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GEORGE ELIOT

GEORGE ELIOT

Scenes of Clerical Life

INTRODUCTION BY GRACE RHYS

INTRODUCTION BY GRACE RHYS

DENT London

DENT London

EVERYMAN’S LIBRARY

Everyman's Library

All rights reserved

All rights reserved.

Printed in Great Britain
This edition was first published in Everyman’s Library in 1910

Printed in Great Britain
This edition was first published in Everyman’s Library in 1910

INTRODUCTION

George Eliot, or Mary Ann Evans, was born at Arbury Farm, in the parish of Chilvers Coton, Warwickshire, on the 22nd of November, 1819. She was the fifth and last child of her father by his second wife—of that father whose sound sense and integrity she so keenly appreciated, and who was to a certain extent the original of her famous characters of Adam Bede and Caleb Garth.

George Eliot, known as Mary Ann Evans, was born at Arbury Farm in the parish of Chilvers Coton, Warwickshire, on November 22, 1819. She was the fifth and youngest child of her father with his second wife—of the father whose good judgment and honesty she valued greatly, and who to some extent inspired her well-known characters Adam Bede and Caleb Garth.

Both during and after her schooldays George Eliot’s history was that of a mind continually out-growing its conditions. She became an excellent housewife and a devoted daughter, but her nature was too large for so cramped a life. ‘You may try,’ she writes in Daniel Deronda, ‘but you can never imagine what it is to have a man’s force of genius in you, and to suffer the slavery of being a girl.’

Both during and after her school days, George Eliot’s story was about a mind that was constantly outgrowing its circumstances. She became a fantastic housewife and a devoted daughter, but her character was too expansive for such a limited life. ‘You may try,’ she writes in Daniel Deronda, ‘but you can never imagine what it’s like to have a man’s level of genius inside you and to endure the constraints of being a girl.’

While her powers were growing she necessarily passed through many phases. She became deeply religious, and wrote poetry, pious and sweet, fair of its kind. Music was a passion with her; in a characteristic letter written at the age of twenty to a friend she tries but fails to describe her experience on hearing the ‘Messiah’ of Birmingham: ‘With a stupid, drowsy sensation, produced by standing sentinel over damson cheese and a warm stove, I cannot do better than ask you to read, if accessible, Wordsworth’s short poem on the “Power of Sound.”’ There you have a concise history of George Eliot’s life at this period, divided as it was between music, literature, and damson cheese.

While her powers were growing, she inevitably went through many phases. She became very religious and wrote poetry that was both pious and lovely in its own way. Music was a passion for her; in a typical letter written at age twenty to a friend, she attempts, but fails, to describe her experience of hearing the ‘Messiah’ in Birmingham: ‘With a stupid, drowsy feeling from standing watch over damson cheese and a warm stove, I can only suggest you read, if you can find it, Wordsworth’s short poem on the “Power of Sound.”’ That gives you a brief overview of George Eliot’s life during this time, split as it was between music, literature, and damson cheese.

Sixteen years of mental work and effort then lay between her and her first achievement; years during which she read industriously and thought more than she read. The classics, French, German, and Italian literature, she laid them all under contribution. She had besides the art of fortunate friendship: her mind naturally chose out the greater intelligences among those she encountered; it was through a warm and enduring friendship with Herbert Spencer that she met at last with George Henry Lewes whose wife she became.

Sixteen years of mental effort and hard work stood between her and her first achievement; years in which she read a lot and thought even more than she read. She took inspiration from classics and literature in French, German, and Italian, drawing from all of them. Additionally, she had a knack for forming meaningful friendships: her mind instinctively connected with the brightest minds she met; it was through a deep and lasting friendship with Herbert Spencer that she eventually met George Henry Lewes, whom she later married.

In this way she served no trifling apprenticeship. Natural genius, experience of life, culture, and great companionship had joined to make her what she was, a philosopher both natural and developed; and, what is more rare, a philosopher with a sense of humour and a perception of the dramatic. Thus when her chance came she was fully equipped to meet it.

In this way, she went through a significant apprenticeship. Her natural talent, life experience, education, and strong friendships came together to shape her into what she was—a philosopher who was both instinctive and refined; and, even more rare, a philosopher with a sense of humor and an appreciation for the dramatic. So when her opportunity arrived, she was completely prepared to seize it.

It came when, at the age of thirty-six she began to write ‘Amos Barton,’ her first attempt at fiction, and one that fixed her career. The story appeared in ‘Blackwood’s Magazine,’ and was followed by ‘Mr. Gilfil’s Love Story’ and ‘Janet’s Repentance.’ Of the three, ‘Mr. Gilfil’s Love Story’ is perhaps the most finished and artistic; while ‘Amos Barton’ has qualities of humour and tenderness that have not often been equalled. ‘Janet’s Repentance,’ strong though it is, and containing the remarkable sketch of Mr. Tryan, is perhaps less surely attractive.

It started when, at thirty-six, she began writing ‘Amos Barton,’ her first attempt at fiction, which defined her career. The story was published in ‘Blackwood’s Magazine,’ followed by ‘Mr. Gilfil’s Love Story’ and ‘Janet’s Repentance.’ Of the three, ‘Mr. Gilfil’s Love Story’ is probably the most polished and artistic; while ‘Amos Barton’ features humor and depth of feeling that are rarely matched. ‘Janet’s Repentance,’ while powerful and including the notable character of Mr. Tryan, might be less universally appealing.

The stories, all three of them, have a particular value as records of an English country life that is rapidly passing away. Moreover, it is country life seen through the medium of a powerful and right-judging personality. It is her intimate and thorough knowledge of big things and small, of literature and damson cheese, enabling her and us to see all round her characters, that provides these characters with their ample background of light and shade.

The three stories hold significant value as records of an English country life that is quickly fading away. Additionally, this country life is presented through the lens of a strong and fair-minded personality. Her deep and detailed understanding of both major and minor aspects, from literature to damson cheese, allows her—and us—to see the full depth of her characters, giving them a rich background of light and shadow.

It is well to realise that since George Eliot’s day the fashion of writing, the temper of the modern mind, are quite changed; it is a curious fact that the more sophisticated we become the simpler grows our speech. Nowadays we talk as nearly as we may in words of one syllable. Our style is stripped more and more of its Latinity. Our writers are more and more in love with French methods—with the delicate clearness of short phrases in which every word tells; with the rejection of all intellectual ambulations round about a subject. To the fanatics of this modern method the style of George Eliot appears strange, impossible. It does not occur to them that her method has virtues which lack to theirs. They may give us a little laboured masterpiece of art in which the vital principle is wanting. George Eliot was great because she gave us passages from life as it was lived in her day which will be vital so long as they are sympathetically read.

It's important to recognize that since George Eliot's time, the way we write and the mindset of today's world have changed significantly. Interestingly, as we become more sophisticated, our language tends to get simpler. Nowadays, we aim to communicate using mostly one-syllable words. Our writing is increasingly devoid of Latin influences. Many modern writers are drawn to French techniques, appreciating the clear, concise nature of short phrases where every word matters, and avoiding lengthy intellectual discussions around a topic. To the enthusiasts of this contemporary style, George Eliot's writing seems strange and impractical. They overlook the fact that her approach has qualities that theirs lacks. They might produce a meticulously crafted piece of art that misses the essential spark. George Eliot was great because she presented us with life as it was experienced in her time, and her work will remain impactful as long as it is read with understanding.

George Eliot can be simple enough when she goes straight forward with her narrative, as, for instance, in the scene of Milly Barton’s death; then her English is clear and sweet for she writes from the heart. But take the opening chapter of the same story, and then you find her philosophical Latinity in full swing: the curious and interesting thing being that this otherwise ponderous work, which is quite of a sort to alarm a Frenchman, is entirely suffused by humour, and enshrines moreover the most charming character studies.

George Eliot can be pretty straightforward when she’s just telling a story, like in the scene of Milly Barton’s death; her writing here is clear and heartfelt. However, look at the opening chapter of the same story, and you’ll see her philosophical style in action: the interesting thing is that this heavy work, which might intimidate a French reader, is filled with humor and also contains some of the most delightful character portraits.

These lively and acute portraits drawn from English country life give its abiding value to George Eliot’s work. Take the character of Mr. Pilgrim the doctor who ‘is never so comfortable as when relaxing his professional legs in one of those excellent farmhouses where the mice are sleek and the mistress sickly;’ or of Mrs. Hackit, ‘a thin woman with a chronic liver complaint which would have secured her Mr. Pilgrim’s entire regard and unreserved good word, even if he had not been in awe of her tongue.’

These vibrant and insightful portrayals of English country life give lasting significance to George Eliot's work. Consider the character of Mr. Pilgrim, the doctor who "is never as comfortable as when he’s lounging in one of those fantastic farmhouses where the mice are well-fed and the lady of the house is unwell;" or Mrs. Hackit, "a thin woman with a long-standing liver issue that would have earned her Mr. Pilgrim’s full attention and praise, even if he hadn’t been intimidated by her sharp tongue."

Or take Mrs. Patten, ‘a pretty little old woman of eighty, with a close cap and tiny flat white curls round her face,’ whose function is ‘quiescence in an easy-chair under the sense of compound interest gradually accumulating,’ and who ‘does her malevolence gently;’ or Mr. Hackit, a shrewd, substantial man, ‘who was fond of soothing the acerbities of the feminine mind by a jocose compliment.’ Where but in George Eliot would you get a tea-party described with such charming acceptance of whim?

Or consider Mrs. Patten, “a sweet little old woman of eighty, with a close cap and tiny flat white curls framing her face,” whose role is “relaxation in an easy chair while feeling the benefits of compound interest slowly stacking up,” and who “carries out her malice gently;” or Mr. Hackit, a clever, solid man, “who enjoyed easing the harshness of women's minds with a playful compliment.” Where else but in George Eliot would you find a tea party portrayed with such delightful appreciation for whimsy?

George Eliot wrote poems at various times which showed she never could have won fame as a poet; but there are moments of her prose that prove she shared at times the poet’s vision. Such a moment is that when the half broken-hearted little Catarina looks out on a windy night landscape lit by moonlight: ‘The trees are harassed by that tossing motion when they would like to be at rest; the shivering grass makes her quake with sympathetic cold; the willows by the pool, bent low and white under that invisible harshness, seem agitated and helpless like herself.’ The italicised sentence represents the high-water mark of George Eliot’s prose; that passage alone should vindicate her imaginative power.

George Eliot wrote poems at various times that showed she could never have achieved fame as a poet; however, there are moments in her prose that prove she occasionally shared the poet’s vision. One such moment occurs when the half-brokenhearted little Catarina looks out at a moonlit, windy night landscape: ‘The trees are troubled by that swaying motion when they wish they could be still; the trembling grass makes her shiver with sympathetic cold; the willows by the pool, bent low and white under that invisible harshness, seem distressed and powerless like herself.’ The italicized sentence represents the peak of George Eliot’s prose; that passage alone should validate her imaginative ability.

G. R.

G. R.

CONTENTS

SCENES OF CLERICAL LIFE

Clerical Life Scenes

THE SAD FORTUNES OF THE REV. AMOS BARTON

Chapter 1

Shepperton Church was a very different-looking building five-and-twenty years ago. To be sure, its substantial stone tower looks at you through its intelligent eye, the clock, with the friendly expression of former days; but in everything else what changes! Now there is a wide span of slated roof flanking the old steeple; the windows are tall and symmetrical; the outer doors are resplendent with oak-graining, the inner doors reverentially noiseless with a garment of red baize; and the walls, you are convinced, no lichen will ever again effect a settlement on—they are smooth and innutrient as the summit of the Rev. Amos Barton’s head, after ten years of baldness and supererogatory soap. Pass through the baize doors and you will see the nave filled with well-shaped benches, understood to be free seats; while in certain eligible corners, less directly under the fire of the clergyman’s eye, there are pews reserved for the Shepperton gentility. Ample galleries are supported on iron pillars, and in one of them stands the crowning glory, the very clasp or aigrette of Shepperton church-adornment—namely, an organ, not very much out of repair, on which a collector of small rents, differentiated by the force of circumstances into an organist, will accompany the alacrity of your departure after the blessing, by a sacred minuet or an easy ‘Gloria’.

Shepperton Church looked completely different twenty-five years ago. Sure, its solid stone tower still gazes at you with its wise eye, the clock, holding onto a friendly feel from the past; but everything else has changed! Now there's a wide span of slate roof next to the old steeple; the windows are tall and symmetrical; the outer doors shine with oak grain, while the inner doors are quietly reverent, draped in red baize; and the walls, you can bet, will never again host lichen—they're smooth and lifeless like the top of Rev. Amos Barton’s head after ten years of baldness and excessive soap. Step through the baize doors and you'll see the nave filled with well-shaped benches, understood to be free seating; while in certain choice corners, not directly under the clergyman’s watchful eye, there are pews reserved for the Shepperton elite. Spacious galleries are supported by iron pillars, and in one of them stands the crowning feature, the highlight of Shepperton's church embellishments—an organ, not in terrible shape, which a collector of small rents, turned into an organist by circumstance, will play to accompany your swift exit after the blessing, with a sacred minuet or an easy 'Gloria'.

Immense improvement! says the well-regulated mind, which unintermittingly rejoices in the New Police, the Tithe Commutation Act, the penny-post, and all guarantees of human advancement, and has no moments when conservative-reforming intellect takes a nap, while imagination does a little Toryism by the sly, revelling in regret that dear, old, brown, crumbling, picturesque inefficiency is everywhere giving place to spick-and-span new-painted, new-varnished efficiency, which will yield endless diagrams, plans, elevations, and sections, but alas! no picture. Mine, I fear, is not a well-regulated mind: it has an occasional tenderness for old abuses; it lingers with a certain fondness over the days of nasal clerks and top-booted parsons, and has a sigh for the departed shades of vulgar errors. So it is not surprising that I recall with a fond sadness Shepperton Church as it was in the old days, with its outer coat of rough stucco, its red-tiled roof, its heterogeneous windows patched with desultory bits of painted glass, and its little flight of steps with their wooden rail running up the outer wall, and leading to the school-children’s gallery.

Huge improvement! says the well-adjusted mind, which constantly celebrates the New Police, the Tithe Commutation Act, the penny-post, and all signs of human progress, and has no moments when conservative-reforming thoughts take a break, while imagination sneaks in a bit of Toryism, rejoicing in the nostalgia for the charming, old, decaying inefficiency that is being replaced by shiny, new efficiency, which will produce endless diagrams, plans, elevations, and sections, but sadly, no character. Mine, I fear, is not a well-adjusted mind: it occasionally has a soft spot for old habits; it lingers with a certain affection for the days of nasal clerks and booted clergymen, and it sighs for the lost shadows of common errors. So, it's not surprising that I remember with a wistful sadness Shepperton Church as it used to be, with its rough stucco exterior, red-tiled roof, mismatched windows patched with random pieces of stained glass, and its little set of steps with a wooden railing running up the outer wall, leading to the schoolchildren's gallery.

Then inside, what dear old quaintnesses! which I began to look at with delight, even when I was so crude a member of the congregation, that my nurse found it necessary to provide for the reinforcement of my devotional patience by smuggling bread-and-butter into the sacred edifice. There was the chancel, guarded by two little cherubims looking uncomfortably squeezed between arch and wall, and adorned with the escutcheons of the Oldinport family, which showed me inexhaustible possibilities of meaning in their blood-red hands, their death’s-heads and cross-bones, their leopards’ paws, and Maltese crosses. There were inscriptions on the panels of the singing-gallery, telling of benefactions to the poor of Shepperton, with an involuted elegance of capitals and final flourishes, which my alphabetic erudition traced with ever-new delight. No benches in those days; but huge roomy pews, round which devout church-goers sat during ‘lessons’, trying to look anywhere else than into each other’s eyes. No low partitions allowing you, with a dreary absence of contrast and mystery, to see everything at all moments; but tall dark panels, under whose shadow I sank with a sense of retirement through the Litany, only to feel with more intensity my burst into the conspicuousness of public life when I was made to stand up on the seat during the psalms or the singing.

Then inside, what charming old quirks! I started to appreciate them even when I was such a clumsy member of the congregation that my nurse felt she had to sneak in some bread-and-butter to help me get through the service. There was the chancel, watched over by two little cherubs squeezed uncomfortably between the arch and the wall, decorated with the coats of arms of the Oldinport family, which showed me endless possibilities of interpretation with their blood-red hands, death’s-heads and crossbones, leopards’ paws, and Maltese crosses. There were inscriptions on the panels of the singing gallery, detailing donations to the poor of Shepperton, written in a beautifully intricate style of letters and flourishes that I traced with continual enjoyment. No benches back then; just huge, spacious pews, around which devoted churchgoers sat during the ‘lessons,’ trying not to make eye contact. No low partitions allowing you to see everything at all times, creating a dull uniformity; instead, there were tall dark panels, under which I sank into a sense of privacy during the Litany, only to feel even more intensely my emergence into public view when I was made to stand on the seat during the psalms or the singing.

And the singing was no mechanical affair of official routine; it had a drama. As the moment of psalmody approached, by some process to me as mysterious and untraceable as the opening of the flowers or the breaking-out of the stars, a slate appeared in front of the gallery, advertising in bold characters the psalm about to be sung, lest the sonorous announcement of the clerk should still leave the bucolic mind in doubt on that head. Then followed the migration of the clerk to the gallery, where, in company with a bassoon, two key-bugles, a carpenter understood to have an amazing power of singing ‘counter’, and two lesser musical stars, he formed the complement of a choir regarded in Shepperton as one of distinguished attraction, occasionally known to draw hearers from the next parish. The innovation of hymn-books was as yet undreamed of; even the New Version was regarded with a sort of melancholy tolerance, as part of the common degeneracy in a time when prices had dwindled, and a cotton gown was no longer stout enough to last a lifetime; for the lyrical taste of the best heads in Shepperton had been formed on Sternhold and Hopkins. But the greatest triumphs of the Shepperton choir were reserved for the Sundays when the slate announced an Anthem, with a dignified abstinence from particularization, both words and music lying far beyond the reach of the most ambitious amateur in the congregation: an anthem in which the key-bugles always ran away at a great pace, while the bassoon every now and then boomed a flying shot after them.

And the singing wasn't just a boring routine; it had real drama. As the time for the psalm approached, by some mysterious process I couldn't understand, a slate appeared in front of the gallery, boldly announcing the psalm to be sung, just in case the clerk's loud announcement still left some people confused. Then the clerk would move to the gallery, where, together with a bassoon, two key-bugles, a carpenter known for his incredible ability to sing in harmony, and two other lesser-known musicians, he made up a choir that was considered quite impressive in Shepperton, sometimes attracting listeners from the next parish. The idea of hymn-books hadn’t even come about yet; even the New Version was looked at with a kind of sad acceptance, seen as part of the general decline in a time when prices had dropped, and a cotton dress couldn’t last a lifetime anymore; the best tastes in Shepperton had been shaped by Sternhold and Hopkins. But the choir's biggest moments were reserved for Sundays when the slate announced an Theme song, which was presented without getting into specifics, as the words and music were far beyond what any aspiring amateur in the congregation could handle: an anthem where the key-bugles always raced ahead while the bassoon occasionally delivered a booming note to follow them.

As for the clergyman, Mr. Gilfil, an excellent old gentleman, who smoked very long pipes and preached very short sermons, I must not speak of him, or I might be tempted to tell the story of his life, which had its little romance, as most lives have between the ages of teetotum and tobacco. And at present I am concerned with quite another sort of clergyman—the Rev. Amos Barton, who did not come to Shepperton until long after Mr. Gilfil had departed this life—until after an interval in which Evangelicalism and the Catholic Question had begun to agitate the rustic mind with controversial debates. A Popish blacksmith had produced a strong Protestant reaction by declaring that, as soon as the Emancipation Bill was passed, he should do a great stroke of business in gridirons; and the disinclination of the Shepperton parishioners generally to dim the unique glory of St Lawrence, rendered the Church and Constitution an affair of their business and bosoms. A zealous Evangelical preacher had made the old sounding-board vibrate with quite a different sort of elocution from Mr. Gilfil’s; the hymn-book had almost superseded the Old and New Versions; and the great square pews were crowded with new faces from distant corners of the parish—perhaps from Dissenting chapels.

As for the clergyman, Mr. Gilfil, an excellent old gentleman who smoked very long pipes and preached very short sermons, I won't say much about him, or I might end up sharing his life's story, which had its little romance, like most lives do between the ages of teetotum and tobacco. Right now, I need to focus on a completely different clergyman—the Rev. Amos Barton, who didn’t arrive in Shepperton until long after Mr. Gilfil had passed away—after a time when Evangelicalism and the Catholic Question had started to stir up the rural mind with heated debates. A Catholic blacksmith sparked a strong Protestant backlash by claiming that once the Emancipation Bill was passed, he would make a fortune selling gridirons; and the general reluctance of the Shepperton parishioners to overshadow the unique glory of St. Lawrence made the Church and Constitution a matter close to their hearts. A passionate Evangelical preacher had filled the old sounding-board with a very different kind of speech than Mr. Gilfil’s; the hymn book had nearly replaced the Old and New Versions; and the large square pews were packed with new faces from far corners of the parish—perhaps from Dissenting chapels.

You are not imagining, I hope, that Amos Barton was the incumbent of Shepperton. He was no such thing. Those were days when a man could hold three small livings, starve a curate a-piece on two of them, and live badly himself on the third. It was so with the Vicar of Shepperton; a vicar given to bricks and mortar, and thereby running into debt far away in a northern county—who executed his vicarial functions towards Shepperton by pocketing the sum of thirty-five pounds ten per annum, the net surplus remaining to him from the proceeds of that living, after the disbursement of eighty pounds as the annual stipend of his curate. And now, pray, can you solve me the following problem? Given a man with a wife and six children: let him be obliged always to exhibit himself when outside his own door in a suit of black broadcloth, such as will not undermine the foundations of the Establishment by a paltry plebeian glossiness or an unseemly whiteness at the edges; in a snowy cravat, which is a serious investment of labour in the hemming, starching, and ironing departments; and in a hat which shows no symptom of taking to the hideous doctrine of expediency, and shaping itself according to circumstances; let him have a parish large enough to create an external necessity for abundant shoe-leather, and an internal necessity for abundant beef and mutton, as well as poor enough to require frequent priestly consolation in the shape of shillings and sixpences; and, lastly, let him be compelled, by his own pride and other people’s, to dress his wife and children with gentility from bonnet-strings to shoe-strings. By what process of division can the sum of eighty pounds per annum be made to yield a quotient which will cover that man’s weekly expenses? This was the problem presented by the position of the Rev. Amos Barton, as curate of Shepperton, rather more than twenty years ago.

You’re not seriously thinking that Amos Barton was the vicar of Shepperton, are you? He definitely wasn’t. Back then, a man could hold three small parishes, starve a curate on two of them, and scrape by on the third. That was the case with the Vicar of Shepperton; a vicar focused on building and renovations, which got him into debt far away in the north—he fulfilled his vicar duties in Shepperton by pocketing thirty-five pounds ten a year, which was the leftover amount from his parish after paying his curate eighty pounds annually. Now, can you solve this problem? Picture a man with a wife and six kids, who must always show up outside his own door dressed in a suit of black broadcloth that won’t undermine the Establishment with a cheap shine or offensive white edges; wearing a pristine cravat, which takes a serious amount of work to hem, starch, and iron; and a hat that doesn’t lean into the ugly idea of practicality but maintains its shape no matter what; let him have a parish big enough to create a real need for a lot of shoes, and an inner need for plenty of beef and mutton, while also being poor enough to need regular priestly support in the form of coins; and, on top of that, let him be pressured by his own pride and others’ expectations to dress his wife and kids stylishly from head to toe. How can eighty pounds a year possibly stretch to cover that man’s weekly expenses? This was the dilemma faced by Rev. Amos Barton as curate of Shepperton, over twenty years ago.

What was thought of this problem, and of the man who had to work it out, by some of the well-to-do inhabitants of Shepperton, two years or more after Mr. Barton’s arrival among them, you shall hear, if you will accompany me to Cross Farm, and to the fireside of Mrs. Patten, a childless old lady, who had got rich chiefly by the negative process of spending nothing. Mrs. Patten’s passive accumulation of wealth, through all sorts of ‘bad times’, on the farm of which she had been sole tenant since her husband’s death, her epigrammatic neighbour, Mrs. Hackit, sarcastically accounted for by supposing that ‘sixpences grew on the bents of Cross Farm;’ while Mr. Hackit, expressing his views more literally, reminded his wife that ‘money breeds money’. Mr. and Mrs. Hackit, from the neighbouring farm, are Mrs. Patten’s guests this evening; so is Mr. Pilgrim, the doctor from the nearest market-town, who, though occasionally affecting aristocratic airs, and giving late dinners with enigmatic side-dishes and poisonous port, is never so comfortable as when he is relaxing his professional legs in one of those excellent farmhouses where the mice are sleek and the mistress sickly. And he is at this moment in clover.

What the well-off residents of Shepperton thought about this situation, and about the man tasked with resolving it, will be revealed if you join me at Cross Farm and sit by the fireplace with Mrs. Patten, a wealthy elderly lady who became rich mainly by not spending any money. Mrs. Patten's quiet accumulation of wealth, despite numerous 'bad times', on the farm that she has solely managed since her husband’s passing, was sarcastically attributed by her witty neighbor, Mrs. Hackit, to the theory that ‘sixpences grew on the bents of Cross Farm’; while Mr. Hackit, being more straightforward, reminded his wife that ‘money breeds money’. Mr. and Mrs. Hackit from the nearby farm are guests of Mrs. Patten this evening, along with Mr. Pilgrim, the doctor from the closest market town. Though he sometimes puts on airs of sophistication and serves late dinners with mysterious side dishes and questionable port, he’s never as comfortable as when he’s resting his professional legs in one of those great farmhouses where the mice are well-fed and the hostess is a bit frail. And right now, he’s quite at ease.

For the flickering of Mrs. Patten’s bright fire is reflected in her bright copper tea-kettle, the home-made muffins glisten with an inviting succulence, and Mrs. Patten’s niece, a single lady of fifty, who has refused the most ineligible offers out of devotion to her aged aunt, is pouring the rich cream into the fragrant tea with a discreet liberality.

For the flickering of Mrs. Patten’s cheerful fire is reflected in her shiny copper tea kettle, the homemade muffins glisten with an appealing succulence, and Mrs. Patten’s niece, a single woman in her fifties, who has turned down the most unsuitable proposals out of loyalty to her elderly aunt, is pouring the rich cream into the aromatic tea with a careful generosity.

Reader! did you ever taste such a cup of tea as Miss Gibbs is this moment handing to Mr. Pilgrim? Do you know the dulcet strength, the animating blandness of tea sufficiently blended with real farmhouse cream? No—most likely you are a miserable town-bred reader, who think of cream as a thinnish white fluid, delivered in infinitesimal pennyworths down area steps; or perhaps, from a presentiment of calves’ brains, you refrain from any lacteal addition, and rasp your tongue with unmitigated bohea. You have a vague idea of a milch cow as probably a white-plaster animal standing in a butterman’s window, and you know nothing of the sweet history of genuine cream, such as Miss Gibbs’s: how it was this morning in the udders of the large sleek beasts, as they stood lowing a patient entreaty under the milking-shed; how it fell with a pleasant rhythm into Betty’s pail, sending a delicious incense into the cool air; how it was carried into that temple of moist cleanliness, the dairy, where it quietly separated itself from the meaner elements of milk, and lay in mellowed whiteness, ready for the skimming-dish which transferred it to Miss Gibbs’s glass cream-jug. If I am right in my conjecture, you are unacquainted with the highest possibilities of tea; and Mr. Pilgrim, who is holding that cup in his hands, has an idea beyond you.

Reader! Have you ever tasted a cup of tea like the one Miss Gibbs is currently serving to Mr. Pilgrim? Do you know the sweet strength, the energizing smoothness of tea perfectly blended with real farmhouse cream? No—most likely you’re a poor town-dweller who thinks of cream as a thin white liquid sold in tiny amounts at grocery stores; or maybe, due to some notion about calves’ brains, you avoid any dairy addition and scorch your tongue with plain tea. You have a vague idea of a dairy cow as maybe a white statue in a shop window, and you have no clue about the delightful story of genuine cream, like Miss Gibbs’s: how it was fresh this morning from the udders of the large, sleek cows, patiently lowing under the milking shed; how it flowed rhythmically into Betty’s pail, filling the cool air with a delicious scent; how it was taken into the pristine dairy, where it gracefully separated from the lesser parts of milk and settled in creamy whiteness, ready for the skimming dish that transferred it to Miss Gibbs’s glass cream jug. If I'm correct in my assumption, you are oblivious to the best possible experiences of tea; and Mr. Pilgrim, who is holding that cup, understands something far beyond your experience.

Mrs. Hackit declines cream; she has so long abstained from it with an eye to the weekly butter-money, that abstinence, wedded to habit, has begotten aversion. She is a thin woman with a chronic liver-complaint, which would have secured her Mr. Pilgrim’s entire regard and unreserved good word, even if he had not been in awe of her tongue, which was as sharp as his own lancet. She has brought her knitting—no frivolous fancy knitting, but a substantial woollen stocking; the click-click of her knitting-needles is the running accompaniment to all her conversation, and in her utmost enjoyment of spoiling a friend’s self-satisfaction, she was never known to spoil a stocking. Mrs. Patten does not admire this excessive click-clicking activity. Quiescence in an easy-chair, under the sense of compound interest perpetually accumulating, has long seemed an ample function to her, and she does her malevolence gently. She is a pretty little old woman of eighty, with a close cap and tiny flat white curls round her face, as natty and unsoiled and invariable as the waxen image of a little old lady under a glass-case; once a lady’s-maid, and married for her beauty. She used to adore her husband, and now she adores her money, cherishing a quiet blood-relation’s hatred for her niece, Janet Gibbs, who, she knows, expects a large legacy, and whom she is determined to disappoint. Her money shall all go in a lump to a distant relation of her husband’s, and Janet shall be saved the trouble of pretending to cry, by finding that she is left with a miserable pittance.

Mrs. Hackit declines cream; she has avoided it for so long to save up for the weekly butter money that this abstinence, combined with habit, has turned into a dislike. She’s a thin woman with a chronic liver issue, which would have earned her Mr. Pilgrim’s full attention and praise even if he weren't intimidated by her sharp tongue, which was as pointy as his own needle. She’s brought her knitting—not some light and fancy project, but a sturdy woolen stocking; the click-click of her knitting needles keeps a constant rhythm to her conversation, and despite her pleasure in undermining a friend's self-satisfaction, she has never been known to damage a stocking. Mrs. Patten isn’t a fan of this incessant clicking. Relaxing in an easy chair, feeling the benefits of compounded interest steadily growing, has always seemed enough for her, and she expresses her malice gently. She’s a cute little old woman of eighty, with a close-fitting cap and small, flat white curls framing her face, looking as neat and pristine as a wax figure of a little old lady under a glass case; once a lady’s maid, she married for her beauty. She used to adore her husband, and now she loves her money, harboring a quiet, familial hatred for her niece, Janet Gibbs, who she knows is expecting a large inheritance, and whom she’s determined to disappoint. All her money will go in one lump to a distant relative of her husband’s, ensuring that Janet will be spared the effort of pretending to cry when she finds out she’s left with just a meager amount.

Mrs. Patten has more respect for her neighbour Mr. Hackit than for most people. Mr. Hackit is a shrewd substantial man, whose advice about crops is always worth listening to, and who is too well off to want to borrow money.

Mrs. Patten respects her neighbor Mr. Hackit more than most people. Mr. Hackit is a clever and solid man, whose advice about crops is always valuable, and who has enough money not to need to borrow.

And now that we are snug and warm with this little tea-party, while it is freezing with February bitterness outside, we will listen to what they are talking about.

And now that we're cozy and warm with this little tea party, while it's freezing with February cold outside, we'll listen to what they’re talking about.

‘So,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, with his mouth only half empty of muffin, ‘you had a row in Shepperton Church last Sunday. I was at Jim Hood’s, the bassoon-man’s, this morning, attending his wife, and he swears he’ll be revenged on the parson—a confounded, methodistical, meddlesome chap, who must be putting his finger in every pie. What was it all about?’

‘So,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, with his mouth only half full of muffin, ‘you had an argument at Shepperton Church last Sunday. I was at Jim Hood’s, the bassoon player, this morning, helping his wife, and he’s swearing he’ll get back at the pastor—a annoying, self-righteous, nosy guy who has to stick his nose in everything. What was it all about?’

‘O, a passill o’ nonsense,’ said Mr. Hackit, sticking one thumb between the buttons of his capacious waistcoat, and retaining a pinch of snuff with the other—for he was but moderately given to ‘the cups that cheer but not inebriate’, and had already finished his tea; ‘they began to sing the wedding psalm for a new-married couple, as pretty a psalm an’ as pretty a tune as any in the prayer-book. It’s been sung for every new-married couple since I was a boy. And what can be better?’ Here Mr. Hackit stretched out his left arm, threw back his head, and broke into melody—

‘Oh, a bunch of nonsense,’ said Mr. Hackit, with one thumb stuck between the buttons of his big waistcoat, while he held a pinch of snuff with the other hand—he was only moderate in his enjoyment of ‘the cups that cheer but don’t inebriate,’ and had already finished his tea; ‘they started singing the wedding psalm for newlyweds, as lovely a psalm and as lovely a tune as any in the prayer book. It’s been sung for every newlywed couple since I was a boy. And what could be better?’ Here Mr. Hackit extended his left arm, threw back his head, and broke into song—

‘O what a happy thing it is,
And joyful for to see,
Brethren to dwell together in
Friendship and unity.

But Mr. Barton is all for th’ hymns, and a sort o’ music as I can’t join in at all.’

But Mr. Barton is all about the hymns and a type of music that I can't participate in at all.

‘And so,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, recalling Mr. Hackit from lyrical reminiscences to narrative, ‘he called out Silence! did he? when he got into the pulpit; and gave a hymn out himself to some meeting-house tune?’

‘And so,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, bringing Mr. Hackit back from his nostalgic memories to the story at hand, ‘he shouted Silence! didn’t he? when he got into the pulpit; and chose a hymn himself to some meeting-house tune?’

‘Yes,’ said Mrs. Hackit, stooping towards the candle to pick up a stitch, ‘and turned as red as a turkey-cock. I often say, when he preaches about meekness, he gives himself a slap in the face. He’s like me—he’s got a temper of his own.’

‘Yes,’ said Mrs. Hackit, leaning toward the candle to pick up a stitch, ‘and turned as red as a turkey. I often say, when he preaches about meekness, he’s really just calling himself out. He’s like me—he has a temper of his own.’

‘Rather a low-bred fellow, I think, Barton,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, who hated the Reverend Amos for two reasons—because he had called in a new doctor, recently settled in Shepperton; and because, being himself a dabbler in drugs, he had the credit of having cured a patient of Mr. Pilgrim’s. ‘They say his father was a Dissenting shoemaker; and he’s half a Dissenter himself. Why, doesn’t he preach extempore in that cottage up here, of a Sunday evening?’

“Honestly, I think he's quite a low-class guy, Barton,” said Mr. Pilgrim, who disliked the Reverend Amos for two reasons—because he had brought in a new doctor who had just moved to Shepperton, and because, being someone who also experimented with medications, he was credited with curing one of Mr. Pilgrim’s patients. “They say his father was a nonconformist shoemaker, and he's partly a nonconformist himself. I mean, doesn’t he give impromptu sermons in that cottage up here on Sunday evenings?”

‘Tchuh!’—this was Mr. Hackit’s favourite interjection—‘that preaching without book’s no good, only when a man has a gift, and has the Bible at his fingers’ ends. It was all very well for Parry—he’d a gift; and in my youth I’ve heard the Ranters out o’ doors in Yorkshire go on for an hour or two on end, without ever sticking fast a minute. There was one clever chap, I remember, as used to say, “You’re like the woodpigeon; it says do, do, do all day, and never sets about any work itself.” That’s bringing it home to people. But our parson’s no gift at all that way; he can preach as good a sermon as need be heard when he writes it down. But when he tries to preach wi’out book, he rambles about, and doesn’t stick to his text; and every now and then he flounders about like a sheep as has cast itself, and can’t get on’ts legs again. You wouldn’t like that, Mrs. Patten, if you was to go to church now?’

‘Tchuh!’—that was Mr. Hackit’s favorite expression—‘that preaching without notes isn’t any good, only when a person has a talent and knows the Bible inside and out. It was fine for Parry—he had a talent; and in my youth, I’ve listened to the Ranters outdoors in Yorkshire go on for an hour or two straight, without losing their flow for a second. There was one clever guy I remember who used to say, “You’re just like the woodpigeon; it says do, do, do all day, and never gets around to doing any work itself.” That really connects with people. But our pastor is really not skilled in that way; he can deliver a great sermon when he writes it down. But when he tries to preach without notes, he wanders off and doesn’t stick to his topic; and now and then, he flounders around like a sheep that has fallen and can’t get back on its feet. You wouldn’t like that, Mrs. Patten, if you went to church now?’

‘Eh, dear,’ said Mrs. Patten, falling back in her chair, and lifting up her little withered hands, ‘what ’ud Mr. Gilfil say, if he was worthy to know the changes as have come about i’ the Church these last ten years? I don’t understand these new sort o’ doctrines. When Mr. Barton comes to see me, he talks about nothing but my sins and my need o’ marcy. Now, Mr. Hackit, I’ve never been a sinner. From the fust beginning, when I went into service, I al’ys did my duty by my emplyers. I was a good wife as any in the county—never aggravated my husband. The cheese-factor used to say my cheese was al’ys to be depended on. I’ve known women, as their cheeses swelled a shame to be seen, when their husbands had counted on the cheese-money to make up their rent; and yet they’d three gowns to my one. If I’m not to be saved, I know a many as are in a bad way. But it’s well for me as I can’t go to church any longer, for if th’ old singers are to be done away with, there’ll be nothing left as it was in Mr. Patten’s time; and what’s more, I hear you’ve settled to pull the church down and build it up new?’

“Eh, dear,” said Mrs. Patten, leaning back in her chair and raising her little withered hands, “what would Mr. Gilfil say if he knew about the changes that have happened in the Church over the last ten years? I don’t understand these new kinds of doctrines. When Mr. Barton comes to visit me, he talks only about my sins and my need for mercy. Now, Mr. Hackit, I’ve never been a sinner. From the very beginning, when I went into service, I always did my duty by my employers. I was as good a wife as any in the county—never caused my husband any trouble. The cheese factor used to say my cheese was always reliable. I’ve known women whose cheeses were a disgrace when their husbands had counted on the cheese money to make up for their rent; and yet they had three gowns for every one of mine. If I’m not to be saved, I know many others who are in a bad way. But it’s just as well for me that I can’t go to church anymore, because if the old singers are to be replaced, there won’t be anything left like it was in Mr. Patten’s time; and what’s more, I hear you’ve decided to tear down the church and rebuild it?”

Now the fact was that the Rev. Amos Barton, on his last visit to Mrs. Patten, had urged her to enlarge her promised subscription of twenty pounds, representing to her that she was only a steward of her riches, and that she could not spend them more for the glory of God than by giving a heavy subscription towards the rebuilding of Shepperton Church—a practical precept which was not likely to smooth the way to her acceptance of his theological doctrine. Mr. Hackit, who had more doctrinal enlightenment than Mrs. Patten, had been a little shocked by the heathenism of her speech, and was glad of the new turn given to the subject by this question, addressed to him as churchwarden and an authority in all parochial matters.

Now, the truth was that Rev. Amos Barton, during his last visit to Mrs. Patten, had encouraged her to increase her promised donation of twenty pounds, explaining that she was merely a steward of her wealth and that she couldn’t spend it more for the glory of God than by contributing a significant amount towards rebuilding Shepperton Church—a practical suggestion that probably wouldn’t help her embrace his theological beliefs. Mr. Hackit, who was more enlightened on these matters than Mrs. Patten, had been a bit taken aback by the ignorance in her remarks, and was pleased by the new direction the conversation took when this question was directed at him as churchwarden and an authority on all local issues.

‘Ah,’ he answered, ‘the parson’s bothered us into it at last, and we’re to begin pulling down this spring. But we haven’t got money enough yet. I was for waiting till we’d made up the sum, and, for my part, I think the congregation’s fell off o’ late; though Mr. Barton says that’s because there’s been no room for the people when they’ve come. You see, the congregation got so large in Parry’s time, the people stood in the aisles; but there’s never any crowd now, as I can see.’

‘Ah,’ he replied, ‘the pastor has finally convinced us to go ahead, and we’re set to start tearing down this spring. But we don't have enough money yet. I thought we should wait until we’ve raised the total, and honestly, I think attendance has dropped off lately; although Mr. Barton claims that’s because there hasn’t been enough room for everyone when they do show up. You see, the congregation got so big during Parry’s time that people had to stand in the aisles; but honestly, I don’t see any crowd now.’

‘Well,’ said Mrs. Hackit, whose good-nature began to act now that it was a little in contradiction with the dominant tone of the conversation, ‘I like Mr. Barton. I think he’s a good sort o’ man, for all he’s not overburthen’d i’ th’ upper storey; and his wife’s as nice a lady-like woman as I’d wish to see. How nice she keeps her children! and little enough money to do’t with; and a delicate creatur’—six children, and another a-coming. I don’t know how they make both ends meet, I’m sure, now her aunt has left ’em. But I sent ’em a cheese and a sack o’ potatoes last week; that’s something towards filling the little mouths.’

‘Well,’ said Mrs. Hackit, whose kind nature started to show now that it clashed a bit with the overall mood of the conversation, ‘I like Mr. Barton. I think he’s a decent guy, even if he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed; and his wife is as lovely a lady as I could hope to see. Look how well she takes care of her kids! and with so little money to do it with; and she’s a delicate woman—six kids, and another one on the way. I really don’t know how they manage to get by, especially now that her aunt has stopped helping them. But I sent them a cheese and a bag of potatoes last week; that’s something towards feeding the little ones.’

‘Ah!’ said Mr. Hackit, ‘and my wife makes Mr. Barton a good stiff glass o’ brandy-and-water, when he comes into supper after his cottage preaching. The parson likes it; it puts a bit o’ colour into ’is face, and makes him look a deal handsomer.’

‘Ah!’ said Mr. Hackit, ‘and my wife makes Mr. Barton a strong glass of brandy and water when he comes in for supper after his cottage preaching. The parson likes it; it gives a bit of color to his face and makes him look a lot handsomer.’

This allusion to brandy-and-water suggested to Miss Gibbs the introduction of the liquor decanters, now that the tea was cleared away; for in bucolic society five-and-twenty years ago, the human animal of the male sex was understood to be perpetually athirst, and ‘something to drink’ was as necessary a ‘condition of thought’ as Time and Space.

This reference to brandy-and-water made Miss Gibbs think about bringing out the liquor decanters now that the tea was done; because in rural society twenty-five years ago, men were seen as always thirsty, and 'something to drink' was just as important for 'thinking' as Time and Space.

‘Now, that cottage preaching,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, mixing himself a strong glass of ‘cold without,’ ‘I was talking about it to our Parson Ely the other day, and he doesn’t approve of it at all. He said it did as much harm as good to give a too familiar aspect to religious teaching. That was what Ely said—it does as much harm as good to give a too familiar aspect to religious teaching.’

‘Now, that cottage preaching,’ Mr. Pilgrim said while pouring himself a strong drink, ‘I was discussing it with our Parson Ely the other day, and he doesn't approve of it at all. He mentioned that it does as much harm as good by making religious teaching seem too casual. That’s what Ely said—it does as much harm as good to make religious teaching seem too casual.’

Mr. Pilgrim generally spoke with an intermittent kind of splutter; indeed, one of his patients had observed that it was a pity such a clever man had a ‘pediment’ in his speech. But when he came to what he conceived the pith of his argument or the point of his joke, he mouthed out his words with slow emphasis; as a hen, when advertising her accouchement, passes at irregular intervals from pianissimo semiquavers to fortissimo crotchets. He thought this speech of Mr. Ely’s particularly metaphysical and profound, and the more decisive of the question because it was a generality which represented no particulars to his mind.

Mr. Pilgrim usually talked with a bit of a stutter; one of his patients even pointed out that it was a shame such a smart guy had a “speech impediment.” But when he got to what he thought was the crux of his argument or the punchline of his joke, he pronounced his words slowly and with emphasis, kind of like a hen that, while announcing her new chicks, shifts irregularly from soft notes to loud beats. He found Mr. Ely’s speech particularly philosophical and deep, and thought it was even more definitive on the matter because it was a general statement that didn’t connect to any specific examples in his mind.

‘Well, I don’t know about that,’ said Mrs. Hackit, who had always the courage of her opinion, ‘but I know, some of our labourers and stockingers as used never to come to church, come to the cottage, and that’s better than never hearing anything good from week’s end to week’s end. And there’s that Track Society as Mr. Barton has begun—I’ve seen more o’ the poor people with going tracking, than all the time I’ve lived in the parish before. And there’d need be something done among ’em; for the drinking at them Benefit Clubs is shameful. There’s hardly a steady man or steady woman either, but what’s a dissenter.’

‘Well, I’m not sure about that,’ said Mrs. Hackit, who always had the courage to express her opinion, ‘but I know some of our laborers and stockingers who never used to come to church now visit the cottage, and that’s better than not hearing anything good all week long. And there’s that Track Society Mr. Barton started—I’ve seen more of the poor people participating in tracking than I ever have in all my time living in the parish. We definitely need to do something for them; the drinking at those Benefit Clubs is disgraceful. There’s hardly a steady man or woman out there who isn’t a dissenter.’

During this speech of Mrs. Hackit’s, Mr. Pilgrim had emitted a succession of little snorts, something like the treble grunts of a guinea-pig, which were always with him the sign of suppressed disapproval. But he never contradicted Mrs. Hackit—a woman whose ‘pot-luck’ was always to be relied on, and who on her side had unlimited reliance on bleeding, blistering, and draughts.

During Mrs. Hackit’s speech, Mr. Pilgrim let out a series of little snorts, similar to the high-pitched grunts of a guinea pig, which always indicated his hidden disapproval. However, he never disagreed with Mrs. Hackit—a woman whose cooking was always dependable, and who herself had complete faith in bleeding, blistering, and using tonics.

Mrs. Patten, however, felt equal disapprobation, and had no reasons for suppressing it.

Mrs. Patten, however, felt just as disapproving and had no reason to hide it.

‘Well,’ she remarked, ‘I’ve heared of no good from interfering with one’s neighbours, poor or rich. And I hate the sight o’ women going about trapesing from house to house in all weathers, wet or dry, and coming in with their petticoats dagged and their shoes all over mud. Janet wanted to join in the tracking, but I told her I’d have nobody tracking out o’ my house; when I’m gone, she may do as she likes. I never dagged my petticoats in my life, and I’ve no opinion o’ that sort o’ religion.’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘I haven’t heard anything good about getting involved in other people’s business, whether they’re poor or rich. And I really dislike seeing women wandering from house to house in any weather, wet or dry, and coming in with their skirts all tattered and their shoes covered in mud. Janet wanted to join in the tracking, but I told her I wouldn’t have anyone tracking out of my house; when I’m gone, she can do whatever she wants. I’ve never dragged my skirts in my life, and I don’t think much of that kind of religion.’

‘No,’ said Mr. Hackit, who was fond of soothing the acerbities of the feminine mind with a jocose compliment, ‘you held your petticoats so high, to show your tight ankles: it isn’t everybody as likes to show her ankles.’

‘No,’ said Mr. Hackit, who liked to ease the sharpness of a woman's mind with a playful compliment, ‘you lifted your skirts so high to flaunt your slender ankles: not everyone is keen on showing off their ankles.’

This joke met with general acceptance, even from the snubbed Janet, whose ankles were only tight in the sense of looking extremely squeezed by her boots. But Janet seemed always to identify herself with her aunt’s personality, holding her own under protest.

This joke was generally accepted, even by the snubbed Janet, whose ankles looked tight only because her boots were super snug. But Janet always seemed to connect herself with her aunt’s personality, maintaining her own identity despite her discontent.

Under cover of the general laughter the gentlemen replenished their glasses, Mr. Pilgrim attempting to give his the character of a stirrup-cup by observing that he ‘must be going’. Miss Gibbs seized this opportunity of telling Mrs. Hackit that she suspected Betty, the dairymaid, of frying the best bacon for the shepherd, when he sat up with her to ‘help brew’; whereupon Mrs. Hackit replied that she had always thought Betty false; and Mrs. Patten said there was no bacon stolen when she was able to manage. Mr. Hackit, who often complained that he ‘never saw the like to women with their maids—he never had any trouble with his men’, avoided listening to this discussion, by raising the question of vetches with Mr. Pilgrim. The stream of conversation had thus diverged: and no more was said about the Rev. Amos Barton, who is the main object of interest to us just now. So we may leave Cross Farm without waiting till Mrs. Hackit, resolutely donning her clogs and wrappings, renders it incumbent on Mr. Pilgrim also to fulfil his frequent threat of going.

With everyone laughing, the men topped off their drinks, and Mr. Pilgrim tried to make his drink seem like a farewell toast by saying he "had to get going." Miss Gibbs took this chance to tell Mrs. Hackit that she suspected Betty, the dairymaid, of frying the best bacon for the shepherd when he stayed up with her to "help brew"; to which Mrs. Hackit responded that she had always thought Betty was untrustworthy. Mrs. Patten chimed in, saying there was no bacon missing when she was in charge. Mr. Hackit, who often complained that he "never saw the like of women and their maids—he never had any issues with his men," tuned out of the conversation by bringing up the topic of vetches with Mr. Pilgrim. The conversation shifted in this way, and no more was said about the Rev. Amos Barton, who is currently our main focus. So we can leave Cross Farm without waiting for Mrs. Hackit, who firmly put on her clogs and wraps, to make it necessary for Mr. Pilgrim to follow through on his usual threat to leave.

Chapter 2

It was happy for the Rev. Amos Barton that he did not, like us, overhear the conversation recorded in the last chapter. Indeed, what mortal is there of us, who would find his satisfaction enhanced by an opportunity of comparing the picture he presents to himself of his own doings, with the picture they make on the mental retina of his neighbours? We are poor plants buoyed up by the air-vessels of our own conceit: alas for us, if we get a few pinches that empty us of that windy self-subsistence! The very capacity for good would go out of us. For, tell the most impassioned orator, suddenly, that his wig is awry, or his shirt-lap hanging out, and that he is tickling people by the oddity of his person, instead of thrilling them by the energy of his periods, and you would infallibly dry up the spring of his eloquence. That is a deep and wide saying, that no miracle can be wrought without faith—without the worker’s faith in himself, as well as the recipient’s faith in him. And the greater part of the worker’s faith in himself is made up of the faith that others believe in him.

It was a good thing for Rev. Amos Barton that he didn't, like us, overhear the conversation described in the last chapter. Honestly, who among us would feel better about ourselves knowing that what we think we are doing looks different in the eyes of our neighbors? We are fragile beings, held up by the balloons of our own self-esteem: woe to us if we get a few jabs that burst that inflated self-importance! Our ability to do good would fade away. For instance, if you suddenly told a passionate speaker that his wig was messed up or his shirt was untucked, and that he was amusing people with his appearance instead of inspiring them with his words, you would surely stifle his ability to speak eloquently. It's a profound truth that no miracle can happen without faith—both the faith of the worker in himself and the faith of the recipient in him. And much of the worker's confidence in himself comes from believing that others have faith in him too.

Let me be persuaded that my neighbour Jenkins considers me a blockhead, and I shall never shine in conversation with him any more. Let me discover that the lovely Phœbe thinks my squint intolerable, and I shall never be able to fix her blandly with my disengaged eye again. Thank heaven, then, that a little illusion is left to us, to enable us to be useful and agreeable—that we don’t know exactly what our friends think of us—that the world is not made of looking-glass, to show us just the figure we are making, and just what is going on behind our backs! By the help of dear friendly illusion, we are able to dream that we are charming and our faces wear a becoming air of self-possession; we are able to dream that other men admire our talents—and our benignity is undisturbed; we are able to dream that we are doing much good—and we do a little. Thus it was with Amos Barton on that very Thursday evening, when he was the subject of the conversation at Cross Farm. He had been dining at Mr. Farquhar’s, the secondary squire of the parish, and, stimulated by unwonted gravies and port-wine, had been delivering his opinion on affairs parochial and otherwise with considerable animation. And he was now returning home in the moonlight—a little chill, it is true, for he had just now no greatcoat compatible with clerical dignity, and a fur boa round one’s neck, with a waterproof cape over one’s shoulders, doesn’t frighten away the cold from one’s legs; but entirely unsuspicious, not only of Mr. Hackit’s estimate of his oratorical powers, but also of the critical remarks passed on him by the Misses Farquhar as soon as the drawing-room door had closed behind him. Miss Julia had observed that she never heard any one sniff so frightfully as Mr. Barton did—she had a great mind to offer him her pocket-handkerchief; and Miss Arabella wondered why he always said he was going for to do a thing. He, excellent man! was meditating fresh pastoral exertions on the morrow; he would set on foot his lending library; in which he had introduced some books that would be a pretty sharp blow to the Dissenters—one especially, purporting to be written by a working man who, out of pure zeal for the welfare of his class, took the trouble to warn them in this way against those hypocritical thieves, the Dissenting preachers. The Rev. Amos Barton profoundly believed in the existence of that working man, and had thoughts of writing to him. Dissent, he considered, would have its head bruised in Shepperton, for did he not attack it in two ways? He preached Low-Church doctrine—as evangelical as anything to be heard in the Independent Chapel; and he made a High-Church assertion of ecclesiastical powers and functions. Clearly, the Dissenters would feel that ‘the parson’ was too many for them. Nothing like a man who combines shrewdness with energy. The wisdom of the serpent, Mr. Barton considered, was one of his strong points.

Let me be convinced that my neighbor Jenkins thinks I'm an idiot, and I’ll never shine in conversation with him again. Let me find out that the lovely Phoebe thinks my squint is unbearable, and I won’t be able to look at her with my unoccupied eye ever again. Thank goodness we still have a bit of illusion left to help us be useful and pleasant—that we don’t know exactly what our friends think of us—that the world isn’t made of mirrors, showing us just how we appear and what’s going on behind our backs! With the help of dear friendly illusion, we can dream that we’re charming and that we have an appealing air of confidence; we can dream that others admire our abilities—and our good nature remains undisturbed; we can dream that we’re doing a lot of good—and we do a little. That’s how it was with Amos Barton on that very Thursday evening when he was the topic of discussion at Cross Farm. He had dined at Mr. Farquhar’s, the secondary landowner of the parish, and, encouraged by unusual gravies and port wine, he had been expressing his views on local affairs and more with considerable enthusiasm. Now he was on his way home in the moonlight—a little chilly, it’s true, since he didn’t have a coat that matched his clerical dignity, and a fur boa around one’s neck, with a waterproof cape on one’s shoulders, doesn’t keep one’s legs warm; but he was completely unaware, not only of Mr. Hackit’s view of his speaking abilities but also of the critical comments made about him by the Misses Farquhar as soon as the drawing-room door had closed behind him. Miss Julia noted that she never heard anyone sniff as horrifically as Mr. Barton did—she almost offered him her pocket handkerchief; and Miss Arabella wondered why he always said he was going for to do something. He, the excellent man! was planning fresh pastoral efforts for the next day; he would launch his lending library, which included some books that would be a pretty heavy blow to the Dissenters—especially one, supposedly written by a working man who, out of pure concern for his class, took it upon himself to warn them against those hypocritical frauds, the Dissenting preachers. The Rev. Amos Barton truly believed in the existence of that working man and considered writing to him. He thought dissent would face tough opposition in Shepperton since he was attacking it in two ways: he preached Low-Church doctrine—as evangelical as anything heard in the Independent Chapel; and he made a High-Church claim about ecclesiastical powers and functions. Clearly, the Dissenters would feel that 'the parson' was too much for them. Nothing beats a man who combines insight with energy. Mr. Barton thought that the wisdom of the serpent was one of his strong points.

Look at him as he winds through the little churchyard! The silver light that falls aslant on church and tomb, enables you to see his slim black figure, made all the slimmer by tight pantaloons, as it flits past the pale gravestones. He walks with a quick step, and is now rapping with sharp decision at the vicarage door. It is opened without delay by the nurse, cook, and housemaid, all at once—that is to say, by the robust maid-of-all-work, Nanny; and as Mr. Barton hangs up his hat in the passage, you see that a narrow face of no particular complexion—even the small-pox that has attacked it seems to have been of a mongrel, indefinite kind—with features of no particular shape, and an eye of no particular expression is surmounted by a slope of baldness gently rising from brow to crown. You judge him, rightly, to be about forty. The house is quiet, for it is half-past ten, and the children have long been gone to bed. He opens the sitting-room door, but instead of seeing his wife, as he expected, stitching with the nimblest of fingers by the light of one candle, he finds her dispensing with the light of a candle altogether. She is softly pacing up and down by the red firelight, holding in her arms little Walter, the year-old baby, who looks over her shoulder with large wide-open eyes, while the patient mother pats his back with her soft hand, and glances with a sigh at the heap of large and small stockings lying unmended on the table.

Look at him as he moves through the small churchyard! The silver light that falls sideways on the church and tombstones lets you see his slim black figure, made even slimmer by tight pants, as it flits past the pale gravestones. He walks briskly and is now knocking decisively on the vicarage door. It's opened immediately by the nurse, cook, and housemaid all at once—that is, by the strong maid-of-all-work, Nanny; and as Mr. Barton hangs up his hat in the hallway, you notice a narrow face of no distinct color—even the smallpox scars on it seem to be of a mixed, vague kind—with features that are also vague, and an eye with no distinct expression, topped with a slight baldness that rises gently from brow to crown. You correctly guess he is about forty. The house is quiet; it's half past ten, and the children have been in bed for a while. He opens the sitting room door, but instead of seeing his wife, as he expected, stitching quickly by the light of a candle, he finds her forgoing the candlelight completely. She is softly pacing back and forth in the glow of the red firelight, cradling little Walter, the one-year-old baby, who looks over her shoulder with wide-open eyes, while the tired mother pats his back gently with her soft hand and glances with a sigh at the pile of large and small stockings lying untouched on the table.

She was a lovely woman—Mrs. Amos Barton, a large, fair, gentle Madonna, with thick, close, chestnut curls beside her well-rounded cheeks, and with large, tender, short-sighted eyes. The flowing lines of her tall figure made the limpest dress look graceful, and her old frayed black silk seemed to repose on her bust and limbs with a placid elegance and sense of distinction, in strong contrast with the uneasy sense of being no fit, that seemed to express itself in the rustling of Mrs. Farquhar’s gros de Naples. The caps she wore would have been pronounced, when off her head, utterly heavy and hideous—for in those days even fashionable caps were large and floppy; but surmounting her long arched neck, and mingling their borders of cheap lace and ribbon with her chestnut curls, they seemed miracles of successful millinery. Among strangers she was shy and tremulous as a girl of fifteen; she blushed crimson if any one appealed to her opinion; yet that tall, graceful, substantial presence was so imposing in its mildness, that men spoke to her with an agreeable sensation of timidity.

She was a beautiful woman—Mrs. Amos Barton, a large, fair, gentle figure like a Madonna, with thick, close chestnut curls framing her full cheeks and large, tender, short-sighted eyes. The smooth lines of her tall figure made even the simplest dress look elegant, and her old, frayed black silk seemed to drape over her body with a calm grace and sense of style, in stark contrast to the uncomfortable feeling of being out of place that came from the rustling of Mrs. Farquhar’s gros de Naples. The caps she wore would have been considered heavy and unattractive when off her head—back then, even stylish caps were large and floppy—but sitting atop her long, elegant neck, with their edges of cheap lace and ribbon mingling with her chestnut curls, they turned out to be surprisingly well-made. Among strangers, she was shy and nervous like a fifteen-year-old girl; she blushed bright red if anyone asked for her opinion. Yet that tall, graceful, solid presence was so impressive in its gentleness that men spoke to her with a pleasant sense of shyness.

Soothing, unspeakable charm of gentle womanhood! which supersedes all acquisitions, all accomplishments. You would never have asked, at any period of Mrs. Amos Barton’s life, if she sketched or played the piano. You would even perhaps have been rather scandalized if she had descended from the serene dignity of being to the assiduous unrest of doing. Happy the man, you would have thought, whose eye will rest on her in the pauses of his fireside reading—whose hot aching forehead will be soothed by the contact of her cool soft hand—who will recover himself from dejection at his mistakes and failures in the loving light of her unreproaching eyes! You would not, perhaps, have anticipated that this bliss would fall to the share of precisely such a man as Amos Barton, whom you have already surmised not to have the refined sensibilities for which you might have imagined Mrs. Barton’s qualities to be destined by pre-established harmony. But I, for one, do not grudge Amos Barton this sweet wife. I have all my life had a sympathy for mongrel ungainly dogs, who are nobody’s pets; and I would rather surprise one of them by a pat and a pleasant morsel, than meet the condescending advances of the loveliest Skye-terrier who has his cushion by my lady’s chair. That, to be sure, is not the way of the world: if it happens to see a fellow of fine proportions and aristocratic mien, who makes no faux pas, and wins golden opinions from all sorts of men, it straightway picks out for him the loveliest of unmarried women, and says, There would be a proper match! Not at all, say I: let that successful, well-shapen, discreet and able gentleman put up with something less than the best in the matrimonial department; and let the sweet woman go to make sunshine and a soft pillow for the poor devil whose legs are not models, whose efforts are often blunders, and who in general gets more kicks than halfpence. She—the sweet woman—will like it as well; for her sublime capacity of loving will have all the more scope; and I venture to say, Mrs. Barton’s nature would never have grown half so angelic if she had married the man you would perhaps have had in your eye for her—a man with sufficient income and abundant personal éclat. Besides, Amos was an affectionate husband, and, in his way, valued his wife as his best treasure.

The soothing, indescribable charm of gentle womanhood! It surpasses all achievements and skills. You would never have thought to ask, at any point in Mrs. Amos Barton’s life, if she could draw or play the piano. You might have even felt a bit shocked if she had left her serene state of simply being for the busy striving of doing. You would think how lucky the man is whose gaze lands on her during the quiet moments of his reading by the fire—whose hot, weary forehead finds comfort in her cool, gentle touch—who lifts his spirits from the depths of his mistakes and failures in the warm glow of her understanding eyes! You might not have expected that this happiness would actually belong to someone like Amos Barton, whom you might have guessed lacked the refined sensitivities you would imagine Mrs. Barton’s qualities deserved. But I don’t begrudge Amos Barton this lovely wife. I’ve always had a soft spot for scruffy, awkward dogs that aren’t anyone’s favorites; I’d prefer to surprise one with a pat and a treat than deal with the condescending attention of the prettiest Skye-terrier lounging by my lady’s chair. Of course, that’s not how the world works: if it notices a man of fine stature and aristocratic elegance who makes no mistakes and earns praise from all kinds of people, it quickly pairs him with the most beautiful single women and thinks, "There’s a perfect match!" Not at all, I say: let that successful, handsome, discreet, and capable guy settle for someone less than the best in marriage; and let that lovely woman create warmth and comfort for the unfortunate guy whose legs aren’t perfect, whose attempts often lead to failure, and who generally gets more kicks than pennies. She—that lovely woman—will appreciate it just as much, because her incredible capacity for love will have so much more room to grow; and I dare say, Mrs. Barton would never have become half so angelic if she had married the man you might have envisioned for her—a man with a good income and plenty of personal charm. Plus, Amos was a caring husband, and in his own way, he treasured his wife above all.

But now he has shut the door behind him, and said, ‘Well, Milly!’

But now he has closed the door behind him and said, "Well, Milly!"

‘Well, dear!’ was the corresponding greeting, made eloquent by a smile.

‘Well, dear!’ was the warm greeting, made expressive by a smile.

‘So that young rascal won’t go to sleep! Can’t you give him to Nanny?’

‘That young troublemaker won't go to sleep! Can’t you give him to Nanny?’

‘Why, Nanny has been busy ironing this evening; but I think I’ll take him to her now.’ And Mrs. Barton glided towards the kitchen, while her husband ran up-stairs to put on his maize-coloured dressing-gown, in which costume he was quietly filling his long pipe when his wife returned to the sitting-room. Maize is a colour that decidedly did not suit his complexion, and it is one that soon soils; why, then, did Mr. Barton select it for domestic wear? Perhaps because he had a knack of hitting on the wrong thing in garb as well as in grammar.

‘Well, Nanny has been busy ironing this evening; but I think I’ll take him to her now.’ And Mrs. Barton glided toward the kitchen, while her husband ran upstairs to put on his yellow dressing gown, in which outfit he was quietly filling his long pipe when his wife returned to the living room. Yellow is a color that definitely did not suit his complexion, and it’s one that gets dirty quickly; so, why did Mr. Barton choose it for home wear? Maybe because he had a talent for picking the wrong thing in both clothing and grammar.

Mrs. Barton now lighted her candle, and seated herself before her heap of stockings. She had something disagreeable to tell her husband, but she would not enter on it at once. ‘Have you had a nice evening, dear?’

Mrs. Barton now lit her candle and sat down in front of her pile of stockings. She had something unpleasant to tell her husband, but she didn’t want to get into it right away. “Did you have a nice evening, dear?”

‘Yes, pretty well. Ely was there to dinner, but went away rather early. Miss Arabella is setting her cap at him with a vengeance. But I don’t think he’s much smitten. I’ve a notion Ely’s engaged to some one at a distance, and will astonish all the ladies who are languishing for him here, by bringing home his bride one of these days. Ely’s a sly dog; he’ll like that.’

'Yeah, pretty much. Ely was over for dinner, but left pretty early. Miss Arabella is really trying to attract him hard. But I don’t think he’s that interested. I have a feeling Ely is engaged to someone far away, and he’s going to surprise all the ladies who are pining for him here by bringing home his bride someday. Ely's a clever guy; he’ll enjoy that.'

‘Did the Farquhars say anything about the singing last Sunday?’

‘Did the Farquhars say anything about the singing last Sunday?’

‘Yes; Farquhar said he thought it was time there was some improvement in the choir. But he was rather scandalized at my setting the tune of “Lydia.” He says he’s always hearing it as he passes the Independent meeting.’ Here Mr. Barton laughed—he had a way of laughing at criticisms that other people thought damaging—and thereby showed the remainder of a set of teeth which, like the remnants of the Old Guard, were few in number, and very much the worse for wear. ‘But,’ he continued, ‘Mrs. Farquhar talked the most about Mr. Bridmain and the Countess. She has taken up all the gossip about them, and wanted to convert me to her opinion, but I told her pretty strongly what I thought.’

‘Yeah; Farquhar mentioned he thought it was time for some improvement in the choir. But he was somewhat shocked that I decided to use the tune of “Lydia.” He says he always hears it when he walks by the Independent meeting.’ Here, Mr. Barton laughed—he had a way of finding humor in criticisms that others found damaging—and showed the few remaining teeth he had, which, much like the remnants of the Old Guard, were few and quite worn out. ‘But,’ he continued, ‘Mrs. Farquhar talked the most about Mr. Bridmain and the Countess. She’s picked up all the gossip about them and wanted to sway me to her side, but I told her pretty firmly what I thought.’

‘Dear me! why will people take so much pains to find out evil about others? I have had a note from the Countess since you went, asking us to dine with them on Friday.’

‘Oh my! Why do people go to such lengths to uncover the faults of others? I received a note from the Countess since you left, inviting us to dinner with them on Friday.’

Here Mrs. Barton reached the note from the mantelpiece, and gave it to her husband. We will look over his shoulder while he reads it:—

Here Mrs. Barton grabbed the note from the mantelpiece and handed it to her husband. Let's peek over his shoulder while he reads it:—

Sweetest Milly,—Bring your lovely face with your husband to dine with us on Friday at seven—do. If not, I will be sulky with you till Sunday, when I shall be obliged to see you, and shall long to kiss you that very moment. Yours, according to your answer,

Cutest Milly,—Please bring your beautiful face along with your husband to dinner with us on Friday at seven—pretty please. If not, I'll be upset with you until Sunday, when I’ll have to see you, and I will want to kiss you that very moment. Yours, depending on your reply,

Caroline Czerlaski.

Caroline Czerlaski.

‘Just like her, isn’t it?’ said Mrs. Barton. ‘I suppose we can go?’

‘Just like her, right?’ said Mrs. Barton. ‘I guess we can go?’

‘Yes; I have no engagement. The Clerical Meeting is to-morrow, you know.’

'Yes; I have no plans. The Clerical Meeting is tomorrow, you know.'

‘And, dear, Woods the butcher called, to say he must have some money next week. He has a payment to make up.’

‘And, dear, Woods the butcher called to say he needs some money next week. He has a payment to cover.’

This announcement made Mr. Barton thoughtful. He puffed more rapidly, and looked at the fire.

This announcement made Mr. Barton think. He puffed more quickly and stared at the fire.

‘I think I must ask Hackit to lend me twenty pounds, for it is nearly two months till Lady-day, and we can’t give Woods our last shilling.’

‘I think I need to ask Hackit to loan me twenty pounds, because it’s almost two months until payday, and we can’t give Woods our last penny.’

‘I hardly like you to ask Mr. Hackit, dear—he and Mrs. Hackit have been so very kind to us; they have sent us so many things lately.’

‘I really don't like you to ask Mr. Hackit, dear—he and Mrs. Hackit have been so incredibly kind to us; they have sent us so many things recently.’

‘Then I must ask Oldinport. I’m going to write to him to-morrow morning, for to tell him the arrangement I’ve been thinking of about having service in the workhouse while the church is being enlarged. If he agrees to attend service there once or twice, the other people will come. Net the large fish, and you’re sure to have the small fry.’

‘Then I need to ask Oldinport. I’m going to write to him tomorrow morning to tell him about the plan I’ve been considering for holding service in the workhouse while the church is being expanded. If he agrees to attend service there once or twice, others will follow. Catch the big fish, and you’re bound to get the small fry.’

‘I wish we could do without borrowing money, and yet I don’t see how we can. Poor Fred must have some new shoes; I couldn’t let him go to Mrs. Bond’s yesterday because his toes were peeping out, dear child! and I can’t let him walk anywhere except in the garden. He must have a pair before Sunday. Really, boots and shoes are the greatest trouble of my life. Everything else one can turn and turn about, and make old look like new; but there’s no coaxing boots and shoes to look better than they are.’

‘I wish we could avoid borrowing money, but I just don’t see how we can. Poor Fred really needs some new shoes; I couldn’t let him go to Mrs. Bond’s yesterday because his toes were sticking out, dear child! and I can't let him walk anywhere except in the garden. He has to have a pair before Sunday. Honestly, boots and shoes are the biggest hassle of my life. Everything else you can reinvent and make look new, but you can’t make boots and shoes look better than they are.’

Mrs. Barton was playfully undervaluing her skill in metamorphosing boots and shoes. She had at that moment on her feet a pair of slippers which had long ago lived through the prunella phase of their existence, and were now running a respectable career as black silk slippers, having been neatly covered with that material by Mrs. Barton’s own neat fingers. Wonderful fingers those! they were never empty; for if she went to spend a few hours with a friendly parishioner, out came her thimble and a piece of calico or muslin, which, before she left, had become a mysterious little garment with all sorts of hemmed ins and outs. She was even trying to persuade her husband to leave off tight pantaloons, because if he would wear the ordinary gun-cases, she knew she could make them so well that no one would suspect the sex of the tailor.

Mrs. Barton was playfully downplaying her talent for transforming boots and shoes. At that moment, she was wearing a pair of slippers that had long since moved on from their prunella phase and were now having a respectable life as black silk slippers, having been neatly covered with that material by Mrs. Barton’s own skillful hands. Those hands were truly amazing! They were never idle; if she went to spend a few hours with a friendly parishioner, she would pull out her thimble and a piece of calico or muslin, which, before she left, would turn into a mysterious little garment with all sorts of finished edges. She was even trying to convince her husband to ditch his tight pantaloons because if he wore the regular gun-cases, she knew she could tailor them so well that no one would guess who the tailor was.

But by this time Mr. Barton has finished his pipe, the candle begins to burn low, and Mrs. Barton goes to see if Nanny has succeeded in lulling Walter to sleep. Nanny is that moment putting him in the little cot by his mother’s bedside; the head, with its thin wavelets of brown hair, indents the little pillow; and a tiny, waxen, dimpled fist hides the rosy lips, for baby is given to the infantile peccadillo of thumb-sucking.

But by this time Mr. Barton has finished his pipe, the candle is burning low, and Mrs. Barton goes to check if Nanny has managed to get Walter to sleep. At that moment, Nanny is placing him in the little crib beside his mother’s bed; his head, with its thin waves of brown hair, sinks into the small pillow; and a tiny, waxy, dimpled fist covers his rosy lips, as the baby is indulging in the childhood habit of thumb-sucking.

So Nanny could now join in the short evening prayer, and all could go to bed.

So Nanny could now join in the brief evening prayer, and everyone could go to bed.

Mrs. Barton carried up-stairs the remainder of her heap of stockings, and laid them on a table close to her bedside, where also she placed a warm shawl, removing her candle, before she put it out, to a tin socket fixed at the head of her bed. Her body was very weary, but her heart was not heavy, in spite of Mr. Woods the butcher, and the transitory nature of shoe-leather; for her heart so overflowed with love, she felt sure she was near a fountain of love that would care for husband and babes better than she could foresee; so she was soon asleep. But about half-past five o’clock in the morning, if there were any angels watching round her bed—and angels might be glad of such an office—they saw Mrs. Barton rise up quietly, careful not to disturb the slumbering Amos, who was snoring the snore of the just, light her candle, prop herself upright with the pillows, throw the warm shawl round her shoulders, and renew her attack on the heap of undarned stockings. She darned away until she heard Nanny stirring, and then drowsiness came with the dawn; the candle was put out, and she sank into a doze. But at nine o’clock she was at the breakfast-table, busy cutting bread-and-butter for five hungry mouths, while Nanny, baby on one arm, in rosy cheeks, fat neck, and night-gown, brought in a jug of hot milk-and-water. Nearest her mother sits the nine-year-old Patty, the eldest child, whose sweet fair face is already rather grave sometimes, and who always wants to run up-stairs to save mamma’s legs, which get so tired of an evening. Then there are four other blond heads—two boys and two girls, gradually decreasing in size down to Chubby, who is making a round O of her mouth to receive a bit of papa’s ‘baton’. Papa’s attention was divided between petting Chubby, rebuking the noisy Fred, which he did with a somewhat excessive sharpness, and eating his own breakfast. He had not yet looked at Mamma, and did not know that her cheek was paler than usual. But Patty whispered, ‘Mamma, have you the headache?’

Mrs. Barton carried the rest of her pile of stockings upstairs and laid them on a table by her bedside, where she also placed a warm shawl. Before putting out her candle, she moved it to a tin holder fixed at the head of her bed. She was very tired, but her heart wasn’t heavy, despite Mr. Woods the butcher and the fleeting nature of shoe-leather; she was overflowing with love and felt sure she was close to a source of love that would take care of her husband and kids better than she could imagine, so she quickly fell asleep. But around 5:30 in the morning, if there were any angels watching over her bed—and they might have relished such a task—they would have seen Mrs. Barton quietly get up, careful not to disturb her snoring husband Amos, light her candle, sit up against the pillows, wrap the warm shawl around her shoulders, and tackle the pile of undarned stockings. She darned until she heard Nanny stirring, and then drowsiness set in with the dawn; she blew out the candle and dozed off. By 9 a.m., she was at the breakfast table, busy cutting bread and butter for five hungry mouths, while Nanny, baby in one arm with rosy cheeks, a chubby neck, and a nightgown, brought in a jug of hot milk and water. Nearest to her sat nine-year-old Patty, the eldest child, whose sweet fair face sometimes looked a bit serious and who always wanted to run upstairs to help mom’s tired legs in the evening. Then there were four other blond heads—two boys and two girls—getting progressively smaller down to Chubby, who was making a round O with her mouth to eat a piece of dad’s ‘baton’. Dad was split between giving attention to Chubby, scolding noisy Fred with a bit too much sharpness, and eating his own breakfast. He hadn’t yet looked at Mom and didn’t know that her cheek was paler than usual. But Patty whispered, “Mom, do you have a headache?”

Happily coal was cheap in the neighbourhood of Shepperton, and Mr. Hackit would any time let his horses draw a load for ‘the parson’ without charge; so there was a blazing fire in the sitting-room, and not without need, for the vicarage garden, as they looked out on it from the bow-window, was hard with black frost, and the sky had the white woolly look that portends snow.

Fortunately, coal was cheap around Shepperton, and Mr. Hackit would gladly let his horses haul a load for 'the parson' for free; so there was a roaring fire in the living room, which was definitely needed, since the vicarage garden, as they looked at it from the bay window, was frozen hard with black frost, and the sky had that fluffy white appearance that suggests snow.

Breakfast over, Mr. Barton mounted to his study, and occupied himself in the first place with his letter to Mr. Oldinport. It was very much the same sort of letter as most clergymen would have written under the same circumstances, except that instead of perambulate, the Rev. Amos wrote preambulate, and instead of ‘if haply’, ‘if happily’, the contingency indicated being the reverse of happy. Mr. Barton had not the gift of perfect accuracy in English orthography and syntax, which was unfortunate, as he was known not to be a Hebrew scholar, and not in the least suspected of being an accomplished Grecian. These lapses, in a man who had gone through the Eleusinian mysteries of a university education, surprised the young ladies of his parish extremely; especially the Misses Farquhar, whom he had once addressed in a letter as Dear Mads., apparently an abbreviation for Madams. The persons least surprised at the Rev. Amos’s deficiencies were his clerical brethren, who had gone through the mysteries themselves.

After finishing breakfast, Mr. Barton went up to his study and started working on his letter to Mr. Oldinport. It was pretty much the same kind of letter that most clergymen would write in similar situations, except that instead of "perambulate," the Rev. Amos wrote "preambulate," and instead of saying "if haply," he wrote "if happily," with the implication being the opposite of happy. Mr. Barton didn't quite have the knack for perfect accuracy in English spelling and grammar, which was unfortunate since he wasn't known to be a Hebrew scholar, and no one suspected him of being a skilled Greek expert. These mistakes really surprised the young ladies of his parish, especially the Misses Farquhar, whom he once addressed in a letter as "Dear Mads.," seemingly a shorthand for "Madams." The people least surprised by the Rev. Amos’s shortcomings were his clerical colleagues, who had experienced similar challenges themselves.

At eleven o’clock, Mr. Barton walked forth in cape and boa, with the sleet driving in his face, to read prayers at the workhouse, euphemistically called the ‘College’. The College was a huge square stone building, standing on the best apology for an elevation of ground that could be seen for about ten miles around Shepperton. A flat ugly district this; depressing enough to look at even on the brightest days. The roads are black with coal-dust, the brick houses dingy with smoke; and at that time—the time of handloom weavers—every other cottage had a loom at its window, where you might see a pale, sickly-looking man or woman pressing a narrow chest against a board, and doing a sort of treadmill work with legs and arms. A troublesome district for a clergyman; at least to one who, like Amos Barton, understood the ‘cure of souls’ in something more than an official sense; for over and above the rustic stupidity furnished by the farm-labourers, the miners brought obstreperous animalism, and the weavers an acrid Radicalism and Dissent. Indeed, Mrs. Hackit often observed that the colliers, who many of them earned better wages than Mr. Barton, ‘passed their time in doing nothing but swilling ale and smoking, like the beasts that perish’ (speaking, we may presume, in a remotely analogical sense); and in some of the alehouse corners the drink was flavoured by a dingy kind of infidelity, something like rinsings of Tom Paine in ditch-water. A certain amount of religious excitement created by the popular preaching of Mr. Parry, Amos’s predecessor, had nearly died out, and the religious life of Shepperton was falling back towards low-water mark. Here, you perceive, was a terrible stronghold of Satan; and you may well pity the Rev. Amos Barton, who had to stand single-handed and summon it to surrender. We read, indeed, that the walls of Jericho fell down before the sound of trumpets; but we nowhere hear that those trumpets were hoarse and feeble. Doubtless they were trumpets that gave forth clear ringing tones, and sent a mighty vibration through brick and mortar. But the oratory of the Rev. Amos resembled rather a Belgian railway-horn, which shows praiseworthy intentions inadequately fulfilled. He often missed the right note both in public and private exhortation, and got a little angry in consequence. For though Amos thought himself strong, he did not feel himself strong. Nature had given him the opinion, but not the sensation. Without that opinion he would probably never have worn cambric bands, but would have been an excellent cabinetmaker and deacon of an Independent church, as his father was before him (he was not a shoemaker, as Mr. Pilgrim had reported). He might then have sniffed long and loud in the corner of his pew in Gun Street Chapel; he might have indulged in halting rhetoric at prayer-meetings, and have spoken faulty English in private life; and these little infirmities would not have prevented him, honest faithful man that he was, from being a shining light in the dissenting circle of Bridgeport. A tallow dip, of the long-eight description, is an excellent thing in the kitchen candlestick, and Betty’s nose and eye are not sensitive to the difference between it and the finest wax; it is only when you stick it in the silver candlestick, and introduce it into the drawing-room, that it seems plebeian, dim, and ineffectual. Alas for the worthy man who, like that candle, gets himself into the wrong place! It is only the very largest souls who will be able to appreciate and pity him—who will discern and love sincerity of purpose amid all the bungling feebleness of achievement.

At eleven o’clock, Mr. Barton stepped out in his cape and scarf, with the sleet hitting his face, to lead prayers at the workhouse, nicely referred to as the ‘College’. The College was a large square stone building, situated on the best excuse for a raised piece of land that could be seen for about ten miles around Shepperton. It was a flat, unattractive area; depressing to look at even on the sunniest days. The roads were covered in coal dust, and the brick houses were grimy from smoke; and back then—during the era of handloom weavers—every other cottage had a loom visible in its window, where you’d see a pale, sickly-looking man or woman pushing against a board, working in a sort of robotic way with their legs and arms. It was a challenging place for a clergyman; at least for someone like Amos Barton, who understood the ‘cure of souls’ in more than just an official way; because besides the simple-mindedness provided by the farm laborers, the miners brought an unruly wildness, and the weavers added a sharp Radicalism and dissent. In fact, Mrs. Hackit often remarked that the miners, many of whom earned better wages than Mr. Barton, ‘spent their time doing nothing but drinking ale and smoking, like the animals that perish’ (presumably speaking in a loosely metaphorical way); and in some corners of the pub, the drinks were spiced with a dirty kind of disbelief, something akin to the essence of Tom Paine mixed with ditch-water. A bit of religious enthusiasm stirred up by the popular sermons of Mr. Parry, Amos’s predecessor, had nearly faded away, and the religious life of Shepperton was sinking back to a low point. Here, you see, was a terrible stronghold of evil; and you can understand why the Rev. Amos Barton had to face it alone and call for its surrender. We read, of course, that the walls of Jericho fell down to the sound of trumpets; but we never hear that those trumpets were hoarse and feeble. Surely they were trumpets that produced clear, ringing sounds and created a powerful vibration through the brick and mortar. But the oratory of the Rev. Amos resembled more of a Belgian train horn, which shows good intentions but falls short. He often hit the wrong note both in public and private speaking, and he would get a bit frustrated because of it. For although Amos thought of himself as strong, he didn’t feel strong. Nature had given him the idea, but not the feeling. Without that perception, he probably would never have worn the white collar, instead becoming an excellent cabinetmaker and deacon of an Independent church, just like his father before him (he wasn’t a shoemaker, as Mr. Pilgrim had claimed). He might then have sniffed long and loud in the corner of his pew in Gun Street Chapel; he might have fumbled his words at prayer meetings and spoken imperfect English in daily life; and these little flaws wouldn’t have stopped him, as honest and faithful as he was, from being a shining light in the dissenting community of Bridgeport. A long eight-inch tallow candle is great in the kitchen candlestick, and Betty’s nose and eyes don’t notice the difference between it and the finest wax; it’s only when you place it in the silver candlestick and bring it into the drawing-room that it appears ordinary, dim, and ineffective. Alas for the good man who, like that candle, ends up in the wrong place! It’s only the very largest souls who will be able to appreciate and sympathize with him—who will see and value sincerity of intention amidst all the clumsy weakness of accomplishment.

But now Amos Barton has made his way through the sleet as far as the College, has thrown off his hat, cape, and boa, and is reading, in the dreary stone-floored dining-room, a portion of the morning service to the inmates seated on the benches before him. Remember, the New Poor-law had not yet come into operation, and Mr. Barton was not acting as paid chaplain of the Union, but as the pastor who had the cure of all souls in his parish, pauper as well as other. After the prayers he always addressed to them a short discourse on some subject suggested by the lesson for the day, striving if by this means some edifying matter might find its way into the pauper mind and conscience—perhaps a task as trying as you could well imagine to the faith and patience of any honest clergyman. For, on the very first bench, these were the faces on which his eye had to rest, watching whether there was any stirring under the stagnant surface.

But now Amos Barton has made his way through the sleet to the College, removed his hat, cape, and scarf, and is reading a segment of the morning service in the dreary, stone-floored dining room to the residents seated on the benches in front of him. Remember, the New Poor Law hadn’t yet been implemented, and Mr. Barton wasn’t acting as a paid chaplain of the Union, but as the pastor looking after all souls in his parish, including the poor. After the prayers, he always gave a short talk on a topic suggested by the day’s lesson, hoping that some uplifting content might reach the minds and consciences of the poor—perhaps a task that would test the faith and patience of any honest clergyman. For, on the very first bench, these were the faces on which his gaze had to rest, watching for any sign of life beneath the stagnant surface.

Right in front of him—probably because he was stone-deaf, and it was deemed more edifying to hear nothing at a short distance than at a long one—sat ‘Old Maxum’, as he was familiarly called, his real patronymic remaining a mystery to most persons. A fine philological sense discerns in this cognomen an indication that the pauper patriarch had once been considered pithy and sententious in his speech; but now the weight of ninety-five years lay heavy on his tongue as well as in his ears, and he sat before the clergyman with protruded chin, and munching mouth, and eyes that seemed to look at emptiness.

Right in front of him—probably because he was completely deaf, and it was considered better to hear nothing at a close distance than at a far one—sat ‘Old Maxum’, as everyone called him, with his real name remaining a mystery to most people. A keen understanding of language suggests that this nickname hinted that the old man had once been known for his insightful and meaningful speech; but now, the burden of ninety-five years weighed heavily on both his tongue and his ears, and he sat in front of the clergyman with his chin jutting out, mouth moving as he chewed, and eyes that seemed to stare into emptiness.

Next to him sat Poll Fodge—known to the magistracy of her county as Mary Higgins—a one-eyed woman, with a scarred and seamy face, the most notorious rebel in the workhouse, said to have once thrown her broth over the master’s coat-tails, and who, in spite of nature’s apparent safeguards against that contingency, had contributed to the perpetuation of the Fodge characteristics in the person of a small boy, who was behaving naughtily on one of the back benches. Miss Fodge fixed her one sore eye on Mr. Barton with a sort of hardy defiance.

Next to him sat Poll Fodge—known to the local magistrates as Mary Higgins—a one-eyed woman with a scarred and rough face, the most infamous rebel in the workhouse. It's said she once threw her broth over the master’s coat-tails, and despite nature's apparent attempts to prevent it, she had passed on the Fodge traits to a small boy who was misbehaving on one of the back benches. Miss Fodge fixed her one sore eye on Mr. Barton with a kind of tough defiance.

Beyond this member of the softer sex, at the end of the bench, sat ‘Silly Jim’, a young man afflicted with hydrocephalus, who rolled his head from side to side, and gazed at the point of his nose. These were the supporters of Old Maxum on his right.

Beyond this woman, at the end of the bench, sat 'Silly Jim,' a young man with hydrocephalus, who rolled his head side to side and stared at the tip of his nose. These were the supporters of Old Maxum on his right.

On his left sat Mr. Fitchett, a tall fellow, who had once been a footman in the Oldinport family, and in that giddy elevation had enunciated a contemptuous opinion of boiled beef, which had been traditionally handed down in Shepperton as the direct cause of his ultimate reduction to pauper commons. His calves were now shrunken, and his hair was grey without the aid of powder; but he still carried his chin as if he were conscious of a stiff cravat; he set his dilapidated hat on with a knowing inclination towards the left ear; and when he was on field-work, he carted and uncarted the manure with a sort of flunkey grace, the ghost of that jaunty demeanour with which he used to usher in my lady’s morning visitors. The flunkey nature was nowhere completely subdued but in his stomach, and he still divided society into gentry, gentry’s flunkeys, and the people who provided for them. A clergyman without a flunkey was an anomaly, belonging to neither of these classes. Mr. Fitchett had an irrepressible tendency to drowsiness under spiritual instruction, and in the recurrent regularity with which he dozed off until he nodded and awaked himself, he looked not unlike a piece of mechanism, ingeniously contrived for measuring the length of Mr. Barton’s discourse.

On his left sat Mr. Fitchett, a tall guy who had once been a footman in the Oldinport family. Because of that experience, he developed a snobby opinion of boiled beef, which people in Shepperton believed was the main reason for his fall into poverty. His calves were now thin, and his hair had turned grey without any powder; yet he still held his chin up like he was wearing a stiff cravat. He tilted his worn-out hat to rest at a jaunty angle over his left ear, and when he was out working in the fields, he moved the manure with a sort of flunky elegance, reminiscent of how he used to greet my lady’s morning visitors. The flunky in him was still present, except in his stomach, and he continued to categorize society into the gentry, the gentry's flunkies, and the people who supported them. A clergyman without a flunky was a rarity, not fitting into any of these groups. Mr. Fitchett had an irresistible tendency to doze off during sermons, and the regularity with which he nodded off and then jolted awake made him look like a device cleverly designed to measure how long Mr. Barton’s speeches were.

Perfectly wide-awake, on the contrary, was his left-hand neighbour, Mrs. Brick, one of those hard undying old women, to whom age seems to have given a network of wrinkles, as a coat of magic armour against the attacks of winters, warm or cold. The point on which Mrs. Brick was still sensitive—the theme on which you might possibly excite her hope and fear—was snuff. It seemed to be an embalming powder, helping her soul to do the office of salt.

Perfectly awake, on the other hand, was his left-hand neighbor, Mrs. Brick, one of those tough, resilient old women to whom age has given a web of wrinkles like a magical armor against the harshness of both warm and cold winters. The topic that still seemed to touch a nerve with Mrs. Brick—the subject that could potentially stir her hopes and fears—was snuff. It appeared to be a preserving powder, helping her spirit fulfill the role of salt.

And now, eke out an audience of which this front benchful was a sample, with a certain number of refractory children, over whom Mr. Spratt, the master of the workhouse, exercised an irate surveillance, and I think you will admit that the university-taught clergyman, whose office it is to bring home the gospel to a handful of such souls, has a sufficiently hard task. For, to have any chance of success, short of miraculous intervention, he must bring his geographical, chronological, exegetical mind pretty nearly to the pauper point of view, or of no view; he must have some approximate conception of the mode in which the doctrines that have so much vitality in the plenum of his own brain will comport themselves in vacuo—that is to say, in a brain that is neither geographical, chronological, nor exegetical. It is a flexible imagination that can take such a leap as that, and an adroit tongue that can adapt its speech to so unfamiliar a position. The Rev. Amos Barton had neither that flexible imagination, nor that adroit tongue. He talked of Israel and its sins, of chosen vessels, of the Paschal lamb, of blood as a medium of reconciliation; and he strove in this way to convey religious truth within reach of the Fodge and Fitchett mind. This very morning, the first lesson was the twelfth chapter of Exodus, and Mr. Barton’s exposition turned on unleavened bread. Nothing in the world more suited to the simple understanding than instruction through familiar types and symbols! But there is always this danger attending it, that the interest or comprehension of your hearers may stop short precisely at the point where your spiritual interpretation begins. And Mr. Barton this morning succeeded in carrying the pauper imagination to the dough-tub, but unfortunately was not able to carry it upwards from that well-known object to the unknown truths which it was intended to shadow forth.

And now, consider an audience that included this group at the front, along with a few unruly kids, whom Mr. Spratt, the workhouse master, watched over with irritation. I think you’ll agree that the university-educated clergyman, whose job is to share the gospel with a handful of such individuals, has a tough job. To have any chance of success, short of a miracle, he has to adjust his geographical, chronological, and analytical mindset to roughly match the perspective of those in poverty—or perhaps no perspective at all; he needs a decent idea of how the concepts that thrive in his own mind will make sense to a mind that is neither geographical, chronological, nor analytical. It takes a flexible imagination to make such a leap, and a skilled speaker to adapt their language to such an unfamiliar situation. The Rev. Amos Barton lacked both that flexible imagination and that skilled speech. He talked about Israel and its sins, about chosen vessels, the Passover lamb, and blood as a means of reconciliation; he attempted to convey religious truth in terms that the simple minds of Fodge and Fitchett could grasp. This very morning, the first lesson was from the twelfth chapter of Exodus, and Mr. Barton’s talk focused on unleavened bread. There’s nothing better suited for simple understanding than teaching through familiar examples and symbols! But there’s always the risk that your audience's interest or understanding will stop exactly where your spiritual explanation begins. And this morning, Mr. Barton managed to engage the impoverished imagination up to the dough-tub, but unfortunately, he couldn’t lift it from that familiar object to the deeper truths it was meant to represent.

Alas! a natural incapacity for teaching, finished by keeping ‘terms’ at Cambridge, where there are able mathematicians, and butter is sold by the yard, is not apparently the medium through which Christian doctrine will distil as welcome dew on withered souls.

Alas! a natural inability to teach, completed by spending ‘terms’ at Cambridge, where skilled mathematicians thrive, and butter is sold by the yard, is not clearly the way in which Christian doctrine will flow like refreshing dew on dry souls.

And so, while the sleet outside was turning to unquestionable snow, and the stony dining-room looked darker and drearier, and Mr. Fitchett was nodding his lowest, and Mr. Spratt was boxing the boys’ ears with a constant rinforzando, as he felt more keenly the approach of dinner-time, Mr. Barton wound up his exhortation with something of the February chill at his heart as well as his feet. Mr. Fitchett, thoroughly roused now the instruction was at an end, obsequiously and gracefully advanced to help Mr. Barton in putting on his cape, while Mrs. Brick rubbed her withered forefinger round and round her little shoe-shaped snuff-box, vainly seeking for the fraction of a pinch. I can’t help thinking that if Mr. Barton had shaken into that little box a small portion of Scotch high-dried, he might have produced something more like an amiable emotion in Mrs. Brick’s mind than anything she had felt under his morning’s exposition of the unleavened bread. But our good Amos laboured under a deficiency of small tact as well as of small cash; and when he observed the action of the old woman’s forefinger, he said, in his brusque way, ‘So your snuff is all gone, eh?’

And so, while the sleet outside was turning into undeniable snow, and the gloomy dining room looked even darker and drearier, Mr. Fitchett was nodding off, and Mr. Spratt was constantly scolding the boys, feeling the approach of dinner time more intensely. Mr. Barton wrapped up his talk with a sense of February chill in both his heart and his feet. Now that instruction was over, Mr. Fitchett, fully awake, politely stepped forward to help Mr. Barton put on his cape, while Mrs. Brick rubbed her withered finger around her little shoe-shaped snuff box, desperately searching for a tiny pinch. I can’t help but think that if Mr. Barton had poured a bit of high-quality Scotch snuff into that little box, it might have sparked a more pleasant feeling in Mrs. Brick than anything she experienced during his morning lecture on unleavened bread. But our good Amos lacked both subtlety and spare cash; and when he saw how the old woman was moving her finger, he bluntly said, “So your snuff is all gone, huh?”

Mrs. Brick’s eyes twinkled with the visionary hope that the parson might be intending to replenish her box, at least mediately, through the present of a small copper.

Mrs. Brick’s eyes sparkled with the hopeful idea that the parson might be planning to refill her box, even if indirectly, by giving her a small coin.

‘Ah, well! you’ll soon be going where there is no more snuff. You’ll be in need of mercy then. You must remember that you may have to seek for mercy and not find it, just as you’re seeking for snuff.’

‘Ah, well! You’ll soon be going where there is no more snuff. You’ll need mercy then. Just remember that you might have to look for mercy and not find it, just like you’re looking for snuff.’

At the first sentence of this admonition, the twinkle subsided from Mrs. Brick’s eyes. The lid of her box went ‘click!’ and her heart was shut up at the same moment.

At the first sentence of this warning, the sparkle faded from Mrs. Brick’s eyes. The lid of her box went ‘click!’ and her heart closed up at the same moment.

But now Mr. Barton’s attention was called for by Mr. Spratt, who was dragging a small and unwilling boy from the rear. Mr. Spratt was a small-featured, small-statured man, with a remarkable power of language, mitigated by hesitation, who piqued himself on expressing unexceptionable sentiments in unexceptional language on all occasions.

But now Mr. Barton’s attention was drawn by Mr. Spratt, who was dragging a small and reluctant boy from the back. Mr. Spratt was a man of short stature and small features, with a remarkable way with words, though he often hesitated. He took pride in expressing perfectly acceptable ideas in plain language at all times.

‘Mr. Barton, sir—aw—aw—excuse my trespassing on your time—aw—to beg that you will administer a rebuke to this boy; he is—aw—aw—most inveterate in ill-behaviour during service-time.’

‘Mr. Barton, sir—uh—uh—sorry to take up your time—uh—to ask that you give this boy a serious reprimand; he is—uh—uh—really persistent in behaving poorly during service.’

The inveterate culprit was a boy of seven, vainly contending against ‘candles’ at his nose by feeble sniffing. But no sooner had Mr. Spratt uttered his impeachment, than Miss Fodge rushed forward and placed herself between Mr. Barton and the accused.

The persistent troublemaker was a seven-year-old boy, futilely trying to fight off the "candles" at his nose by weakly sniffing. But as soon as Mr. Spratt made his accusation, Miss Fodge hurried forward and positioned herself between Mr. Barton and the boy who was being accused.

‘That’s my child, Muster Barton,’ she exclaimed, further manifesting her maternal instincts by applying her apron to her offspring’s nose. ‘He’s al’ys a-findin’ faut wi’ him, and a-poundin’ him for nothin’. Let him goo an’ eat his roost goose as is a-smellin’ up in our noses while we’re a-swallering them greasy broth, an’ let my boy alooan.’

‘That’s my child, Muster Barton,’ she exclaimed, showing her maternal instincts by wiping her child’s nose with her apron. ‘He’s always finding fault with him and criticizing him for no reason. Let him go and eat his roasted goose that’s smelling so good while we’re choking down this greasy broth, and let my boy be.’

Mr. Spratt’s small eyes flashed, and he was in danger of uttering sentiments not unexceptionable before the clergyman; but Mr. Barton, foreseeing that a prolongation of this episode would not be to edification, said ‘Silence!’ in his severest tones.

Mr. Spratt’s tiny eyes gleamed, and he was on the verge of saying something inappropriate in front of the clergyman; but Mr. Barton, recognizing that dragging this out wouldn’t be helpful, said "Silence!" in his sternest tone.

‘Let me hear no abuse. Your boy is not likely to behave well, if you set him the example of being saucy.’ Then stooping down to Master Fodge, and taking him by the shoulder, ‘Do you like being beaten?’

‘Let me hear no insults. Your boy isn’t likely to behave well if you’re setting him the example of being disrespectful.’ Then bending down to Master Fodge and taking him by the shoulder, ‘Do you like being punished?’

‘No-a.’

'Nope.'

‘Then what a silly boy you are to be naughty. If you were not naughty, you wouldn’t be beaten. But if you are naughty, God will be angry, as well as Mr. Spratt; and God can burn you for ever. That will be worse than being beaten.’

‘Then what a silly boy you are for being naughty. If you weren’t naughty, you wouldn’t get punished. But if you are naughty, God will be angry, just like Mr. Spratt; and God can condemn you forever. That would be worse than getting beaten.’

Master Fodge’s countenance was neither affirmative nor negative of this proposition.

Master Fodge’s expression was neither a yes nor a no to this suggestion.

‘But,’ continued Mr. Barton, ‘if you will be a good boy, God will love you, and you will grow up to be a good man. Now, let me hear next Thursday that you have been a good boy.’

‘But,’ continued Mr. Barton, ‘if you’re a good boy, God will love you, and you’ll grow up to be a good man. Now, make sure to tell me next Thursday that you’ve been a good boy.’

Master Fodge had no distinct vision of the benefit that would accrue to him from this change of courses. But Mr. Barton, being aware that Miss Fodge had touched on a delicate subject in alluding to the roast goose, was determined to witness no more polemics between her and Mr. Spratt, so, saying good morning to the latter, he hastily left the College.

Master Fodge had no clear idea of the advantages that would come from this change of direction. But Mr. Barton, knowing that Miss Fodge had brought up a sensitive topic by mentioning the roast goose, was determined to avoid any more arguments between her and Mr. Spratt, so after saying good morning to the latter, he quickly left the College.

The snow was falling in thicker and thicker flakes, and already the vicarage-garden was cloaked in white as he passed through the gate. Mrs. Barton heard him open the door, and ran out of the sitting-room to meet him.

The snow was falling in bigger and bigger flakes, and already the vicarage garden was covered in white as he walked through the gate. Mrs. Barton heard him opening the door and rushed out of the living room to greet him.

‘I’m afraid your feet are very wet, dear. What a terrible morning! Let me take your hat. Your slippers are at the fire.’

‘I’m afraid your feet are really wet, dear. What a horrible morning! Let me take your hat. Your slippers are by the fire.’

Mr. Barton was feeling a little cold and cross. It is difficult, when you have been doing disagreeable duties, without praise, on a snowy day, to attend to the very minor morals. So he showed no recognition of Milly’s attentions, but simply said, ‘Fetch me my dressing-gown, will you?’

Mr. Barton was feeling a bit chilly and grumpy. It’s tough to focus on small moral issues when you've been handling unpleasant tasks without any appreciation on a snowy day. So he didn’t acknowledge Milly’s efforts at all and just said, ‘Can you get me my dressing gown?’

‘It is down, dear. I thought you wouldn’t go into the study, because you said you would letter and number the books for the Lending Library. Patty and I have been covering them, and they are all ready in the sitting-room.’

‘It’s done, dear. I thought you wouldn’t go into the study because you said you were going to label and number the books for the Lending Library. Patty and I have been covering them, and they’re all ready in the living room.’

‘Oh, I can’t do those this morning,’ said Mr. Barton, as he took off his boots and put his feet into the slippers Milly had brought him; ‘you must put them away into the parlour.’

‘Oh, I can’t do those this morning,’ said Mr. Barton, as he took off his boots and slipped his feet into the slippers Milly had brought him; ‘you need to put them away in the parlor.’

The sitting-room was also the day nursery and schoolroom; and while Mamma’s back was turned, Dickey, the second boy, had insisted on superseding Chubby in the guidance of a headless horse, of the red-wafered species, which she was drawing round the room, so that when Papa opened the door Chubby was giving tongue energetically.

The living room was also the playroom and classroom; and while Mom's back was turned, Dickey, the second boy, had insisted on taking over from Chubby in leading a headless horse, of the red-wafer variety, which she was pulling around the room, so that when Dad opened the door, Chubby was barking loudly.

‘Milly, some of these children must go away. I want to be quiet.’

‘Milly, some of these kids need to leave. I want some peace and quiet.’

‘Yes, dear. Hush, Chubby; go with Patty, and see what Nanny is getting for our dinner. Now, Fred and Sophy and Dickey, help me to carry these books into the parlour. There are three for Dickey. Carry them steadily.’

‘Yes, dear. Quiet down, Chubby; go with Patty and check what Nanny is making for our dinner. Now, Fred, Sophy, and Dickey, help me carry these books into the living room. There are three for Dickey. Carry them carefully.’

Papa meanwhile settled himself in his easy-chair, and took up a work on Episcopacy, which he had from the Clerical Book Society; thinking he would finish it and return it this afternoon, as he was going to the Clerical Meeting at Milby Vicarage, where the Book Society had its headquarters.

Papa, in the meantime, got comfortable in his armchair and picked up a book on Episcopacy that he had borrowed from the Clerical Book Society. He planned to finish it and return it that afternoon since he was heading to the Clerical Meeting at Milby Vicarage, where the Book Society was based.

The Clerical Meetings and Book Society, which had been founded some eight or ten months, had had a noticeable effect on the Rev. Amos Barton. When he first came to Shepperton he was simply an evangelical clergyman, whose Christian experiences had commenced under the teaching of the Rev. Mr. Johns, of Gun Street Chapel, and had been consolidated at Cambridge under the influence of Mr. Simeon. John Newton and Thomas Scott were his doctrinal ideals; he would have taken in the “Christian Observer” and the “Record,” if he could have afforded it; his anecdotes were chiefly of the pious-jocose kind, current in dissenting circles; and he thought an Episcopalian Establishment unobjectionable.

The Clerical Meetings and Book Society, which had been established about eight or ten months ago, had noticeably influenced Rev. Amos Barton. When he first arrived in Shepperton, he was just an evangelical clergyman, with his Christian journey beginning under the instruction of Rev. Mr. Johns from Gun Street Chapel, and further shaped at Cambridge by Mr. Simeon. John Newton and Thomas Scott were his doctrinal role models; he would have subscribed to the “Christian Observer” and the “Record” if he could have afforded it. His stories mainly came from the light-hearted and pious anecdotes popular in dissenting communities; he also found nothing wrong with the Episcopal Church.

But by this time the effect of the Tractarian agitation was beginning to be felt in backward provincial regions, and the Tractarian satire on the Low-Church party was beginning to tell even on those who disavowed or resisted Tractarian doctrines. The vibration of an intellectual movement was felt from the golden head to the miry toes of the Establishment; and so it came to pass that, in the district round Milby, the market-town close to Shepperton, the clergy had agreed to have a clerical meeting every month, wherein they would exercise their intellects by discussing theological and ecclesiastical questions, and cement their brotherly love by discussing a good dinner. A Book Society naturally suggested itself as an adjunct of this agreeable plan; and thus, you perceive, there was provision made for ample friction of the clerical mind.

But by this time, the impact of the Tractarian movement was starting to be felt in less progressive areas, and the Tractarian criticism of the Low-Church party was starting to resonate even with those who rejected or opposed Tractarian beliefs. The ripple of an intellectual movement could be felt throughout the Establishment, from its most revered members to its least esteemed. Consequently, in the area around Milby, the market town near Shepperton, the clergy decided to hold a monthly clerical meeting, where they would engage their minds by discussing theological and church-related topics and strengthen their camaraderie over a nice dinner. A Book Society naturally emerged as a complement to this enjoyable plan; thus, as you can see, there was a solid arrangement for plenty of stimulating discussions among the clergy.

Now, the Rev. Amos Barton was one of those men who have a decided will and opinion of their own; he held himself bolt upright, and had no self-distrust. He would march very determinedly along the road he thought best; but then it was wonderfully easy to convince him which was the best road. And so a very little unwonted reading and unwonted discussion made him see that an Episcopalian Establishment was much more than unobjectionable, and on many other points he began to feel that he held opinions a little too far-sighted and profound to be crudely and suddenly communicated to ordinary minds. He was like an onion that has been rubbed with spices; the strong original odour was blended with something new and foreign. The Low-Church onion still offended refined High Church nostrils, and the new spice was unwelcome to the palate of the genuine onion-eater.

Now, Rev. Amos Barton was one of those people who had a strong will and their own opinions; he carried himself straight and had no self-doubt. He would confidently walk down the path he believed was best, but it was surprisingly easy to persuade him about which path that actually was. Just a bit of unusual reading and unexpected discussion made him realize that an Episcopalian Establishment was far more acceptable than he had initially thought, and on various other issues, he started to feel that his views were a bit too sophisticated and deep to share with regular folks. He was like an onion that had been seasoned with spices; the strong original smell mixed with something new and foreign. The Low-Church onion still irritated the refined noses of the High Church, and the new spice was unwelcome to the taste of the true onion eater.

We will not accompany him to the Clerical Meeting to-day, because we shall probably want to go thither some day when he will be absent. And just now I am bent on introducing you to Mr. Bridmain and the Countess Czerlaski, with whom Mr. and Mrs. Barton are invited to dine to-morrow.

We won’t go with him to the Clerical Meeting today because we might want to go there another time when he’s not around. Right now, I’m focused on introducing you to Mr. Bridmain and the Countess Czerlaski, who Mr. and Mrs. Barton are having dinner with tomorrow.

Chapter 3

Outside, the moon is shedding its cold light on the cold snow, and the white-bearded fir-trees round Camp Villa are casting a blue shadow across the white ground, while the Rev. Amos Barton and his wife are audibly crushing the crisp snow beneath their feet, as, about seven o’clock on Friday evening, they approach the door of the above-named desirable country residence, containing dining, breakfast, and drawing rooms, etc., situated only half a mile from the market-town of Milby.

Outside, the moon is casting its cold light on the snowy ground, and the white-bearded fir trees around Camp Villa are creating a blue shadow on the white surface. Meanwhile, Rev. Amos Barton and his wife can be heard crunching the crisp snow beneath their feet as they make their way to the door of the aforementioned charming country house, which includes dining, breakfast, and drawing rooms, and is located just half a mile from the market town of Milby.

Inside, there is a bright fire in the drawing-room, casting a pleasant but uncertain light on the delicate silk dress of a lady who is reclining behind a screen in the corner of the sofa, and allowing you to discern that the hair of the gentleman who is seated in the arm-chair opposite, with a newspaper over his knees, is becoming decidedly grey. A little ‘King Charles’, with a crimson ribbon round his neck, who has been lying curled up in the very middle of the hearth-rug, has just discovered that that zone is too hot for him, and is jumping on the sofa, evidently with the intention of accommodating his person on the silk gown. On the table there are two wax-candles, which will be lighted as soon as the expected knock is heard at the door.

Inside, there’s a bright fire in the living room, casting a nice but uncertain light on the delicate silk dress of a lady reclining behind a screen in the corner of the sofa. It also lets you see that the hair of the gentleman seated in the armchair opposite, with a newspaper over his knees, is noticeably turning grey. A little King Charles spaniel, wearing a crimson ribbon around his neck, has just realized that the spot in the middle of the hearth rug is too hot for him and is now jumping onto the sofa, clearly planning to settle on the silk gown. On the table, there are two wax candles that will be lit as soon as the expected knock is heard at the door.

The knock is heard, the candles are lighted, and presently Mr. and Mrs. Barton are ushered in—Mr. Barton erect and clerical, in a faultless tie and shining cranium; Mrs. Barton graceful in a newly-turned black silk.

The knock is heard, the candles are lit, and soon Mr. and Mrs. Barton are brought in—Mr. Barton standing tall and looking professional, in a perfect tie and shiny bald head; Mrs. Barton looking elegant in a freshly made black silk dress.

‘Now this is charming of you,’ said the Countess Czerlaski, advancing to meet them, and embracing Milly with careful elegance. ‘I am really ashamed of my selfishness in asking my friends to come and see me in this frightful weather.’ Then, giving her hand to Amos, ‘And you, Mr. Barton, whose time is so precious! But I am doing a good deed in drawing you away from your labours. I have a plot to prevent you from martyrizing yourself.’

‘This is so lovely of you,’ said Countess Czerlaski, stepping forward to greet them and hugging Milly with graceful care. ‘I truly feel guilty for my selfishness in inviting my friends to visit me in this horrible weather.’ Then, extending her hand to Amos, ‘And you, Mr. Barton, whose time is so valuable! But I’m doing a good thing by pulling you away from your work. I have a plan to stop you from wearing yourself out.’

While this greeting was going forward, Mr. Bridmain, and Jet the spaniel, looked on with the air of actors who had no idea of by-play. Mr. Bridmain, a stiff and rather thick-set man, gave his welcome with a laboured cordiality. It was astonishing how very little he resembled his beautiful sister.

While this greeting was happening, Mr. Bridmain and Jet the spaniel watched on like actors who didn’t know what to do in the background. Mr. Bridmain, a formal and somewhat stocky man, offered his welcome with forced enthusiasm. It was amazing how little he looked like his stunning sister.

For the Countess Czerlaski was undeniably beautiful. As she seated herself by Mrs. Barton on the sofa, Milly’s eyes, indeed, rested—must it be confessed?—chiefly on the details of the tasteful dress, the rich silk of a pinkish lilac hue (the Countess always wore delicate colours in an evening), the black lace pelerine, and the black lace veil falling at the back of the small closely-braided head. For Milly had one weakness—don’t love her any the less for it, it was a pretty woman’s weakness—she was fond of dress; and often, when she was making up her own economical millinery, she had romantic visions how nice it would be to put on really handsome stylish things—to have very stiff balloon sleeves, for example, without which a woman’s dress was nought in those days. You and I, too, reader, have our weakness, have we not? which makes us think foolish things now and then. Perhaps it may lie in an excessive admiration for small hands and feet, a tall lithe figure, large dark eyes, and dark silken braided hair. All these the Countess possessed, and she had, moreover, a delicately-formed nose, the least bit curved, and a clear brunette complexion. Her mouth it must be admitted, receded too much from her nose and chin and to a prophetic eye threatened ‘nut-crackers’ in advanced age. But by the light of fire and wax candles that age seemed very far off indeed, and you would have said that the Countess was not more than thirty.

For Countess Czerlaski was undeniably beautiful. As she sat down next to Mrs. Barton on the sofa, Milly’s gaze, it must be admitted, lingered mainly on the details of the elegant dress, the luxurious silk in a pinkish lilac shade (the Countess always wore soft colors in the evening), the black lace shawl, and the black lace veil cascading from the back of her small, tightly braided hair. Milly had one weakness—don’t love her less for it; it was a pretty woman’s weakness—she loved fashion; and often, while she was creating her own budget-friendly hats, she fantasized about how lovely it would be to wear truly stylish pieces—to have very dramatic puffed sleeves, for instance, without which a woman’s dress meant nothing in those days. You and I, too, reader, have our flaws, don’t we? That sometimes lead us to think silly thoughts. Perhaps it’s an excessive admiration for small hands and feet, a tall, graceful figure, large dark eyes, and dark silken braided hair. The Countess had all of these, plus a finely shaped nose, a slight curve to it, and a clear brunette complexion. It must be noted, however, that her mouth receded a bit too much from her nose and chin and, to a discerning eye, threatened ‘nut-crackers’ in later life. But by the glow of the fire and candlelight, that age seemed very distant, and you would have said the Countess was no more than thirty.

Look at the two women on the sofa together! The large, fair, mild-eyed Milly is timid even in friendship: it is not easy to her to speak of the affection of which her heart is full. The lithe, dark, thin-lipped Countess is racking her small brain for caressing words and charming exaggerations.

Look at the two women sitting on the couch together! The big, light-skinned, gentle-eyed Milly is shy even in friendship: it’s hard for her to talk about the love that fills her heart. The slender, dark-haired, thin-lipped Countess is trying hard to think of sweet words and flattering exaggerations.

‘And how are all the cherubs at home?’ said the Countess, stooping to pick up Jet, and without waiting for an answer. ‘I have been kept in-doors by a cold ever since Sunday, or I should not have rested without seeing you. What have you done with those wretched singers, Mr. Barton?’

‘And how are all the little angels at home?’ said the Countess, bending down to pick up Jet, without waiting for a reply. ‘I’ve been stuck indoors with a cold since Sunday, or I wouldn’t have rested without seeing you. What have you done with those terrible singers, Mr. Barton?’

‘O, we have got a new choir together, which will go on very well with a little practice. I was quite determined that the old set of singers should be dismissed. I had given orders that they should not sing the wedding psalm, as they call it, again, to make a new-married couple look ridiculous, and they sang it in defiance of me. I could put them into the Ecclesiastical Court, if I chose for to do so, for lifting up their voices in church in opposition to the clergyman.’

‘Oh, we’ve formed a new choir, and it will do really well with a bit of practice. I was firm about getting rid of the old singers. I instructed that they shouldn’t perform the wedding psalm, as they call it, again, to avoid making recently married couples look foolish, but they went ahead and sang it anyway. I could take them to the Ecclesiastical Court if I wanted, for singing in church against the clergyman’s wishes.’

‘And a most wholesome discipline that would be,’ said the Countess, ‘indeed, you are too patient and forbearing, Mr. Barton. For my part, I lose my temper when I see how far you are from being appreciated in that miserable Shepperton.’

‘And that would be a really healthy approach,’ said the Countess, ‘truly, you are too patient and tolerant, Mr. Barton. As for me, I lose my temper when I see how unappreciated you are in that miserable Shepperton.’

If, as is probable, Mr. Barton felt at a loss what to say in reply to the insinuated compliment, it was a relief to him that dinner was announced just then, and that he had to offer his arm to the Countess.

If, as seemed likely, Mr. Barton didn’t know how to respond to the implied compliment, he felt relieved when dinner was announced at that moment, and he had to offer his arm to the Countess.

As Mr. Bridmain was leading Mrs. Barton to the dining-room, he observed, ‘The weather is very severe.’

As Mr. Bridmain was taking Mrs. Barton to the dining room, he noted, “The weather is pretty harsh.”

‘Very, indeed,’ said Milly.

"Absolutely," said Milly.

Mr. Bridmain studied conversation as an art. To ladies he spoke of the weather, and was accustomed to consider it under three points of view: as a question of climate in general, comparing England with other countries in this respect; as a personal question, inquiring how it affected his lady interlocutor in particular; and as a question of probabilities, discussing whether there would be a change or a continuance of the present atmospheric conditions. To gentlemen he talked politics, and he read two daily papers expressly to qualify himself for this function. Mr. Barton thought him a man of considerable political information, but not of lively parts.

Mr. Bridmain saw conversation as an art. With ladies, he talked about the weather and usually approached it from three angles: as a general climate issue, comparing England with other countries; as a personal matter, asking how it affected the lady he was speaking to; and as a matter of probabilities, discussing whether the weather would change or stay the same. With gentlemen, he discussed politics and read two daily newspapers specifically to prepare for this. Mr. Barton believed him to be fairly knowledgeable about politics but not particularly lively.

‘And so you are always to hold your Clerical Meetings at Mr. Ely’s?’ said the Countess, between her spoonfuls of soup. (The soup was a little over-spiced. Mrs. Short of Camp Villa, who was in the habit of letting her best apartments, gave only moderate wages to her cook.)

‘So, you’re always going to have your Clerical Meetings at Mr. Ely’s?’ the Countess asked, between spoonfuls of soup. (The soup was a bit too spicy. Mrs. Short of Camp Villa, who usually rented out her best apartments, paid her cook only moderate wages.)

‘Yes,’ said Mr. Barton; ‘Milby is a central place, and there are many conveniences in having only one point of meeting.’

‘Yes,’ said Mr. Barton; ‘Milby is a central location, and there are many advantages to having just one meeting point.’

‘Well,’ continued the Countess, ‘every one seems to agree in giving the precedence to Mr. Ely. For my part, I cannot admire him. His preaching is too cold for me. It has no fervour—no heart. I often say to my brother, it is a great comfort to me that Shepperton Church is not too far off for us to go to; don’t I, Edmund?’

‘Well,’ continued the Countess, ‘everyone seems to agree that Mr. Ely should take the lead. For my part, I can’t admire him. His preaching is too cold for me. It lacks passion—no heart. I often tell my brother that it's a great comfort that Shepperton Church isn't too far for us to attend; isn’t that right, Edmund?’

‘Yes,’ answered Mr. Bridmain; ‘they show us into such a bad pew at Milby—just where there is a draught from that door. I caught a stiff neck the first time I went there.’

‘Yes,’ replied Mr. Bridmain; ‘they put us in such a terrible pew at Milby—right where there’s a draft from that door. I got a stiff neck the first time I went there.’

‘O, it is the cold in the pulpit that affects me, not the cold in the pew. I was writing to my friend Lady Porter this morning, and telling her all about my feelings. She and I think alike on such matters. She is most anxious that when Sir William has an opportunity of giving away the living at their place, Dippley, they should have a thoroughly zealous clever man there. I have been describing a certain friend of mine to her, who, I think, would be just to her mind. And there is such a pretty rectory, Milly; shouldn’t I like to see you the mistress of it?’

‘Oh, it’s the cold in the pulpit that bothers me, not the cold in the pew. I was writing to my friend Lady Porter this morning, sharing all my thoughts and feelings. We see eye to eye on these things. She’s really concerned that when Sir William has a chance to appoint someone to the living at their place, Dippley, they should have a totally dedicated and smart person there. I’ve been telling her about a certain friend of mine who, I think, would be just right for the job. And there’s such a lovely rectory, Milly; wouldn’t it be nice to see you in charge of it?’

Milly smiled and blushed slightly. The Rev. Amos blushed very red, and gave a little embarrassed laugh—he could rarely keep his muscles within the limits of a smile. At this moment John, the man-servant, approached Mrs. Barton with a gravy-tureen, and also with a slight odour of the stable, which usually adhered to him through his in-door functions. John was rather nervous; and the Countess happening to speak to him at this inopportune moment, the tureen slipped and emptied itself on Mrs. Barton’s newly-turned black silk.

Milly smiled and blushed a little. Rev. Amos turned bright red and let out a nervous laugh—he often struggled to control his facial expressions. Just then, John, the servant, walked over to Mrs. Barton with a gravy boat, bringing with him a faint smell of the stable that usually lingered on him during his indoor duties. John was feeling pretty anxious, and when the Countess addressed him at that awkward moment, he accidentally tipped the boat, spilling gravy all over Mrs. Barton’s freshly polished black silk.

‘O, horror! Tell Alice to come directly and rub Mrs. Barton’s dress,’ said the Countess to the trembling John, carefully abstaining from approaching the gravy-sprinkled spot on the floor with her own lilac silk. But Mr. Bridmain, who had a strictly private interest in silks, good-naturedly jumped up and applied his napkin at once to Mrs. Barton’s gown.

‘Oh no! Tell Alice to come right away and clean Mrs. Barton’s dress,’ said the Countess to the nervous John, making sure not to get near the gravy-stained spot on the floor with her own lilac silk. But Mr. Bridmain, who had a personal interest in silks, kindly jumped up and immediately used his napkin on Mrs. Barton’s gown.

Milly felt a little inward anguish, but no ill-temper, and tried to make light of the matter for the sake of John as well as others. The Countess felt inwardly thankful that her own delicate silk had escaped, but threw out lavish interjections of distress and indignation.

Milly felt a bit of inner pain, but no bad mood, and tried to downplay the situation for John and everyone else. The Countess felt secretly relieved that her fine silk had been spared, yet she displayed exaggerated expressions of distress and outrage.

‘Dear saint that you are,’ she said, when Milly laughed, and suggested that, as her silk was not very glossy to begin with, the dim patch would not be much seen; ‘you don’t mind about these things, I know. Just the same sort of thing happened to me at the Princess Wengstein’s one day, on a pink satin. I was in an agony. But you are so indifferent to dress; and well you may be. It is you who make dress pretty, and not dress that makes you pretty.’

‘Dear saint that you are,’ she said, when Milly laughed and suggested that, since her silk wasn’t very shiny to begin with, the dull spot wouldn’t be too noticeable; ‘you don’t care about these things, I know. The same kind of thing happened to me at Princess Wengstein’s one day, with a pink satin dress. I was in agony. But you’re so laid-back about clothing; and rightly so. It’s you who make clothing look good, not the clothing that makes you look good.’

Alice, the buxom lady’s-maid, wearing a much better dress than Mrs. Barton’s, now appeared to take Mr. Bridmain’s place in retrieving the mischief, and after a great amount of supplementary rubbing, composure was restored, and the business of dining was continued. When John was recounting his accident to the cook in the kitchen, he observed, ‘Mrs. Barton’s a hamable woman; I’d a deal sooner ha’ throwed the gravy o’er the Countess’s fine gownd. But laws! what tantrums she’d ha’ been in arter the visitors was gone.’

Alice, the curvy maid, wearing a much nicer dress than Mrs. Barton's, stepped in for Mr. Bridmain to fix the mess. After a lot of extra rubbing, everything was settled, and they continued with dinner. While John was telling the cook about his accident in the kitchen, he said, "Mrs. Barton's a difficult woman; I'd much rather have spilled the gravy on the Countess's fancy gown. But wow! The fuss she would have made after the guests left."

‘You’d a deal sooner not ha’ throwed it down at all, I should think,’ responded the unsympathetic cook, to whom John did not make love. ‘Who d’you think’s to mek gravy anuff, if you’re to baste people’s gownds wi’ it?’

‘You’d be much better off not throwing it down at all, I think,’ responded the unsympathetic cook, to whom John did not show any affection. ‘Who do you think is going to make enough gravy if you’re basting people’s gowns with it?’

‘Well,’ suggested John, humbly, ‘you should wet the bottom of the duree a bit, to hold it from slippin’.’

‘Well,’ suggested John, humbly, ‘you should wet the bottom of the duree a bit, to keep it from slipping.’

‘Wet your granny!’ returned the cook; a retort which she probably regarded in the light of a reductio ad absurdum, and which in fact reduced John to silence.

‘Wet your grandma!’ the cook shot back; a comeback she likely saw as a reductio ad absurdum, and it definitely left John speechless.

Later on in the evening, while John was removing the tea things from the drawing-room, and brushing the crumbs from the table-cloth with an accompanying hiss, such as he was wont to encourage himself with in rubbing down Mr. Bridmain’s horse, the Rev. Amos Barton drew from his pocket a thin green-covered pamphlet, and, presenting it to the Countess, said,—‘You were pleased, I think, with my sermon on Christmas Day. It has been printed in “The Pulpit,” and I thought you might like a copy.’

Later that evening, while John was clearing the tea items from the drawing room and brushing crumbs off the tablecloth with a hissing sound, much like he used to make while grooming Mr. Bridmain’s horse, Rev. Amos Barton pulled a thin green-covered pamphlet out of his pocket and handed it to the Countess, saying, “I believe you enjoyed my sermon on Christmas Day. It was published in 'The Pulpit,' and I thought you might like a copy.”

‘That indeed I shall. I shall quite value the opportunity of reading that sermon. There was such depth in it!—such argument! It was not a sermon to be heard only once. I am delighted that it should become generally known, as it will be now it is printed in “The Pulpit.”’

‘That I certainly will. I really value the chance to read that sermon. There was so much depth in it!—so much argument! It wasn’t a sermon to be heard just once. I’m thrilled that it will be widely known now that it’s printed in “The Pulpit.”’

‘Yes,’ said Milly, innocently, ‘I was so pleased with the editor’s letter.’ And she drew out her little pocket-book, where she carefully treasured the editorial autograph, while Mr. Barton laughed and blushed, and said, ‘Nonsense, Milly!’

‘Yes,’ said Milly, innocently, ‘I was so pleased with the editor’s letter.’ And she pulled out her small wallet, where she carefully kept the editor’s signature, while Mr. Barton laughed and blushed, and said, ‘Nonsense, Milly!’

‘You see,’ she said, giving the letter to the Countess, ‘I am very proud of the praise my husband gets.’

‘You see,’ she said, handing the letter to the Countess, ‘I’m really proud of the recognition my husband receives.’

The sermon in question, by the by, was an extremely argumentative one on the Incarnation; which, as it was preached to a congregation not one of whom had any doubt of that doctrine, and to whom the Socinians therein confuted were as unknown as the Arimaspians, was exceedingly well adapted to trouble and confuse the Sheppertonian mind.

The sermon in question was quite argumentative about the Incarnation; since it was delivered to a congregation that had no doubts about that doctrine, and to whom the Socinians being refuted were as unfamiliar as the Arimaspians, it was very effective at troubling and confusing the Sheppertonian mindset.

‘Ah,’ said the Countess, returning the editor’s letter, ‘he may well say he will be glad of other sermons from the same source. But I would rather you should publish your sermons in an independent volume, Mr. Barton; it would be so desirable to have them in that shape. For instance, I could send a copy to the Dean of Radborough. And there is Lord Blarney, whom I knew before he was chancellor. I was a special favourite of his, and you can’t think what sweet things he used to say to me. I shall not resist the temptation to write to him one of these days sans façon, and tell him how he ought to dispose of the next vacant living in his gift.’

‘Ah,’ said the Countess, handing back the editor’s letter, ‘he might say he’d be happy to receive more sermons from the same writer. But I’d prefer you publish your sermons in a separate book, Mr. Barton; it would be so nice to have them that way. For example, I could send a copy to the Dean of Radborough. And there’s Lord Blarney, whom I knew before he became chancellor. I was one of his special favorites, and you wouldn’t believe the lovely things he used to say to me. I won’t be able to resist the urge to write to him one of these days sans façon, and let him know how he should handle the next vacant position in his gift.’

Whether Jet the spaniel, being a much more knowing dog than was suspected, wished to express his disapproval of the Countess’s last speech, as not accordant with his ideas of wisdom and veracity, I cannot say; but at this moment he jumped off her lap, and, turning his back upon her, placed one paw on the fender, and held the other up to warm, as if affecting to abstract himself from the current of conversation.

Whether Jet the spaniel, being a much smarter dog than anyone realized, wanted to show his disapproval of the Countess’s last comment, thinking it didn't align with his ideas of wisdom and honesty, I can't say; but at this moment, he jumped off her lap, turned his back on her, put one paw on the fender, and held the other up to warm, as if he were trying to ignore the conversation.

But now Mr. Bridmain brought out the chess-board, and Mr. Barton accepted his challenge to play a game, with immense satisfaction. The Rev. Amos was very fond of chess, as most people are who can continue through many years to create interesting vicissitudes in the game, by taking long-meditated moves with their knights, and subsequently discovering that they have thereby exposed their queen.

But now Mr. Bridmain took out the chessboard, and Mr. Barton happily accepted his challenge to play a game. The Rev. Amos loved chess, like most people who can keep up with it for many years, making interesting moves by carefully planning their knight placements, only to later realize that they’ve left their queen vulnerable.

Chess is a silent game; and the Countess’s chat with Milly is in quite an under-tone—probably relating to women’s matters that it would be impertinent for us to listen to; so we will leave Camp Villa, and proceed to Milby Vicarage, where Mr. Farquhar has sat out two other guests with whom he has been dining at Mr. Ely’s, and is now rather wearying that reverend gentleman by his protracted small-talk.

Chess is a quiet game, and the Countess's conversation with Milly is in a low voice—likely about women’s issues that it would be rude for us to overhear. So, let's leave Camp Villa and head to Milby Vicarage, where Mr. Farquhar has already seen off two other guests he was dining with at Mr. Ely's and is now somewhat tiring out that clergyman with his endless chit-chat.

Mr. Ely was a tall, dark-haired, distinguished-looking man of three-and-thirty. By the laity of Milby and its neighbourhood he was regarded as a man of quite remarkable powers and learning, who must make a considerable sensation in London pulpits and drawing-rooms on his occasional visit to the metropolis; and by his brother clergy he was regarded as a discreet and agreeable fellow. Mr. Ely never got into a warm discussion; he suggested what might be thought, but rarely said what he thought himself; he never let either men or women see that he was laughing at them, and he never gave any one an opportunity of laughing at him. In one thing only he was injudicious. He parted his dark wavy hair down the middle; and as his head was rather flat than otherwise, that style of coiffure was not advantageous to him.

Mr. Ely was a tall, dark-haired, distinguished-looking man in his thirties. The people of Milby and the surrounding area viewed him as a person of exceptional skill and knowledge, someone who would definitely make a significant impact in London’s churches and social circles during his occasional visits to the city. His fellow clergy saw him as a sensible and likable guy. Mr. Ely never got into heated debates; he would suggest ideas people might consider, but rarely expressed his own opinions outright. He never let anyone see that he was mocking them, nor did he give anyone a chance to mock him. He had one flaw, though. He parted his dark wavy hair down the middle, and since his head was more flat than rounded, that hairstyle didn’t do him any favors.

Mr. Farquhar, though not a parishioner of Mr. Ely’s, was one of his warmest admirers, and thought he would make an unexceptionable son-in-law, in spite of his being of no particular ‘family’. Mr. Farquhar was susceptible on the point of ‘blood’—his own circulating fluid, which animated a short and somewhat flabby person, being, he considered, of very superior quality.

Mr. Farquhar, although not a member of Mr. Ely's parish, was one of his biggest fans and believed he would be a great son-in-law, even though he came from no notable 'family.' Mr. Farquhar had strong feelings about 'blood'—his own blood, which flowed through his short and somewhat flabby body, was, in his opinion, of much better quality.

‘By the by,’ he said, with a certain pomposity counteracted by a lisp, ‘what an ath Barton makth of himthelf, about that Bridmain and the Counteth, ath she callth herthelf. After you were gone the other evening, Mithith Farquhar wath telling him the general opinion about them in the neighbourhood, and he got quite red and angry. Bleth your thoul, he believth the whole thtory about her Polish huthband and hith wonderful ethcapeth; and ath for her—why, he thinkth her perfection, a woman of motht refined feelingth, and no end of thtuff.’

“By the way,” he said, with a bit of pomp that was softened by a lisp, “what an act Barton makes of himself regarding that Bridmain and the Countess, as she calls herself. After you left the other evening, Miss Farquhar was telling him the general opinion about them in the neighborhood, and he got really red and angry. Bless your soul, he believes the whole story about her Polish husband and his wonderful escapes; and as for her—well, he thinks she’s perfect, a woman of the most refined feelings, and all that stuff.”

Mr. Ely smiled. ‘Some people would say our friend Barton was not the best judge of refinement. Perhaps the lady flatters him a little, and we men are susceptible. She goes to Shepperton Church every Sunday—drawn there, let us suppose, by Mr. Barton’s eloquence.’

Mr. Ely smiled. ‘Some people might say our friend Barton isn’t the best at spotting refinement. Maybe the lady flatters him a bit, and we guys are pretty susceptible. She goes to Shepperton Church every Sunday—let’s assume that’s because of Mr. Barton’s charisma.’

‘Pshaw,’ said Mr. Farquhar: ‘Now, to my mind, you have only to look at that woman to thee what she ith—throwing her eyth about when she comth into church, and drething in a way to attract attention. I should thay, she’th tired of her brother Bridmain, and looking out for another brother with a thtronger family likeneth. Mithith Farquhar ith very fond of Mithith Barton, and ith quite dithtrethed that she should athothiate with thuch a woman, tho she attacked him on the thubject purpothly. But I tell her it’th of no uthe, with a pig-headed fellow like him. Barton’th well-meaning enough, but tho contheited. I’ve left off giving him my advithe.’

‘Pshaw,’ said Mr. Farquhar. ‘To me, all you have to do is look at that woman to see what she is—throwing her eyes around when she comes into church, and dressing in a way that grabs attention. I would say she’s tired of her brother Bridmain and is fishing for another brother with a stronger family resemblance. Mrs. Farquhar is very fond of Mrs. Barton, and she’s quite distressed that she would associate with such a woman, so she confronted him about it on purpose. But I tell her it’s no use with a pig-headed guy like him. Barton’s well-meaning enough, but he’s so conceited. I’ve stopped giving him my advice.’

Mr. Ely smiled inwardly and said to himself, ‘What a punishment!’ But to Mr. Farquhar he said, ‘Barton might be more judicious, it must be confessed.’ He was getting tired, and did not want to develop the subject.

Mr. Ely smiled to himself and thought, ‘What a punishment!’ But to Mr. Farquhar, he said, ‘Barton could be more careful, it has to be said.’ He was getting tired and didn’t want to discuss it further.

‘Why, nobody vithit-th them but the Bartonth,’ continued Mr. Farquhar, ‘and why should thuch people come here, unleth they had particular reathonth for preferring a neighbourhood where they are not known? Pooh! it lookth bad on the very fathe of it. You called on them, now; how did you find them?’

‘Why, nobody visits them but the Bartons,’ continued Mr. Farquhar, ‘and why would such people come here unless they had specific reasons for choosing a neighborhood where they aren’t known? Pooh! It looks bad on the surface. You called on them, right? How did you find them?’

‘O!—Mr. Bridmain strikes me as a common sort of man, who is making an effort to seem wise and well-bred. He comes down on one tremendously with political information, and seems knowing about the king of the French. The Countess is certainly a handsome woman, but she puts on the grand air a little too powerfully. Woodcock was immensely taken with her, and insisted on his wife’s calling on her and asking her to dinner; but I think Mrs. Woodcock turned restive after the first visit, and wouldn’t invite her again.’

‘Oh! Mr. Bridmain seems like an average guy who's trying hard to appear smart and sophisticated. He bombards you with political facts and acts like he knows everything about the king of France. The Countess is definitely an attractive woman, but she tries a bit too hard to impress. Woodcock was really impressed by her and pushed his wife to reach out and invite her to dinner; however, I think Mrs. Woodcock got uncomfortable after the first visit and didn’t want to invite her again.’

‘Ha, ha! Woodcock hath alwayth a thoft place in hith heart for a pretty fathe. It’th odd how he came to marry that plain woman, and no fortune either.’

‘Ha, ha! Woodcock always has a soft spot in his heart for a pretty face. It’s strange how he ended up marrying that plain woman, and she doesn’t have any money either.’

‘Mysteries of the tender passion,’ said Mr. Ely. ‘I am not initiated yet, you know.’

‘Mysteries of the tender passion,’ said Mr. Ely. ‘I’m not in the loop yet, you know.’

Here Mr. Farquhar’s carriage was announced, and as we have not found his conversation particularly brilliant under the stimulus of Mr. Ely’s exceptional presence, we will not accompany him home to the less exciting atmosphere of domestic life.

Here Mr. Farquhar's carriage was announced, and since we haven't found his conversation particularly impressive with Mr. Ely's exceptional presence, we won't follow him home to the more mundane atmosphere of everyday life.

Mr. Ely threw himself with a sense of relief into his easiest chair, set his feet on the hobs, and in this attitude of bachelor enjoyment began to read Bishop Jebb’s Memoirs.

Mr. Ely sank into his most comfortable chair with a feeling of relief, propped his feet up on the hobs, and in this relaxed state of single-life enjoyment, started reading Bishop Jebb’s Memoirs.

Chapter 4

I am by no means sure that if the good people of Milby had known the truth about the Countess Czerlaski, they would not have been considerably disappointed to find that it was very far from being as bad as they imagined. Nice distinctions are troublesome. It is so much easier to say that a thing is black, than to discriminate the particular shade of brown, blue, or green, to which it really belongs. It is so much easier to make up your mind that your neighbour is good for nothing, than to enter into all the circumstances that would oblige you to modify that opinion.

I’m not at all convinced that if the good folks of Milby had known the truth about Countess Czerlaski, they wouldn’t have been pretty let down to discover that it was nowhere near as terrible as they thought. Fine distinctions can be a hassle. It’s a lot easier to just say something is black than to identify the exact shade of brown, blue, or green it actually is. It’s much simpler to decide that your neighbor is useless than to consider all the details that might force you to rethink that judgment.

Besides, think of all the virtuous declamation, all the penetrating observation, which had been built up entirely on the fundamental position that the Countess was a very objectionable person indeed, and which would be utterly overturned and nullified by the destruction of that premiss. Mrs. Phipps, the banker’s wife, and Mrs. Landor, the attorney’s wife, had invested part of their reputation for acuteness in the supposition that Mr. Bridmain was not the Countess’s brother. Moreover, Miss Phipps was conscious that if the Countess was not a disreputable person, she, Miss Phipps, had no compensating superiority in virtue to set against the other lady’s manifest superiority in personal charms. Miss Phipps’s stumpy figure and unsuccessful attire, instead of looking down from a mount of virtue with an aureole round its head, would then be seen on the same level and in the same light as the Countess Czerlaski’s Diana-like form and well-chosen drapery. Miss Phipps, for her part, didn’t like dressing for effect—she had always avoided that style of appearance which was calculated to create a sensation.

Besides, consider all the moral speeches and sharp observations that were completely based on the assumption that the Countess was a very objectionable person. Everything would fall apart if that premise was disproven. Mrs. Phipps, the banker’s wife, and Mrs. Landor, the attorney’s wife, had staked part of their reputation for being sharp on the idea that Mr. Bridmain was not the Countess’s brother. Furthermore, Miss Phipps realized that if the Countess wasn't a disreputable person, she, Miss Phipps, had no exceptional virtue to balance out the Countess's obvious advantages in beauty. Miss Phipps’s short figure and unflattering clothes wouldn't stand out as a beacon of virtue anymore; instead, they would be compared directly to Countess Czerlaski’s elegant figure and well-chosen attire. As for Miss Phipps, she never liked dressing to impress—she had always steered clear of styles meant to create a stir.

Then what amusing innuendoes of the Milby gentlemen over their wine would have been entirely frustrated and reduced to nought, if you had told them that the Countess had really been guilty of no misdemeanours which demanded her exclusion from strictly respectable society; that her husband had been the veritable Count Czerlaski, who had had wonderful escapes, as she said, and who, as she did not say, but as was said in certain circulars once folded by her fair hands, had subsequently given dancing lessons in the metropolis; that Mr. Bridmain was neither more nor less than her half-brother, who, by unimpeached integrity and industry, had won a partnership in a silk-manufactory, and thereby a moderate fortune, that enabled him to retire, as you see, to study politics, the weather, and the art of conversation at his leisure. Mr. Bridmain, in fact, quadragenarian bachelor as he was, felt extremely well pleased to receive his sister in her widowhood, and to shine in the reflected light of her beauty and title. Every man who is not a monster, a mathematician, or a mad philosopher, is the slave of some woman or other. Mr. Bridmain had put his neck under the yoke of his handsome sister, and though his soul was a very little one—of the smallest description indeed—he would not have ventured to call it his own. He might be slightly recalcitrant now and then, as is the habit of long-eared pachyderms, under the thong of the fair Countess’s tongue; but there seemed little probability that he would ever get his neck loose. Still, a bachelor’s heart is an outlying fortress that some fair enemy may any day take either by storm or stratagem; and there was always the possibility that Mr. Bridmain’s first nuptials might occur before the Countess was quite sure of her second. As it was, however, he submitted to all his sister’s caprices, never grumbled because her dress and her maid formed a considerable item beyond her own little income of sixty pounds per annum, and consented to lead with her a migratory life, as personages on the debatable ground between aristocracy and commonalty, instead of settling in some spot where his five hundred a-year might have won him the definite dignity of a parochial magnate.

Then all the amusing innuendos of the Milby gentlemen over their wine would have been completely thwarted if you had told them that the Countess wasn’t guilty of any wrongdoing that would exclude her from respectable society; that her husband was the actual Count Czerlaski, who had amazing adventures, as she mentioned, and who, although she didn’t say it, was noted in certain newsletters that she had folded herself, had later given dance lessons in the city; that Mr. Bridmain was her half-brother, who, through his unblemished integrity and hard work, had earned a partnership in a silk manufacturing business, providing him with a decent fortune that allowed him to retire and study politics, the weather, and the art of conversation at his leisure. Mr. Bridmain, a bachelor at forty, was quite happy to welcome his sister in her widowhood and bask in the glow of her beauty and title. Every man who isn’t a monster, a mathematician, or a mad philosopher is at the mercy of some woman. Mr. Bridmain had willingly put himself under the influence of his beautiful sister, and even though he had a rather small soul—truly of the smallest kind—he wouldn’t dare call it his own. He might be a bit stubborn now and then, like long-eared animals, under the sharp tongue of the fair Countess; but it seemed unlikely he would ever break free. Still, a bachelor’s heart is a lone fortress that a beautiful enemy could capture at any moment, whether through force or cunning; and there was always the chance that Mr. Bridmain might marry before the Countess was quite sure about her next marriage. As things stood, though, he went along with all his sister’s whims, never complained that her dresses and maid were a significant expense beyond her modest income of sixty pounds a year, and agreed to live a nomadic life, straddling the line between aristocracy and common life, instead of settling somewhere where his five hundred a year could have granted him the respectable status of a local dignitary.

The Countess had her views in choosing a quiet provincial place like Milby. After three years of widowhood, she had brought her feelings to contemplate giving a successor to her lamented Czerlaski, whose fine whiskers, fine air, and romantic fortunes had won her heart ten years ago, when, as pretty Caroline Bridmain, in the full bloom of five-and-twenty, she was governess to Lady Porter’s daughters, whom he initiated into the mysteries of the pas de basque, and the lancers’ quadrilles. She had had seven years of sufficiently happy matrimony with Czerlaski, who had taken her to Paris and Germany, and introduced her there to many of his old friends with large titles and small fortunes. So that the fair Caroline had had considerable experience of life, and had gathered therefrom, not, indeed, any very ripe and comprehensive wisdom, but much external polish, and certain practical conclusions of a very decided kind. One of these conclusions was, that there were things more solid in life than fine whiskers and a title, and that, in accepting a second husband, she would regard these items as quite subordinate to a carriage and a settlement. Now, she had ascertained, by tentative residences, that the kind of bite she was angling for was difficult to be met with at watering-places, which were already preoccupied with abundance of angling beauties, and were chiefly stocked with men whose whiskers might be dyed, and whose incomes were still more problematic; so she had determined on trying a neighbourhood where people were extremely well acquainted with each other’s affairs, and where the women were mostly ill-dressed and ugly. Mr. Bridmain’s slow brain had adopted his sister’s views, and it seemed to him that a woman so handsome and distinguished as the Countess must certainly make a match that might lift himself into the region of county celebrities, and give him at least a sort of cousinship to the quarter-sessions.

The Countess had her reasons for choosing a quiet place like Milby. After three years of being a widow, she was considering the idea of finding someone to fill the void left by her beloved Czerlaski, whose impressive whiskers, charming demeanor, and adventurous life had captured her heart a decade ago. Back then, as pretty Caroline Bridmain, at the age of twenty-five, she was a governess to Lady Porter’s daughters, whom he taught the steps of the pas de basque and the lancers’ quadrilles. She enjoyed seven years of fairly happy marriage with Czerlaski, who took her to Paris and Germany, introducing her to his old friends, most of whom had grand titles but little wealth. Hence, the lovely Caroline had gained considerable life experience, which bestowed upon her not exactly profound wisdom, but a great deal of superficial elegance and some very clear practical insights. One of these insights was that there were more substantial things in life than fancy whiskers and a title; in choosing a second husband, she would prioritize a good living arrangement and financial stability over those superficial qualities. She had found, through her trial stays in various places, that the type of companion she was seeking was hard to find at popular resorts, which were already filled with beautiful women and mainly populated by men whose whiskers might be fake and whose incomes were uncertain. So, she decided to explore an area where everyone knew each other’s business, and where most women were poorly dressed and unattractive. Mr. Bridmain, with his slow mind, had come around to his sister’s perspective, believing that a woman as beautiful and distinguished as the Countess would certainly attract a match that could elevate him into the ranks of local notables, giving him at least a semblance of connection to the county’s notable gatherings.

All this, which was the simple truth, would have seemed extremely flat to the gossips of Milby, who had made up their minds to something much more exciting. There was nothing here so very detestable. It is true, the Countess was a little vain, a little ambitious, a little selfish, a little shallow and frivolous, a little given to white lies.—But who considers such slight blemishes, such moral pimples as these, disqualifications for entering into the most respectable society! Indeed, the severest ladies in Milby would have been perfectly aware that these characteristics would have created no wide distinction between the Countess Czerlaski and themselves; and since it was clear there was a wide distinction—why, it must lie in the possession of some vices from which they were undeniably free.

All of this, which was simply the truth, would have seemed very dull to the gossipers of Milby, who were expecting something much more thrilling. There was nothing here that was truly detestable. It's true that the Countess was a bit vain, a bit ambitious, a bit selfish, a bit shallow and superficial, and often told white lies. But who really views such minor flaws, such small imperfections as these, as reasons not to mingle in the most respectable society? In fact, even the strictest ladies in Milby would have known that these traits wouldn’t significantly set the Countess Czerlaski apart from them; and since it was obvious there was a significant difference—well, it must be because they were free from some vices that she clearly had.

Hence it came to pass that Milby respectability refused to recognize the Countess Czerlaski, in spite of her assiduous church-going, and the deep disgust she was known to have expressed at the extreme paucity of the congregations on Ash-Wednesdays. So she began to feel that she had miscalculated the advantages of a neighbourhood where people are well acquainted with each other’s private affairs. Under these circumstances, you will imagine how welcome was the perfect credence and admiration she met with from Mr. and Mrs. Barton. She had been especially irritated by Mr. Ely’s behaviour to her; she felt sure that he was not in the least struck with her beauty, that he quizzed her conversation, and that he spoke of her with a sneer. A woman always knows where she is utterly powerless, and shuns a coldly satirical eye as she would shun a Gorgon. And she was especially eager for clerical notice and friendship, not merely because that is quite the most respectable countenance to be obtained in society, but because she really cared about religious matters, and had an uneasy sense that she was not altogether safe in that quarter. She had serious intentions of becoming quite pious—without any reserves—when she had once got her carriage and settlement. Let us do this one sly trick, says Ulysses to Neoptolemus, and we will be perfectly honest ever after—

Hence it turned out that Milby’s respectable society refused to accept Countess Czerlaski, despite her frequent church attendance and her strong disgust at the remarkably small congregations on Ash Wednesdays. She started to realize that she had misjudged the benefits of living in a neighborhood where everyone knows each other’s personal lives. Given these circumstances, you can imagine how welcomed she felt by Mr. and Mrs. Barton, who admired her completely. She had been particularly annoyed by Mr. Ely’s behavior towards her; she was certain he didn’t find her beautiful at all, that he mocked her conversation, and that he spoke about her with contempt. A woman always knows when she is completely powerless and avoids a cold, sarcastic gaze like she would avoid a monster. She was especially eager for the acknowledgment and friendship of clergy, not just because that is the most respectable connection one can have in society, but also because she genuinely cared about religious matters and felt a nagging sense that she wasn’t entirely secure in that area. She had serious intentions of becoming truly devout—without any reservations—once she had gotten her carriage and settled down. Let’s do this one clever trick, says Ulysses to Neoptolemus, and we will be completely honest from then on—

ἀλλ’ ἡδὺ γάρ τοι κτῆμα τῆς νίκης λαβεῖν,
τόλμα· δίκαιοι δ’ αὖθις ἐκφανούμεθα.

The Countess did not quote Sophocles, but she said to herself, ‘Only this little bit of pretence and vanity, and then I will be quite good, and make myself quite safe for another world.’

The Countess didn’t quote Sophocles, but she told herself, ‘Just a little bit of pretension and vanity, and then I’ll be totally good, and secure myself for another world.’

And as she had by no means such fine taste and insight in theological teaching as in costume, the Rev. Amos Barton seemed to her a man not only of learning—that is always understood with a clergyman—but of much power as a spiritual director. As for Milly, the Countess really loved her as well as the preoccupied state of her affections would allow. For you have already perceived that there was one being to whom the Countess was absorbingly devoted, and to whose desires she made everything else subservient—namely, Caroline Czerlaski, nee Bridmain.

And since she definitely didn’t have the same refined taste and understanding in theological teachings as she did in fashion, the Rev. Amos Barton appeared to her as a man not only knowledgeable—that’s always expected of a clergyman—but also very influential as a spiritual guide. Regarding Milly, the Countess genuinely cared for her as much as her distracted feelings would allow. You have already noticed that there was one person to whom the Countess was completely devoted, making all her other concerns secondary—namely, Caroline Czerlaski, née Bridmain.

Thus there was really not much affectation in her sweet speeches and attentions to Mr. and Mrs. Barton. Still their friendship by no means adequately represented the object she had in view when she came to Milby, and it had been for some time clear to her that she must suggest a new change of residence to her brother.

Thus, there wasn't much pretense in her kind words and attentions to Mr. and Mrs. Barton. However, their friendship didn't truly reflect the purpose she had in mind when she arrived in Milby, and it had become clear to her for some time that she needed to propose a new move to her brother.

The thing we look forward to often comes to pass, but never precisely in the way we have imagined to ourselves. The Countess did actually leave Camp Villa before many months were past, but under circumstances which had not at all entered into her contemplation.

The things we anticipate usually happen, but never quite how we envisioned. The Countess did leave Camp Villa within a few months, but under circumstances she had never considered.

Chapter 5

The Rev. Amos Barton, whose sad fortunes I have undertaken to relate, was, you perceive, in no respect an ideal or exceptional character; and perhaps I am doing a bold thing to bespeak your sympathy on behalf of a man who was so very far from remarkable,—a man whose virtues were not heroic, and who had no undetected crime within his breast; who had not the slightest mystery hanging about him, but was palpably and unmistakably commonplace; who was not even in love, but had had that complaint favourably many years ago. ‘An utterly uninteresting character!’ I think I hear a lady reader exclaim—Mrs. Farthingale, for example, who prefers the ideal in fiction; to whom tragedy means ermine tippets, adultery, and murder; and comedy, the adventures of some personage who is quite a ‘character’.

The Rev. Amos Barton, whose unfortunate life I’ve decided to share, wasn’t, as you can see, an ideal or exceptional person; and maybe it’s a bit risky to ask for your sympathy for someone who is so unremarkable—a man whose virtues weren’t heroic, and who had no hidden crimes lurking in his heart; who had no air of mystery about him, but was clearly and undeniably ordinary; who wasn’t even in love, having had that issue resolved many years ago. “An utterly uninteresting character!” I can almost hear a female reader exclaim—like Mrs. Farthingale, for instance, who prefers the ideal in stories; for whom tragedy means fur scarves, infidelity, and murder; and comedy features the adventures of someone who is truly a “character.”

But, my dear madam, it is so very large a majority of your fellow-countrymen that are of this insignificant stamp. At least eighty out of a hundred of your adult male fellow-Britons returned in the last census are neither extraordinarily silly, nor extraordinarily wicked, nor extraordinarily wise; their eyes are neither deep and liquid with sentiment, nor sparkling with suppressed witticisms; they have probably had no hairbreadth escapes or thrilling adventures; their brains are certainly not pregnant with genius, and their passions have not manifested themselves at all after the fashion of a volcano. They are simply men of complexions more or less muddy, whose conversation is more or less bald and disjointed. Yet these commonplace people—many of them—bear a conscience, and have felt the sublime prompting to do the painful right; they have their unspoken sorrows, and their sacred joys; their hearts have perhaps gone out towards their first-born, and they have mourned over the irreclaimable dead. Nay, is there not a pathos in their very insignificance—in our comparison of their dim and narrow existence with the glorious possibilities of that human nature which they share?

But, my dear lady, the majority of your fellow countrymen are quite ordinary. At least eighty out of a hundred of your adult male fellow Britons counted in the last census are neither exceptionally foolish, nor exceptionally evil, nor exceptionally wise; their eyes are neither deep and soulful with emotion, nor sparkling with hidden humor; they probably haven't had any close calls or exciting adventures; their minds are definitely not bursting with brilliance, and their feelings don't erupt like a volcano. They are just men with complexions that are more or less dull, whose conversations are more or less awkward and disjointed. Yet these ordinary people—many of them—have a conscience and have felt the noble urge to do what is right, even when it's hard; they carry their unvoiced griefs and their cherished joys; their hearts may have reached out to their firstborns, and they have grieved for the lost. In fact, isn’t there a certain sadness in their very normalcy—when we compare their dim and limited lives with the amazing potential of the human spirit that they share?

Depend upon it, you would gain unspeakably if you would learn with me to see some of the poetry and the pathos, the tragedy and the comedy, lying in the experience of a human soul that looks out through dull grey eyes, and that speaks in a voice of quite ordinary tones. In that case, I should have no fear of your not caring to know what farther befell the Rev. Amos Barton, or of your thinking the homely details I have to tell at all beneath your attention. As it is, you can, if you please, decline to pursue my story farther; and you will easily find reading more to your taste, since I learn from the newspapers that many remarkable novels, full of striking situations, thrilling incidents, and eloquent writing, have appeared only within the last season.

Count on it, you would gain so much if you learned with me to see some of the poetry and the pathos, the tragedy and the comedy, found in the experience of a human soul that looks out through dull grey eyes and speaks in a completely ordinary voice. In that case, I wouldn't worry about you not wanting to know what happened next to the Rev. Amos Barton, or about you thinking the everyday details I have to share are beneath your attention. As it stands, you can choose to stop following my story if you want, and you'll easily find something more to your taste since I’ve seen in the newspapers that many remarkable novels, packed with striking situations, thrilling incidents, and powerful writing, have come out just in the last season.

Meanwhile, readers who have begun to feel an interest in the Rev. Amos Barton and his wife, will be glad to learn that Mr. Oldinport lent the twenty pounds. But twenty pounds are soon exhausted when twelve are due as back payment to the butcher, and when the possession of eight extra sovereigns in February weather is an irresistible temptation to order a new greatcoat. And though Mr. Bridmain so far departed from the necessary economy entailed on him by the Countess’s elegant toilette and expensive maid, as to choose a handsome black silk, stiff, as his experienced eye discerned, with the genuine strength of its own texture, and not with the factitious strength of gum, and present it to Mrs. Barton, in retrieval of the accident that had occurred at his table, yet, dear me—as every husband has heard—what is the present of a gown when you are deficiently furnished with the et-ceteras of apparel, and when, moreover, there are six children whose wear and tear of clothes is something incredible to the non-maternal mind?

Meanwhile, readers who have started to take an interest in Rev. Amos Barton and his wife will be glad to know that Mr. Oldinport lent the twenty pounds. But twenty pounds can run out quickly when twelve are owed for back pay to the butcher, and having eight extra sovereigns in February is a tempting reason to buy a new greatcoat. And even though Mr. Bridmain deviated from the strict budgeting required by the Countess’s stylish outfit and expensive maid, choosing a nice black silk that, as his experienced eye noted, had true strength in its texture and was not artificially stiffened with gum, and giving it to Mrs. Barton to make up for the incident at his table, yet, oh dear—like every husband has heard—what good is a gown when you're short on the essentials of clothing, especially with six kids whose wear and tear on clothes is just incredible to someone who hasn't had children?

Indeed, the equation of income and expenditure was offering new and constantly accumulating difficulties to Mr. and Mrs. Barton; for shortly after the birth of little Walter, Milly’s aunt, who had lived with her ever since her marriage, had withdrawn herself, her furniture, and her yearly income, to the household of another niece; prompted to that step, very probably, by a slight ‘tiff’ with the Rev. Amos, which occurred while Milly was up-stairs, and proved one too many for the elderly lady’s patience and magnanimity. Mr. Barton’s temper was a little warm, but, on the other hand, elderly maiden ladies are known to be susceptible; so we will not suppose that all the blame lay on his side—the less so, as he had every motive for humouring an inmate whose presence kept the wolf from the door. It was now nearly a year since Miss Jackson’s departure, and, to a fine ear, the howl of the wolf was audibly approaching.

Indeed, the balance between income and expenses was creating new and ongoing challenges for Mr. and Mrs. Barton; shortly after the birth of little Walter, Milly's aunt, who had lived with her since her marriage, had moved out, taking her furniture and yearly income to live with another niece. This decision was likely triggered by a minor argument with the Rev. Amos, which happened while Milly was upstairs, and it was evidently too much for the elderly lady's patience. Mr. Barton's temper was a bit fiery, but on the flip side, older unmarried women are often quite sensitive, so we shouldn't assume all the blame fell on him—especially since he had every reason to keep on good terms with someone whose presence helped keep financial troubles at bay. It had been nearly a year since Miss Jackson left, and to someone with a keen ear, the sound of trouble was unmistakably getting closer.

It was a sad thing, too, that when the last snow had melted, when the purple and yellow crocuses were coming up in the garden, and the old church was already half pulled down, Milly had an illness which made her lips look pale, and rendered it absolutely necessary that she should not exert herself for some time. Mr. Brand, the Shepperton doctor so obnoxious to Mr. Pilgrim, ordered her to drink port-wine, and it was quite necessary to have a charwoman very often, to assist Nanny in all the extra work that fell upon her.

It was also unfortunate that when the last snow had melted, when the purple and yellow crocuses were blooming in the garden, and the old church was already partially torn down, Milly got sick, which made her lips look pale and meant she absolutely had to avoid exerting herself for a while. Mr. Brand, the Shepperton doctor who Mr. Pilgrim found so annoying, advised her to drink port wine, and it was essential to hire a cleaning woman frequently to help Nanny with all the extra work that piled up.

Mrs. Hackit, who hardly ever paid a visit to any one but her oldest and nearest neighbour, Mrs. Patten, now took the unusual step of calling at the vicarage one morning; and the tears came into her unsentimental eyes as she saw Milly seated pale and feeble in the parlour, unable to persevere in sewing the pinafore that lay on the table beside her. Little Dickey, a boisterous boy of five, with large pink cheeks and sturdy legs, was having his turn to sit with Mamma, and was squatting quiet as a mouse at her knee, holding her soft white hand between his little red black-nailed fists. He was a boy whom Mrs. Hackit, in a severe mood, had pronounced ‘stocky’ (a word that etymologically in all probability, conveys some allusion to an instrument of punishment for the refractory); but seeing him thus subdued into goodness, she smiled at him with her kindest smile, and stooping down, suggested a kiss—a favour which Dicky resolutely declined.

Mrs. Hackit, who rarely visited anyone except her oldest and closest neighbor, Mrs. Patten, took the unusual step of stopping by the vicarage one morning. Tears filled her unsentimental eyes when she saw Milly sitting pale and weak in the parlor, unable to continue sewing the pinafore that lay on the table next to her. Little Dickey, a lively five-year-old with rosy cheeks and sturdy legs, was taking his turn to sit with Mommy. He was sitting quietly like a mouse at her knee, holding her soft white hand between his little red, black-nailed fists. He was a boy whom Mrs. Hackit, in a strict mood, had called ‘stocky’ (a word that likely refers to a punishment tool for the unruly); but seeing him so calm, she smiled at him with her warmest smile and leaned down to suggest a kiss—a gesture that Dickey firmly refused.

‘Now do you take nourishing things enough?’ was one of Mrs. Hackit’s first questions, and Milly endeavoured to make it appear that no woman was ever so much in danger of being over-fed and led into self-indulgent habits as herself. But Mrs. Hackit gathered one fact from her replies, namely, that Mr. Brand had ordered port-wine.

‘So, are you eating enough nourishing food?’ was one of Mrs. Hackit’s first questions, and Milly tried to make it seem like no woman was ever at risk of being over-fed and falling into indulgent habits as much as she was. But Mrs. Hackit picked up one important detail from her answers: that Mr. Brand had ordered port wine.

While this conversation was going forward, Dickey had been furtively stroking and kissing the soft white hand; so that at last, when a pause came, his mother said, smilingly, ‘Why are you kissing my hand, Dickey?’

While this conversation was happening, Dickey had been secretly stroking and kissing the soft white hand; so finally, when there was a pause, his mother said with a smile, “Why are you kissing my hand, Dickey?”

‘It id to yovely,’ answered Dickey, who, you observe, was decidedly backward in his pronunciation.

‘It's lovely,’ answered Dickey, who, as you can see, was definitely slow in his pronunciation.

Mrs. Hackit remembered this little scene in after days, and thought with peculiar tenderness and pity of the ‘stocky boy’.

Mrs. Hackit remembered this little scene later on and thought with special kindness and pity of the 'stocky boy.'

