This is a modern-English version of My Friend the Chauffeur, originally written by Williamson, A. M. (Alice Muriel), Williamson, C. N. (Charles Norris).
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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MY FRIEND THE CHAUFFEUR
By C. N. and A. M. WILLIAMSON
Authors of "Lady Betty Across the Water," "The Princess
Virginia," "The Lightning Conductor," etc., etc.

With Illustrations
By Frederic Lowenheim
A. L. BURT COMPANY, Publishers [Pg iii]
NEW YORK
Copyright, 1905, by
McCLURE, PHILLIPS & CO.
Published September, 1905 [Pg v]
TO
THE OTHER BEECHY [Pg vi]
CONTENTS
PART I—TOLD BY RALPH MORAY
CHAPTER | PAGE | |
I. | A Chapter of Surprises | 3 |
II. | A Plan Chapter | 17 |
III. | A Chapter of Revenge | 28 |
IV. | A Chapter of Embarrassments | 40 |
V. | A Chapter of Adventures | 55 |
VI. | A Chapter of Challenges | 78 |
PART II—TOLD BY BEECHY KIDDER
VII. | A Phase of Immaturity | 89 |
VIII. | A Chapter of Playing with Dolls | 97 |
IX. | A Chapter of Revelations | 107 |
X. | A Thrilling Chapter | 115 |
XI. | A Chapter about Brakes and Worms | 129 |
XII. | A Chapter of Nightmares | 138 |
XIII. | A Chapter of Wild Animals | 152 |
XIV. | A Chapter of Sunshine and Shadow | 163 |
PART III—TOLD BY THE COUNTESS
PART IV—TOLD BY MAIDA DESTREY
XVII. | A Chapter of Car Enthusiasm | 205 |
XIII. | A Chapter by Shakespeare | 225 |
XIX. | A Chapter about Palaces and Princes | 235 |
XX. | A Fairyland Chapter | 244 |
XXI. | A Chapter of Weird Spells | 256 |
XXII. | A Chapter Beyond the Vehicle Zone | 267 |
XXIII. | A Chapter on Kidnapping | 283 |
XXIV. | A Chapter on Trusting Princes | 292 |
PART V—TOLD BY TERENCE BARRYMORE
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
She was only a tall white girl simply dressed | Vignette |
As he spoke a douanier lounged out of his little whitewashed lair. | 70 |
Two or three men were moving about the place | 158 |
A great white light pounced upon us like a hawk on a chicken | 212 |
MY FRIEND THE CHAUFFEUR
PART I
TOLD BY RALPH MORAY
I
A CHAPTER OF SURPRISES
"WANTED, LADIES, TO CONDUCT. An amateur automobilist (English, titled) who drives his own motor-car accommodating five persons, offers to conduct two or three ladies, Americans preferred, to any picturesque centres in Europe which they may desire to visit. Car has capacity for carrying small luggage, and is of best type. Journeys of about 100 miles a day. Novel and delightful way of travelling; owner of car well up in history, art, and architecture of different countries. Inclusive terms five guineas a day each, or slight reduction made for extensive trip. Address—"
"WANTED, LADIES, TO TRAVEL. An amateur driver (British, titled) who operates his own car that seats five people, is offering to take two or three ladies, Americans preferred, to any scenic spots in Europe they wish to explore. The car can carry small luggage and is of high quality. Expect journeys of about 100 miles a day. It's a unique and enjoyable way to travel; the car owner is knowledgeable about the history, art, and architecture of various countries. The all-inclusive price is five guineas a day each, with a slight discount for longer trips. Address—"
When Terry had read aloud thus far, I hastily interrupted him. I wasn't quite ready yet for him to see that address. The thing needed a little leading up to; and by way of getting him quickly and safely on to a side rack I burst into a shout of laughter, so loud and so sudden that he looked up from the little pink Riviera newspaper of which I was the proud proprietor, to stare at me.
When Terry had read this much aloud, I quickly interrupted him. I wasn't quite ready for him to see that address yet. It needed some buildup first; so to distract him and steer him safely onto another topic, I burst out laughing—so loudly and suddenly that he looked up from the little pink Riviera newspaper, which I owned proudly, and stared at me.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
I subsided. "The idea struck me so forcibly," said I. "Jolly clever, isn't it?"
I quieted down. "The idea hit me so hard," I said. "Pretty smart, right?"
"It's a fake, of course," said Terry. "No fellow would be ass enough to advertise himself like that in earnest. Probably the thing's been put in for a bet, or else it's a practical joke."
"It's obviously fake," Terry said. "No guy would be dumb enough to seriously advertise himself like that. It was probably put out there as a joke or for a bet."
I had been aware that this, or something like it, would come, [Pg 3] but now that the crisis was at hand I felt qualmish. Terry—known to strangers as Lord Terence Barrymore—is the best and most delightful chap in the world, as well as one of the best looking, but like several other Irishmen he is, to put it mildly, rather hard to manage, especially when you want to do him a good turn. I had been trying to do him one without his knowing it, and in such a way that he couldn't escape when he did know. But the success of my scheme was now being dandled on the knees of the gods, and at any instant it might fall off to break like an egg.
I knew something like this would happen, [Pg 3] but now that the crisis was here, I felt uneasy. Terry—known to strangers as Lord Terence Barrymore—is the best and most fun guy in the world, and also one of the best-looking, but like many other Irishmen, he is, to put it mildly, pretty tricky to handle, especially when you want to help him out. I had been trying to do him a favor without him realizing it, and in a way that he couldn't back out once he found out. But the success of my plan was now in the hands of fate, and at any moment, it could fall apart and shatter like an egg.
"I believe it's genuine," I began gingerly, almost wishing that I hadn't purposely put the pink paper where Terry would be sure to pick it up. "And I don't see why you should call the advertiser in my paper an ass. If you were hard up, and had a motor-car—"
"I think it's real," I said carefully, almost regretting that I had intentionally left the pink paper where Terry would definitely notice it. "And I don't understand why you would call the advertiser in my paper an idiot. If you were in a tough spot and had a car—"
"I am hard up, and I have a motor-car."
"I’m struggling financially, and I have a car."
"What I was going to say is this: wouldn't it be much better to turn your car into the means of making an honest living, and at the same time having some rattling good fun, rather than sell the thing for less than half cost, and not only get no fun at all, but not know how to get out of the scrape in which you've landed yourself?"
"What I wanted to say is this: wouldn’t it be a lot better to use your car to make an honest living and have a great time while doing it, instead of selling it for less than half its value and not only getting no enjoyment at all, but also having no idea how to get out of the situation you've gotten yourself into?"
It was Terry's turn to laugh now, which he did, though not uproariously, as I had. "One would think the ass was a friend of yours, by your enthusiasm in defending him," said he.
It was Terry's turn to laugh now, which he did, though not loudly like I had. "You’d think the guy was your friend, given how passionately you’re defending him," he said.
"I'm only putting the case to you in the way I thought you'd see it most clearly," I persisted mildly. "But, as a matter of fact, the 'ass' as you call him, is my friend, a very intimate friend indeed."
"I'm just presenting the situation to you in a way I thought you’d understand best," I continued gently. "But, to be honest, the 'ass' you’re referring to is my friend, a very close friend, actually."
"Didn't know you had any intimate friends but me, anyhow owners of motor-cars, you old owl," remarked Terry. "I must say in your defence, though, it isn't like you to have friends who advertise themselves as titled couriers."
"Didn’t know you had any close friends besides me, anyway, car owners, you old owl," Terry commented. "I have to say in your defense, though, it’s not really like you to have friends who flaunt themselves as fancy couriers."
"If you're obliged to start a shop I suppose it's legitimate to put your best goods in the windows, and arrange them as attractively [Pg 4] as you can to appeal to the public," I argued. "This is the same thing. Besides, my friend isn't advertising himself. Somebody is 'running him'—doing it for him; wants him to get on, you know—just as I do you."
"If you have to open a shop, I guess it makes sense to display your best items in the windows and arrange them as appealingly as you can to attract customers," I argued. "This is the same situation. Plus, my friend isn't promoting himself. Someone else is managing his image—doing it for him; wants him to succeed, just like I do for you."
Terry gave me a quick glance; but my face (which is blond and said to be singularly youthful for a man of twenty-nine) was, I flatter myself, as innocent as that of a choir-boy who has just delivered himself of a high soprano note. Nevertheless, the end was coming. I felt it in the electric tingle of the air.
Terry shot me a quick look, but my face (which is blonde and supposed to be unusually youthful for a twenty-nine-year-old man) was, if I may say so, as innocent as that of a choir boy who just hit a high soprano note. Still, I knew the end was near. I could feel it in the electric buzz of the air.
"Do you mind telling me your friend's name, or is he a secret?"
"Do you mind telling me your friend's name, or is he a secret?"
"Perhaps the address at the end of the advertisement will be enlightening."
"Maybe the address at the end of the ad will shed some light."
Terry had dropped the paper on the grass by the side of his chaise longue, but now he picked it up again, and began searching for the place which he had lost. I, in my chaise longue under the same magnolia tree, gazed at him from under my tilted Panama. Terry is tall and dark. Stretched out in the basket chair, he looked very big and rather formidable. Beside him, I felt a small and reedy person. I really hoped he would not give me much trouble. The day was too hot to cope with troublesome people, especially if you were fond of them, for then you were the more likely to lose your head.
Terry had dropped the paper on the grass next to his lounger, but now he picked it up again and started looking for the spot he had lost. I, in my lounger under the same magnolia tree, watched him from beneath my tilted Panama hat. Terry is tall and dark. Laid back in the basket chair, he looked very big and a bit intimidating. Next to him, I felt small and fragile. I really hoped he wouldn’t cause me too much trouble. The day was too hot to deal with annoying people, especially if you cared about them, because that made it easier to lose your cool.
But the beginning was not encouraging. Terry proceeded to read the end of the advertisement aloud. "Address X. Y. Z., Châlet des Pins, Cap Martin." Then he said something which did not go at all with the weather. Why is it that so many bad words begin with D or H? One almost gets to think that they are letters for respectable people to avoid.
But the start wasn't very promising. Terry began to read the end of the ad out loud. "Address X. Y. Z., Châlet des Pins, Cap Martin." Then he said something that totally clashed with the weather. Why do so many negative words start with D or H? You almost start to think those letters are meant for decent people to steer clear of.
"Hang it all, Ralph," he went on, after the explosion, "I must say I don't like your taste in jokes. This is a bit too steep."
"Come on, Ralph," he continued after the outburst, "I have to say I really don't like your sense of humor. This is a bit much."
I sat up straight, with a leg on each side of the chair, and looked reproaches. "I thought," I said slowly, "that when your brother behaved like such a—well, we won't specify what—you [Pg 5] asked, I might even say begged, for my advice, and promised in a midnight conversation under this very tree to take it, no matter how disagreeable it might prove."
I sat up straight, with a leg on each side of the chair, and gave a disapproving look. "I thought," I said slowly, "that when your brother acted like such a—well, we won't go into details—you [Pg 5] asked, I might even say begged, for my advice and promised during a late-night chat under this very tree to take it, no matter how unpleasant it might be."
"I did; but—"
"I did, but—"
"There's no such word as 'but.' Last year I advised you not to put your money into West Africans. You put it in. What was the consequence? You regretted it, and as your brother showed no very keen interest in your career, you decided that you couldn't afford to stop in the Guards, so you cut the Army. This year I advised you not to play that system of yours and Raleigh's at Monte Carlo, or if you must have a go at it, to stick to roulette and five franc stakes. Instead of listening to me, you listened to him. What were the consequences?"
"There's no such thing as 'but.' Last year I told you not to invest in West Africans. You did anyway. What happened? You regretted it, and since your brother didn't show much interest in your career, you figured you couldn't stay in the Guards, so you left the Army. This year I warned you not to use that system of yours and Raleigh’s at Monte Carlo, or if you had to try it, to stick with roulette and five-franc bets. Instead of taking my advice, you listened to him. What were the results?"
"For goodness sake don't moralize. I know well enough what they were. Ruin. And it doesn't gild the pill to remember that I deserved to swallow it."
"For goodness' sake, don’t moralize. I know what they were. A disaster. And it doesn’t make it any easier to remember that I had it coming."
"If only you'd swallowed the advice instead! It would have slipped down more easily, poor old boy. But you swore to bolt the next dose without a groan. I said I'd try and think of a better plan than selling your Panhard, and going out to help work an African farm on the proceeds. Well, I have thought of a plan, and there you have the proof of my combined solicitude and ingenuity, in my own paper."
"If only you had taken the advice instead! It would have gone down easier, poor thing. But you promised to gulp down the next dose without complaining. I said I’d try to come up with a better plan than selling your Panhard and heading out to work on an African farm with the money. Well, I’ve thought of a plan, and there you have the proof of my mixed concern and creativity, in my own paper."
"Don't shoot off big words at me."
"Don't throw big words at me."
"I'm a journalist; my father before me was a journalist, and got his silly old baronetcy by being a journalist. I'm one still, and have saved up quite a little competency on big words and potted phrases. I've collected a great many practical ideas in my experience. I want to make you a present of some of them, if only you'll have them."
"I'm a journalist; my dad was a journalist before me, and he got his outdated baronet title by being a journalist. I'm still one, and I've saved up quite a bit of knowledge on fancy terms and shorthand expressions. I've gathered a lot of useful ideas from my experience. I want to share some of them with you, if you're interested."
"Do you call this advertisement a practical idea? You can't for a minute suppose that I'd be found dead carting a lot of American or other women whom I don't know about Europe in my car, and taking their beastly money?"
"Do you really think this advertisement is a practical idea? You can't seriously believe I'd be caught dead driving a bunch of American or other women I don't know around Europe in my car, just to take their awful money?"
"If you drove properly, you wouldn't be found dead; and [Pg 6] you would know them," I had begun, when there was a ring at the gate bell, and the high wall of the garden abruptly opened to admit a tidal wave of chiffon and muslin.
"If you drove safely, you wouldn't end up dead; and [Pg 6] you would recognize them," I had started to say, when the gatebell rang, and the tall garden wall suddenly opened to let in a flood of chiffon and muslin.
Terry and I were both so taken aback at this unexpected inundation that for a moment we lay still in our chairs and stared, with our hats tipped over our eyes and our pipes in our mouths. We were not accustomed to afternoon calls or any other time-of-day calls from chiffon and muslin at the Châlet des Pins, therefore our first impression was that the tidal wave had overflowed through my gate by mistake, and would promptly retire in disorder at sight of us. But not at all. It swept up the path, in pink, pale green, and white billows, frothing at the edges with lace.
Terry and I were both so shocked by this sudden flood that for a moment we just sat still in our chairs, staring, with our hats pulled down over our eyes and our pipes in our mouths. We weren’t used to afternoon visits or any other time-of-day visits from people dressed in chiffon and muslin at the Châlet des Pins, so our first thought was that the wave had accidentally overflowed through my gate and would quickly retreat in confusion when it saw us. But that wasn’t the case at all. It surged up the path in waves of pink, pale green, and white, frothing at the edges with lace.
There was a lot of it—a bewildering lot. It was all train, and big, flowery hats, and wonderful transparent parasols, which you felt you ought to see through, and couldn't. Before it was upon us, Terry and I had sprung up in self-defence, our pipes burning holes in our pockets, our Panamas in our hands.
There was a ton of it—a really confusing amount. It was all trains, and big, fancy hats, and amazing see-through parasols that you felt like you should be able to see through, but you couldn’t. Before it hit us, Terry and I jumped up in self-defense, our pipes burning holes in our pockets, our Panamas in our hands.
Now the inundation divided itself into separate wavelets, the last lagging behind, crested by a foaming parasol, which hid all details, except a general white muslin filminess. But Terry and I had not much chance to observe the third billow. Our attention was caught by the first glittering rush of pink and emerald spray.
Now the flood broke into smaller waves, the last one trailing behind, topped with a foamy covering that concealed all details except for a general sheer white appearance. But Terry and I didn't have much time to notice the third wave. Our focus was captured by the first gleaming burst of pink and green spray.
Out of it a voice spoke—an American voice; and then, with a lacy whirl, a parasol rose like a stage curtain. The green wave was a lady; a marvellous lady. The pink wave was a child with a brown face, two long brown plaits, and pink silk legs, also pink shoes.
Out of it a voice spoke—an American voice; and then, with a lacy swirl, a parasol rose like a stage curtain. The green wave was a woman; a marvelous woman. The pink wave was a girl with a brown face, two long brown braids, and pink silk legs, also pink shoes.
"We've come in answer to X. Y. Z.'s advertisement in this morning's Riviera Sun. Now which of you two gentlemen put it in?" began the lady, with gay coquetry which played over each of us in turn. Oh yes, she was wonderful. She had hair of the brightest auburn that ever crowned a human head. It was done in undulations, with a fat ring in the middle of her forehead, between two beautifully [Pg 7] arched black eyebrows. Her skin was very white, her cheeks were very pink, and her lips were very coralline. Everything about her was "very." Out of a plump face, with a small nose that turned up and a chin which was over-round, looked a pair of big, good-natured, nondescript-coloured eyes, and flashed a pair of pleasant dimples. At first glance you said "a stout girl of twenty-five." At the second, you were not sure that the lady wasn't ten years older. But her waist was so slender that she panted a little in coming up the path, though the path was by no means steep, and her heels were so high that there was a suspicion of limp in her walk.
"We've come in response to X. Y. Z.'s ad in this morning's Riviera Sun. So, which of you two gentlemen placed it?" the lady began, playfully flirting with each of us in turn. Oh yes, she was amazing. She had the brightest auburn hair ever seen on a human head. It was styled in waves, with a big ring in the center of her forehead, nestled between two beautifully arched black eyebrows. Her skin was very fair, her cheeks were very rosy, and her lips were a deep coral. Everything about her was "very." From her round face, with a small upturned nose and an overly round chin, emerged a pair of big, friendly, nondescript-colored eyes, flashing a pair of charming dimples. At first glance, you might think, "a stout girl of twenty-five." But upon closer inspection, you wondered if she might not be ten years older. However, her waist was so slender that she seemed to struggle a bit walking up the path, which was by no means steep, and her high heels gave her walk a slight limp.
Even to me the lady and her announcement gave a shock, which must have doubled its effect upon Terry. I was collecting my forces for a reply when the little brown girl giggled, and I lost myself again. It was only for an instant, but Terry basely took advantage of that instant in a way of which I would not have believed him capable.
Even I was shocked by the lady and her announcement, which must have had an even bigger impact on Terry. I was gathering my thoughts to respond when the little brown girl giggled, and I lost my focus again. It was just for a moment, but Terry shamelessly took advantage of that moment in a way I never thought he could.
"You must address yourself to my friend, Sir Ralph Moray," said the wretched fellow glibly. "His are the car and the title mentioned in the advertisement of The Riviera Sun, which he owns."
"You need to speak to my friend, Sir Ralph Moray," said the miserable guy smoothly. "He owns the car and the title mentioned in the ad for The Riviera Sun."
My title indeed! A baronetical crumb flung to my father because of a service to his political party. It had never done anything for me, except to add ten per cent to my bills at hotels. Now, before I could speak a word of contradiction, Terry went on. "I am only Mr. Barrymore," said he, and he grinned a malicious grin, which said as plainly as words, "Aha, my boy, I think that rips your little scheme to smithereens, eh?"
My title, really! A baronetcy tossed to my dad for helping his political party. It never did anything for me, except make my hotel bills ten percent higher. Before I could say a word against it, Terry continued. "I'm just Mr. Barrymore," he said, grinning a wicked grin that clearly communicated, "Aha, my boy, I think that ruins your little plan, huh?"
But my presence of mind doesn't often fail for long. "It's Mr. Barrymore who drives my car for me," I explained. "He's cleverer at it than I, and he comes cheaper than a professional."
But my quick thinking usually comes back pretty fast. "Mr. Barrymore is the one who drives my car," I explained. "He's better at it than I am, and he's more affordable than a pro."
The wonderful white and pink and auburn lady had been looking at Terry with open admiration; but now the light of interest faded from the good-natured face under the girlish hat. "O-oh," she commented in a tone of ingenuous disappointment, [Pg 8] "you're only the—the chawffur, then." I didn't want Terry to sink too low in these possible clients' estimation, for my canny Scotch mind was working round the fact that they were probably American heiresses, and an heiress of some sort was a necessity for the younger brother of that meanest of bachelor peers, the Marquis of Innisfallen. "He's an amateur chauffeur," I hastened to explain. "He only does it for me because we're friends, you know; but," I added, with a stern and meaning glance at Terry, "I'm unable to undertake any tours without his assistance. So if we—er—arrange anything, Mr. Barrymore will be of our party."
The lovely lady with white, pink, and auburn hair had been looking at Terry with genuine admiration; but now the interest faded from her friendly face under the youthful hat. “O-oh,” she said with a tone of real disappointment, [Pg 8] “you’re just the— the chauffeur, then.” I didn’t want Terry to be seen as less in the eyes of these potential clients, since my sharp Scottish mind was considering the fact that they were probably American heiresses, and having an heiress of some kind was essential for the younger brother of that most unkind bachelor peer, the Marquis of Innisfallen. “He’s an amateur chauffeur,” I quickly clarified. “He only drives for me because we’re friends, you know; but,” I added, giving Terry a serious look, “I can’t handle any tours without his help. So if we—er—decide on anything, Mr. Barrymore will be joining us.”
"Unfortunately I have an engagement in South Af—" began Terry, when the parasol of the third member of the party (the one who had lagged behind, stopping to examine, or seeming to examine a rose-bush) was laid back upon her white muslin shoulders.
"Unfortunately, I have an engagement in South Af—" Terry started to say, when the parasol of the third member of the group (the one who had fallen behind, pausing to look at, or pretending to look at a rose bush) was tilted back onto her white muslin shoulders.
Somehow Terry forgot to finish his sentence, and I forgot to wonder what the end was to be.
Somehow, Terry left his sentence hanging, and I didn’t even think about what the ending might have been.
She was only a tall, white girl, simply dressed; yet suddenly the little garden of the Châlet des Pins, with its high wall draped with crimson bougainvilla, became a setting for a picture.
She was just a tall, white girl, dressed simply; yet suddenly the small garden of the Châlet des Pins, with its tall wall covered in crimson bougainvillea, turned into a picture-perfect scene.
The new vision was built on too grand a scale for me, because I stand only five foot eight in my boots, while she was five foot seven if she was an inch, but she might have been made expressly for Terry, and he for her. There was something of the sweet, youthful dignity of Giovanni Bellini's Madonnas of the Trees about the girl's bearing and the pose of the white throat; but the face was almost childlike in the candour and virginal innocence of its large brown eyes. The pure forehead had a halo of yellow-brown hair, burnished gold where the sun touched it; the lips were red, with an adorable droop in the corners, and the skin had that flower-fairness of youth which makes older women's faces look either sallow or artificial. If we—Terry and I—had not already divined that the auburn lady got her complexion out of bottles and boxes, we would have known it with the lifting of that white girl's parasol.
The new vision was on a scale too grand for me, since I’m just five foot eight in my boots, while she was five foot seven, if that. But she seemed like she was made just for Terry, and he for her. The girl had a sweet, youthful dignity similar to Giovanni Bellini's Madonnas of the Trees, and her pose with that white throat was striking; however, her face was almost childlike in its candor and virginal innocence, highlighted by her large brown eyes. Her pure forehead was framed by a halo of yellow-brown hair, gleaming gold wherever the sun hit it; her lips were red, with an adorable droop at the corners, and her skin had that youthful flower-like fairness that makes older women's faces look either sallow or artificial. If Terry and I hadn’t already figured out that the auburn lady got her complexion from bottles and boxes, we would have realized it the moment that white girl's parasol was lifted.
Can a saintly virgin on a golden panel look sulky? I'm not sure, but this virgin gave the effect of having been reluctantly torn from such a background, and she looked distinctly sulky, even angelically cross. She had not wanted to come into my garden, that was plain; and she lagged behind the others to gaze at a rose-bush, by way of a protest against the whole expedition. What she saw to disapprove of in me I was at a loss to guess, but that she did disapprove was evident. The dazzling brown eyes, with the afternoon sun glinting between their thick dark fringes, hated me for something;—was it my existence, or my advertisement? Then they wandered to Terry, and pitied, rather than spurned. "You poor, handsome, big fellow," they seemed so say, "so you are that miserable little man's chauffeur! You must be very unfortunate, or you would have found a better career. I'm so sorry for you."
Can a saintly virgin on a golden panel look moody? I'm not sure, but this virgin seemed like she had been dragged away from such a beautiful background, and she definitely looked sulky, even angelically annoyed. It was clear she didn’t want to come into my garden; she lagged behind the others to stare at a rosebush, protesting the whole trip. I couldn’t figure out what she found so disapproving about me, but it was obvious she didn’t approve. Her dazzling brown eyes, with the afternoon sun shining through their thick dark lashes, seemed to resent me for some reason—was it my existence, or my advertisement? Then they shifted to Terry, and instead of scorn, they looked sympathetic. "You poor, handsome, big guy," they seemed to say, "so you’re that miserable little man’s chauffeur! You must be really unfortunate, or you would have found a better job. I feel so sorry for you."
"Do sit down, please," I said, lest after all it should occur to Terry to finish that broken sentence of his. "These chairs will be more comfortable if I straighten their backs up a little. And this seat round the tree isn't bad. I—I'll tell my servant to send out tea—we were going to have it soon—and we can talk things over. It will be pleasanter."
"Please, have a seat," I said, hoping Terry wouldn't end that incomplete thought of his. "These chairs will be more comfortable if I adjust their backs a bit. And this seat by the tree isn't too bad. I—I'll ask my servant to bring out some tea—we were planning to have it soon—and we can chat about everything. It’ll be more enjoyable."
"What a lovely idea!" exclaimed the auburn lady. "Why, of course we will. Beechy, you take one of those steamer-chairs. I like a high seat myself. Come, Maida; the gentlemen have asked us to stay to tea, and we're going to."
"What a great idea!" exclaimed the auburn lady. "Of course we will. Beechy, you grab one of those steamer chairs. I prefer a high seat myself. Come on, Maida; the guys have invited us to stay for tea, and we're going to."
Beechy—the little brown girl—subsided with a babyish meekness that contradicted a wicked laughing imp in her eyes, into one of the chaises longues which I had brought up from its knees to a sort of "stand and deliver" attitude. But the tall white girl (the name of "Maida" suited her singularly well) did not stir an inch. "I think I'll go on if you don't mind, Aunt Ka—I mean, Kittie," she said in a soft voice that was as American in its way as the auburn lady's, but a hundred and fifty times sweeter. I rather fancied that it must have been grown somewhere in the South, where the sun was warm, and the flowers [Pg 10] as luxuriant as our Riviera blossoms.
Beechy—the little brown girl—settled down with a childlike gentleness that didn’t quite match the mischievous sparkle in her eyes, into one of the chaises longues I had propped up to a sort of "stand and deliver" position. But the tall white girl (the name "Maida" suited her perfectly) didn't move at all. "I think I'll keep going if you don't mind, Aunt Ka—I mean, Kittie," she said in a soft tone that was as American as the auburn lady's, but a hundred and fifty times sweeter. I had a feeling her voice must have come from somewhere in the South, where the sun was warm and the flowers were as lush as our Riviera blooms. [Pg 10]
"You will do nothing of the kind," retorted her relative peremptorily. "You'll just stay here with Beechy and me, till we've done our business."
"You won't do that at all," her relative replied firmly. "You'll just stay here with Beechy and me until we've finished our business."
"But I haven't anything to do with—"
"But I have nothing to do with—"
"You're going with us on the trip, anyhow, if we go. Now, come along and don't make a fuss."
"You're coming with us on the trip, anyway, if we go. Now, let’s go without making a fuss."
For a moment "Maida" hesitated, then she did come along, and as obediently as the brown child, though not so willingly, sat down in the chaise longue, carefully arranged for her reception by Terry.
For a moment, "Maida" hesitated, but then she joined in, and as dutifully as the brown child, though not quite as eager, sat down in the chaise longue, which Terry had thoughtfully set up for her arrival.
"Evidently a poor relation, or she wouldn't submit to being ordered about like that," I thought. "Of course, any one might see that she's too pretty to be an heiress. They don't make them like that. Such beauties never have a penny to bless themselves with. Just Terry's luck if he falls in love with her, after all I've done for him, too! But if this tour does come off, I must try to block that game."
"Evidently a poor relative, or she wouldn't let herself be treated like that," I thought. "Of course, anyone could tell she's too beautiful to be an heiress. They don’t make them like that. Gorgeous girls never have a dime to their name. Just Terry's luck if he falls for her, after everything I've done for him, too! But if this trip happens, I need to try to stop that from happening."
"I expect I'd better introduce myself and my little thirteen-year-old daughter, and my niece," said the auburn lady, putting down her parasol, and opening a microscopic fan. "I'm Mrs. Kathryn Stanley Kidder, of Denver, Colorado. My little girl, here—she's all I've got in the world since Mr. Kidder died—is Beatrice, but we call her Beechy for short. We used to spell it B-i-c-e, which Mr. Kidder said was Italian; but people would pronounce it to rhyme with mice, so now we make it just like the tree, and then there can't be any mistake. Miss Madeleine Destrey is the daughter of my dead sister, who was ever so much older than I am of course; and the way she happened to come over with Beechy and me is quite a romance; but I guess you'll think I've told you enough about ourselves."
"I guess I should introduce myself, my little thirteen-year-old daughter, and my niece," said the auburn-haired woman, setting down her parasol and opening a tiny fan. "I'm Mrs. Kathryn Stanley Kidder from Denver, Colorado. This is my little girl—she's all I have left since Mr. Kidder passed away—her name is Beatrice, but we call her Beechy for short. We used to spell it B-i-c-e, which Mr. Kidder said was Italian; but people would pronounce it to rhyme with mice, so now we spell it like the tree to avoid any confusion. Miss Madeleine Destrey is the daughter of my late sister, who was much older than I am, of course; and the reason she came over with Beechy and me is quite a story, but I suppose I've shared enough about ourselves."
"It's like the people in old comic pictures who have kind of balloon things coming out of their mouths, with a verse thoroughly explaining who they are, isn't it?" remarked Miss Beechy in a little soft, childish voice, and at least a dozen imps looking [Pg 11] out of her eyes all at once. "Mamma's balloon never collapses."
"It's like those old comic strips where characters have speech bubbles explaining who they are, right?" Miss Beechy said in a soft, childlike voice, with at least a dozen mischievous glints in her eyes all at once. "Mom's balloon never deflates."
To break the awkward silence following upon this frank comparison, I bustled away with hospitable murmurs concerning tea. But, my back once turned upon the visitors, the pink, white, and green glamour of their presence floated away from before my eyes like a radiant mist, and I saw plain fact instead.
To break the uncomfortable silence after this honest comparison, I quickly moved on with friendly chatter about tea. However, once my back was turned to the guests, the vibrant pink, white, and green of their presence faded from my sight like a shining mist, and I saw the plain reality instead.
By plain fact I mean to denote Félicité, my French cook-housekeeper, my all of domesticity in the Châlet des Pins.
By plain fact, I mean to refer to Félicité, my French cook and housekeeper, my everything in terms of home life at the Châlet des Pins.
Félicité might be considered plain by strangers, and thank heaven she is a fact, or life at my little villa on the Riviera would be a hundred times less pleasant than it is; but she is nevertheless as near to being an angel as a fat, elderly, golden-hearted, sweet-natured, profane-speaking, hot-tempered peasant woman of Provence can possibly be. Whatever the greatest geniuses of the kitchen can do, Félicité can and will do, and she has a loyal affection for her undeserving master, which leads her to attempt miracles and almost invariably to accomplish them.
Félicité might seem plain to outsiders, and thank goodness she exists, or life at my little villa on the Riviera would be a lot less enjoyable. But she’s as close to being an angel as a plump, older, kind-hearted, sweet-tempered, swearing, hot-headed peasant woman from Provence can be. Whatever the best chefs can do, Félicité can and will do, and she has a deep loyalty to her undeserving boss, which drives her to try to work miracles and almost always pull them off.
There are, however, things which even Félicité cannot do; and it had suddenly struck me coldly in the sunshine that to produce proper cakes and rich cream at ten minutes' notice in a creamless and cakeless bachelor villa, miles from anywhere in particular, might be beyond even her genius.
There are, however, things that even Félicité can’t manage; and it suddenly hit me, chillingly in the sunlight, that whipping up proper cakes and rich cream on a moment's notice in a bachelor villa lacking both cream and cakes, miles away from anywhere specific, might be beyond even her talent.
I found her in the back garden, forcibly separating the family pet, a somewhat moth-eaten duck, from the yellow cat whose mouse he had just annexed by violence.
I found her in the back garden, aggressively pulling the family pet, a bit ragged duck, away from the yellow cat who had just violently taken its mouse.
With language which told me that a considerable quantity of pepper had got into her disposition (as it does with most cooks, according to my theory) she was admonishing the delinquent, whom she mercilessly threatened to behead and cook for dinner that evening. "You have been spared too long; the best place for you is on the table," I heard her lecturing the evil cannibal, "though the saints know that you are as tough as you are wicked, and all the sauce in the Alpes Maritimes would not make of you a pleasant morsel, especially since you have taken to eating the cat's mice."
With a tone that indicated she had a lot of pepper in her system (which I believe is common for many cooks), she was scolding the offender, whom she coldly threatened to behead and cook for dinner that night. "You've been lucky for too long; the best spot for you is on the table," I heard her saying to the wicked cannibal, "though heaven knows you're as tough as you are evil, and no amount of sauce from the Alpes Maritimes would make you a tasty dish, especially since you've started eating the cat's mice."
"Félicité," I broke in upon her flood of eloquence, in my most winning tones. "Something has happened. Three ladies have come unexpectedly to tea."
"Félicité," I interrupted her stream of words in my most charming voice. "Something's happened. Three ladies have shown up for tea unexpectedly."
The round body straightened itself and stood erect. "Monsieur well knows that there is no tea; neither he nor the other milord ever take anything but coffee and whisk—"
The round body straightened up and stood tall. "You know very well that there’s no tea; neither you nor the other lord ever drink anything but coffee and whisky—"
"Never mind," said I hastily. "There must be tea, because I asked the ladies to have some, and they have said yes. There must also be lettuce sandwiches, and cakes, and cream—plenty, lots, heaps, for five people."
"Don’t worry about it," I said quickly. "There has to be tea because I asked the ladies to prepare some, and they agreed. There also needs to be lettuce sandwiches, cakes, and cream—plenty, a lot, tons, for five people."
"As well ask that serpent of wickedness, your duck, to lay you five eggs in as many minutes."
"As well ask that wicked serpent, your duck, to lay you five eggs in five minutes."
"He isn't my duck; he's yours. You won him in a raffle and adopted him. I suspect it's a physical impossibility for him to lay eggs; but look here, Félicité, dear, kind, good Félicité, don't go back on me. Man and boy I've known you these eighteen months, and you've never failed me yet. Don't fail me now. I depend on you, you know, and you must do something—anything—for the honour of the house."
"He isn’t my duck; he’s yours. You won him in a raffle and adopted him. I doubt it’s physically possible for him to lay eggs, but listen, Félicité, dear, kind, good Félicité, don’t let me down. I’ve known you for eighteen months, and you’ve never let me down yet. Don’t fail me now. I count on you, you know, and you have to do something—anything—for the honor of the house."
"Does Monsieur think I can command tea, cakes, and cream from the tiles of the kitchen floor?"
"Does Monsieur think I can summon tea, cakes, and cream from the tiles of the kitchen floor?"
"No; but I firmly believe you can evolve them out of your inner consciousness. You wouldn't have me lose faith in you?"
"No; but I truly believe you can bring them out from within you. You wouldn’t want me to lose faith in you, would you?"
"No," said Félicité, whose eyes suddenly brightened with the rapt look of one inspired. "No; I would not have Monsieur lose faith. I will do what I can, as Monsieur says, for the honour of the house. Let him go now to his friends, and make his mind easy. In a quarter of an hour, or twenty minutes at most, he shall have a feef o'clocky for which he need not blush."
"No," said Félicité, her eyes suddenly lighting up with the look of someone inspired. "No; I wouldn't want you to lose faith. I'll do what I can, as you say, for the honor of the house. Let him go to his friends now and put his mind at ease. In a quarter of an hour, or twenty minutes at most, he’ll have a good excuse that he won't have to be embarrassed about."
"Angel!" I ejaculated fervently, patting the substantial shoulder, so much to be depended upon. Then with a buoyant step I hastened round the house to rejoin the party in the front garden, where, I anxiously realized, the tables might have been completely turned during my absence.
"Angel!" I exclaimed eagerly, giving the strong shoulder a reassuring pat. Then, with a light heart, I quickly made my way around the house to rejoin the group in the front garden, where I anxiously realized that things might have completely changed while I was gone.
Ready to hurl myself into the breach, if there were one, I came round the corner of the villa, to meet the unexpected. I had left Terry with three ladies; I found him with seven.
Ready to throw myself into action, if there was an opportunity, I rounded the corner of the villa and encountered the unexpected. I had left Terry with three women; I found him with seven.
Evidently he had gone into the drawing-room and fetched chairs, for they were all sitting down, but they were not being sociable. Mrs. Kidder's round chin was in the air, and she wore an "I'm as good as you are, if not better" expression. The imps in Beechy's eyes were critically cataloguing each detail of the strangers' costumes, and Miss Destrey was interested in the yellow cat, who had come to tell her the tragic tale of the stolen mouse.
Evidently, he had gone into the living room and brought back chairs, because they were all seated, but they weren’t being friendly. Mrs. Kidder had her chin held high and wore a look that said, "I’m just as good as you, if not better." The mischievous glint in Beechy’s eyes was critically assessing every detail of the strangers’ outfits, while Miss Destrey was focused on the yellow cat, who had come to share the sad story of the stolen mouse.
The new arrivals were English. I can't explain exactly how I knew that, the moment I clapped eyes on them, but I did; and I felt sure their nearest male relative must have made money in beer, pickles, or it might have been corsets or soap. They were that kind; and they had a great many teeth, especially the daughters, who all three looked exactly thirty, no more and no less, and were apparently pleasantly conscious of superlative virtue.
The newcomers were English. I can’t say exactly how I knew that as soon as I saw them, but I did; and I was pretty sure their closest male relative had made his fortune in beer, pickles, or maybe it was corsets or soap. They had that vibe; and they had a lot of teeth, especially the daughters, who all looked exactly thirty, neither more nor less, and seemed to be quite aware of their exceptional virtue.
I could see the house they lived in, in England. It would be in Surbiton, of course, with "extensive grounds." There would be a Debrett's "Peerage," and a Burke's "Landed Gentry," and a volume of "Etiquette of Smart Society" on the library shelves, if there was nothing else; and in the basket on the hall table the visiting cards of any titled beings of the family's acquaintance would invariably rise to the top like cream.
I could see the house they lived in, in England. It would be in Surbiton, of course, with "extensive grounds." There would be a Debrett's "Peerage," a Burke's "Landed Gentry," and a volume of "Etiquette of Smart Society" on the library shelves, if there was nothing else; and in the basket on the hall table, the visiting cards of any titled people the family knew would always rise to the top like cream.
"I understand from your friend that it is your advertisement which appears in The Riviera Sun to-day," began the Mother, whose aspect demanded a capital M. "You are Sir Ralph Moray, I believe?"
"I heard from your friend that it's your ad that’s in The Riviera Sun today," started the Mother, whose presence insisted on a capital M. "You are Sir Ralph Moray, right?"
I acknowledged my identity, and the lady continued: "I am Mrs. Fox-Porston. You will have heard of my husband, no doubt, and I daresay we know a great many of the same People at Home." (This with a dust-brush glance which swept the Americans out of the field.) "I think it is a very excellent idea of yours, Sir Ralph, to travel about the Continent on your motor-car with a [Pg 14] few congenial companions, and I have brought my daughters with me to-day in the hope that we may arrange a delightful little tour which—"
I recognized who I was, and the woman continued: "I'm Mrs. Fox-Porston. You've probably heard of my husband, and I imagine we know a lot of the same people back home." (This was accompanied by a dismissive glance that overlooked the Americans.) "I think it's a great idea, Sir Ralph, to travel around the continent in your car with a [Pg 14] few like-minded friends. I brought my daughters with me today, hoping we can plan a lovely little tour that—"
"Ting-a-ling" at the gate bell robbed us of Mrs. Fox-Porston's remaining hope, and gave us two more visitors.
"Ting-a-ling" at the gatebell took away Mrs. Fox-Porston's last bit of hope and brought us two more visitors.
Little had I known what the consequences of one small, pink advertisement would be! Apparently it bade fair to let loose upon us, not the dogs of war, but the whole floating feminine population of the French Riviera. Something must be done, and done promptly, to stem the rising tide of ladies, or the Châlet des Pins and Terry and I with it, would be swamped.
Little did I know what the consequences of one small, pink advertisement would be! Apparently, it seemed likely to unleash not the dogs of war, but the entire floating female population of the French Riviera. Something must be done, and done quickly, to stem the rising tide of women, or the Châlet des Pins and Terry and I with it, would be overwhelmed.
I looked at Terry, he looked at me, as we rose like mechanical figures to indicate our hosthood to the new arrivals.
I looked at Terry, and he looked at me, as we stood up like robots to show our hospitality to the new guests.
They were Americans; I could tell by their chins. They had no complexions and no particular age; they wore blue tissue veils, and little jingling bags on their belts, which showed that they were not married, because if they had been, their husbands would have ordered the little jingling bags into limbo, wherever that may be.
They were Americans; I could tell by their chins. They had no complexions and no specific age; they wore blue fabric veils and little jingling bags on their belts, which indicated that they weren’t married, because if they were, their husbands would have had those little jingling bags put away, wherever that might be.
"Good-afternoon," said the leading Blue Veil. "I am Miss Carrie Hood Woodall, the lady lawyer from Hoboken, who had such a nice little paragraph in The Riviera Sun, close to your advertisement; and this is my chaperone, Mrs. Elizabeth Boat Cully. We're touring Europe, and we want to take a trip with you in your automobile, if—"
"Good afternoon," said the main Blue Veil. "I'm Miss Carrie Hood Woodall, the lady lawyer from Hoboken, who had a nice little mention in The Riviera Sun, right next to your ad; and this is my chaperone, Mrs. Elizabeth Boat Cully. We're traveling around Europe, and we'd like to take a ride with you in your car, if—"
"Unfortunately, ladies," said I, "the services of—er—my car are already engaged to Mrs. Kidder, of Colorado, and her party. Isn't it so, Barrymore?"
"Unfortunately, ladies," I said, "my car is already booked by Mrs. Kidder from Colorado and her group. Isn't that right, Barrymore?"
"Yes," replied Terry stoutly. And that "yes" even if inadvertent, was equivalent I considered, to sign and seal.
"Yeah," replied Terry firmly. And that "yeah," even if unintentional, felt to me like a signature and a seal.
Mrs. Kidder beamed like an understudy for The Riviera Sun. Beechy twinkled demurely, and tossed her plaits over her shoulder. Even Miss Destrey, the white goddess, deigned to smile, straight at Terry and no other.
Mrs. Kidder smiled brightly like a backup for The Riviera Sun. Beechy sparkled shyly and flipped her braids over her shoulder. Even Miss Destrey, the elegant figure, chose to smile directly at Terry and no one else.
At this moment Félicité appeared with a tray. Whipped cream [Pg 15] frothed over the brow of a brown jug like a white wig on the forehead of a judge; lettuce showed pale green through filmy sandwiches; small round cakes were piled, crisp and appetizing, on a cracked Sèvres dish; early strawberries glowed red among their own leaves. Talk of the marengo trick! It was nothing to this. The miracle had been duly performed; but—there were only five cups.
At that moment, Félicité came in with a tray. Whipped cream frothed over the top of a brown jug like a white wig on a judge's forehead; lettuce peeked through delicate sandwiches in a pale green color; small, round cakes were stacked, crunchy and inviting, on a cracked Sèvres dish; early strawberries shone red among their own leaves. Talk about the marengo trick! It was nothing compared to this. The miracle had been pulled off, but—there were only five cups.
Mrs. Fox-Porston and her daughters, Miss Carrie Hood Woodall and her chaperone, took the hint and their leave; and the companions of the future were left alone together to talk over their plans.
Mrs. Fox-Porston and her daughters, Miss Carrie Hood Woodall and her chaperone, took the hint and left; and the future companions were left alone together to discuss their plans.
"Lock the gate, Félicité," said I. "Do make haste!" And [Pg 16] she did. Dear Félicité!
"Lock the gate, Félicité," I said. "Please hurry!" And [Pg 16] she did. Dear Félicité!
II
A CHAPTER OF PLANS
So it is that Fate calmly arranges our lives in spite of us. Although no details of the coming trip were settled during what remained of our new employers' visit, that was their fault and the fault of a singularly premature sunset, rather than mine, or even Terry's; and we both felt that it came to the same thing. We were in honour bound to "personally conduct" Mrs. Kidder, Miss Beechy Kidder, and Miss Destrey towards whatever point of the compass a guiding finger of theirs should signify.
So it is that Fate quietly organizes our lives despite our efforts. Although no specifics of the upcoming trip were decided during the rest of our new employers' visit, that was due to their oversight and an unusually early sunset, not because of me or even Terry; we both agreed that it amounted to the same thing. We felt it was our duty to "personally guide" Mrs. Kidder, Miss Beechy Kidder, and Miss Destrey to wherever they wanted to go.
It has always been my motto to take Father Time by the fore-lock, for fear he should cut it off, or get away, or play some other trick upon me, which the cantankerous old chap (no parent of mine!) is fond of doing. Therefore, if I could, I would have had terms, destination, day and hour of starting definitely arranged before that miraculously-produced tea of Félicité's had turned to tannin. But man may not walk through a solid wall, or strive against such conversational gifts as those of Mrs. Kidder.
It has always been my motto to seize the moment, worried that it might slip away or pull some other trick on me, which that grumpy old guy (definitely not my father!) enjoys doing. So, if I could, I would have had everything—terms, destination, day, and time of departure—set in stone before that perfectly brewed tea from Félicité turned to tannin. But you can't walk through a solid wall, nor can you compete with the conversational skills of Mrs. Kidder.
She could and would keep to anything except the point. That, whatever its nature, she avoided as she would an indelicacy.
She could and would stick to anything except the main point. That, whatever it was, she avoided as if it were something inappropriate.
"Well, now, Mrs. Kidder," I began, "if you really want us to organize this tour, don't you think we'd better discuss—"
"Well, now, Mrs. Kidder," I started, "if you genuinely want us to set up this tour, don't you think we should talk about—"
"Of course we want you to!" she broke in. "We all think it's just awfully good of you to bother with us when you must have so many friends who want you to take them—English people in [Pg 17] your own set. By the way, do you know the Duchess of Carborough?"
"Of course we want you to!" she interrupted. "We all think it’s really great of you to spend time with us when you must have so many friends who want you to take them—English people in your own group. By the way, do you know the Duchess of Carborough?"
"I know very few duchesses or other Americans," I replied. Whereupon Miss Kidder's imp laughed, though her mother remained grave, and even looked mildly disappointed.
"I know very few duchesses or other Americans," I replied. Then Miss Kidder's imp laughed, but her mother stayed serious and even looked a bit disappointed.
"That's a funny way of putting it," said Beechy. "One would think it was quite an American habit, being a Duchess."
"That's a funny way to say it," Beechy said. "You'd think being a Duchess is a pretty American thing."
"So it is, isn't it?" I asked. "The only reason we needn't fear its growing like the Yellow Peril is because there aren't enough dukes. I've always thought the American nation the most favoured in the world. Aren't all your girls brought up to expect to be duchesses, and your men presidents?"
"So it is, isn't it?" I asked. "The only reason we shouldn't fear its growth like the Yellow Peril is because there aren't enough dukes. I've always thought the American nation was the luckiest in the world. Aren't all your girls raised to expect to be duchesses, and your men to be presidents?"
"I wasn't," snapped Beechy. "If there was a duke anywhere around, Mamma would take him, if she had to snatch him out of my mouth. What are English girls brought up to expect?"
"I wasn’t,” Beechy snapped. “If there was a duke anywhere nearby, Mom would go for him, even if she had to grab him right out of my hands. What are English girls supposed to expect?”
"Hope for, not expect," I corrected her. "Any leavings there are in the way of marquesses or earls; or if none, a mere bishop or a C. B."
"Hope for, not expect," I corrected her. "Any leftovers in the way of marquesses or earls; or if there aren’t any, just a bishop or a C. B."
"What's a C. B.?" asked Mrs. Kidder anxiously.
"What's a C. B.?" asked Mrs. Kidder nervously.
"A Companion of the Bath."
"A Bath Companion."
"My goodness! Whose bath?"
"Oh my gosh! Whose bath?"
"The Bath of Royalty. We say it with a capital B."
"The Bath of Royalty. We say it with a capital B."
"My! How awkward for your King. And what was done about it when you had only a Queen on the throne?"
"My! How embarrassing for your King. And what happened when you only had a Queen on the throne?"
"You must inquire of the chamberlains," I replied. "But about that trip of ours. The—er—my car is in a garage not far away, and it can be ready when—"
"You should ask the chamberlains," I said. "But regarding our trip. The—uh—my car is in a garage not too far away, and it can be ready when—"
"Oh, I hope it's a red car, with your coat of arms on it. I do so admire red for an automobile. We could all fix ourselves up in red cloaks and hats to match, and make ourselves look awfully swell—"
"Oh, I hope it's a red car, with your coat of arms on it. I really admire red for a car. We could all dress up in red cloaks and hats to match, and make ourselves look really great—"
"Everybody'd call us 'The Crimson Ramblers,' or 'The Scarlet Runners,' or something else horrid," tittered that precocious child Beechy.
"Everyone would call us 'The Crimson Ramblers' or 'The Scarlet Runners' or something else terrible," giggled that clever kid Beechy.
"It isn't red, it's grey," Terry managed hastily to interpolate; which settled one burning question, the first which had been settled [Pg 18] or seemed likely to be settled at our present rate of progress.
"It’s not red, it’s gray," Terry quickly interjected; which answered one pressing question, the first that had been resolved [Pg 18] or seemed set to be resolved given our current pace.
"If you are keen on starting—" I essayed again, hope triumphing over experience.
"If you want to start—" I tried again, hope winning over experience.
"Yes, I'm just looking forward to that start," Mrs. Kidder caught me up. "We shall make a sensation. We're neighbours of yours, you know. We're at the Cap Martin Hotel. Isn't it perfectly lovely there, with that big garden, the woods and all? When we were coming to the Riviera, I told the man at Cook's that we wanted to go to the grandest hotel there was, where we could feel we were getting our money's worth; and he said all the kings and princes, and queens and princesses went to the Cap Martin, so—"
"Yes, I'm really looking forward to that start," Mrs. Kidder caught me up. "We're going to make a splash. We're your neighbors, you know. We're at the Cap Martin Hotel. Isn't it just beautiful there, with that big garden, the woods, and everything? When we were heading to the Riviera, I told the guy at Cook's that we wanted to stay at the fanciest hotel where we could feel we were getting our money's worth; and he said all the kings, princes, queens, and princesses go to the Cap Martin, so—"
"We thought it might be good enough for us," capped Beechy.
"We thought it might work for us," Beechy said.
"It's as full of royalties, as—as—"
"It's as filled with royalties as— as—"
"As a pack of cards," I suggested.
"As a deck of cards," I suggested.
"And some of them have splendid automobiles. I've been envying them; and only this morning I was saying to my little girl, what a lot of nice things there are that women and children can't do, travelling alone—automobiling for one. Then, when I came on that advertisement of yours, I just screamed. It did seem as if the Hand of Providence must have been pointing it out. And it was so funny your home being on the Cap, too, within ten minutes' walk of our hotel. I'm sure it was meant, aren't you?"
"And some of them have amazing cars. I've been jealous of them; just this morning, I was telling my little girl how many nice things there are that women and kids can't do alone—like traveling in a car. Then I saw your ad and I just screamed. It felt like fate was pointing it out. And it was so funny that your home is on the Cape, too, only ten minutes' walk from our hotel. I'm sure it was meant, don't you think?"
"Absolutely certain," I responded, with a glance at Terry, who was not showing himself off to any advantage in this scene although he ought to have been the leading actor. He did nothing but raise his eyebrows when he thought that no one was looking, or tug at his moustache most imprudently when somebody was. Or else he handed the cakes to Miss Destrey, and forgot to offer them to her far more important relatives. "I'm so sure of it," I went on, "that I think we had better arrange—"
"Absolutely certain," I replied, glancing at Terry, who really wasn't putting his best foot forward in this situation, even though he should have been the star of the show. He just raised his eyebrows when he thought no one was watching or tugged at his mustache in the most ungracious way when someone was. Otherwise, he handed the cakes to Miss Destrey and completely forgot to offer them to her much more important relatives. "I'm so sure of it," I continued, "that I think we should arrange—"
"Yes, indeed. Of course your ch—Mr. Barrymore (or did I hear you say Terrymore?) is a very experienced driver? We've never been in an automobile yet, any of us, and I'm afraid, [Pg 19] though it will be perfectly lovely as soon as we're used to it, that we may be a little scary at first. So it would be nice to know for sure that the driver understood how to act in any emergency. I should hate to be killed in an automobile. It would be such—such an untidy death to die, judging from what you read in the papers sometimes."
"Yes, definitely. Of course your ch—Mr. Barrymore (or did I hear you say Terrymore?) is a very experienced driver? None of us have ever been in a car before, and I’m worried that, [Pg 19] while it will be wonderful once we get the hang of it, we might be a little nervous at first. So it would be great to know for sure that the driver knows how to handle any situation. I would really hate to die in a car accident. It just seems like such an—such an unorganized way to go, based on what you read in the papers sometimes."
"I should prefer it, myself," I said, "but that's a matter of taste, and you may trust Terry—Mr. Barrymore. What he doesn't know about a motor-car and its inner and outer workings isn't worth knowing. So when we go—"
"I'd prefer it myself," I said, "but that's just a matter of taste, and you can trust Terry—Mr. Barrymore. What he doesn't know about a car and how it works inside and out isn't worth knowing. So when we go—"
"Aunt K—I mean Kittie, don't you think we ought to go home to the hotel?" asked Miss Destrey, who had scarcely spoken until now, except to answer a question or two of Terry's, whom she apparently chose to consider in the Martyr's Boat, with herself. "We've been here for hours, and it's getting dark."
"Aunt K—I mean Kittie, don’t you think we should head back to the hotel?" asked Miss Destrey, who had barely said anything until now, except for a question or two to Terry, whom she seemed to include in the Martyr’s Boat along with herself. "We've been here for hours, and it's getting dark."
"Why, so it is!" exclaimed Mrs. Kidder, rising hurriedly. "I'm quite ashamed of myself for staying so long. What will you think of us? But we had such a lot of things to arrange, hadn't we?"
"Wow, it really is!" said Mrs. Kidder, getting up quickly. "I'm pretty embarrassed for staying so long. What will you think of us? But we had so many things to sort out, right?"
We had had; and we had them still. But that was a detail.
We had them, and we still have them. But that was just a detail.
"We must go," she went on. "Well, we've decided nearly everything" (this was news to me). "But there are one or two things yet we'll have to talk over, I suppose."
"We have to go," she continued. "Well, we've almost made all our decisions" (this was news to me). "But there are still a couple of things we need to discuss, I guess."
"Quite so," said I.
"Absolutely," I said.
"Could you and Mr. Terrymore come and dine with us to-night? Then we can fix everything up."
"Could you and Mr. Terrymore come over for dinner tonight? Then we can sort everything out."
"Speaking for myself, I'm afraid I can't, thanks very much," Terry said, hastily.
"Speaking for myself, I’m afraid I can’t, thanks a lot," Terry said quickly.
"What about you, Sir Ralph? I may call you Sir Ralph, may I not?"
"What about you, Sir Ralph? Can I call you Sir Ralph?"
"Please. It's my name."
"Please. That’s my name."
"Yes, I know it. But it sounds so familiar, from a stranger. I was wondering if one ought to say 'Sir Ralph Moray,' till one had been acquainted a little longer. Well, anyway, if you could [Pg 20] dine with us, without your friend—"
"Yes, I get it. But it feels so familiar, coming from someone I don't know. I was thinking if I should say 'Sir Ralph Moray' until we've known each other a bit longer. Anyway, if you could [Pg 20] join us for dinner, without your friend—"
I also thanked her and said that matters would arrange themselves more easily if Barrymore and I were together.
I also thanked her and said that things would work out more smoothly if Barrymore and I were together.
"Then can you both lunch with us to-morrow at one o'clock?"
"Then can both of you join us for lunch tomorrow at one o'clock?"
Quickly, before Terry could find time to object if he meditated doing so, I accepted with enthusiasm.
Quickly, before Terry could find a moment to object, if he even thought about it, I eagerly accepted.
Farewells were exchanged, and we had walked to the gate with the ladies—I heading the procession with Mrs. Kidder, Terry bringing up the rear with the two girls—when my companion stopped suddenly. "Oh, there's just one thing I ought to mention before you come to see us at the hotel," she said, with a little catch of the breath. Evidently she was embarrassed. "I introduced myself to you as Mrs. Kidder, because I'm used to that name, and it comes more natural. I keep forgetting always, but—but perhaps you'd better ask at the hotel for the Countess Dalmar. I guess you're rather surprised, though you're too polite to say so, my being an American and having that title."
Farewells were said, and we walked to the gate with the ladies—I led the way with Mrs. Kidder, while Terry brought up the rear with the two girls—when my companion suddenly stopped. "Oh, there's just one thing I should mention before you come to visit us at the hotel," she said, taking a little breath. She clearly felt awkward. "I introduced myself as Mrs. Kidder because I’m used to that name, and it feels more natural. I keep forgetting, but maybe you should ask at the hotel for the Countess Dalmar. I guess you’re a bit surprised, though you're too polite to admit it, considering I'm an American with that title."
"Not at all," I assured her. "So many charming Americans marry titled foreigners, that one is almost more surprised—"
"Not at all," I assured her. "So many charming Americans marry titled foreigners that it's almost more surprising—"
"But I haven't married a foreigner. Didn't I tell you that I'm a widow? No, the only husband I ever had was Simon P. Kidder. But—but I've bought an estate, and the title goes with it, so it would seem like a kind of waste of money not to use it, you see."
"But I haven't married a foreigner. Didn't I tell you I'm a widow? No, the only husband I ever had was Simon P. Kidder. But—I’ve bought a property, and the title comes with it, so it seems kind of wasteful not to take advantage of it, you know."
"It's the estate that goes with the title, for you, Mamma," said Beechy (she invariably pronounces her parent "Momma"). "You know you just love being a Countess. You're happier than I ever was with a new doll that opened and shut its eyes."
"It's the estate that comes with the title, for you, Mom," said Beechy (she always pronounces her parent "Mom"). "You know you love being a Countess. You're happier than I ever was with a new doll that could open and close its eyes."
"Don't be silly, Beechy. Little girls should be seen and not heard. As I was saying, I thought it better to use the title. That was the advice of Prince Dalmar-Kalm, of whom I've bought this estate in some part of Austria, or I think, Dalmatia—I'm not quite sure about the exact situation yet, as it's all so recent. But to get used to bearing the title, it seemed best to begin right away, so I registered as the Countess Dalmar when we came to the Cap Martin Hotel a week ago."
"Don't be ridiculous, Beechy. Little girls should be seen and not heard. Anyway, as I was saying, I thought it was better to use the title. That was the advice of Prince Dalmar-Kalm, from whom I bought this estate in some part of Austria, or maybe Dalmatia—I’m not exactly sure about the location yet since it’s all so new. But to get used to the title, it seemed best to start right away, so I registered as the Countess Dalmar when we arrived at the Cap Martin Hotel a week ago."
[Pg 21] "Quite sensible, Countess," I said without looking at Beechy-of-the-Attendant-Imps. "I know Prince Dalmar-Kalm well by reputation, though I've never happened to meet him. He's a very familiar figure on the Riviera." (I might have added, "especially in the Casino at Monte Carlo," but I refrained, as I had not yet learned the Countess's opinion of gambling as an occupation.) "Did you meet him here for the first time?"
[Pg 21] "That makes sense, Countess," I said without glancing at Beechy-of-the-Attendant-Imps. "I'm familiar with Prince Dalmar-Kalm by reputation, although I've never actually met him. He's quite a well-known figure on the Riviera." (I could have added, "especially in the Casino at Monte Carlo," but I held back since I hadn't yet figured out the Countess's views on gambling as a profession.) "Did you meet him here for the first time?"
"No; I met him in Paris, where we stopped for a while after we crossed, before we came here. I was so surprised when I saw him at our hotel the very day after we arrived! It seemed such a coincidence, that our only acquaintance over on this side should arrive at the same place when we did."
"No; I met him in Paris, where we took a break for a bit after crossing over, before we came here. I was so surprised to see him at our hotel the very day after we got here! It felt like such a coincidence that our only connection on this side showed up at the same place we did."
"When is a coincidence not a coincidence?" pertly inquired Miss Beechy. "Can you guess that conundrum, Cousin Maida?"
"When is a coincidence not a coincidence?" Miss Beechy asked playfully. "Can you figure out that puzzle, Cousin Maida?"
"You naughty girl!" exclaimed her mother.
"You naughty girl!" her mother exclaimed.
"Well, you like me to be childish, don't you? And it's childish to be naughty."
"Well, you want me to act childish, don’t you? And being naughty is childish."
"Come, we'll go home at once," said the Countess, uneasily; and followed by the tall girl and the little one, she tottered away, sweeping yards of chiffon.
"Come on, let's head home right now," said the Countess, feeling uneasy; and with the tall girl and the little one trailing behind her, she wobbled away, dragging lengths of chiffon.
"I do hope she won't wear things like that when she's in—ahem!—our motor-car," I remarked sotto voce, as Terry and I stood at the gate, watching, if not speeding, our parting guests.
"I really hope she won't wear stuff like that when she's in—um!—our motor car," I said sotto voce, as Terry and I stood at the gate, watching, if not rushing, our departing guests.
"I doubt very much if she'll ever be there," prophesied Terry, looking handsome and thoroughly Celtic, wrapped in his panoply of gloom.
"I really don't think she'll ever be there," predicted Terry, looking charming and totally Celtic, wrapped up in his overall sadness.
"Come away in, while I see if I can find you 'The harp that once through Tara's halls,' to play your own funeral dirge on," said I. "You look as if it would be the only thing to do you any good."
"Come on in, while I see if I can find you 'The harp that once through Tara's halls' to play your own funeral song on," I said. "You look like it would be the only thing that would do you any good."
"It would certainly relieve my feelings," replied Terry, "but I could do that just as well by punching your head, which would be simpler. Of all the infernal—"
"It would definitely make me feel better," Terry replied, "but I could achieve that just as easily by punching you in the face, which would be simpler. Of all the damn—"
"Now don't be brutal!" I implored. "You were quite pleasant [Pg 22] before the ladies. Don't be a whited sepulchre the minute their backs are turned. Think what I've gone through since I was alone with you last, you great hulking animal."
"Now don’t be harsh!" I pleaded. "You were really nice [Pg 22] when the ladies were around. Don’t act all holier-than-thou as soon as they're not here. Consider what I've been through since we were last alone together, you big, clumsy brute."
"Animal yourself!" Terry had the ingratitude to retort. "What have I gone through, I should like to ask?"
"Animal yourself!" Terry had the nerve to reply. "What have I been through, I’d like to ask?"
"I don't know what you've gone through, but I know how you behaved," I returned, as we walked back to the magnolia tree. "Like a sulky barber's block—I mean a barber's sulky block. No, I—but it doesn't signify. Hullo, there's the universal provider, carrying off the tray. Félicité, mon ange, say how you summoned that tea and those cakes and cream from the vasty deep?"
"I don't know what you've been through, but I know how you acted," I replied as we walked back to the magnolia tree. "Like a sulky barber's pole—I mean a barber's moody block. No, I—but it doesn't matter. Hey, there's the universal provider, taking away the tray. Félicité, my angel, tell me how you magically summoned that tea and those cakes and cream from nowhere?"
"What Monsieur is pleased to mean, I know not," my fourteen-stone angel replied. "I visited with haste a friend of mine at the hotel, and I came back with the things—that is all. It was an inspiration," and she sailed away, her head in the air.
"What Monsieur means, I don't know," my fourteen-stone angel answered. "I quickly visited a friend of mine at the hotel, and I came back with the things—that's all. It was a sudden idea," and she walked away with her head held high.
Terry and I went into the house, for the sun had left the high-walled garden, and besides, the talk we were going to have was more suitable to that practical region, my smoking-room-study-den, than to the romantic shade of a magnolia tree.
Terry and I entered the house because the sun had set in the high-walled garden, and the conversation we were about to have was better suited for my smoking-room-study-den than the romantic shade of a magnolia tree.
We unpocketed our pipes, and smoked for several minutes before we spoke. I vowed that Terry should begin; but as he went on puffing until I had counted sixty-nine slowly, I thought it simpler to unvow the vow before it had had time to harden.
We took out our pipes and smoked for a few minutes before saying anything. I promised that Terry would start, but since he kept puffing while I counted to sixty-nine slowly, I decided it was easier to take back my promise before it became too serious.
"A penny for your thoughts, Paddy," was the sum I offered with engaging lightness. "Which is generous of me, as I know them already. You are thinking of Her."
"A penny for your thoughts, Paddy," I said with a playful tone. "Which is generous of me since I already know what you're thinking. You're thinking about Her."
Teddy forgot to misunderstand, which was a bad sign.
Teddy forgot to get things wrong, which was a bad sign.
"If it weren't for Her, I'd have got out of the scrape at any price," said he, bold as brass. "But I'm sorry for that beautiful creature. She must lead a beastly life, between a silly, overdressed woman and a pert minx. Poor child, she's evidently as hard up as I am, or she wouldn't stand it. She's miserable with them, I could see."
"If it weren't for her, I would have gotten out of the situation at any cost," he said, confidently. "But I feel sorry for that beautiful girl. She must have a terrible life, caught between a ridiculous, over-the-top woman and a sassy little thing. Poor girl, she must be struggling just as much as I am, or she wouldn't put up with it. She's clearly unhappy with them, I could tell."
"So you consented to fall into my web, rather than leave her to [Pg 23] their mercy."
"So you chose to get caught in my trap, instead of leaving her at [Pg 23] their mercy."
"Not exactly that, but—well, I can't explain it. The die's cast, anyhow. I'm pledged to join the menagerie. But look here, Ralph, do you understand what you've let me in for?"
"Not exactly that, but—well, I can't explain it. The decision is made, anyway. I'm committed to joining the menagerie. But listen, Ralph, do you understand what you've gotten me into?"
"For the society of three charming Americans, two of whom are no doubt worth their weight in gold."
"For the company of three delightful Americans, two of whom are definitely worth their weight in gold."
"It's precisely their weight that's on my mind at this moment. You may know one or two little things, my dear boy, but among them motoring is not, otherwise when you were putting that mad advertisement into your pink rag, you would have stopped to reflect that a twelve-horse power car is not expected to carry five grown persons up airy mountains and down rushy glens. Europe isn't perfectly flat, remember."
"It's exactly their weight that's on my mind right now. You might know a thing or two, my dear boy, but motoring isn't one of them. Otherwise, when you were adding that crazy ad to your pink paper, you would have paused to think that a twelve-horsepower car isn't meant to carry five grown people up steep mountains and down rushing valleys. Europe isn't completely flat, you know."
"Only four of us are grown up. Beechy's an Infant Phenomenon."
"Only four of us are adults. Beechy is a child prodigy."
"Infant be hanged. She's sixteen if she's a day."
"That kid should be hanged. She's sixteen if she's a day."
"Her mother ought to know."
"Her mom should know."
"She doesn't want any one else to know. Anyway, I'm big enough to make up the difference. And besides, my car's not a new one. I paid a thumping price for her, but that was two years ago. There have been improvements in the make since."
"She doesn't want anyone else to know. Anyway, I'm old enough to cover the difference. Plus, my car isn't new. I paid a hefty price for it, but that was two years ago. There have been upgrades to the model since then."
"Do you mean to tell me that car of yours can't carry five people half across the world if necessary?"
"Are you seriously saying that your car can't take five people halfway across the world if it needs to?"
"She can, but not at an exciting speed; and Americans want excitement. Not only that, but you saw for yourself that they expect a handsome car of the latest make, shining with brass and varnish. Amateurs always do. What will they say when my world-worn old veteran bursts, or rather bumbles, into view?"
"She can, but not at a thrilling speed; and Americans crave excitement. Not only that, but you saw for yourself that they expect a flashy car of the latest model, gleaming with chrome and polish. Amateurs always do. What will they think when my tired old veteran shows up, or rather stumbles, into view?"
I felt slightly crestfallen, for the first time. When one is an editor, one doesn't like to think one has been caught napping. "You said you ought to get two hundred pounds for your Panhard, if you sold it," I reminded him. "That's a good deal of money. Naturally I thought the motor must be a fairly decent one, to command that price after several seasons' wear and tear."
I felt a bit let down for the first time. When you're an editor, you really don't want to think you've been caught off guard. "You mentioned you should get two hundred pounds for your Panhard if you sold it," I reminded him. "That's quite a bit of money. Naturally, I figured the engine must be in pretty good shape to fetch that price after several seasons of use."
Terry fired up instantly, as I had hoped he would; for his car [Pg 24] is the immediate jewel of his soul. "Decent!" he echoed. "I should rather think she is. But just as there's a limit to your intelligence, so is there a limit to her power, and I don't want it to come to that. However, the thing's gone too far for me to draw back. It must depend upon the ladies. If they don't back out when they see my car, I won't."
Terry got excited right away, just as I expected; his car [Pg 24] is the pride of his life. "Nice!" he repeated. "I’d say she definitely is. But just like there's a limit to your smarts, there's a limit to her capabilities, and I hope it doesn’t get to that point. Still, it’s too late for me to pull back now. It all depends on the ladies. If they don’t bail when they see my car, then I won’t either."
"To all intents and purposes it's my car now," said I. "You made her over to me before witnesses, and I think I shall have her smartened up with a bit of red paint and a crest."
"Basically, it's my car now," I said. "You transferred it to me in front of witnesses, and I think I'll get it spiffed up with some red paint and a crest."
"If you try on anything like that, you can drive her yourself, for I won't. I like her old grey dress. I wouldn't feel at home with her in any other. And she sha'n't be trimmed with crests to make an American holiday. She goes as she is, or not at all, my boy."
