This is a modern-English version of A Mummer's Tale, originally written by France, Anatole.
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and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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THE WORKS OF ANATOLE FRANCE
IN AN ENGLISH TRANSLATION
EDITED BY J. LEWIS MAY AND
BERNARD MIALL
A MUMMER'S TALE
(HISTOIRE COMIQUE)

A MUMMER'S TALE
BY ANATOLE FRANCE
A TRANSLATION BY
CHARLES E. ROCHE

LONDON, JOHN LANE, THE BODLEY HEAD
NEW YORK: JOHN LANE COMPANY: MCMXXI
WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, LONDON AND BECCLES, ENGLAND
WILLIAM CLOWES AND SONS, LIMITED, LONDON AND BECCLES, ENGLAND
CONTENTS
CHAPTER | PAGE |
I. | 1 |
II. | 21 |
III. | 26 |
IV. | 41 |
V. | 63 |
VI. | 71 |
VII. | 82 |
VIII. | 97 |
IX. | 108 |
X. | 137 |
XI. | 166 |
XII. | 176 |
XIII. | 181 |
XIV. | 186 |
XV. | 194 |
XVI. | 197 |
XVII. | 205 |
XVIIII. | 212 |
XIX. | 220 |
XX. | 230 |
A MUMMER'S TALE
A MUMMER'S TALE
CHAPTER I
he scene was an actress's dressing-room at the Odéon.
The scene was an actress's dressing room at the Odéon.
Félicie Nanteuil, her hair powdered, with blue on her eyelids, rouge on her cheeks and ears, and white on her neck and shoulders, was holding out her foot to Madame Michon, the dresser, who was fitting on a pair of little black slippers with red heels. Dr. Trublet, the physician attached to the theatre, and a friend of the actress's, was resting his bald cranium on a cushion of the divan, his hands folded upon his stomach and his short legs crossed.
Félicie Nanteuil, with her hair styled and makeup done—blue eyeshadow on her eyelids, blush on her cheeks and ears, and powder on her neck and shoulders—was extending her foot to Madame Michon, the dresser, who was putting on a pair of small black slippers with red heels. Dr. Trublet, the doctor connected to the theater and a friend of the actress, was resting his bald head on a cushion of the couch, his hands folded over his stomach with his short legs crossed.
"What else, my dear?" he inquired of her.
"What else, my dear?" he asked her.
"Oh, I don't know! Fits of suffocation; giddiness; and, all of a sudden, an agonizing pain, as if I were going to die. That's the worst of all."
"Oh, I don’t know! I can’t breathe; I feel dizzy; and then, all of a sudden, I have this intense pain, like I’m going to die. That’s the worst part."
"Do you sometimes feel as though you must laugh or cry for no apparent reason, about nothing at all?"
"Do you ever feel like laughing or crying for no clear reason, over nothing at all?"
"That I cannot tell you, for in this life one has so many reasons for laughing or crying!"
"That's something I can't explain, because in this life we have so many reasons to laugh or cry!"
"Are you subject to attacks of dizziness?"
"Do you experience episodes of dizziness?"
"No. But, just think, doctor, at night, I see an imaginary cat, under the chairs or the table, gazing at me with fiery eyes!"
"No. But just think about it, doctor; at night, I see a phantom cat under the chairs or the table, staring at me with glowing eyes!"
"Try not to dream of cats any more," said Madame Michon, "because that's a bad omen. To see a cat is a sign that you'll be betrayed by friends, or deceived by a woman."
"Try not to dream about cats anymore," said Madame Michon, "because that's a bad sign. Seeing a cat means you'll be betrayed by friends or lied to by a woman."
"But it is not in my dreams that I see a cat! It's when I'm wide awake!"
"But I don't see a cat in my dreams! I see it when I'm totally awake!"
Trublet, who was in attendance at the Odéon once a month only, was given to looking in as a friend almost every evening. He was fond of the actresses, delighted in chatting with them, gave them good advice, and listened with delicacy to their confidences. He promised Félicie that he would write her a prescription at once.
Trublet, who only attended the Odéon once a month, was known to drop by as a friend almost every evening. He enjoyed the company of the actresses, loved chatting with them, offered them good advice, and listened thoughtfully to their secrets. He promised Félicie that he would write her a prescription right away.
"We'll attend to the stomach, my dear child, and you'll see no more cats under the chairs and tables."
"We'll take care of your stomach, my dear child, and you'll no longer see any cats hiding under the chairs and tables."
Madame Michon was adjusting the actress's stays. The doctor, suddenly gloomy, watched her tugging at the laces.
Madame Michon was adjusting the actress's corset. The doctor, suddenly serious, watched her pull at the laces.
"Don't scowl," said Félicie. "I am never tight-laced. With my waist I should surely be a fool if I were." And she added, thinking of her [Pg 3] best friend in the theatre, "It's all very well for Fagette, who has no shoulders and no hips; she's simply straight up and down. Michon, you can pull a little tighter still. I know you are no lover of waists, doctor. Nevertheless, I cannot wear swaddling bands like those æsthetic creatures. Just slip your hand into my stays, and you'll see that I don't squeeze myself too tight."
"Don’t frown," Félicie said. "I’m never tight-laced. It would be foolish for me to do that with my waist." And she added, thinking of her [Pg 3] best friend at the theater, "It’s easy for Fagette, who has no shoulders and no hips; she’s basically just a straight line. Michon, you can tighten it a bit more. I know you're not a fan of tight waists, doctor. Still, I can't wear those constricting bands like those artistic types. Just slip your hand into my corset, and you’ll see that I’m not squeezing myself too tightly."
He denied that he was inimical to stays; he only condemned them when too tightly laced. He deplored the fact that women should have no sense of the harmony of line; that they should associate with smallness of the waist an idea of grace and beauty, not realizing that their beauty resided wholly in those modulations through which the body, having displayed the superb expansion of chest and bosom, tapers off gradually below the thorax, to glorify itself in the calm and generous width of the flanks.
He claimed he wasn't against corsets; he just criticized them when they were laced too tightly. He lamented that women didn't have an appreciation for how lines can flow; that they connected a tiny waist with grace and beauty, not understanding that their true beauty came from the gradual curves of the body, which, after showing off the impressive width of the chest and bust, gently narrowed below the ribcage to highlight the smooth and ample width of the hips.
"The waist," he said, "the waist, since one has to make use of that hideous word, should be a gradual, imperceptible, gentle transition from one to another of woman's two glories, her bosom and her womb, and you stupidly strangle it, you stave in the thorax, which involves the breasts in its ruin, you flatten your lower ribs, and you plough a horrible furrow above the navel. The negresses, who file their teeth down to a point, and split their lips, in order to insert a wooden disc, disfigure themselves [Pg 4] in a less barbarous fashion. For, after all, some feminine splendour still remains to a creature who wears rings in the cartilage of her nose, and whose lip is distended by a circular disc of mahogany as big as this pomade pot. But the devastation is complete when woman carries her ravages into the sacred centre of her empire."
"The waist," he said, "the waist, since we have to use that ugly word, should be a smooth, subtle, gentle transition between a woman's two treasures, her breasts and her womb. But you ruin it by squeezing it too tight; you crush the chest, which damages the breasts, you flatten your lower ribs, and you carve a terrible line above the belly button. The women who file their teeth into points and cut their lips to fit a wooden disc disfigure themselves in a less brutal way. [Pg 4] Because, in the end, some feminine beauty still lingers in a person who wears rings in their nose cartilage and whose lip is stretched by a circular disc of wood as big as this pomade pot. But the damage is total when a woman brings her self-destruction into the holy center of her identity."
Dwelling upon a favourite subject, he enumerated one by one the deformities of the bones and muscles caused by the wearing of stays, in terms now fanciful, now precise, now droll, now lugubrious.
Focusing on a favorite topic, he listed, one by one, the deformities of the bones and muscles caused by wearing corsets, using language that was sometimes whimsical, sometimes exact, sometimes amusing, and sometimes serious.
Nanteuil laughed as she listened. She laughed because, being a woman, she felt an inclination to laugh at physical uncomeliness or poverty; because, referring everything to her own little world of actors and actresses, each and every deformity described by the doctor reminded her of some comrade of the boards, stamping itself on her mind like a caricature. Knowing that she herself had a good figure, she delighted in her own young body as she pictured to herself all these indignities of the flesh. With a ringing laugh she crossed the dressing-room towards the doctor, dragging with her Madame Michon, who was holding on to her stay-laces as though they were reins, with the look of a sorceress being whisked away to a witches' sabbath.
Nanteuil laughed as she listened. She laughed because, as a woman, she felt a tendency to laugh at physical awkwardness or poverty; because, comparing everything to her own little world of actors and actresses, every deformity described by the doctor made her think of some co-star, imprinting itself in her mind like a caricature. Knowing that she had a good figure, she took pleasure in her own young body as she imagined all these bodily indignities. With a bright laugh, she crossed the dressing room toward the doctor, pulling along Madame Michon, who was clutching her stay-laces like reins, looking like a sorceress being whisked off to a witches' gathering.
"Don't be afraid!" she said.
"Don't be scared!" she said.
And she objected that peasant women, [Pg 5] who never wore stays, had far worse figures than town-bred women.
And she argued that peasant women, [Pg 5] who never wore corsets, had much worse figures than women from the town.
The doctor bitterly inveighed against the Western civilizations because of their contempt for and ignorance of natural beauty.
The doctor strongly criticized Western civilizations for their disregard for and lack of understanding of natural beauty.
Trublet, born within the shadow of Saint-Sulpice, had gone as a young man to practise in Cairo. He brought back from that city a little money, a liver complaint, and a knowledge of the various customs of humanity. When at a ripe age, he returned to his own country, he rarely strayed from his ancient Rue de Seine, thoroughly enjoying his life, save that it depressed him a trifle to see how little able his contemporaries were to realize the deplorable misunderstandings which for eighteen centuries had kept humanity at cross-purposes with nature.
Trublet, who was born near Saint-Sulpice, went to practice in Cairo as a young man. He returned from that city with a bit of money, a liver condition, and an understanding of the different ways people behave. When he got older and came back to his home country, he hardly ever left his familiar Rue de Seine and enjoyed his life, although he felt a bit down seeing how poorly his peers understood the unfortunate misunderstandings that had caused humanity to clash with nature for eighteen centuries.
There was a tap at the door.
There was a knock at the door.
"It's only me!" exclaimed a woman's voice in the passage.
"It's just me!" shouted a woman's voice in the hallway.
Félicie, slipping on her pink petticoat, begged the doctor to open the door.
Félicie, putting on her pink petticoat, pleaded with the doctor to open the door.
Enter Madame Doulce, a lady who was allowing her massive person to run to seed, although she had long contrived to hold it together on the boards, compelling it to assume the dignity proper to aristocratic mothers.
Enter Madame Doulce, a woman who was letting her large body go, even though she had long managed to keep it in shape on stage, making it take on the dignity expected of aristocratic mothers.
"Well, my dear! How-d'ye-do, doctor! [Pg 6] Félicie, you know I am not one to pay compliments. Nevertheless, I saw you the day before yesterday, and I assure you that in the second of La Mère confidente you put in some excellent touches, which are far from easy to bring off."
"Well, my dear! How are you doing, doctor! [Pg 6] Félicie, you know I'm not one to give compliments. Still, I saw you the day before yesterday, and I have to say that in the second act of La Mère confidente, you added some excellent touches that aren't easy to pull off."
Nanteuil, with smiling eyes, waited—as is always the case when one has received a compliment—for another.
Nanteuil, with a cheerful smile, waited—as always happens when someone gets a compliment—for another one.
Madame Doulce, thus invited by Nanteuil's silence, murmured some additional words of praise:
Madame Doulce, encouraged by Nanteuil's silence, whispered a few more words of praise:
"...excellent touches, genuinely individual business!"
"...great details, truly unique business!"
"You really think so, Madame Doulce? Glad to hear it, for I don't feel the part. And then that great Perrin woman upsets me altogether. It is a fact. When I sit on the creature's knees, it makes me feel as if——You don't know all the horrors that she whispers into my ear while we are on the stage! She's crazy! I understand everything, but there are some things which disgust me. Michon, don't my stays crease at the back, on the right?"
"You really think so, Madame Doulce? I’m happy to hear that because I don’t feel it at all. And then that big Perrin woman completely throws me off. It’s true. When I sit on her lap, it feels like—You wouldn’t believe the awful things she whispers in my ear while we’re on stage! She’s out of her mind! I get everything, but some things just make me sick. Michon, do my corset lines show at the back, on the right?"
"My dear child," cried Trublet with enthusiasm, "you have just said something that is really admirable."
"My dear child," Trublet exclaimed with excitement, "you just said something truly admirable."
"What?" inquired Nanteuil simply.
"What?" Nanteuil asked simply.
"You said: 'I understand everything, but there are some things which disgust me.' You understand everything; the thoughts and actions of men [Pg 7] appear to you as particular instances of the universal mechanics, but in respect of them you cherish neither hatred nor anger. But there are things which disgust you; you have a fastidious taste, and it is profoundly true that morals are a matter of taste. My child, I could wish that the Academy of Moral Science thought as sanely as you. Yes. You are quite right. As regards the instincts which you attribute to your fellow-actress, it is as futile to blame her for them as to blame lactic acid for being an acid possessing mixed properties."
"You said: 'I get everything, but there are some things that gross me out.' You get everything; the thoughts and actions of people [Pg 7] seem to you like specific examples of universal principles, but regarding them, you feel neither hatred nor anger. However, there are things that disgust you; you have refined tastes, and it's true that morals are subjective. My child, I wish the Academy of Moral Science thought as clearly as you do. Yes. You’re absolutely right. When it comes to the instincts you attribute to your fellow actress, it's as pointless to blame her for them as it is to blame lactic acid for being an acid with mixed properties."
"What are you talking about?"
"What are you saying?"
"I am saying that we can no longer assign praise or blame to any human thought or action, once the inevitable nature of such thoughts and actions has been proved for us."
"I’m saying that we can no longer give praise or blame to any human thought or action, once the inevitable nature of those thoughts and actions has been shown to us."
"So you approve of the morals of that gawk of a Perrin, do you? You, a member of the Legion of Honour! A nice thing, to be sure!"
"So you approve of the ethics of that awkward Perrin, do you? You, a member of the Legion of Honor! Quite something, indeed!"
The doctor heaved himself up.
The doctor got up.
"My child," he said, "give me a moment's attention; I am going to tell you an instructive story:
"My child," he said, "give me a moment of your attention; I'm going to share a valuable story:
"In times gone by, human nature was other than it is to-day. There were then not men and women only, but also hermaphrodites; in other words, beings in whom the two sexes were combined. These three kinds of human beings possessed four arms, four legs, and two faces. They [Pg 8] were robust and rotated rapidly on their own axes, just like wheels. Their strength inspired them with audacity to war with the gods, therein following the example of the Giants, Jupiter, unable to brook such insolence——"
"In the past, human nature was different from what it is today. There were not just men and women, but also hermaphrodites; in other words, beings that combined both sexes. These three types of humans had four arms, four legs, and two faces. They [Pg 8] were strong and could spin rapidly on their own axes, like wheels. Their power gave them the courage to challenge the gods, following the example of the Giants, and Jupiter, unable to tolerate such arrogance—"
"Michon, doesn't my petticoat hang too low on the left?" asked Nanteuil.
"Michon, doesn’t my petticoat hang too low on the left?" asked Nanteuil.
"Resolved," continued the doctor, "to render them less strong and less daring. He divided each into two, so that they had now but two arms, two legs, and one head apiece, and thenceforward the human race became what it is to-day. Consequently, each of us is only the half of a human being, divided from the other half, just as one divides a sole into two portions. These halves are ever seeking their other halves. The love which we experience for one another is nothing but an invisible force impelling us to reunite our two halves in order to re-establish ourselves in our pristine perfection. Those men who result from the divisions of hermaphrodites love women; those women who have a similar origin love men. But the women who proceed from the division of primitive women do not bestow much attention upon men, but are drawn toward their own sex. So do not be astonished when you see——"
"Resolved," continued the doctor, "to make them less strong and less fearless. He split each one in two, so now they each had two arms, two legs, and one head, and from then on, the human race became what it is today. As a result, each of us is just half of a person, separated from the other half, just like splitting a sole into two pieces. These halves are always searching for their other halves. The love we feel for one another is just an invisible force driving us to reunite our halves and restore our original perfection. The men created from the division of hermaphrodites love women; the women from that same division love men. However, the women who come from the separation of primitive women don't pay much attention to men, but are attracted to their own gender. So don't be surprised when you see——"
"Did you invent that precious story, doctor?" inquired Nanteuil, pinning a rose in her bodice.
"Did you make up that beautiful story, doctor?" Nanteuil asked, pinning a rose in her bodice.
The doctor protested that he had not invented a word of it. On the contrary, he had, he said, left out part of the story.
The doctor insisted that he hadn’t made up any of it. On the contrary, he claimed he had left out part of the story.
"So much the better?" exclaimed Nanteuil. "For I must tell you that the person who did invent it is not particularly brilliant."
"So much the better?" Nanteuil exclaimed. "Because I have to tell you that the person who came up with it isn’t exactly brilliant."
"He is dead," remarked Trublet.
"He's dead," remarked Trublet.
Nanteuil once more expressed her disgust of her fellow-actress, but Madame Doulce, who was prudent and occasionally took déjeuner with Jeanne Perrin, changed the subject.
Nanteuil once again shared her disdain for her fellow actress, but Madame Doulce, who was cautious and sometimes had brunch with Jeanne Perrin, steered the conversation in a different direction.
"Well, my darling, so you've got the part of Angélique. Only remember what I told you: your gestures should be somewhat restrained, and you yourself a little stiff. That is the secret of the ingénue. Beware of your charming natural suppleness. Young girls in a 'stock' piece ought to be just a trifle doll-like. It's good form. The costume requires it. You see, Félicie, what you must do above all, when you are playing in La Mère confidente, which is a delightful play——"
"Well, my dear, so you've landed the role of Angélique. Just remember what I told you: your movements should be a bit reserved, and you should seem somewhat stiff. That's the trick to being an ingénue. Watch out for your lovely natural flexibility. Young girls in a 'stock' piece should appear just a little doll-like. It’s considered good form. The costume calls for it. You see, Félicie, what you really need to focus on when you’re performing in La Mère confidente, which is a delightful play——"
"Oh," interrupted Félicie, "so long as I have a good part, I don't care a fig for the play. Besides, I am not particularly in love with Marivaux——What are you laughing at, doctor? Have I put my foot in it? Isn't La Mère confidente by Marivaux?"
"Oh," interrupted Félicie, "as long as I have a good role, I don’t care at all about the play. Besides, I'm not really in love with Marivaux—What are you laughing at, doctor? Did I say something wrong? Isn’t La Mère confidente by Marivaux?"
"To be sure it is!"
"Of course it is!"
"Well, then? You are always trying to muddle me. I was saying that Angélique gets on my nerves. I should prefer a part with more meat in it, something out of the ordinary. This evenings especially, the part gives me the creeps."
"Well, then? You're always trying to confuse me. I was saying that Angélique really irritates me. I'd prefer a role with more substance, something unusual. This evening, especially, the role gives me the chills."
"All the more likely that you'll do well in it, my pet," said Madame Doulce. "We never enter more thoroughly into our parts than when we do so by main force, and in spite of ourselves. I could give you many examples. I myself, in La Vivandière d'Austerlitz, staggered the house by my gaiety of tone, when I had just been informed that my Doulce, so great an artist and so good a husband, had had an epileptic fit in the orchestra at the Odéon, just as he was picking up his cornet."
"You're even more likely to succeed, my dear," said Madame Doulce. "We really get into our roles the best when we have to push ourselves, against our own wishes. I have plenty of examples. I, myself, in La Vivandière d'Austerlitz, shocked the audience with my cheerful tone, right after I found out that my Doulce, such a talented artist and a wonderful husband, had an epileptic seizure in the orchestra at the Odéon, just as he was about to pick up his cornet."
"Why do they insist on my being nothing but an ingénue?" inquired Nanteuil, who wanted to play the woman in love, the brilliant coquette, and every part a woman could play.
"Why do they keep insisting that I’m just an ingénue?" Nanteuil asked, wanting to be the lovesick woman, the dazzling flirt, and every role a woman could take on.
"That is quite natural," persisted Madame Doulce. "Comedy is an imitative art; and you imitate an art all the better for not feeling it yourself."
"That's totally understandable," kept insisting Madame Doulce. "Comedy is an imitative art, and you mimic an art much better when you don't feel it yourself."
"Do not delude yourself, my child," said the doctor to Félicie. "Once an ingénue, always an ingénue. You are born an Angélique or a Dorine, a Célimène or a Madame Pernelle. On the stage, some women are always twenty, others are always [Pg 11] thirty, others again are always sixty. As for you, Mademoiselle Nanteuil, you will always be eighteen, and you will always be an ingénue."
"Don't kid yourself, my child," the doctor said to Félicie. "Once an ingénue, always an ingénue. You're either born an Angélique or a Dorine, a Célimène or a Madame Pernelle. On stage, some women are always twenty, others are always thirty, and some are always sixty. As for you, Mademoiselle Nanteuil, you will always be eighteen, and you'll always be an ingénue."
"I am quite content with my work," replied Nanteuil, "but you cannot expect me to play all ingénues with the same pleasure. There is one part, for example, which I long to play, and that is Agnès in L'École des femmes."
"I'm pretty happy with my work," Nanteuil replied, "but you can't expect me to enjoy playing all the ingénues equally. There's one role, for instance, that I really want to play, and that's Agnès in L'École des femmes."
At the mere mention of the name of Agnès, the doctor murmured delightedly from among his cushions:
At the simple mention of Agnès's name, the doctor happily murmured from his cushions:
"Mes yeux ont-ils du mal pour en donner au monde?"
"Do my eyes struggle to give to the world?"
"Agnès, that's a part if you like!" exclaimed Nanteuil. "I have asked Pradel to give it me."
"Agnès, that's yours if you want it!" exclaimed Nanteuil. "I asked Pradel to get it for me."
Pradel, the manager of the theatre, was an ex-comedian, a wideawake, genial fellow, who had got rid of his illusions and nourished no exaggerated hopes. He loved peace, books and women. Nanteuil had every reason to speak well of Pradel, and she referred to him without any feeling of ill will, and with frank directness.
Pradel, the manager of the theater, was a former comedian, a sharp and friendly guy who had shed his illusions and held no unrealistic hopes. He loved peace, books, and women. Nanteuil had every reason to speak well of Pradel, and she mentioned him with no bitterness, speaking openly and honestly.
"It was shameful, disgusting, rotten of him," she said. "He wouldn't let me play Agnès and gave the part to Falempin. I must say, though, that when I asked him I didn't go the right way about it. While she knows how to tackle him, if you like! But what do I care! If Pradel doesn't let [Pg 12] me play Agnès, he can go to the deuce, and his dirty Punch and Judy show too!"
"It was shameful, disgusting, and rotten of him," she said. "He wouldn't let me play Agnès and gave the role to Falempin. I have to admit, though, when I asked him, I didn't approach it the right way. She knows how to handle him, that's for sure! But honestly, who cares! If Pradel doesn't let me play Agnès, he can go to hell, along with his stupid Punch and Judy show!"
Madame Doulce continued to lavish her unheeded precepts. She was an actress of merits but she was old and worn out, and no longer obtained any engagements. She gave advice to beginners, wrote their letters for them, and thus, in the morning or evenings earned what was almost every day her only meal.
Madame Doulce kept showering her unappreciated advice. She was a talented actress, but she was old and tired, and no longer landed any roles. She offered guidance to newcomers, wrote their letters for them, and so, in the mornings or evenings, earned what was often her only meal for the day.
"Doctor," asked Félicie, while Madame Michon was fastening a black velvet ribbon round her neck: "You say that my fits of dizziness are due to my stomach. Are you sure of that?"
"Doctor," Félicie asked while Madame Michon was tying a black velvet ribbon around her neck, "You say my dizzy spells are caused by my stomach. Are you sure about that?"
Before Trublet could answer, Madame Doulce exclaimed that fits of dizziness always proceeded from the stomach, and that two or three hours after meals she experienced a feeling of distension in hers, and she thereupon asked the doctor for a remedy.
Before Trublet could respond, Madame Doulce exclaimed that dizziness always came from the stomach, and that two or three hours after eating, she felt bloated, so she asked the doctor for a solution.
Félicie, however, was thinking, for she was capable of thought.
Félicie, however, was deep in thought, as she was capable of thinking.
"Doctor," she said suddenly, "I want to ask you a question, which you may possibly think a droll one; but I do really want to know whether, considering that you know just what there is in the human body, and that you have seen all the things we have inside us, it doesn't embarrass you, at certain moments, in your dealings with women? [Pg 13] It seems to me that the idea of all that must disgust you."
"Doctor," she said out of the blue, "I want to ask you something that you might find amusing; but I genuinely want to know if, given your knowledge of the human body and the things you've seen inside us, it ever makes you uncomfortable in your interactions with women? [Pg 13] It seems to me that the thought of all that must be off-putting to you."
From the depths of his cushions Trublet, wafting a kiss to Félicie, replied:
From the depths of his cushions, Trublet blew a kiss to Félicie and replied:
"My dear child, there is no more exquisitely delicate, rich, and beautiful tissue than the skin of a pretty woman. That is what I was telling myself just now, while contemplating the back of your neck, and you will readily understand that, under such an impression——"
"My dear child, there's no more beautifully delicate, rich, and gorgeous fabric than the skin of a pretty woman. That's what I was just thinking while looking at the back of your neck, and you can easily understand that, with such a thought——"
She made a grimace at him like that of a disdainful monkey.
She made a face at him that was similar to a contemptuous monkey.
"You think it witty, I suppose, to talk nonsense when anyone asks you a serious question?"
"You think it's clever, I guess, to talk nonsense when someone asks you a serious question?"
"Well, then, since you wish it, mademoiselle, you shall have an instructive answer. Some twenty years ago we had, in the post-mortem room at the Hôpital Saint-Joseph, a drunken old watchman, named Daddy Rousseau, who every day at eleven o'clock used to lunch at the end of the table on which the corpse was lying. He ate his lunch because he was hungry. Nothing prevents people who are hungry from eating as soon as they have got something to eat. Only Daddy Rousseau used to say: 'I don't know whether it is because of the atmosphere of the room, but I must have something fresh and appetizing.'"
"Well, since that's what you want, miss, you’ll get a thoughtful answer. About twenty years ago, in the autopsy room at Hôpital Saint-Joseph, there was a drunk old night watchman named Daddy Rousseau. Every day at eleven, he would have lunch at the end of the table where the body lay. He ate his lunch because he was hungry. Nothing stops hungry people from eating as soon as they have food. Daddy Rousseau would say, 'I don’t know if it’s because of the atmosphere in here, but I need something fresh and tasty.'"
"I understand," said Félicie. "Little flower-girls are what you want. But you mustn't, you know. And there you are seated like a Turk and you haven't written out my prescription yet." She cast an inquiring glance at him. "Where is the stomach exactly?"
"I get it," said Félicie. "You want little flower girls. But you really shouldn't, you know. And there you are sitting like a Turk, and you haven't written out my prescription yet." She looked at him curiously. "Where exactly is the stomach?"
The door had remained ajar. A young man, a very pretty fellow and extremely fashionable, pushed it open, and, having taken a couple of steps into the dressing-room, inquired politely whether he might come in.
The door had stayed slightly open. A young man, very attractive and quite stylish, pushed it open and, after taking a few steps into the dressing room, asked politely if he could come in.
"Oh, it's you!" said Nanteuil. And she stretched out her hand, which he kissed with pleasure, ceremony and fatuity.
"Oh, it's you!" said Nanteuil. She reached out her hand, which he kissed with delight, formality, and foolishness.
"How are you, Doctor Socrates?" he inquired, without wasting any particular courtesies on Madame Doulce.
"How are you, Doctor Socrates?" he asked, not bothering with any particular pleasantries for Madame Doulce.
Trublet was often accosted in this manner, because of his snub-nose and his subtle speech. Pointing to Nanteuil, he said:
Trublet was often approached like this because of his upturned nose and his refined way of speaking. Pointing to Nanteuil, he said:
"Monsieur de Ligny, you see before you a young lady who is not quite sure whether she has a stomach. It is a serious question. We advise her to refer, for the answer, to the little girl who ate too much jam. Her mother said to her: 'You will injure your stomach.' The child replied: 'It's only ladies who have stomachs; little girls haven't any.'"
"Monsieur de Ligny, you see before you a young lady who isn't quite sure if she has a stomach. It's an important question. We suggest she ask the little girl who ate too much jam. Her mother told her, 'You're going to hurt your stomach.' The child responded, 'Only ladies have stomachs; little girls don’t have any.'"
"Heavens, how silly you are, doctor!" cried Nanteuil.
"Heavens, how silly you are, doctor!" Nanteuil exclaimed.
"I would you spoke the truth, mademoiselle. Silliness is the capacity for happiness. It is the sovereign content. It is the prime asset in a civilized society."
"I wish you would speak the truth, mademoiselle. Silly behavior is the ability to be happy. It is the true contentment. It is the main asset in a civilized society."
"You are paradoxical, my dear doctor," remarked Monsieur de Ligny. "But I grant you that it is better to be silly as everybody is silly than to be clever as no one else is clever."
"You’re a bit of a contradiction, my dear doctor," said Monsieur de Ligny. "But I’ll give you this: it’s better to be foolish like everyone else than to be smart like no one else."
"It's true, what Robert says!" exclaimed Nanteuil, sincerely impressed. And she added thoughtfully: "At any rate, doctor, one thing is certain. It is that stupidity often prevents one from doing stupid things. I have noticed that many a time. Whether you take men or women, those are not the most stupid who act the most stupidly. For example, there are intelligent women who are stupid about men."
"It's true, what Robert says!" Nanteuil exclaimed, genuinely impressed. And she added thoughtfully, "Anyway, doctor, one thing is for sure. Stupidity often stops people from doing stupid things. I've noticed that many times. Whether we're talking about men or women, the ones who act the most foolishly aren't necessarily the dumbest. For instance, there are smart women who are clueless when it comes to men."
"You mean those who cannot do without them."
"You mean those who can't live without them."
"There's no hiding anything from you, my little Socrates."
"There's no hiding anything from you, my little Socrates."
"Ah," sighed the big Doulce, "what a terrible slavery it is! Every woman who cannot control her senses is lost to art."
"Ah," sighed the big Doulce, "what a terrible bondage this is! Every woman who can't control her impulses is lost to creativity."
Nanteuil shrugged her pretty shoulders, which still retained something of the angularity of youth.
Nanteuil shrugged her lovely shoulders, which still had a hint of youthful sharpness.
"Oh, my great-grandmother! Don't try to [Pg 16] kid the youngsters! What an idea! In your days, did actresses control their—how did you put it? Fiddlesticks! They didn't control them a scrap!"
"Oh, my great-grandma! Don't try to [Pg 16] fool the kids! What a thought! Back in your day, did actresses really have control over their—what was it you called it? Nonsense! They didn't control it at all!"
Noticing that Nanteuil's temper was rising, the bulky Doulce retired with dignity and prudence. Once in the passage, she vouchsafed a further word of advice:
Noticing that Nanteuil's mood was getting heated, the hefty Doulce stepped back gracefully and wisely. Once in the hallway, she offered one more piece of advice:
"Remember, my darling, to play Angélique as a 'bud.' The part requires it."
"Remember, my darling, to play Angélique as a 'bud.' The role demands it."
But Nanteuil, her nerves on edge, took no notice.
But Nanteuil, her nerves frayed, ignored it.
"Really," she said, sitting down before her dressing-table, "she makes me boil, that old Doulce, with her morality. Does she think people have forgotten her adventures? If so, she is mistaken. Madame Ravaud tells one of them six days out of seven. Everybody knows that she reduced her husband, the musician, to such a state of exhaustion that one night he tumbled into his cornet. As for her lovers, magnificent men, just ask Madame Michon. Why, in less than two years she made mere shadows of them, mere puffs of breath. That's the way she controlled them! And supposing anyone had told her that she was lost to art!"
"Honestly," she said, sitting down at her vanity, "that old Doulce really gets on my nerves with her morality. Does she think people have forgotten her past? If she does, she's wrong. Madame Ravaud shares one of her stories six days a week. Everyone knows she pushed her husband, the musician, to the point of exhaustion that one night he fell into his cornet. And as for her lovers, handsome men, just ask Madame Michon. In less than two years, she turned them into mere shadows, just puffs of breath. That's how she controlled them! And what if someone had told her she was lost to art!"
Dr. Trublet extended his two hands, palms outward, towards Nanteuil, as though to stop her.
Dr. Trublet held out both his hands, palms facing Nanteuil, as if to stop her.
"Do not excite yourself, my child. Madame [Pg 17] Doulce is sincere. She used to love men, now she loves God. One loves what one can, as one can, and with what one has. She has become chaste and pious at the fitting age. She is diligent in the practices of her religion: she goes to Mass on Sundays and feast days, she——"
"Don't get worked up, my child. Madame [Pg 17] Doulce is genuine. She used to love men, but now she loves God. People love what they're able to, in the ways they can, and with what they have. She has become pure and devout at the right age. She is committed to her religious practices: she attends Mass on Sundays and feast days, she——"
"Well, she is right to go to Mass," asserted Nanteuil "Michon, light a candle for me, to heat my rouge. I must do my lips again. Certainly, she is quite right to go to Mass, but religion does not forbid one to have a lover."
"Well, she’s totally right to go to Mass," Nanteuil said. "Michon, light a candle for me to warm up my makeup. I need to reapply my lipstick. For sure, she’s absolutely right to go to Mass, but religion doesn’t stop anyone from having a lover."
"You think not?" asked the doctor.
"You don't think so?" the doctor asked.
"I know my religion better than you, that's certain!"
"I definitely know my religion better than you!"
A lugubrious bell sounded, and the mournful voice of the call-boy was heard in the corridors:
A sad bell rang out, and the sorrowful voice of the messenger echoed in the hallways:
"The curtain-raiser is over!"
"The opening act is over!"
Nanteuil rose, and slipped over her wrist a velvet ribbon ornamented with a steel medallion. Madame Michon was on her knees arranging the three Watteau pleats of the pink dress, and, with her mouth full of pins, delivered herself from one corner of her lips of the following maxim:
Nanteuil got up and wrapped a velvet ribbon with a steel medallion around her wrist. Madame Michon was on her knees fixing the three Watteau pleats of the pink dress, and with her mouth full of pins, she managed to say from one corner of her lips the following saying:
"There is one good thing in being old, men cannot make you suffer any more."
"There’s one good thing about getting older: men can’t make you suffer anymore."
Robert de Ligny took a cigarette from his case.
Robert de Ligny took a cigarette from his pack.
"May I?" And he moved toward the lighted candle on the dressing-table.
"Can I?" He stepped closer to the lit candle on the dresser.
Nanteuil, who never took her eyes off him, saw beneath his moustache, red and light as flame, his lips, ruddy in the candlelight, drawing in and puffing out the smoke. She felt a slight warmth in her ears. Pretending to look among her trinkets, she grazed Ligny's neck with her lips, and whispered to him:
Nanteuil, who couldn't take her eyes off him, saw beneath his bright, fiery red mustache his lips, glowing in the candlelight, inhaling and exhaling the smoke. She felt a slight warmth in her ears. Pretending to sort through her jewelry, she brushed her lips against Ligny's neck and whispered to him:
"Wait for me after the show, in a cab, at the corner of the Rue de Tournon."
"Wait for me after the show, in a cab, at the corner of Rue de Tournon."
At this moment the sound of voices and footsteps was heard in the corridor. The actors in the curtain-raiser were returning to their dressing-rooms.
At that moment, voices and footsteps echoed in the corridor. The performers from the opening act were heading back to their dressing rooms.
"Doctor, pass me your newspaper."
"Doc, hand me your newspaper."
"It is highly uninteresting, mademoiselle."
"It's really boring, mademoiselle."
"Never mind, pass it over."
"Don't worry, just pass it."
She took it and held it like a screen above her head.
She grabbed it and held it like a shield over her head.
"The light makes my eyes ache," she observed.
"The light is giving me a headache," she said.
It was true that a too brilliant light would sometimes give her a headache. But she had just seen herself in the glass. With her blue-tinted eyelids, her eyelashes smeared with a black paste, her grease-painted cheeks, her lips tinted red in the shape of a tiny heart, it seemed to her she looked like a painted corpse with glass eyes, and she did not wish Ligny to see her thus.
It was true that a bright light would sometimes give her a headache. But she had just seen her reflection in the mirror. With her blue-tinted eyelids, her eyelashes coated in black mascara, her makeup-covered cheeks, and her lips painted red in the shape of a tiny heart, she felt like a painted corpse with glassy eyes, and she didn't want Ligny to see her like that.
While she was keeping her face in the shadow of the newspaper a tall, lean young man entered the [Pg 19] dressing-room with a swaggering gait. His melancholy eyes were deeply sunken above a nose like a crow's beak; his mouth was set in a petrified grin. The Adam's apple of his long throat made a deep shadow on his stock. He was dressed as a stage bailiff.
While she hid her face in the shadow of the newspaper, a tall, lean young man swaggered into the [Pg 19] dressing room. His sad eyes were deeply sunken above a nose that resembled a crow's beak; his mouth was fixed in a stiff grin. The Adam's apple of his long neck cast a deep shadow on his collar. He was dressed as a stage bailiff.
"That you, Chevalier? How are you, my friend?" gaily inquired Dr. Trublet, who was fond of actors, preferred the bad ones, and had a special liking for Chevalier.
"Is that you, Chevalier? How's it going, my friend?" cheerfully asked Dr. Trublet, who had a fondness for actors, favored the not-so-good ones, and especially liked Chevalier.
"Come in, everybody!" cried Nanteuil "This isn't a dressing-room; it's a mill."
"Come in, everyone!" shouted Nanteuil. "This isn't a dressing room; it's a factory."
"My respects, none the less, Mme. Miller!" replied Chevalier, "I warn you, there's a pack of idiots out in front. Would you believe it—they shut me up!"
"My respects, nonetheless, Mrs. Miller!" replied Chevalier, "I warn you, there’s a bunch of idiots out front. Can you believe it—they shut me up!"
"That's no reason for walking in without knocking," replied Nanteuil snappishly.
"That's no excuse for barging in without knocking," Nanteuil snapped.
The doctor pointed out that Monsieur de Ligny had left the door open; whereupon Nanteuil, turning to Ligny, said in a tone of tender reproach:
The doctor noted that Monsieur de Ligny had left the door open; then Nanteuil, turning to Ligny, said in a tone of gentle reproach:
"Did you really leave the door open? But, when one comes into a room, one closes the door on other people: it is one of the first things one is taught."
"Did you really leave the door open? But when you walk into a room, you close the door behind you: that’s one of the first things you learn."
She wrapped herself in a white blanket-cloak.
She wrapped herself in a white blanket.
The call-boy summoned the players to the stage.
The callboy summoned the players to the stage.
She grasped the hand which Ligny offered her, and, exploring his wrist with her fingers, dug her nail into the spot, close to the veins, where the skin is tender. Then she disappeared into the dark corridor.
She took the hand that Ligny offered her and, running her fingers over his wrist, pressed her nail into the spot near the veins where the skin is soft. Then she vanished into the dark hallway.
CHAPTER II
hevalier, having resumed his ordinary clothes, sat in a corner box,
beside Madame Doulce, gazing at Félicie, a small remote figure on the
stage. And remembering the days when he had held her in his arms, in his
attic in the Rue des Martyrs, he wept with grief and rage.
The knight, having put on his regular clothes again, sat in a corner box next to Madame Doulce, watching Félicie, a small figure on stage. Remembering the days when he had held her in his arms in his attic on Rue des Martyrs, he wept with grief and anger.
They had met last year at a fête given under the patronage of Lecureuil, the deputy; a benefit performance given in aid of poor actors of the ninth arrondissement. He had prowled around her, dumb, famishing, and with blazing eyes. For a whole fortnight he had pursued her incessantly. Cold and unmoved, she had appeared to ignore him. Then, suddenly, she surrendered; so suddenly that when he left her that day, still radiant and amazed, he had said a stupid thing. He had told her: "And I took you for a little bit of china!" For three whole months he had tasted joys acute as pain. Then Félicie had grown elusive, remote, and estranged. She loved him no longer. He sought the reason, but could not discover it. It tortured him [Pg 22] to know that he was no longer loved; jealousy tortured him still more. It was true that in the first beautiful hours of his love he had known that Félicie had a lover, one Girmandel, a court bailiff, who lived in the Rue de Provence, and he had felt it deeply. But as he never saw him he had formed so confused and ill-defined an idea of him that his jealousy lost itself in uncertainty. Félicie assured him that she had never been more than passive in her intercourse with Girmandel, that she had not even pretended to care for him. He believed her, and this belief gave him the keenest satisfaction. She also told him that for a long time past, for months, Girmandel had been nothing more than a friend, and he believed her. In short, he was deceiving the bailiff, and it was agreeable to him to feel that he enjoyed this advantage. He had learned also that Félicie, who was just finishing her second year at the Conservatoire, had not denied herself to her professor. But the grief which he had felt because of this was softened by a time-honoured and venerable custom. Now Robert de Ligny was causing him intolerable suffering. For some time past he had found him incessantly dangling about her. He could not doubt that she loved Robert; and although he sometimes told himself that she had not yet given herself to this man, it was not that he believed it, but merely that [Pg 23] he was fain sometimes to mitigate the bitterness of his sufferings.
They had met last year at a party hosted by Lecureuil, the deputy; a benefit performance to support struggling actors in the ninth arrondissement. He had hovered around her, speechless, starving for connection, with eyes that burned. For two solid weeks, he had pursued her relentlessly. Cold and indifferent, she seemed to ignore him. Then, out of nowhere, she gave in; so suddenly that when he left her that day, still glowing and stunned, he blurted out something foolish. He told her, "And I thought you were just a little piece of china!" For three whole months, he experienced pleasures as intense as pain. Then Félicie became distant, remote, and estranged. She no longer loved him. He searched for the reason but couldn’t find it. It tormented him. [Pg 22] Knowing he was no longer loved tortured him, and jealousy tormented him even more. It was true that in the blissful early days of his love, he had known that Félicie had a lover, a guy named Girmandel, a court bailiff who lived on Rue de Provence, and it had hit him hard. But since he never saw Girmandel, he had formed such a vague and unclear idea of him that his jealousy dissolved into uncertainty. Félicie assured him that she had never been more than passive in her relationship with Girmandel, that she hadn't even pretended to care for him. He believed her, and this belief brought him great satisfaction. She also told him that for some time now, for months, Girmandel had been nothing more than a friend, and he took her word for it. In short, he was deceiving the bailiff, and it was pleasing to him to feel he had that upper hand. He had also learned that Félicie, who was just finishing her second year at the Conservatoire, hadn’t denied herself to her professor. But the pain he felt over this was softened by an old, familiar custom. Now Robert de Ligny was causing him unbearable suffering. For a while, he had noticed Robert constantly hanging around her. He couldn't doubt that she loved Robert; and even though he sometimes told himself that she hadn't yet given herself to this man, it wasn’t because he believed it, but simply because [Pg 23] he wanted to ease the bitterness of his suffering.
Mechanical applause broke out at the back of the theatre, and a few members of the orchestra, murmuring inaudibly, clapped their hands slowly and noiselessly. Nanteuil had just given her last reply to Jeanne Perrin.
Mechanical applause erupted from the back of the theater, and a few members of the orchestra, whispering softly, clapped their hands slowly and silently. Nanteuil had just provided her final response to Jeanne Perrin.
"Brava! Brava! She is delightful, dear little woman!" sighed Madame Doulce.
"Brava! Brava! She is such a lovely, sweet woman!" sighed Madame Doulce.
In his jealous anger, Chevalier was disloyal. Lifting a finger to his forehead, he remarked:
In his jealous anger, Chevalier was unfaithful. Raising a finger to his forehead, he said:
"She plays with that." Then, placing his hand upon his heart, he added: "It is with this that one should act."
"She plays with that." Then, putting his hand on his heart, he added: "This is how one should act."
"Thanks, dear friend, thanks!" murmured Madame Doulce, who read into these maxims an obvious eulogy of herself.
"Thanks, dear friend, thanks!" murmured Madame Doulce, who understood these maxims as a clear compliment to herself.
She was, indeed, in the habit of asserting that all good acting comes from the heart; she maintained that, to give full expression to a passion, it was necessary to experience it, and to feel in one's own person the expressions that one wished to represent. She was fond of referring to herself as an example of this. When appearing as a tragedy queen, after draining a goblet of poison on the stage, her bowels had been on fire all night. Nevertheless she was given to saying: "The dramatic art is an imitative art, and one imitates an emotion all [Pg 24] the better for not having experienced it." And to illustrate this maxim she drew yet further examples from her triumphant career.
She often claimed that all great acting comes from the heart; she believed that to fully express a passion, you needed to experience it personally and feel the emotions you wanted to portray. She liked to use herself as an example. While playing a tragic queen, after downing a goblet of poison on stage, she had stomach pains all night. Still, she would say, "The dramatic art is an imitative art, and you can imitate an emotion even better if you haven't actually felt it." To support this idea, she would share more examples from her successful career. [Pg 24]
She gave a deep sigh.
She sighed deeply.
"The child is admirably gifted. But she is to be pitied; she has been born into a bad period. There is no longer a public nowadays; no critics, no plays, no theatres, no artists. It is a decadence of art."
"The child is incredibly talented. But she deserves sympathy; she was born in a terrible time. There’s no audience anymore; no critics, no plays, no theaters, no artists. It’s a decline in art."
Chevalier shook his head.
Chevalier shook his head.
"No need to pity her," he said. "She will have all that she can wish; she will succeed; she will be wealthy. She is a selfish little jade, and a woman who is selfish can get anything she likes. But for people with hearts there's nothing left but to hang a stone round one's neck and throw oneself into the river. But, I too, I shall go far. I, too, shall climb high. I, too, will be a selfish hound."
"No need to feel sorry for her," he said. "She'll have everything she wants; she'll be successful; she'll be rich. She's a selfish little brat, and a selfish woman can get whatever she wants. But for people with feelings, there's nothing left but to tie a stone around their neck and jump into the river. But I, too, will go far. I, too, will reach great heights. I, too, will be a selfish jerk."
He got up and went out without waiting for the end of the play. He did not return to Félicie's dressing-room for fear of meeting Ligny there, the sight of whom was insupportable, and because by avoiding it he could pretend to himself that Ligny had not returned thither.
He got up and left without waiting for the end of the play. He didn’t go back to Félicie's dressing room because he was afraid of running into Ligny, whose presence he couldn’t stand, and by avoiding it, he could convince himself that Ligny hadn’t gone back there.
Conscious of physical distress on going away from her, he took five or six turns under the dark, deserted arcades of the Odéon, went down the steps into the night, and turned up the Rue de [Pg 25] Médicis. Coachmen were dozing on their boxes, while waiting for the end of the performance, and high over the tops of the plane-trees the moon was racing through the clouds. Treasuring in his heart an absurd yet soothing remnant of hope, he went, this night, as on other nights, to wait for Félicie at her mother's flat.
Conscious of the physical pain from leaving her, he paced back and forth under the dark, empty arcades of the Odéon, walked down the steps into the night, and made his way up the Rue de [Pg 25] Médicis. Cab drivers were dozing on their boxes, waiting for the show to end, and high above the plane trees, the moon was racing through the clouds. Holding on to a silly but comforting flicker of hope, he went, that night, like on other nights, to wait for Félicie at her mother’s apartment.
CHAPTER III
adame Nanteuil lived with her daughter in a little flat on the fifth
story of a house in the Boulevard Saint-Michel, whose windows opened
upon the garden of the Luxembourg. She gave Chevalier a friendly
welcome, for she thought kindly of him because he loved Félicie, and
because the latter did not love him in return, and ignored on principle
the fact that he had been her daughter's lover.
Madame Nanteuil lived with her daughter in a small apartment on the fifth floor of a building on Boulevard Saint-Michel, with windows that looked out onto the Luxembourg Gardens. She greeted Chevalier warmly because she had a good opinion of him for loving Félicie, especially since Félicie didn’t love him back and intentionally overlooked the fact that he had been her daughter's lover.
She made him sit beside her in the dining-room, where a coke fire was burning in the stove. In the lamplight army revolvers and sabres with golden tassels on the sword-knots gleamed upon the wall. They were hung about a woman's cuirass, which was provided with round breast-shields of tin-plate; a piece of armour which Félicie had worn last winter, while still a pupil at the Conservatoire, when taking the part of Joan of Arc at the house of a spiritualistic duchess. An officer's widow and the mother of an actress, Madame Nanteuil, whose real name was Nantean, treasured these trophies.
She made him sit next to her in the dining room, where a coal fire was burning in the stove. In the lamplight, army revolvers and sabers with golden tassels on the hilt gleamed on the wall. They were displayed around a woman's breastplate, which had round tin breast shields; a piece of armor that Félicie had worn last winter while still a student at the Conservatoire, when she played Joan of Arc at the home of a spiritualistic duchess. An officer's widow and the mother of an actress, Madame Nanteuil, whose real name was Nantean, cherished these trophies.
"Félicie is not back yet, Monsieur Chevalier. I don't expect her before midnight. She is on the stage till the end of the play."
"Félicie isn't back yet, Mr. Chevalier. I don't expect her before midnight. She's on stage until the play ends."
"I know; I was in the first piece. I left the theatre after the first act of La Mère confidente.
"I know; I was in the first play. I left the theater after the first act of La Mère confidente.
"Oh, Monsieur Chevalier, why didn't you stay till the end? My daughter would have been so pleased if you had waited. When one is acting one likes to have friends in the house."
"Oh, Mr. Chevalier, why didn’t you stay until the end? My daughter would have been so happy if you had waited. When you’re performing, it’s nice to have friends around."
Chevalier replied ambiguously:
Chevalier replied vaguely:
"Oh, as to friends, there are plenty of those about."
"Oh, when it comes to friends, there are plenty of them around."
"You are mistaken, Monsieur Chevalier; good friends are scarce. Madame Doulce was there, of course? Was she pleased with Félicie?" And she added, with great humility: "I should indeed be happy if she could really make a hit. It is so difficult to come to the fore in her profession, for a girl who is alone, without support, without influence! And it is so necessary for her to succeed, poor child!"
"You’re wrong, Monsieur Chevalier; good friends are hard to find. Madame Doulce was there, right? Was she happy with Félicie?" And she added, with much humility: "I would truly be thrilled if she could really make it big. It’s so tough to stand out in her field, especially for a girl who’s on her own, without support, without connections! And it’s so important for her to succeed, poor thing!"
Chevalier did not feel disposed to lavish any pity upon Félicie. With a shrug of the shoulders he replied bluntly:
Chevalier didn't feel inclined to show any sympathy for Félicie. With a shrug of his shoulders, he replied bluntly:
"No need to worry about that. She'll get on. She is an actress heart and soul. She has it in her bones, down to her very legs."
"No need to worry about that. She'll manage. She's an actress through and through. It's in her blood, right down to her legs."
Madame Nanteuil indulged in a quiet smile.
Ms. Nanteuil smiled softly.
"Poor child! They are not very plump, her legs. Félicie's health is not bad, but she must not overdo it. She often has fits of giddiness, and sick headaches."
"Poor kid! Her legs aren’t very chubby. Félicie’s health isn’t bad, but she shouldn’t push herself too hard. She often gets dizzy spells and bad headaches."
The servant came in to place on the table a dish of fried sausage, a bottle of wine, and a few plates.
The server came in to set a dish of fried sausage, a bottle of wine, and some plates on the table.
Meanwhile, Chevalier was searching in his mind for some appropriate fashion of asking a question which had been on the tip of his tongue ever since he had set foot on the stairs. He wanted to know whether Félicie was still meeting Girmandel, whose name he never heard mentioned nowadays. We are given to conceiving desires which suit themselves to our condition. Now, in the misery of his existence, in the distress of his heart, he was full of an eager desire that Félicie, who loved him no longer, should love Girmandel, whom she loved but little, and he hoped with all his heart that Girmandel would keep her for him, would possess her wholly, and leave nothing of her for Robert de Ligny. The idea that the girl might be with Girmandel appeased his jealousy, and he dreaded to learn that she had broken with him.
Meanwhile, Chevalier was trying to find the right way to ask a question that had been on his mind ever since he walked up the stairs. He wanted to know if Félicie was still seeing Girmandel, a name he hadn't heard in a while. We often develop desires that fit our situation. Now, in the misery of his life and the pain in his heart, he desperately hoped that Félicie, who no longer loved him, would love Girmandel, whom she cared for only a little. He wished with all his heart that Girmandel would take her for himself, completely, and leave nothing of her for Robert de Ligny. The thought of Félicie being with Girmandel eased his jealousy, and he was afraid to find out that she had broken up with him.
Of course he would never have allowed himself to question a mother as to her daughter's lovers. But it was permissible to speak of Girmandel to Madame Nanteuil, who saw nothing that was other [Pg 29] than respectable in the relations of her household with the Government official, who was well-to-do, married, and the father of two charming daughters. To bring Girmandel's name into the conversation he had only to resort to a stratagem. Chevalier hit upon one which he thought was ingenious.
Of course, he would never have let himself question a mother about her daughter's boyfriends. But it was okay to talk about Girmandel with Madame Nanteuil, who saw nothing but respectable in her household's relationship with the government official, who was wealthy, married, and the father of two lovely daughters. To bring up Girmandel's name in conversation, he just needed to come up with a clever way. Chevalier devised one that he thought was clever. [Pg 29]
"By the way," he remarked, "I saw Girmandel just now in a carriage."
"By the way," he said, "I just saw Girmandel in a carriage."
Madame Nanteuil made no comment.
Madame Nanteuil said nothing.
"He was driving down the Boulevard Saint-Michel in a cab. I certainly thought I recognized him. I should be greatly surprised if it wasn't he."
"He was driving down Boulevard Saint-Michel in a cab. I definitely thought I recognized him. I would be very surprised if it wasn't him."
Madame Nanteuil made no comment.
Madame Nanteuil said nothing.
"His fair beard, his high colour—he's an easy man to recognize, Girmandel."
"His light-colored beard and rosy cheeks—he's an easy guy to spot, Girmandel."
Madame Nanteuil made no comment.
Ms. Nanteuil made no comment.
"You were very friendly with him at one time, you and Félicie. Do you still see him?"
"You were once really close with him, you and Félicie. Do you still keep in touch?"
"Monsieur Girmandel? Oh yes, we still see him," replied Madame Nanteuil softly.
"Monsieur Girmandel? Oh yes, we still see him," replied Madame Nanteuil softly.
These words made Chevalier feel almost happy. But she had deceived him; she had not spoken the truth. She had lied out of self-respect, and in order not to reveal a domestic secret which she regarded as derogatory to the honour of her family. The truth was that, being carried away by her passion for Ligny, Félicie had given Girmandel the go-by, and he, being a man of the world, had promptly cut [Pg 30] off supplies. Madame Nanteuil, despite her years, had resumed an old lover, out of her love for her child, that she might not want for anything. She had renewed her former liaison with Tony Meyer, the picture-dealer in the Rue de Clichy. Tony Meyer was a poor substitute for Girmandel; he was none too free with his money. Madame Nanteuil, who was wise and knew the value of things, did not complain on that account, and she was rewarded for her devotion, for, in the six weeks during which she had been loved anew, she had grown young again.
These words made Chevalier feel almost happy. But she had deceived him; she hadn’t been truthful. She had lied out of self-respect, not wanting to reveal a personal secret she thought would shame her family. The truth was that, swept away by her passion for Ligny, Félicie had ignored Girmandel, and he, being worldly, had quickly cut off support. [Pg 30] Madame Nanteuil, despite her age, had taken up with an old lover again to ensure her child wanted for nothing. She had resumed her previous affair with Tony Meyer, the art dealer on Rue de Clichy. Tony Meyer was a poor substitute for Girmandel; he wasn’t generous with his money. Madame Nanteuil, who was wise and understood value, didn’t complain about that, and she was rewarded for her devotion, as in the six weeks she had been loved again, she had grown youthful once more.
Chevalier, following up his idea, inquired:
Chevalier, following up on his idea, asked:
"You would hardly say that Girmandel was still a young man, would you?"