The next day there came a hamper with Mrs. Hackit’s respects; and on being opened it was found to contain half-a-dozen of port-wine and two couples of fowls. Mrs. Farquhar, too, was very kind; insisted on Mrs. Barton’s rejecting all arrowroot but hers, which was genuine Indian, and carried away Sophy and Fred to stay with her a fortnight. These and other good-natured attentions made the trouble of Milly’s illness more bearable; but they could not prevent it from swelling expenses, and Mr. Barton began to have serious thoughts of representing his case to a certain charity for the relief of needy curates.

The next day, a hamper arrived with Mrs. Hackit's regards, and when it was opened, it contained half a dozen bottles of port wine and two pairs of chickens. Mrs. Farquhar was also very generous; she insisted that Mrs. Barton use only her arrowroot, which was authentic Indian, and she took Sophy and Fred to stay with her for two weeks. These and other thoughtful gestures made Milly’s illness a bit easier to handle, but they couldn’t stop the expenses from piling up, and Mr. Barton began to seriously consider reaching out to a certain charity dedicated to helping struggling curates.

Altogether, as matters stood in Shepperton, the parishioners were more likely to have a strong sense that the clergyman needed their material aid, than that they needed his spiritual aid,—not the best state of things in this age and country, where faith in men solely on the ground of their spiritual gifts has considerably diminished, and especially unfavourable to the influence of the Rev. Amos, whose spiritual gifts would not have had a very commanding power even in an age of faith.

Overall, in Shepperton, the locals were more inclined to feel that the clergyman needed their financial support rather than that they needed his spiritual guidance—this isn't exactly ideal in today's world, where trust in people based solely on their spiritual abilities has significantly decreased. This situation was particularly challenging for the Rev. Amos, whose spiritual talents wouldn't have been very impactful even in a time of strong faith.

But, you ask, did not the Countess Czerlaski pay any attention to her friends all this time? To be sure she did. She was indefatigable in visiting her ‘sweet Milly’, and sitting with her for hours together. It may seem remarkable to you that she neither thought of taking away any of the children, nor of providing for any of Milly’s probable wants; but ladies of rank and of luxurious habits, you know, cannot be expected to surmise the details of poverty. She put a great deal of eau-de-Cologne on Mrs. Barton’s pocket-handkerchief, rearranged her pillow and footstool, kissed her cheeks, wrapped her in a soft warm shawl from her own shoulders, and amused her with stories of the life she had seen abroad. When Mr. Barton joined them she talked of Tractarianism, of her determination not to re-enter the vortex of fashionable life, and of her anxiety to see him in a sphere large enough for his talents. Milly thought her sprightliness and affectionate warmth quite charming, and was very fond of her; while the Rev. Amos had a vague consciousness that he had risen into aristocratic life, and only associated with his middle-class parishioners in a pastoral and parenthetic manner.

But you might wonder, did Countess Czerlaski ignore her friends all this time? Of course she didn't. She was tireless in visiting her ‘sweet Milly’ and spent hours with her. It may seem surprising to you that she neither considered taking any of the children away nor thought about any of Milly’s possible needs; but women of privilege and luxury, as you know, can't be expected to grasp the specifics of poverty. She poured a lot of eau-de-Cologne on Mrs. Barton’s handkerchief, adjusted her pillow and footstool, kissed her cheeks, wrapped her in a soft, warm shawl from her own shoulders, and entertained her with stories of her travels abroad. When Mr. Barton joined them, she talked about Tractarianism, her decision not to dive back into fashionable society, and her hopes to see him in a role befitting his talents. Milly found her liveliness and affectionate kindness delightful and was very fond of her; meanwhile, Rev. Amos had a vague awareness that he had ascended into a higher social class and only interacted with his middle-class parishioners in a pastoral and somewhat detached way.

However, as the days brightened, Milly’s cheeks and lips brightened too; and in a few weeks she was almost as active as ever, though watchful eyes might have seen that activity was not easy to her. Mrs. Hackit’s eyes were of that kind, and one day, when Mr. and Mrs. Barton had been dining with her for the first time since Milly’s illness, she observed to her husband—‘That poor thing’s dreadful weak an’ delicate; she won’t stan’ havin’ many more children.’

However, as the days got brighter, Milly’s cheeks and lips became brighter too; and in a few weeks, she was almost as active as ever, though observant people might have noticed that being active wasn't easy for her. Mrs. Hackit was one of those observant people, and one day, when Mr. and Mrs. Barton had dinner with her for the first time since Milly's illness, she said to her husband, "That poor thing is really weak and fragile; she can't handle having many more children."

Mr. Barton, meanwhile, had been indefatigable in his vocation. He had preached two extemporary sermons every Sunday at the workhouse, where a room had been fitted up for divine service, pending the alterations in the church; and had walked the same evening to a cottage at one or other extremity of his parish to deliver another sermon, still more extemporary, in an atmosphere impregnated with spring-flowers and perspiration. After all these labours you will easily conceive that he was considerably exhausted by half-past nine o’clock in the evening, and that a supper at a friendly parishioner’s, with a glass, or even two glasses, of brandy-and-water after it, was a welcome reinforcement. Mr. Barton was not at all an ascetic; he thought the benefits of fasting were entirely confined to the Old Testament dispensation; he was fond of relaxing himself with a little gossip; indeed, Miss Bond, and other ladies of enthusiastic views, sometimes regretted that Mr. Barton did not more uninterruptedly exhibit a superiority to the things of the flesh. Thin ladies, who take little exercise, and whose livers are not strong enough to bear stimulants, are so extremely critical about one’s personal habits! And, after all, the Rev. Amos never came near the borders of a vice. His very faults were middling—he was not very ungrammatical. It was not in his nature to be superlative in anything; unless, indeed, he was superlatively middling, the quintessential extract of mediocrity. If there was any one point on which he showed an inclination to be excessive, it was confidence in his own shrewdness and ability in practical matters, so that he was very full of plans which were something like his moves in chess—admirably well calculated, supposing the state of the case were otherwise. For example, that notable plan of introducing anti-dissenting books into his Lending Library did not in the least appear to have bruised the head of Dissent, though it had certainly made Dissent strongly inclined to bite the Rev. Amos’s heel. Again, he vexed the souls of his churchwardens and influential parishioners by his fertile suggestiveness as to what it would be well for them to do in the matter of the church repairs, and other ecclesiastical secularities.

Mr. Barton had been tireless in his work. Every Sunday, he preached two improvised sermons at the workhouse, where a room was set up for worship while the church was being renovated. That same evening, he walked to a cottage at one end of his parish to deliver an even more spontaneous sermon, surrounded by the scent of spring flowers and sweat. After all this effort, you can imagine he was pretty worn out by half-past nine at night, and a supper at a friendly parishioner's home, along with a glass or even two of brandy and water, was a much-needed boost. Mr. Barton was not at all an ascetic; he believed that fasting was purely an Old Testament practice and enjoyed unwinding with a bit of gossip. In fact, Miss Bond and other ladies with strong beliefs sometimes wished Mr. Barton would show more disinterest in earthly matters. Thin women who don’t exercise much and can’t handle stimulants can be overly critical about other people's habits! Yet, the Rev. Amos never strayed into any real vice. His faults were mild—he wasn’t very ungrammatical. It just wasn’t in his nature to be extreme—unless, of course, he was extremely average, the pure definition of mediocrity. If there was one area where he tended to be overconfident, it was in his belief in his own cleverness and practical skills, leading him to come up with plans that were well thought out, assuming conditions were different. For instance, his notable plan to introduce anti-dissenting books into his Lending Library didn’t seem to faze dissent at all, although it certainly made dissent eager to nip at the Rev. Amos’s heels. Additionally, he irritated his churchwardens and influential parishioners with his overabundance of suggestions about what they should do regarding church repairs and other church-related matters.

‘I never saw the like to parsons,’ Mr. Hackit said one day in conversation with his brother churchwarden, Mr. Bond; ‘they’re al’ys for meddling with business, an they know no more about it than my black filly.’

‘I’ve never seen anything like these pastors,’ Mr. Hackit said one day in a conversation with his brother churchwarden, Mr. Bond; ‘they’re always getting involved in business, and they know just as much about it as my black mare.’

‘Ah,’ said Mr. Bond, ‘they’re too high learnt to have much common-sense.’

‘Ah,’ said Mr. Bond, ‘they're too highly educated to have much common sense.’

‘Well,’ remarked Mr. Hackit, in a modest and dubious tone, as if throwing out a hypothesis which might be considered bold, ‘I should say that’s a bad sort of eddication as makes folks onreasonable.’

‘Well,’ said Mr. Hackit, in a humble and uncertain tone, as if suggesting a theory that might be seen as daring, ‘I would say that’s a poor kind of education that makes people unreasonable.’

So that, you perceive, Mr. Barton’s popularity was in that precarious condition, in that toppling and contingent state, in which a very slight push from a malignant destiny would utterly upset it. That push was not long in being given, as you shall hear.

So, as you can see, Mr. Barton’s popularity was in a fragile state, teetering on the edge, where just a small nudge from a cruel fate could completely ruin it. That nudge wasn’t long in coming, as you will hear.

One fine May morning, when Amos was out on his parochial visits, and the sunlight was streaming through the bow-window of the sitting-room, where Milly was seated at her sewing, occasionally looking up to glance at the children playing in the garden, there came a loud rap at the door, which she at once recognized as the Countess’s, and that well-dressed lady presently entered the sitting-room, with her veil drawn over her face. Milly was not at all surprised or sorry to see her; but when the Countess threw up her veil, and showed that her eyes were red and swollen, she was both surprised and sorry.

One beautiful May morning, while Amos was out visiting parishioners and sunlight poured through the large window of the sitting room where Milly was sewing and occasionally glancing at the kids playing in the garden, there was a loud knock at the door that she instantly recognized as the Countess’s. The well-dressed lady soon stepped into the sitting room with her veil covering her face. Milly wasn’t surprised or unhappy to see her; however, when the Countess lifted her veil and revealed her red and swollen eyes, she felt both surprised and sad.

‘What can be the matter, dear Caroline?’

"What's wrong, dear Carlie?"

Caroline threw down Jet, who gave a little yelp; then she threw her arms round Milly’s neck, and began to sob; then she threw herself on the sofa, and begged for a glass of water; then she threw off her bonnet and shawl; and by the time Milly’s imagination had exhausted itself in conjuring up calamities, she said,—‘Dear, how shall I tell you? I am the most wretched woman. To be deceived by a brother to whom I have been so devoted—to see him degrading himself—giving himself utterly to the dogs!’

Caroline tossed Jet aside, who let out a small yelp; then she wrapped her arms around Milly’s neck and started to cry; after that, she threw herself onto the sofa and asked for a glass of water; next, she took off her bonnet and shawl; and by the time Milly’s imagination had run wild with all sorts of disasters, she said, “Dear, how am I going to tell you? I am the most miserable woman. To be betrayed by a brother I've been so devoted to—to watch him ruin himself—throwing himself completely to ruin!”

‘What can it be?’ said Milly, who began to picture to herself the sober Mr. Bridmain taking to brandy and betting.

‘What could it be?’ Milly wondered, starting to imagine the serious Mr. Bridmain turning to brandy and gambling.

‘He is going to be married—to marry my own maid, that deceitful Alice, to whom I have been the most indulgent mistress. Did you ever hear of anything so disgraceful? so mortifying? so disreputable?’

‘He is going to marry my own maid, that deceitful Alice, to whom I have been the most lenient mistress. Have you ever heard anything so disgraceful? So humiliating? So shameful?’

‘And has he only just told you of it?’ said Milly, who, having really heard of worse conduct, even in her innocent life, avoided a direct answer.

‘And did he just tell you about it?’ said Milly, who, having actually heard of worse behavior even in her innocent life, avoided giving a direct answer.

‘Told me of it! he had not even the grace to do that. I went into the dining-room suddenly and found him kissing her—disgusting at his time of life, is it not?—and when I reproved her for allowing such liberties, she turned round saucily, and said she was engaged to be married to my brother, and she saw no shame in allowing him to kiss her. Edmund is a miserable coward, you know, and looked frightened; but when she asked him to say whether it was not so, he tried to summon up courage and say yes. I left the room in disgust, and this morning I have been questioning Edmund, and find that he is bent on marrying this woman, and that he has been putting off telling me—because he was ashamed of himself, I suppose. I couldn’t possibly stay in the house after this, with my own maid turned mistress. And now, Milly, I am come to throw myself on your charity for a week or two. Will you take me in?’

‘He didn’t even have the decency to tell me! I went into the dining room unexpectedly and found him kissing her—disgusting at his age, don’t you think?—and when I scolded her for letting him get away with that, she cheekily replied that she was engaged to my brother and didn’t see anything wrong with him kissing her. Edmund is such a pathetic coward, you know, and looked scared; but when she pushed him to confirm it, he tried to muster the courage to agree. I left the room in disgust, and this morning I’ve been questioning Edmund, only to find out that he’s determined to marry this woman and has been delaying telling me—probably because he’s ashamed of himself. I couldn't possibly stay in the house after this, with my own maid acting like the mistress. And now, Milly, I’m coming to ask for your kindness for a week or two. Will you take me in?’

‘That we will,’ said Milly, ‘if you will only put up with our poor rooms and way of living. It will be delightful to have you!’

‘We definitely will,’ said Milly, ‘if you can just put up with our small rooms and simple lifestyle. It’ll be great to have you!’

‘It will soothe me to be with you and Mr. Barton a little while. I feel quite unable to go among my other friends just at present. What those two wretched people will do I don’t know—leave the neighbourhood at once, I hope. I entreated my brother to do so, before he disgraced himself.’

‘It will be comforting to spend some time with you and Mr. Barton. I really can’t face my other friends right now. I don’t know what those two miserable people will do—I hope they leave the area immediately. I begged my brother to do so before he embarrassed himself.’

When Amos came home, he joined his cordial welcome and sympathy to Milly’s. By-and-by the Countess’s formidable boxes, which she had carefully packed before her indignation drove her away from Camp Villa, arrived at the vicarage, and were deposited in the spare bedroom, and in two closets, not spare, which Milly emptied for their reception. A week afterwards, the excellent apartments at Camp Villa, comprising dining and drawing rooms, three bedrooms and a dressing-room, were again to let, and Mr. Bridmain’s sudden departure, together with the Countess Czerlaski’s installation as a visitor at Shepperton Vicarage, became a topic of general conversation in the neighbourhood. The keen-sighted virtue of Milby and Shepperton saw in all this a confirmation of its worst suspicions, and pitied the Rev. Amos Barton’s gullibility.

When Amos got home, he joined Milly in her warm welcome and sympathy. Eventually, the Countess’s imposing boxes, which she had packed carefully before her anger made her leave Camp Villa, arrived at the vicarage and were placed in the spare bedroom and in two closets that Milly cleared out for their arrival. A week later, the nice rooms at Camp Villa, which included dining and drawing rooms, three bedrooms, and a dressing room, were available to rent again, and Mr. Bridmain’s sudden exit, along with the Countess Czerlaski staying as a guest at Shepperton Vicarage, became a topic of conversation in the neighborhood. The sharp-eyed residents of Milby and Shepperton saw this as proof of their worst suspicions and felt sorry for the Rev. Amos Barton’s naiveté.

But when week after week, and month after month, slipped by without witnessing the Countess’s departure—when summer and harvest had fled, and still left her behind them occupying the spare bedroom and the closets, and also a large proportion of Mrs. Barton’s time and attention, new surmises of a very evil kind were added to the old rumours, and began to take the form of settled convictions in the minds even of Mr. Barton’s most friendly parishioners.

But as weeks turned into months without seeing the Countess leave—when summer and harvest had passed, and she was still there in the spare bedroom and the closets, taking up a significant amount of Mrs. Barton’s time and attention—new, concerning speculations emerged alongside the old rumors, becoming firm beliefs even among Mr. Barton’s most supportive parishioners.

And now, here is an opportunity for an accomplished writer to apostrophize calumny, to quote Virgil, and to show that he is acquainted with the most ingenious things which have been said on that subject in polite literature.

And now, here's a chance for a skilled writer to address slander, to quote Virgil, and to demonstrate that he knows the most clever things that have been said on that topic in refined literature.

But what is opportunity to the man who can’t use it? An undefecundated egg, which the waves of time wash away into nonentity. So, as my memory is ill-furnished, and my notebook still worse, I am unable to show myself either erudite or eloquent apropos of the calumny whereof the Rev. Amos Barton was the victim. I can only ask my reader,—did you ever upset your ink-bottle, and watch, in helpless agony, the rapid spread of Stygian blackness over your fair manuscript or fairer table-cover? With a like inky swiftness did gossip now blacken the reputation of the Rev. Amos Barton, causing the unfriendly to scorn and even the friendly to stand aloof, at a time when difficulties of another kind were fast thickening around him.

But what good is opportunity to someone who can’t take advantage of it? It's like a useless egg, washed away by the relentless tides of time. Since my memory is poor and my notes are even worse, I can’t claim to be knowledgeable or articulate about the slander that the Rev. Amos Barton faced. I can only ask you, dear reader—have you ever knocked over your ink bottle and watched in despair as the dark ink spread rapidly across your pristine manuscript or your beautiful tablecloth? Just like that inky disaster, gossip swiftly tarnished Rev. Amos Barton's reputation, causing enemies to scorn him and even friends to keep their distance at a time when other challenges were piling up around him.

Chapter 6

One November morning, at least six months after the Countess Czerlaski had taken up her residence at the vicarage, Mrs. Hackit heard that her neighbour Mrs. Patten had an attack of her old complaint, vaguely called ‘the spasms’. Accordingly, about eleven o’clock, she put on her velvet bonnet and cloth cloak, with a long boa and muff large enough to stow a prize baby in; for Mrs. Hackit regulated her costume by the calendar, and brought out her furs on the first of November; whatever might be the temperature. She was not a woman weakly to accommodate herself to shilly-shally proceedings. If the season didn’t know what it ought to do, Mrs. Hackit did. In her best days, it was always sharp weather at ‘Gunpowder Plot’, and she didn’t like new fashions.

One November morning, at least six months after Countess Czerlaski had moved into the vicarage, Mrs. Hackit heard that her neighbor Mrs. Patten was having a flare-up of her old issue, vaguely referred to as 'the spasms'. So, around eleven o'clock, she put on her velvet bonnet and cloth cloak, along with a long boa and a muff that could easily fit a prize baby; Mrs. Hackit stuck to her seasonal wardrobe and pulled out her furs on November 1st, regardless of the temperature. She wasn’t the kind of woman to adjust herself to indecisive situations. If the season didn’t know what it was supposed to do, Mrs. Hackit certainly did. Back in the day, it was always cold around 'Gunpowder Plot', and she didn’t care for new trends.

And this morning the weather was very rationally in accordance with her costume, for as she made her way through the fields to Cross Farm, the yellow leaves on the hedge-girt elms, which showed bright and golden against the long-hanging purple clouds, were being scattered across the grassy path by the coldest of November winds. ‘Ah,’ Mrs. Hackit thought to herself, ‘I daresay we shall have a sharp pinch this winter, and if we do, I shouldn’t wonder if it takes the old lady off. They say a green Yule makes a fat churchyard; but so does a white Yule too, for that matter. When the stool’s rotten enough, no matter who sits on it.’

And this morning, the weather matched her outfit perfectly. As she walked through the fields to Cross Farm, the yellow leaves on the hedge-lined elms, bright and golden against the dark purple clouds, were being blown across the grassy path by the cold November winds. “Ah,” Mrs. Hackit thought to herself, “I bet we’ll have a tough winter, and if we do, I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes the old lady down. They say a warm Christmas leads to a crowded cemetery, but a cold Christmas does too, for that matter. When the stool is rotting enough, it doesn’t matter who sits on it.”

However, on her arrival at Cross Farm, the prospect of Mrs. Patten’s decease was again thrown into the dim distance in her imagination, for Miss Janet Gibbs met her with the news that Mrs. Patten was much better, and led her, without any preliminary announcement, to the old lady’s bedroom. Janet had scarcely reached the end of her circumstantial narrative how the attack came on and what were her aunt’s sensations—a narrative to which Mrs. Patten, in her neatly-plaited nightcap, seemed to listen with a contemptuous resignation to her niece’s historical inaccuracy, contenting herself with occasionally confounding Janet by a shake of the head—when the clatter of a horse’s hoofs on the yard pavement announced the arrival of Mr. Pilgrim, whose large, top-booted person presently made its appearance up-stairs. He found Mrs. Patten going on so well that there was no need to look solemn. He might glide from condolence into gossip without offence, and the temptation of having Mrs. Hackit’s ear was irresistible.

However, when she arrived at Cross Farm, the thought of Mrs. Patten’s death faded again in her mind, as Miss Janet Gibbs greeted her with news that Mrs. Patten was much better and led her, without any introduction, to the old lady’s bedroom. Janet had barely finished her detailed account of how the attack started and what her aunt was feeling—a story to which Mrs. Patten, in her neatly arranged nightcap, seemed to listen with a disdainful acceptance of her niece’s inaccuracies, occasionally confusing Janet with a shake of her head—when the sound of horse hooves on the yard pavement announced Mr. Pilgrim’s arrival, whose large, booted figure soon appeared upstairs. He found Mrs. Patten doing so well that there was no need to be somber. He could smoothly shift from offering condolences to chatting without causing any offense, and the lure of having Mrs. Hackit’s attention was too tempting to resist.

‘What a disgraceful business this is turning out of your parson’s,’ was the remark with which he made this agreeable transition, throwing himself back in the chair from which he had been leaning towards the patient. ‘Eh, dear me!’ said Mrs. Hackit, ‘disgraceful enough. I stuck to Mr. Barton as long as I could, for his wife’s sake; but I can’t countenance such goings-on. It’s hateful to see that woman coming with ’em to service of a Sunday, and if Mr. Hackit wasn’t churchwarden and I didn’t think it wrong to forsake one’s own parish, I should go to Knebley Church. There’s a many parish’ners as do.’

‘What a disgraceful situation your parson is creating,’ was the comment he made as he settled back in the chair he had been leaning away from while talking to the patient. ‘Oh dear!’ said Mrs. Hackit, ‘it’s disgraceful enough. I supported Mr. Barton as long as I could, for his wife’s sake; but I can’t condone such behavior. It’s awful to see that woman coming with them to church on Sundays, and if Mr. Hackit weren’t the churchwarden and I didn’t think it wrong to abandon my own parish, I would go to Knebley Church. A lot of parishioners do.’

‘I used to think Barton was only a fool,’ observed Mr. Pilgrim, in a tone which implied that he was conscious of having been weakly charitable. ‘I thought he was imposed upon and led away by those people when they first came. But that’s impossible now.’

‘I used to think Barton was just a fool,’ Mr. Pilgrim remarked, sounding as if he realized he had been overly generous in his judgment. ‘I thought he was being taken advantage of and influenced by those people when they first showed up. But that doesn’t seem possible anymore.’

‘O, it’s as plain as the nose in your face,’ said Mrs. Hackit, unreflectingly, not perceiving the equivoque in her comparison—‘comin’ to Milby, like a sparrow perchin’ on a bough, as I may say, with her brother, as she called him; and then all on a sudden the brother goes off with himself, and she throws herself on the Bartons. Though what could make her take up with a poor notomise of a parson, as hasn’t got enough to keep wife and children, there’s One above knows—I don’t.’

‘Oh, it’s as obvious as the nose on your face,’ said Mrs. Hackit, without thinking, not realizing the ambiguity in her comparison—‘coming to Milby, like a sparrow resting on a branch, as I might say, with her brother, as she referred to him; and then all of a sudden the brother disappears, and she leans on the Bartons. Though what could make her get involved with a poor, hopeless parson, who doesn’t have enough to support a wife and kids, only One above knows—I don’t.’

‘Mr. Barton may have attractions we don’t know of,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, who piqued himself on a talent for sarcasm. ‘The Countess has no maid now, and they say Mr. Barton is handy in assisting at her toilette—laces her boots, and so forth.’

‘Mr. Barton might have some qualities we’re not aware of,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, who took pride in his sarcastic wit. ‘The Countess doesn’t have a maid anymore, and people say Mr. Barton helps her get ready—laces her boots, and so on.’

‘Tilette, be fiddled!’ said Mrs. Hackit, with indignant boldness of metaphor; ‘an’ there’s that poor thing a-sewing her fingers to the bone for them children—an’ another comin’ on. What she must have to go through! It goes to my heart to turn my back on her. But she’s i’ the wrong to let herself be put upon i’ that manner.’

‘Tilette, don't be foolish!’ said Mrs. Hackit, with an indignant flair for metaphors; ‘and there’s that poor woman sewing her fingers to the bone for those kids—and another one on the way. Just think about what she must endure! It breaks my heart to turn my back on her. But she's in the wrong for allowing herself to be treated like that.’

‘Ah! I was talking to Mrs. Farquhar about that the other day. She said, “I think Mrs. Barton a v-e-r-y w-e-a-k w-o-m-a-n”.’ (Mr. Pilgrim gave this quotation with slow emphasis, as if he thought Mrs. Farquhar had uttered a remarkable sentiment.) ‘They find it impossible to invite her to their house while she has that equivocal person staying with her.’

‘Ah! I was talking to Mrs. Farquhar about that the other day. She said, “I think Mrs. Barton is a v-e-r-y w-e-a-k w-o-m-a-n.”’ (Mr. Pilgrim quoted this slowly, as if he believed Mrs. Farquhar had shared something profound.) ‘They find it impossible to invite her to their house while she has that questionable person staying with her.’

‘Well!’ remarked Miss Gibbs, ‘if I was a wife, nothing should induce me to bear what Mrs. Barton does.’

‘Well!’ said Miss Gibbs, ‘if I were a wife, nothing would make me put up with what Mrs. Barton does.’

‘Yes, it’s fine talking,’ said Mrs. Patten, from her pillow; ‘old maids’ husbands are al’ys well-managed. If you was a wife you’d be as foolish as your betters, belike.’

‘Yeah, it’s easy to talk,’ said Mrs. Patten, from her pillow; ‘old maids’ husbands are always well-managed. If you were a wife, you’d probably be just as foolish as those better off than you.’

‘All my wonder is,’ observed Mrs. Hackit, ‘how the Bartons make both ends meet. You may depend on it, she’s got nothing to give ’em; for I understand as he’s been having money from some clergy charity. They said at fust as she stuffed Mr. Barton wi’ notions about her writing to the Chancellor an’ her fine friends, to give him a living. Howiver, I don’t know what’s true an’ what’s false. Mr. Barton keeps away from our house now, for I gave him a bit o’ my mind one day. Maybe he’s ashamed of himself. He seems to me to look dreadful thin an’ harassed of a Sunday.’

“All I can wonder about,” Mrs. Hackit said, “is how the Bartons manage to make ends meet. You can bet she’s got nothing to offer them; I hear he’s been getting money from some clergy charity. At first, they said she was filling Mr. Barton’s head with ideas about writing to the Chancellor and her wealthy friends to help him get a job. Still, I don't know what’s true and what’s not. Mr. Barton stays away from our house now because I told him exactly what I thought one day. Maybe he’s embarrassed. He looks really thin and stressed on Sundays.”

‘O, he must be aware he’s getting into bad odour everywhere. The clergy are quite disgusted with his folly. They say Carpe would be glad to get Barton out of the curacy if he could; but he can’t do that without coming to Shepperton himself, as Barton’s a licensed curate; and he wouldn’t like that, I suppose.’

‘Oh, he must realize he’s getting a bad reputation everywhere. The clergy are really disgusted by his foolishness. They say Carpe would be happy to get Barton out of the curacy if he could; but he can’t do that without coming to Shepperton himself, since Barton’s a licensed curate; and I guess he wouldn’t want that.’

At this moment Mrs. Patten showed signs of uneasiness, which recalled Mr. Pilgrim to professional attentions; and Mrs. Hackit, observing that it was Thursday, and she must see after the butter, said good-bye, promising to look in again soon, and bring her knitting.

At this point, Mrs. Patten appeared a bit anxious, which reminded Mr. Pilgrim to focus on his professional duties; and Mrs. Hackit, noticing it was Thursday and she needed to check on the butter, said goodbye, promising to come back soon and bring her knitting.

This Thursday, by the by, is the first in the month—the day on which the Clerical Meeting is held at Milby Vicarage; and as the Rev. Amos Barton has reasons for not attending, he will very likely be a subject of conversation amongst his clerical brethren. Suppose we go there, and hear whether Mr. Pilgrim has reported their opinion correctly.

This Thursday, by the way, is the first of the month—the day when the Clerical Meeting takes place at Milby Vicarage; and since Rev. Amos Barton has his reasons for not being there, he’ll probably be a topic of discussion among his fellow clergy. Why don’t we go and see if Mr. Pilgrim has accurately reported their opinions?

There is not a numerous party to-day, for it is a season of sore throats and catarrhs; so that the exegetical and theological discussions, which are the preliminary of dining, have not been quite so spirited as usual; and although a question relative to the Epistle of Jude has not been quite cleared up, the striking of six by the church clock, and the simultaneous announcement of dinner, are sounds that no one feels to be importunate.

There aren’t many people here today because it’s the time of year for sore throats and colds; so the biblical and theological discussions that typically happen before dinner haven’t been as lively as usual. Although a question about the Epistle of Jude hasn’t been fully resolved, the striking of six by the church clock and the simultaneous announcement of dinner are sounds that no one finds annoying.

Pleasant (when one is not in the least bilious) to enter a comfortable dining-room, where the closely-drawn red curtains glow with the double light of fire and candle, where glass and silver are glittering on the pure damask, and a soup-tureen gives a hint of the fragrance that will presently rush out to inundate your hungry senses, and prepare them, by the delicate visitation of atoms, for the keen gusto of ampler contact! Especially if you have confidence in the dinner-giving capacity of your host—if you know that he is not a man who entertains grovelling views of eating and drinking as a mere satisfaction of hunger and thirst, and, dead to all the finer influences of the palate, expects his guest to be brilliant on ill-flavoured gravies and the cheapest Marsala. Mr. Ely was particularly worthy of such confidence, and his virtues as an Amphitryon had probably contributed quite as much as the central situation of Milby to the selection of his house as a clerical rendezvous. He looks particularly graceful at the head of his table, and, indeed, on all occasions where he acts as president or moderator: he is a man who seems to listen well, and is an excellent amalgam of dissimilar ingredients.

Pleasant (when you're not feeling queasy at all) to step into a cozy dining room, where the tightly drawn red curtains glow with the combined light of the fire and candles, where glass and silver shine on the pristine tablecloth, and a soup tureen hints at the delicious aroma that will soon flood your senses, preparing them with a gentle swirl of scents for the rich flavors to come! Especially if you trust your host's dinner skills—if you know he doesn’t see eating and drinking as just a way to satisfy hunger and thirst, and isn’t oblivious to the finer tastes of food, expecting you to be dazzled by bland sauces and cheap Marsala. Mr. Ely was especially deserving of such trust, and his qualities as a host likely played as much a role as Milby’s central location in making his home a popular spot for clergy gatherings. He looks particularly elegant at the head of his table, and, in fact, at any occasion where he takes the lead: he’s a person who really listens and is a great mix of different traits.

At the other end of the table, as ‘Vice’, sits Mr. Fellowes, rector and magistrate, a man of imposing appearance, with a mellifluous voice and the readiest of tongues. Mr. Fellowes once obtained a living by the persuasive charms of his conversation, and the fluency with which he interpreted the opinions of an obese and stammering baronet, so as to give that elderly gentleman a very pleasing perception of his own wisdom. Mr. Fellowes is a very successful man, and has the highest character everywhere except in his own parish, where, doubtless because his parishioners happen to be quarrelsome people, he is always at fierce feud with a farmer or two, a colliery proprietor, a grocer who was once churchwarden, and a tailor who formerly officiated as clerk.

At the other end of the table, in the role of 'Vice,' sits Mr. Fellowes, the rector and magistrate, a man with a commanding presence, a smooth voice, and a quick wit. Mr. Fellowes used to make a living with his charming conversation and his ability to make an overweight, stuttering baronet sound wise. Mr. Fellowes is quite successful and has a stellar reputation everywhere except in his own parish, where, likely due to his quarrelsome parishioners, he is always in a heated conflict with a couple of farmers, a coal mine owner, a grocer who used to be the churchwarden, and a tailor who previously served as the clerk.

At Mr. Ely’s right hand you see a very small man with a sallow and somewhat puffy face, whose hair is brushed straight up, evidently with the intention of giving him a height somewhat less disproportionate to his sense of his own importance than the measure of five feet three accorded him by an oversight of nature. This is Rev. Archibald Duke, a very dyspeptic and evangelical man, who takes the gloomiest view of mankind and their prospects, and thinks the immense sale of the ‘Pickwick Papers,’ recently completed, one of the strongest proofs of original sin. Unfortunately, though Mr. Duke was not burdened with a family, his yearly expenditure was apt considerably to exceed his income; and the unpleasant circumstances resulting from this, together with heavy meat-breakfasts, may probably have contributed to his desponding views of the world generally.

At Mr. Ely’s right hand, you see a very small man with a pale and slightly puffy face, whose hair is styled straight up, clearly trying to make himself appear taller so it doesn't seem so out of balance with his inflated sense of self-importance, which is somewhat diminished by his height of five feet three, a flaw of nature. This is Rev. Archibald Duke, a rather pessimistic and evangelical man, who holds the bleakest perspective on humanity and their future, believing that the massive sales of the ‘Pickwick Papers,’ which have just wrapped up, are one of the strongest indicators of original sin. Unfortunately, even though Mr. Duke didn’t have a family to support, his annual spending often exceeded his income by a significant amount; the unpleasant consequences of this, along with his heavy breakfasts, likely contributed to his gloomy outlook on life in general.

Next to him is seated Mr. Furness, a tall young man, with blond hair and whiskers, who was plucked at Cambridge entirely owing to his genius; at least I know that he soon afterwards published a volume of poems, which were considered remarkably beautiful by many young ladies of his acquaintance. Mr. Furness preached his own sermons, as any one of tolerable critical acumen might have certified by comparing them with his poems: in both, there was an exuberance of metaphor and simile entirely original, and not in the least borrowed from any resemblance in the things compared.

Next to him sits Mr. Furness, a tall young man with blond hair and facial hair, who got his degree at Cambridge largely because of his talent. At least, I know he later published a book of poems that many of the young women he knew found incredibly beautiful. Mr. Furness delivered his own sermons, as anyone with decent critical skills could confirm by comparing them to his poems: in both, there was an abundance of metaphor and simile that was completely original and not at all based on any similarities between the things being compared.

On Mr. Furness’s left you see Mr. Pugh, another young curate, of much less marked characteristics. He had not published any poems; he had not even been plucked; he had neat black whiskers and a pale complexion; read prayers and a sermon twice every Sunday, and might be seen any day sallying forth on his parochial duties in a white tie, a well-brushed hat, a perfect suit of black, and well-polished boots—an equipment which he probably supposed hieroglyphically to represent the spirit of Christianity to the parishioners of Whittlecombe.

On Mr. Furness’s left, you can see Mr. Pugh, another young curate, who is less distinctive. He hadn’t published any poems; he hadn't even been rejected; he had neat black sideburns and a pale complexion; he read prayers and a sermon twice every Sunday, and was often seen heading out on his parish duties in a white tie, a well-polished hat, a sharp black suit, and shiny boots—an outfit he likely thought symbolized the spirit of Christianity to the residents of Whittlecombe.

Mr. Pugh’s vis-a-vis is the Rev. Martin Cleves, a man about forty—middle-sized, broad-shouldered, with a negligently-tied cravat, large irregular features, and a large head, thickly covered with lanky brown hair. To a superficial glance, Mr. Cleves is the plainest and least clerical-looking of the party; yet, strange to say, there is the true parish priest, the pastor beloved, consulted, relied on by his flock; a clergyman who is not associated with the undertaker, but thought of as the surest helper under a difficulty, as a monitor who is encouraging rather than severe. Mr. Cleves has the wonderful art of preaching sermons which the wheelwright and the blacksmith can understand; not because he talks condescending twaddle, but because he can call a spade a spade, and knows how to disencumber ideas of their wordy frippery. Look at him more attentively, and you will see that his face is a very interesting one—that there is a great deal of humour and feeling playing in his grey eyes, and about the corners of his roughly-cut mouth: a man, you observe, who has most likely sprung from the harder-working section of the middle class, and has hereditary sympathies with the checkered life of the people. He gets together the working men in his parish on a Monday evening, and gives them a sort of conversational lecture on useful practical matters, telling them stories, or reading some select passages from an agreeable book, and commenting on them; and if you were to ask the first labourer or artisan in Tripplegate what sort of man the parson was, he would say,—‘a uncommon knowin’, sensable, free-spoken gentleman; very kind an’ good-natur’d too’. Yet for all this, he is perhaps the best Grecian of the party, if we except Mr. Baird, the young man on his left.

Mr. Pugh’s vis-a-vis is Reverend Martin Cleves, a man around forty—average height, broad-shouldered, with a loosely tied tie, large irregular features, and a big head, thick with messy brown hair. At first glance, Mr. Cleves seems to be the plainest and least formal-looking member of the group; yet, interestingly enough, he is the true parish priest, the beloved pastor, consulted and relied upon by his community; a clergyman who isn’t associated with the undertaker, but seen as the most reliable support during tough times, a mentor who is encouraging rather than strict. Mr. Cleves has the fantastic ability to deliver sermons that the wheelwright and blacksmith can grasp; not because he talks down to them, but because he speaks plainly and knows how to strip ideas of unnecessary fluff. Look at him a bit closer, and you’ll notice his face is quite interesting—there’s a lot of humor and emotion reflected in his grey eyes and around the corners of his roughly shaped mouth: a man, you can tell, who most likely comes from the hardworking part of the middle class and has inherited a sense of connection to the varied lives of the people. He gathers the working men in his parish on Monday evenings and gives them a sort of talk on useful practical topics, sharing stories or reading selected excerpts from an enjoyable book and commenting on them; and if you asked the first laborer or artisan in Tripplegate about the parson, they would say, ‘an exceptionally wise, sensible, straightforward gentleman; very kind and good-natured too.’ Yet despite all this, he’s probably the best Greek scholar in the group, unless you count Mr. Baird, the young man sitting to his left.

Mr. Baird has since gained considerable celebrity as an original writer and metropolitan lecturer, but at that time he used to preach in a little church something like a barn, to a congregation consisting of three rich farmers and their servants, about fifteen labourers, and the due proportion of women and children. The rich farmers understood him to be ‘very high learnt;’ but if you had interrogated them for a more precise description, they would have said that he was ‘a thinnish-faced man, with a sort o’ cast in his eye, like’.

Mr. Baird has since become quite famous as an original writer and city lecturer, but back then he preached in a small church that looked like a barn, to a congregation made up of three wealthy farmers and their servants, about fifteen laborers, and the usual number of women and children. The wealthy farmers thought he was 'very well educated;' but if you had asked them to describe him more clearly, they would have said he was 'a thin-faced guy, with a bit of a strange look in his eye, you know.'

Seven, altogether: a delightful number for a dinner-party, supposing the units to be delightful, but everything depends on that. During dinner Mr. Fellowes took the lead in the conversation, which set strongly in the direction of mangold-wurzel and the rotation of crops; for Mr. Fellowes and Mr. Cleves cultivated their own glebes. Mr. Ely, too, had some agricultural notions, and even the Rev. Archibald Duke was made alive to that class of mundane subjects by the possession of some potato-ground. The two young curates talked a little aside during these discussions, which had imperfect interest for their unbeneficed minds; and the transcendental and near-sighted Mr. Baird seemed to listen somewhat abstractedly, knowing little more of potatoes and mangold-wurzel than that they were some form of the ‘Conditioned’.

Seven in total: a pleasant number for a dinner party, assuming the guests are enjoyable, but that's what really matters. During dinner, Mr. Fellowes led the conversation, which quickly turned to mangold-wurzel and crop rotation; both he and Mr. Cleves had their own farmland. Mr. Ely also shared some farming ideas, and even the Rev. Archibald Duke became interested in such down-to-earth topics because he owned some potato land. The two young curates chatted a bit on the side during these talks, which didn’t hold much interest for their unbeneficed minds; and the visionary yet shortsighted Mr. Baird appeared to listen somewhat distractedly, knowing little beyond the fact that potatoes and mangold-wurzel were some kind of the ‘Conditioned’.

‘What a hobby farming is with Lord Watling!’ said Mr. Fellowes, when the cloth was being drawn. ‘I went over his farm at Tetterley with him last summer. It is really a model farm; first-rate dairy, grazing and wheat land, and such splendid farm-buildings! An expensive hobby, though. He sinks a good deal of money there, I fancy. He has a great whim for black cattle, and he sends that drunken old Scotch bailiff of his to Scotland every year, with hundreds in his pocket, to buy these beasts.’

‘What a hobby farming is for Lord Watling!’ said Mr. Fellowes, as the tablecloth was being pulled back. ‘I visited his farm at Tetterley with him last summer. It’s truly a model farm; top-notch dairy, grazing, and wheat fields, plus some amazing farm buildings! It’s an expensive hobby, though. He puts a lot of money into it, I think. He has a strong affection for black cattle, and he sends that drunken old Scottish bailiff of his to Scotland every year, with hundreds in his pocket, to buy these beasts.’

‘By the by,’ said Mr. Ely, ‘do you know who is the man to whom Lord Watling has given the Bramhill living?’

“By the way,” Mr. Ely said, “do you know who the guy is that Lord Watling has given the Bramhill living to?”

‘A man named Sargent. I knew him at Oxford. His brother is a lawyer, and was very useful to Lord Watling in that ugly Brounsell affair. That’s why Sargent got the living.’

‘A man named Sargent. I knew him at Oxford. His brother is a lawyer and was quite helpful to Lord Watling in that messy Brounsell case. That’s why Sargent got the position.’

‘Sargent,’ said Mr. Ely. ‘I know him. Isn’t he a showy, talkative fellow; has written travels in Mesopotamia, or something of that sort?’

‘Sargent,’ said Mr. Ely. ‘I know him. Isn’t he an flashy, chatty guy; has written about his travels in Mesopotamia, or something like that?’

‘That’s the man.’

‘That’s the guy.’

‘He was at Witherington once, as Bagshawe’s curate. He got into rather bad odour there, through some scandal about a flirtation, I think.’

‘He was at Witherington once, as Bagshawe’s assistant. He got into a bit of trouble there because of some scandal involving a flirtation, I believe.’

‘Talking of scandal,’ returned Mr. Fellowes, ‘have you heard the last story about Barton? Nisbett was telling me the other day that he dines alone with the Countess at six, while Mrs. Barton is in the kitchen acting as cook.’

‘Speaking of scandal,’ replied Mr. Fellowes, ‘have you heard the latest story about Barton? Nisbett was telling me the other day that he has dinner alone with the Countess at six, while Mrs. Barton is in the kitchen cooking.’

‘Rather an apocryphal authority, Nisbett,’ said Mr. Ely.

‘Rather a questionable authority, Nisbett,’ said Mr. Ely.

‘Ah,’ said Mr. Cleves, with good-natured humour twinkling in his eyes, ‘depend upon it, that is a corrupt version. The original text is, that they all dined together with six—meaning six children—and that Mrs. Barton is an excellent cook.’

‘Ah,’ said Mr. Cleves, with friendly humor sparkling in his eyes, ‘you can bet that’s a distorted version. The original text says that they all dined together with six—meaning six children—and that Mrs. Barton is a great cook.’

‘I wish dining alone together may be the worst of that sad business,’ said the Rev. Archibald Duke, in a tone implying that his wish was a strong figure of speech.

‘I hope that dining alone together will be the worst part of that unfortunate situation,’ said the Rev. Archibald Duke, in a tone that suggested his hope was more than just a figure of speech.

‘Well,’ said Mr. Fellowes, filling his glass and looking jocose, ‘Barton is certainly either the greatest gull in existence, or he has some cunning secret,—some philtre or other to make himself charming in the eyes of a fair lady. It isn’t all of us that can make conquests when our ugliness is past its bloom.’

‘Well,’ said Mr. Fellowes, filling his glass and looking cheerful, ‘Barton is definitely either the biggest fool alive, or he has some clever trick—some potion or something that makes him charming in the eyes of a beautiful woman. Not all of us can win hearts when our looks have faded.’

‘The lady seemed to have made a conquest of him at the very outset,’ said Mr. Ely. ‘I was immensely amused one night at Granby’s when he was telling us her story about her husband’s adventures. He said, “When she told me the tale, I felt I don’t know how,—I felt it from the crown of my head to the sole of my feet.”’

‘The lady seemed to have won him over right from the start,’ Mr. Ely said. ‘I was really entertained one night at Granby’s when he shared her story about her husband’s adventures. He said, “When she told me the story, I felt something I can’t quite describe—I felt it from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.”’

Mr. Ely gave these words dramatically, imitating the Rev. Amos’s fervour and symbolic action, and every one laughed except Mr. Duke, whose after-dinner view of things was not apt to be jovial. He said,—‘I think some of us ought to remonstrate with Mr. Barton on the scandal he is causing. He is not only imperilling his own soul, but the souls of his flock.’

Mr. Ely delivered these words dramatically, mimicking Rev. Amos’s passion and gestures, and everyone laughed except Mr. Duke, whose take on things after dinner was usually not cheerful. He said, “I think some of us should speak up to Mr. Barton about the scandal he’s creating. He’s not just jeopardizing his own soul, but also the souls of his congregation.”

‘Depend upon it,’ said Mr. Cleves, ‘there is some simple explanation of the whole affair, if we only happened to know it. Barton has always impressed me as a right-minded man, who has the knack of doing himself injustice by his manner.’

‘You can bet on it,’ said Mr. Cleves, ‘there’s a straightforward explanation for the whole thing, if we just knew what it was. Barton has always struck me as a decent guy, who tends to sell himself short with how he acts.’

‘Now I never liked Barton,’ said Mr. Fellowes. ‘He’s not a gentleman. Why, he used to be on terms of intimacy with that canting Prior, who died a little while ago;—a fellow who soaked himself with spirits, and talked of the Gospel through an inflamed nose.’

‘Now I never liked Barton,’ said Mr. Fellowes. ‘He’s not a gentleman. He used to be close with that preachy Prior, who died not too long ago; a guy who drank himself silly and talked about the Gospel with a red nose.’

‘The Countess has given him more refined tastes, I daresay,’ said Mr. Ely.

"The Countess has given him more sophisticated tastes, I dare say," said Mr. Ely.

‘Well,’ observed Mr. Cleves, ‘the poor fellow must have a hard pull to get along, with his small income and large family. Let us hope the Countess does something towards making the pot boil.’

‘Well,’ noted Mr. Cleves, ‘the poor guy must have a tough time managing with his low income and big family. Let’s hope the Countess helps out to make ends meet.’

‘Not she,’ said Mr. Duke; ‘there are greater signs of poverty about them than ever.’

‘Not her,’ said Mr. Duke; ‘there are more obvious signs of poverty around them than ever.’

‘Well, come,’ returned Mr. Cleves, who could be caustic sometimes, and who was not at all fond of his reverend brother, Mr. Duke, ‘that’s something in Barton’s favour at all events. He might be poor without showing signs of poverty.’

‘Well, come on,’ replied Mr. Cleves, who could be sharp at times and wasn’t particularly fond of his clergyman brother, Mr. Duke, ‘that’s something in Barton’s favor, at least. He might be broke without looking poor.’

Mr. Duke turned rather yellow, which was his way of blushing, and Mr. Ely came to his relief by observing,—‘They’re making a very good piece of work of Shepperton Church. Dolby, the architect, who has it in hand, is a very clever fellow.’

Mr. Duke turned a bit pale, which was his way of blushing, and Mr. Ely helped him out by saying, "They’re doing great work on Shepperton Church. Dolby, the architect overseeing it, is very talented."

‘It’s he who has been doing Coppleton Church,’ said Mr. Furness. ‘They’ve got it in excellent order for the visitation.’

‘He’s the one who’s been taking care of Coppleton Church,’ said Mr. Furness. ‘They’ve got it in great shape for the visitation.’

This mention of the visitation suggested the Bishop, and thus opened a wide duct, which entirely diverted the stream of animadversion from that small pipe—that capillary vessel, the Rev. Amos Barton.

This mention of the visit hinted at the Bishop, and it created a broad channel that completely redirected the flow of criticism away from that small pipe— that tiny vessel, the Rev. Amos Barton.

The talk of the clergy about their Bishop belongs to the esoteric part of their profession; so we will at once quit the dining-room at Milby Vicarage, lest we should happen to overhear remarks unsuited to the lay understanding, and perhaps dangerous to our repose of mind.

The discussions among the clergy about their Bishop are part of the more specialized aspect of their profession; so we'll leave the dining room at Milby Vicarage right away, so we don't accidentally overhear comments that wouldn't make sense to us and might disturb our peace of mind.

Chapter 7

I dare say the long residence of the Countess Czerlaski at Shepperton Vicarage is very puzzling to you also, dear reader, as well as to Mr. Barton’s clerical brethren; the more so, as I hope you are not in the least inclined to put that very evil interpretation on it which evidently found acceptance with the sallow and dyspeptic Mr. Duke, and with the florid and highly peptic Mr. Fellowes. You have seen enough, I trust, of the Rev. Amos Barton, to be convinced that he was more apt to fall into a blunder than into a sin—more apt to be deceived than to incur a necessity for being deceitful: and if you have a keen eye for physiognomy, you will have detected that the Countess Czerlaski loved herself far too well to get entangled in an unprofitable vice.

I’m sure the Countess Czerlaski’s long stay at Shepperton Vicarage is quite puzzling to you too, dear reader, just like it is for Mr. Barton’s clergy colleagues; especially since I hope you’re not at all tempted to see it in the negative light that apparently appealed to the pale and sickly Mr. Duke, and to the robust and healthy Mr. Fellowes. You’ve witnessed enough of Rev. Amos Barton to be convinced that he was more likely to make a mistake than to commit a wrongdoing—more likely to be fooled than to need to be deceitful: and if you pay attention to faces, you’ll have noticed that the Countess Czerlaski cared for herself too much to get involved in a pointless vice.

How then, you will say, could this fine lady choose to quarter herself on the establishment of a poor curate, where the carpets were probably falling into holes, where the attendance was limited to a maid of all work, and where six children were running loose from eight o’clock in the morning till eight o’clock in the evening? Surely you must be misrepresenting the facts.

How then, you might ask, could this classy lady decide to stay with a struggling priest, where the carpets were probably full of holes, where there was only a maid to help out, and where six kids were running around from eight in the morning until eight at night? You must be misrepresenting the situation.

Heaven forbid! For not having a lofty imagination, as you perceive, and being unable to invent thrilling incidents for your amusement, my only merit must lie in the truth with which I represent to you the humble experience of an ordinary fellow-mortal. I wish to stir your sympathy with commonplace troubles—to win your tears for real sorrow: sorrow such as may live next door to you—such as walks neither in rags nor in velvet, but in very ordinary decent apparel.

Heaven forbid! Because I don’t have a grand imagination, as you see, and can’t come up with exciting stories for your entertainment, my only strength must be in the honesty with which I share the simple experiences of an average person. I want to elicit your sympathy for everyday struggles—to earn your tears for real pain: pain that could easily be happening next door to you—pain that doesn't wear rags or fancy clothes, but rather very ordinary, decent attire.

Therefore, that you may dismiss your suspicions of my veracity, I will beg you to consider, that at the time the Countess Czerlaski left Camp Villa in dudgeon, she had only twenty pounds in her pocket, being about one-third of the income she possessed independently of her brother. You will then perceive that she was in the extremely inconvenient predicament of having quarrelled, not indeed with her bread and cheese, but certainly with her chicken and tart—a predicament all the more inconvenient to her, because the habit of idleness had quite unfitted her for earning those necessary superfluities, and because, with all her fascinations, she had not secured any enthusiastic friends whose houses were open to her, and who were dying to see her. Thus she had completely checkmated herself, unless she could resolve on one unpleasant move—namely, to humble herself to her brother, and recognize his wife. This seemed quite impossible to her as long as she entertained the hope that he would make the first advances; and in this flattering hope she remained month after month at Shepperton Vicarage, gracefully overlooking the deficiencies of accommodation, and feeling that she was really behaving charmingly. ‘Who indeed,’ she thought to herself, ‘could do otherwise, with a lovely, gentle creature like Milly? I shall really be sorry to leave the poor thing.’

So that you can stop doubting my honesty, let me point out that when Countess Czerlaski stormed out of Camp Villa, she had only twenty pounds in her pocket, which was about a third of her income apart from what she got from her brother. You’ll see that she found herself in a really tricky situation—she hadn’t exactly fought with her basic necessities, but she had definitely fallen out over her luxuries. This was especially tough for her because being idle had made her completely unprepared to earn those little extras, and despite her charm, she hadn’t made any devoted friends who would welcome her with open arms. She had essentially put herself in checkmate unless she was willing to make one very unpleasant move: swallow her pride and reconcile with her brother, acknowledging his wife. This felt impossible to her as long as she held onto the hope that he would reach out first. Clinging to this hopeful thought, she lingered for months at Shepperton Vicarage, gracefully ignoring the lack of comfort and convincing herself she was behaving wonderfully. ‘Who could blame me,’ she mused, ‘for feeling this way, with such a sweet, gentle soul like Milly? I’ll genuinely miss the poor girl.’

So, though she lay in bed till ten, and came down to a separate breakfast at eleven, she kindly consented to dine as early as five, when a hot joint was prepared, which coldly furnished forth the children’s table the next day; she considerately prevented Milly from devoting herself too closely to the children, by insisting on reading, talking, and walking with her; and she even began to embroider a cap for the next baby, which must certainly be a girl, and be named Caroline.

So, even though she stayed in bed until ten and had a separate breakfast at eleven, she generously agreed to have dinner as early as five, when a hot roast was ready, which would be served cold at the kids' table the following day. She thoughtfully kept Milly from getting too focused on the children by insisting they read, talk, and walk together; and she even started to embroider a cap for the next baby, who is definitely going to be a girl and will be named Caroline.

After the first month or two of her residence at the Vicarage, the Rev. Amos Barton became aware—as, indeed, it was unavoidable that he should—of the strong disapprobation it drew upon him, and the change of feeling towards him which it was producing in his kindest parishioners. But, in the first place, he still believed in the Countess as a charming and influential woman, disposed to befriend him, and, in any case, he could hardly hint departure to a lady guest who had been kind to him and his, and who might any day spontaneously announce the termination of her visit; in the second place, he was conscious of his own innocence, and felt some contemptuous indignation towards people who were ready to imagine evil of him; and, lastly, he had, as I have already intimated, a strong will of his own, so that a certain obstinacy and defiance mingled itself with his other feelings on the subject.

After the first month or two of her stay at the Vicarage, Rev. Amos Barton noticed—because it was impossible not to—the strong disapproval directed at him and the shift in feelings among his kindest parishioners. But, first, he still saw the Countess as a charming and influential woman who might support him, and he could hardly suggest that a lady guest, who had been kind to him and his family, leave, especially when she might decide to end her visit on her own. Second, he was aware of his own innocence and felt a mix of contempt and indignation towards those who were quick to assume the worst about him. Lastly, as I’ve already mentioned, he had a strong will, which added a certain stubbornness and defiance to his feelings on the matter.

The one unpleasant consequence which was not to be evaded or counteracted by any mere mental state, was the increasing drain on his slender purse for household expenses, to meet which the remittance he had received from the clerical charity threatened to be quite inadequate. Slander may be defeated by equanimity; but courageous thoughts will not pay your baker’s bill, and fortitude is nowhere considered legal tender for beef. Month after month the financial aspect of the Rev. Amos’s affairs became more and more serious to him, and month after month, too, wore away more and more of that armour of indignation and defiance with which he had at first defended himself from the harsh looks of faces that were once the friendliest.

The one bad outcome that couldn't be avoided or fixed by any mental state was the growing strain on his limited budget for household expenses. The money he received from the clerical charity was proving to be totally insufficient. You can deal with slander by staying calm, but positive thoughts won’t pay your baker’s bill, and bravery isn't recognized as valid currency for meat. Month after month, the financial situation of Rev. Amos became more and more serious to him, and month after month, it chipped away at the armor of indignation and defiance he initially used to shield himself from the unfriendly stares of faces that used to be so friendly.

But quite the heaviest pressure of the trouble fell on Milly—on gentle, uncomplaining Milly—whose delicate body was becoming daily less fit for all the many things that had to be done between rising up and lying down. At first, she thought the Countess’s visit would not last long, and she was quite glad to incur extra exertion for the sake of making her friend comfortable. I can hardly bear to think of all the rough work she did with those lovely hands—all by the sly, without letting her husband know anything about it, and husbands are not clairvoyant: how she salted bacon, ironed shirts and cravats, put patches on patches, and re-darned darns. Then there was the task of mending and eking out baby-linen in prospect, and the problem perpetually suggesting itself how she and Nanny should manage when there was another baby, as there would be before very many months were past.

But the biggest burden of the trouble fell on Milly—on sweet, uncomplaining Milly—whose fragile body was becoming less and less capable of handling all the many tasks that needed to be done from morning to night. At first, she thought the Countess’s visit wouldn’t last long, and she was actually happy to put in extra effort to make her friend comfortable. I can barely stand to think about all the hard work she did with those beautiful hands—all secretly, without letting her husband know anything about it, and husbands aren’t mind readers: how she salted bacon, ironed shirts and ties, patched up patches, and re-darned darns. Then there was the looming task of repairing and making do with baby clothes, and the ongoing concern of how she and Nanny would manage when there was another baby, which was certain to happen in just a few months.

When time glided on, and the Countess’s visit did not end, Milly was not blind to any phase of their position. She knew of the slander; she was aware of the keeping aloof of old friends; but these she felt almost entirely on her husband’s account. A loving woman’s world lies within the four walls of her own home; and it is only through her husband that she is in any electric communication with the world beyond. Mrs. Simpkins may have looked scornfully at her, but baby crows and holds out his little arms none the less blithely; Mrs. Tomkins may have left off calling on her, but her husband comes home none the less to receive her care and caresses; it has been wet and gloomy out of doors to-day, but she has looked well after the shirt buttons, has cut out baby’s pinafores, and half finished Willy’s blouse.

As time went on and the Countess’s visit continued, Milly was aware of every aspect of their situation. She knew about the gossip and noticed that old friends were keeping their distance, but she sensed all of this was mainly for her husband’s sake. A loving woman finds her world within the four walls of her home, and it’s only through her husband that she connects with the outside world. Mrs. Simpkins might look at her with disdain, but the baby still reaches out his little arms happily; Mrs. Tomkins might have stopped visiting her, but her husband still comes home to receive her love and care. It’s been wet and gloomy outside today, but she has taken good care of the shirt buttons, cut out the baby’s pinafores, and nearly finished Willy’s blouse.

So it was with Milly. She was only vexed that her husband should be vexed—only wounded because he was misconceived. But the difficulty about ways and means she felt in quite a different manner. Her rectitude was alarmed lest they should have to make tradesmen wait for their money; her motherly love dreaded the diminution of comforts for the children; and the sense of her own failing health gave exaggerated force to these fears.

So it was with Milly. She was only annoyed that her husband should be upset—only hurt because he was misunderstood. But the issue about finances affected her in a completely different way. Her sense of right and wrong was troubled at the thought of making vendors wait for their payments; her maternal instincts feared a reduction in comfort for the kids; and her awareness of her own declining health intensified these worries.

Milly could no longer shut her eyes to the fact, that the Countess was inconsiderate, if she did not allow herself to entertain severer thoughts; and she began to feel that it would soon be a duty to tell her frankly that they really could not afford to have her visit farther prolonged. But a process was going forward in two other minds, which ultimately saved Milly from having to perform this painful task.

Milly could no longer ignore the fact that the Countess was inconsiderate, even if she tried to avoid harsher thoughts; and she started to realize that it would soon be her responsibility to tell her honestly that they really couldn’t afford to have her visit extended any longer. But there was a process happening in two other minds that ultimately spared Milly from having to take on this uncomfortable task.

In the first place, the Countess was getting weary of Shepperton—weary of waiting for her brother’s overtures which never came; so, one fine morning, she reflected that forgiveness was a Christian duty, that a sister should be placable, that Mr. Bridmain must feel the need of her advice, to which he had been accustomed for three years, and that very likely ‘that woman’ didn’t make the poor man happy. In this amiable frame of mind she wrote a very affectionate appeal, and addressed it to Mr. Bridmain, through his banker.

First of all, the Countess was getting tired of Shepperton—tired of waiting for her brother’s invitations that never came; so, one beautiful morning, she realized that forgiveness was a Christian duty, that a sister should be understanding, and that Mr. Bridmain must be missing her advice, which he had relied on for three years, and that likely ‘that woman’ wasn’t making him happy. In this positive mindset, she wrote a very heartfelt letter and sent it to Mr. Bridmain through his banker.

Another mind that was being wrought up to a climax was Nanny’s, the maid-of-all-work, who had a warm heart and a still warmer temper. Nanny adored her mistress: she had been heard to say, that she was ‘ready to kiss the ground as the missis trod on’; and Walter, she considered, was her baby, of whom she was as jealous as a lover. But she had, from the first, very slight admiration for the Countess Czerlaski. That lady, from Nanny’s point of view, was a personage always ‘drawed out i’ fine clothes’, the chief result of whose existence was to cause additional bed-making, carrying of hot water, laying of table-cloths, and cooking of dinners. It was a perpetually heightening ‘aggravation’ to Nanny that she and her mistress had to ‘slave’ more than ever, because there was this fine lady in the house.

Another mind that was reaching a breaking point was Nanny’s, the maid-of-all-work, who had a big heart and an even bigger temper. Nanny adored her boss; she’d been heard saying that she was 'ready to kiss the ground as the missis walked on'; and Walter, she thought of as her baby, about whom she felt as jealous as a lover. However, she had very little admiration for the Countess Czerlaski from the start. To Nanny, that lady was just someone who always showed up in fancy clothes, and the main result of her existence was to create more work—extra bed-making, carrying hot water, setting the table, and cooking dinners. It was an ongoing source of irritation for Nanny that she and her mistress had to work harder than ever because this high-society lady was in the house.

‘An’ she pays nothin’ for’t neither,’ observed Nanny to Mr. Jacob Tomms, a young gentleman in the tailoring line, who occasionally—simply out of a taste for dialogue—looked into the vicarage kitchen of an evening. ‘I know the master’s shorter o’ money than iver, an’ it meks no end o’ difference i’ th’ housekeepin’—her bein’ here, besides bein’ obliged to have a charwoman constant.’

‘And she doesn’t pay anything for it either,’ Nanny said to Mr. Jacob Tomms, a young man in tailoring who sometimes—just for the sake of conversation—stopped by the vicarage kitchen in the evenings. ‘I know the master’s shorter on money than ever, and it makes a huge difference in the household—her being here, plus they have to have a cleaning lady all the time.’

‘There’s fine stories i’ the village about her,’ said Mr. Tomms. ‘They say as Muster Barton’s great wi’ her, or else she’d niver stop here.’

'There's some good stories in the village about her,' said Mr. Tomms. 'They say that Master Barton is really into her, or else she would never stay here.'

‘Then they say a passill o’ lies, an’ you ought to be ashamed to go an’ tell ’em o’er again. Do you think as the master, as has got a wife like the missis, ’ud go running arter a stuck-up piece o’ goods like that Countess, as isn’t fit to black the missis’s shoes? I’m none so fond o’ the master, but I know better on him nor that.’

‘Then they spread a bunch of lies, and you should be ashamed to repeat them. Do you think the master, who has a wife like the missus, would chase after a stuck-up woman like that Countess, who isn't fit to black the missus's shoes? I may not be a big fan of the master, but I know him better than that.’

‘Well, I didn’t b’lieve it,’ said Mr. Tomms, humbly.

‘Well, I didn’t believe it,’ said Mr. Tomms, humbly.

‘B’lieve it? you’d ha’ been a ninny if yer did. An’ she’s a nasty, stingy thing, that Countess. She’s niver giv me a sixpence nor an old rag neither, sin’ here’s she’s been. A-lyin’ a bed an a-comin’ down to breakfast when other folks wants their dinner!’

‘Believe it? You’d have to be a fool if you did. And she’s a nasty, stingy person, that Countess. She’s never given me a sixpence or even an old rag since she got here. Lying in bed and coming down for breakfast when other people want their dinner!’

If such was the state of Nanny’s mind as early as the end of August, when this dialogue with Mr. Tomms occurred, you may imagine what it must have been by the beginning of November, and that at that time a very slight spark might any day cause the long-smouldering anger to flame forth in open indignation.

If Nanny was feeling this way by the end of August during her conversation with Mr. Tomms, you can imagine how she must have felt by the beginning of November, when even a small spark could easily ignite her long-simmering anger into open outrage.

That spark happened to fall the very morning that Mrs. Hackit paid the visit to Mrs. Patten, recorded in the last chapter. Nanny’s dislike of the Countess extended to the innocent dog Jet, whom she ‘couldn’t a-bear to see made a fuss wi’ like a Christian. An’ the little ouzle must be washed, too, ivery Saturday, as if there wasn’t children enoo to wash, wi’out washin’ dogs.’

That spark happened to ignite on the very morning that Mrs. Hackit visited Mrs. Patten, as mentioned in the last chapter. Nanny’s dislike for the Countess also extended to the innocent dog Jet, whom she "couldn't stand to see treated like a person. And the little bird has to be washed too, every Saturday, as if there weren’t enough kids to wash without having to wash dogs."

Now this particular morning it happened that Milly was quite too poorly to get up, and Mr. Barton observed to Nanny, on going out, that he would call and tell Mr. Brand to come. These circumstances were already enough to make Nanny anxious and susceptible. But the Countess, comfortably ignorant of them, came down as usual about eleven o’clock to her separate breakfast, which stood ready for her at that hour in the parlour; the kettle singing on the hob that she might make her own tea. There was a little jug of cream, taken according to custom from last night’s milk, and specially saved for the Countess’s breakfast. Jet always awaited his mistress at her bedroom door, and it was her habit to carry him down-stairs.

Now, on this particular morning, Milly was feeling too unwell to get out of bed, and Mr. Barton mentioned to Nanny, on his way out, that he would go and ask Mr. Brand to come over. These situations were already enough to make Nanny worried and sensitive. But the Countess, blissfully unaware of any issues, came down as usual around eleven o’clock for her private breakfast, which was ready for her in the parlor at that time; the kettle was singing on the stove so she could make her own tea. There was a small jug of cream, saved from the milk of the previous night, specifically set aside for the Countess’s breakfast. Jet always waited for his owner at her bedroom door, and it was her routine to carry him downstairs.

‘Now, my little Jet,’ she said, putting him down gently on the hearth-rug, ‘you shall have a nice, nice breakfast.’

‘Now, my little Jet,’ she said, gently setting him down on the hearth rug, ‘you’re going to have a lovely breakfast.’

Jet indicated that he thought that observation extremely pertinent and well-timed, by immediately raising himself on his hind-legs, and the Countess emptied the cream-jug into the saucer. Now there was usually a small jug of milk standing on the tray by the side of the cream, and destined for Jet’s breakfast, but this morning Nanny, being ‘moithered’, had forgotten that part of the arrangements, so that when the Countess had made her tea, she perceived there was no second jug, and rang the bell. Nanny appeared, looking very red and heated—the fact was, she had been ‘doing up’ the kitchen fire, and that is a sort of work which by no means conduces to blandness of temper. ‘Nanny, you have forgotten Jet’s milk; will you bring me some more cream, please?’

Jet showed that he thought that observation was really relevant and well-timed by immediately sitting up on his hind legs, and the Countess poured the cream into the saucer. Typically, there was a small jug of milk on the tray next to the cream, meant for Jet's breakfast, but that morning Nanny, feeling overwhelmed, had forgotten that part of the arrangements. So, when the Countess finished making her tea, she noticed there was no second jug and rang the bell. Nanny appeared, looking very flustered—the truth was, she had been tending to the kitchen fire, and that kind of work definitely doesn't help with staying calm. "Nanny, you've forgotten Jet's milk; could you bring me some more cream, please?"

This was just a little too much for Nanny’s forbearance. ‘Yes, I dare say. Here am I wi’ my hands full o’ the children an’ the dinner, and missis ill a-bed, and Mr. Brand a-comin’; and I must run o’er the village to get more cream, ’cause you’ve give it to that nasty little blackamoor.’

This was just a bit too much for Nanny’s patience. ‘Yeah, I suppose so. Here I am with my hands full of the kids and dinner, the missus sick in bed, and Mr. Brand on his way; and I have to run around the village to get more cream because you gave it to that nasty little kid.’

‘Is Mrs. Barton ill?’

"Is Mrs. Barton sick?"

‘Ill—yes—I should think she is ill, an’ much you care. She’s likely to be ill, moithered as she is from mornin’ to night, wi’ folks as had better be elsewhere.’

‘Sick—yeah—I would say she is sick, and you clearly don’t care. She’s probably feeling unwell, bothered as she is from morning to night, with people who should be somewhere else.’

‘What do you mean by behaving in this way?’

‘What do you mean by acting like this?’

‘Mean? Why I mean as the missis is a slavin’ her life out an’ a-sittin’ up o’nights, for folks as are better able to wait of her, i’stid o’ lyin’ a-bed an’ doin’ nothin’ all the blessed day, but mek work.’

'Mean? I mean the missus is exhausting herself and staying up at night for people who are more capable of waiting on her, instead of lying in bed and doing nothing all day but making work.'

‘Leave the room and don’t be insolent.’

‘Leave the room and don’t be disrespectful.’

‘Insolent! I’d better be insolent than like what some folks is,—a-livin’ on other folks, an’ bringin’ a bad name on ’em into the bargain.’

‘Arrogant! I’d rather be arrogant than be like some people—living off others and dragging their reputation down in the process.’

Here Nanny flung out of the room, leaving the lady to digest this unexpected breakfast at her leisure.

Here Nanny stormed out of the room, leaving the lady to take in this surprising breakfast at her own pace.

The Countess was stunned for a few minutes, but when she began to recall Nanny’s words, there was no possibility of avoiding very unpleasant conclusions from them, or of failing to see her position at the Vicarage in an entirely new light. The interpretation too of Nanny’s allusion to a ‘bad name’ did not lie out of the reach of the Countess’s imagination, and she saw the necessity of quitting Shepperton without delay. Still, she would like to wait for her brother’s letter—no—she would ask Milly to forward it to her—still better, she would go at once to London, inquire her brother’s address at his banker’s, and go to see him without preliminary.

The Countess was shocked for a few minutes, but as she started to think about Nanny’s words, it became clear that there were some very unpleasant conclusions to be drawn from them, and she began to see her situation at the Vicarage in a completely different light. The meaning behind Nanny’s mention of a ‘bad name’ was also within the Countess’s grasp, and she realized she needed to leave Shepperton immediately. Still, she wanted to wait for her brother’s letter—no—she would ask Milly to send it to her—better yet, she would go straight to London, find out her brother’s address at his bank, and go see him without any delay.

She went up to Milly’s room, and, after kisses and inquiries, said—‘I find, on consideration, dear Milly, from the letter I had yesterday, that I must bid you good-bye and go up to London at once. But you must not let me leave you ill, you naughty thing.’

She went up to Milly’s room, and after some kisses and questions, said, “I’ve thought it over, dear Milly, and from the letter I received yesterday, I have to say goodbye and head to London right away. But you better not let me leave you feeling sick, you naughty girl.”

‘Oh no,’ said Milly, who felt as if a load had been taken off her back, ‘I shall be very well in an hour or two. Indeed, I’m much better now. You will want me to help you to pack. But you won’t go for two or three days?’

‘Oh no,’ Milly said, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, ‘I’ll be completely fine in an hour or two. In fact, I’m already feeling better. You’ll want me to help you pack. But you aren’t leaving for two or three days, right?’

‘Yes, I must go to-morrow. But I shall not let you help me to pack, so don’t entertain any unreasonable projects, but lie still. Mr. Brand is coming, Nanny says.’

‘Yes, I have to go tomorrow. But I won’t let you help me pack, so don’t entertain any unrealistic ideas, just lie still. Mr. Brand is coming, Nanny says.’

The news was not an unpleasant surprise to Mr. Barton when he came home, though he was able to express more regret at the idea of parting than Milly could summon to her lips. He retained more of his original feeling for the Countess than Milly did, for women never betray themselves to men as they do to each other; and the Rev. Amos had not a keen instinct for character. But he felt that he was being relieved from a difficulty, and in the way that was easiest for him. Neither he nor Milly suspected that it was Nanny who had cut the knot for them, for the Countess took care to give no sign on that subject. As for Nanny, she was perfectly aware of the relation between cause and effect in the affair, and secretly chuckled over her outburst of ‘sauce’ as the best morning’s work she had ever done.

The news wasn't an unwelcome surprise for Mr. Barton when he got home, although he could show more regret about the idea of leaving than Milly could express. He held onto more of his original feelings for the Countess than Milly did, since women don’t reveal their true feelings to men as they do to each other; and Rev. Amos lacked a sharp sense of character. However, he felt relieved from a dilemma in the way that was easiest for him. Neither he nor Milly realized that it was Nanny who had untangled the situation for them, as the Countess made sure to give no hint about it. Nanny, on the other hand, was fully aware of the connection between cause and effect in the situation and secretly laughed at her outburst of ‘sauce’ as the best achievement she had ever accomplished that morning.

So, on Friday morning, a fly was seen standing at the Vicarage gate with the Countess’s boxes packed upon it; and presently that lady herself was seen getting into the vehicle. After a last shake of the hand to Mr. Barton, and last kisses to Milly and the children, the door was closed; and as the fly rolled off, the little party at the Vicarage gate caught a last glimpse of the handsome Countess leaning and waving kisses from the carriage window. Jet’s little black phiz was also seen, and doubtless he had his thoughts and feelings on the occasion, but he kept them strictly within his own bosom.

So, on Friday morning, a carriage was seen at the Vicarage gate with the Countess’s luggage loaded onto it, and soon after, the Countess herself got into the vehicle. After a final handshake with Mr. Barton and a few last kisses for Milly and the kids, the door was shut; and as the carriage drove away, the small group at the Vicarage gate caught a last glimpse of the beautiful Countess leaning out and blowing kisses from the window. Jet's little black face was also visible, and he surely had his own thoughts and feelings about the moment, but he kept those to himself.

The schoolmistress opposite witnessed this departure, and lost no time in telling it to the schoolmaster, who again communicated the news to the landlord of ‘The Jolly Colliers’, at the close of the morning school-hours. Nanny poured the joyful tidings into the ear of Mr. Farquhar’s footman, who happened to call with a letter, and Mr. Brand carried them to all the patients he visited that morning, after calling on Mrs. Barton. So that, before Sunday, it was very generally known in Shepperton parish that the Countess Czerlaski had left the Vicarage.

The schoolmistress across the way saw this departure and quickly told the schoolmaster, who then shared the news with the landlord of ‘The Jolly Colliers’ at the end of the morning classes. Nanny excitedly passed on the news to Mr. Farquhar’s footman, who happened to drop by with a letter, and Mr. Brand shared it with all the patients he visited that morning, after stopping by to see Mrs. Barton. By the time Sunday rolled around, it was widely known in Shepperton parish that the Countess Czerlaski had left the Vicarage.

The Countess had left, but alas, the bills she had contributed to swell still remained; so did the exiguity of the children’s clothing, which also was partly an indirect consequence of her presence; and so, too, did the coolness and alienation in the parishioners, which could not at once vanish before the fact of her departure. The Rev. Amos was not exculpated—the past was not expunged. But what was worse than all, Milly’s health gave frequent cause for alarm, and the prospect of baby’s birth was overshadowed by more than the usual fears. The birth came prematurely, about six weeks after the Countess’s departure, but Mr. Brand gave favourable reports to all inquirers on the following day, which was Saturday. On Sunday, after morning service, Mrs. Hackit called at the Vicarage to inquire how Mrs. Barton was, and was invited up-stairs to see her. Milly lay placid and lovely in her feebleness, and held out her hand to Mrs. Hackit with a beaming smile. It was very pleasant to her to see her old friend unreserved and cordial once more. The seven months’ baby was very tiny and very red, but ‘handsome is that handsome does’—he was pronounced to be ‘doing well’, and Mrs. Hackit went home gladdened at heart to think that the perilous hour was over.

The Countess had left, but unfortunately, the bills she had helped rack up still lingered; so did the shortage of the children’s clothing, which was also partly a result of her presence; and so did the coolness and distance among the parishioners, which couldn’t just vanish because she was gone. The Rev. Amos wasn’t freed from blame—the past wasn’t erased. But worse than everything, Milly’s health was a constant concern, and the upcoming birth of the baby was clouded by more fears than usual. The baby was born prematurely, about six weeks after the Countess left, but Mr. Brand gave good updates to anyone who asked the next day, which was Saturday. On Sunday, after the morning service, Mrs. Hackit stopped by the Vicarage to check on Mrs. Barton and was invited upstairs to see her. Milly lay calm and beautiful in her weakness and reached out her hand to Mrs. Hackit with a bright smile. It was very nice for her to see her old friend being warm and friendly again. The seven-month-old baby was very tiny and very red, but “handsome is as handsome does”—he was declared to be “doing well,” and Mrs. Hackit went home feeling joyful to know that the dangerous moment was over.

Chapter 8

The following Wednesday, when Mr. and Mrs. Hackit were seated comfortably by their bright hearth, enjoying the long afternoon afforded by an early dinner, Rachel, the housemaid, came in and said,—‘If you please ’m, the shepherd says, have you heard as Mrs. Barton’s wuss, and not expected to live?’

The following Wednesday, when Mr. and Mrs. Hackit were settled comfortably by their warm fireplace, enjoying the long afternoon after an early dinner, Rachel, the housemaid, came in and said, “Excuse me, ma'am, the shepherd says, have you heard that Mrs. Barton is worse and not expected to live?”

Mrs. Hackit turned pale, and hurried out to question the shepherd, who, she found, had heard the sad news at an alehouse in the village. Mr. Hackit followed her out and said, ‘Thee’dst better have the pony-chaise, and go directly.’

Mrs. Hackit turned pale and quickly went outside to ask the shepherd, who she found had heard the bad news at a bar in the village. Mr. Hackit followed her out and said, "You should take the pony cart and go right away."

‘Yes,’ said Mrs. Hackit, too much overcome to utter any exclamations. ‘Rachel, come an’ help me on wi’ my things.’

‘Yeah,’ said Mrs. Hackit, too overwhelmed to say anything. ‘Rachel, come help me with my stuff.’

When her husband was wrapping her cloak round her feet in the pony-chaise, she said,—‘If I don’t come home to-night, I shall send back the pony-chaise, and you’ll know I’m wanted there.’

When her husband was wrapping her cloak around her feet in the pony-chaise, she said, "If I don't come home tonight, I'll send back the pony-chaise, and you'll know I'm needed there."

‘Yes, yes.’

"Yeah, yeah."

It was a bright frosty day, and by the time Mrs. Hackit arrived at the Vicarage, the sun was near its setting. There was a carriage and pair standing at the gate, which she recognized as Dr Madeley’s, the physician from Rotherby. She entered at the kitchen door that she might avoid knocking, and quietly question Nanny. No one was in the kitchen, but, passing on, she saw the sitting-room door open, and Nanny, with Walter in her arms, removing the knives and forks, which had been laid for dinner three hours ago.

It was a bright, chilly day, and by the time Mrs. Hackit got to the Vicarage, the sun was close to setting. There was a carriage and two horses waiting at the gate, which she recognized as Dr. Madeley’s, the doctor from Rotherby. She entered through the kitchen door to avoid knocking and quietly ask Nanny. The kitchen was empty, but as she moved on, she noticed the sitting-room door was open, and Nanny, holding Walter in her arms, was taking away the knives and forks that had been set for dinner three hours earlier.

‘Master says he can’t eat no dinner,’ was Nanny’s first word. ‘He’s never tasted nothin’ sin’ yesterday mornin’, but a cup o’ tea.’

‘Master says he can’t eat any dinner,’ was Nanny’s first word. ‘He hasn’t tasted anything since yesterday morning, but a cup of tea.’

‘When was your missis took worse?’

‘When was your wife feeling worse?’

‘O’ Monday night. They sent for Dr Madeley i’ the middle o’ the day yisterday, an’ he’s here again now.’

‘Oh’ Monday night. They called for Dr. Madeley in the middle of the day yesterday, and he’s here again now.’

‘Is the baby alive?’

‘Is the baby okay?’

‘No, it died last night. The children’s all at Mrs. Bond’s. She come and took ’em away last night, but the master says they must be fetched soon. He’s up-stairs now, wi’ Dr Madeley and Mr. Brand.’

‘No, it died last night. The kids are all at Mrs. Bond’s. She came and took them away last night, but the master says they need to be brought back soon. He’s upstairs now, with Dr. Madeley and Mr. Brand.’

At this moment Mrs. Hackit heard the sound of a heavy, slow foot, in the passage; and presently Amos Barton entered, with dry despairing eyes, haggard and unshaven. He expected to find the sitting-room as he left it, with nothing to meet his eyes but Milly’s work-basket in the corner of the sofa, and the children’s toys overturned in the bow-window. But when he saw Mrs. Hackit come towards him with answering sorrow in her face, the pent-up fountain of tears was opened; he threw himself on the sofa, hid his face, and sobbed aloud.

At that moment, Mrs. Hackit heard the sound of a heavy, slow footstep in the hallway, and soon after, Amos Barton walked in, with dry, desperate eyes, looking tired and unshaven. He expected the living room to be just as he left it, with only Milly’s work basket in the corner of the sofa and the kids’ toys scattered in the bay window. But when he saw Mrs. Hackit approaching him with a matching sadness on her face, he couldn't hold back anymore; he collapsed onto the sofa, hid his face, and cried loudly.

‘Bear up, Mr. Barton,’ Mrs. Hackit ventured to say at last; ‘bear up, for the sake o’ them dear children.’

‘Hang in there, Mr. Barton,’ Mrs. Hackit finally said; ‘stay strong, for the sake of those dear children.’

‘The children,’ said Amos, starting up. ‘They must be sent for. Some one must fetch them. Milly will want to ...’

‘The kids,’ said Amos, sitting up. ‘We need to send someone to get them. Milly will want to ...’

He couldn’t finish the sentence, but Mrs. Hackit understood him, and said, ‘I’ll send the man with the pony-carriage for ’em.’

He couldn't finish the sentence, but Mrs. Hackit understood him and said, "I'll send the guy with the pony carriage for them."

She went out to give the order, and encountered Dr Madeley and Mr. Brand, who were just going.

She went out to give the order and ran into Dr. Madeley and Mr. Brand, who were just leaving.

Mr. Brand said: ‘I am very glad to see you are here, Mrs. Hackit. No time must be lost in sending for the children. Mrs. Barton wants to see them.’

Mr. Brand said, "I'm really glad to see you here, Mrs. Hackit. We need to hurry and get the children. Mrs. Barton wants to see them."

‘Do you quite give her up then?’

‘Do you really give her up then?’

‘She can hardly live through the night. She begged us to tell her how long she had to live; and then asked for the children.’

‘She can barely get through the night. She pleaded with us to tell her how much longer she had to live; and then she asked for the kids.’

The pony-carriage was sent; and Mrs. Hackit, returning to Mr. Barton, said she would like to go up-stairs now. He went up-stairs with her and opened the door. The chamber fronted the west; the sun was just setting, and the red light fell full upon the bed, where Milly lay with the hand of death visibly upon her. The feather-bed had been removed, and she lay low on a mattress, with her head slightly raised by pillows. Her long fair neck seemed to be struggling with a painful effort; her features were pallid and pinched, and her eyes were closed. There was no one in the room but the nurse, and the mistress of the free school, who had come to give her help from the beginning of the change.

The pony carriage was sent; and Mrs. Hackit, returning to Mr. Barton, said she wanted to go upstairs now. He went upstairs with her and opened the door. The room faced west; the sun was just setting, and the red light fell fully on the bed where Milly lay, clearly marked by the hand of death. The feather bed had been removed, and she lay low on a mattress, her head slightly raised by pillows. Her long, fair neck seemed to be struggling with a painful effort; her features were pale and pinched, and her eyes were closed. The only people in the room were the nurse and the head of the free school, who had come to assist her since the beginning of the change.

Amos and Mrs. Hackit stood beside the bed, and Milly opened her eyes.

Amos and Mrs. Hackit stood next to the bed, and Milly opened her eyes.

‘My darling, Mrs. Hackit is come to see you.’

'My dear, Mrs. Hackit has come to see you.'

Milly smiled and looked at her with that strange, far-off look which belongs to ebbing life.

Milly smiled and looked at her with that strange, distant gaze that comes with fading vitality.

‘Are the children coming?’ she said, painfully.

‘Are the kids coming?’ she asked, painfully.

‘Yes, they will be here directly.’

‘Yes, they will be here shortly.’

She closed her eyes again.

She shut her eyes again.

Presently the pony-carriage was heard; and Amos, motioning to Mrs. Hackit to follow him, left the room. On their way down-stairs, she suggested that the carriage should remain to take them away again afterwards, and Amos assented.

Presently, they heard the pony carriage, and Amos signaled for Mrs. Hackit to follow him as he left the room. On their way down the stairs, she suggested that the carriage should stay to take them back afterward, and Amos agreed.

There they stood in the melancholy sitting-room—the five sweet children, from Patty to Chubby—all, with their mother’s eyes—all, except Patty, looking up with a vague fear at their father as he entered. Patty understood the great sorrow that was come upon them, and tried to check her sobs as she heard her papa’s footsteps.

There they stood in the sad living room—the five adorable kids, from Patty to Chubby—all with their mom's eyes—all, except Patty, looking up with a vague fear at their dad as he walked in. Patty understood the deep sadness that had come over them and tried to hold back her tears as she heard her dad's footsteps.

‘My children,’ said Amos, taking Chubby in his arms, ‘God is going to take away your dear mamma from us. She wants to see you to say good-bye. You must try to be very good and not cry.’

‘My children,’ said Amos, holding Chubby in his arms, ‘God is going to take your dear mom away from us. She wants to see you to say goodbye. You need to try really hard to be good and not cry.’

He could say no more, but turned round to see if Nanny was there with Walter, and then led the way up-stairs, leading Dickey with the other hand. Mrs. Hackit followed with Sophy and Patty, and then came Nanny with Walter and Fred.

He couldn't say anything more, so he turned to see if Nanny was there with Walter, and then he led the way upstairs, holding Dickey with his other hand. Mrs. Hackit followed with Sophy and Patty, and then came Nanny with Walter and Fred.

It seemed as if Milly had heard the little footsteps on the stairs, for when Amos entered her eyes were wide open, eagerly looking towards the door. They all stood by the bedside—Amos nearest to her, holding Chubby and Dickey. But she motioned for Patty to come first, and clasping the poor pale child by the hand, said,—‘Patty, I’m going away from you. Love your papa. Comfort him; and take care of your little brothers and sisters. God will help you.’

It seemed like Milly had heard the little footsteps on the stairs, because when Amos walked in, her eyes were wide open, eagerly looking towards the door. They all stood by the bedside—Amos closest to her, holding Chubby and Dickey. But she signaled for Patty to come first, and taking the poor pale child by the hand, said, “Patty, I’m leaving you. Love your dad. Comfort him, and take care of your little brothers and sisters. God will help you.”

Patty stood perfectly quiet, and said, ‘Yes, mamma.’

Patty stood completely still and said, ‘Yes, Mom.’

The mother motioned with her pallid lips for the dear child to lean towards her and kiss her; and then Patty’s great anguish overcame her, and she burst into sobs. Amos drew her towards him and pressed her head gently to him, while Milly beckoned Fred and Sophy, and said to them more faintly,—‘Patty will try to be your mamma when I am gone, my darlings. You will be good and not vex her.’

The mother signaled with her pale lips for the dear child to come closer and kiss her; then Patty’s deep sorrow took over, and she broke down in tears. Amos pulled her in closer and gently rested her head against him, while Milly waved to Fred and Sophy, saying to them softly, “Patty will try to be your mom when I’m gone, my dears. You’ll be good and not upset her.”

They leaned towards her, and she stroked their fair heads, and kissed their tear-stained cheeks. They cried because mamma was ill and papa looked so unhappy; but they thought, perhaps next week things would be as they used to be again.

They leaned in closer to her, and she gently ran her fingers through their light hair and kissed their tear-streaked cheeks. They were crying because mom was sick and dad looked so sad; but they hoped that maybe next week everything would go back to how it used to be.

The little ones were lifted on the bed to kiss her. Little Walter said, ‘Mamma, mamma’, and stretched out his fat arms and smiled; and Chubby seemed gravely wondering; but Dickey, who had been looking fixedly at her, with lip hanging down, ever since he came into the room, now seemed suddenly pierced with the idea that mamma was going away somewhere; his little heart swelled and he cried aloud.

The kids were picked up onto the bed to give her a kiss. Little Walter said, "Mommy, mommy," stretching out his pudgy arms and smiling; Chubby looked on with a serious expression, but Dickey, who had been staring at her with his mouth slightly open since he entered the room, suddenly seemed hit with the thought that Mommy was going somewhere. His little heart ached, and he cried out loud.

Then Mrs. Hackit and Nanny took them all away. Patty at first begged to stay at home and not go to Mrs. Bond’s again; but when Nanny reminded her that she had better go to take care of the younger ones, she submitted at once, and they were all packed in the pony-carriage once more.

Then Mrs. Hackit and Nanny took them all away. Patty initially pleaded to stay home and not go to Mrs. Bond’s again; but when Nanny pointed out that she should go to look after the younger ones, she quickly agreed, and they were all packed into the pony carriage again.

Milly kept her eyes shut for some time after the children were gone. Amos had sunk on his knees, and was holding her hand while he watched her face. By-and-by she opened her eyes, and, drawing him close to her, whispered slowly,—‘My dear—dear—husband—you have been—very—good to me. You—have—made me—very—happy.’

Milly kept her eyes closed for a while after the kids left. Amos had knelt down and was holding her hand while he watched her face. After some time, she opened her eyes and pulled him close, whispering slowly, "My dear—dear—husband—you have been—very—good to me. You—have—made me—very—happy."

She spoke no more for many hours. They watched her breathing becoming more and more difficult, until evening deepened into night, and until midnight was past. About half-past twelve she seemed to be trying to speak, and they leaned to catch her words. ‘Music—music—didn’t you hear it?’

She didn’t say anything for many hours. They watched her breathing get harder and harder, until evening turned into night, and then midnight passed. Around twelve-thirty, she seemed to be trying to say something, and they leaned in to listen closely. “Music—music—didn’t you hear it?”

Amos knelt by the bed and held her hand in his. He did not believe in his sorrow. It was a bad dream. He did not know when she was gone. But Mr. Brand, whom Mrs. Hackit had sent for before twelve o’clock, thinking that Mr. Barton might probably need his help, now came up to him, and said,—‘She feels no more pain now. Come, my dear sir, come with me.’

Amos knelt by the bed and held her hand in his. He couldn't accept his sorrow. It felt like a bad dream. He didn’t realize when she had passed. But Mr. Brand, whom Mrs. Hackit had called for before noon, thinking Mr. Barton might need his help, now approached him and said, “She doesn't feel any more pain now. Come, my dear sir, come with me.”

‘She isn’t dead?’ shrieked the poor desolate man, struggling to shake off Mr. Brand, who had taken him by the arm. But his weary weakened frame was not equal to resistance, and he was dragged out of the room.

‘She isn’t dead?’ cried the poor, heartbroken man, trying to shake off Mr. Brand, who had grabbed his arm. But his tired, frail body couldn’t resist, and he was pulled out of the room.

Chapter 9

They laid her in the grave—the sweet mother with her baby in her arms—while the Christmas snow lay thick upon the graves. It was Mr. Cleves who buried her. On the first news of Mr. Barton’s calamity, he had ridden over from Tripplegate to beg that he might be made of some use, and his silent grasp of Amos’s hand had penetrated like the painful thrill of life-recovering warmth to the poor benumbed heart of the stricken man.

They laid her in the grave—the gentle mother with her baby in her arms—while the Christmas snow covered the graves. It was Mr. Cleves who buried her. As soon as he heard about Mr. Barton’s tragedy, he rode over from Tripplegate to offer his help, and his quiet handshake with Amos had come like a painful yet warm surge of life to the poor, numb heart of the grieving man.

The snow lay thick upon the graves, and the day was cold and dreary; but there was many a sad eye watching that black procession as it passed from the vicarage to the church, and from the church to the open grave. There were men and women standing in that churchyard who had bandied vulgar jests about their pastor, and who had lightly charged him with sin; but now, when they saw him following the coffin, pale and haggard, he was consecrated anew by his great sorrow, and they looked at him with respectful pity.

The snow was thick on the graves, and the day was cold and gloomy; yet many sorrowful eyes were watching that dark procession as it moved from the vicarage to the church, and from the church to the open grave. There were men and women standing in that churchyard who had exchanged crude jokes about their pastor and had casually accused him of wrongdoing; but now, seeing him follow the coffin, pale and worn, he was renewed in their eyes through his deep sorrow, and they regarded him with respectful pity.

All the children were there, for Amos had willed it so, thinking that some dim memory of that sacred moment might remain even with little Walter, and link itself with what he would hear of his sweet mother in after years. He himself led Patty and Dickey; then came Sophy and Fred; Mr. Brand had begged to carry Chubby, and Nanny followed with Walter. They made a circle round the grave while the coffin was being lowered. Patty alone of all the children felt that mamma was in that coffin, and that a new and sadder life had begun for papa and herself. She was pale and trembling, but she clasped his hand more firmly as the coffin went down, and gave no sob. Fred and Sophy, though they were only two and three years younger, and though they had seen mamma in her coffin, seemed to themselves to be looking at some strange show. They had not learned to decipher that terrible handwriting of human destiny, illness and death. Dickey had rebelled against his black clothes, until he was told that it would be naughty to mamma not to put them on, when he at once submitted; and now, though he had heard Nanny say that mamma was in heaven, he had a vague notion that she would come home again to-morrow, and say he had been a good boy and let him empty her work-box. He stood close to his father, with great rosy cheeks, and wide open blue eyes, looking first up at Mr. Cleves and then down at the coffin, and thinking he and Chubby would play at that when they got home.

All the kids were there because Amos wanted it that way, hoping that some faint memory of that special moment would stay with little Walter and connect to what he'd hear about his sweet mom in the future. He himself led Patty and Dickey; then came Sophy and Fred; Mr. Brand had asked to carry Chubby, and Nanny followed with Walter. They formed a circle around the grave while the coffin was being lowered. Patty alone of all the kids felt that mom was in that coffin, and that a new and sadder life had started for dad and her. She was pale and trembling, but she held his hand more tightly as the coffin went down, not making a sound. Fred and Sophy, even though they were only two and three years younger and had seen mom in her coffin, felt like they were watching some strange performance. They hadn't learned to understand the harsh realities of human fate, illness, and death. Dickey had protested against wearing his black clothes until he was told it would upset mom not to wear them, after which he complied; and now, even though he heard Nanny say that mom was in heaven, he had a vague idea that she'd come home tomorrow and say he had been a good boy and let him play with her work-box. He stood close to his dad, with rosy cheeks and wide blue eyes, first looking up at Mr. Cleves and then down at the coffin, thinking he and Chubby would play that when they got home.

The burial was over, and Amos turned with his children to re-enter the house—the house where, an hour ago, Milly’s dear body lay, where the windows were half darkened, and sorrow seemed to have a hallowed precinct for itself, shut out from the world. But now she was gone; the broad snow-reflected daylight was in all the rooms; the Vicarage again seemed part of the common working-day world, and Amos, for the first time, felt that he was alone—that day after day, month after month, year after year, would have to be lived through without Milly’s love. Spring would come, and she would not be there; summer, and she would not be there; and he would never have her again with him by the fireside in the long evenings. The seasons all seemed irksome to his thoughts; and how dreary the sunshiny days that would be sure to come! She was gone from him; and he could never show her his love any more, never make up for omissions in the past by filling future days with tenderness.

The funeral was over, and Amos turned with his kids to go back inside the house—the house where, just an hour ago, Milly’s beloved body had been, where the windows were partially darkened, and sadness seemed to have carved out its own space, hidden from the outside world. But now she was gone; the bright daylight reflecting off the snow filled every room; the Vicarage felt like it was back in the ordinary day-to-day world, and for the first time, Amos realized he was alone—that day after day, month after month, year after year, he would have to go on living without Milly’s love. Spring would come, and she wouldn’t be there; summer would arrive, and she wouldn’t be there; and he would never again have her by his side in the cozy evenings by the fire. All the seasons felt unbearable to him now; and how bleak those sunny days would surely be! She was gone from him; and he could never show her his love again, never make up for the times he hadn’t, by filling future days with affection.

O the anguish of that thought that we can never atone to our dead for the stinted affection we gave them, for the light answers we returned to their plaints or their pleadings, for the little reverence we showed to that sacred human soul that lived so close to us, and was the divinest thing God had given us to know.

O the pain of realizing that we can never make up to our loved ones who are gone for the limited love we showed them, for the half-hearted responses we gave to their cries or their requests, for the slight respect we offered to that precious human soul that was so close to us, and was the most divine gift God allowed us to know.

Amos Barton had been an affectionate husband, and while Milly was with him, he was never visited by the thought that perhaps his sympathy with her was not quick and watchful enough; but now he re-lived all their life together, with that terrible keenness of memory and imagination which bereavement gives, and he felt as if his very love needed a pardon for its poverty and selfishness.

Amos Barton had been a loving husband, and while Milly was with him, he never considered that his sympathy for her might not have been attentive enough; but now he revisited their entire life together, with the intense clarity of memory and imagination that comes with loss, and he felt as though his very love required forgiveness for its lack and selfishness.

No outward solace could counteract the bitterness of this inward woe. But outward solace came. Cold faces looked kind again, and parishioners turned over in their minds what they could best do to help their pastor. Mr. Oldinport wrote to express his sympathy, and enclosed another twenty-pound note, begging that he might be permitted to contribute in this way to the relief of Mr. Barton’s mind from pecuniary anxieties, under the pressure of a grief which all his parishioners must share; and offering his interest towards placing the two eldest girls in a school expressly founded for clergymen’s daughters. Mr. Cleves succeeded in collecting thirty pounds among his richer clerical brethren, and, adding ten pounds himself, sent the sum to Amos, with the kindest and most delicate words of Christian fellowship and manly friendship. Miss Jackson forgot old grievances, and came to stay some months with Milly’s children, bringing such material aid as she could spare from her small income. These were substantial helps, which relieved Amos from the pressure of his money difficulties; and the friendly attentions, the kind pressure of the hand, the cordial looks he met with everywhere in his parish, made him feel that the fatal frost which had settled on his pastoral duties, during the Countess’s residence at the Vicarage, was completely thawed, and that the hearts of his parishioners were once more open to him. No one breathed the Countess’s name now; for Milly’s memory hallowed her husband, as of old the place was hallowed on which an angel from God had alighted.

No outside comfort could ease the pain of this inner sorrow. But outside comfort arrived. Cold faces seemed kind again, and church members thought about how they could best help their pastor. Mr. Oldinport wrote to share his sympathy and included another twenty-pound note, requesting that he might be allowed to aid Mr. Barton by relieving him of financial worries during a grief that all his parishioners must share; he also offered to help place the two oldest girls in a school specifically created for clergymen’s daughters. Mr. Cleves managed to collect thirty pounds from his wealthier clerical colleagues and, adding ten pounds himself, sent the total to Amos with the kindest and most thoughtful words of Christian solidarity and male friendship. Miss Jackson put aside past grievances and came to stay for several months with Milly’s children, bringing whatever material support she could spare from her limited income. These were significant helps, relieving Amos of his financial struggles; the friendly gestures, the warm handshakes, and the welcoming smiles he received throughout his parish made him feel that the deadly chill that had settled over his pastoral responsibilities during the Countess’s stay at the Vicarage was completely gone, and that the hearts of his parishioners were once again open to him. No one mentioned the Countess now; for Milly’s memory sanctified her husband, just as the place once made holy by an angel from God.

When the spring came, Mrs. Hackit begged that she might have Dickey to stay with her, and great was the enlargement of Dickey’s experience from that visit. Every morning he was allowed—being well wrapt up as to his chest by Mrs. Hackit’s own hands, but very bare and red as to his legs—to run loose in the cow and poultry yard, to persecute the turkey-cock by satirical imitations of his gobble-gobble, and to put difficult questions to the groom as to the reasons why horses had four legs, and other transcendental matters. Then Mr. Hackit would take Dickey up on horseback when he rode round his farm, and Mrs. Hackit had a large plumcake in cut, ready to meet incidental attacks of hunger. So that Dickey had considerably modified his views as to the desirability of Mrs. Hackit’s kisses.

When spring arrived, Mrs. Hackit asked if Dickey could stay with her, and Dickey gained a lot from that visit. Every morning, he was allowed—wrapped snugly by Mrs. Hackit’s own hands but with his legs bare and red—to roam freely in the cow and poultry yard, teasing the turkey with funny imitations of its gobble-gobble, and challenging the groom with questions about why horses had four legs and other deep topics. Then Mr. Hackit would take Dickey with him on horseback when he rode around the farm, and Mrs. Hackit always had a big slice of plum cake ready for any sudden hunger. Because of this, Dickey's opinion about the appeal of Mrs. Hackit’s kisses had definitely changed.

The Misses Farquhar made particular pets of Fred and Sophy, to whom they undertook to give lessons twice a-week in writing and geography; and Mrs. Farquhar devised many treats for the little ones. Patty’s treat was to stay at home, or walk about with her papa; and when he sat by the fire in an evening, after the other children were gone to bed, she would bring a stool, and, placing it against his feet, would sit down upon it and lean her head against his knee. Then his hand would rest on that fair head, and he would feel that Milly’s love was not quite gone out of his life.

The Misses Farquhar took a special liking to Fred and Sophy, and they decided to give them lessons twice a week in writing and geography. Mrs. Farquhar planned many fun activities for the little ones. Patty's special treat was to stay at home or go for walks with her dad. In the evenings, after the other kids were in bed, she would bring over a stool, place it against his feet, sit on it, and lean her head against his knee. His hand would rest on her soft head, reminding him that Milly's love was still a part of his life.

So the time wore on till it was May again, and the church was quite finished and reopened in all its new splendour, and Mr. Barton was devoting himself with more vigour than ever to his parochial duties. But one morning—it was a very bright morning, and evil tidings sometimes like to fly in the finest weather—there came a letter for Mr. Barton, addressed in the Vicar’s handwriting. Amos opened it with some anxiety—somehow or other he had a presentiment of evil. The letter contained the announcement that Mr. Carpe had resolved on coming to reside at Shepperton, and that, consequently, in six months from that time Mr. Barton’s duties as curate in that parish would be closed.

So time passed until it was May again, and the church was completely finished and reopened in all its new glory, with Mr. Barton dedicating himself to his parish duties with more enthusiasm than ever. But one morning—it was a bright, beautiful morning, and bad news often likes to appear on the best days—a letter arrived for Mr. Barton, written in the Vicar’s handwriting. Amos opened it with a bit of anxiety—he somehow had a feeling that something was wrong. The letter announced that Mr. Carpe had decided to move to Shepperton, which meant that, in six months, Mr. Barton’s duties as curate in that parish would come to an end.

O, it was hard! Just when Shepperton had become the place where he most wished to stay—where he had friends who knew his sorrows—where he lived close to Milly’s grave. To part from that grave seemed like parting with Milly a second time; for Amos was one who clung to all the material links between his mind and the past. His imagination was not vivid, and required the stimulus of actual perception.

O, it was tough! Just when Shepperton had turned into the place he wanted to be most—where he had friends who understood his pain—where he lived near Milly’s grave. Leaving that grave felt like saying goodbye to Milly all over again; Amos was the type who held on to every physical connection to his past. His imagination wasn’t strong, and he needed the boost of actual experiences.

It roused some bitter feeling, too, to think that Mr. Carpe’s wish to reside at Shepperton was merely a pretext for removing Mr. Barton, in order that he might ultimately give the curacy of Shepperton to his own brother-in-law, who was known to be wanting a new position.

It stirred up some resentment, too, to realize that Mr. Carpe’s desire to live in Shepperton was just an excuse to get rid of Mr. Barton, so he could eventually hand the Shepperton curacy to his own brother-in-law, who was known to be looking for a new job.

Still, it must be borne; and the painful business of seeking another curacy must be set about without loss of time. After the lapse of some months, Amos was obliged to renounce the hope of getting one at all near Shepperton, and he at length resigned himself to accepting one in a distant county. The parish was in a large manufacturing town, where his walks would lie among noisy streets and dingy alleys, and where the children would have no garden to play in, no pleasant farm-houses to visit.

Still, it has to be dealt with; and the tough task of finding another curacy must be started right away. After a few months, Amos had to give up on the hope of getting one close to Shepperton, and he finally accepted that he would have to take one in a faraway county. The parish was in a big industrial town, where he would have to walk through busy streets and grimy alleys, and where the kids wouldn't have a garden to play in or nice farmhouses to visit.

It was another blow inflicted on the bruised man.

It was another hit dealt to the battered man.

Chapter 10

At length the dreaded week was come, when Amos and his children must leave Shepperton. There was general regret among the parishioners at his departure: not that any one of them thought his spiritual gifts pre-eminent, or was conscious of great edification from his ministry. But his recent troubles had called out their better sympathies, and that is always a source of love. Amos failed to touch the spring of goodness by his sermons, but he touched it effectually by his sorrows; and there was now a real bond between him and his flock.

At last, the week they all dreaded had arrived when Amos and his children had to leave Shepperton. The people in the parish expressed their sadness at his departure, not because anyone thought he was exceptionally gifted spiritually or gained much from his ministry. However, his recent troubles had awakened their compassion, which always fosters love. Amos didn't inspire goodness through his sermons, but he definitely connected with them through his hardships, and now there was a genuine bond between him and his congregation.

‘My heart aches for them poor motherless children,’ said Mrs. Hackit to her husband, ‘a-going among strangers, and into a nasty town, where there’s no good victuals to be had, and you must pay dear to get bad uns.’

‘My heart breaks for those poor motherless kids,’ said Mrs. Hackit to her husband, ‘going to live with strangers and into a terrible town, where there’s no good food available, and you have to pay a lot for the bad stuff.’

Mrs. Hackit had a vague notion of a town life as a combination of dirty backyards, measly pork, and dingy linen.

Mrs. Hackit had a blurry idea of town life as a mix of filthy backyards, cheap pork, and shabby linen.

The same sort of sympathy was strong among the poorer class of parishioners. Old stiff-jointed Mr. Tozer, who was still able to earn a little by gardening ‘jobs’, stopped Mrs. Cramp, the charwoman, on her way home from the Vicarage, where she had been helping Nanny to pack up the day before the departure, and inquired very particularly into Mr. Barton’s prospects.

The same kind of sympathy was strong among the poorer parishioners. Old stiff-jointed Mr. Tozer, who could still make a bit of money doing gardening jobs, stopped Mrs. Cramp, the charwoman, on her way home from the Vicarage, where she had been helping Nanny pack up the day before the departure, and asked her in detail about Mr. Barton’s prospects.

‘Ah, poor mon,’ he was heard to say, ‘I’m sorry for un. He hedn’t much here, but he’ll be wuss off theer. Half a loaf’s better nor ne’er un.’

‘Ah, poor man,’ he was heard to say, ‘I’m sorry for you. He didn’t have much here, but he’ll be worse off there. Half a loaf’s better than none.’

The sad good-byes had all been said before that last evening; and after all the packing was done and all the arrangements were made, Amos felt the oppression of that blank interval in which one has nothing left to think of but the dreary future—the separation from the loved and familiar, and the chilling entrance on the new and strange. In every parting there is an image of death.

The sad goodbyes had all been said before that last evening; and after all the packing was done and all the arrangements made, Amos felt the weight of that empty time where he had nothing left to think about but the depressing future—the separation from what he loved and knew, and the cold arrival into the new and unfamiliar. In every farewell, there’s a hint of death.

Soon after ten o’clock, when he had sent Nanny to bed, that she might have a good night’s rest before the fatigues of the morrow, he stole softly out to pay a last visit to Milly’s grave. It was a moonless night, but the sky was thick with stars, and their light was enough to show that the grass had grown long on the grave, and that there was a tombstone telling in bright letters, on a dark ground, that beneath were deposited the remains of Amelia, the beloved wife of Amos Barton, who died in the thirty-fifth year of her age, leaving a husband and six children to lament her loss. The final words of the inscription were, ‘Thy will be done.’

Soon after ten o’clock, after sending Nanny to bed so she could get a good night's sleep before the challenges of tomorrow, he quietly went out to make one last visit to Milly’s grave. It was a moonless night, but the sky was filled with stars, and their light was enough to reveal that the grass had grown long on the grave, and there was a tombstone displaying in bright letters on a dark background that beneath it lay the remains of Amelia, the beloved wife of Amos Barton, who died at thirty-five, leaving a husband and six children to mourn her loss. The inscription ended with the words, ‘Thy will be done.’

The husband was now advancing towards the dear mound from which he was so soon to be parted, perhaps for ever. He stood a few minutes reading over and over again the words on the tombstone, as if to assure himself that all the happy and unhappy past was a reality. For love is frightened at the intervals of insensibility and callousness that encroach by little and little on the dominion of grief, and it makes efforts to recall the keenness of the first anguish.

The husband was now walking toward the beloved grave from which he might soon be separated, maybe forever. He stood for a few minutes reading the words on the tombstone repeatedly, as if to convince himself that all the good and bad memories were real. Because love fears the moments of numbness and indifference that slowly creep into the space of grief, and it tries to remember the intensity of the initial sorrow.

Gradually, as his eye dwelt on the words, ‘Amelia, the beloved wife,’ the waves of feeling swelled within his soul, and he threw himself on the grave, clasping it with his arms, and kissing the cold turf.

Gradually, as his gaze lingered on the words, ‘Amelia, the beloved wife,’ waves of emotion surged within him, and he fell onto the grave, wrapping his arms around it and kissing the cold earth.

‘Milly, Milly, dost thou hear me? I didn’t love thee enough—I wasn’t tender enough to thee—but I think of it all now.’

‘Milly, Milly, can you hear me? I didn’t love you enough—I wasn’t gentle enough with you—but I think about it all now.’

The sobs came and choked his utterance, and the warm tears fell.

The sobs interrupted his speech, and warm tears streamed down.

CONCLUSION

Only once again in his life has Amos Barton visited Milly’s grave. It was in the calm and softened light of an autumnal afternoon, and he was not alone. He held on his arm a young woman, with a sweet, grave face, which strongly recalled the expression of Mrs. Barton’s, but was less lovely in form and colour. She was about thirty, but there were some premature lines round her mouth and eyes, which told of early anxiety.

Only once more in his life did Amos Barton visit Milly’s grave. It was during the gentle, softened light of an autumn afternoon, and he wasn’t alone. He had a young woman on his arm, with a sweet, serious face that strongly reminded him of Mrs. Barton’s, though she was less beautiful in shape and color. She was about thirty, but there were some early wrinkles around her mouth and eyes that indicated a history of worry.

Amos himself was much changed. His thin circlet of hair was nearly white, and his walk was no longer firm and upright. But his glance was calm, and even cheerful, and his neat linen told of a woman’s care. Milly did not take all her love from the earth when she died. She had left some of it in Patty’s heart.

Amos had changed a lot. His thin ring of hair was almost white, and his walk was no longer steady and upright. But his gaze was calm and even cheerful, and his clean linen showed that a woman had cared for him. Milly didn’t take all her love with her when she died. She left some of it in Patty’s heart.

All the other children were now grown up, and had gone their several ways. Dickey, you will be glad to hear, had shown remarkable talents as an engineer. His cheeks are still ruddy, in spite of mixed mathematics, and his eyes are still large and blue; but in other respects his person would present no marks of identification for his friend Mrs. Hackit, if she were to see him; especially now that her eyes must be grown very dim, with the wear of more than twenty additional years. He is nearly six feet high, and has a proportionately broad chest; he wears spectacles, and rubs his large white hands through a mass of shaggy brown hair. But I am sure you have no doubt that Mr. Richard Barton is a thoroughly good fellow, as well as a man of talent, and you will be glad any day to shake hands with him, for his own sake as well as his mother’s.

All the other kids have grown up and gone their separate ways. You'll be happy to know that Dickey has shown impressive skills as an engineer. His cheeks are still rosy, despite his struggles with math, and his eyes remain large and blue; however, he wouldn't look familiar to his friend Mrs. Hackit if she were to see him now, especially since her eyesight must have dimmed after more than twenty additional years. He's nearly six feet tall and has a correspondingly broad chest. He wears glasses and runs his big white hands through a thick mass of shaggy brown hair. But I'm sure you have no doubt that Mr. Richard Barton is a genuinely good guy, as well as a talented man, and you'd be happy to shake hands with him any day, for his own sake as well as his mother's.

Patty alone remains by her father’s side, and makes the evening sunshine of his life.

Patty is the only one by her father's side, bringing warmth and light to the evening of his life.

MR. GILFIL’S LOVE STORY

Chapter 1

When old Mr. Gilfil died, thirty years ago, there was general sorrow in Shepperton; and if black cloth had not been hung round the pulpit and reading-desk, by order of his nephew and principal legatee, the parishioners would certainly have subscribed the necessary sum out of their own pockets, rather than allow such a tribute of respect to be wanting. All the farmers’ wives brought out their black bombasines; and Mrs. Jennings, at the Wharf, by appearing the first Sunday after Mr. Gilfil’s death in her salmon-coloured ribbons and green shawl, excited the severest remark. To be sure, Mrs. Jennings was a new-comer, and town-bred, so that she could hardly be expected to have very clear notions of what was proper; but, as Mrs. Higgins observed in an undertone to Mrs. Parrot when they were coming out of church, ‘Her husband, who’d been born i’ the parish, might ha’ told her better.’ An unreadiness to put on black on all available occasions, or too great an alacrity in putting it off, argued, in Mrs. Higgins’s opinion, a dangerous levity of character, and an unnatural insensibility to the essential fitness of things.

When old Mr. Gilfil died thirty years ago, the whole town of Shepperton was filled with sadness; and if his nephew and main beneficiary hadn’t arranged to hang black cloth around the pulpit and reading desk, the parishioners definitely would have chipped in to cover the cost themselves, just to show their respect. All the farmers’ wives took out their black dresses, and Mrs. Jennings, who lived at the Wharf, caused quite a stir when she showed up the first Sunday after Mr. Gilfil’s death wearing salmon-colored ribbons and a green shawl. It’s true that Mrs. Jennings was new to the area and from the city, so it was hard to expect her to understand what was appropriate; but as Mrs. Higgins quietly remarked to Mrs. Parrot while leaving church, “Her husband, who was born in the parish, could have told her better.” In Mrs. Higgins's view, not putting on black whenever possible, or being too quick to take it off, suggested a concerning lack of seriousness and an unusual insensitivity to what was fitting.

‘Some folks can’t a-bear to put off their colours,’ she remarked; ‘but that was never the way i’ my family. Why, Mrs. Parrot, from the time I was married, till Mr. Higgins died, nine years ago come Candlemas, I niver was out o’ black two year together!’

‘Some people can’t stand to put off their colors,’ she said; ‘but that was never the way in my family. You see, Mrs. Parrot, from the time I got married until Mr. Higgins passed away, nine years ago on Candlemas, I was never out of black for two years straight!’

‘Ah,’ said Mrs. Parrot, who was conscious of inferiority in this respect, ‘there isn’t many families as have had so many deaths as yours, Mrs. Higgins.’

‘Ah,’ said Mrs. Parrot, who felt a bit inferior about it, ‘not many families have experienced as many deaths as yours, Mrs. Higgins.’

Mrs. Higgins, who was an elderly widow, ‘well left’, reflected with complacency that Mrs. Parrot’s observation was no more than just, and that Mrs. Jennings very likely belonged to a family which had had no funerals to speak of.

Mrs. Higgins, an elderly widow with a comfortable financial situation, thought to herself that Mrs. Parrot’s comment was quite accurate, and that Mrs. Jennings probably came from a family that hadn’t experienced many funerals.

Even dirty Dame Fripp, who was a very rare church-goer, had been to Mrs. Hackit to beg a bit of old crape, and with this sign of grief pinned on her little coal-scuttle bonnet, was seen dropping her curtsy opposite the reading-desk. This manifestation of respect towards Mr. Gilfil’s memory on the part of Dame Fripp had no theological bearing whatever. It was due to an event which had occurred some years back, and which, I am sorry to say, had left that grimy old lady as indifferent to the means of grace as ever. Dame Fripp kept leeches, and was understood to have such remarkable influence over those wilful animals in inducing them to bite under the most unpromising circumstances, that though her own leeches were usually rejected, from a suspicion that they had lost their appetite, she herself was constantly called in to apply the more lively individuals furnished from Mr. Pilgrim’s surgery, when, as was very often the case, one of that clever man’s paying patients was attacked with inflammation. Thus Dame Fripp, in addition to ‘property’ supposed to yield her no less than half-a-crown a-week, was in the receipt of professional fees, the gross amount of which was vaguely estimated by her neighbours as ‘pouns an’ pouns’. Moreover, she drove a brisk trade in lollipop with epicurean urchins, who recklessly purchased that luxury at the rate of two hundred per cent. Nevertheless, with all these notorious sources of income, the shameless old woman constantly pleaded poverty, and begged for scraps at Mrs. Hackit’s, who, though she always said Mrs. Fripp was ‘as false as two folks’, and no better than a miser and a heathen, had yet a leaning towards her as an old neighbour.

Even dirty Dame Fripp, who rarely went to church, had gone to Mrs. Hackit to ask for some old black fabric, and with this symbol of mourning pinned on her small coal-scuttle bonnet, she was seen curtsying in front of the reading desk. This display of respect for Mr. Gilfil’s memory from Dame Fripp had no religious significance at all. It stemmed from an event that had happened years ago, which, I regret to say, left that grimy old lady as indifferent to spiritual matters as ever. Dame Fripp kept leeches and was known to have an extraordinary ability to get those stubborn creatures to bite in the most unlikely situations, so even though her own leeches were usually turned down for suspicion of losing their appetite, she was frequently called in to apply the livelier ones supplied by Mr. Pilgrim’s surgery when one of that skilled man's paying patients developed an infection. As a result, Dame Fripp, in addition to her ‘property’ thought to earn her no less than two shillings a week, also received professional fees, which her neighbors vaguely estimated as ‘pounds and pounds.’ Furthermore, she ran a thriving business selling lollipops to discerning kids, who carelessly bought that treat at a markup of two hundred percent. Yet, despite all these well-known sources of income, the shameless old woman consistently claimed to be poor and begged for scraps at Mrs. Hackit’s, who, although she always dismissed Mrs. Fripp as ‘as false as two folks’ and no better than a miser and a heathen, still had a soft spot for her as an old neighbor.

‘There’s that case-hardened old Judy a-coming after the tea-leaves again,’ Mrs. Hackit would say; ‘an’ I’m fool enough to give ’em her, though Sally wants ’em all the while to sweep the floors with!’

‘There’s that tough old Judy coming for the tea leaves again,’ Mrs. Hackit would say; ‘and I’m foolish enough to give them to her, even though Sally wants them all the time to sweep the floors with!’

Such was Dame Fripp, whom Mr. Gilfil, riding leisurely in top-boots and spurs from doing duty at Knebley one warm Sunday afternoon, observed sitting in the dry ditch near her cottage, and by her side a large pig, who, with that ease and confidence belonging to perfect friendship, was lying with his head in her lap, and making no effort to play the agreeable beyond an occasional grunt.

Such was Dame Fripp, whom Mr. Gilfil, riding leisurely in tall boots and spurs after his duty at Knebley one warm Sunday afternoon, noticed sitting in the dry ditch next to her cottage, with a large pig beside her. The pig, relaxed and comfortable in their friendship, had his head resting in her lap and made no effort to be social beyond an occasional grunt.

‘Why, Mrs. Fripp,’ said the Vicar, ‘I didn’t know you had such a fine pig. You’ll have some rare flitches at Christmas!’

‘Why, Mrs. Fripp,’ said the Vicar, ‘I didn’t realize you had such a great pig. You’ll have some amazing bacon for Christmas!’

‘Eh, God forbid! My son gev him me two ’ear ago, an’ he’s been company to me iver sin’. I couldn’t find i’ my heart to part wi’m, if I niver knowed the taste o’ bacon-fat again.’

‘Oh, God forbid! My son gave him to me two years ago, and he’s been my companion ever since. I couldn’t find it in my heart to part with him, even if I never knew the taste of bacon fat again.’

‘Why, he’ll eat his head off, and yours too. How can you go on keeping a pig, and making nothing by him?’

‘Why, he'll eat like there's no tomorrow, and you'll be right there with him. How can you keep a pig and not get anything out of it?’

‘O, he picks a bit hisself wi’ rootin’, and I dooant mind doing wi’out to gi’ him summat. A bit o’ company’s meat an’ drink too, an’ he follers me about, and grunts when I spake to’m, just like a Christian.’

‘Oh, he helps himself a little bit with foraging, and I don’t mind going without to give him something. A little bit of company is good for the soul, and he follows me around, grunting when I talk to him, just like a decent person.’

Mr. Gilfil laughed, and I am obliged to admit that he said good-bye to Dame Fripp without asking her why she had not been to church, or making the slightest effort for her spiritual edification. But the next day he ordered his man David to take her a great piece of bacon, with a message, saying, the parson wanted to make sure that Mrs. Fripp would know the taste of bacon-fat again. So, when Mr. Gilfil died, Dame Fripp manifested her gratitude and reverence in the simply dingy fashion I have mentioned.

Mr. Gilfil laughed, and I have to admit that he said goodbye to Dame Fripp without asking her why she hadn’t been to church or making any effort for her spiritual well-being. But the next day, he told his man David to take her a big piece of bacon with a note saying that the parson wanted to make sure Mrs. Fripp would know the taste of bacon fat again. So, when Mr. Gilfil passed away, Dame Fripp showed her gratitude and respect in the simply shabby way I mentioned before.

You already suspect that the Vicar did not shine in the more spiritual functions of his office; and indeed, the utmost I can say for him in this respect is, that he performed those functions with undeviating attention to brevity and despatch. He had a large heap of short sermons, rather yellow and worn at the edges, from which he took two every Sunday, securing perfect impartiality in the selection by taking them as they came, without reference to topics; and having preached one of these sermons at Shepperton in the morning, he mounted his horse and rode hastily with the other in his pocket to Knebley, where he officiated in a wonderful little church, with a checkered pavement which had once rung to the iron tread of military monks, with coats of arms in clusters on the lofty roof, marble warriors and their wives without noses occupying a large proportion of the area, and the twelve apostles, with their heads very much on one side, holding didactic ribbons, painted in fresco on the walls. Here, in an absence of mind to which he was prone, Mr. Gilfil would sometimes forget to take off his spurs before putting on his surplice, and only become aware of the omission by feeling something mysteriously tugging at the skirts of that garment as he stepped into the reading-desk. But the Knebley farmers would as soon have thought of criticizing the moon as their pastor. He belonged to the course of nature, like markets and toll-gates and dirty bank-notes; and being a vicar, his claim on their veneration had never been counteracted by an exasperating claim on their pockets. Some of them, who did not indulge in the superfluity of a covered cart without springs, had dined half an hour earlier than usual—that is to say, at twelve o’clock—in order to have time for their long walk through miry lanes, and present themselves duly in their places at two o’clock, when Mr. Oldinport and Lady Felicia, to whom Knebley Church was a sort of family temple, made their way among the bows and curtsies of their dependants to a carved and canopied pew in the chancel, diffusing as they went a delicate odour of Indian roses on the unsusceptible nostrils of the congregation.

You already have a feeling that the Vicar wasn’t great at the more spiritual aspects of his job; and honestly, the most I can say for him in this regard is that he carried out those duties with a consistent focus on being quick and to the point. He had a big stack of short sermons, a bit yellowed and worn at the edges, from which he picked two every Sunday, ensuring total fairness in his choices by taking them as they came, without considering the topics; and after delivering one of these sermons at Shepperton in the morning, he hopped on his horse and hurried off with the other in his pocket to Knebley, where he officiated in a charming little church, with a checkered floor that had once echoed to the iron steps of military monks, with coats of arms clustered on the high ceiling, marble warriors and their wives, missing noses, taking up a large part of the space, and the twelve apostles, with their heads tilted oddly, holding instructional ribbons, painted in fresco on the walls. Here, in a moment of absentmindedness that he was known for, Mr. Gilfil would sometimes forget to remove his spurs before putting on his surplice, only realizing the mistake when he felt something oddly tugging at the edges of that garment as he stepped up to the reading-desk. But the Knebley farmers wouldn’t have dared to criticize their pastor any more than they would the moon. He was part of the natural order, like markets and toll-gates and dirty banknotes; and being a vicar, his claim on their respect was never challenged by an annoying demand on their wallets. Some of them, who didn’t have the luxury of a covered cart without springs, had eaten half an hour earlier than usual—at twelve o’clock—so they could make their long trek through muddy lanes and arrive in their seats on time at two o’clock, when Mr. Oldinport and Lady Felicia, for whom Knebley Church was like a family chapel, made their way past the bows and curtsies of their dependants to a carved and canopied pew in the chancel, spreading a gentle scent of Indian roses into the totally indifferent nostrils of the congregation.

The farmers’ wives and children sat on the dark oaken benches, but the husbands usually chose the distinctive dignity of a stall under one of the twelve apostles, where, when the alternation of prayers and responses had given place to the agreeable monotony of the sermon, Paterfamilias might be seen or heard sinking into a pleasant doze, from which he infallibly woke up at the sound of the concluding doxology. And then they made their way back again through the miry lanes, perhaps almost as much the better for this simple weekly tribute to what they knew of good and right, as many a more wakeful and critical congregation of the present day.

The farmers’ wives and kids sat on the dark wooden benches, but the husbands usually preferred the notable dignity of a spot under one of the twelve apostles. After the prayers and responses transitioned into the calming routine of the sermon, you could often see or hear Paterfamilias settling into a nice nap, only to wake up at the sound of the final doxology. Then they made their way back through the muddy paths, likely feeling just as uplifted by this simple weekly tribute to what they understood as good and right, as many more alert and critical audiences today.

Mr. Gilfil, too, used to make his way home in the later years of his life, for he had given up the habit of dining at Knebley Abbey on a Sunday, having, I am sorry to say, had a very bitter quarrel with Mr. Oldinport, the cousin and predecessor of the Mr. Oldinport who flourished in the Rev. Amos Barton’s time. That quarrel was a sad pity, for the two had had many a good day’s hunting together when they were younger, and in those friendly times not a few members of the hunt envied Mr. Oldinport the excellent terms he was on with his vicar; for, as Sir Jasper Sitwell observed, ‘next to a man’s wife, there’s nobody can be such an infernal plague to you as a parson, always under your nose on your own estate.’

Mr. Gilfil, too, used to head home in the later years of his life since he had stopped dining at Knebley Abbey on Sundays. Unfortunately, he had a bitter falling out with Mr. Oldinport, the cousin of the Mr. Oldinport who was around during Rev. Amos Barton’s time. That fight was a real shame because the two had shared many enjoyable hunting days together when they were younger, and back in those friendly days, several members of the hunt envied Mr. Oldinport for the great relationship he had with his vicar. As Sir Jasper Sitwell noted, “Next to a man’s wife, there’s nobody who can be such an awful nuisance to you as a parson, always hanging around on your own property.”

I fancy the original difference which led to the rupture was very slight; but Mr. Gilfil was of an extremely caustic turn, his satire having a flavour of originality which was quite wanting in his sermons; and as Mr. Oldinport’s armour of conscious virtue presented some considerable and conspicuous gaps, the Vicar’s keen-edged retorts probably made a few incisions too deep to be forgiven. Such, at least, was the view of the case presented by Mr. Hackit, who knew as much of the matter as any third person. For, the very week after the quarrel, when presiding at the annual dinner of the Association for the Prosecution of Felons, held at the Oldinport Arms, he contributed an additional zest to the conviviality on that occasion by informing the company that ‘the parson had given the squire a lick with the rough side of his tongue.’ The detection of the person or persons who had driven off Mr. Parrot’s heifer, could hardly have been more welcome news to the Shepperton tenantry, with whom Mr. Oldinport was in the worst odour as a landlord, having kept up his rents in spite of falling prices, and not being in the least stung to emulation by paragraphs in the provincial newspapers, stating that the Honourable Augustus Purwell, or Viscount Blethers, had made a return of ten per cent on their last rent-day. The fact was, Mr. Oldinport had not the slightest intention of standing for Parliament, whereas he had the strongest intention of adding to his unentailed estate. Hence, to the Shepperton farmers it was as good as lemon with their grog to know that the Vicar had thrown out sarcasms against the Squire’s charities, as little better than those of the man who stole a goose, and gave away the giblets in alms. For Shepperton, you observe, was in a state of Attic culture compared with Knebley; it had turnpike roads and a public opinion, whereas, in the Bœotian Knebley, men’s minds and waggons alike moved in the deepest of ruts, and the landlord was only grumbled at as a necessary and unalterable evil, like the weather, the weevils, and the turnip-fly.

I think the original disagreement that caused the split was really minor; however, Mr. Gilfil had a very sharp tongue, and his sarcasm had a unique edge that his sermons lacked. Mr. Oldinport’s self-righteousness had some noticeable gaps, and the Vicar’s cutting remarks probably left a few wounds too deep to heal. At least, that was the perspective of Mr. Hackit, who knew as much about the situation as anyone outside could. The very week after the argument, while leading the annual dinner of the Association for the Prosecution of Felons at the Oldinport Arms, he added some extra excitement to the gathering by telling everyone that “the parson had given the squire a taste of his sharp tongue.” The discovery of who had taken Mr. Parrot’s heifer would have been better news for the Shepperton tenants, who saw Mr. Oldinport as a terrible landlord for raising rents despite falling prices, and he was not at all inspired by local newspaper articles stating that the Honourable Augustus Purwell or Viscount Blethers had offered a ten percent return on the last rent day. The truth was, Mr. Oldinport had no intention of running for Parliament and was very focused on expanding his untitled estate. Thus, for the Shepperton farmers, it was as refreshing as lemon in their drinks to hear that the Vicar had criticized the Squire’s charitable deeds as being no better than those of a man who stole a goose and gave away the leftovers as alms. Shepperton, you see, was much more cultured compared to Knebley; it had decent roads and a sense of public opinion, whereas in the stagnant Knebley, both minds and wagons were stuck in deep ruts, and the landlord was only grumbled about as an unavoidable nuisance, like the weather, weevils, and turnip flies.

Thus in Shepperton this breach with Mr. Oldinport tended only to heighten that good understanding which the Vicar had always enjoyed with the rest of his parishioners, from the generation whose children he had christened a quarter of a century before, down to that hopeful generation represented by little Tommy Bond, who had recently quitted frocks and trousers for the severe simplicity of a tight suit of corduroys, relieved by numerous brass buttons. Tommy was a saucy boy, impervious to all impressions of reverence, and excessively addicted to humming-tops and marbles, with which recreative resources he was in the habit of immoderately distending the pockets of his corduroys. One day, spinning his top on the garden-walk, and seeing the Vicar advance directly towards it, at that exciting moment when it was beginning to ‘sleep’ magnificently, he shouted out with all the force of his lungs—‘Stop! don’t knock my top down, now!’ From that day ‘little Corduroys’ had been an especial favourite with Mr. Gilfil, who delighted to provoke his ready scorn and wonder by putting questions which gave Tommy the meanest opinion of his intellect.

Thus in Shepperton, the fallout with Mr. Oldinport only strengthened the good relationship the Vicar had always had with his parishioners, from the generation whose children he had baptized twenty-five years ago to the hopeful generation represented by little Tommy Bond, who had recently traded in his frocks and trousers for the simple yet stylish tight corduroy suit adorned with lots of brass buttons. Tommy was a cheeky boy, completely unruffled by any sense of reverence, and very much into spinning tops and marbles, with which he stuffed the pockets of his corduroys to bursting. One day, while spinning his top on the garden path and seeing the Vicar approach just as it was about to ‘sleep’ beautifully, he shouted at the top of his lungs—‘Stop! don’t knock my top down, now!’ From that day on, ‘little Corduroys’ became a particular favorite of Mr. Gilfil, who loved to tease him by asking questions that made Tommy think very little of his intellect.

‘Well, little Corduroys, have they milked the geese to-day?’

‘Well, little Corduroys, did they milk the geese today?’

‘Milked the geese! why, they don’t milk the geese, you silly!’

‘Milked the geese! Why would they milk geese, you silly!’

‘No! dear heart! why, how do the goslings live, then?’

‘No! sweetheart! how do the goslings survive, then?’

The nutriment of goslings rather transcending Tommy’s observations in natural history, he feigned to understand this question in an exclamatory rather than an interrogatory sense, and became absorbed in winding up his top.

The food of goslings went beyond Tommy’s observations in natural history; he pretended to understand this question more as an exclamation than as a query, and got lost in winding up his top.

‘Ah, I see you don’t know how the goslings live! But did you notice how it rained sugar-plums yesterday?’ (Here Tommy became attentive.) ‘Why, they fell into my pocket as I rode along. You look in my pocket and see if they didn’t.’ Tommy, without waiting to discuss the alleged antecedent, lost no time in ascertaining the presence of the agreeable consequent, for he had a well-founded belief in the advantages of diving into the Vicar’s pocket. Mr. Gilfil called it his wonderful pocket, because, as he delighted to tell the ‘young shavers’ and ‘two-shoes’—so he called all little boys and girls—whenever he put pennies into it, they turned into sugar-plums or gingerbread, or some other nice thing. Indeed, little Bessie Parrot, a flaxen-headed ‘two-shoes’, very white and fat as to her neck, always had the admirable directness and sincerity to salute him with the question—‘What zoo dot in zoo pottet?’

‘Oh, I see you don’t know how the goslings live! But did you notice how it rained candy yesterday?’ (Here Tommy became interested.) ‘Well, they fell into my pocket as I rode along. Check my pocket and see if they didn’t.’ Tommy, without bothering to discuss the supposed previous event, quickly went to see if the delightful result was true, as he had a solid belief in the benefits of checking the Vicar’s pocket. Mr. Gilfil called it his amazing pocket, because, as he loved to tell the ‘young kids’ and ‘little ones’—that’s what he called all boys and girls—whenever he put pennies in it, they turned into candy or cookies, or some other tasty treat. In fact, little Bessie Parrot, a blonde ‘little one’, very pale and chubby around her neck, always had the admirable honesty and directness to greet him with the question—‘What do you have in your pocket?’

You can imagine, then, that the christening dinners were none the less merry for the presence of the parson. The farmers relished his society particularly, for he could not only smoke his pipe, and season the details of parish affairs with abundance of caustic jokes and proverbs, but, as Mr. Bond often said, no man knew more than the Vicar about the breed of cows and horses. He had grazing-land of his own about five miles off, which a bailiff, ostensibly a tenant, farmed under his direction; and to ride backwards and forwards, and look after the buying and selling of stock, was the old gentleman’s chief relaxation, now his hunting days were over. To hear him discussing the respective merits of the Devonshire breed and the short-horns, or the last foolish decision of the magistrates about a pauper, a superficial observer might have seen little difference, beyond his superior shrewdness, between the Vicar and his bucolic parishioners; for it was his habit to approximate his accent and mode of speech to theirs, doubtless because he thought it a mere frustration of the purposes of language to talk of ‘shear-hogs’ and ‘ewes’ to men who habitually said ‘sharrags’ and ‘yowes’. Nevertheless the farmers themselves were perfectly aware of the distinction between them and the parson, and had not at all the less belief in him as a gentleman and a clergyman for his easy speech and familiar manners. Mrs. Parrot smoothed her apron and set her cap right with the utmost solicitude when she saw the Vicar coming, made him her deepest curtsy, and every Christmas had a fat turkey ready to send him with her ‘duty’. And in the most gossiping colloquies with Mr. Gilfil, you might have observed that both men and women ‘minded their words’, and never became indifferent to his approbation.

You can imagine, then, that the christening dinners were just as joyful with the parson there. The farmers especially enjoyed his company because he could smoke his pipe and spice up discussions about parish matters with plenty of sharp jokes and sayings. As Mr. Bond often mentioned, no one knew more than the Vicar about breeds of cows and horses. He owned grazing land about five miles away, which a bailiff, who pretended to be a tenant, managed under his guidance; riding back and forth to handle the buying and selling of livestock was the old gentleman’s favorite pastime now that his hunting days were behind him. Listening to him talk about the perks of the Devonshire breed versus the short-horns or the latest ridiculous ruling from the magistrates regarding a pauper, a casual observer might have noticed little difference, aside from his sharper wit, between the Vicar and his rural parishioners; he often adjusted his accent and speech to match theirs, probably because he thought it pointless to refer to ‘shear-hogs’ and ‘ewes’ to men who typically said ‘sharrags’ and ‘yowes’. Nevertheless, the farmers knew very well that there was a distinction between them and the parson, and they didn’t doubt him as a gentleman and a clergyman because of his relaxed speech and friendly manner. Mrs. Parrot would smooth her apron and adjust her cap with great care when she saw the Vicar coming, give him her deepest curtsy, and every Christmas, she had a fat turkey ready to send him with her ‘duty’. In the most gossipy conversations with Mr. Gilfil, you could tell that both men and women chose their words carefully and never disregarded his approval.

The same respect attended him in his strictly clerical functions. The benefits of baptism were supposed to be somehow bound up with Mr. Gilfil’s personality, so metaphysical a distinction as that between a man and his office being, as yet, quite foreign to the mind of a good Shepperton Churchman, savouring, he would have thought, of Dissent on the very face of it. Miss Selina Parrot put off her marriage a whole month when Mr. Gilfil had an attack of rheumatism, rather than be married in a makeshift manner by the Milby curate.

The same respect followed him in his strictly clerical duties. People thought that the benefits of baptism were somehow tied to Mr. Gilfil’s personality, as the distinction between a person and their role was still quite foreign to the mind of a good Shepperton Church member, which he would have considered to hint at Dissent right from the start. Miss Selina Parrot postponed her wedding by a whole month when Mr. Gilfil had a bout of rheumatism, rather than be married in a haphazard way by the Milby curate.

‘We’ve had a very good sermon this morning’, was the frequent remark, after hearing one of the old yellow series, heard with all the more satisfaction because it had been heard for the twentieth time; for to minds on the Shepperton level it is repetition, not novelty, that produces the strongest effect; and phrases, like tunes, are a long time making themselves at home in the brain.

‘We had a really good sermon this morning,’ was the common comment after hearing one of the old yellow series, enjoyed even more because it was the twentieth time hearing it; for people at the Shepperton level find that repetition, not novelty, creates the strongest impact; and phrases, like songs, take a while to settle in the mind.

Mr. Gilfil’s sermons, as you may imagine, were not of a highly doctrinal, still less of a polemical, cast. They perhaps did not search the conscience very powerfully; for you remember that to Mrs. Patten, who had listened to them thirty years, the announcement that she was a sinner appeared an uncivil heresy; but, on the other hand, they made no unreasonable demand on the Shepperton intellect—amounting, indeed, to little more than an expansion of the concise thesis, that those who do wrong will find it the worse for them, and those who do well will find it the better for them; the nature of wrong-doing being exposed in special sermons against lying, backbiting, anger, slothfulness, and the like; and well-doing being interpreted as honesty, truthfulness, charity, industry, and other common virtues, lying quite on the surface of life, and having very little to do with deep spiritual doctrine. Mrs. Patten understood that if she turned out ill-crushed cheeses, a just retribution awaited her; though, I fear, she made no particular application of the sermon on backbiting. Mrs. Hackit expressed herself greatly edified by the sermon on honesty, the allusion to the unjust weight and deceitful balance having a peculiar lucidity for her, owing to a recent dispute with her grocer; but I am not aware that she ever appeared to be much struck by the sermon on anger.

Mr. Gilfil’s sermons, as you can imagine, weren’t highly doctrinal or even argumentative. They probably didn’t weigh heavily on the conscience; after all, Mrs. Patten, who had been listening for thirty years, thought it was downright rude to say she was a sinner. On the flip side, they didn't ask too much of the Shepperton intellect—essentially just reiterating the idea that those who do wrong will end up worse off, while those who do right will benefit. The nature of wrongdoing was highlighted in specific sermons about lying, gossiping, anger, laziness, and similar topics; conversely, doing good was defined as honesty, truthfulness, charity, hard work, and other everyday virtues, all of which are pretty straightforward and not deeply connected to complex spiritual doctrine. Mrs. Patten knew that if she produced poorly made cheeses, she’d face proper consequences; although, I’m afraid she didn’t seem to apply the sermon on gossiping to herself. Mrs. Hackit said she found the sermon on honesty really enlightening, especially the reference to unfair weights and deceptive scales, because of a recent argument with her grocer. But I’m not sure she was particularly impacted by the sermon on anger.

As to any suspicion that Mr. Gilfil did not dispense the pure Gospel, or any strictures on his doctrine and mode of delivery, such thoughts never visited the minds of the Shepperton parishioners—of those very parishioners who, ten or fifteen years later, showed themselves extremely critical of Mr. Barton’s discourses and demeanour. But in the interim they had tasted that dangerous fruit of the tree of knowledge—innovation which is well known to open the eyes, even in an uncomfortable manner. At present, to find fault with the sermon was regarded as almost equivalent to finding fault with religion itself. One Sunday, Mr. Hackit’s nephew, Master Tom Stokes, a flippant town youth, greatly scandalized his excellent relatives by declaring that he could write as good a sermon as Mr. Gilfil’s; whereupon Mr. Hackit sought to reduce the presumptuous youth to utter confusion, by offering him a sovereign if he would fulfil his vaunt. The sermon was written, however; and though it was not admitted to be anywhere within reach of Mr. Gilfil’s, it was yet so astonishingly like a sermon, having a text, three divisions, and a concluding exhortation beginning ‘And now, my brethren’, that the sovereign, though denied formally, was bestowed informally, and the sermon was pronounced, when Master Stokes’s back was turned, to be ‘an uncommon cliver thing’.

As for any doubts about whether Mr. Gilfil delivered the true Gospel, or any criticisms of his teachings and style, those thoughts never crossed the minds of the Shepperton parishioners—those same parishioners who, ten or fifteen years later, became very critical of Mr. Barton’s sermons and behavior. But in the meantime, they had encountered that tricky fruit of the tree of knowledge—innovation, which is known to open one’s eyes, even in a troubling way. At that time, criticizing the sermon was seen as nearly the same as criticizing religion itself. One Sunday, Mr. Hackit’s nephew, Master Tom Stokes, a cheeky town boy, shocked his respectable relatives by claiming he could write a sermon just as good as Mr. Gilfil’s; to this, Mr. Hackit tried to humble the arrogant youth by offering him a gold coin if he could deliver on his boast. However, the sermon was written, and although it didn’t quite match Mr. Gilfil’s quality, it was surprisingly similar to a sermon, featuring a text, three main points, and a concluding exhortation starting with ‘And now, my brethren.’ The gold coin, while formally denied, was informally given, and the sermon was declared, when Master Stokes wasn’t looking, to be ‘an uncommon clever thing.’

The Rev. Mr. Pickard, indeed, of the Independent Meeting, had stated, in a sermon preached at Rotheby, for the reduction of a debt on New Zion, built, with an exuberance of faith and a deficiency of funds, by seceders from the original Zion, that he lived in a parish where the Vicar was very ‘dark’, and in the prayers he addressed to his own congregation, he was in the habit of comprehensively alluding to the parishioners outside the chapel walls, as those who, ‘Gallio-like, cared for none of these things’. But I need hardly say that no church-goer ever came within earshot of Mr. Pickard.

The Rev. Mr. Pickard, from the Independent Meeting, mentioned in a sermon he delivered at Rotheby, aimed at raising funds to pay off a debt for New Zion, which was built with great faith but not enough money by those who separated from the original Zion, that he was in a parish where the Vicar was quite 'out of touch.' In the prayers he offered to his own congregation, he often referred broadly to the parishioners outside the chapel as those who, 'Gallio-like, didn’t care about any of this.' But I should point out that no church-goer ever got close enough to hear Mr. Pickard.

It was not to the Shepperton farmers only that Mr. Gilfil’s society was acceptable; he was a welcome guest at some of the best houses in that part of the country. Old Sir Jasper Sitwell would have been glad to see him every week; and if you had seen him conducting Lady Sitwell in to dinner, or had heard him talking to her with quaint yet graceful gallantry, you would have inferred that the earlier period of his life had been passed in more stately society than could be found in Shepperton, and that his slipshod chat and homely manners were but like weather-stains on a fine old block of marble, allowing you still to see here and there the fineness of the grain, and the delicacy of the original tint. But in his later years these visits became a little too troublesome to the old gentleman, and he was rarely to be found anywhere of an evening beyond the bounds of his own parish—most frequently, indeed, by the side of his own sitting-room fire, smoking his pipe, and maintaining the pleasing antithesis of dryness and moisture by an occasional sip of gin-and-water.

It wasn't just the Shepperton farmers who appreciated Mr. Gilfil's company; he was a welcomed guest at some of the finest homes in the area. Old Sir Jasper Sitwell would have loved to see him every week. If you had seen him escorting Lady Sitwell to dinner or heard him speaking to her with charming yet elegant gallantry, you would have guessed that the earlier part of his life was spent in a more refined society than what was found in Shepperton. His casual conversation and down-to-earth demeanor were like weather stains on a beautiful old piece of marble, allowing you to still catch glimpses of its fine grain and the subtlety of its original color. However, in his later years, these visits became a bit too much for the old gentleman, and he was rarely found anywhere in the evenings beyond his own parish—most often by the fire in his own sitting room, smoking his pipe and enjoying a comforting mix of gin and water.

Here I am aware that I have run the risk of alienating all my refined lady-readers, and utterly annihilating any curiosity they may have felt to know the details of Mr. Gilfil’s love-story. ‘Gin-and-water! foh! you may as well ask us to interest ourselves in the romance of a tallow-chandler, who mingles the image of his beloved with short dips and moulds.’

Here I realize that I might have put off all my sophisticated female readers, completely killing any interest they might have had in the details of Mr. Gilfil’s love story. ‘Gin-and-water! Ugh! You might as well ask us to care about the romance of a candle maker, who blends the memory of his sweetheart with his work.’

But in the first place, dear ladies, allow me to plead that gin-and-water, like obesity, or baldness, or the gout, does not exclude a vast amount of antecedent romance, any more than the neatly-executed ‘fronts’ which you may some day wear, will exclude your present possession of less expensive braids. Alas, alas! we poor mortals are often little better than wood-ashes—there is small sign of the sap, and the leafy freshness, and the bursting buds that were once there; but wherever we see wood-ashes, we know that all that early fullness of life must have been. I, at least, hardly ever look at a bent old man, or a wizened old woman, but I see also, with my mind’s eye, that Past of which they are the shrunken remnant, and the unfinished romance of rosy cheeks and bright eyes seems sometimes of feeble interest and significance, compared with that drama of hope and love which has long ago reached its catastrophe, and left the poor soul, like a dim and dusty stage, with all its sweet garden-scenes and fair perspectives overturned and thrust out of sight.

But first, dear ladies, let me say that gin and water, like being overweight, or baldness, or gout, doesn’t erase a lot of previous romance, just as the polished hairstyles you might wear someday don’t take away from your current less expensive styles. Alas! We poor humans are often not much better than wood ashes—there's little sign of the life, the lushness, and the budding energy that used to be there; but whenever we see wood ashes, we know that all that early vitality once existed. I can rarely look at a bent old man or a wrinkled old woman without also picturing, in my mind, the past they represent, and the unfinished story of their youthful faces and bright eyes often seems insignificant compared to the drama of hope and love that has long since played out, leaving the poor soul like a dim and dusty stage, with all its beautiful scenes and perspectives turned over and hidden away.

In the second place, let me assure you that Mr. Gilfil’s potations of gin-and-water were quite moderate. His nose was not rubicund; on the contrary, his white hair hung around a pale and venerable face. He drank it chiefly, I believe, because it was cheap; and here I find myself alighting on another of the Vicar’s weaknesses, which, if I had cared to paint a flattering portrait rather than a faithful one, I might have chosen to suppress. It is undeniable that, as the years advanced, Mr. Gilfil became, as Mr. Hackit observed, more and more ‘close-fisted’, though the growing propensity showed itself rather in the parsimony of his personal habits, than in withholding help from the needy. He was saving—so he represented the matter to himself—for a nephew, the only son of a sister who had been the dearest object, all but one, in his life. ‘The lad,’ he thought, ‘will have a nice little fortune to begin life with, and will bring his pretty young wife some day to see the spot where his old uncle lies. It will perhaps be all the better for his hearth that mine was lonely.’

In the second place, let me assure you that Mr. Gilfil’s drinks of gin and water were quite moderate. His nose wasn’t red; on the contrary, his white hair framed a pale and venerable face. He mostly drank it, I believe, because it was affordable; and here I find myself highlighting another of the Vicar’s flaws, which, if I had wanted to present a flattering picture instead of a truthful one, I might have chosen to leave out. It's undeniable that, as the years went by, Mr. Gilfil became, as Mr. Hackit noted, more and more ‘tight-fisted,’ though this tendency showed up more in the frugality of his habits than in denying assistance to those in need. He was saving—so he convinced himself—for a nephew, the only son of a sister who had been the dearest person, except for one, in his life. ‘The young man,’ he thought, ‘will have a nice little fortune to start his life with, and one day he’ll bring his lovely young wife to visit the place where his old uncle rests. It might even be better for his home that mine was lonely.’

Mr. Gilfil was a bachelor, then?

Mr. Gilfil was single, right?

That is the conclusion to which you would probably have come if you had entered his sitting-room, where the bare tables, the large old-fashioned horse-hair chairs, and the threadbare Turkey carpet perpetually fumigated with tobacco, seemed to tell a story of wifeless existence that was contradicted by no portrait, no piece of embroidery, no faded bit of pretty triviality, hinting of taper-fingers and small feminine ambitions. And it was here that Mr. Gilfil passed his evenings, seldom with other society than that of Ponto, his old brown setter, who, stretched out at full length on the rug with his nose between his fore-paws, would wrinkle his brows and lift up his eyelids every now and then, to exchange a glance of mutual understanding with his master. But there was a chamber in Shepperton Vicarage which told a different story from that bare and cheerless dining-room—a chamber never entered by any one besides Mr. Gilfil and old Martha the housekeeper, who, with David her husband as groom and gardener, formed the Vicar’s entire establishment. The blinds of this chamber were always down, except once a-quarter, when Martha entered that she might air and clean it. She always asked Mr. Gilfil for the key, which he kept locked up in his bureau, and returned it to him when she had finished her task.

That’s the conclusion you would probably reach if you walked into his sitting room, where the empty tables, the large old-fashioned horsehair chairs, and the worn Turkey carpet perpetually smelled of tobacco, all seemed to tell a story of a life without a wife—something that was contradicted by no portrait, no piece of embroidery, nor any faded hint of pretty little things that suggested delicate fingers and small feminine dreams. This was where Mr. Gilfil spent his evenings, usually in the company of Ponto, his old brown setter, who would lie stretched out on the rug with his nose between his front paws, occasionally wrinkling his brow and lifting his eyelids to share a look of understanding with his master. But there was a room in Shepperton Vicarage that told a different story than that bare and dreary dining room—a room only entered by Mr. Gilfil and old Martha, the housekeeper, who, along with her husband David as groom and gardener, made up the Vicar’s entire household. The blinds in this room were always down, except once a quarter when Martha would go in to air it out and clean it. She always asked Mr. Gilfil for the key, which he kept locked up in his bureau, and returned it to him once she was done with her work.

It was a touching sight that the daylight streamed in upon, as Martha drew aside the blinds and thick curtains, and opened the Gothic casement of the oriel window! On the little dressing-table there was a dainty looking-glass in a carved and gilt frame; bits of wax-candle were still in the branched sockets at the sides, and on one of these branches hung a little black lace kerchief; a faded satin pin-cushion, with the pins rusted in it, a scent-bottle, and a large green fan, lay on the table; and on a dressing-box by the side of the glass was a work-basket, and an unfinished baby-cap, yellow with age, lying in it. Two gowns, of a fashion long forgotten, were hanging on nails against the door, and a pair of tiny red slippers, with a bit of tarnished silver embroidery on them, were standing at the foot of the bed. Two or three water-colour drawings, views of Naples, hung upon the walls; and over the mantelpiece, above some bits of rare old china, two miniatures in oval frames. One of these miniatures represented a young man about seven-and-twenty, with a sanguine complexion, full lips, and clear candid grey eyes. The other was the likeness of a girl probably not more than eighteen, with small features, thin cheeks, a pale southern-looking complexion, and large dark eyes. The gentleman wore powder; the lady had her dark hair gathered away from her face, and a little cap, with a cherry-coloured bow, set on the top of her head—a coquettish head-dress, but the eyes spoke of sadness rather than of coquetry.

It was a moving scene bathed in daylight as Martha pulled back the blinds and heavy curtains and opened the Gothic window! On the small dressing table, there was a charming mirror in an intricately carved and gilded frame; bits of wax from candles were still in the branched candleholders on either side, and from one of these branches hung a little black lace handkerchief. A faded satin pin cushion, with rusted pins, a perfume bottle, and a large green fan were scattered on the table; next to the mirror sat a work basket containing an unfinished baby cap, yellowed with age. Two dresses, from a style long forgotten, hung on nails by the door, and a pair of tiny red slippers, with a patch of tarnished silver embroidery on them, rested at the foot of the bed. On the walls hung two or three watercolor paintings of views of Naples, and above the mantel, alongside some pieces of rare old china, were two miniatures in oval frames. One miniature depicted a young man around twenty-seven, with a rosy complexion, full lips, and clear, honest gray eyes. The other was a portrait of a girl likely no older than eighteen, with delicate features, thin cheeks, a pale complexion typical of the south, and large dark eyes. The man wore powdered hair; the woman had her dark hair styled away from her face, topped with a little cap that had a cherry-colored bow—a playful accessory, but her eyes conveyed more sadness than flirtation.

Such were the things that Martha had dusted and let the air upon, four times a-year, ever since she was a blooming lass of twenty; and she was now, in this last decade of Mr. Gilfil’s life, unquestionably on the wrong side of fifty. Such was the locked-up chamber in Mr. Gilfil’s house: a sort of visible symbol of the secret chamber in his heart, where he had long turned the key on early hopes and early sorrows, shutting up for ever all the passion and the poetry of his life.

Such were the things that Martha had dusted and aired out four times a year, ever since she was a young woman of twenty; and now, in this last decade of Mr. Gilfil’s life, she was definitely on the wrong side of fifty. Such was the locked-up room in Mr. Gilfil’s house: a kind of visible symbol of the secret place in his heart, where he had long since locked away his early hopes and sorrows, shutting away forever all the passion and poetry of his life.

There were not many people in the parish, besides Martha, who had any very distinct remembrance of Mr. Gilfil’s wife, or indeed who knew anything of her, beyond the fact that there was a marble tablet, with a Latin inscription in memory of her, over the vicarage pew. The parishioners who were old enough to remember her arrival were not generally gifted with descriptive powers, and the utmost you could gather from them was, that Mrs. Gilfil looked like a ‘furriner, wi’ such eyes, you can’t think, an’ a voice as went through you when she sung at church.’ The one exception was Mrs. Patten, whose strong memory and taste for personal narrative made her a great source of oral tradition in Shepperton. Mr. Hackit, who had not come into the parish until ten years after Mrs. Gilfil’s death, would often put old questions to Mrs. Patten for the sake of getting the old answers, which pleased him in the same way as passages from a favourite book, or the scenes of a familiar play, please more accomplished people.

There weren’t many people in the parish, apart from Martha, who had a clear memory of Mr. Gilfil’s wife, or who really knew anything about her, other than the fact that there was a marble tablet with a Latin inscription in her honor over the vicarage pew. The parishioners who were old enough to remember her arrival didn’t really have a way with words, and the most you could get from them was that Mrs. Gilfil looked like a ‘foreigner, with eyes you can’t imagine, and a voice that got under your skin when she sang in church.’ The one exception was Mrs. Patten, whose sharp memory and love for storytelling made her a key source of local history in Shepperton. Mr. Hackit, who hadn’t moved to the parish until ten years after Mrs. Gilfil had passed away, often asked Mrs. Patten old questions just to hear her answers, which he enjoyed as much as people enjoy favorite quotes from beloved books or memorable scenes from plays.

‘Ah, you remember well the Sunday as Mrs. Gilfil first come to church, eh, Mrs. Patten?’

‘Ah, you remember well the Sunday when Mrs. Gilfil first came to church, right, Mrs. Patten?’

‘To be sure I do. It was a fine bright Sunday as ever was seen, just at the beginnin’ o’ hay harvest. Mr. Tarbett preached that day, and Mr. Gilfil sat i’ the pew with his wife. I think I see him now, a-leading her up the aisle, an’ her head not reachin’ much above his elber: a little pale woman, with eyes as black as sloes, an’ yet lookin’ blank-like, as if she see’d nothing with ’em.’

‘Of course I do. It was a brilliantly sunny Sunday, the start of hay harvest. Mr. Tarbett preached that day, and Mr. Gilfil sat in the pew with his wife. I think I can picture him now, walking her up the aisle, with her head barely reaching above his elbow: a small pale woman, with eyes as black as sloes, yet looking blankly, as if she couldn’t see anything with them.’

‘I warrant she had her weddin’ clothes on?’ said Mr. Hackit.

‘I bet she had her wedding clothes on?’ said Mr. Hackit.

‘Nothin’ partikler smart—on’y a white hat tied down under her chin, an’ a white Indy muslin gown. But you don’t know what Mr. Gilfil was in those times. He was fine an’ altered before you come into the parish. He’d a fresh colour then, an’ a bright look wi’ his eyes, as did your heart good to see. He looked rare and happy that Sunday; but somehow, I’d a feelin’ as it wouldn’t last long. I’ve no opinion o’ furriners, Mr. Hackit, for I’ve travelled i’ their country with my lady in my time, an’ seen enough o’ their victuals an’ their nasty ways.’

‘Nothing particularly fancy—just a white hat tied under her chin and a white muslin dress. But you don't know what Mr. Gilfil was like back then. He was good-looking and well-dressed before you came to the parish. He had a nice complexion and a bright look in his eyes that made your heart feel good. He looked quite cheerful that Sunday, but somehow, I had a feeling it wouldn’t last long. I don’t have a good opinion of foreigners, Mr. Hackit, because I've traveled in their countries with my lady in my time and seen enough of their food and their unpleasant ways.’

‘Mrs. Gilfil come from It’ly, didn’t she?’

‘Mrs. Gilfil came from Italy, didn’t she?’

‘I reckon she did, but I niver could rightly hear about that. Mr. Gilfil was niver to be spoke to about her, and nobody else hereabout knowed anythin’. Howiver, she must ha’ come over pretty young, for she spoke English as well as you an’ me. It’s them Italians as has such fine voices, an’ Mrs. Gilfil sung, you never heared the like. He brought her here to have tea with me one afternoon, and says he, in his jovial way, “Now, Mrs. Patten, I want Mrs. Gilfil to see the neatest house, and drink the best cup o’ tea, in all Shepperton; you must show her your dairy and your cheese-room, and then she shall sing you a song.” An’ so she did; an’ her voice seemed sometimes to fill the room; an’ then it went low an’ soft, as if it was whisperin’ close to your heart like.’

"I think she did, but I never really heard about that. Mr. Gilfil was never to be talked to about her, and nobody else around here knew anything. However, she must have come over pretty young, since she spoke English as well as you and I. It’s those Italians who have such beautiful voices, and Mrs. Gilfil sang; you never heard anything like it. He brought her here to have tea with me one afternoon, and he said, in his cheerful way, 'Now, Mrs. Patten, I want Mrs. Gilfil to see the nicest house and drink the best cup of tea in all of Shepperton; you must show her your dairy and your cheese room, and then she’ll sing you a song.' And she did; her voice seemed to sometimes fill the room, and then it dropped low and soft, as if it were whispering close to your heart."

‘You never heared her again, I reckon?’

‘You never heard from her again, I guess?’

‘No; she was sickly then, and she died in a few months after. She wasn’t in the parish much more nor half a year altogether. She didn’t seem lively that afternoon, an’ I could see she didn’t care about the dairy, nor the cheeses, on’y she pretended, to please him. As for him, I niver see’d a man so wrapt up in a woman. He looked at her as if he was worshippin’ her, an’ as if he wanted to lift her off the ground ivery minute, to save her the trouble o’ walkin’. Poor man, poor man! It had like to ha’ killed him when she died, though he niver gev way, but went on ridin’ about and preachin’. But he was wore to a shadder, an’ his eyes used to look as dead—you wouldn’t ha’ knowed ’em.’

‘No; she was really ill back then, and she passed away a few months later. She wasn’t in the community for more than half a year altogether. She didn’t seem very lively that afternoon, and I could tell she didn't care about the dairy or the cheeses, she just pretended to, to make him happy. As for him, I’ve never seen a man so devoted to a woman. He looked at her as if he was worshiping her, as if he wanted to lift her off the ground every minute to save her from having to walk. Poor man, poor man! It nearly killed him when she died, though he never gave in, but kept riding around and preaching. But he was worn down to a shadow, and his eyes seemed so lifeless—you wouldn’t have recognized them.’

‘She brought him no fortune?’

"Did she bring him any luck?"

‘Not she. All Mr. Gilfil’s property come by his mother’s side. There was blood an’ money too, there. It’s a thousand pities as he married i’ that way—a fine man like him, as might ha’ had the pick o’ the county, an’ had his grandchildren about him now. An’ him so fond o’ children, too.’

‘Not her. All of Mr. Gilfil’s wealth comes from his mother’s side. There was both lineage and money there. It’s such a shame that he married like that—a great man like him, who could have had the best in the county, and would have had his grandchildren around him now. And he was so fond of kids, too.’

In this manner Mrs. Patten usually wound up her reminiscences of the Vicar’s wife, of whom, you perceive, she knew but little. It was clear that the communicative old lady had nothing to tell of Mrs. Gilfil’s history previous to her arrival in Shepperton, and that she was unacquainted with Mr. Gilfil’s love-story.

In this way, Mrs. Patten usually wrapped up her memories of the Vicar’s wife, of whom, as you can see, she knew very little. It was obvious that the talkative old lady had nothing to share about Mrs. Gilfil’s past before she came to Shepperton, and that she didn’t know anything about Mr. Gilfil’s love story.

But I, dear reader, am quite as communicative as Mrs. Patten, and much better informed; so that, if you care to know more about the Vicar’s courtship and marriage, you need only carry your imagination back to the latter end of the last century, and your attention forward into the next chapter.

But I, dear reader, am just as open as Mrs. Patten, and much better informed; so, if you're interested in learning more about the Vicar’s courtship and marriage, all you need to do is take your imagination back to the end of the last century and your attention forward into the next chapter.