"If you put on anything like that, you can take her yourself because I won’t. I like her old gray dress. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her in anything else. And she won’t be decked out with decorations for some American holiday. She goes as she is, or not at all, my boy."
"You are the hardest chap to do anything for I ever saw," I groaned, with the justifiable annoyance of a martyr who has failed to convert a pagan hero. "As if you hadn't made things difficult enough already by 'Mistering' yourself. At any moment you may be found out—though, on second thoughts, it won't matter a rap if you are. If you're a mere Mister, you are often obliged to appear before an unsympathetic police magistrate for pretending to be a Lord. But I never heard of a Lord's falling foul of the law for pretending to be a Mister."
"You are the hardest guy to do anything for that I’ve ever seen," I complained, with the understandable frustration of someone who’s tried to convert a stubborn skeptic. "As if you haven’t complicated things enough by calling yourself 'Mister.' At any moment, you could be exposed—though, on second thought, it wouldn’t matter at all if you were. If you’re just a Mister, you often have to face an unsympathetic judge for pretending to be a Lord. But I’ve never heard of a Lord getting in trouble for pretending to be a Mister."
"If you behave yourself, there isn't much danger of my being found out by any of the people most concerned, during a few weeks' motoring on the Continent; but it's to be hoped they won't select England, Scotland, or Ireland for their tour."
"If you act responsibly, there's not much risk of me getting caught by any of the people involved while we're driving around on the Continent for a few weeks; but let's hope they don’t choose England, Scotland, or Ireland for their trip."
"We can tell them that conditions are less favourable for motoring at home—which is quite true, judging from the complaints I hear from motor-men."
"We can tell them that the conditions for driving at home aren't as good—which is definitely true, based on the complaints I hear from drivers."
"But look here; you let me in for this. What I did was on the spur of the moment, and in self-defence. I didn't dream then that I should be, first cornered by you, then led on by circumstances into engaging as chauffeur, to drive my own car on such a wild-goose chase."
"But look, you brought me into this. What I did was impulsive and out of self-defense. I had no idea that I would first be trapped by you, and then pushed by circumstances into working as a chauffeur, driving my own car on such a pointless chase."
[Pg 25] "It's a wild goose that will lay golden eggs. Fifteen guineas a day, my son; that's the size of the egg which that beneficent bird will drop into your palm every twenty-four hours. Deduct the ladies' hotel expenses—say three guineas a day; expenses for yourself and car we'll call two guineas more (of course I pay my own way), that leaves you as profit ten guineas daily; seventy guineas a week, or at the rate of three thousand five hundred guineas per annum. Before you'd spent your little patrimony, and been refused an—er—fratrimony, you weren't half as well off as that. You might do worse than pass your whole life as a Personal Conductor on those terms. And instead of thanking the wise friend who has caught this goose for you, and is willing to leave his own peaceful duck for your sake, with no remuneration, you abuse him."
[Pg 25] "It's a wild goose that will lay golden eggs. Fifteen guineas a day, my son; that's how much that generous bird will drop into your hands every twenty-four hours. Take away the ladies' hotel expenses—let's say three guineas a day; then add in your own costs and car, which we'll estimate at two guineas more (of course, I pay my own way), that leaves you with a profit of ten guineas daily; seventy guineas a week, or at a rate of three thousand five hundred guineas a year. Before you blew through your inheritance and were turned down for—um—a marriage, you weren't nearly as well off as that. You could do worse than spend your whole life as a Personal Conductor on those terms. And instead of thanking the wise friend who has caught this goose for you, and is willing to leave his own peaceful life for your benefit, without any pay, you criticize him."
"My dear fellow, I'm not exactly abusing you, for I know you meant well. But you've swept me off my feet, and I'm not at home yet in mid air."
"My dear friend, I'm not really taking issue with you, because I know you had good intentions. But you've completely caught me off guard, and I'm still trying to find my footing up here."
"You can lie on your back and roll in gold in the intervals of driving the car. I promise not to give you away. Still, it's a pity you wouldn't consent to trading a little on your title, which Heaven must have given you for some good purpose. As it is, you've made my tuppenny-ha'penny baronetcy the only bait, and that's no catch at all for an American millionairess, fishing for something big in Aristocracy Pond. Why, when that Prince of hers discovers what is doing, he will persuade the fair Countess Dalmar that she's paying a high price for a Nobody—a Nobody-at-All."
"You can lie on your back and roll in gold during your breaks from driving. I promise I won't spill your secret. Still, it's a shame you won't consider trading a bit on your title, which Heaven must have given you for a reason. As it stands, you've made my cheap baronetcy the only lure, and that's not much for an American millionaire woman looking for something significant in Aristocracy Pond. When that Prince of hers finds out what's going on, he'll convince the lovely Countess Dalmar that she's paying a high price for a Nobody—literally a Nobody."
"What makes you think he doesn't know already, as he evidently followed the party here, and must be constantly dangling about?"
"What makes you think he doesn't already know, since he clearly followed the group here and must be hanging around all the time?"
"My detective instinct, which two seasons of pink journalism has developed. Mrs. Kidder saw the advertisement this morning, and was caught by it. May Sherlock Holmes cut me in the street if Prince Dalmar-Kalm hasn't been away for the day, doubtless at Monte Carlo where he has lost most of his own money, and [Pg 26] will send the Countess's to find it, if she gives him the chance."
"My detective instincts, honed over two seasons of sensational journalism, kicked in. Mrs. Kidder saw the ad this morning and was intrigued by it. May Sherlock Holmes cut me in the street if Prince Dalmar-Kalm hasn’t been gone for the day, probably off to Monte Carlo where he’s lost most of his money, and [Pg 26] will have the Countess's money sent to find it, if she gives him the opportunity."
"I never saw the fellow, or heard of him, so far as I can remember," said Terry thoughtfully. "What's he like? Middle-aged, stout?"
"I’ve never seen the guy or heard of him, as far as I can remember," Terry said thoughtfully. "What’s he like? Middle-aged, heavyset?"
"He looks thirty, so he is probably forty; for if you look your age, you are probably ten years past it—though that sounds a bit more Irish than Scotch, eh? And he's far from being stout. From a woman's point of view, I should say he might be very attractive. Tall; thin; melancholy; enormous eyes; moustache waxed; scar on forehead; successful effect of dashing soldier, but not much under the effect, I should say, except inordinate self-esteem, and a masterly selfishness which would take what it wanted at almost any cost to others. There's a portrait of Prince Dalmar-Kalm for you."
"He looks about thirty, so he’s probably closer to forty; because if you actually look your age, you're likely ten years past it—though that might sound more Irish than Scottish, right? And he’s definitely not heavyset. From a woman’s perspective, I’d say he could be quite attractive. Tall; thin; somewhat sad-looking; huge eyes; a waxed mustache; a scar on his forehead; he gives off the vibe of a dashing soldier, but that's mostly just an appearance, with a big dose of self-importance and a selfishness that would take whatever he wanted at almost any cost to others. There's a portrait of Prince Dalmar-Kalm for you."
"Evidently not the sort of man who ought to be allowed to hang about young girls."
"Evidently not the kind of guy who should be allowed to hang around young girls."
"Young girls with money. Don't worry about the vestal virgin. He won't have time in this game to bother with poor relations, no matter how pretty they may happen to be."
"Young girls with money. Don't stress over the virgin. He won't have time in this game to deal with poor relatives, no matter how attractive they might be."
Terry still looked thoughtful. "Well, if we are going in for this queer business, we'd better get off as soon as possible," said he.
Terry still looked deep in thought. "Well, if we're going to go through with this strange thing, we should leave as soon as we can," he said.
I smiled in my sleeve. "St. George in a stew to get the Princess out of the dragon's claws," I thought; but I refrained from speaking the thought aloud. Whatever the motive, the wish was to be encouraged. The sooner the wild goose laid the first golden egg the better. Fortunately for my private interests, the season was waning and the coming week would see the setting of my Riviera Sun until next November. I could therefore get away, leaving what remained of the work to be done by my "sub"; and I determined that, Prince or no Prince, luncheon to-morrow should not pass without a business arrangement being completed between [Pg 27] the parties.
I smiled to myself. "St. George in a panic trying to rescue the Princess from the dragon's grip," I thought; but I held back from saying it out loud. No matter the reason, the wish should be encouraged. The sooner the wild goose laid its first golden egg, the better. Luckily for my personal interests, the season was winding down, and the upcoming week would bring the end of my Riviera Sun until next November. So, I could leave, letting my assistant handle the remaining work; and I decided that, Prince or no Prince, lunch tomorrow would definitely involve finalizing a business arrangement between [Pg 27] the parties.
III
A CHAPTER OF REVENGES
Mrs. Kidder, alias the Countess Dalmar, either had a fondness for lavish hospitality or else she considered us exceptionally distinguished guests. Our feast was not laid in a private dining-room (what is the good of having distinguished guests if nobody is to know you've got them?); nevertheless, it was a feast. The small round table, close to one of the huge windows of the restaurant, was a condensed flower-show. Our plates and glasses (there were many of the latter) peeped at us from a bower of roses, and bosky dells of greenery. The Countess and the Infant were dressed as for a royal garden party, and Terry and I would have felt like moulting sparrows had not Miss Destrey's plain white cotton kept us in countenance.
Mrs. Kidder, also known as the Countess Dalmar, either loved throwing extravagant parties or thought we were incredibly special guests. Our meal wasn’t served in a private dining room (what's the point of having distinguished guests if no one knows you have them?); still, it was a feast. The small round table, situated by one of the large windows in the restaurant, looked like a mini flower show. Our plates and glasses (and there were plenty of those) peeked out from a lush arrangement of roses and greenery. The Countess and the Infant were dressed as if for a royal garden party, and Terry and I would have felt like awkward sparrows if Miss Destrey's simple white cotton dress hadn't made us feel a bit more at ease.
Mrs. Kidder had evidently not been comfortably certain whether we ought not to march into the restaurant arm in arm, but the penniless goddess (who had perhaps been brought to Europe as a subtle combination of etiquette-mistress and ladies'-maid) cut the Gordian knot with a quick glance, to our intense relief; and we filed in anyhow, places being indicated to Terry and me on either hand of our hostess.
Mrs. Kidder clearly wasn't quite sure if we should walk into the restaurant arm in arm, but the broke goddess (who maybe came to Europe as a clever blend of etiquette coach and personal assistant) quickly resolved the situation with a glance, much to our relief; and we went in regardless, with our hostess showing Terry and me our seats on either side of her.
A painted satin menu, with a list of dishes as long as Terry's tailor's bills, lay beside each plate. We were to be provided with all the luxuries which were not in season; those which were would have been far too common for an American millionairess, such as I began to be more and more convinced that our hostess [Pg 28] was. It was the kind of luncheon which calls for rare and varied wines, just as certain poetical recitations call for a musical accompaniment; therefore the Countess's first words on sitting down at the table came as a shock.
A beautifully designed satin menu, with a list of dishes as long as Terry's tailor bills, sat next to each plate. We were going to be treated to all the luxuries that weren't in season; those that were would have been far too ordinary for an American millionairess, which I was starting to believe our hostess [Pg 28] was. It was the kind of lunch that called for exceptional and diverse wines, just like some poetic readings call for a musical background; so, the Countess's first words upon sitting down at the table were quite surprising.
"Now, Sir Ralph," said she, "you must just order any kind of wine you and Mr. Ter—Barrymore like. Mr. Kidder never would have alcohol in the house, except for sickness, and we three drink only water, so I don't know anything about it; but I want that you gentlemen should suit your own taste. Do make the waiter bring you something real nice."
"Well, Sir Ralph," she said, "just order whatever kind of wine you and Mr. Ter—Barrymore prefer. Mr. Kidder never allowed alcohol in the house, except for when someone was sick, and the three of us only drink water, so I’m not familiar with it; but I want you gentlemen to choose what you like. Please have the waiter bring you something really nice."
My sparkling visions of Steinberger Cabinet, Cos d'Estournel, or an "Extra Sec" of '92, burst like a rainbow bubble. Here was one of life's little tragedies.
My exciting dreams of Steinberger Cabinet, Cos d'Estournel, or a '92 "Extra Sec" popped like a rainbow bubble. This was one of life's small tragedies.
Neither Terry nor I are addicted to looking too lovingly on wine when it is red, or even pale golden; still, at this moment I had a sharp pang of sympathy for Tantalus. To be sure, that hint as to "something real nice" grudged no expense; but I must have been blest with more cool, unadulterated "cheek" than two seasons of journalism had given me, to order anything appropriate while our hostess drowned her generous impulses in iced water.
Neither Terry nor I are obsessed with admiring wine, whether it's red or even pale golden; still, at this moment, I felt a strong sympathy for Tantalus. Sure, that suggestion about "something really nice" didn't hold back on costs; but I must have had more boldness than two seasons of journalism had given me to order anything fitting while our hostess quenched her generous intentions with iced water.
With a wooden expression of countenance, I asked Terry what he would have.
With a blank expression, I asked Terry what he wanted.
"Water, thanks," he replied airily, and if, instead of gazing at the ceiling with elaborate interest, he had allowed his eye to meet mine at that instant, a giggle might have burst over that luncheon-table, out of a clear sky. Perforce, I felt obliged to follow his lead, for only a guzzling brute could have bibbed alone, surrounded by four teetotallers; but, deprived of even an innocent glass of Riviera beer, my soul thirsted for a revenge which could not be quenched with iced water; and I took it without waiting for repentance to set in.
"Water, thanks," he said casually, and if he had looked at me instead of staring at the ceiling with fake interest, I might have laughed out loud at that lunch table, out of nowhere. I felt like I had to go along with him because only a total savage would drink alone with four non-drinkers around; but without even a harmless glass of Riviera beer, I craved a revenge that iced water couldn't satisfy—and I took it without waiting for guilt to hit me.
"You see, Barrymore is a chauffeur," I carefully explained "and it's en regle for him, even though an amateur, to drink nothing stronger than cold water. You will notice during our [Pg 29] trip, Countess, how conscientious he is in sticking to this pledge."
"You see, Barrymore is a chauffeur," I explained carefully, "and it's en regle for him, even though he's an amateur, to drink nothing stronger than cold water. You'll notice during our [Pg 29] trip, Countess, how dedicated he is to keeping this promise."
I felt that Terry's eye launched a dagger; but it was now my turn to be interested in the ceiling.
I felt like Terry's glance pierced me like a dagger; but now it was my turn to focus on the ceiling.
"Oh, how good of him!" exclaimed our hostess. "I do admire that in you, Mr. Tarrymore." (I couldn't help wondering incidentally whether the Countess would have had such frequent lapses of memory regarding Terry's name, if she knew that he was the brother of a marquis; but it may be that I wronged her.) "We shall feel as safe as if we were in a house when you are driving, now we know what kind of a man you are, shan't we, girls?"
"Oh, how kind of him!" our hostess exclaimed. "I really admire that about you, Mr. Tarrymore." (I couldn't help but wonder if the Countess would have forgotten Terry's name so often if she knew he was the brother of a marquis; but maybe I'm judging her unfairly.) "We'll feel as secure as if we were in a house when you're driving, now that we know what kind of man you are, won't we, girls?"
Poor Terry, irrevocably pledged to blue ribbonism for the term of his natural chauffeurdom! I could have found it in my heart to pity him, had not the iced water come jingling ironically round at that moment. Let it then be upon his own head, with ice or without.
Poor Terry, stuck with the blue ribbon thing for as long as he’s a chauffeur! I might have felt sorry for him, but just then, the iced water came clinking around in a mocking way. So let it be on him, with ice or without.
And this came of lunching with the widow of a Simon Pure Kidder! for I had no longer the slightest doubt as to the middle name of the deceased. With a brain almost cruelly clear and cold, I entered the lists with the lady's conversational gifts, and after a spirited but brief tourney, conquered with flying colours. My aim was to pin her down to something definite ... like an impaled butterfly: hers was to flutter over a vast garden of irrelevances; but she did not long evade the spike. I tipped its point with the subtly poisonous suggestion that all arrangements must be made in the hour, otherwise complications might arise. There seemed to be so many people who had been attracted by that simple little advertisement of mine, and really, I must be able to say that I and my car were engaged for such and such a date—preferably a near one—or I should have difficulty in evading requests for an intermediate trip with others.
And this came from having lunch with the widow of Simon Pure Kidder! I no longer had any doubt about the deceased's middle name. With my mind shockingly clear and detached, I engaged in conversation with the lady, and after a lively but short exchange, I came out on top. My goal was to get her to agree on something specific ... like a pinned butterfly: hers was to flit around a vast garden of unrelated topics; but she didn’t avoid the point for long. I suggested subtly that all arrangements needed to be confirmed soon, or complications might arise. It seemed so many people were drawn in by that simple little ad of mine, and honestly, I needed to clarify that I and my car were booked for a certain date—preferably soon—or I would find it hard to dodge requests for a trip with others in the meantime.
The butterfly wriggled no more. Indeed, it hastened to assure the executioner that it was only too anxious to be comfortably pinned into place.
The butterfly stopped wriggling. In fact, it quickly reassured the executioner that it was more than happy to be pinned down comfortably.
"When could you go, Sir Ralph?" the Countess asked.
"When can you go, Sir Ralph?" the Countess asked.
"Day after to-morrow," I answered boldly. "Could you?"
"Day after tomorrow," I replied confidently. "Could you?"
[Pg 30] She looked rather taken aback.
She looked quite surprised.
"We—er—haven't motor things yet," she demurred.
"We haven't gotten things moving yet," she replied.
"You can get 'every requisite' (isn't that the word?) in the Nice or Monte Carlo shops, if that's your only reason for delay."
"You can find 'everything you need' (is that the right term?) in the shops in Nice or Monte Carlo, if that's the only reason you're delaying."
Still the lady hesitated.
The woman still hesitated.
"Mamma's new crown isn't painted on all her baggage yet," said Beechy, living up, with a wicked delight, to her rôle of enfante terrible. "It's being done, but it wasn't promised till the end of the week. Say, Sir Ralph, don't you think she's mean not to give me even so much as half a crown?"
"Mama's new crown isn't on all her stuff yet," said Beechy, reveling in her role as the troublemaker. "It's in progress, but it wasn't promised until the end of the week. Hey, Sir Ralph, don't you think it's unfair that she won't even give me half a crown?"
What I really thought was, that she deserved a slap; but Terry spared the Countess a blush and me the brain fag of a repartee conciliatory alike to parent and child.
What I really thought was that she deserved a slap; but Terry saved the Countess from embarrassment and me from the exhausting effort of coming up with a response that would please both parent and child.
"I think we ought to warn you," he said, "that the car hasn't precisely the carrying capacity of a luggage van. Perhaps when you find that there's no room for Paris frocks and hats, you'll repent your bargain."
"I think we should give you a heads-up," he said, "that the car doesn't exactly have the cargo space of a luggage van. Maybe when you see there's no room for your Paris dresses and hats, you'll regret your deal."
"Can't we take a small trunk and a satchel apiece?" asked the Countess. "I don't see how we could do with less."
"Can’t we each take a small trunk and a bag?" asked the Countess. "I don't see how we could manage with less."
"I'm afraid you'll have to, if you go in—er—my friend's car," Terry went on ruthlessly. "A small box between the three of you, and a good-sized dressing-bag each, is all that the car can possibly manage, though, of course Moray and I will reduce our luggage to the minimum amount."
"I'm afraid you'll have to if you ride in—uh—my friend's car," Terry continued without holding back. "A small suitcase for the three of you and a decent-sized bag each is all the car can handle, though Moray and I will definitely cut down our luggage to the bare essentials."
Mrs. Kidder looked grave, and at this instant, just as I felt that Terry's future was wavering in the balance, outweighed probably by a bonnet-box, there was a slight stir in the restaurant, behind our backs. Involuntarily I turned my head, and saw Prince Dalmar-Kalm hurrying towards us, his very moustache a thunder-cloud. He could not have appeared at a less convenient time for us.
Mrs. Kidder looked serious, and at that moment, just as I felt Terry's future was hanging in the balance, probably tipped by a bonnet box, there was a slight commotion in the restaurant behind us. I couldn’t help but turn my head and saw Prince Dalmar-Kalm rushing toward us, his mustache looking like a storm cloud. He couldn't have shown up at a worse time for us.
I was sure that he had not been consulted in regard to the automobile trip; that perhaps even now he was in ignorance of the plan; and that, when he came to hear of it as he must within the next five minutes, he would certainly try (as Beechy would have [Pg 31] put it) to snatch the American ladies out of our mouths. It was like Terry's luck, I said to myself, that this evil genius should arrive at the moment when Mrs. Kidder had been mercilessly deprived of her wardrobe by a mere chauffeur. Terry had stupidly given her an opening if she chose to take it, by suggesting that she might "repent her bargain," and I was sure it wouldn't be Dalmar-Kalm's fault if she didn't take it.
I was convinced that he hadn't been consulted about the road trip; that maybe even now he was unaware of the plan; and that when he found out about it, which he would in the next five minutes, he would definitely try (as Beechy would have put it) to swoop in and take the American ladies from us. It was just like Terry's luck, I thought to myself, that this troublemaker would show up right when Mrs. Kidder had just been unfairly stripped of her wardrobe by a mere chauffeur. Terry had foolishly given her a chance if she wanted to take it, by suggesting that she might "regret her choice," and I was sure it wouldn't be Dalmar-Kalm's fault if she decided to go for it.
A second later he had reached our table, was bending low over Mrs. Kidder's hand, smiling with engaging wickedness at Beechy, and sending a dark look of melancholy yearning to catch Miss Destrey's sympathies.
A second later, he arrived at our table, leaned down over Mrs. Kidder's hand, flashed a charmingly mischievous smile at Beechy, and threw a sad, longing glance to win Miss Destrey's sympathy.
"Why, Prince," the Countess exclaimed in a loud tone, calculated to reach the ears of any neighbouring royalties, and let them see that she was as good as they were. "Why, Prince, if you're not always surprising people! I thought you were staying another day with the Duke of Messina, in Monte Carlo."
"Why, Prince," the Countess exclaimed loudly, making sure any nearby royals could hear her and realize she was just as good as they were. "Why, Prince, you always know how to surprise people! I thought you were staying another day with the Duke of Messina in Monte Carlo."
"Told you so!" my eyebrows—such as they are—telegraphed to Terry. "He has been away; only just back; pantomime demon act."
"Told you so!" my eyebrows—whatever they are—signaled to Terry. "He has been gone; just got back; pretending like a theater villain."
"I found myself homesick for Cap Martin," returned the Prince, with an emphasis and a sweeping glance which made a present of the compliment to the woman, the girl, and the child.
"I found myself missing Cap Martin," replied the Prince, with a strong tone and a sweeping glance that made the compliment clear to the woman, the girl, and the child.
"Humph," I sneered into the iced water; "lost all he'd got with him, and the money-lenders turned crusty; that's when the homesickness came on."
"Humph," I scoffed into the cold water; "lost everything he had with him, and the moneylenders got grumpy; that's when the homesickness hit."
"Well, now you're here, do sit down and have lunch with us," said Mrs. Kidder, "unless"—archly—"your homesickness has destroyed your appetite."
"Well, now that you're here, please sit down and have lunch with us," said Mrs. Kidder, "unless"—with a playful smile—"your homesickness has ruined your appetite."
"If it had, the pleasure of seeing you again would restore it;" and once more the Austrian's gaze assured each one of the three that she alone was the "you" referred to.
"If it had, the joy of seeing you again would bring it back;" and once again, the Austrian's gaze made it clear to each of the three that she alone was the "you" being talked about.
A nod and a gesture whisked a couple of attentive waiters to the table, and in the twinkling of an eye—even an American eye—a place was laid for the Prince, with duplicates of all our [Pg 32] abortive wine glasses.
A nod and a gesture brought a couple of attentive waiters to the table, and in the blink of an eye—even an American blink—a setting was prepared for the Prince, complete with copies of all our [Pg 32] failed wine glasses.
"Aha, my fine fellow, you are no friend of cold water," I said to myself in savage glee, as I acknowledged with a bow Mrs. Kidder's elaborate introduction. "You will suffer even more than we have suffered." But I reckoned without a full knowledge of the princely character.
"Aha, my good friend, you are not a fan of cold water," I thought to myself with a wicked delight, as I acknowledged Mrs. Kidder's elaborate introduction with a nod. "You will endure even more than we have." But I underestimated the noble nature of the character.
History repeated itself with an invitation to the new guest to choose what he liked from the wine card. I looked for a courteous refusal, accompanied by some such gallant speech as, that he would drink to the ladies only with his eyes; but nothing of the kind happened. He searched the list for a moment with the absorption of a connoisseur, then unblushingly ordered a bottle of Romanée Conti, which wine, he carelessly announced, he preferred to champagne, as being "less obvious." The price, however, would be pretty obvious on Mrs. Kidder's bill, I reflected; seventy francs a bottle, if it were a penny. But did this coming event cast a shadow on the Prince's contentment? On the contrary, it probably spangled its fabric with sequins. He sniffed the wine as if it had been an American Beauty rose, and quaffed it ecstatically, while Terry and I gulped down our iced water and our indignation.
History repeated itself when the new guest was invited to choose from the wine list. I expected a polite refusal, perhaps with some charming comment about how he'd only drink to the ladies with his eyes; but nothing like that happened. He scanned the list with the focus of a connoisseur, then confidently ordered a bottle of Romanée Conti, casually stating that he preferred it to champagne because it was "less obvious." The price, however, would definitely be obvious on Mrs. Kidder's bill—seventy francs a bottle, if I recall correctly. But did this upcoming expense dampen the Prince's mood? On the contrary, it likely added a little sparkle to his enjoyment. He inhaled the wine's aroma as if it were an American Beauty rose and savored it ecstatically, while Terry and I chugged our iced water, feeling both outraged and incredulous.
"You are just in time, Prince," said Mrs. Kidder, "to advise us about our journey. Oh, I forgot, you don't know anything about it yet. But we are going a tour in Sir Ralph Moray's automobile. Won't it be fun?"
"You've arrived just in time, Prince," said Mrs. Kidder, "to give us your thoughts on our trip. Oh, I forgot, you don’t know about it yet. But we’re going on a tour in Sir Ralph Moray's car. Isn’t that exciting?"
"Indeed?" the Prince ejaculated hastily; and I had the satisfaction of knowing that one swallow of the Romanée Conti was spoiled for him. "No; I had not heard. I did not know that Sir Ralph Moray was one of your friends. Has not this been suddenly arranged?"
"Really?" the Prince exclaimed quickly; and I felt a sense of satisfaction knowing that one sip of the Romanée Conti was ruined for him. "No, I hadn't heard. I didn't know that Sir Ralph Moray was one of your friends. Wasn’t this planned out of the blue?"
"It was only decided yesterday," replied the Countess; and it was revealed to me that the plump lady was not without feminine guile.
"It was only decided yesterday," replied the Countess; and it was revealed to me that the curvy lady was not without feminine charm.
"What is your car?" inquired the Prince, turning abruptly to me.
"What kind of car do you have?" the Prince asked, suddenly turning to me.
[Pg 33] "A Panhard," I answered, with a gaze as mild as milk. I knew that my answer would disappoint him, as he could pick no flaws in the make of the machine.
[Pg 33] "A Panhard," I replied, with a look as calm as milk. I knew my answer would let him down since he couldn't find any faults in the quality of the machine.
"What horse-power?" he continued his catechism.
"What horsepower?" he continued his questioning.
"Something under twenty," I conservatively replied.
"Just under twenty," I replied cautiously.
"Twelve," corrected Terry, with a brutal bluntness unworthy of a Celt. He can be very irritating sometimes; but at this moment he was looking so extremely handsome and devil-may-care, that my desire to punch his head dissolved as I glared at him. Could any woman in her senses throw over even a titleless Terry and twelve horses worth of motor for a hat box or two and an Austrian Prince?
"Twelve," Terry corrected, with a harshness that didn't seem fitting for a Celt. He can be really annoying at times, but right now he looked so incredibly handsome and carefree that my urge to punch him faded as I glared at him. Could any woman in her right mind give up even a title-less Terry and twelve horses worth of cars for a couple of hat boxes and an Austrian Prince?
"A twelve-horse-power car, and you propose to take with you on tour three ladies, their maid, and all their luggage?" demanded Dalmar-Kalm in his too excellent English. "But it is not possible."
"A twelve-horsepower car, and you plan to take three ladies, their maid, and all their luggage with you on tour?" asked Dalmar-Kalm in his overly proper English. "But that’s impossible."
I felt suddenly as if Terry and I were little snub-nosed boys, trafficking with a go-cart.
I suddenly felt like Terry and I were just a couple of little kids, messing around with a go-cart.
"They won't need their maid, Prince," said Miss Destrey. "I know how to do Aunt Kathryn's hair; and the dear Sisters have taught me how to mend beautifully."
"They won't need their maid, Prince," Miss Destrey said. "I know how to do Aunt Kathryn's hair, and the dear Sisters have taught me how to sew nicely."
This was the first time she had opened her lips during luncheon, except to eat with an almost nun-like abstemiousness; and now she broke silence to rescue a scheme which yesterday had excited her active disapproval. The girl, always interesting because of her unusual type of beauty, gained a new value in my eyes. She excited my curiosity, although her words were a practical revelation of her place in the trio. Why did she break a lance in our defence? and had she been torn from a convent to serve her rich relatives, that she should mention the "Sisters" in that familiar and tender tone? Had her beautiful white sails veered with a new wind, and did she want to go with us, after all? Did she wish to tell the Prince in a sentence, how poor she really was? These were a few of the hundred and one questions which the Fair Maid of Destrey's charming and somewhat [Pg 34] baffling personality set going in my mind by a word or two.
This was the first time she had spoken during lunch, except to eat with almost nun-like restraint; and now she broke her silence to defend a plan she had strongly disagreed with just yesterday. The girl, always captivating because of her unique beauty, gained new significance in my eyes. She piqued my curiosity, even though her words clearly showed her status in the group. Why was she stepping in to defend us? Had she been pulled from a convent to serve her wealthy relatives, that she would mention the "Sisters" in such a familiar and affectionate way? Had her beautiful white sails caught a different wind, and did she actually want to join us after all? Did she want to convey to the Prince in one sentence just how poor she really was? These were just a few of the many questions that the Fair Maid of Destrey's charming and somewhat baffling personality stirred in my mind with just a few words.
I thought that the Prince's face fell, but Mrs. Kidder's contribution to the defence distracted my attention.
I thought the Prince looked disappointed, but Mrs. Kidder's input in the defense caught my attention.
"We don't expect to take all our luggage," she said. "I suppose some things could be sent by rail from place to place to meet us, couldn't they?"
"We don't expect to take all our luggage," she said. "I guess some things could be shipped by train from one place to another to meet us, right?"
"Of course," I assured her, before Dalmar-Kalm could enlarge upon the uncertainties of such an arrangement. "That's what is always done. And your maid could travel by rail too."
"Of course," I reassured her, before Dalmar-Kalm could elaborate on the uncertainties of such an arrangement. "That's what always happens. And your maid could take the train as well."
"She is a Parisienne," exclaimed Mrs. Kidder, "and she's always saying she wouldn't leave France for twice the wages I pay."
"She's a Parisian," Mrs. Kidder exclaimed, "and she's always saying she wouldn't leave France for twice what I pay."
"Try her with three times," suggested Beechy. But Miss Destrey was speaking again. "As I said, it doesn't matter about Agnes. Aunt Kathryn and Beechy shan't miss her; and she never does anything for me."
"Try her three times," Beechy suggested. But Miss Destrey was speaking again. "Like I said, it doesn't matter about Agnes. Aunt Kathryn and Beechy won't miss her; and she never does anything for me."
"What a pity," complained the Prince, "that my automobile is at the moment laid up for repairs. Otherwise I should have been only too delighted to take you three ladies to the world's end, if you had the wish. It is not 'something less than twenty,' as Sir Ralph Moray describes his twelve-horse-power car, but is something more than twenty, with a magnificently roomy Roi de Belge tonneau and accommodation for any amount of luggage on the roof. By the way, yours has at least a cover, I make no doubt, Sir Ralph?"
"What a shame," the Prince said, "that my car is currently in the shop for repairs. Otherwise, I would have been more than happy to take you three ladies to the ends of the earth, if that’s what you wanted. It isn’t ‘something less than twenty,’ like Sir Ralph Moray describes his twelve-horsepower car, but it’s something more than twenty, featuring a beautifully spacious Roi de Belge tonneau and plenty of room for all your luggage on the roof. By the way, I’m sure yours at least has a cover, right, Sir Ralph?"
"No," I was obliged to admit, my mouth somewhat dry—owing perhaps to the iced water.
"No," I had to admit, my mouth feeling a bit dry—maybe because of the iced water.
"No cover? How, then, do you propose to protect these ladies from the rain?" This with virtuous indignation flashing from his fierce eyes, and a gesture which defended three helpless feminine things from the unscrupulous machinations of a pair of villains.
"No cover? Then how do you plan to protect these ladies from the rain?" This was said with righteous anger shining in his intense eyes and a gesture that defended three vulnerable women from the ruthless schemes of two villains.
My ignorance of motor lore bereft me of a weapon with which to parry the attack, but Terry whipped out his sword at last.
My lack of knowledge about cars left me defenseless against the attack, but Terry finally pulled out his sword.
"The ladies will be protected by their motor coats and our rugs. I'm sure they're too plucky to sacrifice the best pleasures [Pg 35] of motoring to a little personal comfort when it may happen to rain," said he. "A roof gives no protection against rain except with curtains, and even when without them it curtails the view."
"The women will be fine in their motor coats and our blankets. I’m sure they’re too brave to give up the best parts of driving just for a bit of comfort if it happens to rain," he said. "A roof doesn’t really protect you from the rain unless you have curtains, and even without them, it blocks the view."
"Ah, it is cruel that I cannot get my car for you from Paris," sighed the Prince. "Perhaps, Countess, if you would wait a little time—a week or ten days, I might—"
"Ah, it’s so unfair that I can’t get my car for you from Paris," sighed the Prince. "Maybe, Countess, if you could wait a little bit—a week or ten days, I might—"
"But we're going day after to-morrow, aren't we, Kittie?" quickly broke in Miss Destrey.
"But we're going the day after tomorrow, right, Kittie?" Miss Destrey quickly interrupted.
"I suppose so," replied Mrs. Kidder, who invariably frowned when addressed as "Cousin Kathryn," and brightened faintly if spontaneously Kittied. "We've been here more than a week, and seen all the Nice and Monte Carlo sights, thanks to the Prince. There's nothing to keep us, although it will be about all we can do to get off so soon."
"I guess so," replied Mrs. Kidder, who always frowned when someone called her "Cousin Kathryn," but smiled a little if they called her Kittied. "We've been here for over a week and have seen all the sights in Nice and Monte Carlo, thanks to the Prince. There's no reason for us to stay, although leaving this soon will be a challenge."
"Why be hurried, Countess?" with a shrug of the shoulder half-turned from me.
"Why rush, Countess?" she said with a shrug of her shoulder, half-turned away from me.
"Well, I don't know." Her eyes wandered to mine. "But it suits Sir Ralph to leave then. I guess we can manage it."
"Well, I’m not sure." Her gaze met mine. "But it works for Sir Ralph to leave now. I think we can handle it."
"Where will you go?" inquired Dalmar-Kalm. "I might be able to join you somewhere en route."
"Where are you headed?" Dalmar-Kalm asked. "I might be able to meet you somewhere along the way."
"Well, that's one of the things we haven't quite settled yet," replied Mrs. Kidder. "Almost anywhere will suit me. We can just potter around. It's the automobiling we want. You know, this is our first time in Europe, and so long as we're in pretty places, it's much the same to us."
"Well, that's one of the things we haven't figured out yet," replied Mrs. Kidder. "Almost anywhere will work for me. We can just take our time. It's the driving we want. You know, this is our first time in Europe, and as long as we're in beautiful places, it doesn't really matter to us."
"Speak for yourself, Mamma," said Beechy. "Maida and I want to see the Lake of Como, where Claude Melnotte had his palace."
"Speak for yourself, Mom," said Beechy. "Maida and I want to see Lake Como, where Claude Melnotte had his palace."
"Oh, my, yes! In 'the Lady of Lyons.' I do think that's a perfectly sweet play. Could we go there, Sir Ralph?"
"Oh, definitely! In 'The Lady of Lyons.' I really think that's a lovely play. Can we go there, Sir Ralph?"
"I must consult my chauffeur," said I, cautiously. "He knows more about geography than I do. He ought to; he spends enough money on road-maps to keep a wife. Eh, Terry?"
"I need to check with my driver," I said carefully. "He knows more about geography than I do. He should; he spends enough on road maps to support a wife. Right, Terry?"
"There are two ways of driving to the lakes from here," he said, with a confidence which pleased me. "One can go coasting [Pg 36]> along the Italian Riviera to Genoa, and so direct to Milan; or one can go through the Roya Valley, either by Turin, or a short cut which brings one eventually to Milan."
"There are two ways to drive to the lakes from here," he said confidently, which I found reassuring. "You can coast along the Italian Riviera to Genoa, then head straight to Milan; or you can take the route through the Roya Valley, either via Turin or a shortcut that eventually leads you to Milan."
"Milan!" exclaimed Miss Destrey, with a rapt look. "Why, that's not very far from Verona, is it? And if it's not far from Verona, it can't be so far from Venice. Oh, Beechy, think of seeing Venice!"
"Milan!" exclaimed Miss Destrey, with an excited look. "Wow, that's not too far from Verona, right? And if it's not far from Verona, it can't be too far from Venice. Oh, Beechy, just imagine seeing Venice!"
"It would be easy to go there," Terry said, showing too much eagerness to fall in with a whim of the poor relation's; at least such was my opinion until, with a glint of mischief in his eyes, he added, "If we went to Venice, Countess, it would be very easy to run on if you liked, into Dalmatia and see the new estate which you told us you thought of buying, before you actually made up your mind to have it."
"It would be easy to go there," Terry said, showing too much eagerness to go along with the whims of the poor relative; at least that was my opinion until, with a spark of mischief in his eyes, he added, "If we went to Venice, Countess, it would be really easy to continue on to Dalmatia and check out the new estate you mentioned considering buying, before you decide to actually go for it."
It was all I could do to strangle a chuckle at birth. Good old Terry! Even he was not above taking a neat revenge; and the Prince's face showed how neat it was. Could it be possible that the estate in Dalmatia which carried with it a title, had any resemblance to Claude Melnotte's in that "sweet" play, "The Lady of Lyons?" I could scarcely believe that, much as I would have liked to; but it was clear he would have preferred to have the American millionairess take the beauties of her new possessions for granted.
It was all I could do to hold back a laugh at birth. Good old Terry! Even he was not above exacting a clever revenge; and the Prince's face revealed just how clever it was. Could it be possible that the estate in Dalmatia, which came with a title, bore any resemblance to Claude Melnotte's in that "sweet" play, "The Lady of Lyons?" I could hardly believe that, much as I would have liked to; but it was clear he would have preferred the American millionaire's daughter to simply accept the charms of her new possessions without a second thought.
"Oh, I have made up my mind already. I made it up before we arrived here," said the Countess.
"Oh, I've already made up my mind. I decided before we got here," said the Countess.
"She made it up in the train coming from Paris," corrected Beechy, "because she had to decide what name to register, and whether she'd have the crown put on her handkerchiefs and her baggage. But she had to cable to our lawyer in Denver before she could get money enough to pay what the Prince wanted in advance, and the answer only came back this morning."
"She figured it out on the train from Paris," Beechy clarified, "because she needed to decide what name to register and whether she wanted the crown on her handkerchiefs and her luggage. But she had to wire our lawyer in Denver before she could get enough money to pay what the Prince wanted upfront, and the response only arrived this morning."
"And what does the lawyer say?" asked the Prince, flushing, and with a strained playfulness contradicted by the eager light in his eyes.
"And what does the lawyer say?" asked the Prince, blushing, and with a forced playfulness contradicted by the eager light in his eyes.
"Just guess," said Beechy, all her imps in high glee.
"Just guess," Beechy said, her spirits high with excitement.
[Pg 37] "Lawyers are such dry-as-dust persons," remarked His Highness, hastily lifting his glass to toss off the last of the Romanée Conti. "If he is a wise man who studies his client's interests, he could not advise Madame against taking a step by which she ascends to a height so advantageous, but—"
[Pg 37] "Lawyers are such boring people," commented His Highness, quickly raising his glass to finish the last of the Romanée Conti. "If he’s a wise man who looks out for his client's interests, he wouldn’t advise Madame against taking a step that benefits her so much, but—"
"Oh, he said yes," cried Mrs. Kidder, clinging to her Countesshood.
"Oh, he said yes," shouted Mrs. Kidder, holding on to her title as Countess.
"And he put after it, 'If you will be a fool,'" added Beechy. "But he'll have to pay for that part of the cable himself."
"And he added, 'If you're going to be an idiot,'" Beechy said. "But he’s going to have to cover that part of the cable himself."
"He is my late husband's cousin," explained Mrs. Kidder, "and he takes liberties sometimes, as he thinks Simon would not have approved of everything I do. But you needn't tell everything, Beechy."
"He is my late husband's cousin," Mrs. Kidder explained, "and he oversteps sometimes, believing Simon wouldn't have approved of everything I do. But you don't have to share everything, Beechy."
"Let's talk about Venice," said Miss Destrey with a lovely smile, which seemed all the more admirable as she had given us so few. "I have always longed to see Venice."
"Let's talk about Venice," said Miss Destrey with a beautiful smile, which seemed especially impressive since she had shared so few. "I've always wanted to see Venice."
"But you didn't want to come abroad, you can't say you did," remarked Beechy the irrepressible, resenting her cousin's interference, as a naughty boy resents being torn from the cat to whose tail he has been tying a tin can. "And I know why you didn't!" She too had a taste for revenge!
"But you didn't want to come abroad; you can't say you did," Beechy said, unable to hold back, annoyed by her cousin's interference, like a mischievous kid mad about being pulled away from the cat he had been tying a tin can to. "And I know why you didn't!" She also had a sense of payback!
Miss Destrey blushed—I wondered why; and so, no doubt, did Terry wonder. (Had she by chance been sent abroad to forget an unfortunate attachment?)
Miss Destrey blushed—I wondered why; and so, no doubt, did Terry wonder. (Had she perhaps been sent away to get over a failed romance?)
"You wanted to stay with the Sisters," Beechy took advantage of the other's embarrassed silence to go on. "And you hardly enjoyed Paris at all, although everybody turned to look after you in the streets."
"You wanted to stay with the Sisters," Beechy seized the moment of the other person's awkward silence to continue. "And you barely enjoyed Paris at all, even though everyone stared at you in the streets."
"Well, now that I have come, I should enjoy seeing the places I've cared most to read about in history or poetry," said Miss Destrey quickly, "and Venice is one of them."
"Well, now that I'm here, I really want to see the places I've loved reading about in history or poetry," Miss Destrey said eagerly, "and Venice is definitely one of them."
"Maida has lived more in books than she has in real life," remarked Miss Beechy with scorn. "I know a lot more about the world than she does, although I am only—only—"
"Maida has lived more in books than in real life," Miss Beechy said with disdain. "I know a lot more about the world than she does, even though I’m only—only—"
"Thirteen," finished the Countess. "Beechy darling, would [Pg 38] you like to have some more of those marrons glacés? They aren't good for you, but just this once you may, if you want to. And oh, Sir Ralph, I should love to see my new estate. It's a very old estate really, you know, though new to me; so old that the castle is almost a ruin; but if I saw it and took a great fancy to the place, I might have it restored and made perfectly elegant, to live in sometimes, mightn't I? Just where is Schloss (she pronounced it 'Slosh') what-you-may-call-it? I never can say it properly?"
"Thirteen," finished the Countess. "Beechy darling, would you like some more of those marrons glacés? They aren't great for you, but just this once you can, if you want to. And oh, Sir Ralph, I would love to see my new estate. It's actually a very old estate, you know, though it's new to me; so old that the castle is almost in ruins; but if I visited and really liked the place, I could have it restored and made perfectly elegant, to live in sometimes, couldn't I? Just where is Schloss (she pronounced it 'Slosh') what-you-may-call-it? I can never say it properly?"
"Schloss Hrvoya is very far down in Dalmatia—almost as far east as Montenegro," replied the Prince. "The roads are extremely bad, too. I do not think they would be feasible for an automobile, especially for Sir Ralph Moray's little twelve-horse-power car carrying five persons."
"Schloss Hrvoya is pretty far down in Dalmatia—almost as far east as Montenegro," the Prince said. "The roads are really poor, too. I don't think they would be suitable for a car, especially for Sir Ralph Moray's small twelve-horsepower car with five people in it."
"I differ from you there, Prince." Terry argued, looking obstinate. "I have never driven in Dalmatia, although I've been to Fiume and Abbazzia; but I have a friend who went with his car, and he had no adventures which ladies would not have enjoyed. Our principal difficulty would be about petrol; but we could carry a lot, and have supplies sent to us along the route. I'll engage to manage that—and the car."
"I see it differently, Prince." Terry said, sounding stubborn. "I’ve never driven in Dalmatia, though I’ve been to Fiume and Abbazzia. I do have a friend who took his car there, and he didn’t have any experiences that women wouldn’t have enjoyed. Our main challenge would be finding petrol, but we could bring a lot with us and arrange for supplies to be sent along the way. I’ll make sure to handle that—and the car."
"Then it's settled that we go," exclaimed Mrs. Kidder, clapping two dimpled hands covered with rings. "What a wonderful trip it will be."
"Then it's settled that we're going," said Mrs. Kidder, clapping her two ring-covered hands. "What an amazing trip it's going to be!"
I could see that the Prince would have liked to call Terry out, but he was too wise to dispute the question further; and a dawning plan of some kind was slowly lightening his clouded eye.
I could see that the Prince wanted to challenge Terry, but he was smart enough to avoid arguing any further; a new idea was gradually brightening his troubled expression.
My wish was granted at last; something was settled. And later, strolling on the terrace, I contrived to put all that was left upon a business basis.
My wish was finally granted; something was resolved. And later, while walking on the terrace, I managed to put everything that was left on a professional footing.
Never had man a better friend than Terence Barrymore has in me; and my whole attention on the way home was given to [Pg 39] making him acknowledge it.
Never has anyone had a better friend than Terence Barrymore has in me; and my entire focus on the way home was on making him admit it.
IV
A CHAPTER OF HUMILIATIONS
After all, we did not start on the day after to-morrow. Our luncheon had been on Tuesday. On Wednesday a note came, sent by hand from Mrs. Kidder, to say that she could not possibly be ready until Friday, and that as Friday was an unlucky day to begin any enterprise, we had better put off starting until Saturday. But I must not "think her changeable, as she really had a very good reason"; and she was mine "Cordially, Kathryn Stanley Kidder-Dalmar."
After all, we didn't start the day after tomorrow. Our lunch was on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I got a note delivered by hand from Mrs. Kidder, saying she couldn’t possibly be ready until Friday, and since Friday was an unlucky day to begin anything, we should postpone starting until Saturday. But I shouldn't think she's being inconsistent, as she really had a very good reason; and she signed it “Cordially, Kathryn Stanley Kidder-Dalmar.”
Having first stated that she could not be ready, and then added her reason was good, I naturally imagined there was more in the delay than met the eye. My fancy showed me the hand of Prince Dalmar-Kalm, and I firmly believed that each finger of that hand to say nothing of the thumb, was busily working against us.
Having first said she couldn’t be ready, and then explained that her reason was valid, I naturally thought there must be more to the delay than what appeared. My imagination suggested it was the hand of Prince Dalmar-Kalm at play, and I firmly believed that every finger of that hand, not to mention the thumb, was actively working against us.
All Thursday and Friday I expected at any moment to receive an intimation that, owing to unforseen circumstances (which might not be explained) the Countess and her party were unable to carry out the arrangement they had entered into with us. But Thursday passed, and nothing happened. Friday wore on towards evening, and the constant strain upon my nerves had made me irritable. Terry, who was calmly getting ready for the start as if there were no cause for uncertainty, chaffed me on my state of mind, and I rounded upon him viciously, for was not all my scheming for his sake?
All day Thursday and Friday, I kept expecting to hear that, due to unexpected circumstances (that might not be explained), the Countess and her group couldn’t go through with the plans we’d made. But Thursday went by, and nothing happened. Friday dragged on toward evening, and the constant tension was making me irritable. Terry, who was calmly preparing for the departure as if there was no reason to worry, teased me about my mood, and I snapped at him because, after all, wasn’t all my planning done for his benefit?
[Pg 40] I was in the act of pointing out several of his most prominent defects, and shedding cigarette ashes into his suit-case as he packed, when Félicité appeared with a letter.
[Pg 40] I was in the middle of pointing out some of his biggest flaws and dropping cigarette ashes into his suitcase while he packed, when Félicité came in with a letter.
"It's from her!" I gasped. "And—she's got her coronet. It's on the envelope, as large as life."
"It's from her!" I said in surprise. "And—she's got her crown. It's on the envelope, as big as ever."
"Which means that she's ready," said the future chauffeur, examining a suit of overalls.
"Which means that she's ready," said the future driver, looking over a pair of overalls.
"Don't be so cocksure," said I, opening the letter. "Hum—ha—well, yes, it does seem to be all right, if you can ever judge a woman's intentions by what she says. She wants to know whether the arrangement stands, that we're to call for them at ten o'clock to-morrow morning, and whether we're to go rain or shine. I'll scratch off a line in answer, and say yes—yes—yes, to everything."
"Don't be so sure of yourself," I said, opening the letter. "Hmm—well, it does seem to be okay, if you can ever really tell a woman's intentions by what she says. She wants to know if the plan is still on for us to pick them up at ten o'clock tomorrow morning, and if we're going out no matter the weather. I'll quickly jot down a response and say yes—yes—yes to everything."
I did so with a trembling hand, and then gave myself up to the weakness of reaction. Upon Félicité fell the task of doing my packing, which consisted in cramming a suit of flannels, my evening things, and all the linen it would hold without bursting asunder, into a large, fitted suit-case. Terry had a suit-case too, five times better than mine (Irishmen in debt always do have things superior to those of every one else); we had motor-coats, and enough guide-books and road-maps to stock a small library; and when these were collected we were ready for the Great Adventure.
I did this with a shaking hand and then surrendered to the weakness that followed. Félicité took on the job of packing for me, which meant cramming a set of flannel clothes, my evening outfit, and as much linen as we could fit in a large, fitted suitcase without it bursting open. Terry also had a suitcase, one five times better than mine (Irishmen in debt always seem to have nicer things than everyone else); we had motor coats and enough guidebooks and road maps to fill a small library. Once we had everything together, we were ready for the Big Adventure.
When Terry visits me at the Châlet des Pins, he keeps his car at a garage in Mentone. His habit has been to put up his chauffeur close by this garage, and telephone when he wants to use the car; but the chauffeur was paid off and sent away ten days ago, at about the time when Terry decided that the automobile must be sold. He had not been in spirits for a drive since, until the fateful day of the advertisement, but immediately after our luncheon with the Countess he had walked down to the garage and stayed until dinner-time. What he had been doing there he did not deign to state; but I had a dim idea that when you went to call on a motor-car in its den, you spent hours on [Pg 41] your back bolting nuts, or accelerating silencers, or putting the crank head (and incidentally your own) into an oil bath; and I supposed that Terry had been doing these things. When he returned on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, spending several hours on each occasion, I went on supposing the same; but when at nine o'clock on Saturday morning he drove up to the garden gate after another trip to Mentone, I had a surprise.
When Terry visits me at the Châlet des Pins, he keeps his car in a garage in Mentone. He usually has his chauffeur wait nearby and calls when he wants to use the car; but he let the chauffeur go about ten days ago, around the time Terry decided to sell the car. He hadn't felt like driving since then, until the day of the advertisement, but right after our lunch with the Countess, he walked down to the garage and stayed there until dinner. He didn’t say what he was up to, but I had a vague idea that when you visit a car in its garage, you spend hours lying on your back tightening bolts, adjusting silencers, or soaking the crank head (and your own head) in oil; I figured Terry had been doing just that. When he returned on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, spending several hours each time, I kept thinking the same; but when he drove up to the garden gate at nine o'clock on Saturday morning after another trip to Mentone, I was surprised.
Terry had almost bitten off my head when I had innocently proposed to have his car smartened up to suit the taste of the Countess; but, without saying a word to me, he had been at work improving its appearance.
Terry almost blew up at me when I casually suggested that we should spruce up his car to match the Countess's taste; but without saying anything to me, he had been busy enhancing its look.
"She" (as he invariably calls his beloved vehicle) was dressed in grey as before, but it was fresh, glossy grey, still smelling of turpentine. The tyres were new, and white, and a pair of spare ones were tied onto the motor's bonnet, which looked quite jaunty now in its clean lead-coloured paint.
"She" (as he always refers to his beloved vehicle) was dressed in grey again, but it was a fresh, shiny grey, still smelling of turpentine. The tires were new and white, and a pair of spare ones were tied onto the hood, which looked quite cheerful now with its clean lead-colored paint.
The shabby cushions of the driver's seat and tonneau had been re-covered also with grey, and wherever a bit of brass was visible it glittered like pure gold.
The worn cushions of the driver's seat and backseat had been re-covered in grey, and wherever a bit of brass was visible, it shone like pure gold.
At the sound of the Panhard's sob at the gate, Félicité and I hurried down the path, armed with the two coats and suit-cases, there to be surprised by the rejuvenated car, and dumbfounded by a transformed Terry.
At the sound of the Panhard's wail at the gate, Félicité and I rushed down the path, carrying the two coats and suitcases, only to be amazed by the freshly restored car and stunned by a changed Terry.
"Mon Dieu, comme il est beau, comme ça," cried my domestic miracle worker, lost in admiration of a tall, slim, yet athletic figure, clad from head to foot in black leather. "Mais—mais ce n'est pas comme il faut pour un Milord."
"Wow, he's so handsome like that," exclaimed my amazing housekeeper, captivated by a tall, slim, yet athletic figure dressed all in black leather. "But—but that’s not how it’s supposed to be for a Lord."
"Why, Terry," exclaimed I, "I never thought—I never expected—I'm hanged if you're not a real professional. It's awfully smart, and very becoming—never saw you look better in your life. But it's—er—a kind of masquerade, you know. I'm not sure you ought to do it. If Innisfallen saw you like that, he'd cross you out of his will."
"Why, Terry," I exclaimed, "I never thought—I never expected—I'm shocked if you're not a real professional. It's really stylish, and it suits you well—I’ve never seen you look better. But it’s—um—a bit of a masquerade, you know. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to do this. If Innisfallen saw you like that, he’d cut you out of his will."
"He's dead certain to have done that already. When I engaged as your chauffeur I engaged as your chauffeur and I intend [Pg 42] to look the part as well as act it. I want this car to be as smart as it can, which unfortunately isn't saying much, and towards that end I've been doing my best these last three or four days. She isn't bad, is she?"
"He's definitely done that already. When I signed on as your driver, I committed to the role, and I plan to look the part as well as act it. I want this car to be as sharp as possible, which isn't saying a lot, and I've been putting in my best effort over the last three or four days. It's not bad, right?"
"From being positively plain, if not ugly, she has become almost a beauty," I replied. But I thought you were determined to preserve her from the sin of vanity? Why this change of mind?"
"She went from being totally plain, if not ugly, to almost beautiful," I replied. But I thought you were set on protecting her from the sin of vanity? What caused this change of heart?"
"Well, I couldn't stand Dalmar-Kalm running her down," Terry confessed rather sheepishly. "There was so little time, that half the work on her I've done myself."
"Well, I couldn't stand Dalmar-Kalm criticizing her," Terry admitted a bit bashfully. "There was so little time that I've done half the work on her myself."
"That accounts, then, for your long and mysterious absences."
"That explains your long and mysterious disappearances."
"Only partly. I've been working like a navvy, at a mechanic's shop, fagging up a lot of things I knew how to do on principle, but had seldom or never done with my own hands. I was always a lazy beggar, I'm afraid, and it was better fun to smoke and watch my man Collet making or fitting in a new part than to bother with it myself. This will be my first long trip 'on my own,' you see, and I don't want to be a duffer, especially as I myself proposed going down into Dalmatia, where we may get into no end of scrapes."
"Only partly. I've been working really hard at a mechanic's shop, handling a lot of tasks I knew how to do in theory but had rarely or never done myself. I was always a lazy guy, I'm afraid, and it was way more fun to smoke and watch my buddy Collet install a new part than to deal with it myself. This will be my first long trip 'on my own,' you see, and I don't want to look like a fool, especially since I suggested going down to Dalmatia, where we might get into all sorts of trouble."
"By Jove!" I exclaimed, gazing with a new respect at my leather-clad friend and his car. "You've got some good stuff in you, Terry. I didn't quite realize what a responsibility I was throwing on you, old chap, when I named you as my chauffeur. Except for my drives with you, I suppose I haven't been in a motor half a dozen times in my life, now I come to think of it and it always seemed to me that, if a man knew how to drive his own car, he must know how to do everything else that was necessary."
"Wow!" I said, looking at my leather-clad friend and his car with newfound respect. "You've got some real talent, Terry. I didn't fully understand the responsibility I placed on you when I chose you as my driver. Honestly, besides my rides with you, I think I've only been in a car half a dozen times in my life. Now that I think about it, I always assumed that if a guy knew how to drive his own car, he must be capable of handling everything else that needed to be done."
"Very few do, even expert drivers, among amateurs. A man ought to be able not only to take his car entirely to pieces and put it together again, but to go into a mechanic's shop and make a new one. I don't say that I can do that, but I can come a bit nearer to it than I could five days ago. I don't think that the poor old car will be such a shock to the ladies now, even after some of [Pg 43] the fine ones they must have seen, do you?"
"Very few do, even expert drivers, compared to amateurs. A person should be able not only to completely take apart their car and put it back together but also to walk into a mechanic's shop and create a new one. I’m not saying I can do that, but I can now do a bit more than I could five days ago. I don't think the poor old car will be such a shock to the ladies now, even after some of the nice ones they must have seen, do you?"
He was so ingenuously proud of his achievements, had toiled so hard, and sacrificed so much of his personal vanity in providing his employers with a suitable chauffeur, that I did not stint my commendation of him and his car. Félicité, too, was prolific in compliments. The duck, who had waddled out to the gate to see what was doing, quacked flattery; the yellow cat mewed praise; and Terry, pleased as Punch with everything and everybody, whistled as he stowed away our suit-cases.
He was genuinely proud of his accomplishments, had worked so hard, and sacrificed so much of his ego in providing his employers with a good chauffeur that I didn't hold back in praising him and his car. Félicité was also full of compliments. The duck, who waddled out to the gate to see what was going on, quacked flattery; the yellow cat meowed praise; and Terry, as happy as can be with everything and everyone, whistled as he packed away our suitcases.
The moment of departure had come. With some emotion I bade farewell to my family, which I should not see again until I returned to the Riviera to open the autumn season with the first number of the Sun. Then one last look at the little place which had become dear to me, and we were off with a bound for the Cap Martin Hotel.
The time to leave had arrived. With a heavy heart, I said goodbye to my family, whom I wouldn’t see again until I went back to the Riviera to kick off the autumn season with the first issue of the Sun. Then, one last glance at the little place that had become special to me, and we were off in a hurry to the Cap Martin Hotel.
Terry, when in a frank and modest mood, had sometimes said to me that, with all the virtues of strength, faithfulness, and getting-thereness, his car was not to be called a fast car. Thirty miles an hour was its speed at best, and this pace it seemed had been far surpassed by newer cars of the same make, though of no higher power, since Terry's had been built. This fact I took for granted, as I had heard it from Terry's own lips more than once; but as we flew over the wooded road which divided the Châlet des Pins from the Cap Martin Hotel, I would have sworn that we were going at the rate of sixty miles per hour.
Terry, when he was feeling open and humble, sometimes told me that, despite all the qualities of strength, loyalty, and persistence, his car couldn't really be considered a fast car. It could reach a maximum speed of thirty miles per hour, and it seemed that this speed had been easily outpaced by newer cars of the same model that had been made since his was built, even though they didn't have more power. I accepted this as true since I’d heard it from Terry himself more than once; but as we zoomed over the wooded road that linked the Châlet des Pins to the Cap Martin Hotel, I could have sworn we were going at least sixty miles per hour.
"Good Heavens!" I gasped. "Have you been doing anything to this car, to make her faster than she was? Help! I can't breathe."
"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Have you done anything to this car to make it faster? Help! I can't breathe."
"Nonsense," said Terry, with soothing calm. "It's only because you haven't motored for a long time that you imagine we're going fast. The motor's working well, that's all. We're crawling along at a miserable twenty miles an hour."
"Nonsense," Terry said soothingly. "It's just that you haven't driven in a while, so you think we're going fast. The engine is running smoothly, that's all. We're barely moving at a sad twenty miles an hour."
"Well, I'm glad that worms and other reptiles can't crawl at this pace, anyhow, or life wouldn't be worth living for the rest of creation," I retorted, cramming on my cap and wishing I had [Pg 44] covered my tearful eyes with the motor-goggles which lay in my pocket. "If our millionairesses don't respect this pace, I'll eat my hat when I have time, or—"
"Well, I'm relieved that worms and other reptiles can't move this fast, because otherwise life would be unbearable for everyone else," I shot back, putting on my cap and wishing I had covered my teary eyes with the motor goggles that were in my pocket. "If our wealthy women don't appreciate this speed, I'll eat my hat when I get a chance, or—"
But Terry was not destined to hear the end of that boast—which perhaps was just as well for me in the end, as things were to turn out. We spun down the avenue of pines, and in less than a lazy man's breathing space were at the door of the Cap Martin Hotel.
But Terry was not meant to hear the end of that boast—which, as it turned out, was probably for the best for me. We sped down the avenue of pines, and in no time at all, we were at the door of the Cap Martin Hotel.
Quite a crowd of smart-looking people was assembled there, and for one fond second I dreamed that they were waiting to witness our arrival. But that pleasant delusion died almost as soon as born. As the group divided at our approach we saw that they had been collected round a large motor-car—a motor-car so resplendent that beside it our poor rejuvenated thing looked like a little, made-up, old Quaker lady.
A pretty big crowd of well-dressed people had gathered there, and for a brief moment, I imagined they were waiting to see us arrive. But that nice thought faded almost immediately. As the group parted when we got closer, we realized they were huddled around a fancy car—a car so impressive that next to it, our old, refreshed vehicle looked like a frumpy, made-up elderly woman.
In colour this hated rival was a rich, ripe scarlet, with cushions to match in her luxurious tonneau. Her bonnet was like a helmet of gold for the goddess Minerva, and wherever there was space, or chance, for something to sparkle with jewelled effect, that something availed itself, with brilliance, of the opportunity.
In color, this hated rival was a deep, vibrant red, with matching cushions in her luxurious interior. Her hood resembled a golden helmet for the goddess Minerva, and wherever there was room or opportunity for something to shine with a jeweled effect, it took full advantage of the chance to dazzle.
The long scarlet body of the creature was shaded with a canopy of canvas, white as the breast of a gull, and finished daintily all round with a curly fringe. The poles which held it were apparently of glittering gold, and the railing designed to hold luggage on the top, if not of the same precious metal, was as polished as the letters of Lord Chesterfield to his long-suffering son.
The long red body of the creature was covered with a canvas canopy, as white as a seagull's breast, and finished off nicely with a curly fringe all around. The poles supporting it looked like they were made of shiny gold, and the railing meant to hold luggage on top, if not made of the same precious metal, was as polished as the letters Lord Chesterfield wrote to his endlessly patient son.
One jealous glance was enough to paint this glowing picture upon our retinas, and there it remained, like a sun-spot, even when a later one was stamped upon it. Three figures in long, grey motor-coats, exactly alike, and motor-caps, held on with shirred chiffon veils came forward, two advancing more quickly than the third.
One jealous look was enough to create this vivid image in our minds, and there it stayed, like a sunspot, even when another one was added later. Three figures in identical long grey coats and motor caps held on with gathered chiffon veils approached, with two moving faster than the third.
"How do you do, Sir Ralph? Good morning, Mr. Barrymore," Mrs. Kidder and Beechy were saying. "We're all ready," went on the former, excitedly. "We've been admiring the Prince's [Pg 45] car, which came last night. Isn't it a perfect beauty? Just look at the sweet poppy-colour, and his crest in black and gold. I never saw anything so pretty, did you?"
"How are you, Sir Ralph? Good morning, Mr. Barrymore," Mrs. Kidder and Beechy said. "We're all set," continued the former, excitedly. "We've been admiring the Prince's [Pg 45] car, which arrived last night. Isn't it absolutely gorgeous? Just look at the lovely poppy color, and his crest in black and gold. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, have you?"
"I like Sir Ralph's car," said Miss Destrey. "It's such a cool grey, and even in wind or dust it will always look neat. We shall match it very well with our grey coats and veils."
"I really like Sir Ralph's car," said Miss Destrey. "It's such a nice shade of grey, and even in the wind or dust, it always looks tidy. We'll match it perfectly with our grey coats and veils."
I could have kissed her; while as for Terry, standing cap in hand, he looked grateful enough to have grovelled at our fair champion's feet. Nevertheless, we could not help knowing in our hearts that no normal girl could help preferring that celestial peacock to our grey hen, and that Miss Destrey's wish to be kind must have outstripped her obligation to be truthful. This knowledge was turning a screw round in our vitals, when His Highness himself appeared to give it a still sharper twist.
I could have kissed her; as for Terry, standing there with his cap in hand, he looked so grateful it was like he had begged at our champion's feet. Still, deep down, we all knew that no normal girl would choose our average girl over that stunning peacock, and that Miss Destrey’s desire to be nice must have outshined her obligation to be honest. This realization was twisting our insides when His Highness himself showed up to give it an even sharper twist.
He had been standing at a short distance, talking with a small chauffeur of a peculiarly solemn cast of countenance. Now he turned and joined the ladies with a brisk step and an air of proprietorship.
He had been standing nearby, chatting with a small chauffeur who had a strangely serious expression. Now he turned and walked over to the ladies with a quick step and an air of ownership.
The fact that he was wearing a long motor-coat, of a smart cut, and a peaked cap which became him excellently, struck me as ominous. Had he caught the birds—our birds—after all, at the last moment, and had they been too cowardly to let us know?
The fact that he was wearing a stylish long coat and a peaked cap that suited him perfectly felt ominous to me. Had he caught the birds—our birds—after all, at the last minute, and were they too scared to let us know?
"Oh, good morning, Sir Ralph," said he. "So that is the famous car. Mine is a giant beside it, is it not? No doubt you and your friend are clever men, but you will need all your cleverness to provide comfortable accommodation for these ladies' luggage as well as themselves. I would not mind betting you ten to one that you will fail to do it to their satisfaction."
"Oh, good morning, Sir Ralph," he said. "So that's the famous car. Mine is a giant compared to it, isn't it? No doubt you and your friend are smart guys, but you'll need all your smarts to find a way to fit these ladies' luggage along with them. I wouldn’t be surprised if I bet you ten to one that you won’t be able to make them happy with it."
"I'll take the bet if the ladies don't mind," responded Terry promptly, those lazy Irish eyes of his very bright and dark.
"I'll take the bet if the ladies are okay with it," Terry replied quickly, his lazy Irish eyes shining brightly and darkly.
"What—a bet? Why, that will be real fun," laughed the Countess, showing her dimples. "What is it to be?"
"What—a bet? That sounds like a blast," laughed the Countess, revealing her dimples. "What are we betting on?"
A slightly anxious expression hardened the lines of the Prince's face when he found himself taken in earnest. "A thousand [Pg 46] francs against a hundred of yours shall it be, Monsieur? I don't wish to plunge my hand into your pockets," said he, shrewdly making a virtue of his caution.
A slightly anxious look tightened the lines on the Prince's face when he realized he was being taken seriously. "A thousand [Pg 46] francs against a hundred of yours, is that right, Monsieur? I don't want to dig into your pockets," he said, cleverly making a point of his caution.
"As you like," Terry assented. "Now for the test. Your luggage has come down, Countess?"
"As you wish," Terry agreed. "Now for the test. Your luggage has arrived, Countess?"
"Yes; here it all is," said Mrs. Kidder, guiltily indicating three stout hotel porters who stood in the background heavily laden. "Dear me, it does look as if it was going to be a mighty tight squeeze, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, here it all is," Mrs. Kidder said, feeling guilty as she pointed to three hefty hotel porters in the background, all carrying a lot of stuff. "Wow, it really looks like it's going to be a super tight fit, doesn’t it?"
In response to a gesture, the porters advanced in line, like the Three Graces; and counting rapidly, I made out that their load consisted of one good-sized "Innovation" cabin box, two enormous alligator-skin dressing bags, one small bag, and two capacious hold-alls, umbrellas, parasols, and a tea-basket.
In response to a signal, the porters moved forward in a line, like the Three Graces; and counting quickly, I realized that their load included one decent-sized "Innovation" cabin box, two huge alligator-skin dressing bags, one small bag, and two large hold-alls, along with umbrellas, parasols, and a tea basket.
I began to tremble for more than Terry's five pounds. I now saw all the Prince's guile. He had somehow managed to produce his car, and had, no doubt, used all his eloquence to persuade Mrs. Kidder that she would be justified in changing her mind at the last moment. That he had failed was owing either to her sense of honour or her liking for the English-speaking races over foreigners, even princely ones. But refusing to abandon hope, His Highness had pinned his last fluttering rag of faith upon the chance that our car would fail to fulfil its contract. With this chance, and this alone still to depend upon, he had probably kept his melancholy chauffeur up all night, sponging and polishing. If the Panhard refused to absorb the ladies' luggage, there would be his radiant chariot waiting to console them in the bitter hour of their disappointment.
I started to worry about more than just Terry's five pounds. I could now see all the Prince's tricks. He had somehow managed to bring his car, and he probably used all his charm to convince Mrs. Kidder that it was okay for her to change her mind at the last minute. The reason he failed was either due to her sense of honor or her preference for English-speaking people over foreigners, even if they were princes. But not giving up hope, His Highness had pinned his last bit of faith on the chance that our car would let us down. With that chance as his last hope, he likely kept his gloomy chauffeur up all night, cleaning and polishing. If the Panhard couldn't fit the ladies' luggage, there would be his shining chariot ready to comfort them in their moment of disappointment.
As Terry stood measuring each piece of luggage with his eye, silently apportioning it a place in the car, I felt as I had felt at "Monte" when, at roulette, as many as three of my hard-won five franc pieces might easily go "bang," like the sixpence of another canny Scot. Will it be rouge; will it be noir?... I could never look; and I could not look now.