"You wouldn't really call Girmandel a young man anymore, would you?"
"He is not old," said Madame Nanteuil. "A man is not old at forty."
"He’s not old," said Madame Nanteuil. "A man isn’t old at forty."
"A bit used up, isn't he?"
"A little worn out, isn't he?"
"Oh, dear no," replied Madame Nanteuil, quite calmly.
"Oh, no," replied Madame Nanteuil, quite calmly.
Chevalier became thoughtful and was silent. Madame Nanteuil began to nod. Then, being aroused from her somnolence by the servant, who brought in the salt-cellar and the water-bottle, she inquired:
Chevalier fell into deep thought and stayed quiet. Madame Nanteuil started to nod off. Then, stirred from her drowsiness by the servant, who brought in the salt shaker and the water bottle, she asked:
"And you, Monsieur Chevalier, is all well with you?"
"And you, Mr. Chevalier, is everything okay with you?"
No, all was not well with him. The critics were [Pg 31] out to "down" him. And the proof that they had combined against him was that they all said the same thing; they said his face lacked expression.
No, everything was not okay with him. The critics were [Pg 31] trying to bring him down. And the evidence that they had joined forces against him was that they all said the same thing; they claimed his face lacked expression.
"My face lacking in expression!" he cried indignantly. "They should have called it a predestined face. Madame Nanteuil, I aim high, and it is that which does me harm. For example, in La Nuit du 23 octobre, which is being rehearsed now, I am Florentin: I have only six lines; it's a washout. But I have increased the importance of the character enormously. Durville is furious. He deliberately crabs all my effects."
"My face has no expression!" he exclaimed indignantly. "They should have called it a destined face. Madame Nanteuil, I set my sights high, and that's what's hurting me. For instance, in La Nuit du 23 octobre, which is currently in rehearsal, I play Florentin: I only have six lines; it's a flop. But I've made the character much more significant. Durville is livid. He purposely sabotages all my efforts."
Madame Nanteuil, placid and kindly, found words to comfort him. Obstacles there were, no doubt, but in the end one overcame them. Her own daughter had fallen foul of the ill-will of certain critics.
Madame Nanteuil, calm and gentle, found the right words to reassure him. There were definitely obstacles, but in the end, they could be overcome. Her own daughter had faced judgment from some critics.
"Half-past twelve!" said Chevalier gloomily. "Félicie is late."
"Half-past twelve!" said Chevalier gloomily. "Félicie is late."
Madame Nanteuil supposed that she had been detained by Madame Doulce.
Madame Nanteuil thought that Madame Doulce had kept her.
"Madame Doulce as a rule undertakes to see her home, and you know she never hurries herself."
"Madame Doulce usually makes it a point to check on her home, and you know she never rushes."
Chevalier rose, as if to take his leave, to show that he remembered his manners. Madame Nanteuil begged him to stay.
Chevalier stood up, as if to say goodbye, showing that he was mindful of his manners. Madame Nanteuil urged him to remain.
"Don't go; Félicie won't be long now. She [Pg 32] will be pleased to find you here. You will have supper with her."
"Don't leave; Félicie will be here soon. She [Pg 32] will be happy to see you here. You'll have dinner with her."
Madame Nanteuil dozed off again in her chair. Chevalier sat gazing in silence at the clock hanging on the wall, and as the hand travelled across the dial he felt a burning wound in his heart, which grew bigger and bigger, and each little stroke of the pendulum touched him to the quick, lending a keener eye to his jealousy, by recording the moments which Félicie was passing with Ligny. For he was now convinced that they were together. The stillness of the night, interrupted only by the muffled sound of the cabs bowling along the boulevard, gave reality to the thoughts and images which tortured him. He could see them.
Madame Nanteuil dozed off again in her chair. Chevalier sat silently staring at the clock on the wall, and as the hand moved around the dial, he felt a painful wound in his heart that grew larger and larger, and each tick of the pendulum struck him deeply, sharpening his jealousy by marking the moments Félicie was spending with Ligny. He was now convinced they were together. The stillness of the night, broken only by the distant sound of cabs rolling along the boulevard, made the thoughts and images that tormented him all too real. He could see them.
Awakened with a start by the sound of singing on the pavement below, Madame Nanteuil returned to the thought with which she had fallen asleep.
Awakened suddenly by the sound of singing from the street below, Madame Nanteuil returned to the thought she had gone to sleep with.
"That's what I am always telling Félicie; one mustn't be discouraged. One should not lose heart. We all have our ups and downs in life."
"That's what I always tell Félicie; we mustn't get discouraged. We shouldn't lose heart. We all have our ups and downs in life."
Chevalier nodded acquiescence.
Chevalier nodded in agreement.
"But those who suffer," he said, "only get what they deserve. It needs but a moment to free oneself from all one's troubles. Isn't it so?"
"But those who suffer," he said, "only get what they deserve. It takes just a moment to free yourself from all your problems. Isn't that true?"
She admitted the fact; certainly there were such things as sudden opportunities, especially on the stage.
She accepted the truth; there definitely were sudden opportunities, especially in theater.
"Heaven knows," he continued in a deep, brooding voice, "it's not the stage I am worrying about. I know I shall make a name for myself one day, and a big one. But what's the good of being a great artist if one isn't happy? There are stupid worries which are terrible! Pains that throb in your temples with strokes as even and as regular as the ticking of that clock, till they drive you mad!"
"Heaven knows," he continued in a deep, brooding voice, "I'm not worried about the stage. I know I’ll make a name for myself one day, and a big one. But what’s the point of being a great artist if you’re not happy? There are dumb worries that can be awful! Pains that throb in your temples with beats as steady and regular as that clock ticking, until they drive you crazy!"
He ceased speaking; the gloomy gaze of his deep-set eyes fell upon the trophy hanging on the wall. Then he continued:
He stopped talking; the somber look in his deeply set eyes landed on the trophy hanging on the wall. Then he went on:
"These stupid worries, these ridiculous sufferings, if one endures them too long, it simply means that one is a coward."
"These silly worries, these absurd struggles, if you put up with them for too long, it just means you're a coward."
And he felt the butt of the revolver which he always carried in his pocket.
And he felt the grip of the revolver that he always kept in his pocket.
Madame Nanteuil listened to him serenely, with that gentle determination not to know anything, which had been her one talent in life.
Madame Nanteuil listened to him calmly, with that quiet determination not to know anything, which had been her only skill in life.
"Another dreadful thing," she observed, "is to decide what to have to eat. Félicie is sick of everything. There's no knowing what to get for her."
"Another terrible thing," she noted, "is figuring out what to eat. Félicie is tired of everything. It's hard to know what to get for her."
After that, the flagging conversation languished, drawn out into detached phrases, which had no particular meaning. Madame Nanteuil, the servant, the coke fire, the lamp, the plate of sausage, awaited Félicie in depressing silence. The clock struck one. [Pg 34] Chevalier's suffering had by this time attained the serenity of a flood tide. He was now certain. The cabs were not so frequent and their wheels echoed more loudly along the street. The rumbling of one of these cabs suddenly ceased outside the house. A few seconds later he heard the slight grating of a key in the lock, the slamming of the door, and light footsteps in the outer room.
After that, the conversation drifted into meaningless phrases. Madame Nanteuil, the servant, the burning coal fire, the lamp, and the plate of sausage waited for Félicie in a depressing silence. The clock struck one. [Pg 34] By this time, Chevalier's suffering had settled into a calmness like a rising tide. He felt certain now. Cabs were less frequent, and their wheels echoed more loudly along the street. The rumbling of one of these cabs suddenly stopped outside the house. A few seconds later, he heard the faint sound of a key in the lock, the door slamming shut, and light footsteps in the outer room.
The clock marked twenty-three minutes past one. He was suddenly full of agitation, yet hopeful. She had come! Who could tell what she would say? She might offer the most natural explanation of her late arrival.
The clock showed 1:23. He felt a rush of nervous energy, but also hope. She had arrived! Who knew what she would say? She might give the most ordinary reason for being late.
Félicie entered the room, her hair in disorder, her eyes shining, her cheeks white, her bruised lips a vivid red; she was tired, indifferent, mute, happy and lovely, seeming to guard beneath her cloak, which she held wrapped about her with both hands, some remnant of warmth and voluptuous pleasure.
Félicie walked into the room, her hair messy, her eyes bright, her cheeks pale, and her bruised lips a striking red; she looked tired, indifferent, silent, happy, and beautiful, as if she was holding onto a trace of warmth and pleasure under her cloak, which she tightly wrapped around herself with both hands.
"I was beginning to be worried," said her mother. "Aren't you going to unfasten your cloak?"
"I was starting to get worried," her mom said. "Aren't you going to take off your cloak?"
"I'm hungry," she replied. She dropped into a chair before the little round table. Throwing her cloak over the back of the chair, she revealed her slender figure in its little black schoolgirl's dress, and, resting her left elbow on the oil-cloth table-cover, she proceeded to stick her fork into the sliced sausage.
"I'm hungry," she said. She sat down in a chair at the small round table. Throwing her cloak over the back of the chair, she showed off her slim figure in a little black schoolgirl dress, and, resting her left elbow on the oilcloth table cover, she went ahead and stabbed her fork into the sliced sausage.
"Did everything go off well to-night?" asked Madame Nanteuil.
"Did everything go well tonight?" asked Madame Nanteuil.
"Quite well."
"Pretty good."
"You see Chevalier has come to keep you company. It is kind of him, isn't it?"
"You see, Chevalier has come to hang out with you. That’s nice of him, right?"
"Oh, Chevalier! Well, let him come to the table."
"Oh, Chevalier! Alright, let him join us at the table."
And, without replying further to her mother's questions, she began to eat, greedy and charming, like Ceres in the old woman's house. Then she pushed aside her plate, and leaning back in her chair, with half-closed eyes, and parted lips, she smiled a smile that was akin to a kiss.
And, without answering her mother's questions any further, she started to eat, both eager and endearing, like Ceres in the old woman's home. Then she set her plate aside, leaned back in her chair, with half-closed eyes and slightly parted lips, and smiled a smile that was almost like a kiss.
Madame Nanteuil, having drunk her glass of mulled wine, rose to her feet.
Madame Nanteuil, after finishing her glass of mulled wine, got up.
"You will excuse me, Monsieur Chevalier, I have my accounts to bring up to date."
"You'll excuse me, Mr. Chevalier, I need to update my accounts."
This was the formula which she usually employed to announce that she was going to bed.
This was the way she usually let everyone know that she was heading to bed.
Left alone with Félicie, Chevalier said to her angrily:
Left alone with Félicie, Chevalier said to her angrily:
"I know I'm a fool and a groveller; but I'm going mad for love of you. Do you hear, Félicie?"
"I know I'm a fool and begging; but I'm going crazy for love of you. Do you hear me, Félicie?"
"I should think I do hear. You needn't shout like that!"
"I think I can hear you. You don't need to shout like that!"
"It's ridiculous, isn't it?"
"Isn't it ridiculous?"
"No, it's not ridiculous, it's——"
"No, it's not silly, it's——"
She did not complete the sentence.
She didn't complete the sentence.
He drew nearer to her, dragging his chair with him.
He moved closer to her, pulling his chair along.
"You came in at twenty-five minutes past one. It was Ligny who saw you home, I know it. He brought you back in a cab, I heard it stop outside the house."
"You arrived at 1:25. I know it was Ligny who took you home. He brought you back in a cab; I heard it stop outside the house."
As she did not reply, he continued:
As she didn’t respond, he continued:
"Deny it, if you can!"
"Go ahead, deny it!"
She remained silent, and he repeated, in an urgent, almost appealing tone:
She stayed quiet, and he said again, in a urgent, almost pleading tone:
"Tell me he didn't!"
"Tell me he didn't!"
Had she been so inclined, she might, with a phrase, with a single word, with a tiny movement of head or shoulders, have rendered him perfectly submissive, and almost happy. But she maintained a malicious silence. With compressed lips and a far-off look in her eyes, she seemed as though lost in a dream.
Had she wanted to, she could have, with a phrase, a single word, or just a slight movement of her head or shoulders, made him completely submissive and almost happy. But she chose to remain silently malicious. With tight lips and a distant look in her eyes, she appeared to be lost in a daydream.
He sighed hoarsely.
He sighed harshly.
"Fool that I was, I didn't think of that! I told myself you would come home, as on other nights, with Madame Doulce, or else alone. If I had only known that you were going to let that fellow see you home!"
"How foolish I was not to think of that! I convinced myself you would come home, like on other nights, with Madame Doulce, or just by yourself. If only I had known you were going to let that guy walk you home!"
"Well, what would you have done, had you known it?"
"Well, what would you have done if you had known?"
"I should have followed you, by God!"
"I should have followed you, for real!"
She stared at him with hard, unnaturally bright eyes.
She looked at him with intense, unnaturally bright eyes.
"That I forbid you to do! Understand me! If I learn that you have followed me, even once, I'll never see you again. To begin with, you haven't the right to follow me. I suppose I am free to do as I like."
"That's not something I allow! Do you get what I'm saying? If I find out you’ve followed me, even just once, I won’t see you again. For starters, you don’t have the right to follow me. I believe I'm free to do whatever I choose."
Choking with astonishment and anger, he stammered:
Choking with shock and anger, he stuttered:
"Haven't the right to? Haven't the right to? You tell me I haven't the right?"
"Haven't I the right? Haven't I the right? You're telling me I don't have the right?"
"No, you haven't the right! Moreover, I won't have it." Her face assumed an expression of disgust. "It's a mean trick to spy on a woman, if you once try to find out where I'm going, I'll send you about your business, and quickly at that."
"No, you don’t have the right! Besides, I won’t allow it." Her face twisted into a look of disgust. "It’s a petty move to pry into a woman’s life; if you ever try to figure out where I’m going, I’ll send you packing, and fast."
"Then," he murmured, thunderstruck, "we are nothing to each other, I am nothing to you. We have never belonged to each other. But see, Félicie, remember——"
"Then," he said softly, in shock, "we mean nothing to each other, I mean nothing to you. We’ve never really belonged to each other. But look, Félicie, remember——"
But she was losing patience:
But she was running out of patience:
"Well, what do you want me to remember?"
"Well, what do you want me to keep in mind?"
"Félicie, remember that you gave yourself to me!"
"Félicie, remember that you committed to me!"
"My dear boy, you really can't expect me to think of that all day. It wouldn't be proper."
"My dear boy, you honestly can't expect me to think about that all day. It wouldn't be appropriate."
He looked at her for a while, more in curiosity [Pg 38] than in anger, and said to her, half bitterly, half gently:
He stared at her for a bit, more out of curiosity [Pg 38] than anger, and said to her, part bitter, part gentle:
"They may well call you a selfish little jade! Be one, Félicie, be one, as much as you like! What does it matter, since I love you? You are mine; I am going to take you back; I am going to take you back, and keep you. Think! I can't go on suffering for ever, like a poor dumb beast. Listen. I'll start with a clean slate. Let us begin to love one another over again. And this time it will be all right. And you'll be mine for good, mine only. I am an honest man; you know that. You can depend on me. I'll marry you as soon as I've got a position."
"They might call you a selfish little brat! So what, Félicie? Just be one as much as you want! It doesn’t matter, because I love you. You belong to me; I’m going to take you back; I’m going to take you back and keep you. Think about it! I can’t keep suffering forever, like a poor animal. Listen, let’s wipe the slate clean. Let’s start loving each other again. This time it’ll work out. You’ll be mine for good, only mine. I’m an honest man; you know that. You can count on me. I’ll marry you as soon as I have a stable job."
She gazed at him with disdainful surprise. He believed that she had doubts as to his dramatic future, and, in order to banish them, he said, erect on his long legs:
She looked at him with a mix of surprise and disdain. He thought she had doubts about his dramatic future, and to dispel them, he said, standing tall on his long legs:
"Don't you believe in my star, Félicie? You are wrong. I can feel that I am capable of creating great parts. Let them only give me a part, and they'll see. And I have in me not only comedy, but drama, tragedy—yes, tragedy. I can deliver verse properly. And that is a talent which is becoming rare in these days. So don't imagine, Félicie, that I am insulting you when I offer you marriage. Far from it! We will marry later on, as soon as it is possible and suitable. Of [Pg 39] course, there is no need for hurry. Meanwhile, we will resume our pleasant habits of the Rue des Martyrs. You remember, Félicie; we were so happy there! The bed wasn't wide, but we used to say: "That doesn't matter." I have now two fine rooms in the Rue de la Montagne-Saint-Geneviève, behind Saint-Étienne-du-Mont. Your portrait hangs on every wall. You will find there the little bed of the Rue des Martyrs. Listen to me, I beg of you: I have suffered too much; I will not suffer any longer. I demand that you shall be mine, mine only."
"Don't you believe in my talent, Félicie? You're mistaken. I know I can create amazing roles. Just give me a part, and they'll see. I have not only comedy in me but also drama and tragedy—yes, tragedy. I can deliver lines well, and that's a skill that's getting rare these days. So don't think, Félicie, that I'm insulting you when I propose marriage. Quite the opposite! We'll marry later when it's feasible and appropriate. Of [Pg 39] course, there's no rush. In the meantime, let's get back to our happy times on Rue des Martyrs. You remember, Félicie; we were so joyful there! The bed was small, but we used to say, "That doesn't matter." Now I have two nice rooms on Rue de la Montagne-Saint-Geneviève, behind Saint-Étienne-du-Mont. Your portrait hangs on every wall. You'll find the little bed from Rue des Martyrs there. Please listen to me: I've suffered too much; I won’t endure any more pain. I insist that you be mine, and mine alone."
While he was speaking, Félicie had taken from the mantelpiece the pack of cards with which her mother played every night, and was spreading them out on the table.
While he was talking, Félicie had picked up the deck of cards that her mother used every night from the mantelpiece and was laying them out on the table.
"Mine only. You hear me, Félicie."
"Mine only. Do you hear me, Félicie?"
"Don't disturb me, I am busy with a game of patience."
"Don't bother me, I'm busy with a game of solitaire."
"Listen to me, Félicie. I won't have you receiving that fool in your dressing-room."
"Listen to me, Félicie. I can’t let you see that idiot in your dressing room."
Looking at her cards she murmured:
Looking at her cards, she whispered:
"All the blacks are at the bottom of the pack."
"All the Black people are at the bottom of the pack."
"I say that fool. He is a diplomatist, and nowadays the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is the refuge of incompetents." Raising his voice, he continued: "Félicie, for your own sake, as well as for mine, listen to me!"
"I call him a fool. He's a diplomat, and these days the Foreign Affairs Ministry is where the incompetent people go." Raising his voice, he added, "Félicie, for your own good and mine, please listen to me!"
"Well, don't shout, then. Mama is asleep."
"Well, don't yell, then. Mom is asleep."
He continued in muffled tones:
He spoke in hushed tones:
"Just get it into your head that I don't intend that Ligny shall be your lover."
"Just accept that I don’t plan for Ligny to be your lover."
She raised her spiteful little face, and replied:
She lifted her angry little face and answered:
"And if he is my lover?"
"And what if he's my boyfriend?"
He moved a step closer to her, raising his chair, gazing at her with the eye of a madman, and laughing a cracked laugh.
He stepped closer to her, lifting his chair, looking at her with the gaze of a madman, and laughed a broken laugh.
"If he is your lover, he won't be so for long."
"If he's your lover, he won't be for long."
And he dropped the chair.
And he dropped the chair.
Now she was alarmed. She forced herself to smile.
Now she was worried. She made herself smile.
"You know very well I'm joking!"
"I'm just joking!"
She succeeded without much difficulty in making him believe that she had spoken thus merely to punish him, because he was getting unbearable. He became calmer. She then informed him that she was tired out, that she was dropping with sleep. At last he decided to go home. On the landing he turned, and said:
She easily convinced him that she had said that just to teach him a lesson because he was being unbearable. He relaxed a bit. She then told him that she was exhausted and about to fall asleep. Eventually, he decided to head home. As he was leaving, he turned and said:
"Félicie, I advise you, if you wish to avoid a tragedy, not to see Ligny again."
"Félicie, I recommend that you avoid seeing Ligny again if you want to prevent a tragedy."
She cried through the half-open door:
She cried through the slightly open door:
"Knock on the window of the porter's lodge, so that he can let you out!"
"Tap on the window of the doorman's booth so he can let you out!"
CHAPTER IV
n the dark auditorium large linen sheets protected the balcony and the
boxes. The orchestra was covered with a huge dust-cloth, which, being
turned back at the edges, left room for a few human figures,
indistinctly seen in the gloom: actors, scene-shifters, costumiers,
friends of the manager, mothers and lovers and actresses. Here and there
shone a pair of eyes from the black recesses of the boxes.
In the dark auditorium, large linen sheets covered the balcony and the boxes. The orchestra was hidden under a massive dust cloth, which was pulled back at the edges, allowing a few human figures to be faintly seen in the shadows: actors, stagehands, costume designers, friends of the manager, mothers, lovers, and actresses. Here and there, a pair of eyes glimmered from the dark corners of the boxes.
They were rehearsing, for the fifty-sixth time, La Nuit du 23 octobre 1812, a celebrated drama, dating twenty years back, which had not as yet been performed in this theatre. The actors knew their parts, and the following day had been chosen for that last private rehearsal which on stages less austere than that of the Odéon is known as "the dressmakers' rehearsal."
They were rehearsing, for the fifty-sixth time, The Night of October 23, 1812, a famous play from twenty years ago that had yet to be performed at this theater. The actors were familiar with their roles, and the next day had been set for that final private rehearsal, often referred to in less formal theaters than the Odéon as "the dress rehearsal."
Nanteuil had no part in the play. But she had had business at the theatre that day, and, as she had been informed that Marie-Claire was execrable [Pg 42] in the part of General Malet's wife, she had come to have a peep at her, concealed in the depths of a box.
Nanteuil wasn't involved in the play. However, she had some business at the theater that day, and since she heard that Marie-Claire was terrible in the role of General Malet's wife, she decided to sneak a look at her, hiding in the back of a box. [Pg 42]
The great scene of the second act was about to begin. The stage setting represented an attic in the private asylum where the conspirator was confined in 1812. Durville, who filled the part of General Malet, had just made his entrance. He was rehearsing in costume: a long blue frock-coat, with a collar reaching above his ears, and riding-breeches of chamois leather. He had even gone so far as to make up his face for the part, the clean-shaven soldierly face of the general of the Empire, ornamented with the "hare's-foot" whiskers which were handed down by the victors of Austerlitz to their sons, the bourgeois of July. Standing erect, his right elbow resting in his left hand, his brow supported by his right hand, his deep voice and his tight-fitting breeches expressed his pride.
The big scene of the second act was about to start. The stage was set up to look like an attic in the private asylum where the conspirator had been held in 1812. Durville, playing General Malet, had just walked on stage. He was dressed in costume: a long blue frock coat with a collar that reached above his ears, and riding breeches made of chamois leather. He had even gone the extra mile to apply makeup for the role, creating the clean-shaven, soldierly look of an empire general, complete with the "hare's-foot" whiskers passed down from the Austerlitz victors to their sons, the bourgeois of July. Standing tall, with his right elbow resting on his left hand and his brow supported by his right hand, his deep voice and snug-fitting breeches showcased his pride.
"Alone, and without funds, from the depths of a prison, to attack this colossus, who commands a million soldiers, and who causes all the peoples and kings of Europe to tremble. Well, this colossus shall fall crashing to the ground."
"Alone and broke, from the depths of a prison, to take on this giant who commands a million soldiers and makes all the people and kings of Europe tremble. Well, this giant will come crashing down."
From the back of the stage old Maury, who was playing the conspirator Jacquemont, delivered his reply:
From the back of the stage, old Maury, who was playing the conspirator Jacquemont, delivered his response:
"He may crush us in his downfall."
"He might take us down with him if he fails."
Suddenly cries at once plaintive and angry arose from the orchestra.
Suddenly, cries that were both mournful and angry came up from the orchestra.
The author was exploding. He was a man of seventy, brimming over with youth.
The author was bursting with energy. He was a seventy-year-old man, overflowing with vitality.
"What do I see there at the back of the stage? It's not an actor, it's a fire-place. We shall have to send for the bricklayers, the marble-workers, to move it. Maury, do get a move on, confound you!"
"What do I see back there on the stage? It's not an actor, it's a fireplace. We'll need to call in the bricklayers and marble workers to move it. Maury, hurry up, for goodness' sake!"
Maury shifted his position.
Maury changed his position.
"He may crush us in his downfall. I realize that it will not be your fault, General. Your proclamation is excellent. You promise them a constitution, liberty, equality. It is Machiavellian."
"He might take us down with him. I get that it won't be your fault, General. Your statement is spot on. You guarantee them a constitution, freedom, and equality. It's very Machiavellian."
Durville replied:
Durville responded:
"And in the best sense. An incorrigible breed, they are making ready to violate the oaths that they have not yet taken, and, because they lie, they believe themselves Machiavellis. What will you do with absolute power, you simpletons?"
"And in the best sense. A hopeless bunch, they're getting ready to break the vows they haven't even made yet, and, because they're dishonest, they see themselves as Machiavellis. What will you do with absolute power, you fools?"
The strident voice of the author ground out:
The loud voice of the author shouted:
"You are right off the track, Dauville."
"You are completely off track, Dauville."
"I?" asked the astonished Durville.
"Me?" asked the astonished Durville.
"Yes, you, Dauville, you do not understand a word of what you are saying."
"Yes, you, Dauville, you don't understand a single word of what you're saying."
In order to humiliate them, "to take them down a peg," this man who, in the whole course of his life, had never forgotten the name of a dairy-woman [Pg 44] or a hall-porter, disdained to remember the names of the most illustrious actors.
In order to humiliate them, "to take them down a peg," this man who, throughout his entire life, had never forgotten the name of a dairy worker or a doorman, refused to remember the names of the most famous actors. [Pg 44]
"Dauville, my friend, just do that over again for me."
"Dauville, my friend, please do that again for me."
He could play every part well. Jovial, funereal, violent, tender, impetuous, affectionate, he assumed at will a deep or a piping voice; he sighed, he roared, he laughed, he wept. He could transform himself, like the man in the fairy-tale, into a flame, a river, a woman, a tiger.
He could play every role perfectly. Cheerful, somber, aggressive, gentle, impulsive, caring—he could easily switch between a deep voice and a high-pitched one; he sighed, he roared, he laughed, he cried. He could change himself, like the character in a fairy tale, into a flame, a river, a woman, a tiger.
In the wings the actors exchanged only short and meaningless phrases. Their freedom of speech, their easy morals, the familiarity of their manners did not prevent their retaining so much of hypocrisy as is needful, in any assemblage of men, if people are to look upon one another without feelings of horror and disgust. There even prevailed, in this workshop in full activity, a seemly appearance of harmony and union, a oneness of feeling created by the thought, lofty or commonplace, of the author, a spirit of order which compelled all rivalries and all illwill to transform themselves into goodwill and harmonious co-operation.
In the wings, the actors exchanged only brief and empty comments. Their freedom of speech, relaxed morals, and familiar manners didn’t stop them from keeping enough hypocrisy necessary in any group of people to avoid feelings of horror and disgust between each other. There was even a noticeable sense of harmony and unity in this bustling workshop, a shared feeling stirred by the author’s thoughts, whether high-minded or ordinary, a spirit of order that forced all rivalries and bad feelings to change into goodwill and cooperative effort.
Nanteuil, sitting in her box, felt uneasy at the thought that Chevalier was close at hand. For the last two days, since the night on which he had uttered his obscure threats, she had not seen him again and the fear with which he had inspired her [Pg 45] still possessed her. "Félicie, if you wish to prevent a tragedy, I advise you not to see Ligny again." What did those words portend? She pondered deeply over Chevalier. This young fellow, who, only two days earlier, had seemed to her commonplace and insignificant, of whom she had seen a good deal too much, whom she knew by heart—how mysterious and full of secrets he now appeared to her! How suddenly it had dawned upon her that she did not know him! Of what was he capable? She tried to guess. What was he going to do? Probably nothing. All men who are thrown over by a woman utter threats and do nothing. But was Chevalier a man quite like all the rest? People did say that he was crazy. That was mere talk. But she herself did not feel sure that there might not be a spark of insanity in him. She was studying him now with genuine interest. Highly intelligent herself, she had never discovered any great signs of intelligence in him; but he had on several occasions astonished her by the obstinacy of his will. She could remember his performing acts of the fiercest energy. Jealous by nature, there were yet certain matters which he understood. He knew what a woman is compelled to do in order to win a place on the stage, or to dress herself properly; but he could not endure to be deceived for the sake of love. Was [Pg 46] he the sort of man to commit a crime, to do something dreadful? That was what she could not decide. She recalled his mania for handling firearms. When she used to visit him in the Rue des Martyrs, she always found him in his room, taking an old shot-gun to pieces and cleaning it. And yet he never went shooting. He boasted of being a dead shot, and carried a revolver on his person. But what did that prove? Never before had she thought so much about him.
Nanteuil, sitting in her box, felt uneasy at the thought that Chevalier was nearby. For the last two days, since the night he had made his vague threats, she hadn’t seen him again, and the fear he had instilled in her still lingered. "Félicie, if you want to avoid a tragedy, I suggest you don’t see Ligny again." What did those words imply? She thought deeply about Chevalier. This young man, who just two days ago had seemed ordinary and insignificant to her, someone she felt she knew very well—how mysterious and secretive he now appeared! It suddenly hit her that she didn’t really know him at all! What was he capable of? She tried to figure it out. What was he going to do? Probably nothing. All men rejected by women tend to make threats and never follow through. But was Chevalier just like all the others? People claimed he was crazy. That was just talk. Yet she wasn't entirely sure there wasn't a hint of madness in him. She was now observing him with genuine interest. Highly intelligent herself, she had never noticed any significant signs of intelligence in him, but he had surprised her several times with the stubbornness of his will. She remembered instances of his fierce energy. Jealous by nature, he still grasped certain realities. He understood what a woman had to do to secure a place on stage or to dress appropriately; however, he couldn’t stand being deceived for the sake of love. Was he the kind of man to commit a crime, to do something horrific? That was something she couldn’t figure out. She recalled his obsession with guns. When she visited him in the Rue des Martyrs, she always found him in his room, taking apart and cleaning an old shotgun. Yet he never went hunting. He claimed to be an expert shot and carried a revolver with him. But what did that really mean? Never before had she thought so much about him.
Nanteuil was tormenting herself in this fashion in her box, when Jenny Fagette came to join her there; Jenny Fagette, slender and fragile, the incarnation of Alfred de Musset's Muse, who at night wore out her eyes of periwinkle-blue by scribbling society notes and fashion articles. A mediocre actress, but a clever and wonderfully energetic woman, she was Nanteuil's most intimate friend. They recognized in each other remarkable qualities, qualities which differed from those which each discovered in herself, and they acted in concert as the two great Powers of the Odéon. Nevertheless, Fagette was doing her best to take Ligny away from her friend; not from inclination, for she was insensible as a stick and held men in contempt, but with the idea that a liaison with a diplomatist would procure her certain advantages, and above all, in order not to miss the opportunity of doing something [Pg 47] scandalous. Nanteuil was aware of this. She knew that all her sister-actresses, Ellen Midi, Duvernet, Herschell, Falempin, Stella, Marie-Claire, were trying to take Ligny from her. She had seen Louise Dalle, who dressed like a music-mistress, and always had the air of being about to storm an omnibus, and retained, even in her provocations and accidental contacts, the appearance of incurable respectability, pursue Ligny with her lanky legs, and beset him with the glances of a poverty-stricken Pasiphae. She had also surprised the oldest actress of the theatre, their excellent mother Ravaud, in a corridor, baring, at Ligny's approach, all that was left to her, her magnificent arms, which had been famous for forty years.
Nanteuil was torturing herself like this in her box when Jenny Fagette came to join her. Jenny Fagette, slender and delicate, the embodiment of Alfred de Musset's Muse, who at night strained her periwinkle-blue eyes writing society notes and fashion articles. A mediocre actress, but a smart and incredibly energetic woman, she was Nanteuil's closest friend. They recognized in each other remarkable qualities, different from those they saw in themselves, and together they ruled as the two main forces of the Odéon. However, Fagette was doing her best to steal Ligny away from her friend; not out of desire, since she was as insensitive as a stick and held men in disdain, but because she believed that a relationship with a diplomat would bring her certain advantages, and above all, she didn’t want to miss the chance to do something scandalous. Nanteuil was aware of this. She knew that all her fellow actresses—Ellen Midi, Duvernet, Herschell, Falempin, Stella, Marie-Claire—were trying to take Ligny from her. She had seen Louise Dalle, who dressed like a music teacher and always seemed ready to storm a bus, maintaining an air of stubborn respectability even in her provocations and accidental brushes, chase after Ligny with her lanky legs and bombard him with the looks of a struggling Pasiphae. She had also caught the oldest actress at the theater, their beloved mother Ravaud, in a corridor, exposing all that remained of her, her magnificent arms, which had been famous for forty years, as Ligny approached.
Fagette, with disgust, and the tip of a gloved finger, called Nanteuil's attention to the scene through which Durville, old Maury and Marie-Claire were struggling.
Fagette, with a look of disgust and the tip of a gloved finger, pointed out the chaotic scene that Durville, old Maury, and Marie-Claire were trying to navigate.
"Just look at those people. They look as if they were playing at the bottom of thirty fathoms of water."
"Just look at those people. They look like they're playing at the bottom of thirty fathoms of water."
"It's because the top lights are not lit."
"It's because the top lights aren't on."
"Not a bit of it. This theatre always looks as if it were at the bottom of the sea. And to think that I, too, in a moment, have to enter that aquarium. Nanteuil, you must not stop longer than one season in this theatre. One is drowned in it. But look at them, look at them!"
"Not at all. This theater always looks like it’s at the bottom of the sea. And to think that I, too, will have to step into that aquarium soon. Nanteuil, you can’t stay in this theater for more than one season. You get drowned in it. But look at them, look at them!"
Durville was becoming almost ventriloqual in order to seem more solemn and more virile:
Durville was becoming almost like a ventriloquist to appear more serious and more masculine:
"Peace, the abolition of the combined martial and civil law, and of conscription, higher pay for the troops; in the absence of funds, a few drafts on the bank, a few commissions suitably distributed, these are infallible means."
"Peace, the elimination of the combined military and civil law, and the end of conscription, higher pay for the troops; if funds are short, a few bank drafts, a few well-placed commissions, these are foolproof methods."
Madame Doulce entered the box. Unfastening her cloak with its pathetic lining of old rabbit-skin, she produced a small dog's-eared book.
Madame Doulce stepped into the box. She unbuttoned her cloak with its worn-out rabbit-skin lining and pulled out a small, dog-eared book.
"They are Madame de Sévigné's letters," she said. "You know that next Sunday I am going to give a reading of the best of Madame de Sévigné's letters."
"They're Madame de Sévigné's letters," she said. "You know that next Sunday I'm going to give a reading of the best of Madame de Sévigné's letters."
"Where?" asked Fagette.
"Where?" Fagette asked.
"Salle Renard."
"Salle Renard."
It must have been some remote and little known hall, for Nanteuil and Fagette had not heard of it.
It must have been a distant and obscure hall, because Nanteuil and Fagette had never heard of it.
"I am giving this reading for the benefit of the three poor orphans left by Lacour, the actor, who died so sadly of consumption this winter. I am counting on you, my darlings, to dispose of some tickets for me."
"I’m doing this reading to help the three poor orphans left behind by Lacour, the actor, who sadly passed away from tuberculosis this winter. I’m counting on you, my darlings, to sell some tickets for me."
"All the same, she really is ridiculous, Marie-Claire!" said Nanteuil.
"Still, she really is ridiculous, Marie-Claire!" said Nanteuil.
Some one scratched at the door of the box. It was Constantin Marc, the youthful author of a play, [Pg 49] La Grille, which the Odéon was going to rehearse immediately; and Constantin Marc, although a countryman living in the forest, could henceforth breathe only in the theatre. Nanteuil was to take the principal part in the play. He gazed upon her with emotion, as the precious amphora destined to be the receptacle of his thought.
Someone scratched at the door of the box. It was Constantin Marc, the young author of a play, [Pg 49] La Grille, which the Odéon was about to rehearse right away; and Constantin Marc, although he was a country guy living in the forest, could now only breathe in the theater. Nanteuil was set to play the lead role in the play. He looked at her with deep emotion, seeing her as the precious vessel meant to hold his thoughts.
Meanwhile Durville continued hoarsely:
Meanwhile, Durville continued hoarsely:
"If our France can be saved only at the price of our life and honour, I shall say, with the man of '93: 'Perish our memory!'"
"If saving our France means sacrificing our lives and honor, I will say, like the person from '93: 'Forget our memory!'"
Fagette pointed her finger at a bloated youth, who was sitting in the orchestra, resting his chin on his walking-stick.
Fagette pointed her finger at a chubby young man, who was sitting in the orchestra, resting his chin on his cane.
"Isn't that Baron Deutz?"
"Isn't that Baron Deutz?"
"Need you ask!" replied Nanteuil. "Ellen Midi is in the cast. She plays in the fourth act. Baron Deutz has come to display himself."
"Do you really need to ask?" replied Nanteuil. "Ellen Midi is in the cast. She performs in the fourth act. Baron Deutz is here to show off."
"Just wait a minute, my children; I have a word to say to that ill-mannered cub. He met me yesterday in the Place de la Concorde, and he didn't bow to me."
"Just wait a minute, kids; I have something to say to that rude cub. He saw me yesterday in the Place de la Concorde, and he didn't bow to me."
"What, Baron Deutz? He couldn't have seen you!"
"What, Baron Deutz? He must not have seen you!"
"He saw me perfectly well. But he was with his people. I am going to have him on toast. Just you watch, my dears."
"He saw me clearly. But he was with his crowd. I'm going to take him down. Just wait and see, my dears."
She called him very softly:
She whispered to him:
"Deutz! Deutz!"
"Deutz! Deutz!"
The Baron came towards her, smiling and well-pleased with himself, and leaned his elbows on the edge of the box.
The Baron approached her, smiling and pleased with himself, and leaned his elbows on the edge of the box.
"Tell me, Monsieur Deutz, when you met me yesterday, were you in very bad company that you did not raise your hat to me?"
"Tell me, Mr. Deutz, when we met yesterday, were you in such terrible company that you didn't bother to take off your hat for me?"
He looked at her in astonishment.
He stared at her in shock.
"I? I was with my sister."
"I? I was with my sister."
"Oh!"
"Oh!"
On the stage, Marie-Claire, hanging upon Durville's neck, was exclaiming:
On stage, Marie-Claire, clutching Durville's neck, was shouting:
"Go! Victorious or defeated, in good or evil fortune, your glory will be equally great. Come what may, I shall know how to show myself the wife of a hero."
"Go! Whether you win or lose, whether in good times or bad, your honor will be just as significant. No matter what happens, I will prove myself to be the wife of a hero."
"That will do, Madame Marie-Claire!" said Pradel.
"That’s enough, Madame Marie-Claire!" said Pradel.
Just at that moment Chevalier made his entry, and immediately the author, tearing his hair, let loose a flood of imprecations:
Just at that moment, Chevalier walked in, and right away the author, pulling at his hair, unleashed a stream of curses:
"Do you call that an entry? It's a tumble, a catastrophe, a cataclysm! Ye gods! A meteor, an aerolith, a bit of the moon falling on to the stage would be less horribly disastrous! I will take off my play! Chevalier, come in again, my good fellow!"
"Is that what you call an entry? It's a mess, a disaster, a total catastrophe! Oh my goodness! A meteor, a piece of space rock, a chunk of the moon crashing onto the stage would be less disastrous! I'm pulling my play! Chevalier, come back in, my friend!"
The artist who had designed the costumes, [Pg 51] Michel, a fair young man with a mystic's beard, was seated in the first row, on the arm of a stall. He leaned over and whispered into the ear of Roger, the scene-painter:
The artist who created the costumes, [Pg 51] Michel, a light-haired young man with a mystical-looking beard, was sitting in the front row, resting on the arm of a seat. He leaned in and whispered into Roger's ear, the scene-painter:
"And to think it's the fifty-sixth time that he's dropped on Chevalier with the same fury!"
"And to think it’s the fifty-sixth time he’s gone off on Chevalier with the same intensity!"
"Well, you know, Chevalier is rottenly bad," replied Roger, without hesitation.
"Well, you know, Chevalier is really terrible," replied Roger, without hesitation.
"It isn't that he is bad," returned Michel indulgently. "But he always seems to be laughing, and nothing could be worse for a comedy actor. I knew him when he was quite a kid, at Montmartre. At school his masters used to ask him: 'Why are you laughing?' He was not laughing; he had no desire to laugh; he used to get his ears boxed from morning to night. His parents wanted to put him in a chemical factory. But he had dreams of the stage, and spent his days on the Butte Montmartre, in the studio of the painter Montalent. Montalent at that time was working day and night on his Death of Saint Louis, a huge picture which was commissioned for the cathedral of Carthage. One day, Montalent said to him——"
"It’s not that he’s a bad person," Michel said with a hint of tolerance. "But he always seems to be laughing, and nothing could be worse for a comedy actor. I knew him when he was just a kid in Montmartre. At school, his teachers would ask him, 'Why are you laughing?' He wasn’t laughing; he didn’t want to laugh; he would get his ears boxed from morning to night. His parents wanted to send him to work in a chemical factory. But he dreamed of the stage and spent his days on the Butte Montmartre, in the studio of the painter Montalent. At that time, Montalent was working day and night on his Death of Saint Louis, a large painting commissioned for the cathedral of Carthage. One day, Montalent said to him——"
"A little less noise!" shouted Pradel.
"A bit less noise!" shouted Pradel.
"Said to him: 'Chevalier, since you have nothing to do, just sit for Philippe the Bold.' 'With pleasure,' said Chevalier. Montalent told him to assume the attitude of a man bowed down with [Pg 52] grief. More, he stuck two tears as big as spectacle lenses on his cheeks. He finished his picture, forwarded it to Carthage, and had half a dozen bottles of champagne sent up. Three months later he received from Father Cornemuse, the head of the French Missions in Tunis, a letter informing him that his painting of the Death of Saint Louis, having been submitted to the Cardinal-Archbishop, had been refused by His Eminence, because of the unseemly expression on the face of Philippe the Bold who was laughing as he watched the saintly King, his father, dying on a bed of straw. Montalent could not make head or tail of it; he was furious, and wanted to take proceedings against the Cardinal-Archbishop. His painting was returned to him; he unpacked it, gazed at it in gloomy silence, and suddenly shouted: 'It's true—Philippe the Bold appears to be splitting his sides with laughter. What a fool I have been! I gave him the head of Chevalier, who always seems to be laughing, the brute!'"
Said to him: "Chevalier, since you have nothing to do, just sit for Philippe the Bold." "Sure," said Chevalier. Montalent told him to pose like a man weighed down by grief. Then, he stuck two tears the size of glasses on his cheeks. He finished his painting, sent it to Carthage, and had a half dozen bottles of champagne shipped over. Three months later, he got a letter from Father Cornemuse, the head of the French Missions in Tunis, letting him know that his painting of the Death of Saint Louis, which was shown to the Cardinal-Archbishop, was rejected by His Eminence because of the inappropriate expression on Philippe the Bold’s face, who was laughing while watching the saintly King, his father, dying on a bed of straw. Montalent couldn’t make sense of it; he was furious and wanted to file a complaint against the Cardinal-Archbishop. His painting was sent back to him; he unpacked it, stared at it in gloomy silence, and suddenly shouted, "It’s true—Philippe the Bold looks like he’s cracking up. What a fool I’ve been! I gave him the head of Chevalier, who always looks like he's laughing, the idiot!"
"Will you be quiet there!" yelled Pradel.
"Can you be quiet over there!" shouted Pradel.
And the author exclaimed:
And the author said:
"Pradel, my dear boy, just pitch all those people into the street."
"Pradel, my dear boy, just throw all those people out into the street."
Indefatigable, he was arranging the scene:
Indefatigable, he was setting up the scene:
"A little farther, Trouville, there. Chevalier, you walk up to the table, you pick up the documents [Pg 53] one by one, and you say: 'Senatus-Consultum. Order of the day. Despatches to the departments. Proclamation,' Do you understand?"
"A bit further, Trouville, there. Chevalier, you go up to the table, pick up the documents [Pg 53] one by one, and you say: 'Senatus-Consultum. Agenda. Dispatches to the departments. Proclamation.' Do you get it?"
"Yes, Master. 'Senatus-Consultum. Order of the day. Despatches to the departments. Proclamation.'"
"Yes, Master. 'Senatus-Consultum. Agenda. Messages to the departments. Announcement.'"
"Now, Marie-Claire, my child, a little more life, confound it! Cross over! That's it! Very good. Back again! Good! Very good! Buck up! Ah, the wretched woman! She's spoiling it all!"
"Now, Marie-Claire, my child, a bit more energy, come on! Go ahead! That's it! Great. Come back! Good! Very good! Keep it up! Ah, that poor woman! She's ruining everything!"
He called the stage manager.
He called the stage manager.
"Romilly, give us a little more light, one can't see an inch. Dauville, my dear friend, what are you doing there in front of the prompter's box! You seem glued to it! Just get into your head, once for all, that you are not the statue of General Malet, that you are General Malet in person, that my play is not a catalogue of wax-work figures, but a living moving tragedy, one which brings the tears into your eyes, and——"
"Romilly, can you turn up the lights a bit? It’s so dark I can’t see anything. Dauville, my dear friend, what are you doing standing in front of the prompter’s box? You look like you’re stuck there! You need to get it into your head once and for all that you’re not a statue of General Malet; you are General Malet himself. My play isn’t just a collection of wax figures; it’s a powerful, emotional tragedy that’s supposed to bring tears to your eyes, and——"
Words failed him, and he sobbed for a long while into his handkerchief. Then he roared:
Words escaped him, and he cried for a long time into his handkerchief. Then he shouted:
"Holy thunder! Pradel! Romilly! Where is Romilly? Ah, there he is, the villain! Romilly, I told you to put the stove nearer the dormer-window. You have not done so. What are you thinking of, my friend?"
"Holy thunder! Pradel! Romilly! Where is Romilly? Ah, there he is, the villain! Romilly, I told you to move the stove closer to the dormer window. You haven't done that. What are you thinking, my friend?"
The rehearsal was suddenly brought to a standstill by a serious difficulty. Chevalier, the bearer of documents on which hung the fate of the Empire, was to escape from his prison by the dormer-window. The stage "business" had not yet been settled; it had been impossible to do so before the setting of the stage was completed. It was now discovered that the measurements had been wrongly taken, and the dormer-window was not accessible.
The rehearsal suddenly came to a halt due to a major issue. Chevalier, the one with the documents that determined the fate of the Empire, was supposed to escape from his prison through the dormer window. The stage “business” hadn’t been worked out yet; it was impossible to do that before the stage setup was finished. Now it was found that the measurements were taken incorrectly, and the dormer window was not reachable.
The author leapt on to the stage.
The author jumped onto the stage.
"Romilly, my friend, the stove is not in the place fixed on. How can you expect Chevalier to get out through the dormer-window? Push the stove to the right at once."
"Romilly, my friend, the stove isn't where it’s supposed to be. How do you expect Chevalier to get out through the dormer window? Move the stove to the right right now."
"I'm willing enough," said Romilly, "but we shall be blocking up the door."
"I'm fine with that," said Romilly, "but we'll be blocking the door."
"What's that? We shall be blocking up the door?"
"What's that? Are we going to block the door?"
"Precisely."
"Exactly."
The manager of the theatre, the stage-manager, the scene-shifters stood examining the stage-setting with gloomy attention, while the author held his peace.
The theater manager, the stage manager, and the scene shifters looked over the stage setup with serious concern, while the author remained silent.
"Don't worry, Master," said Chevalier. "There's no need to change anything. I shall be able to jump out all right."
"Don't worry, Master," Chevalier said. "There's no need to change anything. I can jump out just fine."
Climbing on to the stove, he did indeed succeed in grasping the sill of the window, and in hoisting [Pg 55] himself up until his elbows rested on it, a feat that had seemed impossible.
Climbing onto the stove, he really did manage to grab the ledge of the window and lift [Pg 55] himself up until his elbows were resting on it, something that had seemed impossible.
A murmur of admiration rose from the stage, the wings, and the house. Chevalier had produced an astonishing impression by his strength and agility.
A wave of appreciation floated up from the stage, the sides, and the audience. Chevalier had made an incredible impact with his strength and agility.
"Splendid!" exclaimed the author. "Chevalier, my friend, that is perfect. The fellow is as nimble as a monkey. I'll be hanged if any of you could do as much. If all the parts were in such good hands as that of Florentin, the play would be lauded to the skies."
"Awesome!" exclaimed the author. "Chevalier, my friend, that's perfect. The guy is as agile as a monkey. I’ll be shocked if any of you could do as much. If all the roles were in as good hands as Florentin's, the play would be praised to high heaven."
Nanteuil, in her box, almost admired him. For one brief second he had seemed to her more than man, both man and gorilla, and the fear with which he had inspired her was immeasurably increased. She did not love him; she had never loved him; she did not desire him; it was a long time since she had really wanted him; and, for some days past, she had been unable to imagine herself taking pleasure in any other than Ligny; but had she at that moment found herself alone with Chevalier she would have felt powerless, and she would have sought to appease him by her submission as one appeases a supernatural power.
Nanteuil, in her box, almost admired him. For a brief moment, he seemed to her more than just a man—part man, part gorilla—and the fear he inspired in her grew immensely. She didn’t love him; she had never loved him; she didn’t desire him; it had been a long time since she had truly wanted him; and for the past few days, she couldn’t picture herself enjoying the company of anyone other than Ligny. But if, at that moment, she had found herself alone with Chevalier, she would have felt powerless and would have tried to placate him with her submission, like one would appease a supernatural force.
On the stage, while an Empire salon was being lowered from the flies, through all the noise of the running gear and the grounding of the supports, the author held the whole of the company, as well [Pg 56] as all the supers, in the hollow of his hand, and at the same time gave them all advice, or illustrated what he wanted of them.
On stage, as an Empire salon was being lowered from above, amidst the clatter of the rigging and the settling of the supports, the author had everyone, including the entire cast and all the extras, completely captivated, while also giving them guidance or demonstrating what he needed from them. [Pg 56]
"You, the big woman, the cake-seller, Madame Ravaud, haven't you ever heard the women calling in the Champs-Élysées: 'Eat your fill, ladies! This way for a treat!' It is sung. Just learn the tune by to-morrow. And you, drummer-boy, just give me your drum; I'm going to teach you how to beat the roll, confound it! Fagette, my child, what the mischief are you doing at a ball given by the Minister of Police, if you haven't any stockings with golden clocks? Take off those knitted woollen stockings immediately. This is the very last play that I shall produce in this theatre. Where is the colonel of the 10th cohort? So it's you? Well then, my friend, your soldiers march past like so many pigs. Madame Marie-Claire, come forward a little, so that I may teach you how to curtsy."
"You, the tall woman, the cake seller, Madame Ravaud, haven't you ever heard the women calling out on the Champs-Élysées: 'Eat up, ladies! This way for a treat!' It's sung. Just learn the tune by tomorrow. And you, drummer boy, just hand me your drum; I'm going to show you how to beat the roll, for heaven's sake! Fagette, my dear, what on earth are you doing at a ball thrown by the Minister of Police without any stockings with golden clocks? Take off those knitted woolen stockings right now. This is the very last show that I'll stage in this theater. Where is the colonel of the 10th cohort? Oh, it's you? Well then, my friend, your soldiers march by like a herd of pigs. Madame Marie-Claire, step forward a bit so I can teach you how to curtsy."
He had a hundred eyes, a hundred mouths, and arms and legs everywhere.
He had a hundred eyes, a hundred mouths, and limbs all over.
In the house, Romilly was shaking hands with Monsieur Gombaut, of the Academy of Moral Sciences, who had dropped in as a neighbour.
In the house, Romilly was shaking hands with Monsieur Gombaut from the Academy of Moral Sciences, who had stopped by as a neighbor.
"You may say what you will, Monsieur Gombaut, it is perhaps not accurate as far as facts are concerned, but it's drama."
"You can say whatever you want, Monsieur Gombaut, it might not be accurate when it comes to the facts, but it’s dramatic."
"Malet's conspiracy," replied Monsieur Gombaut, [Pg 57] "remains, and will doubtless remain for a long time to come, an historical enigma. The author of this drama has taken advantage of those points which are obscure in order to introduce dramatic elements. But what, to my thinking, is beyond a doubt, is that General Malet, although associated with Royalists, was himself a Republican, and was working for the re-establishment of popular Government. In the course of his examination during the trial, he pronounced a sublime and profound utterance. When the presiding judge of the court-martial asked him: 'Who were your accomplices?' Malet replied: 'All France, and you yourself, had I succeeded.'"
"Malet's conspiracy," replied Monsieur Gombaut, [Pg 57] "remains, and will probably remain for a long time, an historical mystery. The author of this story has used those unclear aspects to create dramatic elements. But what is undeniably true, in my opinion, is that General Malet, although connected with Royalists, was actually a Republican and was working toward the restoration of popular government. During his trial, he made a powerful and profound statement. When the presiding judge of the court-martial asked him: 'Who were your accomplices?' Malet replied: 'All of France, and you yourself, if I had succeeded.'"
Leaning on the edge of Nanteuil's box, an aged sculptor, as venerable and as handsome as an ancient satyr, was gazing with glistening eye and smiling lips at the stage, which at that moment was in a state of commotion and confusion.
Leaning on the edge of Nanteuil's box, an older sculptor, both distinguished and attractive like an ancient satyr, was watching the stage with bright eyes and a smile, which was currently in chaos and disarray.
"Are you pleased with the play, Master?" Nanteuil asked him.
"Are you happy with the play, Master?" Nanteuil asked him.
And the Master, who had no eyes for anything but bones, tendons and muscles, replied:
And the Master, who only focused on bones, tendons, and muscles, replied:
"Yes, indeed, mademoiselle; yes, indeed! I see over there a little creature, little Midi, whose shoulder attachment is a jewel."
"Yes, definitely, mademoiselle; yes, definitely! I see over there a little being, a little Midi, whose shoulder decoration is a gem."
He outlined it with his thumb. Tears welled up into his eyes.
He traced it with his thumb. Tears filled his eyes.
Chevalier asked if he might enter the box. He was happy, less on account of his prodigious success than at seeing Félicie. He dreamed, in his infatuation, that she had come for his sake, that she loved him, that she was returning to him.
Chevalier asked if he could enter the box. He was happy, not so much because of his amazing success but because he saw Félicie. In his infatuation, he dreamed that she had come for him, that she loved him, that she was coming back to him.
She feared him, and, as she was timid, she flattered him.
She was afraid of him, and since she was shy, she complimented him.
"I congratulate you, Chevalier. You were simply astounding. Your exit is a marvel. You can take my word for it. I am not the only one to say so. Fagette thought you were wonderful."
"I congratulate you, Chevalier. You were absolutely amazing. Your exit is a spectacle. You can trust me on this. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Fagette found you fantastic."
"Really?" asked Chevalier.
"Seriously?" asked Chevalier.
It was one of the happiest moments of his life.
It was one of the happiest moments of his life.
A shrieking voice issued from the deserted heights of the third galleries, sounding through the house like the whistle of a locomotive.
A screaming voice echoed from the empty heights of the third galleries, ringing through the house like the whistle of a train.
"One can't hear a word you say, my children; speak louder and pronounce your words distinctly!"
"Nobody can hear what you're saying, kids; speak up and say your words clearly!"
The author appeared, infinitely small, in the shadow of the dome.
The author appeared, tiny, in the shadow of the dome.
Thereupon the utterance of the players who were collected at the front of the stage, around a naphtha flare, rose more distinctly:
Thereupon, the voices of the players gathered at the front of the stage, around a naphtha flare, became clearer:
"The Emperor will allow the troops to rest for some weeks at Moscow; then with the rapidity of an eagle he will swoop down upon St. Petersburg."
"The Emperor will let the troops rest for a few weeks in Moscow; then, like an eagle, he will swiftly attack St. Petersburg."
"Spades, clubs, trump, two points to me."
"Spades, clubs, trump, two points for me."
"There we shall spend the winter, and next [Pg 59] spring we shall penetrate into India, crossing Persia, and the British power will be a thing of the past."