Chapter 2

It is the evening of the 21st of June 1788. The day has been bright and sultry, and the sun will still be more than an hour above the horizon, but his rays, broken by the leafy fretwork of the elms that border the park, no longer prevent two ladies from carrying out their cushions and embroidery, and seating themselves to work on the lawn in front of Cheverel Manor. The soft turf gives way even under the fairy tread of the younger lady, whose small stature and slim figure rest on the tiniest of full-grown feet. She trips along before the elder, carrying the cushions, which she places in the favourite spot, just on the slope by a clump of laurels, where they can see the sunbeams sparkling among the water-lilies, and can be themselves seen from the dining-room windows. She has deposited the cushions, and now turns round, so that you may have a full view of her as she stands waiting the slower advance of the elder lady. You are at once arrested by her large dark eyes, which, in their inexpressive unconscious beauty, resemble the eyes of a fawn, and it is only by an effort of attention that you notice the absence of bloom on her young cheek, and the southern yellowish tint of her small neck and face, rising above the little black lace kerchief which prevents the too immediate comparison of her skin with her white muslin gown. Her large eyes seem all the more striking because the dark hair is gathered away from her face, under a little cap set at the top of her head, with a cherry-coloured bow on one side.

It’s the evening of June 21, 1788. The day has been bright and humid, and the sun will still be more than an hour above the horizon, but its rays, filtered through the leafy branches of the elms lining the park, no longer stop two ladies from bringing out their cushions and embroidery and sitting down to work on the lawn in front of Cheverel Manor. The soft grass gives way even under the light steps of the younger lady, whose petite stature and slim figure rest on the smallest of fully grown feet. She light-footedly makes her way ahead of the older woman, carrying the cushions, which she places in their favorite spot, just on the slope by a cluster of laurels, where they can see the sunbeams sparkling on the water lilies, and can also be seen from the dining room windows. She has set down the cushions and now turns around, allowing you a full view of her as she waits for the slower pace of the elder lady. You are immediately drawn to her large dark eyes, which, in their innocent, unconscious beauty, resemble the eyes of a fawn, and it takes a moment to notice the lack of color in her young cheeks and the sun-kissed yellowish shade of her small neck and face, which rise above the little black lace kerchief that prevents an immediate comparison of her skin with her white muslin dress. Her large eyes stand out even more because her dark hair is pulled back away from her face, underneath a little cap perched on the crown of her head, adorned with a cherry-colored bow on one side.

The elder lady, who is advancing towards the cushions, is cast in a very different mould of womanhood. She is tall, and looks the taller because her powdered hair is turned backward over a toupee, and surmounted by lace and ribbons. She is nearly fifty, but her complexion is still fresh and beautiful, with the beauty of an auburn blond; her proud pouting lips, and her head thrown a little backward as she walks, give an expression of hauteur which is not contradicted by the cold grey eye. The tucked-in kerchief, rising full over the low tight bodice of her blue dress, sets off the majestic form of her bust, and she treads the lawn as if she were one of Sir Joshua Reynolds’ stately ladies, who had suddenly stepped from her frame to enjoy the evening cool.

The older woman, walking toward the cushions, is a completely different type of woman. She's tall, and appears even taller because her powdered hair is styled back over a wig and adorned with lace and ribbons. She's nearly fifty, but her complexion is still fresh and beautiful, resembling that of an auburn blonde; her proud, pouting lips and her head tilted slightly back as she walks give her an air of superiority that matches her cold grey eye. The tucked-in scarf, rising prominently over the tight bodice of her blue dress, highlights her elegant bust, and she strides across the lawn as if she stepped out of one of Sir Joshua Reynolds’ stately paintings to enjoy the cool of the evening.

‘Put the cushions lower, Caterina, that we may not have so much sun upon us,’ she called out, in a tone of authority, when still at some distance. Caterina obeyed, and they sat down, making two bright patches of red and white and blue on the green background of the laurels and the lawn, which would look none the less pretty in a picture because one of the women’s hearts was rather cold and the other rather sad.

‘Caterina, lower the cushions so we don’t get so much sun on us,’ she called out decisively from a distance. Caterina complied, and they sat down, creating two bright spots of red, white, and blue against the green backdrop of the laurels and the lawn. It would still look lovely in a picture, even if one of the women felt a bit cold inside and the other was somewhat sad.

And a charming picture Cheverel Manor would have made that evening, if some English Watteau had been there to paint it: the castellated house of grey-tinted stone, with the flickering sunbeams sending dashes of golden light across the many-shaped panes in the mullioned windows, and a great beech leaning athwart one of the flanking towers, and breaking, with its dark flattened boughs, the too formal symmetry of the front; the broad gravel-walk winding on the right, by a row of tall pines, alongside the pool—on the left branching out among swelling grassy mounds, surmounted by clumps of trees, where the red trunk of the Scotch fir glows in the descending sunlight against the bright green of limes and acacias; the great pool, where a pair of swans are swimming lazily with one leg tucked under a wing, and where the open water-lilies lie calmly accepting the kisses of the fluttering light-sparkles; the lawn, with its smooth emerald greenness, sloping down to the rougher and browner herbage of the park, from which it is invisibly fenced by a little stream that winds away from the pool, and disappears under a wooden bridge in the distant pleasure-ground; and on this lawn our two ladies, whose part in the landscape the painter, standing at a favourable point of view in the park, would represent with a few little dabs of red and white and blue.

And what a charming scene Cheverel Manor would have been that evening if an English Watteau had been there to paint it: the castle-like house of grey stone, with the flickering sunlight casting patches of golden light across the variously shaped panes in the mullioned windows, and a large beech tree leaning against one of the flanking towers, breaking up the overly formal symmetry of the front with its dark, flat branches; the broad gravel walkway on the right, lined with tall pines, next to the pool—on the left, branching out through rolling grassy mounds topped with clusters of trees, where the red trunk of the Scotch fir glows in the setting sunlight against the bright green of limes and acacias; the large pool, where a pair of swans glide lazily with one leg tucked under a wing, and where the open water-lilies lie peacefully accepting the caresses of the shimmering light; the lawn, with its smooth emerald green sloping down to the rougher, browner grass of the park, separated from it by a small stream that winds away from the pool and disappears under a wooden bridge in the distant garden; and on this lawn, our two ladies, whose part in the landscape the painter, standing at a perfect vantage point in the park, would capture with a few dabs of red, white, and blue.

Seen from the great Gothic windows of the dining-room, they had much more definiteness of outline, and were distinctly visible to the three gentlemen sipping their claret there, as two fair women in whom all three had a personal interest. These gentlemen were a group worth considering attentively; but any one entering that dining-room for the first time, would perhaps have had his attention even more strongly arrested by the room itself, which was so bare of furniture that it impressed one with its architectural beauty like a cathedral. A piece of matting stretched from door to door, a bit of worn carpet under the dining-table, and a sideboard in a deep recess, did not detain the eye for a moment from the lofty groined ceiling, with its richly-carved pendants, all of creamy white, relieved here and there by touches of gold. On one side, this lofty ceiling was supported by pillars and arches, beyond which a lower ceiling, a miniature copy of the higher one, covered the square projection which, with its three large pointed windows, formed the central feature of the building. The room looked less like a place to dine in than a piece of space enclosed simply for the sake of beautiful outline; and the small dining-table, with the party round it, seemed an odd and insignificant accident, rather than anything connected with the original purpose of the apartment.

Seen through the grand Gothic windows of the dining room, they had much clearer outlines and were easily noticeable to the three gentlemen sipping their claret there as two charming women, each of whom held personal interest for all three. This group of gentlemen was worth a closer look; however, anyone entering that dining room for the first time would probably find their attention even more drawn to the room itself, which was so sparsely furnished that it exuded architectural beauty similar to a cathedral. A piece of matting stretched from door to door, a bit of worn carpet under the dining table, and a sideboard tucked into a deep recess didn't distract from the lofty groined ceiling with its richly carved pendants, all in creamy white, accented here and there with touches of gold. On one side, this tall ceiling was supported by pillars and arches, beyond which a lower ceiling—an abbreviated version of the higher one—covered the square projection that, with its three large pointed windows, was the central feature of the building. The room felt less like a dining area and more like a space enclosed solely for the sake of beautiful outline; the small dining table and the people gathered around it seemed more like an odd and insignificant occurrence rather than anything tied to the original purpose of the room.

But, examined closely, that group was far from insignificant; for the eldest, who was reading in the newspaper the last portentous proceedings of the French parliaments, and turning with occasional comments to his young companions, was as fine a specimen of the old English gentleman as could well have been found in those venerable days of cocked-hats and pigtails. His dark eyes sparkled under projecting brows, made more prominent by bushy grizzled eyebrows; but any apprehension of severity excited by these penetrating eyes, and by a somewhat aquiline nose, was allayed by the good-natured lines about the mouth, which retained all its teeth and its vigour of expression in spite of sixty winters. The forehead sloped a little from the projecting brows, and its peaked outline was made conspicuous by the arrangement of the profusely-powdered hair, drawn backward and gathered into a pigtail. He sat in a small hard chair, which did not admit the slightest approach to a lounge, and which showed to advantage the flatness of his back and the breadth of his chest. In fact, Sir Christopher Cheverel was a splendid old gentleman, as any one may see who enters the saloon at Cheverel Manor, where his full-length portrait, taken when he was fifty, hangs side by side with that of his wife, the stately lady seated on the lawn.

But, when you take a closer look, that group was actually quite notable; the eldest member, who was reading the newspaper and discussing the latest significant developments in the French parliaments with his younger companions, was a perfect example of a traditional English gentleman from those old days of tricorne hats and pigtails. His dark eyes sparkled beneath prominent brows, which were accentuated by bushy gray eyebrows; however, any sense of sternness that might be evoked by his sharp eyes and somewhat hooked nose was eased by the friendly lines around his mouth, which still had all its teeth and expressive vitality despite sixty years of winters. His forehead sloped slightly from the prominent brows, and its pointed shape was highlighted by his heavily powdered hair, which was slicked back and tied into a pigtail. He was perched in a small, hard chair that provided no hint of comfort and emphasized the flatness of his back and the breadth of his chest. In fact, Sir Christopher Cheverel was an impressive old gentleman, as anyone can see upon entering the saloon at Cheverel Manor, where his full-length portrait, taken when he was fifty, hangs alongside that of his wife, the elegant lady seated on the lawn.

Looking at Sir Christopher, you would at once have been inclined to hope that he had a full-grown son and heir; but perhaps you would have wished that it might not prove to be the young man on his right hand, in whom a certain resemblance to the Baronet, in the contour of the nose and brow, seemed to indicate a family relationship. If this young man had been less elegant in his person, he would have been remarked for the elegance of his dress. But the perfections of his slim well-proportioned figure were so striking that no one but a tailor could notice the perfections of his velvet coat; and his small white hands, with their blue veins and taper fingers, quite eclipsed the beauty of his lace ruffles. The face, however—it was difficult to say why—was certainly not pleasing. Nothing could be more delicate than the blond complexion—its bloom set off by the powdered hair—than the veined overhanging eyelids, which gave an indolent expression to the hazel eyes; nothing more finely cut than the transparent nostril and the short upper-lip. Perhaps the chin and lower jaw were too small for an irreproachable profile, but the defect was on the side of that delicacy and finesse which was the distinctive characteristic of the whole person, and which was carried out in the clear brown arch of the eyebrows, and the marble smoothness of the sloping forehead. Impossible to say that this face was not eminently handsome; yet, for the majority both of men and women, it was destitute of charm. Women disliked eyes that seemed to be indolently accepting admiration instead of rendering it; and men, especially if they had a tendency to clumsiness in the nose and ankles, were inclined to think this Antinous in a pigtail a ‘confounded puppy’. I fancy that was frequently the inward interjection of the Rev. Maynard Gilfil, who was seated on the opposite side of the dining-table, though Mr. Gilfil’s legs and profile were not at all of a kind to make him peculiarly alive to the impertinence and frivolity of personal advantages. His healthy open face and robust limbs were after an excellent pattern for everyday wear, and, in the opinion of Mr. Bates, the north-country gardener, would have become regimentals ‘a fain saight’ better than the ‘peaky’ features and slight form of Captain Wybrow, notwithstanding that this young gentleman, as Sir Christopher’s nephew and destined heir, had the strongest hereditary claim on the gardener’s respect, and was undeniably ‘clean-limbed’. But alas! human longings are perversely obstinate; and to the man whose mouth is watering for a peach, it is of no use to offer the largest vegetable marrow. Mr. Gilfil was not sensitive to Mr. Bates’s opinion, whereas he was sensitive to the opinion of another person, who by no means shared Mr. Bates’s preference.

Looking at Sir Christopher, you would probably hope that he had a grown son and heir; but maybe you would wish it wasn’t the young man on his right, who bore a resemblance to the Baronet in the shape of his nose and brow, suggesting a family connection. If this young man had been less stylish, his fashionable clothing would have stood out more. But the impressive slenderness of his well-proportioned figure was so eye-catching that only a tailor could spot the details of his velvet coat; and his small white hands, with their blue veins and tapered fingers, made his lace ruffles look less appealing. The face, however—it’s hard to pinpoint why—was definitely not attractive. Nothing could be more delicate than his fair complexion, enhanced by powdered hair, or the veined eyelids that gave his hazel eyes a lazy look; nothing was more finely shaped than his transparent nostrils and short upper lip. Maybe his chin and lower jaw were too small for a flawless profile, but this flaw contributed to the delicacy and finesse that defined him, mirrored in the clear brown arch of his eyebrows and the marble smoothness of his gently sloped forehead. It’s impossible to claim this face wasn’t strikingly handsome; yet, for many men and women, it lacked charm. Women disliked eyes that seemed lazily accepting admiration instead of giving it; and men, especially those with clumsy noses and ankles, tended to view this Antinous with a pigtail as a “confounded puppy.” I imagine that was often what the Rev. Maynard Gilfil thought, seated across the dining table, even though Mr. Gilfil’s legs and profile weren’t exactly the types to make him especially sensitive to the silliness of personal advantages. His healthy, open face and sturdy limbs were great for everyday life, and, according to Mr. Bates, the northern gardener, would have suited a uniform “a sight better” than the thin features and slight build of Captain Wybrow, even though this young man, as Sir Christopher’s nephew and intended heir, had the strongest hereditary claim to the gardener’s respect and was undeniably “clean-limbed.” But alas! Human desires can be stubborn; and to a man craving a peach, it doesn’t matter if you offer him the biggest vegetable marrow. Mr. Gilfil didn’t care about Mr. Bates’s opinion, but he was sensitive to the views of someone else who definitely didn’t share Mr. Bates’s preference.

Who the other person was it would not have required a very keen observer to guess, from a certain eagerness in Mr. Gilfil’s glance as that little figure in white tripped along the lawn with the cushions. Captain Wybrow, too, was looking in the same direction, but his handsome face remained handsome—and nothing more.

Who the other person was wouldn't have taken a sharp observer to figure out, given the eagerness in Mr. Gilfil’s gaze as that small figure in white moved along the lawn with the cushions. Captain Wybrow was also looking in the same direction, but his handsome face stayed handsome—and nothing more.

‘Ah,’ said Sir Christopher, looking up from his paper, ‘there’s my lady. Ring for coffee, Anthony; we’ll go and join her, and the little monkey Tina shall give us a song.’

‘Ah,’ said Sir Christopher, looking up from his paper, ‘there’s my lady. Call for coffee, Anthony; we’ll go and join her, and the little monkey Tina will sing for us.’

The coffee presently appeared, brought not as usual by the footman, in scarlet and drab, but by the old butler, in threadbare but well-brushed black, who, as he was placing it on the table, said—‘If you please, Sir Christopher, there’s the widow Hartopp a-crying i’ the still room, and begs leave to see your honour.’

The coffee was served now, not by the usual footman in red and gray, but by the old butler in his worn but neatly brushed black suit. As he set it on the table, he said, "If you don't mind, Sir Christopher, the widow Hartopp is crying in the still room and would like to see you."

‘I have given Markham full orders about the widow Hartopp,’ said Sir Christopher, in a sharp decided tone. ‘I have nothing to say to her.’

‘I have given Markham clear instructions about the widow Hartopp,’ said Sir Christopher, in a sharp, definite tone. ‘I have nothing to discuss with her.’

‘Your honour,’ pleaded the butler, rubbing his hands, and putting on an additional coating of humility, ‘the poor woman’s dreadful overcome, and says she can’t sleep a wink this blessed night without seeing your honour, and she begs you to pardon the great freedom she’s took to come at this time. She cries fit to break her heart.’

‘Your honor,’ pleaded the butler, rubbing his hands and adding an extra layer of humility, ‘the poor woman is completely distraught and says she can’t sleep a wink tonight without seeing you, and she begs you to forgive her for taking the liberty to come at this hour. She’s crying her eyes out.’

‘Ay, ay; water pays no tax. Well, show her into the library.’

‘Yeah, yeah; water doesn’t pay taxes. Okay, show her into the library.’

Coffee despatched, the two young men walked out through the open window, and joined the ladies on the lawn, while Sir Christopher made his way to the library, solemnly followed by Rupert, his pet bloodhound, who, in his habitual place at the Baronet’s right hand, behaved with great urbanity during dinner; but when the cloth was drawn, invariably disappeared under the table, apparently regarding the claret-jug as a mere human weakness, which he winked at, but refused to sanction.

Coffee delivered, the two young men stepped out through the open window and joined the ladies on the lawn, while Sir Christopher headed to the library, solemnly followed by Rupert, his beloved bloodhound, who, in his usual spot at the Baronet’s right hand, acted very politely during dinner; but once the meal was over, he would always disappear under the table, seemingly viewing the claret jug as a simple human indulgence, which he acknowledged but chose not to endorse.

The library lay but three steps from the dining-room, on the other side of a cloistered and matted passage. The oriel window was overshadowed by the great beech, and this, with the flat heavily-carved ceiling and the dark hue of the old books that lined the walls, made the room look sombre, especially on entering it from the dining-room, with its aerial curves and cream-coloured fretwork touched with gold. As Sir Christopher opened the door, a jet of brighter light fell on a woman in a widow’s dress, who stood in the middle of the room, and made the deepest of curtsies as he entered. She was a buxom woman approaching forty, her eyes red with the tears which had evidently been absorbed by the handkerchief gathered into a damp ball in her right hand.

The library was only three steps away from the dining room, on the other side of a cloistered and matted passage. The oriel window was shaded by a large beech tree, and this, along with the flat, intricately carved ceiling and the dark color of the old books lining the walls, made the room feel gloomy, especially when entering from the dining room, which featured airy curves and cream-colored trim highlighted with gold. As Sir Christopher opened the door, a beam of brighter light fell on a woman in a widow’s dress, who stood in the center of the room and performed a deep curtsy as he entered. She was a plump woman nearing forty, with eyes swollen from tears, which had clearly soaked the handkerchief she held in a damp ball in her right hand.

‘Now, Mrs. Hartopp,’ said Sir Christopher, taking out his gold snuff-box and tapping the lid, ‘what have you to say to me? Markham has delivered you a notice to quit, I suppose?’

‘Now, Mrs. Hartopp,’ said Sir Christopher, pulling out his gold snuff box and tapping the lid, ‘what do you want to tell me? I assume Markham has given you a notice to leave?’

‘O yis, your honour, an’ that’s the reason why I’ve come. I hope your honour ’ll think better on it, an’ not turn me an’ my poor children out o’ the farm, where my husband al’ys paid his rent as reglar as the day come.’

‘Oh yes, your honor, and that’s why I’m here. I hope your honor will reconsider and not kick me and my poor children off the farm, where my husband always paid his rent on time.’

‘Nonsense! I should like to know what good it will do you and your children to stay on a farm and lose every farthing your husband has left you, instead of selling your stock and going into some little place where you can keep your money together. It is very well known to every tenant of mine that I never allow widows to stay on their husbands’ farms.’

‘Nonsense! I want to know what good it does you and your children to stay on a farm and lose every penny your husband left you, instead of selling your livestock and moving to a small place where you can save your money. It's well known to every tenant of mine that I never allow widows to remain on their husbands’ farms.’

‘O, Sir Christifer, if you would consider—when I’ve sold the hay, an’ corn, an’ all the live things, an’ paid the debts, an’ put the money out to use, I shall have hardly enough to keep our souls an’ bodies together. An’ how can I rear my boys and put ’em ’prentice? They must go for dey-labourers, an’ their father a man wi’ as good belongings as any on your honour’s estate, an’ niver threshed his wheat afore it was well i’ the rick, nor sold the straw off his farm, nor nothin’. Ask all the farmers round if there was a stiddier, soberer man than my husband as attended Ripstone market. An’ he says, “Bessie,” says he—them was his last words—“you’ll mek a shift to manage the farm, if Sir Christifer ’ull let you stay on.”’

‘Oh, Sir Christopher, if you would just consider—after I sell the hay, and corn, and all the livestock, and pay off the debts, and invest the money, I’ll hardly have enough to keep us alive. How can I raise my boys and get them apprenticed? They’ll have to work as day laborers, and their father was a man with just as good a standing as anyone on your estate, and he never threshed his wheat until it was well in the rick, nor sold the straw off his farm, or anything. Ask all the farmers around if there was a steadier, more reliable man than my husband who went to Ripstone market. And he says, “Bessie,” that was his last words, “you’ll manage to run the farm if Sir Christopher will let you stay on.”’

‘Pooh, pooh!’ said Sir Christopher, Mrs. Hartopp’s sobs having interrupted her pleadings, ‘now listen to me, and try to understand a little common sense. You are about as able to manage the farm as your best milch cow. You’ll be obliged to have some managing man, who will either cheat you out of your money or wheedle you into marrying him.’

‘Pooh, pooh!’ said Sir Christopher, cutting off Mrs. Hartopp’s sobs, ‘now listen to me, and try to grasp some common sense. You’re just as capable of running the farm as your best milk cow. You’re going to need a manager, who will either scam you out of your money or charm you into marrying him.’

‘O, your honour, I was never that sort o’ woman, an’ nobody has known it on me.’

‘Oh, your honor, I was never that kind of woman, and no one has ever known it about me.’

‘Very likely not, because you were never a widow before. A woman’s always silly enough, but she’s never quite as great a fool as she can be until she puts on a widow’s cap. Now, just ask yourself how much the better you will be for staying on your farm at the end of four years, when you’ve got through your money, and let your farm run down, and are in arrears for half your rent; or, perhaps, have got some great hulky fellow for a husband, who swears at you and kicks your children.’

‘Probably not, because you’ve never been a widow before. A woman can be pretty foolish, but she’s never as much of a fool as when she wears a widow’s cap. Now, think about how much better off you’ll be after four years if you stay on your farm, having run out of money, let your farm go to waste, and are behind on half your rent; or maybe you’ll end up with some big guy for a husband who yells at you and kicks your kids.’

‘Indeed, Sir Christifer, I know a deal o’ farmin,’ an’ was brought up i’ the thick on it, as you may say. An’ there was my husband’s great-aunt managed a farm for twenty year, an’ left legacies to all her nephys an’ nieces, an’ even to my husband, as was then a babe unborn.’

‘Indeed, Sir Christopher, I know a lot about farming,’ and I was raised in the heart of it, as you might say. And my husband’s great-aunt managed a farm for twenty years, and left inheritances to all her nephews and nieces, and even to my husband, who was then an unborn baby.’

‘Psha! a woman six feet high, with a squint and sharp elbows, I daresay—a man in petticoats. Not a rosy-cheeked widow like you, Mrs. Hartopp.’

‘Psha! a woman six feet tall, with a squint and sharp elbows, I’d say—a man in a dress. Not a rosy-cheeked widow like you, Mrs. Hartopp.’

‘Indeed, your honour, I never heard of her squintin’, an’ they said as she might ha’ been married o’er and o’er again, to people as had no call to hanker after her money.’

‘Honestly, your honor, I never heard of her squinting, and they said she might have been married over and over again to people who had no reason to be after her money.’

‘Ay, ay, that’s what you all think. Every man that looks at you wants to marry you, and would like you the better the more children you have and the less money. But it is useless to talk and cry. I have good reasons for my plans, and never alter them. What you have to do is to take the best of your stock, and to look out for some little place to go to, when you leave The Hollows. Now, go back to Mrs. Bellamy’s room, and ask her to give you a dish of tea.’

‘Yeah, yeah, that’s what you all think. Every guy who looks at you wants to marry you, and they’d like you even more the more kids you have and the less money you have. But it’s pointless to talk and cry about it. I have solid reasons for my plans, and I never change them. What you need to do is pick the best of your lot and find a small place to go when you leave The Hollows. Now, go back to Mrs. Bellamy’s room and ask her for a cup of tea.’

Mrs. Hartopp, understanding from Sir Christopher’s tone that he was not to be shaken, curtsied low and left the library, while the Baronet, seating himself at his desk in the oriel window, wrote the following letter:

Mrs. Hartopp, realizing from Sir Christopher’s tone that he wouldn’t be persuaded, curtsied deeply and left the library, while the Baronet, settling at his desk by the oriel window, wrote the following letter:

Mr. Markham,—Take no steps about letting Crowsfoot Cottage, as I intend to put in the widow Hartopp when she leaves her farm; and if you will be here at eleven on Saturday morning, I will ride round with you, and settle about making some repairs, and see about adding a bit of land to the take, as she will want to keep a cow and some pigs.—Yours faithfully,

Mr. Markham,—Please don’t do anything about renting out Crowsfoot Cottage, as I plan to move in Widow Hartopp when she leaves her farm. If you could be here at eleven on Saturday morning, I will ride around with you to discuss making some repairs and look into adding a bit of land to the lease, since she’s going to need space for a cow and some pigs.—Yours faithfully,

Christopher Cheverel.’

Christopher Cheverel.’

After ringing the bell and ordering this letter to be sent, Sir Christopher walked out to join the party on the lawn. But finding the cushions deserted, he walked on to the eastern front of the building, where, by the side of the grand entrance, was the large bow-window of the saloon, opening on to the gravel-sweep, and looking towards a long vista of undulating turf, bordered by tall trees, which, seeming to unite itself with the green of the meadows and a grassy road through a plantation, only terminated with the Gothic arch of a gateway in the far distance. The bow-window was open, and Sir Christopher, stepping in, found the group he sought, examining the progress of the unfinished ceiling. It was in the same style of florid pointed Gothic as the dining-room, but more elaborate in its tracery, which was like petrified lace-work picked out with delicate and varied colouring. About a fourth of its still remained uncoloured, and under this part were scaffolding, ladders, and tools; otherwise the spacious saloon was empty of furniture, and seemed to be a grand Gothic canopy for the group of five human figures standing in the centre.

After ringing the bell and having the letter sent, Sir Christopher walked out to join the party on the lawn. But finding the cushions empty, he continued to the east side of the building, where, by the grand entrance, was the large bow window of the salon, opening onto the gravel driveway and looking out over a long stretch of rolling grass bordered by tall trees, which seemed to blend with the green of the meadows and a grassy path through a grove, only ending at the Gothic arch of a gateway in the distance. The bow window was open, and when Sir Christopher stepped inside, he found the group he was looking for, checking on the progress of the unfinished ceiling. It was done in the same ornate pointed Gothic style as the dining room, but with more intricate tracery that resembled petrified lace decorated with delicate and varied colors. About a quarter of it still remained unpainted, and beneath this section were scaffolding, ladders, and tools; otherwise, the spacious salon was empty of furniture, appearing as a grand Gothic canopy for the group of five people standing in the center.

‘Francesco has been getting on a little better the last day or two,’ said Sir Christopher, as he joined the party: ‘he’s a sad lazy dog, and I fancy he has a knack of sleeping as he stands, with his brushes in his hands. But I must spur him on, or we may not have the scaffolding cleared away before the bride comes, if you show dexterous generalship in your wooing, eh, Anthony? and take your Magdeburg quickly.’

‘Francesco has been doing a bit better the last day or two,’ Sir Christopher said as he joined the group. ‘He’s a pretty lazy guy, and I think he has a talent for dozing off while standing with his brushes in hand. But I need to push him, or we might not have the scaffolding cleared away before the bride arrives, if you handle your courting skillfully, huh, Anthony? and take your Magdeburg swiftly.’

‘Ah, sir, a siege is known to be one of the most tedious operations in war,’ said Captain Wybrow, with an easy smile.

‘Ah, sir, a siege is known to be one of the most boring operations in war,’ said Captain Wybrow, with a casual smile.

‘Not when there’s a traitor within the walls in the shape of a soft heart. And that there will be, if Beatrice has her mother’s tenderness as well as her mother’s beauty.’

‘Not when there’s a traitor inside the walls in the form of a soft heart. And there will be, if Beatrice has her mother’s kindness along with her mother’s beauty.’

‘What do you think, Sir Christopher,’ said Lady Cheverel, who seemed to wince a little under her husband’s reminiscences, ‘of hanging Guercino’s “Sibyl” over that door when we put up the pictures? It is rather lost in my sitting-room.’

‘What do you think, Sir Christopher,’ said Lady Cheverel, who seemed to flinch a bit at her husband’s memories, ‘about hanging Guercino’s “Sibyl” over that door when we put up the pictures? It really gets a bit lost in my sitting room.’

‘Very good, my love,’ answered Sir Christopher, in a tone of punctiliously polite affection; ‘if you like to part with the ornament from your own room, it will show admirably here. Our portraits, by Sir Joshua, will hang opposite the window, and the “Transfiguration” at that end. You see, Anthony, I am leaving no good places on the walls for you and your wife. We shall turn you with your faces to the wall in the gallery, and you may take your revenge on us by-and-by.’

‘Very good, my love,’ replied Sir Christopher, in a tone of carefully polite affection; ‘if you want to give up the ornament from your own room, it will look great here. Our portraits, by Sir Joshua, will hang opposite the window, and the “Transfiguration” at that end. You see, Anthony, I’m not leaving any good spots on the walls for you and your wife. We’ll position you with your backs to the wall in the gallery, and you can get your revenge on us later.’

While this conversation was going on, Mr. Gilfil turned to Caterina and said,—‘I like the view from this window better than any other in the house.’

While this conversation was happening, Mr. Gilfil turned to Caterina and said, “I like the view from this window more than any other in the house.”

She made no answer, and he saw that her eyes were filling with tears; so he added, ‘Suppose we walk out a little; Sir Christopher and my lady seem to be occupied.’

She didn’t reply, and he noticed her eyes welling up with tears; so he added, ‘How about we take a little walk? Sir Christopher and my lady seem busy.’

Caterina complied silently, and they turned down one of the gravel walks that led, after many windings under tall trees and among grassy openings, to a large enclosed flower-garden. Their walk was perfectly silent, for Maynard Gilfil knew that Caterina’s thoughts were not with him, and she had been long used to make him endure the weight of those moods which she carefully hid from others. They reached the flower-garden, and turned mechanically in at the gate that opened, through a high thick hedge, on an expanse of brilliant colour, which, after the green shades they had passed through, startled the eye like flames. The effect was assisted by an undulation of the ground, which gradually descended from the entrance-gate, and then rose again towards the opposite end, crowned by an orangery. The flowers were glowing with their evening splendours; verbenas and heliotropes were sending up their finest incense. It seemed a gala where all was happiness and brilliancy, and misery could find no sympathy. This was the effect it had on Caterina. As she wound among the beds of gold and blue and pink, where the flowers seemed to be looking at her with wondering elf-like eyes, knowing nothing of sorrow, the feeling of isolation in her wretchedness overcame her, and the tears, which had been before trickling slowly down her pale cheeks, now gushed forth accompanied with sobs. And yet there was a loving human being close beside her, whose heart was aching for hers, who was possessed by the feeling that she was miserable, and that he was helpless to soothe her. But she was too much irritated by the idea that his wishes were different from hers, that he rather regretted the folly of her hopes than the probability of their disappointment, to take any comfort in his sympathy. Caterina, like the rest of us, turned away from sympathy which she suspected to be mingled with criticism, as the child turns away from the sweetmeat in which it suspects imperceptible medicine.

Caterina quietly went along with it, and they walked down one of the gravel paths that twisted under tall trees and through grassy openings to a large, enclosed flower garden. Their stroll was completely silent, as Maynard Gilfil realized that Caterina’s thoughts weren’t with him, and she had long gotten used to making him bear the burden of moods she carefully kept hidden from others. They arrived at the flower garden and mechanically went through the gate that opened, through a tall, thick hedge, onto a vibrant display of colors that, after the green shades they had just traversed, shocked the eyes like flames. The effect was enhanced by the rolling terrain, which gradually sloped down from the entrance gate and then rose again towards the far end, topped by a greenhouse. The flowers were shining with their evening glow; verbenas and heliotropes were releasing their best fragrance. It felt like a celebration where everything was joyful and bright, and sadness could find no place. This was how it affected Caterina. As she meandered through the beds of gold, blue, and pink, where the flowers seemed to gaze at her with curious, fairy-like eyes, blissfully unaware of sorrow, the feeling of loneliness in her misery overwhelmed her, and the tears that had previously been trickling slowly down her pale cheeks now burst forth along with sobs. Yet there was a caring person right beside her, whose heart ached for hers and who felt that she was in pain and that he was powerless to help her. But she was too irked by the thought that his wishes were different from hers—that he regretted her foolish hopes more than the likelihood of their disappointment—to find any comfort in his sympathy. Caterina, like the rest of us, turned away from sympathy she suspected carried a hint of criticism, just as a child turns away from a sweet treat that it suspects might contain hidden medicine.

‘Dear Caterina, I think I hear voices,’ said Mr. Gilfil; ‘they may be coming this way.’

‘Dear Caterina, I think I hear voices,’ said Mr. Gilfil; ‘they might be coming this way.’

She checked herself like one accustomed to conceal her emotions, and ran rapidly to the other end of the garden, where she seemed occupied in selecting a rose. Presently Lady Cheverel entered, leaning on the arm of Captain Wybrow, and followed by Sir Christopher. The party stopped to admire the tiers of geraniums near the gate; and in the mean time Caterina tripped back with a moss rose-bud in her hand, and, going up to Sir Christopher, said—‘There, Padroncello—there is a nice rose for your button-hole.’

She composed herself like someone who was used to hiding her feelings and quickly ran to the other side of the garden, where she appeared to be picking a rose. Soon, Lady Cheverel came in, leaning on Captain Wybrow’s arm and followed by Sir Christopher. The group paused to admire the rows of geraniums near the gate; meanwhile, Caterina returned with a moss rose bud in her hand and approached Sir Christopher, saying, “There, Padroncello—here’s a lovely rose for your buttonhole.”

‘Ah, you black-eyed monkey,’ he said, fondly stroking her cheek; ‘so you have been running off with Maynard, either to torment or coax him an inch or two deeper into love. Come, come, I want you to sing us “Ho perduto” before we sit down to picquet. Anthony goes to-morrow, you know; you must warble him into the right sentimental lover’s mood, that he may acquit himself well at Bath.’ He put her little arm under his, and calling to Lady Cheverel, ‘Come, Henrietta!’ led the way towards the house.

‘Ah, you little black-eyed monkey,’ he said, affectionately stroking her cheek; ‘so you’ve been running off with Maynard, either to tease or charm him a bit deeper into love. Come on, I want you to sing us “Ho perduto” before we sit down to play picquet. Anthony is leaving tomorrow, you know; you need to get him into the right sentimental mood so he can do well at Bath.’ He slipped her little arm under his and, calling to Lady Cheverel, ‘Come on, Henrietta!’ led the way towards the house.

The party entered the drawing-room, which, with its oriel window, corresponded to the library in the other wing, and had also a flat ceiling heavy with carving and blazonry; but the window being unshaded, and the walls hung with full-length portraits of knights and dames in scarlet, white, and gold, it had not the sombre effect of the library. Here hung the portrait of Sir Anthony Cheverel, who in the reign of Charles II. was the renovator of the family splendour, which had suffered some declension from the early brilliancy of that Chevreuil who came over with the Conqueror. A very imposing personage was this Sir Anthony, standing with one arm akimbo, and one fine leg and foot advanced, evidently with a view to the gratification of his contemporaries and posterity. You might have taken off his splendid peruke, and his scarlet cloak, which was thrown backward from his shoulders, without annihilating the dignity of his appearance. And he had known how to choose a wife, too, for his lady, hanging opposite to him, with her sunny brown hair drawn away in bands from her mild grave face, and falling in two large rich curls on her snowy gently-sloping neck, which shamed the harsher hue and outline of her white satin robe, was a fit mother of ‘large-acred’ heirs.

The party walked into the living room, which had an oriel window that matched the library on the other side and a flat ceiling filled with detailed carvings and decorations. However, since the window wasn’t covered and the walls were adorned with full-length portraits of knights and ladies in red, white, and gold, it didn’t feel as dark as the library. Here hung the portrait of Sir Anthony Cheverel, who during the reign of Charles II revitalized the family’s glory, which had faded a bit since the early brilliance of that Chevreuil who came over with the Conqueror. Sir Anthony was quite the impressive figure, standing with one arm on his hip and one leg forward, clearly aiming to impress both his peers and future generations. You could have removed his grand wig and his red cloak, draped over his shoulders, without taking away from his dignified presence. He also chose a remarkable wife; his lady, opposite him, had sunny brown hair pulled back in bands from her serene, serious face, cascading into two large, rich curls on her softly sloping neck, making her white satin gown look less elegant in comparison. She was a perfect mother for ‘large-acred’ heirs.

In this room tea was served; and here, every evening, as regularly as the great clock in the courtyard with deliberate bass tones struck nine, Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel sat down to picquet until half-past ten, when Mr. Gilfil read prayers to the assembled household in the chapel.

In this room, tea was served; and here, every evening, just like the big clock in the courtyard chimed nine with its deep tones, Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel would sit down to play picquet until half-past ten, when Mr. Gilfil read prayers to the gathered household in the chapel.

But now it was not near nine, and Caterina must sit down to the harpsichord and sing Sir Christopher’s favourite airs from Gluck’s ‘Orfeo’, an opera which, for the happiness of that generation, was then to be heard on the London stage. It happened this evening that the sentiment of these airs, ‘Che faro senza Eurydice?’ and ‘Ho perduto il bel sembiante’, in both of which the singer pours out his yearning after his lost love, came very close to Caterina’s own feeling. But her emotion, instead of being a hindrance to her singing, gave her additional power. Her singing was what she could do best; it was her one point of superiority, in which it was probable she would excel the highborn beauty whom Anthony was to woo; and her love, her jealousy, her pride, her rebellion against her destiny, made one stream of passion which welled forth in the deep rich tones of her voice. She had a rare contralto, which Lady Cheverel, who had high musical taste, had been careful to preserve her from straining.

But now it was not quite nine, and Caterina had to sit down at the harpsichord and sing Sir Christopher’s favorite songs from Gluck’s ‘Orfeo,’ an opera that, for the joy of that generation, was then being performed on the London stage. This evening, the emotions of these songs, ‘Che faro senza Eurydice?’ and ‘Ho perduto il bel sembiante,’ in which the singer expresses his longing for his lost love, resonated deeply with Caterina’s own feelings. However, her emotion didn’t hinder her singing; it actually gave her more power. Singing was her greatest talent; it was her one area of superiority, where she was likely to outshine the noble beauty that Anthony was set to pursue, and her love, jealousy, pride, and rebellion against her fate created a flow of passion that burst forth in the rich, deep tones of her voice. She had a rare contralto, which Lady Cheverel, who had a refined musical taste, had ensured she wouldn’t strain.

‘Excellent, Caterina,’ said Lady Cheverel, as there was a pause after the wonderful linked sweetness of ‘Che faro’. ‘I never heard you sing that so well. Once more!’

‘Excellent, Caterina,’ said Lady Cheverel, as there was a pause after the wonderful linked sweetness of ‘Che faro’. ‘I’ve never heard you sing it so well. Do it again!’

It was repeated; and then came, ‘Ho perduto’, which Sir Christopher encored, in spite of the clock, just striking nine. When the last note was dying out he said—‘There’s a clever black-eyed monkey. Now bring out the table for picquet.’

It was repeated, and then came, ‘Ho perduto’, which Sir Christopher requested again, even though the clock just struck nine. As the last note faded away, he said, ‘There’s a clever black-eyed monkey. Now bring out the table for picquet.’

Caterina drew out the table and placed the cards; then, with her rapid fairy suddenness of motion, threw herself on her knees, and clasped Sir Christopher’s knee. He bent down, stroked her cheek and smiled.

Caterina pulled out the table and set down the cards; then, with her quick, almost magical movements, she dropped to her knees and grabbed Sir Christopher’s knee. He leaned down, caressed her cheek, and smiled.

‘Caterina, that is foolish,’ said Lady Cheverel. ‘I wish you would leave off those stage-players’ antics.’

‘Caterina, that's ridiculous,’ said Lady Cheverel. ‘I wish you would stop those theater performers’ antics.’

She jumped up, arranged the music on the harpsichord, and then, seeing the Baronet and his lady seated at picquet, quietly glided out of the room.

She got up, set the music on the harpsichord, and then, noticing the Baronet and his lady playing cards, quietly slipped out of the room.

Captain Wybrow had been leaning near the harpsichord during the singing, and the chaplain had thrown himself on a sofa at the end of the room. They both now took up a book. Mr. Gilfil chose the last number of the ‘Gentleman’s Magazine’; Captain Wybrow, stretched on an ottoman near the door, opened ‘Faublas’; and there was perfect silence in the room which, ten minutes before, was vibrating to the passionate tones of Caterina.

Captain Wybrow had been leaning by the harpsichord while they sang, and the chaplain had flopped onto a sofa at the end of the room. They both picked up a book now. Mr. Gilfil grabbed the latest issue of the 'Gentleman's Magazine'; Captain Wybrow, stretched out on an ottoman near the door, opened 'Faublas'; and the room fell completely silent, which was a stark contrast to the passionate sounds of Caterina just ten minutes earlier.

She had made her way along the cloistered passages, now lighted here and there by a small oil-lamp, to the grand-staircase, which led directly to a gallery running along the whole eastern side of the building, where it was her habit to walk when she wished to be alone. The bright moonlight was streaming through the windows, throwing into strange light and shadow the heterogeneous objects that lined the long walls: Greek statues and busts of Roman emperors; low cabinets filled with curiosities, natural and antiquarian; tropical birds and huge horns of beasts; Hindoo gods and strange shells; swords and daggers, and bits of chain-armour; Roman lamps and tiny models of Greek temples; and, above all these, queer old family portraits—of little boys and girls, once the hope of the Cheverels, with close-shaven heads imprisoned in stiff ruffs—of faded, pink-faced ladies, with rudimentary features and highly-developed head-dresses—of gallant gentlemen, with high hips, high shoulders, and red pointed beards.

She made her way through the dim hallways, now lit here and there by a small oil lamp, to the grand staircase, which led directly to a gallery that stretched along the entire eastern side of the building. This was where she usually walked when she wanted to be alone. The bright moonlight streamed through the windows, casting strange light and shadow on the diverse objects that filled the long walls: Greek statues and busts of Roman emperors; low cabinets filled with curiosities, both natural and antique; tropical birds and large animal horns; Hindu gods and odd shells; swords and daggers, and bits of chain mail; Roman lamps and tiny models of Greek temples; and, above all these, quirky old family portraits—of little boys and girls, once the pride of the Cheverels, with shaved heads enclosed in stiff ruffs—of faded, pink-faced ladies with basic features and elaborate headpieces—of dashing gentlemen with high hips, broad shoulders, and red pointed beards.

Here, on rainy days, Sir Christopher and his lady took their promenade, and here billiards were played; but, in the evening, it was forsaken by all except Caterina—and, sometimes, one other person.

Here, on rainy days, Sir Christopher and his lady would take their walk, and billiards were played here; but in the evening, it was left empty by everyone except Caterina—and, occasionally, one other person.

She paced up and down in the moonlight, her pale face and thin white-robed form making her look like the ghost of some former Lady Cheverel come to revisit the glimpses of the moon.

She walked back and forth in the moonlight, her pale face and thin figure in a white robe making her look like the ghost of some past Lady Cheverel returning to catch a glimpse of the moon.

By-and-by she paused opposite the broad window above the portico, and looked out on the long vista of turf and trees now stretching chill and saddened in the moonlight.

By and by, she stopped in front of the wide window above the porch and looked out at the long stretch of grass and trees now appearing cold and somber in the moonlight.

Suddenly a breath of warmth and roses seemed to float towards her, and an arm stole gently round her waist, while a soft hand took up her tiny fingers. Caterina felt an electric thrill, and was motionless for one long moment; then she pushed away the arm and hand, and, turning round, lifted up to the face that hung over her eyes full of tenderness and reproach. The fawn-like unconsciousness was gone, and in that one look were the ground tones of poor little Caterina’s nature—intense love and fierce jealousy.

Suddenly, a waft of warmth and the scent of roses seemed to come toward her, and an arm gently wrapped around her waist while a soft hand held her tiny fingers. Caterina felt a jolt of electricity and was still for a long moment; then she pushed the arm and hand away and turned around, raising her gaze to the face that hovered above her, filled with tenderness and reproach. The naive innocence was gone, and in that single look were the core elements of poor little Caterina’s nature—deep love and intense jealousy.

‘Why do you push me away, Tina?’ said Captain Wybrow in a half-whisper; ‘are you angry with me for what a hard fate puts upon me? Would you have me cross my uncle—who has done so much for us both—in his dearest wish? You know I have duties—we both have duties—before which feeling must be sacrificed.’

‘Why are you pushing me away, Tina?’ Captain Wybrow said softly; ‘are you upset with me for what this difficult fate has thrown at me? Would you want me to go against my uncle—who has done so much for both of us—in his most cherished wish? You know I have responsibilities—we both have responsibilities—where feelings must take a backseat.’

‘Yes, yes,’ said Caterina, stamping her foot, and turning away her head; ‘don’t tell me what I know already.’

‘Yes, yes,’ Caterina said, stamping her foot and turning her head away; ‘don’t tell me what I already know.’

There was a voice speaking in Caterina’s mind to which she had never yet given vent. That voice said continually, ‘Why did he make me love him—why did he let me know he loved me, if he knew all the while that he couldn’t brave everything for my sake?’ Then love answered, ‘He was led on by the feeling of the moment, as you have been, Caterina; and now you ought to help him to do what is right.’ Then the voice rejoined, ‘It was a slight matter to him. He doesn’t much mind giving you up. He will soon love that beautiful woman, and forget a poor little pale thing like you.’

There was a voice in Caterina’s mind that she had never expressed. That voice kept saying, ‘Why did he make me love him—why did he let me know he loved me if he always knew he couldn’t face everything for my sake?’ Then love responded, ‘He was caught up in the moment, just like you, Caterina; now you should help him do what's right.’ Then the voice replied, ‘It was nothing to him. He doesn’t really care about giving you up. He’ll soon love that beautiful woman and forget all about someone like you.’

Thus love, anger, and jealousy were struggling in that young soul.

Thus love, anger, and jealousy were fighting within that young soul.

‘Besides, Tina,’ continued Captain Wybrow in still gentler tones, ‘I shall not succeed. Miss Assher very likely prefers some one else; and you know I have the best will in the world to fail. I shall come back a hapless bachelor—perhaps to find you already married to the good-looking chaplain, who is over head and ears in love with you. Poor Sir Christopher has made up his mind that you’re to have Gilfil.’

“Besides, Tina,” Captain Wybrow continued in even softer tones, “I probably won’t succeed. Miss Assher likely prefers someone else; and you know I really don’t want to succeed. I’ll come back a hopeless bachelor—maybe to find you already married to that attractive chaplain, who’s completely in love with you. Poor Sir Christopher has decided that you’re meant to be with Gilfil.”

‘Why will you speak so? You speak from your own want of feeling. Go away from me.’

‘Why are you talking like that? You're just expressing your own lack of emotion. Leave me alone.’

‘Don’t let us part in anger, Tina. All this may pass away. It’s as likely as not that I may never marry any one at all. These palpitations may carry me off, and you may have the satisfaction of knowing that I shall never be anybody’s bridegroom. Who knows what may happen? I may be my own master before I get into the bonds of holy matrimony, and be able to choose my little singing-bird. Why should we distress ourselves before the time?’

‘Don’t let us end things on a bad note, Tina. All this might blow over. There’s a good chance I might never marry anyone at all. These heart palpitations could take me out, and you could take comfort in knowing I won’t ever be anyone’s groom. Who knows what might come up? I might be able to call the shots before I enter into holy matrimony and choose my little songbird. Why should we upset ourselves ahead of time?’

‘It is easy to talk so when you are not feeling,’ said Caterina, the tears flowing fast. ‘It is bad to bear now, whatever may come after. But you don’t care about my misery.’

‘It’s easy to say that when you’re not the one feeling it,’ Caterina said, tears streaming down her face. ‘It’s hard to endure this right now, no matter what might come later. But you don’t care about what I'm going through.’

‘Don’t I, Tina?’ said Anthony in his tenderest tones, again stealing his arm round her waist, and drawing her towards him. Poor Tina was the slave of this voice and touch. Grief and resentment, retrospect and foreboding, vanished—all life before and after melted away in the bliss of that moment, as Anthony pressed his lips to hers.

‘Don’t I, Tina?’ Anthony said in his sweetest voice, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer. Poor Tina was helpless against his voice and touch. Grief and anger, memories and worries, faded away—all that mattered was that moment, as Anthony kissed her.

Captain Wybrow thought, ‘Poor little Tina! it would make her very happy to have me. But she is a mad little thing.’

Captain Wybrow thought, ‘Poor little Tina! It would really make her happy to have me. But she’s such a crazy little thing.’

At that moment a loud bell startled Caterina from her trance of bliss. It was the summons to prayers in the chapel, and she hastened away, leaving Captain Wybrow to follow slowly.

At that moment, a loud bell jolted Caterina out of her blissful trance. It was the call to prayers in the chapel, and she hurried away, leaving Captain Wybrow to follow at a leisurely pace.

It was a pretty sight, that family assembled to worship in the little chapel, where a couple of wax-candles threw a mild faint light on the figures kneeling there. In the desk was Mr. Gilfil, with his face a shade graver than usual. On his right hand, kneeling on their red velvet cushions, were the master and mistress of the household, in their elderly dignified beauty. On his left, the youthful grace of Anthony and Caterina, in all the striking contrast of their colouring—he, with his exquisite outline and rounded fairness, like an Olympian god; she, dark and tiny, like a gypsy changeling. Then there were the domestics kneeling on red-covered forms,—the women headed by Mrs. Bellamy, the natty little old housekeeper, in snowy cap and apron, and Mrs. Sharp, my lady’s maid, of somewhat vinegar aspect and flaunting attire; the men by Mr. Bellamy the butler, and Mr. Warren, Sir Christopher’s venerable valet.

It was a beautiful sight, that family gathered to worship in the small chapel, where a couple of wax candles cast a soft light on the figures kneeling there. In the pulpit was Mr. Gilfil, with his expression a bit more serious than usual. To his right, kneeling on their red velvet cushions, were the master and mistress of the household, embodying their dignified elder beauty. To his left, the youthful elegance of Anthony and Caterina stood out in sharp contrast—he, with his perfect features and fair complexion, like an Olympian god; she, dark and petite, like a gypsy changeling. Then there were the staff kneeling on red-covered benches—the women led by Mrs. Bellamy, the neat little old housekeeper in her white cap and apron, and Mrs. Sharp, my lady’s maid, who had a rather sour look and flashy attire; the men led by Mr. Bellamy the butler, and Mr. Warren, Sir Christopher’s esteemed valet.

A few collects from the Evening Service was what Mr. Gilfil habitually read, ending with the simple petition, ‘Lighten our darkness.’

A few prayers from the Evening Service were what Mr. Gilfil usually read, finishing with the simple request, ‘Lighten our darkness.’

And then they all rose, the servants turning to curtsy and bow as they went out. The family returned to the drawing-room, said good-night to each other, and dispersed—all to speedy slumber except two. Caterina only cried herself to sleep after the clock had struck twelve. Mr. Gilfil lay awake still longer, thinking that very likely Caterina was crying.

And then they all got up, the servants curtsying and bowing as they left. The family went back to the living room, said good-night to one another, and broke apart—all quickly heading off to sleep except for two. Caterina only cried herself to sleep after the clock struck twelve. Mr. Gilfil stayed awake even longer, thinking that it was very likely Caterina was still crying.

Captain Wybrow, having dismissed his valet at eleven, was soon in a soft slumber, his face looking like a fine cameo in high relief on the slightly indented pillow.

Captain Wybrow, having sent his valet away at eleven, quickly fell into a deep sleep, his face resembling a beautiful cameo in high relief on the slightly indented pillow.

Chapter 3

The last chapter has given the discerning reader sufficient insight into the state of things at Cheverel Manor in the summer of 1788. In that summer, we know, the great nation of France was agitated by conflicting thoughts and passions, which were but the beginning of sorrows. And in our Caterina’s little breast, too, there were terrible struggles. The poor bird was beginning to flutter and vainly dash its soft breast against the hard iron bars of the inevitable, and we see too plainly the danger, if that anguish should go on heightening instead of being allayed, that the palpitating heart may be fatally bruised.

The last chapter has given the attentive reader a clear understanding of the situation at Cheverel Manor in the summer of 1788. During that summer, as we know, the great nation of France was stirred by conflicting thoughts and emotions, which were just the start of much trouble. And in our Caterina’s little heart, too, there were intense struggles. The poor bird was starting to flutter and desperately bang its soft body against the hard iron bars of the inevitable, and we can see too clearly the danger; if that suffering continues to escalate instead of easing, the beating heart could be badly injured.

Meanwhile, if, as I hope, you feel some interest in Caterina and her friends at Cheverel Manor, you are perhaps asking, How came she to be there? How was it that this tiny, dark-eyed child of the south, whose face was immediately suggestive of olive-covered hills and taper-lit shrines, came to have her home in that stately English manor-house, by the side of the blonde matron, Lady Cheverel—almost as if a humming-bird were found perched on one of the elm-trees in the park, by the side of her ladyship’s handsomest pouter-pigeon? Speaking good English, too, and joining in Protestant prayers! Surely she must have been adopted and brought over to England at a very early age. She was.

Meanwhile, if you’re interested in Caterina and her friends at Cheverel Manor, you might be wondering how she ended up there. How did this small, dark-eyed girl from the south, whose face evokes images of olive-covered hills and candle-lit shrines, come to live in that grand English manor house next to the fair-haired Lady Cheverel—almost like finding a hummingbird perched on one of the elm trees in the park alongside her ladyship’s finest pouter pigeon? Speaking good English too, and participating in Protestant prayers! She must have been adopted and brought to England at a very young age. She was.

During Sir Christopher’s last visit to Italy with his lady, fifteen years before, they resided for some time at Milan, where Sir Christopher, who was an enthusiast for Gothic architecture, and was then entertaining the project of metamorphosing his plain brick family mansion into the model of a Gothic manor-house, was bent on studying the details of that marble miracle, the Cathedral. Here Lady Cheverel, as at other Italian cities where she made any protracted stay, engaged a maestro to give her lessons in singing, for she had then not only fine musical taste, but a fine soprano voice. Those were days when very rich people used manuscript music, and many a man who resembled Jean Jacques in nothing else, resembled him in getting a livelihood ‘à copier la musique à tant la page’. Lady Cheverel having need of this service, Maestro Albani told her he would send her a poveraccio of his acquaintance, whose manuscript was the neatest and most correct he knew of. Unhappily, the poveraccio was not always in his best wits, and was sometimes rather slow in consequence; but it would be a work of Christian charity worthy of the beautiful Signora to employ poor Sarti.

During Sir Christopher’s last trip to Italy with his wife fifteen years ago, they spent some time in Milan. Sir Christopher, who was passionate about Gothic architecture and was then considering transforming his plain brick family home into a Gothic manor, was focused on studying the details of the stunning Cathedral. Lady Cheverel, as she did in other Italian cities where she stayed for a while, hired a maestro to give her singing lessons, as she not only had excellent musical taste but also a beautiful soprano voice. Back then, very wealthy people used manuscript music, and many men, who had nothing in common with Jean Jacques apart from this, earned a living “by copying music at so much a page.” Lady Cheverel needed this service, and Maestro Albani told her he would send a poveraccio he knew, whose manuscripts were the neatest and most accurate he had come across. Unfortunately, the poveraccio was not always at his best and could sometimes be a bit slow because of it; but it would be an act of kindness worthy of the lovely Signora to employ the poor Sarti.

The next morning, Mrs. Sharp, then a blooming abigail of three-and-thirty, entered her lady’s private room and said, ‘If you please, my lady, there’s the frowsiest, shabbiest man you ever saw, outside, and he’s told Mr. Warren as the singing-master sent him to see your ladyship. But I think you’ll hardly like him to come in here. Belike he’s only a beggar.’

The next morning, Mrs. Sharp, a lively woman of thirty-three, entered her lady’s private room and said, ‘If you don’t mind, my lady, there’s the scruffiest, shabbiest man you’ve ever seen outside, and he told Mr. Warren that the singing-master sent him to see you. But I think you probably won’t want him to come in here. He’s probably just a beggar.’

‘O yes, show him in immediately.’

‘Oh yes, show him in right away.’

Mrs. Sharp retired, muttering something about ‘fleas and worse’. She had the smallest possible admiration for fair Ausonia and its natives, and even her profound deference for Sir Christopher and her lady could not prevent her from expressing her amazement at the infatuation of gentlefolks in choosing to sojourn among ‘Papises, in countries where there was no getting to air a bit o’ linen, and where the people smelt o’ garlick fit to knock you down.’

Mrs. Sharp left, grumbling something about 'fleas and worse.' She had barely any respect for fair Ausonia and its people, and even her deep respect for Sir Christopher and his lady couldn't stop her from showing her disbelief at how the well-off chose to stay among 'Papists, in places where you couldn't even air out a bit of laundry, and where the people smelled of garlic strong enough to knock you out.'

However she presently reappeared, ushering in a small meagre man, sallow and dingy, with a restless wandering look in his dull eyes, and an excessive timidity about his deep reverences, which gave him the air of a man who had been long a solitary prisoner. Yet through all this squalor and wretchedness there were some traces discernible of comparative youth and former good looks. Lady Cheverel, though not very tender-hearted, still less sentimental, was essentially kind, and liked to dispense benefits like a goddess, who looks down benignly on the halt, the maimed, and the blind that approach her shrine. She was smitten with some compassion at the sight of poor Sarti, who struck her as the mere battered wreck of a vessel that might have once floated gaily enough on its outward voyage to the sound of pipes and tabors. She spoke gently as she pointed out to him the operatic selections she wished him to copy, and he seemed to sun himself in her auburn, radiant presence, so that when he made his exit with the music-books under his arm, his bow, though not less reverent, was less timid.

However she now reappeared, bringing in a small, thin man, pale and shabby, with a restless, wandering look in his dull eyes, and an excessive shyness about his deep bows, which gave him the impression of someone who had been a lonely prisoner for a long time. Yet amidst all this squalor and misery, there were signs of relative youth and former good looks. Lady Cheverel, though not very compassionate and even less sentimental, was fundamentally kind and enjoyed offering help like a goddess who looks down kindly on the lame, the injured, and the blind who approach her altar. She felt a pang of sympathy at the sight of poor Sarti, who seemed to her like a battered wreck of a ship that might have once sailed cheerfully on its journey to the sound of music. She spoke kindly as she showed him the operatic selections she wanted him to copy, and he seemed to bask in her radiant auburn presence, so that when he left with the music books under his arm, his bow, while still respectful, was less timid.

It was ten years at least since Sarti had seen anything so bright and stately and beautiful as Lady Cheverel. For the time was far off in which he had trod the stage in satin and feathers, the primo tenore of one short season. He had completely lost his voice in the following winter, and had ever since been little better than a cracked fiddle, which is good for nothing but firewood. For, like many Italian singers, he was too ignorant to teach, and if it had not been for his one talent of penmanship, he and his young helpless wife might have starved. Then, just after their third child was born, fever came, swept away the sickly mother and the two eldest children, and attacked Sarti himself, who rose from his sick-bed with enfeebled brain and muscle, and a tiny baby on his hands, scarcely four months old. He lodged over a fruit-shop kept by a stout virago, loud of tongue and irate in temper, but who had had children born to her, and so had taken care of the tiny yellow, black-eyed bambinetto, and tended Sarti himself through his sickness. Here he continued to live, earning a meagre subsistence for himself and his little one by the work of copying music, put into his hands chiefly by Maestro Albani. He seemed to exist for nothing but the child: he tended it, he dandled it, he chatted to it, living with it alone in his one room above the fruit-shop, only asking his landlady to take care of the marmoset during his short absences in fetching and carrying home work. Customers frequenting that fruit-shop might often see the tiny Caterina seated on the floor with her legs in a heap of pease, which it was her delight to kick about; or perhaps deposited, like a kitten, in a large basket out of harm’s way.

It had been at least ten years since Sarti had seen anything as bright, elegant, and beautiful as Lady Cheverel. Gone were the days when he graced the stage in satin and feathers as the primo tenore for one brief season. He had completely lost his voice the following winter and had since been little more than a cracked fiddle, good for nothing but firewood. Like many Italian singers, he lacked the knowledge to teach, and if it weren’t for his talent in penmanship, he and his young, vulnerable wife might have gone hungry. Then, just after their third child was born, fever struck, taking the ailing mother and the two oldest children, and it hit Sarti himself, who eventually rose from his sick bed with weakened mind and body, caring for a tiny baby barely four months old. He lived above a fruit shop run by a sturdy, loud woman with a quick temper, who had her own children and took care of the little yellow, black-eyed bambinetto, as well as looking after Sarti during his illness. He continued to live there, earning a meager living by copying music mainly assigned to him by Maestro Albani. He seemed to exist solely for the child: he cared for her, played with her, and talked to her, living alone with her in their single room above the fruit shop, only asking his landlady to watch over the little one during his short trips to pick up and drop off work. Customers at the fruit shop would often see the small Caterina sitting on the floor, her legs tangled in a pile of peas she loved to kick around, or perhaps resting like a kitten in a large basket, safe from harm.

Sometimes, however, Sarti left his little one with another kind of protectress. He was very regular in his devotions, which he paid thrice a-week in the great cathedral, carrying Caterina with him. Here, when the high morning sun was warming the myriad glittering pinnacles without, and struggling against the massive gloom within, the shadow of a man with a child on his arm might be seen flitting across the more stationary shadows of pillar and mullion, and making its way towards a little tinsel Madonna hanging in a retired spot near the choir. Amid all the sublimities of the mighty cathedral, poor Sarti had fixed on this tinsel Madonna as the symbol of divine mercy and protection,—just as a child, in the presence of a great landscape, sees none of the glories of wood and sky, but sets its heart on a floating feather or insect that happens to be on a level with its eye. Here, then, Sarti worshipped and prayed, setting Caterina on the floor by his side; and now and then, when the cathedral lay near some place where he had to call, and did not like to take her, he would leave her there in front of the tinsel Madonna, where she would sit, perfectly good, amusing herself with low crowing noises and see-sawings of her tiny body. And when Sarti came back, he always found that the Blessed Mother had taken good care of Caterina.

Sometimes, though, Sarti left his little one with another protector. He was consistent in his religious observances, which he attended three times a week at the grand cathedral, bringing Caterina along with him. Here, when the bright morning sun warmed the countless shining spires outside and battled against the heavy shadows within, the silhouette of a man with a child in his arms could be seen moving across the more permanent shadows of the pillars and windows, heading towards a little shiny Madonna tucked away near the choir. Amid all the grandeur of the magnificent cathedral, poor Sarti had chosen this shiny Madonna as a symbol of divine mercy and protection—just like a child, confronted with a vast landscape, ignores the beauty of trees and sky and fixates on a floating feather or bug that happens to catch its eye. Here, then, Sarti worshipped and prayed, placing Caterina on the floor beside him; and occasionally, when the cathedral was near a place he needed to go, and he didn’t want to take her, he would leave her there in front of the shiny Madonna, where she would sit, completely well-behaved, entertaining herself with quiet cooing sounds and gentle motions of her little body. And when Sarti returned, he always found that the Blessed Mother had taken good care of Caterina.

That was briefly the history of Sarti, who fulfilled so well the orders Lady Cheverel gave him, that she sent him away again with a stock of new work. But this time, week after week passed, and he neither reappeared nor sent home the music intrusted to him. Lady Cheverel began to be anxious, and was thinking of sending Warren to inquire at the address Sarti had given her, when one day, as she was equipped for driving out, the valet brought in a small piece of paper, which, he said, had been left for her ladyship by a man who was carrying fruit. The paper contained only three tremulous lines, in Italian:—‘Will the Eccelentissima, for the love of God, have pity on a dying man, and come to him?’

That was a brief overview of Sarti, who followed Lady Cheverel's instructions so well that she sent him off with a new batch of work. However, this time, weeks went by, and he neither returned nor sent back the music she had given him. Lady Cheverel started to feel worried and was considering sending Warren to check on the address Sarti had provided when one day, as she was getting ready to go out, the valet brought in a small piece of paper that, he said, had been left for her by a man selling fruit. The paper had only three shaky lines written in Italian: “Will the Most Excellent Lady, for the love of God, have mercy on a dying man and come to him?”

Lady Cheverel recognized the handwriting as Sarti’s in spite of its tremulousness, and, going down to her carriage, ordered the Milanese coachman to drive to Strada Quinquagesima, Numero 10. The coach stopped in a dirty narrow street opposite La Pazzini’s fruit-shop, and that large specimen of womanhood immediately presented herself at the door, to the extreme disgust of Mrs. Sharp, who remarked privately to Mr. Warren that La Pazzini was a ‘hijeous porpis’. The fruit-woman, however, was all smiles and deep curtsies to the Eccelentissima, who, not very well understanding her Milanese dialect, abbreviated the conversation by asking to be shown at once to Signor Sarti. La Pazzini preceded her up the dark narrow stairs, and opened a door through which she begged her ladyship to enter. Directly opposite the door lay Sarti, on a low miserable bed. His eyes were glazed, and no movement indicated that he was conscious of their entrance.

Lady Cheverel recognized the handwriting as Sarti’s despite its shaky quality and, heading down to her carriage, instructed the Milanese driver to take her to Strada Quinquagesima, Numero 10. The carriage stopped on a dirty narrow street across from La Pazzini’s fruit shop, and that large example of womanhood immediately appeared at the door, much to Mrs. Sharp's extreme annoyance, who privately told Mr. Warren that La Pazzini was a 'hijeous porpis'. However, the fruit seller was all smiles and deep bows to the Eccelentissima, who, not quite grasping her Milanese accent, cut the conversation short by asking to be taken straight to Signor Sarti. La Pazzini led her up the dark narrow stairs and opened a door, inviting her ladyship inside. Right in front of the door lay Sarti on a low, miserable bed. His eyes were glazed, and there was no sign that he was aware of their arrival.

On the foot of the bed was seated a tiny child, apparently not three years old, her head covered by a linen cap, her feet clothed with leather boots, above which her little yellow legs showed thin and naked. A frock, made of what had once been a gay flowered silk, was her only other garment. Her large dark eyes shone from out her queer little face, like two precious stones in a grotesque image carved in old ivory. She held an empty medicine-bottle in her hand, and was amusing herself with putting the cork in and drawing it out again, to hear how it would pop.

On the foot of the bed sat a small child, seemingly not yet three years old, with her head covered by a linen cap and her feet in leather boots, above which her little yellow legs appeared thin and bare. The only other piece of clothing she had on was a dress made from what used to be bright, floral silk. Her large dark eyes sparkled from her quirky little face, like two precious gems in a strange carving of old ivory. She held an empty medicine bottle in her hand, entertaining herself by putting the cork in and pulling it out again, just to hear it pop.

La Pazzini went up to the bed and said, ‘Ecco la nobilissima donna;’ but directly after screamed out, ‘Holy mother! he is dead!’

La Pazzini walked up to the bed and said, ‘Here is the noble lady;’ but right after, she screamed, ‘Holy mother! He’s dead!’

It was so. The entreaty had not been sent in time for Sarti to carry out his project of asking the great English lady to take care of his Caterina. That was the thought which haunted his feeble brain as soon as he began to fear that his illness would end in death. She had wealth—she was kind—she would surely do something for the poor orphan. And so, at last, he sent that scrap of paper which won the fulfilment of his prayer, though he did not live to utter it. Lady Cheverel gave La Pazzini money that the last decencies might be paid to the dead man, and carried away Caterina, meaning to consult Sir Christopher as to what should be done with her. Even Mrs. Sharp had been so smitten with pity by the scene she had witnessed when she was summoned up-stairs to fetch Caterina, as to shed a small tear, though she was not at all subject to that weakness; indeed, she abstained from it on principle, because, as she often said, it was known to be the worst thing in the world for the eyes.

It was true. The request hadn’t been sent in time for Sarti to ask the wealthy English woman to take care of his Caterina. That thought tormented his frail mind as he began to fear that his illness would lead to his death. She had money—she was kind—she would definitely do something for the poor orphan. So, in the end, he sent that note which secured the answer to his prayer, even though he didn’t live to voice it. Lady Cheverel gave La Pazzini money to cover the last rites for the deceased, and took Caterina away, planning to consult Sir Christopher about what to do with her. Even Mrs. Sharp was moved to pity by the scene she witnessed when she was called upstairs to fetch Caterina, allowing a small tear to fall, even though she generally wasn’t prone to that weakness; in fact, she avoided it on principle, as she often stated, because it was known to be the worst thing in the world for the eyes.

On the way back to her hotel, Lady Cheverel turned over various projects in her mind regarding Caterina, but at last one gained the preference over all the rest. Why should they not take the child to England, and bring her up there? They had been married twelve years, yet Cheverel Manor was cheered by no children’s voices, and the old house would be all the better for a little of that music. Besides, it would be a Christian work to train this little Papist into a good Protestant, and graft as much English fruit as possible on the Italian stem.

On her way back to the hotel, Lady Cheverel considered various plans for Caterina, but eventually one stood out above the others. Why not take the child to England and raise her there? They had been married for twelve years, yet Cheverel Manor was still silent without any children's laughter, and the old house would definitely benefit from a bit of that joy. Plus, it would be a good Christian act to raise this little Catholic girl as a Protestant and try to blend as much English culture as possible with her Italian background.

Sir Christopher listened to this plan with hearty acquiescence. He loved children, and took at once to the little black-eyed monkey—his name for Caterina all through her short life. But neither he nor Lady Cheverel had any idea of adopting her as their daughter, and giving her their own rank in life. They were much too English and aristocratic to think of anything so romantic. No! the child would be brought up at Cheverel Manor as a protegée, to be ultimately useful, perhaps, in sorting worsteds, keeping accounts, reading aloud, and otherwise supplying the place of spectacles when her ladyship’s eyes should wax dim.

Sir Christopher listened to this plan with enthusiastic agreement. He loved children and immediately took to the little black-eyed monkey—his name for Caterina throughout her short life. But neither he nor Lady Cheverel considered adopting her as their daughter and giving her their social status. They were far too English and aristocratic to entertain such a romantic idea. No! The child would be raised at Cheverel Manor as a protégée, ultimately to be useful in sorting yarns, managing accounts, reading aloud, and otherwise serving as a substitute for spectacles when her ladyship’s eyesight began to fail.

So Mrs. Sharp had to procure new clothes, to replace the linen cap, flowered frock, and leathern boots; and now, strange to say, little Caterina, who had suffered many unconscious evils in her existence of thirty moons, first began to know conscious troubles. ‘Ignorance,’ says Ajax, ‘is a painless evil;’ so, I should think, is dirt, considering the merry faces that go along with it. At any rate, cleanliness is sometimes a painful good, as any one can vouch who has had his face washed the wrong way, by a pitiless hand with a gold ring on the third finger. If you, reader, have not known that initiatory anguish, it is idle to expect that you will form any approximate conception of what Caterina endured under Mrs. Sharp’s new dispensation of soap-and-water. Happily, this purgatory came presently to be associated in her tiny brain with a passage straightway to a seat of bliss—the sofa in Lady Cheverel’s sitting-room, where there were toys to be broken, a ride was to be had on Sir Christopher’s knee, and a spaniel of resigned temper was prepared to undergo small tortures without flinching.

So Mrs. Sharp had to get new clothes to replace the linen cap, flowered dress, and leather boots; and now, oddly enough, little Caterina, who had suffered many hidden troubles in her thirty months of life, was starting to experience real discomfort. ‘Ignorance,’ says Ajax, ‘is a painless evil;’ and I think the same goes for dirt, given the happy faces that come with it. Anyway, cleanliness is sometimes a painful blessing, as anyone can attest who has had their face scrubbed the wrong way by a merciless hand wearing a gold ring on the third finger. If you, reader, haven't experienced that initial agony, it’s pointless to expect you to understand what Caterina went through under Mrs. Sharp’s new regime of soap and water. Fortunately, this torment eventually became linked in her tiny mind with a direct path to a seat of happiness—the sofa in Lady Cheverel’s sitting room, where there were toys to break, rides on Sir Christopher’s knee, and a spaniel with a calm demeanor ready to endure little tortures without flinching.

Chapter 4

In three months from the time of Caterina’s adoption—namely, in the late autumn of 1773—the chimneys of Cheverel Manor were sending up unwonted smoke, and the servants were awaiting in excitement the return of their master and mistress after a two years’ absence. Great was the astonishment of Mrs. Bellamy, the housekeeper, when Mr. Warren lifted a little black-eyed child out of the carriage, and great was Mrs. Sharp’s sense of superior information and experience, as she detailed Caterina’s history, interspersed with copious comments, to the rest of the upper servants that evening, as they were taking a comfortable glass of grog together in the housekeeper’s room.

In three months after Caterina was adopted—in late autumn of 1773—the chimneys of Cheverel Manor were releasing unusual smoke, and the staff was eagerly waiting for their master and mistress to return after two years away. Mrs. Bellamy, the housekeeper, was greatly surprised when Mr. Warren lifted a little black-eyed girl out of the carriage. Meanwhile, Mrs. Sharp felt a sense of superiority as she shared Caterina's story, full of detailed comments, with the other upper staff that evening while they relaxed with a drink in the housekeeper’s room.

A pleasant room it was as any party need desire to muster in on a cold November evening. The fireplace alone was a picture: a wide and deep recess with a low brick altar in the middle, where great logs of dry wood sent myriad sparks up the dark chimney-throat; and over the front of this recess a large wooden entablature bearing this motto, finely carved in old English letters, ‘Fear God and honour the King’. And beyond the party, who formed a half-moon with their chairs and well-furnished table round this bright fireplace, what a space of chiaroscuro for the imagination to revel in! Stretching across the far end of the room, what an oak table, high enough surely for Homer’s gods, standing on four massive legs, bossed and bulging like sculptured urns! and, lining the distant wall, what vast cupboards, suggestive of inexhaustible apricot jam and promiscuous butler’s perquisites! A stray picture or two had found their way down there, and made agreeable patches of dark brown on the buff-coloured walls. High over the loud-resounding double door hung one which, from some indications of a face looming out of blackness, might, by a great synthetic effort, be pronounced a Magdalen. Considerably lower down hung the similitude of a hat and feathers, with portions of a ruff, stated by Mrs. Bellamy to represent Sir Francis Bacon, who invented gunpowder, and, in her opinion, ‘might ha’ been better emplyed.’

It was a cozy room, perfect for any gathering on a chilly November evening. The fireplace was a standout feature: a wide, deep alcove with a low brick mantle in the center, where large logs of dry wood sent countless sparks up the dark chimney; and above this alcove hung a large wooden beam carved with the motto, 'Fear God and honor the King' in elegant old English letters. In front of the fireplace, the guests sat in a half-circle with their chairs around a well-set table, creating a warm atmosphere perfect for the imagination to wander. Across the far end of the room stood an impressive oak table, tall enough for the gods of Homer, supported by four heavy legs that looked like sculpted urns. Along the distant wall were large cupboards, suggesting an endless supply of apricot jam and the questionable perks of the butler! A couple of stray paintings had made their way onto the walls, providing nice contrasts of dark brown against the buff-colored walls. Above the loud, double doors hung one painting that, if you squinted just right, might have been recognized as a Magdalen. Lower down was a depiction of a hat and feathers, along with parts of a ruff, which Mrs. Bellamy claimed represented Sir Francis Bacon, who invented gunpowder and, in her view, “could’ve been better employed.”

But this evening the mind is but slightly arrested by the great Verulam, and is in the humour to think a dead philosopher less interesting than a living gardener, who sits conspicuous in the half-circle round the fireplace. Mr. Bates is habitually a guest in the housekeeper’s room of an evening, preferring the social pleasures there—the feast of gossip and the flow of grog—to a bachelor’s chair in his charming thatched cottage on a little island, where every sound is remote, but the cawing of rooks and the screaming of wild geese, poetic sounds, doubtless, but, humanly speaking, not convivial.

But this evening, my mind is only slightly captured by the great Verulam, and I'm in the mood to think that a dead philosopher is less interesting than a living gardener, who stands out in the half-circle around the fireplace. Mr. Bates is usually a guest in the housekeeper’s room in the evenings, enjoying the social pleasures there—the feast of gossip and the flow of drinks—rather than sitting alone in his charming thatched cottage on a little island, where every sound feels distant, except for the cawing of rooks and the honking of wild geese. Those may be poetic sounds, but from a human perspective, they aren't very sociable.

Mr. Bates was by no means an average person, to be passed without special notice. He was a sturdy Yorkshireman, approaching forty, whose face Nature seemed to have coloured when she was in a hurry, and had no time to attend to nuances, for every inch of him visible above his neckcloth was of one impartial redness; so that when he was at some distance your imagination was at liberty to place his lips anywhere between his nose and chin. Seen closer, his lips were discerned to be of a peculiar cut, and I fancy this had something to do with the peculiarity of his dialect, which, as we shall see, was individual rather than provincial. Mr. Bates was further distinguished from the common herd by a perpetual blinking of the eyes; and this, together with the red-rose tint of his complexion, and a way he had of hanging his head forward, and rolling it from side to side as he walked, gave him the air of a Bacchus in a blue apron, who, in the present reduced circumstances of Olympus, had taken to the management of his own vines. Yet, as gluttons are often thin, so sober men are often rubicund; and Mr. Bates was sober, with that manly, British, churchman-like sobriety which can carry a few glasses of grog without any perceptible clarification of ideas.

Mr. Bates was definitely not an average person who could be overlooked. He was a robust Yorkshireman, nearing forty, with a face that looked like Nature had quickly colored it without paying attention to nuances, resulting in a uniform shade of red from his neck up; so, when seen from a distance, your imagination could place his lips anywhere between his nose and chin. Up close, his lips had a unique shape, which I think had something to do with the distinctiveness of his dialect, which, as we will see, was more individual than regional. Mr. Bates was also marked by a constant blinking of his eyes; this, combined with the rosy tint of his complexion, and the way he leaned his head forward while swaying it side to side as he walked, made him seem like a Bacchus in a blue apron, who, in the current limited circumstances of Olympus, had taken on the management of his own vineyards. Yet, just as gluttons can be thin, sober men often appear rosy; and Mr. Bates was sober, with that sturdy, British, churchman-like sobriety that can handle a few drinks without any noticeable confusion of thoughts.

‘Dang my boottons!’ observed Mr. Bates, who, at the conclusion of Mrs. Sharp’s narrative, felt himself urged to his strongest interjection, ‘it’s what I shouldn’t ha’ looked for from Sir Cristhifer an’ my ledy, to bring a furrin child into the coonthry; an’ depend on’t, whether you an’ me lives to see’t or noo, it’ll coom to soom harm. The first sitiation iver I held—it was a hold hancient habbey, wi’ the biggest orchard o’ apples an’ pears you ever see—there was a French valet, an’ he stool silk stoockins, an’ shirts, an’ rings, an’ iverythin’ he could ley his hands on, an’ run awey at last wi’ th’ missis’s jewl-box. They’re all alaike, them furriners. It roons i’ th’ blood.’

‘Darn my buttons!’ Mr. Bates exclaimed, who, at the end of Mrs. Sharp’s story, felt compelled to express his strongest disbelief, ‘I wouldn’t have expected this from Sir Christopher and my lady, to bring a foreign child into the country; and believe me, whether you and I live to see it or not, it’ll lead to some trouble. The first job I ever had—it was an old ancient abbey, with the biggest orchard of apples and pears you’ve ever seen—there was a French valet, and he stole silk stockings, shirts, rings, and everything he could get his hands on, and ran away with the mistress’s jewelry box in the end. They’re all the same, those foreigners. It runs in their blood.’

‘Well,’ said Mrs. Sharp, with the air of a person who held liberal views, but knew where to draw the line, ‘I’m not a-going to defend the furriners, for I’ve as good reason to know what they are as most folks, an’ nobody’ll ever hear me say but what they’re next door to heathens, and the hile they eat wi’ their victuals is enough to turn any Christian’s stomach. But for all that—an’ for all as the trouble in respect o’ washin’ and managin’ has fell upo’ me through the journey—I can’t say but what I think as my Lady an’ Sir Cristifer’s done a right thing by a hinnicent child as doesn’t know its right hand from its left, i’ bringing it where it’ll learn to speak summat better nor gibberish, and be brought up i’ the true religion. For as for them furrin churches as Sir Cristifer is so unaccountable mad after, wi’ pictures o’ men an’ women a-showing themselves just for all the world as God made ’em. I think, for my part, as it’s welly a sin to go into ’em.’

‘Well,’ said Mrs. Sharp, sounding like someone with open-minded views but knowing where to draw the line, ‘I’m not going to defend the foreigners, because I have as good a reason as anyone to know what they are, and no one will ever hear me say that they’re anything but close to barbarians, and the stuff they eat with their food is enough to make any decent person queasy. But despite all that—and despite the trouble I’ve had with washing and managing since the trip—I can’t help but think that my Lady and Sir Cristifer have done the right thing by bringing an innocent child who doesn’t know its left from its right to a place where it can learn to speak something better than nonsense and be raised in the true faith. As for those foreign churches that Sir Cristifer is so inexplicably obsessed with, with their pictures of men and women showing themselves just as God made them, I personally think it’s practically a sin to go into them.’

‘You’re likely to have more foreigners, however,’ said Mr. Warren, who liked to provoke the gardener, ‘for Sir Christopher has engaged some Italian workmen to help in the alterations in the house.’

‘You’re probably going to have more foreigners, though,’ said Mr. Warren, who enjoyed teasing the gardener, ‘since Sir Christopher has hired some Italian workers to assist with the renovations in the house.’

‘Olterations!’ exclaimed Mrs. Bellamy, in alarm. ‘What olterations!’

‘Alterations!’ exclaimed Mrs. Bellamy, in alarm. ‘What alterations!’

‘Why,’ answered Mr. Warren, ‘Sir Christopher, as I understand, is going to make a new thing of the old Manor-house both inside and out. And he’s got portfolios full of plans and pictures coming. It is to be cased with stone, in the Gothic style—pretty near like the churches, you know, as far as I can make out; and the ceilings are to be beyond anything that’s been seen in the country. Sir Christopher’s been giving a deal of study to it.’

‘Why,’ answered Mr. Warren, ‘Sir Christopher, as I understand, is planning to completely renovate the old Manor-house, both inside and out. He has portfolios filled with designs and images on the way. It’s going to be covered in stone, in the Gothic style—similar to the churches, as far as I can tell; and the ceilings will be unlike anything seen in the country. Sir Christopher has put a lot of thought into it.’

‘Dear heart alive!’ said Mrs. Bellamy, ‘we shall be pisoned wi’ lime an’ plaster, an’ hev the house full o’ workmen colloguing wi’ the maids, an’ makin’ no end o’ mischief.’

‘Dear heart alive!’ said Mrs. Bellamy, ‘we're going to be poisoned with lime and plaster, and we'll have the house full of workers chatting with the maids and causing endless trouble.’

‘That ye may ley your life on, Mrs. Bellamy,’ said Mr. Bates. ‘Howiver, I’ll noot denay that the Goothic stayle’s prithy anoof, an’ it’s woonderful how near them stoon-carvers cuts oot the shapes o’ the pine apples, an’ shamrucks, an’ rooses. I dare sey Sir Cristhifer’ll meck a naice thing o’ the Manor, an’ there woon’t be many gentlemen’s houses i’ the coonthry as’ll coom up to’t, wi’ sich a garden an’ pleasure-groons an’ wall-fruit as King George maight be prood on.’

‘You can bet your life on that, Mrs. Bellamy,’ said Mr. Bates. ‘However, I won’t deny that the Gothic style is quite charming, and it’s amazing how well those stone carvers create the shapes of the pineapples, shamrocks, and roses. I dare say Sir Christopher will make the Manor into something really nice, and there won't be many gentlemen's houses in the country that can compare, with such a garden and pleasure grounds and wall fruit that King George would be proud of.’

‘Well, I can’t think as the house can be better nor it is, Gothic or no Gothic,’ said Mrs. Bellamy; ‘an’ I’ve done the picklin’ and preservin’ in it fourteen year Michaelmas was a three weeks. But what does my lady say to’t?’

‘Well, I can’t think of a house that’s better than this one, whether it’s Gothic or not,’ said Mrs. Bellamy; ‘and I’ve been pickling and preserving in it for fourteen years since Michaelmas was three weeks ago. But what does my lady say about it?’

‘My lady knows better than cross Sir Cristifer in what he’s set his mind on,’ said Mr. Bellamy, who objected to the critical tone of the conversation. ‘Sir Cristifer’ll hev his own way, that you may tek your oath. An’ i’ the right on’t too. He’s a gentleman born, an’s got the money. But come, Mester Bates, fill your glass, an’ we’ll drink health an’ happiness to his honour an’ my lady, and then you shall give us a song. Sir Cristifer doesn’t come hum from Italy ivery night.’

‘My lady knows better than to go against Sir Cristifer when he's made up his mind,’ said Mr. Bellamy, who disagreed with the critical tone of the conversation. ‘Sir Cristifer will have his way, that you can be sure of. And rightfully so. He’s a gentleman by birth and he's got the money. But come on, Master Bates, fill your glass, and we’ll toast to his honor and my lady, and then you’ll give us a song. Sir Cristifer doesn’t come back from Italy every night.’

This demonstrable position was accepted without hesitation as ground for a toast; but Mr. Bates, apparently thinking that his song was not an equally reasonable sequence, ignored the second part of Mr. Bellamy’s proposal. So Mrs. Sharp, who had been heard to say that she had no thoughts at all of marrying Mr. Bates, though he was ‘a sensable fresh-coloured man as many a woman ’ud snap at for a husband,’ enforced Mr. Bellamy’s appeal.

This clear stance was accepted without question as a reason for a toast; however, Mr. Bates, apparently believing that his song didn’t logically follow, overlooked the second part of Mr. Bellamy’s proposal. So Mrs. Sharp, who had been heard saying that she had no intention of marrying Mr. Bates, even though he was ‘a sensible, fresh-looking guy that many women would jump at for a husband,’ supported Mr. Bellamy’s request.

‘Come, Mr. Bates, let us hear “Roy’s Wife.” I’d rether hear a good old song like that, nor all the fine Italian toodlin.’

‘Come on, Mr. Bates, let’s hear “Roy’s Wife.” I’d rather hear a good old song like that than all the fancy Italian music.’

Mr. Bates, urged thus flatteringly, stuck his thumbs into the armholes of his waistcoat, threw himself back in his chair with his head in that position in which he could look directly towards the zenith, and struck up a remarkably staccato rendering of ‘Roy’s Wife of Aldivalloch’. This melody may certainly be taxed with excessive iteration, but that was precisely its highest recommendation to the present audience, who found it all the easier to swell the chorus. Nor did it at all diminish their pleasure that the only particular concerning ‘Roy’s Wife’, which Mr. Bates’s enunciation allowed them to gather, was that she ‘chated’ him,—whether in the matter of garden stuff or of some other commodity, or why her name should, in consequence, be repeatedly reiterated with exultation, remaining an agreeable mystery.

Mr. Bates, flattered by the encouragement, stuck his thumbs into the armholes of his waistcoat, leaned back in his chair with his head tilted so he could look straight up at the ceiling, and launched into a surprisingly staccato version of ‘Roy’s Wife of Aldivalloch’. This tune might be criticized for being overly repetitive, but that was exactly what the current audience appreciated, as it made it easier for them to join in the chorus. Their enjoyment wasn't at all lessened by the fact that the only detail about ‘Roy’s Wife’ that Mr. Bates’s performance allowed them to pick up was that she 'cheated' him—whether over garden produce or some other matter, or why her name was celebrated repeatedly remained a delightful mystery.

Mr. Bates’s song formed the climax of the evening’s good-fellowship, and the party soon after dispersed—Mrs. Bellamy perhaps to dream of quicklime flying among her preserving-pans, or of love-sick housemaids reckless of unswept corners—and Mrs. Sharp to sink into pleasant visions of independent housekeeping in Mr. Bates’s cottage, with no bells to answer, and with fruit and vegetables ad libitum.

Mr. Bates’s song was the highlight of the evening’s camaraderie, and the party soon broke up—Mrs. Bellamy likely to dream of quicklime flying around her preserving pots or love-struck housemaids indifferent to dusty corners—and Mrs. Sharp to drift into pleasant daydreams of independent living in Mr. Bates’s cottage, with no bells to ring and with fruits and vegetables at her leisure.

Caterina soon conquered all prejudices against her foreign blood; for what prejudices will hold out against helplessness and broken prattle? She became the pet of the household, thrusting Sir Christopher’s favourite bloodhound of that day, Mrs. Bellamy’s two canaries, and Mr. Bates’s largest Dorking hen, into a merely secondary position. The consequence was, that in the space of a summer’s day she went through a great cycle of experiences, commencing with the somewhat acidulated goodwill of Mrs. Sharp’s nursery discipline. Then came the grave luxury of her ladyship’s sitting-room, and, perhaps, the dignity of a ride on Sir Christopher’s knee, sometimes followed by a visit with him to the stables, where Caterina soon learned to hear without crying the baying of the chained bloodhounds, and say, with ostentatious bravery, clinging to Sir Christopher’s leg all the while, ‘Dey not hurt Tina.’ Then Mrs. Bellamy would perhaps be going out to gather the rose-leaves and lavender, and Tina was made proud and happy by being allowed to carry a handful in her pinafore; happier still, when they were spread out on sheets to dry, so that she could sit down like a frog among them, and have them poured over her in fragrant showers. Another frequent pleasure was to take a journey with Mr. Bates through the kitchen-gardens and the hothouses, where the rich bunches of green and purple grapes hung from the roof, far out of reach of the tiny yellow hand that could not help stretching itself out towards them; though the hand was sure at last to be satisfied with some delicate-flavoured fruit or sweet-scented flower. Indeed, in the long monotonous leisure of that great country-house, you may be sure there was always some one who had nothing better to do than to play with Tina. So that the little southern bird had its northern nest lined with tenderness, and caresses, and pretty things. A loving sensitive nature was too likely, under such nurture, to have its susceptibility heightened into unfitness for an encounter with any harder experience; all the more, because there were gleams of fierce resistance to any discipline that had a harsh or unloving aspect. For the only thing in which Caterina showed any precocity was a certain ingenuity in vindictiveness. When she was five years old she had revenged herself for an unpleasant prohibition by pouring the ink into Mrs. Sharp’s work-basket; and once, when Lady Cheverel took her doll from her, because she was affectionately licking the paint off its face, the little minx straightway climbed on a chair and threw down a flower-vase that stood on a bracket. This was almost the only instance in which her anger overcame her awe of Lady Cheverel, who had the ascendancy always belonging to kindness that never melts into caresses, and is severely but uniformly beneficent.

Caterina quickly overcame any prejudices about her foreign background; after all, what prejudices can last against someone who’s helpless and babbling? She became the favorite of the household, overshadowing Sir Christopher's prized bloodhound, Mrs. Bellamy’s canaries, and Mr. Bates’s largest Dorking hen. As a result, within just one summer day, she experienced a wide range of emotions and situations, starting with the slightly stern kindness of Mrs. Sharp’s nursery. Next came the elegant comfort of her ladyship’s sitting room, and occasionally, the honor of sitting on Sir Christopher’s knee, which sometimes led to visits to the stables. There, Caterina quickly learned to hear the chained bloodhounds without crying and would bravely assert, while clinging to Sir Christopher's leg, “They won't hurt Tina.” Then, as Mrs. Bellamy might go out to gather rose petals and lavender, Tina felt proud and happy to be allowed to carry a handful in her pinafore; she was even happier when those petals were spread out to dry, allowing her to sit among them like a frog, being showered with their sweet fragrance. Another favorite pastime was taking walks with Mr. Bates through the kitchen gardens and greenhouses, where lush bunches of green and purple grapes hung from above, just out of reach of her tiny yellow hand that couldn’t help but stretch toward them, even though it was often satisfied with some delightful fruit or sweet-smelling flower. In the long, lazy days at that grand country house, there was always someone around to play with Tina. So, the little southern bird had her northern home filled with love, affection, and lovely things. A naturally sensitive heart is likely to become more vulnerable to difficult experiences under such nurturing; especially since she occasionally showed fierce resistance to any discipline that felt harsh or unkind. The only thing that showed her slight precocity was her cleverness in revenge. At five years old, she got back at an unpleasant rule by pouring ink into Mrs. Sharp’s work basket; and once, when Lady Cheverel took her doll away because she was affectionately licking the paint off its face, the little mischief-maker immediately climbed up and knocked down a flower vase from a shelf. This was one of the few times her anger triumphed over her fear of Lady Cheverel, who always had the power that comes from kindness tempered with discipline—kindness that is supportive but never overly affectionate, remaining consistently and fairly kind.

By-and-by the happy monotony of Cheverel Manor was broken in upon in the way Mr. Warren had announced. The roads through the park were cut up by waggons carrying loads of stone from a neighbouring quarry, the green courtyard became dusty with lime, and the peaceful house rang with the sound of tools. For the next ten years Sir Christopher was occupied with the architectural metamorphosis of his old family mansion; thus anticipating, through the prompting of his individual taste, that general reaction from the insipid imitation of the Palladian style, towards a restoration of the Gothic, which marked the close of the eighteenth century. This was the object he had set his heart on, with a singleness of determination which was regarded with not a little contempt by his fox-hunting neighbours, who wondered greatly that a man with some of the best blood in England in his veins, should be mean enough to economize in his cellar, and reduce his stud to two old coach-horses and a hack, for the sake of riding a hobby, and playing the architect. Their wives did not see so much to blame in the matter of the cellar and stables, but they were eloquent in pity for poor Lady Cheverel, who had to live in no more than three rooms at once, and who must be distracted with noises, and have her constitution undermined by unhealthy smells. It was as bad as having a husband with an asthma. Why did not Sir Christopher take a house for her at Bath, or, at least, if he must spend his time in overlooking workmen, somewhere in the neighbourhood of the Manor? This pity was quite gratuitous, as the most plentiful pity always is; for though Lady Cheverel did not share her husband’s architectural enthusiasm, she had too rigorous a view of a wife’s duties, and too profound a deference for Sir Christopher, to regard submission as a grievance. As for Sir Christopher, he was perfectly indifferent to criticism. ‘An obstinate, crotchety man,’ said his neighbours. But I, who have seen Cheverel Manor, as he bequeathed it to his heirs, rather attribute that unswerving architectural purpose of his, conceived and carried out through long years of systematic personal exertion, to something of the fervour of genius, as well as inflexibility of will; and in walking through those rooms, with their splendid ceilings and their meagre furniture, which tell how all the spare money had been absorbed before personal comfort was thought of, I have felt that there dwelt in this old English baronet some of that sublime spirit which distinguishes art from luxury, and worships beauty apart from self-indulgence.

Soon enough, the happy routine of Cheverel Manor was disrupted in the way Mr. Warren had announced. The roads through the park were torn up by wagons hauling stone from a nearby quarry, the green courtyard turned dusty with lime, and the once peaceful house echoed with the sound of tools. For the next ten years, Sir Christopher was focused on transforming his old family home; he anticipated, influenced by his personal taste, the shift away from the bland imitation of the Palladian style towards a revival of Gothic architecture that characterized the end of the eighteenth century. This was his passion, pursued with a single-minded determination that earned him a fair amount of disdain from his fox-hunting neighbors, who were puzzled that a man with some of the best blood in England in his veins would be stingy enough to cut back on his wine cellar and reduce his stable to just two old carriage horses and a hack in order to indulge a hobby and play architect. Their wives weren't as critical of the cellar and stables, but they were quite vocal in their sympathy for poor Lady Cheverel, who had to manage in just three rooms at a time, likely disturbed by all the noise and suffering from unhealthy odors. It was just as bad as having a husband with asthma. Why didn’t Sir Christopher find her a house in Bath, or at least pick a spot nearby if he had to supervise workers? This sympathy was entirely unwarranted, as most plentiful pity often is; for although Lady Cheverel didn’t share her husband’s passion for architecture, she had a strict view of a wife’s responsibilities and a deep respect for Sir Christopher, so she didn’t see her submission as a complaint. As for Sir Christopher, he was completely indifferent to criticism. “An obstinate, stubborn man,” his neighbors would say. But I, having seen Cheverel Manor as he left it to his heirs, attribute his unwavering architectural vision—developed and realized over years of dedicated effort—to a mix of artistic passion and steadfastness. Walking through those rooms, with their splendid ceilings and sparse furniture, which reveal how every extra penny was used before personal comfort was considered, I’ve sensed that this old English baronet harbored some of that sublime spirit that sets art apart from luxury and reveres beauty outside of self-indulgence.

While Cheverel Manor was growing from ugliness into beauty, Caterina too was growing from a little yellow bantling into a whiter maiden, with no positive beauty indeed, but with a certain light airy grace, which, with her large appealing dark eyes, and a voice that, in its low-toned tenderness, recalled the love-notes of the stock-dove, gave her a more than usual charm. Unlike the building, however, Caterina’s development was the result of no systematic or careful appliances. She grew up very much like the primroses, which the gardener is not sorry to see within his enclosure, but takes no pains to cultivate. Lady Cheverel taught her to read and write, and say her catechism; Mr. Warren, being a good accountant, gave her lessons in arithmetic, by her ladyship’s desire; and Mrs. Sharp initiated her in all the mysteries of the needle. But, for a long time, there was no thought of giving her any more elaborate education. It is very likely that to her dying day Caterina thought the earth stood still, and that the sun and stars moved round it; but so, for the matter of that, did Helen, and Dido, and Desdemona, and Juliet; whence I hope you will not think my Caterina less worthy to be a heroine on that account. The truth is, that, with one exception, her only talent lay in loving; and there, it is probable, the most astronomical of women could not have surpassed her. Orphan and protegée though she was, this supreme talent of hers found plenty of exercise at Cheverel Manor, and Caterina had more people to love than many a small lady and gentleman affluent in silver mugs and blood relations. I think the first place in her childish heart was given to Sir Christopher, for little girls are apt to attach themselves to the finest-looking gentleman at hand, especially as he seldom has anything to do with discipline. Next to the Baronet came Dorcas, the merry rosy-cheeked damsel who was Mrs. Sharp’s lieutenant in the nursery, and thus played the part of the raisins in a dose of senna. It was a black day for Caterina when Dorcas married the coachman, and went, with a great sense of elevation in the world, to preside over a ‘public’ in the noisy town of Sloppeter. A little china-box, bearing the motto ‘Though lost to sight, to memory dear’, which Dorcas sent her as a remembrance, was among Caterina’s treasures ten years after.

While Cheverel Manor was transforming from ugly to beautiful, Caterina was also changing from a little yellow chick into a fairer young woman. She didn’t have any striking beauty, but she had a light, graceful presence that, along with her big dark eyes and a voice that softly resembled the gentle cooing of a dove, gave her a special charm. Unlike the manor, Caterina’s growth wasn't the result of any careful planning or effort. She blossomed much like the primroses that the gardener is happy to see in his garden but doesn’t actively cultivate. Lady Cheverel taught her to read and write and recite her catechism; Mr. Warren, being a solid accountant, gave her math lessons at Lady Cheverel’s request; and Mrs. Sharp introduced her to the art of sewing. For a long time, there was no thought of providing her with a more advanced education. It’s likely that she believed until the end of her life that the earth was stationary and that the sun and stars revolved around it. But then again, so did Helen, Dido, Desdemona, and Juliet; so I hope you don't think any less of Caterina as a heroine because of that. The truth is, with one exception, her only talent was loving, and it's likely that no matter how knowledgeable, any woman could not have surpassed her in that. Though she was an orphan and a ward, this exceptional talent had plenty of opportunities to flourish at Cheverel Manor, and Caterina had more people to love than many little girls and boys who were wealthy and had family ties. I think Sir Christopher held the top spot in her young heart because little girls tend to gravitate towards the most handsome gentleman around, especially since he rarely enforced rules. Next came Dorcas, the cheerful, rosy-cheeked young woman who was Mrs. Sharp’s assistant in the nursery and was like the raisins in a dose of senna. It was a sad day for Caterina when Dorcas married the coachman and went off, feeling quite elevated in status, to run a pub in the bustling town of Sloppeter. A small china box with the motto “Though lost to sight, to memory dear,” which Dorcas sent her as a keepsake, remained one of Caterina’s treasures ten years later.

The one other exceptional talent, you already guess, was music. When the fact that Caterina had a remarkable ear for music, and a still more remarkable voice, attracted Lady Cheverel’s notice, the discovery was very welcome both to her and Sir Christopher. Her musical education became at once an object of interest. Lady Cheverel devoted much time to it; and the rapidity of Tina’s progress surpassing all hopes, an Italian singing-master was engaged, for several years, to spend some months together at Cheverel Manor. This unexpected gift made a great alteration in Caterina’s position. After those first years in which little girls are petted like puppies and kittens, there comes a time when it seems less obvious what they can be good for, especially when, like Caterina, they give no particular promise of cleverness or beauty; and it is not surprising that in that uninteresting period there was no particular plan formed as to her future position. She could always help Mrs. Sharp, supposing she were fit for nothing else, as she grew up; but now, this rare gift of song endeared her to Lady Cheverel, who loved music above all things, and it associated her at once with the pleasures of the drawing-room. Insensibly she came to be regarded as one of the family, and the servants began to understand that Miss Sarti was to be a lady after all.

The other exceptional talent, as you might guess, was music. When Lady Cheverel noticed that Caterina had an incredible ear for music and an even more amazing voice, it was a discovery that made both her and Sir Christopher very happy. Caterina's musical education immediately became a point of interest. Lady Cheverel dedicated a lot of time to it, and since Tina’s progress exceeded all expectations, an Italian singing teacher was brought in for several years to spend a few months at Cheverel Manor. This unexpected talent significantly changed Caterina’s situation. After the early years when little girls are spoiled like puppies and kittens, there comes a time when it’s not as clear what they’re good for, especially when, like Caterina, they don’t show any special promise of intelligence or beauty. So it’s not surprising that during this dull period, there was no specific plan for her future. She could always assist Mrs. Sharp, assuming she didn't excel at anything else as she grew up; but now, this unique gift of song made her dear to Lady Cheverel, who loved music above all else, and it immediately linked her to the pleasures of the drawing-room. Gradually, she was seen as part of the family, and the servants started to realize that Miss Sarti was going to be a lady after all.

‘And the raight on’t too,’ said Mr. Bates, ‘for she hasn’t the cut of a gell as must work for her bread; she’s as nesh an’ dilicate as a paich-blossom—welly laike a linnet, wi’ on’y joost body anoof to hold her voice.’

‘And the truth is, too,’ said Mr. Bates, ‘because she doesn’t look like a girl who has to work for her living; she’s as soft and delicate as a peach blossom—almost like a linnet, with just enough body to hold her voice.’

But long before Tina had reached this stage of her history, a new era had begun for her, in the arrival of a younger companion than any she had hitherto known. When she was no more than seven, a ward of Sir Christopher’s—a lad of fifteen, Maynard Gilfil by name—began to spend his vacations at Cheverel Manor, and found there no playfellow so much to his mind as Caterina. Maynard was an affectionate lad, who retained a propensity to white rabbits, pet squirrels, and guinea-pigs, perhaps a little beyond the age at which young gentlemen usually look down on such pleasures as puerile. He was also much given to fishing, and to carpentry, considered as a fine art, without any base view to utility. And in all these pleasures it was his delight to have Caterina as his companion, to call her little pet names, answer her wondering questions, and have her toddling after him as you may have seen a Blenheim spaniel trotting after a large setter. Whenever Maynard went back to school, there was a little scene of parting.

But long before Tina reached this point in her story, a new chapter began for her with the arrival of a younger friend than any she had known before. When she was only seven, a ward of Sir Christopher, a fifteen-year-old named Maynard Gilfil, started spending his vacations at Cheverel Manor and found no playmate he liked more than Caterina. Maynard was a caring kid who had a fondness for white rabbits, pet squirrels, and guinea pigs—perhaps a bit longer than most boys who usually outgrow such things. He also loved fishing and woodworking, treating it as an art form rather than something practical. In all these activities, he enjoyed having Caterina by his side, calling her cute names, answering her curious questions, and having her follow him like a Blenheim spaniel trailing a big setter. Every time Maynard went back to school, there was a little scene of goodbye.

‘You won’t forget me, Tina, before I come back again? I shall leave you all the whip-cord we’ve made; and don’t you let Guinea die. Come, give me a kiss, and promise not to forget me.’

‘You won't forget me, Tina, before I come back, right? I’ll leave you all the whip-cord we've made; and don't let Guinea die. Come on, give me a kiss, and promise not to forget me.’

As the years wore on, and Maynard passed from school to college, and from a slim lad to a stalwart young man, their companionship in the vacations necessarily took a different form, but it retained a brotherly and sisterly familiarity. With Maynard the boyish affection had insensibly grown into ardent love. Among all the many kinds of first love, that which begins in childish companionship is the strongest and most enduring: when passion comes to unite its force to long affection, love is at its spring-tide. And Maynard Gilfil’s love was of a kind to make him prefer being tormented by Caterina to any pleasure, apart from her, which the most benevolent magician could have devised for him. It is the way with those tall large-limbed men, from Samson downwards. As for Tina, the little minx was perfectly well aware that Maynard was her slave; he was the one person in the world whom she did as she pleased with; and I need not tell you that this was a symptom of her being perfectly heart-whole so far as he was concerned: for a passionate woman’s love is always overshadowed by fear.

As the years passed, and Maynard moved from school to college, and from a skinny kid to a sturdy young man, their friendship during vacations naturally changed, but it still held a brotherly and sisterly closeness. For Maynard, the childhood affection had quietly transformed into deep love. Among all forms of first love, the kind that starts in childhood friendship is the strongest and most enduring: when passion combines with long-standing affection, love reaches its peak. And Maynard Gilfil’s love was such that he preferred being tormented by Caterina to any joy, apart from her, that the kindest magician could create for him. This is typical of those tall, strong men, from Samson onwards. As for Tina, the little tease was fully aware that Maynard was her devoted follower; he was the one person in the world she could control completely; and I don’t need to tell you that this showed she was perfectly unattached in terms of love for him: for a passionate woman’s love is always tinged with fear.

Maynard Gilfil did not deceive himself in his interpretation of Caterina’s feelings, but he nursed the hope that some time or other she would at least care enough for him to accept his love. So he waited patiently for the day when he might venture to say, ‘Caterina, I love you!’ You see, he would have been content with very little, being one of those men who pass through life without making the least clamour about themselves; thinking neither the cut of his coat, nor the flavour of his soup, nor the precise depth of a servant’s bow, at all momentous. He thought—foolishly enough, as lovers will think—that it was a good augury for him when he came to be domesticated at Cheverel Manor in the quality of chaplain there, and curate of a neighbouring parish; judging falsely, from his own case, that habit and affection were the likeliest avenues to love. Sir Christopher satisfied several feelings in installing Maynard as chaplain in his house. He liked the old-fashioned dignity of that domestic appendage; he liked his ward’s companionship; and, as Maynard had some private fortune, he might take life easily in that agreeable home, keeping his hunter, and observing a mild regimen of clerical duty, until the Cumbermoor living should fall in, when he might be settled for life in the neighbourhood of the manor. ‘With Caterina for a wife, too,’ Sir Christopher soon began to think; for though the good Baronet was not at all quick to suspect what was unpleasant and opposed to his views of fitness, he was quick to see what would dovetail with his own plans; and he had first guessed, and then ascertained, by direct inquiry, the state of Maynard’s feelings. He at once leaped to the conclusion that Caterina was of the same mind, or at least would be, when she was old enough. But these were too early days for anything definite to be said or done.

Maynard Gilfil was clear about how Caterina felt, but he held onto the hope that someday she would care enough to accept his love. So he patiently waited for the moment when he could say, ‘Caterina, I love you!’ He would have been satisfied with very little, being one of those men who go through life without demanding much attention; he didn’t think the style of his coat, the taste of his food, or the exact depth of a servant’s bow was very important. He naively believed—like many lovers do—that it was a good sign for him when he became the chaplain at Cheverel Manor and curate of a nearby parish, mistakenly thinking that routine and affection were the best ways to love. Sir Christopher had various reasons for appointing Maynard as chaplain in his home. He appreciated the old-fashioned respect that came with that role; he enjoyed having his ward around; and since Maynard had some personal wealth, he could take life easy in that pleasant home, keep his horse, and follow a light schedule of church duties, until a position at Cumbermoor became available, when he could settle down for life near the manor. ‘With Caterina as his wife, too,’ Sir Christopher soon began to think; for although he wasn’t quick to notice what was unpleasant or against his ideas of appropriateness, he was quick to recognize what fit his plans. He had first guessed, and then found out through direct inquiry, how Maynard felt. He immediately jumped to the conclusion that Caterina felt the same way, or at least would when she was older. But it was still too early for anything definite to be said or done.

Meanwhile, new circumstances were arising, which, though they made no change in Sir Christopher’s plans and prospects, converted Mr. Gilfil’s hopes into anxieties, and made it clear to him not only that Caterina’s heart was never likely to be his, but that it was given entirely to another.

Meanwhile, new situations were coming up, which, while they didn’t affect Sir Christopher’s plans and prospects, turned Mr. Gilfil’s hopes into worries and made it obvious to him not only that Caterina’s heart was unlikely to belong to him, but that it was completely given to someone else.

Once or twice in Caterina’s childhood, there had been another boy-visitor at the manor, younger than Maynard Gilfil—a beautiful boy with brown curls and splendid clothes, on whom Caterina had looked with shy admiration. This was Anthony Wybrow, the son of Sir Christopher’s youngest sister, and chosen heir of Cheverel Manor. The Baronet had sacrificed a large sum, and even straitened the resources by which he was to carry out his architectural schemes, for the sake of removing the entail from his estate, and making this boy his heir—moved to the step, I am sorry to say, by an implacable quarrel with his elder sister; for a power of forgiveness was not among Sir Christopher’s virtues. At length, on the death of Anthony’s mother, when he was no longer a curly-headed boy, but a tall young man, with a captain’s commission, Cheverel Manor became his home too, whenever he was absent from his regiment. Caterina was then a little woman, between sixteen and seventeen, and I need not spend many words in explaining what you perceive to be the most natural thing in the world.

Once or twice during Caterina’s childhood, there was another boy-visitor at the manor, younger than Maynard Gilfil—a handsome boy with brown curls and fancy clothes, whom Caterina admired shyly. This was Anthony Wybrow, the son of Sir Christopher’s youngest sister and the chosen heir of Cheverel Manor. The Baronet had sacrificed a large amount of money and even stretched his resources for his architectural projects to remove the entail from his estate and make this boy his heir—his decision was sadly influenced by a bitter feud with his older sister, as forgiveness was not one of Sir Christopher’s strengths. Eventually, after Anthony’s mother passed away, he was no longer a curly-headed boy but a tall young man with a captain’s commission. Cheverel Manor became his home too whenever he was away from his regiment. Caterina was then a young woman, between sixteen and seventeen, and I won’t need to elaborate on what you can see is the most natural thing in the world.

There was little company kept at the Manor, and Captain Wybrow would have been much duller if Caterina had not been there. It was pleasant to pay her attentions—to speak to her in gentle tones, to see her little flutter of pleasure, the blush that just lit up her pale cheek, and the momentary timid glance of her dark eyes, when he praised her singing, leaning at her side over the piano. Pleasant, too, to cut out that chaplain with his large calves! What idle man can withstand the temptation of a woman to fascinate, and another man to eclipse?—especially when it is quite clear to himself that he means no mischief, and shall leave everything to come right again by-and-by? At the end of eighteen months, however, during which Captain Wybrow had spent much of his time at the Manor, he found that matters had reached a point which he had not at all contemplated. Gentle tones had led to tender words, and tender words had called forth a response of looks which made it impossible not to carry on the crescendo of love-making. To find one’s self adored by a little, graceful, dark-eyed, sweet-singing woman, whom no one need despise, is an agreeable sensation, comparable to smoking the finest Latakia, and also imposes some return of tenderness as a duty.

There wasn't much company at the Manor, and Captain Wybrow would have been a lot more bored if Caterina hadn’t been there. It was nice to give her attention—to talk to her softly, to see her little bursts of happiness, the blush that barely touched her pale cheek, and the shy, fleeting look in her dark eyes when he praised her singing, leaning beside her at the piano. It was also enjoyable to outshine that chaplain with his big calves! What idle man can resist the temptation of a captivating woman and the chance to overshadow another man?—especially when he knows he means no harm and believes that everything will work itself out later? However, after eighteen months, during which Captain Wybrow spent much of his time at the Manor, he realized things had reached a point he hadn’t anticipated. Gentle tones had led to tender words, and tender words had sparked looks that made it impossible not to continue the buildup of romance. To discover that a sweet, graceful, dark-eyed woman, who nobody would look down on, adores you is a delightful feeling, much like smoking the finest Latakia, and it also creates a sense of obligation to reciprocate that tenderness.

Perhaps you think that Captain Wybrow, who knew that it would be ridiculous to dream of his marrying Caterina, must have been a reckless libertine to win her affections in this manner! Not at all. He was a young man of calm passions, who was rarely led into any conduct of which he could not give a plausible account to himself; and the tiny fragile Caterina was a woman who touched the imagination and the affections rather than the senses. He really felt very kindly towards her, and would very likely have loved her—if he had been able to love any one. But nature had not endowed him with that capability. She had given him an admirable figure, the whitest of hands, the most delicate of nostrils, and a large amount of serene self-satisfaction; but, as if to save such a delicate piece of work from any risk of being shattered, she had guarded him from the liability to a strong emotion. There was no list of youthful misdemeanours on record against him, and Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel thought him the best of nephews, the most satisfactory of heirs, full of grateful deference to themselves, and, above all things, guided by a sense of duty. Captain Wybrow always did the thing easiest and most agreeable to him from a sense of duty: he dressed expensively, because it was a duty he owed to his position; from a sense of duty he adapted himself to Sir Christopher’s inflexible will, which it would have been troublesome as well as useless to resist; and, being of a delicate constitution, he took care of his health from a sense of duty. His health was the only point on which he gave anxiety to his friends; and it was owing to this that Sir Christopher wished to see his nephew early married, the more so as a match after the Baronet’s own heart appeared immediately attainable. Anthony had seen and admired Miss Assher, the only child of a lady who had been Sir Christopher’s earliest love, but who, as things will happen in this world, had married another baronet instead of him. Miss Assher’s father was now dead, and she was in possession of a pretty estate. If, as was probable, she should prove susceptible to the merits of Anthony’s person and character, nothing could make Sir Christopher so happy as to see a marriage which might be expected to secure the inheritance of Cheverel Manor from getting into the wrong hands. Anthony had already been kindly received by Lady Assher as the nephew of her early friend; why should he not go to Bath, where she and her daughter were then residing, follow up the acquaintance, and win a handsome, well-born, and sufficiently wealthy bride?

Maybe you think that Captain Wybrow, who knew it would be silly to dream of marrying Caterina, must have been a reckless player to win her affections this way! Not at all. He was a young man with calm passions, rarely led into any behavior he couldn’t explain to himself; and the tiny, delicate Caterina was a woman who captured the imagination and emotions rather than the senses. He genuinely cared for her and would likely have loved her—if he had been able to love anyone. But nature hadn’t given him that ability. She had given him an admirable figure, the fairest of hands, the most delicate nostrils, and a strong sense of self-satisfaction; but, as if to protect such a fragile creation from any risk of being shattered, she had kept him from experiencing strong feelings. There was no record of youthful misdeeds against him, and Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel considered him the best of nephews, the most satisfactory heir, respectful towards them, and above all, guided by a sense of duty. Captain Wybrow always did what was easiest and most pleasant for him out of duty: he dressed in expensive clothes because it was a duty to his position; he conformed to Sir Christopher’s unyielding will, which would have been both bothersome and pointless to resist; and being of a delicate constitution, he cared for his health out of duty. His health was the only thing that worried his friends; and it was for this reason that Sir Christopher wanted to see his nephew married soon, especially since a match that suited the Baronet’s tastes seemed easily achievable. Anthony had seen and admired Miss Assher, the only child of a woman who had been Sir Christopher’s first love, but who, as often happens, had married another baronet instead of him. Miss Assher’s father was now dead, and she owned a lovely estate. If, as was likely, she would be attracted to Anthony’s looks and character, nothing would make Sir Christopher happier than to see a marriage that could ensure Cheverel Manor didn’t fall into the wrong hands. Anthony had already been warmly welcomed by Lady Assher as the nephew of her old friend; so why shouldn’t he go to Bath, where she and her daughter were staying, pursue the acquaintance, and win a beautiful, well-bred, and sufficiently wealthy bride?

Sir Christopher’s wishes were communicated to his nephew, who at once intimated his willingness to comply with them—from a sense of duty. Caterina was tenderly informed by her lover of the sacrifice demanded from them both; and three days afterwards occurred the parting scene you have witnessed in the gallery, on the eve of Captain Wybrow’s departure for Bath.

Sir Christopher’s wishes were shared with his nephew, who immediately expressed his willingness to fulfill them out of a sense of duty. Caterina was gently told by her lover about the sacrifice required from both of them; and three days later, the farewell scene you saw in the gallery took place, just before Captain Wybrow left for Bath.

Chapter 5

The inexorable ticking of the clock is like the throb of pain to sensations made keen by a sickening fear. And so it is with the great clockwork of nature. Daisies and buttercups give way to the brown waving grasses, tinged with the warm red sorrel; the waving grasses are swept away, and the meadows lie like emeralds set in the bushy hedgerows; the tawny-tipped corn begins to bow with the weight of the full ear; the reapers are bending amongst it, and it soon stands in sheaves, then presently, the patches of yellow stubble lie side by side with streaks of dark-red earth, which the plough is turning up in preparation for the new-thrashed seed. And this passage from beauty to beauty, which to the happy is like the flow of a melody, measures for many a human heart the approach of foreseen anguish—seems hurrying on the moment when the shadow of dread will be followed up by the reality of despair.

The steady ticking of the clock feels like a pulse of pain, heightened by a sinking fear. It’s the same with the great mechanics of nature. Daisies and buttercups give way to the brown, swaying grasses, mixed with the warm red sorrel; the grasses are soon replaced, and the meadows look like emeralds set against the bushy hedgerows; the golden-tipped corn starts to bend under the weight of the full ears; the harvesters are working among it, and soon it’s gathered into sheaves. Then, the patches of yellow stubble lie next to streaks of dark-red earth, which the plow turns up in preparation for the newly threshed seeds. This shift from beauty to beauty, which feels like a flowing melody to the happy, signals for many hearts the looming approach of expected pain—hurrying toward the moment when the shadow of fear will be followed by the reality of despair.

How cruelly hasty that summer of 1788 seemed to Caterina! Surely the roses vanished earlier, and the berries on the mountain-ash were more impatient to redden, and bring on the autumn, when she would be face to face with her misery, and witness Anthony giving all his gentle tones, tender words, and soft looks to another.

How cruelly rushed that summer of 1788 felt to Caterina! Surely the roses disappeared sooner, and the berries on the mountain-ash were more eager to turn red and bring on the autumn, when she would be confronted with her misery and see Anthony giving all his gentle tones, tender words, and soft looks to someone else.

Before the end of July, Captain Wybrow had written word that Lady Assher and her daughter were about to fly from the heat and gaiety of Bath to the shady quiet of their place at Farleigh, and that he was invited to join the party there. His letters implied that he was on an excellent footing with both the ladies, and gave no hint of a rival; so that Sir Christopher was more than usually bright and cheerful after reading them. At length, towards the close of August, came the announcement that Captain Wybrow was an accepted lover, and after much complimentary and congratulatory correspondence between the two families, it was understood that in September Lady Assher and her daughter would pay a visit to Cheverel Manor, when Beatrice would make the acquaintance of her future relatives, and all needful arrangements could be discussed. Captain Wybrow would remain at Farleigh till then, and accompany the ladies on their journey.

Before the end of July, Captain Wybrow wrote that Lady Assher and her daughter were about to leave the heat and excitement of Bath for the peaceful shade of their home in Farleigh, and that he was invited to join them. His letters suggested he was on great terms with both ladies and didn’t mention any rivals, so Sir Christopher was unusually bright and cheerful after reading them. Finally, towards the end of August, news came that Captain Wybrow was officially courting, and after a lot of friendly exchanges between the two families, it was agreed that in September, Lady Assher and her daughter would visit Cheverel Manor, where Beatrice would meet her future relatives, and all necessary arrangements could be discussed. Captain Wybrow would stay at Farleigh until then and travel with the ladies.

In the interval, every one at Cheverel Manor had something to do by way of preparing for the visitors. Sir Christopher was occupied in consultations with his steward and lawyer, and in giving orders to every one else, especially in spurring on Francesco to finish the saloon. Mr. Gilfil had the responsibility of procuring a lady’s horse, Miss Assher being a great rider. Lady Cheverel had unwonted calls to make and invitations to deliver. Mr. Bates’s turf, and gravel, and flower-beds were always at such a point of neatness and finish that nothing extraordinary could be done in the garden, except a little extraordinary scolding of the under-gardener, and this addition Mr. Bates did not neglect.

During this time, everyone at Cheverel Manor had tasks to complete in preparation for the visitors. Sir Christopher was busy meeting with his steward and lawyer, and giving orders to everyone else, especially urging Francesco to finish the saloon. Mr. Gilfil was responsible for getting a lady’s horse, as Miss Assher was an avid rider. Lady Cheverel had some unusual errands to run and invitations to deliver. Mr. Bates’s turf, gravel, and flower beds were always kept in such a state of neatness and perfection that nothing extraordinary could be done in the garden, except for a bit of unusual yelling at the under-gardener, which Mr. Bates made sure to incorporate.

Happily for Caterina, she too had her task, to fill up the long dreary daytime: it was to finish a chair-cushion which would complete the set of embroidered covers for the drawing-room, Lady Cheverel’s year-long work, and the only noteworthy bit of furniture in the Manor. Over this embroidery she sat with cold lips and a palpitating heart, thankful that this miserable sensation throughout the daytime seemed to counteract the tendency to tears which returned with night and solitude. She was most frightened when Sir Christopher approached her. The Baronet’s eye was brighter and his step more elastic than ever, and it seemed to him that only the most leaden or churlish souls could be otherwise than brisk and exulting in a world where everything went so well. Dear old gentleman! he had gone through life a little flushed with the power of his will, and now his latest plan was succeeding, and Cheverel Manor would be inherited by a grand-nephew, whom he might even yet live to see a fine young fellow with at least the down on his chin. Why not? one is still young at sixty.

Happily for Caterina, she also had a task to fill the long, dreary daytime: finishing a chair cushion to complete the set of embroidered covers for the drawing room, Lady Cheverel’s year-long project and the only notable piece of furniture in the Manor. She sat over this embroidery with cold lips and a racing heart, thankful that this miserable feeling during the day seemed to counteract the urge to cry that returned with night and solitude. She felt most frightened when Sir Christopher approached her. The Baronet’s eyes were brighter and his step more lively than ever, and he believed that only the most dull or ungrateful people could fail to feel cheerful and excited in a world where everything was going so well. Dear old gentleman! He had gone through life a bit flushed with the power of his will, and now his latest plan was succeeding, with Cheverel Manor set to be inherited by a grand-nephew, whom he might even live to see grow into a fine young man with at least some stubble on his chin. Why not? One is still young at sixty.

Sir Christopher had always something playful to say to Caterina.

Sir Christopher always had something playful to say to Caterina.

‘Now, little monkey, you must be in your best voice: you’re the minstrel of the Manor, you know, and be sure you have a pretty gown and a new ribbon. You must not be dressed in russet, though you are a singing-bird.’ Or perhaps, ‘It is your turn to be courted next, Tina. But don’t you learn any naughty proud airs. I must have Maynard let off easily.’

‘Now, little monkey, you need to sound your best: you’re the minstrel of the Manor, remember, so make sure you wear a nice dress and a new ribbon. You shouldn’t wear brown, even if you are a singing-bird.’ Or maybe, ‘It’s your turn to be wooed next, Tina. But don’t pick up any sassy attitudes. I want Maynard to have an easy time.’

Caterina’s affection for the old Baronet helped her to summon up a smile as he stroked her cheek and looked at her kindly, but that was the moment at which she felt it most difficult not to burst out crying. Lady Cheverel’s conversation and presence were less trying; for her ladyship felt no more than calm satisfaction in this family event; and besides, she was further sobered by a little jealousy at Sir Christopher’s anticipation of pleasure in seeing Lady Assher, enshrined in his memory as a mild-eyed beauty of sixteen, with whom he had exchanged locks before he went on his first travels. Lady Cheverel would have died rather than confess it, but she couldn’t help hoping that he would be disappointed in Lady Assher, and rather ashamed of having called her so charming.

Caterina’s fondness for the old Baronet helped her manage a smile as he gently stroked her cheek and looked at her warmly, but that was the moment she found it hardest not to cry. Lady Cheverel’s conversation and presence were less overwhelming; her ladyship felt nothing more than calm satisfaction in this family event. Besides, she was a bit sobered by a touch of jealousy at Sir Christopher’s excitement about seeing Lady Assher, who he remembered as a sweet-eyed beauty of sixteen, with whom he had exchanged locks before he left on his first travels. Lady Cheverel would have rather died than admit it, but she couldn’t help secretly hoping that he would be let down by Lady Assher and somewhat embarrassed for having called her so charming.

Mr. Gilfil watched Caterina through these days with mixed feelings. Her suffering went to his heart; but, even for her sake, he was glad that a love which could never come to good should be no longer fed by false hopes; and how could he help saying to himself, ‘Perhaps, after a while, Caterina will be tired of fretting about that cold-hearted puppy, and then . . .’

Mr. Gilfil watched Caterina during these days with mixed emotions. Her pain tugged at his heart; yet, even for her sake, he was relieved that a love that could never lead to anything good was no longer being fueled by false hopes. And how could he avoid thinking to himself, ‘Maybe, after a while, Caterina will get tired of worrying about that cold-hearted jerk, and then . . .’

At length the much-expected day arrived, and the brightest of September suns was lighting up the yellowing lime-trees, as about five o’clock Lady Assher’s carriage drove under the portico. Caterina, seated at work in her own room, heard the rolling of the wheels, followed presently by the opening and shutting of doors, and the sound of voices in the corridors. Remembering that the dinner-hour was six, and that Lady Cheverel had desired her to be in the drawing-room early, she started up to dress, and was delighted to find herself feeling suddenly brave and strong. Curiosity to see Miss Assher—the thought that Anthony was in the house—the wish not to look unattractive, were feelings that brought some colour to her lips, and made it easy to attend to her toilette. They would ask her to sing this evening, and she would sing well. Miss Assher should not think her utterly insignificant. So she put on her grey silk gown and her cherry coloured ribbon with as much care as if she had been herself the betrothed; not forgetting the pair of round pearl earrings which Sir Christopher had told Lady Cheverel to give her, because Tina’s little ears were so pretty.

At last, the much-anticipated day arrived, and the brightest September sun illuminated the yellowing lime trees as Lady Assher’s carriage pulled up under the portico around five o'clock. Caterina, working in her room, heard the rolling of the wheels, followed soon by the opening and closing of doors and the sound of voices in the hallway. Remembering that dinner was at six and that Lady Cheverel had asked her to be in the drawing room early, she jumped up to get ready, feeling unexpectedly brave and strong. Curiosity about seeing Miss Assher—the thought that Anthony was in the house—and the desire to look appealing gave her some color in her cheeks and made it easy to focus on her appearance. They would probably ask her to sing that evening, and she intended to sing well. Miss Assher wouldn’t think of her as totally insignificant. So, she put on her gray silk gown and her cherry-colored ribbon with as much care as if she were the one getting married, not forgetting the pair of round pearl earrings that Sir Christopher had told Lady Cheverel to give her because Tina’s little ears were so pretty.

Quick as she had been, she found Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel in the drawing-room chatting with Mr. Gilfil, and telling him how handsome Miss Assher was, but how entirely unlike her mother—apparently resembling her father only.

Quick as she had been, she found Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel in the living room chatting with Mr. Gilfil, telling him how beautiful Miss Assher was, but how completely different she was from her mother—seemingly only resembling her father.

‘Aha!’ said Sir Christopher, as he turned to look at Caterina, ‘what do you think of this, Maynard? Did you ever see Tina look so pretty before? Why, that little grey gown has been made out of a bit of my lady’s, hasn’t it? It doesn’t take anything much larger than a pocket-handkerchief to dress the little monkey.’

‘Aha!’ said Sir Christopher, turning to look at Caterina, ‘what do you think of this, Maynard? Have you ever seen Tina look this pretty before? That little grey gown was made from a bit of my lady’s, wasn’t it? It doesn’t take anything bigger than a pocket-handkerchief to dress the little monkey.’

Lady Cheverel, too, serenely radiant in the assurance a single glance had given her of Lady Assher’s inferiority, smiled approval, and Caterina was in one of those moods of self possession and indifference which come as the ebb-tide between the struggles of passion. She retired to the piano, and busied herself with arranging her music, not at all insensible to the pleasure of being looked at with admiration the while, and thinking that, the next time the door opened, Captain Wybrow would enter, and she would speak to him quite cheerfully. But when she heard him come in, and the scent of roses floated towards her, her heart gave one great leap. She knew nothing till he was pressing her hand, and saying, in the old easy way, ‘Well, Caterina, how do you do? You look quite blooming.’

Lady Cheverel, confidently glowing with the knowledge she had gained from a quick look at Lady Assher’s shortcomings, smiled in approval. Caterina was in one of those moments of calm and indifference that come like the high tide after emotional struggles. She went over to the piano and busied herself with organizing her sheet music, fully aware of the pleasure that came from being admired, while thinking that when the door opened next, Captain Wybrow would come in, and she would chat with him cheerfully. But when she heard him walk in and caught the scent of roses wafting her way, her heart skipped a beat. She didn’t realize anything until he was holding her hand and saying, in that familiar relaxed manner, “Well, Caterina, how are you? You look lovely.”

She felt her cheeks reddening with anger that he could speak and look with such perfect nonchalance. Ah! he was too deeply in love with some one else to remember anything he had felt for her. But the next moment she was conscious of her folly;—‘as if he could show any feeling then!’ This conflict of emotions stretched into a long interval the few moments that elapsed before the door opened again, and her own attention, as well as that of all the rest, was absorbed by the entrance of the two ladies.

She felt her cheeks heating up with anger at how he could talk and look so completely relaxed. Ah! He was too in love with someone else to even remember anything he had felt for her. But just a moment later, she realized how foolish she was;—‘as if he could show any feeling right now!’ This battle of emotions extended into the long moments that passed before the door opened again, and everyone’s attention, including hers, was drawn to the entrance of the two ladies.

The daughter was the more striking, from the contrast she presented to her mother, a round-shouldered, middle-sized woman, who had once had the transient pink-and-white beauty of a blonde, with ill-defined features and early embonpoint. Miss Assher was tall, and gracefully though substantially formed, carrying herself with an air of mingled graciousness and self-confidence; her dark-brown hair, untouched by powder, hanging in bushy curls round her face, and falling in long thick ringlets nearly to her waist. The brilliant carmine tint of her well-rounded cheeks, and the finely-cut outline of her straight nose, produced an impression of splendid beauty, in spite of commonplace brown eyes, a narrow forehead, and thin lips. She was in mourning, and the dead black of her crape dress, relieved here and there by jet ornaments, gave the fullest effect to her complexion, and to the rounded whiteness of her arms, bare from the elbow. The first coup d’œil was dazzling, and as she stood looking down with a gracious smile on Caterina, whom Lady Cheverel was presenting to her, the poor little thing seemed to herself to feel, for the first time, all the folly of her former dream.

The daughter stood out more because of the contrast with her mother, who was a round-shouldered, average-sized woman that once had a fleeting pink-and-white beauty as a blonde, with vague features and a bit of extra weight. Miss Assher was tall, elegantly yet solidly built, carrying herself with a blend of graciousness and confidence; her dark brown hair, free of powder, hung in fluffy curls around her face and fell in long, thick ringlets almost to her waist. The bright carmine color of her well-rounded cheeks and the finely drawn shape of her straight nose created an impression of stunning beauty, despite her ordinary brown eyes, narrow forehead, and thin lips. She was in mourning, and the deep black of her crape dress, accented here and there by jet jewelry, highlighted her complexion and the smooth whiteness of her arms, which were bare up to the elbows. The initial impression was stunning, and as she looked down with a gracious smile at Caterina, whom Lady Cheverel was introducing to her, the poor girl felt, for the first time, the full weight of her past dreams.

‘We are enchanted with your place, Sir Christopher,’ said Lady Assher, with a feeble kind of pompousness, which she seemed to be copying from some one else: ‘I’m sure your nephew must have thought Farleigh wretchedly out of order. Poor Sir John was so very careless about keeping up the house and grounds. I often talked to him about it, but he said, “Pooh pooh! as long as my friends find a good dinner and a good bottle of wine, they won’t care about my ceilings being rather smoky.” He was so very hospitable, was Sir John.’

‘We absolutely love your place, Sir Christopher,’ said Lady Assher, attempting a sort of pompousness that seemed copied from someone else. ‘I’m sure your nephew thought Farleigh was in terrible shape. Poor Sir John was so careless about maintaining the house and grounds. I often brought it up with him, but he said, “Oh please! As long as my friends enjoy a good dinner and a nice bottle of wine, they won’t care if my ceilings are a bit smoky.” Sir John was incredibly hospitable.’

‘I think the view of the house from the park, just after we passed the bridge, particularly fine,’ said Miss Assher, interposing rather eagerly, as if she feared her mother might be making infelicitous speeches, ‘and the pleasure of the first glimpse was all the greater because Anthony would describe nothing to us beforehand. He would not spoil our first impressions by raising false ideas. I long to go over the house, Sir Christopher, and learn the history of all your architectural designs, which Anthony says have cost you so much time and study.’

‘I think the view of the house from the park, just after we crossed the bridge, is particularly beautiful,’ said Miss Assher, interjecting eagerly, as if she worried her mother might say something inappropriate. ‘And the thrill of seeing it for the first time was even better because Anthony wouldn’t tell us anything beforehand. He didn’t want to ruin our first impressions with misleading ideas. I can’t wait to explore the house, Sir Christopher, and learn about the history of all your architectural designs, which Anthony says have taken you so much time and effort.’

‘Take care how you set an old man talking about the past, my dear,’ said the Baronet; ‘I hope we shall find something pleasanter for you to do than turning over my old plans and pictures. Our friend Mr. Gilfil here has found a beautiful mare for you and you can scour the country to your heart’s content. Anthony has sent us word what a horsewoman you are.’

‘Be careful how you get an old man reminiscing, my dear,’ said the Baronet; ‘I hope we can find something more enjoyable for you to do than going through my old plans and pictures. Our friend Mr. Gilfil has found a lovely mare for you, and you can explore the countryside as much as you want. Anthony has informed us about what a great horsewoman you are.’

Miss Assher turned to Mr. Gilfil with her most beaming smile, and expressed her thanks with the elaborate graciousness of a person who means to be thought charming, and is sure of success.

Miss Assher turned to Mr. Gilfil with her brightest smile and thanked him with the kind of elaborate graciousness that someone uses when they want to be seen as charming and are confident they'll succeed.

‘Pray do not thank me,’ said Mr. Gilfil, ‘till you have tried the mare. She has been ridden by Lady Sara Linter for the last two years; but one lady’s taste may not be like another’s in horses, any more than in other matters.’

‘Please don’t thank me,’ said Mr. Gilfil, ‘until you’ve tried the mare. She’s been ridden by Lady Sara Linter for the past two years, but one lady's preference in horses may not be the same as another's, just like with other things.’

While this conversation was passing, Captain Wybrow was leaning against the mantelpiece, contenting himself with responding from under his indolent eyelids to the glances Miss Assher was constantly directing towards him as she spoke. ‘She is very much in love with him,’ thought Caterina. But she was relieved that Anthony remained passive in his attentions. She thought, too, that he was looking paler and more languid than usual. ‘If he didn’t love her very much—if he sometimes thought of the past with regret, I think I could bear it all, and be glad to see Sir Christopher made happy.’

While this conversation was happening, Captain Wybrow was leaning against the mantelpiece, casually responding to the looks Miss Assher kept sending his way as she spoke. ‘She’s really into him,’ thought Caterina. But she felt relieved that Anthony seemed indifferent in his attention. She also noticed that he appeared paler and more tired than usual. ‘If he didn’t care about her too much—if he occasionally thought about the past with regret, I think I could handle it all and be happy to see Sir Christopher find happiness.’

During dinner there was a little incident which confirmed these thoughts. When the sweets were on the table, there was a mould of jelly just opposite Captain Wybrow, and being inclined to take some himself, he first invited Miss Assher, who coloured, and said, in rather a sharper key than usual, ‘Have you not learned by this time that I never take jelly?’

During dinner, a small incident confirmed these thoughts. When the desserts were on the table, there was a mold of jelly right across from Captain Wybrow. Wanting some for himself, he first asked Miss Assher, who blushed and replied, a bit more curtly than usual, "Haven't you figured out by now that I never eat jelly?"

‘Don’t you?’ said Captain Wybrow, whose perceptions were not acute enough for him to notice the difference of a semitone. ‘I should have thought you were fond of it. There was always some on the table at Farleigh, I think.’

“Don’t you?” said Captain Wybrow, whose perceptions weren’t sharp enough for him to notice the difference of a semitone. “I would have thought you liked it. There was always some on the table at Farleigh, I think.”

‘You don’t seem to take much interest in my likes and dislikes.’

‘You don’t seem to care much about what I like and dislike.’

‘I’m too much possessed by the happy thought that you like me,’ was the ex officio reply, in silvery tones.

‘I’m really taken by the happy thought that you like me,’ was the ex officio reply, in a bright tone.

This little episode was unnoticed by every one but Caterina. Sir Christopher was listening with polite attention to Lady Assher’s history of her last man-cook, who was first-rate at gravies, and for that reason pleased Sir John—he was so particular about his gravies, was Sir John: and so they kept the man six years in spite of his bad pastry. Lady Cheverel and Mr. Gilfil were smiling at Rupert the bloodhound, who had pushed his great head under his master’s arm, and was taking a survey of the dishes, after snuffing at the contents of the Baronet’s plate.

This little episode went unnoticed by everyone except Caterina. Sir Christopher was listening attentively to Lady Assher as she recounted the story of her last cook, who was excellent at making gravies, and that made Sir John happy—he was quite picky about his gravies, Sir John was. So, they kept the cook for six years, despite his terrible pastry. Lady Cheverel and Mr. Gilfil were smiling at Rupert the bloodhound, who had shoved his big head under his master’s arm and was checking out the dishes after sniffing the contents of the Baronet’s plate.

When the ladies were in the drawing-room again, Lady Assher was soon deep in a statement to Lady Cheverel of her views about burying people in woollen.

When the women were back in the living room, Lady Assher quickly dove into a discussion with Lady Cheverel about her thoughts on burying people in wool.

‘To be sure, you must have a woollen dress, because it’s the law, you know; but that need hinder no one from putting linen underneath. I always used to say, “If Sir John died to-morrow, I would bury him in his shirt;” and I did. And let me advise you to do so by Sir Christopher. You never saw Sir John, Lady Cheverel. He was a large tall man, with a nose just like Beatrice, and so very particular about his shirts.’

‘Sure, you need to wear a wool dress because it's the law, you know; but that shouldn't stop anyone from wearing linen underneath. I always used to say, “If Sir John died tomorrow, I'd bury him in his shirt;” and I did. And let me suggest you do the same for Sir Christopher. You never saw Sir John, Lady Cheverel. He was a big tall guy, with a nose just like Beatrice, and he was very particular about his shirts.’

Miss Assher, meanwhile, had seated herself by Caterina, and, with that smiling affability which seems to say, ‘I am really not at all proud, though you might expect it of me,’ said,—‘Anthony tells me you sing so very beautifully. I hope we shall hear you this evening.’

Miss Assher, meanwhile, had taken a seat next to Caterina and, with a warm smile that seemed to say, ‘I’m not at all full of myself, even though you might think I am,’ said, “Anthony tells me you sing so beautifully. I hope we get to hear you this evening.”

‘O yes,’ said Caterina, quietly, without smiling; ‘I always sing when I am wanted to sing.’

‘Oh yes,’ Caterina said quietly, without smiling, ‘I always sing when I'm expected to sing.’

‘I envy you such a charming talent. Do you know, I have no ear; I cannot hum the smallest tune, and I delight in music so. Is it not unfortunate? But I shall have quite a treat while I am here; Captain Wybrow says you will give us some music every day.’

‘I envy you such a lovely talent. Do you know, I have no sense of pitch; I can’t hum even the smallest tune, and I enjoy music so much. Isn’t that unfortunate? But I’m going to have a great time while I’m here; Captain Wybrow says you’ll play us some music every day.’

‘I should have thought you wouldn’t care about music if you had no ear,’ said Caterina, becoming epigrammatic by force of grave simplicity.

"I figured you wouldn't care about music if you couldn't hear," said Caterina, making a witty remark through her serious straightforwardness.

‘O, I assure you, I doat on it; and Anthony is so fond of it; it would be so delightful if I could play and sing to him; though he says he likes me best not to sing, because it doesn’t belong to his idea of me. What style of music do you like best?’

‘Oh, I promise you, I love it; and Anthony is really into it; it would be so wonderful if I could play and sing for him; although he says he prefers it when I don’t sing, because it doesn’t fit his idea of me. What type of music do you like the most?’

‘I don’t know. I like all beautiful music.’

‘I don’t know. I like all beautiful music.’

‘And are you as fond of riding as of music?’

‘Are you as much into riding as you are into music?’

‘No; I never ride. I think I should be very frightened.’

‘No; I never ride. I think I would be really scared.’

‘O no! indeed you would not, after a little practice. I have never been in the least timid. I think Anthony is more afraid for me than I am for myself; and since I have been riding with him, I have been obliged to be more careful, because he is so nervous about me.’

‘Oh no! You definitely wouldn’t, after a bit of practice. I’ve never been the slightest bit timid. I think Anthony is more worried for me than I am for myself; and since I’ve been riding with him, I’ve had to be more careful because he’s so anxious about me.’

Caterina made no reply; but she said to herself, ‘I wish she would go away and not talk to me. She only wants me to admire her good-nature, and to talk about Anthony.’

Caterina didn’t say anything back; but she thought to herself, ‘I wish she would just leave me alone and stop talking to me. She only wants me to praise her kindness and to discuss Anthony.’

Miss Assher was thinking at the same time, ‘This Miss Sarti seems a stupid little thing. Those musical people often are. But she is prettier than I expected; Anthony said she was not pretty.’

Miss Assher was thinking at the same time, ‘This Miss Sarti seems like a silly little thing. Those musical people often are. But she's prettier than I expected; Anthony said she wasn't pretty.’

Happily at this moment Lady Assher called her daughter’s attention to the embroidered cushions, and Miss Assher, walking to the opposite sofa, was soon in conversation with Lady Cheverel about tapestry and embroidery in general, while her mother, feeling herself superseded there, came and placed herself beside Caterina.

Happily at that moment, Lady Assher pointed out the embroidered cushions to her daughter, and Miss Assher, walking to the other sofa, quickly started chatting with Lady Cheverel about tapestry and embroidery in general, while her mother, feeling out of place, came over and sat down next to Caterina.

‘I hear you are the most beautiful singer,’ was of course the opening remark. ‘All Italians sing so beautifully. I travelled in Italy with Sir John when we were first married, and we went to Venice, where they go about in gondolas, you know. You don’t wear powder, I see. No more will Beatrice; though many people think her curls would look all the better for powder. She has so much hair, hasn’t she? Our last maid dressed it much better than this; but, do you know, she wore Beatrice’s stockings before they went to the wash, and we couldn’t keep her after that, could we?’

"I hear you're the most beautiful singer," was of course the opening remark. "All Italians sing beautifully. I traveled in Italy with Sir John when we first got married, and we went to Venice, where they paddle around in gondolas, you know. I see you don’t wear makeup. Neither will Beatrice; though a lot of people think her curls would look even better with some product. She has so much hair, doesn’t she? Our last maid styled it much better than this; but you know, she wore Beatrice’s stockings before they went to the wash, and we couldn’t keep her after that, could we?"

Caterina, accepting the question as a mere bit of rhetorical effect, thought it superfluous to reply, till Lady Assher repeated, ‘Could we, now?’ as if Tina’s sanction were essential to her repose of mind. After a faint ‘No’, she went on.

Caterina, taking the question as just a rhetorical flourish, felt it unnecessary to respond, until Lady Assher insisted, 'Could we, now?' as if Tina's approval was crucial for her peace of mind. After a weak 'No', she continued.

‘Maids are so very troublesome, and Beatrice is so particular, you can’t imagine. I often say to her, “My dear, you can’t have perfection.” That very gown she has on—to be sure, it fits her beautifully now—but it has been unmade and made up again twice. But she is like poor Sir John—he was so very particular about his own things, was Sir John. Is Lady Cheverel particular?’

‘Maids can be such a hassle, and Beatrice is so fussy, you wouldn’t believe it. I often tell her, “Darling, you can’t expect perfection.” That dress she’s wearing—sure, it looks great on her now—but it’s been taken apart and reassembled twice. But she’s just like poor Sir John—he was extremely particular about his things, that Sir John. Is Lady Cheverel particular?’

‘Rather. But Mrs. Sharp has been her maid twenty years.’

‘Actually. But Mrs. Sharp has been her housekeeper for twenty years.’

‘I wish there was any chance of our keeping Griffin twenty years. But I am afraid we shall have to part with her because her health is so delicate; and she is so obstinate, she will not take bitters as I want her. You look delicate, now. Let me recommend you to take camomile tea in a morning, fasting. Beatrice is so strong and healthy, she never takes any medicine; but if I had had twenty girls, and they had been delicate, I should have given them all camomile tea. It strengthens the constitution beyond anything. Now, will you promise me to take camomile tea?’

‘I wish we had a chance to keep Griffin for twenty years. But I’m afraid we’ll have to let her go because her health is so fragile; and she’s so stubborn, she won't take the bitters I want her to. You look delicate now. Let me suggest you drink chamomile tea in the morning, on an empty stomach. Beatrice is so strong and healthy, she never takes any medicine; but if I had had twenty girls, and they were all delicate, I would have given them all chamomile tea. It really strengthens the constitution like nothing else. Now, will you promise me that you’ll drink chamomile tea?’

‘Thank you: I’m not at all ill,’ said Caterina. ‘I’ve always been pale and thin.’

‘Thank you: I'm not sick at all,’ Caterina said. ‘I've always been pale and thin.’

Lady Assher was sure camomile tea would make all the difference in the world—Caterina must see if it wouldn’t—and then went dribbling on like a leaky shower-bath, until the early entrance of the gentlemen created a diversion, and she fastened on Sir Christopher, who probably began to think that, for poetical purposes, it would be better not to meet one’s first love again, after a lapse of forty years.

Lady Assher was convinced that chamomile tea would change everything—Caterina needed to check if that was true—and then she kept rambling on like a leaky faucet until the early arrival of the gentlemen interrupted her. She turned her attention to Sir Christopher, who was probably starting to think that, for the sake of romance, it might be best not to reconnect with one’s first love after forty years.

Captain Wybrow, of course, joined his aunt and Miss Assher, and Mr. Gilfil tried to relieve Caterina from the awkwardness of sitting aloof and dumb, by telling her how a friend of his had broken his arm and staked his horse that morning, not at all appearing to heed that she hardly listened, and was looking towards the other side of the room. One of the tortures of jealousy is, that it can never turn its eyes away from the thing that pains it.

Captain Wybrow, of course, joined his aunt and Miss Assher, and Mr. Gilfil tried to help Caterina feel less awkward sitting apart and silent by sharing a story about a friend of his who had broken his arm and bet on his horse that morning, not noticing at all that she barely listened and was looking towards the other side of the room. One of the tortures of jealousy is that it can never look away from what causes it pain.

By-and-by every one felt the need of a relief from chit-chat—Sir Christopher perhaps the most of all—and it was he who made the acceptable proposition—

By and by, everyone felt the need for a break from small talk—Sir Christopher probably felt it the most—and it was he who made the welcome suggestion—

‘Come, Tina, are we to have no music to-night before we sit down to cards? Your ladyship plays at cards, I think?’ he added, recollecting himself, and turning to Lady Assher.

‘Come on, Tina, are we not having any music tonight before we sit down to play cards? Your ladyship plays cards, right?’ he added, remembering himself and turning to Lady Assher.

‘O yes! Poor dear Sir John would have a whist-table every night.’

‘Oh yes! Poor dear Sir John would host a whist game every night.’

Caterina sat down to the harpsichord at once, and had no sooner begun to sing than she perceived with delight that Captain Wybrow was gliding towards the harpsichord, and soon standing in the old place. This consciousness gave fresh strength to her voice; and when she noticed that Miss Assher presently followed him with that air of ostentatious admiration which belongs to the absence of real enjoyment, her closing bravura was none the worse for being animated by a little triumphant contempt.

Caterina sat down at the harpsichord right away, and as soon as she started singing, she was thrilled to see Captain Wybrow moving toward her, eventually taking his usual spot. This awareness boosted her confidence; and when she noticed Miss Assher trailing behind him with that showy admiration that signals a lack of genuine enjoyment, her final bravura was only enhanced by a hint of triumphant disdain.

‘Why, you are in better voice than ever, Caterina,’ said Captain Wybrow, when she had ended. ‘This is rather different from Miss Hibbert’s small piping that we used to be glad of at Farleigh, is it not, Beatrice?’

‘Wow, you’re in better voice than ever, Caterina,’ said Captain Wybrow, after she finished. ‘This is quite different from Miss Hibbert’s little singing that we used to be happy to hear at Farleigh, isn’t it, Beatrice?’

‘Indeed it is. You are a most enviable creature, Miss Sarti—Caterina—may I not call you Caterina? for I have heard Anthony speak of you so often, I seem to know you quite well. You will let me call you Caterina?’

‘Definitely. You are a truly admirable person, Miss Sarti—Caterina—may I call you Caterina? Since I’ve heard Anthony talk about you so much, I feel like I know you quite well. Will you let me call you Caterina?’

‘O yes, every one calls me Caterina, only when they call me Tina.’

‘Oh yes, everyone calls me Caterina, but they only call me Tina.’

‘Come, come, more singing, more singing, little monkey,’ Sir Christopher called out from the other side of the room. ‘We have not had half enough yet.’

‘Come on, come on, more singing, more singing, little monkey,’ Sir Christopher called out from across the room. ‘We haven’t had nearly enough yet.’

Caterina was ready enough to obey, for while she was singing she was queen of the room, and Miss Assher was reduced to grimacing admiration. Alas! you see what jealousy was doing in this poor young soul. Caterina, who had passed her life as a little unobtrusive singing-bird, nestling so fondly under the wings that were outstretched for her, her heart beating only to the peaceful rhythm of love, or fluttering with some easily stifled fear, had begun to know the fierce palpitations of triumph and hatred.

Caterina was eager to comply, as when she sang, she reigned over the room, while Miss Assher was left to grimace in admiration. Unfortunately, this shows how jealousy was impacting the poor young woman. Caterina, who had spent her life as a quiet little songbird, snugly tucked under the wings that were offered to her, with her heart only beating to the calm rhythm of love or fluttering with minor, easily suppressed fears, had started to experience the intense feelings of triumph and hatred.

When the singing was over, Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel sat down to whist with Lady Assher and Mr. Gilfil, and Caterina placed herself at the Baronet’s elbow, as if to watch the game, that she might not appear to thrust herself on the pair of lovers. At first she was glowing with her little triumph, and felt the strength of pride; but her eye would steal to the opposite side of the fireplace, where Captain Wybrow had seated himself close to Miss Assher, and was leaning with his arm over the back of the chair, in the most lover-like position. Caterina began to feel a choking sensation. She could see, almost without looking, that he was taking up her arm to examine her bracelet; their heads were bending close together, her curls touching his cheek—now he was putting his lips to her hand. Caterina felt her cheeks burn—she could sit no longer. She got up, pretended to be gliding about in search of something, and at length slipped out of the room.

When the singing ended, Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel sat down to play whist with Lady Assher and Mr. Gilfil, while Caterina positioned herself close to the Baronet, seemingly to observe the game and not intrude on the couple. Initially, she felt a thrill of pride from her small victory; however, her gaze kept drifting to the other side of the fireplace, where Captain Wybrow had seated himself next to Miss Assher, leaning casually with his arm draped over the back of her chair, in a very romantic way. Caterina began to feel a lump in her throat. She could almost see without looking that he was lifting her arm to admire her bracelet; their heads were tilted toward each other, her curls brushing against his cheek—now he was kissing her hand. Caterina felt her face flush—she could no longer sit still. She stood up, pretended to search for something, and eventually slipped out of the room.

Outside, she took a candle, and, hurrying along the passages and up the stairs to her own room, locked the door.

Outside, she grabbed a candle and rushed through the halls and up the stairs to her room, locking the door behind her.

‘O, I cannot bear it, I cannot bear it!’ the poor thing burst out aloud, clasping her little fingers, and pressing them back against her forehead, as if she wanted to break them.

‘Oh, I can't stand it, I can't stand it!’ the poor thing exclaimed, clenching her little fingers and pressing them against her forehead, as if she wanted to break them.

Then she walked hurriedly up and down the room.

Then she paced back and forth in the room.

‘And this must go on for days and days, and I must see it.’

‘And this has to continue for days and days, and I need to witness it.’

She looked about nervously for something to clutch. There was a muslin kerchief lying on the table; she took it up and tore it into shreds as she walked up and down, and then pressed it into hard balls in her hand.

She looked around anxiously for something to hold onto. There was a muslin handkerchief on the table; she picked it up and tore it into pieces as she paced back and forth, then crumpled it into tight balls in her hand.

‘And Anthony,’ she thought, ‘he can do this without caring for what I feel. O, he can forget everything: how he used to say he loved me—how he used to take my hand in his as we walked—how he used to stand near me in the evenings for the sake of looking into my eyes.’

‘And Anthony,’ she thought, ‘he can do this without worrying about how I feel. Oh, he can forget everything: how he used to say he loved me—how he used to take my hand in his as we walked—how he used to stand close to me in the evenings just to look into my eyes.’

‘Oh, it is cruel, it is cruel!’ she burst out again aloud, as all those love-moments in the past returned upon her. Then the tears gushed forth, she threw herself on her knees by the bed, and sobbed bitterly.

‘Oh, it’s so cruel, it’s so cruel!’ she exclaimed again, as all those moments of love from the past flooded back to her. Then the tears streamed down, she dropped to her knees by the bed, and sobbed heartbrokenly.

She did not know how long she had been there, till she was startled by the prayer-bell; when, thinking Lady Cheverel might perhaps send some one to inquire after her, she rose, and began hastily to undress, that there might be no possibility of her going down again. She had hardly unfastened her hair, and thrown a loose gown about her, before there was a knock at the door, and Mrs. Sharp’s voice said—‘Miss Tina, my lady wants to know if you’re ill.’

She wasn’t sure how long she had been there until she was startled by the prayer bell. Thinking that Lady Cheverel might send someone to check on her, she got up and quickly started to undress so there would be no chance of her going back down. She had barely taken her hair down and put on a loose gown when there was a knock at the door, and Mrs. Sharp's voice called out, "Miss Tina, my lady wants to know if you’re sick."

Caterina opened the door and said, ‘Thank you, dear Mrs. Sharp; I have a bad headache; please tell my lady I felt it come on after singing.’

Caterina opened the door and said, ‘Thank you, dear Mrs. Sharp; I have a bad headache; please tell my lady I felt it come on after singing.’

‘Then, goodness me! why aren’t you in bed, istid o’ standing shivering there, fit to catch your death? Come, let me fasten up your hair and tuck you up warm.’

‘Then, oh my goodness! why aren’t you in bed, instead of standing there shivering, about to catch your death? Come on, let me fix your hair and make sure you’re warm.’

‘O no, thank you; I shall really be in bed very soon. Good-night, dear Sharpy; don’t scold; I will be good, and get into bed.’

‘Oh no, thank you; I’ll really be in bed very soon. Good night, dear Sharpy; don’t scold; I’ll be good and get into bed.’

Caterina kissed her old friend coaxingly, but Mrs. Sharp was not to be ‘come over’ in that way, and insisted on seeing her former charge in bed, taking away the candle which the poor child had wanted to keep as a companion. But it was impossible to lie there long with that beating heart; and the little white figure was soon out of bed again, seeking relief in the very sense of chill and uncomfort. It was light enough for her to see about her room, for the moon, nearly at full, was riding high in the heavens among scattered hurrying clouds. Caterina drew aside the window-curtain; and, sitting with her forehead pressed against the cold pane, looked out on the wide stretch of park and lawn.

Caterina kissed her old friend sweetly, but Mrs. Sharp wasn’t going to be tricked like that and insisted on seeing her former charge in bed, taking away the candle that the poor child had wanted to keep as a companion. But it was impossible to lie there long with that racing heart; and the little white figure was soon out of bed again, looking for relief in the very feeling of chill and discomfort. It was light enough for her to see around her room, as the moon, nearly full, was high in the sky among scattered clouds moving quickly. Caterina pulled aside the window curtain, and, pressing her forehead against the cold glass, gazed out at the wide expanse of park and lawn.

How dreary the moonlight is! robbed of all its tenderness and repose by the hard driving wind. The trees are harassed by that tossing motion, when they would like to be at rest; the shivering grass makes her quake with sympathetic cold; and the willows by the pool, bent low and white under that invisible harshness, seem agitated and helpless like herself. But she loves the scene the better for its sadness: there is some pity in it. It is not like that hard unfeeling happiness of lovers, flaunting in the eyes of misery.

How gloomy the moonlight is! stripped of all its softness and calm by the fierce wind. The trees are shaken by that restless movement when all they want is to be still; the trembling grass makes her shiver with shared cold; and the willows by the pond, bowed low and pale under that unseen harshness, look disturbed and powerless like her. But she finds the scene more appealing because of its sadness: there's a sense of compassion in it. It’s not like that cold, uncaring happiness of lovers, showing off in the face of suffering.

She set her teeth tight against the window-frame, and the tears fell thick and fast. She was so thankful she could cry, for the mad passion she had felt when her eyes were dry frightened her. If that dreadful feeling were to come on when Lady Cheverel was present, she should never be able to contain herself.

She pressed her teeth against the window frame, and tears flowed quickly and heavily. She was so grateful she could cry, because the intense emotions she had felt when her eyes were dry scared her. If that terrible feeling hit her while Lady Cheverel was around, she'd never be able to hold it together.

Then there was Sir Christopher—so good to her—so happy about Anthony’s marriage; and all the while she had these wicked feelings.

Then there was Sir Christopher—so kind to her—so excited about Anthony’s wedding; and all the while she had these sinful thoughts.

‘O, I cannot help it, I cannot help it!’ she said in a loud whisper between her sobs. ‘O God, have pity upon me!’

‘Oh, I can’t help it, I can’t help it!’ she said in a loud whisper between her sobs. ‘Oh God, have mercy on me!’

In this way Tina wore out the long hours of the windy moonlight, till at last, with weary aching limbs, she lay down in bed again, and slept from mere exhaustion.

In this way, Tina passed the long hours of the windy moonlight until finally, with tired and achy limbs, she lay down in bed again and fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

While this poor little heart was being bruised with a weight too heavy for it, Nature was holding on her calm inexorable way, in unmoved and terrible beauty. The stars were rushing in their eternal courses; the tides swelled to the level of the last expectant weed; the sun was making brilliant day to busy nations on the other side of the swift earth. The stream of human thought and deed was hurrying and broadening onward. The astronomer was at his telescope; the great ships were labouring over the waves; the toiling eagerness of commerce, the fierce spirit of revolution, were only ebbing in brief rest; and sleepless statesmen were dreading the possible crisis of the morrow. What were our little Tina and her trouble in this mighty torrent, rushing from one awful unknown to another? Lighter than the smallest centre of quivering life in the waterdrop, hidden and uncared for as the pulse of anguish in the breast of the tiniest bird that has fluttered down to its nest with the long-sought food, and has found the nest torn and empty.

While this poor little heart was being crushed under a weight too heavy for it, Nature continued on her calm, relentless path, displaying a stunning and alarming beauty. The stars were moving in their eternal patterns; the tides rose to the level of the last hopeful seaweed; the sun was creating a bright day for busy nations on the other side of the fast-moving Earth. The flow of human thought and action was rushing and expanding forward. The astronomer was at his telescope; the massive ships were struggling over the waves; the eager bustle of commerce and the fierce spirit of revolution were only pausing for a brief rest; and anxious politicians were worrying about the potential crisis of tomorrow. What were our little Tina and her troubles in this vast torrent, rushing from one terrifying unknown to another? Lighter than the smallest flicker of life in a raindrop, hidden and unnoticed like the wave of sorrow in the breast of the smallest bird that has returned to its nest with the long-sought food, only to find the nest wrecked and empty.

Chapter 6

The next morning, when Caterina was waked from her heavy sleep by Martha bringing in the warm water, the sun was shining, the wind had abated, and those hours of suffering in the night seemed unreal and dreamlike, in spite of weary limbs and aching eyes. She got up and began to dress with a strange feeling of insensibility, as if nothing could make her cry again; and she even felt a sort of longing to be down-stairs in the midst of company, that she might get rid of this benumbed condition by contact.

The next morning, when Martha brought in the warm water and woke Caterina from her deep sleep, the sun was shining, the wind had calmed down, and the hours of suffering from the night felt unreal and dreamlike, despite her tired limbs and aching eyes. She got up and started to get dressed with a strange sense of numbness, as if nothing could make her cry again; she even felt a kind of longing to be downstairs among people, hoping to shake off this numb feeling through their presence.

There are few of us that are not rather ashamed of our sins and follies as we look out on the blessed morning sunlight, which comes to us like a bright-winged angel beckoning us to quit the old path of vanity that stretches its dreary length behind us; and Tina, little as she knew about doctrines and theories, seemed to herself to have been both foolish and wicked yesterday. Today she would try to be good; and when she knelt down to say her short prayer—the very form she had learned by heart when she was ten years old—she added, ‘O God, help me to bear it!’

