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ARMADALE
By Wilkie Collins
TO JOHN FORSTER.
TO JOHN FORSTER.
In acknowledgment of the services which he has rendered to the cause of literature by his “Life of Goldsmith;” and in affectionate remembrance of a friendship which is associated with some of the happiest years of my life.
In recognition of the contributions he made to literature with his “Life of Goldsmith,” and in loving memory of a friendship tied to some of the happiest years of my life.
Readers in general—on whose friendly reception experience has given me some reason to rely—will, I venture to hope, appreciate whatever merit there may be in this story without any prefatory pleading for it on my part. They will, I think, see that it has not been hastily meditated or idly wrought out. They will judge it accordingly, and I ask no more.
Readers in general—whose positive feedback I've come to trust—will, I hope, appreciate any value this story has without me having to plead for it. I believe they'll see that it wasn't created quickly or carelessly. They'll judge it accordingly, and that's all I ask.
Readers in particular will, I have some reason to suppose, be here and there disturbed, perhaps even offended, by finding that “Armadale” oversteps, in more than one direction, the narrow limits within which they are disposed to restrict the development of modern fiction—if they can.
Readers, in particular, may find themselves disturbed, maybe even offended, when they see that "Armadale" goes beyond the narrow boundaries they prefer for modern fiction—if they can manage that.
Nothing that I could say to these persons here would help me with them as Time will help me if my work lasts. I am not afraid of my design being permanently misunderstood, provided the execution has done it any sort of justice. Estimated by the clap-trap morality of the present day, this may be a very daring book. Judged by the Christian morality which is of all time, it is only a book that is daring enough to speak the truth.
Nothing I could say to these people here would help me with them like Time will, if my work endures. I'm not worried about my intentions being permanently misunderstood, as long as the execution has done it some justice. By today's flashy morality, this might come off as a very bold book. But judged by the timeless Christian morality, it’s simply a book brave enough to tell the truth.
LONDON, April, 1866.
LONDON, April 1866.
ARMADALE.
PROLOGUE.
I. THE TRAVELERS.
It was the opening of the season of eighteen hundred and thirty-two, at the Baths of Wildbad.
It was the start of the season in 1832, at the Baths of Wildbad.
The evening shadows were beginning to gather over the quiet little German town, and the diligence was expected every minute. Before the door of the principal inn, waiting the arrival of the first visitors of the year, were assembled the three notable personages of Wildbad, accompanied by their wives—the mayor, representing the inhabitants; the doctor, representing the waters; the landlord, representing his own establishment. Beyond this select circle, grouped snugly about the trim little square in front of the inn, appeared the towns-people in general, mixed here and there with the country people, in their quaint German costume, placidly expectant of the diligence—the men in short black jackets, tight black breeches, and three-cornered beaver hats; the women with their long light hair hanging in one thickly plaited tail behind them, and the waists of their short woolen gowns inserted modestly in the region of their shoulder-blades. Round the outer edge of the assemblage thus formed, flying detachments of plump white-headed children careered in perpetual motion; while, mysteriously apart from the rest of the inhabitants, the musicians of the Baths stood collected in one lost corner, waiting the appearance of the first visitors to play the first tune of the season in the form of a serenade. The light of a May evening was still bright on the tops of the great wooded hills watching high over the town on the right hand and the left; and the cool breeze that comes before sunset came keenly fragrant here with the balsamic odor of the first of the Black Forest.
The evening shadows were starting to settle over the quiet little German town, and the stagecoach was expected any minute. In front of the main inn, waiting for the arrival of the first visitors of the year, stood the three notable figures of Wildbad, accompanied by their wives—the mayor, representing the townspeople; the doctor, representing the mineral waters; and the landlord, representing his establishment. Beyond this select group, the townsfolk gathered around the neat little square in front of the inn, mingling with the country people dressed in their traditional German attire, patiently waiting for the stagecoach—the men in short black jackets, tight black pants, and tricorn hats; the women with their long light hair in a single thick braid down their backs, and the waists of their short woolen dresses cinched modestly near their shoulder blades. Around the outskirts of the crowd, enthusiastic groups of chubby, white-haired children raced around in constant motion, while, set apart from the rest of the townspeople, the musicians from the Baths stood in a lonely corner, waiting for the first visitors to play the season's first tune as a serenade. The light of a May evening still shone brightly on the peaks of the tall wooded hills overlooking the town on both sides, and the cool breeze that comes before sunset carried the sweet scent of the first blooms of the Black Forest.
“Mr. Landlord,” said the mayor’s wife (giving the landlord his title), “have you any foreign guests coming on this first day of the season?”
“Mr. Landlord,” said the mayor’s wife (addressing him by his title), “do you have any foreign guests arriving on the first day of the season?”
“Madame Mayoress,” replied the landlord (returning the compliment), “I have two. They have written—the one by the hand of his servant, the other by his own hand apparently—to order their rooms; and they are from England, both, as I think by their names. If you ask me to pronounce those names, my tongue hesitates; if you ask me to spell them, here they are, letter by letter, first and second in their order as they come. First, a high-born stranger (by title Mister) who introduces himself in eight letters, A, r, m, a, d, a, l, e—and comes ill in his own carriage. Second, a high-born stranger (by title Mister also), who introduces himself in four letters—N, e, a, l—and comes ill in the diligence. His excellency of the eight letters writes to me (by his servant) in French; his excellency of the four letters writes to me in German. The rooms of both are ready. I know no more.”
“Madame Mayoress,” replied the landlord (returning the compliment), “I have two. They have written—one by the hand of his servant, the other by his own hand apparently—to book their rooms; and they are both from England, or so I believe by their names. If you ask me to pronounce those names, my tongue hesitates; if you ask me to spell them, here they are, letter by letter, first and second in order. First, a high-born stranger (by the title Mister) who introduces himself in eight letters: A, r, m, a, d, a, l, e—and arrives in his own carriage. Second, a high-born stranger (also by the title Mister), who introduces himself in four letters: N, e, a, l—and arrives by the coach. The gentleman with the eight letters writes to me (by his servant) in French; the gentleman with the four letters writes to me in German. The rooms for both are ready. I know no more.”
“Perhaps,” suggested the mayor’s wife, “Mr. Doctor has heard from one or both of these illustrious strangers?”
“Maybe,” the mayor’s wife suggested, “Mr. Doctor has heard from one or both of these notable newcomers?”
“From one only, Madam Mayoress; but not, strictly speaking, from the person himself. I have received a medical report of his excellency of the eight letters, and his case seems a bad one. God help him!”
“From just one, Madam Mayoress; but not, strictly speaking, from the person himself. I’ve received a medical report about his excellency with the eight letters, and his situation appears to be serious. God help him!”
“The diligence!” cried a child from the outskirts of the crowd.
“The hard work!” shouted a kid from the edge of the crowd.
The musicians seized their instruments, and silence fell on the whole community. From far away in the windings of the forest gorge, the ring of horses’ bells came faintly clear through the evening stillness. Which carriage was approaching—the private carriage with Mr. Armadale, or the public carriage with Mr. Neal?
The musicians grabbed their instruments, and silence spread throughout the entire community. From deep within the winding forest gorge, the sound of horse bells faintly echoed through the evening stillness. Which carriage was coming—Mr. Armadale's private carriage or Mr. Neal's public carriage?
“Play, my friends!” cried the mayor to the musicians. “Public or private, here are the first sick people of the season. Let them find us cheerful.”
“Play, my friends!” shouted the mayor to the musicians. “Whether public or private, here are the first sick people of the season. Let’s show them our cheer.”
The band played a lively dance tune, and the children in the square footed it merrily to the music. At the same moment, their elders near the inn door drew aside, and disclosed the first shadow of gloom that fell over the gayety and beauty of the scene. Through the opening made on either hand, a little procession of stout country girls advanced, each drawing after her an empty chair on wheels; each in waiting (and knitting while she waited) for the paralyzed wretches who came helpless by hundreds then—who come helpless by thousands now—to the waters of Wildbad for relief.
The band played an upbeat dance tune, and the kids in the square danced happily to the music. At the same time, the older folks by the inn door stepped aside, revealing the first hint of sadness that fell over the joy and beauty of the scene. Through the gap created on either side, a small group of sturdy country girls approached, each pulling along an empty chair on wheels; each waiting (and knitting while they waited) for the paralyzed individuals who arrived helplessly by the hundreds then—who come helplessly by the thousands now—to the waters of Wildbad for relief.
While the band played, while the children danced, while the buzz of many talkers deepened, while the strong young nurses of the coming cripples knitted impenetrably, a woman’s insatiable curiosity about other women asserted itself in the mayor’s wife. She drew the landlady aside, and whispered a question to her on the spot.
While the band played, the children danced, the chatter of many people grew louder, and the strong young nurses of the future patients knitted away, the mayor's wife felt an insatiable curiosity about other women. She pulled the landlady aside and whispered a question to her right then and there.
“A word more, ma’am,” said the mayor’s wife, “about the two strangers from England. Are their letters explicit? Have they got any ladies with them?”
“A word more, ma’am,” said the mayor’s wife, “about the two strangers from England. Are their letters clear? Do they have any ladies with them?”
“The one by the diligence—no,” replied the landlady. “But the one by the private carriage—yes. He comes with a child; he comes with a nurse; and,” concluded the landlady, skillfully keeping the main point of interest till the last, “he comes with a Wife.”
“The one by the diligence—no,” replied the landlady. “But the one by the private carriage—yes. He comes with a child; he comes with a nurse; and,” concluded the landlady, skillfully keeping the main point of interest till the last, “he comes with a wife.”
The mayoress brightened; the doctoress (assisting at the conference) brightened; the landlady nodded significantly. In the minds of all three the same thought started into life at the same moment—“We shall see the Fashions!”
The mayoress perked up; the female doctor (helping out at the conference) perked up; the landlady nodded knowingly. In all three of their minds, the same thought sparked to life at the same moment—“We’re going to see the Fashions!”
In a minute more, there was a sudden movement in the crowd; and a chorus of voices proclaimed that the travelers were at hand.
In a minute, there was a sudden stir in the crowd, and a chorus of voices announced that the travelers had arrived.
By this time the coming vehicle was in sight, and all further doubt was at an end. It was the diligence that now approached by the long street leading into the square—the diligence (in a dazzling new coat of yellow paint) that delivered the first visitors of the season at the inn door. Of the ten travelers released from the middle compartment and the back compartment of the carriage—all from various parts of Germany—three were lifted out helpless, and were placed in the chairs on wheels to be drawn to their lodgings in the town. The front compartment contained two passengers only—Mr. Neal and his traveling servant. With an arm on either side to assist him, the stranger (whose malady appeared to be locally confined to a lameness in one of his feet) succeeded in descending the steps of the carriage easily enough. While he steadied himself on the pavement by the help of his stick—looking not over-patiently toward the musicians who were serenading him with the waltz in “Der Freischutz”—his personal appearance rather damped the enthusiasm of the friendly little circle assembled to welcome him. He was a lean, tall, serious, middle-aged man, with a cold gray eye and a long upper lip, with overhanging eyebrows and high cheek-bones; a man who looked what he was—every inch a Scotchman.
By this time, the approaching vehicle was visible, and any lingering doubts were gone. It was the stagecoach, now coming down the long street into the square—the stagecoach (in a bright new coat of yellow paint) that brought the first visitors of the season to the inn. From the middle and back compartments of the carriage, ten travelers were released—all from different parts of Germany. Three of them were helped out, unable to walk, and were placed in wheeled chairs to be taken to their lodgings in town. The front compartment had only two passengers—Mr. Neal and his traveling servant. With a hand on either side for support, the stranger (who seemed to be limping due to an issue with one of his feet) managed to climb down from the carriage without much trouble. As he steadied himself on the pavement with his cane—glancing rather impatiently at the musicians serenading him with the waltz from “Der Freischutz”—his appearance somewhat dampened the enthusiasm of the small, friendly group gathered to greet him. He was a tall, thin, serious middle-aged man, with a cold gray eye and a long upper lip, prominent eyebrows, and high cheekbones; a man who clearly looked like what he was—every bit a Scotsman.
“Where is the proprietor of this hotel?” he asked, speaking in the German language, with a fluent readiness of expression, and an icy coldness of manner. “Fetch the doctor,” he continued, when the landlord had presented himself, “I want to see him immediately.”
“Where is the owner of this hotel?” he asked, speaking in German, with a fluent command and a chill demeanor. “Get the doctor,” he added, when the landlord had arrived, “I need to see him right away.”
“I am here already, sir,” said the doctor, advancing from the circle of friends, “and my services are entirely at your disposal.”
“I’m here already, sir,” said the doctor, stepping away from the group of friends, “and my services are completely at your disposal.”
“Thank you,” said Mr. Neal, looking at the doctor, as the rest of us look at a dog when we have whistled and the dog has come. “I shall be glad to consult you to-morrow morning, at ten o’clock, about my own case. I only want to trouble you now with a message which I have undertaken to deliver. We overtook a traveling carriage on the road here with a gentleman in it—an Englishman, I believe—who appeared to be seriously ill. A lady who was with him begged me to see you immediately on my arrival, and to secure your professional assistance in removing the patient from the carriage. Their courier has met with an accident, and has been left behind on the road, and they are obliged to travel very slowly. If you are here in an hour, you will be here in time to receive them. That is the message. Who is this gentleman who appears to be anxious to speak to me? The mayor? If you wish to see my passport, sir, my servant will show it to you. No? You wish to welcome me to the place, and to offer your services? I am infinitely flattered. If you have any authority to shorten the performances of your town band, you would be doing me a kindness to exert it. My nerves are irritable, and I dislike music. Where is the landlord? No; I want to see my rooms. I don’t want your arm; I can get upstairs with the help of my stick. Mr. Mayor and Mr. Doctor, we need not detain one another any longer. I wish you good-night.”
“Thank you,” Mr. Neal said, looking at the doctor like we look at a dog when we've whistled for it to come. “I’d be happy to consult you tomorrow morning at ten about my own case. Right now, I just want to give you a message that I've promised to deliver. We passed a traveling carriage on the way here with a gentleman inside—an Englishman, I think—who seemed pretty sick. A lady with him asked me to see you as soon as I arrived and to get your help in moving the patient from the carriage. Their courier had an accident and was left behind, so they have to travel really slowly. If you come in an hour, you’ll have time to see them. That’s the message. Who is this gentleman who seems eager to talk to me? The mayor? If you want to see my passport, sir, my servant can show it to you. No? You just want to welcome me and offer your services? I'm truly flattered. If you have the power to shorten the performances of your town band, I’d appreciate it if you could use it. My nerves are on edge, and I’m not a fan of music. Where’s the landlord? No; I want to check out my rooms. I don’t need your arm; I can manage to get upstairs with my cane. Mr. Mayor and Mr. Doctor, we shouldn’t hold each other up any longer. Good night.”
Both mayor and doctor looked after the Scotchman as he limped upstairs, and shook their heads together in mute disapproval of him. The ladies, as usual, went a step further, and expressed their opinions openly in the plainest words. The case under consideration (so far as they were concerned) was the scandalous case of a man who had passed them over entirely without notice. Mrs. Mayor could only attribute such an outrage to the native ferocity of a savage. Mrs. Doctor took a stronger view still, and considered it as proceeding from the inbred brutality of a hog.
Both the mayor and the doctor watched the Scotsman as he limped upstairs, shaking their heads in silent disapproval of him. The ladies, as usual, went a step further and voiced their opinions clearly and bluntly. The situation they were discussing (as far as they were concerned) was the outrageous behavior of a man who had completely ignored them. Mrs. Mayor could only explain such an offense as the natural savagery of a wild person. Mrs. Doctor had an even harsher perspective, viewing it as a result of the inherent brutality of a pig.
The hour of waiting for the traveling-carriage wore on, and the creeping night stole up the hillsides softly. One by one the stars appeared, and the first lights twinkled in the windows of the inn. As the darkness came, the last idlers deserted the square; as the darkness came, the mighty silence of the forest above flowed in on the valley, and strangely and suddenly hushed the lonely little town.
The hour of waiting for the carriage stretched on, and the night quietly crept up the hills. One by one, the stars came out, and the first lights flickered in the inn’s windows. As darkness fell, the last leisurely folks left the square; with the darkness, the deep silence of the forest above seeped into the valley, strangely and suddenly quieting the little town.
The hour of waiting wore out, and the figure of the doctor, walking backward and forward anxiously, was still the only living figure left in the square. Five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes, were counted out by the doctor’s watch, before the first sound came through the night silence to warn him of the approaching carriage. Slowly it emerged into the square, at the walking pace of the horses, and drew up, as a hearse might have drawn up, at the door of the inn.
The hour of waiting dragged on, and the doctor, pacing back and forth nervously, was still the only person in the square. Five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes ticked by on the doctor’s watch before the first sound broke the night’s silence to signal the approaching carriage. Slowly, it appeared in the square, moving at the horses' walking pace, and came to a stop at the inn's door, just like a hearse might have.
“Is the doctor here?” asked a woman’s voice, speaking, out of the darkness of the carriage, in the French language.
“Is the doctor here?” asked a woman’s voice, coming from the darkness of the carriage, in French.
“I am here, madam,” replied the doctor, taking a light from the landlord’s hand and opening the carriage door.
“I’m here, ma’am,” replied the doctor, taking a light from the landlord’s hand and opening the carriage door.
The first face that the light fell on was the face of the lady who had just spoken—a young, darkly beautiful woman, with the tears standing thick and bright in her eager black eyes. The second face revealed was the face of a shriveled old negress, sitting opposite the lady on the back seat. The third was the face of a little sleeping child in the negress’s lap. With a quick gesture of impatience, the lady signed to the nurse to leave the carriage first with the child. “Pray take them out of the way,” she said to the landlady; “pray take them to their room.” She got out herself when her request had been complied with. Then the light fell clear for the first time on the further side of the carriage, and the fourth traveler was disclosed to view.
The first face that the light hit was that of the woman who just spoke—a young, darkly beautiful woman, with tears bright and heavy in her eager black eyes. The second face revealed was that of an old, wrinkled Black woman, sitting across from the lady on the back seat. The third was the face of a small sleeping child in the Black woman's lap. With a quick gesture of impatience, the lady signaled to the nurse to leave the carriage first with the child. “Please take them out of the way,” she said to the landlady; “please take them to their room.” She got out herself once her request was fulfilled. Then the light finally shone clearly on the other side of the carriage, revealing the fourth traveler.
He lay helpless on a mattress, supported by a stretcher; his hair, long and disordered, under a black skull-cap; his eyes wide open, rolling to and fro ceaselessly anxious; the rest of his face as void of all expression of the character within him, and the thought within him, as if he had been dead. There was no looking at him now, and guessing what he might once have been. The leaden blank of his face met every question as to his age, his rank, his temper, and his looks which that face might once have answered, in impenetrable silence. Nothing spoke for him now but the shock that had struck him with the death-in-life of paralysis. The doctor’s eye questioned his lower limbs, and Death-in-Life answered, I am here. The doctor’s eye, rising attentively by way of his hands and arms, questioned upward and upward to the muscles round his mouth, and Death-in-Life answered, I am coming.
He lay helpless on a mattress, supported by a stretcher; his long, unkempt hair was covered by a black skull cap; his eyes were wide open, anxiously rolling back and forth; the rest of his face showed no expression of the person he once was, as if he were dead. There was no way to look at him now and guess who he might have been. The blankness of his face met every question about his age, his status, his temperament, and what he might have looked like, with impenetrable silence. Nothing spoke for him now except the shock that had paralyzed him into a death-in-life state. The doctor’s gaze examined his lower limbs, and Death-in-Life replied, I am here. The doctor’s gaze moved upward, through his hands and arms, questioning the muscles around his mouth, and Death-in-Life responded, I am coming.
In the face of a calamity so unsparing and so dreadful, there was nothing to be said. The silent sympathy of help was all that could be offered to the woman who stood weeping at the carriage door.
In the presence of such a harsh and terrible disaster, there was nothing to say. The unspoken support of assistance was the only thing that could be given to the woman who was crying at the carriage door.
As they bore him on his bed across the hall of the hotel, his wandering eyes encountered the face of his wife. They rested on her for a moment, and in that moment he spoke.
As they carried him on his bed down the hall of the hotel, his unfocused eyes met the face of his wife. They lingered on her for a moment, and in that instant, he spoke.
“The child?” he said in English, with a slow, thick, laboring articulation.
“The child?” he said in English, with a slow, heavy, struggling way of speaking.
“The child is safe upstairs,” she answered, faintly.
“The kid is safe upstairs,” she replied softly.
“My desk?”
"My workstation?"
“It is in my hands. Look! I won’t trust it to anybody; I am taking care of it for you myself.”
“It’s in my hands. Look! I won’t trust it to anyone; I’m taking care of it for you myself.”
He closed his eyes for the first time after that answer, and said no more. Tenderly and skillfully he was carried up the stairs, with his wife on one side of him, and the doctor (ominously silent) on the other. The landlord and the servants following saw the door of his room open and close on him; heard the lady burst out crying hysterically as soon as she was alone with the doctor and the sick man; saw the doctor come out, half an hour later, with his ruddy face a shade paler than usual; pressed him eagerly for information, and received but one answer to all their inquiries—“Wait till I have seen him to-morrow. Ask me nothing to-night.” They all knew the doctor’s ways, and they augured ill when he left them hurriedly with that reply.
He closed his eyes for the first time after that answer and said nothing more. Gently and skillfully, he was carried up the stairs, with his wife on one side and the doctor (ominously silent) on the other. The landlord and the servants who followed saw the door of his room open and close behind him; heard the lady start crying hysterically as soon as she was alone with the doctor and the sick man; watched the doctor come out half an hour later, his usually rosy face a bit paler than normal; pressed him eagerly for information, and got only one answer to all their questions—“Wait till I see him tomorrow. Don’t ask me anything tonight.” They all knew the doctor’s habits and felt uneasy when he hurried past them with that reply.
So the two first English visitors of the year came to the Baths of Wildbad in the season of eighteen hundred and thirty-two.
So the first two English visitors of the year arrived at the Baths of Wildbad in the year 1832.
II. THE SOLID SIDE OF THE SCOTCH CHARACTER.
AT ten o’clock the next morning, Mr. Neal—waiting for the medical visit which he had himself appointed for that hour—looked at his watch, and discovered, to his amazement, that he was waiting in vain. It was close on eleven when the door opened at last, and the doctor entered the room.
AT ten o’clock the next morning, Mr. Neal—waiting for the medical visit he had scheduled for that hour—looked at his watch and was amazed to realize that he was waiting in vain. It was almost eleven when the door finally opened, and the doctor came into the room.
“I appointed ten o’clock for your visit,” said Mr. Neal. “In my country, a medical man is a punctual man.”
“I scheduled your visit for ten o’clock,” said Mr. Neal. “In my country, a doctor is someone who is always on time.”
“In my country,” returned the doctor, without the least ill-humor, “a medical man is exactly like other men—he is at the mercy of accidents. Pray grant me your pardon, sir, for being so long after my time; I have been detained by a very distressing case—the case of Mr. Armadale, whose traveling-carriage you passed on the road yesterday.”
“In my country,” replied the doctor, without any annoyance, “a medical professional is just like everyone else—he’s subject to unexpected events. Please forgive me for being late, sir; I was held up by a very troubling case—the case of Mr. Armadale, whose carriage you saw on the road yesterday.”
Mr. Neal looked at his medical attendant with a sour surprise. There was a latent anxiety in the doctor’s eye, a latent preoccupation in the doctor’s manner, which he was at a loss to account for. For a moment the two faces confronted each other silently, in marked national contrast—the Scotchman’s, long and lean, hard and regular; the German’s, plump and florid, soft and shapeless. One face looked as if it had never been young; the other, as if it would never grow old.
Mr. Neal stared at his doctor with a mix of surprise and irritation. There was a hidden worry in the doctor’s eyes and an underlying distraction in his demeanor that Neal couldn’t quite understand. For a brief moment, their faces faced one another in silence, highlighting their national differences—the Scotsman’s was long and lean, tough and angular; the German’s was round and rosy, soft and formless. One face seemed like it had never known youth; the other, as if it would never age.
“Might I venture to remind you,” said Mr. Neal, “that the case now under consideration is MY case, and not Mr. Armadale’s?”
“Might I remind you,” said Mr. Neal, “that the case we’re discussing is MY case, not Mr. Armadale’s?”
“Certainly,” replied the doctor, still vacillating between the case he had come to see and the case he had just left. “You appear to be suffering from lameness; let me look at your foot.”
“Sure,” replied the doctor, still wavering between the case he had come to see and the one he had just left. “You seem to be dealing with a limp; let me check your foot.”
Mr. Neal’s malady, however serious it might be in his own estimation, was of no extraordinary importance in a medical point of view. He was suffering from a rheumatic affection of the ankle-joint. The necessary questions were asked and answered and the necessary baths were prescribed. In ten minutes the consultation was at an end, and the patient was waiting in significant silence for the medical adviser to take his leave.
Mr. Neal’s illness, no matter how serious he thought it was, wasn’t particularly important from a medical standpoint. He had a rheumatic issue with his ankle joint. The required questions were asked and answered, and the needed treatments were recommended. In ten minutes, the consultation was over, and the patient waited silently for the doctor to finish up.
“I cannot conceal from myself,” said the doctor, rising, and hesitating a little, “that I am intruding on you. But I am compelled to beg your indulgence if I return to the subject of Mr. Armadale.”
“I can’t hide from myself,” said the doctor, getting up and pausing for a moment, “that I’m intruding on you. But I must ask for your patience if I go back to the topic of Mr. Armadale.”
“May I ask what compels you?”
“Can I ask what drives you?”
“The duty which I owe as a Christian,” answered the doctor, “to a dying man.”
“The duty I have as a Christian,” the doctor replied, “to a dying man.”
Mr. Neal started. Those who touched his sense of religious duty touched the quickest sense in his nature.
Mr. Neal was taken aback. Those who appealed to his sense of religious duty struck the deepest chord in him.
“You have established your claim on my attention,” he said, gravely. “My time is yours.”
“You’ve captured my attention,” he said seriously. “My time is yours.”
“I will not abuse your kindness,” replied the doctor, resuming his chair. “I will be as short as I can. Mr. Armadale’s case is briefly this: He has passed the greater part of his life in the West Indies—a wild life, and a vicious life, by his own confession. Shortly after his marriage—now some three years since—the first symptoms of an approaching paralytic affection began to show themselves, and his medical advisers ordered him away to try the climate of Europe. Since leaving the West Indies he has lived principally in Italy, with no benefit to his health. From Italy, before the last seizure attacked him, he removed to Switzerland, and from Switzerland he has been sent to this place. So much I know from his doctor’s report; the rest I can tell you from my own personal experience. Mr. Armadale has been sent to Wildbad too late: he is virtually a dead man. The paralysis is fast spreading upward, and disease of the lower part of the spine has already taken place. He can still move his hands a little, but he can hold nothing in his fingers. He can still articulate, but he may wake speechless to-morrow or next day. If I give him a week more to live, I give him what I honestly believe to be the utmost length of his span. At his own request I told him, as carefully and as tenderly as I could, what I have just told you. The result was very distressing; the violence of the patient’s agitation was a violence which I despair of describing to you. I took the liberty of asking him whether his affairs were unsettled. Nothing of the sort. His will is in the hands of his executor in London, and he leaves his wife and child well provided for. My next question succeeded better; it hit the mark: ‘Have you something on your mind to do before you die which is not done yet?’ He gave a great gasp of relief, which said, as no words could have said it, Yes. ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Yes. I have something to write that I must write; can you make me hold a pen?’
“I won’t take advantage of your kindness,” the doctor replied as he sat back down. “I’ll keep this brief. Mr. Armadale’s situation is as follows: He has spent most of his life in the West Indies—a reckless and immoral life, by his own admission. Shortly after he got married—about three years ago—the first signs of a potential stroke started to appear, and his doctors advised him to travel to Europe for a change of climate. Since leaving the West Indies, he has mostly lived in Italy, but his health hasn’t improved. Before the last stroke hit him, he moved from Italy to Switzerland, and from there he was sent to this place. That’s what I know from his doctor’s report; the rest comes from my own experience. Mr. Armadale has come to Wildbad too late: he is essentially a dead man. The paralysis is quickly moving upward, and he’s already developed disease in the lower part of his spine. He can still move his hands a bit, but he can’t grip anything. He can still speak, but he might wake up speechless tomorrow or the next day. If I give him another week to live, I believe that’s the absolute maximum. At his request, I told him, as gently and carefully as I could, what I just shared with you. The reaction was extremely distressing; the intensity of his agitation was beyond what I can describe. I took the liberty of asking if his affairs were in order. They’re not. His will is with his executor in London, and he’s left his wife and child well taken care of. My next question was more successful; it struck a chord: ‘Do you have something you need to do before you die that isn’t finished yet?’ He gasped in relief, which communicated, without words, Yes. ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Yes. I have something to write that I must write; can you help me hold a pen?’”
“He might as well have asked me if I could perform a miracle. I could only say No. ‘If I dictate the words,’ he went on, ‘can you write what I tell you to write?’ Once more I could only say No I understand a little English, but I can neither speak it nor write it. Mr. Armadale understands French when it is spoken (as I speak it to him) slowly, but he cannot express himself in that language; and of German he is totally ignorant. In this difficulty, I said, what any one else in my situation would have said: ‘Why ask me? there is Mrs. Armadale at your service in the next room.’ Before I could get up from my chair to fetch her, he stopped me—not by words, but by a look of horror which fixed me, by main force of astonishment, in my place. ‘Surely,’ I said, ‘your wife is the fittest person to write for you as you desire?’ ‘The last person under heaven!’ he answered. ‘What!’ I said, ‘you ask me, a foreigner and a stranger, to write words at your dictation which you keep a secret from your wife!’ Conceive my astonishment when he answered me, without a moment’s hesitation, ‘Yes!’ I sat lost; I sat silent. ‘If you can’t write English,’ he said, ‘find somebody who can.’ I tried to remonstrate. He burst into a dreadful moaning cry—a dumb entreaty, like the entreaty of a dog. ‘Hush! hush!’ I said, ‘I will find somebody.’ ‘To-day!’ he broke out, ‘before my speech fails me, like my hand.’ ‘To-day, in an hour’s time.’ He shut his eyes; he quieted himself instantly. ‘While I am waiting for you,’ he said, ‘let me see my little boy.’ He had shown no tenderness when he spoke of his wife, but I saw the tears on his cheeks when he asked for his child. My profession, sir, has not made me so hard a man as you might think; and my doctor’s heart was as heavy, when I went out to fetch the child, as if I had not been a doctor at all. I am afraid you think this rather weak on my part?”
“He might as well have asked me if I could work a miracle. All I could say was No. ‘If I dictate the words,’ he continued, ‘can you write what I tell you to write?’ Again, all I could say was No. I understand a little English, but I can neither speak it nor write it. Mr. Armadale understands French when I speak it to him slowly, but he can’t express himself in that language, and he knows nothing of German. In this tricky situation, I said what anyone else would say: ‘Why ask me? There’s Mrs. Armadale ready to help in the next room.’ Before I could get up to get her, he stopped me—not with words, but with a look of horror that froze me in my seat from shock. ‘Surely,’ I said, ‘your wife is the best person to write for you as you want?’ ‘The last person on earth!’ he replied. ‘What!’ I said, ‘you’re asking me, a foreigner and a stranger, to write words at your dictation that you’re keeping secret from your wife!’ Imagine my astonishment when he answered me, without a moment’s pause, ‘Yes!’ I sat there, stunned; I sat there silent. ‘If you can’t write English,’ he said, ‘find somebody who can.’ I tried to object. He broke into a terrible moan—a silent plea, like a dog begging. ‘Hush! hush!’ I said, ‘I’ll find someone.’ ‘Today!’ he exclaimed, ‘before my speech fails me, just like my hand.’ ‘Today, in an hour’s time.’ He shut his eyes; he calmed himself immediately. ‘While I’m waiting for you,’ he said, ‘let me see my little boy.’ He hadn’t shown any tenderness when he talked about his wife, but I saw the tears on his cheeks when he asked for his child. My profession, sir, hasn’t made me as hard a man as you might think; and my doctor’s heart was as heavy when I went out to fetch the child as if I hadn’t been a doctor at all. I’m afraid you think this is rather weak on my part?”
The doctor looked appealingly at Mr. Neal. He might as well have looked at a rock in the Black Forest. Mr. Neal entirely declined to be drawn by any doctor in Christendom out of the regions of plain fact.
The doctor looked hopefully at Mr. Neal. He might as well have been staring at a rock in the Black Forest. Mr. Neal completely refused to let any doctor in Christendom pull him away from the realms of plain fact.
“Go on,” he said. “I presume you have not told me all that you have to tell me, yet?”
“Go ahead,” he said. “I assume you haven't shared everything you need to tell me, have you?”
“Surely you understand my object in coming here, now?” returned the other.
“Surely you understand why I came here, right?” replied the other.
“Your object is plain enough, at last. You invite me to connect myself blindfold with a matter which is in the last degree suspicious, so far. I decline giving you any answer until I know more than I know now. Did you think it necessary to inform this man’s wife of what had passed between you, and to ask her for an explanation?”
“Your goal is clear now. You want me to get involved blindly with something that seems very suspicious. I won't give you any answer until I know more than I do right now. Did you think it was important to tell this man's wife what happened between you and to ask her for an explanation?”
“Of course I thought it necessary!” said the doctor, indignant at the reflection on his humanity which the question seemed to imply. “If ever I saw a woman fond of her husband, and sorry for her husband, it is this unhappy Mrs. Armadale. As soon as we were left alone together, I sat down by her side, and I took her hand in mine. Why not? I am an ugly old man, and I may allow myself such liberties as these!”
“Of course I thought it was necessary!” said the doctor, angry at the implication about his humanity that the question seemed to suggest. “If I ever saw a woman who loved her husband and felt sorry for him, it’s this poor Mrs. Armadale. As soon as we were left alone together, I sat down next to her, and I took her hand in mine. Why not? I’m an ugly old man, and I can allow myself these kinds of liberties!”
“Excuse me,” said the impenetrable Scotchman. “I beg to suggest that you are losing the thread of the narrative.”
“Excuse me,” said the unyielding Scotsman. “I just want to point out that you’re losing the thread of the story.”
“Nothing more likely,” returned the doctor, recovering his good humor. “It is in the habit of my nation to be perpetually losing the thread; and it is evidently in the habit of yours, sir, to be perpetually finding it. What an example here of the order of the universe, and the everlasting fitness of things!”
“Nothing more likely,” replied the doctor, getting back his good mood. “My people tend to constantly lose the thread, while yours, sir, clearly has a knack for finding it all the time. What a perfect illustration of the universe's order and the timeless appropriateness of things!”
“Will you oblige me, once for all, by confining yourself to the facts,” persisted Mr. Neal, frowning impatiently. “May I inquire, for my own information, whether Mrs. Armadale could tell you what it is her husband wishes me to write, and why it is that he refuses to let her write for him?”
“Will you do me a favor and just stick to the facts?” Mr. Neal insisted, frowning with impatience. “Can I ask, for my own understanding, if Mrs. Armadale knows what her husband wants me to write and why he won’t let her write for him?”
“There is my thread found—and thank you for finding it!” said the doctor. “You shall hear what Mrs. Armadale had to tell me, in Mrs. Armadale’s own words. ‘The cause that now shuts me out of his confidence,’ she said, ‘is, I firmly believe, the same cause that has always shut me out of his heart. I am the wife he has wedded, but I am not the woman he loves. I knew when he married me that another man had won from him the woman he loved. I thought I could make him forget her. I hoped when I married him; I hoped again when I bore him a son. Need I tell you the end of my hopes—you have seen it for yourself.’ (Wait, sir, I entreat you! I have not lost the thread again; I am following it inch by inch.) ‘Is this all you know?’ I asked. ‘All I knew,’ she said, ‘till a short time since. It was when we were in Switzerland, and when his illness was nearly at its worst, that news came to him by accident of that other woman who has been the shadow and the poison of my life—news that she (like me) had borne her husband a son. On the instant of his making that discovery—a trifling discovery, if ever there was one yet—a mortal fear seized on him: not for me, not for himself; a fear for his own child. The same day (without a word to me) he sent for the doctor. I was mean, wicked, what you please—I listened at the door. I heard him say: I have something to tell my son, when my son grows old enough to understand me. Shall I live to tell it? The doctor would say nothing certain. The same night (still without a word to me) he locked himself into his room. What would any woman, treated as I was, have done in my place? She would have done as I did—she would have listened again. I heard him say to himself: I shall not live to tell it: I must; write it before I die. I heard his pen scrape, scrape, scrape over the paper; I heard him groaning and sobbing as he wrote; I implored him for God’s sake to let me in. The cruel pen went scrape, scrape, scrape; the cruel pen was all the answer he gave me. I waited at the door—hours—I don’t know how long. On a sudden, the pen stopped; and I heard no more. I whispered through the keyhole softly; I said I was cold and weary with waiting; I said, Oh, my love, let me in! Not even the cruel pen answered me now: silence answered me. With all the strength of my miserable hands I beat at the door. The servants came up and broke it in. We were too late; the harm was done. Over that fatal letter, the stroke had struck him—over that fatal letter, we found him paralyzed as you see him now. Those words which he wants you to write are the words he would have written himself if the stroke had spared him till the morning. From that time to this there has been a blank place left in the letter; and it is that blank place which he has just asked you to fill up.’—In those words Mrs. Armadale spoke to me; in those words you have the sum and substance of all the information I can give. Say, if you please, sir, have I kept the thread at last? Have I shown you the necessity which brings me here from your countryman’s death-bed?”
“There's the thread I found—and thank you for finding it!” said the doctor. “You’ll hear what Mrs. Armadale had to say in her own words. ‘The reason I’m shut out from his trust now,’ she said, ‘is, I truly believe, the same reason that has always kept me out of his heart. I am the wife he has married, but I am not the woman he loves. I knew when he married me that another man had taken the woman he loved from him. I thought I could make him forget her. I hoped when I married him; I hoped again when I had his son. Do I need to tell you how my hopes ended—you’ve seen it for yourself.’ (Wait, sir, please! I haven’t lost the thread again; I’m following it inch by inch.) ‘Is that all you know?’ I asked. ‘All I knew,’ she said, ‘until recently. It was when we were in Switzerland, and his illness was at its worst, that he accidentally heard news about that other woman who has been the shadow and poison of my life—news that she (like me) had given her husband a son. The moment he discovered that—a trivial discovery, if ever there was one—a deep fear gripped him: not for me, not for himself; a fear for his own child. That same day (without saying a word to me) he called for the doctor. I was mean, wicked, whatever you want to call it—I listened at the door. I heard him say: I have something to tell my son, when my son grows old enough to understand me. Shall I live to tell it? The doctor wouldn’t say anything certain. That same night (still without saying a word to me) he locked himself in his room. What would any woman, treated like I was, have done in my place? She would have done what I did—she would have listened again. I heard him say to himself: I shall not live to tell it: I must; write it before I die. I heard his pen scrape, scrape, scrape over the paper; I heard him groaning and sobbing as he wrote; I begged him for God’s sake to let me in. The cruel pen went scrape, scrape, scrape; the cruel pen was the only answer he gave me. I waited at the door—hours—I don’t know how long. Suddenly, the pen stopped; and I heard nothing more. I whispered through the keyhole softly; I said I was cold and tired from waiting; I said, Oh, my love, let me in! Not even the cruel pen answered me now: silence answered me. With all the strength of my miserable hands, I beat on the door. The servants came up and broke it down. We were too late; the damage was done. Over that fatal letter, the stroke had struck him—over that fatal letter, we found him paralyzed, as you see him now. Those words he wants you to write are the words he would have written himself if the stroke had spared him until morning. From that time until now, a blank space has been left in the letter; and it is that blank space which he just asked you to fill in.’—In those words Mrs. Armadale spoke to me; in those words, you have the core of all the information I can give. So, please tell me, sir, have I finally kept the thread? Have I shown you the necessity that brought me here from your countryman’s deathbed?”
“Thus far,” said Mr. Neal, “you merely show me that you are exciting yourself. This is too serious a matter to be treated as you are treating it now. You have involved me in the business, and I insist on seeing my way plainly. Don’t raise your hands; your hands are not a part of the question. If I am to be concerned in the completion of this mysterious letter, it is only an act of justifiable prudence on my part to inquire what the letter is about. Mrs. Armadale appears to have favored you with an infinite number of domestic particulars—in return, I presume, for your polite attention in taking her by the hand. May I ask what she could tell you about her husband’s letter, so far as her husband has written it?”
“Up until now,” Mr. Neal said, “you’re just getting yourself worked up. This is too serious to be handled the way you’re handling it. You’ve dragged me into this, and I need to see things clearly. Don’t raise your hands; they’re not the issue here. If I’m to be involved in figuring out this mysterious letter, it’s only sensible for me to ask what it’s about. Mrs. Armadale seems to have shared a lot of personal details with you—in exchange, I assume, for your courtesy in taking her hand. Can I ask what she told you about her husband’s letter, as far as he’s written it?”
“Mrs. Armadale could tell me nothing,” replied the doctor, with a sudden formality in his manner, which showed that his forbearance was at last failing him. “Before she was composed enough to think of the letter, her husband had asked for it, and had caused it to be locked up in his desk. She knows that he has since, time after time, tried to finish it, and that, time after time, the pen has dropped from his fingers. She knows, when all other hope of his restoration was at an end, that his medical advisers encouraged him to hope in the famous waters of this place. And last, she knows how that hope has ended; for she knows what I told her husband this morning.”
“Mrs. Armadale couldn’t tell me anything,” the doctor replied, suddenly formal in a way that showed his patience was finally wearing thin. “Before she was calm enough to think about the letter, her husband had asked for it and locked it away in his desk. She knows that he has tried to finish it repeatedly, and each time the pen has slipped from his fingers. She knows that when all other hopes for his recovery were gone, his doctors encouraged him to have faith in the famous waters of this place. And finally, she knows how that hope turned out; she knows what I told her husband this morning.”
The frown which had been gathering latterly on Mr. Neal’s face deepened and darkened. He looked at the doctor as if the doctor had personally offended him.
The frown that had been forming lately on Mr. Neal’s face deepened and grew more intense. He looked at the doctor as if the doctor had personally insulted him.
“The more I think of the position you are asking me to take,” he said, “the less I like it. Can you undertake to say positively that Mr. Armadale is in his right mind?”
“The more I think about the position you want me to take,” he said, “the less I like it. Can you confidently say that Mr. Armadale is completely sane?”
“Yes; as positively as words can say it.”
“Yes; as clearly as words can express it.”
“Does his wife sanction your coming here to request my interference?”
“Does his wife approve of you coming here to ask for my help?”
“His wife sends me to you—the only Englishman in Wildbad—to write for your dying countryman what he cannot write for himself; and what no one else in this place but you can write for him.”
“His wife sent me to you—the only Englishman in Wildbad—to write for your dying countryman what he can’t write for himself; and what no one else here but you can write for him.”
That answer drove Mr. Neal back to the last inch of ground left him to stand on. Even on that inch the Scotchman resisted still.
That answer pushed Mr. Neal back to the last bit of ground he had left to stand on. Even on that bit, the Scotsman still resisted.
“Wait a little!” he said. “You put it strongly; let us be quite sure you put it correctly as well. Let us be quite sure there is nobody to take this responsibility but myself. There is a mayor in Wildbad, to begin with—a man who possesses an official character to justify his interference.”
“Hold on a second!” he said. “You’re making a bold statement; let’s make sure you’re stating it accurately too. Let’s be clear that there’s no one else responsible for this except me. There’s a mayor in Wildbad, for starters—a person with an official position that legitimizes his involvement.”
“A man of a thousand,” said the doctor. “With one fault—he knows no language but his own.”
“A man of a thousand,” said the doctor. “With one flaw—he speaks only his own language.”
“There is an English legation at Stuttgart,” persisted Mr. Neal.
“There’s an English embassy in Stuttgart,” Mr. Neal insisted.
“And there are miles on miles of the forest between this and Stuttgart,” rejoined the doctor. “If we sent this moment, we could get no help from the legation before to-morrow; and it is as likely as not, in the state of this dying man’s articulation, that to-morrow may find him speechless. I don’t know whether his last wishes are wishes harmless to his child and to others, wishes hurtful to his child and to others; but I do know that they must be fulfilled at once or never, and that you are the only man that can help him.”
“And there are miles and miles of forest between here and Stuttgart,” the doctor replied. “If we send for help now, we won’t hear back from the legation until tomorrow; and given how poorly this dying man can speak, there’s a good chance he’ll be speechless by then. I can’t say whether his last wishes are harmless for his child and others, or if they could cause harm; but I do know that they need to be fulfilled immediately or not at all, and you’re the only person who can help him.”
That open declaration brought the discussion to a close. It fixed Mr. Neal fast between the two alternatives of saying Yes, and committing an act of imprudence, or of saying No, and committing an act of inhumanity. There was a silence of some minutes. The Scotchman steadily reflected; and the German steadily watched him.
That open statement ended the conversation. It left Mr. Neal stuck between two choices: saying Yes, which would be reckless, or saying No, which would be cruel. There was a silence that lasted for a few minutes. The Scotsman thought deeply, while the German kept a close eye on him.
The responsibility of saying the next words rested on Mr. Neal, and in course of time Mr. Neal took it. He rose from his chair with a sullen sense of injury lowering on his heavy eyebrows, and working sourly in the lines at the corners of his mouth.
The responsibility of saying the next words fell on Mr. Neal, and eventually, he took it. He got up from his chair with a gloomy sense of offense shadowing his heavy eyebrows, and his mouth tightened with displeasure.
“My position is forced on me,” he said. “I have no choice but to accept it.”
“My position is thrust upon me,” he said. “I have no choice but to accept it.”
The doctor’s impulsive nature rose in revolt against the merciless brevity and gracelessness of that reply. “I wish to God,” he broke out fervently, “I knew English enough to take your place at Mr. Armadale’s bedside!”
The doctor's impulsive nature reacted strongly against the harsh shortness and awkwardness of that reply. “I wish to God,” he exclaimed passionately, “that I knew enough English to take your place at Mr. Armadale’s bedside!”
“Bating your taking the name of the Almighty in vain,” answered the Scotchman, “I entirely agree with you. I wish you did.”
“Besides your taking the name of the Almighty in vain,” replied the Scotchman, “I completely agree with you. I wish you did.”
Without another word on either side, they left the room together—the doctor leading the way.
Without saying anything else, they left the room together—the doctor taking the lead.
III. THE WRECK OF THE TIMBER SHIP.
NO one answered the doctor’s knock when he and his companion reached the antechamber door of Mr. Armadale’s apartments. They entered unannounced; and when they looked into the sitting-room, the sitting-room was empty.
NO one answered the doctor’s knock when he and his companion reached the antechamber door of Mr. Armadale’s apartments. They entered unannounced; and when they looked into the sitting room, it was empty.
“I must see Mrs. Armadale,” said Mr. Neal. “I decline acting in the matter unless Mrs. Armadale authorizes my interference with her own lips.”
“I need to see Mrs. Armadale,” said Mr. Neal. “I won’t get involved unless Mrs. Armadale gives me her permission in person.”
“Mrs. Armadale is probably with her husband,” replied the doctor. He approached a door at the inner end of the sitting-room while he spoke—hesitated—and, turning round again, looked at his sour companion anxiously. “I am afraid I spoke a little harshly, sir, when we were leaving your room,” he said. “I beg your pardon for it, with all my heart. Before this poor afflicted lady comes in, will you—will you excuse my asking your utmost gentleness and consideration for her?”
“Mrs. Armadale is probably with her husband,” the doctor replied. He walked over to a door at the far end of the sitting room while he spoke—hesitated—and then turned back, looking at his grim companion with concern. “I’m afraid I may have spoken a bit harshly, sir, when we were leaving your room,” he said. “I truly apologize for that. Before this poor troubled lady arrives, could you—would you mind showing her your utmost kindness and understanding?”
“No, sir,” retorted the other harshly; “I won’t excuse you. What right have I given you to think me wanting in gentleness and consideration toward anybody?”
“No, sir,” the other shot back sharply; “I won’t excuse you. What right have I given you to think I lack kindness and consideration for anyone?”
The doctor saw it was useless. “I beg your pardon again,” he said, resignedly, and left the unapproachable stranger to himself.
The doctor realized it was pointless. “I’m sorry once more,” he said, giving up, and left the distant stranger alone.
Mr. Neal walked to the window, and stood there, with his eyes mechanically fixed on the prospect, composing his mind for the coming interview.
Mr. Neal walked over to the window and stood there, his eyes blankly focused on the view, preparing his mind for the upcoming meeting.
It was midday; the sun shone bright and warm; and all the little world of Wildbad was alive and merry in the genial springtime. Now and again heavy wagons, with black-faced carters in charge, rolled by the window, bearing their precious lading of charcoal from the forest. Now and again, hurled over the headlong current of the stream that runs through the town, great lengths of timber, loosely strung together in interminable series—with the booted raftsmen, pole in hand, poised watchful at either end—shot swift and serpent-like past the houses on their course to the distant Rhine. High and steep above the gabled wooden buildings on the river-bank, the great hillsides, crested black with firs, shone to the shining heavens in a glory of lustrous green. In and out, where the forest foot-paths wound from the grass through the trees, from the trees over the grass, the bright spring dresses of women and children, on the search for wild flowers, traveled to and fro in the lofty distance like spots of moving light. Below, on the walk by the stream side, the booths of the little bazar that had opened punctually with the opening season showed all their glittering trinkets, and fluttered in the balmy air their splendor of many-colored flags. Longingly, here the children looked at the show; patiently the sunburned lasses plied their knitting as they paced the walk; courteously the passing townspeople, by fours and fives, and the passing visitors, by ones and twos, greeted each other, hat in hand; and slowly, slowly, the cripple and the helpless in their chairs on wheels came out in the cheerful noontide with the rest, and took their share of the blessed light that cheers, of the blessed sun that shines for all.
It was midday; the sun was shining bright and warm; and the small town of Wildbad was lively and cheerful in the beautiful springtime. Occasionally, heavy wagons, with drivers in charge, rolled past the window, delivering their valuable loads of charcoal from the forest. Now and then, great lengths of timber, loosely tied together in endless rows—guided by booted raftsmen, poles in hand, watching carefully at either end—glided swiftly and snake-like past the houses on their way to the distant Rhine. High above the gabled wooden buildings by the river, the steep hillsides, dark with fir trees, gleamed with a glorious shine of lush green. In and out, where the forest paths meandered from the grass through the trees, and from the trees over the grass, the bright spring outfits of women and children, searching for wildflowers, moved around in the distance like spots of dancing light. Down by the stream, the stalls of the little bazaar that had opened exactly with the season displayed all their shiny trinkets and waved their colorful flags in the gentle breeze. Children gazed longingly at the show; sun-kissed girls patiently knitted as they walked along; townspeople passing in groups of four or five, and visitors in pairs, greeted each other politely, hats in hand; and slowly, slowly, the disabled and the helpless in their wheelchairs joined the cheerful noon crowd, soaking up the blessed light that brings joy, and the blessed sun that shines for everyone.
On this scene the Scotchman looked, with eyes that never noted its beauty, with a mind far away from every lesson that it taught. One by one he meditated the words he should say when the wife came in. One by one he pondered over the conditions he might impose before he took the pen in hand at the husband’s bedside.
On this scene, the Scotsman looked, with eyes that didn’t appreciate its beauty, with a mind far away from every lesson it offered. One by one, he thought about the words he should say when his wife came in. One by one, he considered the conditions he might set before he picked up the pen at the husband’s bedside.
“Mrs. Armadale is here,” said the doctor’s voice, interposing suddenly between his reflections and himself.
“Mrs. Armadale is here,” the doctor said, cutting in suddenly between his thoughts and himself.
He turned on the instant, and saw before him, with the pure midday light shining full on her, a woman of the mixed blood of the European and the African race, with the Northern delicacy in the shape of her face, and the Southern richness in its color—a woman in the prime of her beauty, who moved with an inbred grace, who looked with an inbred fascination, whose large, languid black eyes rested on him gratefully, whose little dusky hand offered itself to him in mute expression of her thanks, with the welcome that is given to the coming of a friend. For the first time in his life the Scotchman was taken by surprise. Every self-preservative word that he had been meditating but an instant since dropped out of his memory. His thrice impenetrable armor of habitual suspicion, habitual self-discipline, and habitual reserve, which had never fallen from him in a woman’s presence before, fell from him in this woman’s presence, and brought him to his knees, a conquered man. He took the hand she offered him, and bowed over it his first honest homage to the sex, in silence.
He turned around instantly and saw a woman standing in the bright midday light. She was of mixed European and African descent, with the delicate features of the North and the rich skin tone of the South—a woman in the prime of her beauty. She moved with natural elegance and had an alluring look about her. Her large, lazy black eyes met his with gratitude, and her small, dark hand extended toward him in silent thanks, like a greeting from a friend. For the first time in his life, the Scotsman was caught off guard. All the self-protective words he had been preparing just moments before vanished from his mind. His usual defenses—his ingrained suspicion, strict self-control, and reserved demeanor, which he had always maintained around women—crumpled in her presence, leaving him vulnerable and humbled. He took the hand she offered and bowed over it, giving his first sincere respect to a woman, in silence.
She hesitated on her side. The quick feminine perception which, in happier circumstances, would have pounced on the secret of his embarrassment in an instant, failed her now. She attributed his strange reception of her to pride, to reluctance—to any cause but the unexpected revelation of her own beauty. “I have no words to thank you,” she said, faintly, trying to propitiate him. “I should only distress you if I tried to speak.” Her lip began to tremble, she drew back a little, and turned away her head in silence.
She hesitated on her side. The quick intuition that, under better circumstances, would have instantly picked up on his embarrassment, failed her now. She thought his unusual reaction to her was due to pride, reluctance—anything but the surprising realization of her own beauty. “I don’t have the words to thank you,” she said softly, trying to make him feel better. “I’d only upset you if I tried to talk.” Her lip started to tremble, she stepped back a bit, and turned her head away in silence.
The doctor, who had been standing apart, quietly observant in a corner, advanced before Mr. Neal could interfere, and led Mrs. Armadale to a chair. “Don’t be afraid of him,” whispered the good man, patting her gently on the shoulder. “He was hard as iron in my hands, but I think, by the look of him, he will be soft as wax in yours. Say the words I told you to say, and let us take him to your husband’s room, before those sharp wits of his have time to recover themselves.”
The doctor, who had been standing off to the side, quietly watching from a corner, stepped forward before Mr. Neal could step in and guided Mrs. Armadale to a chair. “Don’t worry about him,” the kind man whispered, giving her a gentle pat on the shoulder. “He was tough as nails with me, but I think, judging by how he looks, he’ll be as soft as butter with you. Just say the words I told you to say, and let’s get him to your husband’s room before his sharp mind has a chance to come back to itself.”
She roused her sinking resolution, and advanced half-way to the window to meet Mr. Neal. “My kind friend, the doctor, has told me, sir, that your only hesitation in coming here is a hesitation on my account,” she said, her head drooping a little, and her rich color fading away while she spoke. “I am deeply grateful, but I entreat you not to think of me. What my husband wishes—” Her voice faltered; she waited resolutely, and recovered herself. “What my husband wishes in his last moments, I wish too.”
She gathered her strength and walked halfway to the window to meet Mr. Neal. “My kind friend, the doctor, has told me that your only reason for hesitating to come here is because of me,” she said, her head lowering slightly, and her vibrant color fading as she spoke. “I am truly grateful, but I ask you not to worry about me. What my husband wants in his final moments, I want as well.”
This time Mr. Neal was composed enough to answer her. In low, earnest tones, he entreated her to say no more. “I was only anxious to show you every consideration,” he said. “I am only anxious now to spare you every distress.” As he spoke, something like a glow of color rose slowly on his sallow face. Her eyes were looking at him, softly attentive; and he thought guiltily of his meditations at the window before she came in.
This time, Mr. Neal was calm enough to reply to her. In quiet, sincere tones, he urged her to stop talking. “I just wanted to show you every courtesy,” he said. “Now, I just want to spare you any pain.” As he spoke, a hint of color slowly appeared on his pale face. Her eyes were on him, gently attentive, and he felt guilty about his thoughts at the window before she arrived.
The doctor saw his opportunity. He opened the door that led into Mr. Armadale’s room, and stood by it, waiting silently. Mrs. Armadale entered first. In a minute more the door was closed again; and Mr. Neal stood committed to the responsibility that had been forced on him—committed beyond recall.
The doctor saw his chance. He opened the door to Mr. Armadale’s room and stood by it, waiting quietly. Mrs. Armadale walked in first. In a moment, the door closed again, and Mr. Neal found himself stuck with a responsibility that had been thrust upon him—committed with no way out.
The room was decorated in the gaudy continental fashion, and the warm sunlight was shining in joyously. Cupids and flowers were painted on the ceiling; bright ribbons looped up the white window-curtains; a smart gilt clock ticked on a velvet-covered mantelpiece; mirrors gleamed on the walls, and flowers in all the colors of the rainbow speckled the carpet. In the midst of the finery, and the glitter, and the light, lay the paralyzed man, with his wandering eyes, and his lifeless lower face—his head propped high with many pillows; his helpless hands laid out over the bed-clothes like the hands of a corpse. By the bed head stood, grim, and old, and silent, the shriveled black nurse; and on the counter-pane, between his father’s outspread hands, lay the child, in his little white frock, absorbed in the enjoyment of a new toy. When the door opened, and Mrs. Armadale led the way in, the boy was tossing his plaything—a soldier on horseback—backward and forward over the helpless hands on either side of him; and the father’s wandering eyes were following the toy to and fro, with a stealthy and ceaseless vigilance—a vigilance as of a wild animal, terrible to see.
The room was decorated in a flashy continental style, and warm sunlight streamed in happily. Cupids and flowers were painted on the ceiling; bright ribbons twisted up the white curtains; a stylish gilt clock ticked on a velvet-covered mantel; mirrors shone on the walls, and flowers in every color of the rainbow dotted the carpet. In the middle of the splendor, the paralyzed man lay with his wandering eyes and lifeless lower face—his head propped up high with multiple pillows; his helpless hands were resting on the bedspread like a corpse's hands. By the head of the bed stood the old, silent, shriveled black nurse; and on the coverlet, between his father's outstretched hands, lay the child in his little white dress, absorbed in playing with a new toy. When the door opened and Mrs. Armadale walked in, the boy was tossing his toy—a soldier on horseback—back and forth over his father’s helpless hands; and the father's wandering eyes followed the toy back and forth with a stealthy and relentless attention—an attention that was animalistic and unsettling to witness.
The moment Mr. Neal appeared in the doorway, those restless eyes stopped, looked up, and fastened on the stranger with a fierce eagerness of inquiry. Slowly the motionless lips struggled into movement. With thick, hesitating articulation, they put the question which the eyes asked mutely, into words: “Are you the man?”
The moment Mr. Neal showed up in the doorway, those restless eyes halted, looked up, and locked onto the stranger with an intense eagerness to know. Gradually, the still lips began to move. With slow, hesitant speech, they voiced the question that the eyes silently asked: “Are you the man?”
Mr. Neal advanced to the bedside, Mrs. Armadale drawing back from it as he approached, and waiting with the doctor at the further end of the room. The child looked up, toy in hand, as the stranger came near, opened his bright brown eyes in momentary astonishment, and then went on with his game.
Mr. Neal walked over to the bedside, while Mrs. Armadale stepped back and waited with the doctor at the other end of the room. The child glanced up, toy in hand, as the stranger got closer, opened his bright brown eyes in brief surprise, and then resumed playing with his game.
“I have been made acquainted with your sad situation, sir,” said Mr. Neal; “and I have come here to place my services at your disposal—services which no one but myself, as your medical attendant informs me, is in a position to render you in this strange place. My name is Neal. I am a writer to the signet in Edinburgh; and I may presume to say for myself that any confidence you wish to place in me will be confidence not improperly bestowed.”
“I’ve heard about your unfortunate situation, sir,” Mr. Neal said; “and I’ve come here to offer my services—services that, as your doctor has informed me, only I can provide in this unfamiliar place. My name is Neal. I’m a writer to the signet in Edinburgh, and I can confidently say that any trust you want to place in me will not be misplaced.”
The eyes of the beautiful wife were not confusing him now. He spoke to the helpless husband quietly and seriously, without his customary harshness, and with a grave compassion in his manner which presented him at his best. The sight of the death-bed had steadied him.
The beautiful wife's eyes weren't confusing him anymore. He spoke to the helpless husband softly and seriously, without his usual harshness, and with a sincere compassion that showed him at his best. The sight of the deathbed had calmed him.
“You wish me to write something for you?” he resumed, after waiting for a reply, and waiting in vain.
“You want me to write something for you?” he continued, after pausing for a response, and waiting in vain.
“Yes!” said the dying man, with the all-mastering impatience which his tongue was powerless to express, glittering angrily in his eye. “My hand is gone, and my speech is going. Write!”
“Yes!” said the dying man, with an overwhelming impatience that his words couldn’t convey, a fierce glare in his eye. “My hand is gone, and my ability to speak is fading. Write!”
Before there was time to speak again, Mr. Neal heard the rustling of a woman’s dress, and the quick creaking of casters on the carpet behind him. Mrs. Armadale was moving the writing-table across the room to the foot of the bed. If he was to set up those safeguards of his own devising that were to bear him harmless through all results to come, now was the time, or never. He, kept his back turned on Mrs. Armadale, and put his precautionary question at once in the plainest terms.
Before there was a chance to speak again, Mr. Neal heard the rustling of a woman’s dress and the quick creaking of casters on the carpet behind him. Mrs. Armadale was moving the writing desk across the room to the foot of the bed. If he was going to set up those safeguards he had created to protect himself from any future consequences, now was the time, or never. He kept his back to Mrs. Armadale and asked his precautionary question directly and clearly.
“May I ask, sir, before I take the pen in hand, what it is you wish me to write?”
“Can I ask you, sir, before I start writing, what you want me to write?”
The angry eyes of the paralyzed man glittered brighter and brighter. His lips opened and closed again. He made no reply.
The furious eyes of the paralyzed man sparkled more and more. His lips moved up and down again. He didn’t say anything.
Mr. Neal tried another precautionary question, in a new direction.
Mr. Neal asked another precautionary question, but this time he went in a different direction.
“When I have written what you wish me to write,” he asked, “what is to be done with it?”
“When I’ve written what you want me to write,” he asked, “what should be done with it?”
This time the answer came:
This time the response arrived:
“Seal it up in my presence, and post it to my ex—”
“Seal it up in front of me, and send it to my ex—”
His laboring articulation suddenly stopped and he looked piteously in the questioner’s face for the next word.
His struggling speech suddenly halted, and he looked helplessly at the questioner, waiting for the next word.
“Do you mean your executor?”
“Are you talking about your executor?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“It is a letter, I suppose, that I am to post?” There was no answer. “May I ask if it is a letter altering your will?”
“It’s a letter, I guess, that I’m supposed to mail?” There was no response. “Can I ask if it’s a letter changing your will?”
“Nothing of the sort.”
“Not at all.”
Mr. Neal considered a little. The mystery was thickening. The one way out of it, so far, was the way traced faintly through that strange story of the unfinished letter which the doctor had repeated to him in Mrs. Armadale’s words. The nearer he approached his unknown responsibility, the more ominous it seemed of something serious to come. Should he risk another question before he pledged himself irrevocably? As the doubt crossed his mind, he felt Mrs. Armadale’s silk dress touch him on the side furthest from her husband. Her delicate dark hand was laid gently on his arm; her full deep African eyes looked at him in submissive entreaty. “My husband is very anxious,” she whispered. “Will you quiet his anxiety, sir, by taking your place at the writing-table?”
Mr. Neal thought for a moment. The mystery was growing more complicated. The only way out of it, so far, was the path outlined faintly in that strange story of the unfinished letter, which the doctor had repeated to him in Mrs. Armadale’s words. The closer he got to his unknown responsibility, the more it felt like something serious was about to happen. Should he risk asking another question before he committed himself completely? As the doubt raced through his mind, he felt Mrs. Armadale’s silk dress brush against him on the side away from her husband. Her delicate dark hand rested gently on his arm; her deep, expressive eyes looked at him with a pleading softness. “My husband is very anxious,” she whispered. “Will you ease his worry, sir, by sitting at the writing-table?”
It was from her lips that the request came—from the lips of the person who had the best right to hesitate, the wife who was excluded from the secret! Most men in Mr. Neal’s position would have given up all their safeguards on the spot. The Scotchman gave them all up but one.
It was from her lips that the request came—from the lips of the person who had the most reason to hesitate, the wife who was left out of the secret! Most men in Mr. Neal’s position would have immediately surrendered all their safeguards. The Scotchman gave up all but one.
“I will write what you wish me to write,” he said, addressing Mr. Armadale. “I will seal it in your presence; and I will post it to your executor myself. But, in engaging to do this, I must beg you to remember that I am acting entirely in the dark; and I must ask you to excuse me, if I reserve my own entire freedom of action, when your wishes in relation to the writing and the posting of the letter have been fulfilled.”
“I'll write what you want me to write,” he said, looking at Mr. Armadale. “I’ll seal it in front of you, and I’ll mail it to your executor myself. But as I agree to do this, I need you to keep in mind that I’m completely in the dark about everything; and I have to ask you to allow me to keep my full freedom to act after your requests regarding the writing and mailing of the letter have been taken care of.”
“Do you give me your promise?”
“Do you promise?”
“If you want my promise, sir, I will give it—subject to the condition I have just named.”
“If you want my promise, sir, I’ll give it—on the condition I just mentioned.”
“Take your condition, and keep your promise. My desk,” he added, looking at his wife for the first time.
“Take your condition and stick to your word. My desk,” he said, glancing at his wife for the first time.
She crossed the room eagerly to fetch the desk from a chair in a corner. Returning with it, she made a passing sign to the negress, who still stood, grim and silent, in the place that she had occupied from the first. The woman advanced, obedient to the sign, to take the child from the bed. At the instant when she touched him, the father’s eyes—fixed previously on the desk—turned on her with the stealthy quickness of a cat. “No!” he said. “No!” echoed the fresh voice of the boy, still charmed with his plaything, and still liking his place on the bed. The negress left the room, and the child, in high triumph, trotted his toy soldier up and down on the bedclothes that lay rumpled over his father’s breast. His mother’s lovely face contracted with a pang of jealousy as she looked at him.
She eagerly crossed the room to grab the desk from a chair in the corner. Returning with it, she briefly gestured to the Black woman, who remained grim and silent in her original spot. The woman moved forward, following the gesture, to take the child from the bed. The moment she touched him, the father’s eyes—previously fixed on the desk—quickly turned to her with the stealth of a cat. “No!” he said. “No!” echoed the young boy’s voice, still captivated by his toy and content to stay on the bed. The Black woman left the room, and the child, filled with joy, rolled his toy soldier back and forth on the rumpled bedcovers over his father’s chest. His mother’s beautiful face tightened with a pang of jealousy as she watched him.
“Shall I open your desk?” she asked, pushing back the child’s plaything sharply while she spoke. An answering look from her husband guided her hand to the place under his pillow where the key was hidden. She opened the desk, and disclosed inside some small sheets of manuscript pinned together. “These?” she inquired, producing them.
“Should I open your desk?” she asked, pushing the child’s toy out of the way as she spoke. A look from her husband directed her hand to the spot under his pillow where the key was hidden. She opened the desk and revealed some small sheets of manuscript pinned together inside. “These?” she asked, pulling them out.
“Yes,” he said. “You can go now.”
“Yes,” he said. “You can leave now.”
The Scotchman sitting at the writing-table, the doctor stirring a stimulant mixture in a corner, looked at each other with an anxiety in both their faces which they could neither of them control. The words that banished the wife from the room were spoken. The moment had come.
The Scottish man sitting at the writing desk and the doctor mixing a stimulant in the corner exchanged anxious glances, unable to hide their concern. The words that sent the wife out of the room had been said. The moment had arrived.
“You can go now,” said Mr. Armadale, for the second time.
“You can go now,” Mr. Armadale said for the second time.
She looked at the child, established comfortably on the bed, and an ashy paleness spread slowly over her face. She looked at the fatal letter which was a sealed secret to her, and a torture of jealous suspicion—suspicion of that other woman who had been the shadow and the poison of her life—wrung her to the heart. After moving a few steps from the bedside, she stopped, and came back again. Armed with the double courage of her love and her despair, she pressed her lips on her dying husband’s cheek, and pleaded with him for the last time. Her burning tears dropped on his face as she whispered to him: “Oh, Allan, think how I have loved you! think how hard I have tried to make you happy! think how soon I shall lose you! Oh, my own love! don’t, don’t send me away!”
She looked at the child comfortably lying on the bed, and a pale ashen color slowly spread across her face. She glanced at the deadly letter, which remained a sealed secret to her, and the torment of jealous suspicion—suspicion of that other woman who had been the shadow and poison of her life—clutched at her heart. After taking a few steps away from the bedside, she paused and returned. Fueled by the dual courage of her love and her despair, she pressed her lips to her dying husband's cheek and begged him one last time. Her burning tears fell onto his face as she whispered to him, “Oh, Allan, think about how I have loved you! Think about how hard I have tried to make you happy! Think about how soon I will lose you! Oh, my love! Please, don’t send me away!”
The words pleaded for her; the kiss pleaded for her; the recollection of the love that had been given to him, and never returned, touched the heart of the fast-sinking man as nothing had touched it since the day of his marriage. A heavy sigh broke from him. He looked at her, and hesitated.
The words begged for her; the kiss begged for her; the memory of the love he had given her, and never received back, moved the heart of the man who was rapidly losing hope more than anything had since his wedding day. A deep sigh escaped him. He looked at her and paused.
“Let me stay,” she whispered, pressing her face closer to his.
“Let me stay,” she whispered, leaning her face closer to his.
“It will only distress you,” he whispered back.
“It will just upset you,” he whispered back.
“Nothing distresses me, but being sent away from you!”
“Nothing bothers me more than being separated from you!”
He waited. She saw that he was thinking, and waited too.
He waited. She noticed he was deep in thought, so she waited as well.
“If I let you stay a little—?”
“If I let you stay for a bit—?”
“Yes! yes!”
“Yes! Yes!”
“Will you go when I tell you?”
“Are you going to go when I say so?”
“I will.”
"Sure thing."
“On your oath?”
"Are you serious?"
The fetters that bound his tongue seemed to be loosened for a moment in the great outburst of anxiety which forced that question to his lips. He spoke those startling words as he had spoken no words yet.
The restraints on his tongue seemed to ease for a moment in the intense burst of anxiety that pushed that question out of him. He expressed those shocking words like he had never spoken before.
“On my oath!” she repeated, and, dropping on her knees at the bedside, passionately kissed his hand. The two strangers in the room turned their heads away by common consent. In the silence that followed, the one sound stirring was the small sound of the child’s toy, as he moved it hither and thither on the bed.
“On my oath!” she said again, and dropping to her knees beside the bed, kissed his hand passionately. The two strangers in the room turned their heads away in agreement. In the silence that followed, the only sound was the soft noise of the child’s toy as he moved it back and forth on the bed.
The doctor was the first who broke the spell of stillness which had fallen on all the persons present. He approached the patient, and examined him anxiously. Mrs. Armadale rose from her knees; and, first waiting for her husband’s permission, carried the sheets of manuscript which she had taken out of the desk to the table at which Mr. Neal was waiting. Flushed and eager, more beautiful than ever in the vehement agitation which still possessed her, she stooped over him as she put the letter into his hands, and, seizing on the means to her end with a woman’s headlong self-abandonment to her own impulses, whispered to him, “Read it out from the beginning. I must and will hear it!” Her eyes flashed their burning light into his; her breath beat on his cheek. Before he could answer, before he could think, she was back with her husband. In an instant she had spoken, and in that instant her beauty had bent the Scotchman to her will. Frowning in reluctant acknowledgment of his own inability to resist her, he turned over the leaves of the letter; looked at the blank place where the pen had dropped from the writer’s hand and had left a blot on the paper; turned back again to the beginning, and said the words, in the wife’s interest, which the wife herself had put into his lips.
The doctor was the first to break the heavy silence that had settled over everyone present. He stepped up to the patient and examined him with concern. Mrs. Armadale got up from her knees; after waiting for her husband’s nod, she carried the sheets of manuscript she had taken from the desk to the table where Mr. Neal was waiting. Flushed and eager, looking more beautiful than ever in her intense agitation, she leaned over him as she handed him the letter and, driven by her emotions, whispered, “Read it from the start. I have to hear it!” Her eyes sparkled with intensity as they locked onto his, and her breath brushed against his cheek. Before he could respond or gather his thoughts, she was back with her husband. In an instant, she had spoken, and in that moment, her beauty had swayed the Scotsman to her will. Frowning at his own helplessness, he turned the pages of the letter, glanced at the blank spot where the writer had dropped the pen, and then went back to the beginning, saying the words that the wife herself had urged him to say.
“Perhaps, sir, you may wish to make some corrections,” he began, with all his attention apparently fixed on the letter, and with every outward appearance of letting his sour temper again get the better of him. “Shall I read over to you what you have already written?”
“Maybe, sir, you might want to make some corrections,” he started, clearly focused on the letter, trying not to let his bad mood take over again. “Should I read to you what you've already written?”
Mrs. Armadale, sitting at the bed head on one side, and the doctor, with his fingers on the patient’s pulse, sitting on the other, waited with widely different anxieties for the answer to Mr. Neal’s question. Mr. Armadale’s eyes turned searchingly from his child to his wife.
Mrs. Armadale sat at the head of the bed on one side, and the doctor, with his fingers on the patient's pulse, sat on the other, both waiting with very different worries for the answer to Mr. Neal's question. Mr. Armadale's eyes shifted anxiously from his child to his wife.
“You will hear it?” he said. Her breath came and went quickly; her hand stole up and took his; she bowed her head in silence. Her husband paused, taking secret counsel with his thoughts, and keeping his eyes fixed on his wife. At last he decided, and gave the answer. “Read it,” he said, “and stop when I tell you.”
“You will hear it?” he said. Her breath came and went quickly; her hand moved up and took his; she lowered her head in silence. Her husband paused, quietly considering his thoughts while keeping his eyes on his wife. Finally, he made his decision and gave the answer. “Read it,” he said, “and stop when I tell you.”
It was close on one o’clock, and the bell was ringing which summoned the visitors to their early dinner at the inn. The quick beat of footsteps, and the gathering hum of voices outside, penetrated gayly into the room, as Mr. Neal spread the manuscript before him on the table, and read the opening sentences in these words:
It was almost one o’clock, and the bell was ringing to call the visitors to their early dinner at the inn. The quick beat of footsteps and the growing buzz of voices outside cheerfully filled the room as Mr. Neal spread the manuscript out on the table and read the opening sentences like this:
“I address this letter to my son, when my son is of an age to understand it. Having lost all hope of living to see my boy grow up to manhood, I have no choice but to write here what I would fain have said to him at a future time with my own lips.
“I’m writing this letter to my son, when he’s old enough to understand it. Having lost all hope of living to see my boy grow up to be a man, I have to write down what I wish I could have said to him in person later on.”
“I have three objects in writing. First, to reveal the circumstances which attended the marriage of an English lady of my acquaintance, in the island of Madeira. Secondly, to throw the true light on the death of her husband a short time afterward, on board the French timber ship La Grace de Dieu. Thirdly, to warn my son of a danger that lies in wait for him—a danger that will rise from his father’s grave when the earth has closed over his father’s ashes.
“I have three goals in writing. First, to share the details surrounding the marriage of an English lady I know, on the island of Madeira. Second, to shed light on the true circumstances of her husband’s death shortly after, aboard the French timber ship La Grace de Dieu. Third, to caution my son about a danger that awaits him—a danger that will emerge from his father’s grave once the earth has settled over his father’s remains.”
“The story of the English lady’s marriage begins with my inheriting the great Armadale property, and my taking the fatal Armadale name.
“The story of the English lady’s marriage begins with me inheriting the great Armadale property and taking on the unfortunate Armadale name.”
“I am the only surviving son of the late Mathew Wrentmore, of Barbadoes. I was born on our family estate in that island, and I lost my father when I was still a child. My mother was blindly fond of me; she denied me nothing, she let me live as I pleased. My boyhood and youth were passed in idleness and self-indulgence, among people—slaves and half-castes mostly—to whom my will was law. I doubt if there is a gentleman of my birth and station in all England as ignorant as I am at this moment. I doubt if there was ever a young man in this world whose passions were left so entirely without control of any kind as mine were in those early days.
“I am the only surviving son of the late Mathew Wrentmore from Barbados. I was born on our family estate on the island, and I lost my father when I was still a child. My mother adored me; she never denied me anything and let me live however I wanted. I spent my boyhood and youth in idleness and self-indulgence, surrounded mostly by slaves and mixed-race people, who followed my every request. I doubt there's a gentleman of my birth and status in all of England as ignorant as I am right now. I doubt there has ever been a young man in this world whose passions were left completely unchecked like mine were in those early days.”
“My mother had a woman’s romantic objection to my father’s homely Christian name. I was christened Allan, after the name of a wealthy cousin of my father’s—the late Allan Armadale—who possessed estates in our neighborhood, the largest and most productive in the island, and who consented to be my godfather by proxy. Mr. Armadale had never seen his West Indian property. He lived in England; and, after sending me the customary godfather’s present, he held no further communication with my parents for years afterward. I was just twenty-one before we heard again from Mr. Armadale. On that occasion my mother received a letter from him asking if I was still alive, and offering no less (if I was) than to make me the heir to his West Indian property.
“My mother had a woman’s romantic issue with my father’s plain Christian name. I was named Allan, after a wealthy cousin of my father’s—the late Allan Armadale—who owned the largest and most productive estates in our area, and who agreed to be my godfather by proxy. Mr. Armadale had never visited his West Indian property. He lived in England, and after sending me the usual godfather’s gift, he didn't contact my parents for years afterward. I was just twenty-one when we heard from Mr. Armadale again. This time, my mother received a letter from him asking if I was still alive and offering, if I was, to make me the heir to his West Indian estate.”
“This piece of good fortune fell to me entirely through the misconduct of Mr. Armadale’s son, an only child. The young man had disgraced himself beyond all redemption; had left his home an outlaw; and had been thereupon renounced by his father at once and forever. Having no other near male relative to succeed him, Mr. Armadale thought of his cousin’s son and his own godson; and he offered the West Indian estate to me, and my heirs after me, on one condition—that I and my heirs should take his name. The proposal was gratefully accepted, and the proper legal measures were adopted for changing my name in the colony and in the mother country. By the next mail information reached Mr. Armadale that his condition had been complied with. The return mail brought news from the lawyers. The will had been altered in my favor, and in a week afterward the death of my benefactor had made me the largest proprietor and the richest man in Barbadoes.
“This stroke of luck came to me entirely because of the wrongdoings of Mr. Armadale’s only child. The young man had completely tarnished his reputation; he had left home as an outlaw and was immediately disowned by his father forever. With no other close male relative to inherit, Mr. Armadale thought of his cousin’s son, who was also his godson; he offered me the West Indian estate, along with the promise that my heirs would inherit it as well, on one condition—that I and my heirs would take his name. I gratefully accepted the proposal, and the appropriate legal steps were taken to change my name both in the colony and in the mother country. In the next mail, Mr. Armadale received confirmation that the condition had been met. The returning mail brought news from the lawyers: the will had been revised in my favor, and a week later, with the death of my benefactor, I became the largest landowner and the wealthiest man in Barbados.”
“This was the first event in the chain. The second event followed it six weeks afterward.
“This was the first event in the series. The second event took place six weeks later.
“At that time there happened to be a vacancy in the clerk’s office on the estate, and there came to fill it a young man about my own age who had recently arrived in the island. He announced himself by the name of Fergus Ingleby. My impulses governed me in everything; I knew no law but the law of my own caprice, and I took a fancy to the stranger the moment I set eyes on him. He had the manners of a gentleman, and he possessed the most attractive social qualities which, in my small experience, I had ever met with. When I heard that the written references to character which he had brought with him were pronounced to be unsatisfactory, I interfered, and insisted that he should have the place. My will was law, and he had it.
“At that time, there was an opening in the clerk’s office on the estate, and a young man around my age, who had just arrived on the island, came to fill it. He introduced himself as Fergus Ingleby. I was driven by my impulses; I knew no other rule but my own whims, and I took a liking to the stranger the moment I saw him. He had the manners of a gentleman and the most charming social qualities I had ever encountered in my limited experience. When I found out that the character references he had brought with him were deemed unsatisfactory, I stepped in and insisted he should get the job. My will was law, and he got it.
“My mother disliked and distrusted Ingleby from the first. When she found the intimacy between us rapidly ripening; when she found me admitting this inferior to the closest companionship and confidence (I had lived with my inferiors all my life, and I liked it), she made effort after effort to part us, and failed in one and all. Driven to her last resources, she resolved to try the one chance left—the chance of persuading me to take a voyage which I had often thought of—a voyage to England.
“My mom never liked or trusted Ingleby from the beginning. When she saw our close friendship growing quickly; when she realized I was confiding in someone she considered beneath me (I had spent my whole life around people I thought of as lesser, and I enjoyed it), she tried everything to separate us, and nothing worked. Out of options, she decided to take a shot at the last possibility—convincing me to go on a trip I'd thought about many times—a trip to England.”
“Before she spoke to me on the subject, she resolved to interest me in the idea of seeing England, as I had never been interested yet. She wrote to an old friend and an old admirer of hers, the late Stephen Blanchard, of Thorpe Ambrose, in Norfolk—a gentleman of landed estate, and a widower with a grown-up family. After-discoveries informed me that she must have alluded to their former attachment (which was checked, I believe, by the parents on either side); and that, in asking Mr. Blanchard’s welcome for her son when he came to England, she made inquiries about his daughter, which hinted at the chance of a marriage uniting the two families, if the young lady and I met and liked one another. We were equally matched in every respect, and my mother’s recollection of her girlish attachment to Mr. Blanchard made the prospect of my marrying her old admirer’s daughter the brightest and happiest prospect that her eyes could see. Of all this I knew nothing until Mr. Blanchard’s answer arrived at Barbadoes. Then my mother showed me the letter, and put the temptation which was to separate me from Fergus Ingleby openly in my way.
“Before she talked to me about it, she decided to get me interested in the idea of visiting England, since I had never cared about it before. She wrote to an old friend and admirer of hers, the late Stephen Blanchard, from Thorpe Ambrose in Norfolk—a gentleman with land and a widower with grown children. Later revelations showed me that she must have been referring to their past connection (which I think was stopped by both families); and, in asking Mr. Blanchard to welcome her son when he came to England, she asked about his daughter, suggesting the possibility of a marriage bringing our two families together if the young lady and I met and got along. We seemed like a perfect match in every way, and my mother’s memories of her youthful affection for Mr. Blanchard made the idea of me marrying his daughter the most exciting and joyful prospect she could envision. I was completely unaware of all this until Mr. Blanchard’s response arrived in Barbadoes. Then my mother showed me the letter and openly presented the temptation that would separate me from Fergus Ingleby.”
“Mr. Blanchard’s letter was dated from the Island of Madeira. He was out of health, and he had been ordered there by the doctors to try the climate. His daughter was with him. After heartily reciprocating all my mother’s hopes and wishes, he proposed (if I intended leaving Barbadoes shortly) that I should take Madeira on my way to England, and pay him a visit at his temporary residence in the island. If this could not be, he mentioned the time at which he expected to be back in England, when I might be sure of finding a welcome at his own house of Thorpe Ambrose. In conclusion, he apologized for not writing at greater length; explaining that his sight was affected, and that he had disobeyed the doctor’s orders by yielding to the temptation of writing to his old friend with his own hand.
“Mr. Blanchard’s letter was dated from Madeira. He was unwell, and the doctors had recommended he go there to benefit from the climate. His daughter was with him. After genuinely returning all my mother’s hopes and well-wishes, he suggested (if I was planning to leave Barbados soon) that I stop by Madeira on my way to England and visit him at his temporary home on the island. If that wasn’t possible, he mentioned when he expected to be back in England, assuring me I would be warmly welcomed at his house in Thorpe Ambrose. To wrap up, he apologized for not writing more extensively, explaining that his vision was affected and that he had disobeyed the doctor’s orders by giving in to the urge to write to his old friend himself.”
“Kindly as it was expressed, the letter itself might have had little influence on me. But there was something else besides the letter; there was inclosed in it a miniature portrait of Miss Blanchard. At the back of the portrait, her father had written, half-jestingly, half-tenderly, ‘I can’t ask my daughter to spare my eyes as usual, without telling her of your inquiries, and putting a young lady’s diffidence to the blush. So I send her in effigy (without her knowledge) to answer for herself. It is a good likeness of a good girl. If she likes your son—and if I like him, which I am sure I shall—we may yet live, my good friend, to see our children what we might once have been ourselves—man and wife.’ My mother gave me the miniature with the letter. The portrait at once struck me—I can’t say why, I can’t say how—as nothing of the kind had ever struck me before.
“Although it was expressed kindly, the letter itself might not have had much effect on me. But there was something else besides the letter; included with it was a miniature portrait of Miss Blanchard. On the back of the portrait, her father had written, partly joking and partly affectionately, ‘I can’t ask my daughter to spare my eyes as usual without mentioning your inquiries and making a young lady’s shyness blush. So I’m sending her likeness (without her knowing) to speak for herself. It's a good likeness of a good girl. If she likes your son—and if I like him, which I’m sure I will—we might still, my good friend, live to see our children become what we might have once been ourselves—man and wife.’ My mother gave me the miniature along with the letter. The portrait struck me immediately—I can’t explain why or how—like nothing I had ever experienced before.”
“Harder intellects than mine might have attributed the extraordinary impression produced on me to the disordered condition of my mind at that time; to the weariness of my own base pleasures which had been gaining on me for months past, to the undefined longing which that weariness implied for newer interests and fresher hopes than any that had possessed me yet. I attempted no such sober self-examination as this: I believed in destiny then, I believe in destiny now. It was enough for me to know—as I did know—that the first sense I had ever felt of something better in my nature than my animal self was roused by that girl’s face looking at me from her picture as no woman’s face had ever looked at me yet. In those tender eyes—in the chance of making that gentle creature my wife—I saw my destiny written. The portrait which had come into my hands so strangely and so unexpectedly was the silent messenger of happiness close at hand, sent to warn, to encourage, to rouse me before it was too late. I put the miniature under my pillow at night; I looked at it again the next morning. My conviction of the day before remained as strong as ever; my superstition (if you please to call it so) pointed out to me irresistibly the way on which I should go. There was a ship in port which was to sail for England in a fortnight, touching at Madeira. In that ship I took my passage.”
“Smarter minds than mine might have said that the intense feelings I experienced were due to my troubled state of mind at the time; the exhaustion of my own shallow pleasures that had been creeping up on me for months, and the vague yearning that this fatigue hinted at for new interests and brighter hopes than anything I had felt before. I didn’t engage in that kind of serious self-reflection; I believed in destiny then, and I still do. It was enough for me to know—because I did know—that the first real sense I had ever felt of something better in my nature than my basic instincts was awakened by that girl’s face looking at me from her picture in a way no woman’s face ever had. In those gentle eyes—in the possibility of making that kind-hearted girl my wife—I saw my destiny laid out. The portrait that had come to me so strangely and unexpectedly was a quiet messenger of happiness that was close at hand, sent to warn, encourage, and awaken me before it was too late. I put the miniature under my pillow at night; I looked at it again the next morning. My conviction from the day before was just as strong; my superstition (if you’d like to call it that) pointed me directly to the path I should follow. There was a ship in port that was set to sail for England in a fortnight, with a stop at Madeira. I booked my passage on that ship.”
Thus far the reader had advanced with no interruption to disturb him. But at the last words the tones of another voice, low and broken, mingled with his own.
Thus far, the reader had moved along without any interruptions. But with the last words, the sound of another voice, soft and shaky, blended with his own.
“Was she a fair woman,” asked the voice, “or dark, like me?”
“Was she pretty,” asked the voice, “or dark, like me?”
Mr. Neal paused, and looked up. The doctor was still at the bed head, with his fingers mechanically on the patient’s pulse. The child, missing his midday sleep, was beginning to play languidly with his new toy. The father’s eyes were watching him with a rapt and ceaseless attention. But one great change was visible in the listeners since the narrative had begun. Mrs. Armadale had dropped her hold of her husband’s hand, and sat with her face steadily turned away from him The hot African blood burned red in her dusky cheeks as she obstinately repeated the question: “Was she a fair woman, or dark, like me?”
Mr. Neal paused and looked up. The doctor was still at the head of the bed, his fingers automatically on the patient's pulse. The child, missing his midday nap, was starting to play lazily with his new toy. The father's eyes were fixed on him with intense and unbroken attention. But one significant change was evident in the listeners since the story had started. Mrs. Armadale had let go of her husband’s hand and was sitting with her face turned away from him. The hot African blood burned bright red in her dark cheeks as she stubbornly repeated the question: “Was she a fair woman or dark, like me?”
“Fair,” said her husband, without looking at her.
“Fine,” her husband said, not looking at her.
Her hands, lying clasped together in her lap, wrung each other hard—she said no more. Mr. Neal’s overhanging eyebrows lowered ominously as he returned to the narrative. He had incurred his own severe displeasure—he had caught himself in the act of secretly pitying her.
Her hands, resting tightly clasped in her lap, squeezed each other hard—she said nothing more. Mr. Neal’s heavy eyebrows lowered ominously as he returned to the story. He was also feeling his own intense annoyance—he had caught himself secretly feeling sorry for her.
“I have said”—the letter proceeded—“that Ingleby was admitted to my closest confidence. I was sorry to leave him; and I was distressed by his evident surprise and mortification when he heard that I was going away. In my own justification, I showed him the letter and the likeness, and told him the truth. His interest in the portrait seemed to be hardly inferior to my own. He asked me about Miss Blanchard’s family and Miss Blanchard’s fortune with the sympathy of a true friend; and he strengthened my regard for him, and my belief in him, by putting himself out of the question, and by generously encouraging me to persist in my new purpose. When we parted, I was in high health and spirits. Before we met again the next day, I was suddenly struck by an illness which threatened both my reason and my life.
“I’ve mentioned”—the letter continued—“that Ingleby was fully trusted by me. I felt bad about leaving him; and I was upset by his clear surprise and disappointment when he found out I was going away. To justify myself, I showed him the letter and the picture, and told him the truth. His interest in the portrait seemed almost as strong as mine. He asked me about Miss Blanchard’s family and her wealth with the empathy of a true friend; and he deepened my fondness for him, and my confidence in him, by removing himself from the conversation and generously encouraging me to stick to my new goal. When we said goodbye, I was in great health and spirits. However, before we met again the next day, I was unexpectedly hit by an illness that threatened both my sanity and my life.
“I have no proof against Ingleby. There was more than one woman on the island whom I had wronged beyond all forgiveness, and whose vengeance might well have reached me at that time. I can accuse nobody. I can only say that my life was saved by my old black nurse; and that the woman afterward acknowledged having used the known negro antidote to a known negro poison in those parts. When my first days of convalescence came, the ship in which my passage had been taken had long since sailed. When I asked for Ingleby, he was gone. Proofs of his unpardonable misconduct in his situation were placed before me, which not even my partiality for him could resist. He had been turned out of the office in the first days of my illness, and nothing more was known of him but that he had left the island.
“I have no evidence against Ingleby. There were several women on the island whom I had wronged beyond forgiveness, and any of them might have wanted revenge on me at that time. I can’t blame anyone. All I can say is that my life was saved by my old black nurse, who later admitted to using the known antidote for a well-known poison in that area. When I started to recover, the ship I had booked passage on had already departed. When I asked about Ingleby, he was gone. Evidence of his unforgivable misconduct in his position was presented to me, which even my fondness for him couldn’t ignore. He had been kicked out of the office in the early days of my illness, and nothing more was known about him, except that he had left the island."
“All through my sufferings the portrait had been under my pillow. All through my convalescence it was my one consolation when I remembered the past, and my one encouragement when I thought of the future. No words can describe the hold that first fancy had now taken of me—with time and solitude and suffering to help it. My mother, with all her interest in the match, was startled by the unexpected success of her own project. She had written to tell Mr. Blanchard of my illness, but had received no reply. She now offered to write again, if I would promise not to leave her before my recovery was complete. My impatience acknowledged no restraint. Another ship in port gave me another chance of leaving for Madeira. Another examination of Mr. Blanchard’s letter of invitation assured me that I should find him still in the island, if I seized my opportunity on the spot. In defiance of my mother’s entreaties, I insisted on taking my passage in the second ship—and this time, when the ship sailed, I was on board.
“All through my suffering, the portrait had been under my pillow. During my recovery, it was my only comfort when I remembered the past and my only motivation when I thought about the future. No words can capture the grip that initial fancy had on me—fueled by time, solitude, and pain. My mother, despite her enthusiasm for the match, was surprised by the unexpected success of her own plan. She had written to inform Mr. Blanchard about my illness but hadn’t received a reply. Now, she offered to write again if I promised not to leave her until I was fully recovered. My impatience knew no bounds. Another ship in port gave me another chance to leave for Madeira. A closer look at Mr. Blanchard’s invitation reassured me that I would find him still on the island if I took my chance right away. Defying my mother’s pleas, I insisted on booking my passage on the second ship—and this time, when the ship sailed, I was on board.”
“The change did me good; the sea-air made a man of me again. After an unusually rapid voyage, I found myself at the end of my pilgrimage. On a fine, still evening which I can never forget, I stood alone on the shore, with her likeness in my bosom, and saw the white walls of the house where I knew that she lived.
“The change was beneficial for me; the sea air revitalized me. After an unexpectedly quick journey, I found myself at the end of my quest. On a beautiful, calm evening that I will always remember, I stood alone on the shore, with her image close to my heart, and saw the white walls of the house where I knew she lived.
“I strolled round the outer limits of the grounds to compose myself before I went in. Venturing through a gate and a shrubbery, I looked into the garden, and saw a lady there, loitering alone on the lawn. She turned her face toward me—and I beheld the original of my portrait, the fulfillment of my dream! It is useless, and worse than useless, to write of it now. Let me only say that every promise which the likeness had made to my fancy the living woman kept to my eyes in the moment when they first looked on her. Let me say this—and no more.
“I walked around the outer edges of the grounds to collect my thoughts before going in. After passing through a gate and some bushes, I peered into the garden and saw a woman standing alone on the lawn. She turned to face me—and I recognized the subject of my portrait, the realization of my dream! It’s pointless, and even harmful, to try to describe it now. Let me just say that every promise the image had made to my imagination was fulfilled by the real woman the moment I first saw her. I’ll leave it at that.”
“I was too violently agitated to trust myself in her presence. I drew back undiscovered, and, making my way to the front door of the house, asked for her father first. Mr. Blanchard had retired to his room, and could see nobody. Upon that I took courage, and asked for Miss Blanchard. The servant smiled. ‘My young lady is not Miss Blanchard any longer, sir,’ he said. ‘She is married.’ Those words would have struck some men, in my position, to the earth. They fired my hot blood, and I seized the servant by the throat, in a frenzy of rage ‘It’s a lie!’ I broke out, speaking to him as if he had been one of the slaves on my own estate. ‘It’s the truth,’ said the man, struggling with me; ‘her husband is in the house at this moment.’ ‘Who is he, you scoundrel?’The servant answered by repeating my own name, to my own face: ‘Allan Armadale.’
“I was too worked up to be around her. I stepped back quietly and made my way to the front door of the house, asking for her father first. Mr. Blanchard had gone to his room and wasn’t seeing anyone. With that, I gathered my courage and asked for Miss Blanchard. The servant smiled. ‘My young lady isn’t Miss Blanchard anymore, sir,’ he said. ‘She’s married.’ Those words would have knocked some guys like me to the ground. Instead, they set my blood on fire, and I grabbed the servant by the throat in a fit of rage. ‘That’s a lie!’ I shouted at him as if he were one of the slaves on my estate. ‘It’s the truth,’ the man said, struggling against me; ‘her husband is in the house right now.’ ‘Who is he, you scoundrel?’ The servant answered by throwing my own name back at me: ‘Allan Armadale.’”
“You can now guess the truth. Fergus Ingleby was the outlawed son whose name and whose inheritance I had taken. And Fergus Ingleby was even with me for depriving him of his birthright.
“You can now figure out the truth. Fergus Ingleby was the disowned son whose name and inheritance I had taken. And Fergus Ingleby was right to be angry with me for taking away his birthright.
“Some account of the manner in which the deception had been carried out is necessary to explain—I don’t say to justify—the share I took in the events that followed my arrival at Madeira.
“An explanation of how the deception was carried out is necessary to clarify—I’m not saying to justify—the role I played in the events that unfolded after I arrived in Madeira.”
“By Ingleby’s own confession, he had come to Barbadoes—knowing of his father’s death and of my succession to the estates—with the settled purpose of plundering and injuring me. My rash confidence put such an opportunity into his hands as he could never have hoped for. He had waited to possess himself of the letter which my mother wrote to Mr. Blanchard at the outset of my illness—had then caused his own dismissal from his situation—and had sailed for Madeira in the very ship that was to have sailed with me. Arrived at the island, he had waited again till the vessel was away once more on her voyage, and had then presented himself at Mr. Blanchard’s—not in the assumed name by which I shall continue to speak of him here, but in the name which was as certainly his as mine, ‘Allan Armadale.’ The fraud at the outset presented few difficulties. He had only an ailing old man (who had not seen my mother for half a lifetime) and an innocent, unsuspicious girl (who had never seen her at all) to deal with; and he had learned enough in my service to answer the few questions that were put to him as readily as I might have answered them myself. His looks and manners, his winning ways with women, his quickness and cunning, did the rest. While I was still on my sickbed, he had won Miss Blanchard’s affections. While I was dreaming over the likeness in the first days of my convalescence, he had secured Mr. Blanchard’s consent to the celebration of the marriage before he and his daughter left the island.
“By Ingleby’s own admission, he came to Barbados—aware of his father’s death and my inheritance of the estates—with the clear intention of robbing and harming me. My foolish trust gave him an opportunity he could never have anticipated. He waited to obtain the letter my mother had written to Mr. Blanchard at the beginning of my illness, then caused his own dismissal from his job, and set sail for Madeira on the very ship that was supposed to take me. Once he arrived on the island, he waited again until the ship departed on its next journey, then showed up at Mr. Blanchard’s—not under the fake name I’ll use for him here, but under the name that was just as truly his as mine, ‘Allan Armadale.’ The deception at the start was not difficult. He only had to handle a sick old man (who hadn’t seen my mother in ages) and an innocent, unsuspecting girl (who had never seen her at all); and he had learned enough while working for me to respond to the few questions posed to him just as easily as I could have. His appearance and manners, his charming ways with women, his quick thinking and cleverness, did the rest. While I was still in bed recovering, he had won Miss Blanchard’s heart. While I was lost in thoughts about the resemblance in the early days of my recovery, he had secured Mr. Blanchard’s permission to hold the wedding before he and his daughter left the island.”
“Thus far Mr. Blanchard’s infirmity of sight had helped the deception. He had been content to send messages to my mother, and to receive the messages which were duly invented in return. But when the suitor was accepted, and the wedding-day was appointed, he felt it due to his old friend to write to her, asking her formal consent and inviting her to the marriage. He could only complete part of the letter himself; the rest was finished, under his dictation, by Miss Blanchard. There was no chance of being beforehand with the post-office this time; and Ingleby, sure of his place in the heart of his victim, waylaid her as she came out of her father’s room with the letter, and privately told her the truth. She was still under age, and the position was a serious one. If the letter was posted, no resource would be left but to wait and be parted forever, or to elope under circumstances which made detection almost a certainty. The destination of any ship which took them away would be known beforehand; and the fast-sailing yacht in which Mr. Blanchard had come to Madeira was waiting in the harbor to take him back to England. The only other alternative was to continue the deception by suppressing the letter, and to confess the truth when they were securely married. What arts of persuasion Ingleby used—what base advantage he might previously have taken of her love and her trust in him to degrade Miss Blanchard to his own level—I cannot say. He did degrade her. The letter never went to its destination; and, with the daughter’s privity and consent, the father’s confidence was abused to the very last.
“Up until now, Mr. Blanchard’s poor eyesight had helped keep the ruse going. He was fine with sending messages to my mother and receiving the replies that were creatively written in return. But when the suitor was accepted and the wedding day was set, he felt it was necessary to write to her, asking for her formal approval and inviting her to the wedding. He could only finish part of the letter himself; the rest was completed, under his guidance, by Miss Blanchard. There was no way to get ahead of the post office this time; and Ingleby, confident of his hold over his target, confronted her as she left her father’s room with the letter, and privately revealed the truth. She was still a minor, and the situation was serious. If the letter was sent, their only options would be to wait and be separated forever or to elope in a way that would almost guarantee they’d be caught. The destination of any ship that took them away would be known ahead of time; and the fast yacht that Mr. Blanchard had arrived on in Madeira was docked and ready to take him back to England. The only other option was to keep up the deception by hiding the letter and confessing the truth once they were safely married. I can’t say what methods of persuasion Ingleby used—what manipulative tactics he might have previously employed to lower Miss Blanchard to his level—I only know that he did. The letter never reached its destination; and, with the daughter’s knowledge and approval, the father’s trust was betrayed to the very end.”
“The one precaution now left to take was to fabricate the answer from my mother which Mr. Blanchard expected, and which would arrive in due course of post before the day appointed for the marriage. Ingleby had my mother’s stolen letter with him; but he was without the imitative dexterity which would have enabled him to make use of it for a forgery of her handwriting. Miss Blanchard, who had consented passively to the deception, refused to take any active share in the fraud practiced on her father. In this difficulty, Ingleby found an instrument ready to his hand in an orphan girl of barely twelve years old, a marvel of precocious ability, whom Miss Blanchard had taken a romantic fancy to befriend and whom she had brought away with her from England to be trained as her maid. That girl’s wicked dexterity removed the one serious obstacle left to the success of the fraud. I saw the imitation of my mother’s writing which she had produced under Ingleby’s instructions and (if the shameful truth must be told) with her young mistress’s knowledge—and I believe I should have been deceived by it myself. I saw the girl afterward—and my blood curdled at the sight of her. If she is alive now, woe to the people who trust her! No creature more innately deceitful and more innately pitiless ever walked this earth.
The only precaution left to take was to create the response from my mother that Mr. Blanchard expected, which would arrive in the mail before the wedding day. Ingleby had my mother’s stolen letter with him, but he didn’t have the skill to replicate her handwriting for a forgery. Miss Blanchard, who had passively agreed to the deception, refused to play an active role in the fraud against her father. In this tricky situation, Ingleby found a willing helper in an orphan girl who was barely twelve, a prodigy of talent, whom Miss Blanchard had whimsically decided to help and had brought with her from England to train as her maid. That girl's wicked talent removed the last serious hurdle to the fraud's success. I saw the imitation of my mother’s writing that she produced under Ingleby’s direction and (embarrassingly, to admit the truth) with her young mistress’s approval—and I believe I would have been fooled by it myself. I encountered the girl later—and my blood ran cold at the sight of her. If she is still alive, woe to those who trust her! No creature more inherently deceitful and more cruel has ever walked this earth.
“The forged letter paved the way securely for the marriage; and when I reached the house, they were (as the servant had truly told me) man and wife. My arrival on the scene simply precipitated the confession which they had both agreed to make. Ingleby’s own lips shamelessly acknowledged the truth. He had nothing to lose by speaking out—he was married, and his wife’s fortune was beyond her father’s control. I pass over all that followed—my interview with the daughter, and my interview with the father—to come to results. For two days the efforts of the wife, and the efforts of the clergyman who had celebrated the marriage, were successful in keeping Ingleby and myself apart. On the third day I set my trap more successfully, and I and the man who had mortally injured me met together alone, face to face.
“The forged letter securely set the stage for the marriage; and when I arrived at the house, they were (as the servant had correctly informed me) married. My arrival simply triggered the confession they had both agreed to make. Ingleby shamelessly admitted the truth. He had nothing to lose by speaking out—he was married, and his wife’s fortune was out of her father’s reach. I’ll skip over everything that happened next—my meeting with the daughter and my meeting with the father—to get to the outcomes. For two days, the efforts of the wife and the clergyman who officiated the marriage successfully kept Ingleby and me apart. On the third day, I set my trap more effectively, and I met alone with the man who had seriously harmed me, face to face.”
“Remember how my confidence had been abused; remember how the one good purpose of my life had been thwarted; remember the violent passions rooted deep in my nature, and never yet controlled—and then imagine for yourself what passed between us. All I need tell here is the end. He was a taller and a stronger man than I, and he took his brute’s advantage with a brute’s ferocity. He struck me.
“Remember how my confidence was betrayed; remember how the one good purpose of my life was destroyed; remember the intense emotions ingrained in my nature, which I had never managed to control—and then picture for yourself what happened between us. All I need to share here is the conclusion. He was a taller and stronger man than I, and he used his physical advantage with a savage brutality. He hit me.”
“Think of the injuries I had received at that man’s hands, and then think of his setting his mark on my face by a blow!
“Think about the injuries I suffered at that man’s hands, and then consider him leaving his mark on my face with a punch!”
“I went to an English officer who had been my fellow-passenger on the voyage from Barbadoes. I told him the truth, and he agreed with me that a meeting was inevitable. Dueling had its received formalities and its established laws in those days; and he began to speak of them. I stopped him. ‘I will take a pistol in my right hand,’ I said, ‘and he shall take a pistol in his: I will take one end of a handkerchief in my left hand, and he shall take the other end in his; and across that handkerchief the duel shall be fought.’ The officer got up, and looked at me as if I had personally insulted him. ‘You are asking me to be present at a murder and a suicide,’ he said; ‘I decline to serve you.’ He left the room. As soon as he was gone I wrote down the words I had said to the officer and sent them by a messenger to Ingleby. While I was waiting for an answer, I sat down before the glass, and looked at his mark on my face. ‘Many a man has had blood on his hands and blood on his conscience,’ I thought, ‘for less than this.’
“I went to an English officer who had been my fellow passenger on the trip from Barbados. I told him the truth, and he agreed that a meeting was unavoidable. Dueling had its formalities and established rules back then, and he started to talk about them. I interrupted him. ‘I’ll hold a pistol in my right hand,’ I said, ‘and he’ll hold a pistol in his; I’ll take one end of a handkerchief in my left hand, and he’ll take the other end in his; and we’ll duel across that handkerchief.’ The officer stood up and looked at me as if I had personally insulted him. ‘You’re asking me to witness a murder and a suicide,’ he said; ‘I refuse to be involved.’ He left the room. As soon as he was gone, I wrote down the words I’d said to the officer and sent them by messenger to Ingleby. While I waited for a response, I sat down in front of the mirror and examined the mark on my face. ‘Many a man has had blood on his hands and guilt on his conscience,’ I thought, ‘for less than this.’
“The messenger came back with Ingleby’s answer. It appointed a meeting for three o’clock the next day, at a lonely place in the interior of the island. I had resolved what to do if he refused; his letter released me from the horror of my own resolution. I felt grateful to him—yes, absolutely grateful to him—for writing it.
“The messenger returned with Ingleby’s response. He scheduled a meeting for three o’clock the next day, at a remote spot in the heart of the island. I had already decided what to do if he said no; his letter freed me from the dread of my own decision. I felt thankful to him—yes, genuinely thankful to him—for writing it.”
“The next day I went to the place. He was not there. I waited two hours, and he never came. At last the truth dawned on me. ‘Once a coward, always a coward,’ I thought. I went back to Mr. Blanchard’s house. Before I got there, a sudden misgiving seized me, and I turned aside to the harbor. I was right; the harbor was the place to go to. A ship sailing for Lisbon that afternoon had offered him the opportunity of taking a passage for himself and his wife, and escaping me. His answer to my challenge had served its purpose of sending me out of the way into the interior of the island. Once more I had trusted in Fergus Ingleby, and once more those sharp wits of his had been too much for me.
“The next day I went to the spot. He wasn’t there. I waited for two hours, and he never showed up. Finally, the truth hit me. ‘Once a coward, always a coward,’ I thought. I went back to Mr. Blanchard’s house. Before I got there, an uneasy feeling grabbed me, and I detoured to the harbor. I was right; the harbor was the place to be. A ship heading to Lisbon that afternoon had given him the chance to book a passage for himself and his wife, and to escape me. His response to my challenge had worked perfectly to send me off into the interior of the island. Once again, I had relied on Fergus Ingleby, and once again, his sharp mind had outsmarted me.”
“I asked my informant if Mr. Blanchard was aware as yet of his daughter’s departure. He had discovered it, but not until the ship had sailed. This time I took a lesson in cunning from Ingleby. Instead of showing myself at Mr. Blanchard’s house, I went first and looked at Mr. Blanchard’s yacht.
“I asked my informant if Mr. Blanchard knew about his daughter leaving yet. He had found out, but not until the ship had already departed. This time I learned a trick from Ingleby. Instead of going to Mr. Blanchard's house, I first went to check out Mr. Blanchard's yacht.”
“The vessel told me what the vessel’s master might have concealed—the truth. I found her in the confusion of a sudden preparation for sea. All the crew were on board, with the exception of some few who had been allowed their leave on shore, and who were away in the interior of the island, nobody knew where. When I discovered that the sailing-master was trying in, to supply their places with the best men he could pick up at a moment’s notice, my resolution was instantly taken. I knew the duties on board a yacht well enough, having had a vessel of my own, and having sailed her myself. Hurrying into the town, I changed my dress for a sailor’s coat and hat, and, returning to the harbor, I offered myself as one of the volunteer crew. I don’t know what the sailing-master saw in my face. My answers to his questions satisfied him, and yet he looked at me and hesitated. But hands were scarce, and it ended in my being taken on board. An hour later Mr. Blanchard joined us, and was assisted into the cabin, suffering pitiably in mind and body both. An hour after that we were at sea, with a starless night overhead, and a fresh breeze behind us.
“The ship revealed to me what the captain might have kept hidden—the truth. I found her amidst the chaos of a sudden departure for sea. All the crew were on board, except for a few who had been granted leave on shore and were off somewhere in the interior of the island, nobody knew where. When I realized that the sailing master was trying to fill their spots with the best crew members he could find on short notice, I made up my mind immediately. I was familiar with the responsibilities on a yacht, having owned one and sailed it myself. Rushing into town, I changed into a sailor’s coat and hat, and returning to the harbor, I offered myself as a volunteer crew member. I don’t know what the sailing master saw in my expression. My answers to his questions satisfied him, yet he looked at me and hesitated. But crew members were in short supply, and it ended with me being taken on board. An hour later, Mr. Blanchard joined us and was helped into the cabin, suffering badly both physically and mentally. An hour after that, we were at sea, with a starless night above us and a fresh breeze at our backs.”
“As I had surmised, we were in pursuit of the vessel in which Ingleby and his wife had left the island that afternoon. The ship was French, and was employed in the timber trade: her name was La Grace de Dieu. Nothing more was known of her than that she was bound for Lisbon; that she had been driven out of her course; and that she had touched at Madeira, short of men and short of provisions. The last want had been supplied, but not the first. Sailors distrusted the sea-worthiness of the ship, and disliked the look of the vagabond crew. When those two serious facts had been communicated to Mr. Blanchard, the hard words he had spoken to his child in the first shock of discovering that she had helped to deceive him smote him to the heart. He instantly determined to give his daughter a refuge on board his own vessel, and to quiet her by keeping her villain of a husband out of the way of all harm at my hands. The yacht sailed three feet and more to the ship’s one. There was no doubt of our overtaking La Grace de Dieu; the only fear was that we might pass her in the darkness.
“As I had guessed, we were chasing the ship that Ingleby and his wife had taken to leave the island that afternoon. The vessel was French and was involved in the timber trade; its name was La Grace de Dieu. We knew little else about it other than that it was headed for Lisbon, had been thrown off course, and had stopped at Madeira, lacking both crew and supplies. They managed to get the supplies, but not the crew. Sailors were suspicious of the ship's seaworthiness and didn't trust the ragtag crew. Once Mr. Blanchard heard those serious concerns, the harsh words he had hurled at his daughter in his initial shock of finding out she had helped deceive him hit him hard. He quickly resolved to give his daughter a safe place on his own ship and to keep her treacherous husband away from any harm at my hands. The yacht easily sailed three feet for every one of the ship’s. There was no doubt we would catch up to La Grace de Dieu; the only worry was that we might pass it in the dark.”
“After we had been some little time out, the wind suddenly dropped, and there fell on us an airless, sultry calm. When the order came to get the topmasts on deck, and to shift the large sails, we all knew what to expect. In little better than an hour more, the storm was upon us, the thunder was pealing over our heads, and the yacht was running for it. She was a powerful schooner-rigged vessel of three hundred tons, as strong as wood and iron could make her; she was handled by a sailing-master who thoroughly understood his work, and she behaved nobly. As the new morning came, the fury of the wind, blowing still from the southwest quarter, subsided a little, and the sea was less heavy. Just before daybreak we heard faintly, through the howling of the gale, the report of a gun. The men collected anxiously on deck, looked at each other, and said: ‘There she is!’
“After we had been out for a little while, the wind suddenly died down, and an airless, muggy calm settled over us. When the order came to bring the topmasts on deck and adjust the large sails, we all knew what to expect. In just over an hour, the storm hit us, thunder rumbling above our heads, and the yacht was racing to cope. She was a powerful schooner-rigged vessel of three hundred tons, built as strong as wood and iron could make her; she was managed by a sailing master who knew his stuff, and she performed excellently. As the new morning broke, the intensity of the wind, still blowing from the southwest, eased a bit, and the sea calmed down. Just before dawn, we faintly heard, through the howling wind, the sound of a gun. The men gathered anxiously on deck, looked at each other, and said, ‘There she is!’”
“With the daybreak we saw the vessel, and the timber-ship it was. She lay wallowing in the trough of the sea, her foremast and her mainmast both gone—a water-logged wreck. The yacht carried three boats; one amidships, and two slung to davits on the quarters; and the sailing-master, seeing signs of the storm renewing its fury before long, determined on lowering the quarter-boats while the lull lasted. Few as the people were on board the wreck, they were too many for one boat, and the risk of trying two boats at once was thought less, in the critical state of the weather, than the risk of making two separate trips from the yacht to the ship. There might be time to make one trip in safety, but no man could look at the heavens and say there would be time enough for two.
“With daybreak, we spotted the vessel, which was a timber ship. It was lying in the trough of the sea, completely waterlogged, with both its foremast and mainmast gone. The yacht had three boats: one in the middle and two hung on davits at the rear. The sailing master, noticing that the storm was likely to intensify again soon, decided to lower the quarter boats while there was a brief calm. Even though there were only a few people on board the wreck, they were too many for one boat. It seemed less risky to try using two boats at once, given the unstable weather, than to attempt two separate trips from the yacht to the ship. There might be enough time for one safe trip, but no one could look at the sky and confidently say there would be enough time for two.”
“The boats were manned by volunteers from the crew, I being in the second of the two. When the first boat was got alongside of the timber-ship—a service of difficulty and danger which no words can describe—all the men on board made a rush to leave the wreck together. If the boat had not been pulled off again before the whole of them had crowded in, the lives of all must have been sacrificed. As our boat approached the vessel in its turn, we arranged that four of us should get on board—two (I being one of them) to see to the safety of Mr. Blanchard’s daughter, and two to beat back the cowardly remnant of the crew if they tried to crowd in first. The other three—the coxswain and two oarsmen—were left in the boat to keep her from being crushed by the ship. What the others saw when they first boarded La Grace de Dieu I don’t know; what I saw was the woman whom I had lost, the woman vilely stolen from me, lying in a swoon on the deck. We lowered her, insensible, into the boat. The remnant of the crew—five in number—were compelled by main force to follow her in an orderly manner, one by one, and minute by minute, as the chance offered for safely taking them in. I was the last who left; and, at the next roll of the ship toward us, the empty length of the deck, without a living creature on it from stem to stern, told the boat’s crew that their work was done. With the louder and louder howling of the fast-rising tempest to warn them, they rowed for their lives back to the yacht.
The boats were crewed by volunteers, and I was in the second of the two. When the first boat reached the timber ship—a task fraught with difficulty and danger that’s hard to put into words—all the men on board rushed to escape the wreck together. If the boat hadn’t been pulled back before they all crowded in, everyone would have lost their lives. As our boat got closer to the vessel, we decided that four of us would go aboard—two of us (including me) to ensure Mr. Blanchard’s daughter was safe, and two to keep the frightened crew members from pushing in first. The other three—the coxswain and two oarsmen—stayed in the boat to prevent it from being crushed by the ship. I don’t know what the others saw when they first boarded La Grace de Dieu; what I saw was the woman I had lost, the woman cruelly taken from me, lying unconscious on the deck. We lowered her, still unresponsive, into the boat. The remaining crew members—five in total—had to be pulled in one by one, in an orderly fashion, as opportunities for safely taking them in arose. I was the last to leave; and with the next roll of the ship towards us, the empty deck, devoid of any living creature from bow to stern, signaled to the boat’s crew that their work was complete. With the wind howling louder as the tempest rose, they rowed for their lives back to the yacht.
“A succession of heavy squalls had brought round the course of the new storm that was coming, from the south to the north; and the sailing-master, watching his opportunity, had wore the yacht to be ready for it. Before the last of our men had got on board again, it burst on us with the fury of a hurricane. Our boat was swamped, but not a life was lost. Once more we ran before it, due south, at the mercy of the wind. I was on deck with the rest, watching the one rag of sail we could venture to set, and waiting to supply its place with another, if it blew out of the bolt-ropes, when the mate came close to me, and shouted in my ear through the thunder of the storm: ‘She has come to her senses in the cabin, and has asked for her husband. Where is he?’ Not a man on board knew. The yacht was searched from one end to another without finding him. The men were mustered in defiance of the weather—he was not among them. The crews of the two boats were questioned. All the first crew could say was that they had pulled away from the wreck when the rush into their boat took place, and that they knew nothing of whom they let in or whom they kept out. All the second crew could say was that they had brought back to the yacht every living soul left by the first boat on the deck of the timber-ship. There was no blaming anybody; but, at the same time, there was no resisting the fact that the man was missing.
A series of heavy squalls had changed the path of the new storm that was coming, moving it from the south to the north; and the sailing-master, seizing his chance, had adjusted the yacht to be ready for it. Before the last of our crew had boarded again, it hit us with the force of a hurricane. Our boat capsized, but miraculously, no one lost their life. Once again, we sailed before it, heading due south, completely at the mercy of the wind. I was on deck with the others, watching the single scrap of sail we dared to set, and ready to replace it with another if it tore out of the bolt-ropes, when the mate came close to me and shouted in my ear over the roar of the storm: ‘She has come to her senses in the cabin and has asked for her husband. Where is he?’ No one on board knew. The yacht was searched from one end to the other but he wasn’t found. The crew was gathered despite the dreadful weather—he was not among them. The crews of the two boats were questioned. All the first crew could say was that they had pulled away from the wreck when the rush into their boat happened, and they had no idea who they let in or who they kept out. All the second crew could say was that they had brought back to the yacht every person left by the first boat on the deck of the timber ship. There was no blaming anyone; but still, there was no denying the fact that the man was missing.
“All through that day the storm, raging unabatedly, never gave us even the shadow of a chance of returning and searching the wreck. The one hope for the yacht was to scud. Toward evening the gale, after having carried us to the southward of Madeira, began at last to break—the wind shifted again—and allowed us to bear up for the island. Early the next morning we got back into port. Mr. Blanchard and his daughter were taken ashore, the sailing-master accompanying them, and warning us that he should have something to say on his return which would nearly concern the whole crew.
“All through that day, the storm raged on without letting up, giving us no chance to return and search the wreck. Our only hope for the yacht was to sail away quickly. By evening, the gale, which had pushed us south of Madeira, finally started to ease—the wind shifted again—and we were able to head back to the island. Early the next morning, we made it back to port. Mr. Blanchard and his daughter were taken ashore, and the sailing master went with them, warning us that he would have something important to share on his return that would affect the entire crew.”
“We were mustered on deck, and addressed by the sailing-master as soon as he came on board again. He had Mr. Blanchard’s orders to go back at once to the timber-ship and to search for the missing man. We were bound to do this for his sake, and for the sake of his wife, whose reason was despaired of by the doctors if something was not done to quiet her. We might be almost sure of finding the vessel still afloat, for her ladling of timber would keep her above water as long as her hull held together. If the man was on board—living or dead—he must be found and brought back. And if the weather continued to be moderate, there was no reason why the men, with proper assistance, should not bring the ship back, too, and (their master being quite willing) earn their share of the salvage with the officers of the yacht.
“We were gathered on deck and addressed by the sailing master as soon as he came back on board. He had Mr. Blanchard’s orders to return immediately to the timber ship and search for the missing man. We felt it was our duty to do this for his sake, and for the sake of his wife, whose mental state the doctors feared for if something wasn’t done to calm her. We could be fairly certain the vessel was still afloat, as her load of timber would keep her above water as long as her hull was intact. If the man was on board—alive or dead—he needed to be found and brought back. And if the weather stayed mild, there was no reason the crew, with the right help, couldn’t bring the ship back too, and (with their captain's full support) earn their share of the salvage alongside the yacht's officers.”
“Upon this the crew gave three cheers, and set to work forthwith to get the schooner to sea again. I was the only one of them who drew back from the enterprise. I told them the storm had upset me—I was ill, and wanted rest. They all looked me in the face as I passed through them on my way out of the yacht, but not a man of them spoke to me.
“After this, the crew let out three cheers and immediately got to work to take the schooner back to sea. I was the only one who hesitated about the plan. I told them the storm had unsettled me—I was feeling unwell and needed to rest. They all stared at me as I walked past them out of the yacht, but not one of them spoke to me.”
“I waited through that day at a tavern on the port for the first news from the wreck. It was brought toward night-fall by one of the pilot-boats which had taken part in the enterprise—a successful enterprise, as the event proved—for saving the abandoned ship. La Grace de Dieu had been discovered still floating, and the body of Ingleby had been found on board, drowned in the cabin. At dawn the next morning the dead man was brought back by the yacht; and on the same day the funeral took place in the Protestant cemetery.”
“I waited all day at a tavern by the port for the first news from the wreck. It arrived around sunset from one of the pilot boats involved in the operation—a successful operation, as it turned out—aimed at rescuing the abandoned ship. La Grace de Dieu had been found still afloat, and the body of Ingleby was discovered on board, drowned in the cabin. At dawn the next morning, the yacht brought back the deceased man; and on the same day, the funeral was held in the Protestant cemetery.”
“Stop!” said the voice from the bed, before the reader could turn to a new leaf and begin the next paragraph.
“Stop!” said the voice from the bed, before the reader could turn to a new page and start the next paragraph.
There was a change in the room, and there were changes in the audience, since Mr. Neal had last looked up from the narrative. A ray of sunshine was crossing the death-bed; and the child, overcome by drowsiness, lay peacefully asleep in the golden light. The father’s countenance had altered visibly. Forced into action by the tortured mind, the muscles of the lower face, which had never moved yet, were moving distortedly now. Warned by the damps gathering heavily on his forehead, the doctor had risen to revive the sinking man. On the other side of the bed the wife’s chair stood empty. At the moment when her husband had interrupted the reading, she had drawn back behind the bed head, out of his sight. Supporting herself against the wall, she stood there in hiding, her eyes fastened in hungering suspense on the manuscript in Mr. Neal’s hand.
There was a shift in the room, and the audience had also changed since Mr. Neal last glanced away from the story. A beam of sunlight was streaming across the deathbed, and the child, overcome by sleepiness, lay peacefully asleep in the golden light. The father’s face had changed noticeably. Driven by a tormented mind, the muscles in his lower face, which had never moved before, were now twisting strangely. Noticing the sweat forming heavily on his forehead, the doctor had gotten up to revive the fainting man. On the other side of the bed, the wife’s chair was empty. Just when her husband had interrupted the reading, she had stepped back behind the headboard, out of his sight. Leaning against the wall, she stood there hidden, her eyes fixed with eager anticipation on the manuscript in Mr. Neal’s hand.
In a minute more the silence was broken again by Mr. Armadale.
In a minute, Mr. Armadale broke the silence again.
“Where is she?” he asked, looking angrily at his wife’s empty chair. The doctor pointed to the place. She had no choice but to come forward. She came slowly and stood before him.
“Where is she?” he asked, glaring at his wife's empty chair. The doctor gestured to the spot. She had no option but to step forward. She approached slowly and stood in front of him.
“You promised to go when I told you,” he said. “Go now.”
“You promised to leave when I asked,” he said. “Leave now.”
Mr. Neal tried hard to control his hand as it kept his place between the leaves of the manuscripts but it trembled in spite of him. A suspicion which had been slowly forcing itself on his mind, while he was reading, became a certainty when he heard those words. From one revelation to another the letter had gone on, until it had now reached the brink of a last disclosure to come. At that brink the dying man had predetermined to silence the reader’s voice, before he had permitted his wife to hear the narrative read. There was the secret which the son was to know in after years, and which the mother was never to approach. From that resolution, his wife’s tenderest pleadings had never moved him an inch—and now, from his own lips, his wife knew it.
Mr. Neal struggled to keep his hand steady as it held his place in the manuscripts, but it shook despite his efforts. A thought that had been slowly creeping into his mind while he read became a certainty when he heard those words. The letter revealed one thing after another until it reached the point of a final revelation. At that moment, the dying man had decided to silence the reader's voice before allowing his wife to hear the story read aloud. There lay the secret the son would learn in the future, which the mother would never encounter. Despite his wife's most heartfelt pleas, he had never budged from that decision—and now, his wife knew it from his own words.
She made him no answer. She stood there and looked at him; looked her last entreaty—perhaps her last farewell. His eyes gave her back no answering glance: they wandered from her mercilessly to the sleeping boy. She turned speechless from the bed. Without a look at the child—without a word to the two strangers breathlessly watching her—she kept the promise she had given, and in dead silence left the room.
She didn’t reply. She stood there, looking at him; it was possibly her last plea—maybe her final goodbye. His gaze didn’t meet hers; it moved away from her relentlessly to the sleeping boy. She turned away from the bed without a word. Without even glancing at the child or acknowledging the two strangers who were watching her anxiously, she honored the promise she had made, and quietly left the room.
There was something in the manner of her departure which shook the self-possession of both the men who witnessed it. When the door closed on her, they recoiled instinctively from advancing further in the dark. The doctor’s reluctance was the first to express itself. He attempted to obtain the patient’s permission to withdraw until the letter was completed. The patient refused.
There was something about the way she left that rattled the composure of both men who saw it. When the door closed behind her, they instinctively stepped back from moving further into the darkness. The doctor's hesitation was the first to come through. He tried to get the patient’s permission to leave until the letter was finished. The patient said no.
Mr. Neal spoke next at greater length and to more serious purpose.
Mr. Neal spoke next, going into more detail and with a more serious intent.
“The doctor is accustomed in his profession,” he began, “and I am accustomed in mine, to have the secrets of others placed in our keeping. But it is my duty, before we go further, to ask if you really understand the extraordinary position which we now occupy toward one another. You have just excluded Mrs. Armadale, before our own eyes, from a place in your confidence. And you are now offering that same place to two men who are total strangers to you.”
“The doctor is used to it in his profession,” he started, “and I’m used to it in mine, having the secrets of others entrusted to us. But before we proceed, I need to ask if you fully grasp the unusual situation we’re in with each other. You just excluded Mrs. Armadale, right in front of us, from your trust. And now you’re offering that same trust to two men who don’t know you at all.”
“Yes,” said Mr. Armadale, “because you are strangers.”
“Yes,” said Mr. Armadale, “because you are strangers.”
Few as the words were, the inference to be drawn from them was not of a nature to set distrust at rest. Mr. Neal put it plainly into words.
Few as the words were, the implication of them was not something that inspired trust. Mr. Neal stated it clearly.
“You are in urgent need of my help and of the doctor’s help,” he said. “Am I to understand (so long as you secure our assistance) that the impression which the closing passages of this letter may produce on us is a matter of indifference to you?”
“You really need my help and the doctor’s help,” he said. “Should I take it that, as long as you get our support, the effect that the last part of this letter might have on us doesn’t matter to you?”
“Yes. I don’t spare you. I don’t spare myself. I do spare my wife.”
“Yes. I don't hold back with you. I don't hold back with myself. I do hold back with my wife.”
“You force me to a conclusion, sir, which is a very serious one,” said Mr. Neal. “If I am to finish this letter under your dictation, I must claim permission—having read aloud the greater part of it already—to read aloud what remains, in the hearing of this gentleman, as a witness.”
“You're making me reach a very serious conclusion, sir,” Mr. Neal said. “If I'm going to finish this letter based on your instructions, I need to ask for permission—since I've already read most of it out loud—to read the rest aloud in front of this gentleman, as a witness.”
“Read it.”
“Check it out.”
Gravely doubting, the doctor resumed his chair. Gravely doubting, Mr. Neal turned the leaf, and read the next words:
Grave doubts in his mind, the doctor sat back down. With serious doubts, Mr. Neal turned the page and read the next words:
“There is more to tell before I can leave the dead man to his rest. I have described the finding of his body. But I have not described the circumstances under which he met his death.
“There’s more to share before I can leave the dead man in peace. I’ve talked about finding his body. But I haven’t described the events that led to his death.
“He was known to have been on deck when the yacht’s boats were seen approaching the wreck; and he was afterward missed in the confusion caused by the panic of the crew. At that time the water was five feet deep in the cabin, and was rising fast. There was little doubt of his having gone down into that water of his own accord. The discovery of his wife’s jewel box, close under him, on the floor, explained his presence in the cabin. He was known to have seen help approaching, and it was quite likely that he had thereupon gone below to make an effort at saving the box. It was less probable—though it might still have been inferred—that his death was the result of some accident in diving, which had for the moment deprived him of his senses. But a discovery made by the yacht’s crew pointed straight to a conclusion which struck the men, one and all, with the same horror. When the course of their search brought them to the cabin, they found the scuttle bolted, and the door locked on the outside. Had some one closed the cabin, not knowing he was there? Setting the panic-stricken condition of the crew out of the question, there was no motive for closing the cabin before leaving the wreck. But one other conclusion remained. Had some murderous hand purposely locked the man in, and left him to drown as the water rose over him?
“He was known to have been on deck when the yacht’s boats were seen approaching the wreck; and he was later reported missing in the chaos caused by the crew's panic. At that time, the water in the cabin was five feet deep and rising quickly. There was little doubt that he had gone down into that water on his own. The discovery of his wife's jewelry box, lying on the floor right beneath him, explained why he was in the cabin. It was known that he had seen help coming, and it was very likely he had gone below to try to save the box. It was less probable—though still a possibility—that his death resulted from an accident while diving, which might have temporarily knocked him out. But a discovery made by the yacht’s crew pointed directly to a conclusion that struck all the men with the same horror. When their search led them to the cabin, they found the scuttle bolted and the door locked from the outside. Had someone closed the cabin without realizing he was there? Discounting the panic-stricken state of the crew, there was no reason to lock the cabin before leaving the wreck. But only one other conclusion remained. Had someone maliciously locked the man in and left him to drown as the water rose around him?
“Yes. A murderous hand had locked him in, and left him to drown. That hand was mine.”
“Yes. A deadly hand had trapped him inside, leaving him to drown. That hand was mine.”
The Scotchman started up from the table; the doctor shrank from the bedside. The two looked at the dying wretch, mastered by the same loathing, chilled by the same dread. He lay there, with his child’s head on his breast; abandoned by the sympathies of man, accursed by the justice of God—he lay there, in the isolation of Cain, and looked back at them.
The Scotsman jumped up from the table; the doctor recoiled from the bedside. The two stared at the dying man, sharing the same disgust, frozen by the same fear. He lay there, with a child’s head resting on his chest; forsaken by human compassion, condemned by divine justice—he lay there, in his solitude like Cain, and looked back at them.
At the moment when the two men rose to their feet, the door leading into the next room was shaken heavily on the outer side, and a sound like the sound of a fall, striking dull on their ears, silenced them both. Standing nearest to the door, the doctor opened it, passed through, and closed it instantly. Mr. Neal turned his back on the bed, and waited the event in silence. The sound, which had failed to awaken the child, had failed also to attract the father’s notice. His own words had taken him far from all that was passing at his deathbed. His helpless body was back on the wreck, and the ghost of his lifeless hand was turning the lock of the cabin door.
As the two men stood up, the door leading to the next room shook violently from the outside, and a dull thud echoed in their ears, silencing them both. The doctor, closest to the door, opened it, stepped through, and quickly shut it behind him. Mr. Neal turned away from the bed and waited in silence for what would happen next. The noise that failed to wake the child also went unnoticed by the father. His own thoughts had pulled him far away from everything happening at his dying moment. His powerless body was back on the wreck, and the ghost of his lifeless hand was turning the lock on the cabin door.
A bell rang in the next room—eager voices talked; hurried footsteps moved in it—an interval passed, and the doctor returned. “Was she listening?” whispered Mr. Neal, in German. “The women are restoring her,” the doctor whispered back. “She has heard it all. In God’s name, what are we to do next?” Before it was possible to reply, Mr. Armadale spoke. The doctor’s return had roused him to a sense of present things.
A bell rang in the next room—excited voices were chatting; quick footsteps moved around—some time passed, and the doctor came back. “Was she listening?” Mr. Neal whispered in German. “The women are taking care of her,” the doctor whispered back. “She has heard everything. For God’s sake, what do we do next?” Before anyone could respond, Mr. Armadale spoke up. The doctor’s return had brought him back to reality.
“Go on,” he said, as if nothing had happened.
“Go on,” he said, as if nothing had happened.
“I refuse to meddle further with your infamous secret,” returned Mr. Neal. “You are a murderer on your own confession. If that letter is to be finished, don’t ask me to hold the pen for you.”
“I won't get involved any more with your notorious secret,” Mr. Neal replied. “You’ve confessed to being a murderer. If that letter is going to be completed, don’t expect me to write it for you.”
“You gave me your promise,” was the reply, spoken with the same immovable self-possession. “You must write for me, or break your word.”
“You gave me your word,” was the response, said with the same unwavering confidence. “You have to write for me, or you’ll go back on your promise.”
For the moment, Mr. Neal was silenced. There the man lay—sheltered from the execration of his fellow-creatures, under the shadow of Death—beyond the reach of all human condemnation, beyond the dread of all mortal laws; sensitive to nothing but his one last resolution to finish the letter addressed to his son.
For now, Mr. Neal was quiet. There the man lay—protected from the hatred of others, in the shadow of Death—beyond the grasp of any human judgment, free from the fear of all earthly laws; aware of nothing except his final determination to finish the letter addressed to his son.
Mr. Neal drew the doctor aside. “A word with you,” he said, in German. “Do you persist in asserting that he may be speechless before we can send to Stuttgart?”
Mr. Neal pulled the doctor aside. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he said in German. “Do you still insist that he might be speechless before we can send someone to Stuttgart?”
“Look at his lips,” said the doctor, “and judge for yourself.”
“Check out his lips,” said the doctor, “and decide for yourself.”
His lips answered for him: the reading of the narrative had left its mark on them already. A distortion at the corners of his mouth, which had been barely noticeable when Mr. Neal entered the room, was plainly visible now. His slow articulation labored more and more painfully with every word he uttered. The position was emphatically a terrible one. After a moment more of hesitation, Mr. Neal made a last attempt to withdraw from it.
His lips spoke for him: the story he'd just heard had clearly affected them. A slight twist at the corners of his mouth, which had been barely noticeable when Mr. Neal walked in, was now clearly visible. His slow speech became more and more strained with each word he said. It was definitely a tough situation. After a moment of hesitation, Mr. Neal made one last effort to pull away from it.
“Now my eyes are open,” he said, sternly, “do you dare hold me to an engagement which you forced on me blindfold?”
“Now my eyes are open,” he said firmly, “do you really expect me to honor an engagement that you pressured me into without knowing what I was getting into?”
“No,” answered Mr. Armadale. “I leave you to break your word.”
“No,” Mr. Armadale replied. “I’m leaving it up to you to break your promise.”
The look which accompanied that reply stung the Scotchman’s pride to the quick. When he spoke next, he spoke seated in his former place at the table.
The expression that came with that response really hurt the Scotchman's pride. When he spoke again, he was sitting in his old spot at the table.
“No man ever yet said of me that I broke my word,” he retorted, angrily; “and not even you shall say it of me now. Mind this! If you hold me to my promise, I hold you to my condition. I have reserved my freedom of action, and I warn you I will use it at my own sole discretion, as soon as I am released from the sight of you.”
“No one has ever said I broke my word,” he shot back, angrily; “and not even you will say it of me now. Remember this! If you hold me to my promise, I expect you to stick to my condition. I’ve kept my freedom to act, and I warn you I’ll use it as I see fit the moment I’m away from you.”
“Remember he is dying,” pleaded the doctor, gently.
“Remember he is dying,” the doctor urged softly.
“Take your place, sir,” said Mr. Neal, pointing to the empty chair. “What remains to be read, I will only read in your hearing. What remains to be written, I will only write in your presence. You brought me here. I have a right to insist—and I do insist—on your remaining as a witness to the last.”
“Please take a seat, sir,” Mr. Neal said, gesturing to the empty chair. “I will only read the remaining parts in your presence. I will only write what’s left while you’re here. You brought me here. I have the right to insist—and I do insist—on you staying to witness the end.”
The doctor accepted his position without remonstrance. Mr. Neal returned to the manuscript, and read what remained of it uninterruptedly to the end:
The doctor accepted his position without protest. Mr. Neal went back to the manuscript and read the rest of it smoothly until the end:
“Without a word in my own defense, I have acknowledged my guilt. Without a word in my own defense, I will reveal how the crime was committed.
“Without saying a word in my own defense, I've admitted my guilt. Without saying a word in my own defense, I'll explain how the crime was committed.”
“No thought of him was in my mind, when I saw his wife insensible on the deck of the timber-ship. I did my part in lowering her safely into the boat. Then, and not till then, I felt the thought of him coming back. In the confusion that prevailed while the men of the yacht were forcing the men of the ship to wait their time, I had an opportunity of searching for him unobserved. I stepped back from the bulwark, not knowing whether he was away in the first boat, or whether he was still on board—I stepped back, and saw him mount the cabin stairs empty-handed, with the water dripping from him. After looking eagerly toward the boat (without noticing me), he saw there was time to spare before the crew were taken. ‘Once more!’ he said to himself—and disappeared again, to make a last effort at recovering the jewel box. The devil at my elbow whispered, ‘Don’t shoot him like a man: drown him like a dog!’ He was under water when I bolted the scuttle. But his head rose to the surface before I could close the cabin door. I looked at him, and he looked at me—and I locked the door in his face. The next minute, I was back among the last men left on deck. The minute after, it was too late to repent. The storm was threatening us with destruction, and the boat’s crew were pulling for their lives from the ship.
“I didn’t think about him at all when I saw his wife unconscious on the deck of the timber ship. I helped lower her safely into the boat. Only then did the thought of him come back to me. Amid the chaos while the yacht’s men were making the ship's crew wait their turn, I managed to look for him without being seen. I stepped away from the railing, unsure if he had left in the first boat or was still on board—I stepped back and saw him come up the cabin stairs empty-handed, water dripping off him. After glancing eagerly at the boat (not noticing me), he realized there was still time before the crew was taken. ‘One more time!’ he muttered to himself—and disappeared again, trying to retrieve the jewel box. A devilish thought whispered in my ear, ‘Don’t shoot him like a man: drown him like a dog!’ He was underwater when I bolted the hatch. But his head surfaced before I could close the cabin door. He looked at me, and I looked at him—and I locked the door in his face. The next moment, I was back with the last group of men on deck. The moment after that, it was too late to regret. The storm was threatening us with destruction, and the boat's crew were pulling for their lives away from the ship.”
“My son! I have pursued you from my grave with a confession which my love might have spared you. Read on, and you will know why.
“My son! I have followed you from beyond the grave with a confession that my love might have kept from you. Read on, and you will understand why."
“I will say nothing of my sufferings; I will plead for no mercy to my memory. There is a strange sinking at my heart, a strange trembling in my hand, while I write these lines, which warns me to hasten to the end. I left the island without daring to look for the last time at the woman whom I had lost so miserably, whom I had injured so vilely. When I left, the whole weight of the suspicion roused by the manner of Ingleby’s death rested on the crew of the French vessel. No motive for the supposed murder could be brought home to any of them; but they were known to be, for the most part, outlawed ruffians capable of any crime, and they were suspected and examined accordingly. It was not till afterward that I heard by accident of the suspicion shifting round at last to me. The widow alone recognized the vague description given of the strange man who had made one of the yacht’s crew, and who had disappeared the day afterward. The widow alone knew, from that time forth, why her husband had been murdered, and who had done the deed. When she made that discovery, a false report of my death had been previously circulated in the island. Perhaps I was indebted to the report for my immunity from all legal proceedings; perhaps (no eye but Ingleby’s having seen me lock the cabin door) there was not evidence enough to justify an inquiry; perhaps the widow shrank from the disclosures which must have followed a public charge against me, based on her own bare suspicion of the truth. However it might be, the crime which I had committed unseen has remained a crime unpunished from that time to this.
“I won’t talk about my sufferings; I won’t ask for any mercy for my memory. There’s a strange heaviness in my heart and a strange trembling in my hand as I write this, which tells me to hurry to the end. I left the island without daring to take a last look at the woman I had lost so painfully, whom I had harmed so cruelly. When I left, all the blame for Ingleby’s death rested on the crew of the French ship. No evidence of the supposed murder could be pinned on any of them, but they were mostly known to be outlaws capable of any crime, and they were treated with suspicion and questioned accordingly. It wasn’t until later that I accidentally found out the suspicion had shifted to me. The widow alone recognized the vague description of the strange man who had been part of the yacht's crew and had disappeared the next day. The widow was the only one who knew why her husband had been murdered and who was responsible. By the time she made that discovery, a false report of my death had already spread across the island. Maybe I owed my escape from any legal action to that report; maybe (since only Ingleby had seen me lock the cabin door) there wasn’t enough evidence to warrant an investigation; or perhaps the widow didn’t want the revelations that would come from a public accusation against me based solely on her suspicions. Whatever the case, the unseen crime I committed has remained unpunished from that time until now.”
“I left Madeira for the West Indies in disguise. The first news that met me when the ship touched at Barbadoes was the news of my mother’s death. I had no heart to return to the old scenes. The prospect of living at home in solitude, with the torment of my own guilty remembrances gnawing at me day and night, was more than I had the courage to confront. Without landing, or discovering myself to any one on shore, I went on as far as the ship would take me—to the island of Trinidad.
“I left Madeira for the West Indies in disguise. The first news I received when the ship docked in Barbados was about my mother’s death. I couldn’t bear the thought of returning to familiar places. The idea of living at home alone, haunted by my own guilty memories day and night, was more than I could handle. Without getting off the ship or revealing my identity to anyone onshore, I traveled as far as the ship would take me—to the island of Trinidad.”
“At that place I first saw your mother. It was my duty to tell her the truth—and I treacherously kept my secret. It was my duty to spare her the hopeless sacrifice of her freedom and her happiness to such an existence as mine—and I did her the injury of marrying her. If she is alive when you read this, grant her the mercy of still concealing the truth. The one atonement I can make to her is to keep her unsuspicious to the last of the man she has married. Pity her, as I have pitied her. Let this letter be a sacred confidence between father and son.
“At that place I first saw your mother. It was my responsibility to tell her the truth—and I deceitfully kept my secret. It was my responsibility to spare her the hopeless sacrifice of her freedom and happiness for a life like mine—and I did her the wrong of marrying her. If she is still alive when you read this, please show her the mercy of keeping the truth hidden. The only way I can make up for my actions is to keep her unaware of the man she has married until the end. Have compassion for her, as I have had compassion for her. Let this letter be a private understanding between father and son.”
“The time when you were born was the time when my health began to give way. Some months afterward, in the first days of my recovery, you were brought to me; and I was told that you had been christened during my illness. Your mother had done as other loving mothers do—she had christened her first-born by his father’s name. You, too, were Allan Armadale. Even in that early time—even while I was happily ignorant of what I have discovered since—my mind misgave me when I looked at you, and thought of that fatal name.
“The time you were born was when my health started to decline. A few months later, during the early days of my recovery, you were brought to me, and I was told that you had been baptized while I was ill. Your mother had done what many loving mothers do—she had named her first-born after his father. You, too, were Allan Armadale. Even back then—even while I was blissfully unaware of what I've learned since—I felt uneasy when I looked at you and thought about that ominous name.”
“As soon as I could be moved, my presence was required at my estates in Barbadoes. It crossed my mind—wild as the idea may appear to you—to renounce the condition which compelled my son as well as myself to take the Armadale name, or lose the succession to the Armadale property. But, even in those days, the rumor of a contemplated emancipation of the slaves—the emancipation which is now close at hand—was spreading widely in the colony. No man could tell how the value of West Indian property might be affected if that threatened change ever took place. No man could tell—if I gave you back my own paternal name, and left you without other provision in the future than my own paternal estate—how you might one day miss the broad Armadale acres, or to what future penury I might be blindly condemning your mother and yourself. Mark how the fatalities gathered one on the other! Mark how your Christian name came to you, how your surname held to you, in spite of me!
"As soon as I was able to move, I was needed at my estates in Barbados. It occurred to me—no matter how crazy this might sound to you—that I could give up the requirement for both my son and me to take the Armadale name or lose the right to the Armadale property. But even back then, rumors about a possible emancipation of the slaves—the emancipation that is now almost here—were spreading rapidly throughout the colony. No one knew how the value of West Indian property might be impacted if that expected change actually happened. No one could predict—if I returned my own family name to you and left you without any other support for the future except my own family estate—how you might one day regret the loss of the vast Armadale lands, or what kind of future hardship I might be unknowingly setting your mother and you up for. Just see how the misfortunes piled up one after another! Just see how your first name came to you, how your last name stuck with you, despite me!"
“My health had improved in my old home—but it was for a time only. I sank again, and the doctors ordered me to Europe. Avoiding England (why, you may guess), I took my passage, with you and your mother, for France. From France we passed into Italy. We lived here; we lived there. It was useless. Death had got met and Death followed me, go where I might. I bore it, for I had an alleviation to turn to which I had not deserved. You may shrink in horror from the very memory of me now. In those days, you comforted me. The only warmth I still felt at my heart was the warmth you brought to it. My last glimpses of happiness in this world were the glimpses given me by my infant son.
“My health had gotten better in my old home—but it was only for a while. I declined again, and the doctors told me to go to Europe. Avoiding England (you can guess why), I booked my passage, along with you and your mother, to France. From France, we moved on to Italy. We lived here; we lived there. It was pointless. Death had found me, and Death followed me wherever I went. I endured it because I had a comfort to lean on that I didn’t deserve. You might shudder at the thought of me now. Back then, you were my source of comfort. The only warmth I still felt in my heart was the warmth you gave me. My last moments of happiness in this world were the moments I shared with my infant son.”
“We removed from Italy, and went next to Lausanne—the place from which I am now writing to you. The post of this morning has brought me news, later and fuller than any I had received thus far, of the widow of the murdered man. The letter lies before me while I write. It comes from a friend of my early days, who has seen her, and spoken to her—who has been the first to inform her that the report of my death in Madeira was false. He writes, at a loss to account for the violent agitation which she showed on hearing that I was still alive, that I was married, and that I had an infant son. He asks me if I can explain it. He speaks in terms of sympathy for her—a young and beautiful woman, buried in the retirement of a fishing-village on the Devonshire coast; her father dead; her family estranged from her, in merciless disapproval of her marriage. He writes words which might have cut me to the heart, but for a closing passage in his letter, which seized my whole attention the instant I came to it, and which has forced from me the narrative that these pages contain.
“We left Italy and went next to Lausanne—the place from which I'm writing to you now. This morning's mail brought me news, more detailed and later than anything I’ve received so far, about the widow of the murdered man. The letter is in front of me as I write. It comes from a friend from my early days, who has seen her and talked to her—who was the first to tell her that the report of my death in Madeira was false. He writes, puzzled by the intense reaction she had upon hearing that I was still alive, that I was married, and that I had a baby son. He asks if I can explain it. He expresses sympathy for her—a young and beautiful woman living in seclusion in a fishing village on the Devonshire coast; her father is dead; her family is estranged from her, harshly disapproving of her marriage. He writes things that might have deeply hurt me, if not for a concluding part of his letter that grabbed my full attention as soon as I read it and prompted the story that these pages contain.”
“I now know what never even entered my mind as a suspicion till the letter reached me. I now know that the widow of the man whose death lies at my door has borne a posthumous child. That child is a boy—a year older than my own son. Secure in her belief in my death, his mother has done what my son’s mother did: she has christened her child by his father’s name. Again, in the second generation, there are two Allan Armadales as there were in the first. After working its deadly mischief with the fathers, the fatal resemblance of names has descended to work its deadly mischief with the sons.
“I now realize something that never even crossed my mind as a possibility until the letter arrived. I now know that the widow of the man whose death is my responsibility has given birth to a posthumous child. That child is a boy—one year older than my own son. Believing firmly in my death, his mother has done what my son’s mother did: she has named her child after his father. Once again, in the second generation, there are two Allan Armadales just like there were in the first. After wreaking its devastating chaos on the fathers, the unfortunate similarity of names has now come to bring its ruin to the sons.
“Guiltless minds may see nothing thus far but the result of a series of events which could lead no other way. I—with that man’s life to answer for—I, going down into my grave, with my crime unpunished and unatoned, see what no guiltless minds can discern. I see danger in the future, begotten of the danger in the past—treachery that is the offspring of his treachery, and crime that is the child of my crime. Is the dread that now shakes me to the soul a phantom raised by the superstition of a dying man? I look into the Book which all Christendom venerates, and the Book tells me that the sin of the father shall be visited on the child. I look out into the world, and I see the living witnesses round me to that terrible truth. I see the vices which have contaminated the father descending, and contaminating the child; I see the shame which has disgraced the father’s name descending, and disgracing the child’s. I look in on myself, and I see my crime ripening again for the future in the self-same circumstance which first sowed the seeds of it in the past, and descending, in inherited contamination of evil, from me to my son.”
“Clear-headed people might only see the outcome of a series of events that couldn’t have turned out any other way. I—responsible for that man’s life—I, facing my own death, with my crime unpunished and unatoned, perceive what innocent minds cannot grasp. I see a future filled with danger, born from the dangers of the past—betrayal that stems from his betrayal, and crime that is the offspring of my crime. Is the fear that now grips me to my core just a delusion created by a superstitious dying man? I look into the Book that all of Christendom holds sacred, and it tells me that the sins of the father will affect the child. I look out into the world, and I see living proof of that awful truth around me. I see the vices that corrupted the father now passing down and corrupting the child; I see the shame that has sullied the father’s name now descending and bringing shame to the child’s. I examine myself, and I see my crime ripening again for the future, in the same conditions that first planted the seeds of it in the past, and passing down, in an inherited contamination of evil, from me to my son.”
At those lines the writing ended. There the stroke had struck him, and the pen had dropped from his hand.
At those lines, the writing stopped. That’s where the stroke hit him, and the pen fell from his hand.
He knew the place; he remembered the words. At the instant when the reader’s voice stopped, he looked eagerly at the doctor. “I have got what comes next in my mind,” he said, with slower and slower articulation. “Help me to speak it.”
He knew the place; he recalled the words. The moment the reader's voice paused, he eagerly looked at the doctor. “I have what comes next in my mind,” he said, his speech becoming slower. “Help me say it.”
The doctor administered a stimulant, and signed to Mr. Neal to give him time. After a little delay, the flame of the sinking spirit leaped up in his eyes once more. Resolutely struggling with his failing speech, he summoned the Scotchman to take the pen, and pronounced the closing sentences of the narrative, as his memory gave them back to him, one by one, in these words:
The doctor gave him a stimulant and signaled to Mr. Neal to give him some time. After a brief pause, the spark of his once-diminished spirit returned to his eyes. Determined to fight through his shaky speech, he called the Scotchman to take the pen and recited the final sentences of the story as they came back to him, one by one, in these words:
“Despise my dying conviction if you will, but grant me, I solemnly implore you, one last request. My son! the only hope I have left for you hangs on a great doubt—the doubt whether we are, or are not, the masters of our own destinies. It may be that mortal free-will can conquer mortal fate; and that going, as we all do, inevitably to death, we go inevitably to nothing that is before death. If this be so, indeed, respect—though you respect nothing else—the warning which I give you from my grave. Never, to your dying day, let any living soul approach you who is associated, directly or indirectly, with the crime which your father has committed. Avoid the widow of the man I killed—if the widow still lives. Avoid the maid whose wicked hand smoothed the way to the marriage—if the maid is still in her service. And more than all, avoid the man who bears the same name as your own. Offend your best benefactor, if that benefactor’s influence has connected you one with the other. Desert the woman who loves you, if that woman is a link between you and him. Hide yourself from him under an assumed name. Put the mountains and the seas between you; be ungrateful, be unforgiving; be all that is most repellent to your own gentler nature, rather than live under the same roof, and breathe the same air, with that man. Never let the two Allan Armadales meet in this world: never, never, never!
“Disregard my dying belief if you must, but please, I earnestly ask you for one last favor. My son! The only hope I have left for you relies on a huge uncertainty—the uncertainty of whether we are or aren’t the masters of our own fates. It could be that human free will can overcome human destiny; that as we all inevitably move toward death, we also move inevitably into nothingness after death. If this is true, then, respect—though you may respect nothing else—the warning I give you from my grave. Never, for the rest of your life, let any living person near you who is connected, directly or indirectly, to the crime your father committed. Stay away from the widow of the man I killed—if she’s still alive. Stay away from the maid whose wicked hand helped facilitate the marriage—if she’s still in service. And most importantly, avoid the man who shares your name. Displease your best benefactor, even if their influence has linked you two. Abandon the woman who loves you, if she connects you to him. Hide your identity from him under a false name. Place mountains and oceans between you; be ungrateful, be unforgiving; be everything that goes against your kinder nature rather than live under the same roof and share the same air with that man. Never let the two Allan Armadales meet in this world: never, never, never!
“There lies the way by which you may escape—if any way there be. Take it, if you prize your own innocence and your own happiness, through all your life to come!
“There lies the way for you to escape—if there is an escape at all. Take it, if you value your own innocence and happiness for the rest of your life!”
“I have done. If I could have trusted any weaker influence than the influence of this confession to incline you to my will, I would have spared you the disclosure which these pages contain. You are lying on my breast, sleeping the innocent sleep of a child, while a stranger’s hand writes these words for you as they fall from my lips. Think what the strength of my conviction must be, when I can find the courage, on my death-bed, to darken all your young life at its outset with the shadow of your father’s crime. Think, and be warned. Think, and forgive me if you can.”
“I’ve done it. If I could have trusted any weaker influence than the power of this confession to sway you to my wishes, I would have spared you the truth contained in these pages. You’re lying on my chest, sleeping the innocent sleep of a child, while a stranger’s hand writes these words for you as they come from my lips. Consider how strong my conviction must be, when I can gather the courage, on my deathbed, to taint all your young life at the beginning with the shadow of your father’s crime. Reflect on this, and be warned. Think, and forgive me if you can.”
There it ended. Those were the father’s last words to the son.
There it ended. Those were the father's last words to the son.
Inexorably faithful to his forced duty, Mr. Neal laid aside the pen, and read over aloud the lines he had just written. “Is there more to add?” he asked, with his pitilessly steady voice. There was no more to add.
Inexorably faithful to his forced duty, Mr. Neal set down the pen and read aloud the lines he had just written. “Is there more to add?” he asked, his voice unyielding. There was nothing more to add.
Mr. Neal folded the manuscript, inclosed it in a sheet of paper, and sealed it with Mr. Armadale’s own seal. “The address?” he said, with his merciless business formality. “To Allan Armadale, junior,” he wrote, as the words were dictated from the bed. “Care of Godfrey Hammick, Esq., Offices of Messrs. Hammick and Ridge, Lincoln’s Inn Fields, London.” Having written the address, he waited, and considered for a moment. “Is your executor to open this?” he asked.
Mr. Neal folded the manuscript, wrapped it in a sheet of paper, and sealed it with Mr. Armadale’s own seal. “What’s the address?” he asked, with his ruthless business formality. “To Allan Armadale, junior,” he wrote, as the words were spoken from the bed. “Care of Godfrey Hammick, Esq., Offices of Messrs. Hammick and Ridge, Lincoln’s Inn Fields, London.” After writing the address, he paused for a moment to think. “Should your executor open this?” he asked.
“No! he is to give it to my son when my son is of an age to understand it.”
“No! He’s supposed to give it to my son when my son is old enough to understand it.”
“In that case,” pursued Mr. Neal, with all his wits in remorseless working order, “I will add a dated note to the address, repeating your own words as you have just spoken them, and explaining the circumstances under which my handwriting appears on the document.” He wrote the note in the briefest and plainest terms, read it over aloud as he had read over what went before, signed his name and address at the end, and made the doctor sign next, as witness of the proceedings, and as medical evidence of the condition in which Mr. Armadale then lay. This done, he placed the letter in a second inclosure, sealed it as before, and directed it to Mr. Hammick, with the superscription of “private” added to the address. “Do you insist on my posting this?” he asked, rising with the letter in his hand.
“In that case,” Mr. Neal continued, with all his wits fully engaged, “I’ll add a dated note to the address, repeating your own words as you just said them, and explaining the circumstances under which my handwriting appears on the document.” He wrote the note in the simplest and clearest terms, read it aloud as he had done with the previous content, signed his name and address at the end, and had the doctor sign next as a witness to the proceedings and as medical evidence of Mr. Armadale’s condition at that time. Once that was done, he placed the letter in a second envelope, sealed it as before, and addressed it to Mr. Hammick, adding “private” to the address. “Do you want me to mail this?” he asked, standing up with the letter in hand.
“Give him time to think,” said the doctor. “For the child’s sake, give him time to think! A minute may change him.”
“Give him some time to think,” said the doctor. “For the child's sake, give him time! A minute could change everything for him.”
“I will give him five minutes,” answered Mr. Neal, placing his watch on the table, implacable just to the very last.
“I’ll give him five minutes,” replied Mr. Neal, putting his watch on the table, unyielding to the very end.
They waited, both looking attentively at Mr. Armadale. The signs of change which had appeared in him already were multiplying fast. The movement which continued mental agitation had communicated to the muscles of his face was beginning, under the same dangerous influence, to spread downward. His once helpless hands lay still no longer; they struggled pitiably on the bedclothes. At sight of that warning token, the doctor turned with a gesture of alarm, and beckoned Mr. Neal to come nearer. “Put the question at once,” he said; “if you let the five minutes pass, you may be too late.”
They waited, both watching Mr. Armadale closely. The signs of change in him were increasing rapidly. The restlessness that his mental turmoil had caused in his facial muscles was starting, under the same troubling influence, to spread downward. His once limp hands were no longer still; they were struggling weakly on the bedclothes. Seeing that warning sign, the doctor turned with a look of concern and signaled for Mr. Neal to come closer. “Ask the question right now,” he said; “if you let five minutes go by, it might be too late.”
Mr. Neal approached the bed. He, too, noticed the movement of the hands. “Is that a bad sign?” he asked.
Mr. Neal walked over to the bed. He also saw the movement of the hands. “Is that a bad sign?” he asked.
The doctor bent his head gravely. “Put your question at once,” he repeated, “or you may be too late.”
The doctor lowered his head seriously. “Go ahead and ask your question now,” he repeated, “or you might miss your chance.”
Mr. Neal held the letter before the eyes of the dying man “Do you know what this is?”
Mr. Neal held the letter up to the dying man's eyes. “Do you know what this is?”
“My letter.”
"My letter."
“Do you insist on my posting it?”
“Do you really want me to post it?”
He mastered his failing speech for the last time, and gave the answer: “Yes!”
He nailed his stumbling words one last time and responded: “Yes!”
Mr. Neal moved to the door, with the letter in his hand. The German followed him a few steps, opened his lips to plead for a longer delay, met the Scotchman’s inexorable eye, and drew back again in silence. The door closed and parted them, without a word having passed on either side.
Mr. Neal walked to the door, holding the letter. The German followed him a few steps, opened his mouth to ask for more time, met the Scotchman's unyielding gaze, and fell silent. The door closed between them, with not a single word exchanged on either side.
The doctor went back to the bed and whispered to the sinking man: “Let me call him back; there is time to stop him yet!” It was useless. No answer came; nothing showed that he heeded, or even heard. His eyes wandered from the child, rested for a moment on his own struggling hand, and looked up entreatingly in the compassionate face that bent over him. The doctor lifted the hand, paused, followed the father’s longing eyes back to the child, and, interpreting his last wish, moved the hand gently toward the boy’s head. The hand touched it, and trembled violently. In another instant the trembling seized on the arm, and spread over the whole upper part of the body. The face turned from pale to red, from red to purple, from purple to pale again. Then the toiling hands lay still, and the shifting color changed no more.
The doctor returned to the bed and whispered to the fading man, “Let me call him back; there’s still time to stop him!” It was pointless. There was no response; nothing indicated that he was aware or even listening. His eyes drifted from the child, lingered for a moment on his own struggling hand, and then looked up hopefully at the compassionate face hovering above him. The doctor lifted the hand, hesitated, then followed the father’s yearning gaze back to the child, and, understanding his final wish, gently moved the hand toward the boy’s head. The hand made contact and trembled intensely. In an instant, the trembling spread to the arm and throughout the entire upper body. The face shifted from pale to red, then to purple, and back to pale again. Finally, the restless hands lay still, and the changing colors ceased.
The window of the next room was open, when the doctor entered it from the death chamber, with the child in his arms. He looked out as he passed by, and saw Mr. Neal in the street below, slowly returning to the inn.
The window of the next room was open when the doctor walked in from the death chamber, holding the child in his arms. He looked out as he passed by and saw Mr. Neal in the street below, slowly making his way back to the inn.
“Where is the letter?” he asked.
“Where's the letter?” he asked.
Three words sufficed for the Scotchman’s answer.
Three words were enough for the Scotsman's reply.
“In the post.”
“In the mail.”
THE END OF THE PROLOGUE.
THE END OF THE INTRO.
THE STORY.
BOOK THE FIRST.
I. THE MYSTERY OF OZIAS MIDWINTER.
ON a warm May night, in the year eighteen hundred and fifty-one, the Reverend Decimus Brock—at that time a visitor to the Isle of Man—retired to his bedroom at Castletown, with a serious personal responsibility in close pursuit of him, and with no distinct idea of the means by which he might relieve himself from the pressure of his present circumstances.
ON a warm May night, in the year 1851, the Reverend Decimus Brock—who was visiting the Isle of Man—went to his bedroom in Castletown, feeling the weight of a serious personal responsibility following him, and having no clear idea of how to escape the pressure of his current situation.
The clergyman had reached that mature period of human life at which a sensible man learns to decline (as often as his temper will let him) all useless conflict with the tyranny of his own troubles. Abandoning any further effort to reach a decision in the emergency that now beset him, Mr. Brock sat down placidly in his shirt sleeves on the side of his bed, and applied his mind to consider next whether the emergency itself was as serious as he had hitherto been inclined to think it. Following this new way out of his perplexities, Mr. Brock found himself unexpectedly traveling to the end in view by the least inspiriting of all human journeys—a journey through the past years of his own life.
The clergyman had reached that mature stage of life when a wise person learns to avoid, as much as possible, unnecessary conflicts with the burdens of his own troubles. Giving up on trying to make a decision about the crisis he was facing, Mr. Brock sat down calmly in his shirtsleeves on the edge of his bed and started to think about whether the crisis was really as serious as he had initially thought. By taking this new approach to his confusion, Mr. Brock found himself unexpectedly embarking on the least exciting of all journeys—a journey through the past years of his own life.
One by one the events of those years—all connected with the same little group of characters, and all more or less answerable for the anxiety which was now intruding itself between the clergyman and his night’s rest—rose, in progressive series, on Mr. Brock’s memory. The first of the series took him back, through a period of fourteen years, to his own rectory on the Somersetshire shores of the Bristol Channel, and closeted him at a private interview with a lady who had paid him a visit in the character of a total stranger to the parson and the place.
One by one, the events of those years—all tied to the same small group of characters, and all somewhat responsible for the anxiety that was now creeping between the clergyman and his night's sleep—came back to Mr. Brock’s mind. The first event took him back, through a span of fourteen years, to his own rectory on the Somersetshire shores of the Bristol Channel, where he found himself in a private meeting with a woman who had come to see him as a complete stranger to both him and the place.
The lady’s complexion was fair, the lady’s figure was well preserved; she was still a young woman, and she looked even younger than her age. There was a shade of melancholy in her expression, and an undertone of suffering in her voice—enough, in each case, to indicate that she had known trouble, but not enough to obtrude that trouble on the notice of others. She brought with her a fine, fair-haired boy of eight years old, whom she presented as her son, and who was sent out of the way, at the beginning of the interview, to amuse himself in the rectory garden. Her card had preceded her entrance into the study, and had announced her under the name of “Mrs. Armadale.” Mr. Brock began to feel interested in her before she had opened her lips; and when the son had been dismissed, he awaited with some anxiety to hear what the mother had to say to him.
The woman had a fair complexion and a well-maintained figure; she was still young and looked even younger than her actual age. There was a hint of sadness in her expression and a trace of pain in her voice—enough to show she had experienced trouble, but not so much that it burdened others. She brought along a nice, fair-haired boy of eight, whom she introduced as her son, and he was sent to play in the rectory garden at the start of their meeting. Her card had arrived before her, announcing her as “Mrs. Armadale.” Mr. Brock found himself intrigued by her even before she spoke, and once her son was out of the way, he waited anxiously to hear what the mother had to say.
Mrs. Armadale began by informing the rector that she was a widow. Her husband had perished by shipwreck a short time after their union, on the voyage from Madeira to Lisbon. She had been brought to England, after her affliction, under her father’s protection; and her child—a posthumous son—had been born on the family estate in Norfolk. Her father’s death, shortly afterward, had deprived her of her only surviving parent, and had exposed her to neglect and misconstruction on the part of her remaining relatives (two brothers), which had estranged her from them, she feared, for the rest of her days. For some time past she had lived in the neighboring county of Devonshire, devoting herself to the education of her boy, who had now reached an age at which he required other than his mother’s teaching. Leaving out of the question her own unwillingness to part with him, in her solitary position, she was especially anxious that he should not be thrown among strangers by being sent to school. Her darling project was to bring him up privately at home, and to keep him, as he advanced in years, from all contact with the temptations and the dangers of the world.
Mrs. Armadale started by telling the rector that she was a widow. Her husband had died in a shipwreck soon after they got married, during the trip from Madeira to Lisbon. After her loss, she was brought to England under her father’s care; her child—a posthumous son—was born on the family estate in Norfolk. Her father’s death shortly after left her without her only surviving parent, exposing her to neglect and misunderstanding from her remaining relatives (two brothers), which she feared would alienate her from them for the rest of her life. For a while now, she had been living in the neighboring county of Devonshire, focusing on her son's education, who had now reached an age where he needed more than just his mother’s instruction. Putting aside her own reluctance to let him go, in her isolated situation, she was particularly worried that he wouldn’t be sent to school and thrown in with strangers. Her cherished plan was to raise him privately at home and to keep him, as he grew older, away from the temptations and dangers of the outside world.
With these objects in view, her longer sojourn in her own locality (where the services of the resident clergyman, in the capacity of tutor, were not obtainable) must come to an end. She had made inquiries, had heard of a house that would suit her in Mr. Brock’s neighborhood, and had also been told that Mr. Brock himself had formerly been in the habit of taking pupils. Possessed of this information, she had ventured to present herself, with references that vouched for her respectability, but without a formal introduction; and she had now to ask whether (in the event of her residing in the neighborhood) any terms that could be offered would induce Mr. Brock to open his doors once more to a pupil, and to allow that pupil to be her son.
With these things in mind, her longer stay in her own area (where she couldn't get the help of the local clergyman as a tutor) had to come to an end. She had made inquiries, heard about a house that would work for her near Mr. Brock, and was also informed that Mr. Brock used to take on students. Having this information, she took the chance to introduce herself, providing references that confirmed her respectability, but without a formal introduction; now she needed to ask whether, if she moved to the area, any terms offered would convince Mr. Brock to take on a student again and allow that student to be her son.
If Mrs. Armadale had been a woman of no personal attractions, or if Mr. Brock had been provided with an intrenchment to fight behind in the shape of a wife, it is probable that the widow’s journey might have been taken in vain. As things really were, the rector examined the references which were offered to him, and asked time for consideration. When the time had expired, he did what Mrs. Armadale wished him to do—he offered his back to the burden, and let the mother load him with the responsibility of the son.
If Mrs. Armadale hadn't been an attractive woman, or if Mr. Brock had had a defensive position to rely on, like a wife, it's likely that the widow's trip would have been pointless. As it actually happened, the rector reviewed the references he received and requested time to think it over. Once that time was up, he did exactly what Mrs. Armadale wanted—he took on the burden and allowed the mother to place the responsibility of her son on him.
This was the first event of the series; the date of it being the year eighteen hundred and thirty-seven. Mr. Brock’s memory, traveling forward toward the present from that point, picked up the second event in its turn, and stopped next at the year eighteen hundred and forty-five.
This was the first event of the series, which took place in eighteen thirty-seven. Mr. Brock’s memory, moving forward to the present from that time, noted the second event next, stopping at eighteen forty-five.
——————
Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.
The fishing-village on the Somersetshire coast was still the scene, and the characters were once again—Mrs. Armadale and her son.
The fishing village on the Somerset coast was still the setting, and the characters were once again—Mrs. Armadale and her son.
Through the eight years that had passed, Mr. Brock’s responsibility had rested on him lightly enough. The boy had given his mother and his tutor but little trouble. He was certainly slow over his books, but more from a constitutional inability to fix his attention on his tasks than from want of capacity to understand them. His temperament, it could not be denied, was heedless to the last degree: he acted recklessly on his first impulses, and rushed blindfold at all his conclusions. On the other hand, it was to be said in his favor that his disposition was open as the day; a more generous, affectionate, sweet-tempered lad it would have been hard to find anywhere. A certain quaint originality of character, and a natural healthiness in all his tastes, carried him free of most of the dangers to which his mother’s system of education inevitably exposed him. He had a thoroughly English love of the sea and of all that belongs to it; and as he grew in years, there was no luring him away from the water-side, and no keeping him out of the boat-builder’s yard. In course of time his mother caught him actually working there, to her infinite annoyance and surprise, as a volunteer. He acknowledged that his whole future ambition was to have a yard of his own, and that his one present object was to learn to build a boat for himself. Wisely foreseeing that such a pursuit as this for his leisure hours was exactly what was wanted to reconcile the lad to a position of isolation from companions of his own rank and age, Mr. Brock prevailed on Mrs. Armadale, with no small difficulty, to let her son have his way. At the period of that second event in the clergyman’s life with his pupil which is now to be related, young Armadale had practiced long enough in the builder’s yard to have reached the summit of his wishes, by laying with his own hands the keel of his own boat.
Over the eight years that passed, Mr. Brock’s responsibility felt light on him. The boy had caused his mother and his tutor little trouble. He was definitely slow with his studies, but more because he struggled to focus on his tasks than due to a lack of understanding. It couldn’t be denied that his temperament was careless to the extreme: he acted impulsively and rushed headlong into all his conclusions. On the bright side, he had an open and generous personality; it would be hard to find a more affectionate and kind-hearted boy anywhere. His unique character and healthy interests kept him mostly safe from the dangers his mother’s educational methods often exposed him to. He had a genuine English love for the sea and everything related to it; as he grew older, nothing could pull him away from the water or keep him out of the boat-builder’s yard. Eventually, his mother found him actually working there, which surprised and annoyed her greatly, as a volunteer. He admitted that his biggest dream for the future was to have his own yard, and that his current goal was to learn how to build a boat for himself. Understanding that this kind of hobby would help him cope with being isolated from friends his own age, Mr. Brock managed, with considerable difficulty, to convince Mrs. Armadale to let her son pursue this interest. At the time of the next significant event in the clergyman’s life with his pupil, young Armadale had spent enough time in the builder’s yard to fulfill his dream of laying the keel of his own boat with his own hands.
Late on a certain summer day, not long after Allan had completed his sixteenth year, Mr. Brock left his pupil hard at work in the yard, and went to spend the evening with Mrs. Armadale, taking the Times newspaper with him in his hand.
Late one summer day, not long after Allan had turned sixteen, Mr. Brock left his student working hard in the yard and went to spend the evening with Mrs. Armadale, taking the Times newspaper with him.
The years that had passed since they had first met had long since regulated the lives of the clergyman and his neighbor. The first advances which Mr. Brock’s growing admiration for the widow had led him to make in the early days of their intercourse had been met on her side by an appeal to his forbearance which had closed his lips for the future. She had satisfied him, at once and forever, that the one place in her heart which he could hope to occupy was the place of a friend. He loved her well enough to take what she would give him: friends they became, and friends they remained from that time forth. No jealous dread of another man’s succeeding where he had failed imbittered the clergyman’s placid relations with the woman whom he loved. Of the few resident gentlemen in the neighborhood, none were ever admitted by Mrs. Armadale to more than the merest acquaintance with her. Contentedly self-buried in her country retreat, she was proof against every social attraction that would have tempted other women in her position and at her age. Mr. Brock and his newspaper, appearing with monotonous regularity at her tea-table three times a week, told her all she knew or cared to know of the great outer world which circled round the narrow and changeless limits of her daily life.
The years since their first meeting had shaped the lives of the clergyman and his neighbor. Initially, Mr. Brock’s growing admiration for the widow led him to make advances that she countered with a request for him to respect her boundaries, which made him silent on the subject in the future. She made it clear that the only role he could hope to have in her heart was that of a friend. He cared for her enough to accept what she offered: they became friends, and that’s how it stayed. The clergyman’s calm relationship with the woman he loved wasn’t spoiled by any jealousy over another man stepping in where he had not succeeded. Among the few gentlemen in the area, none were allowed by Mrs. Armadale to become more than casual acquaintances. Happily isolated in her countryside home, she resisted any social temptations that might have drawn in other women her age. Mr. Brock and his newspaper, showing up regularly at her tea table three times a week, provided her with all the knowledge she wanted about the larger world outside the small, unchanging boundaries of her daily life.
On the evening in question Mr. Brock took the arm-chair in which he always sat, accepted the one cup of tea which he always drank, and opened the newspaper which he always read aloud to Mrs. Armadale, who invariably listened to him reclining on the same sofa, with the same sort of needle-work everlastingly in her hand.
On the evening in question, Mr. Brock settled into his usual armchair, accepted the single cup of tea he always enjoyed, and opened the newspaper he regularly read aloud to Mrs. Armadale, who consistently listened while reclining on the same sofa, with the same type of needlework constantly in her hands.
“Bless my soul!” cried the rector, with his voice in a new octave, and his eyes fixed in astonishment on the first page of the newspaper.
“Good grief!” exclaimed the rector, his voice pitched higher, and his eyes wide in disbelief as he stared at the first page of the newspaper.
No such introduction to the evening readings as this had ever happened before in all Mrs. Armadale’s experience as a listener. She looked up from the sofa in a flutter of curiosity, and besought her reverend friend to favor her with an explanation.
No introduction to the evening readings had ever occurred like this in all of Mrs. Armadale's experience as a listener. She looked up from the sofa, filled with curiosity, and asked her reverend friend to provide her with an explanation.
“I can hardly believe my own eyes,” said Mr. Brock. “Here is an advertisement, Mrs. Armadale, addressed to your son.”
“I can barely believe my eyes,” said Mr. Brock. “Here’s an advertisement, Mrs. Armadale, addressed to your son.”
Without further preface, he read the advertisement as follows:
Without further ado, he read the advertisement as follows:
IF this should meet the eye of ALLAN ARMADALE, he is desired to communicate, either personally or by letter, with Messrs. Hammick and Ridge (Lincoln’s Inn Fields, London), on business of importance which seriously concerns him. Any one capable of informing Messrs. H. and R. where the person herein advertised can be found would confer a favor by doing the same. To prevent mistakes, it is further notified that the missing Allan Armadale is a youth aged fifteen years, and that this advertisement is inserted at the instance of his family and friends.
IF this should reach ALLAN ARMADALE, he is requested to get in touch, either in person or by letter, with Messrs. Hammick and Ridge (Lincoln’s Inn Fields, London), regarding an important matter that deeply concerns him. Anyone who can inform Messrs. H. and R. about the whereabouts of the person mentioned in this notice would do a great favor by doing so. To avoid any confusion, it is also noted that the missing Allan Armadale is a fifteen-year-old youth, and this advertisement is placed at the request of his family and friends.
“Another family, and other friends,” said Mrs. Armadale. “The person whose name appears in that advertisement is not my son.”
“Another family, and more friends,” Mrs. Armadale said. “The person named in that advertisement is not my son.”
The tone in which she spoke surprised Mr. Brock. The change in her face, when he looked up, shocked him. Her delicate complexion had faded away to a dull white; her eyes were averted from her visitor with a strange mixture of confusion and alarm; she looked an older woman than she was, by ten good years at least.
The tone in which she spoke surprised Mr. Brock. The change in her face, when he looked up, shocked him. Her delicate complexion had faded to a dull white; her eyes were turned away from her visitor with a strange mix of confusion and fear; she looked at least ten years older than she actually was.
“The name is so very uncommon,” said Mr. Brock, imagining he had offended her, and trying to excuse himself. “It really seemed impossible there could be two persons—”
“The name is really rare,” said Mr. Brock, thinking he had upset her and trying to apologize. “It honestly seemed impossible that there could be two people—”
“There are two,” interposed Mrs. Armadale. “Allan, as you know, is sixteen years old. If you look back at the advertisement, you will find the missing person described as being only fifteen. Although he bears the same surname and the same Christian name, he is, I thank God, in no way whatever related to my son. As long as I live, it will be the object of my hopes and prayers that Allan may never see him, may never even hear of him. My kind friend, I see I surprise you: will you bear with me if I leave these strange circumstances unexplained? There is past misfortune and misery in my early life too painful for me to speak of, even to you. Will you help me to bear the remembrance of it, by never referring to this again? Will you do even more—will you promise not to speak of it to Allan, and not to let that newspaper fall in his way?”
“There are two,” Mrs. Armadale said. “Allan, as you know, is sixteen years old. If you check the advertisement, you'll see the missing person is described as being only fifteen. Even though he has the same last name and first name, thankfully, he is in no way related to my son. As long as I live, my hopes and prayers will be that Allan never sees him, never even hears about him. My dear friend, I see I'm surprising you: will you bear with me if I leave these strange circumstances unexplained? There’s past misfortune and pain in my early life that’s too painful for me to talk about, even with you. Will you help me carry the memory of it by never bringing it up again? Will you do even more—will you promise not to talk about it with Allan, and not to let that newspaper come across his path?”
Mr. Brock gave the pledge required of him, and considerately left her to herself.
Mr. Brock made the commitment he needed to and thoughtfully left her alone.
The rector had been too long and too truly attached to Mrs. Armadale to be capable of regarding her with any unworthy distrust. But it would be idle to deny that he felt disappointed by her want of confidence in him, and that he looked inquisitively at the advertisement more than once on his way back to his own house.
The rector had been too close to Mrs. Armadale for too long to be able to see her with any unworthy distrust. But it would be pointless to deny that he felt let down by her lack of trust in him, and that he glanced curiously at the advertisement more than once on his way home.
It was clear enough, now, that Mrs. Armadale’s motives for burying her son as well as herself in the seclusion of a remote country village was not so much to keep him under her own eye as to keep him from discovery by his namesake. Why did she dread the idea of their ever meeting? Was it a dread for herself, or a dread for her son? Mr. Brock’s loyal belief in his friend rejected any solution of the difficulty which pointed at some past misconduct of Mrs. Armadale’s. That night he destroyed the advertisement with his own hand; that night he resolved that the subject should never be suffered to enter his mind again. There was another Allan Armadale about the world, a stranger to his pupil’s blood, and a vagabond advertised in the public newspapers. So much accident had revealed to him. More, for Mrs. Armadale’s sake, he had no wish to discover—and more he would never seek to know.
It was clear now that Mrs. Armadale’s reasons for isolating herself and her son in a secluded country village were not just to keep an eye on him but to hide him from his namesake. Why was she so afraid of them meeting? Was it because of her own fears or her concerns for her son? Mr. Brock’s unwavering faith in his friend dismissed any explanation that suggested some past wrongdoing by Mrs. Armadale. That night, he personally destroyed the advertisement, deciding that he would never let the topic cross his mind again. There was another Allan Armadale in the world, a stranger to his pupil’s family, and a drifter mentioned in the public newspapers. That much accident had shown him. For Mrs. Armadale’s sake, he had no desire to find out more—and he would never seek to know anything further.
This was the second in the series of events which dated from the rector’s connection with Mrs. Armadale and her son. Mr. Brock’s memory, traveling on nearer and nearer to present circumstances, reached the third stage of its journey through the by-gone time, and stopped at the year eighteen hundred and fifty, next.
This was the second event in the series that started with the rector's connection to Mrs. Armadale and her son. Mr. Brock's memory, moving closer to the current situation, reached the third stage of its journey through the past and paused at the year 1850.
The five years that had passed had made little if any change in Allan’s character. He had simply developed (to use his tutor’s own expression) from a boy of sixteen to a boy of twenty-one. He was just as easy and open in his disposition as ever; just as quaintly and inveterately good-humored; just as heedless in following his own impulses, lead him where they might. His bias toward the sea had strengthened with his advance to the years of manhood. From building a boat, he had now got on—with two journeymen at work under him—to building a decked vessel of five-and-thirty tons. Mr. Brock had conscientiously tried to divert him to higher aspirations; had taken him to Oxford, to see what college life was like; had taken him to London, to expand his mind by the spectacle of the great metropolis. The change had diverted Allan, but had not altered him in the least. He was as impenetrably superior to all worldly ambition as Diogenes himself. “Which is best,” asked this unconscious philosopher, “to find out the way to be happy for yourself, or to let other people try if they can find it out for you?” From that moment Mr. Brock permitted his pupil’s character to grow at its own rate of development, and Allan went on uninterruptedly with the work of his yacht.
The five years that passed had made little, if any, change in Allan’s character. He had simply grown (to use his tutor’s own words) from a sixteen-year-old boy to a twenty-one-year-old young man. He was just as easygoing and open as ever; just as oddly and stubbornly good-humored; just as careless in following his own impulses, no matter where they led him. His interest in the sea had strengthened as he entered adulthood. From building a boat, he had now progressed—with two apprentices working under him—to constructing a decked vessel of thirty-five tons. Mr. Brock had diligently tried to steer him toward higher ambitions; he had taken him to Oxford to see what college life was like; he had taken him to London to broaden his perspective with the sights of the bustling city. The experiences had intrigued Allan, but hadn’t changed him at all. He remained as completely indifferent to worldly ambition as Diogenes himself. “Which is better,” this unintentional philosopher asked, “to figure out how to be happy for yourself, or to let others see if they can find it out for you?” From that point on, Mr. Brock allowed his pupil’s character to develop at its own pace, and Allan continued his work on the yacht without interruption.
Time, which had wrought so little change in the son, had not passed harmless over the mother.
Time, which had made so little difference to the son, had not left the mother untouched.
Mrs. Armadale’s health was breaking fast. As her strength failed, her temper altered for the worse: she grew more and more fretful, more and more subject to morbid fears and fancies, more and more reluctant to leave her own room. Since the appearance of the advertisement five years since, nothing had happened to force her memory back to the painful associations connected with her early life. No word more on the forbidden topic had passed between the rector and herself; no suspicion had ever been raised in Allan’s mind of the existence of his namesake; and yet, without the shadow of a reason for any special anxiety, Mrs. Armadale had become, of late years, obstinately and fretfully uneasy on the subject of her son. More than once Mr. Brock dreaded a serious disagreement between them; but Allan’s natural sweetness of temper, fortified by his love for his mother, carried him triumphantly through all trials. Not a hard word or a harsh look ever escaped him in her presence; he was unchangeably loving and forbearing with her to the very last.
Mrs. Armadale’s health was declining quickly. As her strength diminished, her mood worsened: she became increasingly irritable, more prone to unhealthy fears and worries, and more unwilling to leave her room. Since the ad appeared five years ago, nothing had happened to bring her painful childhood memories back. The rector and she had never mentioned the forbidden topic again; Allan had never suspected that his namesake existed; and yet, without any real reason for concern, Mrs. Armadale had recently become stubbornly and fretfully anxious about her son. More than once, Mr. Brock feared a serious argument between them; however, Allan’s natural kindness, strengthened by his love for his mother, helped him to handle every challenge gracefully. Not a harsh word or a mean look ever slipped from him when she was around; he remained endlessly loving and patient with her until the very end.
Such were the positions of the son, the mother, and the friend, when the next notable event happened in the lives of the three. On a dreary afternoon, early in the month of November, Mr. Brock was disturbed over the composition of his sermon by a visit from the landlord of the village inn.
Such were the positions of the son, the mother, and the friend when the next significant event occurred in their lives. On a gloomy afternoon, early in November, Mr. Brock was interrupted while working on his sermon by a visit from the landlord of the village inn.
After making his introductory apologies, the landlord stated the urgent business on which he had come to the rectory clearly enough.
After making his initial apologies, the landlord clearly stated the urgent matter that had brought him to the rectory.
A few hours since a young man had been brought to the inn by some farm laborers in the neighborhood, who had found him wandering about one of their master’s fields in a disordered state of mind, which looked to their eyes like downright madness. The landlord had given the poor creature shelter while he sent for medical help; and the doctor, on seeing him, had pronounced that he was suffering from fever on the brain, and that his removal to the nearest town at which a hospital or a work-house infirmary could be found to receive him would in all probability be fatal to his chances of recovery. After hearing this expression of opinion, and after observing for himself that the stranger’s only luggage consisted of a small carpet-bag which had been found in the field near him, the landlord had set off on the spot to consult the rector, and to ask, in this serious emergency, what course he was to take next.
A few hours ago, some farm workers from the area brought a young man to the inn. They had found him wandering in one of their boss's fields, clearly in a troubled state of mind that looked like complete madness to them. The landlord offered the poor guy a place to stay while he called for medical help. When the doctor arrived and examined him, he said the young man was suffering from a fever in his brain, and moving him to the nearest town with a hospital or poorhouse would likely be fatal to his chances of recovery. After hearing this, and noticing that the stranger’s only belongings were a small carpet bag found in the field beside him, the landlord immediately set off to consult the rector, seeking advice on what to do next in this serious situation.
Mr. Brock was the magistrate as well as the clergyman of the district, and the course to be taken, in the first instance, was to his mind clear enough. He put on his hat, and accompanied the landlord back to the inn.
Mr. Brock was both the magistrate and the clergyman of the area, and the way to proceed, initially, was pretty clear to him. He put on his hat and went back to the inn with the landlord.
At the inn door they were joined by Allan, who had heard the news through another channel, and who was waiting Mr. Brock’s arrival, to follow in the magistrate’s train, and to see what the stranger was like. The village surgeon joined them at the same moment, and the four went into the inn together.
At the inn door, they were joined by Allan, who had heard the news from another source and was waiting for Mr. Brock to arrive so he could follow the magistrate and see what the stranger was like. The village surgeon joined them at the same time, and the four went into the inn together.
They found the landlord’s son on one side, and the hostler on the other, holding the man down in his chair. Young, slim, and undersized, he was strong enough at that moment to make it a matter of difficulty for the two to master him. His tawny complexion, his large, bright brown eyes, and his black beard gave him something of a foreign look. His dress was a little worn, but his linen was clean. His dusky hands were wiry and nervous, and were lividly discolored in more places than one by the scars of old wounds. The toes of one of his feet, off which he had kicked the shoe, grasped at the chair rail through his stocking, with the sensitive muscular action which is only seen in those who have been accustomed to go barefoot. In the frenzy that now possessed him, it was impossible to notice, to any useful purpose, more than this. After a whispered consultation with Mr. Brock, the surgeon personally superintended the patient’s removal to a quiet bedroom at the back of the house. Shortly afterward his clothes and his carpet-bag were sent downstairs, and were searched, on the chance of finding a clew by which to communicate with his friends, in the magistrate’s presence.
They found the landlord’s son on one side and the innkeeper on the other, holding the man down in his chair. Young, slender, and small, he was strong enough at that moment to make it difficult for the two to overpower him. His tan skin, large, bright brown eyes, and black beard gave him a somewhat foreign appearance. His clothes were a bit worn, but his linen was clean. His dark hands were wiry and jittery, showing numerous old scars. The toes of one foot, from which he had kicked off his shoe, gripped the chair rail through his sock, displaying the sensitive muscular action typical of someone used to going barefoot. In the frenzy he was experiencing, it was impossible to notice anything more useful than that. After a quiet discussion with Mr. Brock, the surgeon personally oversaw the patient's transfer to a quiet bedroom at the back of the house. Soon after, his clothes and carpet bag were sent downstairs and searched in the magistrate’s presence, in hopes of finding a way to contact his friends.
The carpet-bag contained nothing but a change of clothing, and two books—the Plays of Sophocles, in the original Greek, and the “Faust” of Goethe, in the original German. Both volumes were much worn by reading, and on the fly-leaf of each were inscribed the initials O. M. So much the bag revealed, and no more.
The carpet bag held nothing but a change of clothes and two books—the Plays of Sophocles, in the original Greek, and Goethe's "Faust," in the original German. Both books were well-worn from reading, and on the inside cover of each were the initials O. M. That was all the bag revealed, and nothing more.
The clothes which the man wore when he was discovered in the field were tried next. A purse (containing a sovereign and a few shillings), a pipe, a tobacco pouch, a handkerchief, and a little drinking-cup of horn were produced in succession. The next object, and the last, was found crumpled up carelessly in the breast-pocket of the coat. It was a written testimonial to character, dated and signed, but without any address.
The clothes the man was wearing when he was found in the field were examined next. A wallet (with a gold coin and a few silver coins), a pipe, a tobacco pouch, a handkerchief, and a small drinking cup made of horn were presented one after the other. The next item, and the last one, was discovered crumpled up carelessly in the coat's breast pocket. It was a written character reference, dated and signed, but without an address.
So far as this document could tell it, the stranger’s story was a sad one indeed. He had apparently been employed for a short time as usher at a school, and had been turned adrift in the world, at the outset of his illness, from the fear that the fever might be infectious, and that the prosperity of the establishment might suffer accordingly. Not the slightest imputation of any misbehavior in his employment rested on him. On the contrary, the schoolmaster had great pleasure in testifying to his capacity and his character, and in expressing a fervent hope that he might (under Providence) succeed in recovering his health in somebody else’s house. The written testimonial which afforded this glimpse at the man’s story served one purpose more: it connected him with the initials on the books, and identified him to the magistrate and the landlord under the strangely uncouth name of Ozias Midwinter.
As far as this document could reveal, the stranger’s story was quite tragic. He had only worked for a short time as a school usher and was cast out into the world when he first fell ill, due to fears that his fever might be contagious, which could harm the school's reputation. There was no suggestion of any wrongdoing on his part. In fact, the schoolmaster was happy to vouch for his skills and character and expressed a sincere hope that he would manage to recover his health while staying in someone else's home. The written recommendation that provided this insight into his story served another purpose: it linked him to the initials in the books and identified him to the magistrate and the landlord by the unusually awkward name of Ozias Midwinter.
Mr. Brock laid aside the testimonial, suspecting that the schoolmaster had purposely abstained from writing his address on it, with the view of escaping all responsibility in the event of his usher’s death. In any case, it was manifestly useless, under existing circumstances, to think of tracing the poor wretch’s friends, if friends he had. To the inn he had been brought, and, as a matter of common humanity, at the inn he must remain for the present. The difficulty about expenses, if it came to the worst, might possibly be met by charitable contributions from the neighbors, or by a collection after a sermon at church. Assuring the landlord that he would consider this part of the question and would let him know the result, Mr. Brock quitted the inn, without noticing for the moment that he had left Allan there behind him.
Mr. Brock set the testimonial aside, suspecting that the schoolmaster had intentionally left off his address to avoid any responsibility if his assistant died. In any case, it was clearly pointless, given the current situation, to try to find the poor man's friends, if he even had any. He had been brought to the inn, and out of basic humanity, he would have to stay there for now. If it came to that, the issue of expenses might be covered by charitable donations from the neighbors or a collection after a church service. After assuring the landlord that he would think about this and let him know the outcome, Mr. Brock left the inn, not immediately noticing that he had left Allan behind.
Before he had got fifty yards from the house his pupil overtook him. Allan had been most uncharacteristically silent and serious all through the search at the inn; but he had now recovered his usual high spirits. A stranger would have set him down as wanting in common feeling.
Before he had gone fifty yards from the house, his pupil caught up with him. Allan had been unusually quiet and serious during the search at the inn, but he had now regained his usual cheerful demeanor. A stranger might think he lacked common feelings.
“This is a sad business,” said the rector. “I really don’t know what to do for the best about that unfortunate man.”
“This is a sad situation,” said the rector. “I honestly don’t know what’s the best course of action for that unfortunate man.”
“You may make your mind quite easy, sir,” said young Armadale, in his off-hand way. “I settled it all with the landlord a minute ago.”
“You can relax, sir,” said young Armadale casually. “I just sorted everything out with the landlord a minute ago.”
“You!” exclaimed Mr. Brock, in the utmost astonishment.
"You!" Mr. Brock exclaimed, completely amazed.
“I have merely given a few simple directions,” pursued Allan. “Our friend the usher is to have everything he requires, and is to be treated like a prince; and when the doctor and the landlord want their money they are to come to me.”
“I’ve just given a few straightforward instructions,” Allan continued. “Our friend the usher is to have everything he needs and should be treated like royalty; and when the doctor and the landlord want their payment, they should come to me.”
“My dear Allan,” Mr. Brock gently remonstrated, “when will you learn to think before you act on those generous impulses of yours? You are spending more money already on your yacht-building than you can afford—”
“My dear Allan,” Mr. Brock gently warned, “when will you learn to think before you act on those generous impulses of yours? You're already spending more money on your yacht-building than you can afford—”
“Only think! we laid the first planks of the deck the day before yesterday,” said Allan, flying off to the new subject in his usual bird-witted way. “There’s just enough of it done to walk on, if you don’t feel giddy. I’ll help you up the ladder, Mr. Brock, if you’ll only come and try.”
“Just think! We put down the first deck planks the day before yesterday,” Allan said, quickly switching to a new topic as he often did. “There’s just enough done to walk on, as long as you don’t feel dizzy. I’ll help you up the ladder, Mr. Brock, if you’ll just come and give it a try.”
“Listen to me,” persisted the rector. “I’m not talking about the yacht now; that is to say, I am only referring to the yacht as an illustration—”
“Listen to me,” the rector insisted. “I’m not talking about the yacht right now; to be clear, I’m just using the yacht as an example—”
“And a very pretty illustration, too,” remarked the incorrigible Allan. “Find me a smarter little vessel of her size in all England, and I’ll give up yacht-building to-morrow. Whereabouts were we in our conversation, sir? I’m rather afraid we have lost ourselves somehow.”
“And that's a really nice illustration, too,” said the unchangeable Allan. “Show me a cleverer little boat of her size anywhere in England, and I’ll quit yacht-building tomorrow. Where were we in our conversation, sir? I’m a bit worried we’ve gotten sidetracked somehow.”
“I am rather afraid one of us is in the habit of losing himself every time he opens his lips,” retorted Mr. Brock. “Come, come, Allan, this is serious. You have been rendering yourself liable for expenses which you may not be able to pay. Mind, I am far from blaming you for your kind feeling toward this poor friendless man—”
“I’m a bit worried that one of us tends to get lost in thoughts every time he speaks,” replied Mr. Brock. “Listen, Allan, this is serious. You’ve been putting yourself at risk for costs that you might not be able to cover. Just so you know, I’m not blaming you for having compassion for this poor, friendless guy—”
“Don’t be low-spirited about him, sir. He’ll get over it—he’ll be all right again in a week or so. A capital fellow, I have not the least doubt!” continued Allan, whose habit it was to believe in everybody and to despair of nothing. “Suppose you ask him to dinner when he gets well, Mr. Brock? I should like to find out (when we are all three snug and friendly together over our wine, you know) how he came by that extraordinary name of his. Ozias Midwinter! Upon my life, his father ought to be ashamed of himself.”
“Don’t feel down about him, sir. He’ll get through it—he’ll be fine again in a week or so. A great guy, I have no doubt!” continued Allan, who always believed in everyone and never lost hope. “Why don’t you invite him to dinner when he’s better, Mr. Brock? I’d love to find out (when we’re all comfortably together over our wine, you know) how he got that unusual name of his. Ozias Midwinter! Honestly, his father should be embarrassed.”
“Will you answer me one question before I go in?” said the rector, stopping in despair at his own gate. “This man’s bill for lodging and medical attendance may mount to twenty or thirty pounds before he gets well again, if he ever does get well. How are you to pay for it?”
“Will you answer me one question before I go in?” said the rector, stopping in despair at his own gate. “This man’s bill for lodging and medical care could reach twenty or thirty pounds before he gets better, if he ever does get better. How will you pay for it?”
“What’s that the Chancellor of the Exchequer says when he finds himself in a mess with his accounts, and doesn’t see his way out again?” asked Allan. “He always tells his honorable friend he is quite willing to leave a something or other—”
“What does the Chancellor of the Exchequer say when he gets into a mess with his accounts and can't find a way out?” Allan asked. “He always tells his honorable friend he is completely willing to leave something or other—”
“A margin?” suggested Mr. Brock.
"A margin?" asked Mr. Brock.
“That’s it,” said Allan. “I’m like the Chancellor of the Exchequer. I’m quite willing to leave a margin. The yacht (bless her heart!) doesn’t eat up everything. If I’m short by a pound or two, don’t be afraid, sir. There’s no pride about me; I’ll go round with the hat, and get the balance in the neighborhood. Deuce take the pounds, shillings, and pence! I wish they could all three get rid of themselves, like the Bedouin brothers at the show. Don’t you remember the Bedouin brothers, Mr. Brock? ‘Ali will take a lighted torch, and jump down the throat of his brother Muli; Muli will take a lighted torch, and jump down the throat of his brother Hassan; and Hassan, taking a third lighted torch, will conclude the performances by jumping down his own throat, and leaving the spectators in total darkness.’ Wonderfully good, that—what I call real wit, with a fine strong flavor about it. Wait a minute! Where are we? We have lost ourselves again. Oh, I remember—money. What I can’t beat into my thick head,” concluded Allan, quite unconscious that he was preaching socialist doctrines to a clergyman; “is the meaning of the fuss that’s made about giving money away. Why can’t the people who have got money to spare give it to the people who haven’t got money to spare, and make things pleasant and comfortable all the world over in that way? You’re always telling me to cultivate ideas, Mr. Brock There’s an idea, and, upon my life, I don’t think it’s a bad one.”
"That's it," said Allan. "I'm like the Chancellor of the Exchequer. I'm totally fine with leaving some wiggle room. The yacht (bless her heart!) doesn't take everything. If I'm short by a pound or two, don't worry, sir. I have no pride; I'll go around with a hat and collect the rest from the neighborhood. To hell with the pounds, shillings, and pence! I wish they could all just disappear, like the Bedouin brothers at the show. Don't you remember the Bedouin brothers, Mr. Brock? 'Ali takes a lit torch and jumps down his brother Muli's throat; Muli takes a lit torch and jumps down his brother Hassan's throat; and Hassan, taking a third lit torch, finishes the act by jumping down his own throat, leaving the audience in total darkness.' That's wonderfully good—what I call real wit, with a nice strong flavor. Wait a minute! Where are we? We've lost track again. Oh, right—money. What I just can't wrap my head around," Allan concluded, completely unaware he was preaching socialist ideas to a clergyman, "is why there's such a fuss about giving money away. Why can't people who have extra cash give it to those who don’t, and make things nice and comfortable all over the world that way? You always tell me to develop ideas, Mr. Brock. There's one, and honestly, I don't think it's a bad one."
Mr. Brock gave his pupil a good-humored poke with the end of his stick. “Go back to your yacht,” he said. “All the little discretion you have got in that flighty head of yours is left on board in your tool-chest. How that lad will end,” pursued the rector, when he was left by himself, “is more than any human being can say. I almost wish I had never taken the responsibility of him on my shoulders.”
Mr. Brock playfully nudged his student with the end of his stick. “Go back to your yacht,” he said. “All the common sense you have in that scattered head of yours is still on board in your toolbox. How that kid will turn out,” the rector continued when he was alone, “is beyond anyone’s guess. I almost regret taking on the responsibility of him.”
Three weeks passed before the stranger with the uncouth name was pronounced to be at last on the way to recovery.
Three weeks went by before the stranger with the strange name was finally said to be on the road to recovery.
During this period Allan had made regular inquiries at the inn, and, as soon as the sick man was allowed to see visitors, Allan was the first who appeared at his bedside. So far Mr. Brock’s pupil had shown no more than a natural interest in one of the few romantic circumstances which had varied the monotony of the village life: he had committed no imprudence, and he had exposed himself to no blame. But as the days passed, young Armadale’s visits to the inn began to lengthen considerably, and the surgeon (a cautious elderly man) gave the rector a private hint to bestir himself. Mr. Brock acted on the hint immediately, and discovered that Allan had followed his usual impulses in his usual headlong way. He had taken a violent fancy to the castaway usher and had invited Ozias Midwinter to reside permanently in the neighborhood in the new and interesting character of his bosom friend.
During this time, Allan regularly checked in at the inn, and as soon as the sick man was allowed visitors, Allan was the first to arrive at his bedside. So far, Mr. Brock’s pupil had only shown a natural curiosity about one of the few romantic situations that had broken up the routine of village life: he hadn’t acted recklessly, and he hadn’t put himself in a position to be blamed. But as the days went by, young Armadale’s visits to the inn started to get significantly longer, and the surgeon (a careful older man) subtly suggested to the rector that he should take action. Mr. Brock immediately followed the suggestion and found out that Allan had acted on his usual impulses in his typical reckless manner. He had developed a strong attachment to the rejected teacher and had invited Ozias Midwinter to live nearby in the new and interesting role of his close friend.
Before Mr. Brock could make up his mind how to act in this emergency, he received a note from Allan’s mother, begging him to use his privilege as an old friend, and to pay her a visit in her room.
Before Mr. Brock could decide how to respond to this situation, he got a note from Allan’s mother, asking him to use his status as an old friend and come visit her in her room.
He found Mrs. Armadale suffering under violent nervous agitation, caused entirely by a recent interview with her son. Allan had been sitting with her all the morning, and had talked of nothing but his new friend. The man with the horrible name (as poor Mrs. Armadale described him) had questioned Allan, in a singularly inquisitive manner, on the subject of himself and his family, but had kept his own personal history entirely in the dark. At some former period of his life he had been accustomed to the sea and to sailing. Allan had, unfortunately, found this out, and a bond of union between them was formed on the spot. With a merciless distrust of the stranger—simply because he was a stranger—which appeared rather unreasonable to Mr. Brock, Mrs. Armadale besought the rector to go to the inn without a moment’s loss of time, and never to rest until he had made the man give a proper account of himself. “Find out everything about his father and mother!” she said, in her vehement female way. “Make sure before you leave him that he is not a vagabond roaming the country under an assumed name.”
He found Mrs. Armadale in a state of severe nervous distress, entirely due to a recent conversation with her son. Allan had been with her all morning, talking only about his new friend. The man with the terrible name (as poor Mrs. Armadale put it) had asked Allan a lot of intrusive questions about himself and his family but had kept his own background completely hidden. At some point in his life, he was used to the sea and sailing. Unfortunately, Allan discovered this, and they immediately formed a connection. With a relentless suspicion of the stranger—simply because he was a stranger—which seemed rather unreasonable to Mr. Brock, Mrs. Armadale urged the rector to go to the inn without delay and not to rest until he had made the man provide a proper account of himself. “Find out everything about his parents!” she insisted, in her passionate way. “Make sure before you leave him that he isn’t a drifter traveling under a fake name.”
“My dear lady,” remonstrated the rector, obediently taking his hat, “whatever else we may doubt, I really think we may feel sure about the man’s name! It is so remarkably ugly that it must be genuine. No sane human being would assume such a name as Ozias Midwinter.”
“My dear lady,” protested the rector, dutifully taking his hat, “whatever else we might doubt, I truly believe we can be certain about the man's name! It's so incredibly unattractive that it must be real. No sane person would choose a name like Ozias Midwinter.”
“You may be quite right, and I may be quite wrong; but pray go and see him,” persisted Mrs. Armadale. “Go, and don’t spare him, Mr. Brock. How do we know that this illness of his may not have been put on for a purpose?”
“You might be completely right, and I might be completely wrong; but please, go and see him,” insisted Mrs. Armadale. “Go, and don’t hold back, Mr. Brock. How do we know that his illness isn’t just an act for some reason?”
It was useless to reason with her. The whole College of Physicians might have certified to the man’s illness, and, in her present frame of mind, Mrs. Armadale would have disbelieved the College, one and all, from the president downward. Mr. Brock took the wise way out of the difficulty—he said no more, and he set off for the inn immediately.
It was pointless to argue with her. The entire College of Physicians could have confirmed the man's illness, and in her current mindset, Mrs. Armadale would have dismissed them all, from the president down. Mr. Brock chose the smart approach—he said nothing more and headed straight to the inn.
Ozias Midwinter, recovering from brain-fever, was a startling object to contemplate on a first view of him. His shaven head, tied up in an old yellow silk handkerchief; his tawny, haggard cheeks; his bright brown eyes, preternaturally large and wild; his rough black beard; his long, supple, sinewy fingers, wasted by suffering till they looked like claws—all tended to discompose the rector at the outset of the interview. When the first feeling of surprise had worn off, the impression that followed it was not an agreeable one. Mr. Brock could not conceal from himself that the stranger’s manner was against him. The general opinion has settled that, if a man is honest, he is bound to assert it by looking straight at his fellow-creatures when he speaks to them. If this man was honest, his eyes showed a singular perversity in looking away and denying it. Possibly they were affected in some degree by a nervous restlessness in his organization, which appeared to pervade every fiber in his lean, lithe body. The rector’s healthy Anglo-Saxon flesh crept responsively at every casual movement of the usher’s supple brown fingers, and every passing distortion of the usher’s haggard yellow face. “God forgive me!” thought Mr. Brock, with his mind running on Allan and Allan’s mother, “I wish I could see my way to turning Ozias Midwinter adrift in the world again!”
Ozias Midwinter, recovering from a severe illness, was a shocking sight the first time you looked at him. His shaved head was wrapped in an old yellow silk handkerchief; his pale, gaunt cheeks; his bright brown eyes, unnaturally large and wild; his rough black beard; and his long, thin fingers, withered from suffering until they looked like claws—all of this made the rector uneasy right from the start. Once the initial surprise wore off, the feeling that followed was far from pleasant. Mr. Brock couldn't ignore the fact that the stranger's demeanor worked against him. The common belief is that if a man is honest, he has to show it by looking people straight in the eye when he talks to them. If this man was honest, his eyes displayed an unmistakable reluctance to make contact, almost as if denying it. Perhaps it was partly due to a nervous energy that seemed to affect every fiber of his lean, agile body. The rector's sturdy Anglo-Saxon skin twitched in response to every casual movement of the usher's nimble brown fingers, and every fleeting contortion of the usher's worn yellow face. “God forgive me!” Mr. Brock thought, his mind drifting to Allan and Allan’s mother, “I wish I could figure out how to set Ozias Midwinter loose in the world again!”
The conversation which ensued between the two was a very guarded one. Mr. Brock felt his way gently, and found himself, try where he might, always kept politely, more or less, in the dark.
The conversation that followed between the two was very cautious. Mr. Brock approached the topic carefully but, no matter how hard he tried, he always found himself polite yet somewhat in the dark.
From first to last, the man’s real character shrank back with a savage shyness from the rector’s touch. He started by an assertion which it was impossible to look at him and believe—he declared that he was only twenty years of age. All he could be persuaded to say on the subject of the school was that the bare recollection of it was horrible to him. He had only filled the usher’s situation for ten days when the first appearance of his illness caused his dismissal. How he had reached the field in which he had been found was more than he could say. He remembered traveling a long distance by railway, with a purpose (if he had a purpose) which it was now impossible to recall, and then wandering coastward, on foot, all through the day, or all through the night—he was not sure which. The sea kept running in his mind when his mind began to give way. He had been employed on the sea as a lad. He had left it, and had filled a situation at a bookseller’s in a country town. He had left the bookseller’s, and had tried the school. Now the school had turned him out, he must try something else. It mattered little what he tried—failure (for which nobody was ever to blame but himself) was sure to be the end of it, sooner or later. Friends to assist him, he had none to apply to; and as for relations, he wished to be excused from speaking of them. For all he knew they might be dead, and for all they knew he might be dead. That was a melancholy acknowledgment to make at his time of life, there was no denying it. It might tell against him in the opinions of others; and it did tell against him, no doubt, in the opinion of the gentleman who was talking to him at that moment.
From beginning to end, the man's true character recoiled with a fierce shyness from the rector’s touch. He started with a claim that was hard to believe—he insisted he was only twenty years old. The only thing he would say about the school was that even just recalling it was terrible for him. He had only been an usher for ten days when the first signs of his illness got him fired. How he ended up in the field where he was found was beyond his understanding. He remembered traveling a long way by train, with a purpose (if he even had one) that he couldn’t now recall, and then wandering along the coast, either all day or all night—he couldn’t be sure. The sea kept coming to mind as his thoughts began to falter. He had worked at sea as a kid. He had left that to work at a bookstore in a small town. After that, he tried teaching at a school. Now that the school had kicked him out, he needed to find something new. It didn’t really matter what he tried—failure (for which he was the only one to blame) was bound to be the outcome, sooner or later. He had no friends to turn to for help; and as for family, he preferred not to discuss them. For all he knew, they might be dead, and for all they knew, he might be dead. That was a sad realization at his age, there was no denying it. It might count against him in how others viewed him; and it definitely did count against him, no doubt, in the opinion of the gentleman who was talking to him at that moment.
These strange answers were given in a tone and manner far removed from bitterness on the one side, or from indifference on the other. Ozias Midwinter at twenty spoke of his life as Ozias Midwinter at seventy might have spoken with a long weariness of years on him which he had learned to bear patiently.
These unusual responses were delivered in a tone and style that was neither bitter nor indifferent. Ozias Midwinter, at twenty, talked about his life as if he were Ozias Midwinter at seventy, carrying the heavy weariness of years he had learned to endure patiently.
Two circumstances pleaded strongly against the distrust with which, in sheer perplexity of mind, Mr. Brock blindly regarded him. He had written to a savings-bank in a distant part of England, had drawn his money, and had paid the doctor and the landlord. A man of vulgar mind, after acting in this manner, would have treated his obligations lightly when he had settled his bills. Ozias Midwinter spoke of his obligations—and especially of his obligation to Allan—with a fervor of thankfulness which it was not surprising only, but absolutely painful to witness. He showed a horrible sincerity of astonishment at having been treated with common Christian kindness in a Christian land. He spoke of Allan’s having become answerable for all the expenses of sheltering, nursing, and curing him, with a savage rapture of gratitude and surprise which burst out of him like a flash of lightning. “So help me God!” cried the castaway usher, “I never met with the like of him: I never heard of the like of him before!” In the next instant, the one glimpse of light which the man had let in on his own passionate nature was quenched again in darkness. His wandering eyes, returning to their old trick, looked uneasily away from Mr. Brock, and his voice dropped back once more into its unnatural steadiness and quietness of tone. “I beg your pardon, sir,” he said. “I have been used to be hunted, and cheated, and starved. Everything else comes strange to me.” Half attracted by the man, half repelled by him, Mr. Brock, on rising to take leave, impulsively offered his hand, and then, with a sudden misgiving, confusedly drew it back again. “You meant that kindly, sir,” said Ozias Midwinter, with his own hands crossed resolutely behind him. “I don’t complain of your thinking better of it. A man who can’t give a proper account of himself is not a man for a gentleman in your position to take by the hand.”
Two things strongly argued against the distrust with which, in sheer confusion, Mr. Brock viewed him. He had contacted a savings bank in a far-off part of England, withdrawn his money, and paid the doctor and the landlord. A person of ordinary character, after doing all this, would have brushed off his obligations once his bills were settled. Ozias Midwinter talked about his responsibilities—and especially about his duty to Allan—with such heartfelt gratitude that it was not only surprising but painfully difficult to witness. He expressed a shocking sincerity of disbelief at being treated with basic human kindness in a Christian country. He talked about how Allan had taken on all the costs of sheltering, nursing, and caring for him, with a wild surge of gratitude and astonishment that burst out of him like a flash of lightning. “So help me God!” exclaimed the abandoned usher, “I’ve never encountered anyone like him: I’ve never even heard of anyone like him before!” In the next moment, the brief light that had entered his passionate nature was swallowed up by darkness again. His wandering eyes, falling back into their old habit, looked away from Mr. Brock uneasily, and his voice returned to its unnatural steadiness and quiet tone. “I apologize, sir,” he said. “I have been used to being hunted, cheated, and starved. Everything else feels strange to me.” Partly drawn to the man and partly put off by him, Mr. Brock, as he prepared to leave, instinctively offered his hand, but then abruptly pulled it back with a sudden uncertainty. “You meant that kindly, sir,” said Ozias Midwinter, with his own hands resolutely clasped behind him. “I don’t mind your reconsideration. A man who can’t properly explain himself isn’t someone a gentleman like you should take by the hand.”
Mr. Brock left the inn thoroughly puzzled. Before returning to Mrs. Armadale he sent for her son. The chances were that the guard had been off the stranger’s tongue when he spoke to Allan, and with Allan’s frankness there was no fear of his concealing anything that had passed between them from the rector’s knowledge.
Mr. Brock left the inn completely confused. Before going back to Mrs. Armadale, he called for her son. The guard likely had been off the stranger’s tongue when he spoke to Allan, and with Allan's honesty, there was no worry about him hiding anything that had been said between them from the rector.
Here again Mr. Brock’s diplomacy achieved no useful results.
Here again, Mr. Brock's diplomacy produced no beneficial outcomes.
Once started on the subject of Ozias Midwinter, Allan rattled on about his new friend in his usual easy, light-hearted way. But he had really nothing of importance to tell, for nothing of importance had been revealed to him. They had talked about boat-building and sailing by the hour together, and Allan had got some valuable hints. They had discussed (with diagrams to assist them, and with more valuable hints for Allan) the serious impending question of the launch of the yacht. On other occasions they had diverged to other subjects—to more of them than Allan could remember, on the spur of the moment. Had Midwinter said nothing about his relations in the flow of all this friendly talk? Nothing, except that they had not behaved well to him—hang his relations! Was he at all sensitive on the subject of his own odd name? Not the least in the world; he had set the example, like a sensible fellow, of laughing at it himself.
Once he started talking about Ozias Midwinter, Allan chatted on about his new friend in his usual relaxed, carefree manner. But he didn’t really have anything important to share since nothing significant had come to light. They spent hours discussing boat-building and sailing, and Allan picked up some useful tips. They even talked (with diagrams to help them and even more useful advice for Allan) about the important upcoming question of launching the yacht. At other times, they wandered off to various topics—many more than Allan could recall on the spot. Did Midwinter mention anything about his family during all this friendly conversation? Not really, except to say that they hadn’t treated him well—forget his family! Was he at all sensitive about his unusual name? Not at all; he set a good example by being able to laugh at it himself.
Mr. Brock still persisted. He inquired next what Allan had seen in the stranger to take such a fancy to? Allan had seen in him—what he didn’t see in people in general. He wasn’t like all the other fellows in the neighborhood. All the other fellows were cut out on the same pattern. Every man of them was equally healthy, muscular, loud, hard-hearted, clean-skinned, and rough; every man of them drank the same draughts of beer, smoked the same short pipes all day long, rode the best horse, shot over the best dog, and put the best bottle of wine in England on his table at night; every man of them sponged himself every morning in the same sort of tub of cold water and bragged about it in frosty weather in the same sort of way; every man of them thought getting into debt a capital joke and betting on horse-races one of the most meritorious actions that a human being can perform. They were, no doubt, excellent fellows in their way; but the worst of them was, they were all exactly alike. It was a perfect godsend to meet with a man like Midwinter—a man who was not cut out on the regular local pattern, and whose way in the world had the one great merit (in those parts) of being a way of his own.
Mr. Brock kept pressing. He asked what Allan saw in the stranger that made him take such a liking to him. Allan noticed something in him—something he didn’t see in most people. He wasn’t like all the other guys in the neighborhood. The other guys were all made from the same mold. Each one was just as healthy, muscular, loud, hard-hearted, clean-skinned, and rough; every one of them drank the same beer, smoked the same short pipes all day, rode the best horse, hunted with the best dog, and had the finest wine in England on their table at night; every one of them bathed every morning in the same cold water and bragged about it in winter in the same way; every one of them thought going into debt was a great joke and betting on horse races was one of the best things a person could do. They were certainly good guys in their own way; but the problem was, they were all exactly the same. It was a perfect blessing to meet someone like Midwinter—a man who wasn’t made by the usual local standards and whose approach to life had the one great advantage (in that area) of being completely his own.
Leaving all remonstrances for a fitter opportunity, the rector went back to Mrs. Armadale. He could not disguise from himself that Allan’s mother was the person really answerable for Allan’s present indiscretion. If the lad had seen a little less of the small gentry in the neighborhood, and a little more of the great outside world at home and abroad, the pleasure of cultivating Ozias Midwinter’s society might have had fewer attractions for him.
Leaving all objections for a better time, the rector returned to Mrs. Armadale. He couldn't deny to himself that Allan’s mother was the one truly responsible for Allan’s current mistakes. If the boy had spent a bit less time with the local minor gentry and a bit more time with the broader world, both at home and overseas, the appeal of spending time with Ozias Midwinter might have been less enticing for him.
Conscious of the unsatisfactory result of his visit to the inn, Mr. Brock felt some anxiety about the reception of his report when he found himself once more in Mrs. Armadale’s presence. His forebodings were soon realized. Try as he might to make the best of it, Mrs. Armadale seized on the one suspicious fact of the usher’s silence about himself as justifying the strongest measures that could be taken to separate him from her son. If the rector refused to interfere, she declared her intention of writing to Ozias Midwinter with her own hand. Remonstrance irritated her to such a pitch that she astounded Mr. Brock by reverting to the forbidden subject of five years since, and referring him to the conversation which had passed between them when the advertisement had been discovered in the newspaper. She passionately declared that the vagabond Armadale of that advertisement, and the vagabond Midwinter at the village inn, might, for all she know to the contrary, be one and the same. Foreboding a serious disagreement between the mother and son if the mother interfered, Mr. Brock undertook to see Midwinter again, and to tell him plainly that he must give a proper account of himself, or that his intimacy with Allan must cease. The two concessions which he exacted from Mrs. Armadale in return were that she should wait patiently until the doctor reported the man fit to travel, and that she should be careful in the interval not to mention the matter in any way to her son.
Feeling dissatisfied with his visit to the inn, Mr. Brock was anxious about how Mrs. Armadale would receive his report when he found himself in her presence again. His worries quickly came true. No matter how hard he tried to put a positive spin on it, Mrs. Armadale focused on the one concerning detail—the usher’s silence about himself—as a reason for taking the strongest actions to separate him from her son. If the rector refused to help, she announced her plan to write to Ozias Midwinter herself. Any objections only made her more agitated, leading her to shock Mr. Brock by bringing up the sensitive topic from five years ago and reminding him of their conversation when the advertisement had appeared in the newspaper. She vehemently insisted that the vagabond Armadale from the ad and the vagabond Midwinter at the village inn could, for all she knew, be the same person. Anticipating a serious conflict between mother and son if she intervened, Mr. Brock took it upon himself to talk to Midwinter again and clearly tell him that he needed to explain himself properly, or his friendship with Allan would need to end. The two conditions he got from Mrs. Armadale in return were that she would wait patiently until the doctor deemed the man fit to travel, and that she would refrain from mentioning the situation to her son in the meantime.
In a week’s time Midwinter was able to drive out (with Allan for his coachman) in the pony chaise belonging to the inn, and in ten days the doctor privately reported him as fit to travel. Toward the close of that tenth day, Mr. Brock met Allan and his new friend enjoying the last gleams of wintry sunshine in one of the inland lanes. He waited until the two had separated, and then followed the usher on his way back to the inn.
In a week, Midwinter was able to venture out (with Allan as his driver) in the pony cart from the inn, and after ten days, the doctor privately declared him fit to travel. Toward the end of that tenth day, Mr. Brock saw Allan and his new friend soaking in the last bits of winter sunshine in one of the country lanes. He waited until the two had parted ways, then followed the usher back to the inn.
The rector’s resolution to speak pitilessly to the purpose was in some danger of failing him as he drew nearer and nearer to the friendless man, and saw how feebly he still walked, how loosely his worn coat hung about him, and how heavily he leaned on his cheap, clumsy stick. Humanely reluctant to say the decisive words too precipitately, Mr. Brock tried him first with a little compliment on the range of his reading, as shown by the volume of Sophocles and the volume of Goethe which had been found in his bag, and asked how long he had been acquainted with German and Greek. The quick ear of Midwinter detected something wrong in the tone of Mr. Brock’s voice. He turned in the darkening twilight, and looked suddenly and suspiciously in the rector’s face.
The rector's decision to speak directly and without mercy was at risk of failing him as he got closer to the lonely man. He noticed how weakly he walked, how loosely his worn coat hung on him, and how heavily he relied on his cheap, awkward stick. Reluctant to say the crucial words too quickly, Mr. Brock began with a small compliment about the breadth of his reading, noting the volumes of Sophocles and Goethe found in his bag, and asked how long he had been studying German and Greek. Midwinter’s sharp ears picked up something off in Mr. Brock’s tone. He turned in the darkening twilight and looked suddenly and suspiciously at the rector's face.
“You have something to say to me,” he answered; “and it is not what you are saying now.”
“You have something to tell me,” he replied, “and it’s not what you’re saying right now.”
There was no help for it but to accept the challenge. Very delicately, with many preparatory words, to which the other listened in unbroken silence, Mr. Brock came little by little nearer and nearer to the point. Long before he had really reached it—long before a man of no more than ordinary sensibility would have felt what was coming—Ozias Midwinter stood still in the lane, and told the rector that he need say no more.
There was no choice but to accept the challenge. Very carefully, using many introductory words, which the other listened to in complete silence, Mr. Brock gradually made his way closer to the point. Long before he actually got there—long before someone with just average sensitivity would have sensed what was about to happen—Ozias Midwinter stopped in the lane and told the rector that he didn’t need to say anything more.
“I understand you, sir,” said the usher. “Mr. Armadale has an ascertained position in the world; Mr. Armadale has nothing to conceal, and nothing to be ashamed of. I agree with you that I am not a fit companion for him. The best return I can make for his kindness is to presume on it no longer. You may depend on my leaving this place to-morrow morning.”
“I get what you’re saying, sir,” said the usher. “Mr. Armadale has a solid standing in society; Mr. Armadale has nothing to hide or be embarrassed about. I agree that I’m not the right person to be around him. The best way I can show my gratitude for his kindness is to not take advantage of it any longer. You can count on me leaving this place tomorrow morning.”
He spoke no word more; he would hear no word more. With a self-control which, at his years and with his temperament, was nothing less than marvelous, he civilly took off his hat, bowed, and returned to the inn by himself.
He didn't say another word; he didn't want to hear another word. With a level of self-control that was nothing short of impressive for someone his age and temperament, he politely took off his hat, bowed, and walked back to the inn by himself.
Mr. Brock slept badly that night. The issue of the interview in the lane had made the problem of Ozias Midwinter a harder problem to solve than ever.
Mr. Brock had a rough night’s sleep. The situation with the interview in the lane had made Ozias Midwinter's problem harder to figure out than ever.
Early the next morning a letter was brought to the rector from the inn, and the messenger announced that the strange gentleman had taken his departure. The letter inclosed an open note addressed to Allan, and requested Allan’s tutor (after first reading it himself) to forward it or not at his own sole discretion. The note was a startlingly short one; it began and ended in a dozen words: “Don’t blame Mr. Brock; Mr. Brock is right. Thank you, and good-by.—O. M.”
Early the next morning, a letter arrived for the rector from the inn, and the messenger informed him that the mysterious gentleman had left. The letter included an open note addressed to Allan and asked Allan’s tutor to read it first and then decide whether to pass it on. The note was surprisingly brief; it began and ended in just a few words: “Don’t blame Mr. Brock; Mr. Brock is right. Thank you, and goodbye.—O. M.”
The rector forwarded the note to its proper destination, as a matter of course, and sent a few lines to Mrs. Armadale at the same time to quiet her anxiety by the news of the usher’s departure. This done, he waited the visit from his pupil, which would probably follow the delivery of the note, in no very tranquil frame of mind. There might or might not be some deep motive at the bottom of Midwinter’s conduct; but thus far it was impossible to deny that he had behaved in such a manner as to rebuke the rector’s distrust, and to justify Allan’s good opinion of him.
The rector sent the note to its intended recipient, as usual, and wrote a few lines to Mrs. Armadale at the same time to ease her worry about the usher’s departure. After that, he waited for his student to arrive, likely in response to the note, feeling anything but calm. There might be a deeper reason behind Midwinter’s actions; however, it was clear that he had acted in a way that challenged the rector’s doubts and confirmed Allan’s positive view of him.
The morning wore on, and young Armadale never appeared. After looking for him vainly in the yard where the yacht was building, Mr. Brock went to Mrs. Armadale’s house, and there heard news from the servant which turned his steps in the direction of the inn. The landlord at once acknowledged the truth: young Mr. Armadale had come there with an open letter in his hand, and had insisted on being informed of the road which his friend had taken. For the first time in the landlord’s experience of him, the young gentleman was out of temper; and the girl who waited on the customers had stupidly mentioned a circumstance which had added fuel to the fire. She had acknowledged having heard Mr. Midwinter lock himself into his room overnight, and burst into a violent fit of crying. That trifling particular had set Mr. Armadale’s face all of a flame; he had shouted and sworn; he had rushed into the stables; and forced the hostler to saddle him a horse, and had set off full gallop on the road that Ozias Midwinter had taken before him.
The morning went on, and young Armadale still didn't show up. After searching for him in vain at the yard where the yacht was being built, Mr. Brock went to Mrs. Armadale’s house, where he heard news from the servant that prompted him to head to the inn. The landlord immediately confirmed the story: young Mr. Armadale had arrived there with an open letter in his hand and demanded to know which way his friend had gone. For the first time in the landlord’s experience, the young man was in a bad mood; and the girl who served the customers had carelessly mentioned something that aggravated the situation. She revealed that she had heard Mr. Midwinter lock himself in his room the night before, which made Armadale burst into a fit of rage. That small detail set Mr. Armadale off; he shouted and cursed, rushed to the stables, forced the stablehand to saddle a horse for him, and took off at full speed in the direction that Ozias Midwinter had gone.
After cautioning the landlord to keep Allan’s conduct a secret if any of Mrs. Armadale’s servants came that morning to the inn, Mr. Brock went home again, and waited anxiously to see what the day would bring forth.
After warning the landlord to keep Allan’s behavior under wraps if any of Mrs. Armadale’s staff showed up at the inn that morning, Mr. Brock went home again and waited nervously to see what the day would bring.
To his infinite relief his pupil appeared at the rectory late in the afternoon.
To his endless relief, his student showed up at the rectory late in the afternoon.
Allan looked and spoke with a dogged determination which was quite new in his old friend’s experience of him. Without waiting to be questioned, he told his story in his usual straightforward way. He had overtaken Midwinter on the road; and—after trying vainly first to induce him to return, then to find out where he was going to—had threatened to keep company with him for the rest of the day, and had so extorted the confession that he was going to try his luck in London. Having gained this point, Allan had asked next for his friend’s address in London, had been entreated by the other not to press his request, had pressed it, nevertheless, with all his might, and had got the address at last by making an appeal to Midwinter’s gratitude, for which (feeling heartily ashamed of himself) he had afterward asked Midwinter’s pardon. “I like the poor fellow, and I won’t give him up,” concluded Allan, bringing his clinched fist down with a thump on the rectory table. “Don’t be afraid of my vexing my mother; I’ll leave you to speak to her, Mr. Brock, at your own time and in your own way; and I’ll just say this much more by way of bringing the thing to an end. Here is the address safe in my pocket-book, and here am I, standing firm for once on a resolution of my own. I’ll give you and my mother time to reconsider this; and, when the time is up, if my friend Midwinter doesn’t come to me, I’ll go to my friend Midwinter.”
Allan looked and spoke with a determined intensity that was new to his old friend. Without waiting for questions, he shared his story in his usual straightforward manner. He had caught up with Midwinter on the road and, after unsuccessfully trying to persuade him to turn back and then to figure out where he was headed, had threatened to stick with him for the rest of the day. This led to Midwinter reluctantly admitting that he was headed to London. Once he had that information, Allan asked for his friend's London address. Midwinter pleaded with him not to press the issue, but Allan pushed it anyway, finally getting the address by appealing to Midwinter's sense of gratitude, for which he felt deeply ashamed and later apologized. “I like the poor guy, and I won’t abandon him,” Allan concluded, bringing his fist down firmly on the rectory table. “Don’t worry about me upsetting my mother; I’ll let you talk to her, Mr. Brock, whenever you want and however you want. I’ll just add this: I have the address safely in my pocket, and I’m standing firm for once on my own decision. I’ll give you and my mom time to think this over, and when that time is up, if my friend Midwinter doesn’t come to me, I’ll go to my friend Midwinter.”
So the matter rested for the present; and such was the result of turning the castaway usher adrift in the world again.
So for now, that's where things stood; and that was the outcome of sending the castaway usher back out into the world.
——————
Understood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
A month passed, and brought in the new year—‘51. Overleaping that short lapse of time, Mr. Brock paused, with a heavy heart, at the next event; to his mind the one mournful, the one memorable event of the series—Mrs. Armadale’s death.
A month went by, and welcomed in the new year—'51. Skipping over that brief period, Mr. Brock paused, feeling somber, at the next event; in his eyes, it was the one sad, unforgettable moment of the series—Mrs. Armadale’s passing.
The first warning of the affliction that was near at hand had followed close on the usher’s departure in December, and had arisen out of a circumstance which dwelt painfully on the rector’s memory from that time forth.
The first warning of the trouble that was about to come had closely followed the usher’s departure in December and had come from a situation that stuck painfully in the rector’s memory from that point on.
But three days after Midwinter had left for London, Mr. Brock was accosted in the village by a neatly dressed woman, wearing a gown and bonnet of black silk and a red Paisley shawl, who was a total stranger to him, and who inquired the way to Mrs. Armadale’s house. She put the question without raising the thick black veil that hung over her face. Mr. Brock, in giving her the necessary directions, observed that she was a remarkably elegant and graceful woman, and looked after her as she bowed and left him, wondering who Mrs. Armadale’s visitor could possibly be.
But three days after Midwinter had left for London, Mr. Brock was approached in the village by a neatly dressed woman. She wore a black silk gown and bonnet, along with a red Paisley shawl, and was a complete stranger to him. She asked for directions to Mrs. Armadale’s house without lifting the thick black veil that covered her face. While giving her the instructions, Mr. Brock noticed that she was an incredibly elegant and graceful woman. He watched her as she bowed and walked away, wondering who Mrs. Armadale’s visitor could be.
A quarter of an hour later the lady, still veiled as before, passed Mr. Brock again close to the inn. She entered the house, and spoke to the landlady. Seeing the landlord shortly afterward hurrying round to the stables, Mr. Brock asked him if the lady was going away. Yes; she had come from the railway in the omnibus, but she was going back again more creditably in a carriage of her own hiring, supplied by the inn.
A quarter of an hour later, the lady, still wearing her veil, walked past Mr. Brock near the inn again. She went inside and talked to the landlady. When Mr. Brock saw the landlord rushing over to the stables shortly after, he asked him if the lady was leaving. Yes, she had arrived from the train station in the bus, but she was leaving in a carriage she had rented from the inn.
The rector proceeded on his walk, rather surprised to find his thoughts running inquisitively on a woman who was a stranger to him. When he got home again, he found the village surgeon waiting his return with an urgent message from Allan’s mother. About an hour since, the surgeon had been sent for in great haste to see Mrs. Armadale. He had found her suffering from an alarming nervous attack, brought on (as the servants suspected) by an unexpected, and, possibly, an unwelcome visitor, who had called that morning. The surgeon had done all that was needful, and had no apprehension of any dangerous results. Finding his patient eagerly desirous, on recovering herself, to see Mr. Brock immediately, he had thought it important to humor her, and had readily undertaken to call at the rectory with a message to that effect.
The rector continued his walk, somewhat surprised to find himself thinking curiously about a woman he didn’t know. When he got home, he discovered that the village surgeon was waiting for him with an urgent message from Allan’s mother. About an hour earlier, the surgeon had been called in a rush to see Mrs. Armadale. He found her experiencing a serious nervous attack, which the servants thought was triggered by an unexpected and possibly unwelcome visitor who had come earlier that morning. The surgeon had taken all necessary steps and wasn’t worried about any dangerous outcomes. Seeing that his patient was eager to see Mr. Brock as soon as she felt better, he thought it was important to accommodate her request and willingly agreed to stop by the rectory with a message.
Looking at Mrs. Armadale with a far deeper interest in her than the surgeon’s interest, Mr. Brock saw enough in her face, when it turned toward him on his entering the room, to justify instant and serious alarm. She allowed him no opportunity of soothing her; she heeded none of his inquiries. Answers to certain questions of her own were what she wanted, and what she was determined to have: Had Mr. Brock seen the woman who had presumed to visit her that morning? Yes. Had Allan seen her? No; Allan had been at work since breakfast, and was at work still, in his yard by the water-side.
Looking at Mrs. Armadale with much more concern than the surgeon had, Mr. Brock noticed enough on her face when she turned to him as he entered the room to feel immediate and serious alarm. She didn’t give him a chance to comfort her; she ignored all his questions. What she wanted was answers to certain questions of her own, and she was determined to get them: Had Mr. Brock seen the woman who had assumed she could visit her that morning? Yes. Had Allan seen her? No; Allan had been working since breakfast and was still working in his yard by the water.
This latter reply appeared to quiet Mrs. Armadale for the moment; she put her next question—the most extraordinary question of the three—more composedly: Did the rector think Allan would object to leaving his vessel for the present, and to accompanying his mother on a journey to look out for a new house in some other part of England? In the greatest amazement Mr. Brock asked what reason there could possibly be for leaving her present residence? Mrs. Armadale’s reason, when she gave it, only added to his surprise. The woman’s first visit might be followed by a second; and rather than see her again, rather than run the risk of Allan’s seeing her and speaking to her, Mrs. Armadale would leave England if necessary, and end her days in a foreign land. Taking counsel of his experience as a magistrate, Mr. Brock inquired if the woman had come to ask for money. Yes; respectably as she was dressed, she had described herself as being “in distress”; had asked for money, and had got it. But the money was of no importance; the one thing needful was to get away before the woman came again. More and more surprised, Mr. Brock ventured on another question: Was it long since Mrs. Armadale and her visitor had last met? Yes; longer than all Allan’s lifetime—as long ago as the year before Allan was born.
This reply seemed to calm Mrs. Armadale for the moment; she asked her next question—the most incredible one of the three—more calmly: Did the rector think Allan would mind leaving his ship for now and going with his mother to search for a new house somewhere else in England? Mr. Brock was utterly amazed and asked what reason there could possibly be for leaving her current home. When Mrs. Armadale gave her reason, it only added to his shock. The woman’s first visit might lead to a second; and rather than see her again, and risk Allan running into her and talking to her, Mrs. Armadale would leave England if necessary and spend the rest of her days in another country. Drawing on his experience as a magistrate, Mr. Brock asked if the woman had come to ask for money. Yes; even though she was dressed well, she claimed to be “in distress”; she had asked for money, and he had given it to her. But the money didn't matter; the only thing that was important was to get away before the woman came back. Growing even more surprised, Mr. Brock hesitated to ask another question: Had it been long since Mrs. Armadale and her visitor had last met? Yes; longer than Allan's lifetime—so long ago it was the year before Allan was born.
At that reply, the rector shifted his ground, and took counsel next of his experience as a friend.
At that response, the rector changed his approach and considered his experience as a friend.
“Is this person,” he asked, “connected in any way with the painful remembrances of your early life?”
“Is this person,” he asked, “linked in any way to the painful memories of your early life?”
“Yes; with the painful remembrance of the time when I was married,” said Mrs. Armadale. “She was associated, as a mere child, with a circumstance which I must think of with shame and sorrow to my dying day.”
“Yes; with the painful memory of the time when I was married,” said Mrs. Armadale. “She was linked, as a mere child, to a situation that I will have to think of with shame and sadness for the rest of my life.”
Mr. Brock noticed the altered tone in which his old friend spoke, and the unwillingness with which she gave her answer.
Mr. Brock noticed the changed tone in which his old friend spoke and the hesitation with which she provided her answer.
“Can you tell me more about her without referring to yourself?” he went on. “I am sure I can protect you, if you will only help me a little. Her name, for instance—you can tell me her name?”
“Can you tell me more about her without talking about yourself?” he continued. “I’m sure I can help you, if you would just assist me a bit. What’s her name, for example—you can share her name with me?”
Mrs. Armadale shook her head, “The name I knew her by,” she said, “would be of no use to you. She has been married since then; she told me so herself.”
Mrs. Armadale shook her head, “The name I knew her by,” she said, “wouldn't mean anything to you. She’s been married since then; she told me that herself.”
“And without telling you her married name?”
“And without telling you her married name?”
“She refused to tell it.”
“She wouldn’t share it.”
“Do you know anything of her friends?”
“Do you know anything about her friends?”
“Only of her friends when she was a child. They called themselves her uncle and aunt. They were low people, and they deserted her at the school on my father’s estate. We never heard any more of them.”
“Only her friends from when she was a child. They referred to themselves as her uncle and aunt. They were not good people, and they abandoned her at the school on my father’s estate. We never heard from them again.”
“Did she remain under your father’s care?”
“Did she stay under your dad’s care?”
“She remained under my care; that is to say, she traveled with us. We were leaving England, just as that time, for Madeira. I had my father’s leave to take her with me, and to train the wretch to be my maid—”
“She stayed with me; in other words, she traveled with us. We were leaving England at that time for Madeira. I had my father's permission to take her with me and to train the poor girl to be my maid—”
At those words Mrs. Armadale stopped confusedly. Mr. Brock tried gently to lead her on. It was useless; she started up in violent agitation, and walked excitedly backward and forward in the room.
At those words, Mrs. Armadale stopped, looking confused. Mr. Brock tried gently to encourage her to continue. It was pointless; she sprang up in intense agitation and paced back and forth in the room.
“Don’t ask me any more!” she cried out, in loud, angry tones. “I parted with her when she was a girl of twelve years old. I never saw her again, I never heard of her again, from that time to this. I don’t know how she has discovered me, after all the years that have passed; I only know that she has discovered me. She will find her way to Allan next; she will poison my son’s mind against me. Help me to get away from her! help me to take Allan away before she comes back!”
“Don’t ask me anything else!” she shouted, her voice loud and filled with anger. “I lost touch with her when she was just twelve years old. I never saw her again, and I never heard from her again, until now. I have no idea how she found me after all these years; I just know that she has. She’ll go after Allan next; she’ll turn my son against me. Help me get away from her! Help me take Allan away before she comes back!”
The rector asked no more questions; it would have been cruel to press her further. The first necessity was to compose her by promising compliance with all that she desired. The second was to induce her to see another medical man. Mr. Brock contrived to reach his end harmlessly in this latter case by reminding her that she wanted strength to travel, and that her own medical attendant might restore her all the more speedily to herself if he were assisted by the best professional advice. Having overcome her habitual reluctance to seeing strangers by this means, the rector at once went to Allan; and, delicately concealing what Mrs. Armadale had said at the interview, broke the news to him that his mother was seriously ill. Allan would hear of no messengers being sent for assistance: he drove off on the spot to the railway, and telegraphed himself to Bristol for medical help.
The rector asked no more questions; it would have been cruel to push her further. The first priority was to calm her by promising to meet all her wishes. The second was to persuade her to see another doctor. Mr. Brock managed to achieve this gently by reminding her that she needed strength to travel, and that her own doctor could help her recover more quickly if he had the best professional advice. Having eased her usual reluctance to see strangers in this way, the rector immediately went to Allan and, carefully omitting what Mrs. Armadale had said during their meeting, broke the news to him that his mother was seriously ill. Allan refused to consider sending anyone for help: he drove straight to the train station and telegraphed himself to Bristol for medical assistance.
On the next morning the help came, and Mr. Brock’s worst fears were confirmed. The village surgeon had fatally misunderstood the case from the first, and the time was past now at which his errors of treatment might have been set right. The shock of the previous morning had completed the mischief. Mrs. Armadale’s days were numbered.
On the next morning, the help arrived, and Mr. Brock's worst fears were confirmed. The village surgeon had completely misdiagnosed the case from the start, and it was now too late to correct his treatment mistakes. The shock from the previous morning had made things worse. Mrs. Armadale's days were numbered.
The son who dearly loved her, the old friend to whom her life was precious, hoped vainly to the last. In a month from the physician’s visit all hope was over; and Allan shed the first bitter tears of his life at his mother’s grave.
The son who loved her dearly, the old friend who cherished her life, hoped in vain until the very end. A month after the doctor's visit, all hope was lost; and Allan shed the first bitter tears of his life at his mother's grave.
She had died more peacefully than Mr. Brock had dared to hope, leaving all her little fortune to her son, and committing him solemnly to the care of her one friend on earth. The rector had entreated her to let him write and try to reconcile her brothers with her before it was too late. She had only answered sadly that it was too late already. But one reference escaped her in her last illness to those early sorrows which had weighed heavily on all her after-life, and which had passed thrice already, like shadows of evil, between the rector and herself. Even on her deathbed she had shrunk from letting the light fall clearly on the story of the past. She had looked at Allan kneeling by the bedside, and had whispered to Mr. Brock: “Never let his Namesake come near him! Never let that Woman find him out!” No word more fell from her that touched on the misfortunes which had tried her in the past, or on the dangers which she dreaded in the future. The secret which she had kept from her son and from her friend was a secret which she carried with her to the grave.
She passed away more peacefully than Mr. Brock had hoped, leaving her small fortune to her son and entrusting him solemnly to her only friend on earth. The rector had begged her to allow him to write and try to reconcile her with her brothers before it was too late. She simply replied sadly that it was already too late. However, during her last illness, she briefly mentioned the early sorrows that had weighed heavily on her throughout her life, which had already separated her from the rector three times, like shadows of evil. Even on her deathbed, she avoided shedding light on the story of her past. She glanced at Allan kneeling by her bedside and whispered to Mr. Brock: “Never let his Namesake come near him! Never let that Woman find him!” No more words were said about the misfortunes she had faced in the past or the dangers she feared in the future. The secret she kept from her son and her friend was a burden she brought with her to the grave.
When the last offices of affection and respect had been performed, Mr. Brock felt it his duty, as executor to the deceased lady, to write to her brothers, and to give them information of her death. Believing that he had to deal with two men who would probably misinterpret his motives if he left Allan’s position unexplained, he was careful to remind them that Mrs. Armadale’s son was well provided for, and that the object of his letter was simply to communicate the news of their sister’s decease. The two letters were dispatched toward the middle of January, and by return of post the answers were received. The first which the rector opened was written not by the elder brother, but by the elder brother’s only son. The young man had succeeded to the estates in Norfolk on his father’s death, some little time since. He wrote in a frank and friendly spirit, assuring Mr. Brock that, however strongly his father might have been prejudiced against Mrs. Armadale, the hostile feeling had never extended to her son. For himself, he had only to add that he would be sincerely happy to welcome his cousin to Thorpe Ambrose whenever his cousin came that way.
When the final acts of love and respect had been done, Mr. Brock felt it was his responsibility, as executor for the deceased lady, to write to her brothers and inform them of her passing. Knowing that he was dealing with two men who might misinterpret his intentions if he didn’t explain Allan’s situation, he made sure to mention that Mrs. Armadale’s son was well taken care of and that the purpose of his letter was simply to share the news of their sister’s death. The two letters were sent out around mid-January, and the responses came back promptly. The first letter the rector opened wasn’t from the elder brother but from his only son. The young man had inherited the estates in Norfolk after his father’s recent death. He wrote in a straightforward and friendly tone, assuring Mr. Brock that, no matter how much his father might have held a grudge against Mrs. Armadale, that negative sentiment never extended to her son. As for himself, he added that he would be genuinely happy to welcome his cousin to Thorpe Ambrose whenever he visited.
The second letter was a far less agreeable reply to receive than the first. The younger brother was still alive, and still resolute neither to forget nor forgive. He informed Mr. Brock that his deceased sister’s choice of a husband, and her conduct to her father at the time of her marriage, had made any relations of affection or esteem impossible, on his side, from that time forth. Holding the opinions he did, it would be equally painful to his nephew and himself if any personal intercourse took place between them. He had adverted, as generally as possible, to the nature of the differences which had kept him apart from his late sister, in order to satisfy Mr. Brock’s mind that a personal acquaintance with young Mr. Armadale was, as a matter of delicacy, quite out of the question and, having done this, he would beg leave to close the correspondence.
The second letter was much less pleasant to receive than the first. The younger brother was still alive and still determined not to forget or forgive. He told Mr. Brock that his late sister’s choice of a husband and her behavior toward their father at the time of her marriage had made any possibility of affection or respect from him impossible from that moment on. Given his views, it would be equally uncomfortable for both his nephew and himself if they were to have any personal interaction. He had briefly mentioned the nature of the differences that had kept him apart from his late sister to assure Mr. Brock that, out of respect, a personal relationship with young Mr. Armadale was completely out of the question. Having said this, he would like to end the correspondence.
Mr. Brock wisely destroyed the second letter on the spot, and, after showing Allan his cousin’s invitation, suggested that he should go to Thorpe Ambrose as soon as he felt fit to present himself to strangers.
Mr. Brock smartly got rid of the second letter right away, and after showing Allan his cousin’s invitation, he suggested that Allan should head to Thorpe Ambrose as soon as he felt ready to meet new people.
Allan listened to the advice patiently enough; but he declined to profit by it. “I will shake hands with my cousin willingly if I ever meet him,” he said; “but I will visit no family, and be a guest in no house, in which my mother has been badly treated.” Mr. Brock remonstrated gently, and tried to put matters in their proper light. Even at that time—even while he was still ignorant of events which were then impending—Allan’s strangely isolated position in the world was a subject of serious anxiety to his old friend and tutor. The proposed visit to Thorpe Ambrose opened the very prospect of his making friends and connections suited to him in rank and age which Mr. Brock most desired to see; but Allan was not to be persuaded; he was obstinate and unreasonable; and the rector had no alternative but to drop the subject.
Allan listened to the advice patiently enough, but he refused to take it. “I’ll shake hands with my cousin if I ever meet him,” he said, “but I won’t visit any family or be a guest in any house where my mother has been mistreated.” Mr. Brock gently argued with him and tried to put things in perspective. Even at that time—even while he was still unaware of the upcoming events—Allan’s strangely isolated situation in the world caused serious concern for his old friend and tutor. The suggested visit to Thorpe Ambrose presented a real chance for him to make friends and connections suited to his rank and age, which Mr. Brock was eager to see happen; but Allan wouldn’t be persuaded; he was stubborn and unreasonable, and the rector had no choice but to drop the subject.
One on another the weeks passed monotonously, and Allan showed but little of the elasticity of his age and character in bearing the affliction that had made him motherless. He finished and launched his yacht; but his own journeymen remarked that the work seemed to have lost its interest for him. It was not natural to the young man to brood over his solitude and his grief as he was brooding now. As the spring advanced, Mr. Brock began to feel uneasy about the future, if Allan was not roused at once by change of scene. After much pondering, the rector decided on trying a trip to Paris, and on extending the journey southward if his companion showed an interest in Continental traveling. Allan’s reception of the proposal made atonement for his obstinacy in refusing to cultivate his cousin’s acquaintance; he was willing to go with Mr. Brock wherever Mr. Brock pleased. The rector took him at his word, and in the middle of March the two strangely assorted companions left for London on their way to Paris.
The weeks dragged on without excitement, and Allan didn't show much of his youthful spirit or resilience while dealing with the loss of his mother. He finished and launched his yacht, but his workers noticed he seemed less interested than before. It wasn't like him to dwell on his loneliness and sadness like he was doing now. As spring approached, Mr. Brock grew concerned about Allan's future if he didn't get a change of scenery soon. After giving it some thought, the rector decided to suggest a trip to Paris, with the possibility of heading further south if Allan showed interest in traveling abroad. Allan’s response to the suggestion made up for his stubbornness in avoiding his cousin; he was willing to travel with Mr. Brock wherever he wanted. The rector took him at his word, and in mid-March, the two unlikely companions set off for London on their way to Paris.
Arrived in London, Mr. Brock found himself unexpectedly face to face with a new anxiety. The unwelcome subject of Ozias Midwinter, which had been buried in peace since the beginning of December, rose to the surface again, and confronted the rector at the very outset of his travels, more unmanageably than ever.
Arriving in London, Mr. Brock found himself suddenly facing a new anxiety. The unwelcome topic of Ozias Midwinter, which had been laid to rest since early December, resurfaced and confronted the rector right at the start of his journey, more unmanageable than before.
Mr. Brock’s position in dealing with this difficult matter had been hard enough to maintain when he had first meddled with it. He now found himself with no vantage-ground left to stand on. Events had so ordered it that the difference of opinion between Allan and his mother on the subject of the usher was entirely disassociated with the agitation which had hastened Mrs. Armadale’s death. Allan’s resolution to say no irritating words, and Mr. Brock’s reluctance to touch on a disagreeable topic, had kept them both silent about Midwinter in Mrs. Armadale’s presence during the three days which had intervened between that person’s departure and the appearance of the strange woman in the village. In the period of suspense and suffering that had followed no recurrence to the subject of the usher had been possible, and none had taken place. Free from all mental disquietude on this score, Allan had stoutly preserved his perverse interest in his new friend. He had written to tell Midwinter of his affliction, and he now proposed (unless the rector formally objected to it) paying a visit to his friend before he started for Paris the next morning.
Mr. Brock’s position in handling this tricky situation had been difficult enough when he first got involved. Now, he found himself with no solid ground to stand on. Circumstances had aligned so that the disagreement between Allan and his mother regarding the usher was completely separate from the distress that had contributed to Mrs. Armadale’s death. Allan’s decision to avoid saying any irritating things, along with Mr. Brock’s hesitation to bring up an uncomfortable topic, had kept them both quiet about Midwinter in Mrs. Armadale’s presence during the three days between that person's departure and the arrival of the strange woman in the village. In the time of tension and suffering that followed, there had been no chance to revisit the subject of the usher, and none had happened. Free from any mental distress about this, Allan had stubbornly maintained his unusual interest in his new friend. He had written to inform Midwinter of his sorrow, and he now intended (unless the rector formally objected) to visit his friend before he left for Paris the next morning.
What was Mr. Brock to do? There was no denying that Midwinter’s conduct had pleaded unanswerably against poor Mrs. Armadale’s unfounded distrust of him. If the rector, with no convincing reason to allege against it, and with no right to interfere but the right which Allan’s courtesy gave him, declined to sanction the proposed visit, then farewell to all the old sociability and confidence between tutor and pupil on the contemplated tour. Environed by difficulties, which might have been possibly worsted by a less just and a less kind-hearted man, Mr. Brock said a cautious word or two at parting, and (with more confidence in Midwinter’s discretion and self-denial than he quite liked to acknowledge, even to himself) left Allan free to take his own way.
What was Mr. Brock supposed to do? It was clear that Midwinter’s behavior had clearly argued against poor Mrs. Armadale’s baseless distrust of him. If the rector, without any solid reasons to oppose it and with no authority to interfere other than the courtesy Allan extended to him, decided not to approve the planned visit, then that would mean the end of all the previous friendliness and trust between tutor and pupil on this upcoming trip. Facing challenges that a less fair-minded and compassionate person might have handled differently, Mr. Brock cautiously said a few parting words and, (with more faith in Midwinter’s judgment and self-control than he wanted to admit, even to himself) allowed Allan to choose his own path.
After whiling away an hour, during the interval of his pupil’s absence, by a walk in the streets, the rector returned to his hotel, and, finding the newspaper disengaged in the coffee-room, sat down absently to look over it. His eye, resting idly on the title-page, was startled into instant attention by the very first advertisement that it chanced to light on at the head of the column. There was Allan’s mysterious namesake again, figuring in capital letters, and associated this time (in the character of a dead man) with the offer of a pecuniary reward. Thus it ran:
After wasting an hour while his student was away by taking a walk in the streets, the rector returned to his hotel and, finding the newspaper free in the coffee room, sat down absentmindedly to read it. His gaze, wandering over the title page, was suddenly drawn into focus by the very first advertisement that caught his eye at the top of the column. There it was again, Allan’s mysterious namesake, appearing in all capital letters, and this time linked (as a deceased person) to a monetary reward. It read:
SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.—To parish clerks, sextons, and others. Twenty Pounds reward will be paid to any person who can produce evidence of the death of ALLAN ARMADALE, only son of the late Allan Armadale, of Barbadoes, and born in Trinidad in the year 1830. Further particulars on application to Messrs. Hammick and Ridge, Lincoln’s Inn Fields, London.
SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD.—To parish clerks, sextons, and others. A reward of Twenty Pounds will be given to anyone who can provide proof of the death of ALLAN ARMADALE, the only son of the late Allan Armadale from Barbadoes, born in Trinidad in 1830. For more details, contact Messrs. Hammick and Ridge, Lincoln’s Inn Fields, London.
Even Mr. Brock’s essentially unimaginative mind began to stagger superstitiously in the dark as he laid the newspaper down again. Little by little a vague suspicion took possession of him that the whole series of events which had followed the first appearance of Allan’s namesake in the newspaper six years since was held together by some mysterious connection, and was tending steadily to some unimaginable end. Without knowing why, he began to feel uneasy at Allan’s absence. Without knowing why, he became impatient to get his pupil away from England before anything else happened between night and morning.
Even Mr. Brock’s pretty unimaginative mind started to feel a bit superstitious in the dark as he put the newspaper down again. Slowly but surely, a vague suspicion crept into his mind that the whole series of events following the first mention of Allan’s namesake in the newspaper six years ago were linked by some mysterious connection and were steadily moving toward some unimaginable conclusion. For reasons he couldn’t pinpoint, he started to feel uneasy about Allan’s absence. For reasons he couldn’t understand, he became anxious to get his student out of England before something else happened overnight.
In an hour more the rector was relieved of all immediate anxiety by Allan’s return to the hotel. The young man was vexed and out of spirits. He had discovered Midwinter’s lodgings, but he had failed to find Midwinter himself. The only account his landlady could give of him was that he had gone out at his customary time to get his dinner at the nearest eating-house, and that he had not returned, in accordance with his usual regular habits, at his usual regular hour. Allan had therefore gone to inquire at the eating-house, and had found, on describing him, that Midwinter was well known there. It was his custom, on other days, to take a frugal dinner, and to sit half an hour afterward reading the newspaper. On this occasion, after dining, he had taken up the paper as usual, had suddenly thrown it aside again, and had gone, nobody knew where, in a violent hurry. No further information being attainable, Allan had left a note at the lodgings, giving his address at the hotel, and begging Midwinter to come and say good-by before his departure for Paris.
In an hour, the rector was relieved of all immediate worry by Allan’s return to the hotel. The young man was frustrated and down. He had found Midwinter’s place but hadn’t been able to locate Midwinter himself. The only information his landlady could provide was that he had left at his usual time to grab dinner at the closest restaurant and hadn’t come back at his regular hour, as he usually did. Allan had then gone to check at the restaurant and learned, after describing him, that Midwinter was well-known there. On other days, he typically had a simple dinner and spent half an hour afterward reading the newspaper. However, this time, after finishing his meal, he picked up the paper as usual, suddenly tossed it aside, and left in a hurry, with no one knowing where he went. With no more information to find, Allan left a note at the lodgings with his hotel address, asking Midwinter to come and say goodbye before he left for Paris.
The evening passed, and Allan’s invisible friend never appeared. The morning came, bringing no obstacles with it, and Mr. Brock and his pupil left London. So far Fortune had declared herself at last on the rector’s side. Ozias Midwinter, after intrusively rising to the surface, had conveniently dropped out of sight again. What was to happen next?
The evening went by, and Allan’s invisible friend never showed up. The morning arrived without any issues, and Mr. Brock and his student left London. So far, luck had finally sided with the rector. Ozias Midwinter, after awkwardly surfacing, had conveniently vanished again. What was going to happen next?
——————
Understood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
Advancing once more, by three weeks only, from past to present, Mr. Brock’s memory took up the next event on the seventh of April. To all appearance, the chain was now broken at last. The new event had no recognizable connection (either to his mind or to Allan’s) with any of the persons who had appeared, or any of the circumstances that had happened, in the by-gone time.
Advancing once again, just three weeks, from the past to the present, Mr. Brock’s memory picked up the next event on April 7th. To all appearances, the chain was finally broken. The new event had no recognizable connection (either to his mind or to Allan’s) with any of the people who had appeared or any of the circumstances that had occurred in the past.
The travelers had as yet got no further than Paris. Allan’s spirits had risen with the change; and he had been made all the readier to enjoy the novelty of the scene around him by receiving a letter from Midwinter, containing news which Mr. Brock himself acknowledged promised fairly for the future. The ex-usher had been away on business when Allan had called at his lodgings, having been led by an accidental circumstance to open communications with his relatives on that day. The result had taken him entirely by surprise: it had unexpectedly secured to him a little income of his own for the rest of his life. His future plans, now that this piece of good fortune had fallen to his share, were still unsettled. But if Allan wished to hear what he ultimately decided on, his agent in London (whose direction he inclosed) would receive communications for him, and would furnish Mr. Armadale at all future times with his address.
The travelers had only made it as far as Paris. Allan’s mood had lifted with the change; and he was even more ready to enjoy the excitement of his surroundings after getting a letter from Midwinter, which included news that Mr. Brock himself acknowledged looked promising for the future. The former assistant had been away on business when Allan visited his place, having been prompted by a chance event to reach out to his family that day. The outcome surprised him completely: it unexpectedly guaranteed him a small income of his own for the rest of his life. His future plans, now that this stroke of good luck had come his way, were still up in the air. But if Allan wanted to know what he eventually decided, his agent in London (whose address he included) would take messages for him and would keep Mr. Armadale updated with his address in the future.
On receipt of this letter, Allan had seized the pen in his usual headlong way, and had insisted on Midwinter’s immediately joining Mr. Brock and himself on their travels. The last days of March passed, and no answer to the proposal was received. The first days of April came, and on the seventh of the month there was a letter for Allan at last on the breakfast-table. He snatched it up, looked at the address, and threw the letter down again impatiently. The handwriting was not Midwinter’s. Allan finished his breakfast before he cared to read what his correspondent had to say to him.
When Allan got this letter, he grabbed the pen in his typical impulsive way and insisted that Midwinter join him and Mr. Brock on their travels right away. The last days of March went by, and they received no response to the suggestion. The first days of April arrived, and on the seventh, there was finally a letter for Allan on the breakfast table. He quickly picked it up, glanced at the address, and then tossed it down again with frustration. The handwriting wasn't Midwinter's. Allan finished his breakfast before he bothered to read what the sender had to say.
The meal over, young Armadale lazily opened the letter. He began it with an expression of supreme indifference. He finished it with a sudden leap out of his chair, and a loud shout of astonishment. Wondering, as he well might, at this extraordinary outbreak, Mr. Brock took up the letter which Allan had tossed across the table to him. Before he had come to the end of it, his hands dropped helplessly on his knees, and the blank bewilderment of his pupil’s expression was accurately reflected on his own face.
The meal done, young Armadale casually opened the letter. He started it with a look of complete indifference. He ended it with a sudden jump out of his chair and a loud shout of surprise. Wondering, as he surely could, at this unexpected reaction, Mr. Brock picked up the letter that Allan had tossed across the table to him. By the time he finished reading it, his hands fell helplessly onto his knees, and the blank confusion on his pupil’s face was perfectly mirrored on his own.
If ever two men had good cause for being thrown completely off their balance, Allan and the rector were those two. The letter which had struck them both with the same shock of astonishment did, beyond all question, contain an announcement which, on a first discovery of it, was simply incredible. The news was from Norfolk, and was to this effect. In little more than one week’s time death had mown down no less than three lives in the family at Thorpe Ambrose, and Allan Armadale was at that moment heir to an estate of eight thousand a year!
If there were ever two guys who had a solid reason to be completely thrown off balance, it was Allan and the rector. The letter that hit them both with the same shock of disbelief definitely contained an announcement that, upon first glance, was just unbelievable. The news came from Norfolk and stated that in just over a week, death had claimed no fewer than three lives in the family at Thorpe Ambrose, and Allan Armadale was currently the heir to an estate worth eight thousand a year!
A second perusal of the letter enabled the rector and his companion to master the details which had escaped them on a first reading.
A second look at the letter allowed the rector and his companion to grasp the details they had missed on the first read.
The writer was the family lawyer at Thorpe Ambrose. After announcing to Allan the deaths of his cousin Arthur at the age of twenty-five, of his uncle Henry at the age of forty-eight, and of his cousin John at the age of twenty-one, the lawyer proceeded to give a brief abstract of the terms of the elder Mr. Blanchard’s will. The claims of male issue were, as is not unusual in such cases, preferred to the claims of female issue. Failing Arthur and his issue male, the estate was left to Henry and his issue male. Failing them, it went to the issue male of Henry’s sister; and, in default of such issue, to the next heir male. As events had happened, the two young men, Arthur and John, had died unmarried, and Henry Blanchard had died, leaving no surviving child but a daughter. Under these circumstances, Allan was the next heir male pointed at by the will, and was now legally successor to the Thorpe Ambrose estate. Having made this extraordinary announcement, the lawyer requested to be favored with Mr. Armadale’s instructions, and added, in conclusion, that he would be happy to furnish any further particulars that were desired.
The lawyer for the family at Thorpe Ambrose delivered some unfortunate news to Allan: his cousin Arthur had passed away at twenty-five, his uncle Henry at forty-eight, and his cousin John at twenty-one. The lawyer then summarized the key points of Mr. Blanchard’s will. As is often the case, the will favored male heirs over female ones. If there were no male heirs from Arthur, the estate would go to Henry and his male heirs. If they were also unavailable, it would be passed on to the male heirs of Henry’s sister; if that didn’t apply, it would go to the next male heir. Since events unfolded as they did, with Arthur and John both dying unmarried and Henry Blanchard leaving only a daughter, Allan became the next male heir specified in the will and was now the legal successor to the Thorpe Ambrose estate. After sharing this significant news, the lawyer asked Allan for his instructions and offered to provide more details if needed.
It was useless to waste time in wondering at an event which neither Allan nor his mother had ever thought of as even remotely possible. The only thing to be done was to go back to England at once. The next day found the travelers installed once more in their London hotel, and the day after the affair was placed in the proper professional hands. The inevitable corresponding and consulting ensued, and one by one the all-important particulars flowed in, until the measure of information was pronounced to be full.
It was pointless to spend time wondering about something that neither Allan nor his mom had ever considered even slightly possible. The only thing to do was head back to England immediately. The next day, the travelers were settled again in their London hotel, and the day after that, the situation was handed over to the right professionals. The necessary correspondence and consultations followed, and gradually, all the crucial details came in until there was enough information to conclude.
This was the strange story of the three deaths:
This was the odd tale of the three deaths:
At the time when Mr. Brock had written to Mrs. Armadale’s relatives to announce the news of her decease (that is to say, in the middle of the month of January), the family at Thorpe Ambrose numbered five persons—Arthur Blanchard (in possession of the estate), living in the great house with his mother; and Henry Blanchard, the uncle, living in the neighborhood, a widower with two children, a son and a daughter. To cement the family connection still more closely, Arthur Blanchard was engaged to be married to his cousin. The wedding was to be celebrated with great local rejoicings in the coming summer, when the young lady had completed her twentieth year.
At the time Mr. Brock wrote to Mrs. Armadale’s relatives to share the news of her passing (specifically, in mid-January), the family at Thorpe Ambrose consisted of five people—Arthur Blanchard (who owned the estate), living in the main house with his mother; and Henry Blanchard, the uncle, living nearby, a widower with two kids, a son and a daughter. To strengthen the family ties even further, Arthur Blanchard was engaged to marry his cousin. The wedding was set to be celebrated with great local festivities that coming summer, when the young lady turned twenty.
The month of February had brought changes with it in the family position. Observing signs of delicacy in the health of his son, Mr. Henry Blanchard left Norfolk, taking the young man with him, under medical advice, to try the climate of Italy. Early in the ensuing month of March, Arthur Blanchard also left Thorpe Ambrose, for a few days only, on business which required his presence in London. The business took him into the City. Annoyed by the endless impediments in the streets, he returned westward by one of the river steamers, and, so returning, met his death.
The month of February brought changes to the family's situation. Noticing some health issues with his son, Mr. Henry Blanchard left Norfolk, taking the young man with him, following medical advice to try the climate in Italy. Early in the following month of March, Arthur Blanchard also left Thorpe Ambrose, but just for a few days, for business that required him to be in London. He had to go into the City. Frustrated by the constant obstacles in the streets, he returned westward on one of the river steamers, and during that return, he met his death.
As the steamer left the wharf, he noticed a woman near him who had shown a singular hesitation in embarking, and who had been the last of the passengers to take her place in the vessel. She was neatly dressed in black silk, with a red Paisley shawl over her shoulders, and she kept her face hidden behind a thick veil. Arthur Blanchard was struck by the rare grace and elegance of her figure, and he felt a young man’s passing curiosity to see her face. She neither lifted her veil nor turned her head his way. After taking a few steps hesitatingly backward and forward on the deck, she walked away on a sudden to the stern of the vessel. In a minute more there was a cry of alarm from the man at the helm, and the engines were stopped immediately. The woman had thrown herself overboard.
As the steamer pulled away from the dock, he noticed a woman nearby who had hesitated noticeably before boarding and was the last passenger to find her spot on the boat. She was dressed neatly in black silk, with a red Paisley shawl draped over her shoulders, and she kept her face hidden behind a thick veil. Arthur Blanchard was captivated by the unusual grace and elegance of her figure, and he felt a young man's fleeting curiosity to catch a glimpse of her face. She didn't lift her veil or turn her head in his direction. After shifting awkwardly backward and forward on the deck for a moment, she suddenly walked toward the back of the vessel. Moments later, there was a shout of alarm from the man at the helm, and the engines were stopped immediately. The woman had jumped overboard.
The passengers all rushed to the side of the vessel to look. Arthur Blanchard alone, without an instant’s hesitation, jumped into the river. He was an excellent swimmer, and he reached the woman as she rose again to the surface, after sinking for the first time. Help was at hand, and they were both brought safely ashore. The woman was taken to the nearest police station, and was soon restored to her senses, her preserver giving his name and address, as usual in such cases, to the inspector on duty, who wisely recommended him to get into a warm bath, and to send to his lodgings for dry clothes. Arthur Blanchard, who had never known an hour’s illness since he was a child, laughed at the caution, and went back in a cab. The next day he was too ill to attend the examination before the magistrate. A fortnight afterward he was a dead man.
The passengers all rushed to the side of the boat to see what was happening. Arthur Blanchard, without a moment's hesitation, jumped into the river. He was a great swimmer, and he reached the woman just as she was coming up to the surface after having gone under for the first time. Help was available, and they were both safely brought back to shore. The woman was taken to the nearest police station and quickly recovered her senses, while Arthur gave his name and address, as is standard in these situations, to the inspector on duty, who wisely suggested he take a warm bath and have dry clothes sent from his place. Arthur Blanchard, who hadn’t been sick a single hour since he was a child, laughed off the advice and took a cab back. The next day, he was too sick to go to the magistrate’s hearing. Two weeks later, he was dead.
The news of the calamity reached Henry Blanchard and his son at Milan, and within an hour of the time when they received it they were on their way back to England. The snow on the Alps had loosened earlier than usual that year, and the passes were notoriously dangerous. The father and son, traveling in their own carriage, were met on the mountain by the mail returning, after sending the letters on by hand. Warnings which would have produced their effect under any ordinary circumstances were now vainly addressed to the two Englishmen. Their impatience to be at home again, after the catastrophe which had befallen their family, brooked no delay. Bribes lavishly offered to the postilions, tempted them to go on. The carriage pursued its way, and was lost to view in the mist. When it was seen again, it was disinterred from the bottom of a precipice—the men, the horses, and the vehicle all crushed together under the wreck and ruin of an avalanche.
The news of the disaster reached Henry Blanchard and his son in Milan, and within an hour of hearing it, they were on their way back to England. The snow on the Alps had melted earlier than usual that year, making the mountain passes notoriously dangerous. The father and son, traveling in their own carriage, encountered the returning mail carriage that had sent the letters ahead on foot. Warnings that would have been significant under normal circumstances were completely ignored by the two Englishmen. Their eagerness to return home after the tragedy that had struck their family allowed for no delay. Generous bribes offered to the drivers motivated them to continue. The carriage pressed on, disappearing into the fog. When it reappeared, it was discovered at the bottom of a cliff—the men, the horses, and the carriage all crushed together under the wreckage of an avalanche.
So the three lives were mown down by death. So, in a clear sequence of events, a woman’s suicide-leap into a river had opened to Allan Armadale the succession to the Thorpe Ambrose estates.
So the three lives were cut short by death. In a clear sequence of events, a woman's suicide leap into a river had opened up the inheritance of the Thorpe Ambrose estates to Allan Armadale.
Who was the woman? The man who saved her life never knew. The magistrate who remanded her, the chaplain who exhorted her, the reporter who exhibited her in print, never knew. It was recorded of her with surprise that, though most respectably dressed, she had nevertheless described herself as being “in distress.” She had expressed the deepest contrition, but had persisted in giving a name which was on the face of it a false one; in telling a commonplace story, which was manifestly an invention; and in refusing to the last to furnish any clew to her friends. A lady connected with a charitable institution (“interested by her extreme elegance and beauty”) had volunteered to take charge of her, and to bring her into a better frame of mind. The first day’s experience of the penitent had been far from cheering, and the second day’s experience had been conclusive. She had left the institution by stealth; and—though the visiting clergyman, taking a special interest in the case, had caused special efforts to be made—all search after her, from that time forth, had proved fruitless.
Who was the woman? The man who saved her life never found out. The magistrate who held her, the chaplain who tried to encourage her, the reporter who published her story, never knew. It was noted with surprise that, although she was dressed very respectably, she still referred to herself as being “in distress.” She showed deep regret but kept insisting on a name that was clearly false; she told a mundane story that was obviously fabricated; and she refused to the very end to give any hint about her friends. A lady from a charity (“interested by her extreme elegance and beauty”) had volunteered to help her and to lift her spirits. The first day’s experience with the penitent was far from encouraging, and the second day’s experience was definitive. She had sneaked out of the institution; and—even though the visiting clergyman, who was particularly concerned about her case, had organized special efforts to find her—all searches for her from that point on had been unsuccessful.
While this useless investigation (undertaken at Allan’s express desire) was in progress, the lawyers had settled the preliminary formalities connected with the succession to the property. All that remained was for the new master of Thorpe Ambrose to decide when he would personally establish himself on the estate of which he was now the legal possessor.
While this pointless investigation (carried out at Allan's direct request) was happening, the lawyers had taken care of the initial formalities related to the inheritance of the property. All that was left was for the new owner of Thorpe Ambrose to choose when he would officially move into the estate that he now legally owned.
Left necessarily to his own guidance in this matter, Allan settled it for himself in his usual hot-headed, generous way. He positively declined to take possession until Mrs. Blanchard and her niece (who had been permitted thus far, as a matter of courtesy, to remain in their old home) had recovered from the calamity that had befallen them, and were fit to decide for themselves what their future proceedings should be. A private correspondence followed this resolution, comprehending, on Allan’s side, unlimited offers of everything he had to give (in a house which he had not yet seen), and, on the ladies’ side, a discreetly reluctant readiness to profit by the young gentleman’s generosity in the matter of time. To the astonishment of his legal advisers, Allan entered their office one morning, accompanied by Mr. Brock, and announced, with perfect composure, that the ladies had been good enough to take his own arrangements off his hands, and that, in deference to their convenience, he meant to defer establishing himself at Thorpe Ambrose till that day two months. The lawyers stared at Allan, and Allan, returning the compliment, stared at the lawyers.
Left to his own devices in this situation, Allan handled it in his typical impulsive, generous manner. He firmly decided not to take possession until Mrs. Blanchard and her niece (who had been allowed to stay in their old home out of courtesy) had recovered from their unfortunate situation and were ready to determine their own future actions. A private exchange followed this decision, with Allan offering anything he could provide (in a house he hadn’t seen yet) and the ladies responding with a cautiously reluctant willingness to accept the young man's generosity regarding the time. To the surprise of his lawyers, Allan walked into their office one morning with Mr. Brock and calmly announced that the ladies had kindly agreed to take care of his arrangements, and out of respect for their convenience, he would postpone moving to Thorpe Ambrose for two months. The lawyers stared at Allan, and Allan, returning the favor, stared back at the lawyers.
“What on earth are you wondering at, gentlemen?” he inquired, with a boyish bewilderment in his good-humored blue eyes. “Why shouldn’t I give the ladies their two months, if the ladies want them? Let the poor things take their own time, and welcome. My rights? and my position? Oh, pooh! pooh! I’m in no hurry to be squire of the parish; it’s not in my way. What do I mean to do for the two months? What I should have done anyhow, whether the ladies had stayed or not; I mean to go cruising at sea. That’s what I like! I’ve got a new yacht at home in Somersetshire—a yacht of my own building. And I’ll tell you what, sir,” continued Allan, seizing the head partner by the arm in the fervor of his friendly intentions, “you look sadly in want of a holiday in the fresh air, and you shall come along with me on the trial trip of my new vessel. And your partners, too, if they like. And the head clerk, who is the best fellow I ever met with in my life. Plenty of room—we’ll all shake down together on the floor, and we’ll give Mr. Brock a rug on the cabin table. Thorpe Ambrose be hanged! Do you mean to say, if you had built a vessel yourself (as I have), you would go to any estate in the three kingdoms, while your own little beauty was sitting like a duck on the water at home, and waiting for you to try her? You legal gentlemen are great hands at argument. What do you think of that argument? I think it’s unanswerable—and I’m off to Somersetshire to-morrow.”
“What on earth are you curious about, gentlemen?” he asked, with a boyish confusion in his cheerful blue eyes. “Why shouldn’t I give the ladies their two months if they want them? Let the poor things take their time, and I’m happy to accommodate. My rights? My position? Oh, come on! I’m not in a rush to be the squire of the parish; it’s not in my plans. What do I plan to do for those two months? What I would’ve done anyway, whether the ladies stayed or not; I plan to go cruising at sea. That’s what I enjoy! I’ve got a new yacht at home in Somersetshire—a yacht I built myself. And let me tell you something, sir,” continued Allan, grabbing the head partner’s arm with enthusiasm, “you look like you really need a vacation in the fresh air, and you should come with me on the trial trip of my new boat. And your partners can join too, if they want. And the head clerk, who is the best guy I’ve ever met. There’s plenty of room—we’ll all settle down together on the floor, and we’ll give Mr. Brock a rug for the cabin table. Thorpe Ambrose can wait! Do you really mean to say that if you built a boat yourself (like I did), you would go anywhere else in the three kingdoms while your own little beauty was sitting like a duck on the water at home, just waiting for you to try her out? You legal folks are great at arguments. What do you think of that one? I think it’s unassailable—and I’m heading to Somersetshire tomorrow.”
With those words, the new possessor of eight thousand a year dashed into the head clerk’s office, and invited that functionary to a cruise on the high seas, with a smack on the shoulder which was heard distinctly by his masters in the next room. The firm looked in interrogative wonder at Mr. Brock. A client who could see a position among the landed gentry of England waiting for him, without being in a hurry to occupy it at the earliest possible opportunity, was a client of whom they possessed no previous experience.
With those words, the new owner of eight thousand a year rushed into the head clerk’s office and invited that worker to join him on a cruise, giving him a friendly slap on the shoulder that could be clearly heard by his bosses in the next room. The firm looked at Mr. Brock in puzzled amazement. A client who could see a chance to join the landed gentry of England and wasn't in a rush to take it was completely new to them.
“He must have been very oddly brought up,” said the lawyers to the rector.
“He must have had a really strange upbringing,” said the lawyers to the rector.
“Very oddly,” said the rector to the lawyers.
“Very oddly,” said the rector to the lawyers.
A last leap over one month more brought Mr. Brock to the present time—to the bedroom at Castletown, in which he was sitting thinking, and to the anxiety which was obstinately intruding itself between him and his night’s rest. That anxiety was no unfamiliar enemy to the rector’s peace of mind. It had first found him out in Somersetshire six months since, and it had now followed him to the Isle of Man under the inveterately obtrusive form of Ozias Midwinter.
A final leap of one more month brought Mr. Brock to the present time—sitting in the bedroom at Castletown, lost in thought, and facing the anxiety that stubbornly interrupted his sleep. This anxiety was not a stranger to the rector's peace of mind. It had first caught up with him in Somersetshire six months ago, and now it had followed him to the Isle of Man in the persistently intrusive form of Ozias Midwinter.
The change in Allan’s future prospects had worked no corresponding alteration in his perverse fancy for the castaway at the village inn. In the midst of the consultations with the lawyers he had found time to visit Midwinter, and on the journey back with the rector there was Allan’s friend in the carriage, returning with them to Somersetshire by Allan’s own invitation.
The shift in Allan’s future opportunities didn’t seem to affect his odd attraction to the outcast at the village inn. Even while meeting with the lawyers, he managed to visit Midwinter, and on the way back with the rector, there was Allan’s friend in the carriage, heading back to Somersetshire by Allan’s own invitation.
The ex-usher’s hair had grown again on his shaven skull, and his dress showed the renovating influence of an accession of pecuniary means, but in all other respects the man was unchanged. He met Mr. Brock’s distrust with the old uncomplaining resignation to it; he maintained the same suspicious silence on the subject of his relatives and his early life; he spoke of Allan’s kindness to him with the same undisciplined fervor of gratitude and surprise. “I have done what I could, sir,” he said to Mr. Brock, while Allan was asleep in the railway carriage. “I have kept out of Mr. Armadale’s way, and I have not even answered his last letter to me. More than that is more than I can do. I don’t ask you to consider my own feeling toward the only human creature who has never suspected and never ill-treated me. I can resist my own feeling, but I can’t resist the young gentleman himself. There’s not another like him in the world. If we are to be parted again, it must be his doing or yours—not mine. The dog’s master has whistled,” said this strange man, with a momentary outburst of the hidden passion in him, and a sudden springing of angry tears in his wild brown eyes, “and it is hard, sir, to blame the dog when the dog comes.”
The ex-usher’s hair had grown back on his shaved head, and his outfit reflected a fresh influence from his newfound financial means, but in every other way, he hadn’t changed at all. He faced Mr. Brock’s distrust with the same old, quiet acceptance; he kept silent when it came to his relatives and his early life; and he spoke about Allan’s kindness toward him with the same unrestrained gratitude and surprise. “I’ve done what I could, sir,” he said to Mr. Brock while Allan was asleep in the train carriage. “I’ve stayed out of Mr. Armadale’s way, and I haven’t even replied to his last letter. More than that is more than I can do. I’m not asking you to think about my feelings for the only person who has never doubted me or treated me badly. I can control my own feelings, but I can’t ignore the young gentleman himself. There’s nobody else like him in the world. If we’re going to be separated again, it has to be because of him or you—not me. The dog’s owner has called,” said this strange man, with a brief burst of the hidden emotion within him and sudden angry tears springing up in his wild brown eyes, “and it’s hard, sir, to blame the dog when the dog responds.”
Once more Mr. Brock’s humanity got the better of Mr. Brock’s caution. He determined to wait, and see what the coming days of social intercourse might bring forth.
Once again, Mr. Brock's compassion outweighed his caution. He decided to wait and see what the next few days of social interaction would bring.
The days passed; the yacht was rigged and fitted for sea; a cruise was arranged to the Welsh coast—and Midwinter the Secret was the same Midwinter still. Confinement on board a little vessel of five-and-thirty tons offered no great attraction to a man of Mr. Brock’s time of life. But he sailed on the trial trip of the yacht nevertheless, rather than trust Allan alone with his new friend.
The days went by; the yacht was set up and ready for the ocean; a trip to the Welsh coast was planned—and Midwinter the Secret was still the same Midwinter. Being stuck on a small boat of thirty-five tons wasn’t exactly appealing for a man like Mr. Brock at his age. Still, he joined the test sail of the yacht rather than leave Allan alone with his new friend.
Would the close companionship of the three on their cruise tempt the man into talking of his own affairs? No; he was ready enough on other subjects, especially if Allan led the way to them. But not a word escaped him about himself. Mr. Brock tried him with questions about his recent inheritance, and was answered as he had been answered once already at the Somersetshire inn. It was a curious coincidence, Midwinter admitted, that Mr. Armadale’s prospects and his own prospects should both have unexpectedly changed for the better about the same time. But there the resemblance ended. It was no large fortune that had fallen into his lap, though it was enough for his wants. It had not reconciled him with his relations, for the money had not come to him as a matter of kindness, but as a matter of right. As for the circumstance which had led to his communicating with his family, it was not worth mentioning, seeing that the temporary renewal of intercourse which had followed had produced no friendly results. Nothing had come of it but the money—and, with the money, an anxiety which troubled him sometimes, when he woke in the small hours of the morning.
Would the close friendship of the three on their cruise make the man talk about his own life? No; he was more than willing to discuss other topics, especially if Allan brought them up. But he didn’t say a word about himself. Mr. Brock tried asking him about his recent inheritance, and got the same response he had received once before at the Somersetshire inn. It was a strange coincidence, Midwinter acknowledged, that both Mr. Armadale’s situation and his own had unexpectedly improved around the same time. But that was where the similarity ended. He hadn’t received a large fortune, though it was enough to meet his needs. It hadn’t repaired his relationship with his family, since the money hadn’t come to him through generosity, but as a right. As for the reason that had led him to reach out to his family, it wasn’t worth mentioning, given that the brief renewal of contact that followed brought no friendly outcomes. Nothing resulted from it but the money—and, with the money, a worry that sometimes troubled him when he woke up in the early hours of the morning.
At those last words he became suddenly silent, as if for once his well-guarded tongue had betrayed him.
At those last words, he suddenly fell silent, as if for once his carefully guarded tongue had let him down.
Mr. Brock seized the opportunity, and bluntly asked him what the nature of the anxiety might be. Did it relate to money? No; it related to a Letter which had been waiting for him for many years. Had he received the letter? Not yet; it had been left under charge of one of the partners in the firm which had managed the business of his inheritance for him; the partner had been absent from England; and the letter, locked up among his own private papers, could not be got at till he returned. He was expected back toward the latter part of that present May, and, if Midwinter could be sure where the cruise would take them to at the close of the month, he thought he would write and have the letter forwarded. Had he any family reasons to be anxious about it? None that he knew of; he was curious to see what had been waiting for him for many years, and that was all. So he answered the rector’s questions, with his tawny face turned away over the low bulwark of the yacht, and his fishing-line dragging in his supple brown hands.
Mr. Brock took the chance and asked him directly what was making him anxious. Did it have to do with money? No; it was about a letter he had been waiting for many years. Had he received it yet? Not yet; it was being held by one of the partners at the firm that managed his inheritance; that partner had been out of the country, and the letter was locked up with his private papers and couldn’t be accessed until he got back. He was expected to return by the end of this May, and if Midwinter could figure out where their trip would take them at the end of the month, he thought he would write and have the letter sent over. Did he have any family reasons to worry about it? None that he knew of; he was just curious to see what had been waiting for him for so many years, and that was it. So he answered the rector’s questions, with his tanned face turned away over the low edge of the yacht, and his fishing line hanging in his agile brown hands.
Favored by wind and weather, the little vessel had done wonders on her trial trip. Before the period fixed for the duration of the cruise had half expired, the yacht was as high up on the Welsh coast as Holyhead; and Allan, eager for adventure in unknown regions, had declared boldly for an extension of the voyage northward to the Isle of Man. Having ascertained from reliable authority that the weather really promised well for a cruise in that quarter, and that, in the event of any unforeseen necessity for return, the railway was accessible by the steamer from Douglas to Liverpool, Mr. Brock agreed to his pupil’s proposal. By that night’s post he wrote to Allan’s lawyers and to his own rectory, indicating Douglas in the Isle of Man as the next address to which letters might be forwarded. At the post-office he met Midwinter, who had just dropped a letter into the box. Remembering what he had said on board the yacht, Mr. Brock concluded that they had both taken the same precaution, and had ordered their correspondence to be forwarded to the same place.
Favored by the wind and weather, the little boat had performed amazingly on her trial trip. Before the planned duration of the cruise was even halfway through, the yacht had reached as far up the Welsh coast as Holyhead; and Allan, excited for adventure in uncharted areas, boldly suggested extending the voyage north to the Isle of Man. After confirming with a reliable source that the weather was looking good for a trip in that direction, and knowing that if they needed to return unexpectedly, the railway was accessible by steamer from Douglas to Liverpool, Mr. Brock agreed to his pupil's suggestion. That evening he wrote to Allan's lawyers and to his own rectory, indicating Douglas in the Isle of Man as the next address for forwarding letters. At the post office, he ran into Midwinter, who had just dropped a letter into the box. Remembering what they had talked about on board the yacht, Mr. Brock figured they had both taken the same precaution and had arranged for their correspondence to be sent to the same place.
Late the next day they set sail for the Isle of Man.
Late the next day, they set off for the Isle of Man.
For a few hours all went well; but sunset brought with it the signs of a coming change. With the darkness the wind rose to a gale, and the question whether Allan and his journeymen had or had not built a stout sea-boat was seriously tested for the first time. All that night, after trying vainly to bear up for Holyhead, the little vessel kept the sea, and stood her trial bravely. The next morning the Isle of Man was in view, and the yacht was safe at Castletown. A survey by daylight of hull and rigging showed that all the damage done might be set right again in a week’s time. The cruising party had accordingly remained at Castletown, Allan being occupied in superintending the repairs, Mr. Brock in exploring the neighborhood, and Midwinter in making daily pilgrimages on foot to Douglas and back to inquire for letters.
For a few hours, everything went smoothly; but sunset brought signs of a change. As darkness fell, the wind picked up to a gale, and for the first time, the question of whether Allan and his crew had built a sturdy sea-boat was put to the test. All night, despite their attempts to steer toward Holyhead, the little vessel weathered the storm and proved her mettle. The next morning, the Isle of Man came into view, and the yacht was safely docked at Castletown. A daytime inspection of the hull and rigging revealed that all the damage could be fixed in about a week. The cruising party decided to stay at Castletown, with Allan overseeing the repairs, Mr. Brock exploring the local area, and Midwinter making daily walks to Douglas and back to check for letters.
The first of the cruising party who received a letter was Allan. “More worries from those everlasting lawyers,” was all he said, when he had read the letter, and had crumpled it up in his pocket. The rector’s turn came next, before the week’s sojourn at Castletown had expired. On the fifth day he found a letter from Somersetshire waiting for him at the hotel. It had been brought there by Midwinter, and it contained news which entirely overthrew all Mr. Brock’s holiday plans. The clergyman who had undertaken to do duty for him in his absence had been unexpectedly summoned home again; and Mr. Brock had no choice (the day of the week being Friday) but to cross the next morning from Douglass to Liverpool, and get back by railway on Saturday night in time for Sunday’s service.
The first person from the cruising party to get a letter was Allan. “More worries from those never-ending lawyers,” he said after reading it and crumpling it up to put in his pocket. Next, it was the rector's turn before their week at Castletown was up. On the fifth day, he found a letter from Somersetshire waiting for him at the hotel. Midwinter had brought it, and it contained news that completely disrupted all of Mr. Brock’s holiday plans. The clergyman who was supposed to cover for him while he was away had unexpectedly been called back home, so Mr. Brock had no choice (since it was Friday) but to take the ferry from Douglass to Liverpool the next morning and return by train on Saturday night in time for Sunday’s service.
Having read his letter, and resigned himself to his altered circumstances as patiently as he might, the rector passed next to a question that pressed for serious consideration in its turn. Burdened with his heavy responsibility toward Allan, and conscious of his own undiminished distrust of Allan’s new friend, how was he to act, in the emergency that now beset him, toward the two young men who had been his companions on the cruise?
Having read his letter and come to terms with his changed situation as best as he could, the rector moved on to a question that needed serious thought. Weighed down by his significant responsibility to Allan and aware of his lingering distrust of Allan’s new friend, how was he supposed to handle the situation he was now facing with the two young men who had been his companions on the cruise?
Mr. Brock had first asked himself that awkward question on the Friday afternoon, and he was still trying vainly to answer it, alone in his own room, at one o’clock on the Saturday morning. It was then only the end of May, and the residence of the ladies at Thorpe Ambrose (unless they chose to shorten it of their own accord) would not expire till the middle of June. Even if the repairs of the yacht had been completed (which was not the case), there was no possible pretense for hurrying Allan back to Somersetshire. But one other alternative remained—to leave him where he was. In other words, to leave him, at the turning-point of his life, under the sole influence of a man whom he had first met with as a castaway at a village inn, and who was still, to all practical purposes, a total stranger to him.
Mr. Brock had first asked himself that uncomfortable question on Friday afternoon, and he was still trying unsuccessfully to answer it, alone in his room, at one o’clock on Saturday morning. It was still only the end of May, and the ladies' stay at Thorpe Ambrose (unless they chose to leave early) wouldn’t end until mid-June. Even if the repairs on the yacht had been finished (which they weren’t), there was no valid reason to rush Allan back to Somersetshire. But one other option remained—to leave him where he was. In other words, to leave him, at a crucial moment in his life, under the only influence of a man whom he had first met as a down-and-out at a village inn, and who was still, for all practical purposes, a complete stranger to him.
In despair of obtaining any better means of enlightenment to guide his decision, Mr. Brock reverted to the impression which Midwinter had produced on his own mind in the familiarity of the cruise.
In his frustration at finding better guidance for his decision, Mr. Brock went back to the impression Midwinter had left on him during their time together on the cruise.
Young as he was, the ex-usher had evidently lived a varied life. He could speak of books like a man who had really enjoyed them; he could take his turn at the helm like a sailor who knew his duty; he could cook, and climb the rigging, and lay the cloth for dinner, with an odd delight in the exhibition of his own dexterity. The display of these, and other qualities like them, as his spirits rose with the cruise, had revealed the secret of his attraction for Allan plainly enough. But had all disclosures rested there? Had the man let no chance light in on his character in the rector’s presence? Very little; and that little did not set him forth in a morally alluring aspect. His way in the world had lain evidently in doubtful places; familiarity with the small villainies of vagabonds peeped out of him now and then; and, more significant still, he habitually slept the light, suspicious sleep of a man who has been accustomed to close his eyes in doubt of the company under the same roof with him. Down to the very latest moment of the rector’s experience of him—down to that present Friday night—his conduct had been persistently secret and unaccountable to the very last. After bringing Mr. Brock’s letter to the hotel, he had mysterious disappeared from the house without leaving any message for his companions, and without letting anybody see whether he had or had not received a letter himself. At nightfall he had come back stealthily in the darkness, had been caught on the stairs by Allan, eager to tell him of the change in the rector’s plans, had listened to the news without a word of remark! and had ended by sulkily locking himself into his own room. What was there in his favor to set against such revelations of his character as these—against his wandering eyes, his obstinate reserve with the rector, his ominous silence on the subject of family and friends? Little or nothing: the sum of all his merits began and ended with his gratitude to Allan.
Young as he was, the former usher had clearly lived a diverse life. He could talk about books like someone who had truly enjoyed them; he could steer a boat like a sailor who understood his responsibilities; he could cook, climb the rigging, and set the dining table, showing an unusual pleasure in displaying his own skills. These and other similar talents, as his spirits lifted during the trip, made it clear why Allan found him appealing. But was that all there was to uncover? Had the man revealed anything about himself in front of the rector? Very little; and what little there was didn't paint him in a morally appealing light. His life experiences evidently involved questionable places; traces of minor shady behavior from drifters occasionally surfaced in him; and even more telling, he usually slept lightly and suspiciously, like someone who had learned to close his eyes uncertain of who else was in the house with him. Right up until the last moment of the rector’s dealings with him—right to that Friday night—he had consistently acted in a secretive and puzzling way. After delivering Mr. Brock’s letter to the hotel, he had mysteriously vanished from the house without leaving any message for his companions, and without anyone knowing if he had received a letter himself. When night fell, he had returned quietly in the dark, been caught on the stairs by Allan, who was eager to share the change in the rector’s plans, listened to the news without offering any comments, and ended by moodily locking himself in his own room. What could counterbalance such insights into his character—his wandering gaze, his stubborn silence around the rector, his gloomy reticence regarding family and friends? Little or nothing: his entire worth seemed to hinge on his gratitude toward Allan.
Mr. Brock left his seat on the side of the bed, trimmed his candle, and, still lost in his own thoughts, looked out absently at the night. The change of place brought no new ideas with it. His retrospect over his own past life had amply satisfied him that his present sense of responsibility rested on no merely fanciful grounds, and, having brought him to that point, had left him there, standing at the window, and seeing nothing but the total darkness in his own mind faithfully reflected by the total darkness of the night.
Mr. Brock got up from his spot on the side of the bed, trimmed his candle, and, still deep in thought, gazed out blankly at the night. Changing his position didn’t bring any new ideas. Reflecting on his past life had fully convinced him that his current sense of responsibility wasn’t based on mere fancy, and having reached this conclusion, he found himself standing at the window, seeing nothing but the dark emptiness in his own mind mirrored by the pitch-black night.
“If I only had a friend to apply to!” thought the rector. “If I could only find some one to help me in this miserable place!”
“If only I had a friend to turn to!” thought the rector. “If I could just find someone to help me in this miserable place!”
At the moment when the aspiration crossed his mind, it was suddenly answered by a low knock at the door, and a voice said softly in the passage outside, “Let me come in.”
At the moment he thought about his desire, a quiet knock came at the door, and a voice said softly from the hallway outside, “Let me in.”
After an instant’s pause to steady his nerves, Mr. Brock opened the door, and found himself, at one o’clock in the morning, standing face to face on the threshold of his own bedroom with Ozias Midwinter.
After a quick moment to gather his thoughts, Mr. Brock opened the door and found himself, at one in the morning, standing right in front of his own bedroom with Ozias Midwinter.
“Are you ill?” asked the rector, as soon as his astonishment would allow him to speak.
“Are you sick?” asked the rector, as soon as his surprise allowed him to speak.
“I have come here to make a clean breast of it!” was the strange answer. “Will you let me in?”
“I’ve come here to confess everything!” was the odd response. “Will you let me in?”
With those words he walked into the room, his eyes on the ground, his lips ashy pale, and his hand holding something hidden behind him.
With those words, he walked into the room, his eyes focused on the ground, his lips a ashy pale, and his hand hiding something behind him.
“I saw the light under your door,” he went on, without looking up, and without moving his hand, “and I know the trouble on your mind which is keeping you from your rest. You are going away to-morrow morning, and you don’t like leaving Mr. Armadale alone with a stranger like me.”
“I saw the light under your door,” he continued, not looking up and without moving his hand, “and I know what's bothering you that's keeping you from getting any rest. You’re leaving tomorrow morning, and you’re uncomfortable leaving Mr. Armadale alone with someone like me.”
Startled as he was, Mr. Brock saw the serious necessity of being plain with a man who had come at that time, and had said those words to him.
Startled as he was, Mr. Brock recognized the important need to be straightforward with a man who had shown up at that moment and had said those words to him.
“You have guessed right,” he answered. “I stand in the place of a father to Allan Armadale, and I am naturally unwilling to leave him, at his age, with a man whom I don’t know.”
“You’ve guessed correctly,” he replied. “I take on the role of a father to Allan Armadale, and I’m obviously hesitant to leave him, at his age, with someone I don’t know.”
Ozias Midwinter took a step forward to the table. His wandering eyes rested on the rector’s New Testament, which was one of the objects lying on it.
Ozias Midwinter stepped closer to the table. His wandering eyes landed on the rector’s New Testament, one of the items on it.
“You have read that Book, in the years of a long life, to many congregations,” he said. “Has it taught you mercy to your miserable fellow-creatures?”
“You’ve read that book, in the years of a long life, to many congregations,” he said. “Has it taught you to be merciful to your suffering fellow humans?”
Without waiting to be answered, he looked Mr. Brock in the face for the first time, and brought his hidden hand slowly into view.
Without waiting for a response, he looked Mr. Brock in the face for the first time and slowly revealed his hidden hand.
“Read that,” he said; “and, for Christ’s sake, pity me when you know who I am.”
“Read that,” he said; “and, for God’s sake, feel sorry for me when you know who I am.”
He laid a letter of many pages on the table. It was the letter that Mr. Neal had posted at Wildbad nineteen years since.
He placed a letter with many pages on the table. It was the letter that Mr. Neal had mailed from Wildbad nineteen years ago.
II. THE MAN REVEALED.
THE first cool breathings of the coming dawn fluttered through the open window as Mr. Brock read the closing lines of the Confession. He put it from him in silence, without looking up. The first shock of discovery had struck his mind, and had passed away again. At his age, and with his habits of thought, his grasp was not strong enough to hold the whole revelation that had fallen on him. All his heart, when he closed the manuscript, was with the memory of the woman who had been the beloved friend of his later and happier life; all his thoughts were busy with the miserable secret of her treason to her own father which the letter had disclosed.
The first cool breeze of dawn flowed through the open window as Mr. Brock finished reading the last lines of the Confession. He set it aside in silence, without looking up. The initial shock of realization hit him and then faded away. At his age and with his way of thinking, he couldn’t fully grasp the entire truth that had just been revealed to him. All his feelings, when he closed the manuscript, were tied to the memory of the woman who had been the cherished friend of his later and happier life; all his thoughts were consumed by the painful secret of her betrayal of her own father that the letter had exposed.
He was startled out of the narrow limits of his own little grief by the vibration of the table at which he sat, under a hand that was laid on it heavily. The instinct of reluctance was strong in him; but he conquered it, and looked up. There, silently confronting him in the mixed light of the yellow candle flame and the faint gray dawn, stood the castaway of the village inn—the inheritor of the fatal Armadale name.
He was jolted out of his own little sadness by the vibration of the table he was sitting at, caused by a heavy hand resting on it. He felt a strong instinct to avoid the situation, but he overcame it and looked up. There, silently facing him in the dim light of the yellow candle and the faint gray dawn, stood the outcast from the village inn—the bearer of the doomed Armadale name.
Mr. Brock shuddered as the terror of the present time and the darker terror yet of the future that might be coming rushed back on him at the sight of the man’s face. The man saw it, and spoke first.
Mr. Brock shuddered as the fear of the present moment and the deeper fear of the uncertain future overwhelmed him at the sight of the man's face. The man noticed it and spoke first.
“Is my father’s crime looking at you out of my eyes?” he asked. “Has the ghost of the drowned man followed me into the room?”
“Is my dad’s crime looking at you through my eyes?” he asked. “Has the ghost of the drowned man followed me into the room?”
The suffering and the passion that he was forcing back shook the hand that he still kept on the table, and stifled the voice in which he spoke until it sank to a whisper.
The pain and the emotions he was holding back shook the hand he still had on the table and silenced the voice he used until it faded to a whisper.
“I have no wish to treat you otherwise than justly and kindly,” answered Mr. Brock. “Do me justice on my side, and believe that I am incapable of cruelly holding you responsible for your father’s crime.”
“I don’t want to treat you any other way than fairly and kindly,” Mr. Brock replied. “Do me the same favor and believe that I would never cruelly blame you for your father’s crime.”
The reply seemed to compose him. He bowed his head in silence, and took up the confession from the table.
The reply seemed to calm him. He lowered his head in silence and picked up the confession from the table.
“Have you read this through?” he asked, quietly.
“Have you read this?” he asked softly.
“Every word of it, from first to last.”
“Every word of it, from beginning to end.”
“Have I dealt openly with you so far. Has Ozias Midwinter—”
“Have I been honest with you so far? Has Ozias Midwinter—”
“Do you still call yourself by that name,” interrupted Mr. Brock, “now your true name is known to me?”
“Do you still go by that name,” interrupted Mr. Brock, “now that I know your real name?”
“Since I have read my father’s confession,” was the answer, “I like my ugly alias better than ever. Allow me to repeat the question which I was about to put to you a minute since: Has Ozias Midwinter done his best thus far to enlighten Mr. Brock?”
“Since I read my dad’s confession,” was the response, “I like my ugly nickname more than ever. Let me ask you the question I was about to ask a minute ago: Has Ozias Midwinter done everything he can to help Mr. Brock understand?”
The rector evaded a direct reply. “Few men in your position,” he said, “would have had the courage to show me that letter.”
The rector dodged a straight answer. “Not many men in your position,” he said, “would have had the guts to show me that letter.”
“Don’t be too sure, sir, of the vagabond you picked up at the inn till you know a little more of him than you know now. You have got the secret of my birth, but you are not in possession yet of the story of my life. You ought to know it, and you shall know it, before you leave me alone with Mr. Armadale. Will you wait, and rest a little while, or shall I tell it you now?”
“Don’t be too sure, sir, about the drifter you brought in from the inn until you know more about him than you do now. You have the secret of my birth, but you don’t yet know the story of my life. You should know it, and you will know it, before you leave me alone with Mr. Armadale. Would you like to wait and take a moment to rest, or should I tell you now?”
“Now,” said Mr. Brock, still as far away as ever from knowing the real character of the man before him.
“Now,” said Mr. Brock, still as distant as ever from understanding the true character of the man in front of him.
Everything Ozias Midwinter said, everything Ozias Midwinter did, was against him. He had spoken with a sardonic indifference, almost with an insolence of tone, which would have repelled the sympathies of any man who heard him. And now, instead of placing himself at the table, and addressing his story directly to the rector, he withdrew silently and ungraciously to the window-seat. There he sat, his face averted, his hands mechanically turning the leaves of his father’s letter till he came to the last. With his eyes fixed on the closing lines of the manuscript, and with a strange mixture of recklessness and sadness in his voice, he began his promised narrative in these words:
Everything Ozias Midwinter said and did worked against him. He had spoken with a sarcastic indifference, almost with an insulting tone, that would have pushed away the sympathy of anyone who heard him. And now, instead of sitting at the table and telling his story directly to the rector, he silently and rudely moved to the window seat. There he sat, his face turned away, his hands mindlessly flipping through the pages of his father's letter until he reached the last one. With his eyes fixed on the closing lines of the manuscript, and with a strange mix of defiance and sadness in his voice, he began his promised story with these words:
“The first thing you know of me,” he said, “is what my father’s confession has told you already. He mentions here that I was a child, asleep on his breast, when he spoke his last words in this world, and when a stranger’s hand wrote them down for him at his deathbed. That stranger’s name, as you may have noticed, is signed on the cover—‘Alexander Neal, Writer to the Signet, Edinburgh.’ The first recollection I have is of Alexander Neal beating me with a horsewhip (I dare say I deserved it), in the character of my stepfather.”
“The first thing you know about me,” he said, “is what my father’s confession has already revealed. He mentions that I was a child, asleep on his chest, when he uttered his last words in this world, and when a stranger wrote them down for him at his deathbed. That stranger’s name, as you might have seen, is signed on the cover—‘Alexander Neal, Writer to the Signet, Edinburgh.’ My earliest memory is of Alexander Neal hitting me with a horsewhip (I’ll admit I probably deserved it) in the role of my stepfather.”
“Have you no recollection of your mother at the same time?” asked Mr. Brock.
“Don’t you remember your mother from that time?” asked Mr. Brock.
“Yes; I remember her having shabby old clothes made up to fit me, and having fine new frocks bought for her two children by her second husband. I remember the servants laughing at me in my old things, and the horsewhip finding its way to my shoulders again for losing my temper and tearing my shabby clothes. My next recollection gets on to a year or two later. I remember myself locked up in a lumber-room, with a bit of bread and a mug of water, wondering what it was that made my mother and my stepfather seem to hate the very sight of me. I never settled that question till yesterday, and then I solved the mystery, when my father’s letter was put into my hands. My mother knew what had really happened on board the French timber-ship, and my stepfather knew what had really happened, and they were both well aware that the shameful secret which they would fain have kept from every living creature was a secret which would be one day revealed to me. There was no help for it—the confession was in the executor’s hands, and there was I, an ill-conditioned brat, with my mother’s negro blood in my face, and my murdering father’s passions in my heart, inheritor of their secret in spite of them! I don’t wonder at the horsewhip now, or the shabby old clothes, or the bread and water in the lumber-room. Natural penalties all of them, sir, which the child was beginning to pay already for the father’s sin.”
“Yes; I remember her having worn-out old clothes made to fit me, while her second husband bought nice new dresses for her two children. I remember the servants laughing at me in my old clothes, and getting whipped again for losing my temper and ripping my shabby attire. My next memory jumps to a year or two later. I recall being locked in a storage room, with a piece of bread and a cup of water, wondering why my mother and stepfather seemed to hate the sight of me. I never figured that out until yesterday, when I finally solved the mystery after reading my father's letter. My mother knew what really happened on that French timber ship, and my stepfather did too. They both knew that the shameful secret they desperately wanted to keep hidden from everyone would eventually be revealed to me. There was no escaping it—the confession was in the executor’s hands, and there I was, a problematic kid, with my mother’s heritage marked on my face and my father’s violent tendencies in my heart, inheritor of their secret despite their efforts! I don’t blame the whipping now, or the ragged old clothes, or the bread and water in the storage room. They were all natural consequences, sir, which the child was starting to pay for the father’s sin.”
Mr. Brock looked at the swarthy, secret face, still obstinately turned away from him. “Is this the stark insensibility of a vagabond,” he asked himself, “or the despair, in disguise, of a miserable man?”
Mr. Brock looked at the dark, mysterious face, still stubbornly turned away from him. “Is this the cold indifference of a drifter,” he thought, “or the despair, hidden behind a mask, of a wretched man?”
“School is my next recollection,” the other went on—“a cheap place in a lost corner of Scotland. I was left there, with a bad character to help me at starting. I spare you the story of the master’s cane in the schoolroom, and the boys’ kicks in the playground. I dare say there was ingrained ingratitude in my nature; at any rate, I ran away. The first person who met me asked my name. I was too young and too foolish to know the importance of concealing it, and, as a matter of course, I was taken back to school the same evening. The result taught me a lesson which I have not forgotten since. In a day or two more, like the vagabond I was, I ran away for the second time. The school watch-dog had had his instructions, I suppose: he stopped me before I got outside the gate. Here is his mark, among the rest, on the back of my hand. His master’s marks I can’t show you; they are all on my back. Can you believe in my perversity? There was a devil in me that no dog could worry out. I ran away again as soon as I left my bed, and this time I got off. At nightfall I found myself (with a pocketful of the school oatmeal) lost on a moor. I lay down on the fine soft heather, under the lee of a great gray rock. Do you think I felt lonely? Not I! I was away from the master’s cane, away from my schoolfellows’ kicks, away from my mother, away from my stepfather; and I lay down that night under my good friend the rock, the happiest boy in all Scotland!”
“School is my next memory,” the other continued—“a rundown place in a forgotten part of Scotland. I was left there, with a bad reputation to start with. I won’t bore you with the story of the teacher’s cane in the classroom and the boys’ kicks in the playground. I suppose I had a deep-seated ingratitude in me; anyway, I ran away. The first person I encountered asked my name. I was too young and too naive to know the importance of hiding it, so naturally, I was taken back to school that same evening. That experience taught me a lesson I’ve never forgotten. In a couple of days, like the runaway I was, I tried again. The school’s watch-dog had probably been instructed: he stopped me before I could get out the gate. Here’s his mark, among others, on the back of my hand. I can’t show you my teacher’s marks; they’re all on my back. Can you believe my stubbornness? There was a rebellious spirit in me that no dog could scare away. I ran away again as soon as I got out of bed, and this time I succeeded. By nightfall, I found myself (with a pocketful of school oatmeal) lost on a moor. I lay down on the soft heather, sheltered by a big gray rock. Do you think I felt lonely? Not at all! I was away from the teacher’s cane, away from the kicks of my classmates, away from my mom, away from my stepdad; and that night I lay down under my good friend the rock, the happiest boy in all of Scotland!”
Through the wretched childhood which that one significant circumstance disclosed, Mr. Brock began to see dimly how little was really strange, how little really unaccountable, in the character of the man who was now speaking to him.
Through the miserable childhood that one important circumstance revealed, Mr. Brock started to vaguely understand how little was truly strange, how little was actually inexplicable, in the character of the man who was now talking to him.
“I slept soundly,” Midwinter continued, “under my friend the rock. When I woke in the morning, I found a sturdy old man with a fiddle sitting on one side of me, and two performing dogs on the other. Experience had made me too sharp to tell the truth when the man put his first questions. He didn’t press them; he gave me a good breakfast out of his knapsack, and he let me romp with the dogs. ‘I’ll tell you what,’ he said, when he had got my confidence in this manner, ‘you want three things, my man: you want a new father, a new family, and a new name. I’ll be your father. I’ll let you have the dogs for your brothers; and, if you’ll promise to be very careful of it, I’ll give you my own name into the bargain. Ozias Midwinter, Junior, you have had a good breakfast; if you want a good dinner, come along with me!’ He got up, the dogs trotted after him, and I trotted after the dogs. Who was my new father? you will ask. A half-breed gypsy, sir; a drunkard, a ruffian, and a thief—and the best friend I ever had! Isn’t a man your friend who gives you your food, your shelter, and your education? Ozias Midwinter taught me to dance the Highland fling, to throw somersaults, to walk on stilts, and to sing songs to his fiddle. Sometimes we roamed the country, and performed at fairs. Sometimes we tried the large towns, and enlivened bad company over its cups. I was a nice, lively little boy of eleven years old, and bad company, the women especially, took a fancy to me and my nimble feet. I was vagabond enough to like the life. The dogs and I lived together, ate, and drank, and slept together. I can’t think of those poor little four-footed brothers of mine, even now, without a choking in the throat. Many is the beating we three took together; many is the hard day’s dancing we did together; many is the night we have slept together, and whimpered together, on the cold hill-side. I’m not trying to distress you, sir; I’m only telling you the truth. The life with all its hardships was a life that fitted me, and the half-breed gypsy who gave me his name, ruffian as he was, was a ruffian I liked.”
“I slept really well,” Midwinter continued, “under my friend the rock. When I woke up in the morning, I found a sturdy old man with a fiddle sitting next to me, and two performing dogs on the other side. Experience had made me too wise to tell the truth when the man asked his first questions. He didn’t push me; he gave me a good breakfast from his knapsack and let me play with the dogs. ‘I’ll tell you what,’ he said, once he had won my trust, ‘you need three things, my man: a new father, a new family, and a new name. I’ll be your father. You can have the dogs as your brothers; and if you promise to take good care of it, I’ll give you my name as well. Ozias Midwinter, Junior, you’ve had a good breakfast; if you want a good dinner, come with me!’ He got up, the dogs trotted after him, and I followed the dogs. Who was my new father, you ask? A half-breed gypsy, sir; a drunkard, a rogue, and a thief—but the best friend I ever had! Isn’t a man your friend who provides your food, shelter, and education? Ozias Midwinter taught me to dance the Highland fling, to do somersaults, to walk on stilts, and to sing songs to his fiddle. Sometimes we traveled around the country and performed at fairs. Other times we tried out the big towns, bringing some fun to their bad company over drinks. I was a lively little boy of eleven, and bad company, especially the women, took a liking to me and my quick feet. I was carefree enough to enjoy the life. The dogs and I lived together, ate, drank, and slept together. I still can’t think about my poor little four-legged brothers without feeling choked up. We took many beatings together; danced through lots of tough days; shared countless cold nights, whining together on the hillside. I’m not trying to upset you, sir; I’m just telling you the truth. The life, with all its challenges, suited me, and the half-breed gypsy who gave me his name, despite being a rogue, was a rogue I liked.”
“A man who beat you!” exclaimed Mr. Brock, in astonishment.
“A man who hit you!” exclaimed Mr. Brock, in disbelief.
“Didn’t I tell you just now, sir, that I lived with the dogs? and did you ever hear of a dog who liked his master the worse for beating him? Hundreds of thousands of miserable men, women, and children would have liked that man (as I liked him) if he had always given them what he always gave me—plenty to eat. It was stolen food mostly, and my new gypsy father was generous with it. He seldom laid the stick on us when he was sober; but it diverted him to hear us yelp when he was drunk. He died drunk, and enjoyed his favorite amusement with his last breath. One day (when I had been two years in his service), after giving us a good dinner out on the moor, he sat down with his back against a stone, and called us up to divert himself with his stick. He made the dogs yelp first, and then he called to me. I didn’t go very willingly; he had been drinking harder than usual, and the more he drank the better he liked his after-dinner amusement. He was in high good-humor that day, and he hit me so hard that he toppled over, in his drunken state, with the force of his own blow. He fell with his face in a puddle, and lay there without moving. I and the dogs stood at a distance, and looked at him: we thought he was feigning, to get us near and have another stroke at us. He feigned so long that we ventured up to him at last. It took me some time to pull him over; he was a heavy man. When I did get him on his back, he was dead. We made all the outcry we could; but the dogs were little, and I was little, and the place was lonely; and no help came to us. I took his fiddle and his stick; I said to my two brothers, ‘Come along, we must get our own living now;’ and we went away heavy-hearted, and left him on the moor. Unnatural as it may seem to you, I was sorry for him. I kept his ugly name through all my after-wanderings, and I have enough of the old leaven left in me to like the sound of it still. Midwinter or Armadale, never mind my name now, we will talk of that afterward; you must know the worst of me first.”
“Didn’t I just tell you, sir, that I lived with the dogs? And have you ever heard of a dog who loved his owner less for beating him? Hundreds of thousands of miserable men, women, and children would have appreciated that man (as I did) if he had always given them what he always gave me—plenty to eat. It was mostly stolen food, and my new gypsy father was generous with it. He rarely hit us when he was sober, but it amused him to hear us yelp when he was drunk. He died drunk, enjoying his favorite pastime until his last breath. One day (after I had been working for him for two years), he treated us to a nice dinner out on the moor, then sat down with his back against a stone and called us over to entertain himself with his stick. He made the dogs yelp first, then he called for me. I didn’t want to go; he had been drinking more than usual, and the more he drank, the more he enjoyed his post-dinner entertainment. He was in a really good mood that day, and he hit me so hard that he lost his balance and fell over, drunk from his own blow. He landed face-first in a puddle and lay there motionless. The dogs and I stayed at a distance, watching him; we thought he was pretending to get us close so he could hit us again. He played dead for so long that we finally decided to approach him. It took me a bit to roll him over; he was a heavy guy. When I did manage to turn him onto his back, he was dead. We made as much noise as we could, but the dogs were small, I was small, and the place was deserted; no help came. I took his fiddle and his stick, turned to my two brothers, and said, ‘Come on, we need to fend for ourselves now;’ and we left, feeling heavy-hearted, abandoning him on the moor. As unnatural as it may sound to you, I felt sorry for him. I kept his ugly name throughout all my future travels, and I still have enough of the old feelings left in me to appreciate the sound of it. Midwinter or Armadale, don’t worry about my name for now; we’ll discuss that later; you need to know the worst about me first.”
“Why not the best of you?” said Mr. Brock, gently.
“Why not the best of you?” asked Mr. Brock softly.
“Thank you, sir; but I am here to tell the truth. We will get on, if you please, to the next chapter in my story. The dogs and I did badly, after our master’s death; our luck was against us. I lost one of my little brothers—the best performer of the two; he was stolen, and I never recovered him. My fiddle and my stilts were taken from me next, by main force, by a tramp who was stronger than I. These misfortunes drew Tommy and me—I beg your pardon, sir, I mean the dog—closer together than ever.
“Thank you, sir; but I’m here to tell the truth. Let’s move on, if you please, to the next chapter in my story. The dogs and I had a hard time after our master died; luck wasn’t on our side. I lost one of my little brothers—the best performer of the two; he was stolen, and I never got him back. Then a stronger tramp took my fiddle and my stilts from me by force. These misfortunes brought Tommy and me—I mean the dog—closer together than ever.”