"There we will spend the winter, and next [Pg 59] spring we will make our way into India, crossing Persia, and the British power will be a thing of the past."
"Thirty-six in diamonds."
"36 in diamonds."
"And I the four aces."
"And I have the four aces."
"By the way, gentlemen, what say you to the Imperial decree concerning the actors of Paris, dated from the Kremlin? There's an end of the squabbles between Mademoiselle Mars and Mademoiselle Leverd."
"By the way, guys, what do you think about the Imperial decree regarding the actors in Paris, issued from the Kremlin? That puts an end to the fights between Mademoiselle Mars and Mademoiselle Leverd."
"Do look at Fagette," said Nanteuil. "She is charming in that blue Marie-Louise dress trimmed with chinchilla."
"Look at Fagette," Nanteuil said. "She looks amazing in that blue Marie-Louise dress with chinchilla trim."
Madame Doulce brought out from under her furs a stack of tickets already soiled through having been too frequently offered.
Madame Doulce pulled out from under her furs a stack of tickets that were already dirty from being handed out too many times.
"Master," she said, addressing Constantin Marc, "you know that next Sunday I am to give a reading, with appropriate remarks, of the best letters of Madame de Sévigné, for the benefit of the three poor orphans left by Lacour, the actors who died this winter in so deplorable a fashion."
"Master," she said, directing her words at Constantin Marc, "you know that next Sunday I'm supposed to give a reading, along with some comments, of the best letters by Madame de Sévigné, to support the three poor orphans left by Lacour, the actor who passed away this winter in such a tragic way."
"Had he any talent?" asked Constantin Marc.
"Did he have any talent?" asked Constantin Marc.
"None whatever," said Nanteuil.
"None at all," said Nanteuil.
"Well, then, in what way is his death deplorable?"
"Well, then, how is his death tragic?"
"Oh, Master," sighed Madame Doulce, "do not pretend to be unfeeling."
"Oh, Master," sighed Madame Doulce, "don’t act like you don’t care."
"I am not pretending to be unfeeling. But here is something that surprises me: the value which we set upon the lives of those who are not of the slightest interest to us. We seem as though we believe that life is in itself something precious. Yet nature teaches us plainly enough that nothing is more worthless and contemptible. In former days people were less besmeared with sentimentalism. Each of us held his own life to be infinitely precious, but he did not profess any respect whatever for the life of others. We were nearer to nature in those days. We were created to devour one another. But our debilitated, enervated, hypocritical race wallows in a sly cannibalism. While we are gulping one another down we declare that life is sacred, and we no longer dare to confess that life is murder."
"I’m not pretending to be heartless. But there’s something that surprises me: the value we assign to the lives of people who don’t interest us at all. It’s like we believe that life is inherently valuable. Yet, nature clearly shows us that nothing is more worthless and contemptible. In the past, people were less caught up in sentimentality. Each of us considered our own life to be incredibly valuable, but we didn’t show any respect for the lives of others. We were more in tune with nature back then. We were meant to consume one another. But our weakened, soft, hypocritical society engages in a sneaky form of cannibalism. While we’re devouring each other, we claim that life is sacred, and we no longer dare to admit that life can be murder."
"That life is murder," echoed Chevalier dreamily, without grasping the meaning of the words.
"Life is brutal," echoed Chevalier dreamily, not fully understanding what the words meant.
Then he poured forth a string of nebulous ideas:
Then he shared a bunch of unclear ideas:
"Murder and bloodshed, that may be! But amusing bloodshed, and comical murder. Life is a burlesque catastrophe, a terrible comedy, the mask of carnival over blood-stained cheeks. That is what life means to the artist; the artist on the stage, and the artist in action."
"Murder and bloodshed, sure! But entertaining bloodshed and funny murder. Life is a ridiculous disaster, a dark comedy, a carnival mask over blood-stained faces. That's what life means to the artist; the artist on stage and the artist in action."
Nanteuil uneasily sought a meaning in these confused phrases.
Nanteuil uneasily searched for a meaning in these jumbled phrases.
The actor continued excitedly:
The actor continued enthusiastically:
"Life is yet another thing: it is the flower and the knife, it is to see red one day and blue the next, it is hatred and love, ravishing, delightful hatred, cruel love."
"Life is something else entirely: it’s the flower and the knife, it’s seeing red one day and blue the next, it’s hatred and love, exciting, delightful hatred, cruel love."
"Monsieur Chevalier," asked Constantin Marc in the quietest of tones, "does it not seem to you natural to be a murderer, and do you not think that it is merely the fear of being killed that prevents us from killing?"
"Monsieur Chevalier," asked Constantin Marc in the softest voice, "doesn’t it seem natural to you to be a murderer, and don’t you think that it’s just the fear of being killed that stops us from killing?"
Chevalier replied in deep, pensive tones:
Chevalier replied in a thoughtful, serious tone:
"Most certainly not! It would not be the fear of being killed that would prevent me from killing. I have no fear of death. But I feel a respect for the life of others. I am humane in spite of myself. I have for some time past been seriously considering the question which you have just asked me, Monsieur Constantin Marc. I have pondered over it day and night, and I know now that I could not kill any one.'"
"Definitely not! It's not the fear of being killed that stops me from killing. I'm not afraid of death. But I do respect the lives of others. I have a sense of empathy despite myself. For a while now, I've been seriously thinking about the question you just asked me, Monsieur Constantin Marc. I've thought about it day and night, and I've realized that I could never take anyone's life."
At this, Nanteuil, filled with joy, cast upon him a look of contempt. She feared him no longer, and she could not forgive him for having alarmed her.
At this, Nanteuil, filled with joy, gave him a look of disdain. She no longer feared him, and she couldn’t forgive him for having scared her.
She rose.
She stood up.
"Good evening; I have a headache. Good-bye till to-morrow, Monsieur Constantin Marc." And she went out briskly.
"Good evening; I have a headache. Goodbye until tomorrow, Monsieur Constantin Marc." And she left quickly.
Chevalier ran after her down the corridor, descended the stage staircase behind her, and rejoined her by the stage doorkeeper's box.
Chevalier chased after her down the hallway, went down the stairs behind her, and caught up with her at the stage doorkeeper's box.
"Félicie, come and dine with me to-night at our cabaret. I should be so glad if you would! Will you?"
"Félicie, come have dinner with me tonight at our cabaret. I’d be so happy if you would! Will you?"
"Good gracious, no!"
"Oh my gosh, no!"
"Why won't you?"
"Why won't you?"
"Leave me alone; you are bothering me!"
"Just leave me alone; you're bothering me!"
She tried to escape. He detained her.
She tried to get away. He held her back.
"I love you so! Don't be too cruel to me!"
"I love you so much! Please don't be too harsh on me!"
Taking a step towards him, her lips curling back from her clenched teeth, she hissed into his ear:
Taking a step toward him, her lips curling back from her gritted teeth, she whispered into his ear:
"It's all over, over, over! You hear me? I am fed up with you."
"It's all done, done, done! Do you hear me? I'm done with you."
Then, very gently and solemnly, he said:
Then, very gently and seriously, he said:
"It is the last time that we two shall speak together. Listen, Félicie, before there is a tragedy I ought to warn you. I cannot compel you to love me. But I do not intend that you shall love another. For the last time I advise you not to see Monsieur de Ligny again, I shall prevent your belonging to him."
"It’s the last time we’ll talk like this. Listen, Félicie, before something terrible happens, I need to warn you. I can’t make you love me. But I won’t let you love someone else. This is my final advice: don’t see Monsieur de Ligny again, or I’ll make sure you can’t be with him."
"You will prevent me? You? My poor dear fellow!"
"You think you can stop me? You? My poor friend!"
In a still more gentle tone he replied:
In an even softer tone, he replied:
"I mean it; I shall do it. A man can get what he wants; only he must pay the price."
"I mean it; I will do it. A person can get what they want; they just have to pay the price."
CHAPTER V
eturning home, Félicie succumbed to a fit of tears. She saw Chevalier
once more imploring her in a despairing voice with the look of a poor
man. She had heard that voice and seen that expression when passing
tramps, worn out with fatigue, on the high road, when her mother fearing
that her lungs were affected, had taken her to spend the winter at
Antibes with a wealthy aunt. She despised Chevalier for his gentleness
and tranquil manner. But the recollection of that face and that voice
disturbed her. She could not eat, she felt as if she were suffocating.
In the evening she was attacked by such an excruciating internal pain
that she thought she must be dying. She thought this feeling of
prostration was due to the fact that it was two days since she had seen
Robert. It was only nine o'clock. She hoped that she might find him
still at home, and put on her hat.
Returning home, Félicie broke down in tears. She imagined Chevalier again, begging her with a desperate voice and the look of a destitute man. She had heard that voice and seen that expression when passing tired drifters on the road, when her mother, worried about her lungs, had taken her to spend the winter at Antibes with a rich aunt. She looked down on Chevalier for his kindness and calm demeanor. But remembering that face and that voice troubled her. She couldn’t eat and felt like she was suffocating. In the evening, she was hit by such excruciating abdominal pain that she thought she might be dying. She believed this overwhelming feeling was because it had been two days since she had seen Robert. It was only nine o'clock. She hoped to find him still at home, so she put on her hat.
"Mamma, I have to go to the theatre this evening. I am off."
"Mom, I have to go to the theater this evening. I'm leaving."
Out of consideration for her mother, she was in the habit of making such veiled explanations.
Out of respect for her mother, she often gave vague explanations.
"Go, my child, but don't come home too late."
"Go ahead, my child, but don’t stay out too late."
Ligny lived with his parents. He had, on the top floor of the charming house in the Rue Vernet, a small bachelor flat, lit by round windows, which he called his "oeil-de-boeuf." Félicie sent word by the hall-porter that a lady was waiting for him in a carriage. Ligny did not care for women to look him up too often in the bosom of his family. His father, who was in the diplomatic service, and deeply engrossed in the foreign interests of the country, remained in an incredible state of ignorance as to what went on in his own house. But Madame de Ligny was determined that the decencies of life should be observed in her home, and her son was careful to satisfy her requirements in the matter of outward appearances, since they never probed to the bottom of things. She left him perfectly free to love where he would, and only rarely, in serious and expansive moments, did she hint that it was to the advantage of young men to cultivate the acquaintance of women of their own class. Hence it was that Robert had always dissuaded Félicie from coming to him in the Rue Vernet. He had rented, in the Boulevard de Villiers, a small house, where they could meet in absolute freedom. But on the present occasion, after two days without [Pg 65] seeing her, he was greatly pleased by her unexpected visit, and he came down immediately.
Ligny lived with his parents. On the top floor of their charming house on Rue Vernet, he had a small bachelor apartment with round windows, which he called his "oeil-de-boeuf." Félicie sent a message through the hall-porter that a lady was waiting for him in a carriage. Ligny didn’t like women visiting him too often while he was with his family. His father, who worked in diplomacy, was completely unaware of what happened in his own home. However, Madame de Ligny was adamant about maintaining modesty in their household, and her son made sure to meet her expectations regarding appearances, as they never really examined the deeper issues. She allowed him the freedom to love whomever he wished, and only on rare occasions, during serious and open conversations, would she suggest that it was beneficial for young men to befriend women of their own social class. Because of this, Robert always encouraged Félicie not to visit him on Rue Vernet. Instead, he rented a small house on Boulevard de Villiers, where they could meet freely. But today, after not seeing her for two days, he was really pleased by her unexpected visit, and he went downstairs right away.
Leaning back in the cab, they drove through the darkness and the snow, at the quiet pace of their aged hack, through the streets and boulevards, while the darkness of the night cloaked their love-making.
Leaning back in the cab, they drove through the darkness and the snow, at the slow pace of their old taxi, through the streets and boulevards, while the night’s darkness covered their romance.
At her door, having seen her home, he said:
At her door, after seeing her place, he said:
"Good-bye till to-morrow."
"Goodbye until tomorrow."
"Yes, to-morrow, Boulevard de Villiers. Come early."
"Yes, tomorrow, Boulevard de Villiers. Come early."
She was leaning on him preparatory to stepping down from the cab. Suddenly she started back.
She was leaning on him, getting ready to step down from the cab. Suddenly, she pulled back.
"There! There! Among the trees. He has seen us. He was watching us."
"There! There! Over by the trees. He saw us. He was watching us."
"Who, then?"
"Who is it, then?"
"A man—some one I don't know."
"A guy—someone I don't know."
She had just recognized Chevalier. She stepped out, rang the bell, and, nestling in Robert's fur coat, waited, trembling, for the door to open. When it was opened, she detained him.
She had just recognized Chevalier. She stepped out, rang the bell, and, wrapped in Robert's fur coat, waited, shaking, for the door to open. When it finally opened, she stopped him.
"Robert, see me upstairs, I am frightened."
"Robert, come up; I’m scared."
Not without some impatience, he followed her up the stairs.
Not without a bit of impatience, he followed her up the stairs.
Chevalier had waited for Félicie, in the little dining-room, before the armour which she had worn as Jeanne d'Arc, together with Madame Nanteuil, [Pg 66] until one o'clock in the morning. He had left at that hour, and had watched for her on the pavement, and on seeing the cab stop in front of the door he had concealed himself behind a tree. He knew very well that she would return with Ligny; but when he saw them together it was as if the earth had yawned beneath him, and, so that he should not fall to the ground, he had clutched the trunk of the tree. He remained until Ligny had emerged from the house; he watched him as, wrapped in his fur coat, he got into the cab, took a couple of steps as if to spring on him, stopped short, and then with long strides went down the boulevard.
Chevalier had waited for Félicie in the small dining room, standing before the armor she had worn as Joan of Arc, along with Madame Nanteuil, [Pg 66] until one o'clock in the morning. At that hour, he left and stood on the pavement, hiding behind a tree when he saw the cab stop in front of the door. He knew she would come back with Ligny; however, seeing them together felt like the ground had opened up beneath him, and to keep from falling, he grabbed the trunk of the tree. He stayed there until Ligny came out of the house, observing him as he wrapped his fur coat around himself, got into the cab, took a couple of steps as if he would confront him, then stopped short and walked down the boulevard with long strides.
He went his way, driven by the rain and wind. Feeling too hot, he doffed his felt hat, and derived a certain pleasure from the sense of the icy drops of water on his forehead. He was vaguely conscious that houses, trees, walls, and lights went past him indefinitely; he wandered on, dreaming.
He walked on, pushed by the rain and wind. Feeling too warm, he took off his felt hat and found some comfort in the icy drops of water on his forehead. He was somewhat aware that houses, trees, walls, and lights blurred by him endlessly; he continued on, lost in thought.
He found himself, without knowing how he had got there, on a bridge which he hardly knew. Half-way across it stood the colossal statue of a woman. His mind was now at rest; he had formed a resolution. It was an old idea, which he had now driven into his brain like a nail, which pierced it through and through. He no longer examined it. He calculated coldly the means of carrying out the [Pg 67] thing he had determined to do. He walked straight ahead at random, absorbed in thought, and as calm as a mathematician.
He found himself, without knowing how he got there, on a bridge he hardly recognized. Halfway across stood a huge statue of a woman. His mind was finally at ease; he had made a decision. It was an old idea, which he had now hammered into his brain like a nail, piercing it completely. He no longer questioned it. He coldly calculated the means to accomplish the [Pg 67] thing he had decided to do. He walked straight ahead at random, lost in thought, and as calm as a mathematician.
On the Pont des Arts he became aware that a dog was following him. He was a big, long-haired farm dog, with eyes of different colours, which were full of gentleness, and an expression of infinite distress. Chevalier spoke to him:
On the Pont des Arts, he noticed a dog following him. It was a big, long-haired farm dog, with eyes of different colors that were full of gentleness and an expression of endless sorrow. Chevalier spoke to him:
"You've no collar. You are not happy. Poor fellow, I can't do anything for you."
"You don't have a collar. You aren't happy. Poor guy, I can't help you."
By four o'clock in the morning he found himself in the Avenue de l'Observatoire. On seeing the houses of the Boulevard Saint-Michel he experienced a painful impression and abruptly turned back toward the Observatory. The dog had vanished. Near the monument of the Lion of Belfort, Chevalier stopped in front of a deep trench which cut the road in two. Against the bank of excavated earth, under a tarpaulin supported by four stakes, an old man was keeping vigil before a brazier. The lappets of his rabbit-skin cap were down over his ears; his huge nose was a flaming red. He raised his head; his eyes, which were watering, seemed wholly white, without pupils, each set in a ring of fire and tears. He was stuffing into the bowl of his cutty a few scraps of canteen tobacco, mixed with bread-crumbs, which did not fill half the bowl of his little pipe.
By four in the morning, he found himself on the Avenue de l'Observatoire. Seeing the houses on Boulevard Saint-Michel hit him hard, and he suddenly turned back toward the Observatory. The dog was gone. Near the Lion of Belfort monument, Chevalier paused in front of a deep trench that split the road in two. Against the dirt bank, under a tarp held up by four stakes, an old man was keeping watch by a fire. The flaps of his rabbit-skin cap were down over his ears; his big nose was bright red. He raised his head; his watery eyes looked entirely white, without pupils, each surrounded by a ring of fire and tears. He was stuffing a few scraps of canteen tobacco mixed with bread crumbs into the bowl of his pipe, which only filled half of it.
"Will you have some tobacco, old fellow?" asked Chevalier, offering him his pouch.
"Do you want some tobacco, my friend?" asked Chevalier, holding out his pouch.
The man's answer was slow in coming. His understanding was not quick, and courtesies astonished him. Finally, he opened a mouth which was quite black, and said:
The man's response took a while. He wasn't very quick to understand, and he seemed surprised by polite gestures. Eventually, he opened his mouth, which was quite dark, and said:
"I won't say no to that."
"I'm down for that."
He half rose from his seat. One of his feet was shod in an old slipper; the other was swathed in rags. Slowly, with hands numb with the cold, he stuffed his pipe. It was snowing, a snow that melted as it fell.
He partly stood up from his chair. One of his feet was in an old slipper; the other was wrapped in rags. Slowly, with hands frozen from the cold, he filled his pipe. It was snowing, and the snow melted as it hit the ground.
"You will excuse me?" said Chevalier, and he slipped under the tarpaulin and seated himself beside the old man.
"You don’t mind if I join you?" said Chevalier as he ducked under the tarpaulin and sat down next to the old man.
From time to time they exchanged a remark.
From time to time, they would share a comment.
"Rotten weather!"
"Terrible weather!"
"It's what we expect at this season. Winter's hard; summer's better."
"It's what we expect this time of year. Winter is tough; summer is nicer."
"So you look after the job at night, old fellow?"
"So you take care of the job at night, buddy?"
The old man answered readily when questioned. Before he spoke his throat emitted a long, very gentle murmur.
The old man answered quickly when asked. Before he spoke, his throat let out a soft, gentle sound.
"I do one thing one day; another thing another. Odd jobs. See?"
"I do one thing one day and something different the next. Just random tasks, you know?"
"You are not a Parisian?"
"You're not a Parisian?"
"No, I was born in La Creuse. I used to [Pg 69] work as a navvy in the Vosges. I left there the year the Prussians and other foreigners came. There were thousands of them. Can't understand where they all came from. Maybe you've heard of the war of the Prussians, young man?"
"No, I was born in La Creuse. I used to [Pg 69] work as a laborer in the Vosges. I left that year when the Prussians and other foreigners came. There were thousands of them. I don’t understand where they all came from. Maybe you've heard about the Prussian War, young man?"
He remained silent for a long spell and then resumed:
He stayed quiet for a while and then continued:
"So you are out on a spree, my lad. You don't feel like going back to the works yet?"
"So you're out having a good time, buddy. Don't you feel like heading back to work yet?"
"I am an actor," replied Chevalier.
"I'm an actor," Chevalier replied.
The old man who did not understand, inquired:
The old man who didn’t understand asked:
"Where is it, your works?"
"Where are your works?"
Chevalier was anxious to rouse the old man's admiration.
Chevalier was eager to win the old man's admiration.
"I play comedy parts in a big theatre," he said. "I am one of the principal actors at the Odéon. You know the Odéon?"
"I play comedy roles in a large theater," he said. "I'm one of the main actors at the Odéon. You know the Odéon?"
The watchman shook his head. No, he did not know the Odéon. After a prolonged silence, he once more opened the black cavern of his mouth:
The watchman shook his head. No, he didn’t know the Odéon. After a long silence, he opened his mouth again:
"And so, young man, you are on the loose. You don't want to go back to the works, eh?"
"And so, young man, you're free now. You don't want to return to the grind, huh?"
Chevalier replied:
Chevalier responded:
"Read the paper the day after to-morrow, you will see my name in it."
"Read the paper the day after tomorrow, and you'll see my name in it."
The old man tried to discover a meaning in these words, but it was too difficult; he gave it up, and reverted to his familiar train of thought.
The old man tried to find meaning in these words, but it was too hard; he gave up and returned to his usual line of thought.
"When once one's off on the loose, it is sometimes for weeks and months."
"When someone hits the road, it can sometimes be for weeks or even months."
At daybreak, Chevalier resumed his wanderings. The sky was milky. Heavy wheels were breaking the silence of the paved roads. Voices, here and there, rang through the keen air. The snow was no longer falling. He walked on at haphazard. The spectacle of the city's reviving life made him feel almost cheerful. On the Pont des Arts he stood for a long time watching the Seine flow by, after which he continued on his way. On the Place du Havre he saw an open café. A faint streak of dawn was reddening the front windows. The waiters were sanding the brick pavement and setting out the tables. He flung himself into a chair.
At daybreak, Chevalier started wandering again. The sky was a milky color. Heavy wheels were breaking the silence of the paved roads. Voices, here and there, echoed in the crisp air. The snow had stopped falling. He walked on aimlessly. The sight of the city's awakening life made him feel almost cheerful. On the Pont des Arts, he stood for a long time watching the Seine flow by before continuing on his way. In the Place du Havre, he spotted an open café. A faint hint of dawn was reddening the front windows. The waiters were sanding the brick pavement and setting up the tables. He threw himself into a chair.
"Waiter, an absinthe."
"Waiter, an absinthe please."
CHAPTER VI
n the cab, beyond the fortifications, which were skirted by the
deserted boulevard, Félicie and Robert held one another in a close
embrace.
In the cab, past the fortifications that bordered the empty boulevard, Félicie and Robert held each other tightly in an embrace.
"Don't you love your own Félicie? Tell me! Doesn't it flatter your vanity to possess a little woman who makes people cheer and clap her, who is written about in the newspapers? Mamma pastes all my notices in her album. The album is full already."
"Don't you love your own Félicie? Tell me! Doesn’t it boost your ego to have a little woman who gets people to cheer and clap for her, who’s written about in the newspapers? Mom saves all my reviews in her scrapbook. The scrapbook is already full."
He replied that he had not waited for her to succeed before discovering how charming she was; and, in fact, their liaison had begun when she was making an obscure first appearance at the Odéon in a revival which had fallen flat.
He responded that he hadn’t waited for her to be successful before realizing how charming she was; in fact, their relationship had started when she was making a low-key first appearance at the Odéon in a revival that had flopped.
"When you told me that you wanted me, I didn't keep you waiting, did I? We didn't take long about that! Wasn't I right? You are too sensible to think badly of me because I didn't keep things dragging along. When I saw you for the first time I felt that I was to be yours, so it wasn't worth while delaying. I don't regret it. Do you?"
"When you told me that you wanted me, I didn't make you wait, did I? We didn't take long with that! Wasn't I right? You're too sensible to think badly of me for not dragging things out. When I saw you for the first time, I felt that I was meant to be yours, so it wasn't worth delaying. I don't regret it. Do you?"
The cab stopped at a short distance from the fortifications, in front of a garden railing.
The cab stopped a short distance from the fortifications, in front of a garden fence.
This railing, which had not been painted for a long time, stood on a wall faced with pebbles, low and broad enough to permit of children perching themselves on it. It was screened half-way up by a sheet of iron with a toothed edge, and its rusty spikes did not rise more than ten feet above the ground. In the centre, between two pillars of masonry surmounted by cast-iron vases, the railing formed a gate opening in the middle, filled in across its lower part, and furnished, on the inside, with worm-eaten slatted shutters.
This railing, which hadn't been painted in ages, stood on a wall covered with pebbles, low and wide enough for kids to sit on it. It was covered halfway up by a sheet of iron with a jagged edge, and its rusty spikes didn’t rise more than ten feet above the ground. In the center, between two stone pillars topped with cast-iron vases, the railing created a gate that opened in the middle, filled in at the bottom, and had worm-eaten slatted shutters on the inside.
They alighted from the cab. The trees of the boulevard, in four straight lines, lifted their frail skeletons in the fog. They heard, through the wide silence, the diminishing rattle of their cab, on its way back to the barrier, and the trotting of a horse coming from Paris.
They got out of the cab. The trees lining the boulevard stood in four neat rows, their thin branches reaching up into the fog. Through the deep silence, they heard the fading rattle of their cab returning to the terminal and the sound of a horse trotting in from Paris.
"How dismal the country is!" she said, with a shiver.
"How bleak the country is!" she said, with a shiver.
"But, my darling, the Boulevard de Villiers is not the country."
"But, my darling, the Boulevard de Villiers is not the countryside."
He could not open the gate, and the lock creaked. Irritated by the sound, she said:
He couldn't open the gate, and the lock squeaked. Annoyed by the noise, she said:
"Open it, do: the noise is getting on my nerves."
"Go ahead and open it; the noise is driving me crazy."
She noticed that the cab which had come from [Pg 73] Paris had stopped near their house, at about the tenth tree from where she stood; she looked at the thin, steaming horse and the shabby driver, and asked:
She noticed that the cab that had come from [Pg 73] Paris had stopped near their house, around the tenth tree from where she was standing; she looked at the skinny, steaming horse and the worn-out driver, and asked:
"What is that carriage?"
"What is that vehicle?"
"It's a cab, my pet."
"It's an Uber, my pet."
"Why does it stop here?"
"Why does it end here?"
"It has not stopped here? It's stopping in front of the next house."
"It hasn’t stopped here? It’s stopping in front of the next house."
"There is no next house; there's only a vacant lot."
"There’s no next house; there’s just an empty lot."
"Well, then, it has stopped in front of a vacant lot. What more can I tell you?"
"Well, it has stopped in front of an empty lot. What else do you want me to say?"
"I don't see anyone getting out of it."
"I don't see anyone getting out of this."
"The driver is perhaps waiting for a fare."
"The driver is probably waiting for a ride."
"What, in front of a vacant lot!"
"What, in front of an empty lot!"
"Probably, my dear. This lock has got rusty."
"Probably, my dear. This lock has become rusty."
She crept along, hiding herself behind the trees, toward the spot where the cab had stopped, and then returned to Ligny, who had succeeded in unlocking the gate.
She quietly made her way, hiding behind the trees, toward the place where the cab had stopped, and then went back to Ligny, who had managed to unlock the gate.
"Robert, the blinds of the cab are down."
"Robert, the taxi's blinds are down."
"Well, then, there's a loving couple inside."
"Well, then, there's a couple in love inside."
"Don't you think there's something queer about that cab?"
"Don't you think there's something strange about that cab?"
"It is not a thing of beauty, but all cabs are ugly. Come in."
"It’s not pretty, but all cabs are ugly. Come in."
"Isn't somebody following us?"
"Is someone following us?"
"Whom do you expect to follow us?"
"Who do you expect to follow us?"
"I don't know. One of your women friends."
"I don't know. One of your female friends."
But she was not saying what was in her thoughts.
But she wasn't sharing what was on her mind.
"Do come in, my darling."
"Come in, my darling."
When she had entered the garden she said:
When she entered the garden, she said:
"Be sure to close the gate properly, Robert."
"Make sure to close the gate properly, Robert."
Before them stretched a small oval grass-plot.
Before them was a small oval patch of grass.
Behind it stood the house, with its flight of three steps, sheltered by a zinc portico, its six windows, and its slate roof.
Behind it stood the house, with its three-step entrance, covered by a metal awning, its six windows, and its slate roof.
Ligny had rented it for a year from an old merchant's clerk, who had wearied of it because nocturnal prowlers used to steal his fowls and rabbits. On either side of the grass-plot a gravel path led to the steps. They took the path on the right. The gravel creaked beneath their feet.
Ligny had rented it for a year from an old merchant's clerk, who had grown tired of it because nighttime thieves often stole his chickens and rabbits. On both sides of the grassy area, a gravel path led to the steps. They took the path to the right. The gravel crunched under their feet.
"Madame Simonneau has forgotten to close the shutters again," said Ligny.
"Madame Simonneau forgot to close the shutters again," said Ligny.
Madame Simonneau was a woman from Neuilly, who came every morning to clean up.
Madame Simonneau was a woman from Neuilly who came every morning to clean.
A large Judas-tree, leaning to one side, and to all appearance dead, stretched one of its round black branches as far as the portico.
A large Judas tree, leaning to one side and looking completely dead, extended one of its round black branches right up to the portico.
"I don't quite like that tree," said Félicie; "its branches are like great snakes. One of them goes almost into our room."
"I really don't like that tree," Félicie said. "Its branches are like big snakes. One of them almost reaches into our room."
They went up the three front steps; and, while he was looking through his bunch of keys for the [Pg 75] key of the front door, she rested her head on his shoulder.
They walked up the three front steps, and while he was searching through his bunch of keys for the [Pg 75] key to the front door, she rested her head on his shoulder.
Félicie, when unveiling her beauty, displayed a serene pride which made her adorable. She revealed such a quiet satisfaction in her nudity that her chemise, when it fell to her feet, made the onlooker think of a white peacock.
Félicie, when revealing her beauty, showed a calm confidence that made her charming. She expressed such a subtle contentment in her nudity that when her chemise fell to her feet, it reminded the observer of a white peacock.
And when Robert saw her in her nakedness, bright as the streams or stars, he said:
And when Robert saw her bare, shining like the streams or stars, he said:
"At least you don't make one badger you! Its curious: there are women, who, even if you don't ask them for anything, surrender themselves completely, go just as far as it's possible to go, yet all the time they won't let you see so much as a finger-breadth of skin."
"At least you don’t have to deal with someone who badgers you! It's interesting: there are women who, even if you don’t ask them for anything, give themselves completely, go as far as they can, yet all the while they won’t let you see even a hint of skin."
"Why?" asked Félicie, playing with the airy threads of her hair.
"Why?" asked Félicie, twirling the light strands of her hair.
Robert de Ligny had experience of women. Yet he did not realize what an insidious question this was. He had received some training in moral science, and in replying he derived inspiration from the professors whose classes he had attended.
Robert de Ligny had experience with women. Yet he didn’t realize how sneaky this question was. He had received some training in ethics, and in responding, he drew inspiration from the professors whose classes he had taken.
"It is doubtless a matter of training, religious principles, and an innate feeling which survives even when——"
"It’s definitely a combination of training, belief systems, and a natural instinct that persists even when——"
This was not at all what he ought to have replied, for Félicie, shrugging her shoulders, and [Pg 76] placing her hands upon her smoothly polished hips, interrupted him sharply:
This was not at all what he should have said, because Félicie, shrugging her shoulders and [Pg 76] putting her hands on her perfectly polished hips, cut him off sharply:
"Well, you are simple! It's because they've got bad figures! Training! Religion! It makes me boil to hear such rubbish! Have I been brought up any worse than other women? Have I less religion than they have? Tell me, Robert, how many really well-made women have you ever seen? Just reckon them up on your fingers. Yes, there are heaps of women who won't show their shoulders or anything. Take Fagette; she won't let even women see her undress; when she puts a clean chemise on she holds the old one between her teeth. Sure enough, I should do the same if I were built as she is!"
"Well, you're really naive! It's because they have bad bodies! Training! Religion! It makes me furious to hear such nonsense! Have I been raised any worse than other women? Do I have less faith than they do? Tell me, Robert, how many truly well-made women have you ever seen? Just count them on your fingers. Yes, there are plenty of women who won't show their shoulders or anything. Take Fagette; she won't even let other women see her get undressed; when she puts on a clean shirt, she holds the old one between her teeth. Honestly, I'd do the same if I looked like she does!"
She relapsed into silence, and, with quiet arrogance, slowly ran the palms of her hands over her sides and her loins, observing proudly:
She fell silent again, and, with a quiet confidence, slowly ran her hands over her sides and her hips, proudly noting:
"And the best of it is that there's not too much of me anywhere."
"And the best part is that I’m not too much of a presence anywhere."
She was conscious of the charm imparted to her beauty by the graceful slenderness of her outlines.
She was aware of the charm that her graceful, slim figure added to her beauty.
Now her head, thrown back on the pillow, was bathed in the masses of her golden tresses, which lay streaming in all directions; her slender body, slightly raised by a pillow slipped beneath her loins, lay motionless at full length; one gleaming leg was extended along the edge of the bed, ending in a [Pg 77] sharply chiselled foot like the point of a sword. The light from the great fire which had been lit in the fireplace gilded her flesh, casting palpitating lights and shadows over her motionless body, clothing it in mystery and splendour, while her outer clothing and her underlinen, lying on the chairs and the carpet, waited, like a docile flock.
Now her head, tilted back on the pillow, was surrounded by her golden hair, which flowed in every direction; her slim body, slightly elevated by a pillow tucked beneath her hips, lay still along the bed; one shining leg extended along the edge of the bed, ending in a [Pg 77] sharply defined foot like the tip of a sword. The light from the big fire in the fireplace bathed her skin in a golden glow, casting flickering lights and shadows over her still body, wrapping it in mystery and beauty, while her outer clothes and undergarments, spread across the chairs and the carpet, waited patiently like a well-behaved flock.
She raised herself on her elbow, resting her cheek in her hand.
She propped herself up on her elbow, resting her cheek in her hand.
"You are the first, really you are, I am not lying: the others don't exist."
"You’re the first, seriously, I’m not kidding: the others don’t exist."
He felt no jealousy in respect of the past; he had no fear of comparisons. He questioned her:
He felt no jealousy about the past; he had no fear of comparisons. He asked her:
"Then the others?"
"What about the others?"
"To begin with, there were only two: my professor, and he of course doesn't count, and there was the man I told you about, a solid sort of a person, whom my mother saddled me with."
"To start, there were just two: my professor, who doesn't really count, and the guy I mentioned, a dependable kind of person, whom my mom set me up with."
"No more?"
"Are you done?"
"I swear it."
"I promise."
"And Chevalier?"
"And Chevalier?"
"Chevalier? He? Good gracious, no! You wouldn't have had me look at him!"
"Chevalier? Him? No way! You can't expect me to look at him!"
"And the solid sort of person found by your mother, he, too, does not count any more?"
"And the stable kind of person your mother found, he doesn't matter anymore?"
"I assure you that, with you, I am another woman. It's the solemn truth that you are the first to possess me. It's queer, all the same. [Pg 78] Directly I set eyes on you I wanted you. Quite suddenly I felt I must have you. I felt it somehow. What? I should find it very hard to say. Oh, I didn't stop to think. With your conventional, stiff, frigid manners, and your appearance, like a curly-haired little wolf, you pleased me, that was all! And now I could not do without you. No, indeed, I couldn't."
"I promise you, with you, I’m a different woman. It's the honest truth that you are the first one to truly have me. It’s strange, after all. [Pg 78] The moment I saw you, I wanted you. It hit me out of nowhere that I needed you. I felt it in a way that’s hard to explain. I didn’t stop to think. With your polite, rigid, cold manners, and your look, like a little curly-haired wolf, you caught my attention, and that was enough! And now, I can’t imagine being without you. No, really, I can’t."
He assured her that on her surrender he had been deliciously surprised; he said all sorts of pretty, caressing things, all of which had been said before.
He assured her that when she gave in, he was really surprised; he said all kinds of sweet, affectionate things, all of which had been said before.
Taking his head in her hands, she said:
Taking his head in her hands, she said:
"You have really the teeth of a wolf. I think it was your teeth that made me want you the first day. Bite me!"
"You really have the teeth of a wolf. I think it was your teeth that made me want you from the very first day. Bite me!"
He pressed her to his bosom, and felt her firm supple body respond to his embrace. Suddenly she released herself:
He pulled her close to him and felt her strong, flexible body react to his hug. Suddenly, she pulled away:
"Don't you hear the gravel creaking?"
"Don't you hear the gravel crunching?"
"No."
"Nope."
"Listen: I can hear a sound of footsteps on the path."
"Listen: I can hear footsteps on the path."
Sitting upright, her body bent forward, she strained her ears.
Sitting up straight, leaning forward, she listened intently.
He was disappointed, excited, irritated, and perhaps his self-esteem was slightly hurt.
He felt disappointed, excited, annoyed, and maybe his self-esteem was a bit bruised.
"What has come over you? It's absurd."
"What’s gotten into you? It’s ridiculous."
She cried very sharply:
She cried out sharply:
"Do hold your tongue!"
"Please be quiet!"
She was listening intently to a slight sound, near at hand, as of breaking branches.
She was listening closely to a faint sound nearby, like branches snapping.
Suddenly she leapt from the bed with such instinctive agility, with a movement so like the rapid spring of a young animal, that Ligny, although by no means of a literary turn of mind, thought of the cat metamorphosed into a woman.
Suddenly, she jumped out of bed with such instinctive agility, moving like a young animal springing into action, that Ligny, who wasn’t really the literary type, thought of a cat transformed into a woman.
"Are you crazy? Where are you going?"
"Are you out of your mind? Where are you headed?"
Raising a corner of the curtain, she wiped the moisture from the corner of a pane, and peered out through the window. She saw nothing but the night. The noise had ceased altogether.
Raising a corner of the curtain, she wiped the moisture from the corner of a windowpane and looked out through the window. She saw nothing but darkness. The noise had completely stopped.
During this time, Ligny, lying moodily against the wall, was grumbling:
During this time, Ligny, leaning against the wall with a frown, was complaining:
"As you will, but, if you catch a cold, so much the worse for you!"
"As you wish, but if you catch a cold, that's your problem!"
She glided back into bed. At first he remained somewhat resentful; but she wrapped him about with the delicious freshness of her body.
She slipped back into bed. At first, he felt a bit resentful, but she enveloped him with the refreshing warmth of her body.
When they came to themselves they were surprised to see by one of their watches that it was seven o'clock.
When they came to their senses, they were surprised to see on one of their watches that it was seven o'clock.
Ligny lit the lamp, a paraffin lamp, supported on a column, with a cut-glass container inside which the wick was curled up like a tape-worm. Félicie was very quick in dressing herself. They [Pg 80] had to descend one floor by a wooden staircase, dark and narrow. He went ahead, carrying the lamp, and halted in the passage.
Ligny lit the lamp, a paraffin lamp, resting on a column, with a cut-glass container inside where the wick was curled like a tape-worm. Félicie quickly got dressed. They [Pg 80] needed to go down one floor using a dark, narrow wooden staircase. He went first, holding the lamp, and stopped in the hallway.
"You go out, darling, before I put the lamp out."
"You go ahead, babe, before I turn off the lamp."
She opened the door, and immediately recoiled with a loud shriek. She had seen Chevalier standing on the outer steps, with arms extended, tall, black, erect as a crucifix. His hand grasped a revolver. The glint of the weapon was not perceptible; nevertheless she saw it quite distinctly.
She opened the door and instantly pulled back with a loud scream. She had spotted Chevalier standing on the front steps, arms stretched out, tall, dark, and straight like a crucifix. He was holding a gun. She couldn't see the shine of the weapon, but she recognized it clearly.
"What's the matter?" demanded Ligny, who was turning down the wick of the lamp.
"What's wrong?" Ligny asked, adjusting the lamp's wick.
"Listen, but don't come near me!" cried Chevalier in a loud voice. "I forbid you to belong to one another. This is my dying wish. Good-bye, Félicie."
"Listen, but don’t get close to me!" shouted Chevalier loudly. "I forbid you to be together. This is my dying wish. Goodbye, Félicie."
And he slipped the barrel of the revolver into his mouth.
And he put the barrel of the gun in his mouth.
Crouching against the passage wall, she closed her eyes. When she reopened them, Chevalier was lying on his side, across the doorway. His eyes were wide open, and he seemed to be gazing at them with a smile. A thread of blood was trickling from his mouth over the flagstones of the porch. A convulsive tremor shook his arm. Then he ceased to move. As he lay there, huddled up; he seemed smaller than usual.
Crouching against the wall of the hallway, she shut her eyes. When she opened them again, Chevalier was lying on his side, sprawled across the doorway. His eyes were wide open, and he appeared to be looking at them with a faint smile. A stream of blood was trickling from his mouth onto the stone floor of the porch. A violent tremor shook his arm. Then he stopped moving. As he lay there, curled up, he seemed smaller than usual.
On hearing the report of the revolver, Ligny had hurriedly come forward. In the darkness of the night he raised the body, and immediately lowering it gently to the ground he attempted to strike matches, which the wind promptly extinguished. At last, by the flare of one of the matches, he saw that the bullet had carried away part of the skull, that the meninges were laid bare over an area as large as the palm of the hand; this area was grey, oozing blood, and very irregular in shape, its outlines reminding Ligny of the map of Africa. He was conscious of a sudden feeling of respect in the presence of this dead man. Placing his hands under the armpits, he dragged Chevalier with the minutest precautions into the room at the side. Leaving him there, he hurried through the house in quest of Félicie, calling to her.
Upon hearing the sound of the gun, Ligny quickly stepped forward. In the darkness of the night, he lifted the body and gently laid it down on the ground. He tried to strike matches, but the wind quickly blew them out. Finally, with the brief light of one match, he noticed that the bullet had shattered part of the skull, exposing the meninges over an area about the size of a palm. This area was grey, bleeding, and oddly shaped, its contours reminding Ligny of the map of Africa. He felt a sudden respect for the dead man before him. Carefully placing his hands under the armpits, he dragged Chevalier, taking every precaution, into the adjacent room. Leaving him there, he rushed through the house calling for Félicie.
He found her in the bedroom, with her head buried under the bed-clothes of the unmade bed, crying: "Mamma! Mamma!" and repeating prayers.
He found her in the bedroom, with her head buried under the covers of the messy bed, crying, "Mom! Mom!" and repeating prayers.
"Don't stay here, Félicie."
"Don't stay here, Félicie."
She went downstairs with him. But, on reaching the hall, she said:
She went downstairs with him. But when they got to the hall, she said:
"You know very well that we can't go out that way."
"You know we can't go out that way."
He showed her out by the kitchen door.
He walked her out through the kitchen door.
CHAPTER VII
eft alone in the silent house, Robert de Ligny relit the lamp. Serious
and even somewhat solemn voices were beginning to speak within him.
Moulded from childhood by the rules of moral responsibility, he now
experienced a sensation of painful regret, akin to remorse. Reflecting
that he had caused the death of this man, albeit without intending it or
knowing it, he did not feel wholly innocent. Shreds of his philosophic
and religious training came back to him, disturbing his conscience. The
phrases of moralists and preachers, learned at school, which had sunk to
the very depths of his memory, suddenly rose in his mind. Its inward
voices repeated them to him. They said, quoting some old religious
orator: "When we abandon ourselves to irregularities of conduct, even to
those regarded as least culpable in the opinion of the world, we render
ourselves liable to commit the most reprehensible actions. We perceive,
from the most frightful examples, that voluptuousness leads to crime."
Left alone in the quiet house, Robert de Ligny lit the lamp again. Serious and even somewhat solemn thoughts began to pour into his mind. Shaped by the rules of moral responsibility since childhood, he now felt a painful regret, almost like remorse. Reflecting on the fact that he had caused this man's death, even though he hadn't meant to or realized it, he didn't feel completely innocent. Fragments of his philosophical and religious training resurfaced, troubling his conscience. The phrases of moralists and preachers he had learned in school, which had sunk deep into his memory, suddenly came back to him. The inner voices repeated them: "When we give in to questionable behavior, even those considered least blameworthy by society, we make ourselves vulnerable to committing the worst actions. We see, from the most horrifying examples, that indulgence leads to crime."
These maxims, upon which he had never reflected, suddenly assumed for him a precise and austere meaning. He thought the matter over seriously. But since his mind was not deeply religious, and since he was incapable of cherishing exaggerated scruples, he was conscious of only a passable degree of edification, which was steadily diminishing. Before long he decided that such scruples were out of place and that they could not possibly apply to the situation. "When we abandon ourselves to irregularities of conduct, even to those regarded as least culpable in the opinion of the world.... We perceive, from the most frightful examples...." These phrases, which only a little while ago had reverberated through his soul like a peal of thunder, he now heard in the snuffling and throaty voices of the professors and priests who had taught them to him, and he found them somewhat ridiculous. By a natural association of ideas he recalled a passage from an ancient Roman history—which he had read, when in the second form, during a certain course of study, and which had impressed itself on his mind—a few lines concerning a lady who was convicted of adultery and accused of having set fire to Rome. "So true it is," ran the historian's comment, "that a person who violates the laws of chastity is capable of any crime." He smiled inwardly at this recollection, [Pg 84] reflecting that the moralists, after all, had queer ideas about life.
These sayings, which he had never thought about before, suddenly took on a clear and serious meaning for him. He considered the issue carefully. However, since he wasn't particularly religious and couldn’t muster intense feelings of guilt, he felt only a moderate amount of moral instruction, which was quickly fading. Before long, he concluded that such feelings were out of place and didn’t really apply to his situation. "When we give in to questionable behavior, even those considered the least wrong by society.... We learn, from the most shocking examples...." These words, which not long ago had echoed in his mind like a loud thunderclap, now sounded to him like the snuffling and gravelly voices of the professors and priests who had taught them, and he found them somewhat silly. Naturally, this train of thought led him to remember a passage from an ancient Roman history book he had read during his second year of school, which had left an impression on him—a few lines about a woman who was found guilty of adultery and accused of setting fire to Rome. "So true it is," the historian commented, "that a person who breaks the laws of morality is capable of any crime." He inwardly smiled at this memory, [Pg 84] thinking that moralists really had strange ideas about life.
The wick, which was charring, gave an insufficient light. He could not manage to snuff it, and it was giving out a horrible stench of paraffin. Thinking of the author of the passage relating to the Roman lady, he said to himself: "Sure enough, it was a queer idea that he got hold of there!"
The wick, which was burning poorly, was giving off too little light. He couldn't manage to put it out, and it was emitting a terrible smell of paraffin. Remembering the part about the Roman lady, he thought to himself, "Definitely a strange idea he had there!"
He felt reassured as to his innocence. His slight feeling of remorse had entirely evaporated, and he was unable to conceive how he could for a moment have believed himself responsible for Chevalier's death. Yet the affair troubled him.
He felt confident in his innocence. His small sense of guilt had completely faded away, and he couldn't understand how he could have ever thought he was responsible for Chevalier's death. Still, the situation bothered him.
Suddenly he thought: "Supposing he were still alive!"
Suddenly he thought, "What if he’s still alive?"
A while ago, for the space of a second, by the light of a match blown out as soon as it was struck, he had seen the hole in the actor's skull. But what if he had seen incorrectly? What if he had taken a mere graze of the skin for a serious lesion of the brain and skull? Does a man retain his powers of judgment in the first moments of surprise and horror? A wound may be hideous without being mortal, or even particularly serious. It had certainly seemed to him that the man was dead. But was he a medical man, able to judge with certainty?
A little while ago, for just a second, in the light of a match that went out as soon as it was lit, he had seen the hole in the actor's skull. But what if he had seen it wrong? What if he mistook a slight scratch on the skin for a serious injury to the brain and skull? Does a person really think clearly in the initial shock and horror? An injury can look terrible without being life-threatening or even that serious. It definitely seemed to him that the man was dead. But was he a medical professional who could make that call with certainty?
He lost all patience with the wick, which was still charring, and muttered:
He lost all patience with the wick, which was still burning, and muttered:
"This lamp is enough to poison one."
"This lamp is enough to be toxic."
Then recalling a trick of speech habitual to Dr. Socrates, as to the origin of which he was ignorant, he repeated mentally:
Then remembering a speech trick that Dr. Socrates often used, the origin of which he didn’t know, he thought to himself:
"This lamp stinks like thirty-six cart-loads of devils."
"This lamp smells like thirty-six cartloads of bad stuff."
Instances occurred to him of several abortive attempts at suicide. He remembered having read in a newspaper that a married man, after killing his wife, had, like Chevalier, fired his revolver into his mouth, but had only succeeded in shattering his jaw; he remembered that at his club a well known sportsman, after a card scandal, tried to blow out his brains but merely shot off an ear. These instances applied to Chevalier with striking exactitude.
Instances came to mind of several unsuccessful suicide attempts. He remembered reading in a newspaper about a married man who, after killing his wife, had, like Chevalier, fired a gun into his mouth but only managed to shatter his jaw; he recalled that at his club a well-known sportsman, after a card scandal, tried to blow his brains out but only shot off an ear. These instances were remarkably relevant to Chevalier.
"Supposing he were not dead."
"What if he isn't dead?"
He wished and hoped against all evidence that the unfortunate man might still be breathing, that he might be saved. He thought of fetching bandages, of giving first aid. Intending to re-examine the man lying in the front room, he raised the lamp, which was still emitting an insufficient light, too suddenly, and so extinguished it. Whereupon, surprised by the sudden darkness, he lost patience and exclaimed:
He wished and hoped against all odds that the unfortunate man might still be alive, that he could be saved. He thought about getting bandages, about providing first aid. Planning to check on the man lying in the front room, he lifted the lamp, which was still giving off a dim light, too quickly and accidentally blew it out. Then, caught off guard by the sudden darkness, he lost his patience and shouted:
"Confound the blasted thing!"
"Curse this damn thing!"
While lighting it again, he flattered himself with the idea that Chevalier, once taken to hospital, would regain consciousness, and would live, and seeing him already on his feet, perched on his long legs, bawling, clearing his throat, sneering, his desire for his recovery became less eager; he was even beginning to cease to desire it, to regard it as annoying and inconsiderate. He asked himself anxiously, with a feeling of real uneasiness:
While lighting it again, he convinced himself that Chevalier, once taken to the hospital, would wake up, recover, and see him up and about, standing tall on his long legs, yelling, clearing his throat, and sneering. His desire for Chevalier's recovery started to fade; he even began to feel that it was more of a hassle than anything else. He questioned himself anxiously, feeling a genuine sense of unease:
"What in the world would he do if he came back, that dismal actor fellow? Would he return to the Odéon? Would he stroll through its corridors displaying his great scar? Would he once more have to see him prowling round Félicie?"
"What on earth would he do if he came back, that gloomy actor guy? Would he go back to the Odéon? Would he walk through its halls showing off his big scar? Would he have to see him lurking around Félicie again?"
He held the lighted lamp close to the body and recognized the livid bleeding wound, the irregular outline of which reminded him of the Africa of his schoolboy maps.
He held the lit lamp close to the body and recognized the dark, bleeding wound, the irregular shape of which reminded him of the Africa from his school maps.
Plainly death had been instantaneous, and he failed to understand how he could for a moment have doubted it.
Clearly, death had come instantly, and he couldn't grasp how he could have doubted it for even a moment.
He left the house and proceeded to stride up and down in the garden. The image of the wound was flashing before his eyes like the impression caused by too bright a light. It moved away from him, increasing in size against the black sky; it took the shape of a pale continent whence he saw [Pg 87] swarms of distracted little blacks pouring forth, armed with bows and arrows.
He left the house and started pacing back and forth in the garden. The image of the wound flashed before his eyes like the glare from a bright light. It drifted away from him, getting larger against the dark sky; it took the shape of a pale continent from which he saw [Pg 87] crowds of confused little figures pouring out, armed with bows and arrows.
He decided that the first thing to do was to fetch Madame Simonneau, who lived close at hand, in the Boulevard Bineau, in the residential part of the café. He closed the gate carefully, and went in search of the housekeeper. Once on the boulevard, he recovered his equanimity. He felt most uncomfortable about the accident; he accepted the accomplished fact, but he cavilled at fate in respect of the circumstances. Since there had to be a death, he gave his consent that there should be one, but he would have preferred another. Toward this one he was conscious of a feeling of disgust and repugnance. He said to himself vaguely:
He decided that the first thing he needed to do was to get Madame Simonneau, who lived nearby on Boulevard Bineau, in the residential area of the café. He carefully closed the gate and set out to find the housekeeper. Once on the boulevard, he regained his composure. He felt really uneasy about the accident; he accepted what had happened, but he resented fate regarding the circumstances. Since there had to be a death, he agreed to it happening, but he would have preferred it to be someone else. He felt a sense of disgust and repulsion towards this one. He thought to himself vaguely:
"I concede a suicide. But what is the good of a ridiculous and declamatory suicide? Couldn't the fellow have killed himself at home? Couldn't he, if his determination was irrevocable, have carried it out discreetly, with proper pride? That is what a gentleman would have done in his position. Then one might have pitied him, and respected his memory."
"I acknowledge a suicide. But what's the point of such a theatrical and over-the-top suicide? Couldn't he have just done it at home? If he was truly set on it, couldn't he have done it quietly and with some dignity? That's what a gentleman would have done in his situation. Then people might have felt sorry for him and honored his memory."
He recalled word for word his conversation with Félicie in the bedroom an hour before the tragedy. He asked her if she had not for a time been Chevalier's mistress. He had asked her this, [Pg 88] not because he wanted to know, for he had very little doubt of it, but in order to show that he knew it. And she had replied indignantly: "Chevalier? He? Good gracious no! You wouldn't have had me look at him!"
He remembered every detail of his conversation with Félicie in the bedroom an hour before the tragedy. He asked her if she had ever been Chevalier's mistress. He asked her this, [Pg 88] not because he wanted to know, since he had very little doubt about it, but to show that he was aware of it. And she had replied indignantly, "Chevalier? Him? Goodness no! You wouldn't have caught me looking at him!"
He did not blame her for having lied. All women lie. He rather enjoyed the graceful and easy manner with which she had cast the fellow out of her past. But he was vexed with her for having given herself to a low-down actor. Chevalier spoilt Félicie for him. Why did she take lovers of that type? Was she wanting in taste? Did she not exercise a certain selection? Did she behave like a woman of the town? Did she lack a certain sense of niceness which warns women as to what they may or may not do? Didn't she know how to behave? Well, this was the sort of thing that happened if women had no breeding. He blamed Félicie for the accident that had occurred and was relieved of a heavy incubus.
He didn’t blame her for lying. All women lie. He actually liked how effortlessly she had moved on from that guy in her past. But he was annoyed that she had been with some no-good actor. Chevalier had ruined Félicie for him. Why did she choose guys like that? Did she have bad taste? Didn’t she make some sort of selection? Did she act like a woman of the street? Did she not have a sense of decency that usually guides women on what they should or shouldn't do? Didn’t she know how to act? Well, that’s what happened when women had no upbringing. He held Félicie responsible for what had happened and felt relieved of a heavy burden.
Madame Simonneau was not at home. He inquired her whereabouts of the waiters in the café, the grocer's assistants, the girls at the laundry, the police, and the postman. At last, following the direction of a neighbour, he found her poulticing an old lady, for she was a nurse. Her face was purple and she reeked of brandy. He sent her to watch the corpse. He instructed her to cover it [Pg 89] with a sheet, and to hold herself at the disposal of the commissary and the doctor, who would come for the particulars. She replied, somewhat nettled, that she knew please God, what she had to do. She did indeed know. Madame Simonneau was born in a social circle which is obsequious to the constituted authorities and respects the dead. But when, having questioned Monsieur de Ligny, she learnt that he had dragged the body into the front room, she could not conceal from him that such behaviour was imprudent and might expose him to unpleasantness.
Madame Simonneau wasn't home. He asked the waiters at the café, the grocer’s helpers, the girls at the laundry, the police, and the postman where she was. Finally, following a neighbor's directions, he found her treating an elderly woman because she was a nurse. Her face was red, and she smelled strongly of brandy. He told her to watch over the corpse and to cover it with a sheet, and to be available for the commissary and the doctor, who would come for details. She replied, a bit annoyed, that she already knew what to do, thank God. And she really did know. Madame Simonneau came from a background that was submissive to authority and respectful of the dead. But when she learned from Monsieur de Ligny that he had dragged the body into the front room, she couldn't hide from him that such actions were reckless and could lead to trouble. [Pg 89]
"You ought not to have done it," she told him. "When anyone has killed himself, you must never touch him before the police come."
"You shouldn't have done that," she said to him. "When someone has killed themselves, you must never touch them before the police arrive."