As Terry stood there, sizing up each piece of luggage, mentally figuring out where it would go in the car, I felt the same way I had at "Monte" when playing roulette, knowing that I could easily lose three of my hard-earned five franc coins, just like the sixpence of another savvy Scot. Will it be red; will it be black?... I could never bear to look; and I couldn't look now.
[Pg 47] Turning to Beechy, who stood at my shoulder eagerly watching, I flung myself into conversation. "What are you laughing at?" I asked.
[Pg 47] I turned to Beechy, who was eagerly watching from beside me, and jumped into a conversation. "What are you laughing at?" I asked.
"At all of you," said the Infant. "But especially the Prince."
"To all of you," said the Infant. "But especially to the Prince."
"Why especially the Prince?" I was growing interested.
"Why the Prince in particular?" I was starting to get curious.
"I should think you'd know."
"You should know that."
"How could I know?"
"How was I supposed to know?"
"Because I guess you're pretty bright. Sometimes I look at you, and you seem to be thinking the same things I am. I don't know whether that makes me like you or hate you, but anyway it makes me give you credit for good wit. I'm not exactly stupid."
"Because I guess you're pretty smart. Sometimes I look at you, and you seem to be thinking the same things I am. I don't know if that makes me like you or hate you, but either way, it gives you credit for good wit. I'm not exactly dumb."
"I've noticed that. But about the Prince?"
"I've seen that. But what about the Prince?"
"Can't you guess how he got his automobile just in the nick of time?"
"Can’t you figure out how he got his car just in time?"
"Yes, I can guess; but maybe it wouldn't be right."
"Yeah, I can guess; but maybe it wouldn't be fair."
"And maybe it would. Let's see."
"And maybe it will. Let's find out."
"Well, the Countess heard favourably from her lawyer in Denver on Tuesday, and paid down something in advance for the Dalmatian estate."
"Well, the Countess got good news from her lawyer in Denver on Tuesday and made an advance payment for the Dalmatian estate."
"And the title. Right first time. The 'something' was eight thousand dollars."
"And the title. Got it right on the first try. The 'something' was eight thousand dollars."
"Phew!"
"Phew!"
"That's just the word for it. When she's seen the place, she'll pay the rest—eight thousand more. Quite a lot for those gold crowns on the luggage; but we all have our dolls with eyes to open or shut, and poor Mamma hasn't had any chance to play dolls till just lately. She's busy now having heaps of fun, and I'm having a little, too, in my simple childish way. Well, so long as we don't interfere with each other!... The Prince sees that Mamma can afford to buy dolls, so he would like to play with her, and me, and—"
"That's exactly it. Once she's seen the place, she'll pay the rest—eight thousand more. That's a lot for those gold crowns on the luggage, but we all have our own dreams to chase, and poor Mom hasn't had a chance to enjoy herself until recently. She's having a blast now, and I'm having a little fun too, in my own simple, childish way. Well, as long as we don't get in each other's way!... The Prince sees that Mom can afford to buy her dreams, so he wants to play with her, and me, and—"
"And he doesn't want Barrymore and me in the playroom."
"And he doesn't want Barrymore and me in the playroom."
"I thought you were bright! It made him just sick to think of you two walking off with us from under his nose. There was his automobile in Paris, and there was he here, perfectly useless, because [Pg 48] I'm sure he'd lent the auto to his uncle."
"I thought you were smart! It made him feel sick to think of you two leaving with us right under his nose. There was his car in Paris, and here he was here, completely useless, because [Pg 48] I'm sure he had lent the car to his uncle."
"To his uncle?" I echoed.
"To his uncle?" I repeated.
"Don't you say that in England, or Scotland, or wherever you come from? 'Put it up the Spout'—pawned it; and he couldn't move one way or the other till he'd got Mamma's money. The minute that was in his pocket he began to plan. The first thing he did was to tell Mamma that he had a surprise for her, which he'd been getting ready for several days, and it would be spoiled if we all went off with you and that awfully good-looking chauffeur of yours on Thursday. He said he must have till Saturday morning, and Mamma was so curious to know what the mystery was, and so afraid of hurting a real live Prince's feelings, that she was finally persuaded to wait."
"Don't you say that in England, or Scotland, or wherever you're from? 'Put it up the Spout'—means he pawned it; and he couldn't move in any direction until he got Mom's money. The moment that was in his pocket, he started planning. The first thing he did was to tell Mom that he had a surprise for her, which he had been preparing for several days, and it would be ruined if we all left with you and that super good-looking chauffeur of yours on Thursday. He said he needed until Saturday morning, and Mom was so curious to find out what the mystery was, and so worried about hurting a real live Prince's feelings, that she was finally convinced to wait."
"Oh, that is the explanation of her letter to me."
"Oh, that explains her letter to me."
"Yes. I suspected what was going on, but she didn't; having dimples makes people so soft and good-natured. I don't know what the Prince did after she'd given her word to stay, but I guessed."
"Yeah. I had a feeling about what was happening, but she didn't; having dimples makes people so sweet and friendly. I don't know what the Prince did after she agreed to stay, but I had an idea."
"He wired money to his chauffeur in Paris or somewhere, had the car got out of the clutches of that relative you referred to, and brought on here at top speed."
"He wired money to his driver in Paris or somewhere, got the car out of the hands of that relative you mentioned, and brought it here at top speed."
"But not its own speed. When it arrived here last night, it was just as spick and span as it is now."
"But not its own speed. When it got here last night, it was just as clean and neat as it is now."
"Then it must have come by train."
"Then it must have arrived by train."
"That's what I think. I bet the Prince was too much afraid some accident might happen to it on the way, and upset all his plans, to trust to having the thing driven down here by road."
"That's what I believe. I bet the Prince was too worried that something might happen to it on the way and mess up all his plans to trust having it brought here by road."
"You must be careful not to let your brain develop too fast," I pleaded, "or when you grow up, you—"
"You have to be careful not to let your brain develop too quickly," I begged, "or when you grow up, you—"
"That's such a long time off, I don't need to worry yet," Miss Kidder remarked demurely. "Do you think I look more than my age?"
"That's a long way off, so I don't need to worry yet," Miss Kidder said modestly. "Do you think I look older than my age?"
"No, but you talk more," said I.
"No, but you talk more," I said.
"How can you judge? What do you know about little girls like me?"
"How can you judge? What do you know about little girls like me?"
[Pg 49] "I don't know anything about little girls like you, because all the rest got broken; but if you'll teach me, I'll do my best to learn."
[Pg 49] "I don't know much about little girls like you, since all the others were lost; but if you teach me, I'll do my best to learn."
"The Prince is doing his best too, I guess. I wonder which will learn faster?"
"The Prince is trying his best too, I suppose. I wonder who will learn faster?"
"That depends partly on you. But I should have thought all his time was taken up with your mother."
"That partly depends on you. But I would have thought he spent all his time with your mom."
"Oh my! no. He wants her to think that. But you see, he's got more time than anything else, so he has plenty to spare for me, and Maida too. Do you know what he called us to a friend of his in this hotel? The friend's wife told her maid, and she passed it on to our Agnes, who repeated it to me because we were sending her away. 'Kid, Kidder, Kiddest.' I'm Kiddest, of course; that's easy enough; but it would save the Prince lots of trouble and brain-fag if he only knew which was 'Rich,' which 'Richer,' and which 'Richest.'"
"Oh my! No. He wants her to think that. But you see, he has more time than anything else, so he can spare plenty for me and Maida too. Do you know what he called us to a friend of his in this hotel? The friend’s wife told her maid, and she passed it on to our Agnes, who repeated it to me because we were sending her away. 'Kid, Kidder, Kiddest.' I'm Kiddest, of course; that’s easy enough; but it would save the Prince a lot of trouble and confusion if he only knew which one was 'Rich,' which was 'Richer,' and which was 'Richest.'"
"Heavens!" I ejaculated. "If you have got together all this mass of worldly wisdom at thirteen, what will you have accumulated at twenty?"
"Heavens!" I exclaimed. "If you've gathered all this worldly wisdom at thirteen, what will you have by twenty?"
"It all depends on when Mamma allows me to be twenty," retorted the little wretch. And what lengths this indecently frank conversation might have reached between us I dare not think, had not an exclamation from Terry cut it short.
"It all depends on when Mom lets me be twenty," the little brat shot back. And I can’t imagine how far this shockingly honest conversation might have gone between us if Terry hadn't interrupted with an exclamation.
"What do you say to that, Countess, and Miss Destrey? Have I won the bet?" he was demanding, his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, as he stood to survey his work.
"What do you think about that, Countess, and Miss Destrey? Did I win the bet?" he asked, with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, standing there to see the results of his work.
If I had not infinite belief in Terry's true Irish ingenuity, I would have considered the day and the bet both lost before the test had been essayed. But he had justified my faith, and there on the almost obliterated lines of the motor-car, behold a place for everything, and everything in its place.
If I didn't have complete faith in Terry's genuine Irish cleverness, I would have thought both the day and the bet were already lost before we even started. But he proved me right, and there on the nearly faded lines of the car, everything had its spot.
On one step the "Innovation" cabin-box reared itself on end like a dwarfish obelisk; a fat hold-all adorned each mud-guard, where it lay like an underdone suet pudding; the two huge dressing-bags had been pushed under the corner seats of the [Pg 50] tonneau, which fortunately was of generous dimensions, while the third and smallest one (no doubt Miss Destrey's) was so placed that it could be used as a footstool, or pushed to the front out of the way. Umbrellas and parasols stood upright in a hanging-basket especially designed for them; books and maps had disappeared into a box, which was also a shelf on the back of the driver's seat, and the tea-basket had been lashed on top of this.
On one step, the "Innovation" cabin-box stood upright like a tiny obelisk; a bulky hold-all decorated each mudguard, resting there like an undercooked suet pudding. The two large dressing bags were tucked under the corner seats of the [Pg 50] tonneau, which fortunately was quite spacious, while the third and smallest one (probably Miss Destrey's) was positioned so it could be used as a footstool or pushed to the front out of the way. Umbrellas and parasols stood upright in a hanging basket designed for them; books and maps had vanished into a box that also served as a shelf on the back of the driver's seat, and the tea basket had been secured on top of this.
The Prince's voice responded to Terry's question with ribald mirth before it could be answered by the ladies.
The Prince laughed heartily at Terry's question before the ladies had a chance to respond.
"Ha, ha, ha!" cried he, shouting with laughter at the appearance of the car; and even my lips twitched, though I would have vowed it was St. Vitus's dance if anyone had accused me of a smile. "Ha, ha, the automobile looks like nothing so much as a market-woman going home with the family provisions for a month. But will she ever get home?" Here he became spasmodic, and as he had made a present of his picturesque smile to all the lookers-on as well as to those whom it most concerned, a grin rippled over the faces of the various groups as a breeze ruffles the surface of a pond.
"Ha, ha, ha!" he laughed, bursting out at the sight of the car; even my lips twitched, though I’d swear it was St. Vitus's dance if anyone accused me of smiling. "Ha, ha, the car looks like nothing so much as a market lady heading home with a month’s groceries. But will she ever make it home?" At this, he became a bit erratic, and since he’d shared his charming smile with all the onlookers as well as those directly involved, a grin spread across the faces of the different groups like a breeze ruffling the surface of a pond.
If I could have done His Highness Prince Dalmar-Kalm a mischief at this moment, without imperilling my whole future, I would have stuck at nothing; but there is capital punishment in France, and, besides, there were no weapons handy except the ladies' hatpins. Still, it was useless denying it, the car looked, if not like a market-woman, at least like a disreputable old tramp of the motor world, with its wreaths of luggage looped on anyhow, as if it were a string of giant sausages; and I hated the Prince not only for his impertinent pleasure in our plight, but for the proud magnificence of his car, which gained new lustre in the disgrace of ours.
If I could have caused trouble for His Highness Prince Dalmar-Kalm right now without risking my entire future, I would have done anything; but there’s capital punishment in France, and besides, the only things available as weapons were the ladies' hatpins. Still, I couldn't deny it—the car looked, if not like a market vendor, at least like a shabby old drifter of the motor world, with its piles of luggage stacked haphazardly, like a chain of giant sausages; and I resented the Prince not only for his annoying enjoyment of our situation but also for the proud grandeur of his car, which shone even brighter in contrast to our disgrace.
"You have more, what do you call it in English—cheek, is it not?—than most of your countrymen, to ask the ladies whether they can be satisfied with that," he went on, between his mirthful explosions. "Chère Countess, do not let your kind heart [Pg 51] run away with you. Let me tell Sir Ralph Moray that it is impossible for you to tour with him under such conditions, which are surely not what you had a right to expect. If you will go with me, that"—pointing a derisive finger at the Panhard—"can follow with the luggage."
"You have more, what do you call it in English—nerve, right?—than most of your fellow countrymen, to ask the ladies if they can be satisfied with that," he continued, amidst his laughter. "Dear Countess, don’t let your kind heart lead you astray. Let me tell Sir Ralph Moray that it’s impossible for you to travel with him under such conditions, which surely aren’t what you had a right to expect. If you want to come with me, that"—pointing a mocking finger at the Panhard—"can come along with the luggage."
Mrs. Kidder shook her auburn head, though her dimples were obscured, and a pinkness of complexion for which she had not paid betrayed the fact that her amour propre was writhing under this ordeal. Poor little woman, I really pitied her, for even with my slight knowledge of her character, I guessed that she had dreamed of the sensation the departure en automobile of a party so distinguished would create at the hotel. She had confidingly judged the charms of the advertised car from those of the advertisers, and this was her reward. Could we blame her if, in the bitterness of mortification, she yielded to the allurement of that glittering car which was our detractor's best argument? But she was loyal on the rack.
Mrs. Kidder shook her auburn hair, although her dimples were hidden, and a flushed complexion that she hadn’t bought revealed that her self-esteem was struggling under this situation. Poor woman, I really felt for her, because even with my limited understanding of her personality, I could tell that she had imagined the buzz the departure in a fancy car of such a distinguished group would create at the hotel. She had trustingly judged the appeal of the advertised car based on the charm of its promoters, and this was her reward. Could we blame her if, in her mortification, she gave in to the temptation of that flashy car, which was the best argument of our critic? But she remained loyal, even under pressure.
"No," she said, "I never backed out of anything yet, and I'm not going to now. Besides, we don't want to, do we, girls? Sir Ralph's automobile is just as nice as it can be, and it's our fault, not his, or Mr. Barrymore's, if we've got a little more luggage than we were told we ought to take. I guess we'll get along all right as soon as we're used to it, and we shall have the time of our lives."
"No," she said, "I’ve never backed out of anything yet, and I’m not going to now. Besides, we don’t want to, do we, girls? Sir Ralph's car is just as nice as can be, and it’s our fault, not his or Mr. Barrymore's, if we have a little more luggage than we were told we should take. I’m sure we’ll manage just fine once we get used to it, and we’re going to have the time of our lives."
"Mamma, you're a brick, and I'm glad Papa married you," was Beechy's pæan of praise.
"Mom, you're amazing, and I'm glad Dad married you," was Beechy's expression of admiration.
"And I think the way our things are arranged looks really graceful," said Miss Destrey. "Mr. Barrymore has won that bet easily, hasn't he, Kitty and Beechy?"
"And I think the way our things are arranged looks really graceful," said Miss Destrey. "Mr. Barrymore has easily won that bet, hasn't he, Kitty and Beechy?"
"Yes," came faintly from the Countess and cordially from the child. And I whistled "Hail, the Conquering Hero" sotto voce, as Dalmar-Kalm, with a smile like a dose of asafœtida, counted out the amount of his lost wager.
"Yes," the Countess replied softly, and the child answered warmly. I quietly whistled "Hail, the Conquering Hero," as Dalmar-Kalm, wearing a smile that was as pleasant as a dose of asafœtida, counted out the amount of his lost bet.
"Well," he said, squaring his shoulders to make the best of a bad bargain, "you are three brave ladies to trust yourselves in a [Pg 52] machine without room, speed, or power to cross the Alps."
"Well," he said, straightening his shoulders to make the best of a bad situation, "you three are pretty brave women to trust yourselves in a [Pg 52] machine that has no space, speed, or power to cross the Alps."
"You can go to the Cathedral at Monaco and pray for us to Saint Joseph, who, Agnes told me, looks after travellers," said Beechy. "But I do think a more modern saint ought to be invented for motorists."
"You can go to the Cathedral in Monaco and pray to Saint Joseph for us, who, Agnes told me, looks after travelers," said Beechy. "But I really think a more modern saint should be created for drivers."
"I shall do better than that. I shall be your protecting saint. I shall go with you as a surgeon attends a company of soldiers," returned the Prince, with his air of grand seigneur. "That is, I shall keep as near you as a twenty-horse-power car with a light load can possibly keep to a twelve, with three times the load it's fitted to carry."
"I'll do even better. I’ll be your guardian angel. I’ll stick by you like a surgeon follows a group of soldiers," the Prince replied, with his air of grand seigneur. "In other words, I’ll stay as close to you as a twenty-horsepower car can stay to a twelve, carrying three times its usual load."
"You're not very complimentary to Mamma," glibly remarked the Irrepressible.
"You're not very nice to Mom," the Irrepressible casually commented.
"I fancy, in spite of our load," said Terry with undaunted cheerfulness, "we shall find room to stow away a coil of rope which may prove useful for towing the Prince's car over some of those Alps he seems to think so formidable, in case he decides to—er—follow us. If I'm not mistaken, Prince, your motor is a Festa, made in Vienna, isn't it?"
"I believe that, despite our load," Terry said cheerfully, "we'll manage to squeeze in a coil of rope that might come in handy for towing the Prince's car over those Alps he seems to find so intimidating, in case he decides to—uh—follow us. If I'm not mistaken, Prince, your car is a Festa, made in Vienna, right?"
"Certainly; the most successful in Austria. And mine is the handsomest car the company has yet turned out. It was a special order."
"Definitely; the most successful in Austria. And mine is the best-looking car the company has made so far. It was a special order."
"There's an old proverb which says, 'all isn't gold that glitters.' I don't know whether it's apropos to anything that concerns us or not, but we shall perhaps remember it sooner or later. Now, ladies, I think everything is shipshape, and there's nothing to keep us any longer. How would you like to sit? Some people think the best place beside the driver, but—"
"There's an old saying that goes, 'not everything that shines is gold.' I’m not sure if it applies to our situation, but I guess we’ll remember it eventually. Now, ladies, I believe everything is in order, and there’s no reason for us to stay here any longer. Where would you like to sit? Some people prefer sitting next to the driver, but—"
"Oh, I wouldn't sit there for worlds with no horse in front to fall out on in case anything happened!" exclaimed Mrs. Kidder; "and I couldn't let Beechy either. Maida is her own mistress, and can do as she likes."
"Oh, I wouldn't sit there for anything without a horse in front to fall back on in case something happens!" exclaimed Mrs. Kidder; "and I couldn't let Beechy either. Maida is her own boss and can do whatever she wants."
"If that girl is going to get in the habit of sitting by Terry day after day," I hurriedly told myself, "I might far better have let him sell his car and grow ostriches or something in South Africa. [Pg 53] That idea shall be nipped before it is a bud."
"If that girl is going to keep sitting next to Terry day after day," I quickly told myself, "I might as well have let him sell his car and raise ostriches or something in South Africa. [Pg 53] That idea needs to be stopped before it even starts."
"I fear I should take up too much room in the tonneau," I suggested with feigned meekness. "You ladies had better have it all to yourselves, and then you can be comfortable. Terry and I, on the driver's seat, will act as a kind of screen for you against the wind."
"I worry I might take up too much space in the back," I said with a fake modesty. "You ladies should have it all to yourselves so you can be comfortable. Terry and I, up front, will serve as a sort of shield for you against the wind."
"But you really don't take up nearly as much room as Maida does in her thick motor-coat," said Mrs. Kidder. "If she's not afraid—"
"But you really don't take up nearly as much space as Maida does in her heavy motor coat," said Mrs. Kidder. "If she's not afraid—"
"Of course I'm not afraid!" cut in Maida.
"Of course I'm not scared!" Maida interjected.
"Well, then, I think it would be nicer if Sir Ralph sat with us, Beechy," went on Mrs. Kidder, "unless it would bore him."
"Well, I think it would be better if Sir Ralph joined us, Beechy," Mrs. Kidder continued, "unless it would be boring for him."
Naturally I had to protest that, on the contrary, such an arrangement would be what I most desired, had I dared to consult my own selfish wishes. And I had to see the Vestal Virgin (looking incredibly interesting with her pure face and dark eyes framed with the motor-hood) helped to seat herself in fatal proximity to my unfortunate friend. Talk of a powder magazine and a lighted match!—well, there you have the situation as I felt it, [Pg 54] though I was powerless for the moment to avert a catastrophe.
Of course, I had to argue that, on the contrary, this setup would be exactly what I wanted if I’d dared to admit my own selfish desires. And I had to watch the Vestal Virgin—looking incredibly intriguing with her fresh face and dark eyes framed by the motor hood—sit down uncomfortably close to my poor friend. Talk about a powder keg and a lit match!—well, that’s how I felt about the situation, [Pg 54] even though I couldn’t do anything to prevent a disaster at that moment.
V
A CHAPTER OF ADVENTURES
The Prince let us take the lead. He could start twenty minutes later and still easily pass us before the frontier, he said. He had two or three telegrams to send, and one or two little affairs to settle; but he would not be long in catching us up, and after that the ladies might count upon his services in any—er—any emergency.
The Prince let us go ahead. He said he could leave twenty minutes later and still easily catch up to us before the border. He had a couple of telegrams to send and a few small matters to take care of, but he wouldn’t be long in catching up, and after that, the ladies could count on him for any—uh—any emergencies.
"He might better have gone on ahead and polished up that old castle of his a bit before Mrs. Kidder sees it," Terry murmured to me; but we had no right to object to the Prince's companionship, if it were agreeable to our employers, and we uttered no audible word of dissent to his plan.
"He probably should have gone ahead and spruced up that old castle of his a bit before Mrs. Kidder saw it," Terry murmured to me; but we had no right to object to the Prince's company, if our employers were okay with it, so we didn’t say anything against his plan.
Beechy and her mother had the two corner seats in the roomy tonneau, and I settled myself on the flap which lets down when the door is closed. In doing this, I was not unconscious of the fact that if the fastening of the door gave way owing to vibration or any other cause, I should indubitably go swinging out into space; also, that if this disagreeable accident did occur, it would be my luck to have it happen when the back of the car was hanging over a precipice. Nevertheless I kept a calm face. These things usually befall some one else rather than one's self; the kind of some one else you read of over your morning coffee, murmuring, "Dear me, how horrid!" before you take another sip.
Beechy and her mom had the two corner seats in the spacious back seat, and I settled on the flap that drops down when the door is closed. While doing this, I was definitely aware that if the door's latch failed due to shaking or anything else, I would probably go flying out into thin air; also, if that unpleasant accident did happen, it would probably occur when the back of the car was hanging over a cliff. Still, I kept a calm expression. These kinds of things usually happen to someone else instead of you; the type of someone else you read about over your morning coffee, saying, "Oh dear, how terrible!" before taking another sip.
Terry started the car, and though it carried five persons and enough luggage for ten (I speak of men, not women), we shot away along the perfect road, like an arrow from the bow.
Terry started the car, and even though it was packed with five people and enough luggage for ten (I'm talking about men, not women), we took off down the smooth road like an arrow from a bow.
[Pg 55] At our first fine panther bound, Mrs. Kidder half rose in her seat and seized my right arm, while Beechy's little hand clutched anxiously at my left knee.
[Pg 55] At our first sight of the elegant panther, Mrs. Kidder half stood in her seat and grabbed my right arm, while Beechy's tiny hand nervously clutched my left knee.
"Oh, mercy!" the Countess exclaimed. "Tell him not to go so fast—oh, quick! we'll be killed."
"Oh, no!" the Countess shouted. "Tell him to slow down—oh, hurry! We're going to crash."
"No, we won't, Don't be frightened; it's all right," I answered soothingly, primed by my late experience in leaving the Châlet des Pins. "Why, we're going slowly—crawling at the rate of twenty—"
"No, we won't. Don't be scared; it's fine," I replied calmly, influenced by my recent experience leaving the Châlet des Pins. "Look, we're going slowly—crawling at twenty—"
"Fifteen!" laughed our chauffeur over his shoulder.
"Fifteen!" our driver laughed, glancing back at us.
"Fifteen miles an hour," I amended my sentence wondering in what way the shock of surprise had affected the Vestal Virgin. Somehow I couldn't fancy her clawing weakly at any part of Terry's person. "You wouldn't have us go slower, would you? The Prince is sure to be watching."
"Fifteen miles per hour," I corrected my statement, curious about how the shock of surprise had impacted the Vestal Virgin. Somehow, I couldn’t picture her weakly clawing at any part of Terry's body. "You wouldn’t want us to go slower, would you? The Prince is definitely watching."
"Oh, I don't know," wailed Mrs. Kidder. "I didn't think it would be like this. Isn't it awful?"
"Oh, I don't know," Mrs. Kidder cried. "I didn’t expect it to be like this. Isn't it terrible?"
"I believe I—I'm going to like it by-and-by," gasped Beechy, her eyes as round as half-crowns, and as big. "Maida, have you fainted?"
"I think I—I'm really going to like it soon," gasped Beechy, her eyes as round as half-crowns, and just as big. "Maida, did you faint?"
Miss Destrey looked back into the tonneau, her face pale, but radiant. "I wouldn't waste time fainting," said she. "I'm buckling on my wings."
Miss Destrey looked back into the rear seat, her face pale but glowing. "I wouldn’t waste time fainting," she said. "I’m getting ready to take off."
"Wish she were a coward!" I thought. "Terry hates 'em like poison, and would never forgive her if she didn't worship motoring at the first go-off." As for me, I have always found a certain piquant charm in a timid woman. There is a subtle flattery in her almost unconscious appeal to superior courage in man which is perhaps especially sweet to an undersized chap like me; and I had never felt more kindly to the Countess and her daughter than I did at this moment.
"Wish she were a coward!" I thought. "Terry can't stand them and would never forgive her if she didn't fall in love with driving right away." As for me, I've always found a certain charming appeal in a timid woman. There’s a subtle flattery in her almost unconscious call for a man’s bravery that’s especially pleasing to someone like me; and I had never felt more fondly towards the Countess and her daughter than I did at that moment.
As Lothair with his Corisande, I "soothed and sustained their agitated frames" so successfully, that the appealing hands stole back to their respective laps, but not to rest in peace for long. The car breasted the small hill at the top of the Cap, sturdily, [Pg 56] and we sped on towards Mentone, which, with its twin, sickle bays, was suddenly disclosed like a scene on the stage when the curtains have been noiselessly drawn aside. The picture of the beautiful little town, with its background of clear-cut mountains, called forth quavering exclamations from our reviving passengers; but a few minutes later when we were in the long, straight street of Mentone, weaving our swift way between coming and going electric trams, all the good work I had accomplished had to be done over again.
As Lothair was with his Corisande, I "soothed and calmed their anxious selves" so well that the reaching hands returned to their laps, but not to stay still for long. The car climbed the small hill at the top of the Cap, strongly, [Pg 56] and we sped on towards Mentone, which, with its twin, crescent-shaped bays, was suddenly revealed like a scene on stage when the curtains have been quietly drawn back. The view of the charming little town, with its backdrop of sharply defined mountains, drew trembling exclamations from our reviving passengers; but just a few minutes later, when we were in the long, straight street of Mentone, maneuvering swiftly between the arriving and departing electric trams, all the good work I had done had to be repeated.
"I can't stand it," moaned Mrs. Kidder, looking, in her misery, like a frost-bitten apple. "Oh, can't the man see that street car's going to run us down? And now there's another, coming from behind. They'll crush us between them. Mr. Terrymore, stop—stop! I'll give you a thousand dollars to take me back to Cap Martin. Oh, he doesn't hear! Sir Ralph—why you're laughing!"
"I can't take it anymore," groaned Mrs. Kidder, looking, in her distress, like a frozen apple. "Oh, can't the guy see that streetcar is going to hit us? And now there's another one coming up behind. They’ll sandwich us between them. Mr. Terrymore, stop—stop! I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to take me back to Cap Martin. Oh, he doesn’t hear! Sir Ralph—wait, you're laughing!"
"Mamma, you'd send a mummied cat into hysterics," giggled Beechy. "I guess together we'd make the fortune of a dime museum, if they could show us now. But the cars didn't run over us, did they?"
"Mom, you'd freak out a mummified cat," Beechy laughed. "I bet together we'd be worth a fortune at a dime museum, if they could display us now. But the cars didn't run over us, did they?"
"No, but the next ones will—and oh, this cart! Mr. Terrymore's the queerest man, he's steering right for it. No, we've missed it this time."
"No, but the next ones will—and oh, this cart! Mr. Terrymore is the strangest man, he’s heading straight for it. No, we’ve missed it this time."
"We'll miss it every time, you'll see," I reassured her. "Barrymore is a magnificent driver; and look, Miss Destrey isn't nervous at all."
"We'll miss it every time, you'll see," I assured her. "Barrymore is an amazing driver; and look, Miss Destrey isn't nervous at all."
"She hasn't got as much to live for as Mamma and I have," said Beechy, trying to hide the fact that she was holding on to the side of the car. "You might almost as well be smashed in an automobile as end your days in a convent."
"She doesn't have as much to live for as Mamma and I do," said Beechy, trying to hide the fact that she was gripping the side of the car. "You might as well be in a car crash as spend your life in a convent."
Here was a revelation, but before I had time to question the speaker further, she and her mother were clinging to me again as if I were a Last Straw or a Forlorn Hope.
Here was a revelation, but before I had time to ask the speaker more questions, she and her mother were holding onto me again as if I were a Last Straw or a Forlorn Hope.
This sort of thing lasted for four or five minutes, which doubtless appeared long to them, but they were not in the least tedious [Pg 57] for me. I was quite enjoying myself as a Refuge for Shipwrecked Mariners, and I was rather sorry than otherwise when the mariners began to find their own bearings. They saw that, though their escapes seemed to be by the breadth of a hair, they always were escapes, and that no one was anxious except themselves. They probably remembered, also, that we were not pioneers in the sport of motoring; that some thousands of other people had done what we were doing now, if not worse, and still lived to tell the tale—with exaggerations.
This went on for about four or five minutes, which probably felt like a long time to them, but it wasn’t boring at all for me. I was really enjoying myself as a Refuge for Shipwrecked Mariners, and I felt a bit sad when the mariners started to get their bearings. They realized that even though their escapes seemed to be by a hair's breadth, they were still escapes, and the only ones feeling anxious were themselves. They probably also remembered that we weren’t the first to try our hand at motoring; thousands of other people had done what we were doing now, if not worse, and still lived to tell their stories—with some exaggeration. [Pg 57]
Presently the strained look left their faces; their bodies became less rigid; and when they began to take an interest in the shops and villas I knew that the worst was over. My arm and knee felt lonely and deserted, as if their mission in life had been accomplished, and they were now mere obstacles, occupying unnecessary space in the tonneau.
Right now, the tense expressions disappeared from their faces; their bodies relaxed; and when they started to show interest in the stores and villas, I knew the worst was behind us. My arm and knee felt lonely and abandoned, like their purpose in life had been fulfilled, and they were now just unnecessary things taking up space in the backseat.
As for Terry, I could see by the set of his shoulders and the way he held his head that he was pleased with life, for he is one of those persons who shows his feelings in his back. He had fought against the idea of this trip, but now that the idea was crystallizing into fact he was happy in spite of himself. After all, what could he ask for that he had not at this moment? The steering wheel of his beloved motor (preserved for him by my cunning) under his hand; beside him a plucky and beautiful girl; behind him a devoted friend; in front, the fairest country in the world, and a road which would lead him to the Alps and to Piedmont; to stately Milan and to the blue, rapturous reaches of Como; a road that would beckon him on and on, past villages sleeping under cypresses on sunny hillsides to Verona, the city of the "star-crossed lovers;" to Giotto's Padua, and by peerless Venice to strange Dalmatia, where Christian and Moslem look distrustfully into one anothers' eyes.
As for Terry, I could tell by the way he held his shoulders and head that he was enjoying life, because he is one of those people who expresses his feelings through his posture. He had been resistant to the idea of this trip, but now that it was becoming a reality, he was happy despite himself. After all, what more could he want than what he had at that moment? The steering wheel of his cherished car (saved for him by my cleverness) in his hands; next to him a brave and beautiful girl; behind him a loyal friend; ahead, the most beautiful countryside in the world, with a road that would take him to the Alps and Piedmont; to grand Milan and the stunning, enchanting shores of Como; a road that would entice him onward, past villages resting under cypress trees on sunny hillsides to Verona, the city of the "star-crossed lovers;" to Giotto's Padua, and through magnificent Venice to mysterious Dalmatia, where Christians and Muslims glance at each other with suspicion.
What all this would be to Terry I knew, even though he was playing a part distasteful to him; for if he had missed being born an Irishman, and had reconciled it to his sense of humour to be born at all, he would certainly have been born an Italian. He [Pg 58] loves Italy; he breathes the air as the air of home, drawn gratefully into the lungs after a long absence. He learned to speak Italian as easily as he learned to walk, and he could pour out liquid line after line of old Italian poetry, if he had not all a British male's self-conscious fear of making an ass of himself. History was the only thing except cricket and rowing, in which he distinguished himself at Oxford, and Italian history was to him what novels are to most boys, though had it occurred to him at the time that he was "improving his mind" by reading it, he would probably have shut up the book in disgust.
What all this meant to Terry, I understood, even though he was playing a role he didn’t enjoy; for if he had missed being born an Irishman and managed to accept being born at all, he would definitely have been born an Italian. He [Pg 58] loves Italy; he breathes the air like it’s home, inhaling it gratefully after a long absence. He picked up Italian as easily as he learned to walk, and he could recite endless lines of old Italian poetry if it weren't for the typical British guy’s awkward fear of embarrassing himself. The only things he excelled at apart from cricket and rowing at Oxford were history, and Italian history was to him what novels are to most boys, though if he had realized at the time that he was “improving his mind” by reading it, he probably would have closed the book in disgust.
He was not a stranger in the country to which we were going, though he had never entered it by this gate, and most of his motoring had been done in France; but I knew that he would revel in visiting once more the places he loved, in his own car.
He wasn’t new to the country we were heading to, even though he had never entered through this gate, and most of his driving had been in France; but I knew he would be excited to visit the places he loved again, in his own car.
"Have you ever been in Italy?" I asked the Countess, but she was evilly fascinated by a dog which seemed bent on committing suicide under our car, and it was Beechy who answered.
"Have you ever been to Italy?" I asked the Countess, but she was wickedly interested in a dog that looked like it wanted to end its life under our car, and it was Beechy who replied.
"We've never been anywhere before, any of us," she said. "Mamma and I only had our machinery set running a few months ago, but now we are wound up, goodness knows how far we'll get. As for Maida—she's no mechanical doll like us. But do you know the play about the statue that came to life?"
"We've never been anywhere before, none of us," she said. "Mom and I just got our machines up and running a few months ago, and now we are ready to go, goodness knows how far we'll make it. As for Maida—she's not a mechanical doll like us. But do you know the story about the statue that came to life?"
"Galatea?" I suggested.
"Galatea?" I proposed.
"Yes, that's the name. Maida's like that; and I suppose she'll go back as soon as she can, and ask to be turned into a statue again."
"Yeah, that's the name. Maida's like that; and I guess she'll head back as soon as she can and request to be turned into a statue again."
"What do you mean?" I ventured to inquire; for these hints of the child's about her cousin were gradually consuming me to a grey ash with curiosity.
"What do you mean?" I dared to ask; because the child's hints about her cousin were slowly turning me into a grey ash with curiosity.
"I can't tell you what I mean, because I promised I wouldn't. But that's what Maida means."
"I can't explain what I mean, because I promised I wouldn't. But that's what Maida means."
"What she means?"
"What does she mean?"
"Yes, to go back and be turned into a statue, forever and ever."
"Yeah, to go back and become a statue, for all eternity."
I ought to have been glad that the girl destined herself for a [Pg 59] colder fate than a union with a happy-go-lucky Irishman as poor as herself, but somehow I was not glad. Watching the light glint on a tendril of spun gold which had blown out from the motor-hood, I could not wish her young heart to be turned to marble in that mysterious future to which Beechy Kidder hinted she was self-destined.
I should have been happy that the girl was aiming for a [Pg 59] colder fate than being with a carefree Irishman as poor as she was, but for some reason, I wasn’t. As I watched the light catch on a strand of spun gold that had blown out from the motor hood, I couldn’t help but hope her young heart wouldn’t turn to stone in that mysterious future that Beechy Kidder suggested was meant for her.
"Perhaps I'd better make love to her myself," was the suggestion that flashed into my mind; but innate canniness sturdily pushed it out again. With my seven hundred a year, and The Riviera Sun only just beginning to shed a few golden beams, I could not afford to take a penniless beauty off Terry's hands, even to save him from a disastrous marriage or her from the fate of Galatea.
"Maybe I should hook up with her myself," was the thought that popped into my head; but my natural caution firmly pushed it aside. With my seven hundred a year, and The Riviera Sun just starting to shine a little, I couldn't afford to take a broke beauty off Terry's hands, even to save him from a terrible marriage or her from a fate like Galatea's.
Yet what a day it was in which to live and love, and motor over perfect roads through that radiant summer-land which the Ligurians loved, the Romans conquered, and the modern world comes from afar to see.
Yet what a day it was to live and love, and drive over perfect roads through that vibrant summer land that the Ligurians cherished, the Romans conquered, and the modern world travels far to see.
Though it was early in April, with Easter but a few days behind us, the sky, the air, the flowers, belonged to June—a rare, rich June to praise in poetry or song. Billows of roses surged over old pink and yellow stucco walls, or a soaring flame of scarlet geranium ran along their tops devouring trails of ivy with a hundred fiery tongues. White villas were draped with gorgeous panoply of purple-red bougainvillea; the breeze in our faces was sweet with the scent of lemon blossoms and a heavier under-tone of white-belled datura. Far away, over that polished floor of lapis-lazuli which was the sea, summer rain-clouds boiled up above the horizon, blue with the soft grey-blue of violets; and in the valleys, between horned or pointed mountains, we saw spurts of golden rain glittering in the morning sun.
Though it was early April, with Easter just a few days behind us, the sky, the air, and the flowers felt like June—a rare, vibrant June worthy of poetry or song. Waves of roses cascaded over old pink and yellow stucco walls, while bright red geraniums topped them off, choking ivy with a hundred fiery tongues. White villas were adorned with stunning displays of purple-red bougainvillea; the breeze against our faces was sweet with the scent of lemon blossoms and a deeper note of white-belled datura. Far away, over the polished floor of blue lapis-lazuli that was the sea, summer rain clouds bubbled up on the horizon, tinted with the soft gray-blue of violets; and in the valleys, between jagged or pointed mountains, we saw bursts of golden rain sparkling in the morning sun.
What a world! How good to be in it, to be "in the picture" because one had youth, and was not hideous to look upon. How good to be in a motor-car. This last thought made the chorus at the end of each verse for me. I was very glad I had put that advertisement in The Riviera Sun, and that "Kid, Kidder, and Kiddest" [Pg 60] had been before any one else in answering it.
What a world! How great it is to be in it, to feel "in the picture" because you’re young and not ugly. How nice it is to be in a car. This last thought was like a chorus at the end of each verse for me. I was really glad I had put that ad in The Riviera Sun, and that "Kid, Kidder, and Kiddest" [Pg 60] was the first to respond.
I could hear Terry telling Miss Destrey things, and I knew that if they listened the others could hear him too. This was well, because an unfailing flow of information was included in the five guineas a day, and I should have been embarrassed had I, as the supposed owner of the car, been called upon to supply it.
I could hear Terry talking to Miss Destrey, and I knew that if they were listening, the others could hear him too. This was fine because a steady stream of information was included in the five guineas a day, and I would have felt awkward if I, as the supposed owner of the car, had to provide it.
I listened with a lazy sense of proprietorship in the man, as my chauffeur related the pretty legend of St. Agnes's ruined castle and the handsome Pagan who had loved the Christian maiden; while he described the exquisite walks to be found up hidden valleys among the serrated mountains behind Mentone; and enlarged upon the charms of picnics with donkeys and lunch-baskets under canopies of olives or pines, with a carpet of violets and primroses.
I listened with a relaxed sense of ownership in the man as my driver shared the beautiful story of St. Agnes's ruined castle and the attractive Pagan who had loved the Christian girl. He talked about the lovely walks hidden away in the valleys among the jagged mountains behind Mentone and went on about the delights of picnics with donkeys and lunch baskets under the shade of olive or pine trees, surrounded by a carpet of violets and primroses.
He seemed well up in the history of the Grimaldis and that exciting period when Mentone and legend-crusted Roquebrune had been under the rule of tyrannical princes of that name, as well as Hercules's rock, Monaco, still their own. He knew, or pretended to know, the precise date when Napoleon III. filched Nice and Savoy from reluctant Italy as the price of help against the hated Austrians. Altogether, I was so pleased with the way in which he was beginning, that I should have been tempted to raise his wages had he been my paid chauffeur.
He seemed really knowledgeable about the history of the Grimaldis and that thrilling time when Mentone and the legendary Roquebrune were ruled by those tyrannical princes, as well as Monaco, which was still theirs. He knew, or he acted like he knew, the exact date when Napoleon III took Nice and Savoy from Italy, which didn't want to give them up, in exchange for help against the despised Austrians. Overall, I was so impressed with how he was starting this conversation that I would have been tempted to raise his pay if he had been my paid driver.
We skimmed past Englishmen and English or American girls in Panama hats, on their way to bathe or play tennis; on all hands we heard the English tongue. Skirting the Old Town, piled high upon its narrow nose of land, we entered the East Bay, and so climbed up to the French side of the Pont St. Louis.
We passed by English men and English or American girls in Panama hats, heading to swim or play tennis; we heard English being spoken everywhere. Avoiding the Old Town, which sat prominently on its narrow piece of land, we made our way into the East Bay, and then climbed up to the French side of the Pont St. Louis.
"Now for some red tape," explained Terry. "When I came to the Riviera this season I had no idea of going further, and I'm sorry to say I left my papers in London, where apparently they've disappeared. But as the Countess doesn't care to come back into France, I hope it won't matter much."
"Now for some bureaucracy," Terry explained. "When I came to the Riviera this season, I had no plans to go any further, and I regret to say that I left my documents in London, where they seem to have vanished. But since the Countess doesn't want to return to France, I hope it won't be a big issue."
As he spoke, a douanier lounged out of his little whitewashed lair, and asked for that which Terry had just said he had [Pg 61] not.
As he talked, a douanier stepped out of his small whitewashed hideout and asked for what Terry had just claimed he didn’t have. [Pg 61]
"I have no papers," Terry informed him, with a smile so agreeable that one hoped it might take away the sting.
"I don't have any papers," Terry said, with a smile so friendly that you hoped it might ease the blow.
"But you intend to return to France?" persisted the official, who evidently gave even a foreigner credit for wishing to rush back to the best country on earth with as little delay as possible.
"But you plan to go back to France?" the official pressed, clearly believing that even someone from another country would want to hurry back to the best place on earth as quickly as possible.
"No," said Terry apologetically. "We are on our way to Italy and Austria, and may go eventually to England by the Hook of Holland."
“No,” Terry said apologetically. “We’re heading to Italy and Austria, and we might eventually go to England via the Hook of Holland.”
The douanier gave us up as hopeless, with a resigned shrug of his shoulders. He vanished into his lair, consulted a superior officer, and after a long delay returned with the news that we must pay ten centimes, probably as a penance for our mulish stupidity in leaving France.
The douanier wrote us off as a lost cause, shrugging in defeat. He disappeared into his office, talked to a higher-up, and after a long wait, came back with the news that we had to pay ten centimes, likely as a punishment for our stubborn foolishness in leaving France.
I dropped a penny into his palm.
I dropped a penny into his hand.
"Will you have a receipt for this sum?" he asked.
"Do you have a receipt for this amount?" he asked.
"No, thanks," I smiled. "I have infinite trust in your integrity."
"No, thanks," I smiled. "I completely trust your honesty."
"Perhaps we'd better get the receipt all the same," said Terry. "I've never been paperless before, and there may be some fuss or other."
"Maybe we should still get the receipt," Terry said. "I've never gone paperless before, and there might be some issues."
"It took them twenty minutes to decide about their silly ten centimes," said the Countess "and it will take them twenty more at least to make out a receipt for it. Do let's go on, if he'll let us. I'm dying to see what's on the other side of this bridge. We haven't been over into Italy before; there was so much to do in Nice and Monte Carlo."
"It took them twenty minutes to figure out their silly ten centimes," said the Countess. "And it will take them at least another twenty to write a receipt for it. Let's move on if he'll let us. I'm really curious to see what's on the other side of this bridge. We haven't gone into Italy before; there was so much to do in Nice and Monte Carlo."
"All right, we'll risk it, then, as you wish it," Terry agreed; and our prophetic souls did not even turn over in their sleep.
"Okay, we'll take the chance then, as you want," Terry agreed; and our intuitive minds didn't even stir in their sleep.
On we went, up the steep hill which, with our load, we were obliged to climb so slowly that Terry and I were ashamed for the car, and tried diplomatically to make it appear that, had we liked, we could have flown up with undiminished speed.
On we went, up the steep hill that, with our load, we had to climb so slowly that Terry and I felt embarrassed for the car and tried to make it seem like, if we wanted to, we could have zipped up without any loss of speed.
Terry pointed out objects of interest here and there. I questioned [Pg 62] him rapidly and he, playing into my hand, answered as quickly, so that, if our wheels lagged, our tongues gave the effect of keeping up a rattling pace.
Terry highlighted things of interest here and there. I quickly asked him questions, and he, playing along, responded just as fast, so that even if our wheels slowed down, our conversation felt like it was keeping up a lively speed.
"Don't you think there's something particularly interesting and romantic about frontiers?" asked Terry of the company in general. "Only a fictitious and arbitrary dividing line, one would say, and yet what a difference on either side, one from the other! Different languages, different customs, prejudices so different that people living within ten yards of each other are ready to go to war over them. Here, for instance, though the first thing one thinks of in crossing the bridge is the splendid view, the second thought that comes must be, how bare the Italian country looks compared to the luxuriant cultivation we're leaving behind. We're turning our backs now on cosy comfort, well-kept roads, tidy houses, tidy people; and we're on our way to meet beggars, shabbiness, and rags, poverty everywhere staring us in the face. Yet much as I admire France, it's to Italy I give my love."
"Don't you think there's something especially intriguing and romantic about borders?" Terry asked the group. "It's just a made-up and arbitrary line, but look at how different things are on each side! Different languages, different customs, prejudices so varied that people living just yards apart are ready to fight over them. For example, when you cross the bridge, the first thing you notice is the amazing view, but then you can't help but think about how bare the Italian countryside looks compared to the lush farms we're leaving behind. We're leaving behind cozy comfort, well-maintained roads, neat houses, and tidy people; and now we're heading into a world of beggars, messiness, and rags, with poverty all around us. But as much as I love France, my heart belongs to Italy."
"Talking of frontiers," I flung back the ball to him, "I've often asked myself why it is that a whole people should with one accord worship coffin-beds, six inches too short for a normal human being, hard wedges instead of bolsters, and down coverings three feet thick; while another whole people just round a geographical corner fiercely demand brass beds, springy mattresses, and blankets light as—as love. But nobody has ever satisfactorily answered that question, which may be far more important in solving the profound mystery of racial differences than it would seem."
"Speaking of frontiers," I tossed the ball back to him, "I've often wondered why an entire group of people would collectively prefer coffin-like beds, six inches too short for an average person, hard pillows instead of soft ones, and heavy blankets three feet thick; while another group just around the corner passionately insists on brass beds, springy mattresses, and blankets as light as—as love. But no one has ever really answered that question, which might be more crucial in understanding the deep mystery of racial differences than it seems."
"Why are you prudent and economical, and I reckless and extravagant?" inquired Terry.
"Why are you careful and thrifty, while I’m careless and wasteful?" asked Terry.
"Because I come from the country that took over England, and you from the country that England took over," I explained. But Terry only laughed, being too busy to pick up the cudgels for his native land. "Probably that's also why I'm a chauffeur while you're an editor," he added, and Miss Destrey's little nose [Pg 63] and long curve of dark eyelash, seen by me in profile, expressed the sympathy which one young soul in misfortune must feel for another.
"Because I come from the country that conquered England, and you come from the country that England conquered," I explained. But Terry just laughed, too caught up in his own world to defend his homeland. "Maybe that's why I'm a chauffeur and you're an editor," he added, and Miss Destrey's little nose [Pg 63] and the long curve of her dark eyelashes, which I saw in profile, showed the compassion that one young person in tough circumstances feels for another.
"Now we're in Italy," he went on. "What I said is coming true already. Look at these carts crawling to meet us down the hill. The harness seems to be a mere collection of 'unconsidered trifles,' picked up accidently by the drivers; bits of leather, string and rope. And the road you see is strewn with loose stones, though a few metres further back it was so smooth one might dance on it. In dear, lazy Italy, steam-rollers are almost as unknown as dragons. In most districts, if one wants to mend a road, one dumps some stones on it, and trusts to luck and traffic to have them eventually ground in. But luckily our tyres are almost as trustworthy as the Bank of England, and we don't need to worry about the roads."
"Now we're in Italy," he continued. "What I said is already coming true. Look at those carts slowly coming down the hill to meet us. The harness seems to be just a random assortment of 'unconsidered trifles,' gathered haphazardly by the drivers—pieces of leather, string, and rope. And the road you see is covered in loose stones, even though a few meters back it was so smooth you could dance on it. In dear, laid-back Italy, steamrollers are almost as rare as dragons. In most areas, if someone wants to fix a road, they just dump some stones on it and hope that luck and traffic will eventually pack them in. But fortunately, our tires are almost as reliable as the Bank of England, so we don’t have to worry about the roads."
At the pink Italian custom house Terry got down and vanished within, to pay the deposit and receive certain documents without which we could not "circulate" on Italian soil. Far above our heads looked down the old, brown keep of the Grimaldis, once lords of all the azure coast; below us glittered Mentone, pink and blue and golden in the sun; beyond Monte Carlo sat throned, siren-like, upon her rock.
At the pink Italian customs office, Terry got out and disappeared inside to pay the deposit and collect some documents we needed to be able to "move around" on Italian land. Above us, the old, brown tower of the Grimaldis overlooked everything; they were once the rulers of the entire blue coast. Below us, Mentone sparkled in pink, blue, and gold under the sun; beyond that, Monte Carlo sat majestically on her rock, almost like a siren.
Terry had scarcely engaged the attention of the officials when the buzz of a motor, livelier and more nervous than our faithful "thrum, thrum," called to us to turn our heads; and there was Prince Dalmar-Kalm's brilliant car flying up the hill, even as we had wished to fly.
Terry had barely caught the officials' attention when the sound of a motor, more lively and anxious than our familiar "thrum, thrum," made us turn our heads; and there was Prince Dalmar-Kalm's flashy car speeding up the hill, just as we had wanted to do.
The Prince stopped his motor close to ours, to speak with the Countess sitting alone in it, and announced that he would have overtaken us long ago, had he not found himself obliged to pause for a talk with the ex-Empress Eugenie.
The Prince pulled up his car next to ours to talk to the Countess, who was sitting alone in it. He mentioned that he would have caught up with us much earlier, but he had to stop for a conversation with the ex-Empress Eugenie.
This announcement much impressed Mrs. Kidder, who doubtless realized more fully than before her good fortune in having such a distinguished personage for a travelling companion.
This announcement really impressed Mrs. Kidder, who certainly understood more than ever how lucky she was to have such a distinguished person as her travel companion.
He stood leaning on the side of our luggage-wreathed vehicle, [Pg 64] with an air of charming condescension. There was no need for him to hurry over the formalities of the douane, he said, for even if he were considerably behind us in starting, he would catch us up soon after we had reached La Mortola.
He stood leaning against the side of our luggage-filled vehicle, [Pg 64] with a vibe of charming superiority. There was no rush for him to get through the customs, he said, because even if he started later than us, he would catch up with us shortly after we reached La Mortola.
Thus beguiled, the half-hour occupied by the leisurely officials in providing us with papers and sealing the car with an important looking leaden seal, passed not too tediously for the ladies. Finally, the Prince saw us off, smiling a "turned-down smile" at our jog trot as we proceeded up that everlasting hill, which runs like a shelf along the face of the great grey cliff of rock.
Thus captivated, the half-hour spent by the relaxed officials in giving us paperwork and sealing the car with an important-looking lead seal was not too boring for the ladies. Finally, the Prince waved us off, smiling a "turned-down smile" as we made our way up that never-ending hill, which runs like a shelf along the face of the great grey rock cliff.
Far below, azure waves draped the golden beach with blue and silver gauze and fringed it daintily with a foam of lace.
Far below, blue waves covered the golden beach with a delicate layer of blue and silver and edged it beautifully with a foam of lace.
Then, at last, the steep ascent came to an end, with a curve of the road which plunged us down into a region of coolness and green shadow.
Then, finally, the steep climb ended, with a curve in the road that took us down into an area filled with coolness and green shade.
"Why, I don't think Italy's so shabby after all," exclaimed the Countess. "Just see that pretty little Maltese cross above the road, and that fine school-house—"
"Honestly, I don’t think Italy’s so bad after all," exclaimed the Countess. "Just look at that cute little Maltese cross above the road and that nice schoolhouse—"
"Ah, but we're in Hanbury-land now," I said.
"Ah, but we're in Hanbury territory now," I said.
"Hanbury-land? I never heard of it. Is it a little independent principality like Monacoa? But how funny it should have an English-sounding name sandwiched in right here between Italy and France."
"Hanbury-land? I've never heard of that. Is it some little independent nation like Monaco? But it's so strange that it has an English-sounding name right here between Italy and France."
"The lord of the land is an Englishman, and a benevolent one, a sort of fairy god-father to the poor in all the country round," I explained. "You won't find Hanbury-land mentioned on the map; nevertheless it's very real, fortunately for its inhabitants; and here's the gate of the garden which leads to the royal palace. La Mortola is a great show place, for the public are allowed to go in on certain days. I forget if this is one of them, but perhaps they will let us see the garden, nevertheless. Shall I ask?"
"The lord of the land is an Englishman, and a kind one, like a fairy godfather to the poor around here," I explained. "You won’t find Hanbury-land on the map; still, it’s very real, luckily for those who live here; and here’s the gate to the garden that leads to the royal palace. La Mortola is a major attraction, as the public can visit on certain days. I can’t remember if today is one of those days, but maybe they’ll let us see the garden anyway. Should I ask?"
It was in my mind that, if we stopped, we might miss the Prince as well as see the garden, so that we should be killing two birds with one stone, and I was glad when the Countess caught eagerly at the suggestion that we should beg for a glimpse of La [Pg 65] Mortola, a place famed throughout Europe.
It occurred to me that if we paused, we might miss seeing the Prince as well as the garden, so we could accomplish two things at once. I was pleased when the Countess eagerly embraced the idea that we should ask for a quick look at La [Pg 65] Mortola, a place known all over Europe.
Permission was given; the big iron gates swung open to admit us. We entered, and a moment later were descending a long flight of stone steps to terraces far below the level of the road where the car stood waiting our return.
Permission was granted; the large iron gates swung open to let us in. We entered, and a moment later began descending a long flight of stone steps to terraces well below the level of the road where the car was waiting for us to return.
Had Aladdin rubbed his lamp in the days before his unfortunate misunderstanding with the Geni and demanded the most beautiful of gardens, the fulfilment of his wish could have taken no fairer form than this. Strange, tropical flowers, vivid as flame, burned in green recesses; water-sprites upset their caskets of pearls over rock-shelves into translucent pools where lilies lay asleep, dreaming of their own pale beauty. Long, green pergolas, starred with flowers, framed blue-veiled pictures of distant coast-line, and mediæval strongholds, coloured with the same burnt umber as the hills on which they stood, gloomed and glowed across a cobalt sea.
Had Aladdin rubbed his lamp back when he had his unfortunate misunderstanding with the Genie and wished for the most beautiful garden, the realization of his wish couldn’t have taken a more perfect shape than this. Strange, tropical flowers, bright as flames, blazed in green nooks; water sprites spilled their pearl-filled caskets over rocky ledges into clear pools where lilies rested, dreaming of their own pale beauty. Long, green trellises, dotted with flowers, framed views of distant coastlines and medieval fortresses, colored with the same burnt umber as the hills they sat on, loomed and shone across a deep blue sea.
There is nothing that pleases the normal male more than to be able to point out objects worthy of interest or admiration to the female of his kind. Since time immemorial, have not landscape-pictures in books of travel been filled in, in the foreground, with the figures of men showing the scenery to women? Did any one ever see such a work of art representing a woman as indicating any point of view to a man? No doubt many could have done so; and the ladies in the pictures had probably noticed the objects in question before their male escorts pointed to them; but knowing the amiable weakness of the other sex, they politely refrained from saying, "Oh, we saw that long ago."
There’s nothing that makes the average guy happier than showing interesting things to the women in his life. For ages, haven’t travel books filled their landscape pictures with men pointing out scenery to women? Has anyone ever seen a piece of art that shows a woman pointing out something to a man? Certainly, many could have; and the women in those pictures probably noticed the sights before their male companions pointed them out, but being aware of the charm of the opposite sex, they nicely held back from saying, "Oh, we saw that long ago."
Thus did Terry and I, after the conventional traditions of our species, lead our little party through avenues of cypresses, to open rock-spaces, or among a waving sea of roses to battle-grounds of rare cacti, with writhing arms like octopi transformed into plants.
Thus, Terry and I, following the usual customs of our kind, guided our small group through paths lined with cypress trees, to open rocky areas, or through a colorful sea of roses to battle zones of exotic cacti, with twisting limbs like octopuses turned into plants.
Here, peering down into a kind of dyke, paved with rough tesselation, we vied with each other in telling our charges that this was the old Roman road to Gaul, the Aurelian Way, over which Julius Cæsar, St. Catherine of Siena, Dante, and other [Pg 66] great ones passed. Then we showed them one of Napoleon's old guns, covered with shells, as when it was fished out of the sea. We enlarged upon the fact that there was no tree, shrub, or blossom on the known face of the earth of which a specimen did not grow at La Mortola; and when we had wandered for an hour in the garden without seeing half there was to see, we climbed the long flight of steps again, congratulating ourselves—Terry and I—that we had played Dalmar-Kalm rather a neat trick. The crowd of villagers who had clustered round our car outside the entrance gates would screen it from the Prince as he flashed by, and he would go on and on, wondering how we had contrived to get so far ahead.
Here, looking down into a sort of ditch paved with rough tiles, we competed in telling our charges that this was the old Roman road to Gaul, the Aurelian Way, where Julius Caesar, St. Catherine of Siena, Dante, and other great figures passed. Then we pointed out one of Napoleon's old cannons, covered with shells, just as it was when it was pulled from the sea. We emphasized that there was no tree, shrub, or flower on earth that didn't have a specimen at La Mortola; and after wandering for an hour in the garden without seeing even half of what there was to see, we climbed the long flight of steps again, congratulating ourselves—Terry and I—that we had pulled off quite a clever trick. The group of villagers who had gathered around our car outside the entrance gates would block the view from the Prince as he sped by, leaving him to wonder how we had managed to get so far ahead.
Our way would take us, after passing through Ventimiglia, up the Roya Valley which Terry had decided upon as a route because of its wild and unspoiled beauty, different from anything that our passengers could have seen in their brief experience of the Riviera. But as there were no inns which offered decent entertainment for man or automobile within reasonable distance, we were to lunch at Ventimiglia, and no arrangement had been made with Dalmar-Kalm concerning this halt. His confidence—perhaps well founded—in the superiority of his speed over ours had led him to believe that he could pause at our side for consultation whenever he wished. Therefore, we had left Cap Martin without much discussion of plans. Mrs. Kidder was of opinion that we would find him waiting in front of the "best hotel in Ventimiglia," with an excellent luncheon ordered.
Our route would take us, after passing through Ventimiglia, up the Roya Valley, which Terry chose for its wild and untouched beauty, unlike anything our passengers had seen in their short time on the Riviera. However, since there weren’t any inns that provided decent amenities for people or cars nearby, we would stop for lunch in Ventimiglia, and we hadn’t made any arrangements with Dalmar-Kalm about this stop. His confidence—maybe justified—in being faster than us made him think he could stop by for a chat anytime he wanted. So, we left Cap Martin without much planning. Mrs. Kidder believed we would find him waiting in front of the "best hotel in Ventimiglia," with a great lunch already ordered.
"The best hotel in Ventimiglia!" poor lady, she had an awakening before her. Not only was there no Prince, but there was no best hotel. Old Ventimiglia, in its huddled picturesqueness, must delight any man with eyes in his head; new Ventimiglia must disgust any man with a vacancy under his belt. As we sat in the shabby dining-room of a seventh-rate inn (where the flies set an example of attentiveness the waiters did not follow), pretending to eat macaroni hard as walking-sticks and veal reduced to chiffons, I feared the courage of our employers would fail. They [Pg 67] could never, in all their well-ordered American lives, have known anything so abominable as this experience into which we had lured them, promising a pilgrimage of pleasure. But the charmingly dressed beings, who looked like birds of paradise alighted by mistake in a pigsty, made sport of the squalor which we had expected to evoke their rage.
"The best hotel in Ventimiglia!" Poor lady, she had a rude awakening ahead of her. Not only was there no Prince, but there wasn’t even a best hotel. Old Ventimiglia, with its quaint charm, must captivate anyone with a sense of sight; new Ventimiglia must appall anyone with a sense of taste. As we sat in the rundown dining room of a second-rate inn (where the flies showed more attention than the waiters), pretending to eat macaroni that was hard as sticks and veal reduced to chiffons, I worried our employers would lose their resolve. They could never, in all their perfectly organized American lives, have encountered anything as dreadful as this experience we had led them into, promising a delightful journey. But the stylishly dressed people, who looked like exotic birds that had mistakenly landed in a pigpen, joked about the filth we thought would infuriate them.
"Dear me, I wish we'd brought some chewing gum," was Beechy's one sarcasm at the expense of the meal, and Maida and the Countess laughed merrily at everything, even the flies, which they thought did not know their own power as well as American flies.
"Wow, I wish we had brought some chewing gum," was Beechy's only sarcastic remark about the meal, and Maida and the Countess laughed joyfully at everything, even the flies, which they believed didn't understand their own power as much as American flies.
"We've some lovely cakes and candy packed in that sweet tea-basket we bought at an English shop in Paris," said Mrs. Kidder; "but I suppose we'd better not get anything out to eat now, for fear of hurting the waiters' feelings. What do you think, Sir Ralph?"
"We've got some lovely cakes and candy packed in that sweet tea basket we bought at an English shop in Paris," said Mrs. Kidder; "but I guess we should probably not take anything out to eat right now, so we don't hurt the waiters' feelings. What do you think, Sir Ralph?"
"Personally, I should like nothing better than to hurt them," I replied severely, "but I'm thinking of myself. Cakes and candy on top of those walking-sticks! 'T were more difficult to build on such a foundation than to rear Venice on its piles and wattles.
"Honestly, I couldn't want anything more than to hurt them," I said firmly, "but I'm considering my own situation. Cakes and candy on top of those walking sticks! It would be harder to build on such a shaky foundation than to construct Venice on its stilts and reeds."
"We'd better save what we have till later on," said Maida. "About four o'clock, perhaps we shall be glad to stop somewhere, and I can make tea. It will be fun having it in the automobile."
"We should probably save what we have for later," said Maida. "Around four o'clock, we might be happy to stop somewhere, and I can make tea. It’ll be fun having it in the car."
"There she goes now, revealing domestic virtues!" I thought ruefully. "It will be too much for Teddy to find her an all-round out-of-doors and indoors girl in one. He always said the combination didn't exist; that you had to put up with one or the other in a nice girl, and be jolly thankful for what you'd got."
"There she goes now, showing off her domestic skills!" I thought sadly. "It’ll be too much for Teddy to see her as both an outdoor and indoor girl all in one. He always said that such a combination didn’t exist; that you had to settle for one or the other in a nice girl and be really grateful for whatever you had."
But Terry did not seem to be meditating upon the pleasing trait just brought to light by his travelling companion. He remarked calmly that by tea-time we should doubtless have reached San Dalmazzo, a charming little mountain village with an old monastery turned into an inn; and then he audibly wondered what had become of the Prince.
But Terry didn’t seem to be thinking about the nice quality his travel companion just mentioned. He calmly pointed out that by tea-time we would likely have arrived at San Dalmazzo, a lovely little mountain village with an old monastery converted into an inn; and then he openly wondered what had happened to the Prince.
[Pg 68] "My! What a shame, I'd almost forgotten him!" exclaimed Mrs. Kidder. "He must have given us up in despair and gone on."
[Pg 68] "Oh! What a shame, I nearly forgot about him!" exclaimed Mrs. Kidder. "He must have given up on us in despair and moved on."
"Perhaps he's had a break-down," I suggested.
"Maybe he has had a breakdown," I suggested.
"What! with that wonderful car? He told me last night that nothing had ever happened to it yet. He must be miles ahead of us by now."
"What! With that amazing car? He told me last night that nothing's ever happened to it. He must be way ahead of us by now."
"Then this is his astral body," said Terry. "Clever of him to 'project' one for his car too. Never heard of its being done before."
“Then this is his astral body,” Terry said. “It’s smart of him to ‘project’ one for his car too. I’ve never heard of that being done before.”
Nor had I ever heard of an astral body who swore roundly at its chauffeur, which this apparition now stopping in front of the restaurant windows did. It called the unfortunate shape in leather by several strange and creditably, or perhaps discreditably, original names, but as this flow of eloquence was in German, it could not be appreciated by the ladies. Mrs. Kidder knew the languages not at all, and Miss Destrey and Beechy had remarked, when Dalmatia was proposed, that their knowledge was of the copy-book order.
Nor had I ever heard of a spirit that cursed out its driver like this apparition now stopping in front of the restaurant windows did. It called the poor guy in leather several odd and impressively, or maybe embarrassingly, original names, but since this outburst was in German, the ladies couldn't appreciate it. Mrs. Kidder didn’t know any languages at all, and Miss Destrey and Beechy had commented, when Dalmatia was suggested, that their knowledge was of the basic kind.
So completely upset was the Prince, that on joining us he forgot to be sarcastic. Not a question, not a sneer as to our progress, not an apology for being late. He flung himself into a chair at the table, ordered the waiters about with truculence, and, having thus relieved his mind, began complaining of his bad luck.
So completely upset was the Prince that when he joined us, he forgot to be sarcastic. Not a single question, not a sneer about our progress, not even an apology for being late. He threw himself into a chair at the table, bossed the waiters around aggressively, and after letting off some steam, started complaining about his bad luck.
An Austrian Prince, when cross and hungry, can be as undesirable a social companion as a Cockney cad, and the Countess's distinguished friend did not show to advantage in the scene which followed. Yes, there had been an accident. It was unheard of—abominable; entirely the fault of the chauffeur. Chauffeurs (and he looked bleakly at Terry) were without exception brutes—detestable brutes. You put up with them because you had to; that was all. The automobile had merely stopped. It must have been the simplest thing in the world for a professional to discover what was wrong; yet this animal, Joseph, could do nothing but poke his nose into the machinery and then shrug his hideous [Pg 69] shoulders. Why yes, he had taken out the valves, of course, examined the sparkling plugs, and tested the coil. Any amateur could have done so much. It gave a good spark; there was no short circuit; yet the motor would not start, and the chauffeur was unable to give an explanation. Twice he had taken the car to pieces without result—absolutely to pieces. Then, and not till then, had the creature found wit enough to think of the carburetter. There was the trouble, and nowhere else. All that delay and misery had been caused by some grit which had penetrated into the carburetter and prevented the needle working. This it was to have a donkey instead of a chauffeur.
An Austrian prince, when annoyed and hungry, can be just as unpleasant a social companion as a Cockney punk, and the Countess's distinguished friend didn’t come off well in what followed. Yes, there had been an accident. It was shocking—disgraceful; entirely the chauffeur’s fault. Chauffeurs (and he shot a gloomy look at Terry) were, without exception, brutes—despicable brutes. You tolerated them because you had to; that was it. The car had simply stalled. It should have been the easiest thing in the world for a professional to figure out what was wrong; yet this idiot, Joseph, could only poke around the machinery and then shrug his disgusting shoulders. Of course, he had taken out the valves, checked the shiny plugs, and tested the coil. Any amateur could have done that. It gave a strong spark; there was no short circuit; yet the engine wouldn’t start, and the chauffeur couldn’t provide any explanation. Twice he had dismantled the car completely—totally to pieces. Then, only then, did this fool finally think of the carburetor. That was the problem, and nowhere else. All that delay and hassle had been caused by some grit that had gotten into the carburetor and blocked the needle from working. This is what happens when you have a donkey instead of a chauffeur.
"But it didn't occur to you that it might be the carburetter," said Terry, taking advantage of a pause made by the arrival of the Prince's luncheon, which that gentleman attacked with ardour.
"But it didn't cross your mind that it could be the carburetor," said Terry, seizing a moment when the Prince's lunch arrived, which he dug into with enthusiasm.
"Why should it?" haughtily inquired Dalmar-Kalm. "I am not engaged in that business. I pay other people to think for me. Besides, it is not with me as with you and your friend, who must be accustomed to accidents of all sorts on a low-powered car, somewhat out of date. But I am not used to having mine en panne. Never mind, it will not happen again. Mon Dieu, what a meal to set before ladies. I do not care for myself, but surely, Sir Ralph, it would have been easy to find a better place than this to give the ladies luncheon?"
"Why should it?" Dalmar-Kalm asked arrogantly. "I don't deal with that kind of stuff. I hire others to think for me. Besides, I'm not like you and your friend, who must be used to all kinds of issues with an outdated, low-powered car. I'm not used to mine breaking down. Anyway, it won't happen again. Wow, what a meal to serve to ladies. I don't mind for myself, but surely, Sir Ralph, it would have been simple to find a better place than this to treat the ladies to lunch?"
"Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore wanted us to go to the railway-station," Miss Destrey defended us, "but we thought it would be dull, and preferred this, so our blood is on our own heads."
"Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore wanted us to go to the train station," Miss Destrey defended us, "but we thought it would be boring, so we chose this instead, so the responsibility is ours."
We finished gloomily with lukewarm coffee, which was so long on the way that the Countess thought we might as well wait for the "poor Prince." Then, when we were ready, came a violent shower, which meant more waiting, as the Countess did not agree cordially with her daughter's remark that to "drive in the rain would be good for the complexion."