“I think we had some kind of dim foreboding on both sides that we had not done with our misfortunes yet; anyhow, it was not very long before we were parted forever. We were neither of us thieves (our master had been satisfied with teaching us to dance); but we both committed an invasion of the rights of property, for all that. Young creatures, even when they are half starved, cannot resist taking a run sometimes on a fine morning. Tommy and I could not resist taking a run into a gentleman’s plantation; the gentleman preserved his game; and the gentleman’s keeper knew his business. I heard a gun go off; you can guess the rest. God preserve me from ever feeling such misery again as I felt when I lay down by Tommy, and took him, dead and bloody, in my arms! The keeper attempted to part us; I bit him, like the wild animal I was. He tried the stick on me next; he might as well have tried it on one of the trees. The noise reached the ears of two young ladies riding near the place—daughters of the gentleman on whose property I was a trespasser. They were too well brought up to lift their voices against the sacred right of preserving game, but they were kind-hearted girls, and they pitied me, and took me home with them. I remember the gentlemen of the house (keen sportsmen all of them) roaring with laughter as I went by the windows, crying, with my little dead dog in my arms. Don’t suppose I complain of their laughter; it did me good service; it roused the indignation of the two ladies. One of them took me into her own garden, and showed me a place where I might bury my dog under the flowers, and be sure that no other hands should ever disturb him again. The other went to her father, and persuaded him to give the forlorn little vagabond a chance in the house, under one of the upper servants. Yes! you have been cruising in company with a man who was once a foot-boy. I saw you look at me, when I amused Mr. Armadale by laying the cloth on board the yacht. Now you know why I laid it so neatly, and forgot nothing. It has been my good fortune to see something of society; I have helped to fill its stomach and black its boots. My experience of the servants’ hall was not a long one. Before I had worn out my first suit of livery, there was a scandal in the house. It was the old story; there is no need to tell it over again for the thousandth time. Loose money left on a table, and not found there again; all the servants with characters to appeal to except the foot-boy, who had been rashly taken on trial. Well! well! I was lucky in that house to the last; I was not prosecuted for taking what I had not only never touched, but never even seen: I was only turned out. One morning I went in my old clothes to the grave where I had buried Tommy. I gave the place a kiss; I said good-by to my little dead dog; and there I was, out in the world again, at the ripe age of thirteen years!”
“I think we both had a vague feeling that our troubles weren’t over yet; anyway, it wasn't long before we were separated forever. Neither of us were thieves (our master was only interested in teaching us to dance); but we did cross the line when it came to property rights. Even when they’re half-starved, young creatures can’t resist a run on a nice morning. Tommy and I couldn't help but run into a gentleman's property; the gentleman took care of his game, and his keeper knew his job. I heard a gunfire, and you can guess what happened next. God save me from ever feeling such misery again as I felt when I lay down next to Tommy, holding him, dead and bloody, in my arms! The keeper tried to pull us apart; I bit him, like the wild creature I was. He then tried to hit me with a stick; he might as well have hit a tree. The noise reached the ears of two young ladies riding nearby—daughters of the gentleman whose land I was trespassing on. They were brought up too well to speak against the sacred right of preserving game, but they were kind-hearted girls, and they felt sorry for me, taking me home with them. I remember the gentlemen in the house (all keen hunters) laughing loudly as I walked by their windows, crying with my little dead dog in my arms. Don’t think I complain about their laughter; it actually helped me; it stirred the indignation of the two ladies. One of them took me into her garden and showed me a spot where I could bury my dog under the flowers, ensuring that no one else would ever disturb him again. The other went to her father and convinced him to give the sad little vagabond a chance in their home, under one of the upper servants. Yes! You’ve been sailing with someone who was once a foot-boy. I saw you look at me when I entertained Mr. Armadale by setting the table on the yacht. Now you know why I set it so neatly and didn’t forget anything. I've been fortunate enough to experience a bit of society; I’ve helped fill its stomach and shine its boots. My time in the servants' hall wasn’t long. Before I wore out my first suit of livery, there was a scandal in the house. It was the same old story; there’s no need to repeat it for the thousandth time. Loose money left on a table, and it was gone; all the servants had references except the foot-boy, who was foolishly taken on trial. Well! I was lucky in that house to the end; I wasn’t prosecuted for taking something I had never touched or even seen: I was just kicked out. One morning, I went back in my old clothes to the grave where I buried Tommy. I kissed the spot; I said goodbye to my little dead dog; and there I was, back in the world again, at the ripe age of thirteen!”
“In that friendless state, and at that tender age,” said Mr. Brock, “did no thought cross your mind of going home again?”
“In that lonely situation, and at that young age,” Mr. Brock said, “didn’t it ever cross your mind to go home again?”
“I went home again, sir, that very night—I slept on the hill-side. What other home had I? In a day or two’s time I drifted back to the large towns and the bad company, the great open country was so lonely to me, now I had lost the dogs! Two sailors picked me up next. I was a handy lad, and I got a cabin-boy’s berth on board a coasting-vessel. A cabin-boy’s berth means dirt to live in, offal to eat, a man’s work on a boy’s shoulders, and the rope’s-end at regular intervals. The vessel touched at a port in the Hebrides. I was as ungrateful as usual to my best benefactors; I ran away again. Some women found me, half dead of starvation, in the northern wilds of the Isle of Skye. It was near the coast and I took a turn with the fishermen next. There was less of the rope’s-end among my new masters; but plenty of exposure to wind and weather, and hard work enough to have killed a boy who was not a seasoned tramp like me. I fought through it till the winter came, and then the fishermen turned me adrift again. I don’t blame them; food was scarce, and mouths were many. With famine staring the whole community in the face, why should they keep a boy who didn’t belong to them? A great city was my only chance in the winter-time; so I went to Glasgow, and all but stepped into the lion’s mouth as soon as I got there. I was minding an empty cart on the Broomielaw, when I heard my stepfather’s voice on the pavement side of the horse by which I was standing. He had met some person whom he knew, and, to my terror and surprise, they were talking about me. Hidden behind the horse, I heard enough of their conversation to know that I had narrowly escaped discovery before I went on board the coasting-vessel. I had met at that time with another vagabond boy of my own age; we had quarreled and parted. The day after, my stepfather’s inquiries were made in that very district, and it became a question with him (a good personal description being unattainable in either case) which of the two boys he should follow. One of them, he was informed, was known as “Brown,” and the other as “Midwinter.” Brown was just the common name which a cunning runaway boy would be most likely to assume; Midwinter, just the remarkable name which he would be most likely to avoid. The pursuit had accordingly followed Brown, and had allowed me to escape. I leave you to imagine whether I was not doubly and trebly determined to keep my gypsy master’s name after that. But my resolution did not stop here. I made up my mind to leave the country altogether. After a day or two’s lurking about the outward-bound vessels in port, I found out which sailed first, and hid myself on board. Hunger tried hard to force me out before the pilot had left; but hunger was not new to me, and I kept my place. The pilot was out of the vessel when I made my appearance on deck, and there was nothing for it but to keep me or throw me overboard. The captain said (I have no doubt quite truly) that he would have preferred throwing me overboard; but the majesty of the law does sometimes stand the friend even of a vagabond like me. In that way I came back to a sea-life. In that way I learned enough to make me handy and useful (as I saw you noticed) on board Mr. Armadale’s yacht. I sailed more than one voyage, in more than one vessel, to more than one part of the world, and I might have followed the sea for life, if I could only have kept my temper under every provocation that could be laid on it. I had learned a great deal; but, not having learned that, I made the last part of my last voyage home to the port of Bristol in irons; and I saw the inside of a prison for the first time in my life, on a charge of mutinous conduct to one of my officers. You have heard me with extraordinary patience, sir, and I am glad to tell you, in return, that we are not far now from the end of my story. You found some books, if I remember right, when you searched my luggage at the Somersetshire inn?”
“I went home again, sir, that very night—I slept on the hillside. What other home did I have? In a day or two, I drifted back to the big towns and the bad company; the vast open countryside felt so lonely to me now that I had lost the dogs! Two sailors picked me up next. I was a resourceful kid, and I got a cabin-boy’s position on a coastal ship. A cabin-boy’s position means living in filth, eating garbage, doing a man’s work on a boy’s shoulders, and getting punishment with the rope at regular intervals. The ship stopped at a port in the Hebrides. I was as ungrateful as ever to my best benefactors; I ran away again. Some women found me, half dead from starvation, in the northern wilds of the Isle of Skye. It was near the coast, and I then worked with the fishermen. There was less punishment among my new bosses; but plenty of exposure to the elements, and enough hard work to have killed a kid who wasn’t a seasoned wanderer like me. I managed to get through it until winter came, and then the fishermen let me go again. I don’t blame them; food was scarce, and there were many mouths to feed. With hunger staring the entire community in the face, why would they keep a boy who didn’t belong to them? A big city was my only option in the winter; so I went to Glasgow and almost walked straight into trouble as soon as I arrived. I was watching an empty cart on the Broomielaw when I heard my stepfather’s voice on the sidewalk beside the horse I was standing by. He had run into someone he knew, and to my horror and surprise, they were talking about me. Hidden behind the horse, I heard enough of their conversation to realize that I had narrowly escaped being found before I went on board the coastal ship. At that time, I had met another homeless boy my age; we had argued and parted ways. The day after, my stepfather’s inquiries took place in that very area, and it became a dilemma for him (as a good personal description was impossible in either case) as to which of the two boys he should follow. One of them, he was told, was known as “Brown,” and the other as “Midwinter.” Brown was just a common name that a clever runaway kid would most likely take; Midwinter was just the unusual name he would probably steer clear of. Therefore, the pursuit followed Brown and let me escape. I’ll let you imagine how determined I was to keep my gypsy master’s name after that. But I didn’t stop there. I decided to leave the country entirely. After a day or two of hiding around the outgoing ships in port, I figured out which one sailed first and hid on board. Hunger tried hard to force me out before the pilot left; but I was used to hunger, so I held my ground. The pilot was off the ship when I finally showed up on deck, and there was no choice but to either keep me or throw me overboard. The captain said (I have no doubt quite truthfully) that he would have preferred throwing me overboard; but the majesty of the law can sometimes protect even a vagabond like me. That’s how I got back to life at sea. That’s how I learned enough to be handy and useful (as I noticed you saw) on board Mr. Armadale’s yacht. I sailed more than one voyage, in more than one ship, to more than one part of the world, and I could have followed the sea for life, if only I could have kept my temper under every provocation. I had learned a lot; but, since I hadn’t learned that, I ended the last part of my last voyage home to the port of Bristol in shackles; and for the first time in my life, I saw the inside of a prison, charged with mutinous conduct against one of my officers. You’ve listened to me with extraordinary patience, sir, and I’m glad to say that we’re not far from the end of my story now. You found some books, if I remember correctly, when you searched my luggage at the Somersetshire inn?”
Mr. Brock answered in the affirmative.
Mr. Brock replied yes.
“Those books mark the next change in my life—and the last, before I took the usher’s place at the school. My term of imprisonment was not a long one. Perhaps my youth pleaded for me; perhaps the Bristol magistrates took into consideration the time I had passed in irons on board ship. Anyhow, I was just turned seventeen when I found myself out on the world again. I had no friends to receive me; I had no place to go to. A sailor’s life, after what had happened, was a life I recoiled from in disgust. I stood in the crowd on the bridge at Bristol, wondering what I should do with my freedom now I had got it back. Whether I had altered in the prison, or whether I was feeling the change in character that comes with coming manhood, I don’t know; but the old reckless enjoyment of the old vagabond life seemed quite worn out of my nature. An awful sense of loneliness kept me wandering about Bristol, in horror of the quiet country, till after nightfall. I looked at the lights kindling in the parlor windows, with a miserable envy of the happy people inside. A word of advice would have been worth something to me at that time. Well! I got it: a policeman advised me to move on. He was quite right; what else could I do? I looked up at the sky, and there was my old friend of many a night’s watch at sea, the north star. ‘All points of the compass are alike to me,’ I thought to myself; ‘I’ll go your way.’ Not even the star would keep me company that night. It got behind a cloud, and left me alone in the rain and darkness. I groped my way to a cart-shed, fell asleep, and dreamed of old times, when I served my gypsy master and lived with the dogs. God! what I would have given when I woke to have felt Tommy’s little cold muzzle in my hand! Why am I dwelling on these things? Why don’t I get on to the end? You shouldn’t encourage me, sir, by listening, so patiently. After a week more of wandering, without hope to help me, or prospects to look to, I found myself in the streets of Shrewsbury, staring in at the windows of a book-seller’s shop. An old man came to the shop door, looked about him, and saw me. ‘Do you want a job?’ he asked. ‘And are you not above doing it cheap?’ The prospect of having something to do, and some human creature to speak a word to, tempted me, and I did a day’s dirty work in the book-seller’s warehouse for a shilling. More work followed at the same rate. In a week I was promoted to sweep out the shop and put up the shutters. In no very long time after, I was trusted to carry the books out; and when quarter-day came, and the shop-man left, I took his place. Wonderful luck! you will say; here I had found my way to a friend at last. I had found my way to one of the most merciless misers in England; and I had risen in the little world of Shrewsbury by the purely commercial process of underselling all my competitors. The job in the warehouse had been declined at the price by every idle man in the town, and I did it. The regular porter received his weekly pittance under weekly protest. I took two shillings less, and made no complaint. The shop-man gave warning on the ground that he was underfed as well as underpaid. I received half his salary, and lived contentedly on his reversionary scraps. Never were two men so well suited to each other as that book-seller and I. His one object in life was to find somebody who would work for him at starvation wages. My one object in life was to find somebody who would give me an asylum over my head. Without a single sympathy in common—without a vestige of feeling of any sort, hostile or friendly, growing up between us on either side—without wishing each other good-night when we parted on the house stairs, or good-morning when we met at the shop counter, we lived alone in that house, strangers from first to last, for two whole years. A dismal existence for a lad of my age, was it not? You are a clergyman and a scholar—surely you can guess what made the life endurable to me?”
“Those books mark the next change in my life—and the last, before I took the usher’s place at the school. My prison term wasn’t a long one. Maybe my youth worked in my favor; perhaps the Bristol magistrates considered the time I spent in chains on board ship. Regardless, I had just turned seventeen when I found myself back in the world. I had no friends waiting for me; I had nowhere to go. After what had happened, the life of a sailor was one I couldn’t stand. I stood in the crowd on the bridge at Bristol, wondering what I should do with my freedom now that I had it back. I don't know whether I had changed in prison or if I was just feeling the shift that comes with growing up, but the old reckless enjoyment of my vagabond life seemed completely drained from me. A terrible sense of loneliness kept me wandering around Bristol, terrified of the quiet countryside, until after dark. I looked at the lights flickering in the parlor windows, feeling miserable envy for the happy people inside. A bit of advice would have meant a lot to me then. Well! I got it: a policeman told me to move along. He was right; what else could I do? I looked up at the sky, and there was my old friend from many nights at sea, the north star. ‘All points of the compass are the same to me,’ I thought; ‘I’ll go your way.’ Even the star wouldn’t keep me company that night. It vanished behind a cloud, leaving me alone in the rain and darkness. I stumbled into a cart-shed, fell asleep, and dreamed of old times when I served my gypsy master and lived with the dogs. God! What I would have given when I woke up to feel Tommy’s little cold nose in my hand! Why am I stuck on these memories? Why don’t I just get to the end? You shouldn’t encourage me, sir, by listening so patiently. After another week of wandering, with no hope or prospects, I found myself in the streets of Shrewsbury, staring into a bookshop window. An old man came to the shop door, looked around, and saw me. ‘Do you want a job?’ he asked. ‘And are you not above doing it for cheap?’ The chance to do something and talk to another human being tempted me, so I did a day's dirty work in the bookshop's warehouse for a shilling. More work followed at the same rate. Within a week, I was promoted to sweep out the shop and put up the shutters. Not long after that, I was trusted to carry out the books; and when quarter-day came and the shop-man left, I took his place. Wonderful luck! you'd say; here I had finally found a friend. Instead, I had ended up with one of the most merciless misers in England, and I had climbed the ranks in the little world of Shrewsbury by the simple method of undercutting all my competitors. The job in the warehouse had been turned down at that price by every idle man in town, and I took it. The regular porter received his weekly pay with complaints every week. I took two shillings less and never complained. The shop-man quit because he felt underfed as well as underpaid. I received half of his salary and lived happily off his leftover scraps. Never were two people so suited to each other as that bookseller and I. His only goal in life was to find someone who would work for him at starvation wages. My only goal was to find someone who would provide me with a roof over my head. Without a single common interest—without any trace of feeling, hostile or friendly, developing between us—without wishing each other good-night when we parted on the stairs, or good-morning when we met at the counter, we lived together in that house, as strangers from start to finish, for two whole years. A miserable existence for a kid my age, wasn’t it? You’re a clergyman and a scholar—surely you can guess what made that life bearable for me?”
Mr. Brock remembered the well-worn volumes which had been found in the usher’s bag. “The books made it endurable to you,” he said.
Mr. Brock remembered the well-used books that had been discovered in the usher’s bag. “The books made it bearable for you,” he said.
The eyes of the castaway kindled with a new light.
The castaway's eyes lit up with a new spark.
“Yes!” he said, “the books—the generous friends who met me without suspicion—the merciful masters who never used me ill! The only years of my life that I can look back on with something like pride are the years I passed in the miser’s house. The only unalloyed pleasure I have ever tasted is the pleasure that I found for myself on the miser’s shelves. Early and late, through the long winter nights and the quiet summer days, I drank at the fountain of knowledge, and never wearied of the draught. There were few customers to serve, for the books were mostly of the solid and scholarly kind. No responsibilities rested on me, for the accounts were kept by my master, and only the small sums of money were suffered to pass through my hands. He soon found out enough of me to know that my honesty was to be trusted, and that my patience might be counted on, treat me as he might. The one insight into his character which I obtained, on my side, widened the distance between us to its last limits. He was a confirmed opium-eater in secret—a prodigal in laudanum, though a miser in all besides. He never confessed his frailty, and I never told him I had found it out. He had his pleasure apart from me, and I had my pleasure apart from him. Week after week, month after month, there we sat, without a friendly word ever passing between us—I, alone with my book at the counter; he, alone with his ledger in the parlor, dimly visible to me through the dirty window-pane of the glass door, sometimes poring over his figures, sometimes lost and motionless for hours in the ecstasy of his opium trance. Time passed, and made no impression on us; the seasons of two years came and went, and found us still unchanged. One morning, at the opening of the third year, my master did not appear, as usual, to give me my allowance for breakfast. I went upstairs, and found him helpless in his bed. He refused to trust me with the keys of the cupboard, or to let me send for a doctor. I bought a morsel of bread, and went back to my books, with no more feeling for him (I honestly confess it) than he would have had for me under the same circumstances. An hour or two later I was roused from my reading by an occasional customer of ours, a retired medical man. He went upstairs. I was glad to get rid of him and return to my books. He came down again, and disturbed me once more. ‘I don’t much like you, my lad,’ he said; ‘but I think it my duty to say that you will soon have to shift for yourself. You are no great favorite in the town, and you may have some difficulty in finding a new place. Provide yourself with a written character from your master before it is too late.’ He spoke to me coldly. I thanked him coldly on my side, and got my character the same day. Do you think my master let me have it for nothing? Not he! He bargained with me on his deathbed. I was his creditor for a month’s salary, and he wouldn’t write a line of my testimonial until I had first promised to forgive him the debt. Three days afterward he died, enjoying to the last the happiness of having overreached his shop-man. ‘Aha!’ he whispered, when the doctor formally summoned me to take leave of him, ‘I got you cheap!’ Was Ozias Midwinter’s stick as cruel as that? I think not. Well! there I was, out on the world again, but surely with better prospects this time. I had taught myself to read Latin, Greek, and German; and I had got my written character to speak for me. All useless! The doctor was quite right; I was not liked in the town. The lower order of the people despised me for selling my services to the miser at the miser’s price. As for the better classes, I did with them (God knows how!) what I have always done with everybody except Mr. Armadale—I produced a disagreeable impression at first sight; I couldn’t mend it afterward; and there was an end of me in respectable quarters. It is quite likely I might have spent all my savings, my puny little golden offspring of two years’ miserable growth, but for a school advertisement which I saw in a local paper. The heartlessly mean terms that were offered encouraged me to apply; and I got the place. How I prospered in it, and what became of me next, there is no need to tell you. The thread of my story is all wound off; my vagabond life stands stripped of its mystery; and you know the worst of me at last.”
“Yes!” he said, “the books—the generous friends who welcomed me without suspicion—the kind masters who never treated me poorly! The only years of my life that I can look back on with a sense of pride are the years I spent in the miser’s house. The only genuine pleasure I’ve ever experienced is the pleasure I found on the miser’s shelves. Day and night, through long winter nights and quiet summer days, I drank from the fountain of knowledge and never grew tired of it. There were few customers to serve, since the books were mostly serious and academic. I had no responsibilities, as my master kept the accounts, and only small amounts of money passed through my hands. He quickly learned enough about me to trust my honesty and count on my patience, no matter how he treated me. The one insight I gained into his character only widened the gap between us. He was secretly a heavy opium user—a hedonist in laudanum, though a miser in every other way. He never confessed his weakness, and I never told him I had found it out. He had his pleasures separate from mine, and I had mine apart from him. Week after week, month after month, we sat there, without a friendly word ever passing between us—I, alone with my book at the counter; he, alone with his ledger in the parlor, barely visible to me through the grimy window of the glass door, sometimes focused on his figures, sometimes lost and motionless for hours in the bliss of his opium trance. Time passed without leaving any mark on us; the seasons of two years came and went, and we remained unchanged. One morning, at the start of the third year, my master didn’t appear, as usual, to give me my allowance for breakfast. I went upstairs and found him helpless in his bed. He refused to trust me with the keys to the cupboard, or to let me call for a doctor. I bought a piece of bread and went back to my books, feeling no more for him (I honestly admit it) than he would have felt for me under the same circumstances. A couple of hours later, I was interrupted by an occasional customer of ours, a retired doctor. He went upstairs. I was glad to see him go so I could return to my reading. He came down again and disturbed me once more. ‘I don’t really like you, my lad,’ he said; ‘but I think it’s my duty to warn you that you’ll soon have to fend for yourself. You’re not well-liked in town, and you might have trouble finding a new position. Get a written reference from your master before it’s too late.’ He spoke to me coldly. I thanked him in the same tone and got my reference that very day. Do you think my master gave it to me for free? Not at all! He negotiated with me on his deathbed. I was owed a month’s salary, and he wouldn’t write my reference until I agreed to forgive him the debt. Three days later, he died, enjoying the last bit of happiness from having outsmarted his shop assistant. ‘Aha!’ he whispered when the doctor formally called me to say goodbye, ‘I got you cheap!’ Was Ozias Midwinter's stick as cruel as that? I think not. Anyway! There I was, back in the world again, but hopefully with better prospects this time. I had taught myself to read Latin, Greek, and German; and I had my written reference to speak for me. All useless! The doctor was right; I wasn’t liked in town. The lower class looked down on me for selling my services to the miser at such a low rate. As for the upper class, I did what I always do with everyone except Mr. Armadale—I made a bad impression at first sight; I couldn’t change it afterward; and that was the end of my chances in respectable circles. It’s quite likely I would have spent all my savings, my small amount of hard-earned money from two years of miserable work, if not for a school advertisement I saw in a local paper. The heartlessly low terms offered pushed me to apply; and I got the position. How I thrived there and what happened to me next isn’t necessary to explain. The thread of my story is all unspooled; my restless life has been stripped of its mystery; and you know the worst of me at last.”
A moment of silence followed those closing words. Midwinter rose from the window-seat, and came back to the table with the letter from Wildbad in his hand.
A moment of silence followed those final words. Midwinter got up from the window seat and returned to the table with the letter from Wildbad in his hand.
“My father’s confession has told you who I am; and my own confession has told you what my life has been,” he said, addressing Mr. Brock, without taking the chair to which the rector pointed. “I promised to make a clean breast of it when I first asked leave to enter this room. Have I kept my word?”
“My father’s confession has revealed who I am; and my own confession has shared what my life has been,” he said, looking at Mr. Brock, without sitting in the chair the rector indicated. “I promised to be completely honest when I first asked for permission to come in here. Have I kept my promise?”
“It is impossible to doubt it,” replied Mr. Brock. “You have established your claim on my confidence and my sympathy. I should be insensible, indeed, if I could know what I now know of your childhood and your youth, and not feel something of Allan’s kindness for Allan’s friend.”
“It’s impossible to question it,” Mr. Brock replied. “You’ve earned my trust and my sympathy. I would have to be really cold not to feel some of Allan’s kindness for his friend after hearing what I now know about your childhood and youth.”
“Thank you, sir,” said Midwinter, simply and gravely.
“Thank you, sir,” Midwinter said, straightforwardly and seriously.
He sat down opposite Mr. Brook at the table for the first time.
He sat down across from Mr. Brook at the table for the first time.
“In a few hours you will have left this place,” he proceeded. “If I can help you to leave it with your mind at ease, I will. There is more to be said between us than we have said up to this time. My future relations with Mr. Armadale are still left undecided; and the serious question raised by my father’s letter is a question which we have neither of us faced yet.”
“In a few hours, you'll be leaving this place,” he continued. “If I can help you leave with peace of mind, I will. There’s more to discuss between us than we've talked about so far. My future dealings with Mr. Armadale are still up in the air, and the serious matter brought up by my father’s letter is something we haven’t confronted yet.”
He paused, and looked with a momentary impatience at the candle still burning on the table, in the morning light. The struggle to speak with composure, and to keep his own feelings stoically out of view, was evidently growing harder and harder to him.
He paused and glanced with a fleeting impatience at the candle still burning on the table in the morning light. The effort to speak calmly and keep his own emotions hidden was clearly becoming increasingly difficult for him.
“It may possibly help your decision,” he went on, “if I tell you how I determined to act toward Mr. Armadale—in the matter of the similarity of our names—when I first read this letter, and when I had composed myself sufficiently to be able to think at all.” He stopped, and cast a second impatient look at the lighted candle. “Will you excuse the odd fancy of an odd man?” he asked, with a faint smile. “I want to put out the candle: I want to speak of the new subject, in the new light.”
“It might help your decision,” he continued, “if I explain how I decided to approach Mr. Armadale—regarding the similarity of our names—when I first read this letter and managed to calm myself enough to think clearly.” He paused and shot another impatient glance at the lit candle. “Will you forgive the quirky idea of a quirky man?” he asked with a slight smile. “I want to blow out the candle: I want to discuss the new topic in the new light.”
He extinguished the candle as he spoke, and let the first tenderness of the daylight flow uninterruptedly into the room.
He blew out the candle as he spoke and let the gentle morning light flow freely into the room.
“I must once more ask your patience,” he resumed, “if I return for a moment to myself and my circumstances. I have already told you that my stepfather made an attempt to discover me some years after I had turned my back on the Scotch school. He took that step out of no anxiety of his own, but simply as the agent of my father’s trustees. In the exercise of their discretion, they had sold the estates in Barbadoes (at the time of the emancipation of the slaves, and the ruin of West Indian property) for what the estates would fetch. Having invested the proceeds, they were bound to set aside a sum for my yearly education. This responsibility obliged them to make the attempt to trace me—a fruitless attempt, as you already know. A little later (as I have been since informed) I was publicly addressed by an advertisement in the newspapers, which I never saw. Later still, when I was twenty-one, a second advertisement appeared (which I did see) offering a reward for evidence of my death. If I was alive, I had a right to my half share of the proceeds of the estates on coming of age; if dead, the money reverted to my mother. I went to the lawyers, and heard from them what I have just told you. After some difficulty in proving my identity—and after an interview with my stepfather, and a message from my mother, which has hopelessly widened the old breach between us—my claim was allowed; and my money is now invested for me in the funds, under the name that is really my own.”
“I have to ask for your patience one more time,” he continued, “as I take a moment to talk about myself and my situation. I’ve already mentioned that my stepfather tried to find me a few years after I left the Scottish school. He did this not out of his own concern, but simply as the representative of my father’s trustees. They had sold the estates in Barbados (during the time of the emancipation of the slaves and the decline of West Indian property) for what they could get. After investing the proceeds, they were required to set aside money for my education each year. This responsibility forced them to try and locate me—a fruitless effort, as you already know. A little later (as I learned later), I was addressed publicly through an advertisement in the newspapers, which I never saw. Even later, when I turned twenty-one, a second advertisement appeared (which I did see) offering a reward for proof of my death. If I was alive, I had a right to my half of the estate's proceeds upon reaching adulthood; if I was dead, the money would go back to my mother. I went to the lawyers, and they told me what I’ve just shared with you. After some challenges proving my identity—and after a meeting with my stepfather and a message from my mother, which has made the divide between us even wider—my claim was accepted; and my money is now invested for me in the funds, under the name that is truly mine.”
Mr. Brock drew eagerly nearer to the table. He saw the end now to which the speaker was tending
Mr. Brock eagerly moved closer to the table. He could see the direction the speaker was heading.
“Twice a year,” Midwinter pursued, “I must sign my own name to get my own income. At all other times, and under all other circumstances, I may hide my identity under any name I please. As Ozias Midwinter, Mr. Armadale first knew me; as Ozias Midwinter he shall know me to the end of my days. Whatever may be the result of this interview—whether I win your confidence or whether I lose it—of one thing you may feel sure: your pupil shall never know the horrible secret which I have trusted to your keeping. This is no extraordinary resolution; for, as you know already, it costs me no sacrifice of feeling to keep my assumed name. There is nothing in my conduct to praise; it comes naturally out of the gratitude of a thankful man. Review the circumstances for yourself, sir, and set my own horror of revealing them to Mr. Armadale out of the question. If the story of the names is ever told, there can be no limiting it to the disclosure of my father’s crime; it must go back to the story of Mrs. Armadale’s marriage. I have heard her son talk of her; I know how he loves her memory. As God is my witness, he shall never love it less dearly through me!”
“Twice a year,” Midwinter continued, “I have to sign my own name to get my own income. At all other times, and in every other situation, I can hide my identity under any name I choose. Mr. Armadale first knew me as Ozias Midwinter; as Ozias Midwinter, he will know me for the rest of my life. No matter what happens in this meeting—whether I earn your trust or lose it—you can be sure of one thing: your student will never learn the terrible secret I’ve entrusted to you. This isn’t an unusual decision; as you already know, it doesn’t cost me any emotional struggle to keep my assumed name. There’s nothing praiseworthy in my actions; it comes naturally from the gratitude of a thankful man. Consider the circumstances yourself, sir, and set aside my own dread of revealing them to Mr. Armadale. If the story of the names is ever shared, it can’t just be limited to revealing my father’s crime; it must trace back to the story of Mrs. Armadale’s marriage. I’ve heard her son speak of her; I know how dearly he cherishes her memory. As God is my witness, he will never cherish it less because of me!”
Simply as the words were spoken, they touched the deepest sympathies in the rector’s nature: they took his thoughts back to Mrs. Armadale’s deathbed. There sat the man against whom she had ignorantly warned him in her son’s interests; and that man, of his own free-will, had laid on himself the obligation of respecting her secret for her son’s sake! The memory of his own past efforts to destroy the very friendship out of which this resolution had sprung rose and reproached Mr. Brock. He held out his hand to Midwinter for the first time. “In her name, and in her son’s name,” he said, warmly, “I thank you.”
As soon as the words were spoken, they hit the deepest chords of sympathy in the rector’s heart: they reminded him of Mrs. Armadale’s deathbed. There sat the man she had unknowingly warned him about for her son’s sake; and that man, of his own choosing, had committed to keeping her secret for her son! The memory of his past attempts to ruin the very friendship that led to this decision haunted Mr. Brock. He extended his hand to Midwinter for the first time. “In her name, and in her son’s name,” he said warmly, “thank you.”
Without replying, Midwinter spread the confession open before him on the table.
Without saying a word, Midwinter laid the confession open in front of him on the table.
“I think I have said all that it was my duty to say,” he began, “before we could approach the consideration of this letter. Whatever may have appeared strange in my conduct toward you and toward Mr. Armadale may be now trusted to explain itself. You can easily imagine the natural curiosity and surprise that I must have felt (ignorant as I then was of the truth) when the sound of Mr. Armadale’s name first startled me as the echo of my own. You will readily understand that I only hesitated to tell him I was his namesake, because I hesitated to damage my position—in your estimation, if not in his—by confessing that I had come among you under an assumed name. And, after all that you have just heard of my vagabond life and my low associates, you will hardly wonder at the obstinate silence I maintained about myself, at a time when I did not feel the sense of responsibility which my father’s confession has laid on me. We can return to these small personal explanations, if you wish it, at another time; they cannot be suffered to keep us from the greater interests which we must settle before you leave this place. We may come now—” His voice faltered, and he suddenly turned his face toward the window, so as to hide it from the rector’s view. “We may come now,” he repeated, his hand trembling visibly as it held the page, “to the murder on board the timber-ship, and to the warning that has followed me from my father’s grave.”
“I think I’ve said everything I needed to say,” he started, “before we can discuss this letter. Whatever may have seemed odd about my behavior toward you and Mr. Armadale can now explain itself. You can easily imagine the natural curiosity and surprise I must have felt (not knowing the truth at the time) when I first heard Mr. Armadale’s name, which echoed my own. You’ll understand that I hesitated to tell him I was his namesake because I didn’t want to jeopardize my standing—with you, if not with him—by admitting I had come among you using a false name. And, considering everything you’ve just heard about my wandering life and my unsavory associates, you can hardly blame me for keeping silent about myself at a time when I didn’t feel the weight of responsibility that my father’s confession has placed on me. We can go back to these small personal details, if you'd like, another time; we can’t let them distract us from the bigger issues we need to resolve before you leave this place. We should move on now—” His voice broke, and he turned his face toward the window to hide it from the rector. “We should move on now,” he repeated, his hand shaking visibly as it held the page, “to the murder on the timber ship, and to the warning that has followed me from my father’s grave.”
Softly—as if he feared they might reach Allan, sleeping in the neighboring room—he read the last terrible words which the Scotchman’s pen had written at Wildbad, as they fell from his father’s lips:
Softly—like he was afraid they might wake Allan, who was sleeping in the next room—he read the final awful words that the Scotsman's pen had written at Wildbad as they came from his father's lips:
“Avoid the widow of the man I killed—if the widow still lives. Avoid the maid whose wicked hand smoothed the way to the marriage—if the maid is still in her service. And, more than all, avoid the man who bears the same name as your own. Offend your best benefactor, if that benefactor’s influence has connected you one with the other. Desert the woman who loves you, if that woman is a link between you and him. Hide yourself from him under an assumed name. Put the mountains and the seas between you; be ungrateful; be unforgiving; be all that is most repellent to your own gentler nature, rather than live under the same roof and breathe the same air with that man. Never let the two Allan Armadales meet in this world; never, never, never!”
“Avoid the widow of the man I killed—if she’s still alive. Stay away from the maid whose wicked actions helped the marriage—if she’s still in service. And most importantly, steer clear of the man who shares your name. Upset your best benefactor, even if their influence has tied you together. Abandon the woman who loves you if she connects you to him. Hide from him under a fake name. Put mountains and seas between you; be ungrateful; be unforgiving; become everything that goes against your kind nature, rather than live under the same roof and breathe the same air as that man. Never let the two Allan Armadales meet in this world; never, never, never!”
After reading those sentences, he pushed the manuscript from him, without looking up. The fatal reserve which he had been in a fair way of conquering but a few minutes since, possessed itself of him once more. Again his eyes wandered; again his voice sank in tone. A stranger who had heard his story, and who saw him now, would have said, “His look is lurking, his manner is bad; he is, every inch of him, his father’s son.”
After reading those lines, he pushed the manuscript away from him without looking up. The fatal reserve he had almost overcome just a few minutes earlier took hold of him again. Once more, his eyes roamed; once more, his voice dropped in tone. A stranger who had heard his story and saw him now would have said, “His expression is secretive, his demeanor is off; he is, in every way, his father’s son.”
“I have a question to ask you,” said Mr. Brock, breaking the silence between them, on his side. “Why have you just read that passage in your father’s letter?”
“I have a question to ask you,” Mr. Brock said, breaking the silence on his side. “Why did you just read that part of your father’s letter?”
“To force me into telling you the truth,” was the answer. “You must know how much there is of my father in me before you trust me to be Mr. Armadale’s friend. I got my letter yesterday, in the morning. Some inner warning troubled me, and I went down on the sea-shore by myself before I broke the seal. Do you believe the dead can come back to the world they once lived in? I believe my father came back in that bright morning light, through the glare of that broad sunshine and the roar of that joyful sea, and watched me while I read. When I got to the words that you have just heard, and when I knew that the very end which he had died dreading was the end that had really come, I felt the horror that had crept over him in his last moments creeping over me. I struggled against myself, as he would have had me struggle. I tried to be all that was most repellent to my own gentler nature; I tried to think pitilessly of putting the mountains and the seas between me and the man who bore my name. Hours passed before I could prevail on myself to go back and run the risk of meeting Allan Armadale in this house. When I did get back, and when he met me at night on the stairs, I thought I was looking him in the face as my father looked his father in the face when the cabin door closed between them. Draw your own conclusions, sir. Say, if you like, that the inheritance of my father’s heathen belief in fate is one of the inheritances he has left to me. I won’t dispute it; I won’t deny that all through yesterday his superstition was my superstition. The night came before I could find my way to calmer and brighter thoughts. But I did find my way. You may set it down in my favor that I lifted myself at last above the influence of this horrible letter. Do you know what helped me?”
“To make me tell you the truth,” was the reply. “You need to understand how much my father is part of me before you can trust me as Mr. Armadale’s friend. I got my letter yesterday morning. Some inner feeling disturbed me, so I went down to the beach alone before I opened it. Do you believe the dead can come back to the world they once inhabited? I believe my father returned that bright morning, through the blazing sunshine and the roaring sea, and watched me read. When I got to the words you just heard, and realized that the very end he had feared was the end that had truly come, I felt the dread that had overtaken him in his final moments creeping over me. I fought against myself, just as he would have wanted me to. I tried to embrace everything that was most alien to my gentler nature; I tried to think mercilessly about putting mountains and oceans between me and the man who shares my name. Hours went by before I could convince myself to return and face the chance of encountering Allan Armadale in this house. When I finally got back and he saw me on the stairs that night, I felt like I was looking him in the eyes as my father looked into his father’s eyes when the cabin door shut between them. You can draw your own conclusions, sir. If you want, say that my father’s pagan belief in fate is one of the legacies he has left me. I won’t argue; I won’t deny that throughout yesterday, his superstition was my superstition. Night fell before I could find my way to calmer and brighter thoughts. But I did find my way. You can take note that I finally elevated myself above the influence of this dreadful letter. Do you know what helped me?”
“Did you reason with yourself?”
"Did you think it through?"
“I can’t reason about what I feel.”
“I can’t make sense of what I feel.”
“Did you quiet your mind by prayer?”
“Did you calm your mind through prayer?”
“I was not fit to pray.”
“I wasn't in the right place to pray.”
“And yet something guided you to the better feeling and the truer view?”
“And yet something led you to a better feeling and a clearer perspective?”
“Something did.”
"Something happened."
“What was it?”
“What was that?”
“My love for Allan Armadale.”
“My love for Allan Armadale.”
He cast a doubting, almost a timid look at Mr. Brock as he gave that answer, and, suddenly leaving the table, went back to the window-seat.
He gave Mr. Brock a doubtful, almost hesitant glance as he responded, and then suddenly left the table to return to the window seat.
“Have I no right to speak of him in that way?” he asked, keeping his face hidden from the rector. “Have I not known him long enough; have I not done enough for him yet? Remember what my experience of other men had been when I first saw his hand held out to me—when I first heard his voice speaking to me in my sick-room. What had I known of strangers’ hands all through my childhood? I had only known them as hands raised to threaten and to strike me. His hand put my pillow straight, and patted me on the shoulder, and gave me my food and drink. What had I known of other men’s voices, when I was growing up to be a man myself? I had only known them as voices that jeered, voices that cursed, voices that whispered in corners with a vile distrust. His voice said to me, ‘Cheer up, Midwinter! we’ll soon bring you round again. You’ll be strong enough in a week to go out for a drive with me in our Somersetshire lanes.’ Think of the gypsy’s stick; think of the devils laughing at me when I went by their windows with my little dead dog in my arms; think of the master who cheated me of my month’s salary on his deathbed—and ask your own heart if the miserable wretch whom Allan Armadale has treated as his equal and his friend has said too much in saying that he loves him? I do love him! It will come out of me; I can’t keep it back. I love the very ground he treads on! I would give my life—yes, the life that is precious to me now, because his kindness has made it a happy one—I tell you I would give my life—”
“Do I not have the right to talk about him like that?” he asked, keeping his face hidden from the rector. “Haven’t I known him long enough? Haven’t I done enough for him yet? Remember how other men had treated me when I first saw his hand reaching out to me—when I first heard his voice speaking to me in my sickroom. What did I know of strangers' hands throughout my childhood? I only knew them as hands raised to threaten and hit me. His hand adjusted my pillow, patted me on the shoulder, and gave me my food and drink. What did I know of other men's voices while I was growing up? I only knew them as voices that mocked, voices that cursed, voices that whispered in corners with vile distrust. His voice told me, ‘Cheer up, Midwinter! We’ll have you up and about again soon. In a week, you’ll be strong enough to go for a drive with me in our Somersetshire lanes.’ Think about the gypsy’s stick; think about the devils laughing at me when I passed by their windows holding my little dead dog; think about the boss who cheated me out of my month’s salary on his deathbed—and ask yourself if the miserable wretch whom Allan Armadale has treated as his equal and friend has said too much in claiming that he loves him? I do love him! It will come out of me; I can’t hold it back. I love the very ground he walks on! I would give my life—yes, the life that means so much to me now, because his kindness has made it a happy one—I tell you I would give my life—”
The next words died away on his lips; the hysterical passion rose, and conquered him. He stretched out one of his hands with a wild gesture of entreaty to Mr. Brock; his head sank on the window-sill and he burst into tears.
The next words faded on his lips; the intense emotion surged and overwhelmed him. He reached out one hand in a desperate plea to Mr. Brock; his head dropped onto the window sill, and he broke down in tears.
Even then the hard discipline of the man’s life asserted itself. He expected no sympathy, he counted on no merciful human respect for human weakness. The cruel necessity of self-suppression was present to his mind, while the tears were pouring over his cheeks. “Give me a minute,” he said, faintly. “I’ll fight it down in a minute; I won’t distress you in this way again.”
Even then, the strict discipline of the man's life made itself clear. He didn’t expect any sympathy, nor did he count on any kind human respect for weakness. The harsh necessity of pushing his feelings down was in his thoughts, even as tears streamed down his cheeks. “Give me a minute,” he said weakly. “I’ll hold it together in a minute; I won’t upset you like this again.”
True to his resolution, in a minute he had fought it down. In a minute more he was able to speak calmly.
True to his determination, in a minute he had pushed it aside. In another minute, he was able to speak calmly.
“We will get back, sir, to those better thoughts which have brought me from my room to yours,” he resumed. “I can only repeat that I should never have torn myself from the hold which this letter fastened on me, if I had not loved Allan Armadale with all that I have in me of a brother’s love. I said to myself, ‘If the thought of leaving him breaks my heart, the thought of leaving him is wrong!’ That was some hours since, and I am in the same mind still. I can’t believe—I won’t believe—that a friendship which has grown out of nothing but kindness on one side, and nothing but gratitude on the other, is destined to lead to an evil end. Judge, you who are a clergyman, between the dead father, whose word is in these pages, and the living son, whose word is now on his lips! What is it appointed me to do, now that I am breathing the same air, and living under the same roof with the son of the man whom my father killed—to perpetuate my father’s crime by mortally injuring him, or to atone for my father’s crime by giving him the devotion of my whole life? The last of those two faiths is my faith, and shall be my faith, happen what may. In the strength of that better conviction, I have come here to trust you with my father’s secret, and to confess the wretched story of my own life. In the strength of that better conviction, I can face you resolutely with the one plain question, which marks the one plain end of all that I have come here to say. Your pupil stands at the starting-point of his new career, in a position singularly friendless; his one great need is a companion of his own age on whom he can rely. The time has come, sir, to decide whether I am to be that companion or not. After all you have heard of Ozias Midwinter, tell me plainly, will you trust him to be Allan Armadale’s friend?”
"We’ll get back to the better thoughts that brought me from my room to yours,” he continued. “I can only repeat that I would never have torn myself away from the grip this letter had on me if I didn’t love Allan Armadale with all my heart like a brother. I told myself, ‘If the thought of leaving him hurts me, then leaving him is wrong!’ That was hours ago, and I still feel the same way. I can’t believe—I refuse to believe—that a friendship built solely on kindness from one side and gratitude from the other is destined to end badly. Judge, as a clergyman, you can see the difference between the dead father, whose words are here on these pages, and the living son, whose words are now on his lips! What am I supposed to do now that I’m breathing the same air and living under the same roof as the son of the man my father killed—continue my father’s crime by harming him or make up for my father’s crime by dedicating my whole life to him? The latter is my belief, and it always will be, no matter what happens. With that conviction, I have come here to share my father’s secret with you and to confess the miserable story of my life. With that same conviction, I can face you directly with the one simple question that sums up why I’m here. Your pupil is at the starting point of his new career, in a uniquely friendless situation; his greatest need is a peer he can trust. It’s time to decide whether I am that companion or not. After all you’ve heard about Ozias Midwinter, tell me directly, will you trust him to be Allan Armadale’s friend?”
Mr. Brock met that fearlessly frank question by a fearless frankness on his side.
Mr. Brock responded to that boldly honest question with his own bold honesty.
“I believe you love Allan,” he said, “and I believe you have spoken the truth. A man who has produced that impression on me is a man whom I am bound to trust. I trust you.”
“I believe you love Allan,” he said, “and I believe you’ve been honest. A man who has made that kind of impression on me is someone I have to trust. I trust you.”
Midwinter started to his feet, his dark face flushing deep; his eyes fixed brightly and steadily, at last, on the rector’s face. “A light!” he exclaimed, tearing the pages of his father’s letter, one by one, from the fastening that held them. “Let us destroy the last link that holds us to the horrible past! Let us see this confession a heap of ashes before we part!”
Midwinter jumped to his feet, his dark face turning red; his eyes finally locked onto the rector’s face with intensity. “A light!” he shouted, ripping his father’s letter apart, page by page. “Let’s break the last connection to our horrible past! Let’s turn this confession into a pile of ashes before we go our separate ways!”
“Wait!” said Mr. Brock. “Before you burn it, there is a reason for looking at it once more.”
“Wait!” said Mr. Brock. “Before you burn it, we should take a look at it one more time.”
The parted leaves of the manuscript dropped from Midwinter’s hands. Mr. Brock took them up, and sorted them carefully until he found the last page.
The separated pages of the manuscript fell from Midwinter’s hands. Mr. Brock picked them up and organized them meticulously until he located the last page.
“I view your father’s superstition as you view it,” said the rector. “But there is a warning given you here, which you will do well (for Allan’s sake and for your own sake) not to neglect. The last link with the past will not be destroyed when you have burned these pages. One of the actors in this story of treachery and murder is not dead yet. Read those words.”
“I see your father's superstition the same way you do,” said the rector. “But there’s a warning for you here that you should definitely pay attention to (for Allan’s sake and for your own). The last connection to the past won’t be gone just because you burn these pages. One of the people involved in this story of betrayal and murder is still alive. Read those words.”
He pushed the page across the table, with his finger on one sentence. Midwinter’s agitation misled him. He mistook the indication, and read, “Avoid the widow of the man I killed, if the widow still lives.”
He slid the page across the table, his finger resting on one sentence. Midwinter’s anxiety threw him off. He misinterpreted the warning and read, “Stay away from the widow of the man I killed, if she’s still alive.”
“Not that sentence,” said the rector. “The next.”
“Not that sentence,” said the rector. “The next one.”
Midwinter read it: “Avoid the maid whose wicked hand smoothed the way to the marriage, if the maid is still in her service.”
Midwinter read it: “Steer clear of the maid whose deceitful actions facilitated the marriage, if she is still in her employment.”
“The maid and the mistress parted,” said Mr. Brock, “at the time of the mistress’s marriage. The maid and the mistress met again at Mrs. Armadale’s residence in Somersetshire last year. I myself met the woman in the village, and I myself know that her visit hastened Mrs. Armadale’s death. Wait a little, and compose yourself; I see I have startled you.”
“The maid and the mistress separated,” Mr. Brock said, “when the mistress got married. The maid and the mistress met again at Mrs. Armadale’s home in Somersetshire last year. I personally encountered the woman in the village, and I know that her visit sped up Mrs. Armadale’s death. Just wait a moment and take a breath; I can see that I’ve shocked you.”
He waited as he was bid, his color fading away to a gray paleness and the light in his clear brown eyes dying out slowly. What the rector had said had produced no transient impression on him; there was more than doubt, there was alarm in his face, as he sat lost in his own thought. Was the struggle of the past night renewing itself already? Did he feel the horror of his hereditary superstition creeping over him again?
He waited as he was instructed, his face turning a dull gray and the light in his bright brown eyes slowly fading. What the rector had said didn’t just leave a momentary impact on him; his expression showed more than doubt—there was real fear as he sat caught up in his own thoughts. Was the battle of the previous night starting all over again? Was he feeling the grip of his inherited superstition creeping back in?
“Can you put me on my guard against her?” he asked, after a long interval of silence. “Can you tell me her name?”
“Can you warn me about her?” he asked after a long pause. “Can you tell me her name?”
“I can only tell you what Mrs. Armadale told me,” answered Mr. Brock. “The woman acknowledged having been married in the long interval since she and her mistress had last met. But not a word more escaped her about her past life. She came to Mrs. Armadale to ask for money, under a plea of distress. She got the money, and she left the house, positively refusing, when the question was put to her, to mention her married name.”
“I can only tell you what Mrs. Armadale told me,” Mr. Brock replied. “The woman admitted that she had married during the long time since she and her mistress last met. But she didn’t say anything more about her past. She went to Mrs. Armadale to ask for money, claiming she was in distress. She got the money and left the house, firmly refusing to reveal her married name when asked.”
“You saw her yourself in the village. What was she like?”
“You saw her yourself in the village. What was she like?”
“She kept her veil down. I can’t tell you.”
“She kept her veil down. I can't tell you.”
“You can tell me what you did see?”
“You can tell me what you saw?”
“Certainly. I saw, as she approached me, that she moved very gracefully, that she had a beautiful figure, and that she was a little over the middle height. I noticed, when she asked me the way to Mrs. Armadale’s house, that her manner was the manner of a lady, and that the tone of her voice was remarkably soft and winning. Lastly, I remembered afterward that she wore a thick black veil, a black bonnet, a black silk dress, and a red Paisley shawl. I feel all the importance of your possessing some better means of identifying her than I can give you. But unhappily—”
“Of course. I noticed, as she came closer, that she moved with a lot of grace, had a lovely figure, and stood a little above average height. When she asked me how to get to Mrs. Armadale’s house, I could tell she carried herself like a lady, and her voice was incredibly soft and charming. Lastly, I remembered later that she was wearing a thick black veil, a black bonnet, a black silk dress, and a red Paisley shawl. I really understand how important it is for you to have better details to identify her than what I can provide. But unfortunately—”
He stopped. Midwinter was leaning eagerly across the table, and Midwinter’s hand was laid suddenly on his arm.
He stopped. Midwinter was leaning eagerly over the table, and Midwinter’s hand was suddenly on his arm.
“Is it possible that you know the woman?” asked Mr. Brock, surprised at the sudden change in his manner.
“Do you know the woman?” asked Mr. Brock, taken aback by his sudden change in attitude.
“No.”
“No.”
“What have I said, then, that has startled you so?”
“What did I say that surprised you so much?”
“Do you remember the woman who threw herself from the river steamer?” asked the other—“the woman who caused that succession of deaths which opened Allan Armadale’s way to the Thorpe Ambrose estate?”
“Do you remember the woman who jumped from the riverboat?” asked the other—“the woman who caused that series of deaths that cleared Allan Armadale’s path to the Thorpe Ambrose estate?”
“I remember the description of her in the police report,” answered the rector.
“I remember the description of her in the police report,” replied the rector.
“That woman,” pursued Midwinter, “moved gracefully, and had a beautiful figure. That woman wore a black veil, a black bonnet, a black silk gown, and a red Paisley shawl—” He stopped, released his hold of Mr. Brock’s arm, and abruptly resumed his chair. “Can it be the same?” he said to himself in a whisper. “Is there a fatality that follows men in the dark? And is it following us in that woman’s footsteps?”
“That woman,” Midwinter continued, “moved gracefully and had an amazing figure. That woman wore a black veil, a black bonnet, a black silk dress, and a red Paisley shawl—” He halted, let go of Mr. Brock’s arm, and suddenly returned to his chair. “Could it be the same?” he murmured to himself. “Is there a destiny that haunts men in the dark? And is it following us in that woman’s path?”
If the conjecture was right, the one event in the past which had appeared to be entirely disconnected with the events that had preceded it was, on the contrary, the one missing link which made the chain complete. Mr. Brock’s comfortable common sense instinctively denied that startling conclusion. He looked at Midwinter with a compassionate smile.
If the guess was correct, the one event in the past that seemed completely unrelated to what had happened before was actually the missing link that completed the chain. Mr. Brock’s practical common sense automatically rejected that shocking conclusion. He looked at Midwinter with a sympathetic smile.
“My young friend,” he said, kindly, “have you cleared your mind of all superstition as completely as you think? Is what you have just said worthy of the better resolution at which you arrived last night?”
“My young friend,” he said kindly, “have you really cleared your mind of all superstition as thoroughly as you think? Is what you just said in line with the better resolution you came to last night?”
Midwinter’s head drooped on his breast; the color rushed back over his face; he sighed bitterly.
Midwinter's head hung low on his chest; the color rushed back to his face; he sighed deeply.
“You are beginning to doubt my sincerity,” he said. “I can’t blame you.”
“You're starting to doubt my honesty,” he said. “I can’t blame you.”
“I believe in your sincerity as firmly as ever,” answered Mr. Brock. “I only doubt whether you have fortified the weak places in your nature as strongly as you yourself suppose. Many a man has lost the battle against himself far oftener than you have lost it yet, and has nevertheless won his victory in the end. I don’t blame you, I don’t distrust you. I only notice what has happened, to put you on your guard against yourself. Come! come! Let your own better sense help you; and you will agree with me that there is really no evidence to justify the suspicion that the woman whom I met in Somersetshire, and the woman who attempted suicide in London, are one and the same. Need an old man like me remind a young man like you that there are thousands of women in England with beautiful figures—thousands of women who are quietly dressed in black silk gowns and red Paisley shawls?”
“I believe in your honesty as strongly as ever,” Mr. Brock replied. “I just question whether you’ve strengthened the weaker parts of your character as much as you think. Many men have lost the battle against themselves far more often than you have so far, yet they’ve still achieved victory in the end. I’m not blaming you or doubting you. I’m just pointing out what’s happened to make you aware of your own tendencies. Come on! Let your better judgment guide you; you’ll see that there’s really no proof to support the idea that the woman I met in Somersetshire and the woman who tried to take her life in London are the same person. Does an old man like me really need to remind a young man like you that there are thousands of women in England with beautiful figures—thousands of women dressed modestly in black silk gowns and red Paisley shawls?”
Midwinter caught eagerly at the suggestion; too eagerly, as it might have occurred to a harder critic on humanity than Mr. Brock.
Midwinter jumped at the suggestion; maybe too eagerly, as a more critical observer of human nature than Mr. Brock might have noticed.
“You are quite right, sir,” he said, “and I am quite wrong. Tens of thousands of women answer the description, as you say. I have been wasting time on my own idle fancies, when I ought to have been carefully gathering up facts. If this woman ever attempts to find her way to Allan, I must be prepared to stop her.” He began searching restlessly among the manuscript leaves scattered about the table, paused over one of the pages, and examined it attentively. “This helps me to something positive,” he went on; “this helps me to a knowledge of her age. She was twelve at the time of Mrs. Armadale’s marriage; add a year, and bring her to thirteen; add Allan’s age (twenty-two), and we make her a woman of five-and-thirty at the present time. I know her age; and I know that she has her own reasons for being silent about her married life. This is something gained at the outset, and it may lead, in time, to something more.” He looked up brightly again at Mr. Brock. “Am I in the right way now, sir? Am I doing my best to profit by the caution which you have kindly given me?”
“You're absolutely right, sir,” he said, “and I was completely wrong. There are tens of thousands of women that fit your description. I’ve been wasting time on my own pointless ideas when I should have been gathering facts. If this woman ever tries to find her way to Allan, I need to be ready to stop her.” He started searching through the manuscript pages scattered across the table, paused over one page, and examined it closely. “This gives me something solid,” he continued; “this helps me figure out her age. She was twelve when Mrs. Armadale got married; add a year, and she’s thirteen; add Allan’s age (twenty-two), and she’s now a thirty-five-year-old woman. I know her age now, and I know she has her own reasons for keeping quiet about her marriage. This is progress, and it might lead to more down the line.” He looked up at Mr. Brock with renewed energy. “Am I on the right track now, sir? Am I doing my best to take the advice you’ve kindly given me?”
“You are vindicating your own better sense,” answered the rector, encouraging him to trample down his own imagination, with an Englishman’s ready distrust of the noblest of the human faculties. “You are paving the way for your own happier life.”
“You’re just proving your own better judgment,” replied the rector, encouraging him to push aside his own imagination, with an Englishman’s usual suspicion of the best of human abilities. “You’re creating a path for your own happier life.”
“Am I?” said the other, thoughtfully.
“Am I?” said the other, reflecting.
He searched among the papers once more, and stopped at another of the scattered pages.
He looked through the papers again and paused at another one of the scattered pages.
“The ship!” he exclaimed, suddenly, his color changing again, and his manner altering on the instant.
“The ship!” he exclaimed suddenly, his face going pale again and his attitude shifting instantly.
“What ship?” asked the rector.
“What ship?” the rector asked.
“The ship in which the deed was done,” Midwinter answered, with the first signs of impatience that he had shown yet. “The ship in which my father’s murderous hand turned the lock of the cabin door.”
“The ship where it all happened,” Midwinter replied, showing the first signs of impatience he had displayed so far. “The ship where my father’s murderous hand turned the lock on the cabin door.”
“What of it?” said Mr. Brock.
“What about it?” said Mr. Brock.
He appeared not to hear the question; his eyes remained fixed intently on the page that he was reading.
He seemed not to hear the question; his eyes stayed locked intently on the page he was reading.
“A French vessel, employed in the timber trade,” he said, still speaking to himself—“a French vessel, named La Grace de Dieu. If my father’s belief had been the right belief—if the fatality had been following me, step by step, from my father’s grave, in one or other of my voyages, I should have fallen in with that ship.” He looked up again at Mr. Brock. “I am quite sure about it now,” he said. “Those women are two, and not one.”
“A French ship, involved in the timber trade,” he said, still talking to himself—“a French ship named La Grace de Dieu. If my father’s belief had been correct—if fate had been shadowing me, step by step, from my father’s grave, on one of my voyages, I would have encountered that ship.” He glanced back at Mr. Brock. “I'm completely sure now,” he said. “Those women are two, not one.”
Mr. Brock shook his head.
Mr. Brock shook his head.
“I am glad you have come to that conclusion,” he said. “But I wish you had reached it in some other way.”
“I’m glad you’ve come to that conclusion,” he said. “But I wish you had gotten there in a different way.”
Midwinter started passionately to his feet, and, seizing on the pages of the manuscript with both hands, flung them into the empty fireplace.
Midwinter jumped up passionately, grabbed the pages of the manuscript with both hands, and tossed them into the empty fireplace.
“For God’s sake let me burn it!” he exclaimed. “As long as there is a page left, I shall read it. And, as long as I read it, my father gets the better of me, in spite of myself!”
“For God’s sake, let me burn it!” he shouted. “As long as there’s a page left, I’ll read it. And as long as I keep reading it, my father will have the upper hand over me, whether I like it or not!”
Mr. Brock pointed to the match-box. In another moment the confession was in flames. When the fire had consumed the last morsel of paper, Midwinter drew a deep breath of relief.
Mr. Brock pointed to the matchbox. In a moment, the confession was in flames. When the fire had burned the last bit of paper, Midwinter let out a deep sigh of relief.
“I may say, like Macbeth: ‘Why, so, being gone, I am a man again!’” he broke out with a feverish gayety. “You look fatigued, sir; and no wonder,” he added, in a lower tone. “I have kept you too long from your rest—I will keep you no longer. Depend on my remembering what you have told me; depend on my standing between Allan and any enemy, man or woman, who comes near him. Thank you, Mr. Brock; a thousand thousand times, thank you! I came into this room the most wretched of living men; I can leave it now as happy as the birds that are singing outside!”
“I can say, like Macbeth: ‘Well, now that it’s over, I feel like a man again!’” he exclaimed with a frenzied cheerfulness. “You look tired, sir; and it’s no surprise,” he added, in a quieter voice. “I’ve kept you from your rest for too long—I won’t do so any longer. You can count on me to remember everything you’ve told me; you can count on me to protect Allan from any enemy, whether man or woman, who comes near him. Thank you, Mr. Brock; a million times, thank you! I came into this room feeling like the most miserable man alive; I can leave it now as happy as the birds singing outside!”
As he turned to the door, the rays of the rising sun streamed through the window, and touched the heap of ashes lying black in the black fireplace. The sensitive imagination of Midwinter kindled instantly at the sight.
As he turned to the door, the rays of the rising sun poured through the window and illuminated the pile of ashes lying dark in the black fireplace. Midwinter's sensitive imagination sparked to life at the sight.
“Look!” he said, joyously. “The promise of the Future shining over the ashes of the Past!”
“Look!” he said, happily. “The promise of the future shining over the ashes of the past!”
An inexplicable pity for the man, at the moment of his life when he needed pity least, stole over the rector’s heart when the door had closed, and he was left by himself again.
An unexplainable pity for the man, at the point in his life when he needed pity the least, washed over the rector's heart when the door closed and he was alone again.
“Poor fellow!” he said, with an uneasy surprise at his own compassionate impulse. “Poor fellow!”
"Poor guy!" he said, with a startled surprise at his own urge to feel sympathy. "Poor guy!"
III. DAY AND NIGHT
The morning hours had passed; the noon had come and gone; and Mr. Brock had started on the first stage of his journey home.
The morning hours had passed; noon had come and gone; and Mr. Brock had started on the first leg of his journey home.
After parting from the rector in Douglas Harbor, the two young men had returned to Castletown, and had there separated at the hotel door, Allan walking down to the waterside to look after his yacht, and Midwinter entering the house to get the rest that he needed after a sleepless night.
After saying goodbye to the rector in Douglas Harbor, the two young men went back to Castletown and parted ways at the hotel entrance, with Allan heading down to the waterfront to check on his yacht, while Midwinter went inside to get the rest he needed after a sleepless night.
He darkened his room; he closed his eyes, but no sleep came to him. On this first day of the rector’s absence, his sensitive nature extravagantly exaggerated the responsibility which he now held in trust for Mr. Brock. A nervous dread of leaving Allan by himself, even for a few hours only, kept him waking and doubting, until it became a relief rather than a hardship to rise from the bed again, and, following in Allan’s footsteps, to take the way to the waterside which led to the yacht.
He dimmed the lights in his room and closed his eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come. On the first day of the rector’s absence, his sensitive nature made him overstate the responsibility he now had for Mr. Brock. A nervous fear of leaving Allan alone, even for just a few hours, kept him awake and anxious, until it felt more like a relief than a burden to get out of bed again and, following in Allan’s footsteps, head to the waterside that led to the yacht.
The repairs of the little vessel were nearly completed. It was a breezy, cheerful day; the land was bright, the water was blue, the quick waves leaped crisply in the sunshine, the men were singing at their work. Descending to the cabin, Midwinter discovered his friend busily occupied in attempting to set the place to rights. Habitually the least systematic of mortals, Allan now and then awoke to an overwhelming sense of the advantages of order, and on such occasions a perfect frenzy of tidiness possessed him. He was down on his knees, hotly and wildly at work, when Midwinter looked in on him; and was fast reducing the neat little world of the cabin to its original elements of chaos, with a misdirected energy wonderful to see.
The repairs on the small boat were almost finished. It was a breezy, sunny day; the land was bright, the water was blue, and the lively waves danced in the sunlight, while the men sang as they worked. When Midwinter went down to the cabin, he found his friend busy trying to tidy up the place. Usually the least organized person, Allan sometimes realized how great it was to have things in order, and during those times he would go into a complete frenzy of cleanliness. He was on his knees, intensely and chaotically working, when Midwinter checked on him; he was quickly turning the tidy little cabin back into a state of disarray with a wildly misguided energy that was impressive to watch.
“Here’s a mess!” said Allan, rising composedly on the horizon of his own accumulated litter. “Do you know, my dear fellow, I begin to wish I had let well alone!”
“Here’s a mess!” said Allan, calmly standing on the pile of his own clutter. “You know, my dear friend, I’m starting to wish I had just left things alone!”
Midwinter smiled, and came to his friend’s assistance with the natural neat-handedness of a sailor.
Midwinter smiled and helped his friend with the effortless skill of a sailor.
The first object that he encountered was Allan’s dressing-case, turned upside down, with half the contents scattered on the floor, and with a duster and a hearth-broom lying among them. Replacing the various objects which formed the furniture of the dressing-case one by one, Midwinter lighted unexpectedly on a miniature portrait, of the old-fashioned oval form, primly framed in a setting of small diamonds.
The first thing he came across was Allan's toiletry case, flipped over, with half of its contents spread out on the floor, and a dust cloth and a hearth broom lying among them. As Midwinter put the various items that made up the toiletry case back in place one by one, he unexpectedly found a miniature portrait, shaped like an old-fashioned oval, neatly framed with small diamonds.
“You don’t seem to set much value on this,” he said. “What is it?”
“You don’t seem to value this much,” he said. “What is it?”
Allan bent over him, and looked at the miniature. “It belonged to my mother,” he answered; “and I set the greatest value on it. It is a portrait of my father.”
Allan leaned over him and stared at the miniature. “It belonged to my mom,” he said, “and I value it greatly. It’s a portrait of my dad.”
Midwinter put the miniature abruptly, into Allan’s hands, and withdrew to the opposite side of the cabin.
Midwinter handed the miniature to Allan abruptly and moved to the other side of the cabin.
“You know best where the things ought to be put in your own dressing-case,” he said, keeping his back turned on Allan. “I’ll make the place tidy on this side of the cabin, and you shall make the place tidy on the other.”
“You know best where everything should go in your own suitcase,” he said, not facing Allan. “I’ll tidy up this side of the cabin, and you can tidy up the other side.”
He began setting in order the litter scattered about him on the cabin table and on the floor. But it seemed as if fate had decided that his friend’s personal possessions should fall into his hands that morning, employ them where he might. One among the first objects which he took up was Allan’s tobacco jar, with the stopper missing, and with a letter (which appeared by the bulk of it to contain inclosures) crumpled into the mouth of the jar in the stopper’s place.
He started to tidy up the mess around him on the cabin table and floor. But it felt like fate had decided that his friend’s belongings should end up in his hands that morning, for whatever use he might have for them. One of the first things he picked up was Allan’s tobacco jar, missing its stopper, with a letter (which looked like it contained additional papers) crumpled into the top of the jar instead of the stopper.
“Did you know that you had put this here?” he asked. “Is the letter of any importance?”
“Did you realize you put this here?” he asked. “Is the letter important?”
Allan recognized it instantly. It was the first of the little series of letters which had followed the cruising party to the Isle of Man—the letter which young Armadale had briefly referred to as bringing him “more worries from those everlasting lawyers,” and had then dismissed from further notice as recklessly as usual.
Allan recognized it right away. It was the first of the few letters that had followed the cruising group to the Isle of Man—the letter that young Armadale had mentioned briefly as bringing him "more troubles from those never-ending lawyers," and had then brushed off as carelessly as usual.
“This is what comes of being particularly careful,” said Allan; “here is an instance of my extreme thoughtfulness. You may not think it but I put the letter there on purpose. Every time I went to the jar, you know, I was sure to see the letter; and every time I saw the letter, I was sure to say to myself, ‘This must be answered.’ There’s nothing to laugh at; it was a perfectly sensible arrangement, if I could only have remembered where I put the jar. Suppose I tie a knot in my pocket-handkerchief this time? You have a wonderful memory, my dear fellow. Perhaps you’ll remind me in the course of the day, in case I forget the knot next.”
“This is what happens when you're overly careful,” Allan said. “Here's an example of my extreme thoughtfulness. You might not believe it, but I put the letter there on purpose. Every time I approached the jar, I made sure to see the letter; and every time I saw it, I reminded myself, ‘This needs a response.’ There's nothing funny about it; it was a perfectly reasonable plan, if only I could remember where I put the jar. How about I tie a knot in my pocket handkerchief this time? You have a fantastic memory, my friend. Maybe you can remind me later in the day, just in case I forget the knot.”
Midwinter saw his first chance, since Mr. Brock’s departure, of usefully filling Mr. Brock’s place.
Midwinter finally had his first opportunity to effectively take over Mr. Brock’s role since Mr. Brock left.
“Here is your writing-case,” he said; “why not answer the letter at once? If you put it away again, you may forget it again.”
“Here’s your writing case,” he said. “Why not answer the letter right now? If you put it away again, you might forget about it.”
“Very true,” returned Allan. “But the worst of it is, I can’t quite make up my mind what answer to write. I want a word of advice. Come and sit down here, and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“That's very true,” Allan replied. “But the worst part is, I can't quite decide what to write back. I need some advice. Come and sit down here, and I’ll tell you everything.”
With his loud boyish laugh—echoed by Midwinter, who caught the infection of his gayety—he swept a heap of miscellaneous incumbrances off the cabin sofa, and made room for his friend and himself to take their places. In the high flow of youthful spirits, the two sat down to their trifling consultation over a letter lost in a tobacco jar. It was a memorable moment to both of them, lightly as they thought of it at the time. Before they had risen again from their places, they had taken the first irrevocable step together on the dark and tortuous road of their future lives.
With his loud, boyish laugh—echoed by Midwinter, who couldn't help but catch his joy—he cleared a bunch of random stuff off the cabin sofa, making space for both of them to sit. In their youthful excitement, the two settled in for a lighthearted talk about a letter that had ended up in a tobacco jar. It was a significant moment for both of them, even though they didn't realize it at the time. Before they got up again, they had taken their first unchangeable step together down the difficult and winding path of their future lives.
Reduced to plain facts, the question on which Allan now required his friend’s advice may be stated as follows:
Reduced to plain facts, the question Allan now needed his friend's advice on can be stated like this:
While the various arrangements connected with the succession to Thorpe Ambrose were in progress of settlement, and while the new possessor of the estate was still in London, a question had necessarily arisen relating to the person who should be appointed to manage the property. The steward employed by the Blanchard family had written, without loss of time, to offer his services. Although a perfectly competent and trustworthy man, he failed to find favor in the eyes of the new proprietor. Acting, as usual, on his first impulses, and resolved, at all hazards, to install Midwinter as a permanent inmate at Thorpe Ambrose, Allan had determined that the steward’s place was the place exactly fitted for his friend, for the simple reason that it would necessarily oblige his friend to live with him on the estate. He had accordingly written to decline the proposal made to him without consulting Mr. Brock, whose disapproval he had good reason to fear; and without telling Midwinter, who would probably (if a chance were allowed him of choosing) have declined taking a situation which his previous training had by no means fitted him to fill.
While the different arrangements regarding the succession to Thorpe Ambrose were being settled, and while the new owner of the estate was still in London, a question arose about who should be appointed to manage the property. The steward employed by the Blanchard family quickly wrote to offer his services. Although he was a completely competent and trustworthy man, he didn’t win favor with the new owner. Acting on his usual instincts and determined, at all costs, to make Midwinter a permanent resident at Thorpe Ambrose, Allan decided that the steward’s position was the perfect job for his friend, simply because it would require Midwinter to live with him on the estate. He wrote to decline the proposal made to him without consulting Mr. Brock, whose disapproval he had good reason to worry about; and without informing Midwinter, who would probably have declined the job if he’d been given the chance to choose, as his previous training had not prepared him for that role.
Further correspondence had followed this decision, and had raised two new difficulties which looked a little embarrassing on the face of them, but which Allan, with the assistance of his lawyer, easily contrived to solve. The first difficulty, of examining the outgoing steward’s books, was settled by sending a professional accountant to Thorpe Ambrose; and the second difficulty, of putting the steward’s empty cottage to some profitable use (Allan’s plans for his friend comprehending Midwinter’s residence under his own roof), was met by placing the cottage on the list of an active house agent in the neighboring county town. In this state the arrangements had been left when Allan quitted London. He had heard and thought nothing more of the matter, until a letter from his lawyers had followed him to the Isle of Man, inclosing two proposals to occupy the cottage, both received on the same day, and requesting to hear, at his earliest convenience, which of the two he was prepared to accept.
Further correspondence had followed this decision and had raised two new issues that seemed a bit awkward at first, but Allan, with his lawyer's help, managed to resolve them easily. The first issue, which was reviewing the outgoing steward’s accounts, was handled by sending a professional accountant to Thorpe Ambrose. The second issue, figuring out a profitable use for the steward’s empty cottage (since Allan's plans involved having Midwinter live with him), was addressed by listing the cottage with an active real estate agent in the nearby county town. This is how things stood when Allan left London. He didn’t think much more about it until a letter from his lawyers reached him in the Isle of Man, enclosing two proposals to rent the cottage, both received on the same day, and asking him to let them know at his earliest convenience which one he wanted to accept.
Finding himself, after having conveniently forgotten the subject for some days past, placed face to face once more with the necessity for decision, Allan now put the two proposals into his friend’s hands, and, after a rambling explanation of the circumstances of the case, requested to be favored with a word of advice. Instead of examining the proposals, Midwinter unceremoniously put them aside, and asked the two very natural and very awkward questions of who the new steward was to be, and why he was to live in Allan’s house?
Finding himself, after conveniently forgetting about it for a few days, face to face again with the need to make a decision, Allan handed the two proposals to his friend and, after a long-winded explanation of the situation, asked for a bit of advice. Instead of looking over the proposals, Midwinter casually set them aside and asked two very natural but awkward questions: who the new steward was going to be and why he was going to live in Allan’s house?
“I’ll tell you who, and I’ll tell you why, when we get to Thorpe Ambrose,” said Allan. “In the meantime we’ll call the steward X. Y. Z., and we’ll say he lives with me, because I’m devilish sharp, and I mean to keep him under my own eye. You needn’t look surprised. I know the man thoroughly well; he requires a good deal of management. If I offered him the steward’s place beforehand, his modesty would get in his way, and he would say ‘No.’ If I pitch him into it neck and crop, without a word of warning and with nobody at hand to relieve him of the situation, he’ll have nothing for it but to consult my interests, and say ‘Yes.’ X. Y. Z. is not at all a bad fellow, I can tell you. You’ll see him when we go to Thorpe Ambrose; and I rather think you and he will get on uncommonly well together.”
“I’ll tell you who and why when we get to Thorpe Ambrose,” said Allan. “In the meantime, let’s call the steward X. Y. Z., and we’ll say he lives with me because I’m extremely clever, and I plan to keep a close eye on him. Don’t look so surprised. I know the guy really well; he needs a lot of management. If I offered him the steward’s position upfront, his modesty would get in the way, and he would say ‘No.’ If I throw him into it without any warning and with no one around to help him out, he’ll have no choice but to look out for my interests and say ‘Yes.’ X. Y. Z. is actually a decent guy, I can promise you. You’ll meet him when we go to Thorpe Ambrose, and I think you two will get along really well.”
The humorous twinkle in Allan’s eye, the sly significance in Allan’s voice, would have betrayed his secret to a prosperous man. Midwinter was as far from suspecting it as the carpenters who were at work above them on the deck of the yacht.
The playful spark in Allan’s eye and the clever hint in his voice would have given away his secret to a wealthy man. Midwinter was as far from suspecting it as the carpenters working above them on the deck of the yacht.
“Is there no steward now on the estate?” he asked, his face showing plainly that he was far from feeling satisfied with Allan’s answer. “Is the business neglected all this time?”
“Is there no manager on the estate now?” he asked, his expression clearly showing that he was far from satisfied with Allan’s answer. “Has the business been neglected all this time?”
“Nothing of the sort!” returned Allan. “The business is going with ‘a wet sheet and a flowing sea, and a wind that follows free.’ I’m not joking; I’m only metaphorical. A regular accountant has poked his nose into the books, and a steady-going lawyer’s clerk attends at the office once a week. That doesn’t look like neglect, does it? Leave the new steward alone for the present, and just tell me which of those two tenants you would take, if you were in my place.”
“Nothing like that!” replied Allan. “The business is running with ‘a wet sheet and a flowing sea, and a wind that follows free.’ I’m not kidding; I’m just being metaphorical. A regular accountant has checked the books, and a reliable lawyer’s assistant comes to the office once a week. That doesn’t seem like neglect, does it? Let the new steward handle things for now, and just tell me which of those two tenants you would choose if you were in my position.”
Midwinter opened the proposals, and read them attentively.
Midwinter opened the proposals and read them carefully.
The first proposal was from no less a person than the solicitor at Thorpe Ambrose, who had first informed Allan at Paris of the large fortune that had fallen into his hands. This gentleman wrote personally to say that he had long admired the cottage, which was charmingly situated within the limits of the Thorpe Ambrose grounds. He was a bachelor, of studious habits, desirous of retiring to a country seclusion after the wear and tear of his business hours; and he ventured to say that Mr. Armadale, in accepting him as a tenant, might count on securing an unobtrusive neighbor, and on putting the cottage into responsible and careful hands.
The first proposal came from none other than the solicitor at Thorpe Ambrose, who had originally informed Allan in Paris about the substantial fortune that had come his way. This gentleman wrote directly to express that he had long admired the cottage, which was beautifully located within the Thorpe Ambrose grounds. He was a bachelor with a studious nature, wanting to retreat to a quiet countryside after the grind of his work hours; he suggested that Mr. Armadale, by accepting him as a tenant, could expect to have a low-key neighbor and to place the cottage in responsible and careful hands.
The second proposal came through the house agent, and proceeded from a total stranger. The tenant who offered for the cottage, in this case, was a retired officer in the army—one Major Milroy. His family merely consisted of an invalid wife and an only child—a young lady. His references were unexceptionable; and he, too, was especially anxious to secure the cottage, as the perfect quiet of the situation was exactly what was required by Mrs. Milroy in her feeble state of health.
The second offer came through the real estate agent and was from a complete stranger. The person interested in the cottage this time was a retired army officer—Major Milroy. His family included only his sick wife and their only child—a young woman. His references were flawless, and he was also very eager to get the cottage since the peacefulness of the location was exactly what Mrs. Milroy needed given her fragile health.
“Well, which profession shall I favor?” asked Allan. “The army or the law?”
“Well, which career should I choose?” Allan asked. “The military or law?”
“There seems to me to be no doubt about it,” said Midwinter. “The lawyer has been already in correspondence with you; and the lawyer’s claim is, therefore, the claim to be preferred.”
“There’s no doubt about it,” said Midwinter. “The lawyer has already been in touch with you, and the lawyer’s claim is, therefore, the one that should be given priority.”
“I knew you would say that. In all the thousands of times I have asked other people for advice, I never yet got the advice I wanted. Here’s this business of letting the cottage as an instance. I’m all on the other side myself. I want to have the major.”
“I knew you would say that. In all the thousands of times I've asked other people for advice, I've never gotten the advice I wanted. Take this situation about renting the cottage as an example. I'm completely against it myself. I want to have the major.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
Young Armadale laid his forefinger on that part of the agent’s letter which enumerated Major Milroy’s family, and which contained the three words—“a young lady.”
Young Armadale placed his forefinger on the section of the agent's letter that listed Major Milroy's family and included the three words—“a young lady.”
“A bachelor of studious habits walking about my grounds,” said Allan, “is not an interesting object; a young lady is. I have not the least doubt Miss Milroy is a charming girl. Ozias Midwinter of the serious countenance! think of her pretty muslin dress flitting about among your trees and committing trespasses on your property; think of her adorable feet trotting into your fruit-garden, and her delicious fresh lips kissing your ripe peaches; think of her dimpled hands among your early violets, and her little cream-colored nose buried in your blush-roses. What does the studious bachelor offer me in exchange for the loss of all this? He offers me a rheumatic brown object in gaiters and a wig. No! no! Justice is good, my dear friend; but, believe me, Miss Milroy is better.”
“A bachelor who spends all his time studying walking around my property,” said Allan, “is not nearly as interesting as a young lady is. I have no doubt that Miss Milroy is a delightful girl. Ozias Midwinter with his serious expression! Just imagine her lovely muslin dress dancing around your trees and sneaking onto your land; picture her adorable feet wandering into your fruit garden, and her fresh lips kissing your ripe peaches; think of her dimpled hands among your early violets, and her little cream-colored nose buried in your blush roses. What does the studious bachelor offer me in exchange for missing out on all this? He offers me a stiff brown figure in gaiters and a wig. No! No! Justice is nice, my dear friend; but believe me, Miss Milroy is even better.”
“Can you be serious about any mortal thing, Allan?”
“Can you take anything seriously, Allan?”
“I’ll try to be, if you like. I know I ought to take the lawyer; but what can I do if the major’s daughter keeps running in my head?”
“I’ll try to be, if you want. I know I should get a lawyer; but what can I do if the major’s daughter keeps popping into my thoughts?”
Midwinter returned resolutely to the just and sensible view of the matter, and pressed it on his friend’s attention with all the persuasion of which he was master. After listening with exemplary patience until he had done, Allan swept a supplementary accumulation of litter off the cabin table, and produced from his waistcoat pocket a half-crown coin.
Midwinter confidently returned to the fair and reasonable perspective on the issue and urged his friend to consider it with all the persuasive skill he had. After listening with impressive patience until Midwinter finished, Allan cleared away some extra clutter from the cabin table and pulled a half-crown coin from his waistcoat pocket.
“I’ve got an entirely new idea,” he said. “Let’s leave it to chance.”
“I have a completely new idea,” he said. “Let’s leave it up to fate.”
The absurdity of the proposal—as coming from a landlord—was irresistible. Midwinter’s gravity deserted him.
The ridiculousness of the proposal—coming from a landlord—was too much to resist. Midwinter lost his serious demeanor.
“I’ll spin,” continued Allan, “and you shall call. We must give precedence to the army, of course; so we’ll say Heads, the major; Tails, the lawyer. One spin to decide. Now, then, look out!”
“I’ll spin,” Allan said, “and you can call it. We should give priority to the army, obviously; so we’ll say Heads for the major and Tails for the lawyer. One spin to decide. Alright, here we go!”
He spun the half-crown on the cabin table.
He spun the two-and-a-half-dollar coin on the cabin table.
“Tails!” cried Midwinter, humoring what he believed to be one of Allan’s boyish jokes.
“Tails!” shouted Midwinter, playing along with what he thought was one of Allan’s childish jokes.
The coin fell on the table with the Head uppermost.
The coin landed on the table with the Heads side facing up.
“You don’t mean to say you are really in earnest!” said Midwinter, as the other opened his writing-case and dipped his pen in the ink.
“You can’t be serious!” said Midwinter, as the other opened his writing case and dipped his pen in the ink.
“Oh, but I am, though!” replied Allan. “Chance is on my side, and Miss Milroy’s; and you’re outvoted, two to one. It’s no use arguing. The major has fallen uppermost, and the major shall have the cottage. I won’t leave it to the lawyers; they’ll only be worrying me with more letters. I’ll write myself.”
“Oh, but I really am!” replied Allan. “Luck is on my side and Miss Milroy’s; and you’re outvoted two to one. There’s no point in arguing. The major has come out on top, and the major will get the cottage. I’m not going to let the lawyers handle it; they’ll just keep sending me more letters. I’ll write it myself.”
He wrote his answers to the two proposals, literally in two minutes. One to the house agent: “Dear sir, I accept Major Milroy’s offer; let him come in when he pleases. Yours truly, Allan Armadale.” And one to the lawyer: “Dear sir, I regret that circumstances prevent me from accepting your proposal. Yours truly,” etc. “People make a fuss about letter-writing,” Allan remarked, when he had done. “I find it easy enough.”
He wrote his replies to the two proposals in just two minutes. One to the real estate agent: “Dear sir, I accept Major Milroy’s offer; he can come in whenever he likes. Sincerely, Allan Armadale.” And one to the lawyer: “Dear sir, I’m sorry, but circumstances prevent me from accepting your proposal. Sincerely,” etc. “People make a big deal about writing letters,” Allan said when he finished. “I find it pretty easy.”
He wrote the addresses on his two notes, and stamped them for the post, whistling gayly. While he had been writing, he had not noticed how his friend was occupied. When he had done, it struck him that a sudden silence had fallen on the cabin; and, looking up, he observed that Midwinter’s whole attention was strangely concentrated on the half crown as it lay head uppermost on the table. Allan suspended his whistling in astonishment.
He wrote the addresses on his two notes and stamped them for the mail, whistling cheerfully. While he was writing, he hadn’t noticed what his friend was doing. When he finished, he realized that an unexpected silence had fallen over the cabin; looking up, he saw that Midwinter’s complete attention was oddly focused on the half crown sitting face up on the table. Allan stopped whistling in surprise.
“What on earth are you doing?” he asked.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I was only wondering,” replied Midwinter.
“I was just wondering,” replied Midwinter.
“What about?” persisted Allan.
“What’s up?” persisted Allan.
“I was wondering,” said the other, handing him back the half-crown, “whether there is such a thing as chance.”
“I was wondering,” said the other, handing him back the half-crown, “if there’s really such a thing as chance.”
Half an hour later the two notes were posted; and Allan, whose close superintendence of the repairs of the yacht had hitherto allowed him but little leisure time on shore, had proposed to while away the idle hours by taking a walk in Castletown. Even Midwinter’s nervous anxiety to deserve Mr. Brock’s confidence in him could detect nothing objectionable in this harmless proposal, and the young men set forth together to see what they could make of the metropolis of the Isle of Man.
Half an hour later, the two notes were sent out, and Allan, who had been so focused on overseeing the yacht’s repairs that he barely had any free time on land, suggested spending the downtime by taking a walk in Castletown. Even Midwinter’s anxious desire to earn Mr. Brock’s trust found nothing wrong with this simple proposal, and the two young men set off together to explore what they could discover in the capital of the Isle of Man.
It is doubtful if there is a place on the habitable globe which, regarded as a sight-seeing investment offering itself to the spare attention of strangers, yields so small a percentage of interest in return as Castletown. Beginning with the waterside, there was an inner harbor to see, with a drawbridge to let vessels through; an outer harbor, ending in a dwarf lighthouse; a view of a flat coast to the right, and a view of a flat coast to the left. In the central solitudes of the city, there was a squat gray building called “the castle”; also a memorial pillar dedicated to one Governor Smelt, with a flat top for a statue, and no statue standing on it; also a barrack, holding the half-company of soldiers allotted to the island, and exhibiting one spirit-broken sentry at its lonely door. The prevalent color of the town was faint gray. The few shops open were parted at frequent intervals by other shops closed and deserted in despair. The weary lounging of boatmen on shore was trebly weary here; the youth of the district smoked together in speechless depression under the lee of a dead wall; the ragged children said mechanically: “Give us a penny,” and before the charitable hand could search the merciful pocket, lapsed away again in misanthropic doubt of the human nature they addressed. The silence of the grave overflowed the churchyard, and filled this miserable town. But one edifice, prosperous to look at, rose consolatory in the desolation of these dreadful streets. Frequented by the students of the neighboring “College of King William,” this building was naturally dedicated to the uses of a pastry-cook’s shop. Here, at least (viewed through the friendly medium of the window), there was something going on for a stranger to see; for here, on high stools, the pupils of the college sat, with swinging legs and slowly moving jaws, and, hushed in the horrid stillness of Castletown, gorged their pastry gravely, in an atmosphere of awful silence.
It’s hard to find a place on Earth that, as a sightseeing destination appealing to visitors, offers such little return on interest as Castletown. Starting at the waterfront, there was an inner harbor with a drawbridge for boats to pass through; an outer harbor that ended at a short lighthouse; flat coastline views on both the right and left sides. In the city's quiet center, there was a squat gray building known as “the castle”; a memorial pillar dedicated to Governor Smelt, topped with a flat surface meant for a statue, though there was no statue there; and a barrack housing a small group of soldiers assigned to the island, featuring one worn-out sentry at its lonely entrance. The town’s dominant color was a pale gray. The few shops that were open were separated by closed and abandoned shops, left in despair. The boatmen lounging on the shore looked especially exhausted here; the local youth sat together in silent gloom under a barren wall; the ragged children mechanically said, “Give us a penny,” but as soon as a charitable hand started to reach for a coin, they retreated into a cynical doubt of the kindness of the people they approached. An overwhelming silence filled the churchyard and enveloped this miserable town. But one building stood out, looking prosperous and providing some comfort in the desolation of these dreary streets. Used by the students of the nearby "College of King William," this building was, fittingly, a pastry shop. At least here (seen through the friendly lens of the window), there was something for strangers to watch; the college students, perched on high stools with swinging legs and slowly moving jaws, quietly indulged in their pastries, creating an eerie atmosphere of profound silence in Castletown.
“Hang me if I can look any longer at the boys and the tarts!” said Allan, dragging his friend away from the pastry-cook’s shop. “Let’s try if we can’t find something else to amuse us in the next street.”
“Hang me if I can look any longer at the guys and the pastries!” said Allan, dragging his friend away from the bakery. “Let’s see if we can find something else to entertain us on the next street.”
The first amusing object which the next street presented was a carver-and-gilder’s shop, expiring feebly in the last stage of commercial decay. The counter inside displayed nothing to view but the recumbent head of a boy, peacefully asleep in the unbroken solitude of the place. In the window were exhibited to the passing stranger three forlorn little fly-spotted frames; a small posting-bill, dusty with long-continued neglect, announcing that the premises were to let; and one colored print, the last of a series illustrating the horrors of drunkenness, on the fiercest temperance principles. The composition—representing an empty bottle of gin, an immensely spacious garret, a perpendicular Scripture reader, and a horizontal expiring family—appealed to public favor, under the entirely unobjectionable title of “The Hand of Death.” Allan’s resolution to extract amusement from Castletown by main force had resisted a great deal, but it failed him at this stage of the investigations. He suggested trying an excursion to some other place. Midwinter readily agreeing, they went back to the hotel to make inquiries.
The first funny thing that caught their attention on the next street was a carver-and-gilder’s shop, barely hanging on in its final stages of decline. Inside, the counter showed nothing but a boy's head, sleeping peacefully in the empty space. In the window, there were three sad, fly-specked frames; a small, dusty posting that said the place was up for rent; and a colored print, the last of a series depicting the horrors of drinking, with a strong temperance message. The scene—featuring an empty gin bottle, a huge attic, a standing Bible reader, and a horizontal, dying family—reached out to the public under the completely harmless title of “The Hand of Death.” Allan’s determination to find something amusing in Castletown had held up for a while, but now it was wearing thin. He suggested they check out another place. Midwinter quickly agreed, and they headed back to the hotel to ask for more information.
Thanks to the mixed influence of Allan’s ready gift of familiarity, and total want of method in putting his questions, a perfect deluge of information flowed in on the two strangers, relating to every subject but the subject which had actually brought them to the hotel. They made various interesting discoveries in connection with the laws and constitution of the Isle of Man, and the manners and customs of the natives. To Allan’s delight, the Manxmen spoke of England as of a well-known adjacent island, situated at a certain distance from the central empire of the Isle of Man. It was further revealed to the two Englishmen that this happy little nation rejoiced in laws of its own, publicly proclaimed once a year by the governor and the two head judges, grouped together on the top of an ancient mound, in fancy costumes appropriate to the occasion. Possessing this enviable institution, the island added to it the inestimable blessing of a local parliament, called the House of Keys, an assembly far in advance of the other parliament belonging to the neighboring island, in this respect—that the members dispensed with the people, and solemnly elected each other. With these and many more local particulars, extracted from all sorts and conditions of men in and about the hotel, Allan whiled away the weary time in his own essentially desultory manner, until the gossip died out of itself, and Midwinter (who had been speaking apart with the landlord) quietly recalled him to the matter in hand. The finest coast scenery in the island was said to be to the westward and the southward, and there was a fishing town in those regions called Port St. Mary, with a hotel at which travelers could sleep. If Allan’s impressions of Castletown still inclined him to try an excursion to some other place, he had only to say so, and a carriage would be produced immediately. Allan jumped at the proposal, and in ten minutes more he and Midwinter were on their way to the western wilds of the island.
Thanks to Allan's natural ability to connect with people and his complete lack of organization in asking questions, an overwhelming amount of information poured in on the two strangers, covering every topic except the one that had actually brought them to the hotel. They made several interesting discoveries about the laws and constitution of the Isle of Man, as well as the customs and traditions of the locals. To Allan's amusement, the Manxmen referred to England as a well-known nearby island, located a certain distance from the central hub of the Isle of Man. The two Englishmen also learned that this charming little nation had its own laws, announced once a year by the governor and the two chief judges, who gathered on top of an ancient mound in special costumes for the event. Along with this fortunate tradition, the island also boasted a local parliament called the House of Keys, an assembly that was far ahead of the neighboring island's parliament because its members elected each other instead of involving the public. With these and many more local details gathered from various people in and around the hotel, Allan passed the time in his typically aimless way until the chatter naturally fizzled out and Midwinter (who had been speaking privately with the landlord) gently brought him back to the main topic. They said the most beautiful coastal scenery on the island was to the west and south, and there was a fishing village in those areas called Port St. Mary, which had a hotel where travelers could stay. If Allan still felt inclined to explore another location instead of Castletown, all he had to do was mention it, and a carriage would be ready in no time. Allan eagerly agreed to the idea, and within ten minutes, he and Midwinter were on their way to the island's western wilderness.
With trifling incidents, the day of Mr. Brock’s departure had worn on thus far. With trifling incidents, in which not even Midwinter’s nervous watchfulness could see anything to distrust, it was still to proceed, until the night came—a night which one at least of the two companions was destined to remember to the end of his life.
With minor events, Mr. Brock’s departure day had gone on like this so far. With minor events, in which even Midwinter’s anxious vigilance couldn’t find anything to be suspicious about, it would continue until night fell—a night that at least one of the two companions was set to remember for the rest of his life.
Before the travelers had advanced two miles on their road, an accident happened. The horse fell, and the driver reported that the animal had seriously injured himself. There was no alternative but to send for another carriage to Castletown, or to get on to Port St. Mary on foot.
Before the travelers had gone two miles on their journey, an accident occurred. The horse fell, and the driver stated that the animal had badly hurt itself. There was no choice but to either call for another carriage to Castletown or walk to Port St. Mary.
Deciding to walk, Midwinter and Allan had not gone far before they were overtaken by a gentleman driving alone in an open chaise. He civilly introduced himself as a medical man, living close to Port St. Mary, and offered seats in his carriage. Always ready to make new acquaintances, Allan at once accepted the proposal. He and the doctor (whose name was ascertained to be Hawbury) became friendly and familiar before they had been five minutes in the chaise together; Midwinter, sitting behind them, reserved and silent, on the back seat. They separated just outside Port St. Mary, before Mr. Hawbury’s house, Allan boisterously admiring the doctor’s neat French windows and pretty flower-garden and lawn, and wringing his hand at parting as if they had known each other from boyhood upward. Arrived in Port St. Mary, the two friends found themselves in a second Castletown on a smaller scale. But the country round, wild, open, and hilly, deserved its reputation. A walk brought them well enough on with the day—still the harmless, idle day that it had been from the first—to see the evening near at hand. After waiting a little to admire the sun, setting grandly over hill, and heath, and crag, and talking, while they waited, of Mr. Brock and his long journey home, they returned to the hotel to order their early supper. Nearer and nearer the night, and the adventure which the night was to bring with it, came to the two friends; and still the only incidents that happened were incidents to be laughed at, if they were noticed at all. The supper was badly cooked; the waiting-maid was impenetrably stupid; the old-fashioned bell-rope in the coffee-room had come down in Allan’s hands, and, striking in its descent a painted china shepherdess on the chimney-piece, had laid the figure in fragments on the floor. Events as trifling as these were still the only events that had happened, when the twilight faded, and the lighted candles were brought into the room.
Deciding to walk, Midwinter and Allan hadn't gone far before they were passed by a gentleman driving alone in an open carriage. He politely introduced himself as a doctor living near Port St. Mary and offered them seats in his carriage. Always eager to meet new people, Allan quickly accepted. He and the doctor, whose name turned out to be Hawbury, became friendly and familiar within just five minutes in the carriage, while Midwinter sat quietly behind them on the back seat. They separated just outside Port St. Mary, in front of Mr. Hawbury’s house, with Allan enthusiastically admiring the doctor’s tidy French windows and beautiful flower garden and lawn, shaking his hand at parting as if they had been friends since childhood. Once they arrived in Port St. Mary, the two friends found themselves in a smaller version of Castletown. However, the surrounding countryside, wild, open, and hilly, lived up to its reputation. A walk brought them along nicely throughout the day—still the harmless, leisurely day it had been from the start—until evening approached. After waiting a bit to admire the sun setting spectacularly over the hills, heath, and cliffs, and discussing Mr. Brock and his long journey home while they waited, they returned to the hotel to order an early dinner. Night was drawing closer, along with the adventure it promised, but still, the only things that happened were laughable incidents, if they were noticed at all. The dinner was poorly cooked; the waiting maid was frustratingly dense; the old-fashioned bell rope in the coffee room came down in Allan's hands, hitting a painted china shepherdess on the mantelpiece and shattering it on the floor. Events as trivial as these were still the only things that had occurred when twilight faded and lit candles were brought into the room.
Finding Midwinter, after the double fatigue of a sleepless night and a restless day, but little inclined for conversation, Allan left him resting on the sofa, and lounged into the passage of the hotel, on the chance of discovering somebody to talk to. Here another of the trivial incidents of the day brought Allan and Mr. Hawbury together again, and helped—whether happily or not, yet remained to be seen—to strengthen the acquaintance between them on either side.
Finding Midwinter, after the exhaustion of a sleepless night and a restless day, and not really up for a chat, Allan left him resting on the sofa and wandered into the hotel hallway, hoping to find someone to talk to. There, another minor incident of the day brought Allan and Mr. Hawbury together again, which—whether it turned out well or not—would help to strengthen their acquaintance on both sides.
The “bar” of the hotel was situated at one end of the passage, and the landlady was in attendance there, mixing a glass of liquor for the doctor, who had just looked in for a little gossip. On Allan’s asking permission to make a third in the drinking and the gossiping, Mr. Hawbury civilly handed him the glass which the landlady had just filled. It contained cold brandy-and-water. A marked change in Allan’s face, as he suddenly drew back and asked for whisky instead, caught the doctor’s medical eye. “A case of nervous antipathy,” said Mr. Hawbury, quietly taking the glass away again. The remark obliged Allan to acknowledge that he had an insurmountable loathing (which he was foolish enough to be a little ashamed of mentioning) to the smell and taste of brandy. No matter with what diluting liquid the spirit was mixed, the presence of it, instantly detected by his organs of taste and smell, turned him sick and faint if the drink touched his lips. Starting from this personal confession, the talk turned on antipathies in general; and the doctor acknowledged, on his side, that he took a professional interest in the subject, and that he possessed a collection of curious cases at home, which his new acquaintance was welcome to look at, if Allan had nothing else to do that evening, and if he would call, when the medical work of the day was over, in an hour’s time.
The hotel’s bar was located at one end of the hallway, and the landlady was there, pouring a drink for the doctor, who had just stopped by for some casual conversation. When Allan asked if he could join in the drinking and chatting, Mr. Hawbury politely handed him the glass the landlady had just filled. It had cold brandy and water in it. Allan’s face changed noticeably as he pulled back and requested whisky instead, which drew the doctor’s attention. “A case of nervous aversion,” said Mr. Hawbury, calmly taking the glass away again. This comment forced Allan to admit that he had an overwhelming dislike (which he was a bit embarrassed to mention) for the smell and taste of brandy. No matter what it was mixed with, the presence of it, immediately picked up by his taste and smell, made him feel sick and weak when it touched his lips. This personal confession led to a conversation about dislikes in general; the doctor shared that he found the topic professionally interesting and had a collection of unusual cases at home. He invited Allan to take a look if he had nothing else planned for the evening and if he could drop by after finishing his medical duties in about an hour.
Cordially accepting the invitation (which was extended to Midwinter also, if he cared to profit by it), Allan returned to the coffee-room to look after his friend. Half asleep and half awake, Midwinter was still stretched on the sofa, with the local newspaper just dropping out of his languid hand.
Cordially accepting the invitation (which was also offered to Midwinter, if he wanted to take advantage of it), Allan went back to the coffee room to check on his friend. Midwinter, half asleep and half awake, was still lying on the sofa, with the local newspaper just falling out of his relaxed hand.
“I heard your voice in the passage,” he said, drowsily. “Whom were you talking to?”
“I heard your voice in the hallway,” he said, sleepily. “Who were you talking to?”
“The doctor,” replied Allan. “I am going to smoke a cigar with him, in an hour’s time. Will you come too?”
“The doctor,” Allan replied. “I’m going to smoke a cigar with him in an hour. Want to join us?”
Midwinter assented with a weary sigh. Always shyly unwilling to make new acquaintances, fatigue increased the reluctance he now felt to become Mr. Hawbury’s guest. As matters stood, however, there was no alternative but to go; for, with Allan’s constitutional imprudence, there was no safely trusting him alone anywhere, and more especially in a stranger’s house. Mr. Brock would certainly not have left his pupil to visit the doctor alone; and Midwinter was still nervously conscious that he occupied Mr. Brock’s place.
Midwinter agreed with a tired sigh. Always a bit shy about meeting new people, his exhaustion made him even more hesitant to become Mr. Hawbury’s guest. However, given the circumstances, he had no choice but to go; he couldn't trust Allan to be alone anywhere, especially not in someone else's house, due to his usual recklessness. Mr. Brock definitely wouldn't have allowed his student to visit the doctor by himself, and Midwinter remained acutely aware that he was filling in for Mr. Brock.
“What shall we do till it’s time to go?” asked Allan, looking about him. “Anything in this?” he added, observing the fallen newspaper, and picking it up from the floor.
“What should we do until it’s time to leave?” Allan asked, glancing around. “Is there anything in this?” he said, noticing the fallen newspaper and picking it up from the floor.
“I’m too tired to look. If you find anything interesting, read it out,” said Midwinter, thinking that the reading might help to keep him awake.
“I’m too tired to check. If you find something interesting, read it out,” said Midwinter, hoping that listening might help him stay awake.
Part of the newspaper, and no small part of it, was devoted to extracts from books recently published in London. One of the works most largely laid under contribution in this manner was of the sort to interest Allan: it was a highly spiced narrative of Traveling Adventures in the wilds of Australia. Pouncing on an extract which described the sufferings of the traveling-party, lost in a trackless wilderness, and in danger of dying by thirst, Allan announced that he had found something to make his friend’s flesh creep, and began eagerly to read the passage aloud.
Part of the newspaper, and a significant part of it, was dedicated to excerpts from books recently published in London. One of the works that caught Allan's attention was a thrilling account of adventure travel in the wilds of Australia. Finding an excerpt that described the struggles of a traveling group lost in an endless wilderness and facing the threat of dehydration, Allan declared he had found something that would send shivers down his friend's spine, and he began eagerly reading the passage out loud.
Resolute not to sleep, Midwinter followed the progress of the adventure, sentence by sentence, without missing a word. The consultation of the lost travelers, with death by thirst staring them in the face; the resolution to press on while their strength lasted; the fall of a heavy shower, the vain efforts made to catch the rainwater, the transient relief experienced by sucking their wet clothes; the sufferings renewed a few hours after; the night advance of the strongest of the party, leaving the weakest behind; the following a flight of birds when morning dawned; the discovery by the lost men of the broad pool of water that saved their lives—all this Midwinter’s fast-failing attention mastered painfully, Allan’s voice growing fainter and fainter on his ear with every sentence that was read. Soon the next words seemed to drop away gently, and nothing but the slowly sinking sound of the voice was left. Then the light in the room darkened gradually, the sound dwindled into delicious silence, and the last waking impressions of the weary Midwinter came peacefully to an end.
Determined not to sleep, Midwinter tracked the adventure's progress, sentence by sentence, without missing a word. The discussion among the lost travelers, facing death from thirst; their decision to keep going while they had the strength; the heavy rain that fell, the fruitless attempts to catch rainwater, the brief relief from sucking on their wet clothes; the renewed suffering a few hours later; the night-time departure of the strongest group members, leaving the weakest behind; following a flock of birds at dawn; the discovery by the lost men of the wide pool of water that saved their lives—all of this wore down Midwinter’s already fading focus, Allan’s voice growing fainter and fainter in his ear with each word that was read. Soon, the next words seemed to drift away softly, and only the slowly diminishing sound of the voice remained. Then the light in the room gradually faded, the sound dwindled into blissful silence, and the last conscious impressions of the exhausted Midwinter came to a peaceful end.
The next event of which he was conscious was a sharp ringing at the closed door of the hotel. He started to his feet, with the ready alacrity of a man whose life has accustomed him to wake at the shortest notice. An instant’s look round showed him that the room was empty, and a glance at his watch told him that it was close on midnight. The noise made by the sleepy servant in opening the door, and the tread the next moment of quick footsteps in the passage, filled him with a sudden foreboding of something wrong. As he hurriedly stepped forward to go out and make inquiry, the door of the coffee-room opened, and the doctor stood before him.
The next thing he noticed was the sharp ringing of the hotel doorbell. He jumped to his feet, easily, like someone used to waking up at a moment's notice. A quick look around confirmed that the room was empty, and a glance at his watch revealed it was almost midnight. The noise of the sleepy servant opening the door and the sound of quick footsteps in the hallway filled him with a sudden sense that something was off. As he hurried to step out and ask what was going on, the door to the coffee room opened, and the doctor appeared in front of him.
“I am sorry to disturb you,” said Mr. Hawbury. “Don’t be alarmed; there’s nothing wrong.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt you,” said Mr. Hawbury. “Don’t worry; everything is fine.”
“Where is my friend?” asked Midwinter.
“Where's my friend?” asked Midwinter.
“At the pier head,” answered the doctor. “I am, to a certain extent, responsible for what he is doing now; and I think some careful person, like yourself, ought to be with him.”
“At the pier head,” the doctor replied. “I’m partly responsible for what he's doing now, and I believe someone careful, like you, should be with him.”
The hint was enough for Midwinter. He and the doctor set out for the pier immediately, Mr. Hawbury mentioning on the way the circumstances under which he had come to the hotel.
The hint was enough for Midwinter. He and the doctor headed to the pier right away, with Mr. Hawbury sharing the details about how he ended up at the hotel along the way.
Punctual to the appointed hour Allan had made his appearance at the doctor’s house, explaining that he had left his weary friend so fast asleep on the sofa that he had not had the heart to wake him. The evening had passed pleasantly, and the conversation had turned on many subjects, until, in an evil hour, Mr. Hawbury had dropped a hint which showed that he was fond of sailing, and that he possessed a pleasure-boat of his own in the harbor. Excited on the instant by his favorite topic, Allan had left his host no hospitable alternative but to take him to the pier head and show him the boat. The beauty of the night and the softness of the breeze had done the rest of the mischief; they had filled Allan with irresistible longings for a sail by moonlight. Prevented from accompanying his guest by professional hindrances which obliged him to remain on shore, the doctor, not knowing what else to do, had ventured on disturbing Midwinter, rather than take the responsibility of allowing Mr. Armadale (no matter how well he might be accustomed to the sea) to set off on a sailing trip at midnight entirely by himself.
On time, Allan showed up at the doctor’s house and explained that he had left his exhausted friend fast asleep on the sofa and couldn’t bring himself to wake him. The evening had been enjoyable, and they had discussed various topics until, at a bad moment, Mr. Hawbury casually mentioned that he loved sailing and owned a pleasure boat in the harbor. Instantly sparked by this favorite subject, Allan left his host with no choice but to take him to the pier and show him the boat. The lovely night and gentle breeze only added to Allan’s overwhelming desire for a moonlit sail. Unable to join his guest due to professional obligations that kept him on shore, the doctor, not knowing what else to do, decided to disturb Midwinter instead of allowing Mr. Armadale (no matter how experienced he might be) to head out sailing alone at midnight.
The time taken to make this explanation brought Midwinter and the doctor to the pier head. There, sure enough, was young Armadale in the boat, hoisting the sail, and singing the sailor’s “Yo-heave-ho!” at the top of his voice.
The time it took to explain this brought Midwinter and the doctor to the pier. There, sure enough, was young Armadale in the boat, raising the sail and singing the sailor's "Yo-heave-ho!" at the top of his lungs.
“Come along, old boy!” cried Allan. “You’re just in time for a frolic by moonlight!”
“Come on, buddy!” shouted Allan. “You’re just in time for some fun under the moonlight!”
Midwinter suggested a frolic by daylight, and an adjournment to bed in the meantime.
Midwinter suggested having some fun during the day and then going to bed in the meantime.
“Bed!” cried Allan, on whose harum-scarum high spirits Mr. Hawbury’s hospitality had certainly not produced a sedative effect. “Hear him, doctor! one would think he was ninety! Bed, you drowsy old dormouse! Look at that, and think of bed if you can!”
“Bed!” shouted Allan, whose wild energy Mr. Hawbury’s hospitality definitely hadn’t calmed down. “Listen to him, doctor! You’d think he was ninety! Bed, you sleepy old dormouse! Look at that, and try to think of bed if you can!”
He pointed to the sea. The moon was shining in the cloudless heaven; the night-breeze blew soft and steady from the land; the peaceful waters rippled joyfully in the silence and the glory of the night. Midwinter turned to the doctor with a wise resignation to circumstances: he had seen enough to satisfy him that all words of remonstrance would be words simply thrown away.
He pointed to the sea. The moon was shining in the clear sky; the night breeze blew gently and steadily from the land; the calm waters rippled happily in the stillness and beauty of the night. Midwinter turned to the doctor with a wise acceptance of the situation: he had seen enough to know that any words of protest would be completely pointless.
“How is the tide?” he asked.
“How's the tide?” he asked.
Mr. Hawbury told him.
Mr. Hawbury informed him.
“Are there oars in the boat?”
“Are there oars in the boat?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“I am well used to the sea,” said Midwinter, descending the pier steps. “You may trust me to take care of my friend, and to take care of the boat.”
“I’m pretty familiar with the sea,” said Midwinter, walking down the pier steps. “You can count on me to look after my friend and to handle the boat.”
“Good-night, doctor!” shouted Allan. “Your whisky-and-water is delicious—your boat’s a little beauty—and you’re the best fellow I ever met in my life!”
“Good night, doctor!” yelled Allan. “Your whisky and water is amazing—your boat is a real charmer—and you’re the best guy I’ve ever met in my life!”
The doctor laughed and waved his hand, and the boat glided out from the harbor, with Midwinter at the helm.
The doctor laughed and waved his hand, and the boat smoothly pulled away from the harbor, with Midwinter steering.
As the breeze then blew, they were soon abreast of the westward headland, bounding the Bay of Poolvash, and the question was started whether they should run out to sea or keep along the shore. The wisest proceeding, in the event of the wind failing them, was to keep by the land. Midwinter altered the course of the boat, and they sailed on smoothly in a south-westerly direction, abreast of the coast.
As the breeze picked up, they soon found themselves alongside the westward headland, which bordered the Bay of Poolvash, and the discussion began about whether they should head out to sea or stay close to the shore. The smartest choice, in case the wind died down, was to stay by the land. Midwinter changed the boat's direction, and they continued sailing smoothly southwest, parallel to the coast.
Little by little the cliffs rose in height, and the rocks, massed wild and jagged, showed rifted black chasms yawning deep in their seaward sides. Off the bold promontory called Spanish Head, Midwinter looked ominously at his watch. But Allan pleaded hard for half an hour more, and for a glance at the famous channel of the Sound, which they were now fast nearing, and of which he had heard some startling stories from the workmen employed on his yacht. The new change which Midwinter’s compliance with this request rendered it necessary to make in the course of the boat brought her close to the wind; and revealed, on one side, the grand view of the southernmost shores of the Isle of Man, and, on the other, the black precipices of the islet called the Calf, separated from the mainland by the dark and dangerous channel of the Sound.
Slowly, the cliffs grew taller, and the rocks, wild and jagged, revealed deep black chasms gaping in their seaward sides. From the prominent headland known as Spanish Head, Midwinter anxiously checked his watch. But Allan insisted on another half hour and a look at the famous channel of the Sound, which they were quickly approaching, and of which he had heard some shocking stories from the workers on his yacht. Midwinter's agreement to this request required a change in the boat's course that brought them closer to the wind, revealing, on one side, the stunning view of the southern shores of the Isle of Man, and on the other, the dark cliffs of the islet called the Calf, separated from the mainland by the treacherous channel of the Sound.
Once more Midwinter looked at his watch. “We have gone far enough,” he said. “Stand by the sheet!”
Once again, Midwinter checked his watch. “We've gone far enough,” he said. “Get ready by the sheet!”
“Stop!” cried Allan, from the bows of the boat. “Good God! here’s a wrecked ship right ahead of us!”
“Stop!” shouted Allan from the front of the boat. “Oh my God! There’s a wrecked ship right in front of us!”
Midwinter let the boat fall off a little, and looked where the other pointed.
Midwinter let the boat drift a bit and looked in the direction the other person was pointing.
There, stranded midway between the rocky boundaries on either side of the Sound—there, never again to rise on the living waters from her grave on the sunken rock; lost and lonely in the quiet night; high, and dark, and ghostly in the yellow moonshine, lay the Wrecked Ship.
There, stuck in the middle of the rocky shores on both sides of the Sound—there, never to float on the living waters again from her resting place on the submerged rock; lost and alone in the still night; high, dark, and eerie in the yellow moonlight, lay the Wrecked Ship.
“I know the vessel,” said Allan, in great excitement. “I heard my workmen talking of her yesterday. She drifted in here, on a pitch-dark night, when they couldn’t see the lights; a poor old worn-out merchantman, Midwinter, that the ship-brokers have bought to break up. Let’s run in and have a look at her.”
“I know that ship,” Allan said excitedly. “I heard my workers talking about her yesterday. She came in here on a pitch-black night when they couldn’t see the lights; a poor old worn-out merchant ship, Midwinter, that the ship-brokers bought to scrap. Let’s go check her out.”
Midwinter hesitated. All the old sympathies of his sea-life strongly inclined him to follow Allan’s suggestion; but the wind was falling light, and he distrusted the broken water and the swirling currents of the channel ahead. “This is an ugly place to take a boat into when you know nothing about it,” he said.
Midwinter hesitated. All the familiar connections from his life at sea strongly urged him to follow Allan’s suggestion; however, the wind was dying down, and he didn't trust the choppy water and the swirling currents of the channel ahead. “This is a risky spot to take a boat into when you know nothing about it,” he said.
“Nonsense!” returned Allan. “It’s as light as day, and we float in two feet of water.”
“Nonsense!” Allan replied. “It’s as clear as day, and we’re floating in two feet of water.”
Before Midwinter could answer, the current caught the boat, and swept them onward through the channel straight toward the wreck.
Before Midwinter could respond, the current grabbed the boat and pulled them forward through the channel straight toward the wreck.
“Lower the sail,” said Midwinter, quietly, “and ship the oars. We are running down on her fast enough now, whether we like it or not.”
“Lower the sail,” said Midwinter softly, “and put away the oars. We’re getting close to her quickly now, whether we want to or not.”
Both well accustomed to the use of the oar, they brought the course of the boat under sufficient control to keep her on the smoothest side of the channel—the side which was nearest to the Islet of the Calf. As they came swiftly up with the wreck, Midwinter resigned his oar to Allan; and, watching his opportunity, caught a hold with the boat-hook on the fore-chains of the vessel. The next moment they had the boat safely in hand, under the lee of the wreck.
Both well-used to handling the oar, they managed to steer the boat enough to stay on the calmer side of the channel—the side closest to the Islet of the Calf. As they quickly approached the wreck, Midwinter passed his oar to Allan; and, seizing his chance, grabbed hold of the fore-chains of the vessel with the boat-hook. In the next moment, they had the boat safely secured under the shelter of the wreck.
The ship’s ladder used by the workmen hung over the fore-chains. Mounting it, with the boat’s rope in his teeth, Midwinter secured one end, and lowered the other to Allan in the boat. “Make that fast,” he said, “and wait till I see if it’s all safe on board.” With those words, he disappeared behind the bulwark.
The ladder used by the workers hung over the front chains. Climbing it, with the boat’s rope in his mouth, Midwinter secured one end and lowered the other to Allan in the boat. “Tie that off,” he said, “and wait until I check if everything’s okay on board.” With that, he disappeared behind the railing.
“Wait?” repeated Allan, in the blankest astonishment at his friend’s excessive caution. “What on earth does he mean? I’ll be hanged if I wait. Where one of us goes, the other goes too!”
“Wait?” repeated Allan, in the utmost disbelief at his friend’s excessive caution. “What on earth does he mean? I’ll be damned if I wait. Wherever one of us goes, the other goes too!”
He hitched the loose end of the rope round the forward thwart of the boat, and, swinging himself up the ladder, stood the next moment on the deck. “Anything very dreadful on board?” he inquired sarcastically, as he and his friend met.
He tied the loose end of the rope to the front seat of the boat, and, climbing up the ladder, stood on the deck the next moment. “Is there anything really terrible on board?” he asked sarcastically when he and his friend met.
Midwinter smiled. “Nothing whatever,” he replied. “But I couldn’t be sure that we were to have the whole ship to ourselves till I got over the bulwark and looked about me.”
Midwinter smiled. “Not a thing,” he replied. “But I couldn’t be certain that we’d have the whole ship to ourselves until I climbed over the railing and had a look around.”
Allan took a turn on the deck, and surveyed the wreck critically from stem to stern.
Allan walked around the deck and looked closely at the wreck from front to back.
“Not much of a vessel,” he said; “the Frenchmen generally build better ships than this.”
“Not much of a ship,” he said, “the French usually make better boats than this.”
Midwinter crossed the deck, and eyed Allan in a momentary silence.
Midwinter crossed the deck and glanced at Allan in a brief silence.
“Frenchmen?” he repeated, after an interval. “Is this vessel French?”
“Frenchmen?” he said again after a moment. “Is this ship French?”
“Yes.”
"Yep."
“How do you know?”
"How do you know that?"
“The men I have got at work on the yacht told me. They know all about her.”
“The guys I have working on the yacht told me. They know everything about her.”
Midwinter came a little nearer. His swarthy face began to look, to Allan’s eyes, unaccountably pale in the moonlight.
Midwinter got a bit closer. His dark face started to look, to Allan’s eyes, strangely pale in the moonlight.
“Did they mention what trade she was engaged in?”
“Did they say what job she had?”
“Yes; the timber trade.”
“Yes, the lumber business.”
As Allan gave that answer, Midwinter’s lean brown hand clutched him fast by the shoulder, and Midwinter’s teeth chattered in his head like the teeth of a man struck by a sudden chill.
As Allan gave that answer, Midwinter’s lean brown hand gripped him tightly by the shoulder, and Midwinter’s teeth chattered in his head like the teeth of someone hit by a sudden chill.
“Did they tell you her name?” he asked, in a voice that dropped suddenly to a whisper.
“Did they tell you her name?” he asked, his voice suddenly dropping to a whisper.
“They did, I think. But it has slipped my memory.—Gently, old fellow; these long claws of yours are rather tight on my shoulder.”
“They did, I think. But it’s slipped my mind.—Easy there, my friend; your long claws are a bit tight on my shoulder.”
“Was the name—?” He stopped, removed his hand, and dashed away the great drops that were gathering on his forehead. “Was the name La Grace de Dieu?”
“Was the name—?” He stopped, took his hand away, and wiped the large beads of sweat forming on his forehead. “Was the name La Grace de Dieu?”
“How the deuce did you come to know it? That’s the name, sure enough. La Grace de Dieu.”
“How the heck did you find out about it? That’s definitely the name. La Grace de Dieu.”
At one bound, Midwinter leaped on the bulwark of the wreck.
At one leap, Midwinter jumped onto the edge of the wreck.
“The boat!” he cried, with a scream of horror that rang far and wide through the stillness of the night, and brought Allan instantly to his side.
“The boat!” he shouted, his scream of horror echoing through the stillness of the night, bringing Allan immediately to his side.
The lower end of the carelessly hitched rope was loose on the water, and ahead, in the track of the moonlight, a small black object was floating out of view. The boat was adrift.
The loose end of the rope that was carelessly tied was floating in the water, and ahead, in the path of the moonlight, a small black object was drifting out of sight. The boat was floating aimlessly.
IV. THE SHADOW OF THE PAST.
One stepping back under the dark shelter of the bulwark, and one standing out boldly in the yellow light of the moon, the two friends turned face to face on the deck of the timber-ship, and looked at each other in silence. The next moment Allan’s inveterate recklessness seized on the grotesque side of the situation by main force. He seated himself astride on the bulwark, and burst out boisterously into his loudest and heartiest laugh.
One of them stepped back under the dark cover of the railing, while the other stood confidently in the bright moonlight. The two friends faced each other on the deck of the timber ship and looked at each other in silence. The next moment, Allan's relentless recklessness took over, and he couldn’t help but focus on the funny side of the situation. He swung himself over the railing and let out a loud, hearty laugh.
“All my fault,” he said; “but there’s no help for it now. Here we are, hard and fast in a trap of our own setting; and there goes the last of the doctor’s boat! Come out of the dark, Midwinter; I can’t half see you there, and I want to know what’s to be done next.”
“All my fault,” he said; “but there’s nothing we can do about it now. Here we are, stuck in a trap we set ourselves; and there goes the last of the doctor’s boat! Come out of the shadows, Midwinter; I can barely see you there, and I want to know what we should do next.”
Midwinter neither answered nor moved. Allan left the bulwark, and, mounting the forecastle, looked down attentively at the waters of the Sound.
Midwinter didn’t respond or move. Allan left the railing and, climbing up to the front of the ship, looked down carefully at the waters of the Sound.
“One thing is pretty certain,” he said. “With the current on that side, and the sunken rocks on this, we can’t find our way out of the scrape by swimming, at any rate. So much for the prospect at this end of the wreck. Let’s try how things look at the other. Rouse up, messmate!” he called out, cheerfully, as he passed Midwinter. “Come and see what the old tub of a timber-ship has got to show us astern.” He sauntered on, with his hands in his pockets, humming the chorus of a comic song.
"One thing is pretty clear," he said. "With the current over there and the submerged rocks over here, we definitely can't swim our way out of this mess. That's the situation at this end of the wreck. Let's check out how things are looking on the other side. Wake up, buddy!" he called out cheerfully as he walked past Midwinter. "Come see what the old hunk of junk timber ship has to show us behind." He strolled on, hands in his pockets, humming the chorus of a funny song.
His voice had produced no apparent effect on his friend; but, at the light touch of his hand in passing, Midwinter started, and moved out slowly from the shadow of the bulwark. “Come along!” cried Allan, suspending his singing for a moment, and glancing back. Still, without a word of answer, the other followed. Thrice he stopped before he reached the stern end of the wreck: the first time, to throw aside his hat, and push back his hair from his forehead and temples; the second time, reeling, giddy, to hold for a moment by a ring-bolt close at hand; the last time (though Allan was plainly visible a few yards ahead), to look stealthily behind him, with the furtive scrutiny of a man who believes that other footsteps are following him in the dark. “Not yet!” he whispered to himself, with eyes that searched the empty air. “I shall see him astern, with his hand on the lock of the cabin door.”
His voice didn’t seem to affect his friend at all; however, when he lightly touched his hand as he passed, Midwinter jumped and slowly stepped out from the shadow of the bulwark. “Come on!” Allan called out, pausing his singing for a moment and looking back. Still, without saying a word, the other man followed. He stopped three times before reaching the back end of the wreck: the first time, to take off his hat and push his hair back from his forehead and temples; the second time, feeling dizzy, to hold onto a ring-bolt nearby for a moment; and the last time (even though Allan was clearly visible a few yards ahead), to glance back stealthily, like someone who thinks they can hear other footsteps behind them in the darkness. “Not yet!” he muttered to himself, his eyes scanning the empty air. “I'll see him behind me, with his hand on the cabin door lock.”
The stern end of the wreck was clear of the ship-breakers’ lumber, accumulated in the other parts of the vessel. Here, the one object that rose visible on the smooth surface of the deck was the low wooden structure which held the cabin door and roofed in the cabin stairs. The wheel-house had been removed, the binnacle had been removed, but the cabin entrance, and all that had belonged to it, had been left untouched. The scuttle was on, and the door was closed.
The back end of the wreck was free of the ship-breakers’ debris that had piled up in other areas of the vessel. Here, the only thing that stood out on the flat surface of the deck was the small wooden structure that housed the cabin door and covered the cabin stairs. The wheel-house had been taken away, the binnacle was gone, but the cabin entrance and everything related to it remained intact. The scuttle was in place, and the door was shut.
On gaining the after-part of the vessel, Allan walked straight to the stern, and looked out to sea over the taffrail. No such thing as a boat was in view anywhere on the quiet, moon-brightened waters. Knowing Midwinter’s sight to be better than his own, he called out, “Come up here, and see if there’s a fisherman within hail of us.” Hearing no reply, he looked back. Midwinter had followed him as far as the cabin, and had stopped there. He called again in a louder voice, and beckoned impatiently. Midwinter had heard the call, for he looked up, but still he never stirred from his place. There he stood, as if he had reached the utmost limits of the ship and could go no further.
As Allan reached the back of the vessel, he walked straight to the stern and looked out to sea over the railing. There wasn't a single boat in sight on the calm, moonlit waters. Knowing Midwinter had sharper eyesight than he did, he shouted, “Come up here and check if there’s a fisherman within shouting distance.” When he heard no response, he glanced back. Midwinter had followed him as far as the cabin but had stopped there. Allan called out again, this time louder, and waved impatiently. Midwinter had caught the sound and looked up, but still, he didn’t move from his spot. He stood there, as if he had reached the farthest point of the ship and couldn’t go any further.
Allan went back and joined him. It was not easy to discover what he was looking at, for he kept his face turned away from the moonlight; but it seemed as if his eyes were fixed, with a strange expression of inquiry, on the cabin door. “What is there to look at there?” Allan asked. “Let’s see if it’s locked.” As he took a step forward to open the door, Midwinter’s hand seized him suddenly by the coat collar and forced him back. The moment after, the hand relaxed without losing its grasp, and trembled violently, like the hand of a man completely unnerved.
Allan went back and joined him. It was hard to tell what he was looking at since he kept his face turned away from the moonlight, but it looked like his eyes were fixed, with a strange look of curiosity, on the cabin door. “What is there to see there?” Allan asked. “Let’s check if it’s locked.” As he stepped forward to open the door, Midwinter suddenly grabbed him by the coat collar and pulled him back. A moment later, the grip loosened without letting go, and his hand shook violently, like someone who was completely shaken up.
“Am I to consider myself in custody?” asked Allan, half astonished and half amused. “Why in the name of wonder do you keep staring at the cabin door? Any suspicious noises below? It’s no use disturbing the rats—if that’s what you mean—we haven’t got a dog with us. Men? Living men they can’t be; for they would have heard us and come on deck. Dead men? Quite impossible! No ship’s crew could be drowned in a land-locked place like this, unless the vessel broke up under them—and here’s the vessel as steady as a church to speak for herself. Man alive, how your hand trembles! What is there to scare you in that rotten old cabin? What are you shaking and shivering about? Any company of the supernatural sort on board? Mercy preserve us! (as the old women say) do you see a ghost?”
“Am I supposed to think I’m in custody?” Allan asked, half shocked and half amused. “Why on earth are you staring at the cabin door? Are there any strange noises coming from below? It’s pointless to disturb the rats—if that’s what you’re getting at—we don’t have a dog with us. Men? Real living men can’t be; they would have heard us and come up on deck. Dead men? That’s impossible! No ship’s crew could drown in a place like this unless the ship broke apart under them—and look, the ship is as steady as a church. Good grief, your hand is shaking! What’s scaring you in that old, falling-apart cabin? Are there any ghosts on board? Oh my goodness! (as the old ladies say) do you see a ghost?”
“I see two!” answered the other, driven headlong into speech and action by a maddening temptation to reveal the truth. “Two!” he repeated, his breath bursting from him in deep, heavy gasps, as he tried vainly to force back the horrible words. “The ghost of a man like you, drowning in the cabin! And the ghost of a man like me, turning the lock of the door on him!”
“I see two!” the other replied, compelled to speak and act by an unbearable urge to share the truth. “Two!” he echoed, his breath coming in deep, heavy gasps as he struggled to hold back the terrible words. “The ghost of a man like you, drowning in the cabin! And the ghost of a man like me, locking the door on him!”
Once more young Armadale’s hearty laughter rang out loud and long through the stillness of the night.
Once again, young Armadale’s loud, hearty laughter echoed through the stillness of the night.
“Turning the lock of the door, is he?” said Allan, as soon as his merriment left him breath enough to speak. “That’s a devilish unhandsome action, Master Midwinter, on the part of your ghost. The least I can do, after that, is to let mine out of the cabin, and give him the run of the ship.”
“Is he turning the lock on the door?” Allan asked as soon as he caught his breath from laughing. “That’s a really nasty move, Master Midwinter, from your ghost. The least I can do after that is let mine out of the cabin and give him freedom to roam the ship.”
With no more than a momentary exertion of his superior strength, he freed himself easily from Midwinter’s hold. “Below there!” he called out, gayly, as he laid his strong hand on the crazy lock, and tore open the cabin door. “Ghost of Allan Armadale, come on deck!” In his terrible ignorance of the truth, he put his head into the doorway and looked down, laughing, at the place where his murdered father had died. “Pah!” he exclaimed, stepping back suddenly, with a shudder of disgust. “The air is foul already; and the cabin is full of water.”
With just a quick flex of his stronger muscles, he easily broke free from Midwinter’s grip. “Hey down there!” he called out cheerfully as he placed his strong hand on the rickety lock and yanked open the cabin door. “Ghost of Allan Armadale, come up here!” In his complete unawareness of the truth, he leaned into the doorway and looked down, laughing at the spot where his father had been murdered. “Ugh!” he said, stepping back suddenly, recoiling in disgust. “The air is already foul, and the cabin is flooded.”
It was true. The sunken rocks on which the vessel lay wrecked had burst their way through her lower timbers astern, and the water had welled up through the rifted wood. Here, where the deed had been done, the fatal parallel between past and present was complete. What the cabin had been in the time of the fathers, that the cabin was now in the time of the sons.
It was true. The sunken rocks that the ship was wrecked on had broken through her lower wooden frame at the back, and water had rushed in through the splintered wood. Here, where the damage had happened, the deadly connection between the past and the present was undeniable. What the cabin represented in the time of the fathers, the cabin represented now in the time of the sons.
Allan pushed the door to again with his foot, a little surprised at the sudden silence which appeared to have fallen on his friend from the moment when he had laid his hand on the cabin lock. When he turned to look, the reason of the silence was instantly revealed. Midwinter had dropped on the deck. He lay senseless before the cabin door; his face turned up, white and still, to the moonlight, like the face of a dead man.
Allan pushed the door open again with his foot, a bit surprised by the sudden silence that seemed to have enveloped his friend the moment he touched the cabin lock. When he turned to look, the cause of the silence became immediately clear. Midwinter had collapsed on the deck. He lay unconscious before the cabin door; his face was upturned, pale and still, in the moonlight, like that of a dead man.
In a moment Allan was at his side. He looked uselessly round the lonely limits of the wreck, as he lifted Midwinter’s head on his knee, for a chance of help, where all chance was ruthlessly cut off. “What am I to do?” he said to himself, in the first impulse of alarm. “Not a drop of water near, but the foul water in the cabin.” A sudden recollection crossed his memory, the florid color rushed back over his face, and he drew from his pocket a wicker-covered flask. “God bless the doctor for giving me this before we sailed!” he broke out, fervently, as he poured down Midwinter’s throat some drops of the raw whisky which the flask contained. The stimulant acted instantly on the sensitive system of the swooning man. He sighed faintly, and slowly opened his eyes. “Have I been dreaming?” he asked, looking up vacantly in Allan’s face. His eyes wandered higher, and encountered the dismantled masts of the wreck rising weird and black against the night sky. He shuddered at the sight of them, and hid his face on Allan’s knee. “No dream!” he murmured to himself, mournfully. “Oh me, no dream!”
In a moment, Allan was by his side. He glanced around the desolate wreckage, lifting Midwinter's head onto his knee, searching for help where there was none. “What am I supposed to do?” he thought, feeling a rush of panic. “There's not a drop of water around, just the dirty water in the cabin.” Suddenly, a memory struck him, color flooding back into his face as he pulled out a wicker-covered flask from his pocket. “Thank God for the doctor giving me this before we set sail!” he exclaimed, pouring some of the raw whisky down Midwinter’s throat. The stimulant took effect immediately on the fragile man. He sighed softly and gradually opened his eyes. “Was I dreaming?” he asked, staring blankly at Allan. His gaze drifted upward, meeting the broken masts of the wreck standing eerily against the night sky. He shuddered at the sight and buried his face in Allan’s knee. “Not a dream!” he murmured mournfully. “Oh no, definitely not a dream!”
“You have been overtired all day,” said Allan, “and this infernal adventure of ours has upset you. Take some more whisky, it’s sure to do you good. Can you sit by yourself, if I put you against the bulwark, so?”
“You've been worn out all day,” Allan said, “and this crazy adventure of ours has stressed you out. Have some more whiskey; it’ll definitely help. Can you sit on your own if I lean you against the railing like this?”
“Why by myself? Why do you leave me?” asked Midwinter.
“Why am I alone? Why are you leaving me?” asked Midwinter.
Allan pointed to the mizzen shrouds of the wreck, which were still left standing. “You are not well enough to rough it here till the workmen come off in the morning,” he said. “We must find our way on shore at once, if we can. I am going up to get a good view all round, and see if there’s a house within hail of us.”
Allan pointed to the mizzen shrouds of the wreck, which were still standing. “You’re not well enough to stick it out here until the workers arrive in the morning,” he said. “We need to find a way to shore right away, if possible. I’m going to climb up to get a good view all around and see if there’s a house nearby.”
Even in the moment that passed while those few words were spoken, Midwinter’s eyes wandered back distrustfully to the fatal cabin door. “Don’t go near it!” he whispered. “Don’t try to open it, for God’s sake!”
Even in the moment that passed while those few words were spoken, Midwinter’s eyes drifted back warily to the deadly cabin door. “Don’t go near it!” he whispered. “Don’t try to open it, for God’s sake!”
“No, no,” returned Allan, humoring him. “When I come down from the rigging, I’ll come back here.” He said the words a little constrainedly, noticing, for the first time while he now spoke, an underlying distress in Midwinter’s face, which grieved and perplexed him. “You’re not angry with me?” he said, in his simple, sweet-tempered way. “All this is my fault, I know; and I was a brute and a fool to laugh at you, when I ought to have seen you were ill. I am so sorry, Midwinter. Don’t be angry with me!”
“No, no,” Allan replied, trying to lighten the mood. “When I come down from the rigging, I’ll come back here.” He said it a bit awkwardly, noticing for the first time the underlying distress on Midwinter's face, which troubled and confused him. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” he asked in his straightforward, good-natured way. “I know all this is my fault; I was an idiot and a fool to laugh at you when I should have realized you were sick. I'm really sorry, Midwinter. Please don’t be mad at me!”
Midwinter slowly raised his head. His eyes rested with a mournful interest, long and tender, on Allan’s anxious face.
Midwinter slowly lifted his head. His eyes lingered with a sad, caring look on Allan’s worried face.
“Angry?” he repeated, in his lowest, gentlest tones. “Angry with you?—Oh, my poor boy, were you to blame for being kind to me when I was ill in the old west-country inn? And was I to blame for feeling your kindness thankfully? Was it our fault that we never doubted each other, and never knew that we were traveling together blindfold on the way that was to lead us here? The cruel time is coming, Allan, when we shall rue the day we ever met. Shake hands, brother, on the edge of the precipice—shake hands while we are brothers still!”
“Angry?” he repeated, in his softest, gentlest voice. “Angry with you?—Oh, my poor boy, were you at fault for being kind to me when I was sick at that old inn in the countryside? And was I at fault for appreciating your kindness? Was it our fault that we always trusted each other and never realized we were navigating this journey blindfolded, heading toward this moment? The harsh time is approaching, Allan, when we will regret the day we ever met. Let’s shake hands, brother, on the brink of the cliff—let’s shake hands while we are still brothers!”
Allan turned away quickly, convinced that his mind had not yet recovered the shock of the fainting fit. “Don’t forget the whisky!” he said, cheerfully, as he sprang into the rigging, and mounted to the mizzen-top.
Allan quickly turned away, believing that his mind hadn’t fully processed the shock of fainting. “Don’t forget the whiskey!” he said cheerfully as he jumped into the rigging and climbed up to the mizzen-top.
It was past two, the moon was waning, and the darkness that comes before dawn was beginning to gather round the wreck. Behind Allan, as he now stood looking out from the elevation of the mizzen-top, spread the broad and lonely sea. Before him were the low, black, lurking rocks, and the broken waters of the channel, pouring white and angry into the vast calm of the westward ocean beyond. On the right hand, heaved back grandly from the water-side, were the rocks and precipices, with their little table-lands of grass between; the sloping downs, and upward-rolling heath solitudes of the Isle of Man. On the left hand rose the craggy sides of the Islet of the Calf, here rent wildly into deep black chasms, there lying low under long sweeping acclivities of grass and heath. No sound rose, no light was visible, on either shore. The black lines of the topmost masts of the wreck looked shadowy and faint in the darkening mystery of the sky; the land breeze had dropped; the small shoreward waves fell noiseless: far or near, no sound was audible but the cheerless bubbling of the broken water ahead, pouring through the awful hush of silence in which earth and ocean waited for the coming day.
It was past two, the moon was setting, and the darkness that comes before dawn was starting to surround the wreck. Behind Allan, as he stood looking out from the mizzen-top, stretched the vast and lonely sea. In front of him were the low, black rocks lurking menacingly, and the choppy waters of the channel, crashing white and furious into the wide calm of the ocean beyond. To his right rose the impressive rocks and cliffs, with little grassy plateaus in between; the sloping hills and the open heathlands of the Isle of Man. To his left climbed the rugged sides of the Islet of the Calf, here torn violently into deep black gorges, there laying low under large sweeping slopes of grass and heath. No sound broke the silence, no light was visible on either shore. The dark outline of the tallest masts of the wreck appeared shadowy and faint against the darkening sky; the land breeze had died down; the small waves lapping towards the shore fell silently: near or far, the only sound was the bleak bubbling of the broken water ahead, flowing through the eerie stillness where earth and ocean waited for the arrival of day.
Even Allan’s careless nature felt the solemn influence of the time. The sound of his own voice startled him when he looked down and hailed his friend on deck.
Even Allan's casual nature was affected by the serious mood of the moment. The sound of his own voice surprised him when he looked down and called out to his friend on deck.
“I think I see one house,” he said. “Here-away, on the mainland to the right.” He looked again, to make sure, at a dim little patch of white, with faint white lines behind it, nestling low in a grassy hollow, on the main island. “It looks like a stone house and inclosure,” he resumed. “I’ll hail it, on the chance.” He passed his arm round a rope to steady himself, made a speaking-trumpet of his hands, and suddenly dropped them again without uttering a sound. “It’s so awfully quiet,” he whispered to himself. “I’m half afraid to call out.” He looked down again on deck. “I shan’t startle you, Midwinter, shall I?” he said, with an uneasy laugh. He looked once more at the faint white object, in the grassy hollow. “It won’t do to have come up here for nothing,” he thought, and made a speaking-trumpet of his hands again. This time he gave the hail with the whole power of his lungs. “On shore there!” he shouted, turning his face to the main island. “Ahoy-hoy-hoy!”
“I think I see a house,” he said. “Over there, on the mainland to the right.” He looked again to confirm, spotting a dim little patch of white with faint lines behind it, nestled low in a grassy hollow on the main island. “It looks like a stone house and enclosure,” he continued. “I’ll call out, just in case.” He wrapped his arm around a rope to steady himself, made a megaphone with his hands, and suddenly dropped them again without making a sound. “It’s so incredibly quiet,” he whispered to himself. “I’m half afraid to shout.” He glanced down at the deck. “I won’t startle you, Midwinter, will I?” he said with a nervous laugh. He looked once more at the faint white shape in the grassy hollow. “I can’t have come up here for nothing,” he thought, and formed a megaphone with his hands again. This time, he shouted with all the strength of his lungs, “On shore there!” turning his face toward the main island. “Ahoy-hoy-hoy!”
The last echoes of his voice died away and were lost. No sound answered him but the cheerless bubbling of the broken water ahead.
The last echoes of his voice faded away and were gone. The only sound that responded was the bleak bubbling of the broken water up ahead.
He looked down again at his friend, and saw the dark figure of Midwinter rise erect, and pace the deck backward and forward, never disappearing out of sight of the cabin when it retired toward the bows of the wreck, and never passing beyond the cabin when it returned toward the stern. “He is impatient to get away,” thought Allan; “I’ll try again.” He hailed the land once more, and, taught by previous experience, pitched his voice in its highest key.
He looked down again at his friend and saw the dark figure of Midwinter stand up and walk back and forth on the deck, never out of sight of the cabin when it headed toward the front of the wreck and never passing beyond the cabin when it came back toward the back. "He's eager to leave," Allan thought; "I'll give it another shot." He called out to the land once more and, having learned from past experiences, raised his voice to its highest pitch.
This time another sound than the sound of the bubbling water answered him. The lowing of frightened cattle rose from the building in the grassy hollow, and traveled far and drearily through the stillness of the morning air. Allan waited and listened. If the building was a farmhouse the disturbance among the beasts would rouse the men. If it was only a cattle-stable, nothing more would happen. The lowing of the frightened brutes rose and fell drearily, the minutes passed, and nothing happened.
This time, a different sound than the bubbling water responded to him. The lowing of scared cattle came from the building in the grassy hollow and echoed forlornly through the quiet morning air. Allan waited and listened. If the building was a farmhouse, the commotion among the animals would wake the men. If it was just a cattle stable, nothing more would happen. The lowing of the terrified animals rose and fell drearily, the minutes passed, and nothing changed.
“Once more!” said Allan, looking down at the restless figure pacing beneath him. For the third time he hailed the land. For the third time he waited and listened.
“Once more!” said Allan, looking down at the restless figure pacing below him. For the third time, he called out to the land. For the third time, he waited and listened.
In a pause of silence among the cattle, he heard behind him, on the opposite shore of the channel, faint and far among the solitudes of the Islet of the Calf, a sharp, sudden sound, like the distant clash of a heavy door-bolt drawn back. Turning at once in the new direction, he strained his eyes to look for a house. The last faint rays of the waning moonlight trembled here and there on the higher rocks, and on the steeper pinnacles of ground, but great strips of darkness lay dense and black over all the land between; and in that darkness the house, if house there were, was lost to view.
In a moment of silence among the cattle, he heard behind him, on the opposite shore of the channel, a faint and distant sound coming from the lonely Islet of the Calf, like the sudden clash of a heavy door-bolt being pulled back. Quickly turning in that direction, he squinted to look for a house. The last weak rays of the fading moonlight flickered here and there on the higher rocks and on the steeper ground, but thick strips of darkness lay deep and black over all the land in between; and in that darkness, the house, if there was one, was hidden from sight.
“I have roused somebody at last,” Allan called out, encouragingly, to Midwinter, still walking to and fro on the deck, strangely indifferent to all that was passing above and beyond him. “Look out for the answering, hail!” And with his face set toward the islet, Allan shouted for help.
“I’ve finally gotten someone’s attention,” Allan called out encouragingly to Midwinter, who was still pacing back and forth on the deck, oddly indifferent to everything happening around him. “Listen for the responding call!” With his gaze fixed on the islet, Allan shouted for help.
The shout was not answered, but mimicked with a shrill, shrieking derision, with wilder and wilder cries, rising out of the deep distant darkness, and mingling horribly the expression of a human voice with the sound of a brute’s. A sudden suspicion crossed Allan’s mind, which made his head swim and turned his hand cold as it held the rigging. In breathless silence he looked toward the quarter from which the first mimicry of his cry for help had come. After a moment’s pause the shrieks were renewed, and the sound of them came nearer. Suddenly a figure, which seemed the figure of a man, leaped up black on a pinnacle of rock, and capered and shrieked in the waning gleam of the moonlight. The screams of a terrified woman mingled with the cries of the capering creature on the rock. A red spark flashed out in the darkness from a light kindled in an invisible window. The hoarse shouting of a man’s voice in anger was heard through the noise. A second black figure leaped up on the rock, struggled with the first figure, and disappeared with it in the darkness. The cries grew fainter and fainter, the screams of the woman were stilled, the hoarse voice of the man was heard again for a moment, hailing the wreck in words made unintelligible by the distance, but in tones plainly expressive of rage and fear combined. Another moment, and the clang of the door-bolt was heard again, the red spark of light was quenched in darkness, and all the islet lay quiet in the shadows once more. The lowing of the cattle on the main-land ceased, rose again, stopped. Then, cold and cheerless as ever, the eternal bubbling of the broken water welled up through the great gap of silence—the one sound left, as the mysterious stillness of the hour fell like a mantle from the heavens, and closed over the wreck.
The shout went unanswered but was imitated with a shrill, mocking derision, with wilder and wilder cries rising from the deep, distant darkness, horribly mixing a human voice with an animal's sound. A sudden suspicion hit Allan, making his head spin and turning his hand cold as he held the rigging. In breathless silence, he looked toward the direction from which the initial mimicry of his cry for help had come. After a brief pause, the shrieks started again, and the sound approached. Suddenly, a figure that looked like a man leaped up dark against a peak of rock, dancing and screaming in the fading moonlight. The screams of a terrified woman blended with the cries of the dancing creature on the rock. A red spark ignited in the darkness from a light coming from an unseen window. A man's hoarse voice could be heard shouting angrily through the noise. Another dark figure jumped up on the rock, struggled with the first figure, and vanished with it into the darkness. The cries grew fainter and fainter, the woman's screams faded, the man's hoarse voice was heard again for a moment, calling out to the wreck in words made unclear by the distance, but clearly expressing a mix of rage and fear. A moment later, the clang of a door bolt was heard again, the red spark of light was extinguished in darkness, and the islet lay quiet in the shadows once more. The lowing of the cattle on the mainland stopped, rose again, and then ceased. Then, cold and cheerless as ever, the endless bubbling of the broken water welled up through the significant silence—the only sound that remained as the mysterious stillness of the hour fell like a cloak from the heavens, covering the wreck.
Allan descended from his place in the mizzen-top, and joined his friend again on deck.
Allan came down from his spot in the mizzen-top and rejoined his friend on deck.
“We must wait till the ship-breakers come off to their work,” he said, meeting Midwinter halfway in the course of his restless walk. “After what has happened, I don’t mind confessing that I’ve had enough of hailing the land. Only think of there being a madman in that house ashore, and of my waking him! Horrible, wasn’t it?”
“We have to wait until the ship-breakers start their work,” he said, meeting Midwinter halfway during his restless walk. “After everything that’s happened, I don’t mind admitting that I’ve had my fill of calling out to the land. Just imagine there’s a madman in that house on shore, and I woke him up! Terrible, right?”
Midwinter stood still for a moment, and looked at Allan, with the perplexed air of a man who hears circumstances familiarly mentioned to which he is himself a total stranger. He appeared, if such a thing had been possible, to have passed over entirely without notice all that had just happened on the Islet of the Calf.
Midwinter paused for a moment and looked at Allan, with a confused expression of someone hearing familiar circumstances that they know nothing about. It seemed, if that were even possible, that he had completely ignored everything that had just happened on the Islet of the Calf.
“Nothing is horrible out of this ship,” he said. “Everything is horrible in it.”
“Nothing is terrible out of this ship,” he said. “Everything is terrible in it.”
Answering in those strange words, he turned away again, and went on with his walk.
Answering in those strange words, he turned away again and continued his walk.
Allan picked up the flask of whisky lying on the deck near him, and revived his spirits with a dram. “Here’s one thing on board that isn’t horrible,” he retorted briskly, as he screwed on the stopper of the flask; “and here’s another,” he added, as he took a cigar from his case and lit it. “Three o’clock!” he went on, looking at his watch, and settling himself comfortably on deck with his back against the bulwark. “Daybreak isn’t far off; we shall have the piping of the birds to cheer us up before long. I say, Midwinter, you seem to have quite got over that unlucky fainting fit. How you do keep walking! Come here and have a cigar, and make yourself comfortable. What’s the good of tramping backward and forward in that restless way?”
Allan picked up the flask of whiskey lying on the deck next to him and lifted his spirits with a drink. “At least there’s one decent thing on board,” he replied cheerfully as he put the stopper back on the flask; “and here’s another,” he said, pulling a cigar from his case and lighting it. “Three o’clock!” he continued, glancing at his watch and settling in comfortably on deck with his back against the railing. “Daybreak isn’t far off; we’ll have the birds singing to lift our spirits soon. I say, Midwinter, you seem to have fully recovered from that unfortunate fainting spell. You sure do keep walking! Come here and have a cigar, and relax a bit. What’s the point of pacing back and forth like that?”
“I am waiting,” said Midwinter.
"I'm waiting," said Midwinter.
“Waiting! What for?”
"Waiting! For what?"
“For what is to happen to you or to me—or to both of us—before we are out of this ship.”
“For what is going to happen to you or to me—or to both of us—before we get off this ship.”
“With submission to your superior judgment, my dear fellow, I think quite enough has happened already. The adventure will do very well as it stands now; more of it is more than I want.” He took another dram of whisky, and rambled on, between the puffs of his cigar, in his usual easy way. “I’ve not got your fine imagination, old boy; and I hope the next thing that happens will be the appearance of the workmen’s boat. I suspect that queer fancy of yours has been running away with you while you were down here all by yourself. Come, now, what were you thinking of while I was up in the mizzen-top frightening the cows?”
"Respecting your superior judgment, my dear friend, I believe quite a lot has already happened. The adventure is just fine as it is; I don’t want any more of it." He took another shot of whisky and continued chatting, between puffs of his cigar, in his usual relaxed manner. "I don’t have your great imagination, old buddy; and I hope the next thing we see is the workmen’s boat. I think that strange idea of yours has gotten a bit out of hand while you've been down here all alone. So, what were you thinking about while I was up in the mizzen-top scaring the cows?"
Midwinter suddenly stopped. “Suppose I tell you?” he said.
Midwinter suddenly stopped. “What if I tell you?” he said.
“Suppose you do?”
"What if you do?"
The torturing temptation to reveal the truth, roused once already by his companion’s merciless gayety of spirit, possessed itself of Midwinter for the second time. He leaned back in the dark against the high side of the ship, and looked down in silence at Allan’s figure, stretched comfortably on the deck. “Rouse him,” the fiend whispered, subtly, “from that ignorant self-possession and that pitiless repose. Show him the place where the deed was done; let him know it with your knowledge, and fear it with your dread. Tell him of the letter you burned, and of the words no fire can destroy which are living in your memory now. Let him see your mind as it was yesterday, when it roused your sinking faith in your own convictions, to look back on your life at sea, and to cherish the comforting remembrance that, in all your voyages, you had never fallen in with this ship. Let him see your mind as it is now, when the ship has got you at the turning-point of your new life, at the outset of your friendship with the one man of all men whom your father warned you to avoid. Think of those death-bed words, and whisper them in his ear, that he may think of them, too: ‘Hide yourself from him under an assumed name. Put the mountains and the seas between you; be ungrateful, be unforgiving; be all that is most repellent to your own gentler nature, rather than live under the same roof and breathe the same air with that man.’” So the tempter counseled. So, like a noisome exhalation from the father’s grave, the father’s influence rose and poisoned the mind of the son.
The intense temptation to reveal the truth, stirred once already by his companion’s relentless joy, took hold of Midwinter for the second time. He leaned back in the dark against the ship's high side, silently watching Allan’s figure, comfortably stretched out on the deck. “Wake him,” the devil on his shoulder whispered, subtly, “from that ignorant self-assurance and that unfeeling calm. Show him the spot where it all happened; let him understand it with your knowledge, and fear it with your dread. Tell him about the letter you burned, and the words no fire can erase that are still alive in your memory. Let him see your thoughts as they were yesterday, when they reignited your fading faith in your own beliefs, as you reflected on your life at sea, and cherished the reassuring thought that, throughout all your journeys, you had never encountered this ship. Let him see your thoughts as they are now, when the ship has brought you to a crucial moment in your new life, at the beginning of your friendship with the one man your father warned you to stay away from. Remember those deathbed words, and whisper them in his ear, so he can think of them too: ‘Hide from him using a fake name. Put mountains and oceans between you; be ungrateful, be unforgiving; be everything that is most repulsive to your kinder nature, rather than live under the same roof and breathe the same air as that man.’” So the tempter advised. And so, like a foul mist from the father’s grave, the father’s influence rose and tainted the son’s mind.
The sudden silence surprised Allan; he looked back drowsily over his shoulder. “Thinking again!” he exclaimed, with a weary yawn.
The sudden silence caught Allan off guard; he groggily glanced back over his shoulder. “Thinking again!” he said with a tired yawn.
Midwinter stepped out from the shadow, and came nearer to Allan than he had come yet. “Yes,” he said, “thinking of the past and the future.”
Midwinter stepped out of the shadows and approached Allan closer than he had before. “Yes,” he said, “I was thinking about the past and the future.”
“The past and the future?” repeated Allan, shifting himself comfortably into a new position. “For my part, I’m dumb about the past. It’s a sore subject with me: the past means the loss of the doctor’s boat. Let’s talk about the future. Have you been taking a practical view? as dear old Brock calls it. Have you been considering the next serious question that concerns us both when we get back to the hotel—the question of breakfast?”
“The past and the future?” Allan repeated, settling into a more comfortable position. “Honestly, I’m pretty clueless about the past. It’s a painful topic for me: the past means losing the doctor’s boat. Let’s focus on the future. Have you been looking at it practically, like dear old Brock would say? Have you been thinking about the next important question that affects both of us when we get back to the hotel—the question of breakfast?”
After an instant’s hesitation, Midwinter took a step nearer. “I have been thinking of your future and mine,” he said; “I have been thinking of the time when your way in life and my way in life will be two ways instead of one.”
After a moment’s pause, Midwinter stepped closer. “I’ve been thinking about your future and mine,” he said; “I’ve been thinking about the time when your path in life and my path in life will separate instead of being one.”
“Here’s the daybreak!” cried Allan. “Look up at the masts; they’re beginning to get clear again already. I beg your pardon. What were you saying?”
“Here’s the sunrise!” shouted Allan. “Look up at the masts; they’re starting to clear up again already. Sorry about that. What were you saying?”
Midwinter made no reply. The struggle between the hereditary superstition that was driving him on, and the unconquerable affection for Allan that was holding him back, suspended the next words on his lips. He turned aside his face in speechless suffering. “Oh, my father!” he thought, “better have killed me on that day when I lay on your bosom, than have let me live for this.”
Midwinter didn't respond. The conflict between the deep-rooted superstition pushing him forward and the strong love for Allan holding him back left his next words hanging on his lips. He turned away his face in silent pain. “Oh, my father!” he thought, “it would have been better if you had killed me that day when I lay in your arms than to let me live for this.”
“What’s that about the future?” persisted Allan. “I was looking for the daylight; I didn’t hear.”
“What’s that about the future?” Allan pressed on. “I was looking for the daylight; I didn’t hear.”
Midwinter controlled himself, and answered: “You have treated me with your usual kindness,” he said, “in planning to take me with you to Thorpe Ambrose. I think, on reflection, I had better not intrude myself where I am not known and not expected.” His voice faltered, and he stopped again. The more he shrank from it, the clearer the picture of the happy life that he was resigning rose on his mind.
Midwinter composed himself and replied, “You’ve been your usual thoughtful self,” he said, “by planning to take me with you to Thorpe Ambrose. However, after thinking it over, I believe it’s best if I don’t impose myself in a place where I’m not known or expected.” His voice wavered, and he paused once more. The more he hesitated, the clearer the image of the happy life he was giving up became in his mind.
Allan’s thoughts instantly reverted to the mystification about the new steward which he had practiced on his friend when they were consulting together in the cabin of the yacht. “Has he been turning it over in his mind?” wondered Allan; “and is he beginning at last to suspect the truth? I’ll try him.—Talk as much nonsense, my dear fellow, as you like,” he rejoined, “but don’t forget that you are engaged to see me established at Thorpe Ambrose, and to give me your opinion of the new steward.”
Allan’s thoughts immediately went back to the confusion about the new steward that he had discussed with his friend while they were in the yacht's cabin. “Has he been thinking about it?” Allan wondered; “and is he finally starting to suspect the truth? I’ll test him.—Go ahead and talk as much nonsense as you want, my friend,” he replied, “but don’t forget that you agreed to help me settle in at Thorpe Ambrose and to share your thoughts on the new steward.”
Midwinter suddenly stepped forward again, close to Allan.
Midwinter suddenly took a step forward again, standing right next to Allan.
“I am not talking about your steward or your estate,” he burst out passionately; “I am talking about myself. Do you hear? Myself! I am not a fit companion for you. You don’t know who I am.” He drew back into the shadowy shelter of the bulwark as suddenly as he had come out from it. “O God! I can’t tell him,” he said to himself, in a whisper.
“I’m not talking about your steward or your estate,” he exclaimed passionately; “I’m talking about me. Do you hear? Me! I’m not someone you should be around. You don’t know who I really am.” He stepped back into the shadowy cover of the bulwark just as quickly as he had emerged. “Oh God! I can’t tell him,” he murmured to himself.
For a moment, and for a moment only, Allan was surprised. “Not know who you are?” Even as he repeated the words, his easy goodhumor got the upper-hand again. He took up the whisky flask, and shook it significantly. “I say,” he resumed, “how much of the doctor’s medicine did you take while I was up in the mizzen-top?”
For a moment, and just a moment, Allan was surprised. “You don’t know who you are?” Even as he said it again, his relaxed good humor took over once more. He picked up the whiskey flask and shook it meaningfully. “I say,” he continued, “how much of the doctor’s medicine did you take while I was up in the crow’s nest?”
The light tone which he persisted in adopting stung Midwinter to the last pitch of exasperation. He came out again into the light, and stamped his foot angrily on the deck. “Listen to me!” he said. “You don’t know half the low things I have done in my lifetime. I have been a tradesman’s drudge; I have swept out the shop and put up the shutters; I have carried parcels through the street, and waited for my master’s money at his customers’ doors.”
The casual attitude he kept up really frustrated Midwinter to the limit. He stepped back into the light and stamped his foot angrily on the deck. “Listen to me!” he said. “You have no idea about half the low things I’ve done in my life. I’ve been a shopkeeper's slave; I’ve swept out the store and put up the shutters; I’ve carried packages down the street and waited for my boss’s payment at his customers’ doors.”
“I have never done anything half as useful,” returned Allan, composedly. “Dear old boy, what an industrious fellow you have been in your time!”
“I’ve never done anything as useful,” Allan replied calmly. “Dear old friend, what a hard worker you’ve been over the years!”
“I’ve been a vagabond and a blackguard in my time,” returned the other, fiercely; “I’ve been a street tumbler, a tramp, a gypsy’s boy! I’ve sung for half-pence with dancing dogs on the high-road! I’ve worn a foot-boy’s livery, and waited at table! I’ve been a common sailors’ cook, and a starving fisherman’s Jack-of-all-trades! What has a gentleman in your position in common with a man in mine? Can you take me into the society at Thorpe Ambrose? Why, my very name would be a reproach to you. Fancy the faces of your new neighbors when their footmen announce Ozias Midwinter and Allan Armadale in the same breath!” He burst into a harsh laugh, and repeated the two names again, with a scornful bitterness of emphasis which insisted pitilessly on the marked contrast between them.
“I’ve been a drifter and a rogue in my time,” the other replied fiercely; “I’ve been a street performer, a wanderer, a gypsy's kid! I’ve sung for coins with dancing dogs on the main road! I’ve worn a footman’s uniform and waited tables! I’ve been a common sailor’s cook and a starving fisherman’s jack-of-all-trades! What does a gentleman like you have in common with someone like me? Can you really bring me into the society at Thorpe Ambrose? My very name would shame you. Just imagine the looks on your new neighbors' faces when their footmen announce Ozias Midwinter and Allan Armadale in the same breath!” He burst out laughing harshly and repeated the two names again, with a scornful bitterness that highlighted the stark contrast between them.
Something in the sound of his laughter jarred painfully even on Allan’s easy nature. He raised himself on the deck and spoke seriously for the first time. “A joke’s a joke, Midwinter,” he said, “as long as you don’t carry it too far. I remember your saying something of the same sort to me once before when I was nursing you in Somersetshire. You forced me to ask you if I deserved to be kept at arms-length by you of all the people in the world. Don’t force me to say so again. Make as much fun of me as you please, old fellow, in any other way. That way hurts me.”
Something about the sound of his laughter really got under Allan's skin, even though he usually took things easy. He sat up on the deck and spoke seriously for the first time. “A joke’s a joke, Midwinter,” he said, “as long as you don’t take it too far. I remember you saying something similar to me once before when I was taking care of you in Somersetshire. You made me ask if I really deserved to be kept at arm’s length by you of all people in the world. Don’t make me say it again. Make fun of me however you want, old friend, just not that way. That hurts.”
Simple as the words were, and simply as they had been spoken, they appeared to work an instant revolution in Midwinter’s mind. His impressible nature recoiled as from some sudden shock. Without a word of reply, he walked away by himself to the forward part of the ship. He sat down on some piled planks between the masts, and passed his hand over his head in a vacant, bewildered way. Though his father’s belief in fatality was his own belief once more—though there was no longer the shadow of a doubt in his mind that the woman whom Mr. Brock had met in Somersetshire, and the woman who had tried to destroy herself in London, were one and the same—though all the horror that mastered him when he first read the letter from Wildbad had now mastered him again, Allan’s appeal to their past experience of each other had come home to his heart, with a force more irresistible than the force of his superstition itself. In the strength of that very superstition, he now sought the pretext which might encourage him to sacrifice every less generous feeling to the one predominant dread of wounding the sympathies of his friend. “Why distress him?” he whispered to himself. “We are not the end here: there is the Woman behind us in the dark. Why resist him when the mischief’s done, and the caution comes too late? What is to be will be. What have I to do with the future? and what has he?”
Simple as the words were, and simply as they had been spoken, they seemed to spark an immediate change in Midwinter’s mind. His sensitive nature recoiled as if from a sudden shock. Without saying a word, he walked away by himself to the front of the ship. He sat down on some stacked planks between the masts and ran his hand over his head in a blank, confused manner. Even though his father’s belief in fate was once again his own belief—though he no longer doubted that the woman Mr. Brock had met in Somersetshire and the woman who had tried to take her life in London were the same person—though all the horror he felt when he first read Wildbad's letter had returned, Allan’s plea about their past together struck his heart with a force stronger than his superstitions. Fueled by that very superstition, he now searched for an excuse that might allow him to prioritize the one dominant fear of hurting his friend’s feelings over every other consideration. “Why upset him?” he murmured to himself. “We’re not the ultimate point here: there’s the Woman behind us in the shadows. Why fight him when the damage is done and the warning comes too late? What is meant to be will be. What do I have to do with the future? And what does he?”
He went back to Allan, sat down by his side, and took his hand. “Forgive me,” he said, gently; “I have hurt you for the last time.” Before it was possible to reply, he snatched up the whisky flask from the deck. “Come!” he exclaimed, with a sudden effort to match his friend’s cheerfulness, “you have been trying the doctor’s medicine, why shouldn’t I?”
He returned to Allan, sat next to him, and took his hand. “Forgive me,” he said softly; “I’ve hurt you for the last time.” Before Allan could respond, he grabbed the whisky flask from the deck. “Come on!” he said, trying to match his friend's cheerfulness, “you’ve been trying the doctor’s medicine, why shouldn’t I?”
Allan was delighted. “This is something like a change for the better,” he said; “Midwinter is himself again. Hark! there are the birds. Hail, smiling morn! smiling morn!” He sang the words of the glee in his old, cheerful voice, and clapped Midwinter on the shoulder in his old, hearty way. “How did you manage to clear your head of those confounded megrims? Do you know you were quite alarming about something happening to one or other of us before we were out of this ship?”
Allan was thrilled. “This feels like a change for the better,” he said; “Midwinter is back to his old self. Listen! There are the birds. Good morning, bright day! bright day!” He sang the lyrics of the cheerful song in his familiar, happy voice and patted Midwinter on the shoulder in his usual, warm manner. “How did you manage to get rid of those annoying worries? Did you know you were really concerning us with your thoughts about something happening to one of us before we got off this ship?”
“Sheer nonsense!” returned Midwinter, contemptuously. “I don’t think my head has ever been quite right since that fever; I’ve got a bee in my bonnet, as they say in the North. Let’s talk of something else. About those people you have let the cottage to? I wonder whether the agent’s account of Major Milroy’s family is to be depended on? There might be another lady in the household besides his wife and his daughter.”
“Complete nonsense!” Midwinter shot back, with disdain. “I don’t think my mind has been quite right since that fever; I’ve got a bee in my bonnet, as they say up North. Let’s talk about something else. What about those people you rented the cottage to? I wonder if the agent's information about Major Milroy’s family is reliable? There could be another woman in the household besides his wife and daughter.”
“Oho!” cried Allan, “you’re beginning to think of nymphs among the trees, and flirtations in the fruit-garden, are you? Another lady, eh? Suppose the major’s family circle won’t supply another? We shall have to spin that half-crown again, and toss up for which is to have the first chance with Miss Milroy.”
“Oho!” exclaimed Allan, “you’re starting to imagine nymphs in the trees and flirting in the fruit garden, are you? Another lady, huh? What if the major’s family doesn’t have another? We’ll have to flip that half-crown again and see who gets the first shot with Miss Milroy.”
For once Midwinter spoke as lightly and carelessly as Allan himself. “No, no,” he said, “the major’s landlord has the first claim to the notice of the major’s daughter. I’ll retire into the background, and wait for the next lady who makes her appearance at Thorpe Ambrose.”
For once, Midwinter talked as casually and carelessly as Allan did. “No, no,” he said, “the major’s landlord has the first claim on the attention of the major’s daughter. I’ll step back and wait for the next lady to show up at Thorpe Ambrose.”
“Very good. I’ll have an address to the women of Norfolk posted in the park to that effect,” said Allan. “Are you particular to a shade about size or complexion? What’s your favorite age?”
“Great. I’ll put up an address to the women of Norfolk in the park about that,” said Allan. “Do you have a preference for a specific size or skin tone? What age do you like best?”
Midwinter trifled with his own superstition, as a man trifles with the loaded gun that may kill him, or with the savage animal that may maim him for life. He mentioned the age (as he had reckoned it himself) of the woman in the black gown and the red Paisley shawl.
Midwinter played around with his own superstition, like someone messing with a loaded gun that could kill him or a wild animal that might injure him for life. He talked about the age (as he had calculated it himself) of the woman in the black dress and the red paisley shawl.
“Five-and-thirty,” he said.
"Thirty-five," he said.
As the words passed his lips, his factitious spirits deserted him. He left his seat, impenetrably deaf to all Allan’s efforts at rallying him on his extraordinary answer, and resumed his restless pacing of the deck in dead silence. Once more the haunting thought which had gone to and fro with him in the hour of darkness went to and fro with him now in the hour of daylight.
As the words left his mouth, his fake confidence vanished. He got up from his seat, completely ignoring Allan’s attempts to joke about his strange response, and went back to pacing the deck in silence. Once again, the disturbing thought that had tormented him during the dark times now troubled him in the light of day.
Once more the conviction possessed itself of his mind that something was to happen to Allan or to himself before they left the wreck.
Once again, he was convinced that something was going to happen to Allan or to him before they left the wreck.
Minute by minute the light strengthened in the eastern sky; and the shadowy places on the deck of the timber-ship revealed their barren emptiness under the eye of day. As the breeze rose again, the sea began to murmur wakefully in the morning light. Even the cold bubbling of the broken water changed its cheerless note, and softened on the ear as the mellowing flood of daylight poured warm over it from the rising sun. Midwinter paused near the forward part of the ship, and recalled his wandering attention to the passing time. The cheering influences of the hour were round him, look where he might. The happy morning smile of the summer sky, so brightly merciful to the old and weary earth, lavished its all-embracing beauty even on the wreck. The dew that lay glittering on the inland fields lay glittering on the deck, and the worn and rusted rigging was gemmed as brightly as the fresh green leaves on shore. Insensibly, as he looked round, Midwinter’s thoughts reverted to the comrade who had shared with him the adventure of the night. He returned to the after-part of the ship, spoke to Allan as he advanced. Receiving no answer, he approached the recumbent figure and looked closer at it. Left to his own resources, Allan had let the fatigues of the night take their own way with him. His head had sunk back; his hat had fallen off; he lay stretched at full length on the deck of the timber-ship, deeply and peacefully asleep.
Minute by minute, the light grew stronger in the eastern sky, and the shadowy spots on the deck of the timber ship revealed their bare emptiness in the sunlight. As the breeze picked up again, the sea started to murmur awake in the morning light. Even the cold bubbling of the splashing water changed its dreary tone and softened to the ear as the warm flood of daylight flowed over it from the rising sun. Midwinter paused near the front of the ship, bringing his wandering attention back to the passing time. The uplifting influences of the hour surrounded him wherever he looked. The cheerful morning brightness of the summer sky, mercifully kind to the old and weary earth, showered its all-encompassing beauty even on the wreck. The dew that sparkled on the inland fields also glittered on the deck, and the worn and rusty rigging was adorned as brightly as the fresh green leaves on shore. Unconsciously, as he glanced around, Midwinter’s thoughts turned to the friend who had shared the night’s adventure with him. He returned to the back of the ship and spoke to Allan as he approached. When he got no answer, he moved closer to the still figure and examined it more closely. Left to his own devices, Allan had allowed the fatigue of the night to take its toll. His head had fallen back; his hat had slipped off; he lay stretched out flat on the deck of the timber ship, deeply and peacefully asleep.
Midwinter resumed his walk; his mind lost in doubt; his own past thoughts seeming suddenly to have grown strange to him. How darkly his forebodings had distrusted the coming time, and how harmlessly that time had come! The sun was mounting in the heavens, the hour of release was drawing nearer and nearer, and of the two Armadales imprisoned in the fatal ship, one was sleeping away the weary time, and the other was quietly watching the growth of the new day.
Midwinter continued his walk, his mind filled with uncertainty; his own previous thoughts now felt oddly unfamiliar to him. How much his worries had doubted the future, and yet how harmless that future turned out to be! The sun was rising in the sky, the moment of freedom was getting closer and closer, and of the two Armadales trapped in the doomed ship, one was sleeping through the tedious hours, while the other was peacefully observing the dawn of a new day.
The sun climbed higher; the hour wore on. With the latent distrust of the wreck which still clung to him, Midwinter looked inquiringly on either shore for signs of awakening human life. The land was still lonely. The smoke wreaths that were soon to rise from cottage chimneys had not risen yet.
The sun rose higher; time passed. With the lingering distrust of the wreck still hanging over him, Midwinter looked curiously at both shores for any signs of waking human life. The land remained deserted. The wisps of smoke that would soon rise from cottage chimneys had not appeared yet.
After a moment’s thought he went back again to the after-part of the vessel, to see if there might be a fisherman’s boat within hail astern of them. Absorbed for the moment by the new idea, he passed Allan hastily, after barely noticing that he still lay asleep. One step more would have brought him to the taffrail, when that step was suspended by a sound behind him, a sound like a faint groan. He turned, and looked at the sleeper on the deck. He knelt softly, and looked closer.
After thinking for a moment, he went back to the rear of the boat to see if there was a fisherman’s boat nearby behind them. Caught up in the new idea, he quickly passed Allan, barely noticing that he was still asleep. One more step would have taken him to the railing, but that step was paused by a sound behind him, like a faint groan. He turned and looked at the person sleeping on the deck. He knelt down gently and looked closer.
“It has come!” he whispered to himself. “Not to me—but to him.”
“It has come!” he whispered to himself. “Not to me—but to him.”
It had come, in the bright freshness of the morning; it had come, in the mystery and terror of a Dream. The face which Midwinter had last seen in perfect repose was now the distorted face of a suffering man. The perspiration stood thick on Allan’s forehead, and matted his curling hair. His partially opened eyes showed nothing but the white of the eyeball gleaming blindly. His outstretched hands scratched and struggled on the deck. From moment to moment he moaned and muttered helplessly; but the words that escaped him were lost in the grinding and gnashing of his teeth. There he lay—so near in the body to the friend who bent over him; so far away in the spirit, that the two might have been in different worlds—there he lay, with the morning sunshine on his face, in the torture of his dream.
It had arrived, in the bright freshness of the morning; it had arrived, in the mystery and terror of a Dream. The face that Midwinter had last seen in perfect calm was now the twisted face of a suffering man. Sweat dripped heavily from Allan’s forehead, matting his curly hair. His partially open eyes revealed nothing but the white of his eyeballs, gleaming blindly. His outstretched hands clawed and struggled on the deck. From moment to moment, he moaned and muttered helplessly, but the words that escaped him were drowned out by the grinding and gnashing of his teeth. There he lay—so physically close to the friend who leaned over him; so spiritually distant that the two might as well have been in different worlds—there he lay, with the morning sunlight on his face, trapped in the agony of his dream.
One question, and one only, rose in the mind of the man who was looking at him. What had the fatality which had imprisoned him in the wreck decreed that he should see?
One question, and one only, crossed the mind of the man who was looking at him. What had the fate that had trapped him in the wreck decided he should see?
Had the treachery of Sleep opened the gates of the grave to that one of the two Armadales whom the other had kept in ignorance of the truth? Was the murder of the father revealing itself to the son—there, on the very spot where the crime had been committed—in the vision of a dream?
Had the betrayal of Sleep opened the doors of the grave to one of the two Armadales while the other remained in the dark about the truth? Was the murder of the father showing itself to the son—right there, on the very spot where the crime took place—in a dream?
With that question overshadowing all else in his mind, the son of the homicide knelt on the deck, and looked at the son of the man whom his father’s hand had slain.
With that question weighing heavily on his mind, the son of the murder victim knelt on the deck and looked at the son of the man his father had killed.
The conflict between the sleeping body and the waking mind was strengthening every moment. The dreamer’s helpless groaning for deliverance grew louder; his hands raised themselves, and clutched at the empty air. Struggling with the all-mastering dread that still held him, Midwinter laid his hand gently on Allan’s forehead. Light as the touch was, there were mysterious sympathies in the dreaming man that answered it. His groaning ceased, and his hands dropped slowly. There was an instant of suspense and Midwinter looked closer. His breath just fluttered over the sleeper’s face. Before the next breath had risen to his lips, Allan suddenly sprang up on his knees—sprang up, as if the call of a trumpet had rung on his ear, awake in an instant.
The struggle between the sleeping body and the waking mind was intensifying with every moment. The dreamer’s desperate moans for escape grew louder; his hands lifted and grasped at the empty air. Battling the overwhelming fear that still held him, Midwinter gently placed his hand on Allan’s forehead. Even though the touch was light, there was something in the dreaming man that responded to it. His groaning stopped, and his hands fell slowly. There was a moment of tension as Midwinter leaned in closer, his breath barely brushing the sleeper’s face. Before the next breath reached his lips, Allan suddenly shot up onto his knees—leaping up as if a trumpet call had sounded in his ears, instantly awake.
“You have been dreaming,” said Midwinter, as the other looked at him wildly, in the first bewilderment of waking.
“You've been dreaming,” said Midwinter, as the other stared at him in confusion during the initial shock of waking up.
Allan’s eyes began to wander about the wreck, at first vacantly, then with a look of angry surprise. “Are we here still?” he said, as Midwinter helped him to his feet. “Whatever else I do on board this infernal ship,” he added, after a moment, “I won’t go to sleep again!”
Allan’s eyes started to drift around the wreck, at first blankly, then with a gaze of furious disbelief. “Are we still here?” he said, as Midwinter helped him up. “Whatever else I do on this damn ship,” he added after a moment, “I won’t be going to sleep again!”
As he said those words, his friend’s eyes searched his face in silent inquiry. They took a turn together on the deck.
As he said that, his friend's eyes scanned his face in quiet question. They walked together on the deck.
“Tell me your dream,” said Midwinter, with a strange tone of suspicion in his voice, and a strange appearance of abruptness in his manner.
“Tell me your dream,” Midwinter said, with a peculiar tone of suspicion in his voice and an odd abruptness in his manner.
“I can’t tell it yet,” returned Allan. “Wait a little till I’m my own man again.”
“I can’t say just yet,” Allan replied. “Give me a bit of time until I’m back to being myself again.”
They took another turn on the deck. Midwinter stopped, and spoke once more.
They took another turn on the deck. Midwinter paused and spoke again.
“Look at me for a moment, Allan,” he said.
“Look at me for a second, Allan,” he said.
There was something of the trouble left by the dream, and something of natural surprise at the strange request just addressed to him, in Allan’s face, as he turned it full on the speaker; but no shadow of ill-will, no lurking lines of distrust anywhere. Midwinter turned aside quickly, and hid, as he best might, an irrepressible outburst of relief.
There was a hint of the trouble leftover from the dream and a natural surprise at the odd request just made to him on Allan’s face as he turned it fully toward the speaker; but there was no sign of anger, no hidden traces of doubt at all. Midwinter quickly turned away and concealed, as best as he could, an uncontrollable wave of relief.
“Do I look a little upset?” asked Allan, taking his arm, and leading him on again. “Don’t make yourself nervous about me if I do. My head feels wild and giddy, but I shall soon get over it.”
“Do I look a bit upset?” Allan asked, taking his arm and leading him on again. “Don’t worry about me if I do. My head feels a bit wild and dizzy, but I’ll get over it soon.”
For the next few minutes they walked backward and forward in silence, the one bent on dismissing the terror of the dream from his thoughts, the other bent on discovering what the terror of the dream might be. Relieved of the dread that had oppressed it, the superstitious nature of Midwinter had leaped to its next conclusion at a bound. What if the sleeper had been visited by another revelation than the revelation of the Past? What if the dream had opened those unturned pages in the book of the Future which told the story of his life to come? The bare doubt that it might be so strengthened tenfold Midwinter’s longing to penetrate the mystery which Allan’s silence still kept a secret from him.
For the next few minutes, they walked back and forth in silence, one focused on pushing the fear of the dream out of his mind, while the other was eager to uncover what that fear might be. Free from the dread that had weighed him down, Midwinter's superstitious nature quickly jumped to another conclusion. What if the sleeper had experienced a revelation beyond just the past? What if the dream had revealed those unexplored pages in the book of the future that outlined his life ahead? The mere possibility of that idea amplified Midwinter’s desire to unravel the mystery that Allan's silence still kept hidden from him.
“Is your head more composed?” he asked. “Can you tell me your dream now?”
“Is your head feeling clearer?” he asked. “Can you share your dream with me now?”
While he put the question, a last memorable moment in the Adventure of the Wreck was at hand.
While he asked the question, a final memorable moment in the Adventure of the Wreck was approaching.
They had reached the stern, and were just turning again when Midwinter spoke. As Allan opened his lips to answer, he looked out mechanically to sea. Instead of replying, he suddenly ran to the taffrail, and waved his hat over his head, with a shout of exultation.
They had gotten to the back of the boat and were just about to turn around again when Midwinter spoke. As Allan opened his mouth to respond, he looked out at the sea without thinking. Instead of answering, he suddenly dashed to the back of the boat, waved his hat in the air, and shouted with excitement.
Midwinter joined him, and saw a large six-oared boat pulling straight for the channel of the Sound. A figure, which they both thought they recognized, rose eagerly in the stern-sheets and returned the waving of Allan’s hat. The boat came nearer, the steersman called to them cheerfully, and they recognized the doctor’s voice.
Midwinter joined him and saw a large six-oared boat heading straight for the channel of the Sound. A figure, which they both thought they recognized, stood eagerly in the back and waved back at Allan, who was waving his hat. As the boat got closer, the steersman called out cheerfully, and they recognized the doctor’s voice.
“Thank God you’re both above water!” said Mr. Hawbury, as they met him on the deck of the timber-ship. “Of all the winds of heaven, which wind blew you here?”
“Thank goodness you’re both safe!” said Mr. Hawbury, as they met him on the deck of the timber ship. “Out of all the winds in the world, which one brought you here?”
He looked at Midwinter as he made the inquiry, but it was Allan who told him the story of the night, and Allan who asked the doctor for information in return. The one absorbing interest in Midwinter’s mind—the interest of penetrating the mystery of the dream—kept him silent throughout. Heedless of all that was said or done about him, he watched Allan, and followed Allan, like a dog, until the time came for getting down into the boat. Mr. Hawbury’s professional eye rested on him curiously, noting his varying color, and the incessant restlessness of his hands. “I wouldn’t change nervous systems with that man for the largest fortune that could be offered me,” thought the doctor as he took the boat’s tiller, and gave the oarsmen their order to push off from the wreck.
He looked at Midwinter when he asked the question, but it was Allan who shared the story of the night, and Allan who then asked the doctor for information in return. The only thing on Midwinter's mind—the desire to unravel the mystery of the dream—kept him quiet the whole time. Ignoring everything happening around him, he watched Allan and followed him like a dog until it was time to get into the boat. Mr. Hawbury’s trained eye observed him carefully, noticing his changing color and the constant fidgeting of his hands. “I wouldn’t trade nervous systems with that man for any amount of money,” the doctor thought as he took the boat’s tiller and instructed the rowers to push off from the wreck.
Having reserved all explanations on his side until they were on their way back to Port St. Mary, Mr. Hawbury next addressed himself to the gratification of Allan’s curiosity. The circumstances which had brought him to the rescue of his two guests of the previous evening were simple enough. The lost boat had been met with at sea by some fishermen of Port Erin, on the western side of the island, who at once recognized it as the doctor’s property, and at once sent a messenger to make inquiry, at the doctor’s house. The man’s statement of what had happened had naturally alarmed Mr. Hawbury for the safety of Allan and his friend. He had immediately secured assistance, and, guided by the boatman’s advice, had made first for the most dangerous place on the coast—the only place, in that calm weather, in which an accident could have happened to a boat sailed by experienced men—the channel of the Sound. After thus accounting for his welcome appearance on the scene, the doctor hospitably insisted that his guests of the evening should be his guests of the morning as well. It would still be too early when they got back for the people at the hotel to receive them, and they would find bed and breakfast at Mr. Hawbury’s house.
Having kept all his explanations to himself until they were on their way back to Port St. Mary, Mr. Hawbury then turned his attention to satisfying Allan’s curiosity. The events that led him to rescue his two guests from the previous evening were quite straightforward. Some fishermen from Port Erin, located on the western side of the island, had come across the lost boat at sea and immediately recognized it as belonging to the doctor. They promptly sent a messenger to inquire at the doctor’s house. The man's account of what had transpired understandably worried Mr. Hawbury about Allan and his friend’s safety. He quickly gathered help and, following the boatman’s advice, headed first to the most perilous area along the coast—the only spot, in that calm weather, where an accident could happen to a boat piloted by experienced sailors—the channel of the Sound. After explaining his timely arrival, the doctor generously insisted that his evening guests would also be his guests in the morning. It would still be too early for them to be received at the hotel upon their return, so they would find both bed and breakfast at Mr. Hawbury’s home.
At the first pause in the conversation between Allan and the doctor, Midwinter, who had neither joined in the talk nor listened to the talk, touched his friend on the arm. “Are you better?” he asked, in a whisper. “Shall you soon be composed enough to tell me what I want to know?”
At the first break in the conversation between Allan and the doctor, Midwinter, who hadn’t participated or paid attention to the discussion, tapped his friend on the arm. “Are you feeling better?” he asked quietly. “Will you be calm enough soon to tell me what I need to know?”
Allan’s eyebrows contracted impatiently; the subject of the dream, and Midwinter’s obstinacy in returning to it, seemed to be alike distasteful to him. He hardly answered with his usual good humor. “I suppose I shall have no peace till I tell you,” he said, “so I may as well get it over at once.”
Allan furrowed his brows in frustration; the topic of the dream, along with Midwinter's stubbornness in bringing it up again, clearly annoyed him. He barely responded with his usual cheerful attitude. “I guess I won’t have any peace until I tell you,” he said, “so I might as well just get it over with.”
“No!” returned Midwinter, with a look at the doctor and his oarsmen. “Not where other people can hear it—not till you and I are alone.”
“No!” Midwinter replied, glancing at the doctor and his crew. “Not where others can hear it—not until you and I are alone.”
“If you wish to see the last, gentlemen, of your quarters for the night,” interposed the doctor, “now is your time! The coast will shut the vessel out in a minute more.”
“If you want to catch the last glimpse of your quarters for the night, gentlemen,” interjected the doctor, “now’s your chance! The coast will block the ship in just a minute.”
In silence on the one side and on the other, the two Armadales looked their last at the fatal ship. Lonely and lost they had found the wreck in the mystery of the summer night; lonely and lost they left the wreck in the radiant beauty of the summer morning.
In silence on one side and the other, the two Armadales took their final look at the doomed ship. They had discovered the wreck in the mystery of the summer night, and now, lonely and lost, they departed from it in the bright beauty of the summer morning.
An hour later the doctor had seen his guests established in their bedrooms, and had left them to take their rest until the breakfast hour arrived.
An hour later, the doctor had made sure his guests were settled in their bedrooms and had left them to rest until breakfast time.
Almost as soon as his back was turned, the doors of both rooms opened softly, and Allan and Midwinter met in the passage.
Almost as soon as he turned his back, the doors of both rooms opened quietly, and Allan and Midwinter ran into each other in the hallway.
“Can you sleep after what has happened?” asked Allan.
“Can you sleep after what just happened?” Allan asked.
Midwinter shook his head. “You were coming to my room, were you not?” he said. “What for?”
Midwinter shook his head. “You were coming to my room, weren’t you?” he said. “Why?”
“To ask you to keep me company. What were you coming to my room for?”
“To ask you to hang out with me. What were you coming to my room for?”
“To ask you to tell me your dream.”
“To ask you to share your dream.”
“Damn the dream! I want to forget all about it.”
“Forget the dream! I want to move on from it.”
“And I want to know all about it.”
“And I want to know everything about it.”
Both paused; both refrained instinctively from saying more. For the first time since the beginning of their friendship they were on the verge of a disagreement, and that on the subject of the dream. Allan’s good temper just stopped them on the brink.
Both paused; both instinctively held back from saying more. For the first time since their friendship began, they were on the verge of a disagreement, and it was about the dream. Allan’s good nature prevented them from crossing that line.
“You are the most obstinate fellow alive,” he said; “but if you will know all about it, you must know all about it, I suppose. Come into my room, and I’ll tell you.”
“You're the most stubborn person I know,” he said; “but if you really want to know everything, I guess you have to know everything. Come into my room, and I’ll tell you.”
He led the way, and Midwinter followed. The door closed and shut them in together.
He took the lead, and Midwinter followed. The door closed, locking them in together.
V. THE SHADOW OF THE FUTURE.
When Mr. Hawbury joined his guests in the breakfast-room, the strange contrast of character between them which he had noticed already was impressed on his mind more strongly than ever. One of them sat at the well-spread table, hungry and happy, ranging from dish to dish, and declaring that he had never made such a breakfast in his life. The other sat apart at the window; his cup thanklessly deserted before it was empty, his meat left ungraciously half-eaten on his plate. The doctor’s morning greeting to the two accurately expressed the differing impressions which they had produced on his mind.
When Mr. Hawbury joined his guests in the breakfast room, the stark contrast between their personalities, which he had already noticed, struck him more strongly than ever. One of them sat at the nicely laid table, eager and cheerful, moving from dish to dish and claiming he had never had such a great breakfast in his life. The other sat alone by the window; his cup was abandoned before it was finished, and his meat sat uneaten on his plate. The doctor's morning greeting to the two perfectly reflected the differing impressions they had made on his mind.
He clapped Allan on the shoulder, and saluted him with a joke. He bowed constrainedly to Midwinter, and said, “I am afraid you have not recovered the fatigues of the night.”
He patted Allan on the shoulder and greeted him with a joke. He awkwardly nodded to Midwinter and said, “I’m afraid you haven’t fully recovered from last night’s exhaustion.”
“It’s not the night, doctor, that has damped his spirits,” said Allan. “It’s something I have been telling him. It is not my fault, mind. If I had only known beforehand that he believed in dreams, I wouldn’t have opened my lips.”
“It’s not the night, doctor, that’s brought him down,” said Allan. “It’s something I’ve been telling him. It’s not my fault, just so you know. If I’d only known he believed in dreams, I wouldn’t have said a word.”
“Dreams?” repeated the doctor, looking at Midwinter directly, and addressing him under a mistaken impression of the meaning of Allan’s words. “With your constitution, you ought to be well used to dreaming by this time.”
“Dreams?” the doctor repeated, looking straight at Midwinter and addressing him with a misunderstanding of what Allan meant. “With your health, you should be used to dreaming by now.”
“This way, doctor; you have taken the wrong turning!” cried Allan. “I’m the dreamer, not he. Don’t look astonished; it wasn’t in this comfortable house; it was on board that confounded timber-ship. The fact is, I fell asleep just before you took us off the wreck; and it’s not to be denied that I had a very ugly dream. Well, when we got back here—”
“This way, doctor; you’ve taken the wrong turn!” Allan said. “I’m the dreamer, not him. Don’t look so surprised; it wasn’t in this cozy house; it was on that darn timber ship. The truth is, I fell asleep just before you rescued us from the wreck, and I can’t deny that I had a pretty disturbing dream. Well, when we got back here—”
“Why do you trouble Mr. Hawbury about a matter that cannot possibly interest him?” asked Midwinter, speaking for the first time, and speaking very impatiently.
“Why are you bothering Mr. Hawbury about something that can’t possibly interest him?” asked Midwinter, speaking for the first time and sounding very impatient.
“I beg your pardon,” returned the doctor, rather sharply; “so far as I have heard, the matter does interest me.”
"I apologize," the doctor replied, a bit harshly; "as far as I know, this matter does interest me."
“That’s right, doctor!” said Allan. “Be interested, I beg and pray; I want you to clear his head of the nonsense he has got in it now. What do you think? He will have it that my dream is a warning to me to avoid certain people; and he actually persists in saying that one of those people is—himself! Did you ever hear the like of it? I took great pains; I explained the whole thing to him. I said, warning be hanged; it’s all indigestion! You don’t know what I ate and drank at the doctor’s supper-table; I do. Do you think he would listen to me? Not he. You try him next; you’re a professional man, and he must listen to you. Be a good fellow, doctor, and give me a certificate of indigestion; I’ll show you my tongue with pleasure.”
“That’s right, doctor!” said Allan. “Please, I’m begging you; I need you to clear his head of the nonsense he believes. What do you think? He actually thinks my dream is a warning for me to stay away from certain people; and he insists that one of those people is—himself! Can you believe that? I put a lot of effort into explaining everything to him. I told him to forget about warnings; it’s all just indigestion! You have no idea what I ate and drank at the doctor’s dinner; I do. Do you think he would listen to me? Not at all. You try talking to him next; you’re a professional, and he has to listen to you. Be a good guy, doctor, and give me a certificate of indigestion; I’ll show you my tongue with pleasure.”
“The sight of your face is quite enough,” said Mr. Hawbury. “I certify, on the spot, that you never had such a thing as an indigestion in your life. Let’s hear about the dream, and see what we can make of it, if you have no objection, that is to say.”
“The sight of your face is more than enough,” Mr. Hawbury said. “I swear, right here and now, that you've never had indigestion a single day in your life. Let’s talk about the dream and see what we can figure out, if that’s okay with you, of course.”
Allan pointed at Midwinter with his fork.
Allan pointed at Midwinter with his fork.
“Apply to my friend, there,” he said; “he has got a much better account of it than I can give you. If you’ll believe me, he took it all down in writing from my own lips; and he made me sign it at the end, as if it was my ‘last dying speech and confession’ before I went to the gallows. Out with it, old boy—I saw you put it in your pocket-book—out with it!”
“Talk to my friend over there,” he said. “He has a much better version of it than I can provide. If you trust me, he wrote it all down from what I told him, and he made me sign it at the end, like it was my ‘last words and confession’ before heading to the gallows. Come on, old friend—I saw you put it in your pocket—let’s see it!”
“Are you really in earnest?” asked Midwinter, producing his pocketbook with a reluctance which was almost offensive under the circumstances, for it implied distrust of the doctor in the doctor’s own house.
“Are you really serious?” asked Midwinter, pulling out his wallet with a reluctance that was nearly insulting given the situation, as it suggested he didn’t trust the doctor in his own home.
Mr. Hawbury’s color rose. “Pray don’t show it to me, if you feel the least unwillingness,” he said, with the elaborate politeness of an offended man.
Mr. Hawbury's face flushed. “Please don't show it to me if you feel even a bit uncomfortable,” he said, with the formal politeness of someone who's been offended.
“Stuff and nonsense!” cried Allan. “Throw it over here!”
“That's ridiculous!” shouted Allan. “Toss it over here!”
Instead of complying with that characteristic request, Midwinter took the paper from the pocket-book, and, leaving his place, approached Mr. Hawbury. “I beg your pardon,” he said, as he offered the doctor the manuscript with his own hand. His eyes dropped to the ground, and his face darkened, while he made the apology. “A secret, sullen fellow,” thought the doctor, thanking him with formal civility; “his friend is worth ten thousand of him.” Midwinter went back to the window, and sat down again in silence, with the old impenetrable resignation which had once puzzled Mr. Brock.
Instead of following that usual request, Midwinter took the paper from his wallet and, leaving his spot, walked over to Mr. Hawbury. “Excuse me,” he said as he handed the doctor the manuscript himself. His gaze fell to the ground, and his expression grew somber while he apologized. “A secretive, grumpy guy,” thought the doctor, thanking him with formal politeness; “his friend is worth ten thousand of him.” Midwinter returned to the window and sat down again in silence, with the same unreadable acceptance that had once confused Mr. Brock.
“Read that, doctor,” said Allan, as Mr. Hawbury opened the written paper. “It’s not told in my roundabout way; but there’s nothing added to it, and nothing taken away. It’s exactly what I dreamed, and exactly what I should have written myself, if I had thought the thing worth putting down on paper, and if I had had the knack of writing—which,” concluded Allan, composedly stirring his coffee, “I haven’t, except it’s letters; and I rattle them off in no time.”
“Read this, doctor,” said Allan, as Mr. Hawbury opened the paper. “It’s not told in my usual roundabout way; but there’s nothing added and nothing removed. It’s exactly what I dreamed, and exactly what I would have written myself if I thought it was worth writing down, and if I had the talent for writing—which,” Allan added, calmly stirring his coffee, “I don’t, except for letters; and I can churn those out in no time.”
Mr. Hawbury spread the manuscript before him on the breakfast-table, and read these lines:
Mr. Hawbury laid the manuscript out in front of him on the breakfast table and read these lines:
“ALLAN ARMADALE’S DREAM.
"Allan Armadale's Dream."
“Early on the morning of June the first, eighteen hundred and fifty-one, I found myself (through circumstances which it is not important to mention in this place) left alone with a friend of mine—a young man about my own age—on board the French timber-ship named La Grace de Dieu, which ship then lay wrecked in the channel of the Sound between the main-land of the Isle of Man and the islet called the Calf. Having not been in bed the previous night, and feeling overcome by fatigue, I fell asleep on the deck of the vessel. I was in my usual good health at the time, and the morning was far enough advanced for the sun to have risen. Under these circumstances, and at that period of the day, I passed from sleeping to dreaming. As clearly as I can recollect it, after the lapse of a few hours, this was the succession of events presented to me by the dream:
“Early on the morning of June 1, 1851, I found myself (due to circumstances that aren’t important to mention here) alone with a friend of mine—a young man about my age—on board the French timber ship named La Grace de Dieu, which was then wrecked in the channel of the Sound between the Isle of Man and the islet called the Calf. Having not been in bed the previous night and feeling completely exhausted, I fell asleep on the deck of the ship. I was in good health at the time, and it was far enough into the morning for the sun to have risen. Under these circumstances, and at that time of day, I drifted from sleeping into dreaming. As clearly as I can remember, after a few hours, this was the sequence of events presented to me by the dream:
“1. The first event of which I was conscious was the appearance of my father. He took me silently by the hand; and we found ourselves in the cabin of a ship.
“1. The first thing I remembered was my father showing up. He quietly took my hand, and we ended up in the cabin of a ship.
“2. Water rose slowly over us in the cabin; and I and my father sank through the water together.
“2. Water rose slowly over us in the cabin; and my father and I sank through the water together.
“3. An interval of oblivion followed; and then the sense came to me of being left alone in the darkness.
“3. There was a period of blankness, and then I realized I was alone in the dark.”
“4. I waited.
4. I waited.
“5. The darkness opened, and showed me the vision—as in a picture—of a broad, lonely pool, surrounded by open ground. Above the farther margin of the pool I saw the cloudless western sky, red with the light of sunset.
“5. The darkness cleared, revealing a vision—like a picture—of a wide, isolated pool, surrounded by open land. Above the far edge of the pool, I saw the clear western sky, glowing red with the light of sunset.
“6. On the near margin of the pool there stood the Shadow of a Woman.
“6. On the edge of the pool, there stood the Shadow of a Woman.
“7. It was the shadow only. No indication was visible to me by which I could identify it, or compare it with any living creature. The long robe showed me that it was the shadow of a woman, and showed me nothing more.
“7. It was just a shadow. There was no sign for me to identify it or compare it to any living being. The long robe indicated that it was the shadow of a woman, and nothing more."
“8. The darkness closed again—remained with me for an interval—and opened for the second time.
“8. The darkness came back—stayed with me for a moment—and opened up again for a second time.
“9. I found myself in a room, standing before a long window. The only object of furniture or of ornament that I saw (or that I can now remember having seen) was a little statue placed near me. The window opened on a lawn and flower-garden; and the rain was pattering heavily against the glass.
“9. I found myself in a room, standing in front of a long window. The only piece of furniture or decoration I could see (or remember seeing) was a small statue next to me. The window looked out onto a lawn and flower garden; and the rain was drumming heavily against the glass.
“10. I was not alone in the room. Standing opposite to me at the window was the Shadow of a Man.
“10. I wasn't alone in the room. Standing across from me at the window was the Shadow of a Man.”
“11. I saw no more of it; I knew no more of it than I saw and knew of the shadow of the woman. But the shadow of the man moved. It stretched out its arm toward the statue; and the statue fell in fragments on the floor.
“11. I didn’t see anything else; I knew no more about it than what I saw and knew about the shadow of the woman. But the man’s shadow moved. It reached out its arm toward the statue, and the statue shattered into pieces on the floor."
“12. With a confused sensation in me, which was partly anger and partly distress, I stooped to look at the fragments. When I rose again, the Shadow had vanished, and I saw no more.
“12. Feeling a mix of confusion, anger, and distress, I bent down to see the pieces. When I stood up again, the Shadow was gone, and I could see nothing else.”
“13. The darkness opened for the third time, and showed me the Shadow of the Woman and the Shadow of the Man together.
“13. The darkness opened for the third time and revealed to me the Shadow of the Woman and the Shadow of the Man together.
“14. No surrounding scene (or none that I can now call to mind) was visible to me.
“14. I can’t recall any surrounding scene that I was aware of.”
“15. The Man-Shadow was the nearest; the Woman-Shadow stood back. From where she stood, there came a sound as of the pouring of a liquid softly. I saw her touch the shadow of the man with one hand, and with the other give him a glass. He took the glass, and gave it to me. In the moment when I put it to my lips, a deadly faintness mastered me from head to foot. When I came to my senses again, the Shadows had vanished, and the third vision was at an end.
“15. The Man-Shadow was closest; the Woman-Shadow stayed back. From where she was, I heard a sound like liquid pouring softly. I saw her touch the man’s shadow with one hand, and with the other, she handed him a glass. He took the glass and gave it to me. Just as I brought it to my lips, a wave of deadly weakness overwhelmed me. When I regained my senses, the Shadows had disappeared, and the third vision was over.”
“16. The darkness closed over me again; and the interval of oblivion followed.
“16. The darkness enveloped me once more, and I fell into a void of forgetfulness.”
“17. I was conscious of nothing more, till I felt the morning sun shine on my face, and heard my friend tell me that I had awakened from a dream....”
“17. I wasn’t aware of anything else until I felt the morning sun on my face and heard my friend say that I had woken up from a dream....”
After reading the narrative attentively to the last line (under which appeared Allan’s signature), the doctor looked across the breakfast-table at Midwinter, and tapped his fingers on the manuscript with a satirical smile.
After reading the story carefully to the last line (where Allan's signature was), the doctor looked across the breakfast table at Midwinter and tapped his fingers on the manuscript with a sarcastic smile.
“Many men, many opinions,” he said. “I don’t agree with either of you about this dream. Your theory,” he added, looking at Allan, with a smile, “we have disposed of already: the supper that you can’t digest is a supper which has yet to be discovered. My theory we will come to presently; your friend’s theory claims attention first.” He turned again to Midwinter, with his anticipated triumph over a man whom he disliked a little too plainly visible in his face and manner. “If I understand rightly,” he went on, “you believe that this dream is a warning! supernaturally addressed to Mr. Armadale, of dangerous events that are threatening him, and of dangerous people connected with those events whom he would do wisely to avoid. May I inquire whether you have arrived at this conclusion as an habitual believer in dreams, or as having reasons of your own for attaching especial importance to this one dream in particular?”
“Lots of guys, lots of opinions,” he said. “I don’t agree with either of you about this dream. Your theory,” he added, looking at Allan with a smile, “we’ve already dismissed: the dinner that you can’t digest is a dinner that hasn’t been found yet. My theory we’ll get to soon; your friend’s theory deserves our attention first.” He turned back to Midwinter, his anticipated triumph over someone he disliked a little too obviously showing on his face and in his manner. “If I’ve got this right,” he continued, “you think this dream is a warning! Supernaturally directed at Mr. Armadale, about dangerous events that are threatening him, and dangerous people tied to those events that he should wisely steer clear of. Can I ask if you reached this conclusion as someone who generally believes in dreams, or do you have your own reasons for considering this one dream particularly significant?”
“You have stated what my conviction is quite accurately,” returned Midwinter, chafing under the doctor’s looks and tones. “Excuse me if I ask you to be satisfied with that admission, and to let me keep my reasons to myself.”
“You've described my beliefs perfectly,” said Midwinter, annoyed by the doctor’s expressions and tone. “I hope you don't mind if I ask you to be okay with that confession and let me keep my reasons to myself.”
“That’s exactly what he said to me,” interposed Allan. “I don’t believe he has got any reasons at all.”
"That's exactly what he told me," Allan interrupted. "I don't think he has any reasons at all."
“Gently! gently!” said Mr. Hawbury. “We can discuss the subject without intruding ourselves into anybody’s secrets. Let us come to my own method of dealing with the dream next. Mr. Midwinter will probably not be surprised to hear that I look at this matter from an essentially practical point of view.”
“Careful! Careful!” Mr. Hawbury said. “We can talk about this topic without invading anyone's privacy. Now, let’s move on to my approach to handling the dream. Mr. Midwinter probably won’t be shocked to learn that I view this issue from a fundamentally practical perspective.”
“I shall not be at all surprised,” retorted Midwinter. “The view of a medical man, when he has a problem in humanity to solve, seldom ranges beyond the point of his dissecting-knife.”
“I won't be at all surprised,” Midwinter shot back. “A doctor's perspective, when faced with a human issue, rarely goes beyond the edge of their scalpel.”
The doctor was a little nettled on his side. “Our limits are not quite so narrow as that,” he said; “but I willingly grant you that there are some articles of your faith in which we doctors don’t believe. For example, we don’t believe that a reasonable man is justified in attaching a supernatural interpretation to any phenomenon which comes within the range of his senses, until he has certainly ascertained that there is no such thing as a natural explanation of it to be found in the first instance.”
The doctor was a bit annoyed. “Our limits aren’t that strict,” he said; “but I admit there are some beliefs you have that we doctors don’t share. For example, we don’t think it’s reasonable for someone to give a supernatural explanation to anything they can sense without first confirming there isn’t a natural explanation for it.”
“Come; that’s fair enough, I’m sure,” exclaimed Allan. “He hit you hard with the ‘dissecting-knife,’ doctor; and now you have hit him back again with your ‘natural explanation.’ Let’s have it.”
“Come on; that’s reasonable, I’m sure,” Allan exclaimed. “He really went after you with the ‘dissecting knife,’ doctor; and now you’ve responded with your ‘natural explanation.’ Let’s hear it.”
“By all means,” said Mr. Hawbury. “Here it is. There is nothing at all extraordinary in my theory of dreams: it is the theory accepted by the great mass of my profession. A dream is the reproduction, in the sleeping state of the brain, of images and impressions produced on it in the waking state; and this reproduction is more or less involved, imperfect, or contradictory, as the action of certain faculties in the dreamer is controlled more or less completely by the influence of sleep. Without inquiring further into this latter part of the subject—a very curious and interesting part of it—let us take the theory, roughly and generally, as I have just stated it, and apply it at once to the dream now under consideration.” He took up the written paper from the table, and dropped the formal tone (as of a lecturer addressing an audience) into which he had insensibly fallen. “I see one event already in this dream,” he resumed, “which I know to be the reproduction of a waking impression produced on Mr. Armadale in my own presence. If he will only help me by exerting his memory, I don’t despair of tracing back the whole succession of events set down here to something that he has said or thought, or seen or done, in the four-and-twenty hours, or less, which preceded his falling asleep on the deck of the timber-ship.”
“Of course,” Mr. Hawbury said. “Here it is. There’s nothing unusual about my theory of dreams; it’s the one mostly accepted by my colleagues. A dream is the brain's replay of images and impressions gathered while awake, and this replay can be more or less complex, incomplete, or contradictory, depending on how much the dreamer’s faculties are affected by sleep. Without diving deeper into this fascinating and interesting aspect, let’s take the theory as I’ve just described it and apply it directly to the dream we’re discussing.” He picked up the paper from the table and shifted from the formal tone he had unconsciously adopted as if he were giving a lecture. “I already see one event in this dream,” he continued, “that I know is the replay of an impression Mr. Armadale experienced while I was present. If he can just help me by using his memory, I’m hopeful we can trace back the entire sequence of events written here to something he said, thought, saw, or did in the last twenty-four hours or less before he fell asleep on the deck of the timber ship.”
“I’ll exert my memory with the greatest pleasure,” said Allan. “Where shall we start from?”
“I'll put my memory to work with great pleasure,” said Allan. “Where should we start?”
“Start by telling me what you did yesterday, before I met you and your friend on the road to this place,” replied Mr. Hawbury. “We will say, you got up and had your breakfast. What next?”
“Start by telling me what you did yesterday, before I met you and your friend on the road to this place,” Mr. Hawbury replied. “Let's say you got up and had your breakfast. What happened next?”
“We took a carriage next,” said Allan, “and drove from Castletown to Douglas to see my old friend, Mr. Brock, off by the steamer to Liverpool. We came back to Castletown and separated at the hotel door. Midwinter went into the house, and I went on to my yacht in the harbor. By-the-bye, doctor, remember you have promised to go cruising with us before we leave the Isle of Man.”
“We took a carriage next,” said Allan, “and drove from Castletown to Douglas to see my old friend, Mr. Brock, off by the steamer to Liverpool. We came back to Castletown and split up at the hotel door. Midwinter went inside, and I headed to my yacht in the harbor. By the way, doctor, don’t forget you promised to go cruising with us before we leave the Isle of Man.”
“Many thanks; but suppose we keep to the matter in hand. What next?”
“Thanks a lot; but how about we stick to the topic? What’s next?”
Allan hesitated. In both senses of the word his mind was at sea already.
Allan hesitated. In every sense of the phrase, his mind was already lost at sea.
“What did you do on board the yacht?”
“What did you do on the yacht?”
“Oh, I know! I put the cabin to rights—thoroughly to rights. I give you my word of honor, I turned every blessed thing topsy-turvy. And my friend there came off in a shore-boat and helped me. Talking of boats, I have never asked you yet whether your boat came to any harm last night. If there’s any damage done, I insist on being allowed to repair it.”
“Oh, I know! I tidied up the cabin—completely. I swear, I turned everything upside down. And my friend over there came in a small boat and helped me. Speaking of boats, I haven’t asked you yet if your boat got damaged last night. If there’s any damage, I insist on fixing it.”
The doctor abandoned all further attempts at the cultivation of Allan’s memory in despair.
The doctor gave up on trying to improve Allan’s memory in frustration.
“I doubt if we shall be able to reach our object conveniently in this way,” he said. “It will be better to take the events of the dream in their regular order, and to ask the questions that naturally suggest themselves as we go on. Here are the first two events to begin with. You dream that your father appears to you—that you and he find yourselves in the cabin of a ship—that the water rises over you, and that you sink in it together. Were you down in the cabin of the wreck, may I ask?”
“I’m not sure we’ll be able to achieve our goal easily like this,” he said. “It would be better to go through the events of the dream in their usual order and to ask the questions that come up naturally as we proceed. Here are the first two events to start with. You dream that your father shows up—that you both find yourselves in the cabin of a ship—that the water rises over you, and that you sink in it together. Were you down in the cabin of the wreck, if I may ask?”
“I couldn’t be down there,” replied Allan, “as the cabin was full of water. I looked in and saw it, and shut the door again.”
“I couldn’t be down there,” Allan replied, “because the cabin was filled with water. I looked inside and saw it, then closed the door again.”
“Very good,” said Mr. Hawbury. “Here are the waking impressions clear enough, so far. You have had the cabin in your mind; and you have had the water in your mind; and the sound of the channel current (as I well know without asking) was the last sound in your ears when you went to sleep. The idea of drowning comes too naturally out of such impressions as these to need dwelling on. Is there anything else before we go on? Yes; there is one more circumstance left to account for.”
“Great,” said Mr. Hawbury. “We’ve got your waking impressions clear enough for now. You’ve been thinking about the cabin; you’ve had the water on your mind; and the sound of the current in the channel (which I know without needing to ask) was the last thing you heard before you fell asleep. The thought of drowning makes perfect sense given these impressions, so there's no need to elaborate. Is there anything else before we continue? Yes, there’s one more detail we need to address.”
“The most important circumstance of all,” remarked Midwinter, joining in the conversation, without stirring from his place at the window.
“The most important thing of all,” Midwinter said, joining the conversation without getting up from his spot at the window.
“You mean the appearance of Mr. Armadale’s father? I was just coming to that,” answered Mr. Hawbury. “Is your father alive?” he added, addressing himself to Allan once more.
“You mean Mr. Armadale’s father? I was just getting to that,” replied Mr. Hawbury. “Is your father still alive?” he continued, speaking to Allan again.
“My father died before I was born.”
“My dad passed away before I was born.”
The doctor started. “This complicates it a little,” he said. “How did you know that the figure appearing to you in the dream was the figure of your father?”
The doctor began, “This makes things a bit more complicated,” he said. “How did you know that the figure you saw in the dream was your father?”
Allan hesitated again. Midwinter drew his chair a little away from the window, and looked at the doctor attentively for the first time.
Allan hesitated once more. Midwinter pulled his chair slightly away from the window and focused on the doctor for the first time, paying close attention.
“Was your father in your thoughts before you went to sleep?” pursued Mr. Hawbury. “Was there any description of him—any portrait of him at home—in your mind?”
“Were you thinking about your father before you went to sleep?” Mr. Hawbury asked. “Did you have any image of him—any picture of him in your mind from home?”
“Of course there was!” cried Allan, suddenly seizing the lost recollection. “Midwinter! you remember the miniature you found on the floor of the cabin when we were putting the yacht to rights? You said I didn’t seem to value it; and I told you I did, because it was a portrait of my father—”
“Of course there was!” Allan exclaimed, suddenly recalling the memory. “Midwinter! Do you remember the miniature you found on the floor of the cabin when we were tidying up the yacht? You said I didn’t seem to care about it, and I told you I did, because it was a portrait of my father—”
“And was the face in the dream like the face in the miniature?” asked Mr. Hawbury.
“And was the face in the dream like the face in the picture?” asked Mr. Hawbury.
“Exactly like! I say, doctor, this is beginning to get interesting!”
“Just like that! I say, doc, this is starting to get interesting!”
“What do you say now?” asked Mr. Hawbury, turning toward the window again.
“What do you say now?” Mr. Hawbury asked, turning back to the window.
Midwinter hurriedly left his chair, and placed himself at the table with Allan. Just as he had once already taken refuge from the tyranny of his own superstition in the comfortable common sense of Mr. Brock, so, with the same headlong eagerness, with the same straightforward sincerity of purpose, he now took refuge in the doctor’s theory of dreams. “I say what my friend says,” he answered, flushing with a sudden enthusiasm; “this is beginning to get interesting. Go on; pray go on.”
Midwinter quickly got up from his chair and joined Allan at the table. Just like he had once found comfort from the burden of his own superstitions in Mr. Brock's practical wisdom, he now eagerly sought solace in the doctor's dream theory. “I agree with my friend,” he said, feeling a rush of excitement; “this is starting to get interesting. Please, continue.”
The doctor looked at his strange guest more indulgently than he had looked yet. “You are the only mystic I have met with,” he said, “who is willing to give fair evidence fair play. I don’t despair of converting you before our inquiry comes to an end. Let us get on to the next set of events,” he resumed, after referring for a moment to the manuscript. “The interval of oblivion which is described as succeeding the first of the appearances in the dream may be easily disposed of. It means, in plain English, the momentary cessation of the brain’s intellectual action, while a deeper wave of sleep flows over it, just as the sense of being alone in the darkness, which follows, indicates the renewal of that action, previous to the reproduction of another set of impressions. Let us see what they are. A lonely pool, surrounded by an open country; a sunset sky on the further side of the pool; and the shadow of a woman on the near side. Very good; now for it, Mr. Armadale! How did that pool get into your head? The open country you saw on your way from Castletown to this place. But we have no pools or lakes hereabouts; and you can have seen none recently elsewhere, for you came here after a cruise at sea. Must we fall back on a picture, or a book, or a conversation with your friend?”
The doctor looked at his strange guest with more tolerance than he had so far. “You’re the only mystic I’ve met,” he said, “who is willing to give fair evidence a fair shot. I’m not giving up on convincing you before our inquiry wraps up. Let’s move on to the next set of events,” he continued after glancing at the manuscript for a moment. “The period of forgetfulness described after the first appearance in the dream can be easily explained. It basically means the temporary stop of the brain’s thinking processes, while a deeper wave of sleep washes over it, just like the feeling of being alone in the dark that follows indicates the brain's activity starting up again, preparing for another set of impressions. Let’s find out what those are. A lonely pool, surrounded by open countryside; a sunset sky on the opposite side of the pool; and the shadow of a woman on this side. Very good; now let's get to it, Mr. Armadale! How did that pool come to your mind? The open countryside you saw on your way from Castletown to here. But we don’t have any pools or lakes around here, and you haven’t seen any recently elsewhere because you arrived here after being at sea. Should we consider a picture, or a book, or a chat with your friend?”
Allan looked at Midwinter. “I don’t remember talking about pools or lakes,” he said. “Do you?”
Allan looked at Midwinter. “I don’t remember discussing pools or lakes,” he said. “Do you?”
Instead of answering the question, Midwinter suddenly appealed to the doctor.
Instead of answering the question, Midwinter suddenly turned to the doctor.
“Have you got the last number of the Manx newspaper?” he asked.
“Do you have the latest issue of the Manx newspaper?” he asked.
The doctor produced it from the sideboard. Midwinter turned to the page containing those extracts from the recently published “Travels in Australia,” which had roused Allan’s, interest on the previous evening, and the reading of which had ended by sending his friend to sleep. There—in the passage describing the sufferings of the travelers from thirst, and the subsequent discovery which saved their lives—there, appearing at the climax of the narrative, was the broad pool of water which had figured in Allan’s dream!
The doctor brought it out from the sideboard. Midwinter flipped to the page featuring those excerpts from the recently released “Travels in Australia,” which had caught Allan’s interest the night before, and reading through them had eventually put his friend to sleep. There—in the section detailing the travelers' hardships due to thirst, followed by the discovery that saved their lives—there, at the peak of the story, was the wide pool of water that had appeared in Allan’s dream!
“Don’t put away the paper,” said the doctor, when Midwinter had shown it to him, with the necessary explanation. “Before we are at the end of the inquiry, it is quite possible we may want that extract again. We have got at the pool. How about the sunset? Nothing of that sort is referred to in the newspaper extract. Search your memory again, Mr. Armadale; we want your waking impression of a sunset, if you please.”
“Don’t put the paper away,” said the doctor when Midwinter showed it to him, along with the necessary explanation. “Before we finish our investigation, it’s very likely we might need that extract again. We’ve got to the pool. What about the sunset? There’s nothing like that mentioned in the newspaper extract. Think back again, Mr. Armadale; we’re looking for your clear memory of a sunset, if you don’t mind.”
Once more, Allan was at a loss for an answer; and, once more, Midwinter’s ready memory helped him through the difficulty.
Once again, Allan didn't know how to respond; and once again, Midwinter's quick memory got him out of the jam.
“I think I can trace our way back to this impression, as I traced our way back to the other,” he said, addressing the doctor. “After we got here yesterday afternoon, my friend and I took a long walk over the hills—”
“I think I can find our way back to this impression, just like I found our way back to the other one,” he said, talking to the doctor. “After we arrived here yesterday afternoon, my friend and I took a long walk over the hills—”
“That’s it!” interposed Allan. “I remember. The sun was setting as we came back to the hotel for supper, and it was such a splendid red sky, we both stopped to look at it. And then we talked about Mr. Brock, and wondered how far he had got on his journey home. My memory may be a slow one at starting, doctor; but when it’s once set going, stop it if you can! I haven’t half done yet.”
“That’s it!” Allan interrupted. “I remember now. The sun was setting when we returned to the hotel for dinner, and the sky was such a gorgeous red that we both paused to admire it. Then we chatted about Mr. Brock and speculated on how far along he was on his way home. My memory might take a bit to kick in, doctor; but once it gets going, good luck trying to stop it! I’m just getting started.”
“Wait one minute, in mercy to Mr. Midwinter’s memory and mine,” said the doctor. “We have traced back to your waking impressions the vision of the open country, the pool, and the sunset. But the Shadow of the Woman has not been accounted for yet. Can you find us the original of this mysterious figure in the dream landscape?”
“Hold on a minute, for the sake of Mr. Midwinter’s memory and mine,” said the doctor. “We've linked your waking thoughts to the vision of the open country, the pool, and the sunset. But we still haven’t figured out the Shadow of the Woman. Can you help us identify the source of this mysterious figure in the dream?”
Allan relapsed into his former perplexity, and Midwinter waited for what was to come, with his eyes fixed in breathless interest on the doctor’s face. For the first time there was unbroken silence in the room. Mr. Hawbury looked interrogatively from Allan to Allan’s friend. Neither of them answered him. Between the shadow and the shadow’s substance there was a great gulf of mystery, impenetrable alike to all three of them.
Allan fell back into his previous confusion, and Midwinter waited for what would happen next, his eyes locked in intense focus on the doctor’s face. For the first time, there was complete silence in the room. Mr. Hawbury looked questioningly from Allan to Allan’s friend. Neither of them replied. Between the shadow and what it represented, there was a vast chasm of mystery, impossible for all three of them to understand.
“Patience,” said the doctor, composedly. “Let us leave the figure by the pool for the present and try if we can’t pick her up again as we go on. Allow me to observe, Mr. Midwinter, that it is not very easy to identify a shadow; but we won’t despair. This impalpable lady of the lake may take some consistency when we next meet with her.”
“Patience,” the doctor said calmly. “Let’s leave the figure by the pool for now and see if we can’t find her again as we continue. I’d like to point out, Mr. Midwinter, that it’s not very easy to recognize a shadow; but we won’t lose hope. This elusive lady of the lake might become more defined when we encounter her next.”
Midwinter made no reply. From that moment his interest in the inquiry began to flag.
Midwinter said nothing. From that point on, he started to lose interest in the investigation.
“What is the next scene in the dream?” pursued Mr. Hawbury, referring to the manuscript. “Mr. Armadale finds himself in a room. He is standing before a long window opening on a lawn and flower-garden, and the rain is pattering against the glass. The only thing he sees in the room is a little statue; and the only company he has is the Shadow of a Man standing opposite to him. The Shadow stretches out its arm, and the statue falls in fragments on the floor; and the dreamer, in anger and distress at the catastrophe (observe, gentlemen, that here the sleeper’s reasoning faculty wakes up a little, and the dream passes rationally, for a moment, from cause to effect), stoops to look at the broken pieces. When he looks up again, the scene has vanished. That is to say, in the ebb and flow of sleep, it is the turn of the flow now, and the brain rests a little. What’s the matter, Mr. Armadale? Has that restive memory of yours run away with you again?”
“What’s the next scene in the dream?” Mr. Hawbury asked, looking at the manuscript. “Mr. Armadale finds himself in a room. He stands in front of a long window that opens to a lawn and flower garden, with rain pattering against the glass. The only thing in the room is a small statue, and the only company he has is the Shadow of a Man standing across from him. The Shadow reaches out its arm, and the statue shatters into pieces on the floor; the dreamer, filled with anger and distress at the accident (note, gentlemen, that here the sleeper's reasoning starts to wake up a bit, and the dream momentarily shifts from cause to effect), bends down to examine the broken fragments. When he looks up again, the scene has disappeared. In other words, as sleep ebbs and flows, it’s currently in the flow phase, and the brain takes a brief rest. What’s going on, Mr. Armadale? Has that restless memory of yours escaped from you again?”
“Yes,” said Allan. “I’m off at full gallop. I’ve run the broken statue to earth; it’s nothing more nor less than a china shepherdess I knocked off the mantel-piece in the hotel coffee-room, when I rang the bell for supper last night. I say, how well we get on; don’t we? It’s like guessing a riddle. Now, then, Midwinter! your turn next.”
“Yes,” said Allan. “I’m off at full speed. I’ve tracked down the broken statue; it’s just a china shepherdess I accidentally knocked off the mantel in the hotel coffee room when I rang the bell for supper last night. I have to say, we’re doing great together, aren’t we? It’s like solving a riddle. Now, Midwinter! It’s your turn next.”
“No!” said the doctor. “My turn, if you please. I claim the long window, the garden, and the lawn, as my property. You will find the long window, Mr. Armadale, in the next room. If you look out, you’ll see the garden and lawn in front of it; and, if you’ll exert that wonderful memory of yours, you will recollect that you were good enough to take special and complimentary notice of my smart French window and my neat garden, when I drove you and your friend to Port St. Mary yesterday.”
“No!” said the doctor. “It’s my turn, if you don’t mind. I’m claiming the long window, the garden, and the lawn as mine. You’ll find the long window, Mr. Armadale, in the next room. If you look out, you’ll see the garden and lawn right in front of it; and, if you use that amazing memory of yours, you might remember that you specifically complimented my stylish French window and my tidy garden when I drove you and your friend to Port St. Mary yesterday.”
“Quite right,” rejoined Allan; “so I did. But what about the rain that fell in the dream? I haven’t seen a drop of rain for the last week.”
“That's true,” Allan replied; “I did. But what about the rain that fell in the dream? I haven’t seen a drop of rain in the last week.”
Mr. Hawbury hesitated. The Manx newspaper which had been left on the table caught his eye. “If we can think of nothing else,” he said, “let us try if we can’t find the idea of the rain where we found the idea of the pool.” He looked through the extract carefully. “I have got it!” he exclaimed. “Here is rain described as having fallen on these thirsty Australian travelers, before they discovered the pool. Behold the shower, Mr. Armadale, which got into your mind when you read the extract to your friend last night! And behold the dream, Mr. Midwinter, mixing up separate waking impressions just as usual!”
Mr. Hawbury hesitated. The Manx newspaper left on the table caught his attention. “If we can’t think of anything else,” he said, “let’s see if we can find the idea of the rain like we found the idea of the pool.” He examined the extract closely. “I’ve got it!” he exclaimed. “Here’s rain described as having fallen on these thirsty Australian travelers before they found the pool. Look at the shower, Mr. Armadale, that popped into your mind when you read the extract to your friend last night! And look at the dream, Mr. Midwinter, mixing up different waking impressions just like always!”
“Can you find the waking impression which accounts for the human figure at the window?” asked Midwinter; “or are we to pass over the Shadow of the Man as we have passed over the Shadow of the Woman already?”
“Can you see the clear outline that explains the person at the window?” asked Midwinter; “or should we ignore the Shadow of the Man like we already did with the Shadow of the Woman?”
He put the question with scrupulous courtesy of manner, but with a tone of sarcasm in his voice which caught the doctor’s ear, and set up the doctor’s controversial bristles on the instant.
He asked the question with great politeness, but there was a hint of sarcasm in his voice that alerted the doctor and immediately put him on the defensive.
“When you are picking up shells on the beach, Mr. Midwinter, you usually begin with the shells that lie nearest at hand,” he rejoined. “We are picking up facts now; and those that are easiest to get at are the facts we will take first. Let the Shadow of the Man and the Shadow of the Woman pair off together for the present; we won’t lose sight of them, I promise you. All in good time, my dear sir; all in good time!”
“When you're collecting shells on the beach, Mr. Midwinter, you typically start with the ones that are closest to you,” he replied. “We're collecting facts now; and the easiest ones to grab are the ones we'll take first. Let the Shadow of the Man and the Shadow of the Woman stay together for now; we won’t forget about them, I promise. In due time, my dear sir; in due time!”
He, too, was polite, and he, too, was sarcastic. The short truce between the opponents was at an end already. Midwinter returned significantly to his former place by the window. The doctor instantly turned his back on the window more significantly still. Allan, who never quarreled with anybody’s opinion, and never looked below the surface of anybody’s conduct, drummed cheerfully on the table with the handle of his knife. “Go on, doctor!” he called out; “my wonderful memory is as fresh as ever.”
He was polite, and he was also sarcastic. The brief peace between the opponents was already over. Midwinter returned dramatically to his original spot by the window. The doctor immediately turned his back to the window even more dramatically. Allan, who never argued with anyone’s opinion and never examined anyone’s actions too closely, happily tapped on the table with the handle of his knife. “Come on, doctor!” he called out; “my amazing memory is as sharp as ever.”
“Is it?” said Mr. Hawbury, referring again to the narrative of the dream. “Do you remember what happened when you and I were gossiping with the landlady at the bar of the hotel last night?”
“Is it?” Mr. Hawbury said, bringing up the story of the dream again. “Do you remember what happened when you and I were chatting with the landlady at the hotel bar last night?”
“Of course I do! You were kind enough to hand me a glass of brandy-and-water, which the landlady had just mixed for your own drinking. And I was obliged to refuse it because, as I told you, the taste of brandy always turns me sick and faint, mix it how you please.”
“Of course I do! You were nice enough to give me a glass of brandy-and-water, which the landlady had just mixed for you. And I had to turn it down because, as I mentioned, the taste of brandy always makes me feel sick and faint, no matter how you mix it.”
“Exactly so,” returned the doctor. “And here is the incident reproduced in the dream. You see the man’s shadow and the woman’s shadow together this time. You hear the pouring out of liquid (brandy from the hotel bottle, and water from the hotel jug); the glass is handed by the woman-shadow (the landlady) to the man-shadow (myself); the man-shadow hands it to you (exactly what I did); and the faintness (which you had previously described to me) follows in due course. I am shocked to identify these mysterious appearances, Mr. Midwinter, with such miserably unromantic originals as a woman who keeps a hotel, and a man who physics a country district. But your friend himself will tell you that the glass of brandy-and-water was prepared by the landlady, and that it reached him by passing from her hand to mine. We have picked up the shadows, exactly as I anticipated; and we have only to account now—which may be done in two words—for the manner of their appearance in the dream. After having tried to introduce the waking impression of the doctor and the landlady separately, in connection with the wrong set of circumstances, the dreaming mind comes right at the third trial, and introduces the doctor and the landlady together, in connection with the right set of circumstances. There it is in a nutshell!—Permit me to hand you back the manuscript, with my best thanks for your very complete and striking confirmation of the rational theory of dreams.” Saying those words, Mr. Hawbury returned the written paper to Midwinter, with the pitiless politeness of a conquering man.
“Exactly,” replied the doctor. “And here’s the incident shown in the dream. You can see the man’s shadow and the woman’s shadow together this time. You hear the sound of liquid being poured (brandy from the hotel bottle and water from the hotel jug); the glass is handed by the woman’s shadow (the landlady) to the man’s shadow (myself); the man’s shadow then hands it to you (just like I did); and the faintness (which you described to me earlier) follows in due time. I'm surprised to recognize these mysterious figures, Mr. Midwinter, as such disappointingly non-romantic originals as a woman running a hotel and a man working in a rural area. But your friend himself will tell you that the glass of brandy and water was made by the landlady and that it came to him by being passed from her hand to mine. We've identified the shadows, just as I expected; now we just need to explain how they appeared in the dream, which can be done in two words. After trying to link the waking impressions of the doctor and the landlady separately with the wrong circumstances, the dreaming mind finally gets it right on the third attempt, connecting the doctor and the landlady together with the correct set of circumstances. There you have it in a nutshell!—Allow me to return the manuscript to you, and thank you for your thorough and impressive confirmation of the rational theory of dreams.” With those words, Mr. Hawbury handed the written paper back to Midwinter, with the cold politeness of a victorious man.
“Wonderful! not a point missed anywhere from beginning to end! By Jupiter!” cried Allan, with the ready reverence of intense ignorance. “What a thing science is!”
“Awesome! Not a single point was overlooked from start to finish! By Jupiter!” exclaimed Allan, with the eager respect of someone who knows little. “What an amazing thing science is!”
“Not a point missed, as you say,” remarked the doctor, complacently. “And yet I doubt if we have succeeded in convincing your friend.”
“Not a point missed, as you say,” said the doctor, smiling. “And yet I doubt we’ve managed to convince your friend.”
“You have not convinced me,” said Midwinter. “But I don’t presume on that account to say that you are wrong.”
“You have not convinced me,” said Midwinter. “But I’m not going to say that you’re wrong because of that.”
He spoke quietly, almost sadly. The terrible conviction of the supernatural origin of the dream, from which he had tried to escape, had possessed itself of him again. All his interest in the argument was at an end; all his sensitiveness to its irritating influences was gone. In the case of any other man, Mr. Hawbury would have been mollified by such a concession as his adversary had now made to him; but he disliked Midwinter too cordially to leave him in the peaceable enjoyment of an opinion of his own.
He spoke softly, almost with sadness. The awful certainty of the dream's supernatural origin, which he had tried to escape, had taken hold of him again. He had lost all interest in the argument; his sensitivity to its annoying influences had vanished. For any other man, Mr. Hawbury would have been appeased by the concession his opponent had just made to him; but he disliked Midwinter too much to allow him to peacefully hold on to his own opinion.
“Do you admit,” asked the doctor, more pugnaciously than ever, “that I have traced back every event of the dream to a waking impression which preceded it in Mr. Armadale’s mind?”
“Do you admit,” asked the doctor, more aggressively than ever, “that I have traced back every event of the dream to a waking impression that came before it in Mr. Armadale’s mind?”
“I have no wish to deny that you have done so,” said Midwinter, resignedly.
“I don't want to deny that you've done that,” said Midwinter, resignedly.
“Have I identified the shadows with their living originals?”
“Have I matched the shadows with their real-life counterparts?”
“You have identified them to your own satisfaction, and to my friend’s satisfaction. Not to mine.”
“You’re convinced you’ve identified them, and so is my friend. But not me.”
“Not to yours? Can you identify them?”
“Not yours? Can you identify them?”
“No. I can only wait till the living originals stand revealed in the future.”
“No. I can only wait until the real ones are revealed in the future.”
“Spoken like an oracle, Mr. Midwinter! Have you any idea at present of who those living originals may be?”
“Spoken like a fortune teller, Mr. Midwinter! Do you have any idea right now who those living originals might be?”
“I have. I believe that coming events will identify the Shadow of the Woman with a person whom my friend has not met with yet; and the Shadow of the Man with myself.”
“I have. I think that future events will link the Woman's Shadow to a person my friend hasn’t met yet, and the Man's Shadow to me.”
Allan attempted to speak. The doctor stopped him. “Let us clearly understand this,” he said to Midwinter. “Leaving your own case out of the question for the moment, may I ask how a shadow, which has no distinguishing mark about it, is to be identified with a living woman whom your friend doesn’t know?”
Allan tried to speak. The doctor interrupted him. “Let’s be clear about this,” he said to Midwinter. “Putting your own situation aside for now, can you tell me how a shadow, which doesn’t have any distinguishing features, can be linked to a living woman that your friend doesn’t recognize?”
Midwinter’s color rose a little. He began to feel the lash of the doctor’s logic.
Midwinter's color brightened a bit. He started to feel the sting of the doctor's reasoning.
“The landscape picture of the dream has its distinguishing marks,” he replied; “and in that landscape the living woman will appear when the living woman is first seen.”
“The landscape image of the dream has its unique features,” he replied; “and in that landscape, the real woman will emerge when the real woman is first noticed.”
“The same thing will happen, I suppose,” pursued the doctor, “with the man-shadow which you persist in identifying with yourself. You will be associated in the future with a statue broken in your friend’s presence, with a long window looking out on a garden, and with a shower of rain pattering against the glass? Do you say that?”
“The same thing will happen, I guess,” the doctor continued, “with the man-shadow that you keep insisting is you. You’ll be linked in the future to a statue that broke while your friend was there, to a long window overlooking a garden, and to the sound of rain hitting the glass. Do you agree with that?”
“I say that.”
“I said that.”
“And so again, I presume, with the next vision? You and the mysterious woman will be brought together in some place now unknown, and will present to Mr. Armadale some liquid yet unnamed, which will turn him faint?—Do you seriously tell me you believe this?”
“And so again, I guess, with the next vision? You and the mysterious woman will meet up somewhere unfamiliar and present Mr. Armadale with some unnamed liquid that will make him faint?—Are you really saying you believe that?”
“I seriously tell you I believe it.”
"I honestly tell you I believe it."
“And, according to your view, these fulfillments of the dream will mark the progress of certain coming events, in which Mr. Armadale’s happiness, or Mr. Armadale’s safety, will be dangerously involved?”
“And, according to your view, these realizations of the dream will signify the advancement of certain upcoming events, in which Mr. Armadale’s happiness, or Mr. Armadale’s safety, will be at serious risk?”
“That is my firm conviction.”
"That's my strong belief."
The doctor rose, laid aside his moral dissecting-knife, considered for a moment, and took it up again.
The doctor stood up, put down his metaphorical dissecting knife, thought for a moment, and picked it up again.
“One last question,” he said. “Have you any reason to give for going out of your way to adopt such a mystical view as this, when an unanswerably rational explanation of the dream lies straight before you?”
“One last question,” he said. “Do you have any reason for going out of your way to adopt such a mystical view when a completely rational explanation of the dream is right in front of you?”
“No reason,” replied Midwinter, “that I can give, either to you or to my friend.”
“No reason,” replied Midwinter, “that I can share, either with you or with my friend.”
The doctor looked at his watch with the air of a man who is suddenly reminded that he has been wasting his time.
The doctor glanced at his watch like someone who just realized he’s been wasting his time.
“We have no common ground to start from,” he said; “and if we talk till doomsday, we should not agree. Excuse my leaving you rather abruptly. It is later than I thought; and my morning’s batch of sick people are waiting for me in the surgery. I have convinced your mind, Mr. Armadale, at any rate; so the time we have given to this discussion has not been altogether lost. Pray stop here, and smoke your cigar. I shall be at your service again in less than an hour.” He nodded cordially to Allan, bowed formally to Midwinter, and quitted the room.
“We have no common ground to start from,” he said. “And if we talk until the end of time, we still won’t agree. Sorry for leaving so suddenly. It’s later than I thought, and my morning appointments with sick patients are waiting for me in the surgery. I’ve at least convinced your mind, Mr. Armadale, so our discussion hasn’t been a complete waste of time. Please stay here and enjoy your cigar. I’ll be back to help you in less than an hour.” He nodded kindly to Allan, bowed formally to Midwinter, and left the room.
As soon as the doctor’s back was turned, Allan left his place at the table, and appealed to his friend, with that irresistible heartiness of manner which had always found its way to Midwinter’s sympathies, from the first day when they met at the Somersetshire inn.
As soon as the doctor looked away, Allan got up from the table and reached out to his friend, using that natural warmth of his personality that had always resonated with Midwinter's feelings, ever since their first meeting at the Somersetshire inn.
“Now the sparring-match between you and the doctor is over,” said Allan, “I have got two words to say on my side. Will you do something for my sake which you won’t do for your own?”
“Now that the sparring match between you and the doctor is done,” said Allan, “I have two words to say on my side. Will you do something for my sake that you wouldn't do for yourself?”
Midwinter’s face brightened instantly. “I will do anything you ask me,” he said.
Midwinter's face lit up immediately. "I'll do whatever you ask," he said.
“Very well. Will you let the subject of the dream drop out of our talk altogether from this time forth?”
“Alright. Can we agree to stop bringing up the dream in our conversations from now on?”
“Yes, if you wish it.”
"Yes, if that's what you want."
“Will you go a step further? Will you leave off thinking about the dream?”
“Are you willing to go a step further? Will you stop thinking about the dream?”
“It’s hard to leave off thinking about it, Allan. But I will try.”
“It’s hard to stop thinking about it, Allan. But I’ll try.”
“That’s a good fellow! Now give me that trumpery bit of paper, and let’s tear it up, and have done with it.”
“That’s a good guy! Now hand me that useless piece of paper, and let’s tear it up and be done with it.”
He tried to snatch the manuscript out of his friend’s hand; but Midwinter was too quick for him, and kept it beyond his reach.
He tried to grab the manuscript from his friend's hand, but Midwinter was too fast for him and held it out of his reach.
“Come! come!” pleaded Allan. “I’ve set my heart on lighting my cigar with it.”
“Come on! Come on!” Allan pleaded. “I really want to light my cigar with it.”
Midwinter hesitated painfully. It was hard to resist Allan; but he did resist him. “I’ll wait a little,” he said, “before you light your cigar with it.”
Midwinter hesitated, feeling torn. It was tough to say no to Allan, but he managed to do it. “I’ll hold off for a bit,” he said, “before you use it to light your cigar.”
“How long? Till to-morrow?”
“How long? Until tomorrow?”
“Longer.”
"Longer."
“Till we leave the Isle of Man?”
“Until we leave the Isle of Man?”
“Longer.”
“Longer.”
“Hang it—give me a plain answer to a plain question! How long will you wait?”
“Come on—just give me a straight answer to a straightforward question! How long will you wait?”
Midwinter carefully restored the paper to its place in his pocketbook.
Midwinter carefully put the paper back into his pocketbook.
“I’ll wait,” he said, “till we get to Thorpe Ambrose.”
“I’ll wait,” he said, “until we get to Thorpe Ambrose.”
THE END OF THE FIRST BOOK.
THE END OF THE FIRST BOOK.
BOOK THE SECOND
I. LURKING MISCHIEF.
1. From Ozias Midwinter to Mr. Brock.
“Thorpe Ambrose, June 15, 1851.
Thorpe Ambrose, June 15, 1851.
“DEAR MR. BROCK—Only an hour since we reached this house, just as the servants were locking up for the night. Allan has gone to bed, worn out by our long day’s journey, and has left me in the room they call the library, to tell you the story of our journey to Norfolk. Being better seasoned than he is to fatigues of all kinds, my eyes are quite wakeful enough for writing a letter, though the clock on the chimney-piece points to midnight, and we have been traveling since ten in the morning.
“DEAR MR. BROCK—We arrived at this house just an hour ago, right as the servants were finishing up for the night. Allan has gone to bed, completely exhausted from our long journey, and he’s left me in the room they call the library to share the story of our trip to Norfolk. Since I’m more accustomed to all kinds of fatigue than he is, my eyes are still alert enough for writing a letter, even though the clock on the mantel shows it’s midnight, and we’ve been traveling since ten this morning.”
“The last news you had of us was news sent by Allan from the Isle of Man. If I am not mistaken, he wrote to tell you of the night we passed on board the wrecked ship. Forgive me, dear Mr. Brock, if I say nothing on that subject until time has helped me to think of it with a quieter mind. The hard fight against myself must all be fought over again; but I will win it yet, please God; I will, indeed.
“The last update you received from us was from Allan on the Isle of Man. If I remember correctly, he wrote to share about the night we spent on the wrecked ship. Forgive me, dear Mr. Brock, for not discussing that topic until I’ve had time to process it more calmly. I have to go through the tough struggle with myself all over again, but I will overcome it, God willing; I really will.”
“There is no need to trouble you with any account of our journeyings about the northern and western districts of the island, or of the short cruises we took when the repairs of the yacht were at last complete. It will be better if I get on at once to the morning of yesterday, the fourteenth. We had come in with the night-tide to Douglas Harbor, and, as soon as the post-office was open; Allan, by my advice, sent on shore for letters. The messenger returned with one letter only, and the writer of it proved to be the former mistress of Thorpe Ambrose—Mrs. Blanchard.
“There’s no reason to burden you with details about our travels in the northern and western parts of the island or the brief trips we took after the yacht was finally repaired. It’s better if I jump right to yesterday morning, the fourteenth. We had arrived in Douglas Harbor with the night tide, and as soon as the post office opened, Allan followed my suggestion and sent someone ashore for letters. The messenger came back with only one letter, and the writer was the former owner of Thorpe Ambrose—Mrs. Blanchard.”
“You ought to be informed, I think, of the contents of this letter, for it has seriously influenced Allan’s plans. He loses everything, sooner or later, as you know, and he has lost the letter already. So I must give you the substance of what Mrs. Blanchard wrote to him, as plainly as I can.
“You should know the contents of this letter because it has had a significant impact on Allan’s plans. He eventually loses everything, as you know, and he has already lost the letter. So, I need to share the main points of what Mrs. Blanchard wrote to him as clearly as I can.”
“The first page announced the departure of the ladies from Thorpe Ambrose. They left on the day before yesterday, the thirteenth, having, after much hesitation, finally decided on going abroad, to visit some old friends settled in Italy, in the neighborhood of Florence. It appears to be quite possible that Mrs. Blanchard and her niece may settle there, too, if they can find a suitable house and grounds to let. They both like the Italian country and the Italian people, and they are well enough off to please themselves. The elder lady has her jointure, and the younger is in possession of all her father’s fortune.
“The first page announced that the ladies were leaving Thorpe Ambrose. They left the day before yesterday, on the thirteenth, having finally decided, after much hesitation, to go abroad to visit some old friends living in Italy, near Florence. It seems quite possible that Mrs. Blanchard and her niece might settle there, too, if they can find a suitable house and grounds to rent. They both enjoy the Italian countryside and the Italian people, and they are financially secure enough to do as they please. The older lady has her jointure, and the younger has access to all her father’s fortune.”
“The next page of the letter was, in Allan’s opinion, far from a pleasant page to read.
“The next page of the letter was, in Allan’s opinion, not a pleasant page to read.
“After referring, in the most grateful terms, to the kindness which had left her niece and herself free to leave their old home at their own time, Mrs. Blanchard added that Allan’s considerate conduct had produced such a strongly favorable impression among the friends and dependents of the family that they were desirous of giving him a public reception on his arrival among them. A preliminary meeting of the tenants on the estate and the principal persons in the neighboring town had already been held to discuss the arrangements, and a letter might be expected shortly from the clergyman inquiring when it would suit Mr. Armadale’s convenience to take possession personally and publicly of his estates in Norfolk.
“After expressing her gratitude for the kindness that allowed her niece and herself to leave their old home on their own schedule, Mrs. Blanchard added that Allan’s thoughtful actions had made such a positive impression on the family’s friends and dependents that they wanted to hold a public reception for him upon his arrival. A preliminary meeting with the estate tenants and key individuals from the nearby town had already taken place to discuss the arrangements, and a letter could be expected soon from the clergyman asking when it would be convenient for Mr. Armadale to personally and publicly take possession of his estates in Norfolk.”
“You will now be able to guess the cause of our sudden departure from the Isle of Man. The first and foremost idea in your old pupil’s mind, as soon as he had read Mrs. Blanchard’s account of the proceedings at the meeting, was the idea of escaping the public reception, and the one certain way he could see of avoiding it was to start for Thorpe Ambrose before the clergyman’s letter could reach him.
“You can now probably figure out why we left the Isle of Man so suddenly. The main thought in your former pupil’s mind, right after he read Mrs. Blanchard’s summary of what happened at the meeting, was the desire to avoid the public reception, and the only clear way he saw to do that was to head for Thorpe Ambrose before the clergyman’s letter got to him.”
“I tried hard to make him think a little before he acted on his first impulse in this matter; but he only went on packing his portmanteau in his own impenetrably good-humored way. In ten minutes his luggage was ready, and in five minutes more he had given the crew their directions for taking the yacht back to Somersetshire. The steamer to Liverpool was alongside of us in the harbor, and I had really no choice but to go on board with him or to let him go by himself. I spare you the account of our stormy voyage, of our detention at Liverpool, and of the trains we missed on our journey across the country. You know that we have got here safely, and that is enough. What the servants think of the new squire’s sudden appearance among them, without a word of warning, is of no great consequence. What the committee for arranging the public reception may think of it when the news flies abroad to-morrow is, I am afraid, a more serious matter.
“I tried hard to get him to think a little before he acted on his first impulse in this situation, but he just kept packing his suitcase in his endlessly cheerful way. In ten minutes, his luggage was ready, and in another five, he had given the crew their instructions to take the yacht back to Somersetshire. The steamer to Liverpool was right next to us in the harbor, and I really had no choice but to board with him or let him go alone. I’ll skip the details of our rough journey, our delay in Liverpool, and the trains we missed on our trip across the country. You know we made it here safely, and that’s what matters. What the staff thinks of the new squire's unexpected arrival among them, without any warning, isn’t really important. However, what the committee organizing the public reception thinks about it when the news spreads tomorrow is, I’m afraid, a bigger issue."
“Having already mentioned the servants, I may proceed to tell you that the latter part of Mrs. Blanchard’s letter was entirely devoted to instructing Allan on the subject of the domestic establishment which she has left behind her. It seems that all the servants, indoors and out (with three exceptions), are waiting here, on the chance that Allan will continue them in their places. Two of these exceptions are readily accounted for: Mrs. Blanchard’s maid and Miss Blanchard’s maid go abroad with their mistresses. The third exceptional case is the case of the upper housemaid; and here there is a little hitch. In plain words, the housemaid has been sent away at a moment’s notice, for what Mrs. Blanchard rather mysteriously describes as ‘levity of conduct with a stranger.’
“Since I've already mentioned the staff, I can now tell you that the second half of Mrs. Blanchard’s letter focused entirely on giving Allan instructions about the household she’s left behind. It appears that all the staff, both indoor and outdoor (with three exceptions), are waiting here in hopes that Allan will keep them on. Two of these exceptions are easy to explain: Mrs. Blanchard’s maid and Miss Blanchard’s maid are going abroad with their mistresses. The third exception involves the upper housemaid, and here things get a bit complicated. To put it plainly, the housemaid has been let go on short notice for what Mrs. Blanchard somewhat mysteriously refers to as ‘inappropriate behavior with a stranger.’”
“I am afraid you will laugh at me, but I must confess the truth. I have been made so distrustful (after what happened to us in the Isle of Man) of even the most trifling misadventures which connect themselves in any way with Allan’s introduction to his new life and prospects, that I have already questioned one of the men-servants here about this apparently unimportant matter of the housemaid’s going away in disgrace.
“I’m worried you’ll laugh at me, but I need to confess the truth. I’ve become so distrustful (after what happened to us in the Isle of Man) of even the smallest issues that relate to Allan’s start in his new life and opportunities, that I’ve already asked one of the male servants here about this seemingly insignificant issue of the housemaid leaving in disgrace.”
“All I can learn is that a strange man had been noticed hanging suspiciously about the grounds; that the housemaid was so ugly a woman as to render it next to a certainty that he had some underhand purpose to serve in making himself agreeable to her; and that he has not as yet been seen again in the neighborhood since the day of her dismissal. So much for the one servant who has been turned out at Thorpe Ambrose. I can only hope there is no trouble for Allan brewing in that quarter. As for the other servants who remain, Mrs. Blanchard describes them, both men and women, as perfectly trustworthy, and they will all, no doubt, continue to occupy their present places.
“All I can gather is that a strange man was seen acting suspiciously around the property; that the housemaid was such an unattractive woman that it’s almost certain he had some hidden agenda to be nice to her; and that he hasn’t been spotted in the area since the day she was let go. That’s the situation with the one servant who was dismissed at Thorpe Ambrose. I can only hope there’s no trouble brewing for Allan in that regard. As for the other staff who are still there, Mrs. Blanchard describes them, both men and women, as completely trustworthy, and they will probably all remain in their current positions.”
“Having now done with Mrs. Blanchard’s letter, my next duty is to beg you, in Allan’s name and with Allan’s love, to come here and stay with him at the earliest moment when you can leave Somersetshire. Although I cannot presume to think that my own wishes will have any special influence in determining you to accept this invitation, I must nevertheless acknowledge that I have a reason of my own for earnestly desiring to see you here. Allan has innocently caused me a new anxiety about my future relations with him, and I sorely need your advice to show me the right way of setting that anxiety at rest.
“Now that I’ve finished reading Mrs. Blanchard’s letter, my next task is to ask you, in Allan’s name and with his love, to come here and stay with him as soon as you can leave Somersetshire. While I can’t assume that my wishes will carry much weight in your decision to accept this invitation, I have to admit that I have my own reasons for wanting you here. Allan has unintentionally given me a new worry about my future relationship with him, and I really need your advice to help me find the right way to ease that anxiety.”
“The difficulty which now perplexes me relates to the steward’s place at Thorpe Ambrose. Before to-day I only knew that Allan had hit on some plan of his own for dealing with this matter, rather strangely involving, among other results, the letting of the cottage which was the old steward’s place of abode, in consequence of the new steward’s contemplated residence in the great house. A chance word in our conversation on the journey here led Allan into speaking out more plainly than he had spoken yet, and I heard to my unutterable astonishment that the person who was at the bottom of the whole arrangement about the steward was no other than myself!
“The issue that’s confusing me now has to do with the steward’s position at Thorpe Ambrose. Until today, I only knew that Allan had come up with some plan of his own for handling this situation, which, quite oddly, involved renting out the cottage that used to be the old steward’s home, due to the new steward planning to live in the big house. A casual remark during our conversation on the way here prompted Allan to speak more clearly than he had before, and to my utter shock, I learned that the person behind the entire arrangement regarding the steward was none other than me!”
“It is needless to tell you how I felt this new instance of Allan’s kindness. The first pleasure of hearing from his own lips that I had deserved the strongest proof he could give of his confidence in me was soon dashed by the pain which mixes itself with all pleasure—at least, with all that I have ever known. Never has my past life seemed so dreary to look back on as it seems now, when I feel how entirely it has unfitted me to take the place of all others that I should have liked to occupy in my friend’s service. I mustered courage to tell him that I had none of the business knowledge and business experience which his steward ought to possess. He generously met the objection by telling me that I could learn; and he has promised to send to London for the person who has already been employed for the time being in the steward’s office, and who will, therefore, be perfectly competent to teach me.
“It’s unnecessary to explain how I felt about this new act of Allan’s kindness. The initial joy of hearing from him that I had earned his utmost trust was quickly overshadowed by the hurt that always accompanies happiness—at least, that’s how it has been for me. Never has my past seemed so bleak to reflect on as it does now, especially when I realize how unprepared I am to take on any role I would have liked to fill in my friend’s service. I gathered the courage to tell him that I lack the business knowledge and experience his steward should have. He kindly countered my concern by saying that I could learn; he has agreed to send to London for the person who has already been working in the steward’s office temporarily and who will be fully qualified to teach me.”
“Do you, too, think I can learn? If you do, I will work day and night to instruct myself. But if (as I am afraid) the steward’s duties are of far too serious a kind to be learned off-hand by a man so young and so inexperienced as I am, then pray hasten your journey to Thorpe Ambrose, and exert your influence over Allan personally. Nothing less will induce him to pass me over, and to employ a steward who is really fit to take the place. Pray, pray act in this matter as you think best for Allan’s interests. Whatever disappointment I may feel, he shall not see it.
“Do you think I can learn? If you do, I’ll work day and night to teach myself. But if (as I fear) the steward’s responsibilities are too serious for someone as young and inexperienced as I am to pick up quickly, then please hurry to Thorpe Ambrose and use your influence on Allan directly. Nothing less will convince him to overlook me and hire a steward who is really qualified for the position. Please, please handle this in whatever way you believe is best for Allan’s interests. Whatever disappointment I might feel, he won’t see it.”
“Believe me, dear Mr. Brock,
"Trust me, dear Mr. Brock,"
“Gratefuly yours,
"Gratefully yours,"
“OZIAS MIDWINTER.
"Ozias Midwinter."
“P.S.—I open the envelope again to add one word more. If you have heard or seen anything since your return to Somersetshire of the woman in the black dress and the red shawl, I hope you will not forget, when you write, to let me know it.
“P.S.—I’m opening the envelope again to add one more thing. If you’ve heard or seen anything since you got back to Somersetshire about the woman in the black dress and the red shawl, I hope you won’t forget to let me know when you write.”
“O. M.”
“O. M.”
2. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
2. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Ladies’ Toilet Repository, Diana Street, Pimlico,
“Ladies’ Toilet Repository, Diana Street, Pimlico,
“Wednesday.
“Wed.”
“MY DEAR LYDIA—To save the post, I write to you, after a long day’s worry at my place of business, on the business letter-paper, having news since we last met which it seems advisable to send you at the earliest opportunity.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—To make sure this gets to you quickly, I’m writing to you after a long day at work, on official letterhead, because I have some news since we last met that I think you should hear as soon as possible.
“To begin at the beginning. After carefully considering the thing, I am quite sure you will do wisely with young Armadale if you hold your tongue about Madeira and all that happened there. Your position was, no doubt, a very strong one with his mother. You had privately helped her in playing a trick on her own father; you had been ungratefully dismissed, at a pitiably tender age, as soon as you had served her purpose; and, when you came upon her suddenly, after a separation of more than twenty years, you found her in failing health, with a grown-up son, whom she had kept in total ignorance of the true story of her marriage.
“To begin at the beginning. After thinking it over carefully, I'm pretty sure it would be smart for you to stay quiet about Madeira and everything that happened there regarding young Armadale. You definitely had a strong position with his mother. You’d secretly helped her pull a fast one on her own father; you were ungratefully sent away at a painfully young age, right after you had served her purpose; and when you suddenly ran into her after a separation of more than twenty years, you found her in poor health, with an adult son whom she had kept completely unaware of the real story behind her marriage.”
“Have you any such advantages as these with the young gentleman who has survived her? If he is not a born idiot he will decline to believe your shocking aspersions on the memory of his mother; and—seeing that you have no proofs at this distance of time to meet him with—there is an end of your money-grubbing in the golden Armadale diggings. Mind, I don’t dispute that the old lady’s heavy debt of obligation, after what you did for her in Madeira, is not paid yet; and that the son is the next person to settle with you, now the mother has slipped through your fingers. Only squeeze him the right way, my dear, that’s what I venture to suggest—squeeze him the right way.
“Do you have any advantages like these with the young man who is still around? If he’s not completely clueless, he won’t believe your terrible accusations about his mother; and since you don’t have any evidence to confront him with after all this time, that ends your money-making schemes in the profitable Armadale diggings. Just so you know, I don’t deny that the old lady still owes you a huge debt of gratitude for what you did for her in Madeira; and now that the mother is out of the picture, her son is the next one you need to deal with. Just make sure to approach him the right way, my dear, that’s my suggestion—approach him the right way.”
“And which is the right way? That question brings me to my news.
“And which way is the right one? That question leads me to my news.
“Have you thought again of that other notion of yours of trying your hand on this lucky young gentleman, with nothing but your own good looks and your own quick wits to help you? The idea hung on my mind so strangely after you were gone that it ended in my sending a little note to my lawyer, to have the will under which young Armadale has got his fortune examined at Doctor’s Commons. The result turns out to be something infinitely more encouraging than either you or I could possibly have hoped for. After the lawyer’s report to me, there cannot be a moment’s doubt of what you ought to do. In two words, Lydia, take the bull by the horns—and marry him!
“Have you thought again about that other idea of yours about going after this lucky young guy, armed only with your looks and your quick thinking? The thought stuck with me so much after you left that I ended up sending a quick note to my lawyer to get the will under which young Armadale received his fortune checked out at Doctor’s Commons. The outcome is far more promising than either you or I could have ever hoped for. After the lawyer’s report to me, there’s no doubt about what you should do. In two words, Lydia, take the bull by the horns—and marry him!”
“I am quite serious. He is much better worth the venture than you suppose. Only persuade him to make you Mrs. Armadale, and you may set all after-discoveries at flat defiance. As long as he lives, you can make your own terms with him; and, if he dies, the will entitles you, in spite of anything he can say or do—with children or without them—to an income chargeable on his estate of twelve hundred a year for life. There is no doubt about this; the lawyer himself has looked at the will. Of course, Mr. Blanchard had his son and his son’s widow in his eye when he made the provision. But, as it is not limited to any one heir by name, and not revoked anywhere, it now holds as good with young Armadale as it would have held under other circumstances with Mr. Blanchard’s son. What a chance for you, after all the miseries and the dangers you have gone through, to be mistress of Thorpe Ambrose, if he lives; to have an income for life, if he dies! Hook him, my poor dear; hook him at any sacrifice.
“I’m being completely serious. He’s definitely worth the risk more than you think. Just convince him to make you Mrs. Armadale, and you can ignore any future discoveries. As long as he’s alive, you can set your own terms with him; and if he dies, the will ensures that you’ll receive, no matter what he says or does—whether there are children or not—an income of twelve hundred a year for life, charged against his estate. There’s no doubt about this; the lawyer has reviewed the will himself. Of course, Mr. Blanchard was thinking of his son and his son’s widow when he made that provision. But since it isn't limited to any specific heir by name and hasn’t been revoked anywhere, it now applies just as well to young Armadale as it would have under different circumstances with Mr. Blanchard’s son. What an opportunity for you, after all the hardships and dangers you’ve faced, to be the mistress of Thorpe Ambrose if he lives; to have an income for life if he dies! Reel him in, my dear; reel him in at any cost.”
“I dare say you will make the same objection when you read this which you made when we were talking about it the other day; I mean the objection of your age.
“I bet you'll have the same objection when you read this that you had when we were discussing it the other day; I mean your age-related objection.”
“Now, my good creature, just listen to me. The question is—not whether you were five-and-thirty last birthday; we will own the dreadful truth, and say you were—but whether you do look, or don’t look, your real age. My opinion on this matter ought to be, and is, one of the best opinions in London. I have had twenty years experience among our charming sex in making up battered old faces and wornout old figures to look like new, and I say positively you don’t look a day over thirty, if as much. If you will follow my advice about dressing, and use one or two of my applications privately, I guarantee to put you back three years more. I will forfeit all the money I shall have to advance for you in this matter, if, when I have ground you young again in my wonderful mill, you look more than seven-and-twenty in any man’s eyes living—except, of course, when you wake anxious in the small hours of the morning; and then, my dear, you will be old and ugly in the retirement of your own room, and it won’t matter.
“Now, my dear, just listen to me. The question isn’t whether you turned thirty-five last birthday; let’s admit the harsh truth and say you did—but whether you actually look your real age or not. My opinion on this should be, and is, one of the best opinions in London. I’ve spent twenty years working with our lovely ladies to make tired old faces and worn-out figures appear like new, and I can confidently say you don’t look a day over thirty, if even that. If you take my advice on dressing and use a couple of my private treatments, I promise to make you look three years younger. I’ll risk all the money I’ll have to put up for you in this endeavor, if, after I’ve rejuvenated you in my amazing process, you look older than twenty-seven in anyone’s eyes—except, of course, when you wake up feeling anxious in the early hours of the morning; then, my dear, you’ll feel old and unattractive in the privacy of your own space, and it won’t matter.”
“‘But,’ you may say, ‘supposing all this, here I am, even with your art to help me, looking a good six years older than he is; and that is against me at starting.’ Is it? Just think again. Surely, your own experience must have shown you that the commonest of all common weaknesses, in young fellows of this Armadale’s age, is to fall in love with women older than themselves. Who are the men who really appreciate us in the bloom of our youth (I’m sure I have cause to speak well of the bloom of youth; I made fifty guineas to-day by putting it on the spotted shoulders of a woman old enough to be your mother)—who are the men, I say, who are ready to worship us when we are mere babies of seventeen? The gay young gentlemen in the bloom of their own youth? No! The cunning old wretches who are on the wrong side of forty.
“‘But,’ you might say, ‘even with your help, I still look a good six years older than he does, and that puts me at a disadvantage.’ Does it, really? Think about it again. Your own experience must have shown you that one of the most common weaknesses among young guys like Armadale is to fall for women who are older than they are. Who are the guys that truly appreciate us when we're at the height of our youth (and I have good reason to praise youth; I just made fifty guineas today by showcasing the beauty of a woman who's old enough to be your mother)—who are these guys, I ask, who are eager to adore us when we're just seventeen? The suave young men enjoying their own youth? No! It’s the crafty older men who are well past forty.”
“And what is the moral of this, as the story-books say?
“And what’s the lesson here, like they say in storybooks?
“The moral is that the chances, with such a head as you have got on your shoulders, are all in your favor. If you feel your present forlorn position, as I believe you do; if you know what a charming woman (in the men’s eyes) you can still be when you please; and if all your resolution has really come back, after that shocking outbreak of desperation on board the steamer (natural enough, I own, under the dreadful provocation laid on you), you will want no further persuasion from me to try this experiment. Only to think of how things turn out! If the other young booby had not jumped into the river after you, this young booby would never have had the estate. It really looks as if fate had determined that you were to be Mrs. Armadale, of Thorpe Ambrose; and who can control his fate, as the poet says?
“The moral is that the odds, with a mindset like yours, are all in your favor. If you feel your current hopeless position, as I believe you do; if you know what an appealing woman (in the eyes of men) you can still be when you choose; and if all your determination has really returned after that intense moment of despair on the steamer (which was completely understandable, given the awful situation you were in), you won't need any more convincing from me to give this a try. Just think about how things turned out! If that other young fool hadn’t jumped into the river after you, this young fool would never have inherited the estate. It really seems like destiny has decided that you are meant to be Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose; and who can control their fate, as the poet says?"
“Send me one line to say Yes or No; and believe me your attached old friend,
“Just send me a quick message saying Yes or No; and trust me, your longtime friend,
“MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
"Maria Oldershaw."
3. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
3. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
Richmond, Thursday.
Richmond, Thursday.
‘YOU OLD WRETCH—I won’t say Yes or No till I have had a long, long look at my glass first. If you had any real regard for anybody but your wicked old self, you would know that the bare idea of marrying again (after what I have gone through) is an idea that makes my flesh creep.
‘YOU OLD WRETCH—I won’t say Yes or No until I’ve had a long, long look at my drink first. If you actually cared for anyone but your wicked old self, you would understand that just the thought of marrying again (after everything I’ve been through) makes my skin crawl.
“But there can be no harm in your sending me a little more information while I am making up my mind. You have got twenty pounds of mine still left out of those things you sold for me; send ten pounds here for my expenses, in a post-office order, and use the other ten for making private inquiries at Thorpe Ambrose. I want to know when the two Blanchard women go away, and when young Armadale stirs up the dead ashes in the family fire-place. Are you quite sure he will turn out as easy to manage as you think? If he takes after his hypocrite of a mother, I can tell you this: Judas Iscariot has come to life again.
“But it wouldn't hurt to send me a bit more information while I decide. You still have twenty pounds of mine from those things you sold; send ten pounds here for my expenses as a post-office order, and use the other ten to make some private inquiries at Thorpe Ambrose. I want to know when the two Blanchard women leave and when young Armadale stirs up the old family drama. Are you sure he’ll be as easy to handle as you think? If he takes after his hypocritical mother, I can tell you this: Judas Iscariot has come back to life.”
“I am very comfortable in this lodging. There are lovely flowers in the garden, and the birds wake me in the morning delightfully. I have hired a reasonably good piano. The only man I care two straws about—don’t be alarmed; he was laid in his grave many a long year ago, under the name of BEETHOVEN—keeps me company, in my lonely hours. The landlady would keep me company, too, if I would only let her. I hate women. The new curate paid a visit to the other lodger yesterday, and passed me on the lawn as he came out. My eyes have lost nothing yet, at any rate, though I am five-and-thirty; the poor man actually blushed when I looked at him! What sort of color do you think he would have turned, if one of the little birds in the garden had whispered in his ear, and told him the true story of the charming Miss Gwilt?
“I’m really comfortable in this place. There are beautiful flowers in the garden, and the birds wake me up in the morning in such a lovely way. I’ve rented a decent piano. The only guy I actually care about—don’t worry; he’s been gone for many years, under the name of BEETHOVEN—keeps me company during my lonely times. The landlady would keep me company too, if I’d just let her. I can’t stand women. The new curate visited the other lodger yesterday and passed by me on the lawn as he was leaving. My eyesight hasn’t failed me yet, even though I’m thirty-five; the poor guy actually blushed when I looked at him! Can you imagine what color he would have turned if one of the little birds in the garden had whispered in his ear and told him the real story of the charming Miss Gwilt?”
“Good-by, Mother Oldershaw. I rather doubt whether I am yours, or anybody’s, affectionately; but we all tell lies at the bottoms of our letters, don’t we? If you are my attached old friend, I must, of course, be yours affectionately.
“Goodbye, Mother Oldershaw. I’m not sure if I really am yours, or anyone’s, affectionately; but we all tell little lies at the end of our letters, don’t we? If you are my dear old friend, then I must, of course, be yours affectionately.”
“LYDIA GWILT.
LYDIA GWILT.
“P.S.—Keep your odious powders and paints and washes for the spotted shoulders of your customers; not one of them shall touch my skin, I promise you. If you really want to be useful, try and find out some quieting draught to keep me from grinding my teeth in my sleep. I shall break them one of these nights; and then what will become of my beauty, I wonder?”
“P.S.—Keep your disgusting powders, paints, and washes for the blotchy shoulders of your customers; not one of them will touch my skin, I guarantee you. If you really want to help, try to find a calming drink to stop me from grinding my teeth in my sleep. I’m going to break them one of these nights; and then what will happen to my beauty, I wonder?”
4. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
4. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Ladies’ Toilet Repository, Tuesday.
“Women’s Restroom, Tuesday.”
“MY DEAR LYDIA—It is a thousand pities your letter was not addressed to Mr. Armadale; your graceful audacity would have charmed him. It doesn’t affect me; I am so well used to audacity in my way of life, you know. Why waste your sparkling wit, my love, on your own impenetrable Oldershaw? It only splutters and goes out. Will you try and be serious this next time? I have news for you from Thorpe Ambrose, which is beyond a joke, and which must not be trifled with.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—It’s such a shame your letter wasn't sent to Mr. Armadale; your boldness would have really impressed him. It doesn’t bother me; I’m so used to boldness in my life, you know. Why waste your clever humor, my dear, on your impenetrable Oldershaw? It just fizzles out. Can you please be serious next time? I have important news for you from Thorpe Ambrose that's no laughing matter and shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
“An hour after I got your letter I set the inquiries on foot. Not knowing what consequences they might lead to, I thought it safest to begin in the dark. Instead of employing any of the people whom I have at my own disposal (who know you and know me), I went to the Private Inquiry Office in Shadyside Place, and put the matter in the inspector’s hands, in the character of a perfect stranger, and without mentioning you at all. This was not the cheapest way of going to work, I own; but it was the safest way, which is of much greater consequence.
"An hour after I received your letter, I started looking into things. Not knowing what might come of it, I thought it best to proceed cautiously. Instead of hiring any of the people I know (who are familiar with both you and me), I went to the Private Inquiry Office on Shadyside Place and handed the situation over to the inspector as a complete stranger, without mentioning you at all. I admit this wasn’t the cheapest approach, but it was definitely the safest, which is far more important."
“The inspector and I understood each other in ten minutes; and the right person for the purpose—the most harmless looking young man you ever saw in your life—was produced immediately. He left for Thorpe Ambrose an hour after I saw him. I arranged to call at the office on the afternoons of Saturday, Monday, and to-day for news. There was no news till to-day; and there I found our confidential agent just returned to town, and waiting to favor me with a full account of his trip to Norfolk.
“The inspector and I got on the same page within ten minutes, and the perfect person for the job—the most innocent-looking young man you'd ever meet—was found right away. He left for Thorpe Ambrose an hour after I met him. I set it up to check in at the office on Saturday, Monday, and today for updates. There hadn’t been any news until today; when I got there, I found our confidential agent just back in town, ready to give me a complete rundown of his trip to Norfolk.”
“First of all, let me quiet your mind about those two questions of yours; I have got answers to both the one and the other. The Blanchard women go away to foreign parts on the thirteenth, and young Armadale is at this moment cruising somewhere at sea in his yacht. There is talk at Thorpe Ambrose of giving him a public reception, and of calling a meeting of the local grandees to settle it all. The speechifying and fuss on these occasions generally wastes plenty of time, and the public reception is not thought likely to meet the new squire much before the end of the month.
“First of all, let me put your mind at ease about those two questions you have; I have answers for both. The Blanchard women are leaving for overseas on the thirteenth, and young Armadale is currently sailing somewhere at sea in his yacht. People in Thorpe Ambrose are talking about giving him a public reception and organizing a meeting of the local dignitaries to sort it all out. The speeches and commotion during these events usually take up a lot of time, and it’s not expected that the public reception will happen before the end of the month.”
“If our messenger had done no more for us than this, I think he would have earned his money. But the harmless young man is a regular Jesuit at a private inquiry, with this great advantage over all the Popish priests I have ever seen, that he has not got his slyness written in his face.
“If our messenger had done nothing else for us than this, I think he would have earned his pay. But the innocent young man is like a Jesuit in a private investigation, with this major advantage over all the Catholic priests I have ever encountered: he doesn't have his cunning written all over his face.”
“Having to get his information through the female servants in the usual way, he addressed himself, with admirable discretion, to the ugliest woman in the house. ‘When they are nice-looking, and can pick and choose,’ as he neatly expressed it to me, ‘they waste a great deal of valuable time in deciding on a sweetheart. When they are ugly, and haven’t got the ghost of a chance of choosing, they snap at a sweetheart, if he comes their way, like a starved dog at a bone.’ Acting on these excellent principles, our confidential agent succeeded, after certain unavoidable delays, in addressing himself to the upper housemaid at Thorpe Ambrose, and took full possession of her confidence at the first interview. Bearing his instructions carefully in mind, he encouraged the woman to chatter, and was favored, of course, with all the gossip of the servants’ hall. The greater part of it (as repeated to me) was of no earthly importance. But I listened patiently, and was rewarded by a valuable discovery at last. Here it is.
“Having to get his information through the female servants in the usual way, he wisely chose to talk to the ugliest woman in the house. ‘When they are attractive and can pick and choose,’ as he put it to me, ‘they waste a lot of valuable time deciding on a partner. When they are not attractive and don’t have a chance of choosing, they jump at a partner if he comes their way, like a hungry dog at a bone.’ Following these smart principles, our trusted agent managed, after some unavoidable delays, to speak to the upper housemaid at Thorpe Ambrose and gained her trust right away. Keeping his instructions in mind, he encouraged her to talk, and was naturally treated to all the gossip from the servants’ hall. Most of it (as she relayed to me) was of no real significance. But I listened patiently and eventually made a valuable discovery. Here it is.”
“It seems there is an ornamental cottage in the grounds at Thorpe Ambrose. For some reason unknown, young Armadale has chosen to let it, and a tenant has come in already. He is a poor half-pay major in the army, named Milroy, a meek sort of man, by all accounts, with a turn for occupying himself in mechanical pursuits, and with a domestic incumbrance in the shape of a bedridden wife, who has not been seen by anybody. Well, and what of all this? you will ask, with that sparkling impatience which becomes you so well. My dear Lydia, don’t sparkle! The man’s family affairs seriously concern us both, for, as ill luck will have it, the man has got a daughter!
“It looks like there's a decorative cottage on the grounds at Thorpe Ambrose. For some unknown reason, young Armadale has decided to rent it out, and a tenant has already moved in. He’s a struggling retired army major named Milroy, a pretty timid guy, from what I hear, who likes to keep himself busy with mechanical projects, and he has a domestic issue in the form of a wife who is bedridden and hasn’t been seen by anyone. So, what’s the big deal? you might ask, with that lively impatience that suits you so well. My dear Lydia, don’t get too worked up! The man’s family situation is important for both of us since, as bad luck would have it, he has a daughter!”
“You may imagine how I questioned our agent, and how our agent ransacked his memory, when I stumbled, in due course, on such a discovery as this. If Heaven is responsible for women’s chattering tongues, Heaven be praised! From Miss Blanchard to Miss Blanchard’s maid; from Miss Blanchard’s maid to Miss Blanchard’s aunt’s maid; from Miss Blanchard’s aunt’s maid, to the ugly housemaid; from the ugly housemaid to the harmless-looking young man—so the stream of gossip trickled into the right reservoir at last, and thirsty Mother Oldershaw has drunk it all up.
"You can imagine how I grilled our agent and how he dug deep into his memory when I came across a discovery like this. If God is behind women's endless chatter, then thank God for it! From Miss Blanchard to her maid; from her maid to her aunt's maid; from her aunt's maid to the not-so-pretty housemaid; and from the housemaid to the seemingly innocent young man—this gossip eventually flowed into the right place, and now Mother Oldershaw has consumed it all."
“In plain English, my dear, this is how it stands. The major’s daughter is a minx just turned sixteen; lively and nice-looking (hateful little wretch!), dowdy in her dress (thank Heaven!) and deficient in her manners (thank Heaven again!). She has been brought up at home. The governess who last had charge of her left before her father moved to Thorpe Ambrose. Her education stands woefully in want of a finishing touch, and the major doesn’t quite know what to do next. None of his friends can recommend him a new governess and he doesn’t like the notion of sending the girl to school. So matters rest at present, on the major’s own showing; for so the major expressed himself at a morning call which the father and daughter paid to the ladies at the great house.
“In simple terms, my dear, here’s the situation. The major’s daughter is a cheeky girl just turned sixteen; she’s lively and attractive (that annoying little brat!), frumpy in her clothing (thank goodness!) and lacking in manners (thank goodness again!). She’s been raised at home. The governess who last took care of her left before her father moved to Thorpe Ambrose. Her education seriously needs some finishing, and the major isn’t really sure what to do next. None of his friends can suggest a new governess, and he doesn’t like the idea of sending her to school. So that’s where things stand right now, according to the major; that’s how he described it during a morning visit that he and his daughter made to the ladies at the big house.”
“You have now got my promised news, and you will have little difficulty, I think, in agreeing with me that the Armadale business must be settled at once, one way or the other. If, with your hopeless prospects, and with what I may call your family claim on this young fellow, you decide on giving him up, I shall have the pleasure of sending you the balance of your account with me (seven-and-twenty shillings), and shall then be free to devote myself entirely to my own proper business. If, on the contrary, you decide to try your luck at Thorpe Ambrose, then (there being no kind of doubt that the major’s minx will set her cap at the young squire) I should be glad to hear how you mean to meet the double difficulty of inflaming Mr. Armadale and extinguishing Miss Milroy.
“You've now received the news I promised, and I think you won't have much trouble agreeing with me that the Armadale situation needs to be sorted out immediately, one way or another. If, given your extremely bleak prospects and what I would call your family connection to this young man, you decide to let him go, I’ll happily send you the remaining balance of your account with me (twenty-seven shillings), and I’ll then be free to focus entirely on my own business. On the other hand, if you choose to try your luck at Thorpe Ambrose, then (since it’s clear the major’s schemer will pursue the young squire) I’d love to know how you plan to handle the two challenges of enticing Mr. Armadale and shutting down Miss Milroy."
“Affectionately yours,
"Love always,"
“MARIA OLDERSHAW.
MARIA OLDERSHAW.
5. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
5. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
(First Answer.)
(First Answer.)
“Richmond, Wednesday Morning.
"Richmond, Wednesday morning."
“MRS. OLDERSHAW—Send me my seven-and-twenty shillings, and devote yourself to your own proper business. Yours, L. G.”
“MRS. OLDERSHAW—Please send me my twenty-seven shillings and focus on your own responsibilities. Yours, L. G.”
6. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
6. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
(Second Answer.)
< i >(Second Answer.)
“Richmond, Wednesday Night.
Richmond, Wednesday Evening.
“DEAR OLD LOVE—Keep the seven-and-twenty shillings, and burn my other letter. I have changed my mind.
“DEAR OLD LOVE—Keep the twenty-seven shillings, and burn my other letter. I’ve changed my mind.
“I wrote the first time after a horrible night. I write this time after a ride on horseback, a tumbler of claret, and the breast of a chicken. Is that explanation enough? Please say Yes, for I want to go back to my piano.
“I wrote for the first time after a terrible night. I’m writing this time after a horseback ride, a glass of red wine, and some chicken breast. Is that enough explanation? Please say yes, because I want to get back to my piano.”
“No; I can’t go back yet; I must answer your question first. But are you really so very simple as to suppose that I don’t see straight through you and your letter? You know that the major’s difficulty is our opportunity as well as I do; but you want me to take the responsibility of making the first proposal, don’t you? Suppose I take it in your own roundabout way? Suppose I say, ‘Pray don’t ask me how I propose inflaming Mr. Armadale and extinguishing Miss Milroy; the question is so shockingly abrupt I really can’t answer it. Ask me, instead, if it is the modest ambition of my life to become Miss Milroy’s governess?’ Yes, if you please, Mrs. Oldershaw, and if you will assist me by becoming my reference.
“No, I can’t go back yet; I have to answer your question first. But are you really so naive to think that I don’t see right through you and your letter? You know just as well as I do that the major’s trouble is our chance; but you want me to take the responsibility of making the first move, don’t you? What if I put it in your own indirect way? What if I say, ‘Please don’t ask me how I plan to stir up Mr. Armadale and push aside Miss Milroy; the question is so shockingly direct that I genuinely can’t respond. Instead, ask me if it’s my humble ambition in life to become Miss Milroy’s governess?’ Yes, if you would, Mrs. Oldershaw, and if you’ll help me by being my reference.”
“There it is for you! If some serious disaster happens (which is quite possible), what a comfort it will be to remember that it was all my fault!
“There it is for you! If something really bad happens (which is totally possible), what a relief it will be to remember that it was all my fault!
“Now I have done this for you, will you do something for me. I want to dream away the little time I am likely to have left here in my own way. Be a merciful Mother Oldershaw, and spare me the worry of looking at the Ins and Outs, and adding up the chances For and Against, in this new venture of mine. Think for me, in short, until I am obliged to think for myself.
“Now that I've done this for you, will you do something for me? I want to spend the little time I probably have left here the way I want. Please, kind Mother Oldershaw, spare me the stress of looking at the ins and outs, and calculating the pros and cons of this new venture of mine. Just think for me, in short, until I have to think for myself.”
“I had better not write any more, or I shall say something savage that you won’t like. I am in one of my tempers to-night. I want a husband to vex, or a child to beat, or something of that sort. Do you ever like to see the summer insects kill themselves in the candle? I do, sometimes. Good-night, Mrs. Jezebel. The longer you can leave me here the better. The air agrees with me, and I am looking charmingly.
“I better not write any more, or I’ll say something harsh that you won’t like. I’m in one of my moods tonight. I want a husband to annoy, or a child to take my frustration out on, or something like that. Do you ever enjoy watching summer bugs die in the candle? I do, sometimes. Good night, Mrs. Jezebel. The longer you can leave me here, the better. The air suits me, and I’m looking great.”
“L. G.”
“L. G.”
7. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
7. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Thursday.
Thursday.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—Some persons in my situation might be a little offended at the tone of your last letter. But I am so fondly attached to you! And when I love a person, it is so very hard, my dear, for that person to offend me! Don’t ride quite so far, and only drink half a tumblerful of claret next time. I say no more.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—Some people in my position might feel a bit offended by the tone of your last letter. But I am so attached to you! And when I love someone, it’s really hard, my dear, for that person to upset me! Don’t ride quite so far, and only drink half a glass of claret next time. I won’t say anything more.”
“Shall we leave off our fencing-match and come to serious matters now? How curiously hard it always seems to be for women to understand each other, especially when they have got their pens in their hands! But suppose we try.
“Should we stop our fencing match and get to the serious stuff now? It always seems oddly difficult for women to understand one another, especially when they have their pens in hand! But let’s give it a shot.”
“Well, then, to begin with: I gather from your letter that you have wisely decided to try the Thorpe Ambrose experiment, and to secure, if you can, an excellent position at starting by becoming a member of Major Milroy’s household. If the circumstances turn against you, and some other woman gets the governess’s place (about which I shall have something more to say presently), you will then have no choice but to make Mr. Armadale’s acquaintance in some other character. In any case, you will want my assistance; and the first question, therefore, to set at rest between us is the question of what I am willing to do, and what I can do, to help you.
“Well, to start with: I see from your letter that you’ve smartly decided to give the Thorpe Ambrose experiment a try and to secure, if possible, a good position from the beginning by joining Major Milroy’s household. If things don’t work out and another woman gets the governess position (which I’ll discuss in more detail soon), you’ll have no choice but to meet Mr. Armadale in some other role. In any case, you’ll need my help; so the first thing we need to clarify is what I’m willing to do and what I can do to support you.”
“A woman, my dear Lydia, with your appearance, your manners, your abilities, and your education, can make almost any excursions into society that she pleases if she only has money in her pocket and a respectable reference to appeal to in cases of emergency. As to the money, in the first place. I will engage to find it, on condition of your remembering my assistance with adequate pecuniary gratitude if you win the Armadale prize. Your promise so to remember me, embodying the terms in plain figures, shall be drawn out on paper by my own lawyer, so that we can sign and settle at once when I see you in London.
“A woman, my dear Lydia, with your looks, your manners, your skills, and your education, can enter almost any social setting she wants if she has some money in her pocket and a good reference to rely on in case of emergencies. As for the money, I’m willing to find it, on the condition that you remember my help with the proper financial gratitude if you win the Armadale prize. Your commitment to remember me, laid out clearly in numbers, will be drafted on paper by my lawyer, so we can sign and finalize everything when I see you in London.”
“Next, as to the reference.
"Next, regarding the reference."
“Here, again, my services are at your disposal, on another condition. It is this: that you present yourself at Thorpe Ambrose, under the name to which you have returned ever since that dreadful business of your marriage; I mean your own maiden name of Gwilt. I have only one motive in insisting on this; I wish to run no needless risks. My experience, as confidential adviser of my customers, in various romantic cases of private embarrassment, has shown me that an assumed name is, nine times out of ten, a very unnecessary and a very dangerous form of deception. Nothing could justify your assuming a name but the fear of young Armadale’s detecting you—a fear from which we are fortunately relieved by his mother’s own conduct in keeping your early connection with her a profound secret from her son and from everybody.
“Here, once again, I’m ready to help you, but with one condition. You need to show up at Thorpe Ambrose using the name you’ve gone back to since that terrible situation with your marriage; I mean your maiden name, Gwilt. The only reason I’m insisting on this is that I don’t want to take unnecessary risks. My experience as a trusted advisor to my clients in various sensitive private matters has taught me that using a fake name is, nine times out of ten, an unnecessary and dangerous deception. The only reason you would need to use a different name would be the fear of young Armadale discovering who you are—a fear that thankfully we don’t have to worry about because his mother has kept your past connection with her a complete secret from him and everyone else.”
“The next, and last, perplexity to settle relates, my dear, to the chances for and against your finding your way, in the capacity of governess, into Major Milroy’s house. Once inside the door, with your knowledge of music and languages, if you can keep your temper, you may be sure of keeping the place. The only doubt, as things are now, is whether you can get it.
“The next and final issue to resolve, my dear, concerns the likelihood of you successfully finding a position as a governess in Major Milroy’s house. Once you’re in the door, with your skills in music and languages, as long as you can stay calm, you can be confident in keeping the job. The only uncertainty at this point is whether you can actually secure it.”
“In the major’s present difficulty about his daughter’s education, the chances are, I think, in favor of his advertising for a governess. Say he does advertise, what address will he give for applicants to write to?
“In the major’s current struggle with his daughter’s education, I think the odds are that he will look for a governess. If he does look, what address will he provide for applicants to contact?”
“If he gives an address in London, good-by to all chances in your favor at once; for this plain reason, that we shall not be able to pick out his advertisement from the advertisements of other people who want governesses, and who will give them addresses in London as well. If, on the other hand, our luck helps us, and he refers his correspondents to a shop, post-office, or what not at Thorpe Ambrose, there we have our advertiser as plainly picked out for us as we can wish. In this last case, I have little or no doubt—with me for your reference—of your finding your way into the major’s family circle. We have one great advantage over the other women who will answer the advertisement. Thanks to my inquiries on the spot, I know Major Milroy to be a poor man; and we will fix the salary you ask at a figure that is sure to tempt him. As for the style of the letter, if you and I together can’t write a modest and interesting application for the vacant place, I should like to know who can?
“If he lists an address in London, say goodbye to any chances in your favor right away. The main reason is that we won't be able to distinguish his ad from others by people looking for governesses, who will also list London addresses. However, if luck is on our side and he directs his correspondents to a shop, post office, or something similar at Thorpe Ambrose, we’ll have our advertiser clearly identified. In this case, I have little doubt—with me as your reference—that you’ll find your way into the major’s family circle. We have a significant advantage over the other women responding to the ad. Thanks to my inquiries on the ground, I know Major Milroy is not wealthy; we can set the salary you want at a figure that will definitely attract him. As for the letter's tone, if we can't come up with a modest and engaging application for the job together, I’d like to know who could!"
“All this, however, is still in the future. For the present my advice is, stay where you are, and dream to your heart’s content, till you hear from me again. I take in The Times regularly, and you may trust my wary eye not to miss the right advertisement. We can luckily give the major time, without doing any injury to our own interests; for there is no fear just yet of the girl’s getting the start of you. The public reception, as we know, won’t be ready till near the end of the month; and we may safely trust young Armadale’s vanity to keep him out of his new house until his flatterers are all assembled to welcome him.
“All of this, however, is still in the future. For now, my advice is to stay where you are and dream as much as you want until you hear from me again. I subscribe to The Times regularly, and you can trust my careful eye to spot the right advertisement. Fortunately, we can give the major time without harming our own interests, since there’s no real worry about the girl getting ahead of you just yet. The public reception, as we know, won’t be ready until near the end of the month, and we can safely rely on young Armadale’s ego to keep him out of his new house until all his admirers are gathered to welcome him.”
“It’s odd, isn’t it, to think how much depends on this half-pay officer’s decision? For my part, I shall wake every morning now with the same question in my mind: If the major’s advertisment appears, which will the major say—Thorpe Ambrose, or London?
“It’s strange, isn’t it, to consider how much rides on this half-pay officer’s decision? From now on, I’ll wake up every morning with the same question on my mind: If the major’s advertisement comes out, which will the major mention—Thorpe Ambrose or London?”
“Ever, my dear Lydia, affectionately yours,
“Always, my dear Lydia, lovingly yours,
“MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
“Maria Oldershaw.”
II. ALLAN AS A LANDED GENTLEMAN.
Early on the morning after his first night’s rest at Thorpe Ambrose, Allan rose and surveyed the prospect from his bedroom window, lost in the dense mental bewilderment of feeling himself to be a stranger in his own house.
Early in the morning after his first night at Thorpe Ambrose, Allan got up and looked out from his bedroom window, caught in the thick confusion of feeling like a stranger in his own home.
The bedroom looked out over the great front door, with its portico, its terrace and flight of steps beyond, and, further still, the broad sweep of the well-timbered park to close the view. The morning mist nestled lightly about the distant trees; and the cows were feeding sociably, close to the iron fence which railed off the park from the drive in front of the house. “All mine!” thought Allan, staring in blank amazement at the prospect of his own possessions. “Hang me if I can beat it into my head yet. All mine!”
The bedroom overlooked the grand front door, with its porch, terrace, and staircase beyond, and further out, the wide stretch of the well-wooded park that completed the view. The morning mist gently wrapped around the distant trees, and the cows were grazing comfortably near the iron fence that separated the park from the driveway in front of the house. “It's all mine!” Allan thought, staring in stunned disbelief at the sight of his own property. “I can't believe it’s really happening. All mine!”
He dressed, left his room, and walked along the corridor which led to the staircase and hall, opening the doors in succession as he passed them.
He got dressed, left his room, and walked down the hallway that led to the staircase and the hall, opening the doors one after the other as he went.
The rooms in this part of the house were bedrooms and dressing-rooms, light, spacious, perfectly furnished; and all empty, except the one bed-chamber next to Allan’s, which had been appropriated to Midwinter. He was still sleeping when his friend looked in on him, having sat late into the night writing his letter to Mr. Brock. Allan went on to the end of the first corridor, turned at right angles into a second, and, that passed, gained the head of the great staircase. “No romance here,” he said to himself, looking down the handsomely carpeted stone stairs into the bright modern hall. “Nothing to startle Midwinter’s fidgety nerves in this house.” There was nothing, indeed; Allan’s essentially superficial observation had not misled him for once. The mansion of Thorpe Ambrose (built after the pulling down of the dilapidated old manor-house) was barely fifty years old. Nothing picturesque, nothing in the slightest degree suggestive of mystery and romance, appeared in any part of it. It was a purely conventional country house—the product of the classical idea filtered judiciously through the commercial English mind. Viewed on the outer side, it presented the spectacle of a modern manufactory trying to look like an ancient temple. Viewed on the inner side, it was a marvel of luxurious comfort in every part of it, from basement to roof. “And quite right, too,” thought Allan, sauntering contentedly down the broad, gently graduated stairs. “Deuce take all mystery and romance! Let’s be clean and comfortable, that’s what I say.”
The rooms in this part of the house were bedrooms and dressing rooms, bright, spacious, and well-furnished; all empty except for one bedroom next to Allan's, which was assigned to Midwinter. He was still asleep when his friend checked on him, having stayed up late writing his letter to Mr. Brock. Allan continued to the end of the first corridor, turned sharply into a second one, and then reached the top of the grand staircase. “No romance here,” he muttered to himself, looking down the elegantly carpeted stone stairs into the bright modern hall. “Nothing to disturb Midwinter’s jumpy nerves in this house.” There really was nothing; Allan’s fundamentally superficial observation had not deceived him this time. The mansion at Thorpe Ambrose (built after the old, dilapidated manor was torn down) was barely fifty years old. There was nothing picturesque, nothing at all hinting at mystery and romance, anywhere in it. It was a completely conventional country house—the result of classic ideas carefully filtered through the commercial English mindset. From the outside, it looked like a modern factory trying to resemble an ancient temple. From the inside, it was a marvel of luxurious comfort throughout, from the basement to the roof. “And that’s perfectly fine,” thought Allan, strolling contentedly down the wide, gently sloping stairs. “Forget all the mystery and romance! Let’s just be clean and comfortable, that’s what I say.”
Arrived in the hall, the new master of Thorpe Ambrose hesitated, and looked about him, uncertain which way to turn next.
Arriving in the hall, the new master of Thorpe Ambrose paused and looked around, unsure of which direction to take next.
The four reception-rooms on the ground-floor opened into the hall, two on either side. Allan tried the nearest door on his right hand at a venture, and found himself in the drawing-room. Here the first sign of life appeared, under life’s most attractive form. A young girl was in solitary possession of the drawing-room. The duster in her hand appeared to associate her with the domestic duties of the house; but at that particular moment she was occupied in asserting the rights of nature over the obligations of service. In other words, she was attentively contemplating her own face in the glass over the mantelpiece.
The four reception rooms on the ground floor opened into the hall, two on each side. Allan randomly tried the nearest door on his right and found himself in the drawing room. Here, he encountered the first sign of life, in its most attractive form. A young girl was alone in the room. The duster in her hand suggested she was connected to the household chores, but at that moment, she was busy prioritizing her natural instincts over her duties. In other words, she was intently admiring her reflection in the mirror above the mantelpiece.
“There! there! don’t let me frighten you,” said Allan, as the girl started away from the glass, and stared at him in unutterable confusion. “I quite agree with you, my dear; your face is well worth looking at. Who are you? Oh, the housemaid. And what’s your name? Susan, eh? Come! I like your name, to begin with. Do you know who I am, Susan? I’m your master, though you may not think it. Your character? Oh, yes! Mrs. Blanchard gave you a capital character. You shall stop here; don’t be afraid. And you’ll be a good girl, Susan, and wear smart little caps and aprons and bright ribbons, and you’ll look nice and pretty, and dust the furniture, won’t you?” With this summary of a housemaid’s duties, Allan sauntered back into the hall, and found more signs of life in that quarter. A man-servant appeared on this occasion, and bowed, as became a vassal in a linen jacket, before his liege lord in a wide-awake hat.
“There! there! don’t let me scare you,” said Allan, as the girl stepped back from the glass and stared at him in total confusion. “I completely agree with you, my dear; your face is definitely worth looking at. Who are you? Oh, the housemaid. And what’s your name? Susan, right? Good! I like your name, to start with. Do you know who I am, Susan? I’m your master, even if you don’t think so. Your character? Oh, yes! Mrs. Blanchard gave you an excellent reference. You can stay here; don’t be worried. And you’ll be a good girl, Susan, and wear cute little caps and aprons and bright ribbons, and you’ll look nice and pretty, and dust the furniture, won’t you?” With this summary of a housemaid’s responsibilities, Allan walked back into the hall and found more signs of activity in that area. A male servant appeared this time and bowed, as was appropriate for a servant in a linen jacket, before his master in a wide-brimmed hat.
“And who may you be?” asked Allan. “Not the man who let us in last night? Ah, I thought not. The second footman, eh? Character? Oh, yes; capital character. Stop here, of course. You can valet me, can you? Bother valeting me! I like to put on my own clothes, and brush them, too, when they are on; and, if I only knew how to black my own boots, by George, I should like to do it! What room’s this? Morning-room, eh? And here’s the dining-room, of course. Good heavens, what a table! it’s as long as my yacht, and longer. I say, by-the-by, what’s your name? Richard, is it? Well, Richard, the vessel I sail in is a vessel of my own building! What do you think of that? You look to me just the right sort of man to be my steward on board. If you’re not sick at sea—oh, you are sick at sea? Well, then, we’ll say nothing more about it. And what room is this? Ah, yes; the library, of course—more in Mr. Midwinter’s way than mine. Mr. Midwinter is the gentleman who came here with me last night; and mind this, Richard, you’re all to show him as much attention as you show me. Where are we now? What’s this door at the back? Billiard-room and smoking-room, eh? Jolly. Another door! and more stairs! Where do they go to? and who’s this coming up? Take your time, ma’am; you’re not quite so young as you were once—take your time.”
“And who are you?” asked Allan. “Not the guy who let us in last night? Ah, I figured as much. The second footman, right? Got some character, huh? Of course, you’ll stick around. You can help me get dressed, right? Forget about helping me! I prefer to put on my own clothes and brush them myself when I’m wearing them; and if I knew how to polish my own boots, I’d love to do that, too! What room is this? Morning room, huh? And here’s the dining room, of course. Good heavens, what a table! It’s as long as my yacht, if not longer. By the way, what’s your name? Richard, is it? Well, Richard, the boat I sail on is one I built myself! What do you think of that? You look like just the right kind of guy to be my steward on board. If you’re not seasick—oh, you are seasick? Well, let’s not talk about that then. And what room is this? Ah, yes; the library, of course—more Mr. Midwinter’s style than mine. Mr. Midwinter is the gentleman who came here with me last night; and remember this, Richard, you’re to give him as much attention as you give me. Where are we now? What’s that door in the back? Billiard room and smoking room, huh? Nice. Another door! And more stairs! Where do they lead? And who’s this coming up? Take your time, ma’am; you’re not as young as you used to be—take your time.”
The object of Allan’s humane caution was a corpulent elderly woman of the type called “motherly.” Fourteen stairs were all that separated her from the master of the house; she ascended them with fourteen stoppages and fourteen sighs. Nature, various in all things, is infinitely various in the female sex. There are some women whose personal qualities reveal the Loves and the Graces; and there are other women whose personal qualities suggest the Perquisites and the Grease Pot. This was one of the other women.
The focus of Allan’s thoughtful concern was a plump older woman often described as “motherly.” Fourteen stairs were all that stood between her and the head of the household; she climbed them with fourteen pauses and fourteen sighs. Nature, diverse in all things, is especially diverse in women. Some women show off beauty and grace, while others hint at practicality and a love for comfort food. This was one of those other women.
“Glad to see you looking so well, ma’am,” said Allan, when the cook, in the majesty of her office, stood proclaimed before him. “Your name is Gripper, is it? I consider you, Mrs. Gripper, the most valuable person in the house. For this reason, that nobody in the house eats a heartier dinner every day than I do. Directions? Oh, no; I’ve no directions to give. I leave all that to you. Lots of strong soup, and joints done with the gravy in them—there’s my notion of good feeding, in two words. Steady! Here’s somebody else. Oh, to be sure—the butler! Another valuable person. We’ll go right through all the wine in the cellar, Mr. Butler; and if I can’t give you a sound opinion after that, we’ll persevere boldly, and go right through it again. Talking of wine—halloo! here are more of them coming up stairs. There! there! don’t trouble yourselves. You’ve all got capital characters, and you shall all stop here along with me. What was I saying just now? Something about wine; so it was. I’ll tell you what, Mr. Butler, it isn’t every day that a new master comes to Thorpe Ambrose; and it’s my wish that we should all start together on the best possible terms. Let the servants have a grand jollification downstairs to celebrate my arrival, and give them what they like to drink my health in. It’s a poor heart, Mrs. Gripper, that never rejoices, isn’t it? No; I won’t look at the cellar now: I want to go out, and get a breath of fresh air before breakfast. Where’s Richard? I say, have I got a garden here? Which side of the house is it! That side, eh? You needn’t show me round. I’ll go alone, Richard, and lose myself, if I can, in my own property.”
“Glad to see you looking so well, ma’am,” said Allan, when the cook, in her full authority, stood before him. “Your name is Gripper, right? I think you, Mrs. Gripper, are the most important person in the house. The reason is that no one in this house enjoys a heartier dinner than I do every day. Directions? Oh, no; I have no instructions to give. I’ll leave all that to you. Lots of strong soup and roasted meats with gravy—that’s my idea of good eating, in two words. Wait! Here comes someone else. Oh, right—the butler! Another key person. We’ll go through all the wine in the cellar, Mr. Butler; and if I can’t give you a solid opinion afterward, we’ll keep going and finish it again. Speaking of wine—hey! here come more of them up the stairs. There! there! don’t worry about it. You all have excellent characters, and you can all stay here with me. What was I saying just now? Something about wine; yes, that’s it. I want us all to start off on the best possible terms now that a new master has arrived at Thorpe Ambrose. Let the staff have a big celebration downstairs to mark my arrival, and let them drink whatever they want to toast my health. It’s a sad heart, Mrs. Gripper, that never celebrates, isn’t it? No; I won’t look at the cellar now: I want to go out and get some fresh air before breakfast. Where’s Richard? Hey, do I have a garden here? Which side of the house is it? That side, huh? You don’t need to show me around. I’ll go by myself, Richard, and see if I can get lost in my own property.”
With those words Allan descended the terrace steps in front of the house, whistling cheerfully. He had met the serious responsibility of settling his domestic establishment to his own entire satisfaction. “People talk of the difficulty of managing their servants,” thought Allan. “What on earth do they mean? I don’t see any difficulty at all.” He opened an ornamental gate leading out of the drive at the side of the house, and, following the footman’s directions, entered the shrubbery that sheltered the Thorpe Ambrose gardens. “Nice shady sort of place for a cigar,” said Allan, as he sauntered along with his hands in his pockets “I wish I could beat it into my head that it really belongs to me.”
With those words, Allan walked down the steps in front of the house, whistling happily. He had successfully managed to set up his home to his complete satisfaction. “People talk about how hard it is to manage their staff,” Allan thought. “What do they even mean? I don’t see anything difficult about it.” He opened a decorative gate leading out of the driveway at the side of the house, and, following the footman’s instructions, walked into the shrubbery that bordered the Thorpe Ambrose gardens. “Nice shady spot for a cigar,” said Allan, as he strolled along with his hands in his pockets. “I wish I could convince myself that it really belongs to me.”
The shrubbery opened on the broad expanse of a flower garden, flooded bright in its summer glory by the light of the morning sun.
The bushes gave way to a wide stretch of a flower garden, awash in the vibrant colors of summer, illuminated by the morning sun.
On one side, an archway, broken through, a wall, led into the fruit garden. On the other, a terrace of turf led to ground on a lower level, laid out as an Italian garden. Wandering past the fountains and statues, Allan reached another shrubbery, winding its way apparently to some remote part of the grounds. Thus far, not a human creature had been visible or audible anywhere; but, as he approached the end of the second shrubbery, it struck him that he heard something on the other side of the foliage. He stopped and listened. There were two voices speaking distinctly—an old voice that sounded very obstinate, and a young voice that sounded very angry.
On one side, there was an archway that had been broken through a wall, leading into the fruit garden. On the other side, a grassy terrace led down to a lower level, designed as an Italian garden. As Allan wandered past the fountains and statues, he reached another area of shrubs that seemed to wind toward a distant part of the grounds. So far, he hadn't seen or heard any other people; however, as he neared the end of the second area of shrubs, he thought he heard something on the other side of the foliage. He paused and listened. There were two voices speaking clearly—an old voice that sounded very stubborn, and a young voice that sounded very angry.
“It’s no use, miss,” said the old voice. “I mustn’t allow it, and I won’t allow it. What would Mr. Armadale say?”
“It’s pointless, miss,” said the old voice. “I can’t allow it, and I won’t let it happen. What would Mr. Armadale think?”
“If Mr. Armadale is the gentleman I take him for, you old brute!” replied the young voice, “he would say, ‘Come into my garden, Miss Milroy, as often as you like, and take as many nosegays as you please.’” Allan’s bright blue eyes twinkled mischievously. Inspired by a sudden idea, he stole softly to the end of the shrubbery, darted round the corner of it, and, vaulting over a low ring fence, found himself in a trim little paddock, crossed by a gravel walk. At a short distance down the wall stood a young lady, with her back toward him, trying to force her way past an impenetrable old man, with a rake in his hand, who stood obstinately in front of her, shaking his head.
“If Mr. Armadale is the guy I think he is, you old brute!” replied the young voice. “He'd say, ‘Come into my garden, Miss Milroy, anytime you want, and take as many flowers as you like.’” Allan’s bright blue eyes twinkled playfully. Suddenly inspired, he quietly made his way to the end of the shrubbery, darted around the corner, and, jumping over a low ring fence, found himself in a neat little paddock with a gravel path. A short distance down the wall, he saw a young lady with her back to him, trying to get past a stubborn old man with a rake in his hand, who was shaking his head and blocking her way.
“Come into my garden, Miss Milroy, as often as you like, and take as many nosegays as you please,” cried Allan, remorselessly repeating her own words.
“Come into my garden, Miss Milroy, whenever you want, and take as many bouquets as you like,” Allan exclaimed, mercilessly echoing her own words.
The young lady turned round, with a scream; her muslin dress, which she was holding up in front, dropped from her hand, and a prodigious lapful of flowers rolled out on the gravel walk.
The young lady spun around, screaming; her muslin dress, which she was holding up in front, slipped from her hand, and a huge bunch of flowers tumbled out onto the gravel path.
Before another word could be said, the impenetrable old man stepped forward, with the utmost composure, and entered on the question of his own personal interests, as if nothing whatever had happened, and nobody was present but his new master and himself.
Before another word could be said, the unyielding old man stepped forward, completely calm, and began discussing his own personal interests, as if nothing had happened and no one was there except for his new master and himself.
“I bid you humbly welcome to Thorpe Ambrose, sir,” said this ancient of the gardens. “My name is Abraham Sage. I’ve been employed in the grounds for more than forty years; and I hope you’ll be pleased to continue me in my place.”
“I warmly welcome you to Thorpe Ambrose, sir,” said the old man of the gardens. “My name is Abraham Sage. I’ve worked on the grounds for over forty years, and I hope you’ll be happy to keep me in my position.”
So, with vision inexorably limited to the horizon of his own prospects, spoke the gardener, and spoke in vain. Allan was down on his knees on the gravel walk, collecting the fallen flowers, and forming his first impressions of Miss Milroy from the feet upward.
So, with his view strictly limited to his own possibilities, the gardener spoke, but it was pointless. Allan was kneeling on the gravel path, gathering the fallen flowers, and forming his first impressions of Miss Milroy from the ground up.
She was pretty; she was not pretty; she charmed, she disappointed, she charmed again. Tried by recognized line and rule, she was too short and too well developed for her age. And yet few men’s eyes would have wished her figure other than it was. Her hands were so prettily plump and dimpled that it was hard to see how red they were with the blessed exuberance of youth and health. Her feet apologized gracefully for her old and ill fitting shoes; and her shoulders made ample amends for the misdemeanor in muslin which covered them in the shape of a dress. Her dark-gray eyes were lovely in their clear softness of color, in their spirit, tenderness, and sweet good humor of expression; and her hair (where a shabby old garden hat allowed it to be seen) was of just that lighter shade of brown which gave value by contrast to the darker beauty of her eyes. But these attractions passed, the little attendant blemishes and imperfections of this self-contradictory girl began again. Her nose was too short, her mouth was too large, her face was too round and too rosy. The dreadful justice of photography would have had no mercy on her; and the sculptors of classical Greece would have bowed her regretfully out of their studios. Admitting all this, and more, the girdle round Miss Milroy’s waist was the girdle of Venus nevertheless; and the passkey that opens the general heart was the key she carried, if ever a girl possessed it yet. Before Allan had picked up his second handful of flowers, Allan was in love with her.
She was pretty; she was not pretty; she charmed, she disappointed, she charmed again. Judged by the usual standards, she was too short and too developed for her age. And yet few men would have wanted her figure to be any different. Her hands were pleasantly plump and dimpled, making it hard to notice how rosy they were with the vibrant energy of youth and health. Her feet gracefully compensated for her old, ill-fitting shoes; and her shoulders made up for the shortcomings of the muslin dress that covered them. Her dark-gray eyes were beautiful in their soft clarity, full of spirit, tenderness, and a cheerful expression; and her hair (where a worn old garden hat allowed it to be seen) was just the right lighter shade of brown that enhanced the darker beauty of her eyes. But as these charms faded, the little flaws and inconsistencies of this contradictory girl emerged again. Her nose was too short, her mouth too large, her face too round and too rosy. The harsh reality of photography would have shown no mercy on her; and the sculptors of classical Greece would have sadly dismissed her from their studios. Accepting all this, and more, the waist of Miss Milroy was nonetheless the waist of Venus; and the key that unlocked hearts everywhere was one she carried, if any girl ever did. Before Allan had picked up his second handful of flowers, he was already in love with her.
“Don’t! pray don’t, Mr. Armadale!” she said, receiving the flowers under protest, as Allan vigorously showered them back into the lap of her dress. “I am so ashamed! I didn’t mean to invite myself in that bold way into your garden; my tongue ran away with me—it did, indeed! What can I say to excuse myself? Oh, Mr. Armadale, what must you think of me?”
“Please don’t, Mr. Armadale!” she said, reluctantly accepting the flowers as Allan enthusiastically tossed them back onto her dress. “I’m so embarrassed! I didn’t mean to invite myself into your garden so boldly; I didn’t think before I spoke! What can I say to defend myself? Oh, Mr. Armadale, what must you think of me?”
Allan suddenly saw his way to a compliment, and tossed it up to her forthwith, with the third handful of flowers.
Allan suddenly came up with a compliment and tossed it to her right away, along with the third handful of flowers.
“I’ll tell you what I think, Miss Milroy,” he said, in his blunt, boyish way. “I think the luckiest walk I ever took in my life was the walk this morning that brought me here.”
“I’ll tell you what I think, Miss Milroy,” he said, in his straightforward, youthful way. “I think the luckiest walk I ever took in my life was the walk this morning that brought me here.”
He looked eager and handsome. He was not addressing a woman worn out with admiration, but a girl just beginning a woman’s life; and it did him no harm, at any rate, to speak in the character of master of Thorpe Ambrose. The penitential expression on Miss Milroy’s face gently melted away; she looked down, demure and smiling, at the flowers in her lap.
He looked eager and attractive. He wasn't talking to a woman exhausted from all the attention, but to a girl just starting her journey into adulthood; and it didn’t hurt him, at least, to speak as the master of Thorpe Ambrose. The remorseful look on Miss Milroy’s face gradually faded; she looked down, modest and smiling, at the flowers in her lap.
“I deserve a good scolding,” she said. “I don’t deserve compliments, Mr. Armadale—least of all from you.”
“I deserve a good scolding,” she said. “I don’t deserve compliments, Mr. Armadale—least of all from you.”
“Oh, yes, you do!” cried the headlong Allan, getting briskly on his legs. “Besides, it isn’t a compliment; it’s true. You are the prettiest—I beg your pardon, Miss Milroy! my tongue ran away with me that time.”
“Oh, yes, you do!” shouted the impulsive Allan, quickly getting to his feet. “Besides, it’s not a compliment; it’s a fact. You are the prettiest—I apologize, Miss Milroy! my tongue got the better of me that time.”
Among the heavy burdens that are laid on female human nature, perhaps the heaviest, at the age of sixteen, is the burden of gravity. Miss Milroy struggled, tittered, struggled again, and composed herself for the time being.
Among the significant pressures faced by women, perhaps the most challenging at the age of sixteen is the weight of responsibility. Miss Milroy fought against it, giggled nervously, fought again, and steadied herself for the moment.
The gardener, who still stood where he had stood from the first, immovably waiting for his next opportunity, saw it now, and gently pushed his personal interests into the first gap of silence that had opened within his reach since Allan’s appearance on the scene.
The gardener, who still stood in the same spot he had from the beginning, patiently waiting for his next chance, saw it now and quietly slipped his personal interests into the first moment of silence that had opened up since Allan showed up.
“I humbly bid you welcome to Thorpe Ambrose, sir,” said Abraham Sage, beginning obstinately with his little introductory speech for the second time. “My name—”
“I warmly welcome you to Thorpe Ambrose, sir,” said Abraham Sage, starting stubbornly with his short introduction for the second time. “My name—”
Before he could deliver himself of his name, Miss Milroy looked accidentally in the horticulturist’s pertinacious face, and instantly lost her hold on her gravity beyond recall. Allan, never backward in following a boisterous example of any sort, joined in her laughter with right goodwill. The wise man of the gardens showed no surprise, and took no offense. He waited for another gap of silence, and walked in again gently with his personal interests the moment the two young people stopped to take breath.
Before he could introduce himself, Miss Milroy accidentally caught a glimpse of the horticulturist's persistent face and immediately lost her composure. Allan, always eager to embrace a lively atmosphere, joined her laughter wholeheartedly. The knowledgeable man of the gardens showed no surprise and was not offended. He patiently waited for a pause in their conversation and smoothly reentered with his own interests as soon as the two young people paused to catch their breath.
“I have been employed in the grounds,” proceeded Abraham Sage, irrepressibly, “for more than forty years—”
“I have been working in the grounds,” continued Abraham Sage, unable to hold back, “for over forty years—”
“You shall be employed in the grounds for forty more, if you’ll only hold your tongue and take yourself off!” cried Allan, as soon as he could speak.
“You’ll be working in the fields for another forty if you just keep quiet and get out of here!” yelled Allan as soon as he could talk.
“Thank you kindly, sir,” said the gardener, with the utmost politeness, but with no present signs either of holding his tongue or of taking himself off.
“Thank you very much, sir,” said the gardener, with the utmost politeness, but with no indication of either keeping quiet or leaving.
“Well?” said Allan.
"Well?" Allan asked.
Abraham Sage carefully cleared his throat, and shifted his rake from one hand to the other. He looked down the length of his own invaluable implement, with a grave interest and attention, seeing, apparently, not the long handle of a rake, but the long perspective of a vista, with a supplementary personal interest established at the end of it. “When more convenient, sir,” resumed this immovable man, “I should wish respectfully to speak to you about my son. Perhaps it may be more convenient in the course of the day? My humble duty, sir, and my best thanks. My son is strictly sober. He is accustomed to the stables, and he belongs to the Church of England—without incumbrances.” Having thus planted his offspring provisionally in his master’s estimation, Abraham Sage shouldered his invaluable rake, and hobbled slowly out of view.
Abraham Sage cleared his throat carefully and shifted his rake from one hand to the other. He gazed down the length of his important tool with serious interest, seeming to see not just the long handle of a rake, but a long view with a personal connection waiting at the end of it. “When it’s more convenient for you, sir,” this steadfast man continued, “I would like to respectfully talk to you about my son. Maybe it would be easier to do so during the day? I appreciate your attention, sir. My son is entirely sober. He’s familiar with the stables, and he’s a member of the Church of England—without any complications.” Having established his son’s credentials in his master’s opinion, Abraham Sage shouldered his important rake and hobbled slowly out of sight.
“If that’s a specimen of a trustworthy old servant,” said Allan, “I think I’d rather take my chance of being cheated by a new one. You shall not be troubled with him again, Miss Milroy, at any rate. All the flower-beds in the garden are at your disposal, and all the fruit in the fruit season, if you’ll only come here and eat it.”
“If that’s what a reliable old servant looks like,” said Allan, “I think I’d rather risk being deceived by a new one. You won’t have to deal with him again, Miss Milroy, anyway. All the flower beds in the garden are yours to use, and all the fruit during the fruit season, as long as you come here and enjoy it.”
“Oh, Mr. Armadale, how very, very kind you are. How can I thank you?”
“Oh, Mr. Armadale, you’re so very kind. How can I thank you?”
Allan saw his way to another compliment—an elaborate compliment, in the shape of a trap, this time.
Allan found a way to give another compliment—an intricate one, but this time it was a bit of a trap.
“You can do me the greatest possible favor,” he said. “You can assist me in forming an agreeable impression of my own grounds.”
“You can do me the biggest favor,” he said. “You can help me create a good impression of my own property.”
“Dear me! how?” asked Miss Milroy, innocently.
“Goodness! how?” asked Miss Milroy, innocently.
Allan judiciously closed the trap on the spot in these words: “By taking me with you, Miss Milroy, on your morning walk.” He spoke, smiled, and offered his arm.
Allan wisely made his move right then and said, “By inviting me along, Miss Milroy, on your morning walk.” He spoke, smiled, and offered his arm.
She saw the way, on her side, to a little flirtation. She rested her hand on his arm, blushed, hesitated, and suddenly took it away again.
She noticed the chance for a little flirtation on her end. She rested her hand on his arm, blushed, hesitated, and then quickly pulled it away.
“I don’t think it’s quite right, Mr. Armadale,” she said, devoting herself with the deepest attention to her collection of flowers. “Oughtn’t we to have some old lady here? Isn’t it improper to take your arm until I know you a little better than I do now? I am obliged to ask; I have had so little instruction; I have seen so little of society, and one of papa’s friends once said my manners were too bold for my age. What do you think?”
“I don’t think that’s quite right, Mr. Armadale,” she said, focusing intently on her collection of flowers. “Shouldn’t we have some older woman here? Isn’t it inappropriate for you to take my arm until I know you a bit better? I have to ask; I haven’t had much guidance, I’ve been around so little of society, and one of my dad’s friends once said my manners were too forward for my age. What do you think?”
“I think it’s a very good thing your papa’s friend is not here now,” answered the outspoken Allan; “I should quarrel with him to a dead certainty. As for society, Miss Milroy, nobody knows less about it than I do; but if we had an old lady here, I must say myself I think she would be uncommonly in the way. Won’t you?” concluded Allan, imploringly offering his arm for the second time. “Do!”
“I think it’s great that your dad’s friend isn’t here right now,” answered the frank Allan. “I’d definitely end up arguing with him. As for society, Miss Milroy, I don’t know much about it at all; but if we had an old lady here, I honestly think she would just get in the way. Don’t you?” concluded Allan, earnestly offering his arm for the second time. “Please do!”
Miss Milroy looked up at him sidelong from her flowers “You are as bad as the gardener, Mr. Armadale!” She looked down again in a flutter of indecision. “I’m sure it’s wrong,” she said, and took his arm the instant afterward without the slightest hesitation.
Miss Milroy glanced up at him from her flowers, saying, “You’re just as troublesome as the gardener, Mr. Armadale!” She then looked down again, caught in a moment of uncertainty. “I know it’s wrong,” she admitted, but immediately took his arm without a hint of hesitation.
They moved away together over the daisied turf of the paddock, young and bright and happy, with the sunlight of the summer morning shining cloudless over their flowery path.
They walked away together across the grassy field filled with daisies, youthful and bright and happy, with the summer morning sun shining down without a cloud in the sky over their flowery path.
“And where are we going to, now?” asked Allan. “Into another garden?”