Ligny thereupon went off to notify the commissary. The first excitement having passed off, he no longer felt any surprise, doubtless because events which, considered from a distance, would seem strange, when they take place before us appear quite natural, as indeed they are. They unfold themselves in an ordinary fashion, falling into place as a succession of petty facts, and eventually losing themselves in the everyday commonplace of life. His mind was distracted from the violent death of an unfortunate fellow-creature by the very circumstances of that death, by the part which he had played in the affair and [Pg 90] the occupation which it had imposed upon him. On his way to the commissary's he felt as calm and as free from mental care as though he had been on his way to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to decipher despatches.
Ligny then went off to inform the commissary. Once the initial shock wore off, he was no longer surprised, probably because events that seem strange from afar appear completely normal when they happen right in front of us, as indeed they are. They unfold in a normal way, fitting together as a series of minor events, and ultimately blending into the everyday routine of life. His mind was distracted from the brutal death of an unfortunate person by the very circumstances of that death, by the role he had played in it, and [Pg 90] the duty it had imposed on him. On his way to the commissary, he felt as calm and free from worry as if he were heading to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to decode messages.
At nine o'clock in the evening, the police commissary entered the garden with his secretary and a policeman. The municipal physician, Monsieur Hibry, arrived simultaneously. Already, thanks to the industry of Madame Simonneau, who was always interested in matters of supply, the house exhaled a violent smell of carbolic and was blazing with the candles which she had lit. Madame Simonneau was bustling to and fro, actuated by an urgent desire to procure a crucifix and a bough of consecrated box-wood for the dead. The doctor examined the corpse by the light of a candle.
At nine o'clock in the evening, the police commissioner entered the garden with his secretary and a police officer. The town doctor, Monsieur Hibry, arrived at the same time. Already, thanks to the efforts of Madame Simonneau, who was always keen on handling supplies, the house was filled with a strong smell of disinfectant and lit up with the candles she had set up. Madame Simonneau was rushing around, driven by an urgent need to find a crucifix and a branch of blessed boxwood for the deceased. The doctor examined the body by candlelight.
He was a bulky man with a ruddy complexion. He breathed noisily. He had just dined.
He was a large man with a rosy complexion. He breathed loudly. He had just eaten.
"The bullet, a large calibre bullet," he said, "penetrated by way of the palatal vault, traversed the brain and finally fractured the left parietal bone, carrying away a portion of the cerebral substance, and blowing out a piece of the skull. Death was instantaneous."
"The bullet, a large caliber bullet," he said, "entered through the roof of the mouth, passed through the brain, and ultimately shattered the left parietal bone, taking part of the brain with it and blowing out a piece of the skull. Death was immediate."
He returned the candle to Madame Simonneau and continued:
He handed the candle back to Madame Simonneau and went on:
"Splinters of the skull were projected to a certain distance. They will probably be found in the garden. I should conjecture that the bullet was round-nosed. A conical bullet would have caused less destruction."
"Pieces of the skull were scattered a certain distance away. They will probably be discovered in the garden. I would guess that the bullet was round-nosed. A conical bullet would have caused less damage."
However, the commissary. Monsieur Josse-Arbrissel, a tall, thin man with a long grey moustache, seemed neither to see nor to hear. A dog was howling outside the garden gate.
However, the commissary. Monsieur Josse-Arbrissel, a tall, thin man with a long grey mustache, appeared to neither see nor hear anything. A dog was howling outside the garden gate.
"The direction of the wound," said the doctor, "as well as the fingers of the right hand, which are still contracted, are more than ample proof of suicide."
"The direction of the wound," the doctor said, "along with the fingers of the right hand, which are still curled, is more than enough evidence of suicide."
He lit a cigar.
He lit a cigar.
"We are sufficiently informed," remarked the commissary.
"We have enough information," said the commissary.
"I regret, gentlemen, to have disturbed you," said Robert de Ligny, "and I thank you for the courteous manner in which you have carried out your official duties."
"I apologize for interrupting you, gentlemen," said Robert de Ligny, "and I appreciate the respectful way you've performed your official duties."
The secretary and the police agent, Madame Simonneau showing the way, carried the body up to the first floor.
The secretary and the police officer, Madame Simonneau leading the way, took the body up to the first floor.
Monsieur Josse-Arbrissel was biting his nails and looking into space.
Monsieur Josse-Arbrissel was nervously biting his nails and staring off into the distance.
"A tragedy of jealousy," he remarked, "nothing is more common. We have here in Neuilly a steady average of self-inflicted deaths. Out of a hundred suicides thirty are caused by gambling. [Pg 92] The others are due to disappointment in love, poverty, or incurable disease."
"A tragedy of jealousy," he said, "nothing is more common. Here in Neuilly, we consistently see a steady number of self-inflicted deaths. Out of every hundred suicides, thirty are due to gambling. [Pg 92] The rest are a result of heartbreak, financial struggles, or terminal illness."
"Chevalier?" inquired Dr. Hibry, who was a lover of the theatre, "Chevalier? Wait a minute! I have seen him; I saw him at a benefit performance, at the Variétés. Of course! He recited a monologue."
"Chevalier?" asked Dr. Hibry, who loved the theater. "Chevalier? Hold on! I've seen him; I saw him at a benefit show at the Variétés. Of course! He performed a monologue."
The dog howled outside the garden gate.
The dog howled outside the garden gate.
"You cannot imagine," resumed the commissary, "the disasters caused in this municipality by the pari mutuel. I am not exaggerating when I assert that at least thirty per cent of the suicides which I have to look into are caused by gambling. Everybody gambles here. Every hairdresser's shop is a clandestine betting agency. No later than last week a concierge in the Avenue du Roule was found hanging from a tree in the Bois de Boulogne. Now, working men, servants, and junior clerks who gamble do not need to take their own lives. They move to another quarter, they disappear. But a man of position, an official whom gambling has ruined, who is overwhelmed by clamorous creditors, threatened with distraint, and on the point of being dragged before a court of justice, cannot disappear. What is to become of him?"
"You can't imagine," the commissary continued, "the disasters caused in this town by the betting pool. I'm not exaggerating when I say that at least thirty percent of the suicides I have to investigate are due to gambling. Everyone here is into it. Every hairdresser's shop operates as an underground betting spot. Just last week, a landlord on Avenue du Roule was found hanging from a tree in Bois de Boulogne. Now, working-class people, servants, and junior clerks who gamble can just move to another neighborhood and disappear. But a man of stature, an official who's been ruined by gambling, who is overwhelmed by demanding creditors, threatened with seizure, and on the verge of facing a court case, can't just vanish. What will happen to him?"
"I have it!" exclaimed the physician. "He recited The Duel in the Prairie. People are rather tired of monologues, but that is very funny. You [Pg 93] remember! 'Will you fight with the sword?' 'No, sir.' 'The pistol?' 'No, sir.' 'The sabre, the knife?' 'No, sir.' 'Ah, then, I see what you want. You are not fastidious. What you want is a duel in the prairie. I agree. We will replace the prairie by a five-storied house. You are permitted to conceal yourself in the vegetation.' Chevalier used to recite The Duel in the Prairie in a very humorous manner. He amused me greatly that night. It is true that I am not an ungrateful audience; I worship the theatre."
"I've got it!" the doctor said. "He recited The Duel in the Prairie. People are pretty tired of monologues, but that one's really funny. You [Pg 93] remember! 'Will you fight with the sword?' 'No, thanks.' 'How about the pistol?' 'No, thanks.' 'The sabre, the knife?' 'No, thanks.' 'Ah, then I see what you're after. You’re not picky. What you want is a duel in the prairie. I agree. We'll swap out the prairie for a five-story building. You can hide among the plants.' Chevalier used to recite The Duel in the Prairie in a really funny way. He really entertained me that night. It's true that I'm not an ungrateful audience; I love the theater."
The commissary was not listening. He was following up his own train of thought.
The commissary wasn't paying attention. He was caught up in his own thoughts.
"It will never be known, how many fortunes and lives are devoured each year by the pari mutuel. Gambling never releases its victims; when it has despoiled them of everything, it still remains their only hope. What else, indeed, will permit them to hope?"
"It will never be known how many fortunes and lives are consumed each year by the pari mutuel. Gambling never lets go of its victims; even after it has stripped them of everything, it remains their only hope. What else, really, will allow them to hope?"
He ceased, straining his ear to catch the distant cry of a newsvendor, and rushed out into the avenue in pursuit of the fugitive yelping shadow, hailed him, and snatched from him a sporting paper, which he spread out under the light of a gas-lamp, scanning its pages for certain names of horses: Fleur-des-pois, La Châtelaine, Lucrèce. With haggard eyes, trembling hands, dumbfounded, crushed, he dropped the sheet: his horse had not won.
He stopped, straining to hear the distant shout of a news vendor, and rushed out onto the street after the fleeing, yelping figure. He called out to him and grabbed a sports newspaper, spreading it out under the light of a gas lamp, scanning its pages for specific horse names: Fleur-des-pois, La Châtelaine, Lucrèce. With worn-out eyes, trembling hands, and feeling stunned and defeated, he dropped the paper: his horse had not won.
And Dr. Hibry, observing him from a distance, reflected that some day, in his capacity of physician to the dead, he might well be called upon to certify the suicide of his commissary of police, and he made up his mind in advance to conclude, as far as possible, that his death was due to accidental causes.
And Dr. Hibry, watching him from afar, thought that someday, as a doctor for the deceased, he might be asked to confirm the suicide of his police chief, and he decided in advance to state, as much as he could, that his death was accidental.
Suddenly he seized his umbrella.
Suddenly, he grabbed his umbrella.
"I must be off," he said. "I have been given a seat for the Opéra-Comique to-night. It would be a pity to waste it."
"I've got to go," he said. "I have a ticket for the Opéra-Comique tonight. It would be a shame to waste it."
Before leaving the house, Ligny asked Madame Simonneau:
Before leaving the house, Ligny asked Madame Simonneau:
"Where have you put him?"
"Where did you put him?"
"In the bed," replied Madame Simonneau. "It was more decent."
"In bed," replied Madame Simonneau. "It was more appropriate."
He made no objection, and raising his eyes to the front of the house, he saw at the windows of the bedroom, through the muslin curtains, the light of the two candles which the housekeeper had placed on the bedside table.
He didn't say anything, and looking up at the front of the house, he saw the light from two candles shining through the muslin curtains at the bedroom windows, which the housekeeper had set on the bedside table.
"Perhaps," he said, "one might get a nun to watch by him."
"Maybe," he said, "you could get a nun to keep an eye on him."
"It's not necessary," replied Madame Simonneau, who had invited some neighbours of her own sex, and had ordered her wine and meat. "It's not necessary, I will watch by him myself."
"It's not needed," replied Madame Simonneau, who had invited some female neighbors and had ordered her wine and meat. "It's not needed, I'll keep an eye on him myself."
Ligny did not press the point.
Ligny didn't press the matter.
The dog was still howling outside the gate.
The dog was still barking outside the gate.
Returning on foot to the barrier, he noticed, over Paris, a reddish glow which filled the whole sky. Above the chimney-pots the factory chimneys rose grotesque and black, against this fiery mist, seeming to look down with a ridiculous familiarity upon the mysterious conflagration of a world. The few passers-by whom he met on the boulevard strolled along quietly, without raising their heads. Although he knew that when cities are wrapped in night the moist atmosphere often reflects the lights, becoming tinged with this uniform glow, which shines without a flicker, he fancied that he was looking at the reflection of a vast fire. He accepted, without reflection, the idea that Paris was sinking into the abyss of a prodigious conflagration; he found it natural that the private catastrophe in which he had become involved should be merged into a public disaster and that this same night should be for a whole population, as for him! a night of sinister happenings.
Returning on foot to the barrier, he noticed a reddish glow over Paris that filled the entire sky. The factory chimneys rose grotesquely and black above the chimney-pots, looking down with a ridiculous familiarity on the mysterious blaze of the world. The few people he encountered on the boulevard strolled by quietly, without lifting their heads. Although he knew that when cities are cloaked in darkness, the moist air often reflects the lights, giving everything a uniform glow that shines steadily, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was seeing the reflection of a massive fire. He accepted, without thinking, the idea that Paris was sinking into the depths of a huge blaze; he found it natural that the personal disaster he had become caught up in should blend into a public calamity and that this same night should be, for an entire population, as it was for him, a night of ominous events.
Being extremely hungry, he took a cab at the barrier, and had himself driven to a restaurant in the Rue Royale. In the bright, warm room he was conscious of a sense of well-being. After ordering his meal, he opened an evening newspaper and saw, in the Parliamentary report, that his Minister had delivered a speech. On reading it, he smothered a slight laugh; he remembered [Pg 96] certain stories told at the Quai d'Orsay. The Minister of Foreign Affairs was enamoured of Madame de Neuilles, an elderly lady with a lurid past, whom public rumour had raised to the status of adventuress and spy. He was wont, it was whispered, to try on her the speeches which he was to deliver in the Chamber. Ligny, who had formerly been to a certain small extent the lover of Madame de Neuilles, pictured to himself the statesman in his shirt reciting to his lady-love the following statement of principles: "Far be it from me to disregard the legitimate susceptibilities of the national sentiment. Resolutely pacific, but jealous of France's honour, the Government will, etc." This vision put him in a merry mood. He turned the page, and read: To-morrow at the Odéon, first performance (in this theatre) of La Nuit du 23 octobre 1812 with Messieurs Durville, Maury, Romilly, Destrée, Vicar, Léon Clim, Valroche, Aman, Chevalier....
Feeling very hungry, he took a cab from the barrier and had the driver take him to a restaurant on Rue Royale. In the bright, warm room, he felt a sense of well-being. After ordering his meal, he opened an evening newspaper and noticed in the Parliamentary report that his Minister had given a speech. When he read it, he suppressed a slight laugh; he remembered [Pg 96] some stories shared at the Quai d'Orsay. The Minister of Foreign Affairs was infatuated with Madame de Neuilles, an older woman with a scandalous past, who public gossip had elevated to the level of an adventuress and spy. It was rumored that he would practice his speeches on her before delivering them in the Chamber. Ligny, who had been a somewhat minor lover of Madame de Neuilles, imagined the statesman in his shirt reciting this statement of principles to his lady-love: "Far be it from me to ignore the legitimate sensitivities of national sentiment. Resolutely peaceful, but protective of France's honor, the Government will, etc." This vision put him in a cheerful mood. He turned the page and read: Tomorrow at the Odéon, the first performance (in this theater) of La Nuit du 23 octobre 1812 featuring Messieurs Durville, Maury, Romilly, Destrée, Vicar, Léon Clim, Valroche, Aman, Chevalier....
CHAPTER VIII
t one o'clock on the following day La Grille was in rehearsal, for
the first time, in the green-room of the theatre. A dismal light spread
like a pall over the grey stones of the roof, the galleries, and the
columns. In the depressing majesty of this pallid architecture, beneath
the statue of Racine, the leading actors were reading before Pradel, the
manager of the house, their parts, which they did not yet know. Romilly,
the stage manager, and Constantine Marc, the author of the piece, were
all three seated on a red velvet sofa, while, from a bench set back
between two columns, was exhaled the vigilant hatred and whispered
jealousy of the actresses left out of the cast.
At one o'clock the next day, La Grille was having its first rehearsal in the green room of the theater. A gloomy light spread like a shroud over the gray stones of the roof, the galleries, and the columns. In the somber grandeur of this pale architecture, beneath the statue of Racine, the main actors were reading their lines in front of Pradel, the theater manager, even though they weren’t familiar with them yet. Romilly, the stage manager, and Constantine Marc, the playwright, were all seated on a red velvet sofa, while from a bench set back between two columns came the watchful resentment and quietly whispered jealousy of the actresses who didn’t make the cast.
The lover, Paul Delage, was with difficulty deciphering a speech:
The lover, Paul Delage, struggled to understand a speech:
"'I recognize the château with its brick walls, its slated roof; the park, where I have so often entwined her initials and mine on the bark of the trees; the pond whose slumbering waters....'"
"'I recognize the château with its brick walls and slate roof; the park, where I’ve often carved her initials and mine into the bark of the trees; the pond with its still waters....'"
Fagette rebuked him:
Fagette called him out:
"'Beware, Aimeri, lest the château know you not again, lest the park forget your name, lest the pond murmur: "Who is this stranger?"'"
"'Watch out, Aimeri, or the château will forget you, the park will not remember your name, and the pond will whisper: "Who is this stranger?"'"
But she had a cold, and was reading from a manuscript copy full of mistakes.
But she had a cold and was reading from a manuscript that was full of mistakes.
"Don't stand there, Fagette: it's the summer-house," said Romilly.
"Don't just stand there, Fagette: it's the summer house," Romilly said.
"How do you expect me to know that?"
"How am I supposed to know that?"
"There's a chair put there."
"There's a chair over there."
"'Lest the pond murmur: "Who is this stranger?"'"
"'So the pond doesn’t whisper: "Who is this stranger?"'"
"Mademoiselle Nanteuil, it's your cue——Where has Nanteuil got to? Nanteuil!"
"Mademoiselle Nanteuil, it's your turn——Where has Nanteuil gone? Nanteuil!"
Nanteuil came forward muffled up in her furs, her little bag and her part in her hand, white as a sheet, her eyes sunken, her legs nerveless. When fully awake she had seen the dead man enter her bedroom.
Nanteuil stepped forward wrapped in her furs, her small bag and her part in her hand, pale as a ghost, her eyes hollow, her legs weak. When she was fully awake, she had seen the dead man walk into her bedroom.
She inquired:
She asked:
"Where do I make my entrance from?"
"Where do I enter?"
"From the right."
"From the right side."
"All right."
"Alright."
And she read:
And she read:
"'Cousin, I was so happy when I awoke this morning, I do not know why it was. Can you perhaps tell me?'"
"'Cousin, I felt so happy when I woke up this morning, and I can't figure out why. Can you maybe tell me?'"
Delage read his reply:
Delage read his response:
"'It may be, Cécile, that it was due to a special dispensation of Providence or of fate. The God who loves you suffers you to smile, in the hour of weeping and the gnashing of teeth.'"
"'It might be, Cécile, that this was due to a special blessing from Providence or fate. The God who loves you allows you to smile, even in times of sorrow and despair.'"
"Nanteuil, my darling, you cross the stage," said Romilly. "Delage, stand aside a bit to let her pass."
"Nanteuil, my darling, you walk across the stage," said Romilly. "Delage, step aside a little to let her through."
Nanteuil crossed over.
Nanteuil crossed over.
"'Terrible days, do you say, Aimeri? Our days are what we make them. They are terrible for evil-doers only.'"
"'Terrible days, you say, Aimeri? Our days are what we make them. They are only terrible for those who do wrong.'"
Romilly interrupted:
Romilly interrupted:
"Delage, efface yourself a trifle; be careful not to hide her from the audience. Once more, Nanteuil."
"Delage, step aside a bit; just make sure you don't block her from the audience's view. Once again, Nanteuil."
Nanteuil repeated:
Nanteuil repeated:
"'Terrible days, do you say, Aimeri? Our days are what we make them. They are terrible for evil-doers only.'"
"'Terrible days, you say, Aimeri? Our days are what we make of them. They are only terrible for those who do wrong.'"
Constantin Marc no longer recognized his handiwork, he could no longer even hear the sound of his beloved phrases, which he had so often repeated to himself in the Vivarais woods. Dumbfounded and dazed, he held his peace.
Constantin Marc no longer recognized his work; he could no longer even hear the sound of the phrases he had loved and repeated to himself so many times in the Vivarais woods. Stunned and confused, he remained silent.
Nanteuil tripped daintily across the stage, and resumed reading her part:
Nanteuil walked gracefully across the stage and continued reading her lines:
"'You will perhaps think me very foolish, Aimeri; in the convent where I was brought up, I often used to envy the fate of the victims.'"
"'You might think I'm really foolish, Aimeri; at the convent where I grew up, I often envied the fate of the victims.'"
Delage took up his cue, but he had overlooked a page of the manuscript:
Delage picked up his cue, but he had missed a page of the manuscript:
"'The weather is magnificent. Already the guests are strolling about the garden.'"
"'The weather is amazing. The guests are already walking around the garden.'"
It became necessary to start all over again.
It became necessary to start over.
"'Terrible days, do you say, Aimeri....'"
"‘Tough times, you say, Aimeri....’"
And so they proceeded, without troubling to understand, but careful to regulate their movements, as if studying the figures of a dance.
And so they moved on, not bothering to understand, but being careful to control their movements, like they were learning the steps of a dance.
"In the interests of the play, we shall have to make some cuts," said Pradel to the dismayed author.
"In the interest of the play, we need to make some cuts," Pradel told the shocked author.
And Delage continued:
And Delage said:
"'Do not blame me, Cécile: I felt for you a friendship dating from childhood, one of those fraternal friendships which impart to the love which springs from them a disquieting appearance of incest.'"
"'Don't blame me, Cécile: I've felt a friendship for you since childhood, one of those brotherly friendships that gives the love that comes from them a troubling hint of incest.'"
"Incest," shouted Pradel. "You cannot let the word 'incest' remain, Monsieur Constantin Marc. The public has susceptibilities of which you have no idea. Moreover, the order of the two speeches which follow must be transposed. The optics of the stage require it."
"Incest," shouted Pradel. "You can't let the word 'incest' stay, Monsieur Constantin Marc. The public has sensitivities that you can't even imagine. Plus, the order of the two speeches that follow needs to be switched. The stage's visual requirements demand it."
The rehearsal was interrupted. Romilly caught sight of Durville who, in a recess, was telling racy stories.
The rehearsal was interrupted. Romilly spotted Durville, who was in a corner, sharing some spicy stories.
"Durville, you can go. The second act will not be rehearsed to-day."
"Durville, you can leave. We won't be rehearsing the second act today."
Before leaving, the old actor went up to Nanteuil, to press her hand. Judging that this was the moment to assure her of his sympathy, he summoned up the tears to his eyes, as anyone condoling with her would have done in his place. But he did it admirably. The pupils of his eyes swam in their orbits, like the moon amid clouds. The corners of his lips were turned down in two deep furrows which prolonged them to the bottom of his chin. He appeared to be genuinely afflicted.
Before leaving, the old actor approached Nanteuil to shake her hand. Thinking this was the right moment to show her his support, he managed to summon tears to his eyes, just as anyone comforting her would have done. But he did it wonderfully. The pupils of his eyes shimmered in their sockets, like the moon behind clouds. The corners of his lips drooped in deep lines that extended down to his chin. He looked truly heartbroken.
"My poor darling," he sighed, "I pity you, I do indeed! To see one for whom one has experienced a—feeling—with whom one has—lived in intimacy—to see him carried off at a blow—a tragic blow—is hard, is terrible!"
"My poor darling," he sighed, "I really feel for you, I truly do! To watch someone you have strong feelings for—someone you’ve shared a close bond with—be taken away in an instant—a heartbreaking moment—is tough, it’s awful!"
And he extended his compassionate hands. Nanteuil, completely unnerved, and crushing her tiny handkerchief and her part in her hands, turned her back upon him, and hissed between her teeth:
And he stretched out his compassionate hands. Nanteuil, completely shaken, crumpled her small handkerchief and her piece in her hands, turned her back on him, and hissed between her teeth:
"Old idiot!"
"Old fool!"
Fagette passed her arm round her waist, and led her gently aside to the foot of Racine's statue, where she whispered into her ear:
Fagette wrapped her arm around her waist and gently guided her to the foot of Racine's statue, where she whispered in her ear:
"Listen to me, my dear. This affair must be completely hushed up. Everybody is talking about it. If you let people talk, they will brand you for life as Chevalier's widow."
"Listen to me, my dear. This situation needs to be kept under wraps. Everyone is talking about it. If you let people gossip, they will label you for life as Chevalier's widow."
Then, being something of a talker, she added:
Then, since she liked to chat, she added:
"I know you, I am your best friend. I know your value. But beware, Félicie: women are held at their own valuation."
"I know you, I'm your best friend. I know your worth. But be careful, Félicie: women are judged by how they see themselves."
Every one of Fagette's shafts told. Nanteuil, with fiery cheeks, held back her tears. Too young to possess or even to desire the prudence which comes to celebrated actresses when of an age to graduate as women of the world of fashion, she was full of self-esteem, and since she had known what it was to love another she was eager to efface everything unfashionable from her past; she felt that Chevalier, in killing himself for her sake, had behaved towards her publicly with a familiarity which made her ridiculous. Still unaware that all things fall into oblivion, and are lost in the swift current of our days, that all our actions flow like the waters of a river, between banks that have no memory, she pondered, irritated and dejected, at the feet of Jean Racine, who understood her grief.
Every one of Fagette's arrows hit home. Nanteuil, with flushed cheeks, held back her tears. Too young to have or even to want the wisdom that famous actresses gain when they mature into the world of fashion, she was filled with self-confidence. And since she had experienced love, she was eager to erase everything unfashionable from her past; she felt that Chevalier, by taking his own life for her, had acted towards her in a way that made her look foolish. Still unaware that everything fades away and is lost in the fast flow of time, that all our actions drift like a river between banks that have no memory, she sat there, frustrated and downcast, at the feet of Jean Racine, who understood her sorrow.
"Just look at her," said Madame Marie-Claire to young Delage. "She wants to cry. I understand her. A man killed himself for me. I was greatly upset by it. He was a count."
"Just look at her," said Madame Marie-Claire to young Delage. "She wants to cry. I get it. A man committed suicide for me. I was really shaken by it. He was a count."
"Well, begin again!" shouted Pradel. "Come now, Mademoiselle Nanteuil, your cue!"
"Alright, let's start over!" shouted Pradel. "Come on, Mademoiselle Nanteuil, it's your turn!"
Whereupon Nanteuil:
Where Nanteuil:
"'Cousin, I was so happy when I awoke this morning....'"
"'Cousin, I was so happy when I woke up this morning....'"
Suddenly, Madame Doulce appeared. Ponderous and mournful, she let fall the following words:
Suddenly, Madame Doulce showed up. Heavy and sad, she uttered these words:
"I have very sad news. The parish priest will not allow him to enter his church."
"I have some really sad news. The parish priest won't let him into his church."
As Chevalier had no relations left other than a sister, a working-woman at Pantin, Madame Doulce had undertaken to make arrangements for the funeral at the expense of the members of the company.
As Chevalier had no family left besides a sister, a working woman in Pantin, Madame Doulce took it upon herself to organize the funeral at the expense of the company members.
They gathered round her. She continued:
They gathered around her. She went on:
"The Church rejects him as though he were accurst! That's dreadful!"
"The Church rejects him as if he's cursed! That's terrible!"
"Why?" asked Romilly.
"Why?" Romilly asked.
Madame Doulce replied in a very low tone and as if reluctantly:
Madame Doulce responded in a very quiet voice, almost reluctantly:
"Because he committed suicide."
"Because he took his life."
"We must see to this," said Pradel.
"We need to take care of this," said Pradel.
Romilly displayed an eager desire to be of service.
Romilly showed a strong willingness to help.
"The curé knows me," he said. "He is a very decent fellow. I'll just run over to Saint-Étienne-du-Mont, and I'd be greatly surprised if——"
"The priest knows me," he said. "He's a really good guy. I'll just head over to Saint-Étienne-du-Mont, and I'd be really surprised if——"
Madame Doulce shook her head sadly:
Madame Doulce shook her head sadly:
"All is useless."
"Everything is pointless."
"All the same, we must have a religious service," said Romilly, with all the authority of a stage-manager.
"Still, we need to have a religious service," said Romilly, with all the authority of a stage manager.
"Quite so," said Madame Doulce.
"Exactly," said Madame Doulce.
Madame Marie-Claire, deeply exercised in her mind, was of opinion that the priests could be compelled to say a Mass.
Madame Marie-Claire, deeply troubled in her thoughts, believed that the priests could be forced to say a Mass.
"Let us keep cool," said Pradel, caressing his venerable beard. "Under Louis VIII the people broke in the doors of Saint-Roch, which had been closed to the coffin of Mademoiselle Raucourt. We live in other times, and under different circumstances. We must have recourse to gentler methods."
"Let's stay calm," said Pradel, stroking his old beard. "Back in Louis VIII's day, people stormed the doors of Saint-Roch, which had been shut to Mademoiselle Raucourt's coffin. We're living in different times and under different circumstances now. We need to resort to softer approaches."
Constantin Marc, seeing to his great regret that his play was abandoned, had likewise approached Madame Doulce; he inquired of her:
Constantin Marc, realizing with great regret that his play was left unfinished, had also spoken to Madame Doulce; he asked her:
"Why should you want Chevalier to be blessed by the Church? Personally, I am a Catholic. With me, it is not a faith, it is a system, and I look upon it as a duty to participate in all the external practices of worship. I am on the side of all authorities. I am for the judge, the soldier, the priest. I cannot therefore be suspected of favouring civil burials. But I hardly understand why you persist in offering the curé of Saint-Étienne-du-Mont a dead body which he repudiates. Now why do you want this unfortunate Chevalier to go to church?"
"Why do you want Chevalier to be blessed by the Church? Personally, I’m Catholic. For me, it’s not just a belief; it’s a system, and I see it as my duty to engage in all the external practices of worship. I’m aligned with all authorities. I support the judge, the soldier, and the priest. So, I can’t be suspected of favoring civil burials. However, I really don’t understand why you keep offering the priest of Saint-Étienne-du-Mont a dead body that he rejects. So, why do you want this unfortunate Chevalier to go to church?"
"Why?" replied Madame Doulce. "For the salvation of his soul and because it is more seemly."
"Why?" replied Madame Doulce. "For the salvation of his soul and because it looks better."
"What would be seemly," replied Constantin Marc, "would be to obey the laws of the Church, which excommunicates suicides."
"What would be appropriate," replied Constantin Marc, "would be to follow the Church's rules, which excommunicate suicides."
"Monsieur Constantin Marc, have you read Les Soirées de Neuilly?" inquired Pradel, who was an ardent collector of old books and a great reader. "What, you have not read Les Soirées de Neuilly, by Monsieur de Fongeray? You have missed something. It is a curious book, which can still be met with sometimes on the quays. It is adorned by a lithograph of Henry Monnier's, which is, I don't know why, a caricature of Stendhal. Fongeray is the pseudonym of two Liberals of the Restoration, Dittmer and Cavé. The work consists of comedies and dramas which cannot be acted; but which contain some most interesting scenes representing manners and customs. You will read in it how, in the reign of Charles X, a vicar of one of the Paris churches, the Abbé Mouchaud, would refuse burial to a pious lady, and would, at all costs, grant it to an atheist. Madame d'Hautefeuille was religious, but she held some national property. At her death, she received the ministrations of a Jansenist priest. For this reason, after her death, the Abbé Mouchaud refused to receive her into the church in which she had passed her life. At the same time, in the same parish, Monsieur Dubourg, a big banker, was good enough to die. In his will he stipulated that he [Pg 106] should be borne straight to the cemetery. 'He is a Catholic,' reflected the Abbé Mouchaud, 'he belongs to us.' Quickly making a parcel of his stole and surplice, he rushed off to the dead man's house, administered extreme unction, and brought him into his church."
"Monsieur Constantin Marc, have you read Les Soirées de Neuilly?" inquired Pradel, who was an avid collector of old books and a keen reader. "What, you haven't read Les Soirées de Neuilly by Monsieur de Fongeray? You've missed out on something. It's a fascinating book that you can still sometimes find on the quays. It features a lithograph by Henry Monnier that, for some reason, is a caricature of Stendhal. Fongeray is the pen name of two Liberals from the Restoration period, Dittmer and Cavé. The work includes comedies and dramas that can’t be performed, but contain some really interesting scenes depicting manners and customs. You’ll read about how, during the reign of Charles X, a vicar from one of the Paris churches, Abbé Mouchaud, refused to bury a devout lady while, at all costs, he granted burial to an atheist. Madame d'Hautefeuille was religious, but she owned some national property. When she died, she received the services of a Jansenist priest. For this reason, after her death, Abbé Mouchaud refused to let her into the church where she had lived her life. At the same time, in the same parish, Monsieur Dubourg, a wealthy banker, was considerate enough to pass away. In his will, he insisted that he should be taken straight to the cemetery. 'He's a Catholic,' thought Abbé Mouchaud, 'he belongs to us.' Quickly grabbing his stole and surplice, he rushed over to the dead man's house, administered last rites, and brought him into his church."
"Well," replied Constantin Marc, "that vicar was an excellent politician. Atheists are not formidable enemies of the Church. They do not count as adversaries. They cannot raise a Church against her, and they do not dream of doing so. Atheists have existed at all times among the heads and princes of the Church, and many of them have rendered signal services to the Papacy. On the other hand, whoever does not submit strictly to ecclesiastical discipline and breaks away from tradition upon a single point, whoever sets up a faith against the faith, an opinion, a practices against the accepted opinion and the common practice, is a factor of disorder, a menace of peril, and must be extirpated. This the vicar, Mouchaud, understood. He should have been made a Cardinal."
"Well," replied Constantin Marc, "that vicar was a skilled politician. Atheists are not serious threats to the Church. They don't really count as opponents. They can't form a Church to challenge her, and they don't even think about it. Atheists have always been present among the leaders and officials of the Church, and many have provided significant support to the Papacy. On the other hand, anyone who doesn't strictly follow church rules and breaks away from tradition on even one point, anyone who creates a belief against the faith, or an opinion and practices that go against the accepted beliefs and common practices, is a source of chaos, a risk of danger, and must be eliminated. This is what the vicar, Mouchaud, understood. He should have been made a Cardinal."
Madame Doulce, who had been clever enough not to tell everything in a breath, went on to say:
Madame Doulce, who was smart enough not to spill everything at once, continued:
"I did not allow myself to be discomfited by the opposition of Monsieur le Curé. I begged, I entreated. And his answer was: 'We owe respectful obedience to the Ordinary. Go to the [Pg 107] Archbishop's Palace. I will do as Monseigneur bids me.' There is nothing left for me but to follow this advice. I'm hurrying off to the Archbishop's Palace."
"I didn't let Monsieur le Curé's opposition get to me. I begged and pleaded. His response was: 'We must show respectful obedience to the Ordinary. Go to the [Pg 107] Archbishop's Palace. I'll do as Monseigneur instructs.' I have no choice but to take this advice. I'm on my way to the Archbishop's Palace."
"Let us get to work," said Pradel.
"Let’s get to work," said Pradel.
Romilly called to Nanteuil:
Romilly called out to Nanteuil:
"Nanteuil! Come, Nanteuil, begin your whole scene over again."
"Nanteuil! Come on, Nanteuil, start your entire scene over."
And Nanteuil said once more:
And Nanteuil said again:
"'Cousin, I was so happy when I awoke this morning....'"
"'Cousin, I was so happy when I woke up this morning....'"
CHAPTER IX
he prominence given by the Press to the suicide of the Boulevard de
Villiers rendered the negotiations between the Stage and the Church all
the more difficult. The reporters had given the fullest details of the
event, and it was pointed out by the Abbé Mirabelle, the Archbishop's
second vicar, that to open the doors of the parish church to Chevalier,
as matters then stood, was to proclaim that excommunicated persons were
entitled to the prayers of the Church.
The attention the Press gave to the suicide on Boulevard de Villiers made negotiations between the Stage and the Church even more challenging. The reporters shared all the details of the incident, and Abbé Mirabelle, the Archbishop's second vicar, pointed out that opening the doors of the parish church to Chevalier, given the current situation, would imply that excommunicated individuals had the right to the Church's prayers.
But for that matter, Monsieur Mirabelle himself, who in this affair displayed great wisdom and circumspection, paved the way to a solution.
But for that reason, Monsieur Mirabelle himself, who showed considerable wisdom and caution in this matter, cleared the path to a solution.
"You must fully understand," he observed to Madame Doulce, "that the opinion of the newspapers cannot affect our decision. We are absolutely indifferent to it, and we do not disturb ourselves in the slightest degree, no matter what fifty public sheets may say about the unfortunate young fellow. Whether the journalists have told the truth or distorted it is their affair, not mine. I do not know [Pg 109] and I do not wish to know what they have written. But the fact of the suicide is notorious. You cannot dispute it. It would now be advisable to investigate closely, and by the light of science, the circumstances in which the deed was committed. Do not be surprised by my thus invoking the aid of science. Science has no better friend than religion. Now medical science may in the present case be of great assistance to us. You will understand in a moment. Mother Church ejects the suicide from her bosom only when his act is an act of despair. The madmen who attempt their own lives are not those who have lost all hope, and the Church does not deny them her prayers; she prays for all who are unfortunate. Now, if it could be proved that this poor boy had acted under the influence of a high fever or of a mental disorder, if a medical man were in a position to certify that the poor fellow was not in possession of his faculties when he slew himself with his own hand, there would be no obstacle to the celebration of a religious service."
"You need to understand," he said to Madame Doulce, "that the opinion of the newspapers doesn't influence our decision. We are completely indifferent to it, and we aren't disturbed at all by what fifty publications might say about the unfortunate young man. Whether the journalists have told the truth or twisted it is their problem, not mine. I don’t know and I don’t want to know what they've written. But the fact of the suicide is well known. You can’t dispute that. It would be wise to closely investigate the circumstances surrounding the act, using the insight of science. Don’t be surprised that I’m calling on science for help. Science has no better ally than religion. Now, medical science could really help us in this case. You’ll see why in a moment. The Church only disowns someone who takes their own life when their action is one of despair. Those who try to end their lives are not necessarily hopeless, and the Church doesn’t deny them its prayers; it prays for all who are suffering. Now, if it could be shown that this poor boy acted under the influence of a high fever or a mental disorder, if a doctor could certify that he wasn’t in his right mind when he took his own life, there would be no barrier to having a religious service."
Having hearkened to the words of Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle, Madame Doulce hastened back to the theatre. The rehearsal of La Grille was over. She found Pradel in his office with a couple of young actresses, one of whom was soliciting an engagement, the other, leave of absence. He refused, in conformity with his principle never to grant a [Pg 110] request until he had first refused it. In this way he bestowed a value upon his most trifling concessions. His glistening eyes and his patriarchal beard, his manner, at once amorous and paternal, gave him a resemblance to Lot, as we see him between his two daughters in the prints of the Old Masters. Standing on the table was an amphora of gilt pasteboard which fostered this illusion.
Having listened to what Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle had to say, Madame Doulce rushed back to the theater. The rehearsal of La Grille was done. She found Pradel in his office with a couple of young actresses; one was asking for a job, while the other was requesting time off. He turned them down, following his rule of never granting a request until he had first refused it. This way, he added value to even his smallest concessions. His bright eyes and his patriarchal beard, along with his blend of flirtatious and fatherly demeanor, made him look like Lot, as depicted between his two daughters in classic artwork. On the table stood an amphora made of shiny cardboard, which added to this illusion.
"It can't be done," he was telling each of them. "It really can't be done, my child——Well, after all, look in to-morrow."
"It can't be done," he was telling each of them. "It really can't be done, my child—Well, after all, look tomorrow."
Having dismissed them, he inquired, as he signed some letters:
Having sent them away, he asked, while signing some letters:
"Well, Madame Doulce, what news do you bring?"
"Well, Madame Doulce, what news do you have?"
Constantin Marc, appearing with Nanteuil, hastily exclaimed:
Constantin Marc, appearing with Nanteuil, quickly exclaimed:
"What about my scenery, Monsieur Pradel?"
"What about my scenery, Mr. Pradel?"
Thereupon he described for the twentieth time the landscape, upon which the curtain ought to rise.
Thereafter, he described for the twentieth time the landscape where the curtain should rise.
"In the foreground, an old park. The trunks of the great trees, on the north side, are green with moss. The dampness of the soil must be felt."
"In the foreground, there's an old park. The trunks of the large trees on the north side are covered in green moss. You can really feel the dampness of the soil."
And the manager replied:
And the manager responded:
"You may rest assured that everything that can be done will be done, and that it will be most appropriate. Well, Madame Doulce, what news?"
"You can be sure that everything that can be done will be done, and it will be just right. So, Madame Doulce, what's the news?"
"There is a glimmer of hope," she replied.
"There’s a glimmer of hope," she said.
"At the back, in a slight mist," said the author, "the grey stones and the slate roofs of the Abbaye-aux-Dames."
"At the back, in a light mist," said the author, "the gray stones and the slate roofs of the Abbaye-aux-Dames."
"Quite so. Pray be seated, Madame Doulce; you have my attention."
"Absolutely. Please have a seat, Madame Doulce; I’m all ears."
"I was most courteously received at the Archbishop's Palace," said Madame Doulce.
"I was warmly welcomed at the Archbishop's Palace," said Madame Doulce.
"Monsieur Pradel, it is imperative that the walls of the Abbaye should appear inscrutable, of great thickness, and yet subtilized by the mists of coming night. A pale-gold sky——"
"Monsieur Pradel, it's essential that the walls of the Abbey look mysterious, thick, and yet softened by the approaching night mist. A pale-gold sky——"
"Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle," resumed Madame Doulce, "is a priest of the highest distinction——"
"Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle," Madame Doulce continued, "is a priest of the highest distinction——"
"Monsieur Marc, are you particularly keen on your pale-gold sky?" inquired the stage manager. "Go on, Madame Doulce, go on, I am listening to you."
"Mister Marc, are you especially fond of your pale-gold sky?" asked the stage manager. "Go ahead, Madame Doulce, keep going, I'm listening to you."
"And exquisitely polite. He made a delicate allusion to the indiscretions of the newspapers——"
"And extremely polite. He made a subtle reference to the gossip of the newspapers——"
At this moment Monsieur Marchegeay, the stage manager, burst into the room. His green eyes were glittering, and his red moustache was dancing like a flame. The words rolled off his tongue:
At that moment, Monsieur Marchegeay, the stage manager, burst into the room. His green eyes were sparkling, and his red mustache was flickering like a flame. The words flowed effortlessly from his mouth:
"They are at it again! Lydie, the little super, is screaming like a stoat on the stairs. She says Delage tried to violate her. [Pg 112] It's at least the tenth time in a month that she has come out with that story. This is an infernal nuisance!"
"They're at it again! Lydie, the little troublemaker, is screaming like crazy on the stairs. She claims Delage tried to hurt her. [Pg 112] It's at least the tenth time this month that she's come up with that story. This is an absolute headache!"
"Such conduct cannot be tolerated in a house like this," said Pradel. "You'll have to fine Delage. Pray continue, Madame Doulce."
"Such behavior can't be accepted in a place like this," Pradel said. "You'll need to fine Delage. Please go on, Madame Doulce."
"Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle explained to me in the clearest manner that suicide is an act of despair."
"Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle clearly explained to me that suicide is an act of despair."
But Constantin Marc was inquiring of Pradel with interest, whether Lydie, the little super, was pretty.
But Constantin Marc was asking Pradel with interest if Lydie, the little supervisor, was pretty.
"You have seen her in La Nuit du 23 octobre; she plays the woman of the people who, in the Plaine de Grenelle, is buying wafers of Madame Ravaud."
"You've seen her in La Nuit du 23 octobre; she plays the people's woman who, in the Plaine de Grenelle, is buying wafers from Madame Ravaud."
"A very pretty girl, to my thinking," said Constantin Marc.
"A really beautiful girl, in my opinion," said Constantin Marc.
"Undoubtedly," responded Pradel. "But she would be still prettier if her ankles weren't like stakes."
"Definitely," Pradel replied. "But she would be even prettier if her ankles weren't so thick."
And Constantin Marc musingly replied.
And Constantin Marc replied thoughtfully.
"And Delage has outraged her. That fellow possesses the sense of love. Love is a simple and primitive act. It's a struggle, it's hatred. Violence is necessary to it. Love by mutual consent is merely a tedious obligation."
"And Delage has upset her. That guy really understands love. Love is a basic and primal act. It's a fight, it's resentment. Violence is part of it. Love by mutual agreement is just a boring duty."
And he cried, greatly excited.
And he yelled, super excited.
"Delage is prodigious!"
"Delage is amazing!"
"Don't get yourself into a fix," said Pradel.
"Don't get yourself into trouble," said Pradel.
"This same little Lydie entices my actors into her dressing-room, and then all of a sudden she screams out that she is being outraged in order to get hush-money out of them. It's her lover who has taught her the trick, and takes the coin. You were saying, Madame Doulce——"
"This same little Lydie lures my actors into her dressing room, and then all of a sudden she screams that she's being harassed to extort hush money from them. It's her boyfriend who taught her this trick and collects the cash. You were saying, Madame Doulce——"
"After a long and interesting conversation," resumed Madame Doulce, "Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle suggested a favourable solution. He gave me to understand that, in order to remove all difficulties, it would be sufficient for a physician to certify that Chevalier was not in full possession of his faculties, and that he was not responsible for his acts."
"After a long and engaging conversation," Madame Doulce continued, "Monsieur l'Abbé Mirabelle proposed a favorable solution. He implied that, to clear up any obstacles, it would be enough for a doctor to confirm that Chevalier wasn’t fully in control of his faculties and that he wasn’t responsible for his actions."
"But," observed Pradel, "Chevalier wasn't insane. He was in full possession of his faculties."
"But," Pradel noted, "Chevalier wasn't insane. He was completely in control of his faculties."
"It's not for us to say," replied Madame Doulce. "What do we know about it?"
"It's not up to us to decide," replied Madame Doulce. "What do we really know about it?"
"No," said Nanteuil, "he was not in full possession of his faculties."
"No," Nanteuil said, "he wasn't fully in control of his mind."
Pradel shrugged his shoulders.
Pradel just shrugged.
"After all, it's possible. Insanity and reason, it's a matter of appreciation. To whom could we apply for a certificate?"
"After all, it's possible. Insanity and reason are just a matter of perspective. Who can we ask for a certificate?"
Madame Doulce and Pradel called to mind three physicians in succession; but they were unable to find the address of the first; the second was bad-tempered, and it was decided that the third was dead.
Madame Doulce and Pradel thought of three doctors in a row; however, they couldn't locate the address of the first one, the second was grumpy, and it was concluded that the third had died.
Nanteuil suggested that they should approach Dr. Trublet.
Nanteuil suggested that they should talk to Dr. Trublet.
"That's an idea!" exclaimed Pradel. "Let us ask a certificate of Dr. Socrates. What's to-day? Friday. It's his day for consultations. We shall find him at home."
"That's a great idea!" Pradel said excitedly. "Let's get a certificate from Dr. Socrates. What day is it today? Friday. That's his consultation day. We should be able to find him at home."
Dr. Trublet lived in an old house at the top of the Rue de Seine. Pradel took Nanteuil with him, with the idea that Socrates would refuse nothing to a pretty woman. Constantin Marc, who could not live, when in Paris, save in the company of theatrical folk, accompanied them. The Chevalier affair was beginning to amuse him. He found it theatrical, that is, appropriate to theatrical performers. Although the hour for consultations was over, the doctor's sitting-room was still full of people in search of healing. Trublet dismissed them, and received his theatrical friends in his private room. He was standing in front of a table encumbered with books and papers. An adjustable arm-chair, infirm and cynical, displayed itself by the window. The director of the Odéon set forth the object of his call, and ended by saying:
Dr. Trublet lived in an old house at the top of Rue de Seine. Pradel brought Nanteuil along, thinking that Socrates would agree to anything for a pretty woman. Constantin Marc, who could only hang out with theater people when he was in Paris, joined them. He found the Chevalier situation starting to entertain him. He thought it had a theatrical vibe, which suited performers. Even though consultation hours were over, the doctor's waiting room was still crowded with people seeking treatment. Trublet sent them away and welcomed his theater friends into his private room. He stood in front of a table cluttered with books and papers. An old, cynical armchair was set by the window. The director of the Odéon explained the reason for his visit and concluded by saying:
"Chevalier's funeral service cannot be celebrated in the church unless you certify that the unfortunate young man was not altogether sane."
"Chevalier's funeral service can't be held in the church unless you confirm that the unfortunate young man wasn't completely sane."
Dr. Trublet declared that Chevalier might very well do without a religious service.
Dr. Trublet stated that Chevalier could easily do without a religious service.
"Adrienne Lecouvreur, who was of more account than Chevalier, did without one. Mademoiselle Monime had no Mass said for her after her death, and, as you are aware, she was denied 'the honour of rotting in a nasty cemetery in the company of all the beggars of the quarter.' She was none the worse off for that."
"Adrienne Lecouvreur, who was more significant than the Chevalier, managed without one. Mademoiselle Monime didn’t have a Mass said for her after she died, and, as you know, she was denied 'the privilege of decomposing in a dirty cemetery alongside all the beggars of the neighborhood.' It didn’t affect her that much."
"You are not ignorant of the fact, Dr. Socrates," replied Pradel, "that actors and actresses are the most religious of people. My company would be deeply grieved if they could not be present at the celebration of a Mass for their colleague. They have already secured the co-operation of several lyric artists, and the music will be very fine."
"You know, Dr. Socrates," Pradel replied, "that actors and actresses are some of the most devoted people. My team would be really upset if they couldn't attend the Mass celebration for their friend. They've already gotten several singers on board, and the music will be great."
"Now that's a reason," said Trublet "I do not gainsay it. Charles Monselet, who was a witty fellow, was reflecting, only a few hours before his death, on his musical Mass, 'I know a great many singers at the Opéra,' he said, 'I shall have a Pie Jésu aux truffes.' But, as on this occasion the Archbishop does not authorize a spiritual concert, it would be more convenient to postpone it to some other occasion."
"Now that's a good point," said Trublet. "I can't argue with that. Charles Monselet, who was quite the witty guy, was thinking, just a few hours before he passed away, about his musical Mass. He said, 'I know a lot of singers at the opera; I should have a Pie Jésu aux truffes.' But since the Archbishop isn't allowing a spiritual concert this time, it would be better to hold it on another occasion."
"As far as I am concerned," replied the director, "I have no religious belief. But I consider that the Church and the Stage are two great social powers, and that it is beneficial that they should be friends and allies. For my own part, I never lose [Pg 116] an opportunity of sealing the alliance. This coming Lent, I shall have Durville read one of Bourdaloue's sermons. I receive a State subsidy. I must observe the Concordat. Moreover, whatever people may say, Catholicism is the most acceptable form of religious indifference."
"As far as I'm concerned," replied the director, "I don't have any religious beliefs. But I think that the Church and the Stage are two significant social influences, and it's beneficial that they work together and support each other. For my part, I always take the chance to strengthen that alliance. This upcoming Lent, I'm going to have Durville read one of Bourdaloue's sermons. I receive government funding, so I have to follow the Concordat. Besides, no matter what people say, Catholicism is the most acceptable form of religious indifference."
"Well then," objected Constantin Marc, "since you wish to show deference to the Church, why do you foist upon her, by force or by subterfuge, a coffin which she doesn't want?"
"Well then," protested Constantin Marc, "if you want to respect the Church, why are you forcing a coffin on her that she doesn’t want?"
The doctor spoke in a similar strain, and ended by saying.
The doctor continued in a similar tone and concluded by saying.
"My dear Pradel, don't you have anything more to do with the matter."
"My dear Pradel, don't you have anything else to do with this situation?"
"Whereupon Nanteuil, her eyes blazing, her voice sibilant, cried:
"Then Nanteuil, her eyes blazing, her voice hissing, shouted:
"He must go to church, doctor; sign what is asked of you, write that he was not in possession of his faculties, I entreat you."
"He needs to go to church, doctor; please sign what’s required, and state that he wasn't in his right mind, I beg you."
There was not religion alone at the back of this desire. Blended with it was an intimate feeling, an obscure background of old beliefs, of which she herself was unaware. She hoped that if he were carried into the church, and sprinkled with holy water, Chevalier would be appeased, would become one of the peaceful dead, and would no longer torment her. She feared, on the other hand, that if he were deprived of benediction and prayers he [Pg 117] would perpetually hover about her, accursed and maleficent. And, more simply still, in her dread of seeing him again, she was anxious that the priests should take good care to bury him, and that everybody should attend the funeral, so that he should be all the more thoroughly buried; as thoroughly buried, in short, as it was possible to be. Her lips trembled and she wrung her hands.
There wasn’t just a religious motivation behind this longing. Along with it was a deep-seated feeling, a hidden set of old beliefs that she didn't even realize she had. She hoped that if he was brought into the church and sprinkled with holy water, Chevalier would find peace, become one of the serene dead, and stop haunting her. On the flip side, she worried that if he didn't receive blessings and prayers, he would remain a lingering spirit, cursed and harmful. More simply, out of her fear of encountering him again, she wanted the priests to make sure he was buried properly and that everyone would show up to the funeral, so he would be buried as thoroughly as possible. Her lips trembled as she wrung her hands.
Trublet, who had long graduated in human nature, watched her with interest. He understood and took a special interest in the female of the human machine. This particular specimen filled him with joy. His snub-nosed face beamed with delight as he watched her.
Trublet, who had long mastered human nature, watched her with curiosity. He understood and had a particular fascination with the female of the human species. This specific individual brought him great joy. His snub-nosed face lit up with happiness as he observed her.
"Don't be uneasy, child. There is always a way of coming to an understanding with the Church. What you are asking me is not within my powers; I am a lay doctor. But we have to-day, thank God, religious physicians who send their patients to the ecclesiastical waters, and whose special function is to attest miraculous cures. I know one who lives in this part of the town; I'll give you his address. Go and see him; the Bishop will refuse him nothing. He will arrange the matter for you."
"Don't worry, kid. There's always a way to find common ground with the Church. What you're asking is beyond my abilities; I’m just a lay doctor. But thankfully, we have religious doctors nowadays who refer their patients to holy sites and are specifically tasked with confirming miraculous healings. I know one who lives in this area; I'll give you his address. Go see him; the Bishop won't deny him anything. He'll sort it out for you."
"Not at all," said Pradel. "You always attended poor Chevalier. It is for you to give a certificate."
"Not at all," Pradel said. "You always looked after poor Chevalier. It's up to you to provide a certificate."
Romilly agreed:
Romilly was on board:
"Of course, doctor. You are the physician to the theatre. We must wash our dirty linen at home."
"Of course, doctor. You're the physician for the theater. We should handle our dirty laundry in private."
At the same time, Nanteuil turned upon Socrates a gaze of entreaty.
At the same time, Nanteuil looked at Socrates with a pleading expression.
"But," objected Trublet, "what do you want me to say?"
"But," Trublet replied, "what do you want me to say?"
"It's very simple," Pradel replied. "Say that he was to a certain extent irresponsible."
"It's really straightforward," Pradel replied. "Just say that he was somewhat irresponsible."
"You are simply asking me to speak like a police surgeon. It's expecting too much of me."
"You’re just asking me to talk like a police surgeon. That’s way too much to expect from me."
"You believe then, doctor, that Chevalier was fully and entirely morally responsible?"
"You really think, doctor, that Chevalier was completely and totally morally responsible?"
"Quite the contrary. I am of opinion that he was not in the least responsible for his actions."
"On the contrary, I believe he wasn't at all responsible for his actions."
"Well, then?"
"What's next?"
"But I also consider that, in this respect, he differed in nowise from you, myself, and all other men. My judicial colleagues distinguish between individual responsibilities. They have procedures by which they recognize full responsibilities, and those which lack one or more fractional parts. It is a remarkable fact, moreover, that in order to get a poor wretch condemned they always find him fully responsible. May we not therefore consider that their own responsibility is full—like the moon?"
"But I also think that, in this regard, he was no different from you, me, and all other men. My fellow judges make a distinction between individual responsibilities. They have processes to identify those who are fully responsible and those who are lacking in one or more aspects. It’s also interesting that, to get a poor soul condemned, they always manage to label him as fully responsible. Can we not then argue that their own responsibility is also complete—like the moon?"
And Dr. Socrates proceeded to unfold before [Pg 119] the astonished stage folk a comprehensive theory of universal determinism. He went back to the origins of life, and, like the Silenus of Virgil, who, smeared with the juice of mulberries, sang to the shepherds of Sicily and the naiad Aglaia of the origin of the world, he broke out into a flood of words:
And Dr. Socrates began to reveal to [Pg 119] the amazed stage performers a complete theory of universal determinism. He traced back to the beginnings of life, and, like Silenus from Virgil, who, covered in mulberry juice, sang to the shepherds of Sicily and the nymph Aglaia about the world's origins, he burst into a stream of words:
"To call upon a poor wretch to answer for his actions! Why, even when the solar system was still no more than a pale nebula, forming, in the ether, a fragile halo, whose circumference was a thousand times greater than the orbit of Neptune, we had all of us, for ages past, been fully conditioned, determined and irrevocably destined, and your responsibility, my dear child, my responsibility, Chevalier's, and that of all men, had been, not mitigated, but abolished beforehand. All our movements, the result of previous movements of matter, are subject to the laws which govern the cosmic forces, and the human mechanism is merely a particular instance of the universal mechanism."