There are few of us who don’t feel a bit embarrassed by our mistakes and foolishness as we look out at the beautiful morning sunlight, which feels like a bright-winged angel urging us to leave behind the old road of vanity that stretches out drearily behind us. Tina, although she didn't know much about doctrines and theories, felt like she had been both foolish and wrong yesterday. Today, she would try to be better; and when she knelt down to say her short prayer—the same one she had memorized when she was ten years old—she added, ‘O God, help me to bear it!’

That day the prayer seemed to be answered, for after some remarks on her pale looks at breakfast, Caterina passed the morning quietly, Miss Assher and Captain Wybrow being out on a riding excursion. In the evening there was a dinner-party, and after Caterina had sung a little, Lady Cheverel remembering that she was ailing, sent her to bed, where she soon sank into a deep sleep. Body and mind must renew their force to suffer as well as to enjoy.

That day, it felt like the prayer was answered because after some comments about her pale appearance at breakfast, Caterina spent the morning quietly while Miss Assher and Captain Wybrow went out for a ride. In the evening, there was a dinner party, and after Caterina sang a bit, Lady Cheverel, remembering that she wasn’t feeling well, sent her to bed, where she quickly fell into a deep sleep. Both body and mind need to recharge to endure as well as to enjoy.

On the morrow, however, it was rainy, and every one must stay in-doors; so it was resolved that the guests should be taken over the house by Sir Christopher, to hear the story of the architectural alterations, the family portraits, and the family relics. All the party, except Mr. Gilfil, were in the drawing-room when the proposition was made; and when Miss Assher rose to go, she looked towards Captain Wybrow, expecting to see him rise too; but he kept his seat near the fire, turning his eyes towards the newspaper which he had been holding unread in his hand.

On the next day, however, it was rainy, and everyone had to stay indoors; so it was decided that Sir Christopher would take the guests around the house to hear about the architectural changes, the family portraits, and the family heirlooms. Everyone in the group, except Mr. Gilfil, was in the drawing room when the suggestion was made; and when Miss Assher stood up to leave, she looked at Captain Wybrow, expecting him to stand up too; but he remained seated near the fire, directing his gaze towards the newspaper he had been holding unread in his hand.

‘Are you not coming, Anthony?’ said Lady Cheverel, noticing Miss Assher’s look of expectation.

‘Aren't you coming, Anthony?’ said Lady Cheverel, noticing Miss Assher’s look of anticipation.

‘I think not, if you’ll excuse me,’ he answered, rising and opening the door; ‘I feel a little chilled this morning, and I am afraid of the cold rooms and draughts.’

‘I don’t think so, if you don’t mind,’ he said, standing up and opening the door; ‘I feel a bit chilly this morning, and I’m worried about the cold rooms and drafts.’

Miss Assher reddened, but said nothing, and passed on, Lady Cheverel accompanying her.

Miss Assher blushed but said nothing and continued on, with Lady Cheverel walking alongside her.

Caterina was seated at work in the oriel window. It was the first time she and Anthony had been alone together, and she had thought before that he wished to avoid her. But now, surely, he wanted to speak to her—he wanted to say something kind. Presently he rose from his seat near the fire, and placed himself on the ottoman opposite to her.

Caterina was sitting at work in the bay window. It was the first time she and Anthony had been alone together, and she had thought before that he wanted to avoid her. But now, he definitely seemed like he wanted to talk to her—he wanted to say something nice. Soon, he got up from his spot by the fire and sat down on the ottoman across from her.

‘Well, Tina, and how have you been all this long time?’ Both the tone and the words were an offence to her; the tone was so different from the old one, the words were so cold and unmeaning. She answered, with a little bitterness,—‘I think you needn’t ask. It doesn’t make much difference to you.’

‘Well, Tina, how have you been all this time?’ Both the tone and the words felt like an insult to her; the tone was so different from before, and the words were so cold and empty. She replied, with a touch of bitterness, ‘I don’t think you really need to ask. It doesn’t matter much to you.’

‘Is that the kindest thing you have to say to me after my long absence?’

‘Is that the nicest thing you have to say to me after I've been away for so long?’

‘I don’t know why you should expect me to say kind things.’

‘I don’t understand why you would expect me to say nice things.’

Captain Wybrow was silent. He wished very much to avoid allusions to the past or comments on the present. And yet he wished to be well with Caterina. He would have liked to caress her, make her presents, and have her think him very kind to her. But these women are plaguy perverse! There’s no bringing them to look rationally at anything. At last he said, ‘I hoped you would think all the better of me, Tina, for doing as I have done, instead of bearing malice towards me. I hoped you would see that it is the best thing for every one—the best for your happiness too.’

Captain Wybrow was quiet. He really wanted to avoid any references to the past or comments about the present. Yet, he wanted to be on good terms with Caterina. He wished he could be affectionate with her, give her gifts, and have her see him as very kind. But these women are incredibly complicated! There's no getting them to see things rationally. Finally, he said, "I hoped you'd think better of me, Tina, for what I've done, rather than hold a grudge against me. I hoped you'd realize it's the best thing for everyone—the best for your happiness too."

‘O pray don’t make love to Miss Assher for the sake of my happiness,’ answered Tina.

"O please don't romance Miss Assher just for my happiness," replied Tina.

At this moment the door opened, and Miss Assher entered, to fetch her reticule, which lay on the harpsichord. She gave a keen glance at Caterina, whose face was flushed, and saying to Captain Wybrow with a slight sneer, ‘Since you are so chill I wonder you like to sit in the window,’ left the room again immediately.

At that moment, the door opened and Miss Assher walked in to grab her purse, which was on the harpsichord. She shot a quick look at Caterina, whose face was flushed, and said to Captain Wybrow with a slight sneer, “Since you’re so cold, I wonder why you like sitting by the window,” and then left the room right away.

The lover did not appear much discomposed, but sat quiet a little longer, and then, seating himself on the music-stool, drew it near to Caterina, and, taking her hand, said, ‘Come, Tina, look kindly at me, and let us be friends. I shall always be your friend.’

The lover didn’t seem too troubled; he sat still for a bit longer, then moved to the music stool next to Caterina. Taking her hand, he said, “Come on, Tina, look at me kindly, and let’s be friends. I’ll always be your friend.”

‘Thank you,’ said Caterina, drawing away her hand. ‘You are very generous. But pray move away. Miss Assher may come in again.’

‘Thank you,’ Caterina said, pulling her hand back. ‘You’re very generous. But please move aside. Miss Assher might come in again.’

‘Miss Assher be hanged!’ said Anthony, feeling the fascination of old habit returning on him in his proximity to Caterina. He put his arm round her waist, and leaned his cheek down to hers. The lips couldn’t help meeting after that; but the next moment, with heart swelling and tears rising, Caterina burst away from him, and rushed out of the room.

‘Miss Assher be hanged!’ said Anthony, feeling the pull of old habits coming back to him now that he was close to Caterina. He put his arm around her waist and leaned his cheek against hers. Their lips were bound to meet after that; but the next moment, with her heart racing and tears welling up, Caterina pulled away from him and ran out of the room.

Chapter 7

Caterina tore herself from Anthony with the desperate effort of one who has just self-recollection enough left to be conscious that the fumes of charcoal will master his senses unless he bursts a way for himself to the fresh air; but when she reached her own room, she was still too intoxicated with that momentary revival of old emotions, too much agitated by the sudden return of tenderness in her lover, to know whether pain or pleasure predominated. It was as if a miracle had happened in her little world of feeling, and made the future all vague—a dim morning haze of possibilities, instead of the sombre wintry daylight and clear rigid outline of painful certainty.

Caterina pulled away from Anthony with the desperate effort of someone who realizes just enough to know that the fumes of charcoal will overwhelm him unless he finds a way to the fresh air. But when she got to her own room, she was still too intoxicated by that brief revival of old emotions, too agitated by the sudden return of tenderness in her lover, to know whether pain or pleasure was winning out. It was as if a miracle had occurred in her little world of feelings, making the future all unclear—a hazy morning filled with possibilities, instead of the bleak winter light and the sharp, defined outline of painful certainty.

She felt the need of rapid movement. She must walk out in spite of the rain. Happily, there was a thin place in the curtain of clouds which seemed to promise that now, about noon, the day had a mind to clear up. Caterina thought to herself, ‘I will walk to the Mosslands, and carry Mr. Bates the comforter I have made for him, and then Lady Cheverel will not wonder so much at my going out.’ At the hall door she found Rupert, the old bloodhound, stationed on the mat, with the determination that the first person who was sensible enough to take a walk that morning should have the honour of his approbation and society. As he thrust his great black and tawny head under her hand, and wagged his tail with vigorous eloquence, and reached the climax of his welcome by jumping up to lick her face, which was at a convenient licking height for him, Caterina felt quite grateful to the old dog for his friendliness. Animals are such agreeable friends—they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.

She felt the urge to move quickly. She had to go out despite the rain. Luckily, there was a slight break in the clouds that seemed to promise a clearer day around noon. Caterina thought to herself, ‘I’ll walk to the Mosslands and bring Mr. Bates the comforter I made for him, so Lady Cheverel won’t wonder as much about my going out.’ At the front door, she found Rupert, the old bloodhound, waiting on the mat, eager to give his approval to whoever was sensible enough to take a walk that morning. As he nudged his large black and tan head under her hand and wagged his tail enthusiastically, eventually jumping up to lick her face, which was just the right height for him, Caterina felt grateful for the old dog’s affection. Animals are such wonderful companions—they don’t ask questions, and they don’t judge.

The ‘Mosslands’ was a remote part of the grounds, encircled by the little stream issuing from the pool; and certainly, for a wet day, Caterina could hardly have chosen a less suitable walk, for though the rain was abating, and presently ceased altogether, there was still a smart shower falling from the trees which arched over the greater part of her way. But she found just the desired relief from her feverish excitement in labouring along the wet paths with an umbrella that made her arm ache. This amount of exertion was to her tiny body what a day’s hunting often was to Mr. Gilfil, who at times had his fits of jealousy and sadness to get rid of, and wisely had recourse to nature’s innocent opium—fatigue.

The ‘Mosslands’ was a secluded part of the grounds, surrounded by a small stream that came from the pool; and honestly, for a rainy day, Caterina couldn’t have picked a worse walk, because although the rain was letting up and eventually stopped completely, there was still a steady shower falling from the trees that covered most of her path. But she found the perfect way to ease her restless excitement by trudging along the damp paths with an umbrella that made her arm sore. This level of effort was to her small frame what a day of hunting often was to Mr. Gilfil, who occasionally had his moments of jealousy and sadness to shake off, and wisely turned to nature’s harmless painkiller—fatigue.

When Caterina reached the pretty arched wooden bridge which formed the only entrance to the Mosslands for any but webbed feet, the sun had mastered the clouds, and was shining through the boughs of the tall elms that made a deep nest for the gardener’s cottage—turning the raindrops into diamonds, and inviting the nasturtium flowers creeping over the porch and low-thatched roof to lift up their flame-coloured heads once more. The rooks were cawing with many-voiced monotony, apparently—by a remarkable approximation to human intelligence—finding great conversational resources in the change of weather. The mossy turf, studded with the broad blades of marsh-loving plants, told that Mr. Bates’s nest was rather damp in the best of weather; but he was of opinion that a little external moisture would hurt no man who was not perversely neglectful of that obvious and providential antidote, rum-and-water.

When Caterina reached the charming arched wooden bridge, which was the only entrance to the Mosslands for anyone without webbed feet, the sun had conquered the clouds and was shining through the branches of the tall elms that created a cozy nook for the gardener’s cottage—turning the raindrops into diamonds and encouraging the nasturtium flowers creeping over the porch and low-thatched roof to lift their vibrant heads once again. The rooks were cawing in a monotonous chorus, seemingly—by an impressive mimicry of human intelligence—finding plenty to talk about with the changing weather. The mossy ground, dotted with the wide blades of marsh-loving plants, suggested that Mr. Bates’s nest tended to be a bit damp even in the best weather; however, he believed that a little external moisture wouldn’t harm anyone who wasn’t foolishly neglecting the obvious and helpful remedy, rum-and-water.

Caterina loved this nest. Every object in it, every sound that haunted it, had been familiar to her from the days when she had been carried thither on Mr. Bates’s arm, making little cawing noises to imitate the rooks, clapping her hands at the green frogs leaping in the moist grass, and fixing grave eyes on the gardener’s fowls cluck-clucking under their pens. And now the spot looked prettier to her than ever; it was so out of the way of Miss Assher, with her brilliant beauty, and personal claims, and small civil remarks. She thought Mr. Bates would not be come into his dinner yet, so she would sit down and wait for him.

Caterina loved this nest. Every object in it, every sound that lingered there, had been familiar to her since the days when Mr. Bates carried her there, making little cawing noises to mimic the rooks, clapping her hands at the green frogs jumping in the wet grass, and watching seriously as the gardener’s chickens clucked under their pens. Now, the place looked more beautiful to her than ever; it was so far removed from Miss Assher, with her stunning looks, personal charms, and polite comments. She thought Mr. Bates wouldn't be back for dinner yet, so she decided to sit down and wait for him.

But she was mistaken. Mr. Bates was seated in his arm-chair, with his pocket-handkerchief thrown over his face, as the most eligible mode of passing away those superfluous hours between meals when the weather drives a man in-doors. Roused by the furious barking of his chained bulldog, he descried his little favourite approaching, and forthwith presented himself at the doorway, looking disproportionately tall compared with the height of his cottage. The bulldog, meanwhile, unbent from the severity of his official demeanour, and commenced a friendly interchange of ideas with Rupert.

But she was wrong. Mr. Bates was sitting in his armchair, with his pocket handkerchief covering his face, which was the best way to pass the extra time between meals when the weather kept someone indoors. Awoken by the loud barking of his chained bulldog, he noticed his little favorite coming and immediately appeared at the doorway, looking much taller than the height of his cottage. The bulldog, meanwhile, relaxed from his serious guard duty and started a friendly conversation with Rupert.

Mr. Bates’s hair was now grey, but his frame was none the less stalwart, and his face looked all the redder, making an artistic contrast with the deep blue of his cotton neckerchief, and of his linen apron twisted into a girdle round his waist.

Mr. Bates's hair was now gray, but his build was still sturdy, and his face appeared even redder, creating an artistic contrast with the deep blue of his cotton neckerchief and his linen apron tied around his waist.

‘Why, dang my boottons, Miss Tiny,’ he exclaimed, ‘hoo coom ye to coom oot dabblin’ your faet laike a little Muscovy duck, sich a day as this? Not but what ai’m delaighted to sae ye. Here Hesther,’ he called to his old humpbacked housekeeper, ‘tek the young ledy’s oombrella an’ spread it oot to dray. Coom, coom in, Miss Tiny, an’ set ye doon by the faire an’ dray yer faet, an’ hev summat warm to kape ye from ketchin’ coold.’

‘Well, dang my buttons, Miss Tiny,’ he exclaimed, ‘how come you to be out splashing your feet like a little Muscovy duck on a day like this? Not that I’m not delighted to see you. Here, Hesther,’ he called to his old humpbacked housekeeper, ‘take the young lady’s umbrella and spread it out to dry. Come on in, Miss Tiny, and sit down by the fire and dry your feet, and have something warm to keep you from catching a cold.’

Mr. Bates led the way, stooping under the doorplaces, into his small sitting-room, and, shaking the patchwork cushion in his arm-chair, moved it to within a good roasting distance of the blazing fire.

Mr. Bates led the way, ducking under the doorways, into his small living room, and, shaking the patchwork cushion in his armchair, moved it closer to the warm fire.

‘Thank you, uncle Bates’ (Caterina kept up her childish epithets for her friends, and this was one of them); ‘not quite so close to the fire, for I am warm with walking.’

‘Thank you, Uncle Bates’ (Caterina kept her playful nicknames for her friends, and this was one of them); ‘not too close to the fire, because I’m warm from walking.’

‘Eh, but yer shoes are faine an’ wet, an’ ye must put up yer faet on the fender. Rare big faet, baint ’em?—aboot the saize of a good big spoon. I woonder ye can mek a shift to stan’ on ’em. Now, what’ll ye hev to warm yer insaide?—a drop o’ hot elder wain, now?’

‘Hey, but your shoes are nice and wet, and you need to rest your feet on the fender. Pretty big feet, aren’t they?—about the size of a good big spoon. I wonder how you manage to stand on them. Now, what do you want to warm you up inside?—a bit of hot elder wine, maybe?’

‘No, not anything to drink, thank you; it isn’t very long since breakfast,’ said Caterina, drawing out the comforter from her deep pocket. Pockets were capacious in those days. ‘Look here, uncle Bates, here is what I came to bring you. I made it on purpose for you. You must wear it this winter, and give your red one to old Brooks.’

‘No, I don’t want anything to drink, thanks; it hasn’t been long since breakfast,’ said Caterina, pulling out the comforter from her deep pocket. Pockets were spacious back then. ‘Look, Uncle Bates, this is what I brought for you. I made it just for you. You need to wear it this winter, and give your red one to old Brooks.’

‘Eh, Miss Tiny, this is a beauty. An’ ye made it all wi’ yer little fingers for an old feller laike mae! I tek it very kaind on ye, an’ I belave ye I’ll wear it, and be prood on’t too. These sthraipes, blue an’ whaite, now, they mek it uncommon pritty.’

‘Hey, Miss Tiny, this is beautiful. And you made it all with your little fingers for an old guy like me! I really appreciate it, and I promise I’ll wear it and be proud of it too. These stripes, blue and white, really make it look special.’

‘Yes, that will suit your complexion, you know, better than the old scarlet one. I know Mrs. Sharp will be more in love with you than ever when she sees you in the new one.’

‘Yes, that will look better with your skin tone than the old scarlet one. I’m sure Mrs. Sharp will be even more in love with you when she sees you in the new one.’

‘My complexion, ye little roogue! ye’re a laughin’ at me. But talkin’ o’ complexions, what a beautiful colour the bride as is to be has on her cheeks! Dang my boottons! she looks faine and handsome o’ hossback—sits as upraight as a dart, wi’ a figure like a statty! Misthress Sharp has promised to put me behaind one o’ the doors when the ladies are comin’ doon to dinner, so as I may sae the young un i’ full dress, wi’ all her curls an’ that. Misthress Sharp says she’s almost beautifuller nor my ledy was when she was yoong; an’ I think ye’ll noot faind man i’ the counthry as’ll coom up to that.’

‘My complexion, you little rascal! You’re laughing at me. But speaking of complexions, what a beautiful color the bride-to-be has on her cheeks! Dang my buttons! She looks fine and graceful on horseback—sits as upright as a dart, with a figure like a statue! Mistress Sharp has promised to hide me behind one of the doors when the ladies come down to dinner, so I can see the young one in full dress, with all her curls and everything. Mistress Sharp says she’s almost more beautiful than my lady was when she was young; and I don’t think you’ll find any man in the country who can match that.’

‘Yes, Miss Assher is very handsome,’ said Caterina, rather faintly, feeling the sense of her own insignificance returning at this picture of the impression Miss Assher made on others.

‘Yes, Miss Assher is very attractive,’ said Caterina, somewhat weakly, feeling her own insignificance creeping back as she considered the impact Miss Assher had on those around her.

‘Well, an’ I hope she’s good too, an’ll mek a good naice to Sir Cristhifer an’ my ledy. Misthress Griffin, the maid, says as she’s rether tatchy and find-fautin’ aboot her cloothes, laike. But she’s yoong—she’s yoong; that’ll wear off when she’s got a hoosband, an’ children, an’ summat else to think on. Sir Cristhifer’s fain an’ delaighted, I can see. He says to me th’ other mornin’, says he, “Well, Bates, what do you think of your young misthress as is to be?” An’ I says, “Whay, yer honour, I think she’s as fain a lass as iver I set eyes on; an’ I wish the Captain luck in a fain family, an’ your honour laife an’ health to see’t.” Mr. Warren says as the masther’s all for forrardin’ the weddin’, an’ it’ll very laike be afore the autumn’s oot.’

‘Well, I hope she's good too and will be nice to Sir Christopher and my lady. Mistress Griffin, the maid, says she's a bit picky and critical about her clothes, though. But she's young—she’s young; that will change once she has a husband, kids, and other things to think about. Sir Christopher seems happy and delighted, I can see. He said to me the other morning, “Well, Bates, what do you think of your young mistress-to-be?” And I said, “Well, your honor, I think she’s as fine a girl as I’ve ever seen; and I wish the Captain luck in having a lovely family, and your honor life and health to see it.” Mr. Warren says that the master is all for moving the wedding up, and it’ll likely be before autumn is over.’

As Mr. Bates ran on, Caterina felt something like a painful contraction at her heart. ‘Yes,’ she said, rising, ‘I dare say it will. Sir Christopher is very anxious for it. But I must go, uncle Bates; Lady Cheverel will be wanting me, and it is your dinner-time.’

As Mr. Bates continued speaking, Caterina felt a sharp pain in her heart. “Yes,” she said, standing up, “I’m sure it will. Sir Christopher is very eager for it. But I need to go, Uncle Bates; Lady Cheverel will be expecting me, and it’s your dinner time.”

‘Nay, my dinner doon’t sinnify a bit; but I moosn’t kaep ye if my ledy wants ye. Though I hevn’t thanked ye half anoof for the comfiter—the wrapraskil, as they call’t. My feckins, it’s a beauty. But ye look very whaite and sadly, Miss Tiny; I doubt ye’re poorly; an’ this walking i’ th’ wet isn’t good for ye.’

'Nay, my dinner doesn’t matter at all; but I can’t keep you if my lady wants you. Although I haven’t thanked you enough for the comfort—the wrap, as they call it. My goodness, it’s beautiful. But you look very pale and sad, Miss Tiny; I think you’re not well; and walking in the wet isn’t good for you.'

‘O yes, it is indeed,’ said Caterina, hastening out, and taking up her umbrella from the kitchen floor. ‘I must really go now; so good-bye.’

‘Oh yes, it definitely is,’ said Caterina, rushing out and picking up her umbrella from the kitchen floor. ‘I have to go now; so goodbye.’

She tripped off, calling Rupert, while the good gardener, his hands thrust deep in his pockets, stood looking after her and shaking his head with rather a melancholy air.

She walked away, calling for Rupert, while the good gardener, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, stood watching her and shaking his head with a somewhat sad expression.

‘She gets moor nesh and dillicat than iver,’ he said, half to himself and half to Hester. ‘I shouldn’t woonder if she fades away laike them cyclamens as I transplanted. She puts me i’ maind on ’em somehow, hangin’ on their little thin stalks, so whaite an’ tinder.’

‘She’s getting softer and more delicate than ever,’ he said, mostly to himself and partly to Hester. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if she withers away like those cyclamens I transplanted. She reminds me of them somehow, hanging on their little thin stems, so white and fragile.’

The poor little thing made her way back, no longer hungering for the cold moist air as a counteractive of inward excitement, but with a chill at her heart which made the outward chill only depressing. The golden sunlight beamed through the dripping boughs like a Shechinah, or visible divine presence, and the birds were chirping and trilling their new autumnal songs so sweetly, it seemed as if their throats, as well as the air, were all the clearer for the rain; but Caterina moved through all this joy and beauty like a poor wounded leveret painfully dragging its little body through the sweet clover-tufts—for it, sweet in vain. Mr. Bates’s words about Sir Christopher’s joy, Miss Assher’s beauty, and the nearness of the wedding, had come upon her like the pressure of a cold hand, rousing her from confused dozing to a perception of hard, familiar realities. It is so with emotional natures whose thoughts are no more than the fleeting shadows cast by feeling: to them words are facts, and even when known to be false, have a mastery over their smiles and tears. Caterina entered her own room again, with no other change from her former state of despondency and wretchedness than an additional sense of injury from Anthony. His behaviour towards her in the morning was a new wrong. To snatch a caress when she justly claimed an expression of penitence, of regret, of sympathy, was to make more light of her than ever.

The poor little thing made her way back, no longer craving the cold, moist air as a way to counteract her inner excitement, but with a chill in her heart that made the outer cold feel even more depressing. The golden sunlight streamed through the dripping branches like a divine presence, and the birds were chirping and singing their sweet autumn songs so beautifully that it seemed like their throats, as well as the air, were clearer because of the rain; but Caterina moved through all this joy and beauty like a wounded hare painfully dragging its body through the sweet clover tufts—sweetness was in vain for her. Mr. Bates’s words about Sir Christopher’s happiness, Miss Assher’s beauty, and the upcoming wedding had hit her like the pressure of a cold hand, waking her from a confused daze to the harsh, familiar realities. This is how it is for emotional people whose thoughts are just fleeting shadows cast by their feelings: to them, words are facts, and even when they know they're false, they can still control their smiles and tears. Caterina entered her room again, with no change from her previous state of sadness and misery, except for an added sense of betrayal from Anthony. His behavior towards her in the morning felt like a new wrong. To take a kiss when she rightfully deserved an expression of remorse, regret, or sympathy made him dismiss her more than ever.

Chapter 8

That evening Miss Assher seemed to carry herself with unusual haughtiness, and was coldly observant of Caterina. There was unmistakably thunder in the air. Captain Wybrow appeared to take the matter very easily, and was inclined to brave it out by paying more than ordinary attention to Caterina. Mr. Gilfil had induced her to play a game at draughts with him, Lady Assher being seated at picquet with Sir Christopher, and Miss Assher in determined conversation with Lady Cheverel. Anthony, thus left as an odd unit, sauntered up to Caterina’s chair, and leaned behind her, watching the game. Tina, with all the remembrances of the morning thick upon her, felt her cheeks becoming more and more crimson, and at last said impatiently, ‘I wish you would go away.’

That evening, Miss Assher seemed unusually proud and watched Caterina coldly. It was clear there was tension in the air. Captain Wybrow seemed to take it all in stride and made a point to give Caterina extra attention. Mr. Gilfil had convinced her to play a game of checkers with him, while Lady Assher sat playing cards with Sir Christopher and Miss Assher engaged in a serious conversation with Lady Cheverel. Anthony, feeling a bit out of place, wandered over to Caterina’s chair and leaned behind her, watching the game. Tina, still recalling the events of the morning, felt her cheeks getting hotter and finally said impatiently, “I wish you would go away.”

This happened directly under the view of Miss Assher, who saw Caterina’s reddening cheeks, saw that she said something impatiently, and that Captain Wybrow moved away in consequence. There was another person, too, who had noticed this incident with strong interest, and who was moreover aware that Miss Assher not only saw, but keenly observed what was passing. That other person was Mr. Gilfil, and he drew some painful conclusions which heightened his anxiety for Caterina.

This happened right in front of Miss Assher, who noticed Caterina’s flushed cheeks, saw that she spoke impatiently, and that Captain Wybrow walked away as a result. There was also someone else who noticed this incident with great interest, and who knew that Miss Assher didn’t just see but also closely observed what was happening. That other person was Mr. Gilfil, and he came to some troubling conclusions that increased his worry for Caterina.

The next morning, in spite of the fine weather, Miss Assher declined riding, and Lady Cheverel, perceiving that there was something wrong between the lovers, took care that they should be left together in the drawing-room. Miss Assher, seated on the sofa near the fire, was busy with some fancy-work, in which she seemed bent on making great progress this morning. Captain Wybrow sat opposite with a newspaper in his hand, from which he obligingly read extracts with an elaborately easy air, wilfully unconscious of the contemptuous silence with which she pursued her filigree work. At length he put down the paper, which he could no longer pretend not to have exhausted, and Miss Assher then said,—‘You seem to be on very intimate terms with Miss Sarti.’

The next morning, despite the nice weather, Miss Assher decided not to go riding, and Lady Cheverel, noticing that something was off between the couple, made sure they were left alone in the drawing-room. Miss Assher, sitting on the sofa by the fire, was focused on some craftwork, clearly intent on making a lot of progress that morning. Captain Wybrow sat across from her, holding a newspaper, from which he casually read excerpts, pretending not to notice the cold silence with which she continued her delicate work. Eventually, he put down the paper, which he could no longer pretend to find interesting, and Miss Assher then said, "You seem to be quite familiar with Miss Sarti."

‘With Tina? oh yes; she has always been the pet of the house, you know. We have been quite brother and sister together.’

‘With Tina? Oh, definitely; she has always been the favorite in the house, you know. We've been like brother and sister together.’

‘Sisters don’t generally colour so very deeply when their brothers approach them.’

‘Sisters usually don’t show such strong emotions when their brothers come near them.’

‘Does she colour? I never noticed it. But she’s a timid little thing.’

‘Does she blush? I never noticed that. But she’s a shy little thing.’

‘It would be much better if you would not be so hypocritical, Captain Wybrow. I am confident there has been some flirtation between you. Miss Sarti, in her position, would never speak to you with the petulance she did last night, if you had not given her some kind of claim on you.’

‘It would be a lot better if you weren't so hypocritical, Captain Wybrow. I'm sure there has been some flirting between you two. Miss Sarti, in her position, would never have spoken to you with the irritation she did last night if you hadn’t given her some sort of claim on you.’

‘My dear Beatrice, now do be reasonable; do ask yourself what earthly probability there is that I should think of flirting with poor little Tina. Is there anything about her to attract that sort of attention? She is more child than woman. One thinks of her as a little girl to be petted and played with.’

‘My dear Beatrice, please be reasonable; ask yourself what the chances are that I would even consider flirting with poor little Tina. Is there anything about her that would draw that kind of attention? She feels more like a child than a woman. You think of her as a little girl to be adored and played with.’

‘Pray, what were you playing at with her yesterday morning, when I came in unexpectedly, and her cheeks were flushed, and her hands trembling?’

‘What were you doing with her yesterday morning when I came in unexpectedly, and her cheeks were red, and her hands were shaking?’

‘Yesterday morning?—O, I remember. You know I always tease her about Gilfil, who is over head and ears in love with her; and she is angry at that,—perhaps, because she likes him. They were old playfellows years before I came here, and Sir Christopher has set his heart on their marrying.’

‘Yesterday morning?—Oh, I remember. You know I always tease her about Gilfil, who is head over heels in love with her; and she gets mad about it—maybe because she likes him. They were childhood friends long before I got here, and Sir Christopher is really hoping they’ll get married.’

‘Captain Wybrow, you are very false. It had nothing to do with Mr. Gilfil that she coloured last night when you leaned over her chair. You might just as well be candid. If your own mind is not made up, pray do no violence to yourself. I am quite ready to give way to Miss Sarti’s superior attractions. Understand that, so far as I am concerned, you are perfectly at liberty. I decline any share in the affection of a man who forfeits my respect by duplicity.’

‘Captain Wybrow, you're being very dishonest. It had nothing to do with Mr. Gilfil that she blushed last night when you leaned over her chair. You might as well be honest. If you're still undecided, please don’t force yourself. I'm completely willing to step aside for Miss Sarti’s greater appeal. Just know that, as far as I'm concerned, you're totally free. I won’t share my feelings with someone who loses my respect through deceit.’

In saying this Miss Assher rose, and was sweeping haughtily out of the room, when Captain Wybrow placed himself before her, and took her hand. ‘Dear, dear Beatrice, be patient; do not judge me so rashly. Sit down again, sweet,’ he added in a pleading voice, pressing both her hands between his, and leading her back to the sofa, where he sat down beside her. Miss Assher was not unwilling to be led back or to listen, but she retained her cold and haughty expression.

In saying this, Miss Assher got up and was leaving the room with a haughty demeanor when Captain Wybrow stepped in front of her and took her hand. "Dear, dear Beatrice, please be patient; don’t judge me so quickly. Sit down again, my dear," he added in a pleading tone, gripping both her hands between his and guiding her back to the sofa, where he sat down next to her. Miss Assher was not averse to being led back or to listening, but she kept her cold and haughty expression.

‘Can you not trust me, Beatrice? Can you not believe me, although there may be things I am unable to explain?’

‘Can you not trust me, Beatrice? Can you not believe me, even if there are things I can't explain?’

‘Why should there be anything you are unable to explain? An honourable man will not be placed in circumstances which he cannot explain to the woman he seeks to make his wife. He will not ask her to believe that he acts properly; he will let her know that he does so. Let me go, sir.’

‘Why should there be anything you can’t explain? A respectable man wouldn’t find himself in situations he can’t clarify to the woman he wants to marry. He wouldn’t ask her to believe that he behaves correctly; he would show her that he does. Let me go, sir.’

She attempted to rise, but he passed his hand round her waist and detained her.

She tried to get up, but he put his arm around her waist and held her back.

‘Now, Beatrice dear,’ he said imploringly, ‘can you not understand that there are things a man doesn’t like to talk about—secrets that he must keep for the sake of others, and not for his own sake? Everything that relates to myself you may ask me, but do not ask me to tell other people’s secrets. Don’t you understand me?’

‘Now, Beatrice, my dear,’ he said earnestly, ‘can’t you see that there are things a man doesn’t want to discuss—secrets he has to keep for others, not for himself? You can ask me anything about my life, but please don’t make me reveal other people’s secrets. Don’t you get what I’m saying?’

‘O yes,’ said Miss Assher scornfully, ‘I understand. Whenever you make love to a woman—that is her secret, which you are bound to keep for her. But it is folly to be talking in this way, Captain Wybrow. It is very plain that there is some relation more than friendship between you and Miss Sarti. Since you cannot explain that relation, there is no more to be said between us.’

‘Oh yes,’ Miss Assher said mockingly, ‘I get it. Whenever you get close to a woman—that’s her secret, and you’re obligated to keep it. But it’s pointless to talk like this, Captain Wybrow. It’s obvious that there’s more than friendship between you and Miss Sarti. Since you can’t explain that relationship, there’s nothing more to discuss between us.’

‘Confound it, Beatrice! you’ll drive me mad. Can a fellow help a girl’s falling in love with him? Such things are always happening, but men don’t talk of them. These fancies will spring up without the slightest foundation, especially when a woman sees few people; they die out again when there is no encouragement. If you could like me, you ought not to be surprised that other people can; you ought to think the better of them for it.’

‘Damn it, Beatrice! You’re going to drive me crazy. Can a guy really help it if a girl falls in love with him? This kind of thing happens all the time, but men don’t talk about it. These feelings can pop up out of nowhere, especially when a woman doesn’t see many people; they fade away when there’s no support. If you could like me, you shouldn’t be surprised that other people can too; you should think more highly of them for it.’

‘You mean to say, then, that Miss Sarti is in love with you, without your ever having made love to her.’

‘Are you saying that Miss Sarti is in love with you, even though you’ve never actually made a move on her?’

‘Do not press me to say such things, dearest. It is enough that you know I love you—that I am devoted to you. You naughty queen, you, you know there is no chance for any one else where you are. You are only tormenting me, to prove your power over me. But don’t be too cruel; for you know they say I have another heart-disease besides love, and these scenes bring on terrible palpitations.’

‘Please don't push me to say things like that, my love. It's enough that you know I love you—that I'm completely devoted to you. You cheeky queen, you know there's no chance for anyone else when it comes to you. You're just teasing me to show how much control you have over me. But don’t be too harsh; because you know they say I have another heart problem besides love, and these situations trigger terrible heart palpitations.’

‘But I must have an answer to this one question,’ said Miss Assher, a little softened: ‘Has there been, or is there, any love on your side towards Miss Sarti? I have nothing to do with her feelings, but I have a right to know yours.’

‘But I need an answer to this one question,’ said Miss Assher, a bit more gentle: ‘Have you ever had, or do you currently have, any feelings for Miss Sarti? I’m not concerned about how she feels, but I have a right to know how you feel.’

‘I like Tina very much; who would not like such a little simple thing? You would not wish me not to like her? But love—that is a very different affair. One has a brotherly affection for such a woman as Tina; but it is another sort of woman that one loves.’

‘I really like Tina; who wouldn't like such a sweet and simple person? You wouldn't want me to say I don't like her, right? But love—that's a whole different story. You have a brotherly affection for someone like Tina; but the kind of woman you love is in a different category.’

These last words were made doubly significant by a look of tenderness, and a kiss imprinted on the hand Captain Wybrow held in his. Miss Assher was conquered. It was so far from probable that Anthony should love that pale insignificant little thing—so highly probable that he should adore the beautiful Miss Assher. On the whole, it was rather gratifying that other women should be languishing for her handsome lover; he really was an exquisite creature. Poor Miss Sarti! Well, she would get over it.

These last words were made even more meaningful by a look of affection and a kiss planted on the hand Captain Wybrow was holding. Miss Assher was won over. It was unlikely that Anthony would love that pale, insignificant girl—much more likely that he would adore the beautiful Miss Assher. Overall, it was somewhat satisfying that other women were yearning for her attractive lover; he really was a stunning guy. Poor Miss Sarti! Well, she would move on.

Captain Wybrow saw his advantage. ‘Come, sweet love,’ he continued, ‘let us talk no more about unpleasant things. You will keep Tina’s secret, and be very kind to her—won’t you?—for my sake. But you will ride out now? See what a glorious day it is for riding. Let me order the horses. I’m terribly in want of the air. Come, give me one forgiving kiss, and say you will go.’

Captain Wybrow recognized his opportunity. “Come on, my dear,” he said, “let’s not dwell on unpleasant topics anymore. You will keep Tina’s secret and be kind to her—won’t you?—for my sake. But you’ll go for a ride now, right? Look at how beautiful the day is for riding. Let me arrange for the horses. I really need some fresh air. Now, give me one forgiving kiss and promise you’ll join me.”

Miss Assher complied with the double request, and then went to equip herself for the ride, while her lover walked to the stables.

Miss Assher agreed to both requests and then went to get ready for the ride, while her partner headed to the stables.

Chapter 9

Meanwhile Mr. Gilfil, who had a heavy weight on his mind, had watched for the moment when, the two elder ladies having driven out, Caterina would probably be alone in Lady Cheverel’s sitting-room. He went up and knocked at the door.

Meanwhile, Mr. Gilfil, who had a lot on his mind, waited for the moment when the two older ladies had gone out and Caterina would likely be alone in Lady Cheverel’s sitting room. He went up and knocked on the door.

‘Come in,’ said the sweet mellow voice, always thrilling to him as the sound of rippling water to the thirsty.

‘Come in,’ said the soothing, warm voice, always exciting to him like the sound of flowing water to someone who is thirsty.

He entered and found Caterina standing in some confusion as if she had been startled from a reverie. She felt relieved when she saw it was Maynard, but, the next moment, felt a little pettish that he should have come to interrupt and frighten her.

He walked in and saw Caterina standing there, looking a bit confused as if she had just been pulled out of a daydream. She felt a wave of relief when she realized it was Maynard, but then she felt a little annoyed that he had come in and startled her.

‘Oh, it is you, Maynard! Do you want Lady Cheverel?’

‘Oh, it’s you, Maynard! Are you looking for Lady Cheverel?’

‘No, Caterina,’ he answered gravely; ‘I want you. I have something very particular to say to you. Will you let me sit down with you for half an hour?’

‘No, Caterina,’ he replied seriously; ‘I want you. I have something really important to tell you. Can I sit down with you for half an hour?’

‘Yes, dear old preacher,’ said Caterina, sitting down with an air of weariness; ‘what is it?’

‘Yes, dear old preacher,’ said Caterina, sitting down with an air of exhaustion; ‘what’s up?’

Mr. Gilfil placed himself opposite to her, and said, ‘I hope you will not be hurt, Caterina, by what I am going to say to you. I do not speak from any other feelings than real affection and anxiety for you. I put everything else out of the question. You know you are more to me than all the world; but I will not thrust before you a feeling which you are unable to return. I speak to you as a brother—the old Maynard that used to scold you for getting your fishing-line tangled ten years ago. You will not believe that I have any mean, selfish motive in mentioning things that are painful to you?’

Mr. Gilfil sat down across from her and said, “I hope you won’t be upset, Caterina, by what I’m about to say. I’m speaking out of genuine care and concern for you. I’m setting everything else aside. You know you mean more to me than anything else; however, I won’t push a feeling on you that you can’t reciprocate. I’m talking to you as a brother—the same Maynard who used to scold you for tangling your fishing line ten years ago. You don’t think I have any selfish or petty reasons for bringing up these difficult subjects, do you?”

‘No; I know you are very good,’ said Caterina, abstractedly.

‘No; I know you’re really nice,’ said Caterina, lost in thought.

‘From what I saw yesterday evening,’ Mr. Gilfil went on, hesitating and colouring slightly, ‘I am led to fear—pray forgive me if I am wrong, Caterina—that you—that Captain Wybrow is base enough still to trifle with your feelings, that he still allows himself to behave to you as no man ought who is the declared lover of another woman.’

‘From what I saw yesterday evening,’ Mr. Gilfil continued, hesitating and slightly blushing, ‘I’m worried—please forgive me if I’m mistaken, Caterina—that you—that Captain Wybrow is still low enough to play with your feelings, that he continues to treat you in a way that no man should who is openly committed to another woman.’

‘What do you mean, Maynard?’ said Caterina, with anger flashing from her eyes. ‘Do you mean that I let him make love to me? What right have you to think that of me? What do you mean that you saw yesterday evening?’

‘What do you mean, Maynard?’ Caterina said, anger flashing in her eyes. ‘Are you saying I let him make love to me? What right do you have to think that of me? What do you mean by saying you saw something yesterday evening?’

‘Do not be angry, Caterina. I don’t suspect you of doing wrong. I only suspect that heartless puppy of behaving so as to keep awake feelings in you that not only destroy your own peace of mind, but may lead to very bad consequences with regard to others. I want to warn you that Miss Assher has her eyes open on what passes between you and Captain Wybrow, and I feel sure she is getting jealous of you. Pray be very careful, Caterina, and try to behave with politeness and indifference to him. You must see by this time that he is not worth the feeling you have given him. He’s more disturbed at his pulse beating one too many in a minute, than at all the misery he has caused you by his foolish trifling.’

‘Please don’t be upset, Caterina. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. I just suspect that heartless guy is trying to keep feelings alive in you that not only disturb your peace of mind but could also lead to serious issues for others. I want to warn you that Miss Assher is paying attention to what’s happening between you and Captain Wybrow, and I’m sure she’s getting jealous of you. Please be very careful, Caterina, and try to act politely and indifferently towards him. By now, you should see that he’s not worth the feelings you’ve invested in him. He’s more worried about his pulse racing than all the pain he’s caused you with his foolish games.’

‘You ought not to speak so of him, Maynard,’ said Caterina, passionately. ‘He is not what you think. He did care for me; he did love me; only he wanted to do what his uncle wished.’

‘You shouldn’t talk about him like that, Maynard,’ Caterina said passionately. ‘He’s not what you think. He did care about me; he did love me; he just wanted to do what his uncle wanted.’

‘O to be sure! I know it is only from the most virtuous motives that he does what is convenient to himself.’

‘Oh, for sure! I know he's only doing what’s convenient for himself out of the best intentions.’

Mr. Gilfil paused. He felt that he was getting irritated, and defeating his own object. Presently he continued in a calm and affectionate tone.

Mr. Gilfil paused. He sensed that he was getting annoyed and undermining his own goal. After a moment, he spoke again in a calm and caring tone.

‘I will say no more about what I think of him, Caterina. But whether he loved you or not, his position now with Miss Assher is such that any love you may cherish for him can bring nothing but misery. God knows, I don’t expect you to leave off loving him at a moment’s notice. Time and absence, and trying to do what is right, are the only cures. If it were not that Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel would be displeased and puzzled at your wishing to leave home just now, I would beg you to pay a visit to my sister. She and her husband are good creatures, and would make their house a home to you. But I could not urge the thing just now without giving a special reason; and what is most of all to be dreaded is the raising of any suspicion in Sir Christopher’s mind of what has happened in the past, or of your present feelings. You think so too, don’t you, Tina?’

‘I won’t say more about what I think of him, Caterina. But whether he loved you or not, his situation with Miss Assher is such that any love you might still have for him can only lead to heartbreak. Honestly, I don’t expect you to stop loving him on a whim. Time and distance, along with trying to do what’s right, are the only real remedies. If it weren’t for the fact that Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel would be upset and confused by your wanting to leave home right now, I would encourage you to visit my sister. She and her husband are wonderful people and would welcome you. But I can’t push the idea without giving a specific reason; and what we really need to avoid is raising any suspicion in Sir Christopher’s mind about what has happened in the past or about your current feelings. You agree with me on that, right, Tina?’

Mr. Gilfil paused again, but Caterina said nothing. She was looking away from him, out of the window, and her eyes were filling with tears. He rose, and, advancing a little towards her, held out his hand and said,—‘Forgive me, Caterina, for intruding on your feelings in this way. I was so afraid you might not be aware how Miss Assher watched you. Remember, I entreat you, that the peace of the whole family depends on your power of governing yourself. Only say you forgive me before I go.’

Mr. Gilfil paused again, but Caterina didn’t say anything. She was looking out the window, and her eyes were filling with tears. He got up, moved a little closer to her, held out his hand, and said, “Forgive me, Caterina, for intruding on your feelings like this. I was really worried you might not notice how Miss Assher was watching you. Please remember that the happiness of the whole family depends on your ability to control yourself. Just say you forgive me before I leave.”

‘Dear, good Maynard,’ she said, stretching out her little hand, and taking two of his large fingers in her grasp, while her tears flowed fast; ‘I am very cross to you. But my heart is breaking. I don’t know what I do. Good-bye.’

‘Dear, sweet Maynard,’ she said, reaching out her small hand and taking two of his large fingers in her grip, while her tears streamed down; ‘I’m really upset with you. But my heart is breaking. I don’t know what I’m doing. Goodbye.’

He stooped down, kissed the little hand, and then left the room.

He bent down, kissed the little hand, and then left the room.

‘The cursed scoundrel!’ he muttered between his teeth, as he closed the door behind him. ‘If it were not for Sir Christopher, I should like to pound him into paste to poison puppies like himself.’

‘The damn scoundrel!’ he muttered under his breath as he shut the door behind him. ‘If it weren't for Sir Christopher, I'd love to grind him into paste to poison little pups just like him.’

Chapter 10

That evening Captain Wybrow, returning from a long ride with Miss Assher, went up to his dressing-room, and seated himself with an air of considerable lassitude before his mirror. The reflection there presented of his exquisite self was certainly paler and more worn than usual, and might excuse the anxiety with which he first felt his pulse, and then laid his hand on his heart.

That evening, Captain Wybrow returned from a long ride with Miss Assher, went up to his dressing room, and sat down with a look of noticeable fatigue in front of his mirror. His reflection showed that he looked more pale and worn than usual, which could explain the concern he felt as he first checked his pulse and then placed his hand on his heart.

‘It’s a devil of a position this for a man to be in,’ was the train of his thought, as he kept his eyes fixed on the glass, while he leaned back in his chair, and crossed his hands behind his head; ‘between two jealous women, and both of them as ready to take fire as tinder. And in my state of health, too! I should be glad enough to run away from the whole affair, and go off to some lotus-eating place or other where there are no women, or only women who are too sleepy to be jealous. Here am I, doing nothing to please myself, trying to do the best thing for everybody else, and all the comfort I get is to have fire shot at me from women’s eyes, and venom spirted at me from women’s tongues. If Beatrice takes another jealous fit into her head—and it’s likely enough, Tina is so unmanageable—I don’t know what storm she may raise. And any hitch in this marriage, especially of that sort, might be a fatal business for the old gentleman. I wouldn’t have such a blow fall upon him for a great deal. Besides, a man must be married some time in his life, and I could hardly do better than marry Beatrice. She’s an uncommonly fine woman, and I’m really very fond of her; and as I shall let her have her own way, her temper won’t signify much. I wish the wedding was over and done with, for this fuss doesn’t suit me at all. I haven’t been half so well lately. That scene about Tina this morning quite upset me. Poor little Tina! What a little simpleton it was, to set her heart on me in that way! But she ought to see how impossible it is that things should be different. If she would but understand how kindly I feel towards her, and make up her mind to look on me as a friend;—but that is what one never can get a woman to do. Beatrice is very good-natured; I’m sure she would be kind to the little thing. It would be a great comfort if Tina would take to Gilfil, if it were only in anger against me. He’d make her a capital husband, and I should like to see the little grass-hopper happy. If I had been in a different position, I would certainly have married her myself: but that was out of the question with my responsibilities to Sir Christopher. I think a little persuasion from my uncle would bring her to accept Gilfil; I know she would never be able to oppose my uncle’s wishes. And if they were once married, she’s such a loving little thing, she would soon be billing and cooing with him as if she had never known me. It would certainly be the best thing for her happiness if that marriage were hastened. Heigho! Those are lucky fellows that have no women falling in love with them. It’s a confounded responsibility.’

‘It’s a tough position for a guy to be in,’ he thought, keeping his eyes on the glass as he leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head; ‘caught between two jealous women, both ready to explode. And with my health like this! I’d be more than happy to escape from the whole situation and head to some relaxing place where there are no women, or only women who are too drowsy to be jealous. Here I am, doing nothing for myself, trying to make things better for everyone else, and all I get in return is hostility shot at me from their eyes and bitterness spat at me from their lips. If Beatrice gets another jealous episode—and it’s pretty likely, since Tina is so unpredictable—I can only imagine the chaos she might create. Any problems with this marriage, especially that kind, could be disastrous for the old man. I wouldn’t want such a blow to hit him for anything. Besides, a guy has to get married at some point, and I could hardly do better than marry Beatrice. She’s an incredibly good woman, and I actually care about her; and since I’ll let her have her way, her temper won’t matter much. I just wish the wedding was over already because this drama isn’t working for me. I haven’t been feeling great lately. That scene about Tina this morning really threw me off. Poor little Tina! What a naive girl she is to have her heart set on me like that! But she needs to see how impossible it is for things to be different. If she could just understand how kindly I feel towards her and decide to see me as a friend—but that’s something you can never get a woman to accept. Beatrice is really kind; I’m sure she would be nice to the little one. It would be such a relief if Tina would turn to Gilfil, even if it was just to get back at me. He’d make her a great husband, and I would love to see that little grasshopper happy. If I were in a different situation, I would have definitely married her myself, but that was out of the question with my responsibilities to Sir Christopher. I think a little push from my uncle would get her to accept Gilfil; I know she’d never go against my uncle’s wishes. And once they were married, she’s such a loving person, she’d soon be all lovey-dovey with him as if she never knew me. It would definitely be the best thing for her happiness if that marriage happened sooner. Ugh! Those lucky guys who don’t have women falling for them have it easy. It’s a huge responsibility.’

At this point in his meditations he turned his head a little, so as to get a three-quarter view of his face. Clearly it was the ‘dono infelice della bellezza’ that laid these onerous duties upon him—an idea which naturally suggested that he should ring for his valet.

At this point in his thoughts, he turned his head slightly to get a three-quarter view of his face. Clearly, it was the 'dono infelice della bellezza' that imposed these heavy responsibilities on him—an idea that naturally led him to ring for his valet.

For the next few days, however, there was such a cessation of threatening symptoms as to allay the anxiety both of Captain Wybrow and Mr. Gilfil. All earthly things have their lull: even on nights when the most unappeasable wind is raging, there will be a moment of stillness before it crashes among the boughs again, and storms against the windows, and howls like a thousand lost demons through the keyholes.

For the next few days, though, there was such a break in the alarming symptoms that it eased the worries of both Captain Wybrow and Mr. Gilfil. Everything in life has its calm: even on nights when the most restless wind is howling, there’s a moment of silence before it crashes through the branches again, pounds on the windows, and screams like a thousand lost souls through the keyholes.

Miss Assher appeared to be in the highest good-humour; Captain Wybrow was more assiduous than usual, and was very circumspect in his behaviour to Caterina, on whom Miss Assher bestowed unwonted attentions. The weather was brilliant; there were riding excursions in the mornings and dinner-parties in the evenings. Consultations in the library between Sir Christopher and Lady Assher seemed to be leading to a satisfactory result; and it was understood that this visit at Cheverel Manor would terminate in another fortnight, when the preparations for the wedding would be carried forward with all despatch at Farleigh. The Baronet seemed every day more radiant. Accustomed to view people who entered into his plans by the pleasant light which his own strong will and bright hopefulness were always casting on the future, he saw nothing hut personal charms and promising domestic qualities in Miss Assher, whose quickness of eye and taste in externals formed a real ground of sympathy between her and Sir Christopher. Lady Cheverel’s enthusiasm never rose above the temperate mark of calm satisfaction, and, having quite her share of the critical acumen which characterizes the mutual estimates of the fair sex, she had a more moderate opinion of Miss Assher’s qualities. She suspected that the fair Beatrice had a sharp and imperious temper; and being herself, on principle and by habitual self-command, the most deferential of wives, she noticed with disapproval Miss Assher’s occasional air of authority towards Captain Wybrow. A proud woman who has learned to submit, carries all her pride to the reinforcement of her submission, and looks down with severe superiority on all feminine assumption as ‘unbecoming’. Lady Cheverel, however, confined her criticisms to the privacy of her own thoughts, and, with a reticence which I fear may seem incredible, did not use them as a means of disturbing her husband’s complacency.

Miss Assher seemed to be in a great mood; Captain Wybrow was more attentive than usual and was very careful in his interactions with Caterina, on whom Miss Assher lavished unexpected attention. The weather was beautiful; there were morning riding trips and dinner gatherings in the evenings. Meetings in the library between Sir Christopher and Lady Assher appeared to be leading to a positive outcome; it was understood that this visit to Cheverel Manor would wrap up in another two weeks, when the wedding preparations would move forward quickly at Farleigh. The Baronet looked more radiant each day. Used to seeing people who joined his plans through the hopeful lens of his strong will, he noticed only personal charms and promising domestic traits in Miss Assher, whose sharp eye and appreciation for appearances created a genuine bond with Sir Christopher. Lady Cheverel’s enthusiasm never exceeded a measured level of contentment, and with her fair share of the critical insight typical of women's opinions, she held a more reserved view of Miss Assher’s attributes. She suspected that the beautiful Beatrice had a strong and demanding personality; and being naturally deferential, she disapproved of Miss Assher's occasional authoritative manner towards Captain Wybrow. A proud woman who has learned to submit reinforces her submission with all her pride and looks down upon any feminine assertiveness as “unbecoming.” However, Lady Cheverel kept her criticisms to herself and, with a restraint that might seem unbelievable, did not share them as a way to disrupt her husband’s peace of mind.

And Caterina? How did she pass these sunny autumn days, in which the skies seemed to be smiling on the family gladness? To her the change in Miss Assher’s manner was unaccountable. Those compassionate attentions, those smiling condescensions, were torture to Caterina, who was constantly tempted to repulse them with anger. She thought, ‘Perhaps Anthony has told her to be kind to poor Tina.’ This was an insult. He ought to have known that the mere presence of Miss Assher was painful to her, that Miss Assher’s smiles scorched her, that Miss Assher’s kind words were like poison stings inflaming her to madness. And he—Anthony—he was evidently repenting of the tenderness he had been betrayed into that morning in the drawing-room. He was cold and distant and civil to her, to ward off Beatrice’s suspicions, and Beatrice could be so gracious now, because she was sure of Anthony’s entire devotion. Well! and so it ought to be—and she ought not to wish it otherwise. And yet—oh, he was cruel to her. She could never have behaved so to him. To make her love him so—to speak such tender words—to give her such caresses, and then to behave as if such things had never been. He had given her the poison that seemed so sweet while she was drinking it, and now it was in her blood, and she was helpless.

And Caterina? How did she spend those sunny autumn days, when the skies seemed to be celebrating the family's happiness? To her, the shift in Miss Assher’s behavior was baffling. Those sympathetic gestures, those condescending smiles, felt like torture to Caterina, who was constantly tempted to push back against them with anger. She thought, ‘Maybe Anthony told her to be nice to poor Tina.’ This was insulting. He should have understood that just having Miss Assher around was painful for her, that Miss Assher’s smiles burned her, that Miss Assher’s kind words were like poisonous stings driving her to madness. And he—Anthony—was clearly regretting the affection he had shown that morning in the drawing room. He was cold, distant, and polite toward her, to keep Beatrice from suspecting anything, and Beatrice could be so charming now, because she was confident in Anthony’s complete devotion. Well, that’s how it should be—and she shouldn’t wish it any other way. And yet—oh, he was cruel to her. She could never have acted that way towards him. To make her love him so—to speak such tender words—to give her such affection, and then to act like none of it ever happened. He had given her the poison that felt so sweet while she was consuming it, and now it was in her veins, and she was powerless.

With this tempest pent up in her bosom, the poor child went up to her room every night, and there it all burst forth. There, with loud whispers and sobs, restlessly pacing up and down, lying on the hard floor, courting cold and weariness, she told to the pitiful listening night the anguish which she could pour into no mortal ear. But always sleep came at last, and always in the morning the reactive calm that enabled her to live through the day.

With all this turmoil bottled up inside her, the poor girl went to her room every night, and that’s when it all came pouring out. There, with soft whispers and sobs, she paced back and forth, lying on the hard floor, embracing the cold and exhaustion, sharing her pain with the sympathetic night that no one else could hear. But eventually, sleep would come, and in the morning, there was a calm that helped her get through the day.

It is amazing how long a young frame will go on battling with this sort of secret wretchedness, and yet show no traces of the conflict for any but sympathetic eyes. The very delicacy of Caterina’s usual appearance, her natural paleness and habitually quiet mouse-like ways, made any symptoms of fatigue and suffering less noticeable. And her singing—the one thing in which she ceased to be passive, and became prominent—lost none of its energy. She herself sometimes wondered how it was that, whether she felt sad or angry, crushed with the sense of Anthony’s indifference, or burning with impatience under Miss Assher’s attentions, it was always a relief to her to sing. Those full deep notes she sent forth seemed to be lifting the pain from her heart—seemed to be carrying away the madness from her brain.

It's surprising how long a young body can keep struggling with this kind of hidden misery, yet show no signs of the internal battle to anyone but those who truly care. Caterina's delicate appearance, her natural paleness, and her quiet, timid demeanor made any signs of exhaustion and suffering less obvious. And her singing—the one thing where she wasn't passive but stood out—didn't lose any of its power. Sometimes she found herself questioning why, whether she felt sad or angry, overwhelmed by Anthony's indifference or frustrated by Miss Assher's attention, it always felt good to sing. Those rich, deep notes seemed to lift the pain from her heart—seemed to wash away the chaos from her mind.

Thus Lady Cheverel noticed no change in Caterina, and it was only Mr. Gilfil who discerned with anxiety the feverish spot that sometimes rose on her cheek, the deepening violet tint under her eyes, and the strange absent glance, the unhealthy glitter of the beautiful eyes themselves. But those agitated nights were producing a more fatal effect than was represented by these slight outward changes.

Thus Lady Cheverel noticed no change in Caterina, and it was only Mr. Gilfil who anxiously picked up on the feverish spot that sometimes appeared on her cheek, the darkening violet shade under her eyes, and the strange, vacant look, along with the unhealthy sparkle of her beautiful eyes. But those restless nights were having a more serious impact than what these minor outward changes suggested.

Chapter 11

The following Sunday, the morning being rainy, it was determined that the family should not go to Cumbermoor Church as usual, but that Mr. Gilfil, who had only an afternoon service at his curacy, should conduct the morning service in the chapel.

The following Sunday, since it was a rainy morning, the family decided not to go to Cumbermoor Church as they usually did. Instead, Mr. Gilfil, who only had an afternoon service at his curacy, would lead the morning service in the chapel.

Just before the appointed hour of eleven, Caterina came down into the drawing-room, looking so unusually ill as to call forth an anxious inquiry from Lady Cheverel, who, on learning that she had a severe headache, insisted that she should not attend service, and at once packed her up comfortably on a sofa near the fire, putting a volume of Tillotson’s Sermons into her hands—as appropriate reading, if Caterina should feel equal to that means of edification.

Just before eleven o'clock, Caterina entered the living room, looking unwell enough to raise concerns from Lady Cheverel, who, upon finding out that she had a bad headache, insisted that she skip the service. She immediately made her comfortable on a sofa by the fire and handed her a book of Tillotson’s Sermons, in case Caterina felt up to some reading for her own benefit.

Excellent medicine for the mind are the good Archbishop’s sermons, but a medicine, unhappily, not suited to Tina’s case. She sat with the book open on her knees, her dark eyes fixed vacantly on the portrait of that handsome Lady Cheverel, wife of the notable Sir Anthony. She gazed at the picture without thinking of it, and the fair blonde dame seemed to look down on her with that benignant unconcern, that mild wonder, with which happy self-possessed women are apt to look down on their agitated and weaker sisters.

Excellent medicine for the mind are the good Archbishop’s sermons, but unfortunately, they aren't suited to Tina’s situation. She sat with the book open on her lap, her dark eyes staring blankly at the portrait of the lovely Lady Cheverel, wife of the notable Sir Anthony. She gazed at the picture without really thinking about it, and the fair blonde woman seemed to look down at her with that gentle indifference, that mild curiosity, that self-assured women often have when looking at their anxious and more vulnerable sisters.

Caterina was thinking of the near future—of the wedding that was so soon to come—of all she would have to live through in the next months.

Caterina was thinking about the near future—about the wedding that was coming up soon—about everything she would have to go through in the next few months.

‘I wish I could be very ill, and die before then,’ she thought. ‘When people get very ill, they don’t mind about things. Poor Patty Richards looked so happy when she was in a decline. She didn’t seem to care any more about her lover that she was engaged to be married to, and she liked the smell of the flowers so, that I used to take her. O, if I could but like anything—if I could but think about anything else! If these dreadful feelings would go away, I wouldn’t mind about not being happy. I wouldn’t want anything—and I could do what would please Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel. But when that rage and anger comes into me, I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel the ground under me; I only feel my head and heart beating, and it seems as if I must do something dreadful. O! I wonder if any one ever felt like me before. I must be very wicked. But God will have pity on me; He knows all I have to bear.’

‘I wish I could be really sick and die before then,’ she thought. ‘When people get really sick, they don’t care about things. Poor Patty Richards looked so happy when she was unwell. She didn’t seem to care anymore about her fiancé, and she loved the smell of the flowers I used to bring her. Oh, if I could just enjoy something—if I could think about anything else! If these awful feelings would just go away, I wouldn’t care about being happy. I wouldn’t want anything—and I could do what would make Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel happy. But when that rage and anger take over, I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel the ground beneath me; I only feel my head and heart racing, and it seems like I have to do something terrible. Oh! I wonder if anyone has ever felt like this before. I must be really bad. But God will have mercy on me; He knows everything I have to endure.’

In this way the time wore on till Tina heard the sound of voices along the passage, and became conscious that the volume of Tillotson had slipped on the floor. She had only just picked it up, and seen with alarm that the pages were bent, when Lady Assher, Beatrice, and Captain Wybrow entered, all with that brisk and cheerful air which a sermon is often observed to produce when it is quite finished.

In this way, time passed until Tina heard voices coming from down the hallway and realized that the volume of Tillotson had fallen on the floor. She had just picked it up and noticed with worry that the pages were bent when Lady Assher, Beatrice, and Captain Wybrow walked in, all carrying that lively and cheerful vibe that often follows the end of a sermon.

Lady Assher at once came and seated herself by Caterina. Her ladyship had been considerably refreshed by a doze, and was in great force for monologue.

Lady Assher immediately came over and sat down next to Caterina. She had been quite refreshed by a nap and was in great form for a long speech.

‘Well, my dear Miss Sarti, and how do you feel now?—a little better, I see. I thought you would be, sitting quietly here. These headaches, now, are all from weakness. You must not over-exert yourself, and you must take bitters. I used to have just the same sort of headaches when I was your age, and old Dr Samson used to say to my mother, “Madam, what your daughter suffers from is weakness.” He was such a curious old man, was Dr Samson. But I wish you could have heard the sermon this morning. Such an excellent sermon! It was about the ten virgins: five of them were foolish, and five were clever, you know; and Mr. Gilfil explained all that. What a very pleasant young man he is! so very quiet and agreeable, and such a good hand at whist. I wish we had him at Farleigh. Sir John would have liked him beyond anything; he is so good-tempered at cards, and he was such a man for cards, was Sir John. And our rector is a very irritable man; he can’t bear to lose his money at cards. I don’t think a clergyman ought to mind about losing his money; do you?—do you now?’

‘Well, my dear Miss Sarti, how are you feeling now?—a bit better, I see. I thought you would be, sitting quietly here. These headaches are all from being run down. You mustn’t overexert yourself, and you should take some bitters. I used to have the same kind of headaches when I was your age, and old Dr. Samson used to tell my mother, “Madam, your daughter suffers from weakness.” He was such a quirky old man, Dr. Samson. But I wish you could have heard the sermon this morning. It was such an excellent sermon! It was about the ten virgins: five were foolish, and five were wise, you know; and Mr. Gilfil explained it all. What a pleasant young man he is! So quiet and agreeable, and great at whist. I wish we had him at Farleigh. Sir John would have really liked him; he was so easygoing at cards, and he loved to play. Our rector, on the other hand, is very irritable; he can't stand losing his money at cards. I don’t think a clergyman should worry about losing money; do you?—do you now?’

‘O pray, Lady Assher,’ interposed Beatrice, in her usual tone of superiority, ‘do not weary poor Caterina with such uninteresting questions. Your head seems very bad still, dear,’ she continued, in a condoling tone, to Caterina; ‘do take my vinaigrette, and keep it in your pocket. It will perhaps refresh you now and then.’

‘Oh please, Lady Assher,’ interrupted Beatrice, in her typical condescending manner, ‘don’t tire poor Caterina with such dull questions. You still seem to be feeling unwell, dear,’ she continued, in a sympathetic tone, to Caterina; ‘do take my vinaigrette and keep it in your pocket. It might refresh you from time to time.’

‘No, thank you,’ answered Caterina; ‘I will not take it away from you.’

‘No, thanks,’ Caterina replied; ‘I won't take it from you.’

‘Indeed, dear, I never use it; you must take it,’ Miss Assher persisted, holding it close to Tina’s hand. Tina coloured deeply, pushed the vinaigrette away with some impatience, and said, ‘Thank you, I never use those things. I don’t like vinaigrettes.’

‘Honestly, I never use it; you should take it,’ Miss Assher insisted, holding it close to Tina’s hand. Tina blushed deeply, pushed the vinaigrette away with some irritation, and said, ‘Thanks, but I never use those things. I’m not a fan of vinaigrettes.’

Miss Assher returned the vinaigrette to her pocket in surprise and haughty silence, and Captain Wybrow, who had looked on in some alarm, said hastily, ‘See! it is quite bright out of doors now. There is time for a walk before luncheon. Come, Beatrice, put on your hat and cloak, and let us have half an hour’s walk on the gravel.’

Miss Assher put the vinaigrette back in her pocket, surprised and silently annoyed. Captain Wybrow, who had been watching with some concern, quickly said, "Look! It’s really nice outside now. We have time for a walk before lunch. Come on, Beatrice, put on your hat and coat, and let’s take a thirty-minute stroll on the gravel."

‘Yes, do, my dear,’ said Lady Assher, ‘and I will go and see if Sir Christopher is having his walk in the gallery.’

‘Yes, please do, my dear,’ said Lady Assher, ‘and I will check if Sir Christopher is taking his walk in the gallery.’

As soon as the door had closed behind the two ladies, Captain Wybrow, standing with his back to the fire, turned towards Caterina, and said in a tone of earnest remonstrance, ‘My dear Caterina. Let me beg of you to exercise more control over your feelings; you are really rude to Miss Assher, and I can see that she is quite hurt. Consider how strange your behaviour must appear to her. She will wonder what can be the cause of it. Come, dear Tina,’ he added, approaching her, and attempting to take her hand; ‘for your own sake let me entreat you to receive her attentions politely. She really feels very kindly towards you, and I should be so happy to see you friends.’

As soon as the door closed behind the two ladies, Captain Wybrow, with his back to the fire, turned to Caterina and said in a serious tone, “My dear Caterina, please try to control your feelings more. You're being quite rude to Miss Assher, and I can tell she’s really hurt. Think about how odd your behavior must seem to her. She’ll be wondering what’s going on. Come on, dear Tina,” he added, approaching her and reaching for her hand, “for your own sake, I urge you to accept her kindness politely. She genuinely cares about you, and I would be so happy to see you two become friends.”

Caterina was already in such a state of diseased susceptibility that the most innocent words from Captain Wybrow would have been irritating to her, as the whirr of the most delicate wing will afflict a nervous patient. But this tone of benevolent remonstrance was intolerable. He had inflicted a great and unrepented injury on her, and now he assumed an air of benevolence towards her. This was a new outrage. His profession of goodwill was insolence.

Caterina was already in such a fragile state that even the most innocent words from Captain Wybrow would have annoyed her, just like the sound of the lightest wing can bother a nervous person. But his tone of supposed kindness was unbearable. He had caused her a deep and unacknowledged hurt, and now he acted like he cared about her. This felt like a new offense. His show of goodwill was just arrogance.

Caterina snatched away her hand and said indignantly, ‘Leave me to myself, Captain Wybrow! I do not disturb you.’

Caterina pulled her hand back and said angrily, "Leave me alone, Captain Wybrow! I'm not bothering you."

‘Caterina, why will you be so violent—so unjust to me? It is for you that I feel anxious. Miss Assher has already noticed how strange your behaviour is both to her and me, and it puts me into a very difficult position. What can I say to her?’

‘Caterina, why are you being so harsh—so unfair to me? I'm worried about you. Miss Assher has already seen how weird your behavior is towards both of us, and it's putting me in a really tough spot. What can I tell her?’

‘Say?’ Caterina burst forth with intense bitterness, rising, and moving towards the door; ‘say that I am a poor silly girl, and have fallen in love with you, and am jealous of her; but that you have never had any feeling but pity for me—you have never behaved with anything more than friendliness to me. Tell her that, and she will think all the better of you.’

‘Say?’ Caterina exclaimed with intense bitterness, standing up and moving toward the door. ‘Say that I’m just a silly girl who has fallen in love with you and is jealous of her; but that you’ve only ever felt pity for me—you’ve never treated me with anything more than friendship. Tell her that, and she’ll think better of you.’

Tina uttered this as the bitterest sarcasm her ideas would furnish her with, not having the faintest suspicion that the sarcasm derived any of its bitterness from truth. Underneath all her sense of wrong, which was rather instinctive than reflective—underneath all the madness of her jealousy, and her ungovernable impulses of resentment and vindictiveness—underneath all this scorching passion there were still left some hidden crystal dews of trust, of self-reproof, of belief that Anthony was trying to do the right. Love had not all gone to feed the fires of hatred. Tina still trusted that Anthony felt more for her than he seemed to feel; she was still far from suspecting him of a wrong which a woman resents even more than inconstancy. And she threw out this taunt simply as the most intense expression she could find for the anger of the moment.

Tina said this with the sharpest sarcasm her thoughts could come up with, not realizing that the bitterness came from a place of truth. Beneath all her sense of being wronged, which was more instinctive than thoughtful—underneath the wild jealousy, and her uncontrollable feelings of resentment and vindictiveness—underneath all this intense passion, there were still some hidden glimmers of trust, self-criticism, and a belief that Anthony was genuinely trying to do the right thing. Love hadn’t completely vanished to fuel the flames of hatred. Tina still believed that Anthony cared for her more than he showed; she was still far from thinking he had committed a betrayal that a woman resents even more than infidelity. She threw out this insult simply as the most powerful expression she could come up with for her anger in that moment.

As she stood nearly in the middle of the room, her little body trembling under the shock of passions too strong for it, her very lips pale, and her eyes gleaming, the door opened, and Miss Assher appeared, tall, blooming, and splendid, in her walking costume. As she entered, her face wore the smile appropriate to the exits and entrances of a young lady who feels that her presence is an interesting fact; but the next moment she looked at Caterina with grave surprise, and then threw a glance of angry suspicion at Captain Wybrow, who wore an air of weariness and vexation.

As she stood almost in the middle of the room, her small body shaking from emotions too intense for her, her lips pale and her eyes shining, the door opened, and Miss Assher walked in, tall, vibrant, and stunning in her outfit. As she came in, her face had the smile appropriate for a young lady who knows her presence is noteworthy; but in the next moment, she looked at Caterina with serious surprise and then shot a look of angry suspicion at Captain Wybrow, who appeared tired and irritated.

‘Perhaps you are too much engaged to walk out, Captain Wybrow? I will go alone.’

‘Maybe you’re too busy to go out, Captain Wybrow? I’ll go by myself.’

‘No, no, I am coming,’ he answered, hurrying towards her, and leading her out of the room; leaving poor Caterina to feel all the reaction of shame and self-reproach after her outburst of passion.

‘No, no, I'm coming,’ he replied, quickly moving towards her and guiding her out of the room; leaving poor Caterina to experience all the shame and self-blame after her outburst of emotion.

Chapter 12

‘Pray, what is likely to be the next scene in the drama between you and Miss Sarti?’ said Miss Assher to Captain Wybrow as soon as they were out on the gravel. ‘It would be agreeable to have some idea of what is coming.’

‘So, what’s probably going to happen next in the drama between you and Miss Sarti?’ Miss Assher asked Captain Wybrow as soon as they stepped onto the gravel. ‘It would be nice to have some idea of what’s coming.’

Captain Wybrow was silent. He felt out of humour, wearied, annoyed. There come moments when one almost determines never again to oppose anything but dead silence to an angry woman. ‘Now then, confound it,’ he said to himself, ‘I’m going to be battered on the other flank.’ He looked resolutely at the horizon, with something more like a frown on his face than Beatrice had ever seen there.

Captain Wybrow was quiet. He was in a bad mood, tired, and irritated. There are moments when you just decide to respond to an angry woman with nothing but silence. ‘Now then, damn it,’ he thought, ‘I’m about to get hit from another side.’ He stared determinedly at the horizon, wearing a frown that was more intense than anything Beatrice had ever seen on his face.

After a pause of two or three minutes, she continued in a still haughtier tone, ‘I suppose you are aware, Captain Wybrow, that I expect an explanation of what I have just seen.’

After a pause of two or three minutes, she continued in an even more arrogant tone, ‘I assume you know, Captain Wybrow, that I expect an explanation for what I just witnessed.’

‘I have no explanation, my dear Beatrice,’ he answered at last, making a strong effort over himself, ‘except what I have already given you. I hoped you would never recur to the subject.’

‘I don't have an explanation, my dear Beatrice,’ he finally replied, making a strong effort to control himself, ‘other than what I’ve already told you. I was hoping you wouldn’t bring it up again.’

‘Your explanation, however, is very far from satisfactory. I can only say that the airs Miss Sarti thinks herself entitled to put on towards you, are quite incompatible with your position as regards me. And her behaviour to me is most insulting. I shall certainly not stay in the house under such circumstances, and mamma must state the reasons to Sir Christopher.’

‘Your explanation is definitely not adequate. I can only say that the attitude Miss Sarti thinks she can take with you is completely incompatible with your position concerning me. And her behavior towards me is really insulting. I will not stay in the house under these circumstances, and Mom needs to explain the reasons to Sir Christopher.’

‘Beatrice,’ said Captain Wybrow, his irritation giving way to alarm, ‘I beseech you to be patient, and exercise your good feelings in this affair. It is very painful, I know, but I am sure you would be grieved to injure poor Caterina—to bring down my uncle’s anger upon her. Consider what a poor little dependent thing she is.’

‘Beatrice,’ said Captain Wybrow, his irritation turning to concern, ‘please try to be patient and show some compassion in this situation. I know it’s very difficult, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hurt poor Caterina or cause my uncle to unleash his anger on her. Think about how vulnerable she is.’

‘It is very adroit of you to make these evasions, but do not suppose that they deceive me. Miss Sarti would never dare to behave to you as she does, if you had not flirted with her, or made love to her. I suppose she considers your engagement to me a breach of faith to her. I am much obliged to you, certainly, for making me Miss Sarti’s rival. You have told me a falsehood, Captain Wybrow.’

‘You're being very clever with these dodges, but don’t think they fool me. Miss Sarti would never act towards you the way she does if you hadn’t flirted with her or made advances. I guess she thinks your engagement to me is a betrayal to her. I really appreciate you turning me into Miss Sarti’s rival. You’ve lied to me, Captain Wybrow.’

‘Beatrice, I solemnly declare to you that Caterina is nothing more to me than a girl I naturally feel kindly to—as a favourite of my uncle’s, and a nice little thing enough. I should be glad to see her married to Gilfil to-morrow; that’s a good proof that I’m not in love with her, I should think. As to the past, I may have shown her little attentions, which she has exaggerated and misinterpreted. What man is not liable to that sort of thing?’

‘Beatrice, I seriously declare to you that Caterina means nothing to me other than a girl I feel fond of—like a favorite of my uncle’s, and she’s pleasant enough. I’d be happy to see her marry Gilfil tomorrow; I think that’s good evidence that I'm not in love with her. As for the past, I might have given her some small gestures, which she has blown out of proportion and misunderstood. What man isn’t prone to that sort of thing?’

‘But what can she found her behaviour on? What had she been saying to you this morning to make her tremble and turn pale in that way?’

‘But what can she base her behavior on? What was she saying to you this morning that made her tremble and turn pale like that?’

‘O, I don’t know. I just said something about her behaving peevishly. With that Italian blood of hers, there’s no knowing how she may take what one says. She’s a fierce little thing, though she seems so quiet generally.’

‘Oh, I don’t know. I just mentioned something about her acting a bit irritable. With that Italian blood of hers, you never know how she might react to what you say. She’s a feisty little thing, even though she generally seems so calm.’

‘But she ought to be made to know how unbecoming and indelicate her conduct is. For my part, I wonder Lady Cheverel has not noticed her short answers and the airs she puts on.’

‘But she should be made to understand how inappropriate and rude her behavior is. Personally, I’m surprised Lady Cheverel hasn’t noticed her short responses and the pretentious attitude she puts on.’

‘Let me beg of you, Beatrice, not to hint anything of the kind to Lady Cheverel. You must have observed how strict my aunt is. It never enters her head that a girl can be in love with a man who has not made her an offer.’

‘Please, Beatrice, don’t mention anything like that to Lady Cheverel. You must have noticed how strict my aunt is. She can’t even imagine that a girl might be in love with a guy who hasn’t proposed to her.’

‘Well, I shall let Miss Sarti know myself that I have observed her conduct. It will be only a charity to her.’

‘Well, I’ll let Miss Sarti know myself that I’ve noticed her behavior. It would only be a kindness to her.’

‘Nay, dear, that will be doing nothing but harm. Caterina’s temper is peculiar. The best thing you can do will be to leave her to herself as much as possible. It will all wear off. I’ve no doubt she’ll be married to Gilfil before long. Girls’ fancies are easily diverted from one object to another. By jove, what a rate my heart is galloping at! These confounded palpitations get worse instead of better.’

‘No, dear, that will only cause trouble. Caterina’s mood is unpredictable. The best thing you can do is give her some space. This will all pass. I’m sure she’ll be engaged to Gilfil soon enough. Girls’ whims change quickly. Goodness, my heart is racing! These annoying palpitations just keep getting worse.’

Thus ended the conversation, so far as it concerned Caterina, not without leaving a distinct resolution in Captain Wybrow’s mind—a resolution carried into effect the next day, when he was in the library with Sir Christopher for the purpose of discussing some arrangements about the approaching marriage.

Thus ended the conversation about Caterina, but it left a clear decision in Captain Wybrow’s mind—a decision he acted on the next day when he was in the library with Sir Christopher to discuss some plans for the upcoming wedding.

‘By the by,’ he said carelessly, when the business came to a pause, and he was sauntering round the room with his hands in his coat-pockets, surveying the backs of the books that lined the walls, ‘when is the wedding between Gilfil and Caterina to come off, sir? I’ve a fellow-feeling for a poor devil so many fathoms deep in love as Maynard. Why shouldn’t their marriage happen as soon as ours? I suppose he has come to an understanding with Tina?’

‘By the way,’ he said casually, when the conversation paused, and he was strolling around the room with his hands in his coat pockets, looking at the spines of the books that lined the walls, ‘when is the wedding between Gilfil and Caterina taking place, sir? I can relate to a poor guy as hopelessly in love as Maynard. Why shouldn’t their marriage happen as soon as ours? I assume he and Tina have figured things out?’

‘Why,’ said Sir Christopher, ‘I did think of letting the thing be until old Crichley died; he can’t hold out very long, poor fellow; and then Maynard might have entered into matrimony and the rectory both at once. But, after all, that really is no good reason for waiting. There is no need for them to leave the Manor when they are married. The little monkey is quite old enough. It would be pretty to see her a matron, with a baby about the size of a kitten in her arms.’

‘Why,’ said Sir Christopher, ‘I was thinking of just waiting until old Crichley passed away; he can’t last much longer, poor guy; and then Maynard could get married and take over the rectory at the same time. But, really, that’s not a good reason to delay. They don’t need to leave the Manor once they’re married. The little monkey is old enough. It would be lovely to see her as a matron, holding a baby about the size of a kitten in her arms.’

‘I think that system of waiting is always bad. And if I can further any settlement you would like to make on Caterina, I shall be delighted to carry out your wishes.’

‘I believe that waiting around like that is never a good idea. If there's anything I can do to help with any arrangement you'd like to make for Caterina, I would be happy to fulfill your wishes.’

‘My dear boy, that’s very good of you; but Maynard will have enough; and from what I know of him—and I know him well—I think he would rather provide for Caterina himself. However, now you have put this matter into my head, I begin to blame myself for not having thought of it before. I’ve been so wrapt up in Beatrice and you, you rascal, that I had really forgotten poor Maynard. And he’s older than you—it’s high time he was settled in life as a family man.’

‘My dear boy, that’s really thoughtful of you; but Maynard will have enough, and from what I know about him—and I do know him well—I think he would prefer to take care of Caterina himself. However, now that you’ve brought this up, I start to feel guilty for not having thought of it sooner. I’ve been so caught up in Beatrice and you, you rascal, that I almost forgot about poor Maynard. And he’s older than you—it’s definitely time for him to settle down and start a family.’

Sir Christopher paused, took snuff in a meditative manner, and presently said, more to himself than to Anthony, who was humming a tune at the far end of the room, ‘Yes, yes. It will be a capital plan to finish off all our family business at once.’

Sir Christopher paused, took a pinch of snuff while deep in thought, and then said, more to himself than to Anthony, who was humming a tune at the other end of the room, ‘Yes, yes. It will be a great idea to wrap up all our family matters at once.’

Riding out with Miss Assher the same morning, Captain Wybrow mentioned to her incidentally, that Sir Christopher was anxious to bring about the wedding between Gilfil and Caterina as soon as possible, and that he, for his part, should do all he could to further the affair. It would be the best thing in the world for Tina, in whose welfare he was really interested.

Riding out with Miss Assher that same morning, Captain Wybrow casually mentioned to her that Sir Christopher was eager to arrange the wedding between Gilfil and Caterina as soon as possible, and that he, for his part, would do everything he could to support the situation. It would be the best thing for Tina, whose well-being he genuinely cared about.

With Sir Christopher there was never any long interval between purpose and execution. He made up his mind promptly, and he acted promptly. On rising from luncheon, he said to Mr. Gilfil, ‘Come with me into the library, Maynard. I want to have a word with you.’

With Sir Christopher, there was never a long gap between intention and action. He decided quickly and acted just as fast. After lunch, he said to Mr. Gilfil, "Come with me to the library, Maynard. I need to talk to you."

‘Maynard, my boy,’ he began, as soon as they were seated, tapping his snuff-box, and looking radiant at the idea of the unexpected pleasure he was about to give, ‘why shouldn’t we have two happy couples instead of one, before the autumn is over, eh?’

‘Maynard, my boy,’ he started, as soon as they were seated, tapping his snuff-box and looking thrilled at the thought of the surprise he was about to share, ‘why shouldn’t we have two happy couples instead of one before the fall is over, huh?’

‘Eh?’ he repeated, after a moment’s pause, lengthening out the monosyllable, taking a slow pinch, and looking up at Maynard with a sly smile.

‘Huh?’ he said again after a brief pause, stretching the single syllable, taking a slow pinch, and glancing up at Maynard with a sly smile.

‘I’m not quite sure that I understand you, sir,’ answered Mr. Gilfil, who felt annoyed at the consciousness that he was turning pale.

‘I’m not sure I understand you, sir,’ replied Mr. Gilfil, feeling annoyed that he was turning pale.

‘Not understand me, you rogue? You know very well whose happiness lies nearest to my heart after Anthony’s. You know you let me into your secrets long ago, so there’s no confession to make. Tina’s quite old enough to be a grave little wife now; and though the Rectory’s not ready for you, that’s no matter. My lady and I shall feel all the more comfortable for having you with us. We should miss our little singing-bird if we lost her all at once.’

‘Don’t get it, you rascal? You know exactly whose happiness matters to me the most after Anthony’s. You know you opened up to me about your secrets a long time ago, so there’s nothing to confess. Tina’s old enough to be a serious little wife now; and even though the Rectory isn’t ready for you yet, that doesn’t matter. My lady and I will feel much more at ease having you with us. We’d really miss our little singing-bird if we lost her all at once.’

Mr. Gilfil felt himself in a painfully difficult position. He dreaded that Sir Christopher should surmise or discover the true state of Caterina’s feelings, and yet he was obliged to make those feelings the ground of his reply.

Mr. Gilfil found himself in a really tough spot. He feared that Sir Christopher might guess or find out how Caterina really felt, and yet he had to base his response on those feelings.

‘My dear sir,’ he at last said with some effort, ‘you will not suppose that I am not alive to your goodness—that I am not grateful for your fatherly interest in my happiness; but I fear that Caterina’s feelings towards me are not such as to warrant the hope that she would accept a proposal of marriage from me.’

‘My dear sir,’ he finally said with some effort, ‘you won’t think that I don’t appreciate your kindness—that I’m not thankful for your fatherly concern for my happiness; but I’m afraid that Caterina’s feelings for me aren’t strong enough to justify the hope that she would accept a marriage proposal from me.’

‘Have you ever asked her?’

"Have you asked her yet?"

‘No, sir. But we often know these things too well without asking.’

‘No, sir. But we often know these things too well without asking.’

‘Pooh, pooh! the little monkey must love you. Why, you were her first playfellow; and I remember she used to cry if you cut your finger. Besides, she has always silently admitted that you were her lover. You know I have always spoken of you to her in that light. I took it for granted you had settled the business between yourselves; so did Anthony. Anthony thinks she’s in love with you, and he has young eyes, which are apt enough to see clearly in these matters. He was talking to me about it this morning, and pleased me very much by the friendly interest he showed in you and Tina.’

‘Pooh, pooh! The little monkey must love you. After all, you were her first playmate, and I remember she used to cry if you got a cut. Plus, she has always silently recognized that you were her sweetheart. You know I've always talked about you to her in that way. I thought you two had sorted things out between yourselves; so did Anthony. Anthony believes she’s in love with you, and he’s got young eyes, which are pretty good at seeing these things clearly. He was talking to me about it this morning, and I was really pleased by the genuine interest he showed in you and Tina.’

The blood—more than was wanted—rushed back to Mr. Gilfil’s face; he set his teeth and clenched his hands in the effort to repress a burst of indignation. Sir Christopher noticed the flush, but thought it indicated the fluctuation of hope and fear about Caterina. He went on:—‘You’re too modest by half, Maynard. A fellow who can take a five-barred gate as you can, ought not to be so faint-hearted. If you can’t speak to her yourself, leave me to talk to her.’

The blood—more than he wanted—rushed back to Mr. Gilfil's face; he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in an effort to hold back a surge of anger. Sir Christopher noticed the flush, but thought it showed the ups and downs of hope and fear regarding Caterina. He continued: “You’re being way too modest, Maynard. A guy who can clear a five-barred gate like you shouldn’t be so timid. If you can’t talk to her yourself, let me handle it.”

‘Sir Christopher,’ said poor Maynard earnestly, ‘I shall really feel it the greatest kindness you can possibly show me not to mention this subject to Caterina at present. I think such a proposal, made prematurely, might only alienate her from me.’

‘Sir Christopher,’ said poor Maynard earnestly, ‘I would truly appreciate it if you could avoid bringing this topic up with Caterina right now. I believe that mentioning it too soon could push her away from me.’

Sir Christopher was getting a little displeased at this contradiction. His tone became a little sharper as he said, ‘Have you any grounds to state for this opinion, beyond your general notion that Tina is not enough in love with you?’

Sir Christopher was getting a bit annoyed by this contradiction. His tone grew sharper as he said, ‘Do you have any reasons to back up this opinion, other than your general belief that Tina isn't in love with you enough?’

‘I can state none beyond my own very strong impression that she does not love me well enough to marry me.’

‘I can only share my strong feeling that she doesn’t love me enough to marry me.’

‘Then I think that ground is worth nothing at all. I am tolerably correct in my judgement of people; and if I am not very much deceived in Tina, she looks forward to nothing else but to your being her husband. Leave me to manage the matter as I think best. You may rely on me that I shall do no harm to your cause, Maynard.’

‘Then I think that land isn't worth anything at all. I'm pretty good at reading people; and if I'm not mistaken about Tina, she’s only hoping for you to be her husband. Let me handle this the way I think is best. You can trust me that I won’t do anything to hurt your cause, Maynard.’

Mr. Gilfil, afraid to say more, yet wretched in the prospect of what might result from Sir Christopher’s determination, quitted the library in a state of mingled indignation against Captain Wybrow, and distress for himself and Caterina. What would she think of him? She might suppose that he had instigated or sanctioned Sir Christopher’s proceeding. He should perhaps not have an opportunity of speaking to her on the subject in time; he would write her a note, and carry it up to her room after the dressing-bell had rung. No; that would agitate her, and unfit her for appearing at dinner, and passing the evening calmly. He would defer it till bed-time. After prayers, he contrived to lead her back to the drawing-room, and to put a letter in her hand. She carried it up to her own room, wondering, and there read—

Mr. Gilfil, too afraid to say more but feeling miserable about what might come from Sir Christopher’s decision, left the library in a mix of anger towards Captain Wybrow and worry for himself and Caterina. What would she think of him? She might assume that he had encouraged or approved of Sir Christopher’s actions. He might not have a chance to talk to her about it in time; he would write her a note and take it to her room after the dressing bell rang. No, that would upset her and make it hard for her to enjoy dinner and the evening. He decided to wait until bedtime. After prayers, he managed to lead her back to the drawing-room and slipped a letter into her hand. She took it up to her room, curious, and there read—

Dear Caterina,—Do not suspect for a moment that anything Sir Christopher may say to you about our marriage has been prompted by me. I have done all I dare do to dissuade him from urging the subject, and have only been prevented from speaking more strongly by the dread of provoking questions which I could not answer without causing you fresh misery. I write this, both to prepare you for anything Sir Christopher may say, and to assure you—but I hope you already believe it—that your feelings are sacred to me. I would rather part with the dearest hope of my life than be the means of adding to your trouble.

Hi Caterina,—Please don’t think for a second that anything Sir Christopher says about our marriage is because of me. I’ve done everything I can to steer him away from the topic, and I’ve only held back from being more direct because I fear it would lead to questions I couldn’t answer without bringing you more pain. I’m writing this both to prepare you for anything Sir Christopher might say and to reassure you—but I hope you already believe this—that your feelings are very important to me. I would rather give up the most cherished hope of my life than be the reason for adding to your distress.

‘It is Captain Wybrow who has prompted Sir Christopher to take up the subject at this moment. I tell you this, to save you from hearing it suddenly when you are with Sir Christopher. You see now what sort of stuff that dastard’s heart is made of. Trust in me always, dearest Caterina, as—whatever may come—your faithful friend and brother,

‘It’s Captain Wybrow who has encouraged Sir Christopher to bring this up right now. I’m telling you this so you don’t hear it out of the blue when you’re with Sir Christopher. You can see what kind of person that coward really is. Always trust me, my dear Caterina, as—no matter what happens—I will always be your loyal friend and brother.

Maynard Gilfil.’

‘Maynard Gilfil.’

Caterina was at first too terribly stung by the words about Captain Wybrow to think of the difficulty which threatened her—to think either of what Sir Christopher would say to her, or of what she could say in reply. Bitter sense of injury, fierce resentment, left no room for fear. With the poisoned garment upon him, the victim writhes under the torture—he has no thought of the coming death.

Caterina was initially too deeply hurt by what was said about Captain Wybrow to consider the difficulty looming ahead of her—whether it was what Sir Christopher would say to her or what she could possibly say in response. The intense feeling of betrayal and anger left no space for fear. Like a victim suffering from a poisoned wound, she was so consumed by her pain that she couldn’t even think about the inevitable outcome.

Anthony could do this!—Of this there could be no explanation but the coolest contempt for her feelings, the basest sacrifice of all the consideration and tenderness he owed her to the ease of his position with Miss Assher. No. It was worse than that: it was deliberate, gratuitous cruelty. He wanted to show her how he despised her; he wanted to make her feel her folly in having ever believed that he loved her.

Anthony could totally do this! There’s really no explanation for it other than a complete disregard for her feelings, the lowest level of sacrifice of all the consideration and care he owed her just to make things easier for himself with Miss Assher. No. It was worse than that: it was intentional, unnecessary cruelty. He wanted to make her see how much he looked down on her; he wanted to make her feel foolish for ever believing that he loved her.

The last crystal drops of trust and tenderness, she thought, were dried up; all was parched, fiery hatred. Now she need no longer check her resentment by the fear of doing him an injustice: he had trifled with her, as Maynard had said; he had been reckless of her; and now he was base and cruel. She had cause enough for her bitterness and anger; they were not so wicked as they had seemed to her.

The last bits of trust and affection, she thought, were gone; everything was dry and filled with fiery hate. She no longer needed to hold back her resentment out of fear of being unfair to him: he *had* played with her feelings, just as Maynard had said; he *had* been careless with her; and now he was mean and cruel. She had plenty of reasons for her bitterness and anger; they weren't as evil as they had seemed to her.

As these thoughts were hurrying after each other like so many sharp throbs of fevered pain, she shed no tear. She paced restlessly to and fro, as her habit was—her hands clenched, her eyes gleaming fiercely and wandering uneasily, as if in search of something on which she might throw herself like a tigress.

As these thoughts rushed through her mind like sharp bursts of intense pain, she didn’t shed a single tear. She paced back and forth restlessly, as she usually did—her hands clenched, her eyes shining fiercely and darting around, as if looking for something to lash out at like a tigress.

‘If I could speak to him,’ she whispered, ‘and tell him I hate him, I despise him, I loathe him!’

'If I could talk to him,' she whispered, 'and tell him I hate him, I can't stand him, I really dislike him!'

Suddenly, as if a new thought had struck her, she drew a key from her pocket, and, unlocking an inlaid desk where she stored up her keepsakes, took from it a small miniature. It was in a very slight gold frame, with a ring to it, as if intended to be worn on a chain; and under the glass at the back were two locks of hair, one dark and the other auburn, arranged in a fantastic knot. It was Anthony’s secret present to her a year ago—a copy he had had made specially for her. For the last month she had not taken it from its hiding-place: there was no need to heighten the vividness of the past. But now she clutched it fiercely, and dashed it across the room against the bare hearth-stone.

Suddenly, as if a new idea had come to her, she pulled a key from her pocket and unlocked an ornately designed desk where she kept her mementos. From it, she took out a small miniature. It was in a thin gold frame, with a ring attached, as if it was meant to be worn on a chain; and under the glass at the back were two locks of hair, one dark and the other auburn, arranged in an elaborate knot. It was Anthony’s secret gift to her from a year ago—a replica he had made just for her. For the past month, she hadn’t taken it from its hiding spot; there was no need to dwell on the memories. But now she clutched it tightly and threw it across the room against the bare hearth.

Will she crush it under her feet, and grind it under her high-heeled shoe, till every trace of those false cruel features is gone? Ah, no! She rushed across the room; but when she saw the little treasure she had cherished so fondly, so often smothered with kisses, so often laid under her pillow, and remembered with the first return of consciousness in the morning—when she saw this one visible relic of the too happy past lying with the glass shivered, the hair fallen out, the thin ivory cracked, there was a revulsion of the overstrained feeling: relenting came, and she burst into tears.

Will she stomp on it with her feet and grind it under her high-heeled shoe until every trace of those false, cruel features disappears? Ah, no! She rushed across the room; but when she saw the little treasure she had cherished so lovingly, so often smothered with kisses, so often tucked under her pillow and remembered first thing in the morning—when she saw this one visible reminder of the too-happy past lying there with the glass shattered, the hair fallen out, and the thin ivory cracked, she felt a wave of emotion wash over her: compassion took over, and she burst into tears.

Look at her stooping down to gather up her treasure, searching for the hair and replacing it, and then mournfully examining the crack that disfigures the once-loved image. Alas! there is no glass now to guard either the hair or the portrait; but see how carefully she wraps delicate paper round it, and locks it up again in its old place. Poor child! God send the relenting may always come before the worst irrevocable deed!

Look at her bending down to collect her treasure, looking for the hair and putting it back, and then sadly inspecting the crack that scars the once-beloved picture. Unfortunately, there’s no glass now to protect either the hair or the portrait; but see how carefully she wraps it in delicate paper and locks it away in its old spot. Poor girl! I hope that forgiveness always comes before the worst irreversible act!

This action had quieted her, and she sat down to read Maynard’s letter again. She read it two or three times without seeming to take in the sense; her apprehension was dulled by the passion of the last hour, and she found it difficult to call up the ideas suggested by the words. At last she began to have a distinct conception of the impending interview with Sir Christopher. The idea of displeasing the Baronet, of whom every one at the Manor stood in awe, frightened her so much that she thought it would be impossible to resist his wish. He believed that she loved Maynard; he had always spoken as if he were quite sure of it. How could she tell him he was deceived—and what if he were to ask her whether she loved anybody else? To have Sir Christopher looking angrily at her, was more than she could bear, even in imagination. He had always been so good to her! Then she began to think of the pain she might give him, and the more selfish distress of fear gave way to the distress of affection. Unselfish tears began to flow, and sorrowful gratitude to Sir Christopher helped to awaken her sensibility to Mr. Gilfil’s tenderness and generosity.

This action had calmed her, and she sat down to read Maynard’s letter again. She read it two or three times without really understanding it; her anxiety was muted by the emotions of the last hour, and she found it hard to grasp the ideas behind the words. Finally, she started to get a clear picture of the upcoming meeting with Sir Christopher. The thought of disappointing the Baronet, whom everyone at the Manor respected, scared her so much that she felt it would be impossible to go against his wishes. He thought she loved Maynard; he had always spoken like he was completely sure of it. How could she tell him he was mistaken—and what if he were to ask her if she loved anyone else? Just the idea of Sir Christopher looking at her angrily was more than she could handle, even in her imagination. He had always been so kind to her! Then she began to think about the pain she might cause him, and her initial selfish fear shifted to the distress of caring for him. Unselfish tears began to flow, and her sorrowful gratitude toward Sir Christopher helped her appreciate Mr. Gilfil’s kindness and generosity.

‘Dear, good Maynard!—what a poor return I make him! If I could but have loved him instead—but I can never love or care for anything again. My heart is broken.’

‘Dear, sweet Maynard!—what a terrible response I have for him! If only I could have loved him instead—but I can never love or care for anything again. My heart is shattered.’

Chapter 13

The next morning the dreaded moment came. Caterina, stupified by the suffering of the previous night, with that dull mental aching which follows on acute anguish, was in Lady Cheverel’s sitting-room, copying out some charity lists, when her ladyship came in, and said,—‘Tina, Sir Christopher wants you; go down into the library.’

The next morning, the moment everyone dreaded arrived. Caterina, dazed from the pain of the previous night and with that dull mental ache that follows intense distress, was in Lady Cheverel’s sitting room, copying some charity lists when her ladyship walked in and said, “Tina, Sir Christopher wants to see you; go down to the library.”

She went down trembling. As soon as she entered, Sir Christopher, who was seated near his writing-table, said, ‘Now, little monkey, come and sit down by me; I have something to tell you.’

She went down shaking. As soon as she walked in, Sir Christopher, who was sitting by his writing desk, said, ‘Now, little monkey, come and sit next to me; I have something to share with you.’

Caterina took a footstool, and seated herself on it at the Baronet’s feet. It was her habit to sit on these low stools, and in this way she could hide her face better. She put her little arm round his leg, and leaned her cheek against his knee.

Caterina grabbed a footstool and sat down at the Baronet’s feet. She usually sat on these low stools because it helped her hide her face better. She wrapped her small arm around his leg and leaned her cheek against his knee.

‘Why, you seem out of spirits this morning, Tina. What’s the matter, eh?’

‘Why do you look down this morning, Tina? What’s wrong, huh?’

‘Nothing, Padroncello; only my head is bad.’

‘Nothing, Padroncello; just my head hurts.’

‘Poor monkey! Well, now, wouldn’t it do the head good if I were to promise you a good husband, and smart little wedding-gowns, and by-and-by a house of your own, where you would be a little mistress, and Padroncello would come and see you sometimes?’

‘Poor monkey! Well, now, wouldn’t it make you feel better if I promised you a good husband, cute little wedding gowns, and eventually a house of your own, where you would be the little lady of the house, and Padroncello would come visit you sometimes?’

‘O no, no! I shouldn’t like ever to be married. Let me always stay with you!’

‘Oh no, no! I would never want to get married. Let me always stay with you!’

‘Pooh, pooh, little simpleton. I shall get old and tiresome, and there will be Anthony’s children putting your nose out of joint. You will want some one to love you best of all, and you must have children of your own to love. I can’t have you withering away into an old maid. I hate old maids: they make me dismal to look at them. I never see Sharp without shuddering. My little black-eyed monkey was never meant for anything so ugly. And there’s Maynard Gilfil the best man in the county, worth his weight in gold, heavy as he is; he loves you better than his eyes. And you love him too, you silly monkey, whatever you may say about not being married.’

‘Oh please, little silly. I’ll grow old and boring, and then there will be Anthony’s kids making you feel left out. You’ll want someone to love you the most, and you’ll need kids of your own to love. I can’t let you fade away into an old maid. I can’t stand old maids: they make me feel gloomy just looking at them. I can’t see Sharp without getting creeped out. My little black-eyed monkey was never meant for something so unpleasant. And then there's Maynard Gilfil, the best guy in the county, worth his weight in gold, no matter how heavy he is; he loves you more than anything. And you love him too, you silly monkey, no matter what you say about not wanting to get married.’

‘No, no, dear Padroncello, do not say so; I could not marry him.’

‘No, no, dear Padroncello, don’t say that; I couldn’t marry him.’

‘Why not, you foolish child? You don’t know your own mind. Why, it is plain to everybody that you love him. My lady has all along said she was sure you loved him—she has seen what little princess airs you put on to him; and Anthony too, he thinks you are in love with Gilfil. Come, what has made you take it into your head that you wouldn’t like to marry him?’

‘Why not, you silly girl? You don’t know what you really want. It’s obvious to everyone that you love him. My lady has always said she was sure you loved him—she has noticed how you act all princess-like around him; and Anthony too, he thinks you’re in love with Gilfil. Come on, what made you think you wouldn’t want to marry him?’

Caterina was now sobbing too deeply to make any answer. Sir Christopher patted her on the back and said, ‘Come, come; why, Tina, you are not well this morning. Go and rest, little one. You will see things in quite another light when you are well. Think over what I have said, and remember there is nothing, after Anthony’s marriage, that I have set my heart on so much as seeing you and Maynard settled for life. I must have no whims and follies—no nonsense.’ This was said with a slight severity; but he presently added, in a soothing tone, ‘There, there, stop crying, and be a good little monkey. Go and lie down and get to sleep.’

Caterina was crying too hard to respond. Sir Christopher gently patted her on the back and said, “Come on, Tina, you’re not feeling well this morning. Go rest, little one. You’ll see things differently once you feel better. Think about what I’ve said, and remember there’s nothing I want more after Anthony’s marriage than to see you and Maynard settled for life. I can’t deal with any whims or nonsense.” He said this a bit sternly but then continued in a calming voice, “There, there, stop crying, and be a good little monkey. Go lie down and get some sleep.”

Caterina slipped from the stool on to her knees, took the old Baronet’s hand, covered it with tears and kisses, and then ran out of the room.

Caterina slid off the stool onto her knees, took the old Baronet's hand, covered it with tears and kisses, and then rushed out of the room.

Before the evening, Captain Wybrow had heard from his uncle the result of the interview with Caterina. He thought, ‘If I could have a long quiet talk with her, I could perhaps persuade her to look more reasonably at things. But there’s no speaking to her in the house without being interrupted, and I can hardly see her anywhere else without Beatrice’s finding it out.’ At last he determined to make it a matter of confidence with Miss Assher—to tell her that he wished to talk to Caterina quietly for the sake of bringing her to a calmer state of mind, and persuade her to listen to Gilfil’s affection. He was very much pleased with this judicious and candid plan, and in the course of the evening he had arranged with himself the time and place of meeting, and had communicated his purpose to Miss Assher, who gave her entire approval. Anthony, she thought, would do well to speak plainly and seriously to Miss Sarti. He was really very patient and kind to her, considering how she behaved.

Before the evening, Captain Wybrow had heard from his uncle about the outcome of the interview with Caterina. He thought, ‘If I could have a long, quiet talk with her, I might be able to persuade her to see things more clearly. But there’s no way to talk to her at home without getting interrupted, and I can hardly meet her anywhere else without Beatrice finding out.’ Finally, he decided to confide in Miss Assher—telling her that he wanted to speak to Caterina privately to help her calm down and convince her to consider Gilfil’s feelings. He felt very satisfied with this thoughtful and honest plan, and during the evening, he worked out the time and place for their meeting and shared his plan with Miss Assher, who fully supported it. She believed that Anthony should speak openly and seriously to Miss Sarti. He was really quite patient and kind with her, considering how she acted.

Tina had kept her room all that day, and had been carefully tended as an invalid, Sir Christopher having told her ladyship how matters stood. This tendance was so irksome to Caterina, she felt so uneasy under attentions and kindness that were based on a misconception, that she exerted herself to appear at breakfast the next morning, and declared herself well, though head and heart were throbbing. To be confined in her own room was intolerable; it was wretched enough to be looked at and spoken to, but it was more wretched to be left alone. She was frightened at her own sensations: she was frightened at the imperious vividness with which pictures of the past and future thrust themselves on her imagination. And there was another feeling, too, which made her want to be down-stairs and moving about. Perhaps she might have an opportunity of speaking to Captain Wybrow alone—of speaking those words of hatred and scorn that burned on her tongue. That opportunity offered itself in a very unexpected manner.

Tina had spent the entire day in her room, being looked after like an invalid, since Sir Christopher had informed her ladyship about the situation. This attention bothered Caterina so much; she felt uneasy with the kindness that was based on a misunderstanding. She made an effort to join breakfast the next morning and claimed she was fine, even though her head and heart were racing. Being stuck in her own room was unbearable; it was miserable enough to be stared at and spoken to, but even worse to be left alone. She was terrified by her own feelings: the intense clarity with which memories of the past and visions of the future invaded her mind was overwhelming. There was also another feeling that made her want to be downstairs and moving around. Maybe she could find a chance to talk to Captain Wybrow alone— to say the words of hatred and contempt that were burning in her throat. That chance came in a very unexpected way.

Lady Cheverel having sent Caterina out of the drawing-room to fetch some patterns of embroidery from her sitting-room, Captain Wybrow presently walked out after her, and met her as she was returning down-stairs.

Lady Cheverel had sent Caterina out of the drawing-room to grab some embroidery patterns from her sitting room. Captain Wybrow soon followed her and ran into her as she was coming back down the stairs.

‘Caterina,’ he said, laying his hand on her arm as she was hurrying on without looking at him, ‘will you meet me in the Rookery at twelve o’clock? I must speak to you, and we shall be in privacy there. I cannot speak to you in the house.’

‘Caterina,’ he said, placing his hand on her arm as she rushed past without looking at him, ‘will you meet me in the Rookery at twelve o’clock? I need to talk to you, and we can have some privacy there. I can’t talk to you in the house.’

To his surprise, there was a flash of pleasure across her face; she answered shortly and decidedly, ‘Yes’, then snatched her arm away from him, and passed down-stairs.

To his surprise, she lit up with pleasure; she replied quickly and firmly, "Yes," then pulled her arm away from him and walked downstairs.

Miss Assher was this morning busy winding silks, being bent on emulating Lady Cheverel’s embroidery, and Lady Assher chose the passive amusement of holding the skeins. Lady Cheverel had now all her working apparatus about her, and Caterina, thinking she was not wanted, went away and sat down to the harpsichord in the sitting-room. It seemed as if playing massive chords—bringing out volumes of sound, would be the easiest way of passing the long feverish moments before twelve o’clock. Handel’s Messiah stood open on the desk, at the chorus ‘All we like sheep’, and Caterina threw herself at once into the impetuous intricacies of that magnificent fugue. In her happiest moments she could never have played it so well: for now all the passion that made her misery was hurled by a convulsive effort into her music, just as pain gives new force to the clutch of the sinking wrestler, and as terror gives farsounding intensity to the shriek of the feeble.

Miss Assher was busy winding silks this morning, determined to imitate Lady Cheverel’s embroidery, while Lady Assher opted for the simple task of holding the skeins. Lady Cheverel had all her crafting tools around her, and Caterina, thinking she wasn’t needed, went to the harpsichord in the sitting room. It seemed like playing bold chords—creating a rich sound—would be the easiest way to get through the long, restless moments before noon. Handel’s Messiah was open on the stand, at the chorus ‘All we like sheep’, and Caterina immediately immersed herself in the exhilarating complexities of that beautiful fugue. In her happiest moments, she could never have played it this well: now all the emotion from her misery was channeled into her music with a fierce effort, just like pain can give a desperate wrestler added strength, and fear can amplify the scream of the weak.

But at half-past eleven she was interrupted by Lady Cheverel, who said, ‘Tina, go down, will you, and hold Miss Assher’s silks for her. Lady Assher and I have decided on having our drive before luncheon.’

But at 11:30, she was interrupted by Lady Cheverel, who said, ‘Tina, could you go downstairs and hold Miss Assher’s silks for her? Lady Assher and I have decided to take our drive before lunch.’

Caterina went down, wondering how she should escape from the drawing-room in time to be in the Rookery at twelve. Nothing should prevent her from going; nothing should rob her of this one precious moment—perhaps the last—when she could speak out the thoughts that were in her. After that, she would be passive; she would bear anything.

Caterina went downstairs, thinking about how she could sneak away from the drawing room and make it to the Rookery by noon. Nothing should stop her from going; nothing should take away this one important moment—maybe the last—when she could express what was on her mind. After that, she would be submissive; she would endure whatever came her way.

But she had scarcely sat down with a skein of yellow silk on her hands, when Miss Assher said, graciously,—‘I know you have an engagement with Captain Wybrow this morning. You must not let me detain you beyond the time.’

But she had hardly sat down with a skein of yellow silk in her hands when Miss Assher said, graciously, “I know you have plans with Captain Wybrow this morning. I don't want to keep you longer than necessary.”

‘So he has been talking to her about me,’ thought Caterina. Her hands began to tremble as she held the skein.

‘So he’s been talking to her about me,’ thought Caterina. Her hands started to shake as she held the skein.

Miss Assher continued in the same gracious tone: ‘It is tedious work holding these skeins. I am sure I am very much obliged to you.’

Miss Assher continued in the same polite tone: ‘It's such a tedious job holding these skeins. I really appreciate it.’

‘No, you are not obliged to me,’ said Caterina, completely mastered by her irritation; ‘I have only done it because Lady Cheverel told me.’

‘No, you don’t owe me anything,’ Caterina said, completely overwhelmed by her irritation. ‘I only did it because Lady Cheverel asked me to.’

The moment was come when Miss Assher could no longer suppress her long latent desire to ‘let Miss Sarti know the impropriety of her conduct.’ With the malicious anger that assumes the tone of compassion, she said,—‘Miss Sarti, I am really sorry for you, that you are not able to control yourself better. This giving way to unwarrantable feelings is lowering you—it is indeed.’

The moment had arrived when Miss Assher could no longer hold back her long-buried desire to "let Miss Sarti know how inappropriate her behavior is." With the spiteful anger that pretends to be compassion, she said, “Miss Sarti, I really feel sorry for you that you can’t control yourself better. Giving in to these unacceptable feelings is dragging you down—it truly is.”

‘What unwarrantable feelings?’ said Caterina, letting her hands fall, and fixing her great dark eyes steadily on Miss Assher.

‘What unreasonable feelings?’ said Caterina, dropping her hands and fixing her large dark eyes firmly on Miss Assher.

‘It is quite unnecessary for me to say more. You must be conscious what I mean. Only summon a sense of duty to your aid. You are paining Captain Wybrow extremely by your want of self-control.’

‘There’s no need for me to say more. You know what I’m getting at. Just tap into your sense of duty. You're causing Captain Wybrow a lot of pain with your lack of self-control.’

‘Did he tell you I pained him?’

‘Did he tell you I hurt him?’

‘Yes, indeed, he did. He is very much hurt that you should behave to me as if you had a sort of enmity towards me. He would like you to make a friend of me. I assure you we both feel very kindly towards you, and are sorry you should cherish such feelings.’

‘Yes, definitely, he did. He's really hurt that you’re treating me like you have some sort of grudge against me. He wishes you would befriend me. I promise you, we both feel really warmly towards you, and we’re sorry that you hold onto those feelings.’

‘He is very good,’ said Caterina, bitterly. ‘What feelings did he say I cherished?’

‘He is really good,’ said Caterina, bitterly. ‘What feelings did he say I had?’

This bitter tone increased Miss Assher’s irritation. There was still a lurking suspicion in her mind, though she would not admit it to herself, that Captain Wybrow had told her a falsehood about his conduct and feelings towards Caterina. It was this suspicion, more even than the anger of the moment, which urged her to say something that would test the truth of his statement. That she would be humiliating Caterina at the same time, was only an additional temptation.

This bitter tone only intensified Miss Assher's irritation. She had a nagging suspicion in her mind, though she wouldn't admit it to herself, that Captain Wybrow had lied to her about how he felt and acted towards Caterina. It was this suspicion, even more than her momentary anger, that pushed her to say something to check the truth of his claim. Humiliating Caterina at the same time was just an extra temptation.

‘These are things I do not like to talk of, Miss Sarti. I cannot even understand how a woman can indulge a passion for a man who has never given her the least ground for it, as Captain Wybrow assures me is the case.’

‘These are things I don’t like to discuss, Miss Sarti. I can’t even grasp how a woman can develop feelings for a man who has never shown her any reason to do so, as Captain Wybrow tells me is true.’

‘He told you that, did he?’ said Caterina, in clear low tones, her lips turning white as she rose from her chair.

‘He told you that, did he?’ Caterina said, her voice steady and calm, her lips turning pale as she got up from her chair.

‘Yes, indeed, he did. He was bound to tell it me after your strange behaviour.’

‘Yes, he definitely did. He had to tell me after your odd behavior.’

Caterina said nothing, but turned round suddenly and left the room.

Caterina didn't say anything, but suddenly turned around and left the room.

See how she rushes noiselessly, like a pale meteor, along the passages and up the gallery stairs! Those gleaming eyes, those bloodless lips, that swift silent tread, make her look like the incarnation of a fierce purpose, rather than a woman. The mid-day sun is shining on the armour in the gallery, making mimic suns on bossed sword-hilts and the angles of polished breast-plates. Yes, there are sharp weapons in the gallery. There is a dagger in that cabinet; she knows it well. And as a dragon-fly wheels in its flight to alight for an instant on a leaf, she darts to the cabinet, takes out the dagger, and thrusts it into her pocket. In three minutes more she is out, in hat and cloak, on the gravel-walk, hurrying along towards the thick shades of the distant Rookery. She threads the windings of the plantations, not feeling the golden leaves that rain upon her, not feeling the earth beneath her feet. Her hand is in her pocket, clenching the handle of the dagger, which she holds half out of its sheath.

See how she rushes silently, like a pale shooting star, through the hallways and up the gallery stairs! Those shining eyes, those pale lips, that quick, quiet stride make her seem more like an embodiment of fierce determination than a woman. The midday sun is shining on the armor in the gallery, creating little sunbursts on the intricate sword hilts and the angles of polished breastplates. Yes, there are sharp weapons in the gallery. She knows there's a dagger in that cabinet. And like a dragonfly that circles in the air before landing briefly on a leaf, she darts to the cabinet, pulls out the dagger, and slips it into her pocket. In just three minutes, she is out, wearing a hat and cloak, hurrying along the gravel path toward the thick shade of the distant Rookery. She weaves through the winding paths of the trees, oblivious to the golden leaves that fall around her, and unaware of the ground beneath her feet. Her hand is in her pocket, gripping the handle of the dagger, which she holds half out of its sheath.

She has reached the Rookery, and is under the gloom of the interlacing boughs. Her heart throbs as if it would burst her bosom—as if every next leap must be its last. Wait, wait, O heart!—till she has done this one deed. He will be there—he will be before her in a moment. He will come towards her with that false smile, thinking she does not know his baseness—she will plunge that dagger into his heart.

She has arrived at the Rookery, standing under the gloomy branches that are woven together. Her heart beats like it might explode—as if each next beat could be its last. Hold on, hold on, oh heart!—until she finishes this one task. He will be there—he’ll be in front of her any moment now. He will approach her with that insincere smile, believing she is oblivious to his deceit—she will drive that dagger into his heart.

Poor child! poor child! she who used to cry to have the fish put back into the water—who never willingly killed the smallest living thing—dreams now, in the madness of her passion, that she can kill the man whose very voice unnerves her.

Poor child! Poor child! She who used to cry to have the fish put back into the water—who never willingly killed the smallest living thing—now dreams, in the madness of her passion, that she can kill the man whose very voice gets on her nerves.

But what is that lying among the dank leaves on the path three yards before her?

But what is that lying among the damp leaves on the path three yards ahead of her?

Good God! it is he—lying motionless—his hat fallen off. He is ill, then—he has fainted. Her hand lets go the dagger, and she rushes towards him. His eyes are fixed; he does not see her. She sinks down on her knees, takes the dear head in her arms, and kisses the cold forehead.

Good God! It's him—lying there without moving—his hat has fallen off. He's sick, then—he's fainted. She drops the dagger and rushes over to him. His eyes are staring; he doesn't see her. She sinks to her knees, cradles his dear head in her arms, and kisses his cold forehead.

‘Anthony, Anthony! speak to me—it is Tina—speak to me! O God, he is dead!’

‘Anthony, Anthony! Talk to me—it’s Tina—talk to me! Oh God, he’s dead!’

Chapter 14

‘Yes, Maynard,’ said Sir Christopher, chatting with Mr. Gilfil in the library, ‘it really is a remarkable thing that I never in my life laid a plan, and failed to carry it out. I lay my plans well, and I never swerve from them—that’s it. A strong will is the only magic. And next to striking out one’s plans, the pleasantest thing in the world is to see them well accomplished. This year, now, will be the happiest of my life, all but the year ’53, when I came into possession of the Manor, and married Henrietta. The last touch is given to the old house; Anthony’s marriage—the thing I had nearest my heart—is settled to my entire satisfaction; and by-and-by you will be buying a little wedding-ring for Tina’s finger. Don’t shake your head in that forlorn way;—when I make prophecies they generally come to pass. But there’s a quarter after twelve striking. I must be riding to the High Ash to meet Markham about felling some timber. My old oaks will have to groan for this wedding, but’—

‘Yes, Maynard,’ said Sir Christopher, chatting with Mr. Gilfil in the library, ‘it’s really impressive that I’ve never made a plan in my life and not followed through. I make my plans carefully, and I never stray from them—that’s the key. A strong will is the only real magic. And aside from executing my plans, the best thing in the world is to see them successfully completed. This year, for instance, will be the happiest of my life, right after 1853, when I took over the Manor and married Henrietta. The final touches are being added to the old house; Anthony’s wedding—the thing I cared about most—is settled to my complete satisfaction; and soon you’ll be buying a little wedding ring for Tina. Don’t shake your head like that—when I make predictions, they usually come true. But it’s a quarter past twelve. I need to head to High Ash to meet Markham about cutting some timber. My old oaks will have to suffer for this wedding, but’—

The door burst open, and Caterina, ghastly and panting, her eyes distended with terror, rushed in, threw her arms round Sir Christopher’s neck, and gasping out—‘Anthony ... the Rookery ... dead ... in the Rookery’, fell fainting on the floor.

The door flew open, and Caterina, pale and out of breath, her eyes wide with fear, rushed in, wrapped her arms around Sir Christopher's neck, and gasping, said, "Anthony... the Rookery... dead... in the Rookery," before collapsing on the floor.

In a moment Sir Christopher was out of the room, and Mr. Gilfil was bending to raise Caterina in his arms. As he lifted her from the ground he felt something hard and heavy in her pocket. What could it be? The weight of it would be enough to hurt her as she lay. He carried her to the sofa, put his hand in her pocket, and drew forth the dagger.

In a moment, Sir Christopher was out of the room, and Mr. Gilfil was bending down to lift Caterina into his arms. As he picked her up from the ground, he felt something hard and heavy in her pocket. What could it be? The weight of it could hurt her while she was lying there. He carried her to the sofa, reached into her pocket, and pulled out the dagger.

Maynard shuddered. Did she mean to kill herself, then, or ... or ... a horrible suspicion forced itself upon him. ‘Dead—in the Rookery.’ He hated himself for the thought that prompted him to draw the dagger from its sheath. No! there was no trace of blood, and he was ready to kiss the good steel for its innocence. He thrust the weapon into his own pocket; he would restore it as soon as possible to its well-known place in the gallery. Yet, why had Caterina taken this dagger? What was it that had happened in the Rookery? Was it only a delirious vision of hers?

Maynard shuddered. Did she mean to kill herself, then, or ... or ... a horrible suspicion crept into his mind. ‘Dead—in the Rookery.’ He despised himself for the thought that made him pull the dagger from its sheath. No! there was no trace of blood, and he was grateful to the good steel for its innocence. He shoved the weapon into his pocket; he would return it to its usual spot in the gallery as soon as he could. But why had Caterina taken this dagger? What had happened in the Rookery? Was it just a delirious vision of hers?

He was afraid to ring—afraid to summon any one to Caterina’s assistance. What might she not say when she awoke from this fainting fit? She might be raving. He could not leave her, and yet he felt as if he were guilty for not following Sir Christopher to see what was the truth. It took but a moment to think and feel all this, but that moment seemed such a long agony to him that he began to reproach himself for letting it pass without seeking some means of reviving Caterina. Happily the decanter of water on Sir Christopher’s table was untouched. He would at least try the effect of throwing that water over her. She might revive without his needing to call any one else. Meanwhile Sir Christopher was hurrying at his utmost speed towards the Rookery; his face, so lately bright and confident, now agitated by a vague dread. The deep alarmed bark of Rupert, who ran by his side, had struck the ear of Mr. Bates, then on his way homeward, as something unwonted, and, hastening in the direction of the sound, he met the Baronet just as he was approaching the entrance of the Rookery. Sir Christopher’s look was enough. Mr. Bates said nothing, but hurried along by his side, while Rupert dashed forward among the dead leaves with his nose to the ground. They had scarcely lost sight of him a minute when a change in the tone of his bark told them that he had found something, and in another instant he was leaping back over one of the large planted mounds. They turned aside to ascend the mound, Rupert leading them; the tumultuous cawing of the rooks, the very rustling of the leaves, as their feet plunged among them, falling like an evil omen on the Baronet’s ear.

He was hesitant to ring the bell—worried about calling anyone to help Caterina. What might she say when she woke up from this fainting spell? She could be delirious. He couldn’t leave her, but he also felt guilty for not following Sir Christopher to find out what really happened. It only took a moment to think and feel all of this, but that moment felt like an eternity of agony, and he started to blame himself for not doing something to revive Caterina. Luckily, the decanter of water on Sir Christopher’s table was still full. He would at least try throwing that water on her. She might come around without him needing to call anyone else. Meanwhile, Sir Christopher was rushing as fast as he could toward the Rookery; his face, once bright and confident, now showed signs of vague fear. The deep, urgent bark of Rupert, who was running beside him, caught Mr. Bates’s attention as he was heading home. It sounded unusual, so he hurried toward the sound and met the Baronet just as he was reaching the entrance of the Rookery. Sir Christopher’s expression said it all. Mr. Bates didn’t say a word but quickened his pace alongside him, while Rupert sprinted ahead, sniffing the ground among the dead leaves. They had barely lost sight of him for a minute when a change in the tone of his bark signaled that he had found something, and in an instant, he was bounding back over one of the large mounds. They turned to climb the mound, with Rupert leading the way; the chaotic cawing of the rooks and the rustling of the leaves beneath their feet fell like an ominous sign in the Baronet’s ears.

They had reached the summit of the mound, and had begun to descend. Sir Christopher saw something purple down on the path below among the yellow leaves. Rupert was already beside it, but Sir Christopher could not move faster. A tremor had taken hold of the firm limbs. Rupert came back and licked the trembling hand, as if to say ‘Courage!’ and then was down again snuffing the body. Yes, it was a body ... Anthony’s body. There was the white hand with its diamond-ring clutching the dark leaves. His eyes were half open, but did not heed the gleam of sunlight that darted itself directly on them from between the boughs.

They had reached the top of the hill and began to go down. Sir Christopher noticed something purple on the path below among the yellow leaves. Rupert was already by it, but Sir Christopher couldn’t move any faster. A tremor had gripped his strong limbs. Rupert came back and licked his trembling hand, as if to say, “Stay brave!” and then he was back down, sniffing the body. Yes, it was a body... Anthony’s body. There was the white hand with the diamond ring clutching the dark leaves. His eyes were half open, but they didn’t register the sunlight that was shining directly on them through the branches.

Still he might only have fainted; it might only be a fit. Sir Christopher knelt down, unfastened the cravat, unfastened the waistcoat, and laid his hand on the heart. It might be syncope; it might not—it could not be death. No! that thought must be kept far off.

Still, he might have just fainted; it might just be a seizure. Sir Christopher knelt down, untied the cravat, unbuttoned the waistcoat, and placed his hand on the heart. It could be syncope; it might not—it couldn’t be death. No! That thought must be kept far away.

‘Go, Bates, get help; we’ll carry him to your cottage. Send some one to the house to tell Mr. Gilfil and Warren. Bid them send off for Doctor Hart, and break it to my lady and Miss Assher that Anthony is ill.’

‘Go, Bates, get help; we’ll take him to your cottage. Send someone to the house to tell Mr. Gilfil and Warren. Ask them to call for Doctor Hart, and let my lady and Miss Assher know that Anthony is sick.’

Mr. Bates hastened away, and the Baronet was left alone kneeling beside the body. The young and supple limbs, the rounded cheeks, the delicate ripe lips, the smooth white hands, were lying cold and rigid; and the aged face was bending over them in silent anguish; the aged deep-veined hands were seeking with tremulous inquiring touches for some symptom that life was not irrevocably gone.

Mr. Bates hurried away, leaving the Baronet alone kneeling beside the body. The young, flexible limbs, the round cheeks, the soft, ripe lips, and the smooth white hands lay cold and stiff; and the older face leaned over them in silent grief. The aged, veined hands searched with shaky, probing touches for any sign that life was not permanently lost.

Rupert was there too, waiting and watching; licking first the dead and then the living hands; then running off on Mr. Bates’s track as if he would follow and hasten his return, but in a moment turning back again, unable to quit the scene of his master’s sorrow.

Rupert was there too, waiting and watching; licking the hands of the dead first and then those of the living; then darting off in the direction of Mr. Bates as if he wanted to follow him and speed up his return, but a moment later turning back again, unable to leave the place of his master’s grief.

Chapter 15

It is a wonderful moment, the first time we stand by one who has fainted, and witness the fresh birth of consciousness spreading itself over the blank features, like the rising sunlight on the alpine summits that lay ghastly and dead under the leaden twilight. A slight shudder, and the frost-bound eyes recover their liquid light; for an instant they show the inward semi-consciousness of an infant’s; then, with a little start, they open wider and begin to look; the present is visible, but only as a strange writing, and the interpreter Memory is not yet there.

It’s a remarkable moment when we first stand beside someone who has fainted and watch as their awareness slowly returns, spreading over their blank face like sunlight creeping over cold, lifeless mountain peaks that were shrouded in gray twilight. A slight shiver runs through them, and their frozen eyes regain their sparkle; for a moment, they reveal the semi-conscious state of an infant’s; then, with a small jolt, they open wider and start to look around; the present is there, but it feels like a foreign language, and the translator, Memory, hasn’t arrived yet.

Mr. Gilfil felt a trembling joy as this change passed over Caterina’s face. He bent over her, rubbing her chill hands, and looking at her with tender pity as her dark eyes opened on him wonderingly. He thought there might be some wine in the dining-room close by. He left the room, and Caterina’s eyes turned towards the window—towards Sir Christopher’s chair. There was the link at which the chain of consciousness had snapped, and the events of the morning were beginning to recur dimly like a half-remembered dream, when Maynard returned with some wine. He raised her, and she drank it; but still she was silent, seeming lost in the attempt to recover the past, when the door opened, and Mr. Warren appeared with looks that announced terrible tidings. Mr. Gilfil, dreading lest he should tell them in Caterina’s presence, hurried towards him with his finger on his lips, and drew him away into the dining-room on the opposite side of the passage.

Mr. Gilfil felt a wave of joy as he saw the change in Caterina's expression. He leaned over her, warming her cold hands and gazing at her with compassion as her dark eyes opened in surprise. He remembered there might be some wine in the dining room nearby. He left the room, and Caterina’s eyes drifted toward the window—toward Sir Christopher’s chair. That was where the chain of her awareness had broken, and the events of the morning were starting to come back to her, like a hazy dream, when Maynard returned with some wine. He helped her sit up, and she drank it; yet she remained quiet, seeming lost in her effort to piece together the past, when the door opened and Mr. Warren entered, looking as if he had terrible news. Mr. Gilfil, fearing he might share it in Caterina’s presence, quickly motioned for silence and led him away into the dining room on the other side of the hallway.

Caterina, revived by the stimulant, was now recovering the full consciousness of the scene in the Rookery. Anthony was lying there dead; she had left him to tell Sir Christopher; she must go and see what they were doing with him; perhaps he was not really dead—only in a trance; people did fall into trances sometimes. While Mr. Gilfil was telling Warren how it would be best to break the news to Lady Cheverel and Miss Assher, anxious himself to return to Caterina, the poor child had made her way feebly to the great entrance-door, which stood open. Her strength increased as she moved and breathed the fresh air, and with every increase of strength came increased vividness of emotion, increased yearning to be where her thought was—in the Rookery with Anthony. She walked more and more swiftly, and at last, gathering the artificial strength of passionate excitement, began to run.

Caterina, energized by the stimulant, was now regaining full awareness of the scene in the Rookery. Anthony was lying there dead; she had left him to inform Sir Christopher; she needed to go see what they were doing with him; maybe he wasn't really dead—just in a trance; people sometimes fell into trances. While Mr. Gilfil was explaining to Warren how to best break the news to Lady Cheverel and Miss Assher, eager to return to Caterina himself, the poor girl had managed to make her way weakly to the large entrance door, which stood open. Her strength grew as she moved and breathed in the fresh air, and with every boost of energy came an intensifying emotional awareness, a stronger desire to be where her thoughts were—in the Rookery with Anthony. She walked faster and faster, and finally, fueled by a surge of passionate excitement, she started to run.

But now she heard the tread of heavy steps, and under the yellow shade near the wooden bridge she saw men slowly carrying something. Soon she was face to face with them. Anthony was no longer in the Rookery: they were carrying him stretched on a door, and there behind him was Sir Christopher, with the firmly-set mouth, the deathly paleness, and the concentrated expression of suffering in the eye, which mark the suppressed grief of the strong man. The sight of this face, on which Caterina had never before beheld the signs of anguish, caused a rush of new feeling which for the moment submerged all the rest. She went gently up to him, put her little hand in his, and walked in silence by his side. Sir Christopher could not tell her to leave him, and so she went on with that sad procession to Mr. Bates’s cottage in the Mosslands, and sat there in silence, waiting and watching to know if Anthony were really dead. She had not yet missed the dagger from her pocket; she had not yet even thought of it. At the sight of Anthony lying dead, her nature had rebounded from its new bias of resentment and hatred to the old sweet habit of love. The earliest and the longest has still the mastery over us; and the only past that linked itself with those glazed unconscious eyes, was the past when they beamed on her with tenderness. She forgot the interval of wrong and jealousy and hatred—all his cruelty, and all her thoughts of revenge—as the exile forgets the stormy passage that lay between home and happiness and the dreary land in which he finds himself desolate.

But now she heard the sound of heavy footsteps, and under the yellow light near the wooden bridge, she saw men slowly carrying something. Soon she was face to face with them. Anthony was no longer in the Rookery; they were carrying him stretched out on a door, and there behind him was Sir Christopher, with a tightly set mouth, a deathly pallor, and the concentrated expression of suffering in his eyes that reveal the quiet grief of a strong man. The sight of this face, on which Caterina had never before seen signs of anguish, triggered a wave of new feelings that temporarily drowned out everything else. She gently approached him, placed her small hand in his, and walked silently by his side. Sir Christopher couldn’t tell her to leave him, so she continued with that somber procession to Mr. Bates’s cottage in the Mosslands, sitting there in silence, waiting and watching to see if Anthony was really dead. She hadn’t yet noticed the dagger missing from her pocket; she hadn’t even thought of it. At the sight of Anthony lying dead, her feelings bounced back from anger and resentment to the familiar comfort of love. The past that had the strongest hold on us is often the earliest; and the only memories that connected with those unseeing eyes were when they looked at her with tenderness. She forgot the time of hurt, jealousy, and resentment—all his cruelty, and all her thoughts of revenge—as the exile forgets the turbulent journey between home and happiness, and the desolate land where he finds himself.

Chapter 16

Before night all hope was gone. Dr Hart had said it was death; Anthony’s body had been carried to the house, and every one there knew the calamity that had fallen on them.

Before nightfall, all hope was lost. Dr. Hart had declared it was death; Anthony’s body had been brought to the house, and everyone there knew the tragedy that had struck them.

Caterina had been questioned by Dr Hart, and had answered briefly that she found Anthony lying in the Rookery. That she should have been walking there just at that time was not a coincidence to raise conjectures in any one besides Mr. Gilfil. Except in answering this question, she had not broken her silence. She sat mute in a corner of the gardener’s kitchen shaking her head when Maynard entreated her to return with him, and apparently unable to think of anything but the possibility that Anthony might revive, until she saw them carrying away the body to the house. Then she followed by Sir Christopher’s side again, so quietly, that even Dr Hart did not object to her presence.

Caterina had been questioned by Dr. Hart and had briefly replied that she found Anthony lying in the Rookery. The fact that she happened to be walking there at that moment wasn’t something that would lead anyone to speculate, except for Mr. Gilfil. Aside from answering that question, she hadn’t said anything. She sat silently in a corner of the gardener's kitchen, shaking her head when Maynard urged her to come back with him, seemingly unable to think of anything but the chance that Anthony might wake up, until she saw them carrying the body away to the house. Then she quietly followed Sir Christopher again, so silently that even Dr. Hart didn’t mind her being there.

It was decided to lay the body in the library until after the coroner’s inquest to-morrow; and when Caterina saw the door finally closed, she turned up the gallery stairs on her way to her own room, the place where she felt at home with her sorrows. It was the first time she had been in the gallery since that terrible moment in the morning, and now the spot and the objects around began to reawaken her half-stunned memory. The armour was no longer glittering in the sunlight, but there it hung dead and sombre above the cabinet from which she had taken the dagger. Yes! now it all came back to her—all the wretchedness and all the sin. But where was the dagger now? She felt in her pocket; it was not there. Could it have been her fancy—all that about the dagger? She looked in the cabinet; it was not there. Alas! no; it could not have been her fancy, and she was guilty of that wickedness. But where could the dagger be now? Could it have fallen out of her pocket? She heard steps ascending the stairs, and hurried on to her room, where, kneeling by the bed, and burying her face to shut out the hateful light, she tried to recall every feeling and incident of the morning.

It was decided to keep the body in the library until after the coroner’s inquest tomorrow; and when Caterina saw the door finally close, she headed up the gallery stairs to her room, the place where she felt comfortable with her grief. It was the first time she had been in the gallery since that awful moment in the morning, and now the spot and the things around her started to bring back her dazed memories. The armor was no longer shining in the sunlight, but it hung lifeless and gloomy above the cabinet where she had taken the dagger. Yes! Now it all came rushing back to her—all the misery and all the wrongdoing. But where was the dagger now? She checked her pocket; it wasn’t there. Could it have just been in her imagination—all that about the dagger? She looked in the cabinet; it wasn't there. No; it couldn’t have been just her imagination, and she really was guilty of that wrongdoing. But where could the dagger be now? Could it have fallen out of her pocket? She heard footsteps coming up the stairs and hurried to her room, where, kneeling by the bed and burying her face to block out the unbearable light, she tried to remember every feeling and event from the morning.

It all came back; everything Anthony had done, and everything she had felt for the last month—for many months—ever since that June evening when he had last spoken to her in the gallery. She looked back on her storms of passion, her jealousy and hatred of Miss Assher, her thoughts of revenge on Anthony. O how wicked she had been! It was she who had been sinning; it was she who had driven him to do and say those things that had made her so angry. And if he had wronged her, what had she been on the verge of doing to him? She was too wicked ever to be pardoned. She would like to confess how wicked she had been, that they might punish her; she would like to humble herself to the dust before every one—before Miss Assher even. Sir Christopher would send her away—would never see her again, if he knew all; and she would be happier to be punished and frowned on, than to be treated tenderly while she had that guilty secret in her breast. But then, if Sir Christopher were to know all, it would add to his sorrow, and make him more wretched than ever. No! she could not confess it—she should have to tell about Anthony. But she could not stay at the Manor; she must go away; she could not bear Sir Christopher’s eye, could not bear the sight of all these things that reminded her of Anthony and of her sin. Perhaps she should die soon: she felt very feeble; there could not be much life in her. She would go away and live humbly, and pray to God to pardon her, and let her die.

It all came rushing back; everything Anthony had done and everything she had felt over the last month—and for many months—ever since that June evening when he had last talked to her in the gallery. She reflected on her emotional storms, her jealousy and hatred of Miss Assher, her vengeful thoughts about Anthony. Oh, how wicked she had been! It was her who had sinned; it was her who had pushed him to say and do those things that had made her so angry. And if he had wronged her, what was she on the verge of doing to him? She was too wicked to ever be forgiven. She wanted to confess how terrible she had been so that they could punish her; she would like to humble herself before everyone—even before Miss Assher. Sir Christopher would send her away—he would never want to see her again if he knew everything; and she would prefer to be punished and scorned than to be treated kindly while holding that guilty secret inside her. But then, if Sir Christopher found out everything, it would only add to his sadness and make him more miserable than ever. No! She couldn’t confess; she would have to talk about Anthony. But she couldn’t stay at the Manor; she had to leave; she couldn’t stand Sir Christopher’s gaze, couldn’t endure the sight of all the things that reminded her of Anthony and her wrongdoing. Maybe she would die soon: she felt very weak; there couldn’t be much life left in her. She would go away, live humbly, and pray to God for forgiveness, hoping to be allowed to die.

The poor child never thought of suicide. No sooner was the storm of anger passed than the tenderness and timidity of her nature returned, and she could do nothing but love and mourn. Her inexperience prevented her from imagining the consequences of her disappearance from the Manor; she foresaw none of the terrible details of alarm and distress and search that must ensue. ‘They will think I am dead,’ she said to herself, ‘and by-and-by they will forget me, and Maynard will get happy again, and love some one else.’

The poor child never thought about ending her life. As soon as the storm of anger passed, her gentle and shy nature came back, and all she could do was love and grieve. Her lack of experience made it impossible for her to consider what would happen if she disappeared from the Manor; she didn’t foresee any of the horrible panic, anxiety, and searches that would follow. "They'll think I'm dead," she told herself, "and eventually they'll forget me, and Maynard will be happy again and love someone else."

She was roused from her absorption by a knock at the door. Mrs. Bellamy was there. She had come by Mr. Gilfil’s request to see how Miss Sarti was, and to bring her some food and wine.

She was jolted out of her deep thought by a knock at the door. Mrs. Bellamy was there. She had come at Mr. Gilfil’s request to check on how Miss Sarti was doing and to bring her some food and wine.

‘You look sadly, my dear,’ said the old housekeeper, ‘an’ you’re all of a quake wi’ cold. Get you to bed, now do. Martha shall come an’ warm it, an’ light your fire. See now, here’s some nice arrowroot, wi’ a drop o’ wine in it. Take that, an’ it’ll warm you. I must go down again, for I can’t awhile to stay. There’s so many things to see to; an’ Miss Assher’s in hysterics constant, an’ her maid’s ill i’ bed—a poor creachy thing—an’ Mrs. Sharp’s wanted every minute. But I’ll send Martha up, an’ do you get ready to go to bed, there’s a dear child, an’ take care o’ yourself.’

"You look sad, my dear," said the old housekeeper, "and you’re all shaking from the cold. Go to bed now, please. Martha will come and warm it up and start your fire. Here’s some nice arrowroot with a splash of wine in it. Drink that, and it will warm you. I have to head back down because I can't stay long. There are so many things to take care of; Miss Assher's constantly in hysterics, her maid is sick in bed—a poor fragile thing—and Mrs. Sharp needs me every minute. But I’ll send Martha up, so you get ready for bed, dear child, and take care of yourself."

‘Thank you, dear mammy,’ said Tina, kissing the little old woman’s wrinkled cheek; ‘I shall eat the arrowroot, and don’t trouble about me any more to-night. I shall do very well when Martha has lighted my fire. Tell Mr. Gilfil I’m better. I shall go to bed by-and-by, so don’t you come up again, because you may only disturb me.’

‘Thank you, dear mom,’ said Tina, kissing the little old woman’s wrinkled cheek; ‘I’ll eat the arrowroot, so don’t worry about me anymore tonight. I’ll be just fine once Martha lights my fire. Let Mr. Gilfil know I’m feeling better. I’ll go to bed later, so don’t come back up, because you might just disturb me.’

‘Well, well, take care o’ yourself, there’s a good child, an’ God send you may sleep.’

‘Well, take care of yourself, good child, and may God help you sleep.’

Caterina took the arrowroot quite eagerly, while Martha was lighting her fire. She wanted to get strength for her journey, and she kept the plate of biscuits by her that she might put some in her pocket. Her whole mind was now bent on going away from the Manor, and she was thinking of all the ways and means her little life’s experience could suggest.

Caterina eagerly took the arrowroot while Martha was starting her fire. She wanted to gain strength for her journey and kept the plate of biscuits close by to tuck some into her pocket. Her mind was focused entirely on leaving the Manor, and she was considering all the ways her limited life experience could offer.

It was dusk now; she must wait till early dawn, for she was too timid to go away in the dark, but she must make her escape before any one was up in the house. There would be people watching Anthony in the library, but she could make her way out of a small door leading into the garden, against the drawing-room on the other side of the house.

It was getting dark now; she had to wait until early morning because she was too afraid to leave in the dark, but she needed to get away before anyone in the house was awake. There would be people keeping an eye on Anthony in the library, but she could sneak out through a small door that led into the garden, next to the drawing-room on the other side of the house.

She laid her cloak, bonnet, and veil ready; then she lighted a candle, opened her desk, and took out the broken portrait wrapped in paper. She folded it again in two little notes of Anthony’s, written in pencil, and placed it in her bosom. There was the little china box, too—Dorcas’s present, the pearl earrings, and a silk purse, with fifteen seven-shilling pieces in it, the presents Sir Christopher had made her on her birthday, ever since she had been at the Manor. Should she take the earrings and the seven-shilling pieces? She could not bear to part with them; it seemed as if they had some of Sir Christopher’s love in them. She would like them to be buried with her. She fastened the little round earrings in her ears, and put the purse with Dorcas’s box in her pocket. She had another purse there, and she took it out to count her money, for she would never spend her seven-shilling pieces. She had a guinea and eight shillings; that would be plenty.

She laid out her coat, hat, and veil; then she lit a candle, opened her desk, and took out the broken portrait wrapped in paper. She folded it again with two little notes from Anthony, written in pencil, and tucked it into her bosom. There was also the little china box—Dorcas’s gift, the pearl earrings, and a silk purse containing fifteen seven-shilling coins, presents from Sir Christopher on her birthday, ever since she had been at the Manor. Should she take the earrings and the seven-shilling coins? She couldn’t stand to part with them; it felt like they held some of Sir Christopher’s love. She wanted them to be buried with her. She fastened the small round earrings in her ears and placed the purse with Dorcas’s box in her pocket. She had another purse there, so she took it out to count her money because she would never spend her seven-shilling coins. She had a guinea and eight shillings; that would be plenty.

So now she sat down to wait for the morning, afraid to lay herself on the bed lest she should sleep too long. If she could but see Anthony once more and kiss his cold forehead! But that could not be. She did not deserve it. She must go away from him, away from Sir Christopher, and Lady Cheverel, and Maynard, and everybody who had been kind to her, and thought her good while she was so wicked.

So now she sat down to wait for morning, afraid to lie down on the bed in case she slept too long. If only she could see Anthony one more time and kiss his cold forehead! But that wasn't possible. She didn’t deserve it. She had to leave him, leave Sir Christopher, Lady Cheverel, Maynard, and everyone else who had been kind to her and thought she was good while she was so sinful.

Chapter 17

Some of Mrs. Sharp’s earliest thoughts, the next morning, were given to Caterina, whom she had not been able to visit the evening before, and whom, from a nearly equal mixture of affection and self-importance, she did not at all like resigning to Mrs. Bellamy’s care. At half-past eight o’clock she went up to Tina’s room, bent on benevolent dictation as to doses and diet and lying in bed. But on opening the door she found the bed smooth and empty. Evidently it had not been slept in. What could this mean? Had she sat up all night, and was she gone out to walk? The poor thing’s head might be touched by what had happened yesterday; it was such a shock—finding Captain Wybrow in that way; she was perhaps gone out of her mind. Mrs. Sharp looked anxiously in the place where Tina kept her hat and cloak; they were not there, so that she had had at least the presence of mind to put them on. Still the good woman felt greatly alarmed, and hastened away to tell Mr. Gilfil, who, she knew, was in his study.

Some of Mrs. Sharp’s first thoughts the next morning were about Caterina, whom she hadn’t been able to visit the night before and whom, out of a mix of caring and self-importance, she didn’t want to leave in Mrs. Bellamy’s care. At 8:30, she went up to Tina’s room, determined to give helpful directions about her medication, diet, and resting in bed. But when she opened the door, she found the bed neatly made and empty. Clearly, it hadn't been slept in. What could this mean? Had she stayed up all night, or had she gone out for a walk? The poor girl might be affected by what happened the day before; discovering Captain Wybrow like that was such a shock—she might have even lost her mind. Mrs. Sharp looked anxiously in the spot where Tina kept her hat and coat; they were missing, so at least she had enough sense to put them on. Still, the worried woman felt very alarmed and quickly went to inform Mr. Gilfil, knowing he was in his study.

‘Mr. Gilfil,’ she said, as soon as she had closed the door behind her, ‘my mind misgives me dreadful about Miss Sarti.’

‘Mr. Gilfil,’ she said, as soon as she had closed the door behind her, ‘I’m really worried about Miss Sarti.’

‘What is it?’ said poor Maynard, with a horrible fear that Caterina had betrayed something about the dagger.

‘What is it?’ said poor Maynard, filled with a terrible fear that Caterina had revealed something about the dagger.

‘She’s not in her room, an’ her bed’s not been slept in this night, an’ her hat an’ cloak’s gone.’

‘She’s not in her room, and her bed hasn’t been slept in tonight, and her hat and cloak are gone.’

For a minute or two Mr. Gilfil was unable to speak. He felt sure the worst had come: Caterina had destroyed herself. The strong man suddenly looked so ill and helpless that Mrs. Sharp began to be frightened at the effect of her abruptness.

For a minute or two, Mr. Gilfil couldn’t find the words. He was convinced the worst had happened: Caterina had ruined her life. The strong man suddenly appeared so unwell and vulnerable that Mrs. Sharp started to feel worried about how her bluntness was affecting him.

‘O, sir, I’m grieved to my heart to shock you so; but I didn’t know who else to go to.’

‘Oh, sir, I’m really sorry to upset you like this; but I didn’t know who else to turn to.’

‘No, no, you were quite right.’

‘No, no, you were absolutely right.’

He gathered some strength from his very despair. It was all over, and he had nothing now to do but to suffer and to help the suffering. He went on in a firmer voice—‘Be sure not to breathe a word about it to any one. We must not alarm Lady Cheverel and Sir Christopher. Miss Sarti may be only walking in the garden. She was terribly excited by what she saw yesterday, and perhaps was unable to lie down from restlessness. Just go quietly through the empty rooms, and see whether she is in the house. I will go and look for her in the grounds.’

He found some strength in his despair. It was all over, and now he had nothing to do but suffer and help others who were suffering. He spoke in a steadier voice—‘Make sure you don’t mention this to anyone. We can’t alarm Lady Cheverel and Sir Christopher. Miss Sarti might just be walking in the garden. She was really shaken by what she saw yesterday, and maybe she couldn’t lie down because she was too restless. Just quietly check the empty rooms and see if she’s in the house. I’ll go look for her outside.’

He went down, and, to avoid giving any alarm in the house, walked at once towards the Mosslands in search of Mr. Bates, whom he met returning from his breakfast. To the gardener he confided his fear about Caterina, assigning as a reason for this fear the probability that the shock she had undergone yesterday had unhinged her mind, and begging him to send men in search of her through the gardens and park, and inquire if she had been seen at the lodges; and if she were not found or heard of in this way, to lose no time in dragging the waters round the Manor.

He went downstairs and, to avoid alarming anyone in the house, headed straight toward the Mosslands to look for Mr. Bates, whom he found coming back from breakfast. He shared his concerns about Caterina with the gardener, explaining that he worried the shock she had experienced yesterday might have disturbed her state of mind. He asked Bates to send men to search for her throughout the gardens and park and to check if she had been seen at the lodges. If she wasn't found this way, he urged him to quickly start searching the waters around the Manor.

‘God forbid it should be so, Bates, but we shall be the easier for having searched everywhere.’

‘God forbid it should be like that, Bates, but we will feel better for having looked everywhere.’

‘Troost to mae, troost to mae, Mr. Gilfil. Eh! but I’d ha’ worked for day-wage all the rest o’ my life, rether than anythin’ should ha’ happened to her.’

‘Troost to mae, troost to mae, Mr. Gilfil. Eh! but I’d have worked for daily wages all the rest of my life, rather than let anything happen to her.’

The good gardener, in deep distress, strode away to the stables that he might send the grooms on horseback through the park.

The good gardener, feeling very distressed, walked away to the stables so he could send the grooms on horseback through the park.

Mr. Gilfil’s next thought was to search the Rookery: she might be haunting the scene of Captain Wybrow’s death. He went hastily over every mound, looked round every large tree, and followed every winding of the walks. In reality he had little hope of finding her there; but the bare possibility fenced off for a time the fatal conviction that Caterina’s body would be found in the water. When the Rookery had been searched in vain, he walked fast to the border of the little stream that bounded one side of the grounds. The stream was almost everywhere hidden among trees, and there was one place where it was broader and deeper than elsewhere—she would be more likely to come to that spot than to the pool. He hurried along with strained eyes, his imagination continually creating what he dreaded to see.

Mr. Gilfil's next thought was to check the Rookery: she might be lingering where Captain Wybrow died. He quickly scanned every mound, looked around every large tree, and followed every twist of the paths. In truth, he had little hope of finding her there; but the mere possibility kept at bay the awful thought that Caterina's body would be found in the water. After searching the Rookery in vain, he hurried to the edge of the small stream that marked one side of the grounds. The stream was mostly hidden among trees, and there was one spot where it was wider and deeper than the rest—she would be more likely to go there than to the pool. He rushed along with strained eyes, his imagination constantly conjuring up what he feared to see.

There is something white behind that overhanging bough. His knees tremble under him. He seems to see part of her dress caught on a branch, and her dear dead face upturned. O God, give strength to thy creature, on whom thou hast laid this great agony! He is nearly up to the bough, and the white object is moving. It is a waterfowl, that spreads its wings and flies away screaming. He hardly knows whether it is a relief or a disappointment that she is not there. The conviction that she is dead presses its cold weight upon him none the less heavily.

There’s something white behind that overhanging branch. His knees shake under him. He thinks he sees part of her dress caught on a branch, and her dear dead face turned upward. Oh God, give strength to your creature, upon whom you have laid this great agony! He is almost to the branch, and the white object is moving. It’s a waterfowl that spreads its wings and flies away screaming. He can’t tell if it’s a relief or a disappointment that she’s not there. The certainty that she is dead still presses heavily upon him.

As he reached the great pool in front of the Manor, he saw Mr. Bates, with a group of men already there, preparing for the dreadful search which could only displace his vague despair by a definite horror; for the gardener, in his restless anxiety, had been unable to defer this until other means of search had proved vain. The pool was not now laughing with sparkles among the water-lilies. It looked black and cruel under the sombre sky, as if its cold depths held relentlessly all the murdered hope and joy of Maynard Gilfil’s life.

As he arrived at the large pool in front of the Manor, he spotted Mr. Bates with a group of men who were already there, getting ready for the terrible search that would replace his vague sense of despair with a clear horror. The gardener, filled with restless anxiety, couldn’t wait any longer for other methods of searching to fail. The pool wasn’t shimmering with light among the water lilies anymore. It appeared dark and unforgiving under the gloomy sky, as if its cold depths held all the crushed hope and joy of Maynard Gilfil’s life.

Thoughts of the sad consequences for others as well as himself were crowding on his mind. The blinds and shutters were all closed in front of the Manor, and it was not likely that Sir Christopher would be aware of anything that was passing outside; but Mr. Gilfil felt that Caterina’s disappearance could not long be concealed from him. The coroner’s inquest would be held shortly; she would be inquired for, and then it would be inevitable that the Baronet should know all.

Thoughts about the unfortunate consequences for others as well as himself were weighing heavily on his mind. The blinds and shutters were all closed in front of the Manor, and it was unlikely that Sir Christopher would notice anything happening outside; however, Mr. Gilfil felt that Caterina’s disappearance couldn’t stay hidden from him for much longer. The coroner’s inquest would be held soon; she would be looked for, and then it would be unavoidable for the Baronet to find out everything.

Chapter 18

At twelve o’clock, when all search and inquiry had been in vain, and the coroner was expected every moment, Mr. Gilfil could no longer defer the hard duty of revealing this fresh calamity to Sir Christopher, who must otherwise have it discovered to him abruptly.

At noon, when all searches and inquiries had failed, and the coroner was expected any minute, Mr. Gilfil could no longer put off the difficult task of telling Sir Christopher about this latest tragedy, which he would otherwise find out about suddenly.

The Baronet was seated in his dressing-room, where the dark window-curtains were drawn so as to admit only a sombre light. It was the first time Mr. Gilfil had had an interview with him this morning, and he was struck to see how a single day and night of grief had aged the fine old man. The lines in his brow and about his mouth were deepened; his complexion looked dull and withered; there was a swollen ridge under his eyes; and the eyes themselves, which used to cast so keen a glance on the present, had the vacant expression which tells that vision is no longer a sense, but a memory.

The Baronet was sitting in his dressing room, where the dark curtains were drawn to let in only a dull light. It was the first time Mr. Gilfil had met with him that morning, and he was struck by how just one day and night of grief had aged the once fine old man. The lines in his forehead and around his mouth were more pronounced; his complexion looked lifeless and withered; there was a swollen area under his eyes; and his eyes themselves, which used to have such a sharp gaze, now had a vacant look that showed vision was no longer a sense, but merely a memory.

He held out his hand to Maynard, who pressed it, and sat down beside him in silence. Sir Christopher’s heart began to swell at this unspoken sympathy; the tears would rise, would roll in great drops down his cheeks. The first tears he had shed since boyhood were for Anthony.

He extended his hand to Maynard, who clasped it, and sat down next to him in silence. Sir Christopher felt a swell of unspoken sympathy; tears began to fill his eyes, rolling down his cheeks in big drops. The first tears he had shed since he was a boy were for Anthony.

Maynard felt as if his tongue were glued to the roof of his mouth. He could not speak first: he must wait until Sir Christopher said something which might lead on to the cruel words that must be spoken.

Maynard felt like his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. He couldn't speak first; he had to wait until Sir Christopher said something that could lead to the harsh words that had to be spoken.

At last the Baronet mastered himself enough to say, ‘I’m very weak, Maynard—God help me! I didn’t think anything would unman me in this way; but I’d built everything on that lad. Perhaps I’ve been wrong in not forgiving my sister. She lost one of her sons a little while ago. I’ve been too proud and obstinate.’

At last, the Baronet managed to control himself enough to say, ‘I’m really weak, Maynard—God help me! I never thought anything would shake me up like this; but I had invested everything in that kid. Maybe I was wrong not to forgive my sister. She lost one of her sons a little while ago. I’ve been too proud and stubborn.’

‘We can hardly learn humility and tenderness enough except by suffering,’ said Maynard; ‘and God sees we are in need of suffering, for it is falling more and more heavily on us. We have a new trouble this morning.’

‘We can barely learn humility and kindness without experiencing suffering,’ said Maynard; ‘and God knows we need to suffer, because it keeps becoming more and more overwhelming for us. We have a new problem this morning.’

‘Tina?’ said Sir Christopher, looking up anxiously—‘is Tina ill?’

‘Tina?’ Sir Christopher said, looking up nervously. ‘Is Tina sick?’

‘I am in dreadful uncertainty about her. She was very much agitated yesterday—and with her delicate health—I am afraid to think what turn the agitation may have taken.’

‘I am in terrible uncertainty about her. She was really upset yesterday—and with her fragile health—I’m scared to think about what direction the upset might have taken.’

‘Is she delirious, poor dear little one?’

'Is she out of her mind, poor sweet child?'

‘God only knows how she is. We are unable to find her. When Mrs. Sharp went up to her room this morning, it was empty. She had not been in bed. Her hat and cloak were gone. I have had search made for her everywhere—in the house and garden, in the park, and—in the water. No one has seen her since Martha went up to light her fire at seven o’clock in the evening.’

‘God only knows how she is. We can’t find her. When Mrs. Sharp went to her room this morning, it was empty. She hadn’t been in bed. Her hat and coat were gone. I’ve had searches done for her everywhere—in the house and garden, in the park, and—in the water. No one has seen her since Martha went up to light her fire at seven o’clock in the evening.’

While Mr. Gilfil was speaking, Sir Christopher’s eyes, which were eagerly turned on him, recovered some of their old keenness, and some sudden painful emotion, as at a new thought, flitted rapidly across his already agitated face, like the shadow of a dark cloud over the waves. When the pause came, he laid his hand on Mr. Gilfil’s arm, and said in a lower voice,—‘Maynard, did that poor thing love Anthony?’

While Mr. Gilfil was speaking, Sir Christopher's eyes, which were intently fixed on him, regained some of their old sharpness, and a sudden painful emotion, like a new realization, quickly flashed across his already troubled face, similar to a dark cloud passing over the waves. When there was a pause, he placed his hand on Mr. Gilfil's arm and said in a quieter tone, "Maynard, did that poor girl love Anthony?"

‘She did.’

"She did."

Maynard hesitated after these words, struggling between his reluctance to inflict a yet deeper wound on Sir Christopher, and his determination that no injustice should be done to Caterina. Sir Christopher’s eyes were still fixed on him in solemn inquiry, and his own sunk towards the ground, while he tried to find the words that would tell the truth least cruelly.

Maynard paused after saying this, torn between his unwillingness to hurt Sir Christopher even more and his commitment to ensure that Caterina wasn’t treated unfairly. Sir Christopher's gaze remained on him with a serious question in his eyes, and Maynard looked down, searching for the words that would convey the truth in the gentlest way possible.

‘You must not have any wrong thoughts about Tina,’ he said at length. ‘I must tell you now, for her sake, what nothing but this should ever have caused to pass my lips. Captain Wybrow won her affections by attentions which, in his position, he was bound not to show her. Before his marriage was talked of, he had behaved to her like a lover.’

‘You shouldn’t have any negative thoughts about Tina,’ he said after a long pause. ‘I need to tell you now, for her sake, what should never have come to my lips. Captain Wybrow won her affection with gestures that, given his status, he shouldn’t have shown her. Before anyone talked about his marriage, he acted towards her like a lover.’

Sir Christopher relaxed his hold of Maynard’s arm, and looked away from him. He was silent for some minutes, evidently attempting to master himself, so as to be able to speak calmly.

Sir Christopher relaxed his grip on Maynard’s arm and looked away from him. He was silent for several minutes, clearly trying to regain his composure so that he could speak calmly.

‘I must see Henrietta immediately,’ he said at last, with something of his old sharp decision; ‘she must know all; but we must keep it from every one else as far as possible. My dear boy,’ he continued in a kinder tone, ‘the heaviest burthen has fallen on you. But we may find her yet; we must not despair: there has not been time enough for us to be certain. Poor dear little one! God help me! I thought I saw everything, and was stone-blind all the while.’

‘I need to see Henrietta right away,’ he finally said, with a touch of his old determination; ‘she needs to know everything; but we have to keep it from everyone else as much as we can. My dear boy,’ he continued in a softer tone, ‘the biggest burden has fallen on you. But we might still find her; we mustn't lose hope: there hasn’t been enough time for us to be completely sure. Poor dear little one! God help me! I thought I saw everything, and I was completely blind the entire time.’

Chapter 19

The sad slow week was gone by at last. At the coroner’s inquest a verdict of sudden death had been pronounced. Dr Hart, acquainted with Captain Wybrow’s previous state of health, had given his opinion that death had been imminent from long-established disease of the heart, though it had probably been accelerated by some unusual emotion. Miss Assher was the only person who positively knew the motive that had led Captain Wybrow to the Rookery; but she had not mentioned Caterina’s name, and all painful details or inquiries were studiously kept from her. Mr. Gilfil and Sir Christopher, however, knew enough to conjecture that the fatal agitation was due to an appointed meeting with Caterina.

The sad, slow week was finally over. At the coroner’s inquest, a verdict of sudden death was declared. Dr. Hart, who was familiar with Captain Wybrow’s previous health issues, stated that death was likely caused by a long-standing heart condition, although it was probably hastened by an unusual emotional event. Miss Assher was the only one who definitely knew the reason that brought Captain Wybrow to the Rookery; however, she hadn’t mentioned Caterina’s name, and all uncomfortable details or inquiries were deliberately kept from her. Mr. Gilfil and Sir Christopher, on the other hand, knew enough to speculate that the fatal distress resulted from a scheduled meeting with Caterina.

All search and inquiry after her had been fruitless, and were the more likely to be so because they were carried on under the prepossession that she had committed suicide. No one noticed the absence of the trifles she had taken from her desk; no one knew of the likeness, or that she had hoarded her seven-shilling pieces, and it was not remarkable that she should have happened to be wearing the pearl earrings. She had left the house, they thought, taking nothing with her; it seemed impossible she could have gone far; and she must have been in a state of mental excitement, that made it too probable she had only gone to seek relief in death. The same places within three or four miles of the Manor were searched again and again—every pond, every ditch in the neighbourhood was examined.