“And where are we going now?” asked Allan. “To another garden?”
She laughed gayly. “How very odd of you, Mr. Armadale, not to know, when it all belongs to you! Are you really seeing Thorpe Ambrose this morning for the first time? How indescribably strange it must feel! No, no; don’t say any more complimentary things to me just yet. You may turn my head if you do. We haven’t got the old lady with us; and I really must take care of myself. Let me be useful; let me tell you all about your own grounds. We are going out at that little gate, across one of the drives in the park, and then over the rustic bridge, and then round the corner of the plantation—where do you think? To where I live, Mr. Armadale; to the lovely little cottage that you have let to papa. Oh, if you only knew how lucky we thought ourselves to get it!”
She laughed happily. “How strange of you, Mr. Armadale, not to know, especially since it all belongs to you! Are you really seeing Thorpe Ambrose for the first time this morning? How incredibly weird that must feel! No, no; don’t say any more nice things to me just yet. You might make me dizzy if you do. We don’t have the old lady with us; and I really need to look out for myself. Let me help; let me tell you all about your own property. We’re going out that little gate, across one of the driveways in the park, then over the rustic bridge, and then around the corner of the woods—where do you think? To where I live, Mr. Armadale; to the charming little cottage that you have rented to my dad. Oh, if you only knew how lucky we felt to get it!”
She paused, looked up at her companion, and stopped another compliment on the incorrigible Allan’s lips.
She paused, looked up at her companion, and held back another compliment on the impossible Allan’s lips.
“I’ll drop your arm,” she said coquettishly, “if you do! We were lucky to get the cottage, Mr. Armadale. Papa said he felt under an obligation to you for letting it, the day we got in. And I said I felt under an obligation, no longer ago than last week.”
“I’ll let go of your arm,” she said playfully, “if you do! We were lucky to get the cottage, Mr. Armadale. Dad said he felt obligated to you for renting it to us the day we arrived. And I said I felt obligated, just last week.”
“You, Miss Milroy!” exclaimed Allan.
“You, Miss Milroy!” Allan exclaimed.
“Yes. It may surprise you to hear it; but if you hadn’t let the cottage to papa, I believe I should have suffered the indignity and misery of being sent to school.”
“Yes. You might be surprised to hear this, but if you hadn’t rented the cottage to dad, I think I would have had to face the embarrassment and unhappiness of being sent to school.”
Allan’s memory reverted to the half-crown that he had spun on the cabin-table of the yacht, at Castletown. “If she only knew that I had tossed up for it!” he thought, guiltily.
Allan remembered the half-crown he had flipped on the yacht's cabin table at Castletown. “If she only knew that I had gambled for it!” he thought, feeling guilty.
“I dare say you don’t understand why I should feel such a horror of going to school,” pursued Miss Milroy, misinterpreting the momentary silence on her companion’s side. “If I had gone to school in early life—I mean at the age when other girls go—I shouldn’t have minded it now. But I had no such chance at the time. It was the time of mamma’s illness and of papa’s unfortunate speculation; and as papa had nobody to comfort him but me, of course I stayed at home. You needn’t laugh; I was of some use, I can tell you. I helped papa over his trouble, by sitting on his knee after dinner, and asking him to tell me stories of all the remarkable people he had known when he was about in the great world, at home and abroad. Without me to amuse him in the evening, and his clock to occupy him in the daytime—”
“I bet you don’t get why I feel such a dread about going to school,” Miss Milroy continued, misunderstanding the brief silence from her companion. “If I had gone to school at the right age—like other girls—I wouldn’t mind it now. But I didn’t have that chance back then. It was during my mom’s illness and my dad’s bad investments; since my dad had no one to comfort him but me, I stayed at home. You don’t need to laugh; I was helpful, I promise. I supported my dad through his struggles by sitting on his lap after dinner and asking him to tell me stories about all the interesting people he’d met during his time in the big world, at home and abroad. Without me to keep him entertained in the evenings and his clock to keep him busy during the day—”
“His clock?” repeated Allan.
“His watch?” repeated Allan.
“Oh, yes! I ought to have told you. Papa is an extraordinary mechanical genius. You will say so, too, when you see his clock. It’s nothing like so large, of course, but it’s on the model of the famous clock at Strasbourg. Only think, he began it when I was eight years old; and (though I was sixteen last birthday) it isn’t finished yet! Some of our friends were quite surprised he should take to such a thing when his troubles began. But papa himself set that right in no time; he reminded them that Louis the Sixteenth took to lock-making when his troubles began, and then everybody was perfectly satisfied.” She stopped, and changed color confusedly. “Oh, Mr. Armadale,” she said, in genuine embarrassment this time, “here is my unlucky tongue running away with me again! I am talking to you already as if I had known you for years! This is what papa’s friend meant when he said my manners were too bold. It’s quite true; I have a dreadful way of getting familiar with people, if—” She checked herself suddenly, on the brink of ending the sentence by saying, “if I like them.”
“Oh, yes! I should have told you. Dad is an incredible mechanical genius. You’ll see for yourself when you check out his clock. It’s not nearly as big, but it’s based on the famous clock in Strasbourg. Can you believe he started it when I was eight? And even though I turned sixteen last birthday, it still isn’t finished! Some of our friends were really surprised he picked up such a hobby when his problems started. But Dad quickly put them at ease; he reminded them that Louis the Sixteenth took up lock-making when *his* troubles began, and after that, everyone was totally satisfied.” She paused and blushed, looking flustered. “Oh, Mr. Armadale,” she said, genuinely embarrassed this time, “my unfiltered mouth is running away with me again! I’m talking to you like I’ve known you for years! This is what Dad’s friend meant when he said my manners are too bold. It’s completely true; I have a terrible habit of getting too familiar with people, if—” She suddenly stopped, about to finish the sentence with “if I like them.”
“No, no; do go on!” pleaded Allan. “It’s a fault of mine to be familiar, too. Besides, we must be familiar; we are such near neighbors. I’m rather an uncultivated sort of fellow, and I don’t know quite how to say it; but I want your cottage to be jolly and friendly with my house, and my house to be jolly and friendly with your cottage. There’s my meaning, all in the wrong words. Do go on, Miss Milroy; pray go on!”
“Please, keep talking!” Allan urged. “I have a tendency to be too casual as well. Anyway, we really should be friendly since we live so close to each other. I’m kind of a rough-around-the-edges guy, and I’m not sure how to express it properly, but I want your cottage to feel cheerful and welcoming just like my house, and vice versa. That’s what I’m trying to say, even though I’m not using the right words. Please continue, Miss Milroy; I really want to hear more!”
She smiled and hesitated. “I don’t exactly remember where I was,” she replied, “I only remember I had something I wanted to tell you. This comes, Mr. Armadale, of my taking your arm. I should get on so much better, if you would only consent to walk separately. You won’t? Well, then, will you tell me what it was I wanted to say? Where was I before I went wandering off to papa’s troubles and papa’s clock?”
She smiled and hesitated. “I don’t really remember where I was,” she replied, “I only remember I had something I wanted to tell you. This is why, Mr. Armadale, I took your arm. I’d manage so much better if you would just agree to walk separately. You won’t? Well, then, could you remind me what it was I wanted to say? Where was I before I got distracted by dad’s troubles and dad’s clock?”
“At school!” replied Allan, with a prodigious effort of memory.
“At school!” Allan replied, with a tremendous effort to remember.
“Not at school, you mean,” said Miss Milroy; “and all through you. Now I can go on again, which is a great comfort. I am quite serious, Mr. Armadale, in saying that I should have been sent to school, if you had said No when papa proposed for the cottage. This is how it happened. When we began moving in, Mrs. Blanchard sent us a most kind message from the great house to say that her servants were at our disposal, if we wanted any assistance. The least papa and I could do, after that, was to call and thank her. We saw Mrs. Blanchard and Miss Blanchard. Mistress was charming, and miss looked perfectly lovely in her mourning. I’m sure you admire her? She’s tall and pale and graceful—quite your idea of beauty, I should think?”
“Not at school, right?” said Miss Milroy; “and all because of you. Now I can continue, which is a huge relief. I’m being completely serious, Mr. Armadale, when I say that I would have been sent to school if you had said No when Dad proposed for the cottage. Here’s what happened. When we started moving in, Mrs. Blanchard sent us a super nice message from the big house saying her staff was available to help us if we needed anything. The least Dad and I could do after that was to stop by and thank her. We met Mrs. Blanchard and Miss Blanchard. The lady was delightful, and the young lady looked absolutely stunning in her mourning attire. I’m sure you find her beautiful? She’s tall, pale, and graceful—definitely your idea of beauty, I would think?”
“Nothing like it,” began Allan. “My idea of beauty at the present moment—”
“Nothing like it,” Allan started. “My idea of beauty right now—”
Miss Milroy felt it coming, and instantly took her hand off his arm.
Miss Milroy felt it coming and quickly pulled her hand away from his arm.
“I mean I have never seen either Mrs. Blanchard or her niece,” added Allan, precipitately correcting himself.
“I mean I have never seen either Mrs. Blanchard or her niece,” Allan added quickly, correcting himself.
Miss Milroy tempered justice with mercy, and put her hand back again.
Miss Milroy balanced justice with compassion and placed her hand back down.
“How extraordinary that you should never have seen them!” she went on. “Why, you are a perfect stranger to everything and everybody at Thorpe Ambrose! Well, after Miss Blanchard and I had sat and talked a little while, I heard my name on Mrs. Blanchard’s lips and instantly held my breath. She was asking papa if I had finished my education. Out came papa’s great grievance directly. My old governess, you must know, left us to be married just before we came here, and none of our friends could produce a new one whose terms were reasonable. ‘I’m told, Mrs. Blanchard, by people who understand it better than I do,’ says papa, ‘that advertising is a risk. It all falls on me, in Mrs. Milroy’s state of health, and I suppose I must end in sending my little girl to school. Do you happen to know of a school within the means of a poor man?’ Mrs. Blanchard shook her head; I could have kissed her on the spot for doing it. ‘All my experience, Major Milroy,’ says this perfect angel of a woman, ‘is in favor of advertising. My niece’s governess was originally obtained by an advertisement, and you may imagine her value to us when I tell you she lived in our family for more than ten years.’ I could have gone down on both my knees and worshipped Mrs. Blanchard then and there; and I only wonder I didn’t! Papa was struck at the time—I could see that—and he referred to it again on the way home. ‘Though I have been long out of the world, my dear,’ says papa, ‘I know a highly-bred woman and a sensible woman when I see her. Mrs. Blanchard’s experience puts advertising in a new light; I must think about it.’ He has thought about it, and (though he hasn’t openly confessed it to me) I know that he decided to advertise, no later than last night. So, if papa thanks you for letting the cottage, Mr. Armadale, I thank you, too. But for you, we should never have known darling Mrs. Blanchard; and but for darling Mrs. Blanchard, I should have been sent to school.”
“How amazing that you’ve never met them!” she continued. “Honestly, you’re completely unfamiliar with everything and everyone in Thorpe Ambrose! Well, after Miss Blanchard and I chatted for a bit, I heard my name from Mrs. Blanchard and immediately held my breath. She was asking Dad if I had finished my education. That’s when Dad brought up his main complaint. You see, my old governess left us to get married just before we arrived here, and none of our friends could recommend a new one whose fees were reasonable. ‘I’m told, Mrs. Blanchard, by people who know more about it than I do,’ Dad says, ‘that advertising is a gamble. It all falls on me, considering Mrs. Milroy’s health, and I suppose I’ll end up having to send my little girl to school. Do you know of any schools that a poor man could afford?’ Mrs. Blanchard shook her head; I could have kissed her right then for doing that. ‘All my experience, Major Milroy,’ says this wonderful woman, ‘supports advertising. My niece’s governess was initially found through an ad, and you can imagine her worth to us since she stayed with our family for over ten years.’ I could have dropped to my knees and worshipped Mrs. Blanchard at that moment; I can’t believe I didn’t! Dad was clearly impressed—I could see it—and he mentioned it again on the way home. ‘Even though I’ve been away from society for a long time, my dear,’ Dad said, ‘I know a refined and sensible woman when I see one. Mrs. Blanchard’s experience gives advertising a new perspective; I need to consider it.’ He has thought about it, and (though he hasn’t told me directly) I know he decided to advertise no later than last night. So, if Dad thanks you for renting the cottage, Mr. Armadale, I thank you too. If it weren’t for you, we would never have met dear Mrs. Blanchard; and without dear Mrs. Blanchard, I would have been sent to school.”
Before Allan could reply, they turned the corner of the plantation, and came in sight of the cottage. Description of it is needless; the civilized universe knows it already. It was the typical cottage of the drawing-master’s early lessons in neat shading and the broad pencil touch—with the trim thatch, the luxuriant creepers, the modest lattice-windows, the rustic porch, and the wicker bird-cage, all complete.
Before Allan could respond, they turned the corner of the plantation and saw the cottage. There’s no need to describe it; the civilized world already knows it. It was the classic cottage from the drawing-master’s early lessons in neat shading and broad strokes—complete with the neat thatch, lush vines, modest lattice windows, rustic porch, and the wicker birdcage.
“Isn’t it lovely?” said Miss Milroy. “Do come in!”
“Isn’t it beautiful?” said Miss Milroy. “Please come in!”
“May I?” asked Allan. “Won’t the major think it too early?”
“May I?” Allan asked. “Don’t you think the major will consider it too early?”
“Early or late, I am sure papa will be only too glad to see you.”
“Whether you come early or late, I’m sure Dad will be more than happy to see you.”
She led the way briskly up the garden path, and opened the parlor door. As Allan followed her into the little room, he saw, at the further end of it, a gentleman sitting alone at an old-fashioned writing-table, with his back turned to his visitor.
She walked quickly up the garden path and opened the parlor door. As Allan followed her into the small room, he saw a man sitting alone at an old-fashioned writing desk at the far end, with his back to him.
“Papa! a surprise for you!” said Miss Milroy, rousing him from his occupation. “Mr. Armadale has come to Thorpe Ambrose; and I have brought him here to see you.”
“Dad! I have a surprise for you!” said Miss Milroy, waking him from what he was doing. “Mr. Armadale has arrived at Thorpe Ambrose, and I’ve brought him here to meet you.”
The major started; rose, bewildered for the moment; recovered himself immediately, and advanced to welcome his young landlord, with hospitable, outstretched hand.
The major started, stood up, a bit confused for a moment, quickly collected himself, and stepped forward to greet his young landlord with a friendly, outstretched hand.
A man with a larger experience of the world and a finer observation of humanity than Allan possessed would have seen the story of Major Milroy’s life written in Major Milroy’s face. The home troubles that had struck him were plainly betrayed in his stooping figure and his wan, deeply wrinkled cheeks, when he first showed himself on rising from his chair. The changeless influence of one monotonous pursuit and one monotonous habit of thought was next expressed in the dull, dreamy self-absorption of his manner and his look while his daughter was speaking to him. The moment after, when he had roused himself to welcome his guest, was the moment which made the self-revelation complete. Then there flickered in the major’s weary eyes a faint reflection of the spirit of his happier youth. Then there passed over the major’s dull and dreamy manner a change which told unmistakably of social graces and accomplishments, learned at some past time in no ignoble social school; a man who had long since taken his patient refuge from trouble in his own mechanical pursuit; a man only roused at intervals to know himself again for what he once had been. So revealed to all eyes that could read him aright, Major Milroy now stood before Allan, on the first morning of an acquaintance which was destined to be an event in Allan’s life.
A man with more experience of the world and a sharper understanding of people than Allan had would have seen Major Milroy’s life written all over his face. The personal troubles that weighed him down were clearly visible in his hunched shoulders and his pale, deeply wrinkled cheeks when he first stood up from his chair. The impact of one unchanging routine and one fixed way of thinking was shown in the dull, dreamy self-absorption of his behavior and expression while his daughter spoke to him. The moment he shook himself awake to greet his guest was the moment that revealed everything. In that instant, a faint glimmer of the spirit of his happier youth flickered in the major’s tired eyes. Then, his dull and dreamy demeanor shifted, unmistakably revealing the social skills and accomplishments he had once learned in a respectable social setting; he was a man who had long since sought refuge from his troubles in his mechanical pursuits, only occasionally stirring to remember who he used to be. So, revealed to anyone who could read him correctly, Major Milroy now stood before Allan on the first morning of an acquaintance that would become significant in Allan’s life.
“I am heartily glad to see you, Mr. Armadale,” he said, speaking in the changeless quiet, subdued tone peculiar to most men whose occupations are of the solitary and monotonous kind. “You have done me one favor already by taking me as your tenant, and you now do me another by paying this friendly visit. If you have not breakfasted already, let me waive all ceremony on my side, and ask you to take your place at our little table.”
“I’m really glad to see you, Mr. Armadale,” he said, speaking in the calm and subdued tone typical of most men whose work is solitary and routine. “You’ve already done me a favor by letting me be your tenant, and now you’re doing me another by coming for this friendly visit. If you haven’t had breakfast yet, let me skip all the formalities on my part and invite you to join me at our little table.”
“With the greatest pleasure, Major Milroy, if I am not in the way,” replied Allan, delighted at his reception. “I was sorry to hear from Miss Milroy that Mrs. Milroy is an invalid. Perhaps my being here unexpectedly; perhaps the sight of a strange face—”
“With the greatest pleasure, Major Milroy, if I’m not in the way,” replied Allan, happy with his welcome. “I was sorry to hear from Miss Milroy that Mrs. Milroy is unwell. Maybe my unexpected arrival; maybe seeing a new face—”
“I understand your hesitation, Mr. Armadale,” said the major; “but it is quite unnecessary. Mrs. Milroy’s illness keeps her entirely confined to her own room. Have we got everything we want on the table, my love?” he went on, changing the subject so abruptly that a closer observer than Allan might have suspected it was distasteful to him. “Will you come and make tea?”
“I get why you're hesitant, Mr. Armadale,” said the major; “but it's really not needed. Mrs. Milroy’s illness has her stuck in her room. Do we have everything we need on the table, my dear?” he continued, switching topics so suddenly that anyone closer than Allan might have thought he was uncomfortable with it. “Will you come and make tea?”
Miss Milroy’s attention appeared to be already pre-engaged; she made no reply. While her father and Allan had been exchanging civilities, she had been putting the writing-table in order, and examining the various objects scattered on it with the unrestrained curiosity of a spoiled child. The moment after the major had spoken to her, she discovered a morsel of paper hidden between the leaves of the blotting-book, snatched it up, looked at it, and turned round instantly, with an exclamation of surprise.
Miss Milroy seemed distracted; she didn’t respond. While her father and Allan were making small talk, she was tidying up the writing desk and examining the assorted items on it with the unfiltered curiosity of a spoiled child. Just after the major spoke to her, she found a piece of paper tucked between the pages of the blotter, grabbed it, looked at it, and immediately turned around with a look of surprise.
“Do my eyes deceive me, papa?” she asked. “Or were you really and truly writing the advertisement when I came in?”
“Am I seeing things, Dad?” she asked. “Or were you actually writing the ad when I walked in?”
“I had just finished it,” replied her father. “But, my dear, Mr. Armadale is here—we are waiting for breakfast.”
“I just finished it,” her father replied. “But, sweetheart, Mr. Armadale is here—we're waiting for breakfast.”
“Mr. Armadale knows all about it,” rejoined Miss Milroy. “I told him in the garden.”
“Mr. Armadale knows everything about it,” Miss Milroy replied. “I told him in the garden.”
“Oh, yes!” said Allan. “Pray, don’t make a stranger of me, major! If it’s about the governess, I’ve got something (in an indirect sort of way) to do with it too.”
“Oh, yes!” said Allan. “Please, don’t treat me like a stranger, major! If it’s about the governess, I have a connection to it as well.”
Major Milroy smiled. Before he could answer, his daughter, who had been reading the advertisement, appealed to him eagerly, for the second time.
Major Milroy smiled. Before he could respond, his daughter, who had been reading the ad, eagerly asked him again.
“Oh, papa,” she said, “there’s one thing here I don’t like at all! Why do you put grandmamma’s initials at the end? Why do you tell them to write to grandmamma’s house in London?”
“Oh, Dad,” she said, “there’s one thing here I really don’t like! Why do you put Grandma’s initials at the end? Why do you tell them to write to Grandma’s house in London?”
“My dear! your mother can do nothing in this matter, as you know. And as for me (even if I went to London), questioning strange ladies about their characters and accomplishments is the last thing in the world that I am fit to do. Your grandmamma is on the spot; and your grandmamma is the proper person to receive the letters, and to make all the necessary inquires.”
“My dear! Your mother can’t do anything about this, as you know. And as for me (even if I went to London), asking strange women about their reputations and skills is the last thing I’m qualified for. Your grandmother is right here, and she’s the right person to handle the letters and to make all the necessary inquiries.”
“But I want to see the letters myself,” persisted the spoiled child. “Some of them are sure to be amusing—”
“But I want to see the letters myself,” the spoiled child insisted. “Some of them are bound to be entertaining—”
“I don’t apologize for this very unceremonious reception of you, Mr. Armadale,” said the major, turning to Allan, with a quaint and quiet humor. “It may be useful as a warning, if you ever chance to marry and have a daughter, not to begin, as I have done, by letting her have her own way.”
“I don’t apologize for this rather casual welcome, Mr. Armadale,” said the major, turning to Allan with a quirky and calm humor. “It might serve as a reminder, if you ever happen to marry and have a daughter, not to start, as I did, by letting her have her own way.”
Allan laughed, and Miss Milroy persisted.
Allan laughed, and Miss Milroy kept going.
“Besides,” she went on, “I should like to help in choosing which letters we answer, and which we don’t. I think I ought to have some voice in the selection of my own governess. Why not tell them, papa, to send their letters down here—to the post-office or the stationer’s, or anywhere you like? When you and I have read them, we can send up the letters we prefer to grandmamma; and she can ask all the questions, and pick out the best governess, just as you have arranged already, without leaving ME entirely in the dark, which I consider (don’t you, Mr. Armadale?) to be quite inhuman. Let me alter the address, papa; do, there’s a darling!”
“Besides,” she continued, “I’d like to help decide which letters we respond to and which ones we ignore. I think I should have a say in choosing my own governess. Why not tell them, Dad, to send their letters down here—to the post office, the stationer’s, or anywhere you want? Once you and I read them, we can send the ones we prefer to Grandma; she can ask all the questions and pick out the best governess, just like you’ve already planned, without leaving me completely in the dark, which I think is pretty unfair (don’t you, Mr. Armadale?). Let me change the address, Dad; please, it would mean a lot!”
“We shall get no breakfast, Mr. Armadale, if I don’t say Yes,” said the major good-humoredly. “Do as you like, my dear,” he added, turning to his daughter. “As long as it ends in your grandmamma’s managing the matter for us, the rest is of very little consequence.”
“We won’t get breakfast, Mr. Armadale, if I don’t agree,” said the major with a smile. “Do what you want, my dear,” he added, looking at his daughter. “As long as it ends up with your grandma handling things for us, the rest doesn’t really matter.”
Miss Milroy took up her father’s pen, drew it through the last line of the advertisement, and wrote the altered address with her own hand as follows:
Miss Milroy picked up her father's pen, crossed out the last line of the advertisement, and wrote the new address in her own handwriting like this:
“Apply, by letter, to M., Post-office, Thorpe Ambrose, Norfolk.”
Apply by letter to M., Post Office, Thorpe Ambrose, Norfolk.
“There!” she said, bustling to her place at the breakfast-table. “The advertisement may go to London now; and, if a governess does come of it, oh, papa, who in the name of wonder will she be? Tea or coffee, Mr. Armadale? I’m really ashamed of having kept you waiting. But it is such a comfort,” she added, saucily, “to get all one’s business off one’s mind before breakfast!”
“There!” she said, hurrying to her seat at the breakfast table. “The advertisement can go to London now; and if a governess *does* come from it, oh, Dad, who on earth will she be? Tea or coffee, Mr. Armadale? I’m really sorry for making you wait. But it’s such a relief,” she added playfully, “to clear all your business off your mind before breakfast!”
Father, daughter, and guest sat down together sociably at the little round table, the best of good neighbors and good friends already.
Father, daughter, and guest sat down together comfortably at the small round table, already the best of neighbors and friends.
Three days later, one of the London newsboys got his business off his mind before breakfast. His district was Diana Street, Pimlico; and the last of the morning’s newspapers which he disposed of was the newspaper he left at Mrs. Oldershaw’s door.
Three days later, one of the London newsboys cleared his mind of business before breakfast. His area was Diana Street, Pimlico; and the last morning newspaper he sold was the one he left at Mrs. Oldershaw’s door.
III. THE CLAIMS OF SOCIETY.
More than an hour after Allan had set forth on his exploring expedition through his own grounds, Midwinter rose, and enjoyed, in his turn, a full view by daylight of the magnificence of the new house.
More than an hour after Allan had started his exploration of his own property, Midwinter got up and appreciated, in his own way, a complete view in daylight of the grandeur of the new house.
Refreshed by his long night’s rest, he descended the great staircase as cheerfully as Allan himself. One after another, he, too, looked into the spacious rooms on the ground floor in breathless astonishment at the beauty and the luxury which surrounded him. “The house where I lived in service when I was a boy, was a fine one,” he thought, gayly; “but it was nothing to this! I wonder if Allan is as surprised and delighted as I am?” The beauty of the summer morning drew him out through the open hall door, as it had drawn his friend out before him. He ran briskly down the steps, humming the burden of one of the old vagabond tunes which he had danced to long since in the old vagabond time. Even the memories of his wretched childhood took their color, on that happy morning, from the bright medium through which he looked back at them. “If I was not out of practice,” he thought to himself, as he leaned on the fence and looked over at the park, “I could try some of my old tumbling tricks on that delicious grass.” He turned, noticed two of the servants talking together near the shrubbery, and asked for news of the master of the house.
Refreshed from his long night’s sleep, he came down the grand staircase as cheerfully as Allan did. One by one, he glanced into the spacious rooms on the ground floor, breathless with astonishment at the beauty and luxury surrounding him. “The house I lived in when I was a boy was nice,” he thought happily; “but it was nothing like this! I wonder if Allan is as surprised and delighted as I am?” The beauty of the summer morning pulled him out through the open hall door, just like it had drawn his friend out before. He hurried down the steps, humming a tune from the old vagabond songs he had danced to long ago in a carefree time. Even the memories of his difficult childhood took on a brighter light on that happy morning. “If I wasn't out of practice,” he thought as he leaned on the fence and looked out over the park, “I could try some of my old acrobatic tricks on that lovely grass.” He turned, saw two of the servants chatting near the bushes, and asked for news about the master of the house.
The men pointed with a smile in the direction of the gardens; Mr. Armadale had gone that way more than an hour since, and had met (as had been reported) with Miss Milroy in the grounds. Midwinter followed the path through the shrubbery, but, on reaching the flower garden, stopped, considered a little, and retraced his steps. “If Allan has met with the young lady,” he said to himself, “Allan doesn’t want me.” He laughed as he drew that inevitable inference, and turned considerately to explore the beauties of Thorpe Ambrose on the other side of the house.
The men smiled and pointed toward the gardens; Mr. Armadale had gone that way more than an hour ago and had supposedly met Miss Milroy in the grounds. Midwinter followed the path through the shrubs but, upon reaching the flower garden, paused, thought for a moment, and turned back. “If Allan has met the young lady,” he said to himself, “Allan doesn’t need me.” He laughed at that conclusion and turned thoughtfully to explore the beauty of Thorpe Ambrose on the other side of the house.
Passing the angle of the front wall of the building, he descended some steps, advanced along a paved walk, turned another angle, and found himself in a strip of garden ground at the back of the house.
Passing the corner of the front wall of the building, he went down some steps, walked along a paved path, turned another corner, and ended up in a patch of garden behind the house.
Behind him was a row of small rooms situated on the level of the servants’ offices. In front of him, on the further side of the little garden, rose a wall, screened by a laurel hedge, and having a door at one end of it, leading past the stables to a gate that opened on the high-road. Perceiving that he had only discovered thus far the shorter way to the house, used by the servants and trades-people, Midwinter turned back again, and looked in at the window of one of the rooms on the basement story as he passed it. Were these the servants’ offices? No; the offices were apparently in some other part of the ground-floor; the window he had looked in at was the window of a lumber-room. The next two rooms in the row were both empty. The fourth window, when he approached it, presented a little variety. It served also as a door; and it stood open to the garden at that moment.
Behind him was a line of small rooms connected to the servants' offices. In front of him, on the other side of the little garden, there was a wall, hidden by a laurel hedge, with a door at one end that led past the stables to a gate opening onto the main road. Realizing that he had only figured out the shorter route to the house used by the servants and tradespeople, Midwinter turned back and glanced through the window of one of the basement rooms as he walked by. Were these the servants' offices? No; the offices were clearly somewhere else on the ground floor; the window he had peered into was that of a storage room. The next two rooms in the row were both vacant. The fourth window, as he got closer, offered a bit of variety. It also functioned as a door and was open to the garden at that moment.
Attracted by the book-shelves which he noticed on one of the walls, Midwinter stepped into the room.
Attracted by the bookshelves he saw on one of the walls, Midwinter walked into the room.
The books, few in number, did not detain him long; a glance at their backs was enough without taking them down. The Waverley Novels, Tales by Miss Edgeworth, and by Miss Edgeworth’s many followers, the Poems of Mrs. Hemans, with a few odd volumes of the illustrated gift-books of the period, composed the bulk of the little library. Midwinter turned to leave the room, when an object on one side of the window, which he had not previously noticed, caught his attention and stopped him. It was a statuette standing on a bracket—a reduced copy of the famous Niobe of the Florence Museum. He glanced from the statuette to the window, with a sudden doubt which set his heart throbbing fast. It was a French window. He looked out with a suspicion which he had not felt yet. The view before him was the view of a lawn and garden. For a moment his mind struggled blindly to escape the conclusion which had seized it, and struggled in vain. Here, close round him and close before him—here, forcing him mercilessly back from the happy present to the horrible past, was the room that Allan had seen in the Second Vision of the Dream.
The collection of books, though small, didn't take long to look through; just a quick glance at their spines was enough without pulling them out. The bulk of the tiny library consisted of the Waverley Novels, stories by Miss Edgeworth, and by many of her followers, the poems of Mrs. Hemans, along with a few random volumes of the illustrated gift-books from that time. Midwinter was about to leave the room when something by the window that he hadn’t noticed before caught his eye and stopped him. It was a statuette on a shelf—a small replica of the famous Niobe from the Florence Museum. He shifted his gaze from the statuette to the window, feeling a sudden doubt that made his heart race. It was a French window. He looked outside with a suspicion he hadn’t felt before. The view was of a lawn and garden. For a moment, his mind struggled desperately to avoid the conclusion that had taken hold of it, but it was no use. Right here, around him and directly in front of him—bringing him relentlessly back from a happy present to a terrifying past—was the room that Allan had seen in the Second Vision of the Dream.
He waited, thinking and looking round him while he thought. There was wonderfully little disturbance in his face and manner; he looked steadily from one to the other of the few objects in the room, as if the discovery of it had saddened rather than surprised him. Matting of some foreign sort covered the floor. Two cane chairs and a plain table comprised the whole of the furniture. The walls were plainly papered, and bare—broken to the eye in one place by a door leading into the interior of the house; in another, by a small stove; in a third, by the book-shelves which Midwinter had already noticed. He returned to the books, and this time he took some of them down from the shelves.
He waited, thinking and looking around while he did so. There was remarkably little change in his expression and demeanor; he gazed steadily at each of the few objects in the room, as if finding them had made him more sad than surprised. The floor was covered with some kind of foreign matting. Two cane chairs and a simple table made up all the furniture. The walls were simply papered and bare—broken in one spot by a door leading further into the house; in another by a small stove; and in a third by the book shelves that Midwinter had already noticed. He turned back to the books, and this time he took some of them down from the shelves.
The first that he opened contained lines in a woman’s handwriting, traced in ink that had faded with time. He read the inscription—“Jane Armadale, from her beloved father. Thorpe Ambrose, October, 1828.” In the second, third, and fourth volumes that he opened, the same inscription re-appeared. His previous knowledge of dates and persons helped him to draw the true inference from what he saw. The books must have belonged to Allan’s mother; and she must have inscribed them with her name, in the interval of time between her return to Thorpe Ambrose from Madeira and the birth of her son. Midwinter passed on to a volume on another shelf—one of a series containing the writings of Mrs. Hemans. In this case, the blank leaf at the beginning of the book was filled on both sides with a copy of verses, the writing being still in Mrs. Armadale’s hand. The verses were headed “Farewell to Thorpe Ambrose,” and were dated “March, 1829”—two months only after Allan had been born.
The first book he opened had lines written in a woman's handwriting, ink that had faded over time. He read the inscription—“Jane Armadale, from her beloved father. Thorpe Ambrose, October, 1828.” In the second, third, and fourth volumes he opened, the same inscription appeared again. His prior knowledge of dates and people allowed him to make the correct conclusion from what he saw. The books must have belonged to Allan’s mother; and she must have written her name in them during the time between her return to Thorpe Ambrose from Madeira and the birth of her son. Midwinter moved on to a book on another shelf—part of a series featuring the works of Mrs. Hemans. In this case, the blank page at the beginning of the book was filled on both sides with a copy of verses, still in Mrs. Armadale’s handwriting. The verses were titled “Farewell to Thorpe Ambrose,” and were dated “March, 1829”—just two months after Allan had been born.
Entirely without merit in itself, the only interest of the little poem was in the domestic story that it told.
Entirely lacking in value on its own, the only appeal of the little poem was in the personal story it conveyed.
The very room in which Midwinter then stood was described—with the view on the garden, the window made to open on it, the bookshelves, the Niobe, and other more perishable ornaments which Time had destroyed. Here, at variance with her brothers, shrinking from her friends, the widow of the murdered man had, on her own acknowledgment, secluded herself, without other comfort than the love and forgiveness of her father, until her child was born. The father’s mercy and the father’s recent death filled many verses, happily too vague in their commonplace expression of penitence and despair to give any hint of the marriage story in Madeira to any reader who looked at them ignorant of the truth. A passing reference to the writer’s estrangement from her surviving relatives, and to her approaching departure from Thorpe Ambrose, followed. Last came the assertion of the mother’s resolution to separate herself from all her old associations; to leave behind her every possession, even to the most trifling thing she had, that could remind her of the miserable past; and to date her new life in the future from the birthday of the child who had been spared to console her—who was now the one earthly object that could still speak to her of love and hope. So the old story of passionate feeling that finds comfort in phrases rather than not find comfort at all was told once again. So the poem in the faded ink faded away to its end.
The very room where Midwinter stood was described—with a view of the garden, a window that opened to it, bookshelves, the Niobe statue, and other delicate decorations that Time had worn away. Here, in contrast to her brothers and distancing herself from her friends, the widow of the murdered man had, by her own admission, secluded herself, finding comfort only in her father's love and forgiveness, until her child was born. The father's mercy and his recent death filled many verses, blissfully too vague in their common expressions of regret and despair to reveal any hints about the marriage story in Madeira to any reader unaware of the truth. A brief mention followed of the writer's alienation from her surviving family and her upcoming departure from Thorpe Ambrose. Lastly, the mother asserted her decision to cut ties with all her old connections; to leave behind every possession, even the smallest item that could remind her of her painful past; and to mark the start of her new life from the child's birthday—who had been spared to comfort her—now the only person left in her life that could still evoke feelings of love and hope. Thus, the old tale of intense emotion finding solace in words rather than remaining completely comfortless was retold once again. And so the poem in faded ink came to an end.
Midwinter put the book back with a heavy sigh, and opened no other volume on the shelves. “Here in the country house, or there on board the wreck,” he said, bitterly, “the traces of my father’s crime follow me, go where I may.” He advanced toward the window, stopped, and looked back into the lonely, neglected little room. “Is this chance?” he asked himself. “The place where his mother suffered is the place he sees in the Dream; and the first morning in the new house is the morning that reveals it, not to him, but to me. Oh, Allan! Allan! how will it end?”
Midwinter put the book back with a heavy sigh and didn’t open any other volumes on the shelves. “Here in the country house, or there on the wreck,” he said bitterly, “the reminders of my father’s crime follow me, no matter where I go.” He walked toward the window, stopped, and glanced back into the lonely, neglected little room. “Is this luck?” he asked himself. “The place where his mother suffered is the place he sees in the Dream; and the first morning in the new house is the morning that reveals it, not to him, but to me. Oh, Allan! Allan! how will this end?”
The thought had barely passed through his mind before he heard Allan’s voice, from the paved walk at the side of the house, calling to him by his name. He hastily stepped out into the garden. At the same moment Allan came running round the corner, full of voluble apologies for having forgotten, in the society of his new neighbors, what was due to the laws of hospitality and the claims of his friend.
The thought barely crossed his mind before he heard Allan’s voice from the paved path beside the house, calling his name. He quickly stepped into the garden. At that moment, Allan came rushing around the corner, overflowing with apologies for forgetting, while socializing with his new neighbors, about the rules of hospitality and his responsibility to his friend.
“I really haven’t missed you,” said Midwinter; “and I am very, very glad to hear that the new neighbors have produced such a pleasant impression on you already.”
“I really haven't missed you,” said Midwinter; “and I'm really, really glad to hear that the new neighbors have made such a nice impression on you already.”
He tried, as he spoke, to lead the way back by the outside of the house; but Allan’s flighty attention had been caught by the open window and the lonely little room. He stepped in immediately. Midwinter followed, and watched him in breathless anxiety as he looked round. Not the slightest recollection of the Dream troubled Allan’s easy mind. Not the slightest reference to it fell from the silent lips of his friend.
He tried, while he spoke, to guide their way back around the outside of the house; but Allan’s distracted attention was drawn to the open window and the lonely little room. He stepped inside right away. Midwinter followed and watched him with anxious anticipation as he looked around. Not a single thought of the Dream disturbed Allan’s carefree mind. No mention of it came from the silent lips of his friend.
“Exactly the sort of place I should have expected you to hit on!” exclaimed Allan, gayly. “Small and snug and unpretending. I know you, Master Midwinter! You’ll be slipping off here when the county families come visiting, and I rather think on those dreadful occasions you won’t find me far behind you. What’s the matter? You look ill and out of spirits. Hungry? Of course you are! unpardonable of me to have kept you waiting. This door leads somewhere, I suppose; let’s try a short cut into the house. Don’t be afraid of my not keeping you company at breakfast. I didn’t eat much at the cottage; I feasted my eyes on Miss Milroy, as the poets say. Oh, the darling! the darling! she turns you topsy-turvy the moment you look at her. As for her father, wait till you see his wonderful clock! It’s twice the size of the famous clock at Strasbourg, and the most tremendous striker ever heard yet in the memory of man!”
“Exactly the kind of place I should have expected you to find!” exclaimed Allan cheerfully. “Small, cozy, and unpretentious. I know you, Master Midwinter! You’ll be sneaking off here when the county families come to visit, and I suspect during those dreadful times, you won’t find me far behind you. What’s wrong? You look sick and down. Hungry? Of course you are! It’s inexcusable of me to have kept you waiting. This door must lead somewhere; let’s take a shortcut into the house. Don’t worry about me not joining you for breakfast. I didn’t eat much at the cottage; I just gawked at Miss Milroy, as the poets say. Oh, the darling! She turns your world upside down the moment you look at her. And her father, just wait until you see his amazing clock! It’s twice the size of the famous clock in Strasbourg, and the loudest striker anyone has heard in living memory!”
Singing the praises of his new friends in this strain at the top of his voice, Allan hurried Midwinter along the stone passages on the basement floor, which led, as he had rightly guessed, to a staircase communicating with the hall. They passed the servants’ offices on the way. At the sight of the cook and the roaring fire, disclosed through the open kitchen door, Allan’s mind went off at a tangent, and Allan’s dignity scattered itself to the four winds of heaven, as usual.
Singing the praises of his new friends at the top of his lungs, Allan rushed Midwinter through the stone hallways in the basement, which, as he had guessed, led to a staircase connecting to the main hall. They passed the servants' offices on the way. When he saw the cook and the roaring fire revealed through the open kitchen door, Allan's thoughts went off in a different direction, and his dignity flew out the window, as usual.
“Aha, Mrs. Gripper, there you are with your pots and pans, and your burning fiery furnace! One had need be Shadrach, Meshach, and the other fellow to stand over that. Breakfast as soon as ever you like. Eggs, sausages, bacon, kidneys, marmalade, water-cresses, coffee, and so forth. My friend and I belong to the select few whom it’s a perfect privilege to cook for. Voluptuaries, Mrs. Gripper, voluptuaries, both of us. You’ll see,” continued Allan, as they went on toward the stairs, “I shall make that worthy creature young again; I’m better than a doctor for Mrs. Gripper. When she laughs, she shakes her fat sides, and when she shakes her fat sides, she exerts her muscular system; and when she exerts her muscular system—Ha! here’s Susan again. Don’t squeeze yourself flat against the banisters, my dear; if you don’t mind hustling me on the stairs, I rather like hustling you. She looks like a full-blown rose when she blushes, doesn’t she? Stop, Susan! I’ve orders to give. Be very particular with Mr. Midwinter’s room: shake up his bed like mad, and dust his furniture till those nice round arms of yours ache again. Nonsense, my dear fellow! I’m not too familiar with them; I’m only keeping them up to their work. Now, then, Richard! where do we breakfast? Oh, here. Between ourselves, Midwinter, these splendid rooms of mine are a size too large for me; I don’t feel as if I should ever be on intimate terms with my own furniture. My views in life are of the snug and slovenly sort—a kitchen chair, you know, and a low ceiling. Man wants but little here below, and wants that little long. That’s not exactly the right quotation; but it expresses my meaning, and we’ll let alone correcting it till the next opportunity.”
“Aha, Mrs. Gripper, there you are with your pots and pans, and your blazing hot furnace! You really need to be Shadrach, Meshach, and the other guy to handle that. Breakfast whenever you’re ready. Eggs, sausages, bacon, kidneys, marmalade, watercress, coffee, and so on. My friend and I are among the lucky few who it’s a real pleasure to cook for. Indulgers, Mrs. Gripper, indulgent, both of us. You’ll see,” continued Allan, as they made their way toward the stairs, “I’ll make that wonderful person feel young again; I’m better than a doctor for Mrs. Gripper. When she laughs, she shakes her plump sides, and when she shakes her plump sides, she gets her muscles working; and when she gets her muscles working—Ha! here’s Susan again. Don’t press yourself flat against the banisters, my dear; if you don’t mind jostling me on the stairs, I actually enjoy jostling you. She looks like a full-blown rose when she blushes, doesn’t she? Stop, Susan! I’ve got instructions to give. Be very particular with Mr. Midwinter’s room: shake up his bed like crazy, and dust his furniture until those lovely round arms of yours ache again. Nonsense, my dear fellow! I’m not being too familiar with them; I’m just keeping them on their toes. Now, then, Richard! where are we having breakfast? Oh, here. Just between us, Midwinter, these fantastic rooms of mine are a size too big for me; I don’t feel like I’ll ever really get close with my own furniture. My preferences in life are cozy and casual—a kitchen chair, you know, and a low ceiling. A man wants just a little bit here below, and wants that little bit for a long time. That’s not exactly the right quote; but it gets my point across, and we’ll skip correcting it until the next chance.”
“I beg your pardon,” interposed Midwinter, “here is something waiting for you which you have not noticed yet.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Midwinter said, “but there’s something here for you that you haven’t noticed yet.”
As he spoke, he pointed a little impatiently to a letter lying on the breakfast-table. He could conceal the ominous discovery which he had made that morning, from Allan’s knowledge; but he could not conquer the latent distrust of circumstances which was now raised again in his superstitious nature—the instinctive suspicion of everything that happened, no matter how common or how trifling the event, on the first memorable day when the new life began in the new house.
As he talked, he pointed a bit impatiently to a letter on the breakfast table. He could keep the troubling discovery he made that morning from Allan, but he couldn't shake the underlying distrust of the situation that had resurfaced in his superstitious nature—the instinctive suspicion of anything that happened, no matter how ordinary or insignificant, on the first memorable day when their new life started in the new house.
Allan ran his eye over the letter, and tossed it across the table to his friend. “I can’t make head or tail of it,” he said, “can you?”
Allan glanced at the letter and threw it across the table to his friend. “I can’t make sense of it,” he said, “can you?”
Midwinter read the letter, slowly, aloud. “Sir—I trust you will pardon the liberty I take in sending these few lines to wait your arrival at Thorpe Ambrose. In the event of circumstances not disposing you to place your law business in the hands of Mr. Darch—” He suddenly stopped at that point, and considered a little.
Midwinter read the letter slowly and out loud. “Sir—I hope you don’t mind me taking the liberty of sending you this brief note while we wait for your arrival at Thorpe Ambrose. If for any reason you’re not inclined to trust your legal matters to Mr. Darch—” He suddenly paused at that point and thought for a moment.
“Darch is our friend the lawyer,” said Allan, supposing Midwinter had forgotten the name. “Don’t you remember our spinning the half-crown on the cabin table, when I got the two offers for the cottage? Heads, the major; tails, the lawyer. This is the lawyer.”
“Darch is our lawyer friend,” Allan said, thinking Midwinter might have forgotten the name. “Don’t you remember us flipping the half-crown on the cabin table when I got the two offers for the cottage? Heads for the major; tails for the lawyer. This is the lawyer.”
Without making any reply, Midwinter resumed reading the letter. “In the event of circumstances not disposing you to place your law business in the hands of Mr. Darch, I beg to say that I shall be happy to take charge of your interests, if you feel willing to honor me with your confidence. Inclosing a reference (should you desire it) to my agents in London, and again apologizing for this intrusion, I beg to remain, sir, respectfully yours, A. PEDGIFT, Sen.”
Without saying anything, Midwinter went back to reading the letter. “If for any reason you’re not inclined to give your legal business to Mr. Darch, I’d be happy to take care of your interests, if you’re willing to put your trust in me. I’m including a reference to my agents in London, should you want it, and I apologize again for this interruption. Yours respectfully, A. PEDGIFT, Sen.”
“Circumstances?” repeated Midwinter, as he laid the letter down. “What circumstances can possibly indispose you to give your law business to Mr. Darch?”
“Circumstances?” Midwinter repeated, setting the letter down. “What circumstances could possibly stop you from giving your law business to Mr. Darch?”
“Nothing can indispose me,” said Allan. “Besides being the family lawyer here, Darch was the first to write me word at Paris of my coming in for my fortune; and, if I have got any business to give, of course he ought to have it.”
“Nothing can throw me off,” said Allan. “Besides being the family lawyer here, Darch was the first to let me know in Paris that I was about to come into my fortune; and if I have any business to offer, he should definitely get it.”
Midwinter still looked distrustfully at the open letter on the table. “I am sadly afraid, Allan, there is something wrong already,” he said. “This man would never have ventured on the application he has made to you, unless he had some good reason for believing he would succeed. If you wish to put yourself right at starting, you will send to Mr. Darch this morning to tell him you are here, and you will take no notice for the present of Mr. Pedgift’s letter.”
Midwinter still watched the open letter on the table with suspicion. “I’m really worried, Allan, that something's already off,” he said. “This guy wouldn’t have gone ahead with his request unless he was confident he could pull it off. If you want to clear things up from the beginning, you should send a message to Mr. Darch this morning to let him know you’re here, and you’ll ignore Mr. Pedgift’s letter for now.”
Before more could be said on either side, the footman made his appearance with the breakfast tray. He was followed, after an interval, by the butler, a man of the essentially confidential kind, with a modulated voice, a courtly manner, and a bulbous nose. Anybody but Allan would have seen in his face that he had come into the room having a special communication to make to his master. Allan, who saw nothing under the surface, and whose head was running on the lawyer’s letter, stopped him bluntly with the point-blank question: “Who’s Mr. Pedgift?”
Before anything else could be said, the footman walked in with the breakfast tray. After a short wait, the butler followed, a discreet man with a calm voice, polite demeanor, and a prominent nose. Anyone but Allan would have noticed that the butler had a specific message for his master. But Allan, who never looked beyond the surface and was preoccupied with the lawyer’s letter, interrupted him with a direct question: “Who’s Mr. Pedgift?”
The butler’s sources of local knowledge opened confidentially on the instant. Mr. Pedgift was the second of the two lawyers in the town. Not so long established, not so wealthy, not so universally looked up to as old Mr. Darch. Not doing the business of the highest people in the county, and not mixing freely with the best society, like old Mr. Darch. A very sufficient man, in his way, nevertheless. Known as a perfectly competent and respectable practitioner all round the neighborhood. In short, professionally next best to Mr. Darch; and personally superior to him (if the expression might be permitted) in this respect—that Darch was a Crusty One, and Pedgift wasn’t.
The butler's local insights were shared openly at that moment. Mr. Pedgift was the second of the two lawyers in town. He wasn't as well-established, as wealthy, or as respected as the older Mr. Darch. He didn't handle the business of the most prominent people in the county and didn't socialize freely with the elite, unlike Mr. Darch. However, he was certainly competent in his own right. He was known throughout the neighborhood as a fully capable and respectable lawyer. In short, he was professionally the next best option to Mr. Darch, and personally superior to him (if that's an acceptable way to put it) in that Darch was a bit of a curmudgeon, while Pedgift was not.
Having imparted this information, the butler, taking a wise advantage of his position, glided, without a moment’s stoppage, from Mr. Pedgift’s character to the business that had brought him into the breakfast-room. The Midsummer Audit was near at hand; and the tenants were accustomed to have a week’s notice of the rent-day dinner. With this necessity pressing, and with no orders given as yet, and no steward in office at Thorpe Ambrose, it appeared desirable that some confidential person should bring the matter forward. The butler was that confidential person; and he now ventured accordingly to trouble his master on the subject.
After sharing this information, the butler, wisely using his position, smoothly transitioned from discussing Mr. Pedgift’s character to the matter that had brought him into the breakfast room. The Midsummer Audit was approaching, and the tenants were used to getting a week's notice for the rent-day dinner. With this important need coming up, no orders having been given yet, and no steward currently in office at Thorpe Ambrose, it seemed necessary for someone trustworthy to bring this up. The butler was that trusted person, and he now felt it was appropriate to address the subject with his master.
At this point Allan opened his lips to interrupt, and was himself interrupted before he could utter a word.
At this point, Allan opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted before he could say anything.
“Wait!” interposed Midwinter, seeing in Allan’s face that he was in danger of being publicly announced in the capacity of steward. “Wait!” he repeated, eagerly, “till I can speak to you first.”
“Wait!” Midwinter interrupted, noticing from Allan’s expression that he was at risk of being announced publicly as the steward. “Wait!” he repeated urgently, “until I can talk to you first.”
The butler’s courtly manner remained alike unruffled by Midwinter’s sudden interference and by his own dismissal from the scene. Nothing but the mounting color in his bulbous nose betrayed the sense of injury that animated him as he withdrew. Mr. Armadale’s chance of regaling his friend and himself that day with the best wine in the cellar trembled in the balance, as the butler took his way back to the basement story.
The butler's polite demeanor stayed completely calm despite Midwinter's unexpected interruption and his own removal from the situation. The only sign of his irritation was the growing flush in his bulbous nose as he stepped away. Mr. Armadale’s chance to treat his friend and himself to the finest wine in the cellar hung in the balance as the butler made his way back to the basement.
“This is beyond a joke, Allan,” said Midwinter, when they were alone. “Somebody must meet your tenants on the rent-day who is really fit to take the steward’s place. With the best will in the world to learn, it is impossible for me to master the business at a week’s notice. Don’t, pray don’t let your anxiety for my welfare put you in a false position with other people! I should never forgive myself if I was the unlucky cause—”
“This isn't funny, Allan,” Midwinter said when they were alone. “Someone needs to meet your tenants on rent day who is actually capable of taking on the steward's role. No matter how much I want to help, there's no way I can learn the business in just a week. Please, don’t let your worry for my well-being put you in an awkward situation with others! I could never forgive myself if I ended up being the unfortunate reason—”
“Gently gently!” cried Allan, amazed at his friend’s extraordinary earnestness. “If I write to London by to-night’s post for the man who came down here before, will that satisfy you?”
“Take it easy!” Allan exclaimed, surprised by his friend’s intense seriousness. “If I write to London by tonight’s mail for the guy who came down here before, will that make you happy?”
Midwinter shook his head. “Our time is short,” he said; “and the man may not be at liberty. Why not try in the neighborhood first? You were going to write to Mr. Darch. Send at once, and see if he can’t help us between this and post-time.”
Midwinter shook his head. “Our time is limited,” he said; “and the man might not be available. Why not check around the neighborhood first? You were going to write to Mr. Darch. Send it right away, and see if he can help us before the post goes out.”
Allan withdrew to a side-table on which writing materials were placed. “You shall breakfast in peace, you old fidget,” he replied, and addressed himself forthwith to Mr. Darch, with his usual Spartan brevity of epistolary expression. “Dear Sir—Here I am, bag and baggage. Will you kindly oblige me by being my lawyer? I ask this, because I want to consult you at once. Please look in in the course of the day, and stop to dinner if you possibly can. Yours truly. ALLAN ARMADALE.” Having read this composition aloud with unconcealed admiration of his own rapidity of literary execution, Allan addressed the letter to Mr. Darch, and rang the bell. “Here, Richard, take this at once, and wait for an answer. And, I say, if there’s any news stirring in the town, pick it up and bring it back with you. See how I manage my servants!” continued Allan, joining his friend at the breakfast-table. “See how I adapt myself to my new duties! I haven’t been down here one clear day yet, and I’m taking an interest in the neighborhood already.”
Allan moved to a side table where writing materials were set up. “You can have your breakfast in peace, you old fidget,” he said, then turned to Mr. Darch with his usual straightforward writing style. “Dear Sir—Here I am, all set. Could you please act as my lawyer? I need to consult you right away. Please stop by today, and stay for dinner if you can. Yours truly. ALLAN ARMADALE.” After reading this aloud, clearly impressed with his own quick writing skills, Allan addressed the letter to Mr. Darch and rang the bell. “Here, Richard, take this right away and wait for a response. And, by the way, if there’s any news happening in town, pick it up and bring it back with you. Look at how I handle my staff!” Allan said as he joined his friend at the breakfast table. “See how I’m settling into my new responsibilities! I haven’t even been here a full day yet, and I’m already interested in the neighborhood.”
Breakfast over, the two friends went out to idle away the morning under the shade of a tree in the park. Noon came, and Richard never appeared. One o’clock struck, and still there were no signs of an answer from Mr. Darch. Midwinter’s patience was not proof against the delay. He left Allan dozing on the grass, and went to the house to make inquiries. The town was described as little more than two miles distant; but the day of the week happened to be market day, and Richard was being detained no doubt by some of the many acquaintances whom he would be sure to meet with on that occasion.
After finishing breakfast, the two friends went out to relax in the park under a tree. Noon arrived, and Richard still hadn't shown up. One o'clock chimed, and there was still no reply from Mr. Darch. Midwinter’s patience was wearing thin due to the wait. He left Allan napping on the grass and headed to the house to ask what was going on. The town was described as being just over two miles away, but it was market day, and Richard was probably caught up with one of the many people he would run into on such an occasion.
Half an hour later the truant messenger returned, and was sent out to report himself to his master under the tree in the park.
Half an hour later, the absent messenger came back and was sent out to report to his boss under the tree in the park.
“Any answer from Mr. Darch?” asked Midwinter, seeing that Allan was too lazy to put the question for himself.
“Any reply from Mr. Darch?” asked Midwinter, noticing that Allan was too lazy to ask the question himself.
“Mr. Darch was engaged, sir. I was desired to say that he would send an answer.”
“Mr. Darch is busy, sir. I was told to let you know that he will send a response.”
“Any news in the town?” inquired Allan, drowsily, without troubling himself to open his eyes.
“Any news in town?” Allan asked sleepily, not bothering to open his eyes.
“No, sir; nothing in particular.”
“No, sir; nothing specific.”
Observing the man suspiciously as he made that reply, Midwinter detected in his face that he was not speaking the truth. He was plainly embarrassed, and plainly relieved when his master’s silence allowed him to withdraw. After a little consideration, Midwinter followed, and overtook the retreating servant on the drive before the house.
Observing the man suspiciously as he replied, Midwinter noticed on his face that he wasn't telling the truth. He was clearly embarrassed and visibly relieved when his master’s silence gave him a chance to leave. After a bit of thought, Midwinter followed and caught up with the retreating servant on the driveway in front of the house.
“Richard,” he said, quietly, “if I was to guess that there is some news in the town, and that you don’t like telling it to your master, should I be guessing the truth?”
“Richard,” he said softly, “if I were to guess that there is some news in town, and that you don’t want to share it with your master, would I be right?”
The man started and changed color. “I don’t know how you have found it out,” he said; “but I can’t deny you have guessed right.”
The man jumped and turned pale. “I don’t know how you figured it out,” he said, “but I can’t deny that you’re right.”
“If you let me hear what the news is, I will take the responsibility on myself of telling Mr. Armadale.”
“If you let me know what the news is, I'll take the responsibility of telling Mr. Armadale myself.”
After some little hesitation, and some distrustful consideration, on his side, of Midwinter’s face, Richard at last prevailed on himself to repeat what he had heard that day in the town.
After a bit of hesitation and some doubtful consideration of Midwinter’s expression, Richard finally managed to share what he had heard that day in town.
The news of Allan’s sudden appearance at Thorpe Ambrose had preceded the servant’s arrival at his destination by some hours. Wherever he went, he found his master the subject of public discussion. The opinion of Allan’s conduct among the leading townspeople, the resident gentry of the neighborhood, and the principal tenants on the estate was unanimously unfavorable. Only the day before, the committee for managing the public reception of the new squire had sketched the progress of the procession; had settled the serious question of the triumphal arches; and had appointed a competent person to solicit subscriptions for the flags, the flowers, the feasting, the fireworks, and the band. In less than a week more the money could have been collected, and the rector would have written to Mr. Armadale to fix the day. And now, by Allan’s own act, the public welcome waiting to honor him had been cast back contemptuously in the public teeth! Everybody took for granted (what was unfortunately true) that he had received private information of the contemplated proceedings. Everybody declared that he had purposely stolen into his own house like a thief in the night (so the phrase ran) to escape accepting the offered civilities of his neighbors. In brief, the sensitive self-importance of the little town was wounded to the quick, and of Allan’s once enviable position in the estimation of the neighborhood not a vestige remained.
The news of Allan’s sudden arrival at Thorpe Ambrose had spread ahead of the servant by several hours. Everywhere he went, he found that his master was a hot topic of conversation. The townspeople, local gentry, and key tenants all shared a negative view of Allan’s actions. Just the day before, the committee in charge of planning the public welcome for the new squire had mapped out the procession, addressed the important question of triumphal arches, and assigned someone skilled to gather donations for the flags, flowers, feast, fireworks, and music. In less than a week, they could have gathered the money, and the rector would have reached out to Mr. Armadale to set a date. Now, thanks to Allan’s own choices, the warm welcome meant to honor him had been disdainfully rejected. Everyone assumed (which was unfortunately true) that he had been privately informed about the planned events. People said he had sneaked into his own home like a thief in the night (as the saying goes) to avoid facing the good wishes of his neighbors. In short, the sensitive pride of the small town was deeply hurt, and Allan’s formerly respected position in the community had vanished without a trace.
For a moment, Midwinter faced the messenger of evil tidings in silent distress. That moment past, the sense of Allan’s critical position roused him, now the evil was known, to seek the remedy.
For a moment, Midwinter stood in silent distress facing the messenger of bad news. Once that moment passed, the reality of Allan’s critical situation motivated him to seek a solution, now that the trouble was clear.
“Has the little you have seen of your master, Richard, inclined you to like him?” he asked.
“Has the little you've seen of your boss, Richard, made you like him?” he asked.
This time the man answered without hesitation, “A pleasanter and kinder gentleman than Mr. Armadale no one could wish to serve.”
This time the man replied without hesitation, “No one could hope to serve a nicer and kinder man than Mr. Armadale.”
“If you think that,” pursued Midwinter, “you won’t object to give me some information which will help your master to set himself right with his neighbors. Come into the house.”
“If you believe that,” continued Midwinter, “then you won’t mind giving me some information that will help your master improve his reputation with his neighbors. Come inside.”
He led the way into the library, and, after asking the necessary questions, took down in writing a list of the names and addresses of the most influential persons living in the town and its neighborhood. This done, he rang the bell for the head footman, having previously sent Richard with a message to the stables directing an open carriage to be ready in an hour’s time.
He walked into the library and, after asking the right questions, wrote down a list of the names and addresses of the most influential people living in the town and nearby areas. Once that was done, he rang the bell for the head footman, having already sent Richard with a message to the stables to get an open carriage ready in an hour.
“When the late Mr. Blanchard went out to make calls in the neighborhood, it was your place to go with him, was it not?” he asked, when the upper servant appeared. “Very well. Be ready in an hour’s time, if you please, to go out with Mr. Armadale.” Having given that order, he left the house again on his way back to Allan, with the visiting list in his hand. He smiled a little sadly as he descended the steps. “Who would have imagined,” he thought, “that my foot-boy’s experience of the ways of gentlefolks would be worth looking back at one day for Allan’s sake?”
“When the late Mr. Blanchard went out to make calls in the neighborhood, it was your responsibility to go with him, right?” he asked when the upper servant appeared. “Alright. Please be ready in an hour to go out with Mr. Armadale.” After giving that order, he left the house again on his way back to Allan, holding the visiting list. He smiled a bit sadly as he went down the steps. “Who would have guessed,” he thought, “that my foot-boy’s experiences with the ways of wealthy people would be worth remembering one day for Allan’s sake?”
The object of the popular odium lay innocently slumbering on the grass, with his garden hat over his nose, his waistcoat unbuttoned, and his trousers wrinkled half way up his outstretched legs. Midwinter roused him without hesitation, and remorselessly repeated the servant’s news.
The target of public scorn was peacefully dozing on the grass, his garden hat pulled down over his face, his waistcoat unbuttoned, and his pants wrinkled halfway up his stretched-out legs. Midwinter woke him up without any doubt and relentlessly shared the servant's news again.
Allan accepted the disclosure thus forced on him without the slightest disturbance of temper. “Oh, hang ‘em!” was all he said. “Let’s have another cigar.” Midwinter took the cigar out of his hand, and, insisting on his treating the matter seriously, told him in plain words that he must set himself right with his offended neighbors by calling on them personally to make his apologies. Allan sat up on the grass in astonishment; his eyes opened wide in incredulous dismay. Did Midwinter positively meditate forcing him into a “chimney-pot hat,” a nicely brushed frock-coat, and a clean pair of gloves? Was it actually in contemplation to shut him up in a carriage, with his footman on the box and his card-case in his hand, and send him round from house to house, to tell a pack of fools that he begged their pardon for not letting them make a public show of him? If anything so outrageously absurd as this was really to be done, it could not be done that day, at any rate. He had promised to go back to the charming Milroy at the cottage and to take Midwinter with him. What earthly need had he of the good opinion of the resident gentry? The only friends he wanted were the friends he had got already. Let the whole neighborhood turn its back on him if it liked; back or face, the Squire of Thorpe Ambrose didn’t care two straws about it.
Allan accepted the information that was suddenly thrown at him without losing his cool. “Oh, forget them!” was all he said. “Let’s have another cigar.” Midwinter took the cigar from his hand and, insisting that he take the situation seriously, told him plainly that he needed to make things right with his offended neighbors by visiting them personally to apologize. Allan sat up on the grass in shock, his eyes wide in disbelief. Was Midwinter really thinking about putting him in a top hat, a nicely brushed suit, and clean gloves? Was it really in the plans to shove him into a carriage with his driver on the box and his card case in hand, sending him from house to house to tell a bunch of fools that he was sorry for not letting them show him off? If something so ridiculously absurd was actually going to happen, it couldn’t possibly happen that day. He had promised to go back to the lovely Milroy at the cottage and to bring Midwinter with him. What did he care about the opinions of the local elite? The only friends he wanted were the ones he already had. Let the whole neighborhood turn their backs on him if they wanted; whether they did or not, the Squire of Thorpe Ambrose didn’t care one bit.
After allowing him to run on in this way until his whole stock of objections was exhausted, Midwinter wisely tried his personal influence next. He took Allan affectionately by the hand. “I am going to ask a great favor,” he said. “If you won’t call on these people for your own sake, will you call on them to please me?”
After letting him go on like this until he had no objections left, Midwinter wisely decided to use his personal influence next. He took Allan's hand affectionately. “I’m going to ask you for a big favor,” he said. “If you won't visit these people for your own sake, will you do it to please me?”
Allan delivered himself of a groan of despair, stared in mute surprise at the anxious face of his friend, and good-humoredly gave way. As Midwinter took his arm, and led him back to the house, he looked round with rueful eyes at the cattle hard by, placidly whisking their tails in the pleasant shade. “Don’t mention it in the neighborhood,” he said; “I should like to change places with one of my own cows.”
Allan let out a groan of despair, stared in silent surprise at his friend's worried face, and cheerfully gave in. As Midwinter took his arm and guided him back to the house, he glanced back with a wistful look at the cows nearby, calmly swatting their tails in the nice shade. “Don't bring it up around here,” he said; “I'd love to trade places with one of my own cows.”
Midwinter left him to dress, engaging to return when the carriage was at the door. Allan’s toilet did not promise to be a speedy one. He began it by reading his own visiting cards; and he advanced it a second stage by looking into his wardrobe, and devoting the resident gentry to the infernal regions. Before he could discover any third means of delaying his own proceedings, the necessary pretext was unexpectedly supplied by Richard’s appearance with a note in his hand. The messenger had just called with Mr. Darch’s answer. Allan briskly shut up the wardrobe, and gave his whole attention to the lawyer’s letter. The lawyer’s letter rewarded him by the following lines:
Midwinter left him to get ready, planning to come back when the carriage was outside. Allan's preparation wasn't likely to be quick. He started by reading his own visiting cards, and then took a look in his wardrobe, mentally sending the local elites to the underworld. Before he could think of another way to delay himself, Richard unexpectedly showed up with a note in his hand. The messenger had just delivered Mr. Darch’s reply. Allan quickly closed the wardrobe and focused entirely on the lawyer’s letter. The letter offered him the following lines:
“SIR—I beg to acknowledge the receipt of your favor of to-day’s date, honoring me with two proposals; namely, ONE inviting me to act as your legal adviser, and ONE inviting me to pay you a visit at your house. In reference to the first proposal, I beg permission to decline it with thanks. With regard to the second proposal, I have to inform you that circumstances have come to my knowledge relating to the letting of the cottage at Thorpe Ambrose which render it impossible for me (in justice to myself) to accept your invitation. I have ascertained, sir, that my offer reached you at the same time as Major Milroy’s; and that, with both proposals thus before you, you gave the preference to a total stranger, who addressed you through a house agent, over a man who had faithfully served your relatives for two generations, and who had been the first person to inform you of the most important event in your life. After this specimen of your estimate of what is due to the claims of common courtesy and common justice, I cannot flatter myself that I possess any of the qualities which would fit me to take my place on the list of your friends.
“SIR—I acknowledge the receipt of your letter dated today, offering me two proposals; one inviting me to be your legal adviser, and the other inviting me to visit you at your house. Regarding the first proposal, I must respectfully decline it. As for the second proposal, I need to inform you that I have learned about some circumstances concerning the rental of the cottage at Thorpe Ambrose that make it impossible for me (in fairness to myself) to accept your invitation. I have discovered, sir, that my offer reached you at the same time as Major Milroy’s; and with both proposals presented to you, you chose a complete stranger who contacted you through a real estate agent over a person who has served your family loyally for two generations and was the first to inform you of the most significant event in your life. After witnessing this display of your regard for common courtesy and justice, I cannot delude myself into thinking that I possess any qualities that would qualify me to be on your list of friends.”
“I remain, sir, your obedient servant,
I remain, sir, your devoted servant,
“JAMES DARCH.”
"JAMES DARCH."
“Stop the messenger!” cried Allan, leaping to his feet, his ruddy face aflame with indignation. “Give me pen, ink, and paper! By the Lord Harry, they’re a nice set of people in these parts; the whole neighborhood is in a conspiracy to bully me!” He snatched up the pen in a fine frenzy of epistolary inspiration. “Sir—I despise you and your letter.—” At that point the pen made a blot, and the writer was seized with a momentary hesitation. “Too strong,” he thought; “I’ll give it to the lawyer in his own cool and cutting style.” He began again on a clean sheet of paper. “Sir—You remind me of an Irish bull. I mean that story in ‘Joe Miller’ where Pat remarked, in the hearing of a wag hard by, that ‘the reciprocity was all on one side.’ Your reciprocity is all on one side. You take the privilege of refusing to be my lawyer, and then you complain of my taking the privilege of refusing to be your landlord.” He paused fondly over those last words. “Neat!” he thought. “Argument and hard hitting both in one. I wonder where my knack of writing comes from?” He went on, and finished the letter in two more sentences. “As for your casting my invitation back in my teeth, I beg to inform you my teeth are none the worse for it. I am equally glad to have nothing to say to you, either in the capacity of a friend or a tenant.—ALLAN ARMADALE.” He nodded exultantly at his own composition, as he addressed it and sent it down to the messenger. “Darch’s hide must be a thick one,” he said, “if he doesn’t feel that!”
“Stop the messenger!” Allan shouted, jumping to his feet, his face flushed with anger. “Give me pen, ink, and paper! By God, these people are something else; the whole neighborhood is in a conspiracy to bully me!” He grabbed the pen in a burst of writing inspiration. “Sir—I dislike you and your letter.” At that moment, the pen made a blot, and he hesitated for a second. “Too harsh,” he thought; “I’ll give it to the lawyer in his own cool and cutting style.” He started again on a fresh sheet of paper. “Sir—You remind me of an Irish bull. I mean that story in ‘Joe Miller’ where Pat said, right in front of a witty guy nearby, that ‘the reciprocity was all on one side.’ Your reciprocity is all on one side. You take the privilege of refusing to be my lawyer, and then you complain when I refuse to be your landlord.” He paused, admiring those last words. “Nice!” he thought. “It’s both an argument and a solid punch. I wonder where my writing talent comes from?” He continued and wrapped up the letter in two more sentences. “As for your throwing my invitation back in my face, I’d like to inform you that my face is no worse for it. I’m just as happy to have nothing to say to you, either as a friend or a tenant.—ALLAN ARMADALE.” He nodded proudly at what he had written as he addressed it and sent it down to the messenger. “Darch must have a thick skin,” he said, “if he doesn’t feel that!”
The sound of the wheels outside suddenly recalled him to the business of the day. There was the carriage waiting to take him on his round of visits; and there was Midwinter at his post, pacing to and fro on the drive.
The sound of the wheels outside suddenly brought him back to the day's tasks. The carriage was waiting to take him on his rounds, and Midwinter was at his post, pacing back and forth on the driveway.
“Read that,” cried Allan, throwing out the lawyer’s letter; “I’ve written him back a smasher.”
“Read that,” shouted Allan, tossing out the lawyer’s letter; “I’ve written him back a killer response.”
He bustled away to the wardrobe to get his coat. There was a wonderful change in him; he felt little or no reluctance to pay the visits now. The pleasurable excitement of answering Mr. Darth had put him in a fine aggressive frame of mind for asserting himself in the neighborhood. “Whatever else they may say of me, they shan’t say I was afraid to face them.” Heated red-hot with that idea, he seized his hat and gloves, and hurrying out of the room, met Midwinter in the corridor with the lawyer’s letter in his hand.
He hurried over to the closet to grab his coat. He felt a wonderful transformation; he had little to no hesitation about making the visits now. The thrilling excitement of responding to Mr. Darth had put him in a bold mindset for standing up for himself in the neighborhood. “They can say whatever they want about me, but they won’t say I was scared to confront them.” Fired up by that thought, he grabbed his hat and gloves, and as he rushed out of the room, he ran into Midwinter in the hallway, holding the lawyer’s letter in his hand.
“Keep up your spirits!” cried Allan, seeing the anxiety in his friend’s face, and misinterpreting the motive of it immediately. “If Darch can’t be counted on to send us a helping hand into the steward’s office, Pedgift can.”
“Cheer up!” shouted Allan, noticing the worry on his friend's face and misunderstanding the reason for it right away. “If Darch can't be relied on to give us a hand getting into the steward’s office, Pedgift can.”
“My dear Allan, I was not thinking of that; I was thinking of Mr. Darch’s letter. I don’t defend this sour-tempered man; but I am afraid we must admit he has some cause for complaint. Pray don’t give him another chance of putting you in the wrong. Where is your answer to his letter?”
“My dear Allan, I wasn’t thinking about that; I was thinking about Mr. Darch’s letter. I’m not defending this cranky man, but I’m afraid we have to acknowledge that he has some reasons to be unhappy. Please don’t give him another opportunity to make you look bad. Where is your response to his letter?”
“Gone!” replied Allan. “I always strike while the iron’s hot—a word and a blow, and the blow first, that’s my way. Don’t, there’s a good fellow, don’t fidget about the steward’s books and the rent-day. Here! here’s a bunch of keys they gave me last night: one of them opens the room where the steward’s books are; go in and read them till I come back. I give you my sacred word of honor I’ll settle it all with Pedgift before you see me again.”
“Gone!” Allan replied. “I always act when the opportunity arises—a word and a strike, and the strike first, that’s how I do it. Please, don’t fuss over the steward’s accounts and rent day. Look! Here’s a set of keys they gave me last night: one of them unlocks the room with the steward’s accounts; go in and check them out until I get back. I promise you on my honor that I’ll sort everything out with Pedgift before you see me again.”
“One moment,” interposed Midwinter, stopping him resolutely on his way out to the carriage. “I say nothing against Mr. Pedgift’s fitness to possess your confidence, for I know nothing to justify me in distrusting him. But he has not introduced himself to your notice in a very delicate way; and he has not acknowledged (what is quite clear to my mind) that he knew of Mr. Darch’s unfriendly feeling toward you when he wrote. Wait a little before you go to this stranger; wait till we can talk it over together to-night.”
“Hold on a sec,” Midwinter said, stopping him firmly before he could leave for the carriage. “I’m not questioning Mr. Pedgift’s right to your trust because I have no reason to doubt him. But he didn’t introduce himself in a very tactful way, and he hasn’t admitted (which is obvious to me) that he was aware of Mr. Darch’s negative feelings towards you when he wrote. Just give it a bit more time before you meet this stranger; let’s discuss it together tonight.”
“Wait!” replied Allan. “Haven’t I told you that I always strike while the iron’s hot? Trust my eye for character, old boy, I’ll look Pedgift through and through, and act accordingly. Don’t keep me any longer, for Heaven’s sake. I’m in a fine humor for tackling the resident gentry; and if I don’t go at once, I’m afraid it may wear off.”
“Wait!” Allan replied. “Haven’t I told you that I always take action when the opportunity arises? Trust my judgment, my friend, I’ll assess Pedgift completely and act accordingly. Don’t hold me up any longer, for goodness’ sake. I’m in the perfect mood to deal with the locals; and if I don’t go now, I’m worried I might lose my enthusiasm.”
With that excellent reason for being in a hurry, Allan boisterously broke away. Before it was possible to stop him again, he had jumped into the carriage and had left the house.
With that great reason to rush, Allan enthusiastically broke away. Before anyone could stop him again, he jumped into the carriage and left the house.
IV. THE MARCH OF EVENTS.
Midwinter’s face darkened when the last trace of the carriage had disappeared from view. “I have done my best,” he said, as he turned back gloomily into the house “If Mr. Brock himself were here, Mr. Brock could do no more!”
Midwinter's expression soured when the last hint of the carriage vanished from sight. “I've done everything I could,” he said, turning back into the house with a heavy heart. “If Mr. Brock were here himself, he couldn't do any more!”
He looked at the bunch of keys which Allan had thrust into his hand, and a sudden longing to put himself to the test over the steward’s books took possession of his sensitive self-tormenting nature. Inquiring his way to the room in which the various movables of the steward’s office had been provisionally placed after the letting of the cottage, he sat down at the desk, and tried how his own unaided capacity would guide him through the business records of the Thorpe Ambrose estate. The result exposed his own ignorance unanswerably before his own eyes. The ledgers bewildered him; the leases, the plans, and even the correspondence itself, might have been written, for all he could understand of them, in an unknown tongue. His memory reverted bitterly as he left the room again to his two years’ solitary self-instruction in the Shrewsbury book-seller’s shop. “If I could only have worked at a business!” he thought. “If I could only have known that the company of poets and philosophers was company too high for a vagabond like me!”
He looked at the bunch of keys that Allan had shoved into his hand, and a sudden desire to challenge himself with the steward’s records took over his sensitive, self-tormenting nature. Asking for directions to the room where the various items from the steward’s office had been temporarily stored after the cottage was rented out, he sat down at the desk and tried to see how well he could navigate the business records of the Thorpe Ambrose estate on his own. The outcome laid bare his ignorance unmistakably before him. The ledgers confused him; the leases, the plans, and even the correspondence might as well have been written in a foreign language for all he could make of them. Bitterly, he recalled his two years of solitary self-study in the Shrewsbury bookstore as he left the room. “If only I could have worked in a real job!” he thought. “If only I had known that the company of poets and philosophers was too lofty for a wanderer like me!”
He sat down alone in the great hall; the silence of it fell heavier and heavier on his sinking spirits; the beauty of it exasperated him, like an insult from a purse-proud man. “Curse the place!” he said, snatching up his hat and stick. “I like the bleakest hillside I ever slept on better than I like this house!”
He sat down by himself in the big hall; the silence weighed down on his sinking spirits more and more. The beauty of it frustrated him, like an insult from a wealthy, arrogant person. “Damn this place!” he said, grabbing his hat and stick. “I’d prefer the most barren hillside I’ve ever slept on to this house!”
He impatiently descended the door-steps, and stopped on the drive, considering, by which direction he should leave the park for the country beyond. If he followed the road taken by the carriage, he might risk unsettling Allan by accidentally meeting him in the town. If he went out by the back gate, he knew his own nature well enough to doubt his ability to pass the room of the dream without entering it again. But one other way remained: the way which he had taken, and then abandoned again, in the morning. There was no fear of disturbing Allan and the major’s daughter now. Without further hesitation, Midwinter set forth through the gardens to explore the open country on that side of the estate.
He impatiently walked down the steps and paused on the driveway, thinking about which way he should leave the park for the countryside beyond. If he took the route the carriage used, he might accidentally run into Allan in town and upset him. If he went out the back gate, he knew himself well enough to doubt his ability to pass the dream room without going in again. But there was one other option left: the path he had taken and then abandoned that morning. There was no worry about disturbing Allan and the major’s daughter now. Without any more hesitation, Midwinter set off through the gardens to explore the open countryside on that side of the estate.
Thrown off its balance by the events of the day, his mind was full of that sourly savage resistance to the inevitable self-assertion of wealth, so amiably deplored by the prosperous and the rich; so bitterly familiar to the unfortunate and the poor. “The heather-bell costs nothing!” he thought, looking contemptuously at the masses of rare and beautiful flowers that surrounded him; “and the buttercups and daisies are as bright as the best of you!” He followed the artfully contrived ovals and squares of the Italian garden with a vagabond indifference to the symmetry of their construction and the ingenuity of their design. “How many pounds a foot did you cost?” he said, looking back with scornful eyes at the last path as he left it. “Wind away over high and low like the sheep-walk on the mountain side, if you can!”
Thrown off balance by the day's events, his mind was filled with a bitter resistance to the inevitable self-assertion of wealth, which the prosperous and rich amiably lamented; it was painfully familiar to the unfortunate and the poor. “The heather-bell costs nothing!” he thought, looking disdainfully at the clusters of rare and beautiful flowers around him; “and the buttercups and daisies shine just as brightly as the best of you!” He wandered through the carefully shaped ovals and squares of the Italian garden with a carefree disregard for the symmetry of their layout and the cleverness of their design. “How many pounds a foot did you cost?” he scoffed, glancing back at the last path as he left it. “Wander off high and low like the sheep-walk on the mountainside, if you can!”
He entered the shrubbery which Allan had entered before him; crossed the paddock and the rustic bridge beyond; and reached the major’s cottage. His ready mind seized the right conclusion at the first sight of it; and he stopped before the garden gate, to look at the trim little residence which would never have been empty, and would never have been let, but for Allan’s ill-advised resolution to force the steward’s situation on his friend.
He walked into the bushes that Allan had gone through earlier, crossed the field and the wooden bridge beyond, and arrived at the major’s cottage. His sharp mind quickly drew the right conclusion the moment he saw it, and he paused in front of the garden gate to take in the neat little house that would have always been occupied and would never have been rented out, if not for Allan’s poorly thought-out decision to impose the steward’s role on his friend.
The summer afternoon was warm; the summer air was faint and still. On the upper and the lower floor of the cottage the windows were all open. From one of them, on the upper story, the sound of voices was startlingly audible in the quiet of the park as Midwinter paused on the outer side of the garden inclosure. The voice of a woman, harsh, high, and angrily complaining—a voice with all the freshness and the melody gone, and with nothing but the hard power of it left—was the discordantly predominant sound. With it, from moment to moment, there mingled the deeper and quieter tones, soothing and compassionate, of the voice of a man. Although the distance was too great to allow Midwinter to distinguish the words that were spoken, he felt the impropriety of remaining within hearing of the voices, and at once stepped forward to continue his walk.
The summer afternoon was warm, and the air was calm and still. All the windows in the cottage, both upstairs and downstairs, were wide open. From one of the upper windows, voices broke the quiet of the park, startling Midwinter as he paused outside the garden enclosure. A woman's voice, sharp, high, and filled with angry complaints—a voice stripped of its freshness and melody, leaving only its harsh intensity—dominated the sounds. Along with it, the deeper, softer tones of a man's voice occasionally interjected, offering comfort and understanding. Although Midwinter was too far away to make out the actual words, he sensed it was inappropriate to linger within earshot of the voices, so he stepped forward to continue his walk.
At the same moment, the face of a young girl (easily recognizable as the face of Miss Milroy, from Allan’s description of her) appeared at the open window of the room. In spite of himself, Midwinter paused to look at her. The expression of the bright young face, which had smiled so prettily on Allan, was weary and disheartened. After looking out absently over the park, she suddenly turned her head back into the room, her attention having been apparently struck by something that had just been said in it. “Oh, mamma, mamma,” she exclaimed, indignantly, “how can you say such things!” The words were spoken close to the window; they reached Midwinter’s ears, and hurried him away before he heard more. But the self-disclosure of Major Milroy’s domestic position had not reached its end yet. As Midwinter turned the corner of the garden fence, a tradesman’s boy was handing a parcel in at the wicket gate to the woman servant. “Well,” said the boy, with the irrepressible impudence of his class, “how is the missus?” The woman lifted her hand to box his ears. “How is the missus?” she repeated, with an angry toss of her head, as the boy ran off. “If it would only please God to take the missus, it would be a blessing to everybody in the house.”
At that moment, the face of a young girl (easily recognizable as Miss Milroy, from Allan’s description) appeared at the open window of the room. Despite himself, Midwinter stopped to look at her. The expression on her bright young face, which had smiled so sweetly at Allan, looked tired and disheartened. After staring blankly out at the park, she suddenly turned back into the room, her attention clearly caught by something that had just been said. “Oh, Mom, Mom,” she exclaimed indignantly, “how can you say such things!” The words were spoken near the window; they reached Midwinter’s ears and hurried him away before he could hear more. But the revelation of Major Milroy’s family situation wasn’t over yet. As Midwinter turned the corner of the garden fence, a delivery boy was handing a package through the gate to the woman servant. “Well,” said the boy, with the unavoidable cheekiness of his age, “how's the missus?” The woman raised her hand to smack his ears. “How is the missus?” she echoed, with an angry toss of her head as the boy ran off. “If only God would take the missus, it would be a blessing to everyone in this house.”
No such ill-omened shadow as this had passed over the bright domestic picture of the inhabitants of the cottage, which Allan’s enthusiasm had painted for the contemplation of his friend. It was plain that the secret of the tenants had been kept from the landlord so far. Five minutes more of walking brought Midwinter to the park gates. “Am I fated to see nothing and hear nothing to-day, which can give me heart and hope for the future?” he thought, as he angrily swung back the lodge gate. “Even the people Allan has let the cottage to are people whose lives are imbittered by a household misery which it is my misfortune to have found out!”
No dark shadow like this had crossed the cheerful scene of the cottage's residents, which Allan’s excitement had painted for his friend to enjoy. It was clear that the tenants' secret had been hidden from the landlord until now. Five more minutes of walking brought Midwinter to the park gates. “Am I destined to see nothing and hear nothing today that can give me heart and hope for the future?” he thought, angrily swinging the lodge gate open. “Even the people Allan has rented the cottage to are dealing with a domestic misery that it’s *my* misfortune to have discovered!”
He took the first road that lay before him, and walked on, noticing little, immersed in his own thoughts.
He took the first path in front of him and kept walking, paying little attention, lost in his own thoughts.
More than an hour passed before the necessity of turning back entered his mind. As soon as the idea occurred to him, he consulted his watch, and determined to retrace his steps, so as to be at the house in good time to meet Allan on his return. Ten minutes of walking brought him back to a point at which three roads met, and one moment’s observation of the place satisfied him that he had entirely failed to notice at the time by which of the three roads he had advanced. No sign-post was to be seen; the country on either side was lonely and flat, intersected by broad drains and ditches. Cattle were grazing here and there, and a windmill rose in the distance above the pollard willows that fringed the low horizon. But not a house was to be seen, and not a human creature appeared on the visible perspective of any one of the three roads. Midwinter glanced back in the only direction left to look at—the direction of the road along which he had just been walking. There, to his relief, was the figure of a man, rapidly advancing toward him, of whom he could ask his way.
More than an hour went by before the thought of turning back crossed his mind. As soon as it occurred to him, he checked his watch and decided to retrace his steps so he’d be home in time to meet Allan on his return. After ten minutes of walking, he arrived at a junction where three roads met, and one quick look around confirmed that he had completely overlooked which of the three roads he had taken. There was no signpost in sight; the landscape on either side was empty and flat, crisscrossed by wide ditches and drains. Here and there, cattle were grazing, and a windmill stood in the distance above the pollard willows that lined the low horizon. But there wasn’t a house in sight, nor a single person on any of the three roads. Midwinter glanced back in the only direction left to look—the way he had just come. To his relief, he spotted a man quickly coming toward him, someone he could ask for directions.
The figure came on, clad from head to foot in dreary black—a moving blot on the brilliant white surface of the sun-brightened road. He was a lean, elderly, miserably respectable man. He wore a poor old black dress-coat, and a cheap brown wig, which made no pretense of being his own natural hair. Short black trousers clung like attached old servants round his wizen legs; and rusty black gaiters hid all they could of his knobbed, ungainly feet. Black crape added its mite to the decayed and dingy wretchedness of his old beaver hat; black mohair in the obsolete form of a stock drearily encircled his neck and rose as high as his haggard jaws. The one morsel of color he carried about him was a lawyer’s bag of blue serge, as lean and limp as himself. The one attractive feature in his clean-shaven, weary old face was a neat set of teeth—teeth (as honest as his wig) which said plainly to all inquiring eyes, “We pass our nights on his looking-glass, and our days in his mouth.”
The figure approached, dressed entirely in dull black—a moving stain against the bright white of the sunlit road. He was a thin, older man, looking pitifully respectable. He wore a shabby old black dress coat and a cheap brown wig that didn't pretend to be his real hair. Short black trousers clung tightly around his bony legs, and rusty black gaiters covered as much of his awkward, misshapen feet as they could. Black crepe added to the faded and miserable state of his old beaver hat; black mohair in the outdated style of a stock drearily wrapped around his neck, rising high to his haggard jaw. The only splash of color he carried was a blue serge lawyer's bag, as thin and limp as he was. The one appealing feature of his clean-shaven, tired old face was a neat set of teeth—teeth (as genuine as his wig) that clearly communicated to anyone who looked, “We spend our nights in his mirror, and our days in his mouth.”
All the little blood in the man’s body faintly reddened his fleshless cheeks as Midwinter advanced to meet him, and asked the way to Thorpe Ambrose. His weak, watery eyes looked hither and thither in a bewilderment painful to see. If he had met with a lion instead of a man, and if the few words addressed to him had been words expressing a threat instead of a question, he could hardly have looked more confused and alarmed than he looked now. For the first time in his life, Midwinter saw his own shy uneasiness in the presence of strangers reflected, with tenfold intensity of nervous suffering, in the face of another man—and that man old enough to be his father.
All the little blood in the man’s body faintly reddened his bony cheeks as Midwinter stepped forward to meet him and asked for directions to Thorpe Ambrose. His weak, watery eyes darted around in a bewilderment that was painful to witness. If he had encountered a lion instead of a man, and if the few words spoken to him had been threats instead of a question, he couldn’t have looked more confused and alarmed than he did now. For the first time in his life, Midwinter saw his own shy uneasiness in the presence of strangers reflected, with tenfold intensity of nervous suffering, in the face of another man—and that man was old enough to be his father.
“Which do you please to mean, sir—the town or the house? I beg your pardon for asking, but they both go by the same name in these parts.”
“Which one do you mean, sir—the town or the house? I apologize for asking, but they both have the same name around here.”
He spoke with a timid gentleness of tone, an ingratiatory smile, and an anxious courtesy of manner, all distressingly suggestive of his being accustomed to receive rough answers in exchange for his own politeness from the persons whom he habitually addressed.
He spoke with a shy, gentle tone, a friendly smile, and an anxious politeness, all distressingly hinting that he was used to getting harsh responses for his kindness from the people he usually talked to.
“I was not aware that both the house and the town went by the same name,” said Midwinter; “I meant the house.” He instinctively conquered his own shyness as he answered in those words, speaking with a cordiality of manner which was very rare with him in his intercourse with strangers.
“I didn’t realize that both the house and the town shared the same name,” said Midwinter; “I meant the house.” He instinctively overcame his own shyness as he replied, showing a warmth in his tone that was quite unusual for him when talking to strangers.
The man of miserable respectability seemed to feel the warm return of his own politeness gratefully; he brightened and took a little courage. His lean forefinger pointed eagerly to the right road. “That way, sir,” he said, “and when you come to two roads next, please take the left one of the two. I am sorry I have business the other way, I mean in the town. I should have been happy to go with you and show you. Fine summer weather, sir, for walking? You can’t miss your way if you keep to the left. Oh, don’t mention it! I’m afraid I have detained you, sir. I wish you a pleasant walk back, and—good-morning.”
The man, who seemed to have a bit of a sad respectability, looked grateful for the friendly return of his own politeness; he perked up and gathered some confidence. He eagerly pointed with his skinny forefinger in the right direction. “That way, sir,” he said, “and when you reach the next fork in the road, please take the left path. I’m sorry, but I have to go the other way, towards the town. I would have been happy to accompany you and show you the way. It’s lovely summer weather for a walk, isn’t it? You can’t go wrong if you stick to the left. Oh, no need to thank me! I hope I haven’t held you up, sir. Have a great walk back, and—good morning.”
By the time he had made an end of speaking (under an impression apparently that the more he talked the more polite he would be) he had lost his courage again. He darted away down his own road, as if Midwinter’s attempt to thank him involved a series of trials too terrible to confront. In two minutes more, his black retreating figure had lessened in the distance till it looked again, what it had once looked already, a moving blot on the brilliant white surface of the sun-brightened road.
By the time he finished speaking (thinking that the more he talked, the nicer he would be), he had lost his confidence again. He rushed down his own path, as if Midwinter’s attempt to thank him meant facing challenges that were too daunting to handle. In just two more minutes, his dark figure faded into the distance until it looked like what it had already looked like before—a moving stain on the bright white surface of the sunlit road.
The man ran strangely in Midwinter’s thoughts while he took his way back to the house. He was at a loss to account for it. It never occurred to him that he might have been insensibly reminded of himself, when he saw the plain traces of past misfortune and present nervous suffering in the poor wretch’s face. He blindly resented his own perverse interest in this chance foot passenger on the high-road, as he had resented all else that had happened to him since the beginning of the day. “Have I made another unlucky discovery?” he asked himself, impatiently. “Shall I see this man again, I wonder? Who can he be?”
The man found himself running oddly in Midwinter’s thoughts as he made his way back to the house. He couldn’t quite figure it out. It never crossed his mind that he might have unconsciously seen something of himself in the clear signs of past misfortune and current distress on the poor man’s face. He resentfully dismissed his own unusual curiosity about this random person on the road, just as he had pushed away all the other unpleasant things that had happened to him since the day started. “Have I stumbled upon another bad discovery?” he thought to himself, feeling impatient. “I wonder if I’ll see this man again? Who could he be?”
Time was to answer both those questions before many days more had passed over the inquirer’s head.
Time would answer both of those questions before many more days had gone by for the inquirer.
Allan had not returned when Midwinter reached the house. Nothing had happened but the arrival of a message of apology from the cottage. “Major Milroy’s compliments, and he was sorry that Mrs. Milroy’s illness would prevent his receiving Mr. Armadale that day.” It was plain that Mrs. Milroy’s occasional fits of suffering (or of ill temper) created no mere transitory disturbance of the tranquillity of the household. Drawing this natural inference, after what he had himself heard at the cottage nearly three hours since, Midwinter withdrew into the library to wait patiently among the books until his friend came back.
Allan hadn't come back by the time Midwinter got to the house. The only thing that had happened was an apology message from the cottage. “Major Milroy sends his regards and is sorry that Mrs. Milroy’s illness will keep him from seeing Mr. Armadale today.” It was clear that Mrs. Milroy’s occasional episodes of pain (or bad mood) were causing more than just a temporary disruption of the household's calm. Taking this natural conclusion into account, after what he had heard at the cottage nearly three hours earlier, Midwinter went into the library to wait patiently among the books until his friend returned.
It was past six o’clock when the well-known hearty voice was heard again in the hall. Allan burst into the library, in a state of irrepressible excitement, and pushed Midwinter back unceremoniously into the chair from which he was just rising, before he could utter a word.
It was after six o’clock when the familiar loud voice echoed in the hall. Allan rushed into the library, unable to contain his excitement, and abruptly pushed Midwinter back into the chair he was just getting out of, not giving him a chance to say anything.
“Here’s a riddle for you, old boy!” cried Allan. “Why am I like the resident manager of the Augean stable, before Hercules was called in to sweep the litter out? Because I have had my place to keep up, and I’ve gone and made an infernal mess of it! Why don’t you laugh? By George, he doesn’t see the point! Let’s try again. Why am I like the resident manager—”
“Here’s a riddle for you, my friend!” Allan exclaimed. “Why am I like the manager of the Augean stable before Hercules came in to clean it up? Because I’ve had my space to maintain, and I’ve made an absolute mess of it! Why aren’t you laughing? Seriously, he doesn’t get it! Let’s try again. Why am I like the manager—”
“For God’s sake, Allan, be serious for a moment!” interposed Midwinter. “You don’t know how anxious I am to hear if you have recovered the good opinion of your neighbors.”
“For God’s sake, Allan, be serious for a second!” interrupted Midwinter. “You have no idea how eager I am to hear if you’ve won back the respect of your neighbors.”
“That’s just what the riddle was intended to tell you!” rejoined Allan. “But if you will have it in so many words, my own impression is that you would have done better not to disturb me under that tree in the park. I’ve been calculating it to a nicety, and I beg to inform you that I have sunk exactly three degrees lower in the estimation of the resident gentry since I had the pleasure of seeing you last.”
“That's exactly what the riddle was meant to say!” Allan replied. “But if you want it put more plainly, I honestly think you would have been better off not interrupting me under that tree in the park. I've been calculating it precisely, and I must inform you that my standing among the local elite has dropped exactly three degrees since I last had the pleasure of seeing you.”
“You will have your joke out,” said Midwinter, bitterly. “Well, if I can’t laugh, I can wait.”
“You will get your joke out,” Midwinter said bitterly. “Well, if I can’t laugh, I can wait.”
“My dear fellow, I’m not joking; I really mean what I say. You shall hear what happened; you shall have a report in full of my first visit. It will do, I can promise you, as a sample for all the rest. Mind this, in the first place, I’ve gone wrong with the best possible intentions. When I started for these visits, I own I was angry with that old brute of a lawyer, and I certainly had a notion of carrying things with a high hand. But it wore off somehow on the road; and the first family I called on, I went in, as I tell you, with the best possible intentions. Oh, dear, dear! there was the same spick-and-span reception-room for me to wait in, with the neat conservatory beyond, which I saw again and again and again at every other house I went to afterward. There was the same choice selection of books for me to look at—a religious book, a book about the Duke of Wellington, a book about sporting, and a book about nothing in particular, beautifully illustrated with pictures. Down came papa with his nice white hair, and mamma with her nice lace cap; down came young mister with the pink face and straw-colored whiskers, and young miss with the plump cheeks and the large petticoats. Don’t suppose there was the least unfriendliness on my side; I always began with them in the same way—I insisted on shaking hands all round. That staggered them to begin with. When I came to the sore subject next—the subject of the public reception—I give you my word of honor I took the greatest possible pains with my apologies. It hadn’t the slightest effect; they let my apologies in at one ear and out at the other, and then waited to hear more. Some men would have been disheartened: I tried another way with them; I addressed myself to the master of the house, and put it pleasantly next. ‘The fact is,’ I said, ‘I wanted to escape the speechifying—my getting up, you know, and telling you to your face you’re the best of men, and I beg to propose your health; and your getting up and telling me to my face I’m the best of men, and you beg to thank me; and so on, man after man, praising each other and pestering each other all round the table.’ That’s how I put it, in an easy, light-handed, convincing sort of way. Do you think any of them took it in the same friendly spirit? Not one! It’s my belief they had got their speeches ready for the reception, with the flags and the flowers, and that they’re secretly angry with me for stopping their open mouths just as they were ready to begin. Anyway, whenever we came to the matter of the speechifying (whether they touched it first or I), down I fell in their estimation the first of those three steps I told you of just now. Don’t suppose I made no efforts to get up again! I made desperate efforts. I found they were all anxious to know what sort of life I had led before I came in for the Thorpe Ambrose property, and I did my best to satisfy them. And what came of that, do you think? Hang me, if I didn’t disappoint them for the second time! When they found out that I had actually never been to Eton or Harrow, or Oxford or Cambridge, they were quite dumb with astonishment. I fancy they thought me a sort of outlaw. At any rate, they all froze up again; and down I fell the second step in their estimation. Never mind! I wasn’t to be beaten; I had promised you to do my best, and I did it. I tried cheerful small-talk about the neighborhood next. The women said nothing in particular; the men, to my unutterable astonishment, all began to condole with me. I shouldn’t be able to find a pack of hounds, they said, within twenty miles of my house; and they thought it only right to prepare me for the disgracefully careless manner in which the Thorpe Ambrose covers had been preserved. I let them go on condoling with me, and then what do you think I did? I put my foot in it again. ‘Oh, don’t take that to heart!’ I said; ‘I don’t care two straws about hunting or shooting, either. When I meet with a bird in my walk, I can’t for the life of me feel eager to kill it; I rather like to see the bird flying about and enjoying itself.’ You should have seen their faces! They had thought me a sort of outlaw before; now they evidently thought me mad. Dead silence fell upon them all; and down I tumbled the third step in the general estimation. It was just the same at the next house, and the next and the next. The devil possessed us all, I think. It would come out, now in one way, and now in another, that I couldn’t make speeches—that I had been brought up without a university education—and that I could enjoy a ride on horseback without galloping after a wretched stinking fox or a poor distracted little hare. These three unlucky defects of mine are not excused, it seems, in a country gentleman (especially when he has dodged a public reception to begin with). I think I got on best, upon the whole, with the wives and daughters. The women and I always fell, sooner or later, on the subject of Mrs. Blanchard and her niece. We invariably agreed that they had done wisely in going to Florence; and the only reason we had to give for our opinion was that we thought their minds would be benefited after their sad bereavement, by the contemplation of the masterpieces of Italian art. Every one of the ladies—I solemnly declare it—at every house I went to, came sooner or later to Mrs. and Miss Blanchard’s bereavement and the masterpieces of Italian art. What we should have done without that bright idea to help us, I really don’t know. The one pleasant thing at any of the visits was when we all shook our heads together, and declared that the masterpieces would console them. As for the rest of it, there’s only one thing more to be said. What I might be in other places I don’t know: I’m the wrong man in the wrong place here. Let me muddle on for the future in my own way, with my own few friends; and ask me anything else in the world, as long as you don’t ask me to make any more calls on my neighbors.”
“My dear friend, I’m not kidding; I genuinely mean what I’m saying. You will hear what happened; you will get a complete report of my first visit. I can assure you it’ll serve as a sample for all the others. First of all, I've made mistakes despite my best intentions. When I set out for these visits, I admit I was angry with that old brute of a lawyer, and I definitely had the idea of asserting myself strongly. But that faded away somehow on the way; and for the first family I visited, I went in, as I mentioned, with the noblest intentions. Oh, dear! There was the same pristine waiting room for me to sit in, with the tidy conservatory beyond, which I would see again and again at every other house I visited afterward. There was the same selection of books for me to look at—a religious book, a book about the Duke of Wellington, a book about sports, and a book about nothing in particular, beautifully illustrated with pictures. Down came dad with his nice white hair, and mom with her nice lace cap; down came young mister with the pink face and straw-colored whiskers, and young miss with the chubby cheeks and the large petticoats. Don’t think there was any unfriendliness on my part; I always started with them in the same way—I insisted on shaking hands with everyone. That really surprised them at first. When I touched on the touchy subject next—the public reception—I promise I worked really hard on my apologies. It had no effect at all; they let my apologies go in one ear and out the other, then waited for more. Some men would have been discouraged: I tried a different approach; I directed myself to the head of the house and addressed him pleasantly next. ‘The fact is,’ I said, ‘I wanted to skip the speechifying—me getting up to tell you to your face you’re the best of men, and I’d like to propose a toast to you; and you getting up to tell me to my face I’m the best of men, and you’d like to thank me; and so on, man after man, praising each other and pestering each other all around the table.’ That’s how I said it, in an easy, light-hearted, convincing sort of way. Do you think any of them took it the same friendly way? Not a chance! I believe they had their speeches ready for the reception, with flags and flowers, and that they were secretly mad at me for shutting them up just as they were ready to begin. Anyway, whenever we got to the subject of the speeches (whether they brought it up first or I did), down I went in their estimation the first of those three steps I just told you about. Don’t think I didn’t make efforts to recover! I made desperate efforts. I found they were all eager to know what kind of life I had led before coming into the Thorpe Ambrose property, and I did my best to satisfy their curiosity. And what do you think came of that? Honestly, I disappointed them for the second time! When they found out I had never been to Eton or Harrow, or Oxford or Cambridge, they were utterly astonished. I think they saw me as a sort of outlaw. At any rate, they all shut down again; and I dropped down the second step in their estimation. Never mind! I wouldn’t be defeated; I promised you I’d do my best, and I did. I tried cheerful small-talk about the neighborhood next. The women didn’t say much; the men, to my utter astonishment, all began to express sympathy for me. They said I wouldn’t be able to find a pack of hounds within twenty miles of my house, and they thought it only right to prepare me for the disgracefully careless way the Thorpe Ambrose covers had been kept. I let them continue condoling with me, and then guess what I did? I made another mistake. ‘Oh, don’t take that to heart!’ I said; ‘I don’t care about hunting or shooting, either. When I see a bird on my walk, I can’t feel eager to kill it; I rather enjoy seeing the bird fly around and having a good time.’ You should have seen their faces! They thought I was a sort of outlaw before; now they clearly thought I was nuts. A dead silence fell over the room; and down I went the third step in their general estimation. It was the same at the next house, and the next, and the next. I think we were all in a devilish mood. It would come out, now in one way, now in another, that I couldn’t make speeches—that I hadn’t had a university education—and that I could enjoy a horseback ride without chasing after a wretched, stinky fox or a poor, frantic little hare. These three unfortunate flaws of mine don’t seem to be excused in a country gentleman (especially when they’ve dodged a public reception to begin with). I think I got along best, overall, with the wives and daughters. The women and I always ended up discussing Mrs. Blanchard and her niece sooner or later. We all agreed they had done well going to Florence; and the only reason we gave for our opinion was that we thought their minds would benefit after their sad loss, by taking in the masterpieces of Italian art. Every single lady—I solemnly declare it—at every house I visited eventually brought up Mrs. and Miss Blanchard’s loss and the masterpieces of Italian art. I honestly don’t know what we would have done without that brilliant topic to help us. The only pleasant part of the visits was when we all shook our heads together, declaring that the masterpieces would console them. As for the rest, there’s only one more thing to say. I don’t know what I might be somewhere else: I’m the wrong man in the wrong place here. Let me keep muddling along in my own way, with my own few friends; and ask me anything else in the world, just don’t ask me to make any more visits to my neighbors.”
With that characteristic request, Allan’s report of his exploring expedition among the resident gentry came to a close. For a moment Midwinter remained silent. He had allowed Allan to run on from first to last without uttering a word on his side. The disastrous result of the visits—coming after what had happened earlier in the day; and threatening Allan, as it did, with exclusion from all local sympathies at the very outset of his local career—had broken down Midwinter’s power of resisting the stealthily depressing influence of his own superstition. It was with an effort that he now looked up at Allan; it was with an effort that he roused himself to answer.
With that typical request, Allan’s report on his exploration among the local gentry came to an end. For a moment, Midwinter stayed quiet. He had let Allan speak freely from start to finish without saying anything. The unfortunate outcome of the visits—following what had happened earlier that day; and threatening Allan with a lack of local support right at the beginning of his local career—had weakened Midwinter’s ability to resist the quietly troubling influence of his own superstitions. It took effort for him to look up at Allan; it took effort for him to collect himself to respond.
“It shall be as you wish,” he said, quietly. “I am sorry for what has happened; but I am not the less obliged to you, Allan, for having done what I asked you.”
“It will be as you wish,” he said softly. “I’m sorry for what happened; but I’m still grateful to you, Allan, for doing what I asked.”
His head sank on his breast, and the fatalist resignation which had once already quieted him on board the wreck now quieted him again. “What must be, will be,” he thought once more. “What have I to do with the future, and what has he?”
His head dropped to his chest, and the accepting attitude that had once calmed him on the wreck now calmed him again. “What must be, will be,” he thought again. “What do I have to do with the future, and what does he?”
“Cheer up!” said Allan. “Your affairs are in a thriving condition, at any rate. I paid one pleasant visit in the town, which I haven’t told you of yet. I’ve seen Pedgift, and Pedgift’s son, who helps him in the office. They’re the two jolliest lawyers I ever met with in my life; and, what’s more, they can produce the very man you want to teach you the steward’s business.”
“Cheer up!” said Allan. “Your situation is looking good, at least. I made a nice visit in town that I haven't mentioned to you yet. I met with Pedgift and his son, who assists him in the office. They’re the two friendliest lawyers I’ve ever encountered in my life; and, what’s even better, they can introduce you to the exact person you need to teach you about the steward’s business.”
Midwinter looked up quickly. Distrust of Allan’s discovery was plainly written in his face already; but he said nothing.
Midwinter looked up quickly. You could easily see that he didn't trust Allan's discovery; it was clear on his face, but he didn't say anything.
“I thought of you,” Allan proceeded, “as soon as the two Pedgifts and I had had a glass of wine all round to drink to our friendly connection. The finest sherry I ever tasted in my life; I’ve ordered some of the same—but that’s not the question just now. In two words I told these worthy fellows your difficulty, and in two seconds old Pedgift understood all about it. ‘I have got the man in my office,’ he said, ‘and before the audit-day comes, I’ll place him with the greatest pleasure at your friend’s disposal.’”
“I thought about you,” Allan continued, “as soon as the two Pedgifts and I had a glass of wine together to celebrate our friendship. It was the best sherry I’ve ever had in my life; I’ve ordered some more of the same—but that’s not the point right now. I briefly explained your situation to these good guys, and in no time, old Pedgift got it all. ‘I have the guy in my office,’ he said, ‘and before audit day, I’ll happily make him available to your friend.’”
At this last announcement, Midwinter’s distrust found its expression in words. He questioned Allan unsparingly.
At this final announcement, Midwinter's distrust was evident in his words. He questioned Allan without holding back.
The man’s name, it appeared was Bashwood. He had been some time (how long, Allan could not remember) in Mr. Pedgift’s service. He had been previously steward to a Norfolk gentleman (name forgotten) in the westward district of the county. He had lost the steward’s place, through some domestic trouble, in connection with his son, the precise nature of which Allan was not able to specify. Pedgift vouched for him, and Pedgift would send him to Thorpe Ambrose two or three days before the rent-day dinner. He could not be spared, for office reasons, before that time. There was no need to fidget about it; Pedgift laughed at the idea of there being any difficulty with the tenants. Two or three day’s work over the steward’s books with a man to help Midwinter who practically understood that sort of thing would put him all right for the audit; and the other business would keep till afterward.
The man’s name was Bashwood. He had been working for Mr. Pedgift for some time (Allan couldn’t remember how long). Previously, he had been a steward for a Norfolk gentleman (whose name he forgot) in the western part of the county. He lost his steward position due to some personal issues involving his son, but Allan couldn't specify the details. Pedgift trusted him, and he would send Bashwood to Thorpe Ambrose two or three days before the rent dinner. He couldn't be spared before that time due to office reasons. There was no need to worry about it; Pedgift laughed off the idea that there would be any trouble with the tenants. A couple of days of work on the steward’s books with someone to assist Midwinter, who basically understood that kind of work, would have everything sorted out for the audit, and the other tasks could wait until afterward.
“Have you seen this Mr. Bashwood yourself, Allan?” asked Midwinter, still obstinately on his guard.
“Have you seen this Mr. Bashwood yourself, Allan?” asked Midwinter, still stubbornly on his guard.
“No,” replied Allan “he was out—out with the bag, as young Pedgift called it. They tell me he’s a decent elderly man. A little broken by his troubles, and a little apt to be nervous and confused in his manner with strangers; but thoroughly competent and thoroughly to be depended on—those are Pedgift’s own words.”
“No,” replied Allan, “he was out—out with the bag, as young Pedgift called it. They say he’s a decent older man. A bit worn down by his troubles and a little nervous and confused in his interactions with strangers, but completely capable and totally reliable—those are Pedgift’s own words.”
Midwinter paused and considered a little, with a new interest in the subject. The strange man whom he had just heard described, and the strange man of whom he had asked his way where the three roads met, were remarkably like each other. Was this another link in the fast-lengthening chain of events? Midwinter grew doubly determined to be careful, as the bare doubt that it might be so passed through his mind.
Midwinter paused and thought for a moment, now more curious about the topic. The unusual man he had just heard described, and the strange man he had asked for directions at the crossroads, looked remarkably similar. Was this another connection in the increasingly long chain of events? Midwinter became even more adamant about being cautious as the mere possibility that it could be true crossed his mind.
“When Mr. Bashwood comes,” he said, “will you let me see him, and speak to him, before anything definite is done?”
“When Mr. Bashwood arrives,” he said, “will you let me see him and talk to him before anything is finalized?”
“Of course I will!” rejoined Allan. He stopped and looked at his watch. “And I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you, old boy, in the meantime,” he added; “I’ll introduce you to the prettiest girl in Norfolk! There’s just time to run over to the cottage before dinner. Come along, and be introduced to Miss Milroy.”
“Of course I will!” Allan replied. He stopped and checked his watch. “And I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you, my friend, in the meantime,” he added; “I’ll introduce you to the prettiest girl in Norfolk! There’s just enough time to swing by the cottage before dinner. Come on, let’s go meet Miss Milroy.”
“You can’t introduce me to Miss Milroy to-day,” replied Midwinter; and he repeated the message of apology which had been brought from the major that afternoon. Allan was surprised and disappointed; but he was not to be foiled in his resolution to advance himself in the good graces of the inhabitants of the cottage. After a little consideration he hit on a means of turning the present adverse circumstances to good account. “I’ll show a proper anxiety for Mrs. Milroy’s recovery,” he said, gravely. “I’ll send her a basket of strawberries, with my best respects, to-morrow morning.”
“You can’t introduce me to Miss Milroy today,” Midwinter replied, and he repeated the message of apology that had been brought from the major that afternoon. Allan was surprised and disappointed, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from trying to win over the residents of the cottage. After thinking for a moment, he came up with a way to make the best of the current situation. “I’ll show genuine concern for Mrs. Milroy’s recovery,” he said seriously. “I’ll send her a basket of strawberries with my best wishes tomorrow morning.”
Nothing more happened to mark the end of that first day in the new house.
Nothing else happened to mark the end of that first day in the new house.
The one noticeable event of the next day was another disclosure of Mrs. Milroy’s infirmity of temper. Half an hour after Allan’s basket of strawberries had been delivered at the cottage, it was returned to him intact (by the hands of the invalid lady’s nurse), with a short and sharp message, shortly and sharply delivered. “Mrs. Milroy’s compliments and thanks. Strawberries invariably disagreed with her.” If this curiously petulant acknowledgment of an act of politeness was intended to irritate Allan, it failed entirely in accomplishing its object. Instead of being offended with the mother, he sympathized with the daughter. “Poor little thing,” was all he said, “she must have a hard life of it with such a mother as that!”
The only noteworthy event the next day was another display of Mrs. Milroy’s bad temper. About half an hour after Allan’s basket of strawberries was delivered to the cottage, it was sent back to him untouched (by the invalid lady’s nurse), along with a brief and curt message, quickly conveyed. “Mrs. Milroy’s compliments and thanks. Strawberries always upset her.” If this strangely irritable response to a polite gesture was meant to annoy Allan, it completely missed the mark. Instead of being upset with the mother, he felt sorry for the daughter. “Poor little thing,” was all he said, “she must have a tough time dealing with a mother like that!”
He called at the cottage himself later in the day, but Miss Milroy was not to be seen; she was engaged upstairs. The major received his visitor in his working apron—far more deeply immersed in his wonderful clock, and far less readily accessible to outer influences, than Allan had seen him at their first interview. His manner was as kind as before; but not a word more could be extracted from him on the subject of his wife than that Mrs. Milroy “had not improved since yesterday.”
He stopped by the cottage later in the day, but Miss Milroy was unavailable; she was occupied upstairs. The major greeted his visitor in his working apron—much more focused on his incredible clock and much less open to outside distractions than Allan had seen him during their first meeting. He was just as kind as before, but Allan couldn’t get any more information from him about his wife other than that Mrs. Milroy “had not improved since yesterday.”
The two next days passed quietly and uneventfully. Allan persisted in making his inquiries at the cottage; but all he saw of the major’s daughter was a glimpse of her on one occasion at a window on the bedroom floor. Nothing more was heard from Mr. Pedgift; and Mr. Bashwood’s appearance was still delayed. Midwinter declined to move in the matter until time enough had passed to allow of his first hearing from Mr. Brock, in answer to the letter which he had addressed to the rector on the night of his arrival at Thorpe Ambrose. He was unusually silent and quiet, and passed most of his hours in the library among the books. The time wore on wearily. The resident gentry acknowledged Allan’s visit by formally leaving their cards. Nobody came near the house afterward; the weather was monotonously fine. Allan grew a little restless and dissatisfied. He began to resent Mrs. Milroy’s illness; he began to think regretfully of his deserted yacht.
The next two days went by quietly and without incident. Allan kept asking questions at the cottage, but the only time he caught sight of the major's daughter was a brief glimpse of her at a window on the bedroom floor. There was still no word from Mr. Pedgift, and Mr. Bashwood had yet to show up. Midwinter decided to hold off on taking action until enough time had passed for him to hear back from Mr. Brock regarding the letter he had sent to the rector on the night he arrived at Thorpe Ambrose. He was unusually quiet and spent most of his time in the library surrounded by books. The time dragged on. The local gentry acknowledged Allan's visit by formally leaving their cards. After that, no one came by the house; the weather remained endlessly pleasant. Allan started feeling a bit restless and dissatisfied. He began to resent Mrs. Milroy’s illness and found himself regretting his abandoned yacht.
The next day—the twentieth—brought some news with it from the outer world. A message was delivered from Mr. Pedgift, announcing that his clerk, Mr. Bashwood, would personally present himself at Thorpe Ambrose on the following day; and a letter in answer to Midwinter was received from Mr. Brock.
The next day—the twentieth—brought some news from the outside world. A message was delivered from Mr. Pedgift, announcing that his clerk, Mr. Bashwood, would personally show up at Thorpe Ambrose the next day; and a letter in response to Midwinter was received from Mr. Brock.
The letter was dated the 18th, and the news which it contained raised not Allan’s spirits only, but Midwinter’s as well.
The letter was dated the 18th, and the news it contained boosted not just Allan's spirits but Midwinter's too.
On the day on which he wrote, Mr. Brock announced that he was about to journey to London; having been summoned thither on business connected with the interests of a sick relative, to whom he stood in the position of trustee. The business completed, he had good hope of finding one or other of his clerical friends in the metropolis who would be able and willing to do duty for him at the rectory; and, in that case, he trusted to travel on from London to Thorpe Ambrose in a week’s time or less. Under these circumstances, he would leave the majority of the subjects on which Midwinter had written to him to be discussed when they met. But as time might be of importance, in relation to the stewardship of the Thorpe Ambrose estate, he would say at once that he saw no reason why Midwinter should not apply his mind to learning the steward’s duties, and should not succeed in rendering himself invaluably serviceable in that way to the interests of his friend.
On the day he wrote, Mr. Brock announced that he was about to travel to London, having been called there for matters related to a sick relative, for whom he was a trustee. Once his business was completed, he hoped to find one of his clerical friends in the city who would be able and willing to cover for him at the rectory. If that worked out, he planned to travel from London to Thorpe Ambrose within a week or less. Given this situation, he would leave most of the topics Midwinter had written to him about for their meeting. However, since timing could be important regarding the management of the Thorpe Ambrose estate, he wanted to say right away that he saw no reason why Midwinter couldn't start learning the steward’s responsibilities and become incredibly useful to his friend in that way.
Leaving Midwinter reading and re-reading the rector’s cheering letter, as if he was bent on getting every sentence in it by heart, Allan went out rather earlier than usual, to make his daily inquiry at the cottage—or, in plainer words, to make a fourth attempt at improving his acquaintance with Miss Milroy. The day had begun encouragingly, and encouragingly it seemed destined to go on. When Allan turned the corner of the second shrubbery, and entered the little paddock where he and the major’s daughter had first met, there was Miss Milroy herself loitering to and fro on the grass, to all appearance on the watch for somebody.
Leaving Midwinter, Allan read and re-read the rector’s encouraging letter, as if he was determined to memorize every sentence. He went out a bit earlier than usual to make his daily visit to the cottage—or, to put it more simply, to attempt yet again to get to know Miss Milroy better. The day started off positively, and it seemed like it was going to continue that way. When Allan turned the corner of the second shrubbery and stepped into the small paddock where he and the major’s daughter had first met, he saw Miss Milroy herself strolling back and forth on the grass, apparently waiting for someone.
She gave a little start when Allan appeared, and came forward without hesitation to meet him. She was not in her best looks. Her rosy complexion had suffered under confinement to the house, and a marked expression of embarrassment clouded her pretty face.
She jumped a little when Allan showed up and walked over to greet him without hesitation. She wasn't looking her best. Her rosy skin had faded from being cooped up in the house, and a noticeable look of embarrassment covered her pretty face.
“I hardly know how to confess it, Mr. Armadale,” she said, speaking eagerly, before Allan could utter a word, “but I certainly ventured here this morning in the hope of meeting with you. I have been very much distressed; I have only just heard, by accident, of the manner in which mamma received the present of fruit you so kindly sent to her. Will you try to excuse her? She has been miserably ill for years, and she is not always quite herself. After your being so very, very kind to me (and to papa), I really could not help stealing out here in the hope of seeing you, and telling you how sorry I was. Pray forgive and forget, Mr. Armadale—pray do!” her voice faltered over the last words, and, in her eagerness to make her mother’s peace with him, she laid her hand on his arm.
“I hardly know how to say this, Mr. Armadale,” she said, speaking eagerly before Allan could say anything, “but I came here this morning hoping to see you. I’ve been really upset; I just found out by chance how my mom reacted to the fruit you kindly sent her. Will you please try to forgive her? She’s been very sick for years and isn’t always herself. After you were so incredibly kind to me (and to my dad), I just couldn’t help but come out here in the hope of seeing you and letting you know how sorry I am. Please forgive and forget, Mr. Armadale—please!” Her voice broke on the last words, and in her eagerness to make amends for her mother, she laid her hand on his arm.
Allan was himself a little confused. Her earnestness took him by surprise, and her evident conviction that he had been offended honestly distressed him. Not knowing what else to do, he followed his instincts, and possessed himself of her hand to begin with.
Allan felt a bit confused. Her seriousness caught him off guard, and her clear belief that he had been offended genuinely upset him. Unsure of what else to do, he went with his gut and took her hand to start.
“My dear Miss Milroy, if you say a word more you will distress me next,” he rejoined, unconsciously pressing her hand closer and closer, in the embarrassment of the moment. “I never was in the least offended; I made allowances—upon my honor I did—for poor Mrs. Milroy’s illness. Offended!” cried Allan, reverting energetically to the old complimentary strain. “I should like to have my basket of fruit sent back every day—if I could only be sure of its bringing you out into the paddock the first thing in the morning.”
“My dear Miss Milroy, if you say one more word, you’ll upset me next,” he replied, unconsciously squeezing her hand tighter in the awkwardness of the moment. “I was never the least bit offended; I truly made allowances—honestly, I did—for poor Mrs. Milroy’s illness. Offended!” Allan exclaimed, shifting back to the old flattering tone. “I’d happily have my basket of fruit returned every day—if only I could be sure it would bring you out to the paddock first thing in the morning.”
Some of Miss Milroy’s missing color began to appear again in her cheeks. “Oh, Mr. Armadale, there is really no end to your kindness,” she said; “you don’t know how you relieve me!” She paused; her spirits rallied with as happy a readiness of recovery as if they had been the spirits of a child; and her native brightness of temper sparkled again in her eyes, as she looked up, shyly smiling in Allan’s face. “Don’t you think,” she asked, demurely, “that it is almost time now to let go of my hand?”
Some of Miss Milroy’s lost color started to come back to her cheeks. “Oh, Mr. Armadale, your kindness really knows no bounds,” she said; “you have no idea how much you lift my spirits!” She paused; her mood improved with the same quickness of recovery as if it were the joy of a child; and her natural brightness sparkled again in her eyes as she looked up, shyly smiling at Allan. “Don’t you think,” she asked, playfully, “that it’s about time to let go of my hand?”
Their eyes met. Allan followed his instincts for the second time. Instead of releasing her hand, he lifted it to his lips and kissed it. All the missing tints of the rosier sort returned to Miss Milroy’s complexion on the instant. She snatched away her hand as if Allan had burned it.
Their eyes connected. Allan trusted his instincts again. Instead of letting go of her hand, he brought it to his lips and kissed it. Instantly, all the lost color returned to Miss Milroy’s cheeks. She quickly pulled her hand away as if Allan had scorched it.
“I’m sure that’s wrong, Mr. Armadale,” she said, and turned her head aside quickly, for she was smiling in spite of herself.
“I’m sure that’s wrong, Mr. Armadale,” she said, quickly turning her head away, because she was smiling despite herself.
“I meant it as an apology for—for holding your hand too long,” stammered Allan. “An apology can’t be wrong—can it?”
“I meant it as an apology for—for holding your hand too long,” stammered Allan. “An apology can’t be wrong—can it?”
There are occasions, though not many, when the female mind accurately appreciates an appeal to the force of pure reason. This was one of the occasions. An abstract proposition had been presented to Miss Milroy, and Miss Milroy was convinced. If it was meant as an apology, that, she admitted, made all the difference. “I only hope,” said the little coquet, looking at him slyly, “you’re not misleading me. Not that it matters much now,” she added, with a serious shake of her head. “If we have committed any improprieties, Mr. Armadale, we are not likely to have the opportunity of committing many more.”
There are times, though not often, when a woman’s mind really understands an appeal to pure logic. This was one of those times. An idea had been presented to Miss Milroy, and she was convinced. If it was meant as an apology, she admitted, that changed everything. “I just hope,” said the little flirt, glancing at him playfully, “that you’re not leading me on. Not that it matters much now,” she added, shaking her head seriously. “If we’ve done anything wrong, Mr. Armadale, we probably won’t have many more chances to do it again.”
“You’re not going away?” exclaimed Allan, in great alarm.
“You’re not leaving?” Allan exclaimed, clearly alarmed.
“Worse than that, Mr. Armadale. My new governess is coming.”
“Even worse, Mr. Armadale. My new governess is on her way.”
“Coming?” repeated Allan. “Coming already?”
"Coming?" Allan repeated. "Coming already?"
“As good as coming, I ought to have said—only I didn’t know you wished me to be so very particular. We got the answers to the advertisements this morning. Papa and I opened them and read them together half an hour ago; and we both picked out the same letter from all the rest. I picked it out, because it was so prettily expressed; and papa picked it out because the terms were so reasonable. He is going to send the letter up to grandmamma in London by to-day’s post, and, if she finds everything satisfactory on inquiry, the governess is to be engaged You don’t know how dreadfully nervous I am getting about it already; a strange governess is such an awful prospect. But it is not quite so bad as going to school; and I have great hopes of this new lady, because she writes such a nice letter! As I said to papa, it almost reconciles me to her horrid, unromantic name.”
“As good as coming, I should have said—only I didn’t know you wanted me to be so specific. We got the replies to the ads this morning. Dad and I opened them and read them together half an hour ago, and we both chose the same letter out of all the others. I chose it because it was so beautifully written; and Dad chose it because the terms were so reasonable. He’s going to send the letter up to Grandma in London with today’s mail, and if she finds everything satisfactory after checking, the governess will be hired. You don’t know how incredibly nervous I’m getting about it already; the thought of a strange governess is such a scary prospect. But it’s not as bad as going to school; and I have high hopes for this new lady, because she writes such a lovely letter! As I told Dad, it almost makes me okay with her awful, unromantic name.”
“What is her name?” asked Allan. “Brown? Grubb? Scraggs? Anything of that sort?”
“What’s her name?” Allan asked. “Brown? Grubb? Scraggs? Something like that?”
“Hush! hush! Nothing quite so horrible as that. Her name is Gwilt. Dreadfully unpoetical, isn’t it? Her reference must be a respectable person, though; for she lives in the same part of London as grandmamma. Stop, Mr. Armadale! we are going the wrong way. No; I can’t wait to look at those lovely flowers of yours this morning, and, many thanks, I can’t accept your arm. I have stayed here too long already. Papa is waiting for his breakfast; and I must run back every step of the way. Thank you for making those kind allowances for mamma; thank you again and again, and good-by!”
“Hush! hush! Nothing quite so terrible as that. Her name is Gwilt. Really unpoetic, isn’t it? She must be a respectable person, though, since she lives in the same part of London as grandma. Wait, Mr. Armadale! We’re going the wrong way. No; I can’t wait to look at those beautiful flowers of yours this morning, and, thanks, I can’t take your arm. I’ve already stayed here too long. Dad is waiting for his breakfast; and I have to hurry back every step of the way. Thank you for being so understanding about mom; thank you again and again, and goodbye!”
“Won’t you shake hands?” asked Allan.
“Will you shake hands?” asked Allan.
She gave him her hand. “No more apologies, if you please, Mr. Armadale,” she said, saucily. Once more their eyes met, and once more the plump, dimpled little hand found its way to Allan’s lips. “It isn’t an apology this time!” cried Allan, precipitately defending himself. “It’s—it’s a mark of respect.”
She held out her hand. “No more apologies, if you don’t mind, Mr. Armadale,” she said playfully. Their eyes locked again, and once more the chubby, dimpled little hand found its way to Allan’s lips. “This isn’t an apology this time!” Allan exclaimed, quickly defending himself. “It’s—it’s a sign of respect.”
She started back a few steps, and burst out laughing. “You won’t find me in our grounds again, Mr. Armadale,” she said, merrily, “till I have got Miss Gwilt to take care of me!” With that farewell, she gathered up her skirts, and ran back across the paddock at the top of her speed.
She took a few steps back and started laughing. “You won’t see me in our yard again, Mr. Armadale,” she said cheerfully, “until I have Miss Gwilt to look after me!” With that, she gathered her skirts and dashed back across the field as fast as she could.
Allan stood watching her in speechless admiration till she was out of sight. His second interview with Miss Milroy had produced an extraordinary effect on him. For the first time since he had become the master of Thorpe Ambrose, he was absorbed in serious consideration of what he owed to his new position in life. “The question is,” pondered Allan, “whether I hadn’t better set myself right with my neighbors by becoming a married man? I’ll take the day to consider; and if I keep in the same mind about it, I’ll consult Midwinter to-morrow morning.”
Allan stood there, watching her in silent admiration until she disappeared from view. His second meeting with Miss Milroy had a profound impact on him. For the first time since he became the master of Thorpe Ambrose, he was deeply reflecting on what he owed to his new role in life. “The question is,” Allan thought, “shouldn't I set things straight with my neighbors by getting married? I’ll take the day to think it over, and if I still feel the same way about it, I’ll talk to Midwinter tomorrow morning.”
When the morning came, and when Allan descended to the breakfast-room, resolute to consult his friend on the obligations that he owed to his neighbors in general, and to Miss Milroy in particular, no Midwinter was to be seen. On making inquiry, it appeared that he had been observed in the hall; that he had taken from the table a letter which the morning’s post had brought to him; and that he had gone back immediately to his own room. Allan at once ascended the stairs again, and knocked at his friend’s door.
When morning arrived and Allan came down to the breakfast room, determined to talk to his friend about his responsibilities to his neighbors in general and to Miss Milroy specifically, Midwinter was nowhere to be found. Upon asking around, he learned that Midwinter had been seen in the hall, had taken a letter from the table that the morning mail had delivered, and had gone straight back to his room. Allan immediately went back upstairs and knocked on his friend’s door.
“May I come in?” he asked.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
“Not just now,” was the answer.
“Not right now,” was the answer.
“You have got a letter, haven’t you?” persisted Allan. “Any bad news? Anything wrong?”
“You got a letter, didn’t you?” Allan pressed on. “Is there any bad news? Is something wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m not very well this morning. Don’t wait breakfast for me; I’ll come down as soon as I can.”
“Nothing. I’m not feeling great this morning. Don’t wait for breakfast; I’ll come down as soon as I can.”
No more was said on either side. Allan returned to the breakfast-room a little disappointed. He had set his heart on rushing headlong into his consultation with Midwinter, and here was the consultation indefinitely delayed. “What an odd fellow he is!” thought Allan. “What on earth can he be doing, locked in there by himself?”
No more was said on either side. Allan went back to the breakfast room a little disappointed. He was eager to dive right into his meeting with Midwinter, but now it was postponed indefinitely. “What a strange guy he is!” thought Allan. “What on earth can he be doing, locked in there by himself?”
He was doing nothing. He was sitting by the window, with the letter which had reached him that morning open in his hand. The handwriting was Mr. Brock’s, and the words written were these:
He was doing nothing. He was sitting by the window, holding the letter that had arrived that morning. The handwriting was Mr. Brock’s, and the words were:
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—I have literally only two minutes before post time to tell you that I have just met (in Kensington Gardens) with the woman whom we both only know, thus far, as the woman with the red Paisley shawl. I have traced her and her companion (a respectable-looking elderly lady) to their residence—after having distinctly heard Allan’s name mentioned between them. Depend on my not losing sight of the woman until I am satisfied that she means no mischief at Thorpe Ambrose; and expect to hear from me again as soon as I know how this strange discovery is to end.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—I literally have only two minutes before the post goes out to tell you that I just met (in Kensington Gardens) the woman we both only know so far as the woman with the red Paisley shawl. I’ve tracked her and her companion (a respectable-looking older lady) back to their home—after distinctly hearing Allan’s name mentioned between them. You can count on me not losing sight of the woman until I’m sure she means no harm at Thorpe Ambrose; and expect to hear from me again as soon as I know how this strange situation is going to unfold.”
“Very truly yours, DECIMUS BROCK.”
"Best regards, DECIMUS BROCK."
After reading the letter for the second time, Midwinter folded it up thoughtfully, and placed it in his pocket-book, side by side with the manuscript narrative of Allan’s dream.
After reading the letter for the second time, Midwinter folded it up thoughtfully and put it in his wallet, next to the manuscript of Allan’s dream.
“Your discovery will not end with you, Mr. Brock,” he said. “Do what you will with the woman, when the time comes the woman will be here.”
“Your discovery won’t stop with you, Mr. Brock,” he said. “Do what you want with the woman; when the time comes, she will be here.”
V. MOTHER OLDERSHAW ON HER GUARD.
1. From Mrs. Oldershaw (Diana Street, Pimlico) to Miss Gwilt (West Place, Old Brompton).
1. From Mrs. Oldershaw (Diana Street, Pimlico) to Miss Gwilt (West Place, Old Brompton).
“Ladies’ Toilet Repository, June 20th,
“Women’s Restroom, June 20th,”
“Eight in the Evening.
"8 PM."
“MY DEAR LYDIA—About three hours have passed, as well as I can remember, since I pushed you unceremoniously inside my house in West Place, and, merely telling you to wait till you saw me again, banged the door to between us, and left you alone in the hall. I know your sensitive nature, my dear, and I am afraid you have made up your mind by this time that never yet was a guest treated so abominably by her hostess as I have treated you.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—About three hours have gone by, as far as I can remember, since I roughly pushed you into my house in West Place, only telling you to wait until you saw me again, and then slammed the door between us, leaving you alone in the hall. I know your sensitive nature, my dear, and I’m worried you’ve concluded by now that no guest has ever been treated so poorly by her hostess as I have treated you.
“The delay that has prevented me from explaining my strange conduct is, believe me, a delay for which I am not to blame. One of the many delicate little difficulties which beset so essentially confidential a business as mine occurred here (as I have since discovered) while we were taking the air this afternoon in Kensington Gardens. I see no chance of being able to get back to you for some hours to come, and I have a word of very urgent caution for your private ear, which has been too long delayed already. So I must use the spare minutes as they come, and write.
“The delay that has kept me from explaining my strange behavior is, believe me, a delay that I'm not responsible for. One of the many delicate little issues that arise in such a confidential matter as mine happened here (as I have since learned) while we were enjoying the afternoon in Kensington Gardens. I don't see a chance to get back to you for several hours, and I have a very urgent piece of advice for you, which has already been delayed too long. So, I must take the spare moments as they come and write.”
“Here is caution the first. On no account venture outside the door again this evening, and be very careful, while the daylight lasts, not to show yourself at any of the front windows. I have reason to fear that a certain charming person now staying with me may possibly be watched. Don’t be alarmed, and don’t be impatient; you shall know why.
“Here’s the first warning. Under no circumstances go outside the door again this evening, and be very careful not to be seen at any of the front windows while it’s still light out. I have reason to believe that a certain charming person currently staying with me might be under surveillance. Don’t worry, and don’t get anxious; you’ll understand why soon.”
“I can only explain myself by going back to our unlucky meeting in the Gardens with that reverend gentleman who was so obliging as to follow us both back to my house.
“I can only explain myself by going back to our unfortunate meeting in the Gardens with that reverend gentleman who was nice enough to follow us both back to my house.
“It crossed my mind, just as we were close to the door, that there might be a motive for the parson’s anxiety to trace us home, far less creditable to his taste, and far more dangerous to both of us, than the motive you supposed him to have. In plainer words, Lydia, I rather doubted whether you had met with another admirer; and I strongly suspected that you had encountered another enemy instead. There was no time to tell you this. There was only time to see you safe into the house, and to make sure of the parson (in case my suspicions were right) by treating him as he had treated us; I mean, by following him in his turn.
“It occurred to me, just as we were nearing the door, that there might be a less honorable reason for the parson's eagerness to track us home, one that was more dangerous for both of us than the reason you thought he had. To put it simply, Lydia, I was beginning to doubt that you had found another admirer; I suspected that you had run into another enemy instead. There wasn't time to tell you this. There was only enough time to get you safely into the house and to keep an eye on the parson (in case my suspicions were correct) by doing to him what he had done to us; I mean, by following him in turn.
“I kept some little distance behind him at first, to turn the thing over in my mind, and to be satisfied that my doubts were not misleading me. We have no concealments from each other; and you shall know what my doubts were.
“I stayed a little back from him at first, trying to think it through and make sure my doubts weren't misleading me. We have no secrets between us; and you will understand what my doubts were.”
“I was not surprised at your recognizing him; he is not at all a common-looking old man; and you had seen him twice in Somersetshire—once when you asked your way of him to Mrs. Armadale’s house, and once when you saw him again on your way back to the railroad. But I was a little puzzled (considering that you had your veil down on both those occasions, and your veil down also when we were in the Gardens) at his recognizing you. I doubted his remembering your figure in a summer dress after he had only seen it in a winter dress; and though we were talking when he met us, and your voice is one among your many charms, I doubted his remembering your voice, either. And yet I felt persuaded that he knew you. ‘How?’ you will ask. My dear, as ill-luck would have it, we were speaking at the time of young Armadale. I firmly believe that the name was the first thing that struck him; and when he heard that, your voice certainly and your figure perhaps, came back to his memory. ‘And what if it did?’ you may say. Think again, Lydia, and tell me whether the parson of the place where Mrs. Armadale lived was not likely to be Mrs. Armadale’s friend? If he was her friend, the very first person to whom she would apply for advice after the manner in which you frightened her, and after what you most injudiciously said on the subject of appealing to her son, would be the clergyman of the parish—and the magistrate, too, as the landlord at the inn himself told you.
“I wasn’t surprised that you recognized him; he really doesn’t look like an average old man, and you had seen him twice in Somersetshire—once when you asked him for directions to Mrs. Armadale’s house, and again when you saw him on your way back to the train station. But I was a bit confused (considering you had your veil down both times, and also when we were in the Gardens) about how he recognized you. I doubted he would remember your figure in a summer dress after only seeing it in a winter dress; and although we were talking when he saw us, and your voice is one of your many charms, I wasn’t sure he’d remember your voice, either. And yet I felt convinced that he knew you. ‘How?’ you’ll ask. My dear, as bad luck would have it, we were talking about young Armadale at that moment. I truly believe that the name was the first thing that caught his attention; and when he heard that, your voice for sure and possibly your figure came back to his mind. ‘So what if it did?’ you might say. Think again, Lydia, and consider whether the parson of the place where Mrs. Armadale lived wasn’t likely to be her friend. If he was her friend, the very first person she would turn to for advice after you frightened her and after what you most foolishly said about appealing to her son would be the clergyman of the parish—and the magistrate, too, as the landlord at the inn himself told you.”
“You will now understand why I left you in that extremely uncivil manner, and I may go on to what happened next.
“You will now understand why I left you in that very rude way, and I can continue with what happened next."
“I followed the old gentleman till he turned into a quiet street, and then accosted him, with respect for the Church written (I flatter myself) in every line of my face.
“I followed the old man until he turned onto a quiet street, and then approached him, with respect for the Church evident (I hope) in every line of my face."
“‘Will you excuse me,’ I said, ‘if I venture to inquire, sir, whether you recognized the lady who was walking with me when you happened to pass us in the Gardens?’
“‘Will you excuse me,’ I said, ‘if I ask, sir, whether you recognized the lady who was walking with me when you happened to pass us in the Gardens?’”
“‘Will you excuse my asking, ma’am, why you put that question?’ was all the answer I got.
“‘Can you tell me why you asked that question, ma’am?’ was the only response I got.
“‘I will endeavor to tell you, sir,’ I said. ‘If my friend is not an absolute stranger to you, I should wish to request your attention to a very delicate subject, connected with a lady deceased, and with her son who survives her.’
“‘I’ll try to explain, sir,’ I said. ‘If my friend isn't a complete stranger to you, I’d like to ask for your attention to a very sensitive topic related to a deceased lady and her surviving son.’”
“He was staggered; I could see that. But he was sly enough at the same time to hold his tongue and wait till I said something more.
“He was shocked; I could see that. But he was clever enough to keep quiet and wait for me to say something else."
“‘If I am wrong, sir, in thinking that you recognized my friend,’ I went on, ‘I beg to apologize. But I could hardly suppose it possible that a gentleman in your profession would follow a lady home who was a total stranger to him.’
“‘If I’m mistaken, sir, in thinking that you recognized my friend,’ I continued, ‘I sincerely apologize. But I can hardly believe that someone in your profession would follow a lady home who he doesn’t know at all.’”
“There I had him. He colored up (fancy that, at his age!), and owned the truth, in defense of his own precious character.
“There I had him. He blushed (can you believe that, at his age!), and admitted the truth, to protect his precious reputation.
“‘I have met with the lady once before, and I acknowledge that I recognized her in the Gardens,’ he said. ‘You will excuse me if I decline entering into the question of whether I did or did not purposely follow her home. If you wish to be assured that your friend is not an absolute stranger to me, you now have that assurance; and if you have anything particular to say to me, I leave you to decide whether the time has come to say it.’
“‘I’ve met the lady once before, and I admit that I recognized her in the Gardens,’ he said. ‘Please excuse me for not discussing whether I intentionally followed her home. If you want to be sure that your friend isn’t a complete stranger to me, you have that reassurance now; and if you have something specific to say to me, I’ll let you decide if it’s the right time to say it.’”
“He waited, and looked about. I waited, and looked about. He said the street was hardly a fit place to speak of a delicate subject in. I said the street was hardly a fit place to speak of a delicate subject in. He didn’t offer to take me to where he lived. I didn’t offer to take him to where I lived. Have you ever seen two strange cats, my dear, nose to nose on the tiles? If you have, you have seen the parson and me done to the life.
“He waited and looked around. I waited and looked around. He said the street wasn’t really a good place to talk about something sensitive. I said the street wasn’t really a good place to talk about something sensitive. He didn’t suggest taking me to his place. I didn’t suggest taking him to my place. Have you ever seen two strange cats, my dear, nose to nose on the tiles? If you have, you’ve seen the parson and me exactly like that.”
“‘Well, ma’am,’ he said, at last, ‘shall we go on with our conversation in spite of circumstances?’
“‘Well, ma’am,’ he finally said, ‘should we continue our conversation despite the situation?’”
“‘Yes, sir,’ I said; ‘we are both of us, fortunately, of an age to set circumstances at defiance’ (I had seen the old wretch looking at my gray hair, and satisfying himself that his character was safe if he was seen with me).
“‘Yes, sir,’ I said; ‘both of us are lucky to be at an age where we can ignore circumstances’ (I had noticed the old creep looking at my gray hair, convinced that his reputation was safe if he was seen with me).”
“After all this snapping and snarling, we came to the point at last. I began by telling him that I feared his interest in you was not of the friendly sort. He admitted that much—of course, in defense of his own character once more. I next repeated to him everything you had told me about your proceedings in Somersetshire, when we first found that he was following us home. Don’t be alarmed my dear—I was acting on principle. If you want to make a dish of lies digestible, always give it a garnish of truth. Well, having appealed to the reverend gentleman’s confidence in this matter, I next declared that you had become an altered woman since he had seen you last. I revived that dead wretch, your husband (without mentioning names, of course), established him (the first place I thought of) in business at the Brazils, and described a letter which he had written, offering to forgive his erring wife, if she would repent and go back to him. I assured the parson that your husband’s noble conduct had softened your obdurate nature; and then, thinking I had produced the right impression, I came boldly to close quarters with him. I said, ‘At the very time when you met us, sir, my unhappy friend was speaking in terms of touching, self-reproach of her conduct to the late Mrs. Armadale. She confided to me her anxiety to make some atonement, if possible, to Mrs. Armadale’s son; and it is at her entreaty (for she cannot prevail on herself to face you) that I now beg to inquire whether Mr. Armadale is still in Somersetshire, and whether he would consent to take back in small installments the sum of money which my friend acknowledges that she received by practicing on Mrs. Armadale’s fears.’ Those were my very words. A neater story (accounting so nicely for everything) was never told; it was a story to melt a stone. But this Somersetshire parson is harder than stone itself. I blush for him, my dear, when I assure you that he was evidently insensible enough to disbelieve every word I said about your reformed character, your husband in the Brazils, and your penitent anxiety to pay the money back. It is really a disgrace that such a man should be in the Church; such cunning as his is in the last degree unbecoming in a member of a sacred profession.
“After all this arguing and complaining, we finally got to the point. I started by telling him that I was worried his interest in you wasn't friendly. He admitted that much—of course, in an attempt to defend his own character again. Then I repeated everything you told me about what happened in Somersetshire when we first noticed he was following us home. Don’t worry, my dear—I was acting on principle. If you want to make a lie more believable, always add a bit of truth. So, after gaining the reverend gentleman's trust on this matter, I declared that you had changed since he last saw you. I brought up your late husband (without naming him, of course), placed him (the first thing that came to mind) in business in Brazil, and described a letter he wrote offering to forgive his wandering wife if she would repent and return to him. I assured the parson that your husband’s noble actions had softened your stubborn nature; and thinking I had made the right impression, I confronted him directly. I said, ‘At the very time you met us, sir, my unfortunate friend was speaking with deep regret about her treatment of the late Mrs. Armadale. She confided in me her desire to make some amends, if possible, to Mrs. Armadale’s son; and at her request (since she can’t bring herself to face you), I now ask whether Mr. Armadale is still in Somersetshire and if he would agree to gradually take back the money my friend acknowledges she received by playing on Mrs. Armadale’s fears.’ Those were my exact words. A more perfectly crafted story, explaining everything so well, has never been told; it was a story that could soften a stone. But this Somersetshire parson is harder than stone itself. I feel embarrassed for him, my dear, when I tell you that he was clearly insensitive enough to disbelieve every word I said about your changed character, your husband in Brazil, and your sincere desire to repay the money. It’s truly disgraceful that such a man is in the Church; such deceit is utterly unbecoming for someone in a sacred profession.”
“‘Does your friend propose to join her husband by the next steamer?’ was all he condescended to say, when I had done.
“‘Is your friend planning to join her husband on the next steamer?’ was all he bothered to say when I finished.”
“I acknowledge I was angry. I snapped at him. I said, ‘Yes, she does.’
“I admit I was angry. I snapped at him. I said, ‘Yeah, she does.’”
“‘How am I to communicate with her?’ he asked.
“‘How am I supposed to talk to her?’ he asked.
“I snapped at him again. ‘By letter—through me.’
“I snapped at him again. ‘By letter—through me.’”
“‘At what address, ma’am?’
“‘What’s the address, ma’am?’”
“There, I had him once more. ‘You have found my address out for yourself, sir,’ I said. ‘The directory will tell you my name, if you wish to find that out for yourself also; otherwise, you are welcome to my card.’
“There, I had him once again. ‘You’ve figured out my address on your own, sir,’ I said. ‘The directory can tell you my name if you want to find that out too; otherwise, you’re welcome to my card.’”
“‘Many thanks, ma’am. If your friend wishes to communicate with Mr. Armadale, I will give you my card in return.’
“‘Thank you so much, ma’am. If your friend wants to get in touch with Mr. Armadale, I'll give you my card in exchange.’”
“‘Thank you, sir.’
"Thanks, sir."
“‘Thank you, ma’am.’
“Thanks, ma'am.”
“‘Good-afternoon, sir.’
“‘Good afternoon, sir.’”
“‘Good-afternoon, ma’am.’
“‘Good afternoon, ma’am.’”
“So we parted. I went my way to an appointment at my place of business, and he went his in a hurry; which is of itself suspicious. What I can’t get over is his heartlessness. Heaven help the people who send for him to comfort them on their death-beds!
“So we went our separate ways. I headed to an appointment at work, and he rushed off in his own direction, which is suspicious in itself. What I can't understand is his lack of compassion. God help those who call for him to find comfort on their deathbeds!”
“The next consideration is, What are we to do? If we don’t find out the right way to keep this old wretch in the dark, he may be the ruin of us at Thorpe Ambrose just as we are within easy reach of our end in view. Wait up till I come to you, with my mind free, I hope, from the other difficulty which is worrying me here. Was there ever such ill luck as ours? Only think of that man deserting his congregation, and coming to London just at the very time when we have answered Major Milroy’s advertisement, and may expect the inquiries to be made next week! I have no patience with him; his bishop ought to interfere.
“The next thing to consider is, what should we do? If we don’t figure out the right way to keep this old rascal in the dark, he could ruin us at Thorpe Ambrose just as we are finally close to achieving our goal. Just wait until I come to you, with my mind hopefully clear of the other issue that’s bothering me here. Is there ever been such bad luck as ours? Just think about that guy abandoning his congregation and coming to London just when we’ve responded to Major Milroy’s ad and are expecting inquiries next week! I have no patience for him; his bishop should step in.”
“Affectionately yours,
"With love,"
“MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
“Maria Oldershaw.”
2. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
2. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
“West Place, June 20th.
“West Place, June 20.”
“MY POOR OLD DEAR—How very little you know of my sensitive nature, as you call it! Instead of feeling offended when you left me, I went to your piano, and forgot all about you till your messenger came. Your letter is irresistible; I have been laughing over it till I am quite out of breath. Of all the absurd stories I ever read, the story you addressed to the Somersetshire clergyman is the most ridiculous. And as for your interview with him in the street, it is a perfect sin to keep it to ourselves. The public ought really to enjoy it in the form of a farce at one of the theaters.
“MY POOR OLD DEAR—You really don’t understand my sensitive side, do you? Instead of feeling hurt when you left, I went to your piano and totally forgot about you until your messenger showed up. Your letter is too good to resist; I’ve been laughing at it so much that I’m almost out of breath. Of all the ridiculous stories I’ve ever read, the one you sent to the Somersetshire clergyman is the craziest. And your encounter with him in the street? It’d be a crime to keep that to ourselves. The public would definitely enjoy it as a farce at one of the theaters.”
“Luckily for both of us (to come to serious matters), your messenger is a prudent person. He sent upstairs to know if there was an answer. In the midst of my merriment I had presence of mind enough to send downstairs and say ‘Yes.’
“Fortunately for both of us (to get to the important stuff), your messenger is a sensible person. He checked upstairs to see if there was a reply. In the middle of my laughter, I had the sense to send downstairs and say ‘Yes.’”
“Some brute of a man says, in some book which I once read, that no woman can keep two separate trains of ideas in her mind at the same time. I declare you have almost satisfied me that the man is right. What! when you have escaped unnoticed to your place of business, and when you suspect this house to be watched, you propose to come back here, and to put it in the parson’s power to recover the lost trace of you! What madness! Stop where you are; and when you have got over your difficulty at Pimlico (it is some woman’s business, of course; what worries women are!), be so good as to read what I have got to say about our difficulty at Brompton.
“Some guy in a book I once read claims that no woman can think about two separate things at once. I have to admit, you’ve almost convinced me that he might be right. What? After you’ve slipped away unnoticed to your job, and when you think this house is being watched, you want to come back here and give the parson a chance to find out where you went! What kind of madness is that? Stop right there; and once you’ve sorted out your mess in Pimlico (it’s definitely some woman’s issue, as usual), please read what I have to say about our problem in Brompton.”
“In the first place, the house (as you supposed) is watched.
“In the first place, the house (as you thought) is being watched.
“Half an hour after you left me, loud voices in the street interrupted me at the piano, and I went to the window. There was a cab at the house opposite, where they let lodgings; and an old man, who looked like a respectable servant, was wrangling with the driver about his fare. An elderly gentleman came out of the house, and stopped them. An elderly gentleman returned into the house, and appeared cautiously at the front drawing-room window. You know him, you worthy creature; he had the bad taste, some few hours since, to doubt whether you were telling him the truth. Don’t be afraid, he didn’t see me. When he looked up, after settling with the cab driver, I was behind the curtain. I have been behind the curtain once or twice since; and I have seen enough to satisfy me that he and his servant will relieve each other at the window, so as never to lose sight of your house here, night or day. That the parson suspects the real truth is of course impossible. But that he firmly believes I mean some mischief to young Armadale, and that you have entirely confirmed him in that conviction, is as plain as that two and two make four. And this has happened (as you helplessly remind me) just when we have answered the advertisement, and when we may expect the major’s inquiries to be made in a few days’ time.
“Half an hour after you left me, loud voices outside interrupted me at the piano, so I went to the window. There was a cab outside the house across the street, where they rent rooms; and an old man, who seemed like a respectable servant, was arguing with the driver about the fare. An older gentleman came out of the house and stopped them. Then the elderly gentleman went back inside but appeared cautiously at the front drawing-room window. You know him, you good person; he had the bad taste, just a few hours ago, to doubt whether you were being honest with him. Don’t worry, he didn’t see me. When he looked up after settling things with the cab driver, I was behind the curtain. I’ve been behind the curtain a couple more times since; and I've seen enough to be sure that he and his servant will take turns at the window so they never lose sight of your place here, day or night. It’s impossible for the parson to suspect the real truth. But it’s clear that he fully believes I mean to cause some trouble for young Armadale, and that you have completely reinforced that belief, which is as obvious as two plus two equals four. And this has happened (as you helplessly remind me) just when we’ve responded to the advertisement, and when we can expect inquiries from the major in just a few days."
“Surely, here is a terrible situation for two women to find themselves in? A fiddlestick’s end for the situation! We have got an easy way out of it—thanks, Mother Oldershaw, to what I myself forced you to do, not three hours before the Somersetshire clergyman met with us.
“Surely, this is a terrible situation for two women to be in? This is ridiculous! We’ve got a simple way out of this—thanks, Mother Oldershaw, to what I made you do just three hours before the Somersetshire clergyman met us.
“Has that venomous little quarrel of ours this morning—after we had pounced on the major’s advertisement in the newspaper—quite slipped out of your memory? Have you forgotten how I persisted in my opinion that you were a great deal too well known in London to appear safely as my reference in your own name, or to receive an inquiring lady or gentleman (as you were rash enough to propose) in your own house? Don’t you remember what a passion you were in when I brought our dispute to an end by declining to stir a step in the matter, unless I could conclude my application to Major Milroy by referring him to an address at which you were totally unknown, and to a name which might be anything you pleased, as long as it was not yours? What a look you gave me when you found there was nothing for it but to drop the whole speculation or to let me have my own way! How you fumed over the lodging hunting on the other side of the Park! and how you groaned when you came back, possessed of furnished apartments in respectable Bayswater, over the useless expense I had put you to!
“Do you really not remember our nasty little argument this morning—right after we spotted the major’s ad in the newspaper? Have you forgotten how I kept insisting that you were way too well-known in London to safely be my reference in your own name, or to host an interested lady or gentleman (like you foolishly suggested) at your own place? Don’t you recall how upset you were when I put an end to our fight by saying I wouldn’t move forward unless I could wrap up my application to Major Milroy by referring him to an address where you were completely unknown, and to a name you could choose, as long as it wasn’t yours? The look on your face when you realized you had no choice but to either drop the whole idea or let me have my way! How you grumbled about searching for a place on the other side of the Park! And how you complained when you returned, having found furnished apartments in decent Bayswater, about the pointless expense I put you through!”
“What do you think of those furnished apartments now, you obstinate old woman? Here we are, with discovery threatening us at our very door, and with no hope of escape unless we can contrive to disappear from the parson in the dark. And there are the lodgings in Bayswater, to which no inquisitive strangers have traced either you or me, ready and waiting to swallow us up—the lodgings in which we can escape all further molestation, and answer the major’s inquiries at our ease. Can you see, at last, a little further than your poor old nose? Is there anything in the world to prevent your safe disappearance from Pimlico to-night, and your safe establishment at the new lodgings, in the character of my respectable reference, half an hour afterward? Oh, fie, fie, Mother Oldershaw! Go down on your wicked old knees, and thank your stars that you had a she-devil like me to deal with this morning!
“What do you think of those furnished apartments now, you stubborn old woman? Here we are, with discovery looming right at our doorstep, and no chance of escape unless we can manage to slip away from the parson in the dark. And there are the lodgings in Bayswater, where no nosy strangers have tracked either you or me, ready and waiting to take us in—the places where we can avoid any more hassle and respond to the major’s questions at our leisure. Can you finally see a little further than your old nose? Is there anything stopping you from safely disappearing from Pimlico tonight and settling into the new lodgings as my respectable reference half an hour later? Oh, come on, Mother Oldershaw! Get down on your wicked old knees and thank your lucky stars that you had a she-devil like me to deal with this morning!
“Suppose we come now to the only difficulty worth mentioning—my difficulty. Watched as I am in this house, how am I to join you without bringing the parson or the parson’s servant with me at my heels?
“Let’s address the only real issue here—my issue. With everyone keeping an eye on me in this house, how can I meet you without dragging along the parson or the parson’s servant behind me?”
“Being to all intents and purposes a prisoner here, it seems to me that I have no choice but to try the old prison plan of escape: a change of clothes. I have been looking at your house-maid. Except that we are both light, her face and hair and my face and hair are as unlike each other as possible. But she is as nearly as can be my height and size; and (if she only knew how to dress herself, and had smaller feet) her figure is a very much better one than it ought to be for a person in her station in life.
“Being basically a prisoner here, I feel like my only option is to try the old escape plan: a change of clothes. I’ve been watching your maid. Aside from the fact that we’re both light-skinned, her face and hair look completely different from mine. But she’s about my height and size; and (if she only knew how to dress herself and had smaller feet) her figure is way better than it should be for someone in her position.”
“My idea is to dress her in the clothes I wore in the Gardens to-day; to send her out, with our reverend enemy in full pursuit of her; and, as soon as the coast is clear, to slip away myself and join you. The thing would be quite impossible, of course, if I had been seen with my veil up; but, as events have turned out, it is one advantage of the horrible exposure which followed my marriage that I seldom show myself in public, and never, of course, in such a populous place as London, without wearing a thick veil and keeping that veil down. If the house-maid wears my dress, I don’t really see why the house-maid may not be counted on to represent me to the life.
“My plan is to dress her in the clothes I wore in the Gardens today; to send her out while our esteemed enemy chases after her; and, as soon as it’s safe, to slip away and meet up with you. This would be totally impossible, of course, if I had been seen with my veil up; but, as it turns out, one advantage of the awful exposure that followed my marriage is that I rarely show myself in public, and never, of course, in such a crowded place like London, without wearing a thick veil and keeping it down. If the housemaid wears my dress, I don’t really see why she can’t convincingly represent me.”
“The one question is, Can the woman be trusted? If she can, send me a line, telling her, on your authority, that she is to place herself at my disposal. I won’t say a word till I have heard from you first.
“The question is, Can the woman be trusted? If she can, send me a message, telling her, on your authority, that she should make herself available to me. I won’t say anything until I hear from you first.”
“Let me have my answer to-night. As long as we were only talking about my getting the governess’s place, I was careless enough how it ended. But now that we have actually answered Major Milroy’s advertisement, I am in earnest at last. I mean to be Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose; and woe to the man or woman who tries to stop me! Yours,
“Let me have my answer tonight. While we were just discussing my getting the governess's job, I didn’t care much about how it turned out. But now that we’ve actually responded to Major Milroy’s ad, I’m serious at last. I intend to be Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose; and watch out to anyone who tries to stop me! Yours,
“LYDIA GWILT.
LYDIA GWILT.
“P.S.—I open my letter again to say that you need have no fear of your messenger being followed on his return to Pimlico. He will drive to a public-house where he is known, will dismiss the cab at the door, and will go out again by a back way which is only used by the landlord and his friends.—L. G.”
“P.S.—I’m reopening my letter to reassure you that you don’t need to worry about your messenger being followed on his way back to Pimlico. He will stop at a pub where he’s a familiar face, will pay the cab at the entrance, and will leave through a back exit that’s only used by the landlord and his friends.—L. G.”
3. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
3. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Diana Street, 10 o’clock.
Diana Street, 10 AM.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—You have written me a heartless letter. If you had been in my trying position, harassed as I was when I wrote to you, I should have made allowances for my friend when I found my friend not so sharp as usual. But the vice of the present age is a want of consideration for persons in the decline of life. Morally speaking, you are in a sad state, my dear; and you stand much in need of a good example. You shall have a good example—I forgive you.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—You’ve sent me a really thoughtless letter. If you had been in my difficult situation, stressed like I was when I wrote to you, I would have understood if my friend wasn’t as perceptive as usual. But the issue of today is a lack of empathy for those who are getting older. Honestly, you’re in a pretty rough place, my dear; you really need a positive role model. You’ll get a good example—I forgive you.”
“Having now relieved my mind by the performance of a good action, suppose I show you next (though I protest against the vulgarity of the expression) that I can see a little further than my poor old nose?
“Now that I’ve cleared my mind by doing something good, let me show you next (even though I really don’t like the way it sounds) that I can see a bit beyond my poor old nose?”
“I will answer your question about the house-maid first. You may trust her implicitly. She has had her troubles, and has learned discretion. She also looks your age; though it is only her due to say that, in this particular, she has some years the advantage of you. I inclose the necessary directions which will place her entirely at your disposal.
“I'll answer your question about the maid first. You can trust her completely. She's had her share of difficulties and has learned to be discreet. She also looks your age, although I have to say that, in this regard, she's actually a few years older than you. I'm including the instructions you need to have her fully at your service.”
“And what comes next?
"And what's next?"
“Your plan for joining me at Bayswater comes next. It is very well as far as it goes; but it stands sadly in need of a little judicious improvement. There is a serious necessity (you shall know why presently) for deceiving the parson far more completely than you propose to deceive him. I want him to see the house-maid’s face under circumstances which will persuade him that it is your face. And then, going a step further, I want him to see the house-maid leave London, under the impression that he has seen you start on the first stage of your journey to the Brazils. He didn’t believe in that journey when I announced it to him this afternoon in the street. He may believe in it yet, if you follow the directions I am now going to give you.
“Your plan to join me at Bayswater comes next. It’s pretty good as far as it goes, but it really needs some careful improvement. There’s a serious need (you’ll find out why soon) to trick the vicar much more thoroughly than you intend. I want him to see the maid’s face in a way that will convince him it’s your face. And then, going a step further, I want him to see the maid leave London, thinking that he has seen you start on your journey to Brazil. He didn’t believe in that trip when I brought it up to him this afternoon on the street. He might believe it yet if you follow the instructions I’m about to give you.”
“To-morrow is Saturday. Send the housemaid out in your walking dress of to-day, just as you propose; but don’t stir out yourself, and don’t go near the window. Desire the woman to keep her veil down, to take half an hour’s walk (quite unconscious, of course, of the parson or his servant at her heels), and then to come back to you. As soon as she appears, send her instantly to the open window, instructing her to lift her veil carelessly and look out. Let her go away again after a minute or two, take off her bonnet and shawl, and then appear once more at the window, or, better still, in the balcony outside. She may show herself again occasionally (not too often) later in the day. And to-morrow—as we have a professional gentleman to deal with—by all means send her to church. If these proceedings don’t persuade the parson that the house-maid’s face is your face, and if they don’t make him readier to believe in your reformed character than he was when I spoke to him, I have lived sixty years, my love, in this vale of tears to mighty little purpose.
“Tomorrow is Saturday. Send the housemaid out in your walking dress from today, just like you plan; but don’t go out yourself, and keep away from the window. Ask her to keep her veil down, take a half-hour walk (totally unaware, of course, of the parson or his servant following her), and then come back to you. As soon as she shows up, send her straight to the open window, telling her to lift her veil casually and look out. She should leave again after a minute or two, take off her bonnet and shawl, and then appear again at the window, or even better, on the balcony outside. She can show herself occasionally (but not too often) later in the day. And tomorrow—since we have a professional gentleman to deal with—definitely send her to church. If these actions don’t convince the parson that the housemaid’s face is your face, and if they don’t make him more willing to believe in your reformed character than he was when I talked to him, I have spent sixty years, my love, in this world of sorrow for very little reason.”
“The next day is Monday. I have looked at the shipping advertisements, and I find that a steamer leaves Liverpool for the Brazils on Tuesday. Nothing could be more convenient; we will start you on your voyage under the parson’s own eyes. You may manage it in this way:
“The next day is Monday. I checked the shipping ads, and I see that a steamer leaves Liverpool for Brazil on Tuesday. It couldn't be more convenient; we'll send you off on your journey under the parson’s own supervision. You can handle it this way:
“At one o’clock send out the man who cleans the knives and forks to get a cab; and when he has brought it up to the door, let him go back and get a second cab, which he is to wait in himself, round the corner, in the square. Let the house-maid (still in your dress) drive off, with the necessary boxes, in the first cab to the North-western Railway. When she is gone, slip out yourself to the cab waiting round the corner, and come to me at Bayswater. They may be prepared to follow the house-maid’s cab, because they have seen it at the door; but they won’t be prepared to follow your cab, because it has been hidden round the corner. When the house-maid has got to the station, and has done her best to disappear in the crowd (I have chosen the mixed train at 2:10, so as to give her every chance), you will be safe with me; and whether they do or do not find out that she does not really start for Liverpool won’t matter by that time. They will have lost all trace of you; and they may follow the house-maid half over London, if they like. She has my instructions (inclosed) to leave the empty boxes to find their way to the lost luggage office and to go to her friends in the City, and stay there till I write word that I want her again.
“At one o’clock, send the guy who cleans the knives and forks to get a cab. When he brings it to the door, let him go back to get a second cab, which he should wait for himself around the corner in the square. Let the housemaid (still in your dress) leave with the necessary boxes in the first cab to the North-western Railway. Once she’s gone, slip out to the cab waiting around the corner and come to me in Bayswater. They might try to follow the housemaid’s cab because they’ve seen it at the door, but they won’t know to follow yours since it’s hidden around the corner. After the housemaid makes it to the station and does her best to blend in with the crowd (I picked the mixed train at 2:10 to give her the best chance), you’ll be safe with me; whether or not they realize she isn’t actually leaving for Liverpool won’t matter by then. They’ll have lost all trace of you, and they can follow the housemaid all over London if they want. She has my instructions (attached) to leave the empty boxes to find their way to the lost luggage office and to go to her friends in the City, staying there until I tell her I want her back.”
“And what is the object of all this?
“And what’s the point of all this?
“My dear Lydia, the object is your future security (and mine). We may succeed or we may fail, in persuading the parson that you have actually gone to the Brazils. If we succeed, we are relieved of all fear of him. If we fail, he will warn young Armadale to be careful of a woman like my house-maid, and not of a woman like you. This last gain is a very important one; for we don’t know that Mrs. Armadale may not have told him your maiden name. In that event, the ‘Miss Gwilt’ whom he will describe as having slipped through his fingers here will be so entirely unlike the ‘Miss Gwilt’ established at Thorpe Ambrose, as to satisfy everybody that it is not a case of similarity of persons, but only a case of similarity of names.
“My dear Lydia, the goal is your future security (and mine). We might succeed or we might fail in convincing the parson that you’ve actually gone to Brazil. If we succeed, we’ll have no more worries about him. If we fail, he’ll caution young Armadale to be wary of a woman like my housemaid, and not of a woman like you. This last point is very significant; since we aren’t sure whether Mrs. Armadale has told him your maiden name. If she has, the 'Miss Gwilt' he describes as having slipped through his fingers here will be completely different from the 'Miss Gwilt' known at Thorpe Ambrose, proving to everyone that this isn’t a case of similar people, but just a case of similar names.”
“What do you say now to my improvement on your idea? Are my brains not quite so addled as you thought them when you wrote? Don’t suppose I’m at all overboastful about my own ingenuity. Cleverer tricks than this trick of mine are played off on the public by swindlers, and are recorded in the newspapers every week. I only want to show you that my assistance is not less necessary to the success of the Armadale speculation now than it was when I made our first important discoveries, by means of the harmless-looking young man and the private inquiry office in Shadyside Place.
“What do you think about my improvement on your idea now? Are my brains not as scrambled as you thought when you wrote that? Don’t think I’m being overly boastful about my creativity. There are far cleverer tricks than mine being pulled on the public by con artists, and they’re reported in the newspapers every week. I just want to show you that my help is just as essential to the success of the Armadale project now as it was when I made our first important discoveries, using the seemingly harmless young man and the private inquiry office on Shadyside Place.
“There is nothing more to say that I know of, except that I am just going to start for the new lodging, with a box directed in my new name. The last expiring moments of Mother Oldershaw, of the Toilet Repository, are close at hand, and the birth of Miss Gwilt’s respectable reference, Mrs. Mandeville, will take place in a cab in five minutes’ time. I fancy I must be still young at heart, for I am quite in love already with my romantic name; it sounds almost as pretty as Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, doesn’t it?
“There’s nothing more I can think of to say, except that I’m about to head to my new place with a box labeled with my new name. Mother Oldershaw, from the Toilet Repository, is nearing her last moments, and Miss Gwilt's respectable reference, Mrs. Mandeville, will be arriving in a cab in just five minutes. I guess I must still be young at heart because I’m already quite in love with my romantic name; it sounds almost as lovely as Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, doesn’t it?”
“Good-night, my dear, and pleasant dreams. If any accident happens between this and Monday, write to me instantly by post. If no accident happens you will be with me in excellent time for the earliest inquiries that the major can possibly make. My last words are, don’t go out, and don’t venture near the front windows till Monday comes.
“Good night, my dear, and sweet dreams. If anything happens between now and Monday, please write to me right away by mail. If nothing happens, you’ll arrive in plenty of time for the earliest questions the major can possibly ask. My final advice is, don’t go out and stay away from the front windows until Monday comes.”
“Affectionately yours,
"With love,"
“M. O.”
“M. O.”
VI. MIDWINTER IN DISGUISE.
Toward noon on the day of the twenty-first, Miss Milroy was loitering in the cottage garden—released from duty in the sick-room by an improvement in her mother’s health—when her attention was attracted by the sound of voices in the park. One of the voices she instantly recognized as Allan’s; the other was strange to her. She put aside the branches of a shrub near the garden palings, and, peeping through, saw Allan approaching the cottage gate, in company with a slim, dark, undersized man, who was talking and laughing excitably at the top of his voice. Miss Milroy ran indoors to warn her father of Mr. Armadale’s arrival, and to add that he was bringing with him a noisy stranger, who was, in all probability, the friend generally reported to be staying with the squire at the great house.
Toward noon on the twenty-first, Miss Milroy was hanging out in the cottage garden—free from her duties in the sick-room thanks to an improvement in her mother’s health—when she heard voices coming from the park. One voice she recognized as Allan’s; the other was unfamiliar. She pushed aside the branches of a shrub near the garden fence and, peeking through, saw Allan walking toward the cottage gate with a slim, dark, short man who was talking and laughing loudly. Miss Milroy quickly went inside to tell her father about Mr. Armadale’s arrival and mentioned that he was bringing along a noisy stranger, who was probably the friend rumored to be staying with the squire at the big house.
Had the major’s daughter guessed right? Was the squire’s loud-talking, loud-laughing companion the shy, sensitive Midwinter of other times? It was even so. In Allan’s presence, that morning, an extraordinary change had passed over the ordinarily quiet demeanor of Allan’s friend.
Had the major's daughter guessed correctly? Was the squire's loud-talking, loud-laughing friend the shy, sensitive Midwinter from before? It was indeed the case. In Allan's presence that morning, an unusual transformation had taken place in the usually reserved behavior of Allan's friend.
When Midwinter had first appeared in the breakfast-room, after putting aside Mr. Brock’s startling letter, Allan had been too much occupied to pay any special attention to him. The undecided difficulty of choosing the day for the audit dinner had pressed for a settlement once more, and had been fixed at last (under the butler’s advice) for Saturday, the twenty-eighth of the month. It was only on turning round to remind Midwinter of the ample space of time which the new arrangement allowed for mastering the steward’s books, that even Allan’s flighty attention had been arrested by a marked change in the face that confronted him. He had openly noticed the change in his usual blunt manner, and had been instantly silenced by a fretful, almost an angry, reply. The two had sat down together to breakfast without the usual cordiality, and the meal had proceeded gloomily, till Midwinter himself broke the silence by bursting into the strange outbreak of gayety which had revealed in Allan’s eyes a new side to the character of his friend.
When Midwinter first walked into the breakfast room, right after setting aside Mr. Brock’s shocking letter, Allan had been too preoccupied to really notice him. The ongoing dilemma of picking a date for the audit dinner needed to be settled again, and it was finally confirmed (thanks to the butler’s advice) for Saturday, the twenty-eighth of the month. It was only when Allan turned to remind Midwinter about the ample time the new plan gave for going over the steward’s books that he noticed a significant change in Midwinter’s expression. He commented on the change in his usual straightforward way, only to be met with a cranky, almost angry response that left him speechless. They sat down to breakfast without their usual warmth, and the meal went on in a gloomy silence, until Midwinter suddenly broke it with an unexpected burst of cheerfulness, revealing a different side of his personality that caught Allan off guard.
As usual with most of Allan’s judgments, here again the conclusion was wrong. It was no new side to Midwinter’s character that now presented itself—it was only a new aspect of the one ever-recurring struggle of Midwinter’s life.
As always with most of Allan’s decisions, the conclusion here was again incorrect. There was nothing new about Midwinter’s character that came to light—it was just a different facet of the same ongoing struggle in Midwinter’s life.
Irritated by Allan’s discovery of the change in him, and dreading the next questions that Allan’s curiosity might put, Midwinter had roused himself to efface, by main force, the impression which his own altered appearance had produced. It was one of those efforts which no men compass so resolutely as the men of his quick temper and his sensitive feminine organization. With his whole mind still possessed by the firm belief that the Fatality had taken one great step nearer to Allan and himself since the rector’s adventure in Kensington Gardens—with his face still betraying what he had suffered, under the renewed conviction that his father’s death-bed warning was now, in event after event, asserting its terrible claim to part him, at any sacrifice, from the one human creature whom he loved—with the fear still busy at his heart that the first mysterious vision of Allan’s Dream might be a vision realized, before the new day that now saw the two Armadales together was a day that had passed over their heads—with these triple bonds, wrought by his own superstition, fettering him at that moment as they had never fettered him yet, he mercilessly spurred his resolution to the desperate effort of rivaling, in Allan’s presence, the gayety and good spirits of Allan himself.
Irritated by Allan’s discovery of the change in him and dreading the next questions that Allan’s curiosity might raise, Midwinter pushed himself to erase, by sheer will, the impression that his altered appearance had created. It was one of those efforts no one does as determinedly as those with his quick temper and sensitive nature. With his whole mind still consumed by the firm belief that Fate had taken one significant step closer to Allan and himself since the rector’s adventure in Kensington Gardens—with his face still showing what he had endured, under the renewed conviction that his father’s deathbed warning was now, through various events, proving its terrible claim to separate him, at any cost, from the one person he loved—with the fear still active in his heart that the first mysterious vision of Allan’s Dream might become a reality before the new day that now brought the two Armadales together was over—with these three pressures, created by his own superstition, binding him more than ever before, he relentlessly pushed his resolve to the desperate effort of matching, in Allan’s presence, the cheerfulness and good spirits of Allan himself.
He talked and laughed, and heaped his plate indiscriminately from every dish on the breakfast-table. He made noisily merry with jests that had no humor, and stories that had no point. He first astonished Allan, then amused him, then won his easily encouraged confidence on the subject of Miss Milroy. He shouted with laughter over the sudden development of Allan’s views on marriage, until the servants downstairs began to think that their master’s strange friend had gone mad. Lastly, he had accepted Allan’s proposal that he should be presented to the major’s daughter, and judge of her for himself, as readily, nay, more readily than it would have been accepted by the least diffident man living. There the two now stood at the cottage gate—Midwinter’s voice rising louder and louder over Allan’s—Midwinter’s natural manner disguised (how madly and miserably none but he knew!) in a coarse masquerade of boldness—the outrageous, the unendurable boldness of a shy man.
He talked and laughed, piling his plate high with food from every dish on the breakfast table. He made a noisy scene with jokes that weren’t funny and stories that went nowhere. He first surprised Allan, then entertained him, and eventually gained his easily won trust regarding Miss Milroy. He laughed hysterically at Allan’s sudden views on marriage until the servants downstairs started to think that their master’s strange friend had lost his mind. In the end, he accepted Allan’s suggestion to meet the major’s daughter and form his own opinion about her, doing so more eagerly than even the least shy person would have. There they stood at the cottage gate—Midwinter’s voice getting louder and louder over Allan’s—Midwinter’s true self hidden (how madly and pitifully only he knew!) beneath a rough facade of boldness—the outrageous, unbearable boldness of a shy man.
They were received in the parlor by the major’s daughter, pending the arrival of the major himself.
They were welcomed in the living room by the major’s daughter, while they waited for the major himself to arrive.
Allan attempted to present his friend in the usual form. To his astonishment, Midwinter took the words flippantly out of his lips, and introduced himself to Miss Milroy with a confident look, a hard laugh, and a clumsy assumption of ease which presented him at his worst. His artificial spirits, lashed continuously into higher and higher effervescence since the morning, were now mounting hysterically beyond his own control. He looked and spoke with that terrible freedom of license which is the necessary consequence, when a diffident man has thrown off his reserve, of the very effort by which he has broken loose from his own restraints. He involved himself in a confused medley of apologies that were not wanted, and of compliments that might have overflattered the vanity of a savage. He looked backward and forward from Miss Milroy to Allan, and declared jocosely that he understood now why his friend’s morning walks were always taken in the same direction. He asked her questions about her mother, and cut short the answers she gave him by remarks on the weather. In one breath, he said she must feel the day insufferably hot, and in another he protested that he quite envied her in her cool muslin dress.
Allan tried to introduce his friend in the usual way. To his surprise, Midwinter casually interrupted and introduced himself to Miss Milroy with a confident look, a loud laugh, and a clumsy attempt to seem relaxed that showed him at his worst. His fake enthusiasm, which had been continuously pumped up since the morning, was now spiraling out of his control. He spoke with that awful kind of freedom that often comes when a shy person finally lets go of their inhibitions; it was the very effort of breaking free from his own restraints that made it worse. He got tangled up in a confusing mix of unnecessary apologies and compliments that might have overly flattered even a savage. He kept looking back and forth between Miss Milroy and Allan, jokingly claiming that he now understood why his friend's morning walks always went in the same direction. He asked her questions about her mother, then abruptly changed the subject to the weather, saying she must find the day unbearably hot, while also insisting that he envied her for wearing such a cool muslin dress.
The major came in.
The major walked in.
Before he could say two words, Midwinter overwhelmed him with the same frenzy of familiarity, and the same feverish fluency of speech. He expressed his interest in Mrs. Milroy’s health in terms which would have been exaggerated on the lips of a friend of the family. He overflowed into a perfect flood of apologies for disturbing the major at his mechanical pursuits. He quoted Allan’s extravagant account of the clock, and expressed his own anxiety to see it in terms more extravagant still. He paraded his superficial book knowledge of the great clock at Strasbourg, with far-fetched jests on the extraordinary automaton figures which that clock puts in motion—on the procession of the Twelve Apostles, which walks out under the dial at noon, and on the toy cock, which crows at St. Peter’s appearance—and this before a man who had studied every wheel in that complex machinery, and who had passed whole years of his life in trying to imitate it. “I hear you have outnumbered the Strasbourg apostles, and outcrowed the Strasbourg cock,” he exclaimed, with the tone and manner of a friend habitually privileged to waive all ceremony; “and I am dying, absolutely dying, major, to see your wonderful clock!”
Before he could say a word, Midwinter bombarded him with the same overwhelming familiarity and the same urgent fluency. He showed concern for Mrs. Milroy’s health in ways that would have sounded exaggerated coming from a family friend. He plunged into a flood of apologies for interrupting the major during his mechanical work. He cited Allan’s over-the-top description of the clock and shared his own eagerness to see it with even more enthusiasm. He flaunted his superficial knowledge of the famous clock in Strasbourg, throwing in odd jokes about the amazing automaton figures that the clock displays—specifically, the procession of the Twelve Apostles that steps out under the dial at noon, and the toy rooster that crows when St. Peter appears—this in front of a man who had studied every gear in that intricate machine and had spent years trying to replicate it. “I hear you’ve outdone the Strasbourg apostles and out-crowed the Strasbourg rooster,” he exclaimed, speaking as if he were a close friend used to skipping all formalities; “and I’m absolutely dying to see your amazing clock!”
Major Milroy had entered the room with his mind absorbed in his own mechanical contrivances as usual. But the sudden shock of Midwinter’s familiarity was violent enough to recall him instantly to himself, and to make him master again, for the time, of his social resources as a man of the world.
Major Milroy walked into the room, preoccupied with his usual mechanical devices. However, the unexpected jolt of Midwinter’s familiarity brought him back to reality instantly, allowing him to regain control over his social skills as a worldly man, at least for the moment.
“Excuse me for interrupting you,” he said, stopping Midwinter for the moment, by a look of steady surprise. “I happen to have seen the clock at Strasbourg; and it sounds almost absurd in my ears (if you will pardon me for saying so) to put my little experiment in any light of comparison with that wonderful achievement. There is nothing else of the kind like it in the world!” He paused, to control his own mounting enthusiasm; the clock at Strasbourg was to Major Milroy what the name of Michael Angelo was to Sir Joshua Reynolds. “Mr. Armadale’s kindness has led him to exaggerate a little,” pursued the major, smiling at Allan, and passing over another attempt of Midwinter’s to seize on the talk, as if no such attempt had been made. “But as there does happen to be this one point of resemblance between the great clock abroad and the little clock at home, that they both show what they can do on the stroke of noon, and as it is close on twelve now, if you still wish to visit my workshop, Mr. Midwinter, the sooner I show you the way to it the better.” He opened the door, and apologized to Midwinter, with marked ceremony, for preceding him out of the room.
“Sorry to interrupt you,” he said, pausing Midwinter for a moment with a look of steady surprise. “I’ve seen the clock in Strasbourg, and it sounds almost ridiculous to me (if you don’t mind me saying so) to compare my little experiment with that amazing creation. There’s nothing else like it in the world!” He stopped to rein in his growing excitement; the clock in Strasbourg meant as much to Major Milroy as the name of Michael Angelo did to Sir Joshua Reynolds. “Mr. Armadale has been a bit generous in his praise,” the major continued, smiling at Allan and ignoring another attempt by Midwinter to jump into the conversation as if nothing had happened. “However, there is this one point of similarity between the great clock abroad and the little clock at home: they both showcase their abilities at noon. Since it’s almost twelve now, if you still want to see my workshop, Mr. Midwinter, I’d better show you the way.” He opened the door and apologized to Midwinter, with exaggerated politeness, for going out of the room ahead of him.
“What do you think of my friend?” whispered Allan, as he and Miss Milroy followed.
“What do you think of my friend?” Allan whispered as he and Miss Milroy followed.
“Must I tell you the truth, Mr. Armadale?” she whispered back.
“Do I have to tell you the truth, Mr. Armadale?” she whispered back.
“Of course!”
“Absolutely!”
“Then I don’t like him at all!”
“Then I really don’t like him!”
“He’s the best and dearest fellow in the world,” rejoined the outspoken Allan. “You’ll like him better when you know him better—I’m sure you will!”
“He's the best and most cherished guy in the world,” replied the candid Allan. “You'll like him even more once you get to know him better—I know you will!”
Miss Milroy made a little grimace, implying supreme indifference to Midwinter, and saucy surprise at Allan’s earnest advocacy of the merits of his friend. “Has he got nothing more interesting to say to me than that,” she wondered, privately, “after kissing my hand twice yesterday morning?”
Miss Milroy made a slight grimace, showing complete indifference to Midwinter and playful surprise at Allan’s serious support of his friend. “Does he have nothing more interesting to tell me than that,” she wondered to herself, “after kissing my hand twice yesterday morning?”
They were all in the major’s workroom before Allan had the chance of trying a more attractive subject. There, on the top of a rough wooden case, which evidently contained the machinery, was the wonderful clock. The dial was crowned by a glass pedestal placed on rock-work in carved ebony; and on the top of the pedestal sat the inevitable figure of Time, with his everlasting scythe in his hand. Below the dial was a little platform, and at either end of it rose two miniature sentry-boxes, with closed doors. Externally, this was all that appeared, until the magic moment came when the clock struck twelve noon.
They were all in the major’s workshop before Allan got the chance to suggest a more interesting topic. There, on top of a rough wooden box that clearly held the machinery, was the amazing clock. The dial was topped with a glass pedestal set on carved ebony rockwork; and on top of the pedestal sat the familiar figure of Time, holding his eternal scythe. Below the dial was a small platform, and at each end rose two tiny sentry boxes with closed doors. This was all that was visible, until the magical moment when the clock struck twelve noon.
It wanted then about three minutes to twelve; and Major Milroy seized the opportunity of explaining what the exhibition was to be, before the exhibition began.
It was about three minutes to twelve, and Major Milroy took the chance to explain what the exhibition would be before it started.
“At the first words, his mind fell back again into its old absorption over the one employment of his life. He turned to Midwinter (who had persisted in talking all the way from the parlor, and who was talking still) without a trace left in his manner of the cool and cutting composure with which he had spoken but a few minutes before. The noisy, familiar man, who had been an ill-bred intruder in the parlor, became a privileged guest in the workshop, for there he possessed the all-atoning social advantage of being new to the performances of the wonderful clock.
“At the first words, his mind slipped back into its usual fixation on the one job of his life. He turned to Midwinter (who had kept talking all the way from the parlor and was still going) without a hint of the cool and cutting calm he had shown just minutes before. The loud, familiar man, who had been an impolite intruder in the parlor, became a welcomed guest in the workshop, for there he had the redeeming social benefit of being new to the amazing clock's workings.”
“At the first stroke of twelve, Mr. Midwinter,” said the major, quite eagerly, “keep your eye on the figure of Time: he will move his scythe, and point it downward to the glass pedestal. You will next see a little printed card appear behind the glass, which will tell you the day of the month and the day of the week. At the last stroke of the clock, Time will lift his scythe again into its former position, and the chimes will ring a peal. The peal will be succeeded by the playing of a tune—the favorite march of my old regiment—and then the final performance of the clock will follow. The sentry-boxes, which you may observe at each side, will both open at the same moment. In one of them you will see the sentinel appear; and from the other a corporal and two privates will march across the platform to relieve the guard, and will then disappear, leaving the new sentinel at his post. I must ask your kind allowances for this last part of the performance. The machinery is a little complicated, and there are defects in it which I am ashamed to say I have not yet succeeded in remedying as I could wish. Sometimes the figures go all wrong, and sometimes they go all right. I hope they may do their best on the occasion of your seeing them for the first time.”
“At the first strike of twelve, Mr. Midwinter,” the major said eagerly, “watch the figure of Time: he will move his scythe and point it down toward the glass pedestal. You’ll then see a little printed card appear behind the glass, which will show you the day of the month and the day of the week. When the clock strikes last, Time will lift his scythe back to its original position, and the chimes will ring out. This will be followed by a tune—my old regiment’s favorite march—and then the final show from the clock will begin. The sentry-boxes on either side will open at the same time. In one, you’ll see the sentinel appear; from the other, a corporal and two privates will march across the platform to take over the guard, then disappear, leaving the new sentinel at his post. I must ask for your understanding regarding this last part of the performance. The machinery is a bit complex, and there are some issues I’m embarrassed to admit I haven’t been able to fix as well as I’d like. Sometimes the figures go totally wrong, and other times they’re fine. I really hope they do their best for your first viewing.”
As the major, posted near his clock, said the last words, his little audience of three, assembled at the opposite end of the room, saw the hour-hand and the minute-hand on the dial point together to twelve. The first stroke sounded, and Time, true to the signal, moved his scythe. The day of the month and the day of the week announced themselves in print through the glass pedestal next; Midwinter applauding their appearance with a noisy exaggeration of surprise, which Miss Milroy mistook for coarse sarcasm directed at her father’s pursuits, and which Allan (seeing that she was offended) attempted to moderate by touching the elbow of his friend. Meanwhile, the performances of the clock went on. At the last stroke of twelve, Time lifted his scythe again, the chimes rang, the march tune of the major’s old regiment followed; and the crowning exhibition of the relief of the guard announced itself in a preliminary trembling of the sentry-boxes, and a sudden disappearance of the major at the back of the clock.
As the major, standing by his clock, said his final words, his small audience of three at the other end of the room saw the hour and minute hands on the dial align at twelve. The first chime rang out, and Time, true to form, swung his scythe. The day and date lit up on the glass pedestal next, with Midwinter applauding their appearance with an overly dramatic expression of surprise. Miss Milroy misinterpreted this as crude sarcasm aimed at her father’s interests, and Allan, noticing her irritation, tried to calm her by gently touching his friend's elbow. In the meantime, the clock’s performances continued. At the final chime of twelve, Time raised his scythe once more, the bells rang, the march tune from the major’s old regiment played, and the highlight of the guard's relief announced itself with a slight tremor in the sentry boxes and a sudden vanishing act by the major at the back of the clock.
The performance began with the opening of the sentry-box on the right-hand side of the platform, as punctually as could be desired; the door on the other side, however, was less tractable—it remained obstinately closed. Unaware of this hitch in the proceedings, the corporal and his two privates appeared in their places in a state of perfect discipline, tottered out across the platform, all three trembling in every limb, dashed themselves headlong against the closed door on the other side, and failed in producing the smallest impression on the immovable sentry presumed to be within. An intermittent clicking, as of the major’s keys and tools at work, was heard in the machinery. The corporal and his two privates suddenly returned, backward, across the platform, and shut themselves up with a bang inside their own door. Exactly at the same moment, the other door opened for the first time, and the provoking sentry appeared with the utmost deliberation at his post, waiting to be relieved. He was allowed to wait. Nothing happened in the other box but an occasional knocking inside the door, as if the corporal and his privates were impatient to be let out. The clicking of the major’s tools was heard again among the machinery; the corporal and his party, suddenly restored to liberty, appeared in a violent hurry, and spun furiously across the platform. Quick as they were, however, the hitherto deliberate sentry on the other side now perversely showed himself to be quicker still. He disappeared like lightning into his own premises, the door closed smartly after him, the corporal and his privates dashed themselves headlong against it for the second time, and the major, appearing again round the corner of the clock, asked his audience innocently “if they would be good enough to tell him whether anything had gone wrong?”
The performance started with the sentry-box on the right side of the stage opening right on time, but the door on the other side was less cooperative—it stayed stubbornly closed. Unaware of this snag, the corporal and his two privates took their positions, perfectly disciplined, and stepped out onto the stage, all three shaking in every limb. They threw themselves against the closed door on the opposite side, but didn’t make even a dent on the immovable sentry presumed to be inside. An intermittent clicking sound, like the major’s keys and tools at work, was heard from the machinery. The corporal and his privates quickly backed away across the stage and slammed the door behind them. Just then, the other door opened for the first time, and the irritating sentry appeared with all the calm in the world, waiting to be relieved. He was made to wait. The only thing happening in the other box was an occasional knocking, as if the corporal and his privates were eager to get out. The clicking of the major’s tools echoed again in the machinery; suddenly, the corporal and his team, now free, rushed across the platform. Despite their speed, the previously slow sentry on the other side now astonishingly outpaced them. He darted back into his own area, the door closed smartly behind him, and the corporal and his privates threw themselves against it again. The major, emerging around the corner of the clock, innocently asked the audience if they could tell him whether anything had gone wrong.
The fantastic absurdity of the exhibition, heightened by Major Milroy’s grave inquiry at the end of it, was so irresistibly ludicrous that the visitors shouted with laughter; and even Miss Milroy, with all her consideration for her father’s sensitive pride in his clock, could not restrain herself from joining in the merriment which the catastrophe of the puppets had provoked. But there are limits even to the license of laughter; and these limits were ere long so outrageously overstepped by one of the little party as to have the effect of almost instantly silencing the other two. The fever of Midwinter’s false spirits flamed out into sheer delirium as the performance of the puppets came to an end. His paroxysms of laughter followed each other with such convulsive violence that Miss Milroy started back from him in alarm, and even the patient major turned on him with a look which said plainly, Leave the room! Allan, wisely impulsive for once in his life, seized Midwinter by the arm, and dragged him out by main force into the garden, and thence into the park beyond.
The ridiculousness of the exhibition, made even more intense by Major Milroy’s serious question at the end, was so laughably absurd that the visitors burst into laughter; even Miss Milroy, while fully aware of her father's sensitive pride in his clock, couldn't help but join in the fun sparked by the puppets' disaster. But there are limits to how far laughter can go, and one member of the group soon crossed those limits so thoroughly that it nearly silenced the other two. Midwinter’s fake enthusiasm erupted into pure delirium as the puppet show came to a close. His fits of laughter were so intense that Miss Milroy flinched away from him in shock, and even the normally patient major shot him a look that clearly said, Leave the room! Allan, surprisingly decisive for once, grabbed Midwinter by the arm and forcefully pulled him out into the garden, and then into the park beyond.
“Good heavens! what has come to you!” he exclaimed, shrinking back from the tortured face before him, as he stopped and looked close at it for the first time.
“Good heavens! What’s happened to you!” he exclaimed, stepping back from the tormented face in front of him as he stopped and looked closely at it for the first time.
For the moment, Midwinter was incapable of answering. The hysterical paroxysm was passing from one extreme to the other. He leaned against a tree, sobbing and gasping for breath, and stretched out his hand in mute entreaty to Allan to give him time.
For now, Midwinter couldn't respond. The intense emotional surge was swinging from one extreme to the other. He leaned against a tree, crying and struggling to breathe, reaching out his hand silently to Allan, asking for more time.
“You had better not have nursed me through my fever,” he said, faintly, as soon as he could speak. “I’m mad and miserable, Allan; I have never recovered it. Go back and ask them to forgive me; I am ashamed to go and ask them myself. I can’t tell how it happened; I can only ask your pardon and theirs.” He turned aside his head quickly so as to conceal his face. “Don’t stop here,” he said; “don’t look at me; I shall soon get over it.” Allan still hesitated, and begged hard to be allowed to take him back to the house. It was useless. “You break my heart with your kindness,” he burst out, passionately. “For God’s sake, leave me by my self!”
“You’d better not have taken care of me while I was sick,” he said weakly, as soon as he was able to speak. “I’m lost and unhappy, Allan; I’ve never gotten over it. Go back and ask them to forgive me; I’m too ashamed to ask them myself. I can’t explain how it happened; I can only ask your forgiveness and theirs.” He quickly turned his head to hide his face. “Don’t stay here,” he said; “don’t look at me; I’ll be fine soon.” Allan still hesitated and desperately asked to take him back to the house. It was no use. “You break my heart with your kindness,” he exclaimed passionately. “For God’s sake, leave me alone!”
Allan went back to the cottage, and pleaded there for indulgence to Midwinter, with an earnestness and simplicity which raised him immensely in the major’s estimation, but which totally failed to produce the same favorable impression on Miss Milroy. Little as she herself suspected it, she was fond enough of Allan already to be jealous of Allan’s friend.
Allan returned to the cottage and earnestly asked for leniency on behalf of Midwinter, showing a sincerity and straightforwardness that greatly impressed the major but didn’t have the same positive effect on Miss Milroy. Unbeknownst to her, she was already fond of Allan enough to feel jealous of his friend.
“How excessively absurd!” she thought, pettishly. “As if either papa or I considered such a person of the slightest consequence!”
“How ridiculously absurd!” she thought, annoyed. “As if either Dad or I considered such a person important in the slightest!”
“You will kindly suspend your opinion, won’t you, Major Milroy?” said Allan, in his hearty way, at parting.
“You will kindly hold off on your opinion, won’t you, Major Milroy?” said Allan, in his friendly way, as they were saying goodbye.
“With the greatest pleasure!” replied the major, cordially shaking hands.
“With the greatest pleasure!” replied the major, shaking hands warmly.
“And you, too, Miss Milroy?” added Allan.
“And you, too, Miss Milroy?” Allan added.
Miss Milroy made a mercilessly formal bow. “My opinion, Mr. Armadale, is not of the slightest consequence.”
Miss Milroy gave a rigidly formal bow. “My opinion, Mr. Armadale, doesn’t matter at all.”
Allan left the cottage, sorely puzzled to account for Miss Milroy’s sudden coolness toward him. His grand idea of conciliating the whole neighborhood by becoming a married man underwent some modification as he closed the garden gate behind him. The virtue called Prudence and the Squire of Thorpe Ambrose became personally acquainted with each other, on this occasion, for the first time; and Allan, entering headlong as usual on the high-road to moral improvement, actually decided on doing nothing in a hurry!
Allan left the cottage, deeply confused about Miss Milroy’s sudden coldness toward him. His big plan to win over the entire neighborhood by getting married changed a bit as he closed the garden gate behind him. The quality known as Prudence and the Squire of Thorpe Ambrose met personally for the first time during this event; and Allan, as usual diving straight into his path of moral improvement, actually decided to take his time and not rush into anything!
A man who is entering on a course of reformation ought, if virtue is its own reward, to be a man engaged in an essentially inspiriting pursuit. But virtue is not always its own reward; and the way that leads to reformation is remarkably ill-lighted for so respectable a thoroughfare. Allan seemed to have caught the infection of his friend’s despondency. As he walked home, he, too, began to doubt—in his widely different way, and for his widely different reasons—whether the life at Thorpe Ambrose was promising quite as fairly for the future as it had promised at first.
A man starting a journey of self-improvement should, if being virtuous is its own reward, be engaged in a genuinely uplifting endeavor. But virtue isn’t always rewarding in itself; and the path to self-improvement is surprisingly dimly lit for such a reputable road. Allan seemed to have picked up on his friend’s gloom. As he walked home, he too began to question—in his own distinct way, and for his own various reasons—whether life at Thorpe Ambrose was really as promising for the future as it had seemed at first.
VII. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Two messages were waiting for Allan when he returned to the house. One had been left by Midwinter. “He had gone out for a long walk, and Mr. Armadale was not to be alarmed if he did not get back till late in the day.” The other message had been left by “a person from Mr. Pedgift’s office,” who had called, according to appointment, while the two gentlemen were away at the major’s. “Mr. Bashwood’s respects, and he would have the honor of waiting on Mr. Armadale again in the course of the evening.”
Two messages were waiting for Allan when he got back to the house. One was from Midwinter. “He had gone out for a long walk, and Mr. Armadale shouldn’t be worried if he didn’t return until late in the day.” The other message was from “a person from Mr. Pedgift’s office,” who had come as scheduled while the two gentlemen were at the major’s. “Mr. Bashwood sends his regards, and he would be honored to meet with Mr. Armadale again later this evening.”
Toward five o’clock, Midwinter returned, pale and silent. Allan hastened to assure him that his peace was made at the cottage; and then, to change the subject, mentioned Mr. Bashwood’s message. Midwinter’s mind was so preoccupied or so languid that he hardly seemed to remember the name. Allan was obliged to remind him that Bashwood was the elderly clerk, whom Mr. Pedgift had sent to be his instructor in the duties of the steward’s office. He listened without making any remark, and withdrew to his room, to rest till dinner-time.
Toward five o’clock, Midwinter came back, looking pale and quiet. Allan quickly reassured him that everything was fine at the cottage. To change the topic, he brought up Mr. Bashwood’s message. Midwinter appeared so distracted or tired that he barely seemed to recognize the name. Allan had to remind him that Bashwood was the older clerk Mr. Pedgift had sent to teach him the duties of the steward’s office. Midwinter listened without saying anything and went to his room to rest until dinner.
Left by himself, Allan went into the library, to try if he could while away the time over a book.
Left alone, Allan went into the library to see if he could pass the time by reading a book.
He took many volumes off the shelves, and put a few of them back again; and there he ended. Miss Milroy contrived in some mysterious manner to get, in this case, between the reader and the books. Her formal bow and her merciless parting speech dwelt, try how he might to forget them, on Allan’s mind; he began to grow more and more anxious as the idle hour wore on, to recover his lost place in her favor. To call again that day at the cottage, and ask if he had been so unfortunate as to offend her, was impossible. To put the question in writing with the needful nicety of expression proved, on trying the experiment, to be a task beyond his literary reach. After a turn or two up and down the room, with his pen in his mouth, he decided on the more diplomatic course (which happened, in this case, to be the easiest course, too), of writing to Miss Milroy as cordially as if nothing had happened, and of testing his position in her good graces by the answer that she sent him back. An invitation of some kind (including her father, of course, but addressed directly to herself) was plainly the right thing to oblige her to send a written reply; but here the difficulty occurred of what the invitation was to be. A ball was not to be thought of, in his present position with the resident gentry. A dinner-party, with no indispensable elderly lady on the premises to receive Miss Milroy—except Mrs. Gripper, who could only receive her in the kitchen—was equally out of the question. What was the invitation to be? Never backward, when he wanted help, in asking for it right and left in every available direction, Allan, feeling himself at the end of his own resources, coolly rang the bell, and astonished the servant who answered it by inquiring how the late family at Thorpe Ambrose used to amuse themselves, and what sort of invitations they were in the habit of sending to their friends.
He took several books off the shelves and put a few back; that was where he stopped. Miss Milroy somehow managed to place herself between him and the books. Her formal bow and harsh farewell stuck in Allan's mind, no matter how hard he tried to forget them. As the leisurely hour progressed, he became increasingly anxious to regain her favor. It was impossible to drop by the cottage that day and ask if he had offended her. Trying to express the question in writing turned out to be too challenging for him. After pacing the room a couple of times with his pen in his mouth, he decided on the more diplomatic (and easiest) approach—to write to Miss Milroy as if nothing had happened and see how she responded to gauge his standing in her good graces. Clearly, he needed to invite her to something that required a written reply, which would include her father but be addressed directly to her. However, he struggled with what the invitation should be. A ball was out of the question, given his current status with the local gentry. A dinner party was also impractical, as there was no suitable older woman available to host her—except for Mrs. Gripper, who could only host in the kitchen. What kind of invitation should he send? Never one to hesitate seeking help whenever he needed it, Allan rang the bell and surprised the servant who answered by asking how the former family at Thorpe Ambrose entertained themselves and what type of invitations they typically sent to their friends.
“The family did what the rest of the gentry did, sir,” said the man, staring at his master in utter bewilderment. “They gave dinner-parties and balls. And in fine summer weather, sir, like this, they sometimes had lawn-parties and picnics—”
“The family did what everyone else in the upper class did, sir,” said the man, looking at his master in complete confusion. “They hosted dinner parties and balls. And on nice summer days like this, sir, they occasionally had lawn parties and picnics—”
“That’ll do!” shouted Allan. “A picnic’s just the thing to please her. Richard, you’re an invaluable man; you may go downstairs again.”
“That’s perfect!” shouted Allan. “A picnic is just what she needs. Richard, you’re an invaluable guy; you can head back downstairs now.”
Richard retired wondering, and Richard’s master seized his ready pen.
Richard retired, lost in thought, and Richard’s master quickly took up his pen.
“DEAR MISS MILROY—Since I left you it has suddenly struck me that we might have a picnic. A little change and amusement (what I should call a good shaking-up, if I wasn’t writing to a young lady) is just the thing for you, after being so long indoors lately in Mrs. Milroy’s room. A picnic is a change, and (when the wine is good) amusement, too. Will you ask the major if he will consent to the picnic, and come? And if you have got any friends in the neighborhood who like a picnic, pray ask them too, for I have got none. It shall be your picnic, but I will provide everything and take everybody. You shall choose the day, and we will picnic where you like. I have set my heart on this picnic.
"DEAR MISS MILROY—Since I left you, it suddenly occurred to me that we could have a picnic. A little change and fun (what I would call a good shake-up, if I wasn’t writing to a young lady) is exactly what you need after spending so much time indoors lately in Mrs. Milroy’s room. A picnic is a nice change, and (especially with good wine) it’s fun too. Will you ask the major if he’s okay with the picnic and if he’ll join us? And if you have any friends in the area who enjoy picnics, please invite them as well, because I don’t know anyone. It will be your picnic, but I’ll cover everything and take care of everyone. You can pick the day, and we’ll picnic wherever you want. I’m really looking forward to this picnic."
“Believe me, ever yours,
"Trust me, always yours,"
“ALLAN ARMADALE.”
“Allan Armadale.”
On reading over his composition before sealing it up, Allan frankly acknowledged to himself, this time, that it was not quite faultless. “‘Picnic’ comes in a little too often,” he said. “Never mind; if she likes the idea, she won’t quarrel with that.” He sent off the letter on the spot, with strict instructions to the messenger to wait for a reply.
On reviewing his writing before sealing it up, Allan honestly admitted to himself that it wasn’t perfect this time. “‘Picnic’ shows up a bit too frequently,” he remarked. “No big deal; if she likes the concept, she won’t have a problem with that.” He immediately sent off the letter, giving the messenger clear instructions to wait for a response.
In half an hour the answer came back on scented paper, without an erasure anywhere, fragrant to smell, and beautiful to see.
In half an hour, the response arrived on scented paper, free of any corrections, pleasant to smell, and lovely to look at.
The presentation of the naked truth is one of those exhibitions from which the native delicacy of the female mind seems instinctively to revolt. Never were the tables turned more completely than they were now turned on Allan by his fair correspondent. Machiavelli himself would never have suspected, from Miss Milroy’s letter, how heartily she had repented her petulance to the young squire as soon as his back was turned, and how extravagantly delighted she was when his invitation was placed in her hands. Her letter was the composition of a model young lady whose emotions are all kept under parental lock and key, and served out for her judiciously as occasion may require. “Papa,” appeared quite as frequently in Miss Milroy’s reply as “picnic” had appeared in Allan’s invitation. “Papa” had been as considerately kind as Mr. Armadale in wishing to procure her a little change and amusement, and had offered to forego his usual quiet habits and join the picnic. With “papa’s” sanction, therefore, she accepted, with much pleasure, Mr. Armadale’s proposal; and, at “papa’s” suggestion, she would presume on Mr. Armadale’s kindness to add two friends of theirs recently settled at Thorpe Ambrose, to the picnic party—a widow lady and her son; the latter in holy orders and in delicate health. If Tuesday next would suit Mr. Armadale, Tuesday next would suit “papa”—being the first day he could spare from repairs which were required by his clock. The rest, by “papa’s” advice, she would beg to leave entirely in Mr. Armadale’s hands; and, in the meantime, she would remain, with “papa’s” compliments, Mr. Armadale’s truly—ELEANOR MILROY.
The straightforward truth is one of those situations that naturally makes a lady feel uncomfortable. Allan found himself in an unexpected position thanks to his charming correspondent. Machiavelli wouldn’t have guessed from Miss Milroy’s letter how sincerely she regretted her earlier irritation with the young squire as soon as he was gone, and how incredibly happy she was when she received his invitation. Her letter read like that of a perfect young lady whose feelings are kept tightly under parental control, doled out sensibly as needed. “Papa” showed up just as often in Miss Milroy’s response as “picnic” had in Allan’s invitation. “Papa” had been just as thoughtfully kind as Mr. Armadale in wanting to provide her with some fun and a change of scenery, and had offered to set aside his usual quiet routine to join the picnic. With “papa’s” approval, she happily accepted Mr. Armadale’s invitation; and, at “papa’s” suggestion, she hoped to include two of their friends who recently moved to Thorpe Ambrose in the picnic— a widow and her son, who was a clergyman in fragile health. If next Tuesday worked for Mr. Armadale, it would work for “papa”—being the first day he could take off from fixing his clock. The rest, with “papa’s” input, she would trust entirely to Mr. Armadale; and in the meantime, she would remain, with “papa’s” compliments, truly yours—ELEANOR MILROY.
Who would ever have supposed that the writer of that letter had jumped for joy when Allan’s invitation arrived? Who would ever have suspected that there was an entry already in Miss Milroy’s diary, under that day’s date, to this effect: “The sweetest, dearest letter from I-know-who; I’ll never behave unkindly to him again as long as I live?” As for Allan, he was charmed with the sweet success of his maneuver. Miss Milroy had accepted his invitation; consequently, Miss Milroy was not offended with him. It was on the tip of his tongue to mention the correspondence to his friend when they met at dinner. But there was something in Midwinter’s face and manner (even plain enough for Allan to see) which warned him to wait a little before he said anything to revive the painful subject of their visit to the cottage. By common consent they both avoided all topics connected with Thorpe Ambrose, not even the visit from Mr. Bashwood, which was to come with the evening, being referred to by either of them. All through the dinner they drifted further and further back into the old endless talk of past times about ships and sailing. When the butler withdrew from his attendance at table, he came downstairs with a nautical problem on his mind, and asked his fellow-servants if they any of them knew the relative merits “on a wind” and “off a wind” of a schooner and a brig.
Who would have guessed that the writer of that letter jumped for joy when Allan’s invitation arrived? Who would have thought there was already an entry in Miss Milroy’s diary for that day that said, “The sweetest, dearest letter from I-know-who; I’ll never be unkind to him again as long as I live?” As for Allan, he was delighted with the success of his plan. Miss Milroy had accepted his invitation, so she wasn’t upset with him. He almost brought up the letter to his friend during dinner, but something in Midwinter’s expression (clear enough for Allan to notice) made him hold back before they discussed the uncomfortable topic of their visit to the cottage. By mutual agreement, they both steered clear of any subjects related to Thorpe Ambrose, even avoiding mentioning Mr. Bashwood’s visit that evening. Throughout dinner, they drifted deeper into their usual conversations about ships and sailing from the past. When the butler finished his duties at the table, he came downstairs with a nautical query and asked his fellow servants if any of them knew the advantages of “on a wind” versus “off a wind” for a schooner and a brig.
The two young men had sat longer at table than usual that day. When they went out into the garden with their cigars, the summer twilight fell gray and dim on lawn and flower bed, and narrowed round them by slow degrees the softly fading circle of the distant view. The dew was heavy, and, after a few minutes in the garden, they agreed to go back to the drier ground on the drive in front of the house.
The two young men had stayed at the table longer than usual that day. When they went out into the garden with their cigars, the summer twilight settled gray and dim on the lawn and flower bed, slowly narrowing the softly fading view in the distance. The dew was heavy, and after a few minutes in the garden, they decided to return to the drier area on the driveway in front of the house.
They were close to the turning which led into the shrubbery, when there suddenly glided out on them, from behind the foliage, a softly stepping black figure—a shadow, moving darkly through the dim evening light. Midwinter started back at the sight of it, and even the less finely strung nerves of his friend were shaken for the moment.
They were near the turn that led into the bushes when, out of nowhere, a softly moving black figure appeared from behind the leaves—a shadow moving silently through the dim evening light. Midwinter stepped back at the sight, and even his friend's usually steadier nerves were rattled for a moment.
“Who the devil are you?” cried Allan.
“Who the hell are you?” shouted Allan.
The figure bared its head in the gray light, and came slowly a step nearer. Midwinter advanced a step on his side, and looked closer. It was the man of the timid manners and the mourning garments, of whom he had asked the way to Thorpe Ambrose where the three roads met.
The figure exposed its head in the gray light and slowly took a step closer. Midwinter stepped forward on his side and looked more closely. It was the man with the shy demeanor and the mourning clothes, who he had asked for directions to Thorpe Ambrose where the three roads intersected.
“Who are you?” repeated Allan.
“Who are you?” Allan asked again.
“I humbly beg your pardon, sir,” faltered the stranger, stepping back again, confusedly. “The servants told me I should find Mr. Armadale—”
“I’m really sorry, sir,” the stranger said hesitantly, stepping back again, looking confused. “The staff told me I should find Mr. Armadale—”
“What, are you Mr. Bashwood?”
"Wait, are you Mr. Bashwood?"
“Yes, if you please, sir.”
"Certainly, if you don't mind, sir."
“I beg your pardon for speaking to you so roughly,” said Allan; “but the fact is, you rather startled me. My name is Armadale (put on your hat, pray), and this is my friend, Mr. Midwinter, who wants your help in the steward’s office.”
“I’m sorry for speaking so harshly,” said Allan; “but to be honest, you caught me off guard. My name is Armadale (please put on your hat), and this is my friend, Mr. Midwinter, who needs your help in the steward’s office.”
“We hardly stand in need of an introduction,” said Midwinter. “I met Mr. Bashwood out walking a few days since, and he was kind enough to direct me when I had lost my way.”
“We barely need an introduction,” said Midwinter. “I ran into Mr. Bashwood while walking a few days ago, and he was nice enough to help me when I got lost.”
“Put on your hat,” reiterated Allan, as Mr. Bashwood, still bareheaded, stood bowing speechlessly, now to one of the young men, and now to the other. “My good sir, put on your hat, and let me show you the way back to the house. Excuse me for noticing it,” added Allan, as the man, in sheer nervous helplessness, let his hat fall, instead of putting it back on his head; “but you seem a little out of sorts; a glass of good wine will do you no harm before you and my friend come to business. Whereabouts did you meet with Mr. Bashwood, Midwinter, when you lost your way?”
“Put on your hat,” Allan urged again as Mr. Bashwood, still without a hat, stood bowing speechlessly to one young man and then to the other. “Please, put on your hat, and let me guide you back to the house. I apologize for bringing it up,” Allan continued as the man, in his nervousness, let his hat drop instead of putting it back on his head, “but you seem a bit off; a glass of good wine will do you good before you and my friend discuss business. Where did you run into Mr. Bashwood, Midwinter, when you got lost?”
“I am too ignorant of the neighborhood to know. I must refer you to Mr. Bashwood.”
“I don’t know the area well enough to help you. I should direct you to Mr. Bashwood.”
“Come, tell us where it was,” said Allan, trying, a little too abruptly, to set the man at his ease, as they all three walked back to the house.
“Come on, tell us where it was,” said Allan, trying a bit too hard to relax the man as they all walked back to the house.
The measure of Mr. Bashwood’s constitutional timidity seemed to be filled to the brim by the loudness of Allan’s voice and the bluntness of Allan’s request. He ran over in the same feeble flow of words with which he had deluged Midwinter on the occasion when they first met.
The extent of Mr. Bashwood's natural nervousness appeared to be fully maxed out by the volume of Allan's voice and the straightforwardness of Allan's request. He rushed through the same weak stream of words that he had poured out to Midwinter when they first met.
“It was on the road, sir,” he began, addressing himself alternately to Allan, whom he called, “sir,” and to Midwinter, whom he called by his name, “I mean, if you please, on the road to Little Gill Beck. A singular name, Mr. Midwinter, and a singular place; I don’t mean the village; I mean the neighborhood—I mean the ‘Broads’ beyond the neighborhood. Perhaps you may have heard of the Norfolk Broads, sir? What they call lakes in other parts of England, they call Broads here. The Broads are quite numerous; I think they would repay a visit. You would have seen the first of them, Mr. Midwinter, if you had walked on a few miles from where I had the honor of meeting you. Remarkably numerous, the Broads, sir—situated between this and the sea. About three miles from the sea, Mr. Midwinter—about three miles. Mostly shallow, sir, with rivers running between them. Beautiful; solitary. Quite a watery country, Mr. Midwinter; quite separate, as it were, in itself. Parties sometimes visit them, sir—pleasure parties in boats. It’s quite a little network of lakes, or, perhaps—yes, perhaps, more correctly, pools. There is good sport in the cold weather. The wild fowl are quite numerous. Yes; the Broads would repay a visit, Mr. Midwinter. The next time you are walking that way. The distance from here to Little Gill Beck, and then from Little Gill Beck to Girdler Broad, which is the first you come to, is altogether not more—” In sheer nervous inability to leave off, he would apparently have gone on talking of the Norfolk Broads for the rest of the evening, if one of his two listeners had not unceremoniously cut him short before he could find his way into a new sentence.
“It was on the road, sir,” he started, addressing Allan as “sir” and Midwinter by his name. “I mean, if you don’t mind, on the road to Little Gill Beck. A strange name, Mr. Midwinter, and a unique place; I’m not talking about the village; I mean the area—I refer to the ‘Broads’ beyond the area. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Norfolk Broads, sir? What are called lakes in other parts of England are called Broads here. The Broads are quite numerous; I think they would be worth a visit. You would have seen the first of them, Mr. Midwinter, if you had walked a few miles from where I had the pleasure of meeting you. Remarkably numerous, the Broads, sir—located between here and the sea. About three miles from the sea, Mr. Midwinter—about three miles. Mostly shallow, sir, with rivers running between them. Beautiful; quiet. It’s quite a watery region, Mr. Midwinter; quite separate, in its own way. Groups sometimes visit them, sir—leisure groups in boats. It’s really like a little network of lakes, or maybe—yes, maybe more accurately, pools. There’s good sport in the cold weather. The wildfowl are quite plentiful. Yes; the Broads would be worth a visit, Mr. Midwinter, the next time you’re walking that way. The distance from here to Little Gill Beck, and then from Little Gill Beck to Girdler Broad, which is the first one you come to, is not much more—” In sheer nervousness of not knowing how to stop, he would probably have continued talking about the Norfolk Broads for the rest of the evening if one of his two listeners hadn’t abruptly cut him off before he could start a new sentence.
“Are the Broads within an easy day’s drive there and back from this house?” asked Allan, feeling, if they were, that the place for the picnic was discovered already.
“Are the Broads just a short drive there and back from this house?” Allan asked, feeling that if they were, they had already found the perfect spot for the picnic.
“Oh, yes, sir; a nice drive—quite a nice easy drive from this beautiful place!”
“Oh, yes, sir; a lovely drive—really a nice, easy drive from this beautiful place!”
They were by this time ascending the portico steps, Allan leading the way up, and calling to Midwinter and Mr. Bashwood to follow him into the library, where there was a lighted lamp.
They were now climbing the steps of the porch, with Allan leading the way up and calling for Midwinter and Mr. Bashwood to follow him into the library, where a lamp was lit.
In the interval which elapsed before the wine made its appearance, Midwinter looked at his chance acquaintance of the high-road with strangely mingled feelings of compassion and distrust—of compassion that strengthened in spite of him; of distrust that persisted in diminishing, try as he might to encourage it to grow. There, perched comfortless on the edge of his chair, sat the poor broken-down, nervous wretch, in his worn black garments, with his watery eyes, his honest old outspoken wig, his miserable mohair stock, and his false teeth that were incapable of deceiving anybody—there he sat, politely ill at ease; now shrinking in the glare of the lamp, now wincing under the shock of Allan’s sturdy voice; a man with the wrinkles of sixty years in his face, and the manners of a child in the presence of strangers; an object of pity surely, if ever there was a pitiable object yet!
In the time that passed before the wine arrived, Midwinter looked at his chance encounter from the road with a confusing mix of sympathy and distrust—sympathy that deepened despite his efforts to resist it; distrust that continued to fade, no matter how hard he tried to stoke it. There, awkwardly perched on the edge of his chair, sat the poor, broken-down, nervous guy in his tattered black clothes, with his watery eyes, his honest old wig, his shabby mohair collar, and his fake teeth that wouldn’t fool anyone—there he sat, politely uncomfortable; now shrinking in the light of the lamp, now flinching at Allan’s booming voice; a man with the wrinkles of sixty years on his face and the manners of a child around strangers; definitely a figure of pity, if there ever was one!
“Whatever else you’re afraid of, Mr. Bashwood,” cried Allan, pouring out a glass of wine, “don’t be afraid of that! There isn’t a headache in a hogshead of it! Make yourself comfortable; I’ll leave you and Mr. Midwinter to talk your business over by yourselves. It’s all in Mr. Midwinter’s hands; he acts for me, and settles everything at his own discretion.”
“Whatever else you’re scared of, Mr. Bashwood,” Allan said, pouring a glass of wine, “don’t be scared of that! There’s not a headache to be found in a barrel of it! Get comfortable; I’ll leave you and Mr. Midwinter to discuss your business on your own. It’s all in Mr. Midwinter’s hands; he’s acting on my behalf and handles everything at his own judgment.”
He said those words with a cautious choice of expression very uncharacteristic of him, and, without further explanation, made abruptly for the door. Midwinter, sitting near it, noticed his face as he went out. Easy as the way was into Allan’s favor, Mr. Bashwood, beyond all kind of doubt, had in some unaccountable manner failed to find it!
He said those words with a careful choice of expression that was very unusual for him, and without saying anything more, he suddenly headed for the door. Midwinter, sitting nearby, noticed his face as he left. Even though it was easy to win Allan’s favor, Mr. Bashwood, for some inexplicable reason, had completely failed to do so!
The two strangely assorted companions were left together—parted widely, as it seemed on the surface, from any possible interchange of sympathy; drawn invisibly one to the other, nevertheless, by those magnetic similarities of temperament which overleap all difference of age or station, and defy all apparent incongruities of mind and character. From the moment when Allan left the room, the hidden Influence that works in darkness began slowly to draw the two men together, across the great social desert which had lain between them up to this day.
The two oddly matched companions were left together—seemingly far apart on the surface with no chance for connection; yet, they were mysteriously drawn to each other by the magnetic similarities in their personalities that surpass any differences in age or status, and ignore all apparent mismatches in thoughts and character. From the moment Allan left the room, the hidden force operating in the shadows began to slowly pull the two men together, bridging the vast social gap that had separated them until now.
Midwinter was the first to approach the subject of the interview.
Midwinter was the first to bring up the topic of the interview.
“May I ask,” he began, “if you have been made acquainted with my position here, and if you know why it is that I require your assistance?”
“Can I ask,” he started, “if you’re aware of my role here, and if you understand why I need your help?”
Mr. Bashwood—still hesitating and still timid, but manifestly relieved by Allan’s departure—sat further back in his chair, and ventured on fortifying himself with a modest little sip of wine.
Mr. Bashwood—still hesitating and still timid, but clearly relieved by Allan’s departure—sat further back in his chair and decided to strengthen himself with a small sip of wine.
“Yes, sir,” he replied; “Mr. Pedgift informed me of all—at least I think I may say so—of all the circumstances. I am to instruct, or perhaps, I ought to say to advise—”
“Yes, sir,” he replied; “Mr. Pedgift filled me in on everything—at least I think I can say that—on all the details. I’m supposed to instruct, or maybe I should say advise—”
“No, Mr. Bashwood; the first word was the best word of the two. I am quite ignorant of the duties which Mr. Armadale’s kindness has induced him to intrust to me. If I understand right, there can be no question of your capacity to instruct me, for you once filled a steward’s situation yourself. May I inquire where it was?”
“No, Mr. Bashwood; the first word was the better choice. I’m not familiar with the responsibilities that Mr. Armadale’s kindness has led him to assign to me. If I understand correctly, there’s no doubt about your ability to teach me, since you once held the position of steward yourself. Can I ask where that was?”
“At Sir John Mellowship’s, sir, in West Norfolk. Perhaps you would like—I have got it with me—to see my testimonial? Sir John might have dealt more kindly with me; but I have no complaint to make; it’s all done and over now!” His watery eyes looked more watery still, and the trembling in his hands spread to his lips as he produced an old dingy letter from his pocket-book and laid it open on the table.
“At Sir John Mellowship's, sir, in West Norfolk. Would you like to see my testimonial? I have it with me. Sir John could have treated me a bit better, but I have no complaints; it’s all in the past now!” His teary eyes seemed even wetter, and the shaking in his hands spread to his lips as he pulled out an old, faded letter from his wallet and laid it open on the table.
The testimonial was very briefly and very coldly expressed, but it was conclusive as far as it went. Sir John considered it only right to say that he had no complaint to make of any want of capacity or integrity in his steward. If Mr. Bashwood’s domestic position had been compatible with the continued performance of his duties on the estate, Sir John would have been glad to keep him. As it was, embarrassments caused by the state of Mr. Bashwood’s personal affairs had rendered it undesirable that he should continue in Sir John’s service; and on that ground, and that only, his employer and he had parted. Such was Sir John’s testimony to Mr. Bashwood’s character. As Midwinter read the last lines, he thought of another testimonial, still in his own possession—of the written character which they had given him at the school, when they turned their sick usher adrift in the world. His superstition (distrusting all new events and all new faces at Thorpe Ambrose) still doubted the man before him as obstinately as ever. But when he now tried to put those doubts into words, his heart upbraided him, and he laid the letter on the table in silence.
The testimonial was stated very briefly and rather coldly, but it was conclusive enough. Sir John felt it was important to mention that he had no issues with his steward's capability or integrity. If Mr. Bashwood's personal circumstances had allowed him to continue his duties on the estate, Sir John would have been happy to keep him. However, the problems stemming from Mr. Bashwood’s personal life made it unsuitable for him to remain in Sir John’s service; on that basis alone, they had parted ways. This was Sir John’s account of Mr. Bashwood’s character. As Midwinter read the final lines, he remembered another testimonial he still had—a written reference from the school when they let their ailing usher go into the world. His superstition (which made him suspicious of all new events and faces at Thorpe Ambrose) still made him doubt the man in front of him as stubbornly as ever. But when he tried to articulate those doubts, his conscience scolded him, and he placed the letter down on the table in silence.
The sudden pause in the conversation appeared to startle Mr. Bashwood. He comforted himself with another little sip of wine, and, leaving the letter untouched, burst irrepressibly into words, as if the silence was quite unendurable to him.
The sudden break in the conversation seemed to catch Mr. Bashwood off guard. He took another small sip of wine for reassurance and, leaving the letter alone, couldn't help but speak out, as if the silence was unbearable for him.
“I am ready to answer any question, sir,” he began. “Mr. Pedgift told me that I must answer questions, because I was applying for a place of trust. Mr. Pedgift said neither you nor Mr. Armadale was likely to think the testimonial sufficient of itself. Sir John doesn’t say—he might have put it more kindly, but I don’t complain—Sir John doesn’t say what the troubles were that lost me my place. Perhaps you might wish to know—” He stopped confusedly, looked at the testimonial, and said no more.
“I’m ready to answer any questions, sir,” he started. “Mr. Pedgift told me that I need to answer questions because I’m applying for a position of trust. Mr. Pedgift said you and Mr. Armadale probably wouldn’t think the testimonial was enough on its own. Sir John doesn’t specify—he could have said it more nicely, but I’m not complaining—Sir John doesn’t mention what the issues were that caused me to lose my position. Maybe you’d like to know—” He paused awkwardly, glanced at the testimonial, and didn’t continue.
“If no interests but mine were concerned in the matter,” rejoined Midwinter, “the testimonial would, I assure you, be quite enough to satisfy me. But while I am learning my new duties, the person who teaches me will be really and truly the steward of my friend’s estate. I am very unwilling to ask you to speak on what may be a painful subject, and I am sadly inexperienced in putting such questions as I ought to put; but, perhaps, in Mr. Armadale’s interests, I ought to know something more, either from yourself, or from Mr. Pedgift, if you prefer it—” He, too, stopped confusedly, looked at the testimonial, and said no more.
“If it were just my interests at stake,” Midwinter replied, “the testimonial would definitely be enough to satisfy me. But while I'm getting used to my new responsibilities, the person who’s teaching me will actually be the steward of my friend's estate. I really don't want to ask you to talk about what might be a sensitive topic, and I’m not very good at asking the right questions; but maybe, for Mr. Armadale’s sake, I need to know a bit more, either from you or from Mr. Pedgift, if that’s what you prefer—” He also trailed off awkwardly, glanced at the testimonial, and said nothing more.
There was another moment of silence. The night was warm, and Mr. Bashwood, among his other misfortunes, had the deplorable infirmity of perspiring in the palms of the hands. He took out a miserable little cotton pocket-handkerchief, rolled it up into a ball, and softly dabbed it to and fro, from one hand to the other, with the regularity of a pendulum. Performed by other men, under other circumstances, the action might have been ridiculous. Performed by this man, at the crisis of the interview, the action was horrible.
There was another moment of silence. The night was warm, and Mr. Bashwood, along with his many troubles, had the unfortunate flaw of sweating from the palms of his hands. He pulled out a sad little cotton handkerchief, rolled it into a ball, and gently dabbed it back and forth between his hands, moving in a steady rhythm like a pendulum. If done by someone else, in a different situation, it might have seemed silly. But done by him, at such a crucial moment in the conversation, it was unsettling.
“Mr. Pedgift’s time is too valuable, sir, to be wasted on me,” he said. “I will mention what ought to be mentioned myself—if you will please to allow me. I have been unfortunate in my family. It is very hard to bear, though it seems not much to tell. My wife—” One of his hands closed fast on the pocket-handkerchief; he moistened his dry lips, struggled with himself, and went on.
“Mr. Pedgift's time is too valuable, sir, to be wasted on me,” he said. “I will mention what needs to be mentioned myself—if you would please allow me. I've had some tough luck in my family. It's really hard to deal with, even if it doesn't seem like much. My wife—” One of his hands gripped the pocket-handkerchief tightly; he moistened his dry lips, fought with himself, and continued.
“My wife, sir,” he resumed, “stood a little in my way; she did me (I am afraid I must confess) some injury with Sir John. Soon after I got the steward’s situation, she contracted—she took—she fell into habits (I hardly know how to say it) of drinking. I couldn’t break her of it, and I couldn’t always conceal it from Sir John’s knowledge. She broke out, and—and tried his patience once or twice, when he came to my office on business. Sir John excused it, not very kindly; but still he excused it. I don’t complain of Sir John! I don’t complain now of my wife.” He pointed a trembling finger at his miserable crape-covered beaver hat on the floor. “I’m in mourning for her,” he said, faintly. “She died nearly a year ago, in the county asylum here.”
“My wife, sir,” he continued, “got in my way a bit; she did me (I’m sorry to say) some harm with Sir John. Shortly after I got the steward’s job, she started—she took up—she developed habits (I’m not sure how to put it) of drinking. I couldn’t stop her, and I couldn’t always hide it from Sir John. She would lose control and—well, she tested his patience once or twice when he came to my office for work. Sir John forgave it, though not very kindly; but he still forgave it. I’m not blaming Sir John! I’m not blaming my wife anymore.” He pointed a shaking finger at his sad, crape-covered beaver hat on the floor. “I’m in mourning for her,” he said faintly. “She died nearly a year ago in the county asylum here.”
His mouth began to work convulsively. He took up the glass of wine at his side, and, instead of sipping it this time, drained it to the bottom. “I’m not much used to wine, sir,” he said, conscious, apparently, of the flush that flew into his face as he drank, and still observant of the obligations of politeness amid all the misery of the recollections that he was calling up.
His mouth started moving uncontrollably. He picked up the glass of wine next to him and, instead of just taking a sip this time, drank it all in one go. “I’m not really used to wine, sir,” he said, seemingly aware of the flush that spread across his face as he drank, still trying to be polite despite the painful memories he was bringing back.
“I beg, Mr. Bashwood, you will not distress yourself by telling me any more,” said Midwinter, recoiling from any further sanction on his part of a disclosure which had already bared the sorrows of the unhappy man before him to the quick.
“I ask you, Mr. Bashwood, please don’t upset yourself by saying anything more,” said Midwinter, pulling back from any further support of a revelation that had already exposed the sorrows of the unfortunate man in front of him to the core.
“I’m much obliged to you, sir,” replied Mr. Bashwood. “But if I don’t detain you too long, and if you will please to remember that Mr. Pedgift’s directions to me were very particular—and, besides, I only mentioned my late wife because if she hadn’t tried Sir John’s patience to begin with, things might have turned out differently—” He paused, gave up the disjointed sentence in which he had involved himself, and tried another. “I had only two children, sir,” he went on, advancing to a new point in his narrative, “a boy and a girl. The girl died when she was a baby. My son lived to grow up; and it was my son who lost me my place. I did my best for him; I got him into a respectable office in London. They wouldn’t take him without security. I’m afraid it was imprudent; but I had no rich friends to help me, and I became security. My boy turned out badly, sir. He—perhaps you will kindly understand what I mean, if I say he behaved dishonestly. His employers consented, at my entreaty, to let him off without prosecuting. I begged very hard—I was fond of my son James—and I took him home, and did my best to reform him. He wouldn’t stay with me; he went away again to London; he—I beg your pardon, sir! I’m afraid I’m confusing things; I’m afraid I’m wandering from the point.”
“I really appreciate it, sir,” Mr. Bashwood replied. “But if I don’t keep you too long, and if you could remember that Mr. Pedgift’s instructions for me were quite specific—and also, I only mentioned my late wife because if she hadn’t tested Sir John’s patience in the first place, things might have turned out differently—” He paused, gave up on the tangled sentence he had got himself into, and tried again. “I had only two kids, sir,” he continued, moving to a new part of his story, “a boy and a girl. The girl died when she was a baby. My son grew up; and it was my son who cost me my job. I did everything I could for him; I got him into a decent office in London. They wouldn’t take him without a guarantor. I’m afraid it was reckless; but I had no rich friends to help, so I became the guarantor. My boy turned out poorly, sir. He—maybe you’ll understand what I mean if I say he acted dishonestly. His employers agreed, at my request, to let him off without pressing charges. I begged a lot—I cared for my son James—and I brought him home, trying my best to set him straight. He wouldn’t stay with me; he left again for London; he—I’m sorry, sir! I’m afraid I’m getting things mixed up; I’m afraid I’m straying from the main point.”
“No, no,” said Midwinter, kindly. “If you think it right to tell me this sad story, tell it in your own way. Have you seen your son since he left you to go to London?”
“No, no,” said Midwinter, kindly. “If you feel it's right to share this sad story, tell it your way. Have you seen your son since he left to go to London?”
“No, sir. He’s in London still, for all I know. When I last heard of him, he was getting his bread—not very creditably. He was employed, under the inspector, at the Private Inquiry Office in Shadyside Place.”
“No, sir. He's still in London, as far as I know. The last I heard, he was making a living—not in the best way. He was working, under the inspector, at the Private Inquiry Office on Shadyside Place.”
He spoke those words—apparently (as events then stood) the most irrelevant to the matter in hand that had yet escaped him; actually (as events were soon to be) the most vitally important that he had uttered yet—he spoke those words absently, looking about him in confusion, and trying vainly to recover the lost thread of his narrative.
He said those words—seemingly (given the situation at the time) the most irrelevant to the issue at hand that he had expressed so far; in reality (as things were about to unfold) the most crucial he had spoken yet—he said those words absentmindedly, glancing around in confusion, and trying unsuccessfully to regain the lost thread of his story.
Midwinter compassionately helped him. “You were telling me,” he said, “that your son had been the cause of your losing your place. How did that happen?”
Midwinter kindly helped him. “You were telling me,” he said, “that your son was the reason you lost your job. How did that happen?”
“In this way, sir,” said Mr. Bashwood, getting back again excitedly into the right train of thought. “His employers consented to let him off; but they came down on his security; and I was the man. I suppose they were not to blame; the security covered their loss. I couldn’t pay it all out of my savings; I had to borrow—on the word of a man, sir, I couldn’t help it—I had to borrow. My creditor pressed me; it seemed cruel, but, if he wanted the money, I suppose it was only just. I was sold out of house and home. I dare say other gentlemen would have said what Sir John said; I dare say most people would have refused to keep a steward who had had the bailiffs after him, and his furniture sold in the neighborhood. That was how it ended, Mr. Midwinter. I needn’t detain you any longer—here is Sir John’s address, if you wish to apply to him.” Midwinter generously refused to receive the address.
“In this way, sir,” Mr. Bashwood said, getting back excitedly into the right frame of mind. “His employers agreed to let him go, but they came after me for the security, and I was that man. I guess they weren’t really at fault; the security covered their loss. I couldn’t pay it all from my savings; I had to borrow—on the word of a man, sir, I couldn't avoid it—I had to borrow. My creditor kept pushing me; it seemed harsh, but if he wanted the money, I suppose it was only fair. I lost everything—my house and home. I bet other gentlemen would have said what Sir John said; I bet most people would have refused to keep a steward who had bailiffs after him and his furniture sold off in the area. That’s how it ended, Mr. Midwinter. I shouldn't take up more of your time—here’s Sir John’s address, in case you want to reach out to him.” Midwinter generously declined to take the address.
“Thank you kindly, sir,” said Mr. Bashwood, getting tremulously on his legs. “There is nothing more, I think, except—except that Mr. Pedgift will speak for me, if you wish to inquire into my conduct in his service. I’m very much indebted to Mr. Pedgift; he’s a little rough with me sometimes, but, if he hadn’t taken me into his office, I think I should have gone to the workhouse when I left Sir John, I was so broken down.” He picked up his dingy old hat from the floor. “I won’t intrude any longer, sir. I shall be happy to call again if you wish to have time to consider before you decide-”
“Thank you, sir,” Mr. Bashwood said, standing up nervously. “I don’t think there’s anything else, except that Mr. Pedgift can vouch for me if you want to ask about my work with him. I really owe a lot to Mr. Pedgift; he can be a bit tough on me sometimes, but if he hadn’t brought me into his office, I think I would have ended up in the workhouse after leaving Sir John, I was in such a bad state.” He picked up his worn-out hat from the floor. “I won’t take up any more of your time, sir. I’d be happy to come back if you want some time to think before making a decision—”
“I want no time to consider after what you have told me,” replied Midwinter, warmly, his memory busy, while he spoke, with the time when he had told his story to Mr. Brock, and was waiting for a generous word in return, as the man before him was waiting now. “To-day is Saturday,” he went on. “Can you come and give me my first lesson on Monday morning? I beg your pardon,” he added, interrupting Mr. Bashwood’s profuse expressions of acknowledgment, and stopping him on his way out of the room; “there is one thing we ought to settle, ought we not? We haven’t spoken yet about your own interest in this matter; I mean, about the terms.” He referred, a little confusedly, to the pecuniary part of the subject. Mr. Bashwood (getting nearer and nearer to the door) answered him more confusedly still.
“I don’t want to wait to think about what you just told me,” Midwinter replied passionately, his mind occupied with the time when he had shared his story with Mr. Brock and was eagerly anticipating a kind response, just like the man in front of him was now. “Today is Saturday,” he continued. “Can you come and give me my first lesson on Monday morning? I’m sorry,” he added, interrupting Mr. Bashwood’s enthusiastic thanks and stopping him as he headed for the door. “There’s one thing we should discuss, right? We haven’t talked about your own stake in this matter; I mean, regarding the payment.” He referred, somewhat awkwardly, to the financial aspect of the topic. Mr. Bashwood, getting closer to the door, responded in even more of a jumble.
“Anything, sir—anything you think right. I won’t intrude any longer; I’ll leave it to you and Mr. Armadale.”
“Anything, sir—anything you think is right. I won’t impose any longer; I’ll leave it to you and Mr. Armadale.”
“I will send for Mr. Armadale, if you like,” said Midwinter, following him into the hall. “But I am afraid he has as little experience in matters of this kind as I have. Perhaps, if you see no objection, we might be guided by Mr. Pedgift?”
“I can call Mr. Armadale for you, if you want,” said Midwinter, trailing him into the hall. “But I’m worried he has just as little experience with this sort of thing as I do. Maybe, if you don’t mind, we could let Mr. Pedgift guide us?”
Mr. Bashwood caught eagerly at the last suggestion, pushing his retreat, while he spoke, as far as the front door. “Yes, sir—oh, yes, yes! nobody better than Mr. Pedgift. Don’t—pray don’t disturb Mr. Armadale!” His watery eyes looked quite wild with nervous alarm as he turned round for a moment in the light of the hall lamp to make that polite request. If sending for Allan had been equivalent to unchaining a ferocious watch-dog, Mr. Bashwood could hardly have been more anxious to stop the proceeding. “I wish you kindly good-evening, sir,” he went on, getting out to the steps. “I’m much obliged to you. I will be scrupulously punctual on Monday morning—I hope—I think—I’m sure you will soon learn everything I can teach you. It’s not difficult—oh dear, no—not difficult at all! I wish you kindly good-evening, sir. A beautiful night; yes, indeed, a beautiful night for a walk home.”
Mr. Bashwood eagerly seized the last suggestion, retreating as far as the front door while he spoke. “Yes, sir—oh, yes, yes! No one better than Mr. Pedgift. Please—don’t disturb Mr. Armadale!” His watery eyes looked quite wild with nervous alarm as he turned for a moment in the light of the hall lamp to make that polite request. If sending for Allan was like unleashing a fierce guard dog, Mr. Bashwood couldn't have been more anxious to stop it from happening. “I wish you a good evening, sir,” he continued, stepping out onto the steps. “Thank you very much. I’ll be very punctual on Monday morning—I hope—I think—I’m sure you’ll soon learn everything I can teach you. It’s not hard—oh dear, no—not hard at all! I wish you a good evening, sir. A beautiful night; yes, indeed, a beautiful night for a walk home.”
With those words, all dropping out of his lips one on the top of the other, and without noticing, in his agony of embarrassment at effecting his departure, Midwinter’s outstretched hand, he went noiselessly down the steps, and was lost in the darkness of the night.
With those words spilling out of his mouth one after another, and not realizing it, embarrassed about leaving, Midwinter extended his hand and quietly went down the steps, disappearing into the darkness of the night.
As Midwinter turned to re-enter the house, the dining-room door opened and his friend met him in the hall.
As Midwinter was about to go back inside the house, the dining room door swung open and his friend greeted him in the hall.
“Has Mr. Bashwood gone?” asked Allan.
“Is Mr. Bashwood gone?” Allan asked.
“He has gone,” replied Midwinter, “after telling me a very sad story, and leaving me a little ashamed of myself for having doubted him without any just cause. I have arranged that he is to give me my first lesson in the steward’s office on Monday morning.”
“He's gone,” replied Midwinter, “after sharing a very sad story and leaving me a bit ashamed for having doubted him without any good reason. I've arranged for him to give me my first lesson in the steward's office on Monday morning.”
“All right,” said Allan. “You needn’t be afraid, old boy, of my interrupting you over your studies. I dare say I’m wrong—but I don’t like Mr. Bashwood.”
“All right,” said Allan. “You don’t have to worry, buddy, about me interrupting your studies. I might be mistaken—but I just don’t like Mr. Bashwood.”
“I dare say I’m wrong,” retorted the other, a little petulantly. “I do.”
“I'll admit I’m wrong,” replied the other, a bit irritated. “I do.”
The Sunday morning found Midwinter in the park, waiting to intercept the postman, on the chance of his bringing more news from Mr. Brock.
The Sunday morning found Midwinter in the park, waiting to catch the postman, hoping he would bring more news from Mr. Brock.
At the customary hour the man made his appearance, and placed the expected letter in Midwinter’s hands. He opened it, far away from all fear of observation this time, and read these lines:
At the usual time, the man showed up and handed the anticipated letter to Midwinter. He opened it, without any worry of being watched this time, and read these lines:
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—I write more for the purpose of quieting your anxiety than because I have anything definite to say. In my last hurried letter I had no time to tell you that the elder of the two women whom I met in the Gardens had followed me, and spoken to me in the street. I believe I may characterize what she said (without doing her any injustice) as a tissue of falsehoods from beginning to end. At any rate, she confirmed me in the suspicion that some underhand proceeding is on foot, of which Allan is destined to be the victim, and that the prime mover in the conspiracy is the vile woman who helped his mother’s marriage and who hastened his mother’s death.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—I’m writing more to ease your worries than because I have anything specific to share. In my last rushed letter, I didn’t have time to mention that the older of the two women I met in the Gardens followed me and spoke to me on the street. I can honestly say that what she said was a complete web of lies from start to finish. In any case, she reinforced my suspicion that something sneaky is happening, of which Allan is going to be the target, and that the mastermind behind this scheme is the despicable woman who facilitated his mother’s marriage and was involved in her death.”
“Feeling this conviction, I have not hesitated to do, for Allan’s sake, what I would have done for no other creature in the world. I have left my hotel, and have installed myself (with my old servant Robert) in a house opposite the house to which I traced the two women. We are alternately on the watch (quite unsuspected, I am certain, by the people opposite) day and night. All my feelings, as a gentleman and a clergyman, revolt from such an occupation as I am now engaged in; but there is no other choice. I must either do this violence to my own self-respect, or I must leave Allan, with his easy nature, and in his assailable position, to defend himself against a wretch who is prepared, I firmly believe, to take the most unscrupulous advantage of his weakness and his youth. His mother’s dying entreaty has never left my memory; and, God help me, I am now degrading myself in my own eyes in consequence.
“Feeling this strong belief, I have not hesitated to do, for Allan’s sake, what I wouldn’t have done for anyone else in the world. I’ve left my hotel and moved in (with my old servant Robert) to a house across from the one where I tracked the two women. We are taking turns keeping watch (I’m sure the people across the street don’t suspect us) day and night. All my feelings, as a gentleman and a clergyman, are revolted by the line of work I’m currently involved in; but I have no other choice. I must either compromise my own self-respect or leave Allan, with his easy-going nature and vulnerable position, to fend for himself against a scoundrel who I truly believe is ready to take ruthless advantage of his youth and weakness. His mother’s dying plea has never left my mind; and, God help me, I am now humiliating myself in my own eyes because of it.”
“There has been some reward already for the sacrifice. This day (Saturday) I have gained an immense advantage—I have at last seen the woman’s face. She went out with her veil down as before; and Robert kept her in view, having my instructions, if she returned to the house, not to follow her back to the door. She did return to the house; and the result of my precaution was, as I had expected, to throw her off her guard. I saw her face unveiled at the window, and afterward again in the balcony. If any occasion should arise for describing her particularly, you shall have the description. At present I need only say that she looks the full age (five-and-thirty) at which you estimated her, and that she is by no means so handsome a woman as I had (I hardly know why) expected to see.
“There has already been some reward for the sacrifice. Today (Saturday), I gained a huge advantage—I finally saw the woman's face. She went out with her veil down as before, and Robert kept her in sight, following my instructions not to follow her back to the door if she returned to the house. She did go back, and as I expected, my precaution caught her off guard. I saw her face unveiled at the window and later again on the balcony. If I need to describe her in detail later, I will. For now, I only need to say that she looks the full age (thirty-five) that you estimated her at, and she's not nearly as attractive as I had (for reasons I can’t quite explain) anticipated seeing.”
“This is all I can now tell you. If nothing more happens by Monday or Tuesday next, I shall have no choice but to apply to my lawyers for assistance; though I am most unwilling to trust this delicate and dangerous matter in other hands than mine. Setting my own feelings however, out of the question, the business which has been the cause of my journey to London is too important to be trifled with much longer as I am trifling with it now. In any and every case, depend on my keeping you informed of the progress of events, and believe me yours truly,
“This is all I can tell you for now. If nothing new happens by next Monday or Tuesday, I’ll have no choice but to seek help from my lawyers, even though I really don’t want to trust this delicate and risky matter to anyone else. Setting aside my own feelings, though, the reason for my trip to London is too important to keep handling it like I am now. In any case, you can count on me to keep you updated on what happens, and believe me, yours truly,
“DECIMUS BROCK.”
"Decimus Brock."
Midwinter secured the letter as he had secured the letter that preceded it—side by side in his pocket-book with the narrative of Allan’s Dream.
Midwinter kept the letter just like he had kept the one before it—side by side in his wallet with the story of Allan's Dream.
“How many days more?” he asked himself, as he went back to the house. “How many days more?”
“How many more days?” he asked himself as he walked back to the house. “How many more days?”
Not many. The time he was waiting for was a time close at hand.
Not many. The time he was waiting for was just around the corner.
Monday came, and brought Mr. Bashwood, punctual to the appointed hour. Monday came, and found Allan immersed in his preparations for the picnic. He held a series of interviews, at home and abroad, all through the day. He transacted business with Mrs. Gripper, with the butler, and with the coachman, in their three several departments of eating, drinking, and driving. He went to the town to consult his professional advisers on the subject of the Broads, and to invite both the lawyers, father and son (in the absence of anybody else in the neighborhood whom he could ask), to join the picnic. Pedgift Senior (in his department) supplied general information, but begged to be excused from appearing at the picnic, on the score of business engagements. Pedgift Junior (in his department) added all the details; and, casting business engagements to the winds, accepted the invitation with the greatest pleasure. Returning from the lawyer’s office, Allan’s next proceeding was to go to the major’s cottage and obtain Miss Milroy’s approval of the proposed locality for the pleasure party. This object accomplished, he returned to his own house, to meet the last difficulty now left to encounter—the difficulty of persuading Midwinter to join the expedition to the Broads.
Monday arrived, and Mr. Bashwood showed up right on time. Monday also found Allan busy with his preparations for the picnic. He spent the whole day holding various meetings, both at home and out and about. He dealt with Mrs. Gripper, the butler, and the coachman, each in their specific roles of food, drinks, and transportation. He went into town to consult his professional advisors about the Broads and to invite both lawyers, father and son (since he couldn't think of anyone else in the area to ask), to join the picnic. Pedgift Senior (in his role) provided general information but asked to be excused from attending the picnic due to business commitments. Pedgift Junior (in his role) shared all the details and, ignoring business commitments, happily accepted the invitation. After leaving the lawyer’s office, Allan next went to the major’s cottage to get Miss Milroy’s approval on the chosen location for the outing. With that done, he returned home to tackle the final challenge—convincing Midwinter to join the trip to the Broads.
On first broaching the subject, Allan found his friend impenetrably resolute to remain at home. Midwinter’s natural reluctance to meet the major and his daughter after what had happened at the cottage, might probably have been overcome. But Midwinter’s determination not to allow Mr. Bashwood’s course of instruction to be interrupted was proof against every effort that could be made to shake it. After exerting his influence to the utmost, Allan was obliged to remain contented with a compromise. Midwinter promised, not very willingly, to join the party toward evening, at the place appointed for a gypsy tea-making, which was to close the proceedings of the day. To this extent he would consent to take the opportunity of placing himself on a friendly footing with the Milroys. More he could not concede, even to Allan’s persuasion, and for more it would be useless to ask.
When Allan first brought it up, he found his friend firmly set on staying home. Midwinter's natural hesitation to see the major and his daughter after what happened at the cottage might have been overcome. However, Midwinter's determination not to let Mr. Bashwood's lessons be interrupted was resistant to any efforts to change his mind. After doing everything he could to persuade him, Allan had to settle for a compromise. Midwinter reluctantly agreed to join the group later in the evening at the designated spot for a gypsy tea-making, which would wrap up the day's activities. To that extent, he was willing to take the opportunity to become friendly with the Milroys. He couldn't agree to anything more, even with Allan's persuasion, and it would be pointless to ask for more.
The day of the picnic came. The lovely morning, and the cheerful bustle of preparation for the expedition, failed entirely to tempt Midwinter into altering his resolution. At the regular hour he left the breakfast-table to join Mr. Bashwood in the steward’s office. The two were quietly closeted over the books, at the back of the house, while the packing for the picnic went on in front. Young Pedgift (short in stature, smart in costume, and self-reliant in manner) arrived some little time before the hour for starting, to revise all the arrangements, and to make any final improvements which his local knowledge might suggest. Allan and he were still busy in consultation when the first hitch occurred in the proceedings. The woman-servant from the cottage was reported to be waiting below for an answer to a note from her young mistress, which was placed in Allan’s hands.
The day of the picnic arrived. The beautiful morning and the lively hustle of preparing for the outing did nothing to change Midwinter's mind. At the usual time, he got up from the breakfast table to meet Mr. Bashwood in the steward’s office. The two were quietly going over the records at the back of the house while the packing for the picnic continued in front. Young Pedgift (short, well-dressed, and confident) showed up a bit early to review all the plans and suggest any last-minute tweaks based on his local knowledge. Allan and he were still deep in discussion when the first issue came up. A woman from the cottage was waiting below for a reply to a note from her young mistress, which Allan was handed.
On this occasion Miss Milroy’s emotions had apparently got the better of her sense of propriety. The tone of the letter was feverish, and the handwriting wandered crookedly up and down in deplorable freedom from all proper restraint.
On this occasion, Miss Milroy's emotions seemed to have overwhelmed her sense of decorum. The tone of the letter was intense, and the handwriting fluctuated erratically with a complete lack of proper restraint.
“Oh, Mr. Armadale” (wrote the major’s daughter), “such a misfortune! What are we to do? Papa has got a letter from grandmamma this morning about the new governess. Her reference has answered all the questions, and she’s ready to come at the shortest notice. Grandmamma thinks (how provoking!) the sooner the better; and she says we may expect her—I mean the governess—either to-day or to-morrow. Papa says (he will be so absurdly considerate to everybody!) that we can’t allow Miss Gwilt to come here (if she comes to-day) and find nobody at home to receive her. What is to be done? I am ready to cry with vexation. I have got the worst possible impression (though grandmamma says she is a charming person) of Miss Gwilt. Can you suggest something, dear Mr. Armadale? I’m sure papa would give way if you could. Don’t stop to write; send me a message back. I have got a new hat for the picnic; and oh, the agony of not knowing whether I am to keep it on or take it off. Yours truly, E. M.”
“Oh, Mr. Armadale,” wrote the major’s daughter, “what a disaster! What are we supposed to do? Dad got a letter from grandma this morning about the new governess. Her references checked out perfectly, and she’s ready to start at a moment’s notice. Grandma thinks (how annoying!) the sooner, the better; and she says we should expect her—I mean the governess—either today or tomorrow. Dad says (he will be so ridiculously considerate to everyone!) that we can’t let Miss Gwilt arrive here (if she comes today) and find no one at home to welcome her. What should we do? I’m on the verge of tears from frustration. I have the worst impression (even though grandma says she’s lovely) of Miss Gwilt. Can you suggest something, dear Mr. Armadale? I’m sure Dad would agree if you could help. Don’t bother writing; just send me a message back. I’ve got a new hat for the picnic, and oh, the agony of not knowing whether I should keep it on or take it off. Yours truly, E. M.”
“The devil take Miss Gwilt!” said Allan, staring at his legal adviser in a state of helpless consternation.
“The devil take Miss Gwilt!” said Allan, staring at his lawyer in a state of helpless shock.
“With all my heart, sir—I don’t wish to interfere,” remarked Pedgift Junior. “May I ask what’s the matter?”
“With all my heart, sir—I don’t want to get in the way,” said Pedgift Junior. “Can I ask what’s going on?”
Allan told him. Mr. Pedgift the younger might have his faults, but a want of quickness of resource was not among them.
Allan told him. Mr. Pedgift the younger might have his flaws, but a lack of quick thinking wasn’t one of them.
“There’s a way out of the difficulty, Mr. Armadale,” he said. “If the governess comes to-day, let’s have her at the picnic.”
“There’s a way out of the situation, Mr. Armadale,” he said. “If the governess comes today, let’s invite her to the picnic.”
Allan’s eyes opened wide in astonishment.
Allan's eyes widened in surprise.
“All the horses and carriages in the Thorpe Ambrose stables are not wanted for this small party of ours,” proceeded Pedgift Junior. “Of course not! Very good. If Miss Gwilt comes to-day, she can’t possibly get here before five o’clock. Good again. You order an open carriage to be waiting at the major’s door at that time, Mr. Armadale, and I’ll give the man his directions where to drive to. When the governess comes to the cottage, let her find a nice little note of apology (along with the cold fowl, or whatever else they give her after her journey) begging her to join us at the picnic, and putting a carriage at her own sole disposal to take her there. Gad, sir!” said young Pedgift, gayly, “she must be a Touchy One if she thinks herself neglected after that!”
“All the horses and carriages in the Thorpe Ambrose stables aren’t needed for this small gathering of ours,” continued Pedgift Junior. “Of course not! Great. If Miss Gwilt comes today, she definitely can’t arrive before five o’clock. Perfect. You get an open carriage ready at the major’s door by that time, Mr. Armadale, and I’ll tell the driver where to go. When the governess arrives at the cottage, let her find a nice little note of apology (along with the cold chicken or whatever else they give her after her trip) inviting her to join us at the picnic, and offering her a carriage just for her to get there. Honestly, sir!” said young Pedgift cheerfully, “she must be really sensitive if she feels overlooked after that!”
“Capital!” cried Allan. “She shall have every attention. I’ll give her the pony-chaise and the white harness, and she shall drive herself, if she likes.”
“Money!” shouted Allan. “She’ll get all the attention. I’ll give her the pony cart and the white harness, and she can drive herself if she wants.”
He scribbled a line to relieve Miss Milroy’s apprehensions, and gave the necessary orders for the pony-chaise. Ten minutes later, the carriages for the pleasure party were at the door.
He quickly wrote a note to ease Miss Milroy’s worries and arranged for the pony-chaise. Ten minutes later, the carriages for the outing were at the door.
“Now we’ve taken all this trouble about her,” said Allan, reverting to the governess as they left the house, “I wonder, if she does come to-day, whether we shall see her at the picnic!”
“Now that we've gone to all this trouble for her,” said Allan, turning back to the governess as they left the house, “I wonder if she shows up today, whether we'll see her at the picnic!”
“Depends, entirely on her age, sir,” remarked young Pedgift, pronouncing judgment with the happy confidence in himself which eminently distinguished him. “If she’s an old one, she’ll be knocked up with the journey, and she’ll stick to the cold fowl and the cottage. If she’s a young one, either I know nothing of women, or the pony in the white harness will bring her to the picnic.”
“Depends entirely on her age, sir,” said young Pedgift, delivering his verdict with the self-assurance that really set him apart. “If she’s older, she’ll be worn out from the trip, and she’ll just want the cold chicken and the cottage. If she’s younger, either I know nothing about women, or the pony in the white harness will bring her to the picnic.”
They started for the major’s cottage.
They headed to the major’s cottage.
VIII. THE NORFOLK BROADS.
The little group gathered together in Major Milroy’s parlor to wait for the carriages from Thorpe Ambrose would hardly have conveyed the idea, to any previously uninstructed person introduced among them, of a party assembled in expectation of a picnic. They were almost dull enough, as far as outward appearances went, to have been a party assembled in expectation of a marriage.
The small group gathered in Major Milroy’s living room to wait for the carriages from Thorpe Ambrose wouldn’t have given anyone unfamiliar with the situation the impression of a group waiting for a picnic. They looked almost bored enough, based on their outward appearances, to be a gathering anticipating a wedding.
Even Miss Milroy herself, though conscious, of looking her best in her bright muslin dress and her gayly feathered new hat, was at this inauspicious moment Miss Milroy under a cloud. Although Allan’s note had assured her, in Allan’s strongest language, that the one great object of reconciling the governess’s arrival with the celebration of the picnic was an object achieved, the doubt still remained whether the plan proposed—whatever it might be—would meet with her father’s approval. In a word, Miss Milroy declined to feel sure of her day’s pleasure until the carriage made its appearance and took her from the door. The major, on his side, arrayed for the festive occasion in a tight blue frock-coat which he had not worn for years, and threatened with a whole long day of separation from his old friend and comrade the clock, was a man out of his element, if ever such a man existed yet. As for the friends who had been asked at Allan’s request—the widow lady (otherwise Mrs. Pentecost) and her son (the Reverend Samuel) in delicate health—two people less capable, apparently of adding to the hilarity of the day could hardly have been discovered in the length and breadth of all England. A young man who plays his part in society by looking on in green spectacles, and listening with a sickly smile, may be a prodigy of intellect and a mine of virtue, but he is hardly, perhaps, the right sort of man to have at a picnic. An old lady afflicted with deafness, whose one inexhaustible subject of interest is the subject of her son, and who (on the happily rare occasions when that son opens his lips) asks everybody eagerly, “What does my boy say?” is a person to be pitied in respect of her infirmities, and a person to be admired in respect of her maternal devotedness, but not a person, if the thing could possibly be avoided, to take to a picnic. Such a man, nevertheless, was the Reverend Samuel Pentecost, and such a woman was the Reverend Samuel’s mother; and in the dearth of any other producible guests, there they were, engaged to eat, drink, and be merry for the day at Mr. Armadale’s pleasure party to the Norfolk Broads.
Even Miss Milroy herself, despite trying to look her best in her bright muslin dress and colorful new hat, was feeling a bit down at this unfortunate moment. Allan's note had confidently told her that the main goal of having the governess arrive in time for the picnic was accomplished, but she still wondered if her father's approval would come for whatever plan was in place. In short, Miss Milroy wouldn't feel certain about enjoying her day until the carriage showed up to take her away. The major, meanwhile, was dressed for the festive day in a tight blue frock coat he hadn't worn in years, facing a long day away from his old friend, the clock; he was completely out of his element. As for the guests who had been invited at Allan's request—the widow lady (Mrs. Pentecost) and her son (Reverend Samuel), who was in delicate health—there were probably two people less likely to add to the day’s fun anywhere in England. A young man who participates in society by observing through green-tinted glasses, forced to smile weakly, may be incredibly smart and virtuous, but he isn't exactly the right kind of person to have at a picnic. An elderly lady with deafness, whose only endless topic is her son, who (thankfully rarely) opens his mouth, and who asks everyone eagerly, “What does my boy say?” is someone to be pitied for her condition and admired for her devotion as a mother, but ideally not someone you'd want to bring to a picnic. Yet, that was Reverend Samuel Pentecost and his mother, and since there were no other guests to invite, there they were, committed to eating, drinking, and enjoying the day at Mr. Armadale’s pleasure party to the Norfolk Broads.
The arrival of Allan, with his faithful follower, Pedgift Junior, at his heels, roused the flagging spirits of the party at the cottage. The plan for enabling the governess to join the picnic, if she arrived that day, satisfied even Major Milroy’s anxiety to show all proper attention to the lady who was coming into his house. After writing the necessary note of apology and invitation, and addressing it in her very best handwriting to the new governess, Miss Milroy ran upstairs to say good-by to her mother, and returned with a smiling face and a side look of relief directed at her father, to announce that there was nothing now to keep any of them a moment longer indoors. The company at once directed their steps to the garden gate, and were there met face to face by the second great difficulty of the day. How were the six persons of the picnic to be divided between the two open carriages that were in waiting for them?
The arrival of Allan, followed closely by his loyal companion, Pedgift Junior, lifted the spirits of everyone at the cottage. The plan to allow the governess to join the picnic, if she arrived that day, even eased Major Milroy’s concerns about showing the right hospitality to the lady coming into his home. After writing a note of apology and invitation, carefully addressing it in her best handwriting to the new governess, Miss Milroy dashed upstairs to say goodbye to her mother. She came back with a bright smile and a relieved glance at her father, announcing that nothing was keeping them indoors any longer. The group immediately headed for the garden gate, where they were confronted with the second big challenge of the day. How were they going to divide the six picnic-goers between the two waiting open carriages?
Here, again, Pedgift Junior exhibited his invaluable faculty of contrivance. This highly cultivated young man possessed in an eminent degree an accomplishment more or less peculiar to all the young men of the age we live in: he was perfectly capable of taking his pleasure without forgetting his business. Such a client as the Master of Thorpe Ambrose fell but seldom in his father’s way, and to pay special but unobtrusive attention to Allan all through the day was the business of which young Pedgift, while proving himself to be the life and soul of the picnic, never once lost sight from the beginning of the merry-making to the end. He had detected the state of affairs between Miss Milroy and Allan at glance, and he at once provided for his client’s inclinations in that quarter by offering, in virtue of his local knowledge, to lead the way in the first carriage, and by asking Major Milroy and the curate if they would do him the honor of accompanying him.
Here, once again, Pedgift Junior showed off his amazing knack for making things work. This well-educated young man had an exceptional skill that’s somewhat typical of young men these days: he could enjoy himself without losing sight of his responsibilities. A client like the Master of Thorpe Ambrose was rare for his father, so it was crucial for young Pedgift to pay special but discreet attention to Allan throughout the day. While he brought energy and excitement to the picnic, he never forgot his duty from the start of the festivities to the finish. He quickly picked up on the dynamic between Miss Milroy and Allan, and he immediately adjusted to his client’s interests by offering, thanks to his local expertise, to lead the way in the first carriage and by inviting Major Milroy and the curate to join him.
“We shall pass a very interesting place to a military man, sir,” said young Pedgift, addressing the major, with his happy and unblushing confidence—“the remains of a Roman encampment. And my father, sir, who is a subscriber,” proceeded this rising lawyer, turning to the curate, “wished me to ask your opinion of the new Infant School buildings at Little Gill Beck. Would you kindly give it me as we go along?” He opened the carriage door, and helped in the major and the curate before they could either of them start any difficulties. The necessary result followed. Allan and Miss Milroy rode together in the same carriage, with the extra convenience of a deaf old lady in attendance to keep the squire’s compliments within the necessary limits.
“We're about to pass a really interesting spot for a military man, sir,” said young Pedgift, addressing the major with his cheerful and unapologetic confidence—“the remnants of a Roman camp. And my father, sir, who is a subscriber,” continued this up-and-coming lawyer, turning to the curate, “wanted me to ask your thoughts on the new Infant School buildings at Little Gill Beck. Would you mind sharing them as we go along?” He opened the carriage door and helped the major and the curate inside before either of them could raise any objections. The inevitable result followed. Allan and Miss Milroy shared the same carriage, along with the added convenience of a hard-of-hearing old lady present to keep the squire’s comments within reasonable bounds.
Never yet had Allan enjoyed such an interview with Miss Milroy as the interview he now obtained on the road to the Broads.
Never before had Allan enjoyed an interview with Miss Milroy as much as the one he had now on the way to the Broads.
The dear old lady, after a little anecdote or two on the subject of her son, did the one thing wanting to secure the perfect felicity of her two youthful companions: she became considerately blind for the occasion, as well as deaf. A quarter of an hour after the carriage left the major’s cottage, the poor old soul, reposing on snug cushions, and fanned by a fine summer air, fell peaceably asleep. Allan made love, and Miss Milroy sanctioned the manufacture of that occasionally precious article of human commerce, sublimely indifferent on both sides to a solemn bass accompaniment on two notes, played by the curate’s mother’s unsuspecting nose. The only interruption to the love-making (the snoring, being a thing more grave and permanent in its nature, was not interrupted at all) came at intervals from the carriage ahead. Not satisfied with having the major’s Roman encampment and the curate’s Infant Schools on his mind, Pedgift Junior rose erect from time to time in his place, and, respectfully hailing the hindmost vehicle, directed Allan’s attention, in a shrill tenor voice, and with an excellent choice of language, to objects of interest on the road. The only way to quiet him was to answer, which Allan invariably did by shouting back, “Yes, beautiful,” upon which young Pedgift disappeared again in the recesses of the leading carriage, and took up the Romans and the Infants where he had left them last.
The sweet old lady, after sharing a story or two about her son, did the one thing needed to ensure her two young friends had the perfect time: she pretended not to see or hear anything. About fifteen minutes after the carriage left the major’s cottage, the poor old dear, resting on soft cushions and enjoying a nice summer breeze, fell peacefully asleep. Allan was flirting, and Miss Milroy happily encouraged the creation of that sometimes precious currency of human interactions, completely ignoring the serious background noise created by the curate’s mother’s unsuspecting snores. The only interruption to their romance (the snoring, being more substantial and ongoing, wasn’t really interrupted) came occasionally from the carriage ahead. Not content with just thinking about the major’s Roman encampment and the curate’s Infant Schools, Pedgift Junior would sit up every now and then, and, calling out to the carriage behind him in a high voice and with great clarity, pointed out interesting sights along the route. The only way to quiet him was for Allan to respond, which he always did by shouting back, “Yes, beautiful,” at which point young Pedgift would disappear again into the front carriage, resuming his thoughts on the Romans and the Infants where he had left off.
The scene through which the picnic party was now passing merited far more attention than it received either from Allan or Allan’s friends.
The scene the picnic group was now going through deserved a lot more attention than it was getting from Allan or his friends.
An hour’s steady driving from the major’s cottage had taken young Armadale and his guests beyond the limits of Midwinter’s solitary walk, and was now bringing them nearer and nearer to one of the strangest and loveliest aspects of nature which the inland landscape, not of Norfolk only, but of all England, can show. Little by little the face of the country began to change as the carriages approached the remote and lonely district of the Broads. The wheat fields and turnip fields became perceptibly fewer, and the fat green grazing grounds on either side grew wider and wider in their smooth and sweeping range. Heaps of dry rushes and reeds, laid up for the basket-maker and the thatcher, began to appear at the road-side. The old gabled cottages of the early part of the drive dwindled and disappeared, and huts with mud walls rose in their place. With the ancient church towers and the wind and water mills, which had hitherto been the only lofty objects seen over the low marshy flat, there now rose all round the horizon, gliding slow and distant behind fringes of pollard willows, the sails of invisible boats moving on invisible waters. All the strange and startling anomalies presented by an inland agricultural district, isolated from other districts by its intricate surrounding network of pools and streams—holding its communications and carrying its produce by water instead of by land—began to present themselves in closer and closer succession. Nets appeared on cottage pailings; little flat-bottomed boats lay strangely at rest among the flowers in cottage gardens; farmers’ men passed to and fro clad in composite costume of the coast and the field, in sailors’ hats, and fishermen’s boots, and plowmen’s smocks; and even yet the low-lying labyrinth of waters, embosomed in its mystery of solitude, was a hidden labyrinth still. A minute more, and the carriages took a sudden turn from the hard high-road into a little weedy lane. The wheels ran noiseless on the damp and spongy ground. A lonely outlying cottage appeared with its litter of nets and boats. A few yards further on, and the last morsel of firm earth suddenly ended in a tiny creek and quay. One turn more to the end of the quay—and there, spreading its great sheet of water, far and bright and smooth, on the right hand and the left—there, as pure in its spotless blue, as still in its heavenly peacefulness, as the summer sky above it, was the first of the Norfolk Broads.
An hour of steady driving from the major’s cottage had taken young Armadale and his guests beyond Midwinter’s isolated path, and was now bringing them closer to one of the strangest and most beautiful sights in nature that the inland landscape—not just of Norfolk, but all of England—has to offer. Little by little, the landscape began to change as the carriages approached the remote and quiet area of the Broads. The wheat and turnip fields became noticeably fewer, and the lush green grazing lands on either side expanded wider and wider in their smooth, sweeping stretch. Piles of dry rushes and reeds, stored for basket-making and thatching, started to appear along the roadside. The old gabled cottages from earlier in the drive shrank and disappeared, replaced by huts with mud walls. Alongside the ancient church towers and the wind and watermills, which had been the only tall structures visible over the low marshy flat, sails of unseen boats glided slowly and distantly behind the fringes of pollard willows all around the horizon, moving on invisible waters. All the unusual and surprising features of an inland agricultural area, separated from other regions by its intricate network of pools and streams—transporting its goods and communications by water instead of by land—began to show themselves in closer succession. Nets appeared on cottage fences; small flat-bottomed boats lay strangely at rest among the flowers in cottage gardens; farm workers passed back and forth dressed in a mix of coastal and rural attire, wearing sailors’ hats, fishermen’s boots, and plowmen’s smocks; and still, the low-lying labyrinth of waters, wrapped in mystery and solitude, remained a hidden maze. In a moment, the carriages took a sudden turn from the hard main road into a small weedy lane. The wheels rolled silently on the damp and spongy ground. A lonely outlying cottage appeared, cluttered with nets and boats. A few yards further, the last bit of solid ground ended abruptly in a tiny creek and quay. One more turn at the end of the quay—and there, spreading its vast sheet of water, bright and smooth, on the right and the left—there, as pure in its spotless blue as calm in its heavenly stillness, as the summer sky above it, was the first of the Norfolk Broads.
The carriages stopped, the love-making broke off, and the venerable Mrs. Pentecost, recovering the use of her senses at a moment’s notice, fixed her eyes sternly on Allan the instant she woke.
The carriages came to a halt, the flirting paused, and the esteemed Mrs. Pentecost, regaining her senses in an instant, set her gaze firmly on Allan the moment she woke up.
“I see in your face, Mr. Armadale,” said the old lady, sharply, “that you think I have been asleep.”
“I can tell by your expression, Mr. Armadale,” the old lady said sharply, “that you think I’ve been sleeping.”
The consciousness of guilt acts differently on the two sexes. In nine cases out of ten, it is a much more manageable consciousness with a woman than with a man. All the confusion, on this occasion, was on the man’s side. While Allan reddened and looked embarrassed, the quick-witted Miss Milroy instantly embraced the old lady with a burst of innocent laughter. “He is quite incapable, dear Mrs. Pentecost,” said the little hypocrite, “of anything so ridiculous as thinking you have been asleep!”
The awareness of guilt affects men and women differently. In about nine out of ten cases, women handle this feeling much better than men do. In this situation, all the awkwardness was on the man's side. While Allan blushed and appeared flustered, the sharp-minded Miss Milroy quickly hugged the elderly woman with a burst of carefree laughter. “He’s completely incapable, dear Mrs. Pentecost,” said the little deceiver, “of something as silly as thinking you’ve been asleep!”
“All I wish Mr. Armadale to know,” pursued the old lady, still suspicious of Allan, “is, that my head being giddy, I am obliged to close my eyes in a carriage. Closing the eyes, Mr. Armadale, is one thing, and going to sleep is another. Where is my son?”
“All I want Mr. Armadale to know,” continued the old lady, still wary of Allan, “is that my head feels dizzy, so I have to close my eyes in a carriage. Closing my eyes, Mr. Armadale, is one thing, but falling asleep is another. Where is my son?”
The Reverend Samuel appeared silently at the carriage door, and assisted his mother to get out (“Did you enjoy the drive, Sammy?” asked the old lady. “Beautiful scenery, my dear, wasn’t it?”) Young Pedgift, on whom the arrangements for exploring the Broads devolved, hustled about, giving his orders to the boatman. Major Milroy, placid and patient, sat apart on an overturned punt, and privately looked at his watch. Was it past noon already? More than an hour past. For the first time, for many a long year, the famous clock at home had struck in an empty workshop. Time had lifted his wonderful scythe, and the corporal and his men had relieved guard, with no master’s eye to watch their performances, with no master’s hand to encourage them to do their best. The major sighed as he put his watch back in his pocket. “I’m afraid I’m too old for this sort of thing,” thought the good man, looking about him dreamily. “I don’t find I enjoy it as much as I thought I should. When are we going on the water, I wonder? Where’s Neelie?”
The Reverend Samuel appeared quietly at the carriage door and helped his mother get out. (“Did you enjoy the drive, Sammy?” the old lady asked. “Beautiful scenery, my dear, wasn’t it?”) Young Pedgift, who was in charge of arranging the exploration of the Broads, rushed around giving orders to the boatman. Major Milroy, calm and patient, sat off to the side on an overturned punt, secretly checking his watch. Was it already past noon? It was more than an hour past. For the first time in many years, the famous clock at home had struck in an empty workshop. Time had pulled out its sharp scythe, and the corporal and his men had left their posts, with no master’s eye to oversee them and no master’s hand to motivate them to do their best. The major sighed as he put his watch back in his pocket. “I’m afraid I’m too old for this kind of thing,” the good man thought, looking around dreamily. “I don’t find it as enjoyable as I expected. When are we going out on the water, I wonder? Where’s Neelie?”
Neelie—more properly Miss Milroy—was behind one of the carriages with the promoter of the picnic. They were immersed in the interesting subject of their own Christian names, and Allan was as near a pointblank proposal of marriage as it is well possible for a thoughtless young gentleman of two-and-twenty to be.
Neelie—better known as Miss Milroy—was behind one of the carriages with the organizer of the picnic. They were deeply engaged in the intriguing topic of their own first names, and Allan was getting as close to a straightforward marriage proposal as a carefree 22-year-old guy can get.
“Tell me the truth,” said Miss Milroy, with her eyes modestly riveted on the ground. “When you first knew what my name was, you didn’t like it, did you?”
“Tell me the truth,” said Miss Milroy, her eyes modestly fixed on the ground. “When you first found out what my name was, you didn’t like it, did you?”
“I like everything that belongs to you,” rejoined Allan, vigorously. “I think Eleanor is a beautiful name; and yet, I don’t know why, I think the major made an improvement when he changed it to Neelie.”
“I like everything that belongs to you,” Allan replied energetically. “I think Eleanor is a beautiful name; yet, for some reason, I believe the major improved it when he changed it to Neelie.”
“I can tell you why, Mr. Armadale,” said the major’s daughter, with great gravity. “There are some unfortunate people in this world whose names are—how can I express it?—whose names are misfits. Mine is a misfit. I don’t blame my parents, for of course it was impossible to know when I was a baby how I should grow up. But as things are, I and my name don’t fit each other. When you hear a young lady called Eleanor, you think of a tall, beautiful, interesting creature directly—the very opposite of me! With my personal appearance, Eleanor sounds ridiculous; and Neelie, as you yourself remarked, is just the thing. No! no! don’t say any more; I’m tired of the subject. I’ve got another name in my head, if we must speak of names, which is much better worth talking about than mine.”
“I can tell you why, Mr. Armadale,” said the major’s daughter seriously. “There are some unfortunate people in this world whose names are—how can I put it?—whose names just don’t fit them. Mine is one of those names. I don’t blame my parents, because it was impossible to know how I would grow up when I was a baby. But as it stands, my name and I just don’t match. When you hear a young lady called Eleanor, you imagine a tall, beautiful, interesting person right away—the exact opposite of me! With how I look, Eleanor sounds ridiculous; and Neelie, as you yourself mentioned, is just perfect. No! no! don’t say anything more; I’m over this topic. I’ve got another name in mind, if we’re going to talk about names, that’s way more interesting than mine.”
She stole a glance at her companion which said plainly enough, “The name is yours.” Allan advanced a step nearer to her, and lowered his voice, without the slightest necessity, to a mysterious whisper. Miss Milroy instantly resumed her investigation of the ground. She looked at it with such extraordinary interest that a geologist might have suspected her of scientific flirtation with the superficial strata.
She glanced at her companion, clearly conveying, “The name is yours.” Allan took a step closer to her and dropped his voice to a mysterious whisper, even though it wasn't necessary. Miss Milroy immediately went back to examining the ground. She looked at it with such unusual interest that a geologist might have thought she was playfully flirting with the surface layers.
“What name are you thinking of?” asked Allan.
“What name are you thinking of?” Allan asked.
Miss Milroy addressed her answer, in the form of a remark, to the superficial strata—and let them do what they liked with it, in their capacity of conductors of sound. “If I had been a man,” she said, “I should so like to have been called Allan!”
Miss Milroy directed her response, as a comment, at the surface-level people—and let them handle it however they wanted, as the ones who convey sound. “If I had been a man,” she said, “I would have loved to be named Allan!”
She felt his eyes on her as she spoke, and, turning her head aside, became absorbed in the graining of the panel at the back of the carriage. “How beautiful it is!” she exclaimed, with a sudden outburst of interest in the vast subject of varnish. “I wonder how they do it?”
She could sense his gaze on her while she was talking, and, turning her head away, got lost in the texture of the panel at the back of the carriage. “It’s so beautiful!” she said, suddenly fascinated by the whole topic of varnish. “I wonder how they make it?”
Man persists, and woman yields. Allan declined to shift the ground from love-making to coach-making. Miss Milroy dropped the subject.
Man pushes on, and woman gives in. Allan chose not to switch the topic from romance to furniture-making. Miss Milroy let the matter go.
“Call me by my name, if you really like it,” he whispered, persuasively. “Call me ‘Allan’ for once; just to try.”
“Call me by my name, if you really like it,” he whispered, persuadingly. “Call me ‘Allan’ just this once; just to give it a shot.”
She hesitated with a heightened color and a charming smile, and shook her head. “I couldn’t just yet,” she answered, softly.
She paused, her cheeks flushed and a lovely smile on her face, and shook her head. “I can’t just yet,” she replied gently.
“May I call you Neelie? Is it too soon?”
“Can I call you Neelie? Is that too soon?”
She looked at him again, with a sudden disturbance about the bosom of her dress, and a sudden flash of tenderness in her dark-gray eyes.
She glanced at him again, feeling a sudden flutter in her chest and a quick spark of warmth in her dark-gray eyes.
“You know best,” she said, faintly, in a whisper.
“You know best,” she said softly, in a whisper.
The inevitable answer was on the tip of Allan’s tongue. At the very instant, however, when he opened his lips, the abhorrent high tenor of Pedgift Junior, shouting for “Mr. Armadale,” rang cheerfully through the quiet air. At the same moment, from the other side of the carriage, the lurid spectacles of the Reverend Samuel showed themselves officiously on the search; and the voice of the Reverend Samuel’s mother (who had, with great dexterity, put the two ideas of the presence of water and a sudden movement among the company together) inquired distractedly if anybody was drowned? Sentiment flies and Love shudders at all demonstrations of the noisy kind. Allan said: “Damn it,” and rejoined young Pedgift. Miss Milroy sighed, and took refuge with her father.
The obvious answer was on the tip of Allan’s tongue. But just as he was about to speak, Pedgift Junior's annoying high-pitched voice called out cheerfully for “Mr. Armadale,” breaking the stillness. At the same time, the flashy figure of the Reverend Samuel popped up from the other side of the carriage, looking around purposefully, while the Reverend Samuel's mother, quickly connecting the presence of water with the sudden commotion, asked in a flustered manner if anyone had drowned. Sentiment is lost, and love recoils from any loud displays. Allan muttered, “Damn it,” and went back to young Pedgift. Miss Milroy sighed and took shelter with her father.
“I’ve done it, Mr. Armadale!” cried young Pedgift, greeting his patron gayly. “We can all go on the water together; I’ve got the biggest boat on the Broads. The little skiffs,” he added, in a lower tone, as he led the way to the quay steps, “besides being ticklish and easily upset, won’t hold more than two, with the boatman; and the major told me he should feel it his duty to go with his daughter, if we all separated in different boats. I thought that would hardly do, sir,” pursued Pedgift Junior, with a respectfully sly emphasis on the words. “And, besides, if we had put the old lady into a skiff, with her weight (sixteen stone if she’s a pound), we might have had her upside down in the water half her time, which would have occasioned delay, and thrown what you call a damp on the proceedings. Here’s the boat, Mr. Armadale. What do you think of it?”
“I’ve done it, Mr. Armadale!” exclaimed young Pedgift, cheerfully greeting his patron. “We can all go out on the water together; I’ve got the biggest boat on the Broads. The little skiffs,” he added in a quieter tone as he led the way to the quay steps, “are not only shaky and prone to tipping over, but can only fit two people, plus the boatman. The major mentioned he would feel it was his duty to go with his daughter if we were all separated in different boats. I thought that wouldn’t work, sir,” continued Pedgift Junior, with a subtly cheeky emphasis on the words. “And besides, if we put the old lady in a skiff, with her weight (sixteen stone if she’s a pound), we could end up flipping her over in the water half the time, which would cause delays and put a damper on things. Here’s the boat, Mr. Armadale. What do you think of it?”
The boat added one more to the strangely anomalous objects which appeared at the Broads. It was nothing less than a stout old lifeboat, passing its last declining years on the smooth fresh water, after the stormy days of its youth time on the wild salt sea. A comfortable little cabin for the use of fowlers in the winter season had been built amidships, and a mast and sail adapted for inland navigation had been fitted forward. There was room enough and to spare for the guests, the dinner, and the three men in charge. Allan clapped his faithful lieutenant approvingly on the shoulder; and even Mrs. Pentecost, when the whole party were comfortably established on board, took a comparatively cheerful view of the prospects of the picnic. “If anything happens,” said the old lady, addressing the company generally, “there’s one comfort for all of us. My son can swim.”
The boat was just another one of those odd objects that showed up at the Broads. It was nothing less than a sturdy old lifeboat, spending its last years on the calm freshwater after its wild days out on the rough salt sea. A cozy little cabin had been built in the middle for the bird hunters during the winter, and a mast and sail suitable for navigating inland waters had been installed at the front. There was plenty of space for guests, the dinner, and the three men in charge. Allan gave his loyal lieutenant an approving pat on the shoulder; even Mrs. Pentecost, once the whole group was comfortably settled on board, started to feel a bit more optimistic about the picnic. “If anything happens,” the old lady said to everyone, “there’s one comfort for all of us. My son can swim.”
The boat floated out from the creek into the placid waters of the Broad, and the full beauty of the scene opened on the view.
The boat drifted out of the creek into the calm waters of the Broad, and the complete beauty of the scene unfolded before us.
On the northward and westward, as the boat reached the middle of the lake, the shore lay clear and low in the sunshine, fringed darkly at certain points by rows of dwarf trees; and dotted here and there, in the opener spaces, with windmills and reed-thatched cottages, of puddled mud. Southward, the great sheet of water narrowed gradually to a little group of close-nestling islands which closed the prospect; while to the east a long, gently undulating line of reeds followed the windings of the Broad, and shut out all view of the watery wastes beyond. So clear and so light was the summer air that the one cloud in the eastern quarter of the heaven was the smoke cloud left by a passing steamer three miles distant and more on the invisible sea. When the voices of the pleasure party were still, not a sound rose, far or near, but the faint ripple at the bows, as the men, with slow, deliberate strokes of their long poles, pressed the boat forward softly over the shallow water. The world and the world’s turmoil seemed left behind forever on the land; the silence was the silence of enchantment—the delicious interflow of the soft purity of the sky and the bright tranquillity of the lake.
On the northward and westward, as the boat reached the middle of the lake, the shore was clear and low in the sunlight, darkened at certain points by rows of small trees; and scattered here and there, in the open spaces, with windmills and cottages made of mud with reed thatching. To the south, the large body of water gradually narrowed to a small group of closely clustered islands that blocked the view; while to the east, a long, gently rolling line of reeds followed the curves of the Broad, shutting out any sight of the watery expanses beyond. The summer air was so clear and light that the only cloud in the eastern sky was the smoke cloud left by a passing steamer three miles away on the invisible sea. When the voices of the pleasure party quieted, not a sound could be heard, near or far, except for the faint rippling at the front of the boat, as the men, with slow, deliberate strokes of their long poles, gently pushed the boat forward over the shallow water. The world and its chaos seemed left behind forever on land; the silence was enchanting—the beautiful blend of the soft purity of the sky and the bright calm of the lake.
Established in perfect comfort in the boat—the major and his daughter on one side, the curate and his mother on the other, and Allan and young Pedgift between the two—the water party floated smoothly toward the little nest of islands at the end of the Broad. Miss Milroy was in raptures; Allan was delighted; and the major for once forgot his clock. Every one felt pleasurably, in their different ways, the quiet and beauty of the scene. Mrs. Pentecost, in her way, felt it like a clairvoyant—with closed eyes.
Settled comfortably in the boat—the major and his daughter on one side, the curate and his mother on the other, and Allan and young Pedgift in the middle—the water party glided smoothly toward the small cluster of islands at the end of the Broad. Miss Milroy was thrilled; Allan was happy; and for once, the major forgot about his watch. Everyone enjoyed, in their own ways, the tranquility and beauty of the scene. Mrs. Pentecost, in her own way, sensed it like a clairvoyant—with her eyes closed.
“Look behind you, Mr. Armadale,” whispered young Pedgift. “I think the parson’s beginning to enjoy himself.”
“Look behind you, Mr. Armadale,” whispered young Pedgift. “I think the pastor's starting to have a good time.”
An unwonted briskness—portentous apparently of coming speech—did certainly at that moment enliven the curate’s manner. He jerked his head from side to side like a bird; he cleared his throat, and clasped his hands, and looked with a gentle interest at the company. Getting into spirits seemed, in the case of this excellent person, to be alarmingly like getting into the pulpit.
A sudden energy—seemingly a sign of an upcoming speech—definitely brightened the curate’s demeanor at that moment. He turned his head from side to side like a bird, cleared his throat, clasped his hands, and looked at the group with genuine interest. For this great individual, getting excited felt worryingly similar to stepping up to the pulpit.
“Even in this scene of tranquillity,” said the Reverend Samuel, coming out softly with his first contribution to the society in the shape of a remark, “the Christian mind—led, so to speak, from one extreme to another—is forcibly recalled to the unstable nature of all earthly enjoyments. How if this calm should not last? How if the winds rose and the waters became agitated?”
“Even in this peaceful scene,” said Reverend Samuel, stepping out gently with his first comment to the group, “the Christian mind—moved, so to speak, from one extreme to another—is sharply reminded of the unpredictable nature of all earthly pleasures. What if this calm doesn't last? What if the winds pick up and the waters become troubled?”
“You needn’t alarm yourself about that, sir,” said young Pedgift; “June’s the fine season here—and you can swim.”
“You don’t need to worry about that, sir,” said young Pedgift; “June is a great time here—and you can swim.”
Mrs. Pentecost (mesmerically affected, in all probability, by the near neighborhood of her son) opened her eyes suddenly and asked, with her customary eagerness. “What does my boy say?”
Mrs. Pentecost, likely influenced by the close presence of her son, suddenly opened her eyes and asked, with her usual enthusiasm, “What does my boy say?”
The Reverend Samuel repeated his words in the key that suited his mother’s infirmity. The old lady nodded in high approval, and pursued her son’s train of thought through the medium of a quotation.
The Reverend Samuel repeated his words in a tone that worked for his mother's condition. The old lady nodded in strong approval and followed her son’s line of thinking through a quote.
“Ah!” sighed Mrs. Pentecost, with infinite relish, “He rides the whirlwind, Sammy, and directs the storm!”
“Ah!” sighed Mrs. Pentecost, with great enjoyment, “He rides the whirlwind, Sammy, and controls the storm!”
“Noble words!” said the Reverend Samuel. “Noble and consoling words!”
“Noble words!” said Reverend Samuel. “Noble and comforting words!”
“I say,” whispered Allan, “if he goes on much longer in that way, what’s to be done?”
“I mean,” whispered Allan, “if he keeps this up much longer, what are we going to do?”
“I told you, papa, it was a risk to ask them,” added Miss Milroy, in another whisper.
“I told you, Dad, it was a risk to ask them,” added Miss Milroy in another whisper.
“My dear!” remonstrated the major. “We knew nobody else in the neighborhood, and, as Mr. Armadale kindly suggested our bringing our friends, what could we do?”
“My dear!” the major protested. “We didn’t know anyone else in the neighborhood, and since Mr. Armadale kindly suggested we bring our friends, what else could we do?”
“We can’t upset the boat,” remarked young Pedgift, with sardonic gravity. “It’s a lifeboat, unfortunately. May I venture to suggest putting something into the reverend gentleman’s mouth, Mr. Armadale? It’s close on three o’clock. What do you say to ringing the dinner-bell, sir?”
“We can’t rock the boat,” said young Pedgift with a sarcastic seriousness. “It’s a lifeboat, sadly. Can I suggest putting something in the reverend gentleman’s mouth, Mr. Armadale? It’s almost three o’clock. How about ringing the dinner bell, sir?”
Never was the right man more entirely in the right place than Pedgift Junior at the picnic. In ten minutes more the boat was brought to a stand-still among the reeds; the Thorpe Ambrose hampers were unpacked on the roof of the cabin; and the current of the curate’s eloquence was checked for the day.
Never has the right guy been more perfectly in the right spot than Pedgift Junior at the picnic. In just ten minutes, the boat was brought to a stop among the reeds; the Thorpe Ambrose hampers were unpacked on the roof of the cabin; and the curate's flow of speech was paused for the day.
How inestimably important in its moral results—and therefore how praiseworthy in itself—is the act of eating and drinking! The social virtues center in the stomach. A man who is not a better husband, father, and brother after dinner than before is, digestively speaking, an incurably vicious man. What hidden charms of character disclose themselves, what dormant amiabilities awaken, when our common humanity gathers together to pour out the gastric juice! At the opening of the hampers from Thorpe Ambrose, sweet Sociability (offspring of the happy union of Civilization and Mrs. Gripper) exhaled among the boating party, and melted in one friendly fusion the discordant elements of which that party had hitherto been composed. Now did the Reverend Samuel Pentecost, whose light had hitherto been hidden under a bushel, prove at last that he could do something by proving that he could eat. Now did Pedgift Junior shine brighter than ever he had shone yet in gems of caustic humor and exquisite fertilities of resource. Now did the squire, and the squire’s charming guest, prove the triple connection between Champagne that sparkles, Love that grows bolder, and Eyes whose vocabulary is without the word No. Now did cheerful old times come back to the major’s memory, and cheerful old stories not told for years find their way to the major’s lips. And now did Mrs. Pentecost, coming out wakefully in the whole force of her estimable maternal character, seize on a supplementary fork, and ply that useful instrument incessantly between the choicest morsels in the whole round of dishes, and the few vacant places left available on the Reverend Samuel’s plate. “Don’t laugh at my son,” cried the old lady, observing the merriment which her proceedings produced among the company. “It’s my fault, poor dear—I make him eat!” And there are men in this world who, seeing virtues such as these developed at the table, as they are developed nowhere else, can, nevertheless, rank the glorious privilege of dining with the smallest of the diurnal personal worries which necessity imposes on mankind—with buttoning your waistcoat, for example, or lacing your stays! Trust no such monster as this with your tender secrets, your loves and hatreds, your hopes and fears. His heart is uncorrected by his stomach, and the social virtues are not in him.
How incredibly important, in terms of moral outcomes—and therefore how commendable in itself—is the act of eating and drinking! The social virtues revolve around the stomach. A man who isn’t a better husband, father, and brother after dinner than he was before is, in digestive terms, an incurably bad person. What hidden traits of character are revealed, what dormant friendliness comes to life, when our shared humanity comes together to enjoy a meal! When the baskets from Thorpe Ambrose are opened, sweet Sociability (the result of the happy blend of Civilization and Mrs. Gripper) fills the boating party and merges the previously discordant members into one friendly group. The Reverend Samuel Pentecost, whose talents had been hidden until now, finally showed that he could contribute by showing that he could eat. Pedgift Junior sparkled more than ever with sharp humor and incredible creativity. The squire and his charming guest demonstrated the undeniable connection between sparkling Champagne, Love that grows bolder, and Eyes that have no vocabulary word for No. Cheerful memories returned to the major, and happy old stories not told for years came to his lips. Meanwhile, Mrs. Pentecost, revealing her admirable maternal instincts, grabbed an extra fork and tirelessly used it to offer the finest bites from the array of dishes to the few empty spots left on the Reverend Samuel’s plate. “Don’t laugh at my son,” the old lady exclaimed, noticing the laughter her actions had sparked among the guests. “It’s my fault, poor dear—I make him eat!” And there are people in this world who, witnessing such virtues develop at the table, which are displayed nowhere else, can still consider the privilege of dining to be as trivial as the daily personal tasks that necessity imposes on mankind—like buttoning your waistcoat, for instance, or lacing your corset! Don’t trust such a monster with your most delicate secrets, your loves and hates, your hopes and fears. His heart isn’t influenced by his stomach, and he lacks the social virtues.
The last mellow hours of the day and the first cool breezes of the long summer evening had met before the dishes were all laid waste, and the bottles as empty as bottles should be. This point in the proceedings attained, the picnic party looked lazily at Pedgift Junior to know what was to be done next. That inexhaustible functionary was equal as ever to all the calls on him. He had a new amusement ready before the quickest of the company could so much as ask him what that amusement was to be.
The last warm hours of the day and the first cool breezes of the long summer evening had come together before the dishes were all cleared away and the bottles were as empty as they could be. At this point, the picnic group looked lazily at Pedgift Junior to see what would happen next. That ever-resourceful guy was ready as always for whatever was needed. He had a new activity prepared before anyone in the group could even ask what it was going to be.
“Fond of music on the water, Miss Milroy?” he asked, in his airiest and pleasantest manner.
“Do you enjoy music on the water, Miss Milroy?” he asked, in his lightest and most cheerful tone.
Miss Milroy adored music, both on the water and the land—always excepting the one case when she was practicing the art herself on the piano at home.
Miss Milroy loved music, whether on the water or on land—except for the time when she was playing the piano at home.
“We’ll get out of the reeds first,” said young Pedgift. He gave his orders to the boatmen, dived briskly into the little cabin, and reappeared with a concertina in his hand. “Neat, Miss Milroy, isn’t it?” he observed, pointing to his initials, inlaid on the instrument in mother-of-pearl. “My name’s Augustus, like my father’s. Some of my friends knock off the ‘A,’ and call me ‘Gustus Junior.’ A small joke goes a long way among friends, doesn’t it, Mr. Armadale? I sing a little to my own accompaniment, ladies and gentlemen; and, if quite agreeable, I shall be proud and happy to do my best.”
“We’ll get out of the reeds first,” said young Pedgift. He gave his orders to the boatmen, dove quickly into the small cabin, and came back with a concertina in his hand. “Nice, isn’t it, Miss Milroy?” he pointed out, indicating his initials inlaid on the instrument in mother-of-pearl. “My name’s Augustus, like my dad’s. Some of my friends drop the ‘A’ and call me ‘Gustus Junior.’ A little joke goes a long way among friends, right, Mr. Armadale? I sing a bit while playing, ladies and gentlemen; and, if you’re okay with it, I’d be proud and happy to do my best.”
“Stop!” cried Mrs. Pentecost; “I dote on music.”
“Stop!” shouted Mrs. Pentecost; “I really love music.”
With this formidable announcement, the old lady opened a prodigious leather bag, from which she never parted night or day, and took out an ear-trumpet of the old-fashioned kind—something between a key-bugle and a French horn. “I don’t care to use the thing generally,” explained Mrs. Pentecost, “because I’m afraid of its making me deafer than ever. But I can’t and won’t miss the music. I dote on music. If you’ll hold the other end, Sammy, I’ll stick it in my ear. Neelie, my dear, tell him to begin.”
With that impressive announcement, the old lady opened a huge leather bag that she never left behind, day or night, and pulled out an old-fashioned ear trumpet—something between a key bugle and a French horn. “I usually don’t like to use this thing,” Mrs. Pentecost explained, “because I’m worried it’ll make me even deafer. But I can’t and won’t miss the music. I love music. If you hold the other end, Sammy, I’ll put it in my ear. Neelie, my dear, tell him to start.”
Young Pedgift was troubled with no nervous hesitation. He began at once, not with songs of the light and modern kind, such as might have been expected from an amateur of his age and character, but with declamatory and patriotic bursts of poetry, set to the bold and blatant music which the people of England loved dearly at the earlier part of the present century, and which, whenever they can get it, they love dearly still. “The Death of Marmion,” “The Battle of the Baltic,” “The Bay of Biscay,” “Nelson,” under various vocal aspects, as exhibited by the late Braham—these were the songs in which the roaring concertina and strident tenor of Gustus Junior exulted together. “Tell me when you’re tired, ladies and gentlemen,” said the minstrel solicitor. “There’s no conceit about me. Will you have a little sentiment by way of variety? Shall I wind up with ‘The Mistletoe Bough’ and ‘Poor Mary Anne’?”
Young Pedgift was not at all nervous. He started right away, not with light and modern songs that you might expect from someone his age, but with dramatic and patriotic poetry, accompanied by the bold and loud music that the people of England loved earlier in this century, and that they still enjoy whenever they can. “The Death of Marmion,” “The Battle of the Baltic,” “The Bay of Biscay,” “Nelson,” in various vocal styles showcased by the late Braham—these were the songs that the loud concertina and strident tenor of Gustus Junior sang joyfully together. “Let me know when you’re tired, ladies and gentlemen,” said the minstrel solicitor. “There’s no arrogance about me. Would you like some sentimental variety? Should I wrap up with ‘The Mistletoe Bough’ and ‘Poor Mary Anne’?”
Having favored his audience with those two cheerful melodies, young Pedgift respectfully requested the rest of the company to follow his vocal example in turn, offering, in every case, to play “a running accompaniment” impromptu, if the singer would only be so obliging as to favor him with the key-note.
Having entertained his audience with those two cheerful tunes, young Pedgift politely asked the rest of the group to join in by singing as well, offering to play a spontaneous background accompaniment if each singer would just let him know the starting note.
“Go on, somebody!” cried Mrs. Pentecost, eagerly. “I tell you again, I dote on music. We haven’t had half enough yet, have we, Sammy?”
“Come on, someone!” Mrs. Pentecost exclaimed eagerly. “I’m telling you again, I love music. We haven't had nearly enough yet, have we, Sammy?”
The Reverend Samuel made no reply. The unhappy man had reasons of his own—not exactly in his bosom, but a little lower—for remaining silent, in the midst of the general hilarity and the general applause. Alas for humanity! Even maternal love is alloyed with mortal fallibility. Owing much already to his excellent mother, the Reverend Samuel was now additionally indebted to her for a smart indigestion.
The Reverend Samuel didn’t say anything. The troubled man had his own reasons—though not exactly in his heart, but a bit lower—for staying quiet while everyone else was laughing and clapping. Oh, the tragedy of being human! Even a mother's love comes with its flaws. After already benefiting a lot from his wonderful mother, the Reverend Samuel now also had to thank her for a bad case of indigestion.
Nobody, however, noticed as yet the signs and tokens of internal revolution in the curate’s face. Everybody was occupied in entreating everybody else to sing. Miss Milroy appealed to the founder of the feast. “Do sing something, Mr. Armadale,” she said; “I should so like to hear you!”
Nobody, however, had noticed the signs of inner turmoil on the curate’s face. Everyone was busy urging each other to sing. Miss Milroy turned to the host. “Please sing something, Mr. Armadale,” she said; “I would really love to hear you!”
“If you once begin, sir,” added the cheerful Pedgift, “you’ll find it get uncommonly easy as you go on. Music is a science which requires to be taken by the throat at starting.”
“If you start, sir,” added the cheerful Pedgift, “you’ll find it gets really easy as you go along. Music is a discipline that you need to tackle head-on from the beginning.”
“With all my heart,” said Allan, in his good-humored way. “I know lots of tunes, but the worst of it is, the words escape me. I wonder if I can remember one of Moore’s Melodies? My poor mother used to be fond of teaching me Moore’s Melodies when I was a boy.”
“With all my heart,” said Allan, with his cheerful attitude. “I know a lot of songs, but the problem is, I can’t remember the words. I wonder if I can recall one of Moore’s Melodies? My poor mom used to love teaching me those when I was a kid.”
“Whose melodies?” asked Mrs. Pentecost. “Moore’s? Aha! I know Tom Moore by heart.”
“Whose melodies?” asked Mrs. Pentecost. “Moore’s? Aha! I know Tom Moore by heart.”
“Perhaps in that case you will be good enough to help me, ma’am, if my memory breaks down,” rejoined Allan. “I’ll take the easiest melody in the whole collection, if you’ll allow me. Everybody knows it—‘Eveleen’s Bower.’”
“Maybe you could help me, ma’am, if my memory fails,” Allan replied. “I’ll choose the simplest melody from the whole collection, if that’s okay with you. Everyone knows it—‘Eveleen’s Bower.’”
“I’m familiar, in a general sort of way, with the national melodies of England, Scotland, and Ireland,” said Pedgift Junior. “I’ll accompany you, sir, with the greatest pleasure. This is the sort of thing, I think.” He seated himself cross-legged on the roof of the cabin, and burst into a complicated musical improvisation wonderful to hear—a mixture of instrumental flourishes and groans; a jig corrected by a dirge, and a dirge enlivened by a jig. “That’s the sort of thing,” said young Pedgift, with his smile of supreme confidence. “Fire away, sir!”
“I have a general knowledge of the national songs from England, Scotland, and Ireland,” said Pedgift Junior. “I’d be happy to accompany you, sir. This is the kind of thing, I believe.” He sat cross-legged on the roof of the cabin and launched into a complex musical improvisation that was amazing to hear—a blend of instrumental flourishes and groans; a jig mixed with a dirge, and a dirge sprinkled with a jig. “That’s the kind of thing,” said young Pedgift, wearing his smile of complete confidence. “Go ahead, sir!”
Mrs. Pentecost elevated her trumpet, and Allan elevated his voice. “Oh, weep for the hour when to Eveleen’s Bower—” He stopped; the accompaniment stopped; the audience waited. “It’s a most extraordinary thing,” said Allan; “I thought I had the next line on the tip of my tongue, and it seems to have escaped me. I’ll begin again, if you have no objection. ‘Oh, weep for the hour when to Eveleen’s Bower—‘”
Mrs. Pentecost raised her trumpet, and Allan raised his voice. “Oh, weep for the hour when to Eveleen’s Bower—” He paused; the music stopped; the audience held their breath. “It’s really unusual,” said Allan; “I thought I had the next line ready, and it seems to have slipped my mind. I’ll start over, if that’s okay with you. ‘Oh, weep for the hour when to Eveleen’s Bower—‘”
“‘The lord of the valley with false vows came,’” said Mrs. Pentecost.
“‘The lord of the valley with empty promises came,’” said Mrs. Pentecost.
“Thank you, ma’am,” said Allan. “Now I shall get on smoothly. ‘Oh, weep for the hour when to Eveleen’s Bower, the lord of the valley with false vows came. The moon was shining bright—‘”
“Thank you, ma’am,” said Allan. “Now I’ll get on just fine. ‘Oh, weep for the hour when to Eveleen’s Bower, the lord of the valley with false vows came. The moon was shining bright—‘”
“No!” said Mrs. Pentecost.
“No!” said Mrs. Pentecost.
“I beg your pardon, ma’am,” remonstrated Allan. “‘The moon was shining bright—‘”
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” protested Allan. “‘The moon was shining bright—‘”
“The moon wasn’t doing anything of the kind,” said Mrs. Pentecost.
“The moon wasn’t doing anything like that,” said Mrs. Pentecost.
Pedgift Junior, foreseeing a dispute, persevered sotto voce with the accompaniment, in the interests of harmony.
Pedgift Junior, anticipating a disagreement, quietly continued with the accompaniment to keep things harmonious.
“Moore’s own words, ma’am,” said Allan, “in my mother’s copy of the Melodies.”
“Moore’s own words, ma'am,” Allan said, “in my mother’s copy of the Melodies.”
“Your mother’s copy was wrong,” retorted Mrs. Pentecost. “Didn’t I tell you just now that I knew Tom Moore by heart?”
“Your mom's version was wrong,” snapped Mrs. Pentecost. “Didn’t I just tell you that I know Tom Moore by heart?”
Pedgift Junior’s peace-making concertina still flourished and groaned in the minor key.
Pedgift Junior’s peace-making concertina still thrived and creaked in the minor key.
“Well, what did the moon do?” asked Allan, in despair.
“Well, what did the moon do?” Allan asked, feeling hopeless.
“What the moon ought to have done, sir, or Tom Moore wouldn’t have written it so,” rejoined Mrs. Pentecost. “‘The moon hid her light from the heaven that night, and wept behind her clouds o’er the maiden’s shame!’ I wish that young man would leave off playing,” added Mrs. Pentecost, venting her rising irritation on Gustus Junior. “I’ve had enough of him—he tickles my ears.”
“What the moon should have done, sir, or Tom Moore wouldn’t have written it that way,” replied Mrs. Pentecost. “‘The moon hid her light from the sky that night, and wept behind her clouds over the maiden’s shame!’ I wish that young man would stop playing,” Mrs. Pentecost added, letting her growing irritation out on Gustus Junior. “I’ve had enough of him—he’s driving me crazy.”
“Proud, I’m sure, ma’am,” said the unblushing Pedgift. “The whole science of music consists in tickling the ears.”
“Proud, I’m sure, ma’am,” said the unabashed Pedgift. “The entire science of music is all about pleasing the ears.”
“We seem to be drifting into a sort of argument,” remarked Major Milroy, placidly. “Wouldn’t it be better if Mr. Armadale went on with his song?”
“We seem to be drifting into an argument,” Major Milroy said calmly. “Wouldn’t it be better if Mr. Armadale continued with his song?”
“Do go on, Mr. Armadale!” added the major’s daughter. “Do go on, Mr. Pedgift!”
“Please continue, Mr. Armadale!” added the major’s daughter. “Please continue, Mr. Pedgift!”
“One of them doesn’t know the words, and the other doesn’t know the music,” said Mrs. Pentecost. “Let them go on if they can!”
“One of them doesn’t know the words, and the other doesn’t know the music,” said Mrs. Pentecost. “Let them keep going if they can!”
“Sorry to disappoint you, ma’am,” said Pedgift Junior; “I’m ready to go on myself to any extent. Now, Mr. Armadale!”
“Sorry to let you down, ma’am,” said Pedgift Junior; “I’m prepared to go as far as needed. Now, Mr. Armadale!”
Allan opened his lips to take up the unfinished melody where he had last left it. Before he could utter a note, the curate suddenly rose, with a ghastly face, and a hand pressed convulsively over the middle region of his waistcoat.
Allan opened his mouth to continue the unfinished melody from where he had last stopped. Before he could sing a note, the curate abruptly stood up, looking pale and with a hand pressed tightly over the middle of his waistcoat.
“What’s the matter?” cried the whole boating party in chorus.
“What’s wrong?” shouted the whole boating group together.
“I am exceedingly unwell,” said the Reverend Samuel Pentecost. The boat was instantly in a state of confusion. “Eveleen’s Bower” expired on Allan’s lips, and even the irrepressible concertina of Pedgift was silenced at last. The alarm proved to be quite needless. Mrs. Pentecost’s son possessed a mother, and that mother had a bag. In two seconds the art of medicine occupied the place left vacant in the attention of the company by the art of music.
“I feel really sick,” said Reverend Samuel Pentecost. The boat was immediately thrown into chaos. “Eveleen’s Bower” faded from Allan’s lips, and even Pedgift's unstoppable concertina fell silent at last. The panic turned out to be completely unnecessary. Mrs. Pentecost’s son had a mother, and that mother had a bag. Within two seconds, the practice of medicine took over the attention of the group, replacing the practice of music.
“Rub it gently, Sammy,” said Mrs. Pentecost. “I’ll get out the bottles and give you a dose. It’s his poor stomach, major. Hold my trumpet, somebody—and stop the boat. You take that bottle, Neelie, my dear; and you take this one, Mr. Armadale; and give them to me as I want them. Ah, poor dear, I know what’s the matter with him! Want of power here, major—cold, acid, and flabby. Ginger to warm him; soda to correct him; sal volatile to hold him up. There, Sammy! drink it before it settles; and then go and lie down, my dear, in that dog-kennel of a place they call the cabin. No more music!” added Mrs. Pentecost, shaking her forefinger at the proprietor of the concertina—“unless it’s a hymn, and that I don’t object to.”
“Rub it gently, Sammy,” said Mrs. Pentecost. “I’ll get the bottles and give you a dose. It’s his poor stomach, major. Hold my trumpet, someone—and stop the boat. You take that bottle, Neelie, sweetheart; and you take this one, Mr. Armadale; and hand them to me as I need them. Ah, poor thing, I know what’s wrong with him! It’s a lack of strength here, major—cold, acid, and weak. Ginger to warm him up; soda to balance him; sal volatile to lift him. There, Sammy! drink it before it settles; and then go lie down, my dear, in that dog-kennel of a space they call the cabin. No more music!” added Mrs. Pentecost, shaking her finger at the owner of the concertina—“unless it’s a hymn, and I don’t mind that.”
Nobody appearing to be in a fit frame of mind for singing a hymn, the all-accomplished Pedgift drew upon his stores of local knowledge, and produced a new idea. The course of the boat was immediately changed under his direction. In a few minutes more, the company found themselves in a little island creek, with a lonely cottage at the far end of it, and a perfect forest of reeds closing the view all round them. “What do you say, ladies and gentlemen, to stepping on shore and seeing what a reed-cutter’s cottage looks like?” suggested young Pedgift.
Nobody seemed in the mood for singing a hymn, so the talented Pedgift tapped into his local knowledge and came up with a new idea. The boat's course was immediately shifted under his guidance. A few minutes later, the group found themselves in a small island creek, with a solitary cottage at the far end and a dense forest of reeds surrounding them. “What do you think, ladies and gentlemen, about getting off the boat and checking out what a reed-cutter’s cottage looks like?” suggested young Pedgift.
“We say yes, to be sure,” answered Allan. “I think our spirits have been a little dashed by Mr. Pentecost’s illness and Mrs. Pentecost’s bag,” he added, in a whisper to Miss Milroy. “A change of this sort is the very thing we want to set us all going again.”
“We definitely say yes,” Allan replied. “I think our spirits have been a bit low because of Mr. Pentecost’s illness and Mrs. Pentecost’s bag,” he added, whispering to Miss Milroy. “A change like this is exactly what we need to get us all back on track.”
He and young Pedgift handed Miss Milroy out of the boat. The major followed. Mrs. Pentecost sat immovable as the Egyptian Sphinx, with her bag on her knees, mounting guard over “Sammy” in the cabin.
He and young Pedgift helped Miss Milroy out of the boat. The major followed. Mrs. Pentecost sat still as the Egyptian Sphinx, with her bag on her knees, keeping watch over “Sammy” in the cabin.
“We must keep the fun going, sir,” said Allan, as he helped the major over the side of the boat. “We haven’t half done yet with the enjoyment of the day.”
“We have to keep the fun going, sir,” said Allan, as he helped the major over the side of the boat. “We’re not even close to being done with the enjoyment of the day.”
His voice seconded his hearty belief in his own prediction to such good purpose that even Mrs. Pentecost heard him, and ominously shook her head.
His voice strongly matched his confident belief in his own prediction so well that even Mrs. Pentecost heard him and shook her head ominously.
“Ah!” sighed the curate’s mother, “if you were as old as I am, young gentleman, you wouldn’t feel quite so sure of the enjoyment of the day!”
“Ah!” sighed the curate’s mother, “if you were as old as I am, young man, you wouldn’t be so confident about enjoying the day!”
So, in rebuke of the rashness of youth, spoke the caution of age. The negative view is notoriously the safe view, all the world over, and the Pentecost philosophy is, as a necessary consequence, generally in the right.
So, in response to the impulsiveness of youth, the wisdom of age spoke up. The cautious perspective is well-known as the safe perspective everywhere, and the Pentecost philosophy is, as a result, usually correct.
IX. FATE OR CHANCE?
It was close on six o’clock when Allan and his friends left the boat, and the evening influence was creeping already, in its mystery and its stillness, over the watery solitude of the Broads.
It was nearly six o’clock when Allan and his friends got off the boat, and the evening vibe was already creeping in, with its mystery and calmness, over the quiet emptiness of the Broads.
The shore in these wild regions was not like the shore elsewhere. Firm as it looked, the garden ground in front of the reed-cutter’s cottage was floating ground, that rose and fell and oozed into puddles under the pressure of the foot. The boatmen who guided the visitors warned them to keep to the path, and pointed through gaps in the reeds and pollards to grassy places, on which strangers would have walked confidently, where the crust of earth was not strong enough to bear the weight of a child over the unfathomed depths of slime and water beneath. The solitary cottage, built of planks pitched black, stood on ground that had been steadied and strengthened by resting it on piles. A little wooden tower rose at one end of the roof, and served as a lookout post in the fowling season. From this elevation the eye ranged far and wide over a wilderness of winding water and lonesome marsh. If the reed-cutter had lost his boat, he would have been as completely isolated from all communication with town or village as if his place of abode had been a light-vessel instead of a cottage. Neither he nor his family complained of their solitude, or looked in any way the rougher or the worse for it. His wife received the visitors hospitably, in a snug little room, with a raftered ceiling, and windows which looked like windows in a cabin on board ship. His wife’s father told stories of the famous days when the smugglers came up from the sea at night, rowing through the net-work of rivers with muffled oars till they gained the lonely Broads, and sank their spirit casks in the water, far from the coast-guard’s reach. His wild little children played at hide-and-seek with the visitors; and the visitors ranged in and out of the cottage, and round and round the morsel of firm earth on which it stood, surprised and delighted by the novelty of all they saw. The one person who noticed the advance of the evening—the one person who thought of the flying time and the stationary Pentecosts in the boat—was young Pedgift. That experienced pilot of the Broads looked askance at his watch, and drew Allan aside at the first opportunity.
The shore in these wild areas wasn’t like the shore anywhere else. As solid as it seemed, the garden area in front of the reed-cutter’s cottage was actually unstable ground that rose and fell, forming puddles when stepped on. The boatmen guiding the visitors warned them to stick to the path and pointed through openings in the reeds and willows to grassy spots where outsiders might confidently walk, not realizing the earth's surface couldn’t support even a child over the unseen depths of mud and water below. The solitary cottage, made of pitch-black planks, was built on sturdy piles for stability. A small wooden tower rose at one end of the roof, acting as a lookout during hunting season. From this height, one could see far across the winding waterways and lonely marshes. If the reed-cutter had lost his boat, he would have been completely cut off from all contact with town or village, as if he lived on a lightship instead of in a cottage. Neither he nor his family complained about their isolation, nor did they seem any rougher or worse for it. His wife welcomed visitors warmly in a cozy little room with a ceiling of exposed beams and windows that resembled those of a ship's cabin. Her father shared stories of the famous days when smugglers would come up from the sea at night, quietly paddling through the network of rivers until they reached the secluded Broads, where they would sink their barrels far from the coast-guard’s reach. His wild little children played hide-and-seek with the guests, who explored the cottage and the small patch of solid ground it sat on, amazed and delighted by the uniqueness of it all. The only person who noticed the approach of evening—the only one who thought about the passing time and the stillness of the Pentecosts in the boat—was young Pedgift. That seasoned pilot of the Broads glanced at his watch and pulled Allan aside at the first chance he got.
“I don’t wish to hurry you, Mr. Armadale,” said Pedgift Junior; “but the time is getting on, and there’s a lady in the case.”
“I don’t want to rush you, Mr. Armadale,” said Pedgift Junior; “but time is running out, and there’s a lady involved.”
“A lady?” repeated Allan.
“A woman?” repeated Allan.
“Yes, sir,” rejoined young Pedgift. “A lady from London; connected (if you’ll allow me to jog your memory) with a pony-chaise and white harness.”
“Yes, sir,” replied young Pedgift. “A lady from London; related (if you’ll let me remind you) to a pony carriage and white harness.”
“Good heavens, the governess!” cried Allan. “Why, we have forgotten all about her!”
“Good grief, the governess!” Allan exclaimed. “We totally forgot about her!”
“Don’t be alarmed, sir; there’s plenty of time, if we only get into the boat again. This is how it stands, Mr. Armadale. We settled, if you remember, to have the gypsy tea-making at the next ‘Broad’ to this—Hurle Mere?”
“Don’t worry, sir; there’s plenty of time, as long as we get back in the boat. Here’s the situation, Mr. Armadale. We agreed, if you recall, to have the gypsy tea-making at the next ‘Broad’ after this—Hurle Mere?”
“Certainly,” said Allan. “Hurle Mere is the place where my friend Midwinter has promised to come and meet us.”
“Of course,” Allan said. “Hurle Mere is where my friend Midwinter promised to come and meet us.”