"To ask a poor soul to take responsibility for their actions! Even when the solar system was just a faint nebula, forming a delicate halo in space, with a circumference a thousand times larger than Neptune's orbit, we had all, for ages, been completely shaped, determined, and unchangeably destined. Your responsibility, my dear child, my responsibility, Chevalier's, and that of all humanity, was not lessened, but eliminated from the start. All our movements, the result of earlier movements of matter, follow the laws that govern cosmic forces, and the human mechanism is just a specific example of the universal mechanism."
Pointing to a locked cupboard, he proceeded.
Pointing to a locked cabinet, he continued.
"I have there, contained in bottles, that which would transform, destroy, or excite to frenzy the will of fifty thousand men."
"I have here, stored in bottles, something that could transform, destroy, or drive fifty thousand men to madness."
"Wouldn't be playing the game," objected Pradel.
"Wouldn't be playing the game," Pradel protested.
"I agree, it wouldn't be playing the game. [Pg 120] But these substances are not essentially laboratory products. The laboratory combines, it does not create anything. These substances are scattered throughout nature. In their free state, they surround and enter into us, they determine our will, they circumscribe our freedom of device, which is merely the illusion engendered within us by the ignorance of our determinations."
"I agree, that wouldn't really be playing the game. [Pg 120] But these substances aren't just products of the lab. The lab mixes things together; it doesn't create anything new. These substances are found throughout nature. In their natural form, they surround us and enter our bodies, shaping our desires and limiting our sense of freedom, which is simply an illusion created by our ignorance of the underlying forces that drive us."
"What on earth do you mean?" asked Pradel, taken aback.
"What do you mean?" asked Pradel, surprised.
"I mean that our will is an illusion caused by our ignorance of the causes which compel us to exert our will. That which wills within us is not ourselves, but myriads of cells of prodigious activity, of which we know nothing, which are unaware of us, which are ignorant of one another, but which nevertheless constitute us. By means of their restlessness they produce innumerable currents which we call our passions, our thoughts, our joys, our sufferings, our desires, our fears, and our will. We believe that we are our own masters, while a mere drop of alcohol stimulates, and then benumbs the very elements by which we feel and will."
"I mean that our will is just an illusion created by our ignorance of the factors that drive us to act. What drives us isn't really ourselves, but countless active cells that we know nothing about, which are completely unaware of us and each other, yet they make up who we are. Through their restlessness, they generate countless forces that we label as our passions, thoughts, joys, sufferings, desires, fears, and will. We think we're in control, while a tiny drop of alcohol can awaken and then dull the very elements that give us our feelings and will."
Constantin Marc interrupted the physician:
Constantin Marc interrupted the doctor:
"Excuse me! Since you are speaking of the action of alcohol, I should like your advice on the subject. I am in the habit of drinking a small [Pg 121] glass of Armagnac brandy after each meal. That's not too much, is it?"
"Excuse me! Since you're talking about the effects of alcohol, I’d like your opinion on this topic. I usually have a small glass of Armagnac brandy after every meal. That’s not too much, right?"
"It's a great deal too much. Alcohol is a poison. If you have a bottle of brandy at home, fling it out of the window."
"It's way too much. Alcohol is toxic. If you have a bottle of brandy at home, throw it out the window."
Pradel was pondering. He considered that in suppressing will and responsibility in all human things Dr. Socrates was doing him a personal injury.
Pradel was thinking. He believed that by eliminating will and responsibility from everything human, Dr. Socrates was personally harming him.
"You may say what you like. Will and responsibility are not illusions. They are tangible and powerful realities. I know how the terms of my contract bind me, and I impose my will on others."
"You can say whatever you want. Will and responsibility are not just illusions. They are real and impactful truths. I understand how the terms of my contract hold me accountable, and I assert my will over others."
And he added with some bitterness:
And he added, a bit bitterly:
"I believe in the will, in moral responsibility, in the distinction between good and evil. Doubtless these are, according to you, stupid ideas."
"I believe in free will, in moral responsibility, and in the difference between good and evil. I'm sure you think these are foolish ideas."
"They are indeed stupid ideas," replied the physician, "but they are very suitable to us, since we are mere animals. We are for ever forgetting this. They are stupid, venerable, wholesome ideas. Men have felt that, without these ideas, they would all go mad. They had only the choice between stupidity and madness. Very reasonably they chose stupidity. Such is the foundation of moral ideas."
"They are definitely dumb ideas," replied the doctor, "but they fit us perfectly since we are just animals. We keep forgetting this. They are foolish, old-fashioned, and healthy ideas. People have realized that without these ideas, they would all go insane. They only had the option between being stupid or going crazy. They sensibly chose stupidity. That’s the basis of moral ideas."
"What a paradox!" exclaimed Romilly.
"What a contradiction!" exclaimed Romilly.
The physician calmly proceeded:
The doctor calmly continued:
"The distinction between good and evil in human societies has never emerged from the grossest empiricism. It was constituted in a wholly practical spirit and as a simple convenience. We do not trouble ourselves about it where cut-glass or a tree is concerned. We practise moral indifference with regard to animals. We practise it in the case of savage races. This enables us to exterminate them without remorse. That's what is known as the colonial policy. Nor do we find that believers exact a high degree of morality from their god. In the present state of society, they would not willingly admit that he was lecherous or compromised himself with women; but they do think it fitting that he should be vindictive and cruel. Morality is a mutual agreement to keep what we possess: land, houses, furniture, women, and our lives. It does not imply, in the case of those who bow to it, any particular intelligence or character. It is instinctive and ferocious. Written law follows it closely, and is in more or less harmonious agreement with it. Hence we see that great-hearted men, or men of brilliant genius, have almost all been accused of impiety, and, like Socrates, the son of Phenaretes, and Benoît Malon, have been smitten by the tribunals of their country. And it may be stated that a man who has not, at [Pg 123] the very least, been sentenced to imprisonment does little credit to the land of his fathers."
The difference between good and evil in human societies has never come from the most basic experiences. It was formed out of practicality and convenience. We don’t really care about it when it comes to cut glass or a tree. We show moral indifference towards animals and towards indigenous peoples, which allows us to eliminate them without guilt. That’s what’s known as colonial policy. Believers also don’t demand a very high level of morality from their god. In today’s society, they wouldn’t want to admit he was lustful or involved with women, but they do think it’s acceptable for him to be vengeful and cruel. Morality is basically an agreement to keep what we have: land, houses, furniture, women, and our lives. It doesn’t require, from those who follow it, any particular intelligence or character. It’s instinctual and brutal. Written law closely follows it and generally aligns with it. Thus, we see that great-hearted individuals or brilliant geniuses have almost all been accused of impiety, and like Socrates, son of Phenaretes, and Benoît Malon, have faced the courts of their country. It can be said that a man who hasn’t, at the very least, been sentenced to prison doesn’t bring much honor to his homeland. [Pg 123]
"There are exceptions," remarked Pradel.
"There are exceptions," said Pradel.
"Few," replied Dr. Trublet.
"Not many," replied Dr. Trublet.
But Nanteuil, pursuing her idea, remarked.
But Nanteuil, continuing with her thought, pointed out.
"My little Socrates, you can very well certify that he was insane. It is the truth. He was not sane, I know it only too well."
"My little Socrates, you can definitely confirm that he was crazy. It's the truth. He wasn't sane, I know that all too clearly."
"No doubt he was mad, my dear child. But it is a question of determining whether he was madder than other men. The entire history of humanity, replete with tortures, ecstasies, and massacres, is the history of raving, demented creatures."
"No doubt he was crazy, my dear child. But it's a matter of figuring out if he was crazier than other men. The whole history of humanity, filled with suffering, joy, and violence, is the story of insane, disturbed beings."
"Doctor," inquired Constantin Marc, "are you by chance one of those who do not admire War? It is nevertheless a magnificent thing, when you come to think of it. The animals merely eat one another. Men have conceived the idea of beautiful massacres. They have learnt to kill one another in glittering cuirasses, in helmets topped with plumes, or maned with scarlet. By the use of artillery, and the art of fortification, they have introduced chemistry and mathematics among the necessary means of destruction. War is a sublime invention. And, since the extermination of human beings appears to us the only object of life, the wisdom of man resides in this, that he has made [Pg 124] this extermination a delight and a splendour. After all, doctor, you cannot deny that murder is a law of nature, and that it is consequently divine."
"Doctor," asked Constantin Marc, "do you happen to be one of those people who don't admire war? It's actually magnificent when you really think about it. Animals just eat each other. Humans have come up with the idea of beautiful massacres. They've learned to kill each other while wearing shiny armor, helmets with feathers, or adorned in red. Through artillery and fortifications, they've brought chemistry and math into the necessary tools of destruction. War is a remarkable invention. And since the extermination of human beings seems to us the only purpose in life, the wisdom of man lies in the fact that he has made [Pg 124] this extermination a pleasure and a spectacle. After all, doctor, you can't deny that murder is a law of nature, and that makes it divine."
To which Dr. Socrates replied:
Dr. Socrates replied:
"We are only miserable animals, and yet we are our own providence and our own gods. The lower animals, whose immemorial reign preceded our own upon this planet, have transformed it by their genius and their courage. The insects have traced roads, excavated the soil, hollowed the trunks of trees and rocks, built dwellings, founded cities, metamorphosed the soil, the air, and the waters. The labour of the humblest of these, that of the madrepores, has created islands and continents. Every material change produces a moral change, since morals depend upon environment. The transformation to which man in his turn has subjected the earth is undoubtedly more profound and more harmonious than the transformation wrought by other animals. Why should not humanity succeed in changing nature to the extent of making it pacific? Why should not humanity, miserably puny though it is and will be, succeed, some day, in suppressing, or at least in controlling the struggle for life? Why indeed should not humanity abolish the law of murder? We may expect a great deal from chemistry. Yet I do not guarantee anything. It is possible that our [Pg 125] race will persist in melancholy, delirium, mania, dementia, and stupor until its lamentable end amid ice and darkness. This world is perhaps irremediably wicked. At all events, I shall have got plenty of amusement out of it. It affords those who are in it an interesting spectacle, and I am beginning to think that Chevalier was madder than the rest in that he voluntarily left his seat."
"We are just miserable creatures, yet we are our own caretakers and our own gods. The lower animals, whose ancient reign on this planet came before ours, have changed it with their intelligence and bravery. Insects have built paths, dug into the ground, hollowed out trees and rocks, created homes, established cities, and transformed the land, air, and water. The work of the simplest of these, like coral polyps, has formed islands and continents. Every physical change leads to a moral change because morals depend on our surroundings. The changes that humans have made to the earth are undoubtedly deeper and more harmonious than those made by other animals. Why shouldn't humanity be able to reshape nature to make it peaceful? Why can't humanity, though small and weak, eventually succeed in diminishing or even controlling the struggle for survival? Why couldn’t humanity eliminate the law that allows killing? We can expect a lot from chemistry. Still, I can't promise anything. It's possible that our [Pg 125] species will continue to suffer from sadness, madness, delirium, dementia, and confusion until its tragic end in ice and darkness. This world might be hopelessly evil. Regardless, I've had plenty of fun in it. It offers an interesting show for those who are part of it, and I'm starting to think that Chevalier was crazier than the rest for willingly leaving his place."
Nanteuil took a pen from the desk, and held it out, dipped in ink, to the doctor.
Nanteuil picked up a pen from the desk and handed it to the doctor, its tip dipped in ink.
He began to write:
He started writing:
"Having been called on several occasions to attend——"
"Having been asked multiple times to attend——"
He interrupted himself to ask Chevalier's Christian name.
He paused to ask for Chevalier's first name.
"Aimé," replied Nanteuil.
"Aimé," Nanteuil replied.
"Aimé Chevalier, I have noticed in his system certain disorders of sensibility, vision and motor control, ordinary indications of——"
"Aimé Chevalier, I've noticed in his system some issues with sensitivity, vision, and motor control, typical signs of——"
He went to fetch a book from a shelf of his library.
He went to grab a book from a shelf in his library.
"It's a thousand chances that I shall find something to confirm my diagnosis in the lectures of Professor Ball on mental diseases."
"It's a long shot, but I might find something in Professor Ball's lectures on mental illnesses that supports my diagnosis."
He turned over the leaves of the book.
He flipped through the pages of the book.
"Just see, my dear Romilly, this is what I find to begin with; in the eighteenth lecture, page 389: 'Many madmen are to be met with among actors.' [Pg 126] This remark of Professor Ball's reminds me that the celebrated Cabanis one day asked Dr. Esprit Blanche whether the stage was not a cause of madness."
"Just look, my dear Romilly, this is what I notice to start with; in the eighteenth lecture, page 389: 'Many crazy people can be found among actors.' [Pg 126] This comment from Professor Ball makes me think of the famous Cabanis, who once asked Dr. Esprit Blanche if the stage wasn't a cause of madness."
"Really?" asked Romilly uneasily.
"Seriously?" asked Romilly uneasily.
"Not a doubt of it," replied Trublet. "But listen to what Professor Ball says on the same page. 'It is an incontestable fact that medical men are excessively predisposed to mental aberration.' Nothing is truer. Among medical men, those who are more especially predestined to insanity are the alienists. It is often difficult to determine which of the two is the crazier, the madman or his doctor. People say too that men of genius are prone to insanity. That is certainly the case. Still, a man is not a reasoning being merely because he is an idiot."
"There's no doubt about it," Trublet replied. "But check out what Professor Ball says on the same page. 'It's an undeniable fact that medical professionals are extremely likely to suffer from mental issues.' Nothing could be truer. Among medical professionals, those who are especially likely to go insane are the psychiatrists. It's often hard to tell which one is crazier, the patient or the doctor. People also say that creative geniuses are at risk of madness. That’s definitely true. Still, a person isn’t a rational being just because they're not intelligent."
After glancing a little further through the pages of Professor Ball's lectures, he resumed his writing:
After looking a bit further through Professor Ball's lectures, he went back to writing:
"Ordinary indications of maniacal excitement, and, if it be taken into consideration that the subject was of a neuropathic temperament, there is reason to believe that his constitution predisposed him to insanity, which, according to the highest authorities, is merely an exaggeration of the habitual temperament of the individual, and hence it is not possible to credit him with full moral responsibility."
"Typical signs of extreme excitement, and considering that the person had a neuropathic temperament, suggest that his nature made him more likely to go insane. According to leading experts, insanity is just an intensified version of a person's usual temperament, so he cannot be fully held accountable for his actions."
He signed the sheet and handed it to Pradel, saying:
He signed the sheet and handed it to Pradel, saying:
"Here's something that is innocuous and too devoid of meaning to contain the slightest falsehood."
"Here's something that's harmless and so lacking in meaning that it doesn't hold even the slightest untruth."
Pradel rose and said:
Pradel stood up and said:
"Believe me, my dear doctors we should not have asked you to tell a lie."
"Trust me, my dear doctors, we shouldn't have asked you to lie."
"Why not? I am a medical man. I keep a lie-shop. I relieve, I console. How is it possible to relieve and console without lying?"
"Why not? I'm a medical professional. I run a place that deals in lies. I help, I comfort. How can you help and comfort without lying?"
Then, with a sympathetic glance at Nanteuil; he added:
Then, with a caring look at Nanteuil, he added:
"Only women and physicians know how necessary untruthfulness is, and how beneficial to man."
"Only women and doctors understand how essential dishonesty can be, and how it benefits people."
And, as Pradel, Constantin Mate, and Romilly were taking their leave, he said:
And, as Pradel, Constantin Mate, and Romilly were saying their goodbyes, he said:
"Pray go out by the dining-room. I've just received a small cask of old Armagnac. You'll tell me what you think of it!"
"Please go out through the dining room. I just got a small barrel of old Armagnac. Let me know what you think of it!"
Nanteuil had remained behind in the doctor's consulting room.
Nanteuil stayed behind in the doctor's office.
"My little Socrates, I have spent an awful night. I saw him."
"My little Socrates, I had a terrible night. I saw him."
"During your sleep?"
"While you sleep?"
"No, when wide awake."
"No, when fully awake."
"You are sure you were not sleeping?"
"You really weren't sleeping, were you?"
"Quite sure."
"Absolutely sure."
He was on the point of asking her if the apparition had spoken to her. But he left the question [Pg 128] unspoken, fearing lest he might suggest to so sensitive a subject those hallucinations of the sense of hearing, which, by reason of their imperious nature, he dreaded far more than visual hallucinations. He was familiar with the docility of the sick in obeying orders given them by voices. Abandoning the idea of questioning Félicie, he resolved, at all hazards, to remove any scruples of conscience which might be troubling her. At the same time, having observed that, generally speaking, the sense of moral responsibility is weak in women, he made no great effort in that direction, and contented himself with remarking lightly:
He was about to ask her if the ghost had said anything to her. But he held back the question [Pg 128] because he was afraid he might bring up those auditory hallucinations, which, due to their intense nature, he feared much more than visual hallucinations. He knew how easily the sick would follow orders given to them by voices. Deciding against questioning Félicie, he resolved to ease any guilt she might be feeling. At the same time, noticing that, in general, women's sense of moral responsibility is weaker, he didn't put in much effort in that area and settled for making a casual remark:
"My dear child, you must not consider yourself responsible for the death of that poor fellow. A suicide inspired by passion is the inevitable termination of a pathological condition. Every individual who commits suicide had to commit suicide. You are merely the incidental cause of an accident, which is, of course, deplorable, but the importance of which should not be exaggerated."
"My dear child, you must not blame yourself for that poor guy's death. A suicide driven by passion is the unavoidable end of a mental health issue. Every person who takes their own life felt they had to do it. You are just the unintentional cause of a tragedy, which is certainly sad, but we shouldn't make it out to be more than it is."
Thinking that he had said enough on this score, he applied himself immediately to dispersing the terrors which surrounded her. He sought to convince her by simple arguments that she was beholding images which had no reality, mere reflections of her own thoughts. In order to illustrate [Pg 129] his demonstration, he told her a story of a reassuring nature.
Thinking he had said enough on the matter, he quickly focused on easing her fears. He tried to show her with straightforward arguments that what she saw were just illusions, mere reflections of her own thoughts. To illustrate [Pg 129] his point, he shared a comforting story.
"An English physician," he told her, "was attending a lady, like yourself, highly intelligent, who, like yourself, was in the habit of seeing cats under her furniture, and was visited by phantoms. He convinced her that these apparitions corresponded to nothing in reality. She believed him, and worried herself no longer. One fine day, after a long period of retirement, she reappeared in society, and on entering a drawing-room she saw the lady of the house who, pointing to an arm-chair, begged her to be seated. She also saw, seated in this chair, a crafty-looking old gentleman. She argued to herself that one of the two persons was necessarily a creature of the imagination, and, deciding that the gentleman had no real existence, she sat down on the arm-chair. On touching the bottom, she drew a long breath. From that day onward, she never again set eyes on any further phantoms, either of man or of beast. When smothering the crafty-looking old gentleman, she had smothered them all—fundamentally."
"An English doctor," he said to her, "was treating a lady, much like you, who was very intelligent and, like you, believed she saw cats under her furniture and was visited by ghosts. He convinced her that these visions didn't correspond to anything real. She believed him and stopped worrying. One day, after being away for a long time, she rejoined society, and when she walked into a sitting room, she saw the lady of the house who, pointing to an armchair, asked her to take a seat. She also noticed a shifty-looking old man sitting in that chair. She reasoned that one of the two had to be a figment of her imagination, and deciding that the old man wasn't real, she sat down in the armchair. As she felt the seat, she took a deep breath. From that day on, she never saw any more ghosts, whether human or animal. By dismissing the shifty-looking old man, she had gotten rid of them all—ultimately."
Félicie shook her head, saying:
Félicie shook her head, saying:
"That does not apply to this case."
"That doesn't apply to this case."
She meant to say that her own phantom was not a grotesque old man, on whom one could sit, but a jealous dead man who did not pay her visits without [Pg 130] some object. But she feared to speak of these things; and, letting her hands fall upon her knees, she held her peace.
She meant to say that her own ghost wasn't a creepy old man you could sit on, but a jealous dead man who only appeared to her if he had a purpose. But she was too scared to talk about it; so, letting her hands drop to her knees, she stayed silent.
Seeing her thus, dejected and crushed, he pointed out that these disorders of the vision were neither rare nor very serious, and that they soon vanished without leaving any traces.
Seeing her like this, downcast and defeated, he noted that these vision issues were neither uncommon nor very serious, and that they would quickly disappear without leaving any marks.
"I myself," he said, "once had a vision."
"I myself," he said, "once had a vision."
"You?"
"You?"
"Yes, I had a vision, some twenty years ago. It was in Egypt."
"Yes, I had a vision about twenty years ago. It happened in Egypt."
He noticed that she was looking at him inquiringly, so he began the story of his hallucination, having switched on all the electric lights, in order to disperse the phantoms of darkness.
He saw that she was looking at him curiously, so he started telling the story of his hallucination, turning on all the electric lights to drive away the shadows.
"In the days when I was practising in Cairo, I was accustomed, in the February of each year, to go up the Nile as far as Luxor, and thence I proceeded, in company with some friends, to visit the tombs and temples in the desert. These trips across the sands are made on donkey-back. The last time I went to Luxor I hired a young donkey-boy, whose white donkey Rameses was stronger than the others. This donkey-boy, whose name was Selim, was also stronger, slenderer, and better looking than the other donkey-boys. He was fifteen years old. His shy, gentle eyes shone from behind a magnificent veil of long black lashes; his brown face [Pg 131] was a pure clear-cut oval. He tramped barefoot through the desert with a step which made one think of those dances of warriors of which the Bible speaks. His every movement was graceful; his young animal-like gaiety was charming. As he prodded Rameses' back with the point of his stick, he would chatter to me in a limited vocabulary in which English, French and Arabic were intermingled; he enjoyed telling me of the travellers whom he had escorted and who, he believed, were all princes or princesses; but if I asked him about his relations or his companions he remained silent, and assumed an air of indifference and boredom. When cadging for a promise of substantial baksheesh, the nasal twang of his voice assumed caressing inflexions. He thought out subtle stratagems and expended whole treasuries of prayers in order to obtain a cigarette. Noticing that I liked to see the donkey-boys treat their beasts with kindness, he used, in my presence, to kiss Rameses on the nostrils, and when we halted he would waltz with him. He often displayed real ingenuity in getting what he wanted. But he was far too short-sighted ever to show the slightest gratitude for what he had obtained. Greedy of piastres, he coveted still more eagerly such small glittering articles as one cannot keep covered—gold scarf-pins, rings, sleeve-links, or nickel cigar-lighters; and when he saw a gold [Pg 132] chain his face would light up with a gleam of pleasure.
"In the days when I was practicing in Cairo, every February I would travel up the Nile to Luxor, and from there, I would go with some friends to explore the tombs and temples in the desert. We would make these trips on the backs of donkeys. The last time I went to Luxor, I hired a young donkey-boy whose white donkey, Rameses, was stronger than the others. The donkey-boy, named Selim, was also stronger, slimmer, and more attractive than the other boys. He was fifteen years old. His shy, gentle eyes sparkled behind long black lashes, and his brown face was a clear oval shape. [Pg 131] He walked barefoot through the desert with a gait that reminded me of the warrior dances mentioned in the Bible. Every movement he made was graceful; his youthful, animal-like joy was delightful. As he poked Rameses' back with his stick, he would chatter to me using a mix of English, French, and Arabic with a limited vocabulary; he loved to tell me about the travelers he had guided who he believed were all princes or princesses. However, if I asked him about his family or friends, he would fall silent, putting on a look of indifference and boredom. When he was trying to get a promise of a good tip, his voice would take on a sweet tone. He would come up with clever schemes and spent a lot of time praying just to get a cigarette. Noticing that I appreciated seeing the donkey-boys treat their animals with kindness, he would kiss Rameses on the nostrils in my presence, and when we stopped, he would dance with him. He often showed real cleverness in getting what he wanted. But he was way too shortsighted to show any gratitude for what he received. Eager for coins, he longed even more for small shiny items that can't be kept hidden—like gold scarf-pins, rings, cufflinks, or nickel cigarette lighters; and when he spotted a gold [Pg 132] chain, his face would light up with delight."
"The following summer was the hardest time of my life. An epidemic of cholera had broken out in Lower Egypt. I was running about the town all day long in a scorching atmosphere. Cairo summers are overpowering to Europeans. We were going through the hottest weeks I had ever known. I heard one day that Selim, brought before the native court of Cairo, had been sentenced to death. He had murdered the daughter of some fellaheen, a little girl nine years old, in order to rob her of her ear-rings, and had thrown her into a cistern. The rings, stained with blood, had been found under a big stone in the Valley of the Kings. They were the crude jewels which the Nubian nomads hammer out of shillings or two-franc pieces, I was told that Selim would certainly be hanged, because the little girl's mother refused the tendered blood-money. Now, the Khedive does not enjoy the prerogative of mercy, and the murderer, according to Moslem law, can redeem his life only if the parents of the victim consent to receive from him a sum of money as compensation. I was too busy to give thought to the matter. I could readily imagine that Selim, cunning but thoughtless, caressing yet unfeeling, had played with the little girl, torn off her ear-rings, killed her, and hidden her [Pg 133] body. The affair soon passed out of my mind. The epidemic was spreading from Old Cairo to the European quarters. I was visiting from thirty to forty sick persons daily, practising venous injections in every case. I was suffering from liver trouble, anæmia was playing havoc with me, and I was dropping with fatigue. In order to husband my strength, I took a little rest at noon. I was accustomed, after luncheon, to lie down in the inner courtyard of my house, and there for an hour I bathed myself in the African shade, as dense and cool as water. One day, as I was lying there on a divan in my courtyard, just as I was lighting a cigarette, I saw Selim approaching. With his beautiful bronze arm he lifted the door-curtain, and came towards me in his blue robe. He did not speak, but smiled with his shy and innocent smile, and the deep red of his lips disclosed his dazzling teeth. His eyes, beneath the blue shadow of his eyelashes, shone with covetousness while gazing at my watch which lay on the table.
"The summer that followed was the toughest time of my life. A cholera outbreak had hit Lower Egypt. I was running around the town all day in the scorching heat. Cairo summers can be overwhelming for Europeans. We were experiencing the hottest weeks I had ever known. One day, I heard that Selim had been brought before the local court in Cairo and sentenced to death. He had murdered a nine-year-old girl, the daughter of some farmers, so he could steal her earrings and had dumped her in a cistern. The earrings, stained with blood, were found under a large stone in the Valley of the Kings. They were the rough jewels that the Nubian nomads make from shillings or two-franc coins. I was told that Selim would definitely be hanged because the little girl's mother refused the offered blood money. The Khedive doesn't have the power to grant mercy, and according to Islamic law, a murderer can only save his life if the victim's parents agree to accept money as compensation. I was too busy to think much about it. I could easily imagine Selim, clever yet reckless, affectionate yet indifferent, playing with the little girl, taking her earrings, killing her, and hiding her body. [Pg 133] The whole situation quickly faded from my mind. The epidemic was spreading from Old Cairo to the European areas. I was visiting thirty to forty sick people every day, performing venous injections on all of them. I was suffering from liver issues, anemia was taking a toll on me, and I was exhausted. To conserve my energy, I took a short break at noon. After lunch, I was used to lying down in my house's inner courtyard, where I enjoyed an hour of the African shade, thick and cool like water. One day, as I was lying on a divan in my courtyard, just about to light a cigarette, I saw Selim coming toward me. With his beautiful bronze arm, he lifted the door curtain and walked over to me in his blue robe. He didn't say anything but smiled his shy and innocent smile, and the deep red of his lips revealed his dazzling teeth. His eyes, under the blue shade of his eyelashes, sparkled with desire as they fixed on my watch lying on the table."
"I thought he had escaped. And this surprised me, not because captives are strictly watched in Oriental prisons, where men, women, horses and dogs are herded in imperfectly closed courtyards, and guarded by a soldier armed with a stick. But Moslems are never tempted to flee from their fate. Selim knelt down with an appealing grace, and [Pg 134] approached his lips to my hand, to kiss it according to ancient custom. I was not asleep, and I had proof of it. I also had proof that the apparition had been before me only for a short time. When Selim had vanished I noticed that my cigarette, which was alight, was not yet tipped with ash."
"I thought he had gotten away. This surprised me, not because prisoners are tightly monitored in Eastern jails, where men, women, horses, and dogs are crammed into poorly enclosed courtyards and watched over by a soldier with a stick. But Muslims are never tempted to run from their destiny. Selim knelt down with a charming grace and [Pg 134] bent his lips to my hand to kiss it, following an old custom. I wasn’t asleep, and I had proof of that. I also knew that the vision had been in front of me for only a short while. When Selim disappeared, I noticed that my lit cigarette still hadn’t turned to ash."
"Was he dead when you saw him?" asked Nanteuil.
"Was he dead when you saw him?" Nanteuil asked.
"Not a bit of it," replied the doctor, "I heard a few days later that Selim, in his jail, wove little baskets, or played for hours at a time with a chaplet of glass balls, and that he would smilingly beg a piastre of European visitors, who were surprised by the caressing softness of his eyes. Moslem justice is slow. He was hanged six months later. No one, not even he himself, was greatly concerned about it. I was in Europe at the time."
"Not at all," replied the doctor, "I heard a few days later that Selim, in his jail, made little baskets or spent hours playing with a string of glass beads, and he would happily ask for a piastre from European visitors, who were taken aback by the gentle softness in his eyes. Muslim justice moves slowly. He was hanged six months later. No one, not even he himself, really cared much about it. I was in Europe at the time."
"And since then he has never reappeared?"
"And he hasn't shown up again since then?"
"Never."
"Never."
Nanteuil looked at him, disappointed.
Nanteuil looked at him, let down.
"I thought he had come when he was dead. But since he was in prison you certainly could not have seen him in your house. You only thought you saw him."
"I thought he had arrived when he was actually dead. But since he was in prison, you definitely couldn't have seen him in your house. You only thought you saw him."
The physician, understanding what was in Félicie's mind, quickly replied:
The doctor, knowing what Félicie was thinking, quickly responded:
"My dear little Nanteuil, believe what I tell [Pg 135] you. The phantoms of the dead have no more reality than the phantoms of the living."
"My dear little Nanteuil, trust me when I say [Pg 135] that the spirits of the dead are no more real than the illusions of the living."
Without attending to what he was saying, she asked him if it was really because he suffered from his liver that he had a vision. He replied that he believed that the bad state of his digestive organs, general fatigue, and a tendency to congestion, had all predisposed him to behold an apparition.
Without paying attention to what he was saying, she asked him if he really had a vision because he was having issues with his liver. He replied that he thought the poor condition of his digestive system, overall tiredness, and a tendency to congestion had all made him more likely to see an apparition.
"There was; I believe," he added, "a more immediate cause. Stretched out on my divan, my head was very low. I raised it to light a cigarette, and let it fall back immediately. This attitude is particularly favourable to hallucinations. It is sometimes enough to lie down with one's head thrown back to see and to hear imaginary shapes and sounds. That is why I advise you, my child, to sleep with a bolster and a fat pillow."
"There was, I think," he added, "a more immediate reason. Lying on my couch, my head was really low. I lifted it to light a cigarette, then let it fall back right away. This position is especially conducive to hallucinations. Sometimes, just lying down with your head tilted back is enough to see and hear imaginary shapes and sounds. That’s why I suggest you, my dear, sleep with a bolster and a big pillow."
She began to laugh.
She started laughing.
"As mamma does—majestically!"
"As mom does—majestic!"
Then, flitting off to another idea:
Then, switching to another thought:
"Tell me; Socrates, how comes it that you saw this sordid individual rather than another? You had hired a donkey from him, and you were no longer thinking of him. And yet he came. Say what you like, it's queer."
"Tell me, Socrates, how is it that you noticed this shady guy instead of someone else? You had rented a donkey from him, and you had forgotten all about him. And yet he showed up. Whatever you say, it's strange."
"You ask me why it was he rather than another? It would be very hard for me to tell you. Our visions, bound up with our innermost [Pg 136] thoughts, often present their images to us; sometimes there is no connection between them, and they show us an unexpected figure."
"You’re asking me why it was him and not someone else? It’s really hard for me to explain. Our visions, tied to our deepest thoughts, [Pg 136] often bring us their images; sometimes, there’s no link between them, and they reveal an unexpected person."
He once more exhorted her not to allow herself to be frightened by phantoms.
He urged her again not to let herself be scared by ghosts.
"The dead do not return. When one of them appears to you, rest assured that what you see is a thing imagined by your brain."
"The dead don’t come back. If one of them shows up, you can be sure that what you’re seeing is just something created by your mind."
"Can you," she inquired; "guarantee that there is nothing after death?"
"Can you," she asked, "promise that there is nothing after death?"
"My child, there is nothing after death that could frighten you."
"My child, there's nothing after death that should scare you."
She rose, picked up her little bag and her part, and held out her hand to the doctor, saying:
She stood up, grabbed her small bag and her script, and extended her hand to the doctor, saying:
"As for you, you don't believe in anything, do you, old Socrates?"
"As for you, you don't believe in anything, do you, old Socrates?"
He detained her for a moment in the waiting-room, warned her to take good care of herself, to lead a quiet, restful life, and to take sufficient rest.
He held her back for a moment in the waiting room, told her to take care of herself, to live a calm, relaxed life, and to get enough rest.
"Do you suppose that is easy in our profession? To-morrow I have a rehearsal in the green-room, and one on the stage, and I have to try on a gown, while to-night I am acting. For more than a year now I've been leading that sort of life."
"Do you think that's easy in our line of work? Tomorrow I have a rehearsal in the green room, another on stage, and I need to try on a dress, while tonight I’m performing. I've been living this way for over a year now."
CHAPTER X
nder the great void reserved by the height of the roof for the upward
flight of prayers the motley crowd of human beings was huddled together
like a flock of sheep.
Beneath the vast space created by the tall roof for the ascending prayers, the diverse group of people was packed closely together like a herd of sheep.
They were all there, at the foot of the catafalque surrounded by lights and covered with flowers, Durville, old Maury, Delage, Vicar, Destrée, Léon Clim, Valrosche, Aman, Regnard, Pradel, Romilly, and Marchegeay, the manager. They were all there, Madame Ravaud, Madame Doulce, Ellen Midi, Duvernet, Herschell, Falempin, Stella, Marie-Claire, Louise Dalle, Fagette, Nanteuil, kneeling, robed in black, like elegiac figures. Some of the women were reading their missals. Some were weeping. All of them brought to the coffin of their comrade at least the tribute of their heavy eyes and their faces pallid from the cold of the morning. Journalists, actors, playwrights, whole families of those artisans who gain their living by the theatre, and a crowd of curious onlookers filled the nave.
They were all there, at the foot of the catafalque surrounded by lights and covered with flowers: Durville, old Maury, Delage, Vicar, Destrée, Léon Clim, Valrosche, Aman, Regnard, Pradel, Romilly, and Marchegeay, the manager. They were all there, Madame Ravaud, Madame Doulce, Ellen Midi, Duvernet, Herschell, Falempin, Stella, Marie-Claire, Louise Dalle, Fagette, Nanteuil, kneeling, dressed in black, like mourning figures. Some of the women were reading their prayer books. Some were crying. All of them brought to the coffin of their friend at least the tribute of their heavy eyes and their faces pale from the morning chill. Journalists, actors, playwrights, whole families of those who earn their living in the theater, and a crowd of curious onlookers filled the nave.
The choristers were uttering the mournful cries of the Kyrie eleison; the priest kissed the altar; turned towards the people and said:
The singers were vocalizing the sorrowful words of the Kyrie eleison; the priest kissed the altar, then faced the congregation and said:
"Dominus vobiscum."
"The Lord be with you."
Romilly; taking in the crowd at a glance, remarked
Romilly, glancing at the crowd, commented
"Chevalier has a full house."
"Chevalier is at capacity."
"Just look at that Louise Dalle," said Fagette. "To look as though she's in mourning, she has put on a black mackintosh!"
"Just look at that Louise Dalle," said Fagette. "To seem like she's in mourning, she put on a black raincoat!"
A little to the back of the church, with Pradel and Constantin Marc, Dr. Trublet was, in subdued tones, according to his habit, delivering his moral homilies.
A little toward the back of the church, with Pradel and Constantin Marc, Dr. Trublet was, in quiet tones, as he usually did, giving his moral lectures.
"Observe," he said, "that they are lighting, on the altar and about the coffin, in the guise of wax candles, diminutive night-lights mounted on billiard cues, and are thereby making an offering of lamp oil instead of virgin wax to the Lord. The pious men who dwell in the sanctuary have at all times been proved to defraud their God by these little deceptions. This observation is not my own; it is, I believe, Renan's."
"Look," he said, "they're lighting, on the altar and around the coffin, tiny night-lights on billiard cues that look like wax candles, and they’re offering lamp oil instead of pure wax to the Lord. The devout men who live in the sanctuary have always been shown to cheat their God with these small tricks. This point isn’t mine; I think it's Renan's."
The celebrant, standing on the epistle side of the altar, was reciting in a low voice:
The celebrant, standing on the left side of the altar, was quietly reciting:
"Nolumus autem vos ignorare fratres de dormientibus, ut non contrisemimi, sicut et cæteri qui spem non habent."
"We don’t want you, brothers, to be unaware about those who have fallen asleep, so you won’t grieve like others who have no hope."
"Who is taking the part of Florentin?" inquired Durville of Romilly.
"Who's playing Florentin?" Durville asked Romilly.
"Regnard: he'll be no worse in it than Chevalier."
"Regnard: he won't be any worse at it than Chevalier."
Pradel plucked Trublet by the sleeve, and said:
Pradel grabbed Trublet by the sleeve and said:
"Dr. Socrates, I beg you to tell me whether as a scientific man, as a physiologist, you see any serious objections to the immortality of the soul?"
"Dr. Socrates, I ask you to tell me if, as a scientist and a physiologist, you see any serious issues with the idea of the soul's immortality?"
He asked the question as a busy and practical man in need of personal information.
He asked the question like a busy and practical person in need of personal information.
"You are doubtless aware, my dear friend," replied Trublet, "what Cyrano's bird said on this very subject. One day Cyrano de Bergerac heard two birds conversing in a tree. One of them said, 'The souls of birds are immortal,' 'There can be no doubt of it,' replied the other. 'But it is inconceivable that beings who possess neither bill nor feathers, who have no wings and walk on two legs, should believe that they, like the birds, have an immortal soul.'"
"You surely know, my dear friend," Trublet replied, "what Cyrano's bird said about this very topic. One day, Cyrano de Bergerac overheard two birds chatting in a tree. One of them said, 'The souls of birds are immortal.' 'There's no doubt about it,' the other responded. 'But it’s hard to believe that creatures who have no beaks or feathers, who don’t have wings and walk on two legs, would think that they, like the birds, have an immortal soul.'"
"All the same," said Pradel, "when I hear the organ, I am chock-full of religious ideas."
"Still," Pradel said, "whenever I hear the organ, I get filled with religious thoughts."
"Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine."
"Eternal rest grant them, Lord."
The celebrated author of La Nuit du 23 octobre 1812 appeared in the church, and no sooner had he done so than he was everywhere at one and the same moment—in the nave, under the porch, and in [Pg 140] the choir. Like the Diable boiteux he must, bestriding his crutch, have soared above the heads of the congregation, to pass as he did in the twinkling of an eye from Morlot, the deputy, who, being a freethinker, had remained in the parvis, to Marie-Claire kneeling at the foot of the catafalque.
The famous author of La Nuit du 23 octobre 1812 entered the church, and as soon as he did, he seemed to be everywhere at once—in the nave, under the porch, and in [Pg 140] the choir. Like the Diable boiteux, he must have soared above the heads of the congregation on his crutch, effortlessly moving from Morlot, the deputy, who, being a freethinker, stayed in the parvis, to Marie-Claire kneeling at the foot of the catafalque.
At one and at the same moment he whispered into the ears of all a few nimble phrases:
At that exact moment, he whispered a few quick phrases into everyone's ears:
"Pradel, can you imagine this fellow going and chucking his part, an excellent part, and running off to kill himself? A pumpkin-headed fool! Blows out his brains just two days before the first night. Compels us to replace him and sets us back a week. What an imbecile! A rotten bad egg. But we must do him justice; he could jump, and jump well, the animal. Well, my dear Romilly, we rehearse the new man to-day at two o'clock. See to it that Regnard has the script of his part, and that he knows how to climb on to the roof. Let us hope he won't kick the bucket on our hands like Chevalier. What if he, too, were to commit suicide! You needn't laugh. There's an evil spell on certain parts. Thus, in my Marino Falieri, the gondolier Sandro breaks his arm at the dress rehearsal. I am given another Sandro. He sprains his ankle on the first night. I am given a third, he contracts typhoid fever. My little [Pg 141] Nanteuil, I'll entrust you with a magnificent rôle to create when you get to the Français. But I have sworn by the great gods that I'll never again have a single play performed in this theatre."
"Pradel, can you believe this guy threw away his role, a great role, and ran off to end his life? What a fool! He blows his brains out just two days before the opening night. Now we have to find a replacement and we're set back a week. What an idiot! A total loser. But I’ll give him credit; he could jump, and he did it well, the guy. Well, my dear Romilly, we’re rehearsing the new guy today at two o'clock. Make sure Regnard has the script for his role and knows how to get up on the roof. Let's hope he doesn’t die on us like Chevalier did. What if he decides to commit suicide too! You shouldn't laugh. Some parts seem cursed. For example, in my Marino Falieri, the gondolier Sandro breaks his arm during the dress rehearsal. I get another Sandro. He twists his ankle on opening night. I get a third one, and he gets typhoid fever. My little [Pg 141] Nanteuil, I’ll have a fantastic role for you to create when you get to the Français. But I’ve sworn by the gods that I’ll never let another play be performed in this theater."
And immediately, under the little door which shuts off the choir on the right hand side of the altar, showing his friends Racine's epitaph, which is let into the wall, like a Parisian thoroughly conversant with the antiquities of his city, he recalled the history of this stone, he told them how the poet had been buried in accordance with his desire at Port-Royal-des-Champs, at the foot of Monsieur Hamon's grave, and that, after the destruction of the abbey and the violation of the tombs, the body of Messire Jean Racine, the King's secretary, Groom of the Chamber, had been transferred, all unhonoured; to Saint-Étienne-du-Mont. And he told how the tombstone, bearing the inscription composed for Boileau, beneath the knight's crest and the shield with its swan argent, and done into Latin by Monsieur Dodart, had served as a flagstone in the choir of the little church of Magny-Lessart; where it had been discovered in 1808.
And right away, under the small door that separates the choir on the right side of the altar, he showed his friends Racine's epitaph, which is set into the wall. Like a true Parisian familiar with the city's history, he recalled the story of this stone. He told them how the poet had been buried according to his wishes at Port-Royal-des-Champs, at the foot of Monsieur Hamon's grave. After the abbey was destroyed and the tombs were disturbed, the body of Messire Jean Racine, the King’s secretary and Groom of the Chamber, was moved unceremoniously to Saint-Étienne-du-Mont. He also mentioned how the tombstone, inscribed with the words written for Boileau, beneath the knight's crest and the shield with its swan argent, and translated into Latin by Monsieur Dodart, had ended up as a flagstone in the choir of the small church of Magny-Lessart, where it was discovered in 1808.
"There it is," he added. "It was broken in six pieces and the name of Racine was effaced by the shoes of the peasants. The fragments were pieced together and the missing letters carved anew."
"There it is," he said. "It was in six pieces, and the name Racine was worn away by the peasants' shoes. The fragments were put back together, and the missing letters were carved again."
On this subject he expatiated with his customary vivacity and diffusiveness, drawing from his prodigious memory a multitude of curious facts and amusing anecdotes, breathing life into history and endowing archæology with a living interest. His admiration and his wrath burst forth in swift and violent alternation in the solemnity of the church, and amid the pomp of the ceremony.
On this topic, he spoke with his usual energy and detail, pulling from his incredible memory a wealth of interesting facts and funny stories, making history come alive and giving archaeology a relatable appeal. His admiration and anger flowed out in quick and intense shifts during the seriousness of the church and amidst the grandeur of the ceremony.
"I would give something to know, for instance, who were the stupid bunglers who set this stone in the wall. Hic jacet nobilis vir Johannes Racine. It is not true! They make honest Boileau's epitaph lie. The body of Racine is not in this spot. It was laid to rest in the third chapel on the left, as you enter. What idiots!" Then, suddenly calm, he pointed to Pascal's tombstone.
"I would love to know, for example, who the clueless idiots were that put this stone in the wall. Hic jacet nobilis vir Johannes Racine. That’s not true! They made honest Boileau's epitaph a lie. Racine's body isn't here. It was buried in the third chapel on the left as you enter. What morons!" Then, suddenly calm, he pointed to Pascal's tombstone.
"That came here from the museum of the Petits-Augustins. No praise can be too great for Lenoir, who, in the days of the Revolution, collected and preserved."
"That came here from the museum of the Petits-Augustins. No praise can be too high for Lenoir, who, during the Revolution, collected and preserved."
Thereupon, he improvised a second lecture on lapidary archæology, even more brilliant than the first, transformed the history of Pascal's life into a terrible yet amusing drama, and vanished. In all, he had remained in the church for the space of ten minutes.
Thereupon, he gave an impromptu second lecture on lapidary archaeology, even more impressive than the first, turned the story of Pascal's life into a dark yet entertaining drama, and disappeared. In total, he had stayed in the church for about ten minutes.
Over those heads full of worldly cares and profane desires the Dies iræ rumbled like a storm:
Over those minds filled with everyday worries and unholy desires, the Dies iræ thundered like a storm:
"Mors stupebit et natura,
Quum resurget creatura
Judicanti responsura."
"Death will be amazed and nature,
When the creature rises again
To respond to the Judge."
"Tell me, Dutil, how could that little Nanteuil, who is pretty and intelligent, get herself mixed up with a dirty mummer like Chevalier?"
"Tell me, Dutil, how could that cute and smart Nanteuil get involved with a sleazy performer like Chevalier?"
"Your ignorance of the feminine heart surprises me."
"Your lack of understanding of a woman's heart surprises me."
"Herschell was prettier when she was a brunette."
"Herschell looked better as a brunette."
"Qui Mariam absolvisti
Et latronem exaudisti
Mihi quoque spem dedisti."
"You who forgave Mary
And heard the thief
Gave me hope as well."
"I must be off to lunch."
"I've got to head out for lunch."
"Do you know anyone who knows the Minister?"
"Do you know anyone who knows the Minister?"
"Durville is a has-been. He blows like a grampus."
"Durville is washed up. He talks like a whale."
"Put me in a little paragraph about Marie Falempin. I can tell you she was simply delicious in Les Trois Magots."
"Put me in a short paragraph about Marie Falempin. I can tell you she was absolutely amazing in Les Trois Magots."
"Inter oves locum presta
Et ab hædis me sequestra,
Statuens in parte dextra."
"Grant me a place among the sheep
And separate me from the goats,
Setting me on your right side."
"So then, it is for Nanteuil's sake that he blew out his brains? A little ninny who isn't worth spanking!"
"So, is that why he blew his brains out, for Nanteuil's sake? What a little fool who isn't worth any trouble!"
The celebrant poured the wine and the water into the chance, saying:
The celebrant poured the wine and water into the cup, saying:
"Deus qui humanæ substantiæ dignitatem mirabiliter condidisu...."
"God, who wonderfully established the dignity of human nature...."
"Is it really true, doctor, that he killed himself because Nanteuil wouldn't have any more to do with him?"
"Is it really true, doctor, that he took his own life because Nanteuil didn’t want anything to do with him anymore?"
"He killed himself," replied Trublet, "because she loved another. The obsession of genetic images frequently determines mania and melancholia."
"He killed himself," Trublet replied, "because she loved someone else. The fixation on genetic images often leads to mania and depression."
"You don't understand second-rate actors, Dr. Socrates," said Pradel. "He killed himself to cause a sensation, and for no other reason."
"You don't get second-rate actors, Dr. Socrates," Pradel said. "He took his own life to create a stir, and for no other reason."
"It's not only second-rate actors," said Constantin Marc, "who suffer from an uncontrollable desire to attract attention to themselves at whatever cost. Last year, in the place where I live, Saint-Bartholomé, while a threshing-machine was at work, a thirteen-year-old boy shoved his arm into the gear; it was crushed up to the shoulder. The surgeon who amputated it asked him, as he was dressing the stump, why he mutilated himself like that. The boy confessed that it was to draw attention to himself."
"It's not just second-rate actors," said Constantin Marc, "who have an uncontrollable need to get attention at any cost. Last year, where I live, in Saint-Bartholomé, while a threshing machine was running, a thirteen-year-old boy put his arm into the gears; it was crushed up to the shoulder. The surgeon who amputated it asked him, as he was bandaging the stump, why he did that to himself. The boy admitted that it was to get attention."
Meanwhile, Nanteuil, with dry eyes and pursed lips, had fixed her eyes upon the black cloth with which the catafalque was covered, and was impatiently waiting until enough holy water, candles and Latin prayers should be bestowed upon the dead man for him to depart in peace. She had [Pg 145] seen him again the night before, and she thought he had returned because the priests had not yet bidden him to rest in peace. Then, reflecting that one day she, too, would die, and would, like him, be laid in a coffin, beneath a black pall, she shuddered with horror and closed her eyes. The idea of life was so strong within her that she pictured death as a hideous life. Afraid of death, she prayed for a long life. Kneeling, with bowed head, the voluptuous ashen cloud of her buoyant hair falling over her forehead, she, a profane penitent, was reading in her prayer-book words which reassured her, although she did not understand them.
Meanwhile, Nanteuil, with dry eyes and pursed lips, had fixed her gaze on the black cloth covering the catafalque, impatiently waiting for enough holy water, candles, and Latin prayers to be offered for the dead man to rest in peace. She had [Pg 145] seen him again the night before, and she believed he had returned because the priests had not yet sent him off to rest. Then, thinking about the fact that one day she, too, would die and, like him, be placed in a coffin beneath a black pall, she shuddered in horror and closed her eyes. The thought of life was so strong within her that she imagined death as a terrible version of life. Terrified of death, she prayed for a long life. Kneeling with her head bowed, the soft, ashen cloud of her voluminous hair falling over her forehead, she, a secular penitent, was reading words in her prayer book that comforted her, even though she didn’t understand them.
"Lord Jesus Christ, King of Glory, deliver the souls of all the faithful dead from the pains of hell and from the depths of the bottomless pit. Deliver them from the lion's jaws. Let them not be plunged into hell, and let them not fall into the outer darkness, but suffer that St. Michael, the Prince of Angels, lead them to the holy light promised by Thee to Abraham and to his posterity."
"Lord Jesus Christ, King of Glory, free the souls of all the faithful departed from the pains of hell and from the depths of the abyss. Rescue them from the lion's jaws. Do not allow them to be cast into hell, and do not let them fall into the outer darkness, but let St. Michael, the Prince of Angels, guide them to the holy light You promised to Abraham and his descendants."
At the Elevation of the Host the congregation, permeated by a vague impression that the mystery was becoming more sacred, ceased its private conversations, and assumed a certain appearance of reverent devotion. And as the organ fell silent all heads were bowed at the tinkling of a little [Pg 146] bell which was shaken by a child. Then, after the last Gospel, when, the service being over, the priest, attended by his acolytes, approached the catafalque to the chanting of the Libera, a sense of relief was experienced by the crowd, and they began to jostle one another a little in order to file past the coffin. The women, whose piety, grief and contrition were contingent upon their immobility and their kneeling posture, were at once recalled to their customary frame of mind by the movement and the encounters of the procession. They exchanged amongst themselves and with the men remarks relating to their profession.
At the Elevation of the Host, the congregation, feeling that the moment was becoming more sacred, stopped their private conversations and took on a look of reverent devotion. As the organ fell silent, everyone's heads bowed at the sound of a little [Pg 146] bell tinkled by a child. Then, after the last Gospel, when the service concluded, the priest, followed by his acolytes, approached the catafalque to the chant of the Libera. The crowd felt a sense of relief and began to gently push against one another to file past the coffin. The women, whose piety, grief, and remorse were tied to their stillness and kneeling position, were quickly brought back to their usual mindset by the movement and interactions of the procession. They exchanged comments among themselves and with the men related to their profession.
"Do you know," said Ellen Midi to Falempin, "that Nanteuil is going to join the Comédie-Française?"
"Did you know," Ellen Midi said to Falempin, "that Nanteuil is going to join the Comédie-Française?"
"It's not possible!"
"It can't be done!"
"The contract is signed."
"The contract is signed."
"How did she manage it?"
"How did she pull that off?"
"Not by her acting, you may be sure," replied Ellen, who proceeded to relate a highly scandalous story.
"Definitely not through her acting, that’s for sure," replied Ellen, who then went on to tell a really scandalous story.
"Take care," said Falempin, "she is just behind you."
"Be careful," said Falempin, "she's right behind you."
"Yes, I see her! She's got a cheek of her own to show herself here, don't you think?"
"Yeah, I see her! She's really got some nerve showing up here, don't you think?"
Marie-Claire whispered an extraordinary piece of news into Durville's ear:
Marie-Claire whispered an amazing piece of news into Durville's ear:
"They say he committed suicide. Well, there's not a word of truth in it He didn't commit suicide at all. And the proof of it is that he is being buried with the rites of the Church."
"They say he killed himself. Well, that's not true at all. He didn't take his own life. And the proof is that he is being buried with Church rites."
"What then?" inquired Durville.
"What now?" asked Durville.
"Monsieur de Ligny surprised him with Nanteuil and killed him."
"Monsieur de Ligny caught him off guard with Nanteuil and killed him."
"Come, come!"
"Come on!"
"I can assure you that I am accurately informed."
"I can assure you that I have the correct information."
The conversations were becoming animated and familiar.
The conversations were getting lively and comfortable.
"So you are here, you wicked old sinner!"
"So you're here, you naughty old sinner!"
"The box-office receipts are falling off already."
"The box office revenue is already dropping."
"Stella has succeeded in getting herself proposed by seventeen Deputies, nine of whom are members of the Budget Commission."
"Stella has successfully gotten herself proposed by seventeen Deputies, nine of whom are part of the Budget Commission."
"Yet I told Herschell, 'That little Bocquet fellow isn't the man for you. What you need is a man of standing.'"
"Yet I told Herschell, 'That little Bocquet guy isn't the right choice for you. What you need is someone with a solid reputation.'"
When the bier, borne by the undertaker's men, passed through the west door, the delicious rays of a winter sun fell on the faces of the women and the roses lying on the coffin. Grouped on either side of the parvis, a few young men from the great colleges sought the faces of celebrities; the little factory girls from the neighbouring workshops, standing in couples with arms round each other's [Pg 148] waists, contemplated the actresses' dresses. And standing against the porch on their aching feet, a couple of tramps, accustomed to living under the open sky, whether mild or sullen, slowly shifted their dejected gaze, while a college lad gazed with rapture at the fiery tresses which coiled like flames on the nape of Fagette's neck.
When the coffin, carried by the funeral workers, passed through the west door, the warm rays of the winter sun illuminated the faces of the women and the roses resting on the casket. A few young men from prestigious colleges gathered on either side of the entrance, looking for famous faces; nearby, young factory girls stood in pairs with their arms around each other's waists, admiring the actresses' dresses. Leaning against the porch on their tired feet, a couple of homeless guys, used to living outdoors in any weather, slowly shifted their sad expressions. Meanwhile, a college guy gazed in awe at the fiery curls that danced like flames on the back of Fagette's neck. [Pg 148]
She had stopped on the topmost step in front of the doors, and was chatting with Constantin Marc and a few journalists:
She had paused on the top step in front of the doors, talking with Constantin Marc and a few journalists:
"...Monsieur de Ligny? He danced attendance upon me long before he knew Nanteuil. He used to gaze upon me by the hour, with eager eyes, without daring to speak a word to me. I received him willingly enough, for his behaviour was perfect. It is only fair to say that his manners are excellent. He was as reserved as a man could be. At last, one day, he declared that he was madly in love with me. I told him that as he was speaking to me seriously I would do the same; that I was truly sorry to see him in such a state; that every time such a thing happened I was greatly upset by it; that I was a woman of standing, I had settled my life, and could do nothing for him. He was desperate. He informed me that he was leaving for Constantinople, that he would never return. He couldn't make up his mind either to remain or to go away. He fell ill. Nanteuil, who [Pg 149] thought I loved him and wanted to keep him, did all in her power to get him away from me. She flung herself at his head in the craziest fashion, I found her sometimes a trifle ridiculous, but, as you may imagine, I did not place any obstacle in her path. For his part, Monsieur de Ligny, with the object of inspiring me with regret, with vexation, or what not, perhaps in the hope of making me jealous, responded very visibly to Nanteuil's advances. And that is how they came to be together. I was delighted. Nanteuil and I are the best of friends."