We finished sadly with lukewarm coffee, which took so long to arrive that the Countess thought we might as well wait for the "poor Prince." Then, when we were ready, a heavy rainstorm hit, which meant more waiting, since the Countess didn’t fully agree with her daughter’s comment that "driving in the rain would be good for the skin."
When at last we were able to start it was after three, and we should have to make good speed if we were to arrive at San Dalmazzo [Pg 70] even by late tea-time. Terry was on his mettle, however, and I guessed that he was anxious our first day should not end in failure.
When we finally got going, it was after three, and we needed to move quickly if we wanted to reach San Dalmazzo [Pg 70] even by late tea time. Terry was determined, though, and I suspected he wanted to make sure our first day didn’t end in disappointment.
Tooling out of Ventimiglia, that grim frontier town whose name has become synonymous to travellers with waiting and desperate resignation, we turned up by the side of the Roya, where the stream gushes seaward, through many channels, in a wide and pebbly bed. The shower just past, though brief, had been heavy enough to turn a thick layer of white dust into a greasy, grey paste of mud. On our left was a sudden drop into the rushing river, on the right a deep ditch, and the road between was as round-shouldered as a hunchback. Seeing this natural phenomenon, and feeling the slightly uncertain step of our fat tyres as they waddled through the pasty mud, the pleasant smile of the proud motor-proprietor which I had been wearing hardened upon my face. I didn't know as much about motors as our passengers supposed, but I did know what side-slip was, and I did not think that this was a nice place for the ladies to be initiated. There might easily be an accident, even with the best of drivers such as we had in Terry, and I was sure that he was having all he could do to keep on the crown of the road. At any moment, slowly as we were going, the heavily laden car might become skittish and begin to waltz, a feat which would certainly first surprise and then alarm the ladies, even if it had no more serious consequences.
Tooling out of Ventimiglia, that dreary border town known to travelers for its long waits and resigned despair, we made our way alongside the Roya, where the stream rushed toward the sea, splitting into multiple channels across a wide, rocky bed. The brief shower we had just experienced was heavy enough to transform a thick layer of white dust into a slick, gray mud. On our left, the land dropped suddenly into the fast-moving river, while a deep ditch lay on the right, and the road between was as bumpy as a hunchback. Observing this natural spectacle and feeling our fat tires unsteady as they squished through the muddy mess, my cheerful smile as a proud car owner faded. I didn't know as much about engines as our passengers thought, but I did understand what a side-slip was, and I didn’t think this was a great spot for the women to have their introduction. An accident could easily happen, even with the best driver like Terry, and I was sure he was doing his best to keep the car on the road. At any moment, even though we were moving slowly, the heavily loaded car could become skittish and start to sway, which would definitely catch the ladies off guard and then worry them, even if it didn’t lead to anything serious.
It was while we were in this critical situation, which had not yet begun to dawn upon our passengers, that Dalmar-Kalm seized the opportunity of racing past us from behind, blowing a fanfarronade on his horn, to prove how much faster his car could go than ours. In the instant that he was abreast of us, our tonneau, which overhung the back axle further than is considered wise in the latest types of cars, swung outwards, with a slip of the tyre in the grey grease, and only by an inch which seemed a mere hair's breadth was Terry able to save us from a collision.
It was during this critical moment, which our passengers still hadn’t fully realized, that Dalmar-Kalm took the chance to race past us from behind, blasting his horn to show off how much faster his car was than ours. Just as he got level with us, our back seat, which extended beyond the rear axle more than is advisable in modern cars, swung out slightly due to a slip of the tire in the gray grease, and it was only by an inch, which felt like a hair’s breadth, that Terry managed to avoid a collision.
The Countess screamed, Beechy clung once more to my knee, and we all glared at the red car with the white canopy as it shot [Pg 71] ruthlessly ahead. The Prince's tyres were strapped with spiked leather covers, which we could not carry as they would lose us too much speed; therefore the danger of side-slip was lessened for him, and he flew by without even knowing how near we had been to an accident. The anger painted on our ungoggled faces he doubtless attributed to jealousy, as he glanced back to wave a triumphant au revoir before flashing out of sight, round a bend of the road.
The Countess screamed, Beechy clung once again to my knee, and we all stared at the red car with the white canopy as it sped ruthlessly ahead. The Prince's tires were fitted with spiked leather covers, which we couldn’t take because they would slow us down too much; so the risk of skidding was reduced for him, and he zoomed past without even realizing how close we had come to an accident. The anger displayed on our uncovered faces he probably thought was jealousy, as he glanced back to wave a triumphant au revoir before vanishing from sight around a bend in the road.
There is something very human, and particularly womanish, about a motor-car. The shock of the narrow escape we had just had seemed to have unsteadied the nerve of our brave Panhard for the moment. We were nearing a skew bridge, with an almost right-angled approach; and the strange resultant of the nicely balanced forces that control an automobile skating on "pneus" over slippery mud twisted us round, suddenly and without warning. Instantly, oilily, the car gyrated as on a pivot, and behold, we were facing down the valley instead of up. Terry could not had done it had he tried.
There’s something very human, and especially feminine, about a car. The shock from our close call seemed to have rattled our brave Panhard for the moment. We were approaching a skew bridge with a nearly right-angled entry; and the peculiar mix of the perfectly balanced forces that guide a car gliding on tires over slippery mud suddenly twisted us around without warning. Instantly, the car spun around like it was on a pivot, and suddenly, we were facing down the valley instead of up. Terry couldn’t have done it any better if he had tried.
"Oh, my goodness!" quavered the Countess, in a collapse. "Am I dreaming, or has this happened? It seems as if I must be out of my wits!"
"Oh, my goodness!" trembled the Countess, in a breakdown. "Am I dreaming, or has this really happened? It feels like I must be losing my mind!"
"It has happened," answered Terry, laughing reassuringly, but far from joyous within, I knew. "But it's nothing alarming. A little side-slip, that's all."
"It has happened," Terry said, laughing to reassure me, but I could tell he wasn't really happy inside. "But it's nothing to worry about. Just a small mistake, that's all."
"A little side-slip!" she echoed. "Then may I be preserved from a big one. This automobile has turned its nose towards home again, of its own accord. Oh, Sir Ralph, I'm not sure I like motoring as much as I thought I would. I'm not sure the Hand of Providence didn't turn the car back."
"A little slip-up!" she repeated. "Then I hope I can avoid a big one. This car has pointed itself back home on its own. Oh, Sir Ralph, I'm not sure I enjoy driving as much as I thought I would. I wonder if it was Destiny that turned the car around."
"Nonsense, Mamma!" cried Beechy. "The other day the Hand of Providence was pointing out Sir Ralph's advertisement in the newspaper. It can't be always changing its mind, and you can't, either. We're all alive, anyhow, and that's something."
"Nonsense, Mom!" exclaimed Beechy. "The other day, the Hand of Providence was highlighting Sir Ralph's ad in the newspaper. It can't be constantly changing its mind, and neither can you. We're all alive, anyway, and that's something."
"Ah, but how long shall we be?" moaned her mother. "I don't [Pg 72] want to be silly, but I didn't know that an automobile had the habits of a kangaroo and a crab, and a base-ball, and I'm afraid I shall never get used to them."
"Ah, but how long will we be?" her mother complained. "I don't want to sound silly, but I had no idea that a car had the habits of a kangaroo, a crab, and a baseball, and I'm afraid I'll never get used to them."
Terry explained that his car was not addicted to producing these sensational effects, and compared the difficulties it was now combatting with those which a skater might experience if the hard ice were covered an inch deep with soft soap. "We shall soon be out of this," he said, "for the road will be better higher up where the hill begins, and the rain has had a chance to drain away."
Terry explained that his car wasn’t addicted to creating these dramatic effects and compared the challenges it was facing to what a skater might encounter if the hard ice was an inch deep in soft soap. "We’ll be out of this soon," he said, "because the road will improve higher up where the hill starts, and the rain will have a chance to drain away."
Cheered by these promises, the poor Countess behaved herself very well, though she looked as if she might burst an important blood-vessel, as Terry carefully turned his car on the slippery surface of the road's tortoise-back. I was not happy myself, for it would have been as "easy as falling off a log" for the automobile to leap gracefully into the Roya; but the brakes held nobly, and as Terry had said, there was better going round the next corner.
Cheered by these promises, the poor Countess was on her best behavior, even though she looked like she might burst an important blood vessel as Terry carefully maneuvered his car on the slippery surface of the road's bumps. I wasn't feeling great either, since it would have been as "easy as falling off a log" for the car to plunge gracefully into the Roya; but the brakes held steady, and as Terry had said, there would be better traction around the next corner.
Here the mountains began to draw together, so that we were no longer travelling in a valley, but in a gorge. Deep shadow shut us in, as if we had left the warm, outer air and entered a dim castle, perpetually shuttered and austerely cold. Dark crags shaped themselves magnificently, and the scene was of such wild grandeur that even Beechy ceased to be flippant. We drove on in silence, listening to the battle song of the river as it fought its way on through the rocky chasm its own strength had hewn.
Here, the mountains started to close in, so we were no longer in a valley but in a gorge. Deep shadows surrounded us, as if we had stepped out of the warm outside air and into a dim castle, always shuttered and starkly cold. Dark cliffs rose dramatically, and the view was so wild and majestic that even Beechy stopped being cheeky. We continued in silence, listening to the river's battle song as it made its way through the rocky chasm carved by its own power.
The road mounted continuously, with a gentle incline, weaving its grey thread round the blind face of the mountain, and suddenly, turning a shoulder of rock we came upon the Prince's car which we had fancied many kilometres in advance. The big red chariot was stationary, one wheel tilted into the ditch at the roadside, while Dalmar-Kalm and his melancholy chauffeur were straining to rescue it from its ignominious position.
The road kept going up with a gentle slope, winding its gray path around the blind side of the mountain, and suddenly, as we turned a corner of rock, we found the Prince's car, which we had imagined for many kilometers ahead. The big red vehicle was stuck, one wheel tipped into the ditch at the side of the road, while Dalmar-Kalm and his gloomy driver were struggling to pull it out of its embarrassing spot.
Our Panhard had been going particularly well, as if to justify itself in its employers' eyes after its late slip from rectitude. [Pg 73] "She" was taking the hill gaily, pretending not to know it from the level, and it did seem hard to play the part of good Samaritan to one marked by nature as a Levite. But—noblesse oblige, and—honour among chauffeurs.
Our Panhard had been running really well, almost as if to prove its worth to its owners after a recent mishap. [Pg 73] "She" was cheerfully climbing the hill, acting like she didn't recognize the flat ground, and it felt tough to be the good Samaritan for one who was naturally a Levite. But—noblesse oblige, and—honor among drivers.
Terry is as far from sainthood as I am, and I knew well that his bosom yearned to let Dalmar-Kalm stew in his own petrol. Nevertheless, he brought the car to anchor without a second's hesitation, drawing up alongside the humiliated red giant. Amid the exclamations of Mrs. Kidder, and the suppressed chuckles of the enfante terrible, we two men got out, with beautiful expressions on our faces and dawning haloes round our heads, to help our hated rival.
Terry is just as far from being a saint as I am, and I knew he really wanted to let Dalmar-Kalm deal with this mess on his own. Still, he parked the car without hesitating, pulling up next to the embarrassed red giant. Amid Mrs. Kidder's exclamations and the stifled laughs of the enfante terrible, we both got out with pleased looks on our faces and shining halos around our heads to help our despised rival.
Did he thank us for not straining the quality of our mercy? His name and nature would not have been Dalmar-Kalm if he had. His first words at sight of the two ministering angels by his side were: "You must have brought me bad luck, I believe. Never have I had an accident with my car until to-day, but now all goes wrong. For the second time I am en panne. It is too much. This viper of a Joseph says we cannot go on."
Did he thank us for not pushing the limits of our mercy? His name and character wouldn't have been Dalmar-Kalm if he had. His first words upon seeing the two helpful angels by his side were: "I think you must have brought me bad luck. I've never had a car accident until today, but now everything is going wrong. For the second time, I'm stuck. It's too much. This snake of a Joseph says we can't move on."
Now we began to see why the Prince's chauffeur had acquired the countenance of a male Niobe. Wormlike resignation to utter misery was, we had judged, his prevailing characteristic; but hard work, ingratitude, and goodness knows how much abuse, caused the worm to turn and defend itself.
Now we started to understand why the Prince's chauffeur had the expression of a sad figure. We had thought that his main trait was a worm-like acceptance of total misery, but hard work, ingratitude, and who knows how much mistreatment made him stand up for himself.
"How go on with a change-speed lever broken short off, close to the quadrant?" he shrilled out in French. "And it is His Highness who broke it, changing speed too quickly, a thing which I have constantly warned him against in driving. I cannot make a new lever here in a wilderness. I am not a magician."
"How do we manage with a broken change-speed lever, snapped off right by the quadrant?" he shouted in French. "And it was His Highness who broke it by changing speed too fast, something I’ve repeatedly warned him about while driving. I can’t make a new lever here in the middle of nowhere. I'm not a magician."
"Nor a Félicité," I mumbled, convinced that, had my all-accomplished adjutant been a chauffeur instead of a cook, she would have been equal to beating up a trustworthy lever out of a slice of cake.
"Nor a Félicité," I mumbled, convinced that if my highly skilled assistant had been a driver instead of a cook, she would have been capable of creating a reliable lever from a piece of cake.
"Be silent, brigand!" roared the Prince, and I could hardly stifle a laugh, for Joseph is no higher than my ear. His shoulders [Pg 74] slope; his legs are clothespins bound with leather; his eyes swim in tears, as our car's crankhead floats in an oil bath; and his hair is hung round his head like many separate rows of black pins, overlapping one another.
"Be quiet, you crook!" shouted the Prince, and I could barely hold back a laugh, because Joseph isn't even as tall as my ear. His shoulders are slouched; his legs look like skinny sticks wrapped in leather; his eyes are full of tears, like our car's crankhead soaking in an oil bath; and his hair is arranged around his head like multiple layers of black pins, overlapping each other.
"We shall save time by getting your car out of the ditch, anyhow," suggested Terry; and putting our shoulders to it, all four, we succeeded after strenuous efforts in pushing and hauling the huge beast onto the road. I had had no idea that anything less in size than a railway engine could be so heavy.
"We'll save time by getting your car out of the ditch, anyway," suggested Terry. Putting our shoulders into it, all four of us managed to push and pull the huge vehicle onto the road after some hard work. I had no idea that anything smaller than a train engine could be so heavy.
There was no question but that the giant was helpless. Terry and Joseph peered into its inner workings, and the first verdict was confirmed. "There's an imperfection in the metal," said expert Terry. In his place, I fear I should not have been capable of such magnanimity. I should have let the whole blame rest upon my rival's reckless stupidity as a driver.
There was no doubt that the giant was powerless. Terry and Joseph looked into its inner mechanisms, and the initial assessment was confirmed. "There's a flaw in the metal," said the expert Terry. If I were in his position, I don't think I could have been so generous. I would have placed all the blame on my rival's careless driving.
"It's plain you can do nothing with your car in that condition," he went on. "After all" (even Terry's generous spirit couldn't resist this one little dig), "it would have been well if I'd brought that coil of rope."
"It's clear you can't do anything with your car like that," he continued. "I mean" (even Terry's generous nature couldn't help but take this small jab), "it would have been better if I'd brought that coil of rope."
"Coil of rope? For what purpose?"
"Coil of rope? What's it for?"
"To tow you to the nearest blacksmith's, where perhaps a new lever could be forged."
"To tow you to the closest blacksmith's shop, where maybe a new lever can be made."
"This is not a time for joking. Twelve horses cannot drag twenty-four."
"This isn’t a time for jokes. Twelve horses can’t pull twenty-four."
"They're plucky and willing. Shall they try? Here comes a cart, whose driver is wreathed in smiles. Labour exulting in the downfall of Capitol. But Labour looks good-natured." "Good morning," Terry hailed him in Italian. "Will you lend me a stout cord to tow this automobile?"
"They're brave and eager. Should they give it a shot? Here comes a cart, and the driver is all smiles. Labor celebrating the fall of Capitol. But Labor seems friendly." "Good morning," Terry greeted him in Italian. "Can you lend me a strong rope to tow this car?"
The Prince was silent. Even in his rage against Fate, against Joseph, and against us, he retained enough common sense to remember that 'tis well to choose the lesser of two evils.
The Prince was silent. Even in his anger towards Fate, towards Joseph, and towards us, he had enough common sense to remember that it's best to choose the lesser of two evils.
The carter had a rope, and an obliging disposition. A few francs changed hands, and the Hare was yoked to the Tortoise. Yoked, figuratively speaking only, for it trailed ignominiously [Pg 75] behind at a distance of fifteen yards, and when our little Panhard began bumbling up the hill with its great follower, it resembled nothing so much as a very small comet with a disproportionately big tail.
The cart driver had a rope and a helpful attitude. A few francs exchanged hands, and the Hare was hitched to the Tortoise. Hitched, I mean that figuratively, since it was lagging behind at a distance of fifteen yards. When our little Panhard started trudging up the hill with its large passenger, it looked more like a tiny comet with an overly large tail. [Pg 75]
The motor, in starting, forged gallantly ahead for a yard or two, then, as it felt the unexpected weight dragging behind, it appeared surprised. It was, indeed, literally "taken aback" for an instant, but only for an instant. The brave little beast seemed to say to itself, "Well, they expect a good deal of me, but there are ladies on board, and I won't disappoint them."
The motor, when starting, boldly moved forward for a yard or two, then, feeling the unexpected weight pulling behind, it looked surprised. It was, indeed, momentarily “taken aback,” but only for a moment. The courageous little engine seemed to tell itself, “Well, they have high expectations of me, but there are ladies on board, and I won’t let them down.”
"Félicité," I murmured. "She might have stood sponser to this car."
"Félicité," I whispered. "She could have been the one to support this car."
With another tug we began to make progress, slow but steady. Joseph, as the lighter weight, sat in his master's car, his hand on the steering-wheel, while the Prince tramped gloomily behind in the mud. Seeing how well the experiment was succeeding, however, he quickened his pace and ordered the chauffeur down. "I do not think that the difference in weight will be noticeable," he said, and as Joseph obediently jumped out the Prince sprang in, taking the wheel. Instantly the rope snapped, and the big red chariot would have run back had not Joseph jammed on the brake.
With another pull, we started to make progress, slow but steady. Joseph, being lighter, sat in his master’s car, his hand on the steering wheel, while the Prince trudged gloomily behind in the mud. However, seeing how well the experiment was going, he picked up his pace and ordered the chauffeur to get out. "I don’t think the difference in weight will be noticeable," he said, and as Joseph quickly jumped out, the Prince jumped in, taking the wheel. Instantly, the rope snapped, and the big red chariot would have rolled back if Joseph hadn’t slammed on the brake.
Terry stopped our car, and the ill-matched pair had to be united again, with a shorter rope. "Afraid you'll have to walk, Prince," said he, when he had finished helping Joseph, who was apparently on the brink of tears.
Terry stopped the car, and the mismatched pair had to be reunited again, using a shorter rope. "Sorry, you'll have to walk, Prince," he said after he finished helping Joseph, who looked like he was about to cry.
Dalmar-Kalm measured me with a glance. "Perhaps Sir Ralph would not object to steering my car?" he suggested. "Then Joseph could walk, and I could have Sir Ralph's place in the tonneau with the ladies, where a little extra weight would do no harm. Would that not be an excellent arrangement?"
Dalmar-Kalm sized me up with a look. "Maybe Sir Ralph wouldn't mind driving my car?" he proposed. "Then Joseph could walk, and I could take Sir Ralph's spot in the backseat with the ladies, where a little extra weight wouldn't hurt. Wouldn’t that be a great plan?"
"David left Goliath on the ground, and dragged away only his head," I remarked. "We are dragging Goliath; and I fear his head would be the last—er—feather. So sorry. Otherwise we [Pg 76] should be delighted."
"David left Goliath on the ground and just took his head," I said. "We are dragging Goliath, and I worry his head might be the last—uh—feather. My apologies. Otherwise, we [Pg 76] would be thrilled."
What the Prince said as the procession began to move slowly up-hill again, at a pace to keep time with the "Dead March in Saul," I don't pretend to know, but if his remarks matched his expression, I would not in any case have recorded them [Pg 77] here.
What the Prince said as the procession started to move slowly uphill again, matching the tempo of the "Dead March in Saul," I can’t say for sure, but if his words reflected his expression, I definitely wouldn’t have written them down [Pg 77] here.
VI
A CHAPTER OF PREDICAMENTS
On we went, and twilight was falling in this deep gorge, so evidently cut by the river for its own convenience, not for that of belated tourists. Here and there in the valley little rock towns stood up impressively, round and high on their eminences, like brown, stemless mushrooms. Each little group of ancient dwellings resembled to my mind a determined band of men standing back to back, shoulder to shoulder, defending their hearths and homes from the Saracens, and saying grimly, "Come on if you dare. We'll fight to the death, one and all of us."
On we went, and twilight was settling in this deep gorge, clearly shaped by the river for its own needs, not for late tourists. Here and there in the valley, small rock formations stood out impressively, round and tall on their peaks, like brown, stemless mushrooms. Each little cluster of ancient homes reminded me of a determined group of people standing back to back, shoulder to shoulder, defending their homes from invaders, and saying grimly, "Come on if you dare. We’ll fight to the death, all of us."
At last, without further mishap, we arrived at a mean village marked Airole on Terry's map. It was a poverty-stricken place, through which, in happier circumstances, we should have passed without a glance, but—there, by the roadside was a blacksmith's forge, more welcome to our eyes than a castle double-starred by Baedeker.
At last, without any more trouble, we reached a small village labeled Airole on Terry's map. It was a poor place that, under better circumstances, we would have ignored completely, but—there, by the side of the road, was a blacksmith's forge, more appealing to us than a castle highlighted in Baedeker.
Joseph's spleen reduced by the sight of his master tramping in the mud while he steered, the little chauffeur looked almost cheerful. He promised to have a new lever ready in half an hour, and so confident was he that he urged us to go on. But the Prince did not echo the suggestion, and Mrs. Kidder proposed that we should have tea while we waited.
Joseph's annoyance faded when he saw his boss trudging through the mud while he drove. The little chauffeur seemed almost happy. He said he would have a new lever ready in half an hour, and he was so sure of himself that he encouraged us to keep going. But the Prince didn’t agree with that idea, and Mrs. Kidder suggested we have tea while we waited.
Though it was she who gave birth to the idea, it would have been Miss Destrey who did all the work, had not Terry and I offered such help as men can give. He went in search of water to [Pg 78] fill the shining kettle; I handed round biscuits and cakes, while the Prince looked on in the attitude of Napoleon watching the burning of Moscow.
Though she came up with the idea, Miss Destrey would have done all the work if Terry and I hadn't helped out as much as we could. He went to find water to fill the shiny kettle; I passed around biscuits and cakes, while the Prince watched like Napoleon observing the burning of Moscow.
We were as good as a circus to the inhabitants of Airole; nay, better, for our antics could be seen gratis. The entire population of the village, and apparently of several adjacent villages, collected round the two cars. They made the ring, and—we did the rest. We ate, we drank, and they were merry at our expense. The children wished also to eat at our expense, and when I translated (with amendments) a flattering comment on Mrs. Kidder's hair and complexion offered by an incipient Don Juan of five years, she insisted that all the spare pastry should be distributed among the juveniles. The division led to blows, and tears which had to be quenched with coppers; while into the mêlée broke a desolate cry from Joseph, announcing that his lever was a failure. The Prince strode off to the blacksmith's shop, forgetful that he held a teacup in one hand and an éclair in the other. With custard dropping onto the red-hot bar which Joseph hammered, he looked so forlorn a figure that Terry was moved to pity and joined the group at the forge. He soon discovered what Joseph might have known from the first, had he not lived solely in the moment, like most other chauffeurs. The village forge was not assez bien outillée for a finished lever to be produced; the Prince's car must remain a derelict, unless we towed it into port.
We were like a circus to the people of Airole; in fact, better, because they could watch our antics for free. The whole village, along with people from nearby villages, gathered around the two cars. They formed a crowd, and—we entertained them. We ate, we drank, and they had a great time at our expense. The kids also wanted to eat at our expense, and when I translated (with some tweaks) a compliment about Mrs. Kidder's hair and complexion from a budding five-year-old Don Juan, she insisted that all the leftover pastries should be shared with the children. The distribution turned into a fight, leading to tears that had to be soothed with coins; meanwhile, out of nowhere came a desperate shout from Joseph, saying his lever was failing. The Prince marched off to the blacksmith's shop, forgetting he was holding a teacup in one hand and an éclair in the other. With custard dripping onto the red-hot bar that Joseph was hammering, he looked so miserable that Terry felt sorry for him and joined the group at the forge. He quickly realized what Joseph might have known from the start, if only he had been more aware, like most other drivers. The village forge wasn't assez bien outillée enough to make a finished lever; the Prince's car would remain abandoned unless we towed it back to safety.
We started on again, in the same order as before and at the same pace, followed by all our village protegés, who commented frankly upon the plight of the Prince, and the personal appearance of the whole party. At length, however, our moving audience dwindled. A mile or two beyond Airole the last, most enterprising boy deserted us, and we thought ourselves alone in a twilight world. The white face of the moon peered through a cleft in the mountain, and our own shadows crawled after us, large and dark on the grey ribbon of the road. But there was another shadow which moved, a small drifting shadow over which we had no control. Sometimes it was by our side for an instant as we crept [Pg 79] up the hill, dragging our incubus, then it would fall behind and vanish, only to reappear again, perhaps on the other side of the road.
We set off again, in the same order as before and at the same pace, with all our village protegés following us, openly commenting on the Prince's situation and the appearance of our whole group. Eventually, though, our crowd of onlookers started to thin out. A mile or two beyond Airole, the last of the adventurous boys left us, and we thought we were alone in a world dimmed by twilight. The moon's pale face peeked through a gap in the mountain, and our own shadows trailed behind us, large and dark on the grey strip of the road. But there was another shadow that moved, a small wandering shadow we couldn’t control. Sometimes it was right next to us for a moment as we crept [Pg 79] up the hill, dragging our burden, then it would slip behind and disappear, only to pop up again, maybe on the other side of the road.
"What is that tiny black thing that comes and goes?" asked Mrs. Kidder.
"What is that little black thing that keeps appearing and disappearing?" asked Mrs. Kidder.
"Why," exclaimed Miss Destrey, "I do believe it's that forlorn little dog that was too timid to eat from my hand in the village. He must have followed all this time."
"Why," shouted Miss Destrey, "I really think it's that sad little dog that was too scared to eat from my hand in the village. He must have followed me this whole time."
"Do see if it is the same dog, Prince," Beechy cried to the tall, dark figure completing the tail of our procession.
"Check if that's the same dog, Prince," Beechy shouted to the tall, dark figure bringing up the end of our group.
A yelp answered. "Yes, it is he," called the Prince. "A mangy little mongrel. I do not think he will trouble us any longer."
A yelp responded. "Yeah, that's him," said the Prince. "A scruffy little mutt. I don’t think he’ll bother us anymore."
Then a surprising thing happened. The Vestal Virgin rose suddenly in the car. "You have kicked him!" she exclaimed, the gentleness burnt out of her pretty voice by a swift flame of anger. "Stop the car, Mr. Barrymore—quickly, please. I want to get down."
Then a surprising thing happened. The Vestal Virgin suddenly stood up in the car. "You have kicked him!" she shouted, her sweet voice hardened by a burst of anger. "Stop the car, Mr. Barrymore—quickly, please. I want to get out."
Never had that Panhard of Terry's checked its career in less space. Out jumped Maida, to my astonishment without a word of objection from her relatives. "I will not have that poor, timid little creature frightened and hurt," I heard her protesting as she ran back. "How could you, Prince!"
Never had Terry's Panhard stopped so quickly. Maida jumped out, surprising me since her family didn’t say anything. "I won’t let that poor, timid little thing get scared or hurt," I heard her say as she ran back. "How could you, Prince!"
Now, though the girl was probably no more than a paid companion, she was lovely enough to make her good opinion of importance to the most inveterate fortune hunter, and as Miss Destrey called, "Here, doggie, doggie," in a voice to beguile a rhinoceros, Dalmar-Kalm pleaded that what he had done had been but for the animal's good. He had not injured the dog, he had merely encouraged it to run home before it was hopelessly lost. "I am not cruel, I assure you. My worst troubles have come from a warm heart. I hope you will believe me, Miss Destrey."
Now, even though the girl was probably just a paid companion, she was attractive enough to make her opinion important to even the most desperate fortune seeker. As Miss Destrey called out, "Here, doggie, doggie," in a voice that could charm a rhinoceros, Dalmar-Kalm argued that what he had done was for the dog's own good. He hadn't harmed the dog; he had simply encouraged it to go home before it got hopelessly lost. "I’m not cruel, I promise. My biggest troubles have come from caring too much. I hope you believe me, Miss Destrey."
"I should be sorry to be your dog, or—your chauffeur," she answered. "He won't come back to be comforted, so I suppose after all we shall have to go on. But I shall dream of that poor little lonely, drifting thing to-night."
"I'd hate to be your dog, or—your chauffeur," she replied. "He won’t come back for comfort, so I guess we’ll just have to keep moving on. But I’ll be thinking about that poor little lonely, lost soul tonight."
[Pg 80] Hardly had she taken her seat, however, than there was the dog close to the car, timid, obsequious, winning, with his wisp of a head cocked on one side. We drove on, and he followed pertinaciously. Mildly adjured by the Countess to "go home, little dog," he came on the faster. Many adventures he had, such as a fall over a heap of stones and entanglement in a thorn-bush. But nothing discouraged the miniature motor maniac in the pursuit of his love, and we began to take him for granted so completely that after a while I, at least, forgot him. On we toiled with our burden, the moon showering silver into the dark mountain gorges, as if it were raining stars.
[Pg 80] Barely had she sat down when the dog appeared by the car, shy, eager to please, and charming, with his little head tilted to one side. We drove off, and he persistently followed. The Countess gently told him to "go home, little dog," but he picked up speed. He faced many adventures, like stumbling over a pile of stones and getting caught in a thorn bush. But nothing deterred this tiny motor enthusiast in his quest for love, and we started to overlook him so completely that after a while, at least I forgot he was there. We continued our journey with our load, the moon casting silver light into the dark mountain ravines, as if it were raining stars.
The further we burrowed into the fastnesses of the Roya, the more wild in its majestic beauty grew the valley, so famed in history and legend. The gorge had again become a mere gash in the rock, with room only for the road and the roaring river below. High overhead, standing up against the sky like a warning finger, towered the ancient stronghold of Piena, once guardian fortress of the valley; where the way curved, and crossed a high bridge spanning the torrent, we passed a tablet of gleaming bronze set against the rock wall, in commemoration of Masséna's victory in an early campaign of Napoleon's against Italy. Sometimes we rushed through tunnels, where the noise of the motor vibrated thunderously; sometimes we looked down over sublime precipices; but the road was always good now, and we had no longer to fear side-slip.
The deeper we went into the hidden areas of the Roya, the more wild and beautifully majestic the valley became, famous in history and legend. The gorge had turned back into a narrow cut in the rock, leaving just enough space for the road and the roaring river below. High above us, standing against the sky like a warning finger, loomed the ancient stronghold of Piena, once the protective fortress of the valley; where the road curved and crossed a high bridge over the rushing torrent, we passed a shiny bronze plaque set into the rock wall, commemorating Masséna's victory in one of Napoleon's early campaigns against Italy. Sometimes we sped through tunnels, where the sound of the engine echoed thunderously; sometimes we peered down over breathtaking cliffs; but now the road was always in good condition, and we no longer had to worry about slipping off the edge.
We met no one; nevertheless Terry got down and lit our lamps, Dalmar-Kalm making an unnecessary delay by insisting that Joseph should light his too. This was sheer vanity on the Prince's part. He could not bear to have his great Bleriots dark, while our humbler acetylene illumined the way for His Mightiness.
We didn't see anyone; still, Terry got out and lit our lamps, while Dalmar-Kalm wasted time insisting that Joseph should light his as well. This was pure vanity on the Prince's part. He couldn't stand having his fancy Bleriots in the dark while our simpler acetylene lamps lit the way for His Highness.
Suddenly we ran out of the bewildering lights and shadows, woven across our way by the moon, into the lights of a town; and two douaniers appeared in the road, holding up their hands for us to stop. Down jumped Terry to see why he should be challenged [Pg 81] in this unexpected place, and the Prince joined him.
Suddenly, we emerged from the confusing mix of lights and shadows cast by the moon and into the bright lights of a town. Two customs officers appeared in the road, raising their hands to signal us to stop. Terry jumped down to find out why he was being challenged in this unexpected place, and the Prince joined him. [Pg 81]
"Your papers, if you please," demanded the official.
"Your papers, please," the official demanded.
Terry produced those which had been given us at the custom-house in Grimaldi.
Terry provided the ones that were given to us at the customs office in Grimaldi.
"But these are Italian papers. Where are those for France?" asked the douanier.
"But these are Italian papers. Where are the ones for France?" asked the customs officer.
"This is not France," said the Prince, before Terry could speak.
"This isn't France," the Prince said, before Terry could respond.
"It is Breil, and it is France," returned the man. "France for nine kilometres, until Fontan, where Italian territory begins again."
"It’s Breil, and it’s France," the man replied. "France for nine kilometers, until Fontan, where Italian territory starts again."
Terry laughed, rather ruefully. "Well," said he, "I have no French papers, but we paid a penny at the Pont St. Louis to leave France. This car is French, and we ought not to pay anything to enter; nevertheless, I shall be delighted to hand you the same sum for the privilege of coming in again."
Terry chuckled, a bit bitterly. "Well," he said, "I don’t have any French papers, but we paid a penny at the Pont St. Louis to leave France. This car is French, and we shouldn't have to pay anything to come in; still, I’d be happy to give you the same amount for the chance to come back in."
"Ah, you paid ten centimes? Then, if you have the receipt it may be possible to permit you to go on."
"Ah, you paid ten cent? Then, if you have the receipt, it might be possible for you to continue."
"Permit us to go on!" echoed Dalmar-Kalm angrily. "I should think so, indeed."
"Let us continue!" Dalmar-Kalm shouted angrily. "I definitely think so."
"I'm sorry, I took no receipt," said Terry. "I thought it an unnecessary formality."
"I'm sorry, I didn't take a receipt," said Terry. "I thought it was an unnecessary formality."
"No formality is unnecessary, monsieur," said the servant of form. "I also am sorry, but in the circumstances you cannot enter French territory without a receipt for the ten centimes. As a man I believe implicitly that you paid the sum, as an official I am compelled to doubt your word."
"No need for formalities, sir," said the formal servant. "I regret this, but you can't enter French territory without a receipt for the ten centimes. As a person, I fully trust that you paid, but as an official, I have to question your word."
Who but a Frenchman could have been so exquisitely pompous over a penny? I saw by Terry's face that he was far from considering the incident closed; but he had too much true Irish tact to try and get us through by storming.
Who but a Frenchman could be so ridiculously pompous over a penny? I could tell by Terry's expression that he wasn't ready to let the incident go; but he had too much genuine Irish tact to try and force us through by being aggressive.
"Let us consider," he began, "whether there is not some means of escape from this difficulty."
"Let's think about," he started, "whether there's a way out of this problem."
But Dalmar-Kalm was in no mood to temporize, or keep silent while others temporized. The lights of Breil showed that it was a [Pg 82] town of comparative importance; it was past eight o'clock; and no doubt His Highness's temper was sharpened by a keen edge of hunger. That he—he should be stopped by a fussy official figure-head almost within smell of food, broke down the barrier of his self-restraint—never a formidable rampart, as we had cause to know. In a few loud and vigorous sentences he expressed a withering contempt for France, its institutions, its customs, and especially its custom-houses.
But Dalmar-Kalm wasn't in the mood to wait around or stay quiet while others did. The lights of Breil indicated it was a [Pg 82] town of some significance; it was past eight o'clock; and His Highness was likely feeling pretty irritable from hunger. The fact that he—he would be held up by a petty official figure-head right when food was within reach broke down whatever self-control he had—never a strong defense, as we had learned. In a few loud and forceful sentences, he expressed his complete disdain for France, its government, its customs, and especially its customs offices.
"If you'd mix up the Prince's initials, as you do Mr. Barrymore's sometimes, and call him Kalmar-Dalm, there'd be some excuse for it," Beechy Kidder murmured to the Countess.
"If you mixed up the Prince's initials, like you sometimes do with Mr. Barrymore's, and called him Kalmar-Dalm, there would be some reason for it," Beechy Kidder whispered to the Countess.
"Hush, he'll hear!" implored the much-enduring lady, but there was small danger that His Highness would hear any expostulations save his own.
"Hush, he'll hear!" urged the long-suffering lady, but there was little risk that His Highness would hear anything other than his own complaints.
The functionary's eye grew dark, and Terry frowned. Had the douanier been insolent, my peppery Irishman would have been insolent too, perhaps, in the hope of cowering the man by truculence more swashbuckling than his own; but he had been as polite as his countrymen proverbially are, if not goaded out of their suavity. "Look here, Prince," said Terry, hanging onto his temper by a thread (for he also was hungry), "suppose you leave this matter to me. If you'll take the ladies to the best hotel in town, Moray and I will stop and see this thing through. We'll follow when we can."
The official's expression darkened, and Terry frowned. If the customs officer had been rude, my fiery Irishman might have responded with his own rudeness, hoping to intimidate the man with more bravado than he had. But the officer had been as polite as his countrymen are known to be, unless pushed out of their calm. "Listen, Prince," said Terry, barely holding onto his temper (since he was hungry too), "how about you let me handle this? If you take the ladies to the best hotel in town, Moray and I will stick around and deal with this. We'll catch up with you as soon as we can."
Dalmar-Kalm snapped at the suggestion; our passengers saw that it was for the best, and yielded. As they moved away, a shadowy form hovered in their wake. It was the little black dog of Airole.
Dalmar-Kalm reacted sharply to the suggestion; our passengers recognized that it was for the best and agreed. As they departed, a shadowy figure lingered behind them. It was Airole's little black dog.
The Marquis of Innisfallen's first quarrel with his brother had been caused by Terry's youthful preference for an army instead of a diplomatic career. Now, could his cantankerous relative have seen my friend, he would once more have shaken his head over talents wasted. The oily eloquence which Terry lavished on that comparatively insignificant French douanier ought to have earned him a billet as first secretary to a Legation. He pictured [Pg 83] the despair of the ladies if the power of France kept them prisoners at the frontier; he referred warmly to that country's reputation for chivalry; he offered to pay the usual deposit on a car entering France and receive it back again at Fontan. To this last suggestion the harassed official replied that technically his office was closed for the night, and that after eight o'clock he could not receive money or issue papers. Finally, therefore, Terry was reduced to appealing to the cleverness and resource of a true Frenchman.
The Marquis of Innisfallen's first argument with his brother had been triggered by Terry's youthful preference for joining the army instead of pursuing a diplomatic career. If his difficult relative had seen my friend now, he would have once again shaken his head over wasted talent. The smooth talk that Terry directed at that relatively insignificant French customs officer should have earned him a position as the first secretary to a Legation. He imagined the despair of the ladies if France's power kept them trapped at the border; he spoke fondly of that country's reputation for chivalry; he offered to pay the usual deposit for a car entering France and get it back at Fontan. To this last suggestion, the stressed official replied that technically his office was closed for the night, and that after eight o'clock he couldn't accept money or issue papers. Finally, Terry found himself appealing to the cleverness and resourcefulness of a true Frenchman.
It was a neat little fencing-match, which ended in the triumph of Great Britain. The functionary, treated like a gentleman by a gentleman, became anxious to accommodate, if he could do so "consistently with honour." He had an inspiration, and suggested that he would strain his duty by sending a messenger with us to Fontan, there to explain that we were merely en passage. Out of the crowd which had collected a loutish youth was chosen; a pourboire promised; and after many mutual politenesses we were permitted to teuf-teuf onto the sacred soil of France.
It was a pretty neat fencing match that ended with Great Britain coming out on top. The official, treated with respect by a gentleman, wanted to help out if he could do it "without compromising his honor." He had an idea and suggested that he would go above and beyond his duty by sending a messenger with us to Fontan to explain that we were just passing through. From the crowd that had gathered, a rude young man was selected; a tip was promised; and after exchanging a lot of pleasantries, we were allowed to roll onto the holy ground of France.
It is no more safe to judge a French country inn by its exterior, than the soul of Cyrano de Bergerac by his nose. The inn of Breil had not an engaging face, but it was animated by the spirit of a Brillat Savarin, by which we were provided with a wonderful dinner in numerous courses. We could not escape from it, lest we hurt the amour-propre of the cook, and it was late when we were ready for our last sortie.
It’s no safer to judge a French country inn by its outside than to judge the soul of Cyrano de Bergerac by his nose. The Breil inn didn’t have a charming appearance, but it was filled with the spirit of a Brillat Savarin, which treated us to a fantastic multi-course dinner. We couldn’t leave before finishing it, or we’d hurt the cook’s pride, and it was late when we finally got ready for our last outing.
"You will never reach San Dalmazzo to-night, towing that car," we were informed by the powers that were in the hotel. "The hills you have passed are as nothing to the hills yet to come. You will do well to spend the night with us, for if you try to get on, you will be all night upon the road."
"You won't make it to San Dalmazzo tonight, pulling that car," the hotel staff told us. "The hills you've already crossed are nothing compared to the ones ahead. It would be wise to spend the night here because if you continue, you'll be out on the road all night."
Our passengers were asked to decide, and we expected a difference of opinion. We should have said that the two girls would have been for pushing on, and the Countess for stopping. But that plump lady had already conquered the tremors which, earlier in the day, had threatened to wreck our expedition at its [Pg 84] outset.
Our passengers were asked to make a decision, and we anticipated differing opinions. We should have mentioned that the two girls would have wanted to continue, while the Countess would prefer to stop. But that plump lady had already overcome the nervousness that had nearly derailed our trip at the beginning of the day. [Pg 84]
"It's a funny thing," said she, "but I want to go on, just on, for the sake of going. I never felt like that before, travelling, not even in a Mann Boudoir car at home, which I guess is the most luxurious thing on wheels. I always wanted to get there, wherever 'there' was; but now I want to go on and on—I wouldn't care if it was to the end of the world, and I can't think why, unless it's the novelty of automobiling. But it can't be that, either, I suppose, for only a little while ago I was thinking that bed-ridden people weren't badly off, they were so safe."
"It's a funny thing," she said, "but I just want to keep going, just going, for the sake of going. I've never felt like this before while traveling, not even in a Mann Boudoir car at home, which I guess is the most luxurious thing on wheels. I always wanted to get there, wherever 'there' was; but now I want to keep going and going—I wouldn't mind if it took me to the end of the world, and I can't figure out why, unless it's the excitement of driving. But it can't be that, either, I suppose, because not long ago I thought that people who are stuck in bed weren't so poorly off; they were so safe."
We all laughed at this (even the Prince, whom plenty of champagne had put into a sentimental mood), and I suddenly found myself growing quite fond of the Countess, crowns and all.
We all laughed at this (even the Prince, who had gotten a bit sentimental after a lot of champagne), and I suddenly realized I was starting to really like the Countess, crowns and all.
After the heat of the salle à manger, the night out of doors appeared strangely white and cold, its purple depths drenched with moonlight, the high remoteness of its dome faintly scintillant with icy points of stars. An adventure seemed to lie before us. We turned wistfully to each other for the warmth of human companionship, and had not the Prince been trying to flirt with little Beechy unseen by Mamma, I should have felt kindly even to him. Even as it was, I consented to let him try sitting in his own car, and the rope, inured to suffering, had the consideration not to break.
After the warmth of the dining room, the outdoors felt oddly white and cold, its deep purples bathed in moonlight, the high expanse above twinkling faintly with icy stars. An adventure seemed to be waiting for us. We turned to each other, longing for the comfort of human connection, and if the Prince hadn’t been trying to flirt with little Beechy without Mamma noticing, I might have even felt positively towards him. As it was, I agreed to let him try sitting in his own car, and the rope, accustomed to strain, was kind enough not to snap.
We forged on, up, up the higher reaches of the Roya valley, so glorious in full moonlight that it struck us into silence. The mountains towering round us shaped themselves into castles and cathedrals of carved marble, their façades, grey by day, glittering white and polished under the magic of the moon. The wonderful crescent town of Saorge, hanging on the mountain-side, would alone have been worth coming this way to see if there had been nothing else. Veiled by the mystery of night, the old Ligurian stronghold appeared to be suspended between two rocky peaks, like a great white hammock for a sleeping goddess, and now and then we caught a jewelled sparkle from her rings.
We pressed on, higher up the Roya valley, so stunning in the moonlight that it left us speechless. The mountains surrounding us transformed into castles and cathedrals of carved marble, their gray façades by day gleaming white and polished under the moon's enchanting glow. The beautiful crescent town of Saorge, perched on the mountainside, would have made the journey worthwhile all on its own. Shrouded in the night's mystery, the ancient Ligurian fortress seemed to float between two rocky peaks, like a large white hammock for a sleeping goddess, and occasionally we caught glimpses of sparkling jewels from her rings.
[Pg 85] They had not told an idle tale at the inn. The road, weary of going uphill on its knees, like a pilgrim, got suddenly upon its feet and we were on its back, with the Prince's chariot trailing after us. Nevertheless, our car did not falter, though the motor panted. Scarcely ever were we able to pass from the first speed to the second, but then (as Beechy remarked), considering all things, we ought to be thankful for any speed above that of a snail.
[Pg 85] They weren't just spinning a yarn at the inn. The road, tired of crawling uphill like a pilgrim, suddenly stood up straight, and we were riding along, with the Prince's chariot following us. Still, our car didn’t hesitate, even though the engine was struggling. We rarely managed to shift from first gear to second, but as Beechy pointed out, given the circumstances, we should be grateful for any speed faster than a snail's.
At Fontan—when he had vouched for us—we dismissed our oaf, with a light heart and a heavy pocket. Again, we were in Italy, a silent, sleeping Italy, drugged with moonlight, and dreaming troubled dreams of strangely contorted mountains. Then suddenly it waked, for the moon was sinking, and the charm had lost its potence. The dream-shapes vanished, and we were in a wide, dark basin, which might be green as emerald by day. A grey ghost in a long coat, with a rifle slung across his back, flitted into the road and startled the Countess by signing for us to stop.
At Fontan—after he had vouched for us—we waved goodbye to our oaf, feeling lighthearted and wealthy. Once again, we were in Italy, a quiet, sleepy Italy, enchanted by moonlight and filled with troubled dreams of oddly shaped mountains. But suddenly, it stirred awake, as the moon began to set and the magic faded. The dream-like figures disappeared, and we found ourselves in a wide, dark valley, which could be as green as emerald during the day. A grey figure in a long coat, with a rifle slung over his back, appeared on the road and startled the Countess by signaling for us to stop.
"Oh, mercy! are we going to be held up?" she whispered. "I'd forgotten about the brigands."
"Oh no! Are we going to be stopped?" she whispered. "I forgot about the robbers."
"Only an Italian custom-house brigand," said Terry. "We've got to San Dalmazzo after all, and it isn't morning yet."
"Just an Italian customs thief," said Terry. "We made it to San Dalmazzo after all, and it’s still not morning."
"Yes, but it is!" cried Beechy. "There's a clock striking twelve."
"Yes, but it is!" shouted Beechy. "There's a clock chiming twelve."
A few minutes later we were driving along a level in the direction of the monastery-hotel, which was said to be no more than a hundred metres beyond the village. I had often heard of this hostelry at the little mountain retreat of San Dalmazzo, loved and sought by Italians in the summer heat. The arched gateway in the wall was clearly monastic, and we felt sure that we had come to the right place, when Terry steered the car through the open portal and a kind of tunnel on the other side.
A few minutes later, we were driving on a flat road toward the monastery hotel, which was supposedly just a hundred meters past the village. I had often heard about this inn at the small mountain getaway of San Dalmazzo, popular among Italians during the summer heat. The arched gateway in the wall looked clearly monastic, and we felt confident we arrived at the right spot when Terry guided the car through the open entrance and into a sort of tunnel on the other side.
Before the door of a long, low building he stopped the motor. Its "thrum, thrum" stilled, the silence of the place was profound, and not a light gleamed anywhere.
Before the door of a long, low building, he turned off the engine. Its "thrum, thrum" quieted, and the silence of the place was deep, with no light shining anywhere.
Terry got down and rang. We all waited anxiously, for much as [Pg 86] we had enjoyed the strange night drive, the day had been long, and the chill of the keen mountain air was in our blood. But nothing happened, and after a short pause Terry rang again. Silence was the only answer, and it seemed to give denial rather than consent.
Terry got down and rang the bell. We all waited nervously, because even though we had enjoyed the weird night drive, the day had been long, and the cold mountain air was making us feel it. But nothing happened, and after a brief moment, Terry rang again. Silence was the only response, and it felt more like a no than a yes.
Four times he rang, and by this time the Prince and I were at his back, striving to pierce the darkness behind the door which was half of glass. At last a greenish light gleamed dim as a glow-worm in the distance, and framed in it a figure was visible—the figure of a monk.
Four times he rang, and by then the Prince and I were just behind him, trying to see through the darkness behind the door that was half glass. Finally, a dim greenish light appeared in the distance, and in it, we could make out a figure—the figure of a monk.
For an instant I was half inclined to believe him a ghost, haunting the scene of past activities, for one does not expect to have the door of an hotel opened by a monk. But ghosts have no traffic with keys and bolts; and it was the voice of a man still bound to flesh and blood who greeted us with a mild "Buona sera" which made the night seem young.
For a moment, I was tempted to think he was a ghost, haunting a place filled with memories, because you don’t usually expect a monk to open the door of a hotel. But ghosts don’t deal with keys and locks; it was the voice of a living man who welcomed us with a gentle "Buona sera" that made the night feel fresh.
Terry responded and announced in his best Italian that we desired accommodation for the night.
Terry replied and declared in his best Italian that we needed a place to stay for the night.
"Ah, I see," exclaimed the monk. "You thought that this was still a hotel? I am sorry to disappoint you, but it ceased to be such only to-day. The house is now once more what it was originally—a monastery. It has been bought by the Order to which I belong."
"Ah, I see," the monk said. "You thought this was still a hotel? I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it stopped being one just today. The place is now back to what it originally was—a monastery. It has been purchased by the Order I belong to."
"Isn't he going to take us in?" asked the Countess, dolefully.
"Isn't he going to let us in?" the Countess asked sadly.
"I'm afraid not," said Terry, "but I'll see what I can do."
"I'm sorry, but I'll see what I can do," said Terry.
Ah, that "seeing what he could do!" I knew it of old, for Terry's own brother is the only person I ever met who could resist him if he stooped to wheedle. Italian is a language which lends itself to wheedling, too; and though the good monk demurred at first, shook his head, and even flung up his hands with a despairing protest, he weakened at last, even as the douanier had weakened.
Ah, that "seeing what he could do!" I had seen it before, because Terry's own brother is the only person I've ever met who could resist him when he tried to charm. Italian is a language that really helps with charm, too; and even though the good monk hesitated at first, shook his head, and even threw up his hands in a desperate protest, he eventually gave in, just like the customs officer had.
"He says if we'd come to-morrow, it would have been impossible to admit us," translated Terry for the ladies' benefit. "The lease is going to be signed then. Until that's done the house isn't actually a monastery, so he can strain a point and take us [Pg 87] in, rather than the ladies should have to travel further so late at night. I don't suppose we shall find very luxurious accommodation, but—"
"He says if we came tomorrow, it would have been impossible to let us in," Terry translated for the ladies. "The lease is going to be signed then. Until that's done, the house isn't really a monastery, so he can make an exception and take us in, rather than make the ladies travel further so late at night. I don't think we’ll find very luxurious accommodations, but—"
"It will be perfectly lovely," broke in Beechy, "and Maida, anyhow, will feel quite at home."
"It will be so lovely," interrupted Beechy, "and Maida will definitely feel right at home."
"He won't accept payment, that's the worst of it," said Terry, "for we shall make the poor man, who is all alone, a good deal of bother. Still, I shall offer something for the charities of his Order, and he can't refuse that."
"He won't take any payment, that's the worst part," said Terry, "because we’ll only end up causing trouble for the poor man, who is all by himself. Still, I’ll offer something for the charities of his Order, and he can’t turn that down."
We filed into the hall, lit only by the lantern in our host's hand, and "Kid, Kidder, and Kiddest," charmed with the adventure, were delightfully ready to be pleased with everything. We seemed to have walked nearly half a kilometre before we were shown into small, bare rooms, furnished only with necessaries, but spotlessly clean. Then beds had to be made and water brought. Every one worked except the Prince, and every one, with the same exception, forgot to be tired and ceased to be cold in the pleasure of the queer midnight picnic. We had not dared hope for anything to eat, but when our host proposed a meal of boiled eggs, bread, and wine, the good man was well-nigh startled by the enthusiastic acceptance of his guests.
We filed into the hall, lit only by the lantern in our host's hand, and "Kid, Kidder, and Kiddest," excited about the adventure, were ready to be pleased by everything. It felt like we had walked almost half a kilometer before we were shown into small, bare rooms, furnished only with essentials, but they were spotlessly clean. Then, we had to make the beds and bring in water. Everyone worked except the Prince, and everyone, except for him, forgot they were tired and stopped feeling cold in the excitement of the strange midnight picnic. We hadn’t dared to hope for anything to eat, but when our host suggested a meal of boiled eggs, bread, and wine, the kind man was nearly taken aback by the enthusiastic response of his guests.
A small room containing a table, and a pile of chairs against the wall, was chosen for the banquet. Terry and Maida laid the table with the dishes from the tea-basket, and a few more found in neighbouring cupboards. Beechy boiled the eggs while our host unearthed the wine; the Countess cut slices of hard, brown bread, and I added butter in little hillocks.
A small room with a table and a stack of chairs against the wall was picked for the banquet. Terry and Maida set the table with dishes from the tea basket and a few more they found in nearby cupboards. Beechy boiled the eggs while our host dug out the wine; the Countess sliced up some hard, brown bread, and I added butter in small mounds.
Then we ate and drank; and never was a meal so good. We seemed to have known each ether a long time, and already we had common jokes connected with our past—that past which had been the present this morning. It was after one o'clock when it occurred to us that it was bedtime; and as at last the three ladies flitted away down the dim corridor, Terry and I, watching them, saw that something flitted after.
Then we ate and drank; and never was a meal so enjoyable. It felt like we had known each other for ages, and we already shared inside jokes from our past—that past which had been the present just this morning. It was after one o'clock when we realized it was time for bed; and as the three ladies finally moved away down the dim corridor, Terry and I, watching them, noticed that something followed behind.
PART II
TOLD BY BEECHY KIDDER
VII
A CHAPTER OF CHILDISHNESS
When I waked up that morning in the old monastery at San Dalmazzo, if that's the way to call it, and especially to spell it, I really thought for a few minutes that I must be dreaming. "There's no good getting up," I thought, "for if I do I shall somnambulize, and maybe break my rather pleasing nose." Once, when I was a little girl, I fell downstairs when I was asleep, and made one of my front teeth come out. It was a front tooth, and Mamma had promised me five dollars if I'd have it pulled; so that was money in my pocket. But I haven't got any teeth to sell for five dollars now, and it's well to be careful. Accordingly I just lay still in that funny little iron bed, saying, "Beechy Kidder, is this you?"
When I woke up that morning in the old monastery at San Dalmazzo, if that’s how you say it and spell it, I honestly thought for a moment that I must be dreaming. "There’s no point in getting up," I thought, "because if I do, I’ll sleepwalk and might end up breaking my pretty nose." Once, when I was a little girl, I fell down the stairs while I was asleep and lost one of my front teeth. It was a front tooth, and Mom had promised me five dollars if I got it pulled, so that was some nice cash. But I don’t have any teeth to sell for five dollars now, so it’s better to be cautious. So, I just lay there in that quirky little iron bed, asking, "Beechy Kidder, is this you?"
Perhaps it was because of all those bewildering impressions the day before, or perhaps it was from having been so dead asleep that I felt exactly as if I were no relation to myself. Anyhow, that was the way I did feel, and I began to be awfully afraid I should wake up back in Denver months ago, before anything had happened, or seemed likely ever to happen.
Maybe it was because of all those confusing experiences from the day before, or maybe it was because I had been so deeply asleep that I felt completely disconnected from myself. Regardless, that was how I did feel, and I started to get really scared that I would wake up back in Denver months prior, before anything had happened or seemed likely to happen.
When I thought of Mamma and myself, as we used to be, I grew almost sure that the things hadn't happened, because they didn't seem the kind of things that could possibly happen to us.
When I thought about Mamma and me, the way we used to be, I became almost convinced that those things hadn’t really happened, because they just didn’t seem like the kind of things that could actually happen to us.
Why, I didn't even need to shut my eyes to see our Denver house, for it was so much more real than any other house I'd [Pg 89] been in, or dreamed I'd been in since, and especially more real than that tiny, whitewashed room at the monastery with a green curtain of vines hanging over the window.
Why, I didn't even have to close my eyes to picture our Denver house, because it felt so much more real than any other house I'd been in or imagined being in since then, and especially more real than that tiny, whitewashed room at the monastery with the green curtain of vines hanging over the window. [Pg 89]
A square, stone house, with a piazza in front (only people out of America are so stupid, they don't know what I mean when I say "piazza"); about six feet of yard with some grass and flowers. Me at school; Mamma reading novels with one eye, and darning papa's stockings with the other. My goodness, what a different Mamma! When I thought of the difference, I was surer than ever that I must be dreaming her as she is now, and I had half a mind to go and peek into the next room to look, and risk falling down-stairs bang into realities and Denver.
A square, stone house with a porch in front (only people outside of America are so clueless they don’t get what I mean when I say "porch"); about six feet of yard with some grass and flowers. Me at school; Mom reading novels with one eye while she mends Dad's socks with the other. Wow, what a different Mom! When I thought about the difference, I was more convinced than ever that I must be dreaming about her as she is now, and I was tempted to go peek into the next room to see, risking falling down the stairs and crashing back into reality and Denver.
Would she have smooth, straight dark hair with a few threads of grey, all streaked back flat to her head to please papa; or would she have lovely auburn waves done on a frame, with a curl draped over her forehead? Would her complexion be just as nice, comfortable, motherly sort of complexion, of no particular colour; or would it be pink and white like rose-leaves floating in cream? Would she have the kind of figure to fit the corsets you can pick up at any shop, ready made for fifty-nine and a half cents, and the dresses Miss Pettingill makes for ten dollars, with the front breadth shorter than the back? Or would she go in at the waist like an hour-glass and out like an hour-glass, to fit three hundred-franc stays in Paris, and dresses that would be tight for me?
Would she have smooth, straight dark hair with a few strands of gray, all slicked back flat to please dad; or would she have beautiful auburn waves styled around her face, with a curl draping over her forehead? Would her complexion be nice and comforting, that motherly sort of complexion, without a specific color; or would it be pink and white like rose petals floating in cream? Would she have a figure that fits the corsets you can grab at any store, ready-made for fifty-nine and a half cents, and the dresses Miss Pettingill makes for ten dollars, with the front hem shorter than the back? Or would she have a waist that goes in like an hourglass and out like an hourglass, to fit three hundred-franc stays in Paris, and dresses that would be tight for me?
Poor Mamma! I'd made lots of fun of her these last few months, if they were real months, I said to myself; and if more real months of that kind should come, I'd probably make lots of fun of her again. I am like that; I can't help it. I suppose it's what Papa used to call his "originality," and Mamma his "cantankerousness," coming out in me. But lying there in the narrow bed, with the dream-dawn fluttering little pale wings at the window, I seemed suddenly to understand how hard everything had been for her.
Poor Mom! I’ve made a lot of jokes about her these last few months, if they really count as months, I thought to myself; and if more months like that come along, I’d probably make fun of her again. I’m just like that; I can’t help it. I guess it’s what Dad used to call his “originality,” and Mom his “cantankerousness,” showing up in me. But lying there in the narrow bed, with the dream-dawn fluttering its little pale wings at the window, I suddenly seemed to understand how tough everything had been for her.
At some minutes, on some days, you do understand people [Pg 90] with a queer kind of clearness, almost as if you had created them yourself—even people that you turn up your nose at, and think silly or uninteresting at other times, when your senses aren't sharpened in that magic sort of way. My "God-days," are what I call those strange days when I can sympathize with every one as if I'd known their whole history and all their troubles and thoughts and struggles, ever since they were born. I call them that, not to be irreverent, but because I suppose God always feels so; and the little spark of Him that's in every human being—even in a naughty, pert thing like me—comes out in us more on some days than on others, though only for a few minutes at a stretch even then.
At certain moments, on certain days, you do understand people [Pg 90] with a strange clarity, almost as if you had created them yourself—even those who you might dismiss or find silly or uninteresting at other times when your senses aren’t heightened in that magical way. I call my "God-days" those unusual days when I can empathize with everyone as if I’d known their entire history and all their troubles, thoughts, and struggles since they were born. I refer to them that way not to be disrespectful, but because I think God always feels that way; and the little spark of Him found in every human being—even in a mischievous, sassy thing like me—shines through us more on some days than on others, though only for a few minutes at a time, even then.
Well, my spark burned up quite brightly for a little while in the dawn, as I was thinking of Mamma.
Well, my spark shone really brightly for a bit in the morning as I was thinking about Mom.
I don't suppose she could ever have been in love with Papa. I guess she must have married him because her parents were poor, or because she was too kind hearted to say no. Anyway, it must have been horrid for her to know that he was rich enough to let her do anything she liked, but wouldn't let her do anything nice, because he was a Consistent Democrat, and didn't believe in show or "tomfoolery."
I doubt she could have ever been in love with Dad. I guess she must have married him because her parents were struggling financially, or maybe she was just too kind-hearted to turn him down. Anyway, it must have been terrible for her to realize that he was wealthy enough to let her do whatever she wanted, but wouldn’t let her enjoy anything nice, because he was a Consistent Democrat and didn’t believe in extravagance or “foolishness.”
I'm sure I couldn't explain what a Consistent Democrat really is; but Papa's idea of being it was to scorn "society people," not to have pretty clothes or many servants, to look plain and speak plainly, always to tell the whole truth, especially if you would hurt anybody's feelings by doing so, and not to spend much money except on uninteresting books
I'm pretty sure I couldn't explain what a Consistent Democrat truly is; but my dad's idea of it was to look down on "society people," not wear fancy clothes or have a lot of servants, to dress simply and speak plainly, always to tell the whole truth, especially if it might hurt someone’s feelings by doing so, and to avoid spending much money except on unexciting books.
Mamma would have loved better than anything to be a society leader, and have her name appear often in the papers, like other ladies in Denver who, she used to tell me, didn't come from half as good family as she did. But Papa wouldn't let her go out much, and she didn't know any of the people she wanted to know—only quite common ones whose husbands kept stores or had other businesses which she didn't consider refined. I'm afraid I was never much comfort to poor Mamma either. That [Pg 91] cantankerousness of mine which makes me see how funny people and things are, always came between us, and I expect it always will. I must have been born old.
Mamma would have loved nothing more than to be a society leader and have her name show up often in the papers, like other ladies in Denver who, she used to tell me, didn’t come from nearly as good a family as she did. But Papa wouldn’t let her go out much, and she didn’t know any of the people she wanted to know—only quite ordinary ones whose husbands ran stores or had other businesses that she didn’t find sophisticated. I’m afraid I was never much comfort to poor Mamma either. That [Pg 91] cantankerousness of mine that makes me see how funny people and things are always came between us, and I expect it always will. I must have been born old.
Her only real pleasure was reading novels on the sly, all about smart society and the aristocracy, but especially English aristocracy. She simply revelled in such stories; and when Papa died suddenly without time to tie up his money so as to force Mamma to go on doing what he wanted, and not what she wanted, all the rest of her life, the first thing that occurred to her was how to make up for lost time.
Her only real joy was secretly reading novels about high society and the aristocracy, especially the English aristocracy. She absolutely loved those stories; and when her dad passed away unexpectedly without arranging his finances to control what her mom would do with her life, the first thing that came to her mind was how to make up for lost time.
"We'll travel in Europe for a year or two," she said to me, "and when we come back we'll just show Denver society people that we're somebody."
"We'll travel around Europe for a year or two," she told me, "and when we get back, we'll just show the people of Denver society that we're somebody."
That was all she thought of in the beginning, but when we'd gone East to Chicago for a change, and were staying at a big hotel there, a new idea came into her head. Partly it was from seeing so many smart-looking young women having a good time every minute of their lives, and feeling what was the use of being free to enjoy herself at last, with plenty of money, when she was dowdy and not so very young any more? (I could tell just what was in her mind by the wistful way she looked at gorgeous ladies who had the air of owning the world, with a fence around it.) And partly it was seeing an advertisement in a newspaper.
That was all she thought about at first, but when we went East to Chicago for a change and stayed at a big hotel there, a new idea popped into her head. It was partly from seeing so many stylish young women enjoying themselves every minute and realizing what was the point of having the freedom to enjoy life now, with plenty of money, when she felt plain and not as young anymore? (I could tell exactly what was on her mind by the way she looked longingly at the glamorous women who seemed to own the world, as if there was a fence around it.) And it was also partly because she saw an ad in a newspaper.
Mamma didn't mention the advertisement to me at first. But when she'd been away one morning alone on a secret errand she stammered and fidgetted a little, and said she had something to explain to me. Then it all came out.
Mamma didn't bring up the ad to me at first. But after she had been out one morning on a secret mission, she stammered and fidgeted a bit, saying she had something to explain to me. Then it all came out.
She'd been to call on a wonderful French madame who could make a woman of thirty-eight (that's Mamma's Bible age) look twenty-five, and she hoped I wouldn't lose respect for her as my mother or think her frivolous and horrid if she put herself into the madame's hands for a few weeks. I couldn't help laughing, but Mamma cried, and said that she'd never had a real good time since she was grown up. She did long to have one at last, very much, if only I'd let her do it in peace.
She had visited an amazing French lady who could make a thirty-eight-year-old woman (that's Mom's age according to the Bible) look twenty-five, and she hoped I wouldn’t lose respect for her as my mother or think she was shallow and awful if she decided to spend a few weeks with this lady. I couldn't help but laugh, but Mom cried and said she hadn't really enjoyed herself since she grew up. She really wanted to have a good time at last, so much so, if only I would let her do it in peace.
[Pg 92] I stopped laughing and almost cried, myself; but I didn't let her see that I wanted to. Instead, I asked what would be the sense of looking twenty-five, anyhow, when everybody would know she must be more, with a daughter going on seventeen.
[Pg 92] I stopped laughing and almost cried myself, but I didn’t let her see that I wanted to. Instead, I asked what the point of looking twenty-five was anyway, when everyone would know she had to be older, with a daughter who was almost seventeen.
Mamma hadn't thought of that. She seemed years older than ever for a minute; and then she put her hand in mine. Hers was as cold as ice. "Would you mind going back a little, darling?" she asked. "It would be so kind and sweet of you, and it would make all the difference to me."
Mamma hadn't thought of that. For a moment, she looked years older than ever, and then she took my hand. Hers was as cold as ice. "Would you mind going back a little, darling?" she asked. "It would be so kind and sweet of you, and it would make all the difference to me."
"Going back?" I repeated. "Whatever do you mean?"
"Going back?" I repeated. "What do you mean?"
It made her dreadfully nervous to explain, because she was afraid I'd poke fun at her, but she did get out the idea finally. "Going back" was to bring on my second childhood prematurely. Thirteen was a nice age, she thought, because many girls get their full growth then; and if I wasn't more than thirteen she could begin life over again at twenty-nine.
It made her extremely nervous to explain because she was afraid I’d make fun of her, but she eventually got the idea out. "Going back" meant bringing on my second childhood too soon. She thought thirteen was a nice age because many girls finish growing then; and if I wasn't older than thirteen, she could start her life over again at twenty-nine.
"What, let down my hair and wear my dresses short?" I asked.
"What, let my hair down and wear my dresses short?" I asked.
She admitted that was what I'd have to do.
She acknowledged that was what I'd need to do.
I thought for a whole minute, and at last I just couldn't bear to disappoint her. But all the same, I reminded myself, I might as well make a good bargain while I was about it.
I thought for a full minute, and finally I just couldn’t stand to let her down. Still, I reminded myself that I might as well get a good deal while I was at it.
"If I do what you want," said I, "you'll have to be mighty nice to me. I must be given my way about important things. If you ever refuse to do what I like, after I've done so much for you, I'll just turn up my hair and put on a long frock. Then everybody'll see how old I am."
"If I do what you want," I said, "you'll have to be really nice to me. I need to get my way on important matters. If you ever say no to what I want after I've done so much for you, I'll just let my hair down and wear a long dress. Then everyone will see how old I really am."
She would have promised anything, I guess; and that very afternoon she gave me three lovely rings, and a ducky little bracelet-watch, when we were out shopping for short clothes and babyfied hats. Soon we moved away from that hotel to one on the north side, where nobody had seen us; and the first thing I knew, I was a little girl again.
She probably would have promised anything, I think; and that same afternoon she gave me three beautiful rings and a cute little bracelet-watch while we were out shopping for short clothes and adorable hats. Soon we moved from that hotel to one on the north side, where no one recognized us; and before I knew it, I was a little girl again.
It certainly was fun. To really appreciate being a child, you ought to have been grown up in another state of existence, and [Pg 93] remember your sensations. It was something like that with me, and my life was almost as good as a play. I could say and do dreadfully naughty things, which would have been outrageous for a grown-up young lady of nearly seventeen. And didn't I do them all? I never missed a single chance, and I flatter myself that I haven't since.
It was definitely a good time. To truly appreciate being a kid, you have to have experienced adulthood in another way and [Pg 93] remember what that felt like. It was kind of like that for me, and my life was almost as entertaining as a play. I could say and do horribly naughty things that would have been scandalous for a nearly seventeen-year-old woman. And didn't I do them all? I never passed up a single opportunity, and I like to think I still haven't.
The French madame made a real work of art of Mamma. The progress was lovely to watch. She kept herself shut up in her room all day, pretending to be an invalid, and drove out in a veil to the madame's. Then, when she was finished, we went right away from Chicago to New York, where we meant to stay for a while till we sailed for Europe.
The French madame turned Mamma into a real work of art. It was beautiful to see the transformation. She locked herself in her room all day, pretending to be sick, and would go out wearing a veil to visit the madame. After it was all done, we left Chicago and went straight to New York, where we planned to stay for a bit until we sailed for Europe.