All searches and inquiries after her had been pointless, and were even more likely to be so because everyone assumed she had taken her own life. No one noticed the small things she had taken from her desk; no one knew about the portrait or that she had saved her seven-shilling coins, and it wasn’t unusual that she happened to be wearing the pearl earrings. They thought she had left the house with nothing; it seemed impossible she could have gone far, and she must have been in such a state of mental distress that it seemed very likely she had just gone off to find relief in death. The same locations within three or four miles of the Manor were searched repeatedly—every pond, every ditch in the area was checked.

Sometimes Maynard thought that death might have come on unsought, from cold and exhaustion; and not a day passed but he wandered through the neighbouring woods, turning up the heaps of dead leaves, as if it were possible her dear body could be hidden there. Then another horrible thought recurred, and before each night came he had been again through all the uninhabited rooms of the house, to satisfy himself once more that she was not hidden behind some cabinet, or door, or curtain—that he should not find her there with madness in her eyes, looking and looking, and yet not seeing him.

Sometimes Maynard thought that death might have come unexpectedly, from cold and exhaustion; and not a day went by without him wandering through the nearby woods, turning over piles of dead leaves, as if it were possible her beloved body could be hidden there. Then another horrifying thought would come back to him, and before each night fell he would go through all the empty rooms in the house again, to reassure himself one more time that she wasn’t hidden behind any cabinet, door, or curtain—that he wouldn’t find her there with madness in her eyes, looking and looking, yet still not seeing him.

But at last those five long days and nights were at an end, the funeral was over, and the carriages were returning through the park. When they had set out, a heavy rain was falling; but now the clouds were breaking up, and a gleam of sunshine was sparkling among the dripping boughs under which they were passing. This gleam fell upon a man on horseback who was jogging slowly along, and whom Mr. Gilfil recognized, in spite of diminished rotundity, as Daniel Knott, the coachman who had married the rosy-cheeked Dorcas ten years before.

But finally, those five long days and nights were over, the funeral had wrapped up, and the carriages were making their way back through the park. When they set off, it was pouring rain; but now the clouds were clearing, and a ray of sunshine was shining through the dripping branches they were passing under. That light fell on a man on horseback who was trotting slowly along, and whom Mr. Gilfil recognized, despite losing some of his roundness, as Daniel Knott, the coachman who had married the rosy-cheeked Dorcas ten years earlier.

Every new incident suggested the same thought to Mr. Gilfil; and his eye no sooner fell on Knott than he said to himself, ‘Can he be come to tell us anything about Caterina?’ Then he remembered that Caterina had been very fond of Dorcas, and that she always had some present ready to send her when Knott paid an occasional visit to the Manor. Could Tina have gone to Dorcas? But his heart sank again as he thought, very likely Knott had only come because he had heard of Captain Wybrow’s death, and wanted to know how his old master had borne the blow.

Every new situation made Mr. Gilfil think the same thing; and as soon as he saw Knott, he told himself, ‘Could he have come to tell us something about Caterina?’ Then he remembered that Caterina had been very fond of Dorcas and always had a gift ready to send her when Knott occasionally visited the Manor. Could Tina have gone to see Dorcas? But his heart sank again as he thought that Knott probably only came because he had heard about Captain Wybrow’s death and wanted to know how his old master had handled the news.

As soon as the carriage reached the house, he went up to his study and walked about nervously, longing, but afraid, to go down and speak to Knott, lest his faint hope should be dissipated. Any one looking at that face, usually so full of calm goodwill, would have seen that the last week’s suffering had left deep traces. By day he had been riding or wandering incessantly, either searching for Caterina himself, or directing inquiries to be made by others. By night he had not known sleep—only intermittent dozing, in which he seemed to be finding Caterina dead, and woke up with a start from this unreal agony to the real anguish of believing that he should see her no more. The clear grey eyes looked sunken and restless, the full careless lips had a strange tension about them, and the brow, formerly so smooth and open, was contracted as if with pain. He had not lost the object of a few months’ passion; he had lost the being who was bound up with his power of loving, as the brook we played by or the flowers we gathered in childhood are bound up with our sense of beauty. Love meant nothing for him but to love Caterina. For years, the thought of her had been present in everything, like the air and the light; and now she was gone, it seemed as if all pleasure had lost its vehicle: the sky, the earth, the daily ride, the daily talk might be there, but the loveliness and the joy that were in them had gone for ever.

As soon as the carriage arrived at the house, he headed to his study and paced nervously, both eager and scared to go downstairs and talk to Knott, fearing that his slim hope might vanish. Anyone looking at that face, usually so calm and friendly, would have noticed that the suffering of the past week had left deep marks. During the day, he had been riding or wandering constantly, either searching for Caterina himself or arranging for others to inquire about her. At night, he hadn’t slept—just fitful dozing, where he imagined finding Caterina dead, waking up suddenly from this unreal torment to the real pain of believing he would never see her again. His clear grey eyes looked sunken and restless, his full, easygoing lips had an unusual tension, and his once-smooth forehead was furrowed with what seemed like pain. He hadn’t lost someone he loved for just a few months; he had lost the one who was essential to his ability to love, just like the stream we used to play by or the flowers we picked in childhood are tied to our sense of beauty. Love meant nothing to him except loving Caterina. For years, the thought of her had been in everything, like air and light; now that she was gone, it felt like all pleasure had lost its meaning: the sky, the earth, the daily rides, the daily conversations might still exist, but the beauty and joy they held were gone forever.

Presently, as he still paced backwards and forwards, he heard steps along the corridor, and there was a knock at his door. His voice trembled as he said ‘Come in’, and the rush of renewed hope was hardly distinguishable from pain when he saw Warren enter with Daniel Knott behind him.

Currently, while he continued to pace back and forth, he heard footsteps in the hallway, followed by a knock on his door. His voice shook as he said, "Come in," and the wave of fresh hope felt nearly indistinguishable from pain when he saw Warren walk in with Daniel Knott right behind him.

‘Knott is come, sir, with news of Miss Sarti. I thought it best to bring him to you first.’

‘Knott has arrived, sir, with news about Miss Sarti. I thought it would be best to bring him to you first.’

Mr. Gilfil could not help going up to the old coachman and wringing his hand; but he was unable to speak, and only motioned to him to take a chair, while Warren left the room. He hung upon Daniel’s moon-face, and listened to his small piping voice, with the same solemn yearning expectation with which he would have given ear to the most awful messenger from the land of shades.

Mr. Gilfil couldn't help but approach the old coachman and shake his hand; however, he was at a loss for words and just gestured for him to take a seat, while Warren exited the room. He fixated on Daniel's round face and listened to his high-pitched voice with the same serious, anxious expectation as if he were hearing from the most terrifying messenger from the afterlife.

‘It war Dorkis, sir, would hev me come; but we knowed nothin’ o’ what’s happened at the Manor. She’s frightened out on her wits about Miss Sarti, an’ she would hev me saddle Blackbird this mornin’, an’ leave the ploughin’, to come an’ let Sir Christifer an’ my lady know. P’raps you’ve heared, sir, we don’t keep the Cross Keys at Sloppeter now; a uncle o’ mine died three ’ear ago, an’ left me a leggicy. He was bailiff to Squire Ramble, as hed them there big farms on his hans; an’ so we took a little farm o’ forty acres or thereabouts, becos Dorkis didn’t like the public when she got moithered wi’ children. As pritty a place as iver you see, sir, wi’ water at the back convenent for the cattle.’

“It was Dorkis, sir, who wanted me to come; but we didn’t know anything about what’s happened at the Manor. She’s scared out of her mind about Miss Sarti, and she wanted me to saddle Blackbird this morning and leave the plowing to come and let Sir Christopher and my lady know. Perhaps you’ve heard, sir, we don’t run the Cross Keys at Sloppeter anymore; an uncle of mine died three years ago and left me an inheritance. He was the bailiff to Squire Ramble, who had those big farms in his hands; so we took a small farm of about forty acres because Dorkis didn’t like being in the pub with all the kids. It’s as pretty a place as you’ll ever see, sir, with water in the back convenient for the cattle.”

‘For God’s sake,’ said Maynard, ‘tell me what it is about Miss Sarti. Don’t stay to tell me anything else now.’

‘For God’s sake,’ Maynard said, ‘just tell me what’s going on with Miss Sarti. Don’t bother explaining anything else right now.’

‘Well, sir,’ said Knott, rather frightened by the parson’s vehemence, ‘she come t’ our house i’ the carrier’s cart o’ Wednesday, when it was welly nine o’clock at night; and Dorkis run out, for she heared the cart stop, an’ Miss Sarti throwed her arms roun’ Dorkis’s neck an’ says, “Tek me in, Dorkis, tek me in,” an’ went off into a swoond, like. An’ Dorkis calls out to me,—“Dannel,” she calls—an’ I run out and carried the young miss in, an’ she come roun’ arter a bit, an’ opened her eyes, and Dorkis got her to drink a spoonful o’ rum-an’-water—we’ve got some capital rum as we brought from the Cross Keys, and Dorkis won’t let nobody drink it. She says she keeps it for sickness; but for my part, I think it’s a pity to drink good rum when your mouth’s out o’ taste; you may just as well hev doctor’s stuff. However, Dorkis got her to bed, an’ there she’s lay iver sin’, stoopid like, an’ niver speaks, an’ on’y teks little bits an’ sups when Dorkis coaxes her. An’ we begun to be frightened, and couldn’t think what had made her come away from the Manor, and Dorkis was afeared there was summat wrong. So this mornin’ she could hold no longer, an’ would hev no nay but I must come an’ see; an’ so I’ve rode twenty mile upo’ Blackbird, as thinks all the while he’s a-ploughin’, an’ turns sharp roun’, every thirty yards, as if he was at the end of a furrow. I’ve hed a sore time wi’ him, I can tell you, sir.’

‘Well, sir,’ said Knott, a bit nervous from the parson’s intensity, ‘she came to our house in the carrier’s cart on Wednesday at nearly nine o’clock at night; and Dorkis ran out when she heard the cart stop, and Miss Sarti threw her arms around Dorkis’s neck and said, “Take me in, Dorkis, take me in,” and then she fainted. Dorkis called out to me—“Daniel,” she shouted—and I ran out and carried the young lady inside, and after a little while she came around, opened her eyes, and Dorkis managed to get her to drink a spoonful of rum and water—we’ve got some really good rum that we brought from the Cross Keys, and Dorkis won’t let anyone else drink it. She says she keeps it for when people are sick; but as for me, I think it’s a shame to waste good rum when your taste is off; you may as well have some medicine. Anyway, Dorkis got her to bed, and she’s been lying there ever since, looking dazed, and hasn’t said a word, and only takes tiny bites and sips when Dorkis encourages her. We started to get worried, trying to figure out why she left the Manor, and Dorkis was afraid something was wrong. So this morning she couldn’t hold back any longer and insisted that I must come and see; and that’s why I’ve ridden twenty miles on Blackbird, who thinks he’s plowing the whole time and turns sharply every thirty yards as if he’s at the end of a furrow. It’s been quite a struggle with him, I can tell you, sir.’

‘God bless you, Knott, for coming!’ said Mr. Gilfil, wringing the old coachman’s hand again. ‘Now go down and have something and rest yourself. You will stay here to-night, and by-and-by I shall come to you to learn the nearest way to your house. I shall get ready to ride there immediately, when I have spoken to Sir Christopher.’

‘God bless you, Knott, for showing up!’ Mr. Gilfil said, shaking the old coachman’s hand again. ‘Now go downstairs, grab something to eat, and take a break. You’ll stay here tonight, and later, I’ll come to you so I can find the best way to your place. I’ll get ready to ride over right after I talk to Sir Christopher.’

In an hour from that time Mr. Gilfil was galloping on a stout mare towards the little muddy village of Callam, five miles beyond Sloppeter. Once more he saw some gladness in the afternoon sunlight; once more it was a pleasure to see the hedgerow trees flying past him, and to be conscious of a ‘good seat’ while his black Kitty bounded beneath him, and the air whistled to the rhythm of her pace. Caterina was not dead; he had found her; his love and tenderness and long-suffering seemed so strong, they must recall her to life and happiness.

In an hour from then, Mr. Gilfil was riding hard on a strong mare toward the small muddy village of Callam, five miles past Sloppeter. Once again, he felt the joy of the afternoon sunlight; it was a pleasure to watch the hedgerow trees rush by, and he was aware of having a ‘good seat’ while his black Kitty galloped beneath him, the air whistling along with her pace. Caterina wasn't dead; he had found her; his love, tenderness, and patience felt so intense that they had to bring her back to life and happiness.

After that week of despair, the rebound was so violent that it carried his hopes at once as far as the utmost mark they had ever reached. Caterina would come to love him at last; she would be his. They had been carried through all that dark and weary way that she might know the depth of his love. How he would cherish her—his little bird with the timid bright eye, and the sweet throat that trembled with love and music! She would nestle against him, and the poor little breast which had been so ruffled and bruised should be safe for evermore. In the love of a brave and faithful man there is always a strain of maternal tenderness; he gives out again those beams of protecting fondness which were shed on him as he lay on his mother’s knee. It was twilight as he entered the village of Callam, and, asking a homeward-bound labourer the way to Daniel Knott’s, learned that it was by the church, which showed its stumpy ivy-clad spire on a slight elevation of ground; a useful addition to the means of identifying that desirable homestead afforded by Daniel’s description—‘the prittiest place iver you see’—though a small cow-yard full of excellent manure, and leading right up to the door, without any frivolous interruption from garden or railing, might perhaps have been enough to make that description unmistakably specific.

After that week of despair, the recovery was so intense that it lifted his hopes to heights they had never reached before. Caterina would finally love him; she would be his. They had gone through all that dark and exhausting journey so she could understand the depth of his love. How he would cherish her—his little bird with the shy bright eye and the sweet throat that quivered with love and music! She would snuggle against him, and the poor little heart that had been so disturbed and hurt would be safe forever. In the love of a brave and loyal man, there’s always a touch of maternal tenderness; he reflects back those beams of protective affection that were showered on him as he lay on his mother’s lap. It was twilight when he entered the village of Callam and, asking a laborer heading home for directions to Daniel Knott’s, learned that it was by the church, which displayed its short ivy-covered spire on a slight rise; a helpful detail to identify that sought-after homestead, described by Daniel as ‘the prettiest place you ever saw’—though a small cowyard full of excellent manure, leading straight to the door without any unnecessary garden or fence, might have been enough to make that description unmistakably clear.

Mr. Gilfil had no sooner reached the gate leading into the cow-yard, than he was descried by a flaxen-haired lad of nine, prematurely invested with the toga virilis, or smock-frock, who ran forward to let in the unusual visitor. In a moment Dorcas was at the door, the roses on her cheeks apparently all the redder for the three pair of cheeks which formed a group round her, and for the very fat baby who stared in her arms, and sucked a long crust with calm relish.

Mr. Gilfil had barely reached the gate to the cowyard when a nine-year-old boy with light blonde hair, dressed in a smock, spotted him and ran over to let in the unexpected visitor. In no time, Dorcas appeared at the door, her cheeks looking even rosier with the three other children gathered around her and the very plump baby in her arms, who was contentedly sucking on a crust.

‘Is it Mr. Gilfil, sir?’ said Dorcas, curtsying low as he made his way through the damp straw, after tying up his horse.

‘Is it Mr. Gilfil, sir?’ Dorcas asked, giving a low curtsy as he walked through the damp straw after tying up his horse.

‘Yes, Dorcas; I’m grown out of your knowledge. How is Miss Sarti?’

‘Yes, Dorcas; I've outgrown what you know about me. How is Miss Sarti?’

‘Just for all the world the same, sir, as I suppose Dannel’s told you; for I reckon you’ve come from the Manor, though you’re come uncommon quick, to be sure.’

‘Just the same as everyone else, sir, as I guess Dannel’s mentioned to you; because I assume you’ve come from the Manor, even though you got here really fast, for sure.’

‘Yes, he got to the Manor about one o’clock, and I set off as soon as I could. She’s not worse, is she?’

‘Yes, he arrived at the Manor around one o’clock, and I left as soon as I could. She’s not doing worse, is she?’

‘No change, sir, for better or wuss. Will you please to walk in, sir? She lies there takin’ no notice o’ nothin’, no more nor a baby as is on’y a week old, an’ looks at me as blank as if she didn’t know me. O what can it be, Mr. Gilfil? How come she to leave the Manor? How’s his honour an’ my lady?’

‘No change, sir, for better or worse. Will you please come in, sir? She lies there paying no attention to anything, just like a baby that's only a week old, and looks at me as blankly as if she didn’t recognize me. Oh, what could it be, Mr. Gilfil? How did she end up leaving the Manor? How’s his honor and my lady?’

‘In great trouble, Dorcas. Captain Wybrow, Sir Christopher’s nephew, you know, has died suddenly. Miss Sarti found him lying dead, and I think the shock has affected her mind.’

‘In big trouble, Dorcas. Captain Wybrow, Sir Christopher’s nephew, you know, has died suddenly. Miss Sarti found him lying dead, and I think the shock has affected her mind.’

‘Eh, dear! that fine young gentlemen as was to be th’ heir, as Dannel told me about. I remember seein’ him when he was a little un, a-visitin’ at the Manor. Well-a-day, what a grief to his honour and my lady. But that poor Miss Tina—an’ she found him a-lyin’ dead? O dear, O dear!’

‘Oh dear! That fine young gentleman who was supposed to be the heir, as Dannel told me about. I remember seeing him when he was a little one, visiting the Manor. What a grief for his honor and my lady. But that poor Miss Tina—did she really find him lying dead? Oh dear, oh dear!’

Dorcas had led the way into the best kitchen, as charming a room as best kitchens used to be in farmhouses which had no parlours—the fire reflected in a bright row of pewter plates and dishes; the sand-scoured deal tables so clean you longed to stroke them; the salt-coffer in one chimney-corner, and a three-cornered chair in the other, the walls behind handsomely tapestried with flitches of bacon, and the ceiling ornamented with pendent hams.

Dorcas had led the way into the best kitchen, which was as charming a room as the best kitchens used to be in farmhouses without parlors—the fire reflected in a shiny row of pewter plates and dishes; the sand-scoured wooden tables were so clean you wanted to touch them; the salt container was in one corner of the fireplace, and a three-cornered chair was in the other, with the walls beautifully decorated with strips of bacon, and the ceiling hung with curing hams.

‘Sit ye down, sir—do,’ said Dorcas, moving the three-cornered chair, ‘an’ let me get you somethin’ after your long journey. Here, Becky, come an’ tek the baby.’

‘Sit down, sir—please,’ said Dorcas, adjusting the three-cornered chair, ‘and let me get you something after your long journey. Hey, Becky, come and take the baby.’

Becky, a red-armed damsel, emerged from the adjoining back-kitchen, and possessed herself of baby, whose feelings or fat made him conveniently apathetic under the transference.

Becky, a girl with red arms, came out from the back kitchen and took the baby, whose emotions or chubbiness made him easily indifferent to the change.

‘What’ll you please to tek, sir, as I can give you? I’ll get you a rasher o’ bacon i’ no time, an’ I’ve got some tea, or belike you’d tek a glass o’ rum-an’-water. I know we’ve got nothin’ as you’re used t’ eat and drink; but such as I hev, sir, I shall be proud to give you.’

‘What would you like to have, sir? I can get you a slice of bacon in no time, and I’ve got some tea, or maybe you’d prefer a glass of rum and water. I know we don’t have the food and drinks you’re used to, but whatever I have, sir, I’ll be happy to offer you.’

‘Thank you, Dorcas; I can’t eat or drink anything. I’m not hungry or tired. Let us talk about Tina. Has she spoken at all?’

‘Thank you, Dorcas; I can’t eat or drink anything. I’m not hungry or tired. Let’s talk about Tina. Has she said anything at all?’

‘Niver since the fust words. “Dear Dorkis,” says she, “tek me in;” an’ then went off into a faint, an’ not a word has she spoken since. I get her t’ eat little bits an’ sups o’ things, but she teks no notice o’ nothin’. I’ve took up Bessie wi’ me now an’ then’—here Dorcas lifted to her lap a curly-headed little girl of three, who was twisting a corner of her mother’s apron, and opening round eyes at the gentleman—‘folks’ll tek notice o’ children sometimes when they won’t o’ nothin’ else. An’ we gathered the autumn crocuses out o’ th’ orchard, and Bessie carried ’em up in her hand, an’ put ’em on the bed. I knowed how fond Miss Tina was o’ flowers an’ them things, when she was a little un. But she looked at Bessie an’ the flowers just the same as if she didn’t see ’em. It cuts me to th’ heart to look at them eyes o’ hers; I think they’re bigger nor iver, an’ they look like my poor baby’s as died, when it got so thin—O dear, its little hands you could see thro’ ’em. But I’ve great hopes if she was to see you, sir, as come from the Manor, it might bring back her mind, like.’

"Ever since she first said the words, 'Dear Dorcas,' she’s been out of it; then she fainted and hasn’t said a word since. I can get her to eat little bites and sips of things, but she doesn’t react to anything. I’ve been bringing Bessie along with me now and then"—here Dorcas lifted to her lap a curly-haired little girl of three, who was twisting a corner of her mother’s apron and looking wide-eyed at the gentleman—"people notice kids sometimes when they won’t notice anything else. We picked the autumn crocuses from the orchard, and Bessie carried them in her hand and put them on the bed. I remembered how much Miss Tina loved flowers and all those things when she was little. But she looked at Bessie and the flowers as if she didn’t see them at all. It breaks my heart to see her eyes; they seem bigger than ever, and they remind me of my poor baby who died when it got so thin—oh dear, you could see through its little hands. But I have high hopes that if she were to see you, sir, coming from the Manor, it might bring her back to us."

Maynard had that hope too, but he felt cold mists of fear gathering round him after the few bright warm hours of joyful confidence which had passed since he first heard that Caterina was alive. The thought would urge itself upon him that her mind and body might never recover the strain that had been put upon them—that her delicate thread of life had already nearly spun itself out.

Maynard felt that hope as well, but he could sense the cold mists of fear wrapping around him after the few bright, warm hours of joyful confidence that had passed since he first learned that Caterina was alive. The thought pushed itself into his mind that her mind and body might never fully recover from the strain they had endured—that her fragile thread of life had almost run out.

‘Go now, Dorcas, and see how she is, but don’t say anything about my being here. Perhaps it would be better for me to wait till daylight before I see her, and yet it would be very hard to pass another night in this way.’

‘Go now, Dorcas, and check on her, but don’t mention that I’m here. It might be better for me to wait until morning before I see her, but it would be really tough to spend another night like this.’

Dorcas set down little Bessie, and went away. The three other children, including young Daniel in his smock-frock, were standing opposite to Mr. Gilfil, watching him still more shyly now they were without their mother’s countenance. He drew little Bessie towards him, and set her on his knee. She shook her yellow curls out of her eyes, and looked up at him as she said,—‘Zoo tome to tee ze yady? Zoo mek her peak? What zoo do to her? Tiss her?’

Dorcas put down little Bessie and walked away. The other three kids, including young Daniel in his smock, stood in front of Mr. Gilfil, watching him even more shyly now that their mother wasn’t there. He pulled little Bessie onto his lap. She shook her yellow curls out of her eyes and looked up at him as she said, “Do you want to see the lady? Do you make her speak? What do you do to her? Kiss her?”

‘Do you like to be kissed, Bessie?’

‘Do you enjoy being kissed, Bessie?’

‘Det,’ said Bessie, immediately ducking down her head very low, in resistance to the expected rejoinder.

‘Det,’ Bessie said, quickly lowering her head, bracing for the reply she anticipated.

‘We’ve got two pups,’ said young Daniel, emboldened by observing the gentleman’s amenities towards Bessie. ‘Shall I show ’em yer? One’s got white spots.’

‘We’ve got two puppies,’ said young Daniel, encouraged by the gentleman’s kindness towards Bessie. ‘Should I show them to you? One has white spots.’

‘Yes, let me see them.’

"Yes, let me see."

Daniel ran out, and presently reappeared with two blind puppies, eagerly followed by the mother, affectionate though mongrel, and an exciting scene was beginning when Dorcas returned and said,—‘There’s niver any difference in her hardly. I think you needn’t wait, sir. She lies very still, as she al’ys does. I’ve put two candle i’ the room, so as she may see you well. You’ll please t’ excuse the room, sir, an’ the cap as she has on; it’s one o’ mine.’

Daniel ran out and soon came back with two blind puppies, followed closely by their loving but mixed-breed mother. An exciting scene was about to unfold when Dorcas returned and said, “There’s hardly any change in her. I think you don’t need to wait, sir. She’s lying very still, just like she always does. I’ve put two candles in the room so she can see you well. Please excuse the room, sir, and the cap she's wearing; it’s one of mine.”

Mr. Gilfil nodded silently, and rose to follow her up-stairs. They turned in at the first door, their footsteps making little noise on the plaster floor. The red-checkered linen curtains were drawn at the head of the bed, and Dorcas had placed the candles on this side of the room, so that the light might not fall oppressively on Caterina’s eyes. When she had opened the door, Dorcas whispered, ‘I’d better leave you, sir, I think?’

Mr. Gilfil nodded quietly and got up to follow her upstairs. They went into the first room, their footsteps barely making a sound on the plaster floor. The red-checkered linen curtains were pulled shut at the head of the bed, and Dorcas had set the candles on this side of the room to avoid the light shining harshly on Caterina’s eyes. After opening the door, Dorcas whispered, “I should probably leave you alone now, sir, right?”

Mr. Gilfil motioned assent, and advanced beyond the curtain. Caterina lay with her eyes turned the other way, and seemed unconscious that any one had entered. Her eyes, as Dorcas had said, looked larger than ever, perhaps because her face was thinner and paler, and her hair quite gathered away under one of Dorcas’s thick caps. The small hands, too, that lay listlessly on the outside of the bed-clothes were thinner than ever. She looked younger than she really was, and any one seeing the tiny face and hands for the first time might have thought they belonged to a little girl of twelve, who was being taken away from coming instead of past sorrow.

Mr. Gilfil nodded in agreement and stepped through the curtain. Caterina lay with her eyes turned away and appeared unaware that anyone had entered. Her eyes, as Dorcas had noted, looked bigger than ever, perhaps because her face was thinner and paler, and her hair was completely tucked under one of Dorcas’s thick caps. The small hands that lay limply outside the covers were also thinner than before. She looked younger than she truly was, and anyone seeing her delicate face and hands for the first time might have thought they belonged to a young girl of twelve, caught between the past and present sorrows.

When Mr. Gilfil advanced and stood opposite to her, the light fell full upon his face. A slight startled expression came over Caterina’s eyes; she looked at him earnestly for a few moments, then lifted up her hand as if to beckon him to stoop down towards her, and whispered ‘Maynard!’

When Mr. Gilfil stepped forward and stood in front of her, the light shone directly on his face. A slight look of surprise crossed Caterina’s eyes; she gazed at him intently for a few moments, then raised her hand as if to signal him to lean closer, and whispered, ‘Maynard!’

He seated himself on the bed, and stooped down towards her. She whispered again—‘Maynard, did you see the dagger?’

He sat on the bed and leaned down toward her. She whispered again, “Maynard, did you see the dagger?”

He followed his first impulse in answering her, and it was a wise one.

He went with his first instinct in responding to her, and it was a smart choice.

‘Yes,’ he whispered, ‘I found it in your pocket, and put it back again in the cabinet.’

‘Yes,’ he whispered, ‘I found it in your pocket and put it back in the cabinet.’

He took her hand in his and held it gently, awaiting what she would say next. His heart swelled so with thankfulness that she had recognized him, he could hardly repress a sob. Gradually her eyes became softer and less intense in their gaze. The tears were slowly gathering, and presently some large hot drops rolled down her cheek. Then the flood-gates were opened, and the heart-easing stream gushed forth; deep sobs came; and for nearly an hour she lay without speaking, while the heavy icy pressure that withheld her misery from utterance was thus melting away. How precious these tears were to Maynard, who day after day had been shuddering at the continually recurring image of Tina with the dry scorching stare of insanity!

He took her hand gently and waited for her to say something. His heart was so full of gratitude that she recognized him that he could hardly hold back a sob. Slowly, her eyes became softer and less intense. Tears began to gather, and soon large, hot drops rolled down her cheek. Then the floodgates opened, and a wave of relief came; deep sobs followed, and for nearly an hour, she lay silent as the heavy, icy weight holding back her pain melted away. Those tears were so precious to Maynard, who day after day had been haunted by the image of Tina with her dry, scorching gaze of madness!

By degrees the sobs subsided, she began to breathe calmly, and lay quiet with her eyes shut. Patiently Maynard sat, not heeding the flight of the hours, not heeding the old clock that ticked loudly on the landing. But when it was nearly ten, Dorcas, impatiently anxious to know the result of Mr. Gilfil’s appearance, could not help stepping in on tip-toe. Without moving, he whispered in her ear to supply him with candles, see that the cow-boy had shaken down his mare, and go to bed—he would watch with Caterina—a great change had come over her.

Gradually, the sobs quieted down, and she started to breathe more steadily, lying still with her eyes closed. Maynard sat patiently, not paying attention to the passing hours or the old clock that ticked loudly on the landing. But when it was almost ten, Dorcas, anxiously curious about what had happened with Mr. Gilfil, couldn't help but tiptoe in. Without moving, he whispered in her ear to bring him some candles, make sure the cowboy had taken care of his mare, and go to bed—he would stay up with Caterina; a big change had come over her.

Before long, Tina’s lips began to move. ‘Maynard,’ she whispered again. He leaned towards her, and she went on.

Before long, Tina's lips started to move. "Maynard," she whispered again. He leaned in closer, and she continued.

‘You know how wicked I am, then? You know what I meant to do with the dagger?’

‘So you know how evil I am, huh? You know what I intended to do with the dagger?’

‘Did you mean to kill yourself, Tina?’

‘Did you mean to take your own life, Tina?’

She shook her head slowly, and then was silent for a long while. At last, looking at him with solemn eyes, she whispered, ‘To kill him.’

She shook her head slowly, then fell silent for a long time. Finally, looking at him with serious eyes, she whispered, ‘To kill him.’

‘Tina, my loved one, you would never have done it. God saw your whole heart; He knows you would never harm a living thing. He watches over His children, and will not let them do things they would pray with their whole hearts not to do. It was the angry thought of a moment, and He forgives you.’

‘Tina, my love, you would never have done it. God saw your entire heart; He knows you would never hurt a living being. He watches over His children and won’t let them do things they would pray with all their hearts not to do. It was just an angry thought in a moment, and He forgives you.’

She sank into silence again till it was nearly midnight. The weary enfeebled spirit seemed to be making its slow way with difficulty through the windings of thought; and when she began to whisper again, it was in reply to Maynard’s words.

She fell silent again until it was almost midnight. The tired, weakened spirit seemed to be struggling through tangled thoughts; and when she started to whisper again, it was in response to Maynard’s words.

‘But I had had such wicked feelings for a long while. I was so angry, and I hated Miss Assher so, and I didn’t care what came to anybody, because I was so miserable myself. I was full of bad passions. No one else was ever so wicked.’

‘But I had these awful feelings for a long time. I was so angry, and I hated Miss Assher so much, and I didn’t care what happened to anyone else because I was so miserable myself. I was overwhelmed with negative emotions. No one else was ever as terrible.’

‘Yes, Tina, many are just as wicked. I often have very wicked feelings, and am tempted to do wrong things; but then my body is stronger than yours, and I can hide my feelings and resist them better. They do not master me so. You have seen the little birds when they are very young and just begin to fly, how all their feathers are ruffled when they are frightened or angry; they have no power over themselves left, and might fall into a pit from mere fright. You were like one of those little birds. Your sorrow and suffering had taken such hold of you, you hardly knew what you did.’

‘Yes, Tina, many are just as wicked. I often have very wicked feelings and am tempted to do bad things; but then my body is stronger than yours, and I can hide my feelings and resist them better. They don’t control me as much. You’ve seen the little birds when they’re very young and just starting to fly, how all their feathers get ruffled when they’re scared or angry; they lose all control and might fall into a pit from sheer fright. You were like one of those little birds. Your sorrow and suffering had such a grip on you that you hardly knew what you were doing.’

He would not speak long. Lest he should tire her, and oppress her with too many thoughts. Long pauses seemed needful for her before she could concentrate her feelings in short words.

He wouldn’t talk for long. He didn’t want to tire her out or overwhelm her with too many thoughts. She needed long pauses before she could focus her feelings into just a few words.

‘But when I meant to do it,’ was the next thing she whispered, ‘it was as bad as if I had done it.’

‘But when I meant to do it,’ she whispered next, ‘it was just as bad as if I had done it.’

‘No, my Tina,’ answered Maynard slowly, waiting a little between each sentence; ‘we mean to do wicked things that we never could do, just as we mean to do good or clever things that we never could do. Our thoughts are often worse than we are, just as they are often better than we are. And God sees us as we are altogether, not in separate feelings or actions, as our fellow-men see us. We are always doing each other injustice, and thinking better or worse of each other than we deserve, because we only hear and see separate words and actions. We don’t see each other’s whole nature. But God sees that you could not have committed that crime.’

‘No, my Tina,’ Maynard replied slowly, pausing a bit between each sentence; ‘we plan to do bad things that we never could do, just like we plan to do good or smart things that we never could do. Our thoughts are often worse than our actions, just as they can also be better. And God sees us as we are completely, not based on separate feelings or actions, like our fellow humans see us. We are constantly misjudging each other, thinking of each other as better or worse than we are, because we only hear and see isolated words and actions. We don’t see each other’s entire nature. But God knows that you could not have committed that crime.’

Caterina shook her head slowly, and was silent. After a while,—‘I don’t know,’ she said; ‘I seemed to see him coming towards me, just as he would really have looked, and I meant—I meant to do it.’

Caterina shook her head slowly and was quiet. After a while, she said, "I don’t know. I felt like I saw him coming toward me, just as he really would have looked, and I intended—I intended to do it."

‘But when you saw him—tell me how it was, Tina?’

‘But when you saw him—tell me what it was like, Tina?’

‘I saw him lying on the ground and thought he was ill. I don’t know how it was then; I forgot everything. I knelt down and spoke to him, and—and he took no notice of me, and his eyes were fixed, and I began to think he was dead.’

‘I saw him lying on the ground and thought he was sick. I can’t remember what happened next; everything slipped my mind. I knelt down and talked to him, and—and he didn’t respond, and his eyes were vacant, and I started to worry that he was dead.’

‘And you have never felt angry since?’

‘And you haven't felt angry since?’

‘O no, no; it is I who have been more wicked than any one; it is I who have been wrong all through.’

‘Oh no, no; I’ve been more wicked than anyone else; I’ve been wrong all along.’

‘No, Tina; the fault has not all been yours; he was wrong; he gave you provocation. And wrong makes wrong. When people use us ill, we can hardly help having ill feeling towards them. But that second wrong is more excusable. I am more sinful than you, Tina; I have often had very bad feelings towards Captain Wybrow; and if he had provoked me as he did you, I should perhaps have done something more wicked.’

‘No, Tina; it hasn't all been your fault; he was wrong; he provoked you. And wrong leads to more wrong. When people treat us badly, it's hard not to have negative feelings towards them. But that second wrong is more understandable. I am more at fault than you, Tina; I've often had very bad feelings towards Captain Wybrow; and if he had provoked me like he did you, I might have done something even worse.’

‘O, it was not so wrong in him; he didn’t know how he hurt me. How was it likely he could love me as I loved him? And how could he marry a poor little thing like me?’

'O, it wasn't his fault; he didn’t realize how much he hurt me. How could he possibly love me the way I loved him? And how could he marry a poor little person like me?'

Maynard made no reply to this, and there was again silence, till Tina said, ‘Then I was so deceitful; they didn’t know how wicked I was. Padroncello didn’t know; his good little monkey he used to call me; and if he had known, O how naughty he would have thought me!’

Maynard didn’t respond to this, and there was silence again until Tina said, ‘Then I was so dishonest; they had no idea how bad I was. Padroncello didn’t know; he used to call me his good little monkey; and if he had known, oh how naughty he would have thought I was!’

‘My Tina, we have all our secret sins; and if we knew ourselves, we should not judge each other harshly. Sir Christopher himself has felt, since this trouble came upon him, that he has been too severe and obstinate.’

‘My Tina, we all have our hidden faults; and if we truly knew ourselves, we wouldn’t judge each other so harshly. Sir Christopher himself has realized, since this trouble started, that he has been too strict and stubborn.’

In this way—in these broken confessions and answering words of comfort—the hours wore on, from the deep black night to the chill early twilight, and from early twilight to the first yellow streak of morning parting the purple cloud. Mr. Gilfil felt as if in the long hours of that night the bond that united his love for ever and alone to Caterina had acquired fresh strength and sanctity. It is so with the human relations that rest on the deep emotional sympathy of affection: every new day and night of joy or sorrow is a new ground, a new consecration, for the love that is nourished by memories as well as hopes—the love to which perpetual repetition is not a weariness but a want, and to which a separated joy is the beginning of pain.

In this way—in these broken confessions and comforting responses—the hours passed, from the deep black night to the cold early twilight, and from early twilight to the first yellow streak of morning breaking through the purple clouds. Mr. Gilfil felt as though during the long hours of that night, the bond that connected his love forever and solely to Caterina had gained new strength and significance. This is how human relationships based on deep emotional sympathy work: each new day and night of joy or sorrow serves as fresh ground, a new dedication, for the love that's fed by both memories and hopes—the love where constant repetition isn't a burden but a necessity, and where a shared joy turning into separation leads directly to pain.

The cocks began to crow; the gate swung; there was a tramp of footsteps in the yard, and Mr. Gilfil heard Dorcas stirring. These sounds seemed to affect Caterina, for she looked anxiously at him and said, ‘Maynard, are you going away?’

The roosters started to crow; the gate swung open; there were footsteps in the yard, and Mr. Gilfil noticed Dorcas moving around. These sounds seemed to trouble Caterina, as she looked at him with worry and said, ‘Maynard, are you leaving?’

‘No, I shall stay here at Callam until you are better, and then you will go away too.’

‘No, I will stay here at Callam until you feel better, and then you will leave too.’

‘Never to the Manor again, O no! I shall live poorly, and get my own bread.’

‘Never to the Manor again, oh no! I’ll live simply and earn my own living.’

‘Well, dearest, you shall do what you would like best. But I wish you could go to sleep now. Try to rest quietly, and by-and-by you will perhaps sit up a little. God has kept you in life in spite of all this sorrow; it will be sinful not to try and make the best of His gift. Dear Tina, you will try;—and little Bessie brought you some crocuses once, you didn’t notice the poor little thing; but you will notice her when she comes again, will you not?’

‘Well, my dear, you should do what you think is best. But I really wish you could try to sleep now. Please rest quietly, and eventually, you might feel like sitting up a bit. God has kept you alive despite all this sadness; it would be wrong not to try and make the most of His gift. Dear Tina, you will try; and remember when little Bessie brought you some crocuses once? You didn’t notice the poor little thing, but you will notice her when she comes again, won’t you?’

‘I will try,’ whispered Tina humbly, and then closed her eyes.

‘I’ll try,’ Tina whispered humbly, and then closed her eyes.

By the time the sun was above the horizon, scattering the clouds, and shining with pleasant morning warmth through the little leaded window, Caterina was asleep. Maynard gently loosed the tiny hand, cheered Dorcas with the good news, and made his way to the village inn, with a thankful heart that Tina had been so far herself again. Evidently the sight of him had blended naturally with the memories in which her mind was absorbed, and she had been led on to an unburthening of herself that might be the beginning of a complete restoration. But her body was so enfeebled—her soul so bruised—that the utmost tenderness and care would be necessary. The next thing to be done was to send tidings to Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel; then to write and summon his sister, under whose care he had determined to place Caterina. The Manor, even if she had been wishing to return thither, would, he knew, be the most undesirable home for her at present: every scene, every object there, was associated with still unallayed anguish. If she were domesticated for a time with his mild gentle sister, who had a peaceful home and a prattling little boy, Tina might attach herself anew to life, and recover, partly at least, the shock that had been given to her constitution. When he had written his letters and taken a hasty breakfast, he was soon in his saddle again, on his way to Sloppeter, where he would post them, and seek out a medical man, to whom he might confide the moral causes of Caterina’s enfeebled condition.

By the time the sun was up, breaking through the clouds and radiating warm morning light through the small leaded window, Caterina was asleep. Maynard gently released her tiny hand, shared the good news with Dorcas, and headed to the village inn, grateful that Tina had been more like herself again. It seemed that seeing him had naturally blended with the memories occupying her mind, leading her to open up in a way that could be the start of a full recovery. But her body was so weak and her spirit so hurt that she would need the utmost tenderness and care. The next step was to inform Sir Christopher and Lady Cheverel; then he would write to summon his sister, under whose care he intended to place Caterina. The Manor, even if she wanted to go back, would not be a good home for her right now: every scene, every object there was tied to unhealed pain. If she could stay for a while with his gentle sister, who had a peaceful home and a chatty little boy, Tina might reconnect with life and partially recover from the trauma she had experienced. After writing his letters and grabbing a quick breakfast, he was soon back in the saddle, heading to Sloppeter to mail them and find a doctor to whom he could explain the emotional reasons behind Caterina’s weakened state.

Chapter 20

In less than a week from that time, Caterina was persuaded to travel in a comfortable carriage, under the care of Mr. Gilfil and his sister, Mrs. Heron, whose soft blue eyes and mild manners were very soothing to the poor bruised child—the more so as they had an air of sisterly equality which was quite new to her. Under Lady Cheverel’s uncaressing authoritative goodwill, Tina had always retained a certain constraint and awe; and there was a sweetness before unknown in having a young and gentle woman, like an elder sister, bending over her caressingly, and speaking in low loving tones.

In less than a week, Caterina was encouraged to travel in a comfortable carriage, accompanied by Mr. Gilfil and his sister, Mrs. Heron. Her soft blue eyes and gentle demeanor were very comforting to the poor, hurt child—especially since they offered a sense of sisterly equality that was new to her. Under Lady Cheverel’s unloving but authoritative kindness, Tina had always felt a certain restraint and intimidation; now, however, there was a sweetness she hadn’t experienced before in having a young, kind woman, like an older sister, leaning over her affectionately, speaking in soft, loving tones.

Maynard was almost angry with himself for feeling happy while Tina’s mind and body were still trembling on the verge of irrecoverable decline; but the new delight of acting as her guardian angel, of being with her every hour of the day, of devising everything for her comfort, of watching for a ray of returning interest in her eyes, was too absorbing to leave room for alarm or regret.

Maynard felt a bit upset with himself for being happy when Tina's mind and body were still shaking, close to a point of no return; but the fresh joy of being her guardian angel, spending every hour with her, planning everything for her comfort, and looking for even a hint of interest to come back to her eyes was too engaging to allow for any worry or regret.

On the third day the carriage drove up to the door of Foxholm Parsonage, where the Rev. Arthur Heron presented himself on the door-step, eager to greet his returning Lucy, and holding by the hand a broad-chested tawny-haired boy of five, who was smacking a miniature hunting-whip with great vigour.

On the third day, the carriage pulled up to the door of Foxholm Parsonage, where Rev. Arthur Heron stood on the doorstep, excited to welcome back his returning Lucy, and holding the hand of a sturdy, tawny-haired five-year-old boy who was enthusiastically cracking a tiny hunting whip.

Nowhere was there a lawn more smooth-shaven, walks better swept, or a porch more prettily festooned with creepers, than at Foxholm Parsonage, standing snugly sheltered by beeches and chestnuts half-way down the pretty green hill which was surmounted by the church, and overlooking a village that straggled at its ease among pastures and meadows, surrounded by wild hedgerows and broad shadowing trees, as yet unthreatened by improved methods of farming.

Nowhere had a lawn that was smoother, walks that were better kept, or a porch that was more beautifully adorned with climbing plants than at Foxholm Parsonage. It was comfortably nestled among beech and chestnut trees halfway down the lovely green hill topped by the church, overlooking a village that sprawled leisurely among pastures and meadows, surrounded by wild hedgerows and large, shady trees, still untouched by modern farming practices.

Brightly the fire shone in the great parlour, and brightly in the little pink bedroom, which was to be Caterina’s, because it looked away from the churchyard, and on to a farm homestead, with its little cluster of beehive ricks, and placid groups of cows, and cheerful matin sounds of healthy labour. Mrs. Heron, with the instinct of a delicate, impressible woman, had written to her husband to have this room prepared for Caterina. Contented speckled hens, industriously scratching for the rarely-found corn, may sometimes do more for a sick heart than a grove of nightingales; there is something irresistibly calming in the unsentimental cheeriness of top-knotted pullets, unpetted sheep-dogs, and patient cart-horses enjoying a drink of muddy water.

The fire blazed brightly in the large living room, and just as brightly in the small pink bedroom that was meant for Caterina, as it faced away from the graveyard and looked out onto a farmstead with its small group of beehive haystacks, serene clusters of cows, and the cheerful morning sounds of hardworking life. Mrs. Heron, with the intuition of a sensitive and impressionable woman, had written to her husband to make this room ready for Caterina. Contented speckled hens, busily scratching for the rarely found corn, can sometimes do more for a troubled heart than a grove of nightingales; there’s something irresistibly calming in the straightforward cheerfulness of top-knot chickens, unspoiled sheepdogs, and patient draft horses enjoying a drink of muddy water.

In such a home as this parsonage, a nest of comfort, without any of the stateliness that would carry a suggestion of Cheverel Manor, Mr. Gilfil was not unreasonable in hoping that Caterina might gradually shake off the haunting vision of the past, and recover from the languor and feebleness which were the physical sign of that vision’s blighting presence. The next thing to be done was to arrange an exchange of duties with Mr. Heron’s curate, that Maynard might be constantly near Caterina, and watch over her progress. She seemed to like him to be with her, to look uneasily for his return; and though she seldom spoke to him, she was most contented when he sat by her, and held her tiny hand in his large protecting grasp. But Oswald, alias Ozzy, the broad-chested boy, was perhaps her most beneficial companion. With something of his uncle’s person, he had inherited also his uncle’s early taste for a domestic menagerie, and was very imperative in demanding Tina’s sympathy in the welfare of his guinea-pigs, squirrels, and dormice. With him she seemed now and then to have gleams of her childhood coming athwart the leaden clouds, and many hours of winter went by the more easily for being spent in Ozzy’s nursery.

In a home like this parsonage, a cozy refuge without any of the grandness that would remind one of Cheverel Manor, Mr. Gilfil had a reasonable hope that Caterina could gradually let go of the haunting memories of the past and recover from the weariness and weakness that showed the lingering effects of those memories. The next step was to coordinate a swap of responsibilities with Mr. Heron’s curate so that Maynard could be close to Caterina and keep an eye on her recovery. She seemed to enjoy having him around, always looking anxiously for his return; even though she rarely spoke to him, she was most at ease when he sat next to her, holding her small hand in his large, protective grasp. But Oswald, alias Ozzy, the broad-chested boy, was probably her most helpful companion. With some of his uncle's build, he also inherited his uncle's early interest in keeping pets and frequently insisted that Tina take an interest in the well-being of his guinea pigs, squirrels, and dormice. With him, she occasionally had flashes of her childhood breaking through the gloomy days, and many winter hours passed more pleasantly in Ozzy’s playroom.

Mrs. Heron was not musical, and had no instrument; but one of Mr. Gilfil’s cares was to procure a harpsichord, and have it placed in the drawing-room, always open, in the hope that some day the spirit of music would be reawakened in Caterina, and she would be attracted towards the instrument. But the winter was almost gone by, and he had waited in vain. The utmost improvement in Tina had not gone beyond passiveness and acquiescence—a quiet grateful smile, compliance with Oswald’s whims, and an increasing consciousness of what was being said and done around her. Sometimes she would take up a bit of woman’s work, but she seemed too languid to persevere in it; her fingers soon dropped, and she relapsed into motionless reverie.

Mrs. Heron wasn't musical and didn't own an instrument, but one of Mr. Gilfil’s concerns was to get a harpsichord and set it up in the drawing room, always left open, hoping that someday the spirit of music would come back to Caterina and she would feel drawn to the instrument. However, winter was nearly over, and he had waited in vain. The most improvement in Tina had only gone as far as being passive and compliant—a quiet, grateful smile, going along with Oswald’s whims, and becoming more aware of what was happening around her. Sometimes she would pick up some sewing, but she seemed too unenergetic to follow through; her fingers would soon fall still, and she would slip back into a motionless daydream.

At last—it was one of those bright days in the end of February, when the sun is shining with a promise of approaching spring. Maynard had been walking with her and Oswald round the garden to look at the snowdrops, and she was resting on the sofa after the walk. Ozzy, roaming about the room in quest of a forbidden pleasure, came to the harpsichord, and struck the handle of his whip on a deep bass note.

At last—it was one of those bright days at the end of February when the sun shone with the promise of spring approaching. Maynard had been walking with her and Oswald around the garden to check out the snowdrops, and she was resting on the sofa after the walk. Ozzy, wandering around the room in search of a forbidden thrill, came to the harpsichord and hit the handle of his whip on a deep bass note.

The vibration rushed through Caterina like an electric shock: it seemed as if at that instant a new soul were entering into her, and filling her with a deeper, more significant life. She looked round, rose from the sofa, and walked to the harpsichord. In a moment her fingers were wandering with their old sweet method among the keys, and her soul was floating in its true familiar element of delicious sound, as the water-plant that lies withered and shrunken on the ground expands into freedom and beauty when once more bathed in its native flood.

The vibration rushed through Caterina like an electric shock: it felt like a new soul was entering her, filling her with a deeper, more meaningful life. She looked around, got up from the sofa, and walked to the harpsichord. In no time, her fingers were gliding across the keys in their old, sweet way, and her spirit floated in its true, familiar realm of delightful sound, like a water plant that lies wilted and shriveled on the ground, only to expand into freedom and beauty when bathed once again in its natural waters.

Maynard thanked God. An active power was re-awakened, and must make a new epoch in Caterina’s recovery.

Maynard thanked God. A dynamic force was re-awakened, and it would create a new chapter in Caterina’s recovery.

Presently there were low liquid notes blending themselves with the harder tones of the instrument, and gradually the pure voice swelled into predominance. Little Ozzy stood in the middle of the room, with his mouth open and his legs very wide apart, struck with something like awe at this new power in ‘Tin-Tin,’ as he called her, whom he had been accustomed to think of as a playfellow not at all clever, and very much in need of his instruction on many subjects. A genie soaring with broad wings out of his milkjug would not have been more astonishing.

Right now, soft liquid notes were blending with the sharper sounds of the instrument, and gradually, the clear voice took center stage. Little Ozzy stood in the middle of the room, his mouth open and his legs spread wide apart, feeling something like awe at this new talent in ‘Tin-Tin,’ as he called her, who he used to think of as just a playmate, not very bright and definitely needing his guidance on a lot of things. A genie flying out of his milk jug with big wings would have been less surprising.

Caterina was singing the very air from the Orfeo which we heard her singing so many months ago at the beginning of her sorrows. It was ‘Ho perduto’, Sir Christopher’s favourite, and its notes seemed to carry on their wings all the tenderest memories of her life, when Cheverel Manor was still an untroubled home. The long happy days of childhood and girlhood recovered all their rightful predominance over the short interval of sin and sorrow.

Caterina was singing the same song from the Orfeo that we heard her perform so many months ago when her troubles began. It was ‘Ho perduto’, Sir Christopher’s favorite, and its notes seemed to lift all the sweetest memories of her life, when Cheverel Manor was still a peaceful home. The long, happy days of childhood and adolescence reclaimed their rightful place over the brief period of sin and sorrow.

She paused, and burst into tears—the first tears she had shed since she had been at Foxholm. Maynard could not help hurrying towards her, putting his arm round her, and leaning down to kiss her hair. She nestled to him, and put up her little mouth to be kissed.

She paused and started crying—the first tears she had shed since being at Foxholm. Maynard couldn't help but rush over to her, wrapping his arm around her and leaning down to kiss her hair. She nestled against him and tilted her little mouth up to be kissed.

The delicate-tendrilled plant must have something to cling to. The soul that was born anew to music was born anew to love.

The delicate-tendrilled plant needs something to hold on to. The soul that came to life through music was also reborn to love.

Chapter 21

On the 30th of May 1790, a very pretty sight was seen by the villagers assembled near the door of Foxholm Church. The sun was bright upon the dewy grass, the air was alive with the murmur of bees and the trilling of birds, the bushy blossoming chestnuts and the foamy flowering hedgerows seemed to be crowding round to learn why the church-bells were ringing so merrily, as Maynard Gilfil, his face bright with happiness, walked out of the old Gothic doorway with Tina on his arm. The little face was still pale, and there was a subdued melancholy in it, as of one who sups with friends for the last time, and has his ear open for the signal that will call him away. But the tiny hand rested with the pressure of contented affection on Maynard’s arm, and the dark eyes met his downward glance with timid answering love.

On May 30, 1790, the villagers gathered near the entrance of Foxholm Church to witness a lovely scene. The sun shone brightly on the dewy grass, and the air buzzed with the sounds of bees and singing birds. The blooming chestnut trees and the frothy flowering hedges seemed to gather around, curious about why the church bells were ringing so joyfully. Maynard Gilfil, his face glowing with happiness, stepped out of the old Gothic doorway with Tina on his arm. Her little face was still pale, and there was a quiet sadness in it, like someone having dinner with friends for the last time, listening for a signal that would call them away. But her tiny hand rested on Maynard’s arm with the warmth of contented affection, and her dark eyes met his downward gaze with shy, returned love.

There was no train of bridesmaids; only pretty Mrs. Heron leaning on the arm of a dark-haired young man hitherto unknown in Foxholm, and holding by the other hand little Ozzy, who exulted less in his new velvet cap and tunic, than in the notion that he was bridesman to Tin-Tin.

There was no line of bridesmaids; just the beautiful Mrs. Heron leaning on the arm of a dark-haired young man who was previously unknown in Foxholm, and holding little Ozzy by the other hand. Ozzy was more excited about his new velvet cap and tunic than the fact that he was a bridesman to Tin-Tin.

Last of all came a couple whom the villagers eyed yet more eagerly than the bride and bridegroom: a fine old gentleman, who looked round with keen glances that cowed the conscious scapegraces among them, and a stately lady in blue-and-white silk robes, who must surely be like Queen Charlotte.

Last of all came a couple that the villagers watched even more intently than the bride and groom: a distinguished old man, who scanned the crowd with sharp looks that intimidated the aware troublemakers among them, and an elegant lady in blue-and-white silk dresses, who must surely resemble Queen Charlotte.

‘Well, that theer’s whut I coal a pictur,’ said old ‘Mester’ Ford, a true Staffordshire patriarch, who leaned on a stick and held his head very much on one side, with the air of a man who had little hope of the present generation, but would at all events give it the benefit of his criticism. ‘Th’ yoong men noo-a-deys, the’re poor squashy things—the’ looke well anoof, but the’ woon’t wear, the’ woon’t wear. Theer’s ne’er un’ll carry his ’ears like that Sir Cris’fer Chuvrell.’

‘Well, that’s what I call a picture,’ said old ‘Mester’ Ford, a true Staffordshire patriarch, who leaned on a stick and held his head to one side, like a man who has little hope for the current generation but is willing to offer his critique regardless. ‘The young men nowadays, they're just weaklings—they look fine enough, but they won't last, they won't last. There’s never one who’ll carry his ears like that Sir Christopher Chuvrell.’

‘Ull bet ye two pots,’ said another of the seniors, ‘as that yoongster a-walkin’ wi’ th’ parson’s wife ’ll be Sir Cris’fer’s son—he fevours him.’

‘I'll bet you two pots,’ said another of the seniors, ‘that the youngster walking with the parson’s wife is Sir Christopher’s son—he looks like him.’

‘Nay, yae’ll bet that wi’ as big a fule as yersen; hae’s noo son at all. As I oonderstan’, hae’s the nevey as is’ t’ heir th’ esteate. The coochman as puts oop at th’ White Hoss tellt me as theer war another nevey, a deal finer chap t’ looke at nor this un, as died in a fit, all on a soodden, an’ soo this here yoong un’s got upo’ th’ perch istid.’

‘No, you can bet that with someone as foolish as you; he has no son at all. As I understand it, he’s the nephew who’s set to inherit the estate. The coachman who hangs out at the White Horse told me there was another nephew, a much finer-looking guy than this one, who died suddenly from a fit, and now this young one’s taken his place.’

At the church gate Mr. Bates was standing in a new suit, ready to speak words of good omen as the bride and bridegroom approached. He had come all the way from Cheverel Manor on purpose to see Miss Tina happy once more, and would have been in a state of unmixed joy but for the inferiority of the wedding nosegays to what he could have furnished from the garden at the Manor.

At the church gate, Mr. Bates was waiting in a new suit, ready to offer well-wishes as the bride and groom arrived. He had traveled all the way from Cheverel Manor just to see Miss Tina happy again and would have been completely joyful if it weren't for the wedding bouquets not being as nice as what he could have provided from the garden at the Manor.

‘God A’maighty bless ye both, an’ send ye long laife an’ happiness,’ were the good gardener’s rather tremulous words.

‘God Almighty bless you both, and grant you long life and happiness,’ were the good gardener’s somewhat shaky words.

‘Thank you, uncle Bates; always remember Tina,’ said the sweet low voice, which fell on Mr. Bates’s ear for the last time.

‘Thank you, Uncle Bates; always remember Tina,’ said the gentle, soft voice, which reached Mr. Bates’s ear for the final time.

The wedding journey was to be a circuitous route to Shepperton, where Mr. Gilfil had been for several months inducted as vicar. This small living had been given him through the interest of an old friend who had some claim on the gratitude of the Oldinport family; and it was a satisfaction both to Maynard and Sir Christopher that a home to which he might take Caterina had thus readily presented itself at a distance from Cheverel Manor. For it had never yet been thought safe that she should revisit the scene of her sufferings, her health continuing too delicate to encourage the slightest risk of painful excitement. In a year or two, perhaps, by the time old Mr. Crichley, the rector of Cumbermoor, should have left a world of gout, and when Caterina would very likely be a happy mother, Maynard might safely take up his abode at Cumbermoor, and Tina would feel nothing but content at seeing a new ‘little black-eyed monkey’ running up and down the gallery and gardens of the Manor. A mother dreads no memories—those shadows have all melted away in the dawn of baby’s smile.

The wedding journey was going to take a roundabout route to Shepperton, where Mr. Gilfil had been serving as vicar for several months. He got this small position through the help of an old friend who had earned the gratitude of the Oldinport family; it was a relief for both Maynard and Sir Christopher that a place for him to take Caterina had come up so easily, far from Cheverel Manor. They had never thought it was safe for her to return to the site of her suffering, as her health was still too fragile to risk any emotional distress. In a year or two, perhaps, by the time old Mr. Crichley, the rector of Cumbermoor, passed away from his gout, and when Caterina was likely to be a happy mother, Maynard could safely settle in Cumbermoor, and Tina would feel nothing but happiness seeing a new “little black-eyed monkey” running around the gallery and gardens of the Manor. A mother fears no memories—those shadows have all vanished in the light of her baby’s smile.

In these hopes, and in the enjoyment of Tina’s nestling affection, Mr. Gilfil tasted a few months of perfect happiness. She had come to lean entirely on his love, and to find life sweet for his sake. Her continual languor and want of active interest was a natural consequence of bodily feebleness, and the prospect of her becoming a mother was a new ground for hoping the best. But the delicate plant had been too deeply bruised, and in the struggle to put forth a blossom it died.

In these hopes, and in the pleasure of Tina’s affectionate nature, Mr. Gilfil experienced a few months of complete happiness. She had completely relied on his love and found life to be sweet because of it. Her constant fatigue and lack of energy were natural results of her physical weakness, and the thought of her becoming a mother was a new reason to hope for the best. But the fragile plant had been too badly hurt, and in the effort to bloom, it withered away.

Tina died, and Maynard Gilfil’s love went with her into deep silence for evermore.

Tina passed away, and Maynard Gilfil's love went with her into deep silence forever.

EPILOGUE

This was Mr. Gilfil’s love-story, which lay far back from the time when he sat, worn and grey, by his lonely fireside in Shepperton Vicarage. Rich brown locks, passionate love, and deep early sorrow, strangely different as they seem from the scanty white hairs, the apathetic content, and the unexpectant quiescence of old age, are but part of the same life’s journey; as the bright Italian plains, with the sweet Addio of their beckoning maidens, are part of the same day’s travel that brings us to the other side of the mountain, between the sombre rocky walls and among the guttural voices of the Valais.

This was Mr. Gilfil’s love story, which dates back to when he sat, worn and gray, by his lonely fireside in Shepperton Vicarage. Rich brown hair, passionate love, and deep early sorrow, though they seem so different from the sparse white hairs, the indifferent contentment, and the unexcited calm of old age, are just part of the same life’s journey; just as the bright Italian plains, with the sweet Addio of their inviting maidens, are part of the same day’s travel that takes us to the other side of the mountain, between the dark rocky walls and among the guttural voices of the Valais.

To those who were familiar only with the grey-haired Vicar, jogging leisurely along on his old chestnut cob, it would perhaps have been hard to believe that he had ever been the Maynard Gilfil who, with a heart full of passion and tenderness, had urged his black Kitty to her swiftest gallop on the way to Callam, or that the old gentleman of caustic tongue, and bucolic tastes, and sparing habits, had known all the deep secrets of devoted love, had struggled through its days and nights of anguish, and trembled under its unspeakable joys.

To those who only knew the grey-haired Vicar, casually riding along on his old chestnut horse, it might have been hard to believe that he used to be Maynard Gilfil, a man full of passion and tenderness who urged his black mare Kitty to her fastest pace on the way to Callam. It would be surprising to think that this old gentleman, known for his sharp tongue, simple tastes, and frugal ways, had experienced the profound secrets of devoted love, had gone through nights and days of suffering, and had felt the overwhelming joys that came with it.

And indeed the Mr. Gilfil of those late Shepperton days had more of the knots and ruggedness of poor human nature than there lay any clear hint of in the open-eyed loving Maynard. But it is with men as with trees: if you lop off their finest branches, into which they were pouring their young life-juice, the wounds will be healed over with some rough boss, some odd excrescence; and what might have been a grand tree expanding into liberal shade, is but a whimsical misshapen trunk. Many an irritating fault, many an unlovely oddity, has come of a hard sorrow, which has crushed and maimed the nature just when it was expanding into plenteous beauty; and the trivial erring life which we visit with our harsh blame, may be but as the unsteady motion of a man whose best limb is withered.

And indeed, the Mr. Gilfil from those late Shepperton days had more of the knots and roughness of flawed human nature than there was any clear sign of in the open-eyed, loving Maynard. But it's like trees: if you cut off their best branches, where they were pouring in their youthful vitality, the wounds will heal over with some rough bump or odd growth; and what could have been a magnificent tree providing generous shade is just a strangely shaped trunk. Many annoying faults and unappealing quirks come from deep sorrow, which has crushed and damaged a person's nature just as it was blossoming into abundant beauty; and the trivial mistakes we harshly criticize may just be the unsteady movement of someone whose best limb is withered.

And so the dear old Vicar, though he had something of the knotted whimsical character of the poor lopped oak, had yet been sketched out by nature as a noble tree. The heart of him was sound, the grain was of the finest; and in the grey-haired man who filled his pocket with sugar-plums for the little children, whose most biting words were directed against the evil doing of the rich man, and who, with all his social pipes and slipshod talk, never sank below the highest level of his parishioners’ respect, there was the main trunk of the same brave, faithful, tender nature that had poured out the finest, freshest forces of its life-current in a first and only love—the love of Tina.

And so the dear old Vicar, even though he had some of the quirky charm of the poor lopped oak, was still shaped by nature as a noble tree. His heart was strong, and the essence of him was top-notch; in the grey-haired man who stuffed his pockets with sweets for the little kids, whose harshest words were aimed at the wrongdoings of the wealthy, and who, despite his casual demeanor and unpolished speech, never dropped below the highest level of respect from his parishioners, there was the core of the same brave, loyal, and caring nature that had given its finest, freshest energy to a first and only love—the love of Tina.

JANET’S REPENTANCE

Chapter 1

‘No!’ said lawyer Dempster, in a loud, rasping, oratorical tone, struggling against chronic huskiness, ‘as long as my Maker grants me power of voice and power of intellect, I will take every legal means to resist the introduction of demoralizing, methodistical doctrine into this parish; I will not supinely suffer an insult to be inflicted on our venerable pastor, who has given us sound instruction for half a century.’

‘No!’ said lawyer Dempster, in a loud, raspy, oratorical tone, struggling against his chronic hoarseness, ‘as long as my Creator gives me the ability to speak and think, I will use every legal option to oppose the introduction of demoralizing, methodical doctrine into this parish; I will not passively allow an insult to be directed at our respected pastor, who has provided us with solid guidance for fifty years.’

It was very warm everywhere that evening, but especially in the bar of the Red Lion at Milby, where Mr. Dempster was seated mixing his third glass of brandy-and-water. He was a tall and rather massive man, and the front half of his large surface was so well dredged with snuff, that the cat, having inadvertently come near him, had been seized with a severe fit of sneezing—an accident which, being cruelly misunderstood, had caused her to be driven contumeliously from the bar. Mr. Dempster habitually held his chin tucked in, and his head hanging forward, weighed down, perhaps, by a preponderant occiput and a bulging forehead, between which his closely-clipped coronal surface lay like a flat and new-mown table-land. The only other observable features were puffy cheeks and a protruding yet lipless mouth. Of his nose I can only say that it was snuffy; and as Mr. Dempster was never caught in the act of looking at anything in particular, it would have been difficult to swear to the colour of his eyes.

It was really warm everywhere that evening, but especially in the bar of the Red Lion at Milby, where Mr. Dempster was mixing his third glass of brandy and water. He was a tall and somewhat hefty guy, and the front half of his large surface was so covered in snuff that the cat, having accidentally wandered too close, had a severe sneezing fit—an incident that, being poorly understood, got her kicked out of the bar. Mr. Dempster usually held his chin tucked in, with his head hanging forward, possibly weighed down by a prominent back of the head and a bulging forehead, between which his closely cropped hair lay flat like a freshly mowed field. The only other noticeable features were puffy cheeks and a protruding, lipless mouth. As for his nose, it was just snuffy; and since Mr. Dempster was never seen focusing on anything specific, it would have been hard to say what color his eyes were.

‘Well! I’ll not stick at giving myself trouble to put down such hypocritical cant,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, the rich miller. ‘I know well enough what your Sunday evening lectures are good for—for wenches to meet their sweethearts, and brew mischief. There’s work enough with the servant-maids as it is—such as I never heard the like of in my mother’s time, and it’s all along o’ your schooling and newfangled plans. Give me a servant as can nayther read nor write, I say, and doesn’t know the year o’ the Lord as she was born in. I should like to know what good those Sunday schools have done, now. Why, the boys used to go a birds-nesting of a Sunday morning; and a capital thing too—ask any farmer; and very pretty it was to see the strings o’ heggs hanging up in poor people’s houses. You’ll not see ’em nowhere now.’

‘Well! I won’t hesitate to give myself a hard time addressing such hypocritical nonsense,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, the wealthy miller. ‘I know exactly what your Sunday evening talks are for—so girls can meet their boyfriends and cause trouble. There’s plenty of work with the maids already—like nothing I’ve ever heard of in my mother’s day, and it’s all because of your education and these newfangled ideas. I’d prefer a servant who can neither read nor write and doesn’t even know the year she was born. I’d like to see what good those Sunday schools have done. Back in the day, the boys used to go bird-nesting on Sunday mornings; and it was a great thing too—just ask any farmer; and it was lovely to see the strings of eggs hanging in the homes of poor people. You won't see that anywhere now.’

‘Pooh!’ said Mr. Luke Byles, who piqued himself on his reading, and was in the habit of asking casual acquaintances if they knew anything of Hobbes; ‘it is right enough that the lower orders should be instructed. But this sectarianism within the Church ought to be put down. In point of fact, these Evangelicals are not Churchmen at all; they’re no better than Presbyterians.’

‘Pooh!’ said Mr. Luke Byles, who prided himself on his reading and often asked casual acquaintances if they knew anything about Hobbes; ‘it’s fine for the lower classes to be educated. But this division within the Church should be eliminated. The truth is, these Evangelicals aren’t really Church members at all; they’re no better than Presbyterians.’

‘Presbyterians? what are they?’ inquired Mr. Tomlinson, who often said his father had given him ‘no eddication, and he didn’t care who knowed it; he could buy up most o’ th’ eddicated men he’d ever come across.’

‘Presbyterians? What are they?’ asked Mr. Tomlinson, who often said his father had given him ‘no education, and he didn’t care who knew it; he could buy up most of the educated men he’d ever met.’

‘The Presbyterians,’ said Mr. Dempster, in rather a louder tone than before, holding that every appeal for information must naturally be addressed to him, ‘are a sect founded in the reign of Charles I., by a man named John Presbyter, who hatched all the brood of Dissenting vermin that crawl about in dirty alleys, and circumvent the lord of the manor in order to get a few yards of ground for their pigeon-house conventicles.’

‘The Presbyterians,’ Mr. Dempster said, in a somewhat louder tone than before, assuming that every request for information should naturally be directed to him, ‘are a group that was founded during the reign of Charles I by a man named John Presbyter, who spawned all the Dissenting pests that slither around in dirty alleys and trick the lord of the manor to get a few yards of land for their makeshift meeting places.’

‘No, no, Dempster,’ said Mr. Luke Byles, ‘you’re out there. Presbyterianism is derived from the word presbyter, meaning an elder.’

‘No, no, Dempster,’ said Mr. Luke Byles, ‘you’re missing the point. Presbyterianism comes from the word presbyter, which means an elder.’

‘Don’t contradict me, sir!’ stormed Dempster. ‘I say the word presbyterian is derived from John Presbyter, a miserable fanatic who wore a suit of leather, and went about from town to village, and from village to hamlet, inoculating the vulgar with the asinine virus of dissent.’

‘Don’t contradict me, sir!’ shouted Dempster. ‘I say the term presbyterian comes from John Presbyter, a pathetic fanatic who wore a leather suit and traveled from town to village, and from village to hamlet, infecting the masses with the ridiculous virus of dissent.’

‘Come, Byles, that seems a deal more likely,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, in a conciliatory tone, apparently of opinion that history was a process of ingenious guessing.

‘Come on, Byles, that sounds much more likely,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, in a friendly tone, clearly thinking that history was just a clever guessing game.

‘It’s not a question of likelihood; it’s a known fact. I could fetch you my Encyclopædia, and show it you this moment.’

‘It’s not about whether it’s likely; it’s a fact. I could grab my Encyclopædia and show it to you right now.’

‘I don’t care a straw, sir, either for you or your Encyclopædia,’ said Mr. Dempster; ‘a farrago of false information, of which you picked up an imperfect copy in a cargo of waste paper. Will you tell me, sir, that I don’t know the origin of Presbyterianism? I, sir, a man known through the county, intrusted with the affairs of half a score parishes; while you, sir, are ignored by the very fleas that infest the miserable alley in which you were bred.’

‘I don’t care at all, sir, for you or your Encyclopaedia,’ said Mr. Dempster; ‘a mix of false information that you picked up from a half-baked copy in a load of trash. Are you really going to tell me, sir, that I don’t know the origin of Presbyterianism? I, sir, a man known throughout the county, trusted with the affairs of several parishes; while you, sir, are overlooked even by the fleas that infest the miserable alley where you grew up.’

A loud and general laugh, with ‘You’d better let him alone Byles’; ‘You’ll not get the better of Dempster in a hurry’, drowned the retort of the too well-informed Mr. Byles, who, white with rage, rose and walked out of the bar.

A loud, collective laugh erupted, along with, "You’d better leave him alone, Byles; you won’t outsmart Dempster anytime soon," which cut off Mr. Byles, who was too well-informed. He stood up, pale with anger, and walked out of the bar.

‘A meddlesome, upstart, Jacobinical fellow, gentlemen’, continued Mr. Dempster. ‘I was determined to be rid of him. What does he mean by thrusting himself into our company? A man with about as much principle as he has property, which, to my knowledge, is considerably less than none. An insolvent atheist, gentlemen. A deistical prater, fit to sit in the chimney-corner of a pot-house, and make blasphemous comments on the one greasy newspaper fingered by beer-swilling tinkers. I will not suffer in my company a man who speaks lightly of religion. The signature of a fellow like Byles would be a blot on our protest.’

‘A meddlesome, arrogant, radical guy, gentlemen,’ continued Mr. Dempster. ‘I was determined to get rid of him. What does he think he’s doing by inserting himself into our group? A man with as much integrity as he has property, which, as far as I know, is actually less than nothing. An insolvent atheist, gentlemen. A godless talker, fit to sit in the corner of a run-down bar, making blasphemous comments about the one greasy newspaper touched by beer-drinking tradesmen. I will not tolerate in my company a man who speaks casually about religion. The signature of a guy like Byles would be a stain on our movement.’

‘And how do you get on with your signatures?’ said Mr. Pilgrim, the doctor, who had presented his large top-booted person within the bar while Mr. Dempster was speaking. Mr. Pilgrim had just returned from one of his long day’s rounds among the farm-houses, in the course of which he had sat down to two hearty meals that might have been mistaken for dinners if he had not declared them to be ‘snaps’; and as each snap had been followed by a few glasses of ‘mixture’; containing a less liberal proportion of water than the articles he himself labelled with that broadly generic name, he was in that condition which his groom indicated with poetic ambiguity by saying that ‘master had been in the sunshine’. Under these circumstances, after a hard day, in which he had really had no regular meal, it seemed a natural relaxation to step into the bar of the Red Lion, where, as it was Saturday evening, he should be sure to find Dempster, and hear the latest news about the protest against the evening lecture.

‘So, how are you getting along with your signatures?’ asked Mr. Pilgrim, the doctor, who had entered the bar just as Mr. Dempster was speaking. Mr. Pilgrim had just returned from one of his long days visiting the farmhouses, during which he had enjoyed two substantial meals that could have easily been mistaken for dinners if he hadn’t referred to them as ‘snaps’; and each snap was followed by a few glasses of ‘mixture’, which contained a notably higher ratio of alcohol than the drinks he labeled with that broadly generic term. He was in that state which his groom poetically described as ‘master had been in the sunshine’. Given all this, after a long day where he really hadn’t had a proper meal, it felt natural to stop by the bar of the Red Lion, where, since it was Saturday evening, he knew he’d find Dempster and catch up on the latest news about the protest against the evening lecture.

‘Have you hooked Ben Landor yet?’ he continued, as he took two chairs, one for his body, and the other for his right leg.

‘Have you managed to get Ben Landor on board yet?’ he continued, as he pulled up two chairs, one for himself and the other for his right leg.

‘No,’ said Mr. Budd, the churchwarden, shaking his head; ‘Ben Landor has a way of keeping himself neutral in everything, and he doesn’t like to oppose his father. Old Landor is a regular Tryanite. But we haven’t got your name yet, Pilgrim.’

‘No,’ said Mr. Budd, the churchwarden, shaking his head; ‘Ben Landor has a way of staying neutral in everything, and he doesn’t want to go against his father. Old Landor is a total Tryanite. But we haven’t got your name yet, Pilgrim.’

‘Tut tut, Budd,’ said Mr. Dempster, sarcastically, ‘you don’t expect Pilgrim to sign? He’s got a dozen Tryanite livers under his treatment. Nothing like cant and methodism for producing a superfluity of bile.’

‘Tut tut, Budd,’ said Mr. Dempster, sarcastically, ‘you don’t expect Pilgrim to sign? He’s got a dozen Tryanite livers under his treatment. Nothing like preaching and methodism for producing an excess of bile.’

‘O, I thought, as Pratt had declared himself a Tryanite, we should be sure to get Pilgrim on our side.’

‘Oh, I thought, since Pratt had declared himself a Tryanite, we should definitely get Pilgrim on our side.’

Mr. Pilgrim was not a man to sit quiet under a sarcasm, nature having endowed him with a considerable share of self-defensive wit. In his most sober moments he had an impediment in his speech, and as copious gin-and-water stimulated not the speech but the impediment, he had time to make his retort sufficiently bitter.

Mr. Pilgrim wasn't the type to quietly take sarcasm, as he had a good amount of self-defensive wit. Even in his calmest moments, he had a speech impediment, and since drinking lots of gin-and-water didn't help his speaking but made the impediment worse, he had plenty of time to deliver a sharp comeback.

‘Why, to tell you the truth, Budd,’ he spluttered, ‘there’s a report all over the town that Deb Traunter swears you shall take her with you as one of the delegates, and they say there’s to be a fine crowd at your door the morning you start, to see the row. Knowing your tenderness for that member of the fair sex, I thought you might find it impossible to deny her. I hang back a little from signing on that account, as Prendergast might not take the protest well if Deb Traunter went with you.’

‘Honestly, Budd,’ he stammered, ‘there are rumors all over town that Deb Traunter insists you take her with you as one of the delegates, and they say a big crowd will be at your door the morning you leave to see the scene. Knowing how soft-hearted you are about that lady, I figured you might find it hard to say no to her. I’m holding back from signing for that reason, as Prendergast might not react well if Deb Traunter goes with you.’

Mr. Budd was a small, sleek-headed bachelor of five-and-forty, whose scandalous life had long furnished his more moral neighbours with an after-dinner joke. He had no other striking characteristic, except that he was a currier of choleric temperament, so that you might wonder why he had been chosen as clergyman’s churchwarden, if I did not tell you that he had recently been elected through Mr. Dempster’s exertions, in order that his zeal against the threatened evening lecture might be backed by the dignity of office.

Mr. Budd was a small, smooth-headed bachelor in his forties, whose notorious lifestyle had long provided his more morally-upstanding neighbors with a punchline for after-dinner jokes. He had no other notable traits, except for his irritable nature as a leather worker, which might make you question why he was picked as the churchwarden for the clergyman. But I should mention that he had recently been elected thanks to Mr. Dempster’s efforts, to ensure that his enthusiasm against the proposed evening lecture was supported by the authority of his position.

‘Come, come, Pilgrim,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, covering Mr. Budd’s retreat, ‘you know you like to wear the crier’s coat, green o’ one side and red o’ the other. You’ve been to hear Tryan preach at Paddiford Common—you know you have.’

‘Come on, Pilgrim,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, blocking Mr. Budd’s escape, ‘you know you enjoy wearing the crier’s coat, green on one side and red on the other. You’ve gone to listen to Tryan preach at Paddiford Common—you know you have.’

‘To be sure I have; and a capital sermon too. It’s a pity you were not there. It was addressed to those “void of understanding.”’

‘Sure I have; and it was a great sermon too. It’s a shame you weren’t there. It was aimed at those “lacking understanding.”’

‘No, no, you’ll never catch me there,’ returned Mr. Tomlinson, not in the least stung: ‘he preaches without book, they say, just like a Dissenter. It must be a rambling sort of a concern.’

‘No, no, you’ll never find me there,’ Mr. Tomlinson replied, completely unfazed: ‘they say he preaches without notes, just like a Dissenter. It must be a pretty disorganized kind of thing.’

‘That’s not the worst,’ said Mr. Dempster; ‘he preaches against good works; says good works are not necessary to salvation—a sectarian, antinomian, anabaptist doctrine. Tell a man he is not to be saved by his works, and you open the flood-gates of all immorality. You see it in all these canting innovators; they’re all bad ones by the sly; smooth-faced, drawling, hypocritical fellows, who pretend ginger isn’t hot in their mouths, and cry down all innocent pleasures; their hearts are all the blacker for their sanctimonious outsides. Haven’t we been warned against those who make clean the outside of the cup and the platter? There’s this Tryan, now, he goes about praying with old women, and singing with charity children; but what has he really got his eye on all the while? A domineering ambitious Jesuit, gentlemen; all he wants is to get his foot far enough into the parish to step into Crewe’s shoes when the old gentleman dies. Depend upon it, whenever you see a man pretending to be better than his neighbours, that man has either some cunning end to serve, or his heart is rotten with spiritual pride.’

"That's not the worst," said Mr. Dempster. "He preaches against good works, claiming that good works aren't necessary for salvation—it's a sectarian, antinomian, Anabaptist belief. Tell someone they won't be saved by their actions, and you open the floodgates to all kinds of immorality. You see it with all these phony innovators; they're all sneaky, smooth-talking, hypocritical guys who pretend they don't enjoy anything bad and look down on all innocent pleasures. Their hearts are all the darker for their pious exteriors. Haven't we been warned about those who clean the outside of the cup and dish? Look at this Tryan—he goes around praying with old women and singing with charity kids, but what is he really focused on the whole time? A power-hungry, ambitious manipulator, gentlemen; all he wants is to secure a place in the parish so he can take over Crewe's position when the old man passes away. Trust me, whenever you see a guy acting better than everyone else, he's either got some sneaky agenda or his heart is corrupted by spiritual pride."

As if to guarantee himself against this awful sin, Mr. Dempster seized his glass of brandy-and-water, and tossed off the contents with even greater rapidity than usual.

As if to protect himself from this terrible sin, Mr. Dempster grabbed his glass of brandy-and-water and downed it even faster than usual.

‘Have you fixed on your third delegate yet?’ said Mr. Pilgrim, whose taste was for detail rather than for dissertation.

‘Have you chosen your third delegate yet?’ said Mr. Pilgrim, who preferred details over lengthy discussions.

‘That’s the man,’ answered Dempster, pointing to Mr. Tomlinson. ‘We start for Elmstoke Rectory on Tuesday morning; so, if you mean to give us your signature, you must make up your mind pretty quickly, Pilgrim.’

‘That’s the guy,’ replied Dempster, pointing to Mr. Tomlinson. ‘We're leaving for Elmstoke Rectory on Tuesday morning, so if you plan to give us your signature, you need to decide pretty soon, Pilgrim.’

Mr. Pilgrim did not in the least mean it, so he only said, ‘I shouldn’t wonder if Tryan turns out too many for you, after all. He’s got a well-oiled tongue of his own, and has perhaps talked over Prendergast into a determination to stand by him.’

Mr. Pilgrim didn’t really mean it, so he just said, ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if Tryan ends up being too much for you, after all. He’s got a smooth way with words and might have convinced Prendergast to support him.’

‘Ve-ry little fear of that,’ said Dempster, in a confident tone. ‘I’ll soon bring him round. Tryan has got his match. I’ve plenty of rods in pickle for Tryan.’

‘Not worried about that at all,’ said Dempster, confidently. ‘I’ll take care of it soon. Tryan has met his match. I’ve got plenty of tricks up my sleeve for Tryan.’

At this moment Boots entered the bar, and put a letter into the lawyer’s hands, saying, ‘There’s Trower’s man just come into the yard wi’ a gig, sir, an’ he’s brought this here letter.’

At that moment, Boots walked into the bar and handed a letter to the lawyer, saying, “Trower's guy just came into the yard with a carriage, sir, and he brought this letter.”

Mr. Dempster read the letter and said, ‘Tell him to turn the gig—I’ll be with him in a minute. Here, run to Gruby’s and get this snuff-box filled—quick!’

Mr. Dempster read the letter and said, ‘Tell him to turn the gig—I’ll be with him in a minute. Here, run to Gruby’s and get this snuff box filled—quick!’

‘Trower’s worse, I suppose; eh, Dempster? Wants you to alter his will, eh?’ said Mr. Pilgrim.

‘Trower’s in worse shape, I guess; right, Dempster? He wants you to change his will, huh?’ said Mr. Pilgrim.

‘Business—business—business—I don’t know exactly what,’ answered the cautious Dempster, rising deliberately from his chair, thrusting on his low-crowned hat, and walking with a slow but not unsteady step out of the bar.

‘Business—business—business—I’m not sure exactly what,’ replied the cautious Dempster, standing up deliberately from his chair, putting on his low-crowned hat, and walking with a slow but steady step out of the bar.

‘I never see Dempster’s equal; if I did I’ll be shot,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, looking after the lawyer admiringly. ‘Why, he’s drunk the best part of a bottle o’ brandy since here we’ve been sitting, and I’ll bet a guinea, when he’s got to Trower’s his head’ll be as clear as mine. He knows more about law when he’s drunk than all the rest on ’em when they’re sober.’

‘I’ve never seen anyone like Dempster; if I did, I’d be shocked,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, watching the lawyer with admiration. ‘He’s knocked back most of a bottle of brandy while we’ve been sitting here, and I’d bet a guinea that by the time he gets to Trower’s, his mind will be as sharp as mine. He knows more about the law when he’s drunk than all the others do when they’re sober.’

‘Ay, and other things too, besides law,’ said Mr. Budd. ‘Did you notice how he took up Byles about the Presbyterians? Bless your heart, he knows everything, Dempster does. He studied very hard when he was a young man.’

‘Yeah, and other things too, besides the law,’ said Mr. Budd. ‘Did you see how he challenged Byles about the Presbyterians? Believe me, Dempster knows everything. He studied really hard when he was younger.’

Chapter 2

The conversation just recorded is not, I am aware, remarkably refined or witty; but if it had been, it could hardly have taken place in Milby when Mr. Dempster flourished there, and old Mr. Crewe, the curate, was yet alive.

The conversation that was just recorded isn’t, as I know, particularly polished or clever; but if it had been, it wouldn't have been possible in Milby while Mr. Dempster was around and old Mr. Crewe, the curate, was still alive.

More than a quarter of a century has slipped by since then, and in the interval Milby has advanced at as rapid a pace as other market-towns in her Majesty’s dominions. By this time it has a handsome railway station, where the drowsy London traveller may look out by the brilliant gas-light and see perfectly sober papas and husbands alighting with their leatherbags after transacting their day’s business at the county town. There is a resident rector, who appeals to the consciences of his hearers with all the immense advantages of a divine who keeps his own carriage; the church is enlarged by at least five hundred sittings; and the grammar school, conducted on reformed principles, has its upper forms crowded with the genteel youth of Milby. The gentlemen there fall into no other excess at dinner-parties than the perfectly well-bred and virtuous excess of stupidity; and though the ladies are still said sometimes to take too much upon themselves, they are never known to take too much in any other way. The conversation is sometimes quite literary, for there is a flourishing book-club, and many of the younger ladies have carried their studies so far as to have forgotten a little German. In short, Milby is now a refined, moral, and enlightened town; no more resembling the Milby of former days than the huge, long-skirted, drab greatcoat that embarrassed the ankles of our grandfathers resembled the light paletot in which we tread jauntily through the muddiest streets, or than the bottle-nosed Britons, rejoicing over a tankard, in the old sign of the Two Travellers at Milby, resembled the severe-looking gentleman in straps and high collars whom a modern artist has represented as sipping the imaginary port of that well-known commercial house.

More than twenty-five years have passed since then, and during that time, Milby has progressed as quickly as other market towns in Queen’s territory. Now it has a nice railway station, where sleepy travelers from London can look out under the bright gas lights and see perfectly sober dads and husbands getting off with their leather bags after finishing their day’s work at the county town. There’s a resident rector who appeals to his congregation's consciences with all the benefits of being a clergyman who owns a carriage; the church has been expanded by at least five hundred seats; and the grammar school, run on modern principles, is filled with the stylish young people of Milby. The gentlemen there only indulge in a perfectly polite and respectable kind of excess: the excess of dullness at dinner parties; and while the ladies are still said to take on too much sometimes, they are never known to overindulge in any other way. Conversations can even be quite literary, as there’s a thriving book club, and many of the younger women have advanced their studies to the extent of forgetting a little German. In short, Milby is now a cultured, moral, and enlightened town, bearing no resemblance to the Milby of the past — just as the oversized, long, drab coat that tripped up our grandfathers bears no resemblance to the light overcoat we confidently wear while walking through the muddiest streets, or the bottle-nosed Brits celebrating with a tankard in the old sign of the Two Travelers at Milby have nothing in common with the grave gentleman in straps and high collars depicted by a contemporary artist as sipping the imaginary port of that well-known commercial establishment.

But pray, reader, dismiss from your mind all the refined and fashionable ideas associated with this advanced state of things, and transport your imagination to a time when Milby had no gas-lights; when the mail drove up dusty or bespattered to the door of the Red Lion; when old Mr. Crewe, the curate, in a brown Brutus wig, delivered inaudible sermons on a Sunday, and on a week-day imparted the education of a gentleman—that is to say, an arduous inacquaintance with Latin through the medium of the Eton Grammar—to three pupils in the upper grammar-school.

But please, reader, forget all the fancy and trendy ideas connected with how things are now, and imagine a time when Milby didn’t have gas lights; when the mail carriage pulled up, dusty or muddy, to the door of the Red Lion; when old Mr. Crewe, the curate, in a brown Brutus wig, delivered sermons that were hard to hear on Sundays, and during the week taught the education of a gentleman—that is to say, a challenging lack of knowledge in Latin using the Eton Grammar—to three students at the upper grammar school.

If you had passed through Milby on the coach at that time, you would have had no idea what important people lived there, and how very high a sense of rank was prevalent among them. It was a dingy-looking town, with a strong smell of tanning up one street and a great shaking of hand-looms up another; and even in that focus of aristocracy, Friar’s Gate, the houses would not have seemed very imposing to the hasty and superficial glance of a passenger. You might still less have suspected that the figure in light fustian and large grey whiskers, leaning against the grocer’s door-post in High Street, was no less a person than Mr. Lowme, one of the most aristocratic men in Milby, said to have been ‘brought up a gentleman’, and to have had the gay habits accordant with that station, keeping his harriers and other expensive animals. He was now quite an elderly Lothario, reduced to the most economical sins; the prominent form of his gaiety being this of lounging at Mr. Gruby’s door, embarrassing the servant-maids who came for grocery, and talking scandal with the rare passers-by. Still, it was generally understood that Mr. Lowme belonged to the highest circle of Milby society; his sons and daughters held up their heads very high indeed; and in spite of his condescending way of chatting and drinking with inferior people, he would himself have scorned any closer identification with them. It must be admitted that he was of some service to the town in this station at Mr. Gruby’s door, for he and Mr. Landor’s Newfoundland dog, who stretched himself and gaped on the opposite causeway, took something from the lifeless air that belonged to the High Street on every day except Saturday.

If you had passed through Milby on the coach back then, you wouldn’t have realized how many important people lived there or how strong their sense of rank was. It was a grim-looking town, with a strong smell of tanning wafting up one street and the sound of hand-looms clattering up another; even in the prestigious area of Friar’s Gate, the houses wouldn’t have seemed very impressive to a hurried, casual observer. You would have been even less likely to suspect that the man in light fabric and large gray whiskers, leaning against the grocer’s doorpost on High Street, was none other than Mr. Lowme, one of the most elite men in Milby, said to have been ‘raised a gentleman’ and known for his extravagant habits that matched that status, like keeping harriers and other pricey animals. Now, he was quite an elderly charmer, reduced to the most modest of vices; his main form of amusement being to lounge at Mr. Gruby’s door, making the servant girls uneasy who came for groceries, and gossiping with the few passers-by. Still, it was generally accepted that Mr. Lowme belonged to the top tier of Milby society; his sons and daughters held their heads very high; and despite his condescending chats and drinks with lesser folks, he would have scorned any closer association with them. It must be acknowledged that he provided some service to the town in his position at Mr. Gruby’s door, as he and Mr. Landor’s Newfoundland dog, who stretched out and yawned on the opposite sidewalk, brought some life to the otherwise dull atmosphere of High Street on all days except Saturday.

Certainly, in spite of three assemblies and a charity ball in the winter, the occasional advent of a ventriloquist, or a company of itinerant players, some of whom were very highly thought of in London, and the annual three-days’ fair in June, Milby might be considered dull by people of a hypochondriacal temperament; and perhaps this was one reason why many of the middle-aged inhabitants, male and female, often found it impossible to keep up their spirits without a very abundant supply of stimulants. It is true there were several substantial men who had a reputation for exceptional sobriety, so that Milby habits were really not as bad as possible; and no one is warranted in saying that old Mr. Crewe’s flock could not have been worse without any clergyman at all.

Sure, despite having three gatherings and a charity ball in the winter, the occasional visit from a ventriloquist, or a group of traveling performers, some of whom were quite well-regarded in London, and the annual three-day fair in June, Milby might seem boring to those with a tendency toward gloominess. This might be one reason why many of the middle-aged residents, both men and women, often struggled to stay upbeat without a generous amount of drinks. It’s true there were a few respectable men known for their exceptional sobriety, so Milby’s habits weren’t as bad as they could be; and no one can say that old Mr. Crewe’s group wouldn’t have been worse off without any clergyman at all.

The well-dressed parishioners generally were very regular church-goers, and to the younger ladies and gentlemen I am inclined to think that the Sunday morning service was the most exciting event of the week; for few places could present a more brilliant show of out-door toilettes than might be seen issuing from Milby church at one o’clock. There were the four tall Miss Pittmans, old lawyer Pittman’s daughters, with cannon curls surmounted by large hats, and long, drooping ostrich feathers of parrot green. There was Miss Phipps, with a crimson bonnet, very much tilted up behind, and a cockade of stiff feathers on the summit. There was Miss Landor, the belle of Milby, clad regally in purple and ermine, with a plume of feathers neither drooping nor erect, but maintaining a discreet medium. There were the three Miss Tomlinsons, who imitated Miss Landor, and also wore ermine and feathers; but their beauty was considered of a coarse order, and their square forms were quite unsuited to the round tippet which fell with such remarkable grace on Miss Landor’s sloping shoulders. Looking at this plumed procession of ladies, you would have formed rather a high idea of Milby wealth; yet there was only one close carriage in the place, and that was old Mr. Landor’s, the banker, who, I think, never drove more than one horse. These sumptuously-attired ladies flashed past the vulgar eye in one-horse chaises, by no means of a superior build.

The stylish parishioners were usually regular church-goers, and I think the Sunday morning service was the most exciting event of the week for the younger ladies and gentlemen; few places could show off outdoor outfits as brilliantly as the crowd emerging from Milby church at one o'clock. There were the four tall Miss Pittmans, the daughters of old lawyer Pittman, with big curls topped with large hats and long, drooping ostrich feathers in bright parrot green. There was Miss Phipps, wearing a red bonnet tilted up at the back, adorned with a stiff feather cockade on top. There was Miss Landor, the belle of Milby, dressed regally in purple and ermine, sporting a plume of feathers that neither drooped nor stood upright, but maintained a tasteful balance. The three Miss Tomlinsons tried to emulate Miss Landor, wearing ermine and feathers as well; however, their beauty was seen as more coarse, and their square figures did not suit the elegant round tippet that draped so gracefully over Miss Landor’s sloping shoulders. Watching this feathered procession of ladies, you would have gotten a rather lofty impression of Milby’s wealth; yet there was only one closed carriage in town, and that belonged to old Mr. Landor, the banker, who, I believe, never drove more than one horse. These lavishly dressed ladies flashed by the unrefined eye in one-horse carriages that were by no means of high quality.

The young gentlemen, too, were not without their little Sunday displays of costume, of a limited masculine kind. Mr. Eustace Landor, being nearly of age, had recently acquired a diamond ring, together with the habit of rubbing his hand through his hair. He was tall and dark, and thus had an advantage which Mr. Alfred Phipps, who, like his sister, was blond and stumpy, found it difficult to overtake, even by the severest attention to shirt-studs, and the particular shade of brown that was best relieved by gilt buttons.

The young guys also had their own little Sunday fashion statements, though they were mostly just basic menswear. Mr. Eustace Landor, nearing adulthood, had recently gotten a diamond ring and started the habit of running his hand through his hair. He was tall and dark, giving him an edge that Mr. Alfred Phipps, who, like his sister, was blond and short, struggled to match, even with his intense focus on shirt studs and the specific shade of brown that looked best with gold buttons.

The respect for the Sabbath, manifested in this attention to costume, was unhappily counterbalanced by considerable levity of behaviour during the prayers and sermon; for the young ladies and gentlemen of Milby were of a very satirical turn, Miss Landor especially being considered remarkably clever, and a terrible quiz; and the large congregation necessarily containing many persons inferior in dress and demeanour to the distinguished aristocratic minority, divine service offered irresistible temptations to joking, through the medium of telegraphic communications from the galleries to the aisles and back again. I remember blushing very much, and thinking Miss Landor was laughing at me, because I was appearing in coat-tails for the first time, when I saw her look down slyly towards where I sat, and then turn with a titter to handsome Mr. Bob Lowme, who had such beautiful whiskers meeting under his chin. But perhaps she was not thinking of me, after all; for our pew was near the pulpit, and there was almost always something funny about old Mr. Crewe. His brown wig was hardly ever put on quite right, and he had a way of raising his voice for three or four words, and lowering it again to a mumble, so that we could scarcely make out a word he said; though, as my mother observed, that was of no consequence in the prayers, since every one had a prayer-book; and as for the sermon, she continued with some causticity, we all of us heard more of it than we could remember when we got home.

The respect for the Sabbath, shown through attention to attire, was unfortunately balanced out by a lot of lighthearted behavior during the prayers and sermon. The young men and women of Milby were very sarcastic, with Miss Landor being especially considered clever and a real tease. The large congregation included many people who dressed and acted less formally than the upper-class minority, making divine service an irresistible opportunity for jokes through messages sent from the galleries to the aisles and back. I remember feeling really embarrassed, thinking Miss Landor was laughing at me because I was wearing coat-tails for the first time. I saw her glance down slyly at me and then giggle with the handsome Mr. Bob Lowme, who had those lovely whiskers meeting under his chin. But maybe she wasn't even thinking about me; our pew was near the pulpit, and old Mr. Crewe was always a little amusing. His brown wig was rarely on straight, and he had this habit of suddenly raising his voice for a few words and then lowering it back to a mumble, so we could hardly understand anything he said. But as my mother pointed out, that didn’t matter much during the prayers since everyone had a prayer-book, and as for the sermon, she added with a bit of sharpness, we all heard more of it than we could actually remember when we got home.

This youthful generation was not particularly literary. The young ladies who frizzed their hair, and gathered it all into large barricades in front of their heads, leaving their occipital region exposed without ornament, as if that, being a back view, was of no consequence, dreamed as little that their daughters would read a selection of German poetry, and be able to express an admiration for Schiller, as that they would turn all their hair the other way—that instead of threatening us with barricades in front, they would be most killing in retreat,

This young generation wasn't really into literature. The young women who styled their hair in elaborate ways, piling it up in big structures at the front while leaving the back completely plain, seemed to think the back view didn’t matter at all. They never imagined their daughters would read German poetry and admire Schiller, just like they wouldn’t dream of flipping their hair back—that instead of presenting a bold front, they would actually be striking when they stepped back.

‘And, like the Parthian, wound us as they fly.’

Those charming well-frizzed ladies spoke French indeed with considerable facility, unshackled by any timid regard to idiom, and were in the habit of conducting conversations in that language in the presence of their less instructed elders; for according to the standard of those backward days, their education had been very lavish, such young ladies as Miss Landor, Miss Phipps, and the Miss Pittmans, having been ‘finished’ at distant and expensive schools.

Those charmingly well-coiffed ladies spoke French with great ease, unconcerned about language rules, and often held conversations in that language in front of their less experienced elders. Back in those less progressive times, their education was quite extravagant, with young ladies like Miss Landor, Miss Phipps, and the Miss Pittmans being ‘finished’ at far-away and pricey schools.

Old lawyer Pittman had once been a very important person indeed, having in his earlier days managed the affairs of several gentlemen in those parts, who had subsequently been obliged to sell everything and leave the country, in which crisis Mr. Pittman accommodatingly stepped in as a purchaser of their estates, taking on himself the risk and trouble of a more leisurely sale; which, however, happened to turn out very much to his advantage. Such opportunities occur quite unexpectedly in the way of business. But I think Mr. Pittman must have been unlucky in his later speculations, for now, in his old age, he had not the reputation of being very rich; and though he rode slowly to his office in Milby every morning on an old white hackney, he had to resign the chief profits, as well as the active business of the firm, to his younger partner, Dempster. No one in Milby considered old Pittman a virtuous man, and the elder townspeople were not at all backward in narrating the least advantageous portions of his biography in a very round unvarnished manner. Yet I could never observe that they trusted him any the less, or liked him any the worse. Indeed, Pittman and Dempster were the popular lawyers of Milby and its neighbourhood, and Mr. Benjamin Landor, whom no one had anything particular to say against, had a very meagre business in comparison. Hardly a landholder, hardly a farmer, hardly a parish within ten miles of Milby, whose affairs were not under the legal guardianship of Pittman and Dempster; and I think the clients were proud of their lawyers’ unscrupulousness, as the patrons of the fancy’s are proud of their champion’s ‘condition’. It was not, to be sure, the thing for ordinary life, but it was the thing to be bet on in a lawyer. Dempster’s talent in ‘bringing through’ a client was a very common topic of conversation with the farmers, over an incidental glass of grog at the Red Lion. ‘He’s a long-headed feller, Dempster; why, it shows yer what a headpiece Dempster has, as he can drink a bottle o’ brandy at a sittin’, an’ yit see further through a stone wall when he’s done, than other folks ’ll see through a glass winder.’ Even Mr. Jerome, chief member of the congregation at Salem Chapel, an elderly man of very strict life, was one of Dempster’s clients, and had quite an exceptional indulgence for his attorney’s foibles, perhaps attributing them to the inevitable incompatibility of law and gospel.

Old lawyer Pittman had once been a really important person, having managed the affairs of several gentlemen in the area during his earlier days. Eventually, these gentlemen had to sell everything and leave the country, and it was during that crisis that Mr. Pittman conveniently stepped in as a buyer of their estates, taking on the risk and hassle of a slower sale, which turned out to be very beneficial for him. Such opportunities come up unexpectedly in business. However, I think Mr. Pittman must have faced some bad luck with his later ventures, as in his old age, he wasn’t seen as very wealthy; and though he rode slowly to his office in Milby every morning on an old white horse, he had to hand over the main profits and the active work of the firm to his younger partner, Dempster. No one in Milby thought of old Pittman as a virtuous man, and the older townspeople were quite willing to share the less flattering parts of his life story without any sugar-coating. Yet, I could never see that they trusted him any less or liked him any worse. In fact, Pittman and Dempster were the go-to lawyers in Milby and its surroundings, while Mr. Benjamin Landor, who had nothing particular against him, had a very small practice by comparison. Almost every landowner, farmer, and parish within ten miles of Milby had their affairs managed by Pittman and Dempster. I believe the clients were even proud of their lawyers’ lack of scruples, much like fans are proud of their champion’s “condition.” It wasn’t exactly the norm for everyday life, but it was what people wanted to bet on in a lawyer. Dempster’s skill in getting a client out of trouble was a frequent topic of conversation among the farmers, especially over a drink at the Red Lion. “He’s a sharp guy, Dempster; just look at it this way—his brain is so good that he can drink a bottle of brandy in one go and still see through a stone wall better than most can see through a glass window.” Even Mr. Jerome, the senior member of the congregation at Salem Chapel and a very strict man, was one of Dempster’s clients and had quite some tolerance for his attorney’s quirks, maybe believing they were just the natural clash of law and gospel.

The standard of morality at Milby, you perceive, was not inconveniently high in those good old times, and an ingenuous vice or two was what every man expected of his neighbour. Old Mr. Crewe, the curate, for example, was allowed to enjoy his avarice in comfort, without fear of sarcastic parish demagogues; and his flock liked him all the better for having scraped together a large fortune out of his school and curacy, and the proceeds of the three thousand pounds he had with his little deaf wife. It was clear he must be a learned man, for he had once had a large private school in connection with the grammar school, and had even numbered a young nobleman or two among his pupils. The fact that he read nothing at all now, and that his mind seemed absorbed in the commonest matters, was doubtless due to his having exhausted the resources of erudition earlier in life. It is true he was not spoken of in terms of high respect, and old Crewe’s stingy housekeeping was a frequent subject of jesting; but this was a good old-fashioned characteristic in a parson who had been part of Milby life for half a century: it was like the dents and disfigurements in an old family tankard, which no one would like to part with for a smart new piece of plate fresh from Birmingham. The parishioners saw no reason at all why it should be desirable to venerate the parson or any one else; they were much more comfortable to look down a little on their fellow-creatures.

The moral standards in Milby, as you can see, weren't exactly high back in the day, and a flaw or two in one’s character was something everyone expected from their neighbors. For instance, old Mr. Crewe, the curate, was free to indulge in his greed without worrying about any sarcastic locals; in fact, his congregation appreciated him even more for having accumulated a sizable fortune from his school and church duties, as well as from the three thousand pounds he had with his little deaf wife. It was obvious he had to be knowledgeable because he once ran a large private school connected to the grammar school, and he had even taught a young nobleman or two. The fact that he hardly read anything now and seemed only interested in the most trivial matters likely stemmed from having exhausted his intellectual resources earlier in life. Although he wasn't regarded with much respect, old Crewe's miserly ways often became the subject of jokes; but this was just a typical trait of a clergyman who had been part of Milby's fabric for fifty years: much like the dents and imperfections in an old family tankard, which no one would want to trade for a shiny new piece from Birmingham. The parishioners saw no reason to hold their parson or anyone else in high esteem; they were much more comfortable looking down on their fellow humans.

Even the Dissent in Milby was then of a lax and indifferent kind. The doctrine of adult baptism, struggling under a heavy load of debt, had let off half its chapel area as a ribbon-shop; and Methodism was only to be detected, as you detect curious larvae, by diligent search in dirty corners. The Independents were the only Dissenters of whose existence Milby gentility was at all conscious, and it had a vague idea that the salient points of their creed were prayer without book, red brick, and hypocrisy. The Independent chapel, known as Salem, stood red and conspicuous in a broad street; more than one pew-holder kept a brass-bound gig; and Mr. Jerome, a retired corn-factor, and the most eminent member of the congregation, was one of the richest men in the parish. But in spite of this apparent prosperity, together with the usual amount of extemporaneous preaching mitigated by furtive notes, Salem belied its name, and was not always the abode of peace. For some reason or other, it was unfortunate in the choice of its ministers. The Rev. Mr. Horner, elected with brilliant hopes, was discovered to be given to tippling and quarrelling with his wife; the Rev. Mr. Rose’s doctrine was a little too ‘high’, verging on antinomianism; the Rev. Mr. Stickney’s gift as a preacher was found to be less striking on a more extended acquaintance; and the Rev. Mr. Smith, a distinguished minister much sought after in the iron districts, with a talent for poetry, became objectionable from an inclination to exchange verses with the young ladies of his congregation. It was reasonably argued that such verses as Mr. Smith’s must take a long time for their composition, and the habit alluded to might intrench seriously on his pastoral duties. These reverend gentlemen, one and all, gave it as their opinion that the Salem church members were among the least enlightened of the Lord’s people, and that Milby was a low place, where they would have found it a severe lot to have their lines fall for any long period; though to see the smart and crowded congregation assembled on occasion of the annual charity sermon, any one might have supposed that the minister of Salem had rather a brilliant position in the ranks of Dissent. Several Church families used to attend on that occasion, for Milby, in those uninstructed days, had not yet heard that the schismatic ministers of Salem were obviously typified by Korah, Dathan, and Abiram; and many Church people there were of opinion that Dissent might be a weakness, but, after all, had no great harm in it. These lax Episcopalians were, I believe, chiefly tradespeople, who held that, inasmuch as Congregationalism consumed candles, it ought to be supported, and accordingly made a point of presenting themselves at Salem for the afternoon charity sermon, with the expectation of being asked to hold a plate. Mr. Pilgrim, too, was always there with his half-sovereign; for as there was no Dissenting doctor in Milby, Mr. Pilgrim looked with great tolerance on all shades of religious opinion that did not include a belief in cures by miracle.

Even the Dissent in Milby was pretty relaxed and indifferent. The belief in adult baptism, overwhelmed by debt, had rented out half of its chapel space as a ribbon shop; and you could only find signs of Methodism, like searching for curious little bugs, by looking hard in the messiest corners. The Independents were the only Dissenters that the Milby elites were really aware of, and they had a vague idea that their key beliefs were unscripted prayers, red brick buildings, and hypocrisy. The Independent chapel, called Salem, stood out in a wide street; more than one person with a pew there owned a brass-bound carriage; and Mr. Jerome, a retired corn dealer and the most prominent member of the congregation, was one of the wealthiest men in the parish. But despite this apparent success, along with the usual mix of impromptu preaching tempered by sneaky note-taking, Salem didn’t live up to its name and wasn’t always peaceful. For some reason, it had bad luck when it came to picking ministers. The Rev. Mr. Horner, elected with great hopes, turned out to have a drinking problem and fought with his wife; the Rev. Mr. Rose’s teachings were a bit too "high," leaning toward antinomianism; the Rev. Mr. Stickney was found to be less impressive as a preacher over time; and the Rev. Mr. Smith, a well-regarded minister sought after in the iron districts and with a flair for poetry, became controversial for wanting to write verses with the young women in his congregation. It was reasonably argued that Mr. Smith’s poetry must take him a long time to write, and that habit could seriously interfere with his pastoral duties. All these ministers agreed that the Salem church members were among the least knowledgeable of the Lord’s followers and that Milby was a lowly place where it would be tough for them to find peace for any extended time; yet anyone could assume that the Salem minister had a pretty prominent position in Dissent just by seeing the smart, crowded congregation during the annual charity sermon. Several Church families attended that occasion because, at that time, Milby hadn’t yet realized that the dissenting ministers at Salem were obviously like Korah, Dathan, and Abiram; and many Church folks thought that while Dissent might be a weakness, it was ultimately not very harmful. These lenient Episcopalians were, I believe, mainly tradespeople who thought that since Congregationalism used up candles, it should be supported. So, they made it a point to go to Salem for the afternoon charity sermon, expecting to be asked to hold a collection plate. Mr. Pilgrim was always present with his half-sovereign since there was no Dissenting doctor in Milby, and he viewed all kinds of religious opinions that didn’t involve beliefs in miraculous cures with great tolerance.

On this point he had the concurrence of Mr. Pratt, the only other medical man of the same standing in Milby. Otherwise, it was remarkable how strongly these two clever men were contrasted. Pratt was middle-sized, insinuating, and silvery-voiced; Pilgrim was tall, heavy, rough-mannered, and spluttering. Both were considered to have great powers of conversation, but Pratt’s anecdotes were of the fine old crusted quality to be procured only of Joe Miller; Pilgrim’s had the full fruity flavour of the most recent scandal. Pratt elegantly referred all diseases to debility, and, with a proper contempt for symptomatic treatment, went to the root of the matter with port wine and bark; Pilgrim was persuaded that the evil principle in the human system was plethora, and he made war against it with cupping, blistering, and cathartics. They had both been long established in Milby, and as each had a sufficient practice, there was no very malignant rivalry between them; on the contrary, they had that sort of friendly contempt for each other which is always conducive to a good understanding between professional men; and when any new surgeon attempted, in an ill-advised hour, to settle himself in the town, it was strikingly demonstrated how slight and trivial are theoretic differences compared with the broad basis of common human feeling. There was the most perfect unanimity between Pratt and Pilgrim in the determination to drive away the obnoxious and too probably unqualified intruder as soon as possible. Whether the first wonderful cure he effected was on a patient of Pratt’s or of Pilgrim’s, one was as ready as the other to pull the interloper by the nose, and both alike directed their remarkable powers of conversation towards making the town too hot for him. But by their respective patients these two distinguished men were pitted against each other with great virulence. Mrs. Lowme could not conceal her amazement that Mrs. Phipps should trust her life in the hands of Pratt, who let her feed herself up to that degree, it was really shocking to hear how short her breath was; and Mrs. Phipps had no patience with Mrs. Lowme, living, as she did, on tea and broth, and looking as yellow as any crow-flower, and yet letting Pilgrim bleed and blister her and give her lowering medicine till her clothes hung on her like a scarecrow’s. On the whole, perhaps, Mr. Pilgrim’s reputation was at the higher pitch, and when any lady under Mr. Pratt’s care was doing ill, she was half disposed to think that a little more ‘active treatment’ might suit her better. But without very definite provocation no one would take so serious a step as to part with the family doctor, for in those remote days there were few varieties of human hatred more formidable than the medical. The doctor’s estimate, even of a confiding patient, was apt to rise and fall with the entries in the day-book; and I have known Mr. Pilgrim discover the most unexpected virtues in a patient seized with a promising illness. At such times you might have been glad to perceive that there were some of Mr. Pilgrim’s fellow-creatures of whom he entertained a high opinion, and that he was liable to the amiable weakness of a too admiring estimate. A good inflammation fired his enthusiasm, and a lingering dropsy dissolved him into charity. Doubtless this crescendo of benevolence was partly due to feelings not at all represented by the entries in the day-book; for in Mr. Pilgrim’s heart, too, there was a latent store of tenderness and pity which flowed forth at the sight of suffering. Gradually, however, as his patients became convalescent, his view of their characters became more dispassionate; when they could relish mutton-chops, he began to admit that they had foibles, and by the time they had swallowed their last dose of tonic, he was alive to their most inexcusable faults. After this, the thermometer of his regard rested at the moderate point of friendly backbiting, which sufficed to make him agreeable in his morning visits to the amiable and worthy persons who were yet far from convalescent.

On this point, he had the agreement of Mr. Pratt, the only other doctor of similar status in Milby. Otherwise, it was interesting how distinctly different these two smart men were. Pratt was of average height, smooth-talking, and had a silvery voice; Pilgrim was tall, hefty, rough around the edges, and generally blustery. Both were seen as great conversationalists, but Pratt’s stories were classic, the kind you could only hear from Joe Miller; Pilgrim's had the full juicy flavor of the latest gossip. Pratt elegantly connected all illnesses to weakness and, with a proper disregard for treating symptoms, got to the root of problems with port wine and quinine; Pilgrim believed the root issue in the human body was excess, and he fought it with cupping, blistering, and laxatives. They had both been well-established in Milby for a long time, and since each had enough patients, there was no intense rivalry between them; instead, they had that kind of friendly disdain for each other that often leads to mutual understanding among professionals. When any new surgeon mistakenly tried to settle in town, it became clear how minimal and trivial their theoretical differences were compared to the solid ground of common human feelings. There was complete agreement between Pratt and Pilgrim in their intention to get rid of the unwelcome and likely unqualified newcomer as soon as possible. Whether the first miraculous recovery he achieved was one of Pratt’s or Pilgrim’s patients, one was as eager as the other to push the intruder away, and both directed their impressive conversational skills toward making the town unsuitable for him. However, among their respective patients, these two esteemed men were viewed with intense hostility. Mrs. Lowme couldn’t hide her disbelief that Mrs. Phipps would risk her life in Pratt’s care, who let her eat enough that it was truly shocking to hear how short of breath she was; and Mrs. Phipps had no sympathy for Mrs. Lowme, who lived on tea and broth, looking as pale as a crow-flower, while letting Pilgrim bleed and blister her and give her depressing medication until her clothes hung on her like a scarecrow's. Overall, Mr. Pilgrim’s reputation was likely a bit higher, and when any woman under Mr. Pratt’s care was unwell, she would tend to think that a little more 'active treatment' might be better for her. But without very strong reasons, no one would take the serious step of changing family doctors, as in those distant days, few types of human animosity were as fierce as the medical kind. A doctor’s opinion, even of a trusting patient, often depended on the entries in the day-book, and I’ve seen Mr. Pilgrim discover the most surprising virtues in a patient suffering from a promising illness. At those times, you might have been glad to see that there were some of Mr. Pilgrim's fellow humans whom he held in high regard, and he was susceptible to the pleasant flaw of being overly impressed. A good bout of inflammation sparked his enthusiasm, while a lingering dropsy melted him into compassion. Undoubtedly, this growing kindness was partly due to feelings not reflected in the day-book entries; for in Mr. Pilgrim’s heart, there was also a hidden store of tenderness and pity that flowed out at the sight of suffering. Gradually, however, as his patients started to recover, his assessment of their characters became more objective; when they could enjoy mutton chops, he would start to recognize their quirks, and by the time they had taken their last dose of tonic, he was fully aware of their most unacceptable faults. After this, the gauge of his regard settled at a moderate level of friendly gossip, which was enough to keep him pleasant during his morning visits to the amiable and deserving people who were still far from recovering.

Pratt’s patients were profoundly uninteresting to Pilgrim: their very diseases were despicable, and he would hardly have thought their bodies worth dissecting. But of all Pratt’s patients, Mr. Jerome was the one on whom Mr. Pilgrim heaped the most unmitigated contempt. In spite of the surgeon’s wise tolerance, Dissent became odious to him in the person of Mr. Jerome. Perhaps it was because that old gentleman, being rich, and having very large yearly bills for medical attendance on himself and his wife, nevertheless employed Pratt—neglected all the advantages of ‘active treatment’, and paid away his money without getting his system lowered. On any other ground it is hard to explain a feeling of hostility to Mr. Jerome, who was an excellent old gentleman, expressing a great deal of goodwill towards his neighbours, not only in imperfect English, but in loans of money to the ostensibly rich, and in sacks of potatoes to the obviously poor.

Pratt’s patients were extremely uninteresting to Pilgrim: their diseases were pathetic, and he barely considered their bodies worth examining. But out of all of Pratt’s patients, Mr. Jerome received the most complete disdain from Mr. Pilgrim. Despite the surgeon’s patient tolerance, Dissent became unbearable to him when it came to Mr. Jerome. Maybe it was because this wealthy old man, who had large annual medical bills for himself and his wife, still chose to go with Pratt—ignored all the benefits of 'active treatment', and spent his money without actually improving his health. Outside of this, it’s hard to understand why Pilgrim felt hostility towards Mr. Jerome, who was a genuinely good old man, showing a lot of kindness to his neighbors not only in broken English but also through loans to the seemingly wealthy and bags of potatoes to the obviously poor.

Assuredly Milby had that salt of goodness which keeps the world together, in greater abundance than was visible on the surface: innocent babes were born there, sweetening their parents’ hearts with simple joys; men and women withering in disappointed worldliness, or bloated with sensual ease, had better moments in which they pressed the hand of suffering with sympathy, and were moved to deeds of neighbourly kindness. In church and in chapel there were honest-hearted worshippers who strove to keep a conscience void of offence; and even up the dimmest alleys you might have found here and there a Wesleyan to whom Methodism was the vehicle of peace on earth and goodwill to men. To a superficial glance, Milby was nothing but dreary prose: a dingy town, surrounded by flat fields, lopped elms, and sprawling manufacturing villages, which crept on and on with their weaving-shops, till they threatened to graft themselves on the town. But the sweet spring came to Milby notwithstanding: the elm-tops were red with buds; the churchyard was starred with daisies; the lark showered his love-music on the flat fields; the rainbows hung over the dingy town, clothing the very roofs and chimneys in a strange transfiguring beauty. And so it was with the human life there, which at first seemed a dismal mixture of griping worldliness, vanity, ostrich feathers, and the fumes of brandy: looking closer, you found some purity, gentleness, and unselfishness, as you may have observed a scented geranium giving forth its wholesome odours amidst blasphemy and gin in a noisy pot-house. Little deaf Mrs. Crewe would often carry half her own spare dinner to the sick and hungry; Miss Phipps, with her cockade of red feathers, had a filial heart, and lighted her father’s pipe with a pleasant smile; and there were grey-haired men in drab gaiters, not at all noticeable as you passed them in the street, whose integrity had been the basis of their rich neighbour’s wealth.

Surely, Milby had a lot of goodness that holds the world together, more than what was visible at first glance: innocent babies were born there, bringing simple joys to their parents; men and women, worn down by disappointment or cushioned by indulgence, had better moments when they offered a hand to those in need, inspiring acts of kindness. In both church and chapel, there were sincere worshippers striving to maintain a clear conscience; and even in the darkest alleys, you could sometimes find a Wesleyan who saw Methodism as a way to find peace on earth and goodwill to others. To a casual observer, Milby seemed like nothing but dull reality: a grimy town surrounded by flat fields, stunted elms, and sprawling industrial villages creeping ever closer, threatening to blend into the town. But spring arrived in Milby, nonetheless: the tops of the elms were bursting with buds; the churchyard was dotted with daisies; the lark filled the air with its joyful song over the flat fields; rainbows arched over the drab town, draping the roofs and chimneys in a surprising beauty. The human life there mirrored this, initially appearing as a gloomy mix of harsh reality, vanity, flashy style, and the smell of alcohol: yet, upon closer inspection, you would find some purity, kindness, and selflessness, much like a fragrant geranium giving off its fresh scent amidst the blaring noise and chaos of a rowdy bar. Little deaf Mrs. Crewe often shared part of her own meager dinner with the sick and hungry; Miss Phipps, with her red-feathered hat, had a caring heart, happily lighting her father’s pipe; and there were elderly men in plain gaiters, easily overlooked as you walked by, whose integrity had been the foundation of their wealthier neighbors.

Such as the place was, the people there were entirely contented with it. They fancied life must be but a dull affair for that large portion of mankind who were necessarily shut out from an acquaintance with Milby families, and that it must be an advantage to London and Liverpool that Milby gentlemen occasionally visited those places on business. But the inhabitants became more intensely conscious of the value they set upon all their advantages, when innovation made its appearance in the person of the Rev. Mr. Tryan, the new curate, at the chapel-of-ease on Paddiford Common. It was soon notorious in Milby that Mr. Tryan held peculiar opinions; that he preached extempore; that he was founding a religious lending library in his remote corner of the parish; that he expounded the Scriptures in cottages; and that his preaching was attracting the Dissenters, and filling the very aisles of his church. The rumour sprang up that Evangelicalism had invaded Milby parish—a murrain or blight all the more terrible, because its nature was but dimly conjectured. Perhaps Milby was one of the last spots to be reached by the wave of a new movement and it was only now, when the tide was just on the turn, that the limpets there got a sprinkling. Mr. Tryan was the first Evangelical clergyman who had risen above the Milby horizon: hitherto that obnoxious adjective had been unknown to the townspeople of any gentility; and there were even many Dissenters who considered ‘evangelical’ simply a sort of baptismal name to the magazine which circulated among the congregation of Salem Chapel. But now, at length, the disease had been imported, when the parishioners were expecting it as little as the innocent Red Indians expected smallpox. As long as Mr. Tryan’s hearers were confined to Paddiford Common—which, by the by, was hardly recognizable as a common at all, but was a dismal district where you heard the rattle of the handloom, and breathed the smoke of coal-pits—the ‘canting parson’ could be treated as a joke. Not so when a number of single ladies in the town appeared to be infected, and even one or two men of substantial property, with old Mr. Landor, the banker, at their head, seemed to be ‘giving in’ to the new movement—when Mr. Tryan was known to be well received in several good houses, where he was in the habit of finishing the evening with exhortation and prayer. Evangelicalism was no longer a nuisance existing merely in by-corners, which any well-clad person could avoid; it was invading the very drawing-rooms, mingling itself with the comfortable fumes of port-wine and brandy, threatening to deaden with its murky breath all the splendour of the ostrich feathers, and to stifle Milby ingenuousness, not pretending to be better than its neighbours, with a cloud of cant and lugubrious hypocrisy. The alarm reached its climax when it was reported that Mr. Tryan was endeavouring to obtain authority from Mr. Prendergast, the non-resident rector, to establish a Sunday evening lecture in the parish church, on the ground that old Mr. Crewe did not preach the Gospel.

The place may have been what it was, but the people living there were completely satisfied with it. They thought that life must be pretty boring for the many who were left out from knowing the families of Milby, and that it was a good thing for London and Liverpool that Milby gentlemen occasionally traveled there for business. However, the residents became much more aware of how much they valued their advantages when change arrived in the form of Rev. Mr. Tryan, the new curate at the chapel of ease on Paddiford Common. It quickly became well-known in Milby that Mr. Tryan had unconventional views; he preached without notes, set up a religious lending library in his remote part of the parish, taught the Scriptures in homes, and his sermons were drawing in the Dissenters, filling the pews of his church. Rumors began to spread that Evangelicalism had invaded the Milby parish—a plague or curse all the more frightening because no one really understood what it was. Perhaps Milby was one of the last places to feel the impact of this new movement, and it was only now, as the tide began to turn, that the locals were getting a taste of it. Mr. Tryan was the first Evangelical clergyman to rise above the Milby horizon; until now, that undesirable label had been unknown among the town's respectable citizens, and even many Dissenters thought 'evangelical' was just a sort of name for the magazine that circulated among Salem Chapel’s congregation. But now, the affliction had been brought in, arriving just as unexpectedly as smallpox for the innocent Red Indians. As long as Mr. Tryan's audience was limited to Paddiford Common—which, by the way, was barely recognizable as a common at all, being a bleak area filled with the sounds of handlooms and coal smoke—the ‘preachy parson’ could be laughed off. That changed when a number of single women in town seemed to be taken in by his ideas, and even a few well-off men, led by old Mr. Landor, the banker, appeared to be yielding to the new movement—especially since Mr. Tryan was being welcomed in several respectable homes, where he often ended the evening with lessons and prayers. Evangelicalism was no longer just a nuisance lurking in the corners that well-dressed folks could easily avoid; it was now invading the drawing rooms, mixing with the pleasant scents of port and brandy, threatening to suffocate the elegance of ostrich feathers, and stifling Milby’s sincerity, which wasn’t pretending to be better than its neighbors, under a cloud of pretentiousness and gloomy hypocrisy. The alarm hit a peak when it was reported that Mr. Tryan was trying to get permission from Mr. Prendergast, the non-resident rector, to establish a Sunday evening lecture in the parish church, claiming that old Mr. Crewe wasn’t preaching the Gospel.

It now first appeared how surprisingly high a value Milby in general set on the ministrations of Mr. Crewe; how convinced it was that Mr. Crewe was the model of a parish priest, and his sermons the soundest and most edifying that had ever remained unheard by a church-going population. All allusions to his brown wig were suppressed, and by a rhetorical figure his name was associated with venerable grey hairs; the attempted intrusion of Mr. Tryan was an insult to a man deep in years and learning; moreover, it was an insolent effort to thrust himself forward in a parish where he was clearly distasteful to the superior portion of its inhabitants. The town was divided into two zealous parties, the Tryanites and anti-Tryanites; and by the exertions of the eloquent Dempster, the anti-Tryanite virulence was soon developed into an organized opposition. A protest against the meditated evening lecture was framed by that orthodox attorney, and, after being numerously signed, was to be carried to Mr. Prendergast by three delegates representing the intellect, morality, and wealth of Milby. The intellect, you perceive, was to be personified in Mr. Dempster, the morality in Mr. Budd, and the wealth in Mr. Tomlinson; and the distinguished triad was to set out on its great mission, as we have seen, on the third day from that warm Saturday evening when the conversation recorded in the previous chapter took place in the bar of the Red Lion.

It now became clear just how highly Milby valued Mr. Crewe's work; the town was convinced that Mr. Crewe was the ideal parish priest, and his sermons the most insightful and uplifting that had ever gone unheard by a congregation. Any jokes about his brown wig were avoided, and through a rhetorical twist, his name was linked to the idea of distinguished grey hairs; the attempt by Mr. Tryan to interfere was seen as an insult to a man of considerable age and knowledge; moreover, it was a rude attempt to push himself into a parish where he was clearly unwelcome by the more prominent members of the community. The town split into two passionate factions, the Tryanites and the anti-Tryanites; and thanks to the efforts of the persuasive Dempster, the anti-Tryanite hostility quickly turned into an organized resistance. A formal protest against the planned evening lecture was drafted by that traditional attorney, and, after gathering numerous signatures, it was set to be presented to Mr. Prendergast by three representatives embodying Milby's intelligence, morality, and wealth. The intellect was represented by Mr. Dempster, the morality by Mr. Budd, and the wealth by Mr. Tomlinson; and this notable trio was to embark on their important mission, as we have just seen, on the third day after that warm Saturday night when the conversation noted in the previous chapter took place in the bar of the Red Lion.

Chapter 3

It was quite as warm on the following Thursday evening, when Mr. Dempster and his colleagues were to return from their mission to Elmstoke Rectory; but it was much pleasanter in Mrs. Linnet’s parlour than in the bar of the Red Lion. Through the open window came the scent of mignonette and honeysuckle; the grass-plot in front of the house was shaded by a little plantation of Gueldres roses, syringas, and laburnums; the noise of looms and carts and unmelodious voices reached the ear simply as an agreeable murmur, for Mrs. Linnet’s house was situated quite on the outskirts of Paddiford Common; and the only sound likely to disturb the serenity of the feminine party assembled there, was the occasional buzz of intrusive wasps, apparently mistaking each lady’s head for a sugar-basin. No sugar-basin was visible in Mrs. Linnet’s parlour, for the time of tea was not yet, and the round table was littered with books which the ladies were covering with black canvass as a reinforcement of the new Paddiford Lending Library. Miss Linnet, whose manuscript was the neatest type of zigzag, was seated at a small table apart, writing on green paper tickets, which were to be pasted on the covers. Miss Linnet had other accomplishments besides that of a neat manuscript, and an index to some of them might be found in the ornaments of the room. She had always combined a love of serious and poetical reading with her skill in fancy-work, and the neatly-bound copies of Dryden’s ‘Virgil,’ Hannah More’s ‘Sacred Dramas,’ Falconer’s ‘Shipwreck,’ Mason ‘On Self-Knowledge,’ ‘Rasselas,’ and Burke ‘On the Sublime and Beautiful,’ which were the chief ornaments of the bookcase, were all inscribed with her name, and had been bought with her pocket-money when she was in her teens. It must have been at least fifteen years since the latest of those purchases, but Miss Linnet’s skill in fancy-work appeared to have gone through more numerous phases than her literary taste; for the japanned boxes, the alum and sealing-wax baskets, the fan-dolls, the ‘transferred’ landscapes on the fire-screens, and the recent bouquets of wax-flowers, showed a disparity in freshness which made them referable to widely different periods. Wax-flowers presuppose delicate fingers and robust patience, but there are still many points of mind and person which they leave vague and problematic; so I must tell you that Miss Linnet had dark ringlets, a sallow complexion, and an amiable disposition. As to her features, there was not much to criticize in them, for she had little nose, less lip, and no eyebrow; and as to her intellect, her friend Mrs. Pettifer often said: ‘She didn’t know a more sensible person to talk to than Mary Linnet. There was no one she liked better to come and take a quiet cup of tea with her, and read a little of Klopstock’s ‘Messiah.’ Mary Linnet had often told her a great deal of her mind when they were sitting together: she said there were many things to bear in every condition of life, and nothing should induce her to marry without a prospect of happiness. Once, when Mrs. Pettifer admired her wax-flowers, she said, “Ah, Mrs. Pettifer, think of the beauties of nature!” She always spoke very prettily, did Mary Linnet; very different, indeed, from Rebecca.’

It was just as warm on the following Thursday evening when Mr. Dempster and his colleagues were returning from their mission to Elmstoke Rectory, but it was much more enjoyable in Mrs. Linnet’s parlor than in the bar of the Red Lion. Through the open window came the scent of mignonette and honeysuckle; the grass in front of the house was shaded by a small patch of Guelders roses, syringas, and laburnums. The sounds of looms, carts, and loud voices reached the ear as a pleasant hum, since Mrs. Linnet’s house was located on the outskirts of Paddiford Common, and the only noise likely to break the calm of the ladies gathered there was the occasional buzz of pesky wasps, seemingly mistaking each woman’s head for a sugar bowl. No sugar bowl was in sight in Mrs. Linnet’s parlor, as it wasn't tea time yet, and the round table was cluttered with books that the ladies were covering with black canvas for the new Paddiford Lending Library. Miss Linnet, whose handwriting was the neatest kind of zigzag, sat at a small table by herself, writing on green paper tickets meant to be pasted on the covers. Miss Linnet had other talents besides her tidy handwriting, and some of them could be seen in the decorations of the room. She had always blended a love for serious and poetic reading with her skill in crafts, and the neatly-bound copies of Dryden’s ‘Virgil,’ Hannah More’s ‘Sacred Dramas,’ Falconer’s ‘Shipwreck,’ Mason’s ‘On Self-Knowledge,’ ‘Rasselas,’ and Burke’s ‘On the Sublime and Beautiful,’ which were the main attractions of the bookcase, were all inscribed with her name and bought with her pocket money when she was a teenager. It had been at least fifteen years since she made those last purchases, but Miss Linnet’s craft skills seemed to have gone through more stages than her literary tastes; the japanned boxes, alum and sealing-wax baskets, fan-dolls, the ‘transferred’ landscapes on the fire-screens, and recent bouquets of wax flowers showed a difference in freshness that pointed to widely varied times. Wax flowers require delicate fingers and strong patience, yet there are still many aspects of her mind and appearance that remain vague and uncertain; so I should mention that Miss Linnet had dark ringlets, a sallow complexion, and a friendly personality. As for her features, there wasn’t much to criticize; she had a small nose, thin lips, and no eyebrows. Regarding her intellect, her friend Mrs. Pettifer often remarked, “I don’t know a more sensible person to talk to than Mary Linnet. There’s no one I enjoy inviting over for a quiet cup of tea and a bit of Klopstock’s ‘Messiah’ more.” Mary Linnet often shared her thoughts while they were sitting together; she said there were many hardships in every stage of life, and nothing would make her marry without the promise of happiness. Once, when Mrs. Pettifer admired her wax flowers, she said, “Ah, Mrs. Pettifer, think of the beauties of nature!” She always spoke very eloquently, very different, indeed, from Rebecca.

Miss Rebecca Linnet, indeed, was not a general favourite. While most people thought it a pity that a sensible woman like Mary had not found a good husband—and even her female friends said nothing more ill-natured of her, than that her face was like a piece of putty with two Scotch pebbles stuck in it—Rebecca was always spoken of sarcastically, and it was a customary kind of banter with young ladies to recommend her as a wife to any gentleman they happened to be flirting with—her fat, her finery, and her thick ankles sufficing to give piquancy to the joke, notwithstanding the absence of novelty. Miss Rebecca, however, possessed the accomplishment of music, and her singing of ‘Oh no, we never mention her’, and ‘The Soldier’s Tear’, was so desirable an accession to the pleasures of a tea-party that no one cared to offend her, especially as Rebecca had a high spirit of her own, and in spite of her expansively rounded contour, had a particularly sharp tongue. Her reading had been more extensive than her sister’s, embracing most of the fiction in Mr. Procter’s circulating library, and nothing but an acquaintance with the course of her studies could afford a clue to the rapid transitions in her dress, which were suggested by the style of beauty, whether sentimental, sprightly, or severe, possessed by the heroine of the three volumes actually in perusal. A piece of lace, which drooped round the edge of her white bonnet one week, had been rejected by the next; and her cheeks, which, on Whitsunday, loomed through a Turnerian haze of network, were, on Trinity Sunday, seen reposing in distinct red outline on her shelving bust, like the sun on a fog-bank. The black velvet, meeting with a crystal clasp, which one evening encircled her head, had on another descended to her neck, and on a third to her waist, suggesting to an active imagination either a magical contraction of the ornament, or a fearful ratio of expansion in Miss Rebecca’s person. With this constant application of art to dress, she could have had little time for fancy-work, even if she had not been destitute of her sister’s taste for that delightful and truly feminine occupation. And here, at least, you perceive the justice of the Milby opinion as to the relative suitability of the two Miss Linnets for matrimony. When a man is happy enough to win the affections of a sweet girl, who can soothe his cares with crochet, and respond to all his most cherished ideas with beaded urn-rugs and chair-covers in German wool, he has, at least, a guarantee of domestic comfort, whatever trials may await him out of doors. What a resource it is under fatigue and irritation to have your drawing-room well supplied with small mats, which would always be ready if you ever wanted to set anything on them! And what styptic for a bleeding heart can equal copious squares of crochet, which are useful for slipping down the moment you touch them? How our fathers managed without crochet is the wonder; but I believe some small and feeble substitute existed in their time under the name of ‘tatting’. Rebecca Linnet, however, had neglected tatting as well as other forms of fancy-work. At school, to be sure, she had spent a great deal of time in acquiring flower-painting, according to the ingenious method then fashionable, of applying the shapes of leaves and flowers cut out in cardboard, and scrubbing a brush over the surface thus conveniently marked out; but even the spill-cases and hand-screens which were her last half-year’s performances in that way were not considered eminently successful, and had long been consigned to the retirement of the best bedroom. Thus there was a good deal of family unlikeness between Rebecca and her sister, and I am afraid there was also a little family dislike; but Mary’s disapproval had usually been kept imprisoned behind her thin lips, for Rebecca was not only of a headstrong disposition, but was her mother’s pet; the old lady being herself stout, and preferring a more showy style of cap than she could prevail on her daughter Mary to make up for her.

Miss Rebecca Linnet wasn’t particularly popular. While most people thought it was unfortunate that a sensible woman like Mary hadn’t found a good husband—even her female friends didn’t say anything too harsh about her, except that her face looked like a lump of dough with two Scottish pebbles in it—Rebecca was often the subject of sarcastic remarks. It became a customary joke among young ladies to suggest her as a potential wife to any gentleman they were flirting with—her weight, her excessive dressing, and her thick ankles adding a certain spice to the joke, despite its lack of originality. However, Miss Rebecca had a talent for music, and her singing of ‘Oh no, we never mention her’ and ‘The Soldier’s Tear’ was a lovely addition to the fun at a tea party, making everyone hesitant to offend her, especially since Rebecca had a strong personality and, despite her round figure, had a particularly sharp tongue. Her reading had been broader than her sister’s, covering most of the fiction available at Mr. Procter’s circulating library. The rapid changes in her outfits could only be understood by knowing what she was studying; her dress styles shifted to match the beauty, whether sentimental, lively, or stern, of the heroine in the three volumes she was currently reading. One week, she wore a piece of lace draped around the edge of her white bonnet, only to discard it the next; her cheeks, which on Whitsunday appeared through a hazy network, were, by Trinity Sunday, distinctly outlined in red on her bust, like the sun on a fog. The black velvet that one evening adorned her head with a crystal clasp had, on another occasion, shifted down to her neck, and then on another to her waist, leading one’s imagination to wonder either at a magical shrinking of the ornament or a troubling expansion of Miss Rebecca herself. With all this constant care for her outfits, she must have had little time for crafting, especially since she lacked her sister’s knack for that enjoyable and truly feminine hobby. Here, at least, the Milby people’s views on the two Miss Linnets’ suitability for marriage seem justified. When a man is fortunate enough to win the affections of a sweet girl who can soothe his worries with crochet, and respond to all his cherished ideas with beaded mats and chair covers in German wool, he gets a guarantee of home comfort, no matter what challenges are waiting for him outside. Having your living room well-stocked with small mats ready for anything you might want to put on them is such a relief during fatigue and stress! And what could comfort a broken heart better than a pile of crochet squares, handy to grab the moment you touch them? It’s a wonder how our fathers managed without crochet; I believe they had some weak substitute in their day called ‘tatting’. But Rebecca Linnet had ignored tatting as well as other types of crafting. At school, she had spent a lot of time learning flower painting using the clever method that was popular at the time, which involved cutting out shapes of leaves and flowers from cardboard and scrubbing a brush over the marked area. However, even the little cases and hand-screens she created in her last semester weren’t considered particularly successful and had long been put away in the best bedroom. So, there was a noticeable difference between Rebecca and her sister, and I’m afraid there was a bit of family dislike as well; but Mary usually kept her disapproval hidden behind her thin lips since Rebecca was headstrong and her mother’s favorite. The old lady was stout herself and preferred a flashier style of cap than she could get her daughter Mary to make.

But I have been describing Miss Rebecca as she was in former days only, for her appearance this evening, as she sits pasting on the green tickets, is in striking contrast with what it was three or four months ago. Her plain grey gingham dress and plain white collar could never have belonged to her wardrobe before that date; and though she is not reduced in size, and her brown hair will do nothing but hang in crisp ringlets down her large cheeks, there is a change in her air and expression which seems to shed a softened light over her person, and make her look like a peony in the shade, instead of the same flower flaunting in a parterre in the hot sunlight.

But I’ve only been describing Miss Rebecca as she was in the past, because her appearance tonight, as she sits gluing on the green tickets, is very different from how she looked three or four months ago. Her plain gray gingham dress and simple white collar definitely didn’t belong to her before that time; and while she hasn’t lost weight, and her brown hair still hangs in tight ringlets around her full cheeks, there’s a change in her demeanor and expression that seems to cast a softer glow over her, making her look like a peony in the shade instead of the same flower blazing in a garden under the hot sun.

No one could deny that Evangelicalism had wrought a change for the better in Rebecca Linnet’s person—not even Miss Pratt, the thin stiff lady in spectacles, seated opposite to her, who always had a peculiar repulsion for ‘females with a gross habit of body’. Miss Pratt was an old maid; but that is a no more definite description than if I had said she was in the autumn of life. Was it autumn when the orchards are fragrant with apples, or autumn when the oaks are brown, or autumn when the last yellow leaves are fluttering in the chill breeze? The young ladies in Milby would have told you that the Miss Linnets were old maids; but the Miss Linnets were to Miss Pratt what the apple-scented September is to the bare, nipping days of late November. The Miss Linnets were in that temperate zone of old-maidism, when a woman will not say but that if a man of suitable years and character were to offer himself, she might be induced to tread the remainder of life’s vale in company with him; Miss Pratt was in that arctic region where a woman is confident that at no time of life would she have consented to give up her liberty, and that she has never seen the man whom she would engage to honour and obey. If the Miss Linnets were old maids, they were old maids with natural ringlets and embonpoint, not to say obesity; Miss Pratt was an old maid with a cap, a braided ‘front’, a backbone and appendages. Miss Pratt was the one blue-stocking of Milby, possessing, she said, no less than five hundred volumes, competent, as her brother the doctor often observed, to conduct a conversation on any topic whatever, and occasionally dabbling a little in authorship, though it was understood that she had never put forth the full powers of her mind in print. Her ‘Letters to a Young Man on his Entrance into Life’, and ‘De Courcy, or the Rash Promise, a Tale for Youth’, were mere trifles which she had been induced to publish because they were calculated for popular utility, but they were nothing to what she had for years had by her in manuscript. Her latest production had been Six Stanzas, addressed to the Rev. Edgar Tryan, printed on glazed paper with a neat border, and beginning, ‘Forward, young wrestler for the truth!’

No one could deny that Evangelicalism had brought a positive change in Rebecca Linnet—not even Miss Pratt, the thin, stiff lady in glasses sitting across from her, who always had a peculiar dislike for “women with a hefty build.” Miss Pratt was an old maid, but that’s just as vague as saying she was in the autumn of her life. Was it autumn when the orchards smell of apples, or autumn when the oaks are brown, or autumn when the last yellow leaves flutter in the chilly breeze? The young ladies in Milby would tell you that the Miss Linnets were old maids; but to Miss Pratt, the Miss Linnets were like the apple-scented September compared to the bare, biting days of late November. The Miss Linnets were in that moderate phase of old-maidism, where a woman might agree that if a man of the right age and character were to offer himself, she might consider sharing the rest of life’s journey with him; Miss Pratt, on the other hand, was in that icy zone where a woman is sure she would never give up her freedom at any point in life and has never met a man she would agree to honor and obey. If the Miss Linnets were old maids, they were old maids with natural curls and a bit of extra weight, not to mention obesity; Miss Pratt was an old maid with a cap, a braided “front,” and a strong backbone. Miss Pratt was the one intellectual of Milby, claiming to have no less than five hundred books, capable, as her brother the doctor often remarked, of discussing any topic, and occasionally trying her hand at writing, although it was widely acknowledged that she had never fully showcased her intellect in print. Her “Letters to a Young Man on his Entrance into Life” and “De Courcy, or the Rash Promise, a Tale for Youth” were just minor works she had been persuaded to publish because they were meant for the public good, but they were nothing compared to what she had had in manuscript for years. Her latest work had been Six Stanzas, addressed to the Rev. Edgar Tryan, printed on glossy paper with a neat border, starting with, “Forward, young wrestler for the truth!”

Miss Pratt having kept her brother’s house during his long widowhood, his daughter, Miss Eliza, had had the advantage of being educated by her aunt, and thus of imbibing a very strong antipathy to all that remarkable woman’s tastes and opinions. The silent handsome girl of two-and-twenty, who is covering the ‘Memoirs of Felix Neff,’ is Miss Eliza Pratt; and the small elderly lady in dowdy clothing, who is also working diligently, is Mrs. Pettifer, a superior-minded widow, much valued in Milby, being such a very respectable person to have in the house in case of illness, and of quite too good a family to receive any money-payment—you could always send her garden-stuff that would make her ample amends. Miss Pratt has enough to do in commenting on the heap of volumes before her, feeling it a responsibility entailed on her by her great powers of mind to leave nothing without the advantage of her opinion. Whatever was good must be sprinkled with the chrism of her approval; whatever was evil must be blighted by her condemnation.

Miss Pratt had taken care of her brother’s house during his long time as a widower, allowing his daughter, Miss Eliza, to be educated by her aunt. As a result, Eliza developed a strong dislike for all of her aunt’s tastes and opinions. The quiet, attractive twenty-two-year-old who is working on the ‘Memoirs of Felix Neff’ is Miss Eliza Pratt; and the small older woman in shabby clothing, who is also busy at work, is Mrs. Pettifer, a well-respected widow in Milby. She is considered a valuable person to have around in case of illness and comes from a family too good to accept any payment—growing her garden meant you could always send her fresh produce as a substitute. Miss Pratt is busy commenting on the pile of books in front of her, feeling obliged by her immense intellect to share her thoughts on everything. Anything good must receive her approval, while anything bad must be marked by her disapproval.

‘Upon my word,’ she said, in a deliberate high voice, as if she were dictating to an amanuensis, ‘it is a most admirable selection of works for popular reading, this that our excellent Mr. Tryan has made. I do not know whether, if the task had been confided to me, I could have made a selection, combining in a higher degree religious instruction and edification with a due admixture of the purer species of amusement. This story of ‘Father Clement’ is a library in itself on the errors of Romanism. I have ever considered fiction a suitable form for conveying moral and religious instruction, as I have shown in my little work ‘De Courcy,’ which, as a very clever writer in the Crompton ‘Argus’ said at the time of its appearance, is the light vehicle of a weighty moral.’

“Honestly,” she said in a deliberately high voice, as if she were dictating to a secretary, “this is a fantastic selection of works for popular reading that our wonderful Mr. Tryan has put together. I’m not sure if I could have created a selection that combines religious instruction and enlightenment with just the right amount of pure entertainment. This story of ‘Father Clement’ is like its own library on the mistakes of Romanism. I have always believed that fiction is a great way to convey moral and religious lessons, as I demonstrated in my little book ‘De Courcy,’ which, as a very talented writer in the Crompton ‘Argus’ pointed out when it came out, is a light read with a serious moral.”

‘One ’ud think,’ said Mrs. Linnet, who also had her spectacles on, but chiefly for the purpose of seeing what the others were doing, ‘there didn’t want much to drive people away from a religion as makes ’em walk barefoot over stone floors, like that girl in Father Clement—sending the blood up to the head frightful. Anybody might see that was an unnat’ral creed.’

‘You’d think,’ said Mrs. Linnet, who also had her glasses on, mainly to see what the others were doing, ‘it doesn’t take much to drive people away from a religion that makes them walk barefoot over stone floors, like that girl in Father Clement—sending blood rushing to the head is terrible. Anyone could see that’s an unnatural belief.’

‘Yes,’ said Miss Pratt, ‘but asceticism is not the root of the error, as Mr. Tryan was telling us the other evening—it is the denial of the great doctrine of justification by faith. Much as I had reflected on all subjects in the course of my life, I am indebted to Mr. Tryan for opening my eyes to the full importance of that cardinal doctrine of the Reformation. From a child I had a deep sense of religion, but in my early days the Gospel light was obscured in the English Church, notwithstanding the possession of our incomparable Liturgy, than which I know no human composition more faultless and sublime. As I tell Eliza I was not blest as she is at the age of two-and-twenty, in knowing a clergyman who unites all that is great and admirable in intellect with the highest spiritual gifts. I am no contemptible judge of a man’s acquirements, and I assure you I have tested Mr. Tryan’s by questions which are a pretty severe touchstone. It is true, I sometimes carry him a little beyond the depth of the other listeners. Profound learning,’ continued Miss Pratt, shutting her spectacles, and tapping them on the book before her, ‘has not many to estimate it in Milby.’

‘Yes,’ said Miss Pratt, ‘but asceticism isn’t the root of the problem, as Mr. Tryan was telling us the other evening—it’s the denial of the important doctrine of justification by faith. No matter how much I’ve thought about various topics throughout my life, I owe it to Mr. Tryan for helping me see the true significance of that key doctrine of the Reformation. Since childhood, I’ve had a strong sense of faith, but in my early years, the Gospel message was clouded in the English Church, despite having our unmatched Liturgy, which I believe is the most perfect and uplifting human work out there. As I explain to Eliza, I wasn’t as fortunate as she is at twenty-two to know a clergyman who combines exceptional intellect with the highest spiritual gifts. I’m no unimpressive judge of a person’s knowledge, and I assure you I’ve tested Mr. Tryan’s with questions that are quite a tough measure. It’s true that sometimes I take him a little deeper than the other listeners can follow. Profound learning,’ continued Miss Pratt, shutting her glasses and tapping them on the book in front of her, ‘isn't commonly recognized in Milby.’

‘Miss Pratt,’ said Rebecca, ‘will you please give me Scott’s “Force of Truth?” There—that small book lying against the “Life of Legh Richmond.”’

‘Miss Pratt,’ said Rebecca, ‘could you please hand me Scott’s “Force of Truth?” There—it’s that small book next to the “Life of Legh Richmond.”’

‘That’s a book I’m very fond of—the “Life of Legh Richmond,”’ said Mrs. Linnet. ‘He found out all about that woman at Tutbury as pretended to live without eating. Stuff and nonsense!’

‘That’s a book I really like—the “Life of Legh Richmond,”’ said Mrs. Linnet. ‘He discovered everything about that woman in Tutbury who claimed she could live without eating. What nonsense!’

Mrs. Linnet had become a reader of religious books since Mr. Tryan’s advent, and as she was in the habit of confining her perusal to the purely secular portions, which bore a very small proportion to the whole, she could make rapid progress through a large number of volumes. On taking up the biography of a celebrated preacher, she immediately turned to the end to see what disease he died of; and if his legs swelled, as her own occasionally did, she felt a stronger interest in ascertaining any earlier facts in the history of the dropsical divine—whether he had ever fallen off a stage coach, whether he had married more than one wife, and, in general, any adventures or repartees recorded of him previous to the epoch of his conversion. She then glanced over the letters and diary, and wherever there was a predominance of Zion, the River of Life, and notes of exclamation, she turned over to the next page; but any passage in which she saw such promising nouns as ‘small-pox’, ‘pony’, or ‘boots and shoes’, at once arrested her.

Mrs. Linnet had started reading religious books since Mr. Tryan arrived, and since she usually stuck to the non-religious parts, which made up a small portion of the whole, she could quickly get through a lot of volumes. When she picked up the biography of a famous preacher, she immediately flipped to the end to see what disease he died from; and if his legs swelled up like hers sometimes did, she felt a greater interest in finding out any earlier details about the life of this preacher—whether he had ever fallen off a stagecoach, whether he'd married more than one wife, and generally any interesting stories or remarks about him before his conversion. She then skimmed through the letters and diary, and whenever there were mentions of Zion, the River of Life, and exclamation marks, she quickly turned the page; but any part where she saw intriguing words like ‘smallpox,’ ‘pony,’ or ‘boots and shoes’ instantly caught her attention.

‘It is half-past six now,’ said Miss Linnet, looking at her watch as the servant appeared with the tea-tray. ‘I suppose the delegates are come back by this time. If Mr. Tryan had not so kindly promised to call and let us know, I should hardly rest without walking to Milby myself to know what answer they have brought back. It is a great privilege for us, Mr. Tryan living at Mrs. Wagstaff’s, for he is often able to take us on his way backwards and forwards into the town.’

‘It’s six-thirty now,’ said Miss Linnet, checking her watch as the servant walked in with the tea tray. ‘I suppose the delegates are back by now. If Mr. Tryan hadn’t kindly promised to call and let us know, I’d be restless and would probably walk to Milby myself to find out what answer they brought back. It’s a great advantage for us that Mr. Tryan lives at Mrs. Wagstaff’s since he can often take us along with him when he goes into town and back.’

‘I wonder if there’s another man in the world who has been brought up as Mr. Tryan has, that would choose to live in those small close rooms on the common, among heaps of dirty cottages, for the sake of being near the poor people,’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘I’m afraid he hurts his health by it; he looks to me far from strong.’

‘I wonder if there’s anyone else in the world raised like Mr. Tryan who would choose to live in those cramped little rooms on the common, surrounded by piles of rundown cottages, just to be close to the poor people,’ Mrs. Pettifer said. ‘I’m worried it’s bad for his health; he doesn’t seem very strong to me.’

‘Ah,’ said Miss Pratt, ‘I understand he is of a highly respectable family indeed, in Huntingdonshire. I heard him myself speak of his father’s carriage—quite incidentally, you know—and Eliza tells me what very fine cambric handkerchiefs he uses. My eyes are not good enough to see such things, but I know what breeding is as well as most people, and it is easy to see that Mr. Tryan is quite comme il faw, to use a French expression.’

‘Ah,’ said Miss Pratt, ‘I hear he comes from a very respectable family in Huntingdonshire. I actually heard him mention his father's carriage—just casually, you know—and Eliza tells me he uses really nice cambric handkerchiefs. My eyesight isn’t good enough to notice those details, but I understand what good breeding is just like most people, and it’s clear that Mr. Tryan is quite comme il faut, to use a French phrase.’

‘I should like to tell him better nor use fine cambric i’ this place, where there’s such washing, it’s a shame to be seen,’ said Mrs. Linnet; ‘he’ll get ’em tore to pieces. Good lawn ’ud be far better. I saw what a colour his linen looked at the sacrament last Sunday. Mary’s making him a black silk case to hold his bands, but I told her she’d more need wash ’em for him.’

‘I’d rather not have him wear such fine cambric here, where there’s so much washing going on; it’s embarrassing to be seen,’ said Mrs. Linnet. ‘He'll just tear them to shreds. Good lawn would be way better. I noticed how his linen looked at the sacrament last Sunday. Mary’s making him a black silk case to hold his bands, but I told her she’d be better off washing them for him.’

‘O mother!’ said Rebecca, with solemn severity, ‘pray don’t think of pocket-handkerchiefs and linen, when we are talking of such a man. And at this moment, too, when he is perhaps having to bear a heavy blow. We have more need to help him by prayer, as Aaron and Hur held up the hands of Moses. We don’t know but wickedness may have triumphed, and Mr. Prendergast may have consented to forbid the lecture. There have been dispensations quite as mysterious, and Satan is evidently putting forth all his strength to resist the entrance of the Gospel into Milby Church.’

‘Oh mother!’ said Rebecca, with a serious tone, ‘please don’t focus on pocket-handkerchiefs and linens when we’re talking about such a man. Especially now, when he might be facing a tough challenge. We should be supporting him with our prayers, just like Aaron and Hur supported Moses. We can’t know for sure, but evil may have won this time, and Mr. Prendergast might have agreed to cancel the lecture. There have been just as mysterious situations before, and it’s clear that Satan is doing everything he can to stop the Gospel from coming into Milby Church.’

‘You niver spoke a truer word than that, my dear,’ said Mrs. Linnet, who accepted all religious phrases, but was extremely rationalistic in her interpretation; ‘for if iver Old Harry appeared in a human form, it’s that Dempster. It was all through him as we got cheated out o’ Pye’s Croft, making out as the title wasn’t good. Such lawyer’s villany! As if paying good money wasn’t title enough to anything. If your father as is dead and gone had been worthy to know it! But he’ll have a fall some day, Dempster will. Mark my words.’

‘You never spoke a truer word than that, my dear,’ said Mrs. Linnet, who accepted all religious phrases but had a very rational interpretation; ‘if Old Harry ever took human form, it’s that Dempster. It was all because of him that we got cheated out of Pye’s Croft, claiming the title wasn’t good. Such lawyer's deceit! As if paying good money didn’t give us title to anything. If your father, who has passed away, had known that! But Dempster will fall someday. Mark my words.’

‘Ah, out of his carriage, you mean,’ said Miss Pratt, who, in the movement occasioned by the clearing of the table, had lost the first part of Mrs. Linnet’s speech. ‘It certainly is alarming to see him driving home from Rotherby, flogging his galloping horse like a madman. My brother has often said he expected every Thursday evening to be called in to set some of Dempster’s bones; but I suppose he may drop that expectation now, for we are given to understand from good authority that he has forbidden his wife to call my brother in again either to herself or her mother. He swears no Tryanite doctor shall attend his family. I have reason to believe that Pilgrim was called in to Mrs. Dempster’s mother the other day.’

‘Oh, you mean he got out of his carriage,’ said Miss Pratt, who had missed the beginning of Mrs. Linnet’s speech because of the table being cleared. ‘It really is shocking to see him driving home from Rotherby, whipping his galloping horse like a lunatic. My brother has often said he expects to get a call every Thursday evening to reset some of Dempster’s bones, but I guess he can forget that now, since we’ve heard from reliable sources that he has told his wife not to call my brother in again, either for herself or her mother. He insists that no Tryanite doctor will treat his family. I have reason to believe that Pilgrim was called in for Mrs. Dempster’s mother the other day.’

‘Poor Mrs. Raynor! she’s glad to do anything for the sake of peace and quietness,’ said Mrs. Pettifer; ‘but it’s no trifle at her time of life to part with a doctor who knows her constitution.’

‘Poor Mrs. Raynor! She’s happy to do anything for the sake of peace and quiet,’ said Mrs. Pettifer; ‘but it’s no small matter at her age to let go of a doctor who understands her health.’

‘What trouble that poor woman has to bear in her old age!’ said Mary Linnet, ‘to see her daughter leading such a life!—an only daughter, too, that she doats on.’

‘What a burden that poor woman has to endure in her old age!’ said Mary Linnet, ‘to watch her daughter live such a life!—her only daughter, no less, whom she adores.’

‘Yes, indeed,’ said Miss Pratt. ‘We, of course, know more about it than most people, my brother having attended the family so many years. For my part, I never thought well of the marriage; and I endeavoured to dissuade my brother when Mrs. Raynor asked him to give Janet away at the wedding. ‘If you will take my advice, Richard,’ I said, ‘you will have nothing to do with that marriage.’ And he has seen the justice of my opinion since. Mrs. Raynor herself was against the connection at first; but she always spoiled Janet, and I fear, too, she was won over by a foolish pride in having her daughter marry a professional man. I fear it was so. No one but myself, I think, foresaw the extent of the evil.’

‘Yes, definitely,’ said Miss Pratt. ‘We, of course, know more about it than most people, since my brother has been involved with the family for so many years. Personally, I never thought much of the marriage; and I tried to talk my brother out of it when Mrs. Raynor asked him to give Janet away at the wedding. ‘If you take my advice, Richard,’ I said, ‘you should stay away from that marriage.’ And he has come to see that I was right since then. Mrs. Raynor herself was initially against the relationship; but she always spoiled Janet, and I’m afraid she was also swayed by a foolish pride in having her daughter marry a professional man. I really think that’s true. I don’t believe anyone else, except me, saw how bad it would get.’

‘Well,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘Janet had nothing to look forward to but being a governess; and it was hard for Mrs. Raynor to have to work at millinering—a woman well brought up, and her husband a man who held his head as high as any man in Thurston. And it isn’t everybody that sees everything fifteen years beforehand. Robert Dempster was the cleverest man in Milby; and there weren’t many young men fit to talk to Janet.’

‘Well,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘Janet had nothing to look forward to except becoming a governess; and it was tough for Mrs. Raynor to work in millinery—a woman raised well, with a husband who carried himself as proudly as any man in Thurston. Not everyone can see things coming fifteen years in advance. Robert Dempster was the smartest man in Milby; and there weren’t many young men who were even suitable to talk to Janet.’

‘It is a thousand pities,’ said Miss Pratt, choosing to ignore Mrs. Pettifer’s slight sarcasm, ‘for I certainly did consider Janet Raynor the most promising young woman of my acquaintance;—a little too much lifted up, perhaps, by her superior education, and too much given to satire, but able to express herself very well indeed about any book I recommended to her perusal. There is no young woman in Milby now who can be compared with what Janet was when she was married, either in mind or person. I consider Miss Landor far, far below her. Indeed, I cannot say much for the mental superiority of the young ladies in our first families. They are superficial—very superficial.’

‘It’s such a shame,’ said Miss Pratt, choosing to overlook Mrs. Pettifer’s subtle sarcasm, ‘because I definitely considered Janet Raynor the most promising young woman I knew; a bit too full of herself, maybe, because of her better education, and too inclined to be sarcastic, but she could express herself very well about any book I suggested she read. There’s no young woman in Milby now who can compare to what Janet was when she got married, either in intellect or looks. I find Miss Landor to be much, much less impressive than her. Honestly, I can’t say much for the intelligence of the young ladies in our top families. They’re quite shallow—very shallow.’

‘She made the handsomest bride that ever came out of Milby church, too,’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘Such a very fine figure! And it showed off her white poplin so well. And what a pretty smile Janet always had! Poor thing, she keeps that now for all her old friends. I never see her but she has something pretty to say to me—living in the same street, you know, I can’t help seeing her often, though I’ve never been to the house since Dempster broke out on me in one of his drunken fits. She comes to me sometimes, poor thing, looking so strange, anybody passing her in the street may see plain enough what’s the matter; but she’s always got some little good-natured plan in her head for all that. Only last night I met her, I saw five yards off she wasn’t fit to be out; but she had a basin in her hand, full of something she was carrying to Sally Martin, the deformed girl that’s in a consumption.’

‘She was the most beautiful bride that ever walked out of Milby church, too,’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘Such a lovely figure! It showed off her white poplin so well. And what a pretty smile Janet always had! Poor thing, she still keeps that for all her old friends. I never see her without her saying something nice to me—since we live on the same street, I can’t help but see her often, though I haven't been to her house since Dempster had that drunken outburst with me. She comes to me sometimes, poor thing, looking so odd; anyone passing her on the street can clearly see what’s wrong. But she always has some little good-hearted plan in her mind despite it. Just last night, I ran into her, and I could tell from a distance that she shouldn’t be out; but she had a bowl in her hand, full of something she was taking to Sally Martin, the deformed girl who's suffering from consumption.’

‘But she is just as bitter against Mr. Tryan as her husband is, I understand,’ said Rebecca. ‘Her heart is very much set against the truth, for I understand she bought Mr. Tryan’s sermons on purpose to ridicule them to Mrs. Crewe.’

‘But she's just as bitter toward Mr. Tryan as her husband is, I understand,’ said Rebecca. ‘Her heart is really set against the truth, because I hear she bought Mr. Tryan’s sermons just to mock them to Mrs. Crewe.’

‘Well, poor thing,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘you know she stands up for everything her husband says and does. She never will admit to anybody that he is not a good husband.’

‘Well, poor thing,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘you know she defends everything her husband says and does. She’ll never admit to anyone that he’s not a good husband.’

‘That is her pride,’ said Miss Pratt. ‘She married him in opposition to the advice of her best friends, and now she is not willing to admit that she was wrong. Why, even to my brother—and a medical attendant, you know, can hardly fail to be acquainted with family secrets—she has always pretended to have the highest respect for her husband’s qualities. Poor Mrs. Raynor, however, is very well aware that every one knows the real state of things. Latterly, she has not even avoided the subject with me. The very last time I called on her she said, “Have you been to see my poor daughter?” and burst into tears.’