“Hurle Mere is where the governess will be, sir, if your coachman follows my directions,” pursued young Pedgift. “We have got nearly an hour’s punting to do, along the twists and turns of the narrow waters (which they call The Sounds here) between this and Hurle Mere; and according to my calculations we must get on board again in five minutes, if we are to be in time to meet the governess and to meet your friend.”
“Hurle Mere is where the governess will be, sir, if your driver follows my instructions,” continued young Pedgift. “We have about an hour of paddling to do along the twists and turns of the narrow waterways (which they call The Sounds here) between this place and Hurle Mere; and based on my calculations, we need to get back on board in five minutes if we want to be on time to meet the governess and your friend.”
“We mustn’t miss my friend on any account,” said Allan; “or the governess, either, of course. I’ll tell the major.”
“We can't miss my friend for any reason,” said Allan; “or the governess, of course. I’ll let the major know.”
Major Milroy was at that moment preparing to mount the wooden watch-tower of the cottage to see the view. The ever useful Pedgift volunteered to go up with him, and rattle off all the necessary local explanations in half the time which the reed-cutter would occupy in describing his own neighborhood to a stranger.
Major Milroy was just about to climb the wooden watchtower of the cottage to take in the view. The always helpful Pedgift offered to go up with him and quickly provide all the important local details in half the time it would take the reed-cutter to explain his neighborhood to someone new.
Allan remained standing in front of the cottage, more quiet and more thoughtful than usual. His interview with young Pedgift had brought his absent friend to his memory for the first time since the picnic party had started. He was surprised that Midwinter, so much in his thoughts on all other occasions, should have been so long out of his thoughts now. Something troubled him, like a sense of self-reproach, as his mind reverted to the faithful friend at home, toiling hard over the steward’s books, in his interests and for his sake. “Dear old fellow,” thought Allan, “I shall be so glad to see him at the Mere; the day’s pleasure won’t be complete till he joins us!”
Allan stood in front of the cottage, quieter and more reflective than usual. His conversation with young Pedgift had reminded him of his absent friend for the first time since the picnic party began. He was surprised that Midwinter, who usually occupied his thoughts so much, hadn’t crossed his mind in a while. Something weighed on him, like a feeling of guilt, as he thought about his loyal friend back home, working hard on the steward’s books, for his benefit and well-being. “Dear old buddy,” Allan thought, “I can’t wait to see him at the Mere; the day won’t feel complete until he’s with us!”
“Should I be right or wrong, Mr. Armadale, if I guessed that you were thinking of somebody?” asked a voice, softly, behind him.
“Am I right or wrong, Mr. Armadale, if I guess that you were thinking about someone?” a voice asked gently from behind him.
Allan turned, and found the major’s daughter at his side. Miss Milroy (not unmindful of a certain tender interview which had taken place behind a carriage) had noticed her admirer standing thoughtfully by himself, and had determined on giving him another opportunity, while her father and young Pedgift were at the top of the watch-tower.
Allan turned and saw the major's daughter beside him. Miss Milroy, aware of a certain affectionate moment they had shared behind a carriage, noticed her admirer standing alone and decided to give him another chance while her father and young Pedgift were at the top of the watchtower.
“You know everything,” said Allan, smiling. “I was thinking of somebody.”
“You know everything,” Allan said with a smile. “I was thinking about someone.”
Miss Milroy stole a glance at him—a glance of gentle encouragement. There could be but one human creature in Mr. Armadale’s mind after what had passed between them that morning! It would be only an act of mercy to take him back again at once to the interrupted conversation of a few hours since on the subject of names.
Miss Milroy cast a quick look at him—a look of gentle encouragement. There could be only one person in Mr. Armadale’s mind after what had happened between them that morning! It would be a kind gesture to bring him back right away to the conversation they had interrupted a few hours ago about names.
“I have been thinking of somebody, too,” she said, half-inviting, half-repelling the coming avowal. “If I tell you the first letter of my Somebody’s name, will you tell me the first letter of yours?”
“I’ve been thinking about someone, too,” she said, half-inviting, half-rejecting the forthcoming confession. “If I tell you the first letter of my someone's name, will you tell me the first letter of yours?”
“I will tell you anything you like,” rejoined Allan, with the utmost enthusiasm.
“I'll tell you anything you want,” Allan replied, full of enthusiasm.
She still shrank coquettishly from the very subject that she wanted to approach. “Tell me your letter first,” she said, in low tones, looking away from him.
She still hesitated playfully about the very topic she wanted to discuss. “Tell me what your letter says first,” she said softly, not meeting his gaze.
Allan laughed. “M,” he said, “is my first letter.”
Allan laughed. “M,” he said, “is my first letter.”
She started a little. Strange that he should be thinking of her by her surname instead of her Christian name; but it mattered little as long as he was thinking of her.
She was a bit surprised. It was odd that he was thinking of her by her last name instead of her first name; but it didn’t really matter as long as he was thinking of her.
“What is your letter?” asked Allan.
“What’s your letter?” Allan asked.
She blushed and smiled. “A—if you will have it!” she answered, in a reluctant little whisper. She stole another look at him, and luxuriously protracted her enjoyment of the coming avowal once more. “How many syllables is the name in?” she asked, drawing patterns shyly on the ground with the end of the parasol.
She blushed and smiled. “Um—if you really want to!” she replied, in a hesitant little whisper. She took another glance at him, savoring her anticipation of the upcoming confession once again. “How many syllables is the name?” she asked, shyly drawing patterns on the ground with the tip of the parasol.
No man with the slightest knowledge of the sex would have been rash enough, in Allan’s position, to tell her the truth. Allan, who knew nothing whatever of woman’s natures, and who told the truth right and left in all mortal emergencies, answered as if he had been under examination in a court of justice.
No man with even a little understanding of women would have been foolish enough, in Allan’s situation, to tell her the truth. Allan, who knew nothing about women’s nature and always spoke the truth in every mortal crisis, responded as if he were being questioned in a courtroom.
“It’s a name in three syllables,” he said.
“It’s a three-syllable name,” he said.
Miss Milroy’s downcast eyes flashed up at him like lightning. “Three!” she repeated in the blankest astonishment.
Miss Milroy’s sad eyes shot up at him like lightning. “Three!” she repeated in complete shock.
Allan was too inveterately straightforward to take the warning even now. “I’m not strong at my spelling, I know,” he said, with his lighthearted laugh. “But I don’t think I’m wrong, in calling Midwinter a name in three syllables. I was thinking of my friend; but never mind my thoughts. Tell me who A is—tell me whom you were thinking of?”
Allan was too stubbornly honest to heed the warning even now. “I'm not great at spelling, I know,” he said with a cheerful laugh. “But I don’t think I’m mistaken in calling Midwinter a name with three syllables. I was thinking of my friend; but forget my thoughts. Tell me who A is—tell me who you were thinking of?”
“Of the first letter of the alphabet, Mr. Armadale, and I beg positively to inform you of nothing more!”
“About the first letter of the alphabet, Mr. Armadale, I must insist that I have nothing more to share!”
With that annihilating answer the major’s daughter put up her parasol and walked back by herself to the boat.
With that crushing response, the major’s daughter lifted her parasol and walked back to the boat alone.
Allan stood petrified with amazement. If Miss Milroy had actually boxed his ears (and there is no denying that she had privately longed to devote her hand to that purpose), he could hardly have felt more bewildered than he felt now. “What on earth have I done?” he asked himself, helplessly, as the major and young Pedgift joined him, and the three walked down together to the water-side. “I wonder what she’ll say to me next?”
Allan stood frozen in shock. If Miss Milroy had really slapped him (and it’s clear she had secretly wished to do just that), he couldn’t have felt more confused than he did right now. “What on earth have I done?” he wondered helplessly as the major and young Pedgift caught up with him, and the three of them walked down to the water together. “I wonder what she’ll say to me next?”
She said absolutely nothing; she never so much as looked at Allan when he took his place in the boat. There she sat, with her eyes and her complexion both much brighter than usual, taking the deepest interest in the curate’s progress toward recovery; in the state of Mrs. Pentecost’s spirits; in Pedgift Junior (for whom she ostentatiously made room enough to let him sit beside her); in the scenery and the reed-cutter’s cottage; in everybody and everything but Allan—whom she would have married with the greatest pleasure five minutes since. “I’ll never forgive him,” thought the major’s daughter. “To be thinking of that ill-bred wretch when I was thinking of him; and to make me all but confess it before I found him out! Thank Heaven, Mr. Pedgift is in the boat!”
She didn't say a word; she didn't even glance at Allan when he took his seat in the boat. There she was, with her eyes and complexion much brighter than usual, showing keen interest in the curate's recovery, Mrs. Pentecost's mood, and Pedgift Junior (who she clearly made space for to sit beside her); in the scenery and the reed-cutter's cottage; in everyone and everything except Allan—whom she would have gladly married just a few minutes ago. “I’ll never forgive him,” thought the major's daughter. “To be thinking about that rude guy when I was focused on him; and to make me almost admit it before I figured him out! Thank goodness Mr. Pedgift is in the boat!”
In this frame of mind Miss Neelie applied herself forthwith to the fascination of Pedgift and the discomfiture of Allan. “Oh, Mr. Pedgift, how extremely clever and kind of you to think of showing us that sweet cottage! Lonely, Mr. Armadale? I don’t think it’s lonely at all; I should like of all things to live there. What would this picnic have been without you, Mr. Pedgift; you can’t think how I have enjoyed it since we got into the boat. Cool, Mr. Armadale? What can you possibly mean by saying it’s cool; it’s the warmest evening we’ve had this summer. And the music, Mr. Pedgift; how nice it was of you to bring your concertina! I wonder if I could accompany you on the piano? I would so like to try. Oh, yes, Mr. Armadale, no doubt you meant to do something musical, too, and I dare say you sing very well when you know the words; but, to tell you the truth, I always did, and always shall, hate Moore’s Melodies!”
In this frame of mind, Miss Neelie immediately focused on the charm of Pedgift and the discomfort of Allan. “Oh, Mr. Pedgift, how incredibly clever and kind of you to think of showing us that lovely cottage! Lonely, Mr. Armadale? I don’t think it’s lonely at all; I would absolutely love to live there. What would this picnic have been without you, Mr. Pedgift? You can’t imagine how much I’ve enjoyed it since we got into the boat. Cool, Mr. Armadale? What do you mean by saying it’s cool? It’s the warmest evening we’ve had all summer. And the music, Mr. Pedgift; how nice of you to bring your concertina! I wonder if I could play along with you on the piano? I’d really like to try. Oh, yes, Mr. Armadale, I’m sure you meant to do something musical too, and I bet you sing very well when you know the words; but to be honest, I have always hated Moore’s Melodies, and I always will!”
Thus, with merciless dexterity of manipulation, did Miss Milroy work that sharpest female weapon of offense, the tongue; and thus she would have used it for some time longer, if Allan had only shown the necessary jealousy, or if Pedgift had only afforded the necessary encouragement. But adverse fortune had decreed that she should select for her victims two men essentially unassailable under existing circumstances. Allan was too innocent of all knowledge of female subtleties and susceptibilities to understand anything, except that the charming Neelie was unreasonably out of temper with him without the slightest cause. The wary Pedgift, as became one of the quick-witted youth of the present generation, submitted to female influence, with his eye fixed immovably all the time on his own interests. Many a young man of the past generation, who was no fool, has sacrificed everything for love. Not one young man in ten thousand of the present generation, except the fools, has sacrificed a half-penny. The daughters of Eve still inherit their mother’s merits and commit their mother’s faults. But the sons of Adam, in these latter days, are men who would have handed the famous apple back with a bow, and a “Thanks, no; it might get me into a scrape.” When Allan—surprised and disappointed—moved away out of Miss Milroy’s reach to the forward part of the boat, Pedgift Junior rose and followed him. “You’re a very nice girl,” thought this shrewdly sensible young man; “but a client’s a client; and I am sorry to inform you, miss, it won’t do.” He set himself at once to rouse Allan’s spirits by diverting his attention to a new subject. There was to be a regatta that autumn on one of the Broads, and his client’s opinion as a yachtsman might be valuable to the committee. “Something new, I should think, to you, sir, in a sailing match on fresh water?” he said, in his most ingratiatory manner. And Allan, instantly interested, answered, “Quite new. Do tell me about it!”
Thus, with ruthless skill in manipulation, Miss Milroy used her sharpest weapon, the tongue; and she would have continued to do so for a while longer if Allan had only shown the needed jealousy, or if Pedgift had only provided the necessary encouragement. But fate determined that she should choose two men who were basically untouchable in the current situation. Allan was too innocent of any understanding of female nuances and emotions to grasp anything, except that the lovely Neelie was unreasonably upset with him for no apparent reason. The cautious Pedgift, like many sharp-witted young people today, went along with female influence while keeping his focus squarely on his own interests. Many young men from the previous generation, who weren't fools, sacrificed everything for love. Not one young man in ten thousand today, except for the fools, has given up a dime. The daughters of Eve still inherit their mother’s qualities and repeat their mother’s mistakes. But today’s sons of Adam would politely hand back the famous apple with a bow and say, “No thanks; that could get me into trouble.” When Allan—surprised and disappointed—moved away from Miss Milroy to the front of the boat, Pedgift Jr. got up and followed him. “You’re a nice girl,” this shrewd young man thought; “but a client’s a client; and I’m sorry to say, miss, it won’t work.” He immediately set out to lift Allan’s spirits by changing the subject. There was going to be a regatta that autumn on one of the Broads, and his client’s opinion as a yachtsman could be valuable to the committee. “I imagine this is something new for you, sir, a sailing match on fresh water?” he said in his most charming way. And Allan, immediately interested, replied, “Completely new. Please, tell me about it!”
As for the rest of the party at the other end of the boat, they were in a fair way to confirm Mrs. Pentecost’s doubts whether the hilarity of the picnic would last the day out. Poor Neelie’s natural feeling of irritation under the disappointment which Allan’s awkwardness had inflicted on her was now exasperated into silent and settled resentment by her own keen sense of humiliation and defeat. The major had relapsed into his habitually dreamy, absent manner; his mind was turning monotonously with the wheels of his clock. The curate still secluded his indigestion from public view in the innermost recesses of the cabin; and the curate’s mother, with a second dose ready at a moment’s notice, sat on guard at the door. Women of Mrs. Pentecost’s age and character generally enjoy their own bad spirits. “This,” sighed the old lady, wagging her head with a smile of sour satisfaction “is what you call a day’s pleasure, is it? Ah, what fools we all were to leave our comfortable homes!”
As for the rest of the group at the far end of the boat, they were pretty much confirming Mrs. Pentecost’s concerns about whether the fun of the picnic would last all day. Poor Neelie’s natural irritation from Allan’s awkwardness had turned into a deep, silent resentment due to her strong feelings of humiliation and defeat. The major had fallen back into his usual dreamy, distracted state; his mind was ticking away like the wheels of his clock. The curate was still keeping his indigestion hidden from everyone in the most private part of the cabin, while his mother, ready with a second dose at any moment, stood guard at the door. Women like Mrs. Pentecost, of her age and personality, often take pleasure in their own bad moods. “This,” sighed the old lady, shaking her head with a smile of sour satisfaction, “is what you call a day’s fun, huh? Ah, how foolish we all were to leave our comfy homes!”
Meanwhile the boat floated smoothly along the windings of the watery labyrinth which lay between the two Broads. The view on either side was now limited to nothing but interminable rows of reeds. Not a sound was heard, far or near; not so much as a glimpse of cultivated or inhabited land appeared anywhere. “A trifle dreary hereabouts, Mr. Armadale,” said the ever-cheerful Pedgift. “But we are just out of it now. Look ahead, sir! Here we are at Hurle Mere.”
Meanwhile, the boat glided easily through the twisting waterways that lay between the two Broads. The view on both sides was now just endless rows of reeds. No sounds were heard, near or far; not a sign of farmland or houses was anywhere to be seen. “A bit gloomy around here, Mr. Armadale,” said the always cheerful Pedgift. “But we’re almost past it now. Look ahead, sir! Here we are at Hurle Mere.”
The reeds opened back on the right hand and the left, and the boat glided suddenly into the wide circle of a pool. Round the nearer half of the circle, the eternal reeds still fringed the margin of the water. Round the further half, the land appeared again, here rolling back from the pool in desolate sand-hills, there rising above it in a sweep of grassy shore. At one point the ground was occupied by a plantation, and at another by the out-buildings of a lonely old red brick house, with a strip of by-road near, that skirted the garden wall and ended at the pool. The sun was sinking in the clear heaven, and the water, where the sun’s reflection failed to tinge it, was beginning to look black and cold. The solitude that had been soothing, the silence that had felt like an enchantment, on the other Broad, in the day’s vigorous prime, was a solitude that saddened here—a silence that struck cold, in the stillness and melancholy of the day’s decline.
The reeds opened on both the right and left, and the boat smoothly slipped into the wide circle of a pool. Around the closer half of the circle, the ever-present reeds still lined the water’s edge. On the further half, the land reappeared, with some areas rolling back from the pool into barren sand hills, while others rose above it with stretches of grassy shore. At one spot, there was a grove of trees, and at another, the outbuildings of a lonely old red brick house, with a narrow side road running alongside the garden wall and leading to the pool. The sun was setting in the clear sky, and the water, where the sunlight didn’t reach, was starting to look dark and cold. The solitude that had once been comforting, the silence that had felt magical earlier in the day, now felt sad here—a silence that felt chilling in the stillness and gloom of the day's end.
The course of the boat was directed across the Mere to a creek in the grassy shore. One or two of the little flat-bottomed punts peculiar to the Broads lay in the creek; and the reed cutters to whom the punts belonged, surprised at the appearance of strangers, came out, staring silently, from behind an angle of the old garden wall. Not another sign of life was visible anywhere. No pony-chaise had been seen by the reed cutters; no stranger, either man or woman, had approached the shores of Hurle Mere that day.
The boat headed across the Mere toward a creek on the grassy shore. One or two of the small flat-bottomed boats typical of the Broads were in the creek; the reed cutters who owned the boats were surprised to see strangers and came out, staring silently, from behind a corner of the old garden wall. There was no other sign of life anywhere. The reed cutters hadn’t seen any pony-chaise; no stranger, whether man or woman, had come near the shores of Hurle Mere that day.
Young Pedgift took another look at his watch, and addressed himself to Miss Milroy. “You may, or may not, see the governess when you get back to Thorpe Ambrose,” he said; “but, as the time stands now, you won’t see her here. You know best, Mr. Armadale,” he added, turning to Allan, “whether your friend is to be depended on to keep his appointment?”
Young Pedgift glanced at his watch again and spoke to Miss Milroy. “You might or might not see the governess when you return to Thorpe Ambrose,” he said. “But as it stands now, you won’t see her here. You know best, Mr. Armadale,” he continued, turning to Allan, “whether your friend can be relied on to keep his appointment?”
“I am certain he is to be depended on,” replied Allan, looking about him—in unconcealed disappointment at Midwinter’s absence.
“I’m sure he can be relied on,” Allan replied, looking around—clearly disappointed by Midwinter’s absence.
“Very good,” pursued Pedgift Junior. “If we light the fire for our gypsy tea-making on the open ground there, your friend may find us out, sir, by the smoke. That’s the Indian dodge for picking up a lost man on the prairie, Miss Milroy and it’s pretty nearly wild enough (isn’t it?) to be a prairie here!”
“Sounds great,” said Pedgift Junior. “If we start a fire for our gypsy tea-making out in the open there, your friend might spot us by the smoke. That’s the Indian trick for locating a lost person on the prairie, Miss Milroy, and it’s almost wild enough (isn’t it?) to be a prairie here!”
There are some temptations—principally those of the smaller kind—which it is not in the defensive capacity of female human nature to resist. The temptation to direct the whole force of her influence, as the one young lady of the party, toward the instant overthrow of Allan’s arrangement for meeting his friend, was too much for the major’s daughter. She turned on the smiling Pedgift with a look which ought to have overwhelmed him. But who ever overwhelmed a solicitor?
There are certain temptations—mainly the smaller ones—that female human nature simply can't resist. The urge to use her influence, as the only young lady in the group, to instantly disrupt Allan's plans to meet his friend was too much for the major's daughter to handle. She shot a look at the smiling Pedgift that should have knocked him off balance. But who has ever really fazed a lawyer?
“I think it’s the most lonely, dreary, hideous place I ever saw in my life!” said Miss Neelie. “If you insist on making tea here, Mr. Pedgift, don’t make any for me. No! I shall stop in the boat; and, though I am absolutely dying with thirst, I shall touch nothing till we get back again to the other Broad!”
“I think it’s the most lonely, depressing, ugly place I’ve ever seen in my life!” said Miss Neelie. “If you’re going to make tea here, Mr. Pedgift, don’t make any for me. No! I’ll stay in the boat; and, even though I’m absolutely dying of thirst, I won’t touch anything until we get back to the other Broad!”
The major opened his lips to remonstrate. To his daughter’s infinite delight, Mrs. Pentecost rose from her seat before he could say a word, and, after surveying the whole landward prospect, and seeing nothing in the shape of a vehicle anywhere, asked indignantly whether they were going all the way back again to the place where they had left the carriages in the middle of the day. On ascertaining that this was, in fact, the arrangement proposed, and that, from the nature of the country, the carriages could not have been ordered round to Hurle Mere without, in the first instance, sending them the whole of the way back to Thorpe Ambrose, Mrs. Pentecost (speaking in her son’s interests) instantly declared that no earthly power should induce her to be out on the water after dark. “Call me a boat!” cried the old lady, in great agitation. “Wherever there’s water, there’s a night mist, and wherever there’s a night mist, my son Samuel catches cold. Don’t talk to me about your moonlight and your tea-making—you’re all mad! Hi! you two men there!” cried Mrs. Pentecost, hailing the silent reed cutters on shore. “Sixpence apiece for you, if you’ll take me and my son back in your boat!”
The major opened his mouth to object. To his daughter’s endless joy, Mrs. Pentecost got up from her seat before he could speak, and after looking over the entire landward view and not seeing any vehicles around, she asked angrily if they were really going to return to where they had left the carriages in the middle of the day. When she confirmed that this was the plan, and due to the terrain, the carriages couldn’t be summoned to Hurle Mere without first sending them all the way back to Thorpe Ambrose, Mrs. Pentecost (speaking for her son) immediately stated that nothing could persuade her to be out on the water after dark. “Call me a boat!” shouted the old lady, visibly upset. “Wherever there’s water, there’s a night mist, and wherever there’s a night mist, my son Samuel gets a cold. Don’t talk to me about your moonlight and your tea-making—you’re all crazy! Hey! You two men there!” shouted Mrs. Pentecost, calling out to the silent reed cutters on the shore. “Sixpence each if you’ll take me and my son back in your boat!”
Before young Pedgift could interfere, Allan himself settled the difficulty this time, with perfect patience and good temper.
Before young Pedgift could step in, Allan took care of the issue himself this time, with complete patience and a good attitude.
“I can’t think, Mrs. Pentecost, of your going back in any boat but the boat you have come out in,” he said. “There is not the least need (as you and Miss Milroy don’t like the place) for anybody to go on shore here but me. I must go on shore. My friend Midwinter never broke his promise to me yet; and I can’t consent to leave Hurle Mere as long as there is a chance of his keeping his appointment. But there’s not the least reason in the world why I should stand in the way on that account. You have the major and Mr. Pedgift to take care of you; and you can get back to the carriages before dark, if you go at once. I will wait here, and give my friend half an hour more, and then I can follow you in one of the reed-cutters’ boats.”
"I can't imagine, Mrs. Pentecost, you going back in any boat except the one you arrived in," he said. "There’s really no need for anyone to go ashore here except me, since you and Miss Milroy aren’t fond of the place. I have to go ashore. My friend Midwinter has never broken a promise to me, and I can't leave Hurle Mere while there’s still a chance he might show up. But there's no reason at all for me to hold you back because of that. You have the major and Mr. Pedgift to look after you, and you can get back to the carriages before it gets dark if you leave right away. I'll stay here and give my friend another half hour, and then I can follow you in one of the reed-cutters' boats."
“That’s the most sensible thing, Mr. Armadale, you’ve said to-day,” remarked Mrs. Pentecost, seating herself again in a violent hurry
“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said today, Mr. Armadale,” remarked Mrs. Pentecost, sitting down again in a rush.
“Tell them to be quick!” cried the old lady, shaking her fist at the boatmen. “Tell them to be quick!”
“Tell them to hurry!” shouted the old lady, shaking her fist at the boatmen. “Tell them to hurry!”
Allan gave the necessary directions, and stepped on shore. The wary Pedgift (sticking fast to his client) tried to follow.
Allan gave the necessary directions and stepped onto the shore. The cautious Pedgift (sticking close to his client) tried to follow.
“We can’t leave you here alone, sir,” he said, protesting eagerly in a whisper. “Let the major take care of the ladies, and let me keep you company at the Mere.”
“We can’t leave you here alone, sir,” he said, eagerly protesting in a whisper. “Let the major take care of the ladies, and let me keep you company at the Mere.”
“No, no!” said Allan, pressing him back. “They’re all in low spirits on board. If you want to be of service to me, stop like a good fellow where you are, and do your best to keep the thing going.”
“No, no!” said Allan, pushing him back. “Everyone on board is feeling down. If you really want to help me, please stay put like a good friend and do your best to keep things running.”
He waved his hand, and the men pushed the boat off from the shore. The others all waved their hands in return except the major’s daughter, who sat apart from the rest, with her face hidden under her parasol. The tears stood thick in Neelie’s eyes. Her last angry feeling against Allan died out, and her heart went back to him penitently the moment he left the boat. “How good he is to us all!” she thought, “and what a wretch I am!” She got up with every generous impulse in her nature urging her to make atonement to him. She got up, reckless of appearances and looked after him with eager eyes and flushed checks, as he stood alone on the shore. “Don’t be long, Mr. Armadale!” she said, with a desperate disregard of what the rest of the company thought of her.
He waved his hand, and the guys pushed the boat off from the shore. The others all waved back except for the major’s daughter, who sat apart from the rest, her face hidden under her parasol. Tears filled Neelie’s eyes. Her last angry feeling toward Allan faded away, and she felt regret as soon as he left the boat. “He’s so good to all of us!” she thought, “and what a terrible person I am!” She got up, feeling every generous impulse in her urging her to make things right with him. She stood, not caring about appearances, and looked after him with eager eyes and flushed cheeks as he stood alone on the shore. “Don’t take too long, Mr. Armadale!” she called out, not caring at all what the others thought of her.
The boat was already far out in the water, and with all Neelie’s resolution the words were spoken in a faint little voice, which failed to reach Allan’s ears. The one sound he heard, as the boat gained the opposite extremity of the Mere, and disappeared slowly among the reeds, was the sound of the concertina. The indefatigable Pedgift was keeping things going—evidently under the auspices of Mrs. Pentecost—by performing a sacred melody.
The boat was already far out on the water, and despite Neelie’s determination, her words came out as a soft whisper that didn’t reach Allan. The only sound he heard, as the boat made its way to the other side of the Mere and gradually disappeared among the reeds, was the music from the concertina. The tireless Pedgift was keeping the vibe alive—clearly with Mrs. Pentecost’s support—by playing a sacred tune.
Left by himself, Allan lit a cigar, and took a turn backward and forward on the shore. “She might have said a word to me at parting!” he thought. “I’ve done everything for the best; I’ve as good as told her how fond of her I am, and this is the way she treats me!” He stopped, and stood looking absently at the sinking sun, and the fast-darkening waters of the Mere. Some inscrutable influence in the scene forced its way stealthily into his mind, and diverted his thoughts from Miss Milroy to his absent friend. He started, and looked about him.
Left alone, Allan lit a cigar and paced back and forth on the shore. “She could have at least said something to me when we parted!” he thought. “I’ve done everything I could; I’ve practically told her how much I care about her, and this is how she treats me!” He stopped and stared blankly at the sinking sun and the quickly darkening waters of the Mere. Some mysterious influence in the scene crept into his mind and shifted his thoughts from Miss Milroy to his absent friend. He jumped and looked around.
The reed-cutters had gone back to their retreat behind the angle of the wall, not a living creature was visible, not a sound rose anywhere along the dreary shore. Even Allan’s spirits began to get depressed. It was nearly an hour after the time when Midwinter had promised to be at Hurle Mere. He had himself arranged to walk to the pool (with a stable-boy from Thorpe Ambrose as his guide), by lanes and footpaths which shortened the distance by the road. The boy knew the country well, and Midwinter was habitually punctual at all his appointments. Had anything gone wrong at Thorpe Ambrose? Had some accident happened on the way? Determined to remain no longer doubting and idling by himself, Allan made up his mind to walk inland from the Mere, on the chance of meeting his friend. He went round at once to the angle in the wall, and asked one of the reedcutters to show him the footpath to Thorpe Ambrose.
The reed-cutters had returned to their spot behind the corner of the wall, and there was no one in sight, no sounds anywhere along the bleak shore. Even Allan's mood started to sink. It was nearly an hour past the time when Midwinter had said he’d be at Hurle Mere. Allan had planned to walk to the pool (with a stable-boy from Thorpe Ambrose as his guide), using lanes and footpaths that would cut down the distance compared to the road. The boy knew the area well, and Midwinter was always on time for his appointments. Had something gone wrong at Thorpe Ambrose? Had there been an accident on the way? Determined not to stay there doubting and wasting time alone, Allan decided to walk inland from the Mere, hoping to run into his friend. He immediately went around to the corner of the wall and asked one of the reed-cutters for directions to the footpath to Thorpe Ambrose.
The man led him away from the road, and pointed to a barely perceptible break in the outer trees of the plantation. After pausing for one more useless look around him, Allan turned his back on the Mere and made for the trees.
The man guided him off the road and indicated a barely noticeable gap in the outer trees of the plantation. After taking one last pointless look around, Allan turned away from the Mere and headed for the trees.
For a few paces, the path ran straight through the plantation. Thence it took a sudden turn; and the water and the open country became both lost to view. Allan steadily followed the grassy track before him, seeing nothing and hearing nothing, until he came to another winding of the path. Turning in the new direction, he saw dimly a human figure sitting alone at the foot of one of the trees. Two steps nearer were enough to make the figure familiar to him. “Midwinter!” he exclaimed, in astonishment. “This is not the place where I was to meet you! What are you waiting for here?”
For a short distance, the path went straight through the plantation. Then it took a sharp turn, and both the water and the open countryside disappeared from view. Allan kept following the grassy trail ahead of him, noticing nothing and hearing nothing, until he reached another bend in the path. As he turned in the new direction, he vaguely saw a person sitting alone at the base of one of the trees. Taking two steps closer was enough to recognize the figure. “Midwinter!” he said in surprise. “This isn’t where we were supposed to meet! What are you doing here?”
Midwinter rose, without answering. The evening dimness among the trees, which obscured his face, made his silence doubly perplexing.
Midwinter rose, without responding. The evening gloom among the trees, which shadowed his face, made his silence even more confusing.
Allan went on eagerly questioning him. “Did you come here by yourself?” he asked. “I thought the boy was to guide you?”
Allan excitedly kept asking him, “Did you come here by yourself?” he asked. “I thought the boy was supposed to guide you?”
This time Midwinter answered. “When we got as far as these trees,” he said, “I sent the boy back. He told me I was close to the place, and couldn’t miss it.”
This time, Midwinter replied. “When we reached these trees,” he said, “I sent the boy back. He told me I was near the place and couldn’t miss it.”
“What made you stop here when he left you?” reiterated Allan. “Why didn’t you walk on?”
“What made you stop here when he left you?” Allan asked again. “Why didn’t you keep walking?”
“Don’t despise me,” answered the other. “I hadn’t the courage!”
“Don’t look down on me,” replied the other. “I didn’t have the courage!”
“Not the courage?” repeated Allan. He paused a moment. “Oh, I know!” he resumed, putting his hand gayly on Midwinter’s shoulder. “You’re still shy of the Milroys. What nonsense, when I told you myself that your peace was made at the cottage!”
“Not the courage?” Allan repeated. He took a moment. “Oh, I get it!” he continued, playfully placing his hand on Midwinter’s shoulder. “You’re still nervous around the Milroys. What nonsense, when I told you myself that everything was settled at the cottage!”
“I wasn’t thinking, Allan, of your friends at the cottage. The truth is, I’m hardly myself to-day. I am ill and unnerved; trifles startle me.” He stopped, and shrank away, under the anxious scrutiny of Allan’s eyes. “If you will have it,” he burst out, abruptly, “the horror of that night on board the Wreck has got me again; there’s a dreadful oppression on my head; there’s a dreadful sinking at my heart. I am afraid of something happening to us, if we don’t part before the day is out. I can’t break my promise to you; for God’s sake, release me from it, and let me go back!”
“I wasn’t thinking, Allan, about your friends at the cottage. The truth is, I’m not really myself today. I’m feeling sick and on edge; little things are unsettling me.” He paused and backed away, feeling the weight of Allan’s concerned gaze. “If you really want to know,” he suddenly blurted out, “the nightmare of that night on the Wreck is haunting me again; there’s a heavy pressure on my head, and a terrible feeling in my heart. I’m worried that something bad will happen to us if we don’t separate before the day ends. I can’t go back on my promise to you; for God’s sake, let me out of it, and let me return!”
Remonstrance, to any one who knew Midwinter, was plainly useless at that moment. Allan humored him. “Come out of this dark, airless place,” he said, “and we will talk about it. The water and the open sky are within a stone’s throw of us. I hate a wood in the evening; it even gives me the horrors. You have been working too hard over the steward’s books. Come and breathe freely in the blessed open air.”
Remonstrating with Midwinter was obviously pointless at that moment. Allan went along with him. “Let’s get out of this dark, stuffy place,” he said, “and we can talk about it. The water and the open sky are just a stone's throw away. I can’t stand being in the woods at night; it even creeps me out. You’ve been working too hard on the steward’s accounts. Come on, breathe in the fresh air.”
Midwinter stopped, considered for a moment, and suddenly submitted.
Midwinter paused, thought for a moment, and then suddenly gave in.
“You’re right,” he said, “and I’m wrong, as usual. I’m wasting time and distressing you to no purpose. What folly to ask you to let me go back! Suppose you had said yes?”
“You're right,” he said, “and I’m wrong, as always. I'm wasting time and stressing you out for no reason. What a dumb idea to ask you to let me go back! What if you had said yes?”
“Well?” asked Allan.
"Well?" Allan asked.
“Well,” repeated Midwinter, “something would have happened at the first step to stop me, that’s all. Come on.”
“Well,” Midwinter said again, “something would have happened right away to stop me, that’s all. Let’s go.”
They walked together in silence on the way to the Mere.
They walked together in silence on the way to the lake.
At the last turn in the path Allan’s cigar went out. While he stopped to light it again, Midwinter walked on before him, and was the first to come in sight of the open ground.
At the last bend in the path, Allan's cigar went out. While he stopped to relight it, Midwinter walked ahead of him and was the first to see the open ground.
Allan had just kindled the match, when, to his surprise, his friend came back to him round the turn in the path. There was light enough to show objects more clearly in this part of the plantation. The match, as Midwinter faced him, dropped on the instant from Allan’s hand.
Allan had just lit the match when, to his surprise, his friend came back around the bend in the path. There was enough light to see things more clearly in this part of the plantation. The match, as Midwinter faced him, immediately fell from Allan’s hand.
“Good God!” he cried, starting back, “you look as you looked on board the Wreck!”
“Good God!” he exclaimed, stepping back, “you look just like you did on the Wreck!”
Midwinter held up his band for silence. He spoke with his wild eyes riveted on Allan’s face, with his white lips close at Allan’s ear.
Midwinter signaled his group to be quiet. He spoke with his intense gaze fixed on Allan’s face, his pale lips almost touching Allan’s ear.
“You remember how I looked,” he answered, in a whisper. “Do you remember what I said when you and the doctor were talking of the Dream?”
“You remember how I looked,” he replied softly. “Do you remember what I said when you and the doctor were discussing the Dream?”
“I have forgotten the Dream,” said Allan.
“I’ve forgotten the dream,” said Allan.
As he made that answer, Midwinter took his hand, and led him round the last turn in the path.
As he answered, Midwinter took his hand and guided him around the last bend in the path.
“Do you remember it now?” he asked, and pointed to the Mere.
“Do you remember it now?” he asked, pointing to the lake.
The sun was sinking in the cloudless westward heaven. The waters of the Mere lay beneath, tinged red by the dying light. The open country stretched away, darkening drearily already on the right hand and the left. And on the near margin of the pool, where all had been solitude before, there now stood, fronting the sunset, the figure of a woman.
The sun was setting in the clear western sky. The waters of the Mere below were stained red by the fading light. The open land stretched out, already darkening sadly on both the right and left sides. And on the edge of the pool, where there had been nothing but solitude before, there now stood a woman facing the sunset.
The two Armadales stood together in silence, and looked at the lonely figure and the dreary view.
The two Armadales stood silently side by side, staring at the solitary figure and the bleak landscape.
Midwinter was the first to speak.
Midwinter was the first to speak.
“Your own eyes have seen it,” he said. “Now look at our own words.”
“Your own eyes have seen it,” he said. “Now check out our own words.”
He opened the narrative of the Dream, and held it under Allan’s eyes. His finger pointed to the lines which recorded the first Vision; his voice, sinking lower and lower, repeated the words:
He opened the story of the Dream and placed it in front of Allan. His finger traced the lines that described the first Vision; his voice, getting softer and softer, repeated the words:
“The sense came to me of being left alone in the darkness.
“The feeling hit me of being left alone in the dark.
“I waited.
"I waited."
“The darkness opened, and showed me the vision—as in a picture—of a broad, lonely pool, surrounded by open ground. Above the further margin of the pool I saw the cloudless western sky, red with the light of sunset.
“The darkness opened up and revealed to me a vision—like a picture—of a wide, desolate pool, surrounded by open land. Above the far edge of the pool, I saw the clear western sky, glowing red with the light of sunset.
“On the near margin of the pool there stood the Shadow of a Woman.”
“On the edge of the pool, there was the Shadow of a Woman.”
He ceased, and let the hand which held the manuscript drop to his side. The other hand pointed to the lonely figure, standing with its back turned on them, fronting the setting sun.
He stopped and let the hand holding the manuscript fall to his side. The other hand pointed to the solitary figure, standing with its back to them, facing the setting sun.
“There,” he said, “stands the living Woman, in the Shadow’s place! There speaks the first of the dream warnings to you and to me! Let the future time find us still together, and the second figure that stands in the Shadow’s place will be Mine.”
“Over there,” he said, “is the living Woman, in the Shadow’s place! There speaks the first of the dream warnings to you and to me! May the future find us still together, and the second figure that stands in the Shadow’s place will be Mine.”
Even Allan was silenced by the terrible certainty of conviction with which he spoke.
Even Allan was silenced by the awful certainty of conviction with which he spoke.
In the pause that followed, the figure at the pool moved, and walked slowly away round the margin of the shore. Allan stepped out beyond the last of the trees, and gained a wider view of the open ground. The first object that met his eyes was the pony-chaise from Thorpe Ambrose.
In the pause that followed, the figure at the pool moved and walked slowly away along the edge of the shore. Allan stepped out beyond the last of the trees and got a broader view of the open ground. The first thing he saw was the pony-chaise from Thorpe Ambrose.
He turned back to Midwinter with a laugh of relief. “What nonsense have you been talking!” he said. “And what nonsense have I been listening to! It’s the governess at last.”
He turned back to Midwinter with a laugh of relief. “What nonsense have you been talking!” he said. “And what nonsense have I been listening to! It’s the governess at last.”
Midwinter made no reply. Allan took him by the arm, and tried to lead him on. He released himself suddenly, and seized Allan with both hands, holding him back from the figure at the pool, as he had held him back from the cabin door on the deck of the timber ship. Once again the effort was in vain. Once again Allan broke away as easily as he had broken away in the past time.
Midwinter didn’t respond. Allan grabbed him by the arm, trying to pull him along. Midwinter suddenly broke free and grabbed Allan with both hands, stopping him from getting to the figure by the pool, just like he had stopped him from reaching the cabin door on the deck of the timber ship. Once again, the effort was pointless. Once more, Allan escaped as effortlessly as he had done before.
“One of us must speak to her,” he said. “And if you won’t, I will.”
“One of us has to talk to her,” he said. “And if you won’t, then I will.”
He had only advanced a few steps toward the Mere, when he heard, or thought he heard, a voice faintly calling after him, once and once only, the word Farewell. He stopped, with a feeling of uneasy surprise, and looked round.
He had only taken a few steps toward the lake when he heard, or thought he heard, a voice faintly calling after him, just once, saying Farewell. He stopped, feeling a strange sense of surprise, and looked around.
“Was that you, Midwinter?” he asked.
“Was that you, Midwinter?” he asked.
There was no answer. After hesitating a moment more, Allan returned to the plantation. Midwinter was gone.
There was no response. After pausing for a moment longer, Allan headed back to the plantation. Midwinter was gone.
He looked back at the pool, doubtful in the new emergency what to do next. The lonely figure had altered its course in the interval; it had turned, and was advancing toward the trees. Allan had been evidently either heard or seen. It was impossible to leave a woman unbefriended, in that helpless position and in that solitary place. For the second time Allan went out from the trees to meet her.
He looked back at the pool, unsure of what to do next in this new emergency. The lonely figure had changed direction in the meantime; it had turned and was moving toward the trees. Allan had clearly been either heard or seen. It was unthinkable to leave a woman alone in such a vulnerable position and in that isolated spot. For the second time, Allan stepped out from the trees to approach her.
As he came within sight of her face, he stopped in ungovernable astonishment. The sudden revelation of her beauty, as she smiled and looked at him inquiringly, suspended the movement in his limbs and the words on his lips. A vague doubt beset him whether it was the governess, after all.
As he got close enough to see her face, he stopped in utter disbelief. The sudden realization of her beauty, as she smiled and looked at him with curiosity, froze his movements and silenced his words. A vague doubt crept in, making him wonder if she was really the governess after all.
He roused himself, and, advancing a few paces, mentioned his name. “May I ask,” he added, “if I have the pleasure—?”
He got himself together, and after taking a few steps forward, he introduced himself. “May I ask,” he continued, “if I have the pleasure—?”
The lady met him easily and gracefully half-way. “Major Milroy’s governess,” she said. “Miss Gwilt.”
The lady approached him effortlessly and elegantly. “Major Milroy’s governess,” she said. “Miss Gwilt.”
X. THE HOUSE-MAID’S FACE.
All was quiet at Thorpe Ambrose. The hall was solitary, the rooms were dark. The servants, waiting for the supper hour in the garden at the back of the house, looked up at the clear heaven and the rising moon, and agreed that there was little prospect of the return of the picnic party until later in the night. The general opinion, led by the high authority of the cook, predicted that they might all sit down to supper without the least fear of being disturbed by the bell. Having arrived at this conclusion, the servants assembled round the table, and exactly at the moment when they sat down the bell rang.
All was quiet at Thorpe Ambrose. The hall was empty, and the rooms were dark. The servants, waiting for supper in the garden behind the house, looked up at the clear sky and the rising moon, and agreed that the picnic party wouldn’t be back until later in the night. The general consensus, influenced by the cook's strong opinion, was that they could all sit down to supper without any worry about being interrupted by the bell. Just as they reached this agreement and gathered around the table, the bell rang.
The footman, wondering, went up stairs to open the door, and found to his astonishment Midwinter waiting alone on the threshold, and looking (in the servant’s opinion) miserably ill. He asked for a light, and, saying he wanted nothing else, withdrew at once to his room. The footman went back to his fellow-servants, and reported that something had certainly happened to his master’s friend.
The footman, curious, went upstairs to open the door and was shocked to find Midwinter alone at the threshold, looking (in the servant’s opinion) very sick. He asked for a light and, stating he didn’t need anything else, immediately went back to his room. The footman returned to his fellow servants and reported that something must have happened to his master’s friend.
On entering his room, Midwinter closed the door, and hurriedly filled a bag with the necessaries for traveling. This done, he took from a locked drawer, and placed in the breast pocket of his coat, some little presents which Allan had given him—a cigar case, a purse, and a set of studs in plain gold. Having possessed himself of these memorials, he snatched up the bag and laid his hand on the door. There, for the first time, he paused. There, the headlong haste of all his actions thus far suddenly ceased, and the hard despair in his face began to soften: he waited, with the door in his hand.
On entering his room, Midwinter closed the door and quickly packed a bag with the essentials for traveling. Once that was done, he took some small gifts that Allan had given him from a locked drawer and put them in the breast pocket of his coat—a cigar case, a wallet, and a set of plain gold cufflinks. After securing these keepsakes, he grabbed the bag and reached for the door. For the first time, he hesitated. The frantic urgency of all his actions up to that point suddenly stopped, and the hard despair on his face began to soften: he paused, with his hand on the door.
Up to that moment he had been conscious of but one motive that animated him, but one purpose that he was resolute to achieve. “For Allan’s sake!” he had said to himself, when he looked back toward the fatal landscape and saw his friend leaving him to meet the woman at the pool. “For Allan’s sake!” he had said again, when he crossed the open country beyond the wood, and saw afar, in the gray twilight, the long line of embankment and the distant glimmer of the railway lamps beckoning him away already to the iron road.
Up to that moment, he had only been aware of one driving force behind his actions, one goal he was determined to achieve. “For Allan’s sake!” he had thought to himself as he glanced back at the tragic landscape and watched his friend leave him to meet the woman at the pool. “For Allan’s sake!” he had repeated when he crossed the open fields beyond the woods and saw, in the dim twilight, the long stretch of the embankment and the distant glow of the railway lights inviting him to the iron road ahead.
It was only when he now paused before he closed the door behind him—it was only when his own impetuous rapidity of action came for the first time to a check, that the nobler nature of the man rose in protest against the superstitious despair which was hurrying him from all that he held dear. His conviction of the terrible necessity of leaving Allan for Allan’s good had not been shaken for an instant since he had seen the first Vision of the Dream realized on the shores of the Mere. But now, for the first time, his own heart rose against him in unanswerable rebuke. “Go, if you must and will! but remember the time when you were ill, and he sat by your bedside; friendless, and he opened his heart to you—and write, if you fear to speak; write and ask him to forgive you, before you leave him forever!”
It was only when he paused before closing the door behind him—only when his usual impulsive speed finally came to a halt—that the better part of him protested against the superstitious despair driving him away from everything he cherished. His belief in the urgent need to leave Allan for Allan’s sake had not wavered for a moment since he had witnessed the first Vision of the Dream come to life on the shores of the Mere. But now, for the first time, his own heart confronted him with a silent rebuke. “Go, if you must! But remember when you were sick, and he sat by your side; lonely, he opened his heart to you—and write, if you’re too afraid to speak; write and ask him to forgive you before you leave him forever!”
The half-opened door closed again softly. Midwinter sat down at the writing-table and took up the pen.
The half-open door closed softly again. Midwinter sat down at the writing desk and picked up the pen.
He tried again and again, and yet again, to write the farewell words; he tried, till the floor all round him was littered with torn sheets of paper. Turn from them which way he would, the old times still came back and faced him reproachfully. The spacious bed-chamber in which he sat, narrowed, in spite of him, to the sick usher’s garret at the west-country inn. The kind hand that had once patted him on the shoulder touched him again; the kind voice that had cheered him spoke unchangeably in the old friendly tones. He flung his arms on the table and dropped his head on them in tearless despair. The parting words that his tongue was powerless to utter his pen was powerless to write. Mercilessly in earnest, his superstition pointed to him to go while the time was his own. Mercilessly in earnest, his love for Allan held him back till the farewell plea for pardon and pity was written.
He kept trying over and over to write the goodbye words; he kept at it until the floor around him was covered with torn pieces of paper. No matter which way he turned, the memories of the past still came back to haunt him. The spacious bedroom where he sat felt, despite his wishes, like the sick usher's tiny room at the inn in the west country. The comforting hand that had once patted him on the shoulder seemed to touch him again, while the familiar voice that had encouraged him still spoke in the same friendly tones. He threw his arms on the table and rested his head on them in silent despair. The goodbye words that he couldn’t say out loud felt just as impossible to write down. His superstition relentlessly urged him to leave while he still could. Meanwhile, his love for Allan held him back until he managed to write the heartfelt plea for forgiveness and compassion.
He rose with a sudden resolution, and rang for the servant, “When Mr. Armadale returns,” he said, “ask him to excuse my coming downstairs, and say that I am trying to get to sleep.” He locked the door and put out the light, and sat down alone in the darkness. “The night will keep us apart,” he said; “and time may help me to write. I may go in the early morning; I may go while—” The thought died in him uncompleted; and the sharp agony of the struggle forced to his lips the first cry of suffering that had escaped him yet.
He stood up with a sudden determination and called for the servant. “When Mr. Armadale gets back,” he said, “please tell him to excuse my coming downstairs and let him know that I’m trying to get to sleep.” He locked the door, turned off the light, and sat down alone in the dark. “The night will keep us apart,” he said, “and maybe time will help me write. I might leave early in the morning; I might leave while—” The thought faded away, and the intense pain of his struggle brought forth the first cry of anguish that had escaped him so far.
He waited in the darkness.
He waited in the dark.
As the time stole on, his senses remained mechanically awake, but his mind began to sink slowly under the heavy strain that had now been laid on it for some hours past. A dull vacancy possessed him; he made no attempt to kindle the light and write once more. He never started; he never moved to the open window, when the first sound of approaching wheels broke in on the silence of the night. He heard the carriages draw up at the door; he heard the horses champing their bits; he heard the voices of Allan and young Pedgift on the steps; and still he sat quiet in the darkness, and still no interest was aroused in him by the sounds that reached his ear from outside.
As time went on, he remained mechanically aware, but his mind started to dull under the heavy pressure it had been under for hours. A blank emptiness took over him; he made no effort to turn on the light and write again. He didn't flinch; he didn't move to the open window when he first heard the sound of approaching wheels breaking the night's silence. He heard the carriages arrive at the door; he heard the horses chewing on their bits; he heard Allan and young Pedgift talking on the steps; yet he remained still in the darkness, and still no interest stirred within him from the sounds coming from outside.
The voices remained audible after the carriages had been driven away; the two young men were evidently lingering on the steps before they took leave of each other. Every word they said reached Midwinter through the open window. Their one subject of conversation was the new governess. Allan’s voice was loud in her praise. He had never passed such an hour of delight in his life as the hour he had spent with Miss Gwilt in the boat, on the way from Hurle Mere to the picnic party waiting at the other Broad. Agreeing, on his side, with all that his client said in praise of the charming stranger, young Pedgift appeared to treat the subject, when it fell into his hands, from a different point of view. Miss Gwilt’s attractions had not so entirely absorbed his attention as to prevent him from noticing the impression which the new governess had produced on her employer and her pupil.
The voices were still audible even after the carriages had driven away; the two young men were clearly hanging around on the steps before saying goodbye. Every word they spoke reached Midwinter through the open window. Their main topic of conversation was the new governess. Allan's voice was enthusiastic in her praise. He claimed he had never experienced such a delightful hour in his life as the one he spent with Miss Gwilt in the boat, on the way from Hurle Mere to the picnic party waiting at the other Broad. While he agreed with all that his client said about the charming stranger, young Pedgift seemed to approach the subject from a different angle when it came up in conversation. Miss Gwilt's attractions hadn’t completely captured his attention, as he also noticed the effect the new governess had on her employer and her pupil.
“There’s a screw loose somewhere, sir, in Major Milroy’s family,” said the voice of young Pedgift. “Did you notice how the major and his daughter looked when Miss Gwilt made her excuses for being late at the Mere? You don’t remember? Do you remember what Miss Gwilt said?”
“There’s something off somewhere, sir, in Major Milroy’s family,” said young Pedgift. “Did you see how the major and his daughter reacted when Miss Gwilt explained why she was late at the Mere? You don’t remember? Do you recall what Miss Gwilt said?”
“Something about Mrs. Milroy, wasn’t it?” Allan rejoined.
“Wasn't it something about Mrs. Milroy?” Allan replied.
Young Pedgift’s voice dropped mysteriously a note lower.
Young Pedgift’s voice took on a mysteriously deeper tone.
“Miss Gwilt reached the cottage this afternoon, sir, at the time when I told you she would reach it, and she would have joined us at the time I told you she would come, but for Mrs. Milroy. Mrs. Milroy sent for her upstairs as soon as she entered the house, and kept her upstairs a good half-hour and more. That was Miss Gwilt’s excuse, Mr. Armadale, for being late at the Mere.”
“Miss Gwilt arrived at the cottage this afternoon, sir, at the time I mentioned she would, and she would have been with us at the time I said she would come, but for Mrs. Milroy. Mrs. Milroy called for her upstairs as soon as she arrived, and kept her there for a good half-hour or more. That’s why Miss Gwilt was late at the Mere, Mr. Armadale.”
“Well, and what then?”
"What's next?"
“You seem to forget, sir, what the whole neighborhood has heard about Mrs. Milroy ever since the major first settled among us. We have all been told, on the doctor’s own authority, that she is too great a sufferer to see strangers. Isn’t it a little odd that she should have suddenly turned out well enough to see Miss Gwilt (in her husband’s absence) the moment Miss Gwilt entered the house?”
“You seem to forget, sir, what the entire neighborhood has heard about Mrs. Milroy ever since the major first settled here. We’ve all been informed, based on the doctor’s own word, that she is too great a sufferer to see strangers. Isn’t it a bit strange that she suddenly got well enough to see Miss Gwilt (in her husband’s absence) the moment Miss Gwilt walked into the house?”
“Not a bit of it! Of course she was anxious to make acquaintance with her daughter’s governess.”
“Not at all! Of course she was eager to get to know her daughter’s governess.”
“Likely enough, Mr. Armadale. But the major and Miss Neelie don’t see it in that light, at any rate. I had my eye on them both when the governess told them that Mrs. Milroy had sent for her. If ever I saw a girl look thoroughly frightened, Miss Milroy was that girl; and (if I may be allowed, in the strictest confidence, to libel a gallant soldier) I should say that the major himself was much in the same condition. Take my word for it, sir, there’s something wrong upstairs in that pretty cottage of yours; and Miss Gwilt is mixed up in it already!”
“Probably so, Mr. Armadale. But the major and Miss Neelie don’t see it that way, at least not at the moment. I was keeping an eye on both of them when the governess told them that Mrs. Milroy had sent for her. If I ever saw a girl who looked completely terrified, it was Miss Milroy; and (if I’m allowed, in the strictest confidence, to speak poorly of a brave soldier) I’d say the major himself was quite similarly affected. Believe me, sir, there’s something off up in that charming cottage of yours; and Miss Gwilt is already involved in it!”
There was a minute of silence. When the voices were next heard by Midwinter, they were further away from the house—Allan was probably accompanying young Pedgift a few steps on his way back.
There was a minute of silence. When Midwinter heard the voices again, they were farther away from the house—Allan was probably walking young Pedgift a few steps on his way back.
After a while, Allan’s voice was audible once more under the portico, making inquiries after his friend; answered by the servant’s voice giving Midwinter’s message. This brief interruption over, the silence was not broken again till the time came for shutting up the house. The servants’ footsteps passing to and fro, the clang of closing doors, the barking of a disturbed dog in the stable-yard—these sounds warned Midwinter it was getting late. He rose mechanically to kindle a light. But his head was giddy, his hand trembled; he laid aside the match-box, and returned to his chair. The conversation between Allan and young Pedgift had ceased to occupy his attention the instant he ceased to hear it; and now again, the sense that the precious time was failing him became a lost sense as soon as the house noises which had awakened it had passed away. His energies of body and mind were both alike worn out; he waited with a stolid resignation for the trouble that was to come to him with the coming day.
After a while, Allan's voice could be heard again under the porch, asking about his friend, and the servant replied with Midwinter's message. Once this brief interruption was over, the silence was not disturbed again until it was time to close the house. The sound of the servants moving back and forth, the clang of closing doors, and the barking of a dog in the stable yard reminded Midwinter that it was getting late. He stood up automatically to light a lamp. But his head was spinning, and his hand shook; he put down the matchbox and went back to his chair. The conversation between Allan and young Pedgift stopped holding his attention the moment he stopped hearing it; and now, once again, the awareness that time was running out faded as soon as the house noises that had brought it back left. His body and mind were both exhausted; he waited with a dull acceptance for the troubles that would come with the new day.
An interval passed, and the silence was once more disturbed by voices outside; the voices of a man and a woman this time. The first few words exchanged between them indicated plainly enough a meeting of the clandestine kind; and revealed the man as one of the servants at Thorpe Ambrose, and the woman as one of the servants at the cottage.
An interval passed, and the silence was once again broken by voices outside; the voices of a man and a woman this time. The first few words exchanged between them clearly indicated a secret meeting, revealing the man as one of the staff at Thorpe Ambrose and the woman as one of the staff at the cottage.
Here again, after the first greetings were over, the subject of the new governess became the all-absorbing subject of conversation.
Here again, after the initial greetings were done, the topic of the new governess became the main focus of conversation.
The major’s servant was brimful of forebodings (inspired solely by Miss Gwilt’s good looks) which she poured out irrepressibly on her “sweetheart,” try as he might to divert her to other topics. Sooner or later, let him mark her words, there would be an awful “upset” at the cottage. Her master, it might be mentioned in confidence, led a dreadful life with her mistress. The major was the best of men; he hadn’t a thought in his heart beyond his daughter and his everlasting clock. But only let a nice-looking woman come near the place, and Mrs. Milroy was jealous of her—raging jealous, like a woman possessed, on that miserable sick-bed of hers. If Miss Gwilt (who was certainly good-looking, in spite of her hideous hair) didn’t blow the fire into a flame before many days more were over their heads, the mistress was the mistress no longer, but somebody else. Whatever happened, the fault, this time, would lie at the door of the major’s mother. The old lady and the mistress had had a dreadful quarrel two years since; and the old lady had gone away in a fury, telling her son, before all the servants, that, if he had a spark of spirit in him, he would never submit to his wife’s temper as he did. It would be too much, perhaps, to accuse the major’s mother of purposely picking out a handsome governess to spite the major’s wife. But it might be safely said that the old lady was the last person in the world to humor the mistress’s jealousy, by declining to engage a capable and respectable governess for her granddaughter because that governess happened to be blessed with good looks. How it was all to end (except that it was certain to end badly) no human creature could say. Things were looking as black already as things well could. Miss Neelie was crying, after the day’s pleasure (which was one bad sign); the mistress had found fault with nobody (which was another); the master had wished her good-night through the door (which was a third); and the governess had locked herself up in her room (which was the worst sign of all, for it looked as if she distrusted the servants). Thus the stream of the woman’s gossip ran on, and thus it reached Midwinter’s ears through the window, till the clock in the stable-yard struck, and stopped the talking. When the last vibrations of the bell had died away, the voices were not audible again, and the silence was broken no more.
The major's servant was filled with ominous feelings (triggered solely by Miss Gwilt's looks) which she eagerly shared with her “boyfriend,” no matter how hard he tried to change the subject. Sooner or later, mark her words, there was going to be a huge “upset” at the cottage. It should be mentioned in confidence that her master had a tough life with her mistress. The major was a great guy; he didn’t care about anything but his daughter and his trusty clock. But, let a pretty woman come around, and Mrs. Milroy got jealous—furiously jealous, like a woman possessed, in her wretched sick-bed. If Miss Gwilt (who was definitely good-looking, despite her awful hair) didn’t fan the flames before too many days passed, the mistress would no longer be the mistress, but someone else. Whatever happened, this time, the blame would fall on the major’s mother. The old lady and the mistress had a terrible fight two years ago; the old lady stormed off, telling her son, in front of all the servants, that if he had any backbone, he wouldn’t put up with his wife’s temper like that. It might be a stretch to say the major's mother deliberately picked a beautiful governess to get back at the major's wife. But it could definitely be said that she was the last person to appease the mistress's jealousy by refusing to hire a capable and respectable governess for her granddaughter just because that governess happened to be attractive. How it would all end (except that it was sure to end badly) was anyone's guess. Things already looked grim. Miss Neelie was crying after a day of fun (which was one bad sign); the mistress hadn’t criticized anyone (which was another); the master had wished her good night through the door (which was a third); and the governess had locked herself in her room (which was the worst sign of all, since it suggested she didn’t trust the servants). Thus, the flow of women's gossip continued, and it reached Midwinter's ears through the window, until the clock in the stable yard chimed, ending the conversation. When the last echoes of the bell faded away, the voices fell silent for good.
Another interval passed, and Midwinter made a new effort to rouse himself. This time he kindled the light without hesitation, and took the pen in hand.
Another interval passed, and Midwinter made a new effort to wake himself up. This time he lit the lamp without any doubt and picked up the pen.
He wrote at the first trial with a sudden facility of expression, which, surprising him as he went on, ended in rousing in him some vague suspicion of himself. He left the table, and bathed his head and face in water, and came back to read what he had written. The language was barely intelligible; sentences were left unfinished; words were misplaced one for the other. Every line recorded the protest of the weary brain against the merciless will that had forced it into action. Midwinter tore up the sheet of paper as he had torn up the other sheets before it, and, sinking under the struggle at last, laid his weary head on the pillow. Almost on the instant, exhaustion overcame him, and before he could put the light out he fell asleep.
He wrote at the first trial with an unexpected ease of expression that, as he continued, made him question himself. He got up, splashed water on his head and face, and returned to read what he had written. The writing was barely understandable; sentences were incomplete; words were mixed up. Every line reflected his tired mind's frustration against the relentless will that had pushed it into action. Midwinter ripped up the sheet of paper just like he had done with the others before it, and finally, overwhelmed by the struggle, laid his exhausted head on the pillow. Almost immediately, fatigue took over, and before he could turn off the light, he fell asleep.
He was roused by a noise at the door. The sunlight was pouring into the room, the candle had burned down into the socket, and the servant was waiting outside with a letter which had come for him by the morning’s post.
He was awakened by a noise at the door. The sunlight was streaming into the room, the candle had melted down into the holder, and the servant was waiting outside with a letter that had arrived for him in the morning mail.
“I ventured to disturb you, sir,” said the man, when Midwinter opened the door, “because the letter is marked ‘Immediate,’ and I didn’t know but it might be of some consequence.”
“I took the liberty of bothering you, sir,” said the man when Midwinter opened the door, “because the letter is marked ‘Immediate,’ and I thought it might be important.”
Midwinter thanked him, and looked at the letter. It was of some consequence—the handwriting was Mr. Brock’s.
Midwinter thanked him and looked at the letter. It was significant—the handwriting was Mr. Brock’s.
He paused to collect his faculties. The torn sheets of paper on the floor recalled to him in a moment the position in which he stood. He locked the door again, in the fear that Allan might rise earlier than usual and come in to make inquiries. Then—feeling strangely little interest in anything that the rector could write to him now—he opened Mr. Brock’s letter, and read these lines:
He stopped to gather his thoughts. The crumpled sheets of paper on the floor reminded him of his current situation. He locked the door again, worried that Allan might wake up earlier than usual and come in to ask questions. Then—feeling oddly uninterested in anything the rector could say to him now—he opened Mr. Brock’s letter and read these lines:
“Tuesday.
Tuesday.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—It is sometimes best to tell bad news plainly, in few words. Let me tell mine at once, in one sentence. My precautions have all been defeated: the woman has escaped me.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—Sometimes it's best to deliver bad news straightforwardly and briefly. Let me get to the point immediately, in one sentence. All my precautions have failed: the woman has escaped me."
“This misfortune—for it is nothing less—happened yesterday (Monday). Between eleven and twelve in the forenoon of that day, the business which originally brought me to London obliged me to go to Doctors’ Commons, and to leave my servant Robert to watch the house opposite our lodging until my return. About an hour and a half after my departure he observed an empty cab drawn up at the door of the house. Boxes and bags made their appearance first; they were followed by the woman herself, in the dress I had first seen her in. Having previously secured a cab, Robert traced her to the terminus of the North-Western Railway, saw her pass through the ticket office, kept her in view till she reached the platform, and there, in the crowd and confusion caused by the starting of a large mixed train, lost her. I must do him the justice to say that he at once took the right course in this emergency. Instead of wasting time in searching for her on the platform, he looked along the line of carriages; and he positively declares that he failed to see her in any one of them. He admits, at the same time, that his search (conducted between two o’clock, when he lost sight of her, and ten minutes past, when the train started) was, in the confusion of the moment, necessarily an imperfect one. But this latter circumstance, in my opinion, matters little. I as firmly disbelieve in the woman’s actual departure by that train as if I had searched every one of the carriages myself; and you, I have no doubt, will entirely agree with me.
“This misfortune—for it is nothing less—happened yesterday (Monday). Between eleven and noon that day, the business that originally brought me to London required me to go to Doctors’ Commons, leaving my servant Robert to keep an eye on the house across from our lodging until I returned. About an hour and a half after I left, he noticed an empty cab pulled up in front of the house. Boxes and bags showed up first, followed by the woman herself, in the same outfit I had seen her in before. Having already secured a cab, Robert tracked her to the North-Western Railway station, saw her go through the ticket office, kept her in sight until she reached the platform, and then, in the crowd and chaos caused by the departure of a large mixed train, lost her. I must give him credit for taking the right approach in this situation. Instead of wasting time looking for her on the platform, he scanned the line of carriages; he firmly insists he didn’t see her in any of them. He also acknowledges that his search (which took place between two o’clock, when he lost sight of her, and ten minutes later, when the train left) was, in the confusion of the moment, necessarily incomplete. But I think that detail matters very little. I absolutely don’t believe the woman actually left on that train, as if I had searched every single carriage myself; and I’m sure you’ll completely agree with me.
“You now know how the disaster happened. Let us not waste time and words in lamenting it. The evil is done, and you and I together must find the way to remedy it.
“You now know how the disaster happened. Let’s not waste time and words feeling sorry for it. The damage is done, and you and I need to figure out how to fix it together.
“What I have accomplished already, on my side, may be told in two words. Any hesitation I might have previously felt at trusting this delicate business in strangers’ hands was at an end the moment I heard Robert’s news. I went back at once to the city, and placed the whole matter confidentially before my lawyers. The conference was a long one, and when I left the office it was past the post hour, or I should have written to you on Monday instead of writing to-day. My interview with the lawyers was not very encouraging. They warn me plainly that serious difficulties stand in the way of our recovering the lost trace. But they have promised to do their best, and we have decided on the course to be taken, excepting one point on which we totally differ. I must tell you what this difference is; for, while business keeps me away from Thorpe Ambrose, you are the only person whom I can trust to put my convictions to the test.
“What I’ve accomplished so far can be summed up in two words. Any uncertainty I had about leaving this delicate matter in the hands of strangers disappeared the moment I heard Robert’s news. I immediately returned to the city and laid everything out confidentially to my lawyers. The meeting was lengthy, and by the time I left their office, it was past the usual hour, or I would have written to you on Monday instead of today. My conversation with the lawyers wasn’t very encouraging. They clearly warned me that significant obstacles are in the way of us recovering the lost trace. However, they promised to do their best, and we’ve decided on a course of action, except for one point on which we completely disagree. I need to share this difference with you, as you are the only person I can trust to help me test my convictions while business keeps me away from Thorpe Ambrose.”
“The lawyers are of opinion, then, that the woman has been aware from the first that I was watching her; that there is, consequently, no present hope of her being rash enough to appear personally at Thorpe Ambrose; that any mischief she may have it in contemplation to do will be done in the first instance by deputy; and that the only wise course for Allan’s friends and guardians to take is to wait passively till events enlighten them. My own idea is diametrically opposed to this. After what has happened at the railway, I cannot deny that the woman must have discovered that I was watching her. But she has no reason to suppose that she has not succeeded in deceiving me; and I firmly believe she is bold enough to take us by surprise, and to win or force her way into Allan’s confidence before we are prepared to prevent her.
“The lawyers believe that the woman has known from the beginning that I was watching her; therefore, there’s no real chance that she’ll be reckless enough to show up in person at Thorpe Ambrose. Any trouble she might be planning will likely be carried out through others first. They think the smartest thing for Allan’s friends and guardians to do is to wait quietly until events clarify what’s happening. I, however, completely disagree. After what happened at the railway, I can’t deny that the woman must be aware that I was watching her. But she has no reason to think she hasn’t managed to deceive me; and I truly believe she’s bold enough to catch us off guard and gain Allan’s trust before we can stop her.”
“You and you only (while I am detained in London) can decide whether I am right or wrong—and you can do it in this way. Ascertain at once whether any woman who is a stranger in the neighborhood has appeared since Monday last at or near Thorpe Ambrose. If any such person has been observed (and nobody escapes observation in the country), take the first opportunity you can get of seeing her, and ask yourself if her face does or does not answer certain plain questions which I am now about to write down for you. You may depend on my accuracy. I saw the woman unveiled on more than one occasion, and the last time through an excellent glass.
“You and only you (while I'm stuck in London) can decide if I'm right or wrong—and you can do it this way. First, find out if any woman who doesn't belong in the area has shown up since last Monday at or near Thorpe Ambrose. If anyone like that has been seen (and in the countryside, no one goes unnoticed), take the first chance you get to see her, and ask yourself if her face answers certain straightforward questions that I'm about to write down for you. You can trust my accuracy. I saw the woman without her veil more than once, and the last time was through a great lens.”
“1. Is her hair light brown, and (apparently) not very plentiful? 2. Is her forehead high, narrow, and sloping backward from the brow? 3. Are her eyebrows very faintly marked, and are her eyes small, and nearer dark than light—either gray or hazel (I have not seen her close enough to be certain which)? 4. Is her nose aquiline? 5 Are her lips thin, and is the upper lip long? 6. Does her complexion look like an originally fair complexion, which has deteriorated into a dull, sickly paleness? 7 (and lastly). Has she a retreating chin, and is there on the left side of it a mark of some kind—a mole or a scar, I can’t say which?
“1. Is her hair light brown and (apparently) not very thick? 2. Is her forehead high, narrow, and sloping back from the brow? 3. Are her eyebrows very lightly defined, and are her eyes small and more dark than light—either gray or hazel (I haven’t seen her close enough to be sure)? 4. Is her nose curved? 5. Are her lips thin, and is the upper lip long? 6. Does her complexion look like it was originally fair but has faded into a dull, sickly pale? 7 (and finally). Does she have a retreating chin, and is there a mark on the left side of it—either a mole or a scar, I can't tell which?”
“I add nothing about her expression, for you may see her under circumstances which may partially alter it as seen by me. Test her by her features, which no circumstances can change. If there is a stranger in the neighborhood, and if her face answers my seven questions, you have found the woman! Go instantly, in that case, to the nearest lawyer, and pledge my name and credit for whatever expenses may be incurred in keeping her under inspection night and day. Having done this, take the speediest means of communicating with me; and whether my business is finished or not, I will start for Norfolk by the first train.
“I won’t comment on her expression, because you might see her in situations that could change how I perceive it. Assess her by her features, which remain constant no matter the circumstances. If there’s a stranger in the area, and her face responds to my seven questions, you've found the woman! If that’s the case, go immediately to the nearest lawyer and use my name and reputation to cover any costs for keeping her under continuous watch. After that, find the quickest way to get in touch with me; and regardless of whether my business is done, I’ll head to Norfolk on the first train.”
“Always your friend, DECIMUS BROCK.”
“Always your friend, Decimus Brock.”
Hardened by the fatalist conviction that now possessed him, Midwinter read the rector’s confession of defeat, from the first line to the last, without the slightest betrayal either of interest or surprise. The one part of the letter at which he looked back was the closing part of it. “I owe much to Mr. Brock’s kindness,” he thought; “and I shall never see Mr. Brock again. It is useless and hopeless; but he asks me to do it, and it shall be done. A moment’s look at her will be enough—a moment’s look at her with his letter in my hand—and a line to tell him that the woman is here!”
Hardened by the belief that now consumed him, Midwinter read the rector’s confession of defeat, from beginning to end, without showing the slightest hint of interest or surprise. The only part of the letter he reflected on was the closing section. “I owe a lot to Mr. Brock’s kindness,” he thought; “and I’ll never see Mr. Brock again. It’s pointless and hopeless; but he asks me to do it, and it will be done. A moment's glance at her will be enough—a moment's glance at her with his letter in my hand—and a note to let him know that the woman is here!”
Again he stood hesitating at the half-opened door; again the cruel necessity of writing his farewell to Allan stopped him, and stared him in the face.
Again he stood hesitating at the half-open door; again the harsh need to write his goodbye to Allan held him back and confronted him directly.
He looked aside doubtingly at the rector’s letter. “I will write the two together,” he said. “One may help the other.” His face flushed deep as the words escaped him. He was conscious of doing what he had not done yet—of voluntarily putting off the evil hour; of making Mr. Brock the pretext for gaining the last respite left, the respite of time.
He glanced uncertainly at the rector’s letter. “I’ll write the two together,” he said. “One might help the other.” His face turned red as he spoke. He realized he was doing something he hadn’t done before—deliberately postponing the difficult moment; using Mr. Brock as an excuse to buy himself a bit more time, the only remaining delay he had.
The only sound that reached him through the open door was the sound of Allan stirring noisily in the next room. He stepped at once into the empty corridor, and meeting no one on the stairs, made his way out of the house. The dread that his resolution to leave Allan might fail him if he saw Allan again was as vividly present to his mind in the morning as it had been all through the night. He drew a deep breath of relief as he descended the house steps—relief at having escaped the friendly greeting of the morning, from the one human creature whom he loved!
The only sound that reached him through the open door was Allan making noise in the next room. He immediately stepped into the empty hallway and, seeing no one on the stairs, made his way out of the house. The fear that his decision to leave Allan might waver if he saw him again was just as strong in the morning as it had been all night. He let out a deep breath of relief as he walked down the steps—relief at having avoided the cheerful morning greeting from the one person he loved!
He entered the shrubbery with Mr. Brock’s letter in his hand, and took the nearest way that led to the major’s cottage. Not the slightest recollection was in his mind of the talk which had found its way to his ears during the night. His one reason for determining to see the woman was the reason which the rector had put in his mind. The one remembrance that now guided him to the place in which she lived was the remembrance of Allan’s exclamation when he first identified the governess with the figure at the pool.
He went into the bushes with Mr. Brock’s letter in hand and took the quickest route to the major’s cottage. He had no memory of the conversation that had reached him during the night. His only reason for deciding to see the woman was the suggestion made by the rector. The single memory that now led him to where she lived was Allan’s exclamation when he first recognized the governess as the figure by the pool.
Arrived at the gate of the cottage, he stopped. The thought struck him that he might defeat his own object if he looked at the rector’s questions in the woman’s presence. Her suspicions would be probably roused, in the first instance, by his asking to see her (as he had determined to ask, with or without an excuse), and the appearance of the letter in his hand might confirm them.
Arriving at the cottage gate, he paused. It occurred to him that he might undermine his purpose if he considered the rector’s questions while the woman was there. Her suspicions would likely be raised right away if he asked to see her (which he was determined to do, with or without an excuse), and having the letter in his hand might confirm her doubts.
She might defeat him by instantly leaving the room. Determined to fix the description in his mind first, and then to confront her, he opened the letter; and, turning away slowly by the side of the house, read the seven questions which he felt absolutely assured beforehand the woman’s face would answer.
She could beat him by just walking out of the room. Determined to make sure the description was clear in his mind before facing her, he opened the letter and slowly walked along the side of the house, reading the seven questions he was completely sure the woman's expression would answer.
In the morning quiet of the park slight noises traveled far. A slight noise disturbed Midwinter over the letter.
In the morning stillness of the park, even small sounds carried a long way. A faint noise interrupted Midwinter as he read the letter.
He looked up and found himself on the brink of a broad grassy trench, having the park on one side and the high laurel hedge of an inclosure on the other. The inclosure evidently surrounded the back garden of the cottage, and the trench was intended to protect it from being damaged by the cattle grazing in the park.
He looked up and saw that he was at the edge of a wide grassy ditch, with the park on one side and a tall laurel hedge enclosing the other. The hedge clearly surrounded the back garden of the cottage, and the ditch was meant to keep it safe from the cattle grazing in the park.
Listening carefully as the slight sound which had disturbed him grew fainter, he recognized in it the rustling of women’s dresses. A few paces ahead, the trench was crossed by a bridge (closed by a wicket gate) which connected the garden with the park. He passed through the gate, crossed the bridge, and, opening a door at the other end, found himself in a summer-house thickly covered with creepers, and commanding a full view of the garden from end to end.
Listening closely as the faint sound that had bothered him faded, he realized it was the rustling of women's dresses. A few steps ahead, the trench was crossed by a bridge (blocked by a small gate) that connected the garden with the park. He went through the gate, crossed the bridge, and, opening a door at the other end, found himself in a summer house covered with vines, offering a complete view of the garden from one end to the other.
He looked, and saw the figures of two ladies walking slowly away from him toward the cottage. The shorter of the two failed to occupy his attention for an instant; he never stopped to think whether she was or was not the major’s daughter. His eyes were riveted on the other figure—the figure that moved over the garden walk with the long, lightly falling dress and the easy, seductive grace. There, presented exactly as he had seen her once already—there, with her back again turned on him, was the Woman at the pool!
He looked and saw two women walking slowly away from him towards the cottage. The shorter one didn't catch his attention at all; he didn't even consider whether she was the major's daughter. His eyes were fixed on the other woman—the one gliding over the garden path in her long, flowing dress with an effortless, alluring grace. There she was, just like he had seen her before—there, with her back turned to him, was the Woman at the pool!
There was a chance that they might take another turn in the garden—a turn back toward the summer-house. On that chance Midwinter waited. No consciousness of the intrusion that he was committing had stopped him at the door of the summer-house, and no consciousness of it troubled him even now. Every finer sensibility in his nature, sinking under the cruel laceration of the past night, had ceased to feel. The dogged resolution to do what he had come to do was the one animating influence left alive in him. He acted, he even looked, as the most stolid man living might have acted and looked in his place. He was self-possessed enough, in the interval of expectation before governess and pupil reached the end of the walk, to open Mr. Brock’s letter, and to fortify his memory by a last look at the paragraph which described her face.
There was a chance they might turn again in the garden—a turn back toward the summer house. Midwinter waited for that chance. The awareness of the intrusion he was committing hadn't stopped him at the door of the summer house, and it didn’t trouble him now. Every sensitive part of him, weighed down by the painful memories of the previous night, had gone numb. The stubborn determination to do what he had set out to do was the only thing keeping him going. He acted and even looked like the most unfeeling person could have in his situation. He was composed enough, during the wait before the governess and pupil finished their walk, to open Mr. Brock’s letter and remind himself of the paragraph that described her face.
He was still absorbed over the description when he heard the smooth rustle of the dresses traveling toward him again. Standing in the shadow of the summer-house, he waited while she lessened the distance between them. With her written portrait vividly impressed on his mind, and with the clear light of the morning to help him, his eyes questioned her as she came on; and these were the answers that her face gave him back.
He was still focused on the description when he heard the soft rustle of dresses approaching him again. Standing in the shadow of the summer house, he waited as she walked closer. With her written portrait clearly in his mind, and the bright morning light to help him, his eyes looked for answers as she approached; and this was what her face revealed to him.
The hair in the rector’s description was light brown and not plentiful. This woman’s hair, superbly luxuriant in its growth, was of the one unpardonably remarkable shade of color which the prejudice of the Northern nations never entirely forgives—it was red! The forehead in the rector’s description was high, narrow, and sloping backward from the brow; the eyebrows were faintly marked; and the eyes small, and in color either gray or hazel. This woman’s forehead was low, upright, and broad toward the temples; her eyebrows, at once strongly and delicately marked, were a shade darker than her hair; her eyes, large, bright, and well opened, were of that purely blue color, without a tinge in it of gray or green, so often presented to our admiration in pictures and books, so rarely met with in the living face. The nose in the rector’s description was aquiline. The line of this woman’s nose bent neither outward nor inward: it was the straight, delicately molded nose (with the short upper lip beneath) of the ancient statues and busts. The lips in the rector’s description were thin and the upper lip long; the complexion was of a dull, sickly paleness; the chin retreating and the mark of a mole or a scar on the left side of it. This woman’s lips were full, rich, and sensual. Her complexion was the lovely complexion which accompanies such hair as hers—so delicately bright in its rosier tints, so warmly and softly white in its gentler gradations of color on the forehead and the neck. Her chin, round and dimpled, was pure of the slightest blemish in every part of it, and perfectly in line with her forehead to the end. Nearer and nearer, and fairer and fairer she came, in the glow of the morning light—the most startling, the most unanswerable contradiction that eye could see or mind conceive to the description in the rector’s letter.
The hair in the rector’s description was light brown and sparse. This woman’s hair, beautifully thick and full, was the one unforgivable shade that people from the North never quite accept—it was red! The forehead in the rector’s description was high, narrow, and sloped backward from the brow; the eyebrows were faintly defined; and the eyes were small, either gray or hazel. This woman’s forehead was low, upright, and broad at the temples; her eyebrows, both strongly and delicately defined, were a shade darker than her hair; her eyes, large, bright, and wide open, were a pure blue, without a hint of gray or green, often seen in paintings and books, yet so rarely found in real life. The nose in the rector’s description was aquiline. This woman’s nose was perfectly straight and elegantly shaped (with a short upper lip beneath), resembling the noses of ancient statues and busts. The lips in the rector’s description were thin, with a long upper lip; the complexion was a dull, sickly pale; the chin was receding with a mole or scar on the left side. This woman’s lips were full, lush, and sensual. Her complexion was the lovely one that complements such hair as hers—bright with rosy tones and warmly and softly white in the lighter shades on her forehead and neck. Her chin, round and dimpled, was flawless in every way and perfectly aligned with her forehead all the way down. Closer and closer, and more beautiful by the moment she came, illuminated by the morning light—the most striking, undeniable contradiction to the description in the rector’s letter.
Both governess and pupil were close to the summer-house before they looked that way, and noticed Midwinter standing inside. The governess saw him first.
Both the governess and the student were near the summer house before they glanced over in that direction and noticed Midwinter standing inside. The governess spotted him first.
“A friend of yours, Miss Milroy?” she asked, quietly, without starting or betraying any sign of surprise.
“A friend of yours, Miss Milroy?” she asked quietly, without flinching or showing any sign of surprise.
Neelie recognized him instantly. Prejudiced against Midwinter by his conduct when his friend had introduced him at the cottage, she now fairly detested him as the unlucky first cause of her misunderstanding with Allan at the picnic. Her face flushed and she drew back from the summerhouse with an expression of merciless surprise.
Neelie recognized him right away. Having been biased against Midwinter because of how he acted when her friend introduced him at the cottage, she now truly despised him as the unfortunate reason for her misunderstanding with Allan at the picnic. Her face turned red, and she stepped back from the summerhouse with a look of cold surprise.
“He is a friend of Mr. Armadale’s,” she replied sharply. “I don’t know what he wants, or why he is here.”
“He's a friend of Mr. Armadale’s,” she replied sharply. “I don’t know what he wants or why he’s here.”
“A friend of Mr. Armadale’s!” The governess’s face lighted up with a suddenly roused interest as she repeated the words. She returned Midwinter’s look, still steadily fixed on her, with equal steadiness on her side.
“A friend of Mr. Armadale’s!” The governess’s face lit up with a sudden burst of interest as she repeated the words. She returned Midwinter’s gaze, which was still fixed on her, with equal steadiness on her side.
“For my part,” pursued Neelie, resenting Midwinter’s insensibility to her presence on the scene, “I think it a great liberty to treat papa’s garden as if it were the open park!”
“For my part,” continued Neelie, feeling annoyed by Midwinter’s indifference to her being there, “I think it’s a huge disrespect to treat Dad’s garden like it’s an open park!”
The governess turned round, and gently interposed.
The governess turned around and calmly intervened.
“My dear Miss Milroy,” she remonstrated, “there are certain distinctions to be observed. This gentleman is a friend of Mr. Armadale’s. You could hardly express yourself more strongly if he was a perfect stranger.”
“My dear Miss Milroy,” she protested, “there are certain distinctions to be made. This gentleman is a friend of Mr. Armadale’s. You could hardly express yourself more strongly if he were a complete stranger.”
“I express my opinion,” retorted Neelie, chafing under the satirically indulgent tone in which the governess addressed her. “It’s a matter of taste, Miss Gwilt; and tastes differ.” She turned away petulantly, and walked back by herself to the cottage.
“I’m sharing my opinion,” Neelie shot back, irritated by the sarcastically tolerant way the governess spoke to her. “It’s all about personal preference, Miss Gwilt; and everyone has their own.” She turned away sulkily and walked back to the cottage alone.
“She is very young,” said Miss Gwilt, appealing with a smile to Midwinter’s forbearance; “and, as you must see for yourself, sir, she is a spoiled child.” She paused—showed, for an instant only, her surprise at Midwinter’s strange silence and strange persistency in keeping his eyes still fixed on her—then set herself, with a charming grace and readiness, to help him out of the false position in which he stood. “As you have extended your walk thus far,” she resumed, “perhaps you will kindly favor me, on your return, by taking a message to your friend? Mr. Armadale has been so good as to invite me to see the Thorpe Ambrose gardens this morning. Will you say that Major Milroy permits me to accept the invitation (in company with Miss Milroy) between ten and eleven o’clock?” For a moment her eyes rested, with a renewed look of interest, on Midwinter’s face. She waited, still in vain, for an answering word from him—smiled, as if his extraordinary silence amused rather than angered her—and followed her pupil back to the cottage.
“She’s really young,” Miss Gwilt said, smiling to appeal to Midwinter’s patience. “And, as you can see for yourself, sir, she’s a spoiled child.” She paused, briefly surprised by Midwinter’s strange silence and his insistence on keeping his gaze fixed on her. Then she set about graciously helping him out of the awkward situation he found himself in. “Since you’ve come this far,” she continued, “would you be so kind as to take a message to your friend on your way back? Mr. Armadale has kindly invited me to see the Thorpe Ambrose gardens this morning. Would you tell him that Major Milroy allows me to accept the invitation (along with Miss Milroy) between ten and eleven o’clock?” For a moment, her eyes lingered on Midwinter’s face with renewed interest. She waited in vain for a reply from him—smiled as if his unusual silence amused her rather than upset her—and followed her pupil back to the cottage.
It was only when the last trace of her had disappeared that Midwinter roused himself, and attempted to realize the position in which he stood. The revelation of her beauty was in no respect answerable for the breathless astonishment which had held him spell-bound up to this moment. The one clear impression she had produced on him thus far began and ended with his discovery of the astounding contradiction that her face offered, in one feature after another, to the description in Mr. Brock’s letter. All beyond this was vague and misty—a dim consciousness of a tall, elegant woman, and of kind words, modestly and gracefully spoken to him, and nothing more.
It was only after the last trace of her had faded that Midwinter pulled himself together and tried to understand his situation. The shock of her beauty had nothing to do with the breathless awe that had kept him captivated until now. The only clear impression she had left on him so far began and ended with his realization of the incredible contradiction between her face and the description in Mr. Brock’s letter. Everything else was blurry and vague—a faint awareness of a tall, graceful woman and kind words that had been spoken to him modestly and gracefully, and nothing more.
He advanced a few steps into the garden without knowing why—stopped, glancing hither and thither like a man lost—recognized the summer-house by an effort, as if years had elapsed since he had seen it—and made his way out again, at last, into the park. Even here, he wandered first in one direction, then in another. His mind was still reeling under the shock that had fallen on it; his perceptions were all confused. Something kept him mechanically in action, walking eagerly without a motive, walking he knew not where.
He stepped a few paces into the garden without really knowing why—paused, glancing around like someone who was lost—finally recognized the summer-house after a struggle, as if years had passed since he had last seen it—and eventually made his way back out into the park. Even here, he wandered in one direction, then another. His mind was still spinning from the shock he had experienced; his thoughts were all jumbled. Something kept him moving, walking eagerly without a purpose, going wherever he felt like.
A far less sensitively organized man might have been overwhelmed, as he was overwhelmed now, by the immense, the instantaneous revulsion of feeling which the event of the last few minutes had wrought in his mind.
A much less emotionally tuned-in person might have been overwhelmed, as he was overwhelmed now, by the huge, immediate wave of disgust that the events of the last few minutes had stirred in his mind.
At the memorable instant when he had opened the door of the summer-house, no confusing influence troubled his faculties. In all that related to his position toward his friend, he had reached an absolutely definite conclusion by an absolutely definite process of thought. The whole strength of the motive which had driven him into the resolution to part from Allan rooted itself in the belief that he had seen at Hurle Mere the fatal fulfillment of the first Vision of the Dream. And this belief, in its turn, rested, necessarily, on the conviction that the woman who was the one survivor of the tragedy in Madeira must be also inevitably the woman whom he had seen standing in the Shadow’s place at the pool. Firm in that persuasion, he had himself compared the object of his distrust and of the rector’s distrust with the description written by the rector himself—a description, carefully minute, by a man entirely trustworthy—and his own eyes had informed him that the woman whom he had seen at the Mere, and the woman whom Mr. Brock had identified in London, were not one, but Two. In the place of the Dream Shadow, there had stood, on the evidence of the rector’s letter, not the instrument of the Fatality—but a stranger!
At the unforgettable moment when he opened the door of the summer house, no confusing thoughts distracted him. Regarding his relationship with his friend, he had reached a completely clear conclusion through a straightforward thought process. The strong motivation that pushed him to decide to part ways with Allan was rooted in the belief that he had witnessed the tragic outcome of the first Vision of the Dream at Hurle Mere. This belief, in turn, was based on the conviction that the only survivor of the tragedy in Madeira must also inevitably be the woman he had seen standing in the Shadow’s place by the pool. Confident in this belief, he compared the person he distrusted and the one the rector distrusted with the description written by the rector himself—a detailed account by an entirely reliable man—and his own eyes confirmed that the woman he had seen at the Mere and the woman Mr. Brock had identified in London were not the same; they were Two. According to the rector’s letter, instead of the Dream Shadow, there stood not the instrument of Fatality, but a stranger!
No such doubts as might have troubled a less superstitious man, were started in his mind by the discovery that had now opened on him.
No doubts that might have troubled someone less superstitious came to his mind with the discovery that had now been revealed to him.
It never occurred to him to ask himself whether a stranger might not be the appointed instrument of the Fatality, now when the letter had persuaded him that a stranger had been revealed as the figure in the dream landscape. No such idea entered or could enter his mind. The one woman whom his superstition dreaded was the woman who had entwined herself with the lives of the two Armadales in the first generation, and with the fortunes of the two Armadales in the second—who was at once the marked object of his father’s death-bed warning, and the first cause of the family calamities which had opened Allan’s way to the Thorpe Ambrose estate—the woman, in a word, whom he would have known instinctively, but for Mr. Brock’s letter, to be the woman whom he had now actually seen.
He never thought to consider whether a stranger could be the chosen agent of Fate, especially now that the letter had convinced him that a stranger was the figure from his dream. That idea didn't even occur to him. The one woman his superstition feared was the woman who had intertwined her life with the two Armadales in the first generation, and with the fortunes of the two Armadales in the second—she was both the focus of his father's deathbed warning and the root cause of the family tragedies that had cleared Allan's path to the Thorpe Ambrose estate—the woman he would have instinctively recognized, if it weren't for Mr. Brock's letter, as the woman he had now actually seen.
Looking at events as they had just happened, under the influence of the misapprehension into which the rector had innocently misled him, his mind saw and seized its new conclusion instantaneously, acting precisely as it had acted in the past time of his interview with Mr. Brock at the Isle of Man.
Looking at events as they had just occurred, influenced by the misunderstanding the rector had unknowingly caused, his mind quickly formed a new conclusion, acting exactly as it had during his previous conversation with Mr. Brock at the Isle of Man.
Exactly as he had once declared it to be an all-sufficient refutation of the idea of the Fatality, that he had never met with the timber-ship in any of his voyages at sea, so he now seized on the similarly derived conclusion, that the whole claim of the Dream to a supernatural origin stood self-refuted by the disclosure of a stranger in the Shadow’s place. Once started from this point—once encouraged to let his love for Allan influence him undividedly again, his mind hurried along the whole resulting chain of thought at lightning speed. If the Dream was proved to be no longer a warning from the other world, it followed inevitably that accident and not fate had led the way to the night on the Wreck, and that all the events which had happened since Allan and he had parted from Mr. Brock were events in themselves harmless, which his superstition had distorted from their proper shape. In less than a moment his mobile imagination had taken him back to the morning at Castletown when he had revealed to the rector the secret of his name; when he had declared to the rector, with his father’s letter before his eyes, the better faith that was in him. Now once more he felt his heart holding firmly by the bond of brotherhood between Allan and himself; now once more he could say with the eager sincerity of the old time, “If the thought of leaving him breaks my heart, the thought of leaving him is wrong!” As that nobler conviction possessed itself again of his mind—quieting the tumult, clearing the confusion within him—the house at Thorpe Ambrose, with Allan on the steps, waiting, looking for him, opened on his eyes through the trees. A sense of illimitable relief lifted his eager spirit high above the cares, and doubts, and fears that had oppressed it so long, and showed him once more the better and brighter future of his early dreams. His eyes filled with tears, and he pressed the rector’s letter, in his wild, passionate way, to his lips, as he looked at Allan through the vista of the trees. “But for this morsel of paper,” he thought, “my life might have been one long sorrow to me, and my father’s crime might have parted us forever!”
Just like he had previously insisted it was completely enough to disprove the idea of Fate since he had never encountered the timber-ship on any of his sea voyages, he now relied on a similar conclusion: that the entire claim of the Dream having a supernatural origin was immediately disproven by the appearance of a stranger in the Shadow’s place. Once he started from this point—once he allowed his love for Allan to influence him completely again—his mind raced through the whole sequence of thoughts at lightning speed. If the Dream was no longer a warning from the other world, then it followed that chance and not fate had caused the events of the night on the Wreck, and that everything that had happened since Allan and he had separated from Mr. Brock was harmless, distorted only by his superstitious beliefs. In less than a moment, his quick imagination took him back to that morning in Castletown when he had shared the secret of his name with the rector; when he had confidently shown the rector, with his father’s letter before him, the stronger faith he held. Once again, he felt his heart clutching tightly to the bond of brotherhood he had with Allan; once again, he could say with the enthusiastic sincerity of the past, “If the thought of leaving him breaks my heart, then wanting to leave him is wrong!” As that nobler belief filled his mind—calming the chaos, clearing the confusion within him—the house at Thorpe Ambrose, with Allan on the steps, waiting and looking for him, appeared through the trees. A sense of boundless relief lifted his eager spirit high above the worries, doubts, and fears that had weighed it down for so long, revealing to him once again the brighter and better future of his early hopes. His eyes brimmed with tears, and he pressed the rector’s letter, in his wild, passionate way, to his lips as he gazed at Allan through the gap in the trees. “If it weren’t for this piece of paper,” he thought, “my life might have been one long sorrow for me, and my father’s crime could have separated us forever!”
Such was the result of the stratagem which had shown the housemaid’s face to Mr. Brock as the face of Miss Gwilt. And so—by shaking Midwinter’s trust in his own superstition, in the one case in which that superstition pointed to the truth—did Mother Oldershaw’s cunning triumph over difficulties and dangers which had never been contemplated by Mother Oldershaw herself.
Such was the outcome of the plan that had made Mr. Brock think the housemaid's face belonged to Miss Gwilt. And so—by shaking Midwinter’s confidence in his own belief, in the one instance where that belief aligned with the truth—Mother Oldershaw’s cleverness succeeded against challenges and risks that Mother Oldershaw herself had never anticipated.
XI. MISS GWILT AMONG THE QUICKSANDS.
1. From the Rev. Decimus Brock to Ozias Midwinter.
“Thursday.
Thursday.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—No words can tell what a relief it was to me to get your letter this morning, and what a happiness I honestly feel in having been thus far proved to be in the wrong. The precautions you have taken in case the woman should still confirm my apprehensions by venturing herself at Thorpe Ambrose seem to me to be all that can be desired. You are no doubt sure to hear of her from one or other of the people in the lawyer’s office, whom you have asked to inform you of the appearance of a stranger in the town.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—No words can express how relieved I was to receive your letter this morning, and how truly happy I feel to have been proven wrong so far. The measures you’ve taken in case the woman shows up and confirms my fears by coming to Thorpe Ambrose seem to be exactly what’s needed. You will undoubtedly hear from one of the people in the lawyer’s office whom you asked to notify you about any strangers in town.
“I am the more pleased at finding how entirely I can trust you in this matter; for I am likely to be obliged to leave Allan’s interests longer than I supposed solely in your hands. My visit to Thorpe Ambrose must, I regret to say, be deferred for two months. The only one of my brother-clergymen in London who is able to take my duty for me cannot make it convenient to remove with his family to Somersetshire before that time. I have no alternative but to finish my business here, and be back at my rectory on Saturday next. If anything happens, you will, of course, instantly communicate with me; and, in that case, be the inconvenience what it may, I must leave home for Thorpe Ambrose. If, on the other hand, all goes more smoothly than my own obstinate apprehensions will allow me to suppose, then Allan (to whom I have written) must not expect to see me till this day two months.
“I’m really glad to see how much I can trust you with this situation because it looks like I'll need to leave Allan’s interests in your hands longer than I thought. Unfortunately, I have to postpone my visit to Thorpe Ambrose for two months. The only one of my fellow clergymen in London who can cover for me isn’t able to move with his family to Somersetshire until then. I have no choice but to finish my business here and return to my rectory this Saturday. If anything comes up, please let me know right away; if that happens, no matter how inconvenient, I’ll have to leave home for Thorpe Ambrose. On the other hand, if everything goes more smoothly than my worries suggest, then Allan (I’ve already written to him) shouldn’t expect to see me until exactly two months from today.”
“No result has, up to this time, rewarded our exertions to recover the trace lost at the railway. I will keep my letter open, however, until post time, in case the next few hours bring any news.
“No result has, up to now, rewarded our efforts to recover the trace lost at the railway. I will keep my letter open, though, until it's time for the post, just in case the next few hours bring any news.
“Always truly yours,
"Always yours,"
“DECIMUS BROCK.
Decimus Brock.
“P. S.—I have just heard from the lawyers. They have found out the name the woman passed by in London. If this discovery (not a very important one, I am afraid) suggests any new course of proceeding to you, pray act on it at once. The name is—Miss Gwilt.”
“P. S.—I just heard from the lawyers. They’ve found out the name the woman went by in London. If this discovery (which isn’t very important, unfortunately) suggests any new way for you to proceed, please act on it right away. The name is—Miss Gwilt.”
2. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
2. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Saturday, June 28.
The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Saturday, June 28.
“If you will promise not to be alarmed, Mamma Oldershaw, I will begin this letter in a very odd way, by copying a page of a letter written by somebody else. You have an excellent memory, and you may not have forgotten that I received a note from Major Milroy’s mother (after she had engaged me as governess) on Monday last. It was dated and signed; and here it is, as far as the first page: ‘June 23d, 1851. Dear Madam—Pray excuse my troubling you, before you go to Thorpe Ambrose, with a word more about the habits observed in my son’s household. When I had the pleasure of seeing you at two o’clock to-day, in Kingsdown Crescent, I had another appointment in a distant part of London at three; and, in the hurry of the moment, one or two little matters escaped me which I think I ought to impress on your attention.’ The rest of the letter is not of the slightest importance, but the lines that I have just copied are well worthy of all the attention you can bestow on them. They have saved me from discovery, my dear, before I have been a week in Major Milroy’s service!
“If you promise not to be alarmed, Mamma Oldershaw, I’ll start this letter in a really unusual way—by copying a page from a letter written by someone else. You have a great memory, and you might remember that I received a note from Major Milroy’s mother (after she hired me as a governess) last Monday. It was dated and signed, and here it is, up to the first page: ‘June 23rd, 1851. Dear Madam—Please excuse my bothering you before you go to Thorpe Ambrose with a bit more information about the habits in my son’s household. When I had the pleasure of seeing you at two o’clock today in Kingsdown Crescent, I had another appointment across town at three; and in the rush of that moment, I forgot one or two small details that I think I should bring to your attention.’ The rest of the letter isn’t important at all, but the lines I just copied are definitely worth all the attention you can give them. They’ve saved me from being discovered, my dear, before I’ve even been a week in Major Milroy’s service!”
“It happened no later than yesterday evening, and it began and ended in this manner:
“It happened no later than yesterday evening, and it started and finished like this:
“There is a gentleman here, (of whom I shall have more to say presently) who is an intimate friend of young Armadale’s, and who bears the strange name of Midwinter. He contrived yesterday to speak to me alone in the park. Almost as soon as he opened his lips, I found that my name had been discovered in London (no doubt by the Somersetshire clergyman); and that Mr. Midwinter had been chosen (evidently by the same person) to identify the Miss Gwilt who had vanished from Brompton with the Miss Gwilt who had appeared at Thorpe Ambrose. You foresaw this danger, I remember; but you could scarcely have imagined that the exposure would threaten me so soon.
“There’s a guy here, (who I’ll tell you more about shortly) who is a close friend of young Armadale’s and has the unusual name of Midwinter. He managed to talk to me alone in the park yesterday. Almost as soon as he started speaking, I realized that my name had been discovered in London (probably by the Somersetshire clergyman); and that Mr. Midwinter had been selected (clearly by the same person) to confirm the identity of the Miss Gwilt who disappeared from Brompton and the Miss Gwilt who showed up at Thorpe Ambrose. You predicted this risk, I remember; but you probably didn’t think that the exposure would come for me so soon."
“I spare you the details of our conversation to come to the end. Mr. Midwinter put the matter very delicately, declaring, to my great surprise, that he felt quite certain himself that I was not the Miss Gwilt of whom his friend was in search; and that he only acted as he did out of regard to the anxiety of a person whose wishes he was bound to respect. Would I assist him in setting that anxiety completely at rest, as far as I was concerned, by kindly answering one plain question—which he had no other right to ask me than the right my indulgence might give him? The lost ‘Miss Gwilt’ had been missed on Monday last, at two o’clock, in the crowd on the platform of the North-western Railway, in Euston Square. Would I authorize him to say that on that day, and at that hour, the Miss Gwilt who was Major Milroy’s governess had never been near the place?
I’ll skip the details of our conversation to get to the point. Mr. Midwinter brought it up very tactfully, and to my surprise, he expressed that he was quite sure I wasn't the Miss Gwilt his friend was looking for. He said he was only acting out of respect for the worry of someone whose wishes he felt obligated to honor. Would I help ease that worry regarding me by answering one straightforward question—which he had no real right to ask except for the right my willingness might give him? The missing 'Miss Gwilt' was last seen the previous Monday at two o’clock, in the crowd on the platform of the North-western Railway in Euston Square. Would I give him permission to say that on that day, and at that time, the Miss Gwilt who was Major Milroy’s governess hadn’t been anywhere near there?
“I need hardly tell you that I seized the fine opportunity he had given me of disarming all future suspicion. I took a high tone on the spot, and met him with the old lady’s letter. He politely refused to look at it. I insisted on his looking at it. ‘I don’t choose to be mistaken,’ I said, ‘for a woman who may be a bad character, because she happens to bear, or to have assumed, the same name as mine. I insist on your reading the first part of this letter for my satisfaction, if not for your own.’ He was obliged to comply; and there was the proof, in the old lady’s handwriting, that, at two o’clock on Monday last, she and I were together in Kingsdown Crescent, which any directory would tell him is a ‘crescent’ in Bayswater! I leave you to imagine his apologies, and the perfect sweetness with which I received them.
“I hardly need to tell you that I jumped at the great chance he gave me to clear up any future doubts. I took a strong stance right then and confronted him with the old lady’s letter. He politely refused to look at it. I insisted he read it. ‘I won’t be mistaken,’ I said, ‘for a woman who might be of questionable character just because she has, or has taken on, the same name as mine. I insist you read the first part of this letter for my peace of mind, if not for yours.’ He had no choice but to comply; and there was the proof, in the old lady’s handwriting, that at two o’clock on the previous Monday, she and I were together in Kingsdown Crescent, which any directory would confirm is a ‘crescent’ in Bayswater! I’ll let you imagine his apologies and the complete grace with which I accepted them.”
“I might, of course, if I had not preserved the letter, have referred him to you, or to the major’s mother, with similar results. As it is, the object has been gained without trouble or delay. I have been proved not to be myself; and one of the many dangers that threatened me at Thorpe Ambrose is a danger blown over from this moment. Your house-maid’s face may not be a very handsome one; but there is no denying that it has done us excellent service.
“I could have referred him to you, or to the major’s mom, with the same results, if I hadn’t kept the letter. But as it stands, the goal has been achieved easily and quickly. I have been shown not to be myself; and one of the many dangers I faced at Thorpe Ambrose has now passed. Your housemaid’s face might not be the prettiest, but there’s no denying that it has been extremely helpful.”
“So much for the past; now for the future. You shall hear how I get on with the people about me; and you shall judge for yourself what the chances are for and against my becoming mistress of Thorpe Ambrose.
“So much for the past; now for the future. You'll hear how I get along with the people around me; and you can decide for yourself what the chances are for and against my becoming the mistress of Thorpe Ambrose.
“Let me begin with young Armadale—because it is beginning with good news. I have produced the right impression on him already, and Heaven knows that is nothing to boast of! Any moderately good-looking woman who chose to take the trouble could make him fall in love with her. He is a rattle-pated young fool—one of those noisy, rosy, light-haired, good-tempered men whom I particularly detest. I had a whole hour alone with him in a boat, the first day I came here, and I have made good use of my time, I can tell you, from that day to this. The only difficulty with him is the difficulty of concealing my own feelings, especially when he turns my dislike of him into downright hatred by sometimes reminding me of his mother. I really never saw a man whom I could use so ill, if I had the opportunity. He will give me the opportunity, I believe, if no accident happens, sooner than we calculated on. I have just returned from a party at the great house, in celebration of the rent-day dinner, and the squire’s attentions to me, and my modest reluctance to receive them, have already excited general remark.
“Let me start with young Armadale—because it’s starting with good news. I’ve made a decent impression on him already, and honestly, that’s not something to brag about! Any somewhat attractive woman who bothered to try could make him fall for her. He’s a silly young fool—one of those loud, rosy-cheeked, fair-haired, easygoing guys that I really can’t stand. I had a whole hour alone with him in a boat on the first day I got here, and I’ve made good use of my time, I can tell you, from that day until now. The only challenge with him is hiding my own feelings, especially when he turns my dislike into outright hatred by occasionally reminding me of his mother. I truly never met a man I could mistreat so easily if I had the chance. I think he will give me that chance sooner than we expected, as long as nothing goes wrong. I just got back from a party at the big house for the rent-day dinner, and the squire’s attention towards me, along with my modest reluctance to accept it, has already caught people’s notice.”
“My pupil, Miss Milroy, comes next. She, too, is rosy and foolish; and, what is more, awkward and squat and freckled, and ill-tempered and ill-dressed. No fear of her, though she hates me like poison, which is a great comfort, for I get rid of her out of lesson time and walking time. It is perfectly easy to see that she has made the most of her opportunities with young Armadale (opportunities, by-the-by, which we never calculated on), and that she has been stupid enough to let him slip through her fingers. When I tell you that she is obliged, for the sake of appearances, to go with her father and me to the little entertainments at Thorpe Ambrose, and to see how young Armadale admires me, you will understand the kind of place I hold in her affections. She would try me past all endurance if I didn’t see that I aggravate her by keeping my temper, so, of course, I keep it. If I do break out, it will be over our lessons—not over our French, our grammar, history, and globes—but over our music. No words can say how I feel for her poor piano. Half the musical girls in England ought to have their fingers chopped off in the interests of society, and, if I had my way, Miss Milroy’s fingers should be executed first.
"My student, Miss Milroy, comes next. She’s also rosy and naive; plus, she's awkward, short, freckled, grumpy, and poorly dressed. I’m not worried about her, even though she loathes me, which is a relief since it means I can avoid her during lesson time and breaks. It's obvious that she’s tried to make the most of her chances with young Armadale (chances we never even considered), and she’s been foolish enough to let him slip away. When I tell you that she has to go with her father and me to the little events at Thorpe Ambrose to maintain appearances and watch how young Armadale admires me, you’ll get the idea of how she feels about me. She would drive me to my limits if I didn’t realize that keeping my cool frustrates her, so, of course, I keep calm. If I do lose my temper, it’ll be during our lessons—not about our French, grammar, history, or globes—but over our music. There are no words to express how I feel about her poor piano. Half the musical girls in England should have their fingers chopped off for the good of society, and if it were up to me, Miss Milroy's fingers would be the first to go."
“As for the major, I can hardly stand higher in his estimation than I stand already. I am always ready to make his breakfast, and his daughter is not. I can always find things for him when he loses them, and his daughter can’t. I never yawn when he proses, and his daughter does. I like the poor dear harmless old gentleman, so I won’t say a word more about him.
“As for the major, I can hardly be held in higher regard than I already am. I’m always ready to make his breakfast, while his daughter isn’t. I can always help him find things when he misplaces them, but his daughter can’t. I never yawn when he goes on about things, but his daughter does. I like the poor dear, harmless old gentleman, so I won’t say another word about him.”
“Well, here is a fair prospect for the future surely? My good Oldershaw, there never was a prospect yet without an ugly place in it. My prospect has two ugly places in it. The name of one of them is Mrs. Milroy, and the name of the other is Mr. Midwinter.
“Well, here’s a pretty good outlook for the future, right? My good Oldershaw, there’s never been a prospect that didn’t have a downside. My outlook has two downsides in it. One of them is Mrs. Milroy, and the other is Mr. Midwinter.
“Mrs. Milroy first. Before I had been five minutes in the cottage, on the day of my arrival, what do you think she did? She sent downstairs and asked to see me. The message startled me a little, after hearing from the old lady, in London, that her daughter-in-law was too great a sufferer to see anybody; but, of course, when I got her message, I had no choice but to go up stairs to the sick-room. I found her bedridden with an incurable spinal complaint, and a really horrible object to look at, but with all her wits about her; and, if I am not greatly mistaken, as deceitful a woman, with as vile a temper, as you could find anywhere in all your long experience. Her excessive politeness, and her keeping her own face in the shade of the bed-curtains while she contrived to keep mine in the light, put me on my guard the moment I entered the room. We were more than half an hour together, without my stepping into any one of the many clever little traps she laid for me. The only mystery in her behavior, which I failed to see through at the time, was her perpetually asking me to bring her things (things she evidently did not want) from different parts of the room.
“Mrs. Milroy first. Before I had been in the cottage for five minutes on the day I arrived, guess what she did? She sent downstairs to ask to see me. The message surprised me a bit since I had heard from the old lady in London that her daughter-in-law was too much in pain to see anyone; but, of course, when I got her message, I had no choice but to head up to the sick room. I found her confined to bed with a serious spinal condition, and honestly not a pleasant sight, but she was completely aware of everything; and, if I'm not mistaken, as deceitful and ill-tempered a woman as you could find in all your long experience. Her excessive politeness and the way she kept her own face in the shadows of the bed curtains while making sure mine stayed in the light put me on guard the moment I walked into the room. We spent over half an hour together, and I didn’t fall for any of the clever little traps she set for me. The only mystery in her behavior that I couldn’t figure out at the time was her constant asking me to fetch her things (things she clearly didn't want) from different parts of the room.”
“Since then events have enlightened me. My first suspicions were raised by overhearing some of the servants’ gossip; and I have been confirmed in my opinion by the conduct of Mrs. Milroy’s nurse.
“Since then, events have opened my eyes. My first suspicions were sparked by overhearing some gossip from the servants, and my opinion has been reinforced by the behavior of Mrs. Milroy’s nurse."
“On the few occasions when I have happened to be alone with the major, the nurse has also happened to want something of her master, and has invariably forgotten to announce her appearance by knocking, at the door. Do you understand now why Mrs. Milroy sent for me the moment I got into the house, and what she wanted when she kept me going backward and forward, first for one thing and then for another? There is hardly an attractive light in which my face and figure can be seen, in which that woman’s jealous eyes have not studied them already. I am no longer puzzled to know why the father and daughter started, and looked at each other, when I was first presented to them; or why the servants still stare at me with a mischievous expectation in their eyes when I ring the bell and ask them to do anything. It is useless to disguise the truth, Mother Oldershaw, between you and me. When I went upstairs into that sickroom, I marched blindfold into the clutches of a jealous woman. If Mrs. Milroy can turn me out of the house, Mrs. Milroy will; and, morning and night, she has nothing else to do in that bed prison of hers but to find out the way.
“On the few occasions when I've found myself alone with the major, the nurse has also needed something from her boss, and she always forgets to announce her arrival by knocking on the door. Do you see now why Mrs. Milroy called for me the moment I got into the house, and what she meant when she kept sending me back and forth, first for one thing and then another? There’s hardly any flattering angle in which my face and figure can be seen that that woman’s jealous eyes haven’t already scrutinized. I'm no longer confused about why the father and daughter jumped and looked at each other when I was introduced to them; or why the servants still watch me with a mischievous anticipation in their eyes when I ring the bell and ask them to do anything. It's pointless to hide the truth, Mother Oldershaw, between us. When I went upstairs to that sickroom, I walked blindly into the grip of a jealous woman. If Mrs. Milroy can kick me out of the house, Mrs. Milroy will; and day and night, she has nothing else to do in that bed prison of hers but figure out how to do it.”
“In this awkward position, my own cautious conduct is admirably seconded by the dear old major’s perfect insensibility. His wife’s jealousy of him is as monstrous a delusion as any that could be found in a mad-house; it is the growth of her own vile temper, under the aggravation of an incurable illness. The poor man hasn’t a thought beyond his mechanical pursuits; and I don’t believe he knows at this moment whether I am a handsome woman or not. With this chance to help me, I may hope to set the nurse’s intrusions and the mistress’s contrivances at defiance—for a time, at any rate. But you know what a jealous woman is, and I think I know what Mrs. Milroy is; and I own I shall breathe more freely on the day when young Armadale opens his foolish lips to some purpose, and sets the major advertising for a new governess.
“In this awkward situation, my own careful behavior is wonderfully complemented by the old major’s complete oblivion. His wife’s jealousy towards him is as outrageous a misconception as anything you’d find in a mental hospital; it stems from her own terrible temper, worsened by a chronic illness. The poor man doesn’t have a thought beyond his routine activities; I don’t even think he realizes right now whether I’m an attractive woman or not. With this opportunity to assist me, I might be able to defy the nurse’s interruptions and the mistress’s schemes—for a little while, at least. But you know how jealous women can be, and I believe I have a grasp on what Mrs. Milroy is like; I admit I’ll feel much more at ease when young Armadale finally opens his foolish mouth to say something meaningful, and prompts the major to look for a new governess.”
“Armadale’s name reminds me of Armadale’s friend. There is more danger threatening in that quarter; and, what is worse, I don’t feel half as well armed beforehand against Mr. Midwinter as I do against Mrs. Milroy.
“Armadale’s name makes me think of Armadale’s friend. There’s definitely more danger coming from that side, and what’s worse is that I don’t feel nearly as prepared for Mr. Midwinter as I do for Mrs. Milroy.”
“Everything about this man is more or less mysterious, which I don’t like, to begin with. How does he come to be in the confidence of the Somersetshire clergyman? How much has that clergyman told him? How is it that he was so firmly persuaded, when he spoke to me in the park, that I was not the Miss Gwilt of whom his friend was in search? I haven’t the ghost of an answer to give to any of those three questions. I can’t even discover who he is, or how he and young Armadale first became acquainted. I hate him. No, I don’t; I only want to find out about him. He is very young, little and lean, and active and dark, with bright black eyes which say to me plainly, ‘We belong to a man with brains in his head and a will of his own; a man who hasn’t always been hanging about a country house, in attendance on a fool.’ Yes; I am positively certain Mr. Midwinter has done something or suffered something in his past life, young as he is; and I would give I don’t know what to get at it. Don’t resent my taking up so much space in my writing about him. He has influence enough over young Armadale to be a very awkward obstacle in my way, unless I can secure his good opinion at starting.
“Everything about this guy is more or less a mystery, which I really don’t like, to start with. How did he gain the trust of the Somersetshire clergyman? What has that clergyman shared with him? Why was he so sure, when he spoke to me in the park, that I wasn’t the Miss Gwilt his friend was looking for? I don’t have the slightest clue to answer any of those three questions. I can’t even find out who he is, or how he and young Armadale first met. I can’t stand him. No, that’s not true; I just want to learn more about him. He’s very young, small, lean, active, and dark, with bright black eyes that clearly say, ‘I belong to a guy with brains and his own will; a guy who hasn’t always been hanging around a country house, serving a fool.’ Yes; I’m absolutely sure Mr. Midwinter has done something or experienced something significant in his past, despite being so young; and I’d give anything to find out what it is. Don’t be upset that I’ve spent so much time writing about him. He has enough influence over young Armadale to be a real obstacle for me unless I can win his good opinion right from the start.”
“Well, you may ask, and what is to prevent your securing his good opinion? I am sadly afraid, Mother Oldershaw, I have got it on terms I never bargained for I am sadly afraid the man is in love with me already.
“Well, you might ask, what’s stopping you from earning his good opinion? I’m really worried, Mother Oldershaw, that I’ve gotten it under terms I never agreed to. I’m really worried the man is already in love with me.”
“Don’t toss your head and say, ‘Just like her vanity!’ After the horrors I have gone through, I have no vanity left; and a man who admires me is a man who makes me shudder. There was a time, I own—Pooh! what am I writing? Sentiment, I declare! Sentiment to you! Laugh away, my dear. As for me, I neither laugh nor cry; I mend my pen, and get on with my—what do the men call it?—my report.
“Don’t roll your eyes and say, ‘Just like her vanity!’ After all the horrors I’ve been through, I have no vanity left; and a man who admires me is someone who creeps me out. There was a time, I admit—Ugh! What am I even writing? Sentiment, I swear! Sentiment to you! Go ahead, laugh, my dear. As for me, I neither laugh nor cry; I fix my pen and get on with my—what do the guys call it?—my report.
“The only thing worth inquiring is, whether I am right or wrong in my idea of the impression I have made on him.
“The only thing worth asking is whether I'm right or wrong about the impression I made on him."
“Let me see; I have been four times in his company. The first time was in the major’s garden, where we met unexpectedly, face to face. He stood looking at me, like a man petrified, without speaking a word. The effect of my horrid red hair, perhaps? Quite likely; let us lay it on my hair. The second time was in going over the Thorpe Ambrose grounds, with young Armadale on one side of me, and my pupil (in the sulks) on the other. Out comes Mr. Midwinter to join us, though he had work to do in the steward’s office, which he had never been known to neglect on any other occasion. Laziness, possibly? or an attachment to Miss Milroy? I can’t say; we will lay it on Miss Milroy, if you like; I only know he did nothing but look at me. The third time was at the private interview in the park, which I have told you of already. I never saw a man so agitated at putting a delicate question to a woman in my life. But that might have been only awkwardness; and his perpetually looking back after me when we had parted might have been only looking back at the view. Lay it on the view; by all means, lay it on the view! The fourth time was this very evening, at the little party. They made me play; and, as the piano was a good one, I did my best. All the company crowded round me, and paid me their compliments (my charming pupil paid hers, with a face like a cat’s just before she spits), except Mr. Midwinter. He waited till it was time to go, and then he caught me alone for a moment in the hall. There was just time for him to take my hand, and say two words. Shall I tell you how he took my hand, and what his voice sounded like when he spoke? Quite needless! You have always told me that the late Mr. Oldershaw doted on you. Just recall the first time he took your hand, and whispered a word or two addressed to your private ear. To what did you attribute his behavior that occasion? I have no doubt, if you had been playing on the piano in the course of the evening, you would have attributed it entirely to the music!
“Let me think; I’ve been with him four times. The first time was in the major’s garden, where we met unexpectedly, face to face. He just stood there staring at me, like someone frozen in place, without saying a word. Maybe it was because of my horrible red hair? That’s probably it; let’s blame it on my hair. The second time was while walking through the Thorpe Ambrose grounds, with young Armadale on one side and my sulking pupil on the other. Mr. Midwinter came out to join us, even though he usually never neglects his duties in the steward’s office. Maybe it was laziness? Or maybe he likes Miss Milroy? I can't say for sure; we can blame it on Miss Milroy if you want. All I know is he couldn’t take his eyes off me. The third time was during our private talk in the park, which I’ve already told you about. I’ve never seen a man so nervous about asking a woman a delicate question. But that could have just been awkwardness; and the way he kept looking back at me when we parted might have just been him admiring the view. Let’s say it was the view; definitely, let’s say it was the view! The fourth time was tonight, at the little gathering. They made me play the piano, and since it was a good instrument, I did my best. Everyone crowded around me and gave me compliments (my charming pupil gave hers with a face like a cat right before it hisses), except for Mr. Midwinter. He waited until it was time to leave, and then he caught me alone for a moment in the hallway. There was just enough time for him to take my hand and say a couple of words. Should I describe how he held my hand and what his voice was like when he spoke? Not necessary! You’ve always said that the late Mr. Oldershaw was infatuated with you. Just think back to the first time he took your hand and whispered a few words just for you. What did you think of his behavior back then? I’m sure if you’d been playing the piano that evening, you would have credited it entirely to the music!
“No! you may take my word for it, the harm is done. This man is no rattle-pated fool, who changes his fancies as readily as he changes his clothes. The fire that lights those big black eyes of his is not an easy fire, when a woman has once kindled it, for that woman to put out. I don’t wish to discourage you; I don’t say the changes are against us. But with Mrs. Milroy threatening me on one side, and Mr. Midwinter on the other, the worst of all risks to run is the risk of losing time. Young Armadale has hinted already, as well as such a lout can hint, at a private interview! Miss Milroy’s eyes are sharp, and the nurse’s eyes are sharper; and I shall lose my place if either of them find me out. No matter! I must take my chance, and give him the interview. Only let me get him alone, only let me escape the prying eyes of the women, and—if his friend doesn’t come between us—I answer for the result!
“No! You can trust me on this, the damage is done. This man isn’t some scatterbrained fool who changes his mind as easily as he changes his clothes. The fire that shines in those big black eyes of his isn’t a simple one; once a woman ignites it, it’s not easy for her to extinguish it. I don’t want to discourage you; I’m not saying the changes are against us. But with Mrs. Milroy threatening me on one side and Mr. Midwinter on the other, the worst risk is wasting time. Young Armadale has already hinted, as clumsily as he can, at a private meeting! Miss Milroy has sharp eyes, and the nurse’s eyes are even sharper; I’ll lose my position if either of them catches me. No matter! I have to take my chance and give him the meeting. Just let me get him alone, just let me avoid the watchful eyes of the women, and—if his friend doesn’t interrupt us—I’m sure of the outcome!
“In the meantime, have I anything more to tell you? Are there any other people in our way at Thorpe Ambrose? Not another creature! None of the resident families call here, young Armadale being, most fortunately, in bad odor in the neighborhood. There are no handsome highly-bred women to come to the house, and no persons of consequence to protest against his attentions to a governess. The only guests he could collect at his party to-night were the lawyer and his family (a wife, a son, and two daughters), and a deaf old woman and her son—all perfectly unimportant people, and all obedient humble servants of the stupid young squire.
“In the meantime, is there anything else I need to tell you? Are there any other people causing problems at Thorpe Ambrose? Not a single soul! None of the local families visit, and luckily, young Armadale is not well-liked in the area. There aren't any attractive, high-class women coming to the house, and no important individuals to object to his interest in a governess. The only guests he managed to gather for his party tonight were the lawyer and his family (a wife, a son, and two daughters), along with a deaf old woman and her son—all completely insignificant people, all dutifully serving the foolish young squire.
“Talking of obedient humble servants, there is one other person established here, who is employed in the steward’s office—a miserable, shabby, dilapidated old man, named Bashwood. He is a perfect stranger to me, and I am evidently a perfect stranger to him, for he has been asking the house-maid at the cottage who I am. It is paying no great compliment to myself to confess it, but it is not the less true that I produced the most extraordinary impression on this feeble old creature the first time he saw me. He turned all manner of colors, and stood trembling and staring at me, as if there was something perfectly frightful in my face. I felt quite startled for the moment, for, of all the ways in which men have looked at me, no man ever looked at me in that way before. Did you ever see the boa constrictor fed at the Zoological Gardens? They put a live rabbit into his cage, and there is a moment when the two creatures look at each other. I declare Mr. Bashwood reminded me of the rabbit.
“Speaking of obedient and humble servants, there’s another person here who works in the steward’s office—a miserable, shabby, worn-out old man named Bashwood. He’s a total stranger to me, and I’m clearly a total stranger to him since he’s been asking the housemaid at the cottage who I am. It’s not exactly flattering to admit this, but it’s true that I left the most bizarre impression on this frail old man the first time he saw me. He turned all sorts of colors and stood there trembling and staring at me as if there was something terrifying about my face. I was quite taken aback for a moment, because, in all the ways men have looked at me, no one has ever looked at me like that before. Have you ever seen a boa constrictor being fed at the Zoo? They drop a live rabbit into its cage, and there’s a moment when the two creatures lock eyes. I swear Mr. Bashwood reminded me of that rabbit.”
“Why do I mention this? I don’t know why. Perhaps I have been writing too long, and my head is beginning to fail me. Perhaps Mr. Bashwood’s manner of admiring me strikes my fancy by its novelty. Absurd! I am exciting myself, and troubling you about nothing. Oh, what a weary, long letter I have written! and how brightly the stars look at me through the window, and how awfully quiet the night is! Send me some more of those sleeping drops, and write me one of your nice, wicked, amusing letters. You shall hear from me again as soon as I know a little better how it is all likely to end. Good-night, and keep a corner in your stony old heart for
“Why do I bring this up? I’m not really sure. Maybe I’ve been writing for too long, and it’s starting to mess with my head. Or maybe Mr. Bashwood’s way of admiring me is just so different that it catches my attention. It’s ridiculous! I’m getting worked up over nothing, and bothering you for no reason. Wow, what a long, tiresome letter I’ve written! The stars look so bright through the window, and the night is so eerily quiet! Please send me more of those sleeping drops, and write me one of your fun, wicked letters. I’ll get back to you as soon as I have a better idea of how this is all going to turn out. Goodnight, and keep a little space in your cold old heart for
“L. G.”
“L. G.”
3. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
3. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Diana Street, Pimlico, Monday.
Diana Street, Pimlico, Monday.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—I am in no state of mind to write you an amusing letter. Your news is very discouraging, and the recklessness of your tone quite alarms me. Consider the money I have already advanced, and the interests we both have at stake. Whatever else you are, don’t be reckless, for Heaven’s sake!
“MY DEAR LYDIA—I’m not in the right frame of mind to write you a funny letter. Your news is really discouraging, and your careless tone worries me. Think about the money I’ve already given you and what we both have on the line. Whatever else you may be, please don't be reckless, for heaven’s sake!”
“What can I do? I ask myself, as a woman of business, what can I do to help you? I can’t give you advice, for I am not on the spot, and I don’t know how circumstances may alter from one day to another. Situated as we are now, I can only be useful in one way. I can discover a new obstacle that threatens you, and I think I can remove it.
“What can I do? I ask myself, as a businesswoman, what can I do to help you? I can’t give you advice because I’m not there, and I don’t know how situations might change from day to day. Given our current situation, I can only be helpful in one way. I can find a new obstacle that threatens you, and I believe I can eliminate it.
“You say, with great truth, that there never was a prospect yet without an ugly place in it, and that there are two ugly places in your prospect. My dear, there may be three ugly places, if I don’t bestir myself to prevent it; and the name of the third place will be—Brock! Is it possible you can refer, as you have done, to the Somersetshire clergyman, and not see that the progress you make with young Armadale will be, sooner or later, reported to him by young Armadale’s friend? Why, now I think of it, you are doubly at the parson’s mercy! You are at the mercy of any fresh suspicion which may bring him into the neighborhood himself at a day’s notice; and you are at the mercy of his interference the moment he hears that the squire is committing himself with a neighbor’s governess. If I can do nothing else, I can keep this additional difficulty out of your way. And oh, Lydia, with what alacrity I shall exert myself, after the manner in which the old wretch insulted me when I told him that pitiable story in the street! I declare I tingle with pleasure at this new prospect of making a fool of Mr. Brock.
“You’re absolutely right that there’s never a view without an ugly spot, and that there are two ugly spots in your view. My dear, there might be three ugly spots if I don’t take action to stop it; and the name of the third spot will be—Brock! Can you really mention the Somersetshire clergyman and not see that whatever progress you make with young Armadale will eventually be reported to him by Armadale’s friend? Now that I think about it, you’re doubly at the mercy of the parson! You’re at the mercy of any new suspicion that could bring him into the area at a moment’s notice, and you’re also at the mercy of his interference as soon as he hears that the squire is getting involved with a neighbor’s governess. If I can’t do anything else, I can keep this extra complication out of your way. And oh, Lydia, how eager I will be to act after the way that old creep insulted me when I shared that sad story in the street! I swear I get a thrill just thinking about this new chance to make a fool out of Mr. Brock."
“And how is it to be done? Just as we have done it already, to be sure. He has lost ‘Miss Gwilt’ (otherwise my house-maid), hasn’t he? Very well. He shall find her again, wherever he is now, suddenly settled within easy reach of him. As long as she stops in the place, he will stop in it; and as we know he is not at Thorpe Ambrose, there you are free of him! The old gentleman’s suspicions have given us a great deal of trouble so far. Let us turn them to some profitable account at last; let us tie him, by his suspicions, to my house-maid’s apron-string. Most refreshing. Quite a moral retribution, isn’t it?
“And how is this going to happen? Just like we’ve done it before, of course. He’s lost ‘Miss Gwilt’ (aka my housemaid), right? That’s fine. He’ll find her again, wherever he is now, suddenly close enough to reach her. As long as she stays in the area, he will stay too; and since we know he’s not at Thorpe Ambrose, you’re free of him! The old gentleman’s suspicions have caused us a lot of trouble so far. Let’s finally make those work for us; let’s tie him, through his suspicions, to my housemaid’s apron-string. Quite refreshing. A nice moral payback, isn’t it?
“The only help I need trouble you for is help you can easily give. Find out from Mr. Midwinter where the parson is now, and let me know by return of post. If he is in London, I will personally assist my housemaid in the necessary mystification of him. If he is anywhere else, I will send her after him, accompanied by a person on whose discretion I can implicitly rely.
“The only help I need to ask from you is something you can easily provide. Please find out from Mr. Midwinter where the parson is right now, and let me know by return mail. If he’s in London, I will personally help my housemaid with the necessary deception. If he’s somewhere else, I’ll send her after him, along with someone I can completely trust to keep it discreet.”
“You shall have the sleeping drops to-morrow. In the meantime, I say at the end what I said at the beginning—no recklessness. Don’t encourage poetical feelings by looking at the stars; and don’t talk about the night being awfully quiet. There are people (in observatories) paid to look at the stars for you; leave it to them. And as for the night, do what Providence intended you to do with the night when Providence provided you with eyelids—go to sleep in it. Affectionately yours,
“You’ll get the sleeping pills tomorrow. In the meantime, I’ll repeat what I said at the beginning—no reckless behavior. Don’t inspire poetic feelings by staring at the stars; and don’t mention how eerily quiet the night is. There are people (at observatories) paid to gaze at the stars for you; let them handle it. And as for the night, do what Providence intended when it gave you eyelids—go to sleep in it. Affectionately yours,
“MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
"Maria Oldershaw."
4. From the Reverend Decimus Brock to Ozias Midwinter.
4. From Reverend Decimus Brock to Ozias Midwinter.
“Bascombe Rectory, West Somerset, Thursday, July 8.
“Bascombe Rectory, West Somerset, Thursday, July 8.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—One line before the post goes out, to relieve you of all sense of responsibility at Thorpe Ambrose, and to make my apologies to the lady who lives as governess in Major Milroy’s family.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—Just a quick note before the post goes out, to free you from any responsibility at Thorpe Ambrose, and to apologize to the lady who works as a governess in Major Milroy’s family.
“The Miss Gwilt—or perhaps I ought to say, the woman calling herself by that name—has, to my unspeakable astonishment, openly made her appearance here, in my own parish! She is staying at the inn, accompanied by a plausible-looking man, who passes as her brother. What this audacious proceeding really means—unless it marks a new step in the conspiracy against Allan, taken under new advice—is, of course, more than I can yet find out.
“The Miss Gwilt—or maybe I should say, the woman using that name—has, to my utter shock, appeared here, in my own parish! She’s staying at the inn, accompanied by a seemingly trustworthy man, who claims to be her brother. What this bold move really signifies—unless it represents a new phase in the conspiracy against Allan, influenced by new advice—is, of course, beyond my current understanding.”
“My own idea is, that they have recognized the impossibility of getting at Allan, without finding me (or you) as an obstacle in their way; and that they are going to make a virtue of necessity by boldly trying to open their communications through me. The man looks capable of any stretch of audacity; and both he and the woman had the impudence to bow when I met them in the village half an hour since. They have been making inquiries already about Allan’s mother here, where her exemplary life may set their closest scrutiny at defiance. If they will only attempt to extort money, as the price of the woman’s silence on the subject of poor Mrs. Armadale’s conduct in Madeira at the time of her marriage, they will find me well prepared for them beforehand. I have written by this post to my lawyers to send a competent man to assist me, and he will stay at the rectory, in any character which he thinks it safest to assume under present circumstances.
“My idea is that they’ve realized it’s impossible to get to Allan without dealing with me (or you) as a barrier in their way; and they plan to turn this situation to their advantage by trying to communicate through me. The guy seems capable of any level of boldness, and both he and the woman had the nerve to greet me when I ran into them in the village half an hour ago. They’ve already started asking questions about Allan’s mother here, where her outstanding reputation might withstand their closest scrutiny. If they decide to try to blackmail me for the woman’s silence about poor Mrs. Armadale’s behavior in Madeira during her marriage, they’ll find I’m ready for them. I’ve written to my lawyers in this mail to send a skilled person to help me, and he’ll stay at the rectory, taking on whatever role he thinks is safest given the situation.”
“You shall hear what happens in the next day or two.
You will find out what happens in the next day or two.
“Always truly yours, DECIMUS BROCK.”
"Always yours, DECIMUS BROCK."
XII. THE CLOUDING OF THE SKY.
Nine days had passed, and the tenth day was nearly at an end, since Miss Gwilt and her pupil had taken their morning walk in the cottage garden.
Nine days had gone by, and the tenth day was almost over, since Miss Gwilt and her student had taken their morning walk in the cottage garden.
The night was overcast. Since sunset, there had been signs in the sky from which the popular forecast had predicted rain. The reception-rooms at the great house were all empty and dark. Allan was away, passing the evening with the Milroys; and Midwinter was waiting his return—not where Midwinter usually waited, among the books in the library, but in the little back room which Allan’s mother had inhabited in the last days of her residence at Thorpe Ambrose.
The night was cloudy. Since sunset, there had been hints in the sky that led to the popular forecast predicting rain. The reception rooms in the big house were all empty and dark. Allan was out spending the evening with the Milroys, and Midwinter was waiting for him to come back— not in his usual spot among the books in the library, but in the small back room where Allan’s mother had stayed during her final days at Thorpe Ambrose.
Nothing had been taken away, but much had been added to the room, since Midwinter had first seen it. The books which Mrs. Armadale had left behind her, the furniture, the old matting on the floor, the old paper on the walls, were all undisturbed. The statuette of Niobe still stood on its bracket, and the French window still opened on the garden. But now, to the relics left by the mother, were added the personal possessions belonging to the son. The wall, bare hitherto, was decorated with water-color drawings—with a portrait of Mrs. Armadale supported on one side by a view of the old house in Somersetshire, and on the other by a picture of the yacht. Among the books which bore in faded ink Mrs. Armadale’s inscriptions, “From my father,” were other books inscribed in the same handwriting, in brighter ink, “To my son.” Hanging to the wall, ranged on the chimney-piece, scattered over the table, were a host of little objects, some associated with Allan’s past life, others necessary to his daily pleasures and pursuits, and all plainly testifying that the room which he habitually occupied at Thorpe Ambrose was the very room which had once recalled to Midwinter the second vision of the dream. Here, strangely unmoved by the scene around him, so lately the object of his superstitious distrust, Allan’s friend now waited composedly for Allan’s return; and here, more strangely still, he looked on a change in the household arrangements, due in the first instance entirely to himself. His own lips had revealed the discovery which he had made on the first morning in the new house; his own voluntary act had induced the son to establish himself in the mother’s room.
Nothing had been taken away, but a lot had been added to the room since Midwinter first saw it. The books that Mrs. Armadale left behind, the furniture, the old matting on the floor, and the old wallpaper on the walls were all untouched. The statuette of Niobe was still on its bracket, and the French window still opened to the garden. But now, along with the items left by the mother, there were personal belongings belonging to the son. The previously bare wall was decorated with watercolor paintings—a portrait of Mrs. Armadale on one side, paired with a view of the old house in Somersetshire, and on the other side, a picture of the yacht. Among the books that had Mrs. Armadale’s inscriptions in faded ink, “From my father,” were other books inscribed in the same handwriting, but in brighter ink, saying, “To my son.” Hanging on the wall, arranged on the mantelpiece, and scattered across the table were a multitude of little objects—some tied to Allan's past life, others essential to his daily joys and activities—all clearly showing that the room he regularly occupied at Thorpe Ambrose was the same room that had once reminded Midwinter of the second vision of the dream. Here, oddly unaffected by the surroundings that had recently triggered his superstitious distrust, Allan’s friend now calmly awaited Allan’s return; and here, even more strangely, he observed a change in the household setup that was originally entirely due to him. His own lips had revealed the discovery he made on the first morning in the new house; his own choice had led the son to settle into the mother’s room.
Under what motives had he spoken the words? Under no motives which were not the natural growth of the new interests and the new hopes that now animated him.
Under what reasons had he said those words? Under no reasons that were not the natural outcome of the new interests and new hopes that now inspired him.
The entire change wrought in his convictions by the memorable event that had brought him face to face with Miss Gwilt was a change which it was not in his nature to hide from Allan’s knowledge. He had spoken openly, and had spoken as it was in his character to speak. The merit of conquering his superstition was a merit which he shrank from claiming, until he had first unsparingly exposed that superstition in its worst and weakest aspects to view.
The shift in his beliefs caused by the unforgettable encounter with Miss Gwilt was something he couldn't hide from Allan. He had been open about it, as was his nature. He hesitated to take credit for overcoming his superstition until he had fully revealed that superstition in its most flawed and vulnerable forms.
It was only after he had unreservedly acknowledged the impulse under which he had left Allan at the Mere, that he had taken credit to himself for the new point of view from which he could now look at the Dream. Then, and not till then, he had spoken of the fulfillment of the first Vision as the doctor at the Isle of Man might have spoken of it. He had asked, as the doctor might have asked, Where was the wonder of their seeing a pool at sunset, when they had a whole network of pools within a few hours’ drive of them? and what was there extraordinary in discovering a woman at the Mere, when there were roads that led to it, and villages in its neighborhood, and boats employed on it, and pleasure parties visiting it? So again, he had waited to vindicate the firmer resolution with which he looked to the future, until he had first revealed all that he now saw himself of the errors of the past. The abandonment of his friend’s interests, the unworthiness of the confidence that had given him the steward’s place, the forgetfulness of the trust that Mr. Brock had reposed in him all implied in the one idea of leaving Allan—were all pointed out. The glaring self-contradictions betrayed in accepting the Dream as the revelation of a fatality, and in attempting to escape that fatality by an exertion of free-will—in toiling to store up knowledge of the steward’s duties for the future, and in shrinking from letting the future find him in Allan’s house—were, in their turn, unsparingly exposed. To every error, to every inconsistency, he resolutely confessed, before he ventured on the last simple appeal which closed all, “Will you trust me in the future? Will you forgive and forget the past?”
It was only after he fully acknowledged the impulse that had led him to leave Allan at the Mere that he felt justified in seeing the Dream from a new perspective. Only then did he talk about the fulfillment of the first Vision as a doctor on the Isle of Man might have done. He asked, just like the doctor might have, where the wonder was in seeing a pool at sunset when they had an entire network of pools within a few hours' drive? And what was so remarkable about finding a woman at the Mere when there were roads leading to it, nearby villages, boats operating on it, and pleasure trips visiting it? He also held back from affirming the stronger resolve he had for the future until he had first laid bare everything he could now recognize about the mistakes of the past. The neglect of his friend's interests, the unworthiness of the trust that had placed him in the steward's position, and his forgetfulness of the faith Mr. Brock had placed in him, all captured in the single act of leaving Allan—were all laid bare. The obvious contradictions in accepting the Dream as a sign of fate while trying to escape that fate through his own choices—in working to gain knowledge of the steward's responsibilities for the future, yet avoiding the future that awaited him at Allan's house—were also brutally unpacked. He honestly confessed to every mistake and inconsistency before he made his final simple plea that wrapped everything up, “Will you trust me in the future? Will you forgive and forget the past?”
A man who could thus open his whole heart, without one lurking reserve inspired by consideration for himself, was not a man to forget any minor act of concealment of which his weakness might have led him to be guilty toward his friend. It lay heavy on Midwinter’s conscience that he had kept secret from Allan a discovery which he ought in Allan’s dearest interests to have revealed—the discovery of his mother’s room.
A man who could completely open his heart without holding back for his own sake was not someone to easily forget any small act of hiding that his weakness might have caused toward his friend. Midwinter felt a deep weight on his conscience for keeping a secret from Allan that he should have revealed for Allan’s best interests—the discovery of his mother’s room.
But one doubt still closed his lips—the doubt whether Mrs. Armadale’s conduct in Madeira had been kept secret on her return to England.
But one doubt still kept him silent—the uncertainty about whether Mrs. Armadale's actions in Madeira had been kept confidential upon her return to England.
Careful inquiry, first among the servants, then among the tenantry, careful consideration of the few reports current at the time, as repeated to him by the few persons left who remembered them, convinced him at last that the family secret had been successfully kept within the family limits. Once satisfied that whatever inquiries the son might make would lead to no disclosure which could shake his respect for his mother’s memory, Midwinter had hesitated no longer. He had taken Allan into the room, and had shown him the books on the shelves, and all that the writing in the books disclosed. He had said plainly, “My one motive for not telling you this before sprang from my dread of interesting you in the room which I looked at with horror as the second of the scenes pointed at in the Dream. Forgive me this also, and you will have forgiven me all.”
Careful questioning, first among the staff and then among the tenants, along with a thorough look at the few reports that were circulating at the time, as recounted by the few people left who remembered them, finally convinced him that the family secret had been successfully kept within the family. Once he was sure that any inquiries the son might make wouldn’t reveal anything that could tarnish his respect for his mother’s memory, Midwinter didn’t hesitate any longer. He took Allan into the room and showed him the books on the shelves and everything the writing in the books revealed. He stated clearly, “My only reason for not telling you this sooner was my fear of making you curious about the room, which I viewed with horror as the second of the scenes referenced in the Dream. Please forgive me for this too, and you will have forgiven me for everything.”
With Allan’s love for his mother’s memory, but one result could follow such an avowal as this. He had liked the little room from the first, as a pleasant contrast to the oppressive grandeur of the other rooms at Thorpe Ambrose, and, now that he knew what associations were connected with it, his resolution was at once taken to make it especially his own. The same day, all his personal possessions were collected and arranged in his mother’s room—in Midwinter’s presence, and with Midwinter’s assistance given to the work.
With Allan’s love for his mother’s memory, only one result could come from such a declaration. He had liked the small room from the beginning, as it provided a nice contrast to the overwhelming grandeur of the other rooms at Thorpe Ambrose, and now that he understood the memories tied to it, he immediately decided to make it particularly his own. That same day, all his personal belongings were gathered and organized in his mother’s room—with Midwinter present and assisting with the task.
Under those circumstances had the change now wrought in the household arrangements been produced; and in this way had Midwinter’s victory over his own fatalism—by making Allan the daily occupant of a room which he might otherwise hardly ever have entered—actually favored the fulfillment of the Second Vision of the Dream.
Under those circumstances, the changes in the household arrangements had occurred, and in this way, Midwinter’s triumph over his own fatalism—by making Allan the regular occupant of a room he might not have entered at all—actually helped bring about the Second Vision of the Dream.
The hour wore on quietly as Allan’s friend sat waiting for Allan’s return. Sometimes reading, sometimes thinking placidly, he whiled away the time. No vexing cares, no boding doubts, troubled him now. The rent-day, which he had once dreaded, had come and gone harmlessly. A friendlier understanding had been established between Allan and his tenants; Mr. Bashwood had proved himself to be worthy of the confidence reposed in him; the Pedgifts, father and son, had amply justified their client’s good opinion of them. Wherever Midwinter looked, the prospect was bright, the future was without a cloud.
The hour passed quietly as Allan’s friend waited for his return. Sometimes reading, sometimes thinking calmly, he passed the time. He was free from annoying worries or ominous doubts now. The rent day, which he had once dreaded, had come and gone without any issues. A more friendly understanding had developed between Allan and his tenants; Mr. Bashwood had proven to be deserving of the trust placed in him; the Pedgifts, father and son, had fully justified their client’s good opinion of them. Wherever Midwinter looked, the outlook was bright, and the future was without any worries.
He trimmed the lamp on the table beside him and looked out at the night. The stable clock was chiming the half-hour past eleven as he walked to the window, and the first rain-drops were beginning to fall. He had his hand on the bell to summon the servant, and send him over to the cottage with an umbrella, when he was stopped by hearing the familiar footstep on the walk outside.
He adjusted the lamp on the table next to him and looked out at the night. The clock in the stable was chiming half-past eleven as he walked to the window, and the first raindrops were starting to fall. He had his hand on the bell to call the servant and send him over to the cottage with an umbrella when he was paused by the sound of a familiar footstep on the path outside.
“How late you are!” said Midwinter, as Allan entered through the open French window. “Was there a party at the cottage?”
“How late you are!” said Midwinter as Allan walked in through the open French window. “Was there a party at the cottage?”
“No! only ourselves. The time slipped away somehow.” He answered in lower tones than usual, and sighed as he took his chair.
“No! only us. Time just slipped away somehow.” He replied in a softer tone than usual and sighed as he sat down in his chair.
“You seem to be out of spirits?” pursued Midwinter. “What’s the matter?”
“You seem down?” Midwinter asked. “What’s going on?”
Allan hesitated. “I may as well tell you,” he said, after a moment. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of; I only wonder you haven’t noticed it before! There’s a woman in it, as usual—I’m in love.”
Allan hesitated. “I might as well tell you,” he said after a moment. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about; I just wonder why you haven’t noticed it before! There’s a woman involved, as usual—I’m in love.”
Midwinter laughed. “Has Miss Milroy been more charming to-night than ever?” he asked, gayly.
Midwinter laughed. “Has Miss Milroy been more delightful tonight than ever?” he asked cheerfully.
“Miss Milroy!” repeated Allan. “What are you thinking of! I’m not in love with Miss Milroy.”
“Miss Milroy!” Allan repeated. “What are you talking about? I’m not in love with Miss Milroy.”
“Who is it, then?”
"Who is it?"
“Who is it! What a question to ask! Who can it be but Miss Gwilt?”
“Who is it! What a question to ask! Who else could it be but Miss Gwilt?”
There was a sudden silence. Allan sat listlessly, with his hands in his pockets, looking out through the open window at the falling rain. If he had turned toward his friend when he mentioned Miss Gwilt’s name he might possibly have been a little startled by the change he would have seen in Midwinter’s face.
There was an abrupt silence. Allan sat aimlessly, with his hands in his pockets, gazing out the open window at the falling rain. If he had looked over at his friend when he mentioned Miss Gwilt’s name, he might have been a bit surprised by the change he would have noticed in Midwinter’s face.
“I suppose you don’t approve of it?” he said, after waiting a little.
“I guess you don’t approve of it?” he said, after pausing for a moment.
There was no answer.
No response.
“It’s too late to make objections,” proceeded Allan. “I really mean it when I tell you I’m in love with her.”
“It’s too late to object,” Allan continued. “I really mean it when I say I’m in love with her.”
“A fortnight since you were in love with Miss Milroy,” said the other, in quiet, measured tones.
“A couple of weeks since you were in love with Miss Milroy,” said the other, in quiet, steady tones.
“Pooh! a mere flirtation. It’s different this time. I’m in earnest about Miss Gwilt.”
“Ugh! Just a little fling. It's different this time. I'm serious about Miss Gwilt.”
He looked round as he spoke. Midwinter turned his face aside on the instant, and bent it over a book.
He looked around as he spoke. Midwinter turned his face away immediately and leaned over a book.
“I see you don’t approve of the thing,” Allan went on. “Do you object to her being only a governess? You can’t do that, I’m sure. If you were in my place, her being only a governess wouldn’t stand in the way with you?”
“I see you don’t approve of this,” Allan continued. “Do you have a problem with her being just a governess? I’m sure you wouldn’t. If you were in my shoes, her being just a governess wouldn’t be an issue for you?”
“No,” said Midwinter; “I can’t honestly say it would stand in the way with me.” He gave the answer reluctantly, and pushed his chair back out of the light of the lamp.
“No,” said Midwinter; “I can’t honestly say it would be a problem for me.” He gave the answer reluctantly and pushed his chair back away from the light of the lamp.
“A governess is a lady who is not rich,” said Allan, in an oracular manner; “and a duchess is a lady who is not poor. And that’s all the difference I acknowledge between them. Miss Gwilt is older than I am—I don’t deny that. What age do you guess her at, Midwinter? I say, seven or eight and twenty. What do you say?”
“A governess is a woman who isn't wealthy,” Allan said in a wise tone; “and a duchess is a woman who isn't poor. That’s the only difference I see between them. Miss Gwilt is older than I am—I won't argue that. How old do you think she is, Midwinter? I’d say she’s around seven or eight and twenty. What about you?”
“Nothing. I agree with you.”
“Nothing. I’m with you.”
“Do you think seven or eight and twenty is too old for me? If you were in love with a woman yourself, you wouldn’t think seven or eight and twenty too old—would you?”
“Do you think twenty-seven or twenty-eight is too old for me? If you were in love with a woman yourself, you wouldn’t think twenty-seven or twenty-eight is too old—would you?”
“I can’t say I should think it too old, if—”
“I can’t say I think it’s too old, if—”
“If you were really fond of her?”
“If you actually liked her?”
Once more there was no answer.
Once again, there was no response.
“Well,” resumed Allan, “if there’s no harm in her being only a governess, and no harm in her being a little older than I am, what’s the objection to Miss Gwilt?”
“Well,” Allan continued, “if there’s no issue with her being just a governess, and no problem with her being a bit older than I am, what’s the problem with Miss Gwilt?”
“I have made no objection.”
"I haven't raised any objections."
“I don’t say you have. But you don’t seem to like the notion of it, for all that.”
“I’m not saying you have. But you don’t seem to be keen on the idea of it, despite that.”
There was another pause. Midwinter was the first to break the silence this time.
There was another pause. Midwinter was the first to speak up this time.
“Are you sure of yourself, Allan?” he asked, with his face bent once more over the book. “Are you really attached to this lady? Have you thought seriously already of asking her to be your wife?”
“Are you sure about yourself, Allan?” he asked, leaning back over the book again. “Are you really into this woman? Have you seriously considered asking her to be your wife?”
“I am thinking seriously of it at this moment,” said Allan. “I can’t be happy—I can’t live without her. Upon my soul, I worship the very ground she treads on!”
“I’m really thinking about it right now,” said Allan. “I can’t be happy—I can’t live without her. I swear, I worship the very ground she walks on!”
“How long—” His voice faltered, and he stopped. “How long,” he reiterated, “have you worshipped the very ground she treads on?”
“How long—” His voice stumbled, and he paused. “How long,” he repeated, “have you idolized the very ground she walks on?”
“Longer than you think for. I know I can trust you with all my secrets—”
“Longer than you think. I know I can trust you with all my secrets—”
“Don’t trust me!”
“Don’t trust me!”
“Nonsense! I will trust you. There is a little difficulty in the way which I haven’t mentioned yet. It’s a matter of some delicacy, and I want to consult you about it. Between ourselves, I have had private opportunities with Miss Gwilt—”
“Nonsense! I will trust you. There’s a small issue that I haven’t brought up yet. It’s a sensitive topic, and I’d like to get your advice on it. Just between us, I’ve had some private moments with Miss Gwilt—”
Midwinter suddenly started to his feet, and opened the door.
Midwinter suddenly jumped to his feet and opened the door.
“We’ll talk of this to-morrow,” he said. “Good-night.”
“We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” he said. “Goodnight.”
Allan looked round in astonishment. The door was closed again, and he was alone in the room.
Allan looked around in shock. The door was closed again, and he was alone in the room.
“He has never shaken hands with me!” exclaimed Allan, looking bewildered at the empty chair.
“He has never shaken hands with me!” Allan exclaimed, staring in confusion at the empty chair.
As the words passed his lips the door opened, and Midwinter appeared again.
As the words left his mouth, the door opened, and Midwinter walked in again.
“We haven’t shaken hands,” he said, abruptly. “God bless you, Allan! We’ll talk of it to-morrow. Good-night.”
“We haven’t shaken hands,” he said suddenly. “God bless you, Allan! We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Good night.”
Allan stood alone at the window, looking out at the pouring rain. He felt ill at ease, without knowing why. “Midwinter’s ways get stranger and stranger,” he thought. “What can he mean by putting me off till to-morrow, when I wanted to speak to him to-night?” He took up his bedroom candle a little impatiently, put it down again, and, walking back to the open window, stood looking out in the direction of the cottage. “I wonder if she’s thinking of me?” he said to himself softly.
Allan stood by the window, staring out at the heavy rain. He felt uneasy, unsure of the reason. “Midwinter's ways are getting weirder,” he thought. “What does he mean by postponing our meeting until tomorrow when I wanted to talk to him tonight?” He picked up his bedroom candle a bit impatiently, set it back down, and walked back to the open window, gazing out toward the cottage. “I wonder if she’s thinking about me?” he murmured to himself.
She was thinking of him. She had just opened her desk to write to Mrs. Oldershaw; and her pen had that moment traced the opening line: “Make your mind easy. I have got him!”
She was thinking about him. She had just opened her desk to write to Mrs. Oldershaw, and her pen had just written the opening line: “Don’t worry. I’ve got him!”
XIII. EXIT.
It rained all through the night, and when the morning came it was raining still.
It rained all night, and when morning came, it was still raining.
Contrary to his ordinary habit, Midwinter was waiting in the breakfast-room when Allan entered it. He looked worn and weary, but his smile was gentler and his manner more composed than usual. To Allan’s surprise he approached the subject of the previous night’s conversation of his own accord as soon as the servant was out of the room.
Contrary to his usual routine, Midwinter was waiting in the breakfast room when Allan walked in. He looked tired and drained, but his smile was softer and his demeanor more calm than usual. To Allan's surprise, he brought up the topic of their conversation from the night before on his own as soon as the servant left the room.
“I am afraid you thought me very impatient and very abrupt with you last night,” he said. “I will try to make amends for it this morning. I will hear everything you wish to say to me on the subject of Miss Gwilt.”
“I’m sorry if I came off as impatient and abrupt with you last night,” he said. “I’ll try to make it up to you this morning. I’m ready to hear everything you want to say about Miss Gwilt.”
“I hardly like to worry you,” said Allan. “You look as if you had had a bad night’s rest.”
“I really don’t want to worry you,” said Allan. “You look like you didn’t sleep well last night.”
“I have not slept well for some time past,” replied Midwinter, quietly. “Something has been wrong with me. But I believe I have found out the way to put myself right again without troubling the doctors. Late in the morning I shall have something to say to you about this. Let us get back first to what you were talking of last night. You were speaking of some difficulty—” He hesitated, and finished the sentence in a tone so low that Allan failed to hear him. “Perhaps it would be better,” he went on, “if, instead of speaking to me, you spoke to Mr. Brock?”
“I haven't been sleeping well lately,” Midwinter replied quietly. “Something’s been off with me. But I think I’ve figured out how to fix it without involving the doctors. I’ll have something to discuss with you about this later this morning. First, let’s return to what you were talking about last night. You mentioned some difficulty—” He paused, finishing the sentence in a whisper that Allan couldn’t catch. “Maybe it would be better,” he continued, “if you talked to Mr. Brock instead of me?”
“I would rather speak to you,” said Allan. “But tell me first, was I right or wrong last night in thinking you disapproved of my falling in love with Miss Gwilt?”
“I would rather speak to you,” said Allan. “But tell me first, was I right or wrong last night in thinking you didn’t approve of me falling in love with Miss Gwilt?”
Midwinter’s lean, nervous fingers began to crumble the bread in his plate. His eyes looked away from Allan for the first time.
Midwinter's thin, anxious fingers started to crumble the bread on his plate. His eyes shifted away from Allan for the first time.
“If you have any objection,” persisted Allan, “I should like to hear it.”
“If you have any objections,” Allan insisted, “I’d like to hear them.”
Midwinter suddenly looked up again, his cheeks turning ashy pale, and his glittering black eyes fixed full on Allan’s face.
Midwinter suddenly looked up again, his cheeks going ashy pale, and his sparkling black eyes locked onto Allan’s face.
“You love her,” he said. “Does she love you?”
“You love her,” he said. “Does she love you?”
“You won’t think me vain?” returned Allan. “I told you yesterday I had had private opportunities with her—”
“You won’t think I’m vain?” Allan replied. “I told you yesterday I had some private chances with her—”
Midwinter’s eyes dropped again to the crumbs on his plate. “I understand,” he interposed, quickly. “You were wrong last night. I had no objections to make.”
Midwinter's gaze fell once more to the crumbs on his plate. "I get it," he interrupted quickly. "You were mistaken last night. I had no objections to raise."
“Don’t you congratulate me?” asked Allan, a little uneasily. “Such a beautiful woman! such a clever woman!”
“Don’t you congratulate me?” Allan asked, a bit nervously. “Such a beautiful woman! Such a smart woman!”
Midwinter held out his hand. “I owe you more than mere congratulations,” he said. “In anything which is for your happiness I owe you help.” He took Allan’s hand, and wrung it hard. “Can I help you?” he asked, growing paler and paler as he spoke.
Midwinter extended his hand. “I owe you more than just congratulations,” he said. “For anything that brings you happiness, I owe you my support.” He grasped Allan’s hand firmly. “Can I help you?” he asked, becoming paler with each word.
“My dear fellow,” exclaimed Allan, “what is the matter with you? Your hand is as cold as ice.”
“My dear friend,” Allan exclaimed, “what’s wrong with you? Your hand is as cold as ice.”
Midwinter smiled faintly. “I am always in extremes,” he said; “my hand was as hot as fire the first time you took it at the old west-country inn. Come to that difficulty which you have not come to yet. You are young, rich, your own master—and she loves you. What difficulty can there be?”
Midwinter smiled slightly. “I’m always on extremes,” he said; “my hand was as hot as fire the first time you held it at that old inn in the west country. Think about the challenge you haven’t faced yet. You’re young, wealthy, in control of your own life—and she loves you. What challenge could there possibly be?”
Allan hesitated. “I hardly know how to put it,” he replied. “As you said just now, I love her, and she loves me; and yet there is a sort of strangeness between us. One talks a good deal about one’s self when one is in love, at least I do. I’ve told her all about myself and my mother, and how I came in for this place, and the rest of it. Well—though it doesn’t strike me when we are together—it comes across me now and then, when I’m away from her, that she doesn’t say much on her side. In fact, I know no more about her than you do.”
Allan hesitated. “I can hardly explain it,” he replied. “As you just said, I love her, and she loves me; yet there’s this weird distance between us. When someone is in love, they tend to talk a lot about themselves, at least I do. I’ve shared everything about myself, my mom, and how I ended up in this position, and so on. Well—while it doesn’t hit me when we’re together—it does occasionally when I’m away from her, that she doesn’t share much about herself. Honestly, I know just as little about her as you do.”
“Do you mean that you know nothing about Miss Gwilt’s family and friends?”
“Are you saying that you don’t know anything about Miss Gwilt’s family and friends?”
“That’s it, exactly.”
"That's it, exactly."
“Have you never asked her about them?”
“Have you never asked her about them?”
“I said something of the sort the other day,” returned Allan: “and I’m afraid, as usual, I said it in the wrong way. She looked—I can’t quite tell you how; not exactly displeased, but—oh, what things words are! I’d give the world, Midwinter, if I could only find the right word when I want it as well as you do.”
“I said something like that the other day,” Allan replied. “And, as always, I’m afraid I said it the wrong way. She looked—I can’t really describe it; not exactly unhappy, but—oh, words are tricky! I’d give anything, Midwinter, if I could just find the right word when I need it like you do.”
“Did Miss Gwilt say anything to you in the way of a reply?”
“Did Miss Gwilt say anything to you in response?”
“That’s just what I was coming to. She said, ‘I shall have a melancholy story to tell you one of these days, Mr. Armadale, about myself and my family; but you look so happy, and the circumstances are so distressing, that I have hardly the heart to speak of it now.’ Ah, she can express herself—with the tears in her eyes, my dear fellow, with the tears in her eyes! Of course, I changed the subject directly. And now the difficulty is how to get back to it, delicately, without making her cry again. We must get back to it, you know. Not on my account; I am quite content to marry her first and hear of her family misfortunes, poor thing, afterward. But I know Mr. Brock. If I can’t satisfy him about her family when I write to tell him of this (which, of course, I must do), he will be dead against the whole thing. I’m my own master, of course, and I can do as I like about it. But dear old Brock was such a good friend to my poor mother, and he has been such a good friend to me—you see what I mean, don’t you?”
"That’s exactly what I was getting to. She said, ‘I have a sad story to share with you one of these days, Mr. Armadale, about myself and my family; but you look so happy, and the situation is so upsetting, that I can hardly bring myself to talk about it right now.’ Ah, she knows how to express herself—with tears in her eyes, my dear friend, with tears in her eyes! Of course, I changed the subject right away. And now the challenge is how to return to it gently, without making her cry again. We have to return to it, you know. Not for my sake; I’m perfectly fine with marrying her first and hearing about her family's troubles later, poor thing. But I know Mr. Brock. If I can’t reassure him about her family when I write to inform him of this (which, of course, I have to do), he will be totally against the whole thing. I’m my own boss, of course, and I can handle it however I want. But dear old Brock was such a good friend to my poor mother, and he has been such a good friend to me—you understand what I mean, right?”
“Certainly, Allan; Mr. Brock has been your second father. Any disagreement between you about such a serious matter as this would be the saddest thing that could happen. You ought to satisfy him that Miss Gwilt is (what I am sure Miss Gwilt will prove to be) worthy, in every way worthy—” His voice sank in spite of him, and he left the sentence unfinished.
“Of course, Allan; Mr. Brock has been like a second father to you. Any conflict between you over such a serious issue would be the saddest thing that could happen. You need to show him that Miss Gwilt is (and I’m sure she will be) worthy, truly worthy—” His voice trailed off despite himself, leaving the sentence unfinished.
“Just my feeling in the matter!” Allan struck in, glibly. “Now we can come to what I particularly wanted to consult you about. If this was your case, Midwinter, you would be able to say the right words to her—you would put it delicately, even though you were putting it quite in the dark. I can’t do that. I’m a blundering sort of fellow; and I’m horribly afraid, if I can’t get some hint at the truth to help me at starting, of saying something to distress her. Family misfortunes are such tender subjects to touch on, especially with such a refined woman, such a tender-hearted woman, as Miss Gwilt. There may have been some dreadful death in the family—some relation who has disgraced himself—some infernal cruelty which has forced the poor thing out on the world as a governess. Well, turning it over in my mind, it struck me that the major might be able to put me on the right tack. It is quite possible that he might have been informed of Miss Gwilt’s family circumstances before he engaged her, isn’t it?”
“Just my feeling on the matter!” Allan chimed in smoothly. “Now we can get to what I really wanted to discuss with you. If this were your situation, Midwinter, you would know the right words to say to her—you would handle it delicately, even if you were unsure of the details. I can’t do that. I’m a bit of a klutz; and I’m really worried that, without a hint of the truth to guide me at the start, I might say something that upsets her. Family tragedies are such sensitive topics, especially with someone as refined and compassionate as Miss Gwilt. There could be some terrible death in the family—some relative who has disgraced themselves—some awful situation that has forced her out into the world as a governess. Well, thinking it over, it occurred to me that the major might be able to point me in the right direction. It’s quite possible he might have learned about Miss Gwilt’s family situation before he hired her, right?”
“It is possible, Allan, certainly.”
"Sure, Allan, it's possible."
“Just my feeling again! My notion is to speak to the major. If I could only get the story from him first, I should know so much better how to speak to Miss Gwilt about it afterward. You advise me to try the major, don’t you?”
“Just my feeling again! I think I should talk to the major. If I could get the story from him first, I'd know so much better how to talk to Miss Gwilt about it afterward. You think I should give the major a try, right?”
There was a pause before Midwinter replied. When he did answer, it was a little reluctantly.
There was a moment of silence before Midwinter replied. When he finally answered, it was with some hesitation.
“I hardly know how to advise you, Allan,” he said. “This is a very delicate matter.”
“I’m not really sure how to advise you, Allan,” he said. “This is a very sensitive issue.”
“I believe you would try the major, if you were in my place,” returned Allan, reverting to his inveterately personal way of putting the question.
“I think you would go for the major if you were in my position,” replied Allan, returning to his habitually personal way of asking.
“Perhaps I might,” said Midwinter, more and more unwillingly. “But if I did speak to the major, I should be very careful, in your place, not to put myself in a false position. I should be very careful to let no one suspect me of the meanness of prying into a woman’s secrets behind her back.”
“Maybe I could,” said Midwinter, increasingly reluctant. “But if I did talk to the major, I would definitely be careful, if I were you, not to put myself in a bad spot. I would make sure that no one suspects me of the low act of snooping into a woman's secrets when she’s not around.”
Allan’s face flushed. “Good heavens, Midwinter,” he exclaimed, “who could suspect me of that?”
Allan’s face turned red. “Oh my goodness, Midwinter,” he exclaimed, “who would think I’m capable of that?”
“Nobody, Allan, who really knows you.”
“Nobody, Allan, who truly knows you.”
“The major knows me. The major is the last man in the world to misunderstand me. All I want him to do is to help me (if he can) to speak about a delicate subject to Miss Gwilt, without hurting her feelings. Can anything be simpler between two gentlemen?”
“The major knows me. He’s the last person in the world to misunderstand me. All I want from him is to help me (if he can) talk about a sensitive topic with Miss Gwilt without hurting her feelings. Can anything be simpler between two gentlemen?”
Instead of replying, Midwinter, still speaking as constrainedly as ever, asked a question on his side. “Do you mean to tell Major Milroy,” he said, “what your intentions really are toward Miss Gwilt?”
Instead of replying, Midwinter, still speaking as stiffly as ever, asked a question of his own. “Are you going to tell Major Milroy,” he said, “what your true feelings are about Miss Gwilt?”
Allan’s manner altered. He hesitated, and looked confused.
Allan's demeanor changed. He paused and seemed unsure.
“I have been thinking of that,” he replied; “and I mean to feel my way first, and then tell him or not afterward, as matters turn out?”
“I've been thinking about that,” he replied; “and I plan to take it slow at first, and then decide whether to tell him or not depending on how things go.”
A proceeding so cautious as this was too strikingly inconsistent with Allan’s character not to surprise any one who knew him. Midwinter showed his surprise plainly.
A process as careful as this was so clearly at odds with Allan’s character that it surprised anyone who knew him. Midwinter showed his surprise openly.
“You forget that foolish flirtation of mine with Miss Milroy,” Allan went on, more and more confusedly. “The major may have noticed it, and may have thought I meant—well, what I didn’t mean. It might be rather awkward, mightn’t it, to propose to his face for his governess instead of his daughter?”
“You're forgetting that silly flirtation I had with Miss Milroy,” Allan continued, increasingly flustered. “The major might have noticed it and could have thought I meant—well, what I actually didn’t mean. It could be a bit uncomfortable, right? Proposing to him for his governess instead of his daughter?”
He waited for a word of answer, but none came. Midwinter opened his lips to speak, and suddenly checked himself. Allan, uneasy at his silence, doubly uneasy under certain recollections of the major’s daughter which the conversation had called up, rose from the table and shortened the interview a little impatiently.
He waited for a response, but nothing came. Midwinter opened his mouth to speak, then stopped himself. Allan, feeling uncomfortable with the silence and even more so with certain memories of the major’s daughter that the conversation had brought up, got up from the table and ended the meeting a bit impatiently.
“Come! come!” he said, “don’t sit there looking unutterable things; don’t make mountains out of mole-hills. You have such an old, old head, Midwinter, on those young shoulders of yours! Let’s have done with all these pros and cons. Do you mean to tell me in plain words that it won’t do to speak to the major?”
“Come on! Come on!” he said, “don’t just sit there looking like that; don’t blow things out of proportion. You have such an old soul, Midwinter, on those young shoulders of yours! Let’s wrap up all these pros and cons. Are you really telling me straight out that it’s not okay to talk to the major?”
“I can’t take the responsibility, Allan, of telling you that. To be plainer still, I can’t feel confident of the soundness of any advice I may give you in—in our present position toward each other. All I am sure of is that I cannot possibly be wrong in entreating you to do two things.”
“I can’t take on the responsibility, Allan, of telling you that. To be even clearer, I can’t feel confident in the validity of any advice I might give you in—in our current situation with each other. All I know for sure is that I can't be wrong in urging you to do two things.”
“What are they?”
“What are those?”
“If you speak to Major Milroy, pray remember the caution I have given you! Pray think of what you say before you say it!”
“If you talk to Major Milroy, please remember the warning I gave you! Please think about what you say before you say it!”
“I’ll think, never fear! What next?”
“I'll think, no worries! What’s next?”
“Before you take any serious step in this matter, write and tell Mr. Brock. Will you promise me to do that?”
“Before you take any serious action on this, please write and let Mr. Brock know. Will you promise me you'll do that?”
“With all my heart. Anything more?”
“With all my heart. Anything else?”
“Nothing more. I have said my last words.”
“Nothing else. I've said all I needed to say.”
Allan led the way to the door. “Come into my room,” he said, “and I’ll give you a cigar. The servants will be in here directly to clear away, and I want to go on talking about Miss Gwilt.”
Allan walked to the door. “Come to my room,” he said, “and I’ll give you a cigar. The staff will be in here soon to clean up, and I want to keep talking about Miss Gwilt.”
“Don’t wait for me,” said Midwinter; “I’ll follow you in a minute or two.”
“Don’t wait for me,” said Midwinter; “I’ll catch up with you in a minute or two.”
He remained seated until Allan had closed the door, then rose, and took from a corner of the room, where it lay hidden behind one of the curtains, a knapsack ready packed for traveling. As he stood at the window thinking, with the knapsack in his hand, a strangely old, care-worn look stole over his face: he seemed to lose the last of his youth in an instant.
He stayed seated until Allan shut the door, then got up and pulled a travel-ready knapsack from a corner of the room where it was hidden behind one of the curtains. As he stood by the window, contemplating with the knapsack in his hand, a strangely old, worn-out expression crossed his face: he seemed to lose the last bits of his youth in an instant.
What the woman’s quicker insight had discovered days since, the man’s slower perception had only realized in the past night. The pang that had wrung him when he heard Allan’s avowal had set the truth self-revealed before Midwinter for the first time. He had been conscious of looking at Miss Gwilt with new eyes and a new mind, on the next occasion when they met after the memorable interview in Major Milroy’s garden; but he had never until now known the passion that she had roused in him for what it really was. Knowing it at last, feeling it consciously in full possession of him, he had the courage which no man with a happier experience of life would have possessed—the courage to recall what Allan had confided to him, and to look resolutely at the future through his own grateful remembrances of the past.
What the woman had figured out days ago, the man only realized last night. The shock he felt when he heard Allan's confession had revealed the truth to Midwinter for the first time. He had noticed that he was seeing Miss Gwilt in a new light and with a fresh perspective during their next meeting after that significant conversation in Major Milroy’s garden; but he had never truly recognized the passion she had awakened in him until now. Now that he understood it, feeling it fully, he had a kind of courage that no man with a happier life experience would have—the courage to remember what Allan had shared with him and to face the future with gratitude for his past.
Steadfastly, through the sleepless hours of the night, he had bent his mind to the conviction that he must conquer the passion which had taken possession of him, for Allan’s sake; and that the one way to conquer it was—to go. No after-doubt as to the sacrifice had troubled him when morning came; and no after-doubt troubled him now. The one question that kept him hesitating was the question of leaving Thorpe Ambrose. Though Mr. Brock’s letter relieved him from all necessity of keeping watch in Norfolk for a woman who was known to be in Somersetshire; though the duties of the steward’s office were duties which might be safely left in Mr. Bashwood’s tried and trustworthy hands—still, admitting these considerations, his mind was not easy at the thought of leaving Allan, at a time when a crisis was approaching in Allan’s life.
Steadfastly, through the sleepless hours of the night, he had focused on the belief that he had to overcome the passion that had taken hold of him, for Allan’s sake; and that the only way to conquer it was to leave. No lingering doubts about the sacrifice troubled him when morning arrived; and no doubts troubled him now. The only thing keeping him hesitant was the thought of leaving Thorpe Ambrose. Although Mr. Brock’s letter freed him from having to keep watch in Norfolk for a woman who was known to be in Somersetshire; and although the responsibilities of the steward’s office could be safely entrusted to Mr. Bashwood’s tested and reliable hands—still, even with those considerations, his mind was unsettled at the idea of leaving Allan during a critical moment in Allan’s life.
He slung the knapsack loosely over his shoulder and put the question to his conscience for the last time. “Can you trust yourself to see her, day by day as you must see her—can you trust yourself to hear him talk of her, hour by hour, as you must hear him—if you stay in this house?” Again the answer came, as it had come all through the night. Again his heart warned him, in the very interests of the friendship that he held sacred, to go while the time was his own; to go before the woman who had possessed herself of his love had possessed herself of his power of self-sacrifice and his sense of gratitude as well.
He casually threw the backpack over his shoulder and asked himself one last time, “Can you handle seeing her every day, knowing you have to—can you handle hearing him talk about her constantly, knowing you have to—if you stay in this house?” Once more, the answer came, just like it had all night. Again, his heart warned him, for the sake of the friendship he valued deeply, to leave while he still had the chance; to leave before the woman who had captured his love also took away his ability to sacrifice himself and his sense of gratitude.
He looked round the room mechanically before he turned to leave it. Every remembrance of the conversation that had just taken place between Allan and himself pointed to the same conclusion, and warned him, as his own conscience had warned him, to go.
He scanned the room absentmindedly before he turned to leave. Every memory of the conversation that had just happened between Allan and him pointed to the same conclusion and urged him, just like his own conscience had, to go.
Had he honestly mentioned any one of the objections which he, or any man, must have seen to Allan’s attachment? Had he—as his knowledge of his friend’s facile character bound him to do—warned Allan to distrust his own hasty impulses, and to test himself by time and absence, before he made sure that the happiness of his whole life was bound up in Miss Gwilt? No. The bare doubt whether, in speaking of these things, he could feel that he was speaking disinterestedly, had closed his lips, and would close his lips for the future, till the time for speaking had gone by. Was the right man to restrain Allan the man who would have given the world, if he had it, to stand in Allan’s place? There was but one plain course of action that an honest man and a grateful man could follow in the position in which he stood. Far removed from all chance of seeing her, and from all chance of hearing of her—alone with his own faithful recollection of what he owed to his friend—he might hope to fight it down, as he had fought down the tears in his childhood under his gypsy master’s stick; as he had fought down the misery of his lonely youth time in the country bookseller’s shop. “I must go,” he said, as he turned wearily from the window, “before she comes to the house again. I must go before another hour is over my head.”
Had he honestly pointed out any of the concerns that he or anyone else must have noticed about Allan's attachment? Had he—because he understood his friend’s impressionable nature—warned Allan to question his own impulsive feelings and to see how he truly felt over time and distance before deciding that his entire happiness depended on Miss Gwilt? No. The mere uncertainty of whether he could speak about these things without personal bias had kept him silent and would continue to do so until the moment for speaking had passed. Was the right person to hold Allan back someone who would have given anything to be in Allan’s position? There was only one clear course of action an honest and grateful person could take in his situation. Far removed from any chance of seeing her or hearing about her—alone with his own loyal memories of what he owed to his friend—he might hope to suppress it, just as he had suppressed tears in childhood under his gypsy master’s stick; just as he had endured the solitude of his youth in the country bookseller’s shop. “I have to leave,” he said, turning away from the window, “before she comes back to the house. I need to leave before another hour passes.”
With that resolution he left the room; and, in leaving it, took the irrevocable step from Present to Future.
With that decision, he left the room and, in doing so, made the permanent shift from the Present to the Future.
The rain was still falling. The sullen sky, all round the horizon, still lowered watery and dark, when Midwinter, equipped for traveling, appeared in Allan’s room.
The rain was still coming down. The gloomy sky, stretching all around the horizon, remained cloudy and dark when Midwinter, ready for a journey, entered Allan’s room.
“Good heavens!” cried Allan, pointing to the knapsack, “what does that mean?”
“Good heavens!” exclaimed Allan, pointing to the backpack, “what does that mean?”
“Nothing very extraordinary,” said Midwinter. “It only means—good-by.”
“Nothing too special,” said Midwinter. “It just means—goodbye.”
“Good-by!” repeated Allan, starting to his feet in astonishment.
“Goodbye!” Allan said again, getting to his feet in shock.
Midwinter put him back gently into his chair, and drew a seat near to it for himself.
Midwinter gently placed him back in his chair and pulled up a seat next to him.
“When you noticed that I looked ill this morning,” he said, “I told you that I had been thinking of a way to recover my health, and that I meant to speak to you about it later in the day. That latter time has come. I have been out of sorts, as the phrase is, for some time past. You have remarked it yourself, Allan, more than once; and, with your usual kindness, you have allowed it to excuse many things in my conduct which would have been otherwise unpardonable, even in your friendly eyes.”
“When you saw that I looked sick this morning,” he said, “I mentioned that I had been thinking about how to get my health back and that I planned to talk to you about it later today. That time has arrived. I've been feeling off, as the saying goes, for a while now. You've noticed it yourself, Allan, more than once; and, with your typical kindness, you’ve let it excuse many things in my behavior that would have been unacceptable, even from your friendly perspective.”
“My dear fellow,” interposed Allan, “you don’t mean to say you are going out on a walking tour in this pouring rain!”
“My dear friend,” Allan interrupted, “you can't be serious about going out on a walking tour in this pouring rain!”
“Never mind the rain,” rejoined Midwinter. “The rain and I are old friends. You know something, Allan, of the life I led before you met with me. From the time when I was a child, I have been used to hardship and exposure. Night and day, sometimes for months together, I never had my head under a roof. For years and years, the life of a wild animal—perhaps I ought to say, the life of a savage—was the life I led, while you were at home and happy. I have the leaven of the vagabond—the vagabond animal, or the vagabond man, I hardly know which—in me still. Does it distress you to hear me talk of myself in this way? I won’t distress you. I will only say that the comfort and the luxury of our life here are, at times, I think, a little too much for a man to whom comforts and luxuries come as strange things. I want nothing to put me right again but more air and exercise; fewer good breakfasts and dinners, my dear friend, than I get here. Let me go back to some of the hardships which this comfortable house is expressly made to shut out. Let me meet the wind and weather as I used to meet them when I was a boy; let me feel weary again for a little while, without a carriage near to pick me up; and hungry when the night falls, with miles of walking between my supper and me. Give me a week or two away, Allan—up northward, on foot, to the Yorkshire moors—and I promise to return to Thorpe Ambrose, better company for you and for your friends. I shall be back before you have time to miss me. Mr. Bashwood will take care of the business in the office; it is only for a fortnight, and it is for my own good—let me go!”
“Don't worry about the rain,” Midwinter replied. “The rain and I go way back. You know a bit about my life before we met, Allan. Since I was a child, I've been used to tough conditions and being outdoors. Night and day, sometimes for months on end, I never had a roof over my head. For years, I lived like a wild animal—maybe I should say, like a savage—while you were at home and happy. I still have that wanderer’s spirit in me, whether it’s the spirit of a wanderer or a wild creature, I’m not sure. Does it bother you to hear me talk about myself like this? I won't upset you. I just want to say that the comfort and luxury of our life here sometimes feel overwhelming for someone like me, who finds comforts and luxuries so unfamiliar. I just need more fresh air and exercise; fewer of those great breakfasts and dinners, my dear friend, than I get here. Let me return to some of the struggles that this cozy house is designed to keep out. Let me face the wind and weather like I did when I was a boy; let me feel tired for a while, without a carriage around to pick me up; and hungry at night with miles to walk between me and my dinner. Give me a week or two away, Allan—heading north on foot to the Yorkshire moors—and I promise I’ll come back to Thorpe Ambrose a better companion for you and your friends. I’ll be back before you even notice I’m gone. Mr. Bashwood will handle the office while I'm away; it's just for a fortnight, and it's for my own good—just let me go!”
“I don’t like it,” said Allan. “I don’t like your leaving me in this sudden manner. There’s something so strange and dreary about it. Why not try riding, if you want more exercise; all the horses in the stables are at your disposal. At all events, you can’t possibly go to-day. Look at the rain!”
“I don’t like this,” Allan said. “I don’t like you just up and leaving like this. It feels so strange and gloomy. Why not try riding if you want more exercise? All the horses in the stables are available to you. Anyway, you can’t possibly leave today. Just look at the rain!”
Midwinter looked toward the window, and gently shook his head.
Midwinter looked out the window and gently shook his head.
“I thought nothing of the rain,” he said, “when I was a mere child, getting my living with the dancing dogs—why should I think anything of it now? My getting wet, and your getting wet, Allan, are two very different things. When I was a fisherman’s boy in the Hebrides, I hadn’t a dry thread on me for weeks together.”
“I didn’t think twice about the rain,” he said, “when I was just a kid, making a living with the dancing dogs—so why should I care about it now? My getting wet and your getting wet, Allan, are two totally different things. When I was a fisherman’s son in the Hebrides, I spent weeks without a dry thread on me.”
“But you’re not in the Hebrides now,” persisted Allan; “and I expect our friends from the cottage to-morrow evening. You can’t start till after to-morrow. Miss Gwilt is going to give us some more music, and you know you like Miss Gwilt’s playing.”
“But you’re not in the Hebrides now,” Allan insisted. “I expect our friends from the cottage tomorrow evening. You can’t leave until after tomorrow. Miss Gwilt is going to play some more music for us, and you know you enjoy Miss Gwilt’s playing.”
Midwinter turned aside to buckle the straps of his knapsack. “Give me another chance of hearing Miss Gwilt when I come back,” he said, with his head down, and his fingers busy at the straps.
Midwinter turned to fasten the straps of his backpack. “Give me another chance to listen to Miss Gwilt when I return,” he said, looking down and focusing on the straps with his fingers.
“You have one fault, my dear fellow, and it grows on you,” remonstrated Allan; “when you have once taken a thing into our head, you’re the most obstinate man alive. There’s no persuading you to listen to reason. If you will go,” added Allan, suddenly rising, as Midwinter took up his hat and stick in silence, “I have half a mind to go with you, and try a little roughing it too!”
“You have one flaw, my friend, and it’s getting worse,” Allan said. “Once you get an idea in your head, you become the most stubborn person alive. There’s no convincing you to see reason. If you really want to go,” Allan continued, suddenly standing up as Midwinter quietly picked up his hat and stick, “I might just go with you and see what it's like to tough it out too!”
“Go with me!” repeated Midwinter, with a momentary bitterness in his tone, “and leave Miss Gwilt!”
“Come with me!” Midwinter said again, a hint of bitterness in his voice, “and leave Miss Gwilt!”
Allan sat down again, and admitted the force of the objection in significant silence. Without a word more on his side, Midwinter held out his hand to take leave. They were both deeply moved, and each was anxious to hide his agitation from the other. Allan took the last refuge which his friend’s firmness left to him: he tried to lighten the farewell moment by a joke.
Allan sat down again and acknowledged the objection with a heavy silence. Without saying anything more, Midwinter extended his hand to say goodbye. They were both really affected and each wanted to keep their emotions hidden from the other. Allan took the last option his friend’s strength offered him: he tried to ease the farewell moment with a joke.
“I’ll tell you what,” he said, “I begin to doubt if you’re quite cured yet of your belief in the Dream. I suspect you’re running away from me, after all!”
“I’ll tell you something,” he said, “I’m starting to wonder if you’re really over your belief in the Dream. I have a feeling you’re trying to escape from me, after all!”
Midwinter looked at him, uncertain whether he was in jest or earnest. “What do you mean?” he asked.
Midwinter looked at him, unsure if he was joking or serious. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“What did you tell me,” retorted Allan, “when you took me in here the other day, and made a clean breast of it? What did you say about this room, and the second vision of the dream? By Jupiter!” he exclaimed, starting to his feet once more, “now I look again, here is the Second Vision! There’s the rain pattering against the window—there’s the lawn and the garden outside—here am I where I stood in the Dream—and there are you where the Shadow stood. The whole scene complete, out-of-doors and in; and I’ve discovered it this time!”
“What did you tell me,” Allan shot back, “when you brought me in here the other day and admitted everything? What did you say about this room and the second vision of the dream? By Jupiter!” he exclaimed, getting to his feet again, “now that I look again, here is the Second Vision! There’s the rain tapping against the window—there’s the lawn and the garden outside—here I am where I stood in the Dream—and there you are where the Shadow stood. The whole scene is complete, inside and out; and I’ve figured it out this time!”
A moment’s life stirred again in the dead remains of Midwinter’s superstition. His color changed, and he eagerly, almost fiercely, disputed Allan’s conclusion.
A moment's life flickered back to life in the lifeless remnants of Midwinter's superstition. His color shifted, and he passionately, almost aggressively, challenged Allan's conclusion.
“No!” he said, pointing to the little marble figure on the bracket, “the scene is not complete—you have forgotten something, as usual. The Dream is wrong this time, thank God—utterly wrong! In the vision you saw, the statue was lying in fragments on the floor, and you were stooping over them with a troubled and an angry mind. There stands the statue safe and sound! and you haven’t the vestige of an angry feeling in your mind, have you?” He seized Allan impulsively by the hand. At the same moment the consciousness came to him that he was speaking and acting as earnestly as if he still believed in the Dream. The color rushed back over his face, and he turned away in confused silence.
“No!” he said, pointing to the small marble figure on the shelf, “the scene is not complete—you’ve forgotten something, as usual. Thank goodness the Dream is wrong this time—completely wrong! In the vision you had, the statue was shattered on the floor, and you were leaning over the pieces with a troubled and angry mind. But look, the statue is intact! And you don’t have even a hint of anger in your mind, do you?” He grabbed Allan's hand impulsively. At that moment, he realized he was speaking and acting as earnestly as if he still believed in the Dream. Color flooded back into his face, and he turned away in confused silence.
“What did I tell you?” said Allan, laughing, a little uneasily. “That night on the Wreck is hanging on your mind as heavily as ever.”
“What did I tell you?” Allan said, laughing a bit nervously. “That night on the Wreck is still weighing on your mind just as much as before.”
“Nothing hangs heavy on me,” retorted Midwinter, with a sudden outburst of impatience, “but the knapsack on my back, and the time I’m wasting here. I’ll go out, and see if it’s likely to clear up.”
“Nothing weighs on me,” Midwinter shot back, suddenly impatient, “except the backpack on my back and the time I'm wasting here. I'm going to step outside and see if it's going to clear up.”
“You’ll come back?” interposed Allan.
“Will you come back?” interposed Allan.
Midwinter opened the French window, and stepped out into the garden.
Midwinter opened the French door and stepped out into the garden.
“Yes,” he said, answering with all his former gentleness of manner; “I’ll come back in a fortnight. Good-by, Allan; and good luck with Miss Gwilt!”
“Yes,” he said, responding with all his previous kindness; “I’ll be back in two weeks. Bye, Allan; and good luck with Miss Gwilt!”
He pushed the window to, and was away across the garden before his friend could open it again and follow him.
He closed the window and was across the garden before his friend could open it and catch up to him.
Allan rose, and took one step into the garden; then checked himself at the window, and returned to his chair. He knew Midwinter well enough to feel the total uselessness of attempting to follow him or to call him back. He was gone, and for two weeks to come there was no hope of seeing him again. An hour or more passed, the rain still fell, and the sky still threatened. A heavier and heavier sense of loneliness and despondency—the sense of all others which his previous life had least fitted him to understand and endure—possessed itself of Allan’s mind. In sheer horror of his own uninhabitably solitary house, he rang for his hat and umbrella, and resolved to take refuge in the major’s cottage.
Allan got up and took a step into the garden, then stopped at the window and went back to his chair. He knew Midwinter well enough to realize how pointless it was to try to follow him or to call him back. He was gone, and he wouldn’t be back for at least two weeks. An hour or more went by, the rain kept falling, and the sky still loomed dark. A growing feeling of loneliness and despair—the very emotions his past experiences had least prepared him to understand or cope with—took over Allan’s mind. In sheer dread of being in his unbearably empty house, he called for his hat and umbrella, deciding to seek comfort in the major’s cottage.
“I might have gone a little way with him,” thought Allan, his mind still running on Midwinter as he put on his hat. “I should like to have seen the dear old fellow fairly started on his journey.”
“I might have gone a little ways with him,” thought Allan, his mind still on Midwinter as he put on his hat. “I would have liked to see the dear old guy properly started on his journey.”
He took his umbrella. If he had noticed the face of the servant who gave it to him, he might possibly have asked some questions, and might have heard some news to interest him in his present frame of mind. As it was, he went out without looking at the man, and without suspecting that his servants knew more of Midwinter’s last moments at Thorpe Ambrose than he knew himself. Not ten minutes since, the grocer and butcher had called in to receive payment of their bills, and the grocer and the butcher had seen how Midwinter started on his journey.
He grabbed his umbrella. If he had paid attention to the servant who handed it to him, he might have asked some questions and heard something interesting that would have caught his attention. Instead, he left without noticing the man and without realizing that his servants knew more about Midwinter’s last moments at Thorpe Ambrose than he did. Just ten minutes earlier, the grocer and the butcher had come by to collect their payments, and they had seen how Midwinter set off on his journey.
The grocer had met him first, not far from the house, stopping on his way, in the pouring rain, to speak to a little ragged imp of a boy, the pest of the neighborhood. The boy’s customary impudence had broken out even more unrestrainedly than usual at the sight of the gentleman’s knapsack. And what had the gentleman done in return? He had stopped and looked distressed, and had put his two hands gently on the boy’s shoulders. The grocer’s own eyes had seen that; and the grocer’s own ears had heard him say, “Poor little chap! I know how the wind gnaws and the rain wets through a ragged jacket, better than most people who have got a good coat on their backs.” And with those words he had put his hand in his pocket, and had rewarded the boy’s impudence with a present of a shilling. “Wrong here-abouts,” said the grocer, touching his forehead. “That’s my opinion of Mr. Armadale’s friend!”
The grocer had first encountered him not far from the house, stopping on his way in the pouring rain to talk to a scruffy little boy, the nuisance of the neighborhood. The boy’s usual cheekiness had flared up even more unchecked than usual at the sight of the gentleman’s backpack. And what did the gentleman do in response? He stopped, looked upset, and gently placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders. The grocer had seen it with his own eyes; he had heard the gentleman say, “Poor little guy! I know how the wind bites and the rain soaks through a tattered jacket, better than most people with a decent coat on their backs.” And with those words, he reached into his pocket and rewarded the boy’s cheek with a gift of a shilling. “Something’s off around here,” said the grocer, touching his forehead. “That’s my take on Mr. Armadale’s friend!”
The butcher had seen him further on in the journey, at the other end of the town. He had stopped—again in the pouring rain—and this time to look at nothing more remarkable than a half-starved cur, shivering on a doorstep. “I had my eye on him,” said the butcher; “and what do you think he did? He crossed the road over to my shop, and bought a bit of meat fit for a Christian. Very well. He says good-morning, and crosses back again; and, on the word of a man, down he goes on his knees on the wet doorstep, and out he takes his knife, and cuts up the meat, and gives it to the dog. Meat, I tell you again, fit for a Christian! I’m not a hard man, ma’am,” concluded the butcher, addressing the cook, “but meat’s meat; and it will serve your master’s friend right if he lives to want it.”
The butcher had seen him further along in the journey, at the other end of town. He had stopped—again in the pouring rain—and this time to look at nothing more remarkable than a half-starved dog, shivering on a doorstep. “I had my eye on him,” said the butcher; “and what do you think he did? He crossed the road over to my shop and bought a piece of meat fit for a decent person. Very well. He says good morning and crosses back again; and, I swear, down he goes on his knees on the wet doorstep, takes out his knife, cuts up the meat, and gives it to the dog. Meat, I tell you again, fit for a decent person! I’m not a hard man, ma’am,” concluded the butcher, addressing the cook, “but meat’s meat; and it will serve your master’s friend right if he ends up needing it.”
With those old unforgotten sympathies of the old unforgotten time to keep him company on his lonely road, he had left the town behind him, and had been lost to view in the misty rain. The grocer and the butcher had seen the last of him, and had judged a great nature, as all natures are judged from the grocer and the butcher point of view.
With the old, cherished memories from the past to keep him company on his lonely journey, he had left the town behind and disappeared in the misty rain. The grocer and the butcher had seen the last of him and had assessed a great character, as all characters are evaluated from the perspective of the grocer and the butcher.
THE END OF THE SECOND BOOK.
THE END OF THE SECOND BOOK.
BOOK THE THIRD.
I. MRS. MILROY.
Two days after Midwinter’s departure from Thorpe Ambrose, Mrs. Milroy, having completed her morning toilet, and having dismissed her nurse, rang the bell again five minutes afterward, and on the woman’s re-appearance asked impatiently if the post had come in.
Two days after Midwinter left Thorpe Ambrose, Mrs. Milroy, having finished getting ready for the day and sent her nurse away, rang the bell again five minutes later. When the woman came back, she asked impatiently if the mail had arrived.
“Post?” echoed the nurse. “Haven’t you got your watch? Don’t you know that it’s a good half-hour too soon to ask for your letters?” She spoke with the confident insolence of a servant long accustomed to presume on her mistress’s weakness and her mistress’s necessities. Mrs. Milroy, on her side, appeared to be well used to her nurses manner; she gave her orders composedly, without noticing it.
“Post?” the nurse echoed. “Don’t you have a watch? Don’t you realize it’s a good half-hour too early to be asking for your letters?” She spoke with the self-assured rudeness of someone who had long taken advantage of her boss’s weaknesses and needs. Mrs. Milroy, for her part, seemed to be used to her nurse's attitude; she gave her orders calmly, without acknowledging it.
“When the postman does come,” she said, “see him yourself. I am expecting a letter which I ought to have had two days since. I don’t understand it. I’m beginning to suspect the servants.”
“When the postman does come,” she said, “you should see him yourself. I’m waiting for a letter I was supposed to get two days ago. I don’t get it. I’m starting to suspect the servants.”
The nurse smiled contemptuously. “Whom will you suspect next?” she asked. “There! don’t put yourself out. I’ll answer the gate-bell this morning; and we’ll see if I can’t bring you a letter when the postman comes.” Saying those words, with the tone and manner of a woman who is quieting a fractious child, the nurse, without waiting to be dismissed, left the room.
The nurse smiled with disdain. “Who are you going to suspect next?” she asked. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll answer the doorbell this morning; and we’ll see if I can’t bring you a letter when the postman arrives.” Saying this in a tone and manner as if calming a difficult child, the nurse, without waiting to be dismissed, left the room.
Mrs. Milroy turned slowly and wearily on her bed, when she was left by herself again, and let the light from the window fall on her face. It was the face of a woman who had once been handsome, and who was still, so far as years went, in the prime of her life. Long-continued suffering of body and long-continued irritation of mind had worn her away—in the roughly expressive popular phrase—to skin and bone. The utter wreck of her beauty was made a wreck horrible to behold, by her desperate efforts to conceal the sight of it from her own eyes, from the eyes of her husband and her child, from the eyes even of the doctor who attended her, and whose business it was to penetrate to the truth. Her head, from which the greater part of the hair had fallen off; would have been less shocking to see than the hideously youthful wig by which she tried to hide the loss. No deterioration of her complexion, no wrinkling of her skin, could have been so dreadful to look at as the rouge that lay thick on her cheeks, and the white enamel plastered on her forehead. The delicate lace, and the bright trimming on her dressing-gown, the ribbons in her cap, and the rings on her bony fingers, all intended to draw the eye away from the change that had passed over her, directed the eye to it, on the contrary; emphasized it; made it by sheer force of contrast more hopeless and more horrible than it really was. An illustrated book of the fashions, in which women were represented exhibiting their finery by means of the free use of their limbs, lay on the bed, from which she had not moved for years without being lifted by her nurse. A hand-glass was placed with the book so that she could reach it easily. She took up the glass after her attendant had left the room, and looked at her face with an unblushing interest and attention which she would have been ashamed of herself at the age of eighteen.
Mrs. Milroy turned slowly and wearily on her bed after she was left alone again, letting the light from the window fall on her face. It was the face of a woman who had once been attractive and who was still, at least in terms of her age, in the prime of her life. Prolonged physical suffering and ongoing mental distress had worn her down—in the blunt expression people often use—to skin and bone. The complete destruction of her beauty was made even more horrifying by her desperate attempts to hide its reality from her own eyes, her husband, her child, and even the doctor who treated her, whose job was to see the truth. Her head, from which most of her hair had fallen out, would have been less shocking to look at than the grotesquely youthful wig she used to cover the loss. No decline in her skin tone, no wrinkles, could have been as horrifying to see as the thick rouge on her cheeks and the white makeup plastered on her forehead. The delicate lace, bright trim on her dressing gown, ribbons in her cap, and rings on her bony fingers, all meant to divert attention from the changes that had come over her, only called attention to it instead; they highlighted it, making it seem even more tragic and dreadful than it truly was. An illustrated fashion book, showing women displaying their finery with graceful movements, lay on the bed, untouched for years unless her nurse had lifted her. A handheld mirror was placed next to the book for her convenience. After her attendant left the room, she picked up the mirror and examined her face with an unashamed interest and focus that she would have felt embarrassed about at eighteen.
“Older and older, and thinner and thinner!” she said. “The major will soon be a free man; but I’ll have that red-haired hussy out of the house first!”
“Getting older and skinnier!” she said. “The major will soon be a free man; but I’ll make sure that red-haired hussy is out of the house first!”
She dropped the looking-glass on the counterpane, and clinched the hand that held it. Her eyes suddenly riveted themselves on a little crayon portrait of her husband hanging on the opposite wall; they looked at the likeness with the hard and cruel brightness of the eyes of a bird of prey. “Red is your taste in your old age is it?” she said to the portrait. “Red hair, and a scrofulous complexion, and a padded figure, a ballet-girl’s walk, and a pickpocket’s light fingers. Miss Gwilt! Miss, with those eyes, and that walk!” She turned her head suddenly on the pillow, and burst into a harsh, jeering laugh. “Miss!” she repeated over and over again, with the venomously pointed emphasis of the most merciless of all human forms of contempt—the contempt of one woman for another.
She dropped the mirror on the bedspread and tightened her grip on the hand that held it. Her eyes suddenly locked onto a little crayon portrait of her husband hanging on the wall across from her; they stared at the likeness with the sharp and cruel glare of a predator. “Red is your style now, huh?” she said to the portrait. “Red hair, a sickly complexion, a curvy figure, a ballet dancer’s stride, and a thief’s nimble fingers. Miss Gwilt! Miss, with those eyes and that walk!” She abruptly twisted her head on the pillow and let out a harsh, mocking laugh. “Miss!” she echoed repeatedly, with the venomous emphasis of the most unforgiving type of contempt—the contempt of one woman for another.
The age we live in is an age which finds no human creature inexcusable. Is there an excuse for Mrs. Milroy? Let the story of her life answer the question.
The time we live in is one that doesn't find any human being blameless. Is there a reason for Mrs. Milroy? Let her life's story provide the answer.
She had married the major at an unusually early age; and, in marrying him, had taken a man for her husband who was old enough to be her father—a man who, at that time, had the reputation, and not unjustly, of having made the freest use of his social gifts and his advantages of personal appearance in the society of women. Indifferently educated, and below her husband in station, she had begun by accepting his addresses under the influence of her own flattered vanity, and had ended by feeling the fascination which Major Milroy had exercised over women infinitely her mental superiors in his earlier life. He had been touched, on his side, by her devotion, and had felt, in his turn, the attraction of her beauty, her freshness, and her youth. Up to the time when their little daughter and only child had reached the age of eight years, their married life had been an unusually happy one. At that period the double misfortune fell on the household, of the failure of the wife’s health, and the almost total loss of the husband’s fortune; and from that moment the domestic happiness of the married pair was virtually at an end.
She married the major at a surprisingly young age, choosing a husband old enough to be her father—a man who, at that time, had a reputation, not without reason, for being quite charming and attractive around women. With a poor education and of a lower social standing than her husband, she initially accepted his advances due to her flattered vanity, only to later feel captivated by Major Milroy's charm, which had drawn in women far more intelligent than herself earlier in his life. He, in turn, was touched by her loyalty and found himself attracted to her beauty, freshness, and youth. Until their little daughter, their only child, turned eight, their marriage had been unusually happy. However, at that point, disaster struck the household with his wife's declining health and the near-total loss of the husband's fortune; from then on, their domestic happiness effectively came to an end.
Having reached the age when men in general are readier, under the pressure of calamity, to resign themselves than to resist, the major had secured the little relics of his property, had retired into the country, and had patiently taken refuge in his mechanical pursuits. A woman nearer to him in age, or a woman with a better training and more patience of disposition than his wife possessed, would have understood the major’s conduct, and have found consolation in the major’s submission. Mrs. Milroy found consolation in nothing. Neither nature nor training helped her to meet resignedly the cruel calamity which had struck at her in the bloom of womanhood and the prime of beauty. The curse of incurable sickness blighted her at once and for life.
Having reached the age when most men are generally more willing to accept their fate in tough times, the major had secured what little he had left, moved out to the countryside, and patiently focused on his mechanical hobbies. A woman closer to his age, or one with a better background and more patience than his wife had, would have understood the major’s behavior and found comfort in his acceptance. Mrs. Milroy found comfort in nothing. Neither her natural disposition nor her upbringing helped her cope with the devastating misfortune that hit her in her prime and at the height of her beauty. The burden of chronic illness struck her suddenly and would haunt her for life.
Suffering can, and does, develop the latent evil that there is in humanity, as well as the latent good. The good that was in Mrs. Milroy’s nature shrank up, under that subtly deteriorating influence in which the evil grew and flourished. Month by month, as she became the weaker woman physically, she became the worse woman morally. All that was mean, cruel, and false in her expanded in steady proportion to the contraction of all that had once been generous, gentle, and true. Old suspicions of her husband’s readiness to relapse into the irregularities of his bachelor life, which, in her healthier days of mind and body, she had openly confessed to him—which she had always sooner or later seen to be suspicions that he had not deserved—came back, now that sickness had divorced her from him, in the form of that baser conjugal distrust which keeps itself cunningly secret; which gathers together its inflammatory particles atom by atom into a heap, and sets the slowly burning frenzy of jealousy alight in the mind. No proof of her husband’s blameless and patient life that could now be shown to Mrs. Milroy; no appeal that could be made to her respect for herself, or for her child growing up to womanhood, availed to dissipate the terrible delusion born of her hopeless illness, and growing steadily with its growth. Like all other madness, it had its ebb and flow, its time of spasmodic outburst, and its time of deceitful repose; but, active or passive, it was always in her. It had injured innocent servants, and insulted blameless strangers. It had brought the first tears of shame and sorrow into her daughter’s eyes, and had set the deepest lines that scored it in her husband’s face. It had made the secret misery of the little household for years; and it was now to pass beyond the family limits, and to influence coming events at Thorpe Ambrose, in which the future interests of Allan and Allan’s friend were vitally concerned.
Suffering can, and does, bring out both the hidden evil and the hidden good in humanity. The goodness in Mrs. Milroy's nature shrank under the subtle deterioration of her situation, while the evil grew and thrived. Month by month, as she became physically weaker, she also became morally worse. Everything mean, cruel, and false in her expanded as her once generous, gentle, and true nature diminished. Old doubts about her husband's tendency to slip back into his bachelor ways, which she had openly admitted to him during her healthier days—doubts she had eventually recognized he didn’t deserve—returned. Now, sickness had separated her from him, transforming her feelings into a hidden, baser jealousy that quietly built up, igniting the slow-burning rage of distrust in her mind. No evidence of her husband's faultless and patient behavior could convince Mrs. Milroy; no appeal to her sense of self-respect or to her daughter who was growing up could dissolve the terrible delusion fueled by her helpless illness, which only grew as her condition worsened. Like any other form of madness, it had its highs and lows, moments of explosive outburst, and times of deceptive calm; but whether active or passive, it was always within her. It hurt innocent servants and insulted blameless strangers. It brought the first tears of shame and sorrow to her daughter's eyes and etched deep lines on her husband's face. It created the hidden misery of their little household for years, and it was now about to extend beyond their family, affecting future events at Thorpe Ambrose, which were crucial for Allan and his friend.
A moment’s glance at the posture of domestic affairs in the cottage, prior to the engagement of the new governess, is necessary to the due appreciation of the serious consequences that followed Miss Gwilt’s appearance on the scene.
A quick look at the state of household matters in the cottage before the new governess arrived is important for understanding the serious consequences that followed Miss Gwilt's arrival.
On the marriage of the governess who had lived in his service for many years (a woman of an age and an appearance to set even Mrs. Milroy’s jealousy at defiance), the major had considered the question of sending his daughter away from home far more seriously than his wife supposed. He was conscious that scenes took place in the house at which no young girl should be present; but he felt an invincible reluctance to apply the one efficient remedy—the keeping his daughter away from home in school time and holiday time alike. The struggle thus raised in his mind once set at rest, by the resolution to advertise for a new governess, Major Milroy’s natural tendency to avoid trouble rather than to meet it had declared itself in its customary manner. He had closed his eyes again on his home anxieties as quietly as usual, and had gone back, as he had gone back on hundreds of previous occasions, to the consoling society of his old friend the clock.
On the marriage of the governess who had worked for him for many years (a woman whose age and looks could make even Mrs. Milroy jealous), the major had thought about sending his daughter away from home much more seriously than his wife realized. He knew that scenes occurred in the house that no young girl should witness; however, he felt an overwhelming reluctance to take the one effective action—keeping his daughter away from home during school and holiday breaks. Once he decided to look for a new governess, Major Milroy’s usual tendency to avoid trouble rather than face it showed itself again. He had closed his eyes to his home worries as quietly as he usually did and returned, as he had done countless times before, to the comforting presence of his old friend the clock.
It was far otherwise with the major’s wife. The chance which her husband had entirely overlooked, that the new governess who was to come might be a younger and a more attractive woman than the old governess who had gone, was the first chance that presented itself as possible to Mrs. Milroy’s mind. She had said nothing. Secretly waiting, and secretly nursing her inveterate distrust, she had encouraged her husband and her daughter to leave her on the occasion of the picnic, with the express purpose of making an opportunity for seeing the new governess alone. The governess had shown herself; and the smoldering fire of Mrs. Milroy’s jealousy had burst into flame in the moment when she and the handsome stranger first set eyes on each other.
It was completely different for the major’s wife. The opportunity her husband had completely missed—that the new governess might be younger and more attractive than the old governess who had left—was the first possibility that came to Mrs. Milroy's mind. She hadn’t said anything. Secretly waiting and quietly holding on to her deep-seated distrust, she had encouraged her husband and daughter to leave her behind for the picnic, with the specific intention of getting a chance to meet the new governess alone. The governess had arrived, and the simmering jealousy in Mrs. Milroy flared up the moment she and the attractive stranger locked eyes.
The interview over, Mrs. Milroy’s suspicions fastened at once and immovably on her husband’s mother.
The interview ended, and Mrs. Milroy's suspicions immediately focused and settled firmly on her husband's mother.
She was well aware that there was no one else in London on whom the major could depend to make the necessary inquiries; she was well aware that Miss Gwilt had applied for the situation, in the first instance, as a stranger answering an advertisement published in a newspaper. Yet knowing this, she had obstinately closed her eyes, with the blind frenzy of the blindest of all the passions, to the facts straight before her; and, looking back to the last of many quarrels between them which had ended in separating the elder lady and herself, had seized on the conclusion that Miss Gwilt’s engagement was due to her mother-in-law’s vindictive enjoyment of making mischief in her household. The inference which the very servants themselves, witnesses of the family scandal, had correctly drawn—that the major’s mother, in securing the services of a well-recommended governess for her son, had thought it no part of her duty to consider that governess’s looks in the purely fanciful interests of the major’s wife—was an inference which it was simply impossible to convey into Mrs. Milroy’s mind. Miss Gwilt had barely closed the sick-room door when the whispered words hissed out of Mrs. Milroy’s lips, “Before another week is over your head, my lady, you go!”
She knew that there was no one else in London the major could rely on to make the necessary inquiries; she knew that Miss Gwilt had originally applied for the position as a stranger responding to a newspaper ad. Yet, despite this knowledge, she stubbornly ignored the obvious facts like someone blinded by the most intense of passions; reflecting on the last of many arguments that had resulted in her separation from the older woman, she concluded that Miss Gwilt’s hire was simply due to her mother-in-law’s spiteful enjoyment of stirring up trouble in her household. The conclusion that even the servants, witnesses to the family drama, had correctly drawn—that the major’s mother, in hiring a well-recommended governess for her son, hadn’t felt it necessary to consider that governess’s appearance in the purely whimsical interests of the major’s wife—was a thought totally beyond Mrs. Milroy’s comprehension. Miss Gwilt had barely closed the sick-room door when Mrs. Milroy hissed, “Before another week is over your head, my lady, you go!”
From that moment, through the wakeful night and the weary day, the one object of the bedridden woman’s life was to procure the new governess’s dismissal from the house.
From that moment on, through the sleepless night and the exhausting day, the sole focus of the bedridden woman's life was to get the new governess fired from the house.
The assistance of the nurse, in the capacity of spy, was secured—as Mrs. Milroy had been accustomed to secure other extra services which her attendant was not bound to render her—by a present of a dress from the mistress’s wardrobe. One after another articles of wearing apparel which were now useless to Mrs. Milroy had ministered in this way to feed the nurse’s greed—the insatiable greed of an ugly woman for fine clothes. Bribed with the smartest dress she had secured yet, the household spy took her secret orders, and applied herself with a vile enjoyment of it to her secret work.
The nurse was recruited as a spy, just like Mrs. Milroy had managed to get other extra help that her attendant wasn’t required to provide, by giving her a dress from the mistress’s wardrobe. One by one, items of clothing that were no longer useful to Mrs. Milroy had been used to satisfy the nurse’s desire—the never-ending desire of an unattractive woman for nice clothes. Tempted by the most stylish dress she had received so far, the household spy accepted her covert instructions and eagerly got to work on her secret task.
The days passed, the work went on; but nothing had come of it. Mistress and servant had a woman to deal with who was a match for both of them.
The days went by, and the work continued; but it led to nothing. The mistress and the servant had a woman to contend with who was equal to both of them.
Repeated intrusions on the major, when the governess happened to be in the same room with him, failed to discover the slightest impropriety of word, look, or action, on either side. Stealthy watching and listening at the governess’s bedroom door detected that she kept a light in her room at late hours of the night, and that she groaned and ground her teeth in her sleep—and detected nothing more. Careful superintendence in the day-time proved that she regularly posted her own letters, instead of giving them to the servant; and that on certain occasions, when the occupation of her hours out of lesson time and walking time was left at her own disposal, she had been suddenly missed from the garden, and then caught coming back alone to it from the park. Once and once only, the nurse had found an opportunity of following her out of the garden, had been detected immediately in the park, and had been asked with the most exasperating politeness if she wished to join Miss Gwilt in a walk. Small circumstances of this kind, which were sufficiently suspicious to the mind of a jealous woman, were discovered in abundance. But circumstances, on which to found a valid ground of complaint that might be laid before the major, proved to be utterly wanting. Day followed day, and Miss Gwilt remained persistently correct in her conduct, and persistently irreproachable in her relations toward her employer and her pupil.
Repeated intrusions on the major, when the governess happened to be in the same room with him, failed to reveal the slightest hint of impropriety in word, look, or action from either side. Stealthy watching and listening at the governess’s bedroom door showed that she kept a light on in her room late at night and that she groaned and ground her teeth in her sleep—and revealed nothing more. Careful supervision during the day demonstrated that she regularly posted her own letters instead of handing them to the servant; and on certain occasions, when her hours outside lesson and walking time were free, she had been suddenly missed from the garden, only to be seen returning alone from the park. Once and only once, the nurse had seized the chance to follow her out of the garden, had been spotted immediately in the park, and had been asked with the most irritating politeness if she wanted to join Miss Gwilt for a walk. Small circumstances like these, which seemed quite suspicious to a jealous woman, were found in abundance. However, there was a complete lack of circumstances to form a valid complaint to present to the major. Day after day, Miss Gwilt remained consistently proper in her behavior and faultless in her relations with her employer and her pupil.
Foiled in this direction, Mrs. Milroy tried next to find an assailable place in the statement which the governess’s reference had made on the subject of the governess’s character.
Foiled in this attempt, Mrs. Milroy next tried to find a weak point in the statement that the governess’s reference had made about the governess’s character.
Obtaining from the major the minutely careful report which his mother had addressed to him on this topic, Mrs. Milroy read and reread it, and failed to find the weak point of which she was in search in any part of the letter. All the customary questions on such occasions had been asked, and all had been scrupulously and plainly answered. The one sole opening for an attack which it was possible to discover was an opening which showed itself, after more practical matters had been all disposed of, in the closing sentences of the letter.
Getting the detailed report that his mother had sent him on this topic, Mrs. Milroy read it multiple times and couldn’t identify the weak point she was looking for in any part of the letter. All the usual questions for such situations had been asked, and all had been carefully and clearly answered. The only possible chance for an argument was revealed in the closing sentences of the letter, after all the practical matters had been settled.
“I was so struck,” the passage ran, “by the grace and distinction of Miss Gwilt’s manners that I took an opportunity, when she was out of the room, of asking how she first came to be governess. ‘In the usual way,’ I was told. ‘A sad family misfortune, in which she behaved nobly. She is a very sensitive person, and shrinks from speaking of it among strangers—a natural reluctance which I have always felt it a matter of delicacy to respect.’ Hearing this, of course, I felt the same delicacy on my side. It was no part of my duty to intrude on the poor thing’s private sorrows; my only business was to do what I have now done, to make sure that I was engaging a capable and respectable governess to instruct my grandchild.”
“I was really impressed,” the passage went, “by the elegance and poise of Miss Gwilt’s manners that I took a chance, when she was out of the room, to ask how she first became a governess. ‘In the usual way,’ I was told. ‘A tragic family misfortune, in which she handled herself with grace. She’s a very sensitive person and avoids discussing it with strangers—a natural hesitation that I’ve always thought it courteous to respect.’ Hearing this, of course, I felt the same courtesy on my part. It wasn’t my place to pry into the poor woman’s private sorrows; my only responsibility was to do what I’ve now done, to ensure that I was hiring a qualified and respectable governess to teach my grandchild.”
After careful consideration of these lines, Mrs. Milroy, having a strong desire to find circumstances suspicious, found them suspicious accordingly. She determined to sift the mystery of Miss Gwilt’s family misfortunes to the bottom, on the chance of extracting from it something useful to her purpose. There were two ways of doing this. She might begin by questioning the governess herself, or she might begin by questioning the governess’s reference. Experience of Miss Gwilt’s quickness of resource in dealing with awkward questions at their introductory interview decided her on taking the latter course. “I’ll get the particulars from the reference first,” thought Mrs. Milroy, “and then question the creature herself, and see if the two stories agree.”
After thinking about these points, Mrs. Milroy, who really wanted to find something suspicious, decided that it was indeed suspicious. She made up her mind to dig into the mystery of Miss Gwilt’s family troubles to see if she could uncover anything useful for her own purposes. There were two ways to go about this. She could either start by questioning the governess directly or begin with the governess’s reference. Given Miss Gwilt’s ability to handle tricky questions during their first meeting, Mrs. Milroy chose to pursue the second option. “I’ll get the details from the reference first,” Mrs. Milroy thought, “and then ask the woman herself to see if the two accounts match up.”
The letter of inquiry was short, and scrupulously to the point.
The inquiry letter was brief and very straightforward.
Mrs. Milroy began by informing her correspondent that the state of her health necessitated leaving her daughter entirely under the governess’s influence and control. On that account she was more anxious than most mothers to be thoroughly informed in every respect about the person to whom she confided the entire charge of an only child; and feeling this anxiety, she might perhaps be excused for putting what might be thought, after the excellent character Miss Gwilt had received, a somewhat unnecessary question. With that preface, Mrs. Milroy came to the point, and requested to be informed of the circumstances which had obliged Miss Gwilt to go out as a governess.
Mrs. Milroy started by telling her correspondent that her health condition required her to leave her daughter completely in the governess’s care and guidance. Because of this, she was more concerned than most mothers to be fully updated on every detail about the person she entrusted with her only child; and feeling this worry, she could be forgiven for asking what might seem, given the excellent reference Miss Gwilt had received, a somewhat unnecessary question. With that introduction, Mrs. Milroy got straight to the point and asked to know the reasons that had forced Miss Gwilt to take a job as a governess.
The letter, expressed in these terms, was posted the same day. On the morning when the answer was due, no answer appeared. The next morning arrived, and still there was no reply. When the third morning came, Mrs. Milroy’s impatience had broken loose from all restraint. She had rung for the nurse in the manner which has been already recorded, and had ordered the woman to be in waiting to receive the letters of the morning with her own hands. In this position matters now stood; and in these domestic circumstances the new series of events at Thorpe Ambrose took their rise.
The letter, written in these terms, was sent out the same day. On the morning the reply was expected, nothing arrived. The following morning came, and still there was no response. By the third morning, Mrs. Milroy's impatience had completely unraveled. She had called for the nurse as previously noted and instructed her to be ready to hand over the morning's letters herself. This was the situation at that moment, and under these domestic circumstances, a new series of events began to unfold at Thorpe Ambrose.
Mrs. Milroy had just looked at her watch, and had just put her hand once more to the bell-pull, when the door opened and the nurse entered the room.
Mrs. Milroy had just checked her watch and was about to reach for the bell-pull again when the door opened and the nurse walked into the room.
“Has the postman come?” asked Mrs. Milroy.
“Has the mailman arrived?” asked Mrs. Milroy.
The nurse laid a letter on the bed without answering, and waited, with unconcealed curiosity, to watch the effect which it produced on her mistress.
The nurse placed a letter on the bed without responding and waited, clearly curious, to see how it would affect her mistress.
Mrs. Milroy tore open the envelope the instant it was in her hand. A printed paper appeared (which she threw aside), surrounding a letter (which she looked at) in her own handwriting! She snatched up the printed paper. It was the customary Post-office circular, informing her that her letter had been duly presented at the right address, and that the person whom she had written to was not to be found.
Mrs. Milroy ripped open the envelope as soon as it was in her hand. A printed paper came out (which she tossed aside), along with a letter (which she examined) written in her own handwriting! She quickly grabbed the printed paper. It was the usual Post Office notice, letting her know that her letter had been successfully delivered to the correct address, but the person she had written to was unavailable.
“Something wrong?” asked the nurse, detecting a change in her mistress’s face.
“Is something wrong?” asked the nurse, noticing a change in her boss’s face.
The question passed unheeded. Mrs. Milroy’s writing-desk was on the table at the bedside. She took from it the letter which the major’s mother had written to her son, and turned to the page containing the name and address of Miss Gwilt’s reference. “Mrs. Mandeville, 18 Kingsdown Crescent, Bayswater,” she read, eagerly to herself, and then looked at the address on her own returned letter. No error had been committed: the directions were identically the same.
The question went unanswered. Mrs. Milroy’s writing desk was on the table by the bed. She took out the letter that the major’s mother had written to her son and flipped to the page with the name and address of Miss Gwilt’s reference. “Mrs. Mandeville, 18 Kingsdown Crescent, Bayswater,” she read eagerly to herself, then compared it to the address on her own returned letter. There was no mistake: the addresses were exactly the same.
“Something wrong?” reiterated the nurse, advancing a step nearer to the bed.
“Is something wrong?” the nurse asked again, stepping closer to the bed.
“Thank God—yes!” cried Mrs. Milroy, with a sudden outburst of exultation. She tossed the Post-office circular to the nurse, and beat her bony hands on the bedclothes in an ecstasy of anticipated triumph. “Miss Gwilt’s an impostor! Miss Gwilt’s an impostor! If I die for it, Rachel, I’ll be carried to the window to see the police take her away!”
“Thank God—yes!” Mrs. Milroy exclaimed, bursting with joy. She threw the Post-office circular to the nurse and clapped her thin hands on the bedcovers in a frenzy of expected victory. “Miss Gwilt's a fraud! Miss Gwilt's a fraud! If it kills me, Rachel, you’ll have to carry me to the window to watch the police take her away!”
“It’s one thing to say she’s an impostor behind her back, and another thing to prove it to her face,” remarked the nurse. She put her hand as she spoke into her apron pocket, and, with a significant look at her mistress, silently produced a second letter.
“It’s one thing to talk about her being a fraud behind her back, and a whole different thing to confront her about it,” the nurse said. She tucked her hand into her apron pocket as she spoke and, with a meaningful glance at her mistress, quietly pulled out a second letter.
“For me?” asked Mrs. Milroy.
“Are you sure?” asked Mrs. Milroy.
“No!” said the nurse; “for Miss Gwilt.”
“No!” said the nurse; “for Miss Gwilt.”
The two women eyed each other, and understood each other without another word.
The two women looked at each other and understood each other without saying another word.
“Where is she?” said Mrs. Milroy.
“Where is she?” asked Mrs. Milroy.
The nurse pointed in the direction of the park. “Out again, for another walk before breakfast—by herself.”
The nurse gestured towards the park. “Out again for another walk before breakfast—alone.”
Mrs. Milroy beckoned to the nurse to stoop close over her. “Can you open it, Rachel?” she whispered.
Mrs. Milroy motioned for the nurse to lean in closer. “Can you open it, Rachel?” she whispered.
Rachel nodded.
Rachel agreed.
“Can you close it again, so that nobody would know?”
“Can you close it again so that no one will know?”
“Can you spare the scarf that matches your pearl gray dress?” asked Rachel.
"Can you lend me the scarf that goes with your pearl gray dress?" Rachel asked.
“Take it!” said Mrs. Milroy, impatiently.
“Take it!” Mrs. Milroy said, feeling impatient.
The nurse opened the wardrobe in silence, took the scarf in silence, and left the room in silence. In less than five minutes she came back with the envelope of Miss Gwilt’s letter open in her hand.
The nurse quietly opened the wardrobe, took the scarf without making a sound, and left the room quietly. In less than five minutes, she returned with Miss Gwilt’s letter envelope open in her hand.
“Thank you, ma’am, for the scarf,” said Rachel, putting the open letter composedly on the counterpane of the bed.
“Thank you, ma'am, for the scarf,” said Rachel, calmly placing the open letter on the bedspread.
Mrs. Milroy looked at the envelope. It had been closed as usual by means of adhesive gum, which had been made to give way by the application of steam. As Mrs. Milroy took out the letter, her hand trembled violently, and the white enamel parted into cracks over the wrinkles on her forehead.
Mrs. Milroy stared at the envelope. It was sealed, as usual, with adhesive gum that had been softened with steam. As Mrs. Milroy pulled out the letter, her hand shook uncontrollably, and the white enamel on her forehead cracked into lines.
Rachel withdrew to the window to keep watch on the park. “Don’t hurry,” she said. “No signs of her yet.”
Rachel stepped back to the window to keep an eye on the park. “Don’t rush,” she said. “I don’t see any signs of her yet.”
Mrs. Milroy still paused, keeping the all-important morsel of paper folded in her hand. She could have taken Miss Gwilt’s life, but she hesitated at reading Miss Gwilt’s letter.
Mrs. Milroy still paused, holding the crucial piece of paper folded in her hand. She could have ended Miss Gwilt’s life, but she hesitated before reading Miss Gwilt’s letter.
“Are you troubled with scruples?” asked the nurse, with a sneer. “Consider it a duty you owe to your daughter.”
“Are you dealing with guilt?” the nurse asked with a sneer. “Think of it as a responsibility you have to your daughter.”
“You wretch!” said Mrs. Milroy. With that expression of opinion, she opened the letter.
“You wretch!” said Mrs. Milroy. With that opinion, she opened the letter.
It was evidently written in great haste, was undated, and was signed in initials only. Thus it ran:
It was clearly written in a rush, had no date, and was signed with just initials. It read as follows:
“Diana Street.
Diana St.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—The cab is waiting at the door, and I have only a moment to tell you that I am obliged to leave London, on business, for three or four days, or a week at longest. My letters will be forwarded if you write. I got yours yesterday, and I agree with you that it is very important to put him off the awkward subject of yourself and your family as long as you safely can. The better you know him, the better you will be able to make up the sort of story that will do. Once told, you will have to stick to it; and, having to stick to it, beware of making it complicated, and beware of making it in a hurry. I will write again about this, and give you my own ideas. In the meantime, don’t risk meeting him too often in the park.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—The cab is waiting at the door, and I only have a moment to tell you that I have to leave London on business for three or four days, or at most a week. My letters will be forwarded if you write. I received yours yesterday, and I agree that it's very important to steer clear of the awkward subject of you and your family for as long as you can. The better you know him, the better you'll be able to create the right story. Once you've told it, you have to stick to it; and, having to stick to it, be careful not to make it complicated, and don’t rush it. I’ll write again about this and share my own thoughts. In the meantime, don’t take the risk of running into him too often in the park.”
“Yours, M. O.”
"Best, M. O."
“Well?” asked the nurse, returning to the bedside. “Have you done with it?”
“Well?” asked the nurse, coming back to the bedside. “Are you done with it?”
“Meeting him in the park!” repeated Mrs. Milroy, with her eyes still fastened on the letter. “Him! Rachel, where is the major?”
“Meeting him in the park!” repeated Mrs. Milroy, her eyes still glued to the letter. “Him! Rachel, where is the major?”
“In his own room.”
“In his room.”
“I don’t believe it!”
“I can't believe it!”
“Have your own way. I want the letter and the envelope.”
“Do it your way. I want the letter and the envelope.”
“Can you close it again so that she won’t know?”
“Can you close it again so she won’t find out?”
“What I can open I can shut. Anything more?”
“What I can open, I can close. Anything else?”
“Nothing more.”
“Nothing else.”
Mrs. Milroy was left alone again, to review her plan of attack by the new light that had now been thrown on Miss Gwilt.
Mrs. Milroy was alone again, taking a moment to rethink her strategy with the new perspective she had gained on Miss Gwilt.
The information that had been gained by opening the governess’s letter pointed plainly to the conclusion that an adventuress had stolen her way into the house by means of a false reference. But having been obtained by an act of treachery which it was impossible to acknowledge, it was not information that could be used either for warning the major or for exposing Miss Gwilt. The one available weapon in Mrs. Milroy’s hands was the weapon furnished by her own returned letter, and the one question to decide was how to make the best and speediest use of it.
The information gained from the governess’s letter clearly indicated that a schemer had gotten into the house using a fake reference. However, since this information was obtained through deceit, it couldn't be used to warn the major or to expose Miss Gwilt. The only tool Mrs. Milroy had was her own returned letter, and the key issue was figuring out how to make the best and quickest use of it.
The longer she turned the matter over in her mind, the more hasty and premature seemed the exultation which she had felt at the first sight of the Post-office circular. That a lady acting as reference to a governess should have quitted her residence without leaving any trace behind her, and without even mentioning an address to which her letters could be forwarded, was a circumstance in itself sufficiently suspicious to be mentioned to the major. But Mrs. Milroy, however perverted her estimate of her husband might be in some respects, knew enough of his character to be assured that, if she told him what had happened, he would frankly appeal to the governess herself for an explanation. Miss Gwilt’s quickness and cunning would, in that case, produce some plausible answer on the spot, which the major’s partiality would be only too ready to accept; and she would at the same time, no doubt, place matters in train, by means of the post, for the due arrival of all needful confirmation on the part of her accomplice in London. To keep strict silence for the present, and to institute (without the governess’s knowledge) such inquiries as might be necessary to the discovery of undeniable evidence, was plainly the only safe course to take with such a man as the major, and with such a woman as Miss Gwilt. Helpless herself, to whom could Mrs. Milroy commit the difficult and dangerous task of investigation? The nurse, even if she was to be trusted, could not be spared at a day’s notice, and could not be sent away without the risk of exciting remark. Was there any other competent and reliable person to employ, either at Thorpe Ambrose or in London? Mrs. Milroy turned from side to side of the bed, searching every corner of her mind for the needful discovery, and searching in vain. “Oh, if I could only lay my hand on some man I could trust!” she thought, despairingly. “If I only knew where to look for somebody to help me!”
The more she thought about it, the more rushed and premature her excitement felt from the first glance at the Post-office circular. It was suspicious that a woman acting as a reference for a governess had left her home without a trace and hadn’t even provided an address for forwarding her letters. This was something she needed to share with the major. But Mrs. Milroy, no matter how skewed her view of her husband might be in some ways, understood enough about his character to know that if she told him what had happened, he would go straight to the governess for an explanation. Miss Gwilt's cleverness and cunning would likely lead her to come up with a convincing excuse right away, which the major would be all too willing to accept. At the same time, she would probably coordinate with her accomplice in London to ensure that they received any necessary confirmation through the mail. Keeping quiet for now and conducting inquiries (without the governess’s knowledge) to find undeniable evidence seemed to be the only safe approach with someone like the major and a woman like Miss Gwilt. Feeling powerless herself, who could Mrs. Milroy trust with the challenging and risky task of investigating? The nurse, even if she could be trusted, couldn’t be called upon on short notice and couldn’t be sent away without raising suspicion. Was there anyone else competent and reliable to hire, either in Thorpe Ambrose or London? Mrs. Milroy tossed and turned in bed, searching every corner of her mind for a solution but finding nothing. “Oh, if only I could find a trustworthy man!” she thought in despair. “If only I knew where to find someone to help me!”
As the idea passed through her mind, the sound of her daughter’s voice startled her from the other side of the door.
As the thought crossed her mind, the sound of her daughter’s voice startled her from the other side of the door.
“May I come in?” asked Neelie.
“Can I come in?” Neelie asked.
“What do you want?” returned Mrs. Milroy, impatiently.
“What do you want?” Mrs. Milroy replied, impatiently.
“I have brought up your breakfast, mamma.”
"I brought your breakfast, Mom."
“My breakfast?” repeated Mrs. Milroy, in surprise. “Why doesn’t Rachel bring it up as usual?” She considered a moment, and then called out, sharply, “Come in!”
“My breakfast?” repeated Mrs. Milroy, surprised. “Why isn’t Rachel bringing it up as she usually does?” She thought for a moment, then called out sharply, “Come in!”
II. THE MAN IS FOUND.
Neelie entered the room, carrying the tray with the tea, the dry toast, and the pat of butter which composed the invalid’s invariable breakfast.
Neelie walked into the room, carrying the tray with the tea, dry toast, and a pat of butter that made up the sick person's usual breakfast.
“What does this mean?” asked Mrs. Milroy, speaking and looking as she might have spoken and looked if the wrong servant had come into the room.
“What does this mean?” asked Mrs. Milroy, speaking and looking as she might have if the wrong servant had come into the room.
Neelie put the tray down on the bedside table. “I thought I should like to bring you up your breakfast, mamma, for once in a way,” she replied, “and I asked Rachel to let me.”
Neelie set the tray down on the bedside table. “I thought I’d bring you your breakfast, Mom, for a change,” she said, “and I asked Rachel to let me.”
“Come here,” said Mrs. Milroy, “and wish me good-morning.”
“Come here,” said Mrs. Milroy, “and wish me good morning.”
Neelie obeyed. As she stooped to kiss her mother, Mrs. Milroy caught her by the arm, and turned her roughly to the light. There were plain signs of disturbance and distress in her daughter’s face. A deadly thrill of terror ran through Mrs. Milroy on the instant. She suspected that the opening of the letter had been discovered by Miss Gwilt, and that the nurse was keeping out of the way in consequence.
Neelie complied. As she bent down to kiss her mother, Mrs. Milroy grabbed her arm and turned her sharply toward the light. There were obvious signs of turmoil and distress on her daughter's face. A chilling wave of fear swept over Mrs. Milroy immediately. She feared that Miss Gwilt had found out about the opened letter and that the nurse was deliberately staying away because of it.
“Let me go, mamma,” said Neelie, shrinking under her mother’s grasp. “You hurt me.”
“Let me go, Mom,” Neelie said, pulling away from her mother’s hold. “You’re hurting me.”
“Tell me why you have brought up my breakfast this morning,” persisted Mrs. Milroy.
“Tell me why you brought my breakfast up this morning,” Mrs. Milroy insisted.
“I have told you, mamma.”
"I told you, mom."
“You have not! You have made an excuse; I see it in your face. Come! what is it?”
“You haven't! You've made an excuse; I can see it on your face. Come on! What is it?”
Neelie’s resolution gave way before her mother’s. She looked aside uneasily at the things in the tray. “I have been vexed,” she said, with an effort; “and I didn’t want to stop in the breakfast-room. I wanted to come up here, and to speak to you.”
Neelie’s determination faltered under her mother’s gaze. She glanced nervously at the items on the tray. “I’ve been upset,” she said, forcing the words out; “and I didn’t want to stay in the breakfast room. I wanted to come up here and talk to you.”
“Vexed? Who has vexed you? What has happened? Has Miss Gwilt anything to do with it?”
“Upset? Who upset you? What happened? Does Miss Gwilt have anything to do with it?”
Neelie looked round again at her mother in sudden curiosity and alarm. “Mamma!” she said, “you read my thoughts. I declare you frighten me. It was Miss Gwilt.”
Neelie glanced back at her mother with sudden curiosity and concern. “Mom!” she said, “you read my mind. I swear you scare me. It was Miss Gwilt.”
Before Mrs. Milroy could say a word more on her side, the door opened and the nurse looked in.
Before Mrs. Milroy could say anything else, the door opened and the nurse peeked in.
“Have you got what you want?” she asked, as composedly as usual. “Miss, there, insisted on taking your tray up this morning. Has she broken anything?”
“Did you get what you wanted?” she asked, as calmly as always. “That girl over there insisted on taking your tray up this morning. Did she break anything?”
“Go to the window. I want to speak to Rachel,” said Mrs. Milroy.
“Go to the window. I want to talk to Rachel,” said Mrs. Milroy.
As soon as her daughter’s back was turned, she beckoned eagerly to the nurse. “Anything wrong?” she asked, in a whisper. “Do you think she suspects us?”
As soon as her daughter looked away, she called the nurse over eagerly. “Is everything okay?” she asked in a whisper. “Do you think she suspects anything?”
The nurse turned away with her hard, sneering smile. “I told you it should be done,” she said, “and it has been done. She hasn’t the ghost of a suspicion. I waited in the room; and I saw her take up the letter and open it.”
The nurse looked away with her cold, mocking smile. “I told you it should be done,” she said, “and it has been done. She doesn’t have a clue. I was in the room, and I saw her pick up the letter and open it.”
Mrs. Milroy drew a deep breath of relief. “Thank you,” she said, loud enough for her daughter to hear. “I want nothing more.”
Mrs. Milroy took a deep breath, feeling relieved. “Thank you,” she said, loud enough for her daughter to hear. “I want nothing more.”
The nurse withdrew; and Neelie came back from the window. Mrs. Milroy took her by the hand, and looked at her more attentively and more kindly than usual. Her daughter interested her that morning; for her daughter had something to say on the subject of Miss Gwilt.
The nurse stepped back, and Neelie returned from the window. Mrs. Milroy took her hand and looked at her more closely and kindly than usual. That morning, her daughter caught her attention because she had something to share about Miss Gwilt.
“I used to think that you promised to be pretty, child,” she said, cautiously resuming the interrupted conversation in the least direct way. “But you don’t seem to be keeping your promise. You look out of health and out of spirits. What is the matter with you?”
“I used to think you promised to be beautiful, kid,” she said, cautiously picking up the interrupted conversation in the least direct way. “But you don’t seem to be keeping that promise. You look unhealthy and down. What’s going on with you?”
If there had been any sympathy between mother and child, Neelie might have owned the truth. She might have said frankly: “I am looking ill, because my life is miserable to me. I am fond of Mr. Armadale, and Mr. Armadale was once fond of me. We had one little disagreement, only one, in which I was to blame. I wanted to tell him so at the time, and I have wanted to tell him so ever since; and Miss Gwilt stands between us and prevents me. She has made us like strangers; she has altered him, and taken him away from me. He doesn’t look at me as he did; he doesn’t speak to me as he did; he is never alone with me as he used to be; I can’t say the words to him that I long to say; and I can’t write to him, for it would look as if I wanted to get him back. It is all over between me and Mr. Armadale; and it is that woman’s fault. There is ill-blood between Miss Gwilt and me the whole day long; and say what I may, and do what I may, she always gets the better of me, and always puts me in the wrong. Everything I saw at Thorpe Ambrose pleased me, everything I did at Thorpe Ambrose made me happy, before she came. Nothing pleases me, and nothing makes me happy now!” If Neelie had ever been accustomed to ask her mother’s advice and to trust herself to her mother’s love, she might have said such words as these. As it was, the tears came into her eyes, and she hung her head in silence.
If there had been any connection between mother and child, Neelie might have revealed the truth. She might have honestly said: “I look unwell because my life is miserable. I care about Mr. Armadale, and he once cared about me. We had one small disagreement, just one, and I was at fault. I wanted to tell him that back then, and I've wanted to tell him ever since; but Miss Gwilt is in the way and stops me. She has made us feel like strangers; she has changed him and taken him away from me. He doesn’t look at me like he used to; he doesn’t talk to me like he used to; he’s never alone with me like he was before; I can’t say what I long to say to him; and I can’t write to him because it would look like I want to win him back. It’s all over between me and Mr. Armadale, and it’s that woman’s fault. There’s bad blood between Miss Gwilt and me all day long; no matter what I say or do, she always gets the better of me and makes me look wrong. Everything I saw at Thorpe Ambrose made me happy, everything I did there made me feel good, before she arrived. Nothing pleases me now, and nothing makes me happy!” If Neelie had ever been used to asking her mother for advice and trusting her mother’s love, she might have expressed such feelings. Instead, tears filled her eyes, and she bowed her head in silence.
“Come!” said Mrs. Milroy, beginning to lose patience. “You have something to say to me about Miss Gwilt. What is it?”
“Come on!” said Mrs. Milroy, starting to lose her patience. “You have something to tell me about Miss Gwilt. What is it?”
Neelie forced back her tears, and made an effort to answer.
Neelie held back her tears and tried to respond.
“She aggravates me beyond endurance, mamma; I can’t bear her; I shall do something—” Neelie stopped, and stamped her foot angrily on the floor. “I shall throw something at her head if we go on much longer like this! I should have thrown something this morning if I hadn’t left the room. Oh, do speak to papa about it! Do find out some reason for sending her away! I’ll go to school—I’ll do anything in the world to get rid of Miss Gwilt!”
“She drives me crazy, Mom; I can't stand her; I’m going to do something—” Neelie stopped and stomped her foot angrily on the floor. “I’ll throw something at her head if this goes on much longer! I should have thrown something this morning if I hadn’t left the room. Oh, please talk to Dad about it! Find some reason to send her away! I’ll go to school—I’ll do anything to get rid of Miss Gwilt!”
To get rid of Miss Gwilt! At those words—at that echo from her daughter’s lips of the one dominant desire kept secret in her own heart—Mrs. Milroy slowly raised herself in bed. What did it mean? Was the help she wanted coming from the very last of all quarters in which she could have thought of looking for it?
To get rid of Miss Gwilt! At that moment—hearing her daughter voice the one secret wish she had held in her own heart—Mrs. Milroy slowly sat up in bed. What did it mean? Was the help she needed coming from the very last place she would have ever thought to look for it?
“Why do you want to get rid of Miss Gwilt?” she asked. “What have you got to complain of?”
“Why do you want to get rid of Miss Gwilt?” she asked. “What’s your complaint?”
“Nothing!” said Neelie. “That’s the aggravation of it. Miss Gwilt won’t let me have anything to complain of. She is perfectly detestable; she is driving me mad; and she is the pink of propriety all the time. I dare say it’s wrong, but I don’t care—I hate her!”
“Nothing!” Neelie said. “That’s the frustrating part. Miss Gwilt won’t give me anything to complain about. She’s absolutely unbearable; she’s driving me crazy; and she acts so proper all the time. I know it’s probably wrong, but I don’t care—I hate her!”
Mrs. Milroy’s eyes questioned her daughter’s face as they had never questioned it yet. There was something under the surface, evidently—something which it might be of vital importance to her own purpose to discover—which had not risen into view. She went on probing her way deeper and deeper into Neelie’s mind, with a warmer and warmer interest in Neelie’s secret.
Mrs. Milroy's eyes searched her daughter's face like they never had before. There was clearly something beneath the surface—something that could be crucial for her own goals to uncover—that hadn’t come to light yet. She continued to dig deeper into Neelie’s thoughts, increasingly intrigued by Neelie’s secret.
“Pour me out a cup of tea,” she said; “and don’t excite yourself, my dear. Why do you speak to me about this? Why don’t you speak to your father?”
“Pour me a cup of tea,” she said; “and don’t get worked up, my dear. Why are you talking to me about this? Why don’t you talk to your father?”
“I have tried to speak to papa,” said Neelie. “But it’s no use; he is too good to know what a wretch she is. She is always on her best behavior with him; she is always contriving to be useful to him. I can’t make him understand why I dislike Miss Gwilt; I can’t make you understand—I only understand it myself.” She tried to pour out the tea, and in trying upset the cup. “I’ll go downstairs again!” exclaimed Neelie, with a burst of tears. “I’m not fit for anything; I can’t even pour out a cup of tea!”
“I’ve tried talking to Dad,” Neelie said. “But it doesn’t help; he’s too good to see what a terrible person she is. She’s always on her best behavior around him; she’s always trying to be helpful to him. I can’t make him understand why I can’t stand Miss Gwilt; I can’t make you understand—I only get it myself.” She attempted to pour the tea and ended up spilling the cup. “I’ll just go downstairs again!” Neelie exclaimed, bursting into tears. “I’m not good for anything; I can’t even pour a cup of tea!”
Mrs. Milroy seized her hand and stopped her. Trifling as it was, Neelie’s reference to the relations between the major and Miss Gwilt had roused her mother’s ready jealousy. The restraints which Mrs. Milroy had laid on herself thus far vanished in a moment—vanished even in the presence of a girl of sixteen, and that girl her own child!
Mrs. Milroy grabbed her hand and stopped her. As trivial as it was, Neelie’s mention of the relationship between the major and Miss Gwilt triggered her mother’s quick jealousy. The self-control Mrs. Milroy had maintained up to that point disappeared in an instant—disappeared even in front of a sixteen-year-old girl, and that girl was her own daughter!
“Wait here!” she said, eagerly. “You have come to the right place and the right person. Go on abusing Miss Gwilt. I like to hear you—I hate her, too!”
“Wait here!” she said excitedly. “You’ve come to the right place and the right person. Go ahead and insult Miss Gwilt. I love hearing you—I can’t stand her either!”
“You, mamma!” exclaimed Neelie, looking at her mother in astonishment.
“You, mom!” exclaimed Neelie, looking at her mother in disbelief.
For a moment Mrs. Milroy hesitated before she said more. Some last-left instinct of her married life in its earlier and happier time pleaded hard with her to respect the youth and the sex of her child. But jealousy respects nothing; in the heaven above and on the earth beneath, nothing but itself. The slow fire of self-torment, burning night and day in the miserable woman’s breast, flashed its deadly light into her eyes, as the next words dropped slowly and venomously from her lips.
For a moment, Mrs. Milroy hesitated before saying more. A final instinct from her earlier and happier married life urged her to respect her child's youth and gender. But jealousy respects nothing; in the heavens above and on the earth below, nothing but itself. The slow burn of self-torment, smoldering day and night in the miserable woman’s heart, cast a deadly light in her eyes as the next words dripped slowly and venomously from her lips.
“If you had had eyes in your head, you would never have gone to your father,” she said. “Your father has reasons of his own for hearing nothing that you can say, or that anybody can say, against Miss Gwilt.”
“If you had been paying attention, you would never have gone to your father,” she said. “Your father has his own reasons for ignoring anything you or anyone else has to say against Miss Gwilt.”
Many girls at Neelie’s age would have failed to see the meaning hidden under those words. It was the daughter’s misfortune, in this instance, to have had experience enough of the mother to understand her. Neelie started back from the bedside, with her face in a glow. “Mamma!” she said, “you are talking horribly! Papa is the best, and dearest, and kindest—oh, I won’t hear it! I won’t hear it!”
Many girls Neelie’s age might not have understood the meaning behind those words. In this case, it was the daughter’s misfortune to have had enough experience with her mother to grasp her intentions. Neelie stepped back from the bedside, her face flushed. “Mom!” she exclaimed, “you’re talking terribly! Dad is the best, the dearest, and the kindest—oh, I won’t listen to it! I won’t listen to it!”
Mrs. Milroy’s fierce temper broke out in an instant—broke out all the more violently from her feeling herself, in spite of herself, to have been in the wrong.
Mrs. Milroy's fierce temper exploded in an instant—exploded even more violently because she felt, despite herself, that she had been in the wrong.
“You impudent little fool!” she retorted, furiously. “Do you think I want you to remind me of what I owe to your father? Am I to learn how to speak of your father, and how to think of your father, and how to love and honor your father, from a forward little minx like you! I was finely disappointed, I can tell you, when you were born—I wished for a boy, you impudent hussy! If you ever find a man who is fool enough to marry you, he will be a lucky man if you only love him half as well, a quarter as well, a hundred-thousandth part as well, as I loved your father. Ah, you can cry when it’s too late; you can come creeping back to beg your mother’s pardon after you have insulted her. You little dowdy, half-grown creature! I was handsomer than ever you will be when I married your father. I would have gone through fire and water to serve your father! If he had asked me to cut off one of my arms, I would have done it—I would have done it to please him!” She turned suddenly with her face to the wall, forgetting her daughter, forgetting her husband, forgetting everything but the torturing remembrance of her lost beauty. “My arms!” she repeated to herself, faintly. “What arms I had when I was young!” She snatched up the sleeve of her dressing-gown furtively, with a shudder. “Oh, look at it now! look at it now!”
“You cheeky little brat!” she shot back, furiously. “Do you really think I want you to remind me of what I owe to your father? Am I supposed to learn how to talk about your father, think about your father, and love and respect your father from a sassy little jerk like you? I was really disappointed, I can tell you, when you were born—I wanted a boy, you cheeky little hussy! If you ever find a guy who's dumb enough to marry you, he'll be lucky if you love him even half as much, a quarter as much, or even a tiny fraction as much as I loved your father. Ah, you can cry when it’s too late; you can come crawling back to beg your mother’s forgiveness after you've insulted her. You little frumpy, half-grown thing! I was better looking than you'll ever be when I married your father. I would have gone through hell and high water for your father! If he had asked me to cut off one of my arms, I would have done it—I would have done it to make him happy!” She suddenly turned, facing the wall, forgetting her daughter, forgetting her husband, forgetting everything except the painful memory of her lost beauty. “My arms!” she muttered to herself, faintly. “What arms I had when I was young!” She grabbed the sleeve of her dressing gown furtively, shuddering. “Oh, look at it now! Look at it now!”
Neelie fell on her knees at the bedside and hid her face. In sheer despair of finding comfort and help anywhere else, she had cast herself impulsively on her mother’s mercy; and this was how it had ended! “Oh, mamma,” she pleaded, “you know I didn’t mean to offend you! I couldn’t help it when you spoke so of my father. Oh, do, do forgive me!”
Neelie dropped to her knees by the bed and buried her face. In total desperation, unable to find comfort or help anywhere else, she had thrown herself on her mother’s mercy without thinking; and this was how it turned out! “Oh, Mom,” she begged, “you know I didn’t mean to upset you! I couldn’t help it when you talked about my dad that way. Oh, please, please forgive me!”
Mrs. Milroy turned again on her pillow, and looked at her daughter vacantly. “Forgive you?” she repeated, with her mind still in the past, groping its way back darkly to the present.
Mrs. Milroy turned again on her pillow and looked at her daughter blankly. “Forgive you?” she repeated, her mind still lost in the past, struggling to find its way back to the present.
“I beg your pardon, mamma—I beg your pardon on my knees. I am so unhappy; I do so want a little kindness! Won’t you forgive me?”
“I’m so sorry, Mom—I’m really sorry on my knees. I’m so unhappy; I just need a little kindness! Will you please forgive me?”
“Wait a little,” rejoined Mrs. Milroy. “Ah,” she said, after an interval, “now I know! Forgive you? Yes; I’ll forgive you on one condition.” She lifted Neelie’s head, and looked her searchingly in the face. “Tell me why you hate Miss Gwilt! You’ve a reason of your own for hating her, and you haven’t confessed it yet.”
“Just a moment,” Mrs. Milroy replied. “Ah,” she said after a pause, “now I understand! Forgive you? Yes; I’ll forgive you, but only if you meet one condition.” She lifted Neelie’s head and looked her intently in the face. “Tell me why you hate Miss Gwilt! You have your own reason for hating her, and you haven’t admitted it yet.”
Neelie’s head dropped again. The burning color that she was hiding by hiding her face showed itself on her neck. Her mother saw it, and gave her time.
Neelie's head dropped again. The flush she was trying to conceal by covering her face was evident on her neck. Her mother noticed it and gave her some space.
“Tell me,” reiterated Mrs. Milroy, more gently, “why do you hate her?”
“Tell me,” Mrs. Milroy said again, more softly, “why do you hate her?”
The answer came reluctantly, a word at a time, in fragments.
The answer came slowly, one word at a time, in bits and pieces.
“Because she is trying—”
“Because she's trying—”
“Trying what?”
"Trying what exactly?"
“Trying to make somebody who is much—”
“Trying to make someone who is much—”
“Much what?”
"Much of what?"
“Much too young for her—”
"Way too young for her—"
“Marry her?”
"Propose to her?"
“Yes, mamma.”
"Yes, mom."
Breathlessly interested, Mrs. Milroy leaned forward, and twined her hand caressingly in her daughter’s hair.
Breathlessly interested, Mrs. Milroy leaned forward and gently ran her fingers through her daughter's hair.
“Who is it, Neelie?” she asked, in a whisper.
“Who is it, Neelie?” she asked softly.
“You will never say I told you, mamma?”
“You're never going to say I told you, Mom?”
“Never! Who is it?”
"Never! Who's there?"
“Mr. Armadale.”
“Mr. Armadale.”
Mrs. Milroy leaned back on her pillow in dead silence. The plain betrayal of her daughter’s first love, by her daughter’s own lips, which would have absorbed the whole attention of other mothers, failed to occupy her for a moment. Her jealousy, distorting all things to fit its own conclusions, was busied in distorting what she had just heard. “A blind,” she thought, “which has deceived my girl. It doesn’t deceive me. Is Miss Gwilt likely to succeed?” she asked, aloud. “Does Mr. Armadale show any sort of interest in her?”
Mrs. Milroy leaned back on her pillow in complete silence. The straightforward betrayal of her daughter's first love, revealed by her daughter's own words, would have captured the full attention of other mothers, but it didn’t occupy her mind for even a moment. Her jealousy, twisting everything to support its own conclusions, was busy rearranging what she had just heard. “It’s an illusion,” she thought, “that has fooled my girl. It doesn’t fool me. Is Miss Gwilt likely to succeed?” she asked out loud. “Does Mr. Armadale show any interest in her?”
Neelie looked up at her mother for the first time. The hardest part of the confession was over now. She had revealed the truth about Miss Gwilt, and she had openly mentioned Allan’s name.
Neelie looked up at her mom for the first time. The toughest part of the confession was done. She had told the truth about Miss Gwilt, and she had openly said Allan’s name.
“He shows the most unaccountable interest,” she said. “It’s impossible to understand it. It’s downright infatuation. I haven’t patience to talk about it!”
“He shows the most inexplicable interest,” she said. “It’s impossible to understand. It’s pure obsession. I don’t have the patience to discuss it!”
“How do you come to be in Mr. Armadale’s secrets?” inquired Mrs. Milroy. “Has he informed you, of all the people in the world, of his interest in Miss Gwilt?”
“How did you find out about Mr. Armadale’s secrets?” asked Mrs. Milroy. “Has he told you, of all the people in the world, about his interest in Miss Gwilt?”
“Me!” exclaimed Neelie, indignantly. “It’s quite bad enough that he should have told papa.”
“Me!” Neelie exclaimed, indignantly. “It’s already bad enough that he told Dad.”
At the re-appearance of the major in the narrative, Mrs. Milroy’s interest in the conversation rose to its climax. She raised herself again from the pillow. “Get a chair,” she said. “Sit down, child, and tell me all about it. Every word, mind—every word!”
At the major's return to the story, Mrs. Milroy's interest in the conversation peaked. She lifted herself up from the pillow again. “Get a chair,” she said. “Sit down, dear, and tell me everything about it. Every word, understand—every word!”
“I can only tell you, mamma, what papa told me.”
“I can only tell you, Mom, what Dad told me.”
“When?”
"When?"
“Saturday. I went in with papa’s lunch to the workshop, and he said, ‘I have just had a visit from Mr. Armadale; and I want to give you a caution while I think of it.’ I didn’t say anything, mamma; I only waited. Papa went on, and told me that Mr. Armadale had been speaking to him on the subject of Miss Gwilt, and that he had been asking a question about her which nobody in his position had a right to ask. Papa said he had been obliged, good-humoredly, to warn Mr. Armadale to be a little more delicate, and a little more careful next time. I didn’t feel much interested, mamma; it didn’t matter to me what Mr. Armadale said or did. Why should I care about it?”
“Saturday. I brought dad’s lunch to the workshop, and he said, ‘I just had a visit from Mr. Armadale; and I want to give you a heads up while I remember.’ I didn’t say anything, mom; I just waited. Dad continued and told me that Mr. Armadale had been talking to him about Miss Gwilt and that he had asked a question about her that he really had no right to ask. Dad said he had to politely warn Mr. Armadale to be a bit more sensitive and careful next time. I wasn’t very interested, mom; it didn’t matter to me what Mr. Armadale said or did. Why should I care?”
“Never mind yourself,” interposed Mrs. Milroy, sharply. “Go on with what your father said. What was he doing when he was talking about Miss Gwilt? How did he look?”
“Forget about yourself,” Mrs. Milroy cut in sharply. “Continue with what your father said. What was he doing when he mentioned Miss Gwilt? How did he seem?”
“Much as usual, mamma. He was walking up and down the workshop; and I took his arm and walked up and down with him.”
“Like always, mom. He was pacing back and forth in the workshop, and I took his arm and walked alongside him.”
“I don’t care what you were doing,” said Mrs. Milroy, more and more irritably. “Did your father tell you what Mr. Armadale’s question was, or did he not?”
“I don’t care what you were doing,” Mrs. Milroy said, getting more and more irritated. “Did your father tell you what Mr. Armadale’s question was, or not?”
“Yes, mamma. He said Mr. Armadale began by mentioning that he was very much interested in Miss Gwilt, and he then went on to ask whether papa could tell him anything about her family misfortunes—”
“Yes, mom. He said Mr. Armadale started by saying that he was really interested in Miss Gwilt, and then he asked if dad could tell him anything about her family's troubles—”
“What!” cried Mrs. Milroy. The word burst from her almost in a scream, and the white enamel on her face cracked in all directions. “Mr. Armadale said that?” she went on, leaning out further and further over the side of the bed.
“What!” yelled Mrs. Milroy. The word shot out of her almost as a scream, and the color drained from her face. “Mr. Armadale said that?” she continued, leaning further and further over the side of the bed.
Neelie started up, and tried to put her mother back on the pillow.
Neelie sat up and tried to reposition her mother back onto the pillow.
“Mamma!” she exclaimed, “are you in pain? Are you ill? You frighten me!”
“Mama!” she exclaimed, “are you hurt? Are you sick? You’re scaring me!”
“Nothing, nothing, nothing,” said Mrs. Milroy. She was too violently agitated to make any other than the commonest excuse. “My nerves are bad this morning; don’t notice it. I’ll try the other side of the pillow. Go on! go on! I’m listening, though I’m not looking at you.” She turned her face to the wall, and clinched her trembling hands convulsively beneath the bedclothes. “I’ve got her!” she whispered to herself, under her breath. “I’ve got her at last!”
“Nothing, nothing, nothing,” Mrs. Milroy said. She was so intensely agitated that she could only come up with the simplest excuse. “My nerves are a mess this morning; just ignore it. I’ll try the other side of the pillow. Keep going! Keep going! I’m listening, even if I’m not looking at you.” She turned her face to the wall and clenched her shaking hands tightly beneath the covers. “I’ve got her!” she whispered to herself, barely audible. “I’ve got her at last!”
“I’m afraid I’ve been talking too much,” said Neelie. “I’m afraid I’ve been stopping here too long. Shall I go downstairs, mamma, and come back later in the day?”
“I’m worried I’ve been talking too much,” Neelie said. “I’m concerned I’ve been here too long. Should I go downstairs, Mom, and come back later today?”
“Go on,” repeated Mrs. Milroy, mechanically. “What did your father say next? Anything more about Mr. Armadale?”
“Go on,” Mrs. Milroy said again, almost like a robot. “What did your dad say next? Did he mention anything else about Mr. Armadale?”
“Nothing more, except how papa answered him,” replied Neelie. “Papa repeated his own words when he told me about it. He said, ‘In the absence of any confidence volunteered by the lady herself, Mr. Armadale, all I know or wish to know—and you must excuse me for saying, all any one else need know or wish to know—is that Miss Gwilt gave me a perfectly satisfactory reference before she entered my house.’ Severe, mamma, wasn’t it? I don’t pity him in the least; he richly deserved it. The next thing was papa’s caution to me. He told me to check Mr. Armadale’s curiosity if he applied to me next. As if he was likely to apply to me! And as if I should listen to him if he did! That’s all, mamma. You won’t suppose, will you, that I have told you this because I want to hinder Mr. Armadale from marrying Miss Gwilt? Let him marry her if he pleases; I don’t care!” said Neelie, in a voice that faltered a little, and with a face which was hardly composed enough to be in perfect harmony with a declaration of indifference. “All I want is to be relieved from the misery of having Miss Gwilt for my governess. I’d rather go to school. I should like to go to school. My mind’s quite changed about all that, only I haven’t the heart to tell papa. I don’t know what’s come to me, I don’t seem to have heart enough for anything now; and when papa takes me on his knee in the evening, and says, ‘Let’s have a talk, Neelie,’ he makes me cry. Would you mind breaking it to him, mamma, that I’ve changed my mind, and I want to go to school?” The tears rose thickly in her eyes, and she failed to see that her mother never even turned on the pillow to look round at her.
“Nothing more, except how Dad answered him,” Neelie replied. “Dad repeated his own words when he told me about it. He said, ‘Without any confidence from the lady herself, Mr. Armadale, all I know or want to know—and you must excuse me for saying that’s all anyone else needs to know or wants to know—is that Miss Gwilt gave me a perfectly satisfactory reference before she came into my house.’ Harsh, wasn’t it, Mom? I don’t feel sorry for him at all; he totally deserved it. The next thing was Dad’s warning to me. He told me to shut down Mr. Armadale’s curiosity if he approached me next. As if he would even come to me! And as if I would listen to him if he did! That’s it, Mom. You don’t think I’ve told you this because I want to stop Mr. Armadale from marrying Miss Gwilt, do you? Let him marry her if he wants; I don’t care!” Neelie said, her voice faltering a little, and her face barely composed enough to match a declaration of indifference. “All I want is to be free from the misery of having Miss Gwilt as my governess. I’d rather go to school. I’d like to go to school. My mind’s totally changed about all that, but I just can’t bring myself to tell Dad. I don’t know what’s wrong with me; I just don’t seem to have the heart for anything now; and when Dad takes me on his lap in the evening and says, ‘Let’s have a talk, Neelie,’ it makes me cry. Could you please tell him, Mom, that I’ve changed my mind and I want to go to school?” Tears filled her eyes, and she didn’t notice that her mother didn’t even turn on the pillow to look at her.
“Yes, yes,” said Mrs. Milroy, vacantly. “You’re a good girl; you shall go to school.”
“Yes, yes,” said Mrs. Milroy, blankly. “You’re a good girl; you can go to school.”
The cruel brevity of the reply, and the tone in which it was spoken, told Neelie plainly that her mother’s attention had been wandering far away from her, and that it was useless and needless to prolong the interview. She turned aside quietly, without a word of remonstrance. It was nothing new in her experience to find herself shut out from her mother’s sympathies. She looked at her eyes in the glass, and, pouring out some cold water, bathed her face. “Miss Gwilt shan’t see I’ve been crying!” thought Neelie, as she went back to the bedside to take her leave. “I’ve tired you out, mamma,” she said, gently. “Let me go now; and let me come back a little later when you have had some rest.”
The harshness of the reply and the way it was said made it clear to Neelie that her mother’s mind was somewhere else, and that continuing the conversation was pointless. She quietly turned away, not even bothering to protest. It wasn’t the first time she had felt distant from her mother’s empathy. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and splashed some cold water on her face. “Miss Gwilt won’t see that I’ve been crying!” Neelie thought as she returned to her mother’s bedside to say goodbye. “I’ve worn you out, Mom,” she said softly. “Let me go now, and I’ll come back a little later when you’ve had some rest.”
“Yes,” repeated her mother, as mechanically as ever; “a little later when I have had some rest.”
“Yeah,” her mother said, just as mechanical as before; “a little later when I’ve had some rest.”
Neelie left the room. The minute after the door had closed on her, Mrs. Milroy rang the bell for her nurse. In the face of the narrative she had just heard, in the face of every reasonable estimate of probabilities, she held to her own jealous conclusions as firmly as ever. “Mr. Armadale may believe her, and my daughter may believe her,” thought the furious woman. “But I know the major; and she can’t deceive me!”
Neelie left the room. As soon as the door closed behind her, Mrs. Milroy rang the bell for her nurse. Despite the story she had just heard and any reasonable assessment of the situation, she clung to her jealous conclusions more firmly than ever. “Mr. Armadale may trust her, and my daughter may trust her,” thought the angry woman. “But I know the major; and she can’t fool me!”
The nurse came in. “Prop me up,” said Mrs. Milroy. “And give me my desk. I want to write.”
The nurse walked in. “Help me sit up,” said Mrs. Milroy. “And bring me my desk. I want to write.”
“You’re excited,” replied the nurse. “You’re not fit to write.”
“You're excited,” the nurse said. “You’re not ready to write.”
“Give me the desk,” reiterated Mrs. Milroy.
“Give me the desk,” Mrs. Milroy repeated.
“Anything more?” asked Rachel, repeating her invariable formula as she placed the desk on the bed.
“Anything else?” Rachel asked, using her usual line as she set the desk on the bed.
“Yes. Come back in half an hour. I shall want you to take a letter to the great house.”
“Yes. Come back in thirty minutes. I’ll need you to deliver a letter to the big house.”
The nurse’s sardonic composure deserted her for once. “Mercy on us!” she exclaimed, with an accent of genuine surprise. “What next? You don’t mean to say you’re going to write—?”
The nurse’s sarcastic calm finally broke. “Goodness!” she exclaimed, genuinely surprised. “What’s next? You can’t be saying you’re going to write—?”
“I am going to write to Mr. Armadale,” interposed Mrs. Milroy; “and you are going to take the letter to him, and wait for an answer; and, mind this, not a living soul but our two selves must know of it in the house.”
“I’m going to write to Mr. Armadale,” Mrs. Milroy interrupted; “and you’re going to deliver the letter to him and wait for a response; and remember, not a single soul but the two of us can know about this in the house.”
“Why are you writing to Mr. Armadale?” asked Rachel. “And why is nobody to know of it but our two selves?”
“Why are you writing to Mr. Armadale?” Rachel asked. “And why should only the two of us know about it?”
“Wait,” rejoined Mrs. Milroy, “and you will see.”
“Wait,” replied Mrs. Milroy, “and you’ll see.”
The nurse’s curiosity, being a woman’s curiosity, declined to wait.
The nurse's curiosity, like any woman's curiosity, couldn't be held back.
“I’ll help you with my eyes open,” she said; “but I won’t help you blindfold.”
“I’ll help you with my eyes open,” she said, “but I won’t help you blindfolded.”
“Oh, if I only had the use of my limbs!” groaned Mrs. Milroy. “You wretch, if I could only do without you!”
“Oh, if only I could use my arms and legs!” groaned Mrs. Milroy. “You wretch, if only I didn’t need you!”
“You have the use of your head,” retorted the impenetrable nurse. “And you ought to know better than to trust me by halves, at this time of day.”
“You’ve got your head on your shoulders,” shot back the unshakeable nurse. “And you should know better than to trust me halfway, especially at this hour.”
It was brutally put; but it was true—doubly true, after the opening of Miss Gwilt’s letter. Mrs. Milroy gave way.
It was harsh to say, but it was true—especially true after reading Miss Gwilt’s letter. Mrs. Milroy gave in.
“What do you want to know?” she asked. “Tell me, and leave me.”
“What do you want to know?” she asked. “Just tell me and then go.”
“I want to know what you are writing to Mr. Armadale about?”
“I want to know what you’re writing to Mr. Armadale about?”
“About Miss Gwilt.”
"About Miss Gwilt."
“What has Mr. Armadale to do with you and Miss Gwilt?”
“What does Mr. Armadale have to do with you and Miss Gwilt?”
Mrs. Milroy held up the letter that had been returned to her by the authorities at the Post-office.
Mrs. Milroy held up the letter that had been sent back to her by the authorities at the Post Office.
“Stoop,” she said. “Miss Gwilt may be listening at the door. I’ll whisper.”
“Bend down,” she said. “Miss Gwilt might be eavesdropping at the door. I’ll whisper.”
The nurse stooped, with her eye on the door. “You know that the postman went with this letter to Kingsdown Crescent?” said Mrs. Milroy. “And you know that he found Mrs. Mandeville gone away, nobody could tell where?”
The nurse bent down, keeping an eye on the door. “Did you know the postman took this letter to Kingsdown Crescent?” Mrs. Milroy asked. “And he found Mrs. Mandeville missing, and no one knew where she had gone?”
“Well,” whispered Rachel “what next?”
“Well,” whispered Rachel, “what's next?”
“This, next. When Mr. Armadale gets the letter that I am going to write to him, he will follow the same road as the postman; and we’ll see what happens when he knocks at Mrs. Mandeville’s door.”
“This, next. When Mr. Armadale gets the letter I’m going to write to him, he’ll follow the same path as the mail carrier; and we’ll see what happens when he knocks on Mrs. Mandeville’s door.”
“How do you get him to the door?”
“How do you get him to the door?”
“I tell him to go to Miss Gwilt’s reference.”
“I tell him to check out Miss Gwilt’s reference.”
“Is he sweet on Miss Gwilt?”
"Is he interested in Miss Gwilt?"
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“Ah!” said the nurse. “I see!”
“Ah!” said the nurse. “I get it!”
III. THE BRINK OF DISCOVERY.
The morning of the interview between Mrs. Milroy and her daughter at the cottage was a morning of serious reflection for the squire at the great house.
The morning of the interview between Mrs. Milroy and her daughter at the cottage was a morning of deep thought for the squire at the big house.
Even Allan’s easy-tempered nature had not been proof against the disturbing influences exercised on it by the events of the last three days. Midwinter’s abrupt departure had vexed him; and Major Milroy’s reception of his inquiries relating to Miss Gwilt weighed unpleasantly on his mind. Since his visit to the cottage, he had felt impatient and ill at ease, for the first time in his life, with everybody who came near him. Impatient with Pedgift Junior, who had called on the previous evening to announce his departure for London, on business, the next day, and to place his services at the disposal of his client; ill at ease with Miss Gwilt, at a secret meeting with her in the park that morning; and ill at ease in his own company, as he now sat moodily smoking in the solitude of his room. “I can’t live this sort of life much longer,” thought Allan. “If nobody will help me to put the awkward question to Miss Gwilt, I must stumble on some way of putting it for myself.”
Even Allan’s easygoing nature hadn’t been able to withstand the unsettling effects of the events from the last three days. Midwinter’s sudden departure had annoyed him, and Major Milroy’s reaction to his questions about Miss Gwilt weighed heavily on his mind. Since his visit to the cottage, he felt impatient and uncomfortable for the first time in his life with everyone around him. He was impatient with Pedgift Junior, who had stopped by the night before to announce his departure for London on business the next day and to offer his services to his client; uncomfortable with Miss Gwilt during their secret meeting in the park that morning; and uncomfortable in his own company as he now sat moodily smoking alone in his room. “I can’t keep living like this much longer,” Allan thought. “If no one will help me ask Miss Gwilt the difficult question, I’ll have to figure out a way to ask it myself.”
What way? The answer to that question was as hard to find as ever. Allan tried to stimulate his sluggish invention by walking up and down the room, and was disturbed by the appearance of the footman at the first turn.
What way? The answer to that question was just as elusive as ever. Allan tried to spark his sluggish creativity by pacing back and forth in the room, but was interrupted by the footman’s arrival at the first turn.
“Now then! what is it?” he asked, impatiently.
“Alright! What is it?” he asked, impatiently.
“A letter, sir; and the person waits for an answer.”
“A letter, sir; and the person is waiting for a response.”
Allan looked at the address. It was in a strange handwriting. He opened the letter, and a little note inclosed in it dropped to the ground. The note was directed, still in the strange handwriting, to “Mrs. Mandeville, 18 Kingsdown Crescent, Bayswater. Favored by Mr. Armadale.” More and more surprised, Allan turned for information to the signature at the end of the letter. It was “Anne Milroy.”
Allan looked at the address. It was in strange handwriting. He opened the letter, and a small note inside it fell to the ground. The note was addressed, still in the unusual handwriting, to “Mrs. Mandeville, 18 Kingsdown Crescent, Bayswater. Delivered by Mr. Armadale.” More and more puzzled, Allan turned to the signature at the end of the letter. It read “Anne Milroy.”
“Anne Milroy?” he repeated. “It must be the major’s wife. What can she possibly want with me?” By way of discovering what she wanted, Allan did at last what he might more wisely have done at first. He sat down to read the letter.
“Anne Milroy?” he repeated. “It has to be the major’s wife. What could she possibly want from me?” To find out what she wanted, Allan finally did what he should have done from the start. He sat down to read the letter.
[“Private.”] “The Cottage, Monday.
“Private.” “The Cottage, Monday.”
“DEAR SIR—The name at the end of these lines will, I fear, recall to you a very rude return made on my part, some time since, for an act of neighborly kindness on yours. I can only say in excuse that I am a great sufferer, and that, if I was ill-tempered enough, in a moment of irritation under severe pain, to send back your present of fruit, I have regretted doing so ever since. Attribute this letter, if you please, to my desire to make some atonement, and to my wish to be of service to our good friend and landlord, if I possibly can.
“DEAR SIR—The name at the end of this letter will, I’m afraid, remind you of a very rude response I gave some time ago to your thoughtful act of kindness. I can only excuse my behavior by saying that I’ve been suffering a lot, and that if I was ill-tempered enough, in a moment of irritation from severe pain, to send back your gift of fruit, I have regretted it ever since. Please consider this letter as my attempt to make amends and my desire to be of help to our good friend and landlord, if I can.”
“I have been informed of the question which you addressed to my husband, the day before yesterday, on the subject of Miss Gwilt. From all I have heard of you, I am quite sure that your anxiety to know more of this charming person than you know now is an anxiety proceeding from the most honorable motives. Believing this, I feel a woman’s interest—incurable invalid as I am—in assisting you. If you are desirous of becoming acquainted with Miss Gwilt’s family circumstances without directly appealing to Miss Gwilt herself, it rests with you to make the discovery; and I will tell you how.
“I have been informed about the question you asked my husband the day before yesterday regarding Miss Gwilt. From everything I’ve heard about you, I’m sure that your eagerness to learn more about this delightful person shows that your intentions are very honorable. Given this, I feel a woman’s interest—in spite of being an incurable invalid—in helping you. If you want to get to know Miss Gwilt’s family situation without asking her directly, it’s up to you to find out; and I’ll explain how.”
“It so happens that, some few days since, I wrote privately to Miss Gwilt’s reference on this very subject. I had long observed that my governess was singularly reluctant to speak of her family and her friends; and, without attributing her silence to other than perfectly proper motives, I felt it my duty to my daughter to make some inquiry on the subject. The answer that I have received is satisfactory as far as it goes. My correspondent informs me that Miss Gwilt’s story is a very sad one, and that her own conduct throughout has been praiseworthy in the extreme. The circumstances (of a domestic nature, as I gather) are all plainly stated in a collection of letters now in the possession of Miss Gwilt’s reference. This lady is perfectly willing to let me see the letters; but not possessing copies of them, and being personally responsible for their security, she is reluctant, if it can be avoided, to trust them to the post; and she begs me to wait until she or I can find some reliable person who can be employed to transmit the packet from her hands to mine.
“It happens that a few days ago, I wrote privately to Miss Gwilt’s reference about this very topic. I’ve long noticed that my governess is unusually hesitant to talk about her family and friends; and while I don’t think her silence is due to anything other than completely appropriate reasons, I felt it was my duty to inquire for my daughter’s sake. The answer I received is satisfactory as far as it goes. My correspondent tells me that Miss Gwilt’s background is very sad, and that her behavior throughout has been extremely commendable. The circumstances (domestic in nature, as I understand) are all clearly laid out in a collection of letters that Miss Gwilt’s reference currently holds. This lady is perfectly willing to let me see the letters; however, since she doesn’t have copies of them and is personally responsible for their safety, she is hesitant, if possible, to send them by mail. She asks me to wait until either she or I can find a trustworthy person to deliver the package directly from her hands to mine.”
“Under these circumstances, it has struck me that you might possibly, with your interest in the matter, be not unwilling to take charge of the papers. If I am wrong in this idea, and if you are not disposed, after what I have told you, to go to the trouble and expense of a journey to London, you have only to burn my letter and inclosure, and to think no more about it. If you decide on becoming my envoy, I gladly provide you with the necessary introduction to Mrs. Mandeville. You have only, on presenting it, to receive the letters in a sealed packet, to send them here on your return to Thorpe Ambrose, and to wait an early communication from me acquainting you with the result.
“Given the situation, I thought you might be interested in taking charge of the papers. If I'm mistaken and you don't want to make the trip to London after what I've shared with you, feel free to just burn my letter and the enclosed documents and forget about it. However, if you do choose to be my representative, I'll happily give you an introduction to Mrs. Mandeville. When you present it, you'll receive the letters in a sealed packet, and all you need to do is send them back here when you return to Thorpe Ambrose, then wait for my update on what happens next.”
“In conclusion, I have only to add that I see no impropriety in your taking (if you feel so inclined) the course that I propose to you. Miss Gwilt’s manner of receiving such allusions as I have made to her family circumstances has rendered it unpleasant for me (and would render it quite impossible for you) to seek information in the first instance from herself. I am certainly justified in applying to her reference; and you are certainly not to blame for being the medium of safely transmitting a sealed communication with one lady to another. If I find in that communication family secrets which cannot honorably be mentioned to any third person, I shall, of course, be obliged to keep you waiting until I have first appealed to Miss Gwilt. If I find nothing recorded but what is to her honor, and what is sure to raise her still higher in your estimation, I am undeniably doing her a service by taking you into my confidence. This is how I look at the matter; but pray don’t allow me to influence you.
“In conclusion, I just want to add that I don’t see anything wrong with you taking the path I’m suggesting if you feel comfortable doing so. Miss Gwilt’s way of responding to the hints I’ve made about her family situation has made it awkward for me (and would make it quite difficult for you) to ask her directly for information. I’m definitely justified in referring to her; and you shouldn’t feel guilty for being the one to safely pass along a sealed message from one lady to another. If I find family secrets in that message that shouldn’t be shared with anyone else, I will, of course, need to keep you waiting until I’ve talked to Miss Gwilt first. If I find nothing but information that reflects well on her and that is sure to elevate her in your regard, then I’m definitely doing her a favor by confiding in you. That’s my perspective on the matter; but please don’t let me sway you.
“In any case, I have one condition to make, which I am sure you will understand to be indispensable. The most innocent actions are liable, in this wicked world, to the worst possible interpretation I must, therefore, request that you will consider this communication as strictly private. I write to you in a confidence which is on no account (until circumstances may, in my opinion, justify the revelation of it) to extend beyond our two selves,
“In any case, I have one condition to make, which I’m sure you will understand is essential. The most innocent actions can be viewed in the worst light in this wicked world, so I must ask you to consider this communication as strictly private. I’m writing to you in a confidence that, under no circumstances (until I feel it’s justified to reveal it), should extend beyond the two of us.
“Believe me, dear sir, truly yours,
“Believe me, dear sir, truly yours,
“ANNE MILROY.”
"ANNE MILROY."
In this tempting form the unscrupulous ingenuity of the major’s wife had set the trap. Without a moment’s hesitation, Allan followed his impulses, as usual, and walked straight into it, writing his answer and pursuing his own reflections simultaneously in a highly characteristic state of mental confusion.
In this enticing setup, the cunning creativity of the major's wife had laid the trap. Without a second thought, Allan acted on his instincts, as always, and walked right into it, writing his response while simultaneously lost in his own thoughts in a very typical state of mental chaos.
“By Jupiter, this is kind of Mrs. Milroy!” (“My dear madam.”) “Just the thing I wanted, at the time when I needed it most!” (“I don’t know how to express my sense of your kindness, except by saying that I will go to London and fetch the letters with the greatest pleasure.”) “She shall have a basket of fruit regularly every day, all through the season.” (“I will go at once, dear madam, and be back to-morrow.”) “Ah, nothing like the women for helping one when one is in love! This is just what my poor mother would have done in Mrs. Milroy’s place.” (“On my word of honor as a gentleman, I will take the utmost care of the letters; and keep the thing strictly private, as you request.”) “I would have given five hundred pounds to anybody who would have put me up to the right way to speak to Miss Gwilt; and here is this blessed woman does it for nothing.” (“Believe me, my dear madam, gratefully yours, Allan Armadale.”)
“By Jupiter, this is typical of Mrs. Milroy!” (“My dear madam.”) “Just what I needed, at the moment I needed it most!” (“I don’t know how to express my gratitude for your kindness, except by saying that I will go to London and bring back the letters with great pleasure.”) “She will get a basket of fruit every day, all season long.” (“I will go right away, dear madam, and be back tomorrow.”) “Ah, there’s nothing like women to help someone when they’re in love! This is exactly what my poor mother would have done if she were in Mrs. Milroy’s position.” (“On my word of honor as a gentleman, I will take the utmost care of the letters and keep everything strictly private, as you ask.”) “I would have paid five hundred pounds to anyone who could tell me the right way to talk to Miss Gwilt; and here this wonderful woman does it for free.” (“Believe me, my dear madam, gratefully yours, Allan Armadale.”)
Having sent his reply out to Mrs. Milroy’s messenger, Allan paused in a momentary perplexity. He had an appointment with Miss Gwilt in the park for the next morning. It was absolutely necessary to let her know that he would be unable to keep it. She had forbidden him to write, and he had no chance that day of seeing her alone. In this difficulty, he determined to let the necessary intimation reach her through the medium of a message to the major, announcing his departure for London on business, and asking if he could be of service to any member of the family. Having thus removed the only obstacle to his freedom of action, Allan consulted the time-table, and found, to his disappointment, that there was a good hour to spare before it would be necessary to drive to the railway station. In his existing frame of mind he would infinitely have preferred starting for London in a violent hurry.
Having sent his reply to Mrs. Milroy's messenger, Allan paused, feeling a bit confused. He had a meeting with Miss Gwilt in the park the next morning. It was crucial to let her know he wouldn’t be able to make it. She had told him not to write, and he had no chance that day to see her alone. In this tricky situation, he decided to send a message to the major, letting him know about his trip to London for business and asking if he could help any family member. With that obstacle out of the way, Allan checked the schedule and found, to his disappointment, that he had a whole hour to kill before he needed to leave for the train station. In his current mood, he would have much preferred to rush off to London.
When the time came at last, Allan, on passing the steward’s office, drummed at the door, and called through it to Mr. Bashwood, “I’m going to town; back to-morrow.” There was no answer from within; and the servant, interposing, informed his master that Mr. Bashwood, having no business to attend to that day, had locked up the office, and had left some hours since.
When the time finally came, Allan, passing the steward’s office, knocked on the door and called out to Mr. Bashwood, “I’m heading to town; I’ll be back tomorrow.” There was no response from inside, and the servant, stepping in, told his master that Mr. Bashwood, having no work to do that day, had locked up the office and left a few hours earlier.
On reaching the station, the first person whom Allan encountered was Pedgift Junior, going to London on the legal business which he had mentioned on the previous evening at the great house. The necessary explanations exchanged, and it was decided that the two should travel in the same carriage. Allan was glad to have a companion; and Pedgift, enchanted as usual to make himself useful to his client, bustled away to get the tickets and see to the luggage. Sauntering to and fro on the platform, until his faithful follower returned, Allan came suddenly upon no less a person than Mr. Bashwood himself, standing back in a corner with the guard of the train, and putting a letter (accompanied, to all appearance, by a fee) privately into the man’s hand.
Upon arriving at the station, the first person Allan ran into was Pedgift Junior, who was heading to London for the legal work he mentioned the night before at the big house. After exchanging some necessary explanations, they decided to share a carriage. Allan was happy to have a travel companion, and Pedgift, always eager to assist his client, hurried off to buy the tickets and take care of the luggage. While pacing back and forth on the platform, waiting for his loyal follower to return, Allan unexpectedly came across none other than Mr. Bashwood himself, standing back in a corner with the train guard and discreetly handing a letter (which apparently included a fee) to the man.
“Halloo!” cried Allan, in his hearty way. “Something important there, Mr. Bashwood, eh?”
“Hello!” shouted Allan, enthusiastically. “Is there something important there, Mr. Bashwood?”
If Mr. Bashwood had been caught in the act of committing murder, he could hardly have shown greater alarm than he now testified at Allan’s sudden discovery of him. Snatching off his dingy old hat, he bowed bare-headed, in a palsy of nervous trembling from head to foot. “No, sir—no, sir; only a little letter, a little letter, a little letter,” said the deputy-steward, taking refuge in reiteration, and bowing himself swiftly backward out of his employer’s sight.
If Mr. Bashwood had been caught red-handed committing murder, he couldn't have been more shocked than he was when Allan suddenly found him. Yanking off his dirty old hat, he bowed his head, shaking nervously from head to toe. “No, sir—no, sir; just a little letter, a little letter, a little letter,” said the deputy-steward, repeating himself and quickly bowing backward out of his employer’s view.
Allan turned carelessly on his heel. “I wish I could take to that fellow,” he thought, “but I can’t; he’s such a sneak! What the deuce was there to tremble about? Does he think I want to pry into his secrets?”
Allan turned casually on his heel. “I wish I could get along with that guy,” he thought, “but I can’t; he’s such a sneak! What the heck was there to be so nervous about? Does he think I want to snoop into his secrets?”
Mr. Bashwood’s secret on this occasion concerned Allan more nearly than Allan supposed. The letter which he had just placed in charge of the guard was nothing less than a word of warning addressed to Mrs. Oldershaw, and written by Miss Gwilt.
Mr. Bashwood’s secret this time was more relevant to Allan than he realized. The letter he had just handed to the guard was actually a warning for Mrs. Oldershaw, written by Miss Gwilt.
“If you can hurry your business” (wrote the major’s governess) “do so, and come back to London immediately. Things are going wrong here, and Miss Milroy is at the bottom of the mischief. This morning she insisted on taking up her mother’s breakfast, always on other occasions taken up by the nurse. They had a long confabulation in private; and half an hour later I saw the nurse slip out with a letter, and take the path that leads to the great house. The sending of the letter has been followed by young Armadale’s sudden departure for London—in the face of an appointment which he had with me for to-morrow morning. This looks serious. The girl is evidently bold enough to make a fight of it for the position of Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, and she has found out some way of getting her mother to help her. Don’t suppose I am in the least nervous or discouraged, and don’t do anything till you hear from me again. Only get back to London, for I may have serious need of your assistance in the course of the next day or two.
“If you can wrap up your business quickly” (wrote the major’s governess) “please do so and come back to London immediately. Things are going wrong here, and Miss Milroy is behind it all. This morning she insisted on taking her mother’s breakfast, which is usually done by the nurse. They had a long private conversation; and half an hour later, I saw the nurse sneak out with a letter and head toward the big house. The sending of that letter was quickly followed by young Armadale’s sudden departure for London, despite having an appointment with me for tomorrow morning. This seems serious. The girl is clearly bold enough to fight for the position of Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, and she’s found a way to get her mother’s support. Don’t think for a second that I’m nervous or discouraged, and don’t do anything until you hear from me again. Just get back to London, as I might really need your help in the next day or two.”
“I send this letter to town (to save a post) by the midday train, in charge of the guard. As you insist on knowing every step I take at Thorpe Ambrose, I may as well tell you that my messenger (for I can’t go to the station myself) is that curious old creature whom I mentioned to you in my first letter. Ever since that time he has been perpetually hanging about here for a look at me. I am not sure whether I frighten him or fascinate him; perhaps I do both together. All you need care to know is that I can trust him with my trifling errands, and possibly, as time goes on, with something more. L. G.”
“I’m sending this letter to town (to save on postage) with the midday train, in the hands of the guard. Since you want to know everything I’m doing at Thorpe Ambrose, I might as well tell you that my messenger (since I can’t go to the station myself) is that interesting old guy I mentioned in my first letter. Ever since then, he’s been hanging around to catch a glimpse of me. I’m not sure if I scare him or if he’s fascinated by me; maybe it’s a bit of both. All you really need to know is that I can trust him with my little tasks, and maybe, as time goes on, with something more important. L. G.”
Meanwhile the train had started from the Thorpe Ambrose station, and the squire and his traveling companion were on their way to London.
Meanwhile, the train had left the Thorpe Ambrose station, and the squire and his travel buddy were headed to London.
Some men, finding themselves in Allan’s company under present circumstances, might have felt curious to know the nature of his business in the metropolis. Young Pedgift’s unerring instinct as a man of the world penetrated the secret without the slightest difficulty. “The old story,” thought this wary old head, wagging privately on its lusty young shoulders, “There’s a woman in the case, as usual. Any other business would have been turned over to me.” Perfectly satisfied with this conclusion, Mr. Pedgift the younger proceeded, with an eye to his professional interest, to make himself agreeable to his client in the capacity of volunteer courier. He seized on the whole administrative business of the journey to London, as he had seized on the whole administrative business of the picnic at the Broads. On reaching the terminus, Allan was ready to go to any hotel that might be recommended. His invaluable solicitor straight-way drove him to a hotel at which the Pedgift family had been accustomed to put up for three generations.
Some guys, finding themselves with Allan in the current situation, might have felt curious about what he was doing in the city. Young Pedgift's sharp instinct as a worldly man figured it out without any trouble. "Same old story," thought this cautious old guy, balancing on his energetic young shoulders, "There's a woman involved, like always. Any other business would have been handed over to me." Fully satisfied with this conclusion, Mr. Pedgift the younger focused, with his professional interests in mind, on making himself helpful to his client as a volunteer courier. He took over all the planning for the trip to London, just like he had taken charge of all the details for the picnic at the Broads. When they arrived at the station, Allan was ready to head to any hotel that was recommended. His invaluable lawyer immediately drove him to a hotel where the Pedgift family had been staying for three generations.
“You don’t object to vegetables, sir?” said the cheerful Pedgift, as the cab stopped at a hotel in Covent Garden Market. “Very good; you may leave the rest to my grandfather, my father, and me. I don’t know which of the three is most beloved and respected in this house. How d’ye do, William? (Our head-waiter, Mr. Armadale.) Is your wife’s rheumatism better, and does the little boy get on nicely at school? Your master’s out, is he? Never mind, you’ll do. This, William, is Mr. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose. I have prevailed on Mr. Armadale to try our house. Have you got the bedroom I wrote for? Very good. Let Mr. Armadale have it instead of me (my grandfather’s favorite bedroom, sir; No. 57, on the second floor); pray take it; I can sleep anywhere. Will you have the mattress on the top of the feather-bed? You hear, William? Tell Matilda, the mattress on the top of the feather-bed. How is Matilda? Has she got the toothache, as usual? The head-chambermaid, Mr. Armadale, and a most extraordinary woman; she will not part with a hollow tooth in her lower jaw. My grandfather says, ‘Have it out;’ my father says, ‘Have it out;’ I say, ‘Have it out;’ and Matilda turns a deaf ear to all three of us. Yes, William, yes; if Mr. Armadale approves, this sitting-room will do. About dinner, sir? Shall we say, in that case, half-past seven? William, half-past seven. Not the least need to order anything, Mr. Armadale. The head-waiter has only to give my compliments to the cook, and the best dinner in London will be sent up, punctual to the minute, as a necessary consequence. Say, Mr. Pedgift Junior, if you please, William; otherwise, sir, we might get my grandfather’s dinner or my father’s dinner, and they might turn out a little too heavy and old-fashioned in their way of feeding for you and me. As to the wine, William. At dinner, my Champagne, and the sherry that my father thinks nasty. After dinner, the claret with the blue seal—the wine my innocent grandfather said wasn’t worth sixpence a bottle. Ha! ha! poor old boy! You will send up the evening papers and the play-bills, just as usual, and—that will do? I think, William, for the present. An invaluable servant, Mr. Armadale; they’re all invaluable servants in this house. We may not be fashionable here, sir, but by the Lord Harry we are snug! A cab? you would like a cab? Don’t stir! I’ve rung the bell twice—that means, Cab wanted in a hurry. Might I ask, Mr. Armadale, which way your business takes you? Toward Bayswater? Would you mind dropping me in the park? It’s a habit of mine when I’m in London to air myself among the aristocracy. Yours truly, sir, has an eye for a fine woman and a fine horse; and when he’s in Hyde Park he’s quite in his native element.” Thus the all-accomplished Pedgift ran on; and by these little arts did he recommend himself to the good opinion of his client.
“You’re okay with vegetables, right?” said the cheerful Pedgift as the cab pulled up to a hotel in Covent Garden Market. “Great! You can leave the rest to my grandfather, my father, and me. I’m not sure which of the three is more loved and respected in this house. How are you, William? (That’s our head waiter, Mr. Armadale.) Is your wife’s rheumatism any better, and is your little boy doing well at school? Your boss isn’t in, is he? No worries, you’ll be fine. This is Mr. Armadale from Thorpe Ambrose. I convinced Mr. Armadale to try our place. Do you have the room I requested? Awesome. Let Mr. Armadale have it instead of me (it’s my grandfather’s favorite room, sir; No. 57, on the second floor); please take it; I can sleep anywhere. Do you want the mattress on top of the feather bed? Did you hear that, William? Ask Matilda for the mattress on top of the feather bed. How’s Matilda? Does she have that toothache again? She’s our head chambermaid, Mr. Armadale, and quite an extraordinary woman; she just won’t let go of a bad tooth in her lower jaw. My grandfather says, ‘Get it pulled;’ my father says, ‘Get it pulled;’ I say, ‘Get it pulled;’ and Matilda ignores all three of us. Yes, William, yes; if Mr. Armadale agrees, this sitting room will work. What about dinner, sir? Should we say half-past seven? William, half-past seven. No need to order anything specific, Mr. Armadale. The head waiter just needs to pass along my compliments to the cook, and the best dinner in London will be on time, as a matter of course. Make sure to say Mr. Pedgift Junior, please, William; otherwise, we might end up with my grandfather’s or my father’s dinner, and those might be a bit too heavy and old-fashioned for you and me. Now, about the wine, William. At dinner, my Champagne, and the sherry that my father thinks is terrible. After dinner, the claret with the blue seal—the wine my innocent grandfather said wasn’t worth sixpence a bottle. Ha! ha! poor old thing! You’ll send up the evening papers and the playbills, just like usual, and that’s it, I think, William. An invaluable servant, Mr. Armadale; they’re all invaluable here. We might not be trendy, sir, but by God, we’re cozy! A cab? You’d like a cab? Don’t worry! I’ve rung the bell twice—that means, Cab wanted in a hurry. May I ask, Mr. Armadale, which way is your business taking you? Toward Bayswater? Would you mind dropping me in the park? It’s become a habit of mine when I’m in London to stroll among the upper class. Yours truly, sir, has an eye for a fine woman and a fine horse; and when he’s in Hyde Park, he’s right at home.” Thus the ever-capable Pedgift continued, and with these little charms, he won the good opinion of his client.
When the dinner hour united the traveling companions again in their sitting-room at the hotel, a far less acute observer than young Pedgift must have noticed the marked change that appeared in Allan’s manner. He looked vexed and puzzled, and sat drumming with his fingers on the dining-table without uttering a word.
When dinner time brought the traveling companions back together in their hotel sitting room, even a less observant person than young Pedgift would have noticed the significant change in Allan’s behavior. He looked annoyed and confused, and he sat drumming his fingers on the dining table without saying anything.
“I’m afraid something has happened to annoy you, sir, since we parted company in the Park?” said Pedgift Junior. “Excuse the question; I only ask it in case I can be of any use.”
“I’m afraid something has upset you, sir, since we last met in the Park?” said Pedgift Junior. “Sorry to ask; I only bring it up in case I can help.”
“Something that I never expected has happened,” returned Allan; “I don’t know what to make of it. I should like to have your opinion,” he added, after a little hesitation; “that is to say, if you will excuse my not entering into any particulars?”
“Something I never expected has happened,” Allan said. “I’m not sure what to think about it. I would like to hear your opinion,” he added after a moment of hesitation, “that is, if you don’t mind me not going into any details?”
“Certainly!” assented young Pedgift. “Sketch it in outline, sir. The merest hint will do; I wasn’t born yesterday.” (“Oh, these women!” thought the youthful philosopher, in parenthesis.)
“Definitely!” agreed young Pedgift. “Just give me a rough idea, sir. A simple hint will suffice; I wasn’t born yesterday.” (“Oh, these women!” thought the young philosopher, in parentheses.)
“Well,” began Allan, “you know what I said when we got to this hotel; I said I had a place to go to in Bayswater” (Pedgift mentally checked off the first point: Case in the suburbs, Bayswater); “and a person—that is to say—no—as I said before, a person to inquire after.” (Pedgift checked off the next point: Person in the case. She-person, or he-person? She-person, unquestionably!) “Well, I went to the house, and when I asked for her—I mean the person—she—that is to say, the person—oh, confound it!” cried Allan, “I shall drive myself mad, and you, too, if I try to tell my story in this roundabout way. Here it is in two words. I went to No. 18 Kingsdown Crescent, to see a lady named Mandeville; and, when I asked for her, the servant said Mrs. Mandeville had gone away, without telling anybody where, and without even leaving an address at which letters could be sent to her. There! it’s out at last. And what do you think of it now?”
“Well,” Allan started, “you remember when we got to this hotel; I said I had a place to go in Bayswater” (Pedgift mentally checked off the first point: Case in the suburbs, Bayswater); “and a person—well, no—as I mentioned earlier, a person to ask about.” (Pedgift checked off the next point: Person in the case. She-person, or he-person? She-person, definitely!) “So, I went to the house, and when I asked for her—I mean the person—she—that is, the person—oh, damn it!” shouted Allan, “I’m going to drive myself crazy, and you too, if I keep trying to tell my story like this. Here it is in two words. I went to No. 18 Kingsdown Crescent to see a lady named Mandeville; and when I asked for her, the servant said Mrs. Mandeville had left, without telling anyone where, and without even leaving an address where letters could be sent to her. There! It’s finally said. What do you think of it now?”
“Tell me first, sir,” said the wary Pedgift, “what inquiries you made when you found this lady had vanished?”
“Tell me first, sir,” said the cautious Pedgift, “what questions did you ask when you discovered this lady was missing?”
“Inquiries!” repeated Allan. “I was utterly staggered; I didn’t say anything. What inquiries ought I to have made?”
“Inquiries!” Allan exclaimed again. “I was completely shocked; I didn’t say anything. What questions should I have asked?”
Pedgift Junior cleared his throat, and crossed his legs in a strictly professional manner.
Pedgift Junior cleared his throat and crossed his legs in a very professional way.
“I have no wish, Mr. Armadale,” he began, “to inquire into your business with Mrs. Mandeville—”
“I have no desire, Mr. Armadale,” he started, “to ask about your dealings with Mrs. Mandeville—”
“No,” interposed Allan, bluntly; “I hope you won’t inquire into that. My business with Mrs. Mandeville must remain a secret.”
“No,” Allan interrupted, plainly; “I hope you won’t look into that. My dealings with Mrs. Mandeville need to stay a secret.”
“But,” pursued Pedgift, laying down the law with the forefinger of one hand on the outstretched palm of the other, “I may, perhaps, be allowed to ask generally whether your business with Mrs. Mandeville is of a nature to interest you in tracing her from Kingsdown Crescent to her present residence?”
“But,” continued Pedgift, firmly pointing with one hand to the outstretched palm of the other, “may I ask if your business with Mrs. Mandeville is important enough for you to want to trace her from Kingsdown Crescent to where she currently lives?”
“Certainly!” said Allan. “I have a very particular reason for wishing to see her.”
“Of course!” said Allan. “I have a really specific reason for wanting to see her.”
“In that case, sir,” returned Pedgift Junior, “there were two obvious questions which you ought to have asked, to begin with—namely, on what date Mrs. Mandeville left, and how she left. Having discovered this, you should have ascertained next under what domestic circumstances she went away—whether there was a misunderstanding with anybody; say a difficulty about money matters. Also, whether she went away alone, or with somebody else. Also, whether the house was her own, or whether she only lodged in it. Also, in the latter event—”
“In that case, sir,” replied Pedgift Junior, “there were two obvious questions you should have asked to start with—specifically, what date Mrs. Mandeville left and how she left. Once you figured that out, you should have looked into the domestic circumstances surrounding her departure—whether there was a misunderstanding with anyone, like a money issue. Also, whether she left alone or with someone else. Plus, whether the house was hers or if she just rented a room there. And if it was the latter—”
“Stop! stop! you’re making my head swim,” cried Allan. “I don’t understand all these ins and outs. I’m not used to this sort of thing.”
“Stop! Stop! You’re making my head spin,” Allan shouted. “I don’t get all these details. I’m not used to this kind of stuff.”
“I’ve been used to it myself from my childhood upward, sir,” remarked Pedgift. “And if I can be of any assistance, say the word.”
“I’ve been familiar with it myself since I was a child, sir,” said Pedgift. “And if I can help in any way, just let me know.”
“You’re very kind,” returned Allan. “If you could only help me to find Mrs. Mandeville; and if you wouldn’t mind leaving the thing afterward entirely in my hands—?”
“You’re really kind,” Allan replied. “If you could just help me find Mrs. Mandeville; and if you wouldn’t mind leaving everything else completely in my hands—?”
“I’ll leave it in your hands, sir, with all the pleasure in life,” said Pedgift Junior. (“And I’ll lay five to one,” he added, mentally, “when the time comes, you’ll leave it in mine!”) “We’ll go to Bayswater together, Mr. Armadale, to-morrow morning. In the meantime here’s the soup. The case now before the court is, Pleasure versus Business. I don’t know what you say, sir; I say, without a moment’s hesitation, Verdict for the plaintiff. Let us gather our rosebuds while we may. Excuse my high spirits, Mr. Armadale. Though buried in the country, I was made for a London life; the very air of the metropolis intoxicates me.” With that avowal the irresistible Pedgift placed a chair for his patron, and issued his orders cheerfully to his viceroy, the head-waiter. “Iced punch, William, after the soup. I answer for the punch, Mr. Armadale; it’s made after a recipe of my great-uncle’s. He kept a tavern, and founded the fortunes of the family. I don’t mind telling you the Pedgifts have had a publican among them; there’s no false pride about me. ‘Worth makes the man (as Pope says) and want of it the fellow; the rest is all but leather and prunella.’ I cultivate poetry as well as music, sir, in my leisure hours; in fact, I’m more or less on familiar terms with the whole of the nine Muses. Aha! here’s the punch! The memory of my great-uncle, the publican, Mr. Armadale—drunk in solemn silence!”
“I’ll leave it in your hands, sir, with all the pleasure in the world,” said Pedgift Junior. (“And I’ll bet five to one,” he thought, “when the time comes, you’ll leave it in mine!”) “We’ll go to Bayswater together tomorrow morning, Mr. Armadale. In the meantime, here’s the soup. The case now before the court is Pleasure versus Business. I don’t know about you, sir; I say, without a moment’s hesitation, Verdict for the plaintiff. Let’s gather our rosebuds while we can. Excuse my high spirits, Mr. Armadale. Though I’m stuck in the countryside, I was made for life in London; the very air of the city intoxicates me.” With that declaration, the irresistible Pedgift pulled out a chair for his patron and cheerfully gave his orders to his viceroy, the head waiter. “Iced punch, William, after the soup. I vouch for the punch, Mr. Armadale; it’s made from a recipe from my great-uncle. He ran a tavern and built the family fortune. I don’t mind admitting the Pedgifts have had a publican among us; there’s no false pride here. ‘Worth makes the man (as Pope says) and lack of it the fellow; the rest is just leather and prunella.’ I enjoy poetry as much as music, sir, in my spare time; in fact, I’m more or less on friendly terms with all nine Muses. Aha! here’s the punch! To the memory of my great-uncle, the publican, Mr. Armadale—drunk in solemn silence!”
Allan tried hard to emulate his companion’s gayety and good humor, but with very indifferent success. His visit to Kingsdown Crescent recurred ominously again and again to his memory all through the dinner, and all through the public amusements to which he and his legal adviser repaired at a later hour of the evening. When Pedgift Junior put out his candle that night, he shook his wary head, and regretfully apostrophized “the women” for the second time.
Allan worked hard to match his companion’s cheerfulness and good spirits, but he didn’t succeed very well. His visit to Kingsdown Crescent kept haunting his thoughts during dinner and throughout the public events they attended later that evening. When Pedgift Junior blew out his candle that night, he shook his cautious head and lamented “the women” for the second time.
By ten o’clock the next morning the indefatigable Pedgift was on the scene of action. To Allan’s great relief, he proposed making the necessary inquiries at Kingsdown Crescent in his own person, while his patron waited near at hand, in the cab which had brought them from the hotel. After a delay of little more than five minutes, he reappeared, in full possession of all attainable particulars. His first proceeding was to request Allan to step out of the cab, and to pay the driver. Next, he politely offered his arm, and led the way round the corner of the crescent, across a square, and into a by-street, which was rendered exceptionally lively by the presence of the local cab-stand. Here he stopped, and asked jocosely whether Mr. Armadale saw his way now, or whether it would be necessary to test his patience by making an explanation.
By ten o’clock the next morning, the tireless Pedgift was at the location. To Allan’s great relief, he suggested handling the inquiries at Kingsdown Crescent himself, while his patron waited nearby in the cab they had taken from the hotel. After a delay of just over five minutes, he returned, fully informed about all the relevant details. His first action was to ask Allan to step out of the cab and pay the driver. Then, he politely offered his arm and led the way around the corner of the crescent, across a square, and into a side street, which was especially lively due to the nearby cab stand. Here, he paused and jokingly asked if Mr. Armadale could see the way forward now, or if it would be necessary to test his patience with an explanation.
“See my way?” repeated Allan, in bewilderment. “I see nothing but a cab-stand.”
“Do you see what I mean?” Allan said, confused. “All I can see is a taxi stand.”
Pedgift Junior smiled compassionately, and entered on his explanation. It was a lodging-house at Kingsdown Crescent, he begged to state to begin with. He had insisted on seeing the landlady. A very nice person, with all the remains of having been a fine girl about fifty years ago; quite in Pedgift’s style—if he had only been alive at the beginning of the present century—quite in Pedgift’s style. But perhaps Mr. Armadale would prefer hearing about Mrs. Mandeville? Unfortunately, there was nothing to tell. There had been no quarreling, and not a farthing left unpaid: the lodger had gone, and there wasn’t an explanatory circumstance to lay hold of anywhere. It was either Mrs. Mandeville’s way to vanish, or there was something under the rose, quite undiscoverable so far. Pedgift had got the date on which she left, and the time of day at which she left, and the means by which she left. The means might help to trace her. She had gone away in a cab which the servant had fetched from the nearest stand. The stand was now before their eyes; and the waterman was the first person to apply to—going to the waterman for information being clearly (if Mr. Armadale would excuse the joke) going to the fountain-head. Treating the subject in this airy manner, and telling Allan that he would be back in a moment, Pedgift Junior sauntered down the street, and beckoned the waterman confidentially into the nearest public-house.
Pedgift Junior smiled sympathetically and began his explanation. It was a boarding house on Kingsdown Crescent, he wanted to clarify to start with. He had insisted on meeting the landlady, who was a very nice person, with all the traits of someone who had been an attractive young woman about fifty years ago; completely Pedgift’s type—if he had been around at the start of this century—perfectly in line with Pedgift’s taste. But perhaps Mr. Armadale would rather hear about Mrs. Mandeville? Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to say. There had been no arguments, and not a penny left unpaid: the tenant had moved out, and there were no circumstances to explain the situation. It was either Mrs. Mandeville’s habit to disappear, or there was something hidden that hadn’t been uncovered yet. Pedgift had the date she left, the time of day, and the way she left. That information might help track her down. She had departed in a cab that the servant had called from the nearest stand. The stand was now in view, and the waterman was the first person to ask about it—going to the waterman for information was clearly (if Mr. Armadale would pardon the pun) going straight to the source. In this light-hearted manner, and telling Allan he would be back shortly, Pedgift Junior strolled down the street and discreetly signaled the waterman to come into the closest pub.
In a little while the two re-appeared, the waterman taking Pedgift in succession to the first, third, fourth, and sixth of the cabmen whose vehicles were on the stand. The longest conference was held with the sixth man; and it ended in the sudden approach of the sixth cab to the part of the street where Allan was waiting.
In a little while, the two came back, with the waterman picking Pedgift after the first, third, fourth, and sixth cab drivers whose cabs were parked. The longest conversation was with the sixth driver, and it ended with the sixth cab suddenly heading to the spot where Allan was waiting.
“Get in, sir,” said Pedgift, opening the door; “I’ve found the man. He remembers the lady; and, though he has forgotten the name of the street, he believes he can find the place he drove her to when he once gets back into the neighborhood. I am charmed to inform you, Mr. Armadale, that we are in luck’s way so far. I asked the waterman to show me the regular men on the stand; and it turns out that one of the regular men drove Mrs. Mandeville. The waterman vouches for him; he’s quite an anomaly—a respectable cabman; drives his own horse, and has never been in any trouble. These are the sort of men, sir, who sustain one’s belief in human nature. I’ve had a look at our friend, and I agree with the waterman; I think we can depend on him.”
“Get in, sir,” said Pedgift, opening the door. “I’ve found the guy. He remembers the lady, and even though he can’t recall the name of the street, he thinks he can find the place he drove her to once he’s back in the neighborhood. I’m pleased to tell you, Mr. Armadale, that we’ve had some good luck so far. I asked the waterman to show me the regular guys at the stand, and it turns out that one of them drove Mrs. Mandeville. The waterman vouches for him; he’s quite rare—a respectable cab driver; drives his own horse, and has never been in any trouble. These are the kind of people, sir, who restore your faith in human nature. I’ve taken a look at our friend, and I agree with the waterman; I think we can count on him.”
The investigation required some exercise of patience at the outset. It was not till the cab had traversed the distance between Bayswater and Pimlico that the driver began to slacken his pace and look about him. After once or twice retracing its course, the vehicle entered a quiet by-street, ending in a dead wall, with a door in it; and stopped at the last house on the left-hand side, the house next to the wall.
The investigation needed some patience at the beginning. It wasn't until the cab had made its way from Bayswater to Pimlico that the driver started to slow down and look around. After going back a couple of times, the cab turned into a quiet side street that ended in a dead end with a door in the wall and stopped at the last house on the left, right next to the wall.
“Here it is, gentlemen,” said the man, opening the cab door.
“Here it is, guys,” said the man, opening the cab door.
Allan and Allan’s adviser both got out, and both looked at the house, with the same feeling of instinctive distrust.
Allan and his adviser got out, and both looked at the house, sharing the same instinctive sense of distrust.
Buildings have their physiognomy—especially buildings in great cities—and the face of this house was essentially furtive in its expression. The front windows were all shut, and the front blinds were all drawn down. It looked no larger than the other houses in the street, seen in front; but it ran back deceitfully and gained its greater accommodation by means of its greater depth. It affected to be a shop on the ground-floor; but it exhibited absolutely nothing in the space that intervened between the window and an inner row of red curtains, which hid the interior entirely from view. At one side was the shop door, having more red curtains behind the glazed part of it, and bearing a brass plate on the wooden part of it, inscribed with the name of “Oldershaw.” On the other side was the private door, with a bell marked Professional; and another brass plate, indicating a medical occupant on this side of the house, for the name on it was, “Doctor Downward.” If ever brick and mortar spoke yet, the brick and mortar here said plainly, “We have got our secrets inside, and we mean to keep them.”
Buildings have their own look—especially buildings in big cities—and the face of this house had a distinctly secretive vibe. The front windows were all closed, and the blinds were drawn down. It didn't appear any larger than the other houses on the street when viewed from the front, but it stretched back unexpectedly and gained more space due to its depth. It pretended to be a shop on the ground floor; however, it showcased absolutely nothing in the area between the window and a row of red curtains that completely blocked the view of the inside. On one side was the shop door, with more red curtains behind the glass part, featuring a brass plate on the wooden section labeled “Oldershaw.” On the other side was the private door, which had a bell marked Professional; it also had another brass plate indicating a medical occupant, since the name on it was “Doctor Downward.” If ever brick and mortar could speak, these walls clearly communicated, “We've got our secrets inside, and we're keeping them.”
“This can’t be the place,” said Allan; “there must be some mistake.”
“This can’t be the right place,” said Allan. “There has to be some mistake.”
“You know best, sir,” remarked Pedgift Junior, with his sardonic gravity. “You know Mrs. Mandeville’s habits.”
“You know best, sir,” said Pedgift Junior, with his sarcastic seriousness. “You know Mrs. Mandeville’s habits.”
“I!” exclaimed Allan. “You may be surprised to hear it; but Mrs. Mandeville is a total stranger to me.”
“I!” Allan exclaimed. “You might be surprised to hear this, but Mrs. Mandeville is a complete stranger to me.”
“I’m not in the least surprised to hear it, sir; the landlady at Kingsdown Crescent informed me that Mrs. Mandeville was an old woman. Suppose we inquire?” added the impenetrable Pedgift, looking at the red curtains in the shop window with a strong suspicion that Mrs. Mandeville’s granddaughter might possibly be behind them.
“I’m not at all surprised to hear that, sir; the landlady at Kingsdown Crescent told me that Mrs. Mandeville is an old woman. Shall we ask?” added the unreadable Pedgift, glancing at the red curtains in the shop window with a strong suspicion that Mrs. Mandeville’s granddaughter might be hiding behind them.
They tried the shop door first. It was locked. They rang. A lean and yellow young woman, with a tattered French novel in her hand, opened it.
They tried the shop door first. It was locked. They rang the bell. A slim, pale young woman, holding a worn French novel, opened the door.
“Good-morning, miss,” said Pedgift. “Is Mrs. Mandeville at home?”
“Good morning, miss,” said Pedgift. “Is Mrs. Mandeville home?”
The yellow young woman stared at him in astonishment. “No person of that name is known here,” she answered, sharply, in a foreign accent.
The young woman with yellow skin stared at him in shock. “No one by that name is known here,” she replied sharply, with a foreign accent.
“Perhaps they know her at the private door?” suggested Pedgift Junior.
“Maybe they know her at the private door?” suggested Pedgift Junior.
“Perhaps they do,” said the yellow young woman, and shut the door in his face.
“Maybe they do,” said the young woman in yellow, and closed the door in his face.
“Rather a quick-tempered young person that, sir,” said Pedgift. “I congratulate Mrs. Mandeville on not being acquainted with her.” He led the way, as he spoke, to Doctor Downward’s side of the premises, and rang the bell.
“Quite the quick-tempered young person, that one, sir,” said Pedgift. “I commend Mrs. Mandeville for not knowing her.” He walked ahead, as he spoke, to Doctor Downward’s part of the property and rang the bell.
The door was opened this time by a man in a shabby livery. He, too, stared when Mrs. Mandeville’s name was mentioned; and he, too, knew of no such person in the house.
The door was opened this time by a guy in a worn-out uniform. He also stared when Mrs. Mandeville’s name was mentioned, and he also didn’t know of anyone by that name in the house.
“Very odd,” said Pedgift, appealing to Allan.
“That's pretty strange,” said Pedgift, looking to Allan for confirmation.
“What is odd?” asked a softly stepping, softly speaking gentleman in black, suddenly appearing on the threshold of the parlor door.
“What’s odd?” asked a gently stepping, softly speaking man in black, who suddenly appeared at the parlor door.
Pedgift Junior politely explained the circumstances, and begged to know whether he had the pleasure of speaking to Doctor Downward.
Pedgift Junior politely explained the situation and asked if he was speaking with Doctor Downward.
The doctor bowed. If the expression may be pardoned, he was one of those carefully constructed physicians in whom the public—especially the female public—implicitly trust. He had the necessary bald head, the necessary double eyeglass, the necessary black clothes, and the necessary blandness of manner, all complete. His voice was soothing, his ways were deliberate, his smile was confidential. What particular branch of his profession Doctor Downward followed was not indicated on his door-plate; but he had utterly mistaken his vocation if he was not a ladies’ medical man.
The doctor bowed. If we can forgive the expression, he was one of those carefully crafted physicians that the public—especially women—implicitly trusts. He had the required bald head, the required double eyeglasses, the required black clothes, and the required calm demeanor, all in place. His voice was soothing, his movements were slow and deliberate, and his smile felt intimate. The specific field of medicine that Doctor Downward practiced wasn't mentioned on his doorplate; but he had completely misjudged his calling if he wasn't a doctor specializing in women's health.
“Are you quite sure there is no mistake about the name?” asked the doctor, with a strong underlying anxiety in his manner. “I have known very serious inconvenience to arise sometimes from mistakes about names. No? There is really no mistake? In that case, gentlemen, I can only repeat what my servant has already told you. Don’t apologize, pray. Good-morning.” The doctor withdrew as noiselessly as he had appeared; the man in the shabby livery silently opened the door; and Allan and his companion found themselves in the street again.
“Are you absolutely sure there’s no mistake with the name?” the doctor asked, clearly anxious. “I’ve seen serious issues come up from name mix-ups. No? There’s really no mistake? In that case, gentlemen, I can only repeat what my servant has already informed you. Please, don’t apologize. Good morning.” The doctor left as quietly as he had arrived; the man in the worn-out uniform silently opened the door, and Allan and his companion found themselves back on the street.
“Mr. Armadale,” said Pedgift, “I don’t know how you feel; I feel puzzled.”
“Mr. Armadale,” Pedgift said, “I’m not sure how you feel; I feel confused.”
“That’s awkward,” returned Allan. “I was just going to ask you what we ought to do next.”
“That’s awkward,” replied Allan. “I was just about to ask you what we should do next.”
“I don’t like the look of the place, the look of the shop-woman, or the look of the doctor,” pursued the other. “And yet I can’t say I think they are deceiving us; I can’t say I think they really know Mrs. Mandeville’s name.”
“I don’t like the vibe of this place, the vibe of the shop owner, or the vibe of the doctor,” the other continued. “And still, I can’t say I think they’re trying to deceive us; I can’t say I believe they actually know Mrs. Mandeville’s name.”
The impressions of Pedgift Junior seldom misled him; and they had not misled him in this case. The caution which had dictated Mrs. Oldershaw’s private removal from Bayswater was the caution which frequently overreaches itself. It had warned her to trust nobody at Pimlico with the secret of the name she had assumed as Miss Gwilt’s reference; but it had entirely failed to prepare her for the emergency that had really happened. In a word, Mrs. Oldershaw had provided for everything except for the one unimaginable contingency of an after-inquiry into the character of Miss Gwilt.
The impressions of Pedgift Junior rarely steered him wrong, and they didn't in this situation either. The caution that led Mrs. Oldershaw to secretly move from Bayswater was the same caution that often backfires. It had advised her to trust no one at Pimlico with the secret of the name she used as a reference for Miss Gwilt; however, it completely failed to prepare her for the situation that actually arose. In short, Mrs. Oldershaw had planned for everything except the one unpredictable scenario of someone looking into Miss Gwilt's background.
“We must do something,” said Allan; “it seems useless to stop here.”
“We need to do something,” said Allan; “it seems pointless to just stay here.”
Nobody had ever yet caught Pedgift Junior at the end of his resources; and Allan failed to catch him at the end of them now. “I quite agree with you, sir,” he said; “we must do something. We’ll cross-examine the cabman.”