"...Monsieur de Ligny? He showed me attention long before he met Nanteuil. He would stare at me for hours, his eyes filled with eagerness, without daring to say a word. I welcomed his attention because his behavior was impeccable. I have to admit that his manners are great. He was as reserved as one could be. Finally, one day, he confessed that he was madly in love with me. I told him that since he was speaking seriously, I would do the same; that I genuinely felt sorry to see him in such a state; that every time something like this happened, it upset me greatly; that I was a woman of standing, I had my life planned, and couldn't do anything for him. He was heartbroken. He told me he was leaving for Constantinople and wouldn’t come back. He couldn’t decide whether to stay or leave. He got sick. Nanteuil, who [Pg 149] thought I loved him and wanted to keep him, did everything she could to get him away from me. She threw herself at him in the wildest way; I sometimes found her a bit ridiculous, but as you can imagine, I didn’t stand in her way. For his part, Monsieur de Ligny, trying to make me feel regret, annoyance, or maybe hoping to make me jealous, clearly responded to Nanteuil's advances. And that's how they ended up together. I was thrilled. Nanteuil and I are the best of friends."
Madame Doulce, hedged in on either side by the onlookers, came slowly down the steps, indulging herself in the illusion that the crowd was whispering, "That's Doulce!"
Madame Doulce, flanked by spectators on both sides, slowly walked down the steps, savoring the fantasy that the crowd was murmuring, "That's Doulce!"
She seized Nanteuil as she was passing, pressed her to her bosom, and with a beautiful gesture of Christian charity enveloped her in her mantle, saying through her sobs:
She grabbed Nanteuil as she walked by, pulled her close, and with a beautiful gesture of kindness wrapped her in her cloak, saying through her tears:
"Try to pray, my child, and accept this medal. It has been blessed by the Pope. A Dominican Father gave it to me."
"Try to pray, my child, and take this medal. It has been blessed by the Pope. A Dominican priest gave it to me."
Madame Nanteuil, who was a little out of breath, but was growing young again since she had renewed her experience of love, was the last to come out. Durville pressed her hand.
Madame Nanteuil, slightly out of breath but feeling youthful again after reigniting her experience with love, was the last to emerge. Durville took her hand.
"Poor Chevalier!" he murmured.
"Poor Chevalier!" he said.
"His was not a bad character," answered Madame Nanteuil, "but he showed a lack of tact. A man of the world does not commit suicide in such a manner. Poor boy, he had no breeding."
"His character wasn't bad," replied Madame Nanteuil, "but he really lacked tact. A person who knows how to navigate society doesn't take his own life like that. Poor guy, he had no manners."
The hearse began its journey in the colossal shadow of the Panthéon, and proceeded down the Rue Soufflet, which is lined on both sides with booksellers' shops. Chevalier's fellow-players, the employés of the theatre, the director, Dr. Socrates, Constantin Marc, a few journalists and a few inquisitive onlookers followed. The clergy and the actresses took their seats in the mourning coaches. Nanteuil, disregarding Madame Doulce's advice, followed with Fagette, in a hired coupé.
The hearse started its journey in the massive shadow of the Panthéon and made its way down Rue Soufflet, which is lined with bookstores on both sides. Chevalier's fellow performers, the theater staff, the director, Dr. Socrates, Constantin Marc, some journalists, and a few curious onlookers followed along. The clergy and the actresses took their places in the mourning coaches. Nanteuil, ignoring Madame Doulce's advice, followed with Fagette in a rented cab.
The weather was fine. Behind the hearse the mourners were conversing in familiar fashion.
The weather was nice. Behind the hearse, the mourners were chatting comfortably.
"The cemetery is the devil of a way!"
"The cemetery is a terrible place!"
"Montparnasse? Half an hour at the outside."
"Montparnasse? At most half an hour."
"Do you know Nanteuil is engaged at the Comédie-Française?"
"Did you know Nanteuil is performing at the Comédie-Française?"
"Do we rehearse to-day?" Constantin Marc inquired of Romilly.
"Are we rehearsing today?" Constantin Marc asked Romilly.
"To be sure we do, at three o'clock, in the green-room. We shall rehearse till five. I am playing to-night; I am playing to-morrow; on Sunday I play both afternoon and evening. Work is never over for us actors; one is always beginning over again, always putting one's shoulder to the wheel."
"Sure, we'll meet at three o'clock in the green room. We'll rehearse until five. I'm performing tonight; I'm performing tomorrow; on Sunday, I have shows both in the afternoon and evening. The work never ends for us actors; we're always starting again, always putting our shoulder to the wheel."
Adolphe Meunier, the poet, laying his hand on his shoulder said:
Adolphe Meunier, the poet, put his hand on his shoulder and said:
"Everything going well, Romilly?"
"Is everything going well, Romilly?"
"How are you getting on yourself, Meunier? Always rolling the rock of Sisyphus. That would be nothing, but success does not depend on us alone. If the play is bad and falls flat, all that we have put into it, our work, our talent, a bit of our own life, collapses with it. And the number of 'frosts' I've seen! How often the play has fallen under me like an old hack, and has chucked me into the gutter! Ah, if one were punished only for one's own sins!"
"How are you doing, Meunier? Always pushing that rock up the hill, huh? That wouldn't be so bad, but success isn't just in our hands. If the play is terrible and bombs, everything we’ve invested in it—our efforts, our talent, a piece of our life—falls apart along with it. I've seen so many flops! There have been times when the play has let me down like an old horse and tossed me into the gutter! If only we were punished just for our own mistakes!"
"My dear Romilly," replied Meunier sharply, "do you imagine that the fate of dramatic authors like myself does not depend as much upon the actors as upon ourselves? Do you think it never happens that actors, by their carelessness or clumsiness, ruin a work which was meant to reach the heights? And do not we also, like Cæsar's legionary, become seized with dismay and anguish at the thought that our fate is not assured by our own valour, but that it depends on those who fight beside us?"
"My dear Romilly," Meunier replied sharply, "do you really think that the success of playwrights like me doesn't depend as much on the actors as it does on us? Do you believe it never happens that actors, through their lack of focus or skill, ruin a piece that was meant to be extraordinary? And don't we, just like a soldier in Caesar's army, feel panic and distress at the idea that our success isn't just based on our own courage, but also relies on those who are performing alongside us?"
"Such is life," observed Constantin Marc. "In every undertaking, everywhere and always, we pay for the faults of others."
"That's life," noted Constantin Marc. "In everything we do, everywhere and always, we end up paying for other people's mistakes."
"That is only too true," resumed Meunier, who had just seen his lyric drama, Pandolphe et Clarimonde, [Pg 152] come hopelessly to grief. "But the iniquity of it disgusts us."
"That's absolutely true," Meunier continued, who had just watched his lyric drama, Pandolphe et Clarimonde, [Pg 152] fail miserably. "But the unfairness of it sickens us."
"It should not disgust us in the least," replied Constantin Marc. "There is a sacred law which governs the world, which we are forced to obey, which we are proud to worship. It is injustice, holy injustice, august injustice. It is everywhere blessed under the name of happiness, fortune, genius and grace. It is a weakness not to acknowledge it and to venerate it under its true name."
"It shouldn't repulse us at all," replied Constantin Marc. "There's a sacred law that rules the world, one we have to follow and are proud to honor. It's injustice, holy injustice, majestic injustice. It's everywhere celebrated under the names of happiness, fortune, genius, and grace. It’s a weakness not to recognize it and to respect it by its true name."
"That's rather weird, what you have just said!" remarked the gentle Meunier.
"That's pretty strange, what you just said!" commented the kind Meunier.
"Think it over," resumed Constantin Marc. "You, too, belong yourself to the party of injustice, for you are striving for distinction, and you very reasonably want to throttle your competitors, a natural, unjust and legitimate desire. Do you know of anything more stupid or more odious than the sort of people we have seen demanding justice? Public opinion, which is not, however, remarkable for its intelligence, and common sense, which nevertheless is not a superior sense, have felt that they constituted the precise contrary of nature, society and life."
"Think about it," continued Constantin Marc. "You, too, are part of the party of injustice because you're aiming for distinction, and it's completely understandable that you want to take down your competitors—it's a natural, unfair, and legitimate desire. Do you know anything more foolish or more repulsive than the people we've seen demanding justice? Public opinion, which isn’t exactly known for being smart, and common sense, which isn’t really a superior form of intelligence, have both felt that they were the exact opposite of nature, society, and life."
"Quite so," said Meunier, "but justice——"
"That's true," said Meunier, "but justice——"
"Justice is nothing but the dream of a few simpletons. Injustice is the thought of God Himself. The doctrine of original sin would alone [Pg 153] suffice to make me a Christian, while the doctrine of grace embodies all truths divine and human."
"Justice is just a fantasy for a few naïve people. Injustice reflects God's own thoughts. The idea of original sin would be enough to make me a Christian, while the idea of grace encompasses all divine and human truths."
"Then are you a believer?" asked Romilly respectfully.
"Are you a believer?" Romilly asked respectfully.
"No, but I should like to be. I regard faith as the most precious possession which a man can enjoy in this world. At Saint-Bartholomé, I go to Mass every Sunday and feast day, and I have never once listened to the exposition of the Gospel by the curé without saying to myself: 'I would give all I possess, my house, my acres, my woods, to be as stupid as that animal there.'"
"No, but I would like to be. I see faith as the most valuable thing someone can have in this world. At Saint-Bartholomé, I attend Mass every Sunday and on special holy days, and I have never listened to the Gospel being read by the curé without thinking to myself: 'I would give everything I own, my house, my land, my woods, to be as blissfully ignorant as that guy there.'"
Michel, the young painter with the mystic's beard, was saying to Roget, the scene painter:
Michel, the young painter with the mystic beard, was saying to Roget, the set designer:
"That poor Chevalier was a man with ideas. But they were not all good ones. One evening, he walked into the brasserie radiant and transfigured, sat himself beside us, and twirling his old felt hat between his long red fingers, he cried: 'I have discovered the true manner of acting tragedy. Hitherto no one has realized how to act tragedy, no one, you understand!' And he told us what his discovery was. 'I've just come from the Chamber. They made me climb up to the amphitheatre. I could see the Deputies swarming like black insects at the bottom of a pit. Suddenly a stumpy little man mounted the tribune. He looked [Pg 154] as if he were carrying a sack of coals on his back. He threw out his arms and clenched his fists. By Jove, he was comical! He had a Southern accent, and his delivery was full of defects. He spoke of the workers, of the proletariat, of social justice. It was magnificent; his voice, his gestures gripped one's very bowels; the applause nearly brought the house down. I said to myself "What he is doing, I'll do on the stage, and I'll do it better. I, a comic actor, will play tragedy. Great tragedy parts, if they are to produce their true effect, ought to be played by a comedian, but he must have a soul."' The poor fellow actually thought that he had imagined a new form of art. 'You'll see,' he said."
"That poor Chevalier was a guy full of ideas. But they weren’t all great. One evening, he walked into the brasserie beaming and transformed, sat down next to us, and twirled his old felt hat between his long red fingers, and said: 'I’ve figured out the real way to act tragedy. Until now, no one has understood how to perform tragedy, no one, got it?' Then he shared what his revelation was. 'I just came from the Chamber. They made me climb up to the amphitheater. I could see the Deputies swarming like little black insects at the bottom of a pit. Suddenly, a short guy climbed up to the podium. He looked like he was lugging a sack of coal on his back. He threw his arms out and clenched his fists. Honestly, he was hilarious! He had a Southern accent, and his delivery was full of mistakes. He talked about workers, the proletariat, social justice. It was amazing; his voice and gestures connected with you on a deep level; the applause almost shook the place down. I thought to myself, "What he's doing, I’ll do on stage, and I’ll do it better. I, a comedic actor, will perform tragedy. Great tragic roles, to really make an impact, should be played by a comedian, but he needs to have a soul."' The poor guy actually believed he had come up with a new form of art. 'You’ll see,' he said."
At the corner of the Boulevard Saint-Michel, a journalist came up to Meunier, and asked him:
At the corner of Boulevard Saint-Michel, a journalist approached Meunier and asked him:
"Is it true that Robert de Ligny was at one time madly in love with Fagette?"
"Is it true that Robert de Ligny was once totally in love with Fagette?"
"If he's in love with her, he hasn't been so long. Only a fortnight ago he asked me, in the theatre, 'Who is that little fair-haired woman?' and he pointed to Fagette."
"If he's in love with her, it hasn't been for long. Just two weeks ago, he asked me at the theater, 'Who is that little blonde woman?' and he pointed to Fagette."
"I cannot understand," said the chronicler of an evening paper to a chronicler of a morning paper, "what can be the origin of our mania for calumniating humanity. I am amazed, on the other hand, by the number of decent people I come across. [Pg 155] It is enough to make one incline to the belief that men are ashamed of the good they do, and that they conceal themselves when performing acts of devotion and generosity. Don't you think that is so?"
"I can’t understand," said the reporter for an evening paper to the reporter for a morning paper, "what could be the reason for our obsession with slandering humanity. I’m actually surprised by how many decent people I encounter. [Pg 155] It’s enough to make someone think that people are embarrassed by the good they do and that they hide when they perform acts of kindness and generosity. Don’t you think that’s true?"
"As far as I am concerned," replied the chronicler of the morning paper, "every time I have opened a door by mistake—I mean this both literally and metaphorically—I have always come across some unsuspected baseness. Were society suddenly turned inside out like a glove, so that one could see the inside, we should all faint away with horror and disgust."
"As I see it," replied the morning paper's chronicler, "whenever I've accidentally opened a door—both literally and figuratively—I've always discovered some hidden ugliness. If society were to be turned inside out like a glove, revealing what’s underneath, we would all be horrified and disgusted."
"Some time ago," said Roger to the painter Michel, "I used to know Chevalier's uncle on the Butte de Montmartre. He was a photographer who dressed like an astrologer. A crazy old fellow, always sending one customer the portrait of another. The customers used to complain. But not all of them. There were even some who thought the portraits were a good likeness."
"Not long ago," Roger told the painter Michel, "I used to know Chevalier's uncle up on the Butte de Montmartre. He was a photographer who dressed like an astrologer. A quirky old guy, always sending one customer the portrait of another. The customers would complain. But not everyone. Some even thought the portraits were a good likeness."
"What has become of him?"
"What's happened to him?"
"He went bankrupt and hanged himself."
"He went bankrupt and took his own life."
In the Boulevard Saint-Michel Pradel, who was walking beside Trublet, was still profiting by the opportunity of obtaining information as to the immortality of the soul and the fate of man after death. He obtained nothing that seemed to him sufficiently positive and repeated:
In Boulevard Saint-Michel, Pradel, who was walking next to Trublet, was still taking advantage of the chance to gather information about the immortality of the soul and what happens to people after they die. He didn't get anything that felt clear enough to him and repeated:
"I should like to know."
"I'd like to know."
To which Dr. Socrates replied:
Dr. Socrates replied:
"Men were not made to know; men were not made to understand. They do not possess the necessary faculties. A man's brain is larger and richer in convolutions than that of a gorilla, but there is no essential difference between the two. Our highest thoughts and our most comprehensive systems will never be anything more than the magnificent extension of the ideas contained in the head of a monkey. We know more about the world than the dog does, and this flatters and entertains us; but it is very little in itself, and our illusions increase with our knowledge."
"Men weren't made to know; men weren't made to understand. They don't have the necessary abilities. A man's brain is larger and more complex than a gorilla's, but there's no fundamental difference between them. Our greatest thoughts and most all-encompassing systems are just an impressive expansion of the ideas found in a monkey's mind. We know more about the world than dogs do, which flatters and entertains us; but in reality, it's very little, and our illusions only grow as we gain more knowledge."
But Pradel was not listening. He was mentally rehearsing the speech which he had to deliver at Chevalier's grave.
But Pradel wasn't paying attention. He was mentally going over the speech he had to give at Chevalier's grave.
When the funeral procession turned towards the shabby grass-plots which overflow the Avenue de l'Observatoire, the tram-cars, out of respect for the dead, made way for it.
When the funeral procession headed towards the rundown grass areas overflowing the Avenue de l'Observatoire, the trams, out of respect for the deceased, cleared a path for it.
Trublet remarked upon this.
Trublet commented on this.
"Men," he said, "respect death, since they rightly believe that, if it is respectable to die, every one is assured of being respectable in that, at least."
"Men," he said, "respect death, because they rightly believe that if it’s honorable to die, then everyone can be assured of being honorable in that, at least."
The actors were excitedly discussing Chevalier's death. Durville, mysteriously, and in a deep voice, disclosed the tragedy:
The actors were eagerly talking about Chevalier's death. Durville, mysteriously and in a deep voice, revealed the tragedy:
"It is not a case of suicide. It is a crime of passion. Monsieur de Ligny surprised Chevalier with Nanteuil. He fired seven revolver shots at him. Two bullets struck our unfortunate comrade in the head and the chest, four went wide, and the fifth grazed Nanteuil below the left breast."
"It’s not a suicide. It’s a crime of passion. Monsieur de Ligny caught Chevalier with Nanteuil. He fired seven shots at him. Two bullets hit our unfortunate friend in the head and chest, four missed, and the fifth grazed Nanteuil just below the left breast."
"Is Nanteuil wounded?"
"Is Nanteuil hurt?"
"Only slightly."
"Just a little."
"Will Monsieur de Ligny be arrested?"
"Is Monsieur de Ligny going to be arrested?"
"The affair is to be hushed up, and rightly so. I have, however, the best authority for what I say."
"The situation needs to be kept quiet, and that's for the best. However, I have solid proof for what I'm claiming."
In the carriages, too, the actresses were engaged in spreading various reports. Some felt sure it was a case of murder; others, one of suicide.
In the carriages, the actresses were also busy spreading different rumors. Some were convinced it was murder; others thought it was suicide.
"He shot himself in the chest with a revolver," asserted Falempin. "But he only succeeded in wounding himself. The doctor said that if he had been attended to in time he might have been saved. But they left him lying on the floor, bathed in blood."
"He shot himself in the chest with a revolver," Falempin said. "But he only managed to wound himself. The doctor mentioned that if he had received help in time, he might have been saved. But they left him on the floor, covered in blood."
And Madame Doulce said to Ellen Midi:
And Madame Doulce said to Ellen Midi:
"It has often been my fate to stand beside a deathbed. I always go down on my knees and pray. I at once feel myself invaded by a heavenly serenity."
"It has often been my fate to stand next to a deathbed. I always drop to my knees and pray. I immediately feel a sense of heavenly calm wash over me."
"You are indeed fortunate!" replied Ellen Midi.
"You are really lucky!" replied Ellen Midi.
At the end of the Rue Campagne-Première, on the wide grey boulevards, they became conscious [Pg 158] of the length of the road which they had covered, and the melancholy nature of the journey. They felt that while following the coffin they had crossed the confines of life, and were already in the country of the dead. On their right stretched the yards of the marble-workers, the florists' shops which supplied wreaths for funerals, displays of potted flowers, and the economical furniture of tombs, zinc flower-stands, wreaths of immortelles in cement, and guardian angels in plaster. On their left, they could see behind the low wall of the cemetery the white crosses rising among the bare tops of the lime-trees, and everywhere, in the wan dust, they breathed death, commonplace, uniform deaths under the administration of City and State, and poorly embellished by the pious hands of relations.
At the end of Rue Campagne-Première, on the wide gray boulevards, they became aware [Pg 158] of the distance they had traveled and the sad nature of the journey. They felt that by following the coffin, they had crossed from life into the realm of the dead. To their right were the yards of marble workers, florists' shops that provided wreaths for funerals, displays of potted flowers, and cheap furnishings for graves, like zinc flower stands, cement wreaths, and plaster guardian angels. To their left, they could see over the low wall of the cemetery the white crosses rising among the bare tops of the linden trees, and all around them, in the dull dust, they sensed death—ordinary, uniform deaths overseen by the City and State, and poorly adorned by the loving hands of relatives.
They passed between two massive pillars of stone surmounted by winged hour-glasses. The hearse advanced slowly on the gravel which creaked in the silence. It seemed, amid the homes of the dead, to be twice as tall as before. The mourners read the famous names on some of the tombs, or gazed at the statue of a young girl, seated, book in hand. Old Maury deciphered, in the inscriptions, the age of the deceased. Short lives, and even more lives of average duration, distressed him as being of ill omen. But, when he encountered those of the dead who were notable for the length of their [Pg 159] years, he joyfully drew from them the hope and probability of a long lease of life.
They walked between two huge stone pillars topped with winged hourglasses. The hearse moved slowly over the gravel, which creaked in the quiet. It seemed, among the homes of the dead, to be twice as tall as before. The mourners read the famous names on some of the tombstones or looked at the statue of a young girl sitting with a book in her hand. Old Maury read the inscriptions to find out the ages of the deceased. Short lives, and even average ones, worried him as signs of bad luck. But when he saw those who had lived long lives, he happily took from them the hope and possibility of a long life ahead. [Pg 159]
The hearse stopped in the middle of a side alley. The clergy and the women stepped out of the coaches. Delage received in his arms, from the top of the carriage steps, the worthy Madame Ravaud, who was getting a little ponderous, and of a sudden, half in jest, half in earnest, he made certain proposals to her. She was no longer young, having been on the stage for half a century. Delage, with his twenty-five years, looked upon her as prodigiously old. Yet, as he whispered into her ear, he felt excited, infatuated, he became sincere, he really desired her, out of perverse curiosity, because he wanted to do something extraordinary, and was certain that he would be able to do it, perhaps because of his professional instinct as a handsome youth, and, lastly, because, in the first place having asked for what he did not want, he began to want what he had asked for. Madame Ravaud, indignant but flattered, made good her escape.
The hearse stopped in the middle of a side alley. The clergy and the women got out of the coaches. Delage took Madame Ravaud into his arms as she stepped down from the carriage. She was getting a bit heavy, and suddenly, half joking and half serious, he made some proposals to her. She wasn't young anymore, having been on stage for half a century. Delage, at just twenty-five, thought of her as incredibly old. Yet as he whispered in her ear, he felt excited and infatuated. He became sincere; he genuinely desired her, driven by perverse curiosity, wanting to do something extraordinary, and he was confident he could accomplish it—maybe because of his youthful charm as a handsome guy and, ultimately, because after asking for what he didn't want, he started to want what he had asked for. Madame Ravaud, though indignant, was flattered and managed to escape.
The coffin was carried along a narrow path bordered with dwarf cypresses, amid a murmuring of prayers:
The coffin was carried down a narrow path lined with small cypress trees, surrounded by whispers of prayers:
"In paradisum deducant te Angeli, in tuo adventu susciptant te Martyres et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Jerusalem, Chorus Angelorum te suscipiat et cum Lazaro, quondam paupere, æternam habeas requiem."
"May the angels lead you into paradise; at your arrival, may the martyrs greet you and bring you to the holy city of Jerusalem. May the choir of angels receive you, and may you have eternal rest with Lazarus, once a poor man."
Soon there was no longer any visible path. It was necessary, in following the quickly vanishing coffin, the priests and the choristers, to scatter, striding over the recumbent tombstones, and slipping between the broken columns and upright slabs. They lost the coffin and found it again. Nanteuil evinced a certain eagerness in her pursuit of it, anxious and abrupt, her prayer-book in her hand, freeing her skirt as it caught on the railings, and brushing past the withered wreaths which left the heads of immortelles adhering to her gown. Finally, the first to reach the graveside smelt the acrid odour of the freshly turned soil, and from the heights of the neighbouring flagstones saw the grave into which the coffin was being lowered.
Soon, there was no longer a visible path. To follow the quickly disappearing coffin, the priests and choir members had to scatter, stepping over the slumped tombstones and slipping between the broken columns and upright slabs. They lost sight of the coffin and found it again. Nanteuil showed a certain eagerness in her pursuit, anxious and abrupt, her prayer book in hand, pulling her skirt free as it caught on the railings, and brushing past the dried-out wreaths that left bits of immortelles stuck to her dress. Finally, the first to reach the gravesite smelled the strong scent of freshly turned soil, and from the heights of the surrounding flagstones, saw the grave into which the coffin was being lowered.
The actors had contributed liberally to the expenses of the funeral; they had clubbed together to buy for their comrade as much earth as he needed, two metres granted for five years. Romilly, on behalf of the actors of the Odéon, had paid the cemetery board 300 francs—to be exact, 301 fr. 80 centimes. He had even made plans for a monument, a broken stele with comedy masks suspended upon it. But no decision had been come to on this point.
The actors had generously contributed to the funeral expenses; they had come together to buy as much burial space as their friend needed, two meters rented for five years. Romilly, representing the actors of the Odéon, had paid the cemetery board 300 francs—specifically, 301.80 francs. He even had plans for a monument, a broken stele with comedy masks hanging from it. But no decision had been made on this matter.
The celebrant blessed the open grave. And the priest and the boy choristers murmured the responses:
The celebrant blessed the open grave. The priest and the young choirboys quietly murmured their responses:
"Requiem æternam dona ei, Domine."
"Grant him eternal rest, Lord."
"Et lux perpetua luceat ei."
"And let perpetual light shine upon him."
"Requiescat in pace."
"Rest in peace."
"Amen."
"Amen."
"Anima ejus et animæ omnium fidelium defunctorum, per misericordiam Dei, requiescant in pace."
"May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace."
"Amen."
"Amen."
"De profundis...."
"From the depths...."
Each one of those present came forward to sprinkle holy water on the coffin. Nanteuil stood watching it all, the prayers, the spadefuls of earth, the sprinkling; then, kneeling apart on the corner of a tomb, she fervently recited "Our Father who art in heaven...."
Each person there stepped up to sprinkle holy water on the coffin. Nanteuil watched everything—the prayers, the shovels of dirt, the sprinkling; then, kneeling alone at the corner of a grave, she earnestly recited, "Our Father who art in heaven...."
Pradel spoke at the graveside. He refrained from making a speech. But the Théâtre de l'Odéon could not allow a young artist beloved of all to depart without a word of farewell.
Pradel spoke at the graveside. He held back from giving a speech. But the Théâtre de l'Odéon couldn’t let a young artist, loved by everyone, leave without a farewell.
"I shall speak therefore, in the name of the great and true-hearted dramatic family, the words that are in every bosom."
"I will therefore speak on behalf of the great and sincere dramatic family, the words that are in everyone's heart."
Grouped about the speaker in studied attitudes, the actors listened with profound knowledge. They listened actively, with their ears, lips, eyes, arms, and legs. Each listened in his own manner, with nobility, simplicity, grief or rebelliousness, according to the parts which the actor was accustomed to play.
Grouped around the speaker in thoughtful poses, the actors listened with deep understanding. They were fully engaged, using their ears, lips, eyes, arms, and legs. Each one listened in their own way, embodying nobility, simplicity, grief, or rebelliousness, depending on the roles they were used to playing.
No, the director of the theatre would not suffer the valiant actor, who, in the course of his only too [Pg 162] brief career, had shown more than promise, to depart without a word of farewell.
No, the theater director wouldn’t let the brave actor, who, during his all-too-brief career, had shown more than just potential, leave without a word of goodbye. [Pg 162]
"Chevalier, impetuous, uneven, restless, imparted to his creations an individual character, a distinctive physiognomy. We saw him a very few days ago—a few hours ago, I might say—bring an episodical character into powerful relief. The author of the play was struck by the performance. Chevalier was on the verge of success. The sacred flame was his. There are those who have asked, what was the cause of so cruel an end? Let us not seek for that cause. Chevalier died of his art; he died of dramatic fever. He died consumed by the flame which is slowly consuming all of us. Alas, the stage, of which the public sees only the smiles, and the tears, as sweet as the smiles, is a jealous master which demands of its servants an absolute devotion and the most painful sacrifices, and, at times, claims its victims. In the name of all your comrades, farewell, Chevalier, farewell!"
"Chevalier, impulsive, inconsistent, and restless, gave his creations a unique character and distinct personality. We saw him just a few days ago—actually, just a few hours ago—bring a minor character to life in a powerful way. The playwright was impressed by the performance. Chevalier was on the brink of success. The sacred fire was his. Some have wondered what caused such a tragic end. Let’s not look for that reason. Chevalier died for his art; he died from the intense passion of drama. He died consumed by the fire that is slowly consuming all of us. Sadly, the stage, of which the audience sees only the smiles and the tears as sweet as the smiles, is a demanding master that requires complete dedication from its servants and can sometimes demand painful sacrifices, even claiming its victims. On behalf of all your fellow performers, farewell, Chevalier, farewell!"
The handkerchiefs were at work, wiping away the mourners' tears. The actors were weeping with all sincerity; they were weeping for themselves.
The handkerchiefs were busy, drying the tears of the mourners. The actors were crying genuinely; they were crying for themselves.
After they had slipped away, Dr. Trublet, left alone in the cemetery with Constantin Marc, took in the multitude of graves with a glance.
After they had sneaked away, Dr. Trublet, left alone in the cemetery with Constantin Marc, quickly surveyed the many graves.
"Do you remember," he said, "one of Auguste Comte's reflections: 'Humanity is composed of the [Pg 163] dead and the living. The dead are by far the more numerous.' Assuredly, the dead are by far the more numerous. By the multitudinous numbers and the magnitude of their work, they are more powerful. It's they who rule; we obey them. Our masters lie beneath these stones. Here is the lawgiver who made the law to which I submit to-day; the architect who built my house, the poet who created the illusions which still disturb us; the orator who swayed us before our birth. Here are all the artisans of our knowledge, true or false, of our wisdom and of our follies. There they lie, the inexorable leaders, whom we dare not disobey. In them dwells strength, continuity, and duration. What does a generation of living folk amount to, in comparison with the numberless generations of the dead? What is our will of a day before the will of a thousand centuries? Can we rebel against them? Why, we have not even time to disobey them!"
"Do you remember," he said, "one of Auguste Comte's thoughts: 'Humanity is made up of the [Pg 163] dead and the living. The dead are by far the greater number.' Truly, the dead are far more numerous. By their vast numbers and the significance of their work, they hold more power. They are the ones in control; we follow their lead. Our leaders rest beneath these stones. Here lies the lawmaker who created the laws I abide by today; the architect who designed my home, the poet who crafted the illusions that still haunt us; the speaker who influenced us before we were even born. Here are all the craftsmen of our knowledge—true or false—of our wisdom and our mistakes. They lie there, the unwavering leaders, whom we cannot defy. In them resides strength, continuity, and permanence. What does a generation of living people compare to the countless generations of the dead? What is our will for a single day against the will of a thousand centuries? Can we rise up against them? We barely have time to disobey!"
"At last you are coming to the point, Dr. Socrates!" said Constantin Marc. "You renounce progress, the new justice, the peace of the world, freedom of thought; you submit to tradition. You consent to the ancient error, the good old-fashioned ignorance, the venerable iniquity of our forbears. You withdraw into the French tradition, you submit to ancient custom, to the authority of our ancestors."
"Finally, you're getting to the point, Dr. Socrates!" said Constantin Marc. "You reject progress, the new justice, world peace, and freedom of thought; you give in to tradition. You agree to the old mistake, the good old-fashioned ignorance, the respected wrongs of our ancestors. You retreat into the French tradition, you bow to ancient customs, to the authority of those who came before us."
"Whence do you obtain custom and tradition?" asked Trablet. "Whence do you receive authority? There are irreconcilable traditions, diverse customs; and opposed authorities. The dead do not impose any one will upon us. They subject us to contradictory wills. The opinions of the past which weigh upon us are uncertain and confused. In crushing us they destroy one another. All these dead have lived, like ourselves, in the midst of disorder and contradiction. Each in his time, in his own fashion, in hatred or in love, has dreamed the dream of life. Let us in our turn dream this dream with kindness and joy, if it be possible, and let us go to lunch. I am taking you to a little tavern in the Rue Vavin, kept by Clémence, who cooks only one dish, but a marvellous one at that, the Castelnaudary cassoulet, not to be confused with the cassoulet prepared in the Carcassonne fashion, which is merely a leg of mutton with haricot beans. The cassoulet of Castelnaudary comprises pickled goose legs, haricot beans that have been previously bleached, bacon, and a small sausage. To be good, it must be cooked for a long time over a slow fire. Clémence's cassoulet has been cooking for twenty years. From time to time she puts in the saucepan, now a little bit of goose or bacon, now a sausage or some haricots, but it is always the same cassoulet. The stock remains, and this ancient and [Pg 165] precious stock gives it the flavour which, in the pictures of the old Venetian masters, one finds in the amber-coloured flesh of the women. Come, I want you to taste Clémence's cassoulet."
"Where do you get customs and traditions?" asked Trablet. "Where do you get your authority? There are conflicting traditions, different customs, and opposing authorities. The dead don't impose just one will on us. They put us under contradictory wills. The opinions of the past that burden us are uncertain and mixed up. In crushing us, they destroy each other. All these dead people lived, like us, in a world of chaos and contradiction. Each in their time, in their own way, out of hatred or love, dreamed the dream of life. Let us, in our turn, dream this dream with kindness and joy, if possible, and let’s go to lunch. I'm taking you to a little tavern on Rue Vavin, run by Clémence, who makes only one dish, but it’s a wonderful one—the Castelnaudary cassoulet, which should not be confused with the cassoulet made in the Carcassonne style, which is just a leg of mutton with haricot beans. The Castelnaudary cassoulet includes pickled goose legs, previously bleached haricot beans, bacon, and a small sausage. To taste good, it needs to be cooked for a long time over a slow fire. Clémence's cassoulet has been cooking for twenty years. From time to time she adds a little goose or bacon, or a sausage or some haricots to the pot, but it’s always the same cassoulet. The broth remains, and this ancient and precious stock gives it the flavor that, in the paintings of the old Venetian masters, you can see in the amber-colored flesh of the women. Come on, I want you to taste Clémence's cassoulet."
CHAPTER XI
aving said her prayer, Nanteuil, without waiting to hear Pradel's
speech, jumped into a carriage in order to join Robert de Ligny, who was
waiting for her in front of the Montparnasse railway station. Amid the
throng of passers-by they shook hands, gazing at one another without a
word. More than ever did they feel that they were bound together. Robert
loved her.
After finishing her prayer, Nanteuil, without waiting for Pradel's speech, jumped into a carriage to meet Robert de Ligny, who was waiting for her at the Montparnasse train station. Amid the crowd of people, they shook hands, looking at each other in silence. They felt more connected than ever. Robert was in love with her.
He loved her without knowing it. She was for him, or so he believed, merely one delight in the infinite series of possible delights. But delight had assumed for him the form of Félicie, and, had he reflected more deeply upon the innumerable women whom he promised himself in the vast remainder of his newly begun life, he would have recognized that now they were all Félicies. He might at least have realized that, without having any intention of being faithful to her, he did not dream of being unfaithful, and that since she had given herself to him he had not desired any other woman. But he did not realize it.
He loved her without even realizing it. To him, she was just one joy in the endless list of possible joys. But that joy took the shape of Félicie, and if he had thought more deeply about the countless women he imagined would be part of his long life ahead, he would have seen that they were all Félicies now. He could have at least understood that, even though he never intended to be loyal to her, he had no thoughts of being unfaithful either, and since she had given herself to him, he hadn't wanted any other woman. But he didn't see it.
On this occasion, however, standing in the bustling commonplace square, on seeing her no longer in the voluptuous shadow of night, nor under the caressing glimmer of the alcove which gave her naked form the delicious vagueness of a Milky Way, but in a harsh, diffused daylight, by the circumstantial illumination of a sunlight devoid of splendour and without shadows, which revealed beneath her veil her eyelids that were seared with tears, her pearly cheeks and roughened lips, he realized that he felt for this woman's flesh a profound and mysterious inclination.
On this occasion, however, standing in the busy public square, seeing her no longer enveloped in the luxurious shadow of night or under the gentle glow of the alcove that gave her bare form the dreamy quality of the Milky Way, but in a harsh, dull daylight, under a sunlight that lacked brilliance and shadows, which exposed her eyelids marked by tears, her flawless cheeks, and chapped lips beneath her veil, he realized that he had a deep and mysterious attraction to this woman's body.
He did not question her. They exchanged only tender trivial phrases. And, as she was very hungry, he took her to lunch at a well-known cabaret whose name shone in letters of gold on one of the old houses in the square. They had their meal served in the winter-garden, whose rockery, fountain, and solitary tree were multiplied by mirrors framed in a green trellis. When seated at the table, consulting the bill of fare, they conversed with less restraint than heretofore. He told her that the emotions and worries of the past three days had unstrung his nerves, but he no longer thought about it, and it would be absurd to worry about the matter any further. She spoke to him of her health, complaining that she could not sleep, save for a restless slumber full of dreams. But she did not tell him what she saw [Pg 168] in those dreams, and she avoided speaking of the dead man. He asked her if she had not spent a tiring morning, and why she had gone to the cemetery, a useless proceeding.
He didn't question her. They only exchanged sweet little remarks. Since she was really hungry, he took her to lunch at a popular cabaret, which had its name shining in gold letters on one of the old buildings in the square. They had their meal in the winter garden, where the rockery, fountain, and lonely tree were reflected in mirrors framed by a green trellis. Once they sat down at the table and looked over the menu, they talked more freely than before. He mentioned that the emotions and stress from the past three days had frayed his nerves, but he wasn’t thinking about it anymore, and it would be silly to worry about it further. She talked about her health, saying she couldn’t sleep except for a restless slumber filled with dreams. But she didn’t tell him what she saw in those dreams, and she avoided talking about the dead man. He asked her if she hadn’t had a tiring morning, and why she went to the cemetery, which he considered a pointless act. [Pg 168]
Incapable of explaining to him the depths of her soul, submissive to rites and propitiatory ceremonies and incantations, she shook her head as if to say:
Incapable of explaining to him the depths of her soul, submissive to rites and propitiatory ceremonies and incantations, she shook her head as if to say:
"Had to."
"Had to."
While those lunching at the adjoining tables were finishing their meal, they talked for a long time, both in subdued tones, while waiting to be served.
While the people at the tables next to them were finishing their meals, they chatted for a long time in quiet voices while waiting to be served.
Robert had promised himself, had sworn indeed never to reproach Félicie for having had Chevalier for her lover, or even to ask her a single question in this connection. And yet, moved by some obscure resentment, by an ebullition of ill-temper or natural curiosity, and also because he loved her too deeply to control himself, he said to her, with bitterness in his voice:
Robert had promised himself, even swore he would never blame Félicie for having Chevalier as her lover, or even ask her a single question about it. And yet, driven by some vague resentment, a burst of bad mood or natural curiosity, and also because he loved her too much to hold back, he said to her, with bitterness in his voice:
"You were on intimate terms with him, formerly."
"You were close with him before."
She was silent, and did not deny the fact. Not that she felt that it was henceforth useless to lie. On the contrary, she was in the habit of denying the obvious truth, and she had, of course, too much knowledge of men to be ignorant of the fact that, when in love, there is no lie, however clumsy, [Pg 169] which they cannot believe if they wish to do so. But on this occasion, contrary to her nature and habit, she refrained from lying. She was afraid of offending the dead. She imagined that in denying him she would be doing him a wrong, depriving him of his share, angering him. She held her peace, fearing to see him come and rest his elbows on the table, with his fixed smile and the hole in his head, and to hear him say in his plaintive voice. "Félicie, you surely cannot have forgotten our little room, in the Rue des Martyrs?"
She was quiet and didn’t deny it. It wasn't that she thought lying was pointless from then on. On the contrary, she was used to denying obvious truths, and she knew too much about men to be unaware that when they're in love, they'll believe any lie, no matter how awkward it is, if they want to. But this time, against her usual nature, she chose not to lie. She was worried about offending the deceased. She thought that by denying him, she would be wronging him, taking away his place, and angering him. She stayed silent, scared she might see him come in, leaning on the table with his fixed smile and the hole in his head, and hear him say in his sad voice, "Félicie, you haven't forgotten our little room on Rue des Martyrs, have you?" [Pg 169]
What he had become, for her, since his death, she could not have said, so alien was it to her beliefs, so contrary to her reason, and so antiquated, ridiculous and obsolete did the words which would have expressed her feeling seem to her. But from some remote inherited instinct, or more likely from certain tales which she had heard in her childhood, she derived a confused idea that he was of the number of those dead who in the days of old were wont to torment the living, and were exorcised by the priests; for upon thinking of him she instinctively began to make the sign of the cross, and she checked herself only that she might not seem ridiculous.
What he had become, for her, since his death, she couldn’t really say, so foreign was it to her beliefs, so against her reasoning, and the words that would have captured her feelings seemed outdated, silly, and irrelevant. But from some distant learned instinct, or probably from certain stories she had heard in her childhood, she developed a vague notion that he was one of those dead who used to haunt the living in ancient times and were driven away by priests; for when she thought about him, she instinctively started to make the sign of the cross, stopping herself only to avoid looking silly.
Ligny, seeing her melancholy and distracted, blamed himself for his harsh and useless words, while at the very moment of reproaching himself [Pg 170] for them he followed them by others equally harsh and equally useless.
Ligny, noticing her sadness and distraction, criticized himself for his harsh and pointless words, but at the same time he ended up following them with more equally harsh and equally pointless comments. [Pg 170]
"And yet you told me it was not true!"
"And yet you said it wasn't true!"
She replied, fervently:
She replied passionately:
"Because, don't you see, I wanted it not to be true."
"Because, don’t you see, I wished it weren’t true."
She added:
She said:
"Oh, my darling, since I've been yours, I swear to you that I've not belonged to anyone else. I don't claim any merit for this; I should have found it impossible."
"Oh, my love, since I've been with you, I promise that I haven't belonged to anyone else. I don’t think I deserve any praise for this; it would have been impossible for me."
Like the young of animals, she had need of gaiety. The wine, which shone in her glass like liquid amber, was a joy to her eyes, and she moistened her tongue with it with luxurious pleasure. She took an interest in the dishes set before her, and especially in the pommes de terre soufflées, like golden blisters. Next she watched the people lunching at the tables in the dining-room, attributing to them, according to their appearance, ridiculous opinions or grotesque passions. She noticed the ill-natured glances which the women directed toward her, and the efforts of the men to appear handsome and important. And she gave utterance to a general reflection:
Like young animals, she craved joy. The wine, glowing in her glass like liquid amber, was a delight to her eyes, and she savored it with luxurious pleasure. She showed interest in the dishes set before her, especially the pommes de terre soufflées, looking like golden blisters. Then she observed the people having lunch at the tables in the dining room, imagining ridiculous opinions or bizarre passions based on their appearance. She caught the nasty looks the women shot her way and noticed how the men tried to appear handsome and important. And she voiced a general thought:
"Robert, have you noticed that people are never natural? They do not say a thing because they think it. They say it because they think it is what [Pg 171] they ought to say. This habit makes them very wearisome. And it is extremely rare to find anyone who is natural. You, you are natural."
"Robert, have you noticed that people are never genuine? They don’t speak because they truly believe something; they speak because they think it’s what they should say. This habit makes them really tiring. It’s incredibly rare to find someone who is genuine. You, you are genuine."
"Well, I don't think I'm guilty of posing."
"Well, I don't think I'm guilty of pretending."
"You pose like the rest. But you pose in your own character. I can see perfectly well when you are trying to surprise and impress me."
"You act like everyone else, but you do it in your own way. I can see clearly when you're trying to shock and impress me."
She spoke to him of himself and, led back by an involuntary train of thought to the tragedy enacted at Neuilly, she inquired:
She talked to him about himself and, drawn back by an involuntary train of thought to the tragedy that happened at Neuilly, she asked:
"Did your mother say anything to you?"
"Did your mom say anything to you?"
"No."
"Nope."
"Yet she must have known."
"Still, she must have known."
"It is probable."
"It's likely."
"Are you on good terms with her?"
"Are you on good terms with her?"
"Why, yes!"
"Absolutely!"
"They say she is still very beautiful, your mother, is it so?"
"They say your mom is still really beautiful, is that true?"
He did not answer her and sought to change the conversation. He did not like Félicie to speak to him of his mother, or to turn her attention to his family. Monsieur and Madame de Ligny enjoyed the highest consideration in Parisian society. Monsieur de Ligny, a diplomatist by birth and by profession, was in himself a person worthy of the greatest consideration. He was so even before his birth, by virtue of the diplomatic services which his ancestors had rendered to France. His great-grandfather [Pg 172] had signed the surrender of Pondicherry to England. Madame de Ligny lived with her husband on the most correct terms. But, although she had no money of her own, she lived in great style, and her gowns were one of the greatest glories of France. She received intimate visits from an ex-Ambassador. His age, his position, his opinions, his titles, and his great fortune made the connection respectable. Madame de Ligny kept the ladies of the Republic at arm's length, and, when the spirit moved her, gave them lessons in decorum. She had nothing to fear from the opinion of the fashionable world. Robert knew that she was looked upon with respect by people in society. But he was continually dreading that, in speaking of her, Félicie might fail to do so with all the needful reserve. He feared lest, not being in society, she might say that which had better have been left unsaid. He was wrong; Félicie knew nothing of the private life of Madame de Ligny; moreover, had she known of it, she would not have blamed her. The lady inspired her with a naive curiosity and an admiration mingled with fear. Since her lover was unwilling to speak to her of his mother, she attributed his reserve to a certain aristocratic arrogance, even to a lack of consideration, for her, at which the pride of the freewoman and the plebeian was up in arms. She was wont to say to him tartly:
He didn’t respond to her and tried to change the topic. He didn’t like Félicie talking about his mother or focusing on his family. Monsieur and Madame de Ligny were highly respected in Parisian society. Monsieur de Ligny, a diplomat by both birth and profession, was a person deserving of great respect. He had earned it even before his birth because of the diplomatic services his ancestors provided to France. His great-grandfather [Pg 172] had signed the surrender of Pondicherry to England. Madame de Ligny lived with her husband on impeccable terms. However, even though she didn’t have any money of her own, she lived lavishly, and her dresses were among France’s greatest prides. She received close visits from a former Ambassador. His age, status, opinions, titles, and wealth made their connection respectable. Madame de Ligny kept the ladies of the Republic at a distance and, when she felt like it, taught them lessons in manners. She had nothing to fear from the fashionable world’s opinion. Robert knew she was respected by society. But he constantly worried that when talking about her, Félicie might not do so with the necessary discretion. He feared that, since she wasn’t part of high society, she might say things better left unsaid. He was mistaken; Félicie knew nothing about Madame de Ligny’s private life; moreover, even if she had known, she wouldn’t have judged her. The lady filled her with a naive curiosity and admiration mixed with fear. Since her lover was reluctant to discuss his mother, she interpreted his reticence as a kind of aristocratic superiority and even a lack of thoughtfulness toward her, which made her proud, independent nature flare up in defiance. She often remarked to him sharply:
"I'm perfectly free to speak of your mother." The first time she had added: "Mine is just as good as yours." But she had realized that the remark was vulgar, and she had not repeated it.
"I'm totally free to talk about your mom." The first time she added, "Mine's just as great as yours." But she realized that the comment was tacky, and she hadn't said it again.
The dining-room was now empty. She looked at her watch, and saw that it was three o'clock.
The dining room was now empty. She checked her watch and saw that it was three o'clock.
"I must be off," she said. "La Grille is being rehearsed this afternoon. Constantin Marc ought to be at the theatre already. There's another queer fellow for you! He boasts that when he's in the Vivarais he ruins all the women. And yet he is so shy that he daren't even talk to Fagette and Falempin. I frighten him. It amuses me."
"I have to go," she said. "La Grille is being rehearsed this afternoon. Constantin Marc should be at the theater already. There's another odd guy for you! He claims that when he's in Vivarais, he seduces all the women. And yet he's so shy that he won't even talk to Fagette and Falempin. I scare him. It makes me laugh."
She was so tired that she had not the courage to rise.
She was so tired that she didn't have the strength to get up.
"Isn't it queer? They are saying everywhere that I'm engaged for the Français, it's not true. There's not even a question of it. Of course, I can't remain indefinitely where I am. In the long run one would get besotted there. But there is no hurry. I have a great part to create in La Grille. We shall see after that. What I want is to play comedy. I don't want to join the Français and then to do nothing."
"Isn't it strange? Everyone is saying that I'm engaged with the Comédie-Française, but that's not true. There's not even a chance of it. Of course, I can't stay where I am forever. Eventually, it would drive me crazy. But there's no rush. I have a significant role to play in La Grille. We'll see what happens after that. What I want is to do comedy. I don't want to join the Comédie-Française and then sit around doing nothing."
Suddenly, gazing in front of her with eyes full of terror, she flung herself backwards, turned pale, and uttered a shrill scream. Then her eyelids fluttered, and she murmured that she could not breathe.
Suddenly, staring in front of her with eyes wide in fear, she threw herself back, turned pale, and let out a loud scream. Then her eyelids fluttered, and she murmured that she couldn't breathe.
Robert loosened her jacket, and moistened her temples with a little water.
Robert loosened her jacket and dampened her temples with a bit of water.
She spoke.
She talked.
"A priest! I saw a priest. He was in his surplice. His lips were moving, but no sound came from them. He looked at me."
"A priest! I saw a priest. He was wearing his surplice. His lips were moving, but no sound came out. He was looking at me."
He tried to comfort her.
He tried to cheer her up.
"Come now, my darling, how can you suppose that a priest, a priest in his surplice, would show himself in a restaurant?"
"Come on, my love, how can you think that a priest, a priest in his robe, would go to a restaurant?"
She listened obediently, and allowed herself to be persuaded.
She listened attentively and let herself be convinced.
"You are right, you are right, I know it well enough."
"You’re right, you’re right, I know that for sure."
In that little head of hers illusions were soon dispelled. She was born two hundred and thirty years after the death of Descartes, of whom she had never heard; yet, as Dr. Socrates would have said, he had taught her the use of reason.
In her little head, illusions quickly faded away. She was born two hundred and thirty years after Descartes died, someone she had never heard of; yet, as Dr. Socrates would have said, he had taught her how to use reason.
Robert met her at six o'clock after the rehearsal, under the arcades of the Odéon, and drove away with her in a cab.
Robert met her at six o'clock after the rehearsal, under the arcades of the Odéon, and left in a cab with her.
"Where are we going?" she inquired.
"Where are we headed?" she asked.
He hesitated a little.
He paused for a moment.
"You would not care to go back to our house out there?"
"You wouldn't want to go back to our house out there?"
She cried out at the suggestion.
She yelled at the suggestion.
"Oh no! I couldn't! Oh, heavens, never!"
"Oh no! I can't! Oh, my gosh, no way!"
He replied that he had thought as much; that he would try to find something else: a little ground-floor flat in Paris; that in the meantime, just for to-day, they would content themselves with a chance abode.
He said he had figured as much; that he would look for something else: a small ground-floor apartment in Paris; that for now, just for today, they would settle for a temporary place.
She gazed at him with fixed, heavy eyes, drew him violently towards her, scorching his neck and ear with the breath of her desire. Then her arms fell away from him, and she sank back beside him, dejected and relaxed.
She looked at him with intense, heavy eyes, pulled him forcefully towards her, heating his neck and ear with her breath of desire. Then her arms dropped away from him, and she leaned back beside him, feeling dejected and relaxed.
When the cab stopped, she said:
When the cab came to a stop, she said:
"You will not be vexed with me, will you, my own Robert, at what I am going to say? Not to-day—to-morrow."
"You won’t be upset with me, will you, my dear Robert, about what I’m about to say? Not today—tomorrow."
She had considered it necessary to make this sacrifice to the jealous dead.
She believed it was necessary to make this sacrifice to the envious dead.
CHAPTER XII
n the following day, he took her to a furnished room, commonplace but
cheerful, which he had selected on the first floor of a house facing the
square, near the Bibliothèque Nationale. In the centre of the square
stood the basin of a fountain, supported by lusty nymphs. The paths,
bordered with laurel and spindlewood, were deserted, and from this
little-frequented spot one heard the vast and reassuring hum of the
city. The rehearsal had finished very late. When they entered the room
the night, already slower to arrive in this season of melting snow, was
beginning to cast its gloom over the hangings. The large mirrors of the
wardrobe and overmantel were filling with vague lights and shadows. She
took off her fur coat, went to look out of the window between the
curtains and said:
The next day, he took her to a furnished room, simple but bright, that he had chosen on the first floor of a building facing the square, close to the Bibliothèque Nationale. In the middle of the square stood a fountain basin, held up by lively nymphs. The paths lined with laurel and spindlewood were empty, and from this rarely visited spot, you could hear the vast and comforting buzz of the city. The rehearsal had ended very late. When they entered the room, the night, already taking its time to arrive in this season of melting snow, was starting to spread its darkness over the curtains. The large mirrors of the wardrobe and overmantel were filling with blurry lights and shadows. She took off her fur coat, went to look out the window between the curtains, and said:
"Robert, the steps are wet."
"Robert, the stairs are wet."
He answered that there was no flight of steps, only the pavement and the road, and then another pavement and the railings of the square.
He replied that there were no stairs, just the sidewalk and the street, and then another sidewalk and the railings of the square.
"You are a Parisian, you know this square well. In the centre, among the trees, there is a monumental fountain, with enormous women whose breasts are not as pretty as yours."
"You’re a Parisian, you know this square well. In the center, among the trees, there’s a monumental fountain, with huge women whose breasts aren’t as pretty as yours."
In his impatience he helped her to undo her cloth frock; but he could not find the hooks, and scratched himself with the pins.
In his impatience, he helped her take off her cloth dress, but he couldn't find the hooks and ended up scratching himself with the pins.
"I am clumsy," he said.
"I'm clumsy," he said.
She retorted laughingly:
She laughed in response:
"You are certainly not so clever as Madame Michon! It's not so much clumsiness, but you are afraid of getting pricked. Men are a cowardly race. As for women, they have to accustom themselves to suffer. It's true: to be a woman is to be nearly always ailing."
"You’re definitely not as clever as Madame Michon! It’s not really about being clumsy; you’re just afraid of getting hurt. Men are a cowardly bunch. Women, on the other hand, have to get used to suffering. It’s true: being a woman means you’re almost always dealing with pain."
He did not notice that she was pale, with dark rings round her eyes. He desired her so ardently; he no longer saw her.
He didn't notice that she was pale with dark circles under her eyes. He wanted her so badly; he couldn't see her anymore.
"They are very sensitive to pain," he said, "but they are also very sensitive to pleasure. Do you know Claude Bernard?"
"They're really sensitive to pain," he said, "but they're also really sensitive to pleasure. Do you know Claude Bernard?"
"No."
"Nope."
"He was a great scientist. He said that he didn't hesitate to recognize woman's supremacy in the domain of physical and moral sensibility."
"He was a brilliant scientist. He stated that he readily acknowledged women's superiority in the areas of emotional and moral sensitivity."
Nantueil; unhooking her stays, replied:
Nantueil, unhooking her corset, replied:
"If he meant by that that all women are sensitive, he was indeed an old greenhorn. He ought [Pg 178] to have seen Fagette; he would soon have discovered whether it was easy to get anything out of her in the domain—how did he express it?—of physical and moral sensibility."
"If he thought that all women are sensitive, he was definitely a naïve fool. He should have met Fagette; he would have quickly found out if it was easy to get anything from her in the area—how did he put it?—of physical and moral sensitivity."
And she added with gentle pride:
And she said with a hint of pride:
"Don't you make any mistake, Robert, there's not such a heap of women like myself."
"Don't make any mistake, Robert, there aren't many women like me."
As he was drawing her into his arms, she released herself.
As he was pulling her into his arms, she pulled away.
"You are hindering me."
"You are blocking me."
Sitting down and doubling herself up in order to undo her boots, she continued.
Sitting down and folding herself over to untie her boots, she kept going.