Mamma hadn't been East before, since she was a girl of twenty, for that was when she married Papa, and he took her to live in Denver. We bought lots of beautiful things in New York, and Mamma enjoyed herself so much, being pretty and having people stare at her, that she was almost sick from excitement.
Mamma hadn't been to the East since she was twenty, when she married Papa and moved to Denver. We bought a lot of beautiful things in New York, and Mamma had such a great time being pretty and having people notice her that she almost felt sick from excitement.
When we'd seen all the sights and were tired of shopping, she remembered that she'd got a niece staying in the country not far away, on the Hudson River. I'd heard Mamma speak of her sister, who, when seventeen, had married a Savant (whatever that is), and had gone to California soon afterwards, because she was delicate. But evidently the change hadn't done her much good, because she died when her baby was born. The Savant went on living, but he couldn't love his daughter properly, as she'd been the cause of her mother's death. Besides, he wasn't the kind of man to understand children, so when Madeleine was nine or ten, he sent her to a school—a very queer school. It was kept by a Sisterhood; not nuns exactly, because they were Protestants, but almost as good or as bad; and an elderly female cousin of the Savant's was the head of the institution.
When we had explored all the attractions and were done with shopping, she remembered that her niece was staying nearby, on the Hudson River. I'd heard Mom talk about her sister, who married a Savant at seventeen (whatever that means) and moved to California shortly after because she was fragile. But clearly the change didn't help her much, as she passed away when her baby was born. The Savant continued living, but he couldn’t truly love his daughter since she was the reason her mother died. Additionally, he wasn’t the type to understand children, so when Madeleine was around nine or ten, he sent her to a school—a rather unusual school. It was run by a Sisterhood; not nuns exactly, since they were Protestants, but almost as good or as bad; and an older female cousin of the Savant was in charge of the place.
There Madeleine Destrey had been ever since, though Mamma said she must be nineteen or twenty; and now her father was dead. That news had been sent to Mamma months before we left Denver, but as she and the Savant had written to each other [Pg 94] only about once every five or six years, it hadn't affected her much. However, she thought it would be nice to go and see Madeleine, and I thought so too.
There Madeleine Destrey had been all that time, even though Mom said she had to be around nineteen or twenty; and now her father was dead. That news had been sent to Mom months before we left Denver, but since she and the Savant only wrote to each other about once every five or six years, it didn't really impact her. Still, she thought it would be nice to go and see Madeleine, and I agreed.
It was a short journey in the train, and the place where the Sisterhood live is perfectly lovely, the most beautiful I ever saw, with quantities of great trees on a flowery lawn sloping down to the river.
It was a quick train ride, and the place where the Sisterhood lives is absolutely gorgeous, the most beautiful I’ve ever seen, with lots of big trees on a flowery lawn that slopes down to the river.
I was wondering what my cousin would be like—the only cousin I've got in the world; and though Mamma said she must be pretty, if she was anything like her mother, I didn't expect her to be half as pretty as she really is.
I was curious about what my cousin would be like—the only cousin I have in the world; and even though Mom said she must be beautiful if she’s anything like her mother, I didn’t expect her to be nearly as pretty as she actually is.
We surprised her as much as she did us, for naturally she expected Mamma to be like other aunts, which she isn't at all—now; and evidently she considered me a curiosity. But she was very sweet, and when she found Mamma didn't want to be called Aunt Kathryn, she tried hard always to "Kitty" her.
We surprised her just as much as she surprised us because she naturally thought Mamma would be like other aunts, but she’s not at all—anymore; and clearly, she saw me as a curiosity. But she was really sweet, and when she realized Mamma didn’t want to be called Aunt Kathryn, she made an effort to always call her "Kitty."
We only intended to spend the day, but it turned out that the time of our visit was rather critical for Maida. She was in the act of having her twentieth birthday; and it seemed that in her father's will he had "stipulated" (that's the word the cousin-Mother-Superior used) that his daughter should be sent to travel in Europe when she was twenty, for a whole year.
We only planned to spend the day, but it turned out that our visit was pretty important for Maida. She was in the process of celebrating her twentieth birthday; and it seemed that in her father’s will he had "specified" (that’s the word the cousin-Mother-Superior used) that his daughter should be sent to travel in Europe when she turned twenty, for an entire year.
The reason of the stipulation was, that though he didn't care for Maida as most fathers care for their children, he was a very just man, and was afraid, after living so long in the Sisterhood his daughter might wish to join the Order, without knowing enough about the outside world to make up her mind whether it truly was her vocation for good and all. That was why she was to go to Europe; for when you're twenty-one you can become a novice in the Sisterhood, if you like.
The reason for the agreement was that even though he didn't feel for Maida the way most fathers feel for their children, he was a very fair man. He worried that after spending so much time in the Sisterhood, his daughter might want to join the Order without being aware enough of the outside world to decide if it was truly her path for the long term. That’s why she was going to Europe; because when you turn twenty-one, you can become a novice in the Sisterhood if you want.
The Mother Superior didn't really want Maida to go one bit. It was easy to see her anxiety to have the "dear child safe in the fold." But Maida wasn't to inherit a penny of her father's money if she didn't obey his will, which wouldn't suit the Sisterhood at all; so the Mother had to hustle round and think how to pack [Pg 95] Maida off for the year.
The Mother Superior didn't want Maida to leave at all. It was clear she was anxious to keep the "dear child safe in the fold." But Maida wouldn't inherit a dime of her father's money if she didn't follow his wishes, which wouldn’t be good for the Sisterhood; so the Mother had to quickly come up with a plan to send Maida away for the year. [Pg 95]
When we happened to arrive on the scene, she thought we were like Moses's ram caught in the bushes. She told Mamma the whole story—(a ramrod of a lady with a white face, a white dress, and a long, floating white veil, she was) asking right out if we'd take Maida with us to Europe.
When we got to the scene, she thought we were like Moses's ram stuck in the bushes. She told Mom the entire story—(a strict lady with a pale face, a white dress, and a long, flowing white veil, she was) directly asking if we'd take Maida with us to Europe.
Mamma didn't like the idea of being chaperon for such a girl as Maida; but it was her own sister's daughter, and Mamma is as good-natured as a Mellin's Food Baby in a magazine, though she gets into little tempers sometimes. So she said, "Yes," and a fort-night later we all three sailed on a huge German steamer for Cherbourg. "At least, that's what we did in the 'dream,'" I reminded myself, when I had got so far in my thoughts, lying in the monastery bed. And by that time the light was so clear in the tiny white room, that there was no longer any doubt about it, I really was awake. I was dear little thirteen-year-old Beechy Kidder, who wasn't telling fibs about her age, because she was thirteen, and was it anybody's business if she were something more [Pg 96] besides?
Mamma wasn’t thrilled about being a chaperone for someone like Maida, but she was her sister’s daughter, and Mamma is as good-natured as a Mellin’s Food Baby in a magazine, even though she has her little tempers sometimes. So she said, "Yes," and two weeks later, the three of us set off on a huge German steamer to Cherbourg. "At least, that’s what we did in the 'dream,'" I reminded myself, as I lay in the monastery bed, thinking. By that point, the light in the tiny white room was so bright that there was no doubt about it—I was really awake. I was dear little thirteen-year-old Beechy Kidder, who wasn’t lying about her age because she really was thirteen, and was it anyone's business if she was something more [Pg 96] besides?
VIII
A CHAPTER OF PLAYING DOLLS
I looked at my bracelet-watch, which I had tucked under my pillow last night. It wasn't quite six o'clock, and we hadn't gone to bed till after one; but I knew I couldn't sleep any more, and life seemed so interesting that I thought I might as well get up to see what would come next.
I glanced at my watch that I had tucked under my pillow last night. It wasn’t quite six o’clock, and we hadn’t gone to bed until after one; but I knew I couldn’t sleep anymore, and life felt so interesting that I figured I might as well get up to see what would happen next.
The water-pitcher didn't hold much more than a quart, but I took the best bath I could, dressed, and decided to find out what the monastery grounds were like. We were not to be called till half-past seven, and it was arranged that we should start at nine, so there was an hour and a half to spare. I wondered whether I should wake Maida, and get her to go with me, but somehow I wasn't in the mood for Maida. I was afraid that, being in a monastery, she would be thinking of her precious Sisterhood and wanting to hurry back as fast as she could. She does mean to join when her year is up, I know, which is so silly of her, when the world's such a nice place; and it nearly gives me nervous prostration to hear her talk about it. Not that she often does; but it's bad enough to see it in her eyes.
The water pitcher didn’t hold much more than a quart, but I took the best bath I could, got dressed, and decided to explore the monastery grounds. We weren't supposed to be called until half-past seven, and it was planned that we would start at nine, so I had an hour and a half to kill. I thought about waking Maida to join me, but I just wasn’t feeling up for it. I was worried that being in a monastery would make her think about her precious Sisterhood and want to rush back as quickly as possible. I know she plans to join once her year is up, which I think is so silly considering how nice the world is; it almost gives me anxiety just to hear her talk about it. Not that she mentions it often, but it’s enough to see it in her eyes.
Maida is a perfect dear, much too good for us, and she always knows the proper etiquetical thing to do when Mamma and I are wobbly; but she is such an edelweiss that I'm always being tempted to claw her down from her high white crags and then regretting it afterwards. Mamma gets cross with her too, when she's particularly exalted, but we both love her dearly; and we ought to, for she's always doing something sweet for us. Only [Pg 97] she's a great deal too humble. I suppose it's the thing to be like that in a Sisterhood, but Mamma and I aren't a Sisterhood, and the sooner Maida realizes that there's such a place as the world, the better it will be for her.
Maida is a perfect sweetheart, way too good for us, and she always knows the right thing to do when Mom and I are feeling uncertain; but she’s such a saint that I often want to pull her down from her high pedestal and then regret it afterward. Mom gets frustrated with her too when she’s being particularly high and mighty, but we both love her very much; and we should because she’s always doing something nice for us. Only [Pg 97] she’s way too modest. I guess that’s how you’re supposed to be in a Sisterhood, but Mom and I aren’t a Sisterhood, and the sooner Maida understands that the world exists, the better it will be for her.
So I didn't wake Maida, but went tiptoeing out into the long corridor, and got lost several times looking for the way out of doors.
So I didn't wake Maida, but quietly slipped out into the long hallway and got lost a few times trying to find the exit.
At last I was in the garden, though, and it was very quaint and pretty, with unexpected nooks, old, moss-covered stone seats, and a sundial that you'd pay hundreds of dollars for in America. Staring up at the house I thought a window-shutter moved; but I didn't attach any importance to that until, after I'd crossed several small bridges and discovered a kind of island with the river rushing by on both sides, I saw Prince Dalmar-Kalm coming towards me.
At last, I was in the garden, and it was very charming and beautiful, with surprising little corners, old, moss-covered stone benches, and a sundial that would cost you hundreds of dollars in America. As I looked up at the house, I thought I saw a window shutter move; but I didn’t think much of it until, after crossing several small bridges and finding a kind of island with the river flowing rapidly on both sides, I saw Prince Dalmar-Kalm approaching me.
I was sitting on a bench on the little green island, where I pretended to be gazing down at the water and not to see him till he was close by; for I was in hope that he wouldn't notice me in my grey dress among the trees. I don't believe the Prince's best friends would call him an early morning man. He's the kind that oughtn't to be out before lunch, and he goes especially well with gaslight or electricity. I felt sure he'd be unbearable before breakfast—either his breakfast or mine.
I was sitting on a bench on the small green island, where I acted like I was looking at the water and didn't see him until he got close; I hoped he wouldn't spot me in my grey dress among the trees. I doubt the Prince's closest friends would describe him as a morning person. He’s the type who shouldn't be up before lunch, and he really shines in gaslight or electric light. I was certain he'd be unbearable before breakfast—either his breakfast or mine.
"It's a pity," I thought, "that I can't run down as rapidly from the age of thirteen to the age of one as I have from seventeen to thirteen. When the Prince found me. I should be sitting on the grass playing with dandelions and saying. 'Da, da?' which would disgust him so much that he'd stalk away and leave me in peace to grow up in time for breakfast."
"It's a shame," I thought, "that I can't go back from thirteen to one as quickly as I did from seventeen to thirteen. If the Prince found me, I would be sitting on the grass playing with dandelions and saying, 'Da, da?' which would annoy him so much that he’d walk away and leave me alone to grow up in time for breakfast."
But even a child must draw the line somewhere; and presently the Prince said "Good-morning" (so nicely that I thought he must have had a cracker or two in his pocket), asking if he might sit by me on the bench.
But even a child has to set some boundaries; and soon the Prince said "Good morning" (so sweetly that I thought he must have had a few treats in his pocket), asking if he could sit next to me on the bench.
"I was just going in to wake Mamma," I replied, and I wondered whether, if I jumped up suddenly, his end of the bench [Pg 98] would go down and tilt him into the river. It would have been fun to see His Highness become His Lowness, and to tell Sir Ralph Moray afterwards, but just as I was on the point of making a spring, he remarked that he had seen me come out, and followed for a particular reason. If I tumbled him into the water, I might never hear that reason; so seventeen-year-old curiosity overcame thirteen-year-old love of mischief, and I sat still.
"I was just going in to wake Mom," I replied, and I wondered if, when I jumped up suddenly, his end of the bench [Pg 98] would drop and tip him into the river. It would have been fun to see His Highness become His Lowness and to tell Sir Ralph Moray later, but just as I was about to make a move, he mentioned that he had seen me come out and followed for a specific reason. If I knocked him into the water, I might never find out that reason; so my seventeen-year-old curiosity won over my thirteen-year-old mischief, and I stayed put.
"As you have only just come out, I don't see why you should be just going in, unless it is to get away from me," said the Prince, "and I should be sorry to think that, because you are such a dear little girl, and I am very fond of you."
"As you just came out, I don’t understand why you’d go back in, unless you’re trying to escape from me," said the Prince, "and I’d be sad to think that, because you’re such a sweet girl, and I really like you."
"So was Papa," said I, with my best twelve-and-a-half-year-old expression.
"So was Dad," I said, with my best expression for a twelve-and-a-half-year-old.
"But I am not quite ancient enough to be your Papa," replied the Prince, "so you need not name us together like that."
"But I'm not quite old enough to be your dad," replied the Prince, "so you don't have to put us together like that."
"Aren't you?" I asked, with big eyes.
"Aren't you?" I asked, wide-eyed.
"Well, that depends on how old you are, my dear."
"Well, that depends on your age, my dear."
"I'm too old for you to call your dear, unless you are old enough to be my Papa," was the sage retort of Baby Beechy.
"I'm too old for you to call me dear, unless you are old enough to be my Dad," was the wise reply of Baby Beechy.
"I'm over thirty," said the Prince.
"I'm over thirty," said the Prince.
"Yes, I know," said I. "I found the Almanach de Gotha on the table of our hotel at Cap Martin, and you were in it."
"Yeah, I know," I said. "I found the Almanach de Gotha on the table in our hotel at Cap Martin, and you were listed in it."
"Naturally," said the Prince, but he got rather red, as people always do when they find out that you know just how far over thirty they've really gone. "But I'm not married," he went on, "therefore you cannot think of me as of your papa."
"Sure," said the Prince, but he blushed a bit, like people always do when they realize you know exactly how much older they are than they want to reveal. "But I'm not married," he continued, "so you can't think of me as your dad."
"I don't think of you much as anything," said I. "I'm too busy."
"I don’t really think about you at all," I said. "I’m too busy."
"Too busy! Doing what?"
"Too busy! Doing what, exactly?"
"Playing dolls," I explained.
"Playing with dolls," I explained.
"I wish you were a little older," said the Prince, with a good imitation of a sigh. "Ah, why haven't you a few years more?"
"I wish you were a little older," said the Prince, letting out a somewhat exaggerated sigh. "Ah, why can't you have just a few more years?"
"You might ask Mamma," I replied. "But then, if I had, she would have more too wouldn't she?"
"You might ask Mom," I replied. "But then, if I had, she would have more too, wouldn't she?"
"That would be a pity. She is charming as she is. She must [Pg 99] have married when almost a child."
"That would be a shame. She’s lovely just the way she is. She must have gotten married when she was practically a kid."
"Did you come out here at this time of the morning to ask me about Mamma's marriage?" I threw at him. "Because, if that was your reason, I'd rather go in to my dolls."
"Did you come out here this morning to ask me about Mom’s marriage?" I shot back at him. "Because if that was your reason, I’d rather go back to my dolls."
"No, no," protested the Prince, in a hurry. "I came to talk about yourself."
"No, no," the Prince hurriedly protested. "I came to talk about you."
I began to feel an attack of giggles coming on, but I stopped them by holding my breath, as you do for hiccoughs, and thinking about Job, which, if you can do it soon and solemnly enough, is quite a good preventive. I knew now exactly why Prince Dalmar-Kalm had dashed on his clothes at sight of me and come into the garden on an empty stomach. He had thought, if he could get me all alone for half an hour (which he'd often tried to do and never succeeded) he could find out a lot of things that he would like to know. Perhaps he felt it was impossible for anybody to be as young as I seem, so that was what he wanted to find out about first. If I wasn't, he would flirt; if I was, he would merely pump.
I started to feel a giggle attack coming on, but I held it back by holding my breath, like you do when you get the hiccups, and thinking about Job, which, if you can do it soon and seriously enough, is actually a pretty good way to prevent it. I now understood exactly why Prince Dalmar-Kalm had rushed to get dressed when he saw me and came into the garden on an empty stomach. He thought that if he could get me alone for half an hour (which he had tried many times without success), he could learn a lot of things he wanted to know. Maybe he believed it was impossible for anyone to be as young as I looked, so he wanted to find that out first. If I wasn't, he would flirt; if I was, he would just try to get information.
There wasn't much time to decide on a "course of action," as Mamma's lawyer in Denver says; but I put on my thinking-cap and tied it tight under my chin for a minute. "There's more fun to be had in playing with him than with dolls," I said to myself, "if I set about it in the right way. But what is the right way? I can't be bothered having him for my doll, because he'd take up too much time. Shall I give him to Maida? No, I'll lend him to Mamma to play with, so long as she plays the way I want her to, and doesn't get in earnest."
There wasn't much time to decide on a "course of action," as Mom's lawyer in Denver says; but I put on my thinking cap and tied it tight under my chin for a minute. "There's more fun to be had playing with him than with dolls," I told myself, "if I approach it the right way. But what is the right way? I don't want him as my doll because he would take up too much time. Should I give him to Maida? No, I'll lend him to Mom to play with, as long as she plays how I want her to and doesn’t get too serious."
"What are you anxious to say about me that can't wait till breakfast?" I asked.
"What do you need to tell me that can't wait until breakfast?" I asked.
"Those men will be at breakfast," said he. "They are in the position of your couriers, yet they put themselves forward, as if on an equality with me. I do not find that conducive to conversation."
"Those men will be at breakfast," he said. "They're like your couriers, yet they act as though they're on the same level as me. I don't think that makes for good conversation."
"Mamma asked Maida yesterday whether it was better to be an Austrian prince, or an English baronet?" said I. "Sir Ralph Moray's a baronet."
"Mama asked Maida yesterday if it was better to be an Austrian prince or an English baronet?" I said. "Sir Ralph Moray is a baronet."
"Oh, he is. Mamma looked him out in Burke the very day I found you were thirty-nine in the Almanach de Gotha."
"Oh, he really is. Mom found him in Burke the very day I discovered you were thirty-nine in the Almanach de Gotha."
"Anybody can be a baronet. That is nothing. It is a mere word."
"Anyone can be a baronet. It's not a big deal. It's just a word."
"It's in three syllables, and 'prince' is only in one. Besides, Austrians are foreigners, and Englishmen aren't."
"It's three syllables long, and 'prince' is just one. Plus, Austrians are foreigners, but Englishmen aren't."
"Is that what Miss Destrey said to your Mamma?"
"Is that what Miss Destrey told your mom?"
"No, because Mamma's a foreign Countess now, and it might have hurt her feelings. Maida said she felt more at home with a plain mister—like Mr. Barrymore, for instance; only he's far from plain."
"No, because Mom's a foreign Countess now, and it might have hurt her feelings. Maida said she felt more at home with a regular guy—like Mr. Barrymore, for example; only he's far from regular."
"You consider him handsome?"
"Do you think he's handsome?"
"Oh, yes, we all do."
"Oh, yes, we all do."
"But I think you have not known him and Sir Ralph Moray for long. Your Mamma has not mentioned how she met them, but from one or two things that have been dropped, I feel sure they are in her employ—that she has hired them to take you about in their very inadequate car; is it not so?"
"But I think you haven't known him and Sir Ralph Moray for very long. Your mom hasn’t explained how she met them, but from a couple of hints I've picked up, I'm pretty sure they work for her—that she has hired them to take you around in their rather inadequate car; isn’t that right?"
"I'll ask Mamma and tell you what she says, if you'd like me to," I replied.
"I'll ask Mom and let you know what she says if you want me to," I replied.
"No, no, dear child, you are too literal. It is your one fault. And I find that you are all three too trusting of strangers. It is a beautiful quality, but it must not be carried too far. Will you not let me be your friend, Miss Beechy, and come to me for advice? I should be delighted to give it, for you know what an interest I take in all connected with you. There! Now you have heard what I followed you out especially to say. I hoped that this would be a chance to establish a confidential relationship between us. Voulez-vous, ma chère petite?"
"No, no, dear child, you're being too literal. That's your only flaw. And I realize that all three of you are too trusting of strangers. It's a lovely quality, but it should have its limits. Will you let me be your friend, Miss Beechy, and come to me for advice? I would be thrilled to offer it, as you know how much I care about everything related to you. There! Now you've heard what I came out here to say. I hoped this would be an opportunity to build a trusting relationship between us. Voulez-vous, ma chère petite?"
"What kind of a relationship shall we establish, exactly?" I asked. "You say you don't want to be my Papa."
"What type of relationship are we going to have, then?" I asked. "You say you don't want to be my dad."
"If I were your Papa, I should be dead."
"If I were your dad, I would be dead."
"If you were my brother, and the age you are now, Mamma might as well be dead."
"If you were my brother and the age you are now, Mom might as well be dead."
[Pg 101] "Ah, I would not be your brother on any consideration. Not even your step-brother; though some step-relationships are delightful. But your Mamma is too charming—you are all too charming, for my peace of mind. I do not know how I lived before I met you."
[Pg 101] "Ah, I would never want to be your brother for any reason. Not even your step-brother; although some step-family relationships can be great. But your mom is too lovely—you are all too lovely, for my peace of mind. I don't know how I managed before I met you."
I thought that the money-lenders perhaps knew; but there are some things even little Beechy can't say.
I thought the money-lenders might know, but there are some things even little Beechy can't say.
"Your Mamma must have great responsibilities for so young a woman," he went on, while I pruned and prismed. "With her great fortune, and no one to guard her, she must often feel the weight of her burden too heavy for one pair of shoulders."
"Your mom must have a lot of responsibilities for someone so young," he continued while I pruned and prismed. "With her huge fortune and no one to protect her, she must often feel that her burden is too heavy for just one person."
"One can always spend one's fortune, and so get rid of the burden, if it's too big," said I.
"One can always spend their fortune to lighten the burden if it feels too heavy," I said.
The Prince looked horrified. "Surely she is more wise than that?" he exclaimed.
The Prince looked shocked. "Surely she's smarter than that?" he exclaimed.
"She hasn't spent it all yet, anyhow," I said.
"She hasn't spent it all yet, anyway," I said.
"Are you not anxious lest, if your Mamma is extravagant, she may throw away your fortune as well as her own; or did your Papa think of that danger, and make you quite secure?"
"Are you not worried that if your mom is reckless with money, she might waste your fortune along with hers? Or did your dad consider that risk and make sure you're completely safe?"
"I guess I shall have a little something left, no matter what happens," I admitted.
"I guess I'll have a little something left, no matter what happens," I admitted.
"Then your Papa was thoughtful for you. But was he also jealous for himself? Had I been the husband of so fascinating a woman as your Mamma, I would have put into my will a clause that, if she married again, she must forfeit everything. But it may be that Americans do not hug their jealousy in the grave."
"Then your dad cared about you. But was he also jealous for himself? If I had been the husband of such a captivating woman as your mom, I would have included a clause in my will that said if she remarried, she would lose everything. But maybe Americans don't hold onto their jealousy even after death."
"I can't imagine poor Papa hugging anything," I said. "I never heard that he objected to Mamma marrying again. Anyhow, she's had several offers already."
"I can't picture poor Dad hugging anything," I said. "I've never heard that he was against Mom remarrying. Anyway, she's already had a few offers."
"She should choose a man of title for her second husband," said the Prince, very pleased with the way the pump was working.
"She should pick a guy with a title for her second husband," said the Prince, quite happy with how well the pump was working.
"Maybe she will," I answered.
"Maybe she will," I said.
He started slightly.
He flinched slightly.
"It should be a title worth having," he said, "and a man fitted to bear it, not a paltry upstart whose father was perhaps a tradesman. [Pg 102] You, Miss Beechy, must watch over your dear Mamma and rescue her from fortune hunters. I will help. And I will protect you, also. As for Miss Destrey, beautiful as she is, I feel that she is safe from unworthy persons who seek a woman only for her money. Her face is her fortune, n'est-ce pas?"
"It should be a title that's truly deserving," he said, "and a man who’s capable of holding it, not some petty upstart whose father might have been a tradesman. [Pg 102] You, Miss Beechy, need to look out for your dear Mamma and protect her from fortune hunters. I’ll help with that. And I will also protect you. As for Miss Destrey, as beautiful as she is, I believe she is safe from unworthy people who only want a woman for her money. Her looks are her fortune, right?"
"Well, it's fortune enough for any girl," said I, thinking again of Job and all the other really solemn characters in the Old Testament as hard as ever I could.
"Well, that's good luck for any girl," I said, thinking once more of Job and all the other seriously heavy characters in the Old Testament as hard as I could.
The Prince sighed, genuinely this time, as if my answer had confirmed his worst suspicions. "He will be nice to Mamma, now," said little Beechy to big Beechy. "No more vacillating. He'll come straight to business." And promising myself some fun, I got up from the bench so cautiously that the poor river was cheated of a victim. "Now I must go in," I exclaimed. "Good-bye, Prince. Let me see; what are we to each other?"
The Prince sighed, really this time, as if my answer had confirmed his worst fears. "He'll be nice to Mom now," little Beechy said to big Beechy. "No more hesitating. He'll get right to the point." And promising myself a bit of fun, I got up from the bench so carefully that the poor river missed out on a victim. "Now I have to go in," I exclaimed. "Good-bye, Prince. Let me think; what are we to each other?"
"Confidants," he informed me. "You are to come to me with every difficulty. But one more word before we part, dear child. Be on your guard, and warn your Mamma to be on hers, with those two adventurers. Perhaps, also, you had better warn Miss Destrey. Who knows how unscrupulous the pair might be? And unfortunately, owing to the regrettable arrangements at present existing, I cannot always be at hand to watch over you all."
"Confidants," he told me. "You should come to me with every problem. But one last thing before we say goodbye, dear child. Stay alert, and have your mom do the same with those two strangers. You might also want to give Miss Destrey a heads-up. Who knows how ruthless they could be? And unfortunately, because of the unfortunate situation we’re in right now, I can’t always be around to look out for all of you."
"Owing a little to your automobile too, maybe," said I. "By the way, what is its state of health?"
"Owing a bit to your car too, maybe," I said. "By the way, how's it running?"
"There has been no room for the automobile in my thoughts," said the Prince, with a cooled-down step-fatherly smile. "But I have no doubt it will be in good marching order by the time it is wanted, as my chauffeur was to rise at four, knock up a mechanic at some shop in the village, and make the new change-speed lever which was broken yesterday. If you are determined to leave me so soon, I will console myself by finding Joseph and seeing how he is getting on."
"There hasn’t been any space for the car in my thoughts," said the Prince, with a relaxed, step-fatherly smile. "But I’m sure it will be in perfect shape by the time it’s needed, since my chauffeur was set to get up at four, wake up a mechanic at some shop in the village, and fix the new gear shift that broke yesterday. If you’re really set on leaving me so soon, I’ll just comfort myself by finding Joseph and seeing how he’s doing."
We walked together towards the house, which had opened several of its green eyelids now, and at the mouth of a sort of [Pg 103] stucco tunnel which led to the door there was Joseph himself—a piteous, dishevelled Joseph, looking as if birds had built nests on him and spiders had woven webs round him for years.
We walked together toward the house, which had now opened a few of its green shutters, and at the entrance of a kind of [Pg 103] stucco tunnel leading to the door stood Joseph himself—a miserable, unkempt Joseph, looking as if birds had made nests in his hair and spiders had been spinning webs around him for years.
"Well," exclaimed the Prince with the air of one warding off a blow. "What has happened? Have you burnt my automobile, or are you always like this when you get up early?"
"Well," the Prince exclaimed, as if trying to deflect a blow. "What happened? Did you burn my car, or are you always like this in the morning?"
"I am not an incendiary, Your Highness," said Joseph, in his precise French, which it's easy to understand, because when he wishes to be dignified he speaks slowly. "I do not know what I am like, unless it is a wreck, in which case I resemble your automobile. As you left her last night, so she is now, and so she is likely to remain, unless the gentlemen of the other car will have the beneficence to pull her up a still further and more violent hill to the village of Tenda. There finds himself the only mechanic within fifty miles."
"I’m not a troublemaker, Your Highness," Joseph said in his clear French, which is easy to follow since he speaks slowly when he wants to be dignified. "I’m not sure what I’m like, unless it’s a wreck, in which case I’m like your car. Just like you left it last night, that's how it is now, and that's probably how it will stay, unless the guys from the other car are kind enough to pull it up an even steeper hill to the village of Tenda. That’s where the only mechanic within fifty miles is."
"I engaged you as a mechanic!" cried the Prince
"I hired you as a mechanic!" exclaimed the Prince.
"But not as a workshop, Your Highness. That I am not and shall not be this side of Paradise. And it is a workshop that we must have."
"But not as a workshop, Your Highness. That's not what I am and won't be on this side of Paradise. And it's a workshop that we need to have."
"Do not let me keep you, Miss Beechy," said the Prince, "if you wish to go to your Mamma. This little difficulty will arrange itself."
"Don't let me hold you up, Miss Beechy," said the Prince, "if you want to go to your mom. This little issue will sort itself out."
I adore rows, and I should have liked to stay; but I couldn't think of any excuse, so I skipped into the house, and almost telescoped (as they say of railroad trains) with the nice monk, who was talking to Maida in the hall.
I love lines, and I would have liked to stay; but I couldn't come up with any excuse, so I hurried into the house, and nearly collided (as they say about trains) with the nice monk, who was chatting with Maida in the hall.
I supposed she was telling him about the Sisters, but she was quite indignant at the suggestion, and said she had been asking if we could have breakfast in the garden. The monk had given his consent, and she had intended to have everything arranged out doors, as a surprise, by the time we all came down.
I thought she was talking to him about the Sisters, but she was really offended by the idea and said she had been asking if we could have breakfast in the garden. The monk had agreed, and she planned to have everything set up outside as a surprise by the time we all came down.
"Aunt Kathryn is up; I've been doing her hair," explained Maida, "but we didn't hear a sound from your room, so we decided not to disturb you. What have you been about, you weird [Pg 104] child?"
"Aunt Kathryn is awake; I've been doing her hair," Maida said, "but we didn't hear anything from your room, so we thought it was better not to disturb you. What have you been up to, you strange [Pg 104] child?"
"Playing dolls," said I, and ran off to help Mamma put on her complexion.
"Playing with dolls," I said, and ran off to help Mom with her makeup.
But it was on already, all except the icing. I confessed the Prince to her, and she looked at me sharply. "Don't forget that you're a little girl now, Beechy," she reminded me. "What were you talking about?"
But it was already happening, everything except the icing. I admitted the Prince to her, and she shot me a quick look. "Don’t forget that you’re still a little girl, Beechy," she reminded me. "What were you talking about?"
"You and my other dolls, Mamma," said I. "Even when I was seventeen I never flirted fasting."
"You and my other dolls, Mom," I said. "Even when I was seventeen, I never flirted for long."
"What did you say about me, dearest?"
"What did you say about me, love?"
"Oh, it was the Prince who said things about you. You can have him to play with, if you want to."
"Oh, it was the Prince who said things about you. You can play with him if you want."
"Darling, you shouldn't talk of playing. This is a very serious consideration," said Mamma. "I never heard much about Austrians at home. Most foreigners there were Germans, which made one think of beer and sausages. I do wonder what standing an Austrian Prince would have in Denver? Should you suppose he would be preferred to—to persons of less exalted rank who were—who were not quite so foreign?"
"Sweetheart, you shouldn't joke about playing around. This is a very serious matter," said Mom. "I didn't hear much about Austrians back home. Most of the foreigners there were Germans, which made me think of beer and sausages. I really wonder what kind of standing an Austrian Prince would have in Denver? Do you think he would be preferred over—over people of lower status who were—who were not quite as foreign?"
"Do the Prince and Sir Ralph Moray intend to go over as samples?" I asked sweetly, but Mamma only simpered, and as a self-respecting child I cannot approve of a parent's simpering.
"Are the Prince and Sir Ralph Moray planning to go over as samples?" I asked nicely, but Mom just smiled weakly, and as a self-respecting kid, I can't condone a parent's weak smiles.
"I wish you wouldn't be silly, Beechy," she said. "It is a step, being a Countess, but it is not enough."
"I wish you wouldn't be ridiculous, Beechy," she said. "Becoming a Countess is a big deal, but it's not everything."
"You mean, the more crowns you have, the more crowns you want."
"You mean, the more crowns you have, the more crowns you want."
"I mean nothing of the sort," snapped Mamma, "but I have some ambition, otherwise what would have been the good of coming to Europe? And if one gets opportunities, it would be sinful to neglect them. Only—one wants to be sure that one has taken the best."
"I don't mean anything like that," snapped Mamma, "but I have some ambition; otherwise, what would be the point of coming to Europe? And if you get opportunities, it would be a shame to ignore them. But—one wants to be sure they've chosen the best."
"There they all three are, in the yard," I remarked, pointing out of the window at the Opportunities, who were discoursing earnestly with Joseph. "Of course, I'm too young now to judge of such matters, but if it was I who had to choose—"
"There they all three are, in the yard," I said, pointing out of the window at the Opportunities, who were talking seriously with Joseph. "Of course, I'm too young now to judge such things, but if it were up to me to decide—"
[Pg 105] "Well?"
"What's up?"
"I'd toss up a penny, and whichever side came, I'd take—"
"I'd flip a coin, and whatever side it landed on, I'd go with that—"
"Yes?"
"Yes?"
"Mr. Barrymore."
"Mr. Barrymore"
"Mr. Barrymore! But he has no title! I might as well have stayed in America."
"Mr. Barrymore! But he doesn't have a title! I might as well have stayed in America."
"I said that, because I think he'd be the hardest to get. The other two—"
"I mentioned that because I believe he would be the most difficult to reach. The other two—"
"What about them?"
"What about those?"
"Well, you don't need to decide between them yet. Just wait till we've travelled a little further, and see whether you come across anything better worth having."
"Well, you don't have to choose between them just yet. Just wait until we've traveled a bit further and see if you come across anything better."
"Oh, Beechy, I never know whether you're poking fun at me or not," sighed poor Mamma, so forlornly that I was sorry—for a whole minute—that I'd been born wicked; and I tied her [Pg 106] tulle in a lovely bow at the back of her neck, to make up.
"Oh, Beechy, I can never tell if you're joking with me or not," sighed poor Mom, sounding so sad that I felt bad—for a whole minute—that I'd been born naughty; and I tied her [Pg 106] tulle in a beautiful bow at the back of her neck to make it up to her.
IX
A CHAPTER OF REVELATIONS
Maida really was the prettiest thing ever created, when I looked down at her from Mamma's window, as she arranged flowers and cups and saucers on the table which the monk had carried out for her, into the garden. He had quite a gallant air, in his innocent way, as if he were an old beau, instead of a monk, and his poor face seemed to fall when Mamma's untitled Opportunity—all unconscious that he was an Opportunity—saw Maida, left Joseph, and sprang to her assistance. But no wonder those two men, so different one from the other, found the same joy in waiting on her! The morning sun sprinkled gold on her hair, and made her fair skin look milky white, like pearl; then, when she would pass under the arbour of trees, the shadows threw a glimmering veil over her, and turned her into a mermaid deep down in the green light of the sea.
Maida was truly the most beautiful thing ever created. As I looked down at her from Mom's window, arranging flowers and cups on the table that the monk had carried out for her into the garden, I couldn't help but admire her. He had a charming demeanor, in his innocent way, like a seasoned admirer rather than a monk, and his expression seemed to drop when Mom's untitled Opportunity—totally unaware that he was an Opportunity—saw Maida, left Joseph, and rushed to help her. But it’s no surprise that those two men, so different from each other, found joy in serving her! The morning sun sprinkled gold on her hair and made her fair skin look milky white, like a pearl; then, when she walked under the arbor of trees, the shadows cast a shimmering veil around her, transforming her into a mermaid deep within the green light of the sea.
I don't believe our glorified chauffeur would have stopped talking motor talk and run about with dishes for Mamma or me as he did for Maida. And I wonder if one of us had adopted that little scarecrow of a black dog, whether he would have given it a bath in the fountain and dried it with his pocket-handkerchief?
I don't think our fancy chauffeur would have quit talking about cars and running around with dishes for Mom or me like he did for Maida. And I wonder if one of us had adopted that scruffy little black dog, would he have given it a bath in the fountain and dried it with his pocket handkerchief?
That is often the way. If a girl has set her face against marriage and would rather be good to the poor than flirt, every man she's reluctantly forced to meet promptly falls in love with her, while all the thoroughly nice, normal female things like Mamma and me have to take a back seat.
That’s how it usually goes. If a girl is against marriage and prefers helping the poor over flirting, every guy she has to meet ends up falling for her, while all the really nice, normal women like Mom and me get ignored.
[Pg 107] By the way, Mamma and I are literally in the back seat on this automobile trip; but my name isn't Beechy Kidder if it's dull for any length of time.
[Pg 107] By the way, Mom and I are actually in the back seat on this car trip, but my name isn’t Beechy Kidder if it’s boring for even a little while.
However, this reflection is only a parenthesis in the midst of breakfast; for we all had breakfast together in the monastery garden and were as "gay as grigs." (N.B.—Some kind of animal for which Sir Ralph is responsible.)
However, this thought is just a brief aside during breakfast; we all had breakfast together in the monastery garden and were as cheerful as could be. (N.B.—Some kind of animal for which Sir Ralph is responsible.)
The Prince was nice to the two "adventurers," because he didn't want them to repent their promise to tow his car up to Tenda; Maida was nice to everybody, because a monastery was next best to a convent; Mr. Barrymore was nice to her dog; Sir Ralph and the Prince were both nice to Mamma, and Breakfast (I spell it with a capital to make it more important) was nice to the poor little girl who would have had nobody to play with, if each one hadn't been a dancing doll of hers without realizing it.
The Prince was kind to the two "adventurers" because he didn’t want them to regret their promise to tow his car up to Tenda; Maida was kind to everyone because a monastery was the next best thing to a convent; Mr. Barrymore was kind to her dog; Sir Ralph and the Prince were both kind to Mom, and Breakfast (I capitalize it to emphasize its importance) was kind to the poor little girl who would have had nobody to play with if each person hadn’t been a dancing doll of hers without even knowing it.
The monk wouldn't charge us a cent for our board, so we had unconsciously been paying him a visit all the time, though paying nothing else, and the Prince had actually found fault with the coffee!
The monk didn't charge us anything for our meals, so we had been visiting him all the time without realizing it, even though we weren’t paying for anything else, and the Prince actually complained about the coffee!
However, Sir Ralph gave him a donation for the charities of the house, which he accepted, so we could bid him good-bye without feeling like tramps who had stolen a lodging in somebody's barn.
However, Sir Ralph gave him a donation for the house charities, which he accepted, so we could say goodbye without feeling like homeless people who had snuck into someone’s barn.
As our automobile had to drag the Prince's, and it appeared that Tenda was less than three miles away, Maida and I decided to walk. Sir Ralph walked with us, and the Prince looked as if he would like to, but after our talk before breakfast, he naturally felt that his place was by the side of Mamma. She comes down two inches in common-sense walking shoes, so of course hills are not for her, now that she's trying to be as beautiful as she feels; but the Prince persuaded her to sit in the tonneau of his car, as it crawled up the steep white road behind Mr. Barrymore and the Panhard, so slowly that he could pace beside her. Sir Ralph talked to Maida, as we three trailed after the two motors, and I began to wonder if I hadn't been a little too strenuous in making [Pg 108] the Prince entirely over to Mamma.
As our car had to pull the Prince's, and it seemed like Tenda was less than three miles away, Maida and I decided to walk. Sir Ralph walked with us, and the Prince looked like he wanted to join, but after our conversation before breakfast, he felt it was only right to stay by Mamma’s side. She had come down a couple of inches in her sensible walking shoes, so long hills weren't ideal for her now that she's trying to look as beautiful as she feels; but the Prince convinced her to sit in the back of his car as it slowly climbed the steep white road behind Mr. Barrymore and the Panhard, moving at such a pace that he could walk alongside her. Sir Ralph chatted with Maida while the three of us fell behind the two cars, and I started to wonder if I had been a bit too forceful in making the Prince completely devoted to Mamma.
Not that I wanted him personally, but I did want some one to want me, so presently I pretended to be tired, and running after the toiling cars, asked Mr. Barrymore whether my weight would make much difference if I sat by him.
Not that I wanted him specifically, but I did want someone to want me, so soon I pretended to be tired. While running after the moving cars, I asked Mr. Barrymore if my weight would matter much if I sat next to him.
"No more than a feather," said he, with such a delightful smile that I wished myself back at seventeen again, so that he might not talk "down" to me in that condescending, uncomfortable way that grown-ups think themselves obliged to use when they're entertaining children. If he had only known it, I should have been quite equal to entertaining him; but I was a victim to my pigtails and six inches of black silk stocking.
"No more than a feather," he said, with such a charming smile that I wished I could go back to being seventeen, so he wouldn't talk to me in that condescending, awkward way adults feel they need to use around kids. If he only knew, I would have been more than capable of entertaining him; but I was stuck being defined by my pigtails and six inches of black silk stockings.
"Do you like motoring?" he asked, conscientiously.
"Do you enjoy driving?" he asked earnestly.
"Yes," said I. "And it is a fine day. And I would rather travel than go to school. And I admire Europe almost as much as America So you needn't bother about asking me those questions. You can begin right now with something you would really like to ask."
"Yeah," I said. "And it really is a nice day. I'd rather be traveling than in school. I almost admire Europe as much as I do America. So you don't need to waste time with those questions. You can start right now with something you actually want to ask."
He laughed. "As you're so fastidious, I'd better consider a little," he said.
He laughed. "Since you're being so picky, I should probably think about it a bit," he said.
"Maybe it would save time if I should suggest some subjects," said I, "for I suppose we'll be at Tenda soon, even though the Prince's car is as big as a house, and this hill is as steep as the side of one. Would you like to ask me about Mamma's Past?"
"Maybe it would save time if I suggested some topics," I said, "since I assume we'll be at Tenda soon, even though the Prince's car is huge like a house, and this hill is as steep as the side of one. Would you like to ask me about Mom's past?"
"Good gracious, what do you take me for?" exclaimed Mr. Barrymore.
"Good grief, what do you think I am?" exclaimed Mr. Barrymore.
"I haven't decided yet," I replied, "though the Prince has talked to me quite a good deal about you."
"I still haven't made up my mind," I said, "but the Prince has mentioned you quite a bit."
"Has he, indeed? What does he know about me?" and our magnificent chauffeur turned suddenly so red under his nice dark skin, that I couldn't help wondering if, by any chance, the Prince were the least little bit right about his being an adventurer. I almost hoped he was, for it would make things so much more romantic. I felt like saying, "Don't mind me, my dear young sir. If you've anything to conceal about yourself, I shall like you all the [Pg 109] better." But what I really did say was that the Prince seemed much more interested in people's Pasts than he—Mr. Barrymore—appeared to be.
"Has he, really? What does he know about me?" Our wonderful chauffeur suddenly turned so red beneath his nice dark skin that I couldn't help but wonder if, by any chance, the Prince might be even a little right about him being an adventurer. I almost wished he was because it would make things so much more romantic. I felt like saying, "Don't worry about me, dear young man. If you have anything to hide about yourself, I’ll actually like you more." But what I actually said was that the Prince seemed much more interested in people's pasts than Mr. Barrymore appeared to be. [Pg 109]
"My future is more interesting to me than my own past, or any one else's," he retorted. But I thought that he looked a little troubled, as if he were racking his brain for what the Prince could have let out, and was too proud or obstinate to ask.
"My future matters more to me than my past or anyone else's," he shot back. But I noticed that he seemed a bit unsettled, like he was trying hard to figure out what the Prince might have revealed, and was too proud or stubborn to ask.
"You are selfish," I said. "Then there's no use my trying to make this ride pleasant for you, by telling you anecdotes of my past—or Maida's."
"You are selfish," I said. "So there's no point in me trying to make this ride enjoyable for you by sharing stories from my past—or Maida's."
At this his profile changed. I can't say his "face" because he was steering a great deal more than was flattering to me, or necessary in going up hill. Would the fish bite at that last tempting morsel of bait? I wondered. The Prince would have snapped at it; but though Mr. Barrymore's title is only that of chauffeur, he is more of a gentleman in his little finger than the Prince in his whole body. He may be an adventurer, but anyhow he isn't the kind who pumps naughty little girls about their grown-up relations' affairs.
At this point, his expression changed. I can't say his "face" because he was focused on steering much more than he needed to while going uphill, and it wasn't flattering to me. I wondered if the fish would bite at that last tempting piece of bait. The Prince would have jumped at it; but even though Mr. Barrymore's title is just chauffeur, he has more class in his little finger than the Prince has in his entire body. He might be an adventurer, but at least he's not the kind of guy who pries into young girls' families and their affairs.
"I am only concerned with yours and Miss Destrey's present," he said after a minute.
"I’m only focused on you and Miss Destrey right now," he said after a minute.
"But the present so soon becomes the past, doesn't it? There's never more than just a minute of the present, really, if you come to look at it in that way, all the rest is past and future."
"But the present quickly turns into the past, doesn’t it? There’s never more than a minute of the present, if you think about it that way; everything else is just past and future."
"Never mind," said Mr. Barrymore. "You've got more future than any of the party."
"Don't worry about it," Mr. Barrymore said. "You've got a brighter future than anyone in the group."
"And poor Maida has less."
"And poor Maida has less."
He forgot about his old steering-wheel for part of a second, and gave me such a glance that I knew I had him on my hook this time.
He forgot about his old steering wheel for a split second and gave me such a look that I knew I had him right where I wanted him this time.
"Why do you say that?" he asked, quite sharply.
"Why do you say that?" he asked, rather sharply.
"Oh, you are interested in somebody's future beside your own then?"
"Oh, you are interested in someone else's future besides your own then?"
"Who could help being—in hers?"
"Who could help being in hers?"
"You look as if you thought I meant she was dying of a decline," [Pg 110] said I. "It isn't quite as bad as that, but—well, beautiful as Maida is I wouldn't change places with her, unless I could change souls as well. It would be a good deal better for Maida in this world if she could have mine, though just the opposite in the next."
"You look like you think I meant she was dying from a decline," [Pg 110] I said. "It’s not quite that serious, but—well, as beautiful as Maida is, I wouldn't switch places with her unless I could switch souls too. It would be a lot better for Maida in this world if she could have my soul, though it would be the opposite in the next."
"Such talk clouds the sunshine," said Mr. Barrymore, "even for a stranger like me, when you prophesy gloomy mysteries for one who deserves only happiness. You said something of the sort to Moray yesterday. He told me, but I was in hope that you had been joking."
"Such talk dims the light," Mr. Barrymore said, "even for someone like me, when you predict bleak mysteries for someone who deserves nothing but happiness. You mentioned something like that to Moray yesterday. He told me, but I was hoping you were just joking."
"No," said I. "But I suppose Maida doesn't think the mysteries gloomy, or she wouldn't 'embrace' them—if that's the right word for it. Mamma and I imagined that coming to Europe would make her see differently perhaps, but it hadn't the last time I asked her. She thought Paris lots of fun, but all the same she was homesick for the stupid old convent where she was brought up, and which she is going to let swallow her up in a year."
"No," I said. "But I guess Maida doesn’t find the mysteries gloomy, or she wouldn’t 'embrace' them—if that’s the right word for it. Mom and I thought that coming to Europe might change her perspective, but it didn’t the last time I asked her. She thought Paris was a lot of fun, but still, she was homesick for that dull old convent where she grew up, and she’s going to let swallow her up in a year."
"Good Heavens, how terrible!" exclaimed our chauffeur, looking tragically handsome. "Can nothing be done to save her? Couldn't you and your mother induce her to change her mind?"
"Good heavens, how awful!" our driver exclaimed, looking dramatically charming. "Is there really nothing we can do to save her? Couldn’t you and your mom persuade her to reconsider?"
"We've tried," said I. "She saw a lot of society in Paris and when we were at Cap Martin, but it gave her the sensation of having made a whole meal on candy. Mamma has the idea of being presented to your Queen Alexandra next spring, if she can manage it, and she told Maida that, if she'd tack on a little piece to her year of travel, she might be done too, at the same time. But Maida didn't seem to care particularly about it; and the society novels that Mamma loves don't interest her a bit. Her favourite authors are Shakspere and Thomas Hardy, and she reads Cooper and Sir Walter Scott. So what can you do with a girl like that?"
"We've tried," I said. "She experienced a lot of social life in Paris and when we were at Cap Martin, but it felt like she had eaten an entire meal made of candy. Mom is thinking about being introduced to your Queen Alexandra next spring, if she can swing it, and she told Maida that if she added a little time to her year of travel, she could finish up at the same time. But Maida didn’t seem that interested in it; and the social novels that Mom loves don’t captivate her at all. Her favorite authors are Shakespeare and Thomas Hardy, and she reads Cooper and Sir Walter Scott. So what can you do with a girl like that?"
"There are other things in life besides society."
"There are more things in life than just society."
"Mamma doesn't think so. I guess we've both done all we [Pg 111] can. I'm afraid poor Maida's doomed. But there's one comfort; she'll look perfectly beautiful in the white robe and veil that her Sisterhood wears."
"Mama doesn’t think so. I guess we’ve both done all we [Pg 111] can. I’m afraid poor Maida’s doomed. But there’s one silver lining; she’ll look absolutely stunning in the white robe and veil that her Sisterhood wears."
Mr. Barrymore gave a sort of groan. "What a vocation for a girl like that!" he muttered, more to himself than to me, I imagine. "Something desperate ought to be done."
Mr. Barrymore let out a kind of groan. "What a job for a girl like that!" he murmured, more to himself than to me, I think. "Something drastic needs to be done."
"You might try to influence her," I said. "Not that I think it's likely you could. But there's no harm in trying."
"You could try to sway her," I said. "Not that I think you could. But it doesn't hurt to give it a shot."
He didn't answer, but his face was as grave as if I had just invited him to a funeral, and as even Job couldn't have kept my features from playing (why shouldn't features play, if they can work?), I hastily sought the first excuse for laughter I could find lying about loose.
He didn't reply, but his face was as serious as if I had just invited him to a funeral. Even Job couldn't have kept my expressions from showing (why shouldn’t expressions show if they can?), so I quickly looked for the first excuse for laughter I could find lying around.
"Oh, how funny!" I exclaimed. "Ha, ha, ha, how funny!"
"Oh, how funny!" I said. "Ha, ha, ha, how funny!"
"What is funny?" drearily demanded our chauffeur.
"What’s so funny?" our chauffeur asked gloomily.
"Why, that queer little grey-brown town we're coming to. It looks for all the world like an exhibition of patent beehives at a country fair."
"Why, that strange little gray-brown town we're approaching. It looks just like a display of modern beehives at a county fair."
"That is Tenda," volunteered Mr. Barrymore, still plunged in the depths of gloom. "Your unfortunate namesake, poor Beatrice di Tenda, would have been surprised to hear such a simile applied to her native town."
"That's Tenda," Mr. Barrymore said, still deep in his gloom. "Your unfortunate namesake, poor Beatrice di Tenda, would have been shocked to hear such a comparison made about her hometown."
"Who was she?" I felt bound to inquire.
"Who was she?" I felt compelled to ask.
"I was telling Miss Destrey about her yesterday. She seemed interested. Miss Destrey is very fond of history, isn't she?"
"I was talking to Miss Destrey about her yesterday. She seemed interested. Miss Destrey really loves history, doesn't she?"
"Yes. But I'm tired talking of her now. I want to hear about the other Beatrice. I suppose, if she was Italian, she was Bice too; but I'm sure her friends never made her rhyme with mice."
"Yes. But I'm tired of talking about her now. I want to hear about the other Beatrice. I guess, if she was Italian, she was Bice too; but I'm sure her friends never made her rhyme with mice."
"Her husband made her rhyme with murder. Did you never hear of the opera of Beatrice di Tenda? Her story is one of the most romantic tragedies in history. Well, there she was born, and there she lived as a beautiful young woman in that old castle whose ruined tower soars so high above your collection of beehives. When she was in her gentle prime of beauty, the ferocious Duke Filippo Maria Visconti came riding here from Milan to [Pg 112] court the sweetest lady of her day. She didn't care for him, of course, but young women of high rank had less choice in those times than they have in these, and that was the way all the mischief began. She did love somebody else, and the wicked Duke starved her to death in the tower of another old castle. When we get to Pavia, which we shall pass on the way to Milan, I'll show you and Miss Destrey where your namesake lived when she was a duchess, and died when her duke would have her for a duchess no more, but wanted somebody else. Poor Beatrice, I wonder if her spirit has ever been present at the performance of the opera, and whether she approved."
"Her husband forced her to rhyme with murder. Have you ever heard of the opera Beatrice di Tenda? Her story is one of the most romantic tragedies in history. Well, she was born there, and she lived as a lovely young woman in that old castle with the ruined tower that towers over your collection of beehives. When she was in her prime of beauty, the ruthless Duke Filippo Maria Visconti rode in from Milan to [Pg 112] court the most charming lady of her time. She didn't care for him, of course, but young women of high status had less say in those days than they do now, and that’s how all the trouble started. She was in love with someone else, and the cruel Duke starved her to death in the tower of another old castle. When we get to Pavia, which we’ll pass on our way to Milan, I'll show you and Miss Destrey where your namesake lived when she was a duchess and died because her duke didn’t want her as a duchess anymore, but wanted someone else. Poor Beatrice, I wonder if her spirit has ever been at the opera performance, and if she approved."
"I hope she came with the man she loved, and sat in a box, and that the duke was down in—in—"
"I hope she came with the man she loved and sat in a box, and that the duke was down in—in—"
"The pit," said Mr. Barrymore, laughing, and giving a glance back over his shoulder for Maida and Sir Ralph, as he stopped the car in front of a machinist's place. "Here we are, Joseph," he called to the Prince's chauffeur, who was steering the broken car. "Now, how soon do you expect to finish your job?"
"The pit," Mr. Barrymore said with a laugh, glancing back over his shoulder at Maida and Sir Ralph as he stopped the car in front of a mechanic's shop. "Here we are, Joseph," he called to the Prince's chauffeur, who was steering the damaged car. "So, how soon do you think you'll finish your work?"
"With proper tools, it should be no more than an hour's work," said Joseph, jumping down.
"With the right tools, it shouldn't take more than an hour," said Joseph, jumping down.
"An hour? Why, I should have thought three would be more like it," exclaimed Mr. Barrymore.
"An hour? I would have guessed three would be more accurate," exclaimed Mr. Barrymore.
"I am confident that I can do it in one all little hour," reiterated Joseph, and for once the Prince regarded him benignly.
"I’m sure I can do it in just an hour," Joseph said again, and for once the Prince looked at him kindly.
"Whatever Joseph's faults, he is an excellent mechanician," said His Highness. "I did not intend to ask that you would wait, but if my car can be ready so soon, perhaps you will have pity upon me, Countess, and let me escort you to the castle while Joseph is working."
"Whatever Joseph's flaws, he's a great mechanic," said His Highness. "I didn’t mean to ask you to wait, but if my car can be ready that quickly, maybe you’ll have mercy on me, Countess, and let me take you to the castle while Joseph is working."
"Castle? I don't see any castle," returned Mamma, gazing around.
"Castle? I don't see any castle," Mom replied, looking around.
"What's left of it looks more like a walking-stick than a castle," said I, pointing up to the tall, tapering finger of broken stone that almost touched the clouds.
"What's left of it looks more like a walking stick than a castle," I said, pointing up to the tall, tapering finger of broken stone that nearly touched the clouds.
"Is Mamma's new property in Dalmatia as well perserved as [Pg 113] that, Prince?"
"Is Mom's new property in Dalmatia as well preserved as [Pg 113] that, Prince?"
"You have always a joke ready, little Miss Beechy." His lips smiled; but his eyes boxed my ears. Almost I felt them tingle; and suddenly I said to myself, "Good gracious, Beechy Kidder, what if your dolls should take to playing the game their own way, in spite of you, now you've set them going! Where would you be then, I'd like to know?" And a horrid creep ran down my spine, at the thought of Prince Dalmar-Kalm as a step-father. Maybe he would shut me up in a tower and starve me to death, as the wicked duke did with the other Beatrice; and it wouldn't comfort me a bit if some one wrote an opera about my sufferings. But if he thinks he'll really get Mamma, he little knows Me, [Pg 114] that's all. We shall see what we shall see.
"You always have a joke ready, little Miss Beechy." He smiled, but his eyes were harsh. I almost felt a sting; and suddenly I thought, "Oh my gosh, Beechy Kidder, what if your dolls start acting on their own, despite you, now that you've got them going? Where would you be then?" A terrible chill ran down my spine at the idea of Prince Dalmar-Kalm as a stepfather. Maybe he would lock me in a tower and let me starve to death, like the evil duke did with the other Beatrice; and it wouldn't comfort me at all if someone wrote an opera about my hardships. But if he thinks he can really get my mom, he doesn't know me at all, that's for sure. We shall see what happens. [Pg 114]
X
A CHAPTER OF THRILLS
The hotel at Tenda is apparently the one new thing in the town, and it is new enough to more than make up for the oldness of everything else. We went there to grumble because, after we had done the ruined castle (and it had done Mamma), Joseph's "all little" hour threatened to lengthen itself into at lest two of ordinary size.
The hotel in Tenda seems to be the only new thing in town, and it’s new enough to overshadow the oldness of everything else. We went there to complain because, after we had visited the ruined castle (and it had exhausted Mamma), Joseph's "all little" hour was about to stretch into at least two regular hours.
Mr. Barrymore's eyebrows said, "I told you so," but his tongue said nothing, which was nice of it; and the Prince did all the complaining as we sat on perfectly new chairs, in a perfectly new parlour, with a smell of perfectly new plaster in the air, and plu-perfectly old newspapers on the table. According to him, Joseph was an absolutely unique villain, with a combination of deceit, treachery, procrastination, laziness, and stupidity mixed with low cunning, such as could not be paralleled in the history of motor-men; and it was finally Mr. Barrymore who defended the poor absent wretch.
Mr. Barrymore's eyebrows seemed to say, "I told you so," but he didn't say anything, which was considerate of him; and the Prince did all the complaining while we sat on brand new chairs, in a brand new parlor, with the smell of fresh plaster in the air, and ancient newspapers on the table. He claimed that Joseph was a truly one-of-a-kind villain, combining deceit, betrayal, procrastination, laziness, and stupidity with a touch of low cunning, unlike anything seen in the history of motor-men; and in the end, it was Mr. Barrymore who defended the poor unfortunate absent guy.
"Really, you know," said he, "I don't think he's worse than other chauffeurs. Curiously enough, the whole tribe seems to be alike in several characteristics, and it would be an interesting study in motor lore to discover whether they've all—by a singular coincidence—been born with those peculiarities, whether they've been thrust upon them, or whether they've achieved them!"
"Honestly, you know," he said, "I don't think he's any worse than other drivers. Oddly enough, the entire group seems to share several traits, and it would be fascinating to study in automotive history to find out if they were all—by some strange coincidence—born with those quirks, if they've been forced upon them, or if they've developed them on their own!"
"Joseph never achieved anything," broke in the Prince.
"Joseph never accomplished anything," interrupted the Prince.
"That disposes of one point of view, then," went on Mr. Barrymore. [Pg 115] "Anyhow, he's cut on an approved pattern. All the professional chauffeurs I ever met have been utterly unable to calculate time or provide for future emergencies. They're pessimists at the moment of an accident, and optimists afterwards—until they find out their mistakes by gloomy experience, which, however, seldom teaches them anything."
"That takes care of one perspective, then," Mr. Barrymore continued. [Pg 115] "Anyway, he's designed to an accepted standard. All the professional drivers I've ever encountered have been completely unable to manage time or prepare for unexpected situations. They're pessimistic in the heat of an accident and optimistic afterward—until they learn from their mistakes through harsh experiences, which, however, usually doesn’t teach them much."
The Prince shrugged his shoulders in a superior way he has, and drawled, "Well, you are better qualified to judge the brotherhood, than the rest of us, at all events, my dear sir."
The Prince shrugged his shoulders in his usual condescending way and said, "Well, you’re definitely better qualified to judge the brotherhood than the rest of us, at any rate, my dear sir."
Mr. Barrymore got rather red, but he only laughed and answered, "Yes, that's why I spoke in Joseph's defence. A fellow-feeling makes us wondrous kind," while Maida looked as if she would like to set the new dog at His Highness
Mr. Barrymore flushed a bit, but he just laughed and replied, "Yeah, that's why I stood up for Joseph. A shared experience makes us really compassionate," while Maida appeared to be considering letting the new dog loose on His Highness.
The fact is she has got into her head that our handsome chauffeur is very unfortunate; and when Maida is sorry for anybody or anything she'll stick by that creature—man, woman, or dog—through thick and thin. And funnier still, he is sorry for her. Well, it all comes into my game of dolls. But I'm not sure that I shan't fall in love with him myself, and want to keep him up my sleeve against the time when I'm seventeen again
The truth is she believes our good-looking chauffeur is pretty unlucky; and when Maida feels sorry for someone or something, she’ll support that person—man, woman, or dog—no matter what. Even funnier, he feels sorry for her. Anyway, it all plays into my game of dolls. But I'm not sure I won't end up falling for him myself and wanting to save him for when I'm seventeen again.
The hotel clock was so new that it hadn't learned to go yet; and I never saw people glance at their watches so much, even in the midst of a long sermon, as we did, sitting on those new chairs in that new parlour. At last Sir Ralph Moray proposed that we should have lunch; and we had it, with delicious trout as new as the dish on which they came frizzling to the table. While we were eating them Joseph was announced, and was ordered to report himself in the dining-room. He seemed quite cheerful—for him.
The hotel clock was so new it hadn’t even started ticking yet; and I’ve never seen people check their watches so often, not even during a long sermon, as we did sitting in those new chairs in that new parlor. Finally, Sir Ralph Moray suggested we should have lunch, and we enjoyed it, with delicious trout that was as fresh as the dish it arrived on, sizzling at the table. While we were eating, Joseph was announced and ordered to report to the dining room. He seemed quite cheerful—for him.
"I came to tell Your Highness that I shall be able to finish in time to start by four o'clock this afternoon," said he complacently.
"I came to inform Your Highness that I'll be able to finish in time to leave by four o'clock this afternoon," he said confidently.
Up sprang the Prince in a rage and began to shout French things which must have been shocking, for Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore both scowled at him till he superficially calmed down.
Up jumped the Prince in a rage and started shouting French insults that must have been shocking, because Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore both glared at him until he somewhat settled down.
[Pg 116] Joseph had either forgotten that he'd promised to be ready hours ago, or else he didn't see why we should attach the least importance to a tiny discrepancy like that.
[Pg 116] Joseph had either forgotten that he promised to be ready hours ago, or he didn't see why we should care about such a small detail.
In the midst of the argument, while the Prince's language got hot and his fish cold, Mr. Barrymore turned to Mamma and proposed that we should start directly after lunch, as most probably the Prince wouldn't get off till next morning.
In the middle of the argument, while the Prince was getting heated and his fish was getting cold, Mr. Barrymore turned to Mom and suggested that we should leave right after lunch, since the Prince probably wouldn’t leave until the next morning.
The prospect of staying all night at Tenda, with nothing to do but sit on the new chairs till bed time, was too much even for Mamma's wish to please Titled Opportunity Number One. She nervously elected to go on with Titled Opportunity Number Two and his friend.
The idea of spending the whole night at Tenda, with nothing to do but sit on the new chairs until bedtime, was too much even for Mom's desire to impress Titled Opportunity Number One. She anxiously decided to continue with Titled Opportunity Number Two and his friend.
I thought that the Prince would be plunged in gloom by this decision, even if he didn't try to break it. To my surprise, however, he not only made no objection, but encouraged the idea. He wouldn't wish to sacrifice us on the altar of his misfortune, he said. We must go on, dine at Cuneo, and he would meet us at the hotel there, which he could easily do, as, when once his automobile was itself again, it would travel at more than twice the speed of ours. "Especially up hill," he added. "The landlord has told Joseph that beyond Tenda the ascent is stupendous, nothing less than Alpine. You will be obliged to travel at a snail's pace, even if you reach the top without every passenger walking up the hill, which mounts, curve after curve, for miles."
I thought the Prince would be really down about this decision, even if he didn't try to change it. To my surprise, he not only didn't object but actually supported the idea. He didn’t want to sacrifice us because of his bad luck, he said. We should go ahead, have dinner at Cuneo, and he would meet us at the hotel there, which he could easily do since, once his car was fixed, it would go more than twice as fast as ours. "Especially uphill," he added. "The landlord told Joseph that beyond Tenda, the climb is incredible, nothing less than Alpine. You’ll have to go at a snail's pace, even if you make it to the top without every passenger having to walk up that winding road for miles."
Poor Mamma's face fell several inches. She had had enough walking up hill for one day, as the Prince knew well, and no doubt he enjoyed the chance of disgusting her with motoring in other people's automobiles. But Mr. Barrymore's expression would have put spirit into a mock turtle. "I know what the gradients are," he said, "and what we can do. To show that I'm an exception which proves the rule I laid down for chauffeurs, I'm not making any experiments without counting the cost. I hope we shall get to Cuneo by tea-time, not dinner-time, and push on to Alessandria as a better stopping-place for the night."
Poor Mamma's expression dropped several inches. She had walked enough uphill for one day, as the Prince knew well, and he likely enjoyed the chance to annoy her with rides in other people's cars. But Mr. Barrymore's expression would have energized even a mock turtle. "I know what the inclines are," he said, "and what we can handle. To prove that I'm an exception that verifies the rule I set for drivers, I'm not trying anything without considering the consequences. I hope we can reach Cuneo by tea time, not dinner time, and continue on to Alessandria, which is a better place to stop for the night."
[Pg 117] "Very well. In any case I shall expect to catch you up at Cuneo," said the Prince, "and so, if you please, we will make a rendezvous at a certain hotel."
[Pg 117] "Sounds good. Anyway, I'll look forward to meeting you in Cuneo," said the Prince, "so let's plan to meet at a specific hotel."
Baedeker was produced, a hotel was selected, and half an hour later His Highness was bidding us au revoir, as we settled ourselves in our luggage-wreathed car, to leave the town of Beatrice and the dominating, file-on-end shaped ruin.
Baedeker was published, a hotel was chosen, and half an hour later, His Highness was saying goodbye as we got comfortable in our car surrounded by luggage, leaving the town of Beatrice and the imposing, end-to-end shaped ruins.
We had all been up so early that it seemed as if the day were growing old, but really it was only one o'clock, for we'd lunched at twelve, and all the afternoon was before us in which to do, or not to do, our great climbing act.
We had all gotten up so early that it felt like the day was getting old, but it was only one o'clock. We had lunch at twelve, and the whole afternoon was ahead of us to do, or not do, our big climbing act.
Just to see how our gorgeous chauffeur would look, I asked if I mightn't sit on the front seat for a change, because my feet had gone to sleep in the tonneau yesterday. I half-expected that he would shuffle round for an excuse to keep Maida; but with an immovable face he said that was for the three ladies to arrange. Of course, Maida must have wanted to be in front, but she is so horribly unselfish that she glories in sacrificing herself, so she gave up as meekly as if she had been a lady's-maid, or a dormouse, and naturally I felt a little brute; but I usually do feel a brute with Maida; she's so much better than any one I ever saw that I can't help imposing on her, and neither can Mamma. It's a waste of good material being so awfully pretty as Maida, if you're never going to do anything for people to forgive.
Just to see how our gorgeous chauffeur would look, I asked if I could sit in the front seat for a change because my feet had gone to sleep in the back yesterday. I half-expected that he would find an excuse to keep Maida there; but with a straight face, he said that was up to the three ladies to decide. Of course, Maida must have wanted to sit in front, but she's so incredibly unselfish that she takes pride in sacrificing herself, so she gave up as willingly as if she were a lady's maid or a dormouse, and naturally, I felt a bit like a jerk; but I usually do feel that way around Maida; she’s so much better than anyone I’ve ever met that I can’t help taking advantage of her, and neither can Mom. It's such a waste to have someone as stunning as Maida if she’s never going to do anything that people can forgive her for.
Yesterday we had been too hot in our motor-coats till night came on. To-day, when we had left Tenda a little way below, we opened our shawl-straps and got out our fur stoles.
Yesterday we had been too hot in our motor coats until night arrived. Today, after we had passed Tenda just a bit down the road, we loosened our shawl straps and took out our fur stoles.
At first I thought that the Prince had only been trying to frighten us, and make us wish we were in a big car like his, for the road went curving up as gracefully and easily as a swan makes tracks in the water, and our automobile hummed cheerfully to itself, forging steadily up. It was so nice having nothing to drag that, by comparison with yesterday afternoon, we moved like a ship under full sail; but suddenly the road reared up on its hind feet and stood almost erect, as though it had been frightened [Pg 118] by the huge snow-capped mountains that all at once crowded round us. An icy wind rushed down from the tops of the great white towers, as if with the swooping wings of a giant bird, and it took our car's breath away.
At first, I thought the Prince was just trying to scare us and make us wish we were in a fancy car like his. The road curved up as smoothly and easily as a swan gliding through water, and our car hummed happily as it powered steadily uphill. It felt great having nothing to weigh us down; compared to yesterday afternoon, we were moving like a ship catching full wind. But then the road suddenly steepened, as if it had been startled by the looming snow-capped mountains that surrounded us out of nowhere. A cold wind swept down from the tops of the massive white peaks, like the wings of a giant bird, and it took the breath right out of our car.