Nobody had ever caught Pedgift Junior at the end of his resources; and Allan didn’t catch him out now either. “I completely agree with you, sir,” he said; “we need to take action. Let’s question the cab driver.”
The cabman proved to be immovable. Charged with mistaking the place, he pointed to the empty shop window. “I don’t know what you may have seen, gentlemen,” he remarked; “but there’s the only shop window I ever saw with nothing at all inside it. That fixed the place in my mind at the time, and I know it again when I see it.” Charged with mistaking the person or the day, or the house at which he had taken the person up, the cabman proved to be still unassailable. The servant who fetched him was marked as a girl well known on the stand. The day was marked as the unluckiest working-day he had had since the first of the year; and the lady was marked as having had her money ready at the right moment (which not one elderly lady in a hundred usually had), and having paid him his fare on demand without disputing it (which not one elderly lady in a hundred usually did). “Take my number, gentlemen,” concluded the cabman, “and pay me for my time; and what I’ve said to you, I’ll swear to anywhere.”
The cab driver stood his ground. When accused of getting the location wrong, he pointed to the empty shop window. “I don’t know what you guys might have seen,” he said, “but that’s the only shop window I’ve ever seen that had nothing inside it. That's what stuck in my mind at the time, and I recognize it when I see it.” When pressed about the person, the day, or the house he picked someone up from, the cab driver remained steadfast. The servant who called him was recognized as a girl well-known at the stand. The day was noted as the unluckiest weekday he had experienced since the beginning of the year; and the lady was noted for having her money ready at the right moment (which not even one in a hundred older ladies usually did), and for paying him his fare on demand without arguing (which not even one in a hundred older ladies usually did). “Take my number, gentlemen,” the cab driver finished, “and compensate me for my time; and I’ll stand by what I’ve told you anywhere.”
Pedgift made a note in his pocket-book of the man’s number. Having added to it the name of the street, and the names on the two brass plates, he quietly opened the cab door. “We are quite in the dark, thus far,” he said. “Suppose we grope our way back to the hotel?”
Pedgift made a note in his notebook of the man’s number. After adding the name of the street and the names on the two brass plates, he quietly opened the cab door. “We still don’t have any idea, up to this point,” he said. “What if we make our way back to the hotel?”
He spoke and looked more seriously than usual The mere fact of “Mrs. Mandeville’s” having changed her lodging without telling any one where she was going, and without leaving any address at which letters could be forwarded to her—which the jealous malignity of Mrs. Milroy had interpreted as being undeniably suspicious in itself—had produced no great impression on the more impartial judgment of Allan’s solicitor. People frequently left their lodgings in a private manner, with perfectly producible reasons for doing so. But the appearance of the place to which the cabman persisted in declaring that he had driven “Mrs. Mandeville” set the character and proceedings of that mysterious lady before Pedgift Junior in a new light. His personal interest in the inquiry suddenly strengthened, and he began to feel a curiosity to know the real nature of Allan’s business which he had not felt yet.
He spoke and looked more serious than usual. The fact that "Mrs. Mandeville" had changed her lodging without telling anyone where she was going, and without leaving any address for forwarding letters—which the jealous malice of Mrs. Milroy had interpreted as definitely suspicious in itself—didn’t have much impact on the more impartial judgment of Allan’s lawyer. People often left their lodgings privately, with perfectly valid reasons for doing so. But the way the cab driver insisted he had taken "Mrs. Mandeville" to a particular place revealed the character and actions of that mysterious woman to Pedgift Junior in a new way. His personal interest in the investigation suddenly grew stronger, and he began to feel a curiosity about the true nature of Allan’s business that he hadn’t felt before.
“Our next move, Mr. Armadale, is not a very easy move to see,” he said, as they drove back to the hotel. “Do you think you could put me in possession of any further particulars?”
“Our next move, Mr. Armadale, isn't easy to figure out,” he said as they drove back to the hotel. “Do you think you could share any more details with me?”
Allan hesitated; and Pedgift Junior saw that he had advanced a little too far. “I mustn’t force it,” he thought; “I must give it time, and let it come of its own accord.” “In the absence of any other information, sir,” he resumed, “what do you say to my making some inquiry about that queer shop, and about those two names on the door-plate? My business in London, when I leave you, is of a professional nature; and I am going into the right quarter for getting information, if it is to be got.”
Allan hesitated, and Pedgift Junior realized he had pushed a little too far. “I shouldn't force this,” he thought; “I need to give it time and let things unfold naturally.” “Since I don’t have any other information, sir,” he continued, “how about I look into that strange shop and the two names on the doorplate? My work in London after I leave you is professional, and I'm heading to the right place to gather information, if it can be found.”
“There can’t be any harm, I suppose, in making inquiries,” replied Allan.
“There shouldn’t be any harm in asking around,” replied Allan.
He, too, spoke more seriously than usual; he, too, was beginning to feel an all-mastering curiosity to know more. Some vague connection, not to be distinctly realized or traced out, began to establish itself in his mind between the difficulty of approaching Miss Gwilt’s family circumstances and the difficulty of approaching Miss Gwilt’s reference. “I’ll get down and walk, and leave you to go on to your business,” he said. “I want to consider a little about this, and a walk and a cigar will help me.”
He also spoke more seriously than usual; he was starting to feel an overwhelming curiosity to know more. Some unclear link, difficult to pinpoint, began to form in his mind between the challenge of dealing with Miss Gwilt’s family situation and the challenge of dealing with Miss Gwilt’s reference. “I’ll get out and walk while you continue on with your business,” he said. “I need some time to think about this, and a walk and a cigar will help.”
“My business will be done, sir, between one and two,” said Pedgift, when the cab had been stopped, and Allan had got out. “Shall we meet again at two o’clock, at the hotel?”
“My business will be done, sir, between one and two,” said Pedgift, when the cab had been stopped, and Allan had gotten out. “Shall we meet again at two o’clock, at the hotel?”
Allan nodded, and the cab drove off.
Allan nodded, and the taxi drove away.
IV. ALLAN AT BAY.
Two o’clock came; and Pedgift Junior, punctual to his time, came with it. His vivacity of the morning had all sparkled out; he greeted Allan with his customary politeness, but without his customary smile; and, when the headwaiter came in for orders, his dismissal was instantly pronounced in words never yet heard to issue from the lips of Pedgift in that hotel: “Nothing at present.”
Two o’clock arrived, and Pedgift Junior showed up right on time. His morning energy had completely faded; he greeted Allan with his usual politeness but without his typical smile. When the headwaiter came in to take orders, Pedgift said something that had never been heard coming from him in that hotel: “Nothing for now.”
“You seem to be in low spirits,” said Allan. “Can’t we get our information? Can nobody tell you anything about the house in Pimlico?”
“You look a bit down,” said Allan. “Can’t we get any info? Is there really no one who can tell you anything about the house in Pimlico?”
“Three different people have told me about it, Mr. Armadale, and they have all three said the same thing.”
“Three different people have told me about it, Mr. Armadale, and they all said the same thing.”
Allan eagerly drew his chair nearer to the place occupied by his traveling companion. His reflections in the interval since they had last seen each other had not tended to compose him. That strange connection, so easy to feel, so hard to trace, between the difficulty of approaching Miss Gwilt’s family circumstances and the difficulty of approaching Miss Gwilt’s reference, which had already established itself in his thoughts, had by this time stealthily taken a firmer and firmer hold on his mind. Doubts troubled him which he could neither understand nor express. Curiosity filled him, which he half longed and half dreaded to satisfy.
Allan eagerly moved his chair closer to where his traveling companion was sitting. His thoughts since they last met hadn't put him at ease. That strange link, so easy to feel yet so hard to pinpoint, between the challenge of getting close to Miss Gwilt’s family situation and the difficulty of approaching Miss Gwilt’s reference had quietly taken a stronger grip on his mind. He was troubled by doubts he couldn't understand or articulate. He felt a curiosity that he both wanted and feared to satisfy.
“I am afraid I must trouble you with a question or two, sir, before I can come to the point,” said Pedgift Junior. “I don’t want to force myself into your confidence. I only want to see my way, in what looks to me like a very awkward business. Do you mind telling me whether others besides yourself are interested in this inquiry of ours?”
“I’m sorry to bother you with a question or two, sir, before I get to the point,” said Pedgift Junior. “I don’t want to push my way into your trust. I just want to understand things better in what seems to me like a pretty tricky situation. Do you mind letting me know if anyone else besides you is involved in our inquiry?”
“Other people are interested in it,” replied Allan. “There’s no objection to telling you that.”
“Other people are interested in it,” Allan said. “There’s no problem with me telling you that.”
“Is there any other person who is the object of the inquiry besides Mrs. Mandeville, herself?” pursued Pedgift, winding his way a little deeper into the secret.
“Is there anyone else who is the focus of the investigation besides Mrs. Mandeville?” Pedgift asked, delving a bit further into the mystery.
“Yes; there is another person,” said Allan, answering rather unwillingly.
“Yes; there’s another person,” Allan said, responding somewhat hesitantly.
“Is the person a young woman, Mr. Armadale?”
“Is that a young woman, Mr. Armadale?”
Allan started. “How do you come to guess that?” he began, then checked himself, when it was too late. “Don’t ask me any more questions,” he resumed. “I’m a bad hand at defending myself against a sharp fellow like you; and I’m bound in honor toward other people to keep the particulars of this business to myself.”
Allan was surprised. “How did you figure that out?” he started, then caught himself, realizing it was too late. “Stop asking me questions,” he continued. “I’m not good at defending myself against someone as clever as you; and I have a duty to others to keep the details of this situation to myself.”
Pedgift Junior had apparently heard enough for his purpose. He drew his chair, in his turn, nearer to Allan. He was evidently anxious and embarrassed; but his professional manner began to show itself again from sheer force of habit.
Pedgift Junior had apparently heard enough for his purpose. He pulled his chair closer to Allan. He seemed anxious and uncomfortable, but his professional demeanor started to come back due to sheer habit.
“I’ve done with my questions, sir,” he said; “and I have something to say now on my side. In my father’s absence, perhaps you may be kindly disposed to consider me as your legal adviser. If you will take my advice, you will not stir another step in this inquiry.”
“I’m done with my questions, sir,” he said; “and I have something to say now from my side. In my father’s absence, maybe you would be willing to consider me as your legal adviser. If you take my advice, you won’t take another step in this inquiry.”
“What do you mean?” interposed Allan.
“What do you mean?” Allan interrupted.
“It is just possible, Mr. Armadale, that the cabman, positive as he is, may have been mistaken. I strongly recommend you to take it for granted that he is mistaken, and to drop it there.”
“It’s quite possible, Mr. Armadale, that the cab driver, as sure as he is, might have been wrong. I strongly suggest you assume that he is wrong and leave it at that.”
The caution was kindly intended; but it came too late. Allan did what ninety-nine men out of a hundred in his position would have done—he declined to take his lawyer’s advice.
The warning was well-meaning, but it was too late. Allan did what almost everyone in his situation would have done—he chose not to follow his lawyer's advice.
“Very well, sir,” said Pedgift Junior; “if you will have it, you must have it.”
“Alright, sir,” said Pedgift Junior, “if that’s what you want, then so be it.”
He leaned forward close to Allan’s ear, and whispered what he had heard of the house in Pimlico, and of the people who occupied it.
He leaned in close to Allan’s ear and whispered what he had heard about the house in Pimlico and the people who lived there.
“Don’t blame me, Mr. Armadale,” he added, when the irrevocable words had been spoken. “I tried to spare you.”
“Don’t blame me, Mr. Armadale,” he added, when the final words had been said. “I tried to protect you.”
Allan suffered the shock, as all great shocks are suffered, in silence. His first impulse would have driven him headlong for refuge to that very view of the cabman’s assertion which had just been recommended to him, but for one damning circumstance which placed itself inexorably in his way. Miss Gwilt’s marked reluctance to approach the story of her past life rose irrepressibly on his memory, in indirect but horrible confirmation of the evidence which connected Miss Gwilt’s reference with the house in Pimlico. One conclusion, and one only—the conclusion which any man must have drawn, hearing what he had just heard, and knowing no more than he knew—forced itself into his mind. A miserable, fallen woman, who had abandoned herself in her extremity to the help of wretches skilled in criminal concealment, who had stolen her way back to decent society and a reputable employment by means of a false character, and whose position now imposed on her the dreadful necessity of perpetual secrecy and perpetual deceit in relation to her past life—such was the aspect in which the beautiful governess at Thorpe Ambrose now stood revealed to Allan’s eyes!
Allan felt the shock, as all big shocks are felt, in silence. His first instinct was to run for safety to the very interpretation of the cabman’s claim that had just been suggested to him, but there was one undeniable fact that stood firmly in his way. Miss Gwilt’s clear hesitation to talk about her past kept coming back to him, indirectly but horrifyingly confirming the clues that linked Miss Gwilt’s mention to the house in Pimlico. One conclusion—only one conclusion—which any man would have drawn after hearing what he just heard, while knowing no more than he did, forced its way into his mind. A miserable, fallen woman, who had, in her desperation, sought help from those skilled in criminal concealment, who had managed to return to decent society and a respectable job with a fake identity, and whose current situation now required her to maintain a dreadful cycle of secrecy and deceit about her past—this was how the beautiful governess at Thorpe Ambrose was now revealed to Allan!
Falsely revealed, or truly revealed? Had she stolen her way back to decent society and a reputable employment by means of a false character? She had. Did her position impose on her the dreadful necessity of perpetual secrecy and perpetual deceit in relation to her past life? It did. Was she some such pitiable victim to the treachery of a man unknown as Allan had supposed? She was no such pitiable victim. The conclusion which Allan had drawn—the conclusion literally forced into his mind by the facts before him—was, nevertheless, the conclusion of all others that was furthest even from touching on the truth. The true story of Miss Gwilt’s connection with the house in Pimlico and the people who inhabited it—a house rightly described as filled with wicked secrets, and people rightly represented as perpetually in danger of feeling the grasp of the law—was a story which coming events were yet to disclose: a story infinitely less revolting, and yet infinitely more terrible, than Allan or Allan’s companion had either of them supposed.
Falsely revealed, or truly revealed? Had she managed to return to decent society and find a respectable job by adopting a false identity? She had. Did her situation force her into the awful necessity of constant secrecy and deceit about her past? It did. Was she some kind of pitiable victim of a treacherous man as Allan had thought? She was no such pitiable victim. The conclusion Allan reached—the conclusion that was practically forced on him by the evidence he had—was, however, the conclusion that was farthest from the truth. The real story of Miss Gwilt’s connection to the house in Pimlico and the people living there— a place accurately described as filled with dark secrets, and people justifiably seen as always at risk of facing the law—was a story that future events were yet to reveal: a story far less shocking, yet far more terrifying, than either Allan or his companion had imagined.
“I tried to spare you, Mr. Armadale,” repeated Pedgift. “I was anxious, if I could possibly avoid it, not to distress you.”
“I tried to save you, Mr. Armadale,” Pedgift repeated. “I was eager, if I could avoid it, not to upset you.”
Allan looked up, and made an effort to control himself. “You have distressed me dreadfully,” he said. “You have quite crushed me down. But it is not your fault. I ought to feel you have done me a service; and what I ought to do I will do, when I am my own man again. There is one thing,” Allan added, after a moment’s painful consideration, “which ought to be understood between us at once. The advice you offered me just now was very kindly meant, and it was the best advice that could be given. I will take it gratefully. We will never talk of this again, if you please; and I beg and entreat you will never speak about it to any other person. Will you promise me that?”
Allan looked up and tried to compose himself. “You’ve really upset me,” he said. “You’ve completely crushed me. But it’s not your fault. I should appreciate that you’ve done me a favor; and I will acknowledge that when I’m feeling more like myself again. There’s one thing,” Allan added after a moment of painful thought, “that needs to be clear between us right away. The advice you just gave me was very kind and the best I could have received. I’ll accept it gratefully. Let’s not ever speak of this again, if that’s okay with you; and I kindly ask you to never mention it to anyone else. Will you promise me that?”
Pedgift gave the promise with very evident sincerity, but without his professional confidence of manner. The distress in Allan’s face seemed to daunt him. After a moment of very uncharacteristic hesitation, he considerately quitted the room.
Pedgift made the promise with obvious sincerity, but without his usual professional confidence. The worry on Allan’s face seemed to intimidate him. After a moment of unusual hesitation, he thoughtfully left the room.
Left by himself, Allan rang for writing materials, and took out of his pocket-book the fatal letter of introduction to “Mrs. Mandeville” which he had received from the major’s wife.
Left alone, Allan called for some writing materials and took out of his wallet the crucial introduction letter to “Mrs. Mandeville” that he had received from the major’s wife.
A man accustomed to consider consequences and to prepare himself for action by previous thought would, in Allan’s present circumstances, have felt some difficulty as to the course which it might now be least embarrassing and least dangerous to pursue. Accustomed to let his impulses direct him on all other occasions, Allan acted on impulse in the serious emergency that now confronted him. Though his attachment to Miss Gwilt was nothing like the deeply rooted feeling which he had himself honestly believed it to be, she had taken no common place in his admiration, and she filled him with no common grief when he thought of her now. His one dominant desire, at that critical moment in his life, was a man’s merciful desire to protect from exposure and ruin the unhappy woman who had lost her place in his estimation, without losing her claim to the forbearance that could spare, and to the compassion that could shield her. “I can’t go back to Thorpe Ambrose; I can’t trust myself to speak to her, or to see her again. But I can keep her miserable secret; and I will!” With that thought in his heart, Allan set himself to perform the first and foremost duty which now claimed him—the duty of communicating with Mrs. Milroy. If he had possessed a higher mental capacity and a clearer mental view, he might have found the letter no easy one to write. As it was, he calculated no consequences, and felt no difficulty. His instinct warned him to withdraw at once from the position in which he now stood toward the major’s wife, and he wrote what his instinct counseled him to write under those circumstances, as rapidly as the pen could travel over the paper:
A man used to thinking through his actions and preparing for the consequences would have found it challenging to decide the least embarrassing and least dangerous path to take in Allan’s current situation. Normally guided by his impulses, Allan acted impulsively in the serious situation he faced now. Although his feelings for Miss Gwilt weren’t as deep as he had previously thought, she held a significant place in his admiration, and he felt genuine sorrow at the thought of her now. His strongest desire, at this critical moment in his life, was the compassionate wish of a man to protect the unfortunate woman who had fallen from his favor, while still ensuring she retained the consideration that could offer her relief and the compassion that could protect her. "I can’t go back to Thorpe Ambrose; I can’t trust myself to speak with her or see her again. But I can keep her secret, and I will!" With that thought in mind, Allan committed to his most pressing responsibility at that moment—the duty to contact Mrs. Milroy. If he had a sharper intellect and clearer perspective, he might have found the letter difficult to write. As it was, he didn’t think of the consequences and faced no struggle. His instinct urged him to quickly distance himself from his current position with the major’s wife, and he wrote what his instincts advised as fast as he could write:
“Dunn’s Hotel, Covent Garden, Tuesday.
"Dunn's Hotel, Covent Garden, Tues."
“DEAR MADAM—Pray excuse my not returning to Thorpe Ambrose to-day, as I said I would. Unforeseen circumstances oblige me to stop in London. I am sorry to say I have not succeeded in seeing Mrs. Mandeville, for which reason I cannot perform your errand; and I beg, therefore, with many apologies, to return the letter of introduction. I hope you will allow me to conclude by saying that I am very much obliged to you for your kindness, and that I will not venture to trespass on it any further.
“DEAR MADAM—Please excuse me for not returning to Thorpe Ambrose today, as I mentioned I would. Unexpected circumstances require me to stay in London. I regret to inform you that I have not been able to see Mrs. Mandeville, and for that reason, I can't carry out your request. Therefore, I must apologize and return the letter of introduction. I hope you will permit me to express my gratitude for your kindness, and I won't impose on it any longer.”
“I remain, dear madam, yours truly,
“I remain, dear madam, yours truly,
“ALLAN ARMADALE.”
“ALLAN ARMADALE.”
In those artless words, still entirely unsuspicious of the character of the woman he had to deal with, Allan put the weapon she wanted into Mrs. Milroy’s hands.
In those simple words, completely unaware of the woman's true nature he was dealing with, Allan handed the weapon she desired to Mrs. Milroy.
The letter and its inclosure once sealed up and addressed, he was free to think of himself and his future. As he sat idly drawing lines with his pen on the blotting-paper, the tears came into his eyes for the first time—tears in which the woman who had deceived him had no share. His heart had gone back to his dead mother. “If she had been alive,” he thought, “I might have trusted her, and she would have comforted me.” It was useless to dwell on it; he dashed away the tears, and turned his thoughts, with the heart-sick resignation that we all know, to living and present things.
The letter and its enclosure sealed and addressed, he was free to think about himself and his future. As he sat there idly drawing lines with his pen on the blotting paper, tears filled his eyes for the first time—tears that had nothing to do with the woman who had deceived him. His heart turned back to his deceased mother. “If she were alive,” he thought, “I might have trusted her, and she would have comforted me.” It was pointless to linger on it; he wiped away the tears and shifted his thoughts, with the familiar heartbroken resignation we all experience, to the present and the things around him.
He wrote a line to Mr. Bashwood, briefly informing the deputy steward that his absence from Thorpe Ambrose was likely to be prolonged for some little time, and that any further instructions which might be necessary, under those circumstances, would reach him through Mr. Pedgift the elder. This done, and the letters sent to the post, his thoughts were forced back once more on himself. Again the blank future waited before him to be filled up; and again his heart shrank from it to the refuge of the past.
He wrote a note to Mr. Bashwood, letting the deputy steward know that he would probably be away from Thorpe Ambrose for an extended period. He mentioned that any additional instructions needed in this situation would be sent to him through Mr. Pedgift the elder. After doing this and sending the letters to the post, he found his thoughts turning back to himself once again. The uncertain future stretched out before him, ready to be filled; and once more, he felt his heart retreating to the comfort of the past.
This time other images than the image of his mother filled his mind. The one all-absorbing interest of his earlier days stirred living and eager in him again. He thought of the sea; he thought of his yacht lying idle in the fishing harbor at his west-country home. The old longing got possession of him to hear the wash of the waves; to see the filling of the sails; to feel the vessel that his own hands had helped to build bounding under him once more. He rose in his impetuous way to call for the time-table, and to start for Somersetshire by the first train, when the dread of the questions which Mr. Brock might ask, the suspicion of the change which Mr. Brock might see in him, drew him back to his chair. “I’ll write,” he thought, “to have the yacht rigged and refitted, and I’ll wait to go to Somersetshire myself till Midwinter can go with me.” He sighed as his memory reverted to his absent friend. Never had he felt the void made in his life by Midwinter’s departure so painfully as he felt it now, in the dreariest of all social solitudes—the solitude of a stranger in London, left by himself at a hotel.
This time, other images apart from his mother filled his mind. The one all-consuming interest from his earlier days came alive in him again. He thought about the sea; he thought of his yacht sitting idle in the fishing harbor at his home in the west country. The old longing took hold of him to hear the sound of the waves, to see the sails filling, to feel the vessel he had helped build bounding beneath him once more. He impulsively rose to grab the timetable and catch the first train to Somersetshire, but the fear of the questions Mr. Brock might ask and the worry about the changes Mr. Brock might notice in him pulled him back to his chair. “I’ll write,” he thought, “to have the yacht rigged and refitted, and I’ll wait to go to Somersetshire until Midwinter can come with me.” He sighed as his memory turned to his missing friend. He had never felt the emptiness caused by Midwinter’s absence as painfully as he felt it now, in the loneliest type of social solitude—the solitude of a stranger in London, alone in a hotel.
Before long, Pedgift Junior looked in, with an apology for his intrusion. Allan felt too lonely and too friendless not to welcome his companion’s re-appearance gratefully. “I’m not going back to Thorpe Ambrose,” he said; “I’m going to stay a little while in London. I hope you will be able to stay with me?” To do him justice, Pedgift was touched by the solitary position in which the owner of the great Thorpe Ambrose estate now appeared before him. He had never, in his relations with Allan, so entirely forgotten his business interests as he forgot them now.
Before long, Pedgift Junior stopped by, apologizing for barging in. Allan felt too lonely and too friendless not to warmly welcome his friend's return. “I’m not going back to Thorpe Ambrose,” he said; “I’m going to stay in London for a bit. I hope you can stay with me?” To give him credit, Pedgift was moved by how isolated the owner of the vast Thorpe Ambrose estate seemed now. He had never in his dealings with Allan completely set aside his business interests like he did at that moment.
“You are quite right, sir, to stop here; London’s the place to divert your mind,” said Pedgift, cheerfully. “All business is more or less elastic in its nature, Mr. Armadale; I’ll spin my business out, and keep you company with the greatest pleasure. We are both of us on the right side of thirty, sir; let’s enjoy ourselves. What do you say to dining early, and going to the play, and trying the Great Exhibition in Hyde Park to-morrow morning, after breakfast? If we only live like fighting-cocks, and go in perpetually for public amusements, we shall arrive in no time at the mens sana in corpore sano of the ancients. Don’t be alarmed at the quotation, sir. I dabble a little in Latin after business hours, and enlarge my sympathies by occasional perusal of the Pagan writers, assisted by a crib. William, dinner at five; and, as it’s particularly important to-day, I’ll see the cook myself.”
“You’re absolutely right to stop here, sir; London’s the best place to take your mind off things,” said Pedgift, cheerfully. “All business is pretty flexible, Mr. Armadale; I’ll stretch out my work and happily keep you company. We’re both under thirty, sir; let’s have some fun. How about we have an early dinner, go to a play, and check out the Great Exhibition in Hyde Park tomorrow morning after breakfast? If we just live like champions and constantly indulge in public entertainment, we’ll soon reach the ancient ideal of a healthy mind in a healthy body. Don’t worry about the quote, sir. I dabble a bit in Latin after hours, and I expand my horizons by occasionally reading Pagan writers, with some help from a translation. William, dinner at five; and since it’s especially important today, I’ll personally check on the cook.”
The evening passed; the next day passed; Thursday morning came, and brought with it a letter for Allan. The direction was in Mrs. Milroy’s handwriting; and the form of address adopted in the letter warned Allan, the moment he opened it, that something had gone wrong.
The evening went by; the next day went by; Thursday morning arrived, bringing a letter for Allan. The address was in Mrs. Milroy’s handwriting, and how the letter was written made Allan realize, as soon as he opened it, that something was off.
[“Private.”]
“Private.”
“The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Wednesday.
“The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Wed.
“SIR—I have just received your mysterious letter. It has more than surprised, it has really alarmed me. After having made the friendliest advances to you on my side, I find myself suddenly shut out from your confidence in the most unintelligible, and, I must add, the most discourteous manner. It is quite impossible that I can allow the matter to rest where you have left it. The only conclusion I can draw from your letter is that my confidence must have been abused in some way, and that you know a great deal more than you are willing to tell me. Speaking in the interest of my daughter’s welfare, I request that you will inform me what the circumstances are which have prevented your seeing Mrs. Mandeville, and which have led to the withdrawal of the assistance that you unconditionally promised me in your letter of Monday last.
“SIR—I just received your mysterious letter. It has surprised me more than I can say; it has genuinely alarmed me. After making friendly overtures toward you, I find myself suddenly shut out from your trust in the most baffling, and I must say, the rudest way. I cannot simply leave things as they are. The only conclusion I can draw from your letter is that my trust must have been betrayed in some way, and that you know a lot more than you're willing to share. Speaking for my daughter’s well-being, I ask that you inform me of the circumstances that have prevented you from seeing Mrs. Mandeville and that have led to the withdrawal of the support you unconditionally promised me in your letter from last Monday.”
“In my state of health, I cannot involve myself in a lengthened correspondence. I must endeavor to anticipate any objections you may make, and I must say all that I have to say in my present letter. In the event (which I am most unwilling to consider possible) of your declining to accede to the request that I have just addressed to you, I beg to say that I shall consider it my duty to my daughter to have this very unpleasant matter cleared up. If I don’t hear from you to my full satisfaction by return of post, I shall be obliged to tell my husband that circumstances have happened which justify us in immediately testing the respectability of Miss Gwilt’s reference. And when he asks me for my authority, I will refer him to you.
“In my current health condition, I can’t engage in a lengthy correspondence. I need to address any objections you might have and say everything I need to in this letter. In the unfortunate event (which I really don’t want to think is possible) that you decide not to agree to my request, I must tell you that I feel it’s my responsibility to my daughter to resolve this very uncomfortable situation. If I don’t hear from you to my complete satisfaction by the next mail, I will have to inform my husband that circumstances have arisen that justify us in immediately checking the respectability of Miss Gwilt’s reference. When he asks for my reasoning, I will refer him to you."
“Your obedient servant, ANNE MILROY.”
"Your loyal servant, ANNE MILROY."
In those terms the major’s wife threw off the mask, and left her victim to survey at his leisure the trap in which she had caught him. Allan’s belief in Mrs. Milroy’s good faith had been so implicitly sincere that her letter simply bewildered him. He saw vaguely that he had been deceived in some way, and that Mrs. Milroy’s neighborly interest in him was not what it had looked on the surface; and he saw no more. The threat of appealing to the major—on which, with a woman’s ignorance of the natures of men, Mrs. Milroy had relied for producing its effect—was the only part of the letter to which Allan reverted with any satisfaction: it relieved instead of alarming him. “If there is to be a quarrel,” he thought, “it will be a comfort, at any rate, to have it out with a man.”
In those terms, the major’s wife revealed her true self and left her victim to examine at his own pace the trap she had set for him. Allan’s belief in Mrs. Milroy’s sincerity was so strong that her letter completely confused him. He realized, in a vague way, that he had been misled somehow and that Mrs. Milroy’s friendly interest in him wasn’t as it appeared; but he didn’t see any further than that. The mention of going to the major—something Mrs. Milroy had relied on, showing her lack of understanding about men—was the only part of the letter that Allan thought about with any satisfaction: it comforted him rather than startled him. “If there is going to be a conflict,” he thought, “it will at least be a relief to face it head-on with a man.”
Firm in his resolution to shield the unhappy woman whose secret he wrongly believed himself to have surprised, Allan sat down to write his apologies to the major’s wife. After setting up three polite declarations, in close marching order, he retired from the field. “He was extremely sorry to have offended Mrs. Milroy. He was innocent of all intention to offend Mrs. Milroy. And he begged to remain Mrs. Milroy’s truly.” Never had Allan’s habitual brevity as a letter-writer done him better service than it did him now. With a little more skillfulness in the use of his pen, he might have given his enemy even a stronger hold on him than the hold she had got already.
Determined to protect the unhappy woman whose secret he mistakenly thought he had uncovered, Allan sat down to write his apologies to the major’s wife. After crafting three polite statements, neatly lined up, he stepped away. “He was very sorry for offending Mrs. Milroy. He had no intention of offending Mrs. Milroy. And he hoped to remain Mrs. Milroy’s sincerely.” Never had Allan’s usual brevity as a letter-writer served him better than it did now. With a bit more finesse in his writing, he might have given his adversary an even stronger grip on him than she already had.
The interval day passed, and with the next morning’s post Mrs. Milroy’s threat came realized in the shape of a letter from her husband. The major wrote less formally than his wife had written, but his questions were mercilessly to the point:
The day went by, and with the next morning's mail, Mrs. Milroy's threat became real in the form of a letter from her husband. The major wrote in a less formal style than his wife, but his questions were brutally straightforward:
[“Private.”]
“Private.”
“The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Friday, July 11, 1851.
“The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Friday, July 11, 1851.
“DEAR SIR—When you did me the favor of calling here a few days since, you asked a question relating to my governess, Miss Gwilt, which I thought rather a strange one at the time, and which caused, as you may remember, a momentary embarrassment between us.
“DEAR SIR—When you kindly visited me a few days ago, you asked a rather odd question about my governess, Miss Gwilt, which caught me off guard at the time and led to a brief moment of awkwardness between us.
“This morning the subject of Miss Gwilt has been brought to my notice again in a manner which has caused me the utmost astonishment. In plain words, Mrs. Milroy has informed me that Miss Gwilt has exposed herself to the suspicion of having deceived us by a false reference. On my expressing the surprise which such an extraordinary statement caused me, and requesting that it might be instantly substantiated, I was still further astonished by being told to apply for all particulars to no less a person than Mr. Armadale. I have vainly requested some further explanation from Mrs. Milroy; she persists in maintaining silence, and in referring me to yourself.
“This morning, I was once again made aware of Miss Gwilt in a way that has left me completely shocked. To put it simply, Mrs. Milroy has told me that Miss Gwilt has aroused suspicion by possibly providing a false reference. When I expressed my disbelief at such an unusual claim and asked for immediate proof, I was even more astonished to be told to get all the details from none other than Mr. Armadale. I’ve tried to get more clarification from Mrs. Milroy, but she continues to be tight-lipped and directs me to you.”
“Under these extraordinary circumstances, I am compelled, in justice to all parties, to ask you certain questions which I will endeavor to put as plainly as possible, and which I am quite ready to believe (from my previous experience of you) that you will answer frankly on your side.
“Given these unusual circumstances, I feel it’s necessary, for the sake of fairness to everyone involved, to ask you a few questions that I will try to express as clearly as I can. Based on my past experiences with you, I genuinely believe that you will respond honestly.”
“I beg to inquire, in the first place, whether you admit or deny Mrs. Milroy’s assertion that you have made yourself acquainted with particulars relating either to Miss Gwilt or to Miss Gwilt’s reference, of which I am entirely ignorant? In the second place, if you admit the truth of Mrs. Milroy’s statement, I request to know how you became acquainted with those particulars? Thirdly, and lastly, I beg to ask you what the particulars are?
“I’d like to ask, first of all, whether you agree or disagree with Mrs. Milroy’s claim that you have learned details about either Miss Gwilt or something related to Miss Gwilt that I don’t know anything about? Secondly, if you do agree with Mrs. Milroy’s statement, I’d like to know how you found out those details? Lastly, I’d like to ask what those details are?”
“If any special justification for putting these questions be needed—which, purely as a matter of courtesy toward yourself, I am willing to admit—I beg to remind you that the most precious charge in my house, the charge of my daughter, is confided to Miss Gwilt; and that Mrs. Milroy’s statement places you, to all appearance, in the position of being competent to tell me whether that charge is properly bestowed or not.
“If you need any special reason for asking these questions—which, just out of courtesy to you, I’m willing to acknowledge—I want to remind you that the most valuable responsibility in my home, my daughter, is entrusted to Miss Gwilt; and that Mrs. Milroy’s statement makes it seem like you are in a position to tell me if that responsibility is being handled properly or not.”
“I have only to add that, as nothing has thus far occurred to justify me in entertaining the slightest suspicion either of my governess or her reference, I shall wait before I make any appeal to Miss Gwilt until I have received your answer—which I shall expect by return of post. Believe me, dear sir, faithfully yours,
“I just want to add that, since nothing has happened so far to make me doubt my governess or her reference, I will hold off on reaching out to Miss Gwilt until I get your response—which I hope will come back by return mail. Sincerely yours,
“DAVID MILROY.”
“David Milroy.”
This transparently straightforward letter at once dissipated the confusion which had thus far existed in Allan’s mind. He saw the snare in which he had been caught (though he was still necessarily at a loss to understand why it had been set for him) as he had not seen it yet. Mrs. Milroy had clearly placed him between two alternatives—the alternative of putting himself in the wrong, by declining to answer her husband’s questions; or the alternative of meanly sheltering his responsibility behind the responsibility of a woman, by acknowledging to the major’s own face that the major’s wife had deceived him.
This clearly straightforward letter immediately cleared up the confusion that had been in Allan’s mind. He recognized the trap he had fallen into (even though he still didn’t fully understand why it had been set for him) as he had not seen it before. Mrs. Milroy had unmistakably put him in a position where he had two choices—either he could be in the wrong by refusing to answer her husband's questions, or he could cowardly hide his own responsibility behind that of a woman by admitting to the major himself that his wife had misled him.
In this difficulty Allan acted as usual, without hesitation. His pledge to Mrs. Milroy to consider their correspondence private still bound him, disgracefully as she had abused it. And his resolution was as immovable as ever to let no earthly consideration tempt him into betraying Miss Gwilt. “I may have behaved like a fool,” he thought, “but I won’t break my word; and I won’t be the means of turning that miserable woman adrift in the world again.”
In this tough situation, Allan acted as he always did, without a second thought. His promise to Mrs. Milroy to keep their correspondence confidential still held him, even though she had misused it shamefully. And his determination was as strong as ever to not let anything persuade him to betray Miss Gwilt. “I might have acted foolishly,” he thought, “but I won’t go back on my word; and I won’t be the reason that unhappy woman is left to fend for herself in the world again.”
He wrote to the major as artlessly and briefly as he had written to the major’s wife. He declared his unwillingness to cause a friend and neighbor any disappointment, if he could possibly help it. On this occasion he had no other choice. The questions the major asked him were questions which he could not consent to answer. He was not very clever at explaining himself, and he hoped he might be excused for putting it in that way, and saying no more.
He wrote to the major as simply and briefly as he had written to the major’s wife. He expressed his reluctance to disappoint a friend and neighbor, if he could avoid it. This time, he had no choice. The questions the major asked were ones he couldn’t agree to answer. He wasn’t very good at explaining himself, and he hoped he could be forgiven for putting it like that and leaving it at that.
Monday’s post brought with it Major Milroy’s rejoinder, and closed the correspondence.
Monday’s post included Major Milroy’s response, which ended the correspondence.
“The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Sunday.
"The Cottage, Thorpe Ambrose, Sunday."
“SIR—Your refusal to answer my questions, unaccompanied as it is by even the shadow of an excuse for such a proceeding, can be interpreted but in one way. Besides being an implied acknowledgment of the correctness of Mrs. Milroy’s statement, it is also an implied reflection on my governess’s character. As an act of justice toward a lady who lives under the protection of my roof, and who has given me no reason whatever to distrust her, I shall now show our correspondence to Miss Gwilt; and I shall repeat to her the conversation which I had with Mrs. Milroy on the subject, in Mrs. Milroy’s presence.
“SIR—Your refusal to answer my questions, without even a hint of an explanation for this action, can only be interpreted in one way. Not only does it suggest that you acknowledge the accuracy of Mrs. Milroy’s statement, but it also reflects poorly on my governess’s character. As a matter of fairness to a lady who is under my roof and has given me no reason to doubt her, I will now show our correspondence to Miss Gwilt; and I will recount to her the conversation I had with Mrs. Milroy about this, in Mrs. Milroy’s presence.”
“One word more respecting the future relations between us, and I have done. My ideas on certain subjects are, I dare say, the ideas of an old-fashioned man. In my time, we had a code of honor by which we regulated our actions. According to that code, if a man made private inquiries into a lady’s affairs, without being either her husband, her father, or her brother, he subjected himself to the responsibility of justifying his conduct in the estimation of others; and, if he evaded that responsibility, he abdicated the position of a gentleman. It is quite possible that this antiquated way of thinking exists no longer; but it is too late for me, at my time of life, to adopt more modern views. I am scrupulously anxious, seeing that we live in a country and a time in which the only court of honor is a police-court, to express myself with the utmost moderation of language upon this the last occasion that I shall have to communicate with you. Allow me, therefore, merely to remark that our ideas of the conduct which is becoming in a gentleman differ seriously; and permit me on this account to request that you will consider yourself for the future as a stranger to my family and to myself.
“One more word regarding our future relationship, and then I’m done. My views on certain subjects are, I suppose, those of an old-fashioned person. In my time, we had a code of honor that guided our actions. According to that code, if a man investigated a lady’s affairs without being her husband, father, or brother, he had to justify his behavior to others; and if he avoided that responsibility, he forfeited the status of a gentleman. It’s quite possible that this outdated way of thinking no longer exists; but it’s too late for me, at my age, to adopt more modern views. I am very careful, understanding that we live in a country and time where the only court of honor is a police court, to express myself as moderately as possible on this final occasion of communicating with you. Therefore, let me merely point out that our views on what is appropriate behavior for a gentleman differ significantly, and because of that, I ask you to consider yourself a stranger to my family and to me from now on.
“Your obedient servant,
"Yours truly,"
“DAVID MILROY.”
“David Milroy.”
The Monday morning on which his client received the major’s letter was the blackest Monday that had yet been marked in Pedgift’s calendar. When Allan’s first angry sense of the tone of contempt in which his friend and neighbor pronounced sentence on him had subsided, it left him sunk in a state of depression from which no efforts made by his traveling companion could rouse him for the rest of the day. Reverting naturally, now that his sentence of banishment had been pronounced, to his early intercourse with the cottage, his memory went back to Neelie, more regretfully and more penitently than it had gone back to her yet. “If she had shut the door on me, instead of her father,” was the bitter reflection with which Allan now reviewed the past, “I shouldn’t have had a word to say against it; I should have felt it served me right.”
The Monday morning when his client got the major’s letter was the worst Monday that had ever been recorded in Pedgift’s calendar. Once Allan's initial anger at the condescending way his friend and neighbor had judged him faded, he was left in a deep depression that no amount of effort from his traveling companion could lift for the rest of the day. Naturally reflecting on his earlier interactions at the cottage, his thoughts turned more regretfully and penitently to Neelie than they ever had before. “If she had closed the door on me instead of her father,” Allan bitterly thought as he looked back on the past, “I wouldn't have had a single complaint; I would have felt it was what I deserved.”
The next day brought another letter—a welcome letter this time, from Mr. Brock. Allan had written to Somersetshire on the subject of refitting the yacht some days since. The letter had found the rector engaged, as he innocently supposed, in protecting his old pupil against the woman whom he had watched in London, and whom he now believed to have followed him back to his own home. Acting under the directions sent to her, Mrs. Oldershaw’s house-maid had completed the mystification of Mr. Brock. She had tranquilized all further anxiety on the rector’s part by giving him a written undertaking (in the character of Miss Gwilt), engaging never to approach Mr. Armadale, either personally or by letter! Firmly persuaded that he had won the victory at last, poor Mr. Brock answered Allan’s note in the highest spirits, expressing some natural surprise at his leaving Thorpe Ambrose, but readily promising that the yacht should be refitted, and offering the hospitality of the rectory in the heartiest manner.
The next day brought another letter—a welcome one this time, from Mr. Brock. Allan had written to Somersetshire about refitting the yacht a few days earlier. The letter found the rector busy, as he mistakenly thought, in protecting his former student from the woman he had observed in London, whom he now believed had followed him back home. Following the instructions given to her, Mrs. Oldershaw’s housemaid had successfully confused Mr. Brock. She had put an end to any further concerns from the rector by providing him with a written promise (in the guise of Miss Gwilt), agreeing never to approach Mr. Armadale, either in person or through letters! Completely convinced that he had finally triumphed, poor Mr. Brock replied to Allan’s note in high spirits, expressing some surprise at his departure from Thorpe Ambrose, but eagerly agreeing that the yacht would be refitted and generously offering the hospitality of the rectory.
This letter did wonders in raising Allan’s spirits. It gave him a new interest to look to, entirely disassociated from his past life in Norfolk. He began to count the days that were still to pass before the return of his absent friend. It was then Tuesday. If Midwinter came back from his walking trip, as he had engaged to come back, in a fortnight, Saturday would find him at Thorpe Ambrose. A note sent to meet the traveler might bring him to London the same night; and, if all went well, before another week was over they might be afloat together in the yacht.
This letter really lifted Allan's spirits. It gave him a fresh interest to focus on, completely separate from his old life in Norfolk. He started counting the days until his friend's return. It was Tuesday. If Midwinter returned from his walking trip as promised, he would be back at Thorpe Ambrose in two weeks. A note sent to meet him might bring him to London that same night; and if everything went smoothly, they could be sailing together on the yacht within a week.
The next day passed, to Allan’s relief, without bringing any letters. The spirits of Pedgift rose sympathetically with the spirits of his client. Toward dinner time he reverted to the mens sana in corpore sano of the ancients, and issued his orders to the head-waiter more royally than ever.
The next day went by, much to Allan’s relief, without any letters arriving. Pedgift’s mood lifted along with his client’s. Around dinner time, he recalled the idea of mens sana in corpore sano from ancient times and gave his orders to the head-waiter more grandly than ever.
Thursday came, and brought the fatal postman with more news from Norfolk. A letter-writer now stepped on the scene who had not appeared there yet; and the total overthrow of all Allan’s plans for a visit to Somersetshire was accomplished on the spot.
Thursday arrived, bringing the fateful postman with more news from Norfolk. A new letter-writer entered the scene who hadn’t been there before; and the complete collapse of all Allan’s plans for a visit to Somersetshire happened right then and there.
Pedgift Junior happened that morning to be the first at the breakfast table. When Allan came in, he relapsed into his professional manner, and offered a letter to his patron with a bow performed in dreary silence.
Pedgift Junior happened to be the first at the breakfast table that morning. When Allan entered, he fell back into his professional demeanor and handed a letter to his boss with a bow that was performed in gloomy silence.
“For me?” inquired Allan, shrinking instinctively from a new correspondent.
“For me?” Allan asked, instinctively pulling back from the new correspondent.
“For you, sir—from my father,” replied Pedgift, “inclosed in one to myself. Perhaps you will allow me to suggest, by way of preparing you for—for something a little unpleasant—that we shall want a particularly good dinner to-day; and (if they’re not performing any modern German music to-night) I think we should do well to finish the evening melodiously at the Opera.”
“For you, sir—from my father,” replied Pedgift, “included in one addressed to me. Perhaps I could suggest, as a way of preparing you for something a bit uncomfortable—that we’ll need a really nice dinner today; and (if they aren’t playing any modern German music tonight) I think it would be nice to wrap up the evening with some good music at the Opera.”
“Something wrong at Thorpe Ambrose?” asked Allen.
“Is something wrong at Thorpe Ambrose?” Allen asked.
“Yes, Mr. Armadale; something wrong at Thorpe Ambrose.”
“Yes, Mr. Armadale; there’s something off at Thorpe Ambrose.”
Allan sat down resignedly, and opened the letter.
Allan sat down with a sense of defeat and opened the letter.
[“Private and Confidential.”]
"Private and Confidential."
“High Street Thorpe Ambrose, 17th July, 1851.
“High Street Thorpe Ambrose, July 17, 1851.
“DEAR SIR—I cannot reconcile it with my sense of duty to your interests to leave you any longer in ignorance of reports current in this town and its neighborhood, which, I regret to say, are reports affecting yourself.
“DEAR SIR—I cannot justify ignoring my responsibility to you by keeping you in the dark about rumors circulating in this town and nearby, which, unfortunately, involve you.
“The first intimation of anything unpleasant reached me on Monday last. It was widely rumored in the town that something had gone wrong at Major Milroy’s with the new governess, and that Mr. Armadale was mixed up in it. I paid no heed to this, believing it to be one of the many trumpery pieces of scandal perpetually set going here, and as necessary as the air they breathe to the comfort of the inhabitants of this highly respectable place.
“The first hint of something off came to me last Monday. There were rumors all over town that something had gone sideways at Major Milroy’s with the new governess, and that Mr. Armadale was involved. I didn’t pay much attention to it, thinking it was just one of the countless petty scandals that are always floating around here, as essential to the comfort of the people in this very respectable place as the air they breathe.”
“Tuesday, however, put the matter in a new light. The most interesting particulars were circulated on the highest authority. On Wednesday, the gentry in the neighborhood took the matter up, and universally sanctioned the view adopted by the town. To-day the public feeling has reached its climax, and I find myself under the necessity of making you acquainted with what has happened.
“Tuesday, however, changed everything. The most interesting details were shared from the highest sources. On Wednesday, the local gentry got involved and completely backed the town's perspective. Today, the public sentiment has hit its peak, and I feel it's necessary to let you know what has happened.”
“To begin at the beginning. It is asserted that a correspondence took place last week between Major Milroy and yourself; in which you cast a very serious suspicion on Miss Gwilt’s respectability, without defining your accusations and without (on being applied to) producing your proofs. Upon this, the major appears to have felt it his duty (while assuring his governess of his own firm belief in her respectability) to inform her of what had happened, in order that she might have no future reason to complain of his having had any concealments from her in a matter affecting her character. Very magnanimous on the major’s part; but you will see directly that Miss Gwilt was more magnanimous still. After expressing her thanks in a most becoming manner, she requested permission to withdraw herself from Major Milroy’s service.
"To start at the beginning. It’s been reported that there was a conversation last week between Major Milroy and you, where you raised very serious doubts about Miss Gwilt’s reputation, without clarifying your accusations and failing to provide any proof when asked. As a result, the major felt it was his duty (while reassuring his governess of his strong belief in her integrity) to inform her of what happened, so she wouldn’t have any reason to feel he had hidden anything from her regarding her character. Quite noble of the major; but you'll see shortly that Miss Gwilt was even more noble. After thanking him in a very gracious way, she asked for permission to leave Major Milroy’s service."
“Various reports are in circulation as to the governess’s reason for taking this step.
“Various reports are going around about why the governess decided to take this step.
“The authorized version (as sanctioned by the resident gentry) represents Miss Gwilt to have said that she could not condescend—in justice to herself, and in justice to her highly respectable reference—to defend her reputation against undefined imputations cast on it by a comparative stranger. At the same time it was impossible for her to pursue such a course of conduct as this, unless she possessed a freedom of action which was quite incompatible with her continuing to occupy the dependent position of a governess. For that reason she felt it incumbent on her to leave her situation. But, while doing this, she was equally determined not to lead to any misinterpretation of her motives by leaving the neighborhood. No matter at what inconvenience to herself, she would remain long enough at Thorpe Ambrose to await any more definitely expressed imputations that might be made on her character, and to repel them publicly the instant they assumed a tangible form.
“The authorized version (as approved by the local gentry) states that Miss Gwilt said she could not lower herself—in fairness to herself, and in fairness to her highly respectable reference—to defend her reputation against vague accusations made by a near stranger. At the same time, it was impossible for her to act in this way unless she had the freedom to do so, which was completely at odds with her ongoing role as a governess. For this reason, she felt it was necessary to leave her job. However, while doing this, she was equally determined not to allow any misunderstandings about her motives by leaving the area. Regardless of the inconvenience to herself, she would stay at Thorpe Ambrose long enough to hear any more clearly stated accusations against her character and to respond to them publicly as soon as they took a definite shape."
“Such is the position which this high-minded lady has taken up, with an excellent effect on the public mind in these parts. It is clearly her interest, for some reason, to leave her situation, without leaving the neighborhood. On Monday last she established herself in a cheap lodging on the outskirts of the town. And on the same day she probably wrote to her reference, for yesterday there came a letter from that lady to Major Milroy, full of virtuous indignation, and courting the fullest inquiry. The letter has been shown publicly, and has immensely strengthened Miss Gwilt’s position. She is now considered to be quite a heroine. The Thorpe Ambrose Mercury has got a leading article about her, comparing her to Joan of Arc. It is considered probable that she will be referred to in the sermon next Sunday. We reckon five strong-minded single ladies in this neighborhood—and all five have called on her. A testimonial was suggested; but it has been given up at Miss Gwilt’s own request, and a general movement is now on foot to get her employment as a teacher of music. Lastly, I have had the honor of a visit from the lady herself, in her capacity of martyr, to tell me, in the sweetest manner, that she doesn’t blame Mr. Armadale, and that she considers him to be an innocent instrument in the hands of other and more designing people. I was carefully on my guard with her; for I don’t altogether believe in Miss Gwilt, and I have my lawyer’s suspicions of the motive that is at the bottom of her present proceedings.
“Such is the stance this noble-minded lady has taken, which has had a great impact on public opinion around here. For some reason, it seems to be in her best interest to leave her position without actually leaving the neighborhood. Last Monday, she moved into a budget lodging on the outskirts of town. On that same day, she likely wrote to her reference, as yesterday a letter arrived from that lady to Major Milroy, filled with righteous outrage and asking for a thorough investigation. The letter has been made public and has significantly bolstered Miss Gwilt’s reputation. She is now seen as quite the heroine. The Thorpe Ambrose Mercury published a leading article about her, likening her to Joan of Arc. It’s likely she will be mentioned in the sermon this coming Sunday. We estimate there are five strong-minded single women in this neighborhood—and all five have visited her. A testimonial was proposed; however, it was dropped at Miss Gwilt’s own request, and there is now a movement to find her a job as a music teacher. Lastly, I had the honor of a visit from her, in her role as a martyr, where she sweetly told me that she doesn’t blame Mr. Armadale and views him as an innocent pawn in the schemes of others. I was careful around her, as I don’t entirely trust Miss Gwilt, and I have my lawyer’s doubts about the motives behind her current actions.”
“I have written thus far, my dear sir, with little hesitation or embarrassment. But there is unfortunately a serious side to this business as well as a ridiculous side; and I must unwillingly come to it before I close my letter.
“I have written this much, my dear sir, without much hesitation or embarrassment. However, there is unfortunately a serious aspect to this matter in addition to the absurdity, and I must reluctantly address it before I finish my letter.
“It is, I think, quite impossible that you can permit yourself to be spoken of as you are spoken of now, without stirring personally in the matter. You have unluckily made many enemies here, and foremost among them is my colleague, Mr. Darch. He has been showing everywhere a somewhat rashly expressed letter you wrote to him on the subject of letting the cottage to Major Milroy instead of to himself, and it has helped to exasperate the feeling against you. It is roundly stated in so many words that you have been prying into Miss Gwilt’s family affairs, with the most dishonorable motives; that you have tried, for a profligate purpose of your own, to damage her reputation, and to deprive her of the protection of Major Milroy’s roof; and that, after having been asked to substantiate by proof the suspicions that you have cast on the reputation of a defenseless woman, you have maintained a silence which condemns you in the estimation of all honorable men.
“I think it’s really impossible for you to let people talk about you the way they are now without getting personally involved. Unfortunately, you’ve made a lot of enemies here, and at the top of the list is my colleague, Mr. Darch. He’s been showing everyone a somewhat rashly written letter you sent him about renting the cottage to Major Milroy instead of him, and it’s made the hostility against you even worse. It’s being said outright that you’ve been snooping into Miss Gwilt’s family matters with the most dishonorable intentions; that you’ve tried to damage her reputation for your own selfish reasons, and to take away the protection of Major Milroy’s home from her; and that after being asked to back up the accusations you’ve made against a defenseless woman, you’ve kept quiet, which makes you look bad in the eyes of all honorable men.”
“I hope it is quite unnecessary for me to say that I don’t attach the smallest particle of credit to these infamous reports. But they are too widely spread and too widely believed to be treated with contempt. I strongly urge you to return at once to this place, and to take the necessary measures for defending your character, in concert with me, as your legal adviser. I have formed, since my interview with Miss Gwilt, a very strong opinion of my own on the subject of that lady which it is not necessary to commit to paper. Suffice it to say here that I shall have a means to propose to you for silencing the slanderous tongues of your neighbors, on the success of which I stake my professional reputation, if you will only back me by your presence and authority.
“I hope it’s clear that I don’t believe a word of these terrible rumors. However, they’re too widespread and widely accepted to just ignore. I strongly urge you to come back here immediately and take the necessary steps to protect your reputation, working together with me as your legal advisor. Since my conversation with Miss Gwilt, I’ve developed a strong opinion about her that doesn’t need to be written down. Let’s just say I have a plan to shut down the gossiping neighbors that I’m confident will work, but I need your support and authority to make it happen.”
“It may, perhaps, help to show you the necessity there is for your return, if I mention one other assertion respecting yourself, which is in everybody’s mouth. Your absence is, I regret to tell you, attributed to the meanest of all motives. It is said that you are remaining in London because you are afraid to show your face at Thorpe Ambrose.
“It might help to clarify why your return is necessary if I mention something else about you that everyone is talking about. Unfortunately, I have to tell you that your absence is being blamed on the most contemptible reason. People are saying you’re staying in London because you’re too afraid to show your face at Thorpe Ambrose.”
“Believe me, dear sir, your faithful servant,
“Believe me, dear sir, your loyal servant,
“A. PEDGIFT, Sen.”
“A. PEDGIFT, Sen.”
Allan was of an age to feel the sting contained in the last sentence of his lawyer’s letter. He started to his feet in a paroxysm of indignation, which revealed his character to Pedgift Junior in an entirely new light.
Allan was old enough to feel the sting in the final sentence of his lawyer’s letter. He jumped to his feet in a fit of anger, which showed Pedgift Junior a completely different side of his character.
“Where’s the time-table?” cried Allan. “I must go back to Thorpe Ambrose by the next train! If it doesn’t start directly, I’ll have a special engine. I must and will go back instantly, and I don’t care two straws for the expense!”
“Where’s the schedule?” shouted Allan. “I need to get back to Thorpe Ambrose on the next train! If it doesn’t leave right away, I’ll hire a private engine. I have to go back immediately, and I don’t care at all about the cost!”
“Suppose we telegraph to my father, sir?” suggested the judicious Pedgift. “It’s the quickest way of expressing your feelings, and the cheapest.”
“Why don't we send a telegram to my dad, sir?” proposed the sensible Pedgift. “It’s the fastest way to share your thoughts, and it’s the least expensive.”
“So it is,” said Allan. “Thank you for reminding me of it. Telegraph to them! Tell your father to give every man in Thorpe Ambrose the lie direct, in my name. Put it in capital letters, Pedgift—put it in capital letters!”
“So it is,” Allan said. “Thanks for reminding me. Send a telegram to them! Tell your dad to directly challenge every man in Thorpe Ambrose in my name. Write it in capital letters, Pedgift—make sure it’s in capital letters!”
Pedgift smiled and shook his head. If he was acquainted with no other variety of human nature, he thoroughly knew the variety that exists in country towns.
Pedgift smiled and shook his head. If he didn't know any other type of human nature, he definitely understood the kind that exists in small towns.
“It won’t have the least effect on them, Mr. Armadale,” he remarked quietly. “They’ll only go on lying harder than ever. If you want to upset the whole town, one line will do it. With five shillings’ worth of human labor and electric fluid, sir (I dabble a little in science after business hours), we’ll explode a bombshell in Thorpe Ambrose!” He produced the bombshell on a slip of paper as he spoke: “A. Pedgift, Junior, to A. Pedgift, Senior.—Spread it all over the place that Mr. Armadale is coming down by the next train.”
“It won’t make any difference to them, Mr. Armadale,” he said calmly. “They’ll just lie even more. If you want to shake up the whole town, one line will do the trick. With just five shillings’ worth of human labor and some electricity, sir (I dabble a bit in science after work), we could blow up a bombshell in Thorpe Ambrose!” He revealed the bombshell on a piece of paper as he spoke: “A. Pedgift, Junior, to A. Pedgift, Senior.—Spread the word everywhere that Mr. Armadale is arriving on the next train.”
“More words!” suggested Allan, looking over his shoulder. “Make it stronger.”
“More words!” Allan suggested, glancing over his shoulder. “Make it stronger.”
“Leave my father to make it stronger, sir,” returned the wary Pedgift. “My father is on the spot, and his command of language is something quite extraordinary.” He rang the bell, and dispatched the telegram.
“Let my father handle it, sir,” replied the cautious Pedgift. “He's right here, and his way with words is truly remarkable.” He rang the bell and sent the telegram.
Now that something had been done, Allan subsided gradually into a state of composure. He looked back again at Mr. Pedgift’s letter, and then handed it to Mr. Pedgift’s son.
Now that something had been taken care of, Allan slowly settled into a calm state. He glanced back at Mr. Pedgift’s letter and then passed it to Mr. Pedgift’s son.
“Can you guess your father’s plan for setting me right in the neighborhood?” he asked.
“Can you figure out your dad’s plan to fix my reputation in the neighborhood?” he asked.
Pedgift the younger shook his wise head. “His plan appears to be connected in some way, sir, with his opinion of Miss Gwilt.”
Pedgift the younger shook his wise head. “His plan seems to be linked in some way, sir, to his opinion of Miss Gwilt.”
“I wonder what he thinks of her?” said Allan.
“I wonder what he thinks of her?” Allan said.
“I shouldn’t be surprised, Mr. Armadale,” returned Pedgift Junior, “if his opinion staggers you a little, when you come to hear it. My father has had a large legal experience of the shady side of the sex, and he learned his profession at the Old Bailey.”
“I shouldn’t be surprised, Mr. Armadale,” replied Pedgift Junior, “if his opinion catches you off guard a bit when you hear it. My father has a lot of legal experience dealing with the darker side of the situation, and he learned his profession at the Old Bailey.”
Allan made no further inquiries. He seemed to shrink from pursuing the subject, after having started it himself. “Let’s be doing something to kill the time,” he said. “Let’s pack up and pay the bill.”
Allan didn't ask any more questions. He seemed to back away from the topic, even though he had brought it up himself. “Let’s do something to pass the time,” he said. “Let’s pack up and settle the bill.”
They packed up and paid the bill. The hour came, and the train left for Norfolk at last.
They packed up and settled the bill. The time arrived, and the train finally left for Norfolk.
While the travelers were on their way back, a somewhat longer telegraphic message than Allan’s was flashing its way past them along the wires, in the reverse direction—from Thorpe Ambrose to London. The message was in cipher, and, the signs being interpreted, it ran thus: “From Lydia Gwilt to Maria Oldershaw.—Good news! He is coming back. I mean to have an interview with him. Everything looks well. Now I have left the cottage, I have no women’s prying eyes to dread, and I can come and go as I please. Mr. Midwinter is luckily out of the way. I don’t despair of becoming Mrs. Armadale yet. Whatever happens, depend on my keeping away from London until I am certain of not taking any spies after me to your place. I am in no hurry to leave Thorpe Ambrose. I mean to be even with Miss Milroy first.”
While the travelers were on their way back, a somewhat longer telegraphic message than Allan’s was flashing its way past them along the wires, in the opposite direction—from Thorpe Ambrose to London. The message was in code, and when the signs were deciphered, it read: “From Lydia Gwilt to Maria Oldershaw.—Good news! He’s coming back. I plan to have a meeting with him. Everything looks good. Now that I’ve left the cottage, I don’t have to worry about any nosy women, and I can come and go as I want. Mr. Midwinter is luckily out of the way. I’m still hopeful about becoming Mrs. Armadale. Whatever happens, you can count on me staying away from London until I’m sure I won’t have any spies following me to your place. I’m in no rush to leave Thorpe Ambrose. I want to settle things with Miss Milroy first.”
Shortly after that message was received in London, Allan was back again in his own house.
Shortly after that message arrived in London, Allan was back in his own house.
It was evening—Pedgift Junior had just left him—and Pedgift Senior was expected to call on business in half an hour’s time.
It was evening—Pedgift Junior had just left him—and Pedgift Senior was expected to stop by for business in half an hour.
V. PEDGIFT’S REMEDY.
After waiting to hold a preliminary consultation with his son, Mr. Pedgift the elder set forth alone for his interview with Allan at the great house.
After waiting to have a preliminary meeting with his son, Mr. Pedgift the elder set out alone for his interview with Allan at the big house.
Allowing for the difference in their ages, the son was, in this instance, so accurately the reflection of the father, that an acquaintance with either of the two Pedgifts was almost equivalent to an acquaintance with both. Add some little height and size to the figure of Pedgift Junior, give more breadth and boldness to his humor, and some additional solidity and composure to his confidence in himself, and the presence and character of Pedgift Senior stood, for all general purposes, revealed before you.
Considering their age difference, the son was such a precise reflection of the father that knowing either one of the Pedgifts was nearly the same as knowing both. Just add a bit more height and size to Pedgift Junior, enhance his humor with more boldness, and give his self-confidence a little more solidity and composure, and you'd see the presence and character of Pedgift Senior clearly before you.
The lawyer’s conveyance to Thorpe Ambrose was his own smart gig, drawn by his famous fast-trotting mare. It was his habit to drive himself; and it was one among the trifling external peculiarities in which he and his son differed a little, to affect something of the sporting character in his dress. The drab trousers of Pedgift the elder fitted close to his legs; his boots, in dry weather and wet alike, were equally thick in the sole; his coat pockets overlapped his hips, and his favorite summer cravat was of light spotted muslin, tied in the neatest and smallest of bows. He used tobacco like his son, but in a different form. While the younger man smoked, the elder took snuff copiously; and it was noticed among his intimates that he always held his “pinch” in a state of suspense between his box and his nose when he was going to clinch a good bargain or to say a good thing. The art of diplomacy enters largely into the practice of all successful men in the lower branch of the law. Mr. Pedgift’s form of diplomatic practice had been the same throughout his life, on every occasion when he found his arts of persuasion required at an interview with another man. He invariably kept his strongest argument, or his boldest proposal, to the last, and invariably remembered it at the door (after previously taking his leave), as if it was a purely accidental consideration which had that instant occurred to him. Jocular friends, acquainted by previous experience with this form of proceeding, had given it the name of “Pedgift’s postscript.” There were few people in Thorpe Ambrose who did not know what it meant when the lawyer suddenly checked his exit at the opened door; came back softly to his chair, with his pinch of snuff suspended between his box and his nose; said, “By-the-by, there’s a point occurs to me;” and settled the question off-hand, after having given it up in despair not a minute before.
The lawyer’s ride to Thorpe Ambrose was his own stylish gig, pulled by his well-known fast-trotting mare. He usually drove himself, and one of the small ways he differed from his son was in trying to have a bit of a sporty look in his clothes. The drab trousers of Pedgift the elder fit snugly on his legs; his boots, whether it was dry or wet outside, were equally thick-soled; his coat pockets hung over his hips, and his favorite summer cravat was made of light spotted muslin, tied in the neatest and smallest of bows. He used tobacco like his son but in a different way. While the younger man smoked, the elder took snuff generously; and his friends noticed that he always held his “pinch” in suspense between his box and his nose when he was about to seal a good deal or drop a clever line. The art of diplomacy plays a big role in the lives of all successful men in the lower branch of the law. Mr. Pedgift practiced his form of diplomacy consistently throughout his life whenever he needed to persuade someone in a meeting. He always saved his strongest argument or boldest proposal for last, and he almost always remembered it at the door (after previously bidding farewell), as if it were just a random thought that popped into his head at that moment. His joking friends, who knew this routine from past experiences, dubbed it “Pedgift’s postscript.” There were few people in Thorpe Ambrose who didn’t recognize what it meant when the lawyer suddenly paused at the open door; returned quietly to his chair with his pinch of snuff hovering between his box and his nose; said, “By the way, there’s a thought that comes to mind;” and casually resolved the issue after having nearly given up just a minute earlier.
This was the man whom the march of events at Thorpe Ambrose had now thrust capriciously into a foremost place. This was the one friend at hand to whom Allan in his social isolation could turn for counsel in the hour of need.
This was the man whom the events at Thorpe Ambrose had now randomly propelled into a leading position. He was the only friend available whom Allan, in his social isolation, could turn to for advice in his time of need.
“Good-evening, Mr. Armadale. Many thanks for your prompt attention to my very disagreeable letter,” said Pedgift Senior, opening the conversation cheerfully the moment he entered his client’s house. “I hope you understand, sir, that I had really no choice under the circumstances but to write as I did?”
“Good evening, Mr. Armadale. Thank you for addressing my rather unpleasant letter so quickly,” said Pedgift Senior, starting the conversation cheerfully as soon as he walked into his client’s house. “I hope you realize, sir, that I truly had no other option given the situation but to write what I did?”
“I have very few friends, Mr. Pedgift,” returned Allan, simply. “And I am sure you are one of the few.”
“I have very few friends, Mr. Pedgift,” Allan replied straightforwardly. “And I’m sure you’re one of them.”
“Much obliged, Mr. Armadale. I have always tried to deserve your good opinion, and I mean, if I can, to deserve it now. You found yourself comfortable, I hope, sir, at the hotel in London? We call it Our hotel. Some rare old wine in the cellar, which I should have introduced to your notice if I had had the honor of being with you. My son unfortunately knows nothing about wine.”
“Thanks a lot, Mr. Armadale. I've always tried to earn your good opinion, and I intend to do so now, if I can. I hope you were comfortable at the hotel in London, sir? We refer to it as Our hotel. There's some rare old wine in the cellar that I would have liked to show you if I had the honor of being with you. Unfortunately, my son knows nothing about wine.”
Allan felt his false position in the neighborhood far too acutely to be capable of talking of anything but the main business of the evening. His lawyer’s politely roundabout method of approaching the painful subject to be discussed between them rather irritated than composed him. He came at once to the point, in his own bluntly straightforward way.
Allan felt the weight of his false standing in the neighborhood too much to focus on anything other than the main issue of the evening. His lawyer's tactful and indirect way of addressing the uncomfortable topic they needed to discuss only annoyed him instead of calming him down. He got right to the point in his typically blunt and straightforward manner.
“The hotel was very comfortable, Mr. Pedgift, and your son was very kind to me. But we are not in London now; and I want to talk to you about how I am to meet the lies that are being told of me in this place. Only point me out any one man,” cried Allan, with a rising voice and a mounting color—“any one man who says I am afraid to show my face in the neighborhood, and I’ll horsewhip him publicly before another day is over his head!”
“The hotel was really nice, Mr. Pedgift, and your son was very kind to me. But we're not in London anymore, and I want to discuss how I'm supposed to deal with the lies being spread about me here. Just point out any one guy,” Allan shouted, his voice getting louder and his face flushed, “anyone who claims I'm too scared to show my face around here, and I’ll publicly horsewhip him before the day is over!”
Pedgift Senior helped himself to a pinch of snuff, and held it calmly in suspense midway between his box and his nose.
Pedgift Senior took a pinch of snuff and held it calmly in the air, halfway between his box and his nose.
“You can horsewhip a man, sir; but you can’t horsewhip a neighborhood,” said the lawyer, in his politely epigrammatic manner. “We will fight our battle, if you please, without borrowing our weapons of the coachman yet a while, at any rate.”
“You can whip a guy, sir; but you can’t whip a whole neighborhood,” said the lawyer, in his politely clever way. “We will fight our battle, if you don’t mind, without borrowing our weapons from the coachman for now.”
“But how are we to begin?” asked Allan, impatiently. “How am I to contradict the infamous things they say of me?”
“But how do we start?” Allan asked, impatiently. “How am I supposed to refute the horrible things they say about me?”
“There are two ways of stepping out of your present awkward position, sir—a short way, and a long way,” replied Pedgift Senior. “The short way (which is always the best) has occurred to me since I have heard of your proceedings in London from my son. I understand that you permitted him, after you received my letter, to take me into your confidence. I have drawn various conclusions from what he has told me, which I may find it necessary to trouble you with presently. In the meantime I should be glad to know under what circumstances you went to London to make these unfortunate inquiries about Miss Gwilt? Was it your own notion to pay that visit to Mrs. Mandeville? or were you acting under the influence of some other person?”
“There are two ways to get out of your current awkward situation, sir—a quick way and a slow way,” replied Pedgift Senior. “The quick way (which is usually the best) came to mind after I heard about your activities in London from my son. I understand that you allowed him, after you got my letter, to share your plans with me. I’ve drawn several conclusions from what he’s told me, which I might need to discuss with you soon. For now, I’d like to know what led you to London to make those unfortunate inquiries about Miss Gwilt. Was it your own idea to visit Mrs. Mandeville, or were you influenced by someone else?”
Allan hesitated. “I can’t honestly tell you it was my own notion,” he replied, and said no more.
Allan paused. “I can’t honestly say it was my own idea,” he replied, and didn’t say anything else.
“I thought as much!” remarked Pedgift Senior, in high triumph. “The short way out of our present difficulty, Mr. Armadale, lies straight through that other person, under whose influence you acted. That other person must be presented forthwith to public notice, and must stand in that other person’s proper place. The name, if you please, sir, to begin with—we’ll come to the circumstances directly.”
“I knew it!” said Pedgift Senior, feeling triumphant. “The quickest way out of our current trouble, Mr. Armadale, goes directly through that other person who influenced your actions. That person needs to be brought to the public's attention right away and should take their rightful place. Let’s start with the name, if you don’t mind, and we’ll get to the details shortly.”
“I am sorry to say, Mr. Pedgift, that we must try the longest way, if you have no objection,” replied Allan, quietly. “The short way happens to be a way I can’t take on this occasion.”
“I’m sorry to say, Mr. Pedgift, that we have to take the longer route, if that’s alright with you,” Allan replied calmly. “The shorter route happens to be one I can’t use this time.”
The men who rise in the law are the men who decline to take No for an answer. Mr. Pedgift the elder had risen in the law; and Mr. Pedgift the elder now declined to take No for an answer. But all pertinacity—even professional pertinacity included—sooner or later finds its limits; and the lawyer, doubly fortified as he was by long experience and copious pinches of snuff, found his limits at the very outset of the interview. It was impossible that Allan could respect the confidence which Mrs. Milroy had treacherously affected to place in him. But he had an honest man’s regard for his own pledged word—the regard which looks straightforward at the fact, and which never glances sidelong at the circumstances—and the utmost persistency of Pedgift Senior failed to move him a hairbreadth from the position which he had taken up. “No” is the strongest word in the English language, in the mouth of any man who has the courage to repeat it often enough, and Allan had the courage to repeat it often enough on this occasion.
The men who succeed in the law are the ones who refuse to accept No as an answer. Mr. Pedgift the elder had made his way in the legal world; and he wasn't about to accept No now. However, even relentless determination—professional determination included—eventually hits a wall; and the lawyer, who was bolstered by years of experience and plenty of pinches of snuff, reached his limit right at the start of the meeting. There was no way Allan could respect the trust that Mrs. Milroy had deceitfully pretended to place in him. Yet he had an honest man's commitment to his word—an integrity that looks directly at the facts without avoiding the circumstances—and despite all of Pedgift Senior's insistence, he wouldn't budge an inch from his stance. "No" is the most powerful word in English, spoken by anyone who has the guts to say it often enough, and Allan had the courage to keep saying it in this situation.
“Very good, sir,” said the lawyer, accepting his defeat without the slightest loss of temper. “The choice rests with you, and you have chosen. We will go the long way. It starts (allow me to inform you) from my office; and it leads (as I strongly suspect) through a very miry road to—Miss Gwilt.”
“Very well, sir,” said the lawyer, accepting his defeat without the slightest hint of anger. “The choice is yours, and you’ve made it. We’ll take the long way. It begins (if I may inform you) from my office; and it leads (as I strongly suspect) down a very muddy road to—Miss Gwilt.”
Allan looked at his legal adviser in speechless astonishment.
Allan stared at his lawyer in shocked silence.
“If you won’t expose the person who is responsible in the first instance, sir, for the inquiries to which you unfortunately lent yourself,” proceeded Mr. Pedgift the elder, “the only other alternative, in your present position, is to justify the inquiries themselves.”
“If you’re not going to reveal who’s really responsible for the inquiries you unfortunately got involved in,” continued Mr. Pedgift the elder, “the only other option you have right now is to justify the inquiries themselves.”
“And how is that to be done?” inquired Allan.
“And how is that supposed to be done?” Allan asked.
“By proving to the whole neighborhood, Mr. Armadale, what I firmly believe to be the truth—that the pet object of the public protection is an adventuress of the worst class; an undeniably worthless and dangerous woman. In plainer English still, sir, by employing time enough and money enough to discover the truth about Miss Gwilt.”
“By showing the whole neighborhood, Mr. Armadale, what I truly believe is the truth—that the person everyone is trying to protect is a scammer of the worst kind; a completely useless and dangerous woman. To put it more simply, sir, by spending enough time and money to uncover the truth about Miss Gwilt.”
Before Allan could say a word in answer, there was an interruption at the door. After the usual preliminary knock, one of the servants came in.
Before Allan could say anything in reply, there was an interruption at the door. After the standard knock, one of the servants walked in.
“I told you I was not to be interrupted,” said Allan, irritably. “Good heavens! am I never to have done with them? Another letter!”
“I told you not to interrupt me,” Allan said, annoyed. “Good grief! Am I ever going to be done with these? Another letter!”
“Yes, sir,” said the man, holding it out. “And,” he added, speaking words of evil omen in his master’s ears, “the person waits for an answer.”
“Yes, sir,” said the man, holding it out. “And,” he added, speaking words of bad news in his master’s ears, “the person is waiting for a response.”
Allan looked at the address of the letter with a natural expectation of encountering the handwriting of the major’s wife. The anticipation was not realized. His correspondent was plainly a lady, but the lady was not Mrs. Milroy.
Allan looked at the address of the letter, expecting to see the handwriting of the major’s wife. His expectations were not met. The person writing to him was clearly a lady, but it wasn’t Mrs. Milroy.
“Who can it be?” he said, looking mechanically at Pedgift Senior as he opened the envelope.
“Who could it be?” he said, mechanically glancing at Pedgift Senior as he opened the envelope.
Pedgift Senior gently tapped his snuff-box, and said, without a moment’s hesitation, “Miss Gwilt.”
Pedgift Senior gently tapped his snuff-box and said, without a moment's hesitation, “Miss Gwilt.”
Allan opened the letter. The first two words in it were the echo of the two words the lawyer had just pronounced. It was Miss Gwilt!
Allan opened the letter. The first two words in it echoed what the lawyer had just said. It was Miss Gwilt!
Once more, Allan looked at his legal adviser in speechless astonishment.
Once again, Allan stared at his lawyer in silent amazement.
“I have known a good many of them in my time, sir,” explained Pedgift Senior, with a modesty equally rare and becoming in a man of his age. “Not as handsome as Miss Gwilt, I admit. But quite as bad, I dare say. Read your letter, Mr. Armadale—read your letter.”
“I've known quite a few of them in my time, sir,” Pedgift Senior explained, showing a modesty that is both rare and fitting for a man his age. “Not as attractive as Miss Gwilt, I’ll admit. But just as troublesome, I would say. Read your letter, Mr. Armadale—read your letter.”
Allan read these lines:
Allan read these words:
“Miss Gwilt presents her compliments to Mr. Armadale and begs to know if it will be convenient to him to favor her with an interview, either this evening or to-morrow morning. Miss Gwilt offers no apology for making her present request. She believes Mr. Armadale will grant it as an act of justice toward a friendless woman whom he has been innocently the means of injuring, and who is earnestly desirous to set herself right in his estimation.”
“Miss Gwilt sends her regards to Mr. Armadale and would like to know if it would be convenient for him to meet with her, either this evening or tomorrow morning. Miss Gwilt does not apologize for making this request. She believes Mr. Armadale will agree to it as a fair act towards a friendless woman he has inadvertently harmed, who is genuinely eager to clear her name in his eyes.”
Allan handed the letter to his lawyer in silent perplexity and distress.
Allan handed the letter to his lawyer, feeling confused and upset.
The face of Mr. Pedgift the elder expressed but one feeling when he had read the letter in his turn and had handed it back—a feeling of profound admiration. “What a lawyer she would have made,” he exclaimed, fervently, “if she had only been a man!”
The expression on Mr. Pedgift the elder's face showed just one emotion when he read the letter and handed it back—a deep admiration. “What a lawyer she would have been,” he exclaimed passionately, “if she had only been a man!”
“I can’t treat this as lightly as you do, Mr. Pedgift,” said Allan. “It’s dreadfully distressing to me. I was so fond of her,” he added, in a lower tone—“I was so fond of her once.”
“I can’t take this as lightly as you do, Mr. Pedgift,” Allan said. “It’s really upsetting for me. I used to care for her a lot,” he added, in a quieter voice—“I used to care for her a lot.”
Mr. Pedgift Senior suddenly became serious on his side.
Mr. Pedgift Senior suddenly got serious on his side.
“Do you mean to say, sir, that you actually contemplate seeing Miss Gwilt?” he asked, with an expression of genuine dismay.
“Are you really saying, sir, that you’re considering seeing Miss Gwilt?” he asked, looking genuinely upset.
“I can’t treat her cruelly,” returned Allan. “I have been the means of injuring her—without intending it, God knows! I can’t treat her cruelly after that!”
“I can’t be cruel to her,” Allan replied. “I’ve hurt her—without meaning to, I swear! I can’t be cruel to her after that!”
“Mr. Armadale,” said the lawyer, “you did me the honor, a little while since, to say that you considered me your friend. May I presume on that position to ask you a question or two, before you go straight to your own ruin?”
“Mr. Armadale,” said the lawyer, “you honored me a little while ago by saying you consider me your friend. Can I take that as an opportunity to ask you a question or two before you head straight to your own downfall?”
“Any questions you like,” said Allan, looking back at the letter—the only letter he had ever received from Miss Gwilt.
“Feel free to ask anything,” said Allan, glancing back at the letter—the only one he had ever received from Miss Gwilt.
“You have had one trap set for you already, sir, and you have fallen into it. Do you want to fall into another?”
“You’ve already fallen into one trap, sir. Do you really want to fall into another?”
“You know the answer to that question, Mr. Pedgift, as well as I do.”
“You know the answer to that question, Mr. Pedgift, just like I do.”
“I’ll try again, Mr. Armadale; we lawyers are not easily discouraged. Do you think that any statement Miss Gwilt might make to you, if you do see her, would be a statement to be relied on, after what you and my son discovered in London?”
“I’ll try again, Mr. Armadale; we lawyers don’t give up easily. Do you think any statement Miss Gwilt makes to you, if you end up seeing her, would be something to trust, after what you and my son found out in London?”
“She might explain what we discovered in London,” suggested Allan, still looking at the writing, and thinking of the hand that had traced it.
“She could explain what we found in London,” Allan suggested, still looking at the writing and thinking about the hand that had written it.
“Might explain it? My dear sir, she is quite certain to explain it! I will do her justice: I believe she would make out a case without a single flaw in it from beginning to end.”
Could she explain it? My dear sir, she will definitely explain it! I’ll give her credit: I believe she could present a case with absolutely no flaws from start to finish.
That last answer forced Allan’s attention away from the letter. The lawyer’s pitiless common sense showed him no mercy.
That last answer pulled Allan’s focus away from the letter. The lawyer’s harsh logic offered him no mercy.
“If you see that woman again, sir,” proceeded Pedgift Senior, “you will commit the rashest act of folly I ever heard of in all my experience. She can have but one object in coming here—to practice on your weakness for her. Nobody can say into what false step she may not lead you, if you once give her the opportunity. You admit yourself that you have been fond of her; your attentions to her have been the subject of general remark; if you haven’t actually offered her the chance of becoming Mrs. Armadale, you have done the next thing to it; and knowing all this, you propose to see her, and to let her work on you with her devilish beauty and her devilish cleverness, in the character of your interesting victim! You, who are one of the best matches in England! You, who are the natural prey of all the hungry single women in the community! I never heard the like of it; I never, in all my professional experience, heard the like of it! If you must positively put yourself in a dangerous position, Mr. Armadale,” concluded Pedgift the elder, with the everlasting pinch of snuff held in suspense between his box and his nose, “there’s a wild-beast show coming to our town next week. Let in the tigress, sir; don’t let in Miss Gwilt!”
“If you see that woman again, sir,” continued Pedgift Senior, “you're going to make the biggest mistake I've ever seen in all my experience. She has only one goal in coming here—to take advantage of your weaknesses. Nobody can know what trouble she might lead you into if you give her the chance. You admit that you’ve been fond of her; your interest in her has become common talk; if you haven’t actually proposed to her about becoming Mrs. Armadale, you’ve come pretty close to it. And knowing all this, you plan to see her and let her manipulate you with her seductive beauty and cunning, while pretending to be your poor victim! You, who are one of the most desirable bachelors in England! You, who are the perfect target for all the single women looking for a husband! I've never seen anything like it; I’ve never, in all my professional experience, seen anything like it! If you absolutely have to put yourself in a risky situation, Mr. Armadale,” concluded Pedgift the elder, with the ever-present pinch of snuff held in midair between his box and his nose, “there’s a wild animal show coming to town next week. Let in the tigress, sir; don’t let in Miss Gwilt!”
For the third time Allan looked at his lawyer. And for the third time his lawyer looked back at him quite unabashed.
For the third time, Allan glanced at his lawyer. And for the third time, his lawyer met his gaze without any shame.
“You seem to have a very bad opinion of Miss Gwilt,” said Allan.
“You really don't think much of Miss Gwilt,” said Allan.
“The worst possible opinion, Mr. Armadale,” retorted Pedgift Senior, coolly. “We will return to that when we have sent the lady’s messenger about his business. Will you take my advice? Will you decline to see her?”
“The worst possible opinion, Mr. Armadale,” replied Pedgift Senior, calmly. “We’ll get back to that once we send the lady’s messenger on his way. Would you take my advice? Will you choose not to see her?”
“I would willingly decline—it would be so dreadfully distressing to both of us,” said Allan. “I would willingly decline, if I only knew how.”
“I would gladly refuse—it would be so painfully upsetting for both of us,” said Allan. “I would gladly refuse if I just knew how.”
“Bless my soul, Mr. Armadale, it’s easy enough! Don’t commit you yourself in writing. Send out to the messenger, and say there’s no answer.”
“Bless my soul, Mr. Armadale, it’s simple! Don’t put yourself in writing. Just send a message to the messenger and say there’s no reply.”
The short course thus suggested was a course which Allan positively declined to take. “It’s treating her brutally,” he said; “I can’t and won’t do it.”
The short course he suggested was one that Allan firmly refused to take. “It’s treating her cruelly,” he said; “I can’t and won’t do it.”
Once more the pertinacity of Pedgift the elder found its limits, and once more that wise man yielded gracefully to a compromise. On receiving his client’s promise not to see Miss Gwilt, he consented to Allan’s committing himself in writing under his lawyer’s dictation. The letter thus produced was modeled in Allan’s own style; it began and ended in one sentence. “Mr. Armadale presents his compliments to Miss Gwilt, and regrets that he cannot have the pleasure of seeing her at Thorpe Ambrose.” Allan had pleaded hard for a second sentence, explaining that he only declined Miss Gwilt’s request from a conviction that an interview would be needlessly distressing on both sides. But his legal adviser firmly rejected the proposed addition to the letter. “When you say No to a woman, sir,” remarked Pedgift Senior, “always say it in one word. If you give her your reasons, she invariably believes that you mean Yes.”
Once again, Pedgift the elder's stubbornness met its limits, and once again, that wise man gracefully agreed to a compromise. After receiving his client’s promise not to see Miss Gwilt, he allowed Allan to commit himself in writing under his lawyer’s guidance. The letter produced was in Allan’s own style; it began and ended with one sentence. “Mr. Armadale presents his compliments to Miss Gwilt and regrets that he cannot have the pleasure of seeing her at Thorpe Ambrose.” Allan had strongly argued for a second sentence, explaining that he was declining Miss Gwilt’s request because he believed an interview would be unnecessarily distressing for both of them. However, his legal advisor firmly rejected adding to the letter. “When you say No to a woman, sir,” said Pedgift Senior, “always say it in one word. If you give her your reasons, she will always think you mean Yes.”
Producing that little gem of wisdom from the rich mine of his professional experience, Mr. Pedgift the elder sent out the answer to Miss Gwilt’s messenger, and recommended the servant to “see the fellow, whoever he was, well clear of the house.”
Producing that little gem of wisdom from the rich mine of his professional experience, Mr. Pedgift the elder sent out the answer to Miss Gwilt’s messenger and advised the servant to “make sure the guy, whoever he was, stayed well away from the house.”
“Now, sir,” said the lawyer, “we will come back, if you like, to my opinion of Miss Gwilt. It doesn’t at all agree with yours, I’m afraid. You think her an object of pity—quite natural at your age. I think her an object for the inside of a prison—quite natural at mine. You shall hear the grounds on which I have formed my opinion directly. Let me show you that I am in earnest by putting the opinion itself, in the first place, to a practical test. Do you think Miss Gwilt is likely to persist in paying you a visit, Mr. Armadale, after the answer you have just sent to her?”
“Now, sir,” said the lawyer, “let’s revisit my view on Miss Gwilt if you’d like. It’s quite different from yours, I’m afraid. You see her as someone to feel sorry for—pretty typical for your age. I see her as someone who belongs in a prison—also typical for mine. You’ll hear the reasons behind my opinion shortly. Allow me to show you that I’m serious by putting my opinion to a practical test first. Do you think Miss Gwilt will still want to visit you, Mr. Armadale, after the response you just sent her?”
“Quite impossible!” cried Allan, warmly. “Miss Gwilt is a lady; after the letter I have sent to her, she will never come near me again.”
“Totally impossible!” exclaimed Allan passionately. “Miss Gwilt is a lady; after the letter I sent her, she’ll never come near me again.”
“There we join issue, sir,” cried Pedgift Senior. “I say she will snap her fingers at your letter (which was one of the reasons why I objected to your writing it). I say, she is in all probability waiting her messenger’s return, in or near your grounds at this moment. I say, she will try to force her way in here, before four-and-twenty hours more are over your head. Egad, sir!” cried Mr. Pedgift, looking at his watch, “it’s only seven o’clock now. She’s bold enough and clever enough to catch you unawares this very evening. Permit me to ring for the servant—permit me to request that you will give him orders immediately to say you are not at home. You needn’t hesitate, Mr. Armadale! If you’re right about Miss Gwilt, it’s a mere formality. If I’m right, it’s a wise precaution. Back your opinion, sir,” said Mr. Pedgift, ringing the bell; “I back mine!”
“There we disagree, sir,” exclaimed Pedgift Senior. “I say she will ignore your letter (which is one of the reasons I was against you sending it). I say she’s likely waiting for her messenger to return, in or near your property right now. I say she will try to force her way in here, before the next twenty-four hours pass. Goodness, sir!” Mr. Pedgift said, looking at his watch, “it’s only seven o’clock now. She’s bold and clever enough to catch you off guard this very evening. Let me call for the servant—let me ask that you give him instructions to say you’re not at home. You shouldn’t hesitate, Mr. Armadale! If you’re correct about Miss Gwilt, it’s just a formality. If I’m correct, it’s a smart precaution. Stand by your opinion, sir,” Mr. Pedgift urged as he rang the bell; “I’ll stand by mine!”
Allan was sufficiently nettled when the bell rang to feel ready to give the order. But when the servant came in, past remembrances got the better of him, and the words stuck in his throat. “You give the order,” he said to Mr. Pedgift, and walked away abruptly to the window. “You’re a good fellow!” thought the old lawyer, looking after him, and penetrating his motive on the instant. “The claws of that she-devil shan’t scratch you if I can help it.”
Allan was annoyed enough when the bell rang to feel ready to give the order. But when the servant came in, memories from the past overwhelmed him, and the words got stuck in his throat. “You give the order,” he said to Mr. Pedgift, then abruptly walked away to the window. “You’re a good guy!” thought the old lawyer, watching him and instantly understanding his motive. “I won’t let that she-devil hurt you if I can help it.”
The servant waited inexorably for his orders.
The servant waited patiently for his instructions.
“If Miss Gwilt calls here, either this evening, or at any other time,” said Pedgift Senior, “Mr. Armadale is not at home. Wait! If she asks when Mr. Armadale will be back, you don’t know. Wait! If she proposes coming in and sitting down, you have a general order that nobody is to come in and sit down unless they have a previous appointment with Mr. Armadale. Come!” cried old Pedgift, rubbing his hands cheerfully when the servant had left the room, “I’ve stopped her out now, at any rate! The orders are all given, Mr. Armadale. We may go on with our conversation.”
“If Miss Gwilt comes here, whether this evening or at any other time,” said Pedgift Senior, “Mr. Armadale isn't home. Wait! If she asks when Mr. Armadale will return, you don’t know. Wait! If she suggests coming in and sitting down, you have a standing rule that nobody is allowed to come in and sit down unless they have a prior appointment with Mr. Armadale. Come!” cried old Pedgift, rubbing his hands happily once the servant had left the room, “I’ve kept her out for now, at least! All the instructions are given, Mr. Armadale. We can continue our conversation.”
Allan came back from the window. “The conversation is not a very pleasant one,” he said. “No offense to you, but I wish it was over.”
Allan walked away from the window. “This conversation isn’t very pleasant,” he said. “No offense, but I wish it was over.”
“We will get it over as soon as possible, sir,” said Pedgift Senior, still persisting, as only lawyers and women can persist, in forcing his way little by little nearer and nearer to his own object. “Let us go back, if you please, to the practical suggestion which I offered to you when the servant came in with Miss Gwilt’s note. There is, I repeat, only one way left for you, Mr. Armadale, out of your present awkward position. You must pursue your inquiries about this woman to an end—on the chance (which I consider next to a certainty) that the end will justify you in the estimation of the neighborhood.”
“We'll wrap this up as quickly as we can, sir,” said Pedgift Senior, still pushing forward, like only lawyers and women can, inching closer to his goal. “Let’s return, if you don’t mind, to the practical suggestion I made when the servant brought in Miss Gwilt’s note. There is, I repeat, only one path for you, Mr. Armadale, to escape your current awkward situation. You need to follow your inquiries about this woman to a conclusion—on the chance (which I think is almost certain) that the conclusion will clear your name in the eyes of the community.”
“I wish to God I had never made any inquiries at all!” said Allan. “Nothing will induce me, Mr. Pedgift, to make any more.”
“I wish to God I had never asked anything in the first place!” said Allan. “Nothing will convince me, Mr. Pedgift, to ask anymore.”
“Why?” asked the lawyer.
"Why?" the lawyer asked.
“Can you ask me why,” retorted Allan, hotly, “after your son has told you what we found out in London? Even if I had less cause to be—to be sorry for Miss Gwilt than I have; even if it was some other woman, do you think I would inquire any further into the secret of a poor betrayed creature—much less expose it to the neighborhood? I should think myself as great a scoundrel as the man who has cast her out helpless on the world, if I did anything of the kind. I wonder you can ask me the question—upon my soul, I wonder you can ask me the question!”
“Can you believe you’re asking me that?” Allan shot back, angrily. “After your son has already told you what we discovered in London? Even if I had less reason to feel sorry for Miss Gwilt than I do; even if it were some other woman, do you really think I would dig any deeper into the secret of a poor betrayed person—let alone expose it to the neighborhood? I would consider myself just as much of a scoundrel as the man who has left her helpless in the world, if I did anything like that. I’m surprised you can even ask me that—honestly, I’m surprised you can ask me that!”
“Give me your hand, Mr. Armadale!” cried Pedgift Senior, warmly; “I honor you for being so angry with me. The neighborhood may say what it pleases; you’re a gentleman, sir, in the best sense of the word. Now,” pursued the lawyer, dropping Allan’s hand, and lapsing back instantly from sentiment to business, “just hear what I have got to say in my own defense. Suppose Miss Gwilt’s real position happens to be nothing like what you are generously determined to believe it to be?”
“Give me your hand, Mr. Armadale!” shouted Pedgift Senior, with warmth; “I respect you for being so upset with me. The neighborhood can say whatever it wants; you’re a gentleman, sir, in every sense of the word. Now,” continued the lawyer, letting go of Allan’s hand and quickly shifting from emotion back to business, “just listen to what I have to say in my defense. What if Miss Gwilt’s true situation is nothing like what you’re nobly choosing to think it is?”
“We have no reason to suppose that,” said Allan, resolutely.
"We have no reason to think that," said Allan, firmly.
“Such is your opinion, sir,” persisted Pedgift. “Mine, founded on what is publicly known of Miss Gwilt’s proceedings here, and on what I have seen of Miss Gwilt herself, is that she is as far as I am from being the sentimental victim you are inclined to make her out. Gently, Mr. Armadale! remember that I have put my opinion to a practical test, and wait to condemn it off-hand until events have justified you. Let me put my points, sir—make allowances for me as a lawyer—and let me put my points. You and my son are young men; and I don’t deny that the circumstances, on the surface, appear to justify the interpretation which, as young men, you have placed on them. I am an old man—I know that circumstances are not always to be taken as they appear on the surface—and I possess the great advantage, in the present case, of having had years of professional experience among some of the wickedest women who ever walked this earth.”
“That's your opinion, sir,” Pedgift continued. “Mine, based on what’s publicly known about Miss Gwilt’s actions here, and on my own observations of her, is that she’s as far from being the sentimental victim you want to portray as I am. Easy there, Mr. Armadale! Remember, I’ve tested my opinion in real situations, so hold off on dismissing it until events prove you right. Let me share my points, sir—consider my perspective as a lawyer—and let me explain. You and my son are young men; I’ll admit that the situation, on the surface, seems to support the interpretation you’ve both reached as young men. I’m older—I’ve learned that situations aren’t always what they seem at first—and I have the significant advantage in this case of having years of professional experience with some of the most deceitful women who have ever lived.”
Allan opened his lips to protest, and checked himself, in despair of producing the slightest effect. Pedgift Senior bowed in polite acknowledgment of his client’s self-restraint, and took instant advantage of it to go on.
Allan opened his mouth to protest but stopped himself, feeling hopeless about making any impact. Pedgift Senior nodded politely in acknowledgment of his client's self-control and quickly seized the opportunity to continue.
“All Miss Gwilt’s proceedings,” he resumed, “since your unfortunate correspondence with the major show me that she is an old hand at deceit. The moment she is threatened with exposure—exposure of some kind, there can be no doubt, after what you discovered in London—she turns your honorable silence to the best possible account, and leaves the major’s service in the character of a martyr. Once out of the house, what does she do next? She boldly stops in the neighborhood, and serves three excellent purposes by doing so. In the first place, she shows everybody that she is not afraid of facing another attack on her reputation. In the second place, she is close at hand to twist you round her little finger, and to become Mrs. Armadale in spite of circumstances, if you (and I) allow her the opportunity. In the third place, if you (and I) are wise enough to distrust her, she is equally wise on her side, and doesn’t give us the first great chance of following her to London, and associating her with her accomplices. Is this the conduct of an unhappy woman who has lost her character in a moment of weakness, and who has been driven unwillingly into a deception to get it back again?”
“All Miss Gwilt’s actions,” he continued, “since your unfortunate exchange with the major, show me that she’s very skilled at deceit. The moment she feels threatened with being exposed—exposed in some way, there’s no doubt about that after what you found out in London—she takes your honorable silence and uses it to her advantage, leaving the major’s service like a martyr. Once she’s out of the house, what does she do next? She confidently stays in the area, serving three clear purposes by doing so. First, she demonstrates to everyone that she’s not afraid of facing another attack on her reputation. Second, she’s close by to manipulate you and become Mrs. Armadale despite the circumstances, if you (and I) allow her the chance. Third, if you (and I) are smart enough to distrust her, she’s equally smart and doesn’t give us a real opportunity to follow her to London and connect her with her accomplices. Is this the behavior of a desperate woman who has lost her reputation in a moment of weakness and has been forced into deception to regain it?”
“You put it cleverly,” said Allan, answering with marked reluctance; “I can’t deny that you put it cleverly.”
“You made a good point,” Allan said, responding with obvious hesitation; “I can’t deny that you made a good point.”
“Your own common sense, Mr. Armadale, is beginning to tell you that I put it justly,” said Pedgift Senior. “I don’t presume to say yet what this woman’s connection may be with those people at Pimlico. All I assert is that it is not the connection you suppose. Having stated the facts so far, I have only to add my own personal impression of Miss Gwilt. I won’t shock you, if I can help it; I’ll try if I can’t put it cleverly again. She came to my office (as I told you in my letter), no doubt to make friends with your lawyer, if she could; she came to tell me, in the most forgiving and Christian manner, that she didn’t blame you.”
“Your own common sense, Mr. Armadale, is starting to tell you that I'm speaking the truth,” said Pedgift Senior. “I don’t claim to know yet what this woman's connection is with those people in Pimlico. All I’m saying is that it’s not the connection you think it is. After laying out the facts, I just want to share my personal impression of Miss Gwilt. I won’t shock you, if I can avoid it; I’ll try to express it in a clever way again. She came to my office (as I mentioned in my letter), probably to make friends with your lawyer, if she could; she came to tell me, in the most forgiving and kind manner, that she didn’t blame you.”
“Do you ever believe in anybody, Mr. Pedgift?” interposed Allan.
“Do you ever believe in anyone, Mr. Pedgift?” Allan asked.
“Sometimes, Mr. Armadale,” returned Pedgift the elder, as unabashed as ever. “I believe as often as a lawyer can. To proceed, sir. When I was in the criminal branch of practice, it fell to my lot to take instructions for the defense of women committed for trial from the women’s own lips. Whatever other difference there might be among them, I got, in time, to notice, among those who were particularly wicked and unquestionably guilty, one point in which they all resembled each other. Tall and short, old and young, handsome and ugly, they all had a secret self-possession that nothing could shake. On the surface they were as different as possible. Some of them were in a state of indignation; some of them were drowned in tears; some of them were full of pious confidence; and some of them were resolved to commit suicide before the night was out. But only put your finger suddenly on the weak point in the story told by any one of them, and there was an end of her rage, or her tears, or her piety, or her despair; and out came the genuine woman, in full possession of all her resources with a neat little lie that exactly suited the circumstances of the case. Miss Gwilt was in tears, sir—becoming tears that didn’t make her nose red—and I put my finger suddenly on the weak point in her story. Down dropped her pathetic pocket-handkerchief from her beautiful blue eyes, and out came the genuine woman with the neat little lie that exactly suited the circumstances! I felt twenty years younger, Mr. Armadale, on the spot. I declare I thought I was in Newgate again, with my note-book in my hand, taking my instructions for the defense!”
“Sometimes, Mr. Armadale,” replied Pedgift the elder, as unflustered as ever. “I believe it happens as often as a lawyer can. To continue, sir. When I worked in criminal law, I often had to take instructions for the defense of women facing trial directly from them. Regardless of their differences, I eventually noticed one thing all the particularly wicked and undeniably guilty ones had in common. Whether tall or short, old or young, beautiful or ugly, they all possessed a secret composure that nothing could disturb. On the surface, they were as different as could be. Some were outraged; some were in tears; some had a strong sense of faith; and some were determined to end their lives before the night was over. But as soon as you pointed out the weak spot in any of their stories, their anger, tears, piety, or despair would vanish, revealing the real woman, fully equipped with a clever little lie that fit the situation perfectly. Miss Gwilt was in tears, sir—tears that looked good without making her nose red—and I suddenly pointed out the weak spot in her story. Her dramatic handkerchief dropped from her lovely blue eyes, and out came the real woman with the clever little lie that fit the circumstances exactly! I felt twenty years younger, Mr. Armadale, right there. I swear I thought I was back in Newgate again, with my notebook in hand, taking instructions for the defense!”
“The next thing you’ll say, Mr. Pedgift,” cried Allan, angrily, “is that Miss Gwilt has been in prison!”
“The next thing you’ll say, Mr. Pedgift,” Allan shouted angrily, “is that Miss Gwilt has been in jail!”
Pedgift Senior calmly rapped his snuff-box, and had his answer ready at a moment’s notice.
Pedgift Senior calmly tapped his snuffbox and had his response ready in an instant.
“She may have richly deserved to see the inside of a prison, Mr. Armadale; but, in the age we live in, that is one excellent reason for her never having been near any place of the kind. A prison, in the present tender state of public feeling, for a charming woman like Miss Gwilt! My dear sir, if she had attempted to murder you or me, and if an inhuman judge and jury had decided on sending her to a prison, the first object of modern society would be to prevent her going into it; and, if that couldn’t be done, the next object would be to let her out again as soon as possible. Read your newspaper, Mr. Armadale, and you’ll find we live in piping times for the black sheep of the community—if they are only black enough. I insist on asserting, sir, that we have got one of the blackest of the lot to deal with in this case. I insist on asserting that you have had the rare luck, in these unfortunate inquiries, to pitch on a woman who happens to be a fit object for inquiry, in the interests of the public protection. Differ with me as strongly as you please, but don’t make up your mind finally about Miss Gwilt until events have put those two opposite opinions of ours to the test that I have proposed. A fairer test there can’t be. I agree with you that no lady worthy of the name could attempt to force her way in here, after receiving your letter. But I deny that Miss Gwilt is worthy of the name; and I say she will try to force her way in here in spite of you.”
“She might have truly earned a spot in prison, Mr. Armadale; but in today's world, that's exactly why she’s never been near one. A prison, given the current sensitive state of public opinion, for a lovely woman like Miss Gwilt! My dear sir, if she had tried to murder you or me, and if a heartless judge and jury had decided to send her to prison, the main goal of modern society would be to keep her out of it; and if that couldn't be achieved, the next goal would be to get her released as quickly as possible. Read your newspaper, Mr. Armadale, and you’ll see we live in a time that coddles the black sheep of society—if they’re just black enough. I firmly assert, sir, that we’re dealing with one of the worst of the bunch in this case. I insist that you’ve got the rare luck, in these tricky situations, to have found a woman who’s a fitting subject for scrutiny, for the sake of public safety. Disagree with me as much as you want, but don’t make up your mind about Miss Gwilt until events have tested those two opposing views of ours that I’ve suggested. There can’t be a fairer test than that. I agree with you that no lady deserving of the title would try to force her way in here after getting your letter. But I disagree that Miss Gwilt is deserving of the title; and I say she will attempt to force her way in here regardless of you.”
“And I say she won’t!” retorted Allan, firmly.
“And I say she won’t!” Allan replied, confidently.
Pedgift Senior leaned back in his chair and smiled. There was a momentary silence, and in that silence the door-bell rang.
Pedgift Senior leaned back in his chair and smiled. There was a brief pause, and during that pause, the doorbell rang.
The lawyer and the client both looked expectantly in the direction of the hall.
The lawyer and the client both looked expectantly toward the hall.
“No,” cried Allan, more angrily than ever.
“No,” shouted Allan, more upset than ever.
“Yes!” cried Pedgift Senior, contradicting him with the utmost politeness.
“Yes!” exclaimed Pedgift Senior, politely contradicting him.
They waited the event. The opening of the house door was audible, but the room was too far from it for the sound of voices to reach the ear as well. After a long interval of expectation, the closing of the door was heard at last. Allan rose impetuously and rang the bell. Mr. Pedgift the elder sat sublimely calm, and enjoyed, with a gentle zest, the largest pinch of snuff he had taken yet.
They waited for the event. The sound of the door opening could be heard, but the room was too far from it for the voices to reach them as well. After a long wait, they finally heard the door close. Allan got up eagerly and rang the bell. Mr. Pedgift the elder remained incredibly calm, savoring, with a quiet pleasure, the biggest pinch of snuff he had taken so far.
“Anybody for me?” asked Allan, when the servant came in.
“Anyone looking for me?” asked Allan, when the servant came in.
The man looked at Pedgift Senior, with an expression of unutterable reverence, and answered, “Miss Gwilt.”
The man looked at Pedgift Senior with an expression of deep respect and replied, “Miss Gwilt.”
“I don’t want to crow over you, sir,” said Mr. Pedgift the elder, when the servant had withdrawn. “But what do you think of Miss Gwilt now?”
“I don’t want to gloat over you, sir,” said Mr. Pedgift the elder, when the servant had left. “But what do you think of Miss Gwilt now?”
Allan shook his head in silent discouragement and distress.
Allan shook his head, feeling discouraged and distressed.
“Time is of some importance, Mr. Armadale. After what has just happened, do you still object to taking the course I have had the honor of suggesting to you?”
“Time matters, Mr. Armadale. After what just happened, do you still disagree with the approach I've suggested to you?”
“I can’t, Mr. Pedgift,” said Allan. “I can’t be the means of disgracing her in the neighborhood. I would rather be disgraced myself—as I am.”
“I can’t, Mr. Pedgift,” Allan said. “I can’t be the one to shame her in the neighborhood. I’d rather be the one shamed myself—as I am.”
“Let me put it in another way, sir. Excuse my persisting. You have been very kind to me and my family; and I have a personal interest, as well as a professional interest, in you. If you can’t prevail on yourself to show this woman’s character in its true light, will you take common precautions to prevent her doing any more harm? Will you consent to having her privately watched as long as she remains in this neighborhood?”
“Let me put it another way, sir. Sorry to keep insisting. You’ve been really kind to me and my family, and I have a personal interest, as well as a professional one, in you. If you can’t bring yourself to show this woman’s true character, will you at least take basic precautions to stop her from causing any more damage? Would you agree to have her privately monitored while she’s still in this area?”
For the second time Allan shook his head.
For the second time, Allan shook his head.
“Is that your final resolution, sir?”
“Is that your final decision, sir?”
“It is, Mr. Pedgift; but I am much obliged to you for your advice, all the same.”
“It is, Mr. Pedgift; but I really appreciate your advice, anyway.”
Pedgift Senior rose in a state of gentle resignation, and took up his hat “Good-evening, sir,” he said, and made sorrowfully for the door. Allan rose on his side, innocently supposing that the interview was at an end. Persons better acquainted with the diplomatic habits of his legal adviser would have recommended him to keep his seat. The time was ripe for “Pedgift’s postscript,” and the lawyer’s indicative snuff-box was at that moment in one of his hands, as he opened the door with the other.
Pedgift Senior got up with a sense of quiet acceptance and grabbed his hat. “Good evening, sir,” he said, and sadly headed for the door. Allan stood up as well, thinking the meeting was over. People who knew more about the diplomatic ways of his lawyer would have advised him to stay seated. It was the perfect moment for “Pedgift’s postscript,” and the lawyer’s snuff-box was in one hand as he opened the door with the other.
“Good-evening,” said Allan.
“Good evening,” said Allan.
Pedgift Senior opened the door, stopped, considered, closed the door again, came back mysteriously with his pinch of snuff in suspense between his box and his nose, and repeating his invariable formula, “By-the-by, there’s a point occurs to me,” quietly resumed possession of his empty chair.
Pedgift Senior opened the door, paused, thought for a moment, closed the door again, returned mysteriously with a pinch of snuff hovering between his box and his nose, and repeating his usual line, “By the way, there’s something that comes to mind,” calmly took his empty chair again.
Allan, wondering, took the seat, in his turn, which he had just left. Lawyer and client looked at each other once more, and the inexhaustible interview began again.
Allan, wondering, took the seat, in his turn, which he had just left. Lawyer and client looked at each other once more, and the endless interview began again.
VI. PEDGIFT’S POSTSCRIPT.
“I mentioned that a point had occurred to me, sir,” remarked Pedgift Senior.
“I mentioned that I had an idea, sir,” said Pedgift Senior.
“You did,” said Allan.
"You did," Allan said.
“Would you like to hear what it is, Mr. Armadale?”
“Do you want to know what it is, Mr. Armadale?”
“If you please,” said Allan.
“Please,” said Allan.
“With all my heart, sir! This is the point. I attach considerable importance—if nothing else can be done—to having Miss Gwilt privately looked after, as long as she stops at Thorpe Ambrose. It struck me just now at the door, Mr. Armadale, that what you are not willing to do for your own security, you might be willing to do for the security of another person.”
“With all my heart, sir! This is the point. I place a lot of importance—if nothing else can be done—on having Miss Gwilt privately looked after as long as she stays at Thorpe Ambrose. It just occurred to me at the door, Mr. Armadale, that while you might not be willing to do this for your own security, you might consider doing it for someone else's safety.”
“What other person?” inquired Allan.
“What other person?” asked Allan.
“A young lady who is a near neighbor of yours, sir. Shall I mention the name in confidence? Miss Milroy.”
“A young woman who lives close to you, sir. Should I share her name confidentially? Miss Milroy.”
Allan started, and changed color.
Allan began and turned pale.
“Miss Milroy!” he repeated. “Can she be concerned in this miserable business? I hope not, Mr. Pedgift; I sincerely hope not.”
“Miss Milroy!” he said again. “Could she be involved in this awful situation? I really hope not, Mr. Pedgift; I genuinely hope not.”
“I paid a visit, in your interests, sir, at the cottage this morning,” proceeded Pedgift Senior. “You shall hear what happened there, and judge for yourself. Major Milroy has been expressing his opinion of you pretty freely; and I thought it highly desirable to give him a caution. It’s always the way with those quiet addle-headed men: when they do once wake up, there’s no reasoning with their obstinacy, and no quieting their violence. Well, sir, this morning I went to the cottage. The major and Miss Neelie were both in the parlor—miss not looking so pretty as usual; pale, I thought, pale, and worn, and anxious. Up jumps the addle-headed major (I wouldn’t give that, Mr. Armadale, for the brains of a man who can occupy himself for half his lifetime in making a clock!)—up jumps the addle-headed major, in the loftiest manner, and actually tries to look me down. Ha! ha! the idea of anybody looking me down, at my time of life. I behaved like a Christian; I nodded kindly to old What’s-o’clock ‘Fine morning, major,’ says I. ‘Have you any business with me?’ says he. ‘Just a word,’ says I. Miss Neelie, like the sensible girl she is, gets up to leave the room; and what does her ridiculous father do? He stops her. ‘You needn’t go, my dear, I have nothing to say to Mr. Pedgift,’ says this old military idiot, and turns my way, and tries to look me down again. ‘You are Mr. Armadale’s lawyer,’ says he; ‘if you come on any business relating to Mr. Armadale, I refer you to my solicitor.’ (His solicitor is Darch; and Darch has had enough of me in business, I can tell you!) ‘My errand here, major, does certainly relate to Mr. Armadale,’ says I; ‘but it doesn’t concern your lawyer—at any rate, just yet. I wish to caution you to suspend your opinion of my client, or, if you won’t do that, to be careful how you express it in public. I warn you that our turn is to come, and that you are not at the end yet of this scandal about Miss Gwilt.’ It struck me as likely that he would lose his temper when he found himself tackled in that way, and he amply fulfilled my expectations. He was quite violent in his language—the poor weak creature—actually violent with me! I behaved like a Christian again; I nodded kindly, and wished him good-morning. When I looked round to wish Miss Neelie good-morning, too, she was gone. You seem restless, Mr. Armadale,” remarked Pedgift Senior, as Allan, feeling the sting of old recollections, suddenly started out of his chair, and began pacing up and down the room. “I won’t try your patience much longer, sir; I am coming to the point.”
“I visited the cottage this morning for your sake, sir,” continued Pedgift Senior. “You’ll want to know what happened and make your own judgment. Major Milroy has been pretty vocal about his views on you, and I thought it was important to give him a warning. It’s always the same with those quiet but clueless men: once they finally wake up, you can’t reason with their stubbornness, and you can’t calm their anger. So, this morning, I went to the cottage. The major and Miss Neelie were in the parlor—Miss Neelie didn’t look as pretty as usual; she seemed pale, worn, and anxious. The clueless major jumped up (I wouldn’t give that, Mr. Armadale, for the brains of a person who spends half their life making a clock!)—he jumped up, acting all high and mighty, and actually tried to stare me down. Ha! Ha! As if anyone could intimidate me at my age. I acted like a decent person; I kindly nodded to old What’s-his-name. ‘Nice morning, major,’ I said. ‘Do you need something from me?’ he asked. ‘Just a word,’ I replied. Miss Neelie, being the sensible girl she is, stood up to leave the room, and what does her ridiculous father do? He stops her. ‘You don’t need to go, my dear, I have nothing to say to Mr. Pedgift,’ this old military fool says, then he turns to me and tries to stare me down again. ‘You’re Mr. Armadale’s lawyer,’ he says; ‘if you’re here for any business related to Mr. Armadale, I’ll refer you to my solicitor.’ (His solicitor is Darch, and Darch has already had more than enough of me in business, I can assure you!) ‘My purpose here, major, does indeed relate to Mr. Armadale,’ I said; ‘but it doesn’t involve your lawyer—at least not just yet. I want to warn you to hold off on your opinion of my client, or, if you won’t do that, to be careful how you express it in public. I caution you that our time will come, and you haven’t seen the last of this scandal about Miss Gwilt.’ I figured he would lose his temper when I confronted him like that, and he definitely lived up to my expectations. He became quite aggressive in his words—the poor weak man—actually aggressive with me! I behaved like a decent person again; I nodded kindly and wished him a good morning. When I turned to wish Miss Neelie a good morning too, she had already left. ‘You seem restless, Mr. Armadale,’ Pedgift Senior commented, as Allan, reminded of old memories, suddenly stood up and began pacing the room. ‘I won’t take up too much more of your time, sir; I’m getting to the point.’
“I beg your pardon, Mr. Pedgift,” said Allan, returning to his seat, and trying to look composedly at the lawyer through the intervening image of Neelie which the lawyer had called up.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Pedgift,” said Allan, going back to his seat and trying to look calm as he focused on the lawyer through the image of Neelie that the lawyer had brought to mind.
“Well, sir, I left the cottage,” resumed Pedgift Senior. “Just as I turned the corner from the garden into the park, whom should I stumble on but Miss Neelie herself, evidently on the lookout for me. ‘I want to speak to you for one moment, Mr. Pedgift!’ says she. ‘Does Mr. Armadale think me mixed up in this matter?’ She was violently agitated—tears in her eyes, sir, of the sort which my legal experience has not accustomed me to see. I quite forgot myself; I actually gave her my arm, and led her away gently among the trees. (A nice position to find me in, if any of the scandal-mongers of the town had happened to be walking in that direction!) ‘My dear Miss Milroy,’ says I, ‘why should Mr. Armadale think you mixed up in it?’”
"Well, sir, I left the cottage," Pedgift Senior continued. "Just as I turned the corner from the garden into the park, who should I run into but Miss Neelie herself, clearly waiting for me. ‘I need to talk to you for a moment, Mr. Pedgift!’ she said. ‘Does Mr. Armadale think I'm involved in this?’ She was extremely upset—tears in her eyes, sir, of a kind that my legal experience has not prepared me for. I completely lost my composure; I actually offered her my arm and guided her gently among the trees. (What a position to be in, if any gossiping locals had happened to be walking that way!) ‘My dear Miss Milroy,’ I said, ‘why would Mr. Armadale think you're involved in this?’"
“You ought to have told her at once that I thought nothing of the kind!” exclaimed Allan, indignantly. “Why did you leave her a moment in doubt about it?”
“You should have told her right away that I didn’t think anything like that!” Allan said, upset. “Why did you let her doubt it for even a moment?”
“Because I am a lawyer, Mr. Armadale,” rejoined Pedgift Senior, dryly. “Even in moments of sentiment, under convenient trees, with a pretty girl on my arm, I can’t entirely divest myself of my professional caution. Don’t look distressed, sir, pray! I set things right in due course of time. Before I left Miss Milroy, I told her, in the plainest terms, no such idea had ever entered your head.”
“Because I’m a lawyer, Mr. Armadale,” replied Pedgift Senior, dryly. “Even in sentimental moments, under nice trees, with a pretty girl on my arm, I can’t fully shake off my professional caution. Don’t look so upset, please! I’ll set things straight in due time. Before I left Miss Milroy, I told her, in the clearest terms, that no such thought had ever crossed your mind.”
“Did she seem relieved?” asked Allan.
“Did she look relieved?” Allan asked.
“She was able to dispense with the use of my arm, sir,” replied old Pedgift, as dryly as ever, “and to pledge me to inviolable secrecy on the subject of our interview. She was particularly desirous that you should hear nothing about it. If you are at all anxious on your side to know why I am now betraying her confidence, I beg to inform you that her confidence related to no less a person than the lady who favored you with a call just now—Miss Gwilt.”
“She managed to avoid needing my arm, sir,” replied old Pedgift, just as dry as ever, “and made me promise to keep our conversation completely secret. She was especially keen that you shouldn’t hear anything about it. If you’re curious about why I’m now breaking her trust, I should let you know that her confidence involved none other than the lady who just visited you—Miss Gwilt.”
Allan, who had been once more restlessly pacing the room, stopped, and returned to his chair.
Allan, who had been pacing the room restlessly once again, stopped and went back to his chair.
“Is this serious?” he asked.
“Is this for real?” he asked.
“Most serious, sir,” returned Pedgift Senior. “I am betraying Miss Neelie’s secret, in Miss Neelie’s own interest. Let us go back to that cautious question I put to her. She found some little difficulty in answering it, for the reply involved her in a narrative of the parting interview between her governess and herself. This is the substance of it. The two were alone when Miss Gwilt took leave of her pupil; and the words she used (as reported to me by Miss Neelie) were these. She said, ‘Your mother has declined to allow me to take leave of her. Do you decline too?’ Miss Neelie’s answer was a remarkably sensible one for a girl of her age. ‘We have not been good friends,’ she said, ‘and I believe we are equally glad to part with each other. But I have no wish to decline taking leave of you.’ Saying that, she held out her hand. Miss Gwilt stood looking at her steadily, without taking it, and addressed her in these words: ‘You are not Mrs. Armadale yet.’ Gently, sir! Keep your temper. It’s not at all wonderful that a woman, conscious of having her own mercenary designs on you, should attribute similar designs to a young lady who happens to be your near neighbor. Let me go on. Miss Neelie, by her own confession (and quite naturally, I think), was excessively indignant. She owns to having answered, ‘You shameless creature, how dare you say that to me!’ Miss Gwilt’s rejoinder was rather a remarkable one—the anger, on her side, appears to have been of the cool, still, venomous kind. ‘Nobody ever yet injured me, Miss Milroy,’ she said, ‘without sooner or later bitterly repenting it. You will bitterly repent it.’ She stood looking at her pupil for a moment in dead silence, and then left the room. Miss Neelie appears to have felt the imputation fastened on her, in connection with you, far more sensitively than she felt the threat. She had previously known, as everybody had known in the house, that some unacknowledged proceedings of yours in London had led to Miss Gwilt’s voluntary withdrawal from her situation. And she now inferred, from the language addressed to her, that she was actually believed by Miss Gwilt to have set those proceedings on foot, to advance herself, and to injure her governess, in your estimation. Gently, sir, gently! I haven’t quite done yet. As soon as Miss Neelie had recovered herself, she went upstairs to speak to Mrs. Milroy. Miss Gwilt’s abominable imputation had taken her by surprise; and she went to her mother first for enlightenment and advice. She got neither the one nor the other. Mrs. Milroy declared she was too ill to enter on the subject, and she has remained too ill to enter on it ever since. Miss Neelie applied next to her father. The major stopped her the moment your name passed her lips: he declared he would never hear you mentioned again by any member of his family. She has been left in the dark from that time to this, not knowing how she might have been misrepresented by Miss Gwilt, or what falsehoods you might have been led to believe of her. At my age and in my profession, I don’t profess to have any extraordinary softness of heart. But I do think, Mr. Armadale, that Miss Neelie’s position deserves our sympathy.”
“Most serious, sir,” replied Pedgift Senior. “I’m revealing Miss Neelie’s secret for her own good. Let’s revisit that cautious question I asked her. She had some trouble answering it because it required her to recount the goodbye conversation between her governess and herself. Here’s the gist of it. They were alone when Miss Gwilt said goodbye to her pupil, and the words she used (as reported to me by Miss Neelie) were these: ‘Your mother has declined to allow me to take leave of her. Do you decline too?’ Miss Neelie’s response was impressively wise for a girl her age. ‘We haven’t been good friends,’ she said, ‘and I think we’re both glad to part ways. But I don’t want to decline taking leave of you.’ As she said this, she reached out her hand. Miss Gwilt looked at her steadily without taking it and responded, ‘You are not Mrs. Armadale yet.’ Now, calm down, sir! It’s not surprising that a woman, who knows she has her own selfish motives regarding you, would assume the same of a young lady who lives nearby. Let me continue. Miss Neelie, by her own admission (and understandably, I think), was extremely upset. She admits to having responded, ‘You shameless person, how dare you say that to me!’ Miss Gwilt’s reply was quite striking—the anger on her side seemed cool, still, and venomous. ‘Nobody has ever harmed me, Miss Milroy,’ she said, ‘without eventually regretting it. You will regret it.’ She stood there looking at her pupil in dead silence for a moment before leaving the room. Miss Neelie seems to have been more hurt by the accusation related to you than by the threat itself. She already knew, as everyone in the house did, that some undisclosed actions of yours in London had caused Miss Gwilt to voluntarily leave her position. Now, from Miss Gwilt’s words, she inferred that she was actually thought to have instigated those actions to better herself at the expense of her governess in your eyes. Calm down, sir, calm down! I’m not finished yet. Once Miss Neelie regained her composure, she went upstairs to talk to Mrs. Milroy. Miss Gwilt’s ugly accusation had shocked her, and she turned to her mother for clarity and guidance first. She got neither. Mrs. Milroy said she was too ill to discuss it, and she’s remained too ill to talk about it ever since. Miss Neelie next sought her father. The major cut her off the moment your name came up: he declared he would never allow your name to be mentioned again by any member of his family. Since then, she’s been left in the dark, not knowing how she might have been misrepresented by Miss Gwilt, or what lies you might have been led to believe about her. At my age and in my profession, I don’t claim to have any extraordinary softness of heart. But I do think, Mr. Armadale, that Miss Neelie’s situation deserves our sympathy.”
“I’ll do anything to help her!” cried Allan, impulsively. “You don’t know, Mr. Pedgift, what reason I have—” He checked himself, and confusedly repeated his first words. “I’ll do anything,” he reiterated earnestly—“anything in the world to help her!”
“I’ll do anything to help her!” Allan exclaimed impulsively. “You don’t understand, Mr. Pedgift, what reason I have—” He paused, then awkwardly repeated his first statement. “I’ll do anything,” he insisted sincerely—“anything in the world to help her!”
“Do you really mean that, Mr. Armadale? Excuse my asking; but you can very materially help Miss Neelie, if you choose!”
“Do you really mean that, Mr. Armadale? Sorry for asking, but you can really help Miss Neelie if you decide to!”
“How?” asked Allan. “Only tell me how!”
“How?” Allan asked. “Just tell me how!”
“By giving me your authority, sir, to protect her from Miss Gwilt.”
“By giving me your permission, sir, to protect her from Miss Gwilt.”
Having fired that shot pointblank at his client, the wise lawyer waited a little to let it take its effect before he said any more.
Having fired that shot point-blank at his client, the savvy lawyer waited a moment to let it sink in before he said anything else.
Allan’s face clouded, and he shifted uneasily from side to side of his chair.
Allan’s expression darkened, and he shifted uncomfortably from side to side in his chair.
“Your son is hard enough to deal with, Mr. Pedgift,” he said, “and you are harder than your son.”
“Your son is tough enough to handle, Mr. Pedgift,” he said, “and you’re even tougher than your son.”
“Thank you, sir,” rejoined the ready Pedgift, “in my son’s name and my own, for a handsome compliment to the firm. If you really wish to be of assistance to Miss Neelie,” he went on, more seriously, “I have shown you the way. You can do nothing to quiet her anxiety which I have not done already. As soon as I had assured her that no misconception of her conduct existed in your mind, she went away satisfied. Her governess’s parting threat doesn’t seem to have dwelt on her memory. I can tell you, Mr. Armadale, it dwells on mine! You know my opinion of Miss Gwilt; and you know what Miss Gwilt herself has done this very evening to justify that opinion even in your eyes. May I ask, after all that has passed, whether you think she is the sort of woman who can be trusted to confine herself to empty threats?”
“Thank you, sir,” replied the eager Pedgift, “on behalf of my son and myself, for the kind words about the firm. If you really want to help Miss Neelie,” he continued more seriously, “I’ve shown you the way. You can’t do anything to ease her worries that I haven’t already done. Once I assured her that you didn’t harbor any misunderstanding about her actions, she left feeling satisfied. The parting threat from her governess doesn’t seem to have lingered in her mind. I can tell you, Mr. Armadale, it definitely lingers in mine! You know how I feel about Miss Gwilt; and you’re aware of what Miss Gwilt herself has done this very evening to confirm that opinion in your eyes as well. May I ask, given everything that’s happened, do you really think she’s the type of woman who can be relied upon to stick to empty threats?”
The question was a formidable one to answer. Forced steadily back from the position which he had occupied at the outset of the interview, by the irresistible pressure of plain facts, Allan began for the first time to show symptoms of yielding on the subject of Miss Gwilt. “Is there no other way of protecting Miss Milroy but the way you have mentioned?” he asked, uneasily.
The question was a tough one to answer. Steadily pushed back from the stance he had taken at the beginning of the interview by the undeniable weight of the facts, Allan began to show signs of giving in on the topic of Miss Gwilt for the first time. “Is there no other way to protect Miss Milroy besides the method you mentioned?” he asked, feeling uneasy.
“Do you think the major would listen to you, sir, if you spoke to him?” asked Pedgift Senior, sarcastically. “I’m rather afraid he wouldn’t honor me with his attention. Or perhaps you would prefer alarming Miss Neelie by telling her in plain words that we both think her in danger? Or, suppose you send me to Miss Gwilt, with instructions to inform her that she has done her pupil a cruel injustice? Women are so proverbially ready to listen to reason; and they are so universally disposed to alter their opinions of each other on application—especially when one woman thinks that another woman has destroyed her prospect of making a good marriage. Don’t mind me, Mr. Armadale; I’m only a lawyer, and I can sit waterproof under another shower of Miss Gwilt’s tears!”
“Do you think the major would actually pay attention to you, sir, if you talked to him?” asked Pedgift Senior, sarcastically. “I’m afraid he wouldn’t give me the time of day. Or would you rather worry Miss Neelie by bluntly telling her that we both think she’s in danger? Or, how about you send me to Miss Gwilt with the task of telling her that she has been unfair to her student? Women are so famously open to reason; and they are so quick to change their opinions of each other when asked—especially when one woman feels that another has ruined her chances of a good marriage. Don’t mind me, Mr. Armadale; I’m just a lawyer, and I can certainly withstand another downpour of Miss Gwilt’s tears!”
“Damn it, Mr. Pedgift, tell me in plain words what you want to do!” cried Allan, losing his temper at last.
“Damn it, Mr. Pedgift, just tell me straight up what you want to do!” Allan yelled, finally losing his temper.
“In plain words, Mr. Armadale, I want to keep Miss Gwilt’s proceedings privately under view, as long as she stops in this neighborhood. I answer for finding a person who will look after her delicately and discreetly. And I agree to discontinue even this harmless superintendence of her actions, if there isn’t good reasons shown for continuing it, to your entire satisfaction, in a week’s time. I make that moderate proposal, sir, in what I sincerely believe to be Miss Milroy’s interest, and I wait your answer, Yes or No.”
“In plain terms, Mr. Armadale, I want to keep an eye on Miss Gwilt’s activities privately as long as she’s in this area. I can find someone who will take care of her discreetly and sensitively. I’m also willing to stop this harmless oversight of her actions if there are no solid reasons shown for continuing it, to your complete satisfaction, within a week. I make this reasonable offer, sir, because I genuinely believe it’s in Miss Milroy’s best interest, and I await your response, Yes or No.”
“Can’t I have time to consider?” asked Allan, driven to the last helpless expedient of taking refuge in delay.
“Can’t I have some time to think?” Allan asked, feeling like he had no choice but to stall for a little longer.
“Certainly, Mr. Armadale. But don’t forget, while you are considering, that Miss Milroy is in the habit of walking out alone in your park, innocent of all apprehension of danger, and that Miss Gwilt is perfectly free to take any advantage of that circumstance that Miss Gwilt pleases.”
“Of course, Mr. Armadale. But keep in mind, as you think about this, that Miss Milroy often walks alone in your park, completely unaware of any danger, and that Miss Gwilt is fully allowed to take any advantage of that situation as she sees fit.”
“Do as you like!” exclaimed Allan, in despair. “And, for God’s sake, don’t torment me any longer!”
“Do whatever you want!” Allan shouted, in despair. “And, for God’s sake, don’t torture me any longer!”
Popular prejudice may deny it, but the profession of the law is a practically Christian profession in one respect at least. Of all the large collection of ready answers lying in wait for mankind on a lawyer’s lips, none is kept in better working order than “the soft answer which turneth away wrath.” Pedgift Senior rose with the alacrity of youth in his legs, and the wise moderation of age on his tongue. “Many thanks, sir,” he said, “for the attention you have bestowed on me. I congratulate you on your decision, and I wish you good-evening.” This time his indicative snuff-box was not in his hand when he opened the door, and he actually disappeared without coming back for a second postscript.
Popular opinion might disagree, but the legal profession is, in at least one way, quite a Christian one. Of all the quick responses a lawyer has ready to go, none is more effective than “a gentle answer cools anger.” Pedgift Senior got up with the energy of youth and the wise restraint of age. “Thank you very much, sir,” he said, “for the attention you've given me. I congratulate you on your choice, and I wish you a good evening.” This time, he didn’t have his usual snuff-box in hand when he opened the door, and he actually left without coming back for a last-minute comment.
Allan’s head sank on his breast when he was left alone. “If it was only the end of the week!” he thought, longingly. “If I only had Midwinter back again!”
Allan’s head drooped onto his chest when he was left alone. “If only it were the end of the week!” he thought, wishing. “If I could just have Midwinter back again!”
As that aspiration escaped the client’s lips, the lawyer got gayly into his gig. “Hie away, old girl!” cried Pedgift Senior, patting the fast-trotting mare with the end of his whip. “I never keep a lady waiting—and I’ve got business to-night with one of your own sex!”
As that desire slipped from the client's lips, the lawyer cheerfully climbed into his carriage. “Off we go, old girl!” shouted Pedgift Senior, giving the fast-trotting mare a gentle tap with his whip. “I never keep a lady waiting—and I have plans tonight with someone of your own kind!”
VII. THE MARTYRDOM OF MISS GWILT.
The outskirts of the little town of Thorpe Ambrose, on the side nearest to “the great house,” have earned some local celebrity as exhibiting the prettiest suburb of the kind to be found in East Norfolk. Here the villas and gardens are for the most part built and laid out in excellent taste, the trees are in the prime of their growth, and the healthy common beyond the houses rises and falls in picturesque and delightful variety of broken ground. The rank, fashion, and beauty of the town make this place their evening promenade; and when a stranger goes out for a drive, if he leaves it to the coachman, the coachman starts by way of the common as a matter of course.
The outskirts of the small town of Thorpe Ambrose, closest to “the great house,” have gained some local fame for being the prettiest suburb in East Norfolk. Here, the villas and gardens are generally designed and arranged with great taste, the trees are flourishing, and the healthy common beyond the houses undulates in a picturesque and charming mix of landscape. The town's elite and beautiful often stroll here in the evenings, and when a visitor goes out for a drive, the coachman naturally takes the route through the common.
On the opposite side, that is to say, on the side furthest from “the great house,” the suburbs (in the year 1851) were universally regarded as a sore subject by all persons zealous for the reputation of the town.
On the other side, meaning the side farthest from "the great house," the suburbs (in the year 1851) were seen as a sensitive topic by everyone concerned about the town's reputation.
Here nature was uninviting, man was poor, and social progress, as exhibited under the form of building, halted miserably. The streets dwindled feebly, as they receded from the center of the town, into smaller and smaller houses, and died away on the barren open ground into an atrophy of skeleton cottages. Builders hereabouts appeared to have universally abandoned their work in the first stage of its creation. Land-holders set up poles on lost patches of ground, and, plaintively advertising that they were to let for building, raised sickly little crops meanwhile, in despair of finding a purchaser to deal with them. All the waste paper of the town seemed to float congenially to this neglected spot; and all the fretful children came and cried here, in charge of all the slatternly nurses who disgraced the place. If there was any intention in Thorpe Ambrose of sending a worn-out horse to the knacker’s, that horse was sure to be found waiting his doom in a field on this side of the town. No growth flourished in these desert regions but the arid growth of rubbish; and no creatures rejoiced but the creatures of the night—the vermin here and there in the beds, and the cats everywhere on the tiles.
Here, nature was unwelcoming, people were struggling, and social progress, shown through construction, stagnated terribly. The streets faded weakly as they moved away from the town center, leading to smaller and smaller houses, eventually trailing off into barren land filled with decaying cottages. Builders around here seemed to have universally given up on their projects before they even fully started. Landowners put up poles in abandoned patches of land, hopelessly advertising them for rent while growing meager crops in a desperate bid to find a buyer. All the trash from the town seemed to find its way to this neglected area, and all the restless children came here to cry, attended by careless nurses who disgraced the place. If there was any plan in Thorpe Ambrose to send a worn-out horse to the knacker, that horse would definitely be found waiting for its fate in a field on this side of town. Nothing thrived in these barren lands except the dry growth of garbage; and the only creatures that took joy in this place were the ones of the night—the pests scattered in the beds and the cats lurking everywhere on the rooftops.
The sun had set, and the summer twilight was darkening. The fretful children were crying in their cradles; the horse destined for the knacker dozed forlorn in the field of his imprisonment; the cats waited stealthily in corners for the coming night. But one living figure appeared in the lonely suburb—the figure of Mr. Bashwood. But one faint sound disturbed the dreadful silence—the sound of Mr. Bashwood’s softly stepping feet.
The sun had gone down, and the summer twilight was getting darker. The restless kids were crying in their cribs; the horse meant for slaughter was dozing sadly in the field where he was trapped; the cats were stealthily waiting in the corners for nighttime. But one person was visible in the lonely neighborhood—the figure of Mr. Bashwood. However, one faint sound broke the eerie silence—the sound of Mr. Bashwood’s quiet footsteps.
Moving slowly past the heaps of bricks rising at intervals along the road, coasting carefully round the old iron and the broken tiles scattered here and there in his path, Mr. Bashwood advanced from the direction of the country toward one of the unfinished streets of the suburb. His personal appearance had been apparently made the object of some special attention. His false teeth were brilliantly white; his wig was carefully brushed; his mourning garments, renewed throughout, gleamed with the hideous and slimy gloss of cheap black cloth. He moved with a nervous jauntiness, and looked about him with a vacant smile. Having reached the first of the skeleton cottages, his watery eyes settled steadily for the first time on the view of the street before him. The next instant he started; his breath quickened; he leaned, trembling and flushing, against the unfinished wall at his side. A lady, still at some distance, was advancing toward him down the length of the street. “She’s coming!” he whispered, with a strange mixture of rapture and fear, of alternating color and paleness, showing itself in his haggard face. “I wish I was the ground she treads on! I wish I was the glove she’s got on her hand!” He burst ecstatically into those extravagant words, with a concentrated intensity of delight in uttering them that actually shook his feeble figure from head to foot.
Moving slowly past the piles of bricks scattered along the road, carefully navigating around the old iron and broken tiles in his way, Mr. Bashwood made his way from the countryside towards one of the unfinished streets in the suburb. His appearance seemed to have received some special attention. His false teeth were dazzlingly white; his wig was neatly styled; his mourning clothes, freshly updated, shone with the cheap and shiny gloss of low-quality black fabric. He moved with a nervous energy and looked around with a vacant smile. When he reached the first of the half-built cottages, his watery eyes focused steadily for the first time on the view of the street ahead. The next moment, he jumped; his breathing quickened; he leaned, trembling and blushing, against the unfinished wall beside him. A lady, still some distance away, was walking towards him down the street. “She’s coming!” he whispered, with a strange mix of joy and fear, his haggard face showing alternating flushes of color and paleness. “I wish I was the ground she walks on! I wish I was the glove she’s wearing!” He exclaimed these extravagant words with an overwhelming intensity of delight that nearly shook his frail body from head to toe.
Smoothly and gracefully the lady glided nearer and nearer, until she revealed to Mr. Bashwood’s eyes, what Mr. Bashwood’s instincts had recognized in the first instance—the face of Miss Gwilt.
Smoothly and gracefully, the lady glided closer and closer, until she revealed to Mr. Bashwood what his instincts had initially recognized—the face of Miss Gwilt.
She was dressed with an exquisitely expressive economy of outlay. The plainest straw bonnet procurable, trimmed sparingly with the cheapest white ribbon, was on her head. Modest and tasteful poverty expressed itself in the speckless cleanliness and the modestly proportioned skirts of her light “print” gown, and in the scanty little mantilla of cheap black silk which she wore over it, edged with a simple frilling of the same material. The luster of her terrible red hair showed itself unshrinkingly in a plaited coronet above her forehead, and escaped in one vagrant love-lock, perfectly curled, that dropped over her left shoulder. Her gloves, fitting her like a second skin, were of the sober brown hue which is slowest to show signs of use. One hand lifted her dress daintily above the impurities of the road; the other held a little nosegay of the commonest garden flowers. Noiselessly and smoothly she came on, with a gentle and regular undulation of the print gown; with the love-lock softly lifted from moment to moment in the evening breeze; with her head a little drooped, and her eyes on the ground—in walk, and look, and manner, in every casual movement that escaped her, expressing that subtle mixture of the voluptuous and the modest which, of the many attractive extremes that meet in women, is in a man’s eyes the most irresistible of all.
She was dressed with an elegantly simple style. The plainest straw bonnet she could find, trimmed sparingly with the cheapest white ribbon, sat on her head. Modest and tasteful poverty showed in the spotless cleanliness and well-proportioned skirts of her light “print” dress, and in the small, cheap black silk shawl she wore over it, edged with a simple frill of the same material. The shine of her bright red hair was unabashed in a plaited crown above her forehead, with a single loose curl perfectly shaped, falling over her left shoulder. Her gloves, fitting her like a second skin, were a muted brown that doesn't show wear easily. One hand lifted her dress gently above the dirt of the road while the other held a little nosegay of the most common garden flowers. She moved silently and smoothly, with a gentle sway of the print dress; the loose curl lifted softly with the evening breeze; her head slightly bowed and her eyes on the ground—her walk, her look, her manner, and every casual movement expressed that delicate blend of seduction and modesty, which is, for many men, the most irresistible combination found in women.
“Mr. Bashwood!” she exclaimed, in loud, clear tones indicative of the utmost astonishment, “what a surprise to find you here! I thought none but the wretched inhabitants ever ventured near this side of the town. Hush!” she added quickly, in a whisper. “You heard right when you heard that Mr. Armadale was going to have me followed and watched. There’s a man behind one of the houses. We must talk out loud of indifferent things, and look as if we had met by accident. Ask me what I am doing. Out loud! Directly! You shall never see me again, if you don’t instantly leave off trembling and do what I tell you!”
“Mr. Bashwood!” she exclaimed, in loud, clear tones that showed her complete surprise, “what a shock to see you here! I thought only the unfortunate residents ever came to this side of town. Hush!” she added quickly, in a whisper. “You heard correctly when you found out that Mr. Armadale was going to have me followed and monitored. There’s a guy behind one of the houses. We need to talk about unimportant things and act like we just bumped into each other. Ask me what I’m doing. Out loud! Right now! You won’t ever see me again if you don’t stop trembling and do what I say immediately!”
She spoke with a merciless tyranny of eye and voice—with a merciless use of her power over the feeble creature whom she addressed. Mr. Bashwood obeyed her in tones that quavered with agitation, and with eyes that devoured her beauty in a strange fascination of terror and delight.
She spoke with an unyielding authority in her gaze and voice—exerting her power over the fragile person she was addressing. Mr. Bashwood obeyed her, his voice trembling with nervousness, and his eyes consumed her beauty in a strange mix of fear and admiration.
“I am trying to earn a little money by teaching music,” she said, in the voice intended to reach the spy’s ears. “If you are able to recommend me any pupils, Mr. Bashwood, your good word will oblige me. Have you been in the grounds to-day?” she went on, dropping her voice again in a whisper. “Has Mr. Armadale been near the cottage? Has Miss Milroy been out of the garden? No? Are you sure? Look out for them to-morrow, and next day, and next day. They are certain to meet and make it up again, and I must and will know of it. Hush! Ask me my terms for teaching music. What are you frightened about? It’s me the man’s after—not you. Louder than when you asked me what I was doing, just now; louder, or I won’t trust you any more; I’ll go to somebody else!”
“I’m trying to make a little money by teaching music,” she said, in a tone meant for the spy to hear. “If you can recommend any students to me, Mr. Bashwood, I’d really appreciate it. Have you been on the grounds today?” she continued, lowering her voice to a whisper again. “Has Mr. Armadale been near the cottage? Has Miss Milroy left the garden? No? Are you sure? Keep an eye out for them tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. They’re bound to run into each other and reconcile, and I need to know about it. Shh! Ask me what I charge for music lessons. What are you so nervous about? It's me he's interested in—not you. Speak louder than when you just asked what I was doing; louder, or I won’t trust you anymore; I’ll find someone else!”
Once more Mr. Bashwood obeyed. “Don’t be angry with me,” he murmured, faintly, when he had spoken the necessary words. “My heart beats so you’ll kill me!”
Once again, Mr. Bashwood complied. “Please don’t be mad at me,” he whispered softly after saying what he needed to say. “My heart is racing; it feels like you’ll kill me!”
“You poor old dear!” she whispered back, with a sudden change in her manner, with an easy satirical tenderness. “What business have you with a heart at your age? Be here to-morrow at the same time, and tell me what you have seen in the grounds. My terms are only five shillings a lesson,” she went on, in her louder tone. “I’m sure that’s not much, Mr. Bashwood; I give such long lessons, and I get all my pupils’ music half-price.” She suddenly dropped her voice again, and looked him brightly into instant subjection. “Don’t let Mr. Armadale out of your sight to-morrow! If that girl manages to speak to him, and if I don’t hear of it, I’ll frighten you to death. If I do hear of it, I’ll kiss you! Hush! Wish me good-night, and go on to the town, and leave me to go the other way. I don’t want you—I’m not afraid of the man behind the houses; I can deal with him by myself. Say goodnight, and I’ll let you shake hands. Say it louder, and I’ll give you one of my flowers, if you’ll promise not to fall in love with it.” She raised her voice again. “Goodnight, Mr. Bashwood! Don’t forget my terms. Five shillings a lesson, and the lessons last an hour at a time, and I get all my pupils’ music half-price, which is an immense advantage, isn’t it?” She slipped a flower into his hand—frowned him into obedience, and smiled to reward him for obeying, at the same moment—lifted her dress again above the impurities of the road—and went on her way with a dainty and indolent deliberation, as a cat goes on her way when she has exhausted the enjoyment of frightening a mouse.
“You poor old thing!” she whispered back, suddenly shifting her tone to a lightly teasing tenderness. “What do you need a heart for at your age? Be here tomorrow at the same time and tell me what you saw in the grounds. My rates are just five shillings a lesson,” she continued in a louder voice. “That’s not much, Mr. Bashwood; I give really long lessons, and I get all my students’ music at half price.” Then she dropped her voice again, looking at him brightly to make him submit. “Don’t let Mr. Armadale out of your sight tomorrow! If that girl manages to talk to him, and I don’t hear about it, I’ll scare you to death. If I do hear about it, I’ll kiss you! Hush! Wish me goodnight, then head into town, and let me go the other way. I don’t need you—I’m not scared of the guy behind the houses; I can handle him on my own. Say goodnight, and I’ll let you shake hands. Say it louder, and I’ll give you one of my flowers, if you promise not to fall in love with it.” She raised her voice again. “Goodnight, Mr. Bashwood! Don’t forget my rates. Five shillings a lesson, and each lesson lasts an hour, plus I get all my students’ music at half price, which is a huge benefit, right?” She slipped a flower into his hand—frowned at him to make him obey, and smiled to reward him for it at the same time—lifted her dress above the dirt of the road—and continued on her way with a delicate and leisurely pace, like a cat after it has tired of scaring a mouse.
Left alone, Mr. Bashwood turned to the low cottage wall near which he had been standing, and, resting himself on it wearily, looked at the flower in his hand.
Left alone, Mr. Bashwood turned to the low cottage wall where he had been standing and, wearily resting on it, looked at the flower in his hand.
His past existence had disciplined him to bear disaster and insult, as few happier men could have borne them; but it had not prepared him to feel the master-passion of humanity, for the first time, at the dreary end of his life, in the hopeless decay of a manhood that had withered under the double blight of conjugal disappointment and parental sorrow. “Oh, if I was only young again!” murmured the poor wretch, resting his arms on the wall and touching the flower with his dry, fevered lips in a stealthy rapture of tenderness. “She might have liked me when I was twenty!” He suddenly started back into an erect position, and stared about him in vacant bewilderment and terror. “She told me to go home,” he said, with a startled look. “Why am I stopping here?” He turned, and hurried on to the town—in such dread of her anger, if she looked round and saw him, that he never so much as ventured on a backward glance at the road by which she had retired, and never detected the spy dogging her footsteps, under cover of the empty houses and the brick-heaps by the roadside.
His past had toughened him to handle disaster and insults better than most happy people could. But it hadn’t prepared him to experience the deep passion of being human for the first time, at the bleak end of his life, in the hopeless decline of a manhood that had withered under the dual weight of marital disappointment and parental grief. “Oh, if only I were young again!” the poor soul murmured, resting his arms on the wall and touching the flower with his dry, feverish lips in a secret moment of tenderness. “She might have liked me when I was twenty!” He suddenly straightened up and looked around in confused amazement and fear. “She told me to go home,” he said, startled. “Why am I still here?” He turned and rushed toward the town, so afraid of her anger if she glanced back and saw him that he didn’t even dare to look back at the road she had taken, unaware of the watcher following her footsteps, hidden by the vacant houses and the piles of bricks by the roadside.
Smoothly and gracefully, carefully preserving the speckless integrity of her dress, never hastening her pace, and never looking aside to the right hand or the left, Miss Gwilt pursued her way toward the open country. The suburban road branched off at its end in two directions. On the left, the path wound through a ragged little coppice to the grazing grounds of a neighboring farm; on the right, it led across a hillock of waste land to the high-road. Stopping a moment to consider, but not showing the spy that she suspected him by glancing behind her while there was a hiding-place within his reach, Miss Gwilt took the path across the hillock. “I’ll catch him there,” she said to herself, looking up quietly at the long straight line of the empty high-road.
Smoothly and gracefully, carefully keeping her dress spotless, never speeding up or looking to the right or left, Miss Gwilt continued her way toward the open countryside. The suburban road split at its end into two directions. On the left, the path twisted through a messy little thicket to the grazing fields of a nearby farm; on the right, it led over a mound of barren land to the main road. Pausing for a moment to think, but not giving away that she suspected the watcher by glancing back while there was a hiding spot nearby, Miss Gwilt chose the path over the mound. “I’ll catch him there,” she said to herself, quietly looking up at the long, straight line of the empty main road.
Once on the ground that she had chosen for her purpose, she met the difficulties of the position with perfect tact and self-possession. After walking some thirty yards along the road, she let her nosegay drop, half turned round in stooping to pick it up, saw the man stopping at the same moment behind her, and instantly went on again, quickening her pace little by little, until she was walking at the top of her speed. The spy fell into the snare laid for him. Seeing the night coming, and fearing that he might lose sight of her in the darkness, he rapidly lessened the distance between them. Miss Gwilt went on faster and faster till she plainly heard his footstep behind her, then stopped, turned, and met the man face to face the next moment.
Once she reached the spot she had picked for her plan, she handled the situation with complete poise and composure. After walking about thirty yards down the road, she let her bouquet fall, bent down to pick it up, noticed the man stopping right behind her at the same moment, and quickly continued on, gradually increasing her pace until she was walking as fast as she could. The spy walked right into the trap set for him. With night falling and worried that he might lose her in the dark, he hurried to close the gap between them. Miss Gwilt picked up speed until she could clearly hear his footsteps behind her, then stopped, turned around, and found herself face to face with the man an instant later.
“My compliments to Mr. Armadale,” she said, “and tell him I’ve caught you watching me.”
“My compliments to Mr. Armadale,” she said, “and let him know that I’ve seen you watching me.”
“I’m not watching you, miss,” retorted the spy, thrown off his guard by the daring plainness of the language in which she had spoken to him.
“I’m not watching you, miss,” replied the spy, caught off guard by the bold simplicity of her words.
Miss Gwilt’s eyes measured him contemptuously from head to foot. He was a weakly, undersized man. She was the taller, and (quite possibly) the stronger of the two.
Miss Gwilt's eyes looked him up and down with disdain. He was a frail, small man. She was taller and (most likely) stronger than him.
“Take your hat off, you blackguard, when you speak to a lady,” she said, and tossed his hat in an instant, across a ditch by which they were standing, into a pool on the other side.
“Take your hat off, you scoundrel, when you talk to a lady,” she said, and in an instant, she tossed his hat across a ditch they were standing by, into a puddle on the other side.
This time the spy was on his guard. He knew as well as Miss Gwilt knew the use which might be made of the precious minutes, if he turned his back on her and crossed the ditch to recover his hat. “It’s well for you you’re a woman,” he said, standing scowling at her bareheaded in the fast-darkening light.
This time the spy was cautious. He understood just as well as Miss Gwilt did how valuable those precious minutes could be if he turned his back on her and crossed the ditch to get his hat. “You’re lucky you’re a woman,” he said, scowling at her without her hat in the quickly fading light.
Miss Gwilt glanced sidelong down the onward vista of the road, and saw, through the gathering obscurity, the solitary figure of a man rapidly advancing toward her. Some women would have noticed the approach of a stranger at that hour and in that lonely place with a certain anxiety. Miss Gwilt was too confident in her own powers of persuasion not to count on the man’s assistance beforehand, whoever he might be, because he was a man. She looked back at the spy with redoubled confidence in herself, and measured him contemptuously from head to foot for the second time.
Miss Gwilt glanced sideways down the road ahead and saw, through the growing darkness, the lone figure of a man quickly walking toward her. Some women might have felt anxious about a stranger approaching at that hour and in such a secluded spot. However, Miss Gwilt was too sure of her own charm to doubt that the man would help her, whoever he was, simply because he was a man. She looked back at the observer with renewed confidence in herself and scrutinized him with disdain from head to toe for the second time.
“I wonder whether I’m strong enough to throw you after your hat?” she said. “I’ll take a turn and consider it.”
“I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to throw you your hat,” she said. “I’ll think about it for a moment.”
She sauntered on a few steps toward the figure advancing along the road. The spy followed her close. “Try it,” he said, brutally. “You’re a fine woman; you’re welcome to put your arms round me if you like.” As the words escaped him, he too saw the stranger for the first time. He drew back a step and waited. Miss Gwilt, on her side, advanced a step and waited, too.
She walked a few steps closer to the person coming down the road. The spy trailed her closely. “Go ahead,” he said harshly. “You’re a beautiful woman; you can wrap your arms around me if you want.” As he spoke, he noticed the stranger for the first time. He stepped back and paused. Miss Gwilt, on her part, stepped forward and also paused.
The stranger came on, with the lithe, light step of a practiced walker, swinging a stick in his hand and carrying a knapsack on his shoulders. A few paces nearer, and his face became visible. He was a dark man, his black hair was powdered with dust, and his black eyes were looking steadfastly forward along the road before him.
The stranger approached with the agile, effortless stride of someone used to walking, swinging a stick in one hand and carrying a backpack on his shoulders. A few steps closer, and his face came into view. He was a dark-skinned man, his black hair dusted with dirt, and his black eyes were fixed steadily ahead on the road.
Miss Gwilt advanced with the first signs of agitation she had shown yet. “Is it possible?” she said, softly. “Can it really be you?”
Miss Gwilt moved forward, showing the first signs of agitation she'd displayed so far. “Is it possible?” she asked quietly. “Can it really be you?”
It was Midwinter, on his way back to Thorpe Ambrose, after his fortnight among the Yorkshire moors.
It was midwinter, on his way back to Thorpe Ambrose, after his two weeks in the Yorkshire moors.
He stopped and looked at her, in breathless surprise. The image of the woman had been in his thoughts, at the moment when the woman herself spoke to him. “Miss Gwilt!” he exclaimed, and mechanically held out his hand.
He stopped and looked at her, completely surprised. The image of the woman had been on his mind just as she spoke to him. “Miss Gwilt!” he exclaimed, automatically reaching out his hand.
She took it, and pressed it gently. “I should have been glad to see you at any time,” she said. “You don’t know how glad I am to see you now. May I trouble you to speak to that man? He has been following me, and annoying me all the way from the town.”
She took it and squeezed it gently. “I would have been happy to see you anytime,” she said. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you now. Could you please talk to that guy? He’s been following me and bothering me all the way from town.”
Midwinter stepped past her without uttering a word. Faint as the light was, the spy saw what was coming in his face, and, turning instantly, leaped the ditch by the road-side. Before Midwinter could follow, Miss Gwilt’s hand was on his shoulder.
Midwinter walked past her without saying anything. As dim as the light was, the spy noticed the look on his face and quickly turned to jump over the ditch by the roadside. Before Midwinter could catch up, Miss Gwilt's hand was on his shoulder.
“No,” she said, “you don’t know who his employer is.”
“No,” she said, “you don’t know who he works for.”
Midwinter stopped and looked at her.
Midwinter stopped and looked at her.
“Strange things have happened since you left us,” she went on. “I have been forced to give up my situation, and I am followed and watched by a paid spy. Don’t ask who forced me out of my situation, and who pays the spy—at least not just yet. I can’t make up my mind to tell you till I am a little more composed. Let the wretch go. Do you mind seeing me safe back to my lodging? It’s in your way home. May I—may I ask for the support of your arm? My little stock of courage is quite exhausted.” She took his arm and clung close to it. The woman who had tyrannized over Mr. Bashwood was gone, and the woman who had tossed the spy’s hat into the pool was gone. A timid, shrinking, interesting creature filled the fair skin and trembled on the symmetrical limbs of Miss Gwilt. She put her handkerchief to her eyes. “They say necessity has no law,” she murmured, faintly. “I am treating you like an old friend. God knows I want one!”
“Strange things have happened since you left us,” she continued. “I’ve had to quit my job, and I’m being followed and watched by a paid spy. Don’t ask who pushed me out of my job or who pays the spy—at least not yet. I can’t bring myself to tell you until I’m a bit more composed. Let the wretch go. Do you mind walking me back to my place? It’s on your way home. Can I—can I ask for your arm for support? My little bit of courage is completely gone.” She took his arm and held it tightly. The woman who had dominated Mr. Bashwood was gone, and the woman who had thrown the spy’s hat into the pool was gone. A timid, shrinking, interesting person filled the fair skin and trembled on the graceful limbs of Miss Gwilt. She pressed her handkerchief to her eyes. “They say necessity has no law,” she murmured softly. “I’m treating you like an old friend. God knows I need one!”
They went on toward the town. She recovered herself with a touching fortitude; she put her handkerchief back in her pocket, and persisted in turning the conversation on Midwinter’s walking tour. “It is bad enough to be a burden on you,” she said, gently pressing on his arm as she spoke; “I mustn’t distress you as well. Tell me where you have been, and what you have seen. Interest me in your journey; help me to escape from myself.”
They continued on towards the town. She composed herself with impressive strength; she tucked her handkerchief back in her pocket and kept steering the conversation toward Midwinter’s walking tour. “It’s tough enough to be a burden on you,” she said, softly squeezing his arm as she spoke; “I shouldn’t upset you too. Tell me where you’ve been and what you’ve seen. Make me interested in your journey; help me take my mind off myself.”
They reached the modest little lodging in the miserable little suburb. Miss Gwilt sighed, and removed her glove before she took Midwinter’s hand. “I have taken refuge here,” she said, simply. “It is clean and quiet; I am too poor to want or expect more. We must say good-by, I suppose, unless”—she hesitated modestly, and satisfied herself by a quick look round that they were unobserved—“unless you would like to come in and rest a little? I feel so gratefully toward you, Mr. Midwinter! Is there any harm, do you think, in my offering you a cup of tea?”
They arrived at the small, humble place in the rundown suburb. Miss Gwilt sighed and took off her glove before shaking Midwinter’s hand. “I’ve found shelter here,” she said simply. “It’s clean and quiet; I’m too broke to want or expect anything more. I guess we have to say goodbye, unless”—she hesitated shyly and quickly glanced around to make sure they were alone—“unless you’d like to come in and rest for a bit? I feel so grateful to you, Mr. Midwinter! Do you think there’s any harm in me offering you a cup of tea?”
The magnetic influence of her touch was thrilling through him while she spoke. Change and absence, to which he had trusted to weaken her hold on him, had treacherously strengthened it instead. A man exceptionally sensitive, a man exceptionally pure in his past life, he stood hand in hand, in the tempting secrecy of the night, with the first woman who had exercised over him the all-absorbing influence of her sex. At his age, and in his position, who could have left her? The man (with a man’s temperament) doesn’t live who could have left her. Midwinter went in.
The electric feel of her touch sent thrilling sensations through him as she spoke. The passage of time and her absence, which he had hoped would weaken her grip on him, had instead made it stronger. He was an exceptionally sensitive man, pure in heart from his past, standing hand in hand in the alluring cover of night with the first woman to have captivated him completely. At his age and in his situation, who could possibly walk away from her? No man with a man's temperament could have left her. Midwinter went inside.
A stupid, sleepy lad opened the house door. Even he, being a male creature, brightened under the influence of Miss Gwilt. “The urn, John,” she said, kindly, “and another cup and saucer. I’ll borrow your candle to light my candles upstairs, and then I won’t trouble you any more to-night.” John was wakeful and active in an instant. “No trouble, miss,” he said, with awkward civility. Miss Gwilt took his candle with a smile. “How good people are to me!” she whispered, innocently, to Midwinter, as she led the way upstairs to the little drawing-room on the first floor.
A dopey, sleepy guy opened the front door. Even he, being a guy, perked up in Miss Gwilt's presence. “The urn, John,” she said kindly, “and another cup and saucer. I’ll borrow your candle to light my candles upstairs, and then I won’t bother you anymore tonight.” John was suddenly alert and active. “No trouble at all, miss,” he said, awkwardly polite. Miss Gwilt took his candle with a smile. “How nice people are to me!” she whispered sweetly to Midwinter as she led the way upstairs to the little drawing-room on the first floor.
She lit the candles, and, turning quickly on her guest, stopped him at the first attempt he made to remove the knapsack from his shoulders. “No,” she said, gently; “in the good old times there were occasions when the ladies unarmed their knights. I claim the privilege of unarming my knight.” Her dexterous fingers intercepted his at the straps and buckles, and she had the dusty knapsack off, before he could protest against her touching it.
She lit the candles and quickly turned to her guest, stopping him as he tried to take off the knapsack from his shoulders. “No,” she said softly; “back in the good old days, there were times when ladies helped unarm their knights. I want to take the privilege of unarming my knight.” Her nimble fingers caught his as he reached for the straps and buckles, and she had the dusty knapsack off before he could protest her touching it.
They sat down at the one little table in the room. It was very poorly furnished; but there was something of the dainty neatness of the woman who inhabited it in the arrangement of the few poor ornaments on the chimney-piece, in the one or two prettily bound volumes on the chiffonier, in the flowers on the table, and the modest little work-basket in the window. “Women are not all coquettes,” she said, as she took off her bonnet and mantilla, and laid them carefully on a chair. “I won’t go into my room, and look in my glass, and make myself smart; you shall take me just as I am.” Her hands moved about among the tea-things with a smooth, noiseless activity.
They sat down at the only small table in the room. The furniture was sparse, but there was a touch of the delicate neatness of the woman living there in the arrangement of the few simple decorations on the mantelpiece, the one or two nicely bound books on the dresser, the flowers on the table, and the small, tidy work-basket in the window. “Not all women are flirts,” she said, as she took off her hat and shawl, placing them carefully on a chair. “I won’t go to my room, check myself in the mirror, and fix up; you can take me just as I am.” Her hands moved gracefully among the tea things with a smooth, quiet efficiency.
Her magnificent hair flashed crimson in the candle-light, as she turned her head hither and thither, searching with an easy grace for the things she wanted in the tray. Exercise had heightened the brilliancy of her complexion, and had quickened the rapid alternations of expression in her eyes—the delicious languor that stole over them when she was listening or thinking, the bright intelligence that flashed from them softly when she spoke. In the lightest word she said, in the least thing she did, there was something that gently solicited the heart of the man who sat with her. Perfectly modest in her manner, possessed to perfection of the graceful restraints and refinements of a lady, she had all the allurements that feast the eye, all the siren invitations that seduce the sense—a subtle suggestiveness in her silence, and a sexual sorcery in her smile.
Her stunning hair glowed red in the candlelight as she turned her head this way and that, gracefully searching for the things she wanted in the tray. Exercise had enhanced the radiance of her complexion and quickened the rapid shifts of expression in her eyes—the delicious softness that came over them when she was listening or thinking, the bright intelligence that softly shone through when she spoke. In every light word she uttered, in everything she did, there was something that gently drew in the heart of the man sitting with her. Perfectly modest in her demeanor, fully embodying the graceful restraint and refinement of a lady, she possessed all the allurements that pleasured the eye, all the enchanting invitations that captivated the senses—a subtle suggestiveness in her silence, and a seductive magic in her smile.
“Should I be wrong,” she asked, suddenly suspending the conversation which she had thus far persistently restricted to the subject of Midwinter’s walking tour, “if I guessed that you have something on your mind—something which neither my tea nor my talk can charm away? Are men as curious as women? Is the something—Me?”
“Am I mistaken,” she asked, abruptly pausing the conversation that she had so far consistently kept focused on Midwinter’s walking tour, “if I guessed that you have something on your mind—something that neither my tea nor my conversation can distract you from? Are men as curious as women? Is the something—Me?”
Midwinter struggled against the fascination of looking at her and listening to her. “I am very anxious to hear what has happened since I have been away,” he said. “But I am still more anxious, Miss Gwilt, not to distress you by speaking of a painful subject.”
Midwinter fought against the urge to look at her and listen to her. “I really want to know what’s happened while I’ve been gone,” he said. “But I’m even more concerned, Miss Gwilt, about not upsetting you by bringing up a difficult topic.”
She looked at him gratefully. “It is for your sake that I have avoided the painful subject,” she said, toying with her spoon among the dregs in her empty cup. “But you will hear about it from others, if you don’t hear about it from me; and you ought to know why you found me in that strange situation, and why you see me here. Pray remember one thing, to begin with. I don’t blame your friend, Mr. Armadale. I blame the people whose instrument he is.”
She looked at him with appreciation. “I’ve avoided bringing up the painful topic for your sake,” she said, playing with her spoon in the bottom of her empty cup. “But you’ll hear about it from other people if I don’t tell you; and you deserve to know why you found me in that unusual situation and why you see me here now. Please remember one thing to start with: I don’t blame your friend, Mr. Armadale. I blame the people who are using him.”
Midwinter started. “Is it possible,” he began, “that Allan can be in any way answerable—?” He stopped, and looked at Miss Gwilt in silent astonishment.
Midwinter began, “Is it possible that Allan could be responsible—?” He paused and gazed at Miss Gwilt in silent disbelief.
She gently laid her hand on his. “Don’t be angry with me for only telling the truth,” she said. “Your friend is answerable for everything that has happened to me—innocently answerable, Mr. Midwinter, I firmly believe. We are both victims. He is the victim of his position as the richest single man in the neighborhood; and I am the victim of Miss Milroy’s determination to marry him.”
She softly placed her hand on his. “Don’t be mad at me for just speaking the truth,” she said. “Your friend is responsible for everything that’s happened to me—innocently responsible, Mr. Midwinter, I truly believe. We’re both victims. He is a victim of being the richest single guy in the area; and I’m a victim of Miss Milroy’s insistence on marrying him.”
“Miss Milroy?” repeated Midwinter, more and more astonished. “Why, Allan himself told me—” He stopped again.
“Miss Milroy?” repeated Midwinter, increasingly shocked. “But Allan himself told me—” He paused once more.
“He told you that I was the object of his admiration? Poor fellow, he admires everybody; his head is almost as empty as this,” said Miss Gwilt, smiling indicatively into the hollow of her cup. She dropped the spoon, sighed, and became serious again. “I am guilty of the vanity of having let him admire me,” she went on, penitently, “without the excuse of being able, on my side, to reciprocate even the passing interest that he felt in me. I don’t undervalue his many admirable qualities, or the excellent position he can offer to his wife. But a woman’s heart is not to be commanded—no, Mr. Midwinter, not even by the fortunate master of Thorpe Ambrose, who commands everything else.”
“He told you that I was the one he admired? Poor guy, he admires everyone; his head is almost as empty as this,” said Miss Gwilt, smiling as she looked into her cup. She dropped the spoon, sighed, and became serious again. “I’m guilty of the vanity of letting him admire me,” she continued, feeling remorseful, “without the excuse of being able to reciprocate even the slightest interest he had in me. I don’t underestimate his many admirable qualities or the excellent position he can offer his wife. But a woman’s heart can’t be commanded—no, Mr. Midwinter, not even by the lucky master of Thorpe Ambrose, who can command everything else.”
She looked him full in the face as she uttered that magnanimous sentiment. His eyes dropped before hers, and his dark color deepened. He had felt his heart leap in him at the declaration of her indifference to Allan. For the first time since they had known each other, his interests now stood self-revealed before him as openly adverse to the interests of his friend.
She looked him straight in the eye as she expressed that generous thought. His gaze fell before hers, and his skin flushed deeper. He felt his heart race at her claim of indifference towards Allan. For the first time since they had known each other, he realized that his feelings were now clearly in conflict with his friend's interests.
“I have been guilty of the vanity of letting Mr. Armadale admire me, and I have suffered for it,” resumed Miss Gwilt. “If there had been any confidence between my pupil and me, I might have easily satisfied her that she might become Mrs. Armadale—if she could—without having any rivalry to fear on my part. But Miss Milroy disliked and distrusted me from the first. She took her own jealous view, no doubt, of Mr. Armadale’s thoughtless attentions to me. It was her interest to destroy the position, such as it was, that I held in his estimation; and it is quite likely her mother assisted her. Mrs. Milroy had her motive also (which I am really ashamed to mention) for wishing to drive me out of the house. Anyhow, the conspiracy has succeeded. I have been forced (with Mr. Armadale’s help) to leave the major’s service. Don’t be angry, Mr. Midwinter! Don’t form a hasty opinion! I dare say Miss Milroy has some good qualities, though I have not found them out; and I assure you again and again that I don’t blame Mr. Armadale. I only blame the people whose instrument he is.”
“I’ve been vain by letting Mr. Armadale admire me, and I’ve paid for it,” Miss Gwilt continued. “If there had been any trust between my student and me, I could have easily shown her that she could become Mrs. Armadale—if she were able—without fearing any rivalry from me. But Miss Milroy disliked and distrusted me from the start. She surely came to her own jealous conclusions about Mr. Armadale’s thoughtless attention to me. It was in her interest to ruin whatever position I had in his eyes, and it's very possible her mother helped her. Mrs. Milroy had her own reasons (which I’m honestly embarrassed to mention) for wanting to push me out of the house. In any case, the plan has worked. I’ve been forced (with Mr. Armadale’s help) to leave the major’s service. Please don’t be angry, Mr. Midwinter! Don’t jump to conclusions! I’m sure Miss Milroy has some good qualities, even if I haven’t figured them out; and I assure you repeatedly that I don’t blame Mr. Armadale. I only blame the people who are using him.”
“How is he their instrument? How can he be the instrument of any enemy of yours?” asked Midwinter. “Pray excuse my anxiety, Miss Gwilt: Allan’s good name is as dear to me as my own!”
“How is he their tool? How can he be the tool of any enemy of yours?” asked Midwinter. “Please excuse my worry, Miss Gwilt: Allan’s good name is as important to me as my own!”
Miss Gwilt’s eyes turned full on him again, and Miss Gwilt’s heart abandoned itself innocently to an outburst of enthusiasm. “How I admire your earnestness!” she said. “How I like your anxiety for your friend! Oh, if women could only form such friendships! Oh you happy, happy men!” Her voice faltered, and her convenient tea-cup absorbed her for the third time. “I would give all the little beauty I possess,” she said, “if I could only find such a friend as Mr. Armadale has found in you. I never shall, Mr. Midwinter—I never shall. Let us go back to what we were talking about. I can only tell you how your friend is concerned in my misfortune by telling you something first about myself. I am like many other governesses; I am the victim of sad domestic circumstances. It may be weak of me, but I have a horror of alluding to them among strangers. My silence about my family and my friends exposes me to misinterpretation in my dependent position. Does it do me any harm, Mr. Midwinter, in your estimation?”
Miss Gwilt looked at him again, and her heart couldn't help but express her excitement. “I really admire how sincere you are!” she said. “I love how much you care for your friend! Oh, if only women could have such friendships! Oh, you lucky, lucky men!” Her voice trailed off, and she found herself absorbed in her tea for the third time. “I would give all the little beauty I have,” she said, “if I could find a friend like Mr. Armadale has found in you. I’ll never find that, Mr. Midwinter—I know I won’t. Let’s get back to what we were discussing. I can only let you know how your friend is connected to my misfortune by sharing a bit about myself first. I’m like many other governesses; I'm caught up in unfortunate family issues. It may seem weak, but I really dread talking about them with strangers. My silence about my family and friends leaves me open to misunderstanding in my dependent situation. Does it bother you at all, Mr. Midwinter?”
“God forbid!” said Midwinter, fervently. “There is no man living,” he went on, thinking of his own family story, “who has better reason to understand and respect your silence than I have.”
“God forbid!” Midwinter said passionately. “There’s no living man,” he continued, reflecting on his own family history, “who has a better reason to understand and respect your silence than I do.”
Miss Gwilt seized his hand impulsively. “Oh,” she said, “I knew it, the first moment I saw you! I knew that you, too, had suffered; that you, too, had sorrows which you kept sacred! Strange, strange sympathy! I believe in mesmerism—do you?” She suddenly recollected herself, and shuddered. “Oh, what have I done? What must you think of me?” she exclaimed, as he yielded to the magnetic fascination of her touch, and, forgetting everything but the hand that lay warm in his own, bent over it and kissed it. “Spare me!” she said, faintly, as she felt the burning touch of his lips. “I am so friendless—I am so completely at your mercy!”
Miss Gwilt grabbed his hand impulsively. “Oh,” she said, “I knew it the moment I saw you! I could tell that you’ve suffered too, that you have your own sorrows that you keep private! Such a strange, strange connection! I believe in mesmerism—do you?” She suddenly collected herself and shuddered. “Oh, what have I done? What must you think of me?” she exclaimed, as he gave in to the magnetic pull of her touch, and, forgetting everything except the warm hand in his, leaned over and kissed it. “Please, spare me!” she said weakly as she felt the heat of his lips. “I’m so alone—I’m completely at your mercy!”
He turned away from her, and hid his face in his hands; he was trembling, and she saw it. She looked at him while his face was hidden from her; she looked at him with a furtive interest and surprise. “How that man loves me!” she thought. “I wonder whether there was a time when I might have loved him?”
He turned away from her and buried his face in his hands; he was shaking, and she noticed. She watched him while his face was concealed from her; she looked at him with a curious interest and surprise. “How much that guy loves me!” she thought. “I wonder if there was ever a time when I could have loved him?”
The silence between them remained unbroken for some minutes. He had felt her appeal to his consideration as she had never expected or intended him to feel it—he shrank from looking at her or from speaking to her again.
The silence between them lasted for a few minutes. He sensed her plea for his understanding in a way she never expected or wanted him to—he hesitated to look at her or to speak to her again.
“Shall I go on with my story?” she asked. “Shall we forget and forgive on both sides?” A woman’s inveterate indulgence for every expression of a man’s admiration which keeps within the limits of personal respect curved her lips gently into a charming smile. She looked down meditatively at her dress, and brushed a crumb off her lap with a little flattering sigh. “I was telling you,” she went on, “of my reluctance to speak to strangers of my sad family story. It was in that way, as I afterward found out, that I laid myself open to Miss Milroy’s malice and Miss Milroy’s suspicion. Private inquiries about me were addressed to the lady who was my reference—at Miss Milroy’s suggestion, in the first instance, I have no doubt. I am sorry to say, this is not the worst of it. By some underhand means, of which I am quite ignorant, Mr. Armadale’s simplicity was imposed on; and, when application was made secretly to my reference in London, it was made, Mr. Midwinter, through your friend.”
“Should I continue with my story?” she asked. “Can we just forget and forgive on both sides?” A woman’s deep-seated fondness for any sign of a man’s admiration that stays respectful brought a gentle, charming smile to her lips. She looked down thoughtfully at her dress and brushed a crumb off her lap with a slight, flattering sigh. “I was telling you,” she continued, “about my hesitation to share my sad family history with strangers. It was this hesitation, as I later discovered, that made me vulnerable to Miss Milroy’s spite and suspicion. Private inquiries about me were sent to the woman who served as my reference—at Miss Milroy’s suggestion, I’m sure. I regret to say, this is not the worst of it. Through some underhanded means, of which I am completely unaware, Mr. Armadale was misled; and when inquiries were secretly made to my reference in London, they were directed, Mr. Midwinter, through your friend.”
Midwinter suddenly rose from his chair and looked at her. The fascination that she exercised over him, powerful as it was, became a suspended influence, now that the plain disclosure came plainly at last from her lips. He looked at her, and sat down again, like a man bewildered, without uttering a word.
Midwinter suddenly stood up from his chair and looked at her. The strong hold she had over him, as powerful as it was, turned into a paused effect now that her straightforward words finally came from her lips. He stared at her and then sat down again, like someone confused, without saying a word.
“Remember how weak he is,” pleaded Miss Gwilt, gently, “and make allowances for him as I do. The trifling accident of his failing to find my reference at the address given him seems, I can’t imagine why, to have excited Mr. Armadale’s suspicion. At any rate, he remained in London. What he did there, it is impossible for me to say. I was quite in the dark; I knew nothing: I distrusted nobody; I was as happy in my little round of duties as I could be with a pupil whose affections I had failed to win, when, one morning, to my indescribable astonishment, Major Milroy showed me a correspondence between Mr. Armadale and himself. He spoke to me in his wife’s presence. Poor creature, I make no complaint of her; such affliction as she suffers excuses everything. I wish I could give you some idea of the letters between Major Milroy and Mr. Armadale; but my head is only a woman’s head, and I was so confused and distressed at the time! All I can tell you is that Mr. Armadale chose to preserve silence about his proceedings in London, under circumstances which made that silence a reflection on my character. The major was most kind; his confidence in me remained unshaken; but could his confidence protect me against his wife’s prejudice and his daughter’s ill-will? Oh, the hardness of women to each other! Oh, the humiliation if men only knew some of us as we really are! What could I do? I couldn’t defend myself against mere imputations; and I couldn’t remain in my situation after a slur had been cast on me. My pride (Heaven help me, I was brought up like a gentlewoman, and I have sensibilities that are not blunted even yet!)—my pride got the better of me, and I left my place. Don’t let it distress you, Mr. Midwinter! There’s a bright side to the picture. The ladies in the neighborhood have overwhelmed me with kindness; I have the prospect of getting pupils to teach; I am spared the mortification of going back to be a burden on my friends. The only complaint I have to make is, I think, a just one. Mr. Armadale has been back at Thorpe Ambrose for some days. I have entreated him, by letter, to grant me an interview; to tell me what dreadful suspicions he has of me, and to let me set myself right in his estimation. Would you believe it? He has declined to see me—under the influence of others, not of his own free will, I am sure! Cruel, isn’t it? But he has even used me more cruelly still; he persists in suspecting me; it is he who is having me watched. Oh, Mr. Midwinter, don’t hate me for telling you what you must know! The man you found persecuting me and frightening me to-night was only earning his money, after all, as Mr. Armadale’s spy.”
“Remember how fragile he is,” Miss Gwilt implored softly, “and give him the benefit of the doubt like I do. The small incident of him not finding my reference at the given address seems, for some reason I can't fathom, to have raised Mr. Armadale’s suspicions. Regardless, he stayed in London. What he did there, I can’t say. I was completely in the dark; I knew nothing: I distrusted no one; I was as content in my routine as I could be with a student whose affection I had failed to earn, when one morning, to my utter shock, Major Milroy showed me letters between Mr. Armadale and himself. He spoke to me with his wife present. Poor woman, I hold no grudge against her; her suffering excuses everything. I wish I could convey some sense of the letters exchanged between Major Milroy and Mr. Armadale; but my mind is just a woman’s mind, and I was so bewildered and upset at the time! All I can say is that Mr. Armadale chose to keep quiet about what he was doing in London, and that silence reflected poorly on my character. The major was very kind; his trust in me didn't waver; but could his trust shield me from his wife’s prejudice and his daughter’s hostility? Oh, the cruelty women show each other! Oh, the embarrassment if men only knew how some of us truly are! What could I do? I couldn’t defend myself against vague accusations; and I couldn’t stay in my position after someone had cast a shadow on my reputation. My pride (Lord help me, I was raised as a lady, and my feelings are still quite sensitive!)—my pride got the better of me, and I left my job. Please don’t let this upset you, Mr. Midwinter! There’s a silver lining. The women in the neighborhood have showered me with kindness; I have the chance to find new students to teach; I’m saved from the humiliation of being a burden on my friends. The only complaint I have, which I believe is fair, is this: Mr. Armadale has been back at Thorpe Ambrose for a few days. I have written to him, pleading for a meeting; to tell me what terrible suspicions he holds against me, and to allow me to clear my name in his eyes. Can you believe it? He has refused to see me—under the influence of others, not by his own choice, I am certain! It’s cruel, isn’t it? But he has treated me even more harshly; he continues to suspect me; it’s he who is having me followed. Oh, Mr. Midwinter, please don’t despise me for sharing what you must know! The man you found harassing and scaring me tonight was just doing his job as Mr. Armadale’s spy.”
Once more Midwinter started to his feet; and this time the thoughts that were in him found their way into words.
Once again, Midwinter jumped to his feet; and this time, the thoughts inside him came out as words.
“I can’t believe it; I won’t believe it!” he exclaimed, indignantly. “If the man told you that, the man lied. I beg your pardon, Miss Gwilt; I beg your pardon from the bottom of my heart. Don’t, pray don’t think I doubt you; I only say there is some dreadful mistake. I am not sure that I understand as I ought all that you have told me. But this last infamous meanness of which you think Allan guilty, I do understand. I swear to you, he is incapable of it! Some scoundrel has been taking advantage of him; some scoundrel has been using his name. I’ll prove it to you, if you will only give me time. Let me go and clear it up at once. I can’t rest; I can’t bear to think of it; I can’t even enjoy the pleasure of being here. Oh,” he burst out desperately, “I’m sure you feel for me, after what you have said—I feel so for you!”
“I can’t believe it; I won’t believe it!” he said angrily. “If that guy told you that, he lied. I’m really sorry, Miss Gwilt; I truly apologize from the bottom of my heart. Please don’t think I doubt you; I just think there’s some terrible mistake. I’m not sure I fully understand everything you’ve told me. But this last disgusting act that you believe Allan did, I do understand. I promise you, he’s incapable of it! Some crook has been exploiting him; some crook has been using his name. I’ll prove it to you, if you just give me some time. Let me go and sort it out immediately. I can’t relax; I can’t stand to think about it; I can’t even enjoy being here. Oh,” he said in desperation, “I’m sure you feel for me after what you’ve said—I feel the same for you!”
He stopped in confusion. Miss Gwilt’s eyes were looking at him again, and Miss Gwilt’s hand had found its way once more into his own.
He stopped, feeling confused. Miss Gwilt was looking at him again, and her hand had slipped back into his.
“You are the most generous of living men,” she said, softly. “I will believe what you tell me to believe. Go,” she added, in a whisper, suddenly releasing his hand, and turning away from him. “For both our sakes, go!”
“You’re the most generous person alive,” she said softly. “I’ll believe what you want me to believe. Just go,” she added in a whisper, suddenly letting go of his hand and turning away from him. “For both our sakes, just go!”
His heart beat fast; he looked at her as she dropped into a chair and put her handkerchief to her eyes. For one moment he hesitated; the next, he snatched up his knapsack from the floor, and left her precipitately, without a backward look or a parting word.
His heart raced as he watched her settle into a chair and dab at her eyes with her handkerchief. For a brief moment, he hesitated; then, he quickly grabbed his backpack from the floor and left her hurriedly, without a glance back or a word of farewell.
She rose when the door closed on him. A change came over her the instant she was alone. The color faded out of her cheeks; the beauty died out of her eyes; her face hardened horribly with a silent despair. “It’s even baser work than I bargained for,” she said, “to deceive him.” After pacing to and fro in the room for some minutes, she stopped wearily before the glass over the fire-place. “You strange creature!” she murmured, leaning her elbows on the mantelpiece, and languidly addressing the reflection of herself in the glass. “Have you got any conscience left? And has that man roused it?”
She got up when the door shut behind him. A change swept over her the moment she was alone. The color drained from her cheeks; the beauty faded from her eyes; her face twisted into a terrible expression of silent despair. “This is even more degrading than I expected,” she said, “to deceive him.” After pacing back and forth in the room for a few minutes, she stopped tiredly in front of the mirror over the fireplace. “You strange creature!” she murmured, leaning her elbows on the mantelpiece and lazily addressing her reflection in the glass. “Do you have any conscience left? And has that man awakened it?”
The reflection of her face changed slowly. The color returned to her cheeks, the delicious languor began to suffuse her eyes again. Her lips parted gently, and her quickening breath began to dim the surface of the glass. She drew back from it, after a moment’s absorption in her own thoughts, with a start of terror. “What am I doing?” she asked herself, in a sudden panic of astonishment. “Am I mad enough to be thinking of him in that way?”
The reflection of her face changed gradually. Color returned to her cheeks, and that sweet laziness started to fill her eyes again. Her lips parted softly, and her quickened breath began to fog up the glass. After a moment lost in her thoughts, she suddenly pulled away, startled. “What am I doing?” she questioned herself in a wave of panic and shock. “Am I crazy enough to be thinking of him like that?”
She burst into a mocking laugh, and opened her desk on the table recklessly with a bang. “It’s high time I had some talk with Mother Jezebel,” she said, and sat down to write to Mrs. Oldershaw.
She let out a mocking laugh and slammed her desk open on the table. “It’s about time I had a chat with Mother Jezebel,” she said, and sat down to write to Mrs. Oldershaw.
“I have met with Mr. Midwinter,” she began, “under very lucky circumstances; and I have made the most of my opportunity. He has just left me for his friend Armadale; and one of two good things will happen to-morrow. If they don’t quarrel, the doors of Thorpe Ambrose will be opened to me again at Mr. Midwinter’s intercession. If they do quarrel, I shall be the unhappy cause of it, and I shall find my way in for myself, on the purely Christian errand of reconciling them.”
“I just had a meeting with Mr. Midwinter,” she started, “under really fortunate circumstances; and I made the most of my opportunity. He just left to see his friend Armadale, and one of two good things will happen tomorrow. If they don’t fight, Mr. Midwinter will talk to them, and I’ll be welcomed back to Thorpe Ambrose. If they do argue, I’ll be the unfortunate reason for it, and I’ll find my way in myself, on the purely good mission of bringing them back together.”
She hesitated at the next sentence, wrote the first few words of it, scratched them out again, and petulantly tore the letter into fragments, and threw the pen to the other end of the room. Turning quickly on her chair, she looked at the seat which Midwinter had occupied, her foot restlessly tapping the floor, and her handkerchief thrust like a gag between her clinched teeth. “Young as you are,” she thought, with her mind reviving the image of him in the empty chair, “there has been something out of the common in your life; and I must and will know it!”
She paused at the next sentence, wrote the first few words, scratched them out again, and angrily tore the letter into pieces, throwing the pen across the room. Spinning around in her chair, she stared at the seat where Midwinter had sat, her foot tapping restlessly on the floor, and her handkerchief stuffed between her clenched teeth. “Young as you are,” she thought, recalling the image of him in the empty chair, “there’s been something unusual in your life; and I have to know what it is!”
The house clock struck the hour, and roused her. She sighed, and, walking back to the glass, wearily loosened the fastenings of her dress; wearily removed the studs from the chemisette beneath it, and put them on the chimney-piece. She looked indolently at the reflected beauties of her neck and bosom, as she unplaited her hair and threw it back in one great mass over her shoulders. “Fancy,” she thought, “if he saw me now!” She turned back to the table, and sighed again as she extinguished one of the candles and took the other in her hand. “Midwinter?” she said, as she passed through the folding-doors of the room to her bed-chamber. “I don’t believe in his name, to begin with!”
The house clock struck the hour, waking her up. She sighed and, walking back to the mirror, tiredly loosened the fastenings of her dress; wearily removed the studs from the chemisette underneath, and placed them on the mantelpiece. She looked lazily at the reflection of her neck and chest as she unbraided her hair and let it fall back over her shoulders in a big wave. “Imagine,” she thought, “if he saw me like this!” She turned back to the table and sighed again as she blew out one of the candles and picked up the other. “Midwinter?” she said, as she walked through the folding doors into her bedroom. “I don’t even believe in that name, to start with!”
The night had advanced by more than an hour before Midwinter was back again at the great house.
The night had moved on by over an hour before Midwinter returned to the big house.
Twice, well as the homeward way was known to him, he had strayed out of the right road. The events of the evening—the interview with Miss Gwilt herself, after his fortnight’s solitary thinking of her; the extraordinary change that had taken place in her position since he had seen her last; and the startling assertion of Allan’s connection with it—had all conspired to throw his mind into a state of ungovernable confusion. The darkness of the cloudy night added to his bewilderment. Even the familiar gates of Thorpe Ambrose seemed strange to him. When he tried to think of it, it was a mystery to him how he had reached the place.
Twice, even though he knew the way home, he had wandered off the correct path. The events of the evening—his meeting with Miss Gwilt after two weeks of thinking about her; the shocking changes in her situation since he last saw her; and Allan’s surprising connection to it—all contributed to his overwhelming confusion. The darkness of the cloudy night only intensified his disorientation. Even the familiar gates of Thorpe Ambrose felt unfamiliar to him. When he tried to think about it, he couldn't understand how he had arrived at that place.
The front of the house was dark, and closed for the night. Midwinter went round to the back. The sound of men’s voices, as he advanced, caught his ear. They were soon distinguishable as the voices of the first and second footman, and the subject of conversation between them was their master.
The front of the house was dark and locked up for the night. Midwinter went around to the back. As he approached, he heard men's voices. It quickly became clear they were the first and second footman, and they were talking about their master.
“I’ll bet you an even half-crown he’s driven out of the neighborhood before another week is over his head,” said the first footman.
“I’ll bet you a full half-crown he’ll be gone from the neighborhood before the week is up,” said the first footman.
“Done!” said the second. “He isn’t as easy driven as you think.”
“Done!” said the second. “He’s not as easy to handle as you think.”
“Isn’t he!” retorted the other. “He’ll be mobbed if he stops here! I tell you again, he’s not satisfied with the mess he’s got into already. I know it for certain, he’s having the governess watched.”
“Isn’t he!” replied the other. “He’ll be swarmed if he stays here! I’m telling you again, he’s not happy with the situation he’s in already. I know for sure, he’s having the governess followed.”
At those words, Midwinter mechanically checked himself before he turned the corner of the house. His first doubt of the result of his meditated appeal to Allan ran through him like a sudden chill. The influence exercised by the voice of public scandal is a force which acts in opposition to the ordinary law of mechanics. It is strongest, not by concentration, but by distribution. To the primary sound we may shut our ears; but the reverberation of it in echoes is irresistible. On his way back, Midwinter’s one desire had been to find Allan up, and to speak to him immediately. His one hope now was to gain time to contend with the new doubts and to silence the new misgivings; his one present anxiety was to hear that Allan had gone to bed. He turned the corner of the house, and presented himself before the men smoking their pipes in the back garden. As soon as their astonishment allowed them to speak, they offered to rouse their master. Allan had given his friend up for that night, and had gone to bed about half an hour since.
At those words, Midwinter automatically paused before turning the corner of the house. A sudden doubt about how his planned conversation with Allan would go washed over him like a chill. The impact of public scandal works against normal logic. It’s strongest, not when it’s concentrated, but when it’s spread out. We can choose to ignore the initial sound, but the echoes of it are impossible to escape. On his way back, Midwinter had just wanted to find Allan awake and talk to him right away. Now, his only hope was to buy some time to deal with his new doubts and quiet his worries; his immediate concern was to hear that Allan had gone to bed. He turned the corner of the house and stood in front of the men smoking their pipes in the back garden. Once their surprise wore off enough for them to speak, they offered to wake their master. Allan had given up on seeing his friend for the night and had gone to bed about half an hour ago.
“It was my master’s’ particular order, sir,” said the head-footman, “that he was to be told of it if you came back.”
“It was my master’s specific instruction, sir,” said the head footman, “that he should be informed if you returned.”
“It is my particular request,” returned Midwinter, “that you won’t disturb him.”
“It’s my special request,” replied Midwinter, “that you don’t disturb him.”
The men looked at each other wonderingly, as he took his candle and left them.
The men looked at each other in surprise as he grabbed his candle and left them.
VIII. SHE COMES BETWEEN THEM.
Appointed hours for the various domestic events of the day were things unknown at Thorpe Ambrose. Irregular in all his habits, Allan accommodated himself to no stated times (with the solitary exception of dinner-time) at any hour of the day or night. He retired to rest early or late, and he rose early or late, exactly as he felt inclined. The servants were forbidden to call him; and Mrs. Gripper was accustomed to improvise the breakfast as she best might, from the time when the kitchen fire was first lighted to the time when the clock stood on the stroke of noon.
Appointed hours for the various domestic events of the day were completely unheard of at Thorpe Ambrose. Irregular in all his habits, Allan didn’t stick to any set times (with the one exception being dinner time) at any hour of the day or night. He went to bed early or late, and he got up early or late, exactly as he felt like it. The servants weren’t allowed to wake him; and Mrs. Gripper was used to making breakfast as best she could, from the moment the kitchen fire was first lit to when the clock struck noon.
Toward nine o’clock on the morning after his return Midwinter knocked at Allan’s door, and on entering the room found it empty. After inquiry among the servants, it appeared that Allan had risen that morning before the man who usually attended on him was up, and that his hot water had been brought to the door by one of the house-maids, who was then still in ignorance of Midwinter’s return. Nobody had chanced to see the master, either on the stairs or in the hall; nobody had heard him ring the bell for breakfast, as usual. In brief, nobody knew anything about him, except what was obviously clear to all—that he was not in the house.
Around nine o'clock the morning after his return, Midwinter knocked on Allan's door and found the room empty when he walked in. After asking the servants, he learned that Allan had gotten up before his usual attendant that morning, and that a housemaid had brought his hot water to the door, still unaware of Midwinter's return. No one had seen the master on the stairs or in the hall; no one had heard him ring the breakfast bell like he usually did. In short, no one knew anything about him, except for the obvious fact that he wasn't in the house.
Midwinter went out under the great portico. He stood at the head of the flight of steps considering in which direction he should set forth to look for his friend. Allan’s unexpected absence added one more to the disquieting influences which still perplexed his mind. He was in the mood in which trifles irritate a man, and fancies are all-powerful to exalt or depress his spirits.
Midwinter stepped out under the grand entrance. He stood at the top of the staircase, trying to decide which way to go to find his friend. Allan’s unexpected absence was just one more thing adding to the confusing feelings that troubled his mind. He was in a frame of mind where little things annoyed him, and his thoughts could easily lift or drag down his mood.
The sky was cloudy; and the wind blew in puffs from the south; there was every prospect, to weather-wise eyes, of coming rain. While Midwinter was still hesitating, one of the grooms passed him on the drive below. The man proved, on being questioned, to be better informed about his master’s movements than the servants indoors. He had seen Allan pass the stables more than an hour since, going out by the back way into the park with a nosegay in his hand.
The sky was overcast, and the wind was gusting from the south, signaling that rain was likely. While Midwinter was still unsure, one of the grooms walked past him on the driveway below. When asked, the man turned out to know more about his master’s whereabouts than the indoor staff. He had seen Allan leave the stables over an hour ago, heading out through the back and into the park with a bouquet in his hand.
A nosegay in his hand? The nosegay hung incomprehensibly on Midwinter’s mind as he walked round, on the chance of meeting Allan, to the back of the house. “What does the nosegay mean?” he asked himself, with an unintelligible sense of irritation, and a petulant kick at a stone that stood in his way.
A bouquet in his hand? The bouquet lingered frustratingly in Midwinter’s mind as he walked around, hoping to run into Allan at the back of the house. “What does the bouquet mean?” he wondered, with an unclear sense of annoyance, and gave a childish kick to a stone that was in his path.
It meant that Allan had been following his impulses as usual. The one pleasant impression left on his mind after his interview with Pedgift Senior was the impression made by the lawyer’s account of his conversation with Neelie in the park. The anxiety that he should not misjudge her, which the major’s daughter had so earnestly expressed, placed her before Allan’s eyes in an irresistibly attractive character—the character of the one person among all his neighbors who had some respect still left for his good opinion. Acutely sensible of his social isolation, now that there was no Midwinter to keep him company in the empty house, hungering and thirsting in his solitude for a kind word and a friendly look, he began to think more and more regretfully and more and more longingly of the bright young face so pleasantly associated with his first happiest days at Thorpe Ambrose. To be conscious of such a feeling as this was, with a character like Allan’s, to act on it headlong, lead him where it might. He had gone out on the previous morning to look for Neelie with a peace-offering of flowers, but with no very distinct idea of what he should say to her if they met; and failing to find her on the scene of her customary walks, he had characteristically persisted the next morning in making a second attempt with another peace-offering on a larger scale. Still ignorant of his friend’s return, he was now at some distance from the house, searching the park in a direction which he had not tried yet.
It meant that Allan had been acting on his impulses, as usual. The one good feeling that stayed with him after his meeting with Pedgift Senior was the impression left by the lawyer’s story about his conversation with Neelie in the park. The worry that he would misjudge her, which the major’s daughter had expressed so sincerely, made her seem irresistibly appealing to Allan—the one person among all his neighbors who still cared about his opinion. Very aware of his social isolation, now that Midwinter was gone and the house felt empty, he craved kind words and friendly faces. He began to think more and more wistfully and longingly of the bright young face that reminded him of his happiest days at Thorpe Ambrose. For someone like Allan, to feel such emotions was to act on them impulsively, no matter where that might lead him. The morning before, he had gone out looking for Neelie with a gift of flowers, but he hadn’t really thought about what he would say if he saw her. Not finding her on her usual walks, he stubbornly decided to try again the next morning with an even bigger peace offering. Still unaware of his friend’s return, he was now further away from the house, searching the park in a direction he hadn't attempted yet.
After walking out a few hundred yards beyond the stables, and failing to discover any signs of Allan, Midwinter retraced his steps, and waited for his friend’s return, pacing slowly to and fro on the little strip of garden ground at the back of the house.
After walking a few hundred yards past the stables and not finding any signs of Allan, Midwinter turned back and waited for his friend to return, pacing slowly back and forth on the small garden area behind the house.
From time to time, as he passed it, he looked in absently at the room which had formerly been Mrs. Armadale’s, which was now (through his interposition) habitually occupied by her son—the room with the Statuette on the bracket, and the French windows opening to the ground, which had once recalled to him the Second Vision of the Dream. The Shadow of the Man, which Allan had seen standing opposite to him at the long window; the view over a lawn and flower-garden; the pattering of the rain against the glass; the stretching out of the Shadow’s arm, and the fall of the statue in fragments on the floor—these objects and events of the visionary scene, so vividly present to his memory once, were all superseded by later remembrances now, were all left to fade as they might in the dim background of time. He could pass the room again and again, alone and anxious, and never once think of the boat drifting away in the moonlight, and the night’s imprisonment on the Wrecked Ship!
From time to time, as he walked by, he glanced absently into the room that used to belong to Mrs. Armadale, which was now (thanks to him) regularly occupied by her son—the room with the statuette on the shelf and the French doors that opened all the way down, which had once reminded him of the Second Vision of the Dream. The shadow of the man that Allan had seen standing across from him at the long window; the view of the lawn and flower garden; the sound of the rain pattering against the glass; the shadow’s outstretched arm, and the statue crashing to the floor in pieces—these images and moments from the dream that had once been so vivid in his memory were now replaced by later memories, left to fade away in the distant background of time. He could walk past the room again and again, feeling anxious and alone, and not once think about the boat drifting away in the moonlight or the night trapped on the wrecked ship!
Toward ten o’clock the well-remembered sound of Allan’s voice became suddenly audible in the direction of the stables. In a moment more he was visible from the garden. His second morning’s search for Neelie had ended to all appearance in a second defeat of his object. The nosegay was still in his hand; and he was resignedly making a present of it to one of the coachman’s children.
Toward ten o’clock, the familiar sound of Allan’s voice became suddenly audible from the stables. A moment later, he appeared in the garden. His second morning’s search for Neelie seemed to have ended in yet another failure. The bouquet was still in his hand, and he was willingly giving it to one of the coachman’s kids.
Midwinter impulsively took a step forward toward the stables, and abruptly checked his further progress.
Midwinter impulsively stepped forward toward the stables but suddenly paused and stopped.
Conscious that his position toward his friend was altered already in relation to Miss Gwilt, the first sight of Allan filled his mind with a sudden distrust of the governess’s influence over him, which was almost a distrust of himself. He knew that he had set forth from the moors on his return to Thorpe Ambrose with the resolution of acknowledging the passion that had mastered him, and of insisting, if necessary, on a second and a longer absence in the interests of the sacrifice which he was bent on making to the happiness of his friend. What had become of that resolution now? The discovery of Miss Gwilt’s altered position, and the declaration that she had voluntarily made of her indifference to Allan, had scattered it to the winds. The first words with which he would have met his friend, if nothing had happened to him on the homeward way, were words already dismissed from his lips. He drew back as he felt it, and struggled, with an instinctive loyalty toward Allan, to free himself at the last moment from the influence of Miss Gwilt.
Aware that his feelings towards his friend had changed in relation to Miss Gwilt, the moment he saw Allan filled him with a sudden distrust of the governess’s influence over him, which felt almost like a distrust of himself. He knew he had left the moors on his way back to Thorpe Ambrose determined to acknowledge the passion that had taken hold of him and, if necessary, push for a second and longer absence for the sake of the sacrifice he was committed to making for his friend's happiness. What happened to that determination now? The realization of Miss Gwilt’s changed situation and her declaration of indifference towards Allan had blown it away. The first words he would have spoken to his friend, if nothing had happened on his way home, had already been pushed from his mind. He hesitated as he felt it and fought, with an instinctive loyalty to Allan, to free himself at the last moment from Miss Gwilt’s influence.
Having disposed of his useless nosegay, Allan passed on into the garden, and the instant he entered it recognized Midwinter with a loud cry of surprise and delight.
Having tossed away his pointless bouquet, Allan went into the garden, and as soon as he stepped in, he spotted Midwinter and exclaimed in surprise and joy.
“Am I awake or dreaming?” he exclaimed, seizing his friend excitably by both hands. “You dear old Midwinter, have you sprung up out of the ground, or have you dropped from the clouds?”
“Am I awake or dreaming?” he exclaimed, grabbing his friend excitedly by both hands. “You dear old Midwinter, did you just pop up from the ground, or did you fall from the clouds?”
It was not till Midwinter had explained the mystery of his unexpected appearance in every particular that Allan could be prevailed on to say a word about himself. When he did speak, he shook his head ruefully, and subdued the hearty loudness of his voice, with a preliminary look round to see if the servants were within hearing.
It wasn't until Midwinter explained the mystery of his surprising appearance in every detail that Allan could be convinced to say anything about himself. When he finally did speak, he shook his head sadly and lowered the volume of his voice, glancing around first to check if the servants were within earshot.
“I’ve learned to be cautious since you went away and left me,” said Allan. “My dear fellow, you haven’t the least notion what things have happened, and what an awful scrape I’m in at this very moment!”
“I’ve learned to be careful since you left me,” said Allan. “My dear friend, you have no idea what has happened, and what a terrible situation I’m in right now!”
“You are mistaken, Allan. I have heard more of what has happened than you suppose.”
“You're wrong, Allan. I know more about what happened than you think.”
“What! the dreadful mess I’m in with Miss Gwilt? the row with the major? the infernal scandal-mongering in the neighborhood? You don’t mean to say—?”
“What! The awful situation I’m in with Miss Gwilt? The fight with the major? The terrible gossip in the neighborhood? You can't be serious—?”
“Yes,” interposed Midwinter, quietly; “I have heard of it all.”
"Yes," Midwinter chimed in quietly, "I've heard all about it."
“Good heavens! how? Did you stop at Thorpe Ambrose on your way back? Have you been in the coffee-room at the hotel? Have you met Pedgift? Have you dropped into the Reading Rooms, and seen what they call the freedom of the press in the town newspaper?”
“Good heavens! How? Did you stop at Thorpe Ambrose on your way back? Have you been in the hotel coffee room? Have you met Pedgift? Have you checked out the Reading Rooms and seen what they call the freedom of the press in the local newspaper?”
Midwinter paused before he answered, and looked up at the sky. The clouds had been gathering unnoticed over their heads, and the first rain-drops were beginning to fall.
Midwinter hesitated before responding, looking up at the sky. The clouds had been building up overhead without anyone noticing, and the first raindrops were starting to fall.
“Come in here,” said Allan. “We’ll go up to breakfast this way.” He led Midwinter through the open French window into his own sitting-room. The wind blew toward that side of the house, and the rain followed them in. Midwinter, who was last, turned and closed the window.
“Come in here,” Allan said. “We’ll head to breakfast this way.” He led Midwinter through the open French window into his sitting room. The wind blew toward that side of the house, and the rain came in with them. Midwinter, being the last, turned and closed the window.
Allan was too eager for the answer which the weather had interrupted to wait for it till they reached the breakfast-room. He stopped close at the window, and added two more to his string of questions.
Allan was too impatient for the answer that the weather had disrupted to wait until they got to the breakfast room. He paused right by the window and added two more questions to his list.
“How can you possibly have heard about me and Miss Gwilt?” he asked. “Who told you?”
“How could you have heard about me and Miss Gwilt?” he asked. “Who told you?”
“Miss Gwilt herself,” replied Midwinter, gravely.
"Miss Gwilt herself," Midwinter replied seriously.
Allan’s manner changed the moment the governess’s name passed his friend’s lips.
Allan's attitude shifted the instant his friend mentioned the governess's name.
“I wish you had heard my story first,” he said. “Where did you meet with Miss Gwilt?”
“I wish you had heard my story first,” he said. “Where did you meet Miss Gwilt?”
There was a momentary pause. They both stood still at the window, absorbed in the interest of the moment. They both forgot that their contemplated place of shelter from the rain had been the breakfast-room upstairs.
There was a brief pause. They both stood at the window, caught up in the moment. They completely forgot that their intended refuge from the rain was the breakfast room upstairs.
“Before I answer your question,” said Midwinter, a little constrainedly, “I want to ask you something, Allan, on my side. Is it really true that you are in some way concerned in Miss Gwilt’s leaving Major Milroy’s service?”
“Before I answer your question,” said Midwinter, a bit awkwardly, “I want to ask you something, Allan, from my side. Is it really true that you are somehow involved in Miss Gwilt’s departure from Major Milroy’s service?”
There was another pause. The disturbance which had begun to appear in Allan’s manner palpably increased.
There was another pause. The discomfort that had started to show in Allan's behavior clearly intensified.
“It’s rather a long story,” he began. “I have been taken in, Midwinter. I’ve been imposed on by a person, who—I can’t help saying it—who cheated me into promising what I oughtn’t to have promised, and doing what I had better not have done. It isn’t breaking my promise to tell you. I can trust in your discretion, can’t I? You will never say a word, will you?”
“It’s a pretty long story,” he started. “I’ve been taken advantage of, Midwinter. I’ve been fooled by someone who—I hate to admit it—who tricked me into promising something I shouldn’t have promised, and doing things I really shouldn’t have done. It’s not breaking my promise to share this with you. I can count on your discretion, right? You won’t say a word, will you?”
“Stop!” said Midwinter. “Don’t trust me with any secrets which are not your own. If you have given a promise, don’t trifle with it, even in speaking to such an intimate friend as I am.” He laid his hand gently and kindly on Allan’s shoulder. “I can’t help seeing that I have made you a little uncomfortable,” he went on. “I can’t help seeing that my question is not so easy a one to answer as I had hoped and supposed. Shall we wait a little? Shall we go upstairs and breakfast first?”
“Stop!” said Midwinter. “Don’t trust me with any secrets that aren’t yours. If you’ve made a promise, don’t mess with it, even when talking to someone as close as I am.” He placed his hand gently and kindly on Allan’s shoulder. “I can see that I’ve made you a bit uncomfortable,” he continued. “I realize now that my question isn’t as easy to answer as I thought. Should we wait a bit? Should we head upstairs and have breakfast first?”
Allan was far too earnestly bent on presenting his conduct to his friend in the right aspect to heed Midwinter’s suggestion. He spoke eagerly on the instant, without moving from the window.
Allan was way too focused on showing his friend that he was acting correctly to pay attention to Midwinter’s suggestion. He responded immediately, eagerly, without leaving the window.
“My dear fellow, it’s a perfectly easy question to answer. Only”—he hesitated—“only it requires what I’m a bad hand at: it requires an explanation.”
“My dear friend, it’s a really simple question to answer. It’s just”—he paused—“it just needs something I’m not great at: it needs an explanation.”
“Do you mean,” asked Midwinter, more seriously, but not less gently than before, “that you must first justify yourself, and then answer my question?”
“Are you saying,” Midwinter asked, more seriously but still gently, “that you need to justify yourself first before answering my question?”
“That’s it!” said Allan, with an air of relief. “You’re hit the right nail on the head, just as usual.”
“That's it!” Allan said, feeling relieved. “You’ve hit the nail on the head, just like always.”
Midwinter’s face darkened for the first time. “I am sorry to hear it,” he said, his voice sinking low, and his eyes dropping to the ground as he spoke.
Midwinter’s expression shifted for the first time. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said, his voice lowering, and his gaze dropping to the ground as he spoke.
The rain was beginning to fall thickly. It swept across the garden, straight on the closed windows, and pattered heavily against the glass.
The rain was starting to come down hard. It poured over the garden, hitting the closed windows and banging loudly against the glass.
“Sorry!” repeated Allan. “My dear fellow, you haven’t heard the particulars yet. Wait till I explain the thing first.”
“Sorry!” Allan repeated. “My friend, you haven’t heard the details yet. Let me explain everything first.”
“You are a bad hand at explanations,” said Midwinter, repeating Allan’s own words. “Don’t place yourself at a disadvantage. Don’t explain it.”
“You're not great at explaining things,” said Midwinter, echoing Allan's own words. “Don't put yourself in a tough spot. Just skip the explanation.”
Allan looked at him, in silent perplexity and surprise.
Allan stared at him, feeling confused and surprised.
“You are my friend—my best and dearest friend,” Midwinter went on. “I can’t bear to let you justify yourself to me as if I was your judge, or as if I doubted you.” He looked up again at Allan frankly and kindly as he said those words. “Besides,” he resumed, “I think, if I look into my memory, I can anticipate your explanation. We had a moment’s talk, before I went away, about some very delicate questions which you proposed putting to Major Milroy. I remember I warned you; I remember I had my misgivings. Should I be guessing right if I guessed that those questions have been in some way the means of leading you into a false position? If it is true that you have been concerned in Miss Gwilt’s leaving her situation, is it also true—is it only doing you justice to believe—that any mischief for which you are responsible has been mischief innocently done?”
“You’re my friend—my best and closest friend,” Midwinter continued. “I can't stand the thought of you justifying yourself to me, as if I were your judge, or as if I doubted you.” He looked up at Allan honestly and kindly as he said this. “Besides,” he added, “I think if I search my memory, I can guess your explanation. We had a brief conversation before I left about some very sensitive questions you wanted to ask Major Milroy. I remember I warned you; I remember I had my doubts. Should I assume I’m right if I guess that those questions somehow led you into a tricky situation? If it’s true that you were involved in Miss Gwilt leaving her job, is it also true—is it fair to say—that any trouble you caused was done with good intentions?”
“Yes,” said Allan, speaking, for the first time, a little constrainedly on his side. “It is only doing me justice to say that.” He stopped and began drawing lines absently with his finger on the blurred surface of the window-pane. “You’re not like other people, Midwinter,” he resumed, suddenly, with an effort; “and I should have liked you to have heard the particulars all the same.”
“Yes,” said Allan, speaking a bit awkwardly for the first time. “It’s only fair to say that.” He paused and started tracing lines absently with his finger on the smudged window-pane. “You’re not like other people, Midwinter,” he continued suddenly, with some effort; “and I would have liked you to know the details, regardless.”
“I will hear them if you desire it,” returned Midwinter. “But I am satisfied, without another word, that you have not willingly been the means of depriving Miss Gwilt of her situation. If that is understood between you and me, I think we need say no more. Besides, I have another question to ask, of much greater importance—a question that has been forced on me by what I saw with my own eyes, and heard with my own ears, last night.”
“I'll listen to them if you want,” Midwinter replied. “But I'm already convinced that you didn't intentionally cause Miss Gwilt to lose her job. If we both agree on that, I don’t think we need to discuss it further. Also, I have a different question to ask, one that’s much more important—a question that's been pushed on me by what I witnessed and heard last night.”
He stopped, recoiling in spite of himself. “Shall we go upstairs first?” he asked, abruptly, leading the way to the door, and trying to gain time.
He stopped, pulling back despite himself. “Should we go upstairs first?” he asked suddenly, heading for the door and trying to buy himself some time.
It was useless. Once again, the room which they were both free to leave, the room which one of them had twice tried to leave already, held them as if they were prisoners.
It was pointless. Once again, the room that they could both leave, the room that one of them had already tried to exit twice, kept them there as if they were prisoners.
Without answering, without even appearing to have heard Midwinter’s proposal to go upstairs, Allan followed him mechanically as far as the opposite side of the window. There he stopped. “Midwinter!” he burst out, in a sudden panic of astonishment and alarm, “there seems to be something strange between us! You’re not like yourself. What is it?”
Without answering, and without even seeming to have heard Midwinter’s suggestion to go upstairs, Allan followed him automatically to the other side of the window. There he paused. “Midwinter!” he exclaimed, suddenly filled with panic and surprise, “there’s something off between us! You’re not acting like yourself. What’s going on?”
With his hand on the lock of the door, Midwinter turned, and looked back into the room. The moment had come. His haunting fear of doing his friend an injustice had shown itself in a restraint of word, look, and action which had been marked enough to force its way to Allan’s notice. The one course left now, in the dearest interests of the friendship that united them, was to speak at once, and to speak boldly.
With his hand on the door lock, Midwinter turned and looked back into the room. The moment had arrived. His deep fear of wronging his friend had kept him quiet in his words, expressions, and actions, enough to catch Allan’s attention. The only option left, for the sake of the friendship that connected them, was to speak up immediately and do so with confidence.
“There’s something strange between us,” reiterated Allan. “For God’s sake, what is it?”
“There’s something weird going on between us,” Allan said again. “For heaven’s sake, what is it?”
Midwinter took his hand from the door, and came down again to the window, fronting Allan. He occupied the place, of necessity, which Allan had just left. It was the side of the window on which the Statuette stood. The little figure, placed on its projecting bracket, was, close behind him on his right hand. No signs of change appeared in the stormy sky. The rain still swept slanting across the garden, and pattered heavily against the glass.
Midwinter took his hand away from the door and came back to the window, facing Allan. He took the spot that Allan had just vacated. It was the side of the window where the Statuette was located. The small figure, positioned on its shelf, was just behind him on his right. There were no signs of change in the stormy sky. The rain continued to fall at an angle across the garden and pounded heavily against the glass.
“Give me your hand, Allan.”
“Hold my hand, Allan.”
Allan gave it, and Midwinter held it firmly while he spoke.
Allan gave it, and Midwinter held it tightly while he spoke.
“There is something strange between us,” he said. “There is something to be set right which touches you nearly; and it has not been set right yet. You asked me just now where I met with Miss Gwilt. I met with her on my way back here, upon the high-road on the further side of the town. She entreated me to protect her from a man who was following and frightening her. I saw the scoundrel with my own eyes, and I should have laid hands on him, if Miss Gwilt herself had not stopped me. She gave a very strange reason for stopping me. She said I didn’t know who his employer was.”
“There’s something off between us,” he said. “There’s something that needs to be fixed, and it really affects you; and it hasn’t been fixed yet. You just asked me where I ran into Miss Gwilt. I came across her while I was on my way back here, on the main road on the other side of town. She begged me to help her from a guy who was following and scaring her. I saw the jerk with my own eyes, and I would have grabbed him if Miss Gwilt hadn’t stopped me. She gave a really weird reason for stopping me. She said I didn’t know who his boss was.”
Allan’s ruddy color suddenly deepened; he looked aside quickly through the window at the pouring rain. At the same moment their hands fell apart, and there was a pause of silence on either side. Midwinter was the first to speak again.
Allan’s face turned noticeably red; he quickly glanced out the window at the pouring rain. At that moment, their hands released each other, and there was a moment of silence on both ends. Midwinter was the first to break the silence.
“Later in the evening,” he went on, “Miss Gwilt explained herself. She told me two things. She declared that the man whom I had seen following her was a hired spy. I was surprised, but I could not dispute it. She told me next, Allan—what I believe with my whole heart and soul to be a falsehood which has been imposed on her as the truth—she told me that the spy was in your employment!”
“Later in the evening,” he continued, “Miss Gwilt clarified things for me. She mentioned two important points. First, she said that the man I had seen tailing her was a hired spy. I was shocked, but I couldn’t argue against it. Then she told me, Allan—what I genuinely believe is a lie that has been forced upon her as the truth—that the spy was working for you!”
Allan turned instantly from the window, and looked Midwinter full in the face again. “I must explain myself this time,” he said, resolutely.
Allan quickly turned away from the window and looked Midwinter directly in the face again. “I have to explain myself this time,” he said firmly.
The ashy paleness peculiar to him in moments of strong emotion began to show itself on Midwinter’s cheeks.
The ashy paleness that was typical for him during intense emotions started to appear on Midwinter’s cheeks.
“More explanations!” he said, and drew back a step, with his eyes fixed in a sudden terror of inquiry on Allan’s face.
“More explanations!” he said, stepping back a bit, his eyes suddenly filled with a terrified curiosity as they focused on Allan’s face.
“You don’t know what I know, Midwinter. You don’t know that what I have done has been done with a good reason. And what is more, I have not trusted to myself—I have had good advice.”
“You don’t know what I know, Midwinter. You don’t realize that everything I’ve done has been for a good reason. What’s more, I haven’t just relied on my own judgment—I’ve sought out solid advice.”
“Did you hear what I said just now?” asked Midwinter, incredulously. “You can’t—surely, you can’t have been attending to me?”
“Did you hear what I just said?” Midwinter asked, incredulous. “You can’t—no way, you can’t have been paying attention to me?”
“I haven’t missed a word,” rejoined Allan. “I tell you again, you don’t know what I know of Miss Gwilt. She has threatened Miss Milroy. Miss Milroy is in danger while her governess stops in this neighborhood.”
“I haven’t missed a word,” Allan replied. “I’ll say it again, you don’t know what I know about Miss Gwilt. She has threatened Miss Milroy. Miss Milroy is in danger as long as her governess is in this area.”
Midwinter dismissed the major’s daughter from the conversation with a contemptuous gesture of his hand.
Midwinter waved off the major's daughter from the conversation with a disdainful gesture.
“I don’t want to hear about Miss, Milroy,” he said. “Don’t mix up Miss Milroy—Good God, Allan, am I to understand that the spy set to watch Miss Gwilt was doing his vile work with your approval?”
“I don’t want to hear about Miss Milroy,” he said. “Don’t confuse Miss Milroy—Good God, Allan, are you telling me that the spy assigned to keep an eye on Miss Gwilt was carrying out his disgusting task with your approval?”
“Once for all, my dear fellow, will you, or will you not, let me explain?”
“Once and for all, my dear friend, will you let me explain, or not?”
“Explain!” cried Midwinter, his eyes aflame, and his hot Creole blood rushing crimson into his face. “Explain the employment of a spy? What! after having driven Miss Gwilt out of her situation by meddling with her private affairs, you meddle again by the vilest of all means—the means of a paid spy? You set a watch on the woman whom you yourself told me you loved, only a fortnight since—the woman you were thinking of as your wife! I don’t believe it; I won’t believe it. Is my head failing me? Is it Allan Armadale I am speaking to? Is it Allan Armadale’s face looking at me? Stop! you are acting under some mistaken scruple. Some low fellow has crept into your confidence, and has done this in your name without telling you first.”
“Explain!” shouted Midwinter, his eyes blazing, with his hot Creole blood rushing crimson into his face. “Explain why you’re using a spy? What! After pushing Miss Gwilt out of her job by interfering in her personal life, you interfere again by the worst means possible—the means of a paid spy? You keep an eye on the woman you said just two weeks ago you loved—the woman you were considering as your wife! I don’t believe it; I refuse to believe it. Am I going crazy? Am I really talking to Allan Armadale? Is that Allan Armadale’s face I see? Wait! You must be acting on some misguided principle. Some low-life has wormed his way into your trust and has done this in your name without informing you first.”
Allan controlled himself with admirable patience and admirable consideration for the temper of his friend. “If you persist in refusing to hear me,” he said, “I must wait as well as I can till my turn comes.”
Allan held himself together with impressive patience and true concern for his friend's mood. “If you keep refusing to listen to me,” he said, “I’ll just have to wait as best as I can until it’s my turn.”
“Tell me you are a stranger to the employment of that man, and I will hear you willingly.”
“Tell me you don’t know that man’s work, and I’ll listen to you gladly.”
“Suppose there should be a necessity, that you know nothing about, for employing him?”
“Imagine there might be a need, that you're completely unaware of, to hire him?”
“I acknowledge no necessity for the cowardly persecution of a helpless woman.”
“I see no reason to cowardly harass a defenseless woman.”
A momentary flush of irritation—momentary, and no more—passed over Allan’s face. “You mightn’t think her quite so helpless,” he said, “if you knew the truth.”
A quick wave of irritation—just a quick one—crossed Allan’s face. “You might not see her as so helpless,” he said, “if you knew the truth.”
“Are you the man to tell me the truth?” retorted the other. “You who have refused to hear her in her own defense! You who have closed the doors of this house against her!”
“Are you the one who can tell me the truth?” the other fired back. “You who have refused to listen to her defend herself! You who have shut the doors of this house against her!”
Allan still controlled himself, but the effort began at last to be visible.
Allan was still managing to keep it together, but the strain was starting to show.
“I know your temper is a hot one,” he said. “But for all that, your violence quite takes me by surprise. I can’t account for it, unless”—he hesitated a moment, and then finished the sentence in his usual frank, outspoken way—“unless you are sweet yourself on Miss Gwilt.”
“I know you have a short temper,” he said. “But still, your violence really catches me off guard. I can’t explain it, unless”—he paused for a moment and then completed the thought in his usual direct, open manner—“unless you have feelings for Miss Gwilt.”
Those last words heaped fuel on the fire. They stripped the truth instantly of all concealments and disguises, and laid it bare to view. Allan’s instinct had guessed, and the guiding influence stood revealed of Midwinter’s interest in Miss Gwilt.
Those final words added fuel to the fire. They instantly revealed the truth without any cover or disguise, laying it bare for all to see. Allan had sensed it, and Midwinter's interest in Miss Gwilt was now clearly exposed.
“What right have you to say that?” he asked, with raised voice and threatening eyes.
“What right do you have to say that?” he asked, raising his voice and narrowing his eyes threateningly.
“I told you,” said Allan, simply, “when I thought I was sweet on her myself. Come! come! it’s a little hard, I think, even if you are in love with her, to believe everything she tells you, and not to let me say a word. Is that the way you decide between us?”
“I told you,” Allan said casually, “when I thought I liked her too. Come on! It’s a bit unfair, I think, even if you love her, to believe everything she says and not let me say a word. Is that how you choose between us?”
“Yes, it is!” cried the other, infuriated by Allan’s second allusion to Miss Gwilt. “When I am asked to choose between the employer of a spy and the victim of a spy, I side with the victim!”
“Yes, it is!” shouted the other, angered by Allan’s second reference to Miss Gwilt. “When I'm asked to choose between the boss of a spy and the spy’s victim, I stand with the victim!”
“Don’t try me too hard, Midwinter, I have a temper to lose as well as you.”
“Don’t test me too much, Midwinter, I can lose my temper just like you.”
He stopped, struggling with himself. The torture of passion in Midwinter’s face, from which a less simple and less generous nature might have recoiled in horror, touched Allan suddenly with an artless distress, which, at that moment, was little less than sublime. He advanced, with his eyes moistening, and his hand held out. “You asked me for my hand just now,” he said, “and I gave it you. Will you remember old times, and give me yours, before it’s too late?”
He stopped, battling with his emotions. The pain of longing in Midwinter’s expression, which someone less kind and generous might have found horrifying, struck Allan with a genuine sadness that was almost beautiful. He stepped forward, with tears in his eyes and his hand extended. “You asked for my hand just now,” he said, “and I gave it to you. Will you remember the good old days and give me yours, before it’s too late?”
“No!” retorted Midwinter, furiously. “I may meet Miss Gwilt again, and I may want my hand free to deal with your spy!”
“No!” Midwinter shot back, angrily. “I might run into Miss Gwilt again, and I might need my hands free to handle your spy!”
He had drawn back along the wall as Allan advanced, until the bracket which supported the Statuette was before instead of behind him. In the madness of his passion he saw nothing but Allan’s face confronting him. In the madness of his passion, he stretched out his right hand as he answered, and shook it threateningly in the air. It struck the forgotten projection of the bracket—and the next instant the Statuette lay in fragments on the floor.
He had moved back along the wall as Allan approached, until the bracket holding the Statuette was in front of him instead of behind. In the frenzy of his emotions, he saw nothing but Allan’s face staring at him. In that same frenzy, he reached out his right hand while responding, shaking it threateningly in the air. It hit the overlooked part of the bracket—and the next moment, the Statuette was shattered on the floor.
The rain drove slanting over flower-bed and lawn, and pattered heavily against the glass; and the two Armadales stood by the window, as the two Shadows had stood in the Second Vision of the Dream, with the wreck of the image between them.
The rain fell at an angle over the flower bed and lawn, drumming loudly against the glass; and the two Armadales stood by the window, just like the two Shadows stood in the Second Vision of the Dream, with the remnants of the image between them.
Allan stooped over the fragments of the little figure, and lifted them one by one from the floor.
Allan bent down over the pieces of the little figure and picked them up one by one from the floor.
“Leave me,” he said, without looking up, “or we shall both repent it.”
“Leave me,” he said, not looking up, “or we’ll both regret it.”
Without a word, Midwinter moved back slowly. He stood for the second time with his hand on the door, and looked his last at the room. The horror of the night on the Wreck had got him once more, and the flame of his passion was quenched in an instant.
Without saying anything, Midwinter slowly stepped back. He stood again with his hand on the door, taking a last look at the room. The terror of the night on the Wreck had gripped him again, and the fire of his passion was snuffed out in an instant.
“The Dream!” he whispered, under his breath. “The Dream again!”
“The Dream!” he whispered to himself. “The Dream again!”
The door was tried from the outside, and a servant appeared with a trivial message about the breakfast.
The door was pushed from the outside, and a servant came in with a simple message about breakfast.
Midwinter looked at the man with a blank, dreadful helplessness in his face. “Show me the way out,” he said. “The place is dark, and the room turns round with me.”
Midwinter stared at the man with a blank, terrified expression. “Show me the way out,” he said. “It’s dark in here, and the room is spinning with me.”
The servant took him by the arm, and silently led him out.
The servant took him by the arm and quietly led him outside.
As the door closed on them, Allan picked up the last fragment of the broken figure. He sat down alone at the table, and hid his face in his hands. The self-control which he had bravely preserved under exasperation renewed again and again now failed him at last in the friendless solitude of his room, and, in the first bitterness of feeling that Midwinter had turned against him like the rest, he burst into tears.
As the door shut behind them, Allan picked up the last piece of the broken figure. He sat alone at the table and buried his face in his hands. The self-control he had managed to hold onto through all the frustration finally slipped away in the lonely solitude of his room, and in the crushing disappointment of realizing that Midwinter had turned against him like everyone else, he broke down in tears.
The moments followed each other, the slow time wore on. Little by little the signs of a new elemental disturbance began to show themselves in the summer storm. The shadow of a swiftly deepening darkness swept over the sky. The pattering of the rain lessened with the lessening wind. There was a momentary hush of stillness. Then on a sudden the rain poured down again like a cataract, and the low roll of thunder came up solemnly on the dying air.
The moments passed slowly. Gradually, signs of a new kind of turmoil started to appear in the summer storm. A deepening darkness spread across the sky. The sound of the rain faded along with the wind. There was a brief pause of stillness. Then suddenly, the rain came pouring down again like a waterfall, and the low rumble of thunder resonated solemnly in the fading air.
IX. SHE KNOWS THE TRUTH.
1. From Mr. Bashwood to Miss Gwilt.
“Thorpe Ambrose, July 20th, 1851.
Thorpe Ambrose, July 20, 1851.
“DEAR MADAM—I received yesterday, by private messenger, your obliging note, in which you direct me to communicate with you through the post only, as long as there is reason to believe that any visitors who may come to you are likely to be observed. May I be permitted to say that I look forward with respectful anxiety to the time when I shall again enjoy the only real happiness I have ever experienced—the happiness of personally addressing you?
“DEAR MADAM—I received your thoughtful note yesterday through a private messenger, in which you asked me to communicate with you only by mail as long as there's a chance that any visitors you receive might be watched. May I express that I eagerly anticipate the day when I can experience the only real happiness I’ve ever known—the joy of speaking to you in person?”
“In compliance with your desire that I should not allow this day (the Sunday) to pass without privately noticing what went on at the great house, I took the keys, and went this morning to the steward’s office. I accounted for my appearance to the servants by informing them that I had work to do which it was important to complete in the shortest possible time. The same excuse would have done for Mr. Armadale if we had met, but no such meeting happened.
“In line with your wish that I shouldn’t let this Sunday pass without privately observing what was happening at the big house, I took the keys and went to the steward’s office this morning. I explained my presence to the staff by saying I had work that needed to be finished as quickly as possible. The same excuse would have worked for Mr. Armadale if we had crossed paths, but we didn’t meet.”
“Although I was at Thorpe Ambrose in what I thought good time, I was too late to see or hear anything myself of a serious quarrel which appeared to have taken place, just before I arrived, between Mr. Armadale and Mr. Midwinter.
“Even though I got to Thorpe Ambrose when I thought it was a decent time, I was too late to witness or hear anything firsthand about a serious fight that seemed to have happened right before I got there, between Mr. Armadale and Mr. Midwinter.”
“All the little information I can give you in this matter is derived from one of the servants. The man told me that he heard the voices of the two gentlemen loud in Mr. Armadale’s sitting-room. He went in to announce breakfast shortly afterward, and found Mr. Midwinter in such a dreadful state of agitation that he had to be helped out of the room. The servant tried to take him upstairs to lie down and compose himself. He declined, saying he would wait a little first in one of the lower rooms, and begging that he might be left alone. The man had hardly got downstairs again when he heard the front door opened and closed. He ran back, and found that Mr. Midwinter was gone. The rain was pouring at the time, and thunder and lightning came soon afterward. Dreadful weather certainly to go out in. The servant thinks Mr. Midwinter’s mind was unsettled. I sincerely hope not. Mr. Midwinter is one of the few people I have met with in the course of my life who have treated me kindly.
“All the little information I can give you on this matter comes from one of the staff. The man told me he heard the two gentlemen's voices loud in Mr. Armadale’s sitting room. He went in to announce breakfast shortly after and found Mr. Midwinter in such a terrible state of agitation that he had to be helped out of the room. The servant tried to take him upstairs to lie down and calm down. He refused, saying he would wait a bit in one of the lower rooms and asked to be left alone. The man had barely gotten downstairs again when he heard the front door open and close. He ran back and discovered that Mr. Midwinter was gone. It was pouring rain at the time, and thunder and lightning came shortly after. Definitely awful weather to go out in. The servant thinks Mr. Midwinter’s mind was unsettled. I sincerely hope not. Mr. Midwinter is one of the few people I've encountered in my life who have treated me kindly.”
“Hearing that Mr. Armadale still remained in the sitting-room, I went into the steward’s office (which, as you may remember, is on the same side of the house), and left the door ajar, and set the window open, waiting and listening for anything that might happen. Dear madam, there was a time when I might have thought such a position in the house of my employer not a very becoming one. Let me hasten to assure you that this is far from being my feeling now. I glory in any position which makes me serviceable to you.
“Hearing that Mr. Armadale was still in the sitting room, I went into the steward’s office (which, as you might recall, is on the same side of the house), left the door a little open, and opened the window, waiting and listening for anything that might happen. Dear madam, there was a time when I might have thought that being in this position in my employer’s house was not very proper. Let me quickly assure you that this is not how I feel now. I take pride in any role that allows me to be of service to you.”
“The state of the weather seemed hopelessly adverse to that renewal of intercourse between Mr. Armadale and Miss Milroy which you so confidently anticipate, and of which you are so anxious to be made aware. Strangely enough, however, it is actually in consequence of the state of the weather that I am now in a position to give you the very information you require. Mr. Armadale and Miss Milroy met about an hour since. The circumstances were as follows:
“The weather seemed completely against the revival of the relationship between Mr. Armadale and Miss Milroy that you so confidently expect and are so eager to know about. Oddly enough, it’s because of the weather that I can now give you the exact information you want. Mr. Armadale and Miss Milroy met about an hour ago. Here’s what happened:”
“Just at the beginning of the thunder-storm, I saw one of the grooms run across from the stables, and heard him tap at his master’s window. Mr. Armadale opened the window and asked what was the matter. The groom said he came with a message from the coachman’s wife. She had seen from her room over the stables (which looks on to the park) Miss Milroy quite alone, standing for shelter under one of the trees. As that part of the park was at some distance from the major’s cottage, she had thought that her master might wish to send and ask the young lady into the house—especially as she had placed herself, with a thunder-storm coming on, in what might turn out to be a very dangerous position.
“Right at the start of the thunderstorm, I saw one of the grooms run from the stables and heard him knock on his master’s window. Mr. Armadale opened the window and asked what was going on. The groom said he had a message from the coachman’s wife. She had seen Miss Milroy all alone, taking shelter under one of the trees from her room over the stables, which overlooks the park. Since that part of the park was quite a distance from the major’s cottage, she thought her master might want to send someone to invite the young lady into the house—especially since she was standing there with a thunderstorm approaching, which could be a very dangerous spot to be in.”
“The moment Mr. Armadale understood the man’s message, he called for the water-proof things and the umbrellas, and ran out himself, instead of leaving it to the servants. In a little time he and the groom came back with Miss Milroy between them, as well protected as could be from the rain.
“The moment Mr. Armadale understood the man’s message, he called for the waterproof gear and umbrellas, and ran out himself instead of leaving it to the staff. Soon, he and the groom returned with Miss Milroy between them, as well protected as possible from the rain.”
“I ascertained from one of the women-servants, who had taken the young lady into a bedroom, and had supplied her with such dry things as she wanted, that Miss Milroy had been afterward shown into the drawing-room, and that Mr. Armadale was there with her. The only way of following your instructions, and finding out what passed between them, was to go round the house in the pelting rain, and get into the conservatory (which opens into the drawing-room) by the outer door. I hesitate at nothing, dear madam, in your service; I would cheerfully get wet every day, to please you. Besides, though I may at first sight be thought rather an elderly man, a wetting is of no very serious consequence to me. I assure you I am not so old as I look, and I am of a stronger constitution than appears.
“I found out from one of the female servants, who had taken the young lady into a bedroom and provided her with the dry clothes she needed, that Miss Milroy had later been taken into the drawing room, where Mr. Armadale was with her. The only way to follow your instructions and discover what they discussed was to go around the house in the pouring rain and enter the conservatory (which leads into the drawing room) through the outer door. I don’t hold back for anything, dear madam, in your service; I would happily get soaked every day to please you. Plus, while I might seem like an older man at first glance, getting wet isn’t a big deal for me. I assure you I’m not as old as I appear, and I’m actually of a stronger constitution than I seem.”
“It was impossible for me to get near enough in the conservatory to see what went on in the drawing-room, without the risk of being discovered. But most of the conversation reached me, except when they dropped their voices. This is the substance of what I heard:
“It was impossible for me to get close enough in the conservatory to see what was happening in the drawing-room without the risk of getting caught. However, I managed to hear most of the conversation, except when they lowered their voices. Here’s what I gathered:
“I gathered that Miss Milroy had been prevailed on, against her will, to take refuge from the thunder-storm in Mr. Armadale’s house. She said so, at least, and she gave two reasons. The first was that her father had forbidden all intercourse between the cottage and the great house. Mr. Armadale met this objection by declaring that her father had issued his orders under a total misconception of the truth, and by entreating her not to treat him as cruelly as the major had treated him. He entered, I suspect, into some explanations at this point, but as he dropped his voice I am unable to say what they were. His language, when I did hear it, was confused and ungrammatical. It seemed, however, to be quite intelligible enough to persuade Miss Milroy that her father had been acting under a mistaken impression of the circumstances. At least, I infer this; for, when I next heard the conversation, the young lady was driven back to her second objection to being in the house—which was, that Mr. Armadale had behaved very badly to her, and that he richly deserved that she should never speak to him again.
“I gathered that Miss Milroy had been convinced, against her will, to seek shelter from the thunderstorm in Mr. Armadale’s house. She mentioned this, at least, and she gave two reasons. The first was that her father had forbidden any contact between the cottage and the big house. Mr. Armadale addressed this concern by claiming that her father had given his orders based on a complete misunderstanding of the situation, and he urged her not to treat him as harshly as the major had treated him. I suspect he started to explain further at this point, but since he lowered his voice, I can’t say what he said. His words, when I did catch them, were jumbled and awkward. However, it seemed enough to convince Miss Milroy that her father had been misled about the situation. At least, that’s what I infer; because when I next heard them talking, the young lady returned to her second reason for not wanting to stay in the house—which was that Mr. Armadale had treated her very poorly, and that he truly deserved for her to never speak to him again.”
“In this latter case, Mr. Armadale attempted no defense of any kind. He agreed with her that he had behaved badly; he agreed with her that he richly deserved she should never speak to him again. At the same time he implored her to remember that he had suffered his punishment already. He was disgraced in the neighborhood; and his dearest friend, his one intimate friend in the world, had that very morning turned against him like the rest. Far or near, there was not a living creature whom he was fond of to comfort him, or to say a friendly word to him. He was lonely and miserable, and his heart ached for a little kindness—and that was his only excuse for asking Miss Milroy to forget and forgive the past.
“In this situation, Mr. Armadale made no attempt to defend himself. He agreed with her that he had acted poorly; he agreed that he fully deserved for her to never speak to him again. At the same time, he begged her to remember that he had already endured his punishment. He was shunned in the community, and his closest friend, his only true friend in the world, had that very morning turned against him like everyone else. Near or far, there wasn’t a single person he cared about who could comfort him or offer a kind word. He was lonely and miserable, and his heart longed for a little kindness—and that was his only reason for asking Miss Milroy to forget and forgive the past.”
“I must leave you, I fear, to judge for yourself of the effect of this on the young lady; for, though I tried hard, I failed to catch what she said. I am almost certain I heard her crying, and Mr. Armadale entreating her not to break his heart. They whispered a great deal, which aggravated me. I was afterward alarmed by Mr. Armadale coming out into the conservatory to pick some flowers. He did not come as far, fortunately, as the place where I was hidden; and he went in again into the drawing-room, and there was more talking (I suspect at close quarters), which to my great regret I again failed to catch. Pray forgive me for having so little to tell you. I can only add that, when the storm cleared off, Miss Milroy went away with the flowers in her hand, and with Mr. Armadale escorting her from the house. My own humble opinion is that he had a powerful friend at court, all through the interview, in the young lady’s own liking for him.
“I have to leave you to figure out how this affected the young lady because, even though I tried really hard, I couldn’t understand what she said. I’m pretty sure I heard her crying, and Mr. Armadale begging her not to break his heart. They whispered a lot, which frustrated me. I was later startled when Mr. Armadale came into the conservatory to pick some flowers. Luckily, he didn’t come close enough to where I was hidden; he went back into the drawing room, and there was more talking (I think at close range), which I unfortunately failed to overhear again. Please forgive me for having so little to share with you. I can only add that, when the storm passed, Miss Milroy left with the flowers in her hand, and Mr. Armadale was escorting her out of the house. In my humble opinion, he definitely had a strong ally throughout the conversation in the young lady’s obvious affection for him.”
“This is all I can say at present, with the exception of one other thing I heard, which I blush to mention. But your word is law, and you have ordered me to have no concealments from you.
“This is all I can say right now, except for one more thing I heard, which I’m embarrassed to bring up. But your word is law, and you’ve told me to keep nothing from you.”
“Their talk turned once, dear madam, on yourself. I think I heard the word ‘creature’ from Miss Milroy; and I am certain that Mr. Armadale, while acknowledging that he had once admired you, added that circumstances had since satisfied him of ‘his folly.’ I quote his own expression; it made me quite tremble with indignation. If I may be permitted to say so, the man who admires Miss Gwilt lives in Paradise. Respect, if nothing else, ought to have closed Mr. Armadale’s lips. He is my employer, I know; but after his calling it an act of folly to admire you (though I am his deputy-steward), I utterly despise him.
“Their conversation turned to you, dear madam. I think I heard Miss Milroy use the word ‘creature’; and I’m sure that Mr. Armadale, while admitting that he once admired you, claimed that circumstances had since convinced him of ‘his folly.’ I’m quoting him directly; it made me tremble with anger. If I can say this, the man who admires Miss Gwilt lives in Paradise. Respect, if nothing else, should have kept Mr. Armadale quiet. I know he’s my boss, but after he called it an act of folly to admire you (even though I am his deputy-steward), I completely despise him.”
“Trusting that I may have been so happy as to give you satisfaction thus far, and earnestly desirous to deserve the honor of your continued confidence in me, I remain, dear madam,
“Trusting that I have been able to satisfy you so far, and truly eager to earn the honor of your continued trust in me, I remain, dear madam,
“Your grateful and devoted servant,
"Your thankful and loyal servant,
“FELIX BASHWOOD.”
“Felix Bashwood.”
2. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
2. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Diana Street, Monday, July 21st.
Diana Street, Monday, July 21.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—I trouble you with a few lines. They are written under a sense of the duty which I owe to myself, in our present position toward each other.
“MY DEAR LYDIA—I’m reaching out with a few lines. I’m writing them out of a sense of the obligation I have to myself, given our current situation with one another.
“I am not at all satisfied with the tone of your last two letters; and I am still less pleased at your leaving me this morning without any letter at all—and this when we had arranged, in the doubtful state of our prospects, that I was to hear from you every day. I can only interpret your conduct in one way. I can only infer that matters at Thorpe Ambrose, having been all mismanaged, are all going wrong.
“I’m really not happy with the tone of your last two letters; and I’m even more upset that you left this morning without sending any letter at all—especially when we agreed, given our uncertain situation, that I would hear from you every day. I can only see your actions in one way. It seems to me that things at Thorpe Ambrose are all messed up and going badly.”
“It is not my present object to reproach you, for why should I waste time, language, and paper? I merely wish to recall to your memory certain considerations which you appear to be disposed to overlook. Shall I put them in the plainest English? Yes; for, with all my faults, I am frankness personified.
“It’s not my intention to blame you right now, because why should I waste time, words, and paper? I just want to remind you of some points that you seem to be ignoring. Should I say them in the simplest way? Yes; because, despite my flaws, I’m all about honesty.”
“In the first place, then, I have an interest in your becoming Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose as well as you. Secondly, I have provided you (to say nothing of good advice) with all the money needed to accomplish our object. Thirdly, I hold your notes of hand, at short dates, for every farthing so advanced. Fourthly and lastly, though I am indulgent to a fault in the capacity of a friend—in the capacity of a woman of business, my dear, I am not to be trifled with. That is all, Lydia, at least for the present.
“In the first place, I’m just as interested in you becoming Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose as you are. Secondly, I’ve given you (along with some solid advice) all the money you need to make that happen. Thirdly, I have your promissory notes for every penny I’ve given you, due soon. Fourthly and finally, while I can be incredibly lenient as a friend, don’t mess with me as a businesswoman, my dear. That’s it for now, Lydia, at least for the moment.”
“Pray don’t suppose I write in anger; I am only sorry and disheartened. My state of mind resembles David’s. If I had the wings of a dove, I would flee away and be at rest.
“Please don’t think I’m writing out of anger; I'm just sorry and feeling down. My mindset is similar to David’s. If I had the wings of a dove, I would fly away and find peace.”
“Affectionately yours, MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
“Yours affectionately, MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
3. From Mr. Bashwood to Miss Gwilt.
3. From Mr. Bashwood to Miss Gwilt.
“Thorpe Ambrose, July 21st.
Thorpe Ambrose, July 21.
“DEAR MADAM—You will probably receive these lines a few hours after my yesterday’s communication reaches you. I posted my first letter last night, and I shall post this before noon to-day.
“DEAR MADAM—You’ll probably get this a few hours after my letter from yesterday arrives. I mailed my first letter last night, and I’ll send this one before noon today.
“My present object in writing is to give you some more news from this house. I have the inexpressible happiness of announcing that Mr. Armadale’s disgraceful intrusion on your privacy is at an end. The watch set on your actions is to be withdrawn this day. I write, dear madam, with the tears in my eyes—tears of joy, caused by feelings which I ventured to express in my previous letter (see first paragraph toward the end). Pardon me this personal reference. I can speak to you (I don’t know why) so much more readily with my pen than with my tongue.
“My current purpose in writing is to update you with some more news from this house. I’m incredibly happy to let you know that Mr. Armadale’s disgraceful invasion of your privacy is finally over. The surveillance on your actions is being lifted today. I write, dear madam, with tears in my eyes—tears of joy, stemming from the feelings I dared to express in my previous letter (see first paragraph toward the end). Please forgive this personal note. I find it so much easier to communicate with you through my pen than my voice.”
“Let me try to compose myself, and proceed with my narrative.
“Let me try to calm down and continue with my story.
“I had just arrived at the steward’s office this morning, when Mr. Pedgift the elder followed me to the great house to see Mr. Armadale by special appointment. It is needless to say that I at once suspended any little business there was to do, feeling that your interests might possibly be concerned. It is also most gratifying to add that this time circumstances favored me. I was able to stand under the open window and to hear the whole interview.
“I had just gotten to the steward’s office this morning when Mr. Pedgift the elder followed me to the big house to see Mr. Armadale by special appointment. I immediately put aside any small tasks I had, knowing that your interests might be involved. It’s also great to say that this time, luck was on my side. I was able to stand under the open window and hear the entire conversation.”
“Mr. Armadale explained himself at once in the plainest terms. He gave orders that the person who had been hired to watch you should be instantly dismissed. On being asked to explain this sudden change of purpose, he did not conceal that it was owing to the effect produced on his mind by what had passed between Mr. Midwinter and himself on the previous day. Mr. Midwinter’s language, cruelly unjust as it was, had nevertheless convinced him that no necessity whatever could excuse any proceeding so essentially base in itself as the employment of a spy, and on that conviction he was now determined to act.
“Mr. Armadale made himself clear right away. He ordered that the person hired to watch you should be fired immediately. When asked why he had changed his mind so suddenly, he admitted it was because of the conversation he had with Mr. Midwinter the day before. Even though Mr. Midwinter’s words were harshly unfair, they convinced him that there was no reason that could justify the fundamentally dishonorable act of using a spy, and he was now set on acting based on that belief.”
“But for your own positive directions to me to conceal nothing that passes here in which your name is concerned, I should really be ashamed to report what Mr. Pedgift said on his side. He has behaved kindly to me, I know. But if he was my own brother, I could never forgive him the tone in which he spoke of you, and the obstinacy with which he tried to make Mr. Armadale change his mind.
“But for your clear instructions to me to not hide anything regarding your name, I would honestly feel embarrassed to share what Mr. Pedgift said. I know he has been nice to me. But even if he were my own brother, I could never forgive the way he talked about you and his stubbornness in trying to change Mr. Armadale's mind.”
“He began by attacking Mr. Midwinter. He declared that Mr. Midwinter’s opinion was the very worst opinion that could be taken; for it was quite plain that you, dear madam, had twisted him round your finger. Producing no effect by this coarse suggestion (which nobody who knows you could for a moment believe), Mr. Pedgift next referred to Miss Milroy, and asked Mr. Armadale if he had given up all idea of protecting her. What this meant I cannot imagine. I can only report it for your private consideration. Mr. Armadale briefly answered that he had his own plan for protecting Miss Milroy, and that the circumstances were altered in that quarter, or words to a similar effect. Still Mr. Pedgift persisted. He went on (I blush to mention) from bad to worse. He tried to persuade Mr. Armadale next to bring an action at law against one or other of the persons who had been most strongly condemning his conduct in the neighborhood, for the purpose—I really hardly know how to write it—of getting you into the witness-box. And worse yet: when Mr. Armadale still said No, Mr. Pedgift, after having, as I suspected by the sound of his voice, been on the point of leaving the room, artfully came back, and proposed sending for a detective officer from London, simply to look at you. ‘The whole of this mystery about Miss Gwilt’s true character,’ he said, ‘may turn on a question of identity. It won’t cost much to have a man down from London; and it’s worth trying whether her face is or is not known at headquarters to the police.’ I again and again assure you, dearest lady, that I only repeat those abominable words from a sense of duty toward yourself. I shook—I declare I shook from head to foot when I heard them.
“He started by going after Mr. Midwinter. He claimed that Mr. Midwinter’s opinion was the worst one possible; it was obvious that you, dear madam, had him completely under your influence. Since this crude suggestion had no impact (which no one who knows you could possibly believe), Mr. Pedgift then turned to Miss Milroy and asked Mr. Armadale if he had given up on protecting her. I can’t imagine what that meant. I can only share it for your personal reflection. Mr. Armadale briefly replied that he had his own plan for protecting Miss Milroy, and that the situation had changed over there, or something like that. Still, Mr. Pedgift pressed on. He went (I’m embarrassed to mention) from bad to worse. He tried to convince Mr. Armadale to file a lawsuit against one of the people who had been harshly criticizing his behavior in the neighborhood, with the aim—I can hardly believe I’m writing this—of getting you into the witness-box. And even worse: when Mr. Armadale still said No, Mr. Pedgift, who I suspected was about to leave, cleverly returned and suggested calling a detective from London just to take a look at you. ‘The whole mystery surrounding Miss Gwilt’s true character,’ he said, ‘might hinge on a question of identity. It wouldn’t be expensive to have someone come down from London; and it’s worth a shot to see if her face is recognized at police headquarters.’ I assure you again and again, dearest lady, that I’m only repeating those dreadful words out of duty to you. I was shaken—I truly was shaken from head to toe when I heard them.”
“To resume, for there is more to tell you.
“To continue, because there’s more to share with you.
“Mr. Armadale (to his credit—I don’t deny it, though I don’t like him) still said No. He appeared to be getting irritated under Mr. Pedgift’s persistence, and he spoke in a somewhat hasty way. ‘You persuaded me on the last occasion when we talked about this,’ he said, ‘to do something that I have been since heartily ashamed of. You won’t succeed in persuading me, Mr. Pedgift, a second time.’ Those were his words. Mr. Pedgift took him up short; Mr. Pedgift seemed to be nettled on his side.
“Mr. Armadale (I'll give him that—I don’t like him, but I won't deny it) still said No. He looked like he was getting annoyed with Mr. Pedgift’s insistence, and he spoke a bit quickly. ‘Last time we talked about this, you convinced me to do something I’ve regretted ever since. You won’t convince me again, Mr. Pedgift,’ he said. Those were his exact words. Mr. Pedgift was taken aback; he seemed to be annoyed too.
“‘If that is the light in which you see my advice, sir,’ he said, ‘the less you have of it for the future, the better. Your character and position are publicly involved in this matter between yourself and Miss Gwilt; and you persist, at a most critical moment, in taking a course of your own, which I believe will end badly. After what I have already said and done in this very serious case, I can’t consent to go on with it with both my hands tied, and I can’t drop it with credit to myself while I remain publicly known as your solicitor. You leave me no alternative, sir, but to resign the honor of acting as your legal adviser.’ ‘I am sorry to hear it,’ says Mr. Armadale, ‘but I have suffered enough already through interfering with Miss Gwilt. I can’t and won’t stir any further in the matter.’ ‘You may not stir any further in it, sir,’ says Mr. Pedgift, ‘and I shall not stir any further in it, for it has ceased to be a question of professional interest to me. But mark my words, Mr. Armadale, you are not at the end of this business yet. Some other person’s curiosity may go on from the point where you (and I) have stopped; and some other person’s hand may let the broad daylight in yet on Miss Gwilt.’
“‘If that’s how you see my advice, sir,’ he said, ‘then the less you hear from me in the future, the better. Your reputation and standing are publicly tied to this situation with Miss Gwilt, and you insist on following your own path at a very crucial time, which I believe will lead to trouble. After everything I’ve said and done in this serious matter, I can’t agree to continue with my hands tied, and I can’t walk away from it without damaging my own reputation while still being known as your lawyer. You leave me no choice, sir, but to resign as your legal adviser.’ ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ said Mr. Armadale, ‘but I’ve already suffered enough by getting involved with Miss Gwilt. I can’t and won’t get further involved in this issue.’ ‘You may choose not to get further involved, sir,’ replied Mr. Pedgift, ‘and I won’t either, as it’s no longer a matter of professional interest for me. But mark my words, Mr. Armadale, this isn’t the end of this situation for you. Someone else’s curiosity may pick up where you (and I) have left off, and someone else’s actions may ultimately bring Miss Gwilt into the light.’”
“I report their language, dear madam, almost word for word, I believe, as I heard it. It produced an indescribable impression on me; it filled me, I hardly know why, with quite a panic of alarm. I don’t at all understand it, and I understand still less what happened immediately afterward.
“I’m sharing their words with you, dear madam, almost exactly as I heard them. It had an indescribable effect on me; it filled me, for reasons I can’t quite explain, with a sudden panic. I don’t fully comprehend it, and I understand even less what happened right after.”
“Mr. Pedgift’s voice, when he said those last words, sounded dreadfully close to me. He must have been speaking at the open window, and he must, I fear, have seen me under it. I had time, before he left the house, to get out quietly from among the laurels, but not to get back to the office. Accordingly I walked away along the drive toward the lodge, as if I was going on some errand connected with the steward’s business.
“Mr. Pedgift’s voice, when he said those last words, sounded terrifyingly close to me. He must have been speaking at the open window, and I’m afraid he must have seen me under it. I had time, before he left the house, to sneak out quietly from among the laurels, but not to make it back to the office. So, I walked away along the drive toward the lodge, as if I was going on some errand related to the steward’s business.”
“Before long, Mr. Pedgift overtook me in his gig, and stopped. ‘So you feel some curiosity about Miss Gwilt, do you?’ he said. ‘Gratify your curiosity by all means; I don’t object to it.’ I felt naturally nervous, but I managed to ask him what he meant. He didn’t answer; he only looked down at me from the gig in a very odd manner, and laughed. ‘I have known stranger things happen even than that!’ he said to himself suddenly, and drove off.
“Before long, Mr. Pedgift caught up with me in his carriage and stopped. ‘So, you are curious about Miss Gwilt, huh?’ he said. ‘Go ahead and satisfy your curiosity; I don’t mind.’ I was understandably nervous, but I managed to ask him what he meant. He didn’t answer; he just looked down at me from the carriage in a really strange way and laughed. ‘I’ve seen weirder things happen than that!’ he suddenly said to himself and drove off.”
“I have ventured to trouble you with this last incident, though it may seem of no importance in your eyes, in the hope that your superior ability may be able to explain it. My own poor faculties, I confess, are quite unable to penetrate Mr. Pedgift’s meaning. All I know is that he has no right to accuse me of any such impertinent feeling as curiosity in relation to a lady whom I ardently esteem and admire. I dare not put it in warmer words.
“I have taken the liberty to bring up this final incident, even though it might seem insignificant to you, in the hope that your greater understanding may shed light on it. I admit that my own limited capabilities cannot decipher Mr. Pedgift’s meaning. All I know is that he has no right to accuse me of any such disrespectful feeling as curiosity regarding a lady I hold in deep respect and admiration. I wouldn’t dare to express it in stronger terms."
“I have only to add that I am in a position to be of continued service to you here if you wish it. Mr. Armadale has just been into the office, and has told me briefly that, in Mr. Midwinter’s continued absence, I am still to act as steward’s deputy till further notice.
“I just want to say that I can still help you here if you need it. Mr. Armadale just came to the office and told me briefly that, since Mr. Midwinter is still absent, I will continue to act as the steward’s deputy until further notice.”
“Believe me, dear madam, anxiously and devotedly yours, FELIX BASHWOOD.”
“Trust me, dear lady, anxiously and devotedly yours, FELIX BASHWOOD.”
4. From Allan Armadale to the Reverend Decimus Brock.
4. From Allan Armadale to the Reverend Decimus Brock.
Thorpe Ambrose, Tuesday.
Thorpe Ambrose, Tuesday.
“MY DEAR MR. BROCK—I am in sad trouble. Midwinter has quarreled with me and left me; and my lawyer has quarreled with me and left me; and (except dear little Miss Milroy, who has forgiven me) all the neighbors have turned their backs on me. There is a good deal about ‘me’ in this, but I can’t help it. I am very miserable alone in my own house. Do pray come and see me! You are the only old friend I have left, and I do long so to tell you about it.
“MY DEAR MR. BROCK—I’m going through a tough time. Midwinter has had a falling out with me and left; my lawyer has also had a dispute with me and gone; and (except for dear little Miss Milroy, who has forgiven me) all the neighbors have turned their backs on me. I know this sounds selfish, but I can’t help it. I feel really miserable being alone in my own house. Please come and visit me! You’re the only old friend I have left, and I really want to tell you all about it.”
“N. B.—On my word of honor as a gentleman, I am not to blame. Yours affectionately,
“N. B.—I swear on my honor as a gentleman, I am not at fault. Yours affectionately,
“ALLAN ARMADALE.
ALLAN ARMADALE.
“P. S.—I would come to you (for this place is grown quite hateful to me), but I have a reason for not going too far away from Miss Milroy just at present.”
“P.S.—I would come to you (because this place has become quite unbearable for me), but I have a reason for not going too far from Miss Milroy right now.”
5. From Robert Stapleton to Allan Armadale, Esq.
5. From Robert Stapleton to Allan Armadale, Esq.
“Bascombe Rectory, Thursday Morning.
"Bascombe Rectory, Thursday Morning."
“RESPECTED SIR—I see a letter in your writing, on the table along with the others, which I am sorry to say my master is not well enough to open. He is down with a sort of low fever. The doctor says it has been brought on with worry and anxiety which master was not strong enough to bear. This seems likely; for I was with him when he went to London last month, and what with his own business, and the business of looking after that person who afterward gave us the slip, he was worried and anxious all the time; and for the matter of that, so was I.
“RESPECTED SIR—I see a letter in your handwriting on the table with the others, and I’m sorry to say my master isn’t well enough to open it. He’s come down with a sort of low fever. The doctor says it was triggered by the worry and anxiety that my master couldn’t handle. This seems likely because I was with him when he went to London last month, and between his own business and the trouble of keeping an eye on that person who later got away, he was worried and anxious the whole time; and honestly, so was I.
“My master was talking of you a day or two since. He seemed unwilling that you should know of his illness, unless he got worse. But I think you ought to know of it. At the same time he is not worse; perhaps a trifle better. The doctor says he must be kept very quiet, and not agitated on any account. So be pleased to take no notice of this—I mean in the way of coming to the rectory. I have the doctor’s orders to say it is not needful, and it would only upset my master in the state he is in now.
“My boss was talking about you a day or two ago. He didn’t want you to know about his illness unless it got worse. But I think you should be aware of it. At the same time, he isn’t worse; he might even be a little better. The doctor says he needs to be kept really calm and should not be stressed for any reason. So please don’t take this the wrong way—I mean in terms of coming to the rectory. I’ve been instructed by the doctor to say it’s not necessary, and it would just upset my boss in his current condition.”
“I will write again if you wish it. Please accept of my duty, and believe me to remain, sir, your humble servant,
“I will write again if you want me to. Please accept my duty, and believe me to remain, sir, your humble servant,
“ROBERT STAPLETON.
ROBERT STAPLETON
“P. S.—The yacht has been rigged and repainted, waiting your orders. She looks beautiful.”
“P.S.—The yacht has been outfitted and repainted, ready for your instructions. She looks stunning.”
6. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
6. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Diana Street, July 24th.
Diana Street, July 24.
“MISS GWILT—The post hour has passed for three mornings following, and has brought me no answer to my letter. Are you purposely bent on insulting me? or have you left Thorpe Ambrose? In either case, I won’t put up with your conduct any longer. The law shall bring you to book, if I can’t.
“MISS GWILT—It’s been three mornings since the mail hour passed, and I still haven’t received a response to my letter. Are you intentionally trying to insult me, or have you left Thorpe Ambrose? Either way, I won’t tolerate your behavior any longer. The law will hold you accountable if I can’t.”
“Your first note of hand (for thirty pounds) falls due on Tuesday next, the 29th. If you had behaved with common consideration toward me, I would have let you renew it with pleasure. As things are, I shall have the note presented; and, if it is not paid, I shall instruct my man of business to take the usual course.
“Your first promissory note (for thirty pounds) is due next Tuesday, the 29th. If you had treated me with basic respect, I would have happily let you renew it. As it stands, I will have the note presented, and if it’s not paid, I will instruct my lawyer to take the standard steps.”
“Yours, MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
“Best, MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
7. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
7. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
“5 Paradise Place, Thorpe Ambrose, July 25th.
“5 Paradise Place, Thorpe Ambrose, July 25th.
“MRS. OLDERSHAW—The time of your man of business being, no doubt, of some value, I write a line to assist him when he takes the usual course. He will find me waiting to be arrested in the first-floor apartments, at the above address. In my present situation, and with my present thoughts, the best service you can possibly render me is to lock me up.
“MRS. OLDERSHAW—Since your businessman's time is definitely valuable, I'm writing to give him a heads-up when he follows the usual procedure. He'll find me waiting to be taken into custody in the first-floor apartments at the address above. Given my current situation and mindset, the best thing you could do for me is to confine me.”
“L. G.”
“L. G.”
8. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
8. From Mrs. Oldershaw to Miss Gwilt.
“Diana Street, July 26th.
Diana Street, July 26.
“MY DARLING LYDIA—The longer I live in this wicked world the more plainly I see that women’s own tempers are the worst enemies women have to contend with. What a truly regretful style of correspondence we have fallen into! What a sad want of self-restraint, my dear, on your side and on mine!
“MY DARLING LYDIA—The longer I live in this wicked world, the more clearly I see that women’s own tempers are the worst enemies women have to deal with. What a truly regrettable way of communicating we have fallen into! What a sad lack of self-control, my dear, on both your part and mine!
“Let me, as the oldest in years, be the first to make the needful excuses, the first to blush for my own want of self-control. Your cruel neglect, Lydia, stung me into writing as I did. I am so sensitive to ill treatment, when it is inflicted on me by a person whom I love and admire; and, though turned sixty, I am still (unfortunately for myself) so young at heart. Accept my apologies for having made use of my pen, when I ought to have been content to take refuge in my pocket-handkerchief. Forgive your attached Maria for being still young at heart!
“Let me, being the oldest here, be the first to apologize and to feel embarrassed about my lack of self-control. Your harsh neglect, Lydia, prompted me to write as I did. I get so hurt by mistreatment, especially when it comes from someone I love and admire; and even though I’ve turned sixty, I'm still (unfortunately for me) so young at heart. Please accept my apologies for writing when I should have just resorted to my handkerchief. Forgive your devoted Maria for still being young at heart!”
“But oh, my dear—though I own I threatened you—how hard of you to take me at my word! How cruel of you, if your debt had been ten times what it is, to suppose me capable (whatever I might say) of the odious inhumanity of arresting my bosom friend! Heavens! have I deserved to be taken at my word in this unmercifully exact way, after the years of tender intimacy that have united us? But I don’t complain; I only mourn over the frailty of our common human nature. Let us expect as little of each other as possible, my dear; we are both women, and we can’t help it. I declare, when I reflect on the origin of our unfortunate sex—when I remember that we were all originally made of no better material than the rib of a man (and that rib of so little importance to its possessor that he never appears to have missed it afterward), I am quite astonished at our virtues, and not in the least surprised at our faults.
“But oh, my dear—although I admit I threatened you—how could you be so cruel to take me at my word! How unjust of you, even if your debt had been ten times as much, to think I could actually do the terrible thing of having my closest friend arrested! Goodness! Have I really deserved to be taken so literally after all these years of deep friendship between us? But I’m not complaining; I’m just lamenting the weakness of human nature. Let's try to expect as little from each other as possible, my dear; we are both women, and it’s in our nature. Honestly, when I think about the origins of our unfortunate gender—when I remember that we were all originally created from nothing better than the rib of a man (and that rib was so insignificant to him that he never seemed to notice it was gone)—I’m quite amazed by our virtues and not at all surprised by our flaws.
“I am wandering a little; I am losing myself in serious thought, like that sweet character in Shakespeare who was ‘fancy free.’ One last word, dearest, to say that my longing for an answer to this proceeds entirely from my wish to hear from you again in your old friendly tone, and is quite unconnected with any curiosity to know what you are doing at Thorpe Ambrose—except such curiosity as you yourself might approve. Need I add that I beg you as a favor to me to renew, on the customary terms? I refer to the little bill due on Tuesday next, and I venture to suggest that day six weeks.
“I’m a bit lost in thought, just like that carefree character in Shakespeare. One last thing, my dear: my need for an answer comes solely from my desire to hear from you again in your usual friendly way, and has nothing to do with any curiosity about what you’re up to at Thorpe Ambrose—other than the curiosity that you might be okay with. Should I mention that I’m asking you as a favor to me to renew it on the usual terms? I’m talking about the little bill that’s due next Tuesday, and I’d like to suggest a due date of six weeks from now.”
“Yours, with a truly motherly feeling,
“Yours, with a genuinely motherly feeling,
“MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
“MARIA OLDERSHAW.”
9. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
9. From Miss Gwilt to Mrs. Oldershaw.
“Paradise Place, July 27th.
Paradise Place, July 27.
“I have just got your last letter. The brazen impudence of it has roused me. I am to be treated like a child, am I?—to be threatened first, and then, if threatening fails, to be coaxed afterward? You shall coax me; you shall know, my motherly friend, the sort of child you have to deal with.
“I just got your last letter. The bold audacity of it has stirred me up. Am I supposed to be treated like a child?—first being threatened, and then, if that doesn’t work, being sweet-talked? You will sweet-talk me; you will learn, my motherly friend, what kind of child you’re dealing with.
“I had a reason, Mrs. Oldershaw, for the silence which has so seriously offended you. I was afraid—actually afraid—to let you into the secret of my thoughts. No such fear troubles me now. My only anxiety this morning is to make you my best acknowledgments for the manner in which you have written to me. After carefully considering it, I think the worst turn I can possibly do you is to tell you what you are burning to know. So here I am at my desk, bent on telling it. If you don’t bitterly repent, when you are at the end of this letter, not having held to your first resolution, and locked me up out of harm’s way while you had the chance, my name is not Lydia Gwilt.
“I had a reason, Mrs. Oldershaw, for the silence that has upset you so much. I was genuinely afraid to share my thoughts with you. That fear doesn’t bother me anymore. My only concern this morning is to sincerely thank you for the way you've written to me. After thinking it over, I believe the worst thing I can do to you is to tell you what you're eager to know. So here I am at my desk, ready to share it. If you don’t deeply regret not sticking to your original decision and keeping me safely away while you had the chance, then my name isn’t Lydia Gwilt.”
“Where did my last letter end? I don’t remember, and don’t care. Make it out as you can—I am not going back any further than this day week. That is to say, Sunday last.
“Where did my last letter leave off? I don’t remember, and I don’t care. Figure it out as best as you can—I’m not going back any further than exactly a week ago. That is to say, last Sunday.”
“There was a thunder-storm in the morning. It began to clear off toward noon. I didn’t go out: I waited to see Midwinter or to hear from him. (Are you surprised at my not writing ‘Mr.’ before his name? We have got so familiar, my dear, that ‘Mr.’ would be quite out of place.) He had left me the evening before, under very interesting circumstances. I had told him that his friend Armadale was persecuting me by means of a hired spy. He had declined to believe it, and had gone straight to Thorpe Ambrose to clear the thing up. I let him kiss my hand before he went. He promised to come back the next day (the Sunday). I felt I had secured my influence over him; and I believed he would keep his word.
“There was a thunderstorm in the morning. It started to clear up around noon. I didn’t go outside: I waited to see Midwinter or hear from him. (Are you surprised I’m not calling him ‘Mr.’? We’ve become so close, my dear, that ‘Mr.’ feels completely inappropriate.) He had left me the night before under very interesting circumstances. I had told him that his friend Armadale was harassing me with a hired spy. He didn’t believe it and went straight to Thorpe Ambrose to sort it out. I let him kiss my hand before he left. He promised to come back the next day (Sunday). I felt like I had secured my influence over him, and I believed he would keep his promise.”
“Well, the thunder passed away as I told you. The weather cleared up; the people walked out in their best clothes; the dinners came in from the bakers; I sat dreaming at my wretched little hired piano, nicely dressed and looking my best—and still no Midwinter appeared. It was late in the afternoon, and I was beginning to feel offended, when a letter was brought to me. It had been left by a strange messenger who went away again immediately. I looked at the letter. Midwinter at last—in writing, instead of in person. I began to feel more offended than ever; for, as I told you, I thought I had used my influence over him to better purpose.
“Well, the thunder passed like I mentioned. The weather cleared up; people stepped out in their best outfits; the dinners arrived from the bakers; I sat there daydreaming at my miserable little rented piano, all dressed up and looking my best—and still no Midwinter showed up. It was late in the afternoon, and I was starting to feel insulted when a letter was delivered to me. It had been dropped off by a strange messenger who left right after. I looked at the letter. Midwinter at last—in writing, instead of in person. I started to feel more insulted than ever because, as I told you, I thought I had used my influence over him more effectively.”
“The letter, when I read it, set my mind off in a new direction. It surprised, it puzzled, it interested me. I thought, and thought, and thought of him, all the rest of the day.
“The letter, when I read it, took my thoughts in a new direction. It surprised me, confused me, and intrigued me. I kept thinking about him the rest of the day.”
“He began by asking my pardon for having doubted what I told him. Mr. Armadale’s own lips had confirmed me. They had quarreled (as I had anticipated they would); and he, and the man who had once been his dearest friend on earth, had parted forever. So far, I was not surprised. I was amused by his telling me in his extravagant way that he and his friend were parted forever; and I rather wondered what he would think when I carried out my plan, and found my way into the great house on pretense of reconciling them.
“He started by apologizing for doubting what I had told him. Mr. Armadale’s own words confirmed my account. They had fought (just as I expected they would); and he and the man who had once been his closest friend had split for good. I wasn't shocked by this. I found it amusing when he dramatically told me that he and his friend were done for good; I couldn’t help but wonder how he would react when I went through with my plan to get into the big house pretending to reconcile them.”
“But the second part of the letter set me thinking. Here it is, in his own words.
“But the second part of the letter got me thinking. Here it is, in his own words."
“‘It is only by struggling against myself (and no language can say how hard the struggle has been) that I have decided on writing, instead of speaking to you. A merciless necessity claims my future life. I must leave Thorpe Ambrose, I must leave England, without hesitating, without stopping to look back. There are reasons—terrible reasons, which I have madly trifled with—for my never letting Mr. Armadale set eyes on me, or hear of me again, after what has happened between us. I must go, never more to live under the same roof, never more to breathe the same air with that man. I must hide myself from him under an assumed name; I must put the mountains and the seas between us. I have been warned as no human creature was ever warned before. I believe—I dare not tell you why—I believe that, if the fascination you have for me draws me back to you, fatal consequences will come of it to the man whose life has been so strangely mingled with your life and mine—the man who was once your admirer and my friend. And yet, feeling this, seeing it in my mind as plainly as I see the sky above my head, there is a weakness in me that still shrinks from the one imperative sacrifice of never seeing you again. I am fighting with it as a man fights with the strength of his despair. I have been near enough, not an hour since, to see the house where you live, and have forced myself away again out of sight of it. Can I force myself away further still, now that my letter is written—now, when the useless confession escapes me, and I own to loving you with the first love I have ever known, with the last love I shall ever feel? Let the coming time answer the question; I dare not write of it or think of it more.’
“‘I’ve only decided to write to you instead of talking because I’ve been struggling against myself (and no words can express how hard that struggle has been). A relentless necessity is dictating my future. I have to leave Thorpe Ambrose, I have to leave England, without hesitating or looking back. There are reasons—terrible reasons that I’ve foolishly ignored—for why I can never let Mr. Armadale see me or hear from me again, after everything that’s happened between us. I must go, never to live under the same roof or breathe the same air as that man again. I need to hide from him under a fake name; I must put mountains and seas between us. I've been warned like no one else ever has been. I believe—I can’t explain why—I believe that if the pull you have on me brings me back to you, there will be disastrous consequences for the man whose life has been so oddly intertwined with yours and mine—the man who was once your admirer and my friend. And yet, even though I feel this and see it clearly in my mind, just as I see the sky above me, there’s a weakness in me that still recoils from the single unavoidable sacrifice of never seeing you again. I’m fighting against it like a man battling the weight of his despair. Just an hour ago, I was close enough to see the house where you live, and I forced myself to turn away. Can I force myself to go even further now that my letter is written—now that this useless confession has slipped out, and I admit that I love you with the first love I’ve ever known, and with the last love I will ever feel? Let time answer that question; I can’t write about it or think about it anymore.’
“Those were the last words. In that strange way the letter ended.
“Those were the last words. In that strange way, the letter ended.
“I felt a perfect fever of curiosity to know what he meant. His loving me, of course, was easy enough to understand. But what did he mean by saying he had been warned? Why was he never to live under the same roof, never to breathe the same air again, with young Armadale? What sort of quarrel could it be which obliged one man to hide himself from another under an assumed name, and to put the mountains and the seas between them? Above all, if he came back, and let me fascinate him, why should it be fatal to the hateful lout who possesses the noble fortune and lives in the great house?
“I felt an intense curiosity to understand what he meant. His love for me, of course, was straightforward enough. But what did he mean about being warned? Why could he never live under the same roof or breathe the same air as young Armadale again? What kind of conflict could make one man hide from another with a fake name and put mountains and oceans between them? Most importantly, if he returned and I captivated him, why would it be detrimental to that despicable guy who has the fortune and lives in the big house?”
“I never longed in my life as I longed to see him again and put these questions to him. I got quite superstitious about it as the day drew on. They gave me a sweet-bread and a cherry pudding for dinner. I actually tried if he would come back by the stones in the plate! He will, he won’t, he will, he won’t—and so on. It ended in ‘He won’t.’ I rang the bell, and had the things taken away. I contradicted Destiny quite fiercely. I said, ‘He will!’ and I waited at home for him.
“I never wanted anything in my life as much as I wanted to see him again and ask him these questions. I got pretty superstitious about it as the day went on. They served me sweetbreads and cherry pudding for dinner. I even tried to figure out if he would come back by the stones on the plate! He will, he won’t, he will, he won’t—and so on. It ended with ‘He won’t.’ I rang the bell and had the dishes taken away. I defiantly contradicted Fate. I said, ‘He will!’ and I waited at home for him.”
“You don’t know what a pleasure it is to me to give you all these little particulars. Count up—my bosom friend, my second mother—count up the money you have advanced on the chance of my becoming Mrs. Armadale, and then think of my feeling this breathless interest in another man. Oh, Mrs. Oldershaw, how intensely I enjoy the luxury of irritating you!
“You don’t know how much pleasure it gives me to share all these little details with you. Just think about—my closest friend, my second mom—add up the money you’ve lent me based on the hope of my becoming Mrs. Armadale, and then consider how I feel this breathless excitement for another man. Oh, Mrs. Oldershaw, I absolutely love the thrill of getting under your skin!
“The day got on toward evening. I rang again, and sent down to borrow a railway time-table. What trains were there to take him away on Sunday? The national respect for the Sabbath stood my friend. There was only one train, which had started hours before he wrote to me. I went and consulted my glass. It paid me the compliment of contradicting the divination by cherry-stones. My glass said: ‘Get behind the window-curtain; he won’t pass the long lonely evening without coming back again to look at the house.’ I got behind the window-curtain, and waited with his letter in my hand.
“The day moved toward evening. I rang again and asked to borrow a train schedule. What trains were there to take him away on Sunday? My friend’s commitment to the Sabbath was strong. There was only one train, which had already left hours before he wrote to me. I went to check my reflection. It surprisingly disagreed with the reading from cherry stones. My reflection said: ‘Get behind the curtain; he won’t spend the long, lonely evening without coming back to check on the house.’ I got behind the curtain and waited with his letter in my hand.”
“The dismal Sunday light faded, and the dismal Sunday quietness in the street grew quieter still. The dusk came, and I heard a step coming with it in the silence. My heart gave a little jump—only think of my having any heart left! I said to myself: ‘Midwinter!’ And Midwinter it was.
“The gloomy Sunday light faded, and the gloomy Sunday silence in the street grew even quieter. Dusk arrived, and I heard footsteps approaching in the stillness. My heart skipped a beat—just think, I still had a heart! I thought to myself: ‘Midwinter!’ And indeed, it was Midwinter.”
“When he came in sight he was walking slowly, stopping and hesitating at every two or three steps. My ugly little drawing-room window seemed to be beckoning him on in spite of himself. After waiting till I saw him come to a standstill, a little aside from the house, but still within view of my irresistible window, I put on my things and slipped out by the back way into the garden. The landlord and his family were at supper, and nobody saw me. I opened the door in the wall, and got round by the lane into the street. At that awkward moment I suddenly remembered, what I had forgotten before, the spy set to watch me, who was, no doubt, waiting somewhere in sight of the house.
“When he came into view, he was walking slowly, stopping and hesitating every two or three steps. My unattractive little drawing-room window seemed to be inviting him in, whether he wanted to or not. After waiting until I saw him come to a stop, a little off to the side of the house but still within sight of my tempting window, I put on my things and quietly slipped out the back way into the garden. The landlord and his family were having dinner, so nobody noticed me. I opened the door in the wall and made my way around the lane into the street. At that awkward moment, I suddenly remembered, as I had forgotten before, the spy who was watching me, who was probably waiting somewhere in view of the house.”
“It was necessary to get time to think, and it was (in my state of mind) impossible to let Midwinter go without speaking to him. In great difficulties you generally decide at once, if you decide at all. I decided to make an appointment with him for the next evening, and to consider in the interval how to manage the interview so that it might escape observation. This, as I felt at the time, was leaving my own curiosity free to torment me for four-and-twenty mortal hours; but what other choice had I? It was as good as giving up being mistress of Thorpe Ambrose altogether, to come to a private understanding with Midwinter in the sight and possibly in the hearing of Armadale’s spy.
“It was important to take some time to think, and in my current state of mind, it was unthinkable to let Midwinter go without talking to him. When faced with serious challenges, you usually make a decision right away, if you make one at all. I decided to schedule a meeting with him for the next evening and to think in the meantime about how to handle the meeting so that it wouldn’t attract attention. I realized at the time that this meant allowing my own curiosity to drive me crazy for a whole twenty-four hours, but what other option did I have? It felt like giving up control over Thorpe Ambrose completely to come to a private agreement with Midwinter in front of Armadale’s spy, who could be watching and possibly listening.”
“Finding an old letter of yours in my pocket, I drew back into the lane, and wrote on the blank leaf, with the little pencil that hangs at my watch-chain: ‘I must and will speak to you. It is impossible to-night, but be in the street to-morrow at this time, and leave me afterward forever, if you like. When you have read this, overtake me, and say as you pass, without stopping or looking round, “Yes, I promise.”’
“Finding an old letter of yours in my pocket, I stepped back into the lane and wrote on the blank page with the small pencil that hangs from my watch chain: ‘I must and will talk to you. It's not possible tonight, but be in the street tomorrow at this time, and leave me afterward forever, if that's what you want. Once you’ve read this, catch up to me and say as you pass by, without stopping or looking back, “Yes, I promise.”’”
“I folded up the paper, and came on him suddenly from behind. As he started and turned round, I put the note into his hand, pressed his hand, and passed on. Before I had taken ten steps I heard him behind me. I can’t say he didn’t look round—I saw his big black eyes, bright and glittering in the dusk, devour me from head to foot in a moment; but otherwise he did what I told him. ‘I can deny you nothing,’ he whispered; ‘I promise.’ He went on and left me. I couldn’t help thinking at the time how that brute and booby Armadale would have spoiled everything in the same situation.
“I folded the paper and came up to him suddenly from behind. As he startled and turned around, I put the note in his hand, squeezed his hand, and moved on. Before I had taken ten steps, I heard him behind me. I can’t say he didn’t look back—I saw his big black eyes, bright and sparkling in the dusk, take me in from head to toe in an instant; but otherwise he did what I asked him to. ‘I can’t refuse you anything,’ he whispered; ‘I promise.’ He moved on and left me. I couldn’t help but think at that moment how that brute and fool Armadale would have ruined everything in the same situation.”
“I tried hard all night to think of a way of making our interview of the next evening safe from discovery, and tried in vain. Even as early as this, I began to feel as if Midwinter’s letter had, in some unaccountable manner, stupefied me.
“I worked hard all night trying to come up with a way to keep our interview tomorrow evening hidden, but I couldn’t find a solution. Even at this point, I started to feel like Midwinter’s letter had somehow left me in a daze.”
“Monday morning made matters worse. News came from my faithful ally, Mr. Bashwood, that Miss Milroy and Armadale had met and become friends again. You may fancy the state I was in! An hour or two later there came more news from Mr. Bashwood—good news this time. The mischievous idiot at Thorpe Ambrose had shown sense enough at last to be ashamed of himself. He had decided on withdrawing the spy that very day, and he and his lawyer had quarreled in consequence.
“Monday morning made things worse. I heard from my loyal friend, Mr. Bashwood, that Miss Milroy and Armadale had met up and become friends again. You can imagine how I felt! A couple of hours later, more news came from Mr. Bashwood—good news this time. The troublesome fool at Thorpe Ambrose finally showed some sense and felt ashamed of himself. He decided to pull the spy that very day, and he ended up arguing with his lawyer because of it.”
“So here was the obstacle which I was too stupid to remove for myself obligingly removed for me! No more need to fret about the coming interview with Midwinter; and plenty of time to consider my next proceedings, now that Miss Milroy and her precious swain had come together again. Would you believe it, the letter, or the man himself (I don’t know which), had taken such a hold on me that, though I tried and tried, I could think of nothing else; and this when I had every reason to fear that Miss Milroy was in a fair way of changing her name to Armadale, and when I knew that my heavy debt of obligation to her was not paid yet? Was there ever such perversity? I can’t account for it; can you?
“So here was the obstacle that I was too foolish to remove for myself, but it was taken care of for me! I no longer had to worry about the upcoming interview with Midwinter, and I had plenty of time to think about my next steps now that Miss Milroy and her precious boyfriend were back together. Would you believe it? The letter, or the man himself (I’m not sure which), had such a grip on me that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of anything else. And this was when I had every reason to worry that Miss Milroy was likely to change her name to Armadale, all while knowing my heavy debt of gratitude to her wasn’t settled yet? Was there ever such stubbornness? I can’t explain it; can you?”
“The dusk of the evening came at last. I looked out of the window—and there he was!
“The evening finally turned to dusk. I looked out of the window—and there he was!
“I joined him at once; the people of the house, as before, being too much absorbed in their eating and drinking to notice anything else. ‘We mustn’t be seen together here,’ I whispered. ‘I must go on first, and you must follow me.’
“I joined him right away; the people in the house, as before, were too focused on their eating and drinking to notice anything else. ‘We can’t be seen together here,’ I whispered. ‘I need to go ahead first, and you have to follow me.’”
“He said nothing in the way of reply. What was going on in his mind I can’t pretend to guess; but, after coming to his appointment, he actually hung back as if he was half inclined to go away again.
“He said nothing in response. I can’t even guess what was on his mind; but after arriving for his appointment, he actually hesitated as if he was somewhat tempted to leave again.”
“‘You look as if you were afraid of me,’ I said.
“‘You look like you’re scared of me,’ I said.”
“‘I am afraid of you,’ he answered—‘of you, and of myself.’
“‘I am afraid of you,’ he replied—‘of you, and of myself.’”
“It was not encouraging; it was not complimentary. But I was in such a frenzy of curiosity by this time that, if he had been ruder still, I should have taken no notice of it. I led the way a few steps toward the new buildings, and stopped and looked round after him.
“It wasn't uplifting; it wasn't flattering. But I was so curious at this point that, even if he had been even ruder, I wouldn't have paid any attention to it. I took a few steps toward the new buildings, then stopped and looked back at him.”
“‘Must I ask it of you as a favor,’ I said, ‘after your giving me your promise, and after such a letter as you have written to me?’
“‘Do I need to ask you for this as a favor,’ I said, ‘after you promised me, and after the letter you wrote to me?’”
“Something suddenly changed him; he was at my side in an instant. ‘I beg your pardon, Miss Gwilt; lead the way where you please.’ He dropped back a little after that answer, and I heard him say to himself, ‘What is to be will be. What have I to do with it, and what has she?’
“Something suddenly changed him; he was by my side in an instant. ‘I’m sorry, Miss Gwilt; lead the way wherever you’d like.’ He fell back a bit after that reply, and I heard him mutter to himself, ‘What will be, will be. What does it have to do with me, and what does it have to do with her?’”
“It could hardly have been the words, for I didn’t understand them—it must have been the tone he spoke in, I suppose, that made me feel a momentary tremor. I was half inclined, without the ghost of a reason for it, to wish him good-night, and go in again. Not much like me, you will say. Not much, indeed! It didn’t last a moment. Your darling Lydia soon came to her senses again.
“It probably wasn’t the words, because I didn't get them—it must have been the way he spoke that made me feel a brief shiver. I was sort of inclined, for no good reason, to say goodnight to him and go back inside. Not very much like me, you might say. Not at all! It didn't last long. Your beloved Lydia quickly regained her composure.
“I led the way toward the unfinished cottages, and the country beyond. It would have been much more to my taste to have had him into the house, and have talked to him in the light of the candles. But I had risked it once already; and in this scandal-mongering place, and in my critical position, I was afraid to risk it again. The garden was not to be thought of either, for the landlord smokes his pipe there after his supper. There was no alternative but to take him away from the town.
“I took the lead toward the unfinished cottages and the countryside beyond. I would have preferred to invite him inside and have a candlelit conversation. But I had already taken that chance once, and in this gossip-filled place, especially in my sensitive situation, I was afraid to do it again. The garden wasn’t an option either, since the landlord smokes his pipe there after dinner. There was no choice but to get him away from the town.”
“From time to time, I looked back as I went on. There he was, always at the same distance, dim and ghost-like in the dusk, silently following me.
“From time to time, I glanced back as I walked on. There he was, always at the same distance, faint and ghostly in the twilight, quietly trailing me.”
“I must leave off for a little while. The church bells have broken out, and the jangling of them drives me mad. In these days, when we have all got watches and clocks, why are bells wanted to remind us when the service begins? We don’t require to be rung into the theater. How excessively discreditable to the clergy to be obliged to ring us into the church!”
“I need to take a break for a bit. The church bells are ringing, and the noise is driving me crazy. Nowadays, when we all have watches and clocks, why do we need bells to remind us when the service starts? We don’t need to be called into the theater. How embarrassing for the clergy to have to ring us into church!”
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Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.
“They have rung the congregation in at last; and I can take up my pen, and go on again.
“They've finally called the congregation together; so I can pick up my pen and keep going.”
“I was a little in doubt where to lead him to. The high-road was on one side of me; but, empty as it looked, somebody might be passing when we least expected it. The other way was through the coppice. I led him through the coppice.
“I was a bit unsure where to take him. The main road was on one side of me, but even though it looked empty, someone might pass by when we least expected it. The other option was through the thicket. I took him through the thicket.”
“At the outskirts of the trees, on the other side, there was a dip in the ground with some felled timber lying on it, and a little pool beyond, still and white and shining in the twilight. The long grazing-grounds rose over its further shore, with the mist thickening on them, and a dim black line far away of cattle in slow procession going home. There wasn’t a living creature near; there wasn’t a sound to be heard. I sat down on one of the felled trees and looked back for him. ‘Come,’ I said, softly—‘come and sit by me here.’
“At the edge of the trees, on the other side, there was a dip in the ground with some fallen logs lying on it, and a little pool beyond, still and white and shining in the twilight. The long grazing fields rose over its far shore, with the mist thickening on them, and a faint black line far away of cattle slowly making their way home. There wasn’t a living creature nearby; there wasn’t a sound to be heard. I sat down on one of the fallen trees and looked back for him. ‘Come,’ I said softly—‘come and sit by me here.’”
“Why am I so particular about all this? I hardly know. The place made an unaccountably vivid impression on me, and I can’t help writing about it. If I end badly—suppose we say on the scaffold?—I believe the last thing I shall see, before the hangman pulls the drop, will be the little shining pool, and the long, misty grazing-grounds, and the cattle winding dimly home in the thickening night. Don’t be alarmed, you worthy creature! My fancies play me strange tricks sometimes; and there is a little of last night’s laudanum, I dare say, in this part of my letter.
“Why am I so picky about all this? I can’t really say. The place left an oddly strong impression on me, and I can’t help but write about it. If things go south—let's say on the scaffold?—I believe the last thing I’ll see, before the hangman pulls the lever, will be the little shining pool, the vast, foggy grazing fields, and the cattle slowly making their way home in the growing darkness. Don’t worry, you good person! My thoughts sometimes lead me to strange places; and there’s probably a bit of last night’s laudanum still in my system as I write this part of my letter.
“He came—in the strangest silent way, like a man walking in his sleep—he came and sat down by me. Either the night was very close, or I was by this time literally in a fever: I couldn’t bear my bonnet on; I couldn’t bear my gloves. The want to look at him, and see what his singular silence meant, and the impossibility of doing it in the darkening light, irritated my nerves, till I thought I should have screamed. I took his hand, to try if that would help me. It was burning hot; and it closed instantly on mine—you know how. Silence, after that, was not to be thought of. The one safe way was to begin talking to him at once.
“He approached—in the strangest, quietest way, like a sleepwalker—he came and sat next to me. Either the night was incredibly close, or I was starting to feel feverish: I couldn’t stand having my bonnet on; I couldn’t handle wearing my gloves. The urge to look at him, to understand what his unusual silence meant, and the difficulty of doing so in the fading light, drove me to the brink of screaming. I took his hand, hoping that would calm me. It was burning hot, and it instantly closed around mine—you know how that goes. After that, silence was not an option. The only safe route was to start talking to him right away.
“‘Don’t despise me,’ I said. ‘I am obliged to bring you to this lonely place; I should lose my character if we were seen together.’
“‘Please don’t look down on me,’ I said. ‘I have to bring you to this secluded place; my reputation is at stake if we’re seen together.’”
“I waited a little. His hand warned me once more not to let the silence continue. I determined to make him speak to me this time.
“I waited a bit. His hand signaled me again not to let the silence go on. I decided to get him to talk to me this time.”
“‘You have interested me, and frightened me,’ I went on. ‘You have written me a very strange letter. I must know what it means.’
“‘You have caught my attention and scared me,’ I continued. ‘You’ve written me a really odd letter. I need to understand what it means.’”
“‘It is too late to ask. You have taken the way, and I have taken the way, from which there is no turning back.’ He made that strange answer in a tone that was quite new to me—a tone that made me even more uneasy than his silence had made me the moment before. ‘Too late,’ he repeated—‘too late! There is only one question to ask me now.’
“‘It’s too late to ask. You have chosen your path, and I have chosen mine, and there’s no turning back now.’ He gave that strange response in a tone I’d never heard before—a tone that made me feel even more uncomfortable than his silence had just moments ago. ‘Too late,’ he repeated—‘too late! There's only one question you can ask me now.’”
“‘What is it?’
"What's up?"
“As I said the words, a sudden trembling passed from his hand to mine, and told me instantly that I had better have held my tongue. Before I could move, before I could think, he had me in his arms. ‘Ask me if I love you,’ he whispered. At the same moment his head sank on my bosom; and some unutterable torture that was in him burst its way out, as it does with us, in a passion of sobs and tears.
“As I spoke, a sudden shiver traveled from his hand to mine, instantly telling me I should have kept quiet. Before I could react, before I could think, he had me in his arms. ‘Ask me if I love you,’ he whispered. At that moment, his head dropped onto my chest, and some indescribable pain within him erupted, like it does with us, in a torrent of sobs and tears."
“My first impulse was the impulse of a fool. I was on the point of making our usual protest and defending myself in our usual way. Luckily or unluckily, I don’t know which, I have lost the fine edge of the sensitiveness of youth; and I checked the first movement of my hands, and the first word on my lips. Oh, dear, how old I felt, while he was sobbing his heart out on my breast! How I thought of the time when he might have possessed himself of my love! All he had possessed himself of now was—my waist.
“My first instinct was a foolish one. I was about to make our usual complaint and defend myself in our typical way. Fortunately or unfortunately, I can't tell which, I've lost the sharp sensitivity of youth; and I stopped myself from moving my hands and saying the first thing that came to my mind. Oh, how old I felt while he was crying his heart out against me! I thought about the times when he could have captured my love! All he had captured now was—my waist.
“I wonder whether I pitied him? It doesn’t matter if I did. At any rate, my hand lifted itself somehow, and my fingers twined themselves softly in his hair. Horrible recollections came back to me of other times, and made me shudder as I touched him. And yet I did it. What fools women are!
“I wonder if I felt sorry for him? It doesn’t really matter if I did. Anyway, my hand somehow reached up, and my fingers gently tangled in his hair. Terrible memories flooded back to me from other times, and I shuddered as I touched him. And still, I did it. What fools women are!”
“‘I won’t reproach you,’ I said, gently. ‘I won’t say this is a cruel advantage to take of me, in such a position as mine. You are dreadfully agitated; I will let you wait a little and compose yourself.’
“I won’t blame you,” I said softly. “I won’t say this is a harsh advantage to take of me, given my situation. You’re incredibly upset; I’ll let you take a moment to calm down.”
“Having got as far as that, I stopped to consider how I should put the questions to him that I was burning to ask. But I was too confused, I suppose, or perhaps too impatient to consider. I let out what was uppermost in my mind, in the words that came first.
“Having gotten that far, I paused to think about how to ask him the questions that I really wanted to know. But I was too mixed up, I guess, or maybe too eager to think it through. I just blurted out what was on my mind, using the first words that came to me.”
“‘I don’t believe you love me,’ I said. ‘You write strange things to me; you frighten me with mysteries. What did you mean by saying in your letter that it would be fatal to Mr. Armadale if you came back to me? What danger can there be to Mr. Armadale—?’
“‘I don’t believe you love me,’ I said. ‘You write weird things to me; you scare me with all these mysteries. What did you mean when you said in your letter that it would be deadly for Mr. Armadale if you came back to me? What danger could there possibly be to Mr. Armadale—?’”
“Before I could finish the question, he suddenly lifted his head and unclasped his arms. I had apparently touched some painful subject which recalled him to himself. Instead of my shrinking from him, it was he who shrank from me. I felt offended with him; why, I don’t know—but offended I was; and I thanked him with my bitterest emphasis for remembering what was due to me, at last!
“Before I could finish my question, he suddenly looked up and uncrossed his arms. It seemed I had hit on a painful topic that brought him back to reality. Instead of me pulling away from him, he was the one who pulled away from me. I felt hurt by him; I don't know why—but I did feel hurt; and I thanked him with my most bitter tone for finally acknowledging what he owed me!”
“‘Do you believe in Dreams?’ he burst out, in the most strangely abrupt manner, without taking the slightest notice of what I had said to him. ‘Tell me,’ he went on, without allowing me time to answer, ‘were you, or was any relation of yours, ever connected with Allan Armadale’s father or mother? Were you, or was anybody belonging to you, ever in the island of Madeira?’
“‘Do you believe in dreams?’ he suddenly exclaimed, in a really odd way, completely ignoring what I had just said. ‘Tell me,’ he continued, without giving me a chance to reply, ‘were you, or any of your relatives, ever connected to Allan Armadale’s dad or mom? Were you, or anyone in your family, ever on the island of Madeira?’”
“Conceive my astonishment, if you can. I turned cold. In an instant I turned cold all over. He was plainly in the secret of what had happened when I was in Mrs. Armadale’s service in Madeira—in all probability before he was born! That was startling enough of itself. And he had evidently some reason of his own for trying to connect me with those events—which was more startling still.
“Imagine my shock, if you can. I felt a chill run through me. In an instant, I felt cold all over. He clearly knew about what had happened when I was working for Mrs. Armadale in Madeira—probably before he was even born! That was shocking enough on its own. And he clearly had his own reasons for trying to link me to those events—which was even more surprising.
“‘No,’ I said, as soon as I could trust myself to speak. ‘I know nothing of his father or mother.’
“‘No,’ I said, as soon as I could trust myself to speak. ‘I don’t know anything about his dad or mom.’”
“‘And nothing of the island of Madeira?’
“‘And nothing about the island of Madeira?’”
“‘Nothing of the island of Madeira.’
“‘Nothing from the island of Madeira.’”
“He turned his head away, and began talking to himself.
“He turned his head away and started talking to himself.
“‘Strange!’ he said. ‘As certainly as I was in the Shadow’s place at the window, she was in the Shadow’s place at the pool!’
“‘Weird!’ he said. ‘Just like I was in the Shadow’s spot at the window, she was in the Shadow’s spot at the pool!’”
“Under other circumstances, his extraordinary behavior might have alarmed me. But after his question about Madeira, there was some greater fear in me which kept all common alarm at a distance. I don’t think I ever determined on anything in my life as I determined on finding out how he had got his information, and who he really was. It was quite plain to me that I had roused some hidden feeling in him by my question about Armadale, which was as strong in its way as his feeling for me. What had become of my influence over him?
“Under different circumstances, his strange behavior would have worried me. But after he asked about Madeira, there was a deeper fear inside me that kept any usual concern at bay. I don’t think I've ever been as determined about anything in my life as I was to find out how he got his information, and who he really was. It was clear to me that my question about Armadale had triggered some buried emotion in him, which was as intense in its own way as his feelings for me. What happened to my influence over him?"
“I couldn’t imagine what had become of it; but I could and did set to work to make him feel it again.
“I couldn’t picture what had happened to it; but I could and did get to work to make him feel it again.”
“‘Don’t treat me cruelly,’ I said; ‘I didn’t treat you cruelly just now. Oh, Mr. Midwinter, it’s so lonely, it’s so dark—don’t frighten me!’
“‘Don’t be cruel to me,’ I said; ‘I didn’t treat you cruelly just now. Oh, Mr. Midwinter, it’s so lonely, it’s so dark—don’t scare me!’”
“‘Frighten you!’ He was close to me again in a moment. ‘Frighten you!’ He repeated the word with as much astonishment as if I had woke him from a dream, and charged him with something that he had said in his sleep.
“‘Frighten you!’ He was right next to me again in an instant. ‘Frighten you!’ He repeated the word with as much surprise as if I had jolted him awake from a dream, accusing him of something he had said in his sleep.
“It was on the tip of my tongue, finding how I had surprised him, to take him while he was off his guard, and to ask why my question about Armadale had produced such a change in his behavior to me. But after what had happened already, I was afraid to risk returning to the subject too soon. Something or other—what they call an instinct, I dare say—warned me to let Armadale alone for the present, and to talk to him first about himself. As I told you in one of my early letters, I had noticed signs and tokens in his manner and appearance which convinced me, young as he was, that he had done something or suffered something out of the common in his past life. I had asked myself more and more suspiciously every time I saw him whether he was what he appeared to be; and first and foremost among my other doubts was a doubt whether he was passing among us by his real name. Having secrets to keep about my own past life, and having gone myself in other days by more than one assumed name, I suppose I am all the readier to suspect other people when I find something mysterious about them. Any way, having the suspicion in my mind, I determined to startle him, as he had startled me, by an unexpected question on my side—a question about his name.
“It was right on the tip of my tongue to ask him why my question about Armadale had thrown him off balance and changed how he acted toward me. But after everything that had happened, I was nervous about bringing it up too soon. Something—what they call an instinct, I suppose—told me to leave Armadale alone for now and to focus on him first. As I mentioned in one of my earlier letters, I had noticed signs in his behavior and looks that made me believe, despite his young age, that he had experienced something unusual in his past. Each time I saw him, I grew increasingly suspicious, questioning whether he was really who he appeared to be; one of my biggest doubts was whether he was using his real name. Having my own secrets from my past and having gone by different names myself, I guess I’m more likely to be suspicious of others when I sense something mysterious about them. Anyway, with that suspicion in my mind, I decided to catch him off guard, just as he had caught me, with an unexpected question—something about his name.”
“While I was thinking, he was thinking; and, as it soon appeared, of what I had just said to him. ‘I am so grieved to have frightened you,’ he whispered, with that gentleness and humility which we all so heartily despise in a man when he speaks to other women, and which we all so dearly like when he speaks to ourselves. ‘I hardly know what I have been saying,’ he went on; ‘my mind is miserably disturbed. Pray forgive me, if you can; I am not myself to-night.’
“While I was thinking, he was thinking too; and, as it soon turned out, about what I had just said to him. ‘I’m really sorry for scaring you,’ he whispered, with that gentleness and humility we all really hate to see in a guy when he talks to other women, but that we all really appreciate when he talks to us. ‘I can barely remember what I’ve been saying,’ he continued; ‘my mind is a mess. Please forgive me if you can; I’m just not myself tonight.’”
“‘I am not angry,’ I said; ‘I have nothing to forgive. We are both imprudent; we are both unhappy.’ I laid my head on his shoulder. ‘Do you really love me?’ I asked him, softly, in a whisper.
“‘I’m not angry,’ I said; ‘I have nothing to forgive. We’re both careless; we’re both unhappy.’ I rested my head on his shoulder. ‘Do you really love me?’ I asked him softly, in a whisper.”
“His arm stole round me again; and I felt the quick beat of his heart get quicker and quicker. ‘If you only knew!’ he whispered back; ‘if you only knew—’ He could say no more. I felt his face bending toward mine, and dropped my head lower, and stopped him in the very act of kissing me.
“His arm wrapped around me again, and I could feel his heart racing faster and faster. ‘If you only knew!’ he whispered back; ‘if you only knew—’ He couldn’t say more. I felt his face lean toward mine, and I lowered my head, stopping him just as he was about to kiss me.”
“‘No,’ I said; ‘I am only a woman who has taken your fancy. You are treating me as if I was your promised wife.’
“‘No,’ I said; ‘I’m just a woman who has caught your eye. You’re treating me like I’m your fiancée.’”
“‘Be my promised wife!’ he whispered, eagerly, and tried to raise my head. I kept it down. The horror of these old remembrances that you know of came back and made me tremble a little when he asked me to be his wife. I don’t think I was actually faint; but something like faintness made me close my eyes. The moment I shut them, the darkness seemed to open as if lightning had split it; and the ghosts of those other men rose in the horrid gap, and looked at me.
“‘Be my promised wife!’ he whispered eagerly, trying to lift my chin. I kept my head down. The horror of those old memories that you know about came rushing back and made me tremble a bit when he asked me to marry him. I don’t think I actually fainted, but something like faintness made me close my eyes. The moment I shut them, the darkness felt like it split open as if struck by lightning, and the ghosts of those other men rose in the dreadful gap and stared at me.”
“‘Speak to me!’ he whispered, tenderly. ‘My darling, my angel, speak to me!’
“‘Talk to me!’ he whispered gently. ‘My love, my angel, talk to me!’”
“His voice helped me to recover myself. I had just sense enough left to remember that the time was passing, and that I had not put my question to him yet about his name.
“His voice helped me regain my composure. I had just enough awareness to remember that time was moving on, and I still hadn't asked him about his name.
“‘Suppose I felt for you as you feel for me?’ I said. ‘Suppose I loved you dearly enough to trust you with the happiness of all my life to come?’
“‘What if I felt for you the way you feel for me?’ I said. ‘What if I loved you so much that I was willing to trust you with my future happiness?’”
“I paused a moment to get my breath. It was unbearably still and close; the air seemed to have died when the night came.
“I paused for a moment to catch my breath. It was uncomfortably still and humid; the air felt like it had vanished when night fell."
“‘Would you be marrying me honorably,’ I went on, ‘if you married me in your present name?’
“‘Would you be marrying me honorably,’ I continued, ‘if you married me under your current name?’”
“His arm dropped from my waist, and I felt him give one great start. After that he sat by me, still, and cold, and silent, as if my question had struck him dumb. I put my arm round his neck, and lifted my head again on his shoulder. Whatever the spell was I had laid on him, my coming closer in that way seemed to break it.
“His arm fell from my waist, and I felt him suddenly tense up. After that, he sat next to me, still, cold, and silent, as if my question had left him speechless. I wrapped my arm around his neck and rested my head back on his shoulder. Whatever enchantment I had cast on him, getting closer like that seemed to shatter it.
“‘Who told you?’ He stopped. ‘No,’ he went on, ‘nobody can have told you. What made you suspect—?’ He stopped again.
“‘Who told you?’ He paused. ‘No,’ he continued, ‘nobody could have told you. What made you suspect—?’ He paused again.
“‘Nobody told me,’ I said; ‘and I don’t know what made me suspect. Women have strange fancies sometimes. Is Midwinter really your name?’
“‘Nobody told me,’ I said; ‘and I don’t know what made me suspicious. Women have odd ideas sometimes. Is Midwinter really your name?’”
“‘I can’t deceive you,’ he answered, after another interval of silence; ‘Midwinter is not really my name.’
“‘I can’t lie to you,’ he replied after another pause; ‘Midwinter is not really my name.’”
“I nestled a little closer to him.
“I settled a little closer to him.
“‘What is your name?’ I asked.
“‘What’s your name?’ I asked.
“He hesitated.
He paused.
“I lifted my face till my cheek just touched his. I persisted, with my lips close at his ear:
“I lifted my face until my cheek barely touched his. I leaned in, my lips just next to his ear:
“‘What, no confidence in me even yet! No confidence in the woman who has almost confessed she loves you—who has almost consented to be your wife!’
“‘What, you still don’t trust me! You don’t trust the woman who has almost admitted she loves you—who has almost agreed to be your wife!’”
“He turned his face to mine. For the second time he tried to kiss me, and for the second time I stopped him.
“He turned his face to mine. For the second time, he tried to kiss me, and for the second time, I stopped him.
“‘If I tell you my name,’ he said, ‘I must tell you more.’
“‘If I tell you my name,’ he said, ‘I have to tell you more.’”
“I let my cheek touch his again.
“I let my cheek brush against his again.
“‘Why not?’ I said. ‘How can I love a man—much less marry him—if he keeps himself a stranger to me?’
“‘Why not?’ I said. ‘How can I love a guy—let alone marry him—if he keeps himself a stranger to me?’”
“There was no answering that, as I thought. But he did answer it.
“There was no responding to that, as I thought. But he did respond.”
“‘It is a dreadful story,’ he said. ‘It may darken all your life, if you know it, as it has darkened mine.’
“‘It’s a terrible story,’ he said. ‘It could cast a shadow over your entire life if you know it, just like it has over mine.’”
“I put my other arm round him, and persisted. ‘Tell it me; I’m not afraid; tell it me.’
“I wrapped my other arm around him and kept insisting. ‘Just tell me; I’m not scared; just tell me.’”
“He began to yield to my other arm.
“He started to give in to my other arm.
“‘Will you keep it a sacred secret?’ he said. ‘Never to be breathed—never to be known but to you and me?’
“‘Will you keep it a sacred secret?’ he asked. ‘Never to be spoken of—never to be known by anyone but you and me?’”
“I promised him it should be a secret. I waited in a perfect frenzy of expectation. Twice he tried to begin, and twice his courage failed him.
“I promised him it would be a secret. I waited in a complete frenzy of anticipation. Twice he tried to start, and twice he lost his nerve.
“‘I can’t!’ he broke out in a wild, helpless way. ‘I can’t tell it!’
“‘I can’t!’ he exclaimed frantically. ‘I can’t say it!’”
“My curiosity, or more likely my temper, got beyond all control. He had irritated me till I was reckless what I said or what I did. I suddenly clasped him close, and pressed my lips to his. ‘I love you!’ I whispered in a kiss. ‘Now will you tell me?’
“My curiosity, or more likely my temper, got completely out of hand. He had annoyed me to the point where I didn’t care what I said or did. I suddenly pulled him close and pressed my lips to his. ‘I love you!’ I whispered during the kiss. ‘Now will you tell me?’”
“For the moment he was speechless. I don’t know whether I did it purposely to drive him wild. I don’t know whether I did it involuntarily in a burst of rage. Nothing is certain but that I interpreted his silence the wrong way. I pushed him back from me in a fury the instant after I had kissed him. ‘I hate you!’ I said. ‘You have maddened me into forgetting myself. Leave me. I don’t care for the darkness. Leave me instantly, and never see me again!’
“For the moment, he was speechless. I don’t know if I did it on purpose to drive him crazy. I don’t know if I did it unconsciously in a fit of anger. What’s certain is that I totally misunderstood his silence. I shoved him away from me in a rage the moment after I kissed him. ‘I hate you!’ I said. ‘You’ve made me forget myself. Just go. I don’t care about the darkness. Leave me now, and never see me again!’”
“He caught me by the hand and stopped me. He spoke in a new voice; he suddenly commanded, as only men can.
“He grabbed my hand and stopped me. He spoke in a different tone; he suddenly commanded, as only men can.
“‘Sit down,’ he said. ‘You have given me back my courage—you shall know who I am.’
“‘Sit down,’ he said. ‘You’ve restored my courage—you’ll find out who I am.’”
“In the silence and the darkness all round us, I obeyed him, and sat down.
“In the silence and darkness around us, I obeyed him and sat down."
“In the silence and the darkness all round us, he took me in his arms again, and told me who he was.”
“In the silence and darkness around us, he held me in his arms again and told me who he was.”
—————
Understood. Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.
“Shall I trust you with his story? Shall I tell you his real name? Shall I show you, as I threatened, the thoughts that have grown out of my interview with him and out of all that has happened to me since that time?
“Should I trust you with his story? Should I tell you his real name? Should I show you, as I warned, the thoughts that have come from my conversation with him and from everything that has happened to me since then?
“Or shall I keep his secret as I promised? and keep my own secret too, by bringing this weary, long letter to an end at the very moment when you are burning to hear more!
“Or should I keep his secret like I promised? And keep my own secret too, by wrapping up this long, tedious letter right when you’re eager to hear more!
“Those are serious questions, Mrs. Oldershaw—more serious than you suppose. I have had time to calm down, and I begin to see, what I failed to see when I first took up my pen to write to you, the wisdom of looking at consequences. Have I frightened myself in trying to frighten you? It is possible—strange as it may seem, it is really possible.
“Those are serious questions, Mrs. Oldershaw—more serious than you think. I’ve had time to calm down, and I’m starting to understand, what I didn’t see when I first wrote to you, the importance of considering the consequences. Did I scare myself while trying to scare you? It’s possible—strange as it may sound, it really is possible.”
“I have been at the window for the last minute or two, thinking. There is plenty of time for thinking before the post leaves. The people are only now coming out of church.
“I’ve been at the window for the last minute or two, thinking. There’s plenty of time to think before the post leaves. People are just now coming out of church.”
“I have settled to put my letter on one side, and to take a look at my diary. In plainer words I must see what I risk if I decide on trusting you; and my diary will show me what my head is too weary to calculate without help. I have written the story of my days (and sometimes the story of my nights) much more regularly than usual for the last week, having reasons of my own for being particularly careful in this respect under present circumstances. If I end in doing what it is now in my mind to do, it would be madness to trust to my memory. The smallest forgetfulness of the slightest event that has happened from the night of my interview with Midwinter to the present time might be utter ruin to me.
“I've decided to set my letter aside and check my diary. In simpler terms, I need to see what I risk if I choose to trust you, and my diary will show me what my tired mind isn't able to calculate alone. I've been writing about my days (and sometimes my nights) much more consistently than usual this past week, having my own reasons for being particularly cautious given the current situation. If I end up doing what I’m now thinking of doing, it would be crazy to rely on my memory. Even the tiniest slip in recalling the smallest event that has occurred since my meeting with Midwinter could lead to my total downfall."
“‘Utter ruin to her!’ you will say. ‘What kind of ruin does she mean?’
“‘Complete disaster for her!’ you will say. ‘What kind of disaster is she talking about?’
“Wait a little, till I have asked my diary whether I can safely tell you.”
“Hold on a sec, let me check my diary to see if I can safely tell you.”
X. MISS GWILT’S DIARY.
“July 21st, Monday night, eleven o’clock.—Midwinter has just left me. We parted by my desire at the path out of the coppice; he going his way to the hotel, and I going mine to my lodgings.
“July 21st, Monday night, eleven o’clock.—Midwinter has just left me. We parted as I wished at the pathway out of the woods; he went to the hotel, and I went to my place.”
“I have managed to avoid making another appointment with him by arranging to write to him to-morrow morning. This gives me the night’s interval to compose myself, and to coax my mind back (if I can) to my own affairs. Will the night pass, and the morning find me still thinking of the Letter that came to him from his father’s deathbed? of the night he watched through on the Wrecked Ship; and, more than all, of the first breathless moment when he told me his real Name?
“I've been able to avoid making another appointment with him by planning to write to him tomorrow morning. This gives me the night to collect myself and, if I can, to redirect my thoughts back to my own life. Will the night go by, and will morning come with me still preoccupied by the letter that arrived from his father's deathbed? By the night he spent awake on the wrecked ship? And, more than anything, by that first breathless moment when he revealed his real name to me?”
“Would it help me to shake off these impressions, I wonder, if I made the effort of writing them down? There would be no danger, in that case, of my forgetting anything important. And perhaps, after all, it may be the fear of forgetting something which I ought to remember that keeps this story of Midwinter’s weighing as it does on my mind. At any rate, the experiment is worth trying. In my present situation I must be free to think of other things, or I shall never find my way through all the difficulties at Thorpe Ambrose that are still to come.
“Would it help me to shake off these thoughts, I wonder, if I took the time to write them down? That way, I wouldn't risk forgetting anything important. And maybe, it’s the fear of losing something I should remember that keeps this story of Midwinter weighing heavily on my mind. In any case, it's worth a shot. Given my current situation, I must be able to think of other things, or I’ll never navigate all the challenges at Thorpe Ambrose that are still ahead.”
“Let me think. What haunts me, to begin with?
“Let me think. What haunts me, to start with?
“The Names haunt me. I keep saying and saying to myself: Both alike!—Christian name and surname both alike! A light-haired Allan Armadale, whom I have long since known of, and who is the son of my old mistress. A dark-haired Allan Armadale, whom I only know of now, and who is only known to others under the name of Ozias Midwinter. Stranger still; it is not relationship, it is not chance, that has made them namesakes. The father of the light Armadale was the man who was born to the family name, and who lost the family inheritance. The father of the dark Armadale was the man who took the name, on condition of getting the inheritance—and who got it.
“The names haunt me. I keep repeating to myself: Both the same!—first name and last name both the same! A light-haired Allan Armadale, whom I've known about for a long time, and who is the son of my old employer. A dark-haired Allan Armadale, whom I’m just learning about now, and who is only known to others as Ozias Midwinter. Strangely enough, it’s not family ties, and it’s not coincidence that made them share the same name. The father of the light Allan Armadale was the person who was born with the family name and lost the family inheritance. The father of the dark Allan Armadale was the person who took the name to claim the inheritance—and he got it.”
“So there are two of them—I can’t help thinking of it—both unmarried. The light-haired Armadale, who offers to the woman who can secure him, eight thousand a year while he lives; who leaves her twelve hundred a year when he dies; who must and shall marry me for those two golden reasons; and whom I hate and loathe as I never hated and loathed a man yet. And the dark-haired Armadale, who has a poor little income, which might perhaps pay his wife’s milliner, if his wife was careful; who has just left me, persuaded that I mean to marry him; and whom—well, whom I might have loved once, before I was the woman I am now.
“So, there are two of them—I can't stop thinking about it—both unmarried. The light-haired Armadale, who offers the woman lucky enough to snag him eight thousand a year while he's alive; who leaves her twelve hundred a year when he passes; who must and will marry me for those two golden reasons; and whom I hate and despise as I've never hated and despised a man before. And then there's the dark-haired Armadale, who has a meager income that might just cover his wife's expenses if she's careful; who has just left me, convinced that I plan to marry him; and whom—well, whom I might have loved once, before I became the woman I am now."
“And Allan the Fair doesn’t know he has a namesake. And Allan the Dark has kept the secret from everybody but the Somersetshire clergyman (whose discretion he can depend on) and myself.
“And Allan the Fair doesn’t realize he has someone with the same name. And Allan the Dark has kept the secret from everyone except the Somersetshire clergyman (whose discretion he trusts) and me.
“And there are two Allan Armadales—two Allan Armadales—two Allan Armadales. There! three is a lucky number. Haunt me again, after that, if you can!
“And there are two Allan Armadales—two Allan Armadales—two Allan Armadales. There! Three is a lucky number. Haunt me again, after that, if you can!
“What next? The murder in the timber ship? No; the murder is a good reason why the dark Armadale, whose father committed it, should keep his secret from the fair Armadale, whose father was killed; but it doesn’t concern me. I remember there was a suspicion in Madeira at the time of something wrong. Was it wrong? Was the man who had been tricked out of his wife to blame for shutting the cabin door, and leaving the man who had tricked him to drown in the wreck? Yes; the woman wasn’t worth it.
“What’s next? The murder on the timber ship? No; the murder is a good reason why the dark Armadale, whose father committed it, should keep his secret from the fair Armadale, whose father was killed; but it doesn’t concern me. I remember there was a suspicion in Madeira at the time that something was off. Was it off? Was the guy who got cheated out of his wife responsible for shutting the cabin door and leaving the guy who tricked him to drown in the wreck? Yeah; the woman wasn’t worth it.
“What am I sure of that really concerns myself?
“What am I really sure about that relates to me?”