‘That’s her pride,’ said Miss Pratt. ‘She married him against the advice of her closest friends, and now she refuses to admit she was wrong. Even to my brother—and you know that a doctor usually finds out family secrets—she has always claimed to hold her husband in the highest regard. Poor Mrs. Raynor is well aware that everyone knows the truth. Recently, she hasn’t even shied away from the topic with me. The very last time I visited her, she asked, “Have you seen my poor daughter?” and broke down in tears.’

‘Pride or no pride,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘I shall always stand up for Janet Dempster. She sat up with me night after night when I had that attack of rheumatic fever six years ago. There’s great excuses for her. When a woman can’t think of her husband coming home without trembling, it’s enough to make her drink something to blunt her feelings—and no children either, to keep her from it. You and me might do the same, if we were in her place.’

‘Pride or not,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘I will always stand up for Janet Dempster. She stayed up with me night after night when I had that rheumatic fever attack six years ago. She has a lot of reasons for her behavior. When a woman can’t think of her husband coming home without shaking, it’s understandable that she might want to drink something to numb her feelings—and without any kids to distract her from it. You and I might do the same if we were in her situation.’

‘Speak for yourself, Mrs. Pettifer,’ said Miss Pratt. ‘Under no circumstances can I imagine myself resorting to a practice so degrading. A woman should find support in her own strength of mind.’

“Speak for yourself, Mrs. Pettifer,” Miss Pratt said. “I can’t imagine ever turning to a practice so humiliating. A woman should rely on her own mental strength.”

‘I think,’ said Rebecca, who considered Miss Pratt still very blind in spiritual things, notwithstanding her assumption of enlightenment, ‘she will find poor support if she trusts only to her own strength. She must seek aid elsewhere than in herself.’

‘I think,’ said Rebecca, who believed Miss Pratt was still quite oblivious to spiritual matters, despite her pretense of being enlightened, ‘she will struggle if she relies only on her own strength. She needs to seek help outside of herself.’

Happily the removal of the tea-things just then created a little confusion, which aided Miss Pratt to repress her resentment at Rebecca’s presumption in correcting her—a person like Rebecca Linnet! who six months ago was as flighty and vain a woman as Miss Pratt had ever known—so very unconscious of her unfortunate person!

Happily, the clearing of the tea things created a bit of chaos, which helped Miss Pratt keep her anger in check at Rebecca’s boldness in correcting her—a person like Rebecca Linnet! Just six months ago, she was one of the most flighty and vain women Miss Pratt had ever seen—so completely unaware of her unfortunate situation!

The ladies had scarcely been seated at their work another hour, when the sun was sinking, and the clouds that flecked the sky to the very zenith were every moment taking on a brighter gold. The gate of the little garden opened, and Miss Linnet, seated at her small table near the window, saw Mr. Tryan enter.

The ladies had barely been at their work for an hour when the sun started to set, and the clouds scattered across the sky were becoming a brighter gold with each passing moment. The gate of the little garden opened, and Miss Linnet, sitting at her small table near the window, saw Mr. Tryan walk in.

‘There is Mr. Tryan,’ she said, and her pale cheek was lighted up with a little blush that would have made her look more attractive to almost any one except Miss Eliza Pratt, whose fine grey eyes allowed few things to escape her silent observation. ‘Mary Linnet gets more and more in love with Mr. Tryan,’ thought Miss Eliza; ‘it is really pitiable to see such feelings in a woman of her age, with those old-maidish little ringlets. I daresay she flatters herself Mr. Tryan may fall in love with her, because he makes her useful among the poor.’ At the same time, Miss Eliza, as she bent her handsome head and large cannon curls with apparent calmness over her work, felt a considerable internal flutter when she heard the knock at the door. Rebecca had less self-command. She felt too much agitated to go on with her pasting, and clutched the leg of the table to counteract the trembling in her hands.

‘There’s Mr. Tryan,’ she said, and her pale cheek lit up with a slight blush that would have made her look more appealing to almost anyone except Miss Eliza Pratt, whose sharp grey eyes missed very little during her quiet observations. ‘Mary Linnet is falling more and more in love with Mr. Tryan,’ thought Miss Eliza; ‘it’s really sad to see such feelings in a woman her age, especially with those old-maidish little ringlets. I bet she flatters herself that Mr. Tryan might fall for her because he appreciates her help with the poor.’ At the same time, Miss Eliza, as she bent her beautiful head with large curls, seemingly calm over her work, experienced a noticeable internal flutter when she heard the knock at the door. Rebecca had less self-control. She felt too agitated to continue with her pasting and gripped the leg of the table to steady the trembling in her hands.

Poor women’s hearts! Heaven forbid that I should laugh at you, and make cheap jests on your susceptibility towards the clerical sex, as if it had nothing deeper or more lovely in it than the mere vulgar angling for a husband. Even in these enlightened days, many a curate who, considered abstractedly, is nothing more than a sleek bimanous animal in a white neckcloth, with views more or less Anglican, and furtively addicted to the flute, is adored by a girl who has coarse brothers, or by a solitary woman who would like to be a helpmate in good works beyond her own means, simply because he seems to them the model of refinement and of public usefulness. What wonder, then, that in Milby society, such as I have told you it was a very long while ago, a zealous evangelical clergyman, aged thirty-three, called forth all the little agitations that belong to the divine necessity of loving, implanted in the Miss Linnets, with their seven or eight lustrums and their unfashionable ringlets, no less than in Miss Eliza Pratt, with her youthful bloom and her ample cannon curls.

Poor women’s hearts! Heaven forbid that I should laugh at you or make cheap jokes about your tendency to fall for clergymen, as if it were just a simple quest for a husband. Even in these enlightened times, many a curate, when you break it down, is just a well-groomed guy in a white collar, with Anglican views and a sneaky love for the flute, is idolized by a girl with rough brothers or by a lonely woman wanting to be a partner in good deeds beyond her means, simply because he appears to them as the epitome of refinement and public service. So, it’s no surprise that in Milby society, as I told you about long ago, an enthusiastic evangelical clergyman, 33 years old, stirred up all the little feelings connected to the divine need for love within the Miss Linnets, with their seven or eight years and their outdated ringlets, just as much as in Miss Eliza Pratt, with her youthful glow and her big cannon curls.

But Mr. Tryan has entered the room, and the strange light from the golden sky falling on his light-brown hair, which is brushed high up round his head, makes it look almost like an aureole. His grey eyes, too, shine with unwonted brilliancy this evening. They were not remarkable eyes, but they accorded completely in their changing light with the changing expression of his person, which indicated the paradoxical character often observable in a large-limbed sanguine blond; at once mild and irritable, gentle and overbearing, indolent and resolute, self-conscious and dreamy. Except that the well-filled lips had something of the artificially compressed look which is often the sign of a struggle to keep the dragon undermost, and that the complexion was rather pallid, giving the idea of imperfect health, Mr. Tryan’s face in repose was that of an ordinary whiskerless blond, and it seemed difficult to refer a certain air of distinction about him to anything in particular, unless it were his delicate hands and well-shapen feet.

But Mr. Tryan has entered the room, and the strange light from the golden sky falling on his light-brown hair, which is styled high around his head, makes it look almost like a halo. His grey eyes also shine with unusual brightness this evening. They weren't particularly notable eyes, but they completely matched their changing light with the varying expressions on his face, reflecting the paradoxical nature often seen in a tall, fair-haired person; at once gentle and irritable, kind and domineering, lazy and determined, self-aware and dreamy. Except for the fact that his full lips had a slightly strained look that often indicates a struggle to keep inner turmoil at bay, and that his complexion was a bit pale, suggesting poor health, Mr. Tryan’s face at rest was that of an average clean-shaven blond, and it seemed hard to pinpoint the source of a certain air of distinction about him, unless it was his fine hands and well-shaped feet.

It was a great anomaly to the Milby mind that a canting evangelical parson, who would take tea with tradespeople, and make friends of vulgar women like the Linnets, should have so much the air of a gentleman, and be so little like the splay-footed Mr. Stickney of Salem, to whom he approximated so closely in doctrine. And this want of correspondence between the physique and the creed had excited no less surprise in the larger town of Laxeter, where Mr. Tryan had formerly held a curacy; for of the two other Low Church clergymen in the neighbourhood, one was a Welshman of globose figure and unctuous complexion, and the other a man of atrabiliar aspect, with lank black hair, and a redundance of limp cravat—in fact, the sort of thing you might expect in men who distributed the publications of the Religious Tract Society, and introduced Dissenting hymns into the Church.

It was a strange contradiction to the people of Milby that a preachy evangelical pastor, who would have tea with local tradespeople and become friends with everyday women like the Linnets, could carry himself with the manner of a gentleman and be so unlike the awkward Mr. Stickney from Salem, despite their similar beliefs. This mismatch between his appearance and his beliefs also surprised the larger town of Laxeter, where Mr. Tryan had previously worked; of the two other Low Church clergy in the area, one was a Welshman with a round figure and oily complexion, while the other had a gloomy appearance, with long black hair and an excessive, floppy cravat—in essence, the kind of men you would expect to see handing out pamphlets from the Religious Tract Society and introducing nonconformist hymns into church services.

Mr. Tryan shook hands with Mrs. Linnet, bowed with rather a preoccupied air to the other ladies, and seated himself in the large horse-hair easy-chair which had been drawn forward for him, while the ladies ceased from their work, and fixed their eyes on him, awaiting the news he had to tell them.

Mr. Tryan shook hands with Mrs. Linnet, gave a distracted nod to the other ladies, and settled himself into the large horsehair armchair that had been pulled forward for him, while the ladies paused their work and focused their attention on him, anticipating the news he had to share.

‘It seems,’ he began, in a low and silvery tone, ‘I need a lesson of patience; there has been something wrong in my thought or action about this evening lecture. I have been too much bent on doing good to Milby after my own plan—too reliant on my own wisdom.’

‘It seems,’ he began, in a soft and smooth tone, ‘I need a lesson in patience; there’s been something off in how I’ve thought or acted regarding tonight's lecture. I’ve been too focused on helping Milby in my own way—too trusting in my own judgment.’

Mr. Tryan paused. He was struggling against inward irritation.

Mr. Tryan paused. He was fighting against growing irritation.

‘The delegates are come back, then?’ ‘Has Mr. Prendergast given way?’ ‘Has Dempster succeeded?’—were the eager questions of three ladies at once.

‘The delegates are back, then?’ ‘Has Mr. Prendergast stepped down?’ ‘Did Dempster succeed?’—were the eager questions of three ladies at once.

‘Yes; the town is in an uproar. As we were sitting in Mr. Landor’s drawing-room we heard a loud cheering, and presently Mr. Thrupp, the clerk at the bank, who had been waiting at the Red Lion to hear the result, came to let us know. He said Dempster had been making a speech to the mob out the window. They were distributing drink to the people, and hoisting placards in great letters,—“Down with the Tryanites!” “Down with cant!” They had a hideous caricature of me being tripped-up and pitched head-foremost out of the pulpit. Good old Mr. Landor would insist on sending me round in the carriage; he thought I should not be safe from the mob; but I got down at the Crossways. The row was evidently preconcerted by Dempster before he set out. He made sure of succeeding.’

‘Yes; the town is in chaos. While we were sitting in Mr. Landor’s living room, we heard loud cheering, and soon after, Mr. Thrupp, the clerk at the bank, who had been waiting at the Red Lion to hear the results, came to inform us. He said Dempster had been giving a speech to the crowd from the window. They were handing out drinks to people and putting up signs in big letters: “Down with the Tryanites!” “Down with hypocrisy!” They had a grotesque caricature of me being tripped and thrown headfirst out of the pulpit. Good old Mr. Landor insisted on driving me around in the carriage; he thought I wouldn’t be safe from the crowd, but I got out at the Crossways. It was clear that the uproar had been planned by Dempster before he left. He was confident of his success.’

Mr. Tryan’s utterance had been getting rather louder and more rapid in the course of this speech, and he now added, in the energetic chest-voice, which, both in and out of the pulpit, alternated continually with his more silvery notes,—‘But his triumph will be a short one. If he thinks he can intimidate me by obloquy or threats, he has mistaken the man he has to deal with. Mr. Dempster and his colleagues will find themselves checkmated after all. Mr. Prendergast has been false to his own conscience in this business. He knows as well as I do that he is throwing away the souls of the people by leaving things as they are in the parish. But I shall appeal to the Bishop—I am confident of his sympathy.’

Mr. Tryan's voice had been getting louder and faster during his speech, and he now added, in his strong chest voice, which alternated with his softer tones both in and out of the pulpit, "But his victory will be short-lived. If he thinks he can scare me with insults or threats, he’s got the wrong guy. Mr. Dempster and his team will find themselves outplayed in the end. Mr. Prendergast has betrayed his own conscience in this matter. He knows just as well as I do that he’s neglecting the souls of the people by keeping things as they are in the parish. But I will appeal to the Bishop—I am sure he will understand."

‘The Bishop will be coming shortly, I suppose,’ said Miss Pratt, ‘to hold a confirmation?’

‘The Bishop should be arriving soon, I guess,’ said Miss Pratt, ‘to conduct a confirmation?’

‘Yes; but I shall write to him at once, and lay the case before him. Indeed, I must hurry away now, for I have many matters to attend to. You, ladies, have been kindly helping me with your labours, I see,’ continued Mr. Tryan, politely, glancing at the canvass-covered books as he rose from his seat. Then, turning to Mary Linnet: ‘Our library is really getting on, I think. You and your sister have quite a heavy task of distribution now.’

‘Yes; but I’ll write to him right away and explain everything. Actually, I need to get going now because I have a lot to take care of. You ladies have been really helpful with your work, I see,’ Mr. Tryan said politely, glancing at the canvass-covered books as he stood up. Then, turning to Mary Linnet: ‘I think our library is really coming together. You and your sister have quite a job distributing everything now.’

Poor Rebecca felt it very hard to bear that Mr. Tryan did not turn towards her too. If he knew how much she entered into his feelings about the lecture, and the interest she took in the library. Well! perhaps it was her lot to be overlooked—and it might be a token of mercy. Even a good man might not always know the heart that was most with him. But the next moment poor Mary had a pang, when Mr. Tryan turned to Miss Eliza Pratt, and the preoccupied expression of his face melted into that beaming timidity with which a man almost always addresses a pretty woman.

Poor Rebecca found it really hard to accept that Mr. Tryan didn’t look her way either. If he only knew how much she connected with his feelings about the lecture and how interested she was in the library. Well! maybe it was just her fate to be overlooked—and that could be a blessing in disguise. Even a good man might not always recognize the heart that is most in tune with him. But in the next moment, poor Mary felt a sting when Mr. Tryan turned to Miss Eliza Pratt, and the distracted look on his face transformed into that charming shyness with which a man usually speaks to a beautiful woman.

‘I have to thank you, too, Miss Eliza, for seconding me so well in your visits to Joseph Mercer. The old man tells me how precious he finds your reading to him, now he is no longer able to go to church.’

‘I have to thank you, too, Miss Eliza, for supporting me so well during your visits to Joseph Mercer. The old man tells me how much he appreciates your reading to him, now that he can no longer go to church.’

Miss Eliza only answered by a blush, which made her look all the handsomer, but her aunt said,—‘Yes, Mr. Tryan, I have ever inculcated on my dear Eliza the importance of spending her leisure in being useful to her fellow-creatures. Your example and instruction have been quite in the spirit of the system which I have always pursued, though we are indebted to you for a clearer view of the motives that should actuate us in our pursuit of good works. Not that I can accuse myself of having ever had a self-righteous spirit, but my humility was rather instinctive than based on a firm ground of doctrinal knowledge, such as you so admirably impart to us.’

Miss Eliza just blushed in response, which made her look even more attractive, but her aunt said, “Yes, Mr. Tryan, I've always taught my dear Eliza the importance of using her free time to help others. Your example and guidance align perfectly with the principles I've always followed, although we owe you for giving us a clearer understanding of the motivations that should drive us to do good. It's not that I ever considered myself self-righteous, but my humility came more from instinct than from a solid foundation of doctrinal knowledge, like the valuable lessons you share with us.”

Mrs. Linnet’s usual entreaty that Mr. Tryan would ‘have something—some wine and water and a biscuit’, was just here a welcome relief from the necessity of answering Miss Pratt’s oration.

Mrs. Linnet’s usual request that Mr. Tryan would ‘have something—some wine and water and a biscuit’ was just a welcome break from having to listen to Miss Pratt’s speech.

‘Not anything, my dear Mrs. Linnet, thank you. You forget what a Rechabite I am. By the by, when I went this morning to see a poor girl in Butcher’s Lane, whom I had heard of as being in a consumption, I found Mrs. Dempster there. I had often met her in the street, but did not know it was Mrs. Dempster. It seems she goes among the poor a good deal. She is really an interesting-looking woman. I was quite surprised, for I have heard the worst account of her habits—that she is almost as bad as her husband. She went out hastily as soon as I entered. But’ (apologetically) ‘I am keeping you all standing, and I must really hurry away. Mrs. Pettifer, I have not had the pleasure of calling on you for some time; I shall take an early opportunity of going your way. Good evening, good evening.’

‘Not at all, my dear Mrs. Linnet, thank you. You forget how much of a Rechabite I am. By the way, when I went this morning to see a poor girl in Butcher’s Lane, who I heard was suffering from consumption, I found Mrs. Dempster there. I had often seen her in the street but didn’t realize it was Mrs. Dempster. It seems she spends a lot of time with the poor. She’s really an interesting-looking woman. I was quite surprised, because I’ve heard terrible things about her habits—that she’s almost as bad as her husband. She left hurriedly as soon as I arrived. But’ (apologetically) ‘I’m keeping you all standing, and I really must rush off. Mrs. Pettifer, I haven’t had the pleasure of visiting you for some time; I’ll make it a point to go your way soon. Good evening, good evening.’

Chapter 4

Mr. Tryan was right in saying that the ‘row’ in Milby had been preconcerted by Dempster. The placards and the caricature were prepared before the departure of the delegates; and it had been settled that Mat Paine, Dempster’s clerk, should ride out on Thursday morning to meet them at Whitlow, the last place where they would change horses, that he might gallop back and prepare an ovation for the triumvirate in case of their success. Dempster had determined to dine at Whitlow: so that Mat Paine was in Milby again two hours before the entrance of the delegates, and had time to send a whisper up the back streets that there was promise of a ‘spree’ in the Bridge Way, as well as to assemble two knots of picked men—one to feed the flame of orthodox zeal with gin-and-water, at the Green Man, near High Street; the other to solidify their church principles with heady beer at the Bear and Ragged Staff in the Bridge Way.

Mr. Tryan was correct in saying that the commotion in Milby had been planned by Dempster. The posters and the caricature were prepared before the delegates left; and it had been arranged for Mat Paine, Dempster’s clerk, to ride out on Thursday morning to meet them at Whitlow, the last stop where they would change horses, so he could rush back and set up a celebration for the trio if they succeeded. Dempster had decided to have dinner in Whitlow, which meant Mat Paine was back in Milby two hours before the delegates arrived and had time to spread the word through the side streets that there was likely to be a party in the Bridge Way, as well as to gather two groups of select individuals—one to fuel the fire of orthodox enthusiasm with gin-and-water at the Green Man near High Street; the other to strengthen their church principles with strong beer at the Bear and Ragged Staff in the Bridge Way.

The Bridge Way was an irregular straggling street, where the town fringed off raggedly into the Whitlow road: rows of new red-brick houses, in which ribbon-looms were rattling behind long lines of window, alternating with old, half-thatched, half-tiled cottages—one of those dismal wide streets where dirt and misery have no long shadows thrown on them to soften their ugliness. Here, about half-past five o’clock, Silly Caleb, an idiot well known in Dog Lane, but more of a stranger in the Bridge Way, was seen slouching along with a string of boys hooting at his heels; presently another group, for the most part out at elbows, came briskly in the same direction, looking round them with an air of expectation; and at no long interval, Deb Traunter, in a pink flounced gown and floating ribbons, was observed talking with great affability to two men in seal-skin caps and fustian, who formed her cortege. The Bridge Way began to have a presentiment of something in the wind. Phib Cook left her evening wash-tub and appeared at her door in soap-suds, a bonnet-poke, and general dampness; three narrow-chested ribbon-weavers, in rusty black streaked with shreds of many-coloured silk, sauntered out with their hands in their pockets; and Molly Beale, a brawny old virago, descrying wiry Dame Ricketts peeping out from her entry, seized the opportunity of renewing the morning’s skirmish. In short, the Bridge Way was in that state of excitement which is understood to announce a ‘demonstration’ on the part of the British public; and the afflux of remote townsmen increasing, there was soon so large a crowd that it was time for Bill Powers, a plethoric Goliath, who presided over the knot of beer-drinkers at the Bear and Ragged Staff, to issue forth with his companions, and, like the enunciator of the ancient myth, make the assemblage distinctly conscious of the common sentiment that had drawn them together. The expectation of the delegates’ chaise, added to the fight between Molly Beale and Dame Ricketts, and the ill-advised appearance of a lean bull-terrier, were a sufficient safety-valve to the popular excitement during the remaining quarter of an hour; at the end of which the chaise was seen approaching along the Whitlow road, with oak boughs ornamenting the horses’ heads; and, to quote the account of this interesting scene which was sent to the Rotherby Guardian, ‘loud cheers immediately testified to the sympathy of the honest fellows collected there, with the public-spirited exertions of their fellow-townsmen.’ Bill Powers, whose bloodshot eyes, bent hat, and protuberant altitude, marked him out as the natural leader of the assemblage, undertook to interpret the common sentiment by stopping the chaise, advancing to the door with raised hat, and begging to know of Mr. Dempster, whether the Rector had forbidden the ‘canting lecture’.

The Bridge Way was a messy, winding street, where the town awkwardly spilled into the Whitlow road: rows of new red-brick houses, with ribbon looms clattering behind long lines of windows, mixed with old cottages that were half-thatched and half-tiled—one of those dreary wide streets where dirt and misery don’t have long shadows to soften their ugliness. Here, around 5:30 PM, Silly Caleb, an idiot well known in Dog Lane but more of a stranger in the Bridge Way, was seen shuffling along with a group of boys jeering at him; soon another group, mostly scruffy, came briskly along in the same direction, looking around with an air of expectation; and not long after, Deb Traunter, in a pink flouncy gown and flowing ribbons, was spotted chatting amiably with two men in seal-skin caps and worn clothes who were accompanying her. The Bridge Way began to sense that something was up. Phib Cook left her evening wash tub and appeared at her door covered in soap suds, wearing a bonnet and looking generally damp; three thin ribbon weavers, in tattered black streaked with bits of colorful silk, strolled out with their hands in their pockets; and Molly Beale, a tough old woman, spotted wiry Dame Ricketts peeking out from her doorway and seized the chance to reignite their earlier argument. In short, the Bridge Way was buzzing with the kind of excitement that signals a ‘demonstration’ from the British public; and as more townspeople arrived, the crowd grew large enough that it was time for Bill Powers, a stout giant who was in charge of the group of beer drinkers at the Bear and Ragged Staff, to step out with his friends and, like the announcer of an ancient tale, make the gathering aware of the shared feeling that had united them. The anticipation of the delegates’ carriage, along with the scuffle between Molly Beale and Dame Ricketts, and the ill-timed appearance of a skinny bull terrier, provided enough of an outlet for the public’s excitement during the next fifteen minutes; by which time, the carriage was seen approaching along the Whitlow road, with oak branches adorning the horses’ heads; and, to quote the description of this event sent to the Rotherby Guardian, ‘loud cheers immediately showed the solidarity of the honest fellows gathered there, with the public-spirited efforts of their fellow townsmen.’ Bill Powers, with his bloodshot eyes, tilted hat, and towering stature, stood out as the natural leader of the crowd, and he took it upon himself to express the common sentiment by stopping the carriage, approaching the door with his hat raised, and asking Mr. Dempster whether the Rector had prohibited the ‘preaching lecture.’

‘Yes, yes,’ said Mr. Dempster. ‘Keep up a jolly good hurray.’

‘Yeah, yeah,’ said Mr. Dempster. ‘Keep the festive spirit going.’

No public duty could have been more easy and agreeable to Mr. Powers and his associates, and the chorus swelled all the way to the High Street, where, by a mysterious coincidence often observable in these spontaneous ‘demonstrations’, large placards on long poles were observed to shoot upwards from among the crowd, principally in the direction of Tucker’s Lane, where the Green Man was situated. One bore, ‘Down with the Tryanites!’ another, ‘No Cant!’ another, ‘Long live our venerable Curate!’ and one in still larger letters, ‘Sound Church Principles and no Hypocrisy!’ But a still more remarkable impromptu was a huge caricature of Mr. Tryan in gown and band, with an enormous aureole of yellow hair and upturned eyes, standing on the pulpit stairs and trying to pull down old Mr. Crewe. Groans, yells, and hisses—hisses, yells, and groans—only stemmed by the appearance of another caricature representing Mr. Tryan being pitched head-foremost from the pulpit stairs by a hand which the artist, either from subtilty of intention or want of space, had left unindicated. In the midst of the tremendous cheering that saluted this piece of symbolical art, the chaise had reached the door of the Red Lion, and loud cries of ‘Dempster for ever!’ with a feebler cheer now and then for Tomlinson and Budd, were presently responded to by the appearance of the public-spirited attorney at the large upper window, where also were visible a little in the background the small sleek head of Mr. Budd, and the blinking countenance of Mr. Tomlinson.

No public duty could have been easier or more enjoyable for Mr. Powers and his associates, and the crowd cheered all the way to High Street, where, by a strange coincidence often seen in these spontaneous ‘demonstrations,’ large signs on tall poles suddenly appeared among the crowd, mainly pointing towards Tucker’s Lane, where the Green Man was located. One sign read, ‘Down with the Tryanites!’ another, ‘No Cant!’ another, ‘Long live our venerable Curate!’ and one in even larger letters proclaimed, ‘Sound Church Principles and no Hypocrisy!’ But an even more striking display was a huge caricature of Mr. Tryan in his gown and bands, with a massive halo of yellow hair and wide-open eyes, standing on the pulpit steps and trying to bring down old Mr. Crewe. Groans, shouts, and boos—boos, shouts, and groans—were only interrupted by the sight of another caricature showing Mr. Tryan being thrown headfirst from the pulpit stairs by a hand that the artist, whether intentionally or due to lack of space, had left out. In the midst of the uproarious cheering that greeted this symbolic artwork, the carriage had arrived at the door of the Red Lion, and loud shouts of ‘Dempster for ever!’ along with a softer cheer now and then for Tomlinson and Budd, were soon met with the appearance of the public-minded attorney at the large upper window, where, just behind him, the small sleek head of Mr. Budd and the blinking face of Mr. Tomlinson could also be seen.

Mr. Dempster held his hat in his hand, and poked his head forward with a butting motion by way of bow. A storm of cheers subsided at last into dropping sounds of ‘Silence!’ ‘Hear him!’ ‘Go it, Dempster!’ and the lawyer’s rasping voice became distinctly audible.

Mr. Dempster held his hat in his hand and leaned his head forward in a nod. A wave of cheers eventually faded into shouts of 'Quiet!' 'Listen to him!' 'Go for it, Dempster!' and the lawyer's raspy voice became clearly audible.

‘Fellow-townsmen! It gives us the sincerest pleasure—I speak for my respected colleagues as well as myself—to witness these strong proofs of your attachment to the principles of our excellent Church, and your zeal for the honour of our venerable pastor. But it is no more than I expected of you. I know you well. I’ve known you for the last twenty years to be as honest and respectable a set of ratepayers as any in this county. Your hearts are sound to the core! No man had better try to thrust his cant and hypocrisy down your throats. You’re used to wash them with liquor of a better flavour. This is the proudest moment in my own life, and I think I may say in that of my colleagues, in which I have to tell you that our exertions in the cause of sound religion and manly morality have been crowned with success. Yes, my fellow-townsmen! I have the gratification of announcing to you thus formally what you have already learned indirectly. The pulpit from which our venerable pastor has fed us with sound doctrine for half a century is not to be invaded by a fanatical, sectarian, double-faced, Jesuitical interloper! We are not to have our young people demoralized and corrupted by the temptations to vice, notoriously connected with Sunday evening lectures! We are not to have a preacher obtruding himself upon us, who decries good works, and sneaks into our homes perverting the faith of our wives and daughters! We are not to be poisoned with doctrines which damp every innocent enjoyment, and pick a poor man’s pocket of the sixpence with which he might buy himself a cheerful glass after a hard day’s work, under pretence of paying for bibles to send to the Chicktaws!

‘Fellow townspeople! It truly brings us great joy—I speak for my respected colleagues as well as myself—to see this strong evidence of your commitment to the principles of our wonderful Church and your dedication to the honor of our esteemed pastor. But this is exactly what I expected from you. I know you well. For the past twenty years, I’ve seen you as one of the most honest and respectable groups of taxpayers in this county. Your hearts are solid! No one should try to shove their nonsense and hypocrisy down your throats. You’re used to washing it down with something much better. This is the proudest moment of my life, and I believe I can say the same for my colleagues, as I share with you that our efforts for true religion and strong morality have been successful. Yes, my fellow townspeople! I have the pleasure of formally announcing what you’ve already picked up indirectly. The pulpit from which our esteemed pastor has provided us with sound teachings for half a century will not be taken over by a fanatic, hypocritical, two-faced, Jesuit-like intruder! We will not allow our young people to be demoralized and corrupted by the temptations of vice, which are sadly associated with Sunday evening lectures! We will not have a preacher forcing his way into our lives, who bashes good deeds and sneaks into our homes to distort the faith of our wives and daughters! We will not be poisoned by doctrines that ruin every innocent enjoyment and rob a poor man of the sixpence he might use to buy himself a cheerful drink after a long day’s work, all under the guise of paying for bibles to send to the Chickasaws!’

‘But I’m not going to waste your valuable time with unnecessary words. I am a man of deeds’ (‘Ay, damn you, that you are, and you charge well for ’em too,’ said a voice from the crowd, probably that of a gentleman who was immediately afterwards observed with his hat crushed over his head.) ‘I shall always be at the service of my fellow-townsmen, and whoever dares to hector over you, or interfere with your innocent pleasures, shall have an account to settle with Robert Dempster.

‘But I'm not going to waste your precious time with unnecessary words. I'm a man of action’ (‘Yeah, damn you, that's true, and you charge a lot for it too,’ said a voice from the crowd, likely belonging to a gentleman who was soon seen with his hat squished down over his head.) ‘I will always be here for my fellow townspeople, and anyone who dares to bully you or interfere with your innocent enjoyment will have to face Robert Dempster.’

‘Now, my boys! you can’t do better than disperse and carry the good news to all your fellow-townsmen, whose hearts are as sound as your own. Let some of you go one way and some another, that every man, woman, and child in Milby may know what you know yourselves. But before we part, let us have three cheers for True Religion, and down with Cant!’

‘Now, guys! You can't do better than split up and share the good news with all your neighbors, whose hearts are as pure as yours. Some of you go one way and some the other, so that everyone in Milby knows what you know. But before we head out, let’s give three cheers for True Religion, and let's get rid of Hypocrisy!’

When the last cheer was dying, Mr. Dempster closed the window, and the judiciously-instructed placards and caricatures moved off in divers directions, followed by larger or smaller divisions of the crowd. The greatest attraction apparently lay in the direction of Dog Lane, the outlet towards Paddiford Common, whither the caricatures were moving; and you foresee, of course, that those works of symbolical art were consumed with a liberal expenditure of dry gorse-bushes and vague shouting.

When the last cheer faded away, Mr. Dempster closed the window, and the carefully placed signs and cartoons scattered in different directions, followed by various groups of people. The biggest pull seemed to be toward Dog Lane, the path leading to Paddiford Common, where the cartoons were heading; and, of course, you can imagine that those symbolic artworks were set ablaze with an ample supply of dry gorse bushes and indistinct shouting.

After these great public exertions, it was natural that Mr. Dempster and his colleagues should feel more in need than usual of a little social relaxation; and a party of their friends was already beginning to assemble in the large parlour of the Red Lion, convened partly by their own curiosity, and partly by the invaluable Mat Paine. The most capacious punch-bowl was put in requisition; and that born gentleman, Mr. Lowme, seated opposite Mr. Dempster as ‘Vice’, undertook to brew the punch, defying the criticisms of the envious men out of office, who with the readiness of irresponsibility, ignorantly suggested more lemons. The social festivities were continued till long past midnight, when several friends of sound religion were conveyed home with some difficulty, one of them showing a dogged determination to seat himself in the gutter.

After all their hard work in public service, it was only natural for Mr. Dempster and his colleagues to crave a bit of social downtime; a group of friends was already gathering in the large parlor of the Red Lion, brought together partly by their own curiosity and partly by the invaluable Mat Paine. They brought out the biggest punch bowl available, and the charming Mr. Lowme, seated across from Mr. Dempster as the 'Vice,' took on the task of making the punch, ignoring the critics from the opposition who, with the ease of being uninvolved, foolishly suggested adding more lemons. The social celebrations continued until well after midnight, when some friends of good faith were taken home with difficulty, one of them stubbornly trying to sit down in the gutter.

Mr. Dempster had done as much justice to the punch as any of the party; and his friend Boots, though aware that the lawyer could ‘carry his liquor like Old Nick’, with whose social demeanour Boots seemed to be particularly well acquainted, nevertheless thought it might be as well to see so good a customer in safety to his own door, and walked quietly behind his elbow out of the inn-yard. Dempster, however, soon became aware of him, stopped short, and, turning slowly round upon him, recognized the well-known drab waistcoat sleeves, conspicuous enough in the starlight.

Mr. Dempster had enjoyed the punch as much as anyone at the party; and his friend Boots, although he knew the lawyer could handle his drinks like a pro, with whom Boots seemed to have a familiar rapport, still figured it would be wise to make sure such a good customer got home safely, so he quietly walked behind him as they left the inn yard. However, Dempster quickly noticed Boots, stopped suddenly, and turned around slowly, recognizing the familiar drab sleeves of his waistcoat, which stood out clearly in the starlight.

‘You twopenny scoundrel! What do you mean by dogging a professional man’s footsteps in this way? I’ll break every bone in your skin if you attempt to track me, like a beastly cur sniffing at one’s pocket. Do you think a gentleman will make his way home any the better for having the scent of your blacking-bottle thrust up his nostrils?’

‘You cheap scoundrel! What do you think you’re doing following a professional man around like this? I’ll break every bone in your body if you try to follow me, like a nasty mutt sniffing around my pocket. Do you really think a gentleman will get home any faster with the smell of your shoe polish in his nose?’

Boots slunk back, in more amusement than ill-humour, thinking the lawyer’s ‘rum talk’ was doubtless part and parcel of his professional ability; and Mr. Dempster pursued his slow way alone.

Boots backed away, more amused than annoyed, thinking the lawyer's 'rum talk' was probably just part of his professional charm; and Mr. Dempster continued on his way alone.

His house lay in Orchard Street, which opened on the prettiest outskirt of the town—the church, the parsonage, and a long stretch of green fields. It was an old-fashioned house, with an overhanging upper storey; outside, it had a face of rough stucco, and casement windows with green frames and shutters; inside, it was full of long passages, and rooms with low ceilings. There was a large heavy knocker on the green door, and though Mr. Dempster carried a latch-key, he sometimes chose to use the knocker. He chose to do so now. The thunder resounded through Orchard Street, and, after a single minute, there was a second clap louder than the first. Another minute, and still the door was not opened; whereupon Mr. Dempster, muttering, took out his latch-key, and, with less difficulty than might have been expected, thrust it into the door. When he opened the door the passage was dark.

His house was on Orchard Street, which led to the most charming edge of town—the church, the parsonage, and a long stretch of green fields. It was an old-fashioned house, with an overhanging upper floor; outside, it had a rough stucco exterior, and casement windows with green frames and shutters; inside, it was filled with long hallways and rooms with low ceilings. There was a large, heavy knocker on the green door, and although Mr. Dempster had a latch-key, he sometimes preferred to use the knocker. He decided to do that now. The thunder echoed through Orchard Street, and, after a minute, there was a second clap that was louder than the first. Another minute passed, and still the door remained closed; so Mr. Dempster, grumbling, took out his latch-key and, with less difficulty than expected, inserted it into the lock. When he opened the door, the hallway was dark.

‘Janet!’ in the loudest rasping tone, was the next sound that rang through the house.

‘Janet!’ in the loudest, harsh tone, was the next sound that echoed through the house.

‘Janet!’ again—before a slow step was heard on the stairs, and a distant light began to flicker on the wall of the passage.

‘Janet!’ again—before a slow step was heard on the stairs, and a distant light began to flicker on the wall of the passage.

‘Curse you! you creeping idiot! Come faster, can’t you?’

‘Curse you! You crawling fool! Hurry up, can’t you?’

Yet a few seconds, and the figure of a tall woman, holding aslant a heavy-plated drawing-room candlestick, appeared at the turning of the passage that led to the broader entrance.

Yet a few seconds later, a tall woman appeared at the turn of the hallway, holding a heavy, ornate candlestick at an angle.

She had on a light dress which sat loosely about her figure, but did not disguise its liberal, graceful outline. A heavy mass of straight jet-black hair had escaped from its fastening, and hung over her shoulders. Her grandly-cut features, pale with the natural paleness of a brunette, had premature lines about them, telling that the years had been lengthened by sorrow, and the delicately-curved nostril, which seemed made to quiver with the proud consciousness of power and beauty, must have quivered to the heart-piercing griefs which had given that worn look to the corners of the mouth. Her wide open black eyes had a strangely fixed, sightless gaze, as she paused at the turning, and stood silent before her husband.

She wore a light dress that hung loosely around her figure but still showed off its generous, graceful shape. A thick mass of straight jet-black hair had escaped its fastening and cascaded over her shoulders. Her beautifully defined features, pale from the natural complexion of a brunette, bore signs of premature aging, indicating that the years had been harsh due to sorrow. The delicately shaped nostril, which seemed designed to vibrate with a proud sense of power and beauty, must have trembled under the heart-wrenching grief that had given her mouth its worn look. Her wide open black eyes had a strangely fixed, unfocused gaze as she paused at the corner and stood silently before her husband.

‘I’ll teach you to keep me waiting in the dark, you pale staring fool!’ he said, advancing with his slow drunken step. ‘What, you’ve been drinking again, have you? I’ll beat you into your senses.’

‘I’ll show you what happens when you make me wait in the dark, you pale, staring idiot!’ he said, moving forward with his slow, unsteady gait. ‘What, have you been drinking again? I’ll knock some sense into you.’

He laid his hand with a firm grip on her shoulder, turned her round, and pushed her slowly before him along the passage and through the dining-room door, which stood open on their left hand.

He placed his hand firmly on her shoulder, turned her around, and gently guided her in front of him down the hallway and through the dining-room door, which was open to their left.

There was a portrait of Janet’s mother, a grey-haired, dark-eyed old woman, in a neatly fluted cap, hanging over the mantelpiece. Surely the aged eyes take on a look of anguish as they see Janet—not trembling, no! it would be better if she trembled—standing stupidly unmoved in her great beauty while the heavy arm is lifted to strike her. The blow falls—another—and another. Surely the mother hears that cry—‘O Robert! pity! pity!’

There was a portrait of Janet’s mother, an old woman with grey hair and dark eyes, wearing a neatly fluted cap, hanging above the fireplace. Surely the aged eyes show a look of anguish as they see Janet—not trembling, no! It would be better if she trembled—standing there, completely still in her stunning beauty while the heavy arm is raised to hit her. The blow lands—again—and again. Surely the mother hears that cry—‘O Robert! Have mercy! Have mercy!’

Poor grey-haired woman! Was it for this you suffered a mother’s pangs in your lone widowhood five-and-thirty years ago? Was it for this you kept the little worn morocco shoes Janet had first run in, and kissed them day by day when she was away from you, a tall girl at school? Was it for this you looked proudly at her when she came back to you in her rich pale beauty, like a tall white arum that has just unfolded its grand pure curves to the sun?

Poor grey-haired woman! Was it for this that you endured the pains of motherhood alone for thirty-five years? Was it for this that you held onto the little worn morocco shoes that Janet first ran in, kissing them every day while she was away, a tall girl at school? Was it for this that you looked at her with pride when she returned to you in her beautiful, pale elegance, like a tall white arum that has just opened its grand, pure curves to the sun?

The mother lies sleepless and praying in her lonely house, weeping the difficult tears of age, because she dreads this may be a cruel night for her child.

The mother lies awake, praying in her empty house, shedding the painful tears of old age, because she fears this might be a rough night for her child.

She too has a picture over her mantelpiece, drawn in chalk by Janet long years ago. She looked at it before she went to bed. It is a head bowed beneath a cross, and wearing a crown of thorns.

She also has a picture above her mantelpiece, drawn in chalk by Janet a long time ago. She looked at it before going to bed. It’s a head bowed under a cross, wearing a crown of thorns.

Chapter 5

It was half-past nine o’clock in the morning. The midsummer sun was already warm on the roofs and weathercocks of Milby. The church-bells were ringing, and many families were conscious of Sunday sensations, chiefly referable to the fact that the daughters had come down to breakfast in their best frocks, and with their hair particularly well dressed. For it was not Sunday, but Wednesday; and though the Bishop was going to hold a Confirmation, and to decide whether or not there should be a Sunday evening lecture in Milby, the sunbeams had the usual working-day look to the haymakers already long out in the fields, and to laggard weavers just ‘setting up’ their week’s ‘piece’. The notion of its being Sunday was the strongest in young ladies like Miss Phipps, who was going to accompany her younger sister to the confirmation, and to wear a ‘sweetly pretty’ transparent bonnet with marabout feathers on the interesting occasion, thus throwing into relief the suitable simplicity of her sister’s attire, who was, of course, to appear in a new white frock; or in the pupils at Miss Townley’s, who were absolved from all lessons, and were going to church to see the Bishop, and to hear the Honourable and Reverend Mr. Prendergast, the rector, read prayers—a high intellectual treat, as Miss Townley assured them. It seemed only natural that a rector, who was honourable, should read better than old Mr. Crewe, who was only a curate, and not honourable; and when little Clara Robins wondered why some clergymen were rectors and others not, Ellen Marriott assured her with great confidence that it was only the clever men who were made rectors. Ellen Marriott was going to be confirmed. She was a short, fair, plump girl, with blue eyes and sandy hair, which was this morning arranged in taller cannon curls than usual, for the reception of the Episcopal benediction, and some of the young ladies thought her the prettiest girl in the school; but others gave the preference to her rival, Maria Gardner, who was much taller, and had a lovely ‘crop’ of dark-brown ringlets, and who, being also about to take upon herself the vows made in her name at her baptism, had oiled and twisted her ringlets with especial care. As she seated herself at the breakfast-table before Miss Townley’s entrance to dispense the weak coffee, her crop excited so strong a sensation that Ellen Marriott was at length impelled to look at it, and to say with suppressed but bitter sarcasm, ‘Is that Miss Gardner’s head?’ ‘Yes,’ said Maria, amiable and stuttering, and no match for Ellen in retort; ‘th—th—this is my head.’ ‘Then I don’t admire it at all!’ was the crushing rejoinder of Ellen, followed by a murmur of approval among her friends. Young ladies, I suppose, exhaust their sac of venom in this way at school. That is the reason why they have such a harmless tooth for each other in after life.

It was nine-thirty in the morning. The midsummer sun was already warm on the roofs and weather vanes of Milby. The church bells were ringing, and many families felt some Sunday vibes, mostly because the daughters had come down for breakfast in their best dresses, with their hair styled particularly well. But it wasn’t Sunday; it was Wednesday. The Bishop was going to hold a Confirmation and decide whether there would be a Sunday evening lecture in Milby. However, the sunbeams had the typical weekday glow for the haymakers already out in the fields and the late weavers just getting their week’s work started. The idea of it being Sunday felt strongest for young ladies like Miss Phipps, who was going to take her younger sister to the confirmation and wear a “sweetly pretty” transparent bonnet with marabou feathers for the occasion, highlighting the simple elegance of her sister’s outfit, who was, of course, wearing a new white dress. The same went for the students at Miss Townley’s school, who had no lessons and were going to church to see the Bishop and listen to the Honourable and Reverend Mr. Prendergast, the rector, read prayers—a highbrow experience, as Miss Townley assured them. It seemed only logical that an honourable rector would read better than old Mr. Crewe, who was just a curate and not honourable. When little Clara Robins wondered why some clergymen were rectors while others were not, Ellen Marriott confidently told her it was only the clever ones who became rectors. Ellen Marriott was about to be confirmed. She was a short, fair, chunky girl with blue eyes and sandy hair, styled in taller cannon curls than usual this morning for the reception of the Episcopal blessing. Some of the young ladies considered her the prettiest girl in the school, but others preferred her rival, Maria Gardner, who was much taller and had a lovely crop of dark-brown ringlets. Since Maria was also about to take on the vows made for her at her baptism, she had oiled and twisted her ringlets with extra care. As she sat at the breakfast table before Miss Townley came in to serve the weak coffee, her hairstyle created such a stir that Ellen Marriott eventually felt compelled to look at it and said, with suppressed but bitter sarcasm, “Is that Miss Gardner’s head?” “Yes,” Maria replied, friendly yet stuttering, and unable to match Ellen’s wit; “th—th—this is my head.” “Then I don’t admire it at all!” was Ellen's sharp comeback, followed by a murmur of approval from her friends. Young ladies, I guess, let out their frustrations this way at school. That’s why they tend to be so harmless with each other in later life.

The only other candidate for confirmation at Miss Townley’s was Mary Dunn, a draper’s daughter in Milby and a distant relation of the Miss Linnets. Her pale lanky hair could never be coaxed into permanent curl, and this morning the heat had brought it down to its natural condition of lankiness earlier than usual. But that was not what made her sit melancholy and apart at the lower end of the form. Her parents were admirers of Mr. Tryan, and had been persuaded, by the Miss Linnets’ influence, to insist that their daughter should be prepared for confirmation by him, over and above the preparation given to Miss Townley’s pupils by Mr. Crewe. Poor Mary Dunn! I am afraid she thought it too heavy a price to pay for these spiritual advantages, to be excluded from every game at ball to be obliged to walk with none but little girls—in fact, to be the object of an aversion that nothing short of an incessant supply of plumcakes would have neutralized. And Mrs. Dunn was of opinion that plumcake was unwholesome. The anti-Tryanite spirit, you perceive, was very strong at Miss Townley’s, imported probably by day scholars, as well as encouraged by the fact that that clever woman was herself strongly opposed to innovation, and remarked every Sunday that Mr. Crewe had preached an ‘excellent discourse’. Poor Mary Dunn dreaded the moment when school-hours would be over, for then she was sure to be the butt of those very explicit remarks which, in young ladies’ as well as young gentlemen’s seminaries, constitute the most subtle and delicate form of the innuendo. ‘I’d never be a Tryanite, would you?’ ‘O here comes the lady that knows so much more about religion than we do!’ ‘Some people think themselves so very pious!’

The only other candidate for confirmation at Miss Townley's was Mary Dunn, a draper's daughter from Milby and a distant relative of the Miss Linnets. Her pale, lanky hair could never be styled into permanent curls, and this morning, the heat had caused it to revert to its naturally lank state earlier than usual. But that wasn't what made her sit alone and gloomy at the lower end of the bench. Her parents were fans of Mr. Tryan and had been convinced by the Miss Linnets' influence to require that their daughter be prepared for confirmation by him, in addition to the preparation Mr. Crewe provided for Miss Townley’s students. Poor Mary Dunn! I’m afraid she felt that the spiritual benefits came at too high a cost—being excluded from every ball game and having to walk only with little girls—in reality, being the target of a dislike so strong that only an endless supply of plum cakes could have made it any better. And Mrs. Dunn believed that plum cake was unhealthy. The anti-Tryan sentiment, as you can see, was quite strong at Miss Townley's, likely brought in by day students, as well as supported by the fact that that clever woman herself opposed changes and commented every Sunday that Mr. Crewe had delivered an ‘excellent sermon.’ Poor Mary Dunn dreaded when school hours would end because then she would surely become the target of those very pointed remarks that, in both girls’ and boys’ schools, represent the most subtle and delicate form of innuendo. ‘I’d never be a Tryanite, would you?’ ‘Oh, here comes the lady who knows so much more about religion than we do!’ ‘Some people think they’re so very pious!’

It is really surprising that young ladies should not be thought competent to the same curriculum as young gentlemen. I observe that their powers of sarcasm are quite equal; and if there had been a genteel academy for young gentlemen at Milby, I am inclined to think that, notwithstanding Euclid and the classics, the party spirit there would not have exhibited itself in more pungent irony, or more incisive satire, than was heard in Miss Townley’s seminary. But there was no such academy, the existence of the grammar-school under Mr. Crewe’s superintendence probably discouraging speculations of that kind; and the genteel youths of Milby were chiefly come home for the midsummer holidays from distant schools. Several of us had just assumed coat-tails, and the assumption of new responsibilities apparently following as a matter of course, we were among the candidates for confirmation. I wish I could say that the solemnity of our feelings was on a level with the solemnity of the occasion; but unimaginative boys find it difficult to recognize apostolical institutions in their developed form, and I fear our chief emotion concerning the ceremony was a sense of sheepishness, and our chief opinion, the speculative and heretical position, that it ought to be confined to the girls. It was a pity, you will say; but it is the way with us men in other crises, that come a long while after confirmation. The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us, and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.

It’s really surprising that young women aren’t considered capable of the same curriculum as young men. I notice their sarcasm is just as sharp, and if there had been a respectable academy for young men in Milby, I think that, despite studying Euclid and the classics, the rivalry there wouldn’t have shown itself with sharper irony or more biting satire than what we heard at Miss Townley’s school. But there wasn’t such an academy, likely because the grammar school under Mr. Crewe’s guidance discouraged those kinds of ideas; the well-off young men of Milby mostly returned home for the midsummer holidays from far-off schools. A few of us had just started wearing tails, and with that came new responsibilities that seemed to follow naturally, so we were among the candidates for confirmation. I wish I could say our feelings matched the seriousness of the occasion; however, practical boys struggle to recognize established religious traditions when they’re all laid out, and I fear our main feeling about the ceremony was just awkwardness, along with the rather unconventional view that it should be limited to the girls. It’s a shame, you might say; but this is how we men often are in other significant moments long after confirmation. The precious moments in life pass us by, and all we see is sand; angels come to visit us, and we only recognize them after they’re gone.

But, as I said, the morning was sunny, the bells were ringing, the ladies of Milby were dressed in their Sunday garments.

But, as I mentioned, the morning was sunny, the bells were ringing, and the women of Milby were dressed in their Sunday outfits.

And who is this bright-looking woman walking with hasty step along Orchard Street so early, with a large nosegay in her hand? Can it be Janet Dempster, on whom we looked with such deep pity, one sad midnight, hardly a fortnight ago? Yes; no other woman in Milby has those searching black eyes, that tall graceful unconstrained figure, set off by her simple muslin dress and black lace shawl, that massy black hair now so neatly braided in glossy contrast with the white satin ribbons of her modest cap and bonnet. No other woman has that sweet speaking smile, with which she nods to Jonathan Lamb, the old parish clerk. And, ah!—now she comes nearer—there are those sad lines about the mouth and eyes on which that sweet smile plays like sunbeams on the storm-beaten beauty of the full and ripened corn.

And who is this bright-looking woman walking quickly down Orchard Street so early, holding a large bouquet in her hand? Could it be Janet Dempster, the woman we looked at with such deep sympathy one sad midnight, barely two weeks ago? Yes; no other woman in Milby has those intense black eyes, that tall, graceful, natural figure, enhanced by her simple muslin dress and black lace shawl, and that thick black hair, now neatly braided in striking contrast with the white satin ribbons of her modest cap and bonnet. No other woman has that sweet, warm smile, with which she greets Jonathan Lamb, the old parish clerk. And, ah!—now she’s coming closer—there are those sad lines around her mouth and eyes, over which that sweet smile shines like sunlight on the storm-battered beauty of fully ripened corn.

She is turning out of Orchard Street, and making her way as fast as she can to her mother’s house, a pleasant cottage facing a roadside meadow, from which the hay is being carried. Mrs. Raynor has had her breakfast, and is seated in her arm-chair reading, when Janet opens the door, saying, in her most playful voice,—‘Please, mother, I’m come to show myself to you before I go to the Parsonage. Have I put on my pretty cap and bonnet to satisfy you?’

She is exiting Orchard Street and hurrying to her mother’s house, a charming cottage overlooking a meadow where the hay is being harvested. Mrs. Raynor has already had her breakfast and is sitting in her armchair reading when Janet opens the door and says in her most playful voice, "Please, mom, I’ve come to show myself to you before I go to the Parsonage. Do you like my pretty cap and bonnet?"

Mrs. Raynor looked over her spectacles, and met her daughter’s glance with eyes as dark and loving as her own. She was a much smaller woman than Janet, both in figure and feature, the chief resemblance lying in the eyes and the clear brunette complexion. The mother’s hair had long been grey, and was gathered under the neatest of caps, made by her own clever fingers, as all Janet’s caps and bonnets were too. They were well-practised fingers, for Mrs. Raynor had supported herself in her widowhood by keeping a millinery establishment, and in this way had earned money enough to give her daughter what was then thought a first-rate education, as well as to save a sum which, eked out by her son-in-law, sufficed to support her in her solitary old age. Always the same clean, neat old lady, dressed in black silk, was Mrs. Raynor: a patient, brave woman, who bowed with resignation under the burden of remembered sorrow, and bore with meek fortitude the new load that the new days brought with them.

Mrs. Raynor looked over her glasses and met her daughter’s gaze with eyes as dark and loving as her own. She was much smaller than Janet, both in size and features, with the main resemblance being their eyes and clear brunette complexion. The mother’s hair had been grey for a long time and was neatly gathered under a cap made by her own skillful hands, just like all of Janet’s caps and hats. Her fingers were well-trained since Mrs. Raynor had supported herself as a widow by running a millinery shop, earning enough money to give her daughter what was considered a top-notch education, as well as saving a sum that, combined with her son-in-law’s support, was enough for her to live on in her solitary old age. Mrs. Raynor always looked the same: a clean, neat old lady dressed in black silk. She was a patient, brave woman who accepted the weight of her past sorrows and bore with quiet strength the new challenges that each day brought.

‘Your bonnet wants pulling a trifle forwarder, my child,’ she said, smiling, and taking off her spectacles, while Janet at once knelt down before her, and waited to be ‘set to rights’, as she would have done when she was a child. ‘You’re going straight to Mrs. Crewe’s, I suppose? Are those flowers to garnish the dishes?’

‘Your hat needs to be pulled a little farther forward, my dear,’ she said, smiling and taking off her glasses, while Janet immediately knelt down in front of her, waiting to be ‘fixed up’ as she would have when she was a child. ‘You're going straight to Mrs. Crewe's, I assume? Are those flowers for decorating the dishes?’

‘No, indeed, mother. This is a nosegay for the middle of the table. I’ve sent up the dinner-service and the ham we had cooked at our house yesterday, and Betty is coming directly with the garnish and the plate. We shall get our good Mrs. Crewe through her troubles famously. Dear tiny woman! You should have seen her lift up her hands yesterday, and pray heaven to take her before ever she should have another collation to get ready for the Bishop. She said, “It’s bad enough to have the Archdeacon, though he doesn’t want half so many jelly-glasses. I wouldn’t mind, Janet, if it was to feed all the old hungry cripples in Milby; but so much trouble and expense for people who eat too much every day of their lives!” We had such a cleaning and furbishing-up of the sitting-room yesterday! Nothing will ever do away with the smell of Mr. Crewe’s pipes, you know; but we have thrown it into the background, with yellow soap and dry lavender. And now I must run away. You will come to church, mother?’

‘No, really, Mom. This is a bouquet for the center of the table. I’ve sent up the dinnerware and the ham we cooked at our place yesterday, and Betty will be here soon with the garnish and the plate. We’ll help dear Mrs. Crewe get through her troubles just fine. Poor little woman! You should have seen her raise her hands yesterday and pray to heaven to take her before she had to prepare another meal for the Bishop. She said, “It’s bad enough to have the Archdeacon, even though he doesn’t need as many jelly glasses. I wouldn’t mind, Janet, if it was to feed all the old hungry folks in Milby; but all this trouble and expense for people who eat too much every day!” We cleaned and tidied up the sitting room so much yesterday! Nothing will ever completely get rid of the smell of Mr. Crewe’s pipes, you know; but we’ve masked it with yellow soap and dry lavender. And now I need to run. Are you going to come to church, Mom?’

‘Yes, my dear, I wouldn’t lose such a pretty sight. It does my old eyes good to see so many fresh young faces. Is your husband going?’

‘Yes, my dear, I wouldn’t miss such a lovely sight. It’s nice for my old eyes to see so many fresh young faces. Is your husband going?’

‘Yes, Robert will be there. I’ve made him as neat as a new pin this morning, and he says the Bishop will think him too buckish by half. I took him into Mammy Dempster’s room to show himself. We hear Tryan is making sure of the Bishop’s support; but we shall see. I would give my crooked guinea, and all the luck it will ever bring me, to have him beaten, for I can’t endure the sight of the man coming to harass dear old Mr. and Mrs. Crewe in their last days. Preaching the Gospel indeed! That is the best Gospel that makes everybody happy and comfortable, isn’t it, mother?’

‘Yes, Robert will be there. I made him look sharp this morning, and he says the Bishop will think he's trying too hard. I took him into Mammy Dempster’s room to show himself off. We hear Tryan is securing the Bishop’s support; but we’ll see. I would give my crooked guinea, and all the luck it will ever bring me, to see him lose, because I can’t stand the thought of him bothering dear old Mr. and Mrs. Crewe in their final days. Preaching the Gospel, really! The best Gospel is the one that makes everyone happy and comfortable, right, mother?’

‘Ah, child, I’m afraid there’s no Gospel will do that here below.’

‘Ah, child, I’m afraid there’s no Gospel that will do that here on Earth.’

‘Well, I can do something to comfort Mrs. Crewe, at least; so give me a kiss, and good-bye till church-time.’

‘Well, I can do something to comfort Mrs. Crewe, at least; so give me a kiss, and goodbye until church time.’

The mother leaned back in her chair when Janet was gone, and sank into a painful reverie. When our life is a continuous trial, the moments of respite seem only to substitute the heaviness of dread for the heaviness of actual suffering: the curtain of cloud seems parted an instant only that we may measure all its horror as it hangs low, black, and imminent, in contrast with the transient brightness; the water drops that visit the parched lips in the desert bear with them only the keen imagination of thirst. Janet looked glad and tender now—but what scene of misery was coming next? She was too like the cistus flowers in the little garden before the window, that, with the shades of evening, might lie with the delicate white and glossy dark of their petals trampled in the roadside dust. When the sun had sunk, and the twilight was deepening, Janet might be sitting there, heated, maddened, sobbing out her griefs with selfish passion, and wildly wishing herself dead.

The mother leaned back in her chair after Janet left and sank into a painful daydream. When our lives feel like a constant struggle, the moments of relief only replace the weight of fear with the weight of real pain: the curtain of clouds seems to part for a moment so we can see all its horror hanging low, dark, and threatening, in contrast to the fleeting brightness; the water drops that touch the parched lips in the desert bring only the sharp reminder of thirst. Janet looked happy and loving now—but what misery was coming next? She was too much like the cistus flowers in the little garden outside the window, which, with the coming of evening, might lie there with their delicate white and glossy dark petals trampled in the roadside dust. When the sun had set, and twilight was settling in, Janet might be sitting there, heated, frantic, crying out her sorrows with selfish intensity, and wildly wishing she were dead.

Mrs. Raynor had been reading about the lost sheep, and the joy there is in heaven over the sinner that repenteth. Surely the eternal love she believed in through all the sadness of her lot, would not leave her child to wander farther and farther into the wilderness till there was no turning—the child so lovely, so pitiful to others, so good, till she was goaded into sin by woman’s bitterest sorrows! Mrs. Raynor had her faith and her spiritual comforts, though she was not in the least evangelical and knew nothing of doctrinal zeal. I fear most of Mr. Tryan’s hearers would have considered her destitute of saving knowledge, and I am quite sure she had no well-defined views on justification. Nevertheless, she read her Bible a great deal, and thought she found divine lessons there—how to bear the cross meekly, and be merciful. Let us hope that there is a saving ignorance, and that Mrs. Raynor was justified without knowing exactly how.

Mrs. Raynor had been reading about the lost sheep and the joy in heaven over a sinner who repents. Surely the eternal love she believed in throughout all the sadness of her life wouldn’t allow her child to wander further and further into the wilderness until there was no way back—the child so beautiful, so pitiable to others, so good, until driven to sin by the harshest sorrows of a woman! Mrs. Raynor had her faith and her spiritual comforts, even though she wasn’t at all evangelical and knew nothing about doctrinal zeal. I fear most of Mr. Tryan’s listeners would have thought she lacked saving knowledge, and I’m quite sure she didn’t have clear ideas about justification. Still, she read her Bible a lot and felt she found divine lessons there—how to bear her burdens humbly and be compassionate. Let’s hope there’s such a thing as saving ignorance, and that Mrs. Raynor was justified without knowing exactly how.

She tried to have hope and trust, though it was hard to believe that the future would be anything else than the harvest of the seed that was being sown before her eyes. But always there is seed being sown silently and unseen, and everywhere there come sweet flowers without our foresight or labour. We reap what we sow, but Nature has love over and above that justice, and gives us shadow and blossom and fruit that spring from no planting of ours.

She tried to be hopeful and trusting, even though it was tough to believe that the future would be anything other than the result of the seeds being planted right in front of her. But there’s always seed being sown quietly and without us noticing, and beautiful flowers can bloom all around us without any effort or planning on our part. We get what we sow, but Nature offers us love beyond that fairness, providing us with shade, flowers, and fruit that we didn’t even plant ourselves.

Chapter 6

Most people must have agreed with Mrs. Raynor that the Confirmation that day was a pretty sight, at least when those slight girlish forms and fair young faces moved in a white rivulet along the aisles, and flowed into kneeling semicircles under the light of the great chancel window, softened by patches of dark old painted glass; and one would think that to look on while a pair of venerable hands pressed such young heads, and a venerable face looked upward for a blessing on them, would be very likely to make the heart swell gently, and to moisten the eyes. Yet I remember the eyes seemed very dry in Milby Church that day, notwithstanding that the Bishop was an old man, and probably venerable (for though he was not an eminent Grecian, he was the brother of a Whig lord); and I think the eyes must have remained dry, because he had small delicate womanish hands adorned with ruffles, and, instead of laying them on the girls’ heads, just let them hover over each in quick succession, as if it were not etiquette to touch them, and as if the laying on of hands were like the theatrical embrace—part of the play, and not to be really believed in. To be sure there were a great many heads, and the Bishop’s time was limited. Moreover, a wig can, under no circumstances, be affecting, except in rare cases of illusion; and copious lawn-sleeves cannot be expected to go directly to any heart except a washerwoman’s.

Most people probably agreed with Mrs. Raynor that the Confirmation that day was a beautiful sight, especially when those slender, girlish figures and youthful faces moved in a white stream down the aisles and formed kneeling semicircles under the light of the grand chancel window, softened by patches of dark, old stained glass. You would think that watching a pair of elderly hands press those young heads, while a wise old face looked up for a blessing on them, would likely make the heart swell gently and bring tears to the eyes. Yet I remember that the eyes seemed very dry in Milby Church that day, despite the fact that the Bishop was an old man, and probably respected (even though he wasn't an eminent scholar, he was the brother of a Whig lord); and I think the eyes must have stayed dry because he had small, delicate, womanly hands adorned with ruffles, and instead of laying them on the girls’ heads, he just let them hover over each head in quick succession, as if it were improper to touch them, and as if the laying on of hands was more like a theatrical gesture—part of the act, not something to be truly believed in. Of course, there were a lot of heads, and the Bishop’s time was limited. Plus, a wig can’t be touching under any circumstances, except in rare cases of illusion; and long, flowing sleeves can’t be expected to touch any heart except that of a washerwoman.

I know, Ned Phipps, who knelt against me, and I am sure made me behave much worse than I should have done without him, whispered that he thought the Bishop was a ‘guy’, and I certainly remember thinking that Mr. Prendergast looked much more dignified with his plain white surplice and black hair. He was a tall commanding man, and read the Liturgy in a strikingly sonorous and uniform voice, which I tried to imitate the next Sunday at home, until my little sister began to cry, and said I was ‘yoaring at her’.

I know, Ned Phipps, who knelt next to me, and I’m sure he made me act much worse than I would have on my own, whispered that he thought the Bishop was a ‘guy’, and I definitely remember thinking that Mr. Prendergast looked much more dignified in his plain white surplice and black hair. He was a tall, commanding man and read the Liturgy in a strikingly deep and steady voice, which I tried to mimic the next Sunday at home, until my little sister started crying and said I was ‘yelling at her’.

Mr. Tryan sat in a pew near the pulpit with several other clergymen. He looked pale, and rubbed his hand over his face and pushed back his hair oftener than usual. Standing in the aisle close to him, and repeating the responses with edifying loudness, was Mr. Budd, churchwarden and delegate, with a white staff in his hand and a backward bend of his small head and person, such as, I suppose, he considered suitable to a friend of sound religion. Conspicuous in the gallery, too, was the tall figure of Mr. Dempster, whose professional avocations rarely allowed him to occupy his place at church.

Mr. Tryan sat in a pew near the pulpit with a few other clergymen. He looked pale, rubbing his hand over his face and pushing back his hair more often than usual. Standing in the aisle close to him, and repeating the responses with impressive loudness, was Mr. Budd, the churchwarden and delegate, holding a white staff and leaning his small head and body backward, which he probably thought was fitting for a friend of strong faith. Also noticeable in the gallery was the tall figure of Mr. Dempster, whose work commitments rarely allowed him to be in his church seat.

‘There’s Dempster,’ said Mrs. Linnet to her daughter Mary, ‘looking more respectable than usual, I declare. He’s got a fine speech by heart to make to the Bishop, I’ll answer for it. But he’ll be pretty well sprinkled with snuff before service is over, and the Bishop won’t be able to listen to him for sneezing, that’s one comfort.’

‘There’s Dempster,’ said Mrs. Linnet to her daughter Mary, ‘looking more respectable than usual, I swear. He’s memorized a great speech to deliver to the Bishop, I’m sure of it. But he’ll be pretty much covered in snuff before the service ends, and the Bishop won’t be able to hear him for sneezing, so that’s a relief.’

At length the last stage in the long ceremony was over, the large assembly streamed warm and weary into the open afternoon sunshine, and the Bishop retired to the Parsonage, where, after honouring Mrs. Crewe’s collation, he was to give audience to the delegates and Mr. Tryan on the great question of the evening lecture.

At last, the final part of the lengthy ceremony was done, and the large crowd exited, feeling warm and tired, into the bright afternoon sunshine. The Bishop went back to the Parsonage, where, after enjoying Mrs. Crewe's refreshments, he was scheduled to meet with the delegates and Mr. Tryan regarding the important topic of the evening lecture.

Between five and six o’clock the Parsonage was once more as quiet as usual under the shadow of its tall elms, and the only traces of the Bishop’s recent presence there were the wheel marks on the gravel, and the long table with its garnished dishes awry, its damask sprinkled with crumbs, and its decanters without their stoppers. Mr. Crewe was already calmly smoking his pipe in the opposite sitting-room, and Janet was agreeing with Mrs. Crewe that some of the blanc-mange would be a nice thing to take to Sally Martin, while the little old lady herself had a spoon in her hand ready to gather the crumbs into a plate, that she might scatter them on the gravel for the little birds.

Between five and six o’clock, the Parsonage was once again as quiet as usual under the shadow of its tall elm trees. The only reminders of the Bishop’s recent visit were the wheel marks on the gravel, the long table with its disheveled dishes, the damask tablecloth sprinkled with crumbs, and the decanters lacking their stoppers. Mr. Crewe was already peacefully smoking his pipe in the opposite sitting room, while Janet agreed with Mrs. Crewe that some of the blanc-mange would be nice to take to Sally Martin. Meanwhile, the little old lady herself held a spoon in her hand, ready to gather the crumbs onto a plate so she could scatter them on the gravel for the little birds.

Before that time, the Bishop’s carriage had been seen driving through the High Street on its way to Lord Trufford’s, where he was to dine. The question of the lecture was decided, then?

Before that time, the Bishop’s carriage had been spotted driving down the High Street on its way to Lord Trufford’s, where he was going to have dinner. So, the lecture topic was settled, right?

The nature of the decision may be gathered from the following conversation which took place in the bar of the Red Lion that evening.

The nature of the decision can be understood from the following conversation that happened in the bar of the Red Lion that evening.

‘So you’re done, eh, Dempster?’ was Mr. Pilgrim’s observation, uttered with some gusto. He was not glad Mr. Tryan had gained his point, but he was not sorry Dempster was disappointed.

‘So you’re done, huh, Dempster?’ was Mr. Pilgrim’s comment, said with some enthusiasm. He wasn’t happy that Mr. Tryan had succeeded, but he also wasn’t upset that Dempster was let down.

‘Done, sir? Not at all. It is what I anticipated. I knew we had nothing else to expect in these days, when the Church is infested by a set of men who are only fit to give out hymns from an empty cask, to tunes set by a journeyman cobbler. But I was not the less to exert myself in the cause of sound Churchmanship for the good of the town. Any coward can fight a battle when he’s sure of winning; but give me the man who has pluck to fight when he’s sure of losing. That’s my way, sir; and there are many victories worse than a defeat, as Mr. Tryan shall learn to his cost.’

‘Finished, sir? Not even close. This is exactly what I expected. I knew we had nothing else to look forward to these days, when the Church is overrun by a group of men who are only capable of handing out hymns from an empty barrel, to melodies composed by a journeyman cobbler. But I was still determined to push for genuine Church values for the benefit of the town. Any coward can jump into a fight when they know they're going to win; but I respect the person who has the guts to fight knowing they’re likely to lose. That's my approach, sir; and there are many victories that are worse than a defeat, as Mr. Tryan will find out the hard way.’

‘He must be a poor shuperannyated sort of a bishop, that’s my opinion,’ said Mr. Tomlinson, ‘to go along with a sneaking Methodist like Tryan. And, for my part, I think we should be as well wi’out bishops, if they’re no wiser than that. Where’s the use o’ havin’ thousands a-year an’ livin’ in a pallis, if they don’t stick to the Church?’

‘He must be a pretty pathetic bishop, that’s what I think,’ said Mr. Tomlinson. ‘To associate with a sneaky Methodist like Tryan is just sad. Honestly, I think we’d be better off without bishops if they’re not any smarter than that. What’s the point of making thousands a year and living in a palace if they don’t support the Church?’

‘No. There you’re going out of your depth, Tomlinson,’ said Mr. Dempster. ‘No one shall hear me say a word against Episcopacy—it is a safeguard of the Church; we must have ranks and dignities there as well as everywhere else. No, sir! Episcopacy is a good thing; but it may happen that a bishop is not a good thing. Just as brandy is a good thing, though this particular brandy is British, and tastes like sugared rain-water caught down the chimney. Here, Ratcliffe, let me have something to drink, a little less like a decoction of sugar and soot.’

‘No. You’re getting in over your head, Tomlinson,’ said Mr. Dempster. ‘I won’t say a word against Episcopacy—it’s a safeguard for the Church; we need ranks and dignities there just like in every other area. No, sir! Episcopacy is a good thing; but it might happen that a bishop isn’t a good thing. Just like brandy is a good thing, even if this particular brandy is British and tastes like sugary rainwater caught down the chimney. Here, Ratcliffe, get me something to drink that’s a little less like a mix of sugar and soot.’

I said nothing again’ Episcopacy,’ returned Mr. Tomlinson. ‘I only said I thought we should do as well wi’out bishops; an’ I’ll say it again for the matter o’ that. Bishops never brought any grist to my mill.’

‘i said nothing again’ Episcopacy,’ replied Mr. Tomlinson. ‘I just said I thought we’d be better off without bishops; and I’ll say it again for good measure. Bishops never helped me out in any way.’

‘Do you know when the lectures are to begin?’ said Mr. Pilgrim.

‘Do you know when the lectures are supposed to start?’ Mr. Pilgrim asked.

‘They are to begin on Sunday next,’ said Mr. Dempster, in a significant tone; ‘but I think it will not take a long-sighted prophet to foresee the end of them. It strikes me Mr. Tryan will be looking out for another curacy shortly.’

‘They are to begin next Sunday,’ said Mr. Dempster, with a meaningful tone; ‘but I don’t think it will take a visionary to predict their downfall. It seems to me Mr. Tryan will be on the lookout for another curacy soon.’

‘He’ll not get many Milby people to go and hear his lectures after a while, I’ll bet a guinea,’ observed Mr. Budd. ‘I know I’ll not keep a single workman on my ground who either goes to the lecture himself or lets anybody belonging to him go.’

‘He won’t get many people from Milby to attend his lectures after a while, I’ll bet a guinea,’ said Mr. Budd. ‘I know I won’t keep a single worker on my property who either goes to the lecture himself or lets anyone in his family go.’

‘Nor me nayther,’ said Mr. Tomlinson. ‘No Tryanite shall touch a sack or drive a waggon o’ mine, that you may depend on. An’ I know more besides me as are o’ the same mind.’

‘Not me either,’ said Mr. Tomlinson. ‘No Tryanite is going to touch a sack or drive a wagon of mine, you can count on that. And I know others who feel the same way.’

‘Tryan has a good many friends in the town, though, and friends that are likely to stand by him too,’ said Mr. Pilgrim. ‘I should say it would be as well to let him and his lectures alone. If he goes on preaching as he does, with such a constitution as his, he’ll get a relaxed throat by-and-by, and you’ll be rid of him without any trouble.’

‘Tryan has a lot of friends in town, and friends who are likely to support him too,’ said Mr. Pilgrim. ‘I think it would be best to just leave him and his lectures alone. If he keeps preaching like he does, with his constitution, he'll end up with a sore throat eventually, and you won’t have to deal with him anymore.’

‘We’ll not allow him to do himself that injury,’ said Mr. Dempster. ‘Since his health is not good, we’ll persuade him to try change of air. Depend upon it, he’ll find the climate of Milby too hot for him.’

‘We won't let him hurt himself,’ said Mr. Dempster. ‘Since he's not in great health, we'll convince him to get some fresh air. You can count on it, he'll find the climate in Milby too harsh for him.’

Chapter 7

Mr. Dempster did not stay long at the Red Lion that evening. He was summoned home to meet Mr. Armstrong, a wealthy client, and as he was kept in consultation till a late hour, it happened that this was one of the nights on which Mr. Dempster went to bed tolerably sober. Thus the day, which had been one of Janet’s happiest, because it had been spent by her in helping her dear old friend Mrs. Crewe, ended for her with unusual quietude; and as a bright sunset promises a fair morning, so a calm lying down is a good augury for a calm waking. Mr. Dempster, on the Thursday morning, was in one of his best humours, and though perhaps some of the good-humour might result from the prospect of a lucrative and exciting bit of business in Mr. Armstrong’s probable lawsuit, the greater part of it was doubtless due to those stirrings of the more kindly, healthy sap of human feeling, by which goodness tries to get the upper hand in us whenever it seems to have the slightest chance—on Sunday mornings, perhaps, when we are set free from the grinding hurry of the week, and take the little three-year old on our knee at breakfast to share our egg and muffin; in moments of trouble, when death visits our roof or illness makes us dependent on the tending hand of a slighted wife; in quiet talks with an aged mother, of the days when we stood at her knee with our first picture-book, or wrote her loving letters from school. In the man whose childhood has known caresses there is always a fibre of memory that can be touched to gentle issues, and Mr. Dempster, whom you have hitherto seen only as the orator of the Red Lion, and the drunken tyrant of a dreary midnight home, was the first-born darling son of a fair little mother. That mother was living still, and her own large black easy-chair, where she sat knitting through the livelong day, was now set ready for her at the breakfast-table, by her son’s side, a sleek tortoise-shell cat acting as provisional incumbent.

Mr. Dempster didn't stay long at the Red Lion that evening. He was called home to meet Mr. Armstrong, a wealthy client, and since he was kept in a meeting until late, it turned out that this was one of the nights when Mr. Dempster went to bed fairly sober. So, the day, which had been one of Janet’s happiest because she spent it helping her dear old friend Mrs. Crewe, ended for her with unusual calmness; and just as a bright sunset suggests a lovely morning, a peaceful bedtime is a good sign for a calm waking. On Thursday morning, Mr. Dempster was in one of his best moods, and while some of his good mood might come from the prospect of a profitable and exciting piece of business in Mr. Armstrong’s likely lawsuit, most of it was certainly due to those stirrings of kinder, healthier human feelings that push goodness to take over whenever it gets even the slightest chance—on Sunday mornings, perhaps, when we are freed from the hectic rush of the week and hold the little three-year-old on our lap at breakfast to share our egg and muffin; in tough times, when death visits our home or illness makes us rely on the caring hand of a neglected wife; in quiet conversations with an aging mother, recalling the days when we stood by her side with our first picture book, or wrote her sweet letters from school. In a man whose childhood has felt love, there's always a thread of memory that can be tugged to bring about gentle feelings, and Mr. Dempster, who you've only seen as the speaker at the Red Lion and the drunk tyrant of a gloomy midnight home, was the beloved first-born son of a lovely little mother. That mother was still alive, and her large black comfy chair, where she sat knitting all day long, was now set for her at the breakfast table, beside her son, with a sleek tortoiseshell cat occupying it temporarily.

‘Good morning, Mamsey! why, you’re looking as fresh as a daisy this morning. You’re getting young again’, said Mr. Dempster, looking up from his newspaper when the little old lady entered. A very little old lady she was, with a pale, scarcely wrinkled face, hair of that peculiar white which tells that the locks have once been blond, a natty pure white cap on her head, and a white shawl pinned over her shoulders. You saw at a glance that she had been a mignonne blonde, strangely unlike her tall, ugly, dingy-complexioned son; unlike her daughter-in-law, too, whose large-featured brunette beauty seemed always thrown into higher relief by the white presence of little Mamsey. The unlikeness between Janet and her mother-in-law went deeper than outline and complexion, and indeed there was little sympathy between them, for old Mrs. Dempster had not yet learned to believe that her son, Robert, would have gone wrong if he had married the right woman—a meek woman like herself, who would have borne him children, and been a deft, orderly housekeeper. In spite of Janet’s tenderness and attention to her, she had had little love for her daughter-in-law from the first, and had witnessed the sad growth of home-misery through long years, always with a disposition to lay the blame on the wife rather than on the husband, and to reproach Mrs. Raynor for encouraging her daughter’s faults by a too exclusive sympathy. But old Mrs. Dempster had that rare gift of silence and passivity which often supplies the absence of mental strength; and, whatever were her thoughts, she said no word to aggravate the domestic discord. Patient and mute she sat at her knitting through many a scene of quarrel and anguish; resolutely she appeared unconscious of the sounds that reached her ears, and the facts she divined after she had retired to her bed; mutely she witnessed poor Janet’s faults, only registering them as a balance of excuse on the side of her son. The hard, astute, domineering attorney was still that little old woman’s pet, as he had been when she watched with triumphant pride his first tumbling effort to march alone across the nursery floor. ‘See what a good son he is to me!’ she often thought. ‘Never gave me a harsh word. And so he might have been a good husband.’

“Good morning, Mamsey! You’re looking as fresh as a daisy today. You’re getting younger again,” said Mr. Dempster, looking up from his newspaper when the little old lady walked in. She was indeed a very tiny old lady, with a pale, barely wrinkled face, hair that was a peculiar white signaling it had once been blonde, a neat pure white cap on her head, and a white shawl pinned over her shoulders. It was clear at a glance that she had once been a charming blonde, strangely different from her tall, unattractive, and drab-complexioned son; she was also unlike her daughter-in-law, whose large-featured brunette beauty always seemed to stand out even more against the white presence of little Mamsey. The differences between Janet and her mother-in-law ran deeper than just appearance, and there was little sympathy between them, as old Mrs. Dempster had not yet come to believe that her son, Robert, would have gone astray if he had married the right woman—a gentle woman like herself, who would have had children for him and been a skillful, organized homemaker. Despite Janet’s kindness and care for her, Mrs. Dempster had never really loved her daughter-in-law from the beginning and had watched the slow development of unhappiness in their home over many years, always inclined to blame the wife rather than the husband, and to scold Mrs. Raynor for encouraging her daughter’s flaws with overly exclusive sympathy. But old Mrs. Dempster possessed that rare talent for silence and passivity, which often compensates for a lack of mental strength; and whatever her thoughts were, she never said a word to make the domestic strife worse. Patient and silent, she sat knitting through many scenes of arguments and sorrow; she consistently seemed unaware of the sounds that reached her ears and the truths she guessed after retiring to bed; quietly, she observed poor Janet’s faults, only noting them as excuses for her son. The harsh, sharp, controlling attorney remained that little old woman’s darling, just as he had been when she proudly watched his first unsteady steps across the nursery floor. “See what a good son he is to me!” she often thought. “Never said a harsh word. And so he could have been a good husband.”

O it is piteous—that sorrow of aged women! In early youth, perhaps, they said to themselves, ‘I shall be happy when I have a husband to love me best of all’; then, when the husband was too careless, ‘My child will comfort me’; then, through the mother’s watching and toil, ‘My child will repay me all when it grows up.’ And at last, after the long journey of years has been wearily travelled through, the mother’s heart is weighed down by a heavier burthen, and no hope remains but the grave.

O it’s so sad—that sorrow of older women! In their younger years, they might have thought, ‘I’ll be happy when I have a husband who loves me above all’; then, when the husband became indifferent, ‘My child will bring me joy’; then, with all the watching and hard work as a mother, ‘My child will pay me back once it grows up.’ And finally, after the long journey of years has been tiredly endured, the mother’s heart is burdened with a heavier load, and there’s no hope left except for the grave.

But this morning old Mrs. Dempster sat down in her easy-chair without any painful, suppressed remembrance of the preceding night.

But this morning, old Mrs. Dempster sat down in her easy chair without any painful memories of the previous night.

‘I declare mammy looks younger than Mrs. Crewe, who is only sixty-five,’ said Janet. ‘Mrs. Crewe will come to see you to-day, mammy, and tell you all about her troubles with the Bishop and the collation. She’ll bring her knitting, and you’ll have a regular gossip together.’

‘I declare, Mom looks younger than Mrs. Crewe, who is only sixty-five,’ said Janet. ‘Mrs. Crewe will come to see you today, Mom, and tell you all about her issues with the Bishop and the gathering. She’ll bring her knitting, and you’ll have a good old gossip together.’

‘The gossip will be all on one side, then, for Mrs. Crewe gets so very deaf, I can’t make her hear a word. And if I motion to her, she always understands me wrong.’

‘The gossip will only be coming from one side, then, because Mrs. Crewe is so incredibly deaf, I can’t get her to hear a single word. And if I try to gesture to her, she always misunderstands me.’

‘O, she will have so much to tell you to-day, you will not want to speak yourself. You, who have patience to knit those wonderful counterpanes, mammy, must not be impatient with dear Mrs. Crewe. Good old lady! I can’t bear her to think she’s ever tiresome to people, and you know she’s very ready to fancy herself in the way. I think she would like to shrink up to the size of a mouse, that she might run about and do people good without their noticing her.’

‘Oh, she’s going to have so much to share with you today that you won’t even want to speak. You, who are patient enough to knit those amazing quilts, mom, shouldn’t be impatient with dear Mrs. Crewe. Good old lady! I can’t stand the thought of her thinking she’s ever a bother to anyone, and you know she’s quick to believe she’s in the way. I think she’d want to shrink down to the size of a mouse so she could scurry around and help people without them even noticing her.’

‘It isn’t patience I want, God knows; it’s lungs to speak loud enough. But you’ll be at home yourself, I suppose, this morning; and you can talk to her for me.’

‘It’s not patience I want, God knows; it’s the breath to speak loud enough. But I guess you’ll be at home this morning, and you can talk to her for me.’

‘No, mammy; I promised poor Mrs. Lowme to go and sit with her. She’s confined to her room, and both the Miss Lowmes are out; so I’m going to read the newspaper to her and amuse her.’

‘No, Mom; I promised poor Mrs. Lowme I'd go and keep her company. She’s stuck in her room, and both the Miss Lowmes are out, so I’m going to read the newspaper to her and keep her entertained.’

‘Couldn’t you go another morning? As Mr. Armstrong and that other gentleman are coming to dinner, I should think it would be better to stay at home. Can you trust Betty to see to everything? She’s new to the place.’

‘Couldn’t you wait another morning? Since Mr. Armstrong and that other guy are coming over for dinner, I think it would be better to stay home. Can you trust Betty to handle everything? She’s new here.’

‘O I couldn’t disappoint Mrs. Lowme; I promised her. Betty will do very well, no fear.’

‘I can’t let Mrs. Lowme down; I promised her. Betty will be great, no doubt about it.’

Old Mrs. Dempster was silent after this, and began to sip her tea. The breakfast went on without further conversation for some time, Mr. Dempster being absorbed in the papers. At length, when he was running over the advertisements, his eye seemed to be caught by something that suggested a new thought to him. He presently thumped the table with an air of exultation, and, said turning to Janet,—‘I’ve a capital idea, Gypsy!’ (that was his name for his dark-eyed wife when he was in an extraordinarily good humour), ‘and you shall help me. It’s just what you’re up to.’

Old Mrs. Dempster fell quiet after that and started sipping her tea. Breakfast continued without much talking for a while, as Mr. Dempster was absorbed in the newspapers. Eventually, while he was skimming through the ads, something caught his eye that sparked a new idea. He suddenly slammed his hand on the table with excitement and said, turning to Janet, “I’ve got a great idea, Gypsy!” (that’s what he called his dark-eyed wife when he was in an exceptionally good mood), “and you’re going to help me. It’s exactly in your wheelhouse.”

‘What is it?’ said Janet, her face beaming at the sound of the pet name, now heard so seldom. ‘Anything to do with conveyancing?’

‘What is it?’ said Janet, her face lighting up at the sound of the pet name, now heard so rarely. ‘Is it about conveyancing?’

‘It’s a bit of fun worth a dozen fees—a plan for raising a laugh against Tryan and his gang of hypocrites.’

‘It’s a bit of fun worth a dozen fees—a plan to get a laugh at Tryan and his group of hypocrites.’

‘What is it? Nothing that wants a needle and thread, I hope, else I must go and tease mother.’

‘What is it? I hope it’s not something that needs a needle and thread, or else I’ll have to go and bother Mom.’

‘No, nothing sharper than your wit—except mine. I’ll tell you what it is. We’ll get up a programme of the Sunday evening lecture, like a play-bill, you know—“Grand Performance of the celebrated Mountebank,” and so on. We’ll bring in the Tryanites—old Landor and the rest—in appropriate characters. Proctor shall print it, and we’ll circulate it in the town. It will be a capital hit.’

‘No, nothing sharper than your wit—except mine. I’ll tell you what we should do. We’ll put together a program for the Sunday evening lecture, like a playbill, you know—“Grand Performance of the Celebrated Mountebank,” and so on. We’ll include the Tryanites—old Landor and the rest—in fitting roles. Proctor will print it, and we’ll distribute it around town. It will be a great success.’

‘Bravo!’ said Janet, clapping her hands. She would just then have pretended to like almost anything, in her pleasure at being appealed to by her husband, and she really did like to laugh at the Tryanites. ‘We’ll set about it directly, and sketch it out before you go to the office. I’ve got Tryan’s sermons up-stairs, but I don’t think there’s anything in them we can use. I’ve only just looked into them; they’re not at all what I expected—dull, stupid things—nothing of the roaring fire-and-brimstone sort that I expected.’

‘Bravo!’ said Janet, clapping her hands. In that moment, she would have pretended to enjoy almost anything, thrilled to have her husband reach out to her, and she genuinely found it amusing to laugh at the Tryanites. ‘We’ll get started on it right away and draft it out before you head to the office. I have Tryan’s sermons upstairs, but I don’t think there’s anything we can use from them. I just glanced through them; they’re nothing like I expected—boring, pointless stuff—definitely not the intense fire-and-brimstone kind I was anticipating.’

‘Roaring? No; Tryan’s as soft as a sucking dove—one of your honey-mouthed hypocrites. Plenty of devil and malice in him, though, I could see that, while he was talking to the Bishop; but as smooth as a snake outside. He’s beginning a single-handed fight with me, I can see—persuading my clients away from me. We shall see who will be the first to cry peccavi. Milby will do better without Mr. Tryan than without Robert Dempster, I fancy! and Milby shall never be flooded with cant as long as I can raise a breakwater against it. But now, get the breakfast things cleared away, and let us set about the play-bill. Come, mamsey, come and have a walk with me round the garden, and let us see how the cucumbers are getting on. I’ve never taken you round the garden for an age. Come, you don’t want a bonnet. It’s like walking in a greenhouse this morning.’

'Roaring? No; Tryan's as gentle as a dove—one of those smooth-talking hypocrites. There's plenty of devil and malice in him, though; I could see that while he was talking to the Bishop, but he's as slick as a snake on the outside. He's starting a one-on-one rivalry with me, I can tell—trying to lure my clients away. We'll see who gives in first. Milby would be better off without Mr. Tryan than without Robert Dempster, I bet! And Milby won't be drowning in nonsense as long as I can put up a barrier against it. But now, let’s clear away the breakfast things and get to the playbill. Come on, mamsey, let's take a walk around the garden and check on the cucumbers. I haven't taken you around the garden in ages. You don't need a hat; it’s like walking in a greenhouse this morning.'

‘But she will want a parasol,’ said Janet. ‘There’s one on the stand against the garden-door, Robert.’

‘But she will want a parasol,’ said Janet. ‘There’s one on the stand by the garden door, Robert.’

The little old lady took her son’s arm with placid pleasure. She could barely reach it so as to rest upon it, but he inclined a little towards her, and accommodated his heavy long-limbed steps to her feeble pace. The cat chose to sun herself too, and walked close beside them, with tail erect, rubbing her sleek sides against their legs,—too well fed to be excited by the twittering birds. The garden was of the grassy, shady kind, often seen attached to old houses in provincial towns; the apple-trees had had time to spread their branches very wide, the shrubs and hardy perennial plants had grown into a luxuriance that required constant trimming to prevent them from intruding on the space for walking. But the farther end, which united with green fields, was open and sunny.

The little old lady held her son's arm with a calm joy. She could barely reach it to lean on, but he leaned a bit toward her and adjusted his long strides to match her slower pace. The cat also decided to soak up some sun, walking right next to them with her tail held high, rubbing her smooth sides against their legs—too well-fed to be interested in the chirping birds. The garden was the typical grassy, shady type often found with old houses in small towns; the apple trees had spread their branches wide, and the shrubs and hardy perennials had grown so lush that they needed constant trimming to keep them from invading the walking space. However, the far end, which opened up to green fields, was bright and sunny.

It was rather sad, and yet pretty, to see that little group passing out of the shadow into the sunshine, and out of the sunshine into the shadow again: sad, because this tenderness of the son for the mother was hardly more than a nucleus of healthy life in an organ hardening by disease, because the man who was linked in this way with an innocent past, had become callous in worldliness, fevered by sensuality, enslaved by chance impulses; pretty, because it showed how hard it is to kill the deep-down fibrous roots of human love and goodness—how the man from whom we make it our pride to shrink, has yet a close brotherhood with us through some of our most sacred feelings.

It was quite sad, yet also beautiful, to see that small group moving from the shadow into the sunlight, and then back from the sunlight into the shadow again: sad because the son's affection for his mother was barely a core of healthy life in a body succumbing to disease, because the man tied to this innocent past had grown indifferent in a harsh world, consumed by desire and driven by random impulses; beautiful because it revealed how difficult it is to eradicate the deep roots of human love and goodness—how the person we often take pride in distancing ourselves from is still closely linked to us through some of our most sacred emotions.

As they were returning to the house, Janet met them, and said, ‘Now, Robert, the writing things are ready. I shall be clerk, and Mat Paine can copy it out after.’

As they were heading back to the house, Janet greeted them and said, “Now, Robert, the writing supplies are ready. I’ll be the clerk, and Mat Paine can copy it out later.”

Mammy once more deposited in her arm-chair, with her knitting in her hand, and the cat purring at her elbow, Janet seated herself at the table, while Mr. Dempster placed himself near her, took out his snuff-box, and plentifully suffusing himself with the inspiring powder, began to dictate.

Mammy settled into her armchair again, knitting in hand and the cat purring beside her, while Janet sat down at the table. Mr. Dempster took a seat near her, pulled out his snuff-box, and generously took some of the powder, then started to dictate.

What he dictated, we shall see by-and-by.

What he dictated, we will see later.

Chapter 8

The next day, Friday, at five o’clock by the sun-dial, the large bow-window of Mrs. Jerome’s parlour was open; and that lady herself was seated within its ample semicircle, having a table before her on which her best tea-tray, her best china, and her best urn-rug had already been standing in readiness for half an hour. Mrs. Jerome’s best tea-service was of delicate white fluted china, with gold sprigs upon it—as pretty a tea-service as you need wish to see, and quite good enough for chimney ornaments; indeed, as the cups were without handles, most visitors who had the distinction of taking tea out of them, wished that such charming china had already been promoted to that honorary position. Mrs. Jerome was like her china, handsome and old-fashioned. She was a buxom lady of sixty, in an elaborate lace cap fastened by a frill under her chin, a dark, well-curled front concealing her forehead, a snowy neckerchief exhibiting its ample folds as far as her waist, and a stiff grey silk gown. She had a clean damask napkin pinned before her to guard her dress during the process of tea-making; her favourite geraniums in the bow-window were looking as healthy as she could desire; her own handsome portrait, painted when she was twenty years younger, was smiling down on her with agreeable flattery; and altogether she seemed to be in as peaceful and pleasant a position as a buxom, well-drest elderly lady need desire. But, as in so many other cases, appearances were deceptive. Her mind was greatly perturbed and her temper ruffled by the fact that it was more than a quarter past five even by the losing timepiece, that it was half-past by her large gold watch, which she held in her hand as if she were counting the pulse of the afternoon, and that, by the kitchen clock, which she felt sure was not an hour too fast, it had already struck six. The lapse of time was rendered the more unendurable to Mrs. Jerome by her wonder that Mr. Jerome could stay out in the garden with Lizzie in that thoughtless way, taking it so easily that tea-time was long past, and that, after all the trouble of getting down the best tea-things, Mr. Tryan would not come.

The next day, Friday, at five o’clock by the sundial, the big bow window of Mrs. Jerome’s parlor was open; and that lady was sitting comfortably within its wide semicircle, with a table in front of her that had her finest tea tray, her best china, and her best urn rug already set up for half an hour. Mrs. Jerome’s best tea set was delicate white fluted china, decorated with gold sprigs—one of the prettiest tea sets you could hope to see, and more than fancy enough for a display piece; in fact, since the cups didn’t have handles, most guests who had the honor of drinking from them wished that such lovely china had already been put in that decorative role. Mrs. Jerome was like her china, attractive and old-fashioned. She was a plump lady of sixty, wearing an elaborate lace cap secured by a frill under her chin, a dark, well-curled fringe hiding her forehead, a white neckerchief showing off its generous folds down to her waist, and a stiff gray silk gown. She had a clean damask napkin pinned in front of her to protect her dress while making tea; her favorite geraniums in the bow window looked as healthy as she could wish; her own lovely portrait, painted when she was twenty years younger, smiled down at her in flattering approval; and overall, she seemed to be in as peaceful and pleasant a situation as a well-dressed, plump older lady could desire. But, like in so many other situations, things weren’t what they seemed. Her mind was quite unsettled and her temper was frayed by the fact that it was more than a quarter past five even by the unreliable clock, half-past by her large gold watch, which she held in her hand as if she were checking the rhythm of the afternoon, and that, according to the kitchen clock—which she was certain wasn’t an hour fast—it had already struck six. The passing time was even more unbearable for Mrs. Jerome because she couldn’t understand how Mr. Jerome could stay out in the garden with Lizzie so carelessly, as if it didn’t matter that tea time was long gone, and that after all the effort it took to bring out the best tea things, Mr. Tryan wouldn’t be coming.

This honour had been shown to Mr. Tryan, not at all because Mrs. Jerome had any high appreciation of his doctrine or of his exemplary activity as a pastor, but simply because he was a ‘Church clergyman’, and as such was regarded by her with the same sort of exceptional respect that a white woman who had married a native of the Society Islands might be supposed to feel towards a white-skinned visitor from the land of her youth. For Mrs. Jerome had been reared a Churchwoman, and having attained the age of thirty before she was married, had felt the greatest repugnance in the first instance to renouncing the religious forms in which she had been brought up. ‘You know,’ she said in confidence to her Church acquaintances, ‘I wouldn’t give no ear at all to Mr. Jerome at fust; but after all, I begun to think as there was a maeny things worse nor goin’ to chapel, an’ you’d better do that nor not pay your way. Mr. Jerome had a very pleasant manner with him, an’ there was niver another as kept a gig, an’ ’ud make a settlement on me like him, chapel or no chapel. It seemed very odd to me for a long while, the preachin’ without book, an’ the stannin’ up to one long prayer, istid o’ changin’ your postur. But la! there’s nothin’ as you mayn’t get used to i’ time; you can al’ys sit down, you know, before the prayer’s done. The ministers say pretty nigh the same things as the Church parsons, by what I could iver make out, an’ we’re out o’ chapel i’ the mornin’ a deal sooner nor they’re out o’ church. An’ as for pews, ourn’s is a deal comfortabler nor aeny i’ Milby Church.’

This honor was given to Mr. Tryan not because Mrs. Jerome valued his beliefs or saw him as a great pastor, but simply because he was a "Church clergyman." She held him in the same kind of exceptional regard that a white woman who married a native from the Society Islands might have for a white visitor from her homeland. Mrs. Jerome had been raised in the Church, and since she was thirty before getting married, she initially felt a strong aversion to giving up the religious practices she'd grown up with. "You know," she confided to her church friends, "I didn’t want to listen to Mr. Jerome at first, but I started to think that there were a lot worse things than going to chapel, and it’s better to do that than not pay your way. Mr. Jerome had a really pleasant manner, and there was never another man who owned a carriage and would settle down with me like he did, chapel or no chapel. For a long time, the preaching without a book seemed very strange to me, and standing for one long prayer instead of changing my position was odd. But, wow, you can get used to anything in time; you can always sit down, you know, before the prayer's finished. The ministers say pretty much the same things as the Church clergy, as far as I can tell, and we're out of chapel in the morning a lot quicker than they are out of church. And as for pews, ours are much more comfortable than any in Milby Church."

Mrs. Jerome, you perceive, had not a keen susceptibility to shades of doctrine, and it is probable that, after listening to Dissenting eloquence for thirty years, she might safely have re-entered the Establishment without performing any spiritual quarantine. Her mind, apparently, was of that non-porous flinty character which is not in the least danger from surrounding damp. But on the question of getting start of the sun on the day’s business, and clearing her conscience of the necessary sum of meals and the consequent ‘washing up’ as soon as possible, so that the family might be well in bed at nine, Mrs. Jerome was susceptible; and the present lingering pace of things, united with Mr. Jerome’s unaccountable obliviousness, was not to be borne any longer. So she rang the bell for Sally.

Mrs. Jerome, you see, wasn’t particularly sensitive to different beliefs, and it’s likely that, after listening to dissenting speeches for thirty years, she could easily have returned to the established church without needing any spiritual preparation. Her mind seemed to be of that tough, unyielding type that isn’t affected by the surrounding dampness at all. But when it came to getting an early start on the day’s tasks and clearing her conscience of the necessary meals and the subsequent washing up as quickly as possible, so that the family could be in bed by nine, Mrs. Jerome absolutely was sensitive; and the current slow pace of things, combined with Mr. Jerome’s baffling forgetfulness, was becoming intolerable. So she rang the bell for Sally.

‘Goodness me, Sally! go into the garden an’ see after your master. Tell him it’s goin’ on for six, an’ Mr. Tryan ’ull niver think o’ comin’ now, an’ it’s time we got tea over. An’ he’s lettin’ Lizzie stain her frock, I expect, among them strawberry beds. Mek her come in this minute.’

‘Oh my goodness, Sally! Go into the garden and check on your master. Tell him it’s nearly six, and Mr. Tryan will never think of coming now, and it’s time we got tea started. And he’s probably letting Lizzie stain her dress among those strawberry beds. Make her come in right now.’

No wonder Mr. Jerome was tempted to linger in the garden, for though the house was pretty and well deserved its name—‘the White House’, the tall damask roses that clustered over the porch being thrown into relief by rough stucco of the most brilliant white, yet the garden and orchards were Mr. Jerome’s glory, as well they might be; and there was nothing in which he had a more innocent pride—peace to a good man’s memory! all his pride was innocent—than in conducting a hitherto uninitiated visitor over his grounds, and making him in some degree aware of the incomparable advantages possessed by the inhabitants of the White House in the matter of red-streaked apples, russets, northern greens (excellent for baking), swan-egg pears, and early vegetables, to say nothing of flowering ‘srubs,’ pink hawthorns, lavender bushes more than ever Mrs. Jerome could use, and, in short, a superabundance of everything that a person retired from business could desire to possess himself or to share with his friends. The garden was one of those old-fashioned paradises which hardly exist any longer except as memories of our childhood: no finical separation between flower and kitchen garden there; no monotony of enjoyment for one sense to the exclusion of another; but a charming paradisiacal mingling of all that was pleasant to the eyes and good for food. The rich flower-border running along every walk, with its endless succession of spring flowers, anemones, auriculas, wall-flowers, sweet-williams, campanulas, snapdragons, and tiger-lilies, had its taller beauties, such as moss and Provence roses, varied with espalier apple-trees; the crimson of a carnation was carried out in the lurking crimson of the neighbouring strawberry-beds; you gathered a moss-rose one moment and a bunch of currants the next; you were in a delicious fluctuation between the scent of jasmine and the juice of gooseberries. Then what a high wall at one end, flanked by a summer-house so lofty, that after ascending its long flight of steps you could see perfectly well there was no view worth looking at; what alcoves and garden-seats in all directions; and along one side, what a hedge, tall, and firm, and unbroken, like a green wall!

No wonder Mr. Jerome wanted to stay in the garden. The house was nice and certainly lived up to its name, “the White House,” with its tall damask roses standing out against the bright white stucco. However, the garden and orchards were truly Mr. Jerome’s pride and joy, and he had every right to feel that way. There was nothing he took more innocent pride in—honoring a good man’s memory—than showing an uninitiated visitor around his grounds. He wanted them to appreciate the amazing benefits enjoyed by the residents of the White House, like red-streaked apples, russets, northern greens (perfect for baking), swan-egg pears, and early vegetables. Not to mention the flowering shrubs, pink hawthorns, and lavender bushes, more than Mrs. Jerome could ever use, along with a bounty of everything someone who has retired from work could wish to own or share with friends. The garden was like one of those old-fashioned paradises that hardly exist anymore, except as childhood memories: there was no picky division between flower and vegetable gardens; no boredom from enjoying just one sense over another; instead, it was a delightful blend of everything beautiful and delicious. The rich flower border along every path was filled with an endless array of spring flowers—anemones, auriculas, wallflowers, sweet-williams, campanulas, snapdragons, and tiger lilies—topped off with lofty beauties like moss and Provence roses, mixed in with espalier apple trees. The red of a carnation echoed in the nearby strawberry beds; one moment you’d pick a moss rose, and the next, a handful of currants. You'd be caught in a lovely mix of jasmine fragrance and gooseberry juice. And at one end was a tall wall, accompanied by a summer house so high that you could see there was no view worth looking at once you climbed its long staircase; there were alcoves and garden seats in every direction, and along one side, a tall, sturdy, unbroken hedge stood like a green wall!

It was near this hedge that Mr. Jerome was standing when Sally found him. He had set down the basket of strawberries on the gravel, and had lifted up little Lizzie in his arms to look at a bird’s nest. Lizzie peeped, and then looked at her grandpa with round blue eyes, and then peeped again.

It was by this hedge that Mr. Jerome was standing when Sally found him. He had placed the basket of strawberries on the gravel and had picked up little Lizzie in his arms to check out a bird's nest. Lizzie peeked, then looked at her grandpa with her big blue eyes, and then peeked again.

‘D’ye see it, Lizzie?’ he whispered.

“Do you see it, Lizzie?” he whispered.

‘Yes,’ she whispered in return, putting her lips very near grandpa’s face. At this moment Sally appeared.

"Yes," she whispered back, leaning her lips close to Grandpa's face. At that moment, Sally showed up.

‘Eh, eh, Sally, what’s the matter? Is Mr. Tryan come?’

‘Hey, hey, Sally, what’s wrong? Is Mr. Tryan here?’

‘No, sir, an’ Missis says she’s sure he won’t come now, an’ she wants you to come in an’ hev tea. Dear heart, Miss Lizzie, you’ve stained your pinafore, an’ I shouldn’t wonder if it’s gone through to your frock. There’ll be fine work! Come alonk wi’ me, do.’

‘No, sir, and Missis says she’s sure he won’t come now, and she wants you to come in and have tea. Oh dear, Miss Lizzie, you’ve stained your apron, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s gone through to your dress. There will be quite a mess! Come along with me, please.’

‘Nay, nay, nay, we’ve done no harm, we’ve done no harm, hev we, Lizzie? The wash-tub’ll make all right again.’

‘No, no, no, we haven’t done any harm, we haven’t done any harm, have we, Lizzie? The wash-tub will fix everything again.’

Sally, regarding the wash-tub from a different point of view, looked sourly serious, and hurried away with Lizzie, who trotted submissively along, her little head in eclipse under a large nankin bonnet, while Mr. Jerome followed leisurely with his full broad shoulders in rather a stooping posture, and his large good-natured features and white locks shaded by a broad-brimmed hat.

Sally, looking at the wash-tub from a different angle, appeared quite serious and hurried off with Lizzie, who walked obediently beside her, her small head obscured by a big nankin bonnet. Meanwhile, Mr. Jerome followed at a relaxed pace, his broad shoulders slightly hunched, his kind, prominent features, and white hair covered by a wide-brimmed hat.

‘Mr. Jerome, I wonder at you,’ said Mrs. Jerome, in a tone of indignant remonstrance, evidently sustained by a deep sense of injury, as her husband opened the parlour door. ‘When will you leave off invitin’ people to meals an’ not lettin’ ’em know the time? I’ll answer for’t, you niver said a word to Mr. Tryan as we should take tea at five o’clock. It’s just like you!’

‘Mr. Jerome, I can’t believe you,’ said Mrs. Jerome, with a tone of angry protest, clearly feeling deeply wronged as her husband opened the living room door. ‘When are you going to stop inviting people over for meals without telling them the time? I’m sure you didn’t say a word to Mr. Tryan that we’d have tea at five o’clock. It’s just typical of you!’

‘Nay, nay, Susan,’ answered the husband in a soothing tone, ‘there’s nothin’ amiss. I told Mr. Tryan as we took tea at five punctial; mayhap summat’s a detainin’ on him. He’s a deal to do, an’ to think on, remember.’

‘No, no, Susan,’ replied her husband in a calming voice, ‘there’s nothing wrong. I told Mr. Tryan when we had tea at five o'clock; maybe something is keeping him. He has a lot to do and think about, you know.’

‘Why, it’s struck six i’ the kitchen a’ready. It’s nonsense to look for him comin’ now. So you may’s well ring for th’ urn. Now Sally’s got th’ heater in the fire, we may’s well hev th’ urn in, though he doesn’t come. I niver see’d the like o’ you, Mr. Jerome, for axin’ people an’ givin’ me the trouble o’ gettin’ things down an’ hevin’ crumpets made, an’ after all they don’t come. I shall hev to wash every one o’ these tea-things myself, for there’s no trustin’ Sally—she’d break a fortin i’ crockery i’ no time!’

‘Why, it’s already six o’clock in the kitchen. It’s pointless to expect him to arrive now. So you might as well ring for the urn. Now that Sally’s got the heater in the fire, we might as well have the urn ready, even if he doesn’t show up. I’ve never seen anyone like you, Mr. Jerome, always asking people and giving me the hassle of getting things down and having crumpets made, and then they don’t even come. I’ll have to wash all these tea things myself, because you can’t trust Sally—she’d break a fortune in crockery in no time!’

‘But why will you give yourself sich trouble, Susan? Our everyday tea-things would ha’ done as well for Mr. Tryan, an’ they’re a deal convenenter to hold.’

‘But why will you give yourself such trouble, Susan? Our everyday tea things would have worked just as well for Mr. Tryan, and they’re a lot easier to handle.’

‘Yes, that’s just your way, Mr. Jerome, you’re al’ys a-findin’ faut wi’ my chany, because I bought it myself afore I was married. But let me tell you, I knowed how to choose chany if I didn’t know how to choose a husband. An’ where’s Lizzie? You’ve niver left her i’ the garden by herself, with her white frock on an’ clean stockins?’

‘Yes, that’s just how you are, Mr. Jerome, you’re always finding faults with my china because I bought it myself before I got married. But let me tell you, I knew how to choose china even if I didn’t know how to choose a husband. And where’s Lizzie? You haven’t left her in the garden all by herself, wearing her white dress and clean stockings?’

‘Be easy, my dear Susan, be easy; Lizzie’s come in wi’ Sally. She’s hevin’ her pinafore took off, I’ll be bound. Ah! there’s Mr. Tryan a-comin’ through the gate.’

‘Relax, my dear Susan, relax; Lizzie’s come in with Sally. She’s getting her apron taken off, I’m sure. Ah! there’s Mr. Tryan coming through the gate.’

Mrs. Jerome began hastily to adjust her damask napkin and the expression of her countenance for the reception of the clergyman, and Mr. Jerome went out to meet his guest, whom he greeted outside the door.

Mrs. Jerome quickly started to arrange her damask napkin and adjust her facial expression for the arrival of the clergyman, while Mr. Jerome stepped outside to welcome his guest, greeting him at the door.

‘Mr. Tryan, how do you do, Mr. Tryan? Welcome to the White House! I’m glad to see you, sir—I’m glad to see you.’

‘Mr. Tryan, how are you, Mr. Tryan? Welcome to the White House! I’m happy to see you, sir—I’m happy to see you.’

If you had heard the tone of mingled good-will, veneration, and condolence in which this greeting was uttered, even without seeing the face that completely harmonized with it, you would have no difficulty in inferring the ground-notes of Mr. Jerome’s character. To a fine ear that tone said as plainly as possible—‘Whatever recommends itself to me, Thomas Jerome, as piety and goodness, shall have my love and honour. Ah, friends, this pleasant world is a sad one, too, isn’t it? Let us help one another, let us help one another.’ And it was entirely owing to this basis of character, not at all from any clear and precise doctrinal discrimination, that Mr. Jerome had very early in life become a Dissenter. In his boyish days he had been thrown where Dissent seemed to have the balance of piety, purity, and good works on its side, and to become a Dissenter seemed to him identical with choosing God instead of mammon. That race of Dissenters is extinct in these days, when opinion has got far ahead of feeling, and every chapel-going youth can fill our ears with the advantages of the Voluntary system, the corruptions of a State Church, and the Scriptural evidence that the first Christians were Congregationalists. Mr. Jerome knew nothing of this theoretic basis for Dissent, and in the utmost extent of his polemical discussion he had not gone further than to question whether a Christian man was bound in conscience to distinguish Christmas and Easter by any peculiar observance beyond the eating of mince-pies and cheese-cakes. It seemed to him that all seasons were alike good for thanking God, departing from evil and doing well, whereas it might be desirable to restrict the period for indulging in unwholesome forms of pastry. Mr. Jerome’s dissent being of this simple, non-polemical kind, it is easy to understand that the report he heard of Mr. Tryan as a good man and a powerful preacher, who was stirring the hearts of the people, had been enough to attract him to the Paddiford Church, and that having felt himself more edified there than he had of late been under Mr. Stickney’s discourses at Salem, he had driven thither repeatedly in the Sunday afternoons, and had sought an opportunity of making Mr. Tryan’s acquaintance. The evening lecture was a subject of warm interest with him, and the opposition Mr. Tryan met with gave that interest a strong tinge of partisanship; for there was a store of irascibility in Mr. Jerome’s nature which must find a vent somewhere, and in so kindly and upright a man could only find it in indignation against those whom he held to be enemies of truth and goodness. Mr. Tryan had not hitherto been to the White House, but yesterday, meeting Mr. Jerome in the street, he had at once accepted the invitation to tea, saying there was something he wished to talk about. He appeared worn and fatigued now, and after shaking hands with Mrs. Jerome, threw himself into a chair and looked out on the pretty garden with an air of relief.

If you had heard the tone of mixed goodwill, respect, and sympathy in this greeting, even without seeing the face that perfectly matched it, you would easily be able to understand the core of Mr. Jerome’s character. To a discerning ear, that tone clearly conveyed—‘Whatever I, Thomas Jerome, see as piety and goodness will earn my love and respect. Ah, friends, this delightful world is also a sad one, isn't it? Let's help one another, let's help one another.’ It was entirely because of this foundational character trait, not due to any clear or specific doctrine, that Mr. Jerome became a Dissenter at an early age. In his youth, he found himself in an environment where Dissent appeared to embody piety, purity, and good deeds, and to him, becoming a Dissenter felt like choosing God over wealth. That type of Dissenter is no longer around, as opinion has now outpaced genuine feeling, and every chapel-going young person can fill our ears with the benefits of the Voluntary system, the issues with a State Church, and the Biblical proof that the first Christians were Congregationalists. Mr. Jerome was unaware of this theoretical basis for Dissent, and in his most extensive debates, he only questioned whether a Christian was obliged to distinguish Christmas and Easter with any special observance beyond enjoying mince pies and cheesecakes. He felt that all times were equally good for thanking God, turning away from evil, and doing good, although it might be wise to limit indulgence in unhealthy sweets. Since Mr. Jerome’s form of dissent was uncomplicated and non-argumentative, it’s easy to understand that hearing about Mr. Tryan as a good man and a powerful preacher, inspiring the people, was enough to draw him to the Paddiford Church. After feeling more uplifted there than he had been lately under Mr. Stickney’s sermons at Salem, he began going there repeatedly on Sunday afternoons and looked for a chance to meet Mr. Tryan. The evening lecture piqued his interest warmly, and the opposition Mr. Tryan faced added a touch of partisanship to that interest; there was a simmering frustration in Mr. Jerome that needed an outlet, which in such a kind and honorable man could only manifest as anger towards those he saw as enemies of truth and goodness. Mr. Tryan hadn’t been to the White House yet, but yesterday, when he met Mr. Jerome in the street, he immediately accepted the invitation for tea, saying he had something he wanted to discuss. He looked tired and worn out now, and after shaking hands with Mrs. Jerome, he sank into a chair and gazed out at the lovely garden with a sense of relief.

‘What a nice place you have here, Mr. Jerome! I’ve not seen anything so quiet and pretty since I came to Milby. On Paddiford Common, where I live, you know, the bushes are all sprinkled with soot, and there’s never any quiet except in the dead of night.’

‘What a lovely place you have here, Mr. Jerome! I haven’t seen anything so peaceful and beautiful since I came to Milby. On Paddiford Common, where I live, you know, the bushes are covered in soot, and there’s never any peace except in the dead of night.’

‘Dear heart! dear heart! That’s very bad—and for you, too, as hev to study. Wouldn’t it be better for you to be somewhere more out i’ the country like?’

‘Dear heart! dear heart! That’s really bad—and for you, too, since you have to study. Wouldn’t it be better for you to be out in the country somewhere?’

‘O no! I should lose so much time in going to and fro, and besides I like to be among the people. I’ve no face to go and preach resignation to those poor things in their smoky air and comfortless homes, when I come straight from every luxury myself. There are many things quite lawful for other men, which a clergyman must forego if he would do any good in a manufacturing population like this.’

‘Oh no! I would waste so much time going back and forth, and besides, I like to be with the people. I can't go and tell those poor folks in their smoky environment and uncomfortable homes to accept their situation when I come straight from a life of luxury myself. There are many things that are perfectly fine for other people, but a clergyman has to give them up if he wants to make a difference in a working-class community like this.’

Here the preparations for tea were crowned by the simultaneous appearance of Lizzie and the crumpet. It is a pretty surprise, when one visits an elderly couple, to see a little figure enter in a white frock with a blond head as smooth as satin, round blue eyes, and a cheek like an apple blossom. A toddling little girl is a centre of common feeling which makes the most dissimilar people understand each other; and Mr. Tryan looked at Lizzie with that quiet pleasure which is always genuine.

Here, the preparations for tea were highlighted by the simultaneous arrival of Lizzie and the crumpet. It's a lovely surprise when visiting an older couple to see a small figure walk in wearing a white dress, with a soft blond head, round blue eyes, and rosy cheeks. A little girl who is just starting to walk brings everyone together and helps even the most different people connect; and Mr. Tryan looked at Lizzie with that simple pleasure that is always sincere.

‘Here we are, here we are!’ said proud grandpapa. ‘You didn’t think we’d got such a little gell as this, did you, Mr. Tryan? Why, it seems but th’ other day since her mother was just such another. This is our little Lizzie, this is. Come an’ shake hands wi’ Mr. Tryan, Lizzie; come.’

‘Here we are, here we are!’ said proud grandpa. ‘You didn’t think we’d have such a little girl as this, did you, Mr. Tryan? It feels like just yesterday that her mom was this age too. This is our little Lizzie, this is. Come and shake hands with Mr. Tryan, Lizzie; come.’

Lizzie advanced without hesitation, and put out one hand, while she fingered her coral necklace with the other, and looked up into Mr. Tryan’s face with a reconnoitring gaze. He stroked the satin head, and said in his gentlest voice, ‘How do you do, Lizzie? will you give me a kiss?’ She put up her little bud of a mouth, and then retreating a little and glancing down at her frock, said,—‘Dit id my noo fock. I put it on ’tod you wad toming. Tally taid you wouldn’t ’ook at it.’

Lizzie moved forward confidently, extending one hand while fiddling with her coral necklace with the other. She looked up at Mr. Tryan with a thoughtful expression. He gently stroked her smooth head and said in his softest voice, “How are you, Lizzie? Will you give me a kiss?” She raised her small mouth to him, then pulled back slightly and glanced down at her dress, saying, “This is my new dress. I put it on because you were coming. Tally said you wouldn’t look at it.”

‘Hush, hush, Lizzie, little gells must be seen and not heard,’ said Mrs. Jerome; while grandpapa, winking significantly, and looking radiant with delight at Lizzie’s extraordinary promise of cleverness, set her up on her high cane-chair by the side of grandma, who lost no time in shielding the beauties of the new frock with a napkin.

‘Hush, hush, Lizzie, little girls should be seen and not heard,’ said Mrs. Jerome; while grandpa, winking knowingly and looking thrilled at Lizzie’s remarkable promise of intelligence, set her up on her high cane chair next to grandma, who quickly draped a napkin over the pretty details of the new dress.

‘Well now, Mr. Tryan,’ said Mr. Jerome, in a very serious tone, when tea had been distributed, ‘let me hear how you’re a-goin’ on about the lectur. When I was i’ the town yisterday, I heared as there was pessecutin’ schemes a-bein’ laid again’ you. I fear me those raskills ’ll mek things very onpleasant to you.’

‘Well now, Mr. Tryan,’ said Mr. Jerome in a very serious tone after tea had been served, ‘let me hear how things are going with the lecture. When I was in town yesterday, I heard that there were plots being made against you. I’m afraid those troublemakers will make things very unpleasant for you.’

‘I’ve no doubt they will attempt it; indeed, I quite expect there will be a regular mob got up on Sunday evening, as there was when the delegates returned, on purpose to annoy me and the congregation on our way to church.’

‘I have no doubt they will try it; in fact, I fully expect there will be a whole crowd gathered on Sunday evening, just like when the delegates came back, specifically to bother me and the congregation on our way to church.’

‘Ah, they’re capible o’ anything, such men as Dempster an’ Budd; an’ Tomlinson backs ’em wi’ money, though he can’t wi’ brains. Howiver, Dempster’s lost one client by his wicked doins, an’ I’m deceived if he won’t lose more nor one. I little thought, Mr. Tryan, when I put my affairs into his hands twenty ’ear ago this Michaelmas, as he was to turn out a pessecutor o’ religion. I niver lighted on a cliverer, promisiner young man nor he was then. They talked of his bein’ fond of a extry glass now an’ then, but niver nothin’ like what he’s come to since. An’ it’s head-piece you must look for in a lawyer, Mr. Tryan, it’s head-piece. His wife, too, was al’ys an uncommon favourite o’ mine—poor thing! I hear sad stories about her now. But she’s druv to it, she’s druv to it, Mr. Tryan. A tender-hearted woman to the poor, she is, as iver lived; an’ as pretty-spoken a woman as you need wish to talk to. Yes! I’d al’ys a likin’ for Dempster an’ his wife, spite o’ iverything. But as soon as iver I heared o’ that dilegate business, I says, says I, that man shall hev no more to do wi’ my affairs. It may put me t’ inconvenience, but I’ll encourage no man as pessecutes religion.’

“Ah, those guys like Dempster and Budd are capable of anything; and Tomlinson supports them with money, even though he lacks brains. However, Dempster’s already lost one client because of his wicked actions, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he loses more. I never imagined, Mr. Tryan, when I handed over my affairs to him twenty years ago this Michaelmas, that he would turn out to be a persecutor of religion. I’ve never come across a cleverer, more promising young man than he was back then. They used to say he liked an extra drink now and then, but nothing like what he’s become since. And it’s brains you should look for in a lawyer, Mr. Tryan, it’s brains. His wife was always a personal favorite of mine—poor thing! I hear sad stories about her now. But she’s been driven to it, she’s been driven to it, Mr. Tryan. A kind-hearted woman to the poor, she is, as ever lived; and as pleasant a woman as you could wish to talk to. Yes! I always liked Dempster and his wife, despite everything. But as soon as I heard about that delegate business, I said, I won’t let that man handle my affairs anymore. It might cause me some inconvenience, but I refuse to support anyone who persecutes religion.”

‘He is evidently the brain and hand of the persecution,’ said Mr. Tryan. ‘There may be a strong feeling against me in a large number of the inhabitants—it must be so from the great ignorance of spiritual things in this place. But I fancy there would have been no formal opposition to the lecture, if Dempster had not planned it. I am not myself the least alarmed at anything he can do; he will find I am not to be cowed or driven away by insult or personal danger. God has sent me to this place, and, by His blessing, I’ll not shrink from anything I may have to encounter in doing His work among the people. But I feel it right to call on all those who know the value of the Gospel, to stand by me publicly. I think—and Mr. Landor agrees with me—that it will be well for my friends to proceed with me in a body to the church on Sunday evening. Dempster, you know, has pretended that almost all the respectable inhabitants are opposed to the lecture. Now, I wish that falsehood to be visibly contradicted. What do you think of the plan? I have to-day been to see several of my friends, who will make a point of being there to accompany me, and will communicate with others on the subject.’

‘He’s clearly behind the persecution,’ said Mr. Tryan. ‘There might be a strong feeling against me among many of the residents—given the significant ignorance about spiritual matters in this place, that's expected. However, I believe there wouldn’t be any formal opposition to the lecture if Dempster hadn’t organized it. I’m not worried at all about what he can do; he’ll find that I won’t be intimidated or chased away by insults or threats. God sent me here, and with His blessing, I won’t shy away from any challenges I may face while doing His work among the people. But I think it’s important to ask everyone who values the Gospel to support me publicly. I believe—and Mr. Landor agrees—that it would be good for my friends to come to the church with me on Sunday evening. Dempster, as you know, has claimed that almost all the respectable residents oppose the lecture. I want that lie to be clearly disproven. What do you think of the plan? Today, I’ve spoken with several of my friends who will make it a point to be there with me and will reach out to others about it.’

‘I’ll mek one, Mr. Tryan, I’ll mek one. You shall not be wantin’ in any support as I can give. Before you come to it, sir, Milby was a dead an’ dark place; you are the fust man i’ the Church to my knowledge as has brought the word o’ God home to the people; an’ I’ll stan’ by you, sir, I’ll stan’ by you. I’m a Dissenter, Mr. Tryan; I’ve been a Dissenter ever sin’ I was fifteen ’ear old; but show me good i’ the Church, an’ I’m a Churchman too. When I was a boy I lived at Tilston; you mayn’t know the place; the best part o’ the land there belonged to Squire Sandeman; he’d a club-foot, had Squire Sandeman—lost a deal o’ money by canal shares. Well, sir, as I was sayin’, I lived at Tilston, an’ the rector there was a terrible drinkin’, fox-huntin’ man; you niver see’d such a parish i’ your time for wickedness; Milby’s nothin’ to it. Well, sir, my father was a workin’ man, an’ couldn’t afford to gi’ me ony eddication, so I went to a night-school as was kep by a Dissenter, one Jacob Wright; an’ it was from that man, sir, as I got my little schoolin’ an’ my knowledge o’ religion. I went to chapel wi’ Jacob—he was a good man was Jacob—an’ to chapel I’ve been iver since. But I’m no enemy o’ the Church, sir, when the Church brings light to the ignorant and the sinful; an’ that’s what you’re a-doin’, Mr. Tryan. Yes, sir, I’ll stan’ by you. I’ll go to church wi’ you o’ Sunday evenin’.’

‘I’ll make one, Mr. Tryan, I’ll make one. You won’t be lacking in any support I can provide. Before you arrived, sir, Milby was a dead and dark place; you’re the first person in the Church I know of who has brought the word of God to the people; and I’ll stand by you, sir, I’ll stand by you. I’m a Dissenter, Mr. Tryan; I’ve been a Dissenter ever since I was fifteen years old; but show me good in the Church, and I’m a Churchman too. When I was a boy, I lived in Tilston; you might not know the place; the best part of the land there belonged to Squire Sandeman; he had a club foot—lost a lot of money in canal shares. Well, sir, as I was saying, I lived in Tilston, and the rector there was a terrible drinker and fox hunter; you’ve never seen such wickedness in a parish in your time; Milby’s nothing compared to it. Well, sir, my father was a working man and couldn’t afford to give me any education, so I went to a night school run by a Dissenter, one Jacob Wright; and it was from that man, sir, that I got my little schooling and my understanding of religion. I attended chapel with Jacob—he was a good man, Jacob—and I’ve been going to chapel ever since. But I’m no enemy of the Church, sir, when the Church brings light to the ignorant and the sinful; and that’s what you’re doing, Mr. Tryan. Yes, sir, I’ll stand by you. I’ll go to church with you on Sunday evening.’

‘You’d far better stay at home, Mr. Jerome, if I may give my opinion,’ interposed Mrs. Jerome. ‘It’s not as I hevn’t ivery respect for you, Mr. Tryan, but Mr. Jerome ’ull do you no good by his interferin’. Dissenters are not at all looked on i’ Milby, an’ he’s as nervous as iver he can be; he’ll come back as ill as ill, an’ niver let me hev a wink o’ sleep all night.’

‘You’d be much better off staying home, Mr. Jerome, if I may offer my opinion,’ interjected Mrs. Jerome. ‘It’s not that I don’t have all possible respect for you, Mr. Tryan, but Mr. Jerome will only do you harm by getting involved. Dissenters are not looked upon favorably in Milby, and he’s as nervous as he can be; he’ll come back in a bad state, and I won’t get a wink of sleep all night.’

Mrs. Jerome had been frightened at the mention of a mob, and her retrospective regard for the religious communion of her youth by no means inspired her with the temper of a martyr. Her husband looked at her with an expression of tender and grieved remonstrance, which might have been that of the patient patriarch on the memorable occasion when he rebuked his wife.

Mrs. Jerome was scared when she heard about a mob, and her nostalgic feelings for the religious community of her youth certainly didn’t make her feel brave. Her husband looked at her with a mix of sympathy and sadness, much like the patient patriarch when he once confronted his wife.

‘Susan, Susan, let me beg on you not to oppose me, and put stumblin’-blocks i’ the way o’ doing’ what’s right. I can’t give up my conscience, let me give up what else I may.’

‘Susan, Susan, please don’t oppose me and throw obstacles in the way of doing what’s right. I can’t give up my conscience; you can make me give up anything else.’

‘Perhaps,’ said Mr. Tryan, feeling slightly uncomfortable, ‘since you are not very strong, my dear sir, it will be well, as Mrs. Jerome suggests, that you should not run the risk of any excitement.’

‘Maybe,’ said Mr. Tryan, feeling a bit uneasy, ‘since you're not very strong, my dear sir, it would be wise, as Mrs. Jerome suggests, for you to avoid any excitement.’

‘Say no more, Mr. Tryan. I’ll stan’ by you, sir. It’s my duty. It’s the cause o’ God, sir; it’s the cause o’ God.’

‘Say no more, Mr. Tryan. I’ll stand by you, sir. It’s my duty. It’s for the cause of God, sir; it’s for the cause of God.’

Mr. Tryan obeyed his impulse of admiration and gratitude, and put out his hand to the white-haired old man, saying, ‘Thank you, Mr. Jerome, thank you.’

Mr. Tryan followed his instinct of admiration and gratitude, reaching out his hand to the white-haired old man, saying, "Thank you, Mr. Jerome, thank you."

Mr. Jerome grasped the proffered hand in silence, and then threw himself back in his chair, casting a regretful look at his wife, which seemed to say, ‘Why don’t you feel with me, Susan?’

Mr. Jerome took the offered hand without saying a word, then leaned back in his chair, looking regretfully at his wife, as if to say, ‘Why don’t you understand how I feel, Susan?’

The sympathy of this simple-minded old man was more precious to Mr. Tryan than any mere onlooker could have imagined. To persons possessing a great deal of that facile psychology which prejudges individuals by means of formulæ, and casts them, without further trouble, into duly lettered pigeon-holes, the Evangelical curate might seem to be doing simply what all other men like to do—carrying out objects which were identified not only with his theory, which is but a kind of secondary egoism, but also with the primary egoism of his feelings. Opposition may become sweet to a man when he has christened it persecution: a self-obtrusive, over-hasty reformer complacently disclaiming all merit, while his friends call him a martyr, has not in reality a career the most arduous to the fleshly mind. But Mr. Tryan was not cast in the mould of the gratuitous martyr. With a power of persistence which had been often blamed as obstinacy, he had an acute sensibility to the very hatred or ridicule he did not flinch from provoking. Every form of disapproval jarred him painfully; and, though he fronted his opponents manfully, and often with considerable warmth of temper, he had no pugnacious pleasure in the contest. It was one of the weaknesses of his nature to be too keenly alive to every harsh wind of opinion; to wince under the frowns of the foolish; to be irritated by the injustice of those who could not possibly have the elements indispensable for judging him rightly; and with all this acute sensibility to blame, this dependence on sympathy, he had for years been constrained into a position of antagonism. No wonder, then, that good old Mr. Jerome’s cordial words were balm to him. He had often been thankful to an old woman for saying ‘God bless you’; to a little child for smiling at him; to a dog for submitting to be patted by him.

The compassion of this simple-minded old man meant more to Mr. Tryan than any casual observer could have imagined. For people who rely heavily on easy psychological shortcuts that label individuals and neatly categorize them, the Evangelical curate might seem to simply be doing what everyone else likes to do—pursuing goals that align not only with his beliefs, which reflect a kind of secondary self-interest, but also with the primary self-interest of his emotions. Opposition can feel gratifying to someone when they label it as persecution; a self-promoting, overly eager reformer might modestly downplay their efforts while their friends call them a martyr, but in truth, their journey is not the most challenging for a worldly mindset. However, Mr. Tryan was not the type to embrace martyrdom without cause. With a determination that was often criticized as stubbornness, he was deeply sensitive to the very hatred or ridicule he didn’t shy away from provoking. Any form of disapproval struck him painfully; and even though he faced his opponents bravely and often with considerable passion, he found no enjoyment in the fight. One of his vulnerabilities was being too sharply aware of every unkind opinion; he would flinch at the disapproval of the ignorant; he was bothered by the unfairness of those who lacked the understanding necessary to judge him fairly; and despite this keen sensitivity to criticism and his reliance on empathy, he had been forced into a position of opposition for years. So, it’s no surprise that kind old Mr. Jerome’s warm words felt like healing to him. He had often been grateful to an old woman for saying “God bless you”; to a little child for smiling at him; and to a dog for letting him pat it.

Tea being over by this time, Mr. Tryan proposed a walk in the garden as a means of dissipating all recollection of the recent conjugal dissidence. Little Lizzie’s appeal, ‘Me go, gandpa!’ could not be rejected, so she was duly bonneted and pinafored, and then they turned out into the evening sunshine. Not Mrs. Jerome, however; she had a deeply-meditated plan of retiring ad interim to the kitchen and washing up the best tea-things, as a mode of getting forward with the sadly-retarded business of the day.

Tea being finished by now, Mr. Tryan suggested a walk in the garden to help forget about the recent marital disagreement. Little Lizzie’s excited plea, “Me go, grandpa!” couldn’t be turned down, so she was properly dressed in her bonnet and pinafore, and then they stepped out into the evening sunshine. Not Mrs. Jerome, though; she had a carefully thought-out plan to temporarily retreat to the kitchen and clean the best tea set, as a way to make progress on the unfortunately delayed tasks of the day.

‘This way, Mr. Tryan, this way,’ said the old gentleman; ‘I must take you to my pastur fust, an’ show you our cow—the best milker i’ the county. An’ see here at these backbuildins, how convenent the dairy is; I planned it ivery bit myself. An’ here I’ve got my little carpenter’s shop an’ my blacksmith’s shop; I do no end o’ jobs here myself. I niver could bear to be idle, Mr. Tryan; I must al’ys be at somethin’ or other. It was time for me to lay by business an mek room for younger folks. I’d got money enough, wi’ only one daughter to leave it to, an’ I says to myself, says I, it’s time to leave off moitherin’ myself wi’ this world so much, an’ give more time to thinkin’ of another. But there’s a many hours atween getting up an’ lyin’ down, an’ thoughts are no cumber; you can move about wi’ a good many on ’em in your head. See, here’s the pastur.’

‘This way, Mr. Tryan, this way,’ said the old gentleman; ‘I must take you to my pasture first, and show you our cow—the best milker in the county. And look here at these outbuildings, how convenient the dairy is; I designed every bit of it myself. And here I’ve got my little carpenter’s shop and my blacksmith’s shop; I do a ton of jobs here myself. I could never stand being idle, Mr. Tryan; I always have to be doing something or other. It was time for me to step back from business and make room for younger folks. I had enough money, with only one daughter to leave it to, and I said to myself, it’s time to stop worrying so much about this world and spend more time thinking about the next. But there are many hours between getting up and lying down, and thoughts aren't a burden; you can carry quite a few of them in your head. Look, here’s the pasture.’

A very pretty pasture it was, where the large-spotted short-horned cow quietly chewed the cud as she lay and looked sleepily at her admirers—a daintily-trimmed hedge all round, dotted here and there with a mountain-ash or a cherry-tree.

A very pretty pasture it was, where the large-spotted short-horned cow quietly chewed her cud as she lay and looked sleepily at her admirers—a neatly trimmed hedge all around, dotted here and there with a mountain ash or a cherry tree.

‘I’ve a good bit more land besides this, worth your while to look at, but mayhap it’s further nor you’d like to walk now. Bless you! I’ve welly an’ acre o’ potato-ground yonders; I’ve a good big family to supply, you know.’ (Here Mr. Jerome winked and smiled significantly.) ‘An’ that puts me i’ mind, Mr. Tryan, o’ summat I wanted to say to you. Clergymen like you, I know, see a deal more poverty an’ that, than other folks, an’ hev a many claims on ’em more nor they can well meet; an’ if you’ll mek use o’ my purse any time, or let me know where I can be o’ any help, I’ll tek it very kind on you.’

“I have quite a bit more land besides this, and it would be worth your time to check it out, but it might be farther than you’d prefer to walk right now. Bless you! I have almost an acre of potato ground over there; I have a big family to feed, you know.” (Here Mr. Jerome winked and smiled meaningfully.) “And that reminds me, Mr. Tryan, of something I wanted to discuss with you. I know clergymen like you see a lot more poverty and such than others do, and you have many claims on your time that you can’t always meet; if you ever want to use my resources or let me know how I can help, I’d really appreciate it.”

‘Thank you, Mr. Jerome, I will do so, I promise you. I saw a sad case yesterday; a collier—a fine broad-chested fellow about thirty—was killed by the falling of a wall in the Paddiford colliery. I was in one of the cottages near, when they brought him home on a door, and the shriek of the wife has been ringing in my ears ever since. There are three little children. Happily the woman has her loom, so she will be able to keep out of the workhouse; but she looks very delicate.’

‘Thank you, Mr. Jerome, I will do that, I promise. I saw a tragic situation yesterday; a coal miner—a strong, broad-shouldered guy about thirty—was killed when a wall fell at the Paddiford colliery. I was in one of the nearby cottages when they brought him home on a door, and his wife's scream has been echoing in my ears ever since. They have three young kids. Thankfully, the woman has her loom, so she’ll be able to avoid the workhouse; but she looks very frail.’

‘Give me her name, Mr. Tryan,’ said Mr. Jerome, drawing out his pocket-book. ‘I’ll call an’ see her.’

‘Give me her name, Mr. Tryan,’ said Mr. Jerome, taking out his wallet. ‘I’ll go see her.’

Deep was the fountain of pity in the good old man’s heart! He often ate his dinner stintingly, oppressed by the thought that there were men, women, and children, with no dinner to sit down to, and would relieve his mind by going out in the afternoon to look for some need that he could supply, some honest struggle in which he could lend a helping hand. That any living being should want, was his chief sorrow; that any rational being should waste, was the next. Sally, indeed, having been scolded by master for a too lavish use of sticks in lighting the kitchen fire, and various instances of recklessness with regard to candle ends, considered him ‘as mean as aenythink;’ but he had as kindly a warmth as the morning sunlight, and, like the sunlight, his goodness shone on all that came in his way, from the saucy rosy-cheeked lad whom he delighted to make happy with a Christmas box, to the pallid sufferers up dim entries, languishing under the tardy death of want and misery.

Deep was the well of compassion in the old man’s heart! He often had a small dinner, weighed down by the thought that there were men, women, and children with no meal to sit down to. To ease his mind, he would go out in the afternoon looking for someone he could help, some honest struggle in which he could lend a hand. The idea that any living being should be in need was his greatest sorrow; that any rational being should waste was a close second. Sally, having been scolded by the master for using too many sticks to light the kitchen fire and for being careless with candle stubs, thought he was ‘as stingy as anything;’ but he had a warmth as kind as the morning sunlight, and like the sunlight, his goodness spread to everyone he encountered, from the cheeky rosy-cheeked boy he loved to make happy with a Christmas gift, to the pale sufferers in dark hallways, suffering from the slow death of want and misery.

It was very pleasant to Mr. Tryan to listen to the simple chat of the old man—to walk in the shade of the incomparable orchard, and hear the story of the crops yielded by the red-streaked apple-tree, and the quite embarrassing plentifulness of the summer-pears—to drink-in the sweet evening breath of the garden, as they sat in the alcove—and so, for a short interval, to feel the strain of his pastoral task relaxed.

It was very enjoyable for Mr. Tryan to listen to the old man’s simple conversation—to stroll in the shade of the beautiful orchard and hear about the harvest from the red-streaked apple tree and the overwhelming abundance of the summer pears—to soak in the sweet evening air of the garden while they sat in the alcove—and for a little while, to feel the pressure of his pastoral duties ease.

Perhaps he felt the return to that task through the dusty roads all the more painfully, perhaps something in that quiet shady home had reminded him of the time before he had taken on him the yoke of self-denial. The strongest heart will faint sometimes under the feeling that enemies are bitter, and that friends only know half its sorrows. The most resolute soul will now and then cast back a yearning look in treading the rough mountain-path, away from the greensward and laughing voices of the valley. However it was, in the nine o’clock twilight that evening, when Mr. Tryan had entered his small study and turned the key in the door, he threw himself into the chair before his writing-table, and, heedless of the papers there, leaned his face low on his hand, and moaned heavily.

Perhaps he felt the return to that task along the dusty roads even more painfully. Maybe something about that quiet, shady home reminded him of the time before he took on the burden of self-denial. The strongest heart can falter sometimes, feeling that enemies are harsh and that friends only understand half its sorrows. The most determined soul occasionally glances back longingly while walking the rough mountain path, away from the green grass and cheerful voices of the valley. Whatever the case, in the twilight of that evening at nine o’clock, when Mr. Tryan entered his small study and locked the door, he sank into the chair at his writing desk, disregarding the papers there, and rested his face in his hand, groaning heavily.

It is apt to be so in this life, I think. While we are coldly discussing a man’s career, sneering at his mistakes, blaming his rashness, and labelling his opinions—‘he is Evangelical and narrow’, or ‘Latitudinarian and Pantheistic’ or ‘Anglican and supercilious’—that man, in his solitude, is perhaps shedding hot tears because his sacrifice is a hard one, because strength and patience are failing him to speak the difficult word, and do the difficult deed.

It tends to be the case in this life, I believe. While we’re coolly critiquing a man’s career, mocking his mistakes, blaming his impulsiveness, and labeling his views—‘he’s Evangelical and narrow-minded,’ or ‘Latitudinarian and Pantheistic’ or ‘Anglican and arrogant’—that man, in his solitude, may be shedding tears because his sacrifice is hard, and his strength and patience are fading as he struggles to say the tough thing and do the difficult task.

Chapter 9

Mr. Tryan showed no such symptoms of weakness on the critical Sunday. He unhesitatingly rejected the suggestion that he should be taken to church in Mr. Landor’s carriage—a proposition which that gentleman made as an amendment on the original plan, when the rumours of meditated insult became alarming. Mr. Tryan declared he would have no precautions taken, but would simply trust in God and his good cause. Some of his more timid friends thought this conduct rather defiant than wise, and reflecting that a mob has great talents for impromptu, and that legal redress is imperfect satisfaction for having one’s head broken with a brickbat, were beginning to question their consciences very closely as to whether it was not a duty they owed to their families to stay at home on Sunday evening. These timorous persons, however, were in a small minority, and the generality of Mr. Tryan’s friends and hearers rather exulted in an opportunity of braving insult for the sake of a preacher to whom they were attached on personal as well as doctrinal grounds. Miss Pratt spoke of Cranmer, Ridley, and Latimer, and observed that the present crisis afforded an occasion for emulating their heroism even in these degenerate times; while less highly instructed persons, whose memories were not well stored with precedents, simply expressed their determination, as Mr. Jerome had done, to ‘stan’ by’ the preacher and his cause, believing it to be the ‘cause of God’.

Mr. Tryan showed no signs of weakness on that crucial Sunday. He confidently declined the suggestion that he should be taken to church in Mr. Landor’s carriage—a change that Mr. Landor proposed after rumors of a potential attack grew concerning. Mr. Tryan insisted that no precautions were necessary and that he would simply trust in God and his righteous cause. Some of his more cautious friends thought this attitude was more defiant than wise, and considering that a mob can be spontaneous, and that legal remedies don't provide true relief for getting one's head cracked with a brick, they began to seriously question whether it was their duty to stay home with their families that Sunday evening. However, these fearful individuals were a small minority, and most of Mr. Tryan's friends and supporters felt proud to face insult for the sake of a preacher they admired both personally and doctrinally. Miss Pratt referenced Cranmer, Ridley, and Latimer, noting that the current situation was a chance to emulate their bravery even in these less noble times; while others, who weren’t as well-versed in history, simply echoed Mr. Jerome’s resolve to ‘stand by’ the preacher and his cause, believing it to be the ‘cause of God’.

On Sunday evening, then, at a quarter past six, Mr. Tryan, setting out from Mr. Landor’s with a party of his friends who had assembled there, was soon joined by two other groups from Mr. Pratt’s and Mr. Dunn’s; and stray persons on their way to church naturally falling into rank behind this leading file, by the time they reached the entrance of Orchard Street, Mr. Tryan’s friends formed a considerable procession, walking three or four abreast. It was in Orchard Street, and towards the church gates, that the chief crowd was collected; and at Mr. Dempster’s drawing-room window, on the upper floor, a more select assembly of Anti-Tryanites were gathered to witness the entertaining spectacle of the Tryanites walking to church amidst the jeers and hootings of the crowd.

On Sunday evening, at a quarter past six, Mr. Tryan left Mr. Landor's with a group of friends who had gathered there. He quickly met up with two other groups coming from Mr. Pratt’s and Mr. Dunn’s. As other people on their way to church fell in behind this leading group, by the time they reached the entrance of Orchard Street, Mr. Tryan’s friends had formed a sizable procession, walking three or four abreast. The biggest crowd was at Orchard Street, near the church gates, where a more exclusive group of Anti-Tryan supporters gathered at Mr. Dempster’s drawing-room window on the upper floor to watch the entertaining scene of the Tryan supporters walking to church amid the jeers and boos from the crowd.

To prompt the popular wit with appropriate sobriquets, numerous copies of Mr. Dempster’s play-bill were posted on the walls, in suitably large and emphatic type. As it is possible that the most industrious collector of mural literature may not have been fortunate enough to possess himself of this production, which ought by all means to be preserved amongst the materials of our provincial religious history, I subjoin a faithful copy.

To get the popular crowd's attention with fitting nicknames, many copies of Mr. Dempster's playbill were put up on the walls in large, bold letters. Since it’s possible that the most dedicated collector of wall art might not have managed to get a copy of this production, which truly deserves to be saved as part of our local religious history, I'm including an exact copy.

GRAND ENTERTAINMENT!!!

Epic Entertainment!!!

To be given at Milby on Sunday evening next, by the
FAMOUS COMEDIAN, TRY-IT-ON!

To be presented at Milby next Sunday evening by the
FAMOUS COMEDIAN, TRY-IT-ON!

And his first-rate company, including not only an
UNPARALLELED CAST FOR COMEDY!

And his top-notch team, featuring not just an
UNMATCHED CAST FOR COMEDY!

But a Large Collection of reclaimed and converted Animals:

But a large collection of reclaimed and converted animals:

Among the rest
A Bear, who used to dance!
A Parrot, once given to swearing!!
A Polygamous Pig!!!
and
A Monkey who used to catch fleas on a Sunday!!!!
Together with a
Pair of regenerated LINNETS!
With an entirely new song, and plumage.

Among the rest
A Bear, who used to dance!
A Parrot, once known for swearing!!
A Polygamous Pig!!!
and
A Monkey who used to catch fleas on a Sunday!!!!
Together with a
Pair of regenerated LINNETS!
With a whole new song, and plumage.

MR. TRY-IT-ON
Will first pass through the streets, in procession, with his unrivalled Company warranted to have their eyes turned up higher, and the corners of their mouths turned down lower, than any other company of Mountebanks in this circuit!

MR. TRY-IT-ON
Will first walk through the streets in a parade with his unmatched Company, guaranteed to have their eyes looking up higher and the corners of their mouths turned down lower than any other group of Mountebanks in this area!

AFTER WHICH

AFTER THAT

The Theatre will be opened, and the entertainment will
commence at HALF-PAST SIX
When will be presented
A piece, never before performed on any stage, entitled

The theater will open, and the show will
start at 6:30 PM
What will be presented
A play, never before performed on any stage, titled

THE WOLF IN SHEEPS CLOTHING;
or
THE METHODIST IN A MASK

THE WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING;
or
THE METHODIST IN A MASK

Mr. Boanerges Soft Sawder, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON.
Old Ten-per-cent Godly, ... MR. GANDER.
Dr. Feedemup, ... MR. TONIC.
Mr. Lime-Twig Lady-winner, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON.
Miss Piety Bait-the-hook, ... MISS TONIC.
Angelica, ... MISS SERAPHINA TONIC.

After which
A miscellaneous Musical Interlude, commencing with
The Lamentations of Jerom-iah!
In nasal recitative.

After which
A random musical break, starting with
The Lamentations of Jerom-iah!
In a nasal style of singing.

To be followed by
The favourite Cackling Quartette,
by Two Hen-birds who are no chickens!
The well-known counter-tenor, Mr. Done, and a Gander,
lineally descended from the Goose that laid golden eggs!

To be followed by
The favorite Cackling Quartette,
by Two Hen-birds who are no chickens!
The well-known counter-tenor, Mr. Done, and a Gander,
lineally descended from the Goose that laid golden eggs!

To conclude with a
GRAND CHORUS by the
Entire Orchestra of Converted Animals!!

To wrap up with a
BIG CHORUS by the
Whole Orchestra of Transformed Animals!!

But owing to the unavoidable absence (from illness) of the Bulldog, who has left off fighting, Mr. Tonic has kindly undertaken, at a moment’s notice, to supply the ‘bark!

But due to the unavoidable absence (because of illness) of the Bulldog, who has stopped fighting, Mr. Tonic has generously stepped in, at a moment's notice, to provide the ‘bark!

The whole to conclude with a
Screaming Farce of
THE PULPIT SNATCHER

The whole thing wraps up with a
Screaming Farce of
THE PULPIT SNATCHER

Mr. Saintly Smooth-face, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON!
Mr. Worming Sneaker, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON!!
Mr. All-grace No-works, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON!!!
Mr. Elect-and-Chosen Apewell, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON!!!!
Mr. Malevolent Prayerful, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON!!!!!
Mr. Foist-himself Everywhere, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON!!!!!!
Mr. Flout-the-aged Upstart, ... MR. TRY-IT-ON!!!!!!!

Admission Free. A Collection will be made at the Doors.
Vivat Rex!

Admission is free. A Collection will be taken at the doors.
Long live the King!

This satire, though it presents the keenest edge of Milby wit, does not strike you as lacerating, I imagine. But hatred is like fire—it makes even light rubbish deadly. And Mr. Dempster’s sarcasms were not merely visible on the walls; they were reflected in the derisive glances, and audible in the jeering voices of the crowd. Through this pelting shower of nicknames and bad puns, with an ad libitum accompaniment of groans, howls, hisses, and hee-haws, but of no heavier missiles, Mr. Tryan walked pale and composed, giving his arm to old Mr. Landor, whose step was feeble. On the other side of him was Mr. Jerome, who still walked firmly, though his shoulders were slightly bowed.

This satire, while showcasing the sharpest wit of Milby, probably doesn't come off as too harsh. But hatred is like fire—it can turn even trivial things into something dangerous. Mr. Dempster's sarcasm wasn't just painted on the walls; it was seen in the mocking looks and heard in the taunting voices of the crowd. Through this downpour of nicknames and bad jokes, along with an ad libitum mix of groans, howls, hisses, and laughter, but no serious objects, Mr. Tryan walked pale and composed, linking arms with old Mr. Landor, whose steps were unsteady. On the other side, Mr. Jerome walked steadily, although his shoulders were a bit hunched.

Outwardly Mr. Tryan was composed, but inwardly he was suffering acutely from these tones of hatred and scorn. However strong his consciousness of right, he found it no stronger armour against such weapons as derisive glances and virulent words, than against stones and clubs: his conscience was in repose, but his sensibility was bruised.

Outwardly, Mr. Tryan appeared calm, but inside he was deeply hurt by those expressions of hatred and disdain. No matter how confident he felt in his sense of right, it provided him with no more protection against the sharpness of mocking looks and harsh words than stones and clubs would: his conscience was at rest, but his feelings were wounded.

Once more only did the Evangelical curate pass up Orchard Street followed by a train of friends; once more only was there a crowd assembled to witness his entrance through the church gates. But that second time no voice was heard above a whisper, and the whispers were words of sorrow and blessing. That second time, Janet Dempster was not looking on in scorn and merriment; her eyes were worn with grief and watching, and she was following her beloved friend and pastor to the grave.

Once again, the Evangelical curate walked up Orchard Street, followed by a group of friends; once again, a crowd gathered to see him enter through the church gates. But this time, no voice was raised above a whisper, and those whispers were filled with sadness and blessing. This time, Janet Dempster was not watching with scorn and laughter; her eyes were tired from grief and vigil, and she was following her dear friend and pastor to the grave.

Chapter 10

History, we know, is apt to repeat herself, and to foist very old incidents upon us with only a slight change of costume. From the time of Xerxes downwards, we have seen generals playing the braggadocio at the outset of their campaigns, and conquering the enemy with the greatest ease in after-dinner speeches. But events are apt to be in disgusting discrepancy with the anticipations of the most ingenious tacticians; the difficulties of the expedition are ridiculously at variance with able calculations; the enemy has the impudence not to fall into confusion as had been reasonably expected of him; the mind of the gallant general begins to be distracted by news of intrigues against him at home, and, notwithstanding the handsome compliments he paid to Providence as his undoubted patron before setting out, there seems every probability that the Te Deums will be all on the other side.

History, as we know, tends to repeat itself and brings us very old events with just a slight change of circumstances. Since the time of Xerxes, we've watched generals boast at the start of their campaigns and easily declare victory in after-dinner speeches. However, reality often clashes embarrassingly with the expectations of even the most clever strategists; the challenges of the mission completely contradict skilled forecasts; the enemy boldly refuses to fall into the chaos that was reasonably expected of them; the brave general’s mind starts to get distracted by reports of plots against him back home, and despite all the praise he gave to Providence as his obvious supporter before embarking, it seems highly likely that the Te Deums will be celebrated on the other side.

So it fell out with Mr. Dempster in his memorable campaign against the Tryanites. After all the premature triumph of the return from Elmstoke, the battle of the Evening Lecture had been lost; the enemy was in possession of the field; and the utmost hope remaining was, that by a harassing guerilla warfare he might be driven to evacuate the country.

So it happened with Mr. Dempster in his unforgettable campaign against the Tryanites. After the early victory of the return from Elmstoke, the battle of the Evening Lecture had been lost; the enemy was in control of the area; and the only hope left was that, through constant guerrilla tactics, he might be forced to leave the country.

For some time this sort of warfare was kept up with considerable spirit. The shafts of Milby ridicule were made more formidable by being poisoned with calumny; and very ugly stories, narrated with circumstantial minuteness, were soon in circulation concerning Mr. Tryan and his hearers, from which stories it was plainly deducible that Evangelicalism led by a necessary consequence to hypocritical indulgence in vice. Some old friendships were broken asunder, and there were near relations who felt that religious differences, unmitigated by any prospect of a legacy, were a sufficient ground for exhibiting their family antipathy. Mr. Budd harangued his workmen, and threatened them with dismissal if they or their families were known to attend the evening lecture; and Mr. Tomlinson, on discovering that his foreman was a rank Tryanite, blustered to a great extent, and would have cashiered that valuable functionary on the spot, if such a retributive procedure had not been inconvenient.

For a while, this kind of conflict persisted with a lot of energy. The jabs from Milby were made more powerful by being laced with lies; and soon, very ugly stories filled with specific details were circulating about Mr. Tryan and his audience, suggesting that Evangelicalism inevitably led to hypocritical indulgence in immorality. Some old friendships fell apart, and close relatives felt that religious disagreements, without the hope of any inheritance, were enough reason to show their family dislike. Mr. Budd lectured his workers and threatened to fire them if they or their families were found attending the evening lecture; and Mr. Tomlinson, upon finding out that his foreman was a staunch Tryan supporter, blustered significantly and would have fired that valuable employee immediately if it hadn’t been inconvenient.

On the whole, however, at the end of a few months, the balance of substantial loss was on the side of the Anti-Tryanites. Mr. Pratt, indeed, had lost a patient or two besides Mr. Dempster’s family; but as it was evident that Evangelicalism had not dried up the stream of his anecdote, or in the least altered his view of any lady’s constitution, it is probable that a change accompanied by so few outward and visible signs, was rather the pretext than the ground of his dismissal in those additional cases. Mr. Dunn was threatened with the loss of several good customers, Mrs. Phipps and Mrs. Lowme having set the example of ordering him to send in his bill; and the draper began to look forward to his next stock-taking with an anxiety which was but slightly mitigated by the parallel his wife suggested between his own case and that of Shadrach, Meshech, and Abednego, who were thrust into a burning fiery furnace. For, as he observed to her the next morning, with that perspicacity which belongs to the period of shaving, whereas their deliverance consisted in the fact that their linen and woollen goods were not consumed, his own deliverance lay in precisely the opposite result. But convenience, that admirable branch system from the main line of self-interest, makes us all fellow-helpers in spite of adverse resolutions. It is probable that no speculative or theological hatred would be ultimately strong enough to resist the persuasive power of convenience: that a latitudinarian baker, whose bread was honourably free from alum, would command the custom of any dyspeptic Puseyite; that an Arminian with the toothache would prefer a skilful Calvinistic dentist to a bungler stanch against the doctrines of Election and Final Perseverance, who would be likely to break the tooth in his head; and that a Plymouth Brother, who had a well furnished grocery shop in a favourable vicinage, would occasionally have the pleasure of furnishing sugar or vinegar to orthodox families that found themselves unexpectedly ‘out of’ those indispensable commodities. In this persuasive power of convenience lay Mr. Dunn’s ultimate security from martyrdom. His drapery was the best in Milby; the comfortable use and wont of procuring satisfactory articles at a moment’s notice proved too strong for Anti-Tryanite zeal; and the draper could soon look forward to his next stock-taking without the support of a Scriptural parallel.

Overall, after a few months, it was clear that the Anti-Tryanites faced significant losses. Mr. Pratt had indeed lost a patient or two, in addition to Mr. Dempster’s family; however, since it was evident that Evangelicalism hadn't stifled his storytelling or changed his view of any woman’s constitution, it's likely that a change with so few visible signs was more of an excuse than a real reason for his dismissal in those additional cases. Mr. Dunn faced the threat of losing several good customers, as Mrs. Phipps and Mrs. Lowme had set the precedent of asking him to send his bill; the draper began to dread his next inventory with only slight comfort from the comparison his wife made between his situation and that of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who were thrown into a blazing furnace. Because, as he pointed out to her the next morning, during his shaving routine, while their rescue came from the fact that their clothes weren’t burned, his own salvation lay in exactly the opposite outcome. But convenience, that amazing branch of self-interest, keeps us all complicit despite any opposing decisions. It's likely that no speculative or theological hatred would ultimately be strong enough to withstand the compelling force of convenience: that a baker who offered bread completely free of additives would win over any dyspeptic Puseyite; that an Arminian with a toothache would choose a skilled Calvinistic dentist over a clumsy one who dismisses the doctrines of Election and Final Perseverance and is likely to break a tooth; and that a Plymouth Brother running a well-stocked grocery shop in a good location would sometimes enjoy the business of orthodox families who found themselves unexpectedly short on essential items like sugar or vinegar. This persuasive force of convenience provided Mr. Dunn with his ultimate protection from martyrdom. His drapery was the best in Milby; the dependable practice of getting quality items at a moment’s notice proved too appealing for Anti-Tryanite fervor; and the draper could soon anticipate his next inventory without needing a Scriptural reference for support.

On the other hand, Mr. Dempster had lost his excellent client, Mr. Jerome—a loss which galled him out of proportion to the mere monetary deficit it represented. The attorney loved money, but he loved power still better. He had always been proud of having early won the confidence of a conventicle-goer, and of being able to ‘turn the prop of Salem round his thumb’. Like most other men, too, he had a certain kindness towards those who had employed him when he was only starting in life; and just as we do not like to part with an old weather-glass from our study, or a two-feet ruler that we have carried in our pocket ever since we began business, so Mr. Dempster did not like having to erase his old client’s name from the accustomed drawer in the bureau. Our habitual life is like a wall hung with pictures, which has been shone on by the suns of many years: take one of the pictures away, and it leaves a definite blank space, to which our eyes can never turn without a sensation of discomfort. Nay, the involuntary loss of any familiar object almost always brings a chill as from an evil omen; it seems to be the first finger-shadow of advancing death.

On the other hand, Mr. Dempster had lost his valued client, Mr. Jerome—a loss that affected him far more than just the financial hit it represented. The attorney loved money, but he loved power even more. He had always taken pride in earning the trust of a churchgoer early on, and being able to 'turn the prop of Salem around his thumb.' Like many others, he felt a certain fondness for those who had supported him when he was just starting out; just as we don't want to part with an old barometer from our study, or a two-foot ruler we've carried in our pocket since we began working, Mr. Dempster didn’t want to remove his former client's name from the familiar drawer in his desk. Our everyday life is like a wall filled with pictures, illuminated by years of sunlight: take one picture away, and it leaves a noticeable blank space, which our eyes will always return to with discomfort. In fact, losing any familiar object often brings an unsettling chill, as if it were a bad sign; it feels like the first shadow of impending loss.

From all these causes combined, Mr. Dempster could never think of his lost client without strong irritation, and the very sight of Mr. Jerome passing in the street was wormwood to him.

From all these reasons combined, Mr. Dempster could never think of his lost client without feeling strong irritation, and just seeing Mr. Jerome walking by in the street was unbearable for him.

One day, when the old gentleman was coming up Orchard Street on his roan mare, shaking the bridle, and tickling her flank with the whip as usual, though there was a perfect mutual understanding that she was not to quicken her pace, Janet happened to be on her own door-step, and he could not resist the temptation of stopping to speak to that ‘nice little woman’, as he always called her, though she was taller than all the rest of his feminine acquaintances. Janet, in spite of her disposition to take her husband’s part in all public matters, could bear no malice against her old friend; so they shook hands.

One day, as the old gentleman was riding up Orchard Street on his chestnut mare, shaking the reins and giving her a light tap on the side with his whip, even though they both understood that she wasn't supposed to speed up, Janet happened to be on her front porch. He couldn't resist the urge to stop and chat with that 'nice little woman,' as he always referred to her, even though she was taller than all of his other female friends. Despite her tendency to support her husband's views in public matters, Janet couldn't hold any grudges against her old friend, so they shook hands.

‘Well, Mrs. Dempster, I’m sorry to my heart not to see you sometimes, that I am,’ said Mr. Jerome, in a plaintive tone. ‘But if you’ve got any poor people as wants help, and you know’s deservin’, send ’em to me, send ’em to me, just the same.’

‘Well, Mrs. Dempster, I’m really sorry I don’t get to see you more often,’ said Mr. Jerome, sounding quite upset. ‘But if you have any needy people who deserve help, send them my way, send them my way, just the same.’

‘Thank you, Mr. Jerome, that I will. Good-bye.’

‘Thank you, Mr. Jerome, I will. Goodbye.’

Janet made the interview as short as she could, but it was not short enough to escape the observation of her husband, who, as she feared, was on his mid-day return from his office at the other end of the street, and this offence of hers, in speaking to Mr. Jerome, was the frequently recurring theme of Mr. Dempster’s objurgatory domestic eloquence.

Janet kept the interview as brief as possible, but it wasn’t brief enough to go unnoticed by her husband, who, as she dreaded, was on his way back from his office at the other end of the street. This incident of hers, talking to Mr. Jerome, was a recurring topic of Mr. Dempster’s angry rants at home.