"Do you know, Dr. Socrates told me the other day that he had seen an apparition. He saw a donkey-boy who had murdered a little girl. I dreamt of the story last night, only in my dream I could not make out whether the donkey-boy was a man or a woman. What a mix-up the dream was! Talking of Dr. Socrates, just guess whose lover he is—why, the lady who keeps the circulating library in the Rue Mazarine. She is no longer very young, but she is very intelligent. Do you think he is faithful to her? I'll take off my stockings, it's more becoming."
"Did you know that Dr. Socrates told me the other day he saw a ghost? He saw a donkey-boy who had killed a little girl. I dreamt about it last night, but in my dream, I couldn't tell if the donkey-boy was a man or a woman. What a confusing dream it was! Speaking of Dr. Socrates, guess who his lover is—it's the lady who runs the library on Rue Mazarine. She’s not very young anymore, but she’s really smart. Do you think he’s loyal to her? I'll take off my stockings; it looks better."
And she went on to tell him a story of the theatre:
And she continued to share a story about the theater:
"I really don't think I shall remain at the Odéon much longer."
"I really don’t think I’ll stay at the Odéon much longer."
"Why?"
"Why?"
"You'll see. Pradel said to me to-day, before rehearsal 'My dear little Nanteuil, there has never been anything between us. It is ridiculous.' He was extremely decorous, but he gave me to understand that we were in a false position with regard to one another, which could not go on indefinitely. You must know that Pradel has established a rule. Formerly he used to pick and choose among his pensionnaires. He had favourites, and that caused an outcry. Nowadays, for the better administration of the theatre, he takes them all, even those he has no liking for, even those who are distasteful to him. There are no more favourites. Everything goes splendidly. Ah, he's a director all through, is Pradel!"
"You'll see. Pradel told me today, before rehearsal, 'My dear little Nanteuil, there has never been anything between us. It’s ridiculous.' He was quite formal, but he made it clear that we were in a situation that couldn't continue indefinitely. You should know that Pradel has set a new rule. In the past, he would pick and choose among his pensionnaires. He had favorites, and that caused quite a stir. Now, for better management of the theater, he accepts all of them, even those he doesn't like, even those he finds unpleasant. There are no more favorites. Everything runs smoothly. Ah, Pradel is a true director!"
As Robert, in the bed, listened in silence, she went up to him and shook him:
As Robert lay in bed listening quietly, she approached him and shook him:
"Then it's all the same to you if I carry on with Pradel?"
"Then you don't mind if I continue with Pradel?"
"No, my dear, it would not be all the same to me. But nothing I might say would prevent it."
"No, my dear, it wouldn't be the same for me at all. But nothing I say would change that."
Bending over him, she caressed him ardently, pretending to threaten and to punish him; and she cried:
Bending over him, she affectionately touched him, feigning to threaten and punish him; and she shouted:
"Then you don't really love me, that you are not jealous. I insist that you shall be jealous."
"Then you don't really love me if you're not jealous. I insist that you should be jealous."
Then, suddenly, she moved away from him, and [Pg 180] hitching over her left shoulder her chemise, which had slipped down under her right breast, she loitered in front of the dressing-table and inquired uneasily:
Then, suddenly, she pulled away from him, and [Pg 180] pulling her chemise back over her left shoulder, which had slipped down under her right breast, she hung around in front of the dressing table and asked nervously:
"Robert, you have not brought anything here from the other room?"
"Robert, didn't you bring anything from the other room?"
"Nothing."
"None."
Thereupon, softly, timidly, she slipped into the bed. But hardly had she lain down when she raised herself from the pillow on her elbow, and, craning her neck, listened with parted lips. It seemed to her that she could hear slight sounds of footsteps along the gravel path which she had heard in the house in the Boulevard de Villiers. She ran to the window; she saw the Judas tree, the lawn, the garden gate. Knowing what she was yet to see, she sought to hide her face in her hands, but she could not raise her arms, and Chevalier's face rose up before her.
Thereafter, quietly and nervously, she slid into bed. But just as she lay down, she propped herself up on her elbow and, straining her neck, listened with her lips slightly parted. It felt like she could hear faint footsteps along the gravel path, the same sounds she had noticed in the house on Boulevard de Villiers. She quickly ran to the window; she saw the Judas tree, the lawn, and the garden gate. Anticipating what she might see, she tried to cover her face with her hands, but she couldn’t lift her arms, and Chevalier's face appeared in her mind.
CHAPTER XIII
he had returned home in a burning fever. Robert, after dining en
famille, had retired to his attic. His nerves were on edge, and he was
badly out of temper as a result of the manner in which Nanteuil had left
him.
She had come home with a high fever. After having dinner with the family, Robert had gone up to his attic. He was feeling anxious and was in a terrible mood because of how Nanteuil had left him.
His shirt and his clothes, laid out on the bed by his valet, seemed to be waiting for him in a domestic and obsequious attitude. He began to dress himself with a somewhat ill-tempered alacrity. He was impatient to leave the house. He opened his round window, listened to the murmur of the city, and saw above the roofs the glow which rose into the sky from the city of Paris. He scented from afar all the amorous flesh gathered, on this winter's night, in the theatres and the great cabarets, the café-concerts and the bars.
His shirt and clothes, laid out on the bed by his valet, seemed to be waiting for him in a familiar and submissive way. He started to dress with a somewhat grumpy eagerness. He was anxious to leave the house. He opened his round window, listened to the city's murmur, and saw the glow rising into the sky from the city of Paris above the rooftops. He could sense all the romantic energy gathered, on this winter night, in the theaters and the great cabarets, the café-concerts, and the bars.
Irritated by Félicie's denial of his desires, he had decided to satisfy them elsewhere, and as he was not conscious of any preference he believed that his only difficulty would be to make a choice; but he presently realized that he had no desire for any [Pg 182] of the women of his acquaintance, nor did he even feel any desire for an unknown woman. He closed his window, and seated himself before the fire.
Irritated by Félicie's rejection of his desires, he decided to fulfill them elsewhere. Since he wasn't aware of any particular preference, he thought his only challenge would be to make a choice. However, he soon realized that he didn't feel attracted to any of the women he knew, nor did he feel any desire for a stranger. He closed his window and sat down in front of the fire. [Pg 182]
It was a coke fire; Madame de Ligny, who wore cloaks costing a thousand pounds, was wont to economize in the matter of her table and her fires. She would not allow wood to be burned in her house.
It was a coke fire; Madame de Ligny, who wore cloaks worth a thousand pounds, was known to cut back when it came to her food and heating. She wouldn't allow wood to be burned in her house.
He reflected upon his own affairs, to which he had so far given little or no thought; upon the career he had embraced, and which he beheld obscurely before him. The Minister was a great friend of his family. A mountaineer of the Cévennes, brought up on chestnuts, his dazzled eyes blinked at the flower-bedecked tables of Paris. He was too shrewd and too wily not to retain his advantage over the old aristocracy, which welcomed him to its bosom: the advantage of harsh caprices and arrogant refusals. Ligny knew him, and expected no favours at his hands. In this respect he was more perspicacious than his mother, who credited herself with a certain power over the dark, hairy little man, whom every Thursday she engulfed in her majestic skirts on the way from the drawing-room to the dinner-table. He judged him to be disobliging. And then something had gone wrong between them. Robert, as ill luck would have it, had forestalled his Minister in his intimacy with a [Pg 183] lady whom the latter loved to the verge of absurdity: Madame de Neuilles, a woman of easy virtue. And it seemed to him that the hairy little man suspected it, and regarded him with an unfriendly eye. And, lastly, the idea had grown upon him at the Quai d'Orsay that Ministers are neither able nor willing to do very much. But he did not exaggerate matters, and thought it quite possible that he might obtain a minor secretaryship. Such had been his wish hitherto. He was most anxious not to leave Paris. His mother, on the contrary, would have preferred that he should be sent to The Hague, where a post as third secretary was vacant. Now, of a sudden, he decided in favour of The Hague. "I'll go," he said. "The sooner the better." Having made up his mind, he reviewed his reasons. In the first place, it would be an excellent thing for his future career. Again, The Hague post was a pleasant one. A friend of his, who had held it, had enlarged upon the delightful hypocrisy of the sleepy little capital, where everything was engineered and "wangled" for the comfort of the Diplomatic Corps. He reflected, also, that The Hague was the august cradle of a new international law, and finally went so far as to invoke the argument that he would be giving pleasure to his mother. After which he realized that he wanted to leave home solely on account of Félicie.
He thought about his own life, which he had really paid little attention to so far; about the career he had chosen, which seemed unclear to him. The Minister was a close family friend. A mountain guy from the Cévennes, raised on chestnuts, he blinked in awe at the fancy tables of Paris. He was too smart and too cunning not to keep his edge over the old aristocracy, which welcomed him with open arms: the advantage of harsh whims and arrogant rejections. Ligny knew him well and expected no favors from him. In this way, he was more insightful than his mother, who believed she had some influence over the dark, hairy little man, whom she wrapped in her majestic skirts every Thursday while moving from the drawing-room to the dinner table. He thought the man was unhelpful. And then something had gone wrong between them. As luck would have it, Robert had gotten close to a woman the Minister absurdly loved: Madame de Neuilles, a woman of loose morals. It seemed to him that the hairy little man suspected something and looked at him with disapproval. Lastly, he had started to think at the Quai d'Orsay that Ministers were neither able nor willing to do much. But he didn’t overreact and thought it was still possible for him to get a minor secretarial position. That had been his hope up to now. He was very eager not to leave Paris. His mother, on the other hand, would have preferred for him to go to The Hague, where a third secretary position was available. Suddenly, he decided to choose The Hague. "I'll go," he said. "The sooner, the better." Once he made up his mind, he reviewed his reasons. First, it would be great for his future career. Also, the post in The Hague was nice. A friend of his, who had held that position, had spoken highly of the charmingly deceptive life in the sleepy little capital, where everything was arranged for the comfort of the Diplomatic Corps. He also considered that The Hague was at the forefront of new international law, and finally made the point that he would be making his mother happy. After all this, he realized that his main reason for wanting to leave home was solely because of Félicie.
His thoughts of her were not benevolent. He knew her to be mendacious, timorous, and a malicious friend. He had proof that she was given to falling in love with actors of the lowest type, or, at all events, that she made shift with them. He was not certain that she did not deceive him, not that he had discovered anything suspect in the life which she was leading, but because he was properly distrustful of all women. He conjured up in his mind all the evil that he knew of her, and persuaded himself that she was a little jade, and, being conscious that he loved her, he believed that he loved her merely because of her extreme prettiness. This reason seemed to him a sound one; but on analysing it he perceived that it explained nothing; that he loved the girl not because she was exceedingly pretty, but because she was pretty in a certain uncommon fashion of her own; that he loved her for that which was incomparable and rare in her; because, in a word, she was a wonderful thing of art and voluptuousness, a living gem of priceless value. Thereupon, realizing how weak he was, he wept, mourning over his lost freedom, his captive mind, his disordered soul, the devotion of his very flesh and blood to a weak, perfidious little creature.
His thoughts about her weren't kind. He knew she was dishonest, fearful, and a harmful friend. He had proof that she tended to fall in love with the lowest kind of actors or, at least, that she settled for them. He wasn’t sure if she was deceiving him; it wasn't that he found anything suspicious in the life she was leading, but because he was naturally distrustful of all women. He summoned all the negative things he knew about her in his mind and convinced himself that she was just a manipulative girl. Aware that he loved her, he believed it was only because she was extremely pretty. This reasoning seemed solid, but upon reflection, he realized it explained nothing at all; he loved her not just because she was very pretty, but due to her unique and uncommon beauty. He loved her for what was exceptional and rare in her; in short, she was a stunning piece of art and desire, a living gem of immense worth. Then, realizing how weak he was, he wept, grieving for his lost freedom, his trapped mind, his chaotic soul, and the devotion of his very being to a fragile, treacherous little creature.
He had scorched his eyes by gazing at the coke fire behind the bars of the grate. He closed them in pain and, under his closed eyes, he saw negroes [Pg 185] leaping before him in an obscene and bloody riot. While he sought to remember from what book of travel, read in boyhood, these blacks emerged, he saw them diminish, resolve themselves into imperceptible specks, and disappear into a red Africa, which little by little came to represent the wound seen by the light of a match on the night of the suicide. He reflected.
He had burned his eyes by staring at the coke fire behind the bars of the grate. He closed them in agony, and beneath his closed eyelids, he saw Black people [Pg 185] jumping before him in a disturbing and bloody chaos. As he tried to recall from which travel book he had read about these people in his childhood, he watched them shrink down, transform into tiny dots, and vanish into a red Africa, which slowly morphed into the wound illuminated by a matchlight on the night of the suicide. He reflected.
"That fool of a Chevalier! Why, I was scarcely thinking of the fellow!"
"That idiot Chevalier! I was hardly thinking about him!"
Suddenly, against this background of blood and flame; appeared the slender form of Félicie, and he felt lurking within him a hot, cruel desire.
Suddenly, against this backdrop of blood and fire, the slender figure of Félicie appeared, and he felt a fierce, harsh desire stirring inside him.
CHAPTER XIV
e went to see her the following day, in the little flat in the
Boulevard Saint-Michel. He was not in the habit of going thither. He did
not particularly care to meet Madame Nanteuil; she bored him and
embarrassed him, although she was extremely polite to him, even to
obsequiousness.
He went to see her the next day, in the small apartment on Boulevard Saint-Michel. He wasn’t used to going there. He didn’t especially want to meet Madame Nanteuil; she bored him and made him uncomfortable, even though she was very polite to him, almost to the point of being fawning.
It was she who received him in the little drawing-room. She thanked him for his interest in Félicie's health, and informed him that she had been restless and unwell the night before, but was now feeling better.
It was her who welcomed him in the small living room. She thanked him for caring about Félicie's health and told him that she had been uneasy and unwell the night before, but was now feeling better.
"She is in her bedroom, working at her part. I will tell her that you are here. She will be very glad to see you, Monsieur de Ligny. She knows that you are very fond of her. And true friends are rare, especially in the theatrical world."
"She's in her bedroom, handling her part. I'll let her know you’re here. She'll be really happy to see you, Monsieur de Ligny. She knows how much you care about her. True friends are hard to come by, especially in the world of theater."
Robert observed Madame Nanteuil with an attention which he had not hitherto bestowed upon her. He was trying to see in her face the face that would be her daughter's in years to come. When [Pg 187] walking in the street he was fond of reading, in the faces of the mothers, the love-affairs of the daughters. And on this occasion he assiduously deciphered the features and the figure of this woman as an interesting prophecy. He discovered nothing either of bad or good augury. Madame Nanteuil, plump, fresh-complexioned, cool-skinned, was not unattractive with the sensuous fullness of her contours. But her daughter did not in the least resemble her.
Robert looked at Madame Nanteuil with a focus he hadn't given her before. He was trying to imagine what her daughter would look like in the future. When [Pg 187] walking down the street, he enjoyed reading the romantic histories of daughters in their mothers' faces. This time, he carefully studied this woman's features and figure as an interesting glimpse of what might come. He found nothing that suggested anything particularly good or bad. Madame Nanteuil, plump, with a fresh complexion and cool skin, had a certain appeal with the soft fullness of her shape. But her daughter was nothing like her at all.
Seeing her so collected and serene, he said to her:
Seeing her so calm and composed, he said to her:
"You yourself are not of a nervous temperament?"
"You aren't a nervous person, are you?"
"I have never been nervous. My daughter does not take after me. She is the living image of her father. He was delicate, although his health was not bad. He died of a fall from his horse. You'll take a cup of tea, won't you, Monsieur de Ligny?"
"I've never been nervous. My daughter doesn't take after me. She looks just like her father. He was fragile, even though his health wasn’t bad. He died from a fall off his horse. You'll have a cup of tea, won't you, Monsieur de Ligny?"
Félicie entered the room. Her hair was outspread upon her shoulders; she was wrapped in a white woollen dressing-gown, held very loosely at the waist by a heavy embroidered girdle, and she shuffled along in red slippers; she looked a mere child. The friend of the house, Tony Meyer, the picture dealer, was wont when he saw her in this garment, which was a trifle monkish in appearance, [Pg 188] to call her Brother Ange de Charolais, because he had discovered in her a resemblance to a portrait by Nattier which represented Mademoiselle de Charolais in the Franciscan habit. Before this little girl, Robert was surprised and silent.
Félicie walked into the room. Her hair fell softly over her shoulders; she wore a white wool dressing gown that hung loosely at her waist, secured by a heavy embroidered belt, and she shuffled around in red slippers; she looked just like a little girl. The family's friend, Tony Meyer, the art dealer, often called her Brother Ange de Charolais when he saw her in this outfit, which had a slightly monk-like vibe, [Pg 188] because he noticed a resemblance to a portrait by Nattier depicting Mademoiselle de Charolais in a Franciscan robe. In front of this young girl, Robert was both surprised and speechless.
"It's kind of you," she said, "to have come to inquire after me. I am better, thank you."
"It's really nice of you," she said, "to come and check on me. I'm feeling better, thank you."
"She works very hard; she works too hard," said Madame Nanteuil. "Her part in La Grille is tiring her."
"She works really hard; she works too hard," said Madame Nanteuil. "Her role in La Grille is exhausting her."
"Oh no, mother."
"Oh no, Mom."
They spoke of the theatre, and the conversation languished.
They talked about the theater, and the conversation dwindled.
During a moment's silence, Madame Nanteuil asked Monsieur de Ligny if he were still collecting old fashion-prints.
During a brief pause, Madame Nanteuil asked Monsieur de Ligny if he was still collecting vintage fashion prints.
Félicie and Robert looked at her without understanding. They had told her not long before some fiction about engraved fashion-plates, to explain the meetings which they had not been able to conceal. But they had quite forgotten the fact. Since then, a piece of the moon, as an old author has said, had fallen into their love; Madame Nanteuil alone, in her profound respect for fiction, remembered it.
Félicie and Robert looked at her in confusion. Not long ago, they had spun a story about engraved fashion plates to explain the meetings they couldn’t hide. But they had completely forgotten about that. Since then, as an old writer once noted, a bit of the moon had fallen into their romance; only Madame Nanteuil, in her deep respect for fiction, still remembered it.
"My daughter told me you had a great number of those old engravings and that she used to find ideas for her costumes in them."
"My daughter told me you have a lot of those old engravings and that she used to get ideas for her costumes from them."
"Quite so, madame, quite so."
"Absolutely, ma'am, absolutely."
"Come here, Monsieur de Ligny," said Félicie. "I want to show you a design for a costume for the part of Cécile de Rochemaure."
"Come here, Mr. Ligny," Félicie said. "I want to show you a design for a costume for the role of Cécile de Rochemaure."
And she carried him off to her room.
And she took him to her room.
It was a small room hung with flowered paper; the furniture consisted of a wardrobe with a mirror, a couple of chairs upholstered in horsehairs and an iron bedstead; with a white counterpane; above it was a bowl for holy water, and a sprig of boxwood.
It was a small room decorated with floral wallpaper; the furniture included a wardrobe with a mirror, a couple of chairs covered in horsehair, and an iron bed frame with a white bedspread; above it was a bowl for holy water and a sprig of boxwood.
She gave him a long kiss on the mouth.
She kissed him passionately.
"I do love you, do you know!"
"I really love you, did you know that?"
"Quite sure?"
"Are you sure?"
"Oh yes! And you?"
"Oh, definitely! How about you?"
"I too, I love you. I wouldn't have believed that I could love you so!"
"I love you too. I never would have thought I could love you this much!"
"Then it came afterwards."
"Then it came later."
"It always comes afterwards."
"It always comes later."
"That's true, what you've just said, Robert. Before—one doesn't know."
"That's true, what you just said, Robert. Before—it's hard to know."
She shook her head.
She shook her head.
"I was very ill yesterday."
"I was really sick yesterday."
"Have you seen Trublet? What did he say?"
"Have you seen Trublet? What did he say?"
"He told me that I needed rest, and quiet. My darling, we must be sensible for another fortnight. Do you mind?"
"He told me that I needed some rest and peace. My dear, we have to be sensible for another two weeks. Are you okay with that?"
"I do."
"I do."
"So do I. But what would you have?"
"So do I. But what do you want?"
He strolled round the room two or three times, looking into every corner. She watched him with some little uneasiness, dreading lest he should ask her questions about her poor jewels and her cheap trinkets, which were modest enough as presents, but she could not in every case explain how she came to receive them. One may say anything one pleases, of course, but one may contradict oneself, and get into trouble, and that assuredly is not worth while. She diverted his attention.
He walked around the room a couple of times, checking every corner. She observed him with some nervousness, worried that he might ask her about her inexpensive jewelry and cheap trinkets, which were modest gifts. However, she couldn't always explain how she got them. You can say whatever you want, of course, but you might end up contradicting yourself and facing trouble, and that's definitely not worth it. She shifted his focus.
"Robert, open my glove-box."
"Robert, open my glove compartment."
"What have you got in your glove-box?"
"What's in your glove box?"
"The violets you gave me the first time. Darling, don't leave me! Don't go away. When I think that from one day to the next you may go to some foreign country, to London, to Constantinople, I feel crazy."
"The violets you gave me the first time. Babe, don’t leave me! Don’t walk away. When I think that from one day to the next you could go to some foreign country, to London, to Constantinople, it drives me insane."
He comforted her, telling her that there had been some thought of sending him to The Hague. But he was determined not to go; he would get himself attached to the Minister's staff.
He comforted her, saying that there had been some consideration of sending him to The Hague. But he was set on not going; he intended to join the Minister's staff.
"You promise?"
"Do you promise?"
He gave the promise in all sincerity. And she became quite cheerful.
He made the promise sincerely. And she became pretty happy.
Pointing to the little wardrobe with its looking-glass, she said:
Pointing to the small wardrobe with its mirror, she said:
"Look, darling, it's there that I study my part. When you came, I was working over my scene in [Pg 191] the fourth. I take advantage of being alone to try for the exact tone. I seek a broad, mellow effect. If I were to listen to Romilly I should mince my words, and the result would be wretched. I have to say. 'I do not fear you.' It's the great moment of the part. Do you know how Romilly would have me say: 'I do not fear you'? I'll show you, I am to raise my hand to my nose, open my fingers and speak one word to each finger separately, in a particular tone, with a special expression 'I, do, not, fear, you,' as if I were exhibiting marionettes! It's a wonder he does not ask me to put a little paper hat on every finger. Subtle, intellectual, isn't it?"
"Look, sweetheart, this is where I practice my lines. When you arrived, I was working on my scene in [Pg 191] the fourth act. I take advantage of having some time alone to find just the right tone. I'm going for a deep, rich effect. If I listened to Romilly, I'd end up overdoing it, and it would turn out terrible. I need to say, 'I do not fear you.' It's the pivotal moment of the role. Do you know how Romilly wants me to say: 'I do not fear you'? Let me show you—I'm supposed to raise my hand to my nose, spread my fingers, and say one word for each finger, in a specific tone, with a certain expression: 'I, do, not, fear, you,' as if I’m playing with puppets! It's a miracle he doesn't ask me to put a little paper hat on each finger. So subtle and intellectual, right?"
Then, lifting her hair and uncovering her animated features, she said:
Then, lifting her hair and revealing her lively features, she said:
"I'll show you how I do it."
"I'll show you how I get it done."
Suddenly transfigured, seeming of greater stature, she spoke the words with an air of ingenuous dignity and serene innocence:
Suddenly transformed, appearing taller, she said the words with a genuine sense of dignity and calm innocence:
"No, sir, I do not fear you. Why should I fear you? You thought to ensnare me, and you have placed yourself at my mercy. You are a man of honour. Now that I am under the shelter of your roof, you shall tell me what you told Chevalier d'Amberre, your enemy, when he entered that gate. You shall tell me: 'You are in your own house; I am yours to command.'"
"No, sir, I don’t fear you. Why should I? You tried to trap me, and now you’ve put yourself in my hands. You’re a man of honor. Now that I’m under your roof, you’re going to tell me what you told Chevalier d'Amberre, your enemy, when he walked through that gate. You’ll tell me: 'You’re in your own house; I’m here to serve you.'"
She had the mysterious gift of changing her [Pg 192] soul and her very face. Ligny was under the spell of this beautiful illusion.
She had the mysterious ability to change her [Pg 192] soul and her entire appearance. Ligny was captivated by this stunning illusion.
"You are marvellous!"
"You are amazing!"
"Listen, pussy-cat. I shall wear a big lawn bonnet with lappets, one above the other, on either side of my face. You see, in the play I am a young girl of the Revolution. And it is imperative that I should make people feel it. I must have the Revolution in me, do you understand?"
"Hey, kitty. I'm going to wear a big lawn bonnet with flaps, one on each side of my face. You see, in the play, I'm a young girl from the Revolution. It's crucial that I make people feel that. I have to embody the Revolution, do you get it?"
"Are you well up in the Revolution?"
"Are you up to date with the Revolution?"
"Of course I am! I don't know the dates, to be sure. But I have the feeling of the period. For me, the Revolution means a bosom swelling with pride under a crossed neckerchief, knees enjoying full freedom in a striped petticoat, and a tiny blaze of colour on the cheek-bones. There you have it!"
"Of course I am! I don't know the exact dates, but I feel the vibe of the era. For me, the Revolution is about a chest swelling with pride under a crossed neck scarf, knees feeling completely free in a striped skirt, and a little splash of color on the cheeks. That’s what it is!"
He asked her questions about the play, and he realized that she knew nothing about it. She, did not need to know anything about it. She divined, she found by instinct all that she needed from it.
He asked her questions about the play, and he realized that she didn’t know anything about it. She didn’t need to know anything about it. She figured it out; she sensed everything she needed from it.
"At rehearsals, I never give them a hint as to any of my effects, I keep them all for the public. It will make Romilly tear his hair. How stupid they'll all look! Fagette, my dear, will make herself ill over it."
"During rehearsals, I never give them any hints about my tricks; I save everything for the audience. It will drive Romilly crazy. They’ll all look so foolish! Fagette, my dear, is going to stress herself out over it."
She sat down on a little rickety chair. Her forehead, but a moment before as white as marble, [Pg 193] was rosy; she had once more assumed her cheeky flapper's expression.
She sat down on a small shaky chair. Her forehead, just a moment ago as white as marble, [Pg 193] was now flushed; she had once again taken on her playful flapper's look.
He drew near to her, gazed into the fascinating grey of her eyes, and, as on the evening before, when he sat in front of his coke-fire, he reflected that she was untruthful and cowardly, and ill-natured toward her friends; but now the thought was tempered with indulgence. He reflected that she had love-affairs with actors of the lowest type, or that she at least made shift with them; but the thought was tempered with a gentle pity. He recalled all the evil that he knew of her, but without bitterness. He felt that he loved her, less because she was pretty than because she was pretty in her own fashion; in a word, that he loved her because she was a gem endowed with life, and an incomparable thing of art and voluptuousness. He looked into the fascinating grey of her eyes, into their pupils, where tiny astrological symbols seemed to float in a luminous tide. He gazed at her with a gaze so searching that she felt it pierce right through her. And, assured that he had seen right into her, she said to him, with her eyes on his, clasping his head between her two hands:
He moved closer to her, looked into the captivating gray of her eyes, and, like the night before when he sat in front of his coal fire, he considered that she was dishonest and cowardly, and unpleasant to her friends; but now the thought was softened with understanding. He thought about her relationships with the lowest kind of actors, or at least how she managed to get by with them; but this thought came with a gentle pity. He remembered all the bad things he knew about her, but without any bitterness. He realized he loved her, not just because she was beautiful, but because she had her own unique beauty; in short, he loved her because she was a living gem, an incomparable piece of art and sensuality. He stared into the captivating gray of her eyes, into their pupils, where tiny astrological symbols seemed to float in a glowing tide. His gaze was so intense that she felt it penetrate right through her. And, convinced he had truly seen her, she said to him, locking her eyes with his, cradling his face between her hands:
"Oh yes! I'm a rotten little actress; but I love you, and I don't care a rap for money. And there aren't many as good as me. And you know it well enough."
"Oh yes! I'm a terrible little actress; but I love you, and I don't care at all about money. And there aren’t many as good as me. And you know it really well."
CHAPTER XV
hey met daily at the theatre, and they went for walks together.
They got together every day at the theater and went for walks together.
Nanteuil was playing almost every night, and was eagerly working at her part of Cécile. She was gradually recovering her peace of mind; her nights were less disturbed; she no longer made her mother hold her hand while she fell asleep and no longer found herself suffocating in nightmares. A fortnight went by in this fashion. Then, one morning, while sitting at her dressing-table, combing her hairs she bent her head toward the glass, as the weather was overcast, and she saw in it, not her own face, but the face of the dead man. A thread of blood was trickling from one corner of his mouth; he was smiling and gazing at her.
Nanteuil was performing almost every night and was eagerly preparing for her role as Cécile. She was slowly finding her peace of mind again; her nights were becoming less troubled; she no longer needed her mother to hold her hand while she fell asleep and no longer felt suffocated by nightmares. Two weeks passed like this. Then, one morning, as she sat at her dressing table brushing her hair, she leaned toward the mirror because the weather was cloudy, and instead of seeing her own reflection, she saw the face of the dead man. A trickle of blood was running from one corner of his mouth; he was smiling at her and looking directly into her eyes.
Thereupon she decided to do what she thought would be the proper and efficacious thing. She took a cab and drove off to see him. Going down the Boulevard Saint-Michel she bought a bunch of roses at her florist's. She took them to him. She went down on her knees before the tiny [Pg 195] black cross which marked the spot where they had laid him. She spoke to him, she begged him to be reasonable, to leave her in peace. She asked his forgiveness for having treated him formerly with harshness. People did not always understand one another in life. But now he ought to understand and forgive her. What good did it do to him to torment her? She asked no better than to retain a kindly memory of him. She would come and see him from time to time. But he must cease to persecute and frighten her.
Thereupon she decided to do what she believed would be the right and effective thing. She took a cab and drove off to see him. As she went down the Boulevard Saint-Michel, she bought a bunch of roses from her florist. She took them to him. She knelt before the small black cross that marked the spot where they had laid him. She spoke to him, pleading for him to be reasonable and to leave her in peace. She asked for his forgiveness for how she had treated him harshly before. People didn't always understand each other in life. But now he should understand and forgive her. What good did it do him to torment her? She wanted nothing more than to keep a kind memory of him. She would come to see him from time to time. But he had to stop the harassment and fear he caused her.
She sought to flatter and soothe him with gentle phrases.
She tried to flatter and comfort him with kind words.
"I can understand that you wanted to revenge yourself. It was natural. But you are not wicked at heart. Don't be angry any more. Don't frighten me any more. Don't come to see me any more. I'll come to you; I'll come often. I'll bring you flowers."
"I get that you wanted to get back at them. That’s totally understandable. But you’re not a bad person. Please don’t be angry anymore. Don’t scare me again. Just don’t come to see me anymore. I’ll come to you; I’ll come often. I’ll bring you flowers."
She longed to deceive him, to soothe him with lying promises, to say to him "Stay where you are; do not be restless any longer; stay where you are, and I swear to you that I will never again do anything to offend you; I promise to submit to your will." But she dared not lie over a grave, and she was sure that it would be useless, that the dead know everything.
She wanted to trick him, to comfort him with false promises, to tell him, “Stay where you are; don’t be anxious anymore; stay where you are, and I promise I won’t do anything to upset you again; I promise to go along with whatever you want.” But she couldn’t bring herself to lie over a grave, and she knew it would be pointless; the dead know everything.
A little wearied, she continued awhile, more [Pg 196] indolently, her prayers and supplications, and she realized that she no longer felt the horror with which the tombs had formerly inspired her; that she had no fear of the dead man. She sought the reason for this, and discovered that he did not frighten her because he was not there.
A bit tired, she continued for a while, more [Pg 196] casually, her prayers and requests, and she realized that she no longer felt the fear that the graves used to give her; that she was no longer afraid of the dead man. She looked for the reason behind this and found that he didn’t scare her because he wasn’t there.
And she mused:
And she reflected:
"He is not there; he is never there; he is everywhere except where they laid him. He is in the streets, in the houses, in the rooms."
"He isn't there; he's never there; he's everywhere except where they put him. He's in the streets, in the houses, in the rooms."
And she rose to her feet in despair, feeling sure that henceforth she would meet him everywhere except in the cemetery.
And she stood up in despair, convinced that from now on she would run into him everywhere except in the cemetery.
CHAPTER XVI
fter a fortnight's patience Ligny urged her to resume their former
intercourse. The period which she herself had fixed had elapsed. He
would not wait any longer. She suffered as much as he did in refusing
herself to him. But she dreaded to see the dead man return. She found
lame excuses for postponing appointments; at last she confessed that she
was afraid. He despised her for displaying so little common sense and
courage. He no longer felt that she loved him, and he spoke harshly to
her, but he pursued her incessantly with his desire.
After two weeks of waiting, Ligny urged her to go back to their previous relationship. The time she had set for herself was up. He wouldn't wait any longer. She felt just as much pain as he did by denying herself to him. But she was scared to see the dead man come back. She came up with weak excuses to delay their meetings; finally, she admitted that she was afraid. He looked down on her for having so little common sense and courage. He no longer believed that she loved him, and he spoke to her harshly, but he relentlessly pursued her with his desire.
Bitter days and barren hours followed. As she no longer dared to seek the shelter of a roof in his company, they used to take a cab, and after driving for hours about the outskirts of the city they would alight in some gloomy avenue, wandering far down it under the bitter east wind, walking swiftly, as though chastised by the breath of an unseen wrath.
Bitter days and empty hours passed. Since she no longer felt safe seeking refuge in a home with him, they would take a cab and drive for hours around the edges of the city. Eventually, they would get out on some dreary street, wandering far along it under the harsh east wind, moving quickly, as if punished by the breath of an invisible anger.
Once, however, the weather was so mild that it filled them with its soft languor. Side by side they [Pg 198] trod the deserted paths of the Bois de Boulogne. The buds, which were beginning to swell on the tips of the slender black branches, dyed the tree-tops violet under the rosy sky. To their left stretched the fields, dotted with clumps of leafless trees, and the houses of Auteuil were visible. Slowly driven coupés, with their elderly passengers, crawled along the road, and the wet-nurses pushed their perambulators. A motor-car broke the silence of the Bois with its humming.
Once, the weather was so mild that it made them feel relaxed and drowsy. Side by side, they [Pg 198] walked along the empty paths of the Bois de Boulogne. The buds were starting to swell on the tips of the slender black branches, turning the tree-tops violet under the pink sky. To their left were fields dotted with clusters of bare trees, and they could see the houses of Auteuil. Slowly moving carriages, with their older passengers, inched along the road, while the nannies pushed their strollers. A car interrupted the quiet of the Bois with its humming noise.
"Do you like those machines?" asked Félicie.
"Do you like those machines?" Félicie asked.
"I find them convenient, that's all."
"I just find them convenient, that's it."
It was true that he was no chauffeur. He had no taste for any kind of sport; he concerned himself only with women.
It was true that he was no chauffeur. He had no interest in any kind of sport; he focused only on women.
Pointing to a cab which had just passed them, she exclaimed:
Pointing to a cab that had just passed by, she exclaimed:
"Robert, did you see?"
"Hey Robert, did you see?"
"No."
"No."
"Jeanne Perrin was in it with a woman."
"Jeanne Perrin was involved with a woman."
And, as he displayed a calm indifference, she added in a reproachful tone:
And, as he showed a cool indifference, she added in a disapproving tone:
"You are like Dr. Socrates. Do you think that sort of thing natural?"
"You’re like Dr. Socrates. Do you think that kind of thing is natural?"
The lake slept, bright and serene, within its sombre walls of pines. They took the path to their right, which skirted the bank where the white geese and swans were preening their feathers. At their [Pg 199] approach a flotilla of ducks, like living hulls, their necks curving like prows, set sail toward them.
The lake lay peaceful and calm, surrounded by its dark walls of pine trees. They followed the path to their right, which ran along the shore where the white geese and swans were grooming their feathers. As they got closer, a group of ducks, resembling small boats with their necks curved like bows, paddled toward them. [Pg 199]
Félicie told them, in a regretful tone, that she had nothing to give them.
Félicie told them, sounding regretful, that she had nothing to give them.
"When I was little," she went on to say, "Papa used to take me out on Sundays to feed the animals. It was my reward for having learned my lessons well all the week. Papa used to delight in the country. He was fond of dog, horses, all animals in fact. He was very gentle and very clever. He used to work very hard. But life is difficult for an officer who has no money of his own. It grieved him sorely not to be able to do as the wealthy officers did, and then he didn't hit it off with Mamma. Papa's life was not a happy one. He was often wretched. He didn't talk much; but we two understood one another without speaking. He was very fond of me. Robert, dearest, later on, in the distant future, the very distant future, I shall have a tiny house in the country. And when you come there, my beloved, you will find me in a short skirt, throwing corn to my fowls."
"When I was little," she continued, "Papa used to take me out on Sundays to feed the animals. It was my reward for doing well in my lessons all week. Papa loved the countryside. He was fond of dogs, horses, and all animals, really. He was very gentle and really smart. He worked really hard. But it’s tough for an officer who doesn’t have money of his own. It upset him a lot that he couldn’t do the things wealthy officers did, and he didn’t get along with Mamma. Papa’s life wasn’t happy. He was often miserable. He didn't say much, but we understood each other without words. He cared for me a lot. Robert, my dear, someday, in the far future, I’ll have a tiny house in the country. And when you come to visit, my love, you’ll find me in a short skirt, throwing corn to my chickens."
He asked her what gave her the idea of going on the stage.
He asked her what made her want to go on stage.
"I knew very well that I'd never find a husband, since I had no dowry. And from what I saw of my older girl friends, working at dress-making or in a telegraph office, I was not encouraged to follow in [Pg 200] their steps. When I was quite a little girl I thought it would be nice to be an actress. I had once acted, at my boarding-school, in a little play, on St. Nicholas' Day. I thought it no end of a lark. The schoolmistress said I didn't act well, but that was because Mamma owed her for a whole term. From the time I was fifteen I began to think seriously about going on the stage. I entered the Conservatoire, I worked, I worked very hard. It's a back-breaking trade. But success brings rest."
"I knew I’d never find a husband since I had no dowry. And from what I saw of my older friends working in dress-making or at a telegraph office, I wasn’t inspired to follow their path. When I was a little girl, I thought it would be great to be an actress. I once acted in a small play at my boarding school on St. Nicholas' Day. I thought it was a lot of fun. The schoolmistress said I didn’t act well, but that was because my mom owed her for an entire term. By the time I was fifteen, I started to seriously consider a career on the stage. I enrolled in the Conservatoire and worked really hard. It’s a tough profession, but success brings relief."
Opposite the chalet on the island they found the ferry-boat moored to the landing. Ligny jumped into it, pulling Félicie after him.
Opposite the cabin on the island, they saw the ferry boat docked at the landing. Ligny jumped into it, pulling Félicie with him.
"Those tall trees are lovely, even without leaves," she said. "But I thought the chalet was closed at this time of the year."
"Those tall trees are beautiful, even without leaves," she said. "But I thought the chalet was closed at this time of year."
The ferryman told them that, on fine winter days, people out for a walk liked to visit the island, because they could enjoy quiet there, and that he had only just ferried a couple of ladies across.
The ferryman told them that on nice winter days, people out for a walk liked to visit the island because they could enjoy the peace there, and that he had just ferried a few ladies across.
A waiter, who was living amid the solitude of the island, brought them tea, in a rustic sitting-room, furnished with a couple of chairs, a table, a piano, and a sofa. The panelling was mildewed, the planks of the flooring had started. Félicie looked out of the window at the lawn and the tall trees.
A waiter, who was living alone on the island, brought them tea in a simple sitting room that had a couple of chairs, a table, a piano, and a sofa. The paneling was moldy, and the floorboards were coming apart. Félicie looked out the window at the lawn and the tall trees.
"What is that," she asked, "that big dark ball on the poplar?"
"What is that," she asked, "that big dark ball on the poplar?"
"That's mistletoe, my pet."
"That's mistletoe, babe."
"One would think it was an animal rolled round the branch, gnawing at it. It isn't nice to look at."
"One would think it was an animal wrapped around the branch, biting at it. It doesn't look good."
She rested her head on her lover's shoulder, saying in a languid tone:
She rested her head on her partner's shoulder, speaking in a relaxed tone:
"I love you."
"I love you."
He drew her down upon the sofa. She felt him, kneeling at her feet, his hands, clumsy with impatience, gliding over her, and she suffered his attempts, inert, discouraged, foreseeing that it was useless. Her ears were ringing like a little bell. The ringing ceased, and she heard; on her right, a strange, clear, glacial voice say. "I forbid you to belong to one another." It seemed to her that the voice spoke from above, in the glow of light, but she did not dare to turn her head. It was an unfamiliar voice. Involuntarily and despite herself she tried to remember his voice, and she realized that she had forgotten its sound, and that she could never again remember it. The thought came to her "Perhaps this is the voice he has now." Terrified, she swiftly pushed her skirt over her knees. But she refrained from crying out, and she did not speak of what she had just heard, lest she should be taken for a madwoman, and because she realized somehow that it was not real.
He pulled her down onto the sofa. She felt him kneeling at her feet, his hands, awkward with impatience, moving over her, and she endured his attempts, feeling lifeless and defeated, knowing it was pointless. Her ears were ringing like a little bell. When the ringing stopped, she heard a strange, clear, icy voice say, "I forbid you to belong to one another." It seemed like the voice came from above, in the light, but she didn’t dare turn her head. It was an unfamiliar voice. Without meaning to and despite herself, she tried to remember his voice, realizing she had forgotten how it sounded and that she would never recall it again. The thought crossed her mind, "Maybe this is the voice he has now." Alarmed, she quickly adjusted her skirt over her knees. But she held back from crying out, and she didn’t mention what she had just heard, fearing she would be thought of as crazy, and because she somehow understood that it wasn’t real.
Ligny drew away from her.
Ligny pulled away from her.
"If you don't want anything more to do with me, say so honestly. I am not going to take you by force."
"If you don't want anything more to do with me, just say it honestly. I’m not going to force you."
Sitting upright, with her knees pressed together, she told him:
Sitting up straight, with her knees together, she said to him:
"Whenever we are in a crowd, as long as there are people about us, I want you, I long for you, but as soon as we are by ourselves I am afraid."
"Whenever we’re in a crowd, as long as there are people around us, I want you, I crave you, but as soon as we’re alone, I feel scared."
He replied by a cheap, spiteful sneer:
He responded with a cheap, spiteful sneer:
"Ah, if you must have a public to stimulate you!"
"Ah, if you really need an audience to inspire you!"
She rose, and returned to the window. A tear was running down her cheek. She wept for some time in silence. Suddenly she called to him:
She got up and went back to the window. A tear was flowing down her face. She cried silently for a while. Then she suddenly called out to him:
"Look there!"
"Check that out!"
She pointed to Jeanne Perrin, who was strolling on the lawn with a young woman. Each had an arm about the other's waist; they were giving one another violets to smell, and were smiling.
She pointed to Jeanne Perrin, who was walking on the lawn with a young woman. Each had an arm around the other's waist; they were taking turns smelling violets and smiling at each other.
"See! That woman is happy; her mind at peace."
"Look! That woman is happy; her mind is at peace."
And Jeanne Perrin, tasting the peace of long-established habits, strolled along satisfied and serene, without even betraying any pride in her strange preference.
And Jeanne Perrin, enjoying the comfort of her settled routines, walked along content and calm, without showing any pride in her unusual choice.
Félicie watched her with, an interest which she did not confess to herself, and envied her her serenity.
Félicie watched her with a curiosity she didn't admit to herself and envied her calmness.
"She's not afraid, that woman."
"That woman isn't afraid."
"Let her be! What harm is she doing us?"
"Just let her be! What harm is she causing us?"
And he caught her violently by the waist. She freed herself with a shudder. In the end, disappointed, frustrated, humiliated, he lost his temper, called her a silly fool, and swore that he would not stand her ridiculous way of treating him any longer.
And he grabbed her roughly by the waist. She pulled away, shuddering. In the end, feeling let down, frustrated, and humiliated, he lost his cool, called her a silly fool, and vowed that he wouldn’t put up with her ridiculous treatment of him any longer.
She made no reply, and once more she began to weep.
She didn't respond and started to cry again.
Angered by her tears, he told her harshly:
Angry at her tears, he said to her in a harsh tone:
"Since you can no longer give me what I ask you, it is useless for us to meet any more. There is nothing more to be said between us. Besides, I see that you have ceased to love me. And you would admit, if for once you could speak the truth, that you have never loved anyone except that wretched second-rate actor."
"Since you can no longer give me what I ask for, it's pointless for us to meet again. There’s nothing left to discuss between us. Besides, I can see that you no longer love me. And you would admit, if you could just be honest for once, that you’ve only ever loved that pathetic second-rate actor."
Then her anger exploded, and she moaned in despair:
Then her anger erupted, and she groaned in despair:
"Liar! Liar! That's an abominable thing to say. You see I'm crying, and you want to make me suffer more. You take advantage of the fact that I love you to make me miserable. It's cowardly. Well, no then, I don't love you any longer. Go away! I don't want to see you again. Go! But it's true—what are we doing like this? Are we going to spend our lives staring at each other [Pg 204] like this, wild with each other, full of despair and rage? It is not my fault—I can't, I can't. Forgive me, darling, I love you, I worship you, I want you. Only drive him away. You are a man, you know what there is to do. Drive him away. You killed him, not I. It was you. Kill him altogether then—Oh God, I am going mad. I am going mad!"
"Liar! Liar! That's a terrible thing to say. You see I'm crying, and you want to hurt me more. You take advantage of my love for you to make me miserable. It’s cowardly. Well, no, I don’t love you anymore. Go away! I don’t want to see you again. Go! But it’s true—what are we doing like this? Are we going to spend our lives just staring at each other [Pg 204] like this, consumed with despair and rage? It’s not my fault—I can’t, I can’t. Forgive me, darling, I love you, I worship you, I want you. Just get rid of him. You’re a man, you know what to do. Get rid of him. You killed him, not me. It was you. Just kill him then—Oh God, I'm going crazy. I'm going crazy!"
On the following day, Ligny applied to be sent as Third Secretary to The Hague. He was appointed a week later, and left at once, without having seen Félicie again.
On the next day, Ligny requested to be assigned as Third Secretary to The Hague. He was appointed a week later and left immediately, not having seen Félicie again.
CHAPTER XVII
adam Nanteuil thought of nothing but her daughter's welfare. Her
liaison with Tony Meyers the picture-dealer in the Rue de Clichy, left
her with plenty of leisure and an unoccupied heart. She met at the
theatre a Monsieur Bondois, a manufacturer of electrical apparatus; he
was still young, superior to his trade, and extremely well-mannered. He
was blessed with an amorous temperament and a bashful nature, and, as
young and beautiful women frightened him, he had accustomed himself to
desiring only women who were not young and beautiful. Madame Nanteuil
was still a very pleasing woman. But one night when she was badly
dressed, and did not look her best; he made her the offer of his
affections. She accepted him as something of a help toward housekeeping,
and so that her daughter should want for nothing. Her devotion brought
her happiness. Monsieur Bondois loved her, and courted her most
ardently. At the outset this surprised her; then it brought her
happiness and peace of mind; it
[Pg 206]
seemed to her natural and good to be
loved, and she could not believe that her time for love was past when
she was in receipt of proof to the contrary.
Madam Nanteuil cared only about her daughter's well-being. Her relationship with Tony Meyers, the art dealer on Rue de Clichy, allowed her plenty of free time and left her heart open. At the theater, she met Monsieur Bondois, a manufacturer of electrical equipment; he was still young, more than capable in his profession, and very well-mannered. He had a romantic disposition but was shy, and because attractive young women intimidated him, he had conditioned himself to be attracted only to those who were neither young nor beautiful. Madame Nanteuil was still quite an attractive woman. However, one evening when she was dressed poorly and didn’t look her best, he offered her his affections. She accepted, partly as a way to help with household expenses and so her daughter wouldn’t lack for anything. Her commitment brought her happiness. Monsieur Bondois loved her and pursued her passionately. At first, this surprised her; then it brought her joy and peace; it felt natural and wonderful to be loved, and she could hardly believe that her time for love was over when she had proof to the contrary.
[Pg 206]
She had always displayed a kindly disposition, an easy-going character, and an even temper. But never yet had she revealed in her home so happy a spirit and such gracious thoughtfulness. Kind to others, and to herself, always preserving, in the lapse of changeful hours, the smile that disclosed her beautiful teeth and brought the dimples into her plump cheeks, grateful to life for what it was giving her, blooming, expanding, overflowing, she was the joy and the youth of the house.
She had always shown a friendly nature, a laid-back personality, and a calm demeanor. But she had never expressed such a joyful spirit and thoughtful kindness at home. Considerate to others and herself, she always maintained a smile that revealed her beautiful teeth and brought out the dimples in her full cheeks. Grateful to life for what it gave her, she was vibrant, blossoming, and overflowing with joy—truly the light and youth of the home.
While Madame Nanteuil conceived and gave expression to bright and cheerful ideas, Félicie was fast becoming gloomy, fretful, and sullen. Lines began to show in her pretty face; her voice assumed a grating quality. She had at once realized the position which Monsieur Bondois occupied in the household, and, whether she would have preferred her mother to live and breathe for her alone, whether her filial piety suffered because she was forced to respect her less, whether she envied her happiness, or whether she merely felt the distress which love affairs cause us when we are brought into too close contact with them, Félicie, more especially at meal-times, and every day, bitterly [Pg 207] reproached Madame Nanteuil, in very pointed allusions, and in terms which were not precisely veiled, in respect of this new "friend of the family"; and for Monsieur Bondois himself, whenever she met him, she exhibited an expressive disgust and an unconcealed aversion. Madame Nanteuil was only moderately distressed by this, and she excused her daughter by reflecting that the young girl had as yet no experience of life. And Monsieur Bondois, whom Félicie inspired with a superhuman terror, strove to placate her by signs of respect and inconsiderable presents.
While Madame Nanteuil came up with and shared bright and cheerful ideas, Félicie was quickly becoming gloomy, anxious, and sulky. Lines started to appear on her pretty face, and her voice took on a harsh tone. She had immediately realized the role that Monsieur Bondois played in the household, and whether she wished her mother to live and care only for her, whether her sense of duty suffered because she had to see her mother in a lesser light, whether she envied her happiness, or whether she simply felt the pain that love affairs bring when we're too close to them, Félicie, especially at mealtimes and every day, bitterly [Pg 207] reproached Madame Nanteuil with pointed hints and comments that were not exactly subtle about this new "family friend"; and whenever she encountered Monsieur Bondois, she showed clear disgust and open aversion. Madame Nanteuil was only moderately upset by this, and she justified her daughter's feelings by reminding herself that the young girl had no real experience of life yet. As for Monsieur Bondois, who was terrified by Félicie, he tried to win her over with gestures of respect and small gifts.
She was violent because she was suffering. The letters which she received from The Hague inflamed her love, so that it was a pain to her. A prey to consuming visions, she was pining away. When she saw her absent friend too clearly her temples throbbed, her heart beat violently, and a dense increasing shadow would darken her mind. All the sensibility of her nerves, all the warmth of her blood, all the forces of her being flowed through her, sinking downwards, merging themselves in desire in the very depths of her flesh. At such times she had no other thought than to recover Ligny. It was Ligny that she wanted, only Ligny, and she herself was surprised at the disgust which she felt for all other men. For her instincts had not always been so exclusive. She told herself that [Pg 208] she would go at once to Bondois, ask him for money, and take the train for The Hague. And she did not do it. What deterred her was not so much the idea of displeasing her lover, who would have looked upon such a journey as bad form, as the vague fear of awakening the slumbering shadow.
She was acting out because she was in pain. The letters she got from The Hague intensified her love, making it hurt. Tormented by overwhelming thoughts, she was wasting away. Whenever she pictured her absent friend too vividly, her temples pounded, her heart raced, and a heavy darkness would cloud her mind. All the sensitivity of her nerves, all the warmth of her blood, all her energy surged through her, sinking down, merging into desire deep within her. In those moments, her only thought was to be with Ligny. It was Ligny that she wanted, just Ligny, and she was surprised by the disgust she felt for all other men. Her instincts hadn’t always been so narrow. She told herself that [Pg 208] she would immediately go to Bondois, ask him for money, and catch the train to The Hague. But she didn’t do it. What held her back was not so much the thought of upsetting her lover, who would have seen that trip as inappropriate, but rather a vague fear of stirring up the hidden darkness.
That she had not seen since Ligny's departure. But perturbing things were happening, within her and around her. In the street she was followed by a water-spaniel, which appealed and vanished suddenly. One morning when she was in bed her mother told her "I am going to the dressmaker's," and went out. Two or three minutes later Félicie saw her come back into the room as if she had forgotten something. But the apparition advanced without a look at her, without a word, without a sounds and disappeared as it touched the bed.
That she hadn't seen since Ligny's departure. But strange things were happening, both inside her and around her. In the street, she was followed by a water-spaniel, which appeared and then vanished suddenly. One morning while she was in bed, her mother told her, "I'm going to the dressmaker's," and left. Two or three minutes later, Félicie saw her come back into the room as if she'd forgotten something. But the figure moved forward without looking at her, without saying a word, and disappeared as it touched the bed.
She had even more disturbing illusions. One Sunday, she was acting, in a matinée of Athalie, the part of young Zacharias. As she had very pretty legs she found the disguise not displeasing; she was glad also to show that she knew how verse should be spoken. But she noticed that in the orchestra stalls there was a priest wearing his cassock. It was not the first time that an ecclesiastic had been present at an afternoon performance [Pg 209] of this tragedy drawn from the Scriptures. Nevertheless, it impressed her disagreeably. When she went on the stage she distinctly saw Louise Dalle, wearing the turban of Jehoshabeath; loading a revolver in front of the prompter's box. She had enough common sense and presence of mind to reject this absurd vision, which disappeared. But she spoke her first lines in an inaudible voice.
She had even more unsettling thoughts. One Sunday, she was performing in a matinée of Athalie, playing the role of young Zacharias. Since she had very nice legs, she found the costume quite flattering; she was also pleased to show off her understanding of how to deliver lines. However, she noticed a priest in the audience’s orchestra section, wearing his cassock. It wasn’t the first time an ecclesiastic had attended an afternoon show of this Scripture-based tragedy, but it still made her uncomfortable. When she stepped onto the stage, she clearly saw Louise Dalle, dressed as Jehoshabeath, loading a revolver in front of the prompter's box. She had enough sense and composure to dismiss this ridiculous vision, which faded away. Still, she delivered her first lines in a voice that was barely audible. [Pg 209]
She had burning pains in the stomach. She suffered from fits of suffocation, sometimes, without apparent cause, an unspeakable agony gripped her bowels, her heart beat madly and she feared that she must be dying.
She felt intense pain in her stomach. Occasionally, without any clear reason, she experienced bouts of suffocation, an unimaginable agony seized her insides, her heart raced uncontrollably and she was terrified that she might be dying.
Dr Trublet attended her with watchful prudence. She often saw him at the theatre, and occasionally went to consult him at his old house in the Rue de Seine. She did not go through the waiting-room; the servant would show her at once into the little dining-room, where Arab potteries glinted in the shadows, and she was always the first to be shown in. One day Socrates succeeded in making her understand the manner in which images are formed in the brain, and how these images do not always correspond with external objects, or, at my rate, do not always correspond exactly.
Dr. Trublet attended to her with careful consideration. She often saw him at the theater and sometimes went to consult him at his old place on Rue de Seine. She didn't go through the waiting room; the servant would immediately escort her into the small dining room, where Arab pottery glimmered in the shadows, and she was always the first one to be shown in. One day, Socrates managed to help her grasp how images are formed in the brain, and how these images don’t always match up with what’s actually out there, or at least, don’t always match exactly.
"Hallucinations," he added, "are more often than not merely false perceptions. One sees a thing, but one sees it badly, so that a feather-broom [Pg 210] becomes a head of bristling locks, a red carnation is a beast's open mouth, and a chemise is a ghost in its winding-sheet. Insignificant errors."
"Hallucinations," he added, "are usually just false perceptions. You might see something, but you see it wrong, so that a feather duster [Pg 210] looks like a head full of hair, a red carnation looks like a beast's open mouth, and a chemise looks like a ghost in its shroud. Minor mistakes."