“I am sure of one very important thing. I am sure that Midwinter—I must call him by his ugly false name, or I may confuse the two Armadales before I have done—I am sure that Midwinter is perfectly ignorant that I and the little imp of twelve years old who waited on Mrs. Armadale in Madeira, and copied the letters that were supposed to arrive from the West Indies, are one and the same. There are not many girls of twelve who could have imitated a man’s handwriting, and held their tongues about it afterward, as I did; but that doesn’t matter now. What does matter is that Midwinter’s belief in the Dream is Midwinter’s only reason for trying to connect me with Allan Armadale, by associating me with Allan Armadale’s father and mother. I asked him if he actually thought me old enough to have known either of them. And he said No, poor fellow, in the most innocent, bewildered way. Would he say No if he saw me now? Shall I turn to the glass and see if I look my five-and-thirty years? or shall I go on writing? I will go on writing.
“I am sure of one very important thing. I am sure that Midwinter—I have to call him by his ugly false name, or I might confuse the two Armadales before I’m done—I am sure that Midwinter has no idea that I and the little imp of twelve years old who served Mrs. Armadale in Madeira and copied the letters that were supposedly coming from the West Indies are the same person. There aren’t many twelve-year-old girls who could imitate a man’s handwriting and keep quiet about it afterward, like I did; but that doesn’t really matter now. What matters is that Midwinter’s belief in the Dream is his only reason for trying to connect me with Allan Armadale by linking me to Allan Armadale’s parents. I asked him if he really thought I was old enough to have known either of them. And he said No, poor guy, in the most innocent, confused way. Would he say No if he saw me now? Should I look in the mirror to see if I look my thirty-five years? Or should I keep writing? I’ll keep writing.”
“There is one thing more that haunts me almost as obstinately as the Names.
“There’s one thing that bothers me almost as much as the Names.”
“I wonder whether I am right in relying on Midwinter’s superstition (as I do) to help me in keeping him at arms-length. After having let the excitement of the moment hurry me into saying more than I need have said, he is certain to press me; he is certain to come back, with a man’s hateful selfishness and impatience in such things, to the question of marrying me. Will the Dream help me to check him? After alternately believing and disbelieving in it, he has got, by his own confession, to believing in it again. Can I say I believe in it, too? I have better reasons for doing so than he knows of. I am not only the person who helped Mrs. Armadale’s marriage by helping her to impose on her own father: I am the woman who tried to drown herself; the woman who started the series of accidents which put young Armadale in possession of his fortune; the woman who has come Thorpe Ambrose to marry him for his fortune, now he has got it; and more extraordinary still, the woman who stood in the Shadow’s place at the pool! These may be coincidences, but they are strange coincidences. I declare I begin to fancy that I believe in the Dream too!
“I’m not sure if it’s wise to rely on Midwinter’s superstition to keep him at a distance. After letting the moment rush me into saying more than I should have, he’s definitely going to push me; he’ll come back with that annoying selfishness and impatience that men have when it comes to marriage. Will the Dream help me stop him? After going back and forth between believing and not believing, he’s confessed that he’s back to believing in it. Can I say I believe in it, too? I have better reasons for believing than he realizes. I’m not just the person who helped Mrs. Armadale get married by tricking her father: I’m the woman who tried to drown herself; the one who set off the series of events that gave young Armadale his fortune; the woman who came to Thorpe Ambrose to marry him for his money, now that he has it; and surprisingly, the woman who stood in the Shadow’s place at the pool! These might just be coincidences, but they’re strange coincidences. I’m starting to think that I believe in the Dream too!”
“Suppose I say to him, ‘I think as you think. I say what you said in your letter to me, Let us part before the harm is done. Leave me before the Third Vision of the Dream comes true. Leave me, and put the mountains and the seas between you and the man who bears your name!’
“Let’s say I tell him, ‘I feel the same way you do. I echo what you mentioned in your letter to me, Let’s separate before anything bad happens. Go before the Third Vision of the Dream becomes a reality. Go, and put the mountains and the seas between you and the man who shares your name!’”
“Suppose, on the other side, that his love for me makes him reckless of everything else? Suppose he says those desperate words again, which I understand now: What is to be, will be. What have I to do with it, and what has she?’ Suppose—suppose—
“Suppose, on the other hand, that his love for me makes him careless about everything else? What if he says those desperate words again, which I now understand: What is meant to happen, will happen. What do I have to do with it, and what does she?” Suppose—suppose—
“I won’t write any more. I hate writing. It doesn’t relieve me—it makes me worse. I’m further from being able to think of all that I must think of than I was when I sat down. It is past midnight. To-morrow has come already; and here I am as helpless as the stupidest woman living! Bed is the only fit place for me.
“I won’t write anymore. I hate writing. It doesn’t help me—it makes things worse. I’m further from being able to think of everything I need to think about than I was when I sat down. It’s past midnight. Tomorrow has already arrived; and here I am as helpless as the dumbest woman alive! Bed is the only place for me.”
“Bed? If it was ten years since, instead of to-day; and if I had married Midwinter for love, I might be going to bed now with nothing heavier on my mind than a visit on tiptoe to the nursery, and a last look at night to see if my children were sleeping quietly in their cribs. I wonder whether I should have loved my children if I had ever had any? Perhaps, yes—perhaps, no. It doesn’t matter.”
“Bed? If it had been ten years ago instead of today; and if I had married Midwinter for love, I might be heading to bed now with nothing weighing on my mind except a quiet visit to the nursery and a final glance to see if my kids were sleeping peacefully in their cribs. I wonder if I would have loved my children if I had ever had any? Maybe, yes—maybe, no. It doesn’t really matter.”
“Tuesday morning, ten o’clock.—Who was the man who invented laudanum? I thank him from the bottom of my heart whoever he was. If all the miserable wretches in pain of body and mind, whose comforter he has been, could meet together to sing his praises, what a chorus it would be! I have had six delicious hours of oblivion; I have woke up with my mind composed; I have written a perfect little letter to Midwinter; I have drunk my nice cup of tea, with a real relish of it; I have dawdled over my morning toilet with an exquisite sense of relief—and all through the modest little bottle of Drops, which I see on my bedroom chimney-piece at this moment. ‘Drops,’ you are a darling! If I love nothing else, I love you.
“Tuesday morning, ten o’clock.—Who was the person who invented laudanum? I thank them from the bottom of my heart, whoever they were. If all the miserable people in pain, both body and mind, whom they’ve comforted could come together to sing their praises, what a chorus it would be! I’ve had six wonderful hours of oblivion; I woke up with a clear mind; I wrote a perfect little letter to Midwinter; I enjoyed my nice cup of tea; I took my time with my morning routine feeling an exquisite sense of relief—and all thanks to the modest little bottle of Drops, which I see on my bedroom mantle right now. ‘Drops,’ you are a darling! If I love nothing else, I love you.
“My letter to Midwinter has been sent through the post; and I have told him to reply to me in the same manner.
"My letter to Midwinter has been sent in the mail, and I've asked him to respond in the same way."
“I feel no anxiety about his answer—he can only answer in one way. I have asked for a little time to consider, because my family circumstances require some consideration, in his interests as well as in mine. I have engaged to tell him what those circumstances are (what shall I say, I wonder?) when we next meet; and I have requested him in the meantime to keep all that has passed between us a secret for the present. As to what he is to do himself in the interval while I am supposed to be considering, I have left it to his own discretion—merely reminding him that his attempting to see me again (while our positions toward each other cannot be openly avowed) might injure my reputation. I have offered to write to him if he wishes it; and I have ended by promising to make the interval of our necessary separation as short as I can.
“I’m not worried about his response—he can only reply in one way. I've asked for a little time to think because my family situation needs some thought, for his sake as well as mine. I’ve promised to explain those circumstances (what should I say, I wonder?) when we meet again; and I’ve asked him to keep everything we’ve discussed a secret for now. As for what he should do in the meantime while I’m supposedly thinking, I’ve left that up to him—just reminding him that if he tries to see me again (while we can’t openly acknowledge our positions), it could harm my reputation. I’ve offered to write to him if he wants; and I’ve concluded by promising to make the time we need to be apart as short as possible.”
“This sort of plain, unaffected letter—which I might have written to him last night, if his story had not been running in my head as it did—has one defect, I know. It certainly keeps him out of the way, while I am casting my net, and catching my gold fish at the great house for the second time; but it also leaves an awkward day of reckoning to come with Midwinter if I succeed. How am I to manage him? What am I to do? I ought to face those two questions as boldly as usual; but somehow my courage seems to fail me, and I don’t quite fancy meeting that difficulty, till the time comes when it must be met. Shall I confess to my diary that I am sorry for Midwinter, and that I shrink a little from thinking of the day when he hears that I am going to be mistress at the great house?
“This kind of straightforward, genuine letter—which I might have written to him last night if his story hadn’t been occupying my mind the way it was—has one flaw, I know. It definitely keeps him out of the picture while I’m busy casting my line and reeling in my goldfish at the big house for the second time; but it also sets up an awkward confrontation with Midwinter if I succeed. How am I supposed to handle him? What should I do? I should tackle those two questions as boldly as I usually do; but for some reason, I feel a bit of fear, and I’m not really looking forward to facing that challenge until the moment comes when it has to be faced. Should I admit in my diary that I feel sorry for Midwinter and that I’m a little hesitant about the day he finds out I’m going to be the lady of the big house?”
“But I am not mistress yet; and I can’t take a step in the direction of the great house till I have got the answer to my letter, and till I know that Midwinter is out of the way. Patience! patience! I must go and forget myself at my piano. There is the ‘Moonlight Sonata’ open, and tempting me, on the music-stand. Have I nerve enough to play it, I wonder? Or will it set me shuddering with the mystery and terror of it, as it did the other day?”
“But I’m not in charge yet; and I can’t move toward the big house until I get a response to my letter, and until I know that Midwinter is out of the picture. Patience! Patience! I need to go and lose myself at my piano. The ‘Moonlight Sonata’ is open and tempting me on the music stand. I wonder if I have the nerve to play it? Or will it make me shudder with its mystery and terror like it did the other day?”
“Five o’clock.—I have got his answer. The slightest request I can make is a command to him. He has gone; and he sends me his address in London. ‘There are two considerations’ (he says) ‘which help to reconcile me to leaving you. The first is that you wish it, and that it is only to be for a little while. The second is that I think I can make some arrangements in London for adding to my income by my own labor. I have never cared for money for myself; but you don’t know how I am beginning already to prize the luxuries and refinements that money can provide, for my wife’s sake.’ Poor fellow! I almost wish I had not written to him as I did; I almost wish I had not sent him away from me.
“Five o’clock.—I have his reply. The smallest request I make feels like a command to him. He’s left and sent me his address in London. ‘There are two things’ (he says) ‘that help me accept leaving you. First, it’s what you want, and it’s only for a little while. Second, I think I can set up some ways to increase my income in London through my own work. I’ve never cared about money for myself, but you don’t know how much I’m starting to value the luxuries and comforts that money can bring, for my wife’s sake.’ Poor guy! I almost regret writing to him the way I did; I almost wish I hadn’t sent him away from me.”
“Fancy if Mother Oldershaw saw this page in my diary! I have had a letter from her this morning—a letter to remind me of my obligations, and to tell me she suspects things are all going wrong. Let her suspect! I shan’t trouble myself to answer; I can’t be worried with that old wretch in the state I am in now.
“Just imagine if Mother Oldershaw saw this page in my diary! I got a letter from her this morning—a letter to remind me of my responsibilities and to say that she thinks everything is going wrong. Let her think what she wants! I’m not going to bother answering; I can't deal with that old nag in the mood I'm in now.”
“It is a lovely afternoon—I want a walk—I mustn’t think of Midwinter. Suppose I put on my bonnet, and try my experiment at once at the great house? Everything is in my favor. There is no spy to follow me, and no lawyer to keep me out, this time. Am I handsome enough, to-day? Well, yes; handsome enough to be a match for a little dowdy, awkward, freckled creature, who ought to be perched on a form at school, and strapped to a backboard to straighten her crooked shoulders.
“It’s a beautiful afternoon—I want to go for a walk—I shouldn’t think about Midwinter. What if I put on my hat and try my experiment right away at the big house? Everything is on my side. There’s no spy following me, and no lawyer to keep me out this time. Am I looking good today? Well, yes; good enough to hold my own against a little frumpy, awkward, freckled girl who should be sitting on a bench at school, strapped to a backboard to fix her crooked shoulders.”
“‘The nursery lisps out in all they utter; Besides, they always smell of bread-and-butter.’
“‘The nursery whispers everything they say; Plus, they always have the scent of buttered bread.’
“How admirably Byron has described girls in their teens!”
“How wonderfully Byron has described girls in their teenage years!”
“Eight o’clock.—I have just got back from Armadale’s house. I have seen him, and spoken to him; and the end of it may be set down in three plain words. I have failed. There is no more chance of my being Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose than there is of my being Queen of England.
“Eight o’clock.—I just got back from Armadale’s house. I met him and talked to him, and the outcome can be summed up in three simple words. I have failed. There’s no more chance of me becoming Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose than there is of me being Queen of England.”
“Shall I write and tell Oldershaw? Shall I go back to London? Not till I have had time to think a little. Not just yet.
“Should I write and let Oldershaw know? Should I head back to London? Not until I’ve had a chance to think it over a bit. Not just yet.”
“Let me think; I have failed completely—failed, with all the circumstances in favor of success. I caught him alone on the drive in front of the house. He was excessively disconcerted, but at the same time quite willing to hear me. I tried him, first quietly—then with tears, and the rest of it. I introduced myself in the character of the poor innocent woman whom he had been the means of injuring. I confused, I interested, I convinced him. I went on to the purely Christian part of my errand, and spoke with such feeling of his separation from his friend, for which I was innocently responsible, that I turned his odious rosy face quite pale, and made him beg me at last not to distress him. But, whatever other feelings I roused in him, I never once roused his old feeling for me. I saw it in his eyes when he looked at me; I felt it in his fingers when we shook hands. We parted friends, and nothing more.
“Let me think; I completely failed—failed, with all the odds in my favor. I caught him alone in the driveway in front of the house. He was extremely uneasy but also quite willing to listen. I approached him first calmly—then with tears and everything else. I introduced myself as the poor innocent woman he had harmed. I confused him, intrigued him, and convinced him. I moved on to the purely emotional part of my mission and spoke passionately about his separation from his friend, for which I was innocently to blame, causing his unpleasant rosy face to turn pale, making him finally ask me not to upset him. But no matter what other feelings I stirred in him, I never once stirred his old feelings for me. I saw it in his eyes when he looked at me; I felt it in his fingers when we shook hands. We parted as friends, and nothing more.
“It is for this, is it, Miss Milroy, that I resisted temptation, morning after morning, when I knew you were out alone in the park? I have just left you time to slip in, and take my place in Armadale’s good graces, have I? I never resisted temptation yet without suffering for it in some such way as this! If I had only followed my first thoughts, on the day when I took leave of you, my young lady—well, well, never mind that now. I have got the future before me; you are not Mrs. Armadale yet! And I can tell you one other thing—whoever else he marries, he will never marry you. If I am even with you in no other way, trust me, whatever comes of it, to be even with you there!
“It’s for this reason, isn’t it, Miss Milroy, that I resisted temptation, day after day, knowing you were out alone in the park? I’ve just given you the chance to sneak in and take my spot in Armadale’s good graces, haven’t I? I’ve never resisted temptation without suffering for it somehow! If I had only followed my first instincts the day I said goodbye to you, my young lady—well, never mind that now. I have the future ahead of me; you’re not Mrs. Armadale yet! And let me tell you one more thing—whoever else he marries, he will never marry you. If I’m even with you in no other way, trust me, whatever happens, I’ll make sure I’m even with you on that!”
“I am not, to my own surprise, in one of my furious passions. The last time I was in this perfectly cool state, under serious provocation, something came of it, which I daren’t write down, even in my own private diary. I shouldn’t be surprised if something comes of it now.
“I’m actually not, surprisingly, in one of my furious moods. The last time I was in this calm state, despite being seriously provoked, something happened that I wouldn’t dare write down, even in my own private diary. I wouldn’t be shocked if something happens now.”
“On my way back, I called at Mr. Bashwood’s lodgings in the town. He was not at home, and I left a message telling him to come here to-night and speak to me. I mean to relieve him at once of the duty of looking after Armadale and Miss Milroy. I may not see my way yet to ruining her prospects at Thorpe Ambrose as completely as she has ruined mine. But when the time comes, and I do see it, I don’t know to what lengths my sense of injury may take me; and there may be inconvenience, and possibly danger, in having such a chicken-hearted creature as Mr. Bashwood in my confidence.
“On my way back, I stopped by Mr. Bashwood’s place in town. He wasn’t home, so I left a message asking him to come here tonight to talk to me. I plan to relieve him immediately of the responsibility for looking after Armadale and Miss Milroy. I might not have a clear plan yet for completely ruining her chances at Thorpe Ambrose like she has ruined mine. But when the time comes, and I do have a plan, I can’t predict how far my sense of betrayal will push me; and having someone as timid as Mr. Bashwood in my confidence could be inconvenient and possibly dangerous.”
“I suspect I am more upset by all this than I supposed. Midwinter’s story is beginning to haunt me again, without rhyme or reason.
“I think I’m more upset about all this than I realized. Midwinter’s story is starting to haunt me again, for no clear reason.”
“A soft, quick, trembling knock at the street door! I know who it is. No hand but old Bashwood’s could knock in that way.”
“A soft, quick, trembling knock at the front door! I know who it is. No one else but old Bashwood could knock like that.”
“Nine o’clock.—I have just got rid of him. He has surprised me by coming out in a new character.
“Nine o’clock.—I just got rid of him. He surprised me by showing up in a new role."
“It seems (though I didn’t detect him) that he was at the great house while I was in company with Armadale. He saw us talking on the drive, and he afterward heard what the servants said, who saw us too. The wise opinion below stairs is that we have ‘made it up,’ and that the master is likely to marry me after all. ‘He’s sweet on her red hair,’ was the elegant expression they used in the kitchen. ‘Little missie can’t match her there; and little missie will get the worst of it.’ How I hate the coarse ways of the lower orders!
“It seems (though I didn’t notice him) that he was at the big house while I was with Armadale. He saw us talking in the driveway, and he later heard what the servants said, who also saw us. The common opinion down below is that we’ve ‘made up,’ and that the master is likely to marry me after all. ‘He’s into her red hair,’ was the fancy way they put it in the kitchen. ‘Little miss can’t compete with that; and little miss will come out worse off.’ How I loathe the crude manners of the lower classes!
“While old Bashwood was telling me this, I thought he looked even more confused and nervous than usual. But I failed to see what was really the matter until after I had told him that he was to leave all further observation of Mr. Armadale and Miss Milroy to me. Every drop of the little blood there is in the feeble old creature’s body seemed to fly up into his face. He made quite an overpowering effort; he really looked as if he would drop down dead of fright at his own boldness; but he forced out the question for all that, stammering, and stuttering, and kneading desperately with both hands at the brim of his hideous great hat. ‘I beg your pardon, Miss Gwi-Gwi-Gwilt! You are not really go-go-going to marry Mr. Armadale, are you?’ Jealous—if ever I saw it in a man’s face yet, I saw it in his—actually jealous of Armadale at his age! If I had been in the humor for it, I should have burst out laughing in his face. As it was, I was angry, and lost all patience with him. I told him he was an old fool, and ordered him to go on quietly with his usual business until I sent him word that he was wanted again. He submitted as usual; but there was an indescribable something in his watery old eyes, when he took leave of me, which I have never noticed in them before. Love has the credit of working all sorts of strange transformations. Can it be really possible that Love has made Mr. Bashwood man enough to be angry with me?
“While old Bashwood was telling me this, I couldn’t help but notice he seemed even more confused and anxious than usual. But it didn’t click for me what was really going on until I told him to leave all further monitoring of Mr. Armadale and Miss Milroy to me. Every bit of the little blood left in the frail old man's body seemed to rush to his face. He made a tremendous effort; he genuinely looked like he might collapse from fear at his own boldness, but he managed to ask the question anyway, stammering and fumbling with both hands at the brim of his ugly big hat. ‘I beg your pardon, Miss Gwi-Gwi-Gwilt! You aren't really planning to marry Mr. Armadale, are you?’ He was jealous—if I’ve ever seen jealousy on a man’s face, it was in his—actually jealous of Armadale at his age! If I had been in the mood for it, I would have laughed right in his face. As it was, I was annoyed and lost all patience with him. I told him he was an old fool and instructed him to go about his usual business until I notified him he was needed again. He complied as usual, but there was an indescribable something in his watery old eyes when he took his leave that I had never noticed before. Love is known for producing all sorts of strange transformations. Could it really be that Love has made Mr. Bashwood brave enough to feel angry with me?
“Wednesday.—My experience of Miss Milroy’s habits suggested a suspicion to me last night which I thought it desirable to clear up this morning.
“Wednesday.—My experience with Miss Milroy’s habits raised a suspicion for me last night that I thought it would be wise to address this morning.
“It was always her way, when I was at the cottage, to take a walk early in the morning before breakfast. Considering that I used often to choose that very time for my private meetings with Armadale, it struck me as likely that my former pupil might be taking a leaf out of my book, and that I might make some desirable discoveries if I turned my steps in the direction of the major’s garden at the right hour. I deprived myself of my Drops, to make sure of waking; passed a miserable night in consequence; and was ready enough to get up at six o’clock, and walk the distance from my lodgings to the cottage in the fresh morning air.
“It was always her routine, when I was at the cottage, to take a walk early in the morning before breakfast. Since I often used that exact time for my private meetings with Armadale, it occurred to me that my former student might be taking a page from my playbook, and that I could make some interesting discoveries if I headed toward the major’s garden at the right time. I skipped my Drops to ensure I would wake up; as a result, I had a miserable night; and I was eager to get up at six o'clock and walk the distance from my place to the cottage in the refreshing morning air.”
“I had not been five minutes on the park side of the garden inclosure before I saw her come out.
“I had not been five minutes on the park side of the garden enclosure before I saw her come out.
“She seemed to have had a bad night too; her eyes were heavy and red, and her lips and cheeks looked swollen as if she had been crying. There was something on her mind, evidently; something, as it soon appeared, to take her out of the garden into the park. She walked (if one can call it walking; with such legs as hers!) straight to the summer house, and opened the door, and crossed the bridge, and went on quicker and quicker toward the low ground in the park, where the trees are thickest. I followed her over the open space with perfect impunity in the preoccupied state she was in; and, when she began to slacken her pace among the trees, I was among the trees too, and was not afraid of her seeing me.
“She looked like she had a rough night too; her eyes were heavy and red, and her lips and cheeks were puffy as if she had been crying. Clearly, something was bothering her; something that soon made her leave the garden and head to the park. She walked (if you can call it walking; with legs like hers!) straight to the summer house, opened the door, crossed the bridge, and moved faster and faster toward the low area in the park, where the trees are densest. I followed her across the open space without worry because she was so lost in thought; and when she started to slow down among the trees, I was there too, and I wasn't scared of her noticing me.
“Before long, there was a crackling and trampling of heavy feet coming up toward us through the under-wood in a deep dip of the ground. I knew that step as well as she knew it. ‘Here I am,’ she said, in a faint little voice. I kept behind the trees a few yards off, in some doubt on which side Armadale would come out of the under-wood to join her. He came out up the side of the dell, opposite to the tree behind which I was standing. They sat down together on the bank. I sat down behind the tree, and looked at them through the under-wood, and heard without the slightest difficulty every word that they said.
“Before long, we heard the crackling and thudding of heavy footsteps approaching through the underbrush in a low dip of the ground. I recognized that sound just as well as she did. ‘Here I am,’ she said, in a faint voice. I stayed hidden behind the trees a few yards away, unsure which side Armadale would come out of the underbrush to meet her. He appeared on the side of the dell, opposite the tree where I was standing. They sat down together on the bank. I sat down behind the tree and watched them through the underbrush, easily hearing every word they said.”
“The talk began by his noticing that she looked out of spirits, and asking if anything had gone wrong at the cottage. The artful little minx lost no time in making the necessary impression on him; she began to cry. He took her hand, of course, and tried, in his brutishly straightforward way, to comfort her. No; she was not to be comforted. A miserable prospect was before her; she had not slept the whole night for thinking of it. Her father had called her into his room the previous evening, had spoken about the state of her education, and had told her in so many words that she was to go to school. The place had been found, and the terms had been settled; and as soon as her clothes could be got ready, miss was to go.
“The conversation started when he noticed that she seemed down and asked if anything was wrong at the cottage. The clever little minx wasted no time getting her desired reaction from him; she started to cry. He took her hand, of course, and tried, in his blunt way, to comfort her. No, she wasn’t going to be consoled. A bleak future loomed ahead; she hadn’t slept at all the previous night worrying about it. Her father had called her into his room the night before, talked about her education, and told her plainly that she was going to school. The place had been chosen, and the fees settled; as soon as her clothes were ready, she would be off.”
“‘While that hateful Miss Gwilt was in the house,’ says this model young person, ‘I would have gone to school willingly—I wanted to go. But it’s all different now; I don’t think of it in the same way; I feel too old for school. I’m quite heart-broken, Mr. Armadale.’ There she stopped as if she had meant to say more, and gave him a look which finished the sentence plainly: ‘I’m quite heart-broken, Mr. Armadale, now we are friendly again, at going away from you!’ For downright brazen impudence, which a grown woman would be ashamed of, give me the young girls whose ‘modesty’ is so pertinaciously insisted on by the nauseous domestic sentimentalists of the present day!
“‘While that awful Miss Gwilt was in the house,’ says this perfect young person, ‘I would have gone to school willingly—I wanted to go. But it's all different now; I don’t see it the same way; I feel too old for school. I’m really heartbroken, Mr. Armadale.’ She paused as if she intended to say more, and gave him a look that clearly completed the sentence: ‘I’m really heartbroken, Mr. Armadale, now that we’re on good terms again, about leaving you!’ For sheer bold audacity, which a grown woman would be ashamed of, give me the young girls whose ‘modesty’ is so stubbornly championed by the repulsive domestic sentimentalists of today!
“Even Armadale, booby as he is, understood her. After bewildering himself in a labyrinth of words that led nowhere, he took her—one can hardly say round the waist, for she hasn’t got one—he took her round the last hook-and-eye of her dress, and, by way of offering her a refuge from the indignity of being sent to school at her age, made her a proposal of marriage in so many words.
“Even Armadale, silly as he is, got what she was saying. After confusing himself in a maze of words that went nowhere, he put his arms around the last hook-and-eye of her dress—though it’s hard to call it a waist since she doesn’t have one—and, to give her a way out of the embarrassment of being sent to school at her age, proposed to her directly.”
“If I could have killed them both at that moment by lifting up my little finger, I have not the least doubt I should have lifted it. As things were, I only waited to see what Miss Milroy would do.
“If I could have killed them both at that moment by lifting my little finger, I have no doubt I would have. Instead, I just waited to see what Miss Milroy would do.”
“She appeared to think it necessary—feeling, I suppose, that she had met him without her father’s knowledge, and not forgetting that I had had the start of her as the favored object of Mr. Armadale’s good opinion—to assert herself by an explosion of virtuous indignation. She wondered how he could think of such a thing after his conduct with Miss Gwilt, and after her father had forbidden him the house! Did he want to make her feel how inexcusably she had forgotten what was due to herself? Was it worthy of a gentleman to propose what he knew as well as she did was impossible? and so on, and so on. Any man with brains in his head would have known what all this rodomontade really meant. Armadale took it so seriously that he actually attempted to justify himself.
“She seemed to think it was necessary—probably feeling that she had met him without her father knowing, and not forgetting that I had been the one to have Mr. Armadale’s favor—to assert herself with a burst of righteous anger. She questioned how he could even consider such a thing after his behavior with Miss Gwilt, and after her father had banned him from the house! Did he want to remind her how shockingly she had neglected her own dignity? Was it fitting for a gentleman to suggest something he knew was impossible, just like she did? And so on, and so on. Any smart guy would have understood what all this bluster really meant. Armadale took it so seriously that he actually tried to defend himself.
“He declared, in his headlong, blundering way, that he was quite in earnest; he and her father might make it up and be friends again; and, if the major persisted in treating him as a stranger, young ladies and gentlemen in their situation had made runaway marriages before now, and fathers and mothers who wouldn’t forgive them before had forgiven them afterward. Such outrageously straightforward love-making as this left Miss Milroy, of course, but two alternatives—to confess that she had been saying No when she meant Yes, or to take refuge in another explosion. She was hypocrite enough to prefer another explosion. ‘How dare you, Mr. Armadale? Go away directly! It’s inconsiderate, it’s heartless, it’s perfectly disgraceful to say such things to me!’ and so on, and so on. It seems incredible, but it is not the less true, that he was positively fool enough to take her at her word. He begged her pardon, and went away like a child that is put in the corner—the most contemptible object in the form of man that eyes ever looked on!
“He declared, in his reckless, clumsy way, that he was completely serious; he and her father could make up and be friends again; and if the major kept treating him like a stranger, young ladies and gentlemen in their situation had run off to get married before, and fathers and mothers who wouldn’t forgive them initially had ended up forgiving them later. Such shockingly direct declarations of love left Miss Milroy with just two options—to admit that she had been saying No when she actually meant Yes, or to retreat into another outburst. She was hypocritical enough to choose another outburst. ‘How dare you, Mr. Armadale? Go away immediately! It’s inconsiderate, it’s heartless, it’s absolutely disgraceful to say such things to me!’ and so on, and so on. It seems unbelievable, but it’s true that he was foolish enough to take her literally. He apologized and walked away like a child being punished—a truly pathetic sight for any man to behold!
“She waited, after he had gone, to compose herself, and I waited behind the trees to see how she would succeed. Her eyes wandered round slyly to the path by which he had left her. She smiled (grinned would be the truer way of putting it, with such a mouth as hers); took a few steps on tiptoe to look after him; turned back again, and suddenly burst into a violent fit of crying. I am not quite so easily taken in as Armadale, and I saw what it all meant plainly enough.
“She waited after he left to collect herself, and I stayed hidden behind the trees to see how well she'd manage. Her eyes sneakily scanned the path he had taken. She smiled (grinned would be a more accurate word, considering her mouth); took a few tiptoe steps to catch a glimpse of him; turned back, and suddenly broke down in a violent fit of crying. I'm not as easily fooled as Armadale, and I could see clearly what it all meant.”
“‘To-morrow,’ I thought to myself, ‘you will be in the park again, miss, by pure accident. The next day, you will lead him on into proposing to you for the second time. The day after, he will venture back to the subject of runaway marriages, and you will only be becomingly confused. And the day after that, if he has got a plan to propose, and if your clothes are ready to be packed for school, you will listen to him.’ Yes, yes; Time is always on the man’s side, where a woman is concerned, if the man is only patient enough to let Time help him.
“Tomorrow,” I thought to myself, “you’ll accidentally run into him in the park again. The next day, you’ll guide him into proposing to you for the second time. The day after, he’ll bring up the topic of eloping again, and you’ll just be adorably confused. And the day after that, if he has a plan to propose and your clothes are ready to be packed for school, you'll listen to him.” Yes, yes; Time is always on the man’s side when it comes to a woman, as long as he’s patient enough to let Time work in his favor.
“I let her leave the place and go back to the cottage, quite unconscious that I had been looking at her. I waited among the trees, thinking. The truth is, I was impressed by what I had heard and seen, in a manner that it is not very easy to describe. It put the whole thing before me in a new light. It showed me—what I had never even suspected till this morning—that she is really fond of him.
“I let her leave and head back to the cottage, completely unaware that I had been watching her. I stood among the trees, lost in thought. The truth is, I was struck by what I had heard and seen in a way that’s hard to explain. It changed my perspective entirely. It made me realize—something I hadn’t even considered until this morning—that she truly cares about him.”
“Heavy as my debt of obligation is to her, there is no fear now of my failing to pay it to the last farthing. It would have been no small triumph for me to stand between Miss Milroy and her ambition to be one of the leading ladies of the county. But it is infinitely more, where her first love is concerned, to stand between Miss Milroy and her heart’s desire. Shall I remember my own youth and spare her? No! She has deprived me of the one chance I had of breaking the chain that binds me to a past life too horrible to be thought of. I am thrown back into a position, compared to which the position of an outcast who walks the streets is endurable and enviable. No, Miss Milroy—no, Mr. Armadale; I will spare neither of you.
"Even though I owe her a lot, I’m not worried about not paying it back fully. It would have felt like a big win for me to stand between Miss Milroy and her dream of being one of the top actresses in the county. But it means so much more when it comes to her first love; standing in the way of Miss Milroy and what she truly wants. Should I think back to my own youth and let her be? No! She’s taken away my only chance to break free from a past that’s too horrific to even consider. I’m stuck in a situation that makes being an outcast wandering the streets seem bearable and even desirable. No, Miss Milroy—no, Mr. Armadale; I won’t hold back against either of you."
“I have been back some hours. I have been thinking, and nothing has come of it. Ever since I got that strange letter of Midwinter’s last Sunday, my usual readiness in emergencies has deserted me. When I am not thinking of him or of his story, my mind feels quite stupefied. I, who have always known what to do on other occasions, don’t know what to do now. It would be easy enough, of course, to warn Major Milroy of his daughter’s proceedings. But the major is fond of his daughter; Armadale is anxious to be reconciled with him; Armadale is rich and prosperous, and ready to submit to the elder man; and sooner or later they will be friends again, and the marriage will follow. Warning Major Milroy is only the way to embarrass them for the present; it is not the way to part them for good and all.
“I’ve been back for a few hours. I’ve been thinking, but it hasn’t helped. Ever since I received that strange letter from Midwinter last Sunday, my usual quick thinking in emergencies has left me. When I’m not thinking about him or his story, my mind feels completely foggy. I, who have always known what to do in other situations, don’t know what to do now. It would be easy to warn Major Milroy about his daughter’s actions. But the major cares about his daughter; Armadale wants to make amends with him; Armadale is rich and successful, willing to submit to the older man; and sooner or later, they will be friends again, and the marriage will happen. Warning Major Milroy would only complicate things for now; it won’t truly separate them for good.”
“What is the way? I can’t see it. I could tear my own hair off my head! I could burn the house down! If there was a train of gunpowder under the whole world, I could light it, and blow the whole world to destruction—I am in such a rage, such a frenzy with myself for not seeing it!
“What is the way? I can’t find it. I want to rip my hair out! I could set the house on fire! If there was a trail of gunpowder under the entire world, I would ignite it and blow everything to pieces—I’m so furious, so frantic with myself for not finding it!
“Poor dear Midwinter! Yes, ‘dear.’ I don’t care. I’m lonely and helpless. I want somebody who is gentle and loving to make much of me; I wish I had his head on my bosom again; I have a good mind to go to London and marry him. Am I mad? Yes; all people who are as miserable as I am are mad. I must go to the window and get some air. Shall I jump out? No; it disfigures one so, and the coroner’s inquest lets so many people see it.
“Poor dear Midwinter! Yes, ‘dear.’ I don't care. I'm lonely and helpless. I want someone gentle and loving to take care of me; I wish I could lay his head on my chest again. I’m seriously considering going to London and marrying him. Am I crazy? Yes; everyone who's as miserable as I am is a little crazy. I need to go to the window and get some fresh air. Should I jump out? No; it messes you up so much, and the coroner’s inquest means so many people would see it.”
“The air has revived me. I begin to remember that I have Time on my side, at any rate. Nobody knows but me of their secret meetings in the park the first thing in the morning. If jealous old Bashwood, who is slinking and sly enough for anything, tries to look privately after Armadale, in his own interests, he will try at the usual time when he goes to the steward’s office. He knows nothing of Miss Milroy’s early habits; and he won’t be on the spot till Armadale has got back to the house. For another week to come, I may wait and watch them, and choose my own time and way of interfering the moment I see a chance of his getting the better of her hesitation, and making her say Yes.
“The fresh air has reinvigorated me. I’m starting to remember that I have Time on my side, at least. I'm the only one who knows about their secret meetings in the park first thing in the morning. If the jealous old Bashwood, who is sneaky and cunning enough for anything, tries to keep an eye on Armadale for his own benefit, he’ll do it at the usual time when he goes to the steward’s office. He knows nothing about Miss Milroy's early routines; he won’t be around until after Armadale has returned to the house. For another week or so, I can wait and watch them, choosing the right moment and method to step in the second I see a chance for him to overcome her hesitation and get her to say Yes.”
“So here I wait, without knowing how things will end with Midwinter in London; with my purse getting emptier and emptier, and no appearance so far of any new pupils to fill it; with Mother Oldershaw certain to insist on having her money back the moment she knows I have failed; without prospects, friends, or hopes of any kind—a lost woman, if ever there was a lost woman yet. Well! I say it again and again and again—I don’t care! Here I stop, if I sell the clothes off my back, if I hire myself at the public-house to play to the brutes in the tap-room; here I stop till the time comes, and I see the way to parting Armadale and Miss Milroy forever!”
“So here I am, waiting, not knowing how things will turn out with Midwinter in London; my wallet getting emptier and emptier, and no sign yet of any new students to fill it; with Mother Oldershaw sure to demand her money back as soon as she realizes I've failed; without prospects, friends, or hopes of any kind—a lost woman, if there ever was one. Well! I’ll say it again and again—I don’t care! Here I stand, even if I have to sell the clothes off my back, even if I have to find work at the pub to play for the drunks in the tap-room; here I stay until the time comes, and I see the way to separate Armadale and Miss Milroy forever!”
“Seven o’clock.—Any signs that the time is coming yet? I hardly know; there are signs of a change, at any rate, in my position in the neighborhood.
“Seven o’clock.—Are there any signs that the time is approaching yet? I'm not really sure; there are definitely signs of a shift in my status in the neighborhood.
“Two of the oldest and ugliest of the many old and ugly ladies who took up my case when I left Major Milroy’s service have just called, announcing themselves, with the insufferable impudence of charitable Englishwomen, as a deputation from my patronesses. It seems that the news of my reconciliation with Armadale has spread from the servants’ offices at the great house, and has reached the town, with this result.
“Two of the oldest and ugliest of the many old and ugly ladies who took up my case when I left Major Milroy’s service have just called, announcing themselves, with the insufferable impudence of charitable Englishwomen, as a deputation from my patronesses. It seems that the news of my reconciliation with Armadale has spread from the servants’ offices at the great house, and has reached the town, with this result.”
“It is the unanimous opinion of my ‘patronesses’ (and the opinion of Major Milroy also, who has been consulted) that I have acted with the most inexcusable imprudence in going to Armadale’s house, and in there speaking on friendly terms with a man whose conduct toward myself has made his name a by-word in the neighborhood. My total want of self-respect in this matter has given rise to a report that I am trading as cleverly as ever on my good looks, and that I am as likely as not to end in making Armadale marry me, after all. My ‘patronesses’ are, of course, too charitable to believe this. They merely feel it necessary to remonstrate with me in a Christian spirit, and to warn me that any second and similar imprudence on my part would force all my best friends in the place to withdraw the countenance and protection which I now enjoy.
“It is the unanimous opinion of my 'patronesses' (and Major Milroy, who has also been consulted) that I've acted with the most inexcusable recklessness by going to Armadale's house and chatting casually with a man whose behavior towards me has made his name notorious in the area. My complete lack of self-respect in this situation has led to rumors that I'm still using my good looks to my advantage, and that I'm likely to end up making Armadale marry me after all. My 'patronesses' are, of course, too kind to believe this. They just feel it’s necessary to advise me with good intentions and warn me that any further misstep on my part would make all my closest friends in the community withdraw their support and protection, which I currently enjoy."
“Having addressed me, turn and turn about, in these terms (evidently all rehearsed beforehand), my two Gorgon visitors straightened themselves in their chairs, and looked at me as much as to say, ‘You may often have heard of Virtue, Miss Gwilt, but we don’t believe you ever really saw it in full bloom till we came and called on you.’
“After addressing me, back and forth, in these obviously rehearsed words, my two Gorgon visitors sat up straight in their chairs and looked at me as if to say, ‘You may have heard a lot about Virtue, Miss Gwilt, but we doubt you’ve ever really seen it in full bloom until we came and visited you.’”
“Seeing they were bent on provoking me, I kept my temper, and answered them in my smoothest, sweetest, and most lady-like manner. I have noticed that the Christianity of a certain class of respectable people begins when they open their prayer-books at eleven o’clock on Sunday morning, and ends when they shut them up again at one o’clock on Sunday afternoon. Nothing so astonishes and insults Christians of this sort as reminding them of their Christianity on a week-day. On this hint, as the man says in the play, I spoke.
"Since they were determined to provoke me, I kept my cool and responded to them in my smoothest, sweetest, and most feminine way. I've noticed that for a certain group of respectable people, their Christianity starts when they open their prayer books at eleven o'clock on Sunday morning and ends when they close them at one o'clock in the afternoon. Nothing surprises and offends these Christians more than being reminded of their faith on a weekday. Taking this hint, as the guy says in the play, I spoke."
“‘What have I done that is wrong?’ I asked, innocently. ‘Mr. Armadale has injured me; and I have been to his house and forgiven him the injury. Surely there must be some mistake, ladies? You can’t have really come here to remonstrate with me in a Christian spirit for performing an act of Christianity?’
“‘What have I done that’s wrong?’ I asked, innocently. ‘Mr. Armadale has hurt me; and I went to his house and forgave him for the hurt. Surely there must be some mistake, ladies? You can’t really have come here to confront me in a Christian spirit for doing something Christian?’”
“The two Gorgons got up. I firmly believe some women have cats’ tails as well as cats’ faces. I firmly believe the tails of those two particular cats wagged slowly under their petticoats, and swelled to four times their proper size.
“The two Gorgons got up. I really believe some women have cat tails as well as cat faces. I really believe the tails of those two specific cats wagged slowly under their skirts and swelled to four times their normal size."
“‘Temper we were prepared for, Miss Gwilt,’ they said, ‘but not Profanity. We wish you good-evening.’
“‘We expected some temper, Miss Gwilt,’ they said, ‘but not profanity. We wish you a good evening.’”
“So they left me, and so ‘Miss Gwilt’ sinks out of the patronizing notice of the neighborhood
“So they left me, and so ‘Miss Gwilt’ fades out of the patronizing notice of the neighborhood.”
“I wonder what will come of this trumpery little quarrel? One thing will come of it which I can see already. The report will reach Miss Milroy’s ears; she will insist on Armadale’s justifying himself; and Armadale will end in satisfying her of his innocence by making another proposal. This will be quite likely to hasten matters between them; at least it would with me. If I was in her place, I should say to myself, ‘I will make sure of him while I can.’ Supposing it doesn’t rain to-morrow morning, I think I will take another early walk in the direction of the park.”
“I’m curious about what will happen with this foolish little argument. One thing is already clear to me. The news will get to Miss Milroy; she’ll insist that Armadale prove himself, and he’ll end up convincing her of his innocence by making another proposal. This will probably speed things up between them; at least it would for me. If I were in her shoes, I’d think to myself, ‘I need to secure him while I have the chance.’ If it doesn't rain tomorrow morning, I think I’ll take another early walk toward the park.”
“Midnight.—As I can’t take my drops, with a morning walk before me, I may as well give up all hope of sleeping, and go on with my diary. Even with my drops, I doubt if my head would be very quiet on my pillow to-night. Since the little excitement of the scene with my ‘lady-patronesses’ has worn off, I have been troubled with misgivings which would leave me but a poor chance, under any circumstances, of getting much rest.
“Midnight.—Since I can't take my drops and have a morning walk ahead of me, I might as well give up on the idea of sleeping and continue with my diary. Even if I had my drops, I doubt I would find much peace on my pillow tonight. After the initial excitement of the scene with my 'lady patrons' faded away, I've been plagued by worries that would make it hard for me to get any real rest, no matter what.”
“I can’t imagine why, but the parting words spoken to Armadale by that old brute of a lawyer have come back to my mind! Here they are, as reported in Mr. Bashwood’s letter: ‘Some other person’s curiosity may go on from the point where you (and I) have stopped, and some other person’s hand may let the broad daylight in yet on Miss Gwilt.’
“I can’t figure out why, but the last words that old jerk of a lawyer said to Armadale keep coming back to me! Here they are, as mentioned in Mr. Bashwood’s letter: ‘Some other person’s curiosity might continue from the point where you (and I) have left off, and some other person’s hand might eventually bring the truth to light about Miss Gwilt.’”
“What does he mean by that? And what did he mean afterward when he overtook old Bashwood in the drive, by telling him to gratify his curiosity? Does this hateful Pedgift actually suppose there is any chance—? Ridiculous! Why, I have only to look at the feeble old creature, and he daren’t lift his little finger unless I tell him. He try to pry into my past life, indeed! Why, people with ten times his brains, and a hundred times his courage, have tried—and have left off as wise as they began.
“What does he mean by that? And what did he mean later when he caught up with old Bashwood in the driveway, telling him to satisfy his curiosity? Does this awful Pedgift actually think there’s any chance—? Ridiculous! All I have to do is look at the feeble old guy, and he won’t lift a finger unless I tell him to. He thinks he can pry into my past life, really! People with ten times his intelligence and a hundred times his guts have tried—and they ended up just as clueless as when they started.
“I don’t know, though; it might have been better if I had kept my temper when Bashwood was here the other night. And it might be better still if I saw him to-morrow, and took him back into my good graces by giving him something to do for me. Suppose I tell him to look after the two Pedgifts, and to discover whether there is any chance of their attempting to renew their connection with Armadale? No such thing is at all likely; but if I gave old Bashwood this commission, it would flatter his sense of his own importance to me, and would at the same time serve the excellent purpose of keeping him out of my way.”
“I’m not sure, though; it might have been better if I had controlled my temper when Bashwood was here the other night. And it might be even better if I saw him tomorrow and brought him back into my good books by giving him something to do for me. What if I asked him to look after the two Pedgifts and find out if there's any chance they might try to reconnect with Armadale? That’s not very likely; but if I gave old Bashwood this task, it would boost his sense of importance to me and would also keep him out of my hair.”
“Thursday morning, nine o’clock.—I have just got back from the park.
“Thursday morning, nine o’clock.—I just got back from the park.
“For once I have proved a true prophet. There they were together, at the same early hour, in the same secluded situation among the trees; and there was miss in full possession of the report of my visit to the great house, and taking her tone accordingly.
“For once I have proved to be a true prophet. There they were together, at the same early hour, in the same quiet spot among the trees; and there was Miss fully aware of my visit to the big house, adjusting her attitude accordingly."
“After saying one or two things about me, which I promise him not to forget, Armadale took the way to convince her of his constancy which I felt beforehand he would be driven to take. He repeated his proposal of marriage, with excellent effect this time. Tears and kisses and protestations followed; and my late pupil opened her heart at last, in the most innocent manner. Home, she confessed, was getting so miserable to her now that it was only less miserable than going to school. Her mother’s temper was becoming more violent and unmanageable every day. The nurse, who was the only person with any influence over her, had gone away in disgust. Her father was becoming more and more immersed in his clock, and was made more and more resolute to send her away from home by the distressing scenes which now took place with her mother almost day by day. I waited through these domestic disclosures on the chance of hearing any plans they might have for the future discussed between them; and my patience, after no small exercise of it, was rewarded at last.
“After mentioning one or two things about me, which I promised him I wouldn’t forget, Armadale took the route to prove his loyalty, which I anticipated he would feel compelled to pursue. He proposed marriage again, and this time it had a great impact. There were tears, kisses, and declarations of love; and my former student finally opened her heart in the most innocent way. She admitted that home was becoming so miserable for her that it was only slightly better than going to school. Her mother’s temper was growing more violent and unmanageable by the day. The nurse, who was the only person with any influence over her, had left in disgust. Her father was getting more and more absorbed in his clock and was increasingly determined to send her away from home due to the distressing scenes that occurred with her mother almost daily. I listened patiently through these family revelations, hoping to hear any plans they might discuss for the future, and after exercising a good deal of patience, I was finally rewarded.”
“The first suggestion (as was only natural where such a fool as Armadale was concerned) came from the girl.
“The first suggestion (which made total sense considering how foolish Armadale was) came from the girl.
“She started an idea which I own I had not anticipated. She proposed that Armadale should write to her father; and, cleverer still, she prevented all fear of his blundering by telling him what he was to say. He was to express himself as deeply distressed at his estrangement from the major, and to request permission to call at the cottage, and say a few words in his own justification. That was all. The letter was not to be sent that day, for the applicants for the vacant place of Mrs. Milroy’s nurse were coming, and seeing them and questioning them would put her father, with his dislike of such things, in no humor to receive Armadale’s application indulgently. The Friday would be the day to send the letter, and on the Saturday morning if the answer was unfortunately not favorable, they might meet again, ‘I don’t like deceiving my father; he has always been so kind to me. And there will be no need to deceive him, Allan, if we can only make you friends again.’ Those were the last words the little hypocrite said, when I left them.
“She came up with an idea that I honestly hadn’t seen coming. She suggested that Armadale should write to her dad; and even smarter, she took away any worry about him messing it up by telling him exactly what to say. He was supposed to express how upset he was about the rift with the major and ask for permission to visit the cottage to explain himself. That was it. The letter wasn’t supposed to be sent that day because applicants for the position of Mrs. Milroy’s nurse were coming, and dealing with them would put her dad, who wasn’t a fan of such things, in no mood to deal kindly with Armadale’s request. Friday would be the right day to send the letter, and if the response wasn’t good on Saturday morning, they could meet again. ‘I don’t like lying to my dad; he’s always been so good to me. And there’s no need to lie to him, Allan, if we can just get you two to be friends again.’ Those were the last words the little hypocrite said when I left them.”
“What will the major do? Saturday morning will show. I won’t think of it till Saturday morning has come and gone. They are not man and wife yet; and again and again I say it, though my brains are still as helpless as ever, man and wife they shall never be.
“What will the major do? Saturday morning will reveal that. I won’t think about it until Saturday morning has come and gone. They aren't married yet; and I keep saying it, even though I still feel confused, they will never be man and wife."
“On my way home again, I caught Bashwood at his breakfast, with his poor old black tea-pot, and his little penny loaf, and his one cheap morsel of oily butter, and his darned dirty tablecloth. It sickens me to think of it.
“On my way home again, I saw Bashwood having his breakfast, with his sad old black teapot, and his little cheap loaf of bread, and his one tiny piece of oily butter, and his worn-out dirty tablecloth. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it."
“I coaxed and comforted the miserable old creature till the tears stood in his eyes, and he quite blushed with pleasure. He undertakes to look after the Pedgifts with the utmost alacrity. Pedgift the elder he described, when once roused, as the most obstinate man living; nothing will induce him to give way, unless Armadale gives way also on his side. Pedgift the younger is much the more likely of the two to make attempts at a reconciliation. Such, at least, is Bashwood’s opinion. It is of very little consequence now what happens either way. The only important thing is to tie my elderly admirer safely again to my apron-string. And this is done.
“I comforted the miserable old guy until tears filled his eyes, and he actually blushed with happiness. He promised to take care of the Pedgifts with great enthusiasm. When he finally got going, he described Pedgift the elder as the most stubborn man alive; nothing will make him budge unless Armadale also gives in. Pedgift the younger is much more likely to try to make peace. At least, that’s what Bashwood thinks. It doesn’t really matter what happens now either way. The only important thing is to tie my elderly admirer securely back to my apron strings. And that’s done.”
“The post is late this morning. It has only just come in, and has brought me a letter from Midwinter.
The mail is late this morning. It just arrived and brought me a letter from Midwinter.
“It is a charming letter; it flatters me and flutters me as if I was a young girl again. No reproaches for my never having written to him; no hateful hurrying of me, in plain words, to marry him. He only writes to tell me a piece of news. He has obtained, through his lawyers, a prospect of being employed as occasional correspondent to a newspaper which is about to be started in London. The employment will require him to leave England for the Continent, which would exactly meet his own wishes for the future, but he cannot consider the proposal seriously until he has first ascertained whether it would meet my wishes too. He knows no will but mine, and he leaves me to decide, after first mentioning the time allowed him before his answer must be sent in. It is the time, of course (if I agree to his going abroad), in which I must marry him. But there is not a word about this in his letter. He asks for nothing but a sight of my handwriting to help him through the interval while we are separated from each other.
“It’s such a lovely letter; it makes me feel flattered and giddy, like I’m a young girl again. There’s no blame for never having written to him; no annoying pressure for me to marry him. He just writes to share some news. He’s managed, through his lawyers, to get a chance to work as a freelance correspondent for a new newspaper that’s about to launch in London. This job will require him to leave England for the Continent, which aligns perfectly with his own plans for the future, but he won’t take the proposal seriously until he checks if it meets my wishes too. He takes my feelings into account above all else, and he leaves the decision to me, after briefly mentioning the deadline for his response. That’s the time, of course (if I agree to him going abroad), when I need to marry him. But he doesn’t mention that in his letter. He only asks for a glimpse of my handwriting to get him through the time we’re apart.”
“That is the letter; not very long, but so prettily expressed.
“That is the letter; not very long, but so beautifully written.
“I think I can penetrate the secret of his fancy for going abroad. That wild idea of putting the mountains and the seas between Armadale and himself is still in his mind. As if either he or I could escape doing what we are fated to do—supposing we really are fated—by putting a few hundred or a few thousand miles between Armadale and ourselves! What strange absurdity and inconsistency! And yet how I like him for being absurd and inconsistent; for don’t I see plainly that I am at the bottom of it all? Who leads this clever man astray in spite of himself? Who makes him too blind to see the contradiction in his own conduct, which he would see plainly in the conduct of another person? How interested I do feel in him! How dangerously near I am to shutting my eyes on the past, and letting myself love him! Was Eve fonder of Adam than ever, I wonder, after she had coaxed him into eating the apple? I should have quite doted on him if I had been in her place. (Memorandum: To write Midwinter a charming little letter on my side, with a kiss in it; and as time is allowed him before he sends in his answer, to ask for time, too, before I tell him whether I will or will not go abroad.)”
“I think I can figure out why he’s so keen on going abroad. That wild idea of putting the mountains and the seas between Armadale and himself is still on his mind. As if either of us could escape what we’re destined to do—if we really are destined—just by putting a few hundred or a few thousand miles between us and Armadale! What a strange absurdity and inconsistency! And yet I can’t help but like him for being absurd and inconsistent; because don’t I see that I’m at the heart of it all? Who leads this clever man astray against his will? Who makes him so blind to the contradiction in his own actions, which he would definitely notice in someone else? I feel so interested in him! How dangerously close I am to ignoring the past and allowing myself to love him! I wonder if Eve was fonder of Adam than ever after she convinced him to eat the apple? I would have completely doted on him if I were in her position. (Memorandum: To write Midwinter a lovely little letter on my part, with a kiss in it; and since he has time to reply, to ask for time too, before I decide whether I will go abroad or not.)”
“Five o’clock.—A tiresome visit from my landlady; eager for a little gossip, and full of news which she thinks will interest me.
“Five o’clock.—A boring visit from my landlady; keen for a bit of gossip, and loaded with news that she thinks will interest me.
“She is acquainted, I find, with Mrs. Milroy’s late nurse; and she has been seeing her friend off at the station this afternoon. They talked, of course, of affairs at the cottage, and my name found its way into the conversation. I am quite wrong, it seems, if the nurse’s authority is to be trusted, in believing Miss Milroy to be responsible for sending Mr. Armadale to my reference in London. Miss Milroy really knew nothing about it, and it all originated in her mother’s mad jealousy of me. The present wretched state of things at the cottage is due entirely to the same cause. Mrs. Milroy is firmly persuaded that my remaining at Thorpe Ambrose is referable to my having some private means of communicating with the major which it is impossible for her to discover. With this conviction in her mind, she has become so unmanageable that no person, with any chance of bettering herself, could possibly remain in attendance on her; and sooner or later, the major, object to it as he may, will be obliged to place her under proper medical care.
“She knows Mrs. Milroy’s former nurse, and she was seeing her friend off at the station this afternoon. They obviously talked about things at the cottage, and my name came up in their conversation. It turns out I’ve been mistaken, if the nurse’s word is to be believed, to think Miss Milroy was the one who sent Mr. Armadale to my reference in London. Miss Milroy actually had no idea about it, and it all started because of her mother’s insane jealousy of me. The miserable situation at the cottage is entirely due to the same reason. Mrs. Milroy is convinced that my staying at Thorpe Ambrose has something to do with me having some secret way to communicate with the major that she can’t figure out. With this belief, she’s become so difficult that no one who hopes to better their situation could possibly stick around her. Sooner or later, the major, no matter how much he might resist, will have to put her under proper medical care.”
“That is the sum and substance of what the wearisome landlady, had to tell me. Unnecessary to say that I was not in the least interested by it. Even if the nurse’s assertion is to be depended on—which I persist in doubting—it is of no importance now. I know that Miss Milroy, and nobody but Miss Milroy has utterly ruined my prospect of becoming Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, and I care to know nothing more. If her mother was really alone in the attempt to expose my false reference, her mother seems to be suffering for it, at any rate. And so good-by to Mrs. Milroy; and Heaven defend me from any more last glimpses at the cottages seen through the medium of my landlady’s spectacles!”
"That’s the gist of what the tiring landlady had to tell me. It goes without saying that I wasn’t the least bit interested. Even if the nurse’s claim can be trusted—which I still doubt—it doesn’t matter now. I know that Miss Milroy, and only Miss Milroy, has completely ruined my chances of becoming Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, and I don’t want to know anything else. If her mother was really acting alone in trying to expose my fake reference, it looks like she’s suffering for it, at least. So, goodbye to Mrs. Milroy; and God help me from having to see any more of those cottages through my landlady’s glasses!"
“Nine o’clock.—Bashwood has just left me, having come with news from the great house. Pedgift the younger has made his attempt at bringing about a reconciliation this very day, and has failed. I am the sole cause of the failure. Armadale is quite willing to be reconciled if Pedgift the elder will avoid all future occasion of disagreement between them by never recurring to the subject of Miss Gwilt. This, however, happens to be exactly the condition which Pedgift’s father—with his opinion of me and my doings—should consider it his duty to Armadale not to accept. So lawyer and client remain as far apart as ever, and the obstacle of the Pedgifts is cleared out of my way.
“Nine o’clock.—Bashwood just left me after bringing news from the big house. Pedgift the younger tried to facilitate a reconciliation today and failed. I am the main reason for the failure. Armadale is completely open to reconciliation if Pedgift the elder can avoid any future disagreements by not bringing up Miss Gwilt again. However, that’s exactly the condition Pedgift’s father, with his views on me and what I’ve done, feels he should refuse to accept for Armadale. So, lawyer and client remain as far apart as ever, and the obstacle of the Pedgifts is out of my way.”
“It might have been a very awkward obstacle, so far as Pedgift the elder is concerned, if one of his suggestions had been carried out; I mean, if an officer of the London police had been brought down here to look at me. It is a question, even now, whether I had better not take to the thick veil again, which I always wear in London and other large places. The only difficulty is that it would excite remark in this inquisitive little town to see me wearing a thick veil, for the first time, in the summer weather.
“It could have been a really awkward situation for Pedgift the elder if one of his suggestions had been followed; I mean, if a London police officer had come here to check me out. Even now, I wonder if I should just put on my thick veil again, which I always wear in London and other big cities. The only problem is that it would draw attention in this nosy little town to see me wearing a thick veil for the first time in the summer.”
“It is close on ten o’clock; I have been dawdling over my diary longer than I supposed.
“It’s almost ten o’clock; I’ve been lingering over my diary longer than I thought.”
“No words can describe how weary and languid I feel. Why don’t I take my sleeping drops and go to bed? There is no meeting between Armadale and Miss Milroy to force me into early rising to-morrow morning. Am I trying, for the hundredth time, to see my way clearly into the future—trying, in my present state of fatigue, to be the quick-witted woman I once was, before all these anxieties came together and overpowered me? or am I perversely afraid of my bed when I want it most? I don’t know; I am tired and miserable; I am looking wretchedly haggard and old. With a little encouragement, I might be fool enough to burst out crying. Luckily, there is no one to encourage me. What sort of a night is it, I wonder?
“No words can express how exhausted and drained I feel. Why don’t I just take my sleeping pills and go to bed? There’s no meeting with Armadale and Miss Milroy that forces me to get up early tomorrow morning. Am I, for the hundredth time, trying to find clarity about the future—attempting, in my current state of fatigue, to be the sharp-minded woman I used to be, before all these worries piled up and overwhelmed me? Or am I stubbornly afraid of my bed when I need it the most? I don’t know; I’m tired and miserable; I look terribly haggard and old. With just a little encouragement, I might be foolish enough to burst into tears. Thankfully, there’s no one around to encourage me. I wonder what kind of night it is, anyway?
“A cloudy night, with the moon showing at intervals, and the wind rising. I can just hear it moaning among the ins and outs of the unfinished cottages at the end of the street. My nerves must be a little shaken, I think. I was startled just now by a shadow on the wall. It was only after a moment or two that I mustered sense enough to notice where the candle was, and to see that the shadow was my own.
“A cloudy night, with the moon peeking out now and then, and the wind picking up. I can barely hear it moaning through the nooks and crannies of the unfinished houses at the end of the street. I think my nerves are a bit on edge. I just got spooked by a shadow on the wall. It took me a moment to gather enough sense to notice where the candle was and realize that the shadow was mine.”
“Shadows remind me of Midwinter; or, if the shadows don’t, something else does. I must have another look at his letter, and then I will positively go to bed.
“Shadows make me think of midwinter; or, if the shadows don’t, something else does. I should take another look at his letter, and then I’ll definitely go to bed.
“I shall end in getting fond of him. If I remain much longer in this lonely uncertain state—so irresolute, so unlike my usual self—I shall end in getting fond of him. What madness! As if I could ever be really fond of a man again!
“I’m going to end up getting fond of him. If I stay in this lonely, uncertain place much longer—so indecisive, so unlike my usual self—I’m going to end up getting fond of him. What craziness! As if I could ever truly be fond of a man again!
“Suppose I took one of my sudden resolutions, and married him. Poor as he is, he would give me a name and a position if I became his wife. Let me see how the name—his own name—would look, if I really did consent to it for mine.
“Imagine if I made one of my impulsive decisions and married him. Even though he’s poor, he would give me a name and a status if I became his wife. Let me see how his name—his own name—would look if I actually agreed to take it as mine."
“‘Mrs. Armadale!’ Pretty.
“Mrs. Armadale!” Pretty.
“‘Mrs. Allan Armadale!’ Prettier still.
“‘Mrs. Allan Armadale!’ Even prettier.”
“My nerves must be shaken. Here is my own handwriting startling me now! It is so strange; it is enough to startle anybody. The similarity in the two names never struck me in this light before. Marry which of the two I might, my name would, of course, be the same. I should have been Mrs. Armadale, if I had married the light-haired Allan at the great house. And I can be Mrs. Armadale still, if I marry the dark-haired Allan in London. It’s almost maddening to write it down—to feel that something ought to come of it—and to find nothing come.
“My nerves must be on edge. Here is my own handwriting surprising me now! It’s so strange; it’s enough to shock anyone. I’ve never thought about the similarity in the two names like this before. No matter which one I marry, my name would obviously be the same. I’d be Mrs. Armadale if I had married the light-haired Allan at the big house. And I can still be Mrs. Armadale if I marry the dark-haired Allan in London. It’s almost infuriating to write this down—to feel like something should happen—and to see nothing happen.
“How can anything come of it? If I did go to London, and marry him (as of course I must marry him) under his real name, would he let me be known by it afterward? With all his reasons for concealing his real name, he would insist—no, he is too fond of me to do that—he would entreat me to take the name which he has assumed. Mrs. Midwinter. Hideous! Ozias, too, when I wanted to address him familiarly, as his wife should. Worse than hideous!
“How can anything come of it? If I went to London and married him (which I obviously have to do) using his real name, would he allow me to be known by it afterward? With all his reasons for hiding his true identity, he would insist—no, he cares too much for me to do that—he would beg me to take on the name he’s chosen. Mrs. Midwinter. Awful! Ozias, too, when I wanted to call him something familiar, like a wife should. Worse than awful!”
“And yet there would be some reason for humoring him in this if he asked me.
“And yet there would be some reason to go along with him in this if he asked me.
“Suppose the brute at the great house happened to leave this neighborhood as a single man; and suppose, in his absence, any of the people who know him heard of a Mrs. Allan Armadale, they would set her down at once as his wife. Even if they actually saw me—if I actually came among them with that name, and if he was not present to contradict it—his own servants would be the first to say, ‘We knew she would marry him, after all!’ And my lady-patronesses, who will be ready to believe anything of me now we have quarreled, would join the chorus sotto voce: ‘Only think, my dear, the report that so shocked us actually turns out to be true!’ No. If I marry Midwinter, I must either be perpetually putting my husband and myself in a false position—or I must leave his real name, his pretty, romantic name, behind me at the church door.
“Imagine if the guy at the big house left the neighborhood as a single man; and while he's gone, anyone who knows him hears about a Mrs. Allan Armadale. They would immediately assume she’s his wife. Even if they actually saw me—if I showed up among them with that name, and he wasn't there to deny it—his own staff would be the first to say, ‘We knew she would marry him eventually!’ And my lady-friends, who are eager to believe anything about me now that we’ve had a falling out, would join in quietly: ‘Can you believe it, my dear? That shocking rumor actually turns out to be true!’ No. If I marry Midwinter, I either have to constantly put both of us in a tricky situation—or I have to leave his real name, his beautiful, romantic name, behind at the church door."
“My husband! As if I was really going to marry him! I am not going to marry him, and there’s an end of it.
“My husband! As if I was really going to marry him! I am not going to marry him, and that’s the end of it.
“Half-past ten.—Oh, dear! oh, dear! how my temples throb, and how hot my weary eyes feel! There is the moon looking at me through the window. How fast the little scattered clouds are flying before the wind! Now they let the moon in; and now they shut the moon out. What strange shapes the patches of yellow light take, and lose again, all in a moment! No peace and quiet for me, look where I may. The candle keeps flickering, and the very sky itself is restless to-night.
“10:30.—Oh no! Oh no! my temples are pounding, and my tired eyes feel so hot! There’s the moon looking at me through the window. The little scattered clouds are racing past in the wind! Sometimes they let the moon in, and sometimes they block it out. What weird shapes the patches of yellow light form, only to vanish again in an instant! I can’t find any peace or quiet, no matter where I look. The candle keeps flickering, and even the sky itself is restless tonight."
“‘To bed! to bed!’ as Lady Macbeth says. I wonder, by-the-by, what Lady Macbeth would have done in my position? She would have killed somebody when her difficulties first began. Probably Armadale.
“‘To bed! to bed!’ as Lady Macbeth says. I wonder, by the way, what Lady Macbeth would have done if she were in my shoes? She would have killed someone as soon as her troubles started. Probably Armadale.
“Friday morning.—A night’s rest, thanks again to my Drops. I went to breakfast in better spirits, and received a morning welcome in the shape of a letter from Mrs. Oldershaw.
“Friday morning.—A good night’s sleep, thanks once more to my Drops. I went to breakfast in a better mood and received a morning surprise in the form of a letter from Mrs. Oldershaw.
“My silence has produced its effect on Mother Jezebel. She attributes it to the right cause, and she shows her claws at last. If I am not in a position to pay my note of hand for thirty pounds, which is due on Tuesday next, her lawyer is instructed to ‘take the usual course.’ If I am not in a position to pay it! Why, when I have settled to-day with my landlord, I shall have barely five pounds left! There is not the shadow of a prospect between now and Tuesday of my earning any money; and I don’t possess a friend in this place who would trust me with sixpence. The difficulties that are swarming round me wanted but one more to complete them, and that one has come.
“My silence has had an impact on Mother Jezebel. She’s figured out the real reason, and now she’s finally showing her true colors. If I can’t pay back the thirty pounds I owe by next Tuesday, her lawyer is set to ‘take the usual steps.’ If I can’t pay it! After settling with my landlord today, I'll barely have five pounds left! There’s no chance I’ll earn any money between now and Tuesday, and I don’t have a single friend here who would lend me sixpence. The challenges piling up around me only needed one more to make things complete, and that’s exactly what I’ve got.”
“Midwinter would assist me, of course, if I could bring myself to ask him for assistance. But that means marrying him. Am I really desperate enough and helpless enough to end it in that way? No; not yet.
“Midwinter would help me, of course, if I could bring myself to ask him for help. But that means marrying him. Am I really desperate and helpless enough to end it that way? No; not yet.”
“My head feels heavy; I must get out into the fresh air, and think about it.”
“My head feels heavy; I need to get outside for some fresh air and think about it.”
“Two o’clock.—I believe I have caught the infection of Midwinter’s superstition. I begin to think that events are forcing me nearer and nearer to some end which I don’t see yet, but which I am firmly persuaded is now not far off.
“Two o'clock.—I think I’ve caught Midwinter’s superstition. I’m starting to feel like events are pushing me closer and closer to some conclusion that I can’t see yet, but I’m convinced it’s coming soon.”
“I have been insulted—deliberately insulted before witnesses—by Miss Milroy.
“I have been insulted—deliberately insulted in front of witnesses—by Miss Milroy.
“After walking, as usual, in the most unfrequented place I could pick out, and after trying, not very successfully, to think to some good purpose of what I am to do next, I remembered that I needed some note-paper and pens, and went back to the town to the stationer’s shop. It might have been wiser to have sent for what I wanted. But I was weary of myself, and weary of my lonely rooms; and I did my own errand, for no better reason than that it was something to do.
“After strolling, as usual, in the least crowded spot I could find, and after trying, not very successfully, to think of something productive to do next, I remembered that I needed some stationery and pens, so I went back to town to the stationer’s shop. It might have been smarter to have ordered what I needed. But I was tired of myself and tired of my lonely rooms; and I ran my own errand, simply because it was something to do.”
“I had just got into the shop, and was asking for what I wanted, when another customer came in. We both looked up, and recognized each other at the same moment: Miss Milroy.
“I had just walked into the shop and was asking for what I wanted when another customer came in. We both looked up and recognized each other at the same time: Miss Milroy.
“A woman and a lad were behind the counter, besides the man who was serving me. The woman civilly addressed the new customer. ‘What can we have the pleasure of doing for you, miss?’ After pointing it first by looking me straight in the face, she answered, ‘Nothing, thank you, at present. I’ll come back when the shop is empty.’
“A woman and a young boy were behind the counter, along with the man who was serving me. The woman politely spoke to the new customer. ‘What can we do for you today, miss?’ After first glancing at me directly, she replied, ‘Nothing, thank you, for now. I’ll return when the shop is empty.’”
“She went out. The three people in the shop looked at me in silence. In silence, on my side, I paid for my purchases, and left the place. I don’t know how I might have felt if I had been in my usual spirits. In the anxious, unsettled state I am in now, I can’t deny it, the girl stung me.
“She stepped out. The three people in the shop stared at me in silence. Quietly on my end, I paid for my items and left. I can’t say how I would have felt if I’d been in my usual mood. Given the anxious, unsettled state I’m in now, I can’t deny it, the girl hurt me.”
“In the weakness of the moment (for it was nothing else), I was on the point of matching her petty spitefulness by spitefulness quite as petty on my side. I had actually got as far as the whole length of the street on my way to the major’s cottage, bent on telling him the secret of his daughter’s morning walks, before my better sense came back to me. When I did cool down, I turned round at once, and took the way home. No, no, Miss Milroy; mere temporary mischief-making at the cottage, which would only end in your father forgiving you, and in Armadale profiting by his indulgence, will nothing like pay the debt I owe you. I don’t forget that your heart is set on Armadale; and that the major, however he may talk, has always ended hitherto in giving you your own way. My head may be getting duller and duller, but it has not quite failed me yet.
“In that moment of weakness (because that's all it was), I almost responded to her petty meanness with some of my own. I actually made it all the way down the street on my way to the major’s cottage, ready to spill the secret of his daughter’s morning walks, before my better judgment kicked in. When I calmed down, I turned right around and headed home. No, no, Miss Milroy; just causing some temporary trouble at the cottage, which would only end with your father forgiving you and Armadale benefiting from his leniency, won’t come close to repaying what I owe you. I know your heart is set on Armadale, and that the major, despite his words, has always ended up giving you what you want. My mind may be getting duller and duller, but it hasn't completely given out on me yet.”
“In the meantime, there is Mother Oldershaw’s letter waiting obstinately to be answered; and here am I, not knowing what to do about it yet. Shall I answer it or not? It doesn’t matter for the present; there are some hours still to spare before the post goes out.
“In the meantime, Mother Oldershaw’s letter is still sitting here, waiting for a response, and I’m not sure what to do about it. Should I reply or not? It doesn’t really matter right now; I still have a few hours before the mail goes out."
“Suppose I asked Armadale to lend me the money? I should enjoy getting something out of him; and I believe, in his present situation with Miss Milroy, he would do anything to be rid of me. Mean enough this, on my part. Pooh! When you hate and despise a man, as I hate and despise Armadale, who cares for looking mean in his eyes?
“Suppose I asked Armadale to loan me some money? I’d actually enjoy getting something out of him; and I think, given how things are with Miss Milroy, he’d do anything to get rid of me. That’s pretty low of me. But who cares about looking petty in his eyes when you hate and look down on a guy, like I do with Armadale?”
“And yet my pride—or my something else, I don’t know what—shrinks from it.
“And yet my pride—or something else, I don’t know what—holds me back from it.
“Half-past two—only half-past two. Oh, the dreadful weariness of these long summer days! I can’t keep thinking and thinking any longer; I must do something to relieve my mind. Can I go to my piano? No; I’m not fit for it. Work? No; I shall get thinking again if I take to my needle. A man, in my place, would find refuge in drink. I’m not a man, and I can’t drink. I’ll dawdle over my dresses, and put my things tidy.”
“Two-thirty—just two-thirty. Oh, the awful boredom of these endless summer days! I can’t keep thinking like this anymore; I need to do something to distract myself. Can I play my piano? No; I’m not in the mood for that. Work? No; I’ll just start thinking again if I pick up my sewing. A guy in my situation would resort to drinking. I’m not a guy, and I can’t drink. I’ll just mess around with my clothes and organize my stuff.”
“Has an hour passed? More than an hour. It seems like a minute.
“Has an hour gone by? More than an hour. It feels like just a minute.”
“I can’t look back through these leaves, but I know I wrote somewhere that I felt myself getting nearer and nearer to some end that was still hidden from me. The end is hidden no longer. The cloud is off my mind, the blindness has gone from my eyes. I see it! I see it!
“I can’t look back through these leaves, but I know I wrote somewhere that I felt myself getting closer and closer to an end that was still a mystery to me. The end isn’t a mystery anymore. The fog has lifted from my mind, and the blindness has left my eyes. I see it! I see it!
“It came to me—I never sought it. If I was lying on my death-bed, I could swear, with a safe conscience, I never sought it.
“It came to me—I never looked for it. If I were lying on my deathbed, I could swear, with a clear conscience, I never looked for it.
“I was only looking over my things; I was as idly and as frivolously employed as the most idle and most frivolous woman living. I went through my dresses, and my linen. What could be more innocent? Children go through their dresses and their linen.
“I was just browsing through my things; I was as casually and as playfully occupied as the most carefree and most lighthearted woman alive. I looked through my dresses and my linens. What could be more innocent? Kids go through their clothes and their linens.”
“It was, such a long summer day, and I was so tired of myself. I went to my boxes next. I looked over the large box first, which I usually leave open; and then I tried the small box, which I always keep locked.
“It was such a long summer day, and I was really tired of myself. I went to my boxes next. I checked the large box first, which I usually leave open; and then I tried the small box, which I always keep locked.
“From one thing to the other, I came at last to the bundle of letters at the bottom—the letters of the man for whom I once sacrificed and suffered everything; the man who has made me what I am.
“Going from one thing to another, I finally came to the stack of letters at the bottom—the letters from the man for whom I once sacrificed and endured everything; the man who has shaped me into who I am.”
“A hundred times I had determined to burn his letters; but I have never burned them. This, time, all I said was, ‘I won’t read his letters!’ And I did read them.
“A hundred times I decided to burn his letters; but I never did. This time, all I said was, ‘I won’t read his letters!’ And I ended up reading them.”
“The villain—the false, cowardly, heartless villain—what have I to do with his letters now? Oh, the misery of being a woman! Oh, the meanness that our memory of a man can tempt us to, when our love for him is dead and gone! I read the letters—I was so lonely and so miserable, I read the letters.
“The villain—the fake, cowardly, heartless villain—what do I care about his letters now? Oh, the misery of being a woman! Oh, the pettiness that our memories of a man can lead us to, when our love for him is dead and gone! I read the letters—I was so lonely and so miserable, I read the letters.
“I came to the last—the letter he wrote to encourage me, when I hesitated as the terrible time came nearer and nearer; the letter that revived me when my resolution failed at the eleventh hour. I read on, line after line, till I came to these words:
“I reached the last—the letter he wrote to motivate me when I hesitated as the dreadful time approached closer and closer; the letter that brought me back to life when my determination wavered at the last minute. I kept reading, line after line, until I got to these words:
“‘...I really have no patience with such absurdities as you have written to me. You say I am driving you on to do what is beyond a woman’s courage. Am I? I might refer you to any collection of Trials, English or foreign, to show that you were utterly wrong. But such collections may be beyond your reach; and I will only refer you to a case in yesterday’s newspaper. The circumstances are totally different from our circumstances; but the example of resolution in a woman is an example worth your notice.
“‘...I really have no patience for the ridiculous things you've written to me. You say I'm pushing you to do something that's beyond a woman's courage. Am I? I could point you to any collection of Trials, whether English or foreign, to show that you're completely mistaken. But those collections might be out of your reach; so let me just mention a case from yesterday's newspaper. The circumstances are completely different from ours, but the example of a woman's determination is worth your attention.
“‘You will find, among the law reports, a married woman charged with fraudulently representing herself to be the missing widow of an officer in the merchant service, who was supposed to have been drowned. The name of the prisoner’s husband (living) and the name of the officer (a very common one, both as to Christian and surname) happened to be identically the same. There was money to be got by it (sorely wanted by the prisoner’s husband, to whom she was devotedly attached), if the fraud had succeeded. The woman took it all on herself. Her husband was helpless and ill, and the bailiffs were after him. The circumstances, as you may read for yourself, were all in her favor, and were so well managed by her that the lawyers themselves acknowledged she might have succeeded, if the supposed drowned man had not turned up alive and well in the nick of time to confront her. The scene took place at the lawyer’s office, and came out in the evidence at the police court. The woman was handsome, and the sailor was a good-natured man. He wanted, at first, if the lawyers would have allowed him, to let her off. He said to her, among other things: “You didn’t count on the drowned man coming back, alive and hearty, did you, ma’am?” “It’s lucky for you,” she said, “I didn’t count on it. You have escaped the sea, but you wouldn’t have escaped me.” “Why, what would you have done, if you had known I was coming back?” says the sailor. She looked him steadily in the face, and answered: “I would have killed you.” There! Do you think such a woman as that would have written to tell me I was pressing her further than she had courage to go? A handsome woman, too, like yourself. You would drive some men in my position to wish they had her now in your place.’
“‘You’ll find in the law reports a married woman charged with fraudulently claiming to be the missing widow of an officer in the merchant service, who was believed to have drowned. The name of the prisoner’s husband (who is alive) and the officer’s name (a very common one, both first and last) happened to be exactly the same. There was money to be gained from this (desperately needed by the prisoner’s husband, to whom she was deeply devoted), if the fraud had worked. The woman took full responsibility. Her husband was sick and helpless, and the bailiffs were after him. The circumstances, as you can read for yourself, were all in her favor, and she managed them so well that the lawyers themselves admitted she might have succeeded, if the supposedly drowned man hadn’t shown up alive and well just in time to confront her. The incident occurred at the lawyer’s office and was revealed as evidence in the police court. The woman was attractive, and the sailor was a kind-hearted man. Initially, if the lawyers had permitted it, he wanted to let her off. He said to her, among other things: “You didn’t expect the drowned man to come back, alive and well, did you, ma’am?” “It’s lucky for you,” she replied, “that I didn’t expect it. You’ve escaped the sea, but you wouldn’t have escaped me.” “Well, what would you have done if you had known I was coming back?” asked the sailor. She looked him straight in the eye and answered: “I would have killed you.” There! Do you think a woman like that would have written to tell me I was pushing her further than she had the courage to go? An attractive woman, just like you. You’d make some men in my position wish they had her instead of you.’
“I read no further. When I had got on, line by line, to those words, it burst on me like a flash of lightning. In an instant I saw it as plainly as I see it now. It is horrible, it is unheard of, it outdares all daring; but, if I can only nerve myself to face one terrible necessity, it is to be done. I may personate the richly provided widow of Allan Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, if I can count on Allan Armadale’s death in a given time.
“I didn’t read any further. As I moved on, line by line, to those words, it hit me like a flash of lightning. In an instant, I understood it as clearly as I do now. It’s horrifying, it’s unprecedented, it surpasses all bravery; but if I can just gather the courage to confront one awful necessity, then it has to be done. I can pretend to be the well-off widow of Allan Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose if I can rely on Allan Armadale’s death within a specific timeframe.
“There, in plain words, is the frightful temptation under which I now feel myself sinking. It is frightful in more ways than one; for it has come straight out of that other temptation to which I yielded in the by-gone time.
“There, in simple terms, is the frightening temptation I'm currently struggling with. It's terrifying in more ways than one because it stems directly from that other temptation I gave in to in the past.”
“Yes; there the letter has been waiting for me in my box, to serve a purpose never thought of by the villain who wrote it. There is the Case, as he called it—only quoted to taunt me; utterly unlike my own case at the time—there it has been, waiting and lurking for me through all the changes in my life, till it has come to be like my case at last.
“Yes; the letter has been waiting for me in my mailbox, ready to serve a purpose that the villain who wrote it never imagined. There’s the Case, as he called it—only mentioned to mock me; completely different from my own situation back then—there it has been, lurking around through all the changes in my life, until it has finally become like my case after all.”
“It might startle any woman to see this, and even this is not the worst. The whole thing has been in my Diary, for days past, without my knowing it! Every idle fancy that escaped me has been tending secretly that one way! And I never saw, never suspected it, till the reading of the letter put my own thoughts before me in a new light—till I saw the shadow of my own circumstances suddenly reflected in one special circumstance of that other woman’s case!
“It might shock any woman to see this, and even this isn’t the worst. The whole thing has been in my Diary for days without me realizing it! Every idle thought that slipped out has been secretly leaning in that direction! And I never noticed, never suspected it, until reading the letter presented my own thoughts in a new way—until I saw the shadow of my own situation suddenly reflected in one specific detail of that other woman’s case!”
“It is to be done, if I can but look the necessity in the face. It is to be done, if I can count on Allan Armadale’s death in a given time.
“It has to be done, if I can just face the reality of it. It has to be done, if I can rely on Allan Armadale’s death happening within a certain timeframe.
“All but his death is easy. The whole series of events under which I have been blindly chafing and fretting for more than a week past have been, one and all—though I was too stupid to see it—events in my favor; events paving the way smoothly and more smoothly straight to the end.
“All but his death is easy. The entire series of events that I have been mindlessly stressing over for the past week has been, without exception—although I was too dense to realize it—events working in my favor; events that are guiding me more and more smoothly towards the end.”
“In three bold steps—only three!—that end might be reached. Let Midwinter marry me privately, under his real name—step the first! Let Armadale leave Thorpe Ambrose a single man, and die in some distant place among strangers—step the second!
“In three bold steps—just three!—that goal could be achieved. Let Midwinter marry me privately, using his real name—step one! Let Armadale leave Thorpe Ambrose as a single man and die far away among strangers—step two!
“Why am I hesitating? Why not go on to step the third, and last?
“Why am I hesitating? Why not move on to the third and final step?”
“I will go on. Step the third, and last, is my appearance, after the announcement of Armadale’s death has reached this neighborhood, in the character of Armadale’s widow, with my marriage certificate in my hand to prove my claim. It is as clear as the sun at noonday. Thanks to the exact similarity between the two names, and thanks to the careful manner in which the secret of that similarity has been kept, I may be the wife of the dark Allan Armadale, known as such to nobody but my husband and myself; and I may, out of that very position, claim the character of widow of the light Allan Armadale, with proof to support me (in the shape of my marriage certificate) which would be proof in the estimation of the most incredulous person living.
“I will move forward. The third and final step is my arrival here, after the news of Armadale's death has reached this area, as Armadale's widow, holding my marriage certificate to prove my claim. It's as clear as day. Thanks to the exact match between the two names and the careful way the secret of that similarity has been kept, I can be the wife of the dark Allan Armadale, known to no one but my husband and me; and from that very position, I can claim to be the widow of the light Allan Armadale, with solid proof (my marriage certificate) that would convince even the most skeptical person alive.
“To think of my having put all this in my Diary! To think of my having actually contemplated this very situation, and having seen nothing more in it, at the time, than a reason (if I married Midwinter) for consenting to appear in the world under my husband’s assumed name!
"Can you believe I wrote all this in my diary? To think that I actually considered this exact situation and saw nothing more in it, at the time, than a reason (if I married Midwinter) to step into the world using my husband's fake name!"
“What is it daunts me? The dread of obstacles? The fear of discovery?
“What is it that scares me? The fear of obstacles? The fear of being found out?
“Where are the obstacles? Where is the fear of discovery?
“Where are the obstacles? Where is the fear of being found out?
“I am actually suspected all over the neighborhood of intriguing to be mistress of Thorpe Ambrose. I am the only person who knows the real turn that Armadale’s inclinations have taken. Not a creature but myself is as yet aware of his early morning meetings with Miss Milroy. If it is necessary to part them, I can do it at any moment by an anonymous line to the major. If it is necessary to remove Armadale from Thorpe Ambrose, I can get him away at three days’ notice. His own lips informed me, when I last spoke to him, that he would go to the ends of the earth to be friends again with Midwinter, if Midwinter would let him. I have only to tell Midwinter to write from London, and ask to be reconciled; and Midwinter would obey me—and to London Armadale would go. Every difficulty, at starting, is smoothed over ready to my hand. Every after-difficulty I could manage for myself. In the whole venture—desperate as it looks to pass myself off for the widow of one man, while I am all the while the wife of the other—there is absolutely no necessity that wants twice considering, but the one terrible necessity of Armadale’s death.
“I’m actually suspected all around the neighborhood of trying to be the mistress of Thorpe Ambrose. I’m the only one who knows the true direction of Armadale’s feelings. No one but me is aware of his early morning meetings with Miss Milroy. If I need to separate them, I can do it at any moment with an anonymous note to the major. If I need to get Armadale out of Thorpe Ambrose, I can arrange it on three days’ notice. He himself told me, the last time we spoke, that he would go anywhere to be friends again with Midwinter, if Midwinter would allow it. I just need to tell Midwinter to write from London and ask to be reconciled; and he would listen to me—and Armadale would go to London. Every initial obstacle is easily handled by me. I could deal with any later problems myself. In this whole plan—desperate as it seems to pretend to be the widow of one man while actually being the wife of another—there’s really no necessity that needs to be thought over twice, except for the one awful necessity of Armadale’s death.”
“His death! It might be a terrible necessity to any other woman; but is it, ought it to be terrible to Me?
“His death! It might be a terrible necessity for any other woman; but should it be terrible for me?"
“I hate him for his mother’s sake. I hate him for his own sake. I hate him for going to London behind my back, and making inquiries about me. I hate him for forcing me out of my situation before I wanted to go. I hate him for destroying all my hopes of marrying him, and throwing me back helpless on my own miserable life. But, oh, after what I have done already in the past time, how can I? how can I?
“I hate him because of his mother. I hate him for who he is. I hate him for going to London without telling me and asking about me. I hate him for pushing me out of my job before I was ready to leave. I hate him for shattering all my dreams of marrying him and leaving me helpless in my unhappy life. But, oh, after everything I’ve already done in the past, how can I? How can I?”
“The girl, too—the girl who has come between us; who has taken him away from me; who has openly insulted me this very day—how the girl whose heart is set on him would feel it if he died! What a vengeance on her, if I did it! And when I was received as Armadale’s widow what a triumph for me. Triumph! It is more than triumph—it is the salvation of me. A name that can’t be assailed, a station that can’t be assailed, to hide myself in from my past life! Comfort, luxury, wealth! An income of twelve hundred a year secured to me secured by a will which has been looked at by a lawyer: secured independently of anything Armadale can say or do himself! I never had twelve hundred a year. At my luckiest time, I never had half as much, really my own. What have I got now? Just five pounds left in the world—and the prospect next week of a debtor’s prison.
“The girl, too—the girl who has come between us; who has taken him away from me; who has openly insulted me just today—how would the girl who’s so set on him feel if he died! What a revenge on her, if I did it! And when I’m recognized as Armadale’s widow, what a victory for me. Victory! It’s more than victory—it’s my redemption. A name that can’t be attacked, a position that can’t be challenged, a place to hide from my past! Comfort, luxury, wealth! An income of twelve hundred a year guaranteed to me, backed by a will that’s been reviewed by a lawyer: secured regardless of anything Armadale can say or do himself! I’ve never had twelve hundred a year. At my best moments, I never had even half that, truly my own. What do I have now? Just five pounds left to my name—and next week’s possibility of a debtor’s prison.
“But, oh, after what I have done already in the past time, how can I? how can I?
“But, oh, after what I’ve already done in the past, how can I? How can I?”
“Some women—in my place, and with my recollections to look back on—would feel it differently. Some women would say, ‘It’s easier the second time than the first.’ Why can’t I? why can’t I?
“Some women—in my position, and with my memories to reflect on—would feel it differently. Some women would say, ‘It’s easier the second time than the first.’ Why can’t I? why can’t I?
“Oh, you Devil tempting me, is there no Angel near to raise some timely obstacle between this and to-morrow which might help me to give it up?
“Oh, you Devil tempting me, is there no Angel around to put up a quick barrier between this and tomorrow that could help me to let it go?”
“I shall sink under it—I shall sink, if I write or think of it any more! I’ll shut up these leaves and go out again. I’ll get some common person to come with me, and we will talk of common things. I’ll take out the woman of the house, and her children. We will go and see something. There is a show of some kind in the town—I’ll treat them to it. I’m not such an ill-natured woman when I try; and the landlady has really been kind to me. Surely I might occupy my mind a little in seeing her and her children enjoying themselves.
“I’m going to lose it—I’m going to lose it if I write or think about this any more! I’ll close up these pages and step outside. I’ll find someone ordinary to come with me, and we’ll chat about everyday stuff. I’ll take the woman of the house and her kids out. We’ll go see something. There’s some kind of show in town—I’ll treat them to it. I’m not such a difficult person when I make an effort; and the landlady has really been nice to me. Surely I could keep myself busy by watching her and her kids having a good time."
“A minute since, I shut up these leaves as I said I would; and now I have opened them again, I don’t know why. I think my brain is turned. I feel as if something was lost out of my mind; I feel as if I ought to find it here.
“A minute ago, I closed these pages like I said I would; and now that I’ve opened them again, I don’t know why. I think I’ve lost it a bit. I feel like something is missing from my mind; I feel like I should find it here."
“I have found it! Midwinter!!!
"I found it! Midwinter!!!"
“Is it possible that I can have been thinking of the reasons For and Against, for an hour past—writing Midwinter’s name over and over again—speculating seriously on marrying him—and all the time not once remembering that, even with every other impediment removed, he alone, when the time came, would be an insurmountable obstacle in my way? Has the effort to face the consideration of Armadale’s death absorbed me to that degree? I suppose it has. I can’t account for such extraordinary forgetfulness on my part in any other way.
“Have I really been thinking about the pros and cons for the past hour—writing Midwinter’s name over and over—seriously considering marrying him—and not once remembering that, even with every other obstacle out of the way, he himself would be an unbreakable barrier when the moment comes? Has the effort to confront the implications of Armadale’s death consumed me to that extent? I guess it has. I can't explain such an incredible lapse of memory on my part any other way."
“Shall I stop and think it out, as I have thought out all the rest? Shall I ask myself if the obstacle of Midwinter would, after all, when the time came, be the unmanageable obstacle that it looks at present? No! What need is there to think of it? I have made up my mind to get the better of the temptation. I have made up my mind to give my landlady and her children a treat; I have made up my mind to close my Diary. And closed it shall be.
“Should I stop and think it through, just like I’ve done with everything else? Should I ask myself if the challenge of Midwinter will really be the insurmountable problem it seems right now? No! Why should I even think about it? I’ve decided to overcome the temptation. I’ve decided to treat my landlady and her kids. I’ve decided to close my Diary. And close it I will.”
“Six o’clock.—The landlady’s gossip is unendurable; the landlady’s children distract me. I have left them to run back here before post time and write a line to Mrs. Oldershaw.
“Six o’clock.—The landlady’s gossip is unbearable; her kids are distracting me. I left them to hurry back here before the mail arrives to write a note to Mrs. Oldershaw.”
“The dread that I shall sink under the temptation has grown stronger and stronger on me. I have determined to put it beyond my power to have my own way and follow my own will. Mother Oldershaw shall be the salvation of me for the first time since I have known her. If I can’t pay my note of hand, she threatens me with an arrest. Well, she shall arrest me. In the state my mind is in now, the best thing that can happen to me is to be taken away from Thorpe Ambrose, whether I like it or not. I will write and say that I am to be found here I will write and tell her, in so many words, that the best service she can render me is to lock me up.”
“The fear that I’ll give in to temptation has grown stronger and stronger. I’ve decided to make it impossible for me to act on my own desires. Mother Oldershaw will finally save me. If I can’t pay my promissory note, she threatens to have me arrested. Well, let her arrest me. Right now, with my mind in this state, the best thing that could happen is for me to be taken away from Thorpe Ambrose, whether I want it or not. I’ll write to let her know I can be found here; I’ll tell her, in no uncertain terms, that the best thing she can do for me is to lock me up.”
“Seven o’clock.—The letter has gone to the post. I had begun to feel a little easier, when the children came in to thank me for taking them to the show. One of them is a girl, and the girl upset me. She is a forward child, and her hair is nearly the color of mine. She said, ‘I shall be like you when I have grown bigger, shan’t I?’ Her idiot of a mother said, ‘Please to excuse her, miss,’ and took her out of the room, laughing. Like me! I don’t pretend to be fond of the child; but think of her being like me!”
“Seven o’clock.—The letter has been sent. I was starting to feel a bit better when the kids came in to thank me for taking them to the show. One of them is a girl, and she really bothered me. She’s such a bold child, and her hair is almost the same color as mine. She said, ‘I’m going to be like you when I get bigger, right?’ Her clueless mother said, ‘Please excuse her, miss,’ and took her out of the room, laughing. Just like me! I don’t claim to like the child, but can you believe she wants to be like me?”
“Saturday morning.—I have done well for once in acting on impulse, and writing as I did to Mrs. Oldershaw. The only new circumstance that has happened is another circumstance in my favor!
“Saturday morning.—I did a good job for once by acting on impulse and writing to Mrs. Oldershaw. The only new development that has occurred is another fortunate circumstance for me!
“Major Milroy has answered Armadale’s letter, entreating permission to call at the cottage and justify himself. His daughter read it in silence, when Armadale handed it to her at their meeting this morning, in the park. But they talked about it afterward, loud enough for me to hear them. The major persists in the course he has taken. He says his opinion of Armadale’s conduct has been formed, not on common report, but on Armadale’s own letters, and he sees no reason to alter the conclusion at which he arrived when the correspondence between them was closed.
“Major Milroy has replied to Armadale’s letter, asking for permission to visit the cottage and explain himself. His daughter read it quietly when Armadale handed it to her during their meeting this morning in the park. However, they discussed it afterward, loud enough for me to overhear. The major sticks to his guns. He claims his view of Armadale’s actions is based not on hearsay, but on Armadale’s own letters, and he has no reason to change the conclusion he reached when their correspondence ended.”
“This little matter had, I confess, slipped out of my memory. It might have ended awkwardly for me. If Major Milroy had been less obstinately wedded to his own opinion, Armadale might have justified himself; the marriage engagement might have been acknowledged; and all my power of influencing the matter might have been at an end. As it is, they must continue to keep the engagement strictly secret; and Miss Milroy, who has never ventured herself near the great house since the thunder-storm forced her into it for shelter, will be less likely than ever to venture there now. I can part them when I please; with an anonymous line to the major, I can part them when I please!
“This little matter had, I admit, slipped my mind. It could have ended badly for me. If Major Milroy hadn’t been so stubborn about his own opinion, Armadale might have cleared his name; the engagement might have been recognized, and all my influence over the situation could have been gone. As it stands, they have to keep the engagement completely under wraps; and Miss Milroy, who hasn’t dared to go near the big house since the thunderstorm drove her there for shelter, is even less likely to go there now. I can separate them whenever I want; with an anonymous note to the major, I can separate them whenever I want!
“After having discussed the letter, the talk between them turned on what they were to do next. Major Milroy’s severity, as it soon appeared, produced the usual results. Armadale returned to the subject of the elopement; and this time she listened to him. There is everything to drive her to it. Her outfit of clothes is nearly ready; and the summer holidays, at the school which has been chosen for her, end at the end of next week. When I left them, they had decided to meet again and settle something on Monday.
“After discussing the letter, their conversation shifted to what they should do next. Major Milroy’s harshness, as it soon became clear, led to the typical outcomes. Armadale brought up the elopement again, and this time she listened. There’s nothing stopping her now. Her clothes are almost ready, and the summer break at the school they picked for her ends next week. When I left them, they had agreed to meet again and figure things out on Monday.”
“The last words I heard him address to her, before I went away, shook me a little. He said: ‘There is one difficulty, Neelie, that needn’t trouble us, at any rate. I have got plenty of money.’ And then he kissed her. The way to his life began to look an easier way to me when he talked of his money, and kissed her.
“The last words I heard him say to her before I left really affected me. He said, ‘There’s one problem, Neelie, that we don’t need to worry about. I have plenty of money.’ And then he kissed her. His mention of money and that kiss made his path in life seem much easier to me.”
“Some hours have passed, and the more I think of it, the more I fear the blank interval between this time and the time when Mrs. Oldershaw calls in the law, and protects me against myself. It might have been better if I had stopped at home this morning. But how could I? After the insult she offered me yesterday, I tingled all over to go and look at her.
“Some hours have passed, and the more I think about it, the more I worry about the empty time between now and when Mrs. Oldershaw involves the law to protect me from myself. Maybe it would have been better if I had stayed home this morning. But how could I? After the insult she threw at me yesterday, I felt a strong urge to go and see her.”
“To-day; Sunday; Monday; Tuesday. They can’t arrest me for the money before Wednesday. And my miserable five pounds are dwindling to four! And he told her he had plenty of money! And she blushed and trembled when he kissed her. It might have been better for him, better for her, and better for me, if my debt had fallen due yesterday, and if the bailiffs had their hands on me at this moment.
“To-day; Sunday; Monday; Tuesday. They can’t arrest me for the money before Wednesday. And my miserable five pounds are dwindling to four! And he told her he had plenty of money! And she blushed and trembled when he kissed her. It might have been better for him, better for her, and better for me if my debt had been due yesterday, and if the bailiffs had their hands on me right now.”
“Suppose I had the means of leaving Thorpe Ambrose by the next train, and going somewhere abroad, and absorbing myself in some new interest, among new people. Could I do it, rather than look again at that easy way to his life which would smooth the way to everything else?
“Suppose I could leave Thorpe Ambrose on the next train, go somewhere overseas, and dive into a new interest with new people. Should I do that instead of taking that familiar route into his life that would make everything else easier?”
“Perhaps I might. But where is the money to come from? Surely some way of getting it struck me a day or two since? Yes; that mean idea of asking Armadale to help me! Well; I will be mean for once. I’ll give him the chance of making a generous use of that well-filled purse which it is such a comfort to him to reflect on in his present circumstances. It would soften my heart toward any man if he lent me money in my present extremity; and, if Armadale lends me money, it might soften my heart toward him. When shall I go? At once! I won’t give myself time to feel the degradation of it, and to change my mind.”
“Maybe I will. But where will the money come from? I thought of a way to get it a day or two ago. Yes; that selfish idea of asking Armadale for help! Well, I’ll be selfish just this once. I’ll give him the chance to make generous use of that well-filled wallet that he finds such comfort in thinking about in his current situation. It would warm my heart towards any man if he lent me money now; and if Armadale lends me money, it might even warm my heart toward him. When should I go? Right now! I won’t give myself time to dwell on the shame of it and change my mind.”
“Three ‘clock.—I mark the hour. He has sealed his own doom. He has insulted me.
“Three o'clock.—I note the time. He has sealed his own fate. He has disrespected me.
“Yes! I have suffered it once from Miss Milroy. And I have now suffered it a second time from Armadale himself. An insult—a marked, merciless, deliberate insult in the open day!
“Yes! I experienced it once from Miss Milroy. And I have now experienced it a second time from Armadale himself. An insult—a blatant, relentless, intentional insult in broad daylight!
“I had got through the town, and had advanced a few hundred yards along the road that leads to the great house, when I saw Armadale at a little distance, coming toward me. He was walking fast—evidently with some errand of his own to take him to the town. The instant he caught sight of me he stopped, colored up, took off his hat, hesitated, and turned aside down a lane behind him, which I happen to know would take him exactly in the contrary direction to the direction in which he was walking when he first saw me. His conduct said in so many words, ‘Miss Milroy may hear of it; I daren’t run the risk of being seen speaking to you.’ Men have used me heartlessly; men have done and said hard things to me; but no man living ever yet treated me as if I was plague-struck, and as if the very air about me was infected by my presence!
"I had made my way through the town and had walked a few hundred yards down the road leading to the big house when I spotted Armadale a short distance away, coming toward me. He was walking quickly—clearly on some errand of his own that took him to the town. The moment he saw me, he stopped, blushed, took off his hat, hesitated, and turned down a lane behind him, which I knew would lead him in the exact opposite direction from where he was heading when he first noticed me. His actions clearly communicated, ‘Miss Milroy might hear about this; I can't risk being seen talking to you.’ Men have treated me without compassion; men have done and said cruel things to me; but no man alive has ever made me feel as if I were contagious and that the very air around me was tainted by my presence!"
“I say no more. When he walked away from me down that lane, he walked to his death. I have written to Midwinter to expect me in London nest week, and to be ready for our marriage soon afterward.”
“I’ll say no more. When he walked away from me down that lane, he walked to his death. I’ve written to Midwinter to expect me in London next week, and to be ready for our marriage soon after.”
“Four o’clock.—Half an hour since, I put on my bonnet to go out and post the letter to Midwinter myself. And here I am, still in my room, with my mind torn by doubts, and my letter on the table.
“4:00 PM.—Half an hour ago, I put on my hat to go out and mail the letter to Midwinter myself. And here I am, still in my room, my mind filled with doubts, and my letter sitting on the table.
“Armadale counts for nothing in the perplexities that are now torturing me. It is Midwinter who makes me hesitate. Can I take the first of those three steps that lead me to the end, without the common caution of looking at consequences? Can I marry Midwinter, without knowing beforehand how to meet the obstacle of my husband, when the time comes which transforms me from the living Armadale’s wife to the dead Armadale’s widow?
“Armadale means nothing in the confusion that is now bothering me. It’s Midwinter who makes me second-guess myself. Can I take the first of those three steps that lead me to the end, without the usual caution of considering the consequences? Can I marry Midwinter, without knowing ahead of time how to deal with the situation of my husband, when the moment comes that changes me from the living Armadale’s wife to the dead Armadale’s widow?
“Why can’t I think of it, when I know I must think of it? Why can’t I look at it as steadily as I have looked at all the rest? I feel his kisses on my lips; I feel his tears on my bosom; I feel his arms round me again. He is far away in London; and yet, he is here and won’t let me think of it!
“Why can't I come up with it when I know I really need to? Why can’t I focus on it as clearly as I have with everything else? I feel his kisses on my lips; I feel his tears on my chest; I feel his arms around me again. He's far away in London, yet he is right here and won’t let me think of it!
“Why can’t I wait a little? Why can’t I let Time help me? Time? It’s Saturday! What need is there to think of it, unless I like? There is no post to London to-day. I must wait. If I posted the letter, it wouldn’t go. Besides, to-morrow I may hear from Mrs. Oldershaw. I ought to wait to hear from Mrs. Oldershaw. I can’t consider myself a free woman till I know what Mrs. Oldershaw means to do. There is a necessity for waiting till to-morrow. I shall take my bonnet off, and lock the letter up in my desk.”
“Why can’t I wait a little? Why can’t I let Time help me? Time? It’s Saturday! What’s the point of thinking about it, unless I want to? There’s no mail to London today. I *have* to wait. If I sent the letter, it wouldn’t go. Besides, tomorrow I might hear from Mrs. Oldershaw. I should wait to hear from Mrs. Oldershaw. I can’t think of myself as a free woman until I know what Mrs. Oldershaw plans to do. I need to wait until tomorrow. I’ll take off my bonnet and lock the letter in my desk.”
“Sunday morning.—There is no resisting it! One after another the circumstances crowd on me. They come thicker and thicker, and they all force me one way.
“Sunday morning.—I can't resist it! One after another, the circumstances pile up on me. They come faster and faster, and they're all pushing me in one direction.”
“I have got Mother Oldershaw’s answer. The wretch fawns on me, and cringes to me. I can see, as plainly as if she had acknowledged it, that she suspects me of seeing my own way to success at Thorpe Ambrose without her assistance. Having found threatening me useless, she tries coaxing me now. I am her darling Lydia again! She is quite shocked that I could imagine she ever really intended to arrest her bosom friend; and she has only to entreat me, as a favor to herself, to renew the bill!
“I've received Mother Oldershaw’s response. The unpleasant person is now flattering me and trying to win my favor. I can see it clearly, as if she had outright said it, that she suspects I might be able to succeed at Thorpe Ambrose without her help. After realizing that threatening me didn’t work, she’s switched to trying to persuade me instead. I'm her precious Lydia once more! She’s completely appalled that I could think she ever genuinely intended to betray her close friend; and all she needs to do is ask me, as a personal favor to her, to renew the bill!”
“I say once more, no mortal creature could resist it! Time after time I have tried to escape the temptation; and time after time the circumstances drive me back again. I can struggle no longer. The post that takes the letters to-night shall take my letter to Midwinter among the rest.
“I say again, no human can resist it! Again and again I've tried to escape the temptation; and again and again the circumstances pull me back. I can’t fight it anymore. The post that delivers the letters tonight will also take my letter to Midwinter along with the others.
“To-night! If I give myself till to-night, something else may happen. If I give myself till to-night, I may hesitate again. I’m weary of the torture of hesitating. I must and will have relief in the present, cost what it may in the future. My letter to Midwinter will drive me mad if I see it staring and staring at me in my desk any longer. I can post it in ten minutes’ time—and I will!
“To-night! If I wait until tonight, something else might come up. If I wait until tonight, I could end up hesitating once more. I'm tired of the agony of indecision. I need to find relief right now, no matter what it may cost me later. That letter to Midwinter will drive me crazy if I keep seeing it just sitting there in my desk any longer. I can mail it in ten minutes—and I will!”
“It is done. The first of the three steps that lead me to the end is a step taken. My mind is quieter—the letter is in the post.
“It’s done. The first of the three steps that lead me to the end is a step taken. My mind is quieter—the letter is in the mail.
“By to-morrow Midwinter will receive it. Before the end of the week Armadale must be publicly seen to leave Thorpe Ambrose; and I must be publicly seen to leave with him.
“By tomorrow, Midwinter will get it. Before the end of the week, Armadale has to be seen leaving Thorpe Ambrose publicly; and I need to be seen leaving with him.”
“Have I looked at the consequences of my marriage to Midwinter? No! Do I know how to meet the obstacle of my husband, when the time comes which transforms me from the living Armadale’s wife to the dead Armadale’s widow?
“Have I considered the consequences of my marriage to Midwinter? No! Do I know how to deal with the challenge of my husband when the time comes that changes me from the living Armadale’s wife to the deceased Armadale’s widow?"
“No! When the time comes, I must meet the obstacle as I best may. I am going blindfold, then—so far as Midwinter is concerned—into this frightful risk? Yes; blindfold. Am I out of my senses? Very likely. Or am I a little too fond of him to look the thing in the face? I dare say. Who cares?
“No! When the time comes, I have to face the obstacle as best as I can. I'm going in blind—at least where Midwinter is concerned—into this terrifying risk? Yes; blind. Am I losing my mind? Probably. Or am I just a bit too attached to him to confront the reality? I guess so. Who cares?
“I won’t, I won’t, I won’t think of it! Haven’t I a will of my own? And can’t I think, if I like, of something else?
“I won’t, I won’t, I won’t think about it! Don’t I have my own will? And can’t I choose to think of something else if I want?”
“Here is Mother Jezebel’s cringing letter. That is something else to think of. I’ll answer it. I am in a fine humor for writing to Mother Jezebel.”
“Here is Mother Jezebel’s cringeworthy letter. That is another thing to consider. I’ll respond to it. I’m in a great mood to write to Mother Jezebel.”
Conclusion of Miss Gwilt’s Letter to Mrs. Oldershaw.
Conclusion of Miss Gwilt’s Letter to Mrs. Oldershaw.
“...I told you, when I broke off, that I would wait before I finished this, and ask my Diary if I could safely tell you what I have now got it in my mind to do. Well, I have asked; and my Diary says, ‘Don’t tell her!’ Under these circumstances I close my letter—with my best excuses for leaving you in the dark.
“...I told you when we parted that I would wait before finishing this and ask my Diary if I could safely share what I’m now planning to do. Well, I asked, and my Diary says, ‘Don’t tell her!’ Given this, I’m closing my letter, with my sincerest apologies for leaving you in the dark.”
“I shall probably be in London before long—and I may tell you by word of mouth what I don’t think it safe to write here. Mind, I make no promise! It all depends on how I feel toward you at the time. I don’t doubt your discretion; but (under certain circumstances) I am not so sure of your courage. L. G.”
“I’ll probably be in London soon—and I can tell you in person what I don't think is safe to write here. Just so you know, I’m not making any promises! It all depends on how I feel about you at the time. I trust your discretion; but (in certain situations) I’m not so sure about your courage. L. G.”
“P. S.—My best thanks for your permission to renew the bill. I decline profiting by the proposal. The money will be ready when the money is due. I have a friend now in London who will pay it if I ask him. Do you wonder who the friend is? You will wonder at one or two other things, Mrs. Oldershaw, before many weeks more are over your head and mine.”
“P.S.—Thank you so much for letting me renew the bill. I won’t take advantage of the offer. The money will be ready when it’s due. I have a friend in London who will pay it if I need him to. Are you curious about who this friend is? You’ll be surprised by one or two other things, Mrs. Oldershaw, before a few more weeks go by for both of us.”
XI. LOVE AND LAW.
On the morning of Monday, the 28th of July, Miss Gwilt—once more on the watch for Allan and Neelie—reached her customary post of observation in the park, by the usual roundabout way.
On the morning of Monday, July 28th, Miss Gwilt—once again keeping an eye out for Allan and Neelie—arrived at her usual spot in the park, taking her typical longer route.
She was a little surprised to find Neelie alone at the place of meeting. She was more seriously astonished, when the tardy Allan made his appearance ten minutes later, to see him mounting the side of the dell, with a large volume under his arm, and to hear him say, as an apology for being late, that “he had muddled away his time in hunting for the Books; and that he had only found one, after all, which seemed in the least likely to repay either Neelie or himself for the trouble of looking into it.”
She was a bit surprised to find Neelie alone at the meeting spot. She was even more shocked when the late Allan showed up ten minutes later, climbing up the side of the dell with a big book under his arm. He explained his tardiness by saying he had wasted time searching for the books and had only found one that seemed worth Neelie’s or his time to check out.
If Miss Gwilt had waited long enough in the park, on the previous Saturday, to hear the lovers’ parting words on that occasion, she would have been at no loss to explain the mystery of the volume under Allan’s arm, and she would have understood the apology which he now offered for being late as readily as Neelie herself.
If Miss Gwilt had spent enough time in the park the previous Saturday to hear the lovers’ goodbye, she would have easily figured out the mystery of the book under Allan’s arm, and she would have understood his apology for being late just as quickly as Neelie did.
There is a certain exceptional occasion in life—the occasion of marriage—on which even girls in their teens sometimes become capable (more or less hysterically) of looking at consequences. At the farewell moment of the interview on Saturday, Neelie’s mind had suddenly precipitated itself into the future; and she had utterly confounded Allan by inquiring whether the contemplated elopement was an offense punishable by the Law? Her memory satisfied her that she had certainly read somewhere, at some former period, in some book or other (possibly a novel), of an elopement with a dreadful end—of a bride dragged home in hysterics—and of a bridegroom sentenced to languish in prison, with all his beautiful hair cut off, by Act of Parliament, close to his head. Supposing she could bring herself to consent to the elopement at all—which she positively declined to promise—she must first insist on discovering whether there was any fear of the police being concerned in her marriage as well as the parson and the clerk. Allan, being a man, ought to know; and to Allan she looked for information—with this preliminary assurance to assist him in laying down the law, that she would die of a broken heart a thousand times over, rather than be the innocent means of sending him to languish in prison, and of cutting his hair off, by Act of Parliament, close to his head. “It’s no laughing matter,” said Neelie, resolutely, in conclusion; “I decline even to think of our marriage till my mind is made easy first on the subject of the Law.”
There’s a special moment in life—marriage—when even teenage girls can sometimes think about the consequences, albeit a bit dramatically. During their farewell on Saturday, Neelie's thoughts unexpectedly jumped to the future, and she completely caught Allan off guard by asking whether their planned elopement would be a crime punishable by law. She recalled having read somewhere before, maybe in a novel, about an elopement that ended terribly—of a bride being dragged home in hysterics and a groom sentenced to languish in prison with all his beautiful hair cut off by law, right down to his scalp. If she could even consider agreeing to the elopement—which she firmly refused to promise—she needed to find out if there was any risk of the police getting involved in her marriage, alongside the priest and the clerk. Being a man, Allan should know, and she turned to him for answers, making it clear that she would rather die of heartbreak a thousand times than be the innocent reason for sending him to prison and getting his hair cut off by law. “This isn’t a joke,” Neelie said firmly in conclusion; “I won’t even think about our marriage until I’m sure about the legal aspects.”
“But I don’t know anything about the law, not even as much as you do,” said Allan. “Hang the law! I don’t mind my head being cropped. Let’s risk it.”
“But I don’t know anything about the law, not even as much as you do,” said Allan. “Forget the law! I don’t care if I get my head shaved. Let’s go for it.”
“Risk it?” repeated Neelie, indignantly. “Have you no consideration for me? I won’t risk it! Where there’s a will, there’s a way. We must find out the law for ourselves.”
“Risk it?” Neelie repeated, annoyed. “Do you have no thought for me? I won’t take that chance! Where there’s a will, there’s a way. We need to figure out the law for ourselves.”
“With all my heart,” said Allan. “How?”
“With all my heart,” Allan said. “How?”
“Out of books, to be sure! There must be quantities of information in that enormous library of yours at the great house. If you really love me, you won’t mind going over the backs of a few thousand books, for my sake!”
“Out of books, for sure! There has to be tons of information in that huge library of yours at the big house. If you truly love me, you won’t mind going through the backs of a few thousand books, just for me!”
“I’ll go over the backs of ten thousand!” cried Allan, warmly. “Would you mind telling me what I’m to look for?”
“I'll go over the backs of ten thousand!” Allan exclaimed passionately. “Could you please tell me what I should be looking for?”
“For ‘Law,’ to be sure! When it says ‘Law’ on the back, open it, and look inside for Marriage—read every word of it—and then come here and explain it to me. What! you don’t think your head is to be trusted to do such a simple thing as that?”
“For ‘Law,’ of course! When it says ‘Law’ on the back, open it up and look inside for Marriage—read every word—and then come here and explain it to me. What! You don’t think your head can handle such a simple task?”
“I’m certain it isn’t,” said Allan. “Can’t you help me?”
“I’m sure it isn’t,” Allan said. “Can’t you help me?”
“Of course I can, if you can’t manage without me! Law may be hard, but it can’t be harder than music; and I must, and will, satisfy my mind. Bring me all the books you can find, on Monday morning—in a wheelbarrow, if there are a good many of them, and if you can’t manage it in any other way.”
“Of course I can, if you can't get by without me! Law might be tough, but it can't be tougher than music; and I need to, and will, satisfy my mind. Bring me all the books you can find on Monday morning—in a wheelbarrow, if there are a lot of them, and if you can't figure out another way.”
The result of this conversation was Allan’s appearance in the park, with a volume of Blackstone’s Commentaries under his arm, on the fatal Monday morning, when Miss Gwilt’s written engagement of marriage was placed in Midwinter’s hands. Here again, in this, as in all other human instances, the widely discordant elements of the grotesque and the terrible were forced together by that subtle law of contrast which is one of the laws of mortal life. Amid all the thickening complications now impending over their heads—with the shadow of meditated murder stealing toward one of them already from the lurking-place that hid Miss Gwilt—the two sat down, unconscious of the future, with the book between them; and applied themselves to the study of the law of marriage, with a grave resolution to understand it, which, in two such students, was nothing less than a burlesque in itself!
The result of this conversation was Allan showing up in the park, carrying a copy of Blackstone’s Commentaries under his arm, on that tragic Monday morning when Miss Gwilt’s written engagement to marry was handed to Midwinter. Here again, as in all human experiences, the wildly contrasting elements of the absurd and the horrific were forced together by that subtle law of contrast that governs mortal life. Despite all the growing complications looming over them—with the threat of planned murder already creeping toward one of them from where Miss Gwilt was hiding—the two sat down, oblivious to the future, with the book between them. They devoted themselves to studying the law of marriage, with a serious determination to grasp it, which for two such students amounted to nothing less than a farce in itself!
“Find the place,” said Neelie, as soon as they were comfortably established. “We must manage this by what they call a division of labor. You shall read, and I’ll take notes.”
“Find the place,” Neelie said, as soon as they were comfortably settled. “We need to handle this with what they call a division of labor. You read, and I’ll take notes.”
She produced forthwith a smart little pocket-book and pencil, and opened the book in the middle, where there was a blank page on the right hand and the left. At the top of the right-hand page she wrote the word Good. At the top of the left-hand page she wrote the word Bad. “‘Good’ means where the law is on our side,” she explained; “and ‘Bad’ means where the law is against us. We will have ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ opposite each other, all down the two pages; and when we get to the bottom, we’ll add them up, and act accordingly. They say girls have no heads for business. Haven’t they! Don’t look at me—look at Blackstone, and begin.”
She quickly took out a cute little pocketbook and pencil, and opened the book in the middle, where there was a blank page on both sides. At the top of the right-hand page, she wrote the word Good. At the top of the left-hand page, she wrote the word Bad. “‘Good’ means when the law is on our side,” she explained; “and ‘Bad’ means when the law is against us. We'll list ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ opposite each other down the two pages; and when we reach the bottom, we’ll add them up and act accordingly. They say girls aren't good at business. Really? Don't look at me—look at Blackstone and get started.”
“Would you mind giving one a kiss first?” asked Allan.
“Could you give one a kiss first?” Allan asked.
“I should mind it very much. In our serious situation, when we have both got to exert our intellects, I wonder you can ask for such a thing!”
"I really should care about it. Given our serious situation, where we both need to use our minds, I can't believe you'd ask for something like that!"
“That’s why I asked for it,” said the unblushing Allan. “I feel as if it would clear my head.”
“That's why I asked for it,” said Allan without any shame. “I feel like it would clear my mind.”
“Oh, if it would clear your head, that’s quite another thing! I must clear your head, of course, at any sacrifice. Only one, mind,” she whispered, coquettishly; “and pray be careful of Blackstone, or you’ll lose the place.”
“Oh, if it would clear your head, that’s a different story! I have to clear your head, of course, no matter the cost. Just one thing, though,” she whispered playfully; “and please be careful with Blackstone, or you’ll risk losing the spot.”
There was a pause in the conversation. Blackstone and the pocket-book both rolled on the ground together.
There was a break in the conversation. Blackstone and the wallet both tumbled to the ground together.
“If this happens again,” said Neelie, picking up the pocket-book, with her eyes and her complexion at their brightest and best, “I shall sit with my back to you for the rest of the morning. Will you go on?”
“If this happens again,” said Neelie, picking up the pocketbook, her eyes and complexion shining at their brightest, “I’ll sit with my back to you for the rest of the morning. Will you keep going?”
Allan found his place for the second time, and fell headlong into the bottomless abyss of the English Law.
Allan found his spot for the second time and plunged headfirst into the endless void of English Law.
“Page 280,” he began. “Law of husband and wife. Here’s a bit I don’t understand, to begin with: ‘It may be observed generally that the law considers marriage in the light of a Contract.’ What does that mean? I thought a contract was the sort of a thing a builder signs when he promises to have the workmen out of the house in a given time, and when the time comes (as my poor mother used to say) the workmen never go.”
“Page 280,” he started. “Law of husband and wife. Here’s something I don’t get, to start with: ‘It may be observed generally that the law sees marriage as a Contract.’ What’s that supposed to mean? I thought a contract was the kind of thing a builder signs when he promises to have the workers out of the house by a certain time, and when that time comes (as my poor mother used to say) the workers never leave.”
“Is there nothing about Love?” asked Neelie. “Look a little lower down.”
“Is there nothing about Love?” Neelie asked. “Check a little further down.”
“Not a word. He sticks to his confounded ‘Contract’ all the way through.”
“Not a word. He sticks to his damn ‘Contract’ the entire time.”
“Then he’s a brute! Go on to something else that’s more in our way.”
“Then he’s a jerk! Move on to something else that’s more in our way.”
“Here’s a bit that’s more in our way: ‘Incapacities. If any persons under legal incapacities come together, it is a meretricious, and not a matrimonial union.’ (Blackstone’s a good one at long words, isn’t he? I wonder what he means by meretricious?) ‘The first of these legal disabilities is a prior marriage, and having another husband or wife living—‘”
“Here’s something that fits us better: ‘Incapacities. If anyone with legal incapacities comes together, it’s a sham, not a real marriage.’ (Blackstone loves using long words, doesn’t he? I wonder what he means by sham?) ‘The first of these legal disabilities is being already married, with another husband or wife still alive—‘”
“Stop!” said Neelie; “I must make a note of that.” She gravely made her first entry on the page headed “Good,” as follows: “I have no husband, and Allan has no wife. We are both entirely unmarried at the present time.”
“Stop!” said Neelie; “I need to write that down.” She seriously made her first note on the page titled “Good,” which said: “I have no husband, and Allan has no wife. We are both completely single right now.”
“All right, so far,” remarked Allan, looking over her shoulder.
“All right, so far,” Allan said, glancing over her shoulder.
“Go on,” said Neelie. “What next?”
“Go on,” Neelie said. “What’s next?”
“‘The next disability,’” proceeded Allan, “‘is want of age. The age for consent to matrimony is, fourteen in males, and twelve in females.’ Come!” cried Allan, cheerfully, “Blackstone begins early enough, at any rate!”
“‘The next issue,’” continued Allan, “‘is lack of age. The legal age for consent to marriage is fourteen for males and twelve for females.’ Come on!” Allan exclaimed happily, “At least Blackstone starts early enough!”
Neelie was too business-like to make any other remark, on her side, than the necessary remark in the pocket-book. She made another entry under the head of “Good”: “I am old enough to consent, and so is Allan too. Go on,” resumed Neelie, looking over the reader’s shoulder. “Never mind all that prosing of Blackstone’s, about the husband being of years of discretion, and the wife under twelve. Abominable wretch! the wife under twelve! Skip to the third incapacity, if there is one.”
Neelie was too professional to say anything else, other than the required note in her notebook. She made another entry under the category of “Good”: “I’m old enough to agree, and so is Allan. Go ahead,” Neelie continued, looking over the reader’s shoulder. “Forget all that boring stuff from Blackstone about the husband being of age and the wife being under twelve. What a terrible thing! A wife under twelve! Skip to the third incapacity, if there is one.”
“‘The third incapacity,’” Allan went on, “‘is want of reason.’”
“‘The third incapacity,’” Allan continued, “‘is lack of reason.’”
Neelie immediately made a third entry on the side of “Good”: “Allan and I are both perfectly reasonable. Skip to the next page.”
Neelie quickly added a third note on the “Good” side: “Allan and I are both completely reasonable. Move on to the next page.”
Allan skipped. “‘A fourth incapacity is in respect of proximity of relationship.’”
Allan skipped. “‘A fourth incapacity is about the closeness of the relationship.’”
A fourth entry followed instantly on the cheering side of the pocket-book: “He loves me, and I love him—without our being in the slightest degree related to each other. Any more?” asked Neelie, tapping her chin impatiently with the end of the pencil.
A fourth entry quickly came after the cheers from the wallet: “He loves me, and I love him—without us being in any way related. Anything else?” asked Neelie, tapping her chin impatiently with the tip of the pencil.
“Plenty more,” rejoined Allan; “all in hieroglyphics. Look here: ‘Marriage Acts, 4 Geo. IV., c. 76, and 6 and 7 Will. IV., c. 85 (q).’ Blackstone’s intellect seems to be wandering here. Shall we take another skip, and see if he picks himself up again on the next page?”
“Plenty more,” Allan replied; “all in hieroglyphics. Look at this: ‘Marriage Acts, 4 Geo. IV., c. 76, and 6 and 7 Will. IV., c. 85 (q).’ Blackstone’s thinking seems to be all over the place here. Should we turn the page and see if he gets back on track?”
“Wait a little,” said Neelie; “what’s that I see in the middle?” She read for a minute in silence, over Allan’s shoulder, and suddenly clasped her hands in despair. “I knew I was right!” she exclaimed. “Oh, heavens, here it is!”
“Wait a second,” Neelie said; “what’s that I see in the middle?” She read silently for a minute, looking over Allan’s shoulder, and suddenly clasped her hands in despair. “I knew I was right!” she exclaimed. “Oh my God, here it is!”
“Where?” asked Allan. “I see nothing about languishing in prison, and cropping a fellow’s hair close to his head, unless it’s in the hieroglyphics. Is ‘4 Geo. IV.’ short for ‘Lock him up’? and does ‘c. 85 (q)’ mean, ‘Send for the hair-cutter’?”
“Where?” Allan asked. “I don’t see anything about being locked up in prison or shaving someone’s head, unless it’s in the hieroglyphics. Is ‘4 Geo. IV.’ a shorthand for ‘Lock him up’? And does ‘c. 85 (q)’ mean, ‘Get the barber’?”
“Pray be serious,” remonstrated Neelie. “We are both sitting on a volcano. There,” she said pointing to the place. “Read it! If anything can bring you to a proper sense of our situation, that will.”
“Please be serious,” Neelie urged. “We’re both sitting on a volcano. There,” she said, pointing to the spot. “Read it! If anything can help you understand the gravity of our situation, that will.”
Allan cleared his throat, and Neelie held the point of her pencil ready on the depressing side of the account—otherwise the “Bad” page of the pocket-book.
Allan cleared his throat, and Neelie kept the tip of her pencil poised over the negative side of the account—otherwise known as the “Bad” page of the pocket-book.
“‘And as it is the policy of our law,’” Allan began, “‘to prevent the marriage of persons under the age of twenty-one, without the consent of parents and guardians’”—(Neelie made her first entry on the side of “Bad!” “I’m only seventeen next birthday, and circumstances forbid me to confide my attachment to papa”)—“‘it is provided that in the case of the publication of banns of a person under twenty-one, not being a widower or widow, who are deemed emancipated’”—(Neelie made another entry on the depressing side: “Allan is not a widower, and I am not a widow; consequently, we are neither of us emancipated”)—“‘if the parent or guardian openly signifies his dissent at the time the banns are published’”—(“which papa would be certain to do”)—“‘such publication would be void.’ I’ll take breath here if you’ll allow me,” said Allan. “Blackstone might put it in shorter sentences, I think, if he can’t put it in fewer words. Cheer up, Neelie! there must be other ways of marrying, besides this roundabout way, that ends in a Publication and a Void. Infernal gibberish! I could write better English myself.”
“‘And since it’s the law,’” Allan started, “‘to prevent the marriage of anyone under twenty-one without the consent of their parents or guardians—’” (Neelie made her first note on the side of “Bad!” “I’m only seventeen next birthday, and circumstances forbid me from telling Dad about my feelings”)—“‘it states that if the banns are published for someone under twenty-one, who is not a widower or widow, and who is considered emancipated—’” (Neelie noted again on the depressing side: “Allan is not a widower, and I am not a widow; so, we are neither of us emancipated”)—“‘if the parent or guardian openly shows disagreement at the time the banns are published—’” (“which Dad would definitely do”)—“‘then that publication would be invalid.’ I’ll take a breath here if you don’t mind,” said Allan. “Blackstone could probably say this in shorter sentences, if not fewer words. Cheer up, Neelie! There have to be other ways to get married besides this roundabout method that leads to a Publication and a Void. What nonsense! I could write better English myself.”
“We are not at the end of it yet,” said Neelie. “The Void is nothing to what is to come.”
"We're not done with this yet," Neelie said. "The Void is nothing compared to what's coming."
“Whatever it is,” rejoined Allan, “we’ll treat it like a dose of physic—we’ll take it at once, and be done with it.” He went on reading: “‘And no license to marry without banns shall be granted, unless oath shall be first made by one of the parties that he or she believes that there is no impediment of kindred or alliance’—well, I can take my oath of that with a safe conscience! What next? ‘And one of the said parties must, for the space of fifteen days immediately preceding such license, have had his or her usual place of abode within the parish or chapelry within which such marriage is to be solemnized!’ Chapelry! I’d live fifteen days in a dog-kennel with the greatest pleasure. I say, Neelie, all this seems like plain sailing enough. What are you shaking your head about? Go on, and I shall see? Oh, all right; I’ll go on. Here we are: ‘And where one of the said parties, not being a widower or widow, shall be under the age of twenty-one years, oath must first be made that the consent of the person or persons whose consent is required has been obtained, or that there is no person having authority to give such consent. The consent required by this act is that of the father—‘” At those last formidable words Allan came to a full stop. “The consent of the father,” he repeated, with all needful seriousness of look and manner. “I couldn’t exactly swear to that, could I?”
“Whatever it is,” Allan replied, “we’ll handle it like medicine—we’ll deal with it right away and be done with it.” He continued reading: “‘And no marriage license shall be granted without banns unless one of the parties first swears that he or she believes there is no impediment due to kinship or alliance’—well, I can swear to that without any guilt! What’s next? ‘And one of the parties must have had their usual place of residence within the parish or chapelry where the marriage is to take place for the fifteen days immediately before such a license is granted!’ Chapelry! I’d gladly spend fifteen days in a dog kennel. I say, Neelie, all this seems pretty straightforward. Why are you shaking your head? Should I keep going? Oh, fine; I’ll continue. Here we go: ‘And if one of the parties, who is not a widower or widow, is under the age of twenty-one, a sworn statement must be made that the consent of the person or persons whose consent is needed has been obtained, or that there is no one with the authority to give such consent. The consent required by this act is that of the father—’” At those last daunting words, Allan halted completely. “The consent of the father,” he echoed, with all the seriousness necessary. “I can't exactly swear to that, can I?”
Neelie answered in expressive silence. She handed him the pocket-book, with the final entry completed, on the side of “Bad,” in these terms: “Our marriage is impossible, unless Allan commits perjury.”
Neelie responded with silent emotion. She handed him the pocketbook, with the last entry finished, on the side of “Bad,” stating: “Our marriage is impossible unless Allan lies under oath.”
The lovers looked at each other, across the insuperable obstacle of Blackstone, in speechless dismay.
The lovers stared at each other, across the huge barrier of Blackstone, in silent shock.
“Shut up the book,” said Neelie, resignedly. “I have no doubt we should find the police, and the prison, and the hair-cutting—all punishments for perjury, exactly as I told you!—if we looked at the next page. But we needn’t trouble ourselves to look; we have found out quite enough already. It’s all over with us. I must go to school on Saturday, and you must manage to forget me as soon as you can. Perhaps we may meet in after-life, and you may be a widower and I may be a widow, and the cruel law may consider us emancipated, when it’s too late to be of the slightest use. By that time, no doubt, I shall be old and ugly, and you will naturally have ceased to care about me, and it will all end in the grave, and the sooner the better. Good-by,” concluded Neelie, rising mournfully, with the tears in her eyes. “It’s only prolonging our misery to stop here, unless—unless you have anything to propose?”
“Shut the book,” Neelie said, feeling defeated. “I’m sure if we looked at the next page, we’d find out about the police, the prison, and the hair-cutting—all punishments for perjury, just as I told you! But we don't need to check; we’ve learned enough already. It’s all over for us. I have to go to school on Saturday, and you need to try to forget me as quickly as you can. Maybe we’ll meet again in another life, and you’ll be a widower and I’ll be a widow, and the cruel law might see us as free, but by then it’ll be too late to matter. By that time, I’ll probably be old and unattractive, and you’ll naturally stop caring about me, and it will all end in the grave, and the sooner the better. Goodbye,” Neelie finished, standing up sadly, tears in her eyes. “It’s just dragging out our pain to stay here, unless—unless you have something to suggest?”
“I’ve got something to propose,” cried the headlong Allan. “It’s an entirely new idea. Would you mind trying the blacksmith at Gretna Green?”
“I have a proposal,” shouted the impulsive Allan. “It’s a completely new idea. Would you consider going to the blacksmith in Gretna Green?”
“No earthly consideration,” answered Neelie, indignantly, “would induce me to be married by a blacksmith!”
“No earthly consideration,” Neelie replied angrily, “would make me want to get married by a blacksmith!”
“Don’t be offended,” pleaded Allan; “I meant it for the best. Lots of people in our situation have tried the blacksmith, and found him quite as good as a clergyman, and a most amiable man, I believe, into the bargain. Never mind! We must try another string to our bow.”
“Don’t take offense,” Allan urged; “I had good intentions. Lots of people in our position have sought out the blacksmith and found him just as good as a clergyman, and I believe he’s a really nice guy too. Anyway! We need to find another option.”
“We haven’t got another to try,” said Neelie.
“We don’t have another one to try,” said Neelie.
“Take my word for it,” persisted Allan, stoutly, “there must be ways and means of circumventing Blackstone (without perjury), if we only knew of them. It’s a matter of law, and we must consult somebody in the profession. I dare say it’s a risk. But nothing venture, nothing have. What do you say to young Pedgift? He’s a thorough good fellow. I’m sure we could trust young Pedgift to keep our secret.”
“Trust me on this,” Allan insisted firmly, “there have to be ways to get around Blackstone (without lying), if only we knew what they were. It's a legal issue, and we need to consult someone in the field. I know it’s risky, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. What do you think about young Pedgift? He’s a really good guy. I’m sure we can count on young Pedgift to keep our secret.”
“Not for worlds!” exclaimed Neelie. “You may be willing to trust your secrets to the vulgar little wretch; I won’t have him trusted with mine. I hate him. No!” she concluded, with a mounting color and a peremptory stamp of her foot on the grass. “I positively forbid you to take any of the Thorpe Ambrose people into your confidence. They would instantly suspect me, and it would be all over the place in a moment. My attachment may be an unhappy one,” remarked Neelie, with her handkerchief to her eyes, “and papa may nip it in the bud, but I won’t have it profaned by the town gossip!”
“Not for the world!” Neelie exclaimed. “You might be okay with sharing your secrets with that awful little creep; I refuse to trust him with mine. I can’t stand him. No!” she concluded, her face reddening and stamping her foot on the grass. “I absolutely forbid you to confide in any of the Thorpe Ambrose people. They would immediately suspect me, and it would spread everywhere in no time. My feelings might be doomed,” Neelie said, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief, “and Dad might put an end to it, but I won’t let it be tarnished by town gossip!”
“Hush! hush!” said Allan. “I won’t say a word at Thorpe Ambrose, I won’t indeed!” He paused, and considered for a moment. “There’s another way!” he burst out, brightening up on the instant. “We’ve got the whole week before us. I’ll tell you what I’ll do, I’ll go to London!”
“Hush! hush!” said Allan. “I won’t say anything at Thorpe Ambrose, I promise!” He paused and thought for a moment. “There’s another way!” he exclaimed, suddenly looking more cheerful. “We’ve got the whole week ahead of us. Here’s what I’ll do: I’ll go to London!”
There was a sudden rustling—heard neither by one nor the other—among the trees behind them that screened Miss Gwilt. One more of the difficulties in her way (the difficulty of getting Allan to London) now promised to be removed by an act of Allan’s own will.
There was a sudden rustling—noticed by neither of them—among the trees behind them that concealed Miss Gwilt. One more obstacle in her path (the challenge of getting Allan to London) now seemed like it would be cleared away by a decision made by Allan himself.
“To London?” repeated Neelie, looking up in astonishment.
“To London?” Neelie echoed, gazing up in shock.
“To London!” reiterated Allan. “That’s far enough away from Thorpe Ambrose, surely? Wait a minute, and don’t forget that this is a question of law. Very well, I know some lawyers in London who managed all my business for me when I first came in for this property; they are just the men to consult. And if they decline to be mixed up in it, there’s their head clerk, who is one of the best fellows I ever met with in my life. I asked him to go yachting with me, I remember; and, though he couldn’t go, he said he felt the obligation all the same. That’s the man to help us. Blackstone’s a mere infant to him. Don’t say it’s absurd; don’t say it’s exactly like me. Do pray hear me out. I won’t breathe your name or your father’s. I’ll describe you as ‘a young lady to whom I am devotedly attached.’ And if my friend the clerk asks where you live, I’ll say the north of Scotland, or the west of Ireland, or the Channel Islands, or anywhere else you like. My friend the clerk is a total stranger to Thorpe Ambrose and everybody in it (which is one recommendation); and in five minutes’ time he’d put me up to what to do (which is another). If you only knew him! He’s one of those extraordinary men who appear once or twice in a century—the sort of man who won’t allow you to make a mistake if you try. All I have got to say to him (putting it short) is, ‘My dear fellow, I want to be privately married without perjury.’ All he has got to say to me (putting it short) is, ‘You must do so-and-so and so-and-so, and you must be careful to avoid this, that, and the other.’ I have nothing in the world to do but to follow his directions; and you have nothing in the world to do but what the bride always does when the bridegroom is ready and willing!” His arm stole round Neelie’s waist, and his lips pointed the moral of the last sentence with that inarticulate eloquence which is so uniformly successful in persuading a woman against her will.
“To London!” Allan repeated. “That’s far enough from Thorpe Ambrose, right? Wait a minute, and remember this is a legal matter. I know some lawyers in London who handled all my business when I first got this property; they're the right people to consult. And if they don’t want to get involved, their head clerk is one of the best guys I’ve ever met. I asked him to go yachting with me once; he couldn’t make it, but he said he felt bad about it anyway. He’s the one to help us. Blackstone is like a kid compared to him. Don’t call it ridiculous; don’t say it’s just like me. Please listen. I won’t mention your name or your father’s. I’ll just say you’re ‘a young lady to whom I am devotedly attached.’ And if my friend the clerk asks where you live, I'll say the north of Scotland, or the west of Ireland, or the Channel Islands, or wherever you prefer. My friend the clerk doesn’t know anyone in Thorpe Ambrose (which is a plus); and he would advise me on what to do in five minutes (which is another plus). If you only knew him! He’s one of those rare people you meet once in a while—the kind of person who won’t let you make a mistake if you try. All I need to say to him (in short) is, ‘My dear fellow, I want to get married privately without any legal issues.’ All he’ll need to say to me (in short) is, ‘You need to do this, this, and this, and be careful to avoid this, that, and the other.’ All I have to do is follow his advice; and all you have to do is what brides usually do when the groom is ready and willing!” His arm wrapped around Neelie’s waist, and his lips emphasized the last point with that unspoken charm that often convinces a woman against her better judgment.
All Neelie’s meditated objections dwindled, in spite of her, to one feeble little question. “Suppose I allow you to go, Allan?” she whispered, toying nervously with the stud in the bosom of his shirt. “Shall you be very long away?”
All of Neelie’s hesitant objections faded away, despite herself, to one weak little question. “What if I let you go, Allan?” she whispered, nervously fiddling with the stud in the front of his shirt. “Will you be gone for a long time?”
“I’ll be off to-day,” said Allan, “by the eleven o’clock train. And I’ll be back to-morrow, if I and my friend the clerk can settle it all in time. If not, by Wednesday at latest.”
“I’m leaving today,” said Allan, “on the eleven o’clock train. I’ll be back tomorrow if my friend the clerk and I can wrap everything up in time. If not, definitely by Wednesday at the latest.”
“You’ll write to me every day?” pleaded Neelie, clinging a little closer to him. “I shall sink under the suspense, if you don’t promise to write to me every day.”
“You’ll write to me every day?” Neelie asked, holding on to him a little tighter. “I’ll be overwhelmed by the suspense if you don’t promise to write to me every day.”
Allan promised to write twice a day, if she liked—letter-writing, which was such an effort to other men, was no effort to him!
Allan promised to write twice a day if she wanted—letter-writing, which was such a hassle for other guys, was no trouble for him!
“And mind, whatever those people may say to you in London,” proceeded Neelie, “I insist on your coming back for me. I positively decline to run away, unless you promise to fetch me.”
“And just remember, no matter what those people in London tell you,” Neelie continued, “I insist that you come back for me. I absolutely refuse to leave unless you promise to come get me.”
Allan promised for the second time, on his sacred word of honor, and at the full compass of his voice. But Neelie was not satisfied even yet. She reverted to first principles, and insisted on knowing whether Allan was quite sure he loved her. Allan called Heaven to witness how sure he was; and got another question directly for his pains. Could he solemnly declare that he would never regret taking Neelie away from home? Allan called Heaven to witness again, louder than ever. All to no purpose! The ravenous female appetite for tender protestations still hungered for more. “I know what will happen one of these days,” persisted Neelie. “You will see some other girl who is prettier than I am; and you will wish you had married her instead of me!”
Allan promised for the second time, on his sacred word of honor, and with all his heart. But Neelie was still not satisfied. She went back to basics and insisted on knowing if Allan was absolutely sure he loved her. Allan swore to Heaven how certain he was; and got another question in return. Could he seriously say that he would never regret taking Neelie away from home? Allan swore to Heaven again, even louder. All to no avail! The insatiable female need for sweet declarations still craved more. “I know what’s going to happen one of these days,” Neelie persisted. “You'll meet some other girl who’s prettier than me, and you’ll wish you had married her instead of me!”
As Allan opened his lips for a final outburst of asseveration, the stable clock at the great house was faintly audible in the distance striking the hour. Neelie started guiltily. It was breakfast-time at the cottage—in other words, time to take leave. At the last moment her heart went back to her father; and her head sank on Allan’s bosom as she tried to say, Good-by. “Papa has always been so kind to me, Allan,” she whispered, holding him back tremulously when he turned to leave her. “It seems so guilty and so heartless to go away from him and be married in secret. Oh, do, do think before you really go to London; is there no way of making him a little kinder and juster to you?” The question was useless; the major’s resolutely unfavorable reception of Allan’s letter rose in Neelie’s memory, and answered her as the words passed her lips. With a girl’s impulsiveness she pushed Allan away before he could speak, and signed to him impatiently to go. The conflict of contending emotions, which she had mastered thus far, burst its way outward in spite of her after he had waved his hand for the last time, and had disappeared in the depths of the dell. When she turned from the place, on her side, her long-restrained tears fell freely at last, and made the lonely way back to the cottage the dimmest prospect that Neelie had seen for many a long day past.
As Allan opened his mouth for one last declaration, the distant clock at the big house faintly chimed the hour. Neelie flinched, realizing it was breakfast time at the cottage—in other words, time to say goodbye. At the last moment, her thoughts turned to her father, and she leaned her head on Allan's chest as she tried to say, "Goodbye." “Papa has always been so kind to me, Allan,” she whispered, pulling him back nervously when he started to walk away. “It feels so wrong and heartless to leave him and get married in secret. Oh, please think before you really go to London; is there any way to make him a little kinder and fairer to you?” The question was pointless; the major’s consistently negative response to Allan’s letter came back to Neelie’s mind, answering her as the words left her lips. With the impulsiveness of a girl, she pushed Allan away before he could respond and waved at him impatiently to go. The clash of conflicting emotions, which she had held back up to this point, burst forth despite her after he waved goodbye for the last time and disappeared into the depths of the dell. When she turned away from that spot, her long-held tears finally fell freely, making the lonely walk back to the cottage seem like the saddest sight Neelie had seen in a very long time.
As she hurried homeward, the leaves parted behind her, and Miss Gwilt stepped softly into the open space. She stood there in triumph, tall, beautiful, and resolute. Her lovely color brightened while she watched Neelie’s retreating figure hastening lightly away from her over the grass.
As she rushed home, the leaves parted behind her, and Miss Gwilt stepped quietly into the clearing. She stood there in triumph, tall, beautiful, and determined. Her lovely complexion glowed as she watched Neelie’s fading figure moving swiftly away from her across the grass.
“Cry, you little fool!” she said, with her quiet, clear tones, and her steady smile of contempt. “Cry as you have never cried yet! You have seen the last of your sweetheart.”
“Cry, you little fool!” she said, her voice calm and clear, with a steady, contemptuous smile. “Cry like you’ve never cried before! You’ve seen the last of your sweetheart.”
XII. A SCANDAL AT THE STATION.
An hour later, the landlady at Miss Gwilt’s lodgings was lost in astonishment, and the clamorous tongues of the children were in a state of ungovernable revolt. “Unforeseen circumstances” had suddenly obliged the tenant of the first floor to terminate the occupation of her apartments, and to go to London that day by the eleven o’clock train.
An hour later, the landlady at Miss Gwilt’s place was completely shocked, and the noisy kids were in a chaotic uproar. “Unexpected events” had suddenly forced the tenant of the first floor to move out of her apartment and head to London that day on the eleven o’clock train.
“Please to have a fly at the door at half-past ten,” said Miss Gwilt, as the amazed landlady followed her upstairs. “And excuse me, you good creature, if I beg and pray not to be disturbed till the fly comes.” Once inside the room, she locked the door, and then opened her writing-desk. “Now for my letter to the major!” she said. “How shall I word it?”
“Please have a cab ready at the door at ten-thirty,” said Miss Gwilt, as the surprised landlady followed her upstairs. “And I hope you don't mind, but I’d really appreciate it if I could not be disturbed until the cab arrives.” Once inside the room, she locked the door and then opened her writing desk. “Now for my letter to the major!” she said. “How should I phrase it?”
A moment’s consideration apparently decided her. Searching through her collection of pens, she carefully selected the worst that could be found, and began the letter by writing the date of the day on a soiled sheet of note-paper, in crooked, clumsy characters, which ended in a blot made purposely with the feather of the pen. Pausing, sometimes to think a little, sometimes to make another blot, she completed the letter in these words:
A brief moment of thought seemed to settle it for her. Digging through her collection of pens, she picked out the worst one she could find and started the letter by writing today's date on a dirty piece of note paper, in messy, awkward letters, which ended with a blot she intentionally made with the pen's feather. She paused now and then to think for a moment, or to make another blot, and finished the letter with these words:
“HON’D SIR—It is on my conscience to tell you something, which I think you ought to know. You ought to know of the goings-on of Miss, your daughter, with young Mister Armadale. I wish you to make sure, and, what is more, I advise you to be quick about it, if she is going the way you want her to go, when she takes her morning walk before breakfast. I scorn to make mischief, where there is true love on both sides. But I don’t think the young man means truly by Miss. What I mean is, I think Miss only has his fancy. Another person, who shall be nameless betwixt us, has his true heart. Please to pardon my not putting my name; I am only a humble person, and it might get me into trouble. This is all at present, dear sir, from yours,
"HON' D SIR—I need to share something that’s weighing on my mind, and I think it’s important for you to know. You should be aware of what’s happening between your daughter and young Mr. Armadale. I urge you to check into it, and I recommend you do so quickly, especially if you want her to take a certain path during her morning walk before breakfast. I have no desire to cause trouble where there is genuine love, but I don’t believe the young man is sincere in his feelings for your daughter. What I mean is, I think she’s just caught his attention. There’s someone else, who shall remain unnamed between us, that holds his true affection. Please excuse my anonymity; I’m just an ordinary person and this could put me in a difficult position. That’s all for now, dear sir, from yours,"
“A WELL-WISHER.”
"A supporter."
“There!” said Miss Gwilt, as she folded the letter up. “If I had been a professed novelist, I could hardly have written more naturally in the character of a servant than that!” She wrote the necessary address to Major Milroy; looked admiringly for the last time at the coarse and clumsy writing which her own delicate hand had produced; and rose to post the letter herself, before she entered next on the serious business of packing up. “Curious!” she thought, when the letter had been posted, and she was back again making her traveling preparations in her own room; “here I am, running headlong into a frightful risk—and I never was in better spirits in my life!”
“There!” said Miss Gwilt, as she folded the letter. “If I were a real novelist, I couldn't have captured the voice of a servant more naturally than that!” She wrote the address for Major Milroy, admired one last time the rough, awkward handwriting that her own delicate hand had produced, and got up to mail the letter herself before she dove into the serious task of packing. “Interesting!” she thought, after posting the letter and returning to her travel preparations in her room. “Here I am, charging headfirst into a huge risk—and I’ve never felt better in my life!”
The boxes were ready when the fly was at the door, and Miss Gwilt was equipped (as becomingly as usual) in her neat traveling costume. The thick veil, which she was accustomed to wear in London, appeared on her country straw bonnet for the first time. “One meets such rude men occasionally in the railway,” she said to the landlady. “And though I dress quietly, my hair is so very remarkable.” She was a little paler than usual; but she had never been so sweet-tempered and engaging, so gracefully cordial and friendly, as now, when the moment of departure had come. The simple people of the house were quite moved at taking leave of her. She insisted on shaking hands with the landlord—on speaking to him in her prettiest way, and sunning him in her brightest smiles. “Come!” she said to the landlady, “you have been so kind, you have been so like a mother to me, you must give me a kiss at parting.” She embraced the children all together in a lump, with a mixture of humor and tenderness delightful to see, and left a shilling among them to buy a cake. “If I was only rich enough to make it a sovereign,” she whispered to the mother, “how glad I should be!” The awkward lad who ran on errands stood waiting at the fly door. He was clumsy, he was frowsy, he had a gaping mouth and a turn-up nose; but the ineradicable female delight in being charming accepted him, for all that, in the character of a last chance. “You dear, dingy John!” she said, kindly, at the carriage door. “I am so poor I have only sixpence to give you—with my very best wishes. Take my advice, John—grow to be a fine man, and find yourself a nice sweetheart! Thank you a thousand times!” She gave him a friendly little pat on the cheek with two of her gloved fingers, and smiled, and nodded, and got into the fly.
The carriages were ready when the cab arrived, and Miss Gwilt was dressed (as nicely as ever) in her neat travel outfit. The thick veil she usually wore in London was now draped over her country straw hat for the first time. “You occasionally encounter such rude men on the train,” she told the landlady. “And even though I dress modestly, my hair is really quite noticeable.” She looked a bit paler than usual, but she had never been so sweet-tempered and charming, so gracefully warm and friendly, as she was now, right at the moment of leaving. The simple folks of the house were genuinely touched as they said goodbye to her. She insisted on shaking hands with the landlord—speaking to him in her most charming way and showering him with her brightest smiles. “Come on!” she said to the landlady, “You’ve been so kind, like a mother to me; you have to give me a kiss before I go.” She hugged the children all together in a bundle, mixing humor and tenderness in a delightful display, and left a shilling among them to buy a cake. “If only I could afford to make it a pound,” she whispered to the mother, “I’d be so happy!” The awkward boy who ran errands stood waiting by the carriage door. He was clumsy and scruffy, with a wide mouth and a turn-up nose; but the undeniable female urge to be charming saw him as a final opportunity. “You dear, scruffy John!” she said kindly at the carriage door. “I’m so broke I can only give you sixpence—with my very best wishes. Take my advice, John—grow up to be a fine man, and find yourself a nice girlfriend! Thank you a thousand times!” She gave him a friendly little pat on the cheek with two of her gloved fingers, smiled, nodded, and got into the cab.
“Armadale next!” she said to herself as the carriage drove off.
“Armadale next!” she said to herself as the carriage pulled away.
Allan’s anxiety not to miss the train had brought him to the station in better time than usual. After taking his ticket and putting his portmanteau under the porter’s charge, he was pacing the platform and thinking of Neelie, when he heard the rustling of a lady’s dress behind him, and, turning round to look, found himself face to face with Miss Gwilt.
Allan's worry about missing the train had gotten him to the station earlier than usual. After he got his ticket and handed his suitcase to the porter, he was walking along the platform, thinking about Neelie, when he heard the rustling of a woman's dress behind him. Turning around to see who it was, he found himself face to face with Miss Gwilt.
There was no escaping her this time. The station wall was on his right hand, and the line was on his left; a tunnel was behind him, and Miss Gwilt was in front, inquiring in her sweetest tones whether Mr. Armadale was going to London.
There was no way to avoid her this time. The station wall was on his right, and the track was on his left; a tunnel was behind him, and Miss Gwilt was in front, asking in her sweetest voice whether Mr. Armadale was heading to London.
Allan colored scarlet with vexation and surprise. There he was obviously waiting for the train; and there was his portmanteau close by, with his name on it, already labeled for London! What answer but the true one could he make after that? Could he let the train go without him, and lose the precious hours so vitally important to Neelie and himself? Impossible! Allan helplessly confirmed the printed statement on his portmanteau, and heartily wished himself at the other end of the world as he said the words.
Allan turned bright red with anger and shock. There he was, clearly waiting for the train, and right next to him was his suitcase, labeled for London with his name on it! What could he say but the truth after that? Could he let the train leave without him and waste the precious hours that were so crucial for Neelie and himself? No way! Allan reluctantly accepted the printed label on his suitcase and sincerely wished he could be anywhere else in the world as he spoke those words.
“How very fortunate!” rejoined Miss Gwilt. “I am going to London too. Might I ask you Mr. Armadale (as you seem to be quite alone), to be my escort on the journey?”
“How lucky!” Miss Gwilt replied. “I’m going to London too. May I ask you, Mr. Armadale (since you seem to be all alone), to be my escort on the trip?”
Allan looked at the little assembly of travelers, and travelers’ friends, collected on the platform, near the booking-office door. They were all Thorpe Ambrose people. He was probably known by sight, and Miss Gwilt was probably known by sight, to every one of them. In sheer desperation, hesitating more awkwardly than ever, he produced his cigar case. “I should be delighted,” he said, with an embarrassment which was almost an insult under the circumstances. “But I—I’m what the people who get sick over a cigar call a slave to smoking.”
Allan looked at the small group of travelers and their friends gathered on the platform near the ticket office door. They were all from Thorpe Ambrose. He was probably recognized by sight, and Miss Gwilt was likely known by sight to all of them. In sheer desperation, hesitating more awkwardly than ever, he took out his cigar case. “I’d be happy to,” he said, with an embarrassment that almost felt insulting given the situation. “But I—I’m what people who get nauseous from cigars call a slave to smoking.”
“I delight in smoking!” said Miss Gwilt, with undiminished vivacity and good humor. “It’s one of the privileges of the men which I have always envied. I’m afraid, Mr. Armadale, you must think I am forcing myself on you. It certainly looks like it. The real truth is, I want particularly to say a word to you in private about Mr. Midwinter.”
“I love smoking!” said Miss Gwilt, with her usual energy and good humor. “It’s one of those privileges that men have that I’ve always envied. I’m afraid, Mr. Armadale, you might think I’m imposing on you. It certainly seems that way. The truth is, I really want to talk to you in private about Mr. Midwinter.”
The train came up at the same moment. Setting Midwinter out of the question, the common decencies of politeness left Allan no alternative but to submit. After having been the cause of her leaving her situation at Major Milroy’s, after having pointedly avoided her only a few days since on the high-road, to have declined going to London in the same carriage with Miss Gwilt would have been an act of downright brutality which it was simply impossible to commit. “Damn her!” said Allan, internally, as he handed his traveling companion into an empty carriage, officiously placed at his disposal, before all the people at the station, by the guard. “You shan’t be disturbed, sir,” the man whispered, confidentially, with a smile and a touch of his hat. Allan could have knocked him down with the utmost pleasure. “Stop!” he said, from the window. “I don’t want the carriage—” It was useless; the guard was out of hearing; the whistle blew, and the train started for London.
The train arrived at the same time. With Midwinter out of the question, the usual decency of politeness left Allan no choice but to go along. After having caused her to leave her job at Major Milroy’s, and having deliberately avoided her just a few days ago on the road, it would have been utterly cruel to refuse to travel to London in the same carriage as Miss Gwilt. “Damn her!” Allan thought to himself as he helped his traveling companion into an empty carriage, which the guard had conveniently arranged for him before everyone at the station. “You won’t be disturbed, sir,” the man whispered with a smile and a nod. Allan felt like knocking him out with immense satisfaction. “Wait!” he called from the window. “I don’t want the carriage—” It was pointless; the guard was out of earshot; the whistle blew, and the train headed for London.
The select assembly of travelers’ friends, left behind on the platform, congregated in a circle on the spot, with the station-master in the center.
The small group of friends who stayed behind on the platform gathered in a circle, with the station master in the middle.
The station-master—otherwise Mr. Mack—was a popular character in the neighborhood. He possessed two social qualifications which invariably impress the average English mind—he was an old soldier, and he was a man of few words. The conclave on the platform insisted on taking his opinion, before it committed itself positively to an opinion of its own. A brisk fire of remarks exploded, as a matter of course, on all sides; but everybody’s view of the subject ended interrogatively, in a question aimed pointblank at the station-master’s ears.
The station master—known as Mr. Mack—was a well-liked figure in the area. He had two social traits that always catch the average English person's attention—he was a former soldier, and he didn’t say much. The group on the platform always wanted his take before forming their own opinions. A lively exchange of comments happened all around; however, everyone’s perspective ended with a question directed straight at the station master.
“She’s got him, hasn’t she?” “She’ll come back ‘Mrs. Armadale,’ won’t she?” “He’d better have stuck to Miss Milroy, hadn’t he?” “Miss Milroy stuck to him. She paid him a visit at the great house, didn’t she?” “Nothing of the sort; it’s a shame to take the girl’s character away. She was caught in a thunder-storm close by; he was obliged to give her shelter; and she’s never been near the place since. Miss Gwilt’s been there, if you like, with no thunderstorm to force her in; and Miss Gwilt’s off with him to London in a carriage all to themselves, eh, Mr. Mack?” “Ah, he’s a soft one, that Armadale! with all his money, to take up with a red-haired woman, a good eight or nine years older than he is! She’s thirty if she’s a day. That’s what I say, Mr. Mack. What do you say?” “Older or younger, she’ll rule the roast at Thorpe Ambrose; and I say, for the sake of the place, and for the sake of trade, let’s make the best of it; and Mr. Mack, as a man of the world, sees it in the same light as I do, don’t you, sir?”
“She’s got him, hasn’t she?” “She’ll come back as ‘Mrs. Armadale,’ right?” “He should have stuck with Miss Milroy, shouldn’t he?” “Miss Milroy stuck with him. She visited him at the big house, didn’t she?” “Nothing like that; it’s unfair to ruin the girl’s reputation. She got caught in a thunderstorm nearby; he had to give her shelter, and she hasn’t been back since. Miss Gwilt’s been there, if you want to know, without any thunderstorm dragging her in; and Miss Gwilt’s off with him to London in a carriage all by themselves, huh, Mr. Mack?” “Ah, he’s a soft one, that Armadale! With all his money, he goes for a red-haired woman, a good eight or nine years older than him! She’s thirty if she’s a day. That’s what I think, Mr. Mack. What do you think?” “Older or younger, she’ll call the shots at Thorpe Ambrose; and I say, for the sake of the place and for business, let’s make the best of it; and Mr. Mack, as a worldly man, sees it the same way I do, don’t you, sir?”
“Gentlemen,” said the station-master, with his abrupt military accent, and his impenetrable military manner, “she’s a devilish fine woman. And when I was Mr. Armadale’s age, it’s my opinion, if her fancy had laid that way, she might have married Me.”
“Gentlemen,” said the station-master, with his sharp military tone and his unreadable military demeanor, “she’s a truly amazing woman. And when I was Mr. Armadale’s age, I believe that if she had been interested, she could have married me.”
With that expression of opinion the station-master wheeled to the right, and intrenched himself impregnably in the stronghold of his own office.
With that opinion, the station-master turned to the right and securely settled into the stronghold of his own office.
The citizens of Thorpe Ambrose looked at the closed door, and gravely shook their heads. Mr. Mack had disappointed them. No opinion which openly recognizes the frailty of human nature is ever a popular opinion with mankind. “It’s as good as saying that any of us might have married her if we had been Mr. Armadale’s age!” Such was the general impression on the minds of the conclave, when the meeting had been adjourned, and the members were leaving the station.
The citizens of Thorpe Ambrose stared at the closed door and shook their heads thoughtfully. Mr. Mack had let them down. No opinion that honestly acknowledges the weaknesses of human nature is ever popular with people. “It’s like saying that any of us could have married her if we had been Mr. Armadale’s age!” This was the general feeling among the group as the meeting wrapped up and everyone was heading out of the station.
The last of the party to go was a slow old gentleman, with a habit of deliberately looking about him. Pausing at the door, this observant person stared up the platform and down the platform, and discovered in the latter direction, standing behind an angle of the wall, an elderly man in black, who had escaped the notice of everybody up to that time. “Why, bless my soul!” said the old gentleman, advancing inquisitively by a step at a time, “it can’t be Mr. Bashwood!”
The last one to leave the party was a slow, older man who had a tendency to look around deliberately. Pausing at the door, this observant man glanced up and down the platform, and noticed in the latter direction, hidden behind a corner of the wall, an elderly man in black who had gone unnoticed by everyone until that moment. “Well, I’ll be!” exclaimed the old man, taking cautious steps forward, “it can’t be Mr. Bashwood!”
It was Mr. Bashwood—Mr. Bashwood, whose constitutional curiosity had taken him privately to the station, bent on solving the mystery of Allan’s sudden journey to London—Mr. Bashwood, who had seen and heard, behind his angle in the wall, what everybody else had seen and heard, and who appeared to have been impressed by it in no ordinary way. He stood stiffly against the wall, like a man petrified, with one hand pressed on his bare head, and the other holding his hat—he stood, with a dull flush on his face, and a dull stare in his eyes, looking straight into the black depths of the tunnel outside the station, as if the train to London had disappeared in it but the moment before.
It was Mr. Bashwood—Mr. Bashwood, whose natural curiosity had led him to the station, determined to figure out the mystery of Allan’s sudden trip to London—Mr. Bashwood, who had seen and heard, from his spot in the wall, what everyone else had seen and heard, and who seemed to be deeply affected by it. He stood rigidly against the wall, like a statue, with one hand pressed against his bare head and the other holding his hat—he stood there, a dull flush on his face and a vacant look in his eyes, staring straight into the dark depths of the tunnel outside the station, as if the train to London had just vanished into it moments before.
“Is your head bad?” asked the old gentleman. “Take my advice. Go home and lie down.”
“Is your head hurting?” asked the old gentleman. “Take my advice. Go home and lie down.”
Mr. Bashwood listened mechanically, with his usual attention, and answered mechanically, with his usual politeness.
Mr. Bashwood listened mindlessly, with his usual focus, and responded mindlessly, with his usual politeness.
“Yes, sir,” he said, in a low, lost tone, like a man between dreaming and waking; “I’ll go home and lie down.”
“Yes, sir,” he said, in a quiet, distant tone, like someone caught between dreaming and waking; “I’ll go home and rest.”
“That’s right,” rejoined the old gentleman, making for the door. “And take a pill, Mr. Bashwood—take a pill.”
"That's right," replied the old man as he headed for the door. "And take a pill, Mr. Bashwood—take a pill."
Five minutes later, the porter charged with the business of locking up the station found Mr. Bashwood, still standing bare-headed against the wall, and still looking straight into the black depths of the tunnel, as if the train to London had disappeared in it but a moment since.
Five minutes later, the porter in charge of locking up the station found Mr. Bashwood still standing bare-headed against the wall, staring straight into the dark depths of the tunnel, as if the train to London had just disappeared into it moments ago.
“Come, sir!” said the porter; “I must lock up. Are you out of sorts? Anything wrong with your inside? Try a drop of gin-and-bitters.”
“Come on, sir!” said the porter; “I need to lock up. Are you feeling unwell? Is something wrong with your stomach? How about a bit of gin-and-bitters?”
“Yes,” said Mr. Bashwood, answering the porter, exactly as he had answered the old gentleman; “I’ll try a drop of gin-and-bitters.”
“Yes,” Mr. Bashwood replied to the porter, just like he had answered the old gentleman; “I’ll have a gin and bitters.”
The porter took him by the arm, and led him out. “You’ll get it there,” said the man, pointing confidentially to a public-house; “and you’ll get it good.”
The porter took him by the arm and led him outside. “You'll find it there,” said the man, pointing discreetly to a bar; “and it'll be great.”
“I shall get it there,” echoed Mr. Bashwood, still mechanically repeating what was said to him; “and I shall get it good.”
“I'll get it there,” Mr. Bashwood echoed, still mindlessly repeating what was said to him; “and I’ll make sure it’s good.”
His will seemed to be paralyzed; his actions depended absolutely on what other people told him to do. He took a few steps in the direction of the public-house, hesitated, staggered, and caught at the pillar of one of the station lamps near him.
His will seemed to be frozen; his actions completely relied on what others told him to do. He took a few steps toward the pub, hesitated, wobbled, and grabbed onto the post of a nearby station lamp.
The porter followed, and took him by the arm once more.
The porter followed and grabbed his arm again.
“Why, you’ve been drinking already!” exclaimed the man, with a suddenly quickened interest in Mr. Bashwood’s case. “What was it? Beer?”
“Wow, you’ve already been drinking!” the man exclaimed, suddenly really interested in Mr. Bashwood’s situation. “What did you have? Beer?”
Mr. Bashwood, in his low, lost tones, echoed the last word.
Mr. Bashwood, in his quiet, despondent voice, repeated the last word.
It was close on the porter’s dinner-time. But, when the lower orders of the English people believe they have discovered an intoxicated man, their sympathy with him is boundless. The porter let his dinner take its chance, and carefully assisted Mr. Bashwood to reach the public-house. “Gin-and-bitters will put you on your legs again,” whispered this Samaritan setter-right of the alcoholic disasters of mankind.
It was almost the porter’s dinner time. But when the lower classes of English society think they’ve found a drunk person, their compassion for him knows no limits. The porter decided to skip his dinner and carefully helped Mr. Bashwood get to the pub. “A gin and bitters will help you feel better,” whispered this kind-hearted fixer of the drinking woes of humanity.
If Mr. Bashwood had really been intoxicated, the effect of the porter’s remedy would have been marvelous indeed. Almost as soon as the glass was emptied, the stimulant did its work. The long-weakened nervous system of the deputy-steward, prostrated for the moment by the shock that had fallen on it, rallied again like a weary horse under the spur. The dull flush on his cheeks, the dull stare in his eyes, disappeared simultaneously. After a momentary effort, he recovered memory enough of what had passed to thank the porter, and to ask whether he would take something himself. The worthy creature instantly accepted a dose of his own remedy—in the capacity of a preventive—and went home to dinner as only those men can go home who are physically warmed by gin-and-bitters and morally elevated by the performance of a good action.
If Mr. Bashwood had really been drunk, the effect of the porter’s remedy would have been remarkable. Almost right after he finished the drink, the stimulant kicked in. The long-weakened nervous system of the deputy-steward, momentarily knocked out by the shock, rallied like a tired horse getting spurred on. The dull flush on his cheeks and the vacant look in his eyes disappeared at the same time. After a brief effort, he regained enough memory of what had happened to thank the porter and ask if he wanted something for himself. The kind man immediately accepted a dose of his own remedy—as a preventive—and went home to dinner like only those men can, physically warmed by gin and bitters and morally uplifted by doing a good deed.
Still strangely abstracted (but conscious now of the way by which he went), Mr. Bashwood left the public-house a few minutes later, in his turn. He walked on mechanically, in his dreary black garments, moving like a blot on the white surface of the sun-brightened road, as Midwinter had seen him move in the early days at Thorpe Ambrose, when they had first met. Arrived at the point where he had to choose between the way that led into the town and the way that led to the great house, he stopped, incapable of deciding, and careless, apparently, even of making the attempt. “I’ll be revenged on her!” he whispered to himself, still absorbed in his jealous frenzy of rage against the woman who had deceived him. “I’ll be revenged on her,” he repeated, in louder tones, “if I spend every half-penny I’ve got!”
Still oddly distracted (but now aware of the path he took), Mr. Bashwood left the pub a few minutes later, in his turn. He walked on mechanically, dressed in his dreary black clothes, moving like a stain on the bright, sunlit road, just as Midwinter had seen him move in the early days at Thorpe Ambrose when they first met. When he reached the point where he had to choose between the road leading into town and the one leading to the big house, he stopped, unable to decide and seemingly indifferent even to making an effort. “I’ll get my revenge on her!” he whispered to himself, still caught up in his jealous rage against the woman who had betrayed him. “I’ll get my revenge on her,” he repeated, now louder, “even if it costs me every last penny I have!”
Some women of the disorderly sort, passing on their way to the town, heard him. “Ah, you old brute,” they called out, with the measureless license of their class, “whatever she did, she served you right!”
Some unruly women, walking into town, heard him. “Hey, you old jerk,” they shouted, with the endless audacity of their kind, “no matter what she did, she got what you deserved!”
The coarseness of the voices startled him, whether he comprehended the words or not. He shrank away from more interruption and more insult, into the quieter road that led to the great house.
The roughness of the voices surprised him, whether he understood the words or not. He recoiled from further disruption and more insults, moving towards the quieter path that led to the big house.
At a solitary place by the wayside he stopped and sat down. He took off his hat and lifted his youthful wig a little from his bald old head, and tried desperately to get beyond the one immovable conviction which lay on his mind like lead—the conviction that Miss Gwilt had been purposely deceiving him from the first. It was useless. No effort would free him from that one dominant impression, and from the one answering idea that it had evoked—the idea of revenge. He got up again, and put on his hat and walked rapidly forward a little way—then turned without knowing why, and slowly walked back again “If I had only dressed a little smarter!” said the poor wretch, helplessly. “If I had only been a little bolder with her, she might have overlooked my being an old man!” The angry fit returned on him. He clinched his clammy, trembling hands, and shook them fiercely in the empty air. “I’ll be revenged on her,” he reiterated. “I’ll be revenged on her, if I spend every half-penny I’ve got!” It was terribly suggestive of the hold she had taken on him, that his vindictive sense of injury could not get far enough away from her to reach the man whom he believed to be his rival, even yet. In his rage, as in his love, he was absorbed, body and soul, by Miss Gwilt.
At a lonely spot by the road, he stopped and sat down. He took off his hat and lifted his youthful wig slightly from his bald old head, desperately trying to shake off the heavy conviction that Miss Gwilt had been intentionally deceiving him from the start. It was pointless. No effort could free him from that overwhelming belief, and from the one corresponding thought it triggered—the thought of revenge. He got up again, put on his hat, and walked quickly for a bit—then turned around without knowing why, and slowly walked back again. “If only I had dressed a bit smarter!” he said helplessly. “If only I had been a little bolder with her, she might have overlooked my age!” His anger returned. He clenched his clammy, trembling hands and shook them fiercely in the empty air. “I’ll get revenge on her,” he repeated. “I’ll get revenge on her, even if I spend every penny I have!” It was chilling how much hold she had on him, that his sense of grievance couldn't distance itself from her enough to confront the man he believed was his rival, even now. In his rage, as in his love, he was completely consumed, body and soul, by Miss Gwilt.
In a moment more, the noise of running wheels approaching from behind startled him. He turned and looked round. There was Mr. Pedgift the elder, rapidly overtaking him in the gig, just as Mr. Pedgift had overtaken him once already, on that former occasion when he had listened under the window at the great house, and when the lawyer had bluntly charged him with feeling a curiosity about Miss Gwilt!
In a moment, the sound of approaching wheels from behind startled him. He turned and looked around. Mr. Pedgift the elder was quickly catching up to him in the gig, just like Mr. Pedgift had done before, that time when he had listened under the window at the big house, and when the lawyer had directly accused him of being curious about Miss Gwilt!
In an instant the inevitable association of ideas burst on his mind. The opinion of Miss Gwilt, which he had heard the lawyer express to Allan at parting, flashed back into his memory, side by side with Mr. Pedgift’s sarcastic approval of anything in the way of inquiry which his own curiosity might attempt. “I may be even with her yet,” he thought, “if Mr. Pedgift will help me!—Stop, sir!” he called out, desperately, as the gig came up with him. “If you please, sir, I want to speak to you.”
In an instant, the inevitable connection of ideas hit him. He recalled Miss Gwilt's opinion that he had heard the lawyer share with Allan before parting, which blended with Mr. Pedgift's sarcastic approval of any investigation his own curiosity might undertake. “I might just have my chance,” he thought, “if Mr. Pedgift is willing to assist me!—Wait, sir!” he shouted, urgently, as the gig approached him. “Excuse me, sir, I need to talk to you.”
Pedgift Senior slackened the pace of his fast-trotting mare, without pulling up. “Come to the office in half an hour,” he said; “I’m busy now.” Without waiting for an answer, without noticing Mr. Bashwood’s bow, he gave the mare the rein again, and was out of sight in another minute.
Pedgift Senior slowed down his fast-trotting mare without stopping. “Come to the office in half an hour,” he said; “I’m busy right now.” Without waiting for a reply and without acknowledging Mr. Bashwood’s bow, he took the reins again and was out of sight in another minute.
Mr. Bashwood sat down once more in a shady place by the roadside. He appeared to be incapable of feeling any slight but the one unpardonable slight put upon him by Miss Gwilt. He not only declined to resent, he even made the best of Mr. Pedgift’s unceremonious treatment of him. “Half an hour,” he said, resignedly. “Time enough to compose myself; and I want time. Very kind of Mr. Pedgift, though he mightn’t have meant it.”
Mr. Bashwood sat down again in a shady spot by the road. He seemed unable to feel any offense except for the one unforgivable slight from Miss Gwilt. Not only did he refuse to take offense, he even tried to make the best of Mr. Pedgift’s rude treatment of him. “Half an hour,” he said, with acceptance. “That's enough time to gather myself; and I need that time. Very generous of Mr. Pedgift, even if he didn’t intend it.”
The sense of oppression in his head forced him once again to remove his hat. He sat with it on his lap, deep in thought; his face bent low, and the wavering fingers of one hand drumming absently on the crown of the hat. If Mr. Pedgift the elder, seeing him as he sat now, could only have looked a little way into the future, the monotonously drumming hand of the deputy-steward might have been strong enough, feeble as it was, to stop the lawyer by the roadside. It was the worn, weary, miserable old hand of a worn, weary, miserable old man; but it was, for all that (to use the language of Mr. Pedgift’s own parting prediction to Allan), the hand that was now destined to “let the light in on Miss Gwilt.”
The weight of oppression in his head made him take off his hat again. He sat with it in his lap, lost in thought; his head bowed low, and the unsteady fingers of one hand absently drumming on the top of the hat. If Mr. Pedgift the elder could have caught a glimpse of the future while seeing him like this, the rhythmically drumming hand of the deputy-steward, weak as it was, might have been enough to stop the lawyer by the roadside. It was the worn, tired, miserable old hand of a beaten-down old man; but even so (to use Mr. Pedgift’s own parting prediction to Allan), it was the hand that was now meant to “let the light in on Miss Gwilt.”
XIII. AN OLD MAN’S HEART.
Punctual to the moment, when the half hour’s interval had expired, Mr. Bashwood was announced at the office as waiting to see Mr. Pedgift by special appointment.
On time, as soon as the half hour was up, Mr. Bashwood was announced at the office, saying he was there to see Mr. Pedgift by special appointment.
The lawyer looked up from his papers with an air of annoyance: he had totally forgotten the meeting by the roadside. “See what he wants,” said Pedgift Senior to Pedgift Junior, working in the same room with him. “And if it’s nothing of importance, put it off to some other time.”
The lawyer glanced up from his papers, clearly irritated; he had completely forgotten about the meeting by the roadside. “Find out what he wants,” said Pedgift Senior to Pedgift Junior, who was in the same room with him. “And if it’s nothing important, reschedule it for another time.”
Pedgift Junior swiftly disappeared and swiftly returned.
Pedgift Junior quickly vanished and quickly reappeared.
“Well?” asked the father.
"Well?" the father asked.
“Well,” answered the son, “he is rather more shaky and unintelligible than usual. I can make nothing out of him, except that he persists in wanting to see you. My own idea,” pursued Pedgift Junior, with his usual, sardonic gravity, “is that he is going to have a fit, and that he wishes to acknowledge your uniform kindness to him by obliging you with a private view of the whole proceeding.”
“Well,” replied the son, “he seems even more shaky and hard to understand than usual. I can’t make sense of him, except that he keeps insisting on seeing you. My own theory,” Pedgift Junior continued, with his usual sarcastic seriousness, “is that he’s about to have a fit, and he wants to show his appreciation for your constant kindness by giving you a front-row seat to the whole thing.”
Pedgift Senior habitually matched everybody—his son included—with their own weapons. “Be good enough to remember, Augustus,” he rejoined, “that my Room is not a Court of Law. A bad joke is not invariably followed by ‘roars of laughter’ here. Let Mr. Bashwood come in.”
Pedgift Senior regularly matched everyone—even his son—with their own weapons. “Please remember, Augustus,” he replied, “that my Room is not a Court of Law. A bad joke doesn't always get ‘roars of laughter’ here. Let Mr. Bashwood come in.”
Mr. Bashwood was introduced, and Pedgift Junior withdrew. “You mustn’t bleed him, sir,” whispered the incorrigible joker, as he passed the back of his father’s chair. “Hot-water bottles to the soles of his feet, and a mustard plaster on the pit of his stomach—that’s the modern treatment.”
Mr. Bashwood was introduced, and Pedgift Junior stepped back. “You can’t drain him, sir,” whispered the relentless joker as he walked past the back of his father’s chair. “Hot-water bottles on his feet and a mustard plaster on his stomach—that’s the way to do it now.”
“Sit down, Bashwood,” said Pedgift Senior when they were alone. “And don’t forget that time’s money. Out with it, whatever it is, at the quickest possible rate, and in the fewest possible words.”
“Sit down, Bashwood,” said Pedgift Senior when they were alone. “And remember, time is money. Just get to the point, whatever it is, as quickly as you can and in as few words as possible.”
These preliminary directions, bluntly but not at all unkindly spoken, rather increased than diminished the painful agitation under which Mr. Bashwood was suffering. He stammered more helplessly, he trembled more continuously than usual, as he made his little speech of thanks, and added his apologies at the end for intruding on his patron in business hours.
These initial instructions, stated frankly but not unkindly, only heightened the distress that Mr. Bashwood was feeling. He stuttered more helplessly and trembled more uncontrollably than usual as he delivered his brief expression of gratitude, adding his apologies at the end for bothering his patron during work hours.
“Everybody in the place, Mr. Pedgift, sir, knows your time is valuable. Oh, dear, yes! oh, dear, yes! most valuable, most valuable! Excuse me, sir, I’m coming out with it. Your goodness—or rather your business—no, your goodness gave me half an hour to wait—and I have thought of what I had to say, and prepared it, and put it short.” Having got as far as that, he stopped with a pained, bewildered look. He had put it away in his memory, and now, when the time came, he was too confused to find it. And there was Mr. Pedgift mutely waiting; his face and manner expressive alike of that silent sense of the value of his own time which every patient who has visited a great doctor, every client who has consulted a lawyer in large practice, knows so well. “Have you heard the news, sir?” stammered Mr. Bashwood, shifting his ground in despair, and letting the uppermost idea in his mind escape him, simply because it was the one idea in him that was ready to come out.
“Everyone here knows your time is valuable, Mr. Pedgift, sir. Oh, yes! absolutely, absolutely! Excuse me, sir, I’m getting to the point. Your kindness—or rather your business—no, your kindness gave me half an hour to wait—and I’ve thought about what I wanted to say, prepared it, and kept it brief.” Having gotten that far, he paused with a pained, confused expression. He had memorized it, and now, when it was time, he was too mixed up to recall it. And there was Mr. Pedgift silently waiting; his face and demeanor reflected that unspoken understanding of the value of his own time, something every patient who has visited a top doctor or every client who has consulted a busy lawyer knows all too well. “Have you heard the news, sir?” stammered Mr. Bashwood, changing his approach in desperation and letting the most pressing thought on his mind slip out, simply because it was the only idea that felt ready to be expressed.
“Does it concern me?” asked Pedgift Senior, mercilessly brief, and mercilessly straight in coming to the point.
“Does it concern me?” asked Pedgift Senior, blunt and straight to the point.
“It concerns a lady, sir—no, not a lady—a young man, I ought to say, in whom you used to feel some interest. Oh, Mr. Pedgift, sir, what do you think! Mr. Armadale and Miss Gwilt have gone up to London together to-day—alone, sir—alone in a carriage reserved for their two selves. Do you think he’s going to marry her? Do you really think, like the rest of them, he’s going to marry her?”
“It’s about a lady, sir—no, not a lady—a young man, I should say, who you used to care about. Oh, Mr. Pedgift, sir, guess what! Mr. Armadale and Miss Gwilt have gone up to London together today—just the two of them, sir—alone in a carriage just for the two of them. Do you think he’s going to marry her? Do you really think, like everyone else, that he’s going to marry her?”
He put the question with a sudden flush in his face and a sudden energy in his manner. His sense of the value of the lawyer’s time, his conviction of the greatness of the lawyer’s condescension, his constitutional shyness and timidity—all yielded together to his one overwhelming interest in hearing Mr. Pedgift’s answer. He was loud for the first time in his life in putting the question.
He asked the question with a sudden flush on his face and a burst of energy in his manner. His awareness of the lawyer’s time being valuable, his belief in the significance of the lawyer’s condescension, and his natural shyness and nervousness—all gave way to his intense curiosity about Mr. Pedgift’s answer. For the first time in his life, he raised his voice to ask the question.
“After my experience of Mr. Armadale,” said the lawyer, instantly hardening in look and manner, “I believe him to be infatuated enough to marry Miss Gwilt a dozen times over, if Miss Gwilt chose to ask him. Your news doesn’t surprise me in the least, Bashwood. I’m sorry for him. I can honestly say that, though he has set my advice at defiance. And I’m more sorry still,” he continued, softening again as his mind reverted to his interview with Neelie under the trees of the park—“I’m more sorry still for another person who shall be nameless. But what have I to do with all this? And what on earth is the matter with you?” he resumed, noticing for the first time the abject misery in Mr. Bashwood’s manner, the blank despair in Mr. Bashwood’s face, which his answer had produced. “Are you ill? Is there something behind the curtain that you’re afraid to bring out? I don’t understand it. Have you come here—here in my private room, in business hours—with nothing to tell me but that young Armadale has been fool enough to ruin his prospects for life? Why, I foresaw it all weeks since, and what is more, I as good as told him so at the last conversation I had with him in the great house.”
“After my experience with Mr. Armadale,” the lawyer said, immediately toughening his expression and demeanor, “I believe he’s reckless enough to marry Miss Gwilt a dozen times if she asked him to. Your news doesn’t surprise me at all, Bashwood. I feel for him, I really do, even though he has ignored my advice. And I feel even worse,” he continued, his tone softening as he recalled his meeting with Neelie under the park trees—“I feel even worse for another person who shall remain nameless. But what does this have to do with me? And what on earth is wrong with you?” he added, noticing for the first time the deep misery in Mr. Bashwood’s demeanor and the blank despair on his face that his words had caused. “Are you sick? Is there something you’re scared to reveal? I don’t get it. Did you come here—in my private office, during business hours—with nothing to tell me except that young Armadale has been foolish enough to ruin his future? I saw all of this coming weeks ago, and what’s more, I practically warned him during our last conversation at the big house.”
At those last words, Mr. Bashwood suddenly rallied. The lawyer’s passing reference to the great house had led him back in a moment to the purpose that he had in view.
At those last words, Mr. Bashwood suddenly perked up. The lawyer’s casual mention of the big house brought him right back to what he was focused on.
“That’s it, sir!” he said, eagerly; “that’s what I wanted to speak to you about; that’s what I’ve been preparing in my mind. Mr. Pedgift, sir, the last time you were at the great house, when you came away in your gig, you—you overtook me on the drive.”
“That's it, sir!” he said excitedly; “that's what I wanted to talk to you about; that's what I've been thinking about. Mr. Pedgift, sir, the last time you were at the big house, when you left in your carriage, you—you passed me on the driveway.”
“I dare say I did,” remarked Pedgift, resignedly. “My mare happens to be a trifle quicker on her legs than you are on yours, Bashwood. Go on, go on. We shall come in time, I suppose, to what you are driving at.”
“I guess I did,” Pedgift said with a sigh. “My mare is a bit faster on her legs than you are on yours, Bashwood. Go ahead, go ahead. I suppose we’ll get to the point you’re trying to make eventually.”
“You stopped, and spoke to me, sir,” proceeded Mr. Bashwood, advancing more and more eagerly to his end. “You said you suspected me of feeling some curiosity about Miss Gwilt, and you told me (I remember the exact words, sir)—you told me to gratify my curiosity by all means, for you didn’t object to it.”
“You stopped and talked to me, sir,” Mr. Bashwood continued, getting more and more eager to reach his point. “You said you thought I was curious about Miss Gwilt, and you told me (I remember your exact words, sir)—you told me to satisfy my curiosity by all means, because you didn’t mind it.”
Pedgift Senior began for the first time to look interested in hearing more.
Pedgift Senior started to actually look interested in hearing more.
“I remember something of the sort,” he replied; “and I also remember thinking it rather remarkable that you should happen—we won’t put it in any more offensive way—to be exactly under Mr. Armadale’s open window while I was talking to him. It might have been accident, of course; but it looked rather more like curiosity. I could only judge by appearances,” concluded Pedgift, pointing his sarcasm with a pinch of snuff; “and appearances, Bashwood, were decidedly against you.”
“I remember something like that,” he replied; “and I also thought it was quite remarkable that you should happen—let’s not put it more harshly—to be right under Mr. Armadale’s open window while I was talking to him. It could have been an accident, of course; but it seemed more like curiosity. I can only judge by what I see,” concluded Pedgift, accentuating his sarcasm with a pinch of snuff; “and the look of things, Bashwood, was definitely not in your favor.”
“I don’t deny it, sir. I only mentioned the circumstance because I wished to acknowledge that I was curious, and am curious about Miss Gwilt.”
“I won’t deny it, sir. I only brought it up because I wanted to say that I was curious, and am curious about Miss Gwilt.”
“Why?” asked Pedgift Senior, seeing something under the surface in Mr. Bashwood’s face and manner, but utterly in the dark thus far as to what that something might be.
“Why?” asked Pedgift Senior, noticing something beneath the surface of Mr. Bashwood’s expression and behavior, but completely clueless so far about what that something could be.
There was silence for a moment. The moment passed, Mr. Bashwood took the refuge usually taken by nervous, unready men, placed in his circumstances, when they are at a loss for an answer. He simply reiterated the assertion that he had just made. “I feel some curiosity sir,” he said, with a strange mixture of doggedness and timidity, “about Miss Gwilt.”
There was silence for a moment. When the moment passed, Mr. Bashwood took the usual route that nervous, unprepared men do in his situation when they don't have a response. He just repeated what he had just said. “I'm a bit curious, sir,” he said, with an odd mix of determination and nervousness, “about Miss Gwilt.”
There was another moment of silence. In spite of his practiced acuteness and knowledge of the world, the lawyer was more puzzled than ever. The case of Mr. Bashwood presented the one human riddle of all others which he was least qualified to solve. Though year after year witnesses in thousands and thousands of cases, the remorseless disinheriting of nearest and dearest relations, the unnatural breaking-up of sacred family ties, the deplorable severance of old and firm friendships, due entirely to the intense self-absorption which the sexual passion can produce when it enters the heart of an old man, the association of love with infirmity and gray hairs arouses, nevertheless, all the world over, no other idea than the idea of extravagant improbability or extravagant absurdity in the general mind. If the interview now taking place in Mr. Pedgift’s consulting-room had taken place at his dinner-table instead, when wine had opened his mind to humorous influences, it is possible that he might, by this time, have suspected the truth. But, in his business hours, Pedgift Senior was in the habit of investigating men’s motives seriously from the business point of view; and he was on that very account simply incapable of conceiving any improbability so startling, any absurdity so enormous, as the absurdity and improbability of Mr. Bashwood’s being in love.
There was another moment of silence. Despite his keen insight and worldly knowledge, the lawyer was more confused than ever. Mr. Bashwood's case was the one human puzzle he felt least equipped to solve. Even after years of hearing testimonies in countless cases—witnessing the unforgiving disinheritance of close family members, the unnatural breaking of sacred family bonds, and the heartbreaking end of long-standing friendships—all due to the intense self-absorption that sexual desire can create when it affects an older man, the idea of love associated with aging and gray hair still evokes no notion other than sheer improbability or outright absurdity in people's minds everywhere. If the conversation currently happening in Mr. Pedgift’s consulting room had taken place at his dinner table instead, where wine could have loosened his mind to more humorous thoughts, he might have suspected the truth by now. However, during work hours, Pedgift Senior was used to seriously analyzing people's motives from a business perspective; for that reason, he found it impossible to entertain any notion so shocking or any absurdity so vast as the idea of Mr. Bashwood being in love.
Some men in the lawyer’s position would have tried to force their way to enlightenment by obstinately repeating the unanswered question. Pedgift Senior wisely postponed the question until he had moved the conversation on another step. “Well,” he resumed, “let us say you feel a curiosity about Miss Gwilt. What next?”
Some guys in the lawyer's position would have tried to stubbornly push for answers by endlessly asking the same unanswered question. Pedgift Senior wisely decided to hold off on the question until he had steered the conversation a bit further. “Well,” he continued, “let's say you're curious about Miss Gwilt. What's next?”
The palms of Mr. Bashwood’s hands began to moisten under the influence of his agitation, as they had moistened in the past days when he had told the story of his domestic sorrows to Midwinter at the great house. Once more he rolled his handkerchief into a ball, and dabbed it softly to and fro from one hand to the other.
The palms of Mr. Bashwood's hands started to sweat because of his anxiety, just like they had in the past when he shared his personal struggles with Midwinter at the big house. Again, he rolled his handkerchief into a ball and gently dabbed it back and forth between his hands.
“May I ask if I am right, sir,” he began, “in believing that you have a very unfavorable opinion of Miss Gwilt? You are quite convinced, I think—”
“Can I ask if I’m right, sir,” he started, “in thinking that you have a very negative view of Miss Gwilt? You’re pretty convinced, I believe—”
“My good fellow,” interrupted Pedgift Senior, “why need you be in any doubt about it? You were under Mr. Armadale’s open window all the while I was talking to him; and your ears, I presume, were not absolutely shut.”
“My good man,” interrupted Pedgift Senior, “why would you doubt it? You were right under Mr. Armadale’s open window the whole time I was talking to him; and I assume your ears weren’t completely shut.”
Mr. Bashwood showed no sense of the interruption. The little sting of the lawyer’s sarcasm was lost in the nobler pain that wrung him from the wound inflicted by Miss Gwilt.
Mr. Bashwood didn’t seem to notice the interruption. The slight jab of the lawyer’s sarcasm was overshadowed by the deeper pain he felt from the hurt caused by Miss Gwilt.
“You are quite convinced, I think, sir,” he resumed, “that there are circumstances in this lady’s past life which would be highly discreditable to her if they were discovered at the present time?”
“You're pretty convinced, I think, sir,” he continued, “that there are things in this lady's past that would seriously tarnish her reputation if they were found out now?”
“The window was open at the great house, Bashwood; and your ears, I presume, were not absolutely shut.”
“The window was open at the big house, Bashwood; and I assume your ears weren’t completely closed off.”
Still impenetrable to the sting, Mr. Bashwood persisted more obstinately than ever.
Still unaffected by the sting, Mr. Bashwood persisted more stubbornly than ever.
“Unless I am greatly mistaken,” he said, “your long experience in such things has even suggested to you, sir, that Miss Gwilt might turn out to be known to the police?”
"Unless I'm very wrong," he said, "your extensive experience in these matters has probably led you to consider, sir, that Miss Gwilt might be known to the police?"
Pedgift Senior’s patience gave way. “You have been over ten minutes in this room,” he broke out. “Can you, or can you not, tell me in plain English what you want?”
Pedgift Senior's patience ran out. “You’ve been in this room for over ten minutes,” he exclaimed. “Can you or can’t you tell me in simple English what you want?”
In plain English—with the passion that had transformed him, the passion which (in Miss Gwilt’s own words) had made a man of him, burning in his haggard cheeks—Mr. Bashwood met the challenge, and faced the lawyer (as, the worried sheep faces the dog) on his own ground.
In straightforward language—with the passion that had changed him, the passion which (in Miss Gwilt’s own words) had turned him into a man, glowing in his worn cheeks—Mr. Bashwood took on the challenge and confronted the lawyer (like a worried sheep facing the dog) on his own turf.
“I wish to say, sir,” he answered, “that your opinion in this matter is my opinion too. I believe there is something wrong in Miss Gwilt’s past life which she keeps concealed from everybody, and I want to be the man who knows it.”
“I want to say, sir,” he replied, “that I share your opinion on this matter. I believe there’s something off in Miss Gwilt’s past that she’s hiding from everyone, and I want to be the one who knows it.”
Pedgift Senior saw his chance, and instantly reverted to the question that he had postponed. “Why?” he asked for the second time.
Pedgift Senior saw his opportunity and immediately returned to the question he had put off. “Why?” he asked for the second time.
For the second time Mr. Bashwood hesitated.
For the second time, Mr. Bashwood paused.
Could he acknowledge that he had been mad enough to love her, and mean enough to be a spy for her? Could he say, She has deceived me from the first, and she has deserted me, now her object is served. After robbing me of my happiness, robbing me of my honor, robbing me of my last hope left in life, she has gone from me forever, and left me nothing but my old man’s longing, slow and sly, and strong and changeless, for revenge. Revenge that I may have, if I can poison her success by dragging her frailties into the public view. Revenge that I will buy (for what is gold or what is life to me?) with the last farthing of my hoarded money and the last drop of my stagnant blood. Could he say that to the man who sat waiting for his answer? No; he could only crush it down and be silent.
Could he admit that he had been crazy enough to love her and low enough to be her spy? Could he say, "She has tricked me from the beginning, and now that she got what she wanted, she’s abandoned me"? After taking away my happiness, my honor, and my last hope in life, she has left me for good, leaving me only with my old man’s deep, sly, and unchanging longing for revenge. Revenge that I could have if I could ruin her success by exposing her weaknesses to the public. Revenge that I would pay for (since what is money or life to me?) with the last penny of my savings and the last drop of my stagnant blood. Could he say that to the man who waited for his response? No; he could only push it down and stay quiet.
The lawyer’s expression began to harden once more.
The lawyer's expression started to stiffen again.
“One of us must speak out,” he said; “and as you evidently won’t, I will. I can only account for this extraordinary anxiety of yours to make yourself acquainted with Miss Gwilt’s secrets, in one of two ways. Your motive is either an excessively mean one (no offense, Bashwood, I am only putting the case), or an excessively generous one. After my experience of your honest character and your creditable conduct, it is only your due that I should absolve you at once of the mean motive. I believe you are as incapable as I am—I can say no more—of turning to mercenary account any discoveries you might make to Miss Gwilt’s prejudice in Miss Gwilt’s past life. Shall I go on any further? or would you prefer, on second thoughts, opening your mind frankly to me of your own accord?”
“One of us needs to speak up,” he said; “and since you obviously won’t, I will. I can only explain your unusual anxiety to learn Miss Gwilt’s secrets in one of two ways. Your motivation is either extremely selfish (no offense, Bashwood, I’m just considering the possibilities), or extremely selfless. After seeing your honest character and commendable behavior, it’s only fair that I clear you of the selfish motive right away. I believe you are just as unable as I am—I can’t say more—of exploiting any discoveries you might make about Miss Gwilt’s past to her disadvantage. Should I continue? Or would you rather reconsider and share your thoughts with me openly?”
“I should prefer not interrupting you, sir,” said Mr. Bashwood.
“I would prefer not to interrupt you, sir,” said Mr. Bashwood.
“As you please,” pursued Pedgift Senior. “Having absolved you of the mean motive, I come to the generous motive next. It is possible that you are an unusually grateful man; and it is certain that Mr. Armadale has been remarkably kind to you. After employing you under Mr. Midwinter, in the steward’s office, he has had confidence enough in your honesty and your capacity, now his friend has left him, to put his business entirely and unreservedly in your hands. It’s not in my experience of human nature—but it may be possible, nevertheless—that you are so gratefully sensible of that confidence, and so gratefully interested in your employer’s welfare, that you can’t see him, in his friendless position, going straight to his own disgrace and ruin, without making an effort to save him. To put it in two words. Is it your idea that Mr. Armadale might be prevented from marrying Miss Gwilt, if he could be informed in time of her real character? And do you wish to be the man who opens his eyes to the truth? If that is the case—”
"As you wish," continued Pedgift Senior. "After clearing you of any selfish motives, let's talk about the more generous motive next. It's possible that you are a very grateful person; and it's clear that Mr. Armadale has been exceptionally kind to you. After giving you a position under Mr. Midwinter in the steward’s office, he has entrusted you completely and without reservation with his business, now that his friend has left him. In my experience with human nature—though it may be possible—you might genuinely appreciate that trust and be genuinely concerned for your employer’s well-being, to the point that you can't bear to see him, in his friendless state, heading toward his own disgrace and ruin without trying to help him. To put it simply: Do you think that Mr. Armadale could be stopped from marrying Miss Gwilt if he were informed in time about her true character? And do you want to be the one who reveals the truth to him? If that's the case—"
He stopped in astonishment. Acting under some uncontrollable impulse, Mr. Bashwood had started to his feet. He stood, with his withered face lit up by a sudden irradiation from within, which made him look younger than his age by a good twenty years—he stood, gasping for breath enough to speak, and gesticulated entreatingly at the lawyer with both hands.
He stopped in shock. Acting on some irresistible urge, Mr. Bashwood had jumped to his feet. He stood there, his wrinkled face suddenly brightened from within, making him look at least twenty years younger—he stood, struggling to catch his breath to speak, and waved his hands pleadingly at the lawyer.
“Say it again, sir!” he burst out, eagerly, recovering his breath before Pedgift Senior had recovered his surprise. “The question about Mr. Armadale, sir!—only once more!—only once more, Mr. Pedgift, please!”
“Say it again, sir!” he exclaimed eagerly, catching his breath before Pedgift Senior had regained his composure. “The question about Mr. Armadale, sir!—just one more time!—just one more time, Mr. Pedgift, please!”
With his practiced observation closely and distrustfully at work on Mr. Bashwood’ s face, Pedgift Senior motioned to him to sit down again, and put the question for the second time.
With his keen, skeptical gaze fixed on Mr. Bashwood's face, Pedgift Senior signaled for him to sit down again and asked the question for a second time.
“Do I think,” said Mr. Bashwood, repeating the sense, but not the words of the question, “that Mr. Armadale might be parted from Miss Gwilt, if she could be shown to him as she really is? Yes, sir! And do I wish to be the man who does it? Yes, sir! yes, sir!! yes, sir!!!”
“Do I think,” said Mr. Bashwood, rephrasing the gist, but not the exact words of the question, “that Mr. Armadale could be separated from Miss Gwilt if he saw her true self? Yes, sir! And do I want to be the one who does it? Yes, sir! yes, sir!! yes, sir!!!”
“It’s rather strange,” remarked the lawyer, looking at him more and more distrustfully, “that you should be so violently agitated, simply because my question happens to have hit the mark.”
“It’s kind of odd,” the lawyer said, eyeing him with increasing suspicion, “that you would be so worked up just because my question struck a nerve.”
The question happened to have hit a mark which Pedgift little dreamed of. It had released Mr. Bashwood’s mind in an instant from the dead pressure of his one dominant idea of revenge, and had shown him a purpose to be achieved by the discovery of Miss Gwilt’s secrets which had never occurred to him till that moment. The marriage which he had blindly regarded as inevitable was a marriage that might be stopped—not in Allan’s interests, but in his own—and the woman whom he believed that he had lost might yet, in spite of circumstances, be a woman won! His brain whirled as he thought of it. His own roused resolution almost daunted him, by its terrible incongruity with all the familiar habits of his mind, and all the customary proceedings of his life.
The question struck a chord that Pedgift never expected. It instantly freed Mr. Bashwood’s mind from the heavy burden of his single obsession with revenge, revealing a new purpose linked to uncovering Miss Gwilt’s secrets that he had never considered until that moment. The marriage he had naively considered unavoidable was actually something that could be prevented—not for Allan’s sake, but for his own—and the woman he thought he had lost might still, against all odds, be someone he could win back! His mind spun as he contemplated this. His newfound determination almost frightened him, due to how completely it clashed with the familiar patterns of his thinking and the usual course of his life.
Finding his last remark unanswered, Pedgift Senior considered a little before he said anything more.
Finding his last remark unanswered, Pedgift Senior paused for a moment before saying anything else.
“One thing is clear,” reasoned the lawyer with himself. “His true motive in this matter is a motive which he is afraid to avow. My question evidently offered him a chance of misleading me, and he has accepted it on the spot. That’s enough for me. If I was Mr. Armadale’s lawyer, the mystery might be worth investigating. As things are, it’s no interest of mine to hunt Mr. Bashwood from one lie to another till I run him to earth at last. I have nothing whatever to do with it; and I shall leave him free to follow his own roundabout courses, in his own roundabout way.” Having arrived at that conclusion, Pedgift Senior pushed back his chair, and rose briskly to terminate the interview.
“One thing is clear,” the lawyer thought to himself. “His real motive in this matter is something he’s too afraid to admit. My question clearly gave him a chance to mislead me, and he took it right away. That’s enough for me. If I were Mr. Armadale’s lawyer, it might be worth digging into the mystery. But as things stand, it’s not my concern to track Mr. Bashwood from one lie to another until I finally corner him. I have nothing to do with it, and I’ll let him pursue his own convoluted path in his own complicated way.” Having reached that conclusion, Pedgift Senior pushed back his chair and stood up quickly to end the meeting.
“Don’t be alarmed, Bashwood,” he began. “The subject of our conversation is a subject exhausted, so far as I am concerned. I have only a few last words to say, and it’s a habit of mine, as you know, to say my last words on my legs. Whatever else I may be in the dark about, I have made one discovery, at any rate. I have found out what you really want with me—at last! You want me to help you.”
“Don’t worry, Bashwood,” he started. “The topic we’re discussing is one I’ve completely run out of things to say about. I only have a few final words left, and as you know, I prefer to say my last words while standing. Whatever else I might be unsure about, I’ve figured out at least one thing. I’ve discovered what you really want from me—finally! You want my help.”
“If you would be so very, very kind, sir!” stammered Mr. Bashwood. “If you would only give me the great advantage of your opinion and advice.”
“If you would be so incredibly kind, sir!” stammered Mr. Bashwood. “If you could just give me the huge benefit of your opinion and advice.”
“Wait a bit, Bashwood. We will separate those two things, if you please. A lawyer may offer an opinion like any other man; but when a lawyer gives his advice—by the Lord Harry, sir, it’s Professional! You’re welcome to my opinion in this matter; I have disguised it from nobody. I believe there have been events in Miss Gwilt’s career which (if they could be discovered) would even make Mr. Armadale, infatuated as he is, afraid to marry her—supposing, of course, that he really is going to marry her; for, though the appearances are in favor of it so far, it is only an assumption, after all. As to the mode of proceeding by which the blots on this woman’s character might or might not be brought to light in time—she may be married by license in a fortnight if she likes—that is a branch of the question on which I positively decline to enter. It implies speaking in my character as a lawyer, and giving you, what I decline positively to give you, my professional advice.”
“Hold on a second, Bashwood. Let’s separate those two things, if you don’t mind. A lawyer can share an opinion just like anyone else; but when a lawyer gives their advice—by God, sir, it’s Professional! You’re welcome to my thoughts on this matter; I haven’t hidden them from anyone. I believe there have been events in Miss Gwilt’s life which (if they could be uncovered) would even make Mr. Armadale, as obsessed as he is, hesitate to marry her—assuming, of course, that he really is planning to marry her; because, while the signs currently suggest that, it’s still just an assumption after all. Regarding how the stains on this woman’s character might or might not come to light in time—she could get married by license in a couple of weeks if she wants—that is a part of the issue that I absolutely refuse to discuss. It would mean speaking as a lawyer, and I won’t give you, what I absolutely refuse to provide, my professional advice.”
“Oh, sir, don’t say that!” pleaded Mr. Bashwood. “Don’t deny me the great favor, the inestimable advantage of your advice! I have such a poor head, Mr. Pedgift! I am so old and so slow, sir, and I get so sadly startled and worried when I’m thrown out of my ordinary ways. It’s quite natural you should be a little impatient with me for taking up your time—I know that time is money, to a clever man like you. Would you excuse me—would you please excuse me, if I venture to say that I have saved a little something, a few pounds, sir; and being quite lonely, with nobody dependent on me, I’m sure I may spend my savings as I please?” Blind to every consideration but the one consideration of propitiating Mr. Pedgift, he took out a dingy, ragged old pocket-book, and tried, with trembling fingers, to open it on the lawyer’s table.
“Oh, sir, please don’t say that!” Mr. Bashwood urged. “Don’t deny me the huge favor, the priceless benefit of your advice! I have such a poor head, Mr. Pedgift! I’m so old and so slow, sir, and I get so terribly startled and anxious when I’m taken out of my usual routine. It’s natural for you to be a bit impatient with me for taking up your time—I know that time is money to someone as clever as you. Would you mind—would you please forgive me if I say that I’ve saved a little something, a few pounds, sir; and since I’m quite lonely, with no one depending on me, I’m sure I can spend my savings as I wish?” Focused only on trying to win over Mr. Pedgift, he pulled out a dingy, ragged old wallet and awkwardly tried to open it on the lawyer’s table with trembling fingers.
“Put your pocket-book back directly,” said Pedgift Senior. “Richer men than you have tried that argument with me, and have found that there is such a thing (off the stage) as a lawyer who is not to be bribed. I will have nothing to do with the case, under existing circumstances. If you want to know why, I beg to inform you that Miss Gwilt ceased to be professionally interesting to me on the day when I ceased to be Mr. Armadale’s lawyer. I may have other reasons besides, which I don’t think it necessary to mention. The reason already given is explicit enough. Go your own way, and take your responsibility on your own shoulders. You may venture within reach of Miss Gwilt’s claws and come out again without being scratched. Time will show. In the meanwhile, I wish you good-morning—and I own, to my shame, that I never knew till to-day what a hero you were.”
“Put your wallet away right now,” said Pedgift Senior. “Richer men than you have tried that argument with me, and they’ve found out that there are lawyers (off the stage) who won't be bribed. I won’t get involved in the case under the current circumstances. If you want to know why, I’ll let you know that Miss Gwilt stopped being professionally interesting to me the day I stopped being Mr. Armadale’s lawyer. I might have other reasons, but I don’t think it’s necessary to mention them. The reason I’ve already given is clear enough. Go your own way, and take responsibility for your actions. You might try to get close to Miss Gwilt’s claws and come out unscathed. Time will tell. In the meantime, I wish you good morning—and I have to admit, to my shame, that I didn’t realize until today what a hero you are.”
This time, Mr. Bashwood felt the sting. Without another word of expostulation or entreaty, without even saying “Good-morning” on his side, he walked to the door, opened it, softly, and left the room.
This time, Mr. Bashwood felt the sting. Without saying another word of protest or making a plea, and without even saying “Good morning,” he walked to the door, opened it gently, and left the room.
The parting look in his face, and the sudden silence that had fallen on him, were not lost on Pedgift Senior. “Bashwood will end badly,” said the lawyer, shuffling his papers, and returning impenetrably to his interrupted work.
The look of sadness on his face and the sudden silence that surrounded him didn't escape Pedgift Senior's notice. “Bashwood is going to end badly,” said the lawyer, shuffling his papers and returning to his work, his expression unreadable.
The change in Mr. Bashwood’s face and manner to something dogged and self-contained was so startlingly uncharacteristic of him, that it even forced itself on the notice of Pedgift Junior and the clerks as he passed through the outer office. Accustomed to make the old man their butt, they took a boisterously comic view of the marked alteration in him. Deaf to the merciless raillery with which he was assailed on all sides, he stopped opposite young Pedgift, and, looking him attentively in the face, said, in a quiet, absent manner, like a man thinking aloud, “I wonder whether you would help me?”
The change in Mr. Bashwood's face and demeanor to something stubborn and self-contained was so shockingly uncharacteristic of him that it even caught the attention of Pedgift Junior and the clerks as he walked through the outer office. Used to making the old man the punchline, they took a loud and humorous view of the noticeable shift in him. Ignoring the relentless teasing he faced from all sides, he stopped in front of young Pedgift and, looking him squarely in the face, said in a calm, distracted manner, like someone thinking out loud, “I wonder if you would help me?”
“Open an account instantly,” said Pedgift Junior to the clerks, “in the name of Mr. Bashwood. Place a chair for Mr. Bashwood, with a footstool close by, in case he wants it. Supply me with a quire of extra double-wove satin paper, and a gross of picked quills, to take notes of Mr. Bashwood’s case; and inform my father instantly that I am going to leave him and set up in business for myself, on the strength of Mr. Bashwood’s patronage. Take a seat, sir, pray take a seat, and express your feelings freely.”
“Open an account right away,” said Pedgift Junior to the clerks, “in the name of Mr. Bashwood. Please put a chair for Mr. Bashwood, with a footstool nearby in case he needs it. Get me a stack of extra double-wove satin paper, and a hundred selected quills, to take notes on Mr. Bashwood’s case; and let my father know immediately that I’m planning to leave him and start my own business, thanks to Mr. Bashwood’s support. Please take a seat, sir, go ahead and sit down, and share your thoughts openly.”
Still impenetrably deaf to the raillery of which he was the object, Mr. Bashwood waited until Pedgift Junior had exhausted himself, and then turned quietly away.
Still completely oblivious to the teasing directed at him, Mr. Bashwood waited until Pedgift Junior had run out of steam, and then quietly turned away.
“I ought to have known better,” he said, in the same absent manner as before. “He is his father’s son all over—he would make game of me on my death-bed.” He paused a moment at the door, mechanically brushing his hat with his hand, and went out into the street.
“I should have known better,” he said, in the same absent-minded way as before. “He’s just like his father—he would mock me on my deathbed.” He paused for a moment at the door, mindlessly brushing his hat with his hand, and walked out into the street.
The bright sunshine dazzled his eyes, the passing vehicles and foot-passengers startled and bewildered him. He shrank into a by-street, and put his hand over his eyes. “I’d better go home,” he thought, “and shut myself up, and think about it in my own room.”
The bright sunlight blinded him, and the vehicles and people passing by confused him. He retreated into a side street and covered his eyes. “I should just go home,” he thought, “and isolate myself to think about it in my own room.”
His lodging was in a small house, in the poor quarter of the town. He let himself in with his key, and stole softly upstairs. The one little room he possessed met him cruelly, look round it where he might, with silent memorials of Miss Gwilt. On the chimney-piece were the flowers she had given him at various times, all withered long since, and all preserved on a little china pedestal, protected by a glass shade. On the wall hung a wretched colored print of a woman, which he had caused to be nicely framed and glazed, because there was a look in it that reminded him of her face. In his clumsy old mahogany writing-desk were the few letters, brief and peremptory, which she had written to him at the time when he was watching and listening meanly at Thorpe Ambrose to please her. And when, turning his back on these, he sat down wearily on his sofa-bedstead—there, hanging over one end of it, was the gaudy cravat of blue satin, which he had bought because she had told him she liked bright colors, and which he had never yet had the courage to wear, though he had taken it out morning after morning with the resolution to put it on! Habitually quiet in his actions, habitually restrained in his language, he now seized the cravat as if it was a living thing that could feel, and flung it to the other end of the room with an oath.
His place was a small house in the rundown part of town. He let himself in with his key and crept softly upstairs. The little room he had was a painful reminder of Miss Gwilt, no matter where he looked. On the mantelpiece were the flowers she had given him at different times, all long dried up, preserved on a small china pedestal under a glass dome. A sad colored print of a woman hung on the wall, which he had framed nicely because it had a look that reminded him of her face. Inside his old mahogany writing desk were the few letters she had written to him at a time when he was watching and listening quietly at Thorpe Ambrose to please her. And when he turned away from these and sank down wearily onto his sofa bed, there hung over one end the flashy blue satin cravat he had bought because she said she liked bright colors, yet he had never found the courage to wear it, even though each morning he took it out with the intention of putting it on! Usually quiet in his actions and reserved in his speech, he now grabbed the cravat as if it were a living creature and threw it to the opposite end of the room, cursing.
The time passed; and still, though his resolution to stand between Miss Gwilt and her marriage remained unbroken, he was as far as ever from discovering the means which might lead him to his end. The more he thought and thought of it, the darker and the darker his course in the future looked to him.
The time went by; and still, even though he was determined to protect Miss Gwilt from her marriage, he was just as far as ever from figuring out how to achieve his goal. The more he pondered it, the more unclear and troubling his future seemed to him.
He rose again, as wearily as he had sat down, and went to his cupboard. “I’m feverish and thirsty,” he said; “a cup of tea may help me.” He opened his canister, and measured out his small allowance of tea, less carefully than usual. “Even my own hands won’t serve me to-day!” he thought, as he scraped together the few grains of tea that he had spilled, and put them carefully back in the canister.
He got up again, as tired as he had been when he sat down, and went to his cupboard. “I’m feeling hot and thirsty,” he said; “a cup of tea might help me.” He opened his canister and measured out his small portion of tea, not being as careful as usual. “Even my own hands aren’t cooperating today!” he thought, as he gathered the few grains of tea he had spilled and put them back in the canister carefully.
In that fine summer weather, the one fire in the house was the kitchen fire. He went downstairs for the boiling water, with his teapot in his hand.
In that lovely summer weather, the only fire in the house was in the kitchen. He went downstairs to get boiling water, holding his teapot in his hand.
Nobody but the landlady was in the kitchen. She was one of the many English matrons whose path through this world is a path of thorns; and who take a dismal pleasure, whenever the opportunity is afforded them, in inspecting the scratched and bleeding feet of other people in a like condition with themselves. Her one vice was of the lighter sort—the vice of curiosity; and among the many counterbalancing virtues she possessed was the virtue of greatly respecting Mr. Bashwood, as a lodger whose rent was regularly paid, and whose ways were always quiet and civil from one year’s end to another.
Nobody but the landlady was in the kitchen. She was one of the many English matrons whose life journey is filled with hardships; and she finds a grim satisfaction, whenever she gets the chance, in examining the scratched and hurting feet of others who are in similar situations. Her only flaw was a minor one—the flaw of curiosity; and among the many redeeming qualities she had was a strong respect for Mr. Bashwood, as a tenant who always paid his rent on time and whose behavior was consistently calm and polite throughout the year.
“What did you please to want, sir?” asked the landlady. “Boiling water, is it? Did you ever know the water boil, Mr. Bashwood, when you wanted it? Did you ever see a sulkier fire than that? I’ll put a stick or two in, if you’ll wait a little, and give me the chance. Dear, dear me, you’ll excuse my mentioning it, sir, but how poorly you do look to-day!”
“What would you like, sir?” asked the landlady. “Boiling water, right? Have you ever seen the water boil when you actually need it? Have you ever seen a fire that’s sulkier than that? I can throw in a stick or two if you’re willing to wait a bit and give me the chance. Oh dear, I hate to mention it, sir, but you really don’t look well today!”
The strain on Mr. Bashwood’s mind was beginning to tell. Something of the helplessness which he had shown at the station appeared again in his face and manner as he put his teapot on the kitchen table and sat down.
The pressure on Mr. Bashwood’s mind was starting to show. The same helplessness he had displayed at the station reappeared in his expression and behavior as he placed his teapot on the kitchen table and took a seat.
“I’m in trouble, ma’am,” he said, quietly; “and I find trouble gets harder to bear than it used to be.”
“I’m in trouble, ma’am,” he said softly; “and I find trouble is harder to handle than it used to be.”
“Ah, you may well say that!” groaned the landlady. “I’m ready for the undertaker, Mr. Bashwood, when my time comes, whatever you may be. You’re too lonely, sir. When you’re in trouble, it’s some help—though not much—to shift a share of it off on another person’s shoulders. If your good lady had only been alive now, sir, what a comfort you would have found her, wouldn’t you?”
“Ah, you can say that!” groaned the landlady. “I'm ready for the funeral home, Mr. Bashwood, when my time comes, regardless of what you may think. You're too isolated, sir. When you're in trouble, it helps, even if just a little, to pass some of it off onto someone else's shoulders. If your wonderful wife were still here, sir, what a comfort you would have found in her, wouldn't you?”
A momentary spasm of pain passed across Mr. Bashwood’s face. The landlady had ignorantly recalled him to the misfortunes of his married life. He had been long since forced to quiet her curiosity about his family affairs by telling her that he was a widower, and that his domestic circumstances had not been happy ones; but he had taken her no further into his confidence than this. The sad story which he had related to Midwinter, of his drunken wife who had ended her miserable life in a lunatic asylum, was a story which he had shrunk from confiding to the talkative woman, who would have confided it in her turn to every one else in the house.
A brief flicker of pain crossed Mr. Bashwood’s face. The landlady had unwittingly reminded him of the hardships of his married life. He had long since had to quiet her curiosity about his family by telling her he was a widower and that his home life hadn’t been happy; but he hadn’t shared anything more with her than that. The sad story he told Midwinter about his alcoholic wife who ended her tragic life in a mental institution was a story he had avoided sharing with the chatty woman, who would have just gone on to share it with everyone else in the building.
“What I always say to my husband when he’s low, sir,” pursued the landlady, intent on the kettle, “is, ‘What would you do now, Sam, without me?’ When his temper don’t get the better of him (it will boil directly, Mr. Bashwood), he says, ‘Elizabeth, I could do nothing.’ When his temper does get the better of him, he says, ‘I should try the public-house, missus; and I’ll try it now.’ Ah, I’ve got my troubles! A man with grown-up sons and daughters tippling in a public-house! I don’t call to mind, Mr. Bashwood, whether you ever had any sons and daughters? And yet, now I think of it, I seem to fancy you said yes, you had. Daughters, sir, weren’t they? and, ah, dear! dear! to be sure! all dead.”
“What I always tell my husband when he's feeling down, sir,” continued the landlady, focused on the kettle, “is, ‘What would you do now, Sam, without me?’ When his temper doesn’t get the best of him (it will flare up soon, Mr. Bashwood), he says, ‘Elizabeth, I could do nothing.’ When his temper does get the best of him, he says, ‘I’ll head to the pub, missus; and I’ll go now.’ Ah, I’ve got my troubles! A man with grown-up sons and daughters drinking in a pub! I can’t recall, Mr. Bashwood, whether you ever had any sons and daughters? And yet, now that I think about it, I seem to remember you saying yes, you did. Daughters, sir, weren’t they? and, oh dear! to be sure! all gone.”
“I had one daughter, ma’am,” said Mr. Bashwood, patiently—“only one, who died before she was a year old.”
“I had one daughter, ma’am,” Mr. Bashwood said patiently, “only one, who died when she was less than a year old.”
“Only one!” repeated the sympathizing landlady. “It’s as near boiling as it ever will be, sir; give me the tea-pot. Only one! Ah, it comes heavier (don’t it?) when it’s an only child? You said it was an only child, I think, didn’t you, sir?”
“Only one!” repeated the sympathetic landlady. “It’s as close to boiling as it will ever get, sir; hand me the teapot. Only one! Ah, it feels heavier (doesn’t it?) when it’s an only child? You mentioned it was an only child, right, sir?”
For a moment, Mr. Bashwood looked at the woman with vacant eyes, and without attempting to answer her. After ignorantly recalling the memory of the wife who had disgraced him, she was now, as ignorantly, forcing him back on the miserable remembrance of the son who had ruined and deserted him. For the first time, since he had told his story to Midwinter, at their introductory interview in the great house, his mind reverted once more to the bitter disappointment and disaster of the past. Again he thought of the bygone days, when he had become security for his son, and when that son’s dishonesty had forced him to sell everything he possessed to pay the forfeit that was exacted when the forfeit was due. “I have a son, ma’am,” he said, becoming conscious that the landlady was looking at him in mute and melancholy surprise. “I did my best to help him forward in the world, and he has behaved very badly to me.”
For a moment, Mr. Bashwood stared at the woman with blank eyes, not trying to respond to her. After mindlessly recalling the memory of the wife who had shamed him, she was now, just as mindlessly, pushing him back into the painful memory of the son who had ruined and abandoned him. For the first time since he had shared his story with Midwinter during their initial meeting in the grand house, his mind drifted back to the bitter disappointments and disasters of the past. Again, he thought of the days long gone, when he had put up security for his son, and when that son’s dishonesty had forced him to sell everything he owned to pay the penalty that was due. “I have a son, ma’am,” he said, becoming aware that the landlady was watching him in silent, sad surprise. “I did my best to help him get ahead in life, and he has treated me very poorly.”
“Did he, now?” rejoined the landlady, with an appearance of the greatest interest. “Behaved badly to you—almost broke your heart, didn’t he? Ah, it will come home to him, sooner or later. Don’t you fear! ‘Honor your father and mother,’ wasn’t put on Moses’s tables of stone for nothing, Mr. Bashwood. Where may he be, and what is he doing now, sir?”
“Did he, really?” replied the landlady, showing a lot of interest. “He treated you poorly—almost broke your heart, right? Ah, it'll catch up with him sooner or later. Don’t worry! ‘Honor your father and mother’ wasn’t just written on Moses’s stone tablets for nothing, Mr. Bashwood. Where is he now, and what’s he up to, sir?”
The question was in effect almost the same as the question which Midwinter had put when the circumstances had been described to him. As Mr. Bashwood had answered it on the former occasion, so (in nearly the same words) he answered it now.
The question was essentially the same as the one Midwinter had asked when he heard the situation described. Just like Mr. Bashwood answered it last time, he responded now with almost the same words.
“My son is in London, ma’am, for all I know to the contrary. He was employed, when I last heard of him, in no very creditable way, at the Private Inquiry Office—”
“My son is in London, ma’am, as far as I know otherwise. The last I heard, he was working in a pretty disreputable position at the Private Inquiry Office—”
At those words he suddenly checked himself. His face flushed, his eyes brightened; he pushed away the cup which had just been filled for him, and rose from his seat. The landlady started back a step. There was something in her lodger’s face that she had never seen in it before.
At those words, he suddenly stopped himself. His face turned red, his eyes lit up; he pushed away the cup that had just been filled for him and got up from his seat. The landlady took a step back. There was something in her lodger’s face that she had never seen before.
“I hope I’ve not offended you, sir,” said the woman, recovering her self-possession, and looking a little too ready to take offense on her side, at a moment’s notice.
“I hope I haven’t offended you, sir,” said the woman, regaining her composure and seeming a bit too quick to take offense at any moment.
“Far from it, ma’am, far from it!” he rejoined, in a strangely eager, hurried way. “I have just remembered something—something very important. I must go upstairs—it’s a letter, a letter, a letter. I’ll come back to my tea, ma’am. I beg your pardon, I’m much obliged to you, you’ve been very kind—I’ll say good-by, if you’ll allow me, for the present.” To the landlady’s amazement, he cordially shook hands with her, and made for the door, leaving tea and tea-pot to take care of themselves.
“Not at all, ma’am, not at all!” he replied, in a strangely eager, rushed manner. “I just remembered something—something really important. I need to go upstairs—it’s a letter, a letter, a letter. I’ll come back for my tea, ma’am. I’m sorry, I really appreciate your kindness—I’ll say goodbye, if you don’t mind, for now.” To the landlady’s surprise, he warmly shook hands with her and headed for the door, leaving the tea and teapot to sort themselves out.
The moment he reached his own room, he locked himself in. For a little while he stood holding by the chimney-piece, waiting to recover his breath. The moment he could move again, he opened his writing-desk on the table. “That for you, Mr. Pedgift and Son!” he said, with a snap of his fingers as he sat down. “I’ve got a son too!”
The moment he got to his room, he locked the door behind him. For a bit, he stood there by the fireplace, trying to catch his breath. As soon as he could move again, he opened his writing desk on the table. “Take that, Mr. Pedgift and Son!” he said, snapping his fingers as he sat down. “I’ve got a son too!”
There was a knock at the door—a knock, soft, considerate, and confidential. The anxious landlady wished to know whether Mr. Bashwood was ill, and begged to intimate for the second time that she earnestly trusted she had given him no offense.
There was a knock at the door—a gentle, thoughtful, and discreet knock. The worried landlady wanted to know if Mr. Bashwood was sick and urgently hoped to reassure him for the second time that she sincerely hoped she hadn't offended him.
“No! no!” he called through the door. “I’m quite well—I’m writing, ma’am, I’m writing—please to excuse me. She’s a good woman; she’s an excellent woman,” he thought, when the landlady had retired. “I’ll make her a little present. My mind’s so unsettled, I might never have thought of it but for her. Oh, if my boy is at the office still! Oh, if I can only write a letter that will make him pity me!”
“ No! No!” he shouted through the door. “I’m fine—I’m writing, ma’am, I’m writing—please excuse me. She’s a good woman; she’s an excellent woman,” he thought after the landlady left. “I’ll get her a little gift. My mind’s so all over the place, I might never have thought of it if it weren’t for her. Oh, if my boy is still at the office! Oh, if I can just write a letter that will make him feel sorry for me!”
He took up his pen, and sat thinking anxiously, thinking long, before he touched the paper. Slowly, with many patient pauses to think and think again, and with more than ordinary care to make his writing legible, he traced these lines:
He picked up his pen and sat there, nervously thinking for a long time before he started writing. Slowly, with plenty of thoughtful pauses to reflect, and making an extra effort to keep his writing clear, he wrote these lines:
“MY DEAR JAMES—You will be surprised, I am afraid, to see my handwriting. Pray don’t suppose I am going to ask you for money, or to reproach you for having sold me out of house and home when you forfeited your security, and I had to pay. I am willing and anxious to let by-gones be by-gones, and to forget the past.
“MY DEAR JAMES—You might be surprised to see my handwriting. Please don’t think I’m going to ask you for money or blame you for selling me out of my home when you lost your security, and I had to cover the costs. I’m willing and eager to let the past stay in the past and to move on.
“It is in your power (if you are still at the Private Inquiry Office) to do me a great service. I am in sore anxiety and trouble on the subject of a person in whom I am interested. The person is a lady. Please don’t make game of me for confessing this, if you can help it. If you knew what I am now suffering, I think you would be more inclined to pity than to make game of me.
“It’s in your hands (if you’re still at the Private Inquiry Office) to do me a big favor. I’m feeling really anxious and troubled about someone I care about. It’s a woman. Please don’t tease me for admitting this, if you can avoid it. If you knew what I’m going through right now, I think you’d be more likely to feel sorry for me than to make fun of me.”
“I would enter into particulars, only I know your quick temper, and I fear exhausting your patience. Perhaps it may be enough to say that I have reason to believe the lady’s past life has not been a very creditable one, and that I am interested—more interested than words can tell—in finding out what her life has really been, and in making the discovery within a fortnight from the present time.
“I would get into details, but I know how easily you get angry, and I don’t want to wear out your patience. Maybe it’s enough to say that I have a reason to believe the lady’s past isn’t very respectable, and I’m very, very interested in uncovering what her life has really been like, and I plan to make that discovery within two weeks from now.”
“Though I know very little about the ways of business in an office like yours, I can understand that, without first having the lady’s present address, nothing can be done to help me. Unfortunately, I am not yet acquainted with her present address. I only know that she went to town to-day, accompanied by a gentleman, in whose employment I now am, and who (as I believe) will be likely to write to me for money before many days more are over his head.
“Even though I don’t know much about how business works in an office like yours, I get that without the lady’s current address, there’s nothing you can do to help me. Unfortunately, I don’t know her current address yet. All I know is that she went to town today with a gentleman I work for, and I believe he will probably write to me for money within the next few days.”
“Is this circumstance of a nature to help us? I venture to say ‘us,’ because I count already, my dear boy, on your kind assistance and advice. Don’t let money stand between us; I have saved a little something, and it is all freely at your disposal. Pray, pray write to me by return of post! If you will only try your best to end the dreadful suspense under which I am now suffering, you will atone for all the grief and disappointment you caused me in times that are past, and you will confer an obligation that he will never forget on
“Is this situation something that can help us? I dare to say ‘us’ because I’m already counting on your support and advice, my dear boy. Don’t let money get in the way; I’ve saved a bit, and it’s all yours to use. Please, please write back to me right away! If you just do your best to end the awful uncertainty that I’m currently dealing with, you’ll make up for all the grief and disappointment you caused me in the past, and you’ll create a favor that he will never forget on
“Your affectionate father,
“Your loving dad,
“FELIX BASHWOOD.”
“Felix Bashwood.”
After waiting a little, to dry his eyes, Mr. Bashwood added the date and address, and directed the letter to his son, at “The Private Inquiry Office, Shadyside Place, London.” That done, he went out at once, and posted his letter with his own hands. It was then Monday; and, if the answer was sent by return of post, the answer would be received on Wednesday morning.
After waiting a bit to dry his eyes, Mr. Bashwood wrote the date and address, directing the letter to his son at “The Private Inquiry Office, Shadyside Place, London.” Once that was done, he went out right away and mailed the letter himself. It was Monday then, and if the reply was sent back by the next post, he would receive it on Wednesday morning.
The interval day, the Tuesday, was passed by Mr. Bashwood in the steward’s office at the great house. He had a double motive for absorbing himself as deeply as might be in the various occupations connected with the management of the estate. In the first place, employment helped him to control the devouring impatience with which he looked for the coming of the next day. In the second place, the more forward he was with the business of the office, the more free he would be to join his son in London, without attracting suspicion to himself by openly neglecting the interests placed under his charge.
The interval day, Tuesday, was spent by Mr. Bashwood in the steward’s office at the big house. He had two reasons for immersing himself as much as possible in the various tasks related to managing the estate. First, staying busy helped him manage the intense impatience he felt as he awaited the arrival of the next day. Second, the more progress he made with the office work, the more free he would be to join his son in London without raising any suspicions about neglecting the responsibilities entrusted to him.
Toward the Tuesday afternoon, vague rumors of something wrong at the cottage found their way (through Major Milroy’s servants) to the servants at the great house, and attempted ineffectually through this latter channel to engage the attention of Mr. Bashwood, impenetrably fixed on other things. The major and Miss Neelie had been shut up together in mysterious conference; and Miss Neelie’s appearance after the close of the interview plainly showed that she had been crying. This had happened on the Monday afternoon; and on the next day (that present Tuesday) the major had startled the household by announcing briefly that his daughter wanted a change to the air of the seaside, and that he proposed taking her himself, by the next train, to Lowestoft. The two had gone away together, both very serious and silent, but both, apparently, very good friends, for all that. Opinions at the great house attributed this domestic revolution to the reports current on the subject of Allan and Miss Gwilt. Opinions at the cottage rejected that solution of the difficulty, on practical grounds. Miss Neelie had remained inaccessibly shut up in her own room, from the Monday afternoon to the Tuesday morning when her father took her away. The major, during the same interval, had not been outside the door, and had spoken to nobody And Mrs. Milroy, at the first attempt of her new attendant to inform her of the prevailing scandal in the town, had sealed the servant’s lips by flying into one of her terrible passions the instant Miss Gwilt’s name was mentioned. Something must have happened, of course, to take Major Milroy and his daughter so suddenly from home; but that something was certainly not Mr. Armadale’s scandalous elopement, in broad daylight, with Miss Gwilt.
Towards Tuesday afternoon, vague rumors about something being off at the cottage reached the servants at the big house through Major Milroy’s staff. They tried, but failed, to get Mr. Bashwood’s attention, as he was focused on other things. The major and Miss Neelie had been locked in a mysterious conversation, and Miss Neelie’s appearance after their talk clearly showed she had been crying. This happened on Monday afternoon, and the next day (Tuesday), the major shocked the household by announcing that his daughter wanted a change of scenery to the seaside, and that he planned to take her himself to Lowestoft on the next train. They left together, both serious and quiet, but apparently still good friends. People at the big house speculated that this domestic upset was tied to the rumors about Allan and Miss Gwilt. However, the cottage dismissed that theory for practical reasons. Miss Neelie had been closed off in her room from Monday afternoon until her father took her away on Tuesday morning. During that time, the major hadn’t left the house or spoken to anyone. When Mrs. Milroy’s new attendant tried to inform her about the town’s gossip, Mrs. Milroy cut her off in a rage as soon as Miss Gwilt’s name was mentioned. Clearly, something must have happened to cause Major Milroy and his daughter to leave home so suddenly, but it was definitely not Mr. Armadale’s scandalous elopement with Miss Gwilt in broad daylight.
The afternoon passed, and the evening passed, and no other event happened but the purely private and personal event which had taken place at the cottage. Nothing occurred (for nothing in the nature of things could occur) to dissipate the delusion on which Miss Gwilt had counted—the delusion which all Thorpe Ambrose now shared with Mr. Bashwood, that she had gone privately to London with Allan in the character of Allan’s future wife.
The afternoon went by, then the evening, and nothing else happened except for the private and personal event that took place at the cottage. Nothing occurred (because nothing in the nature of things could occur) to break the illusion that Miss Gwilt had relied on—the illusion that everyone in Thorpe Ambrose now shared with Mr. Bashwood, that she had secretly gone to London with Allan as Allan’s future wife.
On the Wednesday morning, the postman, entering the street in which Mr. Bashwood lived, was encountered by Mr. Bashwood himself, so eager to know if there was a letter for him that he had come out without his hat. There was a letter for him—the letter that he longed for from his vagabond son.
On Wednesday morning, the mailman, walking down the street where Mr. Bashwood lived, ran into Mr. Bashwood himself, who was so eager to know if he had a letter that he came out without his hat. There was a letter for him—the one he had been waiting for from his wandering son.
These were the terms in which Bashwood the younger answered his father’s supplication for help—after having previously ruined his father’s prospects for life:
These were the words that Bashwood the younger used to respond to his father’s request for help—after having already messed up his father’s chances for a good life:
“Shadyside Place. Tuesday, July 29th.
Shadyside Place. Tuesday, July 29.
“MY DEAR DAD—We have some little practice in dealing with mysteries at this office; but the mystery of your letter beats me altogether. Are you speculating on the interesting hidden frailties of some charming woman? Or, after your experience of matrimony, are you actually going to give me a stepmother at this time of day? Whichever it is, upon my life your letter interests me.
“MY DEAR DAD—We have some experience handling mysteries at this office, but the mystery of your letter completely stumps me. Are you pondering the intriguing hidden faults of some lovely woman? Or, after your experience with marriage, are you really thinking of introducing me to a stepmom at this point? Either way, your letter has truly captured my interest.”
“I am not joking, mind—though the temptation is not an easy one to resist. On the contrary, I have given you a quarter of an hour of my valuable time already. The place you date from sounded somehow familiar to me. I referred back to the memorandum book, and found that I was sent down to Thorpe Ambrose to make private inquiries not very long since. My employer was a lively old lady, who was too sly to give us her right name and address. As a matter of course, we set to work at once, and found out who she was. Her name is Mrs. Oldershaw; and, if you think of her for my stepmother, I strongly recommend you to think again before you make her Mrs. Bashwood.
“I’m not joking, just so you know—though it’s a tough temptation to resist. In fact, I’ve already spent fifteen minutes of my valuable time on this. The place you mentioned sounded familiar to me. I checked my notes and realized I was sent to Thorpe Ambrose to make private inquiries not too long ago. My employer was a lively old lady who was too clever to give us her real name and address. Naturally, we got to work right away and discovered who she was. Her name is Mrs. Oldershaw; and if you think of her as my stepmother, I strongly suggest you reconsider before you make her Mrs. Bashwood.”
“If it is not Mrs. Oldershaw, then all I can do, so far, is to tell you how you may find out the unknown lady’s address. Come to town yourself as soon as you get the letter you expect from the gentleman who has gone away with her (I hope he is not a handsome young man, for your sake) and call here. I will send somebody to help you in watching his hotel or lodgings; and if he communicates with the lady, or the lady with him, you may consider her address discovered from that moment. Once let me identify her, and know where she is, and you shall see all her charming little secrets as plainly as you see the paper on which your affectionate son is now writing to you.
“If it’s not Mrs. Oldershaw, then all I can do for now is tell you how to find the unknown lady’s address. Come to town as soon as you get the letter you expect from the gentleman who has gone away with her (I hope he’s not too good-looking, for your sake) and stop by here. I’ll send someone to help you keep an eye on his hotel or place. If he gets in touch with the lady, or she contacts him, you can consider her address discovered from that moment. Once I can identify her and know where she is, you’ll see all her charming little secrets as clearly as you see the paper your loving son is writing on right now.”
“A word more about the terms. I am as willing as you are to be friends again; but, though I own you were out of pocket by me once, I can’t afford to be out of pocket by you. It must be understood that you are answerable for all the expenses of the inquiry. We may have to employ some of the women attached to this office, if your lady is too wideawake or too nice-looking to be dealt with by a man. There will be cab hire, and postage-stamps—admissions to public amusements, if she is inclined that way—shillings for pew-openers, if she is serious, and takes our people into churches to hear popular preachers, and so on. My own professional services you shall have gratis; but I can’t lose by you as well. Only remember that, and you shall have your way. By-gones shall be by-gones, and we will forget the past.
“A quick note about the terms. I'm just as ready as you are to be friends again; however, while I admit I owe you a bit from before, I can’t afford to lose money over this. It needs to be clear that you’re responsible for all the costs involved in the inquiry. We might need to hire some of the women in this office if your lady is too alert or too attractive to deal with a man. There will be costs for cabs, postage stamps, tickets for public events if she’s into that sort of thing, fees for ushers if she’s serious and wants to take our people to churches to hear popular preachers, and so on. You can have my professional services for free, but I can’t take a loss on this either. Just keep that in mind, and you’ll get what you want. Let's leave the past behind us and forget whatever happened before.”
“Your affectionate son,
"Your loving son,
“JAMES BASHWOOD.”
“James Bashwood.”
In the ecstasy of seeing help placed at last within his reach, the father put his son’s atrocious letter to his lips. “My good boy!” he murmured, tenderly—“my dear, good boy!”
In the excitement of finally having help within his grasp, the father brought his son's terrible letter to his lips. “My good boy!” he whispered, lovingly—“my dear, good boy!”
He put the letter down, and fell into a new train of thought. The next question to face was the serious question of time. Mr. Pedgift had told him Miss Gwilt might be married in a fortnight. One day of the fourteen had passed already, and another was passing. He beat his hand impatiently on the table at his side, wondering how soon the want of money would force Allan to write to him from London. “To-morrow?” he asked himself. “Or next day?”
He set down the letter and started thinking about something new. The next issue he had to deal with was the important question of time. Mr. Pedgift had mentioned that Miss Gwilt could be married in two weeks. One day out of the fourteen had already gone by, and another was slipping away. He tapped his hand restlessly on the table next to him, wondering how soon the lack of money would push Allan to reach out to him from London. "Tomorrow?" he asked himself. "Or the day after?"
The morrow passed, and nothing happened. The next day came, and the letter arrived! It was on business, as he had anticipated; it asked for money, as he had anticipated; and there, at the end of it, in a postscript, was the address added, concluding with the words, “You may count on my staying here till further notice.”
The next day went by without anything happening. Then the day after that arrived, and the letter showed up! It was about business, just as he expected; it requested money, just like he thought it would; and there, at the end, in a postscript, was the address added, ending with the words, “You can count on me being here until further notice.”
He gave one deep gasp of relief, and instantly busied himself—though there were nearly two hours to spare before the train started for London—in packing his bag. The last thing he put in was his blue satin cravat. “She likes bright colors,” he said, “and she may see me in it yet!”
He let out a big sigh of relief and immediately got to work—although there were almost two hours before the train left for London—packing his bag. The last thing he added was his blue satin tie. “She likes bright colors,” he said, “and she might see me wearing it!”
XIV. MISS GWILT’S DIARY.
“All Saints’ Terrace, New Road, London, July 28th, Monday night.—I can hardly hold my head up, I am so tired. But in my situation, I dare not trust anything to memory. Before I go to bed, I must write my customary record of the events of the day.
“All Saints’ Terrace, New Road, London, July 28th, Monday night.—I can barely hold my head up; I'm so exhausted. But given my situation, I can't rely on my memory. Before I go to bed, I need to write my usual account of the day’s events."
“So far, the turn of luck in my favor (it was long enough before it took the turn!) seems likely to continue. I succeeded in forcing Armadale—the brute required nothing short of forcing!—to leave Thorpe Ambrose for London, alone in the same carriage with me, before all the people in the station. There was a full attendance of dealers in small scandal, all staring hard at us, and all evidently drawing their own conclusions. Either I knew nothing of Thorpe Ambrose—or the town gossip is busy enough by this time with Mr. Armadale and Miss Gwilt.
“So far, my luck seems to be turning in my favor (it took long enough for that to happen!). I managed to force Armadale—the brute really needed to be pushed!—to travel from Thorpe Ambrose to London, riding alone in the same carriage with me, right in front of everyone at the station. There was a big crowd of busybodies looking our way, all staring intently at us and clearly coming up with their own theories. Either I don’t know anything about Thorpe Ambrose, or the local gossip is already buzzing about Mr. Armadale and Miss Gwilt.”
“I had some difficulty with him for the first half-hour after we left the station. The guard (delightful man! I felt so grateful to him!) had shut us up together, in expectation of half a crown at the end of the journey. Armadale was suspicious of me, and he showed it plainly. Little by little I tamed my wild beast—partly by taking care to display no curiosity about his journey to town, and partly by interesting him on the subject of his friend Midwinter; dwelling especially on the opportunity that now offered itself for a reconciliation between them. I kept harping on this string till I set his tongue going, and made him amuse me as a gentleman is bound to do when he has the honor of escorting a lady on a long railway journey.
“I had some trouble with him for the first half hour after we left the station. The guard (what a great guy! I felt really grateful to him!) had locked us in together, hoping for a tip at the end of the ride. Armadale was wary of me, and he made that clear. Slowly, I managed to calm him down—partly by not showing any curiosity about his trip to the city, and partly by getting him interested in his friend Midwinter; especially focusing on the chance they now had to reconcile. I kept bringing this up until he started talking, and made him entertain me, as any gentleman should when he has the honor of accompanying a lady on a long train journey.”
“What little mind he has was full, of course, of his own affairs and Miss Milroy’s. No words can express the clumsiness he showed in trying to talk about himself, without taking me into his confidence or mentioning Miss Milroy’s name.
“What little mind he has was full, of course, of his own affairs and Miss Milroy’s. No words can express the awkwardness he displayed while trying to talk about himself without sharing anything with me or mentioning Miss Milroy’s name.
“He was going to London, he gravely informed me, on a matter of indescribable interest to him. It was a secret for the present, but he hoped to tell it me soon; it had made a great difference already in the way in which he looked at the slanders spoken of him in Thorpe Ambrose; he was too happy to care what the scandal-mongers said of him now, and he should soon stop their mouths by appearing in a new character that would surprise them all. So he blundered on, with the firm persuasion that he was keeping me quite in the dark. It was hard not to laugh, when I thought of my anonymous letter on its way to the major; but I managed to control myself—though, I must own, with some difficulty. As the time wore on, I began to feel a terrible excitement; the position was, I think, a little too much for me. There I was, alone with him, talking in the most innocent, easy, familiar manner, and having it in my mind all the time to brush his life out of my way, when the moment comes, as I might brush a stain off my gown. It made my blood leap, and my cheeks flush. I caught myself laughing once or twice much louder than I ought; and long before we got to London I thought it desirable to put my face in hiding by pulling down my veil.
“He was going to London, he told me seriously, about something incredibly important to him. It was a secret for now, but he hoped to share it with me soon; it had already changed how he viewed the gossip about him in Thorpe Ambrose. He was too happy to care about what the rumor spreaders said about him now, and he planned to silence them by showing up in a new role that would surprise everyone. He continued talking, convinced he was keeping me completely clueless. It was hard not to laugh when I thought about my anonymous letter heading to the major; I managed to hold it in—though, I have to admit, it was tough. As time passed, I began to feel a wild excitement; the situation was, I think, a bit overwhelming for me. Here I was, alone with him, chatting in the most casual, friendly way, all the while planning to eliminate his life from my path when the moment came, like I would wipe a stain from my dress. It made my heart race and my cheeks turn red. I found myself laughing a bit too loud a few times, and long before we reached London, I thought it best to hide my face by pulling down my veil.
“There was no difficulty, on reaching the terminus, in getting him to come in the cab with me to the hotel where Midwinter is staying. He was all eagerness to be reconciled with his dear friend—principally, I have no doubt, because he wants the dear friend to lend a helping hand to the elopement. The real difficulty lay, of course, with Midwinter. My sudden journey to London had allowed me no opportunity of writing to combat his superstitious conviction that he and his former friend are better apart. I thought it wise to leave Armadale in the cab at the door, and to go into the hotel by myself to pave the way for him.
“There was no trouble, when we got to the station, convincing him to come in the cab with me to the hotel where Midwinter is staying. He was really eager to mend things with his dear friend—mainly, I’m sure, because he wants his friend to help with the elopement. The real challenge was, of course, with Midwinter. My sudden trip to London hadn't given me a chance to write and counter his superstitious belief that he and his former friend are better off apart. I decided it was best to leave Armadale in the cab at the entrance and go into the hotel on my own to prepare the way for him.”
“Fortunately, Midwinter had not gone out. His delight at seeing me some days sooner than he had hoped had something infectious in it, I suppose. Pooh! I may own the truth to my own diary! There was a moment when I forgot everything in the world but our two selves as completely as he did. I felt as if I was back in my teens—until I remembered the lout in the cab at the door. And then I was five-and-thirty again in an instant.
“Luckily, Midwinter hadn’t left. His excitement at seeing me a few days earlier than he expected was pretty contagious, I guess. Ugh! I can admit the truth in my own diary! There was a moment when I forgot everything in the world except for the two of us just like he did. I felt like I was back in my teens—until I remembered the jerk in the cab at the door. And just like that, I was thirty-five again.”
“His face altered when he heard who was below, and what it was I wanted of him; he looked not angry, but distressed. He yielded, however, before long, not to my reasons, for I gave him none, but to my entreaties. His old fondness for his friend might possibly have had some share in persuading him against his will; but my own opinion is that he acted entirely under the influence of his fondness for Me.
“His expression changed when he heard who was downstairs and what I wanted from him; he didn’t look angry, but troubled. Eventually, he gave in, not because of any arguments I made—since I didn’t offer any—but because of my pleas. His old affection for his friend may have played a part in convincing him against his better judgment, but I truly believe he was entirely driven by his affection for me.”
“I waited in the sitting-room while he went down to the door; so I knew nothing of what passed between them when they first saw each other again. But oh, the difference between the two men when the interval had passed, and they came upstairs together and joined me.
“I waited in the living room while he went to the door, so I had no idea what happened between them when they saw each other again. But oh, the difference between the two men when the time had passed, and they came upstairs together to join me.
“They were both agitated, but in such different ways! The hateful Armadale, so loud and red and clumsy; the dear, lovable Midwinter, so pale and quiet, with such a gentleness in his voice when he spoke, and such tenderness in his eyes every time they turned my way. Armadale overlooked me as completely as if I had not been in the room. He referred to me over and over again in the conversation; he constantly looked at me to see what I thought, while I sat in my corner silently watching them; he wanted to go with me and see me safe to my lodgings, and spare me all trouble with the cabman and the luggage. When I thanked him and declined, Armadale looked unaffectedly relieved at the prospect of seeing my back turned, and of having his friend all to himself. I left him, with his awkward elbows half over the table, scrawling a letter (no doubt to Miss Milroy), and shouting to the waiter that he wanted a bed at the hotel. I had calculated on his staying, as a matter of course, where he found his friend staying. It was pleasant to find my anticipations realized, and to know that I have as good as got him now under my own eye.
“They were both worked up, but in such different ways! The annoying Armadale, so loud, brash, and awkward; the sweet, lovable Midwinter, so pale and quiet, with a gentle tone whenever he spoke and such kindness in his eyes every time they looked my way. Armadale completely ignored me as if I weren’t even in the room. He kept bringing me up in conversation; he constantly glanced at me to see my reaction while I sat silently observing them in my corner; he wanted to go with me and make sure I got back to my place safely, taking care of the cab driver and my bags. When I thanked him and said no, Armadale looked genuinely relieved at the thought of me leaving and having his friend all to himself. I left him, with his awkward elbows sprawled over the table, writing a letter (probably to Miss Milroy) and yelling at the waiter that he needed a bed at the hotel. I expected him to stay where his friend was staying, so it was nice to see my expectations fulfilled and to know that I basically have him under my watch now.
“After promising to let Midwinter know where he could see me to-morrow, I went away in the cab to hunt for lodgings by myself.
“After promising to let Midwinter know where he could meet me tomorrow, I took a cab and set out to find a place to stay on my own.”
“With some difficulty I have succeeded in getting an endurable sitting-room and bedroom in this house, where the people are perfect strangers to me. Having paid a week’s rent in advance (for I naturally preferred dispensing with a reference), I find myself with exactly three shillings and ninepence left in my purse. It is impossible to ask Midwinter for money, after he has already paid Mrs. Oldershaw’s note of hand. I must borrow something to-morrow on my watch and chain at the pawnbroker’s. Enough to keep me going for a fortnight is all, and more than all, that I want. In that time, or in less than that time, Midwinter will have married me.”
“With some difficulty, I managed to get a decent living room and bedroom in this house, where everyone is a complete stranger to me. After paying a week’s rent upfront (since I obviously wanted to avoid providing a reference), I now have exactly three shillings and nine pence left in my wallet. I can't ask Midwinter for money after he already covered Mrs. Oldershaw’s debt. I’ll need to borrow something tomorrow using my watch and chain at the pawn shop. I just need enough to get me through a couple of weeks, which is all I want. In that time, or maybe even sooner, Midwinter will have married me.”
“July 29th.—Two o’clock.—Early in the morning I sent a line to Midwinter, telling him that he would find me here at three this afternoon. That done, I devoted the morning to two errands of my own. One is hardly worth mentioning—it was only to raise money on my watch and chain. I got more than I expected; and more (even supposing I buy myself one or two little things in the way of cheap summer dress) than I am at all likely to spend before the wedding-day.
“July 29th.—2:00 PM.—I sent a quick message to Midwinter early this morning, letting him know I’d be here at three this afternoon. After that, I spent the morning running a couple of my own errands. One isn't really worth mentioning—it was just to get some money by pawning my watch and chain. I ended up getting more than I thought I would; and even if I treat myself to a few inexpensive summer outfits, it’s still more than I’m likely to spend before the wedding day.”
“The other errand was of a far more serious kind. It led me into an attorney’s office.
“The other task was much more serious. It took me to a lawyer’s office.
“I was well aware last night (though I was too weary to put it down in my diary), that I could not possibly see Midwinter this morning—in the position he now occupies toward me—without at least appearing to take him into my confidence on the subject of myself and my circumstances. Excepting one necessary consideration which I must be careful not to overlook. There is not the least difficulty in my drawing on my invention, and telling him any story I please—for thus far I have told no story to anybody. Midwinter went away to London before it was possible to approach the subject. As to the Milroys (having provided them with the customary reference), I could fortunately keep them at arms-length on all questions relating purely to myself. And lastly, when I affected my reconciliation with Armadale on the drive in front of the house, he was fool enough to be too generous to let me defend my character. When I had expressed my regret for having lost my temper and threatened Miss Milroy, and when I had accepted his assurance that my pupil had never done or meant to do me any injury, he was too magnanimous to hear a word on the subject of my private affairs. Thus I am quite unfettered by any former assertions of my own; and I may tell any story I please—with the one drawback hinted at already in the shape of a restraint. Whatever I may invent in the way of pure fiction, I must preserve the character in which I have appeared at Thorpe Ambrose; for, with the notoriety that is attached to my other name, I have no other choice but to marry Midwinter in my maiden name as ‘Miss Gwilt.’
“I fully realized last night (even though I was too tired to write it down in my diary) that I couldn't possibly see Midwinter this morning—given his current position towards me—without at least seeming to confide in him about myself and my situation. There’s just one important thing I must be careful not to overlook. I have no trouble coming up with a story and telling him whatever I want—since up until now, I haven't shared any story with anyone. Midwinter left for London before I could discuss the matter. As for the Milroys (having provided them with the usual references), I can luckily keep them at a distance regarding anything purely about myself. And lastly, when I pretended to make amends with Armadale on the drive in front of the house, he was foolishly generous enough not to let me defend my reputation. After I expressed my regret for losing my temper and threatening Miss Milroy, and when I accepted his assurance that my pupil had never intended to harm me, he was too magnanimous to hear anything about my personal affairs. So, I’m completely free from any previous statements I’ve made; I can tell any story I want—with one limitation already mentioned in the form of a restriction. Whatever I come up with as pure fiction, I must maintain the persona I’ve established at Thorpe Ambrose; because, with the notoriety tied to my other name, I have no choice but to marry Midwinter using my maiden name as ‘Miss Gwilt.’”
“This was the consideration that took me into the lawyer’s office. I felt that I must inform myself, before I saw Midwinter later in the day, of any awkward consequences that may follow the marriage of a widow if she conceals her widow’s name.
“This was the reason I went to the lawyer’s office. I felt that I needed to understand, before I met Midwinter later today, any potential issues that could arise from a widow marrying if she hides her identity as a widow."
“Knowing of no other professional person whom I could trust, I went boldly to the lawyer who had my interests in his charge, at that terrible past time in my life, which I have more reason than ever to shrink from thinking of now. He was astonished, and, as I could plainly detect, by no means pleased to see me. I had hardly opened my lips before he said he hoped I was not consulting him again (with a strong emphasis on the word) on my own account. I took the hint, and put the question I had come to ask, in the interests of that accommodating personage on such occasions—an absent friend. The lawyer evidently saw through it at once; but he was sharp enough to turn my ‘friend’ to good account on his side. He said he would answer the question as a matter of courtesy toward a lady represented by myself; but he must make it a condition that this consultation of him by deputy should go no further.
“Knowing of no other professional person I could trust, I went boldly to the lawyer who was handling my interests during that awful time in my life, which I now have even more reason to avoid thinking about. He was surprised and, as I could clearly see, definitely not happy to see me. I had barely started to speak when he said he hoped I wasn’t consulting him again (with a strong emphasis on the word) for my own sake. I took the hint and asked the question I had come to pose, on behalf of the accommodating person often present in such situations—an absent friend. The lawyer obviously saw through it immediately; but he was clever enough to use my ‘friend’ to his advantage. He said he would answer the question as a courtesy to a lady represented by me, but he had to insist that this consultation through a proxy should remain confidential.
“I accepted his terms; for I really respected the clever manner in which he contrived to keep me at arms-length without violating the laws of good-breeding. In two minutes I heard what he had to say, mastered it in my own mind, and went out.
“I accepted his terms because I genuinely respected the smart way he managed to keep me at a distance while still maintaining good manners. Within two minutes, I heard what he had to say, processed it in my own mind, and then left.”
“Short as it was, the consultation told me everything I wanted to know. I risk nothing by marrying Midwinter in my maiden instead of my widow’s name. The marriage is a good marriage in this way: that it can only be set aside if my husband finds out the imposture, and takes proceedings to invalidate our marriage in my lifetime. That is the lawyer’s answer in the lawyer’s own words. It relieves me at once—in this direction, at any rate—of all apprehension about the future. The only imposture my husband will ever discover—and then only if he happens to be on the spot—is the imposture that puts me in the place, and gives me the income of Armadale’s widow; and by that time I shall have invalidated my own marriage forever.
"Short as it was, the meeting gave me all the information I needed. I don't risk anything by marrying Midwinter using my maiden name instead of my widow's name. This marriage is solid in this way: it can only be annulled if my husband finds out about the deception and takes legal action to declare our marriage invalid while I'm still alive. That's what the lawyer said in his own words. It instantly eases my worries about the future in this regard. The only deception my husband will ever uncover—and only if he happens to be around—is the deception that places me in the position of Armadale's widow and gives me her income; by then, I will have made my own marriage invalid permanently."
“Half-past two! Midwinter will be here in half an hour. I must go and ask my glass how I look. I must rouse my invention, and make up my little domestic romance. Am I feeling nervous about it? Something flutters in the place where my heart used to be. At five-and-thirty, too! and after such a life as mine!”
“Two-thirty! Midwinter will be here in half an hour. I need to go check my reflection to see how I look. I have to get creative and come up with my little home story. Am I feeling anxious about it? Something is fluttering where my heart used to be. At thirty-five, no less! And after a life like mine!”
Six o’clock.—He has just gone. The day for our marriage is a day determined on already.
Six o’clock.—He just left. The date for our wedding is already set.
“I have tried to rest and recover myself. I can’t rest. I have come back to these leaves. There is much to be written in them since Midwinter has been here, that concerns me nearly.
“I've tried to rest and recover. I can't seem to relax. I've returned to these pages. There's a lot that needs to be written in them since Midwinter arrived, and it affects me deeply.
“Let me begin with what I hate most to remember, and so be the sooner done with it—let me begin with the paltry string of falsehoods which I told him about my family troubles.
“Let me start with what I dread remembering the most, so I can get it over with quickly—let me begin with the pathetic lies I told him about my family issues.
“What can be the secret of this man’s hold on me? How is it that he alters me so that I hardly know myself again? I was like myself in the railway carriage yesterday with Armadale. It was surely frightful to be talking to the living man, through the whole of that long journey, with the knowledge in me all the while that I meant to be his widow—and yet I was only excited and fevered. Hour after hour I never shrunk once from speaking to Armadale; but the first trumpery falsehood I told Midwinter turned me cold when I saw that he believed it! I felt a dreadful hysterical choking in the throat when he entreated me not to reveal my troubles. And once—I am horrified when I think of it—once, when he said, ‘If I could love you more dearly, I should love you more dearly now,’ I was within a hair-breadth of turning traitor to myself. I was on the very point of crying out to him, ‘Lies! all lies! I’m a fiend in human shape! Marry the wretchedest creature that prowls the streets, and you will marry a better woman than me!’ Yes! the seeing his eyes moisten, the hearing his voice tremble, while I was deceiving him, shook me in that way. I have seen handsomer men by hundreds, cleverer men by dozens. What can this man have roused in me? Is it Love? I thought I had loved, never to love again. Does a woman not love when the man’s hardness to her drives her to drown herself? A man drove me to that last despair in days gone by. Did all my misery at that time come from something which was not Love? Have I lived to be five-and-thirty, and am I only feeling now what Love really is?—now, when it is too late? Ridiculous! Besides, what is the use of asking? What do I know about it? What does any woman ever know? The more we think of it, the more we deceive ourselves. I wish I had been born an animal. My beauty might have been of some use to me then—it might have got me a good master.
“What can be the secret of this man's grip on me? How does he change me so that I barely recognize myself? I felt like myself in the train carriage yesterday with Armadale. It was truly awful to be talking to him, the living man, during that long journey, knowing all along that I intended to be his widow—and yet I was just excited and anxious. Hour after hour, I never hesitated to speak to Armadale; but the first silly lie I told Midwinter made me freeze when I saw that he believed it! I felt a terrible, hysterical tightness in my throat when he asked me not to share my troubles. And once—I’m horrified when I think about it—once, when he said, ‘If I could love you more dearly, I would love you more dearly now,’ I was so close to betraying myself. I was on the verge of shouting at him, ‘Lies! All lies! I’m a monster in human form! Marry the most wretched person that roams the streets, and you’ll marry a better woman than me!’ Yes! Seeing his eyes well up and hearing his voice shake while I was deceiving him shook me deeply. I've seen handsomer men by the hundreds, smarter men by the dozens. What has this man stirred in me? Is it Love? I thought I had loved, never to love again. Does a woman not love when the man's cruelty toward her drives her to the brink? A man once pushed me to that final despair long ago. Did all my suffering back then come from something that wasn't Love? Have I lived to be thirty-five, only now feeling what Love truly is?—now, when it’s too late? Absurd! Besides, what’s the point of asking? What do I know about it? What does any woman ever know? The more we think about it, the more we fool ourselves. I wish I had been born an animal. My beauty might have actually meant something then—it might have found me a good master.
“Here is a whole page of my diary filled; and nothing written yet that is of the slightest use to me! My miserable made-up story must be told over again here, while the incidents are fresh in my memory—or how am I to refer to it consistently on after-occasions when I may be obliged to speak of it again?
"Here’s an entire page of my diary filled, and I haven't written anything that’s even a bit useful to me! I have to tell my crummy made-up story again right here, while the details are still fresh in my mind—or how am I supposed to refer to it consistently later when I might need to talk about it again?"
“There was nothing new in what I told him; it was the commonplace rubbish of the circulating libraries. A dead father; a lost fortune; vagabond brothers, whom I dread ever seeing again; a bedridden mother dependent on my exertions—No! I can’t write it down! I hate myself, I despise myself, when I remember that he believed it because I said it—that he was distressed by it because it was my story! I will face the chances of contradicting myself—I will risk discovery and ruin—anything rather than dwell on that contemptible deception of him a moment longer.
“There was nothing new in what I told him; it was the same old stuff from the circulating libraries. A dead father; a lost fortune; wandering brothers, whom I dread ever seeing again; a bedridden mother who relies on my efforts—No! I can’t write it down! I hate myself, I despise myself, when I remember that he believed it because I said it—that he was upset by it because it was my story! I will face the risk of contradicting myself—I will risk being found out and ruining everything—anything rather than dwell on that pathetic deception of him a moment longer.
“My lies came to an end at last. And then he talked to me of himself and of his prospects. Oh, what a relief it was to turn to that at the time! What a relief it is to come to it now!
“My lies finally came to an end. Then he shared with me about himself and his future. Oh, what a relief it was to focus on that back then! What a relief it is to revisit it now!”
“He has accepted the offer about which he wrote to me at Thorpe Ambrose; and he is now engaged as occasional foreign correspondent to the new newspaper. His first destination is Naples. I wish it had been some other place, for I have certain past associations with Naples which I am not at all anxious to renew. It has been arranged that he is to leave England not later than the eleventh of next month. By that time, therefore, I, who am to go with him, must go with him as his wife.
“He has accepted the offer he wrote to me about from Thorpe Ambrose; and he is now working as a part-time foreign correspondent for the new newspaper. His first stop is Naples. I wish it had been somewhere else, because I have some past connections with Naples that I really don’t want to revisit. It's been arranged for him to leave England by the eleventh of next month. So by then, I, who will be going with him, need to go as his wife."
“There is not the slightest difficulty about the marriage. All this part of it is so easy that I begin to dread an accident.
“There’s not the slightest problem with the marriage. This part of it is so straightforward that I’m starting to worry about something going wrong.”
“The proposal to keep the thing strictly private—which it might have embarrassed me to make—comes from Midwinter. Marrying me in his own name—the name that he has kept concealed from every living creature but myself and Mr. Brock—it is his interest that not a soul who knows him should be present at the ceremony; his friend Armadale least of all. He has been a week in London already. When another week has passed, he proposes to get the License, and to be married in the church belonging to the parish in which the hotel is situated. These are the only necessary formalities. I had but to say ‘Yes’ (he told me), and to feel no further anxiety about the future. I said ‘Yes’ with such a devouring anxiety about the future that I was afraid he would see it. What minutes the next few minutes were, when he whispered delicious words to me, while I hid my face on his breast!
“The suggestion to keep everything completely private—which I might have found awkward to propose—comes from Midwinter. He wants to marry me under his real name—the name he’s kept hidden from everyone except me and Mr. Brock. It’s important to him that no one he knows is at the ceremony; least of all his friend Armadale. He’s already been in London for a week. After another week, he plans to get the license and marry in the church of the parish where the hotel is located. Those are the only formalities we need. I only had to say ‘Yes’ (he told me) and not worry about what comes next. I said ‘Yes’ with such overwhelming anxiety about the future that I feared he might notice. What an intense few moments those were, as he whispered sweet words to me while I buried my face against his chest!
“I recovered myself first, and led him back to the subject of Armadale, having my own reasons for wanting to know what they said to each other after I had left them yesterday.
“I pulled myself together first and steered the conversation back to Armadale, having my own reasons for wanting to know what they discussed after I left them yesterday.”
“The manner in which Midwinter replied showed me that he was speaking under the restraint of respecting a confidence placed in him by his friend. Long before he had done, I detected what the confidence was. Armadale had been consulting him (exactly as I anticipated) on the subject of the elopement. Although he appears to have remonstrated against taking the girl secretly away from her home, Midwinter seems to have felt some delicacy about speaking strongly, remembering (widely different as the circumstances are) that he was contemplating a private marriage himself. I gathered, at any rate, that he had produced very little effect by what he had said; and that Armadale had already carried out his absurd intention of consulting the head-clerk in the office of his London lawyers.
The way Midwinter responded made it clear he was trying to respect a trust his friend had placed in him. Long before he finished speaking, I figured out what that trust was. Armadale had been discussing the elopement with him, just as I expected. Even though Midwinter seemed to have advised against secretly taking the girl away from her home, he also seemed hesitant to speak too firmly, remembering—though the situations were quite different—that he was considering a private marriage himself. I gathered that he hadn't really influenced Armadale much with what he said, and that Armadale had already gone ahead with his ridiculous plan to consult the head clerk at his London lawyers' office.
“Having got as far as this, Midwinter put the question which I felt must come sooner or later. He asked if I objected to our engagement being mentioned, in the strictest secrecy, to his friend.
“Having gotten this far, Midwinter asked the question I knew would come sooner or later. He wanted to know if I minded our engagement being mentioned, in the strictest secrecy, to his friend.
“‘I will answer,’ he said, ‘for Allan’s respecting any confidence that I place in him. And I will undertake, when the time comes, so to use my influence over him as to prevent his being present at the marriage, and discovering (what he must never know) that my name is the same as his own. It would help me,’ he went on, ‘to speak more strongly about the object that has brought him to London, if I can requite the frankness with which he has spoken of his private affairs to me by the same frankness on my side.’
“I will respond,” he said, “for Allan’s respect for any trust I place in him. I will make sure that when the time comes, I’ll use my influence over him to keep him from attending the wedding and finding out (what he can never know) that my name is the same as his. It would help me,” he continued, “to speak more decisively about the reason he’s in London if I can repay the honesty he has shown about his personal matters with the same honesty from my end.”
“I had no choice but to give the necessary permission, and I gave it. It is of the utmost importance to me to know what course Major Milroy takes with his daughter and Armadale after receiving my anonymous letter; and, unless I invite Armadale’s confidence in some way, I am nearly certain to be kept in the dark. Let him once be trusted with the knowledge that I am to be Midwinter’s wife, and what he tells his friend about his love affair he will tell me.
“I had no choice but to give the needed permission, and I did. It's really important for me to know what Major Milroy decides regarding his daughter and Armadale after he gets my anonymous letter; and unless I somehow earn Armadale’s trust, I’m pretty sure I’ll be left in the dark. Once he knows that I’m going to be Midwinter’s wife, whatever he shares with his friend about his romantic situation will also come to me.”
“When it had been understood between us that Armadale was to be taken into our confidence, we began to talk about ourselves again. How the time flew! What a sweet enchantment it was to forget everything in his arms! How he loves me!—ah, poor fellow, how he loves me!
“When we agreed that Armadale could be trusted, we started talking about ourselves again. Time flew by! It was such a magical feeling to forget everything while in his embrace! How he loves me!—oh, the poor guy, how he loves me!
“I have promised to meet him to-morrow morning in the Regent’s Park. The less he is seen here the better. The people in this house are strangers to me, certainly; but it may be wise to consult appearances, as if I was still at Thorpe Ambrose, and not to produce the impression, even on their minds, that Midwinter is engaged to me. If any after-inquiries are made, when I have run my grand risk, the testimony of my London landlady might be testimony worth having.
“I promised to meet him tomorrow morning in Regent’s Park. The less he’s seen here, the better. The people in this house are definitely strangers to me, but it might be smart to keep up appearances, as if I’m still at Thorpe Ambrose, and not give the impression, even to them, that Midwinter is engaged to me. If any follow-up questions come up after I take my big risk, my London landlady’s testimony might be valuable.”
“That wretched old Bashwood! Writing of Thorpe Ambrose reminds me of him. What will he say when the town gossip tells him that Armadale has taken me to London, in a carriage reserved for ourselves? It really is too absurd in a man of Bashwood’s age and appearance to presume to be in love!....”
“That miserable old Bashwood! Mentioning Thorpe Ambrose makes me think of him. What will he say when the town gossip tells him that Armadale has taken me to London in a carriage just for us? It’s honestly ridiculous for a man like Bashwood, with his age and looks, to think he’s in love!....”
“July 30th.—News at last! Armadale has heard from Miss Milroy. My anonymous letter has produced its effect. The girl is removed from Thorpe Ambrose already; and the whole project of the elopement is blown to the winds at once and forever. This was the substance of what Midwinter had to tell me when I met him in the Park. I affected to be excessively astonished, and to feel the necessary feminine longing to know all the particulars. ‘Not that I expect to have my curiosity satisfied,’ I added, ‘for Mr. Armadale and I are little better than mere acquaintances, after all.’
“July 30th.—Finally, some news! Armadale has heard from Miss Milroy. My anonymous letter has made an impact. The girl has already been moved from Thorpe Ambrose, and the entire plan for the elopement is completely off the table for good. This was what Midwinter had to tell me when I ran into him in the Park. I pretended to be extremely surprised and to feel the typical feminine urge to know all the details. ‘Not that I think my curiosity will be satisfied,’ I added, ‘since Mr. Armadale and I are really just acquaintances, after all.’”
“‘You are far more than a mere acquaintance in Allan’s eyes,’ said Midwinter. ‘Having your permission to trust him, I have already told him how near and dear you are to me.’
“‘You mean so much more than just an acquaintance to Allan,’ said Midwinter. ‘With your permission to trust him, I’ve already told him how close and important you are to me.’”
“Hearing this, I thought it desirable, before I put any questions about Miss Milroy, to attend to my own interests first, and to find out what effect the announcement of my coming marriage had produced on Armadale. It was possible that he might be still suspicious of me, and that the inquiries he made in London, at Mrs. Milroy’s instigation, might be still hanging on his mind.
“Hearing this, I thought it would be wise, before asking any questions about Miss Milroy, to focus on my own interests first and figure out what impact the news of my upcoming marriage had on Armadale. It was possible that he might still be suspicious of me and that the inquiries he made in London, prompted by Mrs. Milroy, might still be on his mind.”
“‘Did Mr. Armadale seem surprised,’ I asked, ‘when you told him of our engagement, and when you said it was to be kept a secret from everybody?’
“‘Did Mr. Armadale seem surprised,’ I asked, ‘when you told him about our engagement, and when you mentioned that it was going to be kept a secret from everyone?’”
“‘He seemed greatly surprised,’ said Midwinter, ‘to hear that we were going to be married. All he said when I told him it must be kept a secret was that he supposed there were reasons on your side for making the marriage a private one.’
“‘He looked really surprised,’ said Midwinter, ‘to find out we were getting married. All he said when I told him it should be kept a secret was that he figured you had your reasons for wanting the marriage to be private.’”
“‘What did you say,’ I inquired, ‘when he made that remark?’
“‘What did you say,’ I asked, ‘when he made that comment?’”
“‘I said the reasons were on my side,’ answered Midwinter. ‘And I thought it right to add—considering that Allan had allowed himself to be misled by the ignorant distrust of you at Thorpe Ambrose—that you had confided to me the whole of your sad family story, and that you had amply justified your unwillingness; under any ordinary circumstances, to speak of your private affairs.’”
“‘I said the reasons were on my side,’ replied Midwinter. ‘And I thought it was important to add—given that Allan let himself be misled by the unfounded distrust of you at Thorpe Ambrose—that you had shared your entire sad family story with me, and that you had more than justified your reluctance; under any normal circumstances, to discuss your personal matters.’”
(“I breathed freely again. He had said just what was wanted, just in the right way.”)
(“I felt a sense of relief. He had said exactly what was needed, in just the right way.”)
“‘Thank you,’ I said, ‘for putting me right in your friend’s estimation. Does he wish to see me?’ I added, by way of getting back to the other subject of Miss Milroy and the elopement.
“‘Thank you,’ I said, ‘for correcting how your friend sees me. Does he want to meet with me?’ I added, trying to steer the conversation back to Miss Milroy and the elopement.
“‘He is longing to see you,’ returned Midwinter. ‘He is in great distress, poor fellow—distress which I have done my best to soothe, but which, I believe, would yield far more readily to a woman’s sympathy than to mine.’
“‘He really wants to see you,’ Midwinter replied. ‘He’s in a lot of pain, poor guy—pain that I’ve tried my best to ease, but I think it would be much easier for a woman’s understanding to help him than for me.’”
“‘Where is he now?’ I asked.
“‘Where is he now?’ I asked.
“He was at the hotel; and to the hotel I instantly proposed that we should go. It is a busy, crowded place; and (with my veil down) I have less fear of compromising myself there than at my quiet lodgings. Besides, it is vitally important to me to know what Armadale does next, under this total change of circumstances—for I must so control his proceedings as to get him away from England if I can. We took a cab: such was my eagerness to sympathize with the heart-broken lover, that we took a cab!
“He was at the hotel, and I immediately suggested we go there. It’s a busy, crowded place, and with my veil down, I feel less at risk of compromising myself than at my quiet lodgings. Besides, it’s crucial for me to know what Armadale is going to do next, given this complete change in circumstances—because I need to manage his actions to get him out of England if I can. We took a cab; I was so eager to support the heartbroken lover that we took a cab!”
“Anything so ridiculous as Armadale’s behavior under the double shock of discovering that his young lady has been taken away from him, and that I am to be married to Midwinter, I never before witnessed in all my experience. To say that he was like a child is a libel on all children who are not born idiots. He congratulated me on my coming marriage, and execrated the unknown wretch who had written the anonymous letter, little thinking that he was speaking of one and the same person in one and the same breath. Now he submissively acknowledged that Major Milroy had his rights as a father, and now he reviled the major as having no feeling for anything but his mechanics and his clock. At one moment he started up, with the tears in his eyes, and declared that his ‘darling Neelie’ was an angel on earth. At another he sat down sulkily, and thought that a girl of her spirit might have run away on the spot and joined him in London. After a good half-hour of this absurd exhibition, I succeeded in quieting him; and then a few words of tender inquiry produced what I had expressly come to the hotel to see—Miss Milroy’s letter.
“I've never seen anything as ridiculous as Armadale’s reaction to the shocking news that his young lady has been taken from him and that I'm set to marry Midwinter. To say he acted like a child is unfair to all the children who aren’t complete fools. He congratulated me on my upcoming wedding and cursed the unknown jerk who wrote the anonymous letter, not realizing he was talking about the same person in that very moment. At one point, he begrudgingly accepted that Major Milroy had rights as a father, and then he blasted the major for caring only about his machines and his clock. One moment he jumped up with tears in his eyes, calling his ‘darling Neelie’ an angel on earth. The next, he sulked and thought a girl with her spirit should have run off immediately to join him in London. After about half an hour of this absurd display, I managed to calm him down; then, just a few words of gentle inquiry led to what I had specifically come to the hotel to find—Miss Milroy’s letter.”
“It was outrageously long, and rambling, and confused; in short, the letter of a fool. I had to wade through plenty of vulgar sentiment and lamentation, and to lose time and patience over maudlin outbursts of affection, and nauseous kisses inclosed in circles of ink. However, I contrived to extract the information I wanted at last; and here it is:
“It was ridiculously long, all over the place, and confusing; in short, the letter of an idiot. I had to slog through a lot of cheesy sentiment and whining, losing both time and patience over sappy expressions of love and gross kisses surrounded by ink circles. Still, I managed to get the information I needed in the end; and here it is:
“The major, on receipt of my anonymous warning, appears to have sent at once for his daughter, and to have shown her the letter. ‘You know what a hard life I lead with your mother; don’t make it harder still, Neelie, by deceiving me.’ That was all the poor old gentleman said. I always did like the major; and, though he was afraid to show it, I know he always liked me. His appeal to his daughter (if her account of it is to be believed) cut her to the heart. She burst out crying (let her alone for crying at the right moment!) and confessed everything.
“The major, upon receiving my anonymous warning, seems to have immediately called for his daughter and showed her the letter. ‘You know how tough my life is with your mother; don’t make it even harder, Neelie, by lying to me.’ That was all the poor old gentleman said. I've always liked the major, and although he was hesitant to show it, I know he always liked me too. His plea to his daughter (if her version is to be trusted) really affected her. She started crying (she knows how to cry at the right moment!) and admitted everything.”
“After giving her time to recover herself (if he had given her a good box on the ears it would have been more to the purpose!), the major seems to have put certain questions, and to have become convinced (as I was convinced myself) that his daughter’s heart, or fancy, or whatever she calls it, was really and truly set on Armadale. The discovery evidently distressed as well as surprised him. He appears to have hesitated, and to have maintained his own unfavorable opinion of Miss Neelie’s lover for some little time. But his daughter’s tears and entreaties (so like the weakness of the dear old gentleman!) shook him at last. Though he firmly refused to allow of any marriage engagement at present, he consented to overlook the clandestine meetings in the park, and to put Armadale’s fitness to become his son-in-law to the test, on certain conditions.
“After giving her time to pull herself together (if he had smacked her upside the head it would have been more effective!), the major seems to have asked some questions and become convinced (just like I was) that his daughter’s heart, or whatever she calls it, was genuinely set on Armadale. The realization clearly upset and surprised him. He seemed to hesitate and held onto his negative opinion of Miss Neelie’s boyfriend for a while. But his daughter’s tears and pleas (so typical of the dear old gentleman!) finally swayed him. Although he firmly refused to allow any marriage engagement at this time, he agreed to ignore the secret meetings in the park and to test Armadale’s suitability as his son-in-law under certain conditions.
“These conditions are, that for the next six months to come all communication is to be broken off, both personally and by writing, between Armadale and Miss Milroy. That space of time is to be occupied by the young gentleman as he himself thinks best, and by the young lady in completing her education at school. If, when the six months have passed, they are both still of the same mind, and if Armadale’s conduct in the interval has been such as to improve the major’s opinion of him, he will be allowed to present himself in the character of Miss Milroy’s suitor, and, in six months more, if all goes well, the marriage may take place.
“These conditions are that for the next six months, all communication between Armadale and Miss Milroy must be cut off, both in person and in writing. During this time, the young gentleman will use it as he sees fit, while the young lady will focus on completing her education at school. If, after six months, they still feel the same way about each other, and if Armadale’s behavior during that time has improved the major’s opinion of him, he will be allowed to come forward as Miss Milroy’s suitor. If everything goes well, the marriage may take place six months later.”
“I declare I could kiss the dear old major, if I was only within reach of him! If I had been at his elbow, and had dictated the conditions myself, I could have asked for nothing better than this. Six months of total separation between Armadale and Miss Milroy! In half that time—with all communication cut off between the two—it must go hard with me, indeed, if I don’t find myself dressed in the necessary mourning, and publicly recognized as Armadale’s widow.
“I swear I could kiss the dear old major if I were just close enough to him! If I had been by his side and had set the terms myself, I couldn't have asked for anything better. Six months of complete separation between Armadale and Miss Milroy! In half that time—with all communication cut off between them—it would truly be surprising if I didn’t find myself dressed in the required mourning and publicly recognized as Armadale’s widow.
“But I am forgetting the girl’s letter. She gives her father’s reasons for making his conditions, in her father’s own words. The major seems to have spoken so sensibly and so feelingly that he left his daughter no decent alternative—and he leaves Armadale no decent alternative—but to submit. As well as I can remember, he seems to have expressed himself to Miss Neelie in these, or nearly in these terms:
“But I’m forgetting the girl’s letter. She shares her dad’s reasons for laying down his conditions, using his own words. The major seems to have spoken so logically and so sincerely that he left his daughter no respectable choice—and he leaves Armadale no respectable choice—but to comply. As far as I can recall, he seems to have said to Miss Neelie in these, or something close to these terms:
“‘Don’t think I am behaving cruelly to you, my dear: I am merely asking you to put Mr. Armadale to the proof. It is not only right, it is absolutely necessary, that you should hold no communication with him for some time to come; and I will show you why. In the first place, if you go to school, the necessary rules in such places—necessary for the sake of the other girls—would not permit you to see Mr. Armadale or to receive letters from him; and, if you are to become mistress of Thorpe Ambrose, to school you must go, for you would be ashamed, and I should be ashamed, if you occupied the position of a lady of station without having the accomplishments which all ladies of station are expected to possess. In the second place, I want to see whether Mr. Armadale will continue to think of you as he thinks now, without being encouraged in his attachment by seeing you, or reminded of it by hearing from you. If I am wrong in thinking him flighty and unreliable, and if your opinion of him is the right one, this is not putting the young man to an unfair test—true love survives much longer separations than a separation of six months. And when that time is over, and well over; and when I have had him under my own eye for another six months, and have learned to think as highly of him as you do—even then, my dear, after all that terrible delay, you will still be a married woman before you are eighteen. Think of this, Neelie, and show that you love me and trust me, by accepting my proposal. I will hold no communication with Mr. Armadale myself. I will leave it to you to write and tell him what has been decided on. He may write back one letter, and one only, to acquaint you with his decision. After that, for the sake of your reputation, nothing more is to be said, and nothing more is to be done, and the matter is to be kept strictly private until the six months’ interval is at an end.’
“‘Don’t think I’m being cruel to you, my dear: I’m just asking you to put Mr. Armadale to the test. It’s not only right, but absolutely necessary that you shouldn’t communicate with him for a while; I’ll explain why. First, if you go to school, the rules there—necessary for the sake of the other girls—won’t allow you to see Mr. Armadale or receive letters from him. If you’re going to become the mistress of Thorpe Ambrose, you need to go to school, because both you and I would feel ashamed if you held the position of a lady of status without having the skills that all ladies are expected to have. Second, I want to see if Mr. Armadale will still think of you as he does now, without being encouraged by seeing you or reminded by hearing from you. If I’m wrong in thinking he’s fickle and unreliable, and if your view of him is the right one, this isn’t an unfair test—true love lasts much longer than six months apart. And when that time is over, and truly over; and when I’ve had him under my supervision for another six months, and have come to think as highly of him as you do—even then, my dear, after all that long wait, you’ll still be a married woman before you turn eighteen. Think about this, Neelie, and show that you love and trust me by accepting my proposal. I won’t communicate with Mr. Armadale either. I’ll leave it to you to write him and let him know what has been decided. He can respond with one letter, and one only, to tell you his decision. After that, for the sake of your reputation, no more will be said or done, and the whole matter will remain strictly private until the six months are up.’
“To this effect the major spoke. His behavior to that little slut of a girl has produced a stronger impression on me than anything else in the letter. It has set me thinking (me, of all the people in the world!) of what they call ‘a moral difficulty.’ We are perpetually told that there can be no possible connection between virtue and vice. Can there not? Here is Major Milroy doing exactly what an excellent father, at once kind and prudent, affectionate and firm, would do under the circumstances; and by that very course of conduct he has now smoothed the way for me, as completely as if he had been the chosen accomplice of that abominable creature, Miss Gwilt. Only think of my reasoning in this way! But I am in such good spirits, I can do anything to-day. I have not looked so bright and so young as I look now for months past!
“To this effect the major spoke. His behavior toward that little brat of a girl has made a stronger impression on me than anything else in the letter. It has got me thinking (me, of all people!) about what they call ‘a moral dilemma.’ We’re constantly told that there can be no possible connection between virtue and vice. Can there? Here’s Major Milroy doing exactly what a great father, being both caring and sensible, loving and strong, would do in this situation; and by that very choice he's now cleared the path for me, just as if he had been the willing partner of that awful person, Miss Gwilt. Just think of me reasoning like this! But I’m in such a good mood, I feel like I can do anything today. I haven’t looked as bright and as young as I do now for months!”
“To return to the letter, for the last time—it is so excessively dull and stupid that I really can’t help wandering away from it into reflections of my own, as a mere relief.
“To return to the letter one last time—it’s so incredibly dull and stupid that I really can’t help drifting off into my own thoughts, just to find some relief.”
“After solemnly announcing that she meant to sacrifice herself to her beloved father’s wishes (the brazen assurance of her setting up for a martyr after what has happened exceeds anything I ever heard or read of!), Miss Neelie next mentioned that the major proposed taking her to the seaside for change of air, during the few days that were still to elapse before she went to school. Armadale was to send his answer by return of post, and to address her, under cover to her father, at Lowestoft. With this, and with a last outburst of tender protestation, crammed crookedly into a corner of the page, the letter ended. (N.B.—The major’s object in taking her to the seaside is plain enough. He still privately distrusts Armadale, and he is wisely determined to prevent any more clandestine meetings in the park before the girl is safely disposed of at school.)
“After solemnly declaring that she intended to sacrifice herself to her beloved father’s wishes (the sheer confidence of her positioning herself as a martyr after everything that’s happened is beyond anything I’ve ever heard or read!), Miss Neelie then mentioned that the major suggested taking her to the seaside for a change of scenery during the few days left before she started school. Armadale was to send his response by return of post and to address it to her, c/o her father, at Lowestoft. With this, and a final outpouring of heartfelt protest, awkwardly squeezed into a corner of the page, the letter concluded. (N.B.—The major’s reason for taking her to the seaside is very clear. He still privately distrusts Armadale and is smartly decided to prevent any further secret meetings in the park before the girl is safely settled at school.)
“When I had done with the letter—I had requested permission to read parts of it which I particularly admired, for the second and third time!—we all consulted together in a friendly way about what Armadale was to do.
“When I finished the letter—I had asked for permission to read parts of it that I especially admired, for the second and third time!—we all talked together amicably about what Armadale should do."
“He was fool enough, at the outset, to protest against submitting to Major Milroy’s conditions. He declared, with his odious red face looking the picture of brute health, that he should never survive a six months’ separation from his beloved Neelie. Midwinter (as may easily be imagined) seemed a little ashamed of him, and joined me in bringing him to his senses. We showed him, what would have been plain enough to anybody but a booby, that there was no honorable or even decent alternative left but to follow the example of submission set by the young lady. ‘Wait, and you will have her for your wife,’ was what I said. ‘Wait, and you will force the major to alter his unjust opinion of you,’ was what Midwinter added. With two clever people hammering common sense into his head at that rate, it is needless to say that his head gave way, and he submitted.
“He was foolish enough, at first, to refuse to accept Major Milroy's conditions. He insisted, with his repulsive red face showing off his robust health, that he would never survive a six-month separation from his beloved Neelie. Midwinter (as you can easily guess) felt a bit embarrassed by him and joined me in getting him to see reason. We pointed out, what would have been obvious to anyone except a fool, that there was no honorable or even decent choice left but to follow the young lady’s example of submission. ‘Just wait, and you’ll have her as your wife,’ I said. ‘Wait, and you’ll make the major change his unfair opinion of you,’ Midwinter added. With two smart people working common sense into his head like that, it goes without saying that he caved and submitted."
“Having decided him to accept the major’s conditions (I was careful to warn him, before he wrote to Miss Milroy, that my engagement to Midwinter was to be kept as strictly secret from her as from everybody else), the next question we had to settle related to his future proceedings. I was ready with the necessary arguments to stop him, if he had proposed returning to Thorpe Ambrose. But he proposed nothing of the sort. On the contrary, he declared, of his own accord, that nothing would induce him to go back. The place and the people were associated with everything that was hateful to him. There would be no Miss Milroy now to meet him in the park, and no Midwinter to keep him company in the solitary house. ‘I’d rather break stones on the road,’ was the sensible and cheerful way in which he put it, ‘than go back to Thorpe Ambrose.’
“Having decided to accept the major’s conditions (I made sure to warn him, before he wrote to Miss Milroy, that my engagement to Midwinter had to be kept as secret from her as from everyone else), the next question we needed to settle was about his future actions. I was ready with the right arguments to stop him if he suggested going back to Thorpe Ambrose. But he didn’t suggest anything like that. Instead, he stated, on his own, that nothing would convince him to return. The place and the people were tied to everything he despised. There wouldn’t be a Miss Milroy waiting for him in the park, and no Midwinter to keep him company in the empty house. ‘I’d rather break rocks on the road,’ was the sensible and positive way he put it, ‘than go back to Thorpe Ambrose.’”
“The first suggestion after this came from Midwinter. The sly old clergyman who gave Mrs. Oldershaw and me so much trouble has, it seems, been ill, but has been latterly reported better. ‘Why not go to Somersetshire,’ said Midwinter, ‘and see your good friend, and my good friend, Mr. Brock?’
“The first suggestion after this came from Midwinter. The clever old clergyman who caused so much trouble for Mrs. Oldershaw and me has apparently been sick, but it seems he’s been getting better lately. ‘Why not go to Somersetshire,’ Midwinter said, ‘and visit your good friend, and my good friend, Mr. Brock?’”
“Armadale caught at the proposal readily enough. He longed, in the first place, to see ‘dear old Brock,’ and he longed, in the second place, to see his yacht. After staying a few days more in London with Midwinter, he would gladly go to Somersetshire. But what after that?
“Armadale quickly agreed to the proposal. He was eager, first of all, to see ‘dear old Brock,’ and second, to check out his yacht. After spending a few more days in London with Midwinter, he would be happy to head to Somersetshire. But then what?”
“Seeing my opportunity, I came to the rescue this time. ‘You have got a yacht, Mr. Armadale,’ I said; ‘and you know that Midwinter is going to Italy. When you are tired of Somersetshire, why not make a voyage to the Mediterranean, and meet your friend, and your friend’s wife, at Naples?’
“Seeing my chance, I stepped in this time. ‘You own a yacht, Mr. Armadale,’ I said; ‘and you know Midwinter is heading to Italy. When you’re done with Somersetshire, why not sail to the Mediterranean and meet your friend and their spouse in Naples?’”
“I made the allusion to ‘his friend’s wife’ with the most becoming modesty and confusion. Armadale was enchanted. I had hit on the best of all ways of occupying the weary time. He started up, and wrung my hand in quite an ecstasy of gratitude. How I do hate people who can only express their feelings by hurting other people’s hands!
“I referred to ‘his friend’s wife’ with the most fitting modesty and embarrassment. Armadale was thrilled. I had found the perfect way to pass the tedious time. He jumped up and shook my hand in pure excitement. I really can't stand people who can only show their feelings by squeezing other people’s hands!
“Midwinter was as pleased with my proposal as Armadale; but he saw difficulties in the way of carrying it out. He considered the yacht too small for a cruise to the Mediterranean, and he thought it desirable to hire a larger vessel. His friend thought otherwise. I left them arguing the question. It was quite enough for me to have made sure, in the first place, that Armadale will not return to Thorpe Ambrose; and to have decided him, in the second place, on going abroad. He may go how he likes. I should prefer the small yacht myself; for there seems to be a chance that the small yacht might do me the inestimable service of drowning him....”
“Midwinter was just as enthusiastic about my idea as Armadale was, but he saw some obstacles to making it happen. He thought the yacht was too small for a trip to the Mediterranean and believed it would be better to rent a larger boat. His friend disagreed. I left them to debate the matter. For me, it was enough to be sure that Armadale wouldn’t go back to Thorpe Ambrose, and to have persuaded him to go abroad instead. He can go however he wants. Personally, I would prefer the smaller yacht; it seems there’s a chance the little yacht might actually help me out by getting rid of him…”
“Five o’clock.—The excitement of feeling that I had got Armadale’s future movements completely under my own control made me so restless, when I returned to my lodgings, that I was obliged to go out again, and do something. A new interest to occupy me being what I wanted, I went to Pimlico to have it out with Mother Oldershaw.
“Five o’clock.—The thrill of knowing that I had complete control over Armadale’s future moves made me so restless when I got back to my place that I had to go out again and do something. I was craving a new interest to engage me, so I headed to Pimlico to confront Mother Oldershaw.”
“I walked; and made up my mind, on the way, that I would begin by quarreling with her.
"I walked and decided along the way that I would start by arguing with her."
“One of my notes of hand being paid already, and Midwinter being willing to pay the other two when they fall due, my present position with the old wretch is as independent a one as I could desire. I always get the better of her when it comes to a downright battle between us, and find her wonderfully civil and obliging the moment I have made her feel that mine is the strongest will of the two. In my present situation, she might be of use to me in various ways, if I could secure her assistance, without trusting her with secrets which I am now more than ever determined to keep to myself. That was my idea as I walked to Pimlico. Upsetting Mother Oldershaw’s nerves, in the first place, and then twisting her round my little finger, in the second, promised me, as I thought, an interesting occupation for the rest of the afternoon.
“One of my promissory notes has already been paid, and Midwinter is willing to pay the other two when they come due, so my current situation with that old wretch is as independent as I could hope for. I always come out on top when it turns into a straight-up battle between us, and I find her incredibly polite and accommodating the moment she realizes that I'm the one with the stronger will. In my present circumstances, she could be useful to me in various ways if I can get her help without revealing any secrets—secrets that I’m more determined than ever to keep to myself. That was my plan as I walked to Pimlico. Agitating Mother Oldershaw’s nerves first, and then having her wrapped around my little finger, promised to make for an interesting afternoon.”
“When I got to Pimlico, a surprise was in store for we. The house was shut up—not only on Mrs. Oldershaw’s side, but on Doctor Downward’s as well. A padlock was on the shop door; and a man was hanging about on the watch, who might have been an ordinary idler certainly, but who looked, to my mind, like a policeman in disguise.
“When I arrived at Pimlico, I was in for a surprise. The house was closed up—not just on Mrs. Oldershaw’s side, but on Doctor Downward’s too. A padlock was on the shop door, and a man was lingering around, who could have just been an ordinary loiterer but, to me, looked like a policeman in disguise.”
“Knowing the risks the doctor runs in his particular form of practice, I suspected at once that something serious had happened, and that even cunning Mrs. Oldershaw was compromised this time. Without stopping, or making any inquiry, therefore, I called the first cab that passed me, and drove to the post-office to which I had desired my letters to be forwarded if any came for me after I left my Thorpe Ambrose lodging.
“Knowing the risks the doctor faces in his specific line of work, I immediately suspected that something serious had occurred and that even clever Mrs. Oldershaw was in trouble this time. Without pausing or asking any questions, I hailed the first cab that came by and rode to the post office where I had asked my letters to be sent if any arrived for me after I left my Thorpe Ambrose place.”
“On inquiry a letter was produced for ‘Miss Gwilt.’ It was in Mother Oldershaw’s handwriting, and it told me (as I had supposed) that the doctor had got into a serious difficulty—that she was herself most unfortunately mixed up in the matter, and that they were both in hiding for the present. The letter ended with some sufficiently venomous sentences about my conduct at Thorpe Ambrose, and with a warning that I have not heard the last of Mrs. Oldershaw yet. It relieved me to find her writing in this way—for she would have been civil and cringing if she had had any suspicion of what I have really got in view. I burned the letter as soon as the candles came up. And there, for the present, is an end of the connection between Mother Jezebel and me. I must do all my own dirty work now; and I shall be all the safer, perhaps, for trusting nobody’s hands to do it but my own.”
“Upon asking, a letter was produced for ‘Miss Gwilt.’ It was written by Mother Oldershaw, and it confirmed what I had suspected—that the doctor was in serious trouble, that she was unfortunately involved in the situation, and that they were both in hiding for now. The letter concluded with some pretty nasty sentences about my behavior at Thorpe Ambrose and a warning that I haven't heard the last from Mrs. Oldershaw yet. I felt a sense of relief seeing her write this way—she would have been polite and submissive if she had any idea of what I really had planned. I burned the letter as soon as the candles were brought up. And there, for now, ends my connection with Mother Jezebel. I have to handle all my own messy business now; maybe I’ll be safer trusting no one but myself to get it done.”
“July 31st.—More useful information for me. I met Midwinter again in the Park (on the pretext that my reputation might suffer if he called too often at my lodgings), and heard the last news of Armadale since I left the hotel yesterday.
“July 31st.—I got more useful information. I ran into Midwinter again in the Park (saying it was to protect my reputation if he showed up too often at my place), and I found out the latest news about Armadale since I left the hotel yesterday.
“After he had written to Miss Milroy, Midwinter took the opportunity of speaking to him about the necessary business arrangements during his absence from the great house. It was decided that the servants should be put on board wages, and that Mr. Bashwood should be left in charge. (Somehow, I don’t like this re-appearance of Mr. Bashwood in connection with my present interests, but there is no help for it.) The next question—the question of money—was settled at once by Mr. Armadale himself. All his available ready-money (a large sum) is to be lodged by Mr. Bashwood in Coutts’s Bank, and to be there deposited in Armadale’s name. This, he said, would save him the worry of any further letter-writing to his steward, and would enable him to get what he wanted, when he went abroad, at a moment’s notice. The plan thus proposed, being certainly the simplest and the safest, was adopted with Midwinter’s full concurrence; and here the business discussion would have ended, if the everlasting Mr. Bashwood had not turned up again in the conversation, and prolonged it in an entirely new direction.
“After he wrote to Miss Milroy, Midwinter took the chance to talk to him about the necessary business arrangements while he was away from the big house. They decided that the staff should be paid weekly, and that Mr. Bashwood would be left in charge. (Honestly, I’m not a fan of Mr. Bashwood’s return in relation to my current affairs, but there’s nothing I can do about it.) The next topic—the money—was quickly handled by Mr. Armadale himself. All his available cash (a substantial amount) is to be deposited by Mr. Bashwood at Coutts’s Bank, and placed in Armadale’s name. He said this would spare him the hassle of any further letter-writing to his steward and allow him to access what he needed when he went abroad at a moment’s notice. The proposed plan, being the simplest and safest, was agreed upon with Midwinter’s full support; and the discussion would have ended there if the perpetual Mr. Bashwood hadn’t reappeared in the conversation and taken it in a completely new direction.”
“On reflection, it seems to have struck Midwinter that the whole responsibility at Thorpe Ambrose ought not to rest on Mr. Bashwood’s shoulders. Without in the least distrusting him, Midwinter felt, nevertheless, that he ought to have somebody set over him, to apply to in case of emergency. Armadale made no objection to this; he only asked, in his helpless way, who the person was to be?
“Reflecting back”
“The answer was not an easy one to arrive at.
The answer wasn't easy to find.
“Either of the two solicitors at Thorpe Ambrose might have been employed, but Armadale was on bad terms with both of them. Any reconciliation with such a bitter enemy as the elder lawyer, Mr. Darch, was out of the question; and reinstating Mr. Pedgift in his former position implied a tacit sanction on Armadale’s part of the lawyer’s abominable conduct toward me, which was scarcely consistent with the respect and regard that he felt for a lady who was soon to be his friend’s wife. After some further discussion, Midwinter hit on a new suggestion which appeared to meet the difficulty. He proposed that Armadale should write to a respectable solicitor at Norwich, stating his position in general terms, and requesting that gentleman to act as Mr. Bashwood’s adviser and superintendent when occasion required. Norwich being within an easy railway ride of Thorpe Ambrose, Armadale saw no objection to the proposal, and promised to write to the Norwich lawyer. Fearing that he might make some mistake if he wrote without assistance, Midwinter had drawn him out a draft of the necessary letter, and Armadale was now engaged in copying the draft, and also in writing to Mr. Bashwood to lodge the money immediately in Coutts’s Bank.
“Either of the two lawyers at Thorpe Ambrose could have been hired, but Armadale had a bad relationship with both. There was no chance of reconciliation with his bitter enemy, the elder lawyer, Mr. Darch; and bringing Mr. Pedgift back into his old role would mean that Armadale would be indirectly endorsing the lawyer’s terrible behavior toward me, which didn’t align with the respect and regard he had for a lady who was about to become his friend’s wife. After discussing this further, Midwinter came up with a new idea that seemed to solve the problem. He suggested that Armadale write to a reputable solicitor in Norwich, briefly explaining his situation and asking that lawyer to act as Mr. Bashwood’s adviser and supervisor as needed. Since Norwich was just a short train ride from Thorpe Ambrose, Armadale had no objections to the suggestion and agreed to write to the Norwich lawyer. Worried that he might make a mistake if he wrote without help, Midwinter drafted the necessary letter, and Armadale was now busy copying that draft and also writing to Mr. Bashwood to immediately deposit the money in Coutts’s Bank.”
“These details are so dry and uninteresting in themselves that I hesitated at first about putting them down in my diary. But a little reflection has convinced me that they are too important to be passed over. Looked at from my point of view, they mean this—that Armadale’s own act is now cutting him off from all communication with Thorpe Ambrose, even by letter. He is as good as dead already to everybody he leaves behind him. The causes which have led to such a result as that are causes which certainly claim the best place I can give them in these pages.”
“These details are so boring and uninteresting on their own that I hesitated at first to write them down in my diary. But after thinking it over, I’ve realized they’re too significant to overlook. From my perspective, it means this—Armadale’s own actions are now cutting him off from all communication with Thorpe Ambrose, even by letter. He is practically dead to everyone he’s leaving behind. The reasons that have led to such a situation are certainly worth the best space I can offer them in these pages.”
“August 1st.—Nothing to record, but that I have had a long, quiet, happy day with Midwinter. He hired a carriage, and we drove to Richmond, and dined there. After to-day’s experience, it is impossible to deceive myself any longer. Come what may of it, I love him.
“August 1st.—Nothing to note, except that I've had a long, quiet, happy day with Midwinter. He rented a carriage, and we drove to Richmond for dinner. After today’s experience, I can no longer deny it. No matter what happens, I love him."
“I have fallen into low spirits since he left me. A persuasion has taken possession of my mind that the smooth and prosperous course of my affairs since I have been in London is too smooth and prosperous to last. There is something oppressing me to-night, which is more than the oppression of the heavy London air.”
“I’ve been feeling down since he left me. There's a nagging feeling in my mind that everything going so well for me in London can’t possibly last. Tonight, something is weighing on me that feels heavier than the thick London air.”
“August 2d.—Three o’clock.—My presentiments, like other people’s, have deceived me often enough; but I am almost afraid that my presentiment of last night was really prophetic, for once in a way.
“August 2nd.—Three o’clock.—My instincts, like everyone else’s, have misled me plenty of times; but I’m almost scared that my feeling from last night was actually right this time.”
“I went after breakfast to a milliner’s in this neighborhood to order a few cheap summer things, and thence to Midwinter’s hotel to arrange with him for another day in the country. I drove to the milliner’s and to the hotel, and part of the way back. Then, feeling disgusted with the horrid close smell of the cab (somebody had been smoking in it, I suppose), I got out to walk the rest of the way. Before I had been two minutes on my feet, I discovered that I was being followed by a strange man.
“I went to a milliner's in the neighborhood after breakfast to order a few inexpensive summer items, and then to Midwinter's hotel to arrange another day in the country with him. I took a cab to the milliner's and to the hotel, and part of the way back. Then, feeling grossed out by the awful smell in the cab (someone must have been smoking in it), I got out to walk the rest of the way. Just two minutes after I started walking, I noticed a strange man was following me."
“This may mean nothing but that an idle fellow has been struck by my figure, and my appearance generally. My face could have made no impression on him, for it was hidden as usual by my veil. Whether he followed me (in a cab, of course) from the milliner’s, or from the hotel, I cannot say. Nor am I quite certain whether he did or did not track me to this door. I only know that I lost sight of him before I got back. There is no help for it but to wait till events enlighten me. If there is anything serious in what has happened, I shall soon discover it.”
“This might just mean that a guy who has nothing to do has been captivated by my looks and overall presence. He couldn't have been affected by my face since it was covered, as always, by my veil. I can’t tell if he followed me (of course, in a cab) from the milliner's or from the hotel. I'm also not entirely sure if he tracked me to this door or not. All I know is that I lost sight of him before I got back. There’s nothing to do but wait until things become clearer. If there’s something serious about what happened, I’ll find out soon enough.”
“Five o’clock.—It is serious. Ten minutes since, I was in my bedroom, which communicates with the sitting-room. I was just coming out, when I heard a strange voice on the landing outside—a woman’s voice. The next instant the sitting-room door was suddenly opened; the woman’s voice said, ‘Are these the apartments you have got to let?’ and though the landlady, behind her, answered, ‘No! higher up, ma’am,’ the woman came on straight to my bedroom, as if she had not heard. I had just time to slam the door in her face before she saw me. The necessary explanations and apologies followed between the landlady and the stranger in the sitting-room, and then I was left alone again.
“Five o’clock.—This is serious. Ten minutes ago, I was in my bedroom, which connects to the sitting room. I was just about to step out when I heard a strange voice on the landing outside—a woman’s voice. The next moment, the sitting room door swung open; the woman’s voice asked, ‘Are these the apartments you have for rent?’ and even though the landlady, standing behind her, replied, ‘No! higher up, ma’am,’ the woman walked straight to my bedroom as if she hadn’t heard. I barely had time to slam the door in her face before she spotted me. Necessary explanations and apologies exchanged between the landlady and the stranger in the sitting room, and then I was left alone again.”
“I have no time to write more. It is plain that somebody has an interest in trying to identify me, and that, but for my own quickness, the strange woman would have accomplished this object by taking me by surprise. She and the man who followed me in the street are, I suspect, in league together; and there is probably somebody in the background whose interests they are serving. Is Mother Oldershaw attacking me in the dark? or who else can it be? No matter who it is; my present situation is too critical to be trifled with. I must get away from this house to-night, and leave no trace behind me by which I can be followed to another place.”
“I don’t have time to write more. It’s clear that someone is trying to figure out who I am, and without my quick thinking, that strange woman would have succeeded by catching me off guard. I suspect she and the man who followed me in the street are in cahoots, and there’s likely someone else behind the scenes whose agenda they are pushing. Is Mother Oldershaw behind this, or who could it be? It doesn’t matter who it is; my situation is too serious to mess around. I need to get out of this house tonight and leave no clues behind that could lead someone to me.”
“August 3d.—Gary Street, Tottenham Court Road.—I got away last night (after writing an excuse to Midwinter, in which ‘my invalid mother’ figured as the all-sufficient cause of my disappearance); and I have found refuge here. It has cost me some money; but my object is attained! Nobody can possibly have traced me from All Saints’ Terrace to this address.
“August 3rd.—Gary Street, Tottenham Court Road.—I managed to leave last night (after writing an excuse to Midwinter, where ‘my sick mother’ was the main reason for my absence); and I’ve found shelter here. It has cost me some money, but I’ve achieved my goal! No one could have possibly tracked me from All Saints’ Terrace to this address.”
“After paying my landlady the necessary forfeit for leaving her without notice, I arranged with her son that he should take my boxes in a cab to the cloak-room at the nearest railway station, and send me the ticket in a letter, to wait my application for it at the post-office. While he went his way in one cab, I went mine in another, with a few things for the night in my little hand-bag.
“After paying my landlady the required fee for leaving without notice, I made arrangements with her son to take my boxes in a taxi to the cloakroom at the nearest train station and send me the ticket in a letter to wait for my pickup at the post office. While he took one taxi, I took another, with a few things for the night in my small handbag.”
“I drove straight to the milliner’s shop, which I had observed, when I was there yesterday, had a back entrance into a mews, for the apprentices to go in and out by. I went in at once, leaving the cab waiting for me at the door. ‘A man is following me,’ I said, ‘and I want to get rid of him. Here is my cab fare; wait ten minutes before you give it to the driver, and let me out at once by the back way!’ In a moment I was out in the mews; in another, I was in the next street; in a third, I hailed a passing omnibus, and was a free woman again.
“I drove straight to the hat shop, which I had noticed when I was there yesterday had a back entrance into a lane for the apprentices to come and go. I walked in immediately, leaving the cab waiting for me at the door. ‘A man is following me,’ I said, ‘and I need to lose him. Here’s my cab fare; wait ten minutes before you give it to the driver, and let me out through the back right away!’ In a moment, I was out in the lane; in another, I was in the next street; in a third, I flagged down a passing bus, and I was a free woman again.
“Having now cut off all communication between me and my last lodgings, the next precaution (in case Midwinter or Armadale are watched) is to cut off all communication, for some days to come at least, between me and the hotel. I have written to Midwinter—making my supposititious mother once more the excuse—to say that I am tied to my nursing duties, and that we must communicate by writing only for the present. Doubtful as I still am of who my hidden enemy really is, I can do no more to defend myself than I have done now.”
“Now that I've cut off all communication with my last place, the next step (in case Midwinter or Armadale are being watched) is to stop all communication, at least for the next few days, between me and the hotel. I've written to Midwinter—using my fake mother as an excuse again—to say that I'm tied up with my nursing duties and that we must only communicate in writing for now. Although I still have doubts about who my hidden enemy really is, I can't do anything more to protect myself than what I've done now.”
“August 4th.—The two friends at the hotel had both written to me. Midwinter expresses his regret at our separation, in the tenderest terms. Armadale writes an entreaty for help under very awkward circumstances. A letter from Major Milroy has been forwarded to him from the great house, and he incloses it in his letter to me.
“August 4th.—The two friends at the hotel have both written to me. Midwinter shares his feelings about our separation in the kindest words. Armadale is asking for help in some tough situations. He has sent me a letter from Major Milroy that was forwarded to him from the big house, and he includes it in his letter to me.”
“Having left the seaside, and placed his daughter safely at the school originally chosen for her (in the neighborhood of Ely), the major appears to have returned to Thorpe Ambrose at the close of last week; to have heard then, for the first time, the reports about Armadale and me; and to have written instantly to Armadale to tell him so.
“After leaving the seaside and making sure his daughter was safely at the school he had originally chosen for her (near Ely), the major seems to have returned to Thorpe Ambrose at the end of last week; he appears to have heard the news about Armadale and me for the first time then, and he wrote immediately to Armadale to let him know.”
“The letter is stern and short. Major Milroy dismisses the report as unworthy of credit, because it is impossible for him to believe in such an act of ‘cold-blooded treachery,’ as the scandal would imply, if the scandal were true. He simply writes to warn Armadale that, if he is not more careful in his actions for the future, he must resign all pretensions to Miss Milroy’s hand. ‘I neither expect, nor wish for, an answer to this’ (the letter ends), ‘for I desire to receive no mere protestations in words. By your conduct, and by your conduct alone, I shall judge you as time goes on. Let me also add that I positively forbid you to consider this letter as an excuse for violating the terms agreed on between us, by writing again to my daughter. You have no need to justify yourself in her eyes, for I fortunately removed her from Thorpe Ambrose before this abominable report had time to reach her; and I shall take good care, for her sake, that she is not agitated and unsettled by hearing it where she is now.’
“The letter is harsh and brief. Major Milroy dismisses the report as unworthy of belief because it’s impossible for him to accept such an act of ‘cold-blooded treachery,’ as the scandal would suggest, if the scandal were true. He writes to warn Armadale that if he doesn’t watch his actions in the future, he must give up any hopes of marrying Miss Milroy. ‘I neither expect nor want a response to this’ (the letter concludes), ‘because I don’t want to hear any empty words. I will judge you solely based on your actions as time goes on. Let me also make it clear that I absolutely forbid you to use this letter as a reason to break the agreement between us by writing to my daughter again. You don’t need to prove yourself to her, as I fortunately took her away from Thorpe Ambrose before this terrible report could reach her; and I will ensure, for her sake, that she remains calm and undisturbed by hearing about it where she is now.’”
“Armadale’s petition to me, under these circumstances, entreats (as I am the innocent cause of the new attack on his character) that I will write to the major to absolve him of all indiscretion in the matter, and to say that he could not, in common politeness, do otherwise than accompany me to London.
“Armadale’s request to me, given the situation, pleads (since I am the innocent reason for the new attack on his reputation) that I write to the major to clear him of any wrongdoing in this matter, and to explain that it would have been impolite of him not to accompany me to London.”
“I forgive the impudence of his request, in consideration of the news that he sends me. It is certainly another circumstance in my favor that the scandal at Thorpe Ambrose is not to be allowed to reach Miss Milroy’s ears. With her temper (if she did hear it) she might do something desperate in the way of claiming her lover, and might compromise me seriously. As for my own course with Armadale, it is easy enough. I shall quiet him by promising to write to Major Milroy; and I shall take the liberty, in my own private interests, of not keeping my word.
“I forgive his bold request because of the news he sends me. It's definitely a plus that the scandal at Thorpe Ambrose won't reach Miss Milroy’s ears. With her temperament, if she did hear it, she might do something drastic to claim her lover, which could seriously compromise me. As for how I’ll handle Armadale, that’s straightforward. I’ll reassure him by promising to write to Major Milroy, and I'll take the liberty, for my own interests, of not following through on that promise.”
“Nothing in the least suspicious has happened to-day. Whoever my enemies are, they have lost me, and between this and the time when I leave England they shall not find me again. I have been to the post-office, and have got the ticket for my luggage, inclosed to me in a letter from All Saints’ Terrace, as I directed. The luggage itself I shall still leave at the cloak-room, until I see the way before me more clearly than I see it now.”
“Nothing suspicious has happened today. Whoever my enemies are, they’ve lost track of me, and between now and when I leave England, they won’t find me again. I went to the post office and got the ticket for my luggage, which was sent to me in a letter from All Saints’ Terrace, as I requested. I’ll keep my luggage in the cloakroom until I have a clearer idea of what lies ahead.”
“August 5th.—Two letters again from the hotel. Midwinter writes to remind me, in the prettiest possible manner, that he will have lived long enough in the parish by to-morrow to be able to get our marriage-license, and that he proposes applying for it in the usual way at Doctors’ Commons. Now, if I am ever to say it, is the time to say No. I can’t say No. There is the plain truth—and there is an end of it!
“August 5th.—I received two letters again from the hotel. Midwinter writes to remind me, in the nicest way possible, that by tomorrow he will have lived in the parish long enough to get our marriage license, and he plans to apply for it in the usual way at Doctors’ Commons. If I’m ever going to say it, now is the time to say No. I can’t say No. That’s the plain truth—and that’s that!”
“Armadale’s letter is a letter of farewell. He thanks me for my kindness in consenting to write to the major, and bids me good-by, till we meet again at Naples. He has learned from his friend that there are private reasons which will oblige him to forbid himself the pleasure of being present at our marriage. Under these circumstances, there is nothing to keep him in London. He has made all his business arrangements; he goes to Somersetshire by to-night’s train; and, after staying some time with Mr. Brock, he will sail for the Mediterranean from the Bristol Channel (in spite of Midwinter’s objections) in his own yacht.
“Armadale’s letter is a goodbye. He thanks me for my kindness in agreeing to write to the major and says goodbye until we meet again in Naples. He has learned from his friend that there are personal reasons which will prevent him from enjoying our wedding. Given this, there’s nothing keeping him in London. He has sorted out all his business, is taking tonight’s train to Somersetshire, and after spending some time with Mr. Brock, he will set sail for the Mediterranean from the Bristol Channel (despite Midwinter’s concerns) on his own yacht.”
“The letter incloses a jeweler’s box, with a ring in it—Armadale’s present to me on my marriage. It is a ruby—but rather a small one, and set in the worst possible taste. He would have given Miss Milroy a ring worth ten times the money, if it had been her marriage present. There is no more hateful creature, in my opinion, than a miserly young man. I wonder whether his trumpery little yacht will drown him?
“The letter contains a jeweler’s box with a ring inside—it’s Armadale’s gift to me for my wedding. It’s a ruby, but quite small and set in really poor taste. He would have given Miss Milroy a ring worth ten times as much if it had been her wedding gift. In my opinion, there’s nothing more detestable than a stingy young man. I wonder if his ridiculous little yacht will sink him?
“I am so excited and fluttered, I hardly know what I am writing. Not that I shrink from what is coming—I only feel as if I was being hurried on faster than I quite like to go. At this rate, if nothing happens, Midwinter will have married me by the end of the week. And then—!”
“I’m so excited and anxious that I can hardly focus on what I’m writing. It’s not that I’m afraid of what’s coming—I just feel like I’m being rushed forward faster than I’d like. At this pace, if nothing changes, Midwinter will have married me by the end of the week. And then—!”
“August 6th.—If anything could startle me now, I should feel startled by the news that has reached me to-day.
“August 6th.—If anything could surprise me now, I would be surprised by the news I’ve received today.”
“On his return to the hotel this morning, after getting the marriage-license, Midwinter found a telegram waiting for him. It contained an urgent message from Armadale, announcing that Mr. Brock had had a relapse, and that all hope of his recovery was pronounced by the doctors to be at an end. By the dying man’s own desire, Midwinter was summoned to take leave of him, and was entreated by Armadale not to lose a moment in starting for the rectory by the first train.
“On his return to the hotel this morning, after getting the marriage license, Midwinter found a telegram waiting for him. It contained an urgent message from Armadale, announcing that Mr. Brock had had a relapse, and that the doctors had given up hope for his recovery. By the dying man’s own wish, Midwinter was called to say goodbye to him, and Armadale urged him not to waste any time in taking the first train to the rectory.”
“The hurried letter which tells me this tells me also that, by the time I receive it, Midwinter will be on his way to the West. He promises to write at greater length, after he has seen Mr. Brock, by to-night’s post.