Instead of humming it began to pant, and I noticed the difference at once. If I'd been Maida, I should probably have been too polite to put questions about the thing's behaviour, for fear Mr. Barrymore might think I hadn't proper confidence in him; but being Beechy, with no convictions to live up to, I promptly asked if anything was the matter.
Instead of humming, it started to pant, and I noticed the difference immediately. If I had been Maida, I probably would have been too polite to ask questions about the creature's behavior, worried that Mr. Barrymore might think I lacked confidence in him. But since I was Beechy, with no expectations to meet, I quickly asked if something was wrong.
"The car's only trying to tell me that she can't manage to spurt up on third speed any more," said he. "I shall put on the second, and you'll hear what a relief it gives to the motor."
"The car's just trying to tell me that it can't accelerate in third gear anymore," he said. "I'll switch to second gear, and you'll see how much easier it makes the engine run."
It certainly was as if the automobile had gulped down a stimulant, and revived in a second. But as we turned a shoulder of the mountain, coming in sight of a railroad depôt, a high embankment, and a monstrous wall of mountain with the sky for a ceiling, I couldn't help giving a little squeak.
It really felt like the car had taken a shot of energy and came back to life in an instant. But as we rounded a bend in the mountain and saw a train station, a steep embankment, and a huge wall of mountain with the sky overhead, I let out a small gasp.
"Is that a road?" I asked, pointing up to a network like a skein of silk twisted in a hundred zigzags across the face of the mountain from bottom to top. "Why, it's like the way up Jack's beanstalk. No sane automobile could do it."
"Is that a road?" I asked, pointing to a twisted network that looked like a skein of silk snaking all over the mountain from bottom to top. "It's just like the way up Jack's beanstalk. No sane car could handle that."
"Some could," said Mr. Barrymore, "but I dare say it's lucky for us that ours hasn't got to. It's the old road, only used now to communicate with that desolate fortress you see on the top shelf of the mountain, standing up there on the sky-line like the ark on Ararat. All this country is tremendously fortified by both the French and Italians, in case they should ever come to loggerheads. Above us somewhere is a long tunnel burrowing into the col, and the new road runs through that instead of over the summit."
"Some can," Mr. Barrymore said, "but I guess it’s good for us that ours doesn’t have to. It’s the old road, now only used to connect with that lonely fortress you see on the mountain's top shelf, standing up there on the skyline like the ark on Ararat. This whole area is heavily fortified by both the French and Italians, just in case they ever clash. Somewhere above us is a long tunnel digging into the col, and the new road goes through that instead of over the peak."
"Bump!" went the car, as he finished his explanation, and then we began to wade jerkily through a thick layer of loose stones that had been spread over the road like hard butter over stale bread.
"Bump!" went the car as he wrapped up his explanation, and then we started to awkwardly navigate through a thick layer of loose stones that had been spread over the road like hard butter on stale bread.
[Pg 119] "Le corse" (that is what our landlord had called the cruel wind sweeping down from the snow mountains) was hurling itself into our faces; our fat rubber tyres were bouncing over the stones like baseballs, and I'd never been so uncomfortable nor so perfectly happy in my life. I wished I were a cat, so that I could purr, for purring has always struck me as the most thorough way of expressing satisfaction. When other people are in automobiles, and you are walking or jogging past with a pony, you glare and think what insufferable vehicles they are; but when you're spinning, or even jolting, along in one of them yourself, then you know that there's nothing else in the world as well worth doing. I made a remark like that to Mr. Barrymore, and he gave me such a friendly, appreciative look as he said, "Have you discovered all this already?" that I decided at once to eat my heart out with a vain love for him.
[Pg 119] "The race" (that’s what our landlord called the harsh wind blowing down from the snowy mountains) was hitting us in the face; our chunky rubber tires were bouncing over the rocks like baseballs, and I'd never felt so uncomfortable yet so completely happy in my life. I wished I were a cat so I could purr, since purring has always seemed to me the best way to show satisfaction. When other people are in cars, and you’re walking or jogging by on a pony, you scoff and think about how annoying those vehicles are; but when you’re zooming, or even bumping along in one yourself, you realize there’s nothing else in the world quite like it. I made a comment like that to Mr. Barrymore, and he gave me such a warm, appreciative look and said, "Have you figured all this out already?" that I instantly decided to fall head over heels for him.
I haven't been really in love before since I was ten; so the sensation was quite exciting, like picking up a lovely jewel on the street, which you aren't sure won't be claimed by somebody else. I was trying to think what else I could say to fascinate him when the car lost its breath again, and—"r-r-retch" went in another speed.
I haven't really been in love since I was ten, so the feeling was pretty thrilling, like finding a beautiful gem on the street that you worry might be picked up by someone else. I was trying to think of what else I could say to captivate him when the car sputtered again, and—"r-r-retch" went as it shifted gears.
"It's our 'first and last,'" said Mr. Barrymore. "Good old girl, she's going to do it all right, though there's many a twenty-four horse-power car that wouldn't rise to it. By Jove, this is a road—and a half. I believe, Ralph, that you and I had better jump off and ease her a bit."
"It's our 'first and last,' " Mr. Barrymore said. "Good old girl, she's going to handle it just fine, even though there are plenty of twenty-four horsepower cars that wouldn't be able to. Wow, this is quite a road. I think, Ralph, you and I should get out and lighten the load a bit."
Mamma squeaked, and begged our chauffeur not to leave us to go up by ourselves, or we should be over the awful precipice in an instant. But Mr. Barrymore explained that he wasn't deserting the ship; and he walked quickly along by the side of the car, through the bed of sharp stones, keeping his hand always on the steering-wheel like a pilot guiding a vessel among hidden rocks.
Mamma squeaked and pleaded with our driver not to leave us to go up by ourselves, or we’d be over the awful cliff in no time. But Mr. Barrymore explained that he wasn’t abandoning us; he walked quickly alongside the car, through the bed of sharp stones, keeping his hand on the steering wheel like a pilot steering a ship through hidden rocks.
Maida would have been out too, in a flash, if Mr. Barrymore had let her, but he told us all to sit still, so we did, happy (judging [Pg 120] the others by myself) in obeying him.
Maida would have jumped out too, in a second, if Mr. Barrymore had allowed her, but he told us all to stay put, so we did, feeling happy (judging the others by myself) to follow his instructions.
I hadn't supposed there could be such a road as this. If one hadn't had hot and cold creeps in one's toes for fear the "good old girl" would slide back down hill and vault into space with us in her lap, one would have been struck dumb with admiration of its magnificence. As a matter of fact, we were all three dumb as mutes, but it wasn't only admiration that paralysed my tongue or Mamma's, I know, whatever caused the phenomenon with Maida, who has no future worth clinging to.
I never imagined there could be a road like this. If you didn’t have chills running down your toes from worrying that the "good old girl" would slide back down the hill and toss us into the air with her, you would have been amazed by its beauty. The truth is, we were all three speechless, but it wasn't just awe that left my tongue tied, or Mamma's either; I know that whatever left Maida speechless had nothing to do with what lies ahead for her.
As we toiled up, in spite of the stones that did their best to keep us back, we simply hung on the breathing of the motor, as Mamma used to on mine when I was small and indulged in croup. When she gasped, we gasped too; when she seemed to falter, we involuntarily strained as if the working of our muscles could aid hers. All our bodies sympathized with the efforts of her body, which she was making for our sakes, dragging us up, up, into wonderful white, shining spaces where it seemed that summer never had been and never would dare to come.
As we climbed, despite the stones trying to hold us back, we clung to the sound of the engine, just like Mom used to when I was little and had croup. When she gasped, we gasped too; when she seemed to struggle, we instinctively tensed up, as if our muscles could somehow help hers. Every part of us felt connected to the effort she was putting in for our sake, pulling us up, up, into amazing, bright spaces where it felt like summer had never existed and would never dare to show up.
The twisted skein of silk we had looked up to was turning into a coil of rope now, stretched taut and sharp from zig to zag, and on from zag to zig again. Below, when we dared to look back and down, the coil of rope lay looser, curled on itself. The mountain-top crowned by the fort (which as Mr. Barrymore said, did certainly look like the ark on Ararat when all the rest of creation was swept off the globe) didn't appear so dimly remote now. We were coming almost into friendly relations with it, and with neighbouring mountains whose summits had seemed, a little while ago, as far away as Kingdom Come.
The twisted strand of silk we once admired was now becoming a tight coil of rope, stretched and sharp as it zigzagged back and forth. Below, when we finally dared to glance back and down, the coil of rope looked looser, curled upon itself. The mountain-top topped by the fort (which Mr. Barrymore mentioned did definitely resemble the ark on Ararat after all of creation had been wiped off the earth) didn't seem so far away anymore. We were almost developing a friendly relationship with it, as well as with the nearby mountains whose peaks had seemed, not long ago, as distant as the ends of the earth.
I began to feel at last as if I could speak without danger of giving the motor palpitation of the heart. "What are you thinking of, Maida?" I almost whispered.
I finally started to feel like I could talk without worrying about getting heart palpitations. "What are you thinking about, Maida?" I almost whispered.
"Oh!" she answered with a start, as if I'd waked her out of a dream. "I was thinking, what if, while we're still in this world we could see heaven, a far, shining city on a mountain-top like one of these. How much harder we would strive after worthiness [Pg 121] if we saw the place always with our bodily eyes; how much harder we'd try; and how much less credit it would be for those who succeeded."
"Oh!" she replied, surprised, as if I had pulled her out of a dream. "I was thinking, what if, while we're still in this world, we could see heaven, a distant, shining city on a mountaintop like one of these. How much more we would strive for worthiness [Pg 121] if we could see the place with our own eyes all the time; how much harder we’d try; and how much less credit it would give to those who succeeded."
"What are you thinking of, Mamma?" I asked. "Did the big mountains give you a thought too?"
"What are you thinking about, Mom?" I asked. "Did the big mountains inspire a thought for you too?"
"Yes, they did," said she, "but I'm afraid it was more worldly than Maida's. I was saying to myself, the difference in being down far below, where we were, and high up as we are now, is like our old life in Denver and our life here." As she went on to expound her parable, she lowered her voice, so that Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore, walking, couldn't catch a word. "In those days at home, it would have seemed as impossible that we could have princes and baronets and—and such people for our most intimate friends, as it looked a little while ago for us to get near that fort up there, or the mountain-tops. Yet we are, in—in every sense of the word, getting there."
"Yes, they did," she said, "but I’m afraid it was more about the world than Maida's. I was thinking about how different it is being down there, where we were, and high up here, like our old life in Denver compared to our life here." As she continued her story, she spoke more quietly so that Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore, who were walking nearby, couldn’t hear a word. "Back then, it would have seemed impossible for us to have princes and baronets—and people like that as our closest friends, just like it seemed impossible a little while ago for us to get close to that fort up there or the mountain tops. Yet we are, in—in every way possible, getting there."
The thoughts which the mountains had put into Maida's golden head and Mamma's (now) auburn one were so characteristic of the heads themselves that I chuckled with glee, and our two men glanced round questioningly. But in accordance with Mamma's simile, to explain to them would have been like explaining to the mountains themselves.
The ideas that the mountains had placed in Maida's golden hair and Mamma's now auburn hair were so typical of them that I couldn't help but laugh, and our two guys looked at me curiously. But, following Mamma's comparison, explaining it to them would have been like trying to explain it to the mountains themselves.
By and by, though still going up, we were on snow level. Snow lay white as Maida's thoughts on either side of the steep road, but le corse had run shrieking farther down the mountain, and was not at home in its own high house. We were less cold than we had been; and when presently the worst of the zigzags were past and a great black tunnel-mouth in sight to show we'd reached the col, the sun was almost warm. A few moments more, and (on our second best speed, with all five on board) we had shot into that great black mouth.
By and by, even though we were still climbing, we reached the snow level. Snow lay white on either side of the steep road, just like Maida's thoughts, but le corse had raced down the mountain, far away from its own high house. We weren’t as cold as before; and when we had passed the worst of the zigzags and spotted a large black tunnel entrance indicating we had reached the col, the sun felt almost warm. A few moments later, moving at our second-best speed with all five of us on board, we shot into that big black mouth.
I always thought that we had the longest and biggest of everything in our country, but I never heard of a tunnel like this in America.
I always thought we had the longest and biggest of everything in our country, but I had never heard of a tunnel like this in America.
It was the queerest thing to look into I ever saw.
It was the strangest thing I ever saw.
[Pg 122] The lamps of our automobile which Mr. Barrymore had stopped to light before plunging in, showed us a long, long, straight passage cut through the mountain, with an oval roof arched like an egg. Except for a few yards ahead, where the way was lit up and the arch of close-set stones glimmered grey, the blackness would have been unbroken had it not been for the tunnel-lights. They went on and on in a sparkling line as far as our eyes could reach; and if the most famous whale in the world had had a spine made of diamonds, Jonah would have got much the same effect that we did as he wandered about in the dark trying to get his bearings.
[Pg 122] The headlights of our car, which Mr. Barrymore had stopped to turn on before driving in, revealed a long, straight passage carved through the mountain, with an oval ceiling arched like an egg. Aside from a few yards ahead, where the path was illuminated and the tightly spaced stone arch shimmered gray, the darkness would have been complete if it weren't for the tunnel lights. They stretched on in a sparkling line as far as we could see; and if the most famous whale in the world had a spine made of diamonds, Jonah would have experienced something similar to what we did as he wandered around in the dark trying to get his bearings.
It was only the most distant electric lamps that looked as if they were diamonds stuck close together along the roof. The near ones were balls of light under swaying umbrellas of ink-black shadow; and sometimes we would flash past great sharp stalactites, which were, as Maida said, like Titanesses' hatpins stuck through from the top of the mountain.
It was only the faraway electric lamps that looked like diamonds clustered together along the roof. The ones up close appeared as glowing orbs beneath swaying shadows as dark as ink; and sometimes we would zoom past large, jagged stalactites, which, as Maida said, resembled huge hatpins stuck through from the peak of the mountain.
At first the tunnel road was inches thick with white dust; then, much to our surprise, we ran into a track of greasy mud which made our car waltz as it had in the Roya valley close to the precipice.
At first, the tunnel road was covered in a thick layer of white dust; then, to our surprise, we hit a patch of slippery mud that made our car sway just like it did in the Roya valley near the edge of the cliff.
"It's the water filtering in through the holes your Titanesses' hatpins have made in their big pincushion," explained Mr. Barrymore, who had heard Maida make that remark. And the hateful creatures had so honeycombed the whole mountain over our heads, that Mamma and I put up umbrellas to save ourselves from being drenched.
"It's the water leaking in through the holes your Titanesses' hatpins have created in their big pincushion," explained Mr. Barrymore, who had overheard Maida say that. And the annoying creatures had so thoroughly riddled the entire mountain above us that Mom and I put up umbrellas to keep ourselves from getting soaked.
"What a place this would be for an accident! Or—suppose we met something that objected to us!" Mamma shrieked, her voice all but drowned by the reverberation made by our motor in the hollow vault.
"What a place this would be for an accident! Or—what if we ran into something that didn't like us!" Mom yelled, her voice nearly lost in the echo of our engine in the empty space.
With that, as if her words had "conjured it from the vasty deep"—to use a quotation of Sir Ralph's—something appeared, and it did object to us very much.
With that, as if her words had "conjured it from the vasty deep"—to use a quote from Sir Ralph—something showed up, and it really didn't like us.
It was a horse, and it gleamed like silver as our front lamp [Pg 123] pointed it out to our startled eyes with a long, bright finger of light.
It was a horse, and it shone like silver as our front lamp [Pg 123] illuminated it for our shocked eyes with a long, bright beam of light.
He was coming towards us, down the narrow, arched passage, walking on his hind legs, with some one in a cart behind him, standing up and hitting him on the head with a whip.
He was walking towards us down the narrow, arched passage on his hind legs, with someone in a cart behind him, standing up and hitting him on the head with a whip.
We were not really going very fast on account of the splashy mud; but what with the roaring echo of the motor, the dripping of water, the narrowness of the tunnel, the yapping of our little dog, the shouts of the man in the cart, and the strangeness of the picture ahead—just like a lighted disc on the screen of a magic lantern—it did seem as if everybody concerned must come to awful grief in about three seconds.
We weren’t actually going very fast because of the muddy splashes, but with the loud roar of the engine, the water dripping, the tunnel being so narrow, our little dog barking, the cart driver shouting, and the bizarre scene in front of us—looking just like a glowing circle on a magic lantern screen—it really felt like everyone involved would be in serious trouble any second now.
I don't know whether I screamed or not; though I know Mamma did; a deaf man would have known that. But the first thing I was really sure of was that Mr. Barrymore had not only stopped the car but the motor, had jumped down, and gone to the horse's head.
I’m not sure if I screamed or not, but I know Mom did; even a deaf person would have heard that. The first thing I was definitely sure about was that Mr. Barrymore had not only stopped the car and the engine but had jumped down and gone to the horse's head.
He said something quickly to the driver, which I couldn't understand, because it was in Italian; but the man didn't yell or whip the horse any more. Mr. Barrymore patted the poor beast, and talked to him, until he seemed tired of dancing about as if he were popcorn over a hot fire. Then, when he had quieted down, and remembered that his forefeet were given him to walk with and not to paw the air, Mr. Barrymore led him gently up to our automobile, patting his neck all the time. He snorted and quivered for a minute, then smelt of what Mr. Barrymore calls the "bonnet," with the funniest expression of disgust and curiosity.
He quickly said something to the driver that I couldn't understand because it was in Italian. But the man didn't shout or whip the horse anymore. Mr. Barrymore patted the poor animal and talked to him until he seemed tired of jumping around like popcorn over a hot fire. Then, once he calmed down and realized that his forefeet were meant for walking and not pawing the air, Mr. Barrymore gently led him to our car, still patting his neck the whole time. The horse snorted and trembled for a moment, then sniffed at what Mr. Barrymore calls the "bonnet," wearing a funny expression of disgust and curiosity.
I imagined the horse was thinking, "This is a very nasty thing, but it seems to belong to the nicest, kindest man I ever met, so perhaps it isn't as bad after all as I thought at first."
I thought the horse was thinking, "This is a really unpleasant thing, but it seems to belong to the nicest, kindest guy I've ever met, so maybe it isn't as bad as I first thought."
The driver's scowl turned to a smile, as he eventually drove by, we waiting till he had got safely past.
The driver's frown turned into a smile as he finally drove by, and we waited until he was safely past.
"I think that was real nice of you, Mr. Barrymore," said Mamma, as we went teuf-teufing on again.
"I think that was really nice of you, Mr. Barrymore," said Mom, as we continued on our way.
She is always a little uneasy with him, because, though he's a friend of Sir Ralph Moray's, he's only a chauffeur, and she isn't [Pg 124] quite sure whether she oughtn't to patronize him a little to keep up her dignity as a Countess. But it was a good sign that she should remember his name for once. As for me, I've given him one for use behind his back, which is to make up for his lack of a title, express his gorgeousness and define his profession all at the same time. It is "Chauffeulier," and I rather pride myself on it.
She always feels a bit uneasy around him because, even though he's a friend of Sir Ralph Moray's, he's just a chauffeur. She's not entirely sure if she should look down on him a bit to maintain her dignity as a Countess. But it is a good sign that she actually remembered his name this time. As for me, I've come up with a name for him to use behind his back that makes up for his lack of a title, highlights his charm, and defines his job all at once. It's "Chauffeulier," and I'm kind of proud of it.
"It was only decent," he answered Mamma. "I love horses, and I've enough imagination to guess pretty well how one feels when he's called upon to face some unknown horror, with no sympathy from behind. It would have been sheer brutality not to stop motor and all for that poor white chap. He won't be as bad next time; and perhaps his master will have learned a little common sense too. All the same, that kind of adventure spells delay, and I hope this tunnel isn't infested with timid horses. Luckily, the line seems all clear ahead."
"It was okay," he replied to Mom. "I love horses, and I can imagine pretty well what it's like to face some unknown fear without any support. It would have been really cruel not to stop the car for that poor guy. He probably won’t be as scared next time; maybe his owner will have picked up a bit of common sense too. Still, that kind of situation means we’ll be delayed, and I hope this tunnel isn’t filled with nervous horses. Fortunately, the track looks clear up ahead."
A few minutes more, and looking before and after, we could see far away two little oval pearls of daylight, one straight ahead, one straight behind. It was like having one's foresight as good as one's hindsight; which in real life, outside tunnels, would save a lot of disasters. Mr. Barrymore explained that we'd reached the apex of two slopes, and now we would be descending gradually.
A few more minutes, and looking both ways, we could see two small oval spots of light in the distance, one in front and one behind. It felt like having the ability to see the future as clearly as the past, which in real life, outside tunnels, could prevent a lot of mishaps. Mr. Barrymore explained that we had reached the highest point of two slopes, and now we would be gradually going down.
It gave us a shock to burst out into the sunlight again by-and-by, but it was a glorious shock, with a thrill as the dazzling white mountains seemed to leap at our eyes.
It was a shock to step back into the sunlight again after a while, but it was an incredible shock, giving us a thrill as the bright white mountains seemed to jump into our view.
If you speak of zigzags going up hill, oughtn't you to call them zagzigs going down? Anyway, there they were, hundreds of them apparently, looking something as a huge corkscrew might look if it had been laid on a railroad track for a train to flatten.
If you're talking about zigzags going uphill, shouldn't you call them zagzigs going downhill? Anyway, there they were, apparently hundreds of them, looking a bit like a giant corkscrew that had been placed on a railroad track for a train to flatten.
We began to fly down, faster and faster, the motor making no noise at all. At each turn of the corkscrew it seemed to me as if we must leap over into space, and I felt as if I had been struck by lightning; but always our chauffeur steered so as to give plenty of margin between our tyres and the edge of the precipice; [Pg 125] and by-and-by I was thoroughly charged with electricity so that I ceased to be actually afraid. All I felt was that my soul was covered with a very thin, sensitive skin.
We started to fly down, faster and faster, the engine completely silent. With every twist of the corkscrew, it felt like we were about to launch into space, and I felt like I had been hit by lightning; but our driver always managed to keep a safe distance between our tires and the edge of the cliff; [Pg 125] and eventually I was so charged with energy that I stopped feeling truly afraid. All I felt was that my soul had a very thin, sensitive covering.
"Oh, Mr. Terrymore, for mercy's sake, for heaven's sake...!" wailed Mamma. "I don't feel able to die to-day."
"Oh, Mr. Terrymore, for mercy's sake, for heaven's sake...!" cried Mamma. "I don't feel able to die today."
"You shan't, if I can help it," answered Mr. Barrymore, without looking round; but as he never wears goggles, I could see his face plainly from my place by his side, and I thought it had rather an odd, stern expression. I wondered whether he were cross with Mamma for seeming to doubt his skill, or whether something else was the matter. But instead of fading away, the expression seemed to harden. He looked just as I should think a man might look if he were going to fight in a battle. I awfully wanted to ask if anything were wrong, but something mysterious—a kind of atmosphere around him, like a barrier I could feel but not see—wouldn't let me.
"You won't, if I can help it," Mr. Barrymore replied without turning around; but since he never wears goggles, I could see his face clearly from my spot beside him, and I thought it had a rather strange, stern look. I wondered if he was mad at Mom for seeming to doubt his skills, or if something else was bothering him. But instead of softening, his expression seemed to toughen. He looked just like I imagined a person would look if they were about to go into battle. I really wanted to ask if something was wrong, but there was something mysterious—like an atmosphere around him, a barrier I could feel but not see—that kept me from doing so.
"I believe the thing is broken, somehow," I said to myself; and the thought was so awful, when I stared down at all those separate layers of precipice which we would have to risk before we reached human-level (if we ever reached it) that my heart pounded like a hammer in my side. It was a terrible sensation, yet I revelled in it with a kind of desperate joy; for everything depended on the eye, and nerve, and hand of this one man whom it was so thrilling to trust.
"I think this thing is broken in some way," I said to myself; and the thought was so awful, as I looked down at all those separate layers of cliffs we would have to navigate before we got to solid ground (if we ever did) that my heart pounded like a hammer in my side. It was a terrifying feeling, but I found a sort of desperate joy in it; everything hinged on the eye, nerve, and hand of this one man whom it was so exciting to trust.
Each time we twisted round a corkscrew I gave a sigh of relief; for it was one less peril to pass on the way to safety.
Each time we turned around a corkscrew, I breathed a sigh of relief; it was one less danger to get through on the way to safety.
"Do just stop for a moment and let us breathe," cried Mamma; and my suspicions were confirmed by Mr. Barrymore's answer, thrown over his shoulder. "It's best not, Countess," he said. "I'll explain afterwards."
"Just pause for a moment and let us take a breath," cried Mamma; and my suspicions were confirmed by Mr. Barrymore's response, thrown over his shoulder. "It's better not to, Countess," he said. "I'll explain later."
Mamma is always ecstatic for an instant after any one has addressed her as "Countess," so she didn't insist, and only murmured to herself, "Oh, why did I leave my peaceful home?" in a minor wail which showed me that she wasn't really half as anxious [Pg 126] as I was. But if she could have seen Mr. Barrymore's profile, and had the inspiration to read it as I did, she would probably have jumped out of the automobile in full flight. Whereupon, though she might have gained a crown to wear upon her forehead, all those on her brushes and powder-pots, and satchels and trunks, would have been wasted. Poor little Mamma!
Mamma always gets really excited for a moment whenever someone calls her "Countess," so she didn't push it and just whispered to herself, "Oh, why did I leave my peaceful home?" in a soft, sad tone that made it clear she wasn't nearly as worried as I was. But if she had seen Mr. Barrymore's profile and had the insight to read it like I did, she probably would have jumped out of the car in a hurry. Even though she might have gotten a crown to wear on her head, all her brushes, powder, bags, and trunks would have gone to waste. Poor little Mamma!
We plunged down below the snow-line; we saw far beneath us a wide, green valley, where other people, the size of flies, were safe if not happy. We passed some barracks, where a lot of sturdy little mountain soldiers stopped bowling balls in a dull, stony square to watch us fly by. We frightened some mules; we almost made a horse faint away; but the Chauffeulier showed no desire to stop and let them admire our "bonnet" at close quarters.
We dropped down past the snow line and saw a broad, green valley far below, where people, tiny like flies, were safe if not happy. We went by some barracks, where a bunch of tough little mountain soldiers paused from bowling balls in a dull, rocky square to watch us zoom past. We startled a few mules; we almost made a horse faint; but the driver showed no interest in stopping to let them check out our "bonnet" up close.
The excitement of the drive, and my conviction that Mr. Barrymore was silently fighting some unseen danger for us all, filled me with a kind of intoxication. I could have screamed; but if I had, it wouldn't have been with cowardly fear. Partly, perhaps, the strange exhilaration came from the beauty of the world on which we were descending almost as if we were falling from the sky. I felt that I could have lovely thoughts about it—almost as poetical as Maida's—if only I had had time; but as it was, the ideas jostled each other in my mind like a crowd of people rushing to catch a train.
The thrill of the drive, along with my belief that Mr. Barrymore was quietly battling some hidden threat for all of us, filled me with an almost intoxicating energy. I felt like I could scream, but it wouldn't have been out of fear. Maybe part of the excitement came from the stunning beauty of the world we were descending into, almost like we were falling from the sky. I thought if I had more time, I could come up with beautiful ideas about it—almost as poetic as Maida's—but instead, my thoughts were bumping around in my head like a crowd rushing to catch a train.
From behind, I could hear Maida's voice from moment to moment, as she talked to Mamma or Sir Ralph, innocently unsuspicious of any hidden danger.
From behind, I could hear Maida's voice every now and then as she chatted with Mom or Sir Ralph, completely unaware of any hidden danger.
"Isn't it all wonderful?" she was saying. "Day before yesterday we left riotous, tumultuous summer on the Riviera; found autumn in the Roya valley, chill and grim, though so magnificent; and came into winter snows this morning. Now we've dropped down into spring. It's like a fairy story I read once, about a girl whose cruel stepmother drove her from home penniless, and sent her into the mountains at dead of night, telling her never to come back unless she could bring an apronful of strawberries for her stepsister. The poor girl wandered on and on in [Pg 127] the dark in a terrible storm, until at last she strayed to a wild mountain-top, where the twelve Months lived. Some were old men, wrapped in long cloaks; some were young and ardent; some were laughing boys. With a stroke of his staff, each Month could make what he would with the weather. Father January had but to wave his stick to cause the snow to fall; May, in pity for the girl's tears, created a rose garden, while his brother's snow-wreaths were melting; but it was June who finally understood what she wanted, and gave her a bed of fragrant strawberries. I feel as if we had wandered to the house of the Months, and they were waving their staffs to create miracles for us."
"Isn't it all wonderful?" she was saying. "Two days ago, we left the wild, chaotic summer on the Riviera; found autumn in the Roya valley, cold and gloomy, yet so beautiful; and arrived in the winter snows this morning. Now we've dropped down into spring. It’s like a fairy tale I once read about a girl whose cruel stepmother drove her from home with nothing, sending her into the mountains at midnight, telling her never to return unless she could bring back an apron full of strawberries for her stepsister. The poor girl wandered on and on in the dark during a terrible storm, until she finally stumbled upon a wild mountaintop, where the twelve Months lived. Some were old men wrapped in long cloaks; some were young and passionate; some were laughing boys. With a wave of his staff, each Month could control the weather. Father January only had to wave his stick to make the snow fall; May, feeling sorry for the girl’s tears, created a rose garden while his brother's snow-wreaths melted away; but it was June who truly understood what she wanted and gave her a bed of fragrant strawberries. I feel as if we have wandered into the house of the Months, and they are waving their staffs to create miracles for us."
"It will be a miracle if we ever get out of the house of the Months and into one of our own," I said to myself, almost spitefully, for the talk in the tonneau did seem frivolous when I glanced up furtively at that tight-set mouth of Mr. Barrymore's. And after that, to look down from a frame of snow mountains through a pinky-white haze of plum, cherry, and pear blossoms to delicate green meadows sparkling with a thick gold-dust of dandelions, was for me like going out to be tried for my life in a frock made by a fairy.
"It'll be a miracle if we ever get out of the house of the Months and into one of our own," I said to myself, almost out of spite, because the chatter in the backseat felt so trivial when I glanced up at Mr. Barrymore's tight-lipped expression. And then, looking down from a backdrop of snow-capped mountains through a soft pink-white haze of plum, cherry, and pear blossoms to the delicate green meadows sparkled with a thick layer of dandelions, felt like stepping out to face a life-or-death trial in a dress made by a fairy.
I hardly breathed until the corkscrew uncurled itself at last and turned into an ordinary downhill road. Our car slackened speed, and finally, as we came upon the first long, level stretch, to my astonishment moved slower and more slowly until it [Pg 128] stopped dead.
I barely breathed until the corkscrew finally straightened out and became a regular downhill road. Our car slowed down, and eventually, as we reached the first long, flat stretch, to my surprise, it moved slower and slower until it [Pg 128] came to a complete stop.
XI
A CHAPTER OF BRAKES AND WORMS
Mamma laughed one of those coquettish, twenty-five-year-old laughs that go with her auburn hair and her crowns.
Mamma laughed one of those playful, twenty-five-year-old laughs that match her auburn hair and her crowns.
"Well, have you decided to give us a chance to breathe, after all?" she asked. "I should say it was about time."
"Well, have you decided to let us breathe for a change?" she asked. "I should say it was about time."
"I'm afraid you'll breathe maledictions when you hear what is the matter," said our Chauffeulier.
"I'm afraid you'll curse when you hear what's going on," said our driver.
"Good gracious! what's happened?" exclaimed Mamma. "If the thing's going to explode, do let us get out and run."
"Good grief! What just happened?" exclaimed Mom. "If it's going to blow up, let's get out and run."
"So far from exploding, she's likely to be silent for some time," Mr. Barrymore went on, jumping down and going to the automobile's head. "I'm awfully sorry. After the delays we've suffered, you won't think motoring is all it's painted, when I tell you that we're in for another."
"So instead of exploding, she’ll probably stay quiet for a while,” Mr. Barrymore continued, jumping down and heading to the front of the car. “I'm really sorry. After all the delays we've had, you won’t believe how frustrating driving can be when I tell you we’re in for another one."
"Why, what is it this time?" Mamma asked
"Why, what's going on this time?" Mom asked.
"I'm not quite sure yet," said Mr. Barrymore, "but the chains are wrong for one thing, and I'm inclined to think there's some deep-seated trouble. I shall soon find out, but whatever it is, I hope you won't blame the car too much. She's a trump, really; but she had a big strain put upon her endurance yesterday and this morning. Dragging another car twice her size for thirty miles or more up a mountain pass isn't a joke for a twelve horse-power car."
"I'm not sure yet," said Mr. Barrymore, "but the chains are definitely off, and I have a feeling there’s some serious trouble. I’ll figure it out soon, but whatever it is, please don’t blame the car too much. It’s really a great vehicle; but it was pushed to its limits yesterday and this morning. Towing another car that’s twice its size for over thirty miles up a mountain pass is no small feat for a twelve-horsepower car."
Any one would think the automobile was his instead of Sir [Pg 129] Ralph's by the pride he takes in it. Sir Ralph doesn't seem to care half as much; but then I don't believe he's a born sports-man like his friend. You can be a motor-car owner if you've got money enough; but I guess you have to be born a motor-car man.
Anyone would think the car was his instead of Sir Ralph's, judging by how proud he is of it. Sir Ralph doesn’t seem to care as much; but I doubt he’s the natural sportsman that his friend is. You can own a car if you have enough money, but I guess you have to be a natural car enthusiast.
"Well, this isn't exactly an ideal place for an accident," remarked Mamma, "as it seems to be miles from anywhere; but we ought to be thankful to Providence for not letting the break come up there on that awful mountain."
"Well, this isn't really the best place for an accident," Mamma said, "since it feels like we're miles from anywhere; but we should be grateful to fate for not having the break happen up on that terrible mountain."
I saw a faint twinkle in Mr. Barrymore's eyes and a twitch of his lips, as he bent down over the machinery without answering a word, and I couldn't resist the temptation of letting him see that I was in his secret. There couldn't be any harm in it's coming out now.
I noticed a slight sparkle in Mr. Barrymore's eyes and a flicker of his lips as he leaned over the machinery without saying anything, and I couldn't help but let him know that I was aware of his secret. It wouldn't hurt for him to know now.
"Thankful to Mr. Barrymore for bringing us safely down the 'awful mountain' when the break had come at the top," I corrected Mamma, with my chin in the air.
"Thanks to Mr. Barrymore for getting us down the 'awful mountain' safely when the break had happened at the top," I corrected Mamma, with my chin held high.
"Good Heavens, Beechy, what do you mean?" she gasped, while our Chauffeulier flashed me a quick look of surprise.
"Goodness, Beechy, what do you mean?" she gasped, while our driver shot me a quick look of surprise.
"Oh, only that the accident, whatever it was, happened soon after we came out of the tunnel, and if Mr. Barrymore'd stopped when you wanted him to, he couldn't have started again, for we were just running downhill with our own weight; and I knew it all the time," I explained airily.
"Oh, the accident, whatever it was, happened just after we came out of the tunnel, and if Mr. Barrymore had stopped when you wanted him to, he couldn't have started again because we were just rolling downhill with our own weight; and I knew that the whole time," I explained casually.
"You're joking, Beechy, and I think it's horrid of you," said Mamma, looking as if she were going to cry.
"You're kidding, Beechy, and I think it's terrible of you," said Mamma, looking like she was about to cry.
"Am I joking, Mr. Barrymore?" I asked, turning to him.
"Am I joking, Mr. Barrymore?" I asked, turning to him.
"I had no idea that you guessed, and I don't see now how you did; but it's true that the accident happened up there," he admitted, and he looked so grave that I began to feel guilty for telling.
"I had no idea you figured it out, and I still can't see how you did; but it's true that the accident happened up there," he admitted, and he looked so serious that I started to feel guilty for saying anything.
"Then it was only by a merciful dispensation that we weren't hurled over the precipice and dashed to pieces," exclaimed Mamma.
"Then it was only by a lucky break that we weren't thrown off the cliff and smashed to bits," exclaimed Mom.
"That depends on one's definition of a merciful dispensation," [Pg 130] said Mr. Barrymore. "From one point of view every breath we draw is a merciful dispensation, for we might easily choke to death at any instant. We were never for a single moment in danger. If I hadn't been sure of that, of course I would have stopped the car at any cost. As a matter of fact, when we began the descent I found that the hand-brake wouldn't act, and knew the chains had gone wrong. If I'd thought it was only that I could have put on our spare chains, but I believed there was more and worse, so I determined to get on as far towards civilization as I could before stopping the car."
"That depends on how you define a merciful break," [Pg 130] said Mr. Barrymore. "From one perspective, every breath we take is a merciful break, since we could easily choke to death at any moment. We were never in real danger. If I hadn't been sure of that, I would have stopped the car no matter what. Actually, when we started going down, I found that the handbrake didn’t work, and I realized the chains were messed up. If I had thought it was just that, I could have put on our spare chains, but I believed there was something more serious going on, so I decided to drive as far toward civilization as I could before stopping the car."
"You brought us down those ghastly hills without a brake!" Mamma cried out, losing her temper. "And Sir Ralph called you careful! I can never trust you again."
"You took us down those awful hills without a brake!" Mamma shouted, losing her cool. "And Sir Ralph called you careful! I can’t trust you anymore."
I could have slapped her and myself too.
I could have slapped both her and myself.
"Aunt Kathryn!" exclaimed Maida. Then I could have slapped her as well for interfering. It would serve her right if I married her off to the Prince.
"Aunt Kathryn!" Maida exclaimed. I could have slapped her for interfering. It would be fitting if I married her off to the Prince.
The Chauffeulier looked for a second as if he were going to say "Very well, madam; do as you like about that." But Maida's little reproachful exclamation apparently poured balm upon his troubled soul.
The Chauffeulier looked for a moment like he was going to say, "Fine, miss; do what you want with that." But Maida's small, reproachful comment seemed to soothe his troubled spirit.
"Not without a brake," he answered, with great patience and politeness, "but with one instead of two. If the foot-brake had burned, as possibly it might, the compression of the gas in the cylinder could have been made to act as a brake. The steering-gear was in perfect order, which was the most important consideration in the circumstances, and I felt that I was undertaking a responsibility which the car and I together were well able to carry out. But as I thought that amateurs were likely to be alarmed if they knew what had happened, I naturally kept my knowledge to myself."
"Not without a brake," he replied, very patiently and politely, "but it has one instead of two. If the foot brake had burned out, which is possible, the gas compression in the cylinder could have served as a brake. The steering system was in perfect condition, which is the most important thing in this situation, and I felt confident that both the car and I could handle the responsibility together. However, since I thought that inexperienced people might get scared if they knew what had happened, I decided to keep this information to myself."
"I saw that something was wrong by the set expression of your face," said I, "and I wasn't a bit afraid, because I felt, whatever it was, you'd bring us through all right. But I'm sorry I spoke now."
"I could tell something was off by the look on your face," I said, "and I wasn't scared at all because I knew you'd get us through it somehow. But now I regret saying anything."
[Pg 131] "You needn't be," said he. "I shouldn't have done so myself yet I wasn't silent for my own sake; and I should do the same if it had to be done over again."
[Pg 131] "You don't have to be," he said. "I wouldn't have either, but I wasn't quiet for my own benefit; I'd do it the same way if I had to do it all over again."
But this didn't comfort me much, for I was sure that Maida wouldn't have spoken if she had been in my place. I don't know why I was sure, but I was.
But this didn't make me feel better, because I was certain that Maida wouldn't have said anything if she were in my situation. I don't know why I felt so sure, but I did.
"Whatever Barrymore does in connection with a motor-car, is always right, Countess," said Sir Ralph, "though in other walks of life I wouldn't vouch for him."
"Whatever Barrymore does with a car is always right, Countess," said Sir Ralph, "but in other areas of life, I wouldn't guarantee him."
His funny way of saying this made us all laugh and Mamma picked up the good temper which she had lost in her first fright. She began to apologize, but Mr. Barrymore wouldn't let her; and the storm was soon forgotten in the interest with which we hung upon the Chauffeulier's explorations.
His humorous way of saying this made us all laugh, and Mom regained the good mood she had lost during her initial fright. She started to apologize, but Mr. Barrymore wouldn’t allow her to; and the storm was soon forgotten as we eagerly listened to the Chauffeulier's adventures.
He peered into the mysterious inner workings of the machine, tapped some things, thumped others, and announced that one of the "cones of the countershaft" was broken
He looked into the mysterious inner workings of the machine, tapped on a few parts, thumped others, and declared that one of the "cones of the countershaft" was broken.
"There's no doubt that the undue strain yesterday and this morning weakened it," he said, coming up from the depths with a green smear on his noble brow. "What we've really to be thankful for is that it waited to snap until we'd got up all the hills. Now, though as the Countess says we seem to be miles from anywhere, we're actually within close touch of civilization. Unless I'm out in my calculations, we must be near a place called Limone, where, if there isn't much else, at least there's a station on the new railway line. All we've got to do is to find something to tow us, as we towed Dalmar-Kalm (a mere mule will answer as well as a motor) to that station, where we can put the car on the train and be at Cuneo in no time. The guide-books say that Cuneo's interesting, and anyhow there are hotels of sorts there—also machine tools, a forge, a lathe, and things of that kind which we can't carry about with us."
"There's no doubt that the extra stress from yesterday and this morning weakened it," he said, emerging from the depths with a green stain on his forehead. "What we should really be grateful for is that it didn't break until we got over all the hills. Now, even though the Countess says we seem miles from anywhere, we're actually quite close to civilization. Unless I’ve miscalculated, we should be near a place called Limone, where, if there's not much else, at least there's a station on the new railway line. All we need to do is find something to tow us, as we towed Dalmar-Kalm (a simple mule will work just as well as a motor) to that station, where we can load the car onto the train and be in Cuneo in no time. The guidebooks say Cuneo is interesting, and anyway, there are some hotels there—plus machine tools, a forge, a lathe, and similar items that we can't carry around with us."
"What a splendid adventure!" exclaimed Maida. "I love it; don't you, Beechy?"
"What an amazing adventure!" Maida exclaimed. "I love it; don't you, Beechy?"
I answered that I entertained a wild passion for it; but all the [Pg 132] same, I wished I'd mentioned it first.
I replied that I had a crazy passion for it; still, I wished I had brought it up first.
This settled Mamma's attitude towards the situation. She saw that it was young to enter into the spirit of the adventure, so she took the cue from us and flung herself in with enthusiasm enough to make up for her crossness.
This clarified Mom's attitude towards the situation. She realized it was youthful to embrace the spirit of the adventure, so she took our lead and dove in with enough enthusiasm to compensate for her earlier irritability.
"Somebody must go on an exploring expedition for a mule," said Mr. Barrymore, "and as I'm the only one whose Italian is fairly fluent, I suppose I must be the somebody. Miss Destrey, would you care to go with me for the sake of a little exercise?"
"Someone needs to go on a scouting trip for a mule," said Mr. Barrymore, "and since I'm the only one with decent Italian, I guess that someone has to be me. Miss Destrey, would you like to join me for some exercise?"
In another minute I would have volunteered, but even thirteen-year-olds have too much pride to be the third that makes a crowd. Gooseberry jam is the only jam I don't like; so I kept still and let them go off together, chaperoned by the little black dog. Sir Ralph stood by the automobile talking to Mamma while I wandered aimlessly about, though I could tell by the corner of his eye that she didn't occupy his whole attention.
In another minute, I would have offered to join them, but even thirteen-year-olds have too much pride to be the third wheel. Gooseberry jam is the only jam I dislike, so I stayed quiet and let them head off together, accompanied by the little black dog. Sir Ralph leaned against the car, chatting with Mom while I wandered around aimlessly, though I could tell from the corner of his eye that she didn't have his full attention.
Just to see what would happen, I suddenly squatted down by the side of the road, about twenty yards away, and began to dig furiously with the point of my parasol. I hadn't been at work for three minutes when I was rewarded. "The Countess has sent me to ask what you are doing, Miss Beechy," announced a nice voice; and there was Sir Ralph peering over my shoulder.
Just to see what would happen, I suddenly squatted down by the side of the road, about twenty yards away, and started digging furiously with the tip of my parasol. I hadn’t been at it for three minutes when I got a response. "The Countess sent me to ask what you're doing, Miss Beechy," a pleasant voice announced, and there was Sir Ralph looking over my shoulder.
"I'm looking for one of my poor relations," said I. "A worm. She's sent up word that she isn't in. But I don't believe it."
"I'm looking for one of my less fortunate relatives," I said. "A real piece of work. She's sent word that she isn't home. But I don't buy it."
"I'm glad my rich relations aren't as prying as you are," said he. "I often send that message when it would be exceedingly inconvenient to have further inquiries pressed. Not to rich relations, though, for the very good reason that they don't bother about me or other poor worms, who have not my Félicité to defend them."
"I'm glad my wealthy relatives aren't as nosy as you are," he said. "I often send that message when it's really inconvenient to deal with more questions. Not to wealthy relatives, though, because they don't care about me or other struggling folks who don't have my Félicité to protect them."
"Who's Félicité?" I asked, not sorry to keep Sir Ralph for my own sake or that of Mamma—who was probably taking advantage of his absence to put powder on her nose and pink stuff on her lips, by the aid of her chatelaine mirror.
"Who's Félicité?" I asked, not feeling guilty about keeping Sir Ralph to myself or for Mamma—who was probably using his absence to put powder on her nose and pink on her lips with the help of her chatelaine mirror.
[Pg 133] "Who's Félicité? You might as well ask who is the Queen of England. Félicité is my cook—my housekeeper—my guide, philosopher and friend; my all."
[Pg 133] "Who's Félicité? You might as well ask who the Queen of England is. Félicité is my cook—my housekeeper—my guide, philosopher, and friend; my everything."
"That dear, fat duck who brought us tea the day we were at your house?"
"That sweet, chubby duck who brought us tea the day we were at your place?"
"I have two ducks. But Félicité was the one who brought you the tea. The other eats mice and fights the cat. Félicité doesn't eat mice, and fights me."
"I have two ducks. But Félicité was the one who brought you the tea. The other one eats mice and fights the cat. Félicité doesn’t eat mice and fights me."
"I loved her."
"I loved her."
"So do I. And I could love you for loving her."
"So do I. And I could love you for loving her."
"Perhaps you'd better not."
"Maybe you shouldn't."
"Why? It's safe and allowable for men of my age to love little girls."
"Why? It's safe and acceptable for men my age to love young girls."
"I'm different from other little girls. You said so yourself. Besides what is your age?"
"I'm not like other little girls. You said that yourself. By the way, how old are you?"
"Twenty-nine."
"29."
"You look about nineteen. Our Chauffeulier looks older than you do."
"You look about nineteen. Our driver looks older than you."
"Chauffeulier? Oh, I see, that's your name for Terry. It's rather smart."
"Chauffeulier? Oh, I get it, that's what you call Terry. It's pretty clever."
"I call it a title, not a name," said I. "I thought he ought to have one, so I dubbed him that."
"I call it a title, not a name," I said. "I thought he should have one, so I gave him that."
"He ought to be complimented."
"He should be complimented."
"I mean him to be."
"I intend him to be."
"Come now, tell me what name you've invented for me, Miss
"Come on, tell me what name you've made up for me, Miss"
I shook my head. "You've got a ready-made title. But you look too boyish to live up to it. The Chauffeulier would come up to my idea of a baronet better than you do."
I shook my head. "You've got a built-in title. But you look too young to live up to it. The Chauffeulier fits my idea of a baronet better than you."
"Oh, you don't have to be dignified really to be a baronet, you know. Terry—er—you mustn't mention to him that I told you; but he may be something a good deal bigger than a baronet one day."
"Oh, you don’t really have to be dignified to be a baronet, you know. Terry—um—you shouldn’t mention to him that I told you this; but he could end up being something much bigger than a baronet one day."
"He's a good deal bigger than a baronet now," said I, laughing, and measuring Sir Ralph from head to foot. "But what may [Pg 134] he be one day?"
"He's a lot bigger than a baronet now," I said, laughing and looking Sir Ralph up and down. "But what could he be one day?"
"I mustn't say more. But if you're at all interested in him, that will be enough to fix your attention."
"I can't say more. But if you’re even slightly interested in him, that should be enough to grab your attention."
"What would be the good of fixing my attention on him, if that's what you mean," I inquired, "when he's got his attention fixed upon another?"
"What good would it do to focus on him, if that's what you're saying," I asked, "when he's already focused on someone else?"
"Oh, you mustn't judge by appearances," said Sir Ralph hastily. "He likes you awfully; though, of course, as you're so young, he can't show it as he would to an older girl."
"Oh, you shouldn’t judge by appearances," Sir Ralph said quickly. "He likes you a lot; though, of course, since you’re so young, he can’t show it the way he would to an older girl."
"I shall grow older," said I. "Even before we finish this trip I shall be a little older."
"I'll get older," I said. "By the time we finish this trip, I'll be a little older."
"Of course you will," Sir Ralph assured me soothingly. "By that time, Terry will, no doubt, have screwed up courage to show you how much he likes you."
"Of course you will," Sir Ralph assured me calmly. "By then, Terry will probably have built up the courage to show you how much he likes you."
"I shouldn't have thought he lacked courage," said I.
"I shouldn't have thought he was lacking in courage," I said.
"Only where girls are concerned," explained Sir Ralph.
"Only when it comes to girls," Sir Ralph explained.
"He seems brave enough with my cousin Maida. It's Mamma and me he doesn't say much to, unless we speak to him first."
"He seems pretty brave around my cousin Maida. It's my mom and me he doesn't talk to much, unless we say something to him first."
"You see he's horribly afraid of being thought a fortune-hunter. He's almost morbidly sensitive in that way."
"You know he's really afraid of being seen as a gold digger. He's almost obsessively sensitive about it."
"O-oh, I see," I echoed. "Is that the reason he's so stand-off with us—because he knows we're rich?"
"O-oh, I get it," I said. "Is that why he's so distant with us—because he knows we're wealthy?"
"Yes. Otherwise he'd be delightful, just as he is with Miss Destrey, with whom he doesn't have to think of such things."
"Yeah. Otherwise, he'd be great, just like he is with Miss Destrey, with whom he doesn't have to worry about stuff like that."
"You're fond of him, aren't you?" I asked, beginning again to dig for the worm; for Sir Ralph was squatting beside me now, watching the point of my parasol.
"You're really into him, aren't you?" I asked, starting to dig for the worm again; because Sir Ralph was squatting next to me now, watching the tip of my parasol.
"Rather!" he exclaimed. "He's the finest fellow on earth. I should like to see him as happy as he deserves to be."
"Absolutely!" he exclaimed. "He's the best guy around. I wish I could see him as happy as he truly deserves to be."
"But you don't want him to fall in love with Maida?"
"But you don't want him to fall in love with Maida?"
"That's the last thing I should choose for either of them. Though it's early to talk of such contingencies, isn't it, as they've known each other—we've all known each other—only a few days?"
"That's the last thing I should pick for either of them. Even though it's too soon to discuss such possibilities, right? They've only known each other—we've all known each other—for just a few days."
[Pg 135] "It only takes a few minutes for the most important things to happen, such as being born and dying. Why should falling in love take more? It wouldn't with me."
[Pg 135] "It only takes a few minutes for the most important things to happen, like being born and dying. Why should falling in love take longer? It wouldn’t for me."
"You're young to judge."
"You're too young to judge."
"Pooh, I've been in love several times. Now I come to think of it, I'm in love this moment—or almost. Why don't you want Mr. Barrymore to fall in love with my cousin?"
"Pooh, I've been in love several times. Now that I think about it, I'm in love right now—or almost. Why don't you want Mr. Barrymore to fall in love with my cousin?"
"It would be imprudent."
"That would be unwise."
"Perhaps you're falling in love with her yourself."
"Maybe you're falling in love with her too."
"I shouldn't wonder."
"I wouldn't be surprised."
"If you'll tell me whether you are or not, I'll tell you who it is I think I'm in love with."
"If you let me know if you are or not, I’ll tell you who I think I’m in love with."
"Well, I could be. Now for your secret."
"Well, I might be. Now for your secret."
"I give you leave to guess."
"I give you permission to guess."
"Really?"
"Seriously?"
"And truly."
"Seriously."
"Some one we've just been talking about?"
"Is it someone we've just been talking about?"
"'I could be.' Oh dear, I believe this worm is out after all."
"'I could be.' Oh no, I guess this worm is out after all."
"This is most interesting. I don't mean about the worm. Terry's in luck for once."
"This is really interesting. I don't mean about the worm. For once, Terry's lucky."
"But he thinks me a little girl."
"But he thinks I'm just a little girl."
"Little girls can be fascinating. Besides, I'll make it my business to remind him that little girls don't take long to grow up."
"Little girls can be intriguing. Plus, I'll make sure to remind him that little girls don't take long to become women."
"Will you really? But you won't let him know about this talk?"
"Are you serious? But you won't tell him about this conversation?"
"Sooner would I be torn in two by wild motor-cars. These confidences are sacred."
"Sooner would I be ripped apart by speeding cars. These secrets are sacred."
"I'll say nice things about you to Maida," I volunteered.
"I'll say nice things about you to Maida," I offered.
He stared for a minute, and then laughed. "I should tell you not to if I weren't certain that all the nice things in the world might be said on that subject with no more effect upon Miss Destrey than a shower of rain has on my duck's back. You must try and help me not to fall in love with her."
He stared for a minute and then laughed. "I should tell you not to, but I'm sure that all the compliments in the world would have no more impact on Miss Destrey than a rain shower does on a duck's back. You need to help me avoid falling in love with her."
"Why?" I asked.
"Why?" I asked.
[Pg 136] "Because, for one reason, she'd never fall in love with me; and for another, I couldn't in any event afford to love her, any more than can my friend Terry Barrymore."
[Pg 136] "Because, for one thing, she'd never fall in love with me; and for another, I couldn't afford to love her, just like my friend Terry Barrymore can't."
"Perhaps I'd better work her off on the Prince, and then you'd both be out of danger," said I.
"Maybe I should set her up with the Prince, and then you both would be safe," I said.
"It would at least save me anxiety about my friend, though I should doubtless suffer in the process," replied Sir Ralph.
"It would at least take away my worry about my friend, even though I would definitely be affected in the process," replied Sir Ralph.
"I'll comfort you whenever I have time," I assured him
"I'll be there for you whenever I can," I assured him.
"Do," he entreated. "It will be a real charity. And in the meantime, I shan't be idle. I shall be working for you."
"Please," he pleaded. "It would be a true act of kindness. And in the meantime, I won’t just sit around. I’ll be working for you."
"Thank you ever so much," said I. "I should be glad if you'd report progress from time to time."
"Thank you so much," I said. "I’d appreciate it if you could give me updates every now and then."
"I will," said he. "We'll keep each other up, won't we?"
"I will," he said. "We'll stay awake together, right?"
"Be-echy!" shrieked Mamma. "I've been screaming to you for the last twenty minutes. Come here at once and tell me what you're doing. It's sure to be something naughty."
"Be-echy!" yelled Mom. "I've been calling you for the last twenty minutes. Come here right now and tell me what you're up to. It’s definitely something mischievous."
So we both came. But the only part that we mentioned was the [Pg 137] worm.
So we both showed up. But the only thing we brought up was the [Pg 137] worm.
XII
A CHAPTER OF HORRORS
It is wonderful how well it passes time to have a secret understanding with anybody; that is, if you're a girl, and the other person a man. Mr. Barrymore and Maida seemed hardly to have gone before they were back again; which pleased me very much. In attendance was a man with a mule—a grinning man; a ragged and reluctant mule; which was still more reluctant when it found out what it was expected to do. However, after a fine display of diplomacy on our Chauffeulier's part, and force on that of the mule's owner, the animal was finally hitched to the automobile with strong rope.
It’s amazing how enjoyable it is to have a secret connection with someone; that is, if you’re a girl and the other person is a guy. Mr. Barrymore and Maida seemed to leave and come back in no time, which made me really happy. There was a guy with a mule—a smiling guy; a shabby and unwilling mule, which was even more unwilling when it realized what was expected of it. However, after some excellent negotiation from our driver and some forceful persuasion from the mule’s owner, the animal was eventually tied to the car with strong rope.
Mr. Barrymore had to sit in the driver's seat to steer, while the man led the mule, but we others decided to walk. Mamma's heels are not quite as high as her pride (when she's feeling pretty well), so she preferred to march on the road rather than endure the ignominy of being dragged into even the smallest of villages behind the meanest of beasts.
Mr. Barrymore had to take the driver's seat to steer while the man led the mule, but the rest of us decided to walk. Mom's heels aren't quite as high as her pride (when she’s feeling good), so she preferred to walk on the road instead of experiencing the embarrassment of being dragged into even the smallest villages behind the scruffiest of animals.
A train for Cuneo was due at Limone, it seemed, in an hour, and we could walk there in about half that time, Mr. Barrymore thought. He had made arrangements with the capo di stazione, as he called him, to have a truck in readiness. The automobile would be put on it, and the truck would be hitched to the train.
A train to Cuneo was scheduled to arrive at Limone in about an hour, and we could walk there in roughly half that time, according to Mr. Barrymore. He had made plans with the capo di stazione, as he referred to him, to have a truck ready. The car would be loaded onto it, and the truck would be attached to the train.
Maida and I were delighted with everything; and when Mamma grumbled a little, and said this sort of thing wasn't what she'd expected, we argued so powerfully that it was much more [Pg 138] fun getting what you did not expect, than what you did, that we brought her round to our point of view, and set her laughing with the rest of us.
Maida and I were thrilled with everything; and when Mom complained a bit, saying this wasn't what she had expected, we made such convincing arguments about how it was way more fun to get what you didn't expect than what you did, that we changed her mind and got her laughing along with us.
"After all, what does it matter, as long as we're all young together?" said she, at last; and then I knew that the poor dear was happy.
"After all, what does it matter, as long as we're all young together?" she finally said; and then I realized that the poor dear was happy.
Sir Ralph considered Limone an ordinary Italian village, but it seemed fascinating to us. The fruit stalls, under overhanging balconies, looked as if piled with splendid jewels; rubies, amethysts and pearls, globes of gold, and silver, and coral, as big as those that Aladdin found in the wonderful cave. Dark girls with starry eyes and clouds of hair stood gossipping in old, carved doorways, or peered curiously down at us from oddly shaped windows; and they were so handsome that we liked them even when they doubled up with laughter at our procession, and called their lovers and brothers to laugh too.
Sir Ralph thought Limone was just an ordinary Italian village, but we found it quite enchanting. The fruit stalls, located under overhanging balconies, looked like they were stacked with amazing jewels; rubies, amethysts, and pearls, along with globes of gold, silver, and coral, as big as those that Aladdin discovered in the magical cave. Dark-haired girls with starry eyes and voluminous locks stood chatting in old, intricately carved doorways, or they peeked down at us from oddly shaped windows; they were so beautiful that we admired them even when they burst into laughter at our parade, calling their boyfriends and brothers to join in the fun.
Men and women ran out from dark recesses where they sold things, and from two-foot-wide alleys which the sun could never have even seen, staring at us, and saying "molta bella" as Maida passed. She really was very effective against the rich-coloured background—like a beautiful white bird that had strayed into the narrow village streets, with sunshine on its wings. But she didn't seem to realize that she was being looked at in a different way from the rest of us. "I suppose we're as great curiosities to them, as they are to us," she said, lingering to gaze at the gorgeous fruit, or some quaint Catholic emblems for sale in dingy windows, until Sir Ralph had to hurry her along lest we should miss the train.
Men and women rushed out from dark corners where they sold things and from two-foot-wide alleys that the sun could hardly reach, staring at us and saying "molta bella" as Maida walked by. She really stood out against the rich background—like a lovely white bird that had wandered into the narrow village streets, with sunlight on its wings. But she didn’t seem to notice that people were looking at her differently than at the rest of us. "I guess we're as much of a curiosity to them as they are to us," she said, pausing to admire the beautiful fruit or some unique Catholic items for sale in shabby windows, until Sir Ralph had to hurry her along so we wouldn’t miss the train.
We were in plenty of time, though; and at the railroad depôt (according to me), or the railway station (according to Sir Ralph and our Chauffeulier), the automobile had been got onto the truck before the train was signalled. Our tickets had been bought by Mr. Barrymore, who would pay for them all, as he said it was "his funeral," and we stood in a row on the platform, waiting, when the train boomed in.
We had plenty of time, though, and at the railroad depot (as I called it), or the train station (as Sir Ralph and our driver referred to it), the car had been loaded onto the truck before the train was announced. Mr. Barrymore bought our tickets, saying he would cover everything since it was “his funeral,” and we stood in a line on the platform, waiting, when the train rolled in.
[Pg 139] As it slowed down, car after car passing us, Mamma gave a little scream and pointed. "Look, there's another automobile on a truck!" said she. "My goodness, if it isn't exactly like the Prince's!"
[Pg 139] As it slowed down, with car after car going by us, Mom let out a little scream and pointed. "Look, there's another car on a truck!" she said. "Wow, if it isn't just like the Prince's!"
"And if that isn't exactly like the Prince!" echoed Sir Ralph, waving his hand at the window of a car next to the truck.
"And if that isn’t just like the Prince!" Sir Ralph exclaimed, waving his hand at the window of a car next to the truck.
We all broke into a shout of ribald joy. Not even a saint could have helped it, I'm sure; for Maida is pretty near to a saint, and she was as bad as any of us.
We all burst into loud, mischievous laughter. Not even a saint could have stopped it, I'm sure; because Maida is pretty close to being a saint, and she was just as wild as any of us.
The Prince's head popped back into the window, like a rabbit's into its hole; but in another second he must have realized that it was no use playing 'possum when there, within a dozen yards, was that big scarlet runner of his, as large as life, though not running for the moment. He quickly decided to make the best of things by turning the tables upon us, and pointing the finger of derision at our automobile, which by careening himself out of the window he could see on its truck.
The Prince's head popped back into the window, like a rabbit peeking into its hole; but in a moment, he must have realized that pretending to be invisible wouldn’t work when, just a dozen yards away, was his big red car, as real as ever, even if it wasn’t moving at the moment. He quickly decided to turn the situation around and mock our car, which he could see from the window as he leaned out.
Before the train had stopped, he was down on the platform, gallantly helping Mamma up the high step into the compartment where he had been sitting; so we all followed.
Before the train had stopped, he was already on the platform, bravely helping Mom up the high step into the compartment where he had been sitting; so we all followed.
"You broke something, I see," His Highness remarked jovially, as if nothing had ever happened to him.
"You broke something, I see," His Highness said cheerfully, as if nothing had ever happened to him.
"It was you who broke it," said I, before either of our men could speak.
"It was you who broke it," I said, before either of our guys could say anything.
"But I mean something in your motor," he explained.
"But I mean something in your engine," he explained.
"Yes, its heart! The long agony of towing you up those miles of mountain was too much for it. But motors' hearts can be mended."
"Yes, its heart! The long struggle of pulling you up those miles of mountain was too much for it. But engines' hearts can be fixed."
"So can young ladies', n'est-ce pas? Well, this is an odd meeting. I telegraphed you, Countess, to the hotel at Cuneo, where we arranged our rendezvous, in case you arrived before me, to say that I was on the way; but now we will all go there together. Since we parted I have had adventures. So, evidently, have you. Joseph's repairs were so unsatisfactory, owing to his own inefficiency and that of the machine shop, that I saw the best thing to [Pg 140] do was to come on by train to Cuneo, where proper tools could be obtained. After some difficulty I found horses to tow me up to the railway terminus at Vievola, where I succeeded in getting a truck, and—voila!"
"So can young ladies, right? Well, this is an unusual meeting. I sent you a telegram, Countess, to the hotel in Cuneo, where we planned to meet, in case you got here before me, to let you know I was on my way; but now we can all go there together. Since we last saw each other, I've had my share of adventures. It seems you have too. Joseph's repairs were so disappointing, due to both his lack of skill and the poor quality of the machine shop, that I figured the best course of action was to take the train to Cuneo, where I could get the right tools. After some trouble, I managed to find horses to pull me up to the train station at Vievola, where I successfully got a truck, and—voila!"
Whereupon Mamma poured a history of our exploits into the Prince's ears, exaggerating a little, but saying nothing detrimental to our Chauffeulier, who would perhaps not have cared or even heard if she had, for he was showing things to Maida through the window.
Whereupon Mom shared our adventures with the Prince, embellishing a bit but not saying anything bad about our driver, who probably wouldn’t have minded or even noticed if she had, since he was showing things to Maida through the window.
"We're in Piedmont now," he said. "How peaceful and pretty, and characteristically Italian it is, with the vines and chestnut trees and mulberries! Who would think, to see this richly cultivated plain, that it was once appropriately nicknamed 'the cockpit of Europe,' because of all the fighting that has gone on here between so many nations, ever since the dawn of civilization? It's just as hard to realize as to believe that the tiny rills trickling over pebbly river-beds which we pass can turn into mighty floods when they choose. When the snows melt on Monte Viso—that great, white, leaning tower against the sky—and on the other snow mountains, then is the time of danger in this land that the sun loves."
"We're in Piedmont now," he said. "It's so peaceful and beautiful, and typically Italian, with the vineyards, chestnut trees, and mulberry trees! Who would have thought, looking at this lush, cultivated plain, that it was once fittingly called 'the cockpit of Europe' because of all the battles fought here by countless nations since the beginning of civilization? It's just as hard to comprehend as it is to believe that the small streams flowing over pebbly riverbeds can become powerful floods whenever they want. When the snow melts on Monte Viso—that great, white, leaning tower against the sky—and on the other snow-capped mountains, that's when this sun-kissed land faces its danger."
Mamma thought the train rather restful after an automobile, but I discouraged her in that opinion by saying that it sounded very old-fashioned, and she amended it by hurriedly remarking that, anyhow, she would soon be tired of resting and glad to get on again.
Mamma thought the train was quite relaxing compared to a car, but I tried to change her mind by saying it sounded really outdated. She quickly changed her tune and said that, in any case, she would get tired of resting soon and would be happy to continue the journey.
"That must be Cuneo, now," said Mr. Barrymore, pointing to a distant town which seemed to grow suddenly up out of the plain, very important, full of vivid colours, and modern looking after the strange, ancient villages we had passed on the way.
"That must be Cuneo now," Mr. Barrymore said, pointing to a town in the distance that appeared to rise suddenly from the plain, looking very significant, full of bright colors, and modern compared to the strange, old villages we had passed along the way.
When we got out of the train Joseph was on the platform, more depressed than ever, but visibly brightening at sight of Mr. Barrymore, for whom he evidently cherishes a lively admiration; or else he regards him as a professional brother.
When we got off the train, Joseph was on the platform, more down than ever, but he clearly perked up when he saw Mr. Barrymore, for whom he obviously has a strong admiration; or maybe he sees him as a fellow professional.
What happened to the two automobiles, I don't know, for we [Pg 141] didn't stop to see. Sir Ralph had a hurried consultation with Mr. Barrymore, and then said that he would take us up to the hotel in a cab, with all our luggage.
What happened to the two cars, I don't know, because we [Pg 141] didn't stop to check. Sir Ralph had a quick chat with Mr. Barrymore, and then said he would take us to the hotel in a cab with all our bags.
There wasn't room for the Prince in our ramshackle old vehicle, and he took another, being apparently very anxious to arrive at the hotel before us. He spoke to his driver, who lashed the one poor nag so furiously that Maida cried out with rage, and they flashed past us, the horse galloping as if Black Care were on his back. But something happened to the harness, and they were obliged to stop; so we got ahead, and reached the wide-arcaded square of the hotel first after all.
There wasn't enough space for the Prince in our dilapidated old car, so he took another one, seemingly eager to get to the hotel before us. He told his driver to hurry, who whipped the poor horse so hard that Maida shouted in anger, and they zoomed past us, the horse running as if it were being chased. But something went wrong with the harness, and they had to stop; so we ended up getting ahead of them and reached the large, arch-lined square of the hotel first after all.
It was quite a grand-looking town, for a middle-sized one, but Mamma drew back hastily when she had taken a step into the hall of the hotel. "Oh, we can't stop here!" she exclaimed. "This must be the worst instead of the best."
It was a pretty impressive town for a mid-sized one, but Mom quickly stepped back after entering the hotel lobby. "Oh, we can't stay here!" she exclaimed. "This has to be the worst instead of the best."
With that several little men in greasy dress-coats, spotted shirts, and collars so low that you could see down their necks, sprang forward and bowed very humbly, like automata. "May I have the extreme honour of asking if it is her very high grace, Madame the Countess Dalmar and suite who felicitate our humble hotel with their presence?" inquired the fattest and spottiest in one long French breath.
With that, a few small men in greasy tuxedos, patterned shirts, and collars so low you could see down their necks stepped forward and bowed very humbly, like automatons. "May I have the immense honor of asking if it is her esteemed grace, Madame the Countess Dalmar and her entourage, who are gracing our humble hotel with their presence?" asked the fattest and most spotted one in one long breath of French.
Mamma drew herself up to her full height, which must be at least five feet three, heels included. I don't know exactly what it is to bridle, but I'm sure she did it. She also moistened her lips and smiled with both dimples.
Mamma stood up straight, which had to be at least five feet three, including her heels. I'm not entirely sure what it means to bridle, but I know she did. She also wet her lips and smiled, showing both her dimples.
"Wee, wee, jay swee Countess Dalmar," she admitted, leaving her suite to account for itself.
"Wee, wee, jay swee Countess Dalmar," she admitted, leaving her suite to account for itself.
"Then I have here a telegram for madame," went on the man, giving her a folded paper which, with an air, he drew forth from an unspeakable pocket.
"Then I have a telegram for you, madame," the man continued, handing her a folded piece of paper that he extracted from a rather dubious pocket.
Mamma looked important enough for a princess, at least, as she accepted (I can't say took) the paper and opened it. "Oh, I might have known," she said, "it's that one the Prince sent this morning. But isn't it funny he telegraphs 'Automobile in grand [Pg 142] condition, took hills like bird, shall make slight détour for pleasure, but will reach Cuneo almost as soon as your party. Dalmar-Kalm.' I don't understand, do you?"
Mamma looked as important as a princess when she accepted (I can't say took) the paper and opened it. "Oh, I should've known," she said, "it's the one the Prince sent this morning. But isn't it strange he wires 'Car in great condition, handles hills like a breeze, will take a slight detour for fun, but will arrive in Cuneo almost as quickly as your group. Dalmar-Kalm.' I don't get it, do you?"