Associating the loss of his old client with Mr. Tryan’s influence, Dempster began to know more distinctly why he hated the obnoxious curate. But a passionate hate, as well as a passionate love, demands some leisure and mental freedom. Persecution and revenge, like courtship and toadyism, will not prosper without a considerable expenditure of time and ingenuity, and these are not to spare with a man whose law-business and liver are both beginning to show unpleasant symptoms. Such was the disagreeable turn affairs were taking with Mr. Dempster, and, like the general distracted by home intrigues, he was too much harassed himself to lay ingenious plans for harassing the enemy.

Connecting the loss of his old client to Mr. Tryan’s influence, Dempster started to understand more clearly why he despised the annoying curate. But intense hate, just like intense love, requires some free time and mental space. Revenge and persecution, much like romance and flattery, won’t succeed without a significant investment of time and creativity, which a man whose law practice and health are both starting to show troubling signs can’t afford. That’s how poorly things were going for Mr. Dempster, and, like a general distracted by domestic issues, he was too overwhelmed himself to devise clever strategies to trouble his opponent.

Meanwhile, the evening lecture drew larger and larger congregations; not perhaps attracting many from that select aristocratic circle in which the Lowmes and Pittmans were predominant, but winning the larger proportion of Mr. Crewe’s morning and afternoon hearers, and thinning Mr. Stickney’s evening audiences at Salem. Evangelicalism was making its way in Milby, and gradually diffusing its subtle odour into chambers that were bolted and barred against it. The movement, like all other religious ‘revivals’, had a mixed effect. Religious ideas have the fate of melodies, which, once set afloat in the world, are taken up by all sorts of instruments, some of them woefully coarse, feeble, or out of tune, until people are in danger of crying out that the melody itself is detestable. It may be that some of Mr. Tryan’s hearers had gained a religious vocabulary rather than religious experience; that here and there a weaver’s wife, who, a few months before, had been simply a silly slattern, was converted into that more complex nuisance, a silly and sanctimonious slattern; that the old Adam, with the pertinacity of middle age, continued to tell fibs behind the counter, notwithstanding the new Adam’s addiction to Bible-reading and family prayer: that the children in the Paddiford Sunday school had their memories crammed with phrases about the blood of cleansing, imputed righteousness, and justification by faith alone, which an experience lying principally in chuck-farthing, hop-scotch, parental slappings, and longings after unattainable lollypop, served rather to darken than to illustrate; and that at Milby, in those distant days, as in all other times and places where the mental atmosphere is changing, and men are inhaling the stimulus of new ideas, folly often mistook itself for wisdom, ignorance gave itself airs of knowledge, and selfishness, turning its eyes upward, called itself religion.

Meanwhile, the evening lectures were drawing bigger and bigger crowds; they weren't really pulling in many from that exclusive upper class where the Lowmes and Pittmans held sway, but they were attracting a good number of Mr. Crewe’s morning and afternoon attendees, and making Mr. Stickney’s evening audiences at Salem smaller. Evangelicalism was spreading in Milby, gradually seeping into places that were tightly shut against it. Like all other religious 'revivals', this movement had mixed results. Religious ideas are like melodies that, once released into the world, get picked up by all sorts of instruments, some of them shockingly rough, weak, or out of tune, until people are tempted to claim that the melody itself is awful. It’s possible that some of Mr. Tryan’s listeners had picked up a religious vocabulary instead of actual religious experience; that here and there a weaver’s wife, who just months before had been a mere silly slattern, was transformed into that more complicated annoyance, a silly and self-righteous slattern; that the old self, stubborn as a middle-aged person, kept telling lies behind the counter, despite the new self’s love for reading the Bible and family prayer; that the kids in the Paddiford Sunday school had their heads filled with phrases about cleansing blood, imputed righteousness, and justification by faith alone, which, when shaped mostly by playing chuck-farthing, hop-scotch, parental smackings, and desires for unattainable lollipops, actually served to confuse rather than clarify; and that in Milby, back in those days, just like in all other times and places where the intellectual climate is shifting and people are absorbing the excitement of new ideas, foolishness often mistaken itself for wisdom, ignorance tried to act knowledgeable, and selfishness, looking up, called itself religion.

Nevertheless, Evangelicalism had brought into palpable existence and operation in Milby society that idea of duty, that recognition of something to be lived for beyond the mere satisfaction of self, which is to the moral life what the addition of a great central ganglion is to animal life. No man can begin to mould himself on a faith or an idea without rising to a higher order of experience: a principle of subordination, of self-mastery, has been introduced into his nature; he is no longer a mere bundle of impressions, desires, and impulses. Whatever might be the weaknesses of the ladies who pruned the luxuriance of their lace and ribbons, cut out garments for the poor, distributed tracts, quoted Scripture, and defined the true Gospel, they had learned this—that there was a divine work to be done in life, a rule of goodness higher than the opinion of their neighbours; and if the notion of a heaven in reserve for themselves was a little too prominent, yet the theory of fitness for that heaven consisted in purity of heart, in Christ-like compassion, in the subduing of selfish desires. They might give the name of piety to much that was only puritanic egoism; they might call many things sin that were not sin; but they had at least the feeling that sin was to be avoided and resisted, and colour-blindness, which may mistake drab for scarlet, is better than total blindness, which sees no distinction of colour at all. Miss Rebecca Linnet, in quiet attire, with a somewhat excessive solemnity of countenance, teaching at the Sunday school, visiting the poor, and striving after a standard of purity and goodness, had surely more moral loveliness than in those flaunting peony-days, when she had no other model than the costumes of the heroines in the circulating library. Miss Eliza Pratt, listening in rapt attention to Mr. Tryan’s evening lecture, no doubt found evangelical channels for vanity and egoism; but she was clearly in moral advance of Miss Phipps giggling under her feathers at old Mr. Crewe’s peculiarities of enunciation. And even elderly fathers and mothers, with minds, like Mrs. Linnet’s, too tough to imbibe much doctrine, were the better for having their hearts inclined towards the new preacher as a messenger from God. They became ashamed, perhaps, of their evil tempers, ashamed of their worldliness, ashamed of their trivial, futile past. The first condition of human goodness is something to love; the second, something to reverence. And this latter precious gift was brought to Milby by Mr. Tryan and Evangelicalism.

Nevertheless, Evangelicalism had made a tangible impact on Milby society by introducing the idea of duty, the understanding of something to live for beyond just personal satisfaction. This is to the moral life what the addition of a major nerve center is to living beings. No one can start to shape themselves around a belief or an idea without moving to a higher level of experience: a principle of discipline and self-control has been integrated into their character; they are no longer just a collection of thoughts, desires, and impulses. Regardless of the flaws of the women who trimmed their lace and ribbons, made clothes for the needy, handed out pamphlets, quoted the Scriptures, and defined the true Gospel, they learned one important thing—that there was meaningful work to be done in life, a standard of goodness that surpassed what others thought; and while their focus on having a place in heaven for themselves might have been a bit too pronounced, their idea of being fit for that heaven was based on purity of heart, Christ-like compassion, and overcoming selfish desires. They might have called many things piety that were really just puritanical self-interest; they might have labeled many non-sinful actions as sins; but at least they understood that sin should be avoided and resisted, and being somewhat misguided, which can confuse dullness for brilliance, is better than being completely blind to any distinction. Miss Rebecca Linnet, dressed modestly and wearing a slightly overly serious expression, teaching in Sunday school, visiting the poor, and striving for a standard of purity and goodness, certainly had more moral beauty than during those ostentatious days when her only role model was the attire of heroines in the library. Miss Eliza Pratt, captivated by Mr. Tryan’s evening lecture, likely found ways to express her vanity and self-importance within the evangelical context; however, she was clearly morally ahead of Miss Phipps, who was giggling at old Mr. Crewe’s way of speaking. Even older parents, with minds like Mrs. Linnet’s that were too stubborn to absorb much doctrine, benefitted from being open to the new preacher as a messenger from God. They might have felt embarrassed about their bad tempers, their worldliness, and their trivial, wasted past. The first requirement for human goodness is something to love; the second is something to respect. And this precious second gift was brought to Milby by Mr. Tryan and Evangelicalism.

Yes, the movement was good, though it had that mixture of folly and evil which often makes what is good an offence to feeble and fastidious minds, who want human actions and characters riddled through the sieve of their own ideas, before they can accord their sympathy or admiration. Such minds, I daresay, would have found Mr. Tryan’s character very much in need of that riddling process. The blessed work of helping the world forward, happily does not wait to be done by perfect men; and I should imagine that neither Luther nor John Bunyan, for example, would have satisfied the modern demand for an ideal hero, who believes nothing but what is true, feels nothing but what is exalted, and does nothing but what is graceful. The real heroes, of God’s making, are quite different: they have their natural heritage of love and conscience which they drew in with their mother’s milk; they know one or two of those deep spiritual truths which are only to be won by long wrestling with their own sins and their own sorrows; they have earned faith and strength so far as they have done genuine work; but the rest is dry barren theory, blank prejudice, vague hearsay. Their insight is blended with mere opinion; their sympathy is perhaps confined in narrow conduits of doctrine, instead of flowing forth with the freedom of a stream that blesses every weed in its course; obstinacy or self-assertion will often interfuse itself with their grandest impulses; and their very deeds of self-sacrifice are sometimes only the rebound of a passionate egoism. So it was with Mr. Tryan: and any one looking at him with the bird’s-eye glance of a critic might perhaps say that he made the mistake of identifying Christianity with a too narrow doctrinal system; that he saw God’s work too exclusively in antagonism to the world, the flesh, and the devil; that his intellectual culture was too limited—and so on; making Mr. Tryan the text for a wise discourse on the characteristics of the Evangelical school in his day.

Yes, the movement was good, although it had that mix of foolishness and evil that often makes what is good offensive to delicate and picky minds, who need to filter human actions and characters through their own ideas before they can show sympathy or admiration. I’d bet those kinds of minds would think Mr. Tryan’s character needed that filtration process. The important work of making the world better, thankfully, doesn’t have to be done by perfect people; and I imagine that neither Luther nor John Bunyan, for example, would meet today’s standards for an ideal hero—someone who believes only what is true, feels only what is noble, and does only what is graceful. The real heroes, created by God, are quite different: they inherit love and conscience with their mother’s milk; they understand a few deep spiritual truths that can only be gained by wrestling long with their own sins and sorrows; they've earned faith and strength through their genuine efforts, but the rest is just dry theory, empty prejudice, vague rumors. Their insight mixes with mere opinion; their sympathy might be restricted by rigid doctrines, rather than flowing freely like a stream that nourishes every plant in its path; stubbornness or self-assertion can often mix with their noblest impulses; and their acts of self-sacrifice sometimes simply reflect a passionate self-interest. So it was with Mr. Tryan: and anyone looking at him with the critical eye of a reviewer might say that he made the mistake of tying Christianity too closely to a narrow set of beliefs; that he saw God’s work primarily as opposing the world, the flesh, and the devil; that his intellectual background was too limited—and so on, using Mr. Tryan as a case study for a thoughtful discussion on the characteristics of the Evangelical movement in his time.

But I am not poised at that lofty height. I am on the level and in the press with him, as he struggles his way along the stony road, through the crowd of unloving fellow-men. He is stumbling, perhaps; his heart now beats fast with dread, now heavily with anguish; his eyes are sometimes dim with tears, which he makes haste to dash away; he pushes manfully on, with fluctuating faith and courage, with a sensitive failing body; at last he falls, the struggle is ended, and the crowd closes over the space he has left.

But I'm not up there on that high pedestal. I'm at ground level, right there with him as he trudges along the rough path, surrounded by a crowd of indifferent people. He’s stumbling at times; his heart races with fear, then weighs heavily with sorrow; his eyes are sometimes blurred with tears, which he quickly wipes away; he keeps pushing forward, with wavering faith and courage, despite his fragile body; finally, he collapses, the struggle is over, and the crowd fills the space he leaves behind.

‘One of the Evangelical clergy, a disciple of Venn,’ says the critic from his bird’s-eye station. ‘Not a remarkable specimen; the anatomy and habits of his species have been determined long ago.’

‘One of the Evangelical pastors, a follower of Venn,’ says the critic from his vantage point. ‘Not a remarkable example; the structure and behaviors of his kind have been figured out long ago.’

Yet surely, surely the only true knowledge of our fellow-man is that which enables us to feel with him—which gives us a fine ear for the heart-pulses that are beating under the mere clothes of circumstance and opinion. Our subtlest analysis of schools and sects must miss the essential truth, unless it be lit up by the love that sees in all forms of human thought and work, the life and death struggles of separate human beings.

Yet surely, the only real understanding of our fellow humans is the kind that allows us to empathize with them—one that gives us a keen sense of the emotions hidden beneath the surface of circumstances and opinions. Our most thorough analysis of groups and beliefs will always miss the core truth unless it is illuminated by the love that recognizes the struggles of individual human lives in all forms of thought and work.

Chapter 11

Mr. Tryan’s most unfriendly observers were obliged to admit that he gave himself no rest. Three sermons on Sunday, a night-school for young men on Tuesday, a cottage-lecture on Thursday, addresses to school-teachers, and catechizing of school-children, with pastoral visits, multiplying as his influence extended beyond his own district of Paddiford Common, would have been enough to tax severely the powers of a much stronger man. Mr. Pratt remonstrated with him on his imprudence, but could not prevail on him so far to economize time and strength as to keep a horse. On some ground or other, which his friends found difficult to explain to themselves, Mr. Tryan seemed bent on wearing himself out. His enemies were at no loss to account for such a course. The Evangelical curate’s selfishness was clearly of too bad a kind to exhibit itself after the ordinary manner of a sound, respectable selfishness. ‘He wants to get the reputation of a saint,’ said one; ‘He’s eaten up with spiritual pride,’ said another; ‘He’s got his eye on some fine living, and wants to creep up the Bishop’s sleeve,’ said a third.

Mr. Tryan’s most critical observers had to admit that he never took a break. Three sermons on Sunday, a night class for young men on Tuesday, a cottage meeting on Thursday, talks with school teachers, mentoring school kids, and an increasing number of pastoral visits as his influence reached beyond his own area of Paddiford Common would have been enough to challenge even a much stronger man. Mr. Pratt tried to reason with him about his recklessness but couldn’t convince him to save time and energy by getting a horse. For reasons that his friends found hard to understand, Mr. Tryan seemed determined to wear himself out. His enemies, however, had no trouble explaining his behavior. The Evangelical curate’s selfishness was clearly of a kind too bad to show itself in the usual way of respectable selfishness. “He wants to gain the reputation of a saint,” one said; “He’s consumed by spiritual pride,” said another; “He’s got his eyes on some good church position and wants to get in the Bishop’s good graces,” said a third.

Mr. Stickney, of Salem, who considered all voluntary discomfort as a remnant of the legal spirit, pronounced a severe condemnation on this self-neglect, and expressed his fear that Mr. Tryan was still far from having attained true Christian liberty. Good Mr. Jerome eagerly seized this doctrinal view of the subject as a means of enforcing the suggestions of his own benevolence; and one cloudy afternoon, in the end of November, he mounted his roan mare with the determination of riding to Paddiford and ‘arguying’ the point with Mr. Tryan.

Mr. Stickney from Salem, who believed that any voluntary discomfort was just an echo of outdated laws, strongly criticized this self-neglect and worried that Mr. Tryan was still far from achieving true Christian freedom. Good Mr. Jerome quickly took up this perspective as a way to promote his own kind-hearted ideas; and one overcast afternoon at the end of November, he got on his roan mare with the intent of riding to Paddiford to "argue" the issue with Mr. Tryan.

The old gentleman’s face looked very mournful as he rode along the dismal Paddiford lanes, between rows of grimy houses, darkened with hand-looms, while the black dust was whirled about him by the cold November wind. He was thinking of the object which had brought him on this afternoon ride, and his thoughts, according to his habit when alone, found vent every now and then in audible speech. It seemed to him, as his eyes rested on this scene of Mr. Tryan’s labours, that he could understand the clergyman’s self-privation without resorting to Mr. Stickney’s theory of defective spiritual enlightenment. Do not philosophic doctors tell us that we are unable to discern so much as a tree, except by an unconscious cunning which combines many past and separate sensations; that no one sense is independent of another, so that in the dark we can hardly taste a fricassee, or tell whether our pipe is alight or not, and the most intelligent boy, if accommodated with claws or hoofs instead of fingers, would be likely to remain on the lowest form? If so, it is easy to understand that our discernment of men’s motives must depend on the completeness of the elements we can bring from our own susceptibility and our own experience. See to it, friend, before you pronounce a too hasty judgement, that your own moral sensibilities are not of a hoofed or clawed character. The keenest eye will not serve, unless you have the delicate fingers, with their subtle nerve filaments, which elude scientific lenses, and lose themselves in the invisible world of human sensations.

The old man's face looked very sad as he rode along the bleak Paddiford lanes, flanked by dirty houses and overshadowed by hand-looms, while the cold November wind whipped up the black dust around him. He was thinking about the reason he took this afternoon ride, and, as was his habit when alone, he occasionally expressed his thoughts out loud. As he looked at the scene of Mr. Tryan’s work, he felt he could understand the clergyman’s self-denial without having to rely on Mr. Stickney’s idea of inadequate spiritual awareness. Don’t the philosophical experts tell us that we can't even recognize a tree without an unconscious skill that links many past and separate sensations? That no one sense stands alone, so in the dark, we can barely taste a dish or tell if our pipe is lit, and the smartest kid, if given claws or hooves instead of fingers, would likely end up at the bottom of the class? If that’s true, it’s easy to see that how we understand people’s motives depends on how complete the elements from our own sensitivity and experiences are. Be careful, my friend, before you jump to conclusions, that your own moral sensibilities aren’t like those of an animal. The sharpest eye won’t help unless you have the delicate fingers, with their sensitive nerve endings, which slip past scientific instruments and connect with the unseen world of human feelings.

As for Mr. Jerome, he drew the elements of his moral vision from the depths of his veneration and pity. If he himself felt so much for these poor things to whom life was so dim and meagre, what must the clergyman feel who had undertaken before God to be their shepherd?

As for Mr. Jerome, he derived the core of his moral beliefs from his deep respect and compassion. If he felt so strongly for these unfortunate souls whose lives were so bleak and scarce, what must the clergyman feel who had vowed before God to be their shepherd?

‘Ah!’ he whispered, interruptedly, ‘it’s too big a load for his conscience, poor man! He wants to mek himself their brother, like; can’t abide to preach to the fastin’ on a full stomach. Ah! he’s better nor we are, that’s it—he’s a deal better nor we are.’

‘Ah!’ he whispered, hesitantly, ‘it’s too much for his conscience, poor guy! He wants to make himself their brother, I guess; can’t stand preaching to the starving while he’s got a full stomach. Ah! he’s better than we are, that’s it—he’s a lot better than we are.’

Here Mr. Jerome shook his bridle violently, and looked up with an air of moral courage, as if Mr. Stickney had been present, and liable to take offence at this conclusion. A few minutes more brought him in front of Mrs. Wagstaff’s, where Mr. Tryan lodged. He had often been here before, so that the contrast between this ugly square brick house, with its shabby bit of grass-plot, stared at all round by cottage windows, and his own pretty white home, set in a paradise of orchard and garden and pasture was not new to him; but he felt it with fresh force to-day, as he slowly fastened his roan by the bridle to the wooden paling, and knocked at the door. Mr. Tryan was at home, and sent to request that Mr. Jerome would walk up into his study, as the fire was out in the parlour below.

Here Mr. Jerome shook his reins hard and glanced up with a sense of moral bravery, as if Mr. Stickney were watching and might take offense at this conclusion. A few minutes later, he arrived at Mrs. Wagstaff’s, where Mr. Tryan lived. He had been here often before, so the difference between this unattractive square brick house, with its shabby little grass patch surrounded by cottage windows, and his own lovely white home, nestled in a paradise of orchards, gardens, and pastures was familiar to him; but today he felt the contrast more intensely as he slowly tied his horse to the wooden fence and knocked on the door. Mr. Tryan was home and asked Mr. Jerome to come up to his study since the fire was out in the parlor below.

At the mention of a clergyman’s study, perhaps, your too active imagination conjures up a perfect snuggery, where the general air of comfort is rescued from a secular character by strong ecclesiastical suggestions in the shape of the furniture, the pattern of the carpet, and the prints on the wall; where, if a nap is taken, it is an easy-chair with a Gothic back, and the very feet rest on a warm and velvety simulation of church windows; where the pure art of rigorous English Protestantism smiles above the mantelpiece in the portrait of an eminent bishop, or a refined Anglican taste is indicated by a German print from Overbeck; where the walls are lined with choice divinity in sombre binding, and the light is softened by a screen of boughs with a grey church in the background.

At the mention of a clergyman’s study, you might imagine a cozy spot, where the overall comfort feels infused with strong religious vibes through the furniture, carpet design, and wall art; where, if someone takes a nap, it’s in a Gothic-style armchair, and their feet rest on a warm and plush cover resembling church windows; where the essence of strict English Protestantism looks down from above the fireplace in a portrait of a distinguished bishop, or refined Anglican taste is shown with a German print by Overbeck; where the walls are lined with carefully chosen theology books in dark covers, and the light is softened by branches with a gray church in the background.

But I must beg you to dismiss all such scenic prettiness, suitable as they may be to a clergyman’s character and complexion; for I have to confess that Mr. Tryan’s study was a very ugly little room indeed, with an ugly slapdash pattern on the walls, an ugly carpet on the floor, and an ugly view of cottage roofs and cabbage-gardens from the window. His own person, his writing table, and his bookcase, were the only objects in the room that had the slightest air of refinement; and the sole provision for comfort was a clumsy straight-backed arm-chair covered with faded chintz. The man who could live in such a room, unconstrained by poverty, must either have his vision fed from within by an intense passion, or he must have chosen that least attractive form of self-mortification which wears no haircloth and has no meagre days, but accepts the vulgar, the commonplace, and the ugly, whenever the highest duty seems to lie among them.

But I have to urge you to set aside all that scenic charm, no matter how fitting it may be for a clergyman's character and appearance; because I must admit that Mr. Tryan’s study was a very shabby little room, with a messy pattern on the walls, a worn carpet on the floor, and an unattractive view of cottage roofs and vegetable gardens from the window. His own appearance, his writing desk, and his bookcase were the only things in the room that had the slightest touch of refinement; and the only source of comfort was a clunky straight-backed armchair covered in faded chintz. The man who could live in such a room, without being held back by poverty, must either be fueled by a deep inner passion or have chosen that least appealing form of self-denial that doesn't bear any uncomfortable clothing or have any lean days, but embraces the ordinary, the mundane, and the ugly whenever the highest duty seems to lie among them.

‘Mr. Tryan, I hope you’ll excuse me disturbin’ on you,’ said Mr. Jerome. ‘But I’d summat partickler to say.’

‘Mr. Tryan, I hope you’ll forgive me for bothering you,’ said Mr. Jerome. ‘But I have something specific to discuss.’

‘You don’t disturb me at all, Mr. Jerome; I’m very glad to have a visit from you,’ said Mr. Tryan, shaking him heartily by the hand, and offering him the chintz-covered ‘easy’ chair; ‘it is some time since I’ve had an opportunity of seeing you, except on a Sunday.’

‘You’re not bothering me at all, Mr. Jerome; I’m really happy to have you here,’ said Mr. Tryan, shaking his hand warmly and offering him the chintz-covered ‘easy’ chair. ‘It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to see you, except on Sundays.’

‘Ah, sir! your time’s so taken up, I’m well aware o’ that; it’s not only what you hev to do, but it’s goin’ about from place to place; an’ you don’t keep a hoss, Mr. Tryan. You don’t take care enough o’ yourself—you don’t indeed, an’ that’s what I come to talk to y’ about.’

‘Ah, sir! I know you’re really busy; it’s not just what you have to do, but also running around from place to place; and you don’t have a horse, Mr. Tryan. You don’t take good enough care of yourself—you really don’t, and that’s what I wanted to discuss with you.’

‘That’s very good of you, Mr. Jerome; but I assure you I think walking does me no harm. It is rather a relief to me after speaking or writing. You know I have no great circuit to make. The farthest distance I have to walk is to Milby Church, and if ever I want a horse on a Sunday, I hire Radley’s, who lives not many hundred yards from me.’

‘That’s really kind of you, Mr. Jerome, but I promise you that walking does me no harm. It actually feels like a relief after talking or writing. You know I don’t have a long way to go. The farthest I have to walk is to Milby Church, and if I ever need a horse on a Sunday, I rent one from Radley’s, who lives just a few hundred yards from me.’

‘Well, but now! the winter’s comin’ on, an’ you’ll get wet i’ your feet, an’ Pratt tells me as your constitution’s dillicate, as anybody may see, for the matter o’ that, wi’out bein’ a doctor. An’ this is the light I look at it in, Mr. Tryan: who’s to fill up your place, if you was to be disabled, as I may say? Consider what a valyable life yours is. You’ve begun a great work i’ Milby, and so you might carry it on, if you’d your health and strength. The more care you take o’ yourself, the longer you’ll live, belike, God willing, to do good to your fellow-creaturs.’

‘Well, now! Winter’s coming, and you’ll get your feet wet, and Pratt says your health is delicate, as anyone can see without being a doctor. And this is how I see it, Mr. Tryan: who’s going to take your place if you were to be unable to work, I might add? Think about how valuable your life is. You’ve started an important project in Milby, and you could continue it if you had your health and strength. The more you take care of yourself, the longer you’ll live, hopefully, to do good for your fellow beings.’

‘Why, my dear Mr. Jerome, I think I should not be a long-lived man in any case; and if I were to take care of myself under the pretext of doing more good, I should very likely die and leave nothing done after all.’

‘Why, my dear Mr. Jerome, I don’t think I’ll live for very long anyway; and if I were to take care of myself while pretending to do more good, I’d probably end up dying and leave nothing accomplished after all.’

‘Well! but keepin’ a hoss wouldn’t hinder you from workin’. It ’ud help you to do more, though Pratt says as it’s usin’ your voice so constant as does you the most harm. Now, isn’t it—I’m no scholard, Mr. Tryan, an’ I’m not a-goin’ to dictate to you—but isn’t it a’most a-killin’ o’ yourself, to go on a’ that way beyond your strength? We mustn’t fling ower lives away.’

‘Well! But keeping a horse wouldn’t stop you from working. It would actually help you do more, even though Pratt says that using your voice so much is what harms you the most. Now, isn’t it—I’m no scholar, Mr. Tryan, and I’m not trying to tell you what to do—but isn’t it almost like you’re killing yourself by pushing beyond your limits? We shouldn’t be wasting our lives.’

‘No, not fling them away lightly, but we are permitted to lay down our lives in a right cause. There are many duties, as you know, Mr. Jerome, which stand before taking care of our own lives.’

‘No, we shouldn't just throw our lives away, but we are allowed to sacrifice ourselves for a good cause. There are many responsibilities, as you know, Mr. Jerome, that come before looking after our own lives.’

‘Ah! I can’t arguy wi’ you, Mr. Tryan; but what I wanted to say’s this—There’s my little chacenut hoss; I should take it quite a kindness if you’d hev him through the winter an’ ride him. I’ve thought o’ sellin’ him a many times, for Mrs. Jerome can’t abide him; and what do I want wi’ two nags? But I’m fond o’ the little chacenut, an’ I shouldn’t like to sell him. So if you’ll only ride him for me, you’ll do me a kindness—you will, indeed, Mr. Tryan.’

‘Ah! I can’t argue with you, Mr. Tryan; but what I wanted to say is this—There’s my little chestnut horse; I would really appreciate it if you’d take care of him through the winter and ride him. I’ve thought about selling him many times because Mrs. Jerome can’t stand him; and what do I need with two horses? But I’m fond of the little chestnut, and I really wouldn’t want to sell him. So if you’ll just ride him for me, you’d be doing me a favor—you really would, Mr. Tryan.’

‘Thank you, Mr. Jerome. I promise you to ask for him, when I feel that I want a nag. There is no man I would more gladly be indebted to than you; but at present I would rather not have a horse. I should ride him very little, and it would be an inconvenience to me to keep him rather than otherwise.’

‘Thank you, Mr. Jerome. I promise to ask for him when I feel like I need a nag. There's no one I’d rather owe a favor to than you; but right now, I’d prefer not to have a horse. I wouldn’t ride him much, and it would be more of a hassle for me to look after him than anything else.’

Mr. Jerome looked troubled and hesitating, as if he had something on his mind that would not readily shape itself into words. At last he said, ‘You’ll excuse me, Mr. Tryan, I wouldn’t be takin’ a liberty, but I know what great claims you hev on you as a clergyman. Is it th’ expense, Mr. Tryan? is it the money?’

Mr. Jerome looked worried and uncertain, as if he had something on his mind that he couldn't quite express. Finally, he said, “You’ll forgive me, Mr. Tryan, I don’t mean to overstep, but I know what a heavy responsibility you have as a clergyman. Is it the cost, Mr. Tryan? Is it the money?”

‘No, my dear sir. I have much more than a single man needs. My way of living is quite of my own choosing, and I am doing nothing but what I feel bound to do, quite apart from money considerations. We cannot judge for one another, you know; we have each our peculiar weaknesses and temptations. I quite admit that it might be right for another man to allow himself more luxuries, and I assure you I think it no superiority in myself to do without them. On the contrary, if my heart were less rebellious, and if I were less liable to temptation, I should not need that sort of self-denial. But,’ added Mr. Tryan, holding out his hand to Mr. Jerome, ‘I understand your kindness, and bless you for it. If I want a horse, I shall ask for the chesnut.’

‘No, my dear sir. I have much more than one person needs. My way of living is entirely my own choice, and I’m only doing what I feel I must do, separate from money concerns. We can’t judge each other, you know; we all have our own unique weaknesses and temptations. I fully admit that it might be right for someone else to indulge in more luxuries, and I don’t think it makes me superior to live without them. On the contrary, if my heart were less rebellious and I were less susceptible to temptation, I wouldn’t need that kind of self-restraint. But,’ added Mr. Tryan, extending his hand to Mr. Jerome, ‘I appreciate your kindness and thank you for it. If I want a horse, I’ll ask for the chestnut.’

Mr. Jerome was obliged to rest contented with this promise, and rode home sorrowfully, reproaching himself with not having said one thing he meant to say when setting out, and with having ‘clean forgot’ the arguments he had intended to quote from Mr. Stickney.

Mr. Jerome had to settle for this promise and rode home sadly, blaming himself for not saying everything he wanted to say when he set out, and for having completely forgotten the points he planned to bring up from Mr. Stickney.

Mr. Jerome’s was not the only mind that was seriously disturbed by the idea that the curate was over-working himself. There were tender women’s hearts in which anxiety about the state of his affections was beginning to be merged in anxiety about the state of his health. Miss Eliza Pratt had at one time passed through much sleepless cogitation on the possibility of Mr. Tryan’s being attached to some lady at a distance—at Laxeter, perhaps, where he had formerly held a curacy; and her fine eyes kept close watch lest any symptom of engaged affections on his part should escape her. It seemed an alarming fact that his handkerchiefs were beautifully marked with hair, until she reflected that he had an unmarried sister of whom he spoke with much affection as his father’s companion and comforter. Besides, Mr. Tryan had never paid any distant visit, except one for a few days to his father, and no hint escaped him of his intending to take a house, or change his mode of living. No! he could not be engaged, though he might have been disappointed. But this latter misfortune is one from which a devoted clergyman has been known to recover, by the aid of a fine pair of grey eyes that beam on him with affectionate reverence. Before Christmas, however, her cogitations began to take another turn. She heard her father say very confidently that ‘Tryan was consumptive, and if he didn’t take more care of himself, his life would not be worth a year’s purchase;’ and shame at having speculated on suppositions that were likely to prove so false, sent poor Miss Eliza’s feelings with all the stronger impetus into the one channel of sorrowful alarm at the prospect of losing the pastor who had opened to her a new life of piety and self-subjection. It is a sad weakness in us, after all, that the thought of a man’s death hallows him anew to us; as if life were not sacred too—as if it were comparatively a light thing to fail in love and reverence to the brother who has to climb the whole toilsome steep with us, and all our tears and tenderness were due to the one who is spared that hard journey.

Mr. Jerome wasn’t the only one deeply troubled by the thought that the curate was working too hard. There were caring women whose worries about his romantic life started blending with fears for his health. Miss Eliza Pratt spent many sleepless nights wondering if Mr. Tryan was involved with someone far away—perhaps in Laxeter, where he had previously held a curacy—and her keen eyes carefully observed him for any signs of a romantic attachment. It seemed alarming that his handkerchiefs were beautifully marked with hair until she remembered that he had an unmarried sister whom he spoke of fondly as his father’s companion and source of comfort. Besides, Mr. Tryan had only made one distant visit for a few days to see his father, and he hadn’t hinted at moving or changing his lifestyle. No! He couldn’t be engaged, though he might have faced disappointment. Yet, this is a setback that a devoted clergyman can recover from, especially with the support of a lovely pair of grey eyes that look at him with affectionate respect. Before Christmas, though, her thoughts began to shift. She overheard her father confidently say that “Tryan was consumptive, and if he didn’t take better care of himself, his life wouldn’t last a year;” and feeling ashamed for speculating on such unlikely scenarios sent Miss Eliza into a deeper worry about losing the pastor who had introduced her to a new life of faith and self-discipline. It’s a sad weakness in us, after all, that the thought of a man’s death makes us cherish him even more; as if life weren’t sacred too—as if it were somehow less significant to fail in love and respect for the brother who has to climb the arduous path alongside us, while all our empathy is reserved for the one spared from that difficult journey.

The Miss Linnets, too, were beginning to take a new view of the future, entirely uncoloured by jealousy of Miss Eliza Pratt.

The Miss Linnets were also starting to see the future in a new light, completely free of any jealousy towards Miss Eliza Pratt.

‘Did you notice,’ said Mary, one afternoon when Mrs. Pettifer was taking tea with them—‘did you notice that short dry cough of Mr. Tryan’s yesterday? I think he looks worse and worse every week, and I only wish I knew his sister; I would write to her about him. I’m sure something should be done to make him give up part of his work, and he will listen to no one here.’

‘Did you notice,’ said Mary, one afternoon when Mrs. Pettifer was having tea with them—‘did you notice that short, dry cough Mr. Tryan had yesterday? I think he looks worse and worse every week, and I really wish I knew his sister; I would write to her about him. I’m sure we need to do something to make him cut back on his work, and he won’t listen to anyone here.’

‘Ah,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘it’s a thousand pities his father and sister can’t come and live with him, if he isn’t to marry. But I wish with all my heart he could have taken to some nice woman as would have made a comfortable home for him. I used to think he might take to Eliza Pratt; she’s a good girl, and very pretty; but I see no likelihood of it now.’

‘Ah,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘it’s such a shame his father and sister can’t come and live with him if he isn’t going to marry. But I really wish he could have connected with a nice woman who would have created a comfortable home for him. I used to think he might be interested in Eliza Pratt; she’s a good girl and very pretty; but I don’t see any chance of that happening now.’

‘No, indeed,’ said Rebecca, with some emphasis: ‘Mr. Tryan’s heart is not for any woman to win; it is all given to his work; and I could never wish to see him with a young inexperienced wife who would be a drag on him instead of a helpmate.’

‘No, definitely not,’ said Rebecca, stressing her point: ‘Mr. Tryan’s heart isn't something any woman can win; it’s completely devoted to his work. I could never want to see him with a young, inexperienced wife who would hold him back instead of supporting him.’

‘He’d need have somebody, young or old,’ observed Mrs. Linnet, ‘to see as he wears a flannel wescoat, an’ changes his stockins when he comes in. It’s my opinion he’s got that cough wi’ sittin i’ wet shoes and stockins; an’ that Mrs. Wagstaff’s a poor addle-headed thing; she doesn’t half tek care on him.’

‘He needs someone, young or old,’ Mrs. Linnet noted, ‘to make sure he wears a flannel waistcoat and changes his socks when he comes in. I think he got that cough from sitting in wet shoes and socks; and that Mrs. Wagstaff is just a clueless one; she doesn’t take care of him nearly enough.’

‘O mother!’ said Rebecca, ‘she’s a very pious woman. And I’m sure she thinks it too great a privilege to have Mr. Tryan with her, not to do the best she can to make him comfortable. She can’t help her rooms being shabby.’

‘Oh mother!’ said Rebecca, ‘she’s a really devout woman. And I’m sure she thinks it’s such a privilege to have Mr. Tryan with her that she’ll do everything she can to make him comfortable. It’s not her fault her rooms are a bit worn out.’

‘I’ve nothing to say again’ her piety, my dear; but I know very well I shouldn’t like her to cook my victual. When a man comes in hungry an’ tired, piety won’t feed him, I reckon. Hard carrots ’ull lie heavy on his stomach, piety or no piety. I called in one day when she was dishin’ up Mr. Tryan’s dinner, an’ I could see the potatoes was as watery as watery. It’s right enough to be speritial—I’m no enemy to that; but I like my potatoes mealy. I don’t see as anybody ’ull go to heaven the sooner for not digestin’ their dinner—providin’ they don’t die sooner, as mayhap Mr. Tryan will, poor dear man!’

"I have nothing against her piety, my dear; but I know for sure I wouldn’t want her cooking my meals. When a man comes in hungry and tired, piety won’t fill him up, I suppose. Hard carrots will sit heavy in his stomach, piety or no piety. I dropped by one day when she was serving Mr. Tryan’s dinner, and I could see the potatoes were as watery as can be. It’s perfectly fine to be spiritual—I have nothing against that; but I prefer my potatoes fluffy. I don’t see how anyone will get to heaven any quicker by not digesting their dinner—unless, of course, they die sooner, like poor Mr. Tryan probably will!"

‘It will be a heavy day for us all when that comes to pass,’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘We shall never get anybody to fill up that gap. There’s the new clergyman that’s just come to Shepperton—Mr. Parry; I saw him the other day at Mrs. Bond’s. He may be a very good man, and a fine preacher; they say he is; but I thought to myself, What a difference between him and Mr. Tryan! He’s a sharp-sort-of-looking man, and hasn’t that feeling way with him that Mr. Tryan has. What is so wonderful to me in Mr. Tryan is the way he puts himself on a level with one, and talks to one like a brother. I’m never afraid of telling him anything. He never seems to look down on anybody. He knows how to lift up those that are cast down, if ever man did.’

‘It will be a tough day for all of us when that happens,’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘We’ll never find anyone to fill that gap. There’s the new clergyman who just arrived in Shepperton—Mr. Parry; I saw him the other day at Mrs. Bond’s. He might be a really good guy and a great preacher; people say he is; but I thought to myself, What a difference between him and Mr. Tryan! He’s got a sharp look about him and doesn’t have that warm, approachable nature that Mr. Tryan has. What amazes me about Mr. Tryan is how he puts himself on the same level as everyone and talks to you like a brother. I’m never afraid to tell him anything. He never seems to look down on anyone. He knows how to lift up those who are feeling low, if there ever was a man who could.’

‘Yes,’ said Mary. ‘And when I see all the faces turned up to him in Paddiford Church, I often think how hard it would be for any clergyman who had to come after him; he has made the people love him so.’

‘Yes,’ said Mary. ‘And when I see all the faces looking up at him in Paddiford Church, I often think about how tough it would be for any clergyman who follows him; he has made the people love him so.’

Chapter 12

In her occasional visits to her near neighbour Mrs. Pettifer, too old a friend to be shunned because she was a Tryanite, Janet was obliged sometimes to hear allusions to Mr. Tryan, and even to listen to his praises, which she usually met with playful incredulity.

In her occasional visits to her neighbor Mrs. Pettifer, who was too old a friend to avoid just because she was a Tryanite, Janet sometimes had to hear references to Mr. Tryan and even listen to his compliments, which she usually responded to with playful disbelief.

‘Ah, well,’ she answered one day, ‘I like dear old Mr. Crewe and his pipes a great deal better than your Mr. Tryan and his Gospel. When I was a little toddle, Mr. and Mrs. Crewe used to let me play about in their garden, and have a swing between the great elm-trees, because mother had no garden. I like people who are kind; kindness is my religion; and that’s the reason I like you, dear Mrs. Pettifer, though you are a Tryanite.’

‘Oh, well,’ she said one day, ‘I like dear old Mr. Crewe and his pipes a lot more than your Mr. Tryan and his Gospel. When I was little, Mr. and Mrs. Crewe would let me play in their garden and have a swing between the big elm trees, because my mom didn’t have a garden. I like people who are kind; kindness is my religion; and that’s why I like you, dear Mrs. Pettifer, even though you’re a Tryanite.’

‘But that’s Mr. Tryan’s religion too—at least partly. There’s nobody can give himself up more to doing good amongst the poor; and he thinks of their bodies too, as well as their souls.’

‘But that’s Mr. Tryan’s religion too—at least partly. No one can dedicate himself more to doing good among the poor; and he cares about their physical needs as well as their spiritual ones.’

‘O yes, yes; but then he talks about faith, and grace, and all that, making people believe they are better than others, and that God loves them more than He does the rest of the world. I know he has put a great deal of that into Sally Martin’s head, and it has done her no good at all. She was as nice, honest, patient a girl as need be before; and now she fancies she has new light and new wisdom. I don’t like those notions.’

‘Oh yes, yes; but then he talks about faith, and grace, and all that, making people think they're better than others, and that God loves them more than He loves the rest of the world. I know he's filled Sally Martin’s head with a lot of that, and it hasn’t done her any good. She was a nice, honest, patient girl before, and now she thinks she has new insight and wisdom. I don't like those ideas.’

‘You mistake him, indeed you do, my dear Mrs. Dempster; I wish you’d go and hear him preach.’

‘You're mistaken about him, really, my dear Mrs. Dempster; I wish you’d go and listen to him preach.’

‘Hear him preach! Why, you wicked woman, you would persuade me to disobey my husband, would you? O, shocking! I shall run away from you. Good-bye.’

‘Listen to him preach! How dare you, you wicked woman, try to convince me to disobey my husband? Oh, that's unbelievable! I'm going to get away from you. Goodbye.’

A few days after this conversation, however, Janet went to Sally Martin’s about three o’clock in the afternoon. The pudding that had been sent in for herself and ‘Mammy,’ struck her as just the sort of delicate morsel the poor consumptive girl would be likely to fancy, and in her usual impulsive way she had started up from the dinner table at once, put on her bonnet, and set off with a covered plateful to the neighbouring street. When she entered the house there was no one to be seen; but in the little sideroom where Sally lay, Janet heard a voice. It was one she had not heard before, but she immediately guessed it to be Mr. Tryan’s. Her first impulse was to set down her plate and go away, but Mrs. Martin might not be in, and then there would be no one to give Sally that delicious bit of pudding. So she stood still, and was obliged to hear what Mr. Tryan was saying. He was interrupted by one of the invalid’s violent fits of coughing.

A few days after that conversation, Janet went to Sally Martin’s around three in the afternoon. The pudding that had been sent in for her and ‘Mammy’ seemed like just the kind of delicate treat the poor sick girl would enjoy, and in her usual impulsive way, she jumped up from the dinner table, put on her bonnet, and headed out with a covered plateful to the nearby street. When she entered the house, no one was in sight; however, in the small side room where Sally lay, Janet heard a voice. It was one she hadn’t heard before, but she immediately guessed it was Mr. Tryan’s. Her first instinct was to put down her plate and leave, but Mrs. Martin might not be there, and then no one would be able to give Sally that delicious pudding. So she stood still and had to listen to what Mr. Tryan was saying. He was interrupted by one of the invalid’s violent coughing fits.

‘It is very hard to bear, is it not?’ he said when she was still again. ‘Yet God seems to support you under it wonderfully. Pray for me, Sally, that I may have strength too when the hour of great suffering comes. It is one of my worst weaknesses to shrink from bodily pain, and I think the time is perhaps not far off when I shall have to bear what you are bearing. But now I have tired you. We have talked enough. Good-bye.’

‘It’s really tough to handle, isn’t it?’ he said when she fell silent again. ‘Yet God seems to give you incredible strength to deal with it. Please pray for me, Sally, that I can also find strength when my time of great suffering arrives. One of my biggest weaknesses is my fear of physical pain, and I think the time might be coming soon when I’ll have to endure what you’re going through. But I’ve worn you out now. We’ve talked enough. Goodbye.’

Janet was surprised, and forgot her wish not to encounter Mr. Tryan: the tone and the words were so unlike what she had expected to hear. There was none of the self-satisfied unction of the teacher, quoting, or exhorting, or expounding, for the benefit of the hearer, but a simple appeal for help, a confession of weakness. Mr. Tryan had his deeply-felt troubles, then? Mr. Tryan, too, like herself, knew what it was to tremble at a foreseen trial—to shudder at an impending burthen, heavier than he felt able to bear?

Janet was surprised and forgot her wish to avoid Mr. Tryan; his tone and words were nothing like what she had expected to hear. There was none of the smug self-importance of a teacher who quotes, lectures, or explains for the listener's benefit, but rather a straightforward request for help, a confession of vulnerability. Mr. Tryan had his own deep troubles, then? Mr. Tryan, just like her, understood what it felt like to dread an upcoming challenge—to shudder at a looming burden that felt heavier than he could handle?

The most brilliant deed of virtue could not have inclined Janet’s good-will towards Mr. Tryan so much as this fellowship in suffering, and the softening thought was in her eyes when he appeared in the doorway, pale, weary, and depressed. The sight of Janet standing there with the entire absence of self-consciousness which belongs to a new and vivid impression, made him start and pause a little. Their eyes met, and they looked at each other gravely for a few moments. Then they bowed, and Mr. Tryan passed out.

The most impressive act of kindness couldn't have earned Janet's goodwill towards Mr. Tryan as much as this shared experience of suffering did, and the tender thought showed in her eyes when he appeared in the doorway, pale, tired, and downcast. Seeing Janet there, completely free of self-consciousness that comes with a new and strong impression, made him stop and hesitate for a moment. Their eyes met, and they looked at each other seriously for a few moments. Then they both nodded, and Mr. Tryan walked out.

There is a power in the direct glance of a sincere and loving human soul, which will do more to dissipate prejudice and kindle charity than the most elaborate arguments. The fullest exposition of Mr. Tryan’s doctrine might not have sufficed to convince Janet that he had not an odious self-complacency in believing himself a peculiar child of God; but one direct, pathetic look of his had dissociated him with that conception for ever.

There’s a power in the direct gaze of a sincere and loving human soul that can break down prejudice and spark kindness more effectively than the most complex arguments. Even the most detailed explanation of Mr. Tryan’s beliefs might not have been enough to convince Janet that he didn’t harbor an unpleasant sense of self-satisfaction in thinking of himself as a unique child of God; but one heartfelt, direct look from him completely separated her from that idea forever.

This happened late in the autumn, not long before Sally Martin died. Janet mentioned her new impression to no one, for she was afraid of arriving at a still more complete contradiction of her former ideas. We have all of us considerable regard for our past self, and are not fond of casting reflections on that respected individual by a total negation of his opinions. Janet could no longer think of Mr. Tryan without sympathy, but she still shrank from the idea of becoming his hearer and admirer. That was a reversal of the past which was as little accordant with her inclination as her circumstances.

This happened late in the autumn, not long before Sally Martin died. Janet didn’t share her new thoughts with anyone because she was scared of completely contradicting her previous beliefs. We all have a fair amount of respect for our past selves and don’t like to undermine that respected individual by completely denying their views. Janet could no longer think of Mr. Tryan without feeling sympathy, but she still hesitated at the thought of becoming one of his listeners and admirers. That was a shift from her past that didn’t align with her feelings or her situation.

And indeed this interview with Mr. Tryan was soon thrust into the background of poor Janet’s memory by the daily thickening miseries of her life.

And this interview with Mr. Tryan was quickly pushed into the background of poor Janet’s memory by the daily growing troubles of her life.

Chapter 13

The loss of Mr. Jerome as a client proved only the beginning of annoyances to Dempster. That old gentleman had in him the vigorous remnant of an energy and perseverance which had created his own fortune; and being, as I have hinted, given to chewing the cud of a righteous indignation with considerable relish, he was determined to carry on his retributive war against the persecuting attorney. Having some influence with Mr. Pryme, who was one of the most substantial ratepayers in the neighbouring parish of Dingley, and who had himself a complex and long-standing private account with Dempster, Mr. Jerome stirred up this gentleman to an investigation of some suspicious points in the attorney’s conduct of the parish affairs. The natural consequence was a personal quarrel between Dempster and Mr. Pryme; the client demanded his account, and then followed the old story of an exorbitant lawyer’s bill, with the unpleasant anti-climax of taxing.

The loss of Mr. Jerome as a client was just the start of Dempster's troubles. That old gentleman still had the strong remnants of the energy and determination that built his own fortune. As I mentioned, he enjoyed brooding over his sense of righteous indignation, and he was set on continuing his fight against the bullying lawyer. With some influence over Mr. Pryme, one of the main taxpayers in the nearby parish of Dingley, who also had a complicated and long-standing private account with Dempster, Mr. Jerome pushed this gentleman to look into some questionable aspects of the attorney’s management of parish affairs. Naturally, this led to a personal conflict between Dempster and Mr. Pryme; the client requested his account, and from there, it was the same old story of an outrageous lawyer’s bill, culminating in the unpleasant process of tax assessment.

These disagreeables, extending over many months, ran along side by side with the pressing business of Mr. Armstrong’s lawsuit, which was threatening to take a turn rather depreciatory of Dempster’s professional prevision; and it is not surprising that, being thus kept in a constant state of irritated excitement about his own affairs, he had little time for the further exhibition of his public spirit, or for rallying the forlorn hope of sound churchmanship against cant and hypocrisy. Not a few persons who had a grudge against him, began to remark, with satisfaction, that ‘Dempster’s luck was forsaking him’; particularly Mrs. Linnet, who thought she saw distinctly the gradual ripening of a providential scheme, whereby a just retribution would be wrought on the man who had deprived her of Pye’s Croft. On the other hand, Dempster’s well-satisfied clients, who were of opinion that the punishment of his wickedness might conveniently be deferred to another world, noticed with some concern that he was drinking more than ever, and that both his temper and his driving were becoming more furious. Unhappily those additional glasses of brandy, that exasperation of loud-tongued abuse, had other effects than any that entered into the contemplation of anxious clients: they were the little super-added symbols that were perpetually raising the sum of home misery.

These troubles, which lasted for many months, went hand in hand with the ongoing issues of Mr. Armstrong’s lawsuit, which threatened to undermine Dempster’s professional reputation. It's not surprising that, constantly stressed about his own problems, he had little time to focus on his public spirit or to rally support for honest church practices against pretentiousness and hypocrisy. Many people who held grudges against him began to comment, with satisfaction, that “Dempster’s luck was running out”; especially Mrs. Linnet, who believed she could see the divine plan unfolding that would bring fair punishment to the man who had taken Pye’s Croft from her. Meanwhile, Dempster’s satisfied clients, who thought that the consequences of his wrongdoings could be put off until the afterlife, noticed with some concern that he was drinking more than ever and that both his mood and his driving were becoming increasingly aggressive. Unfortunately, those extra drinks and the outbursts of loud insults had effects beyond what the worried clients could imagine: they were constant reminders that only added to the ongoing misery at home.

Poor Janet! how heavily the months rolled on for her, laden with fresh sorrows as the summer passed into autumn, the autumn into winter, and the winter into spring again. Every feverish morning, with its blank listlessness and despair, seemed more hateful than the last; every coming night more impossible to brave without arming herself in leaden stupor. The morning light brought no gladness to her: it seemed only to throw its glare on what had happened in the dim candle-light—on the cruel man seated immovable in drunken obstinacy by the dead fire and dying lights in the dining-room, rating her in harsh tones, reiterating old reproaches—or on a hideous blank of something unremembered, something that must have made that dark bruise on her shoulder, which aches as she dressed herself.

Poor Janet! The months dragged on for her, filled with new sorrows as summer turned into autumn, autumn into winter, and winter back into spring. Every restless morning, with its aimlessness and despair, felt more unbearable than the last; every approaching night seemed impossible to face without sinking into a heavy numbness. The morning light brought her no joy; it only highlighted what had happened in the dim candlelight—everything from the cruel man sitting stubbornly in drunkenness by the cold fire and dimming lights in the dining room, berating her in harsh tones, repeating old accusations, to a disturbing emptiness of something forgotten, something that must have caused that dark bruise on her shoulder, which throbbed as she got dressed.

Do you wonder how it was that things had come to this pass—what offence Janet had committed in the early years of marriage to rouse the brutal hatred of this man? The seeds of things are very small: the hours that lie between sunrise and the gloom of midnight are travelled through by tiniest markings of the clock: and Janet, looking back along the fifteen years of her married life, hardly knew how or where this total misery began; hardly knew when the sweet wedded love and hope that had set for ever had ceased to make a twilight of memory and relenting, before the on-coming of the utter dark.

Do you ever wonder how things got this bad—what did Janet do in the early years of her marriage to provoke this man’s brutal hatred? The beginnings of everything are often very small: the hours between sunrise and midnight are marked by the tiniest ticks of the clock. And as Janet reflects on the fifteen years of her married life, she barely understands how or when this complete misery started; she hardly knows when the sweet love and hope of their wedding day faded away, leaving only a dim memory before the total darkness set in.

Old Mrs. Dempster thought she saw the true beginning of it all in Janet’s want of housekeeping skill and exactness. ‘Janet,’ she said to herself, ‘was always running about doing things for other people, and neglecting her own house. That provokes a man: what use is it for a woman to be loving, and making a fuss with her husband, if she doesn’t take care and keep his home just as he likes it; if she isn’t at hand when he wants anything done; if she doesn’t attend to all his wishes, let them be as small as they may? That was what I did when I was a wife, though I didn’t make half so much fuss about loving my husband. Then, Janet had no children.’ ... Ah! there Mammy Dempster had touched a true spring, not perhaps of her son’s cruelty, but of half Janet’s misery. If she had had babes to rock to sleep—little ones to kneel in their night-dress and say their prayers at her knees—sweet boys and girls to put their young arms round her neck and kiss away her tears, her poor hungry heart would have been fed with strong love, and might never have needed that fiery poison to still its cravings. Mighty is the force of motherhood! says the great tragic poet to us across the ages, finding, as usual, the simplest words for the sublimest fact—δεινόν τὸ τίκτειν ἐστίν. It transforms all things by its vital heat: it turns timidity into fierce courage, and dreadless defiance into tremulous submission; it turns thoughtlessness into foresight, and yet stills all anxiety into calm content; it makes selfishness become self-denial, and gives even to hard vanity the glance of admiring love. Yes! if Janet had been a mother, she might have been saved from much sin, and therefore from much of her sorrow.

Old Mrs. Dempster believed she saw the real cause of it all in Janet's lack of housekeeping skills and precision. "Janet," she thought to herself, "is always running around doing things for other people and neglecting her own home. That frustrates a man: what good is it for a woman to be loving and fuss over her husband if she doesn’t take care to keep his home just the way he likes it; if she isn’t available when he needs something done; if she doesn’t pay attention to all his wishes, no matter how small? That’s what I did when I was a wife, even though I didn’t make as much fuss about loving my husband. And then, Janet didn’t have any children." ... Ah! There, Mammy Dempster had hit on a true point, not perhaps of her son’s cruelty, but of half of Janet’s misery. If she had had babies to rock to sleep—little ones to kneel in their nightgowns and say their prayers at her knees—sweet boys and girls to wrap their little arms around her neck and kiss away her tears, her poor hungry heart would have been filled with strong love and might never have needed that fiery poison to soothe its cravings. The power of motherhood is immense! says the great tragic poet to us across the ages, finding, as always, the simplest words for the most profound truth—δεινόν τὸ τίκτειν ἐστίν. It transforms everything with its vital energy: it converts timidity into fierce courage and fearless defiance into trembling submission; it changes thoughtlessness into foresight, yet still calms all anxiety into contentment; it turns selfishness into self-denial and even gives hard vanity the look of admiring love. Yes! If Janet had been a mother, she might have been saved from much sin, and therefore from much of her sorrow.

But do not believe that it was anything either present or wanting in poor Janet that formed the motive of her husband’s cruelty. Cruelty, like every other vice, requires no motive outside itself—it only requires opportunity. You do not suppose Dempster had any motive for drinking beyond the craving for drink; the presence of brandy was the only necessary condition. And an unloving, tyrannous, brutal man needs no motive to prompt his cruelty; he needs only the perpetual presence of a woman he can call his own. A whole park full of tame or timid-eyed animals to torment at his will would not serve him so well to glut his lust of torture; they could not feel as one woman does; they could not throw out the keen retort which whets the edge of hatred.

But don't think that there was anything lacking in poor Janet that caused her husband’s cruelty. Cruelty, like any other vice, needs no external motivation—it just needs an opportunity. You don’t really think Dempster had any reason to drink other than the urge for alcohol; the availability of brandy was the only essential factor. And a cold, controlling, brutal man doesn’t need a reason to be cruel; he just needs a woman he can claim as his own constantly around. A whole park full of tame or scared animals to torment wouldn’t satisfy him like a woman could; they couldn’t respond the way a woman does; they couldn’t offer the sharp retorts that fuel his hatred.

Janet’s bitterness would overflow in ready words; she was not to be made meek by cruelty; she would repent of nothing in the face of injustice, though she was subdued in a moment by a word or a look that recalled the old days of fondness; and in times of comparative calm would often recover her sweet woman’s habit of caressing playful affection. But such days were become rare, and poor Janet’s soul was kept like a vexed sea, tossed by a new storm before the old waves have fallen. Proud, angry resistance and sullen endurance were now almost the only alternations she knew. She would bear it all proudly to the world, but proudly towards him too; her woman’s weakness might shriek a cry for pity under a heavy blow, but voluntarily she would do nothing to mollify him, unless he first relented. What had she ever done to him but love him too well—but believe in him too foolishly? He had no pity on her tender flesh; he could strike the soft neck he had once asked to kiss. Yet she would not admit her wretchedness; she had married him blindly, and she would bear it out to the terrible end, whatever that might be. Better this misery than the blank that lay for her outside her married home.

Janet’s bitterness would come out in sharp words; she wouldn’t be made submissive by cruelty; she wouldn’t regret anything in the face of injustice, though she could be brought down in an instant by a word or a look that reminded her of the old days of affection. During calmer moments, she would sometimes regain her usual sweet, playful manner. But those days had become rare, and poor Janet’s spirit was like a restless sea, tossed about by new storms before the old waves had settled. Proud, angry defiance and sulky endurance were now nearly the only moods she knew. She would bear it all proudly in front of everyone, but she was proud towards him too; her womanly weakness might cry out for sympathy under a harsh blow, but she would never do anything to soften him unless he first showed some compassion. What had she ever done to him but love him too much and believe in him too naively? He showed her no mercy; he could strike the soft neck he once wanted to kiss. Yet she wouldn't admit her misery; she had married him without seeing clearly, and she would endure it to the bitter end, no matter what that might entail. This misery was better than the emptiness that awaited her outside her married home.

But there was one person who heard all the plaints and all the outbursts of bitterness and despair which Janet was never tempted to pour into any other ear; and alas! in her worst moments, Janet would throw out wild reproaches against that patient listener. For the wrong that rouses our angry passions finds only a medium in us; it passes through us like a vibration, and we inflict what we have suffered.

But there was one person who heard all the complaints and all the outbursts of bitterness and despair that Janet never felt inclined to share with anyone else; and unfortunately, in her worst moments, Janet would unleash wild accusations against that patient listener. The wrong that ignites our anger finds only a channel in us; it moves through us like a vibration, and we end up inflicting what we have endured.

Mrs. Raynor saw too clearly all through the winter that things were getting worse in Orchard Street. She had evidence enough of it in Janet’s visits to her; and, though her own visits to her daughter were so timed that she saw little of Dempster personally, she noticed many indications not only that he was drinking to greater excess, but that he was beginning to lose that physical power of supporting excess which had long been the admiration of such fine spirits as Mr. Tomlinson. It seemed as if Dempster had some consciousness of this—some new distrust of himself; for, before winter was over, it was observed that he had renounced his habit of driving out alone, and was never seen in his gig without a servant by his side.

Mrs. Raynor noticed all winter that things were getting worse on Orchard Street. She had plenty of proof in Janet’s visits to her; and although her own visits to her daughter were planned so she barely saw Dempster, she noticed many signs that not only was he drinking more heavily, but he was starting to lose that physical ability to handle his drinking that had long impressed people like Mr. Tomlinson. It seemed like Dempster was aware of this—some new self-doubt; for by the end of winter, it was noted that he had given up his habit of driving out alone and was never seen in his gig without a servant beside him.

Nemesis is lame, but she is of colossal stature, like the gods; and sometimes, while her sword is not yet unsheathed, she stretches out her huge left arm and grasps her victim. The mighty hand is invisible, but the victim totters under the dire clutch.

Nemesis is disabled, but she's gigantic, like the gods; and sometimes, while her sword isn't drawn yet, she extends her enormous left arm and grabs her victim. The mighty hand is unseen, but the victim sways under the terrifying grip.

The various symptoms that things were getting worse with the Dempsters afforded Milby gossip something new to say on an old subject. Mrs. Dempster, every one remarked, looked more miserable than ever, though she kept up the old pretence of being happy and satisfied. She was scarcely ever seen, as she used to be, going about on her good-natured errands; and even old Mrs. Crewe, who had always been wilfully blind to anything wrong in her favourite Janet, was obliged to admit that she had not seemed like herself lately. ‘The poor thing’s out of health,’ said the kind little old lady, in answer to all gossip about Janet; ‘her headaches always were bad, and I know what headaches are; why, they make one quite delirious sometimes.’ Mrs. Phipps, for her part, declared she would never accept an invitation to Dempster’s again; it was getting so very disagreeable to go there, Mrs. Dempster was often ‘so strange’. To be sure, there were dreadful stories about the way Dempster used his wife; but in Mrs. Phipps’s opinion, it was six of one and half-a-dozen of the other. Mrs. Dempster had never been like other women; she had always a flighty way with her, carrying parcels of snuff to old Mrs. Tooke, and going to drink tea with Mrs. Brinley, the carpenter’s wife; and then never taking care of her clothes, always wearing the same things week-day or Sunday. A man has a poor look-out with a wife of that sort. Mr. Phipps, amiable and laconic, wondered how it was women were so fond of running each other down.

The different signs that things were getting worse with the Dempsters gave Milby gossip something new to discuss about an old topic. Everyone noted that Mrs. Dempster looked more miserable than ever, even though she maintained the same act of being happy and satisfied. She was hardly ever seen anymore, as she used to be, running her good-natured errands; even old Mrs. Crewe, who had always ignored anything wrong with her favorite Janet, had to admit that Janet hadn't seemed like herself lately. “The poor thing’s not well,” said the kind little old lady, responding to the gossip about Janet; “her headaches have always been terrible, and I know what headaches are; they can make you feel completely out of it sometimes.” Mrs. Phipps, for her part, declared she would never accept another invitation to the Dempsters’ again; it was becoming so unpleasant to go there, as Mrs. Dempster was often ‘so strange.’ Of course, there were awful stories about how Dempster treated his wife, but in Mrs. Phipps's opinion, it was six of one and half-a-dozen of the other. Mrs. Dempster had never been like other women; she had always been a bit flighty, bringing parcels of snuff to old Mrs. Tooke and going to drink tea with Mrs. Brinley, the carpenter’s wife, without ever taking care of her clothes, always wearing the same things whether it was a weekday or Sunday. A man has a tough time with a wife like that. Mr. Phipps, easygoing and brief in speech, wondered why women liked to tear each other down so much.

Mr. Pratt having been called in provisionally to a patient of Mr. Pilgrim’s in a case of compound fracture, observed in a friendly colloquy with his brother surgeon the next day,—‘So Dempster has left off driving himself, I see; he won’t end with a broken neck after all. You’ll have a case of meningitis and delirium tremens instead.’

Mr. Pratt was called in temporarily to see one of Mr. Pilgrim’s patients with a compound fracture. The next day, while chatting with his fellow surgeon, he remarked, “Looks like Dempster has stopped driving himself; he won't end up with a broken neck after all. You'll instead have a case of meningitis and delirium tremens.”

‘Ah,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, ‘he can hardly stand it much longer at the rate he’s going on, one would think. He’s been confoundedly cut up about that business of Armstrong’s, I fancy. It may do him some harm, perhaps, but Dempster must have feathered his nest pretty well; he can afford to lose a little business.’

‘Ah,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, ‘he can barely handle it much longer at this pace, one would think. He’s been really upset about that Armstrong situation, I suspect. It might harm him a bit, but Dempster must have set himself up pretty well; he can afford to lose a little business.’

‘His business will outlast him, that’s pretty clear,’ said Pratt; ‘he’ll run down like a watch with a broken spring one of these days.’

‘It's pretty clear that his business will outlast him,’ said Pratt; ‘he'll wind down like a watch with a broken spring someday.’

Another prognostic of evil to Dempster came at the beginning of March. For then little ‘Mamsey’ died—died suddenly. The housemaid found her seated motionless in her arm-chair, her knitting fallen down, and the tortoise-shell cat reposing on it unreproved. The little white old woman had ended her wintry age of patient sorrow, believing to the last that ‘Robert might have been a good husband as he had been a good son.’

Another sign of trouble for Dempster came at the beginning of March. It was then that little ‘Mamsey’ passed away—she died suddenly. The housemaid found her sitting still in her armchair, her knitting fallen to the ground, with the tortoiseshell cat resting on it without a care. The little, elderly woman had finished her long, cold spell of patient sadness, convinced until the end that ‘Robert could have been a good husband just as he had been a good son.’

When the earth was thrown on Mamsey’s coffin, and the son, in crape scarf and hatband, turned away homeward, his good angel, lingering with outstretched wing on the edge of the grave, cast one despairing look after him, and took flight for ever.

When the dirt was placed on Mamsey’s coffin, and the son, wearing a black scarf and mourning band, walked away towards home, his guardian angel, hovering with its wings extended at the edge of the grave, shot him one last sorrowful glance before flying away for good.

Chapter 14

The last week in March—three weeks after old Mrs. Dempster died—occurred the unpleasant winding-up of affairs between Dempster and Mr. Pryme, and under this additional source of irritation the attorney’s diurnal drunkenness had taken on its most ill-tempered and brutal phase. On the Friday morning, before setting out for Rotherby, he told his wife that he had invited ‘four men’ to dinner at half-past six that evening. The previous night had been a terrible one for Janet, and when her husband broke his grim morning silence to say these few words, she was looking so blank and listless that he added in a loud sharp key, ‘Do you hear what I say? or must I tell the cook?’ She started, and said, ‘Yes, I hear.’

The last week of March—three weeks after old Mrs. Dempster died—was when the unpleasant business between Dempster and Mr. Pryme was wrapped up, and this extra source of stress had pushed the attorney’s daily drinking into its most irritable and brutal stage. On Friday morning, before heading out to Rotherby, he told his wife that he had invited "four men" to dinner at six-thirty that evening. The night before had been awful for Janet, and when her husband broke his grim morning silence to say these few words, she looked so blank and lifeless that he added sharply, "Do you hear what I'm saying? Or do I need to tell the cook?" She jumped, then replied, "Yes, I hear."

‘Then mind and have a dinner provided, and don’t go mooning about like crazy Jane.’

‘Then make sure to get dinner arranged, and don’t wander around acting all lost like crazy Jane.’

Half an hour afterwards Mrs. Raynor, quietly busy in her kitchen with her household labours—for she had only a little twelve-year-old girl as a servant—heard with trembling the rattling of the garden gate and the opening of the outer door. She knew the step, and in one short moment she lived beforehand through the coming scene. She hurried out of the kitchen, and there in the passage, as she had felt, stood Janet, her eyes worn as if by night-long watching, her dress careless, her step languid. No cheerful morning greeting to her mother—no kiss. She turned into the parlour, and, seating herself on the sofa opposite her mother’s chair, looked vacantly at the walls and furniture until the corners of her mouth began to tremble, and her dark eyes filled with tears that fell unwiped down her cheeks. The mother sat silently opposite to her, afraid to speak. She felt sure there was nothing new the matter—sure that the torrent of words would come sooner or later.

Half an hour later, Mrs. Raynor, busy in her kitchen with household chores—since she only had a small twelve-year-old girl as a helper—heard with anxiety the rattling of the garden gate and the sound of the outer door opening. She recognized the footsteps, and in a brief moment, she anticipated the upcoming scene. She rushed out of the kitchen, and there in the hallway, just as she expected, stood Janet, her eyes looking worn as if from a night of sleeplessness, her clothes disheveled, and her step sluggish. No cheerful morning greeting for her mother—no kiss. She walked into the living room, sat down on the sofa across from her mother’s chair, and stared blankly at the walls and furniture until the corners of her mouth began to quiver, and her dark eyes filled with tears that streamed down her cheeks, unwiped. The mother sat silently opposite her, hesitant to speak. She was certain there was nothing new going on—sure that the flood of words would come sooner or later.

‘Mother! why don’t you speak to me?’ Janet burst out at last; ‘you don’t care about my suffering; you are blaming me because I feel—because I am miserable.’

‘Mom! Why don’t you talk to me?’ Janet finally exclaimed; ‘you don’t care about what I’m going through; you’re blaming me for feeling—because I’m unhappy.’

‘My child, I am not blaming you—my heart is bleeding for you. Your head is bad this morning—you have had a bad night. Let me make you a cup of tea now. Perhaps you didn’t like your breakfast.’

‘My child, I’m not blaming you—my heart aches for you. You’re feeling off this morning—you didn’t sleep well last night. Let me make you a cup of tea now. Maybe you didn’t enjoy your breakfast.’

‘Yes, that is what you always think, mother. It is the old story, you think. You don’t ask me what it is I have had to bear. You are tired of hearing me. You are cruel, like the rest; every one is cruel in this world. Nothing but blame—blame—blame; never any pity. God is cruel to have sent me into the world to bear all this misery.’

‘Yes, that’s what you always think, Mom. It’s the same old story, right? You don’t ask me what I’ve had to go through. You’re tired of listening to me. You’re just as cruel as everyone else; everyone is cruel in this world. All I get is blame—blame—blame; never any pity. It feels so cruel of God to have sent me into this world to endure all this misery.’

‘Janet, Janet, don’t say so. It is not for us to judge; we must submit; we must be thankful for the gift of life.’

‘Janet, Janet, don’t say that. It’s not our place to judge; we have to accept; we should be grateful for the gift of life.’

‘Thankful for life! Why should I be thankful? God has made me with a heart to feel, and He has sent me nothing but misery. How could I help it? How could I know what would come? Why didn’t you tell me, mother?—why did you let me marry? You knew what brutes men could be; and there’s no help for me—no hope. I can’t kill myself; I’ve tried; but I can’t leave this world and go to another. There may be no pity for me there, as there is none here.’

‘Thankful for life! Why should I be thankful? God made me with a heart to feel, and He has sent me nothing but misery. How could I help it? How could I know what would happen? Why didn’t you tell me, mom?—why did you let me get married? You knew what brutes men could be; and there’s no help for me—no hope. I can’t kill myself; I’ve tried; but I can’t leave this world and go to another. There might be no pity for me there, just like there’s none here.’

‘Janet, my child, there is pity. Have I ever done anything but love you? And there is pity in God. Hasn’t He put pity into your heart for many a poor sufferer? Where did it come from, if not from Him?’

‘Janet, my child, there is compassion. Have I ever done anything but care for you? And there is compassion in God. Hasn’t He placed compassion in your heart for many a suffering soul? Where did it come from, if not from Him?’

Janet’s nervous irritation now broke out into sobs instead of complainings; and her mother was thankful, for after that crisis there would very likely come relenting, and tenderness, and comparative calm. She went out to make some tea, and when she returned with the tray in her hands, Janet had dried her eyes and now turned them towards her mother with a faint attempt to smile; but the poor face, in its sad blurred beauty, looked all the more piteous.

Janet’s nervous irritation now turned into sobs instead of complaints; and her mother was grateful, because after this breakdown, there would likely be some understanding, tenderness, and a bit of peace. She went to make some tea, and when she came back with the tray in her hands, Janet had dried her eyes and was now looking at her mother with a faint attempt to smile; but her poor face, with its sad blurred beauty, looked even more pitiable.

‘Mother will insist upon her tea,’ she said, ‘and I really think I can drink a cup. But I must go home directly, for there are people coming to dinner. Could you go with me and help me, mother?’

‘Mom will insist on having her tea,’ she said, ‘and I really think I can drink a cup. But I have to go home right away because we have people coming for dinner. Could you come with me and help me, Mom?’

Mrs. Raynor was always ready to do that. She went to Orchard Street with Janet, and remained with her through the day—comforted, as evening approached, to see her become more cheerful and willing to attend to her toilette. At half-past five everything was in order; Janet was dressed; and when the mother had kissed her and said good-bye, she could not help pausing a moment in sorrowful admiration at the tall rich figure, looking all the grander for the plainness of the deep mourning dress, and the noble face with its massy folds of black hair, made matronly by a simple white cap. Janet had that enduring beauty which belongs to pure majestic outline and depth of tint. Sorrow and neglect leave their traces on such beauty, but it thrills us to the last, like a glorious Greek temple, which, for all the loss it has suffered from time and barbarous hands, has gained a solemn history, and fills our imagination the more because it is incomplete to the sense.

Mrs. Raynor was always ready to help. She went to Orchard Street with Janet and stayed with her throughout the day—comforted as evening approached to see her become more cheerful and willing to get ready. By five-thirty, everything was set; Janet was dressed; and when her mother kissed her and said goodbye, she couldn't help but pause for a moment in sorrowful admiration at the tall, elegant figure, looking even grander in the simplicity of her deep mourning dress, with a noble face framed by thick black hair, made more matronly by a plain white cap. Janet had that enduring beauty that comes from a pure, majestic outline and rich color. Sorrow and neglect leave their marks on such beauty, but it captivates us until the end, like a magnificent Greek temple that, despite all it has lost to time and destructive hands, has gained a profound history and fills our imagination even more because it feels incomplete.

It was six o’clock before Dempster returned from Rotherby. He had evidently drunk a great deal, and was in an angry humour; but Janet, who had gathered some little courage and forbearance from the consciousness that she had done her best to-day, was determined to speak pleasantly to him.

It was six o’clock when Dempster came back from Rotherby. He had clearly been drinking a lot and was in a bad mood; but Janet, who had found some courage and patience knowing she had done her best today, was resolved to talk to him in a nice way.

‘Robert,’ she said gently, as she saw him seat himself in the dining-room in his dusty snuffy clothes, and take some documents out of his pocket, ‘will you not wash and change your dress? It will refresh you.’

‘Robert,’ she said gently, seeing him sit down in the dining room in his dusty, worn-out clothes and pull some documents out of his pocket, ‘won't you wash up and change your clothes? It will make you feel better.’

‘Leave me alone, will you?’ said Dempster, in his most brutal tone.

"Leave me alone, okay?" Dempster said, in his harshest tone.

‘Do change your coat and waistcoat, they are so dusty. I’ve laid all your things out ready.’

'Please change your coat and waistcoat; they're really dusty. I've laid out all your things for you.'

‘O, you have, have you?’ After a few minutes he rose very deliberately and walked up-stairs into his bedroom. Janet had often been scolded before for not laying out his clothes, and she thought now, not without some wonder, that this attention of hers had brought him to compliance.

‘Oh, you have, have you?’ After a few minutes, he got up slowly and went upstairs to his bedroom. Janet had often been told off before for not laying out his clothes, and she thought now, not without some surprise, that her attention had finally made him agree.

Presently he called out, ‘Janet!’ and she went up-stairs.

Presently he shouted, "Janet!" and she went upstairs.

‘Here! Take that!’ he said, as soon as she reached the door, flinging at her the coat she had laid out. ‘Another time, leave me to do as I please, will you?’

‘Here! Take that!’ he said, as soon as she got to the door, tossing the coat she had laid out at her. ‘Next time, let me do what I want, okay?’

The coat, flung with great force, only brushed her shoulder, and fell some distance within the drawing-room, the door of which stood open just opposite. She hastily retreated as she saw the waistcoat coming, and one by one the clothes she had laid out were all flung into the drawing-room.

The coat, thrown with a lot of force, just grazed her shoulder and landed a bit farther inside the living room, the door of which was wide open right across from her. She quickly moved back as she spotted the waistcoat coming her way, and one by one, all the clothes she had set out were tossed into the living room.

Janet’s face flushed with anger, and for the first time in her life her resentment overcame the long cherished pride that made her hide her griefs from the world. There are moments when by some strange impulse we contradict our past selves—fatal moments, when a fit of passion, like a lava stream, lays low the work of half our lives. Janet thought, ‘I will not pick up the clothes; they shall lie there until the visitors come, and he shall be ashamed of himself.’

Janet’s face turned red with anger, and for the first time in her life, her resentment overshadowed the pride she had always held onto that made her hide her pain from others. There are moments when, for some weird reason, we go against who we used to be—crucial moments, when a burst of emotion, like a flow of lava, destroys the effort of half our lives. Janet thought, ‘I’m not picking up the clothes; they can stay there until the guests arrive, and he will regret his actions.’

There was a knock at the door, and she made haste to seat herself in the drawing-room, lest the servant should enter and remove the clothes, which were lying half on the table and half on the ground. Mr. Lowme entered with a less familiar visitor, a client of Dempster’s, and the next moment Dempster himself came in.

There was a knock at the door, and she quickly sat down in the living room, so the servant wouldn’t come in and take away the clothes that were spread out half on the table and half on the floor. Mr. Lowme walked in with a less familiar visitor, a client of Dempster’s, and the next moment, Dempster himself came in.

His eye fell at once on the clothes, and then turned for an instant with a devilish glance of concentrated hatred on Janet, who, still flushed and excited, affected unconsciousness. After shaking hands with his visitors he immediately rang the bell.

His gaze landed on the clothes right away, then briefly shifted to Janet with a fierce look of intense hatred, while she, still blushing and excited, pretended not to notice. After greeting his visitors, he quickly rang the bell.

‘Take those clothes away,’ he said to the servant, not looking at Janet again.

‘Take those clothes away,’ he told the servant, not looking at Janet again.

During dinner, she kept up her assumed air of indifference, and tried to seem in high spirits, laughing and talking more than usual. In reality, she felt as if she had defied a wild beast within the four walls of his den, and he was crouching backward in preparation for his deadly spring. Dempster affected to take no notice of her, talked obstreperously, and drank steadily.

During dinner, she maintained her false façade of indifference, pretending to be in a great mood, laughing and talking more than usual. In reality, she felt like she had challenged a wild beast inside the confines of its den, and it was crouching back, ready to pounce. Dempster acted like he didn’t notice her, spoke loudly, and kept drinking.

About eleven the party dispersed, with the exception of Mr. Budd, who had joined them after dinner, and appeared disposed to stay drinking a little longer. Janet began to hope that he would stay long enough for Dempster to become heavy and stupid, and so to fall asleep down-stairs, which was a rare but occasional ending of his nights. She told the servants to sit up no longer, and she herself undressed and went to bed, trying to cheat her imagination into the belief that the day was ended for her. But when she lay down, she became more intensely awake than ever. Everything she had taken this evening seemed only to stimulate her senses and her apprehensions to new vividness. Her heart beat violently, and she heard every sound in the house.

About eleven, the party broke up, except for Mr. Budd, who had joined them after dinner and seemed willing to keep drinking a little longer. Janet started hoping he would hang around long enough for Dempster to get heavy and stupid, eventually falling asleep downstairs, which was a rare but occasional way for his nights to end. She told the servants not to stay up any longer, and she undressed and went to bed, trying to trick her mind into believing that her day was over. But when she lay down, she felt more awake than ever. Everything she had consumed that evening only heightened her senses and anxieties. Her heart raced, and she could hear every sound in the house.

At last, when it was twelve, she heard Mr. Budd go out; she heard the door slam. Dempster had not moved. Was he asleep? Would he forget? The minute seemed long, while, with a quickening pulse, she was on the stretch to catch every sound.

At last, when it hit twelve, she heard Mr. Budd leave; she heard the door slam. Dempster hadn’t moved. Was he asleep? Would he forget? The minute felt long as, with her heart racing, she was straining to catch every sound.

‘Janet!’ The loud jarring voice seemed to strike her like a hurled weapon.

‘Janet!’ The loud, jarring voice hit her like a thrown weapon.

‘Janet!’ he called again, moving out of the dining-room to the foot of the stairs.

‘Janet!’ he called again, stepping out of the dining room to the bottom of the stairs.

There was a pause of a minute.

There was a quick pause.

‘If you don’t come, I’ll kill you.’

‘If you don’t come, I’ll kill you.’

Another pause, and she heard him turn back into the dining-room. He was gone for a light—perhaps for a weapon. Perhaps he would kill her. Let him. Life was as hideous as death. For years she had been rushing on to some unknown but certain horror; and now she was close upon it. She was almost glad. She was in a state of flushed feverish defiance that neutralized her woman’s terrors.

Another pause, and she heard him head back into the dining room. He was gone for a light—maybe for a weapon. Maybe he would kill her. Let him. Life was as awful as death. For years, she had been rushing toward some unknown but inevitable horror; and now she was almost there. She felt a strange sense of relief. She was caught up in a heated, rebellious defiance that pushed aside her womanly fears.

She heard his heavy step on the stairs; she saw the slowly advancing light. Then she saw the tall massive figure, and the heavy face, now fierce with drunken rage. He had nothing but the candle in his hand. He set it down on the table, and advanced close to the bed.

She heard his loud footsteps on the stairs; she noticed the slowly approaching light. Then she saw the tall, solid figure and his heavy face, now twisted with drunken anger. He only had a candle in his hand. He placed it on the table and moved closer to the bed.

‘So you think you’ll defy me, do you? We’ll see how long that will last. Get up, madam; out of bed this instant!’

‘So you think you can defy me, huh? We’ll see how long that lasts. Get up, ma’am; out of bed right now!’

In the close presence of the dreadful man—of this huge crushing force, armed with savage will—poor Janet’s desperate defiance all forsook her, and her terrors came back. Trembling she got up, and stood helpless in her night-dress before her husband.

In the close presence of the terrifying man—this enormous, overpowering force, fueled by a wild determination—poor Janet completely lost her desperate courage, and her fears returned. Shaking, she got up and stood helpless in her nightgown before her husband.

He seized her with his heavy grasp by the shoulder, and pushed her before him.

He grabbed her firmly by the shoulder and pushed her in front of him.

‘I’ll cool your hot spirit for you! I’ll teach you to brave me!’

‘I’ll calm your fiery spirit for you! I’ll show you how to stand up to me!’

Slowly he pushed her along before him, down-stairs and through the passage, where a small oil-lamp was still flickering. What was he going to do to her? She thought every moment he was going to dash her before him on the ground. But she gave no scream—she only trembled.

Slowly, he urged her along in front of him, down the stairs and through the hallway, where a small oil lamp was still flickering. What was he planning to do to her? She thought that at any moment he would throw her to the ground. But she didn’t scream—she just trembled.

He pushed her on to the entrance, and held her firmly in his grasp while he lifted the latch of the door. Then he opened the door a little way, thrust her out, and slammed it behind her.

He shoved her toward the entrance and held her tightly while he lifted the latch on the door. Then he opened the door slightly, pushed her out, and slammed it shut behind her.

For a short space, it seemed like a deliverance to Janet. The harsh north-east wind, that blew through her thin night-dress, and sent her long heavy black hair streaming, seemed like the breath of pity after the grasp of that threatening monster. But soon the sense of release from an overpowering terror gave way before the sense of the fate that had really come upon her.

For a moment, it felt like a relief to Janet. The harsh north-east wind, which blew through her thin nightdress and sent her long, heavy black hair streaming, felt like a breath of compassion after the grip of that menacing monster. But soon, the feeling of escaping an overwhelming fear was replaced by the reality of the fate that had truly befallen her.

This, then, was what she had been travelling towards through her long years of misery! Not yet death. O! if she had been brave enough for it, death would have been better. The servants slept at the back of the house; it was impossible to make them hear, so that they might let her in again quietly, without her husband’s knowledge. And she would not have tried. He had thrust her out, and it should be for ever.

This was what she had been moving towards during her long years of suffering! Not yet death. Oh! If she had been brave enough for it, death would have been better. The servants were sleeping at the back of the house; it was impossible to make them hear, so they could let her in again quietly, without her husband knowing. And she wouldn't have tried. He had thrown her out, and it should be for good.

There would have been dead silence in Orchard Street but for the whistling of the wind and the swirling of the March dust on the pavement. Thick clouds covered the sky; every door was closed; every window was dark. No ray of light fell on the tall white figure that stood in lonely misery on the doorstep; no eye rested on Janet as she sank down on the cold stone, and looked into the dismal night. She seemed to be looking into her own blank future.

There would have been complete silence on Orchard Street if not for the whistling wind and the swirling March dust on the pavement. Thick clouds covered the sky; every door was shut; every window was dark. No ray of light shone on the tall white figure standing in lonely misery on the doorstep; no one noticed Janet as she sank down onto the cold stone and stared into the gloomy night. It was as if she was looking into her own empty future.

Chapter 15

The stony street, the bitter north-east wind and darkness—and in the midst of them a tender woman thrust out from her husband’s home in her thin night-dress, the harsh wind cutting her naked feet, and driving her long hair away from her half-clad bosom, where the poor heart is crushed with anguish and despair.

The rocky street, the cold north-east wind, and darkness—and right in the middle of it all, a vulnerable woman pushed out from her husband’s home in her lightweight nightgown, the biting wind stinging her bare feet and blowing her long hair away from her barely covered chest, where her heart is heavy with pain and hopelessness.

The drowning man, urged by the supreme agony, lives in an instant through all his happy and unhappy past: when the dark flood has fallen like a curtain, memory, in a single moment, sees the drama acted over again. And even in those earlier crises, which are but types of death—when we are cut off abruptly from the life we have known, when we can no longer expect to-morrow to resemble yesterday, and find ourselves by some sudden shock on the confines of the unknown—there is often the same sort of lightning-flash through the dark and unfrequented chambers of memory.

The drowning man, driven by intense pain, relives all the moments of his happy and unhappy past in an instant: when the dark water has descended like a curtain, memory allows him to see the drama unfold once again in a single moment. Even during those earlier crises, which resemble death—when we are suddenly cut off from the life we once knew, when we can no longer expect tomorrow to be like yesterday, and we find ourselves startled and on the brink of the unknown—there is often a similar lightning flash through the dark and rarely visited rooms of memory.

When Janet sat down shivering on the door-stone, with the door shut upon her past life, and the future black and unshapen before her as the night, the scenes of her childhood, her youth and her painful womanhood, rushed back upon her consciousness, and made one picture with her present desolation. The petted child taking her newest toy to bed with her—the young girl, proud in strength and beauty, dreaming that life was an easy thing, and that it was pitiful weakness to be unhappy—the bride, passing with trembling joy from the outer court to the inner sanctuary of woman’s life—the wife, beginning her initiation into sorrow, wounded, resenting, yet still hoping and forgiving—the poor bruised woman, seeking through weary years the one refuge of despair, oblivion:—Janet seemed to herself all these in the same moment that she was conscious of being seated on the cold stone under the shock of a new misery. All her early gladness, all her bright hopes and illusions, all her gifts of beauty and affection, served only to darken the riddle of her life; they were the betraying promises of a cruel destiny which had brought out those sweet blossoms only that the winds and storms might have a greater work of desolation, which had nursed her like a pet fawn into tenderness and fond expectation, only that she might feel a keener terror in the clutch of the panther. Her mother had sometimes said that troubles were sent to make us better and draw us nearer to God. What mockery that seemed to Janet! Her troubles had been sinking her lower from year to year, pressing upon her like heavy fever-laden vapours, and perverting the very plenitude of her nature into a deeper source of disease. Her wretchedness had been a perpetually tightening instrument of torture, which had gradually absorbed all the other sensibilities of her nature into the sense of pain and the maddened craving for relief. Oh, if some ray of hope, of pity, of consolation, would pierce through the horrible gloom, she might believe then in a Divine love—in a heavenly Father who cared for His children! But now she had no faith, no trust. There was nothing she could lean on in the wide world, for her mother was only a fellow-sufferer in her own lot. The poor patient woman could do little more than mourn with her daughter: she had humble resignation enough to sustain her own soul, but she could no more give comfort and fortitude to Janet, than the withered ivy-covered trunk can bear up its strong, full-boughed offspring crashing down under an Alpine storm. Janet felt she was alone: no human soul had measured her anguish, had understood her self-despair, had entered into her sorrows and her sins with that deep-sighted sympathy which is wiser than all blame, more potent than all reproof—such sympathy as had swelled her own heart for many a sufferer. And if there was any Divine Pity, she could not feel it; it kept aloof from her, it poured no balm into her wounds, it stretched out no hand to bear up her weak resolve, to fortify her fainting courage.

When Janet sat down shivering on the doorstep, with the door closed on her past life and the future dark and formless before her like the night, memories of her childhood, her youth, and her painful womanhood flooded back into her mind, merging into one picture with her present desolation. The spoiled child clutching her newest toy in bed—the young girl, confident in her strength and beauty, dreaming that life was easy and that it was a sign of weakness to be unhappy—the bride, nervously stepping from the outer world into the intimate space of womanhood—the wife, starting her journey into sorrow, hurt and resentful yet still hopeful and forgiving—the battered woman, seeking through long years the only refuge from despair, oblivion: Janet felt all these identities in the moment she was aware of sitting on the cold stone under the weight of a new misery. All her early happiness, her bright hopes and illusions, all her gifts of beauty and affection, only served to deepen the riddle of her life; they were the false promises of a cruel fate that had brought forth those sweet blossoms just so the winds and storms could wreak greater havoc, which had nurtured her like a cherished fawn into tenderness and hopeful expectations, only to make her face a sharper terror in the grip of a panther. Her mother had sometimes said that troubles were sent to make us better and draw us nearer to God. How mocking that seemed to Janet! Her troubles had been dragging her down year after year, pressing upon her like heavy, feverish clouds, twisting the very fullness of her spirit into a deeper source of pain. Her misery had been a constantly tightening instrument of torture, gradually absorbing all her other feelings into pain and the desperate longing for relief. Oh, if just a glimmer of hope, compassion, or comfort could break through the dreadful darkness, she might then believe in Divine love—in a heavenly Father who cared for His children! But now she had no faith, no trust. There was nothing she could rely on in the vast world, for her mother was merely a fellow-sufferer in her own plight. The poor, patient woman could do little more than mourn with her daughter: she had enough humble resignation to sustain her own spirit, but she could no more provide comfort and strength to Janet than a withered, ivy-covered trunk could support its strong, leafy offspring collapsing under an Alpine storm. Janet felt utterly alone: no human soul had understood her anguish, grasped her self-despair, or entered into her sorrows and sins with that profound sympathy which is wiser than all blame and more powerful than all reprimand—such sympathy that had filled her own heart for many a sufferer. And if there was any Divine Pity, she couldn't feel it; it stayed distant from her, offering no healing for her wounds, reaching out no hand to bolster her weak resolve, to strengthen her faltering courage.

Now, in her utmost loneliness, she shed no tear: she sat staring fixedly into the darkness, while inwardly she gazed at her own past, almost losing the sense that it was her own, or that she was anything more than a spectator at a strange and dreadful play.

Now, in her deepest loneliness, she didn't shed a tear: she sat staring intently into the darkness, while inside, she reflected on her own past, almost forgetting that it was her own or that she was anything more than a bystander at a strange and terrible show.

The loud sound of the church clock, striking one, startled her. She had not been there more than half an hour, then? And it seemed to her as if she had been there half the night. She was getting benumbed with cold. With that strong instinctive dread of pain and death which had made her recoil from suicide, she started up, and the disagreeable sensation of resting on her benumbed feet helped to recall her completely to the sense of the present. The wind was beginning to make rents in the clouds, and there came every now and then a dim light of stars that frightened her more than the darkness; it was like a cruel finger pointing her out in her wretchedness and humiliation; it made her shudder at the thought of the morning twilight. What could she do? Not go to her mother—not rouse her in the dead of night to tell her this. Her mother would think she was a spectre; it would be enough to kill her with horror. And the way there was so long ... if she should meet some one ... yet she must seek some shelter, somewhere to hide herself. Five doors off there was Mrs. Pettifer’s; that kind woman would take her in. It was of no use now to be proud and mind about the world’s knowing: she had nothing to wish for, nothing to care about; only she could not help shuddering at the thought of braving the morning light, there in the street—she was frightened at the thought of spending long hours in the cold. Life might mean anguish, might mean despair; but oh, she must clutch it, though with bleeding fingers; her feet must cling to the firm earth that the sunlight would revisit, not slip into the untried abyss, where she might long even for familiar pains.

The loud sound of the church clock striking one startled her. Had she really only been there for half an hour? It felt more like half the night. She was becoming numb from the cold. With that strong, instinctive fear of pain and death that had made her back away from suicide, she jumped up, and the uncomfortable sensation of resting on her numb feet snapped her back to the present. The wind started to tear through the clouds, and every now and then a dim light from the stars flickered, scaring her more than the darkness; it felt like a cruel finger pointing out her misery and humiliation, making her shudder at the thought of the morning twilight. What could she do? She couldn't go to her mother—not wake her in the middle of the night to tell her this. Her mother would think she was a ghost; it would be enough to terrify her to death. And the way there was so long... what if she ran into someone? Yet she had to find some shelter, somewhere to hide. Five doors down was Mrs. Pettifer; that kind woman would take her in. There was no point in being proud and worrying about what the world would think anymore: she had nothing to wish for, nothing to care about; only the thought of facing the morning light out on the street made her shudder—she was scared of spending long hours in the cold. Life might bring pain, might bring despair; but oh, she had to hold onto it, even with bleeding fingers; her feet had to cling to solid ground that the sunlight would return to, not slip into the unknown abyss, where she might even long for familiar suffering.

Janet trod slowly with her naked feet on the rough pavement, trembling at the fitful gleams of starlight, and supporting herself by the wall, as the gusts of wind drove right against her. The very wind was cruel: it tried to push her back from the door where she wanted to go and knock and ask for pity.

Janet walked slowly with her bare feet on the rough pavement, shivering at the flickering starlight, and leaning against the wall as the strong winds blasted against her. The wind was harsh: it seemed to push her away from the door where she wanted to go to knock and ask for mercy.

Mrs. Pettifer’s house did not look into Orchard Street: it stood a little way up a wide passage which opened into the street through an archway. Janet turned up the archway, and saw a faint light coming from Mrs. Pettifer’s bedroom window. The glimmer of a rushlight from a room where a friend was lying, was like a ray of mercy to Janet, after that long, long time of darkness and loneliness; it would not be so dreadful to awake Mrs. Pettifer as she had thought. Yet she lingered some minutes at the door before she gathered courage to knock; she felt as if the sound must betray her to others besides Mrs. Pettifer, though there was no other dwelling that opened into the passage—only warehouses and outbuildings. There was no gravel for her to throw up at the window, nothing but heavy pavement; there was no door-bell; she must knock. Her first rap was very timid—one feeble fall of the knocker; and then she stood still again for many minutes; but presently she rallied her courage and knocked several times together, not loudly, but rapidly, so that Mrs. Pettifer, if she only heard the sound, could not mistake it. And she had heard it, for by and by the casement of her window was opened, and Janet perceived that she was bending out to try and discern who it was at the door.

Mrs. Pettifer’s house didn’t face Orchard Street; it was set a bit further back in a wide passage that led out into the street through an archway. Janet walked up to the archway and saw a faint light coming from Mrs. Pettifer’s bedroom window. The soft glow of a rushlight from a room where a friend was resting felt like a ray of hope to Janet, after such a long period of darkness and loneliness; it wouldn't be as awful to wake Mrs. Pettifer as she had feared. Still, she lingered at the door for a few minutes, trying to gather the courage to knock; she felt like her knock would reveal her presence to others besides Mrs. Pettifer, even though no other homes opened into the passage—only warehouses and storage buildings. There was no gravel to toss up at the window, just a solid pavement; there wasn’t a doorbell; she had to knock. Her first tap was very soft—just a weak knock on the door; then she stood still again for several minutes. But soon she steeled herself and knocked several times in quick succession, not loudly, but fast, so that Mrs. Pettifer, if she heard it, would recognize the sound. And she had heard it, because after a while the window was opened, and Janet saw Mrs. Pettifer leaning out to see who was at the door.

‘It is I, Mrs. Pettifer; it is Janet Dempster. Take me in, for pity’s sake.’

‘It’s me, Mrs. Pettifer; it’s Janet Dempster. Please let me in, for goodness’ sake.’

‘Merciful God! what has happened?’

‘Oh my God! What happened?’

‘Robert has turned me out. I have been in the cold a long while.’

'Robert has kicked me out. I've been out in the cold for a while now.'

Mrs. Pettifer said no more, but hurried away from the window, and was soon at the door with a light in her hand.

Mrs. Pettifer said nothing else, but quickly left the window and was soon at the door with a light in her hand.

‘Come in, my poor dear, come in,’ said the good woman in a tremulous voice, drawing Janet within the door. ‘Come into my warm bed, and may God in heaven save and comfort you.’

‘Come in, my poor dear, come in,’ said the kind woman in a shaky voice, pulling Janet inside. ‘Come into my warm bed, and may God in heaven save and comfort you.’

The pitying eyes, the tender voice, the warm touch, caused a rush of new feeling in Janet. Her heart swelled, and she burst out suddenly, like a child, into loud passionate sobs. Mrs. Pettifer could not help crying with her, but she said, ‘Come up-stairs, my dear, come. Don’t linger in the cold.’

The sympathetic glances, gentle tone, and comforting touch stirred up new emotions in Janet. Her heart swelled, and she suddenly broke into loud, passionate sobs like a child. Mrs. Pettifer couldn’t help but cry with her, but she said, “Come upstairs, my dear, come. Don’t stay out in the cold.”

She drew the poor sobbing thing gently up-stairs, and persuaded her to get into the warm bed. But it was long before Janet could lie down. She sat leaning her head on her knees, convulsed by sobs, while the motherly woman covered her with clothes and held her arms round her to comfort her with warmth. At last the hysterical passion had exhausted itself, and she fell back on the pillow; but her throat was still agitated by piteous after-sobs, such as shake a little child even when it has found a refuge from its alarms on its mother’s lap.

She gently led the poor, sobbing girl upstairs and convinced her to get into the warm bed. But it took a long time for Janet to lie down. She sat there with her head resting on her knees, shaking with cries, while the caring woman covered her with blankets and wrapped her arms around her to provide comfort and warmth. Eventually, the intense emotion wore itself out, and she lay back on the pillow; however, her throat still trembled with sad after-sobs, like a little child even after finding safety from its fears in its mother’s lap.

Now Janet was getting quieter, Mrs. Pettifer determined to go down and make a cup of tea, the first thing a kind old woman thinks of as a solace and restorative under all calamities. Happily there was no danger of awaking her servant, a heavy girl of sixteen, who was snoring blissfully in the attic, and might be kept ignorant of the way in which Mrs. Dempster had come in. So Mrs. Pettifer busied herself with rousing the kitchen fire, which was kept in under a huge ‘raker’—a possibility by which the coal of the midland counties atones for all its slowness and white ashes.

Now Janet was getting quieter, so Mrs. Pettifer decided to go downstairs and make a cup of tea, the first thing a kind old woman thinks of as a comfort and pick-me-up during tough times. Luckily, there was no chance of waking her servant, a heavyset girl of sixteen, who was blissfully snoring in the attic and would remain unaware of how Mrs. Dempster had come in. So, Mrs. Pettifer occupied herself with stoking the kitchen fire, which was kept alive under a huge “raker”—a feature that allows the coal from the midlands to compensate for its slow-burning nature and white ash.

When she carried up the tea, Janet was lying quite still; the spasmodic agitation had ceased, and she seemed lost in thought; her eyes were fixed vacantly on the rushlight shade, and all the lines of sorrow were deepened in her face.

When she brought up the tea, Janet was lying very still; the sudden tremors had stopped, and she looked deep in thought; her eyes were blankly focused on the rushlight shade, and all the lines of sadness on her face were more pronounced.

‘Now, my dear,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘let me persuade you to drink a cup of tea; you’ll find it warm you and soothe you very much. Why, dear heart, your feet are like ice still. Now, do drink this tea, and I’ll wrap ’em up in flannel, and then they’ll get warm.’

‘Now, my dear,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, ‘let me convince you to have a cup of tea; you’ll find it warms you up and calms you down a lot. Why, sweetie, your feet are still like ice. Now, please drink this tea, and I’ll wrap them up in flannel, and then they’ll warm up.’

Janet turned her dark eyes on her old friend and stretched out her arms. She was too much oppressed to say anything; her suffering lay like a heavy weight on her power of speech; but she wanted to kiss the good kind woman. Mrs. Pettifer, setting down the cup, bent towards the sad beautiful face, and Janet kissed her with earnest sacramental kisses—such kisses as seal a new and closer bond between the helper and the helped.

Janet turned her dark eyes towards her old friend and reached out her arms. She felt too overwhelmed to say anything; her pain felt like a heavy weight on her ability to speak, but she wanted to kiss the kind woman. Mrs. Pettifer, putting down the cup, leaned in towards the sorrowful, beautiful face, and Janet kissed her with sincere, meaningful kisses—those special kisses that seal a new and closer bond between the one who gives help and the one who receives it.

She drank the tea obediently. ‘It does warm me,’ she said. ‘But now you will get into bed. I shall lie still now.’

She drank the tea without hesitation. ‘It really warms me,’ she said. ‘But now you need to get into bed. I’ll lie still now.’

Mrs. Pettifer felt it was the best thing she could do to lie down quietly and say no more. She hoped Janet might go to sleep. As for herself, with that tendency to wakefulness common to advanced years, she found it impossible to compose herself to sleep again after this agitating surprise. She lay listening to the clock, wondering what had led to this new outrage of Dempster’s, praying for the poor thing at her side, and pitying the mother who would have to hear it all to-morrow.

Mrs. Pettifer thought the best thing to do was to lie down quietly and say nothing more. She hoped Janet might fall asleep. As for herself, with that typical restlessness that comes with age, she found it impossible to calm down enough to sleep again after this shocking surprise. She lay there listening to the clock, wondering what had caused this latest outrage from Dempster, praying for the poor thing beside her, and feeling sorry for the mother who would have to hear everything tomorrow.

Chapter 16

Janet lay still, as she had promised; but the tea, which had warmed her and given her a sense of greater bodily ease, had only heightened the previous excitement of her brain. Her ideas had a new vividness, which made her feel as if she had only seen life through a dim haze before; her thoughts, instead of springing from the action of her own mind, were external existences, that thrust themselves imperiously upon her like haunting visions. The future took shape after shape of misery before her, always ending in her being dragged back again to her old life of terror, and stupor, and fevered despair. Her husband had so long overshadowed her life that her imagination could not keep hold of a condition in which that great dread was absent; and even his absence—what was it? only a dreary vacant flat, where there was nothing to strive after, nothing to long for.

Janet lay still, as she had promised; but the tea, which had warmed her and made her feel more comfortable, had only intensified the excitement in her mind. Her thoughts had a new clarity, making her realize she had previously viewed life through a fog. Instead of coming from her own mind, her ideas felt like outside forces, imposing themselves on her like haunting visions. The future unfolded in endless shapes of misery before her, always leading back to her old life of fear, numbness, and desperate despair. Her husband had loomed over her life for so long that she couldn’t even imagine a reality without that overwhelming dread; and even his absence—what was it? Just a lonely emptiness, where there was nothing to pursue, nothing to desire.

At last, the light of morning quenched the rushlight, and Janet’s thoughts became more and more fragmentary and confused. She was every moment slipping off the level on which she lay thinking, down, down into some depth from which she tried to rise again with a start. Slumber was stealing over her weary brain: that uneasy slumber which is only better than wretched waking, because the life we seemed to live in it determines no wretched future, because the things we do and suffer in it are but hateful shadows, and leave no impress that petrifies into an irrevocable past.

At last, the morning light extinguished the dim candle, and Janet’s thoughts became increasingly scattered and muddled. With each moment, she felt herself slipping away from the level on which she lay thinking, descending deeper into some abyss from which she struggled to pull herself back up. Drowsiness was creeping over her tired mind: that restless sleep which is only slightly better than miserable wakefulness, because the life we seem to live in it doesn't lead to a miserable future, since the things we do and endure in it are just unpleasant shadows, leaving no mark that hardens into an unchangeable past.

She had scarcely been asleep an hour when her movements became more violent, her mutterings more frequent and agitated, till at last she started up with a smothered cry, and looked wildly round her, shaking with terror.

She had barely been asleep for an hour when her movements grew more restless, her mumblings more frequent and anxious, until finally she shot up with a muffled scream, looking around frantically, trembling with fear.

‘Don’t be frightened, dear Mrs. Dempster,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, who was up and dressing, ‘you are with me, your old friend, Mrs. Pettifer. Nothing will harm you.’

‘Don’t worry, dear Mrs. Dempster,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, who was getting up and getting dressed, ‘you’re with me, your old friend, Mrs. Pettifer. Nothing will hurt you.’

Janet sank back again on her pillow, still trembling. After lying silent a little while, she said, ‘It was a horrible dream. Dear Mrs. Pettifer, don’t let any one know I am here. Keep it a secret. If he finds out, he will come and drag me back again.’

Janet sank back onto her pillow, still shaking. After lying quietly for a moment, she said, ‘It was a terrible dream. Please, Mrs. Pettifer, don’t let anyone know I’m here. Keep it a secret. If he finds out, he’ll come and drag me back again.’

‘No, my dear, depend on me. I’ve just thought I shall send the servant home on a holiday—I’ve promised her a good while. I’ll send her away as soon as she’s had her breakfast, and she’ll have no occasion to know you’re here. There’s no holding servants’ tongues, if you let ’em know anything. What they don’t know, they won’t tell; you may trust ’em so far. But shouldn’t you like me to go and fetch your mother?’

‘No, my dear, trust me. I just realized I should send the maid home for a break—I promised her quite some time ago. I’ll let her go as soon as she finishes her breakfast, and she won’t have any reason to know you’re here. You can’t keep servants from chatting if you share any information with them. What they don’t know, they won’t spill; you can count on that. But would you like me to go get your mom?’

‘No, not yet, not yet. I can’t bear to see her yet.’

‘No, not yet, not yet. I can’t handle seeing her yet.’

‘Well, it shall be just as you like. Now try and get to sleep again. I shall leave you for an hour or two, and send off Phœbe, and then bring you some breakfast. I’ll lock the door behind me, so that the girl mayn’t come in by chance.’

‘Well, it will be exactly how you want it. Now try to get some sleep again. I’ll leave you for an hour or two, send Phœbe away, and then bring you some breakfast. I’ll lock the door behind me so that the girl doesn’t come in accidentally.’

The daylight changes the aspect of misery to us, as of everything else. In the night it presses on our imagination—the forms it takes are false, fitful, exaggerated; in broad day it sickens our sense with the dreary persistence of definite measurable reality. The man who looks with ghastly horror on all his property aflame in the dead of night, has not half the sense of destitution he will have in the morning, when he walks over the ruins lying blackened in the pitiless sunshine. That moment of intensest depression was come to Janet, when the daylight which showed her the walls, and chairs, and tables, and all the commonplace reality that surrounded her, seemed to lay bare the future too, and bring out into oppressive distinctness all the details of a weary life to be lived from day to day, with no hope to strengthen her against that evil habit, which she loathed in retrospect and yet was powerless to resist. Her husband would never consent to her living away from him: she was become necessary to his tyranny; he would never willingly loosen his grasp on her. She had a vague notion of some protection the law might give her, if she could prove her life in danger from him; but she shrank utterly, as she had always done, from any active, public resistance or vengeance: she felt too crushed, too faulty, too liable to reproach, to have the courage, even if she had had the wish to put herself openly in the position of a wronged woman seeking redress. She had no strength to sustain her in a course of self-defence and independence: there was a darker shadow over her life than the dread of her husband—it was the shadow of self-despair. The easiest thing would be to go away and hide herself from him. But then there was her mother: Robert had all her little property in his hands, and that little was scarcely enough to keep her in comfort without his aid. If Janet went away alone he would be sure to persecute her mother; and if she did go away—what then? She must work to maintain herself; she must exert herself, weary and hopeless as she was, to begin life afresh. How hard that seemed to her! Janet’s nature did not belie her grand face and form: there was energy, there was strength in it; but it was the strength of the vine, which must have its broad leaves and rich clusters borne up by a firm stay. And now she had nothing to rest on—no faith, no love. If her mother had been very feeble, aged, or sickly, Janet’s deep pity and tenderness might have made a daughter’s duties an interest and a solace; but Mrs. Raynor had never needed tendance; she had always been giving help to her daughter; she had always been a sort of humble ministering spirit; and it was one of Janet’s pangs of memory, that instead of being her mother’s comfort, she had been her mother’s trial. Everywhere the same sadness! Her life was a sun-dried, barren tract, where there was no shadow, and where all the waters were bitter.

The daylight changes how we see our misery, just like everything else. At night, it weighs heavily on our imagination—the shapes it takes are misleading, inconsistent, and exaggerated; in broad daylight, it overwhelms our senses with the bleak reality we can't escape. A man who looks in horror at all his belongings burning in the dead of night doesn’t feel nearly as destitute as he does in the morning when he walks through the charred remains under the relentless sun. That moment of deepest despair hit Janet when the daylight revealed the walls, chairs, tables, and all the ordinary reality around her, seemingly exposing her future as well, highlighting all the details of a tiring life ahead, with no hope to fortify her against the bad habits she hated in hindsight but felt powerless to resist. Her husband would never agree to her living apart from him; she had become essential to his control; he would never willingly let her go. She had a vague idea that the law might offer her some protection if she could prove her life was in danger from him, but she recoiled completely, as she always had, from any active, public resistance or revenge: she felt too beaten down, too flawed, too open to blame to have the courage, even if she wanted, to put herself in the position of a wronged woman seeking justice. She had no strength to support herself in a path of self-defense and independence: there was a darker shadow over her life than the fear of her husband—it was the shadow of self-despair. The easiest thing would be to run away and hide from him. But then there was her mother: Robert had all her small possessions, and that little was barely enough to keep her comfortable without his help. If Janet left alone, he would surely harass her mother; and if she did leave—what then? She would have to work to support herself; she would need to push herself, exhausted and hopeless as she was, to start life over. It felt so hard to her! Janet’s nature did not deceive her grand appearance: there was energy, there was strength in her; but it was the strength of a vine that needs its broad leaves and rich clusters to be supported by a sturdy structure. And now she had nothing to rely on—no faith, no love. If her mother had been very weak, old, or ill, Janet’s deep sympathy and care might have turned a daughter’s duties into an interest and comfort; but Mrs. Raynor had never needed care; she had always been a source of support for her daughter; she had always played a kind of humble, caring role; and it was one of Janet’s painful memories that instead of being her mother’s comfort, she had been her mother’s burden. The same sadness was everywhere! Her life felt like a sun-baked, barren land, where there was no shade, and all the waters were bitter.

No! She suddenly thought—and the thought was like an electric shock—there was one spot in her memory which seemed to promise her an untried spring, where the waters might be sweet. That short interview with Mr. Tryan had come back upon her—his voice, his words, his look, which told her that he knew sorrow. His words have implied that he thought his death was near; yet he had a faith which enabled him to labour—enabled him to give comfort to others. That look of his came back on her with a vividness greater than it had had for her in reality: surely he knew more of the secrets of sorrow than other men; perhaps he had some message of comfort, different from the feeble words she had been used to hear from others. She was tired, she was sick of that barren exhortation—Do right, and keep a clear conscience, and God will reward you, and your troubles will be easier to bear. She wanted strength to do right—she wanted something to rely on besides her own resolutions; for was not the path behind her all strewn with broken resolutions? How could she trust in new ones? She had often heard Mr. Tryan laughed at for being fond of great sinners. She began to see a new meaning in those words; he would perhaps understand her helplessness, her wants. If she could pour out her heart to him! if she could for the first time in her life unlock all the chambers of her soul!

No! She suddenly thought—and it hit her like an electric shock—there was one place in her memory that seemed to promise her an untried spring, where the waters might be sweet. That brief meeting with Mr. Tryan came rushing back to her—his voice, his words, his look, which showed her that he understood sorrow. His words suggested that he believed his death was coming soon; yet he had a faith that allowed him to work hard—made him able to bring comfort to others. That look of his returned to her with a vividness greater than it had in reality: surely he knew more about the secrets of sorrow than most men; maybe he had some message of comfort that was different from the weak words she was used to hearing from others. She was exhausted, she was tired of that empty encouragement—Do right, and keep a clear conscience, and God will reward you, and your troubles will feel lighter. She wanted strength to do what’s right—she wanted something to rely on besides her own promises; wasn’t the path behind her littered with broken resolutions? How could she trust in new ones? She had often heard Mr. Tryan mocked for caring about great sinners. She began to see a new meaning in those words; he might understand her helplessness, her needs. If she could just open up to him! If she could, for the first time in her life, unlock all the corners of her soul!

The impulse to confession almost always requires the presence of a fresh ear and a fresh heart; and in our moments of spiritual need, the man to whom we have no tie but our common nature, seems nearer to us than mother, brother, or friend. Our daily familiar life is but a hiding of ourselves from each other behind a screen of trivial words and deeds, and those who sit with us at the same hearth are often the farthest off from the deep human soul within us, full of unspoken evil and unacted good.

The need to confess usually requires someone who’s ready to listen and open-hearted; in our times of spiritual struggle, a person with whom we have no connection except our shared humanity feels closer to us than a mother, brother, or friend. Our everyday lives often involve hiding who we really are behind a facade of meaningless words and actions, and those who share our space at home are often the most distant from the deep human soul within us, filled with unexpressed darkness and untapped goodness.

When Mrs. Pettifer came back to her, turning the key and opening the door very gently, Janet, instead of being asleep, as her good friend had hoped, was intensely occupied with her new thought. She longed to ask Mrs. Pettifer if she could see Mr. Tryan; but she was arrested by doubts and timidity. He might not feel for her—he might be shocked at her confession—he might talk to her of doctrines she could not understand or believe. She could not make up her mind yet; but she was too restless under this mental struggle to remain in bed.

When Mrs. Pettifer returned, gently unlocking and opening the door, Janet was not asleep, as her good friend had hoped. Instead, she was deeply engaged with her new thoughts. She desperately wanted to ask Mrs. Pettifer if she could see Mr. Tryan, but doubts and shyness held her back. He might not have feelings for her—he might be shocked by her confession—he might discuss beliefs she couldn’t grasp or accept. She hadn’t made up her mind yet, but the mental struggle made her too restless to stay in bed.

‘Mrs. Pettifer,’ she said, ‘I can’t lie here any longer; I must get up. Will you lend me some clothes?’

‘Mrs. Pettifer,’ she said, ‘I can’t stay here any longer; I need to get up. Can you lend me some clothes?’

Wrapt in such drapery as Mrs. Pettifer could find for her tall figure, Janet went down into the little parlour, and tried to take some of the breakfast her friend had prepared for her. But her effort was not a successful one; her cup of tea and bit of toast were only half finished. The leaden weight of discouragement pressed upon her more and more heavily. The wind had fallen, and a drizzling rain had come on; there was no prospect from Mrs. Pettifer’s parlour but a blank wall; and as Janet looked out at the window, the rain and the smoke-blackened bricks seemed to blend themselves in sickening identity with her desolation of spirit and the headachy weariness of her body.

Wrapped in whatever clothes Mrs. Pettifer could find for her tall figure, Janet went down to the small parlor and tried to eat some of the breakfast her friend had prepared. But it didn’t go well; she barely touched her cup of tea and piece of toast. The heavy weight of discouragement pressed down on her more and more. The wind had died down, and a light rain had started; the view from Mrs. Pettifer’s parlor showed nothing but a blank wall. As Janet looked out the window, the rain and the soot-covered bricks seemed to merge into a nauseating reflection of her emotional despair and the tiredness of her body.

Mrs. Pettifer got through her household work as soon as she could, and sat down with her sewing, hoping that Janet would perhaps be able to talk a little of what had passed, and find some relief by unbosoming herself in that way. But Janet could not speak to her; she was importuned with the longing to see Mr. Tryan, and yet hesitating to express it.

Mrs. Pettifer finished her household chores as quickly as she could and settled down with her sewing, hoping that Janet might feel comfortable enough to share what had happened and find some relief by opening up. But Janet couldn’t talk to her; she was overwhelmed with the desire to see Mr. Tryan, yet she hesitated to say it.

Two hours passed in this way. The rain went on drizzling, and Janet sat still, leaning her aching head on her hand, and looking alternately at the fire and out of the window. She felt this could not last—this motionless, vacant misery. She must determine on something, she must take some step; and yet everything was so difficult.

Two hours went by like this. The rain kept drizzling, and Janet sat quietly, resting her sore head on her hand, looking back and forth between the fire and the window. She felt she couldn't continue like this—this still, empty misery. She needed to make a decision, she needed to take some action; yet everything felt so challenging.

It was one o’clock, and Mrs. Pettifer rose from her seat, saying, ‘I must go and see about dinner.’

It was one o'clock, and Mrs. Pettifer got up from her seat, saying, "I need to go check on dinner."

The movement and the sound startled Janet from her reverie. It seemed as if an opportunity were escaping her, and she said hastily, ‘Is Mr. Tryan in the town to-day, do you think?’

The movement and the noise jolted Janet out of her daydream. It felt like an opportunity was slipping away from her, and she quickly asked, “Do you think Mr. Tryan is in town today?”

‘No, I should think not, being Saturday, you know,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, her face lighting up with pleasure; ‘but he would come, if he was sent for. I can send Jesson’s boy with a note to him any time. Should you like to see him?’

‘No, I don’t think so, since it’s Saturday, you know,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, her face brightening with happiness; ‘but he would come if you asked him to. I can send Jesson’s boy with a note to him anytime. Would you like to see him?’

‘Yes, I think I should.’

"Yeah, I think I should."

‘Then I’ll send for him this instant.’

‘Then I’ll get him here right away.’

Chapter 17

When Dempster awoke in the morning, he was at no loss to account to himself for the fact that Janet was not by his side. His hours of drunkenness were not cut off from his other hours by any blank wall of oblivion; he remembered what Janet had done to offend him the evening before, he remembered what he had done to her at midnight, just as he would have remembered if he had been consulted about a right of road.

When Dempster woke up in the morning, he had no trouble figuring out why Janet wasn't next to him. His drunken hours weren't separated from his other hours by a blank wall of forgetfulness; he remembered what Janet had done to upset him the night before, and he remembered what he had done to her at midnight, just like he would remember if he had been asked about a pathway right.

The remembrance gave him a definite ground for the extra ill-humour which had attended his waking every morning this week, but he would not admit to himself that it cost him any anxiety. ‘Pooh,’ he said inwardly, ‘she would go straight to her mother’s. She’s as timid as a hare; and she’ll never let anybody know about it. She’ll be back again before night.’

The memory gave him a solid reason for the extra bad mood that had followed him every morning this week, but he wouldn't admit to himself that it bothered him. 'Nah,' he thought to himself, 'she would go straight to her mom's. She's as timid as a rabbit, and she won't let anyone find out. She'll be back before nightfall.'

But it would be as well for the servants not to know anything of the affair: so he collected the clothes she had taken off the night before, and threw them into a fire-proof closet of which he always kept the key in his pocket. When he went down-stairs he said to the housemaid, ‘Mrs. Dempster is gone to her mother’s; bring in the breakfast.’

But it was better for the servants not to know anything about it: so he gathered up the clothes she had taken off the night before and tossed them into a fire-proof closet that he always kept the key to in his pocket. When he went downstairs, he told the housemaid, ‘Mrs. Dempster has gone to her mother’s; please bring in the breakfast.’

The servants, accustomed to hear domestic broils, and to see their mistress put on her bonnet hastily and go to her mother’s, thought it only something a little worse than usual that she should have gone thither in consequence of a violent quarrel, either at midnight, or in the early morning before they were up. The housemaid told the cook what she supposed had happened; the cook shook her head and said, ‘Eh, dear, dear!’ but they both expected to see their mistress back again in an hour or two.

The servants, used to hearing arguments at home and seeing their mistress hurriedly put on her hat to visit her mother, thought it was just a bit worse than usual that she went there after a nasty fight, either at midnight or early in the morning before they were up. The housemaid told the cook what she thought had happened; the cook shook her head and said, "Oh dear, oh dear!" but they both expected their mistress to be back in an hour or two.

Dempster, on his return home the evening before, had ordered his man, who lived away from the house, to bring up his horse and gig from the stables at ten. After breakfast he said to the housemaid, ‘No one need sit up for me to-night; I shall not be at home till to-morrow evening;’ and then he walked to the office to give some orders, expecting, as he returned, to see the man waiting with his gig. But though the church clock had struck ten, no gig was there. In Dempster’s mood this was more than enough to exasperate him. He went in to take his accustomed glass of brandy before setting out, promising himself the satisfaction of presently thundering at Dawes for being a few minutes behind his time. An outbreak of temper towards his man was not common with him; for Dempster, like most tyrannous people, had that dastardly kind of self-restraint which enabled him to control his temper where it suited his own convenience to do so; and feeling the value of Dawes, a steady punctual fellow, he not only gave him high wages, but usually treated him with exceptional civility. This morning, however, ill-humour got the better of prudence, and Dempster was determined to rate him soundly; a resolution for which Dawes gave him much better ground than he expected. Five minutes, ten minutes, a quarter of an hour, had passed, and Dempster was setting off to the stables in a back street to see what was the cause of the delay, when Dawes appeared with the gig.

Dempster, on his way home the night before, had told his employee, who lived off the property, to bring his horse and carriage from the stables at ten. After breakfast, he said to the housemaid, “No one needs to wait up for me tonight; I won’t be home until tomorrow evening,” and then he walked to the office to give some instructions, expecting that on his return, the man would be there with the carriage. But even though the church clock had struck ten, there was no carriage in sight. This was more than enough to irritate Dempster. He went in to take his usual glass of brandy before heading out, promising himself the pleasure of berating Dawes for being a few minutes late. It wasn’t typical for him to lose his cool with his employee; like many domineering people, Dempster had that cowardly kind of self-control that allowed him to manage his temper when it suited him. Recognizing Dawes as a reliable and punctual guy, he not only paid him well but usually treated him with notable respect. However, that morning, his bad mood got the better of his good sense, and Dempster was set on giving him a good scolding. Dawes provided him with more reason for this than he expected. Five minutes turned into ten, then a quarter of an hour passed, and Dempster was about to head to the stables in a back street to find out what was causing the delay when Dawes finally showed up with the carriage.

‘What the devil do you keep me here for?’ thundered Dempster, ‘kicking my heels like a beggarly tailor waiting for a carrier’s cart? I ordered you to be here at ten. We might have driven to Whitlow by this time.’

‘What the hell do you keep me here for?’ shouted Dempster, ‘kicking my heels like a broke tailor waiting for a delivery truck? I told you to be here at ten. We could have made it to Whitlow by now.’

‘Why, one o’ the traces was welly i’ two, an’ I had to take it to Brady’s to be mended, an’ he didn’t get it done i’ time.’

‘Well, one of the traces was almost in two pieces, and I had to take it to Brady’s to get it fixed, but he didn’t finish it in time.’

‘Then why didn’t you take it to him last night? Because of your damned laziness, I suppose. Do you think I give you wages for you to choose your own hours, and come dawdling up a quarter of an hour after my time?’

‘Then why didn’t you take it to him last night? I guess it’s because of your damn laziness. Do you really think I pay you so you can pick your own hours and stroll in a quarter of an hour after I’m supposed to start?’

‘Come, give me good words, will yer?’ said Dawes, sulkily. ‘I’m not lazy, nor no man shall call me lazy. I know well anuff what you gi’ me wages for; it’s for doin’ what yer won’t find many men as ’ull do.’

‘Come, give me some encouragement, will you?’ said Dawes, sulkily. ‘I’m not lazy, and no one can call me lazy. I know well enough what you pay me for; it’s for doing what you won’t find many men who will do.’

‘What, you impudent scoundrel,’ said Dempster, getting into the gig, ‘you think you’re necessary to me, do you? As if a beastly bucket-carrying idiot like you wasn’t to be got any day. Look out for a new master, then, who’ll pay you for not doing as you’re bid.’

‘What, you rude jerk,’ said Dempster, getting into the gig, ‘you think you’re important to me, don’t you? As if a disgusting bucket-carrying fool like you couldn’t be replaced any day. Better start looking for a new boss, then, who’ll pay you for doing nothing.’

Dawe’s blood was now fairly up. ‘I’ll look out for a master as has got a better charicter nor a lyin’, bletherin’ drunkard, an’ I shouldn’t hev to go fur.’

Dawe’s blood was now running high. ‘I’ll look for a boss who has a better reputation than a lying, rambling drunk, and I shouldn’t have to look far.’

Dempster, furious, snatched the whip from the socket, and gave Dawes a cut which he meant to fall across his shoulders saying, ‘Take that, sir, and go to hell with you!’

Dempster, furious, yanked the whip from its holder and swung it at Dawes, intending to land a strike across his shoulders, saying, ‘Take that, and go to hell!’

Dawes was in the act of turning with the reins in his hand when the lash fell, and the cut went across his face. With white lips, he said, ‘I’ll have the law on yer for that, lawyer as y’are,’ and threw the reins on the horse’s back.

Dawes was in the process of turning with the reins in his hand when the whip struck, leaving a cut across his face. With pale lips, he said, "I’ll take legal action against you for that, being a lawyer and all," and tossed the reins onto the horse's back.

Dempster leaned forward, seized the reins, and drove off.

Dempster leaned forward, grabbed the reins, and took off.

‘Why, there’s your friend Dempster driving out without his man again,’ said Mr. Luke Byles, who was chatting with Mr. Budd in the Bridge Way. ‘What a fool he is to drive that two-wheeled thing! he’ll get pitched on his head one of these days.’

‘Look, there’s your friend Dempster driving out without his driver again,’ said Mr. Luke Byles, who was chatting with Mr. Budd in the Bridge Way. ‘What an idiot he is to drive that two-wheeled thing! He’s going to end up falling on his head one of these days.’

‘Not he,’ said Mr. Budd, nodding to Dempster as he passed; ‘he’s got nine lives, Dempster has.’

'Not him,' Mr. Budd said, nodding to Dempster as he walked by; 'he's got nine lives, Dempster does.'

Chapter 18

It was dusk, and the candles were lighted before Mr. Tryan knocked at Mrs. Pettifer’s door. Her messenger had brought back word that he was not at home, and all afternoon Janet had been agitated by the fear that he would not come; but as soon as that anxiety was removed by the knock at the door, she felt a sudden rush of doubt and timidity: she trembled and turned cold.

It was getting dark, and the candles were lit before Mr. Tryan knocked on Mrs. Pettifer’s door. Her messenger had returned with news that he wasn’t home, and all afternoon Janet had felt nervous that he wouldn’t show up; but as soon as that worry faded with the knock at the door, she suddenly felt a wave of doubt and shyness: she shivered and felt cold.

Mrs. Pettifer went to open the door, and told Mr. Tryan, in as few words as possible, what had happened in the night. As he laid down his hat and prepared to enter the parlour, she said, ‘I won’t go in with you, for I think perhaps she would rather see you go in alone.’

Mrs. Pettifer opened the door and quickly told Mr. Tryan what had happened during the night. As he set down his hat and got ready to enter the living room, she said, “I won’t go in with you because I think she’d prefer to see you go in by yourself.”

Janet, wrapped up in a large white shawl which threw her dark face into startling relief, was seated with her eyes turned anxiously towards the door when Mr. Tryan entered. He had not seen her since their interview at Sally Martin’s long months ago; and he felt a strong movement of compassion at the sight of the pain-stricken face which seemed to bear written on it the signs of all Janet’s intervening misery. Her heart gave a great leap, as her eyes met his once more. No! she had not deceived herself: there was all the sincerity, all the sadness, all the deep pity in them her memory had told her of; more than it had told her, for in proportion as his face had become thinner and more worn, his eyes appeared to have gathered intensity.

Janet, wrapped in a large white shawl that highlighted her dark face, sat with her eyes anxiously focused on the door when Mr. Tryan walked in. He hadn't seen her since their meeting at Sally Martin’s many months ago, and he felt a strong wave of compassion at the sight of her pained expression, which seemed to show all the suffering she had endured since then. Her heart raced when her eyes met his again. No, she hadn’t been mistaken: his eyes held all the sincerity, sadness, and deep pity that her memory had reminded her of, even more than she remembered, because as his face had gotten thinner and more worn, his eyes seemed to have gained a greater intensity.

He came forward, and, putting out his hand, said, ‘I am so glad you sent for me—I am so thankful you thought I could be any comfort to you.’ Janet took his hand in silence. She was unable to utter any words of mere politeness, or even of gratitude; her heart was too full of other words that had welled up the moment she met his pitying glance, and felt her doubts fall away.

He walked up, held out his hand, and said, ‘I’m really glad you asked me to come—I’m so grateful you thought I could help you.’ Janet took his hand without saying anything. She couldn’t find the words for simple politeness or even gratitude; her heart was overwhelmed with other feelings that surged up the moment she met his compassionate gaze and felt her doubts disappear.

They sat down opposite each other, and she said in a low voice, while slow difficult tears gathered in her aching eyes,—‘I want to tell you how unhappy I am—how weak and wicked. I feel no strength to live or die. I thought you could tell me something that would help me.’ She paused.

They sat down across from each other, and she said quietly, with slow, painful tears welling up in her hurting eyes, “I need to tell you how unhappy I am—how weak and wrong I feel. I have no strength to live or die. I thought you could share something that would help me.” She stopped talking.

‘Perhaps I can,’ Mr. Tryan said, ‘for in speaking to me you are speaking to a fellow-sinner who has needed just the comfort and help you are needing.’

‘Maybe I can,’ Mr. Tryan said, ‘because when you talk to me, you’re talking to a fellow sinner who has needed the same comfort and help you’re looking for.’

‘And you did find it?’

'Did you find it?'

‘Yes; and I trust you will find it.’

‘Yeah; and I hope you find it.’

‘O, I should like to be good and to do right,’ Janet burst forth; ‘but indeed, indeed, my lot has been a very hard one. I loved my husband very dearly when we were married, and I meant to make him happy—I wanted nothing else. But he began to be angry with me for little things and ... I don’t want to accuse him ... but he drank and got more and more unkind to me, and then very cruel, and he beat me. And that cut me to the heart. It made me almost mad sometimes to think all our love had come to that ... I couldn’t bear up against it. I had never been used to drink anything but water. I hated wine and spirits because Robert drank them so; but one day when I was very wretched, and the wine was standing on the table, I suddenly ... I can hardly remember how I came to do it ... I poured some wine into a large glass and drank it. It blunted my feelings, and made me more indifferent. After that, the temptation was always coming, and it got stronger and stronger. I was ashamed, and I hated what I did; but almost while the thought was passing through my mind that I would never do it again, I did it. It seemed as if there was a demon in me always making me rush to do what I longed not to do. And I thought all the more that God was cruel; for if He had not sent me that dreadful trial, so much worse than other women have to bear, I should not have done wrong in that way. I suppose it is wicked to think so ... I feel as if there must be goodness and right above us, but I can’t see it, I can’t trust in it. And I have gone on in that way for years and years. At one time it used to be better now and then, but everything has got worse lately. I felt sure it must soon end somehow. And last night he turned me out of doors ... I don’t know what to do. I will never go back to that life again if I can help it; and yet everything else seems so miserable. I feel sure that demon will always be urging me to satisfy the craving that comes upon me, and the days will go on as they have done through all those miserable years. I shall always be doing wrong, and hating myself after—sinking lower and lower, and knowing that I am sinking. O can you tell me any way of getting strength? Have you ever known any one like me that got peace of mind and power to do right? Can you give me any comfort—any hope?’

‘Oh, I really want to be good and do the right thing,’ Janet exclaimed. ‘But honestly, my life has been very tough. I loved my husband deeply when we got married, and I really wanted to make him happy—nothing else mattered to me. But he started getting mad at me over small things and ... I don’t want to blame him ... but he started drinking and became more and more unkind, then very cruel, and he hit me. That hurt me to my core. Sometimes it drove me almost insane to think that all our love ended up like this ... I couldn’t handle it. I had always only drunk water. I hated wine and liquor because Robert drank them; but one day, when I was feeling really down, and the wine was on the table, I suddenly ... I can hardly remember how I did it ... I poured some wine into a big glass and drank it. It numbed my feelings and made me more indifferent. After that, the temptation was always there, and it got stronger and stronger. I felt ashamed, and I hated what I was doing; but almost as soon as I thought I’d never do it again, I did. It felt like there was a demon inside me constantly pushing me to do what I desperately wanted to avoid. And I thought even more that God was cruel; because if He hadn't given me that awful trial, which is so much worse than what other women have to endure, I wouldn’t have gone wrong like this. I guess it’s wrong to think that ... I feel like there must be goodness and right above us, but I can’t see it, I can’t trust it. And I’ve kept living like this for years. Sometimes it would get a little better, but everything has gotten worse lately. I felt sure it had to end soon. And last night he threw me out ... I don’t know what to do. I will never go back to that life again if I can help it; but everything else feels so miserable. I’m sure that demon will always be pushing me to satisfy the urge that hits me, and the days will keep dragging on just like they have through all those awful years. I’ll always be doing wrong and then hating myself afterward—sinking lower and lower, and knowing that I’m sinking. Oh, can you tell me any way to find strength? Have you ever known anyone like me who found peace of mind and the ability to do right? Can you give me any comfort—any hope?’

While Janet was speaking, she had forgotten everything but her misery and her yearning for comfort. Her voice had risen from the low tone of timid distress to an intense pitch of imploring anguish. She clasped her hands tightly, and looked at Mr. Tryon with eager questioning eyes, with parted, trembling lips, with the deep horizontal lines of overmastering pain on her brow. In this artificial life of ours, it is not often we see a human face with all a heart’s agony in it, uncontrolled by self-consciousness; when we do see it, it startles us as if we had suddenly waked into the real world of which this everyday one is but a puppet-show copy. For some moments Mr. Tryan was too deeply moved to speak.

While Janet was talking, she completely forgot everything except her misery and her desire for comfort. Her voice had risen from a quiet tone of timid distress to a high pitch of desperate anguish. She clasped her hands tightly and looked at Mr. Tryon with eager, questioning eyes, parted, trembling lips, and deep lines of overwhelming pain on her forehead. In our artificial lives, we don’t often see a human face displaying such raw agony, unfiltered by self-consciousness; when we do encounter it, it shocks us as if we've suddenly awakened into the real world, of which this everyday one is just a puppet show version. For a few moments, Mr. Tryon was too moved to speak.

‘Yes, dear Mrs. Dempster,’ he said at last, ‘there is comfort, there is hope for you. Believe me there is, for I speak from my own deep and hard experience.’ He paused, as if he had not made up his mind to utter the words that were urging themselves to his lips. Presently he continued, ‘Ten years ago, I felt as wretched as you do. I think my wretchedness was even worse than yours, for I had a heavier sin on my conscience. I had suffered no wrong from others as you have, and I had injured another irreparably in body and soul. The image of the wrong I had done pursued me everywhere, and I seemed on the brink of madness. I hated my life, for I thought, just as you do, that I should go on falling into temptation and doing more harm in the world; and I dreaded death, for with that sense of guilt on my soul, I felt that whatever state I entered on must be one of misery. But a dear friend to whom I opened my mind showed me it was just such as I—the helpless who feel themselves helpless—that God specially invites to come to Him, and offers all the riches of His salvation: not forgiveness only; forgiveness would be worth little if it left us under the powers of our evil passions; but strength—that strength which enables us to conquer sin.’

‘Yes, dear Mrs. Dempster,’ he finally said, ‘there is comfort, there is hope for you. Believe me, there is, because I speak from my own deep and difficult experience.’ He paused, as if he were hesitating to say the words that were pushing to get out. After a moment, he continued, ‘Ten years ago, I felt as miserable as you do. I think my misery was even worse than yours, because I carried a heavier sin on my conscience. I hadn’t suffered wrong from others like you have, and I had hurt someone irreparably in body and soul. The memory of the wrong I had done haunted me everywhere, and I felt like I was on the edge of madness. I hated my life, because I thought, just like you do, that I would keep falling into temptation and causing more harm in the world; and I dreaded death, because with that guilt on my soul, I felt that whatever state I entered would be one of misery. But a dear friend to whom I confided showed me that it is precisely people like me—the helpless who feel helpless—that God especially invites to come to Him, offering all the treasures of His salvation: not just forgiveness; that would mean little if it left us under the control of our evil passions; but strength—that strength that gives us the ability to overcome sin.’

‘But,’ said Janet, ‘I can feel no trust in God. He seems always to have left me to myself. I have sometimes prayed to Him to help me, and yet everything has been just the same as before. If you felt like me, how did you come to have hope and trust?’

‘But,’ said Janet, ‘I can’t trust God. It feels like He’s always left me on my own. I’ve prayed for His help, and yet nothing has changed. If you felt like I do, how did you find hope and trust?’

‘Do not believe that God has left you to yourself. How can you tell but that the hardest trials you have known have been only the road by which He was leading you to that complete sense of your own sin and helplessness, without which you would never have renounced all other hopes, and trusted in His love alone? I know, dear Mrs. Dempster, I know it is hard to bear. I would not speak lightly of your sorrows. I feel that the mystery of our life is great, and at one time it seemed as dark to me as it does to you.’ Mr. Tryan hesitated again. He saw that the first thing Janet needed was to be assured of sympathy. She must be made to feel that her anguish was not strange to him; that he entered into the only half-expressed secrets of her spiritual weakness, before any other message of consolation could find its way to her heart. The tale of the Divine Pity was never yet believed from lips that were not felt to be moved by human pity. And Janet’s anguish was not strange to Mr. Tryan. He had never been in the presence of a sorrow and a self-despair that had sent so strong a thrill through all the recesses of his saddest experience; and it is because sympathy is but a living again through our own past in a new form, that confession often prompts a response of confession. Mr. Tryan felt this prompting, and his judgement, too, told him that in obeying it he would be taking the best means of administering comfort to Janet. Yet he hesitated; as we tremble to let in the daylight on a chamber of relics which we have never visited except in curtained silence. But the first impulse triumphed, and he went on. ‘I had lived all my life at a distance from God. My youth was spent in thoughtless self-indulgence, and all my hopes were of a vain worldly kind. I had no thought of entering the Church; I looked forward to a political career, for my father was private secretary to a man high in the Whig Ministry, and had been promised strong interest in my behalf. At college I lived in intimacy with the gayest men, even adopting follies and vices for which I had no taste, out of mere pliancy and the love of standing well with my companions. You see, I was more guilty even then than you have been, for I threw away all the rich blessings of untroubled youth and health; I had no excuse in my outward lot. But while I was at college that event in my life occurred, which in the end brought on the state of mind I have mentioned to you—the state of self-reproach and despair, which enables me to understand to the full what you are suffering; and I tell you the facts, because I want you to be assured that I am not uttering mere vague words when I say that I have been raised from as low a depth of sin and sorrow as that in which you feel yourself to be. At college I had an attachment to a lovely girl of seventeen; she was very much below my own station in life, and I never contemplated marrying her; but I induced her to leave her father’s house. I did not mean to forsake her when I left college, and I quieted all scruples of conscience by promising myself that I would always take care of poor Lucy. But on my return from a vacation spent in travelling, I found that Lucy was gone—gone away with a gentleman, her neighbours said. I was a good deal distressed, but I tried to persuade myself that no harm would come to her. Soon afterwards I had an illness which left my health delicate, and made all dissipation distasteful to me. Life seemed very wearisome and empty, and I looked with envy on every one who had some great and absorbing object—even on my cousin who was preparing to go out as a missionary, and whom I had been used to think a dismal, tedious person, because he was constantly urging religious subjects upon me. We were living in London then; it was three years since I had lost sight of Lucy; and one summer evening, about nine o’clock, as I was walking along Gower Street, I saw a knot of people on the causeway before me. As I came up to them, I heard one woman say, “I tell you, she is dead.” This awakened my interest, and I pushed my way within the circle. The body of a woman, dressed in fine clothes, was lying against a door-step. Her head was bent on one side, and the long curls had fallen over her cheek. A tremor seized me when I saw the hair: it was light chestnut—the colour of Lucy’s. I knelt down and turned aside the hair; it was Lucy—dead—with paint on her cheeks. I found out afterwards that she had taken poison—that she was in the power of a wicked woman—that the very clothes on her back were not her own. It was then that my past life burst upon me in all its hideousness. I wished I had never been born. I couldn’t look into the future. Lucy’s dead painted face would follow me there, as it did when I looked back into the past—as it did when I sat down to table with my friends, when I lay down in my bed, and when I rose up. There was only one thing that could make life tolerable to me; that was, to spend all the rest of it in trying to save others from the ruin I had brought on one. But how was that possible for me? I had no comfort, no strength, no wisdom in my own soul; how could I give them to others? My mind was dark, rebellious, at war with itself and with God.’

‘Don’t think that God has abandoned you. How can you be sure that the toughest trials you’ve faced weren't just the path He was using to help you fully realize your own sin and helplessness? Without that realization, you would never have let go of all your other hopes and trusted solely in His love. I understand, dear Mrs. Dempster, I really do; it's hard to endure. I wouldn’t take your sorrows lightly. I sense that the mystery of our lives is profound, and at one point, it seemed just as dark to me as it does to you.’ Mr. Tryan paused again. He knew that what Janet needed most was the reassurance of sympathy. She had to feel that her pain was not foreign to him; that he understood the unspoken depths of her spiritual struggles before any other message of comfort could reach her heart. The story of Divine Pity has never been truly believed from someone whose own heart wasn't moved by human compassion. And Janet’s suffering was no stranger to Mr. Tryan. He had never encountered a sorrow and self-loathing so powerful that it echoed through all his own past sadness. Sympathy is often just reliving our experiences in a new light, which is why confession often brings about more confession. Mr. Tryan felt this urge, and his instincts told him that following it would be the best way to provide comfort to Janet. But he hesitated, as we do before letting sunlight into a room of memories we’ve only visited in silence. However, the initial impulse won out, and he continued. ‘I spent my entire life distanced from God. My youth was filled with careless indulgence, and all my aspirations were shallow and worldly. I never considered becoming a priest; I was looking at a career in politics since my father was a private secretary to a prominent person in the Whig Ministry, and he had promised to support me. In college, I surrounded myself with the most carefree guys, even adopting their foolishness and bad habits just to fit in, even when I had no real interest. You see, I was guiltier then than you have been, because I squandered all the wonderful gifts of a carefree youth and good health; I had no excuse based on my background. But while I was in college, a significant event happened that ultimately led to the state of mind I've mentioned to you—the state of self-reproach and despair that allows me to fully understand what you’re going through; I'm sharing this because I want you to be assured that I'm not just saying empty words when I claim I’ve risen from as deep a place of sin and sorrow as where you find yourself. In college, I became attached to a beautiful girl of seventeen; she was from a much lower social class, and I never thought of marrying her, but I convinced her to leave her father’s home. I didn’t intend to abandon her when I left college, and I eased my conscience with the promise that I would always care for poor Lucy. But when I returned from a vacation, I discovered that Lucy was gone—she had left with a man, or so the neighbors said. I was really upset but tried to convince myself that nothing bad would happen to her. Not long after, I fell ill, which left me with fragile health, making all excess seem repulsive. Life started to feel exhausting and empty, and I envied anyone with a significant goal—even my cousin, who was preparing to be a missionary, someone I used to find dull because he kept bringing up religious topics. We were living in London at that time; it had been three years since I lost track of Lucy; one summer evening, around nine o’clock, while walking along Gower Street, I noticed a crowd gathered on the sidewalk. As I approached, I heard a woman say, “I tell you, she is dead.” This caught my attention, and I pushed my way to the front. A woman’s body, dressed elegantly, was lying against a doorstep. Her head was tilted to the side, and her long curls had fallen over her face. I felt a jolt when I saw the hair: it was light chestnut—the same color as Lucy’s. I knelt down and brushed the hair aside; it was Lucy—dead—with makeup on her cheeks. Later, I learned she had taken poison—that she had come under the influence of a wicked woman—that even the clothes she wore were not her own. It was then that my past life flooded my mind in all its ugliness. I wished I had never been born. I couldn’t see a future. Lucy’s lifeless, painted face would haunt me there, just as it did when I looked back into the past—as it did when I sat with friends, when I lay in bed, and when I got up. There was only one thing that could make life bearable for me; that was to spend the rest of it trying to save others from the destruction I had brought upon one person. But how could I do that? I had no comfort, no strength, no wisdom in my own soul; how could I offer any to others? My mind was dark, rebellious, at war with itself and with God.’

Mr. Tryan had been looking away from Janet. His face was towards the fire, and he was absorbed in the images his memory was recalling. But now he turned his eyes on her, and they met hers, fixed on him with the look of rapt expectation, with which one clinging to a slippery summit of a rock, while the waves are rising higher and higher, watches the boat that has put from shore to his rescue.

Mr. Tryan had been looking away from Janet. His face was turned towards the fire, lost in the memories flooding back to him. But now he turned to her, and their eyes locked, hers fixed on him with a look of intense anticipation, like someone clinging to the edge of a slippery rock as the waves rise higher and higher, watching the boat that has come to rescue them from the shore.

‘You see, Mrs. Dempster, how deep my need was. I went on in this way for months. I was convinced that if I ever got health and comfort, it must be from religion. I went to hear celebrated preachers, and I read religious books. But I found nothing that fitted my own need. The faith which puts the sinner in possession of salvation seemed, as I understood it, to be quite out of my reach. I had no faith; I only felt utterly wretched, under the power of habits and dispositions which had wrought hideous evil. At last, as I told you, I found a friend to whom I opened all my feelings—to whom I confessed everything. He was a man who had gone through very deep experience, and could understand the different wants of different minds. He made it clear to me that the only preparation for coming to Christ and partaking of his salvation, was that very sense of guilt and helplessness which was weighing me down. He said, You are weary and heavy-laden; well, it is you Christ invites to come to him and find rest. He asks you to cling to him, to lean on him; he does not command you to walk alone without stumbling. He does not tell you, as your fellow-men do, that you must first merit his love; he neither condemns nor reproaches you for the past, he only bids you come to him that you may have life: he bids you stretch out your hands, and take of the fulness of his love. You have only to rest on him as a child rests on its mother’s arms, and you will be upborne by his divine strength. That is what is meant by faith. Your evil habits, you feel, are too strong for you; you are unable to wrestle with them; you know beforehand you shall fall. But when once we feel our helplessness in that way, and go to the Saviour, desiring to be freed from the power as well as the punishment of sin, we are no longer left to our own strength. As long as we live in rebellion against God, desiring to have our own will, seeking happiness in the things of this world, it is as if we shut ourselves up in a crowded stifling room, where we breathe only poisoned air; but we have only to walk out under the infinite heavens, and we breathe the pure free air that gives us health, and strength, and gladness. It is just so with God’s spirit: as soon as we submit ourselves to his will, as soon as we desire to be united to him, and made pure and holy, it is as if the walls had fallen down that shut us out from God, and we are fed with his spirit, which gives us new strength.’

‘You see, Mrs. Dempster, how deep my need was. I went on like this for months. I believed that if I ever found health and comfort, it would have to be through religion. I attended sermons by famous preachers and read religious books. But nothing seemed to address my own need. The faith that supposedly gives sinners salvation felt completely out of my reach. I had no faith; I just felt utterly miserable, overwhelmed by habits and tendencies that had caused terrible harm. Finally, as I mentioned, I found a friend whom I could share all my feelings with—someone I could confess everything to. He had gone through a lot himself and could understand the various needs of different people. He helped me see that the only preparation for coming to Christ and receiving his salvation was that very sense of guilt and helplessness that was weighing me down. He said, "You are weary and burdened; it is you Christ invites to come to him and find rest. He asks you to hold on to him, to lean on him; he doesn’t demand that you walk alone without stumbling. He doesn’t tell you, like other people do, that you must first earn his love; he neither condemns nor criticizes you for your past, he simply asks you to come to him so you can have life: he invites you to reach out your hands and take from the fullness of his love. You just need to rely on him like a child relies on its mother’s arms, and you will be supported by his divine strength. That’s what faith means. You feel your bad habits are too powerful for you; you can’t fight against them; you already know you will fail. But once we recognize our helplessness in that way and turn to the Savior, wanting to be freed from both the power and the punishment of sin, we are no longer on our own. As long as we rebel against God, wanting our own way, seeking happiness in worldly things, it’s like keeping ourselves locked in a crowded, stifling room where we can only breathe toxic air; but we just need to step out into the vast sky, and we can breathe the fresh air that brings health, strength, and joy. It’s the same with God’s spirit: as soon as we surrender to his will and desire to be united with him, to be made pure and holy, it’s like the walls that kept us away from God come crashing down, and we are nourished by his spirit, which gives us renewed strength.’

‘That is what I want,’ said Janet; ‘I have left off minding about pleasure. I think I could be contented in the midst of hardship, if I felt that God cared for me, and would give me strength to lead a pure life. But tell me, did you soon find peace and strength?’

‘That’s what I want,’ said Janet; ‘I’ve stopped worrying about pleasure. I think I could be happy even in tough times if I felt that God cared for me and would give me the strength to live a good life. But tell me, did you find peace and strength quickly?’

‘Not perfect peace for a long while, but hope and trust, which is strength. No sense of pardon for myself could do away with the pain I had in thinking what I had helped to bring on another. My friend used to urge upon me that my sin against God was greater than my sin against her; but—it may be from want of deeper spiritual feeling—that has remained to this hour the sin which causes me the bitterest pang. I could never rescue Lucy; but by God’s blessing I might rescue other weak and falling souls; and that was why I entered the Church. I asked for nothing through the rest of my life but that I might be devoted to God’s work, without swerving in search of pleasure either to the right hand or to the left. It has been often a hard struggle—but God has been with me—and perhaps it may not last much longer.’

‘Not perfect peace for a long time, but hope and trust, which is strength. No amount of self-forgiveness could erase the pain I felt thinking about what I had contributed to someone else's suffering. My friend used to insist that my sin against God was greater than my sin against her; however, it may be due to my lack of deeper spiritual understanding that the guilt I carry about her remains the source of my greatest sorrow. I could never save Lucy; but with God’s help, I might save other weak and lost souls; and that’s why I became a part of the Church. I didn’t ask for anything else for the rest of my life except to dedicate myself to God’s work, without straying in search of pleasure either way. It’s often been a tough struggle—but God has been with me—and maybe it won’t last much longer.’

Mr. Tryan paused. For a moment he had forgotten Janet, and for a moment she had forgotten her own sorrows. When she recurred to herself, it was with a new feeling.

Mr. Tryan paused. For a moment, he had forgotten about Janet, and for a moment she had forgotten her own troubles. When she returned to herself, it was with a new feeling.

‘Ah, what a difference between our lives! you have been choosing pain, and working, and denying yourself; and I have been thinking only of myself. I was only angry and discontented because I had pain to bear. You never had that wicked feeling that I have had so often, did you? that God was cruel to send me trials and temptations worse than others have.’

‘Ah, what a difference between our lives! You have been choosing to face pain, working hard, and making sacrifices; while I have only been focused on myself. I was only angry and unhappy because I had to endure pain. You never felt that wicked feeling that I’ve had so often, did you? That God was cruel for putting me through trials and temptations worse than what others have faced?’

‘Yes, I had; I had very blasphemous thoughts, and I know that spirit of rebellion must have made the worst part of your lot. You did not feel how impossible it is for us to judge rightly of God’s dealings, and you opposed yourself to his will. But what do we know? We cannot foretell the working of the smallest event in our own lot; how can we presume to judge of things that are so much too high for us? There is nothing that becomes us but entire submission, perfect resignation. As long as we set up our own will and our own wisdom against God’s, we make that wall between us and his love which I have spoken of just now. But as soon as we lay ourselves entirely at his feet, we have enough light given us to guide our own steps; as the foot-soldier who hears nothing of the councils that determine the course of the great battle he is in, hears plainly enough the word of command which he must himself obey. I know, dear Mrs. Dempster, I know it is hard—the hardest thing of all, perhaps—to flesh and blood. But carry that difficulty to the Saviour along with all your other sins and weaknesses, and ask him to pour into you a spirit of submission. He enters into your struggles; he has drunk the cup of our suffering to the dregs; he knows the hard wrestling it costs us to say, “Not my will, but Thine be done.”’

‘Yes, I did; I had really rebellious thoughts, and I understand that spirit of defiance must have made the worst part of your situation. You didn’t grasp how impossible it is for us to accurately judge God’s actions, and you went against His will. But what do we really know? We can’t predict the outcome of even the smallest event in our lives; how can we dare to judge things that are so far beyond us? The only thing that suits us is complete submission and total resignation. As long as we put our own will and wisdom against God’s, we build that barrier between us and His love that I just mentioned. But as soon as we submit ourselves entirely to Him, we receive enough light to guide our own paths; just like a foot soldier who isn’t aware of the overall strategy of the battle he’s in but clearly hears the commands he needs to follow. I know, dear Mrs. Dempster, I know it’s hard—the hardest thing of all for a person. But take that difficulty to the Savior along with all your other sins and weaknesses, and ask Him to fill you with a spirit of submission. He understands your struggles; He has fully experienced our suffering; He knows the tough battle it takes for us to say, “Not my will, but Yours be done.”’

‘Pray with me,’ said Janet—‘pray now that I may have light and strength.’

‘Pray with me,’ said Janet—‘pray now that I can have clarity and strength.’

Chapter 19

Before leaving Janet, Mr. Tryan urged her strongly to send for her mother.

Before leaving Janet, Mr. Tryan strongly urged her to call for her mother.

‘Do not wound her,’ he said, ‘by shutting her out any longer from your troubles. It is right that you should be with her.’

‘Don’t hurt her,’ he said, ‘by keeping her away from your problems any longer. You should be with her.’

‘Yes, I will send for her,’ said Janet. ‘But I would rather not go to my mother’s yet, because my husband is sure to think I am there, and he might come and fetch me. I can’t go back to him ... at least, not yet. Ought I to go back to him?’

‘Yes, I’ll call for her,’ said Janet. ‘But I’d prefer not to go to my mom’s just yet because my husband will definitely think I'm there, and he might come to get me. I can’t go back to him... at least, not right now. Should I go back to him?’

‘No, certainly not, at present. Something should be done to secure you from violence. Your mother, I think, should consult some confidential friend, some man of character and experience, who might mediate between you and your husband.’

‘No, definitely not right now. Something needs to be done to protect you from harm. I believe your mother should talk to a trusted friend, someone with good character and experience, who could help mediate between you and your husband.’

‘Yes, I will send for my mother directly. But I will stay here, with Mrs. Pettifer, till something has been done. I want no one to know where I am, except you. You will come again, will you not? you will not leave me to myself?’

‘Yes, I’ll send for my mom right away. But I’ll stay here with Mrs. Pettifer until something is done. I don’t want anyone to know where I am, except you. You will come back, right? You won’t leave me on my own?’

‘You will not be left to yourself. God is with you. If I have been able to give you any comfort, it is because His power and love have been present with us. But I am very thankful that He has chosen to work through me. I shall see you again to-morrow—not before evening, for it will be Sunday, you know; but after the evening lecture I shall be at liberty. You will be in my prayers till then. In the meantime, dear Mrs. Dempster, open your heart as much as you can to your mother and Mrs. Pettifer. Cast away from you the pride that makes us shrink from acknowledging our weakness to our friends. Ask them to help you in guarding yourself from the least approach of the sin you most dread. Deprive yourself as far as possible of the very means and opportunity of committing it. Every effort of that kind made in humility and dependence is a prayer. Promise me you will do this.’

‘You won’t be left alone. God is with you. If I’ve been able to provide you any comfort, it’s because His power and love have been with us. But I’m very grateful that He has chosen to work through me. I’ll see you again tomorrow—not until evening, since it will be Sunday; but after the evening lecture, I’ll be free. You’ll be in my prayers until then. In the meantime, dear Mrs. Dempster, open your heart as much as you can to your mother and Mrs. Pettifer. Let go of the pride that makes us hesitate to admit our weaknesses to friends. Ask them to help you guard against the sin you fear the most. Limit yourself as much as possible from the means and chance of committing it. Every effort you make in humility and reliance is a prayer. Promise me you’ll do this.’

‘Yes, I promise you. I know I have always been too proud; I could never bear to speak to any one about myself. I have been proud towards my mother, even; it has always made me angry when she has seemed to take notice of my faults.’

‘Yes, I promise you. I know I've always been too proud; I could never stand to talk to anyone about myself. I've even been proud towards my mother; it has always upset me when she seemed to notice my faults.’

‘Ah, dear Mrs. Dempster, you will never say again that life is blank, and that there is nothing to live for, will you? See what work there is to be done in life, both in our own souls and for others. Surely it matters little whether we have more or less of this world’s comfort in these short years, when God is training us for the eternal enjoyment of his love. Keep that great end of life before you, and your troubles here will seem only the small hardships of a journey. Now I must go.’

‘Ah, dear Mrs. Dempster, you won’t say again that life is empty and that there’s nothing to live for, will you? Look at all the work that needs to be done in our lives, both for ourselves and for others. It really doesn’t matter much whether we have more or less comfort in this world during these short years, since God is preparing us for the eternal enjoyment of his love. Keep that important purpose of life in mind, and your troubles here will feel like just minor challenges on a journey. Now I have to go.’

Mr. Tryan rose and held out his hand. Janet took it and said, ‘God has been very good to me in sending you to me. I will trust in Him. I will try to do everything you tell me.’

Mr. Tryan stood up and extended his hand. Janet took it and said, ‘God has been really good to me by sending you my way. I will trust in Him. I will do my best to follow your advice.’

Blessed influence of one true loving human soul on another! Not calculable by algebra, not deducible by logic, but mysterious, effectual, mighty as the hidden process by which the tiny seed is quickened, and bursts forth into tall stem and broad leaf, and glowing tasseled flower. Ideas are often poor ghosts; our sun-filled eyes cannot discern them; they pass athwart us in thin vapour, and cannot make themselves felt. But sometimes they are made flesh; they breathe upon us with warm breath, they touch us with soft responsive hands, they look at us with sad sincere eyes, and speak to us in appealing tones; they are clothed in a living human soul, with all its conflicts, its faith, and its love. Then their presence is a power, then they shake us like a passion, and we are drawn after them with gentle compulsion, as flame is drawn to flame.

The powerful influence of one truly loving person on another! It's not something you can measure with math or figure out with logic, but it's mysterious, effective, and as strong as the unseen process that helps a tiny seed grow into a tall plant with broad leaves and vibrant flowers. Ideas often feel like weak ghosts; our sunlit eyes can't really see them; they drift by us like thin mist and can't truly be felt. But sometimes, they come to life; they breathe warmth into our lives, touch us with gentle hands, look at us with sincere, sad eyes, and speak to us in heartfelt tones; they embody a living human soul, complete with its struggles, its beliefs, and its love. In those moments, their presence is powerful, stirring us like a deep passion, and we find ourselves drawn to them irresistibly, just like fire is drawn to fire.

Janet’s dark grand face, still fatigued, had become quite calm, and looked up, as she sat, with a humble childlike expression at the thin blond face and slightly sunken grey eyes which now shone with hectic brightness. She might have been taken for an image of passionate strength beaten and worn with conflict; and he for an image of the self-renouncing faith which has soothed that conflict into rest. As he looked at the sweet submissive face, he remembered its look of despairing anguish, and his heart was very full as he turned away from her. ‘Let me only live to see this work confirmed, and then ...’

Janet’s tired, dark face had relaxed and taken on a calm look as she sat there, gazing up with a humble, childlike expression at the thin, blond face and slightly sunken gray eyes that now glimmered with feverish brightness. She could have easily been seen as a symbol of passionate strength, worn down by struggle, while he appeared as a representation of the selfless faith that had eased that struggle into peace. As he gazed at her sweet, submissive face, he remembered the look of despair and anguish it once held, and his heart felt heavy as he turned away from her. “Let me just live to see this work validated, and then ...”

It was nearly ten o’clock when Mr. Tryan left, but Janet was bent on sending for her mother; so Mrs. Pettifer, as the readiest plan, put on her bonnet and went herself to fetch Mrs. Raynor. The mother had been too long used to expect that every fresh week would be more painful than the last, for Mrs. Pettifer’s news to come upon her with the shock of a surprise. Quietly, without any show of distress, she made up a bundle of clothes, and, telling her little maid that she should not return home that night, accompanied Mrs. Pettifer back in silence.

It was almost ten o’clock when Mr. Tryan left, but Janet was determined to call for her mother; so Mrs. Pettifer, thinking it was the quickest solution, put on her bonnet and went to get Mrs. Raynor herself. The mother had long been conditioned to expect that every new week would be more painful than the last, so Mrs. Pettifer’s news didn’t hit her like a shock. Calmly, without showing any distress, she packed a bundle of clothes and told her little maid that she wouldn’t be coming home that night, then followed Mrs. Pettifer back in silence.

When they entered the parlour, Janet, wearied out, had sunk to sleep in the large chair, which stood with its back to the door. The noise of the opening door disturbed her, and she was looking round wonderingly when Mrs. Raynor came up to her chair, and said, ‘It’s your mother, Janet.’

When they came into the living room, Janet, exhausted, had fallen asleep in the big chair that faced away from the door. The sound of the door opening woke her up, and she looked around in confusion when Mrs. Raynor approached her chair and said, “It’s your mom, Janet.”

‘Mother, dear mother!’ Janet cried, clasping her closely. ‘I have not been a good tender child to you, but I will be—I will not grieve you any more.’

‘Mom, dear Mom!’ Janet cried, hugging her tightly. ‘I haven’t been a good, attentive child to you, but I will be—I won’t upset you anymore.’

The calmness which had withstood a new sorrow was overcome by a new joy, and the mother burst into tears.

The calmness that had survived a new sorrow was replaced by a new joy, and the mother started crying.

Chapter 20

On Sunday morning the rain had ceased, and Janet, looking out of the bedroom window, saw, above the house-tops, a shining mass of white cloud rolling under the far-away blue sky. It was going to be a lovely April day. The fresh sky, left clear and calm after the long vexation of wind and rain, mingled its mild influence with Janet’s new thoughts and prospects. She felt a buoyant courage that surprised herself, after the cold crushing weight of despondency which had oppressed her the day before: she could think even of her husband’s rage without the old overpowering dread. For a delicious hope—the hope of purification and inward peace—had entered into Janet’s soul, and made it spring-time there as well as in the outer world.

On Sunday morning, the rain had stopped, and Janet, looking out of the bedroom window, saw a bright mass of white clouds rolling beneath the distant blue sky above the rooftops. It was going to be a beautiful April day. The clear and calm sky, now free from the long annoyance of wind and rain, blended its gentle influence with Janet’s fresh thoughts and possibilities. She felt a buoyant courage that surprised her, especially after the heavy weight of despair that had burdened her the day before: she could even think of her husband’s anger without the old overpowering fear. A wonderful hope—the hope for purification and inner peace—had entered Janet’s heart, making it feel like springtime inside her as well as in the world outside.