“The quick letter that informs me of this also lets me know that, by the time I get it, Midwinter will be heading to the West. He promises to write more in detail after he meets with Mr. Brock, by tonight’s mail.”
“This news has an interest for me, which Midwinter little suspects. There is but one human creature, besides myself, who knows the secret of his birth and his name; and that one is the old man who now lies waiting for him at the point of death. What will they say to each other at the last moment? Will some chance word take them back to the time when I was in Mrs. Armadale’s service at Madeira? Will they speak of Me?”
“This news interests me, which Midwinter can hardly imagine. There’s only one other person, besides me, who knows the truth about his origins and his name; that person is the old man who is now on his deathbed, waiting for him. What will they say to each other in those final moments? Will some random word remind them of the time I was in Mrs. Armadale’s service in Madeira? Will they talk about me?”
“August 7th.—The promised letter has just reached me. No parting words have been exchanged between them: it was all over before Midwinter reached Somersetshire. Armadale met him at the rectory gate with the news that Mr. Brock was dead.
“August 7th.—The promised letter has just arrived. They didn't exchange any goodbye words: everything was finished before Midwinter got to Somersetshire. Armadale met him at the rectory gate with the news that Mr. Brock had died.
“I try to struggle against it, but, coming after the strange complication of circumstances that has been closing round me for weeks past, there is something in this latest event of all that shakes my nerves. But one last chance of detection stood in my way when I opened my diary yesterday. When I open it to-day, that chance is removed by Mr. Brock’s death. It means something; I wish I knew what.
“I try to fight against it, but after the strange complications that have been surrounding me for the past few weeks, there’s something about this latest event that really unsettles me. I had one last opportunity for detection standing in my way when I opened my diary yesterday. Now that I open it today, that opportunity is gone because of Mr. Brock’s death. It means something; I just wish I knew what it was.”
“The funeral is to be on Saturday morning. Midwinter will attend it as well as Armadale. But he proposes returning to London first; and he writes word that he will call to-night, in the hope of seeing me, on his way from the station to the hotel. Even if there was any risk in it, I should see him, as things are now. But there is no risk if he comes here from the station instead of coming from the hotel.”
“The funeral is set for Saturday morning. Midwinter will be there along with Armadale. However, he plans to return to London first; he wrote that he’ll stop by tonight, hoping to see me on his way from the station to the hotel. Even if there was some risk in it, I would see him, given the situation. But there’s no risk if he comes here from the station instead of from the hotel.”
“Five o’clock.—I was not mistaken in believing that my nerves were all unstrung. Trifles that would not have cost me a second thought at other times weigh heavily on my mind now.
“Five o’clock.—I was right in thinking that my nerves were completely frayed. Little things that I wouldn’t have thought twice about before are now weighing heavily on my mind.
“Two hours since, in despair of knowing how to get through the day, I bethought myself of the milliner who is making my summer dress. I had intended to go and try it on yesterday; but it slipped out of my memory in the excitement of hearing about Mr. Brock. So I went this afternoon, eager to do anything that might help me to get rid of myself. I have returned, feeling more uneasy and more depressed than I felt when I went out; for I have come back fearing that I may yet have reason to repent not having left my unfinished dress on the milliner’s hands.
“Two hours ago, in my desperation to get through the day, I remembered the dressmaker who is making my summer dress. I had planned to go try it on yesterday, but I completely forgot in the excitement of hearing about Mr. Brock. So I went this afternoon, eager to do anything that might help me escape my thoughts. I’ve come back feeling even more uneasy and depressed than when I left; I’m now worried that I might regret not leaving my unfinished dress with the dressmaker.”
“Nothing happened to me, this time, in the street. It was only in the trying-on room that my suspicions were roused; and there it certainly did cross my mind that the attempt to discover me, which I defeated at All Saints’ Terrace, was not given up yet, and that some of the shop-women had been tampered with, if not the mistress herself.
“Nothing happened to me this time in the street. It was only in the fitting room that I became suspicious; and there it definitely crossed my mind that the effort to find me, which I thwarted at All Saints’ Terrace, wasn’t over yet, and that some of the shop assistants had been interfered with, if not the owner herself.”
“Can I give myself anything in the shape of a reason for this impression? Let me think a little.
“Can I give myself any reason for this impression? Let me think for a moment.
“I certainly noticed two things which were out of the ordinary routine, under the circumstances. In the first place, there were twice as many women as were needed in the trying-on room. This looked suspicious; and yet I might have accounted for it in more ways than one. Is it not the slack time now? and don’t I know by experience that I am the sort of woman about whom other women are always spitefully curious? I thought again, in the second place, that one of the assistants persisted rather oddly in keeping me turned in a particular direction, with my face toward the glazed and curtained door that led into the work-room. But, after all, she gave a reason when I asked for it. She said the light fell better on me that way; and, when I looked round, there was the window to prove her right. Still, these trifles produced such an effect on me, at the time, that I purposely found fault with the dress, so as to have an excuse for trying it on again, before I told them where I lived, and had it sent home. Pure fancy, I dare say. Pure fancy, perhaps, at the present moment. I don’t care; I shall act on instinct (as they say), and give up the dress. In plainer words still, I won’t go back.”
“I definitely noticed two things that were unusual for the situation. First, there were twice as many women in the fitting room as necessary. This seemed suspicious, but I could explain it in various ways. Isn’t it a slow time right now? And don’t I know from experience that I’m the type of woman who sparks other women’s curiosity? Secondly, I thought it was strange that one of the assistants kept me turned in a specific direction, facing the glazed and curtained door that led into the workshop. Still, she provided a reason when I asked. She said the light was better that way, and when I looked around, there was a window to back her up. Yet, these small things affected me so much at the time that I deliberately criticized the dress to have an excuse to try it on again before telling them where I lived to have it sent home. Just a whim, I suppose. Just a whim, maybe, at this moment. I don’t care; I’ll trust my instincts and forget about the dress. In simpler terms, I won’t go back.”
“Midnight.—Midwinter came to see me as he promised. An hour has passed since we said good-night; and here I still sit, with my pen in my hand, thinking of him. No words of mine can describe what has passed between us. The end of it is all I can write in these pages; and the end of it is that he has shaken my resolution. For the first time since I saw the easy way to Armadale’s life at Thorpe Ambrose, I feel as if the man whom I have doomed in my own thoughts had a chance of escaping me.
“Midnight.—Midwinter came to see me as he promised. An hour has passed since we said good-night, and here I still sit with my pen in my hand, thinking about him. No words I can write will capture what has happened between us. The only thing I can record here is that he has unsettled my determination. For the first time since I recognized the straightforward path to Armadale’s life at Thorpe Ambrose, I feel like the man I’ve condemned in my mind might actually have a chance of escaping me."
“Is it my love for Midwinter that has altered me? Or is it his love for me that has taken possession not only of all I wish to give him, but of all I wish to keep from him as well? I feel as if I had lost myself—lost myself, I mean, in him—all through the evening. He was in great agitation about what had happened in Somersetshire; and he made me feel as disheartened and as wretched about it as he did. Though he never confessed it in words, I know that Mr. Brock’s death has startled him as an ill omen for our marriage—I know it, because I feel Mr. Brock’s death as an ill omen too. The superstition—his superstition—took so strong a hold on me, that when we grew calmer and he spoke of time future—when he told me that he must either break his engagement with his new employers or go abroad, as he is pledged to go, on Monday next—I actually shrank at the thought of our marriage following close on Mr. Brock’s funeral; I actually said to him, in the impulse of the moment, ‘Go, and begin your new life alone! go, and leave me here to wait for happier times.’
“Is it my love for Midwinter that has changed me? Or is it his love for me that has taken over not only all I want to give him, but also all I want to keep from him? I feel like I’ve lost myself—lost myself, I mean, in him—all through the evening. He was very upset about what happened in Somersetshire; and he made me feel as discouraged and as miserable about it as he did. Even though he never said it out loud, I know that Mr. Brock’s death has shaken him as a bad sign for our marriage—I know it because I feel Mr. Brock’s death as a bad sign too. The superstition—his superstition—gripped me so tightly that when we calmed down and he talked about the future—when he told me he had to either break his contract with his new employers or go abroad, as he is committed to do, on Monday—I actually flinched at the thought of our marriage happening so soon after Mr. Brock’s funeral; I actually said to him, in the heat of the moment, ‘Go, and start your new life alone! Go, and leave me here to wait for better times.’”
“He took me in his arms. He sighed, and kissed me with an angelic tenderness. He said—oh, so softly and so sadly!—I have no life now, apart from you.’ As those words passed his lips, the thought seemed to rise in my mind like an echo, ‘Why not live out all the days that are left to me, happy and harmless in a love like this!’ I can’t explain it—I can’t realize it. That was the thought in me at the time; and that is the thought in me still. I see my own hand while I write the words—and I ask myself whether it is really the hand of Lydia Gwilt!
“He pulled me into his arms. He sighed and kissed me with a gentle tenderness. He said—oh, so softly and so sadly!—‘I have no life now, apart from you.’ As those words left his lips, a thought rose in my mind like an echo, ‘Why not spend all my remaining days happy and safe in a love like this!’ I can’t explain it—I can’t grasp it. That was the thought in me at the time; and that is the thought in me still. I see my own hand as I write these words—and I wonder if it’s really the hand of Lydia Gwilt!”
“Armadale—
Armadale—
“No! I will never write, I will never think of Armadale again.
“No! I will never write, I will never think of Armadale again."
“Yes! Let me write once more—let me think once more of him, because it quiets me to know that he is going away, and that the sea will have parted us before I am married. His old home is home to him no longer, now that the loss of his mother has been followed by the loss of his best and earliest friend. When the funeral is over, he has decided to sail the same day for the foreign seas. We may, or we may not, meet at Naples. Shall I be an altered woman if we do? I wonder; I wonder!”
“Yes! Let me write once more—let me think again of him, because it calms me to know that he’s leaving, and the sea will separate us before I get married. His childhood home doesn’t feel like home anymore, now that he has lost his mother and his closest friend. Once the funeral is over, he plans to set sail the same day for foreign waters. We might, or we might not, see each other in Naples. Will I be a different woman if we do? I wonder; I wonder!”
“August 8th.—A line from Midwinter. He has gone back to Somersetshire to be in readiness for the funeral to-morrow; and he will return here (after bidding Armadale good-by) to-morrow evening.
“August 8th.—A note from Midwinter. He has gone back to Somersetshire to prepare for the funeral tomorrow; and he will return here (after saying goodbye to Armadale) tomorrow evening.”
“The last forms and ceremonies preliminary to our marriage have been complied with. I am to be his wife on Monday next. The hour must not be later than half-past ten—which will give us just time, when the service is over, to get from the church door to the railway, and to start on our journey to Naples the same day.
“The final steps and ceremonies before our marriage have been completed. I will be his wife this coming Monday. The time must not be later than 10:30, which will give us just enough time, once the service is done, to get from the church door to the train station and begin our journey to Naples that same day."
“To-day—Saturday—Sunday! I am not afraid of the time; the time will pass. I am not afraid of myself, if I can only keep all thoughts but one out of my mind. I love him! Day and night, till Monday comes, I will think of nothing but that. I love him!”
“To-day—Saturday—Sunday! I'm not worried about time; it will go by. I'm not afraid of myself, as long as I can keep all thoughts but one out of my head. I love him! Day and night, until Monday comes, I will think of nothing but that. I love him!”
“Four o’clock.—Other thoughts are forced into my mind in spite of me. My suspicions of yesterday were no mere fancies; the milliner has been tampered with. My folly in going back to her house has led to my being traced here. I am absolutely certain that I never gave the woman my address; and yet my new gown was sent home to me at two o’clock to-day!
“Four o’clock.—Other thoughts invade my mind despite my efforts to shake them off. My doubts from yesterday weren’t just silly notions; someone has interfered with the milliner. My mistake in returning to her house has resulted in me being followed here. I’m completely sure that I never gave her my address; and yet my new dress was delivered to me at two o’clock today!”
“A man brought it with the bill, and a civil message, to say that, as I had not called at the appointed time to try it on again, the dress had been finished and sent to me. He caught me in the passage; I had no choice but to pay the bill, and dismiss him. Any other proceeding, as events have now turned out, would have been pure folly. The messenger (not the man who followed me in the street, but another spy sent to look at me, beyond all doubt) would have declared he knew nothing about it, if I had spoken to him. The milliner would tell me to my face, if I went to her, that I had given her my address. The one useful thing to do now is to set my wits to work in the interests of my own security, and to step out of the false position in which my own rashness has placed me—if I can.”
“A man brought it along with the bill and a polite note, saying that since I hadn’t shown up at the scheduled time to try it on again, the dress had been completed and sent to me. He caught me in the hallway; I had no choice but to pay the bill and send him away. Any other action, given how things have played out, would have been complete foolishness. The messenger (not the guy who followed me on the street, but another person sent to check on me, no doubt) would have claimed he knew nothing about it if I had tried to talk to him. The milliner would confidently tell me, if I went to her, that I had given her my address. The only useful thing to do now is to use my wits for my own safety and to escape the tricky situation my own impulsiveness has put me in—if I can.”
“Seven o’clock.—My spirits have risen again. I believe I am in a fair way of extricating myself already.
“Seven o’clock.—I feel better again. I think I’m on the right track to getting myself out of this situation already.”
“I have just come back from a long round in a cab. First, to the cloak-room of the Great Western, to get the luggage which I sent there from All Saints’ Terrace. Next, to the cloak-room of the Southeastern, to leave my luggage (labeled in Midwinter’s name), to wait for me till the starting of the tidal train on Monday. Next, to the General Post-office, to post a letter to Midwinter at the rectory, which he will receive to-morrow morning. Lastly, back again to this house—from which I shall move no more till Monday comes.
"I just got back from a long trip in a cab. First, I went to the cloakroom at the Great Western to pick up the luggage I sent there from All Saints’ Terrace. Next, I stopped by the cloakroom at the Southeastern to leave my luggage (tagged in Midwinter’s name) to wait for me until the tidal train departs on Monday. After that, I went to the General Post Office to mail a letter to Midwinter at the rectory, which he’ll receive tomorrow morning. Finally, I returned to this house—where I won’t be leaving again until Monday."
“My letter to Midwinter will, I have little doubt, lead to his seconding (quite innocently) the precautions that I am taking for my own safety. The shortness of the time at our disposal on Monday will oblige him to pay his bill at the hotel and to remove his luggage before the marriage ceremony takes place. All I ask him to do beyond this is to take the luggage himself to the Southeastern (so as to make any inquiries useless which may address themselves to the servants at the hotel)—and, that done, to meet me at the church door, instead of calling for me here. The rest concerns nobody but myself. When Sunday night or Monday morning comes, it will be hard, indeed—freed as I am now from all incumbrances—if I can’t give the people who are watching me the slip for the second time.
“My letter to Midwinter will, I’m sure, lead him to unknowingly support the precautions I’m taking for my own safety. The limited time we have on Monday will force him to pay his hotel bill and take his luggage away before the wedding ceremony happens. All I ask him to do beyond this is to take the luggage himself to the Southeastern (so that any inquiries directed at the hotel staff are unnecessary)—and once that’s done, to meet me at the church door instead of picking me up here. The rest is only my concern. When Sunday night or Monday morning arrives, it will be tough, considering I’m now free of all burdens—if I can’t slip away from the people who are watching me for the second time.”
“It seems needless enough to have written to Midwinter to-day, when he is coming back to me to-morrow night. But it was impossible to ask, what I have been obliged to ask of him, without making my false family circumstances once more the excuse; and having this to do—I must own the truth—I wrote to him because, after what I suffered on the last occasion, I can never again deceive him to his face.”
“It seems pointless to have written to Midwinter today, since he’s coming back to me tomorrow night. But I couldn’t ask what I needed to ask without using my fake family situation as an excuse again; and having to do this—I have to admit the truth—I wrote to him because, after what I went through last time, I can never again lie to him in person.”
“August 9th.—Two o’clock.—I rose early this morning, more depressed in spirits than usual. The re-beginning of one’s life, at the re-beginning of every day, has already been something weary and hopeless to me for years past. I dreamed, too, all through the night—not of Midwinter and of my married life, as I had hoped to dream—but of the wretched conspiracy to discover me, by which I have been driven from one place to another, like a hunted animal. Nothing in the shape of a new revelation enlightened me in my sleep. All I could guess dreaming was what I had guessed waking, that Mother Oldershaw is the enemy who is attacking me in the dark.
“August 9th.—Two o’clock.—I got up early this morning, feeling more down than usual. Restarting my life, day after day, has become something tiring and hopeless for me over the years. I dreamt all night—not about Midwinter and my married life, as I had hoped—but about the miserable scheme to find me, which has forced me to move from place to place, like a hunted animal. Nothing new or enlightening came to me in my sleep. All I could figure out in my dreams was what I had already suspected when awake, that Mother Oldershaw is the enemy attacking me in the dark.”
“My restless night has, however, produced one satisfactory result. It has led to my winning the good graces of the servant here, and securing all the assistance she can give me when the time comes for making my escape.
“My restless night has, however, produced one positive outcome. It has helped me win the favor of the servant here, and gain all the support she can provide when the time comes for making my escape.
“The girl noticed this morning that I looked pale and anxious. I took her into my confidence, to the extent of telling her that I was privately engaged to be married, and that I had enemies who were trying to part me from my sweetheart. This instantly roused her sympathy, and a present of a ten-shilling piece for her kind services to me did the rest. In the intervals of her housework she has been with me nearly the whole morning; and I found out, among other things, that her sweetheart is a private soldier in the Guards, and that she expects to see him to-morrow. I have got money enough left, little as it is, to turn the head of any Private in the British army; and, if the person appointed to watch me to-morrow is a man, I think it just possible that he may find his attention disagreeably diverted from Miss Gwilt in the course of the evening.
“The girl noticed this morning that I looked pale and anxious. I trusted her enough to share that I was secretly engaged to be married and that I had enemies trying to separate me from my sweetheart. This immediately sparked her sympathy, and giving her a ten-shilling coin for her help sealed the deal. During her housework, she spent nearly the entire morning with me; I also learned that her sweetheart is a private soldier in the Guards and that she expects to see him tomorrow. I’ve got just enough money left to make any Private in the British army take notice; if the person assigned to watch me tomorrow is a man, I think it’s possible he might find his attention unpleasantly distracted from Miss Gwilt over the course of the evening.”
“When Midwinter came here last from the railway, he came at half-past eight. How am I to get through the weary, weary hours between this and the evening? I think I shall darken my bedroom, and drink the blessing of oblivion from my bottle of Drops.”
“When Midwinter arrived here last from the train, it was at 8:30. How am I supposed to get through the long, tiresome hours between now and the evening? I think I’ll darken my bedroom and drown my sorrows in my bottle of Drops.”
“Eleven o’clock.—We have parted for the last time before the day comes that makes us man and wife.
“Eleven o’clock.—We’ve said goodbye for the last time before the day that makes us husband and wife.
“He has left me, as he left me before, with an absorbing subject of interest to think of in his absence. I noticed a change in him the moment he entered the room. When he told me of the funeral, and of his parting with Armadale on board the yacht, though he spoke with feelings deeply moved, he spoke with a mastery over himself which is new to me in my experience of him. It was the same when our talk turned next on our own hopes and prospects. He was plainly disappointed when he found that my family embarrassments would prevent our meeting to-morrow, and plainly uneasy at the prospect of leaving me to find my way by myself on Monday to the church. But there was a certain hopefulness and composure of manner underlying it all, which produced so strong an impression on me that I was obliged to notice it.
"He has left me, just like he did before, with a compelling topic to think about while he's gone. I noticed a change in him as soon as he walked into the room. When he told me about the funeral and his farewell to Armadale on the yacht, even though he expressed deep emotion, he maintained a level of self-control that I hadn't seen from him before. It was the same when we shifted our conversation to our own hopes and plans. He was clearly let down when he realized my family's issues would stop us from meeting tomorrow, and he was obviously uneasy about leaving me to navigate my way to the church alone on Monday. But there was a certain sense of hope and calmness in his demeanor that struck me so forcefully that I couldn't help but notice it."
“‘You know what odd fancies take possession of me sometimes,’ I said. ‘Shall I tell you the fancy that has taken possession of me now? I can’t help thinking that something has happened since we last saw each other which you have not told me yet.
“‘You know what strange thoughts pop into my head sometimes,’ I said. ‘Should I share the thought that’s on my mind right now? I can’t shake the feeling that something has happened since we last met that you haven’t told me about yet.
“‘Something has happened,’ he answered. ‘And it is something which you ought to know.’
“‘Something has happened,’ he said. ‘And it’s something you should know.’”
“With those words he took out his pocket-book, and produced two written papers from it. One he looked at and put back. The other he placed on the table.
“With those words, he took out his wallet and pulled out two papers. He glanced at one and put it back. The other he set on the table.”
“‘Before I tell you what this is, and how it came into my possession,’ he said, ‘I must own something that I have concealed from you. It is no more serious confession than the confession of my own weakness.’
“‘Before I explain what this is and how I got it,’ he said, ‘I need to admit something that I’ve kept from you. It’s not a serious confession, just an acknowledgment of my own weakness.’”
“He then acknowledged to me that the renewal of his friendship with Armadale had been clouded, through the whole period of their intercourse in London, by his own superstitious misgivings. He had obeyed the summons which called him to the rector’s bedside, with the firm intention of confiding his previsions of coming trouble to Mr. Brock; and he had been doubly confirmed in his superstition when he found that Death had entered the house before him, and had parted them, in this world, forever. More than this, he had traveled back to be present at the funeral, with a secret sense of relief at the prospect of being parted from Armadale, and with a secret resolution to make the after-meeting agreed on between us three at Naples a meeting that should never take place. With that purpose in his heart, he had gone up alone to the room prepared for him on his arrival at the rectory, and had opened a letter which he found waiting for him on the table. The letter had only that day been discovered—dropped and lost—under the bed on which Mr. Brock had died. It was in the rector’s handwriting throughout; and the person to whom it was addressed was Midwinter himself.
“He then told me that the renewal of his friendship with Armadale had been overshadowed, throughout their time together in London, by his own superstitious doubts. He had responded to the call to the rector’s bedside, fully intending to share his fears of upcoming trouble with Mr. Brock; and he felt even more convinced of his superstition when he found that Death had arrived before him and had separated them, in this world, forever. Additionally, he had returned to attend the funeral with a hidden sense of relief at the thought of being distanced from Armadale, and with a secret plan to ensure that the meeting we had agreed upon between the three of us in Naples would never happen. With that intention in his heart, he had gone alone to the room that had been prepared for him upon his arrival at the rectory, and had opened a letter that was waiting for him on the table. The letter had only just that day been found—dropped and lost—under the bed where Mr. Brock had died. It was entirely written in the rector’s handwriting; and it was addressed to Midwinter himself.”
“Having told me this, nearly in the words in which I have written it, he gave me the written paper that lay on the table between us.
“After telling me this, almost in the exact words I've written, he handed me the paper that was sitting on the table between us.
“‘Read it,’ he said; ‘and you will not need to be told that my mind is at peace again, and that I took Allan’s hand at parting with a heart that was worthier of Allan’s love.’
“‘Read it,’ he said; ‘and you won’t need to be told that my mind is at peace again, and that I took Allan’s hand when we parted with a heart that deserved Allan’s love.’”
“I read the letter. There was no superstition to be conquered in my mind; there were no old feelings of gratitude toward Armadale to be roused in my heart; and yet, the effect which the letter had had on Midwinter was, I firmly believe, more than matched by the effect that the letter now produced on me.
“I read the letter. There was no superstition to overcome in my mind; there were no lingering feelings of gratitude toward Armadale to stir in my heart; and yet, I truly believe that the impact the letter had on Midwinter was more than matched by the effect it had on me now.
“It was vain to ask him to leave it, and to let me read it again (as I wished) when I was left by myself. He is determined to keep it side by side with that other paper which I had seen him take out of his pocket-book, and which contains the written narrative of Armadale’s Dream. All I could do was to ask his leave to copy it; and this he granted readily. I wrote the copy in his presence; and I now place it here in my diary, to mark a day which is one of the memorable days in my life.
“It was pointless to ask him to put it away and let me read it again (like I wanted) when I was alone. He was set on keeping it next to that other paper I had seen him pull out of his wallet, which has the written account of Armadale’s Dream. All I could do was ask for permission to copy it, which he agreed to without hesitation. I wrote the copy in front of him, and I’m now putting it here in my diary to mark a day that stands out as one of the memorable days in my life.”
“Boscombe Rectory, August 2d.
"Boscombe Rectory, August 2nd."
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—For the first time since the beginning of my illness, I found strength enough yesterday to look over my letters. One among them is a letter from Allan, which has been lying unopened on my table for ten days past. He writes to me in great distress, to say that there has been dissension between you, and that you have left him. If you still remember what passed between us, when you first opened your heart to me in the Isle of Man, you will be at no loss to understand how I have thought over this miserable news, through the night that has now passed, and you will not be surprised to hear that I have roused myself this morning to make the effort of writing to you.
“MY DEAR MIDWINTER—For the first time since my illness began, I found the strength yesterday to go through my letters. One of them is from Allan, which has been sitting unopened on my table for the last ten days. He writes to me in great distress, saying that there has been conflict between you and that you have left him. If you still remember what we discussed when you first opened up to me on the Isle of Man, you’ll understand how much I’ve been thinking about this terrible news throughout the night that has just passed, and you won’t be surprised to hear that I got myself together this morning to write to you.
“I want no explanation of the circumstances which have parted you from your friend. If my estimate of your character is not founded on an entire delusion, the one influence which can have led to your estrangement from Allan is the influence of that evil spirit of Superstition which I have once already cast out of your heart—which I will once again conquer, please God, if I have strength enough to make my pen speak my mind to you in this letter.
“I don’t need an explanation about what caused the rift between you and your friend. If my opinion of your character isn't completely off, the only thing that could have caused your distance from Allan is the negative influence of that evil spirit of Superstition, which I’ve already expelled from your heart once. I will conquer it again, with God’s help, if I have enough strength to express my thoughts to you in this letter.”
“It is no part of my design to combat the belief which I know you to hold, that mortal creatures may be the objects of supernatural intervention in their pilgrimage through this world. Speaking as a reasonable man, I own that I cannot prove you to be wrong. Speaking as a believer in the Bible, I am bound to go further, and to admit that you possess a higher than any human warrant for the faith that is in you. The one object which I have it at heart to attain is to induce you to free yourself from the paralyzing fatalism of the heathen and the savage, and to look at the mysteries that perplex, and the portents that daunt you, from the Christian’s point of view. If I can succeed in this, I shall clear your mind of the ghastly doubts that now oppress it, and I shall reunite you to your friend, never to be parted from him again.
“It’s not my intention to challenge your belief that mortal beings can be subject to supernatural intervention in their journey through this world. Speaking as a reasonable person, I admit that I can’t prove you wrong. Speaking as someone who believes in the Bible, I must also acknowledge that you have a greater justification for your faith than any human could offer. My main goal is to help you break free from the paralyzing fatalism of the heathen and the savage, and to view the mysteries that confuse you and the signs that scare you from a Christian perspective. If I can achieve this, I’ll free your mind from the dreadful doubts that currently burden it, and I will reunite you with your friend, so you’ll never be separated from him again.”
“I have no means of seeing and questioning you. I can only send this letter to Allan to be forwarded, if he knows, or can discover, your present address. Placed in this position toward you, I am bound to assume all that can be assumed in your favor. I will take it for granted that something has happened to you or to Allan which to your mind has not only confirmed the fatalist conviction in which your father died, but has added a new and terrible meaning to the warning which he sent you in his death-bed letter.
“I have no way to see or question you. I can only send this letter to Allan to be forwarded, if he knows or can find out your current address. Given this situation with you, I have to assume all that can be assumed in your favor. I will take it as a given that something has happened to you or to Allan that has not only reinforced the fatalistic belief your father held when he died but has also added a new and horrifying significance to the warning he sent you in his deathbed letter.”
“On this common ground I meet you. On this common ground I appeal to your higher nature and your better sense.
“On this shared ground, I connect with you. On this shared ground, I call upon your higher nature and greater sense.”
“Preserve your present conviction that the events which have happened (be they what they may) are not to be reconciled with ordinary mortal coincidences and ordinary mortal laws; and view your own position by the best and clearest light that your superstition can throw on it. What are you? You are a helpless instrument in the hands of Fate. You are doomed, beyond all human capacity of resistance, to bring misery and destruction blindfold on a man to whom you have harmlessly and gratefully united yourself in the bonds of a brother’s love. All that is morally firmest in your will and morally purest in your aspirations avails nothing against the hereditary impulsion of you toward evil, caused by a crime which your father committed before you were born. In what does that belief end? It ends in the darkness in which you are now lost; in the self-contradictions in which you are now bewildered; in the stubborn despair by which a man profanes his own soul, and lowers himself to the level of the brutes that perish.
“Keep your current belief that the events that have occurred (whatever they may be) can't be explained by ordinary chance or human laws; and see your own situation through the best and clearest perspective that your superstition allows. What are you? You are a powerless tool in the hands of Fate. You are fated, beyond any human ability to resist, to bring suffering and destruction blindly upon a man to whom you have innocently and gratefully bound yourself in the ties of brotherly love. All that is morally strongest in your will and morally purest in your hopes means nothing against the inherited urge you have toward evil, stemming from a crime your father committed before you were born. Where does that belief lead? It leads to the darkness you find yourself in now; to the contradictions that confuse you now; to the stubborn despair that leads a person to tarnish his own soul, bringing himself down to the level of the animals that perish.”
“Look up, my poor suffering brother—look up, my hardly tried, my well-loved friend, higher than this! Meet the doubts that now assail you from the blessed vantage-ground of Christian courage and Christian hope; and your heart will turn again to Allan, and your mind will be at peace. Happen what may, God is all-merciful, God is all-wise: natural or supernatural, it happens through Him. The mystery of Evil that perplexes our feeble minds, the sorrow and the suffering that torture us in this little life, leave the one great truth unshaken that the destiny of man is in the hands of his Creator, and that God’s blessed Son died to make us worthier of it. Nothing that is done in unquestioning submission to the wisdom of the Almighty is done wrong. No evil exists out of which, in obedience to his laws, Good may not come. Be true to what Christ tells you is true. Encourage in yourself, be the circumstances what they may, all that is loving, all that is grateful, all that is patient, all that is forgiving, toward your fellow-men. And humbly and trustfully leave the rest to the God who made you, and to the Saviour who loved you better than his own life.
“Look up, my dear suffering brother—lift your gaze, my tested, beloved friend, higher than this! Confront the doubts that now attack you from the blessed perspective of Christian courage and hope; and your heart will turn back to Allan, and your mind will find peace. No matter what happens, God is all-merciful and all-wise: natural or supernatural, it all unfolds through Him. The mystery of Evil that confounds our fragile minds, the sorrow and suffering that torment us in this brief life, do not shake the one great truth that humanity's destiny rests in the hands of our Creator, and that God’s blessed Son died to make us worthy of it. Nothing done in complete submission to the wisdom of the Almighty is wrong. No evil exists from which, by following His laws, Good cannot emerge. Stay true to what Christ tells you is true. Foster in yourself, regardless of the circumstances, all that is loving, all that is grateful, all that is patient, all that is forgiving, toward your fellow humans. And humbly and trustfully leave the rest to the God who made you, and to the Savior who loved you more than His own life.
“This is the faith in which I have lived, by the Divine help and mercy, from my youth upward. I ask you earnestly, I ask you confidently, to make it your faith, too. It is the mainspring of all the good I have ever done, of all the happiness I have ever known; it lightens my darkness, it sustains my hope; it comforts and quiets me, lying here, to live or die, I know not which. Let it sustain, comfort, and enlighten you. It will help you in your sorest need, as it has helped me in mine. It will show you another purpose in the events which brought you and Allan together than the purpose which your guilty father foresaw. Strange things, I do not deny it, have happened to you already. Stranger things still may happen before long, which I may not live to see. Remember, if that time comes, that I died firmly disbelieving in your influence over Allan being other than an influence for good. The great sacrifice of the Atonement—I say it reverently—has its mortal reflections, even in this world. If danger ever threatens Allan, you, whose father took his father’s life—YOU, and no other, may be the man whom the providence of God has appointed to save him.
“This is the faith I’ve lived by, with the help and mercy of the Divine, since my youth. I urge you sincerely, I urge you confidently, to make it your faith as well. It’s the source of all the good I’ve ever done and all the happiness I’ve ever known; it lightens my darkness and boosts my hope. It comforts and calms me while I lie here, uncertain if I’ll live or die. Let it support, comfort, and enlighten you. It will aid you in your greatest need, just as it has aided me in mine. It will reveal a different purpose in the events that brought you and Allan together than what your guilty father foresaw. Strange things, I won’t deny, have already happened to you. Even stranger things may happen soon, and I might not be around to witness them. Remember, if that time comes, that I died firmly believing your influence over Allan was nothing but good. The great sacrifice of the Atonement—I say this with respect—has its earthly reflections, even in this world. If danger ever threatens Allan, you, whose father took his father’s life—YOU, and no one else, might be the one God has chosen to save him.
“Come to me if I live. Go back to the friend who loves you, whether I live or die.
“Come to me if I'm still alive. Go back to the friend who loves you, whether I live or die.
“Yours affectionately to the last,
"Yours fondly until the end,"
“DECIMUS BROCK.”
"Decimus Brock."
“‘You, and no other, may be the man whom the providence of God has appointed to save him!’
“‘You, and no one else, might be the person that God’s plan has chosen to save him!’”
“Those are the words which have shaken me to the soul. Those are the words which make me feel as if the dead man had left his grave, and had put his hand on the place in my heart where my terrible secret lies hidden from every living creature but myself. One part of the letter has come true already. The danger that it foresees threatens Armadale at this moment—and threatens him from Me!
“Those are the words that have shaken me to my core. Those are the words that make it feel like the dead man has risen from his grave and placed his hand on the spot in my heart where my terrible secret is hidden from everyone but me. One part of the letter has already come true. The danger it predicts is currently threatening Armadale—and it's coming from me!
“If the favoring circumstances which have driven me thus far drive me on to the end, and if that old man’s last earthly conviction is prophetic of the truth, Armadale will escape me, do what I may. And Midwinter will be the victim who is sacrificed to save his life.
“If the supportive circumstances that have brought me this far continue to push me towards the end, and if that old man’s final belief is a sign of the truth, Armadale will elude me, no matter what I do. And Midwinter will be the one sacrificed to save his life.”
“It is horrible! it is impossible! it shall never be! At the thinking of it only, my hand trembles and my heart sinks. I bless the trembling that unnerves me! I bless the sinking that turns me faint! I bless those words in the letter which have revived the relenting thoughts that first came to me two days since! Is it hard, now that events are taking me, smoothly and safely, nearer and nearer to the End—is it hard to conquer the temptation to go on? No! If there is only a chance of harm coming to Midwinter, the dread of that chance is enough to decide me—enough to strengthen me to conquer the temptation, for his sake. I have never loved him yet, never, never, never as I love him now!”
“It's horrible! It's impossible! It can never happen! Just thinking about it makes my hand shake and my heart drop. I’m thankful for the trembling that makes me weak! I’m thankful for the sinking feeling that makes me feel faint! I’m grateful for those words in the letter that have brought back the conflicting thoughts I first had two days ago! Is it hard, now that events are leading me, smoothly and safely, closer to the End—is it hard to resist the temptation to continue? No! If there’s even a chance of harm coming to Midwinter, the fear of that possibility is enough to make my decision—enough to give me the strength to resist the temptation, for his sake. I’ve never loved him before, never, never, never like I love him now!”
“Sunday, August 10th.—The eve of my wedding-day! I close and lock this book, never to write in it, never to open it again.
“Sunday, August 10th.—The night before my wedding day! I close and lock this journal, never to write in it, never to open it again.
“I have won the great victory; I have trampled my own wickedness under foot. I am innocent; I am happy again. My love! my angel! when to-morrow gives me to you, I will not have a thought in my heart which is not your thought, as well as mine!”
“I have achieved a great victory; I have overcome my own wrongdoing. I am innocent; I am happy again. My love! my angel! when tomorrow brings you to me, I won’t have a thought in my heart that isn’t your thought, as well as mine!”
XV. THE WEDDING-DAY.
The time was nine o’clock in the morning. The place was a private room in one of the old-fashioned inns which still remain on the Borough side of the Thames. The date was Monday, the 11th of August. And the person was Mr. Bashwood, who had traveled to London on a summons from his son, and had taken up his abode at the inn on the previous day.
The time was nine o'clock in the morning. The place was a private room in one of the old-fashioned inns still found on the Borough side of the Thames. The date was Monday, August 11th. And the person was Mr. Bashwood, who had traveled to London at his son's request and had checked into the inn the day before.
He had never yet looked so pitiably old and helpless as he looked now. The fever and chill of alternating hope and despair had dried, and withered, and wasted him. The angles of his figure had sharpened. The outline of his face had shrunk. His dress pointed the melancholy change in him with a merciless and shocking emphasis. Never, even in his youth, had he worn such clothes as he wore now. With the desperate resolution to leave no chance untried of producing an impression on Miss Gwilt, he had cast aside his dreary black garments; he had even mustered the courage to wear his blue satin cravat. His coat was a riding-coat of light gray. He had ordered it, with a vindictive subtlety of purpose, to be made on the pattern of a coat that he had seen Allan wear. His waistcoat was white; his trousers were of the gayest summer pattern, in the largest check. His wig was oiled and scented, and brushed round, on either side, to hide the wrinkles on his temples. He was an object to laugh at; he was an object to weep over. His enemies, if a creature so wretched could have had enemies, would have forgiven him, on seeing him in his new dress. His friends—had any of his friends been left—would have been less distressed if they had looked at him in his coffin than if they had looked at him as he was now. Incessantly restless, he paced the room from end to end. Now he looked at his watch; now he looked out of the window; now he looked at the well-furnished breakfast-table—always with the same wistful, uneasy inquiry in his eyes. The waiter coming in, with the urn of boiling water, was addressed for the fiftieth time in the one form of words which the miserable creature seemed to be capable of uttering that morning: “My son is coming to breakfast. My son is very particular. I want everything of the best—hot things and cold things—and tea and coffee—and all the rest of it, waiter; all the rest of it.” For the fiftieth time, he now reiterated those anxious words. For the fiftieth time, the impenetrable waiter had just returned his one pacifying answer, “All right, sir; you may leave it to me”—when the sound of leisurely footsteps was heard on the stairs; the door opened; and the long-expected son sauntered indolently into the room, with a neat little black leather bag in his hand.
He had never looked so old and helpless as he did now. The fever and chill of going back and forth between hope and despair had drained and weakened him. His body had sharpened, and the outline of his face had shrunk. His clothes highlighted the sad change in him with harsh and shocking emphasis. Never, even in his youth, had he worn outfits like this. Determined to make an impression on Miss Gwilt, he had set aside his dreary black attire; he had even found the nerve to wear his blue satin cravat. His coat was a light gray riding coat. He had ordered it, with a spiteful intention, to be made in the style of a coat he had seen Allan wear. His waistcoat was white, and his trousers were in the brightest summer pattern, with the largest checks. His wig was oiled and scented, styled to cover the wrinkles on his temples. He was someone to laugh at and to feel sorry for. His foes, if such a wretched person could have any, would have felt pity on seeing him dressed like this. His friends—if any of them were still around—would have felt less disturbed looking at him in his coffin than at the sight of him now. Restlessly, he paced the room from end to end. He checked his watch, looked out the window, stared at the well-set breakfast table—always with the same anxious, uneasy look in his eyes. When the waiter entered with the urn of boiling water, he asked for the fiftieth time using the same words that seemed to be all he could say that morning: “My son is coming to breakfast. My son is very particular. I want everything to be the best—hot things and cold things—and tea and coffee—and all the rest of it, waiter; all the rest of it.” For the fiftieth time, he repeated those worried words. For the fiftieth time, the unyielding waiter offered his usual calming response, “All right, sir; you may leave it to me”—just as the sound of slow footsteps echoed on the stairs; the door opened; and the long-awaited son strolled casually into the room, holding a neat little black leather bag.
“Well done, old gentleman!” said Bashwood the younger, surveying his father’s dress with a smile of sardonic encouragement. “You’re ready to be married to Miss Gwilt at a moment’s notice!”
“Well done, old man!” said Bashwood the younger, looking over his father’s outfit with a smirk of ironic support. “You’re all set to marry Miss Gwilt at a moment’s notice!”
The father took the son’s hand, and tried to echo the son’s laugh.
The father grabbed his son’s hand and tried to mimic his laugh.
“You have such good spirits, Jemmy,” he said, using the name in its familiar form, as he had been accustomed to use it in happier days. “You always had good spirits, my dear, from a child. Come and sit down; I’ve ordered you a nice breakfast. Everything of the best! everything of the best! What a relief it is to see you! Oh, dear, dear, what a relief it is to see you.” He stopped and sat down at the table, his face flushed with the effort to control the impatience that was devouring him. “Tell me about her!” he burst out, giving up the effort with a sudden self-abandonment. “I shall die, Jemmy, if I wait for it any longer. Tell me! tell me! tell me!”
“You're in such a good mood, Jemmy,” he said, using the name in its familiar way, as he used to in happier times. “You always had a great spirit, my dear, since you were a child. Come and sit down; I’ve ordered you a nice breakfast. Everything’s top-notch! Everything’s top-notch! What a relief it is to see you! Oh, dear, what a relief it is to see you.” He paused and sat down at the table, his face flushed with the effort to control the impatience that was eating away at him. “Tell me about her!” he exclaimed, giving up on restraint in a sudden moment of vulnerability. “I’ll die, Jemmy, if I have to wait any longer. Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!”
“One thing at a time,” said Bashwood the younger, perfectly unmoved by his father’s impatience. “We’ll try the breakfast first, and come to the lady afterward! Gently does it, old gentleman—gently does it!”
“One thing at a time,” said Bashwood the younger, completely unfazed by his father’s impatience. “Let’s focus on breakfast first, and we’ll get to the lady afterward! Take it easy, old man—take it easy!”
He put his leather bag on a chair, and sat down opposite to his father, composed, and smiling, and humming a little tune.
He placed his leather bag on a chair and sat down across from his father, calm, smiling, and humming a little tune.
No ordinary observation, applying the ordinary rules of analysis, would have detected the character of Bashwood the younger in his face. His youthful look, aided by his light hair and his plump beardless cheeks, his easy manner and his ever-ready smile, his eyes which met unshrinkingly the eyes of every one whom he addressed, all combined to make the impression of him a favorable impression in the general mind. No eye for reading character, but such an eye as belongs to one person, perhaps, in ten thousand, could have penetrated the smoothly deceptive surface of this man, and have seen him for what he really was—the vile creature whom the viler need of Society has fashioned for its own use. There he sat—the Confidential Spy of modern times, whose business is steadily enlarging, whose Private Inquiry Offices are steadily on the increase. There he sat—the necessary Detective attendant on the progress of our national civilization; a man who was, in this instance at least, the legitimate and intelligible product of the vocation that employed him; a man professionally ready on the merest suspicion (if the merest suspicion paid him) to get under our beds, and to look through gimlet-holes in our doors; a man who would have been useless to his employers if he could have felt a touch of human sympathy in his father’s presence; and who would have deservedly forfeited his situation if, under any circumstances whatever, he had been personally accessible to a sense of pity or a sense of shame.
No ordinary observation, using typical analysis, would have revealed the true character of Bashwood the younger just by looking at his face. His youthful appearance, enhanced by his light hair and chubby, hairless cheeks, his relaxed demeanor, and his ever-present smile, along with his eyes that met the gaze of anyone he spoke to without flinching, all combined to create a generally favorable impression of him. Only someone with an extraordinary ability to read character—perhaps one in ten thousand—could have seen through the smooth but deceptive exterior of this man and recognized him for what he truly was—the despicable being crafted by the more despicable demands of society for its own use. There he sat—the modern-day Confidential Spy, whose role is constantly expanding, and whose Private Inquiry Offices are on the rise. There he sat—the essential Detective accompanying our nation’s progress; a man who, at least in this case, was a legitimate and understandable outcome of the job he held; a man professionally ready, at the slightest hint (as long as it paid him), to crawl under our beds and peek through small holes in our doors; a man who would have been useless to his bosses if he had felt any trace of human sympathy in his father’s presence; and who would have rightfully lost his job if, under any circumstances, he had been able to feel pity or shame.
“Gently does it, old gentleman,” he repeated, lifting the covers from the dishes, and looking under them one after the other all round the table. “Gently does it!”
“Take it easy, old man,” he repeated, lifting the covers off the dishes and checking under them one by one all around the table. “Take it easy!”
“Don’t be angry with me, Jemmy,” pleaded his father. “Try, if you can, to think how anxious I must be. I got your letter so long ago as yesterday morning. I have had to travel all the way from Thorpe Ambrose—I have had to get through the dreadful long evening and the dreadful long night—with your letter telling me that you had found out who she is, and telling me nothing more. Suspense is very hard to bear, Jemmy, when you come to my age. What was it prevented you, my dear, from coming to me when I got here yesterday evening?”
“Don’t be mad at me, Jemmy,” his father begged. “Try to consider how worried I must be. I received your letter just yesterday morning. I had to travel all the way from Thorpe Ambrose—I had to get through the long and terrible evening and the long and terrible night with your letter telling me that you discovered who she is, and nothing else. Suspense is really tough to deal with, Jemmy, especially at my age. What stopped you, my dear, from coming to me when I arrived yesterday evening?”
“A little dinner at Richmond,” said Bashwood the younger. “Give me some tea.”
“A little dinner at Richmond,” said Bashwood the younger. “Can I have some tea?”
Mr. Bashwood tried to comply with the request; but the hand with which he lifted the teapot trembled so unmanageably that the tea missed the cup and streamed out on the cloth. “I’m very sorry; I can’t help trembling when I’m anxious,” said the old man, as his son took the tea-pot out of his hand. “I’m afraid you bear me malice, Jemmy, for what happened when I was last in town. I own I was obstinate and unreasonable about going back to Thorpe Ambrose. I’m more sensible now. You were quite right in taking it all on yourself, as soon as I showed you the veiled lady when we saw her come out of the hotel; and you were quite right to send me back the same day to my business in the steward’s office at the Great House.” He watched the effect of these concessions on his son, and ventured doubtfully on another entreaty. “If you won’t tell me anything else just yet,” he said, faintly, “will you tell me how you found her out. Do, Jemmy, do!”
Mr. Bashwood tried to follow the request, but the hand he used to lift the teapot shook so badly that the tea spilled all over the cloth. “I’m really sorry; I can’t help trembling when I’m anxious,” the old man said, as his son took the teapot from him. “I’m worried you hold a grudge against me, Jemmy, for what happened the last time I was in town. I admit I was stubborn and unreasonable about returning to Thorpe Ambrose. I see things more clearly now. You were completely right to take charge as soon as I showed you the veiled lady when we saw her leave the hotel; and you were also right to send me back that same day to my work in the steward’s office at the Great House.” He observed how these admissions affected his son and hesitantly made another request. “If you won’t tell me anything else just yet,” he said softly, “could you please tell me how you figured it out? Please, Jemmy, please!”
Bashwood the younger looked up from his plate. “I’ll tell you that,” he said. “The reckoning up of Miss Gwilt has cost more money and taken more time than I expected; and the sooner we come to a settlement about it, the sooner we shall get to what you want to know.”
Bashwood the younger looked up from his plate. “I’ll tell you this,” he said. “Figuring out the situation with Miss Gwilt has cost more money and taken more time than I anticipated; and the sooner we settle this, the sooner we can get to what you want to know.”
Without a word of expostulation, the father laid his dingy old pocket-book and his purse on the table before the son. Bashwood the younger looked into the purse; observed, with a contemptuous elevation of the eyebrows, that it held no more than a sovereign and some silver; and returned it intact. The pocket-book, on being opened next, proved to contain four five-pound notes. Bashwood the younger transferred three of the notes to his own keeping; and handed the pocket-book back to his father, with a bow expressive of mock gratitude and sarcastic respect.
Without saying a word, the father placed his dirty old wallet and his purse on the table in front of his son. Bashwood the younger examined the purse, noticed with a scornful lift of his eyebrows that it held only a pound and some change, and gave it back untouched. When he opened the wallet next, he found four five-pound notes inside. Bashwood the younger took three of the notes for himself and returned the wallet to his father, bowing with a look that mixed fake gratitude and sarcastic respect.
“A thousand thanks,” he said. “Some of it is for the people at our office, and the balance is for myself. One of the few stupid things, my dear sir, that I have done in the course of my life was to write you word, when you first consulted me, that you might have my services gratis. As you see, I hasten to repair the error. An hour or two at odd times I was ready enough to give you. But this business has taken days, and has got in the way of other jobs. I told you I couldn’t be out of pocket by you—I put it in my letter, as plain as words could say it.”
"Thank you so much," he said. "Some of this is for the people at our office, and the rest is for me. One of the few foolish things I've done in my life, my dear sir, was to tell you when you first consulted me that you could have my help for free. As you can see, I'm quickly trying to fix that mistake. I was fine giving you an hour or two now and then. But this job has taken days and has interfered with other work. I told you I couldn’t afford to take a loss with you—I stated it in my letter as clearly as I could."
“Yes, yes, Jemmy. I don’t complain, my dear, I don’t complain. Never mind the money—tell me how you found her out.”
“Yes, yes, Jemmy. I’m not complaining, my dear, I’m not complaining. Forget about the money—just tell me how you discovered her.”
“Besides,” pursued Bashwood, the younger, proceeding impenetrably with his justification of himself, “I have given you the benefit of my experience; I’ve done it cheap. It would have cost double the money if another man had taken this in hand. Another man would have kept a watch on Mr. Armadale as well as Miss Gwilt. I have saved you that expense. You are certain that Mr. Armadale is bent on marrying her. Very good. In that case, while we have our eye on her, we have, for all useful purposes, got our eye on him. Know where the lady is, and you know that the gentleman can’t be far off.”
“Besides,” continued Bashwood, the younger, proceeding confidently with his self-justification, “I’ve given you the advantage of my experience; I’ve done it for a low price. It would have cost twice as much if someone else had handled this. Another person would have kept an eye on Mr. Armadale as well as Miss Gwilt. I’ve saved you that expense. You’re sure that Mr. Armadale is determined to marry her. That’s fine. In that case, while we’re watching her, we’re also effectively keeping an eye on him. If you know where the lady is, you know the gentleman can’t be far away.”
“Quite true, Jemmy. But how was it Miss Gwilt came to give you so much trouble?”
“That's right, Jemmy. But why did Miss Gwilt end up causing you so much trouble?”
“She’s a devilish clever woman,” said Bashwood the younger; “that’s how it was. She gave us the slip at a milliner’s shop. We made it all right with the milliner, and speculated on the chance of her coming back to try on a gown she had ordered. The cleverest women lose the use of their wits in nine cases out of ten where there’s a new dress in the case, and even Miss Gwilt was rash enough to go back. That was all we wanted. One of the women from our office helped to try on her new gown, and put her in the right position to be seen by one of our men behind the door. He instantly suspected who she was, on the strength of what he had been told of her; for she’s a famous woman in her way. Of course, we didn’t trust to that. We traced her to her new address; and we got a man from Scotland Yard, who was certain to know her, if our own man’s idea was the right one. The man from Scotland Yard turned milliner’s lad for the occasion, and took her gown home. He saw her in the passage, and identified her in an instant. You’re in luck, I can tell you. Miss Gwilt’s a public character. If we had had a less notorious woman to deal with, she might have cost us weeks of inquiry, and you might have had to pay hundreds of pounds. A day did it in Miss Gwilt’s case; and another day put the whole story of her life, in black and white, into my hand. There it is at the present moment, old gentleman, in my black bag.”
“She’s a really clever woman,” said Bashwood the younger. “That’s how it went down. She slipped away from us at a milliner’s shop. We sorted things out with the milliner and speculated on the chance of her coming back to try on a dress she had ordered. The smartest women often lose their common sense nine times out of ten when there's a new dress involved, and even Miss Gwilt was bold enough to return. That was all we needed. One of the women from our office helped her try on the new gown and positioned her so that one of our guys could see her from behind the door. He immediately suspected who she was based on what he’d heard about her; she’s well-known in her own way. Naturally, we didn’t rely solely on that. We tracked her to her new address and got a guy from Scotland Yard who was sure to recognize her if our own man's idea was correct. The man from Scotland Yard went undercover as a milliner’s assistant and took her gown home. He saw her in the hallway and recognized her right away. You’re lucky, I can tell you. Miss Gwilt’s a public figure. If we’d been dealing with a less notorious woman, it could have taken us weeks to find her, and you might have had to spend hundreds of pounds. We figured it out in a day with Miss Gwilt, and another day gave me the entire story of her life, in writing. There it is right now, old gentleman, in my black bag.”
Bashwood the father made straight for the bag with eager eyes and outstretched hand. Bashwood the son took a little key out of his waistcoat pocket, winked, shook his head, and put the key back again.
Bashwood the father went straight for the bag with eager eyes and an outstretched hand. Bashwood the son took a small key out of his waistcoat pocket, winked, shook his head, and put the key back.
“I haven’t done breakfast yet,” he said. “Gently does it, my dear sir—gently does it.”
“I haven’t had breakfast yet,” he said. “Take it easy, my dear sir—take it easy.”
“I can’t wait!” cried the old man, struggling vainly to preserve his self-control. “It’s past nine! It’s a fortnight to-day since she went to London with Mr. Armadale! She may be married to him in a fortnight! She may be married to him this morning! I can’t wait! I can’t wait!”
“I can’t wait!” shouted the old man, desperately trying to keep his composure. “It’s past nine! It’s been two weeks today since she left for London with Mr. Armadale! She could be married to him in two weeks! She might even be married to him this morning! I can’t wait! I can’t wait!”
“There’s no knowing what you can do till you try,” rejoined Bashwood the younger. “Try, and you’ll find you can wait. What has become of your curiosity?” he went on, feeding the fire ingeniously with a stick at a time. “Why don’t you ask me what I mean by calling Miss Gwilt a public character? Why don’t you wonder how I came to lay my hand on the story of her life, in black and white? If you’ll sit down again, I’ll tell you. If you won’t, I shall confine myself to my breakfast.”
“There’s no way to know what you can do until you try,” replied Bashwood the younger. “Try, and you’ll see that you can wait. What happened to your curiosity?” he continued, cleverly feeding the fire stick by stick. “Why don’t you ask me what I mean by calling Miss Gwilt a public figure? Why aren’t you curious about how I managed to get the story of her life, in black and white? If you sit down again, I’ll tell you. If not, I’ll just focus on my breakfast.”
Mr. Bashwood sighed heavily, and went back to his chair.
Mr. Bashwood let out a deep sigh and returned to his chair.
“I wish you were not so fond of your joke, Jemmy,” he said. “I wish, my dear, you were not quite so fond of your joke.”
“I wish you weren’t so attached to your joke, Jemmy,” he said. “I wish, my dear, you weren’t quite so attached to your joke.”
“Joke?” repeated his son. “It would be serious enough in some people’s eyes, I can tell you. Miss Gwilt has been tried for her life; and the papers in that black bag are the lawyer’s instructions for the Defense. Do you call that a joke?”
“Joke?” repeated his son. “It would be serious enough in some people’s eyes, I can tell you. Miss Gwilt has been tried for her life; and the papers in that black bag are the lawyer’s instructions for the Defense. Do you call that a joke?”
The father started to his feet, and looked straight across the table at the son with a smile of exultation that was terrible to see.
The father jumped to his feet and looked directly across the table at his son with a triumphant smile that was unsettling to witness.
“She’s been tried for her life!” he burst out, with a deep gasp of satisfaction. “She’s been tried for her life!” He broke into a low, prolonged laugh, and snapped his fingers exultingly. “Aha-ha-ha! Something to frighten Mr. Armadale in that!”
“She’s been tried for her life!” he exclaimed, gasping with satisfaction. “She’s been tried for her life!” He erupted into a low, long laugh and snapped his fingers triumphantly. “Aha-ha-ha! Something to scare Mr. Armadale with that!”
Scoundrel as he was, the son was daunted by the explosion of pent-up passion which burst on him in those words.
Scoundrel that he was, the son was overwhelmed by the sudden outburst of pent-up emotion expressed in those words.
“Don’t excite yourself,” he said, with a sullen suppression of the mocking manner in which he had spoken thus far.
“Don’t get worked up,” he said, with a gloomy restraint of the teasing tone he had used until now.
Mr. Bashwood sat down again, and passed his handkerchief over his forehead. “No,” he said, nodding and smiling at his son. “No, no—no excitement, as you say—I can wait now, Jemmy; I can wait now.”
Mr. Bashwood sat down again and wiped his forehead with his handkerchief. “No,” he said, nodding and smiling at his son. “No, no—no excitement, like you said—I can wait now, Jemmy; I can wait now.”
He waited with immovable patience. At intervals, he nodded, and smiled, and whispered to himself, “Something to frighten Mr. Armadale in that!” But he made no further attempt, by word, look, or action, to hurry his son.
He waited with unyielding patience. Occasionally, he nodded, smiled, and whispered to himself, “Something to scare Mr. Armadale in that!” But he didn't make any further effort, through words, looks, or actions, to rush his son.
Bashwood the younger finished his breakfast slowly, out of pure bravado; lit a cigar with the utmost deliberation; looked at his father, and, seeing him still as immovably patient as ever, opened the black bag at last, and spread the papers on the table.
Bashwood the younger finished his breakfast slowly, just for show; lit a cigar with careful intention; looked at his father, and seeing him still as patiently unmoving as ever, finally opened the black bag and spread the papers on the table.
“How will you have it?” he asked. “Long or short? I have got her whole life here. The counsel who defended her at the trial was instructed to hammer hard at the sympathies of the jury: he went head over ears into the miseries of her past career, and shocked everybody in court in the most workman-like manner. Shall I take the same line? Do you want to know all about her, from the time when she was in short frocks and frilled trousers? or do you prefer getting on at once to her first appearance as a prisoner in the dock?”
“Which version do you want?” he asked. “A long story or a short one? I have her entire history right here. The lawyer who defended her during the trial was told to really play on the jury's emotions: he dove deep into the hardships of her past and stunned everyone in the courtroom in a very professional way. Should I do the same? Do you want to hear all about her, starting from when she was in little dresses and frilly pants? Or would you rather jump straight to her first day as a prisoner in the dock?”
“I want to know all about her,” said his father, eagerly. “The worst, and the best—the worst particularly. Don’t spare my feelings, Jemmy—whatever you do, don’t spare my feelings! Can’t I look at the papers myself?”
“I want to know everything about her,” his father said eagerly. “The worst and the best—the worst especially. Don’t hold back, Jemmy—whatever you do, don’t hold back! Can’t I check the papers myself?”
“No, you can’t. They would be all Greek and Hebrew to you. Thank your stars that you have got a sharp son, who can take the pith out of these papers, and give it a smack of the right flavor in serving it up. There are not ten men in England who could tell you this woman’s story as I can tell it. It’s a gift, old gentleman, of the sort that is given to very few people—and it lodges here.”
“No, you can’t. It would all be like Greek and Hebrew to you. Thank your lucky stars that you have a smart son who can break down these papers and serve them up in the right way. There aren’t ten men in England who could tell you this woman’s story like I can. It’s a rare gift, my friend, one that’s given to very few people—and it’s right here.”
He tapped his forehead smartly, and turned to the first page of the manuscript before him, with an unconcealed triumph at the prospect of exhibiting his own cleverness, which was the first expression of a genuine feeling of any sort that had escaped him yet.
He smartly tapped his forehead and turned to the first page of the manuscript in front of him, feeling a clear sense of triumph at the idea of showcasing his own cleverness, which was the first real expression of any genuine emotion he had shown so far.
“Miss Gwilt’s story begins,” said Bashwood the younger, “in the market-place at Thorpe Ambrose. One day, something like a quarter of a century ago, a traveling quack doctor, who dealt in perfumery as well as medicines, came to the town with his cart, and exhibited, as a living example of the excellence of his washes and hair-oils and so on, a pretty little girl, with a beautiful complexion and wonderful hair. His name was Oldershaw. He had a wife, who helped him in the perfumery part of his business, and who carried it on by herself after his death. She has risen in the world of late years; and she is identical with that sly old lady who employed me professionally a short time since. As for the pretty little girl, you know who she was as well as I do. While the quack was haranguing the mob and showing them the child’s hair, a young lady, driving through the marketplace, stopped her carriage to hear what it was all about, saw the little girl, and took a violent fancy to her on the spot. The young lady was the daughter of Mr. Blanchard, of Thorpe Ambrose. She went home, and interested her father in the fate of the innocent little victim of the quack doctor. The same evening, the Oldershaws were sent for to the great house and were questioned. They declared themselves to be her uncle and aunt—a lie, of course!—and they were quite willing to let her attend the village school, while they stayed at Thorpe Ambrose, when the proposal was made to them. The new arrangement was carried out the next day. And the day after that, the Oldershaws had disappeared, and had left the little girl on the squire’s hands! She evidently hadn’t answered as they expected in the capacity of an advertisement, and that was the way they took of providing for her for life. There is the first act of the play for you! Clear enough, so far, isn’t it?”
“Miss Gwilt’s story begins,” said Bashwood the younger, “in the marketplace at Thorpe Ambrose. One day, about twenty-five years ago, a traveling con artist, who sold both perfumes and medicines, came to town with his cart and showcased, as proof of the quality of his washes and hair oils and so on, a pretty little girl with a beautiful complexion and amazing hair. His name was Oldershaw. He had a wife who assisted him in the perfume side of his business and continued it on her own after he died. She has done well for herself in recent years and is the same cunning old lady who hired me professionally just a short time ago. As for the pretty little girl, you know who she was as well as I do. While the quack was rallying the crowd and showing off the child’s hair, a young lady driving through the marketplace stopped her carriage to see what was going on, noticed the little girl, and instantly took a liking to her. The young lady was the daughter of Mr. Blanchard from Thorpe Ambrose. She went home and got her father interested in the fate of the innocent little victim of the con artist. That same evening, the Oldershaws were summoned to the big house and questioned. They claimed to be her uncle and aunt—a lie, of course!—and they were more than happy to let her go to the village school while they stayed in Thorpe Ambrose when that suggestion was made. The new arrangement was set in motion the next day. And the day after that, the Oldershaws had vanished, leaving the little girl in the squire’s care! It was clear she hadn’t performed as they had hoped as an advertisement, and that was their way of providing for her for life. There’s the first act of the play for you! Clear enough so far, isn’t it?”
“Clear enough, Jemmy, to clever people. But I’m old and slow. I don’t understand one thing. Whose child was she?”
“Clear enough, Jemmy, for smart people. But I’m old and slow. I don’t understand one thing. Whose child was she?”
“A very sensible question. Sorry to inform you that nobody can answer it—Miss Gwilt herself included. These Instructions that I’m referring to are founded, of course, on her own statements, sifted by her attorney. All she could remember, on being questioned, was that she was beaten and half starved, somewhere in the country, by a woman who took in children at nurse. The woman had a card with her, stating that her name was Lydia Gwilt, and got a yearly allowance for taking care of her (paid through a lawyer) till she was eight years old. At that time, the allowance stopped; the lawyer had no explanation to offer; nobody came to look after her; nobody wrote. The Oldershaws saw her, and thought she might answer to exhibit; and the woman parted with her for a trifle to the Oldershaws; and the Oldershaws parted with her for good and all to the Blanchards. That’s the story of her birth, parentage, and education! She may be the daughter of a duke, or the daughter of a costermonger. The circumstances may be highly romantic, or utterly commonplace. Fancy anything you like—there’s nothing to stop you. When you’ve had your fancy out, say the word, and I’ll turn over the leaves and go on.”
“A very reasonable question. I’m sorry to say that no one can answer it—not even Miss Gwilt herself. The instructions I’m talking about are based on her own statements, filtered through her attorney. All she could remember when asked was that she was beaten and barely fed, somewhere in the countryside, by a woman who took in children to care for. This woman had a card with her, claiming her name was Lydia Gwilt, and she received a yearly payment for looking after her (paid through a lawyer) until she turned eight. At that point, the payment stopped; the lawyer had no explanation; no one came to check on her; no one wrote. The Oldershaws saw her and thought she might be useful for display; the woman let her go for a small amount to the Oldershaws; and then the Oldershaws gave her up permanently to the Blanchards. That’s the story of her birth, parentage, and upbringing! She could be the daughter of a duke or the daughter of a street vendor. The details could be incredibly dramatic or completely ordinary. Imagine whatever you like—there’s nothing stopping you. When you’ve finished your imagining, just say the word, and I’ll turn the pages and continue.”
“Please to go on, Jemmy—please to go on.”
"Keep going, Jemmy—keep going."
“The next glimpse of Miss Gwilt,” resumed Bashwood the younger, turning over the papers, “is a glimpse at a family mystery. The deserted child was in luck’s way at last. She had taken the fancy of an amiable young lady with a rich father, and she was petted and made much of at the great house, in the character of Miss Blanchard’s last new plaything. Not long afterward Mr. Blanchard and his daughter went abroad, and took the girl with them in the capacity of Miss Blanchard’s little maid. When they came back, the daughter had married, and become a widow, in the interval; and the pretty little maid, instead of returning with them to Thorpe Ambrose, turns up suddenly, all alone, as a pupil at a school in France. There she was, at a first-rate establishment, with her maintenance and education secured until she married and settled in life, on this understanding—that she never returned to England. Those were all the particulars she could be prevailed on to give the lawyer who drew up these instructions. She declined to say what had happened abroad; she declined even, after all the years that had passed, to mention her mistress’s married name. It’s quite clear, of course, that she was in possession of some family secret; and that the Blanchards paid for her schooling on the Continent to keep her out of the way. And it’s equally plain that she would never have kept her secret as she did if she had not seen her way to trading on it for her own advantage at some future time. A clever woman, as I’ve told you already! A devilish clever woman, who hasn’t been knocked about in the world, and seen the ups and downs of life abroad and at home, for nothing.”
“The next sighting of Miss Gwilt,” continued Bashwood the younger, flipping through the papers, “is a look at a family mystery. The abandoned child finally caught a break. She attracted the attention of a kind young woman with a wealthy father, and she was spoiled and adored at the large house, as Miss Blanchard’s latest little pet. Shortly after, Mr. Blanchard and his daughter traveled abroad and took the girl with them as Miss Blanchard’s little maid. When they returned, the daughter had married and become a widow in the meantime; and the pretty little maid, instead of coming back with them to Thorpe Ambrose, suddenly appeared all alone as a student at a school in France. There she was, at a top-notch establishment, with her living expenses and education covered until she got married and settled down, on the condition that she never returned to England. Those were all the details she could be persuaded to share with the lawyer who drafted these instructions. She refused to say what had happened abroad; she even refused, after all these years, to mention her mistress’s married name. It’s quite clear, of course, that she was holding onto some family secret; and that the Blanchards paid for her schooling on the continent to keep her out of sight. And it’s equally obvious that she wouldn’t have kept her secret as she did if she hadn’t planned to use it for her own benefit at some point in the future. A smart woman, as I’ve already told you! A incredibly clever woman who hasn’t gone through life’s ups and downs, both abroad and at home, for nothing.”
“Yes, yes, Jemmy; quite true. How long did she stop, please, at the school in France?”
“Yes, yes, Jemmy; that’s right. How long did she stay at the school in France?”
Bashwood the younger referred to the papers. “She stopped at the French school,” he replied, “till she was seventeen. At that time something happened at the school which I find mildly described in these papers as ‘something unpleasant.’ The plain fact was that the music-master attached to the establishment fell in love with Miss Gwilt. He was a respectable middle-aged man, with a wife and family; and, finding the circumstances entirely hopeless, he took a pistol, and, rashly assuming that he had brains in his head, tried to blow them out. The doctor saved his life, but not his reason; he ended, where he had better have begun, in an asylum. Miss Gwilt’s beauty having been at the bottom of the scandal, it was, of course, impossible—though she was proved to have been otherwise quite blameless in the matter—for her to remain at the school after what had happened. Her ‘friends’ (the Blanchards) were communicated with. And her friends transferred her to another school; at Brussels, this time—What are you sighing about? What’s wrong now?”
Bashwood the younger looked at the documents. “She stayed at the French school,” he said, “until she was seventeen. At that point, something happened at the school that these papers describe vaguely as ‘something unpleasant.’ The truth is, the music teacher there fell in love with Miss Gwilt. He was a respectable middle-aged man, married with kids; and, realizing there was no hope for him, he took a gun and, foolishly thinking he could end his life, tried to shoot himself. The doctor was able to save him, but not his sanity; he ended up in an asylum, which is where he should have started. Because Miss Gwilt's beauty was at the center of the scandal, it was impossible for her to stay at the school after what happened—even though she was proven to be completely innocent in the situation. Her ‘friends’ (the Blanchards) were contacted. And they moved her to another school; this time in Brussels—What are you sighing about? What’s wrong now?”
“I can’t help feeling a little for the poor music-master, Jemmy. Go on.”
“I can’t help but feel a bit sorry for the poor music teacher, Jemmy. Go ahead.”
“According to her own account of it, dad, Miss Gwilt seems to have felt for him too. She took a serious turn; and was ‘converted’ (as they call it) by the lady who had charge of her in the interval before she went to Brussels. The priest at the Belgium school appears to have been a man of some discretion, and to have seen that the girl’s sensibilities were getting into a dangerously excited state. Before he could quiet her down, he fell ill, and was succeeded by another priest, who was a fanatic. You will understand the sort of interest he took in the girl, and the way in which he worked on her feelings, when I tell you that she announced it as her decision, after having been nearly two years at the school, to end her days in a convent! You may well stare! Miss Gwilt, in the character of a Nun, is the sort of female phenomenon you don’t often set eyes on.”
“Based on her own story, dad, Miss Gwilt seems to have had feelings for him too. She became serious and was ‘converted’ (as it’s called) by the lady who took care of her before she went to Brussels. The priest at the school in Belgium seemed to be a reasonable man and realized that the girl’s emotions were becoming dangerously heightened. Before he could calm her down, he got sick and was replaced by another priest, who was a fanatic. You’ll understand the kind of interest he had in the girl and how he influenced her feelings when I tell you that after being at the school for almost two years, she decided to spend her life in a convent! You can’t help but be surprised! Miss Gwilt, as a Nun, is the kind of woman you don’t often come across.”
“Did she go into the convent?” asked Mr. Bashwood. “Did they let her go in, so friendless and so young, with nobody to advise her for the best?”
“Did she join the convent?” asked Mr. Bashwood. “Did they allow her to go in, all alone and so young, without anyone to guide her in the right direction?”
“The Blanchards were consulted, as a matter of form,” pursued Bashwood the younger. “They had no objection to her shutting herself up in a convent, as you may well imagine. The pleasantest letter they ever had from her, I’ll answer for it, was the letter in which she solemnly took leave of them in this world forever. The people at the convent were as careful as usual not to commit themselves. Their rules wouldn’t allow her to take the veil till she had tried the life for a year first, and then, if she had any doubt, for another year after that. She tried the life for the first year, accordingly, and doubted. She tried it for the second year, and was wise enough, by that time, to give it up without further hesitation. Her position was rather an awkward one when she found herself at liberty again. The sisters at the convent had lost their interest in her; the mistress at the school declined to take her back as teacher, on the ground that she was too nice-looking for the place; the priest considered her to be possessed by the devil. There was nothing for it but to write to the Blanchards again, and ask them to start her in life as a teacher of music on her own account. She wrote to her former mistress accordingly. Her former mistress had evidently doubted the genuineness of the girl’s resolution to be a nun, and had seized the opportunity offered by her entry into the convent to cut off all further communication between her ex-waiting-maid and herself. Miss Gwilt’s letter was returned by the post-office. She caused inquiries to be made; and found that Mr. Blanchard was dead, and that his daughter had left the great house for some place of retirement unknown. The next thing she did, upon this, was to write to the heir in possession of the estate. The letter was answered by his solicitors, who were instructed to put the law in force at the first attempt she made to extort money from any member of the family at Thorpe Ambrose. The last chance was to get at the address of her mistress’s place of retirement. The family bankers, to whom she wrote, wrote back to say that they were instructed not to give the lady’s address to any one applying for it, without being previously empowered to do so by the lady herself. That last letter settled the question—Miss Gwilt could do nothing more. With money at her command, she might have gone to England and made the Blanchards think twice before they carried things with too high a hand. Not having a half-penny at command, she was helpless. Without money and without friends, you may wonder how she supported herself while the correspondence was going on. She supported herself by playing the piano-forte at a low concert-room in Brussels. The men laid siege to her, of course, in all directions; but they found her insensible as adamant. One of these rejected gentlemen was a Russian; and he was the means of making her acquainted with a countrywoman of his, whose name is unpronounceable by English lips. Let us give her her title, and call her the baroness. The two women liked each other at their first introduction; and a new scene opened in Miss Gwilt’s life. She became reader and companion to the baroness. Everything was right, everything was smooth on the surface. Everything was rotten and everything was wrong under it.”
“The Blanchards were consulted, just to be formal,” continued Bashwood the younger. “They had no issue with her retreating to a convent, as you can imagine. The nicest letter they ever received from her, I can assure you, was the one where she formally said goodbye to them for good. The folks at the convent were careful as always not to get involved. Their rules wouldn’t let her take the veil until she had tried out the life for a year first, and then, if she had any doubts, for another year after that. So she tried it for the first year and had doubts. She tried it for the second year and was smart enough by then to give it up without further hesitation. Her situation was pretty uncomfortable when she found herself free again. The sisters at the convent had lost interest in her; the headmistress at the school refused to take her back as a teacher, claiming she was too good-looking for the role; and the priest thought she was possessed by the devil. She had no choice but to write to the Blanchards again, asking them to help her start a new life as an independent music teacher. So she wrote to her former employer. Her former employer clearly doubted the authenticity of her desire to become a nun and had used her entry into the convent to cut off all further communication with her former maid. Miss Gwilt’s letter was returned by the post office. She made inquiries and found that Mr. Blanchard had died, and his daughter had left the big house for some unknown place of seclusion. The next thing she did was to write to the current heir of the estate. The response came from his lawyers, who were instructed to take legal action at the first sign she tried to extort money from anyone in the family at Thorpe Ambrose. Her last chance was to get the address of her former employer’s hidden retreat. The family’s bankers replied, saying they had been ordered not to give the lady’s address to anyone asking for it unless given permission by the lady herself. That last letter ended the matter—Miss Gwilt could do nothing more. With access to money, she could have gone to England and made the Blanchards reconsider their heavy-handedness. But without a penny to her name, she was powerless. You might wonder how she managed to support herself during all this correspondence. She made a living by playing the piano at a low-end concert hall in Brussels. Men pursued her from all sides, but they found her completely unresponsive. One of these rejected suitors was a Russian, and he introduced her to a fellow countrywoman with a name unpronounceable to English speakers. Let’s just call her the baroness. The two women hit it off right away, leading to a new chapter in Miss Gwilt’s life. She became the baroness’s reader and companion. Everything seemed fine, everything appeared smooth on the outside. But beneath the surface, everything was rotten and wrong.”
“In what way, Jemmy? Please to wait a little, and tell me in what way.”
“In what way, Jemmy? Please wait a moment and tell me how.”
“In this way. The baroness was fond of traveling, and she had a select set of friends about her who were quite of her way of thinking. They went from one city on the Continent to another, and were such charming people that they picked up acquaintances everywhere. The acquaintances were invited to the baroness’s receptions, and card-tables were invariably a part of the baroness’s furniture. Do you see it now? or must I tell you, in the strictest confidence, that cards were not considered sinful on these festive occasions, and that the luck, at the end of the evening, turned out to be almost invariably on the side of the baroness and her friends? Swindlers, all of them; and there isn’t a doubt on my mind, whatever there may be on yours, that Miss Gwilt’s manners and appearance made her a valuable member of the society in the capacity of a decoy. Her own statement is that she was innocent of all knowledge of what really went on; that she was quite ignorant of card-playing; that she hadn’t such a thing as a respectable friend to turn to in the world; and that she honestly liked the baroness, for the simple reason that the baroness was a hearty good friend to her from first to last. Believe that or not, as you please. For five years she traveled about all over the Continent with these card-sharpers in high life, and she might have been among them at this moment, for anything I know to the contrary, if the baroness had not caught a Tartar at Naples, in the shape of a rich traveling Englishman, named Waldron. Aha! that name startles you, does it? You’ve read the Trial of the famous Mrs. Waldron, like the rest of the world? And you know who Miss Gwilt is now, without my telling you?”
“In this way, the baroness loved to travel and surrounded herself with a select group of friends who shared her way of thinking. They moved from one city in Europe to another and were such charming people that they made acquaintances everywhere. These acquaintances were invited to the baroness’s gatherings, where card games were always part of the scene. Do you get it now? Or should I confide in you that cards weren’t considered wrong at these festive events, and that luck, by the end of the night, almost always favored the baroness and her friends? Swindlers, every one of them; and I have no doubt, despite any you might have, that Miss Gwilt’s manners and looks made her a valuable part of this group as a decoy. She claims she had no idea what was really happening, that she was totally clueless about card games, that she didn’t have a single respectable friend to turn to in the world, and that she genuinely liked the baroness because the baroness was a loyal friend to her from beginning to end. Believe it or not, as you wish. For five years, she traveled all over Europe with these high-society card sharps, and she could be with them right now for all I know, if the baroness hadn’t gotten involved with a wealthy traveling Englishman named Waldron in Naples. Aha! That name surprised you, didn’t it? You’ve read the Trial of the famous Mrs. Waldron, like everyone else? And now you know who Miss Gwilt is, without me needing to tell you?”
He paused, and looked at his father in sudden perplexity. Far from being overwhelmed by the discovery which had just burst on him, Mr. Bashwood, after the first natural movement of surprise, faced his son with a self-possession which was nothing short of extraordinary under the circumstances. There was a new brightness in his eyes, and a new color in his face. If it had been possible to conceive such a thing of a man in his position, he seemed to be absolutely encouraged instead of depressed by what he had just heard. “Go on, Jemmy,” he said, quietly; “I am one of the few people who didn’t read the trial; I only heard of it.”
He paused and looked at his father in sudden confusion. Instead of being overwhelmed by the discovery that had just hit him, Mr. Bashwood, after the initial shock of surprise, faced his son with a level of calm that was nothing short of amazing given the situation. There was a new sparkle in his eyes and a fresh color in his face. If it were possible to imagine such a thing for a man in his position, he seemed to be completely uplifted rather than weighed down by what he had just heard. “Go on, Jemmy,” he said quietly; “I’m one of the few people who didn’t read the trial; I only heard about it.”
Still wondering inwardly, Bashwood the younger recovered himself, and went on.
Still lost in thought, Bashwood the younger pulled himself together and kept going.
“You always were, and you always will be, behind the age,” he said. “When we come to the trial, I can tell you as much about it as you need know. In the meantime, we must go back to the baroness and Mr. Waldron. For a certain number of nights the Englishman let the card-sharpers have it all their own way; in other words, he paid for the privilege of making himself agreeable to Miss Gwilt. When he thought he had produced the necessary impression on her, he exposed the whole confederacy without mercy. The police interfered; the baroness found herself in prison; and Miss Gwilt was put between the two alternatives of accepting Mr. Waldron’s protection or being thrown on the world again. She was amazingly virtuous, or amazingly clever, which you please. To Mr. Waldron’s astonishment, she told him that she could face the prospect of being thrown on the world; and that he must address her honorably or leave her forever. The end of it was what the end always is, where the man is infatuated and the woman is determined. To the disgust of his family and friends, Mr. Waldron made a virtue of necessity, and married her.”
“You’ve always been behind the times, and you always will be,” he said. “When it comes to the trial, I can fill you in on everything you need to know. In the meantime, we have to go back to the baroness and Mr. Waldron. For several nights, the Englishman let the card sharps run the show; in other words, he paid to charm Miss Gwilt. Once he felt he’d made the right impression on her, he took down the whole operation without holding back. The police got involved; the baroness ended up in jail; and Miss Gwilt was left with the choice of accepting Mr. Waldron’s protection or being cast out into the world again. She was either incredibly virtuous or incredibly smart, take your pick. To Mr. Waldron’s surprise, she told him she could handle the idea of being alone in the world; he had to treat her with respect or let her go for good. In the end, as it usually goes when a man is enamored and a woman is resolute, Mr. Waldron, much to the dismay of his family and friends, made a virtue out of necessity and married her.”
“How old was he?” asked Bashwood the elder, eagerly.
“How old was he?” asked Bashwood the elder, eagerly.
Bashwood the younger burst out laughing. “He was about old enough, daddy, to be your son, and rich enough to have burst that precious pocket-book of yours with thousand-pound notes! Don’t hang your head. It wasn’t a happy marriage, though he was so young and so rich. They lived abroad, and got on well enough at first. He made a new will, of course, as soon as he was married, and provided handsomely for his wife, under the tender pressure of the honey-moon. But women wear out, like other things, with time; and one fine morning Mr. Waldron woke up with a doubt in his mind whether he had not acted like a fool. He was an ill-tempered man; he was discontented with himself; and of course he made his wife feel it. Having begun by quarreling with her, he got on to suspecting her, and became savagely jealous of every male creature who entered the house. They had no incumbrances in the shape of children, and they moved from one place to another, just as his jealousy inclined him, till they moved back to England at last, after having been married close on four years. He had a lonely old house of his own among the Yorkshire moors, and there he shut his wife and himself up from every living creature, except his servants and his dogs. Only one result could come, of course, of treating a high-spirited young woman in that way. It may be her fate, or it may be chance; but, whenever a woman is desperate, there is sure to be a man handy to take advantage of it. The man in this case was rather a ‘dark horse,’ as they say on the turf. He was a certain Captain Manuel, a native of Cuba, and (according to his own account) an ex-officer in the Spanish navy. He had met Mr. Waldron’s beautiful wife on the journey back to England; had contrived to speak to her in spite of her husband’s jealousy; and had followed her to her place of imprisonment in Mr. Waldron’s house on the moors. The captain is described as a clever, determined fellow—of the daring piratical sort—with the dash of mystery about him that women like—”
Bashwood the younger burst out laughing. “He was just about old enough, Dad, to be your son, and rich enough to have filled that precious wallet of yours with thousand-pound notes! Don’t hang your head. It wasn’t a happy marriage, even though he was so young and so rich. They lived abroad and got along well enough at first. He made a new will, of course, as soon as he got married, and took good care of his wife, influenced by the honeymoon vibes. But women wear out, like other things, over time; and one fine morning, Mr. Waldron woke up questioning whether he’d acted foolishly. He was a bad-tempered guy; he was unhappy with himself; and naturally, he made his wife feel it. Starting off by arguing with her, he moved on to suspecting her and became extremely jealous of every man who came into the house. They had no children to tie them down, and they moved from place to place according to his jealousy, until they eventually returned to England after being married for nearly four years. He had a lonely old house of his own in the Yorkshire moors, and there he locked himself and his wife away from everyone except his servants and dogs. Only one outcome could come from treating a spirited young woman that way. It may be fate, or it may be luck; but whenever a woman is desperate, there’s always a man around to take advantage of it. In this case, the man was a bit of a ‘dark horse,’ as they say in horse racing. He was a certain Captain Manuel, a Cuban native, and (according to him) a former officer in the Spanish navy. He had met Mr. Waldron’s beautiful wife on their journey back to England; somehow managed to talk to her despite her husband’s jealousy; and had followed her to her confinement at Mr. Waldron’s house on the moors. The captain is described as a clever, determined type—the daring and adventurous sort—with a touch of mystery about him that women find attractive—”
“She’s not the same as other women!” interposed Mr. Bashwood, suddenly interrupting his son. “Did she—?” His voice failed him, and he stopped without bringing the question to an end.
“She’s not like other women!” interrupted Mr. Bashwood, suddenly cutting off his son. “Did she—?” His voice trailed off, and he stopped without finishing the question.
“Did she like the captain?” suggested Bashwood the younger, with another laugh. “According to her own account of it, she adored him. At the same time her conduct (as represented by herself) was perfectly innocent. Considering how carefully her husband watched her, the statement (incredible as it appears) is probably true. For six weeks or so they confined themselves to corresponding privately, the Cuban captain (who spoke and wrote English perfectly) having contrived to make a go-between of one of the female servants in the Yorkshire house. How it might have ended we needn’t trouble ourselves to inquire—Mr. Waldron himself brought matters to a crisis. Whether he got wind of the clandestine correspondence or not, doesn’t appear. But this is certain, that he came home from a ride one day in a fiercer temper than usual; that his wife showed him a sample of that high spirit of hers which he had never yet been able to break; and that it ended in his striking her across the face with his riding-whip. Ungentlemanly conduct, I am afraid we must admit; but, to all outward appearance, the riding-whip produced the most astonishing results. From that moment the lady submitted as she had never submitted before. For a fortnight afterward he did what he liked, and she never thwarted him; he said what he liked, and she never uttered a word of protest. Some men might have suspected this sudden reformation of hiding something dangerous under the surface. Whether Mr. Waldron looked at it in that light, I can’t tell you. All that is known is that, before the mark of the whip was off his wife’s face, he fell ill, and that in two days afterward he was a dead man. What do you say to that?”
“Did she like the captain?” Bashwood the younger suggested with another laugh. “According to her own account, she adored him. At the same time, her behavior (as she described it) was completely innocent. Considering how closely her husband monitored her, her claim (as unbelievable as it sounds) is probably true. For about six weeks, they kept to private correspondence, with the Cuban captain (who spoke and wrote English perfectly) managing to use one of the female servants in the Yorkshire house as a messenger. We don’t need to worry about how it might have ended—Mr. Waldron himself pushed things to a breaking point. Whether he caught wind of the secret correspondence or not, it doesn't seem clear. But one thing is for sure: he came home from a ride one day in a worse mood than usual; his wife displayed a bit of that strong spirit of hers that he had never been able to break; and it ended with him striking her across the face with his riding whip. We have to admit that was ungentlemanly; but, outwardly, the whip produced astonishing results. From that moment on, the lady submitted like never before. For the next two weeks, he did whatever he wanted, and she didn’t oppose him; he said whatever he wanted, and she didn’t utter a word of protest. Some men might have suspected this sudden change was hiding something dangerous beneath the surface. Whether Mr. Waldron viewed it that way, I can't say. All that’s known is that, before the mark of the whip faded from his wife’s face, he became ill, and two days later, he was dead. What do you think of that?”
“I say he deserved it!” answered Mr. Bashwood, striking his hand excitedly on the table, as his son paused and looked at him.
“I say he deserved it!” replied Mr. Bashwood, slamming his hand excitedly on the table, as his son stopped and looked at him.
“The doctor who attended the dying man was not of your way of thinking,” remarked Bashwood the younger, dryly. “He called in two other medical men, and they all three refused to certify the death. The usual legal investigation followed. The evidence of the doctors and the evidence of the servants pointed irresistibly in one and the same direction; and Mrs. Waldron was committed for trial, on the charge of murdering her husband by poison. A solicitor in first-rate criminal practice was sent for from London to get up the prisoner’s defense, and these ‘Instructions’ took their form and shape accordingly.—What’s the matter? What do you want now?”
“The doctor who treated the dying man didn’t share your viewpoint,” remarked Bashwood the younger, dryly. “He called in two other doctors, and all three refused to certify the death. The usual legal investigation followed. The testimonies from the doctors and the servants pointed undeniably in the same direction; and Mrs. Waldron was charged with murdering her husband by poison and was committed for trial. A top-notch criminal lawyer was brought in from London to prepare the defense, and these ‘Instructions’ were shaped accordingly.—What’s wrong? What do you want now?”
Suddenly rising from his chair, Mr. Bashwood stretched across the table, and tried to take the papers from his son. “I want to look at them,” he burst out, eagerly. “I want to see what they say about the captain from Cuba. He was at the bottom of it, Jemmy—I’ll swear he was at the bottom of it!”
Suddenly standing up from his chair, Mr. Bashwood leaned over the table and tried to grab the papers from his son. “I want to see them,” he exclaimed eagerly. “I want to find out what they say about the captain from Cuba. He was behind it, Jemmy—I swear he was behind it!”
“Nobody doubted that who was in the secret of the case at the time,” rejoined his son. “But nobody could prove it. Sit down again, dad, and compose yourself. There’s nothing here about Captain Manuel but the lawyer’s private suspicions of him, for the counsel to act on or not, at the counsel’s discretion. From first to last she persisted in screening the captain. At the outset of the business she volunteered two statements to the lawyer—both of which he suspected to be false. In the first place she declared that she was innocent of the crime. He wasn’t surprised, of course, so far; his clients were, as a general rule, in the habit of deceiving him in that way. In the second place, while admitting her private correspondence with the Cuban captain, she declared that the letters on both sides related solely to a proposed elopement, to which her husband’s barbarous treatment had induced her to consent. The lawyer naturally asked to see the letters. ‘He has burned all my letters, and I have burned all his,’ was the only answer he got. It was quite possible that Captain Manuel might have burned her letters when he heard there was a coroner’s inquest in the house. But it was in her solicitor’s experience (as it is in my experience too) that, when a woman is fond of a man, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, risk or no risk, she keeps his letters. Having his suspicions roused in this way, the lawyer privately made some inquiries about the foreign captain, and found that he was as short of money as a foreign captain could be. At the same time, he put some questions to his client about her expectations from her deceased husband. She answered, in high indignation, that a will had been found among her husband’s papers, privately executed only a few days before his death, and leaving her no more, out of all his immense fortune, than five thousand pounds. ‘Was there an older will, then,’ says the lawyer, ‘which the new will revoked?’ Yes, there was; a will that he had given into her own possession—a will made when they were first married. ‘Leaving his widow well provided for?’ Leaving her just ten times as much as the second will left her. ‘Had she ever mentioned that first will, now revoked, to Captain Manuel?’ She saw the trap set for her, and said, ‘No, never!’ without an instant’s hesitation. That reply confirmed the lawyer’s suspicions. He tried to frighten her by declaring that her life might pay the forfeit of her deceiving him in this matter. With the usual obstinacy of women, she remained just as immovable as ever. The captain, on his side, behaved in the most exemplary manner. He confessed to planning the elopement; he declared that he had burned all the lady’s letters as they reached him, out of regard for her reputation; he remained in the neighborhood; and he volunteered to attend before the magistrates. Nothing was discovered that could legally connect him with the crime, or that could put him into court on the day of the trial, in any other capacity than the capacity of a witness. I don’t believe myself that there’s any moral doubt (as they call it) that Manuel knew of the will which left her mistress of fifty thousand pounds; and that he was ready and willing, in virtue of that circumstance, to marry her on Mr. Waldron’s death. If anybody tempted her to effect her own release from her husband by making herself a widow, the captain must have been the man. And unless she contrived, guarded and watched as she was, to get the poison for herself, the poison must have come to her in one of the captain’s letters.”
“Nobody doubted who knew the details of the case at the time,” rejoined his son. “But nobody could prove it. Sit down again, Dad, and calm down. There’s nothing here about Captain Manuel except the lawyer’s personal suspicions of him, for the lawyer to act on or not, at his own discretion. From start to finish, she kept protecting the captain. At the beginning of things, she gave the lawyer two statements—both of which he suspected were lies. First, she claimed she was innocent of the crime. He wasn’t surprised, of course; his clients usually deceived him that way. Second, while admitting her personal correspondence with the Cuban captain, she claimed that the letters were solely about a planned elopement, which her husband’s cruel treatment had pushed her to agree to. The lawyer naturally asked to see the letters. ‘He has burned all my letters, and I have burned all his,’ was all he got in response. It was quite possible that Captain Manuel might have burned her letters when he found out there was a coroner’s inquest going on. But in her lawyer’s experience (as it is in my experience too), when a woman is in love with a man, in ninety-nine out of a hundred cases, risk or no risk, she keeps his letters. With his suspicions raised like this, the lawyer privately asked around about the foreign captain and found that he was as broke as a foreign captain could be. At the same time, he asked his client about her expectations from her deceased husband. She replied, in a huff, that a will had been found among her husband’s papers, executed only a few days before his death, leaving her only five thousand pounds out of his huge fortune. ‘Was there an older will, then,’ asked the lawyer, ‘which the new will revoked?’ Yes, there was; a will that he had handed over to her—a will made when they were first married. ‘Leaving his widow well off?’ Leaving her just ten times as much as the second will left her. ‘Had she ever mentioned that first will, now revoked, to Captain Manuel?’ She noticed the trap set for her and said, ‘No, never!’ without a moment’s hesitation. That reply confirmed the lawyer’s suspicions. He tried to scare her by saying that her life might pay the price for deceiving him about this. With the usual stubbornness of women, she remained as unyielding as ever. The captain, for his part, acted in the most commendable way. He admitted to planning the elopement; he said he had burned all her letters as they arrived, out of respect for her reputation; he stayed in the area; and he offered to appear before the magistrates. Nothing was found that could legally link him to the crime or that could put him in court on the day of the trial, other than as a witness. I personally don’t believe there’s any moral doubt (as they call it) that Manuel knew about the will that left her in charge of fifty thousand pounds; and that, because of that, he was ready to marry her after Mr. Waldron’s death. If anyone encouraged her to free herself from her husband by becoming a widow, it had to be the captain. And unless she managed, despite being monitored and cautious, to get the poison for herself, it must have come to her in one of the captain’s letters.”
“I don’t believe she used it, if it did come to her!” exclaimed Mr. Bashwood. “I believe it was the captain himself who poisoned her husband!”
“I don’t think she used it, if it even reached her!” shouted Mr. Bashwood. “I believe it was the captain himself who poisoned her husband!”
Bashwood the younger, without noticing the interruption, folded up the Instructions for the Defense, which had now served their purpose, put them back in his bag, and produced a printed pamphlet in their place.
Bashwood the younger, not realizing the interruption, folded up the Instructions for the Defense, which had now fulfilled their role, put them back in his bag, and pulled out a printed pamphlet instead.
“Here is one of the published Reports of the Trial,” he said, “which you can read at your leisure, if you like. We needn’t waste time now by going into details. I have told you already how cleverly her counsel paved his way for treating the charge of murder as the crowning calamity of the many that had already fallen on an innocent woman. The two legal points relied on for the defense (after this preliminary flourish) were: First, that there was no evidence to connect her with the possession of poison; and, secondly, that the medical witnesses, while positively declaring that her husband had died by poison, differed in their conclusions as to the particular drug that had killed him. Both good points, and both well worked; but the evidence on the other side bore down everything before it. The prisoner was proved to have had no less than three excellent reasons for killing her husband. He had treated her with almost unexampled barbarity; he had left her in a will (unrevoked so far as she knew) mistress of a fortune on his death; and she was, by her own confession, contemplating an elopement with another man. Having set forth these motives, the prosecution next showed by evidence, which was never once shaken on any single point, that the one person in the house who could by any human possibility have administered the poison was the prisoner at the bar. What could the judge and jury do, with such evidence before them as this? The verdict was Guilty, as a matter of course; and the judge declared that he agreed with it. The female part of the audience was in hysterics; and the male part was not much better. The judge sobbed, and the bar shuddered. She was sentenced to death in such a scene as had never been previously witnessed in an English court of justice. And she is alive and hearty at the present moment; free to do any mischief she pleases, and to poison, at her own entire convenience, any man, woman, or child that happens to stand in her way. A most interesting woman! Keep on good terms with her, my dear sir, whatever you do, for the Law has said to her in the plainest possible English, ‘My charming friend, I have no terrors for you!’”
“Here’s one of the published reports of the trial,” he said, “which you can read whenever you want. We don’t need to waste time going into details right now. I’ve already told you how skillfully her lawyer set the stage to present the murder charge as just the latest tragedy in the life of an innocent woman. The two main arguments for the defense (after this initial flourish) were: first, that there was no evidence linking her to the possession of poison; and second, that the medical witnesses, while firmly stating her husband had died from poison, didn’t agree on which specific drug caused his death. Both solid points, and both well presented; but the evidence against her was overwhelming. The accused had no less than three compelling reasons to kill her husband. He had treated her with extreme cruelty; he had left her in a will (as far as she knew, it wasn’t revoked) as the sole heir to his fortune upon his death; and she had, by her own admission, been thinking about running away with another man. After laying out these motives, the prosecution provided evidence that was never once undermined on any point, showing that the only person in the house who could possibly have administered the poison was the accused at the bar. What could the judge and jury do with such evidence in front of them? The verdict was Guilty, of course; and the judge said he agreed with it. The female members of the audience were in hysterics, and the male members weren’t much better. The judge was in tears, and the bar was shaken. She was sentenced to death in a scene unlike anything ever seen before in an English court of justice. And she is alive and well at the moment; free to cause any trouble she wants, and to poison, at her convenience, any man, woman, or child who gets in her way. A fascinating woman! Stay on her good side, my dear sir, whatever you do, because the Law has clearly told her, ‘My charming friend, I have no fear of you!’”
“How was she pardoned?” asked Mr. Bashwood, breathlessly. “They told me at the time, but I have forgotten. Was it the Home Secretary? If it was, I respect the Home Secretary! I say the Home Secretary was deserving of his place.”
“How was she pardoned?” asked Mr. Bashwood, breathless. “They told me back then, but I’ve forgotten. Was it the Home Secretary? If so, I have respect for the Home Secretary! I mean, the Home Secretary deserved his position.”
“Quite right, old gentleman!” rejoined Bashwood the younger. “The Home Secretary was the obedient humble servant of an enlightened Free Press, and he was deserving of his place. Is it possible you don’t know how she cheated the gallows? If you don’t, I must tell you. On the evening of the trial, two or three of the young buccaneers of literature went down to two or three newspaper offices, and wrote two or three heart-rending leading articles on the subject of the proceedings in court. The next morning the public caught light like tinder; and the prisoner was tried over again, before an amateur court of justice, in the columns of the newspapers. All the people who had no personal experience whatever on the subject seized their pens, and rushed (by kind permission of the editor) into print. Doctors who had not attended the sick man, and who had not been present at the examination of the body, declared by dozens that he had died a natural death. Barristers without business, who had not heard the evidence, attacked the jury who had heard it, and judged the judge, who had sat on the bench before some of them were born. The general public followed the lead of the barristers and the doctors, and the young buccaneers who had set the thing going. Here was the law that they all paid to protect them actually doing its duty in dreadful earnest! Shocking! shocking! The British Public rose to protest as one man against the working of its own machinery; and the Home Secretary, in a state of distraction, went to the judge. The judge held firm. He had said it was the right verdict at the time, and he said so still. ‘But suppose,’ says the Home Secretary, ‘that the prosecution had tried some other way of proving her guilty at the trial than the way they did try, what would you and the jury have done then?’ Of course it was quite impossible for the judge to say. This comforted the Home Secretary, to begin with. And, when he got the judge’s consent, after that, to having the conflict of medical evidence submitted to one great doctor; and when the one great doctor took the merciful view, after expressly stating, in the first instance, that he knew nothing practically of the merits of the case, the Home Secretary was perfectly satisfied. The prisoner’s death-warrant went into the waste-paper basket; the verdict of the law was reversed by general acclamation; and the verdict of the newspapers carried the day. But the best of it is to come. You know what happened when the people found themselves with the pet object of their sympathy suddenly cast loose on their hands? A general impression prevailed directly that she was not quite innocent enough, after all, to be let out of prison then and there! Punish her a little—that was the state of the popular feeling—punish her a little, Mr. Home Secretary, on general moral grounds. A small course of gentle legal medicine, if you love us, and then we shall feel perfectly easy on the subject to the end of our days.”
“Absolutely right, sir!” replied Bashwood the younger. “The Home Secretary was the dutiful servant of an informed Free Press, and he was worthy of his position. Do you not know how she escaped execution? If you don’t, I have to tell you. On the night of the trial, a few young writers went to a couple of newspaper offices and wrote several emotionally charged opinion pieces about the court proceedings. By the next morning, the public was fired up; the prisoner was retried, in a sense, by an informal court of justice within the pages of the newspapers. Everyone who had no firsthand experience with the case grabbed their pens and rushed to publish their thoughts, with the editor's permission. Doctors who had not treated the deceased and who had not been at the body’s examination claimed in droves that he had died a natural death. Barristers without any current cases, who had not heard the evidence, criticized the jury that had, and judged the judge, who had presided over cases long before some of them were born. The general public followed the lead of the barristers and doctors, along with the young writers who had sparked the outrage. Here was the legal system they all funded to protect them actually doing its job in a horrifying way! Shocking! Just shocking! The British Public united to protest against its own legal system; and in a flurry, the Home Secretary approached the judge. The judge stood his ground. He had stated it was the right verdict initially, and he maintained that view. ‘But suppose,’ said the Home Secretary, ‘the prosecution had tried a different method to prove her guilty during the trial, what would you and the jury have done then?’ Of course, it was impossible for the judge to answer that. This reassured the Home Secretary at first. After that, when he obtained the judge’s agreement to review the conflicting medical evidence with one prominent doctor, and that doctor later took a lenient stance while explicitly stating he didn’t have solid knowledge of the case’s specifics, the Home Secretary felt completely satisfied. The prisoner’s death warrant ended up in the trash; the verdict of the law was overturned by public acclaim; and the judgment of the newspapers won the day. But the best part is still to come. Do you know what happened when the people discovered they suddenly had their favorite cause of sympathy free from prison? A widespread belief quickly emerged that she wasn’t quite innocent enough to be released immediately! The sentiment was to punish her a little—punish her a little, Mr. Home Secretary, on basic moral grounds. A mild dose of legal consequences, if you please, and then we’ll feel perfectly at ease on this matter for the rest of our lives.”
“Don’t joke about it!” cried his father. “Don’t, don’t, don’t, Jemmy! Did they try her again? They couldn’t! They durs’n’t! Nobody can be tried twice over for the same offense.”
“Don’t joke about it!” yelled his father. “Don’t, don’t, don’t, Jemmy! Did they try her again? They couldn’t! They wouldn’t! No one can be tried twice for the same offense.”
“Pooh! pooh! she could be tried a second time for a second offense,” retorted Bashwood the younger—“and tried she was. Luckily for the pacification of the public mind, she had rushed headlong into redressing her own grievances (as women will), when she discovered that her husband had cut her down from a legacy of fifty thousand pounds to a legacy of five thousand by a stroke of his pen. The day before the inquest a locked drawer in Mr. Waldron’s dressing-room table, which contained some valuable jewelry, was discovered to have been opened and emptied; and when the prisoner was committed by the magistrates, the precious stones were found torn out of their settings and sewed up in her stays. The lady considered it a case of justifiable self-compensation. The law declared it to be a robbery committed on the executors of the dead man. The lighter offense—which had been passed over when such a charge as murder was brought against her—was just the thing to revive, to save appearances in the eyes of the public. They had stopped the course of justice, in the case of the prisoner, at one trial; and now all they wanted was to set the course of justice going again, in the case of the prisoner, at another! She was arraigned for the robbery, after having been pardoned for the murder. And, what is more, if her beauty and her misfortunes hadn’t made a strong impression on her lawyer, she would not only have had to stand another trial, but would have had even the five thousand pounds, to which she was entitled by the second will, taken away from her, as a felon, by the Crown.”
“Pooh! pooh! she could face a second trial for a second offense,” retorted Bashwood the younger—“and she did. Luckily for the public's peace of mind, she had rushed into fixing her own grievances (as women do), when she found out that her husband had slashed her inheritance from fifty thousand pounds to five thousand with just a stroke of his pen. The day before the inquest, a locked drawer in Mr. Waldron’s dressing-room table, which held some valuable jewelry, was discovered to have been opened and emptied; and when the magistrates committed the prisoner, the precious stones were found ripped out of their settings and sewn into her corset. The lady thought it was a case of justifiable self-compensation. The law ruled it as a robbery committed against the deceased man's executors. The lesser offense—which had been overlooked when she was charged with murder—was just the thing to revive, to maintain appearances in the public eye. They had halted the course of justice for the prisoner after one trial; now all they wanted was to restart the course of justice for her at another trial! She was charged with the robbery after being pardoned for the murder. And, what's more, if her looks and hardships hadn’t made a strong impression on her lawyer, she wouldn’t just be facing another trial, but the Crown would have taken away even the five thousand pounds she was entitled to from the second will, as a felon.”
“I respect her lawyer! I admire her lawyer!” exclaimed Mr. Bashwood. “I should like to take his hand, and tell him so.”
“I respect her lawyer! I admire her lawyer!” Mr. Bashwood exclaimed. “I would like to shake his hand and let him know that.”
“He wouldn’t thank you, if you did,” remarked Bashwood the younger. “He is under a comfortable impression that nobody knows how he saved Mrs. Waldron’s legacy for her but himself.”
“He wouldn’t thank you if you did,” said Bashwood the younger. “He thinks that nobody knows how he saved Mrs. Waldron’s legacy for her except himself.”
“I beg your pardon, Jemmy,” interposed his father. “But don’t call her Mrs. Waldron. Speak of her, please, by her name when she was innocent, and young, and a girl at school. Would you mind, for my sake, calling her Miss Gwilt?”
“I’m sorry, Jemmy,” his father interrupted. “But don’t refer to her as Mrs. Waldron. Please speak of her by the name she had when she was innocent, young, and a schoolgirl. Would you mind calling her Miss Gwilt for my sake?”
“Not I! It makes no difference to me what name I give her. Bother your sentiment! let’s go on with the facts. This is what the lawyer did before the second trial came off. He told her she would be found guilty again, to a dead certainty. ‘And this time,’ he said, ‘the public will let the law take its course. Have you got an old friend whom you can trust?’ She hadn’t such a thing as an old friend in the world. ‘Very well, then,’ says the lawyer, you must trust me. Sign this paper; and you will have executed a fictitious sale of all your property to myself. When the right time comes, I shall first carefully settle with your husband’s executors; and I shall then reconvey the money to you, securing it properly (in case you ever marry again) in your own possession. The Crown, in other transactions of this kind, frequently waives its right of disputing the validity of the sale; and, if the Crown is no harder on you than on other people, when you come out of prison you will have your five thousand pounds to begin the world with again.’ Neat of the lawyer, when she was going to be tried for robbing the executors, to put her up to a way of robbing the Crown, wasn’t it? Ha! ha! what a world it is!”
“Not me! I don’t care what name I give her. Forget your sentiment! Let’s stick to the facts. Here’s what the lawyer did before the second trial took place. He told her she would definitely be found guilty again. ‘And this time,’ he said, ‘the public will let the law run its course. Do you have an old friend you can trust?’ She didn’t have a single old friend in the world. ‘Alright then,’ said the lawyer, ‘you have to trust me. Sign this paper, and you’ll be selling all your property to me on paper. When the right time comes, I’ll first settle everything with your husband’s executors; then, I’ll give the money back to you, making sure it’s properly secured (in case you ever marry again) in your own name. The Crown often overlooks its right to contest the validity of the sale in other cases like this, and if they’re no tougher on you than others, when you get out of prison, you’ll have your five thousand pounds to start fresh.’ Clever of the lawyer, when she was about to be tried for stealing from the executors, to set her up to steal from the Crown, right? Ha! ha! what a world it is!”
The last effort of the son’s sarcasm passed unheeded by the father. “In prison!” he said to himself. “Oh me, after all that misery, in prison again!”
The son's last sarcastic remark went unnoticed by the father. “In prison!” he thought to himself. “Oh man, after all that suffering, back in prison again!”
“Yes,” said Bashwood the younger, rising and stretching himself, “that’s how it ended. The verdict was Guilty; and the sentence was imprisonment for two years. She served her time; and came out, as well as I can reckon it, about three years since. If you want to know what she did when she recovered her liberty, and how she went on afterward, I may be able to tell you something about it—say, on another occasion, when you have got an extra note or two in your pocket-book. For the present, all you need know, you do know. There isn’t the shadow of a doubt that this fascinating lady has the double slur on her of having been found guilty of murder, and of having served her term of imprisonment for theft. There’s your money’s worth for your money—with the whole of my wonderful knack at stating a case clearly, thrown in for nothing. If you have any gratitude in you, you ought to do something handsome, one of these days, for your son. But for me, I’ll tell you what you would have done, old gentleman. If you could have had your own way, you would have married Miss Gwilt.”
“Yes,” said Bashwood the younger, getting up and stretching, “that’s how it ended. The verdict was Guilty; and the sentence was two years in prison. She served her time and came out, as far as I can tell, about three years ago. If you want to know what she did when she got her freedom back and how she managed afterward, I might be able to fill you in—maybe another time when you’ve got a few extra notes in your wallet. For now, all you need to know, you already know. There isn’t a doubt that this intriguing lady has the double stain of being found guilty of murder and having served her time for theft. There’s your money’s worth for what you paid—along with my unique talent for clearly laying out a situation, for free. If you have any gratitude in you, you ought to do something nice for your son someday. But for me, I’ll tell you what you would have done, old man. If you had your way, you would have married Miss Gwilt.”
Mr. Bashwood rose to his feet, and looked his son steadily in the face.
Mr. Bashwood stood up and looked his son right in the eye.
“If I could have my own way,” he said, “I would marry her now.”
“If I could have it my way,” he said, “I would marry her right now.”
Bashwood the younger started back a step. “After all I have told you?” he asked, in the blankest astonishment.
Bashwood the younger took a step back. “After everything I’ve just told you?” he asked, in complete disbelief.
“After all you have told me.”
“After everything you’ve shared.”
“With the chance of being poisoned, the first time you happened to offend her?”
“With the risk of being poisoned, you offended her for the first time?”
“With the chance of being poisoned,” answered Mr. Bashwood, “in four-and-twenty hours.”
"With the risk of being poisoned," replied Mr. Bashwood, "in twenty-four hours."
The Spy of the Private Inquiry Office dropped back into his chair, cowed by his father’s words and his father’s looks.
The spy from the private investigation office sank back into his chair, intimidated by his father's words and his father's expression.
“Mad!” he said to himself. “Stark mad, by jingo!”
“Crazy!” he said to himself. “Completely crazy, for sure!”
Mr. Bashwood looked at his watch, and hurriedly took his hat from a side-table.
Mr. Bashwood glanced at his watch and quickly grabbed his hat from a side table.
“I should like to hear the rest of it,” he said. “I should like to hear every word you have to tell me about her, to the very last. But the time, the dreadful, galloping time, is getting on. For all I know, they may be on their way to be married at this very moment.”
“I want to hear the rest of it,” he said. “I want to hear every word you have to say about her, right down to the last detail. But time, that awful, rushing time, is moving on. For all I know, they might be on their way to get married at this very moment.”
“What are you going to do?” asked Bashwood the younger, getting between his father and the door.
“What are you going to do?” asked Bashwood the younger, stepping between his father and the door.
“I am going to the hotel,” said the old man, trying to pass him. “I am going to see Mr. Armadale.”
“I’m heading to the hotel,” said the old man, attempting to get past him. “I’m going to see Mr. Armadale.”
“What for?”
"Why?"
“To tell him everything you have told me.” He paused after making that reply. The terrible smile of triumph which had once already appeared on his face overspread it again. “Mr. Armadale is young; Mr. Armadale has all his life before him,” he whispered, cunningly, with his trembling fingers clutching his son’s arm. “What doesn’t frighten me will frighten him!”
“To tell him everything you’ve told me.” He paused after saying that. The awful smile of triumph that had shown up on his face before came back again. “Mr. Armadale is young; Mr. Armadale has his whole life ahead of him,” he whispered slyly, with his shaky fingers gripping his son’s arm. “What doesn’t scare me will scare him!”
“Wait a minute,” said Bashwood the younger. “Are you as certain as ever that Mr. Armadale is the man?”
“Hold on a second,” said Bashwood the younger. “Are you still completely sure that Mr. Armadale is the guy?”
“What man?”
“Which guy?”
“The man who is going to marry her.”
“The guy who is going to marry her.”
“Yes! yes! yes! Let me go, Jemmy—let me go.”
“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Let me go, Jemmy—let me go.”
The spy set his back against the door, and considered for a moment. Mr. Armadale was rich—Mr. Armadale (if he was not stark mad too) might be made to put the right money-value on information that saved him from the disgrace of marrying Miss Gwilt. “It may be a hundred pounds in my pocket if I work it myself,” thought Bashwood the younger. “And it won’t be a half-penny if I leave it to my father.” He took up his hat and his leather bag. “Can you carry it all in your own addled old head, daddy?” he asked, with his easiest impudence of manner. “Not you! I’ll go with you and help you. What do you think of that?”
The spy leaned against the door and thought for a moment. Mr. Armadale was wealthy—Mr. Armadale (if he wasn’t completely crazy) could be persuaded to place a proper value on information that could save him from the embarrassment of marrying Miss Gwilt. “This could land me a hundred pounds if I handle it myself,” Bashwood the younger considered. “And I won’t see a dime if I leave it to my dad.” He grabbed his hat and leather bag. “Do you really think you can handle all of this in your confused old head, Dad?” he asked, with his usual cheekiness. “Not a chance! I’ll come with you and help. What do you think about that?”
The father threw his arms in an ecstasy round the son’s neck. “I can’t help it, Jemmy,” he said, in broken tones. “You are so good to me. Take the other note, my dear—I’ll manage without it—take the other note.”
The father wrapped his arms around his son's neck in a joyful embrace. “I can’t help it, Jemmy,” he said, his voice trembling. “You’re so good to me. Take the other note, my dear—I’ll manage without it—take the other note.”
The son threw open the door with a flourish; and magnanimously turned his back on the father’s offered pocket-book. “Hang it, old gentleman, I’m not quite so mercenary as that!” he said, with an appearance of the deepest feeling. “Put up your pocket-book, and let’s be off.” “If I took my respected parent’s last five-pound note,” he thought to himself, as he led the way downstairs, “how do I know he mightn’t cry halves when he sees the color of Mr. Armadale’s money?” “Come along, dad!” he resumed. “We’ll take a cab and catch the happy bridegroom before he starts for the church!”
The son threw open the door dramatically and graciously ignored his father’s offered wallet. “Come on, old man, I’m not that money-hungry!” he said, acting like he was feeling really deep emotions. “Put your wallet away, and let’s get going.” “If I took my dad’s last five-pound note,” he thought to himself as he led the way downstairs, “how do I know he won’t want half when he sees Mr. Armadale’s cash?” “Come on, Dad!” he said again. “We’ll grab a cab and catch the happy groom before he heads to the church!”
They hailed a cab in the street, and started for the hotel which had been the residence of Midwinter and Allan during their stay in London. The instant the door of the vehicle had closed, Mr. Bashwood returned to the subject of Miss Gwilt.
They hailed a cab on the street and headed to the hotel where Midwinter and Allan had stayed during their time in London. As soon as the cab door closed, Mr. Bashwood brought up the topic of Miss Gwilt again.
“Tell me the rest,” he said, taking his son’s hand, and patting it tenderly. “Let’s go on talking about her all the way to the hotel. Help me through the time, Jemmy—help me through the time.”
“Tell me more,” he said, holding his son’s hand and giving it a gentle pat. “Let’s keep talking about her all the way to the hotel. Help me get through this, Jemmy—help me get through this.”
Bashwood the younger was in high spirits at the prospect of seeing the color of Mr. Armadale’s money. He trifled with his father’s anxiety to the very last.
Bashwood the younger was in great spirits at the thought of seeing Mr. Armadale’s money. He played around with his father’s worries right until the end.
“Let’s see if you remember what I’ve told you already,” he began. “There’s a character in the story that’s dropped out of it without being accounted for. Come! can you tell me who it is?”
“Let’s see if you recall what I’ve already told you,” he said. “There’s a character in the story that has disappeared without any explanation. Come on! Can you tell me who it is?”
He had reckoned on finding his father unable to answer the question. But Mr. Bashwood’s memory, for anything that related to Miss Gwilt, was as clear and ready as his son’s. “The foreign scoundrel who tempted her, and let her screen him at the risk of her own life,” he said, without an instant’s hesitation. “Don’t speak of him, Jemmy—don’t speak of him again!”
He expected to find his father unable to answer the question. But Mr. Bashwood’s memory about anything concerning Miss Gwilt was as sharp and quick as his son’s. “The foreign scoundrel who seduced her and made her protect him at the risk of her own life,” he said without a moment's hesitation. “Don't mention him, Jemmy—don't mention him again!”
“I must speak of him,” retorted the other. “You want to know what became of Miss Gwilt when she got out of prison, don’t you? Very good—I’m in a position to tell you. She became Mrs. Manuel. It’s no use staring at me, old gentleman. I know it officially. At the latter part of last year, a foreign lady came to our place, with evidence to prove that she had been lawfully married to Captain Manuel, at a former period of his career, when he had visited England for the first time. She had only lately discovered that he had been in this country again; and she had reason to believe that he had married another woman in Scotland. Our people were employed to make the necessary inquiries. Comparison of dates showed that the Scotch marriage—if it was a marriage at all, and not a sham—had taken place just about the time when Miss Gwilt was a free woman again. And a little further investigation showed us that the second Mrs. Manuel was no other than the heroine of the famous criminal trial—whom we didn’t know then, but whom we do know now, to be identical with your fascinating friend, Miss Gwilt.”
“I have to talk about him,” the other replied sharply. “You want to know what happened to Miss Gwilt after she got out of prison, right? Alright—I’m in a position to tell you. She became Mrs. Manuel. No need to stare at me, sir. I know this officially. Toward the end of last year, a foreign woman came to our office with proof that she had been legally married to Captain Manuel during an earlier stage of his career, when he first visited England. She had only just found out that he had been back in this country; and she had reason to believe that he had married another woman in Scotland. Our team was tasked with making the necessary inquiries. A comparison of dates revealed that the Scottish marriage—if it was an actual marriage and not just a facade—occurred right around the time when Miss Gwilt was a free woman again. Further investigation revealed that the second Mrs. Manuel was none other than the star of the famous criminal trial—whom we didn’t recognize then, but who we now know to be your charming friend, Miss Gwilt.”
Mr. Bashwood’s head sank on his breast. He clasped his trembling hands fast in each other, and waited in silence to hear the rest.
Mr. Bashwood's head dropped to his chest. He gripped his shaking hands tightly together and waited in silence to hear more.
“Cheer up!” pursued his son. “She was no more the captain’s wife than you are; and what is more, the captain himself is out of your way now. One foggy day in December last he gave us the slip; and was off to the continent, nobody knew where. He had spent the whole of the second Mrs. Manuel’s five thousand pounds, in the time that had elapsed (between two and three years) since she had come out of prison; and the wonder was, where he had got the money to pay his traveling expenses. It turned out that he had got it from the second Mrs. Manuel herself. She had filled his empty pockets; and there she was, waiting confidently in a miserable London lodging, to hear from him and join him as soon as he was safely settled in foreign parts! Where had she got the money, you may ask naturally enough? Nobody could tell at the time. My own notion is, now, that her former mistress must have been still living, and that she must have turned her knowledge of the Blanchards’ family secret to profitable account at last. This is mere guess-work, of course; but there’s a circumstance that makes it likely guess-work to my mind. She had an elderly female friend to apply to at the time, who was just the woman to help her in ferreting out her mistress’s address. Can you guess the name of the elderly female friend? Not you! Mrs. Oldershaw, of course!”
“Cheer up!” his son urged. “She was no more the captain’s wife than you are; and besides, the captain is out of your life now. One foggy day last December, he slipped away from us and headed to the continent, nobody knew where. He had spent all of the second Mrs. Manuel’s five thousand pounds during the two to three years since she got out of prison, and the real mystery is how he managed to cover his travel expenses. It turned out that he got the money from the second Mrs. Manuel herself. She had filled his empty pockets, and there she was, confidently waiting in a rundown London apartment, hoping to hear from him and to join him as soon as he was settled abroad! You might wonder where she got the money, and that’s a good question. Nobody knew at the time. I suspect now that her former mistress must still have been alive and that she had finally found a way to profit from the Blanchards’ family secret. This is just a guess, of course, but there’s something that makes it seem plausible to me. She had an older female friend she could turn to at the time, and she was just the right person to help her track down her mistress’s address. Can you guess the name of that older female friend? Not a chance! It was Mrs. Oldershaw, of course!”
Mr. Bashwood suddenly looked up. “Why should she go back,” he asked, “to the woman who had deserted her when she was a child?”
Mr. Bashwood suddenly looked up. “Why should she go back,” he asked, “to the woman who abandoned her when she was a child?”
“I can’t say,” rejoined his son, “unless she went back in the interests of her own magnificent head of hair. The prison-scissors, I needn’t tell you, had made short work of it with Miss Gwilt’s love-locks, in every sense of the word and Mrs. Oldershaw, I beg to add, is the most eminent woman in England, as restorer-general of the dilapidated heads and faces of the female sex. Put two and two together; and perhaps you’ll agree with me, in this case, that they make four.”
“I can’t say,” replied his son, “unless she went back for the sake of her gorgeous hair. The prison scissors, as you can imagine, completely ruined Miss Gwilt’s beautiful locks, in every sense of the word, and Mrs. Oldershaw, I must add, is the top expert in England when it comes to restoring the damaged heads and faces of women. Put two and two together; and maybe you’ll agree with me that in this case, they add up to four.”
“Yes, yes; two and two make four,” repeated his father, impatiently. “But I want to know something else. Did she hear from him again? Did he send for her after he had gone away to foreign parts?”
“Yes, yes; two and two make four,” his father repeated impatiently. “But I want to know something else. Did she hear from him again? Did he send for her after he left for overseas?”
“The captain? Why, what on earth can you be thinking of? Hadn’t he spent every farthing of her money? and wasn’t he loose on the Continent out of her reach? She waited to hear from him. I dare say, for she persisted in believing in him. But I’ll lay you any wager you like, she never saw the sight of his handwriting again. We did our best at the office to open her eyes; we told her plainly that he had a first wife living, and that she hadn’t the shadow of a claim on him. She wouldn’t believe us, though we met her with the evidence. Obstinate, devilish obstinate. I dare say she waited for months together before she gave up the last hope of ever seeing him again.”
“The captain? What on earth are you thinking? Hadn’t he spent every penny of her money? And wasn’t he off on the Continent where she couldn’t reach him? She waited to hear from him. I bet she kept believing in him. But I’ll wager anything you want that she never saw his handwriting again. We did our best at the office to open her eyes; we told her straight up that he had a first wife still alive and that she had no claim on him at all. She wouldn’t believe us, even when we showed her the proof. Stubborn, incredibly stubborn. I bet she waited for months before she finally gave up any hope of ever seeing him again.”
Mr. Bashwood looked aside quickly out of the cab window. “Where could she turn for refuge next?” he said, not to his son, but to himself. “What, in Heaven’s name, could she do?”
Mr. Bashwood glanced quickly out of the cab window. “Where could she turn for help next?” he said, not to his son, but to himself. “What on Earth could she do?”
“Judging by my experience of women,” remarked Bashwood the younger, overhearing him, “I should say she probably tried to drown herself. But that’s only guess-work again: it’s all guess-work at this part of her story. You catch me at the end of my evidence, dad, when you come to Miss Gwilt’s proceedings in the spring and summer of the present year. She might, or she might not, have been desperate enough to attempt suicide; and she might, or she might not, have been at the bottom of those inquiries that I made for Mrs. Oldershaw. I dare say you’ll see her this morning; and perhaps, if you use your influence, you may be able to make her finish her own story herself.”
“Based on my experience with women,” said Bashwood the younger, overhearing him, “I’d say she probably tried to drown herself. But that’s just a guess: it’s all guessing at this part of her story. You catch me at the end of my evidence, Dad, when it comes to Miss Gwilt’s actions in the spring and summer of this year. She might have been desperate enough to try to take her own life, or she might not have been; and she might have been behind those inquiries I did for Mrs. Oldershaw, or she might not have been. I’m sure you’ll see her this morning; and maybe, if you use your influence, you could get her to tell her own story.”
Mr. Bashwood, still looking out of the cab window, suddenly laid his hand on his son’s arm.
Mr. Bashwood, still looking out of the cab window, suddenly placed his hand on his son's arm.
“Hush! hush!” he exclaimed, in violent agitation. “We have got there at last. Oh, Jemmy, feel how my heart beats! Here is the hotel.”
“Hush! hush!” he exclaimed, with intense excitement. “We finally made it. Oh, Jemmy, feel how fast my heart is racing! Here’s the hotel.”
“Bother your heart,” said Bashwood the younger. “Wait here while I make the inquiries.”
“Don't worry about it,” said Bashwood the younger. “Stay here while I find out more.”
“I’ll come with you!” cried his father. “I can’t wait! I tell you, I can’t wait!”
“I’ll come with you!” his father shouted. “I can’t wait! Seriously, I can’t wait!”
They went into the hotel together, and asked for “Mr. Armadale.”
They went into the hotel together and asked for "Mr. Armadale."
The answer, after some little hesitation and delay, was that Mr. Armadale had gone away six days since. A second waiter added that Mr. Armadale’s friend—Mr. Midwinter—had only left that morning. Where had Mr. Armadale gone? Somewhere into the country. Where had Mr. Midwinter gone? Nobody knew.
The answer, after a brief pause, was that Mr. Armadale had left six days ago. A second waiter added that Mr. Armadale’s friend—Mr. Midwinter—had only left that morning. Where had Mr. Armadale gone? Somewhere out in the countryside. Where had Mr. Midwinter gone? No one knew.
Mr. Bashwood looked at his son in speechless and helpless dismay.
Mr. Bashwood stared at his son in stunned and helpless shock.
“Stuff and nonsense!” said Bashwood the younger, pushing his father back roughly into the cab. “He’s safe enough. We shall find him at Miss Gwilt’s.”
“Rubbish!” said Bashwood the younger, roughly shoving his father back into the cab. “He’s fine. We’ll find him at Miss Gwilt’s.”
The old man took his son’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you, my dear,” he said, gratefully. “Thank you for comforting me.”
The old man took his son’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you, my dear,” he said, gratefully. “Thank you for comforting me.”
The cab was driven next to the second lodging which Miss Gwilt had occupied, in the neighborhood of Tottenham Court Road.
The cab was driven next to the second place that Miss Gwilt had stayed in, near Tottenham Court Road.
“Stop here,” said the spy, getting out, and shutting his father into the cab. “I mean to manage this part of the business myself.”
“Stop here,” the spy said as he got out and shut his father inside the cab. “I’m going to handle this part of the business myself.”
He knocked at the house door. “I have got a note for Miss Gwilt,” he said, walking into the passage, the moment the door was opened.
He knocked on the front door. “I have a note for Miss Gwilt,” he said, walking into the hallway as soon as the door opened.
“She’s gone,” answered the servant. “She went away last night.”
“She’s gone,” replied the servant. “She left last night.”
Bashwood the younger wasted no more words with the servant. He insisted on seeing the mistress. The mistress confirmed the announcement of Miss Gwilt’s departure on the previous evening. Where had she gone to? The woman couldn’t say. How had she left? On foot. At what hour? Between nine and ten. What had she done with her luggage? She had no luggage. Had a gentleman been to see her on the previous day? Not a soul, gentle or simple, had come to the house to see Miss Gwilt.
Bashwood the younger didn’t waste any more words with the servant. He demanded to see the mistress. The mistress confirmed that Miss Gwilt had left the night before. Where had she gone? The woman couldn’t say. How did she leave? On foot. At what time? Between nine and ten. What about her luggage? She didn’t have any. Did a gentleman come to see her the day before? Not a single person, either fancy or simple, had visited Miss Gwilt.
The father’s face, pale and wild, was looking out of the cab window as the son descended the house steps. “Isn’t she there, Jemmy?” he asked, faintly—“isn’t she there?”
The father's face, pale and frantic, peered out of the cab window as the son walked down the steps of the house. "Is she not there, Jemmy?" he asked weakly—"is she not there?"
“Hold your tongue,” cried the spy, with the native coarseness of his nature rising to the surface at last. “I’m not at the end of my inquiries yet.”
“Shut up,” shouted the spy, with the roughness of his nature finally showing. “I’m not done asking questions yet.”
He crossed the road, and entered a coffee-shop situated exactly opposite the house he had just left.
He walked across the street and entered a coffee shop located directly across from the house he had just left.
In the box nearest the window two men were sitting talking together anxiously.
In the box closest to the window, two men were sitting and talking anxiously.
“Which of you was on duty yesterday evening, between nine and ten o’clock?” asked Bashwood the younger, suddenly joining them, and putting his question in a quick, peremptory whisper.
“Which of you was on duty last night, between nine and ten o’clock?” asked Bashwood the younger, suddenly joining them and asking his question in a quick, commanding whisper.
“I was, sir,” said one of the men, unwillingly.
“I was, sir,” said one of the men, reluctantly.
“Did you lose sight of the house?—Yes! I see you did.”
“Did you lose track of the house?—Yeah! I see you did.”
“Only for a minute, sir. An infernal blackguard of a soldier came in—”
“Just for a minute, sir. A horrible jerk of a soldier came in—”
“That will do,” said Bashwood the younger. “I know what the soldier did, and who sent him to do it. She has given us the slip again. You are the greatest ass living. Consider yourself dismissed.” With those words, and with an oath to emphasize them, he left the coffee-shop and returned to the cab.
“That’s enough,” said Bashwood the younger. “I know what the soldier did and who he works for. She’s escaped us again. You’re the biggest fool alive. Consider yourself fired.” With those words, and an oath to make his point, he left the coffee shop and went back to the cab.
“She’s gone!” cried his father. “Oh, Jemmy, Jemmy, I see it in your face!” He fell back into his own corner of the cab, with a faint, wailing cry. “They’re married,” he moaned to himself; his hands falling helplessly on his knees; his hat falling unregarded from his head. “Stop them!” he exclaimed, suddenly rousing himself, and seizing his son in a frenzy by the collar of the coat.
“She’s gone!” his father shouted. “Oh, Jemmy, Jemmy, I can see it in your face!” He slumped back into his corner of the cab, making a soft, wailing sound. “They’re married,” he murmured to himself, his hands dropping helplessly onto his knees, his hat slipping unnoticed off his head. “Stop them!” he suddenly shouted, grabbing his son frantically by the collar of his coat.
“Go back to the hotel,” shouted Bashwood the younger to the cabman. “Hold your noise!” he added, turning fiercely on his father. “I want to think.”
“Go back to the hotel,” shouted Bashwood the younger at the cab driver. “Be quiet!” he added, turning sharply to his father. “I need to think.”
The varnish of smoothness was all off him by this time. His temper was roused. His pride—even such a man has his pride!—was wounded to the quick. Twice had he matched his wits against a woman’s; and twice the woman had baffled him.
The glossy facade was completely gone by now. He was getting angry. His pride—even a guy like him has his pride!—was deeply hurt. He had tried to outsmart a woman twice; and both times, the woman had defeated him.
He got out, on reaching the hotel for the second time, and privately tried the servants with the offer of money. The result of the experiment satisfied him that they had, in this instance, really and truly no information to sell. After a moment’s reflection, he stopped, before leaving the hotel, to ask the way to the parish church. “The chance may be worth trying,” he thought to himself, as he gave the address to the driver. “Faster!” he called out, looking first at his watch, and then at his father. “The minutes are precious this morning; and the old one is beginning to give in.”
He got out when he arrived at the hotel for the second time and secretly tested the staff with the offer of money. The outcome of the experiment confirmed to him that they really didn’t have any information to provide. After thinking for a moment, he paused before leaving the hotel to ask for directions to the parish church. “It’s worth a shot,” he thought to himself as he gave the address to the driver. “Faster!” he shouted, glancing first at his watch and then at his father. “We don’t have much time this morning, and the old man is starting to fade.”
It was true. Still capable of hearing and of understanding, Mr. Bashwood was past speaking by this time. He clung with both hands to his son’s grudging arm, and let his head fall helplessly on his son’s averted shoulder.
It was true. Still able to hear and understand, Mr. Bashwood was no longer able to speak. He held onto his son's unwilling arm with both hands and let his head drop helplessly on his son's turned shoulder.
The parish church stood back from the street, protected by gates and railings, and surrounded by a space of open ground. Shaking off his father’s hold, Bashwood the younger made straight for the vestry. The clerk, putting away the books, and the clerk’s assistant, hanging up a surplice, were the only persons in the room when he entered it and asked leave to look at the marriage register for the day.
The parish church was set back from the street, secured by gates and railings, and surrounded by a patch of open ground. Breaking free from his father’s grip, Bashwood the younger headed straight for the vestry. The clerk, storing away the books, and the clerk’s assistant, hanging up a surplice, were the only people in the room when he walked in and asked to see the marriage register for the day.
The clerk gravely opened the book, and stood aside from the desk on which it lay.
The clerk seriously opened the book and stepped aside from the desk where it was resting.
The day’s register comprised three marriages solemnized that morning; and the first two signatures on the page were “Allan Armadale” and “Lydia Gwilt!”
The day's record included three marriages performed that morning; and the first two signatures on the page were "Allan Armadale" and "Lydia Gwilt!"
Even the spy—ignorant as he was of the truth, unsuspicious as he was of the terrible future consequences to which the act of that morning might lead—even the spy started, when his eye first fell on the page. It was done! Come what might of it, it was done now. There, in black and white, was the registered evidence of the marriage, which was at once a truth in itself, and a lie in the conclusion to which it led! There—through the fatal similarity in the names—there, in Midwinter’s own signature, was the proof to persuade everybody that, not Midwinter, but Allan, was the husband of Miss Gwilt!
Even the spy—clueless as he was about the truth, and unaware of the terrible future consequences that morning's actions could bring—even the spy was startled when he first saw the page. It was done! No matter what happened next, it was done now. There, in black and white, was the official record of the marriage, which was both a truth in its own right and a lie in the conclusion it suggested! There—due to the unfortunate similarity in the names—there, in Midwinter’s own signature, was the proof that could convince everyone that, not Midwinter, but Allan, was the husband of Miss Gwilt!
Bashwood the younger closed the book, and returned it to the clerk. He descended the vestry steps, with his hands thrust doggedly into his pockets, and with a serious shock inflicted on his professional self-esteem.
Bashwood the younger closed the book and handed it back to the clerk. He went down the vestry steps with his hands stubbornly shoved into his pockets, feeling a serious blow to his professional self-esteem.
The beadle met him under the church wall. He considered for a moment whether it was worth while to spend a shilling in questioning the man, and decided in the affirmative. If they could be traced and overtaken, there might be a chance of seeing the color of Mr. Armadale’s money even yet.
The beadle met him by the church wall. He thought for a moment about whether it was worth spending a shilling to question the man and decided it was. If they could track them down, there might still be a chance to get a look at Mr. Armadale’s money.
“How long is it,” he asked, “since the first couple married here this morning left the church?”
“How long has it been,” he asked, “since the first couple that got married here this morning left the church?”
“About an hour,” said the beadle.
“About an hour,” said the beadle.
“How did they go away?”
“How did they leave?”
The beadle deferred answering that second question until he had first pocketed his fee.
The beadle held off on answering that second question until he had first pocketed his fee.
“You won’t trace them from here, sir,” he said, when he had got his shilling. “They went away on foot.”
“You won’t be able to track them from here, sir,” he said after he got his shilling. “They left on foot.”
“And that is all you know about it?”
“And that’s everything you know about it?”
“That, sir, is all I know about it.”
"That, sir, is everything I know about it."
Left by himself, even the Detective of the Private Inquiry Office paused for a moment before he returned to his father at the gate. He was roused from his hesitation by the sudden appearance, within the church inclosure, of the driver of the cab.
Left alone, even the detective from the private inquiry office hesitated for a moment before returning to his father at the gate. He was jolted from his uncertainty by the sudden appearance of the cab driver inside the church grounds.
“I’m afraid the old gentleman is going to be taken ill, sir,” said the man.
“I’m afraid the old man is going to get sick, sir,” said the man.
Bashwood the younger frowned angrily, and walked back to the cab. As he opened the door and looked in, his father leaned forward and confronted him, with lips that moved speechlessly, and with a white stillness over all the rest of his face.
Bashwood the younger scowled in anger and headed back to the cab. When he opened the door and peered inside, his father leaned forward to face him, lips moving silently, with a pale stillness covering the rest of his face.
“She’s done us,” said the spy. “They were married here this morning.”
“She’s got us,” said the spy. “They got married here this morning.”
The old man’s body swayed for a moment from one side to the other. The instant after, his eyes closed and his head fell forward toward the front seat of the cab. “Drive to the hospital!” cried his son. “He’s in a fit. This is what comes of putting myself out of my way to please my father,” he muttered, sullenly raising Mr. Bashwood’s head, and loosening his cravat. “A nice morning’s work. Upon my soul, a nice morning’s work!”
The old man's body swayed for a moment from side to side. The next second, his eyes closed, and his head dropped forward toward the front seat of the cab. “Drive to the hospital!” shouted his son. “He’s having a seizure. This is what I get for trying to please my father,” he muttered, gloomily lifting Mr. Bashwood’s head and loosening his tie. “What a great way to start the day. Honestly, what a great way to start the day!”
The hospital was near, and the house surgeon was at his post.
The hospital was close, and the house surgeon was on duty.
“Will he come out of it?” asked Bashwood the younger, roughly.
“Will he come out of it?” asked Bashwood Jr., bluntly.
“Who are you?” asked the surgeon, sharply, on his side.
“Who are you?” asked the surgeon, sharply, on his side.
“I am his son.”
"I'm his son."
“I shouldn’t have thought it,” rejoined the surgeon, taking the restoratives that were handed to him by the nurse, and turning from the son to the father with an air of relief which he was at no pains to conceal. “Yes,” he added, after a minute or two; “your father will come out of it this time.”
“I shouldn’t have thought that,” the surgeon replied, taking the restoratives that the nurse handed him and turning from the son to the father with an obvious air of relief. “Yes,” he added after a minute or two, “your father will pull through this time.”
“When can he be moved away from here?”
“When can he be moved from here?”
“He can be moved from the hospital in an hour or two.”
“He can be moved from the hospital in one or two hours.”
The spy laid a card on the table. “I’ll come back for him or send for him,” he said. “I suppose I can go now, if I leave my name and address?” With those words, he put on his hat, and walked out.
The spy placed a card on the table. “I’ll return for him or have someone contact him,” he said. “I guess I can leave now if I provide my name and address?” With that, he put on his hat and walked out.
“He’s a brute!” said the nurse.
“He's a monster!” said the nurse.
“No,” said the surgeon, quietly. “He’s a man.”
“No,” said the surgeon calmly. “He’s a man.”
* * * * * * *
* * * * * * *
Between nine and ten o’clock that night, Mr. Bashwood awoke in his bed at the inn in the Borough. He had slept for some hours since he had been brought back from the hospital; and his mind and body were now slowly recovering together.
Between nine and ten o’clock that night, Mr. Bashwood woke up in his bed at the inn in the Borough. He had slept for a few hours since he was brought back from the hospital, and his mind and body were now gradually recovering together.
A light was burning on the bedside table, and a letter lay on it, waiting for him till he was awake. It was in his son’s handwriting, and it contained these words:
A light was on the bedside table, and a letter rested there, waiting for him until he woke up. It was in his son's handwriting, and it read:
“MY DEAR DAD—Having seen you safe out of the hospital, and back at your hotel, I think I may fairly claim to have done my duty by you, and may consider myself free to look after my own affairs. Business will prevent me from seeing you to-night; and I don’t think it at all likely I shall be in your neighborhood to-morrow morning. My advice to you is to go back to Thorpe Ambrose, and to stick to your employment in the steward’s office. Wherever Mr. Armadale may be, he must, sooner or later, write to you on business. I wash my hands of the whole matter, mind, so far as I am concerned, from this time forth. But if you like to go on with it, my professional opinion is (though you couldn’t hinder his marriage), you may part him from his wife.
“MY DEAR DAD—Now that I’ve seen you safely out of the hospital and back at your hotel, I think I’ve done my duty by you and can focus on my own matters. Work will keep me from seeing you tonight, and I doubt I’ll be in your area tomorrow morning. My advice is to return to Thorpe Ambrose and stick with your job in the steward’s office. Wherever Mr. Armadale is, he will eventually need to contact you for business. As far as I’m concerned, I’m washing my hands of the whole situation from now on. But if you still want to pursue it, my professional opinion is that you could separate him from his wife, even though you couldn’t stop his marriage.”
“Pray take care of yourself.
"Please take care of yourself."
“Your affectionate son,
"Your loving son,"
“JAMES BASHWOOD.”
“James Bashwood.”
The letter dropped from the old man’s feeble hands. “I wish Jemmy could have come to see me to-night,” he thought. “But it’s very kind of him to advise me, all the same.”
The letter fell from the old man's weak hands. “I wish Jemmy could have come to see me tonight,” he thought. “But it's really nice of him to offer me advice, regardless.”
He turned wearily on the pillow, and read the letter a second time. “Yes,” he said, “there’s nothing left for me but to go back. I’m too poor and too old to hunt after them all by myself.” He closed his eyes: the tears trickled slowly over his wrinkled cheeks. “I’ve been a trouble to Jemmy,” he murmured, faintly; “I’ve been a sad trouble, I’m afraid, to poor Jemmy!” In a minute more his weakness overpowered him, and he fell asleep again.
He sighed as he turned on the pillow and read the letter again. “Yeah,” he said, “there’s nothing left for me but to go back. I’m too broke and too old to chase after them all on my own.” He closed his eyes, and tears slowly rolled down his wrinkled cheeks. “I’ve been a burden to Jemmy,” he murmured softly; “I’m afraid I’ve been a real hassle to poor Jemmy!” In just a minute, his weakness took over, and he fell asleep once more.
The clock of the neighboring church struck. It was ten. As the bell tolled the hour, the tidal train—with Midwinter and his wife among the passengers—was speeding nearer and nearer to Paris. As the bell tolled the hour, the watch on board Allan’s outward-bound yacht had sighted the light-house off the Land’s End, and had set the course of the vessel for Ushant and Finisterre.
The clock at the nearby church chimed. It was ten. As the bell rang out the hour, the tidal train—with Midwinter and his wife among the passengers—was rushing closer and closer to Paris. As the bell rang out the hour, the watch on Allan’s departing yacht had spotted the lighthouse off the Land’s End and had set the ship's course for Ushant and Finisterre.
THE END OF THE THIRD BOOK.
THE END OF THE THIRD BOOK.
BOOK THE FOURTH.
I. MISS GWILT’S DIARY.
“NAPLES, October 10th.—It is two months to-day since I declared that I had closed my Diary, never to open it again.
“NAPLES, October 10th.—It has been two months today since I said that I had closed my Diary, never to open it again.
“Why have I broken my resolution? Why have I gone back to this secret friend of my wretchedest and wickedest hours? Because I am more friendless than ever; because I am more lonely than ever, though my husband is sitting writing in the next room to me. My misery is a woman’s misery, and it will speak—here, rather than nowhere; to my second self, in this book, if I have no one else to hear me.
“Why have I broken my resolution? Why have I gone back to this secret friend of my darkest and worst moments? Because I feel more alone than ever; because I am lonelier than ever, even though my husband is writing in the next room. My suffering is a woman’s suffering, and it will be heard—here, rather than nowhere; to my second self, in this book, if I have no one else to listen to me.”
“How happy I was in the first days that followed our marriage, and how happy I made him! Only two months have passed, and that time is a by-gone time already! I try to think of anything I might have said or done wrongly, on my side—of anything he might have said or done wrongly, on his; and I can remember nothing unworthy of my husband, nothing unworthy of myself. I cannot even lay my finger on the day when the cloud first rose between us.
“How happy I was in the first days after our wedding, and how happy I made him! Only two months have gone by, and it feels like a long time ago already! I try to think of anything I might have said or done wrong—anything he might have said or done wrong—and I can't remember anything that wasn't worthy of my husband, nothing that wasn't worthy of myself. I can't even pinpoint the day when the tension first started between us."
“I could bear it, if I loved him less dearly than I do. I could conquer the misery of our estrangement, if he only showed the change in him as brutally as other men would show it.
“I could handle it, if I loved him less deeply than I do. I could overcome the pain of our separation, if he just expressed the change in him as bluntly as other men would.”
“But this never has happened—never will happen. It is not in his nature to inflict suffering on others. Not a hard word, not a hard look, escapes him. It is only at night, when I hear him sighing in his sleep, and sometimes when I see him dreaming in the morning hours, that I know how hopelessly I am losing the love he once felt for me. He hides, or tries to hide, it in the day, for my sake. He is all gentleness, all kindness; but his heart is not on his lips when he kisses me now; his hand tells me nothing when it touches mine. Day after day the hours that he gives to his hateful writing grow longer and longer; day after day he becomes more and more silent in the hours that he gives to me.
“But this has never happened—and will never happen. It's not in his nature to cause suffering to others. Not a harsh word, not a cold look, comes from him. It's only at night, when I hear him sighing in his sleep, and sometimes when I see him dreaming in the morning hours, that I realize how hopelessly I'm losing the love he once had for me. He hides, or tries to hide, it during the day, for my sake. He is all gentleness, all kindness; but his heart isn't in his kisses anymore; his hand doesn't say anything when it touches mine. Day after day, the time he spends on his loathsome writing grows longer; day after day, he becomes more and more silent in the time he spends with me."
“And, with all this, there is nothing that I can complain of—nothing marked enough to justify me in noticing it. His disappointment shrinks from all open confession; his resignation collects itself by such fine degrees that even my watchfulness fails to see the growth of it. Fifty times a day I feel the longing in me to throw my arms round his neck, and say: ‘For God’s sake, do anything to me, rather than treat me like this!’ and fifty times a day the words are forced back into my heart by the cruel considerateness of his conduct; which gives me no excuse for speaking them. I thought I had suffered the sharpest pain that I could feel when my first husband laid his whip across my face. I thought I knew the worst that despair could do on the day when I knew that the other villain, the meaner villain still, had cast me off. Live and learn. There is sharper pain than I felt under Waldron’s whip; there is bitterer despair than the despair I knew when Manuel deserted me.
“And with all this, there’s nothing I can really complain about—nothing significant enough to justify bringing it up. His disappointment avoids any open admission; his acceptance builds up so gradually that even my vigilance can’t see it happening. Fifty times a day, I feel this urge to throw my arms around his neck and say, ‘For God’s sake, do anything to me, just don’t treat me like this!’ And fifty times a day, those words are forced back into my heart by the cruel kindness of his behavior, which gives me no reason to voice them. I thought I had experienced the worst pain I could feel when my first husband lashed me across the face. I thought I understood the depths of despair on the day I realized that the other villain, the even more despicable one, had abandoned me. Live and learn. There's a sharper pain than what I felt under Waldron's whip; there’s a more bitter despair than what I experienced when Manuel left me.”
“Am I too old for him? Surely not yet! Have I lost my beauty? Not a man passes me in the street but his eyes tell me I am as handsome as ever.
“Am I too old for him? Surely not yet! Have I lost my looks? Not a man walks past me on the street without his eyes telling me I'm as attractive as ever.
“Ah, no! no! the secret lies deeper than that! I have thought and thought about it till a horrible fancy has taken possession of me. He has been noble and good in his past life, and I have been wicked and disgraced. Who can tell what a gap that dreadful difference may make between us, unknown to him and unknown to me? It is folly, it is madness; but, when I lie awake by him in the darkness, I ask myself whether any unconscious disclosure of the truth escapes me in the close intimacy that now unites us? Is there an unutterable Something left by the horror of my past life, which clings invisibly to me still? And is he feeling the influence of it, sensibly, and yet incomprehensibly to himself? Oh me! is there no purifying power in such love as mine? Are there plague-spots of past wickedness on my heart which no after-repentance can wash out?
“Ah, no! no! the secret runs deeper than that! I’ve thought about it so much that a terrible idea has taken hold of me. He has been noble and good in his past, while I have been wicked and disgraced. Who knows what a gap that dreadful difference could create between us, unknown to him and to me? It’s madness, it’s foolishness; but when I lie awake next to him in the dark, I wonder if any unconscious reveal of the truth slips out during the closeness that now connects us? Is there an unspoken Something left by the horror of my past that still clings to me invisibly? And is he sensing its effect, clearly, yet incomprehensibly to himself? Oh, is there no cleansing power in a love like mine? Are there stains of past wickedness on my heart that no amount of repentance can wash away?
“Who can tell? There is something wrong in our married life—I can only come back to that. There is some adverse influence that neither he nor I can trace which is parting us further and further from each other day by day. Well! I suppose I shall be hardened in time, and learn to bear it.
“Who knows? Something's off in our marriage—I can't get past that. There's some negative force that neither he nor I can pinpoint that's pushing us further apart each day. Well! I guess I'll eventually toughen up and learn to deal with it.
“An open carriage has just driven by my window, with a nicely dressed lady in it. She had her husband by her side, and her children on the seat opposite. At the moment when I saw her she was laughing and talking in high spirits—a sparkling, light-hearted, happy woman. Ah, my lady, when you were a few years younger, if you had been left to yourself, and thrown on the world like me—”
“An open carriage just passed by my window, carrying a well-dressed lady. She had her husband beside her and her kids on the seat across from her. At just that moment, I saw her laughing and chatting happily—a vibrant, carefree, joyful woman. Ah, my lady, a few years ago, if you had been left to your own devices and faced the world like I have—”
“October 11th.—The eleventh day of the month was the day (two months since) when we were married. He said nothing about it to me when we woke, nor I to him. But I thought I would make it the occasion, at breakfast-time, of trying to win him back.
“October 11th.—The eleventh day of the month was the day (two months ago) when we got married. He didn’t mention it to me when we woke up, and I didn’t say anything to him either. But I thought I would use breakfast as an opportunity to try to win him back."
“I don’t think I ever took such pains with my toilet before. I don’t think I ever looked better than I looked when I went downstairs this morning. He had breakfasted by himself, and I found a little slip of paper on the table with an apology written on it. The post to England, he said, went out that day and his letter to the newspaper must be finished. In his place I would have let fifty posts go out rather than breakfast without him. I went into his room. There he was, immersed body and soul in his hateful writing! ‘Can’t you give me a little time this morning?’ I asked. He got up with a start. ‘Certainly, if you wish it.’ He never even looked at me as he said the words. The very sound of his voice told me that all his interest was centered in the pen that he had just laid down. ‘I see you are occupied,’ I said; ‘I don’t wish it.’ Before I had closed the door on him he was back at his desk. I have often heard that the wives of authors have been for the most part unhappy women. And now I know why.
“I don’t think I’ve ever put so much effort into getting ready before. I don’t think I’ve ever looked better than I did when I went downstairs this morning. He had eaten breakfast alone, and I found a little note on the table with an apology written on it. He said the post to England was going out that day and that his letter to the newspaper needed to be finished. If I were him, I would have let fifty posts go out before having breakfast without him. I went into his room. There he was, completely absorbed in his annoying writing! ‘Can’t you spare me a little time this morning?’ I asked. He jumped up in surprise. ‘Of course, if you want it.’ He didn’t even look at me when he said that. The tone of his voice made it clear that all his focus was on the pen he had just set down. ‘I see you’re busy,’ I said; ‘I don’t want it.’ Before I even closed the door behind me, he was back at his desk. I’ve often heard that the wives of authors are usually unhappy women. And now I understand why.”
“I suppose, as I said yesterday, I shall learn to bear it. (What stuff, by-the-by, I seem to have written yesterday! How ashamed I should be if anybody saw it but myself!) I hope the trumpery newspaper he writes for won’t succeed! I hope his rubbishing letter will be well cut up by some other newspaper as soon as it gets into print!
"I guess, as I mentioned yesterday, I’ll have to learn to deal with it. (What nonsense, by the way, I seem to have written yesterday! I’d be so embarrassed if anyone saw it besides me!) I hope that silly newspaper he writes for fails! I hope his ridiculous letter gets thoroughly criticized by another paper as soon as it’s published!"
“What am I to do with myself all the morning? I can’t go out, it’s raining. If I open the piano, I shall disturb the industrious journalist who is scribbling in the next room. Oh, dear, it was lonely enough in my lodging in Thorpe Ambrose, but how much lonelier it is here! Shall I read? No; books don’t interest me; I hate the whole tribe of authors. I think I shall look back through these pages, and live my life over again when I was plotting and planning, and finding a new excitement to occupy me in every new hour of the day.
“What am I supposed to do with myself all morning? I can’t go outside; it’s raining. If I open the piano, I’ll disturb the busy journalist in the next room. Oh, it was lonely enough in my place in Thorpe Ambrose, but it’s so much lonelier here! Should I read? No; books don’t interest me; I can’t stand the whole tribe of authors. I think I’ll look back through these pages and relive my life when I was plotting and planning, finding a new excitement to keep me occupied every hour of the day.”
“He might have looked at me, though he was so busy with his writing.—He might have said, ‘How nicely you are dressed this morning!’ He might have remembered—never mind what! All he remembers is the newspaper.”
“He might have looked at me, but he was so caught up in his writing. He could have said, ‘You look really nice this morning!’ He might have remembered—doesn't matter what! All he remembers is the newspaper.”
“Twelve o’clock.—I have been reading and thinking; and, thanks to my Diary, I have got through an hour.
“Twelve o’clock.—I’ve been reading and reflecting, and thanks to my Diary, I’ve managed to get through an hour.”
“What a time it was—what a life it was, at Thorpe Ambrose! I wonder I kept my senses. It makes my heart beat, it makes my face flush, only to read about it now!
“What a time it was—what a life it was, at Thorpe Ambrose! I wonder if I kept my sanity. It makes my heart race, it makes my face flush, just to read about it now!
“The rain still falls, and the journalist still scribbles. I don’t want to think the thoughts of that past time over again. And yet, what else can I do?
“The rain still falls, and the journalist still writes. I don’t want to revisit the thoughts of that past time. And yet, what else can I do?
“Supposing—I only say supposing—I felt now, as I felt when I traveled to London with Armadale; and when I saw my way to his life as plainly as I saw the man himself all through the journey...?
“Let’s say—I’m just suggesting—I felt now, like I felt when I traveled to London with Armadale; and when I could see his life as clearly as I saw the man himself throughout the journey...?”
“I’ll go and look out of the window. I’ll go and count the people as they pass by.
“I'll go look out the window. I'll count the people as they pass by."
“A funeral has gone by, with the penitents in their black hoods, and the wax torches sputtering in the wet, and the little bell ringing, and the priests droning their monotonous chant. A pleasant sight to meet me at the window! I shall go back to my Diary.
“A funeral has passed, with mourners in their black hoods, and the wax candles flickering in the rain, and the small bell ringing, and the priests chanting their dull melody. What a lovely scene to greet me at the window! I’ll return to my Diary.”
“Supposing I was not the altered woman I am—I only say, supposing—how would the Grand Risk that I once thought of running look now? I have married Midwinter in the name that is really his own. And by doing that I have taken the first of those three steps which were once to lead me, through Armadale’s life, to the fortune and the station of Armadale’s widow. No matter how innocent my intentions might have been on the wedding-day—and they were innocent—this is one of the unalterable results of the marriage. Well, having taken the first step, then, whether I would or no, how—supposing I meant to take the second step, which I don’t—how would present circumstances stand toward me? Would they warn me to draw back, I wonder? or would they encourage me to go on?
“Supposing I wasn’t the changed woman I am—I just say, supposing—how would the Grand Risk that I once thought about taking look now? I’ve married Midwinter in the name that is truly his. And by doing that, I’ve taken the first of the three steps that were once meant to lead me, through Armadale’s life, to the wealth and status of Armadale’s widow. No matter how innocent my intentions might have been on the wedding day—and they were innocent—this is one of the unchangeable outcomes of the marriage. Well, having taken the first step, then, whether I want to or not, how—supposing I meant to take the second step, which I don’t—how would the current circumstances look to me? Would they warn me to pull back, I wonder? Or would they encourage me to move forward?
“It will interest me to calculate the chances; and I can easily tear the leaf out, and destroy it, if the prospect looks too encouraging.
“It'll be interesting for me to figure out the odds; and I can easily rip out the page and get rid of it if things seem too promising.”
“We are living here (for economy’s sake) far away from the expensive English quarter, in a suburb of the city, on the Portici side. We have made no traveling acquaintances among our own country people. Our poverty is against us; Midwinter’s shyness is against us; and (with the women) my personal appearance is against us. The men from whom my husband gets his information for the newspaper meet him at the cafe, and never come here. I discourage his bringing any strangers to see me; for, though years have passed since I was last at Naples, I cannot be sure that some of the many people I once knew in this place may not be living still. The moral of all this is (as the children’s storybooks say), that not a single witness has come to this house who could declare, if any after-inquiry took place in England, that Midwinter and I had been living here as man and wife. So much for present circumstances as they affect me.
“We're living here (to save money) far from the expensive English neighborhood, in a suburb of the city, on the Portici side. We haven't made any traveling friends among our fellow countrymen. Our poverty works against us; Midwinter’s shyness is a hurdle; and (when it comes to women) my appearance doesn't help either. The men who provide my husband with information for the newspaper only meet him at the café and never come here. I discourage him from bringing any strangers to meet me; even though it’s been years since I was last in Naples, I can’t be sure that some of the many people I used to know here aren’t still around. The moral of the story is (as children’s books say), that not a single witness has come to this house who could say, if there’s any inquiry in England, that Midwinter and I have been living here as husband and wife. So much for how things are affecting me right now.”
“Armadale next. Has any unforeseen accident led him to communicate with Thorpe Ambrose? Has he broken the conditions which the major imposed on him, and asserted himself in the character of Miss Milroy’s promised husband since I saw him last?
“Armadale next. Has some unexpected incident caused him to get in touch with Thorpe Ambrose? Has he ignored the rules that the major set for him and claimed his role as Miss Milroy’s promised husband since I last saw him?”
“Nothing of the sort has taken place. No unforeseen accident has altered his position—his tempting position—toward myself. I know all that has happened to him since he left England, through the letters which he writes to Midwinter, and which Midwinter shows to me.
“Nothing like that has happened. No unexpected event has changed his situation—his enticing situation—regarding me. I know everything that has occurred to him since he left England, through the letters he sends to Midwinter, which Midwinter shares with me."
“He has been wrecked, to begin with. His trumpery little yacht has actually tried to drown him, after all, and has failed! It happened (as Midwinter warned him it might happen with so small a vessel) in a sudden storm. They were blown ashore on the coast of Portugal. The yacht went to pieces, but the lives, and papers, and so on, were saved. The men have been sent back to Bristol, with recommendations from their master which have already got them employment on board an outward-bound ship. And the master himself is on his way here, after stopping first at Lisbon, and next at Gibraltar, and trying ineffectually in both places to supply himself with another vessel. His third attempt is to be made at Naples, where there is an English yacht ‘laid up,’ as they call it, to be had for sale or hire. He has had no occasion to write home since the wreck; for he took away from Coutts’s the whole of the large sum of money lodged there for him, in circular notes. And he has felt no inclination to go back to England himself; for, with Mr. Brock dead, Miss Milroy at school, and Midwinter here, he has not a living creature in whom he is interested to welcome him if he returned. To see us, and to see the new yacht, are the only two present objects he has in view. Midwinter has been expecting him for a week past, and he may walk into this very room in which I am writing, at this very moment, for all I know to the contrary.
“He's been through a lot already. His flashy little yacht nearly drowned him, but it didn't succeed! It happened (just as Midwinter warned it might with such a small boat) during a sudden storm. They were blown ashore on the coast of Portugal. The yacht was ruined, but they managed to save their lives and important papers. The crew has been sent back to Bristol, with recommendations from their captain that have already landed them jobs on a ship heading out. The captain himself is on his way here, having stopped first in Lisbon and then Gibraltar, trying without success to find another boat. His next stop is Naples, where there's an English yacht ‘laid up,’ as they say, available for sale or rent. He hasn’t needed to write home since the wreck because he withdrew the entire large sum of money he had at Coutts's in traveler's checks. He doesn't feel like going back to England; with Mr. Brock dead, Miss Milroy at school, and Midwinter here, he doesn't have anyone left who would be happy to see him if he returned. Right now, the only two things on his mind are visiting us and checking out the new yacht. Midwinter has been waiting for him for a week, and he could walk into this very room while I’m writing this, for all I know.”
“Tempting circumstances, these—with all the wrongs I have suffered at his mother’s hands and at his, still alive in my memory; with Miss Milroy confidently waiting to take her place at the head of his household; with my dream of living happy and innocent in Midwinter’s love dispelled forever, and with nothing left in its place to help me against myself. I wish it wasn’t raining; I wish I could go out.
“It's so tempting, especially with all the wrongs I've endured from his mother and him, still fresh in my mind; with Miss Milroy eagerly waiting to step into her role at the head of his household; with my dream of living happily and innocently in Midwinter’s love shattered forever, leaving me with nothing to cling to against my own struggles. I wish it wasn’t raining; I wish I could go outside.”
“Perhaps something may happen to prevent Armadale from coming to Naples? When he last wrote, he was waiting at Gibraltar for an English steamer in the Mediterranean trade to bring him on here. He may get tired of waiting before the steamer comes, or he may hear of a yacht at some other place than this. A little bird whispers in my ear that it may possibly be the wisest thing he ever did in his life if he breaks his engagement to join us at Naples.
“Maybe something will happen that stops Armadale from coming to Naples? When he last wrote, he was waiting at Gibraltar for an English steamship in the Mediterranean trade to bring him here. He might get tired of waiting before the ship arrives, or he might find out about a yacht somewhere else. A little bird tells me it could be the smartest decision he ever made if he breaks his engagement to join us in Naples.”
“Shall I tear out the leaf on which all these shocking things have been written? No. My Diary is so nicely bound—it would be positive barbarity to tear out a leaf. Let me occupy myself harmlessly with something else. What shall it be? My dressing-case—I will put my dressing-case tidy, and polish up the few little things in it which my misfortunes have still left in my possession.
“Should I rip out the page where all these shocking things have been written? No. My Diary is too nicely bound—it would be complete barbarism to rip out a page. Let me keep myself busy with something else. What should I do? My makeup case—I’ll tidy up my makeup case and polish the few little items that my misfortunes have left me.”
“I have shut up the dressing-case again. The first thing I found in it was Armadale’s shabby present to me on my marriage—the rubbishing little ruby ring. That irritated me, to begin with. The second thing that turned up was my bottle of Drops. I caught myself measuring the doses with my eye, and calculating how many of them would be enough to take a living creature over the border-land between sleep and death. Why I should have locked the dressing-case in a fright, before I had quite completed my calculation, I don’t know; but I did lock it. And here I am back again at my Diary, with nothing, absolutely nothing, to write about. Oh, the weary day! the weary day! Will nothing happen to excite me a little in this horrible place?”
“I’ve closed the dressing case again. The first thing I found inside was Armadale’s terrible gift to me on my wedding day—the worthless little ruby ring. That annoyed me right off the bat. The second thing I discovered was my bottle of Drops. I found myself measuring the doses with my eyes and figuring out how many would be enough to take a living thing across the line between sleep and death. I’m not sure why I locked the dressing case in a panic before I finished my calculation, but I did lock it. And now I’m back at my Diary, with absolutely nothing to write about. Oh, what a dull day! What a dull day! Will nothing happen to stir my interest in this awful place?”
“October 12th.—Midwinter’s all-important letter to the newspaper was dispatched by the post last night. I was foolish enough to suppose that I might be honored by having some of his spare attention bestowed on me to-day. Nothing of the sort! He had a restless night, after all his writing, and got up with his head aching, and his spirits miserably depressed. When he is in this state, his favorite remedy is to return to his old vagabond habits, and go roaming away by himself nobody knows where. He went through the form this morning (knowing I had no riding habit) of offering to hire a little broken-kneed brute of a pony for me, in case I wished to accompany him! I preferred remaining at home. I will have a handsome horse and a handsome habit, or I won’t ride at all. He went away, without attempting to persuade me to change my mind. I wouldn’t have changed it, of course; but he might have tried to persuade me all the same.
“October 12th.—Midwinter’s crucial letter to the newspaper was sent out by mail last night. I was naïve enough to think I might get some of his leftover attention today. Not at all! He had a restless night after all his writing, woke up with a headache, and felt really down. When he’s like this, his go-to solution is to fall back into his old wandering ways and disappear somewhere by himself. This morning, he went through the motions of offering to rent a little old pony with a broken knee for me, just in case I wanted to join him! I chose to stay home. I want a nice horse and a nice outfit, or I won’t ride at all. He left without trying to convince me to change my mind. I wouldn’t have changed it anyway; but he could have at least tried to persuade me.”
“I can open the piano in his absence—that is one comfort. And I am in a fine humor for playing—that is another. There is a sonata of Beethoven’s (I forget the number), which always suggests to me the agony of lost spirits in a place of torment. Come, my fingers and thumbs, and take me among the lost spirits this morning!”
“I can play the piano while he's not here—that’s one good thing. And I’m in the mood to play—that’s another. There’s a sonata by Beethoven (I can’t remember the number), that always makes me think of the suffering of lost souls in a place of torment. Come on, my fingers and thumbs, lead me among the lost souls this morning!”
“October 13th.—Our windows look out on the sea. At noon to-day we saw a steamer coming in, with the English flag flying. Midwinter has gone to the port, on the chance that this may be the vessel from Gibraltar, with Armadale on board.
“October 13th.—Our windows face the sea. At noon today, we saw a steamer coming in, flying the English flag. Midwinter has gone to the port, hoping this might be the ship from Gibraltar with Armadale on board.
“Two o’clock.—It is the vessel from Gibraltar. Armadale has added one more to the long list of his blunders: he has kept his engagement to join us at Naples.
“Two o’clock.—It’s the ship from Gibraltar. Armadale has made yet another mistake: he has stuck to his plan to meet us in Naples.
“How will it end now?
“How will it end now?”
“Who knows?”
"Who knows?"
“October 16th.—Two days missed out of my Diary! I can hardly tell why, unless it is that Armadale irritates me beyond all endurance. The mere sight of him takes me back to Thorpe Ambrose. I fancy I must have been afraid of what I might write about him, in the course of the last two days, if I indulged myself in the dangerous luxury of opening these pages.
“October 16th.—I’ve skipped two days in my Diary! I can barely say why, except that Armadale drives me absolutely crazy. Just seeing him reminds me of Thorpe Ambrose. I think I must have been worried about what I might write about him over the past couple of days if I let myself indulge in the risky temptation of opening these pages.”
“This morning I am afraid of nothing, and I take up my pen again accordingly.
"This morning, I'm not afraid of anything, so I pick up my pen again."
“Is there any limit, I wonder, to the brutish stupidity of some men? I thought I had discovered Armadale’s limit when I was his neighbor in Norfolk; but my later experience at Naples shows me that I was wrong. He is perpetually in and out of this house (crossing over to us in a boat from the hotel at Santa Lucia, where he sleeps); and he has exactly two subjects of conversation—the yacht for sale in the harbor here, and Miss Milroy. Yes! he selects ME as the confidante of his devoted attachment to the major’s daughter! ‘It’s so nice to talk to a woman about it!’ That is all the apology he has thought it necessary to make for appealing to my sympathies—my sympathies!—on the subject of ‘his darling Neelie,’ fifty times a day. He is evidently persuaded (if he thinks about it at all) that I have forgotten, as completely as he has forgotten, all that once passed between us when I was first at Thorpe Ambrose. Such an utter want of the commonest delicacy and the commonest tact, in a creature who is, to all appearance, possessed of a skin, and not a hide, and who does, unless my ears deceive me, talk, and not bray, is really quite incredible when one comes to think of it. But it is, for all that, quite true. He asked me—he actually asked me, last night—how many hundreds a year the wife of a rich man could spend on her dress. ‘Don’t put it too low,’ the idiot added, with his intolerable grin. ‘Neelie shall be one of the best-dressed women in England when I have married her.’ And this to me, after having had him at my feet, and then losing him again through Miss Milroy! This to me, with an alpaca gown on, and a husband whose income must be helped by a newspaper!
“Is there really no limit to the sheer ignorance of some men? I thought I had figured out Armadale’s limits when I lived next to him in Norfolk, but my later experiences in Naples show I was mistaken. He’s constantly coming and going from this house (crossing over in a boat from the hotel at Santa Lucia where he stays), and he only ever talks about two things—the yacht for sale in the harbor and Miss Milroy. Yes! He chooses ME as the confidante for his so-called love for the major’s daughter! ‘It’s so nice to talk to a woman about it!’ That’s his only excuse for dragging me into his feelings—my feelings!—about ‘his darling Neelie’ fifty times a day. He clearly believes (if he thinks about it at all) that I’ve forgotten everything that happened between us when I was first at Thorpe Ambrose, just as he seems to have forgotten. It's shocking how utterly lacking he is in the most basic sensitivity and social skills for someone who appears to have a decent upbringing, and who does, unless I’m mistaken, engage in conversation instead of making noise like a donkey. But it’s true. He asked me—he actually asked me last night—how many hundreds a year a rich man’s wife could spend on her wardrobe. ‘Don’t put it too low,’ the fool added with that annoying grin. ‘Neelie will be one of the best-dressed women in England after I marry her.’ And he says this to me, after I had him at my feet, only to lose him again because of Miss Milroy! This is directed at me, wearing an alpaca dress and married to a man whose income barely gets by with the help of a newspaper!”
“I had better not dwell on it any longer. I had better think and write of something else.
“I shouldn't dwell on it any longer. I should think and write about something else.”
“The yacht. As a relief from hearing about Miss Milroy, I declare the yacht in the harbor is quite an interesting subject to me! She (the men call a vessel ‘She’; and I suppose, if the women took an interest in such things, they would call a vessel ‘He’)—she is a beautiful model; and her ‘top-sides’ (whatever they may be) are especially distinguished by being built of mahogany. But, with these merits, she has the defect, on the other hand, of being old—which is a sad drawback—and the crew and the sailing-master have been ‘paid off,’ and sent home to England—which is additionally distressing. Still, if a new crew and a new sailing-master can be picked up here, such a beautiful creature (with all her drawbacks), is not to be despised. It might answer to hire her for a cruise, and to see how she behaves. (If she is of my mind, her behavior will rather astonish her new master!) The cruise will determine what faults she has, and what repairs, through the unlucky circumstance of her age, she really stands in need of. And then it will be time to settle whether to buy her outright or not. Such is Armadale’s conversation when he is not talking of ‘his darling Neelie.’ And Midwinter, who can steal no time from his newspaper work for his wife, can steal hours for his friend, and can offer them unreservedly to my irresistible rival, the new yacht.
“The yacht. As a break from hearing about Miss Milroy, I have to say that the yacht in the harbor is quite an interesting topic for me! She (the guys refer to a vessel as ‘She’; and I guess if the women were into these things, they would call a vessel ‘He’)—she is a stunning model; and her ‘top-sides’ (whatever those are) are particularly notable for being made of mahogany. However, despite these advantages, she has the downside of being old—which is quite unfortunate—and the crew and the captain have been ‘paid off’ and sent back home to England—which is even more disappointing. Still, if we can find a new crew and a new captain here, such a beautiful thing (with all her flaws) shouldn’t be looked down upon. It might be worth renting her for a cruise and seeing how she performs. (If she shares my sentiments, her performance might surprise her new captain!) The cruise will reveal her shortcomings and what repairs, due to her unfortunate age, she actually needs. Then it will be time to decide whether to buy her outright or not. Such is Armadale’s talk when he’s not discussing ‘his beloved Neelie.’ And Midwinter, who can't spare a moment from his newspaper obligations for his wife, manages to find hours for his friend, and offers them freely to my irresistible competitor, the new yacht.”
“I shall write no more to-day. If so lady-like a person as I am could feel a tigerish tingling all over her to the very tips of her fingers, I should suspect myself of being in that condition at the present moment. But, with my manners and accomplishments, the thing is, of course, out of the question. We all know that a lady has no passions.”
“I won’t write anymore today. If someone as refined as I am could feel a wild, restless energy all over, down to the tips of my fingers, I might think I was in that state right now. But with my manners and skills, that possibility is totally out of the question. We all know that a lady has no passions.”
“October 17th.—A letter for Midwinter this morning from the slave-owners—I mean the newspaper people in London—which has set him at work again harder than ever. A visit at luncheon-time and another visit at dinner-time from Armadale. Conversation at luncheon about the yacht. Conversation at dinner about Miss Milroy. I have been honored, in regard to that young lady, by an invitation to go with Armadale to-morrow to the Toledo, and help him to buy some presents for the beloved object. I didn’t fly out at him—I only made an excuse. Can words express the astonishment I feel at my own patience? No words can express it.”
“October 17th.—A letter arrived for Midwinter this morning from the slave-owners—I mean the newspaper folks in London—which has gotten him working harder than ever. A visit at lunchtime and another at dinner from Armadale. We talked about the yacht at lunch and Miss Milroy at dinner. I’ve been invited by Armadale to join him tomorrow at the Toledo to help him buy some gifts for his beloved. I didn’t lash out at him—I just made an excuse. Can words capture the astonishment I feel at my own patience? No words can describe it.”
“October 18th.—Armadale came to breakfast this morning, by way of catching Midwinter before he shuts himself up over his work.
“October 18th.—Armadale came to breakfast this morning to catch Midwinter before he gets absorbed in his work.”
“Conversation the same as yesterday’s conversation at lunch. Armadale has made his bargain with the agent for hiring the yacht. The agent (compassionating his total ignorance of the language) has helped him to find an interpreter, but can’t help him to find a crew. The interpreter is civil and willing, but doesn’t understand the sea. Midwinter’s assistance is indispensable; and Midwinter is requested (and consents!) to work harder than ever, so as to make time for helping his friend. When the crew is found, the merits and defects of the vessel are to be tried by a cruise to Sicily, with Midwinter on board to give his opinion. Lastly (in case she should feel lonely), the ladies’ cabin is most obligingly placed at the disposal of Midwinter’s wife. All this was settled at the breakfast-table; and it ended with one of Armadale’s neatly-turned compliments, addressed to myself: ‘I mean to take Neelie sailing with me, when we are married. And you have such good taste, you will be able to tell me everything the ladies’ cabin wants between that time and this.’
“Conversation the same as yesterday’s conversation at lunch. Armadale has made a deal with the agent to hire the yacht. The agent, understanding his complete lack of knowledge about the language, has helped him find an interpreter but can’t assist him in finding a crew. The interpreter is polite and eager to help, but doesn’t know anything about the sea. Midwinter’s help is essential; and Midwinter is asked (and agrees!) to work harder than ever to make time to help his friend. Once the crew is found, the strengths and weaknesses of the boat will be tested on a cruise to Sicily, with Midwinter on board to share his thoughts. Lastly (in case she might feel lonely), the ladies’ cabin is generously made available for Midwinter’s wife. All this was decided at the breakfast table, and it concluded with one of Armadale’s well-crafted compliments directed at me: ‘I plan to take Neelie sailing with me when we’re married. And since you have such good taste, you’ll be able to tell me everything the ladies’ cabin needs between now and then.’”
“If some women bring such men as this into the world, ought other women to allow them to live? It is a matter of opinion. I think not.
“If some women bring men like this into the world, should other women allow them to live? It's a matter of opinion. I don't think so.”
“What maddens me is to see, as I do see plainly, that Midwinter finds in Armadale’s company, and in Armadale’s new yacht, a refuge from me. He is always in better spirits when Armadale is here. He forgets me in Armadale almost as completely as he forgets me in his work. And I bear it! What a pattern wife, what an excellent Christian I am!”
“What drives me crazy is seeing, as I clearly do, that Midwinter finds in Armadale’s company and in Armadale’s new yacht an escape from me. He’s always in a better mood when Armadale is around. He forgets about me with Armadale almost as completely as he does when he’s focused on his work. And I put up with it! What a perfect wife, what an amazing Christian I am!”
“October 19th.—Nothing new. Yesterday over again.”
“October 19th.—Nothing's changed. Just like yesterday.”
“October 20th.—One piece of news. Midwinter is suffering from nervous headache; and is working in spite of it, to make time for his holiday with his friend.”
“October 20th.—One piece of news. Midwinter is dealing with a stressful headache; and is pushing through it to save time for his vacation with his friend.”
“October 21st.—Midwinter is worse. Angry and wild and unapproachable, after two bad nights, and two uninterrupted days at his desk. Under any other circumstances he would take the warning and leave off. But nothing warns him now. He is still working as hard as ever, for Armadale’s sake. How much longer will my patience last?”
“October 21st.—Midwinter is worse. Angry, restless, and unapproachable, after two rough nights and two long days at his desk. Under different circumstances, he would take the hint and stop. But nothing stops him now. He’s still working as hard as ever for Armadale’s sake. How much longer will my patience hold out?”
“October 22d.—Signs, last night, that Midwinter is taxing his brains beyond what his brains will bear. When he did fall asleep, he was frightfully restless; groaning and talking and grinding his teeth. From some of the words I heard, he seemed at one time to be dreaming of his life when he was a boy, roaming the country with the dancing dogs. At another time he was back again with Armadale, imprisoned all night on the wrecked ship. Toward the early morning hours he grew quieter. I fell asleep; and, waking after a short interval, found myself alone. My first glance round showed me a light burning in Midwinter’s dressing-room. I rose softly, and went to look at him.
“October 22nd.—Last night, it was clear that Midwinter is pushing himself mentally beyond what he can handle. When he finally fell asleep, he was extremely restless; groaning, talking, and grinding his teeth. From some of the words I caught, it seemed like he was dreaming about his childhood, wandering the countryside with the dancing dogs. At another moment, he was back with Armadale, trapped all night on the damaged ship. As the early morning approached, he became quieter. I eventually fell asleep; when I woke up after a short while, I found myself alone. My first look around revealed a light on in Midwinter’s dressing-room. I quietly got up and went to check on him.”
“He was seated in the great, ugly, old-fashioned chair, which I ordered to be removed into the dressing-room out of the way when we first came here. His head lay back, and one of his hands hung listlessly over the arm of the chair. The other hand was on his lap. I stole a little nearer, and saw that exhaustion had overpowered him while he was either reading or writing, for there were books, pens, ink, and paper on the table before him. What had he got up to do secretly, at that hour of the morning? I looked closer at the papers on the table. They were all neatly folded (as he usually keeps them), with one exception; and that exception, lying open on the rest, was Mr. Brock’s letter.
“He was sitting in the big, ugly, old-fashioned chair that I had asked to be moved to the dressing-room to get it out of the way when we first arrived. His head was tilted back, and one of his hands draped lifelessly over the arm of the chair while the other rested on his lap. I quietly moved a bit closer and saw that exhaustion had taken over him while he was either reading or writing, as there were books, pens, ink, and paper on the table in front of him. What was he trying to do in secret at that hour of the morning? I examined the papers on the table more closely. They were all neatly folded (as he usually keeps them), except for one; the exception, lying open atop the others, was Mr. Brock’s letter.”
“I looked round at him again, after making this discovery, and then noticed for the first time another written paper, lying under the hand that rested on his lap. There was no moving it away without the risk of waking him. Part of the open manuscript, however, was not covered by his hand. I looked at it to see what he had secretly stolen away to read, besides Mr. Brock’s letter; and made out enough to tell me that it was the Narrative of Armadale’s Dream.
“I glanced at him again, after realizing this, and then noticed for the first time another piece of paper lying under the hand resting on his lap. I couldn’t move it without risking waking him up. However, part of the open manuscript wasn’t covered by his hand. I looked at it to see what he had secretly taken to read, in addition to Mr. Brock’s letter, and I could make out enough to tell me that it was the Narrative of Armadale’s Dream.”
“That second discovery sent me back at once to my bed—with something serious to think of.
“That second discovery sent me straight back to my bed—with something important to think about.
“Traveling through France, on our way to this place, Midwinter’s shyness was conquered for once, by a very pleasant man—an Irish doctor—whom we met in the railway carriage, and who quite insisted on being friendly and sociable with us all through the day’s journey. Finding that Midwinter was devoting himself to literary pursuits, our traveling companion warned him not to pass too many hours together at his desk. ‘Your face tells me more than you think,’ the doctor said: ‘If you are ever tempted to overwork your brain, you will feel it sooner than most men. When you find your nerves playing you strange tricks, don’t neglect the warning—drop your pen.’
“Traveling through France on our way to this place, Midwinter’s shyness was finally overcome by a very nice guy—an Irish doctor—we met in the train carriage, who insisted on being friendly and social with us all day during the trip. Noticing that Midwinter was focused on his writing, our travel buddy advised him not to spend too many hours at his desk. ‘Your face says more than you realize,’ the doctor said. ‘If you ever feel tempted to push your brain too hard, you’ll notice it sooner than most people. When you find your nerves acting up, don’t ignore the sign—put down your pen.’”
“After my last night’s discovery in the dressing-room, it looks as if Midwinter’s nerves were beginning already to justify the doctor’s opinion of them. If one of the tricks they are playing him is the trick of tormenting him again with his old superstitious terrors, there will be a change in our lives here before long. I shall wait curiously to see whether the conviction that we two are destined to bring fatal danger to Armadale takes possession of Midwinter’s mind once more. If it does, I know what will happen. He will not stir a step toward helping his friend to find a crew for the yacht; and he will certainly refuse to sail with Armadale, or to let me sail with him, on the trial cruise.”
“After my discovery in the dressing room last night, it seems like Midwinter's nerves are starting to prove the doctor right. If one of the pranks they’re playing on him is to mess with his old superstitious fears again, things are going to change around here soon. I'm curious to see if the belief that we are meant to bring deadly danger to Armadale takes hold of Midwinter's mind again. If it does, I know exactly what will happen. He won’t make any effort to help his friend find a crew for the yacht; and he will definitely refuse to sail with Armadale, or to let me sail with him, on the trial cruise.”
“October 23d.—Mr. Brock’s letter has, apparently, not lost its influence yet. Midwinter is working again to-day, and is as anxious as ever for the holiday-time that he is to pass with his friend.
“October 23rd.—Mr. Brock’s letter seems to still have some influence. Midwinter is working again today and is just as eager as ever for the holiday that he will spend with his friend.
“Two o’clock.—Armadale here as usual; eager to know when Midwinter will be at his service. No definite answer to be given to the question yet, seeing that it all depends on Midwinter’s capacity to continue at his desk. Armadale sat down disappointed; he yawned, and put his great clumsy hands in his pockets. I took up a book. The brute didn’t understand that I wanted to be left alone; he began again on the unendurable subject of Miss Milroy, and of all the fine things she was to have when he married her. Her own riding-horse; her own pony-carriage; her own beautiful little sitting-room upstairs at the great house, and so on. All that I might have had once Miss Milroy is to have now—if I let her.”
“Two o’clock. Armadale was here as usual, eager to know when Midwinter would be available. There’s no definite answer to that yet, since it all depends on Midwinter being able to stay at his desk. Armadale sat down, disappointed; he yawned and put his big, clumsy hands in his pockets. I picked up a book. The guy didn’t get that I wanted to be left alone; he started again on the unbearable topic of Miss Milroy and all the wonderful things she would get when he married her. Her own riding horse, her own pony carriage, her own lovely little sitting room upstairs in the big house, and so on. Everything I might have had once, Miss Milroy is going to have now—if I let her.”
“Six o’clock.—More of the everlasting Armadale! Half an hour since, Midwinter came in from his writing, giddy and exhausted. I had been pining all day for a little music, and I knew they were giving ‘Norma’ at the theater here. It struck me that an hour or two at the opera might do Midwinter good, as well as me; and I said: ‘Why not take a box at the San Carlo to-night?’ He answered, in a dull, uninterested manner, that he was not rich enough to take a box. Armadale was present, and flourished his well-filled purse in his usual insufferable way. ‘I’m rich enough, old boy, and it comes to the same thing.’ With those words he took up his hat, and trampled out on his great elephant’s feet to get the box. I looked after him from the window as he went down the street. ‘Your widow, with her twelve hundred a year,’ I thought to myself, ‘might take a box at the San Carlo whenever she pleased, without being beholden to anybody.’ The empty-headed wretch whistled as he went his way to the theater, and tossed his loose silver magnificently to every beggar who ran after him.”
“Six o’clock.—More of the never-ending Armadale! Half an hour ago, Midwinter came in from his writing, dizzy and worn out. I had been longing all day for some music, and I knew they were showing ‘Norma’ at the theater nearby. I thought an hour or two at the opera might do Midwinter some good, as well as myself; so I said, ‘Why not get a box at the San Carlo tonight?’ He replied, in a dull, uninterested tone, that he wasn’t rich enough to get a box. Armadale was there and waved his well-filled wallet in his usual annoying way. ‘I’m rich enough, old boy, and that’s the same thing.’ With those words, he grabbed his hat and stomped out on his big elephant feet to get the box. I watched him from the window as he walked down the street. ‘Your widow, with her twelve hundred a year,’ I thought to myself, ‘could get a box at the San Carlo anytime she wanted, without owing anyone anything.’ The empty-headed fool whistled as he made his way to the theater and tossed his spare change grandly to every beggar who came after him.”
“Midnight.—I am alone again at last. Have I nerve enough to write the history of this terrible evening, just as it has passed? I have nerve enough, at any rate, to turn to a new leaf, and try.”
“Midnight.—I’m finally alone again. Do I have enough courage to write about this horrible evening exactly as it happened? I at least have enough courage to start a new page and give it a try.”
II. THE DIARY CONTINUED.
“We went to the San Carlo. Armadale’s stupidity showed itself, even in such a simple matter as taking a box. He had confounded an opera with a play, and had chosen a box close to the stage, with the idea that one’s chief object at a musical performance is to see the faces of the singers as plainly as possible! Fortunately for our ears, Bellini’s lovely melodies are, for the most part, tenderly and delicately accompanied—or the orchestra might have deafened us.
“We went to the San Carlo. Armadale’s foolishness became evident, even in something as simple as choosing a box. He confused an opera with a play and picked a box right next to the stage, thinking that the main goal at a musical performance is to see the singers' faces clearly! Thankfully for our ears, Bellini’s beautiful melodies are mostly softly and gently accompanied—or the orchestra could have blown us away.”
“I sat back in the box at first, well out of sight; for it was impossible to be sure that some of my old friends of former days at Naples might not be in the theater. But the sweet music gradually tempted me out of my seclusion. I was so charmed and interested that I leaned forward without knowing it, and looked at the stage.
“I settled back in my seat at first, well out of sight; it was hard to tell if some of my old friends from my days in Naples might be at the theater. But the beautiful music slowly drew me out of my hiding spot. I was so captivated and intrigued that I leaned forward without realizing it and gazed at the stage.”
“I was made aware of my own imprudence by a discovery which, for the moment, literally chilled my blood. One of the singers, among the chorus of Druids, was looking at me while he sang with the rest. His head was disguised in the long white hair, and the lower part of his face was completely covered with the flowing white beard proper to the character. But the eyes with which he looked at me were the eyes of the one man on earth whom I have most reason to dread ever seeing again—Manuel!
“I realized how reckless I had been when I made a discovery that, for a moment, literally chilled me to the bone. One of the singers in the chorus of Druids was staring at me while he sang along with the others. His head was hidden under long white hair, and the lower part of his face was completely concealed by the flowing white beard typical of his character. But the eyes that met mine were those of the one man on earth I fear the most—Manuel!”
“If it had not been for my smelling-bottle, I believe I should have lost my senses. As it was, I drew back again into the shadow. Even Armadale noticed the sudden change in me: he, as well as Midwinter, asked if I was ill. I said I felt the heat, but hoped I should be better presently; and then leaned back in the box, and tried to rally my courage. I succeeded in recovering self-possession enough to be able to look again at the stage (without showing myself) the next time the chorus appeared. There was the man again! But to my infinite relief he never looked toward our box a second time. This welcome indifference, on his part, helped to satisfy me that I had seen an extraordinary accidental resemblance, and nothing more. I still hold to this conclusion, after having had leisure to think; but my mind would be more completely at ease than it is if I had seen the rest of the man’s face without the stage disguises that hid it from all investigation.
“If it hadn’t been for my smelling salts, I think I would have lost my mind. As it was, I stepped back into the shadows. Even Armadale noticed the sudden change in me; he and Midwinter both asked if I was feeling sick. I said I was just feeling the heat, but hoped to feel better soon, and then leaned back in the box, trying to gather my courage. I managed to regain enough composure to look at the stage again (without revealing myself) the next time the chorus appeared. There was the man again! But to my great relief, he didn’t look toward our box a second time. This welcome indifference on his part reassured me that I had only seen an unusual accidental resemblance, nothing more. I still believe that conclusion now that I’ve had time to think it over; but I would feel much more at ease than I do if I had seen the rest of the man’s face without the stage disguises that concealed it from any scrutiny."
“When the curtain fell on the first act, there was a tiresome ballet to be performed (according to the absurd Italian custom), before the opera went on. Though I had got over my first fright, I had been far too seriously startled to feel comfortable in the theater. I dreaded all sorts of impossible accidents; and when Midwinter and Armadale put the question to me, I told them I was not well enough to stay through the rest of the performance.
“When the curtain dropped on the first act, there was a tedious ballet to perform (as per the ridiculous Italian custom), before the opera continued. Although I had gotten past my initial shock, I was still too shaken to feel at ease in the theater. I worried about all kinds of unlikely mishaps; and when Midwinter and Armadale asked me, I said I wasn’t feeling well enough to stick around for the rest of the performance.”
“At the door of the theater Armadale proposed to say good-night. But Midwinter—evidently dreading the evening with me—asked him to come back to supper, if I had no objection. I said the necessary words, and we all three returned together to this house.
“At the door of the theater, Armadale suggested saying goodnight. But Midwinter—clearly anxious about the evening with me—invited him to come back for supper, if I didn’t mind. I said what I needed to say, and the three of us went back to this house together.”
“Ten minutes’ quiet in my own room (assisted by a little dose of eau-de-cologne and water) restored me to myself. I joined the men at the supper-table. They received my apologies for taking them away from the opera, with the complimentary assurance that I had not cost either of them the slightest sacrifice of his own pleasure. Midwinter declared that he was too completely worn out to care for anything but the two great blessings, unattainable at the theater, of quiet and fresh air. Armadale said—with an Englishman’s exasperating pride in his own stupidity wherever a matter of art is concerned—that he couldn’t make head or tail of the performance. The principal disappointment, he was good enough to add, was mine, for I evidently understood foreign music, and enjoyed it. Ladies generally did. His darling little Neelie—
“Ten minutes of peace in my own room (helped by a bit of cologne and water) brought me back to myself. I joined the guys at the dinner table. They accepted my apologies for pulling them away from the opera with the kind assurance that I hadn't made them give up any of their own enjoyment. Midwinter said he was too completely exhausted to care about anything except the two great perks that you can't get at the theater: peace and fresh air. Armadale mentioned—with an Englishman's annoying pride in his own cluelessness when it comes to art—that he couldn't make heads or tails of the show. The main disappointment, he kindly added, was mine since I clearly understood and enjoyed foreign music. Ladies usually did. His sweet little Neelie—
“I was in no humor to be persecuted with his ‘Darling Neelie’ after what I had gone through at the theater. It might have been the irritated state of my nerves, or it might have been the eau-de-cologne flying to my head, but the bare mention of the girl seemed to set me in a flame. I tried to turn Armadale’s attention in the direction of the supper-table. He was much obliged, but he had no appetite for more. I offered him wine next, the wine of the country, which is all that our poverty allows us to place on the table. He was much obliged again. The foreign wine was very little more to his taste than the foreign music; but he would take some because I asked him; and he would drink my health in the old-fashioned way, with his best wishes for the happy time when we should all meet again at Thorpe Ambrose, and when there would be a mistress to welcome me at the great house.
“I wasn't in the mood to deal with his ‘Darling Neelie’ after what I had gone through at the theater. Maybe it was my frayed nerves, or perhaps the jasmine perfume going to my head, but just mentioning the girl set me on fire. I tried to get Armadale’s mind off it by pointing out the supper-table. He appreciated it, but he wasn’t hungry anymore. I next offered him wine, the local stuff, which is all our budget lets us serve. He thanked me again. The foreign wine suited his taste about as well as the foreign music did; still, he’d have some because I asked, and he’d toast to my health in the traditional way, hoping for the day when we’d all gather again at Thorpe Ambrose, and there’d be someone to welcome me at the big house.”
“Was he mad to persist in this way? No; his face answered for him. He was under the impression that he was making himself particularly agreeable to me.
“Was he crazy to keep going like this? No; his face said it all. He thought he was being especially pleasant to me.”
“I looked at Midwinter. He might have seen some reason for interfering to change the conversation, if he had looked at me in return. But he sat silent in his chair, irritable and overworked, with his eyes on the ground, thinking.
“I looked at Midwinter. He might have had a reason to step in and change the subject if he had glanced at me back. But he sat silently in his chair, annoyed and exhausted, with his eyes on the floor, lost in thought.
“I got up and went to the window. Still impenetrable to a sense of his own clumsiness, Armadale followed me. If I had been strong enough to toss him out of the window into the sea, I should certainly have done it at that moment. Not being strong enough, I looked steadily at the view over the bay, and gave him a hint, the broadest and rudest I could think of, to go.
“I got up and went to the window. Still oblivious to his own awkwardness, Armadale followed me. If I had been strong enough to throw him out of the window into the sea, I definitely would have done it at that moment. Since I wasn't strong enough, I stared at the view over the bay and gave him a hint, the most obvious and rude one I could think of, to leave.”
“‘A lovely night for a walk,’ I said, ‘if you are tempted to walk back to the hotel.’
“A lovely night for a walk,” I said, “if you're thinking about walking back to the hotel.”
“I doubt if he heard me. At any rate, I produced no sort of effect on him. He stood staring sentimentally at the moonlight; and—there is really no other word to express it—blew a sigh. I felt a presentiment of what was coming, unless I stopped his mouth by speaking first.
“I doubt he heard me. In any case, I didn't have any impact on him. He stood there, staring dreamily at the moonlight; and—there's really no other way to say it—let out a sigh. I sensed what was about to happen, unless I interrupted him by speaking first.
“‘With all your fondness for England,’ I said, ‘you must own that we have no such moonlight as that at home.’
“‘With all your love for England,’ I said, ‘you have to admit that we don’t have moonlight like that back home.’”
“He looked at me vacantly, and blew another sigh.
“He stared at me blankly and let out another sigh.
“‘I wonder whether it is fine to-night in England as it is here?’ he said. ‘I wonder whether my dear little girl at home is looking at the moonlight, and thinking of me?’
“‘I wonder if it’s nice tonight in England like it is here?’ he said. ‘I wonder if my sweet little girl back home is looking at the moonlight, and thinking of me?’”
“I could endure it no longer. I flew out at him at last.
"I couldn't take it anymore. I finally burst out at him."
“‘Good heavens, Mr. Armadale!’ I exclaimed, ‘is there only one subject worth mentioning, in the narrow little world you live in? I’m sick to death of Miss Milroy. Do pray talk of something else?’
“‘Good heavens, Mr. Armadale!’ I said, ‘is there really just one topic worth discussing in your tiny little world? I’m so tired of hearing about Miss Milroy. Please, let’s talk about something else?’”
“His great, broad, stupid face colored up to the roots of his hideous yellow hair. ‘I beg your pardon,’ he stammered, with a kind of sulky surprise. ‘I didn’t suppose—’ He stopped confusedly, and looked from me to Midwinter. I understood what the look meant. ‘I didn’t suppose she could be jealous of Miss Milroy after marrying you!’ That is what he would have said to Midwinter, if I had left them alone together in the room!
“His large, stupid face turned red all the way to the roots of his ugly yellow hair. ‘I’m sorry,’ he stammered, sounding somewhat sullen and surprised. ‘I didn’t think—’ He trailed off, looking back and forth between me and Midwinter. I understood what that look meant. ‘I didn’t think she could be jealous of Miss Milroy after marrying you!’ That’s what he would have said to Midwinter if I had left them alone together in the room!”
“As it was, Midwinter had heard us. Before I could speak again—before Armadale could add another word—he finished his friend’s uncompleted sentence, in a tone that I now heard, and with a look that I now saw, for the first time.
“As it happened, Midwinter heard us. Before I could say anything else—before Armadale could add another word—he completed his friend's unfinished sentence, in a tone that I now recognized, and with a look that I now noticed, for the first time.
“‘You didn’t suppose, Allan,’ he said, ‘that a lady’s temper could be so easily provoked.’
“‘You didn’t think, Allan,’ he said, ‘that a lady’s temper could be so easily triggered.’”
“The first bitter word of irony, the first hard look of contempt, I had ever had from him! And Armadale the cause of it!
“The first harsh word of irony, the first cold look of disdain, I had ever received from him! And Armadale was the reason for it!
“My anger suddenly left me. Something came in its place which steadied me in an instant, and took me silently out of the room.
My anger suddenly disappeared. Something took its place that calmed me down immediately and quietly led me out of the room.
“I sat down alone in the bedroom. I had a few minutes of thought with myself, which I don’t choose to put into words, even in these secret pages. I got up, and unlocked—never mind what. I went round to Midwinter’s side of the bed, and took—no matter what I took. The last thing I did before I left the room was to look at my watch. It was half-past ten, Armadale’s usual time for leaving us. I went back at once and joined the two men again.
“I sat down alone in the bedroom. I took a few minutes to think to myself, which I prefer not to describe, even in these private pages. I got up and unlocked—never mind what. I went around to Midwinter’s side of the bed and took—doesn’t matter what I took. The last thing I did before leaving the room was check my watch. It was half-past ten, Armadale’s usual time for leaving us. I went back right away and rejoined the two men.”
“I approached Armadale good-humoredly, and said to him:
“I approached Armadale in a good mood and said to him:
“No! On second thoughts. I won’t put down what I said to him, or what I did afterward. I’m sick of Armadale! he turns up at every second word I write. I shall pass over what happened in the course of the next hour—the hour between half-past ten and half-past eleven—and take up my story again at the time when Armadale had left us. Can I tell what took place, as soon as our visitor’s back was turned, between Midwinter and me in our own room? Why not pass over what happened, in that case as well as in the other? Why agitate myself by writing it down? I don’t know! Why do I keep a diary at all? Why did the clever thief the other day (in the English newspaper) keep the very thing to convict him in the shape of a record of everything he stole? Why are we not perfectly reasonable in all that we do? Why am I not always on my guard and never inconsistent with myself, like a wicked character in a novel? Why? why? why?
“No! On second thought, I won’t write down what I said to him or what I did afterward. I’m tired of Armadale! He shows up in every other word I write. I’ll skip over what happened in the next hour—the time between 10:30 and 11:30—and pick up my story again when Armadale has left us. Can I explain what took place, as soon as our visitor walked away, between Midwinter and me in our room? Why bother skipping over that too? Why stress myself out by writing it down? I don’t know! Why do I even keep a diary? Why did the clever thief the other day (in the English newspaper) hold onto the very thing that would convict him, which was a record of everything he stole? Why are we not completely rational in everything we do? Why am I not always vigilant and never inconsistent with myself, like a villain in a story? Why? why? why?
“I don’t care why! I must write down what happened between Midwinter and me to-night, because I must. There’s a reason that nobody can answer—myself included.”
“I don’t care why! I have to write down what happened between Midwinter and me tonight, because I just have to. There’s a reason that nobody can explain—myself included.”
* * * * * * *
* * * * * * *
“It was half-past eleven. Armadale had gone. I had put on my dressing-gown, and had just sat down to arrange my hair for the night, when I was surprised by a knock at the door, and Midwinter came in.
“It was 11:30. Armadale had left. I had put on my bathrobe and was just sitting down to fix my hair for the night when I was surprised by a knock at the door, and Midwinter walked in.
“He was frightfully pale. His eyes looked at me with a terrible despair in them. He never answered when I expressed my surprise at his coming in so much sooner than usual; he wouldn’t even tell me, when I asked the question, if he was ill. Pointing peremptorily to the chair from which I had risen on his entering the room, he told me to sit down again; and then, after a moment, added these words: ‘I have something serious to say to you.’
“He looked incredibly pale. His eyes were filled with a deep sense of despair as they met mine. He didn't respond when I expressed my surprise at him arriving much earlier than usual; he wouldn’t even say, when I asked, if he was sick. Pointing firmly to the chair I had just gotten up from when he entered the room, he told me to sit down again; and then, after a moment, he added these words: ‘I have something serious to tell you.’”
“I thought of what I had done—or, no, of what I had tried to do—in that interval between half-past ten and half-past eleven, which I have left unnoticed in my diary—and the deadly sickness of terror, which I never felt at the time, came upon me now. I sat down again, as I had been told, without speaking to Midwinter, and without looking at him.
“I thought about what I had done—or, no, what I had tried to do—in that time between 10:30 and 11:30, which I didn’t write about in my diary—and the paralyzing fear, which I hadn’t felt then, hit me now. I sat down again, as I had been instructed, without speaking to Midwinter or looking at him.”
“He took a turn up and down the room, and then came and stood over me.
“He walked back and forth in the room, then came and stood over me.
“‘If Allan comes here to-morrow,’ he began, ‘and if you see him—’
“‘If Allan comes here tomorrow,’ he started, ‘and if you see him—’
“His voice faltered, and he said no more. There was some dreadful grief at his heart that was trying to master him. But there are times when his will is a will of iron. He took another turn in the room, and crushed it down. He came back, and stood over me again.
“His voice wavered, and he said nothing more. A deep sorrow weighed on his heart, trying to take control of him. But there are moments when his will is unbreakable. He paced around the room again, suppressing it. He returned and stood over me once more.”
“‘When Allan comes here to-morrow,’ he resumed, ‘let him come into my room, if he wants to see me. I shall tell him that I find it impossible to finish the work I now have on hand as soon as I had hoped, and that he must, therefore, arrange to find a crew for the yacht without any assistance on my part. If he comes, in his disappointment, to appeal to you, give him no hope of my being free in time to help him if he waits. Encourage him to take the best assistance he can get from strangers, and to set about manning the yacht without any further delay. The more occupation he has to keep him away from this house, and the less you encourage him to stay here if he does come, the better I shall be pleased. Don’t forget that, and don’t forget one last direction which I have now to give you. When the vessel is ready for sea, and when Allan invites us to sail with him, it is my wish that you should positively decline to go. He will try to make you change your mind; for I shall, of course, decline, on my side, to leave you in this strange house, and in this foreign country, by yourself. No matter what he says, let nothing persuade you to alter your decision. Refuse, positively and finally! Refuse, I insist on it, to set your foot on the new yacht!’
“‘When Allan comes here tomorrow,’ he continued, ‘let him come into my room if he wants to see me. I’ll tell him that I can’t finish the work I have on my plate as soon as I had hoped, and that he needs to find a crew for the yacht without any help from me. If he comes and, disappointed, appeals to you, don’t give him any hope that I’ll be free in time to help him if he waits. Encourage him to get the best help he can from strangers and to start manning the yacht without any further delay. The more engaged he is to keep him away from this house, and the less you encourage him to stick around if he does come, the better I’ll feel. Don’t forget that, and don’t overlook one last instruction I need to give you. When the vessel is ready to set sail and Allan invites us to go with him, I want you to definitely decline. He’ll try to change your mind because I will, of course, refuse to leave you in this strange house and in this foreign country by yourself. No matter what he says, don’t let anything convince you to change your decision. Refuse, absolutely and finally! Refuse, I insist on it, to step on the new yacht!’”
“He ended quietly and firmly, with no faltering in his voice, and no signs of hesitation or relenting in his face. The sense of surprise which I might otherwise have felt at the strange words he had addressed to me was lost in the sense of relief that they brought to my mind. The dread of those other words that I had expected to hear from him left me as suddenly as it had come. I could look at him, I could speak to him once more.
“He finished quietly and confidently, without wavering in his voice or showing any signs of hesitation on his face. The surprise I might have felt at his strange words was overshadowed by the relief they brought me. The fear of those other words I had expected to hear from him vanished as quickly as it had appeared. I could look at him, I could talk to him again.
“‘You may depend,’ I answered, ‘on my doing exactly what you order me to do. Must I obey you blindly? Or may I know your reason for the extraordinary directions you have just given to me?’
“‘You can count on me to do exactly what you ask,’ I replied. ‘Do I have to follow your orders without question? Or can I know the reason behind the unusual instructions you just gave me?’”
“His, face darkened, and he sat down on the other side of my dressing-table, with a heavy, hopeless sigh.
“His face clouded over, and he sat down on the other side of my dressing table with a deep, hopeless sigh.
“‘You may know the reason,’ he said, ‘if you wish it.’ He waited a little, and considered. ‘You have a right to know the reason,’ he resumed, ‘for you yourself are concerned in it.’ He waited a little again, and again went on. ‘I can only explain the strange request I have just made to you in one way,’ he said. ‘I must ask you to recall what happened in the next room, before Allan left us to-night.’
“‘You might know the reason,’ he said, ‘if you want to.’ He paused for a moment and thought. ‘You deserve to know the reason,’ he continued, ‘since it involves you.’ He took another pause and then went on. ‘I can only explain the unusual request I just made to you in one way,’ he said. ‘I need you to remember what happened in the next room, before Allan left us tonight.’”
“He looked at me with a strange mixture of expressions in his face. At one moment I thought he felt pity for me. At another, it seemed more like horror of me. I began to feel frightened again; I waited for his next words in silence.
“He looked at me with a strange mix of expressions on his face. One moment, I thought he felt pity for me. The next, it seemed more like he was horrified by me. I started to feel scared again; I waited for his next words in silence.
“‘I know that I have been working too hard lately,’ he went on, ‘and that my nerves are sadly shaken. It is possible, in the state I am in now, that I may have unconsciously misinterpreted, or distorted, the circumstances that really took place. You will do me a favor if you will test my recollection of what has happened by your own. If my fancy has exaggerated anything, if my memory is playing me false anywhere, I entreat you to stop me, and tell me of it.’
“‘I know I’ve been working way too hard lately,’ he continued, ‘and my nerves are really frayed. Given how I’m feeling right now, I might have unconsciously misinterpreted or twisted what actually happened. I’d appreciate it if you could check my memory against yours. If I’ve exaggerated anything or if my memory is off in any way, please interrupt me and let me know.’”
“I commanded myself sufficiently to ask what the circumstances were to which he referred, and in what way I was personally concerned in them.
“I managed to ask what the circumstances were that he was talking about and how I was personally involved in them.”
“‘You were personally concerned in them in this way,’ he answered. ‘The circumstances to which I refer began with your speaking to Allan about Miss Milroy, in what I thought a very inconsiderate and very impatient manner. I am afraid I spoke just as petulantly on my side, and I beg your pardon for what I said to you in the irritation of the moment. You left the room. After a short absence, you came back again, and made a perfectly proper apology to Allan, which he received with his usual kindness and sweetness of temper. While this went on, you and he were both standing by the supper-table; and Allan resumed some conversation which had already passed between you about the Neapolitan wine. He said he thought he should learn to like it in time, and he asked leave to take another glass of the wine we had on the table. Am I right so far?’
“‘You were personally involved in this,’ he replied. ‘The situation I'm talking about started when you spoke to Allan about Miss Milroy in what I thought was a very thoughtless and impatient way. I’m afraid I reacted just as petulantly, and I apologize for what I said in the heat of the moment. You left the room. After a brief absence, you came back and offered a perfectly reasonable apology to Allan, which he accepted with his usual kindness and good nature. While this was happening, you both stood by the supper table, and Allan picked up a conversation you’d had before about the Neapolitan wine. He mentioned that he thought he would come to like it over time and asked if he could have another glass of the wine we had on the table. Am I correct up to this point?’”
“The words almost died on my lips; but I forced them out, and answered him that he was right so far.
“The words almost died on my lips, but I pushed them out and told him that he was right so far."
“‘You took the flask out of Allan’s hand,’ he proceeded. ‘You said to him, good-humoredly, “You know you don’t really like the wine, Mr. Armadale. Let me make you something which may be more to your taste. I have a recipe of my own for lemonade. Will you favor me by trying it?” In those words, you made your proposal to him, and he accepted it. Did he also ask leave to look on, and learn how the lemonade was made? and did you tell him that he would only confuse you, and that you would give him the recipe in writing, if he wanted it?’
“‘You took the flask from Allan’s hand,’ he continued. ‘You said to him, good-naturedly, “You know you don’t really like the wine, Mr. Armadale. Let me make you something that might suit your taste better. I have my own recipe for lemonade. Would you mind trying it?” With those words, you made your offer to him, and he accepted. Did he also ask if he could watch and learn how to make the lemonade? And did you tell him that he would only confuse you, and that you would provide him with the recipe in writing if he wanted it?’”
“This time the words did really die on my lips. I could only bow my head, and answer ‘Yes’ mutely in that way. Midwinter went on.
“This time the words truly died on my lips. I could only lower my head and respond ‘Yes’ silently in that way. Midwinter continued.”
“‘Allan laughed, and went to the window to look out at the Bay, and I went with him. After a while Allan remarked, jocosely, that the mere sound of the liquids you were pouring out made him thirsty. When he said this, I turned round from the window. I approached you, and said the lemonade took a long time to make. You touched me, as I was walking away again, and handed me the tumbler filled to the brim. At the same time, Allan turned round from the window; and I, in my turn, handed the tumbler to him.—Is there any mistake so far?’
“‘Allan laughed and went to the window to look out at the Bay, and I followed him. After a bit, Allan jokingly said that just hearing the liquids being poured made him thirsty. When he said this, I turned from the window. I came over to you and mentioned that the lemonade took a long time to make. You touched me as I was walking away again and handed me the tumbler filled to the top. At that moment, Allan turned from the window, and I, in turn, handed the tumbler to him.—Is there any mistake so far?’”
“The quick throbbing of my heart almost choked me. I could just shake my head—I could do no more.
“The rapid beating of my heart nearly suffocated me. I could only shake my head—I couldn’t do anything else.”
“‘I saw Allan raise the tumbler to his lips.—Did you see it? I saw his face turn white in an instant.—Did you? I saw the glass fall from his hand on the floor. I saw him stagger, and caught him before he fell. Are these things true? For God’s sake, search your memory, and tell me—are these things true?’
“‘I saw Allan lift the glass to his lips.—Did you see that? I saw his face go pale in an instant.—Did you? I saw the glass drop from his hand onto the floor. I saw him stagger, and I caught him before he fell. Are these things true? For God's sake, think hard, and tell me—are these things true?’”
“The throbbing at my heart seemed, for one breathless instant, to stop. The next moment something fiery, something maddening, flew through me. I started to my feet, with my temper in a flame, reckless of all consequences, desperate enough to say anything.
“The pounding in my chest seemed to stop for a breathless moment. The next instant, something fiery and infuriating shot through me. I jumped to my feet, my temper flaring, careless of the consequences, desperate enough to say anything.”
“‘Your questions are an insult! Your looks are an insult!’ I burst out. ‘Do you think I tried to poison him?’
“‘Your questions are offensive! Your looks are offensive!’ I shouted. ‘Do you really think I tried to poison him?’”
“The words rushed out of my lips in spite of me. They were the last words under heaven that any woman, in such a situation as mine, ought to have spoken. And yet I spoke them!
“The words poured out of my mouth despite myself. They were the last words on earth that any woman, in a situation like mine, should have said. And yet, I said them!"
“He rose in alarm and gave me my smelling-bottle. ‘Hush! hush!’ he said. ‘You, too, are overwrought—you, too, are overexcited by all that has happened to-night. You are talking wildly and shockingly. Good God! how can you have so utterly misunderstood me? Compose yourself—pray, compose yourself.’
“He sat up quickly and handed me my smelling salts. ‘Shh! Shh!’ he said. ‘You’re also worked up—you’re also too excited by everything that’s happened tonight. You’re speaking wildly and shockingly. Good God! How could you have misunderstood me so completely? Calm down—please, calm down.’”
“He might as well have told a wild animal to compose herself. Having been mad enough to say the words, I was mad enough next to return to the subject of the lemonade, in spite of his entreaties to me to be silent.
“He might as well have told a wild animal to calm down. Having been bold enough to say the words, I was bold enough to bring up the lemonade again, despite his pleas for me to be quiet.
“‘I told you what I had put in the glass, the moment Mr. Armadale fainted,’ I went on; insisting furiously on defending myself, when no attack was made on me. ‘I told you I had taken the flask of brandy which you kept at your bedside, and mixed some of it with the lemonade. How could I know that he had a nervous horror of the smell and taste of brandy? Didn’t he say to me himself, when he came to his senses, It’s my fault; I ought to have warned you to put no brandy in it? Didn’t he remind you afterward of the time when you and he were in the Isle of Man together, and when the doctor there innocently made the same mistake with him that I made to-night?’”
“‘I told you what I put in the glass the moment Mr. Armadale fainted,’ I continued, insisting fiercely on defending myself even though no one had attacked me. ‘I told you I took the bottle of brandy you kept at your bedside and mixed some with the lemonade. How was I supposed to know that he had a strong aversion to the smell and taste of brandy? Didn’t he say to me himself, when he came to his senses, “It’s my fault; I should have warned you not to put any brandy in it”? Didn’t he later remind you of the time when you both were in the Isle of Man, and the doctor there made the same mistake I made tonight?’”
[“I laid a great stress on my innocence—and with some reason too. Whatever else I may be, I pride myself on not being a hypocrite. I was innocent—so far as the brandy was concerned. I had put it into the lemonade, in pure ignorance of Armadale’s nervous peculiarity, to disguise the taste of—never mind what! Another of the things I pride myself on is that I never wander from my subject. What Midwinter said next is what I ought to be writing about now.”]
[“I emphasized my innocence—and I had good reason to. Whatever else I may be, I take pride in not being a hypocrite. I was innocent—at least when it came to the brandy. I added it to the lemonade, completely unaware of Armadale’s nervous quirk, to mask the taste of—never mind what! Another thing I take pride in is that I never stray from my topic. What Midwinter said next is what I should be focusing on now.”]
“He looked at me for a moment, as if he thought I had taken leave of my senses. Then he came round to my side of the table and stood over me again.
“He looked at me for a moment, as if he thought I had lost my mind. Then he came around to my side of the table and stood over me again.”
“‘If nothing else will satisfy you that you are entirely misinterpreting my motives,’ he said, ‘and that I haven’t an idea of blaming you in the matter—read this.’
“‘If nothing else will convince you that you’re completely misunderstanding my motives,’ he said, ‘and that I don’t blame you at all in this situation—read this.’”
“He took a paper from the breast-pocket of his coat, and spread it open under my eyes. It was the Narrative of Armadale’s Dream.
“He pulled a piece of paper out of his coat's breast pocket and unfolded it in front of me. It was the Narrative of Armadale’s Dream.”
“In an instant the whole weight on my mind was lifted off it. I felt mistress of myself again—I understood him at last.
“In an instant, all the pressure on my mind was lifted. I felt in control of myself again—I finally understood him.”
“‘Do you know what this is?’ he asked. ‘Do you remember what I said to you at Thorpe Ambrose about Allan’s Dream? I told you then that two out of the three Visions had already come true. I tell you now that the third Vision has been fulfilled in this house to-night.’
“‘Do you know what this is?’ he asked. ‘Do you remember what I told you at Thorpe Ambrose about Allan’s Dream? I mentioned back then that two out of the three Visions had already come true. I’m telling you now that the third Vision has been fulfilled in this house tonight.’”
“He turned over the leaves of the manuscript, and pointed to the lines that he wished me to read.
“He flipped through the pages of the manuscript and pointed to the lines he wanted me to read.
“I read these, or nearly read these words, from the Narrative of the Dream, as Midwinter had taken it down from Armadale’s own lips:
“I read these, or almost read these words, from the Narrative of the Dream, as Midwinter had recorded them from Armadale’s own words:
“‘The darkness opened for the third time, and showed me the Shadow of the Man and the Shadow of the Woman together. The Man-Shade was the nearest; the Woman-Shadow stood back. From where she stood, I heard a sound like the pouring out of a liquid softly. I saw her touch the Shadow of the Man with one hand, and give him a glass with the other. He took the glass and handed it to me. At the moment when I put it to my lips, a deadly faintness overcame me. When I recovered my senses again, the Shadows had vanished, and the Vision was at an end.’
“‘The darkness opened for the third time and revealed the Shadow of the Man and the Shadow of the Woman together. The Man-Shade was closest, while the Woman-Shadow stood back. From where she was, I heard a sound like liquid pouring softly. I saw her touch the Shadow of the Man with one hand and give him a glass with the other. He took the glass and handed it to me. As I brought it to my lips, a deadly faintness overcame me. When I regained my senses, the Shadows had disappeared, and the Vision was over.’”
“For the moment, I was as completely staggered by this extraordinary coincidence as Midwinter himself.
“For the moment, I was just as completely shocked by this incredible coincidence as Midwinter was.”
“He put one hand on the open narrative and laid the other heavily on my arm.
“He placed one hand on the open story and laid the other heavily on my arm.
“‘Now do you understand my motive in coming here?’ he asked. ‘Now do you see that the last hope I had to cling to was the hope that your memory of the night’s events might prove my memory to be wrong? Now do you know why I won’t help Allan? Why I won’t sail with him? Why I am plotting and lying, and making you plot and lie too, to keep my best and dearest friend out of the house?’
“‘Do you get why I came here?’ he asked. ‘Do you see that my last hope was to rely on your memory of what happened that night to prove my memory wrong? Now do you understand why I won’t help Allan? Why I won’t go with him? Why I’m scheming and lying, and getting you to do the same, to keep my closest friend out of the house?’”
“‘Have you forgotten Mr. Brock’s letter?’ I asked.
“‘Have you forgotten Mr. Brock’s letter?’ I asked.
“He struck his hand passionately on the open manuscript. ‘If Mr. Brook had lived to see what we have seen to-night he would have felt what I feel, he would have said what I say!’ His voice sank mysteriously, and his great black eyes glittered at me as he made that answer. ‘Thrice the Shadows of the Vision warned Allan in his sleep,’ he went on; ‘and thrice those Shadows have been embodied in the after-time by You and by Me! You, and no other, stood in the Woman’s place at the pool. I, and no other, stood in the Man’s place at the window. And you and I together, when the last Vision showed the Shadows together, stand in the Man’s place and the Woman’s place still! For this, the miserable day dawned when you and I first met. For this, your influence drew me to you, when my better angel warned me to fly the sight of your face. There is a curse on our lives! there is a fatality in our footsteps! Allan’s future depends on his separation from us at once and forever. Drive him from the place we live in, and the air we breathe. Force him among strangers—the worst and wickedest of them will be more harmless to him than we are! Let his yacht sail, though he goes on his knees to ask us, without you and without me; and let him know how I loved him in another world than this, where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest!’
“He slammed his hand passionately on the open manuscript. ‘If Mr. Brook had lived to see what we’ve witnessed tonight, he would have felt what I feel; he would have said what I say!’ His voice dropped mysteriously, and his intense black eyes sparkled at me as he spoke. ‘Three times the Shadows of the Vision warned Allan in his sleep,’ he continued; ‘and three times those Shadows have been manifested in the future by You and by Me! You, and no one else, stood in the Woman’s place at the pool. I, and no one else, stood in the Man’s place at the window. And you and I together, when the last Vision showed the Shadows together, still stand in the Man’s place and the Woman’s place! For this, the miserable day began when you and I first met. For this, your influence drew me to you when my better judgment urged me to run from the sight of your face. There is a curse on our lives! there is a fatality in our footsteps! Allan’s future depends on his separation from us right now and forever. Drive him away from the place we live in and the air we breathe. Push him among strangers—the worst and most wicked of them will be less harmful to him than we are! Let his yacht set sail, even if he begs us on his knees, without you and without me; and let him know how I loved him in another world, where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest!’”
“His grief conquered him; his voice broke into a sob when he spoke those last words. He took the Narrative of the Dream from the table, and left me as abruptly as he had come in.
“His grief overwhelmed him; his voice cracked into a sob when he said those last words. He grabbed the Narrative of the Dream from the table and left me as suddenly as he had arrived.”
“As I heard his door locked between us, my mind went back to what he had said to me about myself. In remembering ‘the miserable day’ when we first saw each other, and ‘the better angel’ that had warned him to ‘fly the sight of my face,’ I forgot all else. It doesn’t matter what I felt—I wouldn’t own it, even if I had a friend to speak to. Who cares for the misery of such a woman as I am? who believes in it? Besides, he spoke under the influence of a mad superstition that has got possession of him again. There is every excuse for him—there is no excuse for me. If I can’t help being fond of him through it all, I must take the consequences and suffer. I deserve to suffer; I deserve neither love nor pity from anybody.—Good heavens, what a fool I am! And how unnatural all this would be, if it was written in a book!
“As I heard his door lock between us, my mind went back to what he had said about me. Remembering ‘the miserable day’ when we first met and ‘the better angel’ who warned him to ‘stay away from my face,’ I forgot everything else. It doesn’t matter what I felt—I wouldn’t admit it, even if I had a friend to talk to. Who cares about the misery of someone like me? Who believes it? Besides, he was speaking under the influence of a crazy superstition that has taken hold of him again. There’s every excuse for him—there’s no excuse for me. If I can’t help being fond of him through all this, I have to deal with the consequences and suffer. I deserve to suffer; I deserve neither love nor pity from anyone.—Good heavens, what a fool I am! And how strange all this would be if it were written in a book!
“It has struck one. I can hear Midwinter still, pacing to and fro in his room.
“It has struck one. I can still hear Midwinter, pacing back and forth in his room.
“He is thinking, I suppose? Well! I can think too. What am I to do next? I shall wait and see. Events take odd turns sometimes; and events may justify the fatalism of the amiable man in the next room, who curses the day when he first saw my face. He may live to curse it for other reasons than he has now. If I am the Woman pointed at in the Dream, there will be another temptation put in my way before long; and there will be no brandy in Armadale’s lemonade if I mix it for him a second time.”
“He's thinking, I guess? Well! I can think too. What should I do next? I'll just wait and see. Things can take unexpected turns sometimes, and those events might validate the fatalism of the nice guy in the next room, who regrets the day he first saw my face. He might end up regretting it for different reasons than he does now. If I am the Woman mentioned in the Dream, another temptation will come my way soon; and there won't be any brandy in Armadale’s lemonade if I mix it for him a second time.”
“October 24th.—Barely twelve hours have passed since I wrote my yesterday’s entry; and that other temptation has come, tried, and conquered me already!
“October 24th.—It's hardly been twelve hours since I wrote yesterday's entry; and that other temptation has come, tested me, and already won!
“This time there was no alternative. Instant exposure and ruin stared me in the face: I had no choice but to yield in my own defense. In plainer words still, it was no accidental resemblance that startled me at the theater last night. The chorus-singer at the opera was Manuel himself!
“This time there was no alternative. Immediate exposure and disaster were staring me down: I had no choice but to surrender for my own protection. To put it even more clearly, it wasn’t just a strange coincidence that shocked me at the theater last night. The chorus singer at the opera was Manuel himself!
“Not ten minutes after Midwinter had left the sitting-room for his study, the woman of the house came in with a dirty little three-cornered note in her hand. One look at the writing on the address was enough. He had recognized me in the box; and the ballet between the acts of the opera had given him time to trace me home. I drew that plain conclusion in the moment that elapsed before I opened the letter. It informed me, in two lines, that he was waiting in a by-street leading to the beach; and that, if I failed to make my appearance in ten minutes, he should interpret my absence as my invitation to him to call at the house.
“Not ten minutes after Midwinter had left the living room for his study, the woman of the house came in with a dirty little triangular note in her hand. One look at the writing on the address was enough. He had recognized me in the audience; and the ballet between acts of the opera had given him time to figure out where I lived. I reached that simple conclusion in the brief moment before I opened the letter. It said, in two lines, that he was waiting in a side street leading to the beach; and that, if I didn’t show up in ten minutes, he would take my absence as an invitation to come to the house.
“What I went through yesterday must have hardened me, I suppose. At any rate, after reading the letter, I felt more like the woman I once was than I have felt for months past. I put on my bonnet and went downstairs, and left the house as if nothing had happened.
“What I went through yesterday must have toughened me, I guess. Anyway, after reading the letter, I felt more like the woman I used to be than I have in months. I put on my hat and went downstairs, leaving the house as if nothing had happened.
“He was waiting for me at the entrance to the street.
“He was waiting for me at the street entrance.
“In the instant when we stood face to face, all my wretched life with him came back to me. I thought of my trust that he had betrayed; I thought of the cruel mockery of a marriage that he had practiced on me, when he knew that he had a wife living; I thought of the time when I had felt despair enough at his desertion of me to attempt my own life. When I recalled all this, and when the comparison between Midwinter and the mean, miserable villain whom I had once believed in forced itself into my mind, I knew for the first time what a woman feels when every atom of respect for herself has left her. If he had personally insulted me at that moment, I believe I should have submitted to it.
“In that moment we faced each other, all the pain of my life with him flooded back. I thought about the trust he had broken; I thought about the cruel joke of a marriage he had played on me, knowing he had a wife already; I thought about the time I felt so hopeless at his abandonment that I tried to take my own life. As I remembered all this, and as the comparison between Midwinter and the pathetic, miserable man I had once believed in became clear in my mind, I realized for the first time what it feels like for a woman when she has lost all respect for herself. If he had personally insulted me then, I think I would have just taken it.”
“But he had no idea of insulting me, in the more brutal meaning of the word. He had me at his mercy, and his way of making me feel it was to behave with an elaborate mockery of penitence and respect. I let him speak as he pleased, without interrupting him, without looking at him a second time, without even allowing my dress to touch him, as we walked together toward the quieter part of the beach. I had noticed the wretched state of his clothes, and the greedy glitter in his eyes, in my first look at him. And I knew it would end—as it did end—in a demand on me for money.
“But he didn’t mean to insult me in the harshest way possible. He had total power over me, and his method of showing it was through a complicated act of false humility and respect. I let him talk as he wanted, without interrupting, without giving him a second glance, and without even letting my dress brush against him while we walked toward the quieter part of the beach. I had noticed how ragged his clothes were and the eager sparkle in his eyes the first time I looked at him. And I knew it would come to an end—just as it did—with him asking me for money.”
“Yes! After taking from me the last farthing I possessed of my own, and the last farthing I could extort for him from my old mistress, he turned on me as we stood by the margin of the sea, and asked if I could reconcile it to my conscience to let him be wearing such a coat as he then had on his back, and earning his miserable living as a chorus-singer at the opera!
“Yes! After taking every last penny I had to my name, and the final amount I could squeeze out of my old boss, he confronted me while we were standing by the edge of the sea and asked if I could justify in my conscience letting him wear such a coat as he had on and scrape by as a chorus singer at the opera!”
“My disgust, rather than my indignation, roused me into speaking to him at last.
“My disgust, instead of my anger, finally pushed me to talk to him.”
“‘You want money,’ I said. ‘Suppose I am too poor to give it to you?’
“‘You want money,’ I said. ‘What if I’m too broke to give it to you?’”
“‘In that case,’ he replied, ‘I shall be forced to remember that you are a treasure in yourself. And I shall be under the painful necessity of pressing my claim to you on the attention of one of those two gentlemen whom I saw with you at the opera—the gentleman, of course, who is now honored by your preference, and who lives provisionally in the light of your smiles.’
“‘In that case,’ he replied, ‘I’ll have to remember that you are a treasure in your own right. And I’ll unfortunately need to bring my claim to your attention to one of those two gentlemen I saw with you at the opera—the one, of course, who you currently favor and who resides in the glow of your smiles.’”
“I made him no answer, for I had no answer to give. Disputing his right to claim me from anybody would have been a mere waste of words. He knew as well as I did that he had not the shadow of a claim on me. But the mere attempt to raise it would, as he was well aware, lead necessarily to the exposure of my whole past life.
“I didn’t respond to him because I had no answer. Arguing his right to take me from anyone would have been pointless. He knew just as well as I did that he didn’t have any sort of claim on me. But even trying to bring it up would, as he knew, inevitably reveal my entire past.”
“Still keeping silence, I looked out over the sea. I don’t know why, except that I instinctively looked anywhere rather than look at him.
“Still keeping silent, I gazed out at the sea. I don’t know why, except that I instinctively looked anywhere but at him.
“A little sailing-boat was approaching the shore. The man steering was hidden from me by the sail; but the boat was so near that I thought I recognized the flag on the mast. I looked at my watch. Yes! It was Armadale coming over from Santa Lucia at his usual time, to visit us in his usual way.
“A small sailboat was coming toward the shore. I couldn’t see the man steering it because the sail was in the way, but the boat was close enough that I thought I recognized the flag on the mast. I checked my watch. Yes! It was Armadale coming over from Santa Lucia at his usual time, to visit us in his typical way.
“Before I had put my watch back in my belt, the means of extricating myself from the frightful position I was placed in showed themselves to me as plainly as I see them now.
“Before I had put my watch back in my belt, the ways to get myself out of the terrifying situation I was in became clear to me just like I see them now.
“I turned and led the way to the higher part of the beach, where some fishing-boats were drawn up which completely screened us from the view of any one landing on the shore below. Seeing probably that I had a purpose of some kind, Manuel followed me without uttering a word. As soon as we were safely under the shelter of the boats, I forced myself, in my own defense, to look at him again.
“I turned and led the way to the upper part of the beach, where some fishing boats were pulled up, completely blocking us from the view of anyone coming onto the shore below. Noticing that I had some kind of purpose, Manuel followed me without saying a word. Once we were safely under the cover of the boats, I made myself look at him again, for my own sake.”
“‘What should you say,’ I asked, ‘if I was rich instead of poor? What should you say if I could afford to give you a hundred pounds?’
“‘What would you say,’ I asked, ‘if I were rich instead of poor? What would you say if I could afford to give you a hundred pounds?’”
“He started. I saw plainly that he had not expected so much as half the sum I had mentioned. It is needless to add that his tongue lied, while his face spoke the truth, and that when he replied to me the answer was, ‘Nothing like enough.’
"He started. I could clearly see that he hadn't expected even half of the amount I had mentioned. It's unnecessary to say that his words were false, while his expression revealed the truth, and when he responded to me, he said, 'Nowhere near enough.'"
“‘Suppose,’ I went on, without taking any notice of what he had said, ‘that I could show you a way of helping yourself to twice as much—three times as much—five times as much as a hundred pounds, are you bold enough to put out your hand and take it?’
“‘What if,’ I continued, ignoring what he had just said, ‘I could show you how to help yourself to twice as much—three times as much—five times as much as a hundred pounds? Are you brave enough to reach out and take it?’”
“The greedy glitter came into his eyes once more. His voice dropped low, in breathless expectation of my next words.
“The greedy shine returned to his eyes once more. His voice dropped to a whisper, filled with breathless anticipation for my next words.
“‘Who is the person?’ he asked. ‘And what is the risk?’
“‘Who is this person?’ he asked. ‘And what's the risk?’”
“I answered him at once, in the plainest terms. I threw Armadale to him, as I might have thrown a piece of meat to a wild beast who was pursuing me.
“I responded immediately, in the simplest way possible. I tossed Armadale to him, as I might have tossed a piece of meat to a wild animal that was chasing me.
“‘The person is a rich young Englishman,’ I said. ‘He has just hired the yacht called the Dorothea, in the harbor here; and he stands in need of a sailing-master and a crew. You were once an officer in the Spanish navy—you speak English and Italian perfectly—you are thoroughly well acquainted with Naples and all that belongs to it. The rich young Englishman is ignorant of the language, and the interpreter who assists him knows nothing of the sea. He is at his wits’ end for want of useful help in this strange place; he has no more knowledge of the world than that child who is digging holes with a stick there in the sand; and he carries all his money with him in circular notes. So much for the person. As for the risk, estimate it for yourself.’
“The person is a wealthy young Englishman,” I said. “He just rented a yacht called the Dorothea in the harbor here, and he needs a sailing master and a crew. You were once an officer in the Spanish navy—you speak English and Italian perfectly—you know Naples and everything about it really well. The rich young Englishman doesn’t speak the language, and the interpreter he has doesn’t know anything about the sea. He’s completely at a loss for good help in this unfamiliar place; he knows about as much of the world as that child digging holes with a stick over there in the sand; and he’s carrying all his money in circular notes. So much for the person. As for the risk, you can assess that for yourself.”
“The greedy glitter in his eyes grew brighter and brighter with every word I said. He was plainly ready to face the risk before I had done speaking.
“The greedy sparkle in his eyes got brighter and brighter with every word I said. He was clearly ready to take the risk before I even finished speaking.
“‘When can I see the Englishman?’ he asked, eagerly.
“‘When can I see the Englishman?’ he asked, excitedly.
“I moved to the seaward end of the fishing-boat, and saw that Armadale was at that moment disembarking on the shore.
“I moved to the edge of the fishing boat and saw that Armadale was just getting off on the shore.”
“‘You can see him now,’ I answered, and pointed to the place.
“‘You can see him now,’ I replied, and pointed to the spot.
“After a long look at Armadale walking carelessly up the slope of the beach, Manuel drew back again under the shelter of the boat. He waited a moment, considering something carefully with himself, and put another question to me, in a whisper this time.
“After watching Armadale stroll casually up the beach for a while, Manuel stepped back under the cover of the boat. He paused for a moment, pondering something seriously, and asked me another question, this time in a whisper."
“‘When the vessel is manned,’ he said, ‘and the Englishman sails from Naples, how many friends sail with him?’
“‘When the ship is crewed,’ he said, ‘and the Englishman departs from Naples, how many friends accompany him?’”
“‘He has but two friends here,’ I replied; ‘that other gentleman whom you saw with me at the opera, and myself. He will invite us both to sail with him; and when the time comes, we shall both refuse.’
“‘He only has two friends here,’ I replied; ‘the other guy you saw with me at the opera, and me. He’ll invite us both to go sailing with him; and when the time comes, we’ll both say no.’”
“‘Do you answer for that?’
"Are you responsible for that?"
“‘I answer for it positively.’
“I guarantee it.”
“He walked a few steps away, and stood with his face hidden from me, thinking again. All I could see was that he took off his hat and passed his handkerchief over his forehead. All I could hear was that he talked to himself excitedly in his own language.
“He walked a few steps away and stood with his face turned away from me, thinking again. All I could see was that he took off his hat and wiped his forehead with his handkerchief. All I could hear was that he was excitedly talking to himself in his own language.
“There was a change in him when he came back. His face had turned to a livid yellow, and his eyes looked at me with a hideous distrust.
“There was a change in him when he came back. His face had turned a sickly yellow, and his eyes looked at me with a terrible distrust.
“‘One last question,’ he said, and suddenly came closer to me, suddenly spoke with a marked emphasis on his next words: ‘What is your interest in this?’
“‘One last question,’ he said, suddenly moving closer to me, and spoke with strong emphasis on his next words: ‘What is your interest in this?’”
“I started back from him. The question reminded me that I had an interest in the matter, which was entirely unconnected with the interest of keeping Manuel and Midwinter apart. Thus far I had only remembered that Midwinter’s fatalism had smoothed the way for me, by abandoning Armadale beforehand to any stranger who might come forward to help him. Thus far the sole object I had kept in view was to protect myself, by the sacrifice of Armadale, from the exposure that threatened me. I tell no lies to my Diary. I don’t affect to have felt a moment’s consideration for the interests of Armadale’s purse or the safety of Armadale’s life. I hated him too savagely to care what pitfalls my tongue might be the means of opening under his feet. But I certainly did not see (until that last question was put to me) that, in serving his own designs, Manuel might—if he dared go all lengths for the money—be serving my designs too. The one overpowering anxiety to protect myself from exposure before Midwinter had (I suppose) filled all my mind, to the exclusion of everything else.
I stepped back from him. The question reminded me that I actually had an interest in the situation, which had nothing to do with keeping Manuel and Midwinter apart. Until now, I had only remembered that Midwinter’s fatalism had made things easier for me by giving up Armadale in advance to any stranger willing to help him. Up to this point, my only focus had been to protect myself by sacrificing Armadale to avoid the exposure that threatened me. I’m honest with my Diary. I’m not pretending to have cared for Armadale’s finances or his life. I hated him too much to worry about what traps my words might set for him. However, I didn’t realize (until that last question was asked) that in pursuing his own goals, Manuel might—if he was bold enough for the money—be advancing my goals too. The overpowering need to protect myself from exposure in front of Midwinter had, I guess, taken over my mind, blocking out everything else.
“Finding that I made no reply for the moment, Manuel reiterated his question, putting it in a new form.
“Noticing that I didn't answer right away, Manuel repeated his question, phrasing it differently.”
“‘You have cast your Englishman at me,’ he said, ‘like the sop to Cerberus. Would you have been quite so ready to do that if you had not had a motive of your own? I repeat my question. You have an interest in this—what is it?’
“‘You’ve thrown your Englishman at me,’ he said, ‘like a bribe for Cerberus. Would you have been so quick to do that if you didn’t have your own agenda? I’ll ask again. You’re interested in this—what is it?’”
“‘I have two interests,’ I answered. ‘The interest of forcing you to respect my position here, and the interest of ridding myself of the sight of you at once and forever!’ I spoke with a boldness he had not yet heard from me. The sense that I was making the villain an instrument in my hands, and forcing him to help my purpose blindly, while he was helping his own, roused my spirits, and made me feel like myself again.
“‘I have two interests,’ I replied. ‘One is to make you respect my position here, and the other is to get rid of the sight of you once and for all!’ I said this with a confidence he hadn’t heard from me before. The feeling that I was turning the villain into a tool for my own goals, while he thought he was serving his own, lifted my spirits and made me feel like myself again.
“He laughed. ‘Strong language, on certain occasions, is a lady’s privilege,’ he said. ‘You may, or may not, rid yourself of the sight of me, at once and forever. We will leave that question to be settled in the future. But your other interest in this matter puzzles me. You have told me all I need know about the Englishman and his yacht, and you have made no conditions before you opened your lips. Pray, how are you to force me, as you say, to respect your position here?’
“He laughed. ‘Using strong language sometimes is a woman’s privilege,’ he said. ‘You might, or might not, get rid of me, right now and for good. We’ll let that question be answered later. But your other interest in this situation confuses me. You’ve shared everything I need to know about the Englishman and his yacht, and you didn’t set any conditions before you started talking. So, how exactly are you planning to make me, as you put it, respect your position here?’”
“‘I will tell you how,’ I rejoined. ‘You shall hear my conditions first. I insist on your leaving me in five minutes more. I insist on your never again coming near the house where I live; and I forbid your attempting to communicate in any way either with me or with that other gentleman whom you saw with me at the theater—’
“‘I'll tell you how,’ I replied. ‘You need to hear my conditions first. I insist that you leave me in five more minutes. I insist that you never come near the house where I live again; and I forbid you from trying to communicate in any way with me or with that other guy you saw with me at the theater—’”
“‘And suppose I say no?’ he interposed. ‘In that case, what will you do?’
“‘And what if I say no?’ he interrupted. ‘In that case, what will you do?’”
“‘In that case,’ I answered, ‘I shall say two words in private to the rich young Englishman, and you will find yourself back again among the chorus at the opera.’
“‘In that case,’ I replied, ‘I'll have a quick chat with the wealthy young Englishman, and you’ll find yourself back in the chorus at the opera.’”
“‘You are a bold woman to take it for granted that I have my designs on the Englishman already, and that I am certain to succeed in them. How do you know—?’
“‘You’re really bold to assume that I already have my plans for the Englishman and that I’m guaranteed to succeed. How do you know—?’”
“‘I know you,’ I said. ‘And that is enough.’
“‘I know you,’ I said. ‘And that’s enough.’”
“There was a moment’s silence between us. He looked at me, and I looked at him. We understood each other.
“There was a moment of silence between us. He looked at me, and I looked at him. We understood each other.
“He was the first to speak. The villainous smile died out of his face, and his voice dropped again distrustfully to its lowest tones.
“He was the first to speak. The sinister smile faded from his face, and his voice dropped again, filled with distrust, to its lowest tones.
“‘I accept your terms,’ he said. ‘As long as your lips are closed, my lips shall be closed too—except in the event of my finding that you have deceived me; in which case the bargain is at an end, and you will see me again. I shall present myself to the Englishman to-morrow, with the necessary credentials to establish me in his confidence. Tell me his name?’
“‘I accept your terms,’ he said. ‘As long as you keep quiet, I will too—unless I find out that you’ve lied to me; in that case, the deal is off, and you’ll see me again. I’ll meet with the Englishman tomorrow, with the credentials I need to gain his trust. What’s his name?’”
“I told it.
“I said it.
“‘Give me his address?’
“Can I have his address?”
“I gave it, and turned to leave him. Before I had stepped out of the shelter of the boats, I heard him behind me again.
“I handed it over and started to walk away. Before I could fully step out from under the boats, I heard him behind me again.
“‘One last word,’ he said. ‘Accidents sometimes happen at sea. Have you interest enough in the Englishman—if an accident happens in his case—to wish to know what has become of him?’
“‘One last thing,’ he said. ‘Accidents can happen at sea. Are you interested enough in the Englishman—if something happens to him—to want to know what happened?’”
“I stopped, and considered on my side. I had plainly failed to persuade him that I had no secret to serve in placing Armadale’s money and (as a probable consequence) Armadale’s life at his mercy. And it was now equally clear that he was cunningly attempting to associate himself with my private objects (whatever they might be) by opening a means of communication between us in the future. There could be no hesitation about how to answer him under such circumstances as these. If the ‘accident’ at which he hinted did really happen to Armadale, I stood in no need of Manuel’s intervention to give me the intelligence of it. An easy search through the obituary columns of the English papers would tell me the news—with the great additional advantage that the papers might be relied on, in such a matter as this, to tell the truth. I formally thanked Manuel, and declined to accept his proposal. ‘Having no interest in the Englishman,’ I said, ‘I have no wish whatever to know what becomes of him.’
“I stopped and thought about it. I had clearly failed to convince him that I had no secret motive for putting Armadale’s money and (as a likely result) Armadale’s life in his hands. It was now also clear that he was cleverly trying to link himself to my personal interests (whatever they may be) by establishing a way for us to communicate in the future. There was no doubt about how to respond to him in this situation. If the ‘accident’ he hinted at really did happen to Armadale, I didn’t need Manuel’s help to find out about it. A simple look through the obituary columns of the English papers would provide the news—with the added benefit that I could trust the papers to report the truth on this matter. I formally thanked Manuel and turned down his offer. ‘Since I have no interest in the Englishman,’ I said, ‘I have no desire to know what happens to him.’”
“He looked at me for a moment with steady attention, and with an interest in me which he had not shown yet.
“He looked at me for a moment with focused attention, showing an interest in me that he hadn't shown before."
“‘What the game you are playing may be,’ he rejoined, speaking slowly and significantly, ‘I don’t pretend to know. But I venture on a prophecy, nevertheless—you will win it! If we ever meet again, remember I said that.’ He took off his hat, and bowed to me gravely. ‘Go your way, madam. And leave me to go mine!’
“‘I don’t know what game you’re playing,’ he responded, speaking slowly and with intention, ‘but I’m willing to make a prediction—you’ll win it! If we ever cross paths again, remember I said that.’ He took off his hat and bowed to me seriously. ‘Go your way, madam. And let me go mine!’”
“With those words, he released me from the sight of him. I waited a minute alone, to recover myself in the air, and then returned to the house.
“With those words, he turned away from me. I took a moment alone to gather myself, and then went back to the house.”
“The first object that met my eyes, on entering the sitting-room, was—Armadale himself!
“The first thing I saw when I walked into the living room was—Armadale himself!
“He was waiting on the chance of seeing me, to beg that I would exert my influence with his friend. I made the needful inquiry as to what he meant, and found that Midwinter had spoken as he had warned me he would speak when he and Armadale next met. He had announced that he was unable to finish his work for the newspaper as soon as he had hoped; and he had advised Armadale to find a crew for the yacht without waiting for any assistance on his part.
“He was waiting for the opportunity to see me, to ask if I could help out with his friend. I asked what he meant, and found out that Midwinter had said exactly what he had warned me he would say when he and Armadale met again. He had mentioned that he couldn't finish his work for the newspaper as soon as he had hoped; and he had suggested that Armadale should find a crew for the yacht without waiting for any help from him.”
“All that it was necessary for me to do, on hearing this, was to perform the promise I had made to Midwinter, when he gave me my directions how to act in the matter. Armadale’s vexation on finding me resolved not to interfere expressed itself in the form of all others that is most personally offensive to me. He declined to believe my reiterated assurances that I possessed no influence to exert in his favor. ‘If I was married to Neelie,’ he said, ‘she could do anything she liked with me; and I am sure, when you choose, you can do anything you like with Midwinter.’ If the infatuated fool had actually tried to stifle the last faint struggles of remorse and pity left stirring in my heart, he could have said nothing more fatally to the purpose than this! I gave him a look which effectually silenced him, so far as I was concerned. He went out of the room grumbling and growling to himself. ‘It’s all very well to talk about manning the yacht. I don’t speak a word of their gibberish here; and the interpreter thinks a fisherman and a sailor means the same thing. Hang me if I know what to do with the vessel, now I have got her!’
“All I needed to do, upon hearing this, was to follow through on the promise I made to Midwinter when he instructed me on how to handle the situation. Armadale's frustration at finding me determined not to get involved came out in the most personally offensive way possible. He refused to believe my repeated assurances that I had no influence to help him. ‘If I were married to Neelie,’ he said, ‘she could do whatever she wanted with me; and I’m sure, when you want to, you can do anything you want with Midwinter.’ If the deluded fool had truly aimed to crush the last remnants of remorse and pity still lingering in my heart, he couldn’t have said anything more damaging than that! I shot him a look that effectively silenced him as far as I was concerned. He left the room muttering and grumbling to himself. ‘It’s all well and good to talk about getting the yacht ready. I don’t understand a word of their jargon here; and the interpreter thinks a fisherman and a sailor mean the same thing. I swear I have no idea what to do with the boat now that I have it!’”
“He will probably know by to-morrow. And if he only comes here as usual, I shall know too!”
“He will probably find out by tomorrow. And if he just comes here like always, I’ll know too!”
“October 25th.—Ten at night.—Manuel has got him!
“October 25th.—Ten at night.—Manuel has caught him!
“He has just left us, after staying here more than an hour, and talking the whole time of nothing but his own wonderful luck in finding the very help he wanted, at the time when he needed it most.
“He just left us after being here for over an hour, talking the whole time about how lucky he was to find exactly the help he needed right when he needed it most.”
“At noon to-day he was on the Mole, it seems, with his interpreter, trying vainly to make himself understood by the vagabond population of the water-side. Just as he was giving it up in despair, a stranger standing by (Manuel had followed him, I suppose, to the Mole from his hotel) kindly interfered to put things right. He said, ‘I speak your language and their language, sir. I know Naples well; and I have been professionally accustomed to the sea. Can I help you?’ The inevitable result followed. Armadale shifted all his difficulties on to the shoulders of the polite stranger, in his usual helpless, headlong way. His new friend, however, insisted, in the most honorable manner, on complying with the customary formalities before he would consent to take the matter into his own hands. He begged leave to wait on Mr. Armadale, with his testimonials to character and capacity. The same afternoon he had come by appointment to the hotel, with all his papers, and with ‘the saddest story’ of his sufferings and privations as ‘a political refugee’ that Armadale had ever heard. The interview was decisive. Manuel left the hotel, commissioned to find a crew for the yacht, and to fill the post of sailing-master on the trial cruise.
“At noon today, he was at the Mole with his interpreter, trying unsuccessfully to communicate with the homeless people by the waterfront. Just when he was about to give up in frustration, a stranger nearby (I suppose Manuel followed him from his hotel to the Mole) kindly stepped in to help. He said, 'I speak your language and theirs, sir. I know Naples well, and I've worked at sea professionally. Can I assist you?' Naturally, this led to Armadale transferring all his issues onto the polite stranger, as he usually does in his helpless, impulsive way. However, his new friend insisted, in a very honorable manner, on following the usual formalities before he agreed to take over the situation. He asked to meet with Mr. Armadale to present his credentials and qualifications. That same afternoon, he showed up at the hotel as scheduled, bringing all his documents and sharing 'the saddest story' of his struggles and hardships as 'a political refugee' that Armadale had ever heard. The meeting was crucial. Manuel left the hotel, assigned to find a crew for the yacht and to serve as the sailing master on the trial cruise.”
“I watched Midwinter anxiously, while Armadale was telling us these particulars, and afterward, when he produced the new sailing-master’s testimonials, which he had brought with him for his friend to see.
“I watched Midwinter anxiously while Armadale was sharing these details with us, and later, when he showed the new sailing-master’s references that he had brought for his friend to see.”
“For the moment, Midwinter’s superstitious misgivings seemed to be all lost in his natural anxiety for his friend. He examined the stranger’s papers—after having told me that the sooner Armadale was in the hands of strangers the better!—with the closest scrutiny and the most business-like distrust. It is needless to say that the credentials were as perfectly regular and satisfactory as credentials could be. When Midwinter handed them back, his color rose: he seemed to feel the inconsistency of his conduct, and to observe for the first time that I was present noticing it. ‘There is nothing to object to in the testimonials, Allan: I am glad you have got the help you want at last.’ That was all he said at parting. As soon as Armadale’s back was turned, I saw no more of him. He has locked himself up again for the night, in his own room.
“For now, Midwinter’s superstitious worries seemed completely overshadowed by his genuine concern for his friend. He carefully examined the stranger’s papers—after telling me that the sooner Armadale was in the hands of strangers, the better!—with intense scrutiny and a very business-like skepticism. It’s unnecessary to mention that the credentials were as perfectly valid and satisfactory as they could be. When Midwinter handed them back, his face flushed; he seemed to recognize the inconsistency of his actions and noticed for the first time that I was there observing it. ‘There’s nothing to object to in the testimonials, Allan: I’m glad you’ve finally got the help you need,’ was all he said before we parted ways. As soon as Armadale turned his back, I didn’t see him again. He locked himself away for the night in his own room."
“There is now—so far as I am concerned—but one anxiety left. When the yacht is ready for sea, and when I decline to occupy the lady’s cabin, will Midwinter hold to his resolution, and refuse to sail without me?”
“There is now—so far as I’m concerned—only one worry left. When the yacht is ready to set sail, and when I decide not to take the lady’s cabin, will Midwinter stick to his decision and refuse to sail without me?”
“October 26th.—Warnings already of the coming ordeal. A letter from Armadale to Midwinter, which Midwinter has just sent in to me. Here it is:
“October 26th.—Already getting warnings about the upcoming challenge. I received a letter from Armadale to Midwinter, which Midwinter has just forwarded to me. Here it is:
“‘DEAR MID—I am too busy to come to-day. Get on with your work, for Heaven’s sake! The new sailing-master is a man of ten thousand. He has got an Englishman whom he knows to serve as mate on board already; and he is positively certain of getting the crew together in three or four days’ time. I am dying for a whiff of the sea, and so are you, or you are no sailor. The rigging is set up, the stores are coming on board, and we shall bend the sails to-morrow or next day. I never was in such spirits in my life. Remember me to your wife, and tell her she will be doing me a favor if she will come at once, and order everything she wants in the lady’s cabin. Yours affectionately, A. A.’
“‘DEAR MID—I’m too busy to come today. Get on with your work, for heaven’s sake! The new sailing master is amazing. He already has an Englishman he knows as the mate on board, and he’s sure he can gather the crew in three or four days. I’m dying for a whiff of the sea, and so are you, or you’re not really a sailor. The rigging is set up, the supplies are coming on board, and we’ll be bending the sails tomorrow or the next day. I’ve never been in such great spirits in my life. Remember me to your wife, and tell her it would be a favor if she would come right away and order everything she wants in the lady’s cabin. Yours affectionately, A. A.’”
“Under this was written, in Midwinter’s hand: ‘Remember what I told you. Write (it will break it to him more gently in that way), and beg him to accept your apologies, and to excuse you from sailing on the trial cruise.’
“Under this was written, in Midwinter’s hand: ‘Remember what I told you. Write (it will break it to him more gently in that way), and ask him to accept your apologies, and to excuse you from going on the trial cruise.’”
“I have written without a moment’s loss of time. The sooner Manuel knows (which he is certain to do through Armadale) that the promise not to sail in the yacht is performed already, so far as I am concerned, the safer I shall feel.”
“I’ve written without wasting any time. The sooner Manuel finds out (which he definitely will through Armadale) that I’ve already kept my promise not to sail on the yacht, the safer I’ll feel.”
“October 27th.—A letter from Armadale, in answer to mine. He is full of ceremonious regrets at the loss of my company on the cruise; and he politely hopes that Midwinter may yet induce me to alter my mind. Wait a little, till he finds that Midwinter won’t sail with him either!....
“October 27th.—I got a letter from Armadale in response to mine. He expresses formal regrets about missing my company on the cruise and politely hopes that Midwinter can persuade me to change my mind. Just wait a little until he realizes that Midwinter isn’t going to sail with him either!...
“October 30th.—Nothing new to record until to-day. To-day the change in our lives here has come at last!
“October 30th.—Nothing new to report until today. Today, the change in our lives here has finally arrived!”
“Armadale presented himself this morning, in his noisiest high spirits, to announce that the yacht was ready for sea, and to ask when Midwinter would be able to go on board. I told him to make the inquiry himself in Midwinter’s room. He left me, with a last request that I would consider my refusal to sail with him. I answered by a last apology for persisting in my resolution, and then took a chair alone at the window to wait the event of the interview in the next room.
“Armadale showed up this morning, in his loudest high spirits, to say that the yacht was ready to set sail and to ask when Midwinter could come on board. I told him to ask Midwinter himself in his room. He left me, with one final request for me to think about my refusal to sail with him. I replied with one last apology for sticking to my decision, and then I took a seat by the window to wait for the outcome of the meeting in the next room.”
“My whole future depended now on what passed between Midwinter and his friend! Everything had gone smoothly up to this time. The one danger to dread was the danger of Midwinter’s resolution, or rather of Midwinter’s fatalism, giving way at the last moment. If he allowed himself to be persuaded into accompanying Armadale on the cruise, Manuel’s exasperation against me would hesitate at nothing—he would remember that I had answered to him for Armadale’s sailing from Naples alone; and he would be capable of exposing my whole past life to Midwinter before the vessel left the port. As I thought of this, and as the slow minutes followed each other, and nothing reached my ears but the hum of voices in the next room, my suspense became almost unendurable. It was vain to try and fix my attention on what was going on in the street. I sat looking mechanically out of the window, and seeing nothing.
“My entire future now depended on what happened between Midwinter and his friend! Everything had gone smoothly up to this point. The only real threat was the risk of Midwinter’s resolution, or rather his fatalism, cracking at the last moment. If he let himself be convinced to join Armadale on the cruise, Manuel’s anger towards me would know no bounds—he would remember that I had promised him Armadale would sail alone from Naples; and he would be capable of exposing my entire past to Midwinter before the boat left the port. As I thought about this, and as the slow minutes ticked by, with nothing reaching my ears but the murmur of voices in the next room, my anxiety became almost unbearable. It was pointless to try to focus on what was happening outside. I sat staring blankly out the window, seeing nothing.
“Suddenly—I can’t say in how long or how short a time—the hum of voices ceased; the door opened; and Armadale showed himself on the threshold, alone.
“Suddenly—I can’t say how long or how short it was—the murmur of voices stopped; the door opened; and Armadale appeared in the doorway, by himself.
“‘I wish you good-by,’ he said, roughly. ‘And I hope, when I am married, my wife may never cause Midwinter the disappointment that Midwinter’s wife has caused me!’
“‘I wish you goodbye,’ he said curtly. ‘And I hope that when I'm married, my wife will never cause Midwinter the disappointment that Midwinter’s wife has caused me!’”
“He gave me an angry look, and made me an angry bow, and, turning sharply, left the room.
“He shot me an angry look, gave me a sharp bow, and, turning quickly, left the room.
“I saw the people in the street again! I saw the calm sea, and the masts of the shipping in the harbor where the yacht lay! I could think, I could breathe freely once more! The words that saved me from Manuel—the words that might be Armadale’s sentence of death—had been spoken. The yacht was to sail without Midwinter, as well as without me!
“I saw the people in the street again! I saw the calm ocean, and the masts of the boats in the harbor where the yacht was docked! I could think, I could breathe freely once more! The words that saved me from Manuel—the words that could be Armadale’s death sentence—had been spoken. The yacht was set to sail without Midwinter, as well as without me!
“My first feeling of exultation was almost maddening. But it was the feeling of a moment only. My heart sank in me again when I thought of Midwinter alone in the next room.
“My first feeling of joy was almost overwhelming. But it was just a fleeting moment. My heart sank again when I thought of Midwinter alone in the next room.”
“I went out into the passage to listen, and heard nothing. I tapped gently at his door, and got no answer. I opened the door and looked in. He was sitting at the table, with his face hidden in his hands. I looked at him in silence, and saw the glistening of the tears as they trickled through his fingers.
“I went out into the hallway to listen, and heard nothing. I tapped lightly on his door, but got no response. I opened the door and peeked inside. He was sitting at the table, with his face buried in his hands. I watched him silently and saw the tears glistening as they streamed through his fingers.”
“‘Leave me,’ he said, without moving his hands. ‘I must get over it by myself.’
“‘Leave me,’ he said, without moving his hands. ‘I need to deal with this on my own.’”
“I went back into the sitting-room. Who can understand women? we don’t even understand ourselves. His sending me away from him in that manner cut me to the heart. I don’t believe the most harmless and most gentle woman living could have felt it more acutely than I felt it. And this, after what I have been doing! this, after what I was thinking of, the moment before I went into his room! Who can account for it? Nobody—I least of all!
“I went back into the living room. Who can understand women? We don’t even understand ourselves. His sending me away like that hurt me deeply. I don’t think even the kindest, gentlest woman alive could have felt it more intensely than I did. And this, after everything I’ve been doing! This, after what I was just thinking about right before I went into his room! How can that be explained? No one can—least of all me!”
“Half an hour later his door opened, and I heard him hurrying down the stairs. I ran on without waiting to think, and asked if I might go with him. He neither stopped nor answered. I went back to the window, and saw him pass, walking rapidly away, with his back turned on Naples and the sea.
“Half an hour later, his door opened, and I heard him rushing down the stairs. I quickly ran on without stopping to think and asked if I could go with him. He didn’t stop or reply. I went back to the window and saw him walk quickly away, with his back to Naples and the sea.”
“I can understand now that he might not have heard me. At the time I thought him inexcusably and brutally unkind to me. I put on my bonnet, in a frenzy of rage with him; I sent out for a carriage, and told the man to take me where he liked. He took me, as he took other strangers, to the Museum to see the statues and the pictures. I flounced from room to room, with my face in a flame, and the people all staring at me. I came to myself again, I don’t know how. I returned to the carriage, and made the man drive me back in a violent hurry, I don’t know why. I tossed off my cloak and bonnet, and sat down once more at the window. The sight of the sea cooled me. I forgot Midwinter, and thought of Armadale and his yacht. There wasn’t a breath of wind; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky; the wide waters of the Bay were as smooth as the surface of a glass.
“I can see now that he might not have heard me. At the time, I thought he was unreasonably and brutally unkind to me. I put on my hat, filled with rage towards him; I called for a carriage and told the driver to take me wherever he wanted. He took me, like he took other strangers, to the Museum to see the statues and the paintings. I stormed from room to room, my face burning, with everyone staring at me. I suddenly came to my senses, though I don’t know how. I returned to the carriage and had the driver take me back in a rush, though I couldn’t say why. I tossed off my coat and hat and sat down at the window once more. The view of the sea calmed me. I forgot about Midwinter and thought about Armadale and his yacht. There wasn’t a breath of wind; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky; the vast waters of the Bay were as smooth as glass.”
“The sun sank; the short twilight came and went. I had some tea, and sat at the table thinking and dreaming over it. When I roused myself and went back to the window, the moon was up; but the quiet sea was as quiet as ever.
“The sun set; the brief twilight came and went. I had some tea and sat at the table, thinking and daydreaming. When I pulled myself together and went back to the window, the moon was up; but the calm sea was as calm as ever.”
“I was still looking out, when I saw Midwinter in the street below, coming back. I was composed enough by this time to remember his habits, and to guess that he had been trying to relieve the oppression on his mind by one of his long solitary walks. When I heard him go into his own room, I was too prudent to disturb him again: I waited his pleasure where I was.
“I was still looking out when I saw Midwinter in the street below, coming back. By this time, I was calm enough to remember his habits and guess that he had been trying to ease the weight on his mind with one of his long solitary walks. When I heard him go into his own room, I was smart enough not to disturb him again: I waited where I was for him to be ready.”
“Before long I heard his window opened, and I saw him, from my window, step into the balcony, and, after a look at the sea, hold up his hand to the air. I was too stupid, for the moment, to remember that he had once been a sailor, and to know what this meant. I waited, and wondered what would happen next.
“Before long, I heard his window open, and I saw him from my window step onto the balcony. After glancing at the sea, he raised his hand to the air. I was too dazed at that moment to remember that he had once been a sailor and to understand what this meant. I waited, wondering what would happen next.”
“He went in again; and, after an interval, came out once more, and held up his hand as before to the air. This time he waited, leaning on the balcony rail, and looking out steadily, with all his attention absorbed by the sea.
“He went in again; and after a bit, he came back out and held up his hand to the air like before. This time, he leaned on the balcony rail and stared out, completely focused on the sea.”
“For a long, long time he never moved. Then, on a sudden, I saw him start. The next moment he sank on his knees, with his clasped hands resting on the balcony rail. ‘God Almighty bless and keep you, Allan!’ he said, fervently. ‘Good-by, forever!’
“For a really long time he just stayed still. Then, all of a sudden, I saw him flinch. The next moment he fell to his knees, with his hands together on the balcony rail. ‘God Almighty bless and keep you, Allan!’ he said, passionately. ‘Goodbye, forever!’”
“I looked out to the sea. A soft, steady breeze was blowing, and the rippled surface of the water was sparkling in the quiet moonlight. I looked again, and there passed slowly, between me and the track of the moon, a long black vessel with tall, shadowy, ghostlike sails, gliding smooth and noiseless through the water, like a snake.
“I looked out at the sea. A gentle, steady breeze was blowing, and the rippling surface of the water was sparkling in the calm moonlight. I looked again, and a long black ship with tall, shadowy, ghostly sails slowly passed between me and the path of the moon, gliding smoothly and silently through the water, like a snake.
“The wind had come fair with the night; and Armadale’s yacht had sailed on the trial cruise.”
“The wind had come nice with the night; and Armadale’s yacht had set off on the trial cruise.”
III. THE DIARY BROKEN OFF.
“London, November 19th.—I am alone again in the Great City; alone, for the first time since our marriage. Nearly a week since I started on my homeward journey, leaving Midwinter behind me at Turin.
“London, November 19th.—I am alone again in the Great City; alone, for the first time since our marriage. It’s been nearly a week since I set out on my journey home, leaving Midwinter behind me in Turin.
“The days have been so full of events since the month began, and I have been so harassed, in mind and body both, for the greater part of the time, that my Diary has been wretchedly neglected. A few notes, written in such hurry and confusion that I can hardly understand them myself, are all that I possess to remind me of what has happened since the night when Armadale’s yacht left Naples. Let me try if I can set this right without more loss of time; let me try if I can recall the circumstances in their order as they have followed each other from the beginning of the month.
“The days have been packed with events since the month started, and I’ve been so stressed, both mentally and physically, for most of the time, that my Diary has been poorly neglected. Just a few notes, written in such a rush and chaos that I can barely understand them myself, are all I have to remind me of what’s happened since the night Armadale’s yacht left Naples. Let me see if I can sort this out without wasting any more time; let me try to recall the events in the order they happened since the beginning of the month.”
“On the 3d of November—being then still at Naples—Midwinter received a hurried letter from Armadale, date ‘Messina.’ ‘The weather,’ he said, ‘had been lovely, and the yacht had made one of the quickest passages on record. The crew were rather a rough set to look at; but Captain Manuel and his English mate’ (the latter described as ‘the best of good fellows’) ‘managed them admirably.’ After this prosperous beginning, Armadale had arranged, as a matter of course, to prolong the cruise; and, at the sailing-master’s suggestion, he had decided to visit some of the ports in the Adriatic, which the captain had described as full of character, and well worth seeing.
“On November 3rd—still in Naples—Midwinter got a quick letter from Armadale, dated ‘Messina.’ ‘The weather,’ he said, ‘had been beautiful, and the yacht had one of the fastest trips on record. The crew looked a bit rough around the edges, but Captain Manuel and his English mate’ (the latter described as ‘the best of good fellows’) ‘managed them wonderfully.’ After this successful start, Armadale had arranged, as a matter of course, to extend the cruise; and, at the sailing-master’s suggestion, he decided to visit some of the ports in the Adriatic, which the captain described as full of character and definitely worth seeing.”
“A postscript followed, explaining that Armadale had written in a hurry to catch the steamer to Naples, and that he had opened his letter again, before sending it off, to add something that he had forgotten. On the day before the yacht sailed, he had been at the banker’s to get ‘a few hundreds in gold,’ and he believed he had left his cigar-case there. It was an old friend of his, and he begged that Midwinter would oblige him by endeavoring recover it, and keeping it for him till they met again.
“A postscript followed, explaining that Armadale had quickly written to catch the steamer to Naples, and that he had opened his letter again before sending it to add something he had forgotten. The day before the yacht sailed, he had been at the bank to withdraw 'a few hundred in gold,' and he thought he had left his cigar case there. It was an old favorite of his, and he asked Midwinter to help him by trying to retrieve it and hold onto it until they met again.”
“That was the substance of the letter.
“That was the content of the letter.
“I thought over it carefully when Midwinter had left me alone again, after reading it. My idea was then (and is still) that Manuel had not persuaded Armadale to cruise in a sea like the Adriatic, so much less frequented by ships than the Mediterranean, for nothing. The terms, too, in which the trifling loss of the cigar-case was mentioned struck me as being equally suggestive of what was coming. I concluded that Armadale’s circular notes had not been transformed into those ‘few hundreds in gold’ through any forethought or business knowledge of his own. Manuel’s influence, I suspected, had been exerted in this matter also, and once more not without reason. At intervals through the wakeful night these considerations came back again and again to me; and time after time they pointed obstinately (so far as my next movements were concerned) in one and the same way—the way back to England.
I thought about it carefully after Midwinter left me alone again, having just read it. My belief then (and still is) that Manuel didn’t convince Armadale to sail in a less-traveled sea like the Adriatic, as opposed to the Mediterranean, without a reason. The way the minor loss of the cigar case was mentioned also felt like a hint of what was to come. I figured that Armadale’s circular notes hadn’t turned into those 'few hundreds in gold' due to any planning or business sense on his part. I suspected that Manuel’s influence was at play here too, and once again, it wasn’t without justification. Throughout the restless night, these thoughts kept returning to me; over and over again, they stubbornly pointed me in one direction regarding my next steps—back to England.
“How to get there, and especially how to get there unaccompanied by Midwinter, was more than I had wit enough to discover that night. I tried and tried to meet the difficulty, and fell asleep exhausted toward the morning without having met it.
“How to get there, and especially how to get there without Midwinter, was more than I could figure out that night. I kept trying to tackle the problem, but I fell asleep exhausted as morning approached without finding a solution.”
“Some hours later, as soon as I was dressed, Midwinter came in, with news received by that morning’s post from his employers in London. The proprietors of the newspaper had received from the editor so favorable a report of his correspondence from Naples that they had determined on advancing him to a place of greater responsibility and greater emolument at Turin. His instructions were inclosed in the letter, and he was requested to lose no time in leaving Naples for his new post.
“Some hours later, as soon as I got dressed, Midwinter came in with news he received that morning from his bosses in London. The owners of the newspaper had gotten such a positive report from the editor about his correspondence from Naples that they decided to promote him to a position of greater responsibility and higher pay in Turin. His instructions were included in the letter, and he was asked to leave Naples for his new job without delay.”
“On hearing this, I relieved his mind, before he could put the question, of all anxiety about my willingness to remove. Turin had the great attraction, in my eyes, of being on the road to England. I assured him at once that I was ready to travel as soon as he pleased.
“Upon hearing this, I eased his mind, before he could ask, of any worries about my willingness to move. Turin appealed to me greatly because it was on the way to England. I assured him immediately that I was ready to travel whenever he wanted.”
“He thanked me for suiting myself to his plans, with more of his old gentleness and kindness than I had seen in him for some time past. The good news from Armadale on the previous day seemed to have roused him a little from the dull despair in which he had been sunk since the sailing of the yacht. And now the prospect of advancement in his profession, and, more than that, the prospect of leaving the fatal place in which the Third Vision of the Dream had come true, had (as he owned himself) additionally cheered and relieved him. He asked, before he went away to make the arrangements for our journey, whether I expected to hear from my ‘family’ in England, and whether he should give instructions for the forwarding of my letters with his own to the poste restante at Turin. I instantly thanked him, and accepted the offer. His proposal had suggested to me, the moment he made it, that my fictitious ‘family circumstances’ might be turned to good account once more, as a reason for unexpectedly summoning me from Italy to England.
“He thanked me for adapting to his plans, showing more of his old gentleness and kindness than I had seen in a while. The good news from Armadale the day before seemed to have lifted him a bit from the dull despair he had been in since the yacht had set sail. Now, the possibility of advancement in his career and, more importantly, the chance to leave the fateful place where the Third Vision of the Dream had come true had, as he admitted, also cheered and relieved him. Before he left to make the arrangements for our journey, he asked if I expected to hear from my ‘family’ in England and whether he should arrange to forward my letters along with his to the poste restante in Turin. I immediately thanked him and accepted the offer. His suggestion made me realize that my imaginary ‘family circumstances’ could be used again as a reason for unexpectedly calling me back from Italy to England."
“On the ninth of the month we were installed at Turin.
“On the ninth of the month, we settled in at Turin.”
“On the thirteenth, Midwinter—being then very busy—asked if I would save him a loss of time by applying for any letters which might have followed us from Naples. I had been waiting for the opportunity he now offered me; and I determined to snatch at it without allowing myself time to hesitate. There were no letters at the poste restante for either of us. But when he put the question on my return, I told him that there had been a letter for me, with alarming news from ‘home.’ My ‘mother’ was dangerously ill, and I was entreated to lose no time in hurrying back to England to see her.
“On the thirteenth, Midwinter—being very busy—asked if I could save him some time by checking for any letters that might have come after us from Naples. I had been waiting for the chance he was now giving me; and I decided to take it without hesitating. There were no letters at the poste restante for either of us. But when he asked me about it upon my return, I told him that I had received a letter with distressing news from ‘home.’ My ‘mother’ was dangerously ill, and I was urged to hurry back to England to see her.”
“It seems quite unaccountable—now that I am away from him—but it is none the less true, that I could not, even yet, tell him a downright premeditated falsehood, without a sense of shrinking and shame, which other people would think, and which I think myself, utterly inconsistent with such a character as mine. Inconsistent or not, I felt it. And what is stranger—perhaps I ought to say madder—still, if he had persisted in his first resolution to accompany me himself to England rather than allow me to travel alone, I firmly believe I should have turned my back on temptation for the second time, and have lulled myself to rest once more in the old dream of living out my life happy and harmless in my husband’s love.
“It seems really strange—now that I'm away from him—but it's still true that I couldn't even now tell him a flat-out lie without feeling a strong sense of discomfort and shame, which I think, and which others would probably think too, just doesn’t match who I am. Whether it matches or not, I felt it. And what's even stranger—maybe I should say crazier—if he had stuck to his original plan to accompany me to England rather than let me travel alone, I honestly believe I would have resisted temptation for a second time and found comfort again in the old dream of living out my life happily and safely in my husband’s love.”
“Am I deceiving myself in this? It doesn’t matter—I dare say I am. Never mind what might have happened. What did happen is the only thing of any importance now.
“Am I fooling myself about this? It doesn’t matter—I think I probably am. Forget what could have happened. What actually happened is the only thing that really matters now.
“It ended in Midwinter’s letting me persuade him that I was old enough to take care of myself on the journey to England, and that he owed it to the newspaper people, who had trusted their interests in his hands, not to leave Turin just as he was established there. He didn’t suffer at taking leave of me as he suffered when he saw the last of his friend. I saw that, and set down the anxiety he expressed that I should write to him at its proper value. I have quite got over my weakness for him at last. No man who really loved me would have put what he owed to a peck of newspaper people before what he owed to his wife. I hate him for letting me convince him! I believe he was glad to get rid of me. I believe he has seen some woman whom he likes at Turin. Well, let him follow his new fancy, if he pleases! I shall be the widow of Mr. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose before long; and what will his likes or dislikes matter to me then?
“It ended in Midwinter letting me convince him that I was old enough to take care of myself on the trip to England, and that he owed it to the newspaper people, who had trusted their interests to him, not to leave Turin just as he was settling in. He didn’t feel as sad saying goodbye to me as he did when he saw the last of his friend. I noticed that and didn’t take his worry about me writing to him too seriously. I've finally gotten over my feelings for him. No man who truly loved me would have prioritized what he owed to a bunch of newspaper people over what he owed to his wife. I hate him for allowing me to persuade him! I believe he was relieved to be rid of me. I think he’s seeing some woman he likes in Turin. Well, let him chase his new interest if he wants! I’ll soon be the widow of Mr. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose; and what will his preferences matter to me then?”
“The events on the journey were not worth mentioning, and my arrival in London stands recorded already on the top of the new page.
“The events on the journey weren't noteworthy, and my arrival in London is already noted at the top of the new page.”
“As for to-day, the one thing of any importance that I have done since I got to the cheap and quiet hotel at which I am now staying, has been to send for the landlord, and ask him to help me to a sight of the back numbers of The Times newspaper. He has politely offered to accompany me himself to-morrow morning to some place in the City where all the papers are kept, as he calls it, in file. Till to-morrow, then, I must control my impatience for news of Armadale as well as I can. And so good-night to the pretty reflection of myself that appears in these pages!”
“As for today, the only thing of any importance I've done since I got to the cheap and quiet hotel where I'm staying is to ask the landlord to help me find the back issues of The Times newspaper. He kindly offered to take me himself tomorrow morning to a place in the City where all the papers are kept, as he puts it. Until tomorrow, I have to manage my impatience for news of Armadale as best as I can. So, good night to the lovely reflection of myself that shows up in these pages!”
“November 20th.—Not a word of news yet, either in the obituary column or in any other part of the paper. I looked carefully through each number in succession, dating from the day when Armadale’s letter was written at Messina to this present 20th of the month, and I am certain, whatever may have happened, that nothing is known in England as yet. Patience! The newspaper is to meet me at the breakfast-table every morning till further notice; and any day now may show me what I most want to see.”
“November 20th.—Still no news, either in the obituary section or anywhere else in the paper. I went through each issue one by one, starting from the day Armadale’s letter was sent from Messina up to today's date, and I'm sure that whatever has happened, nothing is known in England yet. Patience! The newspaper will meet me at the breakfast table every morning until further notice; and any day now might reveal what I most want to see.”
“November 21st.—No news again. I wrote to Midwinter to-day, to keep up appearances.
“November 21st.—No news again. I wrote to Midwinter today, to keep up appearances.”
“When the letter was done, I fell into wretchedly low spirits—I can’t imagine why—and felt such a longing for a little company that, in despair of knowing where else to go, I actually went to Pimlico, on the chance that Mother Oldershaw might have returned to her old quarters.
“When the letter was finished, I fell into a deep funk—I can’t really say why—and felt such a strong desire for some company that, in my desperation of not knowing where else to go, I actually went to Pimlico, hoping that Mother Oldershaw might have come back to her old place.”
“There were changes since I had seen the place during my former stay in London. Doctor Downward’s side of the house was still empty. But the shop was being brightened up for the occupation of a milliner and dress-maker. The people, when I went in to make inquiries, were all strangers to me. They showed, however, no hesitation in giving me Mrs. Oldershaw’s address when I asked for it—from which I infer that the little ‘difficulty’ which forced her to be in hiding in August last is at an end, so far as she is concerned. As for the doctor, the people at the shop either were, or pretended to be, quite unable to tell me what had become of him.
“There were changes since I last saw the place during my previous stay in London. Doctor Downward’s side of the house was still empty, but the shop was being spruced up for a milliner and dressmaker. The people there were all strangers to me when I went in to ask about things. However, they had no problem giving me Mrs. Oldershaw’s address when I asked for it—which makes me think that the little ‘difficulty’ that forced her into hiding last August is over, at least for her. As for the doctor, the people at the shop either didn’t know or pretended not to know what had happened to him.”
“I don’t know whether it was the sight of the place at Pimlico that sickened me, or whether it was my own perversity, or what. But now that I had got Mrs. Oldershaw’s address, I felt as if she was the very last person in the world that I wanted to see. I took a cab, and told the man to drive to the street she lived in, and then told him to drive back to the hotel. I hardly know what is the matter with me—unless it is that I am getting more impatient every hour for information about Armadale. When will the future look a little less dark, I wonder? To-morrow is Saturday. Will to-morrow’s newspaper lift the veil?”
“I don’t know if it was the sight of the place in Pimlico that made me feel sick, or if it was just my own weirdness, or what. But now that I had Mrs. Oldershaw’s address, she felt like the last person in the world I wanted to see. I took a cab and told the driver to take me to her street, then I told him to take me back to the hotel. I barely understand what’s going on with me—unless it’s that I'm becoming more impatient every hour for news about Armadale. When will the future seem a little less bleak, I wonder? Tomorrow is Saturday. Will tomorrow’s newspaper finally give me some answers?”
“November 22d.—Saturday’s newspaper has lifted the veil! Words are vain to express the panic of astonishment in which I write. I never once anticipated it; I can’t believe it or realize it, now it has happened. The winds and waves themselves have turned my accomplices! The yacht has foundered at sea, and every soul on board has perished!
“November 22nd.—Saturday’s newspaper has uncovered the truth! I’m at a loss for words to describe the overwhelming shock I feel as I write this. I never saw it coming; I can’t believe it or fully grasp it now that it’s real. The very winds and waves have become my accomplices! The yacht has sunk, and everyone on board has died!
“Here is the account cut out of this morning’s newspaper:
“Here’s the story taken from this morning’s newspaper:
“‘DISASTER AT SEA.—Intelligence has reached the Royal Yacht Squadron and the insurers which leaves no reasonable doubt, we regret to say, of the total loss, on the fifth of the present month, of the yacht Dorothea, with every soul on board. The particulars are as follows: At daylight, on the morning of the sixth, the Italian brig Speranza, bound from Venice to Marsala for orders, encountered some floating objects off Cape Spartivento (at the southernmost extremity of Italy) which attracted the curiosity of the people of the brig. The previous day had been marked by one of the most severe of the sudden and violent storms, peculiar to these southern seas, which has been remembered for years. The Speranza herself having been in danger while the gale lasted, the captain and crew concluded that they were on the traces of a wreck, and a boat was lowered for the purpose of examining the objects in the water. A hen-coop, some broken spars, and fragments of shattered plank were the first evidences discovered of the terrible disaster that had happened. Some of the lighter articles of cabin furniture, wrenched and shattered, were found next. And, lastly, a memento of melancholy interest turned up, in the shape of a lifebuoy, with a corked bottle attached to it. These latter objects, with the relics of cabin furniture, were brought on board the Speranza. On the buoy the name of the vessel was painted, as follows: “Dorothea, R. Y. S.” (meaning Royal Yacht Squadron). The bottle, on being uncorked, contained a sheet of note-paper, on which the following lines were hurriedly traced in pencil: “Off Cape Spartivento; two days out from Messina. Nov. 5th, 4 P.M.” (being the hour at which the log of the Italian brig showed the storm to have been at its height). “Both our boats are stove in by the sea. The rudder is gone, and we have sprung a leak astern which is more than we can stop. The Lord help us all—we are sinking. (Signed) John Mitchenden, Mate.” On reaching Marsala, the captain of the brig made his report to the British consul, and left the objects discovered in that gentleman’s charge. Inquiry at Messina showed that the ill-fated vessel had arrived there from Naples. At the latter port it was ascertained that the Dorothea had been hired from the owner’s agent by an English gentleman, Mr. Armadale, of Thorpe Ambrose, Norfolk. Whether Mr. Armadale had any friends on board with him has not been clearly discovered. But there is unhappily no doubt that the ill-fated gentleman himself sailed in the yacht from Naples, and that he was also on board of the vessel when she left Messina.’
“DISASTER AT SEA.—News has reached the Royal Yacht Squadron and the insurers that leaves no doubt, unfortunately, of the total loss, on the fifth of this month, of the yacht Dorothea, with everyone on board. The details are as follows: At dawn on the sixth, the Italian brig Speranza, which was traveling from Venice to Marsala for orders, encountered some floating debris off Cape Spartivento (at the southernmost tip of Italy) that caught the attention of the crew. The previous day had seen one of the most severe sudden storms typical of these southern seas, remembered for years. The Speranza itself had been in danger during the storm, so the captain and crew concluded they were likely tracing a wreck and lowered a boat to inspect the objects in the water. They first discovered a hen-coop, some broken spars, and fragments of shattered planks as evidence of the tragic disaster that had occurred. Next, they found some lighter pieces of cabin furniture, broken and damaged. Finally, a poignant reminder appeared in the form of a lifebuoy, with a corked bottle attached. These items, along with the remnants of cabin furniture, were brought on board the Speranza. On the buoy, the name of the vessel was painted as follows: “Dorothea, R. Y. S.” (meaning Royal Yacht Squadron). When the bottle was opened, it contained a sheet of note paper with the following lines hastily written in pencil: “Off Cape Spartivento; two days out from Messina. Nov. 5th, 4 P.M.” (which is the time when the log of the Italian brig indicated the storm was at its worst). “Both our boats are smashed by the sea. The rudder is gone, and we have sprung a leak in the back which we cannot stop. God help us—we are sinking. (Signed) John Mitchenden, Mate.” Upon arriving in Marsala, the captain of the brig reported to the British consul and left the found objects in his care. Inquiries at Messina revealed that the ill-fated vessel had arrived there from Naples. It was confirmed at that port that the Dorothea had been hired from the owner’s agent by an English gentleman, Mr. Armadale, of Thorpe Ambrose, Norfolk. It hasn’t been clearly established whether Mr. Armadale had friends on board with him. Unfortunately, there is no doubt that the unfortunate gentleman himself sailed on the yacht from Naples and was also aboard when it left Messina.”
“Such is the story of the wreck, as the newspaper tells it in the plainest and fewest words. My head is in a whirl; my confusion is so great that I think of fifty different things in trying to think of one. I must wait—a day more or less is of no consequence now—I must wait till I can face my new position, without feeling bewildered by it.”
“Here’s the story of the wreck, as the newspaper puts it in the simplest and fewest words. I'm feeling overwhelmed; my mind is racing with so many thoughts that I can’t focus on just one. I just need to wait—a day more or less doesn’t really matter now—I have to wait until I can confront my new situation without feeling so confused.”
“November 23d.—Eight in the morning.—I rose an hour ago, and saw my way clearly to the first step that I must take under present circumstances.
“November 23rd.—Eight in the morning.—I got up an hour ago and figured out the first step I need to take given the current situation.
“It is of the utmost importance to me to know what is doing at Thorpe Ambrose; and it would be the height of rashness, while I am quite in the dark in this matter, to venture there myself. The only other alternative is to write to somebody on the spot for news; and the only person I can write to is—Bashwood.
“It’s really important for me to know what’s happening at Thorpe Ambrose; and it would be incredibly reckless to go there myself while I’m completely in the dark about it. The only other option is to reach out to someone there for updates; and the only person I can contact is—Bashwood.”
“I have just finished the letter. It is headed ‘private and confidential,’ and signed ‘Lydia Armadale.’ There is nothing in it to compromise me, if the old fool is mortally offended by my treatment of him, and if he spitefully shows my letter to other people. But I don’t believe he will do this. A man at his age forgives a woman anything, if the woman only encourages him. I have requested him, as a personal favor, to keep our correspondence for the present strictly private. I have hinted that my married life with my deceased husband has not been a happy one; and that I feel the injudiciousness of having married a young man. In the postscript I go further still, and venture boldly on these comforting words: ‘I can explain, dear Mr. Bashwood, what may have seemed fake and deceitful in my conduct toward you when you give me a personal opportunity.’ If he was on the right side of sixty, I should feel doubtful of results. But he is on the wrong side of sixty, and I believe he will give me my personal opportunity.
“I just finished the letter. It’s marked ‘private and confidential,’ and signed ‘Lydia Armadale.’ There’s nothing in it that could compromise me, even if the old fool is really upset with how I've treated him and decides to share my letter with others. But I doubt he’ll do that. A man his age usually forgives a woman anything, as long as she shows him some encouragement. I've asked him, as a personal favor, to keep our correspondence strictly private for now. I’ve hinted that my married life with my late husband wasn’t happy, and that I regret marrying a younger man. In the postscript, I go even further, boldly stating: ‘I can explain, dear Mr. Bashwood, what may have seemed fake and deceitful in my conduct toward you when you give me a personal opportunity.’ If he were over sixty, I’d be worried about the outcome. But he’s past sixty, and I believe he’ll give me that personal opportunity.”
“Ten o’clock.—I have been looking over the copy of my marriage certificate, with which I took care to provide myself on the wedding-day; and I have discovered, to my inexpressible dismay, an obstacle to my appearance in the character of Armadale’s widow which I now see for the first time.
“Ten o’clock.—I’ve been going over the copy of my marriage certificate, which I made sure to get on the wedding day; and I’ve discovered, to my utter dismay, a barrier to my role as Armadale’s widow that I’m seeing for the first time.”
“The description of Midwinter (under his own name) which the certificate presents answers in every important particular to what would have been the description of Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, if I had really married him. ‘Name and Surname’—Allan Armadale. ‘Age’—twenty-one, instead of twenty-two, which might easily pass for a mistake. ‘Condition’—Bachelor. ‘Rank or profession’—Gentleman. ‘Residence at the time of Marriage’—Frant’s Hotel, Darley Street. ‘Father’s Name and Surname’—Allan Armadale. ‘Rank or Profession of Father’—Gentleman. Every particular (except the year’s difference in their two ages) which answers for the one answers for the other. But suppose, when I produce my copy of the certificate, that some meddlesome lawyer insists on looking at the original register? Midwinter’s writing is as different as possible from the writing of his dead friend. The hand in which he has written ‘Allan Armadale’ in the book has not a chance of passing for the hand in which Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose was accustomed to sign his name.
“The description of Midwinter (under his own name) that the certificate provides matches every important detail of what would have been the description of Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose, if I had actually married him. ‘Name and Surname’—Allan Armadale. ‘Age’—twenty-one, instead of twenty-two, which could easily be seen as a mistake. ‘Condition’—Bachelor. ‘Rank or profession’—Gentleman. ‘Residence at the time of Marriage’—Frant’s Hotel, Darley Street. ‘Father’s Name and Surname’—Allan Armadale. ‘Rank or Profession of Father’—Gentleman. Every detail (except for the one-year difference in their ages) that applies to one applies to the other. But what if, when I show my copy of the certificate, some nosy lawyer demands to see the original register? Midwinter’s handwriting is completely different from that of his deceased friend. The way he has written ‘Allan Armadale’ in the book wouldn’t resemble how Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose was used to signing his name.”
“Can I move safely in the matter, with such a pitfall as I see here open under my feet? How can I tell? Where can I find an experienced person to inform me? I must shut up my diary and think.”
“Can I proceed safely with such a trap right in front of me? How can I know? Where can I find someone experienced to guide me? I need to close my diary and reflect.”
“Seven o’clock.—My prospects have changed again since I made my last entry. I have received a warning to be careful in the future which I shall not neglect; and I have (I believe) succeeded in providing myself with the advice and assistance of which I stand in need.
“Seven o’clock.—My situation has changed once more since my last entry. I’ve received a warning to be cautious moving forward, which I won’t ignore; and I believe I’ve managed to get the advice and support I need.”
“After vainly trying to think of some better person to apply to in the difficulty which embarrassed me, I made a virtue of necessity, and set forth to surprise Mrs. Oldershaw by a visit from her darling Lydia! It is almost needless to add that I determined to sound her carefully, and not to let any secret of importance out of my own possession.
“After uselessly trying to think of someone better to turn to for help with the problem I was facing, I accepted the situation and decided to surprise Mrs. Oldershaw with a visit from her beloved Lydia! It’s almost unnecessary to mention that I planned to probe her carefully and not reveal any important secrets that I had.”
“A sour and solemn old maid-servant admitted me into the house. When I asked for her mistress, I was reminded with the bitterest emphasis that I had committed the impropriety of calling on a Sunday. Mrs. Oldershaw was at home, solely in consequence of being too unwell to go to church! The servant thought it very unlikely that she would see me. I thought it highly probable, on the contrary, that she would honor me with an interview in her own interests, if I sent in my name as ‘Miss Gwilt’—and the event proved that I was right. After being kept waiting some minutes I was shown into the drawing-room.
“A grumpy and serious old maidservant let me into the house. When I asked to see her mistress, she pointed out in the most bitter way that I had made the mistake of visiting on a Sunday. Mrs. Oldershaw was home, only because she was too unwell to go to church! The servant thought it was very unlikely that she would see me. I actually believed it was highly likely she would want to meet with me for her own reasons if I sent in my name as ‘Miss Gwilt’—and it turned out I was right. After waiting a few minutes, I was led into the drawing room.”
“There sat Mother Jezebel, with the air of a woman resting on the high-road to heaven, dressed in a slate-colored gown, with gray mittens on her hands, a severely simple cap on her head, and a volume of sermons on her lap. She turned up the whites of her eyes devoutly at the sight of me, and the first words she said were—‘Oh, Lydia! Lydia! why are you not at church?’
“There sat Mother Jezebel, looking like a woman who was on her way to heaven, wearing a slate-colored dress, with gray mittens on her hands, a simple cap on her head, and a book of sermons in her lap. She raised her eyes to the sky devoutly when she saw me, and the first thing she said was—‘Oh, Lydia! Lydia! why aren’t you at church?’”
“If I had been less anxious, the sudden presentation of Mrs. Oldershaw in an entirely new character might have amused me. But I was in no humor for laughing, and (my notes of hand being all paid) I was under no obligation to restrain my natural freedom of speech. ‘Stuff and nonsense!’ I said. ‘Put your Sunday face in your pocket. I have got some news for you, since I last wrote from Thorpe Ambrose.’
“If I had been less anxious, seeing Mrs. Oldershaw show up in a completely different role might have amused me. But I wasn’t in the mood for laughing, and since all my debts were settled, I didn’t have to hold back my natural way of speaking. ‘Nonsense!’ I said. ‘Put your Sunday face away. I have some news for you since I last wrote from Thorpe Ambrose.’”
“The instant I mentioned ‘Thorpe Ambrose,’ the whites of the old hypocrite’s eyes showed themselves again, and she flatly refused to hear a word more from me on the subject of my proceedings in Norfolk. I insisted; but it was quite useless. Mother Oldershaw only shook her head and groaned, and informed me that her connection with the pomps and vanities of the world was at an end forever. ‘I have been born again, Lydia,’ said the brazen old wretch, wiping her eyes. ‘Nothing will induce me to return to the subject of that wicked speculation of yours on the folly of a rich young man.’
“The moment I brought up ‘Thorpe Ambrose,’ the whites of the old hypocrite’s eyes flashed again, and she flatly refused to listen to anything else I had to say about my plans in Norfolk. I pushed for an answer, but it was completely pointless. Mother Oldershaw just shook her head and sighed, telling me that her ties to the distractions and vanities of the world were permanently over. ‘I’ve been born again, Lydia,’ said the shameless old woman, wiping her eyes. ‘Nothing will make me go back to discussing that sinful scheme of yours about the foolishness of a wealthy young man.’”
“After hearing this, I should have left her on the spot, but for one consideration which delayed me a moment longer.
“After hearing this, I should have left her right then, but there was one thing that made me hesitate for just a moment longer.”
“It was easy to see, by this time, that the circumstances (whatever they might have been) which had obliged Mother Oldershaw to keep in hiding, on the occasion of my former visit to London, had been sufficiently serious to force her into giving up, or appearing to give up, her old business. And it was hardly less plain that she had found it to her advantage—everybody in England finds it to their advantage in some way to cover the outer side of her character carefully with a smooth varnish of Cant. This was, however, no business of mine; and I should have made these reflections outside instead of inside the house, if my interests had not been involved in putting the sincerity of Mother Oldershaw’s reformation to the test—so far as it affected her past connection with myself. At the time when she had fitted me out for our enterprise, I remembered signing a certain business document which gave her a handsome pecuniary interest in my success, if I became Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose. The chance of turning this mischievous morsel of paper to good account, in the capacity of a touchstone, was too tempting to be resisted. I asked my devout friend’s permission to say one last word before I left the house.
“It was clear by now that the reasons (whatever they were) that made Mother Oldershaw stay hidden during my previous visit to London were serious enough for her to give up, or at least appear to give up, her old business. It was also obvious that she had found it beneficial—everyone in England somehow benefits from putting a polished facade of respectability over their true character. However, this wasn’t my concern; I would have preferred to think about this outside rather than inside the house, if my own interests hadn’t been at stake in testing the sincerity of Mother Oldershaw’s change, particularly in relation to her past connection with me. I remembered signing a certain document when she helped me prepare for our venture, which granted her a significant financial interest in my success if I became Mrs. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose. The possibility of using this troublesome piece of paper as a measuring stick was too tempting to ignore. I asked my devout friend for permission to say one last thing before I left the house.”
“‘As you have no further interest in my wicked speculation at Thorpe Ambrose,’ I said, ‘perhaps you will give me back the written paper that I signed, when you were not quite such an exemplary person as you are now?’
“‘Since you’re no longer interested in my shady dealings at Thorpe Ambrose,’ I said, ‘maybe you could give me back the signed document from when you weren’t exactly the model citizen you are today?’”
“The shameless old hypocrite instantly shut her eyes and shuddered.
“The shameless old hypocrite immediately closed her eyes and shuddered.
“‘Does that mean Yes, or No’?’ I asked.
“‘Does that mean yes or no?’ I asked.
“‘On moral and religious grounds, Lydia,’ said Mrs. Oldershaw, ‘it means No.’
“‘For moral and religious reasons, Lydia,’ said Mrs. Oldershaw, ‘it means No.’”
“‘On wicked and worldly grounds,’ I rejoined, ‘I beg to thank you for showing me your hand.’
“‘On corrupt and worldly terms,’ I replied, ‘I thank you for revealing your intentions.’”
“There could, indeed, be no doubt now about the object she really had in view. She would run no more risks and lend no more money; she would leave me to win or lose single-handed. If I lost, she would not be compromised. If I won, she would produce the paper I had signed, and profit by it without remorse. In my present situation, it was mere waste of time and words to prolong the matter by any useless recrimination on my side. I put the warning away privately in my memory for future use, and got up to go.
“There’s really no doubt now about what she was after. She wouldn’t take any more risks or lend me any more money; she was leaving me to face this alone. If I lost, she wouldn't be in a bad spot. If I won, she’d just pull out the paper I had signed and benefit from it without feeling guilty. Given my current circumstances, it was pointless to drag this out with any unnecessary blame on my part. I noted the warning in my mind for later and got up to leave.”
“At the moment when I left my chair there was a sharp double knock at the street door. Mrs. Oldershaw evidently recognized it. She rose in a violent hurry, and rang the bell. ‘I am too unwell to see anybody,’ she said, when the servant appeared. ‘Wait a moment, if you please,’ she added, turning sharply on me, when the woman had left us to answer the door.
“At the moment I got up from my chair, there was a loud double knock at the front door. Mrs. Oldershaw clearly recognized it. She jumped up in a panic and rang the bell. ‘I’m not feeling well enough to see anyone,’ she said when the servant came in. ‘Just wait a moment, if you don’t mind,’ she added, turning sharply to me once the woman had left to answer the door.”
“It was small, very small, spitefulness on my part, I know; but the satisfaction of thwarting Mother Jezebel, even in a trifle, was not to be resisted. ‘I can’t wait,’ I said; ‘you reminded me just now that I ought to be at church.’ Before she could answer I was out of the room.
“It was petty, really petty, I know; but the satisfaction of getting one over on Mother Jezebel, even in a small way, was just too tempting to resist. ‘I can’t wait,’ I said; ‘you just reminded me that I need to be at church.’ Before she could respond, I was already out of the room.”
“As I put my foot on the first stair the street door was opened, and a man’s voice inquired whether Mrs. Oldershaw was at home.
“As I stepped onto the first stair, the front door opened, and a man's voice asked if Mrs. Oldershaw was home.”
“I instantly recognized the voice. Doctor Downward!
“I immediately recognized the voice. Doctor Downward!
“The doctor repeated the servant’s message in a tone which betrayed unmistakable irritation at finding himself admitted no further than the door.
“The doctor repeated the servant’s message in a tone that clearly showed his irritation at being allowed to go no further than the door.”
“‘Your mistress is not well enough to see visitors? Give her that card,’ said the doctor, ‘and say I expect her, the next time I call, to be well enough to see me.’
“‘Your boss isn’t feeling well enough to see visitors? Give her that card,’ said the doctor, ‘and let her know I expect her, by the next time I come by, to be well enough to see me.’”
“If his voice had not told me plainly that he felt in no friendly mood toward Mrs. Oldershaw, I dare say I should have let him go without claiming his acquaintance; but, as things were, I felt an impulse to speak to him or to anybody who had a grudge against Mother Jezebel. There was more of my small spitefulness in this, I suppose. Anyway, I slipped downstairs; and, following the doctor out quietly, overtook him in the street.
“If his voice hadn’t made it clear that he wasn’t in a friendly mood toward Mrs. Oldershaw, I probably would have let him go without introducing myself. But given the situation, I felt compelled to talk to him or anyone who held a grudge against Mother Jezebel. I guess there was a bit of my own petty malice in this. Anyway, I headed downstairs and quietly followed the doctor, catching up to him in the street.”
“I had recognized his voice, and I recognized his back as I walked behind him. But when I called him by his name, and when he turned round with a start and confronted me, I followed his example, and started on my side. The doctor’s face was transformed into the face of a perfect stranger! His baldness had hidden itself under an artfully grizzled wig. He had allowed his whiskers to grow, and had dyed them to match his new head of hair. Hideous circular spectacles bestrode his nose in place of the neat double eyeglass that he used to carry in his hand; and a black neckerchief, surmounted by immense shirt-collars, appeared as the unworthy successor of the clerical white cravat of former times. Nothing remained of the man I once knew but the comfortable plumpness of his figure, and the confidential courtesy and smoothness of his manner and his voice.
“I recognized his voice and his back as I walked behind him. But when I called out his name and he turned around in surprise to face me, I mirrored his reaction and was taken aback too. The doctor’s face had changed completely into that of a total stranger! His baldness was hidden beneath a stylishly grizzled wig. He had grown out his facial hair and dyed it to match his new hairstyle. Ugly round glasses perched on his nose instead of the neat double eyeglass he used to carry. A black neckerchief, topped by huge shirt collars, replaced the old clerical white cravat he used to wear. The only thing that remained of the man I once knew was the comforting plumpness of his figure, along with his familiar courteous demeanor and smooth voice.
“‘Charmed to see you again,’ said the doctor, looking about him a little anxiously, and producing his card-case in a very precipitate manner. ‘But, my dear Miss Gwilt, permit me to rectify a slight mistake on your part. Doctor Downward of Pimlico is dead and buried; and you will infinitely oblige me if you will never, on any consideration, mention him again!’
“‘So good to see you again,’ said the doctor, glancing around a bit nervously and quickly pulling out his card case. ‘But, my dear Miss Gwilt, let me correct a small misunderstanding on your part. Doctor Downward of Pimlico is dead and gone; and I would really appreciate it if you never mention him again, under any circumstances!’”
“I took the card he offered me, and discovered that I was now supposed to be speaking to ‘Doctor Le Doux, of the Sanitarium, Fairweather Vale, Hampstead!’
“I took the card he handed me and found out that I was now supposed to be talking to ‘Doctor Le Doux, of the Sanitarium, Fairweather Vale, Hampstead!’”
“‘You seem to have found it necessary,’ I said, ‘to change a great many things since I last saw you? Your name, your residence, your personal appearance—?’
“‘You seem to have found it necessary,’ I said, ‘to change a lot of things since I last saw you? Your name, where you live, your look—?’”
“‘And my branch of practice,’ interposed the doctor. ‘I have purchased of the original possessor (a person of feeble enterprise and no resources) a name, a diploma, and a partially completed sanitarium for the reception of nervous invalids. We are open already to the inspection of a few privileged friends—come and see us. Are you walking my way? Pray take my arm, and tell me to what happy chance I am indebted for the pleasure of seeing you again?’
“‘And my field of work,’ the doctor added. ‘I’ve bought from the original owner (someone lacking ambition and resources) a name, a diploma, and a partially finished sanitarium for nervous patients. We’re already open for a small group of close friends—come check us out. Are you heading in my direction? Please take my arm and tell me what lucky circumstance has allowed me to see you again?’”
“I told him the circumstances exactly as they had happened, and I added (with a view to making sure of his relations with his former ally at Pimlico) that I had been greatly surprised to hear Mrs. Oldershaw’s door shut on such an old friend as himself. Cautious as he was, the doctor’s manner of receiving my remark satisfied me at once that my suspicions of an estrangement were well founded. His smile vanished, and he settled his hideous spectacles irritably on the bridge of his nose.
“I told him exactly what happened, and I mentioned (to make sure of his relationship with his former ally at Pimlico) that I was really surprised to hear Mrs. Oldershaw shut the door on such an old friend like him. As careful as he was, the way the doctor reacted to my comment instantly confirmed my suspicions of a rift. His smile disappeared, and he irritably adjusted his ugly glasses on the bridge of his nose.”
“‘Pardon me if I leave you to draw your own conclusions,’ he said. ‘The subject of Mrs. Oldershaw is, I regret to say, far from agreeable to me under existing circumstances—a business difficulty connected with our late partnership at Pimlico, entirely without interest for a young and brilliant woman like yourself. Tell me your news! Have you left your situation at Thorpe Ambrose? Are you residing in London? Is there anything, professional or otherwise, that I can do for you?’
“‘Excuse me if I let you come to your own conclusions,’ he said. ‘The topic of Mrs. Oldershaw is, unfortunately, quite unpleasant for me right now—a business issue related to our recent partnership in Pimlico, which has no relevance for a young and talented woman like you. Share your news with me! Have you left your job at Thorpe Ambrose? Are you living in London? Is there anything, professionally or otherwise, that I can help you with?’”
“That last question was a more important one than he supposed. Before I answered it, I felt the necessity of parting company with him and of getting a little time to think.
“That last question was more important than he realized. Before I answered it, I felt the need to separate from him and take some time to think.”
“‘You have kindly asked me, doctor, to pay you a visit,’ I said. ‘In your quiet house at Hampstead, I may possibly have something to say to you which I can’t say in this noisy street. When are you at home at the Sanitarium? Should I find you there later in the day?’
“‘You’ve kindly invited me, doctor, to come and see you,’ I said. ‘In your peaceful home at Hampstead, I might have something to share with you that I can’t say in this loud street. When will you be at the Sanitarium? Should I expect to see you there later in the day?’”
“The doctor assured me that he was then on his way back, and begged that I would name my own hour. I said, ‘Toward the afternoon;’ and, pleading an engagement, hailed the first omnibus that passed us. ‘Don’t forget the address,’ said the doctor, as he handed me in. ‘I have got your card,’ I answered, and so we parted.
“The doctor assured me that he was on his way back and asked me to choose a time. I said, ‘In the afternoon;’ and, citing a prior commitment, I hailed the first bus that came by. ‘Don’t forget the address,’ the doctor said as he helped me in. ‘I have your card,’ I replied, and that’s how we said goodbye."
“I returned to the hotel, and went up into my room, and thought over it very anxiously.
“I went back to the hotel, headed up to my room, and thought about it very anxiously.
“The serious obstacle of the signature on the marriage register still stood in my way as unmanageably as ever. All hope of getting assistance from Mrs. Oldershaw was at an end. I could only regard her henceforth as an enemy hidden in the dark—the enemy, beyond all doubt now, who had had me followed and watched when I was last in London. To what other counselor could I turn for the advice which my unlucky ignorance of law and business obliged me to seek from some one more experienced than myself? Could I go to the lawyer whom I consulted when I was about to marry Midwinter in my maiden name? Impossible! To say nothing of his cold reception of me when I had last seen him, the advice I wanted this time related (disguise the facts as I might) to commission of a Fraud—a fraud of the sort that no prosperous lawyer would consent to assist if he had a character to lose. Was there any other competent person I could think of? There was one, and one only—the doctor who had died at Pimlico, and had revived again at Hampstead.
“The significant hurdle of the signature on the marriage register was still blocking my path, just as unmovable as ever. All hope of getting help from Mrs. Oldershaw was gone. I could only see her from now on as a hidden enemy—without a doubt, the one who had followed and watched me when I was last in London. Who else could I turn to for the advice that my unfortunate lack of knowledge in law and business forced me to seek from someone more experienced? Could I go to the lawyer I consulted when I was about to marry Midwinter using my maiden name? No way! Not to mention his cold reception when I last saw him, the advice I needed this time involved (no matter how I tried to disguise it) committing a fraud—a type of fraud that no successful lawyer would agree to assist with if they had a reputation to uphold. Was there anyone else competent I could think of? There was one person, and only one—the doctor who had died in Pimlico and had come back to life in Hampstead.”
“I knew him to be entirely without scruples; to have the business experience that I wanted myself; and to be as cunning, as clever, and as far-seeing a man as could be found in all London. Beyond this, I had made two important discoveries in connection with him that morning. In the first place, he was on bad terms with Mrs. Oldershaw, which would protect me from all danger of the two leaguing together against me if I trusted him. In the second place, circumstances still obliged him to keep his identity carefully disguised, which gave me a hold over him in no respect inferior to any hold that I might give him over me. In every way he was the right man, the only man, for my purpose; and yet I hesitated at going to him—hesitated for a full hour and more, without knowing why!
“I knew he was totally unscrupulous; he had the business experience I wanted for myself; and he was as cunning, clever, and foresighted as anyone you could find in all of London. Additionally, I had made two significant discoveries about him that morning. First, he was on bad terms with Mrs. Oldershaw, which protected me from the risk of them teaming up against me if I decided to trust him. Second, he still had to keep his identity carefully hidden, which gave me leverage over him that was just as strong as any leverage he could have over me. In every way, he was the right man, the only man, for my needs; and yet I hesitated to approach him—hesitated for over an hour, without knowing why!
“It was two o’clock before I finally decided on paying the doctor a visit. Having, after this, occupied nearly another hour in determining to a hair-breadth how far I should take him into my confidence, I sent for a cab at last, and set off toward three in the afternoon for Hampstead.
“It was two o’clock when I finally decided to visit the doctor. After spending almost another hour figuring out exactly how much I should trust him, I finally called for a cab and headed out around three in the afternoon for Hampstead.”
“I found the Sanitarium with some little difficulty.
“I found the Sanitarium with a bit of trouble.
“Fairweather Vale proved to be a new neighborhood, situated below the high ground of Hampstead, on the southern side. The day was overcast, and the place looked very dreary. We approached it by a new road running between trees, which might once have been the park avenue of a country house. At the end we came upon a wilderness of open ground, with half-finished villas dotted about, and a hideous litter of boards, wheelbarrows, and building materials of all sorts scattered in every direction. At one corner of this scene of desolation, stood a great overgrown dismal house, plastered with drab-colored stucco, and surrounded by a naked, unfinished garden, without a shrub or a flower in it, frightful to behold. On the open iron gate that led into this inclosure was a new brass plate, with ‘Sanitarium’ inscribed on it in great black letters. The bell, when the cabman rang it, pealed through the empty house like a knell; and the pallid, withered old man-servant in black who answered the door looked as if he had stepped up out of his grave to perform that service. He let out on me a smell of damp plaster and new varnish; and he let in with me a chilling draft of the damp November air. I didn’t notice it at the time, but, writing of it now, I remember that I shivered as I crossed the threshold.
“Fairweather Vale turned out to be a new neighborhood located below the high ground of Hampstead, on the southern side. The day was cloudy, and the area seemed very gloomy. We approached via a new road lined with trees, which might have once served as the park avenue of a country estate. At the end, we encountered a wasteland of open land, with half-finished villas scattered about and an ugly mess of boards, wheelbarrows, and various building materials strewn in every direction. In one corner of this dismal scene stood a large, overgrown, gloomy house, covered in dull-colored stucco, and surrounded by an empty, unfinished garden that lacked any shrubs or flowers—quite a sight to behold. On the open iron gate leading into this area was a new brass plate, inscribed with ‘Sanitarium’ in large black letters. When the cab driver rang the bell, it echoed through the empty house like a funeral knell; and the pale, frail old manservant in black who answered the door looked as if he had risen from his grave to do so. He brought with him a smell of damp plaster and fresh varnish, and with me, he let in a chilling draft of the damp November air. I didn’t notice it at the time, but as I write about it now, I remember shivering as I crossed the threshold.”
“I gave my name to the servant as ‘Mrs. Armadale,’ and was shown into the waiting-room. The very fire itself was dying of damp in the grate. The only books on the table were the doctor’s Works, in sober drab covers; and the only object that ornamented the walls was the foreign Diploma (handsomely framed and glazed), of which the doctor had possessed himself by purchase, along with the foreign name.
“I told the servant my name was ‘Mrs. Armadale’ and was led into the waiting room. The fire was barely burning because of the dampness in the grate. The only books on the table were the doctor’s works, in dull brown covers; and the only decoration on the walls was a nicely framed and glazed foreign diploma that the doctor had acquired through purchase, complete with the foreign name.”
“After a moment or two, the proprietor of the Sanitarium came in, and held up his hands in cheerful astonishment at the sight of me.
“After a moment or two, the owner of the Sanitarium came in and raised his hands in happy surprise at seeing me.”
“‘I hadn’t an idea who “Mrs. Armadale” was!’ he said. ‘My dear lady, have you changed your name too? How sly of you not to tell me when we met this morning! Come into my private snuggery—I can’t think of keeping an old and dear friend like you in the patients’ waiting-room.’
“‘I had no idea who “Mrs. Armadale” was!’ he said. ‘My dear lady, have you changed your name too? How sneaky of you not to tell me when we met this morning! Come into my private cozy room—I can’t bear to keep an old and dear friend like you in the patients’ waiting area.’”
“The doctor’s private snuggery was at the back of the house, looking out on fields and trees, doomed but not yet destroyed by the builder. Horrible objects in brass and leather and glass, twisted and turned as if they were sentient things writhing in agonies of pain, filled up one end of the room. A great book-case with glass doors extended over the whole of the opposite wall, and exhibited on its shelves long rows of glass jars, in which shapeless dead creatures of a dull white color floated in yellow liquid. Above the fireplace hung a collection of photographic portraits of men and women, inclosed in two large frames hanging side by side with a space between them. The left-hand frame illustrated the effects of nervous suffering as seen in the face; the right-hand frame exhibited the ravages of insanity from the same point of view; while the space between was occupied by an elegantly illuminated scroll, bearing inscribed on it the time-honored motto, ‘Prevention is better than Cure.’
The doctor’s private study was at the back of the house, overlooking fields and trees that were doomed but not yet destroyed by the developer. Awful objects made of brass, leather, and glass, twisted and contorted as if they were living beings writhing in pain, filled one end of the room. A huge bookcase with glass doors stretched across the entire opposite wall, displaying long rows of glass jars containing shapeless dead creatures of a dull white color floating in yellow liquid. Above the fireplace, there was a collection of photographic portraits of men and women, enclosed in two large frames hanging side by side with a space between them. The left frame showed the effects of nervous suffering as seen in the face; the right frame displayed the ravages of insanity from the same perspective; while the space in between was taken up by an elegantly illuminated scroll inscribed with the time-honored motto, ‘Prevention is better than Cure.’
“‘Here I am, with my galvanic apparatus, and my preserved specimens, and all the rest of it,’ said the doctor, placing me in a chair by the fireside. ‘And there is my System mutely addressing you just above your head, under a form of exposition which I venture to describe as frankness itself. This is no mad-house, my dear lady. Let other men treat insanity, if they like—I stop it! No patients in the house as yet. But we live in an age when nervous derangement (parent of insanity) is steadily on the increase; and in due time the sufferers will come. I can wait as Harvey waited, as Jenner waited. And now do put your feet up on the fender, and tell me about yourself. You are married, of course? And what a pretty name! Accept my best and most heart-felt congratulations. You have the two greatest blessings that can fall to a woman’s lot; the two capital H’s, as I call them—Husband and Home.’
“‘Here I am, with my electric equipment and my preserved samples, and everything else,’ said the doctor, putting me in a chair by the fire. ‘And there’s my System silently presenting itself just above your head, in a way I’d describe as complete honesty. This is not a crazy house, my dear lady. Let other men handle madness if they want—I stop it! No patients in the house yet. But we’re living in a time when nervous issues (the precursor to insanity) are steadily rising, and soon enough, those in need will arrive. I can wait like Harvey waited, like Jenner waited. And now, please put your feet up on the fender and tell me about yourself. You’re married, right? And what a lovely name! Accept my warmest and most sincere congratulations. You have the two greatest gifts a woman can have; the two big H’s, as I call them—Husband and Home.’”
“I interrupted the genial flow of the doctor’s congratulations at the first opportunity.
“I interrupted the friendly flow of the doctor’s congratulations at the first chance.”
“‘I am married; but the circumstances are by no means of the ordinary kind,’ I said, seriously. My present position includes none of the blessings that are usually supposed to fall to a woman’s lot. I am already in a situation of very serious difficulty; and before long I may be in a situation of very serious danger as well.’
“I’m married, but it’s definitely not the usual situation,” I said earnestly. My current circumstances lack all the blessings that are typically expected for a woman. I’m already in a situation of great difficulty, and soon I may also find myself in a situation of serious danger.”
“The doctor drew his chair a little nearer to me, and fell at once into his old professional manner and his old confidential tone.
“The doctor pulled his chair a bit closer to me and immediately switched back to his familiar professional style and his usual confidential tone.
“‘If you wish to consult me,’ he said, softly, ‘you know that I have kept some dangerous secrets in my time, and you also know that I possess two valuable qualities as an adviser. I am not easily shocked; and I can be implicitly trusted.’
“‘If you want to talk to me,’ he said quietly, ‘you know that I’ve held onto some pretty dangerous secrets in my time, and you also know that I have two important qualities as an adviser. I’m not easily shocked; and I can be completely trusted.’”
“I hesitated even now, at the eleventh hour, sitting alone with him in his own room. It was so strange to me to be trusting to anybody but myself! And yet, how could I help trusting another person in a difficulty which turned on a matter of law?
“I hesitated even now, at the last moment, sitting alone with him in his own room. It felt so strange to trust anyone but myself! And yet, how could I avoid trusting someone else in a situation that depended on a legal matter?
“‘Just as you please, you know,’ added the doctor. ‘I never invite confidences. I merely receive them.’
“‘Just as you like, you know,’ the doctor added. ‘I never ask for secrets. I just listen to them.’”
“There was no help for it; I had come there not to hesitate, but to speak. I risked it, and spoke.
“There was no way around it; I had come there not to hesitate, but to speak. I took the chance and spoke.”
“‘The matter on which I wish to consult you,’ I said, ‘is not (as you seem to think) within your experience as a professional man. But I believe you may be of assistance to me, if I trust myself to your larger experience as a man of the world. I warn you beforehand that I shall certainly surprise, and possibly alarm, you before I have done.’
“‘The issue I want to discuss with you,’ I said, ‘is not (as you seem to believe) something you have encountered in your professional experience. But I think you could help me if I rely on your broader perspective as someone who understands the world. I want to give you a heads up that I will definitely surprise you, and might even alarm you, before we’re finished.’”
“With that preface I entered on my story, telling him what I had settled to tell him, and no more.
“With that introduction, I started my story, sharing only what I had decided to share and nothing more."
“I made no secret, at the outset, of my intention to personate Armadale’s widow; and I mentioned without reserve (knowing that the doctor could go to the office and examine the will for himself) the handsome income that would be settled on me in the event of my success. Some of the circumstances that followed next in succession I thought it desirable to alter or conceal. I showed him the newspaper account of the loss of the yacht, but I said nothing about events at Naples. I informed him of the exact similarity of the two names; leaving him to imagine that it was accidental. I told him, as an important element in the matter, that my husband had kept his real name a profound secret from everybody but myself; but (to prevent any communication between them) I carefully concealed from the doctor what the assumed name under which Midwinter had lived all his life really was. I acknowledged that I had left my husband behind me on the Continent; but when the doctor put the question, I allowed him to conclude—I couldn’t, with all my resolution, tell him positively!—that Midwinter knew of the contemplated Fraud, and that he was staying away purposely, so as not to compromise me by his presence. This difficulty smoothed over—or, as I feel it now, this baseness committed—I reverted to myself, and came back again to the truth. One after another I mentioned all the circumstances connected with my private marriage, and with the movements of Armadale and Midwinter, which rendered any discovery of the false personation (through the evidence of other people) a downright impossibility. ‘So much,’ I said, in conclusion, ‘for the object in view. The next thing is to tell you plainly of a very serious obstacle that stands in my way.’
“I didn’t hide my intention to impersonate Armadale’s widow right from the start; I openly mentioned the good income I would receive if I succeeded, knowing the doctor could check the will himself. There were some details in the following events that I felt needed to be altered or kept secret. I showed him the newspaper article about the yacht being lost, but I didn’t say anything about what happened in Naples. I pointed out how similar the two names were, leaving him to think it was just a coincidence. I told him that my husband had kept his real name a complete secret from everyone except me, but to avoid them communicating, I carefully hid from the doctor what the name Midwinter had lived under all his life really was. I admitted that I had left my husband behind on the Continent, but when the doctor asked, I let him believe—I just couldn’t bring myself to say it for sure!—that Midwinter was aware of the planned fraud and was intentionally staying away to avoid compromising me. Once I smoothed over this tricky situation—or, as I see it now, committed this dishonest act—I returned to discussing myself and came back to the truth. One by one, I laid out all the details related to my private marriage and the movements of Armadale and Midwinter, which made any chance of discovering the impersonation (through witnesses) completely impossible. ‘So much,’ I concluded, ‘for the aim at hand. The next thing I need to be clear about is a major obstacle that’s in my way.’”