"I understand why the Prince was willing to be left behind at Tenda, and why he wanted to get to this hotel first, anyhow," said I; and Sir Ralph and I were laughing like mad when his belated Highness appeared on the scene. Seeing Mamma with the telegram in her hand, he explained volubly that it had been sent before he decided to save time and wear and tear by coming on the train; but he was red, and stammery, and Sir Ralph looked almost sympathetic, which made me wonder whether all motor-men sometimes tell fibs.
"I get why the Prince wanted to stay back at Tenda and why he wanted to reach this hotel first, anyway," I said; and Sir Ralph and I were laughing like crazy when his late Highness showed up. Upon seeing Mom with the telegram in her hand, he quickly explained that it had been sent before he decided to save time and hassle by taking the train; but he was flushed and stuttering, and Sir Ralph looked almost sympathetic, which made me question whether all drivers sometimes tell little lies.
After being received with so much appreciation, Mamma began to think that perhaps the hotel wasn't so dreadful after all; and when Sir Ralph gave his opinion that it would prove as good as any other, she said that we would stay.
After being welcomed with so much appreciation, Mamma started to think that maybe the hotel wasn't so bad after all; and when Sir Ralph said it would be as good as any other, she agreed that we would stay.
"I should be sorry to hurt the people's feelings, as they seem such nice men," she sighed. "But—I suppose it will only be for coffee?"
"I'd hate to hurt people's feelings, as they seem like such nice guys," she sighed. "But—I guess it will just be for coffee?"
"I'm sorely afraid it will be for dinner to-night and breakfast to-morrow morning too," replied Sir Ralph. "It's too bad that virtue such as ours should have such a reward. We did unto others as we would they should do unto us; and this is the consequence. Terry intends to work all night on the car, if he can get the mechanic to keep his shop going, and we may hope to start as early in the morning as you like."
"I'm really worried it will be for dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow morning too," replied Sir Ralph. "It's unfortunate that our good deeds should come with such a price. We treated others the way we wanted to be treated, and this is what we get. Terry plans to work all night on the car, if he can convince the mechanic to keep the shop open, and we can hope to leave as early in the morning as you want."
"Perhaps Joseph may have mine ready to-night, in which case I can take the ladies on—" the Prince began, but Mamma was too overcome to hear him. Trying to look like a Countess at all costs, she allowed herself and us to be led, as lambs to the slaughter, up a flight of dirty stone stairs, to see the bedrooms.
"Maybe Joseph will have my room ready tonight, in which case I can take the ladies up—" the Prince started, but Mom was too overwhelmed to hear him. Trying her best to act like a Countess, she let herself and us be led, like sheep to the slaughter, up a flight of dirty stone stairs to see the bedrooms.
"You will have our best, is it not, Madame la Comtesse?" inquired the man of the hotel, who seemed to be a cross between a manager and a head-waiter, and who swelled with politeness [Pg 143] behind a shirt-front that resembled nothing so much as the ten of clubs. "Yes, I was sure of that, gracious madame. You and your suite may assure yourselves that you will be placed in our chambres de luxe."
"You’ll have the best we have to offer, right, Madame la Comtesse?" asked the hotel staff member, who appeared to be a mix of manager and head waiter, and was overly polite [Pg 143] behind a shirt front that looked very much like the ten of clubs. "Yes, I knew that, dear madam. You and your suite can rest assured that you'll be accommodated in our chambres de luxe."
With this announcement, he threw open a door, and stood salaaming that we might file in before him.
With this announcement, he opened a door wide and stood bowing so we could walk in before him.
Mamma pitched forward down a step, shrieked, tottered, saved herself by clawing the air, while Maida and I both pitched after her, falling into fits of laughter.
Mamma stumbled forward down a step, screamed, wobbled, and managed to catch herself by grabbing at the air, while Maida and I both lunged after her, breaking into fits of laughter.
It couldn't have been colder in the spotty man's family vault, and I hope not as musty.
It couldn't have been colder in the patchy man's family tomb, and I hope it wasn't as stale.
Maida flew to one of the two windows, set deep in the thickness of the wall, and darkened by the stone arcade outside. But apparently it was hermetically sealed, and so was the other which I attacked. The Ten of Clubs looked shocked when we implored him to open something—anything; and it was with reluctance that he unscrewed a window. "The ladies will be cold," he said. "It is not the weather for letting into the house the out of doors. We do that in the summer."
Maida darted over to one of the two windows, which were set deep into the thick wall and shaded by the stone archway outside. But it seemed completely sealed, and so was the other one I tried to open. The Ten of Clubs looked surprised when we begged him to open something—anything; and he hesitantly unscrewed a window. "The ladies will be cold," he said. "This isn't the weather to let the outside in. We do that in the summer."
"Haven't these windows been opened since then?" gasped Maida.
"Haven't these windows been opened since then?" Maida gasped.
"But no mademoiselle. Not to my knowledge."
"But no, miss. Not that I know of."
"Make him show us other rooms, quick," said Mamma, who can't speak much more French than a cat, though she had a lesson from a handsome young gentleman every day at Cap Martin, at ten francs an hour.
"Make him show us other rooms, hurry," said Mom, who can hardly speak any French at all, even though she had a lesson from a handsome young guy every day at Cap Martin, for ten francs an hour.
"This is the only one that will accommodate the ladies," replied the Ten of Clubs. "The other that we have unoccupied must be for the gentlemen."
"This is the only one that will fit the ladies," replied the Ten of Clubs. "The other one we have available has to be for the gentlemen."
The idea of our two men and the Prince as room-mates was so excruciating that I suddenly felt equal to bearing any hardship; but Mamma hasn't the same sense of humour I have, and she said that she knew she was sickening for something, probably smallpox.
The thought of our two guys and the Prince being roommates was so unbearable that I suddenly felt ready to handle anything; but Mom doesn’t share my sense of humor, and she said she could tell she was coming down with something, probably smallpox.
"Three of us in this room all night!" she wailed. "We shall [Pg 144] never leave the hotel alive."
"Three of us in this room all night!" she cried. "We're never getting out of this hotel alive."
At this juncture Sir Ralph appeared at the door, peeping gingerly in at us, and looking the picture of misery.
At this point, Sir Ralph showed up at the door, cautiously peeking in at us and looking completely miserable.
"I'm so sorry for everything," he said. "Terry's down-stairs, and we both feel that we're awful sweeps, though we hope you won't think we are. He's going to interview the other hotels and see if he can find anything better, so don't decide till he comes back."
"I'm really sorry about everything," he said. "Terry's downstairs, and we both feel like terrible people, though we hope you won't see us that way. He's going to check out the other hotels to see if he can find something better, so don't make any decisions until he gets back."
We three female waifs stood about and smelt things and imagined that we smelled still more things, while Sir Ralph exhausted himself in keeping up a conversation with the Ten of Clubs, as if all four of our lives depended upon it. The ordeal lasted only about ten minutes, though it seemed a year, and then Mr. Barrymore's tall form loomed in the dark doorway.
We three young women stood around, smelling things and imagining we smelled even more, while Sir Ralph tried hard to keep a conversation going with the Ten of Clubs, as if our lives depended on it. The whole thing lasted about ten minutes, even though it felt like a year, and then Mr. Barrymore's tall figure appeared in the dark doorway.
"There's nothing better," he announced desperately. "But you ladies can go on to Alessandria by train with Dalmar-Kalm, who'll be only too happy to take you."
"There's nothing better," he said urgently. "But you ladies can head to Alessandria by train with Dalmar-Kalm, who will be more than happy to take you."
"What, and desert Mr. Automobile-Micawber?" I cut in. "Never! We're none of us infirm old women, are we, Mamma, that we should mind roughing it, for once?"
"What, and leave Mr. Automobile-Micawber behind?" I interrupted. "Never! We're not a bunch of frail old ladies, are we, Mom, that we should be worried about toughing it out, just this once?"
"No-o," said Mamma. "It—I dare say it will be fun. And anyhow, we can have them make a fire here, so it will be less like picnicking in one's own grave."
"No-o," said Mamma. "It—I think it will be fun. And anyway, we can have them build a fire here, so it won't feel as much like picnicking in your own grave."
The very thought of a fire was cheering, and we trooped off to the salle à manger, where it was understood that the Prince had gone to order coffee. Mr. Barrymore wouldn't stay, for he was anxious to get back to the motor, which he had left at a machinist's, and deserted only long enough to come and give us news. The "shop" was to keep open all night, and he would work there, making a new cone. Joseph, it seemed, was to work all night in another shop, and both automobiles were to be ready in the morning.
The very thought of a fire was uplifting, and we headed to the salle à manger, where it was understood that the Prince had gone to order coffee. Mr. Barrymore wouldn’t stick around because he was eager to return to the car, which he had left at a mechanic’s, and he had only come to give us an update. The "shop" was supposed to stay open all night, and he would be working there to make a new cone. It turned out that Joseph was also going to work all night in another shop, and both cars were supposed to be ready by morning.
"But you will be horribly tired, driving through the day and working through the night," said Maida. "I for one would rather stop here to-morrow."
"But you'll be incredibly tired, driving all day and working all night," Maida said. "I for one would prefer to stay here tomorrow."
[Pg 145] "It's nothing, thanks. I shall rather like it," replied the Chauffeulier. "Please don't worry about me." Then he gave us a smile and was off.
[Pg 145] "It's all good, thanks. I’ll actually enjoy it," replied the driver. "Don't worry about me." Then he smiled at us and left.
The coffee was so good that our spirits rose. We decided to unpack what we needed, and then, by way of passing the time before dinner, take a walk.
The coffee was so good that it lifted our spirits. We decided to unpack what we needed and then, to pass the time before dinner, take a walk.
Strange to say, the Prince did not complain of his quarters, but, after we had for the second time refused his offer of an escort to Alessandria, became somewhat taciturn. We left him in the salle à manger, Mamma heading the procession of three which trailed to our room. Maida and I lingered behind for a moment, to play with our first Italian cat, until a wild cry of "Fire!" from Mamma took us after her with a rush. A cloud of wood smoke beat us back, but Maida pushed bravely in, got a window open again, and, after all, there was nothing more exciting than a smoky chimney.
Strangely enough, the Prince didn't complain about his living arrangements. However, after we once again turned down his offer to escort us to Alessandria, he became a bit quiet. We left him in the salle à manger, with Mom leading the three of us back to our room. Maida and I hung back for a moment to play with our first Italian cat until Mom's wild shout of "Fire!" made us rush after her. A cloud of wood smoke pushed us back, but Maida bravely went in, opened a window again, and in the end, it turned out there was nothing more exciting than a smoky chimney.
Sir Ralph, hearing the clamour, flew to the rescue, poured water from the pitcher into the ricketty three-legged stove, upset a good deal on himself and on the cemented floor (which looked like a slab of frozen sausage), and finally succeeded in putting out the fire, though not until both beds were covered with blacks.
Sir Ralph, hearing the noise, rushed to help, poured water from the pitcher onto the wobbly three-legged stove, spilled a lot on himself and on the cemented floor (which looked like a slab of frozen sausage), and finally managed to put out the fire, though not before both beds were covered in soot.
By this time the Ten of Clubs, the Nine, the Eight, and all the little cards of the pack were dancing about us in a state bordering on frenzy, but Maida and Sir Ralph together eventually evolved a kind of unlovely order out of chaos, and everybody was told off to perform some task or other: one to sweep, one to dust, one to change the bedding.
By this time, the Ten of Clubs, the Nine, the Eight, and all the little cards in the deck were swirling around us in a frenzy, but Maida and Sir Ralph managed to create a sort of unappealing order from the chaos, and everyone was assigned some task: one to sweep, one to dust, one to change the bedding.
In self-defence we hurried off for our walk, leaving the unpacking for later, and Sir Ralph proposed that we should find the machine shop where the Chauffeulier was working.
In self-defense, we quickly set off for our walk, postponing the unpacking for later, and Sir Ralph suggested we look for the machine shop where the Chauffeulier was working.
We asked the way of a good many people, all of whom gave us different directions, and at last arrived at a building which looked as if it might be the right place. But there was Joseph pounding and mumbling to himself, and no Mr. Barrymore.
We asked a lot of people for directions, and they all gave us different answers. Finally, we reached a building that seemed like it could be the right spot. But there was Joseph hammering away and talking to himself, and no sign of Mr. Barrymore.
In common humanity we stopped for a few words, and Joseph [Pg 146] mistook our inch of sympathy for an ell. Almost with tears he told us the history of his day, and choked with rage at the prospect of the long task before him. "What is it to His Highness that I lose a night's sleep?" he demanded of a red-hot bar which he brandished at arm's length. "Less than nothing, since he will sleep, believing that all will be ready for him in the morning. But his dreams would be less calm if he knew what I know."
In our shared humanity, we paused for a few words, and Joseph [Pg 146] misread our small amount of sympathy as something much bigger. Almost in tears, he shared the story of his day, choking with anger at the thought of the long task ahead of him. "What does it matter to His Highness that I lose a night's sleep?" he asked, waving a red-hot bar at arm's length. "Less than nothing, since he’ll sleep soundly, thinking everything will be ready for him in the morning. But his dreams would be a lot less peaceful if he knew what I know."
"What do you know, Joseph?" asked Sir Ralph, edging nearer to the door.
"What do you know, Joseph?" asked Sir Ralph, moving closer to the door.
"That the water-power will be shut off at eleven o'clock, the lathes will no longer turn, and I can do nothing more till to-morrow morning at six, which means that we will not get away till noon."
"Since the water-power will be turned off at eleven o'clock, the lathes will stop working, and I won't be able to do anything else until tomorrow morning at six, which means we won't be able to leave until noon."
"By Jove, that's a bad look-out for us, too," said Sir Ralph, when we had escaped from Joseph. "I suppose things will be the same at Terry's place. What a den for you to be delayed in! But I've an idea the Prince means to sneak quietly off to Alessandria, and will expect Joseph to meet him there to-morrow morning. My prophetic soul divined as much from his thoughtful air as we discussed our quarters."
"Wow, that's not good for us either," said Sir Ralph, after we got away from Joseph. "I bet things will be just as messy at Terry's place. What a terrible spot to be stuck in! But I have a feeling the Prince plans to sneak away to Alessandria and expects Joseph to meet him there tomorrow morning. I could sense that from his serious expression while we talked about our accommodations."
It was almost dark when we found the other machine shop, at the end of a long straight road with a brook running down it, and trees walking beside it, straight and tall. It was a wonderful, luminous kind of darkness, though, that hadn't forgotten the sunset, and the white mountains were great banks of roses against a skyful of fading violets. But the minute we stepped inside the machine shop, which was lighted up by the red fire of a forge, night seemed suddenly to fall like a black curtain, shutting down outside the open door and windows.
It was nearly dark when we discovered the other machine shop, at the end of a long straight road with a stream flowing beside it, flanked by tall, straight trees. However, it was a beautiful, glowing kind of darkness that still remembered the sunset, and the white mountains looked like massive banks of roses against a sky full of fading violets. But the moment we entered the machine shop, lit by the red glow of a forge, night seemed to drop suddenly like a black curtain, closing off the outside world beyond the open door and windows.
Two or three men were moving about the place, weedy little fellows; and Mr. Barrymore was like a giant among them, a splendid giant, handsomer than ever in a workman's blouse of blue linen, open at the throat, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to show muscles that rippled under the skin like waves on a river.
Two or three men were wandering around the area; they were skinny little guys, and Mr. Barrymore stood out like a giant among them—an impressive giant, looking better than ever in a blue linen work shirt, unbuttoned at the neck, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing muscles that rippled under his skin like waves on a river.
That was what I thought, at least; but Sir Ralph apparently [Pg 147] differed with me, for he said, "You do look a sweep. Isn't it about time you dropped work, and thought of making yourself respectable for dinner? Judging by appearances, that will take you several hours."
That’s what I thought, at least; but Sir Ralph clearly disagreed with me, because he said, "You really look like a mess. Isn’t it time you stopped working and started getting yourself presentable for dinner? Going by how you look, that’s going to take you a few hours."
"I'm going to have a sandwich and some wine of the country here," answered the giant in the blue blouse. "Awfully good of you all to come and call on me. Would you like to see the new cone, as far as it's got?"
"I'm going to have a sandwich and some local wine here," replied the giant in the blue shirt. "It's really nice of all of you to come and visit me. Would you like to see the new cone, as far as it's been developed?"
Of course we said "yes," and were shown a thing which looked as if it might be finished in ten minutes; but when Sir Ralph commented on it to that effect, Mr. Barrymore went into technical explanations concerning "cooling" and other details of which none of us understood anything except that it would be an "all night job."
Of course we said "yes," and were shown something that looked like it could be done in ten minutes; but when Sir Ralph mentioned that, Mr. Barrymore started explaining the technical stuff about "cooling" and other details that none of us understood, except that it would take "all night."
"But you can't work without the water-wheel, I suppose?" said Sir Ralph. "And we've just heard from Joseph toiling away at a rival establishment, that the water is taken off at eleven."
"But you can't work without the water wheel, can you?" said Sir Ralph. "And we've just heard from Joseph, who’s working hard at a competing place, that they cut off the water at eleven."
"This water won't be. I'm paying extra for it. As a great concession I'm to have it all night. Joseph could have got it, too, if he'd had a little forethought."
"This water won't be free. I'm paying extra for it. As a big favor, I'm allowed to have it all night. Joseph could've also gotten it if he had just thought ahead a bit."
"Joseph and forethought! Never. And what is more, I don't think he'd thank us for the information. He is rejoicing in the thought of an excuse for bed."
"Joseph and planning ahead! Never. Plus, I don't think he'd appreciate the info. He's already excited about having an excuse to go to bed."
"That's the difference between a chauffeur and a Chauffeulier," I whispered to Maida.
"That's the difference between a chauffeur and a Chauffeulier," I whispered to Maida.
"It's really very good of you to work so hard," said Mamma, condescending to the blue blouse.
"It's really great of you to work so hard," said Mom, looking down at the blue blouse.
"I never enjoyed anything more in my life," replied its wearer, with a quick glance towards Maida, which I intercepted. "The one drop of poison in my cup is the thought of your discomfort," he went on, to us all. "You must make them give you warming-pans anyhow, and be sure that the beds are dry."
"I've never enjoyed anything more in my life," replied the person wearing it, shooting a quick look at Maida, which I caught. "The only bad part of my happiness is knowing you're uncomfortable," he continued, addressing all of us. "You really should make them provide warming pans and make sure the beds are dry."
"I should think they're more like swamps than beds," said Mamma. "We shall sit up rather than run any risk."
"I think they're more like swamps than actual beds," said Mom. "We'll sit up instead of taking any chances."
"Hush, Beechy!" she indignantly cut me short.
"Hush, Beechy!" she said indignantly, interrupting me.
"I was only going to say there might be—"
"I just wanted to say there could be—"
"You mustn't say it."
"Don't say it."
"Sofa birds."
"Couch potatoes."
"You naughty, dreadful child. I am astonished."
"You naughty, awful kid. I'm shocked."
"Don't prig or vipe, Mamma. Sir Ralph, don't you think those are nice abbreviations? I made them up myself. 'Prig', be priggish. 'Vipe', be viperish. Mamma's not at all nice when she's either."
"Don't steal or whine, Mom. Sir Ralph, don’t you think those are cool shortcuts? I came up with them myself. 'Prig' means to be priggish. 'Vipe' means to be viperish. Mom isn’t nice at all when she’s either."
"I think you're all wonderfully good-natured," remarked Mr. Barrymore hastily. "You are the right sort of people for a motoring trip, and no other sort ought to undertake one. Only men and women of fairly venturesome dispositions, who revel in the unexpected, and love adventure, who can find fun in hardships, and keep happy in the midst of disappointments, should set out on such an expedition as this."
"I think you're all really good-natured," Mr. Barrymore said quickly. "You’re exactly the kind of people for a road trip, and no one else should attempt one. Only men and women with a bit of a daring spirit, who enjoy surprises and love adventure, who can find joy in challenges and stay positive even when things don't go as planned, should embark on an expedition like this."
"In fact, young people like ourselves," added Mamma, beaming again.
"In fact, young people like us," added Mom, beaming again.
"Yes, young in heart, if not in body. I hope to be still motoring when I'm eighty; but I shall feel a boy."
"Yes, young at heart, if not in body. I hope to still be driving when I'm eighty; but I’ll feel like a kid."
We left him hammering, and looking radiantly happy, which was more than we were as we wandered back to the arcaded town and our hotel; but we felt obliged to live up to the reputation Mr. Barrymore had just given us.
We left him hammering away, looking really happy, which was more than we felt as we strolled back to the covered town and our hotel; but we felt we had to uphold the reputation Mr. Barrymore had just given us.
Somehow, the Ten of Clubs and his assistant cards (there were no chambermaids) had contrived to make a fire that didn't smoke, and the bed linen looked clean, though coarse. Dinner—which we ate with our feet on boards under the table, to keep them off the cold stone floor—was astonishingly good, and we quite enjoyed grating cheese into our soup on a funny little grater with which each one of us was supplied. We had a delicious red wine with a little sparkle in it, called Nebiolo, which Sir Ralph ordered because he thought we would like it; and when we had finished dining, Mamma felt so much encouraged that [Pg 149] she spoke quite cheerfully of the coming night.
Somehow, the Ten of Clubs and his assistant cards (there were no chambermaids) managed to make a fire that didn’t smoke, and the bed linens looked clean, though rough. Dinner—which we ate with our feet on boards under the table to keep them off the cold stone floor—was surprisingly good, and we really enjoyed grating cheese into our soup using a funny little grater that each of us had. We had a delicious red wine with a little sparkle called Nebiolo, which Sir Ralph ordered because he thought we would like it; and when we finished dining, Mamma felt so much better that [Pg 149] she spoke quite cheerfully about the coming night.
We went to our room early, as we were to start at eight next day, and try to get on to Pavia and Milan. We had said nothing to the Prince about the water-wheel, as it was not our affair to get Joseph into trouble with his master; and I'm afraid that all of us except Mamma derived a sinful amusement from the thought of His Highness's surprise in the morning, at Alessandria or elsewhere. Even Maida's eyes twinkled naughtily as he bade us "au revoir, till our start," kissing Mamma's hand, and saying nothing of his night plans.
We went to our room early since we were supposed to leave at eight the next day and try to make our way to Pavia and Milan. We didn't mention the water-wheel to the Prince because it wasn't our responsibility to get Joseph in trouble with his boss; and I'm afraid that all of us, except Mamma, found a guilty pleasure in imagining His Highness's surprise in the morning, whether in Alessandria or elsewhere. Even Maida's eyes sparkled mischievously as he said "au revoir, until our departure," kissing Mamma's hand and keeping quiet about his plans for the night.
"I wonder, if we could go to bed, after all?" soliloquized Mamma, looking wistfully at the hard pillows and the red-cased down coverlets, when we were in our room. "What was that Mr. Terrymore said about warming-pans? I should have thought they were obsolete, except to hang up on parlour walls."
"I wonder, if we could go to bed, after all?" Mamma said to herself, gazing longingly at the hard pillows and the red-covered comforters in our room. "What did Mr. Terrymore say about warming pans? I would have thought they were old-fashioned, just meant for decoration on living room walls."
"I should think nothing that was in use six hundred years ago, was obsolete in an Italian town like this," said I. "Anyhow, I'll ring and see."
"I don't think anything that was used six hundred years ago is outdated in an Italian town like this," I said. "Anyway, I'll ring and check."
I did ring, but nobody answered, of course, and I had to yell over the top of the stairs for five minutes, when the Ten of Clubs appeared, looking much injured, having evidently believed that he was rid of us for the night.
I did ring, but no one answered, of course, and I had to shout up the stairs for five minutes, when the Ten of Clubs showed up, looking quite upset, having clearly thought he was free from us for the night.
He almost wept in his earnest endeavours to assure us that the bedding was as dry and warm as the down on a swan's breast; but when Maida insisted on warming-pans, he admitted that they existed in the house.
He nearly cried as he tried hard to convince us that the bedding was as dry and warm as the down on a swan's breast; but when Maida insisted on using warming pans, he admitted that they were available in the house.
We were sleepy, but having ordered warming-pans which might stalk in at any moment, we could not well begin to undress until they had been produced and manipulated. We waited an hour, until we were nodding in our chairs, and all started from a troubled doze at the sound of loud knocking at the door.
We were tired, but since we had ordered warming pans that could arrive at any moment, we couldn't really start getting undressed until they showed up and did their thing. We waited for an hour, dozing off in our chairs, until we were jolted awake by loud knocking at the door.
In the passage outside stood four sad-faced young men of the card tribe, bearing two large and extraordinary implements. One looked like a couple of kitchen chairs lashed together foot to foot, to make a cage, or frame, the space between being lined with [Pg 150] sheets of metal. The other was a great copper dish with big enough holes pricked in the cover to show the red glow from a quantity of acrid smelling wood-ashes.
In the passage outside stood four sorrowful young men from the card tribe, holding two large and unusual tools. One resembled two kitchen chairs tied together at the feet to create a cage or frame, with the space in between lined with [Pg 150] sheets of metal. The other was a large copper dish with enough holes poked in the lid to let the red glow from a pile of acrid-smelling wood ashes shine through.
All four came into the room, solemn and silent, while we watched them, struck dumb with amazement.
All four entered the room, serious and quiet, while we watched them, speechless with astonishment.
They set down the things on the floor, turned open the larger bed of the two, which Mamma and I were to share, put in the huge frame, shoved the copper bowl inside it, as a cook would shove a dish into the oven, and replaced the covering. Then they stood and gravely waited for ten or fifteen minutes, till they thought that the dampness had been cooked out. We stood by also, momentarily expecting to see the bed break into flames; but nothing happened, except rather a nice, hot smell. At last, with one accord they flew at the blankets, turned them down, took out dish and frame, and repeated the same process with Maida's narrow bunk.
They placed their stuff on the floor, opened the bigger of the two beds that Mom and I were going to share, set the large frame in it, pushed the copper bowl inside like a cook would put a dish in the oven, and covered it back up. Then they stood there, seriously waiting for about ten or fifteen minutes, until they thought the moisture had been cooked out. We stood by too, half-expecting the bed to burst into flames, but nothing happened, except for a nice warm smell. Finally, all at once they started on the blankets, pulled them back, took out the dish and frame, and did the same thing with Maida's smaller bed.
It took us nearly an hour afterwards to get ready for bed, but when we crept in at last it was like cuddling down in a hot bird's-nest, odorous of cooked moss.
It took us almost an hour to get ready for bed afterwards, but when we finally crawled in, it felt like snuggling into a cozy bird's nest, smelling like cooked moss.
In the daytime we hadn't noticed that the hotel was particularly noisy, though it apparently had most other vices; but ten o'clock seemed the hour when all the activities of the house and town began.
During the day, we hadn't really paid attention to how noisy the hotel was, even though it clearly had plenty of other issues; but at ten o'clock, it felt like all the activity in the hotel and the town kicked off.
Church bells boomed; electric bells rang; myriads of heavy carts rolled through the stone-paved square; people sang, whistled, laughed, gossipped, quarrelled, and even danced in the street under our windows, while those in the hotel had apparently been advised by their physicians to run up and down stairs for hours without stopping, for the good of their livers.
Church bells echoed; electric bells chimed; countless heavy carts rolled through the stone-paved square; people sang, whistled, laughed, gossiped, argued, and even danced in the street beneath our windows, while those in the hotel seemed to have been told by their doctors to run up and down the stairs for hours on end, for the sake of their health.
It was a busy night for everybody, and my one consolation was in planning the dreadful tortures I would inflict on the whole population of Cuneo if I were King of Italy. I thought of some very original things, but the worst of it was, when I did finally [Pg 151] fall asleep I dreamed that they were being tried on me
It was a hectic night for everyone, and my only comfort was imagining the terrible punishments I would unleash on the entire population of Cuneo if I were the King of Italy. I came up with some really creative ideas, but the worst part was when I finally did [Pg 151] fall asleep, I dreamed that they were being used against me.
XIII
A CHAPTER OF WILD BEASTS
"The dear thing! How nice to see it again! I could kiss it," I heard Maida saying. Something was snorting dreadfully, too. I'm not sure which waked me. But I sleepily asked Maida what it was she could kiss.
"The sweet thing! How wonderful to see it again! I could kiss it," I heard Maida saying. Something was snorting loudly as well. I'm not sure which woke me up. But I sleepily asked Maida what it was that she could kiss.
"Why, the automobile, of course," she replied. "Now, Beechy, don't drop off again. It's down there in the courtyard. Can't you hear it calling? This is the third time I've tried to wake you up."
"Why, the car, of course," she replied. "Now, Beechy, don't fall back asleep again. It's down there in the courtyard. Can't you hear it calling? This is the third time I've tried to wake you up."
"Oh, I thought it was the Ten of Clubs roaring, while I dipped him repeatedly into boiling cod-liver oil," I murmured; but I jumped out of bed and dressed myself as if the house were on fire.
"Oh, I thought it was the Ten of Clubs roaring while I kept dipping him into boiling cod-liver oil," I murmured; but I jumped out of bed and got dressed as if the house were on fire.
Mamma said that she had been up since six; and I knew why; she hadn't liked to make herself beautiful under the eyes of Maida, so exquisitely adorned by Nature. But she was fresh and gay as a cricket.
Mamma said she’d been up since six, and I knew why; she didn’t want to make herself beautiful in front of Maida, who was naturally so stunning. But she was cheerful and lively as a cricket.
In the salle à manger were Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore, who had brought the motor from the machine shop. He looked as well tubbed and groomed as if he had had two hours for his toilet, instead of twenty minutes; and we laughed a great deal as we told our night adventures, feeling as if we'd been friends for months, if not years. It was much nicer without the Prince, I thought, though Mamma kept glancing at the door, and showed her disappointment on learning that he had stolen off to sleep at Alessandria. Joseph, it seemed, had telegraphed him this morning about the water-wheel, and the news that his automobile couldn't [Pg 152] be ready till twelve or one o'clock.
In the dining room were Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore, who had brought the car from the shop. He looked as well-groomed as if he had two hours to get ready instead of just twenty minutes; and we laughed a lot as we shared our night adventures, feeling like we had been friends for months, if not years. It was much nicer without the Prince, I thought, although Mom kept glancing at the door and showed her disappointment when she learned he had slipped off to sleep in Alessandria. It seemed Joseph had telegraphed him this morning about the water-wheel and that his car wouldn't be ready until twelve or one o'clock.
As we thankfully turned our backs on Cuneo we realized why it had been given a name signifying "wedge," because of the two river torrents, the Stura and Gesso, that whittle the town to a point, one on either side. For a while we ran smoothly along a road on a high embankment, which reminded Sir Ralph and the Chauffeulier of the Loire; less beautiful though, they thought, despite the great wedding-ring of white mountains that girdled the country round.
As we gratefully left Cuneo behind, we understood why it was named "wedge," due to the two river streams, the Stura and Gesso, that carve the town to a point, each on opposite sides. For a while, we traveled smoothly along a road on a high embankment, which reminded Sir Ralph and the Chauffeulier of the Loire; although they thought it was less beautiful, despite the stunning ring of white mountains surrounding the area.
By and by the mountains dwindled to hills, purple and blue in the distance, misty spring-green in the foreground; in place of the dandelions of yesterday we had a carpet of buttercups woven in gold on either side of the road. There was always the river, too; and, as Maida said, water brightens a landscape as a diamond brightens a ring.
Soon the mountains shrank to hills, purple and blue in the distance, with a misty spring-green in the foreground; instead of yesterday's dandelions, we had a golden carpet of buttercups on either side of the road. The river was always there, and as Maida said, water makes a landscape shine like a diamond sparkles in a ring.
The air was as warm now as on the Riviera but there was a tingle of youth and spring in it, while at Cap Martin it was already heavy with the perfume of summer flowers. And we had not to be sorry for poor people to-day, for there were no poverty-stricken villages. The country was rich, every inch cultivated, and there were comfortable farms with tall, important-looking gateways. But, then, Mr. Barrymore told us that it was no safer to judge an Italian farm by its gateway than an Italian village shop by the contents of its windows.
The air was just as warm now as it was on the Riviera, but it had a youthful, spring-like freshness to it, while at Cap Martin it felt heavy with the scent of summer flowers. And we didn’t have to feel sorry for the less fortunate today, because there weren’t any impoverished villages around. The countryside was thriving, every bit of land was cultivated, and there were nice farms with tall, impressive gateways. However, Mr. Barrymore warned us that it was just as misleading to judge an Italian farm by its gateway as it was to evaluate an Italian village shop by what was displayed in its windows.
After a while, just as we might have begun to tire of the far-reaching plain, it broke into billows, each earthy wave crested by a ruined château, or a still thriving mediæval town. Bra was the finest, with a grand old red-brown castle towering high on a hill, and throwing a cool shadow all across the hot, white road below.
After a while, just when we might have started to get bored with the vast plain, it rolled into waves, each earthy swell topped by a crumbling castle or a still bustling medieval town. Bra was the best, with a grand old red-brown castle standing tall on a hill, casting a cool shadow over the hot, white road below.
"We must stop in Asti, if it's but for ten minutes," said Sir Ralph.
"We have to stop in Asti, even if it's just for ten minutes," said Sir Ralph.
"Why?" asked Maida, over her shoulder (she was sitting in the front seat again, where Mr. Barrymore had contrived to put her). "Do you mean on account of Vittorio Alfieri?"
"Why?" Maida asked, looking back (she was sitting in the front seat again, thanks to Mr. Barrymore's arrangement). "Are you talking about Vittorio Alfieri?"
"Who is he?" inquired Mamma; and I was wondering, too; [Pg 153] but I hate to show that I don't know things Maida knows.
"Who is he?" Mom asked, and I was curious too; [Pg 153] but I hate to admit that I don't know things Maida knows.
"Oh, he was a charming poet, born in Asti in the middle of the eighteenth century," said Maida. "I've read a lot about him, at—at home. He had one of the prettiest love stories in history. It is like an Anthony Hope romance. I thought, perhaps, Sir Ralph wanted us to see the house where he lived."
"Oh, he was a charming poet, born in Asti in the middle of the eighteenth century," Maida said. "I've read a lot about him at home. He had one of the most beautiful love stories in history. It's like an Anthony Hope romance. I thought maybe Sir Ralph wanted us to see the house where he lived."
"I'm ashamed to say it was the Asti Spumante I was thinking of," confessed Sir Ralph. "It's a wine for children, but it might amuse you all to taste it on its native heath; and you could drink the health of Vittorio Alfieri—in a better world."
"I'm embarrassed to admit it was the Asti Spumante I had in mind," confessed Sir Ralph. "It's a wine for kids, but it might be fun for all of you to try it where it comes from; and you could raise a toast to Vittorio Alfieri—in a better world."
Mamma thought that proceeding rather too Popish for a professed Presbyterian; nevertheless, we decided to have the wine. We approached Asti by way of a massive gateway, which formed a part of the ancient fortifications of the city; and though we had seen several others rather like it since coming into Piedmont and Lombardy, it struck me with a sort of awe that I would have been ashamed to put into words, except on paper, for fear somebody might laugh. I suppose it's because I come from a country where we think houses aged at fifty, and antique at a hundred; but these old fortified towns and ruined castles frowning down from rocky heights give me the kind of eerie thrill one might have if one had just died and was being introduced to scenery and society on the fixed stars or planets.
Mom thought it was a bit too Catholic for someone who claims to be a Presbyterian; still, we decided to have the wine. We entered Asti through a massive gateway that was part of the city's ancient fortifications; and although we had seen several similar ones since arriving in Piedmont and Lombardy, it filled me with a sense of awe that I would have been too embarrassed to express out loud, except on paper, in case someone laughed. I guess it’s because I come from a place where we consider buildings fifty years old to be old, and a hundred to be antique; but these ancient fortified towns and crumbling castles looming from rocky heights give me a kind of eerie thrill, like what one might feel if they had just died and were being introduced to the scenery and society of the fixed stars or planets.
At home it had always seemed so useless to know which was which, Guelfs or Ghibellines, when I was studying history, that I made no effort to fix them in my mind; but now, when I caught snatches of talk between Maida and the Chauffeulier, to whom the Guelfs and Ghibellines are still apparently as real as Republicans and Democrats were to Papa, I wished that I knew a little more about them. But how could I tell in those days that I would ever be darting about in a country where George Washington and Abraham Lincoln would seem more unreal than the Swabian Emperors, the Marquesses of Montferrat, and the Princes of Savoie ever did to me in Denver?
At home, it always seemed pointless to know who was who, Guelfs or Ghibellines, while I was studying history, so I didn't bother to remember them. But now, when I overheard conversations between Maida and the Chauffeulier, who still treat the Guelfs and Ghibellines as real as Republicans and Democrats were to Dad, I wished I knew a bit more about them. But how could I have known back then that I would end up in a place where George Washington and Abraham Lincoln would feel more fictional than the Swabian Emperors, the Marquesses of Montferrat, and the Princes of Savoie ever did to me in Denver?
I envied Maida when I heard her say that the House of Savoie [Pg 154] had been like Gœthe's star, "unhasting and unresting" in its absorption of other principalities, marquisates, counties, duchies, and provinces, which it had matched into one great mosaic, at last, making the kingdom of Italy. Mr. Barrymore loves Italy so much that he likes her for knowing these things, and I think I shall steal that book she bought at Nice, and is always reading—Hallam's "Middle Ages."
I envied Maida when I heard her say that the House of Savoie [Pg 154] had been like Goethe's star, "unhasting and unresting" in its absorption of other principalities, marquisates, counties, duchies, and provinces, which it had combined into one great mosaic, finally creating the kingdom of Italy. Mr. Barrymore loves Italy so much that he appreciates her for knowing these things, and I think I shall steal that book she bought in Nice, which she is always reading—Hallam's "Middle Ages."
The effect of the grim old gateways, even upon me, is a little marred by the fact that from out of their shadows usually jump small blue-uniformed Octroi men like Jacks from a box. At Asti there was a particularly fussy one, who wouldn't take Mr. Barrymore's word that we'd nothing to declare, but poked and prodded at our hold-alls and bags, and even sniffed as if he suspected us of spirits, tobacco, or onions. He looked so comic as he did this that Maida laughed, which appeared to overwhelm him with remorse, as if an angel had had hysterics. He flushed, bowed, motioned for us to pass on, and we sailed into a wide, rather stately old street.
The impact of the dark old gateways, even on me, is slightly diminished by the fact that small guys in blue uniforms often pop out of their shadows like Jacks from a box. At Asti, there was one particularly picky guy who wouldn't take Mr. Barrymore's word that we had nothing to declare. He poked and prodded at our bags and even sniffed as if he thought we were hiding alcohol, tobacco, or onions. He looked so silly doing this that Maida laughed, which seemed to fill him with guilt, as if an angel had suddenly gone into hysterics. He blushed, bowed, motioned for us to go ahead, and we moved into a wide, rather grand old street.
"Oh, look!" Maida cried out, pointing, and the Chauffeulier slowed down before a house with a marble tablet on it. It was almost a palace; and Mamma began to feel some respect for Vittorio Alfieri when she read on the slab of marble that he had been born there. "Why, he must have been a gentleman!" she exclaimed.
"Oh, look!" Maida shouted, pointing, and the driver slowed down in front of a house with a marble plaque on it. It was almost like a palace; and Mom started to feel a bit of respect for Vittorio Alfieri when she read on the marble slab that he had been born there. "Wow, he must have been a real gentleman!" she exclaimed.
Maida and Mr. Barrymore laughed at that, and Sir Ralph said that evidently the Countess had a small opinion of poets.
Maida and Mr. Barrymore laughed at that, and Sir Ralph said that it was clear the Countess held poets in low regard.
"Another Countess loved Alfieri," remarked Mr. Barrymore; and when Mamma heard that, she made a note to buy his poems. But I don't believe she knew who the Countess of Albany was, though she was able to join feebly in the conversation about the Young Pretender.
"Another Countess loved Alfieri," Mr. Barrymore commented; and when Mom heard that, she made a note to buy his poems. But I don't think she knew who the Countess of Albany was, even though she could weakly participate in the conversation about the Young Pretender.
We went into the house, and wandered about some cold, gloomy rooms, in one of which Vittorio had happened to be born. We saw his portrait, and a sonnet in his own handwriting, which Mr. Barrymore translated for Maida, and would for me, perhaps, [Pg 155] only I was too proud to interrupt. Altogether I should have felt quite out of it if it hadn't been for Sir Ralph. After our talk about the worm and other things, he couldn't help guessing what my feelings were, and he did his best to make me forget my sorrow. He said that he didn't know anything about the Italian poets except the really necessary ones, such as Dante and Petrarch, and as little as possible of them. Then he asked about the American ones, and seemed interested in Walt Whitman and Eugene Field and James Whitcomb Riley, all of whom I can recite by the yard.
We went into the house and wandered through some cold, gloomy rooms, one of which was where Vittorio was born. We saw his portrait and a sonnet in his own handwriting, which Mr. Barrymore translated for Maida and probably would have for me, too, if I hadn't been too proud to interrupt. Overall, I would have felt completely out of place if it weren't for Sir Ralph. After our conversation about the worm and other topics, he could tell how I felt, and he tried his best to help me forget my sadness. He mentioned that he didn’t know much about Italian poets except for the essential ones, like Dante and Petrarch, and even then, it was only a little. Then, he asked about American poets and seemed interested in Walt Whitman, Eugene Field, and James Whitcomb Riley, all of whom I can recite extensively.
When we had scraped up every item of interest about Alfieri, as Papa used to scrape up butter for his bread rather than take a fresh bit, we spun on again to an old-fashioned hotel, where everybody rushed to meet us, bowing, and looked ready to cry when they found we didn't want rooms.
When we had gathered every interesting detail about Alfieri, like Papa used to scrape up butter for his bread instead of taking a fresh piece, we moved on to an old-fashioned hotel, where everyone rushed to greet us, bowing, and seemed ready to cry when they realized we didn't need rooms.
"Perhaps the Countess would absolve you from your vow of temperance, Terry, that you may have the exquisite delight of quaffing a little Asti Spumante," said Sir Ralph to Mr. Barrymore, when we were at a table in a large, cool dining-room.
"Maybe the Countess would free you from your promise of moderation, Terry, so you can enjoy the exquisite pleasure of sipping a bit of Asti Spumante," Sir Ralph said to Mr. Barrymore as we sat at a table in a large, cool dining room.
"Why, of course," replied Mamma, and then opened her eyes wide when both men laughed, and Mr. Barrymore intimated that Sir Ralph's head would be improved by punching. Neither of them would take any of the wine when it came, though it looked fascinating, fizzling out of beautiful bottles decked with gold and silver foil, like champagne. It tasted like champagne too, so far as I could tell; but perhaps I'm not a judge, as there was never any wine except elderberry at home, and I've only had champagne twice since I've been the child of a Countess. The Asti was nice and sweet. I loved it, and so did Mamma, who said she would have it, torrents of it, at the next dinner party she gave. But when Sir Ralph hurried to tell her that it was cheap, she vacillated, worrying lest it shouldn't be worthy to go with her crowns.
"Of course," Mamma replied, widening her eyes when both men laughed, and Mr. Barrymore hinted that Sir Ralph's head could use a punch. Neither of them would touch the wine when it arrived, even though it looked tempting, fizzing out of beautiful bottles adorned with gold and silver foil, just like champagne. It tasted like champagne to me, as far as I could tell; but maybe I'm not an expert since the only wine we had at home was elderberry, and I've only had champagne twice since becoming the child of a Countess. The Asti was nice and sweet. I loved it, and so did Mamma, who said she would serve torrents of it at her next dinner party. But when Sir Ralph rushed to inform her that it was cheap, she hesitated, concerned that it might not be good enough to go with her crowns.
I don't know whether it was the Spumante, or the sunshine, as golden as the wine, but I felt quite happy again when we drove [Pg 156] out of Asti. I didn't care at all that I wasn't sitting beside Mr. Barrymore, though I thought that I probably should care again by and by. Mamma was happy, too, and Sir Ralph amused us by planning a book to be called "Motoring for Experts, by Experts." There were a good many Rules for Automobilists, such as:—
I don't know if it was the Spumante or the sunshine, which was as golden as the wine, but I felt pretty happy again when we drove [Pg 156] out of Asti. I didn't mind at all that I wasn't sitting next to Mr. Barrymore, even though I figured I'd probably care about that later. Mom was happy too, and Sir Ralph entertained us by brainstorming a book called "Motoring for Experts, by Experts." There were quite a few Rules for Drivers, such as:—
No. 1. Never believe you have got money enough with you when you start. Whatever you think will be right, be sure you will want exactly twice as much.
No. 1. Never think you have enough money with you when you start. No matter what you think is the right amount, just know you will need exactly twice as much.
No. 2. Never suppose you have plenty of time, or plenty of room for your luggage. Never get up in the morning at the time your chauffeur (not Mr. Barrymore, but others) tells you he will have the car ready. Do not leave your bed till the automobile is under your window, and do not pack the things you have used for the night until the chauffeur has started your motor for the third time.
No. 2. Never think you have enough time or enough space for your luggage. Don't get up in the morning at the time your driver (not Mr. Barrymore, but others) says he’ll have the car ready. Stay in bed until the car is outside your window, and don’t pack the things you used overnight until the driver has started the engine for the third time.
No. 3. All invalids, except those suffering from pessimism, may hope to be benefited by motoring; but pessimism in a mild form often becomes fatally exaggerated by experience with automobiles, especially in chauffeurs.
No. 3. All invalids, except those dealing with pessimism, may expect to benefit from driving; however, mild pessimism can often become seriously exaggerated through experiences with cars, particularly for drivers.
No. 4. Hoping that things which have begun to go wrong with a motor will mend, should be like an atheist's definition of faith: "believing what you know isn't true." If you think a bearing is hot, but hope against hope it 's only oil you smell, make up your mind that it is the bearing.
No. 4. Hoping that problems with a motor will fix themselves should be like an atheist's definition of faith: "believing what you know isn't true." If you think a bearing is hot but desperately hope it’s just the smell of oil, accept that it is the bearing.
No. 5. Never dream that you'll get anywhere sooner than you thought you would, for it will always be later; or that a road may improve, for it is sure to grow worse; or that your chauffeur, or anyone you meet, knows anything about the country through which you are to pass, for every one will direct you the wrong way.
No. 5. Never think you'll get to your destination sooner than you expected, because it will always take longer; don't assume the road will get better, because it will definitely get worse; and don't believe that your driver or anyone you encounter knows anything about the area you're traveling through, because everyone will send you in the wrong direction.
No. 6. If your chauffeur tells you that your car will be ready in an hour, it will be three, if not four; if he says that you can start on again that afternoon, it will be to-morrow before lunch.
No. 6. If your driver tells you that your car will be ready in an hour, it’ll actually take three, if not four. If he says you can continue this afternoon, it’ll be tomorrow before lunch.
No. 7. Put not your trust in Princes, nor in the motor-cars of [Pg 157] Princes.
No. 7. Don't put your trust in Princes, nor in the cars of [Pg 157] Princes.
No. 8. Cultivate your bump of presence of mind, and the automobile will see that you have plenty of other bumps.
No. 8. Develop your sense of awareness, and the car will make sure you have plenty of other advantages.
We hadn't got half to the end of the rules we had thought of, when things began to happen. The road, which had been splendid all the way to Asti and beyond, seemed suddenly to weary of virtue and turn eagerly to vice. It grew rutty and rough-tempered, and just because misfortunes never come singly, every creature we met took it into its head to regard us with horror. Fear of us spread like an epidemic through the animal kingdom of the neighbourhood. A horse drawing a wagon-load of earth turned tail, broke his harness as if it had been of cobweb instead of old rope, and sprang lightly as a gazelle with all four feet into another wagon just ahead. A donkey, ambling gently along the road, suddenly made for the opposite side, dragging his fruit-laden cart after him, and smashed our big acetylene lamp into a brass pancake before Mr. Barrymore could stop. Children bawled; women, old and young, ran screaming up embankments and tried to climb walls at the bare sight of us in the distance; old men shook their sticks; and for a climax we plunged deep into a tossing sea of cattle just outside Alessandria.
We hadn't even finished figuring out half of the rules we had in mind when things started to go wrong. The road, which had been great all the way to Asti and beyond, suddenly seemed tired of being nice and turned eagerly toward chaos. It became bumpy and difficult, and since bad luck never comes alone, every creature we encountered looked at us in horror. Fear of us spread like wildfire among the local animals. A horse pulling a cart full of dirt panicked, broke its harness as if it was made of cobwebs instead of old rope, and jumped lightly like a gazelle into another cart right in front of it. A donkey, casually walking down the road, suddenly bolted to the other side, dragging its fruit-filled cart with it and smashed our large acetylene lamp flat before Mr. Barrymore could do anything. Children screamed; women, young and old, ran away screaming up the embankments and tried to climb walls as soon as they caught sight of us in the distance; old men waved their sticks; and to top it all off, we found ourselves deep in a chaotic herd of cattle just outside Alessandria.
It was market day, the Chauffeulier explained hastily, over his shoulder, and the farmers and dealers who had bought creatures of any sort, were taking them away. As far as we could see through a floating cloud of dust, the long road looked like a picture of the animals' procession on their way to the ark. Our automobile might have stood for the ark, only it is to be hoped, for Noah's sake, after all he was doing for them, that the creatures behaved less rudely at sight of it, novelty though it must have been.
It was market day, the Chauffeulier quickly explained over his shoulder, and the farmers and dealers who had bought animals of any kind were taking them away. As far as we could see through a cloud of dust, the long road looked like a scene from an animals' parade on their way to the ark. Our car could have represented the ark, but let’s hope, for Noah's sake, considering all he was doing for them, that the animals behaved less rudely when they saw it, even if it was something new to them.
Great white, classic-looking oxen whose horns ought to have been wreathed with roses, but weren't, pawed the air, bellowing, or pranced down into ditches, pulling their new masters with them. Calves ran here and there like rabbits, while their mothers stood on their hind legs and pirouetted, their biscuit-coloured faces haggard with despair.
Great white, classic-looking oxen whose horns should have been decorated with roses, but weren't, kicked at the air, bellowing, or danced down into ditches, dragging their new owners along. Calves darted around like rabbits, while their mothers stood on their hind legs and spun around, their biscuit-colored faces tired and filled with despair.
[Pg 158] Mamma said that never before had she given cows credit for such sensitive spirits, but perhaps it was only Italian ones which were like that, and if so she would not drink milk in Italy. She was very much frightened, too; and talking of an automobile supplying bumps, her grip on Sir Ralph's arm must have supplied a regular pattern of bruises, during the animal episode.
[Pg 158] Mom said she had never considered cows to have such sensitive souls, but maybe it was just the Italian ones that were like that, and if that's the case, she wouldn't drink milk in Italy. She was also really scared; while talking about how the car was hitting bumps, her grip on Sir Ralph's arm must have left a series of bruises during the animal incident.
But worse than the terrified beasts were the ones that were not terrified. Those were the most stupidly stolid things on earth, or the most splendidly reckless, we couldn't tell which; we knew only that they were irritating enough to have made Job dance with rage, if he had had an automobile. What they did was to wheel round at the sound of our horn, plant themselves squarely in the centre of the road, and stand waiting to see what we were, or else to trot comfortably along, without even taking the trouble to glance over their shoulders. As the road was too narrow for us to pass on either side, with an enormous ox lolling insolently in the middle, refusing to budge an inch, or an absurd cow taking infinite pains to amble precisely in front of the motor's nose, we were frequently forced to crawl for ten or fifteen minutes at the pace of a snail, or to stop altogether and push a large beast out of the way.
But worse than the scared animals were the ones that weren’t scared at all. Those were either the most annoyingly stubborn creatures on earth or the most impressively reckless; we couldn’t tell which. All we knew was that they were irritating enough to make Job dance with anger, if he had had a car. What they did was turn around at the sound of our horn, plant themselves right in the middle of the road, and wait to see what we were, or just trot along comfortably without even bothering to look back. Since the road was too narrow for us to pass on either side, with a huge ox lounging lazily in the middle, refusing to move an inch, or a silly cow taking its sweet time to stroll right in front of the car, we often had to crawl along at a snail’s pace for ten or fifteen minutes or stop completely to push a large animal out of the way.
By the time we got into Alessandria, with its mighty maze of fortifications, I was so weak from laughing that I giggled hysterically at sight of the Prince standing in the doorway of a hotel which we were sailing past. I pointed at him, as Maida had pointed at Vittorio Alfieri's tablet, and Mamma gave a welcome meant to drown my giggle. Mr. Barrymore stopped, and His Highness came to the side of the car.
By the time we arrived in Alessandria, with its impressive maze of fortifications, I was so weak from laughing that I burst into a fit of giggles when I saw the Prince standing in the doorway of a hotel we were passing by. I pointed at him, just like Maida had pointed at Vittorio Alfieri's tablet, and my mom gave a response to try to drown out my laughter. Mr. Barrymore stopped, and His Highness came over to the side of the car.
"I was so sorry to miss you this morning," he said, "but after bidding you au revoir last evening, I suddenly remembered that I had a friend in Alessandria whom I had not seen for long, and it occurred to me that I would pay him a visit. After all, I might have saved myself the pain, as I found that he was away."
"I really regret missing you this morning," he said, "but after saying goodbye to you last night, I suddenly remembered that I had a friend in Alessandria whom I hadn't seen in a while, and I thought I would visit him. In the end, I could have saved myself the trouble since I found out he was away."
"At least you saved yourself the pain of a bad night," said I.
"At least you spared yourself the trouble of a rough night," I said.
"Oh, that would have been nothing," he exclaimed. "Indeed, if there were hardships to be borne, I would have preferred to [Pg 159] share them with you."
"Oh, that would have been nothing," he exclaimed. "Honestly, if there were struggles to go through, I would have chosen to [Pg 159] go through them with you."
I don't know what would have happened at that moment if I'd met Maida's eyes, or Sir Ralph's eyes, or indeed, any eyes on the prowl; but all avoided mine.
I don't know what would have happened at that moment if I'd met Maida's eyes, or Sir Ralph's eyes, or really, any eyes that were watching; but all avoided mine.
The Prince was expecting, or said that he was expecting Joseph to arrive at any instant with the car. Then he would follow us, and as we planned to stop at Pavia and he did not, he would be in Milan before us. We had suffered so many delays at the hands, or rather the hoofs of our four-footed brethren, that we had no time to waste in compliments with irrelevant Princes, so we quickly sped on again as well as the uneven road would allow, leaving behind the big fortified town which Mr. Barrymore said had been built by the Lombard League (whatever that was) as a place of arms to defy the tyranny of the Emperors.
The Prince was anticipating, or claimed he was anticipating, Joseph to show up any minute with the car. Then he would follow us, and since we planned to stop in Pavia and he didn’t, he would get to Milan ahead of us. We had faced so many delays thanks to our four-legged friends that we had no time to waste on pointless conversations with irrelevant Princes, so we quickly continued on as best as the bumpy road would allow, leaving behind the large fortified town which Mr. Barrymore said was built by the Lombard League (whatever that was) as a stronghold to resist the tyrants of the Emperors.
Though the road was poor, except in bits, and gave us all the bumps mentioned in Sir Ralph's rules, the country was lovely and loveable. Grapes, mulberries, rice, and stuff called maize, which looked exactly like our American corn, grew together like a happy family of sisters, and from the hills dotted about, more thickly than Mamma's crowns on her toilet things, looked down old feudal castles as melancholy as the cypresses that stood beside them, like the sole friends of their adversity.
Though the road was rough, except in patches, and gave us all the bumps mentioned in Sir Ralph's rules, the countryside was beautiful and charming. Grapes, mulberries, rice, and something called maize, which looked just like our American corn, grew together like a happy family of sisters, and from the hills scattered around, more densely than Mom's hair accessories on her vanity, old feudal castles looked down, as sad as the cypress trees standing next to them, like the only friends in their loneliness.
Of Tortona and Voghera I carried away only the ghost of an impression, for we darted through their long main streets, deserted in the noon-tide hour, and darted out again onto the straight white ribbon of road that was leading us across all Northern Italy. It was so dusty that Mamma, Maida, and I put on the motor-veils we had discarded after the first few hours of the trip till now; things made of pongee silk, with windows of talc over our eyes and little lace doors for our breath to pass through. It was fun when we would slacken speed in some town or village, to see how the young Italians tried to pry into the motor-masks' secrets and find out if we were pretty. How much more they would have stared at Maida than at her two grey-clad companions, if they had known! But behind the pongee and the talc, for [Pg 160] once our features could flaunt themselves on an equality with hers. Even monks, brown of face and robe, gliding noiselessly through wide market places in the blue shadows of hoary campaniles, searched those talc windows of ours with a curiosity that was pathetic. Young officers, with great dark eyes and slender figures tightly buttoned-up in grey-blue uniforms, visibly preened themselves as the car with the three veiled ladies would sweep round a corner; and really I think there must be something rather alluring about a passing glance from a pair of eyes in a face that will always remain a mystery. If I were a man I believe I should find it so. Anyway, it's fun for a girl to guess how she would feel about things if she were a man. I suppose though, we 're generally wrong.
Of Tortona and Voghera, I took away only a fleeting impression, since we rushed through their long main streets, empty at noon, and quickly continued onto the straight white road that was taking us across all of Northern Italy. It was so dusty that Mom, Maida, and I put on the motor veils we had tossed aside after the first few hours of the trip; they were made of pongee silk, with talc windows for our eyes and little lace openings for us to breathe through. It was amusing when we slowed down in some town or village, to see how the young Italians tried to peek into the motor masks to find out if we were pretty. They would have stared at Maida much more than at her two gray-clad companions if they had known! But behind the pongee and talc, for once our features could stand on equal footing with hers. Even the brown-faced monks in their robes, gliding silently through wide market squares in the blue shadows of ancient bell towers, looked through those talc windows of ours with a curiosity that was almost sad. Young officers, with striking dark eyes and slender figures buttoned snugly in gray-blue uniforms, visibly preened when the car with the three veiled ladies turned the corner; I genuinely think there’s something quite enticing about a brief look from eyes in a face that remains a mystery. If I were a man, I believe I would feel the same way. Anyway, it's fun for a girl to imagine how she would react to things if she were a man. I suppose, though, we’re usually wrong.
After we 'd frightened enough horses and other domestic animals to overstock the whole of Northern Italy and felt quite old in consequence (considerably over thirteen), a sweet peace fell suddenly upon us. We had passed the place where Napoleon's great battle was fought, and Voghera, where we might have stopped to see the baths but didn't, because we were all too hungry to be sincerely interested in anything absolutely unconnected with meals. Then turning towards Pavia, we turned at the same moment into Arcadia. There were no more beasts in our path, unless it was a squirrel or two; there were no houses, no people; there was only quiet country, with a narrow but deliciously smooth road, colonies of chestnut and acacia trees, and tall growths of scented grasses and blossoming grain. It was more like a by-path through meadows than an important road leading to a great town, and Mr. Barrymore had begun to wonder aloud if he could possibly have made a mistake at some cross-way, when we spun round a corner, and saw before us a wide yellow river. It lay straight in front, and we had to pass to the other side on the oddest bridge I ever saw; just old grey planks laid close together on top of a long, long line of big black boats that moved up and down with a lazy motion as the golden water of the Po flowed underneath.
After we had scared enough horses and other farm animals to overcrowd all of Northern Italy and felt pretty old as a result (definitely over thirteen), a nice calm settled over us. We had passed the spot where Napoleon fought his famous battle and Voghera, where we could have stopped to check out the baths but didn’t, since we were all too hungry to care about anything unrelated to food. Then, as we headed towards Pavia, we suddenly entered Arcadia. There were no more animals in our way, except for maybe a squirrel or two; there were no buildings, no people; just peaceful countryside, with a narrow but incredibly smooth road, clusters of chestnut and acacia trees, and tall patches of fragrant grass and blooming grain. It felt more like a path through meadows than a major road leading to a big city, and Mr. Barrymore started to question whether he had made a wrong turn somewhere when we rounded a corner and saw a wide yellow river in front of us. It stretched straight ahead, and we had to cross to the other side on the strangest bridge I’d ever seen—just old grey planks closely laid on top of a long line of large black boats that rocked gently as the golden waters of the Po flowed beneath.
[Pg 161] "This is a famous bridge," said the Chauffeulier; so Mamma hurried to get out her camera and take a picture, while we picked our way daintily over the wobbly boards at a foot pace; and another of the man at the far end, who made us pay toll—so much for each wheel, so much for each passenger. Maida never takes photographs. She says she likes better just to keep a picture-gallery in her brain. Mamma always takes them, but as she usually has three or four on the same film, making a jumble of Chicago street-cars with Italian faces, legs, and sun-dials, as intricate as an Irish stew, I don't see that in the end they will be much of an ornament to the journal of travel we're all keeping.
[Pg 161] "This is a famous bridge," the driver said, so Mom quickly grabbed her camera to snap a picture while we carefully made our way over the shaky boards at a crawl. Then we took another shot of the guy at the other end who charged us a toll—so much for each wheel, and so much for each passenger. Maida never takes photos. She says she prefers to keep a gallery in her mind. Mom always takes them, but since she usually has three or four on the same roll, mixing photos of Chicago streetcars with Italian faces, legs, and sun-dials, as complicated as an Irish stew, I don't think they'll really add much to the travel journal we're all keeping.
"This is where the Po and the Ticino meet, so we're near Pavia," Mr. Barrymore told us; and if our eyes brightened behind our masks, it wasn't so much with interest in his information, as at the thought of lunch. For we were to lunch at Pavia, before seeing the Certosa that Maida had been talking about for hours with the Chauffeulier; and before us, as we crossed the Ticino—bridged by a dear, old, arching, wooden-roofed thing supported with a hundred granite columns—bubbled and soared a group of grey domes and campaniles against a turquoise sky.
"This is where the Po and the Ticino come together, so we’re close to Pavia," Mr. Barrymore told us. And if our eyes lit up behind our masks, it wasn’t just from the interest in what he had to say, but mostly at the thought of lunch. We were going to have lunch in Pavia before checking out the Certosa that Maida had been talking about for hours with the Chauffeulier. As we crossed the Ticino—over a charming, old wooden bridge supported by a hundred granite columns—we saw a cluster of grey domes and bell towers rising against a bright turquoise sky.
The roofed bridge, that seemed to be a lounging place and promenade, led into a stately city, which impressed me as a regular factory for turning out Italian history, so old it was, and so conscious, in a dignified kind of way, of its own impressiveness. I felt sure that, if I could only remember, I must have studied heaps of things about this place at school; and the town was full of students who were probably studying them, with more profit, now. They were very Italian, very good-looking, very young youths, indeed; and they were all so interested in us that it seemed ungrateful not to pay more attention to them than to their background. They grouped round our automobile with a crowd of less interesting people, when we had stopped before a hotel, and some of the students came so close in the hope of seeing what was behind the motor-veils, that Maida was embarrassed, and [Pg 162] Mamma and I pretended to be.
The covered bridge, which felt like a hangout and a walk, led into a grand city that struck me as a factory for producing Italian history, so ancient it was, and so aware, in a dignified way, of its own significance. I was certain that, if I could just remember, I must have learned a lot about this place in school; and the town was full of students who were probably studying it more effectively now. They were very Italian, very attractive, very young guys, for sure; and they were all so interested in us that it seemed rude not to pay more attention to them than to their surroundings. They gathered around our car with a crowd of less interesting people when we stopped in front of a hotel, and some of the students got so close, hoping to peek behind the motor covers, that Maida felt awkward, and Mamma and I pretended to feel the same. [Pg 162]
XIV
A CHAPTER OF SUNSHINE AND SHADOW
Mamma's lunch was spoiled because, in pronouncing "campanile" for the first time, she rhymed it with the river Nile, and realized what she had done when some one else soon after inadvertently said it in the right way. She didn't get over this for a long time, so the landlord profited, and must have been pleased, as all the Italians at the table d'hôte took twice of everything. Those who were not officers were middle-aged men with fat smiles which made them look like what I call "drummers," and Sir Ralph wastes time in naming commercial travellers. He and Mr. Barrymore explained that, at all these quiet provincial hotels with their domed roofs and painted ceilings, their long tables and great flasks of wine hung in metal slings, more than half the customers come every day to eat steadily through cheap monthly subscriptions.
Mamma's lunch was ruined because, when she said "campanile" for the first time, she rhymed it with the river Nile. She only realized her mistake after someone else said it correctly shortly afterward. She didn’t get over this for a long time, so the landlord benefited and must have been happy, as all the Italians at the table d'hôte took double portions of everything. Those who weren’t officers were middle-aged men with wide smiles that made them look like what I would call "drummers," and Sir Ralph wastes time naming commercial travelers. He and Mr. Barrymore explained that, at these quiet provincial hotels with their domed roofs and painted ceilings, their long tables, and large flasks of wine hung in metal slings, over half the customers come every day to eat steadily through cheap monthly subscriptions.
"They can live like fighting cocks for next to nothing," said Sir Ralph. "If The Riviera Sun ever suffers an eclipse, I shall probably end my days in a place like this, Pavia for choice, because then I can make my friends at home believe that I live here to worship the Certosa."
"They can live like fighting cocks for next to nothing," said Sir Ralph. "If The Riviera Sun ever goes under, I’ll probably spend my final days somewhere like this, preferably Pavia, so I can convince my friends back home that I’m living here to admire the Certosa."
Now to make up for her slip about the campanile, Mamma began to talk about the Certosa as if it were an intimate friend of hers; but though she hurried to get out the word while Sir Ralph's pronunciation of it still echoed under the painted dome, her first syllable was shaped so much like a "Shirt" that I had to take a drink of water quickly. It is a funny thing, if people have [Pg 163] no ear for music, and can't tell one tune from another, they don't seem to hear foreign words rightly, and so, when they speak, their pronunciation is like "Yankee Doodle" disguised as "God Save the King." It is that way with Mamma; but luckily for me, Papa had an Ear.
Now to make up for her mistake about the campanile, Mom started talking about the Certosa as if it were an old friend; but even though she rushed to say it while Sir Ralph's pronunciation still echoed under the painted dome, her first syllable sounded so much like "Shirt" that I had to quickly take a sip of water. It’s funny how, if people have no ear for music and can't tell one tune from another, they don’t seem to hear foreign words correctly, so when they speak, their pronunciation ends up like "Yankee Doodle" disguised as "God Save the King." It’s like that with Mom, but thankfully, Dad had an ear.
We had to pass through "Pavia of the Hundred Towers" after a look at the grand old Castello, and go out into Arcadian country again to reach the Certosa. Our way lay northward now instead of east, beside a canal bright as crystal, and blue as sapphire because it was a mirror for the sky. Then, we turned abruptly down a little side road, which looked as if it led nowhere in particular, and suddenly a wonderful thing loomed up before us.
We had to go through "Pavia of the Hundred Towers" after checking out the impressive old castle and head back into the picturesque countryside to reach the Certosa. Now, our path took us north instead of east, alongside a canal as clear as crystal and as blue as sapphire because it reflected the sky. Then, we took a sharp turn down a small side road that seemed to lead nowhere in particular, and suddenly a fantastic sight appeared before us.
I don't know much about churches, but there are some things which one is born knowing, I suppose; such as the difference between really great things and those that don't touch greatness. One wouldn't need to be told by a guide-book that the Certosa of Pavia is great—as great as anything ever made, perhaps. Even "little Beechy Kidder" felt that at first glance; and then—there was nothing to say. It was too beautiful to chatter about. But it did seem strange that so pure and lovely a building could have owed its existence to a crime. I had heard Mr. Barrymore telling Mamma that it was originally founded in thirteen hundred and something, by the first Duke of Milan with the view of taking off the attention of Heaven from a murder he had committed—quite in his own family—which got rid of his father-in-law, and all the father-in-law's sons and daughters at the same time. No wonder it took a whole Certosa to atone for it, with statues of the founder dotted about, presenting models of the church to the Virgin; or praying with clasped hands; or having his funeral procession in great pomp. But I didn't like his face; and judging from its expression, I shouldn't be surprised if he were glad the Certosa had been taken away from the monks to be made a national monument, so that more people could glorify him. It wasn't until I had seen a great many other things, however, [Pg 164] that I made acquaintance with his Dukeship Gian Galeazzo Visconti (it is always easy to remember wicked peoples' names), for at first sight there was only the wonderful gateway, with a glimpse of the dazzling marble church, a splendid great dome, and some bewildering towers glittering in the sun.
I don't know much about churches, but I guess some things are just known instinctively, like the difference between truly remarkable things and those that aren't so special. You wouldn't need a guidebook to tell you that the Certosa of Pavia is amazing—maybe as impressive as anything ever built. Even "little Beechy Kidder" sensed that the moment she saw it; and then—there was nothing to say. It was too beautiful for small talk. But it was odd that such a pure and stunning building came about because of a crime. I heard Mr. Barrymore telling Mom that it was originally founded in the early 1300s by the first Duke of Milan, who wanted to distract Heaven from a murder he committed—within his own family—that got rid of his father-in-law and all of his father-in-law's kids at once. No wonder it took a whole Certosa to make up for that, with statues of the founder scattered around, showing models of the church to the Virgin, or praying with clasped hands, or having his funeral procession in grand style. But I didn’t like his face; and judging by its expression, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was glad the Certosa was taken from the monks and turned into a national monument, so more people could praise him. It wasn't until I had seen a lot of other things, however, [Pg 164] that I became familiar with his Dukeship Gian Galeazzo Visconti (it's always easy to remember the names of wicked people), because at first, there was just the stunning gateway, with a glimpse of the dazzling marble church, a huge dome, and some amazing towers sparkling in the sunlight.
Mr. Barrymore hired a youth to guard the automobile and the dog while we went in, strange figures for such a place, in our motoring get-up. I didn't know before what exquisite stuff terra-cotta could be, but had despised it in America as the thing cheap statuettes are made of. Now, when I saw it mellowed by centuries, combined with marble, and moulded into arches and cornices, and a thousand marvellous ornamentations, I made up my mind that I would never have a house of my own unless it could have terra-cotta window and door-frames, and chimneys, and everything else besides that could possibly be made of terra-cotta.
Mr. Barrymore hired a young guy to watch the car and the dog while we went inside, looking pretty out of place in our driving outfits. I had never realized before how beautiful terra-cotta could be; I’d only dismissed it in America as the material for cheap figurines. But now, seeing it softened by centuries, mixed with marble, and shaped into arches and cornices, along with a thousand amazing decorations, I decided I wouldn’t want to own a house unless it had terra-cotta window and door frames, chimneys, and everything else that could possibly be made from terra-cotta.