While her mother was brushing and coiling up her thick black hair—a favourite task, because it seemed to renew the days of her daughter’s girlhood—Janet told how she came to send for Mr. Tryan, how she had remembered their meeting at Sally Martin’s in the autumn, and had felt an irresistible desire to see him, and tell him her sins and her troubles.

While her mom was brushing and twisting her thick black hair—a favorite activity because it seemed to bring back memories of her daughter’s childhood—Janet shared how she decided to reach out to Mr. Tryan, how she remembered meeting him at Sally Martin’s in the fall, and felt an overwhelming urge to see him and share her sins and troubles.

‘I see God’s goodness now, mother, in ordering it so that we should meet in that way, to overcome my prejudice against him, and make me feel that he was good, and then bringing it back to my mind in the depth of my trouble. You know what foolish things I used to say about him, knowing nothing of him all the while. And yet he was the man who was to give me comfort and help when everything else failed me. It is wonderful how I feel able to speak to him as I never have done to any one before; and how every word he says to me enters my heart and has a new meaning for me. I think it must be because he has felt life more deeply than others, and has a deeper faith. I believe everything he says at once. His words come to me like rain on the parched ground. It has always seemed to me before as if I could see behind people’s words, as one sees behind a screen; but in Mr. Tryan it is his very soul that speaks.’

‘I see God’s goodness now, Mom, in arranging it so that we would meet like that, to help me get past my prejudice against him and realize that he was a good person, and then reminding me of it when I was in the depths of my trouble. You know the silly things I used to say about him, not knowing anything about him at all. And yet he was the one who was there to give me comfort and help when everything else let me down. It’s amazing how I can talk to him in a way I’ve never been able to with anyone else; and how every word he says to me resonates in my heart and carries new meaning. I think it must be because he has experienced life more profoundly than others and has a deeper faith. I believe everything he says immediately. His words feel like rain on dry ground to me. Before, it always seemed like I could see behind people’s words, like looking behind a screen; but with Mr. Tryan, it’s his very soul that speaks.’

‘Well, my dear child, I love and bless him for your sake, if he has given you any comfort. I never believed the harm people said of him, though I had no desire to go and hear him, for I am contented with old-fashioned ways. I find more good teaching than I can practise in reading my Bible at home, and hearing Mr. Crewe at church. But your wants are different, my dear, and we are not all led by the same road. That was certainly good advice of Mr. Tryan’s you told me of last night—that we should consult some one that may interfere for you with your husband; and I have been turning it over in my mind while I’ve been lying awake in the night. I think nobody will do so well as Mr. Benjamin Landor, for we must have a man that knows the law, and that Robert is rather afraid of. And perhaps he could bring about an agreement for you to live apart. Your husband’s bound to maintain you, you know; and, if you liked, we could move away from Milby and live somewhere else.’

‘Well, my dear child, I love and bless him for your sake, if he has given you any comfort. I never believed the bad things people said about him, even though I didn’t want to go and hear him, since I’m happy with traditional ways. I find more good teaching than I can practice by reading my Bible at home and listening to Mr. Crewe at church. But your needs are different, my dear, and we don’t all take the same path. That advice from Mr. Tryan that you told me about last night was definitely good—that we should consult someone who can help with your husband; and I’ve been thinking it over while lying awake at night. I believe no one would do it better than Mr. Benjamin Landor, since we need a man who knows the law and whom Robert is a bit afraid of. And maybe he could help arrange for you to live separately. Your husband is required to support you, you know; and if you wanted, we could move away from Milby and live somewhere else.’

‘O, mother, we must do nothing yet; I must think about it a little longer. I have a different feeling this morning from what I had yesterday. Something seems to tell me that I must go back to Robert some time—after a little while. I loved him once better than all the world, and I have never had any children to love. There were things in me that were wrong, and I should like to make up for them if I can.’

‘Oh, Mom, we shouldn’t do anything yet; I need to think about it a bit longer. I feel different this morning than I did yesterday. Something tells me that I need to go back to Robert sometime—after a little while. I loved him once more than anything, and I’ve never had any kids to love. There were things in my past that were wrong, and I’d like to make up for them if I can.’

‘Well, my dear, I won’t persuade you. Think of it a little longer. But something must be done soon.’

‘Well, my dear, I won’t try to convince you. Think about it a bit more. But something needs to happen soon.’

‘How I wish I had my bonnet, and shawl, and black gown here!’ said Janet, after a few minutes’ silence. ‘I should like to go to Paddiford Church and hear Mr. Tryan. There would be no fear of my meeting Robert, for he never goes out on a Sunday morning.’

‘How I wish I had my hat, shawl, and black dress here!’ said Janet, after a few minutes of silence. ‘I’d love to go to Paddiford Church and hear Mr. Tryan. There’d be no worry about running into Robert since he never goes out on a Sunday morning.’

‘I’m afraid it would not do for me to go to the house and fetch your clothes,’ said Mrs. Raynor.

‘I’m afraid it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to go to the house and get your clothes,’ said Mrs. Raynor.

‘O no, no! I must stay quietly here while you two go to church. I will be Mrs. Pettifer’s maid, and get the dinner ready for her by the time she comes back. Dear good woman! She was so tender to me when she took me in, in the night, mother, and all the next day, when I couldn’t speak a word to her to thank her.’

‘Oh no, no! I have to stay here quietly while you two go to church. I’ll be Mrs. Pettifer’s maid and get dinner ready for her by the time she gets back. What a kind woman! She was so caring when she took me in at night, and all the next day when I couldn’t say a word to thank her.’

Chapter 21

The servants at Dempster’s felt some surprise when the morning, noon, and evening of Saturday had passed, and still their mistress did not reappear.

The staff at Dempster's were a bit surprised when the morning, afternoon, and evening of Saturday went by, and their mistress still hadn’t come back.

‘It’s very odd,’ said Kitty, the housemaid, as she trimmed her next week’s cap, while Betty, the middle-aged cook, looked on with folded arms. ‘Do you think as Mrs. Raynor was ill, and sent for the missis afore we was up?’

‘It’s strange,’ said Kitty, the housemaid, as she trimmed her cap for next week, while Betty, the middle-aged cook, looked on with her arms crossed. ‘Do you think Mrs. Raynor was unwell and called for the missis before we woke up?’

‘O,’ said Betty, ‘if it had been that, she’d ha’ been back’ards an’ for’ards three or four times afore now; leastways, she’d ha’ sent little Ann to let us know.’

‘Oh,’ said Betty, ‘if that were the case, she would have come back and forth three or four times by now; at the very least, she would have sent little Ann to tell us.’

‘There’s summat up more nor usual between her an’ the master, that you may depend on,’ said Kitty. ‘I know those clothes as was lying i’ the drawing-room yesterday, when the company was come, meant summat. I shouldn’t wonder if that was what they’ve had a fresh row about. She’s p’raps gone away, an’s made up her mind not to come back again.’

‘There’s something going on between her and the master that you can count on,’ said Kitty. ‘I know those clothes that were lying in the drawing room yesterday when the guests arrived meant something. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what they had another argument about. Maybe she’s left and decided not to come back again.’

‘An’ i’ the right on’t, too,’ said Betty. ‘I’d ha’ overrun him long afore now, if it had been me. I wouldn’t stan’ bein’ mauled as she is by no husband, not if he was the biggest lord i’ the land. It’s poor work bein’ a wife at that price: I’d sooner be a cook wi’out perkises, an’ hev roast, an’ boil, an’ fry, an’ bake, all to mind at once. She may well do as she does. I know I’m glad enough of a drop o’ summat myself when I’m plagued. I feel very low, like, to-night; I think I shall put my beer i’ the saucepan an’ warm it.’

‘And if it were me, I would have left him a long time ago,’ said Betty. ‘I wouldn’t put up with being treated like she is by any husband, even if he was the richest lord in the land. It’s tough being a wife at that cost: I’d rather be a cook without fancy frills, and have to roast, boil, fry, and bake all at once. She has every reason to do what she does. I know I’m more than happy to have a drink myself when I’m stressed. I’m feeling really down tonight; I think I’ll heat my beer in the saucepan.’

‘What a one you are for warmin’ your beer, Betty! I couldn’t abide it—nasty bitter stuff!’

‘What a person you are for warming your beer, Betty! I can’t stand it—awful bitter stuff!’

‘It’s fine talkin’; if you was a cook you’d know what belongs to bein’ a cook. It’s none so nice to hev a sinkin’ at your stomach, I can tell you. You wouldn’t think so much o’ fine ribbins i’ your cap then.’

‘It’s easy to talk; if you were a cook, you’d understand what it means to be a cook. It’s not so pleasant to have a sinking feeling in your stomach, I’ll tell you that. You wouldn’t care as much about fancy ribbons in your cap then.’

‘Well, well, Betty, don’t be grumpy. Liza Thomson, as is at Phipps’s, said to me last Sunday, “I wonder you’ll stay at Dempster’s,” she says, “such goins-on as there is.” But I says, “There’s things to put up wi’ in ivery place, an’ you may change, an’ change, an’ not better yourself when all’s said an’ done.” Lors! why, Liza told me herself as Mrs. Phipps was as skinny as skinny i’ the kitchen, for all they keep so much company; and as for follyers, she’s as cross as a turkey-cock if she finds ’em out. There’s nothin’ o’ that sort i’ the missis. How pretty she come an’ spoke to Job last Sunday! There isn’t a good-natur’der woman i’ the world, that’s my belief—an’ hansome too. I al’ys think there’s nobody looks half so well as the missis when she’s got her ’air done nice. Lors! I wish I’d got long ’air like her—my ’air’s a-comin’ off dreadful.’

‘Well, come on, Betty, don’t be in a bad mood. Liza Thomson, who’s at Phipps’s, told me last Sunday, “I can’t believe you’re still at Dempster’s,” she says, “with all the drama happening there.” But I said, “There are things to deal with everywhere, and you can switch places as much as you want, but it might not make things any better.” My goodness! Liza herself told me that Mrs. Phipps is as skinny as can be in the kitchen, even though they entertain so much; and when it comes to followers, she’s as irritable as a turkey-cock if she catches them. There’s nothing like that with the missus. How nice she came and spoke to Job last Sunday! I truly believe there’s no kinder woman in the world—and she’s beautiful too. I always think no one looks half as good as the missus when her hair is done nicely. Goodness! I wish I had long hair like hers—mine is falling out terribly.’

‘There’ll be fine work to-morrow, I expect,’ said Betty, ‘when the master comes home, an’ Dawes a-swearin’ as he’ll niver do a stroke o’ work for him again. It’ll be good fun if he sets the justice on him for cuttin’ him wi’ the whip; the master’ll p’raps get his comb cut for once in his life!’

‘There will be some interesting work tomorrow, I expect,’ said Betty, ‘when the boss comes home, and Dawes swearing that he’ll never lift a finger for him again. It’ll be fun if he gets the law involved for whipping him; maybe the boss will finally get what he deserves for once in his life!’

‘Why, he was in a temper like a fiend this morning,’ said Kitty. ‘I daresay it was along o’ what had happened wi’ the missis. We shall hev a pretty house wi’ him if she doesn’t come back—he’ll want to be leatherin’ us, I shouldn’t wonder. He must hev somethin’ t’ ill-use when he’s in a passion.’

‘He was in such a bad mood this morning,’ said Kitty. ‘I bet it’s because of what happened with the missus. We’re going to have a rough time with him if she doesn’t come back—he’ll probably want to take it out on us, I wouldn’t be surprised. He needs something to lash out at when he’s angry.’

‘I’d tek care he didn’t leather me—no, not if he was my husban’ ten times o’er; I’d pour hot drippin’ on him sooner. But the missis hasn’t a sperrit like me. He’ll mek her come back, you’ll see; he’ll come round her somehow. There’s no likelihood of her coming back to-night, though; so I should think we might fasten the doors and go to bed when we like.’

‘I’d make sure he didn’t beat me—no, not if he were my husband ten times over; I’d pour hot liquid on him first. But the lady doesn’t have a spirit like mine. He’ll make her come back, you’ll see; he’ll find a way to charm her. There’s no chance of her coming back tonight, though; so I think we could lock the doors and go to bed whenever we want.’

On Sunday morning, however, Kitty’s mind became disturbed by more definite and alarming conjectures about her mistress. While Betty, encouraged by the prospect of unwonted leisure, was sitting down to continue a letter which had long lain unfinished between the leaves of her Bible, Kitty came running into the kitchen and said,—‘Lor! Betty, I’m all of a tremble; you might knock me down wi’ a feather. I’ve just looked into the missis’s wardrobe, an’ there’s both her bonnets. She must ha’ gone wi’out her bonnet. An’ then I remember as her night-clothes wasn’t on the bed yisterday mornin’; I thought she’d put ’em away to be washed; but she hedn’t, for I’ve been lookin’. It’s my belief he’s murdered her, and shut her up i’ that closet as he keeps locked al’ys. He’s capible on’t.’

On Sunday morning, however, Kitty’s thoughts were disturbed by more specific and frightening ideas about her mistress. While Betty, excited about the chance for some free time, sat down to finish a letter that had been sitting unfinished between the pages of her Bible, Kitty came running into the kitchen and said, “Oh my! Betty, I’m shaking like a leaf; you could knock me over with a feather. I just looked in the missis’s wardrobe, and both her bonnets are there. She must have gone out without her bonnet. And then I remember her nightclothes weren’t on the bed yesterday morning; I thought she’d put them away to be washed, but she didn’t, because I’ve been looking. I believe he’s murdered her and shut her up in that closet he always keeps locked. He’s capable of it.”

‘Lors-ha’-massy, why you’d better run to Mrs. Raynor’s an’ see if she’s there, arter all. It was p’raps all a lie.’

‘Then you’d better run to Mrs. Raynor’s and see if she’s there, after all. It might all have been a lie.’

Mrs. Raynor had returned home to give directions to her little maiden, when Kitty, with the elaborate manifestation of alarm which servants delight in, rushed in without knocking, and, holding her hands on her heart as if the consequences to that organ were likely to be very serious, said,—‘If you please ’m, is the missis here?’

Mrs. Raynor had come back home to give instructions to her young maid when Kitty, displaying the dramatic panic that servants are known for, burst in without knocking. With her hands on her heart as if it were in serious danger, she said, “Excuse me, ma’am, is the mistress here?”

‘No, Kitty; why are you come to ask?’

'No, Kitty; why have you come to ask?'

‘Because ’m, she’s niver been at home since yesterday mornin’, since afore we was up; an’ we thought somethin’ must ha’ happened to her.’

‘Because she’s never been home since yesterday morning, before we even got up; and we thought something must have happened to her.’

‘No, don’t be frightened, Kitty. Your mistress is quite safe; I know where she is. Is your master at home?’

‘No, don’t be scared, Kitty. Your boss is perfectly safe; I know where she is. Is your boss at home?’

‘No ’m; he went out yesterday mornin’, an’ said he shouldn’t be back afore to-night.’

‘No, ma'am; he left yesterday morning and said he wouldn't be back before tonight.’

‘Well, Kitty, there’s nothing the matter with your mistress. You needn’t say anything to any one about her being away from home. I shall call presently and fetch her gown and bonnet. She wants them to put on.’

‘Well, Kitty, there’s nothing wrong with your mistress. You don’t need to tell anyone about her being away from home. I’ll come by soon and pick up her dress and hat. She wants to wear them.’

Kitty, perceiving there was a mystery she was not to inquire into, returned to Orchard Street, really glad to know that her mistress was safe, but disappointed nevertheless at being told that she was not to be frightened. She was soon followed by Mrs. Raynor in quest of the gown and bonnet. The good mother, on learning that Dempster was not at home, had at once thought that she could gratify Janet’s wish to go to Paddiford Church.

Kitty, realizing there was a mystery she wasn’t supposed to investigate, went back to Orchard Street, genuinely relieved to know that her mistress was safe, but still let down by being told not to be scared. She was soon joined by Mrs. Raynor, who was looking for the gown and bonnet. The kind mother, upon finding out that Dempster was not at home, immediately thought she could fulfill Janet’s wish to go to Paddiford Church.

‘See, my dear,’ she said, as she entered Mrs. Pettifer’s parlour; ‘I’ve brought you your black clothes. Robert’s not at home, and is not coming till this evening. I couldn’t find your best black gown, but this will do. I wouldn’t bring anything else, you know; but there can’t be any objection to my fetching clothes to cover you. You can go to Paddiford Church, now, if you like; and I will go with you.’

‘Look, my dear,’ she said, as she walked into Mrs. Pettifer’s living room; ‘I’ve brought you your black clothes. Robert’s not home and won’t be back until this evening. I couldn’t find your best black dress, but this will work. I wouldn’t bring anything else, you know; but there’s no reason I can’t bring clothes for you. You can go to Paddiford Church now if you want, and I’ll go with you.’

‘That’s a dear mother! Then we’ll all three go together. Come and help me to get ready. Good little Mrs. Crewe! It will vex her sadly that I should go to hear Mr. Tryan. But I must kiss her, and make it up with her.’

‘That’s a sweet mom! Then we’ll all three go together. Come help me get ready. Such a nice Mrs. Crewe! It will upset her quite a bit that I’m going to hear Mr. Tryan. But I have to kiss her and make things right with her.’

Many eyes were turned on Janet with a look of surprise as she walked up the aisle of Paddiford Church. She felt a little tremor at the notice she knew she was exciting, but it was a strong satisfaction to her that she had been able at once to take a step that would let her neighbours know her change of feeling towards Mr. Tryan: she had left herself now no room for proud reluctance or weak hesitation. The walk through the sweet spring air had stimulated all her fresh hopes, all her yearning desires after purity, strength, and peace. She thought she should find a new meaning in the prayers this morning; her full heart, like an overflowing river, wanted those ready-made channels to pour itself into; and then she should hear Mr. Tryan again, and his words would fall on her like precious balm, as they had done last night. There was a liquid brightness in her eyes as they rested on the mere walls, the pews, the weavers and colliers in their Sunday clothes. The commonest things seemed to touch the spring of love within her, just as, when we are suddenly released from an acute absorbing bodily pain, our heart and senses leap out in new freedom; we think even the noise of streets harmonious, and are ready to hug the tradesman who is wrapping up our change. A door had been opened in Janet’s cold dark prison of self-despair, and the golden light of morning was pouring in its slanting beams through the blessed opening. There was sunlight in the world; there was a divine love caring for her; it had given her an earnest of good things: it had been preparing comfort for her in the very moment when she had thought herself most forsaken.

Many people looked at Janet with surprise as she walked up the aisle of Paddiford Church. She felt a little tremor from the attention she knew she was getting, but it brought her strong satisfaction that she had taken a step to show her neighbors how she felt about Mr. Tryan: she had left no room for proud reluctance or weak hesitation. The walk through the sweet spring air had lifted all her fresh hopes and her deep desires for purity, strength, and peace. She thought she would find new meaning in the prayers that morning; her full heart, like an overflowing river, wanted those ready-made channels to pour itself into; and then she would hear Mr. Tryan again, and his words would feel like precious balm, just as they had the night before. There was a bright light in her eyes as they rested on the plain walls, the pews, and the weavers and miners in their Sunday clothes. Even the simplest things seemed to stir the spring of love within her, just like when we are suddenly free from intense physical pain, our heart and senses leap with newfound freedom; we even think the noise of the streets is harmonious and feel like hugging the clerk who is putting our change in a bag. A door had opened in Janet’s cold dark prison of despair, and the golden light of morning was streaming in its slanting beams through the blessed opening. There was sunlight in the world; there was a divine love caring for her; it had given her a promise of good things: it was preparing comfort for her at the very moment when she felt most abandoned.

Mr. Tryan might well rejoice when his eye rested on her as he entered his desk; but he rejoiced with trembling. He could not look at the sweet hopeful face without remembering its yesterday’s look of agony; and there was the possibility that that look might return.

Mr. Tryan might have felt a sense of joy when he saw her as he approached his desk, but that joy came with hesitation. He couldn't gaze at her sweet, hopeful face without recalling how it had looked in anguish just the day before; and there was a chance that look could come back.

Janet’s appearance at church was greeted not only by wondering eyes, but by kind hearts, and after the service several of Mr. Tryan’s hearers with whom she had been on cold terms of late, contrived to come up to her and take her by the hand.

Janet’s arrival at church was met not just with curious looks, but also with warm hearts, and after the service, several of Mr. Tryan’s congregation members, with whom she had been distant recently, managed to approach her and shake her hand.

‘Mother,’ said Miss Linnet, ‘do let us go and speak to Mrs. Dempster. I’m sure there’s a great change in her mind towards Mr. Tryan. I noticed how eagerly she listened to the sermon, and she’s come with Mrs. Pettifer, you see. We ought to go and give her a welcome among us.’

‘Mom,’ said Miss Linnet, ‘let’s go talk to Mrs. Dempster. I’m sure she feels differently about Mr. Tryan now. I saw how attentively she listened to the sermon, and she came with Mrs. Pettifer, you know. We should go and welcome her among us.’

‘Why, my dear, we’ve never spoke friendly these five year. You know she’s been as haughty as anything since I quarrelled with her husband. However, let bygones be bygones: I’ve no grudge again’ the poor thing, more particular as she must ha’ flew in her husband’s face to come an’ hear Mr. Tryan. Yes, let us go an’ speak to her.’

‘Why, my dear, we’ve never spoken nicely in these five years. You know she’s been as proud as can be since I had that fight with her husband. However, let’s put the past behind us: I don’t hold anything against the poor thing, especially since she must have confronted her husband to come and hear Mr. Tryan. Yes, let’s go and talk to her.’

The friendly words and looks touched Janet a little too keenly, and Mrs. Pettifer wisely hurried her home by the least-frequented road. When they reached home, a violent fit of weeping, followed by continuous lassitude, showed that the emotions of the morning had overstrained her nerves. She was suffering, too, from the absence of the long-accustomed stimulus which she had promised Mr. Tryan not to touch again. The poor thing was conscious of this, and dreaded her own weakness, as the victim of intermittent insanity dreads the oncoming of the old illusion.

The kind words and looks affected Janet a bit too deeply, and Mrs. Pettifer wisely took her home by the less-traveled route. When they got home, a sudden outburst of tears, followed by constant fatigue, showed that the events of the morning had overwhelmed her nerves. She was also struggling with the lack of the familiar boost that she had promised Mr. Tryan not to use again. The poor thing was aware of this and feared her own weakness, just like someone with intermittent insanity fears the return of their old delusion.

‘Mother,’ she whispered, when Mrs. Raynor urged her to lie down and rest all the afternoon, that she might be the better prepared to see Mr. Tryan in the evening—‘mother, don’t let me have anything if I ask for it.’

‘Mom,’ she whispered, when Mrs. Raynor encouraged her to lie down and rest all afternoon so she would be better prepared to see Mr. Tryan in the evening—‘mom, don’t let me have anything if I ask for it.’

In the mother’s mind there was the same anxiety, and in her it was mingled with another fear—the fear lest Janet, in her present excited state of mind, should take some premature step in relation to her husband, which might lead back to all the former troubles. The hint she had thrown out in the morning of her wish to return to him after a time, showed a new eagerness for difficult duties, that only made the long-saddened sober mother tremble. But as evening approached, Janet’s morning heroism all forsook her: her imagination influenced by physical depression as well as by mental habits, was haunted by the vision of her husband’s return home, and she began to shudder with the yesterday’s dread. She heard him calling her, she saw him going to her mother’s to look for her, she felt sure he would find her out, and burst in upon her.

In the mother's mind, there was the same anxiety, mixed with another fear—that Janet, in her current excited state, might take some hasty action regarding her husband, which could lead back to all the previous troubles. The hint she had dropped in the morning about wanting to return to him after a while revealed a new eagerness for tough responsibilities that only made the long-saddened, serious mother anxious. But as evening came, Janet's morning courage faded away: her imagination, affected by physical exhaustion and mental habits, was haunted by the thought of her husband coming home, and she began to shudder with yesterday’s dread. She heard him calling for her, imagined him going to her mother’s to look for her, and felt certain he would figure out where she was and burst in on her.

‘Pray, pray, don’t leave me, don’t go to church,’ she said to Mrs. Pettifer. ‘You and mother both stay with me till Mr. Tryan comes.’

‘Please, please don’t leave me, don’t go to church,’ she said to Mrs. Pettifer. ‘You and mom both stay with me until Mr. Tryan arrives.’

At twenty minutes past six the church bells were ringing for the evening service, and soon the congregation was streaming along Orchard Street in the mellow sunset. The street opened toward the west. The red half-sunken sun shed a solemn splendour on the everyday houses, and crimsoned the windows of Dempster’s projecting upper storey.

At twenty minutes after six, the church bells were chiming for the evening service, and soon the congregation was flowing down Orchard Street in the warm sunset. The street faced west. The red, half-set sun cast a solemn beauty on the ordinary houses and painted the windows of Dempster’s jutting upper floor a deep crimson.

Suddenly a loud murmur arose and spread along the stream of church-goers, and one group after another paused and looked backward. At the far end of the street, men, accompanied by a miscellaneous group of onlookers, were slowly carrying something—a body stretched on a door. Slowly they passed along the middle of the street, lined all the way with awe-struck faces, till they turned aside and paused in the red sunlight before Dempster’s door.

Suddenly, a loud murmur rose and spread among the stream of church-goers, and one group after another stopped and looked back. At the far end of the street, men, accompanied by a mixed group of onlookers, were slowly carrying something—a body on a door. They moved slowly down the center of the street, lined with stunned faces, until they turned aside and stopped in the red sunlight in front of Dempster’s door.

It was Dempster’s body. No one knew whether he was alive or dead.

It was Dempster's body. No one knew if he was alive or dead.

Chapter 22

It was probably a hard saying to the Pharisees, that ‘there is more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, than over ninety and nine just persons that need no repentance.’ And certain ingenious philosophers of our own day must surely take offence at a joy so entirely out of correspondence with arithmetical proportion. But a heart that has been taught by its own sore struggles to bleed for the woes of another—that has ‘learned pity through suffering’—is likely to find very imperfect satisfaction in the ‘balance of happiness,’ ‘doctrine of compensations,’ and other short and easy methods of obtaining thorough complacency in the presence of pain; and for such a heart that saying will not be altogether dark. The emotions, I have observed, are but slightly influenced by arithmetical considerations: the mother, when her sweet lisping little ones have all been taken from her one after another, and she is hanging over her last dead babe, finds small consolation in the fact that the tiny dimpled corpse is but one of a necessary average, and that a thousand other babes brought into the world at the same time are doing well, and are likely to live; and if you stood beside that mother—if you knew her pang and shared it—it is probable you would be equally unable to see a ground of complacency in statistics.

It was probably a tough thing for the Pharisees to hear that "there's more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who don't need to repent." And certain clever philosophers today would likely take issue with a joy that doesn’t align with mathematical proportions. However, a heart that has learned to empathize with others through its own struggles—one that has "learned pity through suffering"—is not likely to find much satisfaction in the "balance of happiness," "doctrine of compensations," or other quick and easy ways to feel okay in the face of pain; for such a heart, that saying won’t seem entirely dark. I've noticed that emotions are only slightly affected by numerical considerations: when a mother has lost all her sweet, playful little ones one after another, and she is leaning over her last dead baby, she finds little comfort in the fact that this tiny, dimpled corpse is just one of an average number, and that a thousand other babies born around the same time are doing fine and likely to survive; if you stood beside that mother—if you understood her pain and felt it with her—you would probably struggle to find any comfort in statistics.

Doubtless a complacency resting on that basis is highly rational; but emotion, I fear, is obstinately irrational: it insists on caring for individuals; it absolutely refuses to adopt the quantitative view of human anguish, and to admit that thirteen happy lives are a set-off against twelve miserable lives, which leaves a clear balance on the side of satisfaction. This is the inherent imbecility of feeling, and one must be a great philosopher to have got quite clear of all that, and to have emerged into the serene air of pure intellect, in which it is evident that individuals really exist for no other purpose than that abstractions may be drawn from them—abstractions that may rise from heaps of ruined lives like the sweet savour of a sacrifice in the nostrils of philosophers, and of a philosophic Deity. And so it comes to pass that for the man who knows sympathy because he has known sorrow, that old, old saying about the joy of angels over the repentant sinner outweighing their joy over the ninety-nine just, has a meaning which does not jar with the language of his own heart. It only tells him, that for angels too there is a transcendent value in human pain, which refuses to be settled by equations; that the eyes of angels too are turned away from the serene happiness of the righteous to bend with yearning pity on the poor erring soul wandering in the desert where no water is: that for angels too the misery of one casts so tremendous a shadow as to eclipse the bliss of ninety-nine.

Surely a comfort based on that idea makes sense; however, emotion is stubbornly irrational: it insists on caring for individuals and completely rejects the idea of comparing human suffering in terms of numbers. It won’t accept that thirteen happy lives can balance out twelve miserable lives, which would suggest a clear preference for satisfaction. This illustrates the inherent foolishness of feeling, and it takes a great philosopher to rise above all that and reach the calm realm of pure thought, where it becomes clear that individuals exist merely for the sake of drawing abstract concepts from them—concepts that can emerge from piles of ruined lives like a sweet scent of sacrifice in the nostrils of philosophers and a philosophical Deity. Thus, for someone who understands sympathy because they’ve experienced sorrow, that age-old saying about the joy of angels over a repentant sinner being greater than their joy over ninety-nine just individuals holds true without conflicting with the feelings in their heart. It simply conveys that for angels too, there is a profound value in human pain that cannot be quantified; that the gaze of angels also turns away from the calm joy of the righteous to look with compassionate concern at the lost soul wandering in a barren desert: that for angels too, the suffering of one casts such a vast shadow that it can overshadow the happiness of ninety-nine.

Mr. Tryan had gone through the initiation of suffering: it is no wonder, then, that Janet’s restoration was the work that lay nearest his heart; and that, weary as he was in body when he entered the vestry after the evening service, he was impatient to fulfil the promise of seeing her. His experience enabled him to divine—what was the fact—that the hopefulness of the morning would be followed by a return of depression and discouragement; and his sense of the inward and outward difficulties in the way of her restoration was so keen, that he could only find relief from the foreboding it excited by lifting up his heart in prayer. There are unseen elements which often frustrate our wisest calculations—which raise up the sufferer from the edge of the grave, contradicting the prophecies of the clear-sighted physician, and fulfilling the blind clinging hopes of affection; such unseen elements Mr. Tryan called the Divine Will, and filled up the margin of ignorance which surrounds all our knowledge with the feelings of trust and resignation. Perhaps the profoundest philosophy could hardly fill it up better.

Mr. Tryan had gone through the initiation of suffering: it’s no surprise, then, that Janet’s recovery was the thing he cared about most; and that, as tired as he was when he entered the vestry after the evening service, he was eager to keep his promise of seeing her. His experience allowed him to predict—what was indeed true—that the optimism of the morning would be followed by a return of sadness and discouragement; and his awareness of the personal and external challenges to her recovery was so intense that the only way he could find relief from the anxiety it caused was by lifting his heart in prayer. There are unseen factors that often disrupt our best plans—that bring the suffering back from the brink of death, contradicting the predictions of the sharp-eyed doctor, and fulfilling the blind hopes of love; these unseen factors Mr. Tryan referred to as the Divine Will, which filled the gaps in our understanding with feelings of trust and acceptance. Maybe the deepest philosophy couldn't do it any better.

His mind was occupied in this way as he was absently taking off his gown, when Mr. Landor startled him by entering the vestry and asking abruptly, ‘Have you heard the news about Dempster?’

His mind was occupied like this as he was absentmindedly taking off his gown when Mr. Landor surprised him by coming into the vestry and asking suddenly, ‘Have you heard the news about Dempster?’

‘No,’ said Mr. Tryan, anxiously; ‘what is it?’

‘No,’ said Mr. Tryan, nervously; ‘what’s going on?’

‘He has been thrown out of his gig in the Bridge Way, and he was taken up for dead. They were carrying him home as we were coming to church, and I stayed behind to see what I could do. I went in to speak to Mrs. Dempster, and prepare her a little, but she was not at home. Dempster is not dead, however, he was stunned with the fall. Pilgrim came in a few minutes, and he says the right leg is broken in two places. It’s likely to be a terrible case, with his state of body. It seems he was more drunk than usual, and they say he came along the Bridge Way flogging his horse like a madman, till at last it gave a sudden wheel, and he was pitched out. The servants said they didn’t know where Mrs. Dempster was: she had been away from home since yesterday morning; but Mrs. Raynor knew.’

‘He got kicked out of his gig on the Bridge Way, and people thought he was dead. They were carrying him home as we were heading to church, so I stayed behind to see what I could do. I went in to talk to Mrs. Dempster and prepare her a little, but she wasn’t home. Dempster isn’t dead, though; he was just stunned from the fall. Pilgrim came in a few minutes later and said his right leg is broken in two places. It’s likely to be a serious situation, given his condition. Apparently, he was more drunk than usual, and they say he was coming down the Bridge Way beating his horse like a madman, until it suddenly reared, and he got thrown out. The staff said they didn’t know where Mrs. Dempster was; she’d been gone since yesterday morning, but Mrs. Raynor knew.’

‘I know where she is,’ said Mr. Tryan; ‘but I think it will be better for her not to be told of this just yet.’

‘I know where she is,’ said Mr. Tryan; ‘but I think it would be better for her not to be informed of this just yet.’

‘Ah, that was what Pilgrim said, and so I didn’t go round to Mrs. Raynor’s. He said it would be all the better if Mrs. Dempster could be kept out of the house for the present. Do you know if anything new has happened between Dempster and his wife lately? I was surprised to hear of her being at Paddiford Church this morning.’

‘Ah, that was what Pilgrim said, so I didn’t go to Mrs. Raynor’s. He thought it would be better if Mrs. Dempster stayed out of the house for now. Do you know if anything new has happened between Dempster and his wife recently? I was surprised to hear she was at Paddiford Church this morning.’

‘Yes, something has happened; but I believe she is anxious that the particulars of his behaviour towards her should not be known. She is at Mrs. Pettifer’s—there is no reason for concealing that, since what has happened to her husband; and yesterday, when she was in very deep trouble, she sent for me. I was very thankful she did so: I believe a great change of feeling has begun in her. But she is at present in that excitable state of mind—she has been shaken by so many painful emotions during the last two days, that I think it would be better, for this evening at least, to guard her from a new shock, if possible. But I am going now to call upon her, and I shall see how she is.’

‘Yes, something has happened; but I think she’s worried that the details of his behavior toward her should stay private. She’s at Mrs. Pettifer’s—there’s no reason to hide that, especially given what happened to her husband; and yesterday, when she was in a lot of distress, she called for me. I was really glad she did: I believe a significant change of feeling has started in her. However, she’s currently in an unstable emotional state—she’s been through so many painful experiences in the last two days that I think it would be better to protect her from another shock, at least for tonight. But I’m going to visit her now, and I’ll see how she’s doing.’

‘Mr. Tryan,’ said Mr. Jerome, who had entered during the dialogue, and had been standing by, listening with a distressed face, ‘I shall take it as a favour if you’ll let me know if iver there’s anything I can do for Mrs. Dempster. Eh, dear, what a world this is! I think I see ’em fifteen year ago—as happy a young couple as iver was; and now, what it’s all come to! I was in a hurry, like, to punish Dempster for pessecutin’, but there was a stronger hand at work nor mine.’

‘Mr. Tryan,’ said Mr. Jerome, who had come in during the conversation and had been standing by, listening with a worried expression, ‘I’d appreciate it if you would let me know if there’s anything I can do for Mrs. Dempster. Oh dear, what a world this is! I remember them fifteen years ago—as happy a young couple as you could ever find; and now, look at what it’s all come to! I was eager to punish Dempster for his persecution, but there was a stronger hand at work than mine.’

‘Yes, Mr. Jerome; but don’t let us rejoice in punishment, even when the hand of God alone inflicts it. The best of us are but poor wretches just saved from shipwreck: can we feel anything but awe and pity when we see a fellow-passenger swallowed by the waves?’

‘Yes, Mr. Jerome; but let’s not celebrate punishment, even when it’s only the hand of God that delivers it. The best of us are just unfortunate souls narrowly saved from drowning: can we feel anything but awe and sympathy when we witness a fellow traveler being consumed by the waves?’

‘Right, right, Mr. Tryan. I’m over hot and hasty, that I am. But I beg on you to tell Mrs. Dempster—I mean, in course, when you’ve an opportunity—tell her she’s a friend at the White House as she may send for any hour o’ the day.’

‘Right, right, Mr. Tryan. I know I’m a bit too eager and impulsive. But please, when you get the chance, tell Mrs. Dempster that she’s a friend at the White House and can reach out any time of the day.’

‘Yes; I shall have an opportunity, I dare say, and I will remember your wish. I think,’ continued Mr. Tryan, turning to Mr. Landor, ‘I had better see Mr. Pilgrim on my way, and learn what is exactly the state of things by this time. What do you think?’

‘Yes; I’m sure I’ll have a chance, and I’ll keep your wish in mind. I think,’ Mr. Tryan said, turning to Mr. Landor, ‘I should probably talk to Mr. Pilgrim on my way and find out the exact situation by now. What do you think?’

‘By all means: if Mrs. Dempster is to know, there’s no one can break the news to her so well as you. I’ll walk with you to Dempster’s door. I dare say Pilgrim is there still. Come, Mr. Jerome, you’ve got to go our way too, to fetch your horse.’

‘Sure thing: if Mrs. Dempster needs to know, no one can tell her better than you. I’ll walk with you to Dempster’s door. I bet Pilgrim is still there. Come on, Mr. Jerome, you need to come with us too to fetch your horse.’

Mr. Pilgrim was in the passage giving some directions to his assistant, when, to his surprise, he saw Mr. Tryan enter. They shook hands; for Mr. Pilgrim, never having joined the party of the Anti-Tryanites, had no ground for resisting the growing conviction, that the Evangelical curate was really a good fellow, though he was a fool for not taking better care of himself.

Mr. Pilgrim was in the hallway giving some instructions to his assistant when, to his surprise, he saw Mr. Tryan walk in. They shook hands; Mr. Pilgrim, who had never aligned himself with the Anti-Tryanites, couldn't help but accept the increasing feeling that the Evangelical curate was genuinely a good guy, even though he was foolish for not looking after himself better.

‘Why, I didn’t expect to see you in your old enemy’s quarters,’ he said to Mr. Tryan. ‘However, it will be a good while before poor Dempster shows any fight again.’

‘Wow, I didn’t expect to see you in your old enemy’s place,’ he said to Mr. Tryan. ‘But it’ll be a long time before poor Dempster puts up any kind of fight again.’

‘I came on Mrs. Dempster’s account,’ said Mr. Tryan. ‘She is staying at Mrs. Pettifer’s; she has had a great shock from some severe domestic trouble lately, and I think it will be wiser to defer telling her of this dreadful event for a short time.’

‘I came regarding Mrs. Dempster,’ said Mr. Tryan. ‘She’s staying at Mrs. Pettifer’s; she’s been through a lot recently due to some serious family issues, and I think it would be better to wait a bit before telling her about this terrible event.’

‘Why, what has been up, eh?’ said Mr. Pilgrim, whose curiosity was at once awakened. ‘She used to be no friend of yours. Has there been some split between them? It’s a new thing for her to turn round on him.’

‘What’s going on?’ said Mr. Pilgrim, whose curiosity was instantly piqued. ‘She was never really your friend. Did they have a falling out? It’s unusual for her to turn against him like this.’

‘O, merely an exaggeration of scenes that must often have happened before. But the question now is, whether you think there is any immediate danger of her husband’s death; for in that case, I think, from what I have observed of her feelings, she would be pained afterwards to have been kept in ignorance.’

‘Oh, just an exaggeration of situations that probably happened before. But the real question is whether you believe there’s any immediate risk of her husband dying; because if so, based on what I’ve seen of her feelings, I think she would be upset later for having been kept in the dark.’

‘Well, there’s no telling in these cases, you know. I don’t apprehend speedy death, and it is not absolutely impossible that we may bring him round again. At present he’s in a state of apoplectic stupor; but if that subsides, delirium is almost sure to supervene, and we shall have some painful scenes. It’s one of those complicated cases in which the delirium is likely to be of the worst kind—meningitis and delirium tremens together—and we may have a good deal of trouble with him. If Mrs. Dempster were told, I should say it would be desirable to persuade her to remain out of the house at present. She could do no good, you know. I’ve got nurses.’

‘Well, there's no telling with these situations, you know. I don’t expect immediate death, and it’s not completely impossible that we might revive him. Right now, he’s in a state of apoplectic stupor; but if that fades, delirium is almost certain to follow, and we’re going to have some tough moments. This is one of those complicated cases where the delirium is likely to be the worst kind—meningitis and delirium tremens together—and we may have quite a bit of trouble with him. If Mrs. Dempster were informed, I would say it would be best to convince her to stay out of the house for now. She wouldn’t be able to help, you know. I’ve got nurses.’

‘Thank you,’ said Mr. Tryan. ‘That is what I wanted to know. Good-bye.’

‘Thanks,’ said Mr. Tryan. ‘That’s what I needed to know. Bye.’

When Mrs. Pettifer opened the door for Mr. Tryan, he told her in a few words what had happened, and begged her to take an opportunity of letting Mrs. Raynor know, that they might, if possible, concur in preventing a premature or sudden disclosure of the event to Janet.

When Mrs. Pettifer opened the door for Mr. Tryan, he briefly explained what had happened and asked her to find a way to let Mrs. Raynor know, so they could, if possible, work together to prevent a sudden or premature disclosure of the event to Janet.

‘Poor thing!’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘She’s not fit to hear any bad news; she’s very low this evening—worn out with feeling; and she’s not had anything to keep her up, as she’s been used to. She seems frightened at the thought of being tempted to take it.’

‘Poor thing!’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘She’s not in a good place to hear any bad news; she’s really down tonight—exhausted from all the emotions—and she hasn’t had anything to lift her spirits like she usually does. She looks scared at the idea of being tempted to take it.’

‘Thank God for it; that fear is her greatest security.’

‘Thank God for it; that fear is her greatest safety.’

When Mr. Tryan entered the parlour this time, Janet was again awaiting him eagerly, and her pale sad face was lighted up with a smile as she rose to meet him. But the next moment she said, with a look of anxiety,—‘How very ill and tired you look! You have been working so hard all day, and yet you are come to talk to me. O, you are wearing yourself out. I must go and ask Mrs. Pettifer to come and make you have some supper. But this is my mother; you have not seen her before, I think.’

When Mr. Tryan walked into the living room this time, Janet was once again eagerly waiting for him, and her pale, sad face lit up with a smile as she stood to welcome him. But the next moment, she said, looking worried, “You look really sick and exhausted! You’ve been working so hard all day, and here you are coming to talk to me. Oh, you’re exhausting yourself. I need to go ask Mrs. Pettifer to come make sure you eat some supper. By the way, this is my mother; I don’t think you’ve met her before.”

While Mr. Tryan was speaking to Mrs. Raynor, Janet hurried out, and he, seeing that this good-natured thoughtfulness on his behalf would help to counteract her depression, was not inclined to oppose her wish, but accepted the supper Mrs. Pettifer offered him, quietly talking the while about a clothing club he was going to establish in Paddiford, and the want of provident habits among the poor.

While Mr. Tryan was talking to Mrs. Raynor, Janet rushed out, and he, realizing that her kind gesture on his behalf would help lift her spirits, was willing to go along with her request. He accepted the supper Mrs. Pettifer offered him, while casually discussing a clothing club he planned to start in Paddiford and the need for better saving habits among the less fortunate.

Presently, however, Mrs. Raynor said she must go home for an hour, to see how her little maiden was going on, and Mrs. Pettifer left the room with her to take the opportunity of telling her what had happened to Dempster. When Janet was left alone with Mr. Tryan, she said,—‘I feel so uncertain what to do about my husband. I am so weak—my feelings change so from hour to hour. This morning, when I felt so hopeful and happy, I thought I should like to go back to him, and try to make up for what has been wrong in me. I thought, now God would help me, and I should have you to teach and advise me, and I could bear the troubles that would come. But since then—all this afternoon and evening—I have had the same feelings I used to have, the same dread of his anger and cruelty, and it seems to me as if I should never be able to bear it without falling into the same sins, and doing just what I did before. Yet, if it were settled that I should live apart from him, I know it would always be a load on my mind that I had shut myself out from going back to him. It seems a dreadful thing in life, when any one has been so near to one as a husband for fifteen years, to part and be nothing to each other any more. Surely that is a very strong tie, and I feel as if my duty can never lie quite away from it. It is very difficult to know what to do: what ought I to do?’

Right now, though, Mrs. Raynor said she needed to go home for an hour to check on her daughter, and Mrs. Pettifer left the room with her so she could share what had happened to Dempster. When Janet was alone with Mr. Tryan, she said, “I feel so unsure about what to do regarding my husband. I’m so weak—my feelings change so much from hour to hour. This morning, when I felt so hopeful and happy, I thought I wanted to go back to him and try to make up for my past mistakes. I believed that God would help me, and I would have you to guide and advise me, and I could handle the troubles that would arise. But since then—all this afternoon and evening—I’ve felt the same way I used to feel, the same fear of his anger and cruelty, and it seems to me that I could never endure it without falling back into the same mistakes and doing exactly what I did before. Yet, if it were decided that I should live separately from him, I know it would always weigh on my mind that I had closed myself off from the possibility of going back to him. It feels terrible in life that after being so close to someone, like a husband for fifteen years, to part ways and have nothing to do with each other anymore. Surely that creates a strong bond, and I feel like my duty can never completely stray from it. It’s really hard to figure out what to do: what should I do?”

‘I think it will be well not to take any decisive step yet. Wait until your mind is calmer. You might remain with your mother for a little while; I think you have no real ground for fearing any annoyance from your husband at present; he has put himself too much in the wrong; he will very likely leave you unmolested for some time. Dismiss this difficult question from your mind just now, if you can. Every new day may bring you new grounds for decision, and what is most needful for your health of mind is repose from that haunting anxiety about the future which has been preying on you. Cast yourself on God, and trust that He will direct you; he will make your duty clear to you, if you wait submissively on Him.’

‘I think it’s best not to make any big decisions right now. Wait until you feel calmer. You could stay with your mom for a bit; I believe you don’t really have to worry about your husband bothering you at the moment; he’s in the wrong and will likely leave you alone for a while. Try to set aside this tough question for now, if you can. Each new day may give you fresh reasons to decide, and what’s most important for your mental health is to find peace from that constant worry about the future that has been weighing on you. Lean on God and trust that He will guide you; He will clarify your duty if you wait patiently on Him.’

‘Yes; I will wait a little, as you tell me. I will go to my mother’s to-morrow, and pray to be guided rightly. You will pray for me, too.’

‘Yes; I will wait a bit, as you suggested. I'll go to my mom's tomorrow and pray for guidance. You’ll pray for me too, right?’

Chapter 23

The next morning Janet was so much calmer, and at breakfast spoke so decidedly of going to her mother’s, that Mrs. Pettifer and Mrs. Raynor agreed it would be wise to let her know by degrees what had befallen her husband, since as soon as she went out there would be danger of her meeting some one who would betray the fact. But Mrs. Raynor thought it would be well first to call at Dempster’s, and ascertain how he was: so she said to Janet,—‘My dear, I’ll go home first, and see to things, and get your room ready. You needn’t come yet, you know. I shall be back again in an hour or so, and we can go together.’

The next morning, Janet was much calmer and, at breakfast, spoke confidently about going to her mom's. Mrs. Pettifer and Mrs. Raynor agreed it would be smart to gradually let her know what had happened to her husband, since she might run into someone who would reveal the truth as soon as she left. However, Mrs. Raynor thought it would be good to stop by Dempster’s first to check on him. So, she said to Janet, “My dear, I’ll go home first to take care of things and get your room ready. You don’t need to come just yet. I’ll be back in about an hour, and we can go together.”

‘O no,’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘Stay with me till evening. I shall be lost without you. You needn’t go till quite evening.’

‘Oh no,’ said Mrs. Pettifer. ‘Stay with me until evening. I’ll be lost without you. You don’t have to leave until it’s really evening.’

Janet had dipped into the ‘Life of Henry Martyn,’ which Mrs. Pettifer had from the Paddiford Lending Library, and her interest was so arrested by that pathetic missionary story, that she readily acquiesced in both propositions, and Mrs. Raynor set out.

Janet had started reading the ‘Life of Henry Martyn,’ which Mrs. Pettifer had borrowed from the Paddiford Lending Library, and she was so captivated by that touching missionary story that she easily agreed to both proposals, and Mrs. Raynor set out.

She had been gone more than an hour, and it was nearly twelve o’clock, when Janet put down her book; and after sitting meditatively for some minutes with her eyes unconsciously fixed on the opposite wall, she rose, went to her bedroom, and, hastily putting on her bonnet and shawl, came down to Mrs. Pettifer, who was busy in the kitchen.

She had been gone for over an hour, and it was almost noon when Janet set her book aside. After sitting quietly for a few minutes, staring at the wall without realizing it, she stood up, went to her bedroom, and quickly put on her bonnet and shawl before heading downstairs to Mrs. Pettifer, who was working in the kitchen.

‘Mrs. Pettifer,’ she said, ‘tell mother, when she comes back, I’m gone to see what has become of those poor Lakins in Butchers Lane. I know they’re half starving, and I’ve neglected them so, lately. And then, I think, I’ll go on to Mrs. Crewe. I want to see the dear little woman, and tell her myself about my going to hear Mr. Tryan. She won’t feel it half so much if I tell her myself.’

‘Mrs. Pettifer,’ she said, ‘please tell mom, when she gets back, that I’ve gone to check on those poor Lakins in Butchers Lane. I know they’re partly starving, and I’ve really neglected them lately. After that, I think I’ll head over to see Mrs. Crewe. I want to visit the sweet lady and tell her myself about going to hear Mr. Tryan. She won’t feel it as much if I tell her directly.’

‘Won’t you wait till your mother comes, or put it off till to-morrow?’ said Mrs. Pettifer, alarmed. ‘You’ll hardly be back in time for dinner, if you get talking to Mrs. Crewe. And you’ll have to pass by your husband’s, you know; and yesterday, you were so afraid of seeing him.’

‘Could you wait until your mom gets here, or just put it off until tomorrow?’ said Mrs. Pettifer, worried. ‘You probably won’t make it back in time for dinner if you end up chatting with Mrs. Crewe. Plus, you’ll have to walk by your husband’s place, and remember, yesterday you were really nervous about running into him.’

‘O, Robert will be shut up at the office now, if he’s not gone out of the town. I must go—I feel I must be doing something for some one—not be a mere useless log any longer. I’ve been reading about that wonderful Henry Martyn; he’s just like Mr. Tryan—wearing himself out for other people, and I sit thinking of nothing but myself. I must go. Good-bye; I shall be back soon.’

‘Oh, Robert will be stuck at the office now, unless he’s left town. I have to go—I feel like I need to do something for someone—not just be a useless bystander anymore. I’ve been reading about that amazing Henry Martyn; he’s just like Mr. Tryan—exhausting himself for others, while I sit here only thinking about myself. I have to go. Goodbye; I’ll be back soon.’

She ran off before Mrs. Pettifer could utter another word of dissuasion, leaving the good woman in considerable anxiety lest this new impulse of Janet’s should frustrate all precautions to save her from a sudden shock.

She ran off before Mrs. Pettifer could say another word to stop her, leaving the good woman quite anxious that this new urge of Janet's would ruin all the efforts to protect her from a sudden shock.

Janet having paid her visit in Butcher Lane, turned again into Orchard Street on her way to Mrs. Crewe’s, and was thinking, rather sadly, that her mother’s economical housekeeping would leave no abundant surplus to be sent to the hungry Lakins, when she saw Mr. Pilgrim in advance of her on the other side of the street. He was walking at a rapid pace, and when he reached Dempster’s door he turned and entered without knocking.

Janet, after visiting Butcher Lane, crossed back onto Orchard Street heading to Mrs. Crewe’s. She was feeling a bit sad because her mother’s careful budgeting would leave no extra money to send to the struggling Lakins. Just then, she spotted Mr. Pilgrim ahead of her on the other side of the street. He was walking quickly, and when he got to Dempster’s door, he turned and went in without knocking.

Janet was startled. Mr. Pilgrim would never enter in that way unless there were some one very ill in the house. It was her husband; she felt certain of it at once. Something had happened to him. Without a moment’s pause, she ran across the street, opened the door, and entered. There was no one in the passage. The dining-room door was wide open—no one was there. Mr. Pilgrim, then, was already up-stairs. She rushed up at once to Dempster’s room—her own room. The door was open, and she paused in pale horror at the sight before her, which seemed to stand out only with the more appalling distinctness because the noonday light was darkened to twilight in the chamber.

Janet was taken aback. Mr. Pilgrim would never enter like that unless someone in the house was very sick. It had to be her husband; she knew it right away. Something had happened to him. Without a second to lose, she dashed across the street, opened the door, and went inside. The hallway was empty. The dining room door was wide open—no one was there. So, Mr. Pilgrim must be upstairs. She hurried up to Dempster’s room—her own room. The door was open, and she froze in pale horror at the sight before her, which seemed to stand out even more disturbingly because the midday light had faded to twilight in the room.

Two strong nurses were using their utmost force to hold Dempster in bed, while the medical assistant was applying a sponge to his head, and Mr. Pilgrim was busy adjusting some apparatus in the background. Dempster’s face was purple and swollen, his eyes dilated, and fixed with a look of dire terror on something he seemed to see approaching him from the iron closet. He trembled violently, and struggled as if to jump out of bed.

Two strong nurses were doing their best to keep Dempster in bed, while the medical assistant was dabbing a sponge on his head, and Mr. Pilgrim was busy adjusting some equipment in the background. Dempster's face was purple and swollen, his eyes were dilated and fixed in a look of sheer terror at something he appeared to see coming from the iron closet. He trembled violently and struggled as if trying to jump out of bed.

‘Let me go, let me go,’ he said in a loud, hoarse whisper; ‘she’s coming ... she’s cold ... she’s dead ... she’ll strangle me with her black hair. Ah!’ he shrieked aloud, ‘her hair is all serpents ... they’re black serpents ... they hiss ... they hiss . .. let me go . . . let me go . . . she wants to drag me with her cold arms ... her arms are serpents ... they are great white serpents ... they’ll twine round me ... she wants to drag me into the cold water ... her bosom is cold ... it is black ... it is all serpents ...’

‘Let me go, let me go,’ he said in a loud, raspy whisper; ‘she’s coming... she’s cold... she’s dead... she’ll strangle me with her black hair. Ah!’ he yelled, ‘her hair is all snakes... they’re black snakes... they hiss... they hiss... let me go... let me go... she wants to pull me with her cold arms... her arms are snakes... they are huge white snakes... they’ll wrap around me... she wants to pull me into the cold water... her chest is cold... it’s black... it’s all snakes...’

‘No, Robert,’ Janet cried, in tones of yearning pity, rushing to the side of the bed, and stretching out her arms towards him, ‘no, here is Janet. She is not dead—she forgives you.’

‘No, Robert,’ Janet cried, in a voice full of longing and compassion, rushing to the side of the bed and reaching out her arms to him, ‘no, it's me, Janet. I’m not dead—I've forgiven you.’

Dempster’s maddened senses seemed to receive some new impression from her appearance. The terror gave way to rage.

Dempster's frayed nerves seemed to pick up something new from her appearance. The fear shifted into anger.

‘Ha! you sneaking hypocrite!’ he burst out in a grating voice, ‘you threaten me ... you mean to have your revenge on me, do you? Do your worst! I’ve got the law on my side ... I know the law ... I’ll hunt you down like a hare ... prove it ... prove that I was tampered with ... prove that I took the money ... prove it ... you can prove nothing ... you damned psalm-singing maggots! I’ll make a fire under you, and smoke off the whole pack of you ... I’ll sweep you up ... I’ll grind you to powder ... small powder ... (here his voice dropt to a low tone of shuddering disgust) ... powder on the bed-clothes ... running about ... black lice ... they are coming in swarms ... Janet! come and take them away ... curse you! why don’t you come? Janet!’

"Ha! You sneaky hypocrite!" he shouted in a harsh voice. "You threaten me... you want your revenge on me, huh? Go ahead! I’ve got the law on my side... I know the law... I’ll track you down like a hare... prove it... prove that I was messed with... prove that I took the money... prove it... you can’t prove anything... you damned psalm-singing pests! I’ll set a fire under you and smoke out the whole bunch of you... I’ll sweep you away... I’ll grind you to dust... fine dust... (here his voice dropped to a low tone of shuddering disgust)... dust on the bedclothes... running around... black lice... they’re coming in swarms... Janet! Come and get them away... curse you! Why don’t you come? Janet!"

Poor Janet was kneeling by the bed with her face buried in her hands. She almost wished her worst moment back again rather than this. It seemed as if her husband was already imprisoned in misery, and she could not reach him—his ear deaf for ever to the sounds of love and forgiveness. His sins had made a hard crust round his soul; her pitying voice could not pierce it.

Poor Janet was kneeling by the bed with her face buried in her hands. She almost wished for her worst moment back again rather than this. It seemed like her husband was already trapped in misery, and she couldn’t reach him—his ears forever closed off to the sounds of love and forgiveness. His sins had formed a tough shell around his soul; her sympathetic voice couldn’t break through it.

‘Not there, isn’t she?’ he went on in a defiant tone. ‘Why do you ask me where she is? I’ll have every drop of yellow blood out of your veins if you come questioning me. Your blood is yellow ... in your purse ... running out of your purse ... What! you’re changing it into toads, are you? They’re crawling ... they’re flying ... they’re flying about my head ... the toads are flying about. Ostler! ostler! bring out my gig ... bring it out, you lazy beast . . . ha! you’ll follow me, will you? ... you’ll fly about my head ... you’ve got fiery tongues ... Ostler! curse you! why don’t you come? Janet! come and take the toads away ... Janet!’

‘She’s not here, is she?’ he continued defiantly. ‘Why do you want to know where she is? I’ll drain every drop of yellow blood from your veins if you keep asking me. Your blood is yellow... in your purse... dripping out of your purse... What! Are you turning it into toads? They’re crawling... they’re flying... they’re flying around my head... the toads are flying around. Hey! Stableman! Get my carriage... bring it out, you lazy fool... ha! You’re coming with me, are you? ... you’ll fly around my head... you’ve got fiery tongues... Stableman! Damn you! Why don’t you come? Janet! come and take the toads away... Janet!’

This last time he uttered her name with such a shriek of terror, that Janet involuntarily started up from her knees, and stood as if petrified by the horrible vibration. Dempster stared wildly in silence for some moments; then he spoke again in a hoarse whisper:—

This last time he shouted her name with such a scream of terror that Janet instinctively jumped up from her knees and stood frozen by the horrifying sound. Dempster stared wildly in silence for a few moments; then he spoke again in a rough whisper:—

‘Dead ... is she dead? She did it, then. She buried herself in the iron chest ... she left her clothes out, though ... she isn’t dead ... why do you pretend she’s dead? ... she’s coming ... she’s coming out of the iron closet ... there are the black serpents ... stop her ... let me go ... stop her ... she wants to drag me away into the cold black water ... her bosom is black ... it is all serpents ... they are getting longer ... the great white serpents are getting longer ...’

‘Dead ... is she dead? She did it, then. She buried herself in the iron chest ... she left her clothes out, though ... she isn’t dead ... why do you pretend she’s dead? ... she’s coming ... she’s coming out of the iron closet ... there are the black serpents ... stop her ... let me go ... stop her ... she wants to drag me away into the cold black water ... her bosom is black ... it’s all serpents ... they’re getting longer ... the great white serpents are getting longer ...’

Here Mr. Pilgrim came forward with the apparatus to bind him, but Dempster’s struggles became more and more violent. ‘Ostler! ostler!’ he shouted, ‘bring out the gig ... give me the whip!’—and bursting loose from the strong hands that held him, he began to flog the bed-clothes furiously with his right arm.

Here Mr. Pilgrim stepped up with the gear to restrain him, but Dempster's struggles grew increasingly intense. "Stablehand! Stablehand!" he yelled, "bring out the carriage ... give me the whip!"—and breaking free from the strong hands that were holding him, he started to whip the bedclothes furiously with his right arm.

‘Get along, you lame brute!—sc—sc—sc! that’s it! there you go! They think they’ve outwitted me, do they? The sneaking idiots! I’ll be up with them by-and-by. I’ll make them say the Lord’s Prayer backwards ... I’ll pepper them so that the devil shall eat them raw ... sc—sc—sc—we shall see who’ll be the winner yet ... get along, you damned limping beast ... I’ll lay your back open ... I’ll ...’

‘Get moving, you useless brute!—sc—sc—sc! That’s it! There you go! They think they’ve outsmarted me, huh? The sneaky fools! I’ll catch up with them eventually. I’ll make them say the Lord’s Prayer backwards ... I’ll give them such a beating that the devil will eat them raw ... sc—sc—sc—we’ll see who comes out on top ... get along, you damn limping beast ... I’ll tear your back open ... I’ll ...’

He raised himself with a stronger effort than ever to flog the bed-clothes, and fell back in convulsions. Janet gave a scream, and sank on her knees again. She thought he was dead.

He pushed himself up with more effort than ever to hit the bedcovers and collapsed back in spasms. Janet let out a scream and dropped to her knees again. She thought he was dead.

As soon as Mr. Pilgrim was able to give her a moment’s attention, he came to her, and, taking her by the arm, attempted to draw her gently out of the room.

As soon as Mr. Pilgrim could give her a moment of his attention, he approached her, and, taking her by the arm, tried to gently lead her out of the room.

‘Now, my dear Mrs. Dempster, let me persuade you not to remain in the room at present. We shall soon relieve these symptoms, I hope: it is nothing but the delirium that ordinarily attends such cases.’

‘Now, my dear Mrs. Dempster, let me encourage you not to stay in the room right now. We should be able to relieve these symptoms soon, I hope: it’s just the delirium that usually comes with situations like this.’

‘Oh, what is the matter? what brought it on?’

‘Oh, what's wrong? What caused it?’

‘He fell out of the gig; the right leg is broken. It is a terrible accident, and I don’t disguise that there is considerable danger attending it, owing to the state of the brain. But Mr. Dempster has a strong constitution, you know; in a few days these symptoms may be allayed, and he may do well. Let me beg of you to keep out of the room at present: you can do no good until Mr. Dempster is better, and able to know you. But you ought not to be alone; let me advise you to have Mrs. Raynor with you.’

‘He fell out of the carriage; his right leg is broken. It’s a terrible accident, and I won’t hide that there’s a significant risk involved, given the condition of his brain. But Mr. Dempster has a strong constitution, you know; in a few days, these symptoms might subside, and he could recover. Please stay out of the room for now: you can’t help until Mr. Dempster is better and able to recognize you. But you shouldn’t be alone; I recommend having Mrs. Raynor with you.’

‘Yes, I will send for mother. But you must not object to my being in the room. I shall be very quiet now, only just at first the shock was so great; I knew nothing about it. I can help the nurses a great deal; I can put the cold things to his head. He may be sensible for a moment and know me. Pray do not say any more against it: my heart is set on being with him.’

‘Yes, I will call for Mom. But you mustn’t object to me being in the room. I’ll be very quiet now, it’s just that at first the shock was so overwhelming; I didn’t know anything about it. I can help the nurses a lot; I can put the cold compress on his head. He might be aware for a moment and recognize me. Please don’t say anything more against it: my heart is set on being with him.’

Mr. Pilgrim gave way, and Janet, having sent for her mother and put off her bonnet and shawl, returned to take her place by the side of her husband’s bed.

Mr. Pilgrim stepped aside, and Janet, after calling for her mother and removing her bonnet and shawl, came back to sit beside her husband’s bed.

Chapter 24

Day after day, with only short intervals of rest, Janet kept her place in that sad chamber. No wonder the sick-room and the lazaretto have so often been a refuge from the tossings of intellectual doubt—a place of repose for the worn and wounded spirit. Here is a duty about which all creeds and all philosophies are at one: here, at least, the conscience will not be dogged by doubt, the benign impulse will not be checked by adverse theory: here you may begin to act without settling one preliminary question. To moisten the sufferer’s parched lips through the long night-watches, to bear up the drooping head, to lift the helpless limbs, to divine the want that can find no utterance beyond the feeble motion of the hand or beseeching glance of the eye—these are offices that demand no self-questionings, no casuistry, no assent to propositions, no weighing of consequences. Within the four walls where the stir and glare of the world are shut out, and every voice is subdued—where a human being lies prostrate, thrown on the tender mercies of his fellow, the moral relation of man to man is reduced to its utmost clearness and simplicity: bigotry cannot confuse it, theory cannot pervert it, passion, awed into quiescence, can neither pollute nor perturb it. As we bend over the sick-bed, all the forces of our nature rush towards the channels of pity, of patience, and of love, and sweep down the miserable choking drift of our quarrels, our debates, our would-be wisdom, and our clamorous selfish desires. This blessing of serene freedom from the importunities of opinion lies in all simple direct acts of mercy, and is one source of that sweet calm which is often felt by the watcher in the sick-room, even when the duties there are of a hard and terrible kind.

Day after day, with only brief breaks for rest, Janet stayed in that somber room. It's no surprise that the sickroom and the isolation area have often provided solace from the turmoil of intellectual doubt—a space for the exhausted and hurting spirit to find peace. Here lies a duty that all beliefs and philosophies agree on: here, at least, the conscience won't be burdened by uncertainty, and the kind impulse won't be hindered by opposing theories; here, you can act without needing to answer preliminary questions. Moistening the sufferer's dry lips during the long nights, supporting the tired head, lifting the weak limbs, understanding the needs that can only be expressed through a gentle hand movement or a pleading glance—these tasks require no self-reflection, no complicated reasoning, no agreement with abstract ideas, and no evaluating of outcomes. Inside those four walls, where the noise and brightness of the world are excluded, and every sound is hushed—where a person lies vulnerable, relying on the compassion of others—the moral relationship between people is crystal clear and straightforward: prejudice can't muddle it, theories can't distort it, and emotions, calmed into stillness, can neither taint nor disrupt it. As we lean over the sickbed, all the forces of our nature flow into acts of compassion, patience, and love, washing away the troubling remnants of our arguments, debates, misguided wisdom, and selfish impulses. This gift of peaceful relief from the demands of opinion exists in all simple, direct acts of kindness, and it's one source of the soothing calm often felt by those keeping watch in the sickroom, even when the tasks there are grueling and difficult.

Something of that benign result was felt by Janet during her tendance in her husband’s chamber. When the first heart-piercing hours were over—when her horror at his delirium was no longer fresh, she began to be conscious of her relief from the burden of decision as to her future course. The question that agitated her, about returning to her husband, had been solved in a moment; and this illness, after all, might be the herald of another blessing, just as that dreadful midnight when she stood an outcast in cold and darkness had been followed by the dawn of a new hope. Robert would get better; this illness might alter him; he would be a long time feeble, needing help, walking with a crutch, perhaps. She would wait on him with such tenderness, such all-forgiving love, that the old harshness and cruelty must melt away for ever under the heart-sunshine she would pour around him. Her bosom heaved at the thought, and delicious tears fell. Janet’s was a nature in which hatred and revenge could find no place; the long bitter years drew half their bitterness from her ever-living remembrance of the too short years of love that went before; and the thought that her husband would ever put her hand to his lips again, and recall the days when they sat on the grass together, and he laid scarlet poppies on her black hair, and called her his gypsy queen, seemed to send a tide of loving oblivion over all the harsh and stony space they had traversed since. The Divine Love that had already shone upon her would be with her; she would lift up her soul continually for help; Mr. Tryan, she knew, would pray for her. If she felt herself failing, she would confess it to him at once; if her feet began to slip, there was that stay for her to cling to. O she could never be drawn back into that cold damp vault of sin and despair again; she had felt the morning sun, she had tasted the sweet pure air of trust and penitence and submission.

Something of that comforting feeling was experienced by Janet while she stayed in her husband's room. Once the initial heart-wrenching hours passed—once her shock at his delirium began to fade—she started to realize her relief from the pressure of deciding her future. The question that troubled her about whether to return to her husband had been resolved in an instant; and this illness, after all, could be a sign of another blessing, just like that terrible midnight when she stood alone in the cold and dark, which was followed by the rise of new hope. Robert would recover; this illness might change him; he would be weak for a while, needing assistance, perhaps walking with a crutch. She would care for him with such tenderness, such all-forgiving love, that the past harshness and cruelty would surely melt away forever under the warmth of the affection she would shower upon him. Her heart swelled at the thought, and joyful tears streamed down. Janet was the kind of person in whom hatred and revenge had no place; the long, bitter years drew much of their bitterness from her ever-present memory of those far too short years of love that had come before; and the idea that her husband would ever bring her hand to his lips again and remember the days they spent on the grass together—when he laid scarlet poppies in her black hair and called her his gypsy queen—seemed to wash away all the pain and harshness they had endured since. The Divine Love that had already graced her would continue to be with her; she would constantly lift her soul up for support; Mr. Tryan would, she knew, pray for her. If she sensed herself faltering, she would admit it to him immediately; if she felt herself slipping, there was that lifeline for her to hold on to. Oh, she could never be pulled back into that cold, damp tomb of sin and despair again; she had felt the morning sun, tasted the sweet, pure air of trust, repentance, and surrender.

These were the thoughts passing through Janet’s mind as she hovered about her husband’s bed, and these were the hopes she poured out to Mr. Tryan when he called to see her. It was so evident that they were strengthening her in her new struggle—they shed such a glow of calm enthusiasm over her face as she spoke of them, that Mr. Tryan could not bear to throw on them the chill of premonitory doubts, though a previous conversation he had had with Mr. Pilgrim had convinced him that there was not the faintest probability of Dempster’s recovery. Poor Janet did not know the significance of the changing symptoms, and when, after the lapse of a week, the delirium began to lose some of its violence, and to be interrupted by longer and longer intervals of stupor, she tried to think that these might be steps on the way to recovery, and she shrank from questioning Mr. Pilgrim lest he should confirm the fears that began to get predominance in her mind. But before many days were past, he thought it right not to allow her to blind herself any longer. One day—it was just about noon, when bad news always seems most sickening—he led her from her husband’s chamber into the opposite drawing-room, where Mrs. Raynor was sitting, and said to her, in that low tone of sympathetic feeling which sometimes gave a sudden air of gentleness to this rough man—‘My dear Mrs. Dempster, it is right in these cases, you know, to be prepared for the worst. I think I shall be saving you pain by preventing you from entertaining any false hopes, and Mr. Dempster’s state is now such that I fear we must consider recovery impossible. The affection of the brain might not have been hopeless, but, you see, there is a terrible complication; and, I am grieved to say, the broken limb is mortifying.’

These were the thoughts going through Janet’s mind as she hovered around her husband’s bed, and these were the hopes she shared with Mr. Tryan when he came to see her. It was clear that they were giving her strength in her new struggle—they brought such a glow of calm enthusiasm to her face as she spoke about them, that Mr. Tryan couldn’t bear to cast a shadow of doubt on them, even though a previous conversation he had with Mr. Pilgrim had convinced him that there was very little chance of Dempster’s recovery. Poor Janet didn’t understand the significance of the changing symptoms, and when, after a week, the delirium began to ease a bit, interrupted by longer intervals of stupor, she tried to think these were signs of recovery, and she hesitated to ask Mr. Pilgrim in case he confirmed the fears that were starting to dominate her thoughts. But a few days later, he felt he had to make sure she didn’t keep deceiving herself. One day—it was just around noon, when bad news always seems hardest to take—he led her from her husband’s room into the adjacent drawing-room, where Mrs. Raynor was sitting, and said to her, in that low tone of sympathetic feeling which sometimes gave a sudden gentleness to this rough man—‘My dear Mrs. Dempster, it’s important in these situations to be prepared for the worst. I believe I’m sparing you pain by helping you avoid any false hopes, and Mr. Dempster’s condition is now such that I’m afraid we must consider recovery impossible. The brain injury might not have been hopeless, but there’s a terrible complication; and I’m sorry to say, the broken limb is decaying.’

Janet listened with a sinking heart. That future of love and forgiveness would never come then: he was going out of her sight for ever, where her pity could never reach him. She turned cold, and trembled.

Janet listened with a heavy heart. That future of love and forgiveness would never happen: he was leaving her sight for good, where her compassion could never reach him. She felt cold and started to tremble.

‘But do you think he will die,’ she said, ‘without ever coming to himself? without ever knowing me?’

‘But do you think he will die,’ she said, ‘without ever waking up? Without ever knowing who I am?’

‘One cannot say that with certainty. It is not impossible that the cerebral oppression may subside, and that he may become conscious. If there is anything you would wish to be said or done in that case, it would be well to be prepared. I should think,’ Mr. Pilgrim continued, turning to Mrs. Raynor, ‘Mr. Dempster’s affairs are likely to be in order—his will is ...’

‘One can’t say that for sure. It’s not impossible that the mental pressure might ease up and that he could regain consciousness. If there’s anything you would want to be said or done in that case, it’s best to be ready. I would think,’ Mr. Pilgrim went on, looking at Mrs. Raynor, ‘Mr. Dempster’s affairs are probably in order—his will is ...’

‘O, I wouldn’t have him troubled about those things,’ interrupted Janet, ‘he has no relations but quite distant ones—no one but me. I wouldn’t take up the time with that. I only want to ...’

‘Oh, I wouldn't want him stressing over those things,’ interrupted Janet, ‘he doesn’t have any close family, just some distant relatives—only me. I wouldn’t waste time on that. I just want to ...’

She was unable to finish; she felt her sobs rising, and left the room. ‘O God!’ she said, inwardly, ‘is not Thy love greater than mine? Have mercy on him! have mercy on him!’

She couldn't finish; she felt her sobs building up and left the room. 'Oh God!' she said to herself, 'Is Your love not greater than mine? Have mercy on him! Have mercy on him!'

This happened on Wednesday, ten days after the fatal accident. By the following Sunday, Dempster was in a state of rapidly increasing prostration; and when Mr. Pilgrim, who, in turn with his assistant, had slept in the house from the beginning, came in, about half-past ten, as usual, he scarcely believed that the feebly struggling life would last out till morning. For the last few days he had been administering stimulants to relieve the exhaustion which had succeeded the alternations of delirium and stupor. This slight office was all that now remained to be done for the patient; so at eleven o’clock Mr. Pilgrim went to bed, having given directions to the nurse, and desired her to call him if any change took place, or if Mrs. Dempster desired his presence.

This happened on Wednesday, ten days after the deadly accident. By the following Sunday, Dempster was in a state of rapidly worsening weakness; and when Mr. Pilgrim, who, along with his assistant, had been sleeping in the house from the start, came in around half-past ten, as usual, he could hardly believe that the faintly struggling life would last until morning. For the last few days, he had been giving stimulants to relieve the exhaustion that followed the swings between delirium and stupor. This slight task was all that was left to do for the patient; so at eleven o’clock, Mr. Pilgrim went to bed, having given instructions to the nurse and asked her to call him if there was any change or if Mrs. Dempster needed him.

Janet could not be persuaded to leave the room. She was yearning and watching for a moment in which her husband’s eyes would rest consciously upon her, and he would know that she had forgiven him.

Janet couldn't be convinced to leave the room. She was longing and waiting for a moment when her husband’s eyes would intentionally focus on her, and he would realize that she had forgiven him.

How changed he was since that terrible Monday, nearly a fortnight ago! He lay motionless, but for the irregular breathing that stirred his broad chest and thick muscular neck. His features were no longer purple and swollen; they were pale, sunken, and haggard. A cold perspiration stood in beads on the protuberant forehead, and on the wasted hands stretched motionless on the bed-clothes. It was better to see the hands so, than convulsively picking the air, as they had been a week ago.

How much he had changed since that awful Monday, almost two weeks ago! He lay still, except for the uneven breathing that moved his broad chest and thick muscular neck. His face was no longer purple and swollen; it was pale, sunken, and exhausted. A cold sweat formed in beads on his prominent forehead and on the gaunt hands that lay still on the bedcovers. It was better to see the hands like that than convulsively grasping at the air, as they had been a week ago.

Janet sat on the edge of the bed through the long hours of candle-light, watching the unconscious half-closed eyes, wiping the perspiration from the brow and cheeks, and keeping her left hand on the cold unanswering right hand that lay beside her on the bed-clothes. She was almost as pale as her dying husband, and there were dark lines under her eyes, for this was the third night since she had taken off her clothes; but the eager straining gaze of her dark eyes, and the acute sensibility that lay in every line about her mouth, made a strange contrast with the blank unconsciousness and emaciated animalism of the face she was watching.

Janet sat on the edge of the bed for hours by candlelight, watching the unconscious half-closed eyes, wiping the sweat from the brow and cheeks, and keeping her left hand on the cold, unresponsive right hand that lay beside her on the bed covers. She was almost as pale as her dying husband, with dark circles under her eyes, as this was the third night since she had changed out of her clothes; yet the eager, intense gaze of her dark eyes and the sensitivity reflected in every line around her mouth contrasted sharply with the blank unconsciousness and gaunt animalism of the face she was watching.

There was profound stillness in the house. She heard no sound but her husband’s breathing and the ticking of the watch on the mantelpiece. The candle, placed high up, shed a soft light down on the one object she cared to see. There was a smell of brandy in the room; it was given to her husband from time to time; but this smell, which at first had produced in her a faint shuddering sensation, was now becoming indifferent to her: she did not even perceive it; she was too unconscious of herself to feel either temptations or accusations. She only felt that the husband of her youth was dying; far, far out of her reach, as if she were standing helpless on the shore, while he was sinking in the black storm-waves; she only yearned for one moment in which she might satisfy the deep forgiving pity of her soul by one look of love, one word of tenderness.

There was a deep stillness in the house. She heard nothing except her husband’s breathing and the ticking of the clock on the mantel. The candle, placed high up, cast a soft light on the one thing she cared to see. There was a smell of brandy in the room; it was given to her husband from time to time; but this smell, which at first had made her feel a faint shiver, was now becoming unnoticeable to her: she was too unaware of herself to feel either temptations or accusations. She only sensed that the husband of her youth was dying; far, far out of her reach, as if she were standing helpless on the shore while he was sinking in the dark storm waves; she only longed for one moment in which she could meet the deep forgiving pity of her soul with one look of love, one word of tenderness.

Her sensations and thoughts were so persistent that she could not measure the hours, and it was a surprise to her when the nurse put out the candle, and let in the faint morning light. Mrs. Raynor, anxious about Janet, was already up, and now brought in some fresh coffee for her; and Mr. Pilgrim having awaked, had hurried on his clothes, and was coming in to see how Dempster was.

Her feelings and thoughts were so overwhelming that she lost track of time, so it surprised her when the nurse extinguished the candle and allowed the soft morning light to enter. Mrs. Raynor, worried about Janet, was already awake and brought her some fresh coffee; meanwhile, Mr. Pilgrim, having just gotten up, quickly got dressed and came in to check on how Dempster was doing.

This change from candle-light to morning, this recommencement of the same round of things that had happened yesterday, was a discouragement rather than a relief to Janet. She was more conscious of her chill weariness: the new light thrown on her husband’s face seemed to reveal the still work that death had been doing through the night; she felt her last lingering hope that he would ever know her again forsake her.

This shift from candlelight to morning, this start of the same routine that had played out yesterday, felt more discouraging than relieving to Janet. She was acutely aware of her deep fatigue; the new light on her husband’s face seemed to expose the gradual effects of death that had been at work during the night. She felt her last lingering hope that he would ever recognize her again slip away.

But now, Mr. Pilgrim, having felt the pulse, was putting some brandy in a tea-spoon between Dempster’s lips; the brandy went down, and his breathing became freer. Janet noticed the change, and her heart beat faster as she leaned forward to watch him. Suddenly a slight movement, like the passing away of a shadow, was visible in his face, and he opened his eyes full on Janet. It was almost like meeting him again on the resurrection morning, after the night of the grave.

But now, Mr. Pilgrim, after checking the pulse, was pouring some brandy into a teaspoon and putting it between Dempster’s lips; the brandy went down, and his breathing got easier. Janet noticed the change, and her heart raced as she leaned in closer to watch him. Suddenly, a subtle shift, like the fading of a shadow, appeared on his face, and he opened his eyes wide at Janet. It felt almost like seeing him again on resurrection morning after the night in the grave.

‘Robert, do you know me?’

"Robert, do you remember me?"

He kept his eyes fixed on her, and there was a faintly perceptible motion of the lips, as if he wanted to speak.

He kept his gaze on her, and there was a slight movement of his lips, as if he wanted to say something.

But the moment of speech was for ever gone—the moment for asking pardon of her, if he wanted to ask it. Could he read the full forgiveness that was written in her eyes? She never knew; for, as she was bending to kiss him, the thick veil of death fell between them, and her lips touched a corpse.

But the moment to speak was gone forever—the moment to ask her for forgiveness, if he wanted to. Could he see the complete forgiveness in her eyes? She would never know; because, just as she leaned in to kiss him, the heavy veil of death came between them, and her lips met a corpse.

Chapter 25

The faces looked very hard and unmoved that surrounded Dempster’s grave, while old Mr. Crewe read the burial-service in his low, broken voice. The pall-bearers were such men as Mr. Pittman, Mr. Lowme, and Mr. Budd—men whom Dempster had called his friends while he was in life; and worldly faces never look so worldly as at a funeral. They have the same effect of grating incongruity as the sound of a coarse voice breaking the solemn silence of night.

The faces surrounding Dempster’s grave looked tough and unfeeling as old Mr. Crewe read the burial service in his quiet, shaky voice. The pallbearers were men like Mr. Pittman, Mr. Lowme, and Mr. Budd—people Dempster had called his friends while he was alive; and worldly expressions never seem as superficial as they do at a funeral. They create a jarring contrast, much like a harsh voice interrupting the solemn silence of the night.

The one face that had sorrow in it was covered by a thick crape-veil, and the sorrow was suppressed and silent. No one knew how deep it was; for the thought in most of her neighbours’ minds was, that Mrs. Dempster could hardly have had better fortune than to lose a bad husband who had left her the compensation of a good income. They found it difficult to conceive that her husband’s death could be felt by her otherwise than as a deliverance. The person who was most thoroughly convinced that Janet’s grief was deep and real, was Mr. Pilgrim, who in general was not at all weakly given to a belief in disinterested feeling.

The one face that showed sorrow was hidden behind a thick black veil, and the sadness was quiet and contained. No one knew how deep it ran; most of her neighbors thought that Mrs. Dempster couldn't have been luckier than to lose a bad husband who had left her a decent income. They found it hard to believe that she could feel her husband’s death as anything other than a release. The one person who firmly believed that Janet’s grief was profound and genuine was Mr. Pilgrim, who generally wasn't inclined to trust in unselfish feelings.

‘That woman has a tender heart,’ he was frequently heard to observe in his morning rounds about this time. ‘I used to think there was a great deal of palaver in her, but you may depend upon it there’s no pretence about her. If he’d been the kindest husband in the world she couldn’t have felt more. There’s a great deal of good in Mrs. Dempster—a great deal of good.’

‘That woman has a kind heart,’ he often said during his morning rounds around this time. ‘I used to think she was all talk, but you can count on it there’s no fakery with her. Even if he had been the kindest husband in the world, she couldn’t have felt more. There’s a lot of goodness in Mrs. Dempster—a lot of goodness.’

I always said so,’ was Mrs. Lowme’s reply, when he made the observation to her; ‘she was always so very full of pretty attentions to me when I was ill. But they tell me now she’s turned Tryanite; if that’s it we shan’t agree again. It’s very inconsistent in her, I think, turning round in that way, after being the foremost to laugh at the Tryanite cant, and especially in a woman of her habits; she should cure herself of them before she pretends to be over-religious.’

I always said that,” Mrs. Lowme replied when he mentioned it to her. “She was always so sweet and attentive to me when I was sick. But now they tell me she’s become a Tryanite; if that’s the case, we won’t see eye to eye anymore. I think it’s quite inconsistent of her to change like that, especially after being one of the first to mock the Tryanite nonsense, and especially for someone like her; she should work on her own habits before acting so overly religious.”

‘Well, I think she means to cure herself, do you know,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, whose goodwill towards Janet was just now quite above that temperate point at which he could indulge his feminine patients with a little judicious detraction. ‘I feel sure she has not taken any stimulants all through her husband’s illness; and she has been constantly in the way of them. I can see she sometimes suffers a good deal of depression for want of them—it shows all the more resolution in her. Those cures are rare: but I’ve known them happen sometimes with people of strong will.’

‘Well, I think she intends to heal herself, you know,’ said Mr. Pilgrim, whose goodwill towards Janet was currently so high that he couldn’t indulge his female patients in a bit of selective gossip. ‘I’m pretty sure she hasn’t taken any stimulants throughout her husband’s illness, even though they’ve been all around her. I can tell she sometimes feels quite depressed without them—it just shows how determined she is. Those kinds of recoveries are rare, but I’ve seen them happen before with people who have strong wills.’

Mrs. Lowme took an opportunity of retailing Mr. Pilgrim’s conversation to Mrs. Phipps, who, as a victim of Pratt and plethora, could rarely enjoy that pleasure at first-hand. Mrs. Phipps was a woman of decided opinions, though of wheezy utterance.

Mrs. Lowme took the chance to share Mr. Pilgrim’s conversation with Mrs. Phipps, who, as a victim of Pratt and overload, could rarely experience that pleasure herself. Mrs. Phipps was a woman with strong opinions, though she spoke in a wheezy voice.

‘For my part,’ she remarked, ‘I’m glad to hear there’s any likelihood of improvement in Mrs. Dempster, but I think the way things have turned out seems to show that she was more to blame than people thought she was; else, why should she feel so much about her husband? And Dempster, I understand, has left his wife pretty nearly all his property to do as she likes with; that isn’t behaving like such a very bad husband. I don’t believe Mrs. Dempster can have had so much provocation as they pretended. I’ve known husbands who’ve laid plans for tormenting their wives when they’re underground—tying up their money and hindering them from marrying again. Not that I should ever wish to marry again; I think one husband in one’s life is enough in all conscience’;—here she threw a fierce glance at the amiable Mr. Phipps, who was innocently delighting himself with the facetiæ in the ‘Rotherby Guardian,’ and thinking the editor must be a droll fellow—‘but it’s aggravating to be tied up in that way. Why, they say Mrs. Dempster will have as good as six hundred a-year at least. A fine thing for her, that was a poor girl without a farthing to her fortune. It’s well if she doesn’t make ducks and drakes of it somehow.’

“For my part,” she said, “I’m really glad to hear there might be some improvement with Mrs. Dempster, but I think the way things have turned out shows she was more at fault than people realized; otherwise, why would she care so much about her husband? And from what I understand, Dempster has left nearly all his property to her to do with as she pleases; that doesn’t sound like a terrible husband to me. I doubt Mrs. Dempster faced as much provocation as they claimed. I’ve known husbands who planned to torment their wives even after they were gone—tying up their money and preventing them from marrying again. Not that I would ever want to marry again; I think one husband is plenty in a lifetime”—here she shot a fierce glance at the amiable Mr. Phipps, who was innocently enjoying the facetiæ in the ‘Rotherby Guardian,’ thinking the editor must be a funny guy—“but it’s really frustrating to be stuck like that. They say Mrs. Dempster will have at least six hundred a year. That’s great for her, considering she was a poor girl with not a penny to her name. Let’s just hope she doesn’t waste it somehow.”

Mrs. Phipps’s view of Janet, however, was far from being the prevalent one in Milby. Even neighbours who had no strong personal interest in her, could hardly see the noble-looking woman in her widow’s dress, with a sad sweet gravity in her face, and not be touched with fresh admiration for her—and not feel, at least vaguely, that she had entered on a new life in which it was a sort of desecration to allude to the painful past. And the old friends who had a real regard for her, but whose cordiality had been repelled or chilled of late years, now came round her with hearty demonstrations of affection. Mr. Jerome felt that his happiness had a substantial addition now he could once more call on that ‘nice little woman Mrs. Dempster’, and think of her with rejoicing instead of sorrow. The Pratts lost no time in returning to the footing of old-established friendship with Janet and her mother; and Miss Pratt felt it incumbent on her, on all suitable occasions, to deliver a very emphatic approval of the remarkable strength of mind she understood Mrs. Dempster to be exhibiting. The Miss Linnets were eager to meet Mr. Tryan’s wishes by greeting Janet as one who was likely to be a sister in religious feeling and good works; and Mrs. Linnet was so agreeably surprised by the fact that Dempster had left his wife the money ‘in that handsome way, to do what she liked with it,’ that she even included Dempster himself, and his villanous discovery of the flaw in her title to Pye’s Croft, in her magnanimous oblivion of past offences. She and Mrs. Jerome agreed over a friendly cup of tea that there were ‘a many husbands as was very fine spoken an’ all that, an’ yet all the while kep’ a will locked up from you, as tied you up as tight as anything. I assure you,’ Mrs. Jerome continued, dropping her voice in a confidential manner, ‘I know no more to this day about Mr. Jerome’s will, nor the child as is unborn. I’ve no fears about a income—I’m well aware Mr. Jerome ’ud niver leave me stret for that; but I should like to hev a thousand or two at my own disposial; it makes a widow a deal more looked on.’

Mrs. Phipps’s opinion of Janet, however, wasn’t the common one in Milby. Even neighbors who didn’t have a strong personal connection to her could hardly look at the noble-looking woman in her widow’s dress, with a sad yet sweet gravity on her face, and not feel a renewed admiration for her—and not sense, at least in a vague way, that she had started a new life where it seemed wrong to mention the painful past. And the old friends who genuinely cared for her, but whose warmth had faded or cooled in recent years, now came around her with heartfelt displays of affection. Mr. Jerome felt that his happiness had grown significantly now that he could once again call on that ‘nice little woman Mrs. Dempster’ and think of her with joy instead of sorrow. The Pratts wasted no time in restoring the ties of long-standing friendship with Janet and her mother; and Miss Pratt felt it was her duty, on all suitable occasions, to express strong approval of the remarkable strength of mind she believed Mrs. Dempster was showing. The Miss Linnets were eager to meet Mr. Tryan’s wishes by welcoming Janet as someone likely to share in their religious feelings and good works; and Mrs. Linnet was pleasantly surprised that Dempster had left his wife money ‘in that generous way, to do whatever she wanted with it,’ that she even included Dempster himself, along with his shady attempt to undermine her title to Pye’s Croft, in her forgiving forgetfulness of past wrongs. She and Mrs. Jerome agreed over a friendly cup of tea that there were ‘plenty of husbands who were very charming and all that, yet all the while kept a will locked away from you, tying you up tight as anything. I assure you,’ Mrs. Jerome continued, lowering her voice in a confidential manner, ‘I still know nothing to this day about Mr. Jerome’s will, nor about the unborn child. I don’t worry about an income—I’m well aware Mr. Jerome would never leave me without that; but I would like to have a thousand or two at my own disposal; it makes a widow much more respected.’

Perhaps this ground of respect to widows might not be entirely without its influence on the Milby mind, and might do something towards conciliating those more aristocratic acquaintances of Janet’s, who would otherwise have been inclined to take the severest view of her apostasy towards Evangelicalism. Errors look so very ugly in persons of small means—one feels they are taking quite a liberty in going astray; whereas people of fortune may naturally indulge in a few delinquencies. ‘They’ve got the money for it,’ as the girl said of her mistress who had made herself ill with pickled salmon. However it may have been, there was not an acquaintance of Janet’s, in Milby, that did not offer her civilities in the early days of her widowhood. Even the severe Mrs. Phipps was not an exception; for heaven knows what would become of our sociality if we never visited people we speak ill of: we should live, like Egyptian hermits, in crowded solitude.

Maybe the respect for widows had some impact on the people of Milby, helping to smooth things over with Janet's more upper-class friends, who might have otherwise harshly judged her departure from Evangelicalism. Mistakes seem much worse when they're made by those with limited means—it's like they're overstepping their boundaries by going off track—while wealthy people can afford to indulge in a few slip-ups. “They’ve got the money for it,” as the girl said about her employer who got sick from eating too much pickled salmon. Regardless, every one of Janet’s acquaintances in Milby offered her kindness in the early days of her widowhood. Even the strict Mrs. Phipps was no exception; after all, who knows what would happen to our social lives if we only visited people we criticize? We’d end up living like Egyptian hermits, surrounded by people but completely alone.

Perhaps the attentions most grateful to Janet were those of her old friend Mrs. Crewe, whose attachment to her favourite proved quite too strong for any resentment she might be supposed to feel on the score of Mr. Tryan. The little deaf old lady couldn’t do without her accustomed visitor, whom she had seen grow up from child to woman, always so willing to chat with her and tell her all the news, though she was deaf; while other people thought it tiresome to shout in her ear, and irritated her by recommending ear-trumpets of various construction.

Perhaps the most appreciated attention for Janet came from her old friend Mrs. Crewe, whose affection for her favorite was so strong that any resentment she might have felt regarding Mr. Tryan was completely overshadowed. The little deaf old lady couldn’t imagine her life without her regular visitor, whom she had watched grow from a child into a woman, always eager to chat and share the latest news, even though she was deaf; while others found it annoying to yell in her ear and frustrated her by suggesting various types of ear-trumpets.

All this friendliness was very precious to Janet. She was conscious of the aid it gave her in the self-conquest which was the blessing she prayed for with every fresh morning. The chief strength of her nature lay in her affection, which coloured all the rest of her mind: it gave a personal sisterly tenderness to her acts of benevolence; it made her cling with tenacity to every object that had once stirred her kindly emotions. Alas! it was unsatisfied, wounded affection that had made her trouble greater than she could bear. And now there was no check to the full flow of that plenteous current in her nature—no gnawing secret anguish—no overhanging terror—no inward shame. Friendly faces beamed on her; she felt that friendly hearts were approving her, and wishing her well, and that mild sunshine of goodwill fell beneficently on her new hopes and efforts, as the clear shining after rain falls on the tender leaf-buds of spring, and wins them from promise to fulfilment.

All this friendliness meant a lot to Janet. She recognized how much it helped her in the journey of self-improvement that she hoped for with every new day. The main strength of her character lay in her caring nature, which influenced all of her thoughts: it added a personal, sisterly warmth to her acts of kindness; it made her hold on tightly to everything that had once sparked her kind feelings. Unfortunately, it was unfulfilled, hurt feelings that had made her struggles more than she could handle. And now, there was nothing stopping the full flow of that abundant kindness in her nature—no painful secret suffering—no looming dread—no internal shame. Friendly faces smiled at her; she felt that friendly hearts were cheering her on and wishing her well, and that gentle glow of goodwill illuminated her new hopes and efforts, just like the clear sunshine after rain nurtures the tender buds of spring, encouraging them from promise to reality.

And she needed these secondary helps, for her wrestling with her past self was not always easy. The strong emotions from which the life of a human being receives a new bias, win their victory as the sea wins his: though their advance may be sure, they will often, after a mightier wave than usual, seem to roll back so far as to lose all the ground they had made. Janet showed the strong bent of her will by taking every outward precaution against the occurrence of a temptation. Her mother was now her constant companion, having shut up her little dwelling and come to reside in Orchard Street; and Janet gave all dangerous keys into her keeping, entreating her to lock them away in some secret place. Whenever the too well-known depression and craving threatened her, she would seek a refuge in what had always been her purest enjoyment—in visiting one of her poor neighbours, in carrying some food or comfort to a sick-bed, in cheering with her smile some of the familiar dwellings up the dingy back-lanes. But the great source of courage, the great help to perseverance, was the sense that she had a friend and teacher in Mr. Tryan: she could confess her difficulties to him; she knew he prayed for her; she had always before her the prospect of soon seeing him, and hearing words of admonition and comfort, that came to her charged with a divine power such as she had never found in human words before.

And she needed these extra supports because dealing with her past self wasn't always easy. The strong emotions that reshape a person's life can be overwhelming: even though progress might seem certain, there are times when setbacks can feel so significant that it seems like all the ground gained has been lost. Janet demonstrated her strong will by taking every precaution to avoid temptation. Her mother had become her constant companion, moving in with her on Orchard Street, and Janet entrusted her with all the dangerous keys, asking her to lock them away in a secret place. Whenever she felt the familiar depression and cravings creeping in, she sought refuge in what had always brought her the purest joy—visiting her needy neighbors, bringing food or comfort to the sick, and brightening up the familiar homes in the gloomy back alleys with her smile. But the most significant source of strength, the greatest help in persevering, was knowing she had a friend and mentor in Mr. Tryan: she could share her struggles with him; she knew he prayed for her; she always looked forward to seeing him soon and hearing words of advice and comfort that felt infused with a divine power she had never experienced in human words before.

So the time passed, till it was far on in May, nearly a month after her husband’s death, when, as she and her mother were seated peacefully at breakfast in the dining-room, looking through the open window at the old-fashioned garden, where the grass-plot was now whitened with apple-blossoms, a letter was brought in for Mrs. Raynor.

So time went by, and it was late May, nearly a month after her husband’s death, when she and her mother were sitting calmly at breakfast in the dining room, looking through the open window at the quaint garden, where the grass was now sprinkled with apple blossoms. A letter was delivered for Mrs. Raynor.

‘Why, there’s the Thurston post-mark on it,’ she said. ‘It must be about your aunt Anna. Ah, so it is, poor thing! she’s been taken worse this last day or two, and has asked them to send for me. That dropsy is carrying her off at last, I daresay. Poor thing! it will be a happy release. I must go, my dear—she’s your father’s last sister—though I am sorry to leave you. However, perhaps I shall not have to stay more than a night or two.’

‘Look, there's the Thurston postmark on it,’ she said. ‘It must be about your Aunt Anna. Oh, it is, poor thing! She's gotten worse over the last day or two and has asked them to send for me. That dropsy is finally taking her away, I suppose. Poor thing! It will be a welcome release. I need to go, my dear—she's your father's last sister—although I'm sorry to leave you. Still, maybe I won't have to stay more than a night or two.’

Janet looked distressed as she said, ‘Yes, you must go, mother. But I don’t know what I shall do without you. I think I shall run in to Mrs. Pettifer, and ask her to come and stay with me while you’re away. I’m sure she will.’

Janet looked upset as she said, ‘Yes, you have to go, Mom. But I don’t know what I’ll do without you. I think I’ll run over to Mrs. Pettifer and ask her to come stay with me while you’re gone. I’m sure she’ll agree.’

At twelve o’clock, Janet, having seen her mother in the coach that was to carry her to Thurston, called, on her way back, at Mrs. Pettifer’s, but found, to her great disappointment, that her old friend was gone out for the day. So she wrote on a leaf of her pocket-book an urgent request that Mrs. Pettifer would come and stay with her while her mother was away; and, desiring the servant-girl to give it to her mistress as soon as she came home, walked on to the Vicarage to sit with Mrs. Crewe, thinking to relieve in this way the feeling of desolateness and undefined fear that was taking possession of her on being left alone for the first time since that great crisis in her life. And Mrs. Crewe, too, was not at home!

At noon, Janet, having seen her mother off in the coach that was taking her to Thurston, stopped by Mrs. Pettifer’s on her way back but was very disappointed to find that her old friend was out for the day. So, she wrote a note on a page of her pocket-book urgently asking Mrs. Pettifer to come and stay with her while her mother was away. She told the maid to give it to her as soon as she got home and then walked on to the Vicarage to sit with Mrs. Crewe, hoping to ease the loneliness and vague fear creeping in on her now that she was alone for the first time since that major turning point in her life. And Mrs. Crewe wasn’t home either!

Janet, with a sense of discouragement for which she rebuked herself as childish, walked sadly home again; and when she entered the vacant dining-room, she could not help bursting into tears. It is such vague undefinable states of susceptibility as this—states of excitement or depression, half mental, half physical—that determine many a tragedy in women’s lives. Janet could scarcely eat anything at her solitary dinner: she tried to fix her attention on a book in vain; she walked about the garden, and felt the very sunshine melancholy.

Janet, feeling discouraged—something she scolded herself for as being childish—walked home sadly once more; and when she stepped into the empty dining room, she couldn't hold back her tears. It's these vague, hard-to-describe feelings of vulnerability, whether they stem from excitement or sadness, that often lead to tragedy in women's lives. At her lonely dinner, Janet could hardly eat anything: she tried to focus on a book but couldn't; she wandered around the garden and found even the sunshine to be depressing.

Between four and five o’clock, old Mr. Pittman called, and joined her in the garden, where she had been sitting for some time under one of the great apple-trees, thinking how Robert, in his best moods, used to take little Mamsey to look at the cucumbers, or to see the Alderney cow with its calf in the paddock. The tears and sobs had come again at these thoughts; and when Mr. Pittman approached her, she was feeling languid and exhausted. But the old gentleman’s sight and sensibility were obtuse, and, to Janet’s satisfaction, he showed no consciousness that she was in grief.

Between four and five o’clock, old Mr. Pittman came by and joined her in the garden, where she had been sitting for a while under one of the large apple trees, thinking about how Robert, in his happier moments, used to take little Mamsey to look at the cucumbers or to see the Alderney cow with its calf in the paddock. Tears and sobs had returned with these thoughts, and when Mr. Pittman approached her, she was feeling weak and drained. However, the old gentleman was oblivious and, to Janet's relief, he showed no awareness that she was grieving.

‘I have a task to impose upon you, Mrs. Dempster,’ he said, with a certain toothless pomposity habitual to him: ‘I want you to look over those letters again in Dempster’s bureau, and see if you can find one from Poole about the mortgage on those houses at Dingley. It will be worth twenty pounds, if you can find it; and I don’t know where it can be, if it isn’t among those letters in the bureau. I’ve looked everywhere at the office for it. I’m going home now, but I’ll call again to-morrow, if you’ll be good enough to look in the meantime.’

"I have a task for you, Mrs. Dempster," he said, with a certain pompousness that was typical of him: "I need you to go through those letters in Dempster’s desk again and see if you can find one from Poole about the mortgage on the houses at Dingley. It will be worth twenty pounds if you can locate it, and I have no idea where else it could be if it's not among those letters in the desk. I've searched everywhere at the office for it. I'm heading home now, but I'll stop by again tomorrow if you could kindly check in the meantime."

Janet said she would look directly, and turned with Mr. Pittman into the house. But the search would take her some time, so he bade her good-bye, and she went at once to a bureau which stood in a small back-room, where Dempster used sometimes to write letters and receive people who came on business out of office hours. She had looked through the contents of the bureau more than once; but to-day, on removing the last bundle of letters from one of the compartments, she saw what she had never seen before, a small nick in the wood, made in the shape of a thumb-nail, evidently intended as a means of pushing aside the movable back of the compartment. In her examination hitherto she had not found such a letter as Mr. Pittman had described—perhaps there might be more letters behind this slide. She pushed it back at once, and saw—no letters, but a small spirit-decanter, half full of pale brandy, Dempster’s habitual drink.

Janet said she would look directly and turned with Mr. Pittman into the house. But the search would take her some time, so he said goodbye, and she immediately went to a bureau in a small back room, where Dempster sometimes wrote letters and met people for business after hours. She had gone through the contents of the bureau more than once, but today, when she removed the last bundle of letters from one of the compartments, she noticed something she had never seen before—a small nick in the wood shaped like a thumbprint, obviously meant to push aside the movable back of the compartment. In her previous searches, she hadn’t found the kind of letter Mr. Pittman had described—maybe there were more letters behind this slide. She pushed it back right away and saw—not letters, but a small spirit decanter, half full of pale brandy, Dempster’s usual drink.

An impetuous desire shook Janet through all her members; it seemed to master her with the inevitable force of strong fumes that flood our senses before we are aware. Her hand was on the decanter: pale and excited, she was lifting it out of its niche, when, with a start and a shudder, she dashed it to the ground, and the room was filled with the odour of the spirit. Without staying to shut up the bureau, she rushed out of the room, snatched up her bonnet and mantle which lay in the dining-room, and hurried out of the house.

An impulsive urge surged through Janet, overwhelming her like strong fumes that hit our senses before we even realize it. Her hand reached for the decanter: pale and excited, she was pulling it from its spot when, suddenly, she jolted and shivered, throwing it to the ground, filling the room with the smell of the liquor. Without taking the time to close the cabinet, she bolted out of the room, grabbed her hat and coat from the dining room, and rushed out of the house.

Where should she go? In what place would this demon that had re-entered her be scared back again? She walks rapidly along the street in the direction of the church. She is soon at the gate of the churchyard; she passes through it, and makes her way across the graves to a spot she knows—a spot where the turf was stirred not long ago, where a tomb is to be erected soon. It is very near the church wall, on the side which now lies in deep shadow, quite shut out from the rays of the westering sun by a projecting buttress.

Where should she go? Which place would scare this demon that had come back into her away again? She strides quickly down the street toward the church. Before long, she reaches the churchyard gate, goes through it, and makes her way across the graves to a spot she knows—a place where the ground was recently disturbed, where a tomb will be built soon. It's very close to the church wall, on the side that is now cast in deep shadow, completely blocked from the rays of the setting sun by a protruding buttress.

Janet sat down on the ground. It was a sombre spot. A thick hedge, surmounted by elm-trees, was in front of her; a projecting buttress on each side. But she wanted to shut out even these objects. Her thick crape veil was down; but she closed her eyes behind it, and pressed her hands upon them. She wanted to summon up the vision of the past; she wanted to lash the demon out of her soul with the stinging memories of the bygone misery; she wanted to renew the old horror and the old anguish, that she might throw herself with the more desperate clinging energy at the foot of the cross, where the Divine Sufferer would impart divine strength. She tried to recall those first bitter moments of shame, which were like the shuddering discovery of the leper that the dire taint is upon him; the deeper and deeper lapse; the on-coming of settled despair; the awful moments by the bedside of her self-maddened husband. And then she tried to live through, with a remembrance made more vivid by that contrast, the blessed hours of hope and joy and peace that had come to her of late, since her whole soul had been bent towards the attainment of purity and holiness.

Janet sat down on the ground. It was a gloomy spot. A thick hedge, topped by elm trees, stood in front of her, with a projecting buttress on each side. But she wanted to block out even these things. Her heavy mourning veil was down, but she closed her eyes behind it and pressed her hands against them. She wanted to bring back memories of the past; she needed to drive the darkness out of her soul with the sharp memories of her past pain; she wanted to relive the old horror and anguish so she could throw herself with desperate energy at the foot of the cross, where the Divine Sufferer would give her divine strength. She tried to remember those first bitter moments of shame, which felt like the terrible realization of a leper discovering their awful affliction; the deeper and deeper descent; the arrival of hopeless despair; the dreadful moments by the bedside of her self-destructive husband. And then she tried to live through, with a memory made more vivid by that contrast, the blessed hours of hope, joy, and peace that had come to her recently, since her whole soul had been focused on achieving purity and holiness.

But now, when the paroxysm of temptation was past, dread and despondency began to thrust themselves, like cold heavy mists, between her and the heaven to which she wanted to look for light and guidance. The temptation would come again—that rush of desire might overmaster her the next time—she would slip back again into that deep slimy pit from which she had been once rescued, and there might be no deliverance for her more. Her prayers did not help her, for fear predominated over trust; she had no confidence that the aid she sought would be given; the idea of her future fall had grasped her mind too strongly. Alone, in this way, she was powerless. If she could see Mr. Tryan, if she could confess all to him, she might gather hope again. She must see him; she must go to him.

But now, when the wave of temptation had passed, fear and hopelessness started to creep in, like cold, heavy fog, blocking her from the heaven she looked to for light and guidance. The temptation would come again—that rush of desire might overpower her next time—she could fall back into that deep, slimy pit from which she had once been rescued, and there might be no escaping it again. Her prayers didn’t help her, as fear overshadowed trust; she had no confidence that the help she sought would come; the thought of her future downfall had taken hold of her mind too strongly. Alone, she felt helpless. If she could just see Mr. Tryan, if she could confess everything to him, maybe she could feel hopeful again. She had to see him; she had to go to him.

Janet rose from the ground, and walked away with a quick resolved step. She had been seated there a long while, and the sun had already sunk. It was late for her to walk to Paddiford and go to Mr. Tryan’s, where she had never called before; but there was no other way of seeing him that evening, and she could not hesitate about it. She walked towards a footpath through the fields, which would take her to Paddiford without obliging her to go through the town. The way was rather long, but she preferred it, because it left less probability of her meeting acquaintances, and she shrank from having to speak to any one.

Janet got up from the ground and walked away with a quick, determined step. She had been sitting there for a long time, and the sun had already set. It was late for her to walk to Paddiford and visit Mr. Tryan, whom she had never met before; but there was no other way to see him that evening, and she couldn’t hesitate about it. She headed towards a footpath through the fields that would take her to Paddiford without going through the town. The route was a bit longer, but she preferred it because it reduced the chances of running into anyone she knew, and she wanted to avoid having to talk to anyone.

The evening red had nearly faded by the time Janet knocked at Mrs. Wagstaff’s door. The good woman looked surprised to see her at that hour; but Janet’s mourning weeds and the painful agitation of her face quickly brought the second thought, that some urgent trouble had sent her there.

The evening red had almost disappeared by the time Janet knocked on Mrs. Wagstaff’s door. The kind woman seemed surprised to see her at that hour, but Janet’s black clothing and the distress on her face quickly suggested that something serious had brought her there.

‘Mr. Tryan’s just come in,’ she said. ‘If you’ll step into the parlour, I’ll go up and tell him you’re here. He seemed very tired and poorly.’

‘Mr. Tryan just arrived,’ she said. ‘If you’ll go into the living room, I’ll go up and let him know you’re here. He looked really tired and not well.’

At another time Janet would have felt distress at the idea that she was disturbing Mr. Tryan when he required rest; but now her need was too great for that: she could feel nothing but a sense of coming relief, when she heard his step on the stair and saw him enter the room.

At another time, Janet would have felt upset about bothering Mr. Tryan when he needed to rest; but now her need was too strong for that: she could feel nothing but a sense of relief approaching when she heard his footsteps on the stairs and saw him walk into the room.

He went towards her with a look of anxiety, and said, ‘I fear something is the matter. I fear you are in trouble.’

He approached her with an anxious expression and said, "I think something’s wrong. I think you’re in trouble."

Then poor Janet poured forth her sad tale of temptation and despondency; and even while she was confessing she felt half her burden removed. The act of confiding in human sympathy, the consciousness that a fellow-being was listening to her with patient pity, prepared her soul for that stronger leap by which faith grasps the idea of the Divine sympathy. When Mr. Tryan spoke words of consolation and encouragement, she could now believe the message of mercy; the water-floods that had threatened to overwhelm her rolled back again, and life once more spread its heaven-covered space before her. She had been unable to pray alone; but now his prayer bore her own soul along with it, as the broad tongue of flame carries upwards in its vigorous leap the little flickering fire that could hardly keep alight by itself.

Then poor Janet shared her sad story of temptation and despair; and even as she confessed, she felt half her burden lift. The act of opening up to someone who cared, the awareness that another person was listening with compassion, prepared her heart for that bigger leap where faith understands the idea of Divine compassion. When Mr. Tryan offered words of comfort and encouragement, she could now trust the message of mercy; the overwhelming flood of emotions that had threatened to drown her receded, and life once again unfolded its vast, hopeful space before her. She had been unable to pray on her own, but now his prayer lifted her spirit along with it, just as a strong flame carries a struggling little candle that can barely stay lit on its own.

But Mr. Tryan was anxious that Janet should not linger out at this late hour. When he saw that she was calmed, he said, ‘I will walk home with you now; we can talk on the way.’ But Janet’s mind was now sufficiently at liberty for her to notice the signs of feverish weariness in his appearance, and she would not hear of causing him any further fatigue.

But Mr. Tryan was concerned that Janet shouldn't be out at this late hour. Once he saw that she was calmer, he said, "I'll walk home with you now; we can chat on the way." However, Janet's mind was now clear enough for her to notice how tired he looked, and she refused to let him exert himself any more.

‘No, no,’ she said, earnestly, ‘you will pain me very much—indeed you will, by going out again to-night on my account. There is no real reason why I should not go alone.’ And when he persisted, fearing that for her to be seen out so late alone might excite remark, she said imploringly, with a half sob in her voice, ‘What should I—what would others like me do, if you went from us? Why will you not think more of that, and take care of yourself?’

‘No, no,’ she said earnestly, ‘you will really hurt me—truly you will—by going out again tonight because of me. There’s no good reason why I shouldn’t go alone.’ And when he kept insisting, worried that seeing her out so late alone might draw attention, she said desperately, with a half sob in her voice, ‘What should I—what would others like me do if you left us? Why can’t you think more about that and take care of yourself?’

He had often had that appeal made to him before, but to-night—from Janet’s lips—it seemed to have a new force for him, and he gave way. At first, indeed, he only did so on condition that she would let Mrs. Wagstaff go with her; but Janet had determined to walk home alone. She preferred solitude; she wished not to have her present feelings distracted by any conversation.

He had often heard that request before, but tonight—from Janet’s lips—it felt different to him, and he gave in. At first, he only agreed on the condition that she would let Mrs. Wagstaff accompany her; but Janet had decided to walk home alone. She preferred solitude and didn’t want her current feelings interrupted by any conversation.

So she went out into the dewy starlight; and as Mr. Tryan turned away from her, he felt a stronger wish than ever that his fragile life might last out for him to see Janet’s restoration thoroughly established—to see her no longer fleeing, struggling, clinging up the steep sides of a precipice whence she might be any moment hurled back into the depths of despair, but walking firmly on the level ground of habit. He inwardly resolved that nothing but a peremptory duty should ever take him from Milby—that he would not cease to watch over her until life forsook him.

So she stepped out into the dewy starlight; and as Mr. Tryan turned away from her, he felt a stronger desire than ever for his fragile life to last long enough for him to see Janet’s recovery fully established. He wanted to see her no longer running away, struggling, or clinging to the steep sides of a cliff from which she could be thrown back into the depths of despair at any moment, but instead walking confidently on solid ground. He silently vowed that only an urgent duty would ever pull him away from Milby—that he wouldn’t stop watching over her until life left him.

Janet walked on quickly till she turned into the fields; then she slackened her pace a little, enjoying the sense of solitude which a few hours before had been intolerable to her. The Divine Presence did not now seem far off, where she had not wings to reach it; prayer itself seemed superfluous in those moments of calm trust. The temptation which had so lately made her shudder before the possibilities of the future, was now a source of confidence; for had she not been delivered from it? Had not rescue come in the extremity of danger? Yes; Infinite Love was caring for her. She felt like a little child whose hand is firmly grasped by its father, as its frail limbs make their way over the rough ground; if it should stumble, the father will not let it go.

Janet walked quickly until she entered the fields; then she slowed down, enjoying the solitude that just a few hours ago had felt unbearable. The feeling of the Divine Presence didn’t seem distant now, as if she lacked the wings to reach it; even prayer felt unnecessary in those moments of calm trust. The temptation that had recently made her shudder at the future felt like a source of confidence now; hadn’t she been freed from it? Hadn’t she been rescued in the face of danger? Yes; Infinite Love was looking out for her. She felt like a little child holding tightly to her father’s hand, navigating the rough terrain; if she stumbled, her father wouldn’t let her go.

That walk in the dewy starlight remained for ever in Janet’s memory as one of those baptismal epochs, when the soul, dipped in the sacred waters of joy and peace, rises from them with new energies, with more unalterable longings.

That walk in the dewy starlight stayed with Janet forever as one of those moments of renewal, when the soul, immersed in the sacred waters of joy and peace, emerges with new energy and deeper desires.

When she reached home she found Mrs. Pettifer there, anxious for her return. After thanking her for coming, Janet only said, ‘I have been to Mr. Tryan’s; I wanted to speak to him;’ and then remembering how she had left the bureau and papers, she went into the back-room, where, apparently, no one had been since she quitted it; for there lay the fragments of glass, and the room was still full of the hateful odour. How feeble and miserable the temptation seemed to her at this moment! She rang for Kitty to come and pick up the fragments and rub the floor, while she herself replaced the papers and locked up the bureau.

When she got home, she found Mrs. Pettifer waiting for her, worried about her return. After thanking her for being there, Janet simply said, "I went to see Mr. Tryan; I wanted to talk to him." Then, remembering how she had left the bureau and papers, she went into the back room, where it seemed no one had been since she left; the shards of glass were still there, and the room was still filled with that terrible smell. The temptation felt so weak and pathetic to her at that moment! She called for Kitty to come and clean up the glass and wipe the floor, while she took care of putting the papers back and locking the bureau.

The next morning, when seated at breakfast with Mrs. Pettifer, Janet said,—‘What a dreary unhealthy-looking place that is where Mr. Tryan lives! I’m sure it must be very bad for him to live there. Do you know, all this morning, since I’ve been awake, I’ve been turning over a little plan in my mind. I think it a charming one—all the more, because you are concerned in it.’

The next morning, while having breakfast with Mrs. Pettifer, Janet said, “What a gloomy, unhealthy-looking place where Mr. Tryan lives! I’m sure it’s really bad for him to be living there. You know, all morning since I’ve been awake, I’ve been thinking about a little plan. I think it’s a great idea—especially because you’re involved in it.”

‘Why, what can that be?’

‘What could that be?’

‘You know that house on the Redhill road they call Holly Mount; it is shut up now. That is Robert’s house; at least, it is mine now, and it stands on one of the healthiest spots about here. Now, I’ve been settling in my own mind, that if a dear good woman of my acquaintance, who knows how to make a home as comfortable and cosy as a bird’s nest, were to take up her abode there, and have Mr. Tryan as a lodger, she would be doing one of the most useful deeds in all her useful life.’

‘You know that house on Redhill Road called Holly Mount; it’s closed up now. That’s Robert’s house; well, it’s mine now, and it’s located in one of the healthiest spots around here. So, I’ve been thinking that if a lovely, good woman I know, who can make a home as comfortable and cozy as a bird’s nest, were to move in there and have Mr. Tryan as a lodger, she would be doing one of the most helpful things in her entire life.’

‘You’ve such a way of wrapping up things in pretty words. You must speak plainer.’

‘You have a way of saying things in fancy words. You should speak more clearly.’

‘In plain words, then, I should like to settle you at Holly Mount. You would not have to pay any more rent than where you are, and it would be twenty times pleasanter for you than living up that passage where you see nothing but a brick wall. And then, as it is not far from Paddiford, I think Mr. Tryan might be persuaded to lodge with you, instead of in that musty house, among dead cabbages and smoky cottages. I know you would like to have him live with you, and you would be such a mother to him.’

‘To be clear, I would like to set you up at Holly Mount. You wouldn't have to pay any more rent than what you're currently paying, and it would be way nicer for you than living down that corridor where all you see is a brick wall. Plus, since it's not far from Paddiford, I think Mr. Tryan could be convinced to stay with you instead of in that stuffy house, surrounded by decaying cabbages and smoky cottages. I know you’d enjoy having him live with you, and you would take such good care of him.’

‘To be sure I should like it; it would be the finest thing in the world for me. But there’ll be furniture wanted. My little bit of furniture won’t fill that house.’

‘Of course I would love it; it would be the best thing for me. But I’ll need furniture. My small amount of furniture won’t fill that house.’

‘O, I can put some in out of this house; it is too full; and we can buy the rest. They tell me I’m to have more money than I shall know what to do with.’

‘Oh, I can take some out of this house; it's too full; and we can buy the rest. They say I’m going to have more money than I’ll know what to do with.’

‘I’m almost afraid,’ said Mrs. Pettifer, doubtfully, ‘Mr. Tryan will hardly be persuaded. He’s been talked to so much about leaving that place; and he always said he must stay there—he must be among the people, and there was no other place for him in Paddiford. It cuts me to the heart to see him getting thinner and thinner, and I’ve noticed him quite short o’ breath sometimes. Mrs. Linnet will have it, Mrs. Wagstaff half poisons him with bad cooking. I don’t know about that, but he can’t have many comforts. I expect he’ll break down all of a sudden some day, and never be able to preach any more.’

"I’m really worried," said Mrs. Pettifer, uncertainly. "Mr. Tryan probably won’t be convinced. He’s had so many conversations about leaving that place, and he always insists that he has to stay there—he needs to be with the people, and there’s no other place for him in Paddiford. It breaks my heart to see him getting thinner and thinner, and sometimes I’ve noticed he’s a bit short of breath. Mrs. Linnet believes that Mrs. Wagstaff is half poisoning him with her terrible cooking. I’m not sure about that, but he doesn’t seem to have many comforts. I’m afraid he’ll suddenly fall apart one day and won’t be able to preach anymore."

‘Well, I shall try my skill with him by and by. I shall be very cunning, and say nothing to him till all is ready. You and I and mother, when she comes home, will set to work directly and get the house in order, and then we’ll get you snugly settled in it. I shall see Mr. Pittman to-day, and I will tell him what I mean to do. I shall say I wish to have you for a tenant. Everybody knows I’m very fond of that naughty person, Mrs. Pettifer; so it will seem the most natural thing in the world. And then I shall by and by point out to Mr. Tryan that he will be doing you a service as well as himself by taking up his abode with you. I think I can prevail upon him; for last night, when he was quite bent on coming out into the night air, I persuaded him to give it up.’

‘Well, I’ll try my skills with him eventually. I’ll be clever and won’t say anything until everything is ready. You, me, and Mom, when she gets back, will start working right away to get the house sorted out, and then we’ll get you comfortably settled in. I’m seeing Mr. Pittman today, and I’ll tell him what I plan to do. I’ll mention that I want you as a tenant. Everyone knows I’m quite fond of that troublesome person, Mrs. Pettifer, so it’ll seem completely natural. Later, I’ll point out to Mr. Tryan that he’ll be helping you as well as himself by moving in with you. I think I can convince him; last night, when he was really set on going out into the night air, I managed to talk him out of it.’

‘Well, I only hope you may, my dear. I don’t desire anything better than to do something towards prolonging Mr. Tryan’s life, for I’ve sad fears about him.’

'Well, I just hope you can, my dear. I don't want anything more than to help extend Mr. Tryan's life because I have serious concerns about him.'

‘Don’t speak of them—I can’t bear to think of them. We will only think about getting the house ready. We shall be as busy as bees. How we shall want mother’s clever fingers! I know the room up-stairs that will just do for Mr. Tryan’s study. There shall be no seats in it except a very easy chair and a very easy sofa, so that he shall be obliged to rest himself when he comes home.’

‘Don’t talk about them—I can’t stand to think about them. We’ll just focus on getting the house ready. We’ll be as busy as bees. How we’ll need Mom’s handy skills! I know the upstairs room that will be perfect for Mr. Tryan’s study. There won’t be any chairs in it except a really comfy chair and a super cozy sofa, so he’ll have to take a break when he gets home.’

Chapter 26

That was the last terrible crisis of temptation Janet had to pass through. The goodwill of her neighbours, the helpful sympathy of the friends who shared her religious feelings, the occupations suggested to her by Mr. Tryan, concurred, with her strong spontaneous impulses towards works of love and mercy, to fill up her days with quiet social intercourse and charitable exertion. Besides, her constitution, naturally healthy and strong, was every week tending, with the gathering force of habit, to recover its equipoise, and set her free from those physical solicitations which the smallest habitual vice always leaves behind it. The prisoner feels where the iron has galled him, long after his fetters have been loosed.

That was the last tough moment of temptation Janet had to get through. The kindness of her neighbors, the supportive understanding of friends who shared her faith, and the activities suggested by Mr. Tryan all came together with her strong natural desire to do acts of love and kindness, filling her days with quiet social interactions and charitable efforts. Plus, her naturally healthy and strong body was gradually finding its balance again each week, freeing her from the physical cravings left behind by even the smallest bad habits. A prisoner feels the pain of the chains long after they’ve been removed.

There were always neighbourly visits to be paid and received; and as the months wore on, increasing familiarity with Janet’s present self began to efface, even from minds as rigid as Mrs. Phipps’s, the unpleasant impressions that had been left by recent years. Janet was recovering the popularity which her beauty and sweetness of nature had won for her when she was a girl; and popularity, as every one knows, is the most complex and self-multiplying of echoes. Even anti-Tryanite prejudice could not resist the fact that Janet Dempster was a changed woman—changed as the dusty, bruised, and sun-withered plant is changed when the soft rains of heaven have fallen on it—and that this change was due to Mr. Tryan’s influence. The last lingering sneers against the Evangelical curate began to die out; and though much of the feeling that had prompted them remained behind, there was an intimidating consciousness that the expression of such feeling would not be effective—jokes of that sort had ceased to tickle the Milby mind. Even Mr. Budd and Mr. Tomlinson, when they saw Mr. Tryan passing pale and worn along the street, had a secret sense that this man was somehow not that very natural and comprehensible thing, a humbug—that, in fact, it was impossible to explain him from the stomach and pocket point of view. Twist and stretch their theory as they might, it would not fit Mr. Tryan; and so, with that remarkable resemblance as to mental processes which may frequently be observed to exist between plain men and philosophers, they concluded that the less they said about him the better.

There were always neighborly visits to be made and received; and as the months went by, people began to see a new side of Janet that started to erase, even in minds as rigid as Mrs. Phipps’s, the unpleasant memories from recent years. Janet was regaining the popularity that her beauty and kind nature had earned her as a girl; and popularity, as everyone knows, has a way of creating more popularity. Even anti-Tryanite bias couldn’t deny that Janet Dempster had changed—changed like a dusty, bruised, and sun-parched plant that blooms anew after gentle rain—and that this transformation was thanks to Mr. Tryan’s influence. The last lingering snickers at the Evangelical curate began to fade; and while much of the resentment that had fueled them still lingered, there was a growing awareness that voicing such feelings wouldn’t have any effect—those kinds of jokes no longer amused the Milby crowd. Even Mr. Budd and Mr. Tomlinson, upon seeing Mr. Tryan pass by looking pale and worn, had a quiet sense that this man was somehow not the typical humbug—that, in fact, he couldn’t be explained in terms of money and material gain. No matter how hard they twisted and stretched their theories, it wouldn’t fit Mr. Tryan; and so, remarkably echoing the thought processes often seen between ordinary people and philosophers, they decided that the less said about him, the better.

Among all Janet’s neighbourly pleasures, there was nothing she liked better than to take an early tea at the White House, and to stroll with Mr. Jerome round the old-fashioned garden and orchard. There was endless matter for talk between her and the good old man, for Janet had that genuine delight in human fellowship which gives an interest to all personal details that come warm from truthful lips; and, besides, they had a common interest in good-natured plans for helping their poorer neighbours. One great object of Mr. Jerome’s charities was, as he often said, ‘to keep industrious men an’ women off the parish. I’d rether given ten shillin’ an’ help a man to stand on his own legs, nor pay half-a-crown to buy him a parish crutch; it’s the ruination on him if he once goes to the parish. I’ve see’d many a time, if you help a man wi’ a present in a neeborly way, it sweetens his blood—he thinks it kind on you; but the parish shillins turn it sour—he niver thinks ’em enough.’ In illustration of this opinion Mr. Jerome had a large store of details about such persons as Jim Hardy, the coal-carrier, ‘as lost his hoss,’ and Sally Butts, ‘as hed to sell her mangle, though she was as decent a woman as need to be’; to the hearing of which details Janet seriously inclined; and you would hardly desire to see a prettier picture than the kind-faced white-haired old man telling these fragments of his simple experience as he walked, with shoulders slightly bent, among the moss-roses and espalier apple-trees, while Janet in her widow’s cap, her dark eyes bright with interest, went listening by his side, and little Lizzie, with her nankeen bonnet hanging down her back, toddled on before them. Mrs. Jerome usually declined these lingering strolls, and often observed, ‘I niver see the like to Mr. Jerome when he’s got Mrs. Dempster to talk to; it sinnifies nothin’ to him whether we’ve tea at four or at five o’clock; he’d go on till six, if you’d let him alone—he’s like off his head.’ However, Mrs. Jerome herself could not deny that Janet was a very pretty-spoken woman: ‘She al’ys says, she niver gets sich pikelets as mine nowhere; I know that very well—other folks buy ’em at shops—thick, unwholesome things, you might as well eat a sponge.’

Among all of Janet’s neighborly delights, nothing brought her more joy than having an early tea at the White House and wandering with Mr. Jerome around the old-fashioned garden and orchard. There was endless conversation between her and the good old man because Janet had a genuine love for connecting with others, which made even the simplest personal details from truthful lips interesting; plus, they shared a common interest in kind-hearted plans to assist their less fortunate neighbors. One major goal of Mr. Jerome’s charitable efforts was, as he often said, “to keep hardworking men and women off the welfare rolls. I’d rather give ten shillings to help a man stand on his own two feet than pay two and six to buy him a crutch from the parish; it ruins him if he ever relies on the parish. I’ve seen many times that if you help a man with a gift in a neighborly way, it lifts his spirits—he appreciates your kindness; but the parish shillings turn it sour—he never feels it’s enough.” To illustrate this view, Mr. Jerome had a wealth of stories about people like Jim Hardy, the coal carrier who “lost his horse,” and Sally Butts, “who had to sell her mangle, even though she was a perfectly decent woman.” Janet listened intently to these stories, and you couldn’t ask for a prettier scene than the kind-faced, white-haired old man sharing his simple experiences as he walked, slightly hunched, among the moss roses and espalier apple trees, while Janet, in her widow’s cap with her dark eyes sparkling with interest, listened by his side, and little Lizzie, with her nankeen bonnet dangling down her back, toddled ahead of them. Mrs. Jerome usually skipped these leisurely walks and often remarked, “I’ve never seen anything like Mr. Jerome when he’s got Mrs. Dempster to talk to; it doesn’t matter to him whether we have tea at four or five o’clock; he’d keep going till six if you let him—he’s like he’s lost his mind.” However, even Mrs. Jerome couldn't deny that Janet was a very pleasant woman to talk to: “She always says she never gets such pancakes as mine anywhere; I know that very well—other folks buy them at shops—thick, unwholesome things, you might as well eat a sponge.”

The sight of little Lizzie often stirred in Janet’s mind a sense of the childlessness which had made a fatal blank in her life. She had fleeting thoughts that perhaps among her husband’s distant relatives there might be some children whom she could help to bring up, some little girl whom she might adopt; and she promised herself one day or other to hunt out a second cousin of his—a married woman, of whom he had lost sight for many years.

The sight of little Lizzie often reminded Janet of the emptiness that childlessness had created in her life. She occasionally thought that maybe among her husband’s distant relatives, there could be some kids she could help raise, or a little girl she might adopt; and she promised herself that one day she'd track down a second cousin of his—a married woman he had lost touch with many years ago.

But at present her hands and heart were too full for her to carry out that scheme. To her great disappointment, her project of settling Mrs. Pettifer at Holly Mount had been delayed by the discovery that some repairs were necessary in order to make the house habitable, and it was not till September had set in that she had the satisfaction of seeing her old friend comfortably installed, and the rooms destined for Mr. Tryan looking pretty and cosy to her heart’s content. She had taken several of his chief friends into her confidence, and they were warmly wishing success to her plan for inducing him to quit poor Mrs. Wagstaff’s dingy house and dubious cookery. That he should consent to some such change was becoming more and more a matter of anxiety to his hearers; for though no more decided symptoms were yet observable in him than increasing emaciation, a dry hacking cough, and an occasional shortness of breath, it was felt that the fulfilment of Mr. Pratt’s prediction could not long be deferred, and that this obstinate persistence in labour and self-disregard must soon be peremptorily cut short by a total failure of strength. Any hopes that the influence of Mr. Tryan’s father and sister would prevail on him to change his mode of life—that they would perhaps come to live with him, or that his sister at least might come to see him, and that the arguments which had failed from other lips might be more persuasive from hers—were now quite dissipated. His father had lately had an attack of paralysis, and could not spare his only daughter’s tendance. On Mr. Tryan’s return from a visit to his father, Miss Linnet was very anxious to know whether his sister had not urged him to try change of air. From his answers she gathered that Miss Tryan wished him to give up his curacy and travel, or at least go to the south Devonshire coast.

But right now, her hands and heart were too full to follow through with that plan. To her great disappointment, her idea of getting Mrs. Pettifer settled at Holly Mount was delayed by the discovery that some repairs were needed to make the house livable. It wasn't until September that she finally saw her old friend comfortably settled in, with the rooms planned for Mr. Tryan looking nice and cozy, just the way she wanted. She had confided in several of his close friends, and they were all eagerly hoping for success in her effort to convince him to leave poor Mrs. Wagstaff’s dreary house and questionable cooking. It was becoming more and more concerning for his friends that he might agree to such a change; although no more definite symptoms were visible in him beyond his growing weakness, a dry, persistent cough, and occasional shortness of breath, everyone felt that Mr. Pratt’s prediction couldn’t be postponed much longer, and that Mr. Tryan's stubborn dedication to work and self-neglect would soon come to an abrupt end due to total exhaustion. Any hopes that Mr. Tryan's father and sister might persuade him to change his lifestyle—that they might come to live with him, or at least that his sister could visit him and offer arguments that might resonate more with him—had now completely faded. His father had recently suffered a stroke and couldn't let his only daughter leave his side. When Mr. Tryan returned from a visit to his father, Miss Linnet was very eager to find out whether his sister had urged him to try a change of scenery. From his responses, she gathered that Miss Tryan wanted him to give up his curacy and travel, or at least go to the south Devonshire coast.

‘And why will you not do so?’ Miss Linnet said; ‘you might come back to us well and strong, and have many years of usefulness before you.’

‘And why won’t you do that?’ Miss Linnet said; ‘you could come back to us healthy and strong, and have many years of being helpful ahead of you.’

‘No,’ he answered quietly, ‘I think people attach more importance to such measures than is warranted. I don’t see any good end that is to be served by going to die at Nice, instead of dying amongst one’s friends and one’s work. I cannot leave Milby—at least I will not leave it voluntarily.’

‘No,’ he replied softly, ‘I believe people place more importance on these things than they deserve. I don’t see any real benefit in dying in Nice instead of being surrounded by friends and my work. I can’t leave Milby—at least I won’t leave it willingly.’

But though he remained immovable on this point, he had been compelled to give up his afternoon service on the Sunday, and to accept Mr. Parry’s offer of aid in the evening service, as well as to curtail his week-day labours; and he had even written to Mr. Prendergast to request that he would appoint another curate to the Paddiford district, on the understanding that the new curate should receive the salary, but that Mr. Tryan should co-operate with him as long as he was able. The hopefulness which is an almost constant attendant on consumption, had not the effect of deceiving him as to the nature of his malady, or of making him look forward to ultimate recovery. He believed himself to be consumptive, and he had not yet felt any desire to escape the early death which he had for some time contemplated as probable. Even diseased hopes will take their direction from the strong habitual bias of the mind, and to Mr. Tryan death had for years seemed nothing else than the laying down of a burden, under which he sometimes felt himself fainting. He was only sanguine about his powers of work: he flattered himself that what he was unable to do one week he should be equal to the next, and he would not admit that in desisting from any part of his labour he was renouncing it permanently. He had lately delighted Mr. Jerome by accepting his long-proffered loan of the ‘little chacenut hoss;’ and he found so much benefit from substituting constant riding exercise for walking, that he began to think he should soon be able to resume some of the work he had dropped.

But even though he stood firm on this matter, he had to give up his Sunday afternoon service and accept Mr. Parry’s offer to help with the evening service, as well as reduce his weekday duties. He had even written to Mr. Prendergast asking him to appoint another curate for the Paddiford district, agreeing that the new curate would receive the salary, while Mr. Tryan would assist him as much as he could. The optimism that often accompanies consumption didn’t trick him into thinking he was any better or lead him to expect a full recovery. He believed he was consumptive and hadn’t felt any urge to avoid the early death he had been anticipating for a while. Even misguided hopes tend to align with the mind’s strong habitual tendencies, and to Mr. Tryan, death had long seemed like simply laying down a burden that sometimes made him feel faint. He was only optimistic about his ability to work: he convinced himself that whatever he couldn’t do one week, he would be able to manage the next, and he wouldn't acknowledge that stepping back from any part of his duties meant permanently giving it up. Recently, he had pleased Mr. Jerome by finally accepting his long-offered loan of the ‘little chacenut hoss,’ and he found so much benefit from replacing walking with regular riding that he started to think he would soon be able to take on some of the work he had let go.

That was a happy afternoon for Janet, when, after exerting herself busily for a week with her mother and Mrs. Pettifer, she saw Holly Mount looking orderly and comfortable from attic to cellar. It was an old red-brick house, with two gables in front, and two clipped holly-trees flanking the garden-gate; a simple, homely-looking place, that quiet people might easily get fond of; and now it was scoured and polished and carpeted and furnished so as to look really snug within. When there was nothing more to be done, Janet delighted herself with contemplating Mr. Tryan’s study, first sitting down in the easy-chair, and then lying for a moment on the sofa, that she might have a keener sense of the repose he would get from those well-stuffed articles of furniture, which she had gone to Rotherby on purpose to choose.

That was a happy afternoon for Janet when, after working busily for a week with her mom and Mrs. Pettifer, she saw Holly Mount looking neat and cozy from top to bottom. It was an old red-brick house with two gables in front and two trimmed holly trees flanking the garden gate—a simple, homely place that quiet people could easily become fond of. And now it was scrubbed, polished, carpeted, and furnished to look really snug inside. When there was nothing else to do, Janet enjoyed contemplating Mr. Tryan’s study, first sitting down in the easy chair and then lying back on the sofa for a moment to feel the comfort he would get from those well-cushioned pieces of furniture that she had specifically gone to Rotherby to choose.

‘Now, mother,’ she said, when she had finished her survey, ‘you have done your work as well as any fairy-mother or god-mother that ever turned a pumpkin into a coach and horses. You stay and have tea cosily with Mrs. Pettifer while I go to Mrs. Linnet’s. I want to tell Mary and Rebecca the good news, that I’ve got the exciseman to promise that he will take Mrs. Wagstaff’s lodgings when Mr. Tryan leaves. They’ll be so pleased to hear it, because they thought he would make her poverty an objection to his leaving her.’

‘Now, Mom,’ she said, after she had finished looking around, ‘you’ve done your job just as well as any fairy godmother who ever turned a pumpkin into a carriage and horses. You stay and have a cozy tea with Mrs. Pettifer while I go to Mrs. Linnet’s. I want to tell Mary and Rebecca the good news that I got the exciseman to promise he would take Mrs. Wagstaff’s place when Mr. Tryan leaves. They’ll be so happy to hear it because they thought he would use her financial situation against her leaving.'

‘But, my dear child,’ said Mrs. Raynor, whose face, always calm, was now a happy one, ‘have a cup of tea with us first. You’ll perhaps miss Mrs. Linnet’s tea-time.’

‘But, my dear child,’ said Mrs. Raynor, whose face, always calm, was now a happy one, ‘have a cup of tea with us first. You might miss Mrs. Linnet’s tea-time.’

‘No, I feel too excited to take tea yet. I’m like a child with a new baby-house. Walking in the air will do me good.’

‘No, I’m too excited to have tea yet. I feel like a kid with a new dollhouse. A walk in the fresh air will do me good.’

So she set out. Holly Mount was about a mile from that outskirt of Paddiford Common where Mrs. Linnet’s house stood nestled among its laburnums, lilacs, and syringas. Janet’s way thither lay for a little while along the high-road, and then led her into a deep-rutted lane, which wound through a flat tract of meadow and pasture, while in front lay smoky Paddiford, and away to the left the mother-town of Milby. There was no line of silvery willows marking the course of a stream—no group of Scotch firs with their trunks reddening in the level sunbeams—nothing to break the flowerless monotony of grass and hedgerow but an occasional oak or elm, and a few cows sprinkled here and there. A very commonplace scene, indeed. But what scene was ever commonplace in the descending sunlight, when colour has awakened from its noonday sleep, and the long shadows awe us like a disclosed presence? Above all, what scene is commonplace to the eye that is filled with serene gladness, and brightens all things with its own joy?

So she set out. Holly Mount was about a mile from the edge of Paddiford Common, where Mrs. Linnet's house was tucked away among its laburnums, lilacs, and syringas. Janet's path there started along the main road for a bit, then took her into a deeply rutted lane that snaked through flat meadows and pastures. In front was smoky Paddiford, and off to the left was the larger town of Milby. There was no line of silvery willows to mark the stream—no group of Scotch firs with their trunks glowing in the afternoon sun—nothing to interrupt the dull stretch of grass and hedgerows, except for the occasional oak or elm, and a few cows scattered about. A very ordinary scene, indeed. But what scene is ever ordinary in the fading sunlight, when colors awaken from their midday slumber, and the long shadows fill us with a sense of wonder? Above all, what scene feels ordinary to an eye filled with peaceful joy, brightening everything with its own happiness?

And Janet just now was very happy. As she walked along the rough lane with a buoyant step, a half smile of innocent, kindly triumph played about her mouth. She was delighting beforehand in the anticipated success of her persuasive power, and for the time her painful anxiety about Mr. Tryan’s health was thrown into abeyance. But she had not gone far along the lane before she heard the sound of a horse advancing at a walking pace behind her. Without looking back, she turned aside to make way for it between the ruts, and did not notice that for a moment it had stopped, and had then come on with a slightly quickened pace. In less than a minute she heard a well-known voice say, ‘Mrs. Dempster’; and, turning, saw Mr. Tryan close to her, holding his horse by the bridle. It seemed very natural to her that he should be there. Her mind was so full of his presence at that moment, that the actual sight of him was only like a more vivid thought, and she behaved, as we are apt to do when feeling obliges us to be genuine, with a total forgetfulness of polite forms. She only looked at him with a slight deepening of the smile that was already on her face. He said gently, ‘Take my arm’; and they walked on a little way in silence.

And Janet was really happy right now. As she strode along the bumpy path with a light step, a slight smile of innocent, kind triumph played on her lips. She was already enjoying the thought of how successful her persuasion would be, and for the moment, her worrying about Mr. Tryan’s health faded away. But she hadn’t gone far down the path before she heard the sound of a horse moving at a slow pace behind her. Without looking back, she stepped aside to let it pass through the ruts and didn’t notice that it had stopped for a moment before picking up the pace slightly. In less than a minute, she heard a familiar voice say, ‘Mrs. Dempster’; and when she turned around, she saw Mr. Tryan right next to her, holding his horse by the bridle. It felt completely natural for him to be there. Her mind was so focused on his presence at that moment that actually seeing him felt like a more vivid thought, and she acted, as we often do when genuine feelings take over, with no concern for polite formalities. She just looked at him with a slight increase of the smile already on her face. He said gently, ‘Take my arm’; and they walked on a little way in silence.

It was he who broke it. ‘You are going to Paddiford, I suppose?’

It was him who broke it. ‘I assume you’re going to Paddiford?’

The question recalled Janet to the consciousness that this was an unexpected opportunity for beginning her work of persuasion, and that she was stupidly neglecting it.

The question reminded Janet that this was a surprising chance to start her persuasive efforts, and that she was foolishly ignoring it.

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I was going to Mrs. Linnet’s. I knew Miss Linnet would like to hear that our friend Mrs. Pettifer is quite settled now in her new house. She is as fond of Mrs. Pettifer as I am—almost; I won’t admit that any one loves her quite as well, for no one else has such good reason as I have. But now the dear woman wants a lodger, for you know she can’t afford to live in so large a house by herself. But I knew when I persuaded her to go there that she would be sure to get one—she’s such a comfortable creature to live with; and I didn’t like her to spend all the rest of her days up that dull passage, being at every one’s beck and call who wanted to make use of her.’

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘I was going to Mrs. Linnet’s. I knew Miss Linnet would want to hear that our friend Mrs. Pettifer is all settled now in her new house. She loves Mrs. Pettifer almost as much as I do; I won’t admit that anyone loves her quite as much, because no one has as good a reason as I do. But now the dear woman needs a lodger since she can’t afford to live in such a big house by herself. I knew when I convinced her to move there that she’d be sure to find one—she’s such an easy person to live with; and I didn’t want her to spend the rest of her days in that dull hallway, always at the beck and call of anyone who wanted to use her.’

‘Yes,’ said Mr. Tryan, ‘I quite understand your feeling; I don’t wonder at your strong regard for her.’

‘Yes,’ said Mr. Tryan, ‘I completely understand how you feel; I’m not surprised by your strong affection for her.’

‘Well, but now I want her other friends to second me. There she is, with three rooms to let, ready furnished, everything in order; and I know some one, who thinks as well of her as I do, and who would be doing good all round—to every one that knows him, as well as to Mrs. Pettifer, if he would go to live with her. He would leave some uncomfortable lodgings, which another person is already coveting and would take immediately; and he would go to breathe pure air at Holly Mount, and gladden Mrs. Pettifer’s heart by letting her wait on him; and comfort all his friends, who are quite miserable about him.’

'Well, I want her other friends to back me up. There she is, with three furnished rooms available, everything in order; and I know someone who thinks just as highly of her as I do, and who would be beneficial for everyone involved—both for him and for Mrs. Pettifer—if he moved in with her. He'd be leaving behind some uncomfortable lodgings that someone else is already eager to snatch up; and he would get to enjoy fresh air at Holly Mount, making Mrs. Pettifer happy by letting her take care of him; and he would also bring comfort to all his friends, who are really worried about him.'

Mr. Tryan saw it all in a moment—he saw that it had all been done for his sake. He could not be sorry; he could not say no; he could not resist the sense that life had a new sweetness for him, and that he should like it to be prolonged a little—only a little, for the sake of feeling a stronger security about Janet. When she had finished speaking, she looked at him with a doubtful, inquiring glance. He was not looking at her; his eyes were cast downwards; but the expression of his face encouraged her, and she said, in a half-playful tone of entreaty,—‘You will go and live with her? I know you will. You will come back with me now and see the house.’

Mr. Tryan realized everything in an instant—he understood it had all been done for him. He couldn’t feel regret; he couldn’t say no; he couldn’t fight the feeling that life had gained a new sweetness for him, and he wanted it to last just a bit longer—only a bit, so he could feel more secure about Janet. After she finished speaking, she looked at him with a doubtful, questioning glance. He wasn’t looking at her; his gaze was downcast; but the look on his face encouraged her, and she said playfully, “You will go and live with her? I know you will. You’ll come back with me now and see the house.”

He looked at her then, and smiled. There is an unspeakable blending of sadness and sweetness in the smile of a face sharpened and paled by slow consumption. That smile of Mr. Tryan’s pierced poor Janet’s heart: she felt in it at once the assurance of grateful affection and the prophecy of coming death. Her tears rose; they turned round without speaking, and went back again along the lane.

He looked at her then and smiled. There’s an indescribable mix of sadness and sweetness in the smile of a face worn down by slow decline. That smile of Mr. Tryan’s struck poor Janet’s heart: she felt in it both the assurance of heartfelt gratitude and the hint of impending loss. Tears welled up in her eyes; without saying a word, they turned around and walked back down the lane.

Chapter 27

In less than a week Mr. Tryan was settled at Holly Mount, and there was not one of his many attached hearers who did not sincerely rejoice at the event.

In less than a week, Mr. Tryan was settled at Holly Mount, and there wasn't a single one of his many devoted listeners who didn't genuinely celebrate the occasion.

The autumn that year was bright and warm, and at the beginning of October, Mr. Walsh, the new curate, came. The mild weather, the relaxation from excessive work, and perhaps another benignant influence, had for a few weeks a visibly favourable effect on Mr. Tryan. At least he began to feel new hopes, which sometimes took the guise of new strength. He thought of the cases in which consumption patients remain nearly stationary for years, without suffering so as to make their life burdensome to themselves or to others; and he began to struggle with a longing that it might be so with him. He struggled with it, because he felt it to be an indication that earthly affection was beginning to have too strong a hold on him, and he prayed earnestly for more perfect submission, and for a more absorbing delight in the Divine Presence as the chief good. He was conscious that he did not wish for prolonged life solely that he might reclaim the wanderers and sustain the feeble: he was conscious of a new yearning for those pure human joys which he had voluntarily and determinedly banished from his life—for a draught of that deep affection from which he had been cut off by a dark chasm of remorse. For now, that affection was within his reach; he saw it there, like a palm-shadowed well in the desert; he could not desire to die in sight of it.

The autumn that year was bright and warm, and at the start of October, Mr. Walsh, the new curate, arrived. The pleasant weather, the break from overwhelming work, and maybe another positive influence had a visibly good effect on Mr. Tryan for a few weeks. He started to feel new hopes, which sometimes felt like new strength. He thought about how sometimes tuberculosis patients can remain stable for years without suffering enough to make their lives burdensome for themselves or others; he began to wish it could be that way for him. He struggled with this desire because he sensed it indicated that earthly attachment was gaining too strong a hold on him, and he prayed earnestly for more complete submission and a deeper joy in the Divine Presence as his ultimate good. He was aware that he didn't want a longer life just to help those who had strayed and support the weak; he felt a newfound longing for the pure human joys he had chosen to eliminate from his life—for a taste of that deep affection he had been separated from by a dark chasm of remorse. Now, that affection was within his reach; he saw it there, like a palm-shaded well in the desert; he could not wish to die in sight of it.

And so the autumn rolled gently by in its ‘calm decay’. Until November, Mr. Tryan continued to preach occasionally, to ride about visiting his flock, and to look in at his schools: but his growing satisfaction in Mr. Walsh as his successor saved him from too eager exertion and from worrying anxieties. Janet was with him a great deal now, for she saw that he liked her to read to him in the lengthening evenings, and it became the rule for her and her mother to have tea at Holly Mount, where, with Mrs. Pettifer, and sometimes another friend or two, they brought Mr. Tryan the unaccustomed enjoyment of companionship by his own fireside.

And so autumn passed quietly by in its ‘calm decay.’ Until November, Mr. Tryan kept preaching occasionally, riding around to visit his congregation, and checking in at his schools. However, his growing confidence in Mr. Walsh as his successor kept him from overexerting himself and feeling anxious. Janet spent a lot of time with him now because she noticed he enjoyed having her read to him during the longer evenings. It became a routine for her and her mother to have tea at Holly Mount, where, along with Mrs. Pettifer and sometimes a couple of other friends, they offered Mr. Tryan the rare pleasure of companionship by his own fire.

Janet did not share his new hopes, for she was not only in the habit of hearing Mr. Pratt’s opinion that Mr. Tryan could hardly stand out through the winter, but she also knew that it was shared by Dr Madely of Rotherby, whom, at her request, he had consented to call in. It was not necessary or desirable to tell Mr. Tryan what was revealed by the stethoscope, but Janet knew the worst.

Janet didn’t share his new optimism because she not only usually heard Mr. Pratt’s opinion that Mr. Tryan could barely make it through the winter, but she also knew Dr. Madely from Rotherby agreed with him, having been called in at her request. It wasn’t necessary or wise to tell Mr. Tryan what was found out with the stethoscope, but Janet knew the worst.

She felt no rebellion under this prospect of bereavement, but rather a quiet submissive sorrow. Gratitude that his influence and guidance had been given her, even if only for a little while—gratitude that she was permitted to be with him, to take a deeper and deeper impress from daily communion with him, to be something to him in these last months of his life, was so strong in her that it almost silenced regret. Janet had lived through the great tragedy of woman’s life. Her keenest personal emotions had been poured forth in her early love—her wounded affection with its years of anguish—her agony of unavailing pity over that deathbed seven months ago. The thought of Mr. Tryan was associated for her with repose from that conflict of emotion, with trust in the unchangeable, with the influx of a power to subdue self. To have been assured of his sympathy, his teaching, his help, all through her life, would have been to her like a heaven already begun—a deliverance from fear and danger; but the time was not yet come for her to be conscious that the hold he had on her heart was any other than that of the heaven-sent friend who had come to her like the angel in the prison, and loosed her bonds, and led her by the hand till she could look back on the dreadful doors that had once closed her in.

She felt no rebellion at the thought of losing him; instead, she experienced a quiet, submissive sorrow. She was grateful for the influence and guidance he had given her, even if it was only for a brief time—thankful that she was allowed to be with him, to absorb more from their daily interactions, and to mean something to him in these last months of his life. This gratitude was so intense that it nearly drowned out her regret. Janet had gone through the major tragedy of a woman's life. Her deepest personal feelings had been expressed in her early love—her heartache filled with years of pain—her agony over that deathbed scene seven months ago. The thought of Mr. Tryan brought her peace from that emotional turmoil, trust in stability, and the strength to control herself. Knowing she could count on his sympathy, teachings, and support throughout her life would have felt like a piece of heaven—a release from fear and danger; but she wasn’t yet aware that his hold on her heart was more than that of a divinely sent friend who had come to her like an angel in a prison, freeing her from her chains and guiding her until she could look back at the terrifying doors that had once held her captive.

Before November was over Mr. Tryan had ceased to go out. A new crisis had come on: the cough had changed its character, and the worst symptoms developed themselves so rapidly that Mr. Pratt began to think the end would arrive sooner than he had expected. Janet became a constant attendant on him now, and no one could feel that she was performing anything but a sacred office. She made Holly Mount her home, and, with her mother and Mrs. Pettifer to help her, she filled the painful days and nights with every soothing influence that care and tenderness could devise. There were many visitors to the sick-room, led thither by venerating affection; and there could hardly be one who did not retain in after years a vivid remembrance of the scene there—of the pale wasted form in the easy-chair (for he sat up to the last), of the grey eyes so full even yet of inquiring kindness, as the thin, almost transparent hand was held out to give the pressure of welcome; and of the sweet woman, too, whose dark watchful eyes detected every want, and who supplied the want with a ready hand.

Before November ended, Mr. Tryan stopped going out. A new crisis had emerged: his cough had changed, and the worst symptoms developed so quickly that Mr. Pratt started to think the end would come sooner than he expected. Janet became his constant companion now, and no one could doubt that she was fulfilling a sacred duty. She made Holly Mount her home, and with her mother and Mrs. Pettifer to assist her, she filled the difficult days and nights with every comforting gesture that care and love could offer. Many visitors came to the sickroom, drawn by deep affection; and almost everyone who visited left with vivid memories of the scene—of the pale, frail figure in the easy chair (he remained sitting up until the end), of the grey eyes still full of curious kindness as he extended his thin, almost transparent hand to offer a welcoming gesture; and of the sweet woman, too, whose dark, watchful eyes noticed every need and who met those needs with a swift hand.

There were others who would have had the heart and the skill to fill this place by Mr. Tryan’s side, and who would have accepted it as an honour; but they could not help feeling that God had given it to Janet by a train of events which were too impressive not to shame all jealousies into silence.

There were others who had both the heart and the skill to stand beside Mr. Tryan, and they would have seen it as an honor; however, they couldn’t shake the feeling that God had given this to Janet through a series of events that were too powerful to let any jealousy linger.

That sad history which most of us know too well, lasted more than three months. He was too feeble and suffering for the last few weeks to see any visitors, but he still sat up through the day. The strange hallucinations of the disease which had seemed to take a more decided hold on him just at the fatal crisis, and had made him think he was perhaps getting better at the very time when death had begun to hurry on with more rapid movement, had now given way, and left him calmly conscious of the reality. One afternoon, near the end of February, Janet was moving gently about the room, in the fire-lit dusk, arranging some things that would be wanted in the night. There was no one else in the room, and his eyes followed her as she moved with the firm grace natural to her, while the bright fire every now and then lit up her face, and gave an unusual glow to its dark beauty. Even to follow her in this way with his eyes was an exertion that gave a painful tension to his face; while she looked like an image of life and strength.

That sad history that most of us know all too well lasted over three months. He was too weak and suffering during the last few weeks to have any visitors, but he still sat up during the day. The strange hallucinations brought on by the disease, which had seemed to grip him even more firmly at the critical moment and made him think he was possibly getting better just as death began to approach more quickly, had now faded away, leaving him calmly aware of reality. One afternoon, near the end of February, Janet was quietly moving around the room in the warm glow of the fire, organizing some things that would be needed for the night. There was no one else in the room, and he followed her with his eyes as she moved with the natural grace she possessed, while the bright fire occasionally illuminated her face, giving an unusual radiance to her dark beauty. Even the effort of watching her was a strain that caused a painful tension in his face, while she appeared to embody life and strength.

‘Janet,’ he said presently, in his faint voice—he always called her Janet now. In a moment she was close to him, bending over him. He opened his hand as he looked up at her, and she placed hers within it.

‘Janet,’ he said after a moment, in his quiet voice—he always called her Janet now. Soon, she was close to him, leaning over him. He opened his hand as he looked up at her, and she placed hers inside it.

‘Janet,’ he said again, ‘you will have a long while to live after I am gone.’

‘Janet,’ he said again, ‘you will have a long time to live after I’m gone.’

A sudden pang of fear shot through her. She thought he felt himself dying, and she sank on her knees at his feet, holding his hand, while she looked up at him, almost breathless.

A sudden rush of fear swept over her. She thought he was dying, and she dropped to her knees at his feet, holding his hand, while she looked up at him, nearly breathless.

‘But you will not feel the need of me as you have done ... You have a sure trust in God ... I shall not look for you in vain at the last.’

‘But you won’t need me like you used to ... You have a strong faith in God ... I won’t be looking for you in vain at the end.’

‘No ... no ... I shall be there ... God will not forsake me.’

‘No ... no ... I will be there ... God won't abandon me.’

She could hardly utter the words, though she was not weeping. She was waiting with trembling eagerness for anything else he might have to say.

She could barely manage to speak, even though she wasn’t crying. She was waiting with nervous anticipation for anything else he might say.

‘Let us kiss each other before we part.’

‘Let’s kiss each other before we say goodbye.’

She lifted up her face to his, and the full life-breathing lips met the wasted dying ones in a sacred kiss of promise.

She raised her face to his, and their vibrant, life-giving lips met the faded, dying ones in a sacred kiss of promise.

Chapter 28

It soon came—the blessed day of deliverance, the sad day of bereavement; and in the second week of March they carried him to the grave. He was buried as he had desired: there was no hearse, no mourning-coach; his coffin was borne by twelve of his humbler hearers, who relieved each other by turns. But he was followed by a long procession of mourning friends, women as well as men.

It soon arrived—the blessed day of freedom, the sad day of loss; and in the second week of March, they took him to the grave. He was buried as he wished: there was no hearse, no mourning coach; his coffin was carried by twelve of his less affluent listeners, who swapped places as needed. But he was followed by a long line of grieving friends, both women and men.

Slowly, amid deep silence, the dark stream passed along Orchard Street, where eighteen months before the Evangelical curate had been saluted with hooting and hisses. Mr. Jerome and Mr. Landor were the eldest pall-bearers; and behind the coffin, led by Mr. Tryan’s cousin, walked Janet, in quiet submissive sorrow. She could not feel that he was quite gone from her; the unseen world lay so very near her—it held all that had ever stirred the depths of anguish and joy within her.

Slowly, in complete silence, the dark procession moved down Orchard Street, where eighteen months earlier the Evangelical curate had been met with boos and jeers. Mr. Jerome and Mr. Landor were the oldest pallbearers, and behind the coffin, guided by Mr. Tryan’s cousin, walked Janet, in quiet, subdued sadness. She couldn’t shake the feeling that he hadn’t fully left her; the unseen world felt so close to her—it contained everything that had ever touched the depths of her pain and joy.

It was a cloudy morning, and had been raining when they left Holly Mount; but as they walked, the sun broke out, and the clouds were rolling off in large masses when they entered the churchyard, and Mr. Walsh’s voice was heard saying, ‘I am the Resurrection and the Life’. The faces were not hard at this funeral; the burial-service was not a hollow form. Every heart there was filled with the memory of a man who, through a self-sacrificing life and in a painful death, had been sustained by the faith which fills that form with breath and substance.

It was a cloudy morning, and it had been raining when they left Holly Mount; but as they walked, the sun came out, and the clouds were drifting away in big chunks when they entered the churchyard, and Mr. Walsh’s voice could be heard saying, ‘I am the Resurrection and the Life’. The faces weren’t hard at this funeral; the burial service wasn’t just a routine. Every heart there was filled with the memory of a man who, through a self-sacrificing life and a painful death, was sustained by the faith that gives that form its breath and substance.

When Janet left the grave, she did not return to Holly Mount; she went to her home in Orchard Street, where her mother was waiting to receive her. She said quite calmly, ‘Let us walk round the garden, mother.’ And they walked round in silence, with their hands clasped together, looking at the golden crocuses bright in the spring sunshine. Janet felt a deep stillness within. She thirsted for no pleasure; she craved no worldly good. She saw the years to come stretch before her like an autumn afternoon, filled with resigned memory. Life to her could never more have any eagerness; it was a solemn service of gratitude and patient effort. She walked in the presence of unseen witnesses—of the Divine love that had rescued her, of the human love that waited for its eternal repose until it had seen her endure to the end.

When Janet left the grave, she didn’t go back to Holly Mount; she headed to her home on Orchard Street, where her mother was waiting for her. She said calmly, “Let’s walk around the garden, Mom.” And they walked in silence, hands clasped together, looking at the golden crocuses shining in the spring sunshine. Janet felt a deep inner peace. She didn’t desire any pleasure; she didn’t crave any worldly success. She saw the years ahead stretching out like a fall afternoon, filled with accepted memories. Life for her could never be eager again; it was a serious commitment to gratitude and patient effort. She walked in the presence of unseen witnesses—the Divine love that had saved her, and the human love that would wait for its eternal rest until it had seen her endure until the end.

Janet is living still. Her black hair is grey, and her step is no longer buoyant; but the sweetness of her smile remains, the love is not gone from her eyes; and strangers sometimes ask, Who is that noble-looking elderly woman, that walks about holding a little boy by the hand? The little boy is the son of Janet’s adopted daughter, and Janet in her old age has children about her knees, and loving young arms round her neck.

Janet is still alive. Her black hair has turned grey, and her step isn’t as lively as it used to be; but the warmth of her smile is still there, and the love in her eyes hasn’t faded. Strangers sometimes ask, “Who is that distinguished-looking elderly woman walking around holding a little boy by the hand?” The little boy is the son of Janet’s adopted daughter, and in her old age, Janet has children around her knees and affectionate young arms wrapped around her neck.

There is a simple gravestone in Milby Churchyard, telling that in this spot lie the remains of Edgar Tryan, for two years officiating curate at the Paddiford Chapel-of-Ease, in this parish. It is a meagre memorial, and tells you simply that the man who lies there took upon him, faithfully or unfaithfully, the office of guide and instructor to his fellow-men.

There’s a plain gravestone in Milby Churchyard that states this is where Edgar Tryan is buried. He served as the curate at the Paddiford Chapel-of-Ease in this parish for two years. It’s a modest tribute that simply indicates the man buried here took on the role of guide and teacher to his fellow humans, whether he did so faithfully or not.

But there is another memorial of Edgar Tryan, which bears a fuller record: it is Janet Dempster, rescued from self-despair, strengthened with divine hopes, and now looking back on years of purity and helpful labour. The man who has left such a memorial behind him, must have been one whose heart beat with true compassion, and whose lips were moved by fervent faith.

But there's another memorial of Edgar Tryan that tells a more complete story: it's Janet Dempster, saved from her own despair, filled with divine hope, and now reflecting on years of purity and helpful work. The man who left such a memorial must have been someone whose heart was filled with genuine compassion and whose words were inspired by strong faith.

THE END

THE END


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