“The doctor, who had listened thus far without interrupting me, begged permission here to say a few words on his side before I went on.
“The doctor, who had been listening without interrupting me so far, asked if he could say a few things on his side before I continued.”
“The ‘few words’ proved to be all questions—clever, searching, suspicious questions—which I was, however, able to answer with little or no reserve, for they related, in almost every instance, to the circumstances under which I had been married, and to the chances for and against my lawful husband if he chose to assert his claim to me at any future time.
“The ‘few words’ turned out to be nothing but questions—clever, probing, and suspicious questions—which I was able to answer with little hesitation, since they mostly dealt with the situation surrounding my marriage and the chances for and against my legitimate husband if he decided to claim his rights over me at any time in the future."
“My replies informed the doctor, in the first place, that I had so managed matters at Thorpe Ambrose as to produce a general impression that Armadale intended to marry me; in the second place, that my husband’s early life had not been of a kind to exhibit him favorably in the eyes of the world; in the third place, that we had been married, without any witnesses present who knew us, at a large parish church in which two other couples had been married the same morning, to say nothing of the dozens on dozens of other couples (confusing all remembrance of us in the minds of the officiating people) who had been married since. When I had put the doctor in possession of these facts—and when he had further ascertained that Midwinter and I had gone abroad among strangers immediately after leaving the church; and that the men employed on board the yacht in which Armadale had sailed from Somersetshire (before my marriage) were now away in ships voyaging to the other end of the world—his confidence in my prospects showed itself plainly in his face. ‘So far as I can see,’ he said, ‘your husband’s claim to you (after you have stepped into the place of the dead Mr. Armadale’s widow) would rest on nothing but his own bare assertion. And that I think you may safely set at defiance. Excuse my apparent distrust of the gentleman. But there might be a misunderstanding between you in the future, and it is highly desirable to ascertain beforehand exactly what he could or could not do under those circumstances. And now that we have done with the main obstacle that I see in the way of your success, let us by all means come to the obstacle that you see next!’
“My responses made it clear to the doctor, first, that I had handled things at Thorpe Ambrose in a way that gave the impression that Armadale intended to marry me; second, that my husband's early life had not shown him in a good light to the public; and third, that we had gotten married at a large parish church with no witnesses who knew us, on a morning when two other couples also tied the knot, not to mention all the other couples (who have since merged into a blur in the minds of the officiating clergy) that had married there before us. After I shared these details with the doctor—and once he confirmed that Midwinter and I traveled abroad among strangers right after leaving the church, and that the crew of the yacht from which Armadale had set sail from Somersetshire (before my marriage) were now off in ships traveling to the other side of the world—his confidence in my situation was clear on his face. ‘As far as I can see,’ he said, ‘your husband's claim to you (once you take the place of the late Mr. Armadale's widow) would rely solely on his own word. And that I think you can safely ignore. Please forgive my clear skepticism about the gentleman. But there might be a misunderstanding between you down the line, and it's very important to figure out beforehand exactly what he could or couldn't do in those circumstances. Now that we’ve dealt with the main barrier that I see to your success, let’s definitely tackle the barrier that you see next!’”
“I was willing enough to come to it. The tone in which he spoke of Midwinter, though I myself was responsible for it, jarred on me horribly, and roused for the moment some of the old folly of feeling which I fancied I had laid asleep forever. I rushed at the chance of changing the subject, and mentioned the discrepancy in the register between the hand in which Midwinter had signed the name of Allan Armadale, and the hand in which Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose had been accustomed to write his name, with an eagerness which it quite diverted the doctor to see.
“I was more than willing to get into it. The way he talked about Midwinter, even though I was the one who was responsible for it, really rubbed me the wrong way and stirred up some of the old feelings I thought I had buried for good. I jumped at the chance to change the subject and brought up the difference in the register between the way Midwinter signed Allan Armadale's name and the way Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose usually wrote his name, with an eagerness that seemed to really amuse the doctor.”
“‘Is that all?’ he asked, to my infinite surprise and relief, when I had done. ‘My dear lady, pray set your mind at ease! If the late Mr. Armadale’s lawyers want a proof of your marriage, they won’t go to the church-register for it, I can promise you!’
“‘Is that it?’ he asked, to my complete surprise and relief, after I had finished. ‘My dear lady, please relax! If the late Mr. Armadale’s lawyers need proof of your marriage, I can assure you they won’t be checking the church register for it!’”
“‘What!’ I exclaimed, in astonishment. ‘Do you mean to say that the entry in the register is not a proof of my marriage?’
“‘What!’ I said, in shock. ‘Are you saying that the entry in the register isn’t proof of my marriage?’”
“‘It is a proof,’ said the doctor, ‘that you have been married to somebody. But it is no proof that you have been married to Mr. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose. Jack Nokes or Tom Styles (excuse the homeliness of the illustration!) might have got the license, and gone to the church to be married to you under Mr. Armadale’s name; and the register (how could it do otherwise?) must in that case have innocently assisted the deception. I see I surprise you. My dear madam, when you opened this interesting business you surprised me—I may own it now—by laying so much stress on the curious similarity between the two names. You might have entered on the very daring and romantic enterprise in which you are now engaged, without necessarily marrying your present husband. Any other man would have done just as well, provided he was willing to take Mr. Armadale’s name for the purpose.’
“‘It proves,’ said the doctor, ‘that you were married to someone. But it doesn’t prove that you were married to Mr. Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose. Jack Nokes or Tom Styles (sorry for the plain example!) could have gotten the license and gone to the church to marry you using Mr. Armadale’s name; and the register (how could it not?) would have unwittingly supported the deception. I can see I’ve caught you off guard. My dear madam, when you brought up this intriguing matter, you surprised me—I admit it now—by emphasizing the odd similarity between the two names. You could have embarked on the bold and romantic venture you’re currently pursuing without necessarily marrying your current husband. Any other man would have sufficed, as long as he was willing to take Mr. Armadale’s name for the occasion.’”
“I felt my temper going at this. ‘Any other man would not have done just as well,’ I rejoined, instantly. ‘But for the similarity of the names, I should never have thought of the enterprise at all.’
“I felt my anger rising at this. ‘Any other man would not have done just as well,’ I shot back immediately. ‘If it weren't for the similarity of the names, I would have never thought of the project at all.’”
“The doctor admitted that he had spoken too hastily. ‘That personal view of the subject had, I confess, escaped me,’ he said. ‘However, let us get back to the matter in hand. In the course of what I may term an adventurous medical life, I have been brought more than once into contact with the gentlemen of the law, and have had opportunities of observing their proceedings in cases of, let us say, Domestic Jurisprudence. I am quite sure I am correct in informing you that the proof which will be required by Mr. Armadale’s representatives will be the evidence of a witness present at the marriage who can speak to the identity of the bride and bridegroom from his own personal knowledge.’
“The doctor acknowledged that he had spoken too quickly. ‘I admit that I overlooked that personal perspective on the subject,’ he said. ‘Now, let’s return to the topic at hand. Throughout my somewhat adventurous medical career, I have often encountered the legal professionals and had the chance to observe their processes in cases related to, let’s say, Domestic Law. I’m confident in telling you that the evidence required by Mr. Armadale’s representatives will be the testimony of a witness who was present at the wedding and can confirm the identities of the bride and groom based on their own personal knowledge.’”
“‘But I have already told you,’ I said, ‘that there was no such person present.’
“‘But I've already told you,’ I said, ‘that there was no one like that present.’”
“‘Precisely,’ rejoined the doctor. ‘In that case, what you now want, before you can safely stir a step in the matter, is—if you will pardon me the expression—a ready-made witness, possessed of rare moral and personal resources, who can be trusted to assume the necessary character, and to make the necessary Declaration before a magistrate. Do you know of any such person?’ asked the doctor, throwing himself back in his chair, and looking at me with the utmost innocence.
“‘Exactly,’ replied the doctor. ‘In that case, what you need now, before you can safely take any action, is—if you don’t mind me saying—a prepared witness, someone with exceptional moral and personal qualities, who can be trusted to take on the required role and make the necessary declaration before a magistrate. Do you know anyone like that?’ asked the doctor, leaning back in his chair and looking at me with the utmost innocence.”
“‘I only know you,’ I said.
“I only know you,” I said.
“The doctor laughed softly. ‘So like a woman!’ he remarked, with the most exasperating good humor. ‘The moment she sees her object, she dashes at it headlong the nearest way. Oh, the sex! the sex!’
“The doctor chuckled softly. ‘So typical of a woman!’ he said, with the most exasperatingly good humor. ‘The moment she spots her target, she rushes straight for it without thinking. Oh, women!’”
“‘Never mind the sex!’ I broke out, impatiently. ‘I want a serious answer—Yes or No?’
“‘Forget about the sex!’ I said, feeling impatient. ‘I want a real answer—Yes or No?’”
“The doctor rose, and waved his hand with great gravity and dignity all round the room. ‘You see this vast establishment,’ he began; ‘you can possibly estimate to some extent the immense stake I have in its prosperity and success. Your excellent natural sense will tell you that the Principal of this Sanitarium must be a man of the most unblemished character—’
“The doctor stood up and waved his hand seriously and confidently around the room. ‘You see this large facility,’ he began; ‘you can probably appreciate to some degree the significant investment I have in its success and well-being. Your good common sense will tell you that the Principal of this Sanitarium must be a person of the highest integrity—’”
“‘Why waste so many words,’ I said, ‘when one word will do? You mean No!’
“‘Why waste so many words,’ I said, ‘when one word will do? You mean No!’”
“The Principal of the Sanitarium suddenly relapsed into the character of my confidential friend.
“The Principal of the Sanitarium suddenly reverted to being my trusted friend.
“‘My dear lady,’ he said, ‘it isn’t Yes, and it isn’t No, at a moment’s notice. Give me till to-morrow afternoon. By that time I engage to be ready to do one of two things—either to withdraw myself from this business at once, or to go into it with you heart and soul. Do you agree to that? Very good; we may drop the subject, then, till to-morrow. Where can I call on you when I have decided what to do?’
“‘My dear lady,’ he said, ‘it's not a simple yes or no right now. Give me until tomorrow afternoon. By then, I promise I’ll be ready to do one of two things—either to back out of this entirely or to jump in with you wholeheartedly. Are you okay with that? Great; we can drop the topic until tomorrow. Where can I reach you when I’ve made my decision?’”
“There was no objection to my trusting him with my address at the hotel. I had taken care to present myself there as ‘Mrs. Armadale’; and I had given Midwinter an address at the neighboring post-office to write to when he answered my letters. We settled the hour at which the doctor was to call on me; and, that matter arranged, I rose to go, resisting all offers of refreshment, and all proposals to show me over the house. His smooth persistence in keeping up appearances after we had thoroughly understood each other disgusted me. I got away from him as soon as I could, and came back to my diary and my own room.
“There was no problem with me giving him my address at the hotel. I had made sure to register there as ‘Mrs. Armadale,’ and I had given Midwinter an address at the nearby post office to write to when he replied to my letters. We agreed on the time the doctor was supposed to visit me, and with that arranged, I stood up to leave, turning down all offers of snacks and any suggestions to tour the house. His insistence on maintaining appearances after we had both understood the situation disgusted me. I left him as quickly as I could and returned to my diary and my own room.”
“We shall see how it ends to-morrow. My own idea is that my confidential friend will say Yes.”
“We'll see how it ends tomorrow. I think my trusted friend will say yes.”
“November 24th.—The doctor has said Yes, as I supposed; but on terms which I never anticipated. The condition on which I have secured his services amounts to nothing less than the payment to him, on my stepping into the place of Armadale’s widow, of half my first year’s income—in other words, six hundred pounds!
“November 24th.—The doctor has agreed, just as I expected; but under terms I never saw coming. The condition for securing his help is that I pay him half of my first year's salary—six hundred pounds—when I take over as Armadale's widow!”
“I protested against this extortionate demand in every way I could think of. All to no purpose. The doctor met me with the most engaging frankness. Nothing, he said, but the accidental embarrassment of his position at the present time would have induced him to mix himself up in the matter at all. He would honestly confess that he had exhausted his own resources, and the resources of other persons whom he described as his ‘backers,’ in the purchase and completion of the Sanitarium. Under those circumstances, six hundred pounds in prospect was an object to him. For that sum he would run the serious risk of advising and assisting me. Not a farthing less would tempt him; and there he left it, with his best and friendliest wishes, in my hands!
“I protested against this outrageous demand in every way I could think of. All for nothing. The doctor responded with the most charming honesty. He said that only the unfortunate awkwardness of his current situation would have motivated him to get involved at all. He would honestly admit that he had exhausted his own resources, and those of others whom he referred to as his ‘backers,’ in the purchase and completion of the Sanitarium. Given those circumstances, six hundred pounds was significant for him. For that amount, he would take the serious risk of advising and assisting me. Not a penny less would entice him; and that was where he left it, with his best and friendliest wishes, in my hands!
“It ended in the only way in which it could end. I had no choice but to accept the terms, and to let the doctor settle things on the spot as he pleased. The arrangement once made between us, I must do him the justice to say that he showed no disposition to let the grass grow under his feet. He called briskly for pen, ink and paper, and suggested opening the campaign at Thorpe Ambrose by to-night’s post.
“It ended in the only way it could. I had no choice but to accept the terms and let the doctor handle everything as he saw fit. Once we agreed, I have to give him credit for not wasting any time. He quickly asked for pen, ink, and paper and suggested starting the campaign at Thorpe Ambrose with tonight’s mail.”
“We agreed on a form of letter which I wrote, and which he copied on the spot. I entered into no particulars at starting. I simply asserted that I was the widow of the deceased Mr. Armadale; that I had been privately married to him; that I had returned to England on his sailing in the yacht from Naples; and that I begged to inclose a copy of my marriage certificate, as a matter of form with which I presumed it was customary to comply. The letter was addressed to ‘The Representatives of the late Allan Armadale, Esq., Thorpe Ambrose, Norfolk.’ And the doctor himself carried it away, and put it in the post.
“We agreed on the format of a letter which I wrote, and he copied it right there. I didn’t go into any details at the beginning. I simply stated that I was the widow of the late Mr. Armadale; that I had been privately married to him; that I had returned to England when he left for Naples on the yacht; and that I wanted to include a copy of my marriage certificate, as it seemed to be a formal requirement. The letter was addressed to ‘The Representatives of the late Allan Armadale, Esq., Thorpe Ambrose, Norfolk.’ And the doctor himself took it and mailed it.”
“I am not so excited and so impatient for results as I expected to be, now that the first step is taken. The thought of Midwinter haunts me like a ghost. I have been writing to him again—as before, to keep up appearances. It will be my last letter, I think. My courage feels shaken, my spirits get depressed, when my thoughts go back to Turin. I am no more capable of facing the consideration of Midwinter at this moment than I was in the by-gone time, The day of reckoning with him, once distant and doubtful, is a day that may come to me now, I know not how soon. And here I am, trusting myself blindly to the chapter of Accidents still!”
“I’m not as excited or impatient for results as I thought I’d be now that I’ve taken the first step. The thought of Midwinter haunts me like a ghost. I’ve been writing to him again—like before, to keep up appearances. I think this will be my last letter. My courage feels shaken, and my spirits drop when I think back to Turin. I’m no more capable of dealing with the thought of Midwinter right now than I was before. The day of reckoning with him, which once felt distant and uncertain, is a day that might come for me soon, though I can’t say when. And here I am, still trusting myself blindly to chance!”
“November 25th.—At two o’clock to-day the doctor called again by appointment. He has been to his lawyers (of course without taking them into our confidence) to put the case simply of proving my marriage. The result confirms what he has already told me. The pivot on which the whole matter will turn, if my claim is disputed, will be the question of identity; and it may be necessary for the witness to make his Declaration in the magistrate’s presence before the week is out.
“November 25th.—At two o’clock today, the doctor came over again as scheduled. He has visited his lawyers (without bringing us into the loop) to discuss the basics of proving my marriage. The outcome reaffirms what he has already indicated to me. The key issue that will determine everything, if my claim is challenged, will be the question of identity; and it might be necessary for the witness to make his Declaration in front of the magistrate before the end of the week.”
“In this position of affairs, the doctor thinks it important that we should be within easy reach of each other, and proposes to find a quiet lodging for me in his neighborhood. I am quite willing to go anywhere; for, among the other strange fancies that have got possession of me, I have an idea that I shall feel more completely lost to Midwinter if I move out of the neighborhood in which his letters are addressed to me. I was awake and thinking of him again last night. This morning I have finally decided to write to him no more.
“In this situation, the doctor thinks it's important that we stay close to each other and suggests finding a quiet place for me to stay near him. I'm totally fine with going anywhere; among the other strange thoughts that have taken over my mind, I feel like I’ll be more completely disconnected from Midwinter if I move away from the area where his letters are sent to me. I was awake thinking about him again last night. This morning, I've finally decided not to write to him anymore.”
“After staying half an hour, the doctor left me, having first inquired whether I would like to accompany him to Hampstead to look for lodgings. I informed him that I had some business of my own which would keep me in London. He inquired what the business was. ‘You will see,’ I said, ‘to-morrow or next day.’
“After staying for half an hour, the doctor left, but not before asking if I wanted to join him in Hampstead to search for places to stay. I told him I had some personal matters to attend to that would keep me in London. He asked what those matters were. ‘You’ll see,’ I replied, ‘tomorrow or the day after.’”
“I had a moment’s nervous trembling when I was by myself again. My business in London, besides being a serious business in a woman’s eyes, took my mind back to Midwinter in spite of me. The prospect of removing to my new lodging had reminded me of the necessity of dressing in my new character. The time had come now for getting my widow’s weeds.
“I felt a brief wave of nervousness when I was alone again. My business in London, which was something serious for a woman, reminded me of Midwinter despite my efforts to push it away. The thought of moving to my new place brought to mind the need to dress in my new role. It was time to get my widow’s weeds.
“My first proceeding, after putting my bonnet on, was to provide myself with money. I got what I wanted to fit me out for the character of Armadale’s widow by nothing less than the sale of Armadale’s own present to me on my marriage—the ruby ring! It proved to be a more valuable jewel than I had supposed. I am likely to be spared all money anxieties for some time to come.
“My first step, after putting on my hat, was to get some money. I managed to get what I needed to present myself as Armadale’s widow by selling nothing less than the ruby ring that Armadale gave me when we got married! It turned out to be more valuable than I thought. I should be free from any money worries for a while.”
“On leaving the jeweler’s, I went to the great mourning shop in Regent Street. In four-and-twenty hours (if I can give them no more) they have engaged to dress me in my widow’s costume from head to foot. I had another feverish moment when I left the shop; and, by way of further excitement on this agitating day, I found a surprise in store for me on my return to the hotel. An elderly gentleman was announced to be waiting to see me. I opened my sitting-room door, and there was old Bashwood!
“After leaving the jeweler's, I went to the large mourning shop on Regent Street. In just twenty-four hours (if I can spare them any longer), they promised to have my widow's outfit ready from head to toe. I had another intense moment when I left the shop, and to add to the excitement of this overwhelming day, I found a surprise waiting for me when I got back to the hotel. An older gentleman was announced as waiting to see me. I opened my sitting-room door, and there was old Bashwood!”
“He had got my letter that morning, and had started for London by the next train to answer it in person. I had expected a great deal from him, but I had certainly not expected that. It flattered me. For the moment, I declare it flattered me!
“He got my letter that morning and took the next train to London to reply in person. I had high expectations for him, but I definitely didn’t expect that. It flattered me. For the moment, I admit it flattered me!”
“I pass over the wretched old creature’s raptures and reproaches, and groans and tears, and weary long prosings about the lonely months he had passed at Thorpe Ambrose, brooding over my desertion of him. He was quite eloquent at times; but I don’t want his eloquence here. It is needless to say that I put myself right with him, and consulted his feelings before I asked him for his news. What a blessing a woman’s vanity is sometimes! I almost forgot my risks and responsibilities in my anxieties to be charming. For a minute or two I felt a warm little flutter of triumph. And it was a triumph—even with an old man! In a quarter of an hour I had him smirking and smiling, hanging on my lightest words in an ecstasy, and answering all the questions I put to him like a good little child.
I overlook the miserable old man's rants and complaints, and his groans and tears, and his long-winded talks about the lonely months he spent at Thorpe Ambrose, dwelling on my leaving him. He could be pretty expressive at times, but I don't need his speeches right now. It's obvious that I made sure to clear things up with him and checked in on how he felt before I asked him for news. Sometimes, a woman's vanity is such a blessing! I nearly forgot about my risks and responsibilities in my desire to be charming. For a brief moment, I felt a little thrill of victory. And it was a victory—even with an old man! In just fifteen minutes, I had him grinning and smiling, hanging on my every word in delight, and answering all my questions like a good little child.
“Here is his account of affairs at Thorpe Ambrose, as I gently extracted it from him bit by bit:
“Here is his story about what happened at Thorpe Ambrose, as I carefully got it out of him piece by piece:
“In the first place, the news of Armadale’s death has reached Miss Milroy. It has so completely overwhelmed her that her father has been compelled to remove her from the school. She is back at the cottage, and the doctor is in daily attendance. Do I pity her? Yes! I pity her exactly as much as she once pitied me!
“In the first place, the news of Armadale’s death has reached Miss Milroy. It has completely overwhelmed her, so much so that her father had to take her out of the school. She is back at the cottage, and the doctor visits every day. Do I feel sorry for her? Yes! I feel sorry for her just as much as she once felt sorry for me!
“In the next place, the state of affairs at the great house, which I expected to find some difficulty in comprehending, turns out to be quite intelligible, and certainly not discouraging so far. Only yesterday, the lawyers on both sides came to an understanding. Mr. Darch (the family solicitor of the Blanchards, and Armadale’s bitter enemy in past times) represents the interests of Miss Blanchard, who (in the absence of any male heir) is next heir to the estate, and who has, it appears, been in London for some time past. Mr. Smart, of Norwich (originally employed to overlook Bashwood), represents the deceased Armadale. And this is what the two lawyers have settled between them.
“In the next place, the situation at the big house, which I thought would be hard to understand, turns out to be quite clear and definitely not discouraging so far. Just yesterday, the lawyers on both sides reached an agreement. Mr. Darch (the Blanchards' family lawyer and Armadale’s long-time enemy) represents the interests of Miss Blanchard, who (since there is no male heir) is the next heir to the estate and has apparently been in London for a while. Mr. Smart, from Norwich (originally hired to oversee Bashwood), represents the late Armadale. And this is what the two lawyers have agreed on.”
“Mr. Darch, acting for Miss Blanchard, has claimed the possession of the estate, and the right of receiving the rents at the Christmas audit, in her name. Mr. Smart, on his side, has admitted that there is great weight in the family solicitor’s application. He cannot see his way, as things are now, to contesting the question of Armadale’s death, and he will consent to offer no resistance to the application, if Mr. Darch will consent, on his side, to assume the responsibility of taking possession in Miss Blanchard’s name. This Mr. Darch has already done; and the estate is now virtually in Miss Blanchard’s possession.
“Mr. Darch, representing Miss Blanchard, has claimed ownership of the estate and the right to collect the rents at the Christmas audit in her name. Mr. Smart has acknowledged that there is significant merit in the family lawyer’s request. Given the current situation, he doesn't see a way to dispute the matter of Armadale’s death, and he will agree to not oppose the request if Mr. Darch agrees to take on the responsibility of assuming possession in Miss Blanchard’s name. Mr. Darch has already done this; the estate is now essentially in Miss Blanchard’s possession.”
“One result of this course of proceeding will be (as Bashwood thinks) to put Mr. Darch in the position of the person who really decides on my claim to the widow’s place and the widow’s money. The income being charged on the estate, it must come out of Miss Blanchard’s pocket; and the question of paying it would appear, therefore, to be a question for Miss Blanchard’s lawyer. To-morrow will probably decide whether this view is the right one, for my letter to Armadale’s representatives will have been delivered at the great house this morning.
“One result of this approach will be (as Bashwood thinks) to put Mr. Darch in the position of the person who really decides on my claim to the widow’s spot and the widow’s money. Since the income is charged to the estate, it will have to come out of Miss Blanchard’s pocket; so the question of paying it seems to be one for Miss Blanchard’s lawyer. Tomorrow will likely determine if this perspective is correct, as my letter to Armadale’s representatives should have been delivered at the big house this morning.”
“So much for what old Bashwood had to tell me. Having recovered my influence over him, and possessed myself of all his information so far, the next thing to consider was the right use to turn him to in the future. He was entirely at my disposal, for his place at the steward’s office has been already taken by Miss Blanchard’s man of business, and he pleaded hard to be allowed to stay and serve my interests in London. There would not have been the least danger in letting him stay, for I had, as a matter of course, left him undisturbed in his conviction that I really am the widow of Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose. But with the doctor’s resources at my command, I wanted no assistance of any sort in London; and it occurred to me that I might make Bashwood more useful by sending him back to Norfolk to watch events there in my interests.
“So much for what old Bashwood had to tell me. Having regained my influence over him and gathered all his information so far, the next thing to think about was how to use him in the future. He was completely at my disposal since his position at the steward’s office had already been taken by Miss Blanchard’s business guy, and he begged hard to be allowed to stay and serve my interests in London. There wouldn’t have been any danger in letting him stay, as I had, of course, left him convinced that I really am the widow of Armadale of Thorpe Ambrose. But with the doctor’s resources at my disposal, I didn’t need any help in London; and it occurred to me that I could make Bashwood more useful by sending him back to Norfolk to keep an eye on events there for my benefit."
“He looked sorely disappointed (having had an eye evidently to paying his court to me in my widowed condition!) when I told him of the conclusion at which I had arrived. But a few words of persuasion, and a modest hint that he might cherish hopes in the future if he served me obediently in the present, did wonders in reconciling him to the necessity of meeting my wishes. He asked helplessly for ‘instructions’ when it was time for him to leave me and travel back by the evening train. I could give him none, for I had no idea as yet of what the legal people might or might not do. ‘But suppose something happens,’ he persisted, ‘that I don’t understand, what am I to do, so far away from you?’ I could only give him one answer. ‘Do nothing,’ I said. ‘Whatever it is, hold your tongue about it, and write, or come up to London immediately to consult me.’ With those parting directions, and with an understanding that we were to correspond regularly, I let him kiss my hand, and sent him off to the train.
“He looked really disappointed (since he clearly had intentions of courting me in my widowed state!) when I shared my decision. But a few words of persuasion and a subtle hint that he might have a chance in the future if he followed my wishes now worked wonders in getting him on board. He helplessly asked for ‘instructions’ when it was time for him to leave and catch the evening train. I couldn't provide any, as I still had no idea what the legal folks might or might not do. ‘But what if something happens,’ he insisted, ‘and I don’t understand it? What am I supposed to do, being so far away from you?’ I could only give him one answer. ‘Do nothing,’ I said. ‘Whatever it is, keep quiet about it, and either write or come to London right away to consult with me.’ With those final instructions and understanding that we would keep in touch regularly, I let him kiss my hand and sent him off to the train.”
“Now that I am alone again, and able to think calmly of the interview between me and my elderly admirer, I find myself recalling a certain change in old Bashwood’s manner which puzzled me at the time, and which puzzles me still.
“Now that I’m alone again and can think clearly about the meeting I had with my older admirer, I can’t help but remember a particular change in old Bashwood’s behavior that confused me back then and still confuses me now.”
“Even in his first moments of agitation at seeing me, I thought that his eyes rested on my face with a new kind of interest while I was speaking to him. Besides this, he dropped a word or two afterward, in telling me of his lonely life at Thorpe Ambrose, which seemed to imply that he had been sustained in his solitude by a feeling of confidence about his future relations with me when we next met. If he had been a younger and a bolder man (and if any such discovery had been possible), I should almost have suspected him of having found out something about my past life which had made him privately confident of controlling me, if I showed any disposition to deceive and desert him again. But such an idea as this in connection with old Bashwood is simply absurd. Perhaps I am overexcited by the suspense and anxiety of my present position? Perhaps the merest fancies and suspicions are leading me astray? Let this be as it may, I have, at any rate, more serious subjects than the subject of old Bashwood to occupy me now. Tomorrow’s post may tell me what Armadale’s representatives think of the claim of Armadale’s widow.”
“Even in the first moments of anxiety when he saw me, I noticed that his eyes focused on my face with a new kind of interest while I spoke to him. In addition, he mentioned a word or two later about his lonely life in Thorpe Ambrose, which suggested he felt a sense of confidence about our future interactions when we met again. If he had been younger and bolder (and if such a discovery were possible), I might have suspected he uncovered something about my past that made him quietly confident he could control me if I showed any signs of wanting to deceive or abandon him again. But the idea of that with old Bashwood is simply ridiculous. Maybe I’m just overexcited by the suspense and anxiety of my current situation? Maybe I’m being led astray by mere thoughts and suspicions? Regardless, I have more serious matters than old Bashwood to focus on right now. Tomorrow’s mail might reveal what Armadale’s representatives think about Armadale’s widow's claim.”
“November 26th.—The answer has arrived this morning, in the form (as Bashwood supposed) of a letter from Mr. Darch. The crabbed old lawyer acknowledges my letter in three lines. Before he takes any steps, or expresses any opinion on the subject, he wants evidence of identity as well as the evidence of the certificate; and he ventures to suggest that it may be desirable, before we go any further, to refer him to my legal advisers.
“November 26th.—The answer arrived this morning, in the form (as Bashwood suspected) of a letter from Mr. Darch. The grumpy old lawyer acknowledges my letter in three lines. Before he takes any action or shares any opinion on the matter, he wants proof of identity in addition to the certificate. He also suggests that it might be a good idea to refer him to my legal advisors before we proceed any further.”
“Two o’clock.—The doctor called shortly after twelve to say that he had found a lodging for me within twenty minutes’ walk of the Sanitarium. In return for his news, I showed him Mr. Darch’s letter. He took it away at once to his lawyers, and came back with the necessary information for my guidance. I have answered Mr. Darch by sending him the address of my legal advisers—otherwise, the doctor’s lawyers—without making any comment on the desire that he has expressed for additional evidence of the marriage. This is all that can be done to-day. To-morrow will bring with it events of greater interest, for to-morrow the doctor is to make his Declaration before the magistrate, and to-morrow I am to move to my new lodging in my widow’s weeds.”
“Two o’clock.—The doctor called just after twelve to let me know he found a place for me within a twenty-minute walk from the Sanitarium. In exchange for the update, I showed him Mr. Darch’s letter. He took it to his lawyers right away and returned with the information I needed. I've replied to Mr. Darch by sending him the address of my legal advisors—who are also the doctor’s lawyers—without commenting on his request for more proof of the marriage. This is all I can do today. Tomorrow will bring more interesting events, as the doctor will make his declaration before the magistrate, and I will move to my new place in my widow’s attire.”
“November 27th.—Fairweather Vale Villas.—The Declaration has been made, with all the necessary formalities. And I have taken possession, in my widow’s costume, of my new rooms.
“November 27th.—Fairweather Vale Villas.—The Declaration has been made, with all the necessary formalities. And I've taken possession, in my widow's outfit, of my new rooms.”
“I ought to be excited by the opening of this new act in the drama, and by the venturesome part that I am playing in it myself. Strange to say, I am quiet and depressed. The thought of Midwinter has followed me to my new abode, and is pressing on me heavily at this moment. I have no fear of any accident happening, in the interval that must still pass before I step publicly into the place of Armadale’s widow. But when that time comes, and when Midwinter finds me (as sooner or later find me he must!) figuring in my false character, and settled in the position that I have usurped—then, I ask myself, What will happen? The answer still comes as it first came to me this morning, when I put on my widow’s dress. Now, as then, the presentiment is fixed in my mind that he will kill me. If it was not too late to draw back—Absurd! I shall shut up my journal.”
"I should be excited about this new chapter in my life and the daring role I'm playing in it. Strangely, I feel calm and downcast. The thought of Midwinter has followed me to my new home and is weighing heavily on me right now. I'm not worried about anything happening in the time before I publicly take the role of Armadale’s widow. But when that day comes, and when Midwinter finds me (as he inevitably will!) pretending to be someone I'm not and in the position I've taken—then, I wonder, what will happen? The answer is still the same as it was when I put on my widow’s dress this morning. Just like before, I have a strong feeling that he will kill me. If it weren’t too late to back out—absurd! I'll just close my journal."
“November 28th.—The lawyers have heard from Mr. Darch, and have sent him the Declaration by return of post.
“November 28th.—The lawyers have heard from Mr. Darch and have sent him the Declaration back by return mail.”
“When the doctor brought me this news, I asked him whether his lawyers were aware of my present address; and, finding that he had not yet mentioned it to them, I begged that he would continue to keep it a secret for the future. The doctor laughed. ‘Are you afraid of Mr. Darch’s stealing a march on us, and coming to attack you personally?’ he asked. I accepted the imputation, as the easiest way of making him comply with my request. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I am afraid of Mr. Darch.’
“When the doctor gave me this news, I asked him if his lawyers knew my current address; and when I found out he hadn’t mentioned it to them yet, I requested that he keep it a secret moving forward. The doctor laughed. ‘Are you worried that Mr. Darch will get the jump on us and come after you himself?’ he asked. I accepted the suggestion, as it was the easiest way to get him to agree to my request. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I am worried about Mr. Darch.’”
“My spirits have risen since the doctor left me. There is a pleasant sensation of security in feeling that no strangers are in possession of my address. I am easy enough in my mind to-day to notice how wonderfully well I look in my widow’s weeds, and to make myself agreeable to the people of the house.
“My mood has improved since the doctor left. I feel a comforting sense of security knowing that no strangers have my address. I'm relaxed enough today to appreciate how great I look in my widow’s outfit and to be pleasant to the people in the house."
“Midwinter disturbed me a little again last night; but I have got over the ghastly delusion which possessed me yesterday. I know better now than to dread violence from him when he discovers what I have done. And there is still less fear of his stooping to assert his claim to a woman who has practiced on him such a deception as mine. The one serious trial that I shall be put to when the day of reckoning comes will be the trial of preserving my false character in his presence. I shall be safe in his loathing and contempt for me, after that. On the day when I have denied him to his face, I shall have seen the last of him forever.
“Midwinter troubled me a bit again last night, but I've gotten past the awful delusion that haunted me yesterday. I know better now than to fear violence from him when he finds out what I've done. And I’m even less worried about him trying to claim a woman who has deceived him like I have. The only real challenge I’ll face when the day of reckoning arrives will be maintaining my false persona in front of him. After that, I’ll be safe in his hatred and disdain for me. The day I confront him and deny him to his face will be the last time I ever see him.”
“Shall I be able to deny him to his face? Shall I be able to look at him and speak to him as if he had never been more to me than a friend? How do I know till the time comes? Was there ever such an infatuated fool as I am, to be writing of him at all, when writing only encourages me to think of him? I will make a new resolution. From this time forth, his name shall appear no more in these pages.”
“Will I be able to deny him to his face? Will I be able to look at him and talk to him as if he had never meant more to me than a friend? How can I know until the moment arrives? Was there ever a bigger fool than I am for even writing about him, when writing just makes me think of him more? I’m going to make a new resolution. From now on, his name will no longer appear in these pages.”
“Monday, December 1st.—The last month of the worn-out old year 1851! If I allowed myself to look back, what a miserable year I should see added to all the other miserable years that are gone! But I have made my resolution to look forward only, and I mean to keep it.
“Monday, December 1st.—The last month of the exhausted old year 1851! If I let myself reflect on the past, I would see another terrible year added to all the other bad years that have passed! But I've decided to only look ahead, and I intend to stick to it.”
“I have nothing to record of the last two days, except that on the twenty-ninth I remembered Bashwood, and wrote to tell him of my new address. This morning the lawyers heard again from Mr. Darch. He acknowledges the receipt of the Declaration, but postpones stating the decision at which he has arrived until he has communicated with the trustees under the late Mr. Blanchard’s will, and has received his final instructions from his client, Miss Blanchard. The doctor’s lawyers declare that this last letter is a mere device for gaining time—with what object they are, of course, not in a position to guess. The doctor himself says, facetiously, it is the usual lawyer’s object of making a long bill. My own idea is that Mr. Darch has his suspicions of something wrong, and that his purpose in trying to gain time—”
"I haven’t recorded anything from the last two days, except that on the twenty-ninth, I remembered Bashwood and wrote to let him know my new address. This morning, the lawyers heard from Mr. Darch again. He acknowledges receiving the Declaration but delays stating his decision until he talks to the trustees of the late Mr. Blanchard’s will and gets his final instructions from his client, Miss Blanchard. The doctor’s lawyers claim that this latest letter is just a tactic to buy time—though they obviously can't guess why. The doctor himself jokingly says it’s the typical lawyer’s tactic of creating a lengthy bill. I suspect that Mr. Darch has a hunch something isn’t right, and his intention to buy time—”
“Ten, at night.—I had written as far as that last unfinished sentence (toward four in the afternoon) when I was startled by hearing a cab drive up to the door. I went to the window, and got there just in time to see old Bashwood getting out with an activity of which I should never have supposed him capable. So little did I anticipate the tremendous discovery that was going to burst on me in another minute, that I turned to the glass, and wondered what the susceptible old gentleman would say to me in my widow’s cap.
“Ten at night.—I had written up to that last unfinished sentence (around four in the afternoon) when I was surprised to hear a cab pull up to the door. I went to the window and got there just in time to see old Bashwood getting out with an energy I never would have thought him capable of. I was so unprepared for the shocking discovery that was about to hit me in a minute that I looked in the mirror and wondered what the sensitive old gentleman would say to me in my widow’s cap.”
“The instant he entered the room, I saw that some serious disaster had happened. His eyes were wild, his wig was awry. He approached me with a strange mixture of eagerness and dismay. ‘I’ve done as you told me,’ he whispered, breathlessly. ‘I’ve held my tongue about it, and come straight to you!’ He caught me by the hand before I could speak, with a boldness quite new in my experience of him. ‘Oh how can I break it to you!’ he burst out. ‘I’m beside myself when I think of it!’
"The moment he walked into the room, I could tell that something really bad had happened. His eyes were wide with panic, and his wig was out of place. He came over to me with a weird mix of excitement and shock. ‘I did what you asked,’ he whispered, out of breath. ‘I kept quiet about it and came straight to you!’ He grabbed my hand before I could say anything, with a boldness I'd never seen from him before. ‘Oh, how can I tell you!’ he exclaimed. ‘I’m losing my mind just thinking about it!’"
“‘When you can speak,’ I said, putting him into a chair, ‘speak out. I see in your face that you bring me news I don’t look for from Thorpe Ambrose.’
“‘When you can speak,’ I said, putting him into a chair, ‘speak up. I can see on your face that you have news for me that I’m not expecting from Thorpe Ambrose.’”
“He put his hand into the breast-pocket of his coat, and drew out a letter. He looked at the letter, and looked at me. ‘New—new—news you don’t look for,’ he stammered; ‘but not from Thorpe Ambrose!’
“He reached into the breast pocket of his coat and pulled out a letter. He glanced at the letter and then back at me. ‘New—new—news you’re not expecting,’ he stammered; ‘but not from Thorpe Ambrose!’”
“‘Not from Thorpe Ambrose!’
“‘Not from Thorpe Ambrose!’”
“‘No. From the sea!’
“‘No. From the ocean!’”
“The first dawning of the truth broke on me at those words. I couldn’t speak—I could only hold out my hand to him for the letter.
“The first light of the truth hit me with those words. I couldn’t speak—I could only extend my hand to him for the letter.
“He still shrank from giving it to me. ‘I daren’t! I daren’t!’ he said to himself, vacantly. ‘The shock of it might be the death of her.’
He still hesitated to give it to me. “I can’t! I can’t!” he said to himself blankly. “The shock of it could kill her.”
“I snatched the letter from him. One glance at the writing on the address was enough. My hands fell on my lap, with the letter fast held in them. I sat petrified, without moving, without speaking, without hearing a word of what Bashwood was saying to me, and slowly realized the terrible truth. The man whose widow I had claimed to be was a living man to confront me! In vain I had mixed the drink at Naples—in vain I had betrayed him into Manuel’s hands. Twice I had set the deadly snare for him, and twice Armadale had escaped me! I came to my sense of outward things again, and found Bashwood on his knees at my feet, crying.
“I grabbed the letter from him. Just one look at the writing on the address was enough. My hands dropped onto my lap, still holding the letter tightly. I sat frozen, not moving, not speaking, not hearing a word Bashwood was saying to me, and slowly understood the awful truth. The man whose widow I had claimed to be was actually alive and about to confront me! It was pointless that I had mixed the drink in Naples—it was pointless that I had betrayed him into Manuel’s hands. Twice I had set a deadly trap for him, and twice Armadale had escaped me! I regained my awareness of the world around me and found Bashwood on his knees at my feet, crying.
“‘You look angry,’ he murmured, helplessly. ‘Are you angry with me? Oh, if you only knew what hopes I had when we last saw each other, and how cruelly that letter has dashed them all to the ground!’
“‘You look angry,’ he said softly, feeling powerless. ‘Are you mad at me? Oh, if only you knew what hopes I had when we last met, and how harshly that letter has crushed them all!’”
“I put the miserable old creature back from me, but very gently. ‘Hush!’ I said. ‘Don’t distress me now. I want composure; I want to read the letter.’
“I pushed the sad old thing away from me, but very gently. ‘Hush!’ I said. ‘Don’t upset me right now. I need to be calm; I want to read the letter.’”
“He went away submissively to the other end of the room. As soon as my eye was off him, I heard him say to himself, with impotent malignity, ‘If the sea had been of my mind, the sea would have drowned him!’
“He went away obediently to the other end of the room. As soon as I wasn’t looking at him, I heard him mutter to himself, filled with useless anger, ‘If the sea had been on my side, it would have drowned him!’”
“One by one I slowly opened the folds of the letter; feeling, while I did so, the strangest incapability of fixing my attention on the very lines that I was burning to read. But why dwell any longer on sensations which I can’t describe? It will be more to the purpose if I place the letter itself, for future reference, on this page of my journal.
“One by one, I slowly opened the folds of the letter, feeling the oddest inability to focus on the very lines I was eager to read. But why linger on feelings I can’t explain? It’s better if I put the letter itself here for future reference in my journal.”
“‘Fiume, Illyria, November 21, 1851.
“Fiume, Illyria, November 21, 1851.”
“MR. BASHWOOD—The address I date from will surprise you; and you will be more surprised still when you hear how it is that I come to write to you from a port on the Adriatic Sea.
“MR. BASHWOOD—The location I'm writing from will surprise you; and you'll be even more surprised to learn how it is that I'm sending you this message from a port on the Adriatic Sea.
“I have been the victim of a rascally attempt at robbery and murder. The robbery has succeeded; and it is only through the mercy of God that the murder did not succeed too.
“I have been the victim of a sneaky attempt at robbery and murder. The robbery was successful; and it is only through the mercy of God that the murder didn't succeed as well.”
“I hired a yacht rather more than a month ago at Naples; and sailed (I am glad to think now) without any friend with me, for Messina. From Messina I went for a cruise in the Adriatic. Two days out we were caught in a storm. Storms get up in a hurry, and go down in a hurry, in those parts. The vessel behaved nobly: I declare I feel the tears in my eyes now, when I think of her at the bottom of the sea! Toward sunset it began to moderate; and by midnight, except for a long, smooth swell, the sea was as quiet as need be. I went below, a little tired (having helped in working the yacht while the gale lasted), and fell asleep in five minutes. About two hours after, I was woke by something falling into my cabin through a chink of the ventilator in the upper part of the door. I jumped up, and found a bit of paper with a key wrapped in it, and with writing on the inner side, in a hand which it was not very easy to read.
"I rented a yacht just over a month ago in Naples and sailed (I'm glad to say) solo to Messina. From Messina, I went on a cruise in the Adriatic. Two days in, we got hit by a storm. Storms come up quickly and pass just as fast in those areas. The boat performed beautifully: I can't help but feel tears in my eyes now when I think of her at the bottom of the sea! Toward sunset, the weather started to calm down; and by midnight, aside from a gentle swell, the sea was as peaceful as could be. I went below deck, feeling a bit tired (having helped sail the yacht during the storm), and fell asleep in five minutes. About two hours later, I was stirred awake by something dropping into my cabin through a gap in the ventilator at the top of the door. I jumped up and found a piece of paper with a key wrapped inside it, along with some writing on the inner side, in a handwriting that wasn't very easy to read."
“Up to this time I had not had the ghost of a suspicion that I was alone at sea with a gang of murderous vagabonds (excepting one only) who would stick at nothing. I had got on very well with my sailing-master (the worst scoundrel of the lot), and better still with his English mate. The sailors, being all foreigners, I had very little to say to. They did their work, and no quarrels and nothing unpleasant happened. If anybody had told me, before I went to bed on the night after the storm, that the sailing-master and the crew and the mate (who had been no better than the rest of them at starting) were all in a conspiracy to rob me of the money I had on board, and then to drown me in my own vessel afterward, I should have laughed in his face. Just remember that; and then fancy for yourself (for I’m sure I can’t tell you) what I must have thought when I opened the paper round the key, and read what I now copy (from the mate’s writing), as follows:
“Until this point, I had no idea that I was alone at sea with a group of murderous outcasts (except for one) who would stop at nothing. I had gotten along quite well with my sailing-master (the worst of the bunch) and even better with his English mate. Since the sailors were all foreigners, I didn’t have much interaction with them. They did their jobs, and there were no arguments or unpleasantness. If someone had told me, before I went to bed the night after the storm, that the sailing-master, the crew, and the mate (who had initially been no different from the rest of them) were all in a plot to steal the money I had on board and then drown me in my own ship, I would have laughed in their face. Just keep that in mind, and then imagine for yourself (because I can’t describe what I felt) what it must have been like when I opened the paper around the key and read what I now copy (from the mate’s writing), as follows:
“‘SIR—Stay in your bed till you hear a boat shove off from the starboard side, or you are a dead man. Your money is stolen; and in five minutes’ time the yacht will be scuttled, and the cabin hatch will be nailed down on you. Dead men tell no tales; and the sailing-master’s notion is to leave proofs afloat that the vessel has foundered with all on board. It was his doing, to begin with, and we were all in it. I can’t find it in my heart not to give you a chance for your life. It’s a bad chance, but I can do no more. I should be murdered myself if I didn’t seem to go with the rest. The key of your cabin door is thrown back to you, inside this. Don’t be alarmed when you hear the hammer above. I shall do it, and I shall have short nails in my hand as well as long, and use the short ones only. Wait till you hear the boat with all of us shove off, and then pry up the cabin hatch with your back. The vessel will float a quarter of an hour after the holes are bored in her. Slip into the sea on the port side, and keep the vessel between you and the boat. You will find plenty of loose lumber, wrenched away on purpose, drifting about to hold on by. It’s a fine night and a smooth sea, and there’s a chance that a ship may pick you up while there’s life left in you. I can do no more.—Yours truly, J. M.’
“‘SIR—Stay in your bed until you hear a boat leave from the starboard side, or you’re a dead man. Your money has been stolen, and in five minutes, the yacht will be sunk, and the cabin hatch will be nailed shut on you. Dead men tell no tales; the sailing-master plans to leave evidence that the vessel sank with everyone on board. It was his idea from the start, and we were all involved. I can’t bring myself not to give you a chance to survive. It’s a slim chance, but I can’t do more than that. I’d be killed myself if I didn’t act like I’m on their side. The key to your cabin door is thrown back to you, along with this. Don’t panic when you hear the hammer above. I’ll be the one doing it, and I’ll have short nails in my hand as well as long ones, and I’ll only use the short ones. Wait until you hear the boat with all of us push off, then use your back to pry open the cabin hatch. The vessel will stay afloat for about a quarter of an hour after the holes are made in her. Slip into the sea on the port side, and keep the yacht between you and the boat. You’ll find plenty of loose wood, intentionally torn loose, floating around to grab on to. It’s a clear night and a calm sea, and there’s a chance that a ship might pick you up while you’re still alive. I can’t do more.—Yours truly, J. M.’
“As I came to those last words, I heard the hammering down of the hatch over my head. I don’t suppose I’m more of a coward than most people, but there was a moment when the sweat poured down me like rain. I got to be my own man again before the hammering was done, and found myself thinking of somebody very dear to me in England. I said to myself: ‘I’ll have a try for my life, for her sake, though the chances are dead against me.’
“As I reached those last words, I heard the hatch slam shut above me. I don’t think I’m any more of a coward than most people, but there was a moment when sweat ran down me like rain. I managed to be my own person again before the banging stopped, and I found myself thinking of someone very dear to me in England. I told myself, ‘I’ll fight for my life, for her sake, even though the odds are stacked against me.’”
“I put a letter from that person I have mentioned into one of the stoppered bottles of my dressing-case, along with the mate’s warning, in case I lived to see him again. I hung this, and a flask of whisky, in a sling round my neck; and, after first dressing myself in my confusion, thought better of it, and stripped, again, for swimming, to my shirt and drawers. By the time I had done that the hammering was over and there was such a silence that I could hear the water bubbling into the scuttled vessel amidships. The next noise was the noise of the boat and the villains in her (always excepting my friend, the mate) shoving off from the starboard side. I waited for the splash of the oars in the water, and then got my back under the hatch. The mate had kept his promise. I lifted it easily—crept across the deck, under cover of the bulwarks, on all fours—and slipped into the sea on the port side. Lots of things were floating about. I took the first thing I came to—a hen-coop—and swam away with it about a couple of hundred yards, keeping the yacht between me and the boat. Having got that distance, I was seized with a shivering fit, and I stopped (fearing the cramp next) to take a pull at my flask. When I had closed the flask again, I turned for a moment to look back, and saw the yacht in the act of sinking. In a minute more there was nothing between me and the boat but the pieces of wreck that had been purposely thrown out to float. The moon was shining; and, if they had had a glass in the boat, I believe they might have seen my head, though I carefully kept the hen-coop between me and them.
“I put a letter from that person I mentioned into one of the stoppered bottles in my dressing case, along with the mate’s warning, in case I lived to see him again. I hung this, and a flask of whiskey, in a sling around my neck; and after first dressing myself in my confusion, I thought better of it and stripped down again for swimming, just wearing my shirt and underwear. By the time I did that, the hammering was over and there was such silence that I could hear the water bubbling into the scuttled vessel in the middle. The next noise was from the boat and the villains in it (except for my friend, the mate) pushing off from the starboard side. I waited for the splash of the oars in the water, and then got my back under the hatch. The mate had kept his promise. I lifted it easily—crept across the deck, under the cover of the bulwarks, on all fours—and slipped into the sea on the port side. Lots of things were floating around. I grabbed the first thing I came across—a hen coop—and swam away with it for about a couple of hundred yards, keeping the yacht between me and the boat. After I got that distance, I was hit with a shivering fit, so I stopped (fearing cramps next) to take a swig from my flask. Once I had closed the flask again, I turned for a moment to look back and saw the yacht sinking. In a minute more, there was nothing between me and the boat but the pieces of wreckage that had been purposely thrown out to float. The moon was shining; and if they had had binoculars in the boat, I believe they might have seen my head, though I carefully kept the hen coop between me and them.
“As it was, they laid on their oars; and I heard loud voices among them disputing. After what seemed an age to me, I discovered what the dispute was about. The boat’s head was suddenly turned my way. Some cleverer scoundrel than the rest (the sailing-master, I dare say) had evidently persuaded them to row back over the place where the yacht had gone down, and make quite sure that I had gone down with her.
“As it happened, they paused rowing, and I heard them arguing loudly. After what felt like forever, I figured out what the argument was about. The boat's bow was suddenly pointed in my direction. Some smarter crook among them (probably the sailing master) had clearly convinced them to row back over the spot where the yacht had sunk, to make sure I had gone down with her.”
“They were more than half-way across the distance that separated us, and I had given myself up for lost, when I heard a cry from one of them, and saw the boat’s progress suddenly checked. In a minute or two more the boat’s head was turned again; and they rowed straight away from me like men rowing for their lives.
“They were more than halfway across the distance that separated us, and I had given myself up for lost when I heard one of them cry out and saw the boat suddenly stop. In a minute or two, the boat’s head was turned again, and they rowed straight away from me like they were rowing for their lives.”
“I looked on one side toward the land, and saw nothing. I looked on the other toward the sea, and discovered what the boat’s crew had discovered before me—a sail in the distance, growing steadily brighter and bigger in the moonlight the longer I looked at it. In a quarter of an hour more the vessel was within hail of me, and the crew had got me on board.
“I looked one way toward the land and saw nothing. I looked the other way toward the sea and found what the boat’s crew had found before me—a sail in the distance, getting brighter and bigger in the moonlight the longer I stared at it. In about fifteen minutes, the ship was close enough for me to call out, and the crew got me on board.”
“They were all foreigners, and they quite deafened me by their jabber. I tried signs, but before I could make them understand me I was seized with another shivering fit, and was carried below. The vessel held on her course, I have no doubt, but I was in no condition to know anything about it. Before morning I was in a fever; and from that time I can remember nothing clearly till I came to my senses at this place, and found myself under the care of a Hungarian merchant, the consignee (as they call it) of the coasting vessel that had picked me up. He speaks English as well or better than I do; and he has treated me with a kindness which I can find no words to praise. When he was a young man he was in England himself, learning business, and he says he has remembrances of our country which make his heart warm toward an Englishman. He has fitted me out with clothes, and has lent me the money to travel with, as soon as the doctor allows me to start for home. Supposing I don’t get a relapse, I shall be fit to travel in a week’s time from this. If I can catch the mail at Trieste, and stand the fatigue, I shall be back again at Thorpe Ambrose in a week or ten days at most after you get my letter. You will agree with me that it is a terribly long letter. But I can’t help that. I seem to have lost my old knack at putting things short, and finishing on the first page. However, I am near the end now; for I have nothing left to mention but the reason why I write about what has happened to me, instead of waiting till I get home, and telling it all by word of mouth.
“They were all foreigners, and their chatter was really overwhelming. I tried using gestures, but before I could get my point across, I started to shiver again and was taken below deck. I’m sure the ship continued on its journey, but I wasn’t in any state to notice. By morning, I had a fever, and from that moment, everything is a blur until I regained consciousness here, under the care of a Hungarian merchant, the consignee (as they call it) of the coastal vessel that rescued me. He speaks English just as well, if not better, than I do, and he has shown me an incredible kindness that I can't find the words to express. When he was younger, he lived in England to learn about business, and he says he has fond memories of our country that make him feel warmly toward an Englishman. He has provided me with clothes and has lent me money to travel as soon as the doctor gives me the go-ahead to head home. Assuming I don't have a setback, I should be ready to travel in a week from now. If I can catch the mail in Trieste and handle the journey, I’ll be back at Thorpe Ambrose within a week to ten days at the latest after you receive my letter. You must agree that this is an extraordinarily long letter. But I can’t help it. I seem to have lost my ability to be brief and finish within the first page. However, I’m almost done now; the only thing left to discuss is why I’m writing about what has happened to me instead of waiting to tell it all in person when I get home.”
“I fancy my head is still muddled by my illness. At any rate, it only struck me this morning that there is barely a chance of some vessel having passed the place where the yacht foundered, and having picked up the furniture, and other things wrenched out of her and left to float. Some false report of my being drowned may, in that case, have reached England. If this has happened (which I hope to God may be an unfounded fear on my part), go directly to Major Milroy at the cottage. Show him this letter—I have written it quite as much for his eye as for yours—and then give him the inclosed note, and ask him if he doesn’t think the circumstances justify me in hoping he will send it to Miss Milroy. I can’t explain why I don’t write directly to the major, or to Miss Milroy, instead of to you. I can only say there are considerations I am bound in honor to respect, which oblige me to act in this roundabout way.
“I think my head is still a bit foggy because of my illness. Anyway, it only occurred to me this morning that there’s hardly any chance that a ship passed by the spot where the yacht sank and picked up the furniture and other things that were ripped out and left to float. Some false report of my being drowned may, in that case, have reached England. If that’s true (which I sincerely hope is just my wild imagination), go straight to Major Milroy at the cottage. Show him this letter—I wrote it for both of you—and then give him the enclosed note, and ask him if he thinks the situation justifies me in hoping he will send it to Miss Milroy. I can’t explain why I’m not writing directly to the major or to Miss Milroy instead of to you. All I can say is that there are certain considerations I’m honor-bound to respect, which compel me to take this roundabout approach.”
“I don’t ask you to answer this, for I shall be on my way home, I hope, long before your letter could reach me in this out-of-the-way place. Whatever you do, don’t lose a moment in going to Major Milroy. Go, on second thoughts, whether the loss of the yacht is known in England or not.
“I’m not asking you to reply to this since I’ll hopefully be on my way home long before your letter gets to me in this remote place. Whatever you do, don’t waste any time going to Major Milroy. Go, actually, regardless of whether the news of the yacht’s loss is known in England or not."
“Yours truly, ALLAN ARMADALE.”
“Best regards, ALLAN ARMADALE.”
“I looked up when I had come to the end of the letter, and saw, for the first time, that Bashwood had left his chair and had placed himself opposite to me. He was intently studying my face, with the inquiring expression of a man who was trying to read my thoughts. His eyes fell guiltily when they met mine, and he shrank away to his chair. Believing, as he did, that I was really married to Armadale, was he trying to discover whether the news of Armadale’s rescue from the sea was good news or bad news in my estimation? It was no time then for entering into explanations with him. The first thing to be done was to communicate instantly with the doctor. I called Bashwood back to me and gave him my hand.
“I looked up when I finished the letter and saw, for the first time, that Bashwood had left his chair and positioned himself in front of me. He was intensely studying my face, with the curious expression of someone trying to read my mind. His eyes dropped guiltily when they met mine, and he shrank back to his chair. Believing, as he did, that I was actually married to Armadale, was he trying to figure out whether the news of Armadale’s rescue from the sea was good or bad in my opinion? It wasn’t the right moment to explain anything to him. The first thing I needed to do was get in touch with the doctor immediately. I called Bashwood back to me and extended my hand.
“‘You have done me a service,’ I said, ‘which makes us closer friends than ever. I shall say more about this, and about other matters of some interest to both of us, later in the day. I want you now to lend me Mr. Armadale’s letter (which I promise to bring back) and to wait here till I return. Will you do that for me, Mr. Bashwood?’
“‘You’ve done me a real favor,’ I said, ‘which makes us closer friends than ever. I’ll talk more about this and other things that interest both of us later today. Right now, I’d like you to lend me Mr. Armadale’s letter (which I promise to return) and wait here until I get back. Will you do that for me, Mr. Bashwood?’”
“He would do anything I asked him, he said. I went into the bedroom and put on my bonnet and shawl.
“He said he would do anything I asked him. I went into the bedroom and put on my bonnet and shawl.”
“‘Let me be quite sure of the facts before I leave you,’ I resumed, when I was ready to go out. ‘You have not shown this letter to anybody but me?’
“‘Let me be absolutely clear about the facts before I go,’ I said again, when I was ready to leave. ‘You haven’t shown this letter to anyone else but me?’”
“‘Not a living soul has seen it but our two selves.’
“‘No one has seen it except for the two of us.’”
“‘What have you done with the note inclosed to Miss Milroy?’
“‘What did you do with the note sent to Miss Milroy?’”
“He produced it from his pocket. I ran it over rapidly—saw that there was nothing in it of the slightest importance—and put it in the fire on the spot. That done, I left Bashwood in the sitting-room, and went to the Sanitarium, with Armadale’s letter in my hand.
“He took it out of his pocket. I glanced at it quickly—saw that there was nothing in it of any real importance—and tossed it into the fire right away. After that, I left Bashwood in the sitting room and headed to the Sanitarium, holding Armadale’s letter in my hand.
“The doctor had gone out, and the servant was unable to say positively at what time he would be back. I went into his study, and wrote a line preparing him for the news I had brought with me, which I sealed up, with Armadale’s letter, in an envelope, to await his return. Having told the servant I would call again in an hour, I left the place.
“The doctor had stepped out, and the servant couldn’t say for sure when he would be back. I went into his study and wrote a note to prepare him for the news I had brought, which I sealed up along with Armadale’s letter in an envelope, to wait for his return. After telling the servant I would come back in an hour, I left the place.”
“It was useless to go back to my lodgings and speak to Bashwood, until I knew first what the doctor meant to do. I walked about the neighborhood, up and down new streets and crescents and squares, with a kind of dull, numbed feeling in me, which prevented, not only all voluntary exercise of thought, but all sensation of bodily fatigue. I remembered the same feeling overpowering me, years ago, on the morning when the people of the prison came to take me into court to be tried for my life. All that frightful scene came back again to my mind in the strangest manner, as if it had been a scene in which some other person had figured. Once or twice I wondered, in a heavy, senseless way, why they had not hanged me!
“It was pointless to go back to my place and talk to Bashwood until I knew what the doctor planned to do. I wandered around the area, walking up and down new streets, crescents, and squares, feeling dull and numb inside, which blocked not just any thought but also any sense of physical tiredness. I remembered feeling the same way years ago on the morning when the prison officials came to take me to court to be tried for my life. That terrifying scene replayed in my mind oddly, as if it was happening to someone else. A couple of times, I pondered, in a heavy and thoughtless way, why they hadn't hanged me!
“When I went back to the Sanitarium, I was informed that the doctor had returned half an hour since, and that he was in his own room anxiously waiting to see me.
“When I went back to the Sanitarium, I was told that the doctor had returned half an hour ago and that he was in his own room, anxiously waiting to see me.
“I went into the study, and found him sitting close by the fire with his head down and his hands on his knees. On the table near him, beside Armadale’s letter and my note, I saw, in the little circle of light thrown by the reading-lamp, an open railway guide. Was he meditating flight? It was impossible to tell from his face, when he looked up at me, what he was meditating, or how the shock had struck him when he first discovered that Armadale was a living man.
“I walked into the study and found him sitting by the fire with his head down and his hands on his knees. On the table next to him, along with Armadale’s letter and my note, I saw an open train guide in the small circle of light from the reading lamp. Was he thinking about running away? It was impossible to tell from his expression when he looked up at me what he was thinking, or how he felt when he first realized that Armadale was a living person.”
“‘Take a seat near the fire,’ he said. ‘It’s very raw and cold to-day.’
“‘Have a seat by the fire,’ he said. ‘It’s really chilly and cold today.’”
“I took a chair in silence. In silence, on his side, the doctor sat rubbing his knees before the fire.
“I sat down in silence. The doctor sat quietly next to me, rubbing his knees in front of the fire.”
“‘Have you nothing to say to me?’ I asked.
“‘Do you have nothing to say to me?’ I asked.
“He rose, and suddenly removed the shade from the reading-lamp, so that the light fell on my face.
“He got up and quickly took off the shade from the reading lamp, letting the light shine directly on my face.
“‘You are not looking well,’ he said. ‘What’s the matter?’
“‘You don't look well,’ he said. ‘What’s going on?’”
“‘My head feels dull, and my eyes are heavy and hot,’ I replied. ‘The weather, I suppose.’
“‘My head feels fuzzy, and my eyes are tired and hot,’ I replied. ‘The weather, I guess.’”
“It was strange how we both got further and further from the one vitally important subject which we had both come together to discuss!
“It was weird how we both drifted further and further away from the one crucial topic that had brought us together to talk!”
“‘I think a cup of tea would do you good,’ remarked the doctor.
“I think a cup of tea would really help you,” said the doctor.
“I accepted his suggestion; and he ordered the tea. While it was coming, he walked up and down the room, and I sat by the fire, and not a word passed between us on either side.
“I accepted his suggestion, and he ordered the tea. While it was being prepared, he paced back and forth in the room, and I sat by the fire, and not a word was exchanged between us.”
“The tea revived me; and the doctor noticed a change for the better in my face. He sat down opposite to me at the table, and spoke out at last.
“The tea brought me back to life, and the doctor saw an improvement in my face. He sat down across from me at the table and finally spoke up.
“‘If I had ten thousand pounds at this moment,’ he began, ‘I would give the whole of it never to have compromised myself in your desperate speculation on Mr. Armadale’s death!’
“‘If I had ten thousand pounds right now,’ he started, ‘I would give all of it to never have compromised myself in your reckless scheme regarding Mr. Armadale’s death!’”
“He said those words with an abruptness, almost with a violence, which was strangely uncharacteristic of his ordinary manner. Was he frightened himself, or was he trying to frighten me? I determined to make him explain himself at the outset, so far as I was concerned. ‘Wait a moment, doctor,’ I said. ‘Do you hold me responsible for what has happened?’
“He said those words abruptly, almost violently, which was strangely unlike his usual way. Was he scared himself, or was he trying to scare me? I decided to get him to clarify things right away, at least as far as I was concerned. ‘Hold on a second, doctor,’ I said. ‘Do you think I’m responsible for what happened?’”
“‘Certainly not,’ he replied, stiffly. ‘Neither you nor anybody could have foreseen what has happened. When I say I would give ten thousand pounds to be out of this business, I am blaming nobody but myself. And when I tell you next that I, for one, won’t allow Mr. Armadale’s resurrection from the sea to be the ruin of me without a fight for it, I tell you, my dear madam, one of the plainest truths I ever told to man or woman in the whole course of my life. Don’t suppose I am invidiously separating my interests from yours in the common danger that now threatens us both. I simply indicate the difference in the risk that we have respectively run. You have not sunk the whole of your resources in establishing a Sanitarium; and you have not made a false declaration before a magistrate, which is punishable as perjury by the law.’
“‘Of course not,’ he responded, stiffly. ‘Neither you nor anyone could have predicted what happened. When I say I would give ten thousand pounds to be out of this situation, I’m not blaming anyone but myself. And when I tell you next that I, for one, won’t let Mr. Armadale’s return from the sea ruin me without a fight, I assure you, my dear madam, that’s one of the clearest truths I’ve ever told anyone in my life. Don’t think I’m unfairly separating my interests from yours in the shared danger we now face. I’m just highlighting the difference in the risks we’ve both taken. You haven’t invested all your resources in setting up a Sanitarium; and you haven’t made a false statement before a magistrate, which is punishable by law as perjury.’”
“I interrupted him again. His selfishness did me more good than his tea: it roused my temper effectually. ‘Suppose we let your risk and my risk alone, and come to the point,’ I said. ‘What do you mean by making a fight for it? I see a railway guide on your table. Does making a fight for it mean—running away?’
“I interrupted him again. His selfishness did me more good than his tea: it really fired me up. ‘Let’s set aside your risk and my risk, and get to the point,’ I said. ‘What do you mean by fighting for it? I see a railway guide on your table. Does fighting for it mean—running away?’”
“‘Running away?’ repeated the doctor. ‘You appear to forget that every farthing I have in the world is embarked in this establishment.’
“‘Running away?’ repeated the doctor. ‘You seem to forget that everything I own is invested in this business.’”
“‘You stop here, then?’ I said.
“‘So you’re stopping here, then?’ I said.
“‘Unquestionably!’
"Definitely!"
“‘And what do you mean to do when Mr. Armadale comes to England?’
“‘And what are you planning to do when Mr. Armadale arrives in England?’”
“A solitary fly, the last of his race whom the winter had spared, was buzzing feebly about the doctor’s face. He caught it before he answered me, and held it out across the table in his closed hand.
“A lone fly, the last of its kind that winter had spared, was buzzing weakly around the doctor's face. He caught it before replying to me and held it out across the table in his closed hand.
“‘If this fly’s name was Armadale,’ he said, ‘and if you had got him as I have got him now, what would you do?’
“‘If this fly was named Armadale,’ he said, ‘and if you had caught him like I have now, what would you do?’”
“His eyes, fixed on my face up to this time, turned significantly, as he ended this question, to my widow’s dress. I, too, looked at it when he looked. A thrill of the old deadly hatred and the old deadly determination ran through me again.
“His eyes, which had been locked onto my face until now, shifted meaningfully to my widow’s dress as he finished his question. I looked at it too when he did. A rush of the old, intense hatred and the old, fierce determination coursed through me again."
“‘I should kill him,’ I said.
“I should kill him,” I said.
“The doctor started to his feet (with the fly still in his hand), and looked at me—a little too theatrically—with an expression of the utmost horror.
“The doctor jumped to his feet (with the fly still in his hand) and looked at me—a bit too dramatically—with an expression of absolute horror.
“‘Kill him!’ repeated the doctor, in a paroxysm of virtuous alarm. ‘Violence—murderous violence—in My Sanitarium! You take my breath away!’
“‘Kill him!’ shouted the doctor, in a fit of righteous panic. ‘Violence—murderous violence—in My Sanitarium! You’re stunning me!’”
“I caught his eye while he was expressing himself in this elaborately indignant manner, scrutinizing me with a searching curiosity which was, to say the least of it, a little at variance with the vehemence of his language and the warmth of his tone. He laughed uneasily when our eyes met, and recovered his smoothly confidential manner in the instant that elapsed before he spoke again.
“I caught his eye while he was speaking in this very worked-up way, studying me with a probing curiosity that, to put it mildly, didn’t quite match the intensity of his words and the warmth of his tone. He laughed awkwardly when we made eye contact and slipped back into his smooth, familiar style in the brief moment before he spoke again.”
“‘I beg a thousand pardons,’ he said. ‘I ought to have known better than to take a lady too literally at her word. Permit me to remind you, however, that the circumstances are too serious for anything in the nature of—let us say, an exaggeration or a joke. You shall hear what I propose, without further preface.’ He paused, and resumed his figurative use of the fly imprisoned in his hand. ‘Here is Mr. Armadale. I can let him out, or keep him in, just as I please—and he knows it. I say to him,’ continued the doctor, facetiously addressing the fly, ‘Give me proper security, Mr. Armadale, that no proceedings of any sort shall be taken against either this lady or myself, and I will let you out of the hollow of my hand. Refuse—and, be the risk what it may, I will keep you in.” Can you doubt, my dear madam, what Mr. Armadale’s answer is, sooner or later, certain to be? Can you doubt,’ said the doctor, suiting the action to the word, and letting the fly go, ‘that it will end to the entire satisfaction of all parties, in this way?’
“‘I’m really sorry,’ he said. ‘I should have known better than to take a lady too literally at her word. But let me remind you that the situation is too serious for anything like—let’s say, exaggeration or a joke. You’ll hear what I propose, without any more preamble.’ He paused and continued his figurative reference to the fly trapped in his hand. ‘Here is Mr. Armadale. I can let him go or keep him here, whichever I choose—and he knows it. I say to him,’ the doctor continued, jokingly addressing the fly, ‘Give me some proper assurance, Mr. Armadale, that no actions will be taken against either this lady or me, and I’ll let you out of my hand. Refuse—and no matter the risk, I’ll keep you in.’ Can you doubt, my dear madam, what Mr. Armadale’s response is going to be, sooner or later? Can you doubt,’ the doctor said, matching his words with action as he released the fly, ‘that it will end to the complete satisfaction of everyone, like this?’”
“‘I won’t say at present,’ I answered, ‘whether I doubt or not. Let me make sure that I understand you first. You propose, if I am not mistaken, to shut the doors of this place on Mr. Armadale, and not to let him out again until he has agreed to the terms which it is our interest to impose on him? May I ask, in that case, how you mean to make him walk into the trap that you have set for him here?’
“‘I won’t say right now,’ I replied, ‘whether I have my doubts or not. Let me make sure I understand you first. You’re suggesting, if I’m correct, to close the doors of this place on Mr. Armadale and not let him leave until he agrees to the terms that we want to impose on him? Can I ask, in that case, how you plan to make him walk into the trap you’ve set for him here?’”
“‘I propose,’ said the doctor, with his hand on the railway guide, ‘ascertaining first at what time during every evening of this month the tidal trains from Dover and Folkestone reach the London Bridge terminus. And I propose, next, posting a person whom Mr. Armadale knows, and whom you and I can trust, to wait the arrival of the trains, and to meet our man at the moment when he steps out of the railway carriage.’
“‘I suggest,’ said the doctor, with his hand on the train schedule, ‘that we first find out what time the tidal trains from Dover and Folkestone arrive at the London Bridge station each evening this month. And next, I propose that we have someone Mr. Armadale knows, and whom we can trust, wait for the trains and meet our man the moment he steps out of the train.’”
“‘Have you thought,’ I inquired, ‘of who the person is to be?’
“Have you thought,” I asked, “about who the person is going to be?”
“‘I have thought,’ said the doctor, taking up Armadale’s letter ‘of the person to whom this letter is addressed.’
“‘I was thinking,’ said the doctor, picking up Armadale’s letter, ‘about the person this letter is meant for.’”
“The answer startled me. Was it possible that he and Bashwood knew one another? I put the question immediately.
“The answer surprised me. Could it be that he and Bashwood knew each other? I asked the question right away.
“‘Until to-day I never so much as heard of the gentleman’s name,’ said the doctor. ‘I have simply pursued the inductive process of reasoning, for which we are indebted to the immortal Bacon. How does this very important letter come into your possession? I can’t insult you by supposing it to have been stolen. Consequently, it has come to you with the leave and license of the person to whom it is addressed. Consequently, that person is in your confidence. Consequently, he is the first person I think of. You see the process? Very good. Permit me a question or two, on the subject of Mr. Bashwood, before we go on any further.’
“‘Until today, I had never even heard of the gentleman’s name,’ said the doctor. ‘I have simply followed the inductive reasoning process, thanks to the great Bacon. How did you come to have this very important letter? I wouldn't insult you by thinking it was stolen. So, it must have come to you with the permission of the person it’s addressed to. That means this person trusts you. So, he is the first person I think of. Do you see the process? Very good. Let me ask you a question or two about Mr. Bashwood before we continue.’”
“The doctor’s questions went as straight to the point as usual. My answers informed him that Mr. Bashwood stood toward Armadale in the relation of steward; that he had received the letter at Thorpe Ambrose that morning, and had brought it straight to me by the first train; that he had not shown it, or spoken of it before leaving, to Major Milroy or to any one else; that I had not obtained this service at his hands by trusting him with my secret; that I had communicated with him in the character of Armadale’s widow; that he had suppressed the letter, under those circumstances, solely in obedience to a general caution I had given him to keep his own counsel, if anything strange happened at Thorpe Ambrose, until he had first consulted me; and, lastly, that the reason why he had done as I told him in this matter, was that in this matter, and in all others, Mr. Bashwood was blindly devoted to my interests.
The doctor's questions were as straightforward as always. My answers told him that Mr. Bashwood was acting as a steward for Armadale; he had received the letter at Thorpe Ambrose that morning and brought it directly to me on the first train. He hadn’t shown or mentioned it to Major Milroy or anyone else before leaving. I hadn’t gotten him to help me by sharing my secret; I had reached out to him as Armadale's widow. He kept the letter under those circumstances purely because I had advised him to keep quiet if anything unusual happened at Thorpe Ambrose until he consulted me first. Lastly, the reason he followed my instructions in this case was that, in this matter and all others, Mr. Bashwood was completely devoted to my interests.
“At that point in the interrogatory, the doctor’s eyes began to look at me distrustfully behind the doctor’s spectacles.
“At that point in the questioning, the doctor’s eyes started to look at me distrustfully behind the doctor’s glasses.
“‘What is the secret of this blind devotion of Mr. Bashwood’s to your interests?’ he asked.
“‘What is the reason for Mr. Bashwood’s unwavering loyalty to your interests?’ he asked.
“I hesitated for a moment—in pity to Bashwood, not in pity to myself. ‘If you must know,’ I answered, ‘Mr. Bashwood is in love with me.’
"I paused for a moment—out of sympathy for Bashwood, not for myself. ‘If you need to know,’ I replied, ‘Mr. Bashwood is in love with me.’"
“‘Ay! ay!’ exclaimed the doctor, with an air of relief. ‘I begin to understand now. Is he a young man?’
“‘Oh! yes!’ exclaimed the doctor, feeling relieved. ‘I’m starting to understand now. Is he a young man?’”
“‘He is an old man.’
"He's an old man."
“The doctor laid himself back in his chair, and chuckled softly. ‘Better and better!’ he said. ‘Here is the very man we want. Who so fit as Mr. Armadale’s steward to meet Mr. Armadale on his return to London? And who so capable of influencing Mr. Bashwood in the proper way as the charming object of Mr. Bashwood’s admiration?’
“The doctor leaned back in his chair and chuckled softly. ‘Better and better!’ he said. ‘Here’s the exact person we need. Who better than Mr. Armadale’s steward to meet Mr. Armadale when he gets back to London? And who’s more capable of influencing Mr. Bashwood the right way than the lovely object of Mr. Bashwood’s admiration?’”
“There could be no doubt that Bashwood was the man to serve the doctor’s purpose, and that my influence was to be trusted to make him serve it. The difficulty was not here: the difficulty was in the unanswered question that I had put to the doctor a minute since. I put it to him again.
“There was no doubt that Bashwood was the right person to help the doctor, and that my influence could be relied on to make him do so. The challenge wasn’t that; the challenge was in the unanswered question I had just asked the doctor. I asked him again.”
“‘Suppose Mr. Armadale’s steward meets his employer at the terminus,’ I said. ‘May I ask once more how Mr. Armadale is to be persuaded to come here?’
“‘Let’s say Mr. Armadale’s steward runs into him at the station,’ I said. ‘Can I ask again how we’re supposed to convince Mr. Armadale to come here?’”
“‘Don’t think me ungallant,’ rejoined the doctor in his gentlest manner, ‘if I ask, on my side, how are men persuaded to do nine-tenths of the foolish acts of their lives? They are persuaded by your charming sex. The weak side of every man is the woman’s side of him. We have only to discover the woman’s side of Mr. Armadale—to tickle him on it gently—and to lead him our way with a silken string. I observe here,’ pursued the doctor, opening Armadale’s letter, ‘a reference to a certain young lady, which looks promising. Where is the note that Mr. Armadale speaks of as addressed to Miss Milroy?’
“‘Don’t think I’m being rude,’ the doctor replied softly, ‘if I ask how men are convinced to do most of the silly things in their lives. They’re convinced by your charming gender. Every man has a vulnerable side that belongs to women. We just need to find Mr. Armadale’s soft spot—gently nudge it—and lead him our way with an easy touch. I see here,’ the doctor continued, opening Armadale’s letter, ‘a mention of a certain young lady, which seems promising. Where is the note that Mr. Armadale refers to as being addressed to Miss Milroy?’”
“Instead of answering him, I started, in a sudden burst of excitement, to my feet. The instant he mentioned Miss Milroy’s name all that I had heard from Bashwood of her illness, and of the cause of it, rushed back into my memory. I saw the means of decoying Armadale into the Sanitarium as plainly as I saw the doctor on the other side of the table, wondering at the extraordinary change in me. What a luxury it was to make Miss Milroy serve my interests at last!
“Instead of answering him, I suddenly jumped to my feet in excitement. The moment he mentioned Miss Milroy’s name, everything I had heard from Bashwood about her illness and its cause flooded back into my mind. I could see exactly how to lure Armadale into the Sanitarium, just as clearly as I saw the doctor across the table, surprised by the dramatic change in me. What a thrill it was to finally make Miss Milroy work in my favor!
“‘Never mind the note,’ I said. ‘It’s burned, for fear of accidents. I can tell you all (and more) than the note could have told you. Miss Milroy cuts the knot! Miss Milroy ends the difficulty! She is privately engaged to him. She has heard the false report of his death; and she has been seriously ill at Thorpe Ambrose ever since. When Bashwood meets him at the station, the very first question he is certain to ask—’
“‘Forget about the note,’ I said. ‘It’s burned to avoid any accidents. I can tell you everything (and more) that the note would have told you. Miss Milroy is the one who solves the problem! Miss Milroy is the one who resolves the issue! She is secretly engaged to him. She heard the wrong report about his death; and she has been seriously ill at Thorpe Ambrose ever since. When Bashwood sees him at the station, the first question he’s definitely going to ask—’”
“‘I see!’ exclaimed the doctor, anticipating me. ‘Mr. Bashwood has nothing to do but to help the truth with a touch of fiction. When he tells his master that the false report has reached Miss Milroy, he has only to add that the shock has affected her head, and that she is here under medical care. Perfect! perfect! We shall have him at the Sanitarium as fast as the fastest cab-horse in London can bring him to us. And mind! no risk—no necessity for trusting other people. This is not a mad-house; this is not a licensed establishment; no doctors’ certificates are necessary here! My dear lady, I congratulate you; I congratulate myself. Permit me to hand you the railway guide, with my best compliments to Mr. Bashwood, and with the page turned down for him, as an additional attention, at the right place.’
“‘I get it!’ the doctor said, cutting me off. ‘Mr. Bashwood really just needs to spice up the truth with a bit of fiction. When he informs his boss that the false report has reached Miss Milroy, he just needs to add that the shock has affected her mind, and that she’s here under medical care. Perfect! Perfect! We’ll have him at the Sanitarium as quickly as the fastest cab in London can bring him to us. And remember! No risks—there’s no need to rely on other people. This isn’t a mad-house; this isn’t a licensed facility; no doctors’ certificates are required here! My dear lady, I commend you; I commend myself. Allow me to give you the railway guide, with my best regards to Mr. Bashwood, and with the page marked for him, as a little extra touch, at the right spot.’”
“Remembering how long I had kept Bashwood waiting for me, I took the book at once, and wished the doctor good-evening without further ceremony. As he politely opened the door for me, he reverted, without the slightest necessity for doing so, and without a word from me to lead to it, to the outburst of virtuous alarm which had escaped him at the earlier part of our interview.
“Remembering how long I had kept Bashwood waiting for me, I took the book right away and wished the doctor good evening without any more formalities. As he politely opened the door for me, he unexpectedly went back, without any reason to do so and without me saying anything to prompt it, to the earlier moment of his passionate concern during our conversation.
“‘I do hope,’ he said, ‘that you will kindly forget and forgive my extraordinary want of tact and perception when—in short, when I caught the fly. I positively blush at my own stupidity in putting a literal interpretation on a lady’s little joke! Violence in My Sanitarium!’ exclaimed the doctor, with his eyes once more fixed attentively on my face—‘violence in this enlightened nineteenth century! Was there ever anything so ridiculous? Do fasten your cloak before you go out, it is so cold and raw! Shall I escort you? Shall I send my servant? Ah, you were always independent! always, if I may say so, a host in yourself! May I call to-morrow morning, and hear what you have settled with Mr. Bashwood?’
“‘I really hope,’ he said, ‘that you can forget and forgive my complete lack of tact and perception when—in short, when I caught the fly. I actually blush at my own foolishness for taking a lady’s little joke literally! Violence in My Sanitarium!’ the doctor exclaimed, his eyes once again focused intently on my face—‘violence in this enlightened nineteenth century! Is there anything so ridiculous? Please fasten your cloak before you go out; it’s so cold and damp! Should I walk with you? Should I send my servant? Ah, you’ve always been independent! Always, if I may say so, you were a host in yourself! Can I come by tomorrow morning to hear what you’ve arranged with Mr. Bashwood?’”
“I said yes, and got away from him at last. In a quarter of an hour more I was back at my lodgings, and was informed by the servant that ‘the elderly gentleman’ was still waiting for me.
“I said yes and finally got away from him. A little over fifteen minutes later, I was back at my place, and the servant informed me that ‘the older gentleman’ was still waiting for me.”
“I have not got the heart or the patience—I hardly know which—to waste many words on what passed between me and Bashwood. It was so easy, so degradingly easy, to pull the strings of the poor old puppet in any way I pleased! I met none of the difficulties which I should have been obliged to meet in the case of a younger man, or of a man less infatuated with admiration for me. I left the allusions to Miss Milroy in Armadale’s letter, which had naturally puzzled him, to be explained at a future time. I never even troubled myself to invent a plausible reason for wishing him to meet Armadale at the terminus, and to entrap him by a stratagem into the doctor’s Sanitarium. All that I found it necessary to do was to refer to what I had written to Mr. Bashwood, on my arrival in London, and to what I had afterward said to him, when he came to answer my letter personally at the hotel.
“I don’t have the heart or the patience—I can’t even tell which—to waste many words on what happened between me and Bashwood. It was so easy, embarrassingly easy, to manipulate the poor old puppet however I wanted! I didn’t face any of the challenges I would have had to with a younger man or someone less infatuated with me. I left the references to Miss Milroy in Armadale’s letter, which had naturally confused him, to be explained later on. I never even bothered to come up with a convincing reason for wanting him to meet Armadale at the train station and to trick him into going to the doctor’s Sanitarium. All I needed to do was refer to what I had written to Mr. Bashwood when I got to London, and what I had later said to him when he came to answer my letter in person at the hotel.”
“‘You know already,’ I said, ‘that my marriage has not been a happy one. Draw your own conclusions from that; and don’t press me to tell you whether the news of Mr. Armadale’s rescue from the sea is, or is not, the welcome news that it ought to be to his wife!’ That was enough to put his withered old face in a glow, and to set his withered old hopes growing again. I had only to add, ‘If you will do what I ask you to do, no matter how incomprehensible and how mysterious my request may seem to be; and if you will accept my assurances that you shall run no risk yourself, and that you shall receive the proper explanations at the proper time, you will have such a claim on my gratitude and my regard as no man living has ever had yet!’ I had only to say those words, and to point them by a look and a stolen pressure of his hand, and I had him at my feet, blindly eager to obey me. If he could have seen what I thought of myself; but that doesn’t matter: he saw nothing.
“You already know,” I said, “that my marriage hasn’t been a happy one. Take from that what you will, and don’t push me to tell you whether the news of Mr. Armadale’s rescue from the sea is, or isn’t, the good news it should be for his wife!” That was enough to light up his wrinkled old face and rekindle his faded hopes. I just needed to add, “If you’ll do what I ask, no matter how confusing or mysterious my request may seem, and if you’ll trust that you won’t be in any danger and will get the right explanations when it’s time, you will earn a level of gratitude and respect from me that no one else has ever received!” I just had to say those words, back them up with a look and a gentle squeeze of his hand, and he was at my feet, desperately eager to comply. If only he could see what I thought of myself; but that doesn’t matter: he saw nothing.
“Hours have passed since I sent him away (pledged to secrecy, possessed of his instructions, and provided with his time-table) to the hotel near the terminus, at which he is to stay till Armadale appears on the railway platform. The excitement of the earlier part of the evening has all worn off; and the dull, numbed sensation has got me again. Are my energies wearing out, I wonder, just at the time when I most want them? Or is some foreshadowing of disaster creeping over me which I don’t yet understand?
“Hours have passed since I sent him away (promised to keep quiet, having his instructions, and given his schedule) to the hotel near the train station, where he’s supposed to stay until Armadale shows up on the platform. The excitement from earlier this evening has faded; now I’m feeling dull and numb again. I wonder if my energy is fading just when I need it the most? Or is some sense of impending disaster creeping over me that I don’t yet understand?”
“I might be in a humor to sit here for some time longer, thinking thoughts like these, and letting them find their way into words at their own will and pleasure, if my Diary would only let me. But my idle pen has been busy enough to make its way to the end of the volume. I have reached the last morsel of space left on the last page; and whether I like it or not, I must close the book this time for good and all, when I close it to-night.
“I might be in the mood to sit here a while longer, thinking thoughts like these and letting them turn into words when they want to, if my Diary would just allow me. But my idle pen has been active enough that I've reached the end of the book. I’ve hit the last bit of space on the last page; and whether I want to or not, I have to close the book for good when I close it tonight.”
“Good-by, my old friend and companion of many a miserable day! Having nothing else to be fond of, I half suspect myself of having been unreasonably fond of you.
"Goodbye, my old friend and companion of many tough days! With nothing else to care about, I half wonder if I've been unreasonably attached to you.
“What a fool I am!”
“What a fool I am!”
THE END OF THE FOURTH BOOK.
THE END OF THE FOURTH BOOK.
BOOK THE LAST.
I. AT THE TERMINUS.
On the night of the 2d of December, Mr. Bashwood took up his post of observation at the terminus of the South-eastern Railway for the first time. It was an earlier date, by six days, than the date which Allan had himself fixed for his return. But the doctor, taking counsel of his medical experience, had considered it just probable that “Mr. Armadale might be perverse enough, at his enviable age, to recover sooner than his medical advisers might have anticipated.” For caution’s sake, therefore, Mr. Bashwood was instructed to begin watching the arrival of the tidal trains on the day after he had received his employer’s letter.
On the night of December 2nd, Mr. Bashwood took his position at the South-eastern Railway terminus for the first time. This was six days earlier than the date Allan had set for his return. However, the doctor, relying on his medical experience, thought it was quite possible that “Mr. Armadale might be stubborn enough, at his fortunate age, to recover faster than his doctors had expected.” So, just to be cautious, Mr. Bashwood was told to start monitoring the arrival of the tidal trains the day after he got his employer’s letter.
From the 2d to the 7th of December, the steward waited punctually on the platform, saw the trains come in, and satisfied himself, evening after evening, that the travelers were all strangers to him. From the 2d to the 7th of December, Miss Gwilt (to return to the name under which she is best known in these pages) received his daily report, sometimes delivered personally, sometimes sent by letter. The doctor, to whom the reports were communicated, received them in his turn with unabated confidence in the precautions that had been adopted up to the morning of the 8th. On that date the irritation of continued suspense had produced a change for the worse in Miss Gwilt’s variable temper, which was perceptible to every one about her, and which, strangely enough, was reflected by an equally marked change in the doctor’s manner when he came to pay his usual visit. By a coincidence so extraordinary that his enemies might have suspected it of not being a coincidence at all, the morning on which Miss Gwilt lost her patience proved to be also the morning on which the doctor lost his confidence for the first time.
From December 2nd to 7th, the steward waited regularly on the platform, watched the trains arrive, and confirmed each evening that all the passengers were strangers to him. During that same period, Miss Gwilt (the name she is best known by in these pages) received his daily report, sometimes given in person, sometimes sent by mail. The doctor, who received these reports, continued to have complete confidence in the precautions that had been taken up to the morning of the 8th. On that date, the ongoing suspense had caused a noticeable shift for the worse in Miss Gwilt's unpredictable temper, which everyone around her could sense. Interestingly, this was mirrored by an equally significant change in the doctor's demeanor during his usual visit. In an extraordinary coincidence that might lead his enemies to think it was anything but a coincidence, the morning Miss Gwilt lost her patience was also the morning the doctor lost his confidence for the first time.
“No news, of course,” he said, sitting down with a heavy sigh. “Well! well!”
“No news, of course,” he said, sitting down with a big sigh. “Well! Well!”
Miss Gwilt looked up at him irritably from her work.
Miss Gwilt looked up at him annoyed from her work.
“You seem strangely depressed this morning,” she said. “What are you afraid of now?”
“You look unusually down this morning,” she said. “What are you scared of now?”
“The imputation of being afraid, madam,” answered the doctor, solemnly, “is not an imputation to cast rashly on any man—even when he belongs to such an essentially peaceful profession as mine. I am not afraid. I am (as you more correctly put it in the first instance) strangely depressed. My nature is, as you know, naturally sanguine, and I only see to-day what but for my habitual hopefulness I might have seen, and ought to have seen, a week since.”
“The accusation of being afraid, ma’am,” the doctor replied seriously, “is not something to throw around lightly, even when it concerns a profession as inherently peaceful as mine. I’m not afraid. I am (as you more accurately described it earlier) oddly downcast. My nature is, as you know, generally optimistic, and I only see today what I could have noticed, and should have noticed, a week ago.”
Miss Gwilt impatiently threw down her work. “If words cost money,” she said, “the luxury of talking would be rather an expensive luxury in your case!”
Miss Gwilt impatiently tossed her work aside. “If words were expensive,” she said, “talking would be quite the costly luxury for you!”
“Which I might have seen, and ought to have seen,” reiterated the doctor, without taking the slightest notice of the interruption, “a week since. To put it plainly, I feel by no means so certain as I did that Mr. Armadale will consent, without a struggle, to the terms which it is my interest (and in a minor degree yours) to impose on him. Observe! I don’t question our entrapping him successfully into the Sanitarium: I only doubt whether he will prove quite as manageable as I originally anticipated when we have got him there. Say,” remarked the doctor, raising his eyes for the first time, and fixing them in steady inquiry on Miss Gwilt—“say that he is bold, obstinate, what you please; and that he holds out—holds out for weeks together, for months together, as men in similar situations to his have held out before him. What follows? The risk of keeping him forcibly in concealment—of suppressing him, if I may so express myself—increases at compound interest, and becomes Enormous! My house is at this moment virtually ready for patients. Patients may present themselves in a week’s time. Patients may communicate with Mr. Armadale, or Mr. Armadale may communicate with patients. A note may be smuggled out of the house, and may reach the Commissioners in Lunacy. Even in the case of an unlicensed establishment like mine, those gentlemen—no! those chartered despots in a land of liberty—have only to apply to the Lord Chancellor for an order, and to enter (by heavens, to enter My Sanitarium!) and search the house from top to bottom at a moment’s notice! I don’t wish to despond; I don’t wish to alarm you; I don’t pretend to say that the means we are taking to secure your own safety are any other than the best means at our disposal. All I ask you to do is to imagine the Commissioners in the house—and then to conceive the consequences. The consequences!” repeated the doctor, getting sternly on his feet, and taking up his hat as if he meant to leave the room.
“Which I might have seen, and should have seen,” the doctor insisted, ignoring the interruption, “a week ago. To put it simply, I’m not as sure as I was that Mr. Armadale will agree, without a fight, to the conditions that it benefits me (and somewhat you) to impose on him. Just so you know! I’m not doubting that we’ll be able to successfully trap him into the Sanitarium; I’m only unsure whether he will be as easy to manage as I initially thought once we get him there. Let’s say,” the doctor said, looking up for the first time and locking eyes with Miss Gwilt, “let’s say he’s bold, stubborn, whatever you want to call it; and that he resists—resists for weeks, even months, like others in his situation have before him. What happens then? The risk of keeping him forcibly hidden—in other words, suppressing him—increases exponentially, and it becomes enormous! My house is, at this moment, practically ready for patients. Patients could arrive in a week. Patients might contact Mr. Armadale, or Mr. Armadale might reach out to patients. A note could be sneaked out of the house and could end up with the Commissioners in Lunacy. Even for an unlicensed establishment like mine, those officials—no! those chartered tyrants in a land of freedom—only need to ask the Lord Chancellor for an order and walk in (heavens, walk into My Sanitarium!) and search the place from top to bottom at a moment's notice! I don’t want to despair; I don’t want to scare you; I don’t claim that the steps we’re taking to ensure your safety are anything less than the best options we have. All I’m asking is for you to picture the Commissioners in the house—and then think about what would happen next. The consequences!” the doctor repeated, sternly standing up and grabbing his hat as if he intended to leave the room.
“Have you anything more to say?” asked Miss Gwilt.
“Do you have anything else to say?” asked Miss Gwilt.
“Have you any remarks,” rejoined the doctor, “to offer on your side?”
“Do you have any comments,” the doctor replied, “to share from your side?”
He stood, hat in hand, waiting. For a full minute the two looked at each other in silence.
He stood there, holding his hat, waiting. For a full minute, the two stared at each other in silence.
Miss Gwilt spoke first.
Miss Gwilt was the first to speak.
“I think I understand you,” she said, suddenly recovering her composure.
“I think I get you,” she said, suddenly getting her composure back.
“I beg your pardon,” returned the doctor, with his hand to his ear. “What did you say?”
“I’m sorry,” replied the doctor, putting his hand to his ear. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
"Nothing?"
“If you happened to catch another fly this morning,” said Miss Gwilt, with a bitterly sarcastic emphasis on the words, “I might be capable of shocking you by another ‘little joke.’”
“If you caught another fly this morning,” said Miss Gwilt, with a bitterly sarcastic emphasis on the words, “I might be able to shock you with another ‘little joke.’”
The doctor held up both hands, in polite deprecation, and looked as if he was beginning to recover his good humor again.
The doctor raised both hands in a gesture of polite refusal and seemed to be starting to regain his good mood.
“Hard,” he murmured, gently, “not to have forgiven me that unlucky blunder of mine, even yet!”
“Hard,” he said softly, “not to have forgiven me for that unfortunate mistake of mine, even now!”
“What else have you to say? I am waiting for you,” said Miss Gwilt. She turned her chair to the window scornfully, and took up her work again, as she spoke.
“What else do you have to say? I’m waiting for you,” said Miss Gwilt. She turned her chair to the window with disdain and picked up her work again as she spoke.
The doctor came behind her, and put his hand on the back of her chair.
The doctor came up behind her and placed his hand on the back of her chair.
“I have a question to ask, in the first place,” he said; “and a measure of necessary precaution to suggest, in the second. If you will honor me with your attention, I will put the question first.”
“I have a question to ask, first of all,” he said; “and I also have a necessary precaution to suggest, second. If you’ll give me your attention, I’ll start with the question.”
“I am listening.”
"I'm all ears."
“You know that Mr. Armadale is alive,” pursued the doctor, “and you know that he is coming back to England. Why do you continue to wear your widow’s dress?”
“You know that Mr. Armadale is alive,” the doctor continued, “and you know that he’s coming back to England. Why do you still wear your widow’s dress?”
She answered him without an instant’s hesitation, steadily going on with her work.
She replied without any hesitation, focusing on her work.
“Because I am of a sanguine disposition, like you. I mean to trust to the chapter of accidents to the very last. Mr. Armadale may die yet, on his way home.”
“Because I'm an optimistic person, like you. I plan to rely on happenstance until the very end. Mr. Armadale might still die on his way home.”
“And suppose he gets home alive—what then?”
“And suppose he makes it home alive—then what?”
“Then there is another chance still left.”
“Then there is one more opportunity remaining.”
“What is it, pray?”
"What is it, please?"
“He may die in your Sanitarium.”
“He might die in your sanitarium.”
“Madam!” remonstrated the doctor, in the deep bass which he reserved for his outbursts of virtuous indignation. “Wait! you spoke of the chapter of accidents,” he resumed, gliding back into his softer conversational tones. “Yes! yes! of course. I understand you this time. Even the healing art is at the mercy of accidents; even such a Sanitarium as mine is liable to be surprised by Death. Just so! just so!” said the doctor, conceding the question with the utmost impartiality. “There is the chapter of accidents, I admit—if you choose to trust to it. Mind! I say emphatically, if you choose to trust to it.”
“Madam!” the doctor said, using the deep voice he reserved for moments of righteous anger. “Wait! You mentioned the chapter of accidents,” he continued, shifting back to his calmer conversational tone. “Yes! Yes! Of course. I get you this time. Even the healing profession is vulnerable to accidents; even a Sanitarium like mine can be caught off guard by Death. Exactly! Exactly!” the doctor said, acknowledging the point with complete fairness. “There is the chapter of accidents, I agree—if you decide to believe in it. Just to be clear, I say emphatically, if you decide to believe in it.”
There was another moment of silence—silence so profound that nothing was audible in the room but the rapid click of Miss Gwilt’s needle through her work.
There was another moment of silence—silence so deep that the only sound in the room was the quick click of Miss Gwilt’s needle as she worked.
“Go on,” she said; “you haven’t done yet.”
“Go on,” she said, “you’re not done yet.”
“True!” said the doctor. “Having put my question, I have my measure of precaution to impress on you next. You will see, my dear madam, that I am not disposed to trust to the chapter of accidents on my side. Reflection has convinced me that you and I are not (logically speaking) so conveniently situated as we might be in case of emergency. Cabs are, as yet, rare in this rapidly improving neighborhood. I am twenty minutes’ walk from you; you are twenty minutes’ walk from me. I know nothing of Mr. Armadale’s character; you know it well. It might be necessary—vitally necessary—to appeal to your superior knowledge of him at a moment’s notice. And how am I to do that unless we are within easy reach of each other, under the same roof? In both our interests, I beg to invite you, my dear madam, to become for a limited period an inmate of My Sanitarium.”
“True!” said the doctor. “Now that I've asked my question, I need to share my next precaution with you. You'll see, my dear madam, that I’m not willing to rely on chance in this situation. After thinking it over, I realize that you and I aren’t really in the best position in case of an emergency. Cabs are still pretty rare in this quickly improving area. I’m a twenty-minute walk from you, and you’re a twenty-minute walk from me. I know nothing about Mr. Armadale’s character; you know it well. It might be necessary—absolutely necessary—to rely on your deeper understanding of him at a moment’s notice. And how can I do that unless we’re close by each other, under the same roof? In both our best interests, I kindly invite you, my dear madam, to stay at My Sanitarium for a limited time.”
Miss Gwilt’s rapid needle suddenly stopped. “I understand you,” she said again, as quietly as before.
Miss Gwilt’s needlework came to an abrupt halt. “I get you,” she said again, just as softly as before.
“I beg your pardon,” said the doctor, with another attack of deafness, and with his hand once more at his ear.
“I’m sorry,” said the doctor, experiencing another bout of deafness, and with his hand at his ear again.
She laughed to herself—a low, terrible laugh, which startled even the doctor into taking his hand off the back of her chair.
She laughed to herself—a low, chilling laugh that even made the doctor pull his hand away from the back of her chair.
“An inmate of your Sanitarium?” she repeated. “You consult appearances in everything else; do you propose to consult appearances in receiving me into your house?”
“An inmate of your Sanitarium?” she repeated. “You care about appearances in everything else; do you plan to worry about appearances when it comes to letting me into your home?”
“Most assuredly!” replied the doctor, with enthusiasm. “I am surprised at your asking me the question! Did you ever know a man of any eminence in my profession who set appearances at defiance? If you honor me by accepting my invitation, you enter My Sanitarium in the most unimpeachable of all possible characters—in the character of a Patient.”
“Absolutely!” the doctor replied enthusiastically. “I'm surprised you even asked me that! Have you ever known a respected person in my field who ignored appearances? If you do me the honor of accepting my invitation, you'll enter My Sanitarium with the most impeccable reputation—as a Patient.”
“When do you want my answer?”
“When do you want my answer?”
“Can you decide to-day?”
“Can you decide today?”
“To-morrow?”
"Tomorrow?"
“Yes. Have you anything more to say?”
“Yes. Do you have anything else to add?”
“Nothing more.”
"That's all."
“Leave me, then. I don’t keep up appearances. I wish to be alone, and I say so. Good-morning.”
“Leave me alone, then. I don’t put on a show. I want to be by myself, and I’m saying that. Good morning.”
“Oh, the sex! the sex!” said the doctor, with his excellent temper in perfect working order again. “So delightfully impulsive! so charmingly reckless of what they say or how they say it! ‘Oh, woman, in our hours of ease, uncertain, coy, and hard to please!’ There! there! there! Good-morning!”
“Oh, the sex! The sex!” said the doctor, with his excellent mood totally back to normal. “So delightfully spontaneous! So charmingly carefree about what they say or how they say it! ‘Oh, woman, in our moments of comfort, uncertain, shy, and hard to satisfy!’ There! There! There! Good morning!”
Miss Gwilt rose and looked after him contemptuously from the window, when the street door had closed, and he had left the house.
Miss Gwilt got up and watched him scornfully from the window after the front door closed and he had left the house.
“Armadale himself drove me to it the first time,” she said. “Manuel drove me to it the second time.—You cowardly scoundrel! shall I let you drive me to it for the third time, and the last?”
“Armadale took me there the first time,” she said. “Manuel took me there the second time.—You cowardly scoundrel! Am I really going to let you take me there for the third time, and the last?”
She turned from the window, and looked thoughtfully at her widow’s dress in the glass.
She turned away from the window and thoughtfully looked at her widow's dress in the mirror.
The hours of the day passed—and she decided nothing. The night came—and she hesitated still. The new morning dawned—and the terrible question was still unanswered.
The hours of the day went by—and she still made no decision. Night fell—and she was still unsure. The new morning arrived—and the agonizing question remained unanswered.
By the early post there came a letter for her. It was Mr. Bashwood’s usual report. Again he had watched for Allan’s arrival, and again in vain.
By early post, she received a letter. It was Mr. Bashwood's usual update. Once more, he had waited for Allan's arrival, and once more without success.
“I’ll have more time!” she determined, passionately. “No man alive shall hurry me faster than I like!”
“I’ll have more time!” she declared passionately. “No man alive is going to rush me faster than I want!”
At breakfast that morning (the morning of the 9th) the doctor was surprised in his study by a visit from Miss Gwilt.
At breakfast that morning (the morning of the 9th), the doctor was surprised in his study by a visit from Miss Gwilt.
“I want another day,” she said, the moment the servant had closed the door on her.
“I want another day,” she said, as soon as the servant closed the door behind her.
The doctor looked at her before he answered, and saw the danger of driving her to extremities plainly expressed in her face.
The doctor looked at her before he answered and could clearly see the risk of pushing her to her limits written all over her face.
“The time is getting on,” he remonstrated, in his most persuasive manner. “For all we know to the contrary, Mr. Armadale may be here to-night.”
“The time is getting late,” he protested, in his most convincing way. “For all we know, Mr. Armadale could be here tonight.”
“I want another day!” she repeated, loudly and passionately.
“I want another day!” she shouted, with intensity and fervor.
“Granted!” said the doctor, looking nervously toward the door. “Don’t be too loud—the servants may hear you. Mind!” he added, “I depend on your honor not to press me for any further delay.”
“Okay!” said the doctor, glancing anxiously at the door. “Don’t speak too loudly—the staff might hear you. Be careful!” he added, “I rely on your word not to ask me for any more delays.”
“You had better depend on my despair,” she said, and left him.
“You should rely on my despair,” she said, and walked away from him.
The doctor chipped the shell of his egg, and laughed softly.
The doctor tapped the shell of his egg and chuckled quietly.
“Quite right, my dear!” he thought. “I remember where your despair led you in past times; and I think I may trust it to lead you the same way now.”
“Absolutely, my dear!” he thought. “I remember where your despair took you before, and I believe I can count on it to take you the same way now.”
At a quarter to eight o’clock that night Mr. Bashwood took up his post of observation, as usual, on the platform of the terminus at London Bridge. He was in the highest good spirits; he smiled and smirked in irrepressible exultation. The sense that he held in reserve a means of influence over Miss Gwilt, in virtue of his knowledge of her past career, had had no share in effecting the transformation that now appeared in him. It had upheld his courage in his forlorn life at Thorpe Ambrose, and it had given him that increased confidence of manner which Miss Gwilt herself had noticed; but, from the moment when he had regained his old place in her favor, it had vanished as a motive power in him, annihilated by the electric shock of her touch and her look. His vanity—the vanity which in men at his age is only despair in disguise—had now lifted him to the seventh heaven of fatuous happiness once more. He believed in her again as he believed in the smart new winter overcoat that he wore—as he believed in the dainty little cane (appropriate to the dawning dandyism of lads in their teens) that he flourished in his hand. He hummed! The worn-out old creature, who had not sung since his childhood, hummed, as he paced the platform, the few fragments he could remember of a worn-out old song.
At 7:45 that night, Mr. Bashwood took his usual spot on the platform at London Bridge station. He was in great spirits, smiling and grinning with undeniable joy. The fact that he had some leverage over Miss Gwilt because he knew about her past didn't play a part in the change in him. It had given him strength during his lonely life at Thorpe Ambrose and boosted his confidence, which Miss Gwilt had noticed; but once he regained his standing with her, that feeling faded, overwhelmed by the electrifying impact of her touch and gaze. His vanity—the type that in men his age is just disguised despair—had lifted him to the heights of foolish happiness again. He believed in her again, just like he believed in his sharp new winter coat—as he believed in the stylish little cane (fitting for the budding dandyism of teens) that he waved in his hand. He hummed! The tired old man, who hadn’t sung since he was a child, hummed as he walked the platform, recalling the few bits of an old song he could remember.
The train was due as early as eight o’clock that night. At five minutes past the hour the whistle sounded. In less than five minutes more the passengers were getting out on the platform.
The train was scheduled to arrive as early as eight o’clock that night. At five minutes past the hour, the whistle blew. In less than five more minutes, the passengers were stepping off onto the platform.
Following the instructions that had been given to him, Mr. Bashwood made his way, as well as the crowd would let him, along the line of carriages, and, discovering no familiar face on that first investigation, joined the passengers for a second search among them in the custom-house waiting-room next.
Following the instructions he received, Mr. Bashwood made his way, as much as the crowd would allow, along the line of carriages. Not seeing any familiar faces on his first look, he joined the passengers for a second search among them in the customs waiting room next.
He had looked round the room, and had satisfied himself that the persons occupying it were all strangers, when he heard a voice behind him, exclaiming: “Can that be Mr. Bashwood!” He turned in eager expectation, and found himself face to face with the last man under heaven whom he had expected to see.
He looked around the room and confirmed that everyone in it was a stranger when he heard someone behind him say, “Is that Mr. Bashwood!” He turned around in eager anticipation and was surprised to come face to face with the last person he ever expected to see.
The man was MIDWINTER.
The man was midwinter.
II. IN THE HOUSE.
Noticing Mr. Bashwood’s confusion (after a moment’s glance at the change in his personal appearance), Midwinter spoke first.
Noticing Mr. Bashwood’s confusion (after a quick look at how he had changed his appearance), Midwinter spoke first.
“I see I have surprised you,” he said. “You are looking, I suppose, for somebody else? Have you heard from Allan? Is he on his way home again already?”
“I see I’ve surprised you,” he said. “You were expecting someone else, I guess? Have you heard from Allan? Is he already on his way home again?”
The inquiry about Allan, though it would naturally have suggested itself to any one in Midwinter’s position at that moment, added to Mr. Bashwood’s confusion. Not knowing how else to extricate himself from the critical position in which he was placed, he took refuge in simple denial.
The question about Allan, which would naturally occur to anyone in Midwinter’s shoes at that moment, only added to Mr. Bashwood’s confusion. Not knowing how else to escape the tough situation he was in, he resorted to straightforward denial.
“I know nothing about Mr. Armadale—oh dear, no, sir, I know nothing about Mr. Armadale,” he answered, with needless eagerness and hurry. “Welcome back to England, sir,” he went on, changing the subject in his nervously talkative manner. “I didn’t know you had been abroad. It’s so long since we have had the pleasure—since I have had the pleasure. Have you enjoyed yourself, sir, in foreign parts? Such different manners from ours—yes, yes, yes—such different manners from ours! Do you make a long stay in England, now you have come back?”
“I don’t know anything about Mr. Armadale—oh no, sir, I really don’t know anything about Mr. Armadale,” he replied, a bit too eager and rushed. “Welcome back to England, sir,” he continued, shifting the topic in his anxious, talkative way. “I had no idea you were overseas. It’s been so long since we’ve had the pleasure—since I’ve had the pleasure. Have you enjoyed yourself abroad, sir? Such different customs from ours—yes, yes, yes—such different customs from ours! Are you planning to stay in England for a while now that you’re back?”
“I hardly know,” said Midwinter. “I have been obliged to alter my plans, and to come to England unexpectedly.” He hesitated a little; his manner changed, and he added, in lower tones: “A serious anxiety has brought me back. I can’t say what my plans will be until that anxiety is set at rest.”
“I’m not really sure,” said Midwinter. “I had to change my plans and come to England out of the blue.” He paused for a moment; his demeanor shifted, and he continued in a softer voice: “A serious concern has brought me back. I can’t determine what my plans will be until that concern is resolved.”
The light of a lamp fell on his face while he spoke, and Mr. Bashwood observed, for the first time, that he looked sadly worn and changed.
The light from a lamp shone on his face as he spoke, and Mr. Bashwood noticed, for the first time, that he appeared tired and different.
“I’m sorry, sir—I’m sure I’m very sorry. If I could be of any use—” suggested Mr. Bashwood, speaking under the influence in some degree of his nervous politeness, and in some degree of his remembrance of what Midwinter had done for him at Thorpe Ambrose in the by-gone time.
“I’m really sorry, sir—I truly am. If there’s any way I can help—” suggested Mr. Bashwood, feeling a mix of nervous politeness and memories of what Midwinter had done for him in the past at Thorpe Ambrose.
Midwinter thanked him and turned away sadly. “I am afraid you can be of no use, Mr. Bashwood—but I am obliged to you for your offer, all the same.” He stopped, and considered a little, “Suppose she should not be ill? Suppose some misfortune should have happened?” he resumed, speaking to himself, and turning again toward the steward. “If she has left her mother, some trace of her might be found by inquiring at Thorpe Ambrose.”
Midwinter thanked him and turned away, feeling sad. “I’m afraid you can’t help, Mr. Bashwood—but I appreciate your offer, just the same.” He paused and thought for a moment, “What if she’s not sick? What if something bad has happened?” He continued, speaking to himself and looking back at the steward. “If she’s left her mother, there might be some clue to her whereabouts by checking at Thorpe Ambrose.”
Mr. Bashwood’s curiosity was instantly aroused. The whole sex was interesting to him now, for the sake of Miss Gwilt.
Mr. Bashwood’s curiosity was immediately piqued. The entire situation was intriguing to him now, all because of Miss Gwilt.
“A lady, sir?” he inquired. “Are you looking for a lady?”
“A lady, sir?” he asked. “Are you looking for a lady?”
“I am looking,” said Midwinter, simply, “for my wife.”
“I’m looking,” said Midwinter, plainly, “for my wife.”
“Married, sir!” exclaimed Mr. Bashwood. “Married since I last had the pleasure of seeing you! Might I take the liberty of asking—?”
“Married, sir!” Mr. Bashwood exclaimed. “Married since the last time I had the pleasure of seeing you! May I take the liberty of asking—?”
Midwinter’s eyes dropped uneasily to the ground.
Midwinter's eyes shifted uncomfortably to the ground.
“You knew the lady in former times,” he said. “I have married Miss Gwilt.”
“You knew her back in the day,” he said. “I’ve married Miss Gwilt.”
The steward started back as he might have started back from a loaded pistol leveled at his head. His eyes glared as if he had suddenly lost his senses, and the nervous trembling to which he was subject shook him from head to foot.
The steward jumped back as if he had a loaded gun pointed at him. His eyes were wide with shock, as if he had just lost his mind, and he trembled all over with a noticeable nervousness.
“What’s the matter?” said Midwinter. There was no answer. “What is there so very startling,” he went on, a little impatiently, “in Miss Gwilt’s being my wife?”
“What’s wrong?” said Midwinter. There was no answer. “What’s so shocking,” he continued, a bit impatiently, “about Miss Gwilt being my wife?”
“Your wife?” repeated Mr. Bashwood, helplessly. “Mrs. Armadale—!” He checked himself by a desperate effort, and said no more.
“Your wife?” repeated Mr. Bashwood, helplessly. “Mrs. Armadale—!” He caught himself with a desperate effort and didn’t say anything further.
The stupor of astonishment which possessed the steward was instantly reflected in Midwinter’s face. The name in which he had secretly married his wife had passed the lips of the last man in the world whom he would have dreamed of admitting into his confidence! He took Mr. Bashwood by the arm, and led him away to a quieter part of the terminus than the part of it in which they had hitherto spoken to each other.
The shock on the steward's face was immediately mirrored by Midwinter’s expression. The name under which he had secretly married his wife had just been spoken by the last person he would have ever thought to trust with that information! He grabbed Mr. Bashwood by the arm and guided him to a quieter area of the station than where they had been talking before.
“You referred to my wife just now,” he said; “and you spoke of Mrs. Armadale in the same breath. What do you mean by that?”
“You just mentioned my wife,” he said; “and you talked about Mrs. Armadale in the same sentence. What do you mean by that?”
Again there was no answer. Utterly incapable of understanding more than that he had involved himself in some serious complication which was a complete mystery to him, Mr. Bashwood struggled to extricate himself from the grasp that was laid on him, and struggled in vain.
Again there was no answer. Completely unable to understand that he had gotten himself into a serious mess that was a total mystery to him, Mr. Bashwood tried to free himself from the hold that was on him, but he struggled in vain.
Midwinter sternly repeated the question. “I ask you again,” he said, “what do you mean by it?”
Midwinter firmly asked the question again. “I'm asking you once more,” he said, “what do you mean by that?”
“Nothing, sir! I give you my word of honor, I meant nothing!” He felt the hand on his arm tightening its grasp; he saw, even in the obscurity of the remote corner in which they stood, that Midwinter’s fiery temper was rising, and was not to be trifled with. The extremity of his danger inspired him with the one ready capacity that a timid man possesses when he is compelled by main force to face an emergency—the capacity to lie. “I only meant to say, sir,” he burst out, with a desperate effort to look and speak confidently, “that Mr. Armadale would be surprised—”
“Nothing, sir! I promise, I meant nothing!” He felt the grip on his arm tightening; he could see, even in the dim light of the secluded spot where they stood, that Midwinter’s fiery temper was flaring up and should not be taken lightly. The seriousness of his situation triggered the one skill that a scared person has when forced to confront a crisis—the ability to lie. “I just meant to say, sir,” he blurted out, making a desperate attempt to look and sound confident, “that Mr. Armadale would be surprised—”
“You said Mrs. Armadale!”
“You said Mrs. Armadale!”
“No, sir—on my word of honor, on my sacred word of honor, you are mistaken—you are, indeed! I said Mr. Armadale—how could I say anything else? Please to let me go, sir—I’m pressed for time. I do assure you I’m dreadfully pressed for time!”
“No, sir—on my honor, on my sacred honor, you’re mistaken—you really are! I said Mr. Armadale—how could I say anything else? Please let me go, sir—I’m in a hurry. I assure you I’m terribly pressed for time!”
For a moment longer Midwinter maintained his hold, and in that moment he decided what to do.
For a moment longer, Midwinter kept his grip, and in that moment, he decided what to do.
He had accurately stated his motive for returning to England as proceeding from anxiety about his wife—anxiety naturally caused (after the regular receipt of a letter from her every other, or every third day) by the sudden cessation of the correspondence between them on her side for a whole week. The first vaguely terrible suspicion of some other reason for her silence than the reason of accident or of illness, to which he had hitherto attributed it, had struck through him like a sudden chill the instant he heard the steward associate the name of “Mrs. Armadale” with the idea of his wife. Little irregularities in her correspondence with him, which he had thus far only thought strange, now came back on his mind, and proclaimed themselves to be suspicions as well. He had hitherto believed the reasons she had given for referring him, when he answered her letters, to no more definite address than an address at a post-office. Now he suspected her reasons of being excuses, for the first time. He had hitherto resolved, on reaching London, to inquire at the only place he knew of at which a clew to her could be found—the address she had given him as the address at which “her mother” lived. Now (with a motive which he was afraid to define even to himself, but which was strong enough to overbear every other consideration in his mind) he determined, before all things, to solve the mystery of Mr. Bashwood’s familiarity with a secret, which was a marriage secret between himself and his wife. Any direct appeal to a man of the steward’s disposition, in the steward’s present state of mind, would be evidently useless. The weapon of deception was, in this case, a weapon literally forced into Midwinter’s hands. He let go of Mr. Bashwood’s arm, and accepted Mr. Bashwood’s explanation.
He had clearly explained that his reason for returning to England was out of concern for his wife—concern that naturally arose (after regularly receiving a letter from her every other or third day) from the sudden lack of communication from her side for an entire week. The first vague and alarming thought that there might be another reason for her silence, other than an accident or illness, which he had believed until now, hit him like a chill the moment he heard the steward connect “Mrs. Armadale” with his wife. Small oddities in her letters, which he had merely found strange until now, began to transform into suspicions. Until now, he had trusted the reasons she gave for directing him to no more specific location than a post office address when he replied to her letters. Now, he questioned whether her explanations were actually excuses for the first time. He had previously decided that once in London, he would inquire at the only place he knew a clue to her could be found—the address she had given him for “her mother.” Now (with a motive that he was even afraid to clarify to himself, but which was powerful enough to overshadow all other thoughts) he resolved, above all else, to uncover the mystery of Mr. Bashwood’s knowledge of a secret involving his marriage to his wife. Any direct approach to someone like the steward, given his current state of mind, would clearly be pointless. The tool of deception was, in this instance, something that had been literally thrust into Midwinter’s hands. He released Mr. Bashwood’s arm and accepted the steward’s explanation.
“I beg your pardon,” he said; “I have no doubt you are right. Pray attribute my rudeness to over-anxiety and over-fatigue. I wish you good-evening.”
“I’m sorry,” he said; “I’m sure you’re right. Please chalk up my rudeness to being overly anxious and tired. I wish you a good evening.”
The station was by this time almost a solitude, the passengers by the train being assembled at the examination of their luggage in the custom-house waiting-room. It was no easy matter, ostensibly to take leave of Mr. Bashwood, and really to keep him in view. But Midwinter’s early life with the gypsy master had been of a nature to practice him in such stratagems as he was now compelled to adopt. He walked away toward the waiting-room by the line of empty carriages; opened the door of one of them, as if to look after something that he had left behind, and detected Mr. Bashwood making for the cab-rank on the opposite side of the platform. In an instant Midwinter had crossed, and had passed through the long row of vehicles, so as to skirt it on the side furthest from the platform. He entered the second cab by the left-hand door the moment after Mr. Bashwood had entered the first cab by the right-hand door. “Double your fare, whatever it is,” he said to the driver, “if you keep the cab before you in view, and follow it wherever it goes.” In a minute more both vehicles were on their way out of the station.
The station was now almost deserted, with passengers from the train gathered in the customs waiting area to check their luggage. It wasn’t easy to say goodbye to Mr. Bashwood while also keeping him in sight. But Midwinter’s early experiences with the gypsy master had trained him in the tricks he now needed to use. He walked toward the waiting area along the row of empty carriages, opened one of the doors as if he was retrieving something he had forgotten, and spotted Mr. Bashwood heading for the taxi rank on the other side of the platform. In an instant, Midwinter crossed over and moved through the line of cars, sticking to the side farthest from the platform. He got into the second taxi through the left-hand door just as Mr. Bashwood climbed into the first taxi through the right-hand door. “Double your fare, whatever it is,” he told the driver, “if you keep the taxi in front of you in sight and follow it wherever it goes.” A minute later, both taxis were on their way out of the station.
The clerk sat in the sentry-box at the gate, taking down the destinations of the cabs as they passed. Midwinter heard the man who was driving him call out “Hampstead!” as he went by the clerk’s window.
The clerk sat in the guard booth at the gate, noting the destinations of the cabs as they went by. Midwinter heard the driver shout “Hampstead!” as he passed the clerk’s window.
“Why did you say ‘Hampstead’?” he asked, when they had left the station.
“Why did you say ‘Hampstead’?” he asked after they had left the station.
“Because the man before me said ‘Hampstead,’ sir,” answered the driver.
“Because the guy in front of me said ‘Hampstead,’ sir,” replied the driver.
Over and over again, on the wearisome journey to the northwestern suburb, Midwinter asked if the cab was still in sight. Over and over again, the man answered, “Right in front of us.”
Over and over, during the exhausting trip to the northwestern suburb, Midwinter asked if the cab was still visible. Over and over, the man replied, “Right in front of us.”
It was between nine and ten o’clock when the driver pulled up his horse at last. Midwinter got out, and saw the cab before them waiting at a house door. As soon as he had satisfied himself that the driver was the man whom Mr. Bashwood had hired, he paid the promised reward, and dismissed his own cab.
It was between nine and ten o'clock when the driver finally pulled up his horse. Midwinter got out and saw the cab waiting at a house door. Once he confirmed that the driver was the same guy Mr. Bashwood had hired, he paid the agreed amount and sent away his own cab.
He took a turn backward and forward before the door. The vaguely terrible suspicion which had risen in his mind at the terminus had forced itself by this time into a definite form which was abhorrent to him. Without the shadow of an assignable reason for it, he found himself blindly distrusting his wife’s fidelity, and blindly suspecting Mr. Bashwood of serving her in the capacity of go-between. In sheer horror of his own morbid fancy, he determined to take down the number of the house, and the name of the street in which it stood; and then, in justice to his wife, to return at once to the address which she had given him as the address at which her mother lived. He had taken out his pocket-book, and was on his way to the corner of the street, when he observed the man who had driven Mr. Bashwood looking at him with an expression of inquisitive surprise. The idea of questioning the cab-driver, while he had the opportunity, instantly occurred to him. He took a half-crown from his pocket and put it into the man’s ready hand.
He paced back and forth in front of the door. The unsettling suspicion that had started in his mind at the train station had now taken a specific form that he found repulsive. Without any clear reason for it, he realized he was blindly distrustful of his wife's loyalty and irrationally suspected Mr. Bashwood of being a go-between. Overcome by the horror of his own disturbing thoughts, he decided to note down the house number and the street name. Then, to be fair to his wife, he planned to immediately go back to the address she had given him for her mother's place. He pulled out his wallet and was heading toward the corner of the street when he noticed the man who had driven Mr. Bashwood looking at him with a curious expression. The idea of asking the cab driver a question while he had the chance suddenly popped into his head. He took a half-crown from his pocket and placed it into the man's eager hand.
“Has the gentleman whom you drove from the station gone into that house?” he asked.
“Did the man you drove from the station go into that house?” he asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Did you hear him inquire for anybody when the door was opened?”
“Did you hear him ask for anyone when the door was opened?”
“He asked for a lady, sir. Mrs.—” The man hesitated. “It wasn’t a common name, sir; I should know it again if I heard it.”
“He asked for a lady, sir. Mrs.—” The man paused. “It wasn’t a common name, sir; I’d recognize it if I heard it again.”
“Was it ‘Midwinter’?”
"Was it 'Midwinter'?"
“No, sir.
“No, sir.”
“Armadale?”
"Armadale?"
“That’s it, sir. Mrs. Armadale.”
"That’s it, sir. Mrs. Armadale."
“Are you sure it was ‘Mrs.’ and not ‘Mr.’?”
“Are you sure it was ‘Mrs.’ and not ‘Mr.’?”
“I’m as sure as a man can be who hasn’t taken any particular notice, sir.”
“I’m as sure as a guy can be who hasn’t really paid attention, sir.”
The doubt implied in that last answer decided Midwinter to investigate the matter on the spot. He ascended the house steps. As he raised his hand to the bell at the side of the door, the violence of his agitation mastered him physically for the moment. A strange sensation, as of something leaping up from his heart to his brain, turned his head wildly giddy. He held by the house railings and kept his face to the air, and resolutely waited till he was steady again. Then he rang the bell.
The uncertainty in that last answer prompted Midwinter to look into things right away. He climbed the steps to the house. As he raised his hand to ring the bell next to the door, the intensity of his agitation overwhelmed him for a moment. He felt a strange rush, like something leaping from his heart to his head, which made him feel dizzy. He grabbed onto the railings of the house and faced the air, firmly waiting until he felt steady again. Then he rang the bell.
“Is?”—he tried to ask for “Mrs. Armadale,” when the maid-servant had opened the door, but not even his resolution could force the name to pass his lips—“is your mistress at home?” he asked.
“Is?”—he tried to ask for “Mrs. Armadale,” when the maid opened the door, but even his determination couldn't get the name out—“is your mistress at home?” he asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Sure, sir.”
The girl showed him into a back parlor, and presented him to a little old lady, with an obliging manner and a bright pair of eyes.
The girl led him into a small back room and introduced him to a sweet little old lady, who had a friendly smile and bright eyes.
“There is some mistake,” said Midwinter. “I wished to see—” Once more he tried to utter the name, and once more he failed to force it to his lips.
“There’s some mistake,” said Midwinter. “I wanted to see—” He tried again to say the name, but once again he couldn’t get it out.
“Mrs. Armadale?” suggested the little old lady, with a smile.
“Mrs. Armadale?” suggested the little old lady, smiling.
“Yes.”
“Yes.”
“Show the gentleman upstairs, Jenny.”
“Take the gentleman upstairs, Jenny.”
The girl led the way to the drawing-room floor.
The girl guided us to the drawing-room floor.
“Any name, sir?”
"Any name, sir?"
“No name.”
"Unnamed."
Mr. Bashwood had barely completed his report of what had happened at the terminus; Mr. Bashwood’s imperious mistress was still sitting speechless under the shock of the discovery that had burst on her—when the door of the room opened; and, without a word of warning to proceed him, Midwinter appeared on the threshold. He took one step into the room, and mechanically pushed the door to behind him. He stood in dead silence, and confronted his wife, with a scrutiny that was terrible in its unnatural self-possession, and that enveloped her steadily in one comprehensive look from head to foot.
Mr. Bashwood had just finished reporting what had happened at the station; Mr. Bashwood’s dominating mistress was still sitting there, speechless from the shock of the revelation that had hit her—when the door to the room opened. Without a word of warning, Midwinter appeared in the doorway. He took a step into the room and automatically shut the door behind him. He stood in complete silence, staring at his wife, with a gaze that was frightening in its unnerving calmness, and that took her in with one all-encompassing look from head to toe.
In dead silence on her side, she rose from her chair. In dead silence she stood erect on the hearth-rug, and faced her husband in widow’s weeds. He took one step nearer to her, and stopped again.
In complete silence on her side, she stood up from her chair. In complete silence, she stood tall on the hearth rug, facing her husband in mourning attire. He took a step closer to her and then paused again.
He lifted his hand, and pointed with his lean brown finger at her dress.
He raised his hand and pointed with his thin brown finger at her dress.
“What does that mean?” he asked, without losing his terrible self-possession, and without moving his outstretched hand.
“What does that mean?” he asked, maintaining his cool composure and keeping his outstretched hand still.
At the sound of his voice, the quick rise and fall of her bosom—which had been the one outward betrayal thus far of the inner agony that tortured her—suddenly stopped. She stood impenetrably silent, breathlessly still—as if his question had struck her dead, and his pointing hand had petrified her.
At the sound of his voice, the rapid rise and fall of her chest—which had been the only visible sign of the inner pain she was feeling—suddenly halted. She stood completely silent, breathlessly still—as if his question had stunned her into silence, and his pointing hand had turned her to stone.
He advanced one step nearer, and reiterated his words in a voice even lower and quieter than the voice in which he had spoken first.
He took a step closer and repeated his words in an even softer and quieter voice than before.
One moment more of silence, one moment more of inaction, might have been the salvation of her. But the fatal force of her character triumphed at the crisis of her destiny, and his. White and still, and haggard and old, she met the dreadful emergency with a dreadful courage, and spoke the irrevocable words which renounced him to his face.
One more moment of silence, one more moment of doing nothing, could have saved her. But the powerful nature of her character won out at the turning point of their fates. Pale and motionless, looking worn and aged, she faced the terrifying situation with terrifying bravery and uttered the irreversible words that rejected him right to his face.
“Mr. Midwinter,” she said, in tones unnaturally hard and unnaturally clear, “our acquaintance hardly entitles you to speak to me in that manner.” Those were her words. She never lifted her eyes from the ground while she spoke them. When she had done, the last faint vestige of color in her cheeks faded out.
“Mr. Midwinter,” she said, in a voice that was unnaturally harsh and unnaturally clear, “we barely know each other, so you can't speak to me like that.” Those were her words. She didn't look up from the ground while she said them. When she finished, the last hint of color in her cheeks disappeared.
There was a pause. Still steadily looking at her, he set himself to fix the language she had used to him in his mind. “She calls me ‘Mr. Midwinter,’” he said, slowly, in a whisper. “She speaks of ‘our acquaintance.’” He waited a little and looked round the room. His wandering eyes encountered Mr. Bashwood for the first time. He saw the steward standing near the fireplace, trembling, and watching him.
There was a pause. Still looking at her steadily, he focused on the words she had used with him. “She calls me ‘Mr. Midwinter,’” he said slowly, in a whisper. “She refers to ‘our acquaintance.’” He paused for a moment and glanced around the room. His wandering eyes landed on Mr. Bashwood for the first time. He saw the steward standing by the fireplace, trembling and watching him.
“I once did you a service,” he said; “and you once told me you were not an ungrateful man. Are you grateful enough to answer me if I ask you something?”
“I once did you a favor,” he said; “and you once told me you weren’t an ungrateful person. Are you grateful enough to answer me if I ask you something?”
He waited a little again. Mr. Bashwood still stood trembling at the fireplace, silently watching him.
He waited a bit longer. Mr. Bashwood was still standing there, shaking by the fireplace, quietly watching him.
“I see you looking at me,” he went on. “Is there some change in me that I am not conscious of myself? Am I seeing things that you don’t see? Am I hearing words that you don’t hear? Am I looking or speaking like a man out of his senses?”
“I see you looking at me,” he continued. “Is there something different about me that I'm not aware of? Am I noticing things that you don’t see? Am I hearing words that you don’t hear? Am I acting or talking like a man who's lost his mind?”
Again he waited, and again the silence was unbroken. His eyes began to glitter; and the savage blood that he had inherited from his mother rose dark and slow in his ashy cheeks.
Again he waited, and once more the silence remained unbroken. His eyes began to shine; and the fierce blood he had inherited from his mother surged dark and slow in his pale cheeks.
“Is that woman,” he asked, “the woman whom you once knew, whose name was Miss Gwilt?”
“Is that woman,” he asked, “the woman you once knew, named Miss Gwilt?”
Once more his wife collected her fatal courage. Once more his wife spoke her fatal words.
Once again, his wife gathered her brave determination. Once again, his wife said her fateful words.
“You compel me to repeat,” she said, “that you are presuming on our acquaintance, and that you are forgetting what is due to me.”
“You're making me say this again,” she said, “but you're taking our friendship for granted, and you're forgetting what I deserve.”
He turned upon her, with a savage suddenness which forced a cry of alarm from Mr. Bashwood’s lips.
He spun around to her with an intense suddenness that made Mr. Bashwood gasp in alarm.
“Are you, or are you not, My Wife?” he asked, through his set teeth.
“Are you, or are you not, my wife?” he asked, through clenched teeth.
She raised her eyes to his for the first time. Her lost spirit looked at him, steadily defiant, out of the hell of its own despair.
She looked up at him for the first time. Her lost spirit stared at him, fiercely defiant, emerging from the depths of its own despair.
“I am not your wife,” she said.
“I am not your wife,” she said.
He staggered back, with his hands groping for something to hold by, like the hands of a man in the dark. He leaned heavily against the wall of the room, and looked at the woman who had slept on his bosom, and who had denied him to his face.
He stumbled back, reaching out for something to grab onto, like a guy in the dark. He leaned heavily against the wall of the room and looked at the woman who had slept on his chest and had denied him right to his face.
Mr. Bashwood stole panic-stricken to her side. “Go in there!” he whispered, trying to draw her toward the folding-doors which led into the next room. “For God’s sake, be quick! He’ll kill you!”
Mr. Bashwood rushed to her side, clearly terrified. “Get in there!” he whispered, attempting to pull her toward the folding doors that led into the next room. “Please, hurry! He'll kill you!”
She put the old man back with her hand. She looked at him with a sudden irradiation of her blank face. She answered him with lips that struggled slowly into a frightful smile.
She pushed the old man away with her hand. She stared at him, and her blank face suddenly lit up. She replied to him with lips that slowly twisted into a terrifying smile.
“Let him kill me,” she said.
“Let him kill me,” she said.
As the words passed her lips, he sprang forward from the wall, with a cry that rang through the house. The frenzy of a maddened man flashed at her from his glassy eyes, and clutched at her in his threatening hands. He came on till he was within arms-length of her—and suddenly stood still. The black flush died out of his face in the instant when he stopped. His eyelids fell, his outstretched hands wavered and sank helpless. He dropped, as the dead drop. He lay as the dead lie, in the arms of the wife who had denied him.
As the words left her mouth, he rushed forward from the wall, letting out a cry that echoed through the house. The madness of a crazed man shone in his glassy eyes and reached out to her with his threatening hands. He advanced until he was within arm's reach of her—and then suddenly stopped. The dark anger drained from his face the moment he halted. His eyelids drooped, and his outstretched hands trembled and fell weakly. He collapsed, like a lifeless body. He lay there like a corpse in the arms of the wife who had rejected him.
She knelt on the floor, and rested his head on her knee. She caught the arm of the steward hurrying to help her, with a hand that closed round it like a vise. “Go for a doctor,” she said, “and keep the people of the house away till he comes.” There was that in her eye, there was that in her voice, which would have warned any man living to obey her in silence. In silence Mr. Bashwood submitted, and hurried out of the room.
She knelt on the floor and rested his head on her knee. She grabbed the steward's arm as he rushed to help her, holding it tightly. “Go get a doctor,” she said, “and keep everyone in the house away until he arrives.” There was something in her eyes and her voice that would have made any man understand he should just listen to her quietly. Quietly, Mr. Bashwood complied and hurried out of the room.
The instant she was alone she raised him from her knee. With both arms clasped round him, the miserable woman lifted his lifeless face to hers and rocked him on her bosom in an agony of tenderness beyond all relief in tears, in a passion of remorse beyond all expression in words. In silence she held him to her breast, in silence she devoured his forehead, his cheeks, his lips, with kisses. Not a sound escaped her till she heard the trampling footsteps outside, hurrying up the stairs. Then a low moan burst from her lips, as she looked her last at him, and lowered his head again to her knee, before the strangers came in.
The moment she was alone, she lifted him from her lap. With both arms wrapped around him, the heartbroken woman raised his lifeless face to hers and rocked him against her chest in a wave of tenderness that offered no relief through tears, in a rush of guilt that was beyond any words. In silence, she held him close, in silence she kissed his forehead, cheeks, and lips. Not a sound left her until she heard the hurried footsteps outside, coming up the stairs. Then a soft moan escaped her as she took one last look at him and lowered his head back onto her lap before the strangers entered.
The landlady and the steward were the first persons whom she saw when the door was opened. The medical man (a surgeon living in the street) followed. The horror and the beauty of her face as she looked up at him absorbed the surgeon’s attention for the moment, to the exclusion of everything else. She had to beckon to him, she had to point to the senseless man, before she could claim his attention for his patient and divert it from herself.
The landlady and the steward were the first people she saw when the door opened. The doctor (a surgeon who lived on the street) followed behind. The mix of horror and beauty on her face as she looked up at him captured the surgeon’s focus for a moment, making him oblivious to everything else. She had to signal him and point to the unconscious man before she could get his attention for his patient and shift it away from herself.
“Is he dead?” she asked.
"Is he dead?" she asked.
The surgeon carried Midwinter to the sofa, and ordered the windows to be opened. “It is a fainting fit,” he said; “nothing more.”
The surgeon lifted Midwinter onto the sofa and told someone to open the windows. “It’s just a fainting spell,” he said, “nothing serious.”
At that answer her strength failed her for the first time. She drew a deep breath of relief, and leaned on the chimney-piece for support. Mr. Bashwood was the only person present who noticed that she was overcome. He led her to the opposite end of the room, where there was an easy-chair, leaving the landlady to hand the restoratives to the surgeon as they were wanted.
At that answer, her strength gave out for the first time. She took a deep breath of relief and leaned on the mantelpiece for support. Mr. Bashwood was the only one present who noticed that she was overwhelmed. He guided her to the other side of the room, where there was a comfy chair, leaving the landlady to pass the supplies to the surgeon as needed.
“Are you going to wait here till he recovers?” whispered the steward, looking toward the sofa, and trembling as he looked.
“Are you going to wait here until he gets better?” whispered the steward, looking toward the sofa and shaking as he looked.
The question forced her to a sense of her position—to a knowledge of the merciless necessities which that position now forced her to confront. With a heavy sigh she looked toward the sofa, considered with herself for a moment, and answered Mr. Bashwood’s inquiry by a question on her side.
The question made her acknowledge her situation—she had to face the harsh realities that came with it. With a deep sigh, she glanced at the sofa, thought about it for a moment, and responded to Mr. Bashwood's inquiry with a question of her own.
“Is the cab that brought you here from the railway still at the door?”
“Is the cab that brought you here from the train still outside?”
“Yes.”
“Yep.”
“Drive at once to the gates of the Sanitarium, and wait there till I join you.”
“Drive straight to the gates of the Sanitarium and wait there until I meet you.”
Mr. Bashwood hesitated. She lifted her eyes to his, and, with a look, sent him out of the room.
Mr. Bashwood hesitated. She raised her eyes to his and, with a glance, sent him out of the room.
“The gentleman is coming to, ma’am,” said the landlady, as the steward closed the door. “He has just breathed again.”
“The gentleman is coming to, ma’am,” said the landlady, as the steward closed the door. “He just took a breath again.”
She bowed in mute reply, rose, and considered with herself once more—looked toward the sofa for the second time—then passed through the folding-doors into her own room.
She silently nodded, got up, and thought about it again—glanced at the sofa for the second time—then walked through the folding doors into her room.
After a short lapse of time the surgeon drew back from the sofa and motioned to the landlady to stand aside. The bodily recovery of the patient was assured. There was nothing to be done now but to wait, and let his mind slowly recall its sense of what had happened.
After a brief moment, the surgeon stepped back from the sofa and signaled for the landlady to step aside. The patient was definitely on the road to recovery. There was nothing left to do but wait and allow his mind to gradually process what had happened.
“Where is she?” were the first words he said to the surgeon, and the landlady anxiously watching him.
“Where is she?” were the first words he said to the surgeon, as the landlady anxiously watched him.
The landlady knocked at the folding-doors, and received no answer. She went in, and found the room empty. A sheet of note-paper was on the dressing-table, with the doctor’s fee placed on it. The paper contained these lines, evidently written in great agitation or in great haste: “It is impossible for me to remain here to-night, after what has happened. I will return to-morrow to take away my luggage, and to pay what I owe you.”
The landlady knocked on the folding doors and got no response. She stepped inside and found the room empty. There was a piece of note paper on the dressing table with the doctor’s fee sitting on it. The note read, clearly written in a rush or distress: “I can’t stay here tonight after what happened. I’ll come back tomorrow to collect my things and pay what I owe you.”
“Where is she?” Midwinter asked again, when the landlady returned alone to the drawing-room.
“Where is she?” Midwinter asked again when the landlady returned alone to the living room.
“Gone, sir.”
“It's gone, sir.”
“I don’t believe it!”
“I can't believe it!”
The old lady’s color rose. “If you know her handwriting, sir,” she answered, handing him the sheet of note-paper, “perhaps you may believe that?”
The old lady’s color rose. “If you recognize her handwriting, sir,” she replied, handing him the sheet of note-paper, “maybe you’ll believe that?”
He looked at the paper. “I beg your pardon, ma’am,” he said, as he handed it back—“I beg your pardon, with all my heart.”
He looked at the paper. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said, as he handed it back—“I’m truly sorry.”
There was something in his face as he spoke those words which more than soothed the old lady’s irritation: it touched her with a sudden pity for the man who had offended her. “I am afraid there is some dreadful trouble, sir, at the bottom of all this,” she said, simply. “Do you wish me to give any message to the lady when she comes back?”
There was something in his face as he said those words that not only calmed the old lady's irritation but also made her feel a sudden sympathy for the man who had wronged her. “I’m afraid there’s some serious trouble behind all this,” she said plainly. “Do you want me to pass on any message to the lady when she returns?”
Midwinter rose and steadied himself for a moment against the sofa. “I will bring my own message to-morrow,” he said. “I must see her before she leaves your house.”
Midwinter stood against the sofa for a moment to steady himself. “I’ll bring my own message tomorrow,” he said. “I need to see her before she leaves your place.”
The surgeon accompanied his patient into the street. “Can I see you home?” he said, kindly. “You had better not walk, if it is far. You mustn’t overexert yourself; you mustn’t catch a chill this cold night.”
The surgeon walked with his patient out to the street. “Can I take you home?” he said gently. “You shouldn’t walk if it’s far. You need to take it easy; you don’t want to catch a chill on this cold night.”
Midwinter took his hand and thanked him. “I have been used to hard walking and cold nights, sir,” he said; “and I am not easily worn out, even when I look so broken as I do now. If you will tell me the nearest way out of these streets, I think the quiet of the country and the quiet of the night will help me. I have something serious to do to-morrow,” he added, in a lower tone; “and I can’t rest or sleep till I have thought over it to-night.”
Midwinter took his hand and thanked him. “I’m used to long walks and cold nights, sir,” he said; “and I’m not easily worn out, even when I look as worn out as I do now. If you could tell me the quickest way out of these streets, I think the peace of the countryside and the stillness of the night will help me. I have something important to do tomorrow,” he added in a quieter voice; “and I can’t relax or sleep until I’ve thought it over tonight.”
The surgeon understood that he had no common man to deal with. He gave the necessary directions without any further remark, and parted with his patient at his own door.
The surgeon realized that he wasn't dealing with an ordinary person. He provided the necessary instructions without any additional comments and concluded his interaction with the patient at his own door.
Left by himself, Midwinter paused, and looked up at the heavens in silence. The night had cleared, and the stars were out—the stars which he had first learned to know from his gypsy master on the hillside. For the first time his mind went back regretfully to his boyish days. “Oh, for the old life!” he thought, longingly. “I never knew till now how happy the old life was!”
Left alone, Midwinter stopped and looked up at the sky in silence. The night had cleared, and the stars were shining—the stars he had first learned to recognize from his gypsy mentor on the hillside. For the first time, he remembered his childhood days with a sense of regret. “Oh, for the old life!” he thought eagerly. “I never realized until now how happy the old life was!”
He roused himself, and went on toward the open country. His face darkened as he left the streets behind him and advanced into the solitude and obscurity that lay beyond.
He woke up and headed toward the open fields. His expression grew somber as he moved away from the streets and into the solitude and darkness that awaited him.
“She has denied her husband to-night,” he said. “She shall know her master to-morrow.”
“She denied her husband tonight,” he said. “She will know who’s in charge tomorrow.”
III. THE PURPLE FLASK.
The cab was waiting at the gates as Miss Gwilt approached the Sanitarium. Mr. Bashwood got out and advanced to meet her. She took his arm and led him aside a few steps, out of the cabman’s hearing.
The cab was waiting at the gates as Miss Gwilt walked toward the Sanitarium. Mr. Bashwood got out and stepped forward to greet her. She took his arm and moved him a few steps aside, away from the cab driver’s hearing.
“Think what you like of me,” she said, keeping her thick black veil down over her face, “but don’t speak to me to-night. Drive back to your hotel as if nothing had happened. Meet the tidal train to-morrow as usual, and come to me afterward at the Sanitarium. Go without a word, and I shall believe there is one man in the world who really loves me. Stay and ask questions, and I shall bid you good-by at once and forever!”
“Think what you want about me,” she said, keeping her thick black veil over her face, “but don’t talk to me tonight. Go back to your hotel like nothing happened. Catch the tidal train tomorrow as usual, and come see me afterward at the Sanitarium. Leave without saying anything, and I will believe there is one man in the world who truly loves me. If you stay and ask questions, I’ll say goodbye to you right then and for good!”
She pointed to the cab. In a minute more it had left the Sanitarium and was taking Mr. Bashwood back to his hotel.
She pointed to the cab. In just a minute, it had left the Sanitarium and was taking Mr. Bashwood back to his hotel.
She opened the iron gate and walked slowly up to the house door. A shudder ran through her as she rang the bell. She laughed bitterly. “Shivering again!” she said to herself. “Who would have thought I had so much feeling left in me?”
She opened the iron gate and walked slowly up to the front door. A shiver ran through her as she rang the bell. She laughed bitterly. “Shivering again!” she said to herself. “Who would have thought I had so much feeling left in me?”
For once in her life the doctor’s face told the truth, when the study door opened between ten and eleven at night, and Miss Gwilt entered the room.
For once in her life, the doctor's face showed the truth when the study door opened between ten and eleven at night, and Miss Gwilt walked into the room.
“Mercy on me!” he exclaimed, with a look of the blankest bewilderment. “What does this mean?”
“Have mercy on me!” he exclaimed, looking utterly confused. “What does this mean?”
“It means,” she answered, “that I have decided to-night instead of deciding to-morrow. You, who know women so well, ought to know that they act on impulse. I am here on an impulse. Take me or leave me, just as you like.”
“It means,” she replied, “that I’ve decided tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow. You, who understand women so well, should know that we often act on impulse. I’m here on a whim. Take me or leave me, it’s up to you.”
“Take you or leave you?” repeated the doctor, recovering his presence of mind. “My dear lady, what a dreadful way of putting it! Your room shall be got ready instantly! Where is your luggage? Will you let me send for it? No? You can do without your luggage to-night? What admirable fortitude! You will fetch it yourself to-morrow? What extraordinary independence! Do take off your bonnet. Do draw in to the fire! What can I offer you?”
“Take you or leave you?” the doctor repeated, regaining his composure. “My dear lady, what a terrible way to say it! Your room will be prepared right away! Where's your luggage? Can I send someone to get it? No? You can manage without your luggage tonight? What remarkable strength! You'll get it yourself tomorrow? What incredible independence! Please, take off your bonnet. Come closer to the fire! What can I offer you?”
“Offer me the strongest sleeping draught you ever made in your life,” she replied. “And leave me alone till the time comes to take it. I shall be your patient in earnest!” she added, fiercely, as the doctor attempted to remonstrate. “I shall be the maddest of the mad if you irritate me to-night!”
“Give me the strongest sleeping potion you've ever made,” she said. “And leave me alone until it’s time to take it. I’ll be your patient for real!” she added fiercely as the doctor tried to object. “I’ll go absolutely crazy if you annoy me tonight!”
The Principal of the Sanitarium became gravely and briefly professional in an instant.
The Principal of the Sanitarium quickly and seriously became all business.
“Sit down in that dark corner,” he said. “Not a soul shall disturb you. In half an hour you will find your room ready, and your sleeping draught on the table.”—“It’s been a harder struggle for her than I anticipated,” he thought, as he left the room, and crossed to his Dispensary on the opposite side of the hall. “Good heavens, what business has she with a conscience, after such a life as hers has been!”
“Sit down in that dark corner,” he said. “No one will bother you. In half an hour, your room will be ready, and the sleeping potion will be on the table.” — “It’s been a much tougher struggle for her than I expected,” he thought, as he left the room and walked to his Dispensary on the other side of the hall. “Good heavens, what does she have to do with a conscience after a life like hers?”
The Dispensary was elaborately fitted up with all the latest improvements in medical furniture. But one of the four walls of the room was unoccupied by shelves, and here the vacant space was filled by a handsome antique cabinet of carved wood, curiously out of harmony, as an object, with the unornamented utilitarian aspect of the place generally. On either side of the cabinet two speaking-tubes were inserted in the wall, communicating with the upper regions of the house, and labeled respectively “Resident Dispenser” and “Head Nurse.” Into the second of these tubes the doctor spoke, on entering the room. An elderly woman appeared, took her orders for preparing Mrs. Armadale’s bed-chamber, courtesied, and retired.
The Dispensary was nicely equipped with all the latest medical furniture. However, one of the four walls in the room was bare, and in that empty space stood a beautiful antique cabinet made of carved wood, which looked oddly out of place next to the otherwise plain and practical design of the room. On either side of the cabinet, there were two speaking tubes built into the wall, labeled “Resident Dispenser” and “Head Nurse.” As the doctor came into the room, he spoke into the second tube. An elderly woman appeared, took his orders for preparing Mrs. Armadale’s bedroom, curtsied, and left.
Left alone again in the Dispensary, the doctor unlocked the center compartment of the cabinet, and disclosed a collection of bottles inside, containing the various poisons used in medicine. After taking out the laudanum wanted for the sleeping draught, and placing it on the dispensary table, he went back to the cabinet, looked into it for a little while, shook his head doubtfully, and crossed to the open shelves on the opposite side of the room.
Left alone again in the Dispensary, the doctor unlocked the center compartment of the cabinet and revealed a collection of bottles containing various poisons used in medicine. After taking out the laudanum needed for the sleeping potion and placing it on the dispensary table, he returned to the cabinet, looked inside for a moment, shook his head uncertainly, and walked over to the open shelves on the opposite side of the room.
Here, after more consideration, he took down one out of the row of large chemical bottles before him, filled with a yellow liquid; placing the bottle on the table, he returned to the cabinet, and opened a side compartment, containing some specimens of Bohemian glass-work. After measuring it with his eye, he took from the specimens a handsome purple flask, high and narrow in form, and closed by a glass stopper. This he filled with the yellow liquid, leaving a small quantity only at the bottom of the bottle, and locking up the flask again in the place from which he had taken it. The bottle was next restored to its place, after having been filled up with water from the cistern in the Dispensary, mixed with certain chemical liquids in small quantities, which restored it (so far as appearances went) to the condition in which it had been when it was first removed from the shelf. Having completed these mysterious proceedings, the doctor laughed softly, and went back to his speaking-tubes to summon the Resident Dispenser next.
Here, after thinking it over, he took down one of the large chemical bottles in front of him, filled with a yellow liquid. He placed the bottle on the table, went back to the cabinet, and opened a side compartment that held some pieces of Bohemian glasswork. After assessing it visually, he selected a beautiful purple flask, tall and narrow, with a glass stopper. He filled this flask with the yellow liquid, leaving just a small amount in the bottle, and locked the flask back in the spot where he found it. He then returned the bottle to its place, refilling it with water from the cistern in the Dispensary, mixed with a few chemical liquids in small amounts, which made it (at least on the outside) look like it had when it was first taken from the shelf. Once he finished these mysterious tasks, the doctor chuckled softly and went back to his speaking tubes to call the Resident Dispenser next.
The Resident Dispenser made his appearance shrouded in the necessary white apron from his waist to his feet. The doctor solemnly wrote a prescription for a composing draught, and handed it to his assistant.
The Resident Dispenser showed up wearing the required white apron that went from his waist to his feet. The doctor seriously wrote a prescription for a calming drink and gave it to his assistant.
“Wanted immediately, Benjamin,” he said in a soft and melancholy voice. “A lady patient—Mrs. Armadale, Room No. 1, second floor. Ah, dear, dear!” groaned the doctor, absently; “an anxious case, Benjamin—an anxious case.” He opened the brand-new ledger of the establishment, and entered the Case at full length, with a brief abstract of the prescription. “Have you done with the laudanum? Put it back, and lock the cabinet, and give me the key. Is the draught ready? Label it, ‘To be taken at bedtime,’ and give it to the nurse, Benjamin—give it to the nurse.”
“Benjamin, I need you right away,” he said softly, with a hint of sadness. “There’s a female patient—Mrs. Armadale, Room No. 1, second floor. Oh, dear!” the doctor groaned absentmindedly, “It’s a tough case, Benjamin—a tough case.” He opened the brand-new ledger for the place and recorded the details of the case, along with a brief summary of the prescription. “Have you finished with the laudanum? Put it back, lock the cabinet, and hand me the key. Is the draught ready? Label it ‘To be taken at bedtime,’ and give it to the nurse, Benjamin—hand it to the nurse.”
While the doctor’s lips were issuing these directions, the doctor’s hands were occupied in opening a drawer under the desk on which the ledger was placed. He took out some gayly printed cards of admission “to view the Sanitarium, between the hours of two and four P.M.,” and filled them up with the date of the next day, “December 10th.” When a dozen of the cards had been wrapped up in a dozen lithographed letters of invitation, and inclosed in a dozen envelopes, he next consulted a list of the families resident in the neighborhood, and directed the envelopes from the list. Ringing a bell this time, instead of speaking through a tube, he summoned the man-servant, and gave him the letters, to be delivered by hand the first thing the next morning. “I think it will do,” said the doctor, taking a turn in the Dispensary when the servant had gone out—“I think it will do.” While he was still absorbed in his own reflections, the nurse re-appeared to announce that the lady’s room was ready; and the doctor thereupon formally returned to the study to communicate the information to Miss Gwilt.
While the doctor was giving these instructions, his hands were busy opening a drawer beneath the desk where the ledger was placed. He pulled out some brightly printed admission cards "to view the Sanitarium, between the hours of two and four P.M.," and filled them out with the date for the next day, "December 10th." After wrapping a dozen cards in a dozen lithographed invitation letters and putting them in envelopes, he checked a list of families living in the area and addressed the envelopes accordingly. Instead of using the tube this time, he rang a bell to call the man-servant and handed him the letters to be delivered by hand first thing the next morning. "I think that will work," the doctor said, taking a moment in the Dispensary after the servant left—"I think that will work." While he was still lost in his thoughts, the nurse returned to let him know that the lady's room was ready; the doctor then formally went back to the study to share the news with Miss Gwilt.
She had not moved since he left her. She rose from her dark corner when he made his announcement, and, without speaking or raising her veil, glided out of the room like a ghost.
She hadn’t moved since he left her. She got up from her dark corner when he made his announcement and, without saying a word or lifting her veil, floated out of the room like a ghost.
After a brief interval, the nurse came downstairs again, with a word for her master’s private ear.
After a short while, the nurse came back downstairs, ready to share something privately with her master.
“The lady has ordered me to call her to-morrow at seven o’clock, sir,” she said. “She means to fetch her luggage herself, and she wants to have a cab at the door as soon as she is dressed. What am I to do?”
“The lady has asked me to call her tomorrow at seven o’clock, sir,” she said. “She plans to pick up her luggage herself, and she wants a cab waiting at the door as soon as she’s ready. What should I do?”
“Do what the lady tells you,” said the doctor. “She may be safely trusted to return to the Sanitarium.”
“Do what the lady says,” the doctor said. “You can safely trust her to go back to the Sanitarium.”
The breakfast hour at the Sanitarium was half-past eight o’clock. By that time Miss Gwilt had settled everything at her lodgings, and had returned with her luggage in her own possession. The doctor was quite amazed at the promptitude of his patient.
The breakfast hour at the Sanitarium was 8:30. By then, Miss Gwilt had taken care of everything at her place and came back with her luggage in hand. The doctor was quite surprised by his patient's punctuality.
“Why waste so much energy?” he asked, when they met at the breakfast-table. “Why be in such a hurry, my dear lady, when you had all the morning before you?”
“Why waste so much energy?” he asked when they met at the breakfast table. “Why rush, my dear lady, when you had all morning ahead of you?”
“Mere restlessness!” she said, briefly. “The longer I live, the more impatient I get.”
“Mere restlessness!” she said briefly. “The longer I live, the more impatient I become.”
The doctor, who had noticed before she spoke that her face looked strangely pale and old that morning, observed, when she answered him, that her expression—naturally mobile in no ordinary degree—remained quite unaltered by the effort of speaking. There was none of the usual animation on her lips, none of the usual temper in her eyes. He had never seen her so impenetrably and coldly composed as he saw her now. “She has made up her mind at last,” he thought. “I may say to her this morning what I couldn’t say to her last night.”
The doctor, who had noticed before she spoke that her face looked strangely pale and tired that morning, observed, when she finally responded, that her expression—usually very animated—remained completely unchanged by the effort of speaking. There was none of the usual liveliness on her lips, none of the typical spark in her eyes. He had never seen her so unyieldingly and coldly composed as he did now. “She has finally made up her mind,” he thought. “I can say to her this morning what I couldn’t say to her last night.”
He prefaced the coming remarks by a warning look at her widow’s dress.
He started his comments with a warning glance at her widow's dress.
“Now you have got your luggage,” he began, gravely, “permit me to suggest putting that cap away, and wearing another gown.”
“Now that you have your luggage,” he started, seriously, “let me suggest you put that cap away and wear a different dress.”
“Why?”
“Why?”
“Do you remember what you told me a day or two since?” asked the doctor. “You said there was a chance of Mr. Armadale’s dying in my Sanitarium?”
“Do you remember what you told me a day or two ago?” asked the doctor. “You said there was a chance that Mr. Armadale might die in my Sanitarium?”
“I will say it again, if you like.”
"I'll say it again, if you want."
“A more unlikely chance,” pursued the doctor, deaf as ever to all awkward interruptions, “it is hardly possible to imagine! But as long as it is a chance at all, it is worth considering. Say, then, that he dies—dies suddenly and unexpectedly, and makes a Coroner’s Inquest necessary in the house. What is our course in that case? Our course is to preserve the characters to which we have committed ourselves—you as his widow, and I as the witness of your marriage—and, in those characters, to court the fullest inquiry. In the entirely improbable event of his dying just when we want him to die, my idea—I might even say, my resolution—is to admit that we knew of his resurrection from the sea; and to acknowledge that we instructed Mr. Bashwood to entrap him into this house, by means of a false statement about Miss Milroy. When the inevitable questions follow, I propose to assert that he exhibited symptoms of mental alienation shortly after your marriage; that his delusion consisted in denying that you were his wife, and in declaring that he was engaged to be married to Miss Milroy; that you were in such terror of him on this account, when you heard he was alive and coming back, as to be in a state of nervous agitation that required my care; that at your request, and to calm that nervous agitation, I saw him professionally, and got him quietly into the house by a humoring of his delusion, perfectly justifiable in such a case; and, lastly, that I can certify his brain to have been affected by one of those mysterious disorders, eminently incurable, eminently fatal, in relation to which medical science is still in the dark. Such a course as this (in the remotely possible event which we are now supposing) would be, in your interests and mine, unquestionably the right course to take; and such a dress as that is, just as certainly, under existing circumstances, the wrong dress to wear.”
“A more unlikely chance,” the doctor continued, oblivious to the awkward interruptions, “is hard to imagine! But as long as there is any chance at all, it’s worth thinking about. So, let’s say he dies—dies suddenly and unexpectedly, making a Coroner’s Inquest necessary in the house. What’s our plan then? Our plan is to maintain the roles we’ve assumed—you as his widow, and I as the witness for your marriage—and, in those roles, to seek the fullest inquiry. In the totally unlikely event that he dies just when we want him to, my idea—I could even say, my decision—is to admit that we knew he had come back from the sea; and to acknowledge that we told Mr. Bashwood to lure him into this house with a false claim about Miss Milroy. When the inevitable questions come, I plan to say that he showed signs of mental instability shortly after your marriage; that his delusion was denying you were his wife and insisting he was engaged to Miss Milroy; that you were so terrified of him knowing he was alive and returning, that you were in a state of nervous agitation needing my care; that at your request, and to ease that agitation, I saw him professionally and got him quietly into the house by accommodating his delusion, which is perfectly justifiable in such cases; and finally, that I can certify his brain was affected by one of those mysterious disorders, completely incurable, completely fatal, regarding which medical science is still clueless. Taking this course (in the very remote possibility we’re now considering) would be, in your best interest and mine, definitely the right approach; and wearing that would, without a doubt, be the wrong outfit under the current circumstances.”
“Shall I take it off at once?” she asked, rising from the breakfast-table, without a word of remark on what had just been said to her.
“Should I take it off right now?” she asked, getting up from the breakfast table, without saying anything about what had just been mentioned to her.
“Anytime before two o’clock to-day will do,” said the doctor.
“Anytime before two o’clock today works,” said the doctor.
She looked at him with a languid curiosity—nothing more. “Why before two?” she inquired.
She looked at him with a lazy curiosity—nothing more. “Why before two?” she asked.
“Because this is one of my ‘Visitors’ Days,’ And the visitors’ time is from two to four.”
“Because this is one of my ‘Visitors’ Days,’ and the visitors' time is from 2 PM to 4 PM.”
“What have I to do with your visitors?”
“What do I care about your visitors?”
“Simply this. I think it important that perfectly respectable and perfectly disinterested witnesses should see you, in my house, in the character of a lady who has come to consult me.”
“Just this. I believe it's important that completely respectable and unbiased witnesses see you, in my home, as a lady who has come to consult me.”
“Your motive seems rather far-fetched. Is it the only motive you have in the matter?”
“Your motive seems pretty unlikely. Is it the only reason you have in this situation?”
“My dear, dear lady!” remonstrated the doctor, “have I any concealments from you? Surely, you ought to know me better than that?”
“My dear, dear lady!” the doctor protested, “do I have any secrets from you? Surely, you should know me better than that?”
“Yes,” she said, with a weary contempt. “It’s dull enough of me not to understand you by this time. Send word upstairs when I am wanted.” She left him, and went back to her room.
“Yes,” she said, with tired disdain. “It’s pretty dull of me not to get you by now. Just send someone to tell me when I’m needed.” She walked away and went back to her room.
Two o’clock came; and in a quarter of an hour afterward the visitors had arrived. Short as the notice had been, cheerless as the Sanitarium looked to spectators from without, the doctor’s invitation had been largely accepted, nevertheless, by the female members of the families whom he had addressed. In the miserable monotony of the lives led by a large section of the middle classes of England, anything is welcome to the women which offers them any sort of harmless refuge from the established tyranny of the principle that all human happiness begins and ends at home. While the imperious needs of a commercial country limited the representatives of the male sex, among the doctor’s visitors, to one feeble old man and one sleepy little boy, the women, poor souls, to the number of no less than sixteen—old and young, married and single—had seized the golden opportunity of a plunge into public life. Harmoniously united by the two common objects which they all had in view—in the first place, to look at each other, and, in the second place, to look at the Sanitarium—they streamed in neatly dressed procession through the doctor’s dreary iron gates, with a thin varnish over them of assumed superiority to all unladylike excitement, most significant and most pitiable to see!
Two o’clock arrived, and fifteen minutes later, the visitors showed up. Even though the notice was short and the Sanitarium appeared bleak to outsiders, the doctor’s invitation was largely accepted by the female members of the families he had reached out to. In the dull routine of life for many in England's middle class, any chance for women to escape the everyday pressures of home life was welcomed. While the demands of a commercial society meant that the men among the doctor’s visitors were just a frail old man and a sleepy young boy, the women—bless them—numbered no less than sixteen, both young and old, married and single. They eagerly embraced the chance to step into public life. United by two main purposes—first, to see each other, and second, to check out the Sanitarium—they marched in a well-dressed line through the doctor’s grim iron gates, showing a thin veneer of superiority over any unladylike behavior, a sight that was both striking and sadly unfortunate to witness!
The proprietor of the Sanitarium received his visitors in the hall with Miss Gwilt on his arm. The hungry eyes of every woman in the company overlooked the doctor as if no such person had existed; and, fixing on the strange lady, devoured her from head to foot in an instant.
The owner of the Sanitarium welcomed his guests in the hall with Miss Gwilt on his arm. Every woman's hungry gaze totally ignored the doctor, as if he wasn’t even there, and immediately focused on the unusual woman, taking her in from head to toe in an instant.
“My First Inmate,” said the doctor, presenting Miss Gwilt. “This lady only arrived late last night; and she takes the present opportunity (the only one my morning’s engagements have allowed me to give her) of going over the Sanitarium.—Allow me, ma’am,” he went on, releasing Miss Gwilt, and giving his arm to the eldest lady among the visitors. “Shattered nerves—domestic anxiety,” he whispered, confidentially. “Sweet woman! sad case!” He sighed softly, and led the old lady across the hall.
“My First Inmate,” said the doctor, introducing Miss Gwilt. “This lady just arrived late last night, and she’s taking this chance (the only one my morning schedule has allowed) to tour the Sanitarium. —Please, ma’am,” he continued, letting go of Miss Gwilt and offering his arm to the oldest lady among the visitors. “Shattered nerves—home stress,” he whispered confidentially. “Sweet woman! Such a sad case!” He sighed softly and guided the elderly lady across the hall.
The flock of visitors followed, Miss Gwilt accompanying them in silence, and walking alone—among them, but not of them—the last of all.
The group of visitors followed, with Miss Gwilt walking silently among them, alone—part of the crowd, but not truly one of them—the last to follow.
“The grounds, ladies and gentlemen,” said the doctor, wheeling round, and addressing his audience from the foot of the stairs, “are, as you have seen, in a partially unfinished condition. Under any circumstances, I should lay little stress on the grounds, having Hampstead Heath so near at hand, and carriage exercise and horse exercise being parts of my System. In a lesser degree, it is also necessary for me to ask your indulgence for the basement floor, on which we now stand. The waiting-room and study on that side, and the Dispensary on the other (to which I shall presently ask your attention), are completed. But the large drawing-room is still in the decorator’s hands. In that room (when the walls are dry—not a moment before) my inmates will assemble for cheerful society. Nothing will be spared that can improve, elevate, and adorn life at these happy little gatherings. Every evening, for example, there will be music for those who like it.”
“The grounds, everyone,” said the doctor, turning around and addressing his audience from the bottom of the stairs, “are, as you’ve seen, still partially unfinished. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t emphasize the grounds too much, especially with Hampstead Heath so nearby, along with carriage rides and horseback riding being part of my approach. To a lesser extent, I also need to ask for your understanding regarding the basement floor we’re standing on. The waiting room and study over there, and the Dispensary on the other side (which I’ll ask you to focus on shortly), are finished. However, the large drawing room is still being worked on by the decorators. In that room (when the walls are dry—not a moment before) my residents will gather for enjoyable company. We’ll spare no effort to enhance, uplift, and beautify life at these delightful little gatherings. For instance, every evening, there will be music for those who enjoy it.”
At this point there was a faint stir among the visitors. A mother of a family interrupted the doctor. She begged to know whether music “every evening” included Sunday evening; and, if so, what music was performed?
At this point, there was a slight buzz among the visitors. A mother interrupted the doctor. She asked if music “every evening” included Sunday night, and if it did, what kind of music was played?
“Sacred music, of course, ma’am,” said the doctor. “Handel on Sunday evening—and Haydn occasionally, when not too cheerful. But, as I was about to say, music is not the only entertainment offered to my nervous inmates. Amusing reading is provided for those who prefer books.”
“Sacred music, of course, ma’am,” said the doctor. “Handel on Sunday evening—and Haydn occasionally, when it’s not too cheerful. But, as I was saying, music isn’t the only entertainment available to my anxious patients. There are entertaining books for those who prefer reading.”
There was another stir among the visitors. Another mother of a family wished to know whether amusing reading meant novels.
There was another buzz among the visitors. Another mother of a family wanted to know if fun reading meant novels.
“Only such novels as I have selected and perused myself, in the first instance,” said the doctor. “Nothing painful, ma’am! There may be plenty that is painful in real life; but for that very reason, we don’t want it in books. The English novelist who enters my house (no foreign novelist will be admitted) must understand his art as the healthy-minded English reader understands it in our time. He must know that our purer modern taste, our higher modern morality, limits him to doing exactly two things for us, when he writes us a book. All we want of him is—occasionally to make us laugh; and invariably to make us comfortable.”
“Only the novels that I have chosen and read myself, to begin with,” said the doctor. “Nothing painful, ma’am! There might be plenty painful in real life; but for that reason, we don’t want it in books. The English novelist who steps into my home (no foreign novelist will be allowed) must understand his craft as the healthy-minded English reader does in our time. He must realize that our more refined modern taste, our elevated modern morality, restricts him to doing exactly two things for us when he writes a book. All we want from him is—sometimes to make us laugh; and always to make us comfortable.”
There was a third stir among the visitors—caused plainly this time by approval of the sentiments which they had just heard. The doctor, wisely cautious of disturbing the favorable impression that he had produced, dropped the subject of the drawing-room, and led the way upstairs. As before, the company followed; and, as before, Miss Gwilt walked silently behind them, last of all. One after another the ladies looked at her with the idea of speaking, and saw something in her face, utterly unintelligible to them, which checked the well-meant words on their lips. The prevalent impression was that the Principal of the Sanitarium had been delicately concealing the truth, and that his first inmate was mad.
There was a new buzz among the visitors—clearly this time due to their approval of the sentiments they had just heard. The doctor, wisely careful not to disrupt the positive impression he had made, changed the topic from the drawing-room and led the way upstairs. As before, the group followed; and, as usual, Miss Gwilt walked quietly behind them, coming up last. One by one, the ladies glanced at her with the intention of speaking, only to see something in her expression, completely puzzling to them, that stopped the well-meaning words on their lips. The general feeling was that the Principal of the Sanitarium had been subtly hiding the truth and that his first patient was insane.
The doctor led the way—with intervals of breathing-time accorded to the old lady on his arm—straight to the top of the house. Having collected his visitors in the corridor, and having waved his hand indicatively at the numbered doors opening out of it on either side, he invited the company to look into any or all of the rooms at their own pleasure.
The doctor guided the way—taking breaks to let the elderly woman on his arm catch her breath—straight to the top of the house. Once he gathered his guests in the hallway and gestured towards the numbered doors on either side, he invited them to check out any or all of the rooms whenever they wanted.
“Numbers one to four, ladies and gentlemen,” said the doctor, “include the dormitories of the attendants. Numbers four to eight are rooms intended for the accommodation of the poorer class of patients, whom I receive on terms which simply cover my expenditure—nothing more. In the cases of these poorer persons among my suffering fellow creatures, personal piety and the recommendation of two clergymen are indispensable to admission. Those are the only conditions I make; but those I insist on. Pray observe that the rooms are all ventilated, and the bedsteads all iron and kindly notice, as we descend again to the second floor, that there is a door shutting off all communication between the second story and the top story when necessary. The rooms on the second floor, which we have now reached, are (with the exception of my own room) entirely devoted to the reception of lady-inmates—experience having convinced me that the greater sensitiveness of the female constitution necessitates the higher position of the sleeping apartment, with a view to the greater purity and freer circulation of the air. Here the ladies are established immediately under my care, while my assistant-physician (whom I expect to arrive in a week’s time) looks after the gentlemen on the floor beneath. Observe, again, as we descend to this lower, or first floor, a second door, closing all communication at night between the two stories to every one but the assistant physician and myself. And now that we have reached the gentleman’s part of the house, and that you have observed for yourselves the regulations of the establishment, permit me to introduce you to a specimen of my system of treatment next. I can exemplify it practically, by introducing you to a room fitted up, under my own direction, for the accommodation of the most complicated cases of nervous suffering and nervous delusion that can come under my care.”
“Rooms one to four, everyone,” said the doctor, “are the dormitories for the staff. Rooms four to eight are for the less fortunate patients, whom I accept at rates that just cover my costs—nothing more. For these individuals among my ailing fellow humans, personal faith and the recommendation of two clergymen are required for admission. Those are the only conditions I have; but they are non-negotiable. Please note that all the rooms are well-ventilated, and all the beds are iron. Also, as we go back to the second floor, there is a door that can close off all access between the second and top floors when needed. The rooms on the second floor, which we have now reached, are (except for my own room) completely dedicated to female residents—experience has shown me that the greater sensitivity of women requires a higher placement for their sleeping quarters, ensuring cleaner air and better circulation. Here, the ladies are under my direct care, while my assistant physician (who I expect to arrive in a week) takes care of the gentlemen on the floor below. Notice again, as we move down to the lower, or first floor, a second door that restricts night access between the two floors to just the assistant physician and me. Now that we’ve reached the gentlemen’s section of the house and you’ve seen the rules of the facility, let me show you an example of my treatment method next. I can demonstrate it in practice by introducing you to a room set up under my direction for the most complex cases of nervous distress and delusion that come under my care.”
He threw open the door of a room at one extremity of the corridor, numbered Four. “Look in, ladies and gentlemen,” he said; “and, if you see anything remarkable, pray mention it.”
He swung open the door to a room at one end of the corridor, numbered Four. “Take a look, everyone,” he said; “and if you notice anything interesting, please let us know.”
The room was not very large, but it was well lit by one broad window. Comfortably furnished as a bedroom, it was only remarkable among other rooms of the same sort in one way. It had no fireplace. The visitors having noticed this, were informed that the room was warmed in winter by means of hot water; and were then invited back again into the corridor, to make the discoveries, under professional direction, which they were unable to make for themselves.
The room wasn't very big, but it was bright thanks to a wide window. Furnished comfortably as a bedroom, it only stood out from other similar rooms in one way. It didn’t have a fireplace. When the visitors saw this, they were told that the room was heated in winter with hot water; then they were invited back into the hallway to explore, guided by a professional, what they couldn’t figure out on their own.
“A word, ladies and gentlemen,” said the doctor; “literally a word, on nervous derangement first. What is the process of treatment, when, let us say, mental anxiety has broken you down, and you apply to your doctor? He sees you, hears you, and gives you two prescriptions. One is written on paper, and made up at the chemist’s. The other is administered by word of mouth, at the propitious moment when the fee is ready; and consists in a general recommendation to you to keep your mind easy. That excellent advice given, your doctor leaves you to spare yourself all earthly annoyances by your own unaided efforts, until he calls again. Here my System steps in and helps you! When I see the necessity of keeping your mind easy, I take the bull by the horns and do it for you. I place you in a sphere of action in which the ten thousand trifles which must, and do, irritate nervous people at home are expressly considered and provided against. I throw up impregnable moral intrenchments between Worry and You. Find a door banging in this house, if you can! Catch a servant in this house rattling the tea-things when he takes away the tray! Discover barking dogs, crowing cocks, hammering workmen, screeching children here—and I engage to close My Sanitarium to-morrow! Are these nuisances laughing matters to nervous people? Ask them! Can they escape these nuisances at home? Ask them! Will ten minutes’ irritation from a barking dog or a screeching child undo every atom of good done to a nervous sufferer by a month’s medical treatment? There isn’t a competent doctor in England who will venture to deny it! On those plain grounds my System is based. I assert the medical treatment of nervous suffering to be entirely subsidiary to the moral treatment of it. That moral treatment of it you find here. That moral treatment, sedulously pursued throughout the day, follows the sufferer into his room at night; and soothes, helps and cures him, without his own knowledge—you shall see how.”
“A moment, everyone,” the doctor said; “just a moment, to talk about nervous issues first. What happens when mental stress has worn you out, and you go to see your doctor? He examines you, listens to you, and gives you two prescriptions. One is written on paper and made up at the pharmacy. The other is spoken to you at just the right moment when it's time for payment, and it involves a general suggestion for you to relax your mind. After giving that great advice, your doctor leaves you to manage all your worries on your own until he visits again. This is where my System comes in to help you! When I recognize that you need to relax your mind, I take charge and do it for you. I put you in an environment where the countless little things that typically irritate nervous people at home are thoughtfully addressed and managed. I create strong defenses between Worry and You. Try to find a door slamming in this place! Try to catch a staff member here making noise with the dishes while clearing the table! Try to spot barking dogs, crowing roosters, hammering workers, or noisy kids here—and I promise to close My Sanitarium tomorrow! Are these annoyances something to joke about for nervous individuals? Ask them! Can they escape these nuisances at home? Ask them! Will ten minutes of frustration from a barking dog or a screaming child undo every bit of benefit that a month’s worth of medical treatment has provided to someone suffering from nervous issues? There isn’t a qualified doctor in England who would dare to say otherwise! My System is built on these straightforward principles. I claim that the medical treatment for nervous suffering is entirely secondary to its moral treatment. You will find that moral treatment here. This moral treatment, consistently applied throughout the day, accompanies the sufferer into their room at night; it soothes, supports, and heals them, often without their awareness—you will see how.”
The doctor paused to take breath and looked, for the first time since the visitors had entered the house, at Miss Gwilt. For the first time, on her side, she stepped forward among the audience, and looked at him in return. After a momentary obstruction in the shape of a cough, the doctor went on.
The doctor stopped to catch his breath and finally looked at Miss Gwilt, for the first time since the visitors had entered the house. She stepped forward from the group and met his gaze. After a brief cough interrupted the moment, the doctor continued.
“Say, ladies and gentlemen,” he proceeded, “that my patient has just come in. His mind is one mass of nervous fancies and caprices, which his friends (with the best possible intentions) have been ignorantly irritating at home. They have been afraid of him, for instance, at night. They have forced him to have somebody to sleep in the room with him, or they have forbidden him, in case of accidents, to lock his door. He comes to me the first night, and says: ‘Mind, I won’t have anybody in my room!’—‘Certainly not!’—‘I insist on locking my door.’—‘By all means!’ In he goes, and locks his door; and there he is, soothed and quieted, predisposed to confidence, predisposed to sleep, by having his own way. ‘This is all very well,’ you may say; ‘but suppose something happens, suppose he has a fit in the night, what then?’ You shall see! Hallo, my young friend!” cried the doctor, suddenly addressing the sleepy little boy. “Let’s have a game. You shall be the poor sick man, and I’ll be the good doctor. Go into that room and lock the door. There’s a brave boy! Have you locked it? Very good! Do you think I can’t get at you if I like? I wait till you’re asleep—I press this little white button, hidden here in the stencilled pattern of the outer wall—the mortise of the lock inside falls back silently against the door-post—and I walk into the room whenever I like. The same plan is pursued with the window. My capricious patient won’t open it at night, when he ought. I humor him again. ‘Shut it, dear sir, by all means!’ As soon as he is asleep, I pull the black handle hidden here, in the corner of the wall. The window of the room inside noiselessly opens, as you see. Say the patient’s caprice is the other way—he persists in opening the window when he ought to shut it. Let him! by all means, let him! I pull a second handle when he is snug in his bed, and the window noiselessly closes in a moment. Nothing to irritate him, ladies and gentlemen—absolutely nothing to irritate him! But I haven’t done with him yet. Epidemic disease, in spite of all my precautions, may enter this Sanitarium, and may render the purifying of the sick-room necessary. Or the patient’s case may be complicated by other than nervous malady—say, for instance, asthmatic difficulty of breathing. In the one case, fumigation is necessary; in the other, additional oxygen in the air will give relief. The epidemic nervous patient says, ‘I won’t be smoked under my own nose!’ The asthmatic nervous patient gasps with terror at the idea of a chemical explosion in his room. I noiselessly fumigate one of them; I noiselessly oxygenize the other, by means of a simple Apparatus fixed outside in the corner here. It is protected by this wooden casing; it is locked with my own key; and it communicates by means of a tube with the interior of the room. Look at it!”
“Listen up, everyone,” he continued, “my patient has just arrived. His mind is a jumble of nervous thoughts and whims that his friends (with the best intentions) have been unknowingly making worse at home. For example, they’ve been scared of him at night. They’ve forced him to have someone stay in the room with him, or they’ve told him he can’t lock his door in case of emergencies. On his first night here, he tells me: ‘Just so you know, I don’t want anyone in my room!’—‘Of course not!’—‘I want to lock my door.’—‘Absolutely!’ In he goes and locks his door; and there he is, calmed and reassured, ready to trust me and get some sleep, just because he’s allowed to do things his way. ‘This is all good,’ you might say; ‘but what if something happens? What if he has a seizure at night, then what?’ You’ll see! Hey there, my young friend!” the doctor suddenly called to the sleepy little boy. “Let’s play a game. You’ll be the sick man, and I’ll be the good doctor. Go into that room and lock the door. That’s a brave boy! Did you lock it? Great! Do you think I can’t get to you if I want to? I’ll wait until you’re asleep—I press this little white button, hidden in the design of the outer wall—the lock slides open silently—and I can walk into your room whenever I want. The same trick works with the window. My pickier patient won’t open it at night when he should. I indulge him again. ‘Close it, please!’ As soon as he’s asleep, I pull the black handle hidden in the corner of the wall. The room’s window opens silently, as you can see. If the patient prefers to open the window when he should shut it, let him! Go right ahead! I pull a second handle when he’s snug in bed, and the window quietly closes in an instant. Nothing to upset him, folks—absolutely nothing to upset him! But I’m not done with him yet. An infectious disease could slip into this Sanitarium despite my precautions and make cleaning the sick room necessary. Or the patient’s situation might be complicated by something besides a nervous condition—like, for example, breathing issues from asthma. In one case, fumigation is needed; in the other, extra oxygen in the air will help. The anxious patient says, ‘I won’t let you smoke in my face!’ The asthmatic patient panics at the thought of a chemical explosion in his room. I quietly fumigate one of them; I quietly enrich the air with oxygen for the other, using a simple device fixed outside in the corner here. It’s protected by this wooden cover; it’s locked with my own key; and it connects to the room’s interior through a tube. Check it out!”
With a preliminary glance at Miss Gwilt, the doctor unlocked the lid of the wooden casing, and disclosed inside nothing more remarkable than a large stone jar, having a glass funnel, and a pipe communicating with the wall, inserted in the cork which closed the mouth of it. With another look at Miss Gwilt, the doctor locked the lid again, and asked, in the blandest manner, whether his System was intelligible now?
With a quick look at Miss Gwilt, the doctor opened the lid of the wooden box and revealed nothing more remarkable than a large stone jar with a glass funnel and a pipe attached to the wall, which was inserted in the cork sealing the top. After another glance at Miss Gwilt, the doctor closed the lid again and asked, in the nicest way, if his System made sense now.
“I might introduce you to all sorts of other contrivances of the same kind,” he resumed, leading the way downstairs; “but it would be only the same thing over and over again. A nervous patient who always has his own way is a nervous patient who is never worried; and a nervous patient who is never worried is a nervous patient cured. There it is in a nutshell! Come and see the Dispensary, ladies; the Dispensary and the kitchen next!”
“I could show you a bunch of other gadgets just like this,” he continued, heading downstairs. “But it would just be more of the same thing. A nervous patient who always gets to do things his way is a nervous patient who isn’t anxious; and a nervous patient who isn’t anxious is a nervous patient who has been cured. That’s the essence of it! Come and check out the Dispensary, ladies; the Dispensary and then the kitchen next!”
Once more, Miss Gwilt dropped behind the visitors, and waited alone—looking steadfastly at the Room which the doctor had opened, and at the apparatus which the doctor had unlocked. Again, without a word passing between them, she had understood him. She knew, as well as if he had confessed it, that he was craftily putting the necessary temptation in her way, before witnesses who could speak to the superficially innocent acts which they had seen, if anything serious happened. The apparatus, originally constructed to serve the purpose of the doctor’s medical crotchets, was evidently to be put to some other use, of which the doctor himself had probably never dreamed till now. And the chances were that, before the day was over, that other use would be privately revealed to her at the right moment, in the presence of the right witness. “Armadale will die this time,” she said to herself, as she went slowly down the stairs. “The doctor will kill him, by my hands.”
Once again, Miss Gwilt fell behind the visitors and waited alone—staring intently at the room the doctor had opened and the equipment he had unlocked. Once more, without a word exchanged, she understood him. She knew, just as if he had admitted it, that he was sneakily placing the necessary temptation in her path, with witnesses who could testify to the seemingly innocent actions they had witnessed if anything serious occurred. The equipment, originally designed for the doctor's medical quirks, was clearly going to be used for something else, which the doctor himself probably hadn’t even thought of until now. And the chances were that, by the end of the day, that other purpose would be discreetly revealed to her at the right moment, in front of the right witness. “Armadale will die this time,” she told herself as she slowly walked down the stairs. “The doctor will kill him, by my hands.”
The visitors were in the Dispensary when she joined them. All the ladies were admiring the beauty of the antique cabinet; and, as a necessary consequence, all the ladies were desirous of seeing what was inside. The doctor—after a preliminary look at Miss Gwilt—good-humoredly shook his head. “There is nothing to interest you inside,” he said. “Nothing but rows of little shabby bottles containing the poisons used in medicine which I keep under lock and key. Come to the kitchen, ladies, and honor me with your advice on domestic matters below stairs.” He glanced again at Miss Gwilt as the company crossed the hall, with a look which said plainly, “Wait here.”
The visitors were in the Dispensary when she joined them. All the women were admiring the beauty of the antique cabinet, and naturally, they all wanted to see what was inside. The doctor, after taking a quick look at Miss Gwilt, chuckled and shook his head. “There’s nothing interesting in there,” he said. “Just rows of old, shabby bottles containing the poisons used in medicine that I keep locked away. Come to the kitchen, ladies, and please share your thoughts on household matters downstairs.” He glanced again at Miss Gwilt as the group crossed the hall, with a look that clearly said, “Stay here.”
In another quarter of an hour the doctor had expounded his views on cookery and diet, and the visitors (duly furnished with prospectuses) were taking leave of him at the door. “Quite an intellectual treat!” they said to each other, as they streamed out again in neatly dressed procession through the iron gates. “And what a very superior man!”
In another fifteen minutes, the doctor had shared his ideas on cooking and diet, and the guests (armed with brochures) were saying their goodbyes at the door. “What an intellectual experience!” they remarked to each other as they walked out in an orderly line through the iron gates. “And what a truly impressive man!”
The doctor turned back to the Dispensary, humming absently to himself, and failing entirely to observe the corner of the hall in which Miss Gwilt stood retired. After an instant’s hesitation, she followed him. The assistant was in the room when she entered it—summoned by his employer the moment before.
The doctor turned back to the Dispensary, humming to himself and completely missing the corner of the hall where Miss Gwilt was standing quietly. After a brief moment of hesitation, she followed him in. The assistant was in the room when she walked in—called in by his boss just before.
“Doctor,” she said, coldly and mechanically, as if she was repeating a lesson, “I am as curious as the other ladies about that pretty cabinet of yours. Now they are all gone, won’t you show the inside of it to me?”
“Doctor,” she said, in a cold and robotic tone, as if she were reciting a lesson, “I’m just as curious as the other ladies about that lovely cabinet of yours. Now that they’re all gone, won’t you show me what’s inside it?”
The doctor laughed in his pleasantest manner.
The doctor laughed in his friendliest way.
“The old story,” he said. “Blue-Beard’s locked chamber, and female curiosity! (Don’t go, Benjamin, don’t go.) My dear lady, what interest can you possibly have in looking at a medical bottle, simply because it happens to be a bottle of poison?”
“The old story,” he said. “Blue-Beard’s locked room, and women’s curiosity! (Don’t go, Benjamin, don’t go.) My dear lady, what could you possibly find interesting about a medical bottle, just because it’s a bottle of poison?”
She repeated her lesson for the second time.
She went over her lesson for the second time.
“I have the interest of looking at it,” she said, “and of thinking, if it got into some people’s hands, of the terrible things it might do.”
“I have a curiosity about it,” she said, “and I think about the awful things it could do if it fell into the wrong hands.”
The doctor glanced at his assistant with a compassionate smile.
The doctor looked at his assistant with a kind smile.
“Curious, Benjamin,” he said, “the romantic view taken of these drugs of ours by the unscientific mind! My dear lady,” he added, turning to Miss Gwilt, “if that is the interest you attach to looking at poisons, you needn’t ask me to unlock my cabinet—you need only look about you round the shelves of this room. There are all sorts of medical liquids and substances in those bottles—most innocent, most useful in themselves—which, in combination with other substances and other liquids, become poisons as terrible and as deadly as any that I have in my cabinet under lock and key.”
“It's interesting, Benjamin,” he said, “the romantic perspective on these drugs from those who aren't scientific! My dear lady,” he added, turning to Miss Gwilt, “if that is the fascination you have with looking at poisons, you don't need to ask me to open my cabinet—you just need to look around at the shelves in this room. There are all sorts of medical liquids and substances in those bottles—most harmless, most beneficial on their own—which, when mixed with other substances and liquids, can become poisons as dangerous and deadly as any that I have locked away in my cabinet.”
She looked at him for a moment, and creased to the opposite side of the room.
She glanced at him for a moment and then turned to the other side of the room.
“Show me one,” she said,
“Show me one,” she said.
Still smiling as good-humoredly as ever, the doctor humored his nervous patient. He pointed to the bottle from which he had privately removed the yellow liquid on the previous day, and which he had filled up again with a carefully-colored imitation in the shape of a mixture of his own.
Still smiling as cheerfully as ever, the doctor put his anxious patient at ease. He pointed to the bottle from which he had secretly taken the yellow liquid the day before and which he had refilled with a carefully-colored imitation that looked like a mixture of his own.
“Do you see that bottle,” he said—“that plump, round, comfortable-looking bottle? Never mind the name of what is beside it; let us stick to the bottle, and distinguish it, if you like, by giving it a name of our own. Suppose we call it ‘our Stout Friend’? Very good. Our Stout Friend, by himself, is a most harmless and useful medicine. He is freely dispensed every day to tens of thousands of patients all over the civilized world. He has made no romantic appearances in courts of law; he has excited no breathless interest in novels; he has played no terrifying part on the stage. There he is, an innocent, inoffensive creature, who troubles nobody with the responsibility of locking him up! But bring him into contact with something else—introduce him to the acquaintance of a certain common mineral substance, of a universally accessible kind, broken into fragments; provide yourself with (say) six doses of our Stout Friend, and pour those doses consecutively on the fragments I have mentioned, at intervals of not less than five minutes. Quantities of little bubbles will rise at every pouring; collect the gas in those bubbles, and convey it into a closed chamber—and let Samson himself be in that closed chamber; our stout Friend will kill him in half an hour! Will kill him slowly, without his seeing anything, without his smelling anything, without his feeling anything but sleepiness. Will kill him, and tell the whole College of Surgeons nothing, if they examine him after death, but that he died of apoplexy or congestion of the lungs! What do you think of that, my dear lady, in the way of mystery and romance? Is our harmless Stout Friend as interesting now as if he rejoiced in the terrible popular fame of the Arsenic and the Strychnine which I keep locked up there? Don’t suppose I am exaggerating! Don’t suppose I’m inventing a story to put you off with, as the children say. Ask Benjamin there,” said the doctor, appealing to his assistant, with his eyes fixed on Miss Gwilt. “Ask Benjamin,” he repeated, with the steadiest emphasis on the next words, “if six doses from that bottle, at intervals of five minutes each, would not, under the conditions I have stated, produce the results I have described?”
“Do you see that bottle?” he said—“that plump, round, comfortable-looking bottle? Never mind what’s next to it; let’s focus on the bottle and give it a name if you want. Let’s call it ‘our Stout Friend’? Great. Our Stout Friend, on its own, is a harmless and useful medicine. It’s given out every day to thousands of patients all over the civilized world. It hasn’t made any dramatic appearances in courts; it hasn’t sparked excitement in novels; it hasn’t played any scary roles on stage. There it is, an innocent, inoffensive thing, with no one worrying about locking it up! But if you mix it with something else—introduce it to a common mineral substance, which is easily available and broken into pieces; take (let’s say) six doses of our Stout Friend and pour those doses one after the other on the mentioned fragments, waiting at least five minutes between each. Bubbles will rise each time you pour; collect the gas from those bubbles in a closed space—and let Samson himself be in that closed space; our Stout Friend will kill him in half an hour! It will kill him slowly, without him seeing anything, smelling anything, or feeling anything except sleepiness. It will kill him and tell the whole College of Surgeons nothing but that he died of a stroke or lung congestion! What do you think of that, my dear lady, in terms of mystery and romance? Is our harmless Stout Friend as interesting now as if it had the notorious fame of the Arsenic and Strychnine I keep locked up there? Don’t think I’m exaggerating! Don’t think I’m making up a story to intrigue you, like kids do. Ask Benjamin there,” said the doctor, looking at his assistant, his gaze fixed on Miss Gwilt. “Ask Benjamin,” he repeated, emphasizing the next words, “if six doses from that bottle, spaced five minutes apart, wouldn’t, under the conditions I’ve mentioned, produce the results I’ve described?”
The Resident Dispenser, modestly admiring Miss Gwilt at a distance, started and colored up. He was plainly gratified by the little attention which had included him in the conversation.
The Resident Dispenser, quietly admiring Miss Gwilt from afar, jolted and blushed. He was clearly pleased by the small recognition that had brought him into the conversation.
“The doctor is quite right, ma’am,” he said, addressing Miss Gwilt, with his best bow; “the production of the gas, extended over half an hour, would be quite gradual enough. And,” added the Dispenser, silently appealing to his employer to let him exhibit a little chemical knowledge on his own account, “the volume of the gas would be sufficient at the end of the time—if I am not mistaken, sir?—to be fatal to any person entering the room in less than five minutes.”
“The doctor is absolutely correct, ma’am,” he said, bowing politely to Miss Gwilt; “the gas production, stretched over half an hour, would be slow enough. And,” added the Dispenser, quietly hoping his employer would allow him to show off a bit of his chemistry knowledge, “the amount of gas would be enough by the end of that time—if I’m not mistaken, sir?—to be lethal to anyone entering the room in under five minutes.”
“Unquestionably, Benjamin,” rejoined the doctor. “But I think we have had enough of chemistry for the present,” he added, turning to Miss Gwilt. “With every desire, my dear lady, to gratify every passing wish you may form, I venture to propose trying a more cheerful subject. Suppose we leave the Dispensary, before it suggests any more inquiries to that active mind of yours? No? You want to see an experiment? You want to see how the little bubbles are made? Well, well! there is no harm in that. We will let Mrs. Armadale see the bubbles,” continued the doctor, in the tone of a parent humoring a spoiled child. “Try if you can find a few of those fragments that we want, Benjamin. I dare say the workmen (slovenly fellows!) have left something of the sort about the house or the grounds.”
“Absolutely, Benjamin,” the doctor replied. “But I think we've had enough chemistry for now,” he added, turning to Miss Gwilt. “I truly want to fulfill every little wish you might have, but I suggest we try a more uplifting topic. How about we leave the Dispensary before it sparks any more questions from that inquisitive mind of yours? No? You want to see an experiment? You want to see how those little bubbles are formed? Alright then! That’s not a problem. We'll let Mrs. Armadale see the bubbles,” the doctor continued, in a tone like a parent indulging a spoiled child. “See if you can find a few of those bits we need, Benjamin. I'm sure the workers (those careless guys!) have left something like that around the house or the grounds.”
The Resident Dispenser left the room.
The Resident Dispenser walked out of the room.
As soon as his back was turned, the doctor began opening and shutting drawers in various parts of the Dispensary, with the air of a man who wants something in a hurry, and does not know where to find it. “Bless my soul!” he exclaimed, suddenly stopping at the drawer from which he had taken his cards of invitation on the previous day, “what’s this? A key? A duplicate key, as I’m alive, of my fumigating apparatus upstairs! Oh dear, dear, how careless I get,” said the doctor, turning round briskly to Miss Gwilt. “I hadn’t the least idea that I possessed this second key. I should never have missed it. I do assure you I should never have missed it if anybody had taken it out of the drawer!” He bustled away to the other end of the room—without closing the drawer, and without taking away the duplicate key.
As soon as the doctor turned his back, he started rummaging through the drawers in different parts of the Dispensary, looking like someone who needs something quickly but can't find it. “Wow!” he exclaimed, suddenly stopping at the drawer where he had taken his invitation cards the day before. “What’s this? A key? A duplicate key, I can't believe it, for my fumigating machine upstairs! Oh dear, I can be so forgetful,” the doctor said, quickly turning to Miss Gwilt. “I had no idea I had this extra key. I should never have missed it. I really wouldn’t have noticed if someone had taken it out of the drawer!” He hurried to the other end of the room—leaving the drawer open and the duplicate key behind.
In silence, Miss Gwilt listened till he had done. In silence, she glided to the drawer. In silence, she took the key and hid it in her apron pocket.
In silence, Miss Gwilt listened until he finished. In silence, she moved to the drawer. In silence, she took the key and tucked it into her apron pocket.
The Dispenser came back, with the fragments required of him, collected in a basin. “Thank you, Benjamin,” said the doctor. “Kindly cover them with water, while I get the bottle down.”
The Dispenser returned with the pieces he needed, gathered in a bowl. “Thanks, Benjamin,” said the doctor. “Please cover them with water while I get the bottle down.”
As accidents sometimes happen in the most perfectly regulated families, so clumsiness sometimes possesses itself of the most perfectly disciplined hands. In the process of its transfer from the shelf to the doctor, the bottle slipped and fell smashed to pieces on the floor.
As accidents can happen in even the most well-organized families, clumsiness can also take over the most skilled hands. While being moved from the shelf to the doctor, the bottle slipped and shattered on the floor.
“Oh, my fingers and thumbs!” cried the doctor, with an air of comic vexation, “what in the world do you mean by playing me such a wicked trick as that? Well, well, well—it can’t be helped. Have we got any more of it, Benjamin?”
“Oh, my fingers and thumbs!” the doctor exclaimed, feigning annoyance, “what on earth do you mean by pulling such a cruel prank on me? Well, well, well—it can’t be changed now. Do we have any more of it, Benjamin?”
“Not a drop, sir.”
"Not a drop, sir."
“Not a drop!” echoed the doctor. “My dear madam, what excuses can I offer you? My clumsiness has made our little experiment impossible for to-day. Remind me to order some more to-morrow, Benjamin, and don’t think of troubling yourself to put that mess to rights. I’ll send the man here to mop it all up. Our Stout Friend is harmless enough now, my dear lady—in combination with a boarded floor and a coming mop! I’m so sorry; I really am so sorry to have disappointed you.” With those soothing words, he offered his arm, and led Miss Gwilt out of the Dispensary.
“Not a drop!” the doctor exclaimed. “My dear madam, what can I say? My clumsiness has ruined our little experiment for today. Please remind me to order some more tomorrow, Benjamin, and don’t worry about cleaning up that mess. I’ll have someone come in to take care of it. Our stout friend is harmless enough now, my dear lady—especially with a wooden floor and a mop on the way! I truly apologize; I’m really sorry for disappointing you.” With those comforting words, he offered his arm and led Miss Gwilt out of the dispensary.
“Have you done with me for the present?” she asked, when they were in the hall.
“Are you done with me for now?” she asked, when they were in the hall.
“Oh, dear, dear, what a way of putting it!” exclaimed the doctor. “Dinner at six,” he added, with his politest emphasis, as she turned from him in disdainful silence, and slowly mounted the stairs to her own room.
“Oh, my, what a way to say that!” the doctor exclaimed. “Dinner at six,” he added, with his most polite tone, as she turned away from him in contemptuous silence and slowly made her way up the stairs to her room.
A clock of the noiseless sort—incapable of offending irritable nerves—was fixed in the wall, above the first-floor landing, at the Sanitarium. At the moment when the hands pointed to a quarter before six, the silence of the lonely upper regions was softly broken by the rustling of Miss Gwilt’s dress. She advanced along the corridor of the first floor—paused at the covered apparatus fixed outside the room numbered Four—listened for a moment—and then unlocked the cover with the duplicate key.
A quiet clock—one that wouldn’t disturb sensitive nerves—was mounted on the wall above the first-floor landing of the Sanitarium. Just as the hands pointed to a quarter to six, the silence of the empty upper floor was gently interrupted by the rustle of Miss Gwilt’s dress. She walked down the first-floor corridor, stopped at the concealed device outside room number Four, listened for a moment, and then unlocked the cover with a duplicate key.
The open lid cast a shadow over the inside of the casing. All she saw at first was what she had seen already—the jar, and the pipe and glass funnel inserted in the cork. She removed the funnel; and, looking about her, observed on the window-sill close by a wax-tipped wand used for lighting the gas. She took the wand, and, introducing it through the aperture occupied by the funnel, moved it to and fro in the jar. The faint splash of some liquid, and the grating noise of certain hard substances which she was stirring about, were the two sounds that caught her ear. She drew out the wand, and cautiously touched the wet left on it with the tip of her tongue. Caution was quite needless in this case. The liquid was—water.
The open lid cast a shadow over the inside of the container. All she saw at first was what she had already seen—the jar, the pipe, and the glass funnel stuck in the cork. She took out the funnel and, looking around, noticed on the window sill nearby a wax-tipped wand used for lighting the gas. She grabbed the wand and, inserting it through the hole where the funnel had been, moved it back and forth in the jar. The faint splash of some liquid and the grinding noise of some hard substances being stirred were the two sounds that caught her attention. She pulled out the wand and carefully touched the dampness left on it with the tip of her tongue. Caution was unnecessary in this case. The liquid was—water.
In putting the funnel back in its place, she noticed something faintly shining in the obscurely lit vacant space at the side of the jar. She drew it out, and produced a Purple Flask. The liquid with which it was filled showed dark through the transparent coloring of the glass; and fastened at regular intervals down one side of the Flask were six thin strips of paper, which divided the contents into six equal parts.
As she was putting the funnel back in its spot, she saw something faintly shining in the dimly lit empty space next to the jar. She pulled it out and revealed a Purple Flask. The liquid inside looked dark through the tinted glass, and attached at regular intervals along one side of the Flask were six thin strips of paper, dividing the contents into six equal sections.
There was no doubt now that the apparatus had been secretly prepared for her—the apparatus of which she alone (besides the doctor) possessed the key.
There was no doubt now that the equipment had been secretly set up for her—the equipment for which only she (besides the doctor) had the key.
She put back the Flask, and locked the cover of the casing. For a moment she stood looking at it, with the key in her hand. On a sudden, her lost color came back. On a sudden, its natural animation returned, for the first time that day, to her face. She turned and hurried breathlessly upstairs to her room on the second floor. With eager hands she snatched her cloak out of the wardrobe, and took her bonnet from the box. “I’m not in prison!” she burst out, impetuously. “I’ve got the use of my limbs! I can go—no matter where, as long as I am out of this house!”
She put the flask away and locked the casing. For a moment, she stood there, holding the key. Suddenly, her lost color returned. For the first time that day, her face lit up with its natural energy. She turned and rushed breathlessly upstairs to her room on the second floor. With eager hands, she grabbed her cloak from the wardrobe and took her bonnet from the box. “I’m not stuck in here!” she exclaimed, impulsively. “I can move! I can go—anywhere, as long as I get out of this house!”
With her cloak on her shoulders, with her bonnet in her hand, she crossed the room to the door. A moment more—and she would have been out in the passage. In that moment the remembrance flashed back on her of the husband whom she had denied to his face. She stopped instantly, and threw the cloak and bonnet from her on the bed. “No!” she said; “the gulf is dug between us—the worst is done!”
With her cloak draped over her shoulders and her bonnet in hand, she walked across the room to the door. Just a moment more—and she would have been out in the hallway. In that moment, the memory of the husband she had rejected came rushing back to her. She stopped immediately and tossed the cloak and bonnet onto the bed. “No!” she said; “the divide is set between us—the worst is done!”
There was a knock at the door. The doctor’s voice outside politely reminded her that it was six o’clock.
There was a knock at the door. The doctor’s voice outside politely reminded her that it was 6 PM.
She opened the door, and stopped him on his way downstairs.
She opened the door and stopped him as he was heading downstairs.
“What time is the train due to-night?” she asked, in a whisper.
“What time is the train arriving tonight?” she asked, in a whisper.
“At ten,” answered the doctor, in a voice which all the world might hear, and welcome.
“At ten,” replied the doctor, in a voice that everyone could hear, and welcome.
“What room is Mr. Armadale to have when he comes?”
“What room will Mr. Armadale have when he arrives?”
“What room would you like him to have?”
“What room do you want him to have?”
“Number Four.”
"Number 4."
The doctor kept up appearances to the very last.
The doctor maintained a façade right until the end.
“Number Four let it be,” he said, graciously. “Provided, of course, that Number Four is unoccupied at the time.”
“Number Four can stay,” he said, kindly. “As long as, of course, Number Four is empty at the time.”
The evening wore on, and the night came.
The evening went on, and night fell.
At a few minutes before ten, Mr. Bashwood was again at his post, once more on the watch for the coming of the tidal train.
At a few minutes before ten, Mr. Bashwood was back at his spot, once again waiting for the arrival of the tidal train.
The inspector on duty, who knew him by sight, and who had personally ascertained that his regular attendance at the terminus implied no designs on the purses and portmanteaus of the passengers, noticed two new circumstances in connection with Mr. Bashwood that night. In the first place, instead of exhibiting his customary cheerfulness, he looked anxious and depressed. In the second place, while he was watching for the train, he was to all appearance being watched in his turn, by a slim, dark, undersized man, who had left his luggage (marked with the name of Midwinter) at the custom-house department the evening before, and who had returned to have it examined about half an hour since.
The inspector on duty, who recognized him, and who had confirmed that his regular presence at the station didn’t indicate any intention to steal from the passengers, noticed two new things about Mr. Bashwood that night. First, instead of his usual cheerfulness, he appeared anxious and down. Second, while he was waiting for the train, it seemed like a slim, dark, shorter man was watching him in return. This man had left his luggage (labeled with the name Midwinter) at the customs department the night before and had come back to have it checked about half an hour ago.
What had brought Midwinter to the terminus? And why was he, too, waiting for the tidal train?
What had brought Midwinter to the station? And why was he also waiting for the tidal train?
After straying as far as Hendon during his lonely walk of the previous night, he had taken refuge at the village inn, and had fallen asleep (from sheer exhaustion) toward those later hours of the morning which were the hours that his wife’s foresight had turned to account. When he returned to the lodging, the landlady could only inform him that her tenant had settled everything with her, and had left (for what destination neither she nor her servant could tell) more than two hours since.
After wandering all the way to Hendon during his lonely walk the night before, he had found a place to stay at the village inn and had fallen asleep (out of sheer exhaustion) during the later hours of the morning, which were the times his wife had cleverly managed. When he got back to the lodging, the landlady could only tell him that her tenant had sorted everything out with her and had left (where he went, neither she nor her servant could say) more than two hours ago.
Having given some little time to inquiries, the result of which convinced him that the clew was lost so far, Midwinter had quitted the house, and had pursued his way mechanically to the busier and more central parts of the metropolis. With the light now thrown on his wife’s character, to call at the address she had given him as the address at which her mother lived would be plainly useless. He went on through the streets, resolute to discover her, and trying vainly to see the means to his end, till the sense of fatigue forced itself on him once more. Stopping to rest and recruit his strength at the first hotel he came to, a chance dispute between the waiter and a stranger about a lost portmanteau reminded him of his own luggage, left at the terminus, and instantly took his mind back to the circumstances under which he and Mr. Bashwood had met. In a moment more, the idea that he had been vainly seeking on his way through the streets flashed on him. In a moment more, he had determined to try the chance of finding the steward again on the watch for the person whose arrival he had evidently expected by the previous evening’s train.
After spending some time investigating, which convinced him that he was at a dead end, Midwinter left the house and headed instinctively toward the busier, more central areas of the city. Given what he now understood about his wife's character, visiting the address she had provided for her mother would clearly be pointless. He walked through the streets, determined to find her and struggling to figure out how to achieve that, until fatigue hit him again. He stopped to rest and regain his strength at the first hotel he came across. A random argument between the waiter and a stranger about a lost suitcase reminded him of his own luggage, left at the train station, and immediately brought back memories of how he and Mr. Bashwood had met. Suddenly, the idea he had been unsuccessfully searching for on his way through the streets came to him. In no time, he decided to try the chance of finding the steward again, who was likely still waiting for the person he had clearly expected on the train from the night before.
Ignorant of the report of Allan’s death at sea; uninformed, at the terrible interview with his wife, of the purpose which her assumption of a widow’s dress really had in view, Midwinter’s first vague suspicions of her fidelity had now inevitably developed into the conviction that she was false. He could place but one interpretation on her open disavowal of him, and on her taking the name under which he had secretly married her. Her conduct forced the conclusion on him that she was engaged in some infamous intrigue; and that she had basely secured herself beforehand in the position of all others in which she knew it would be most odious and most repellent to him to claim his authority over her. With that conviction he was now watching Mr. Bashwood, firmly persuaded that his wife’s hiding-place was known to the vile servant of his wife’s vices; and darkly suspecting, as the time wore on, that the unknown man who had wronged him, and the unknown traveler for whose arrival the steward was waiting, were one and the same.
Unaware of the news about Allan’s death at sea and not understanding the real reason behind his wife’s choice to dress as a widow during their painful meeting, Midwinter’s initial vague doubts about her faithfulness had now turned into a firm belief that she was untrue. He could only see one meaning in her open rejection of him and in her using the name under which they had secretly married. Her behavior led him to conclude that she was involved in some disgraceful scheme and that she had intentionally positioned herself in a way that would make it most loathsome and repulsive for him to assert his authority over her. With this belief, he was now keeping an eye on Mr. Bashwood, convinced that his wife’s hiding place was known to that despicable servant of her misconduct; and as time passed, he darkly suspected that the unknown man who had betrayed him and the unknown traveler the steward was waiting for were one and the same.
The train was late that night, and the carriages were more than usually crowded when they arrived at last. Midwinter became involved in the confusion on the platform, and in the effort to extricate himself he lost sight of Mr. Bashwood for the first time.
The train was late that night, and the carriages were more crowded than usual when they finally arrived. Midwinter got caught up in the chaos on the platform, and while trying to get himself out of it, he lost sight of Mr. Bashwood for the first time.
A lapse of some few minutes had passed before he again discovered the steward talking eagerly to a man in a loose shaggy coat, whose back was turned toward him. Forgetful of all the cautions and restraints which he had imposed on himself before the train appeared, Midwinter instantly advanced on them. Mr. Bashwood saw his threatening face as he came on, and fell back in silence. The man in the loose coat turned to look where the steward was looking, and disclosed to Midwinter, in the full light of the station-lamp, Allan’s face!
A few minutes had passed before he saw the steward eagerly talking to a man in a loose, shaggy coat, whose back was turned to him. Forgetting all the warnings and self-control he had practiced before the train arrived, Midwinter immediately approached them. Mr. Bashwood noticed his threatening expression and stepped back in silence. The man in the loose coat turned to see what the steward was looking at, revealing Allan’s face to Midwinter in the bright light of the station lamp!
For the moment they both stood speechless, hand in hand, looking at each other. Allan was the first to recover himself.
For now, they both stood there speechless, holding hands, looking at each other. Allan was the first to regain his composure.
“Thank God for this!” he said, fervently. “I don’t ask how you came here: it’s enough for me that you have come. Miserable news has met me already, Midwinter. Nobody but you can comfort me, and help me to bear it.” His voice faltered over those last words, and he said no more.
“Thank God for this!” he said earnestly. “I won’t ask how you got here: it’s just enough for me that you did. I’ve already received some terrible news, Midwinter. Only you can comfort me and help me deal with it.” His voice broke over those last words, and he said nothing more.
The tone in which he had spoken roused Midwinter to meet the circumstances as they were, by appealing to the old grateful interest in his friend which had once been the foremost interest of his life. He mastered his personal misery for the first time since it had fallen on him, and gently taking Allan aside, asked what had happened.
The way he spoke motivated Midwinter to face the situation as it was, by tapping into the old appreciation he had for his friend, which had once been the most important thing in his life. For the first time since his personal misery began, he overcame it and, gently pulling Allan aside, asked what had happened.
The answer—after informing him of his friend’s reported death at sea—announced (on Mr. Bashwood’s authority) that the news had reached Miss Milroy, and that the deplorable result of the shock thus inflicted had obliged the major to place his daughter in the neighborhood of London, under medical care.
The answer—after telling him about his friend's reported death at sea—stated (based on Mr. Bashwood's information) that Miss Milroy had heard the news, and that the terrible impact of the shock had forced the major to place his daughter near London for medical care.
Before saying a word on his side, Midwinter looked distrustfully behind him. Mr. Bashwood had followed them. Mr. Bashwood was watching to see what they did next.
Before saying a word, Midwinter glanced back suspiciously. Mr. Bashwood was trailing them, observing their next move.
“Was he waiting your arrival here to tell you this about Miss Milroy?” asked Midwinter, looking again from the steward to Allan.
“Was he waiting for you to arrive here to tell you this about Miss Milroy?” asked Midwinter, glancing again from the steward to Allan.
“Yes,” said Allan. “He has been kindly waiting here, night after night, to meet me, and break the news to me.”
“Yes,” said Allan. “He’s been patiently waiting here, night after night, to meet me and share the news.”
Midwinter paused once more. The attempt to reconcile the conclusion he had drawn from his wife’s conduct with the discovery that Allan was the man for whose arrival Mr. Bashwood had been waiting was hopeless. The one present chance of discovering a truer solution of the mystery was to press the steward on the one available point in which he had laid himself open to attack. He had positively denied on the previous evening that he knew anything of Allan’s movements, or that he had any interest in Allan’s return to England. Having detected Mr. Bashwood in one lie told to himself. Midwinter instantly suspected him of telling another to Allan. He seized the opportunity of sifting the statement about Miss Milroy on the spot.
Midwinter paused again. Trying to make sense of the conclusions he had drawn from his wife's behavior and the realization that Allan was the man Mr. Bashwood had been waiting for seemed impossible. His only chance of uncovering a better explanation for the mystery was to confront the steward about the one point where he had made himself vulnerable. The previous evening, he had outright denied knowing anything about Allan's movements or having any interest in Allan's return to England. After catching Mr. Bashwood in one lie aimed at him, Midwinter immediately suspected he was lying again to Allan. He took the opportunity to investigate the claim about Miss Milroy right then and there.
“How have you become acquainted with this sad news?” he inquired, turning suddenly on Mr. Bashwood.
“How did you find out about this sad news?” he asked, suddenly turning to Mr. Bashwood.
“Through the major, of course,” said Allan, before the steward could answer.
“Through the major, of course,” Allan said, before the steward could respond.
“Who is the doctor who has the care of Miss Milroy?” persisted Midwinter, still addressing Mr. Bashwood.
“Who is the doctor taking care of Miss Milroy?” Midwinter continued, still talking to Mr. Bashwood.
For the second time the steward made no reply. For the second time, Allan answered for him.
For the second time, the steward didn’t respond. For the second time, Allan answered for him.
“He is a man with a foreign name,” said Allan. “He keeps a Sanitarium near Hampstead. What did you say the place was called, Mr. Bashwood?”
“He's a guy with a foreign name,” Allan said. “He runs a sanitarium near Hampstead. What did you say the place was called, Mr. Bashwood?”
“Fairweather Vale, sir,” said the steward, answering his employer, as a matter of necessity, but answering very unwillingly.
“Fairweather Vale, sir,” said the steward, responding to his employer out of obligation, but doing so with reluctance.
The address of the Sanitarium instantly reminded Midwinter that he had traced his wife to Fairweather Vale Villas the previous night. He began to see light through the darkness, dimly, for the first time. The instinct which comes with emergency, before the slower process of reason can assert itself, brought him at a leap to the conclusion that Mr. Bashwood—who had been certainly acting under his wife’s influence the previous day—might be acting again under his wife’s influence now. He persisted in sifting the steward’s statement, with the conviction growing firmer and firmer in his mind that the statement was a lie, and that his wife was concerned in it.
The address of the Sanitarium immediately reminded Midwinter that he had tracked down his wife to Fairweather Vale Villas the night before. For the first time, he began to see a glimmer of hope through the darkness. The instinct that kicks in during emergencies, before logic has a chance to take over, led him to quickly conclude that Mr. Bashwood—who had clearly been acting under his wife’s influence the day before—might be influenced by her again now. He kept digging into the steward’s statement, increasingly convinced that it was a lie and that his wife was involved in it.
“Is the major in Norfolk?” he asked, “or is he near his daughter in London?”
“Is the major in Norfolk?” he asked. “Or is he near his daughter in London?”
“In Norfolk,” said Mr. Bashwood. Having answered Allan’s look of inquiry, instead of Midwinter’s spoken question, in those words, he hesitated, looked Midwinter in the face for the first time, and added, suddenly: “I object, if you please, to be cross-examined, sir. I know what I have told Mr. Armadale, and I know no more.”
“In Norfolk,” said Mr. Bashwood. After responding to Allan’s questioning look instead of Midwinter’s direct question, he hesitated, looked Midwinter in the eye for the first time, and suddenly added, “I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t question me further, sir. I know what I’ve told Mr. Armadale, and that’s all I know.”
The words, and the voice in which they were spoken, were alike at variance with Mr. Bashwood’s usual language and Mr. Bashwood’s usual tone. There was a sullen depression in his face—there was a furtive distrust and dislike in his eyes when they looked at Midwinter, which Midwinter himself now noticed for the first time. Before he could answer the steward’s extraordinary outbreak, Allan interfered.
The words and the way they were said were completely different from how Mr. Bashwood usually spoke. His face showed a gloomy sadness, and there was a hidden distrust and dislike in his eyes when he looked at Midwinter, which Midwinter noticed for the first time. Before he could respond to the steward's surprising outburst, Allan stepped in.
“Don’t think me impatient,” he said; “but it’s getting late; it’s a long way to Hampstead. I’m afraid the Sanitarium will be shut up.”
“Don’t think I’m being impatient,” he said; “but it’s getting late; it’s a long way to Hampstead. I’m worried the sanitarium will be closed.”
Midwinter started. “You are not going to the Sanitarium to-night!” he exclaimed.
Midwinter began. “You’re not going to the Sanitarium tonight!” he said.
Allan took his friend’s hand and wrung it hard. “If you were as fond of her as I am,” he whispered, “you would take no rest, you could get no sleep, till you had seen the doctor, and heard the best and the worst he had to tell you. Poor dear little soul! who knows, if she could only see me alive and well—” The tears came into his eyes, and he turned away his head in silence.
Allan took his friend’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “If you cared for her as much as I do,” he whispered, “you wouldn’t rest, you wouldn’t sleep, until you had spoken to the doctor and heard everything he had to say—good and bad. Poor dear little soul! Who knows, if she could just see me alive and well—” Tears filled his eyes, and he turned his head away in silence.
Midwinter looked at the steward. “Stand back,” he said. “I want to speak to Mr. Armadale.” There was something in his eye which it was not safe to trifle with. Mr. Bashwood drew back out of hearing, but not out of sight. Midwinter laid his hand fondly on his friend’s shoulder.
Midwinter looked at the steward. “Step back,” he said. “I want to talk to Mr. Armadale.” There was something in his eye that made it clear not to mess with him. Mr. Bashwood stepped away so he couldn’t hear, but he stayed in sight. Midwinter placed his hand gently on his friend’s shoulder.
“Allan,” he said, “I have reasons—” He stopped. Could the reasons be given before he had fairly realized them himself; at that time, too, and under those circumstances? Impossible! “I have reasons,” he resumed, “for advising you not to believe too readily what Mr. Bashwood may say. Don’t tell him this, but take the warning.”
“Allan,” he said, “I have my reasons—” He paused. Could he explain his reasons before he truly understood them himself; especially right now, and in this situation? Not a chance! “I have reasons,” he continued, “for advising you not to be too quick to believe what Mr. Bashwood says. Don’t let him know this, but just consider the warning.”
Allan looked at his friend in astonishment. “It was you who always liked Mr. Bashwood!” he exclaimed. “It was you who trusted him, when he first came to the great house!”
Allan stared at his friend in shock. “You were the one who always liked Mr. Bashwood!” he exclaimed. “You were the one who trusted him when he first arrived at the big house!”
“Perhaps I was wrong, Allan, and perhaps you were right. Will you only wait till we can telegraph to Major Milroy and get his answer? Will you only wait over the night?”
“Maybe I was wrong, Allan, and maybe you were right. Will you just wait until we can telegram Major Milroy and get his response? Will you wait until tomorrow?”
“I shall go mad if I wait over the night,” said Allan. “You have made me more anxious than I was before. If I am not to speak about it to Bashwood, I must and will go to the Sanitarium, and find out whether she is or is not there, from the doctor himself.”
“I'll go crazy if I wait all night,” said Allan. “You've made me more anxious than I was before. If I'm not supposed to talk to Bashwood about it, I have to go to the Sanitarium and find out from the doctor himself whether she is there or not.”
Midwinter saw that it was useless. In Allan’s interests there was only one other course left to take. “Will you let me go with you?” he asked.
Midwinter realized it was pointless. For Allan's sake, there was only one option left. “Will you let me come with you?” he asked.
Allan’s face brightened for the first time. “You dear, good fellow!” he exclaimed. “It was the very thing I was going to beg of you myself.”
Allan’s face lit up for the first time. “You sweet, kind friend!” he said. “That was exactly what I was going to ask you for myself.”
Midwinter beckoned to the steward. “Mr. Armadale is going to the Sanitarium,” he said, “and I mean to accompany him. Get a cab and come with us.”
Midwinter called to the steward. “Mr. Armadale is heading to the Sanitarium,” he said, “and I'm going with him. Grab a cab and come along.”
He waited, to see whether Mr. Bashwood would comply. Having been strictly ordered, when Allan did arrive, not to lose sight of him, and having, in his own interests, Midwinter’s unexpected appearance to explain to Miss Gwilt, the steward had no choice but to comply. In sullen submission he did as he had been told. The keys of Allan’s baggage was given to the foreign traveling servant whom he had brought with him, and the man was instructed to wait his master’s orders at the terminus hotel. In a minute more the cab was on its way out of the station—with Midwinter and Allan inside, and Mr. Bashwood by the driver on the box.
He waited to see if Mr. Bashwood would follow through. After being told strictly that he shouldn’t lose sight of Allan when he arrived, and considering Midwinter's unexpected appearance that he had to explain to Miss Gwilt, the steward had no choice but to comply. In gloomy resignation, he did as instructed. The keys to Allan’s luggage were handed to the foreign servant he had brought along, and the servant was told to wait for his master's instructions at the hotel. In just a minute, the cab was leaving the station—with Midwinter and Allan inside, and Mr. Bashwood sitting with the driver on the front seat.
Between eleven and twelve o’clock that night, Miss Gwilt, standing alone at the window which lit the corridor of the Sanitarium on the second floor, heard the roll of wheels coming toward her. The sound, gathering rapidly in volume through the silence of the lonely neighborhood, stopped at the iron gates. In another minute she saw the cab draw up beneath her, at the house door.
Between eleven and midnight that night, Miss Gwilt, standing alone at the window that brightened the corridor of the Sanitarium on the second floor, heard the sound of wheels approaching her. The noise, quickly increasing in volume through the quiet of the desolate neighborhood, halted at the iron gates. A moment later, she saw the cab pull up beneath her, at the house door.
The earlier night had been cloudy, but the sky was clearing now and the moon was out. She opened the window to see and hear more clearly. By the light of the moon she saw Allan get out of the cab, and turn round to speak to some other person inside. The answering voice told her, before he appeared in his turn, that Armadale’s companion was her husband.
The previous night had been overcast, but now the sky was clearing and the moon was shining. She opened the window to see and hear better. By the moonlight, she saw Allan get out of the cab and turn around to talk to someone inside. The voice that replied told her, before he showed up, that Armadale’s companion was her husband.
The same petrifying influence that had fallen on her at the interview with him of the previous day fell on her now. She stood by the window, white and still, and haggard and old—as she had stood when she first faced him in her widow’s weeds.
The same paralyzing effect that hit her during her meeting with him the day before was happening again. She stood by the window, pale and motionless, looking worn and aged—just like she did when she first confronted him in her widow's clothes.
Mr. Bashwood, stealing up alone to the second floor to make his report, knew, the instant he set eyes on her, that the report was needless. “It’s not my fault,” was all he said, as she slowly turned her head and looked at him. “They met together, and there was no parting them.”
Mr. Bashwood sneaked up to the second floor alone to make his report and, the moment he saw her, realized the report was unnecessary. “It’s not my fault,” he said, as she slowly turned her head to look at him. “They met up, and there was no separating them.”
She drew a long breath, and motioned him to be silent. “Wait a little,” she said; “I know all about it.”
She took a deep breath and signaled for him to be quiet. “Hold on a second,” she said; “I know everything about it.”
Turning from him at those words, she slowly paced the corridor to its furthest end; turned, and slowly came back to him with frowning brow and drooping head—with all the grace and beauty gone from her, but the inbred grace and beauty in the movement of her limbs.
Turning away from him after those words, she slowly walked down the corridor to its farthest end; turned around, and slowly walked back to him with a furrowed brow and lowered head—with all the grace and beauty faded from her, except for the natural grace and beauty in the way her limbs moved.
“Do you wish to speak to me?” she asked; her mind far away from him, and her eyes looking at him vacantly as she put the question.
“Do you want to talk to me?” she asked, her mind far from him, and her eyes gazing at him blankly as she asked the question.
He roused his courage as he had never roused it in her presence yet.
He gathered his courage like never before in her presence.
“Don’t drive me to despair!” he cried, with a startling abruptness. “Don’t look at me in that way, now I have found it out!”
“Don’t push me to despair!” he shouted, suddenly and with intensity. “Don’t look at me like that, now that I’ve figured it out!”
“What have you found out?” she asked, with a momentary surprise on her face, which faded from it again before he could gather breath enough to go on.
“What did you find out?” she asked, her momentary surprise quickly fading before he could catch his breath to continue.
“Mr. Armadale is not the man who took you away from me,” he answered. “Mr. Midwinter is the man. I found it out in your face yesterday. I see it in your face now. Why did you sign your name ‘Armadale’ when you wrote to me? Why do you call yourself ‘Mrs. Armadale’ still?”
“Mr. Armadale isn’t the guy who took you away from me,” he replied. “Mr. Midwinter is the one. I saw it in your face yesterday. I can see it in your face now. Why did you sign your name ‘Armadale’ when you wrote to me? Why do you still call yourself ‘Mrs. Armadale’?”
He spoke those bold words at long intervals, with an effort to resist her influence over him, pitiable and terrible to see.
He spoke those bold words at long intervals, struggling to resist her influence over him, which was both sad and hard to watch.
She looked at him for the first time with softened eyes. “I wish I had pitied you when we first met,” she said, gently, “as I pity you now.”
She looked at him for the first time with softened eyes. “I wish I had felt sorry for you when we first met,” she said gently, “like I feel sorry for you now.”
He struggled desperately to go on and say the words to her which he had strung himself to the pitch of saying on the drive from the terminus. They were words which hinted darkly at his knowledge of her past life; words which warned her—do what else she might, commit what crimes she pleased—to think twice before she deceived and deserted him again. In those terms he had vowed to himself to address her. He had the phrases picked and chosen; he had the sentences ranged and ordered in his mind; nothing was wanting but to make the one crowning effort of speaking them—and, even now, after all he had said and all he had dared, the effort was more than he could compass! In helpless gratitude, even for so little as her pity, he stood looking at her, and wept the silent, womanish tears that fall from old men’s eyes.
He desperately tried to go on and say the words to her that he had prepared himself to say during the drive from the station. They were words that hinted darkly at his knowledge of her past; words that warned her—no matter what else she did, no matter what crimes she committed—to think twice before she deceived and abandoned him again. In those terms, he had promised himself to speak to her. He had chosen the right phrases; he had arranged the sentences in his mind; all that was left was to make the final effort to say them—and even now, after everything he had said and all he had risked, the effort was more than he could handle! In helpless gratitude, even for something as small as her pity, he stood looking at her and wept the silent, tender tears that fall from old men’s eyes.
She took his hand and spoke to him—with marked forbearance, but without the slightest sign of emotion on her side.
She took his hand and spoke to him—with noticeable restraint, but without a hint of emotion from her side.
“You have waited already at my request,” she said. “Wait till to-morrow, and you will know all. If you trust nothing else that I have told you, you may trust what I tell you now. It will end to-night.”
“You have already waited at my request,” she said. “Wait until tomorrow, and you’ll know everything. If you don’t believe anything else I’ve told you, you can trust what I’m telling you now. It will end tonight.”
As she said the words, the doctor’s step was heard on the stairs. Mr. Bashwood drew back from her, with his heart beating fast in unutterable expectation. “It will end to-night!” he repeated to himself, under his breath, as he moved away toward the far end of the corridor.
As she spoke, the sound of the doctor's footsteps came from the stairs. Mr. Bashwood stepped back from her, his heart racing with indescribable anticipation. "It will end tonight!" he whispered to himself as he walked toward the far end of the corridor.
“Don’t let me disturb you, sir,” said the doctor, cheerfully, as they met. “I have nothing to say to Mrs. Armadale but what you or anybody may hear.”
“Don't let me interrupt you, sir,” the doctor said happily as they met. “I have nothing to say to Mrs. Armadale that you or anyone else can't hear.”
Mr. Bashwood went on, without answering, to the far end of the corridor, still repeating to himself: “It will end to-night!” The doctor, passing him in the opposite direction, joined Miss Gwilt.
Mr. Bashwood continued on, not answering, to the far end of the hallway, still telling himself, “It will end tonight!” The doctor, walking past him in the opposite direction, joined Miss Gwilt.
“You have heard, no doubt,” he began, in his blandest manner and his roundest tones, “that Mr. Armadale has arrived. Permit me to add, my dear lady, that there is not the least reason for any nervous agitation on your part. He has been carefully humored, and he is as quiet and manageable as his best friends could wish. I have informed him that it is impossible to allow him an interview with the young lady to-night; but that he may count on seeing her (with the proper precautions) at the earliest propitious hour, after she is awake to-morrow morning. As there is no hotel near, and as the propitious hour may occur at a moment’s notice, it was clearly incumbent on me, under the peculiar circumstances, to offer him the hospitality of the Sanitarium. He has accepted it with the utmost gratitude; and has thanked me in a most gentlemanly and touching manner for the pains I have taken to set his mind at ease. Perfectly gratifying, perfectly satisfactory, so far! But there has been a little hitch—now happily got over—which I think it right to mention to you before we all retire for the night.”
“You've probably heard,” he started, in his smoothest tone and roundest voice, “that Mr. Armadale has arrived. Let me reassure you, my dear lady, there's absolutely no reason for you to feel nervous. He's been carefully managed, and he's as calm and easygoing as his closest friends could hope for. I've informed him that he can't meet with the young lady tonight; however, he can expect to see her (with the necessary precautions) at the earliest appropriate time tomorrow morning once she’s awake. Since there’s no hotel nearby, and since that appropriate time might come up unexpectedly, I felt it was only right, given the unusual circumstances, to offer him a place to stay at the Sanitarium. He accepted with great gratitude and thanked me in a very gentlemanly and heartfelt way for the efforts I've made to ease his mind. Everything is perfectly fine up to this point! But there was a minor issue—now resolved—that I think I should mention before we all go to bed for the night.”
Having paved the way in those words (and in Mr. Bashwood’s hearing) for the statement which he had previously announced his intention of making, in the event of Allan’s dying in the Sanitarium, the doctor was about to proceed, when his attention was attracted by a sound below like the trying of a door.
Having set the stage with those words (and in Mr. Bashwood’s hearing) for the statement he had previously said he’d make if Allan died in the Sanitarium, the doctor was about to continue when he was distracted by a noise below that sounded like someone trying to open a door.
He instantly descended the stairs, and unlocked the door of communication between the first and second floors, which he had locked behind him on his way up. But the person who had tried the door—if such a person there really had been—was too quick for him. He looked along the corridor, and over the staircase into the hall, and, discovering nothing, returned to Miss Gwilt, after securing the door of communication behind him once more.
He quickly went down the stairs and unlocked the door connecting the first and second floors, which he had locked when he came up. But the person who had tried the door—if there really had been anyone—was too fast for him. He glanced down the hallway and over the staircase into the hall, and finding nothing, went back to Miss Gwilt after locking the connecting door again behind him.
“Pardon me,” he resumed, “I thought I heard something downstairs. With regard to the little hitch that I adverted to just now, permit me to inform you that Mr. Armadale has brought a friend here with him, who bears the strange name of Midwinter. Do you know the gentleman at all?” asked the doctor, with a suspicious anxiety in his eyes, which strangely belied the elaborate indifference of his tone.
“Excuse me,” he continued, “I thought I heard something downstairs. About that little issue I just mentioned, I want to let you know that Mr. Armadale brought a friend with him who's got the unusual name of Midwinter. Do you know this guy at all?” the doctor asked, with a worried look in his eyes that was in sharp contrast to the casual tone he was trying to maintain.
“I know him to be an old friend of Mr. Armadale’s,” she said. “Does he—?” Her voice failed her, and her eyes fell before the doctor’s steady scrutiny. She mastered the momentary weakness, and finished her question. “Does he, too, stay here to-night?”
“I know him to be an old friend of Mr. Armadale’s,” she said. “Does he—?” Her voice trailed off, and her eyes dropped under the doctor’s steady gaze. She overcame the brief moment of uncertainty and completed her question. “Is he also staying here tonight?”
“Mr. Midwinter is a person of coarse manners and suspicious temper,” rejoined the doctor, steadily watching her. “He was rude enough to insist on staying here as soon as Mr. Armadale had accepted my invitation.”
“Mr. Midwinter is someone with rough manners and a suspicious attitude,” replied the doctor, keeping a close eye on her. “He was rude enough to demand to stay here as soon as Mr. Armadale accepted my invitation.”
He paused to note the effect of those words on her. Left utterly in the dark by the caution with which she had avoided mentioning her husband’s assumed name to him at their first interview, the doctor’s distrust of her was necessarily of the vaguest kind. He had heard her voice fail her—he had seen her color change. He suspected her of a mental reservation on the subject of Midwinter—and of nothing more.
He stopped to observe how his words affected her. Completely unaware of the reason she had carefully avoided mentioning her husband’s assumed name during their first meeting, the doctor’s distrust of her was quite vague. He had noticed her voice falter—he had seen her face lose color. He suspected she was holding back something regarding Midwinter—but nothing beyond that.
“Did you permit him to have his way?” she asked. “In your place, I should have shown him the door.”
“Did you let him have his way?” she asked. “If I were you, I would have kicked him out.”
The impenetrable composure of her tone warned the doctor that her self-command was not to be further shaken that night. He resumed the character of Mrs. Armadale’s medical referee on the subject of Mr. Armadale’s mental health.
The unshakeable calm in her voice signaled to the doctor that her self-control wasn't going to be disturbed any further that night. He went back to being Mrs. Armadale’s medical advisor regarding Mr. Armadale’s mental health.
“If I had only had my own feelings to consult,” he said, “I don’t disguise from you that I should (as you say) have shown Mr. Midwinter the door. But on appealing to Mr. Armadale, I found he was himself anxious not to be parted from his friend. Under those circumstances, but one alternative was left—the alternative of humoring him again. The responsibility of thwarting him—to say nothing,” added the doctor, drifting for a moment toward the truth, “of my natural apprehension, with such a temper as his friend’s, of a scandal and disturbance in the house—was not to be thought of for a moment. Mr. Midwinter accordingly remains here for the night; and occupies (I ought to say, insists on occupying) the next room to Mr. Armadale. Advise me, my dear madam, in this emergency,” concluded the doctor, with his loudest emphasis. “What rooms shall we put them in, on the first floor?”
“If I had only my own feelings to rely on,” he said, “I won’t hide from you that I would have shown Mr. Midwinter the door, just like you suggested. But when I asked Mr. Armadale, I found he really didn't want to be separated from his friend. Given that, I had no choice but to go along with him again. The thought of going against him—let alone my natural worry about what might happen with someone like his friend—causing a scene in the house—was not an option at all. So, Mr. Midwinter is staying here for the night and is (I should say, insists on being) in the room next to Mr. Armadale. Please advise me, my dear madam, in this situation,” the doctor concluded, emphasizing his request. “What rooms should we put them in on the first floor?”
“Put Mr. Armadale in Number Four.”
“Put Mr. Armadale in Room Four.”
“And his friend next to him, in Number Three?” said the doctor. “Well! well! well! perhaps they are the most comfortable rooms. I’ll give my orders immediately. Don’t hurry away, Mr. Bashwood,” he called out, cheerfully, as he reached the top of the staircase. “I have left the assistant physician’s key on the window-sill yonder, and Mrs. Armadale can let you out at the staircase door whenever she pleases. Don’t sit up late, Mrs. Armadale! Yours is a nervous system that requires plenty of sleep. ‘Tired nature’s sweet restorer, balmy sleep.’ Grand line! God bless you—good-night!”
“And his friend next to him, in Room Number Three?” asked the doctor. “Well! well! well! Maybe they are the most comfortable rooms. I’ll give my orders right away. Don’t rush off, Mr. Bashwood,” he called out cheerfully as he reached the top of the stairs. “I’ve left the assistant physician’s key on the windowsill over there, and Mrs. Armadale can let you out at the staircase door whenever she likes. Don’t stay up too late, Mrs. Armadale! You have a nervous system that needs plenty of sleep. ‘Tired nature’s sweet restorer, balmy sleep.’ Fantastic line! God bless you—good night!”
Mr. Bashwood came back from the far end of the corridor—still pondering, in unutterable expectation, on what was to come with the night.
Mr. Bashwood returned from the far end of the hallway—still deep in thought, anxiously anticipating what the night would bring.
“Am I to go now?” he asked.
“Am I supposed to go now?” he asked.
“No. You are to stay. I said you should know all if you waited till the morning. Wait here.”
“No. You’re supposed to stay. I told you that you’d learn everything if you waited until morning. Just wait here.”
He hesitated, and looked about him. “The doctor,” he faltered. “I thought the doctor said—”
He hesitated and looked around. “The doctor,” he stammered. “I thought the doctor said—”
“The doctor will interfere with nothing that I do in this house to-night. I tell you to stay. There are empty rooms on the floor above this. Take one of them.”
“Tonight, the doctor isn’t going to interfere with anything I do in this house. I’m telling you to stay. There are empty rooms on the floor above. Take one of them.”
Mr. Bashwood felt the trembling fit coming on him again as he looked at her. “May I ask—?” he began.
Mr. Bashwood felt the tremors coming on him again as he looked at her. “Can I ask—?” he began.
“Ask nothing. I want you.”
"Want nothing. I want you."
“Will you please to tell me—?”
"Can you tell me—?"
“I will tell you nothing till the night is over and the morning has come.”
“I won’t say anything until the night ends and the morning arrives.”
His curiosity conquered his fear. He persisted.
His curiosity overcame his fear. He kept going.
“Is it something dreadful?” he whispered. “Too dreadful to tell me?”
“Is it something terrible?” he whispered. “Too terrible to tell me?”
She stamped her foot with a sudden outbreak of impatience. “Go!” she said, snatching the key of the staircase door from the window-sill. “You do quite right to distrust me—you do quite right to follow me no further in the dark. Go before the house is shut up. I can do without you.” She led the way to the stairs, with the key in one hand, and the candle in the other.
She stamped her foot in frustration. “Go!” she said, grabbing the key to the staircase door from the windowsill. “You’re right to doubt me—you’re right not to come any further with me in the dark. Leave before the house is locked up. I can manage without you.” She headed towards the stairs, holding the key in one hand and the candle in the other.
Mr. Bashwood followed her in silence. No one, knowing what he knew of her earlier life, could have failed to perceive that she was a woman driven to the last extremity, and standing consciously on the brink of a Crime. In the first terror of the discovery, he broke free from the hold she had on him: he thought and acted like a man who had a will of his own again.
Mr. Bashwood followed her quietly. Anyone who knew about her past could clearly see that she was a woman pushed to her limits, fully aware that she was on the edge of committing a crime. In the initial shock of the revelation, he broke free from her grip: he thought and acted like a man who had his own will again.
She put the key in the door, and turned to him before she opened it, with the light of the candle on her face. “Forget me, and forgive me,” she said. “We meet no more.”
She put the key in the door and turned to him before opening it, with the candlelight on her face. “Forget me, and forgive me,” she said. “We'll never meet again.”
She opened the door, and, standing inside it, after he had passed her, gave him her hand. He had resisted her look, he had resisted her words, but the magnetic fascination of her touch conquered him at the final moment. “I can’t leave you!” he said, holding helplessly by the hand she had given him. “What must I do?”
She opened the door and, after he walked past her, she offered him her hand while standing inside. He had resisted her gaze and her words, but the magnetic pull of her touch overwhelmed him in that last moment. “I can’t leave you!” he exclaimed, gripping her hand helplessly. “What should I do?”
“Come and see,” she answered, without allowing him an instant to reflect.
“Come and see,” she replied, not giving him a moment to think.
Closing her hand firmly on his, she led him along the first floor corridor to the room numbered Four. “Notice that room,” she whispered. After a look over the stairs to see that they were alone, she retraced her steps with him to the opposite extremity of the corridor. Here, facing the window which lit the place at the other end, was one little room, with a narrow grating in the higher part of the door, intended for the sleeping apartment of the doctor’s deputy. From the position of this room, the grating commanded a view of the bed-chambers down each side of the corridor, and so enabled the deputy-physician to inform himself of any irregular proceedings on the part of the patients under his care, with little or no chance of being detected in watching them. Miss Gwilt opened the door and led the way into the empty room.
Closing her hand firmly around his, she led him down the first-floor hallway to the room numbered Four. “Check out that room,” she whispered. After she glanced at the stairs to make sure they were alone, she walked back with him to the opposite end of the corridor. Here, facing the window that lit up the place at the other end, was a small room with a narrow grating at the top of the door, meant for the sleeping quarters of the doctor's assistant. From this room, the grating provided a view of the bedrooms on either side of the corridor, allowing the assistant to keep an eye on any unusual activities of the patients in his care, with little risk of being caught watching them. Miss Gwilt opened the door and stepped into the empty room.
“Wait here,” she said, “while I go back upstairs; and lock yourself in, if you like. You will be in the dark, but the gas will be burning in the corridor. Keep at the grating, and make sure that Mr. Armadale goes into the room I have just pointed out to you, and that he doesn’t leave it afterward. If you lose sight of the room for a single moment before I come back, you will repent it to the end of your life. If you do as I tell you, you shall see me to-morrow, and claim your own reward. Quick with your answer! Is it Yes or No?”
“Wait here,” she said, “while I go back upstairs. Lock yourself in if you want. It’ll be dark, but the gaslight will be on in the hallway. Keep an eye on the grating, and make sure Mr. Armadale goes into the room I just showed you, and that he doesn’t leave it afterward. If you lose sight of that room even for a second before I return, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. If you do what I say, you’ll see me tomorrow and get your reward. Now, what’s your answer? Yes or No?”
He could make no reply in words. He raised her hand to his lips, and kissed it rapturously. She left him in the room. From his place at the grating he saw her glide down the corridor to the staircase door. She passed through it, and locked it. Then there was silence.
He couldn't respond with words. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it passionately. She left him in the room. From where he was at the grating, he watched her glide down the hallway to the staircase door. She went through it and locked it. Then there was silence.
The next sound was the sound of the women-servants’ voices. Two of them came up to put the sheets on the beds in Number Three and Number Four. The women were in high good-humor, laughing and talking to each other through the open doors of the rooms. The master’s customers were coming in at last, they said, with a vengeance; the house would soon begin to look cheerful, if things went on like this.
The next sound was the voices of the female servants. Two of them came in to put the sheets on the beds in Rooms Three and Four. The women were in great spirits, laughing and chatting with each other through the open doors of the rooms. The master's guests were finally arriving, they said, and the place would soon start to feel lively if this kept up.
After a little, the beds were got ready and the women returned to the kitchen floor, on which the sleeping-rooms of the domestic servants were all situated. Then there was silence again.
After a while, the beds were made, and the women went back to the kitchen floor, where the servants' sleeping quarters were located. Then, there was silence once more.
The next sound was the sound of the doctor’s voice. He appeared at the end of the corridor, showing Allan and Midwinter the way to their rooms. They all went together into Number Four. After a little, the doctor came out first. He waited till Midwinter joined him, and pointed with a formal bow to the door of Number Three. Midwinter entered the room without speaking, and shut himself in. The doctor, left alone, withdrew to the staircase door and unlocked it, then waited in the corridor, whistling to himself softly, under his breath.
The next sound was the doctor’s voice. He appeared at the end of the hallway, guiding Allan and Midwinter to their rooms. They all walked into Room Four together. After a little while, the doctor came out first. He waited until Midwinter joined him and gestured with a formal bow toward the door of Room Three. Midwinter went into the room without saying a word and shut the door behind him. The doctor, left alone, went to the staircase door, unlocked it, then waited in the hallway, softly whistling to himself.
Voices pitched cautiously low became audible in a minute more in the hall. The Resident Dispenser and the Head Nurse appeared, on their way to the dormitories of the attendants at the top of the house. The man bowed silently, and passed the doctor; the woman courtesied silently, and followed the man. The doctor acknowledged their salutations by a courteous wave of his hand; and, once more left alone, paused a moment, still whistling softly to himself, then walked to the door of Number Four, and opened the case of the fumigating apparatus fixed near it in the corner of the wall. As he lifted the lid and looked in, his whistling ceased. He took a long purple bottle out, examined it by the gas-light, put it back, and closed the case. This done, he advanced on tiptoe to the open staircase door, passed through it, and secured it on the inner side as usual.
Voices pitched cautiously low became audible in a minute more in the hall. The Resident Dispenser and the Head Nurse appeared, heading to the attendants' dormitories at the top of the house. The man bowed silently and passed the doctor; the woman curtsied silently and followed him. The doctor acknowledged their greetings with a polite wave of his hand, and once again left alone, paused for a moment, still softly whistling to himself, then walked to the door of Number Four and opened the case of the fumigating device fixed near it in the corner of the wall. As he lifted the lid and looked inside, his whistling stopped. He took out a long purple bottle, examined it by the gas light, put it back, and closed the case. Having done that, he tiptoed to the open staircase door, passed through it, and secured it on the inside as usual.
Mr. Bashwood had seen him at the apparatus; Mr. Bashwood had noticed the manner of his withdrawal through the staircase door. Again the sense of an unutterable expectation throbbed at his heart. A terror that was slow and cold and deadly crept into his hands, and guided them in the dark to the key that had been left for him in the inner side of the door. He turned it in vague distrust of what might happen next, and waited.
Mr. Bashwood had seen him at the equipment; Mr. Bashwood had noticed how he left through the staircase door. Again, a deep sense of anticipation throbbed in his chest. A slow, cold, and deadly fear crept into his hands, leading them in the dark to the key that had been left for him on the inside of the door. He turned it with a vague distrust of what might happen next and waited.
The slow minutes passed, and nothing happened. The silence was horrible; the solitude of the lonely corridor was a solitude of invisible treacheries. He began to count to keep his mind employed—to keep his own growing dread away from him. The numbers, as he whispered them, followed each other slowly up to a hundred, and still nothing happened. He had begun the second hundred; he had got on to twenty—when, without a sound to betray that he had been moving in his room, Midwinter suddenly appeared in the corridor.
The minutes dragged on, and nothing happened. The silence was unbearable; the emptiness of the lonely hallway felt full of unseen dangers. He started counting to keep his mind busy and to distract himself from his growing fear. The numbers, as he whispered them, slowly climbed up to a hundred, and still nothing happened. He had started on the second hundred; he had reached twenty—when, without a sound to indicate he had been moving in his room, Midwinter suddenly showed up in the corridor.
He stood for a moment and listened; he went to the stairs and looked over into the hall beneath. Then, for the second time that night, he tried the staircase door, and for the second time found it fast. After a moment’s reflection, he tried the doors of the bedrooms on his right hand next, looked into one after the other, and saw that they were empty, then came to the door of the end room in which the steward was concealed. Here, again, the lock resisted him. He listened, and looked up at the grating. No sound was to be heard, no light was to be seen inside. “Shall I break the door in,” he said to himself, “and make sure? No; it would be giving the doctor an excuse for turning me out of the house.” He moved away, and looked into the two empty rooms in the row occupied by Allan and himself, then walked to the window at the staircase end of the corridor. Here the case of the fumigating apparatus attracted his attention. After trying vainly to open it, his suspicion seemed to be aroused. He searched back along the corridor, and observed that no object of a similar kind appeared outside any of the other bed-chambers. Again at the window, he looked again at the apparatus, and turned away from it with a gesture which plainly indicated that he had tried, and failed, to guess what it might be.
He paused for a moment to listen, then walked over to the stairs and looked down into the hall below. For the second time that night, he tried the staircase door, only to find it locked again. After thinking for a moment, he tested the doors of the bedrooms on his right, peeking into each one and finding them empty, until he reached the door of the last room where the steward was hiding. Once more, the lock wouldn’t budge. He listened and glanced up at the grate. There was no sound and no light visible inside. “Should I just break down the door and check?” he thought to himself. “No; that would give the doctor an excuse to kick me out of the house.” He moved away, glanced into the two empty rooms that he and Allan occupied, and then walked to the window at the end of the staircase. The case for the fumigating equipment caught his eye. After unsuccessfully trying to open it, his suspicion grew. He looked back down the corridor and noticed that no similar object was outside any of the other bedrooms. Back at the window, he looked at the apparatus again, then turned away with a gesture that clearly showed he had tried and failed to figure out what it was.
Baffled at all points, he still showed no sign of returning to his bed-chamber. He stood at the window, with his eyes fixed on the door of Allan’s room, thinking. If Mr. Bashwood, furtively watching him through the grating, could have seen him at that moment in the mind as well as in the body, Mr. Bashwood’s heart might have throbbed even faster than it was throbbing now, in expectation of the next event which Midwinter’s decision of the next minute was to bring forth.
Baffled all around, he still didn't show any sign of going back to his bedroom. He stood at the window, staring at the door of Allan’s room, deep in thought. If Mr. Bashwood, secretly watching him through the grating, could have seen him at that moment both mentally and physically, Mr. Bashwood's heart might have raced even more than it was now, anticipating the next event that Midwinter's decision in the next minute would trigger.
On what was his mind occupied as he stood alone, at the dead of night, in the strange house?
On what was he thinking as he stood alone, in the middle of the night, in the unfamiliar house?
His mind was occupied in drawing its disconnected impressions together, little by little, to one point. Convinced from the first that some hidden danger threatened Allan in the Sanitarium, his distrust—vaguely associated, thus far, with the place itself; with his wife (whom he firmly believed to be now under the same roof with him); with the doctor, who was as plainly in her confidence as Mr. Bashwood himself—now narrowed its range, and centered itself obstinately in Allan’s room. Resigning all further effort to connect his suspicion of a conspiracy against his friend with the outrage which had the day before been offered to himself—an effort which would have led him, if he could have maintained it, to a discovery of the fraud really contemplated by his wife—his mind, clouded and confused by disturbing influences, instinctively took refuge in its impressions of facts as they had shown themselves since he had entered the house. Everything that he had noticed below stairs suggested that there was some secret purpose to be answered by getting Allan to sleep in the Sanitarium. Everything that he had noticed above stairs associated the lurking-place in which the danger lay hid with Allan’s room. To reach this conclusion, and to decide on baffling the conspiracy, whatever it might be, by taking Allan’s place, was with Midwinter the work of an instant. Confronted by actual peril, the great nature of the man intuitively freed itself from the weaknesses that had beset it in happier and safer times. Not even the shadow of the old superstition rested on his mind now—no fatalist suspicion of himself disturbed the steady resolution that was in him. The one last doubt that troubled him, as he stood at the window thinking, was the doubt whether he could persuade Allan to change rooms with him, without involving himself in an explanation which might lead Allan to suspect the truth.
His mind was busy trying to piece together its scattered thoughts gradually into one clear idea. From the beginning, he was convinced that some hidden threat loomed over Allan in the Sanitarium. His suspicion—only vaguely tied to the place itself; to his wife (whom he firmly believed was now under the same roof as him); and to the doctor, who was clearly in on her secret along with Mr. Bashwood—now focused intensely on Allan’s room. He gave up trying to link his suspicions of a conspiracy against his friend to the incident he experienced the day before—an effort that would have led him, if he could have held on to it, to uncover the deceit his wife intended. His mind, clouded and confused by unsettling influences, instinctively found refuge in the realities he had noticed since entering the house. Everything he observed downstairs suggested there was a hidden agenda behind getting Allan to sleep in the Sanitarium. Everything he noticed upstairs connected the hidden threat to Allan’s room. Reaching this conclusion and deciding to thwart the conspiracy, whatever it was, by switching rooms with Allan happened in an instant for Midwinter. Faced with actual danger, the true nature of the man instinctively shook off the weaknesses that had troubled him in happier and safer times. Not even a hint of his old superstition lingered in his mind now—no fatalistic doubt about himself disturbed the firm resolve within him. The only lingering uncertainty as he stood at the window lost in thought was whether he could persuade Allan to swap rooms with him without needing to explain himself in a way that might raise Allan’s suspicions about the truth.
In the minute that elapsed, while he waited with his eyes on the room, the doubt was resolved—he found the trivial, yet sufficient, excuse of which he was in search. Mr. Bashwood saw him rouse himself and go to the door. Mr. Bashwood heard him knock softly, and whisper, “Allan, are you in bed?”
In the minute that passed while he watched the room, his doubt faded—he found the small but enough excuse he was looking for. Mr. Bashwood saw him get up and head for the door. Mr. Bashwood heard him knock gently and whisper, “Allan, are you in bed?”
“No,” answered the voice inside; “come in.”
“No,” replied the voice inside; “come in.”
He appeared to be on the point of entering the room, when he checked himself as if he had suddenly remembered something. “Wait a minute,” he said, through the door, and, turning away, went straight to the end room. “If there is anybody watching us in there,” he said aloud, “let him watch us through this!” He took out his handkerchief, and stuffed it into the wires of the grating, so as completely to close the aperture. Having thus forced the spy inside (if there was one) either to betray himself by moving the handkerchief, or to remain blinded to all view of what might happen next, Midwinter presented himself in Allan’s room.
He seemed ready to step into the room when he paused, as if he suddenly remembered something. “Wait a minute,” he said through the door, then turned and headed straight to the last room. “If anyone’s watching us in there,” he said out loud, “let them watch us through this!” He took out his handkerchief and stuffed it into the wires of the grating to completely block the opening. Having done this, he forced any potential spy inside to either reveal themselves by moving the handkerchief or to be completely blinded to what might happen next. Midwinter then entered Allan’s room.
“You know what poor nerves I have,” he said, “and what a wretched sleeper I am at the best of times. I can’t sleep to-night. The window in my room rattles every time the wind blows. I wish it was as fast as your window here.”
“You know how anxious I am,” he said, “and how terrible I am at sleeping even when things are good. I can’t sleep tonight. The window in my room rattles every time the wind blows. I wish it was as secure as your window here.”
“My dear fellow!” cried Allan, “I don’t mind a rattling window. Let’s change rooms. Nonsense! Why should you make excuses to me? Don’t I know how easily trifles upset those excitable nerves of yours? Now the doctor has quieted my mind about my poor little Neelie, I begin to feel the journey; and I’ll answer for sleeping anywhere till to-morrow comes.” He took up his traveling-bag. “We must be quick about it,” he added, pointing to his candle. “They haven’t left me much candle to go to bed by.”
“My dear friend!” exclaimed Allan, “I don’t mind a noisy window. Let’s switch rooms. Nonsense! Why should you make excuses to me? Don’t I know how easily little things upset those sensitive nerves of yours? Now that the doctor has reassured me about my poor little Neelie, I’m starting to feel the effects of the journey; and I’ll bet I can fall asleep anywhere until tomorrow comes.” He picked up his travel bag. “We need to hurry,” he added, gesturing to his candle. “They haven’t left me much candlelight to go to bed by.”
“Be very quiet, Allan,” said Midwinter, opening the door for him. “We mustn’t disturb the house at this time of night.”
“Be very quiet, Allan,” said Midwinter, opening the door for him. “We can’t disturb the house at this time of night.”
“Yes, yes,” returned Allan, in a whisper. “Good-night; I hope you’ll sleep as well as I shall.”
“Yes, yes,” Allan replied quietly. “Good night; I hope you sleep as well as I will.”
Midwinter saw him into Number Three, and noticed that his own candle (which he had left there) was as short as Allan’s. “Good-night,” he said, and came out again into the corridor.
Midwinter found himself in Number Three during the midwinter season and realized that his own candle (which he had left there) was just as short as Allan's. "Goodnight," he said, stepping back into the hallway.
He went straight to the grating, and looked and listened once more. The handkerchief remained exactly as he had left it, and still there was no sound to be heard within. He returned slowly along the corridor, and thought of the precautions he had taken, for the last time. Was there no other way than the way he was trying now? There was none. Any openly avowed posture of defense—while the nature of the danger, and the quarter from which it might come, were alike unknown—would be useless in itself, and worse than useless in the consequences which it might produce by putting the people of the house on their guard. Without a fact that could justify to other minds his distrust of what might happen with the night, incapable of shaking Allan’s ready faith in the fair outside which the doctor had presented to him, the one safeguard in his friend’s interests that Midwinter could set up was the safeguard of changing the rooms—the one policy he could follow, come what might of it, was the policy of waiting for events. “I can trust to one thing,” he said to himself, as he looked for the last time up and down the corridor—“I can trust myself to keep awake.”
He went straight to the grating and looked and listened once more. The handkerchief was exactly where he had left it, and there was still no sound coming from inside. He walked slowly back along the corridor and reflected on the precautions he had taken, for the last time. Was there really no alternative to the path he was trying now? There wasn’t. Any openly declared defensive stance—while the nature of the danger and where it might come from were completely unknown—would be useless and potentially worse, as it could alert the people in the house. Without any evidence to justify his mistrust of what might happen at night, and unable to shake Allan’s firm belief in the favorable situation the doctor had described, the only protection Midwinter could put in place for his friend was to change the rooms—the only strategy he could pursue, regardless of the outcome, was to wait for events. “I can rely on one thing,” he told himself as he took one last look up and down the corridor—“I can rely on myself to stay awake.”
After a glance at the clock on the wall opposite, he went into Number Four. The sound of the closing door was heard, the sound of the turning lock followed it. Then the dead silence fell over the house once more.
After a quick look at the clock on the wall across from him, he went into Number Four. The sound of the door shutting was heard, followed by the noise of the lock turning. Then, a heavy silence settled over the house once again.
Little by little, the steward’s horror of the stillness and the darkness overcame his dread of moving the handkerchief. He cautiously drew aside one corner of it, waited, looked, and took courage at last to draw the whole handkerchief through the wires of the grating. After first hiding it in his pocket, he thought of the consequences if it was found on him, and threw it down in a corner of the room. He trembled when he had cast it from him, as he looked at his watch and placed himself again at the grating to wait for Miss Gwilt.
Little by little, the steward's fear of the silence and darkness won out over his anxiety about moving the handkerchief. He carefully pulled aside one corner of it, waited, looked, and finally mustered the courage to pull the entire handkerchief through the wires of the grating. After hiding it in his pocket, he realized the trouble he’d be in if it was discovered on him, so he tossed it into a corner of the room. He shook with fear after throwing it away, glanced at his watch, and returned to the grating to wait for Miss Gwilt.
It was a quarter to one. The moon had come round from the side to the front of the Sanitarium. From time to time her light gleamed on the window of the corridor when the gaps in the flying clouds let it through. The wind had risen, and sung its mournful song faintly, as it swept at intervals over the desert ground in front of the house.
It was a quarter to one. The moon had moved from the side to the front of the Sanitarium. Occasionally, her light shone on the corridor window when breaks in the drifting clouds allowed it through. The wind had picked up and softly sang its sorrowful tune as it intermittently swept over the barren ground in front of the house.
The minute hand of the clock traveled on halfway round the circle of the dial. As it touched the quarter-past one, Miss Gwilt stepped noiselessly into the corridor. “Let yourself out,” she whispered through the grating, “and follow me.” She returned to the stairs by which she had just descended, pushed the door to softly after Mr. Bashwood had followed her and led the way up to the landing of the second floor. There she put the question to him which she had not ventured to put below stairs.
The minute hand of the clock moved halfway around the dial. As it reached a quarter past one, Miss Gwilt quietly stepped into the corridor. “Let yourself out,” she whispered through the grating, “and follow me.” She went back to the stairs she had just come down, gently closed the door after Mr. Bashwood followed her, and led him up to the second-floor landing. There, she asked him the question she hadn’t dared to ask downstairs.
“Was Mr. Armadale shown into Number Four?” she asked.
“Did Mr. Armadale get shown into Number Four?” she asked.
He bowed his head without speaking.
He lowered his head without saying anything.
“Answer me in words. Has Mr. Armadale left the room since?”
“Answer me in words. Has Mr. Armadale left the room since then?”
He answered, “No.”
He replied, “No.”
“Have you never lost sight of Number Four since I left you?”
“Have you not lost track of Number Four since I left you?”
He answered, “Never!”
He replied, “Never!”
Something strange in his manner, something unfamiliar in his voice, as he made that last reply, attracted her attention. She took her candle from a table near, on which she had left it, and threw its light on him. His eyes were staring, his teeth chattered. There was everything to betray him to her as a terrified man; there was nothing to tell her that the terror was caused by his consciousness of deceiving her, for the first time in his life, to her face. If she had threatened him less openly when she placed him on the watch; if she had spoken less unreservedly of the interview which was to reward him in the morning, he might have owned the truth. As it was, his strongest fears and his dearest hopes were alike interested in telling her the fatal lie that he had now told—the fatal lie which he reiterated when she put her question for the second time.
Something odd about his expression, something unfamiliar in his voice, when he made that last reply, caught her attention. She grabbed the candle from a nearby table, where she had left it, and illuminated him. His eyes were wide, and his teeth chattered. Everything about him gave away that he was terrified; there was nothing to indicate that his fear was due to the realization that he was deceiving her, for the first time ever, right to her face. If she had threatened him less directly when she put him on guard; if she had talked less openly about the meeting that was supposed to reward him in the morning, he might have confessed the truth. As it was, his strongest fears and his deepest hopes both drove him to tell her the deadly lie he had just uttered—the deadly lie he repeated when she asked her question again.
She looked at him, deceived by the last man on earth whom she would have suspected of deception—the man whom she had deceived herself.
She looked at him, fooled by the last person on earth she would have thought was dishonest—the man she had tricked herself.
“You seem to be overexcited,” she said quietly. “The night has been too much for you. Go upstairs, and rest. You will find the door of one of the rooms left open. That is the room you are to occupy. Good-night.”
“You seem really worked up,” she said softly. “The night has been too overwhelming for you. Go upstairs and get some rest. You'll find one of the room doors left open. That's the room you will stay in. Goodnight.”
She put the candle (which she had left burning for him) on the table, and gave him her hand. He held her back by it desperately as she turned to leave him. His horror of what might happen when she was left by herself forced the words to his lips which he would have feared to speak to her at any other time.
She placed the candle (which she had left burning for him) on the table and gave him her hand. He clung to it desperately as she turned to walk away. His fear of what could happen when she was alone made him say the words he would have been too scared to say at any other time.
“Don’t,” he pleaded, in a whisper; “oh, don’t, don’t, don’t go downstairs to-night!”
“Please don’t,” he begged, whispering; “oh, please don’t, don’t go downstairs tonight!”
She released her hand, and signed to him to take the candle. “You shall see me to-morrow,” she said. “Not a word more now!”
She let go of his hand and motioned for him to take the candle. “You’ll see me tomorrow,” she said. “Not a word more now!”
Her stronger will conquered him at that last moment, as it had conquered him throughout. He took the candle and waited, following her eagerly with his eyes as she descended the stairs. The cold of the December night seemed to have found its way to her through the warmth of the house. She had put on a long, heavy black shawl, and had fastened it close over her breast. The plaited coronet in which she wore her hair seemed to have weighed too heavily on her head. She had untwisted it, and thrown it back over her shoulders. The old man looked at her flowing hair, as it lay red over the black shawl—at her supple, long-fingered hand, as it slid down the banisters—at the smooth, seductive grace of every movement that took her further and further away from him. “The night will go quickly,” he said to himself, as she passed from his view; “I shall dream of her till the morning comes!”
Her stronger will won over him in that final moment, just like it always had. He took the candle and waited, eagerly watching her as she went down the stairs. The December night’s chill seemed to seep into her despite the house's warmth. She had put on a long, heavy black shawl, fastening it tightly over her chest. The braided crown that held her hair felt too heavy for her head. She took it down and tossed it back over her shoulders. The old man admired her flowing hair, which lay red against the black shawl—his gaze lingering on her slender, long-fingered hand as it slid down the banisters—captivated by the smooth, alluring grace of every movement that took her further away from him. “The night will pass quickly,” he thought to himself as she slipped out of his sight; “I’ll dream of her until morning comes!”
She secured the staircase door, after she had passed through it—listened, and satisfied herself that nothing was stirring—then went on slowly along the corridor to the window. Leaning on the window-sill, she looked out at the night. The clouds were over the moon at that moment; nothing was to be seen through the darkness but the scattered gas-lights in the suburb. Turning from the window, she looked at the clock. It was twenty minutes past one.
She locked the staircase door after she went through it—listened and made sure nothing was moving—then slowly walked along the corridor to the window. Leaning on the windowsill, she gazed out into the night. The clouds were covering the moon at that moment; all that could be seen through the darkness were the scattered gas lights in the suburb. Turning away from the window, she glanced at the clock. It was twenty minutes past one.
For the last time, the resolution that had come to her in the earlier night, with the knowledge that her husband was in the house, forced itself uppermost in her mind. For the last time, the voice within her said, “Think if there is no other way!”
For the last time, the decision that had come to her earlier in the night, knowing her husband was in the house, pushed itself to the forefront of her thoughts. For the last time, the voice inside her said, “Consider if there’s no other option!”
She pondered over it till the minute-hand of the clock pointed to the half-hour. “No!” she said, still thinking of her husband. “The one chance left is to go through with it to the end. He will leave the thing undone which he has come here to do; he will leave the words unspoken which he has come here to say—when he knows that the act may make me a public scandal, and that the words may send me to the scaffold!” Her color rose, and she smiled with a terrible irony as she looked for the first time at the door of the Room. “I shall be your widow,” she said, “in half an hour!”
She thought about it until the minute hand of the clock pointed to the half-hour. “No!” she said, still thinking of her husband. “The only chance left is to see this through to the end. He will leave things unfinished that he came here to do; he will leave the words unsaid that he came here to say—when he knows that the action could turn me into a public scandal, and that the words could land me on the scaffold!” Her face flushed, and she smiled with a terrible irony as she looked for the first time at the door of the Room. “I will be your widow,” she said, “in half an hour!”
She opened the case of the apparatus and took the Purple Flask in her hand. After marking the time by a glance at the clock, she dropped into the glass funnel the first of the six separate Pourings that were measured for her by the paper slips.
She opened the case of the equipment and picked up the Purple Flask. After checking the time on the clock, she poured the first of the six separate measures into the glass funnel, which had been prepared for her using the paper slips.
When she had put the Flask back, she listened at the mouth of the funnel. Not a sound reached her ear: the deadly process did its work in the silence of death itself. When she rose and looked up the moon was shining in at the window, and the moaning wind was quiet.
When she set the flask down, she listened at the end of the funnel. Not a sound reached her ears: the lethal process operated in complete silence. When she got up and looked up, the moon was shining through the window, and the howling wind had settled down.
Oh, the time! the time! If it could only have been begun and ended with the first Pouring!
Oh, the time! The time! If only it could have started and finished with the first Pouring!
She went downstairs into the hall; she walked to and fro, and listened at the open door that led to the kitchen stairs. She came up again; she went down again. The first of the intervals of five minutes was endless. The time stood still. The suspense was maddening.
She went downstairs into the hallway; she paced back and forth, listening at the open door that led to the kitchen stairs. She went back upstairs; then she went downstairs again. The first five-minute wait felt like an eternity. Time stood still. The suspense was driving her crazy.
The interval passed. As she took the Flask for the second time, and dropped in the second Pouring, the clouds floated over the moon, and the night view through the window slowly darkened.
The interval passed. As she took the flask for the second time and added the second pour, the clouds drifted over the moon, and the night view through the window gradually darkened.
The restlessness that had driven her up and down the stairs, and backward and forward in the hall, left her as suddenly as it had come. She waited through the second interval, leaning on the window-sill, and staring, without conscious thought of any kind, into the black night. The howling of a belated dog was borne toward her on the wind, at intervals, from some distant part of the suburb. She found herself following the faint sound as it died away into silence with a dull attention, and listening for its coming again with an expectation that was duller still. Her arms lay like lead on the window-sill; her forehead rested against the glass without feeling the cold. It was not till the moon struggled out again that she was startled into sudden self-remembrance. She turned quickly, and looked at the clock; seven minutes had passed since the second Pouring.
The restlessness that had driven her up and down the stairs, and back and forth in the hall, faded away as suddenly as it had appeared. She waited through the second interval, leaning on the window sill and staring, without any conscious thought, into the dark night. The howling of a late dog carried to her on the wind, at intervals, from some distant part of the suburb. She found herself tracking the faint sound as it faded into silence with a dull focus, and listening for it to return with an even duller anticipation. Her arms lay like lead on the window sill; her forehead rested against the glass without feeling the cold. It wasn’t until the moon broke through again that she was jolted into sudden self-awareness. She turned quickly and looked at the clock; seven minutes had passed since the second Pouring.
As she snatched up the Flask, and fed the funnel for the third time, the full consciousness of her position came back to her. The fever-heat throbbed again in her blood, and flushed fiercely in her cheeks. Swift, smooth, and noiseless, she paced from end to end of the corridor, with her arms folded in her shawl and her eye moment after moment on the clock.
As she grabbed the flask and filled the funnel for the third time, she fully realized her situation again. The feverish heat pulsed in her veins and made her cheeks burn. Quickly, silently, she walked back and forth in the corridor, her arms wrapped in her shawl, glancing at the clock every moment.
Three out of the next five minutes passed, and again the suspense began to madden her. The space in the corridor grew too confined for the illimitable restlessness that possessed her limbs. She went down into the hall again, and circled round and round it like a wild creature in a cage. At the third turn, she felt something moving softly against her dress. The house-cat had come up through the open kitchen door—a large, tawny, companionable cat that purred in high good temper, and followed her for company. She took the animal up in her arms—it rubbed its sleek head luxuriously against her chin as she bent her face over it. “Armadale hates cats,” she whispered in the creature’s ear. “Come up and see Armadale killed!” The next moment her own frightful fancy horrified her. She dropped the cat with a shudder; she drove it below again with threatening hands. For a moment after, she stood still, then in headlong haste suddenly mounted the stairs. Her husband had forced his way back again into her thoughts; her husband threatened her with a danger which had never entered her mind till now. What if he were not asleep? What if he came out upon her, and found her with the Purple Flask in her hand?
Three out of the next five minutes went by, and once again the suspense started to drive her crazy. The hallway felt too small for the endless restlessness that filled her limbs. She went down to the hall again and paced back and forth like a wild animal in a cage. On the third lap, she felt something brushing softly against her dress. The house cat had come in through the open kitchen door—a large, tawny, friendly cat that purred happily and followed her for company. She picked up the cat, and it rubbed its sleek head against her chin as she leaned down to it. “Armadale hates cats,” she whispered in its ear. “Come up and see Armadale killed!” The next moment, her own horrific thought terrified her. She dropped the cat with a shudder and sent it back downstairs with a wave of her hands. For a moment, she stood still, then in a rush, she suddenly ran up the stairs. Her husband forced his way back into her thoughts; he threatened her with a fear she had never considered until now. What if he wasn’t asleep? What if he came out and found her with the Purple Flask in her hand?
She stole to the door of Number Three and listened. The slow, regular breathing of a sleeping man was just audible. After waiting a moment to let the feeling of relief quiet her, she took a step toward Number Four, and checked herself. It was needless to listen at that door. The doctor had told her that Sleep came first, as certainly as Death afterward, in the poisoned air. She looked aside at the clock. The time had come for the fourth Pouring.
She quietly approached the door of Number Three and listened. The steady, calm breathing of a sleeping man was faintly audible. After pausing for a moment to let her relief settle, she moved toward Number Four and hesitated. There was no need to listen at that door. The doctor had informed her that Sleep arrived first, just as certainly as Death followed, in the poisoned air. She glanced at the clock. It was time for the fourth Pouring.
Her hand began to tremble violently as she fed the funnel for the fourth time. The fear of her husband was back again in her heart. What if some noise disturbed him before the sixth Pouring? What if he woke on a sudden (as she had often seen him wake) without any noise at all? She looked up and down the corridor. The end room, in which Mr. Bashwood had been concealed, offered itself to her as a place of refuge. “I might go in there!” she thought. “Has he left the key?” She opened the door to look, and saw the handkerchief thrown down on the floor. Was it Mr. Bashwood’s handkerchief, left there by accident? She examined it at the corners. In the second corner she found her husband’s name!
Her hand started to shake uncontrollably as she filled the funnel for the fourth time. The fear of her husband returned to her heart. What if some noise disturbed him before the sixth Pouring? What if he suddenly woke up (like she had often seen him do) without any noise at all? She glanced up and down the hallway. The end room, where Mr. Bashwood had been hiding, seemed like a safe place to go. "I could go in there!" she thought. "Did he leave the key?" She opened the door to check and saw a handkerchief lying on the floor. Was it Mr. Bashwood's handkerchief, accidentally left there? She looked at the corners and found her husband's name in the second corner!
Her first impulse hurried her to the staircase door, to rouse the steward and insist on an explanation. The next moment she remembered the Purple Flask, and the danger of leaving the corridor. She turned, and looked at the door of Number Three. Her husband, on the evidence of the handkerchief had unquestionably been out of his room—and Mr. Bashwood had not told her. Was he in his room now? In the violence of her agitation, as the question passed through her mind, she forgot the discovery which she had herself made not a minute before. Again she listened at the door; again she heard the slow, regular breathing of the sleeping man. The first time the evidence of her ears had been enough to quiet her; this time, in the tenfold aggravation of her suspicion and her alarm, she was determined to have the evidence of her eyes as well. “All the doors open softly in this house,” she said to herself; “there’s no fear of my waking him.” Noiselessly, by an inch at a time, she opened the unlocked door, and looked in the moment the aperture was wide enough. In the little light she had let into the room, the sleeper’s head was just visible on the pillow. Was it quite as dark against the white pillow as her husband’s head looked when he was in bed? Was the breathing as light as her husband’s breathing when he was asleep?
Her first instinct drove her to the staircase door to wake the steward and demand an explanation. In the next moment, she remembered the Purple Flask and the risk of leaving the corridor. She turned and glanced at the door of Number Three. Her husband, based on the evidence of the handkerchief, had definitely been out of his room—and Mr. Bashwood hadn’t informed her. Was he in his room now? In her agitation, as this question crossed her mind, she forgot the realization she had made just a minute earlier. She listened at the door again; once more, she heard the slow, regular breathing of the man sleeping inside. The first time, the sound had been enough to calm her; this time, with her suspicion and alarm heightened tenfold, she was determined to see for herself. “All the doors open quietly in this house,” she told herself; “there’s no risk of waking him.” Slowly, a little at a time, she opened the unlocked door and peeked in as soon as there was enough space. In the faint light she had allowed into the room, the sleeper’s head was just visible on the pillow. Did it look as dark against the white pillow as her husband’s head did when he was in bed? Was the breathing as light as her husband’s breathing when he was asleep?
She opened the door more widely, and looked in by the clearer light.
She opened the door wider and looked inside with better light.
There lay the man whose life she had attempted for the third time, peacefully sleeping in the room that had been given to her husband, and in the air that could harm nobody!
There lay the man she had tried to kill for the third time, peacefully sleeping in the room that had been assigned to her husband, and in the air that couldn't hurt anyone!
The inevitable conclusion overwhelmed her on the instant. With a frantic upward action of her hands she staggered back into the passage. The door of Allan’s room fell to, but not noisily enough to wake him. She turned as she heard it close. For one moment she stood staring at it like a woman stupefied. The next, her instinct rushed into action, before her reason recovered itself. In two steps she was at the door of Number Four.
The inevitable realization hit her suddenly. With a frantic gesture, she stumbled back into the hallway. Allan’s door shut, but not loudly enough to wake him. She turned as she heard it close. For a moment, she stood there staring at it, stunned. Then her instinct kicked in before her mind could catch up. In two strides, she was at the door of Number Four.
The door was locked.
The door was locked.
She felt over the wall with both hands, wildly and clumsily, for the button which she had seen the doctor press when he was showing the room to the visitors. Twice she missed it. The third time her eyes helped her hands; she found the button and pressed on it. The mortise of the lock inside fell back, and the door yielded to her.
She felt along the wall with both hands, frantically and awkwardly, for the button that she had seen the doctor press when he was showing the room to the visitors. She missed it twice. On the third try, her eyes guided her hands; she found the button and pressed it. The lock inside clicked open, and the door gave way.
Without an instant’s hesitation she entered the room. Though the door was open—though so short a time had elapsed since the fourth Pouring that but little more than half the contemplated volume of gas had been produced as yet—the poisoned air seized her, like the grasp of a hand at her throat, like the twisting of a wire round her head. She found him on the floor at the foot of the bed: his head and one arm were toward the door, as if he had risen under the first feeling of drowsiness, and had sunk in the effort to leave the room. With the desperate concentration of strength of which women are capable in emergencies, she lifted him and dragged him out into the corridor. Her brain reeled as she laid him down, and crawled back on her knees to the room to shut out the poisoned air from pursuing them into the passage. After closing the door, she waited, without daring to look at him the while, for strength enough to rise and get to the window over the stairs. When the window was opened, when the keen air of the early winter morning blew steadily in, she ventured back to him and raised his head, and looked for the first time closely at his face.
Without a moment’s hesitation, she walked into the room. Even though the door was open— and only a short time had passed since the fourth Pouring, which meant that barely half the expected amount of gas had been produced—the toxic air grabbed her, like a hand clutching her throat, like a wire twisting around her head. She found him on the floor at the foot of the bed: his head and one arm were turned toward the door, as if he had tried to get up at the first hint of drowsiness and had collapsed in his effort to leave the room. With the fierce determination that women can muster in emergencies, she lifted him and dragged him into the hallway. Her mind spun as she laid him down, then crawled back on her knees to the room to prevent the poisoned air from following them into the corridor. After closing the door, she waited, not daring to look at him, until she had enough strength to rise and get to the window over the stairs. When she opened the window and the sharp air of the early winter morning flowed in, she cautiously went back to him, lifted his head, and looked closely at his face for the first time.
Was it death that spread the livid pallor over his forehead and his cheeks, and the dull leaden hue on his eyelids and his lips?
Was it death that covered his forehead and cheeks with a sickly pale color, and gave his eyelids and lips a dull, lead-like shade?
She loosened his cravat and opened his waistcoat, and bared his throat and breast to the air. With her hand on his heart, with her bosom supporting his head, so that he fronted the window, she waited the event. A time passed: a time short enough to be reckoned by minutes on the clock; and yet long enough to take her memory back over all her married life with him—long enough to mature the resolution that now rose in her mind as the one result that could come of the retrospect. As her eyes rested on him, a strange composure settled slowly on her face. She bore the look of a woman who was equally resigned to welcome the chance of his recovery, or to accept the certainty of his death.
She loosened his tie and opened his vest, exposing his throat and chest to the air. With her hand on his heart and her breast supporting his head so he faced the window, she waited for what would happen. Time passed: short enough to count in minutes on the clock, yet long enough for her to reflect on all their years together—long enough for the resolution that now formed in her mind as the only outcome of that reflection. As her eyes lingered on him, a strange calm slowly spread over her face. She looked like a woman who was equally prepared to embrace the possibility of his recovery or to accept the certainty of his death.
Not a cry or a tear had escaped her yet. Not a cry or a tear escaped her when the interval had passed, and she felt the first faint fluttering of his heart, and heard the first faint catching of the breath of his lips. She silently bent over him and kissed his forehead. When she looked up again, the hard despair had melted from her face. There was something softly radiant in her eyes, which lit her whole countenance as with an inner light, and made her womanly and lovely once more.
Not a sound or a tear had escaped her yet. Not a sound or a tear came out when the moment passed, and she felt the first gentle flutter of his heart and heard the first soft catch of his breath. She quietly leaned over him and kissed his forehead. When she looked up again, the deep despair had softened from her face. There was something gently glowing in her eyes, lighting up her entire face as if from within, making her feminine and beautiful once more.
She laid him down, and, taking off her shawl, made a pillow of it to support his head. “It might have been hard, love,” she said, as she felt the faint pulsation strengthening at his heart. “You have made it easy now.”
She laid him down and took off her shawl, using it as a pillow to support his head. “It could have been tough, love,” she said, noticing the weak heartbeat becoming stronger. “You’ve made it easy now.”
She rose, and, turning from him, noticed the Purple Flask in the place where she had left it since the fourth Pouring. “Ah,” she thought, quietly, “I had forgotten my best friend—I had forgotten that there is more to pour in yet.”
She stood up and, turning away from him, saw the Purple Flask in the spot where she had left it since the fourth Pouring. “Oh,” she thought to herself, “I forgot my best friend—I forgot that there’s still more to pour in.”
With a steady hand, with a calm, attentive face, she fed the funnel for the fifth time. “Five minutes more,” she said, when she had put the Flask back, after a look at the clock.
With a steady hand and a calm, focused expression, she filled the funnel for the fifth time. “Five more minutes,” she said, putting the Flask back after checking the clock.
She fell into thought—thought that only deepened the grave and gentle composure of her face. “Shall I write him a farewell word?” she asked herself. “Shall I tell him the truth before I leave him forever?”
She got lost in thought—thought that only deepened the serious and calm expression on her face. “Should I write him a goodbye note?” she wondered. “Should I tell him the truth before I leave him for good?”
Her little gold pencil-case hung with the other toys at her watch-chain. After looking about her for a moment, she knelt over her husband and put her hand into the breast-pocket of his coat.
Her little gold pencil case hung with the other toys on her watch chain. After looking around for a moment, she knelt beside her husband and reached into the breast pocket of his coat.
His pocket-book was there. Some papers fell from it as she unfastened the clasp. One of them was the letter which had come to him from Mr. Brock’s death-bed. She turned over the two sheets of note-paper on which the rector had written the words that had now come true, and found the last page of the last sheet a blank. On that page she wrote her farewell words, kneeling at her husband’s side.
His wallet was there. Some papers fell out as she unbuckled the clasp. One of them was the letter he received from Mr. Brock's deathbed. She flipped over the two sheets of notepaper on which the rector had written the words that had now come to pass, and found the last page of the last sheet blank. On that page, she wrote her farewell message, kneeling beside her husband.
“I am worse than the worst you can think of me. You have saved Armadale by changing rooms with him to-night; and you have saved him from me. You can guess now whose widow I should have claimed to be, if you had not preserved his life; and you will know what a wretch you married when you married the woman who writes these lines. Still, I had some innocent moments, and then I loved you dearly. Forget me, my darling, in the love of a better woman than I am. I might, perhaps, have been that better woman myself, if I had not lived a miserable life before you met with me. It matters little now. The one atonement I can make for all the wrong I have done you is the atonement of my death. It is not hard for me to die, now I know you will live. Even my wickedness has one merit—it has not prospered. I have never been a happy woman.”
“I am worse than any version of me you could imagine. You saved Armadale by switching rooms with him tonight, and you saved him from me. You can probably guess now whose widow I would have claimed to be if you hadn’t preserved his life, and you’ll understand what a wretch you married when you chose the woman who writes these lines. Still, I had some innocent moments, and during those times, I loved you dearly. Please forget me, my darling, and find love with someone better than I am. I might have been that better woman myself if I hadn’t lived a miserable life before you met me. It doesn’t matter much now. The only atonement I can offer for all the harm I’ve done you is the atonement of my death. It’s not hard for me to die now that I know you will live. Even my wickedness has one positive aspect—it hasn’t prospered. I have never been a happy woman.”
She folded the letter again, and put it into his hand, to attract his attention in that way when he came to himself. As she gently closed his fingers on the paper and looked up, the last minute of the last interval faced her, recorded on the clock.
She folded the letter again and placed it in his hand to catch his attention as he came to. As she softly closed his fingers around the paper and looked up, the final moment of the last interval stared back at her, ticking away on the clock.
She bent over him, and gave him her farewell kiss.
She leaned over him and gave him a goodbye kiss.
“Live, my angel, live!” she murmured, tenderly, with her lips just touching his. “All your life is before you—a happy life, and an honored life, if you are freed from me!”
“Live, my angel, live!” she whispered gently, her lips barely brushing against his. “Your whole life is ahead of you—a happy life, and an honored life, if you are free from me!”
With a last, lingering tenderness, she parted the hair back from his forehead. “It is no merit to have loved you,” she said. “You are one of the men whom women all like.” She sighed and left him. It was her last weakness. She bent her head affirmatively to the clock, as if it had been a living creature speaking to her; and fed the funnel for the last time, to the last drop left in the Flask.
With one last, lingering tenderness, she brushed his hair back from his forehead. “It's no achievement to have loved you,” she said. “You’re the kind of man all women are drawn to.” She sighed and walked away from him. It was her final moment of vulnerability. She nodded to the clock, almost as if it were a living creature speaking to her, and filled the funnel for the last time, using the last drop left in the flask.
The waning moon shone in faintly at the window. With her hand on the door of the room, she turned and looked at the light that was slowly fading out of the murky sky.
The fading moonlight streamed softly through the window. With her hand on the door of the room, she turned and gazed at the light that was gradually disappearing from the cloudy sky.
“Oh, God, forgive me!” she said. “Oh, Christ, bear witness that I have suffered!”
“Oh, God, forgive me!” she said. “Oh, Christ, please witness that I have suffered!”
One moment more she lingered on the threshold; lingered for her last look in this world—and turned that look on him.
One more moment she stayed at the door; stayed for her last look in this world—and directed that look at him.
“Good-by!” she said, softly.
“Goodbye!” she said, softly.
The door of the room opened, and closed on her. There was an interval of silence.
The door to the room opened and then closed behind her. There was a moment of silence.
Then a sound came dull and sudden, like the sound of a fall.
Then a sound came out of nowhere, dull and sudden, like the sound of something falling.
Then there was silence again.
Then there was silence again.
The hands of the clock, following their steady course, reckoned the minutes of the morning as one by one they lapsed away. It was the tenth minute since the door of the room had opened and closed, before Midwinter stirred on his pillow, and, struggling to raise himself, felt the letter in his hand.
The hands of the clock, moving steadily, counted down the minutes of the morning as they slipped away one by one. It was the tenth minute since the door of the room had opened and closed when Midwinter finally moved on his pillow. Struggling to sit up, he felt the letter in his hand.
At the same moment a key was turned in the staircase door. And the doctor, looking expectantly toward the fatal room, saw the Purple Flask on the window-sill, and the prostrate man trying to raise himself from the floor.
At that moment, a key turned in the staircase door. The doctor, looking expectantly toward the crucial room, saw the Purple Flask on the windowsill and the unconscious man trying to lift himself off the floor.
EPILOGUE.
I. NEWS FROM NORFOLK.
From Mr. Pedgift, Senior (Thorpe Ambrose), to Mr. Pedgift, Junior (Paris).
From Mr. Pedgift, Senior (Thorpe Ambrose), to Mr. Pedgift, Junior (Paris).
“High Street, December 20th.
High Street, December 20.
“MY DEAR AUGUSTUS—Your letter reached me yesterday. You seem to be making the most of your youth (as you call it) with a vengeance. Well! enjoy your holiday. I made the most of my youth when I was your age; and, wonderful to relate, I haven’t forgotten it yet!
“MY DEAR AUGUSTUS—Your letter arrived yesterday. It seems like you’re fully embracing your youth (as you put it) with great enthusiasm. Well! Enjoy your break. I really took advantage of my youth when I was your age; and, incredibly, I still remember it!”
“You ask me for a good budget of news, and especially for more information about that mysterious business at the Sanitarium.
“You’re asking me for a solid update on the news, especially for more details about that mysterious situation at the Sanitarium.
“Curiosity, my dear boy, is a quality which (in our profession especially) sometimes leads to great results. I doubt, however, if you will find it leading to much on this occasion. All I know of the mystery of the Sanitarium, I know from Mr. Armadale: and he is entirely in the dark on more than one point of importance. I have already told you how they were entrapped into the house, and how they passed the night there. To this I can now add that something did certainly happen to Mr. Midwinter, which deprived him of consciousness; and that the doctor, who appears to have been mixed up in the matter, carried things with a high hand, and insisted on taking his own course in his own Sanitarium. There is not the least doubt that the miserable woman (however she might have come by her death) was found dead—that a coroner’s inquest inquired into the circumstances—that the evidence showed her to have entered the house as a patient—and that the medical investigation ended in discovering that she had died of apoplexy. My idea is that Mr. Midwinter had a motive of his own for not coming forward with the evidence that he might have given. I have also reason to suspect that Mr. Armadale, out of regard for him, followed his lead, and that the verdict at the inquest (attaching no blame to anybody) proceeded, like many other verdicts of the same kind, from an entirely superficial investigation of the circumstances.
“Curiosity, my dear boy, is a trait that often leads to significant outcomes in our line of work. However, I doubt it will yield much this time. Everything I know about the mystery of the Sanitarium comes from Mr. Armadale, who is completely unaware of several crucial details. I've already told you how they got trapped in the house and spent the night there. I can now add that something definitely happened to Mr. Midwinter, which caused him to lose consciousness; and that the doctor, who seems to be involved, took control and insisted on doing things his way at the Sanitarium. There's no doubt that the unfortunate woman was found dead—regardless of how she died—that a coroner’s inquest looked into the situation—that the evidence showed she entered the house as a patient—and that the medical examination concluded she died of apoplexy. I suspect Mr. Midwinter had his own reasons for not coming forward with the evidence he could have provided. I also have reason to believe that Mr. Armadale, out of loyalty to him, followed his lead, and that the inquest verdict, which placed no blame on anyone, resulted from a rather superficial investigation of the facts, like many other similar verdicts.”
“The key to the whole mystery is to be found, I firmly believe, in that wretched woman’s attempt to personate the character of Mr. Armadale’s widow when the news of his death appeared in the papers. But what first set her on this, and by what inconceivable process of deception she can have induced Mr. Midwinter to marry her (as the certificate proves) under Mr. Armadale’s name, is more than Mr. Armadale himself knows. The point was not touched at the inquest, for the simple reason that the inquest only concerned itself with the circumstances attending her death. Mr. Armadale, at his friend’s request, saw Miss Blanchard, and induced her to silence old Darch on the subject of the claim that had been made relating to the widow’s income. As the claim had never been admitted, even our stiff-necked brother practitioner consented for once to do as he was asked. The doctor’s statement that his patient was the widow of a gentleman named Armadale was accordingly left unchallenged, and so the matter has been hushed up. She is buried in the great cemetery, near the place where she died. Nobody but Mr. Midwinter and Mr. Armadale (who insisted on going with him) followed her to the grave; and nothing has been inscribed on the tombstone but the initial letter of her Christian name and the date of her death. So, after all the harm she has done, she rests at last; and so the two men whom she has injured have forgiven her.
“The key to the whole mystery, I strongly believe, lies in that miserable woman’s attempt to impersonate Mr. Armadale’s widow when his death was reported in the papers. But what made her do this, and how she managed to trick Mr. Midwinter into marrying her (as the certificate confirms) under Mr. Armadale’s name, is something even Mr. Armadale doesn’t understand. This issue wasn’t brought up at the inquest simply because the inquest was only concerned with the circumstances surrounding her death. At his friend’s request, Mr. Armadale spoke to Miss Blanchard and got her to keep old Darch quiet about the claim regarding the widow’s income. Since the claim had never been acknowledged, even our stiff-necked colleague agreed to comply for once. As a result, the doctor’s statement that his patient was the widow of a gentleman named Armadale went unchallenged, and the matter has been covered up. She is buried in the main cemetery, close to where she died. Only Mr. Midwinter and Mr. Armadale (who insisted on accompanying him) attended her funeral; and nothing is engraved on the tombstone except the initial of her first name and the date of her death. So, after all the damage she caused, she finally rests; and the two men she harmed have forgiven her.”
“Is there more to say on this subject before we leave it? On referring to your letter, I find you have raised one other point, which may be worth a moment’s notice.
“Is there anything else to discuss on this topic before we move on? Looking at your letter, I see you’ve brought up one more point that might deserve a moment’s attention.”
“You ask if there is reason to suppose that the doctor comes out of the matter with hands which are really as clean as they look? My dear Augustus, I believe the doctor to have been at the bottom of more of this mischief than we shall ever find out; and to have profited by the self-imposed silence of Mr. Midwinter and Mr. Armadale, as rogues perpetually profit by the misfortunes and necessities of honest men. It is an ascertained fact that he connived at the false statement about Miss Milroy, which entrapped the two gentlemen into his house; and that one circumstance (after my Old Bailey experience) is enough for me. As to evidence against him, there is not a jot; and as to Retribution overtaking him, I can only say I heartily hope Retribution may prove, in the long run, to be the more cunning customer of the two. There is not much prospect of it at present. The doctor’s friends and admirers are, I understand, about to present him with a Testimonial, ‘expressive of their sympathy under the sad occurrence which has thrown a cloud over the opening of his Sanitarium, and of their undiminished confidence in his integrity and ability as a medical man.’ We live, Augustus, in an age eminently favorable to the growth of all roguery which is careful enough to keep up appearances. In this enlightened nineteenth century, I look upon the doctor as one of our rising men.
“You're asking if there's any reason to think the doctor actually has clean hands like he claims? My dear Augustus, I believe the doctor is behind more of this trouble than we’ll ever uncover; and he has taken advantage of the self-imposed silence of Mr. Midwinter and Mr. Armadale, just as dishonest people always take advantage of honest folks' misfortunes and needs. It's a known fact that he was complicit in the false statement about Miss Milroy, which lured the two gentlemen into his home; and that one fact (after my experience at Old Bailey) is enough for me. As for evidence against him, there’s nothing at all; and regarding Retribution catching up to him, I can only sincerely hope that, in the end, Retribution turns out to be the more clever player of the two. There isn’t much chance of that happening right now. The doctor’s friends and admirers are, I hear, planning to present him with a testimonial 'expressing their sympathy under the unfortunate event that has cast a shadow over the opening of his Sanitarium, and their unwavering confidence in his integrity and skill as a doctor.' We live, Augustus, in a time that is particularly conducive to the flourishing of all kinds of deceit as long as it maintains appearances. In this enlightened nineteenth century, I see the doctor as one of our rising stars.”
“To turn now to pleasanter subjects than Sanitariums, I may tell you that Miss Neelie is as good as well again, and is, in my humble opinion, prettier than ever. She is staying in London under the care of a female relative; and Mr. Armadale satisfies her of the fact of his existence (in case she should forget it) regularly every day. They are to be married in the spring, unless Mrs. Milroy’s death causes the ceremony to be postponed. The medical men are of opinion that the poor lady is sinking at last. It may be a question of weeks or a question of months, they can say no more. She is greatly altered—quiet and gentle, and anxiously affectionate with her husband and her child. But in her case this happy change is, it seems, a sign of approaching dissolution, from the medical point of view. There is a difficulty in making the poor old, major understand this. He only sees that she has gone back to the likeness of her better self when he first married her; and he sits for hours by her bedside now, and tells her about his wonderful clock.
“To move on to lighter topics than sanitariums, I can tell you that Miss Neelie is almost completely better and, in my humble opinion, prettier than ever. She's staying in London with a female relative, and Mr. Armadale makes sure she remembers he's around (in case she forgets) every single day. They’re set to get married in the spring unless Mrs. Milroy's passing delays the wedding. The doctors believe the poor lady is finally fading away. It could be a matter of weeks or months; they can't say for sure. She has changed a lot—she's calm and gentle, showing a lot of love for her husband and child. But from a medical perspective, this positive change seems to signal that her end is near. It’s hard for the poor old major to grasp this. He only sees that she has returned to the version of herself he fell in love with when they first married; he now sits by her bedside for hours, talking to her about his amazing clock.”
“Mr. Midwinter, of whom you will next expect me to say something, is improving rapidly. After causing some anxiety at first to the medical men (who declared that he was suffering from a serious nervous shock, produced by circumstances about which their patient’s obstinate silence kept them quite in the dark), he has rallied, as only men of his sensitive temperament (to quote the doctors again) can rally. He and Mr. Armadale are together in a quiet lodging. I saw him last week when I was in London. His face showed signs of wear and tear, very sad to see in so young a man. But he spoke of himself and his future with a courage and hopefulness which men of twice his years (if he has suffered as I suspect him to have suffered) might have envied. If I know anything of humanity, this is no common man; and we shall hear of him yet in no common way.
“Mr. Midwinter, who you can expect me to talk about next, is getting better quickly. After initially worrying the doctors (who said he was dealing with a serious nervous shock caused by things his stubborn silence kept them completely in the dark about), he has bounced back, like only sensitive people (to quote the doctors again) can. He and Mr. Armadale are staying together in a quiet place. I saw him last week when I was in London. His face showed signs of stress, which is very sad to see in someone so young. But he spoke about himself and his future with a courage and hopefulness that men twice his age (if he has suffered as I think he has) might have envied. If I know anything about people, this is no ordinary man; and we'll definitely hear about him in an extraordinary way."
“You will wonder how I came to be in London. I went up, with a return ticket (from Saturday to Monday), about that matter in dispute at our agent’s. We had a tough fight; but, curiously enough, a point occurred to me just as I got up to go; and I went back to my chair, and settled the question in no time. Of course I stayed at Our Hotel in Covent Garden. William, the waiter, asked after you with the affection of a father; and Matilda, the chamber-maid, said you almost persuaded her that last time to have the hollow tooth taken out of her lower jaw. I had the agent’s second son (the young chap you nicknamed Mustapha, when he made that dreadful mess about the Turkish Securities) to dine with me on Sunday. A little incident happened in the evening which may be worth recording, as it connected itself with a certain old lady who was not ‘at home’ when you and Mr. Armadale blundered on that house in Pimlico in the bygone time.
“You'll be curious about how I ended up in London. I went up with a return ticket (from Saturday to Monday) to discuss the issue at our agent's. We had a tough negotiation; but, interestingly, a thought struck me just as I was getting up to leave, so I went back to my seat and resolved the matter in no time. Naturally, I stayed at Our Hotel in Covent Garden. William, the waiter, inquired about you with a father's affection, and Matilda, the chambermaid, said you nearly convinced her last time to get the hollow tooth removed from her lower jaw. I had dinner with the agent's second son (the young guy you dubbed Mustapha when he made that big mess with the Turkish Securities) on Sunday. An interesting incident happened in the evening that might be worth mentioning, as it involved a certain old lady who wasn’t ‘at home’ when you and Mr. Armadale stumbled upon that house in Pimlico back in the day.”
“Mustapha was like all the rest of you young men of the present day—he got restless after dinner. ‘Let’s go to a public amusement, Mr. Pedgift,’ says he. ‘Public amusement? Why, it’s Sunday evening!’ says I. ‘All right, sir,’ says Mustapha. ‘They stop acting on the stage, I grant you, on Sunday evening—but they don’t stop acting in the pulpit. Come and see the last new Sunday performer of our time.’ As he wouldn’t have any more wine, there was nothing else for it but to go.
“Mustapha was just like all you young guys today—he got restless after dinner. ‘Let’s go to a public event, Mr. Pedgift,’ he says. ‘Public event? It’s Sunday evening!’ I reply. ‘Alright then,’ Mustapha says. ‘Sure, they stop performing on stage on Sunday evenings, but they don’t stop preaching from the pulpit. Come and see the latest Sunday performer of our time.’ Since he didn’t want any more wine, we had no choice but to go.”
“We went to a street at the West End, and found it blocked up with carriages. If it hadn’t been Sunday night, I should have thought we were going to the opera. ‘What did I tell you?’ says Mustapha, taking me up to an open door with a gas star outside and a bill of the performance. I had just time to notice that I was going to one of a series of ‘Sunday Evening Discourses on the Pomps and Vanities of the World, by A Sinner Who Has Served Them,’ when Mustapha jogged my elbow, and whispered, ‘Half a crown is the fashionable tip.’ I found myself between two demure and silent gentlemen, with plates in their hands, uncommonly well filled already with the fashionable tip. Mustapha patronized one plate, and I the other. We passed through two doors into a long room, crammed with people. And there, on a platform at the further end, holding forth to the audience, was—not a man, as I had expected—but a Woman, and that woman, MOTHER OLDERSHAW! You never listened to anything more eloquent in your life. As long as I heard her she was never once at a loss for a word anywhere. I shall think less of oratory as a human accomplishment, for the rest of my days, after that Sunday evening. As for the matter of the sermon, I may describe it as a narrative of Mrs. Oldershaw’s experience among dilapidated women, profusely illustrated in the pious and penitential style. You will ask what sort of audience it was. Principally Women, Augustus—and, as I hope to be saved, all the old harridans of the world of fashion whom Mother Oldershaw had enameled in her time, sitting boldly in the front places, with their cheeks ruddled with paint, in a state of devout enjoyment wonderful to see! I left Mustapha to hear the end of it. And I thought to myself, as I went out, of what Shakespeare says somewhere, ‘Lord, what fools we mortals be!’
“We went to a street in the West End and found it blocked with carriages. If it hadn’t been Sunday night, I would have thought we were going to the opera. ‘What did I tell you?’ said Mustapha, leading me to an open door with a gas lamp outside and a performance poster. I barely had time to notice I was heading to one of a series of ‘Sunday Evening Discourses on the Pomps and Vanities of the World, by A Sinner Who Has Served Them,’ when Mustapha nudged my elbow and whispered, ‘Half a crown is the trendy tip.’ I found myself between two reserved and quiet gentlemen, each holding plates that were already quite full with the trendy tip. Mustapha helped himself to one plate, and I took the other. We passed through two doors into a long room packed with people. And there, on a platform at the far end, speaking to the audience, was—not a man as I had expected—but a woman, and that woman was MOTHER OLDERSHAW! You’ve never heard anything more powerful in your life. During the time I listened to her, she was never once at a loss for words. I will think less of oratory as a human skill for the rest of my life after that Sunday evening. As for the content of the sermon, I could describe it as a story about Mrs. Oldershaw’s experiences with down-and-out women, lavishly illustrated in a pious and remorseful style. You might ask what kind of audience it was. Mainly women, Augustus—and, as I hope to be saved, all the old hags of high society that Mother Oldershaw had influenced in her time, boldly sitting in the front rows, with their cheeks bright from makeup, in a state of devout enjoyment that was wonderful to see! I left Mustapha to hear the conclusion. And I thought to myself, as I left, about what Shakespeare says somewhere, ‘Lord, what fools we mortals be!’”
“Have I anything more to tell you before I leave off? Only one thing that I can remember.
“Do I have anything else to share before I wrap up? Just one thing that I can recall.
“That wretched old Bashwood has confirmed the fears I told you I had about him when he was brought back here from London. There is no kind of doubt that he has really lost all the little reason he ever had. He is perfectly harmless, and perfectly happy. And he would do very well if we could only prevent him from going out in his last new suit of clothes, smirking and smiling and inviting everybody to his approaching marriage with the handsomest woman in England. It ends of course in the boys pelting him, and in his coming here crying to me, covered with mud. The moment his clothes are cleaned again he falls back into his favorite delusion, and struts about before the church gates, in the character of a bridegroom, waiting for Miss Gwilt. We must get the poor wretch taken care of somewhere for the rest of the little time he has to live. Who would ever have thought of a man at his age falling in love? And who would ever have believed that the mischief that woman’s beauty has done could have reached as far in the downward direction as our superannuated old clerk?
“That miserable old Bashwood has confirmed the fears I mentioned when he was brought back here from London. There’s no doubt that he has truly lost all the little reason he ever had. He’s completely harmless and perfectly happy. He would be just fine if only we could prevent him from going out in his new suit, grinning and smiling and inviting everyone to his upcoming wedding with the most beautiful woman in England. It always ends with the boys throwing things at him, and then he comes crying to me, covered in mud. The moment his clothes are cleaned, he falls back into his favorite delusion and struts around in front of the church gates, acting like a bridegroom waiting for Miss Gwilt. We really need to get the poor guy taken care of somewhere for the little time he has left. Who would have ever thought a man his age could fall in love? And who would have believed that the trouble caused by that woman's beauty could reach as low as our old clerk?"
“Good-by, for the present, my dear boy. If you see a particularly handsome snuff-box in Paris, remember—though your father scorns Testimonials—he doesn’t object to receive a present from his son.
“Goodbye for now, my dear boy. If you come across a nice snuff-box in Paris, remember—though your father looks down on testimonials—he wouldn’t mind getting a gift from his son.
“Yours affectionately,
"With love,"
“A. PEDGIFT, Sen.
“A. PEDGIFT, Senator.”
“POSTSCRIPT.—I think it likely that the account you mention in the French papers, of a fatal quarrel among some foreign sailors in one of the Lipari Islands, and of the death of their captain, among others, may really have been a quarrel among the scoundrels who robbed Mr. Armadale and scuttled his yacht. Those fellows, luckily for society, can’t always keep up appearances; and, in their case, Rogues and Retribution do occasionally come into collision with each other.”
“POSTSCRIPT.—I think it’s likely that the story you saw in the French papers about a deadly fight among some foreign sailors in one of the Lipari Islands, including the death of their captain, might actually be a dispute among the crooks who robbed Mr. Armadale and sunk his yacht. Those guys, thankfully for society, can’t always maintain their facade; and, in their situation, villains and consequences do sometimes clash with each other.”
II. MIDWINTER.
The spring had advanced to the end of April. It was the eve of Allan’s wedding-day. Midwinter and he had sat talking together at the great house till far into the night—till so far that it had struck twelve long since, and the wedding day was already some hours old.
The spring had come to the end of April. It was the night before Allan’s wedding day. Midwinter and he had sat talking at the big house until late into the night—so late that it was well past midnight, and the wedding day was already a few hours in.
For the most part the conversation had turned on the bridegroom’s plans and projects. It was not till the two friends rose to go to rest that Allan insisted on making Midwinter speak of himself.
For the most part, the conversation had focused on the bridegroom’s plans and projects. It wasn’t until the two friends got up to go to bed that Allan pushed Midwinter to talk about himself.
“We have had enough, and more than enough, of my future,” he began, in his bluntly straightforward way. “Let’s say something now, Midwinter, about yours. You have promised me, I know, that, if you take to literature, it shan’t part us, and that, if you go on a sea-voyage, you will remember, when you come back, that my house is your home. But this is the last chance we have of being together in our old way; and I own I should like to know—” His voice faltered, and his eyes moistened a little. He left the sentence unfinished.
“We've had more than enough of my future,” he started, in his bluntly straightforward way. “Let’s talk about yours now, Midwinter. You’ve promised me, I know, that if you pursue literature, it won’t drive us apart, and that if you go on a sea voyage, you’ll remember, when you return, that my house is your home. But this is our last chance to be together like we used to be; and I have to admit, I’d like to know—” His voice faltered, and his eyes got a bit watery. He left the sentence unfinished.
Midwinter took his hand and helped him, as he had often helped him to the words that he wanted in the by-gone time.
Midwinter took his hand and helped him, just like he had often helped him find the words he wanted in the past.
“You would like to know, Allan,” he said, “that I shall not bring an aching heart with me to your wedding day? If you will let me go back for a moment to the past, I think I can satisfy you.”
“You want to know, Allan,” he said, “that I won’t be bringing a heavy heart with me to your wedding day? If you’ll allow me to go back for a moment to the past, I think I can put your mind at ease.”
They took their chairs again. Allan saw that Midwinter was moved. “Why distress yourself?” he asked, kindly—“why go back to the past?”
They sat down again. Allan noticed that Midwinter was upset. “Why upset yourself?” he asked gently—“why dwell on the past?”
“For two reasons, Allan. I ought to have thanked you long since for the silence you have observed, for my sake, on a matter that must have seemed very strange to you. You know what the name is which appears on the register of my marriage, and yet you have forborne to speak of it, from the fear of distressing me. Before you enter on your new life, let us come to a first and last understanding about this. I ask you—as one more kindness to me—to accept my assurance (strange as the thing may seem to you) that I am blameless in this matter; and I entreat you to believe that the reasons I have for leaving it unexplained are reasons which, if Mr. Brock was living, Mr. Brock himself would approve.” In those words he kept the secret of the two names; and left the memory of Allan’s mother, what he had found it, a sacred memory in the heart of her son.
"For two reasons, Allan. I should have thanked you long ago for the silence you’ve kept, for my sake, regarding something that must have seemed very strange to you. You know the name that’s on my marriage certificate, yet you’ve chosen not to bring it up, out of concern for my feelings. Before you start your new life, let’s have a final understanding about this. I ask you—as one more favor to me—to accept my assurance (no matter how odd it may sound to you) that I am not at fault in this situation; and I urge you to believe that the reasons I have for not explaining it are reasons that, if Mr. Brock were alive, he would support.” In those words, he kept the secret of the two names and left the memory of Allan’s mother untouched, a cherished memory in her son’s heart.
“One word more,” he went on—“a word which will take us, this time, from past to future. It has been said, and truly said, that out of Evil may come Good. Out of the horror and the misery of that night you know of has come the silencing of a doubt which once made my life miserable with groundless anxiety about you and about myself. No clouds raised by my superstition will ever come between us again. I can’t honestly tell you that I am more willing now than I was when we were in the Isle of Man to take what is called the rational view of your Dream. Though I know what extraordinary coincidences are perpetually happening in the experience of all of us, still I cannot accept coincidences as explaining the fulfillment of the Visions which our own eyes have seen. All I can sincerely say for myself is, what I think it will satisfy you to know, that I have learned to view the purpose of the Dream with a new mind. I once believed that it was sent to rouse your distrust of the friendless man whom you had taken as a brother to your heart. I now know that it came to you as a timely warning to take him closer still. Does this help to satisfy you that I, too, am standing hopefully on the brink of a new life, and that while we live, brother, your love and mine will never be divided again?”
“One more thing,” he continued—“a thing that will take us, this time, from the past to the future. It’s been said, and it’s true, that out of Evil can come Good. Out of the horror and misery of that night you know about has come a resolution of a doubt that once made my life miserable with baseless worry about you and about myself. No fears raised by my superstitions will ever come between us again. I can’t honestly say that I’m more inclined now than I was when we were in the Isle of Man to take what’s called the rational view of your Dream. Although I know that extraordinary coincidences happen all the time in all of our lives, I still can’t accept coincidences as an explanation for the fulfillment of the Visions our own eyes have seen. All I can sincerely say for myself is, what I think you’d be glad to know, that I’ve learned to see the purpose of the Dream with a fresh perspective. I once thought it was meant to stir your distrust of the friendless man whom you had embraced as a brother. I now know it came to you as a timely warning to hold him even closer. Does this help you feel assured that I, too, am standing hopefully on the edge of a new life, and that as long as we live, brother, your love and mine will never be separated again?”
They shook hands in silence. Allan was the first to recover himself. He answered in the few words of kindly assurance which were the best words that he could address to his friend.
They shook hands without saying a word. Allan was the first to gather himself. He responded with a few kind words of reassurance that were the best he could offer his friend.
“I have heard all I ever want to hear about the past,” he said; “and I know what I most wanted to know about the future. Everybody says, Midwinter, you have a career before you, and I believe that everybody is right. Who knows what great things may happen before you and I are many years older?”
“I’ve heard all I ever want to hear about the past,” he said; “and I know what I really wanted to know about the future. Everyone says, Midwinter, you have a career ahead of you, and I believe they’re all right. Who knows what amazing things might happen before you and I are many years older?”
“Who need know?” said Midwinter, calmly. “Happen what may, God is all-merciful, God is all-wise. In those words your dear old friend once wrote to me. In that faith I can look back without murmuring at the years that are past, and can look on without doubting to the years that are to come.”
“Who needs to know?” said Midwinter, calmly. “Whatever happens, God is all-merciful, God is all-wise. Those are the words your dear old friend once wrote to me. With that belief, I can look back without complaining about the years that have passed, and I can look forward without doubting the years that are to come.”
He rose, and walked to the window. While they had been speaking together the darkness had passed. The first light of the new day met him as he looked out, and rested tenderly on his face.
He got up and walked to the window. While they had been talking, the darkness had faded. The first light of the new day greeted him as he looked outside, softly touching his face.
APPENDIX.
NOTE—My readers will perceive that I have purposely left them, with reference to the Dream in this story, in the position which they would occupy in the case of a dream in real life: they are free to interpret it by the natural or the supernatural theory, as the bent of their own minds may incline them. Persons disposed to take the rational view may, under these circumstances, be interested in hearing of a coincidence relating to the present story, which actually happened, and which in the matter of “extravagant improbability” sets anything of the same kind that a novelist could imagine at flat defiance.
NOTE—My readers will notice that I've intentionally left them in the same position regarding the Dream in this story as they would be in real life: they are free to interpret it through a natural or supernatural lens, depending on their own perspectives. Those who prefer a rational viewpoint might find it interesting to hear about a coincidence related to this story that actually occurred, which in terms of “extravagant improbability” challenges anything similar that a novelist could come up with.
In November, 1865, that is to say, when thirteen monthly parts of “Armadale” had been published, and, I may add, when more than a year and a half had elapsed since the end of the story, as it now appears, was first sketched in my notebook—a vessel lay in the Huskisson Dock at Liverpool which was looked after by one man, who slept on board, in the capacity of shipkeeper. On a certain day in the week this man was found dead in the deck-house. On the next day a second man, who had taken his place, was carried dying to the Northern Hospital. On the third day a third ship-keeper was appointed, and was found dead in the deck-house which had already proved fatal to the other two. The name of that ship was “The Armadale.” And the proceedings at the Inquest proved that the three men had been all suffocated by sleeping in poisoned air!
In November 1865, which was thirteen months after “Armadale” began publication, and, I should mention, more than a year and a half since the story, as it currently appears, was first outlined in my notebook, a ship was docked at the Huskisson Dock in Liverpool. It was looked after by a single man who lived on board as the shipkeeper. One day that week, this man was found dead in the deck-house. The next day, another man who had taken over was rushed to the Northern Hospital, dying. On the third day, a third shipkeeper was appointed and was also found dead in the same deck-house that had already claimed the lives of the previous two. The name of that ship was “The Armadale.” The inquest revealed that all three men had suffocated from breathing in poisoned air!
I am indebted for these particulars to the kindness of the reporters at Liverpool, who sent me their statement of the facts. The case found its way into most of the newspapers. It was noticed—to give two instances in which I can cite the dates—in the Times of November 30th, 1865, and was more fully described in the Daily News of November 28th, in the same year.
I owe these details to the kindness of the reporters in Liverpool, who shared their account of the facts with me. The case was covered in most newspapers. To give two examples with specific dates, it appeared in the Times on November 30, 1865, and was described in more detail in the Daily News on November 28 of the same year.
Before taking leave of “Armadale,” I may perhaps be allowed to mention, for the benefit of any readers who may be curious on such points, that the “Norfolk Broads” are here described after personal investigation of them. In this, as in other cases, I have spared no pains to instruct myself on matters of fact. Wherever the story touches on questions connected with Law, Medicine, or Chemistry, it has been submitted before publication to the experience of professional men. The kindness of a friend supplied me with a plan of the doctor’s apparatus, and I saw the chemical ingredients at work before I ventured on describing the action of them in the closing scenes of this book.
Before I wrap up “Armadale,” I want to mention, for the sake of any readers who might be interested, that the “Norfolk Broads” are described based on my own personal exploration. In this case, just like in others, I’ve made sure to thoroughly educate myself on the facts. Whenever the story touches on topics related to Law, Medicine, or Chemistry, it has been reviewed before publication by professionals in those fields. A friend was kind enough to provide me with a diagram of the doctor’s equipment, and I watched the chemical reactions in action before I proceeded to describe them in the closing scenes of this book.
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