From these arguments she derived sufficient strength to despise and dispel her visions of cats and dogs, or of persons who were living, and well known to her. Yet she dreaded seeing the dead man again; and the mystic terrors nestling in the obscure crannies of her brain were more powerful than the demonstrations of science. It was useless to tell her that the dead never returned; she knew very well that they did.
From these arguments, she found enough strength to dismiss her visions of cats and dogs, or of people who were alive and familiar to her. Still, she feared seeing the dead man again; the mysterious fears lurking in the hidden corners of her mind were stronger than the evidence of science. It was pointless to tell her that the dead never come back; she knew very well that they did.
On this occasion Socrates once more advised her to find some distraction, to visit her friends, and by preference the more pleasant of her friends, and to avoid darkness and solitude, as her two most treacherous enemies.
On this occasion, Socrates once again advised her to find some distraction, to visit her friends—preferably the ones who are more enjoyable—and to steer clear of darkness and solitude, which are her two most deceptive enemies.
And he added this prescription:
And he added this RX:
"Especially must you avoid persons and things which may be connected with the object of your visions."
"Especially avoid people and things that might be linked to what you envision."
He did not see that this was impossible. Nor did Nanteuil.
He didn’t realize this was impossible. Neither did Nanteuil.
"Then you will cure me, dear old Socrates," she said, turning upon him her pretty grey eyes, full of entreaty.
"Then you'll heal me, dear old Socrates," she said, turning to him with her lovely grey eyes, full of pleading.
"You will cure yourself my child. You will cure yourself, because you are hard-working, [Pg 211] sensible, and courageous. Yes, yes, you are timid and brave at the same time. You dread danger, but you have the courage to live. You will be cured, because you are not in sympathy with evil and suffering. You will be cured because you want to be cured."
"You will heal yourself, my child. You will heal yourself because you are diligent, [Pg 211] practical, and brave. Yes, yes, you are both shy and bold at the same time. You fear danger, but you have the strength to live. You will heal because you don’t align with evil and suffering. You will heal because you truly want to."
"You think then that one can be cured if one wills it?"
"You really think that someone can be cured if they want it bad enough?"
"When one wills it in a certain profound, intimate fashion, when it is our cells that will it within us, when it is our unconscious self that wills it; when one wills it with the secret, abounding, absolute will of the sturdy tree that wills itself to grow green again in the spring."
"When one truly desires it in a deep, personal way, when it’s our cells that want it within us, when it’s our unconscious self that wants it; when one desires it with the hidden, overflowing, uncompromising will of a strong tree that wills itself to grow green again in the spring."
CHAPTER XVIII
hat same night, being unable to sleep, she turned over in her bed, and
threw back the bed-clothes. She felt that sleep was still far off, that
it would come with the first rays, full of dancing atoms of dust, with
which morning pierces the chinks between the curtains. The night-light,
with its tiny burning heart shining through its porcelain shade, gave
her a mystic and familiar companionship. Félicie opened her eyes and at
a glance drank in the white milky glimmer which brought her peace of
mind. Then, closing them once more, she relapsed into the tumultuous
weariness of insomnia. Now and again a few words of her part recurred to
her memory, words to which she attached no meaning, yet which obsessed
her: "Our days are what we make them." And her mind wearied itself by
turning over and over some four or five ideas.
That same night, unable to sleep, she rolled over in bed and threw back the covers. She sensed that sleep was still a long way off, that it would arrive with the first light, filled with dancing dust particles that morning slips through the gaps in the curtains. The night-light, with its tiny flame shining through its porcelain shade, provided her with a comforting and familiar presence. Félicie opened her eyes and took in the soft, milky glow that brought her some calm. Then, closing them again, she sank back into the restless fatigue of insomnia. Occasionally, fragments of her lines popped into her mind, words that didn’t hold any meaning for her yet continued to haunt her: "Our days are what we make them." And her mind exhausted itself by endlessly cycling through four or five thoughts.
"I must go to Madame Royaumont to-morrow, to try on my gown. Yesterday I went with Fagette to Jeanne Perrin's dressing-room; she was dressing, [Pg 213] and she showed her hairy legs, as if she was proud of them. She's not ugly, Jeanne Perrin; indeed, she has a fine head; but it is her expression that I dislike. How does Madame Colbert make out that I owe her thirty-two francs? Fourteen and three are seventeen, and nine, twenty-six. I owe her only twenty-six francs. 'Our days are what we make them.' How hot I feel!"
"I have to go to Madame Royaumont tomorrow to try on my gown. Yesterday, I went with Fagette to Jeanne Perrin's dressing room; she was getting ready, [Pg 213] and she showed off her hairy legs like she was proud of them. Jeanne Perrin isn't ugly; in fact, she has a nice face, but it's her expression that I don't like. How does Madame Colbert think I owe her thirty-two francs? Fourteen and three make seventeen, and nine makes twenty-six. I only owe her twenty-six francs. 'Our days are what we make them.' I'm feeling so hot!"
With one swift movement of her supple loins she turned over, and her bare arms opened to embrace the air as though it had been a cool, subtle body.
With one quick move of her flexible hips, she rolled over, and her bare arms spread out to welcome the air like it was a cool, gentle body.
"It seems a hundred years since Robert went away. It was cruel of him to leave me alone. I am sick with longing for him." And curled up in her bed, she recollected intently the hours when they held each other in a close embrace. She called him:
"It feels like a hundred years since Robert left. It was so selfish of him to leave me all alone. I'm sick with how much I miss him." And curled up in her bed, she vividly remembered the moments when they held each other tightly. She called out to him:
"My pussy-cat! Little wolf!"
"My kitty! Little wolf!"
And immediately the same train of thoughts began once more their fatiguing procession through her mind.
And right away, the same stream of thoughts started their exhausting journey through her mind again.
"Our days are what we make them. Our days are what we make them. Our days....' Fourteen and three, seventeen, and nine, twenty-six. I could see quite plainly that Jeanne Perrin showed her long man's legs, dark with hair, on purpose. Is it true what they say, that Jeanne Perrin gives money [Pg 214] to women? I must try my gown on at four o'clock to-morrow. There's one dreadful thing, Madame Royaumont never can put in the sleeves properly. How hot I am! Socrates is a good doctor. But he does sometimes amuse himself by making you feel a stupid fool."
"Our days are what we make of them. Our days are what we make of them. Our days.... Fourteen and three, seventeen, and nine, twenty-six. I could see clearly that Jeanne Perrin was deliberately showing off her long, hairy legs. Is it true what they say, that Jeanne Perrin gives money to women? [Pg 214] I need to try on my gown at four o'clock tomorrow. There's one terrible thing, Madame Royaumont can never get the sleeves right. I'm so hot! Socrates is a good doctor. But he sometimes enjoys making you feel like a total fool."
Suddenly she thought of Chevalier, and she seemed to feel an influence emanating from him which was gliding along the walls of her bedroom. It seemed to her that the glimmer of the night-light was dimmed by it. It was less than a shadow, and it filled her with alarm. The idea suddenly flashed through her mind that this subtle thing had its origin in the portraits of the dead man. She had not kept any of them in her bedroom. But there were still some in the flat, some that she had not torn up. She carefully reckoned them up, and discovered that there must still be three left: the first, when he was quite young, showed him against a cloudy background; another, laughing and at his ease, sitting astride of a chair; a third as Don Cæsar de Bazan. In her hurry to destroy every vestige of them she sprang out of bed, lit a candle, and in her nightgown shuffled along in her slippers into the drawing-room, until she came to the rosewood table, surmounted by a phoenix palm. She pulled up the tablecloth and searched through the drawer. It contained card-counters, sockets for candles, a [Pg 215] few scraps of wood detached from the furniture, two or three lustres belonging to the chandelier and a few photographs, among which she found only one of Chevalier, the earliest, showing him standing against a cloudy background.
Suddenly, she thought of Chevalier, and she felt an influence coming from him that seemed to glide along the walls of her bedroom. It felt like the glow of the night-light dimmed because of it. It was less than a shadow, and it filled her with fear. The idea quickly flashed through her mind that this subtle presence came from the portraits of the dead man. She hadn’t kept any of them in her bedroom. But there were still some in the apartment, some she hadn’t torn up. She carefully counted them and realized that three must still be left: the first one, when he was quite young, showed him against a cloudy background; another, laughing and relaxed, sitting on a chair; a third as Don Cæsar de Bazan. In her urgency to destroy any trace of them, she jumped out of bed, lit a candle, and in her nightgown shuffled in her slippers to the drawing-room, until she reached the rosewood table topped with a phoenix palm. She lifted the tablecloth and searched through the drawer. It held card counters, candle sockets, a [Pg 215] few scraps of wood from the furniture, two or three pieces from the chandelier, and a few photographs, among which she found only one of Chevalier, the earliest, showing him standing against a cloudy background.
She searched for the other two in a little piece of Boule furniture which adorned the space between the windows, and on which were some Chinese lamps. Here slumbered lamp-globes of ground glass, lamp-shades, cut-glass goblets ornamented with gilt bronze, a match-stand in painted porcelain flanked by a child sleeping against a drum beside a dog, books whose bindings were detached, tattered musical scores, a couple of broken fans, a flute, and a small heap of carte-de-visite portraits. There she discovered a second Chevalier, the Don Cæsar de Bazan. The third was not there. She asked herself in vain where it could have been hidden away. Fruitlessly she hunted through boxes, bowls, flowerpot holders, and the music davenport. And while she was eagerly searching for the portrait, it was growing in size and distinctness in her imagination, attaining to a man's stature, was assuming a mocking air and defying her. Her head was on fire, her feet were like ice, and she could feel terror creeping into the pit of her stomach. Just as she was about to give up the search, about to go and bury her face in her pillow, she remembered that [Pg 216] her mother kept some photographs in her mirror-panelled wardrobe. She again took courage. Softly she entered the room of the sleeping Madame Nanteuil. With silent steps she crept over to the wardrobe, opened it slowly and noiselessly, and, standing on a chair, explored the top shelf, which was loaded with old cardboard boxes. She came upon an album which dated from the Second Empire, and which had not been opened for twenty years. She rummaged among a mass of letters, of bundles of receipts and Mont-de-Piété vouchers. Awakened by the light of the candle and by the mouse-like noise made by the seeker, Madame Nanteuil demanded:
She searched for the other two in a small piece of Boule furniture that decorated the space between the windows, where some Chinese lamps were placed. There rested lamp globes made of ground glass, lamp shades, cut-glass goblets embellished with gilt bronze, a match stand in painted porcelain flanked by a child sleeping against a drum next to a dog, books with loose bindings, tattered sheet music, a couple of broken fans, a flute, and a small pile of carte-de-visite portraits. There, she found a second Chevalier, the Don César de Bazan. The third was missing. She wondered in vain where it could be hidden. She searched through boxes, bowls, flowerpot holders, and the music cabinet without success. As she eagerly looked for the portrait, it grew larger and clearer in her mind, taking on the stature of a man, with a mocking expression that seemed to challenge her. Her head felt hot, her feet were icy, and she sensed terror creeping into her stomach. Just as she was about to give up the search, on the verge of burying her face in her pillow, she remembered that [Pg 216] her mother kept some photographs in her mirror-paneled wardrobe. She found her courage again. Quietly, she entered the room of the sleeping Madame Nanteuil. With soft steps, she made her way to the wardrobe, opened it slowly and quietly, and, standing on a chair, searched the top shelf, which was cluttered with old cardboard boxes. She discovered an album from the Second Empire that hadn’t been opened in twenty years. She sifted through a collection of letters, bundles of receipts, and Mont-de-Piété vouchers. Awakened by the light of the candle and by the soft sound made by the seeker, Madame Nanteuil asked:
"Who is there?"
"Who's there?"
Immediately, perceiving the familiar little phantom in her long nightgown, with a heavy plait of hair down her back, perched on a chair, she exclaimed:
Immediately, seeing the familiar little figure in her long nightgown, with a thick braid of hair down her back, sitting on a chair, she exclaimed:
"It's you, Félicie? You are not ill, are you? What are you doing there?"
"It's you, Félicie? You're not sick, are you? What are you doing there?"
"I am looking for something."
"I'm searching for something."
"In my wardrobe?"
"In my closet?"
"Yes, mamma."
"Yes, mom."
"Will you kindly go back to your bed! You will catch cold. Tell me at least what you are looking for. If it's the chocolate, it is on the middle shelf next to the silver sugar-basin."
"Could you please go back to bed? You’ll catch a cold. At least tell me what you’re looking for. If it’s the chocolate, it’s on the middle shelf next to the silver sugar bowl."
But Félicie had seized upon a packet of photographs, which she was rapidly turning over. Her impatient fingers rejected Madame Doulce, bedecked with lace, Fagette, radiant, her hair dissolving in its own brilliance; Tony Meyer, with close-set eyes and a nose drooping over his lips; Pradel, with his flourishing beard; Trublet, bald and snub-nosed; Monsieur Bondois, with timorous eye and straight nose set above a heavy moustache. Although not in a mood to bestow any attention upon Monsieur Bondois, she gave him a passing glance of hostility, and by chance let a drop of candle-grease disfigure his nose.
But Félicie had grabbed a stack of photos, which she was flipping through quickly. Her impatient fingers bypassed Madame Doulce, who was decorated with lace, Fagette, glowing, with her hair shining brilliantly; Tony Meyer, with his close-set eyes and a nose that hung over his lips; Pradel, sporting his fancy beard; Trublet, bald and with a snub nose; Monsieur Bondois, with a timid look and a straight nose above a thick mustache. Although she wasn’t in the mood to pay any attention to Monsieur Bondois, she shot him a quick glare of annoyance and accidentally let a drop of candle wax splatter on his nose.
Madame Nanteuil, who was now wide awake, could make nothing of her proceedings.
Madame Nanteuil, now fully awake, couldn't make sense of what she was doing.
"Félicie, why on earth are you poking about in my wardrobe like that?"
"Félicie, why are you rummaging through my closet like that?"
Félicie, who at last held the photograph for which she had sought so assiduously, responded only by a cry of fierce delight and flew from the chair, taking with her her dead friend, and, inadvertently, Monsieur Bondois as well.
Félicie, finally holding the photograph she had searched for so hard, let out a cry of pure joy and jumped up from the chair, taking her deceased friend with her, and unintentionally dragging Monsieur Bondois along too.
Returning to the drawing-room she crouched down by the fireplace, and made a fire of paper, into which she cast Chevalier's three photographs. She watched them blazing, and when the three bits of cardboard, twisted and blackened, had flown up the chimney, and neither shape nor substance was [Pg 218] left, she breathed freely. She really believed, this time, that she had deprived the jealous dead man of the material of his apparitions, and had freed herself from the dreaded obsession.
Returning to the living room, she crouched by the fireplace and started a fire with some paper, into which she tossed Chevalier's three photographs. She watched them burn, and when the three pieces of cardboard twisted and charred and disappeared up the chimney, leaving no trace behind, she breathed a sigh of relief. She truly believed, this time, that she had taken away the jealous dead man's power to haunt her and had freed herself from the terrifying obsession. [Pg 218]
On picking up her candlestick she saw Monsieur Bondois, whose nose had disappeared beneath a round blob of white wax. Not knowing what to do with him she threw him with a laugh into the still flaming grate.
On picking up her candlestick, she saw Monsieur Bondois, whose nose had vanished beneath a round blob of white wax. Unsure of what to do with him, she tossed him into the still-burning fireplace with a laugh.
Returning to her room she stood before the looking-glass and drew her nightgown closely about her, in order to emphasize the lines of her body. A thought which occasionally flitted through her mind tarried there this time a little longer than usual.
Returning to her room, she stood in front of the mirror and pulled her nightgown tightly around her to highlight the shape of her body. A thought that sometimes crossed her mind lingered there this time a bit longer than usual.
She was wont to ask herself:
She frequently asked herself:
"Why is one made like that, with a head, arms, legs, hands, feet, chest, and abdomen? Why is one made like that and not otherwise? It's funny."
"Why are we created like this, with a head, arms, legs, hands, feet, chest, and abdomen? Why are we made this way and not some other way? It's amusing."
And at the moment the human form seemed to her arbitrary, fantastic, alien. But her astonishment was soon over. And, as she looked at herself, she felt pleased with herself. She was conscious of a keen deep-seated delight in herself. She bared her breasts, held them delicately in the hollow of her hands, looked at them tenderly in the glass, as if they were not a part of herself, but something [Pg 219] belonging to her, like two living creatures, like a pair of doves.
And at that moment, the human form seemed to her random, incredible, foreign. But her surprise didn’t last long. As she looked at herself, she felt happy with who she was. She was aware of a deep, genuine joy within herself. She revealed her breasts, gently cradled them in her hands, and gazed at them affectionately in the mirror, as if they were not part of her, but something [Pg 219] she owned, like two living beings, like a pair of doves.
After smiling upon them, she went back to bed. Waking late in the morning she felt surprised for a moment at being alone in her bed. Sometimes, in a dream, she would divide herself into two beings, and, feeling her own flesh, she would dream that she was being caressed by a woman.
After smiling at them, she returned to bed. When she woke up late in the morning, she felt surprised for a moment to find herself alone in her bed. Sometimes, in a dream, she would split herself into two beings, and, feeling her own body, she would dream that she was being hugged by a woman.
CHAPTER XIX
he dress rehearsal of La Grille was called for two o'clock. As early
as one o'clock Dr. Trublet had taken his accustomed place in Nanteuil's
dressing-room.
The dress rehearsal of La Grille was scheduled for two o'clock. By one o'clock, Dr. Trublet had already settled into his usual spot in Nanteuil's dressing room.
Félicie, who was being dressed by Madame Michon, reproached her doctor with having nothing to say to her. Yet it was she who, preoccupied, her mind concentrated upon the part which she was about to play, was not listening to him. She gave orders that nobody should be allowed to come into her dressing-room. For all that, she received Constantin Marc's visit with pleasure, for she found him sympathetic.
Félicie, who was being dressed by Madame Michon, criticized her doctor for not saying anything to her. However, it was she who, distracted and focused on the role she was about to play, wasn't really listening to him. She instructed that no one should be allowed into her dressing room. Still, she welcomed Constantin Marc's visit with delight because she found him to be understanding.
He was getting excited. In order to conceal his agitation he made a pretence of talking about his woods in the Vivarais, and began to tell shooting stories and peasants' tales, which he did not finish.
He was getting excited. To hide his agitation, he pretended to talk about his woods in the Vivarais and started sharing hunting stories and tales from the peasants, which he didn’t finish.
"I am in a funk," said Nanteuil. "And you, Monsieur Marc, don't you feel qualms in the stomach?"
"I’m feeling down," said Nanteuil. "And you, Monsieur Marc, don’t you feel any butterflies in your stomach?"
He denied feeling any anxiety. She insisted:
He denied feeling anxious. She insisted:
"Now confess that you wish it were all over."
"Now admit that you wish it was all finished."
"Well, since you insist, perhaps I would rather it were over."
"Well, since you insist, maybe I’d prefer it to be over."
Whereupon Dr. Socrates, with a simple expression and in a quiet voice, asked him the following question:
Whereupon Dr. Socrates, with a calm expression and a gentle voice, asked him this question:
"Do you not believe that what must be accomplished has already been accomplished, and has been accomplished from all time?"
"Don't you think that what needs to be done has already been done, and has been done for all time?"
And without waiting for a reply he added:
And without waiting for a response, he added:
"If the world's phenomena reach our consciousness in succession, we must not conclude from that that they are really successive, and we have still fewer reasons to believe that they are produced at the moment when we perceive them."
"If the events of the world come to our awareness one after another, we shouldn't assume that they are actually happening in that order, and we have even less reason to believe that they occur at the exact moment we notice them."
"That's obvious," said Constantin Marc, who had not listened.
"That's obvious," said Constantin Marc, who hadn't been paying attention.
"The universe," continued the doctor, "appears to us perpetually imperfect, and we are all under the illusion that it is perpetually completing itself. Since we perceive phenomena successively, we actually believe that they follow one another. We imagine that those which we no longer see are in the past, and those which we do not yet see are in the future. But it is possible to conceive beings built in such fashion that they perceive simultaneously what we regard as the past and the future. We may conceive beings who perceive phenomena in a retrograde [Pg 222] order, and see them unroll themselves from our future to our past. Animals disposing of space otherwise than ourselves, and able, for instance, to move at a speed greater than that of light, would conceive an idea of the succession of phenomena which would differ greatly from our own."
"The universe," the doctor continued, "seems to us always imperfect, and we're all under the illusion that it's constantly coming together. Since we experience events one after another, we genuinely believe they go in a sequence. We think that things we can't see anymore belong to the past, while things we haven't seen yet are in the future. However, it's possible to imagine beings designed in such a way that they can perceive what we think of as the past and the future all at once. We could envision beings that perceive events in reverse order, watching them unfold from our future to our past. Animals that experience space differently than we do, and can, for example, move faster than light, would have a concept of the sequence of events that would be very different from ours." [Pg 222]
"If only Durville is not going to rag me on the stage!" exclaimed Félicie, while Madame Michon was putting on her stockings under her skirt.
"If only Durville isn’t going to tease me on stage!" exclaimed Félicie, while Madame Michon was putting on her stockings under her skirt.
Constantin Marc assured her that Durville did not even dream of any such thing, and begged her not to be uneasy.
Constantin Marc assured her that Durville didn't even think about anything like that and urged her not to worry.
And Dr. Socrates resumed his discourse.
And Dr. Socrates continued his talk.
"We ourselves, of a clear night, when we gaze at Spica Virginis, which is throbbing above the top of a poplar, can see at one and the same time that which was and that which is. And it may be said with equal truth that we see that which is and that which will be. For if the star, such as it appears to us, represents the past as compared with the tree, the tree constitutes the future as compared with the star. Yet the star, which, from afar, shows us its tiny, fiery countenance, not as it is to-day, but as it was in the time of our youth, perhaps even before our birth, and the poplar-tree, whose young leaves are trembling in the fresh night air, come together within us in the same moment of time, and to us are present simultaneously. We say of a thing that [Pg 223] it is in the present when we have a precise perception of it. We say that it is in the past when we preserve but an indistinct image of it. A thing may have been accomplished millions of years ago, yet if it makes the strongest possible impression upon us it will not be for us a thing of the past; it will be present. The order in which things revolve in the depths of the universe is unknown to us. We know only the order of our perceptions. To believe that the future does not exist, because we do not know it, is like believing that a book is not finished because we have not finished reading it."
"We, on a clear night, when we look at Spica Virginis, shining above a poplar tree, can see both what has been and what is now. It's equally true that we can also glimpse what will be. The star, as we see it, shows us the past compared to the tree, which represents the future compared to the star. The star, which from a distance reveals its small, bright face, does so not as it is today, but as it was back in our youth, maybe even before we were born. Meanwhile, the poplar tree, with its young leaves trembling in the cool night air, exists together with the star in our minds at the same moment. Both are present to us simultaneously. We say something is in the present when we have a clear understanding of it. We consider it to be in the past when we only hold a vague memory of it. Something might have happened millions of years ago, but if it leaves a strong impression on us, it doesn’t feel like a thing of the past; it feels present. We don't know the way things unfold in the universe's depths. We only know the order of our own perceptions. To think the future doesn’t exist just because we can’t see it is like believing a book isn’t completed just because we haven’t finished reading it."
The doctor paused for a moment. And Nanteuil, in the silence which followed, heard the sound of her heart beating. She exclaimed:
The doctor paused for a moment. And Nanteuil, in the silence that followed, heard her heart beating. She exclaimed:
"Continue, my dear Socrates, continue, I beg you. If you only knew how much good you do me by talking! You think that I am not listening to a word you say. But it distracts me to hear you talking of far-away things; it makes me feel that there is something else besides my entrance; it prevents me from giving way to the blues. Talk about anything you like, but do not stop."
"Keep going, my dear Socrates, please. If you only knew how much good it does me when you talk! You might think I'm not paying attention to a word you're saying. But listening to you discuss distant things helps distract me; it reminds me that there's more to life than my own troubles; it stops me from feeling down. Talk about anything you want, just don’t stop."
The wise Socrates, who had doubtless anticipated the benign influence which his speech was exerting over the actress, resumed his lecture:
The wise Socrates, who had surely predicted the positive impact his words were having on the actress, continued his lecture:
"The universe is constructed inevitably as a triangle of which two angles and one side are given. [Pg 224] Future things are determined. They are from that moment finished. They are as if they existed. Indeed, they exist already. They exist to such a degree that we know them in part. And, if that part is infinitesimal in proportion to their immensity, it is none the less very appreciable in proportion to the part of accomplished things of which we can have any knowledge. It is permissible to say that, for us, the future is not much more obscure than the past. We know that generations will follow generations in labour, joy and suffering. I look beyond the duration of the human race. I see the constellations slowly changing in the heavens those forms of theirs which seem immutable; I see the Wain unharnessed from its ancient team, the shield of Orion broken in twain, Sirius extinguished. We know that the sun will rise to-morrow and that for a long time to come it will rise every morning amid the dense clouds or in light mists."
"The universe is inevitably shaped like a triangle where two angles and one side are given. [Pg 224] Future events are predetermined. They are already set in motion. They are as if they were real. In fact, they already exist. They exist to such an extent that we have some understanding of them. And while that understanding may be tiny compared to their vastness, it is still significant compared to what we know about things that have already happened. It's fair to say that, for us, the future is not much more mysterious than the past. We understand that generations will succeed one another in work, happiness, and pain. I look beyond the lifespan of humanity. I see the constellations slowly transforming in the sky, those shapes that seem unchanging; I observe the Big Dipper untethered from its old path, the Orion constellation broken apart, Sirius fading away. We know that the sun will rise tomorrow and that it will continue to rise every morning for a long time to come, whether it's through thick clouds or light mists."
Adolphe Meunier entered discreetly on tiptoe.
Adolphe Meunier quietly walked in on his toes.
The doctor grasped his hand warmly.
The doctor shook his hand warmly.
"Good day, Monsieur Meunier. We can see next month's new moon. We do not see her as distinctly as to-night's new moon, because we do not know in what grey or ruddy sky she will reveal her old saucepan-lid over my roof, amid the stove-flues capped with pointed hats and romantic hoods, to the gaze of the amorous cats. But this coming rising [Pg 225] of the moon—if we were expert enough to know it in advance, in its most minute particulars, every one of which is essential, we should conceive as clear an idea of the night whereof I speak as of the night now with us; both would be equally present to us.
"Good day, Mr. Meunier. We can see next month's new moon. We don't see her as clearly as tonight's new moon because we don't know what kind of grey or reddish sky she'll show herself in over my roof, among the chimney flues wearing pointed hats and romantic hoods, for the gaze of the loving cats. But this upcoming rising [Pg 225] of the moon—if we were skilled enough to know it in advance, in all its tiny details, each one of which is important, we would have as clear an idea of the night I'm talking about as we do of the current night; both would feel equally present to us."
"The knowledge that we have of the facts is the sole reason which leads us to believe in their reality. We know that certain facts are bound to occur. We must therefore believe them to be real. And, if they are real, they are realized. It is therefore credible, my dear Constantin Marc, that your play has been played a thousand years ago, or half an hour ago, which comes absolutely to the same thing. It is credible that we have all been dead for some time past. Think it, and your mind will be at rest."
"The knowledge we have about facts is the only reason we believe in their reality. We know that some facts are guaranteed to happen. So, we have to believe they are real. And if they are real, they exist. It’s completely reasonable, my dear Constantin Marc, that your play was performed a thousand years ago or just half an hour ago; it amounts to the same. It’s possible that we’ve all been dead for a while now. Think about it, and your mind will be at ease."
Constantin Marc, who had paid scant attention to his remarks and who did not perceive their relevance or their propriety, answered, in a somewhat irritable tone, that all that was to be found in Bossuet.
Constantin Marc, who had barely listened to his comments and didn't see their relevance or appropriateness, replied in a somewhat irritated tone that everything could be found in Bossuet.
"In Bossuet!" exclaimed the indignant physician. "I challenge you to show me anything resembling it in his works. Bossuet knew nothing of philosophy."
"In Bossuet!" shouted the angry doctor. "I dare you to show me anything like that in his writings. Bossuet didn’t know anything about philosophy."
Nanteuil turned to the doctor. She was wearing a big lawn bonnet with a tall round coif; it was bound tightly upon her head with a wide blue ribbon, [Pg 226] and its lappets, one above another, fell on either side of her face, shading her forehead and cheeks. She had transformed herself into a fiery blonde. Reddish-brown hair fell in curls about her shoulders. An organdie neckerchief was crossed over her bosom and held at the waist by a broad purple girdle. Her white and pink striped petticoat, which flowed as though wet and clinging from the somewhat high waist, made her appear very tall. She looked like a figure in a dream.
Nanteuil turned to the doctor. She was wearing a large lawn bonnet with a tall round shape; it was tightly secured to her head with a wide blue ribbon, [Pg 226] and its flaps, one over the other, fell on either side of her face, shading her forehead and cheeks. She had transformed herself into a fiery blonde. Reddish-brown hair fell in curls around her shoulders. An organza neckerchief was crossed over her chest and held at the waist by a broad purple belt. Her white and pink striped petticoat flowed as if it were wet and clinging from the somewhat high waist, making her appear very tall. She looked like a figure in a dream.
"Delage, too," she said, "rags one in the most rotten way. Have you heard what he did to Marie-Claire? They were playing together in Les Femmes savantes. He put an egg into her hand, on the stage. She couldn't get rid of it until the end of the act."
"Delage, too," she said, "really messes things up in the worst way. Have you heard what he did to Marie-Claire? They were performing together in Les Femmes savantes. He put an egg in her hand on stage. She couldn't get rid of it until the end of the act."
On hearing the call boy's summons she went downstairs, followed by Constantin Marc. They heard the roar of the house, the mutterings of the monster, and it seemed to them that they were entering into the flaming mouth of the apocalyptic beast.
On hearing the call boy's summons, she went downstairs, followed by Constantin Marc. They could hear the roar of the house, the mutterings of the monster, and it felt like they were stepping into the flaming mouth of the apocalyptic beast.
La Grille was favourably received. Coming at the end of the season, with little hope of a long run, it found favour with all. By the middle of the first act the public were conscious of the style, the poetry, and, here and there, the obscurities of the play. Thenceforward they respected it, pretended to enjoy [Pg 227] it, and wished they could understand it. They forgave the play its slight dramatic value. It was literary, and for once the style found acceptance.
La Grille was well-received. Arriving at the end of the season, with little chance for a long run, it appealed to everyone. By the middle of the first act, the audience was aware of the style, the poetry, and, at times, the complexities of the play. From then on, they respected it, pretended to enjoy it, and wished they could fully grasp it. They overlooked the play's minor dramatic value. It was literary, and for once, the style was embraced. [Pg 227]
Constantin Marc as yet knew no one in Paris. He had invited to the theatre three or four landed proprietors from the Vivarais, who sat blushing in the stalls in their white ties, rolled their round eyes, and did not dare to applaud. As he had no friends nobody dreamt of spoiling his success. And even in the corridors there were those who set his talent above that of other dramatists. Greatly excited, nevertheless, he wandered from dressing-room to dressing-room or collapsed into a chair at the back of the director's stage-box. He was worrying about the critics.
Constantin Marc didn't know anyone in Paris yet. He had invited three or four landowners from Vivarais to the theater, who sat there blushing in their white ties, rolling their eyes, and were too shy to applaud. Since he had no friends, no one thought about ruining his success. Even in the corridors, some people considered his talent superior to that of other playwrights. Despite this, he felt very nervous as he moved from dressing room to dressing room or slumped into a chair at the back of the director’s box. He was anxious about the critics.
"Set your mind at rest," Romilly told him. "They will say of your play the good or bad things they think of Pradel. And for the time being they think more ill than good of him."
"Don't worry," Romilly told him. "They'll judge your play based on what they think of Pradel. And right now, they have a lot more negative things to say about him than positive."
Adolphe Meunier informed him, with a pale smile, that the house was a good one, and that the critics thought the play showed very careful writing. He expected, in return, a few complimentary words concerning his Pandolphe et Clarimonde. But it did not enter Constantin Marc's head to vouchsafe them.
Adolphe Meunier told him, with a faint smile, that the house was good and that the critics thought the play demonstrated very careful writing. He expected, in return, a few kind words about his Pandolphe et Clarimonde. But it didn't even cross Constantin Marc's mind to give them.
Romilly shook his head.
Romilly shook his head.
"We must look forward to slatings. Monsieur [Pg 228] Meunier knows it well. The press has shown itself ferociously unjust to him."
"We need to anticipate critiques. Monsieur [Pg 228] Meunier is well aware of this. The media has been extremely unfair to him."
"Alas," sighed Meunier, "they will never say as many hard things about us as were said of Shakespeare and Molière."
"Unfortunately," sighed Meunier, "they will never say as many harsh things about us as were said about Shakespeare and Molière."
Nanteuil had a great success which was marked less by vociferous calls before the curtain than by the deeper and more discreet approval of discriminating playgoers. She had revealed qualities with which she had not hitherto been credited; purity of diction, nobility of pose, and a proud, modest grace.
Nanteuil had a huge success that was signified less by loud applause before the curtain than by the deeper and more subtle approval of discerning theatergoers. She had shown qualities that she hadn’t been recognized for before; clarity of speech, elegance of demeanor, and a proud yet humble grace.
On the stage, during the last interval, the Minister congratulated her in person. This was a sign that the public was favourably disposed, for Ministers never express individual opinions. Behind the Grand Master of the University pressed a flattering crowd of public officials, society folk, and dramatic authors. With arms extended toward her like pump-handles they all simultaneously assured her of their admiration. And Madame Doulce, stifled by their numbers, left on the buttons of the men's garments shreds of her countless adornments of cotton lace.
On stage, during the last break, the Minister congratulated her in person. This showed that the public was supportive, since Ministers never share personal opinions. Behind the Grand Master of the University was a crowd of flattering public officials, socialites, and playwrights. With their arms reaching out to her like pump handles, they all assured her of their admiration at the same time. And Madame Doulce, overwhelmed by their numbers, left bits of her numerous cotton lace decorations stuck to the buttons of the men’s clothing.
The last act was Nanteuil's triumph. She obtained better things from the public than tears and shouts. She won from all eyes that moist yet tearless gaze, from every breast that deep yet almost [Pg 229] silent murmur, which beauty alone has power to compel.
The last act was Nanteuil's triumph. She received more from the audience than just tears and cheers. She captured that moist yet tearless look in everyone's eyes and that deep but nearly silent murmur from every heart, which only beauty can inspire. [Pg 229]
She felt that she had grown immeasurably in a single instant, and when the curtain fell she whispered:
She felt like she had grown so much in just a moment, and when the curtain dropped, she whispered:
"This time I've done it!"
"I've done it this time!"
She was unrobing herself in her dressing-room, which was filled with baskets of orchids, bouquets of roses, and bunches of lilac, when a telegram was brought to her. She tore it open. It was a message from The Hague containing these words:
She was undressing in her dressing room, which was filled with baskets of orchids, bouquets of roses, and bunches of lilac, when a telegram was delivered to her. She ripped it open. It was a message from The Hague with these words:
"My heartfelt congratulations on your undoubted success—Robert."
"My heartfelt congratulations on your undeniable success—Robert."
Just as she finished reading it Dr. Trublet entered the dressing-room.
Just as she finished reading it, Dr. Trublet walked into the dressing room.
She flung her arms, burning with joy and fatigue, round his neck; she drew him to her warm moist bosom, and planted on his meditative Silenus-like face a smacking kiss from her intoxicated lips.
She wrapped her arms, filled with joy and exhaustion, around his neck; she pulled him to her warm, soft chest and planted a passionate kiss on his thoughtful, Silenus-like face from her tipsy lips.
Socrates, who was a wise man, took the kiss as a gift from the gods, knowing full well that it was not intended for him, but was dedicated to glory and to love.
Socrates, a wise man, accepted the kiss as a gift from the gods, fully aware that it wasn’t meant for him, but was instead dedicated to glory and love.
Nanteuil realized herself that in her intoxication she had perhaps charged her lips with too ardent a breath, for, throwing her arms apart, she exclaimed:
Nanteuil realized that in her intoxication she might have filled her lips with too passionate a breath, for, throwing her arms apart, she exclaimed:
"It can't be helped! I am so happy!"
"It can't be helped! I'm so happy!"
CHAPTER XX
t Easter an event of great importance increased her joy. She was
engaged at the Comédie-Française. For some time past, without mentioning
the subject, she had been trying for this engagement. Her mother had
helped her in the steps she had taken. Madame Nanteuil was lovable now
that she was loved. She now wore straight corsets and petticoats that
she could display anywhere. She frequented the offices of the Ministry,
and it is said that, being solicited by the deputy-chief of a department
in the Beaux-Arts, she had yielded with very good grace. At least, so
Pradel said.
At Easter, a significant event made her very happy. She got a role at the Comédie-Française. For a while, without bringing it up, she had been working towards this opportunity. Her mother had supported her in the efforts she made. Madame Nanteuil was charming now that she felt loved. She wore fitted corsets and skirts that she could show off anywhere. She visited the Ministry offices often, and it's said that, after being approached by the deputy-chief of a department in the Beaux-Arts, she accepted his advances gracefully. At least, that's what Pradel said.
He would exclaim joyfully:
He would shout happily:
"You wouldn't recognize her now, Mother Nanteuil! She has become most desirable, and I like her better than her little vixen of a daughter. She has a better disposition."
"You wouldn't recognize her now, Mother Nanteuil! She's become so attractive, and I prefer her to her little vixen of a daughter. She's got a much nicer personality."
Like the rest of them, Félicie had disdained, despised, disparaged the Comédie-Française. She had said, as all the others did: "I should hardly [Pg 231] care to get into that house." And no sooner did she belong to it than she was filled with proud and joyful exultation. What increased her pleasure twofold was that she was to make her debut in L'École des Femmes. She already studying the part of Agnès with an obscure old professor, Monsieur Maxime, of whom she thought highly because he was acquainted with all the traditions of the stage. At night she was playing Cécile in La Grille, and she was living in a feverish turmoil of work she received a letter in which Robert de Ligny informed her that he was returning to Paris.
Like everyone else, Félicie had looked down on and criticized the Comédie-Française. She had said, just like the others: "I wouldn't want to step foot in that theater." But as soon as she became a part of it, she was filled with a proud and joyful excitement. Her pleasure doubled when she learned she would make her debut in L'École des Femmes. She was already studying the role of Agnès with an obscure old professor, Monsieur Maxime, whom she admired for his knowledge of all the traditions of the stage. At night, she was playing Cécile in La Grille, and she was caught up in a whirlwind of work when she received a letter from Robert de Ligny, informing her that he was returning to Paris.
During his stay at The Hague he had made certain experiments which had proved to him the strength of his love for Félicie. He had had women who were reported to be pretty and pleasing. But neither Madame Bourmdernoot of Brussels, tall and fresh looking, nor the sisters Van Cruysen, milliners on the Vijver, nor Suzette Berger of the Folies-Marigny, then on tour through Northern Europe, had given him a sense of pleasure in its completeness. When in their company he had regretted Félicie, and had discovered that of all women, he desired her alone. Had it not been for Madame Bourmdernoot, the sisters Van Cruysen, and Suzette Berger, he would never have known how priceless Félicie Nanteuil was to [Pg 232] him. If one must be literal it may be argued that he was unfaithful to her. That is the correct expression. There are others which come to the same thing and which are not such good form. But if one looks into the matter more closely he had not deceived her. He had sought her, he had sought her out of herself and had learned that he would find her in herself alone. In his futile wisdom he was almost angered and alarmed; he was uneasy at having to stake the multitude of his desires upon so slender a substance, in so unique and fragile a vessel. And he loved Félicie all the more because he loved her with a certain depth of rage and hatred.
During his time in The Hague, he conducted some experiments that confirmed the strength of his love for Félicie. He had been with women who were said to be attractive and charming. But neither Madame Bourmdernoot from Brussels, who was tall and fresh-looking, nor the Van Cruysen sisters, hat makers on the Vijver, nor Suzette Berger from the Folies-Marigny, who was touring through Northern Europe at the time, brought him complete pleasure. While spending time with them, he found himself missing Félicie and realized that out of all women, he wanted her alone. Without Madame Bourmdernoot, the Van Cruysen sisters, and Suzette Berger, he would never have realized how invaluable Félicie Nanteuil was to him. [Pg 232] If we are being technical, one could say he was unfaithful to her. That would be the accurate term. There are others that mean the same thing but aren't as polite. However, upon closer inspection, he hadn’t truly deceived her. He sought her out and discovered that he would only find her within herself. In his misguided wisdom, he felt a mix of anger and concern; he was anxious about having to invest all his desires into something so delicate and unique. He loved Félicie even more because his love was intertwined with a certain intensity of rage and hatred.
On the very day of his arrival in Paris, he made an appointment with her in a bachelor's flat, which a rich colleague in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs had placed at his disposal. It was situated in the Avenue de l'Alma, on the ground-floor of an attractive-looking house, and consisted of a couple of small rooms hung with a design of suns with brown hearts and golden rays, which rose, uniform, peaceful, and shadowless on the cheerful wall. The rooms were modern in style; the furniture was of a pale green, decorated with flowering branches; its outlines followed the gentle curves of the liliaceous plants, and assumed something of the tender feeling of moist vegetation. [Pg 233] The cheval-glass leant slightly forward in its frame of bulbous plants of supple form, terminating in closed corollas, and in this frame the mirror had the coolness of water. A white bearskin lay stretched at the foot of the bed.
On the very day he arrived in Paris, he set up a meeting with her in a bachelor’s apartment that a wealthy colleague from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs had offered him. It was located on the ground floor of a charming building on Avenue de l'Alma and had a couple of small rooms decorated with a pattern of suns that had brown centers and golden rays, which appeared uniform, calm, and shadowless on the bright wall. The rooms had a modern style; the furniture was light green, adorned with floral branches; its shapes followed the gentle curves of lily-like plants, conveying a sense of the delicate feel of lush vegetation. [Pg 233] The cheval-glass leaned slightly forward in its frame of bulbous, flexible plants, ending in closed flower shapes, and in this frame, the mirror had the refreshing quality of water. A white bearskin rug lay spread out at the foot of the bed.
"You! You! It's you!" was all she could say.
"You! You! It's you!" was all she could say.
She saw the pupils of his eyes shining and heavy with desire, and while she gazed at him a cloud gathered before her eyes. The subtle fire of her blood, the burning of her loins, the warm breath of her lungs, the fiery colour of her face, were all blended in her mouth, and she pressed on her lover's lips a long, long kiss, a kiss pregnant with all these fires and as fresh as a flower in the dew.
She saw the pupils of his eyes shining and heavy with desire, and as she looked at him, a cloud appeared in her vision. The subtle heat in her blood, the yearning in her body, the warmth of her breath, and the flush of her cheeks all mixed together in her mouth. She pressed a long, deep kiss on her lover's lips, a kiss filled with all this passion and as fresh as a flower in the morning dew.
They asked one another twenty things at a time, and their questions intermingled.
They asked each other twenty questions at once, and their inquiries became tangled together.
"Were you wretched, Robert, when you were away from me?"
"Were you miserable, Robert, when you were away from me?"
"So you are making your début at the Comédie?
"So you’re making your debut at the Comédie?"
"Is The Hague a pretty place?"
"Is The Hague a nice place?"
"Yes, a quiet little town. Red, grey, yellow houses, with stepped gables, green shutters, and geraniums at the windows."
"Yeah, a peaceful little town. Red, gray, yellow houses with stepped gables, green shutters, and geraniums in the windows."
"What did you do there?"
"What were you doing there?"
"Not much. I walked round the Vijver."
"Not much. I walked around the pond."
"You did not go with women, I should hope?"
"You didn't go with women, did you?"
"No, upon my word. How pretty you are, my darling! Are you well again now?"
"No, I swear. You look so beautiful, my darling! Are you feeling better now?"
"Yes, I am cured."
"Yeah, I'm cured."
And in sudden entreaty she said:
And in a sudden plea, she said:
"Robert, I love you. Do not leave me. If you were to leave me I know for certain I could never take another lover. And what would become of me? You know that I can't do without love."
"Robert, I love you. Please don't leave me. If you were to go, I know for sure I could never be with anyone else. What would happen to me? You know I can't live without love."
He replied brusquely, in a harsh voice, that he loved her only too well, that he thought of nothing but of her.
He replied abruptly, in a rough voice, that he loved her more than anything, and that she was all he could think about.
"I'm going crazy with it."
"I'm going crazy over it."
His harshness delighted and reassured her better than the nerveless tenderness of oaths and promises could have done. She smiled and began to undress herself generously.
His roughness made her feel more delighted and reassured than any weak tenderness of oaths and promises could have. She smiled and started to undress herself in a generous way.
"When do you make your début at the Comédie?"
"When do you make your debut at the Comédie?"
"This very month."
"This month."
She opened her little bag, and took from it, together with her face-powder, her call for the rehearsal, which she held out to Robert. It was a source of unending delight to her to gaze admiringly at this document, because it bore the heading of the Comédie, with the remote and awe-inspiring date of its foundation.
She opened her small bag and took out, along with her face powder, her call for the rehearsal, which she handed to Robert. It brought her endless joy to look at this document with admiration, as it had the title of the Comédie and the distant and impressive date of its founding.
"You see, I make my début as Agnès in L'École des Femmes."
"You see, I'm making my debut as Agnès in L'École des Femmes."
"It's a fine part."
"It's a great part."
"I believe you."
"I trust you."
And, while she was undressing, the lines surged to her lips, and she whispered them:
And, while she was getting undressed, the words came to her lips, and she whispered them:
"Moi, j'ai blessé quelqu'un? fis-je tout étonnée
Oui, dit-elle, blessé; mais blessé tout de bon;
Et c'est l'homme qu'hier vous vîtes au balcon
Las! qui pourrait, lui dis-je, en avoir été cause?
Sur lui, sans y penser, fis-je choir quelque chose?"
"Me, I hurt someone? I said, all surprised.
Yes, she replied, hurt; but really hurt;
And it's the man you saw on the balcony yesterday.
Alas! who could, I asked her, have caused it?
Did I drop something on him without thinking?"
"You see, I have not grown thin."
"You see, I haven't lost any weight."
"Non, dit-elle, vos yeux ont fait ce coup fatal,
Et c'est de leurs regards qu'est venu tout son mal."
"No," she said, "your eyes are the ones that caused this fatal blow,
And it’s from their gaze that all her suffering came."
"If anything, I am a little plumper, but not too much."
"If anything, I'm a bit chubbier, but not by much."
"Hé, mon Dieu! ma surprise est, fis-je, sans seconde;
Mes yeux ont-ils du mal pour en donner au monde?"
"Holy cow! My surprise is, I said, without equal;
Are my eyes struggling to show it to the world?"
He listened to the lines with pleasure. If on the one hand he did not know much more of the literature of bygone days or of French tradition than his youthful contemporaries, he had more taste and more lively interests. And, like all Frenchmen, he loved Molière, understood him, and felt him profoundly.
He enjoyed listening to the lines. Even though he didn’t know much more about the literature of the past or French tradition than his younger peers, he had better taste and more vibrant interests. And, like all French people, he loved Molière, understood him, and felt a deep connection to his work.
"It's delightful," he said. "Now, come to me."
"It's wonderful," he said. "Now, come here."
She let her chemise slip downwards with a calm and beneficent grace. But, because she wished to make herself desired, and because she loved comedy, she began Agnès' narrative:
She let her nightgown slide downwards with a calm and kind grace. But, since she wanted to be desirable, and because she enjoyed comedy, she started Agnès' story:
"J'étais sur le balcon à travailler au frais,
Lorsque je vis passer sous les arbres d'auprès
Un jeune homme bien fait qui, rencontrant ma vue...."
"J'étais sur le balcon à travailler au frais,
Lorsque je vis passer sous les arbres d'auprès
Un jeune homme bien fait qui, rencontrant ma vue...."
He called her, and drew her to him. She glided from his arms, and, advancing toward the mirror, she continued to recite and act before the glass.
He called her over and pulled her close. She slipped out of his embrace and, walking toward the mirror, she kept reciting and performing in front of the glass.
"D'une humble révérence aussitôt me salue."
"D'une humble révérence aussitôt me salue."
Bending her knee, at first slightly, then lower, then, with her left leg brought forward, and her right thrown, back, she curtsied deeply.
Bending her knee, at first slightly, then lower, and with her left leg brought forward and her right leg thrown back, she curtsied deeply.
"Moi, pour ne point manquer à la civilité,
Je fis la révérence aussi de mon côté."
"Me, in order to not miss out on civility,
I bowed as well on my side."
He called her more urgently. But she dropped a second curtsy, the pauses of which she accentuated with amusing precision. And she went on reciting and dropping curtsies at the places indicated by the text and by the traditions of the stage.
He called her more urgently. But she dropped a second curtsy, emphasizing the pauses with playful precision. She continued reciting and dropping curtsies at the spots identified by the text and the traditions of the stage.
"Soudain il me refait une autre révérence;
Moi, j'en refais de même une autre en diligence;
Et lui, d'une troisième aussitôt repartant,
D'une troisième aussi j'y repars à l'instant."
"Suddenly, he bows to me again;
I quickly bow back in response;
And he, immediately starting with a third bow,
I promptly return with a third one as well."
She executed every detail of stage business, [Pg 237] seriously and conscientiously, taking pains to give a perfect rendering. Her poses, some of which were disconcerting, requiring as they did a skirt to explain them, were almost all pretty, while all were interesting, inasmuch as they brought into relief the firm muscles under the soft envelope of a young body, and revealed at every movement correspondences and harmonies which are not commonly observed.
She carried out every aspect of the stage performance, [Pg 237] with seriousness and dedication, making an effort to deliver a flawless portrayal. Her poses, some of which were a bit unsettling because they needed a skirt to make sense, were mostly beautiful, and all were engaging, as they highlighted the strong muscles beneath the gentle exterior of a young body, and showed connections and harmonies that aren’t usually noticed with each movement.
When clothing her nudity with the propriety of her attitudes and the ingenuousness of her expressions she was the incarnation, through mere chance and caprice, of a gem of art, an allegory of Innocence in the style of Allegrain or Clodion. And the great lines of the comedy rang out with delicious purity from this animated figurine. Robert, enthralled in spite of himself, suffered her to go on to the very end. What entertained him above all was that the most public of all things, a stage scene, should be presented to him in so private and secret a fashion. And, while watching the ceremonious actions of this girl in all her nudity, he was at the same time revelling in the philosophical pleasure of discovering how dignity is produced in the best social circles.
When she dressed her nudity with the grace of her demeanor and the sincerity of her expressions, she became, through mere chance and whim, a true work of art, a symbol of Innocence in the style of Allegrain or Clodion. The grand lines of the performance resonated with exquisite clarity from this lively figure. Robert, captivated against his will, allowed her to continue until the very end. What amused him most was that the most public of things, a stage scene, was being presented to him in such a private and intimate way. And as he watched the ceremonial actions of this girl in all her nudity, he was also enjoying the intellectual delight of uncovering how dignity is formed in the highest social circles.
"Il passe, vient, repasse et toujours de plus belle
Me fait à chaque fois une révérence nouvelle,
Et moi qui tous ses tours fixement regardais,
Nouvelle révérence aussi je lui rendais...."
"He's coming and going, always returning again,
Each time bowing to me in a new way,
And I, who watched all his moves intently,
Bowed back to him in a new way as well...."
In the meantime she admired in the mirror her freshly-budded breasts, her supple waist, her arms, a trifle slender, round and tapering, and her smooth, beautiful knees; and, seeing all this subservient to the fine art of comedy, she became animated and exalted; a slight flush, like rouge, tinted her cheeks.
In the meantime, she admired her freshly blossoming breasts in the mirror, her flexible waist, her slightly slender arms that were round and tapering, and her smooth, beautiful knees. Seeing all this dedicated to the fine art of comedy, she felt energized and uplifted; a slight blush, like blush on her cheeks, appeared.
"Tant que si sur ce point la nuit ne fût venue,
Toujours comme cela je me serais tenue,
Ne voulaut point céder, ni recevoir l'ennui
Qu'il me pût estimer moins civile que lui...."
"Tant que si sur ce point la nuit ne fût venue,
Toujours comme cela je me serais tenue,
Ne voulant point céder, ni recevoir l'ennui
Qu'il me pût estimer moins civile que lui...."
He called to her from the bed, where he was lying on his elbow.
He called to her from the bed, where he was resting on his elbow.
"Now come!"
"Come on!"
Whereupon, full of animation and with heightened colour, she exclaimed:
Whereupon, full of energy and with bright color, she exclaimed:
"Don't you think that I, too, love you!"
"Don't you think that I love you, too?"
She flung herself beside her lover. Supple and wholly surrendered, she threw back her head, offering to his kisses her eyes veiled with shadowy lashes and her half-parted lips, from which gleamed a moist flash of white.
She threw herself beside her lover. Flexible and completely surrendered, she tilted her head back, presenting her eyes shrouded with dark lashes and her slightly parted lips, from which a glistening glimpse of white showed.
Of a sudden she started to her knees. Her staring eyes were filled with unspeakable terror. A hoarse scream escaped from her throat, followed by a wail as long drawn out and gentle as an organ note. Turning her head, she pointed to the white fur spread out at the foot of the bed.
Of a sudden, she dropped to her knees. Her wide eyes were filled with indescribable fear. A harsh scream escaped her lips, followed by a wail that was long and soft, like an organ note. Turning her head, she pointed to the white fur spread out at the foot of the bed.
"There! There! He is lying there like a crouching dog, with a hole in his head. He is looking at me, with the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth."
"There! There! He’s lying there like a crouching dog, with a hole in his head. He’s looking at me, with blood trickling from the corner of his mouth."
Her eyes, wide open, rolled up, showing the whites. Her body stretched backward like a bow, and, when it had recovered its suppleness, she fell as if dead.
Her eyes, wide open, rolled back, exposing the whites. Her body arched backward like a bow, and, once it regained its flexibility, she collapsed as if lifeless.
He bathed her temples with cold water, and brought her back to consciousness. In a childlike voice she whimpered that every joint in her body was broken. Feeling a burning sensation in the hollow of her hand, she looked, and saw that the palm was cut and bleeding.
He splashed cold water on her temples and brought her back to awareness. In a childlike voice, she whined that every joint in her body hurt. Feeling a burning sensation in her palm, she looked and saw that her hand was cut and bleeding.
She said:
She said:
"It's my nails, they've gone into my hand. See, my nails are full of blood!"
"It's my nails; they've embedded into my hand. Look, my nails are covered in blood!"
She thanked him tenderly for his ministrations, and apologized sweetly for causing him so much trouble.
She thanked him warmly for his help and apologized sincerely for putting him through so much trouble.
"It was not for that you came, was it?"
"It wasn't for that you came, right?"
She tried to smile, and looked around her.
She attempted to smile and glanced around her.
"It's nice, here."
"It's nice here."
Her gaze met the call to rehearsal lying open on the bedside table, and she sighed:
Her eyes fell on the open rehearsal call sitting on the bedside table, and she sighed:
"What is the use of my being a great actress if I am not happy?"
"What’s the point of being a great actress if I’m not happy?"
Without realizing it, she was repeating word for word [Pg 240] what Chevalier had said when she rejected his advances.
Without realizing it, she was repeating exactly what Chevalier had said when she rejected his advances. [Pg 240]
Then, raising her still stupefied head from the pillow in which it had lain buried, she turned her mournful eyes toward her lover, and said to him resignedly:
Then, lifting her still-dazed head from the pillow where it had been buried, she turned her sorrowful eyes toward her lover and said to him with acceptance:
"We did indeed love each other, we two. It is over. We shall never again belong to each other; no, never. He forbids it!"
"We really did love each other, the two of us. It's over. We'll never belong to each other again; no, never. He says we can't!"
THE END
THE END
Transcriber's Note
The following typos have been corrected.
The following typos have been fixed.
Page | Typo | Correction |
92 | disease. | disease." |
103 | Saint-Etienne-du-Mont | Saint-Étienne-du-Mont |
104 | Saint-Êtienne-du-Mont | Saint-Étienne-du-Mont |
138 | dimunitive | diminutive |
141 | magificent | magnificent |
141 | Saint-Êtienne-du-Mont | Saint-Étienne-du-Mont |
The following inconsistent hyphenations in the source text were left unchanged:
The following inconsistent hyphenations in the source text were left unchanged:
ill-will/illwill
fire-place/fireplace
box-wood/boxwood
ill will
fireplace
boxwood
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