But the cloisters, great and small, were better than anything else; better than the façade; better than the marble church, with all the lovely little side chapels; better than anything I ever saw; and I walked about alone, pleased with myself because, in spite of my ignorance, I had enough sense of appreciation to be happy. Still, I wasn't sorry when Sir Ralph left Mamma listening with Maida, to things Mr. Barrymore was saying about moulded brick and terra-cotta architecture in North Italy, to join me.
But the cloisters, big and small, were better than anything else; better than the façade; better than the marble church with all its beautiful little side chapels; better than anything I had ever seen; and I walked around by myself, feeling proud because, despite my lack of knowledge, I had enough appreciation to be happy. Still, I wasn't upset when Sir Ralph left Mom listening with Maida to what Mr. Barrymore was saying about molded brick and terra-cotta architecture in Northern Italy to come join me.
"Terry says there's something in the world more beautiful than this," he remarked.
"Terry says there's something in the world that's more beautiful than this," he said.
"I suppose he's thinking of Maida," said I.
"I guess he's thinking about Maida," I said.
"Not at all. Probably, if you could see into his mind you'd discover that he's wishing you hadn't wandered away from his orations. The thing which he considers more beautiful is the cloister of Monreale, at Palermo, in Sicily. But, then, this isn't the part of Italy Terry loves best. He won't begin to shine till he gets to Verona; and even Verona he calls only a charming inn where the world's great travellers have left mementoes of their passage, rather than a true Italian town stamped with the divine genius of Italy. When he's at Venice, he'll be at home. You'll like Terry [Pg 165] in Venice."
"Not at all. If you could see into his mind, you'd find that he's wishing you hadn't stepped away from his speeches. What he finds more beautiful is the cloister of Monreale in Palermo, Sicily. But this isn't the part of Italy that Terry loves the most. He won't really come alive until he reaches Verona; and even there, he only thinks of it as a lovely inn where the world’s great travelers have left reminders of their visit, rather than a true Italian town marked by Italy's divine genius. When he's in Venice, he'll feel right at home. You'll enjoy Terry in Venice."
"The question is, will he like me in Venice?" I asked, looking out of the corner of my eye at the tall Chauffeulier in his leather-coat, showing a heavenly white marble doorway to Maida, and Mamma.
"The question is, will he like me in Venice?" I asked, glancing at the tall chauffeur in his leather coat, pointing out a stunning white marble doorway to Maida and Mom.
"Of course he will. You mustn't be discouraged by his manner. If only he thought you were poor!"
"Of course he will. Don't let his attitude get you down. If only he realized you were broke!"
"Shall I intimate to him that Maida is very rich?"
"Should I hint to him that Maida is very wealthy?"
"No, no. I wouldn't deceive him about that. Let well alone. All will come right in time."
"No, no. I wouldn't lie to him about that. Just leave it be. Everything will be okay in time."
"Meanwhile, I suppose I must put up with you?"
"Well, I guess I have to deal with you?"
"If you can. Unless I bore you. Would you rather I left you alone?"
"If you can. Unless I’m boring you. Would you rather I just leave you alone?"
"No-o. There's just enough of you to fill an aching void," said I, pertly. But he didn't seem to mind at all, and was very kind in telling about frescoes and things, although he calls himself ignorant. He has forgotten the boast in his advertisement perhaps, or he's trying to live up to it as well as he can when his chauffeur isn't available.
"Nope. You’re just enough to fill an empty space," I said cheekily. But he didn’t seem to care at all and was really nice while talking about frescoes and stuff, even though he claims to be ignorant. Maybe he forgot the brag he made in his ad, or he’s just trying to live up to it as best as he can when his chauffeur isn’t around.
We stopped so long at the Certosa that the sun had gone far down the west as we walked through the beautiful, strange gateway to the roadside resting-place of our car.
We stayed at the Certosa for so long that the sun had set far in the west by the time we walked through the beautiful, unusual gateway to the roadside resting place of our car.
Where crowds come from in the country is as mysterious as where pins and hairpins go to; but anyhow, there was a wide ring of people round the automobile, in which our hired caretaker sat gazing condescendingly on the throng. When we arrived on the scene, with our hands full of scents made and bottled by the banished monks, quaint pottery, and photographs of frescoes, general interest was transferred to us, but only for a moment. Even Maida's beauty failed as an attraction beside the starting-handle of the car, when the Chauffeulier turned it.
Where the crowds come from in the country is as mysterious as where pins and hairpins disappear to; but anyway, there was a large group of people around the car, where our hired caretaker sat, looking down on the crowd. When we got there, with our hands full of perfumes made and bottled by the exiled monks, unique pottery, and photos of frescoes, everyone’s interest shifted to us, but only for a moment. Even Maida's beauty couldn't compete with the starting handle of the car when the driver turned it.
"Don't you see many motors here?" asked Sir Ralph of our deposed guard, and he shook his head. "Not one a month," he said, "though they say that some of the rich men in Milan use them. I do not know where they go."
"Don't you see a lot of motors here?" asked Sir Ralph of our dismissed guard, and he shook his head. "Not even one a month," he said, "though they say that some of the wealthy men in Milan use them. I don't know where they go."
[Pg 166] Almost as he spoke a big one shot by, heading for Alessandria and—who knows but for Cuneo? When we came to think, it was the first we had seen since Ventimiglia, though on the French side of the Riviera the things had been a pest to everybody—who hadn't one.
[Pg 166] Just as he finished speaking, a large one zoomed past, heading for Alessandria and—who knows, maybe even Cuneo? When we thought about it, it was the first we had seen since Ventimiglia, although on the French side of the Riviera, they had been a nuisance to everyone—who didn’t have one?
As we started, the sinking sun turned a million tiny clouds floating up from behind the world into rose-pink marabout feathers, which by-and-by were silvered round their curly edges by a wonderful light kindled somewhere in the east. It grew brighter and brighter as the rose-coloured plumes first took fire down at the western horizon, and then burned to ruddy ashes. When half the sky was silver up came floating a huge pearl, glistening white, and flattened out of the perfect round on one side, like two or three of the biggest pearls on Mamma's long rope.
As we began, the setting sun transformed a million tiny clouds drifting up from the horizon into rose-pink marabou feathers, which soon had their curly edges rimmed with a beautiful light ignited somewhere in the east. It became brighter and brighter as the pink plumes first flared up at the western horizon, then turned to reddish ashes. When half the sky was silver, a massive pearl appeared, shining white, and slightly flattened on one side, like two or three of the biggest pearls on Mom's long necklace.
Even in America I never saw the sunset-glow so quickly quenched by a white torrent of moonlight. But on this night it was not white; it was soft and creamy, like mother-of-pearl. And as the opal gleam of the sky darkened to deep amethyst the stars came out clear and sparkling and curiously distinct one from the other, like great hanging lamps of silver, diamond-crusted.
Even in America, I had never seen the sunset glow disappear so quickly under a rush of moonlight. But on this night, it wasn't white; it was soft and creamy, like mother-of-pearl. As the opal shine of the sky darkened to a deep amethyst, the stars emerged bright and sparkling, distinctly different from one another, like large hanging lamps of silver, adorned with diamonds.
All the world was bathed in this creamy light, while the sky scintillated with jewels like the flashing of a spangled fan, as we drove into the outskirts of Milan.
All the world was soaked in this creamy light, while the sky sparkled with jewels like a shimmering fan, as we drove into the outskirts of Milan.
It had been lucky for us that there was a moon, as we had a crumpled brass waffle in the place of our big lamp; but the effect of the town lights, orange-yellow mingling with the white radiance pouring down from the sky, was wonderful and mysterious on arched gateways, on dark façades of tall buildings, on statues, on columns, on fountains. Coming in out of the country stillness, the noise and rush of the big city seemed appalling. Fierce electric trams dashed clanging and flashing in all directions, making a pandemonium worse than Chicago or the streets of Paris. Horses and carts darted across the glittering tracks under our noses, bicyclists spun between our car and lumbering hotel omnibuses, and hadn't an inch to spare. In the middle of one huge street [Pg 167] was something that looked like a Roman ruin, with every shadow sharp as a point of jet in the confused blending of light. Brazen bells boomed, mellow chimes fluted, church clocks mingled their voices, each trying to tell the hour first; and to add to the bewildering effect of our entry, drivers and people on foot waved their arms, yelling wildly something I couldn't understand.
It was fortunate for us that there was a moon since we had a crumpled brass lamp instead of a proper one; but the mix of the town lights—orange-yellow blending with the white glow from the sky—was amazing and mysterious on the arched gateways, dark façades of tall buildings, statues, columns, and fountains. Coming in from the quiet countryside, the noise and chaos of the big city felt overwhelming. Intense electric trams zoomed by, clanging and flashing in every direction, creating a racket that was worse than Chicago or the streets of Paris. Horses and carts rushed across the bright tracks right in front of us, bicyclists darted between our vehicle and heavy hotel buses, with barely any space to spare. In the middle of one massive street [Pg 167] stood something that looked like a Roman ruin, with every shadow sharp as a point of jet in the confusing mix of light. Loud bells rang, soft chimes sounded, and church clocks blended their voices, all trying to announce the hour first; and to add to the disorienting effect of our arrival, drivers and pedestrians waved their arms, shouting wildly things I couldn't make out.
Mr. Barrymore understood, however, and only just in time to save an accident, for it seemed that we were on the wrong side of the road. Suddenly and arbitrarily it was the rule to keep on the left side instead of the right, and the Chauffeulier shot across before a tram, approaching at the speed of a train, could run us down.
Mr. Barrymore understood, though just in time to prevent an accident, because it seemed we were on the wrong side of the road. Suddenly and for no clear reason, the rule was to keep to the left side instead of the right, and the driver swerved across before a tram, moving like a train, could hit us.
"That's the worst of this part of Italy," I heard him shout over the din to Maida. "Any town that chooses makes a different rule for itself and its suburbs, and then expects strangers to know by instinct just where and when it changes."
"That's the worst part of this place in Italy," I heard him shout over the noise to Maida. "Any town can set its own rules for itself and its neighborhoods, and then expects visitors to just know when and where those rules change."
It was like being shot out of a catapult from the Inferno straight to Paradise, as Sir Ralph said, when suddenly we saved ourselves from the hurly-burly, flashing into a noble square with room for a thousand street-cars and as many automobiles to browse together in peace and harmony.
It was like being launched from the depths of hell straight to heaven, as Sir Ralph put it, when we suddenly escaped the chaos, arriving in a grand square spacious enough for a thousand streetcars and just as many cars to coexist peacefully.
A mass of glimmering white towers and pinnacles, the Cathedral rose, a miracle of beauty in the flood of moonlight that turned grey into white, old marble into snow, and gave to each of the myriad carvings the lace-like delicacy of frost-work.
A mass of shining white towers and peaks, the Cathedral rose, a stunning beauty in the glow of moonlight that transformed gray into white, old marble into snow, and gave each of the countless carvings a delicate, frost-like texture.
"I wanted you to see the Duomo first by moonlight," said Mr. Barrymore, after we had sat still, gazing up for some moments, with even the car motionless and silent. "To-morrow morning you can come again for the detail, and spend as much time as you like inside, for I hope it won't take us many hours to run to Bellagio; but you will never forget to-night's impression."
"I wanted you to see the Duomo first by moonlight," Mr. Barrymore said after we had sat quietly, looking up for a little while, with the car completely still and silent. "Tomorrow morning you can come back for the details and take as long as you want inside, because I hope it won’t take us too long to get to Bellagio; but you’ll never forget tonight’s impression."
"I shall never forget anything that has happened, or that we've seen on this trip," Maida answered, in a voice that told me how much she felt her words. But if she had anything more to say the motor impolitely drowned it, and we were whirled away [Pg 168] again via pandemonium, to quite a grand hotel.
"I'll never forget anything that's happened or what we've seen on this trip," Maida responded, her tone revealing how deeply she felt about it. But if she had more to say, the engine rudely drowned it out, and we were swept away [Pg 168] once more through chaos, heading to a rather fancy hotel.
The first person we met in a big, square hall full of wicker chairs and tables, was Prince Dalmar-Kalm, in evening dress, looking as calm as if he had never heard of an automobile. He flung agreeable smiles at Maida and me, but his real welcome was for his "chère Comtesse," and she was delighted, poor dear, to be made much of at the expense of two girls, one a beauty.
The first person we encountered in a large, square hall filled with wicker chairs and tables was Prince Dalmar-Kalm, dressed for the evening and appearing as composed as if he had never heard of a car. He threw cheerful smiles at Maida and me, but his genuine greeting was for his "dear Countess," who was thrilled, poor thing, to be the center of attention, even at the expense of two girls, one of whom was quite beautiful.
"I arrived over an hour ago," he said, "very dusty, a little tired, a good deal hungry; but, of course, I would not have dreamed of dining without you."
"I got here over an hour ago," he said, "pretty dusty, a bit tired, and really hungry; but, of course, I would never think of having dinner without you."
"Did you get in on the car, or on the cars, this time?" I asked.
"Did you get in on the car, or on the cars, this time?" I asked.
"But certainly in the car," said he, reproachfully. "Joseph met me at Alessandria early in the afternoon, and once started, we went as the wind goes—a splendid pace, without a single breakdown. I passed your automobile at Pavia, and thought of joining you at the Certosa, where you no doubt were at the time; but I decided that it would be more satisfactory to keep on and greet you here. I knew you would take my advice, as you promised, Comtesse, and come to this hotel, so I ventured to have my place laid at your table and order a few extras which I thought you would like. Have pity, I beg, on a starving man, and make yourselves ready in twenty minutes."
"But definitely in the car," he said, with a hint of accusation. "Joseph picked me up in Alessandria early this afternoon, and once we got going, we flew—at an amazing speed, without a single breakdown. I saw your car in Pavia and considered joining you at the Certosa, where I’m sure you were at the time; but I thought it would be better to continue on and meet you here. I knew you would follow my advice, as you promised, Comtesse, and come to this hotel, so I took the liberty of having a place set for you at my table and ordered a few extra things I thought you’d enjoy. Please, have mercy on a starving man and get ready in twenty minutes."
"But Mr. Barrymore can't join us then," Maida objected to Mamma, in a low voice. "He has the car to look after before he can dress, and after the good day he has given us wouldn't it be ungrateful to begin without him?"
"But Mr. Barrymore can’t join us then," Maida said to Mamma in a quiet voice. "He has the car to take care of before he can get ready, and after the nice day he’s given us, wouldn’t it be rude to start without him?"
"My dear girl, when all's said and done, he is the chauffeur," replied Mamma, at her worst under His Highness's influence. "It would be a pretty thing if we were to keep the Prince waiting for him. You can come down later if you like."
"My dear girl, when everything is settled, he is the chauffeur," replied Mom, at her worst under His Highness's influence. "It would be ridiculous if we kept the Prince waiting for him. You can come downstairs later if you want."
"Very well, I will," said Maida, very pink as to her cheeks and bright as to her eyes. I didn't think she would dare keep her word, for fear Mr. Barrymore might believe she cared too much about him; but just because he's poor and she imagines he is snubbed, she will do anything. Everybody except the Chauffeulier [Pg 169] had been at table for a quarter of an hour, and hors d'œuvres and soup, and fish, had given place to beef, when Maida came in, dressed in white, and looking beautiful. As she appeared at one door Mr. Barrymore appeared at another, and was just in time to pull out her chair instead of letting the waiter do it.
"Alright, I will," said Maida, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling. I didn't think she'd actually go through with it, worried that Mr. Barrymore might think she cared too much about him; but just because he's poor and she believes he's looked down on, she'd do anything. Everyone except the Chauffeulier [Pg 169] had been at the table for a quarter of an hour, and the hors d'œuvres and soup, followed by fish, had been replaced by beef when Maida walked in, dressed in white and looking stunning. As she entered through one door, Mr. Barrymore came in through another, just in time to pull out her chair rather than letting the waiter do it.
The Chauffeulier, seeing we had ploughed through half the menu, wouldn't have bothered with soup or fish, but Maida insisted on having both, piping hot too, though she never cares what she eats; so the belated one got as good a dinner as anybody. Whether he realized that Maida had waited for him I don't know, but he was so unusually talkative and full of fun that I longed to "vipe" somebody, feeling as I did that his cheerfulness was due to Maida's kindness. Unfortunately there was no excuse for viping; but I suddenly thought how I could throw a little cold water. "Have you noticed, Mr. Barrymore," I asked, "that my cousin Maida never wears anything except black, or grey, or white?"
The Chauffeulier, noticing we had made it through half the menu, wouldn’t have bothered with soup or fish, but Maida insisted on having both, served piping hot too, even though she never cares about what she eats; so the latecomer ended up with a dinner as good as anyone else’s. I’m not sure if he realized that Maida had waited for him, but he was unusually chatty and fun, which made me want to “vibe” with someone, feeling that his happiness was because of Maida’s kindness. Unfortunately, there was no reason to vibe; but then I suddenly thought of how I could throw a little cold water on the situation. “Have you noticed, Mr. Barrymore,” I asked, “that my cousin Maida only wears black, grey, or white?”
He looked at her. "Yes, I have noticed," he said, with an expression in his eyes which added that he'd noticed everything concerning her. "But then," he went on, "I haven't had time to see her whole wardrobe."
He looked at her. "Yeah, I've noticed," he said, with a look in his eyes that made it clear he’d noticed everything about her. "But then," he continued, "I haven't had the chance to see all of her outfits."
"If you had, it would be the same," said I. "It's a pity, I think, for blue and pink and pale green, and a lot of other things would be so becoming. But she's got an idea into her head that because, when she goes back home a few months from now, she will enter that old con—"
"If you had, it would be the same," I said. "It's a shame, I think, because blue, pink, pale green, and a bunch of other colors would look great. But she has this idea that when she goes back home in a few months, she will enter that old con—"
"Beechy, please!" broke in Maida, her face almost as pink as an American Beauty rose.
"Beechy, please!" interrupted Maida, her face nearly as pink as an American Beauty rose.
"Well you are going to, aren't you?" I flew out at her. "Or have you changed your mind—already?"
"Well, you are going to, right?" I shot at her. "Or have you already changed your mind?"
"I think you are very unkind," she said, in a low voice, turning white instead of red, and Mr. Barrymore bit his lip, looking as if he would rather shake me than eat his dinner. Then all at once I was dreadfully sorry for hurting Maida, partly because Mr. Barrymore glared, partly because she is an angel; but I would have [Pg 170] died in agony sooner than say so, or show that I cared, though I had such a lump in my throat I could scarcely swallow. Of course everybody thought I had turned sulky, for I shrugged my shoulders and pouted, and didn't speak another word. By and by I really did begin to sulk, because if one puts on a certain expression of face, after a while one finds thoughts that match it stealing into one's mind. I grew so cross with myself and the whole party, that when Mamma said she was tired and headachy, and would go to our sitting-room if Maida didn't object, I determined that whatever happened those two shouldn't have the satisfaction of a tête-à-tête.
"I think you're really unkind," she said in a quiet voice, turning pale instead of blushing, and Mr. Barrymore bit his lip, looking like he would rather confront me than have his dinner. Suddenly, I felt awful for hurting Maida, partly because Mr. Barrymore was glaring and partly because she’s such a sweetheart; but I would have rather suffered than admit it or show that I cared, even though I had such a lump in my throat that I could barely swallow. Of course, everyone thought I was just sulking, since I shrugged my shoulders and pouted and didn't say another word. After a while, I really did start to sulk, because if you hold a certain expression long enough, the matching thoughts start creeping into your mind. I became so annoyed with myself and the whole group that when Mom said she was tired and had a headache and wanted to go to our sitting room if Maida didn't mind, I decided that no matter what happened, those two shouldn’t have the chance for a tête-à-tête.
Every one had finished except Maida and the Chauffeulier, who had only got as far as the chicken and salad stage; and when Mamma proposed going, a look came over the Prince's face which I translated to myself as, "Rien à faire ici." Since our talk in the garden at San Dalmazzo, he has given himself no more trouble for Maida or me; all is for Mamma, at least, when she is present; so I wasn't surprised when he said that he had several telegrams to send off, and would excuse himself.
Everyone had finished except Maida and the chauffeur, who were still on their chicken and salad. When Mom suggested that it was time to leave, the Prince's expression changed, and I interpreted it as, "Nothing to do here." Since our conversation in the garden at San Dalmazzo, he hasn't bothered with Maida or me anymore; it’s all about Mom, at least when she's around. So, I wasn't surprised when he said he had several telegrams to send and would excuse himself.
"But about to-morrow," he exclaimed, pausing when he had risen. "Shall you stop to see the Cathedral, and something of Milan by daylight, before going on to the Lake of Como?"
"But what about tomorrow?" he exclaimed, pausing after he stood up. "Are you going to check out the Cathedral and see a bit of Milan in the daylight before heading to Lake Como?"
"Oh, yes," Maida answered. "Mr. Barrymore says we shall have plenty of time."
"Oh, yes," Maida replied. "Mr. Barrymore says we’ll have plenty of time."
"He is quite right," replied the Prince so graciously that I instantly asked myself what little game he was playing now. "It is not far from here to Bellagio, where you intend to stop. You will go, of course, by way of the Brianza?" (This to the Chauffeulier.)
"He’s absolutely right," the Prince replied so graciously that I immediately wondered what little game he was playing this time. "It’s not far from here to Bellagio, where you plan to stay. You’ll be going, of course, through the Brianza?" (This was directed at the Chauffeulier.)
"I suppose we must," answered Mr. Barrymore. "I don't know anything at first-hand about the road, but at the garage they tell me motors occasionally do it. The gradients are steep according to the route-book, but unless there's something worse than meets the eye there, our car will get through all right."
"I guess we have to," replied Mr. Barrymore. "I don’t have any firsthand experience with the road, but the garage says cars sometimes manage it. The slopes are steep according to the route book, but unless there’s something more serious than it looks, our car should make it through just fine."
"I have already driven over the whole length of that road," said the Prince. "Not en automobile, but, no doubt, what a couple [Pg 171] of horses can do, your twelve horse-power car can do better. As for me, I have been in Milan many a time, and its sights are an old story. I will therefore go on early to-morrow morning, leaving your party to follow; for I have acquaintances who live in a charming villa near Bellagio—the Duke and Duchess of Gravellotti—and I wish to ask them as soon as possible to call on the Countess."
"I've already driven the entire length of that road," said the Prince. "Not in a car, but I'm sure what a couple of horses can do, your twelve-horsepower car can do even better. As for me, I've been to Milan many times, and its sights are nothing new. So, I'll head out early tomorrow morning, leaving your group to catch up; I have friends who live in a lovely villa near Bellagio—the Duke and Duchess of Gravellotti—and I want to ask them to reach out to the Countess as soon as possible."
Mamma was delighted at the prospect of receiving a call from a real, live Duke and Duchess, so she shed rays of gratitude upon the Prince, and trotted out both her dimples.
Mamma was thrilled at the idea of getting a call from an actual Duke and Duchess, so she beamed with gratitude at the Prince and showed off her dimples.
"Come, Beechy," she said. "We'll go now, as Maida doesn't mind."
"Come on, Beechy," she said. "Let's go now since Maida doesn't care."
"I haven't finished my nuts and raisins, and I want some of those marrons glacés afterwards," said I. "I'll stay and eat them, and chaperon Maida. I guess she needs it more than you, Mamma, though you're both an awful responsibility for me."
"I haven't finished my nuts and raisins, and I want some of those marrons glacés afterward," I said. "I'll stay and eat them, and look after Maida. I think she needs it more than you, Mom, even though you both are a huge responsibility for me."
That sent Mamma away with a vexed rustle of three separate layers of silk. The Prince walked after her, just far enough behind not to step on her train (he isn't the kind of man who would ever tear a woman's dress, though he might pull her reputation to pieces), and Maida, Mr. Barrymore, Sir Ralph, and I were left together.
That made Mom leave with an annoyed swish of her three layers of silk. The Prince followed her, keeping just enough distance to avoid stepping on her train (he’s not the type of guy who would ever rip a woman's dress, even though he might ruin her reputation), and Maida, Mr. Barrymore, Sir Ralph, and I were left together.
Both men had jumped up when Mamma rose, but they sat down again when she had turned her back, the Chauffeulier (presumably) to finish his dinner, Sir Ralph to keep me in countenance. But there was no more gaiety. My douche of cold water had quenched Mr. Barrymore's Irish spirits, and Maida was depressed. I was the "spoil-sport;" but I "stuck it out," as Sir Ralph would have said, to the bitter end.
Both men jumped up when Mamma stood up, but they sat back down when she turned away. The Chauffeulier (I assume) went back to finish his dinner, while Sir Ralph stayed to support me. But the fun was gone. My cold shower had dampened Mr. Barrymore's Irish spirits, and Maida looked down. I was the "downer," but I "toughed it out," as Sir Ralph would say, to the very end.
When we all streamed into the big hall there sat Mamma in a corner with the Prince, instead of having gone up-stairs to nurse her headache. What was worse, she was letting the man teach her to smoke a cigarette in imitation of some Russian ladies in another corner. They were puffing away as calmly as they breathed, [Pg 172] because it was the same thing with them; but Mamma was far from calm. She was flirting with all her might, and feeling tremendously pretty and popular.
When we all walked into the big hall, there was Mom sitting in a corner with the Prince instead of going upstairs to rest her headache. To make matters worse, she was letting him show her how to smoke a cigarette like some Russian ladies in another corner. They were puffing away as casually as they breathed, [Pg 172] since it was all the same to them; but Mom was anything but calm. She was flirting her heart out and feeling really pretty and popular.
She didn't see me until I had stalked up behind her. "Mamma!" I said, in a tone of freezing virtue. "Four years ago, you spanked me for that. And if Papa were here now, what would he do to you?"
She didn't notice me until I quietly approached her from behind. "Mom!" I said, in a tone of icy righteousness. "Four years ago, you punished me for that. And if Dad were here right now, what would he do to you?"
She started as if a mouse had sprung at her—and Mamma is dreadfully afraid of little innocent mice. Then she began to explain and apologize as if she had been thirteen, and I—well, I'll say twenty-nine.
She jumped like a mouse had just jumped at her—and Mom is really scared of those tiny, harmless mice. Then she started to explain and apologize like she was thirteen, and I—well, I'll say twenty-nine.
I foresee that I am going to have trouble with Mamma.
I can already tell I'm going to have issues with Mom.
PART III
TOLD BY THE COUNTESS
XV
A CHAPTER OF PITFALLS
A woman finds out a great many things about herself when she is automobiling. Or is it automobiling that makes new qualities grow? I'm not sure; but then I'm so different in many ways from what I used to be that I hardly know myself any more.
A woman discovers a lot about herself when she's driving. Or maybe it's driving that brings out new qualities in her? I'm not sure; but I'm so different in many ways from who I used to be that I can hardly recognize myself anymore.
Beechy would tell me that it's all owing to Madame Rose-Blanche of Chicago; but it isn't really. She changed me on the outside; she couldn't change my disposition—except that one is happier when one's pretty than when one's a "trump," as the English ladies say.
Beechy would tell me it’s all because of Madame Rose-Blanche from Chicago, but that’s not really true. She changed my appearance, but she couldn’t change who I am—except that you tend to be happier when you’re attractive than when you’re a “trump,” as the English ladies say.
But I used to hate being out-of-doors; it seemed such a waste of time. And when poor Mr. Kidder was alive, I often thought that if I could be free to do exactly as I liked for a month, I'd spend it lying on a sofa among a pile of cushions, with a big box of candy, and dozens of new English society novels. Yet now that I am free to do as I like, not for one month, but for all the time, I go gadding around the world at twenty or thirty miles an hour (they feel like twice as many) in an automobile.
But I used to hate being outdoors; it felt like such a waste of time. And when poor Mr. Kidder was alive, I often thought that if I could be free to do exactly what I wanted for a month, I’d spend it lounging on a sofa surrounded by a pile of cushions, with a big box of candy and a bunch of new English society novels. Yet now that I am free to do what I want, not just for a month but all the time, I’m zooming around the world at twenty or thirty miles an hour (it feels like twice that) in a car.
However, it's just as if I had walked right into a novel myself, to be one of the heroines. I've read a good many novels with young widows for heroines; in fact, I prefer them, as it's so pleasant to put yourself in the heroine's place while you read, especially if you're interested in the hero.
However, it's like I just stepped into a novel myself, to be one of the heroines. I've read quite a few novels with young widows as heroines; in fact, I like them more because it's really enjoyable to put yourself in the heroine's shoes while you read, especially if you're into the hero.
In my novel that I've stepped into, there are three heroes if I count Mr. Barrymore, and I suppose I may (though he's only [Pg 175] the chauffeur, as the Prince often reminds me), for Beechy says that Sir Ralph Moray tells her he comes from a very fine family.
In my novel that I’ve entered, there are three main characters if I include Mr. Barrymore, and I think I can (even though he’s just the chauffeur, as the Prince often points out), because Beechy says that Sir Ralph Moray claims he comes from a really distinguished family.
At first I didn't know but Sir Ralph would be the real hero, for by an odd coincidence he is twenty-nine, which is my age—if it's true, as Madame says, that a woman has a right to count herself no older than she looks. Besides, I'm very partial to the English; and though I was a little disappointed, after seeing that advertisement of his, to learn that the "titled Englishman" owning a motor-car, was no higher than a baronet, I thought he might do. But somehow, though kind and attentive, he has never shown the same warm interest that Prince Dalmar-Kalm takes in me, and then it is so romantic that I should be buying an estate with one of the titles belonging to the Prince's family. I can't help feeling now that the Prince, and no one but the Prince, is meant for the hero of this story of which I am the heroine. After all, what title sounds so well for a woman as "Princess"? It might be royalty, and I'm sure it would be admired in Denver.
At first, I didn’t realize that Sir Ralph would actually be the real hero because, coincidentally, he’s twenty-nine, which is my age—if it’s true, as Madame says, that a woman can claim to be no older than she looks. Plus, I have a soft spot for the English; and even though I felt a bit let down, after seeing his advertisement, to find out that the "titled Englishman" with a car is only a baronet, I thought he could work. But somehow, even though he’s kind and attentive, he hasn’t shown the same enthusiasm that Prince Dalmar-Kalm has for me. It’s so romantic that I’m buying an estate with one of the titles from the Prince’s family. I can’t shake the feeling that the Prince, and only the Prince, is meant to be the hero of this story, in which I’m the heroine. After all, what title sounds better for a woman than "Princess"? It could be royal, and I’m sure it would be admired in Denver.
The change in me may be partly owing to the excitement of realizing that I'm in a grander sphere than any I have ever entered before, or dared hope to enter, and that this may be but a kind of ante-chamber to something still grander. Of course I might have gone on this trip in the Prince's automobile, if he had known in time that I had a fancy to try motoring, but perhaps it's better as it is. I like being independent, and it's just as well to have several men in the party, so that no one among them can think he's going to have everything his own way.
The change in me might be partly due to the thrill of realizing that I'm in a bigger world than any I've ever been in before, or even dared to imagine, and that this might just be a sort of waiting room for something even more amazing. Sure, I could have gone on this trip in the Prince's car, if he had known earlier that I wanted to try driving, but maybe it's better this way. I like being independent, and it's good to have several guys in the group so that none of them can think they'll get everything their way.
Who, that knew me a few years—or even a few months—ago, would have believed I could be perfectly happy sitting all day in a cramped position in an automobile, covered with dust or wet with sudden showers; tired, hungry, putting up with all sorts of discomforts by the way, and half the time frightened out of my wits by appalling precipices or terrific wild beasts? But happy I am, happier than I've ever been, though I keep asking myself, or Maida, or Beechy, "Why is it so nice?"
Who, that knew me a few years—or even a few months—ago, would have believed I could be perfectly happy sitting all day in a cramped position in a car, covered in dust or soaked from sudden rain; tired, hungry, dealing with all kinds of discomfort along the way, and half the time scared out of my mind by sheer cliffs or terrifying wild animals? But I am happy, happier than I've ever been, even though I keep asking myself, or Maida, or Beechy, "Why is it so nice?"
Maida says she doesn't know why, she only knows it is, and much more than nice. "The Quintessence of Joy-of-Life," that is what she has named the sensation; and as Maida uses it, it is sure to be all right, though I must admit that to me it sounds almost improper.
Maida says she doesn’t know why, she just knows it is, and much more than nice. “The Quintessence of Joy-of-Life,” that’s what she’s named the feeling; and as Maida uses it, it’s bound to be fine, although I have to admit that to me it sounds a bit inappropriate.
Then there is another thing which strikes me as queer about myself and the two girls since we've been travelling in an automobile. We used to be glad when a train journey was over, and thankful to arrive at almost any place, whether it was beautiful or not, but now we're always in a perfect fever to go on—on—on. We shoot into some marvellous old town, that we would once have thought worth coming hundreds of miles just to see; and instead of wanting to get out of the motor-car and wander about, visiting all the churches or museums or picture-galleries, we think what a pity to spoil the record of so many miles in so many hours. If we stop long of course it brings down the average, and that seems nothing less than a calamity, though why on earth we should care so much, or care at all (considering we have our whole future before us) is a mystery. Even Maida, who is so fond of history, and countries that have made history in dim old ages, feels this. She thinks there is a motoring microbe that gets into your blood, just as other microbes do, so that it's a disease, only instead of being disagreeable it's almost dangerously pleasant. You know you ought to pause and do justice to a place, says Maida, but the motoring microbe wriggles and writhes against the decision of your reason, and you have to use violent measures before you can dull it into a state of coma for a while.
Then there’s another thing that seems strange to me about myself and the two girls since we’ve been traveling in a car. We used to be happy when a train trip was over, grateful to arrive at almost any place, beautiful or not, but now we’re always eager to keep going—on—on. We zoom into these amazing old towns that we would have once thought were worth traveling hundreds of miles to see; and instead of wanting to get out of the car and explore, visiting all the churches or museums or galleries, we think it’s a shame to mess up the record of so many miles in so few hours. If we stop too long, of course, it brings down the average speed, and that feels like a disaster, even though why we should care so much, or care at all (considering we have our whole future ahead of us) is a mystery. Even Maida, who loves history and places that have a rich past, feels this way. She believes there’s a motoring bug that gets into your system, just like other bugs, so it’s like a disease, but instead of being unpleasant, it’s almost dangerously enjoyable. You know you should take a moment and appreciate a place, Maida says, but the motoring bug wriggles and twists against your common sense, and you have to take drastic measures before you can calm it down for a while.
Mr. Barrymore tries to explain this phenomenon by arguing that, of all modern means of getting about the world, motoring is in itself the most enjoyable. The mere journey is as good a part of your tour as any, if not better; and that's the reason why, according to him, you never have the same longing to "get there" or "stay there" (wherever "there" may be) that you have when you travel by train, or boat or carriage. It is the thrill of flying through the air at such a rate that intoxicates you and makes you [Pg 177] feel you are conquering the world as you go. Perhaps he's right. But after all, reasons don't signify much. The principal thing is that you do feel so, and it is lovely.
Mr. Barrymore tries to explain this phenomenon by saying that, out of all the modern ways to get around the world, driving is the most enjoyable. The journey itself is just as important as any part of your trip, if not more so; and that's why, according to him, you don't really have the same urge to "get there" or "stay there" (wherever "there" is) when you travel by train, boat, or carriage. It's the thrill of speeding through the air that excites you and makes you feel like you're conquering the world as you go. Maybe he's right. But in the end, reasons don't matter much. The main thing is that you feel that way, and it's wonderful.
I was so tired after that long day from Cuneo to Milan that I wouldn't get up to go and look at the cathedral. I'd seen it by moonlight, and it couldn't be better by day, so I just lay in bed, and made a comfortable toilet afterwards without hurrying, which was a nice change, and gave me time to use my electric face-roller.
I was so exhausted after that long day traveling from Cuneo to Milan that I didn't feel like getting up to see the cathedral. I had already seen it by moonlight, and it couldn't possibly look better during the day, so I just stayed in bed and took my time getting ready, which was a nice change. It even gave me a chance to use my electric face roller.
When the girls came back, they were raving about magnificent statues, aisles, columns, windows, vistas, gargoyles, and saints' bodies in gorgeous shrines of silver. Beechy had apparently forgotten that she'd been vexed with me over night, and I was relieved, for she will not agree with me about the Prince, and I don't know what I should do if she really did carry out any of her threats. If she should put on the long frock she had before Mr. Kidder died (which she says she's got with her, locked up in her portmanteau), and should fix her hair on top of her head, that would be just about the end of my fun, once and for all. But she is such a dear girl at heart, in spite of the peculiarities which she has inherited from poor Simon, I can't think (if I manage her pretty well) that she would do anything to spoil my first real good time and hurt my feelings.
When the girls came back, they were going on about the amazing statues, aisles, columns, windows, views, gargoyles, and the bodies of saints in beautiful silver shrines. Beechy had apparently forgotten that she'd been upset with me the night before, and I was relieved because she will not agree with me about the Prince, and I don't know what I would do if she actually followed through on any of her threats. If she were to wear that long dress she had before Mr. Kidder died (which she claims she has with her, locked up in her suitcase), and styled her hair on top of her head, that would pretty much ruin my fun for good. But she is such a sweet girl at heart, despite the quirks she's inherited from poor Simon; I can't believe (if I manage her well enough) that she would do anything to ruin my first real good time and hurt my feelings.
We had an early lunch, and started about one with such a crowd outside the hotel to see us go away, that we made up our minds there must be precious few automobiles in Milan, big and busy city as it is.
We had an early lunch and set out around one, facing such a large crowd outside the hotel to see us off that we figured there must be very few cars in Milan, despite being such a big and bustling city.
The whole party was so taken up with the Cathedral, that for a while they could talk of nothing but Gian Galeazzo Visconti (who seemed to have spent his life either in murdering his relations or founding churches), or marble from the valley of Tosa, or German architects who had made the building differ from any other in Italy, or the impulse Napoleon had given to work on the façade, or the view from the roof all the way to Como with the Apennines and lots of other mountains whose names I'd [Pg 178] never heard; but presently as we got out into the suburbs the road began to be so awful that no one could talk rationally on any subject.
The whole party was so captivated by the Cathedral that for a while, they could talk about nothing but Gian Galeazzo Visconti (who seemed to have spent his life either murdering his relatives or building churches), the marble from the Tosa valley, the German architects who made the building unique in Italy, the push Napoleon had given to the work on the façade, or the view from the roof all the way to Como with the Apennines and many other mountains whose names I’d [Pg 178] never heard; but eventually, as we got out into the suburbs, the road became so terrible that no one could discuss anything rationally.
We three Americans weren't quite so disgusted as Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore seemed to be, for we are used to roads being pretty bad outside large cities; but the gentlemen were very cross, and exclaimed that it was a disgrace to Milan. Our poor automobile had to go bumping and grinding along through heaps of sharp stones, more like the dry bed of a mountain torrent than a road; and my nerves were on edge when Mr. Barrymore told us not to be frightened if we heard an explosion like a shot, because it would only be one of the tyres bursting. No pretty little ladylike automobile, said he, could possibly hope to come through without breaking her bones; only fine, manly motor-cars, with noble masculine tyres, could wisely attempt the feat; but ours would be all right, even if a tyre did go, for the damage could be repaired inside half an hour.
We three Americans weren't as disgusted as Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore seemed to be because we're used to pretty bad roads outside big cities. But the gentlemen were really upset, complaining that it was a disgrace for Milan. Our poor car had to bump and grind over piles of sharp stones, more like the dry bed of a mountain stream than a proper road. I was on edge when Mr. Barrymore warned us not to panic if we heard a loud bang like a gunshot, because it would just be a tire blowing out. He said no dainty little car could get through without breaking down; only tough, manly cars with strong, masculine tires could handle it. But ours would be fine, even if a tire did pop, because the damage could be fixed in about half an hour.
Still, the thought of the possible explosion that might go off right under my ears at any instant kept me in a state of suspense for a long distance—about thirty kilometres, Mr. Barrymore said; and then the way improved so much that I settled down again. Even the scenery had been ugly up to that time, as if to match the road, but it began to change for the better at precisely the same moment.
Still, the thought of a possible explosion that could happen right under my ears at any moment kept me tense for a long time—about thirty kilometers, Mr. Barrymore said; and then the road got so much better that I relaxed again. Even the scenery had been ugly up to that point, as if to match the bad road, but it started to improve at exactly the same moment.
The only interesting things we had seen so far were peasants playing bowls in the villages through which we passed (for it was a fête day) and the curious carts with wooden frames for awnings arched over them, which gave an effect as if the passengers were crowding inside the white ribs of some skeleton monster. Such pretty women and children were in the carts, too; the women like beautiful, dark madonnas with their soft eyes looking out from under graceful head-draperies of black cashmere, or blue or yellow silk, glorious in colour as the sun touched it.
The only interesting things we had seen so far were peasants playing bowls in the villages we passed through (since it was a festive day) and the strange carts with wooden frames for awnings that arched over them, creating the impression that the passengers were crammed inside the white ribs of some skeleton monster. There were also such beautiful women and children in the carts; the women looked like stunning, dark madonnas with their soft eyes peeking out from under elegant head coverings made of black cashmere, or blue or yellow silk, glowing in color as the sun hit them.
They didn't seem to mind the bumping over the stones, though the carts were springless, but then, they had no hats lolloping over [Pg 179] to one side, or stays to pinch in their waists and make them uncomfortable as I had, though—as Beechy says—my daytime motoring waist is inches bigger round than my evening waist.
They didn't seem to care about bouncing over the stones, even though the carts didn't have springs. But then again, they weren't wearing hats that tilted to one side or corsets that pinched their waists and made them uncomfortable like I was. However, as Beechy says, my daytime driving waist is inches bigger around than my evening waist.
I was glad when I could put my hat straight again, once for all, and have time to enjoy the scenery through which, as I told myself, the Prince must lately have passed on his car, perhaps thinking of me, as he had promised.
I was happy when I could fix my hat once and for all and take a moment to enjoy the scenery that, I told myself, the Prince must have recently driven through in his car, maybe thinking of me as he had promised.
Behind us was the great plain in which Milan lies, and before us soared into the air a blue chain of mountains, looking mysterious and inaccessible in the far distance, though we were sweeping on towards them, charging down hill after hill into a more exquisite landscape than I could have imagined, enchantingly Italian, with dark old châteaux crowning eminences above fertile fields; pretty brown villages on hillsides clustering round graceful campaniles (a word I've practised lately with several other difficult ones); green-black cypresses (which Maida says seem like sharp notes in music); and wonderful, flat-topped trees that Mr. Barrymore calls umbrella pines.
Behind us was the vast plain where Milan sits, and ahead of us rose a blue range of mountains, looking mysterious and unreachable in the distance, even though we were moving toward them, racing down hill after hill into a more beautiful landscape than I could have imagined. It was enchantingly Italian, with dark old castles perched on hills above fertile fields; charming brown villages dotting the hillsides around elegant bell towers (a word I’ve been practicing lately along with several other tricky ones); deep green cypress trees (which Maida says look like sharp notes in music); and amazing flat-topped trees that Mr. Barrymore calls umbrella pines.
We were now in a region known as the Brianza, which is, it appears, a summer resort for the Milanese, who come to escape the hot weather of the plains, and find the breezes that blow up from the lakes—breezes so celebrated for their health-giving qualities that nobody who lives in the Brianza can die under ninety. There were a great many inviting looking, quaint farmhouses, and big cottages scattered about, where the people from Milan are taken as lodgers.
We were now in an area called the Brianza, which seems to be a summer getaway for people from Milan, who come here to escape the heat of the plains and enjoy the breezes coming from the lakes—breezes so famous for their health benefits that no one living in the Brianza can pass away before turning ninety. There were a lot of charming, picturesque farmhouses and large cottages scattered around, where the Milanese stay as guests.
I had forgotten my nervousness about the tyres, when suddenly a queer thing happened. There was a wild flapping and beating as if a big bird had got caught in the engine, while something strange and horrifying kept leaping up and down with every revolution of the wheels, like a huge black snake racing along with us and trying for a chance to pounce. It was so like a weird and horrid dream that I shrieked; but in a few seconds Mr. Barrymore had stopped the car. "We are in luck," said he.
I had forgotten my nerves about the tires when suddenly something strange happened. There was a wild flapping and beating like a big bird got caught in the engine, while something bizarre and terrifying kept jumping up and down with every turn of the wheels, like a huge black snake racing alongside us, trying to leap at us. It felt so much like a weird, disturbing dream that I screamed; but in a few seconds, Mr. Barrymore had stopped the car. "We are in luck," he said.
"Why?" I asked. "Have we killed the Serpent-thing—whatever [Pg 180] it is?"
"Why?" I asked. "Have we killed the Serpent-thing—whatever [Pg 180] it is?"
Then he laughed. "The Serpent-thing is the outer covering of the tyre on one of our driving wheels," he explained. "And we're in luck because, after that ghastly road it isn't the tyre itself. This is nothing; I'll tear it off, and the good old tyre's so sound that we can go on with its skin off, until Bellagio, when I'll put on a new one before we start again. It has cracked the mud guard in its gyrations, though fortunately not enough to make it unsafe for the luggage."
Then he laughed. "The Serpent-thing is just the outer layer of the tire on one of our drive wheels," he explained. "And we're lucky because, after that terrible road, it’s not the tire itself. This is nothing; I'll rip it off, and the good old tire is so solid that we can keep going with its skin off until Bellagio, where I'll put on a new one before we start again. It did crack the mudguard a bit in its spinning, but fortunately, it's not enough to make it unsafe for the luggage."
In about three minutes we were teuf-teufing on once more; but we hadn't been going for ten minutes when, half-way up a hill, the motor gave a weary sigh, and moved languidly, as if it were very tired and discouraged, yet trying its best to obey. We were on the outskirts of a village called Erba, and the automobile crawled on until it saw a little inn, with a lot of peasants sitting in the cool shade of an arbour, drinking wine; there it stopped, which was wonderfully intelligent of it.
In about three minutes, we were off again; but we hadn't been driving for ten minutes when, halfway up a hill, the engine let out a tired sigh and moved sluggishly, like it was really worn out and discouraged but still trying its best to keep going. We were on the outskirts of a village called Erba, and the car crept along until it spotted a small inn with a bunch of peasants sitting in the cool shade of an arbor, drinking wine; then it came to a stop, which was surprisingly smart of it.
"The poor animal wants water after its hard work," said Mr. Barrymore; so he got down and asked a boy to bring some, ordering at the same time a siphon of fizzy lemonade for everybody. While we were sipping the cold, sweet stuff, Mr. Barrymore burst out laughing, and we all looked up to see what was the matter. There was that silly boy bringing a pint of water, in a carafe, to pour into the tank of the motor; and he seemed quite surprised and disgusted when he was told to go back and fetch about twenty litres more.
"The poor animal needs water after all its hard work," said Mr. Barrymore. So he got down and asked a boy to bring some, while also ordering a siphon of fizzy lemonade for everyone. While we were sipping the cold, sweet drink, Mr. Barrymore suddenly burst out laughing, and we all looked up to see what was going on. There was that silly boy bringing a pint of water in a carafe to pour into the tank of the motor, and he looked quite surprised and disgusted when he was told to go back and fetch about twenty liters more.
The automobile had thoughtfully slowed down in the one bit of shade there was; still it was tremendously hot, and we realized that it was only the motion of the car which had kept us from finding it out before. We should have been miserable if we hadn't changed our tailor motoring-costumes for the holland dresses and coats which we'd bought ready-made at the last moment, in Monte Carlo. In spite of them, however, we were glad when the water was in, and the motor-car's heart began to beat again. Then down went ours, for after a dozen throbs the comforting [Pg 181] sound grew faint and presently stopped. "There's no proper explosion," Mr. Barrymore announced in a puzzled way. "I'm afraid the petrol I bought in Milan wasn't very good; the Italian never is as good as the French, though it's more expensive. But perhaps it's only 'tired.' I'll empty it out and put in some fresh."
The car had thoughtfully slowed down in the one spot of shade available; still, it was incredibly hot, and we realized that it was only the movement of the car that had prevented us from noticing it earlier. We would have been miserable if we hadn't swapped our tailored driving outfits for the ready-made dresses and coats we had quickly bought in Monte Carlo. Despite that, we were relieved when the water was in, and the car's engine started to thrum again. But then our spirits sank because after a dozen beats, the reassuring sound faded and soon stopped. "There's no proper explosion," Mr. Barrymore said, sounding confused. "I'm afraid the gas I bought in Milan might not be very good; the Italian stuff is never as good as the French, even though it's pricier. But maybe it's just 'tired.' I'll drain it and put in some fresh."
He did, but the poor automobile was not revived by the change; and Mr. Barrymore began to peer about in the inner workings of the thing to see what had gone wrong. He examined the bougie, whatever that was, and cleaned the aspiration valve with petrol, all of which took time; and what with the heat, and the noise the peasants in the inn-garden made with their boules, I began to get the feeling that Beechy calls "caterpillars in the spine." Just when they were crawling up and down my marrow, however, Mr. Barrymore cried out, "Eureka! it's the pump."
He did, but the poor car wasn't fixed by the change, and Mr. Barrymore started looking around in the inner workings of it to see what had gone wrong. He checked the bougie, whatever that was, and cleaned the aspiration valve with petrol, which all took time; and with the heat and the noise the locals in the inn's garden were making with their boules, I began to feel what Beechy calls "caterpillars in the spine." Just when they were crawling up and down my bones, though, Mr. Barrymore shouted, "Eureka! It's the pump."
This exclamation didn't convey much to me, but it was encouraging that he seemed pleased; and when he had adjusted the friction roller against a fly-wheel, or something queer and ticklish of that sort, we flew away from Erba at a splendid pace, as if the car had decided to let bygones be bygones.
This shout didn’t mean much to me, but it was nice to see that he seemed happy; and when he adjusted the friction roller against a fly-wheel, or something unusual and sensitive like that, we took off from Erba at an amazing speed, as if the car had decided to forget the past.
We ran beautifully along a smooth and level road that was trying to make up for its evil past, by the side of a small but pretty lake, and it seemed as if our troubles were over at last. But the astonishment on the faces of the peasants who stared from doorways in a couple of very picturesque villages through which we drove, was ominous. Evidently they had scarcely ever seen a motor-car, for they glared at us as if we were antediluvian animals. Running out of the second village, Asso, we found ourselves climbing a road which was not only as steep as the side of a house, but so narrow that, if we had met anything, it couldn't possibly have passed us. The way was wild and eerie; we could not tell what might come beyond each corner, and we could see nothing but the roughly climbing road, with its embankments, except as we looked back and down into vast spaces of strange beauty, like fleeting scenes in dreams.
We drove smoothly along a flat road trying to redeem its troubled past, next to a small but beautiful lake, and it felt like our troubles were finally over. However, the shock on the faces of the villagers peering from their doorways in a couple of charming villages we passed through was unsettling. Clearly, they had rarely seen a car before, as they stared at us like we were ancient creatures. Leaving the second village, Asso, we found ourselves on a steep road that was so narrow that if we had encountered anything coming the other way, it wouldn't have been able to get past us. The path was wild and eerie; we couldn't predict what lay beyond each bend, and all we could see was the rugged road climbing upward, its embankments, except when we looked back down into wide expanses of unusual beauty, like fleeting scenes from dreams.
[Pg 182] "I'm sure we must have come wrong. This can't be the way that the Prince meant," I said. "It's more like a track for goats than automobiles."
[Pg 182] "I'm sure we must have taken a wrong turn. This can't be the route the Prince intended," I said. "It looks more like a goat path than a road for cars."
"We have come right according to directions," answered Mr. Barrymore, "but I must say, I rather wonder at the directions. According to Dalmar-Kalm's account, the road was fairly good. I can hardly think he risked this route for his own car."
"We followed the directions exactly," Mr. Barrymore replied, "but I must admit, I'm a bit puzzled by them. According to Dalmar-Kalm's description, the road was pretty decent. I can hardly believe he chose this route for his own car."
"Is there another he could have taken?" inquired Sir Ralph.
"Is there another route he could have taken?" Sir Ralph asked.
"Yes. He could have driven along the lake as far as Varenna, and then sent his car across to Bellagio on one of the steamers."
"Yes. He could have driven along the lake to Varenna, and then taken his car across to Bellagio on one of the boats."
"My prophetic soul, which I inherit from a long line of Scotch ancestors, tells me that's what he did," said Sir Ralph. Then he added in a lower voice, "It would be like him." But I heard, and wondered if, after all, he were a little jealous of the Prince?
"My intuitive sense, which I get from a long line of Scottish ancestors, tells me that's what he did," said Sir Ralph. Then he added in a softer voice, "It would be just like him." But I heard, and I wondered if, after all, he was a little jealous of the Prince?
"Whether he did or not, I'm glad we didn't," remarked Beechy. "This looks like being an adventure; and none of us are old enough to have outgrown our love of adventure, are we, Mamma?"
"Whether he did or didn’t, I’m glad we didn’t," Beechy said. "This seems like it’s going to be an adventure, and none of us are too old to still love adventure, right, Mamma?"
Of course, I had to say "no," though I'd been on the point of asking whether it wouldn't be possible for us to go back. We had just come into a ragged hamlet, and there was literally no more than room for us to scrape through between the poor stone houses which leaned over us on either side the steep, roughly cobbled road. Six inches less, and we would have been in danger of slicing off our mud-guards, upon which lay a lot of our luggage as if on shelves. My heart was in my mouth, and I said so to Beechy; but she only laughed, and replied pertly—even for her—that she hoped it was a good fit, or should she pat me on the back?
Of course, I had to say "no," even though I was just about to ask if it was possible for us to turn back. We had just entered a scruffy village, and there was barely enough space for us to squeeze through the rundown stone houses that leaned over us on either side of the steep, uneven road. If there had been six inches less space, we would have risked scraping off our mudguards, which were loaded with a lot of our luggage, almost like shelves. I was really nervous, and I mentioned it to Beechy; but she just laughed and replied, a bit cheekily—even for her—that she hoped it was a good fit or if she should give me a pat on the back?
Instead of smoothing out to a level again, as I hoped against hope that it would, the road grew steeper with each quarter-mile, so steep that it seemed as if the car must take to running down hill backwards. But always it went forging steadily up on the strongest speed with a dependable, bumbling noise, never [Pg 183] once faltering, though the Col di Tenda wasn't as steep a gradient as this. Certainly, after one's faith in the car has stopped wobbling, there was a kind of wild pleasure in the experience, especially in looking over one's shoulder at the valleys lying far below us, cut deep into the green heart of the mountain, as if they had been hollowed out of an emerald. Suddenly the road gave a twist, and instead of prancing in the air, lay down at the feet of a grim, grey town, as a dog lies down at the feet of his master.
Instead of leveling off like I had hoped, the road kept getting steeper with each quarter-mile, so steep that it felt like the car might just roll down backwards. Yet, it kept pushing steadily uphill with a strong, reliable hum, never faltering once, even though the Col di Tenda wasn’t as steep as this. Once my faith in the car steadied, there was a wild thrill in the ride, especially when I looked back at the deep valleys below us, carved into the vibrant green of the mountain, as if they had been chiseled out of an emerald. Suddenly, the road turned sharply and, instead of soaring through the air, it laid down at the feet of a grim, grey town, like a dog lying down at its master’s feet.
Mr. Barrymore stopped to see if the motor had got hot or burst a blood-vessel or anything; but all was well, and when we had slipped on our thick coats, those who had got out to walk the steepest hills—Sir Ralph and Beechy—climbed in again. We had been a long time creeping up, longer than Mr. Barrymore had calculated, and the chill of evening was in the air. Besides, we were in the midst of the mountains now, and it was hard to realize that we had ever felt too hot. As we drove along the edge of ridge, a keen wind caught us. I shivered and felt as if there were no more thickness to me than a paper doll; but I shouldn't have dared to tell Beechy that, or she would have laughed, for I haven't got my weight down yet to less than a hundred and fifty pounds. There was a gnawing just under my new gold belt-buckle with the cat's-eyes on it, as if the cats had claws as well as eyes, and I remembered that it was ages since lunch. Maida and Beechy never appear to be hungry when they motor, though, so I wouldn't complain, for fear it might seem old and frumpy to think of such material things. But five minutes later being cold or hungry mattered as little as it would in a shipwreck.
Mr. Barrymore stopped to check if the engine had overheated or something was wrong, but everything was fine. After we put on our thick coats, those who had gotten out to walk up the steepest hills—Sir Ralph and Beechy—got back in. We had been creeping upward for a long time, longer than Mr. Barrymore had expected, and there was a chill in the evening air. We were surrounded by mountains now, making it hard to remember feeling too hot. As we drove along the edge of the ridge, a sharp wind hit us. I shivered and felt as light as a paper doll, but I wouldn’t have dared to tell Beechy that; she would have laughed since I still weighed over a hundred and fifty pounds. I felt a nagging sensation just under my new gold belt buckle with cat's-eyes, as if the cats had claws as well as eyes, and I realized it had been ages since lunch. Maida and Beechy never seem to get hungry when they’re driving, so I wouldn’t complain, worried it might seem outdated and silly to think about such trivial things. But five minutes later, being cold or hungry mattered as little as it would in a shipwreck.
The first thing that happened was a view—a view so unexpected and so superb that I gaped at it with my mouth open. So far away, so far below, that it was as if we looked down from a balloon sailing among the clouds, two lakes were set like sapphires in a double ring of mountains, whose greens and blues and purples were dimmed by a falling veil of twilight. But through the veil, white villas gleamed on the dark hillsides, like pearls that had fallen down the mountain-side, scattering as they [Pg 184] fell; and above, in the great pale dome of the sky, a faint silver light pulsed and quivered, like the water-lights that one sees on the wall of a room near the river. It was a search-light sent out by the moon, which was en panne somewhere on its way up the horizon, Maida said; and it was she who put some of those other thoughts into my mind; but my head didn't hold any of them long at that time, because of the next thing that happened.
The first thing that happened was a view—so unexpected and so stunning that I stood there with my mouth open. Far below, it felt like we were looking down from a balloon floating among the clouds. Two lakes sparkled like sapphires in a double ring of mountains, their greens, blues, and purples fading in the dim light of twilight. But through the haze, white villas shone on the dark hills, like pearls scattered down the mountainside; and above, in the vast pale sky, a soft silver light pulsed and shimmered, reminiscent of water reflections seen on a wall near the river. It was a searchlight sent out by the moon, which was broken down somewhere on its way up the horizon, Maida explained; and she was the one who planted some of those other thoughts in my mind, but I couldn’t hold on to any of them for long at that moment because of what happened next.
It was not a view; it was a plunge that we took down into the view.
It wasn't just a view; it was a dive that we made into the scenery.
We had come up one side of a house to get to this place on the roof, and now we began to slither down the other side, which was worse, a hundred times worse.
We had climbed up one side of a house to reach this spot on the roof, and now we started to slide down the other side, which was a hundred times worse.
Who was it who said, "A horse, my kingdom for a horse?" I think it must have been Richard the Third in Shakspere's play, which I went to see once in Denver, at a matinée, and Mr. Kidder scolded me afterwards for wasting my time and his money. Well, I never sympathized with any one so much in life as I sympathized with that poor man (I mean Richard, not Mr. Kidder) at this moment. I knew just how he must have felt, though of course the circumstances were somewhat different, automobiles not having been invented in those days, and he being on the stage, with a battle going on behind the scenes, where it was cheaper to produce, I suppose.
Who was it that said, "A horse, my kingdom for a horse?" I think it must have been Richard the Third in Shakespeare's play, which I saw once in Denver at a matinee. Mr. Kidder scolded me afterwards for wasting my time and his money. Well, I’ve never sympathized with anyone as much in life as I sympathized with that poor man (I mean Richard, not Mr. Kidder) at that moment. I knew exactly how he must have felt, although of course the circumstances were somewhat different, since automobiles hadn't been invented back then, and he was on stage, with a battle happening backstage, which was probably cheaper to produce.
But I would have given my money, and even my title, for a kind, gentle horse (the older the better) instead of a motor-car. A horse, at his worst, doesn't want to kill himself, while an automobile doesn't care what happens to it; and in these dreadful moments the only possible comfort would have been in sitting behind a thing with an instinct of self-preservation.
But I would have given my money, and even my title, for a kind, gentle horse (the older, the better) instead of a car. A horse, at its worst, doesn't want to harm itself, while a car doesn't care what happens to it; and in these dreadful moments, the only possible comfort would have been in sitting behind something with an instinct for self-preservation.
As it was, I sat with every muscle tense and a feeling as if my hair was standing up so straight on my head that every hairpin must fall out. But what was a hairpin more or less, or even a "transformation" a little awry, to a woman about to become a corpse? I held my breath, as if to let it go meant to lose it forever, [Pg 185] while that automobile walked down the mountain exactly as a fly walks down a long expanse of wall-paper, making a short turn for every flower in the pattern.
As it was, I sat with every muscle tense, feeling like my hair was standing up so straight on my head that every hairpin would just fall out. But really, what did a hairpin matter, or even a slightly messed-up transformation, to a woman who was about to be a corpse? I held my breath, as if letting it go would mean losing it forever, [Pg 185] while that car moved down the mountain just like a fly making its way down a long stretch of wallpaper, making a quick turn for every flower in the pattern.
There was a flower every other second in our pattern, which meant a sharp turn for the fly; and I could have slapped Mr. Barrymore for talking on, as if we weren't in peril enough to be prayed for in church, about the Lake of Como and the Lake of Lecco, and Bellagio (where we were going) on the promontory. Where we were going, indeed! Our only hope, clearly, was in heaven; though I should have liked just to see my new estate in Dalmatia first.
There was a flower every other second in our pattern, which meant a quick turn for the fly; and I could have slapped Mr. Barrymore for talking on, as if we weren't in enough danger to be prayed for in church, about Lake Como and Lake Lecco, and Bellagio (where we were headed) on the promontory. Where we were going, indeed! Our only hope, clearly, was in heaven; though I would have liked to see my new estate in Dalmatia first.
I had to let my breath go at last, and while snatching another, I managed to gasp that I would get out and walk. But that imp of a Beechy (who must, I sometimes think, be a changeling) hugged my arm and said that I wasn't to be "an old woman, like the Prince"; that this experience was too blissful to be spoiled by anybody's nerves, and no one was going to be hurt, not even the little dog from Airole.
I finally let out a breath, and while catching another, I managed to gasp that I would get out and walk. But that mischievous Beechy (who I sometimes think must be a changeling) clung to my arm and said I shouldn't be "an old woman, like the Prince"; that this moment was too amazing to be ruined by anyone's nerves, and no one was going to get hurt, not even the little dog from Airole.
"How do you know?" I panted.
"How do you know?" I gasped.
"Oh, because I do. And besides, I put my faith in our Chauffeulier."
"Oh, because I really do. And besides, I trust our Chauffeulier."
"You had better put your trust in Providence," I said severely.
"You should really trust in Providence," I said sternly.
"It hasn't come to that yet," was her flippant reply; and I shouldn't have been surprised if white bears had come out to devour her, for those mountain fastnesses looked capable of bears or worse.
"It hasn't come to that yet," was her casual reply; and I wouldn't have been surprised if polar bears had shown up to eat her, because those mountain hideouts looked like they could hold bears or something even worse.
"Don't forget this is the road the Prince recommended," Beechy went on. "It would be too unflattering to our vanity to think he could have wished to hurl us to our death, so it must be all right."
"Don't forget this is the road the Prince suggested," Beechy continued. "It would be too much for our pride to think he would want to send us to our doom, so it has to be fine."
"He had forgotten what it was like," I said. But the idea did enter into my mind that perhaps he had thought if our car should break down we might be induced to continue our journey in his. And the suggestion of so strong a desire on his part to monopolize [Pg 186] a certain member of our party wasn't wholly unpleasant. It gave me enough warmth round the heart to support life during the rest of the experience which Beechy considered so "blissful."
"He had forgotten what it was like," I said. But the thought crossed my mind that maybe he figured if our car broke down, we’d be encouraged to keep going in his. The idea that he really wanted to monopolize [Pg 186] a certain member of our group wasn't entirely unappealing. It gave me just enough warmth in my heart to get through the rest of the experience that Beechy thought was so "blissful."
I will say for Mr. Barrymore that he drove carefully, keeping the brakes on all the time, and slowing down for one curve after another, so short and so sharp, that if our automobile had been much longer in the body the turn couldn't have been managed.
I have to give credit to Mr. Barrymore for driving carefully; he kept the brakes on the whole time and slowed down for each tight curve, which were so short and sharp that if our car had been any longer, we wouldn't have been able to make the turn.
We had trusted to Mr. Barrymore's judgment about where we were to stop at Bellagio, for even Sir Ralph had never done more than pass through the place; and he had telegraphed for rooms at a hotel on a high promontory above the lake, once the château of a famous old Italian family. It is still called the villa Serbelloni, and Mr. Barrymore had described the view and the garden as being so exquisite, that he had excited our curiosity and interest. I always think, too, there is something fascinating, if you aren't very grand yourself (or haven't been till lately), about living in the same rooms where grand people have lived. You can say to yourself, "Here the Duchess ate her Dinner, here she danced, here she wrote her letters. In this garden she walked; her eyes looked upon this view," and so I was particularly attracted towards the Villa Serbelloni, even though Prince Dalmar-Kalm had suggested several reasons for our going to one of the hotels on the level of the lake. Of course I'd not confided these reflections either to Maida or Beechy, for even Maida is unsympathetic about some things, and thinks, or says that she thinks, it is horridly snobbish to care about titles. She told Beechy, in an argument they were having together, that she would just as soon as not snub an English duke or marquise, just to show that there were some American girls who didn't come abroad to spend their money on buying a husband from the British aristocracy. She hasn't had a chance to prove her strength of mind in this way yet, for so far we have met only an English baronet; though I must admit that she's much nicer to Mr. Barrymore, who is nobody at all, than she is either to Sir Ralph Moray or the Prince.
We had relied on Mr. Barrymore's judgment about where to stay in Bellagio, since even Sir Ralph had only ever passed through. He had arranged for us to have rooms at a hotel situated on a high promontory overlooking the lake, which used to be the château of a famous old Italian family. It's still called the Villa Serbelloni, and Mr. Barrymore had described the view and garden as so beautiful that he'd sparked our curiosity and interest. I also think there's something intriguing, if you're not particularly grand yourself (or haven’t been until recently), about staying in the same rooms where important people once lived. You can tell yourself, "The Duchess dined here, danced here, wrote her letters here. She walked in this garden; her eyes gazed at this view," and so I was especially drawn to the Villa Serbelloni, despite Prince Dalmar-Kalm suggesting several reasons for us to stay at one of the hotels by the lake. Of course, I hadn’t shared these thoughts with Maida or Beechy, since even Maida can be unsympathetic about certain things and claims it's horridly snobbish to care about titles. She told Beechy during a debate they were having that she'd rather snub an English duke or marchioness just to show that some American girls didn’t come abroad just to spend their money on marrying into the British aristocracy. She hasn’t had a chance to demonstrate her resolve in this way yet, as so far we’ve only encountered an English baronet; although I must admit she’s much nicer to Mr. Barrymore, who is a nobody, than she is to either Sir Ralph Moray or the Prince.
[Pg 187] When we seemed to be dangling midway between heaven and earth, and the sapphires that had been the lakes had turned into burnished silver mirrors, Mr. Barrymore drew our attention to a high point of land running out into the water, its shape sharply cut like a silhouette in black against the silver. "That is where we shall be in about half an hour more," said he, "for all those twinkling yellow stars mean the Villa Serbelloni."
[Pg 187] When we appeared to be hanging between heaven and earth, and the lakes that used to be sapphires had transformed into shining silver mirrors, Mr. Barrymore pointed out a high point of land extending into the water, its shape sharply outlined like a black silhouette against the silver. "That's where we'll be in about half an hour," he said, "because all those twinkling yellow lights indicate the Villa Serbelloni."
I thought it much more probable that we would be at the bottom of Lake Como, having been previously dashed into pieces so small that no expert could sort them. But just as the moon had painted a line of glittering gold along the irregular edges of the purple mountains we did actually arrive on level ground close to the border of the lake. Then we had to mount again to the Villa Serbelloni, for there was no more direct way to it, connecting with the road by which we had come, and after we had wound up the side of the promontory for a little while we began to drink in a fragrance as divine as if we really had been killed and had gone straight to heaven.
I thought it was much more likely that we’d end up at the bottom of Lake Como, having been smashed into pieces so small that no expert could put them back together. But just as the moon cast a line of shining gold along the jagged edges of the purple mountains, we actually arrived on flat ground near the edge of the lake. Then we had to climb again to the Villa Serbelloni, since there was no more direct route to it that connected with the road we had taken. After winding up the hillside for a bit, we started to breathe in a scent so heavenly that it felt like we were dead and had gone straight to heaven.
It was quite a different fragrance from any I had ever known before in any garden; not so richly heavy as on the Riviera, though penetrating; as delicate, Maida said, as a Beethoven symphony, and as individual. I believe if I were to go blind, and somebody should lead me into the garden of the Villa Serbelloni without telling me where I was, I should know by that wonderful perfume. I can't imagine its being the same anywhere else.
It was a completely different scent from anything I had ever experienced in any garden before; not as intensely heavy as in the Riviera, but still strong; as delicate, Maida said, as a Beethoven symphony, and just as unique. I believe if I were to go blind, and someone guided me into the garden of the Villa Serbelloni without telling me where I was, I would recognize it by that amazing fragrance. I can’t picture it being the same anywhere else.
At the sound of our motor several people came out to the door of the long, white, crescent-shaped building, and among them, to my great pleasure, was the Prince.
At the sound of our engine, several people came out to the door of the long, white, crescent-shaped building, and among them, to my great delight, was the Prince.
"How late you are!" he exclaimed, coming to help me out before Sir Ralph, or a very handsome young man who was the manager of the hotel, had time to do it. "I've been expecting you for the last two hours. Do you know that it's nearly nine o'clock? I began to be afraid something had happened."
"You're really late!" he said, coming to help me out before Sir Ralph or the very good-looking young manager of the hotel could. "I’ve been waiting for you for the last two hours. Do you realize it’s almost nine? I was starting to worry something happened."
"What a pity you didn't think of that in Milan!" snapped Beechy. "Did you get Mamma to make a will in your favour last [Pg 188] night?"
"What a shame you didn't think of that in Milan!" snapped Beechy. "Did you get Mom to make a will in your favor last night?" [Pg 188]
"My dear young lady, what do you mean?" implored the poor Prince.
"My dear young lady, what do you mean?" begged the poor Prince.
"I guess you'd know that without asking, if you'd come the way we have, instead of taking boats and things all over the place," giggled the impossible child, and then complained out aloud that I was pinching her.
"I guess you would know that without asking if you had come the way we have, instead of taking boats and all that everywhere," giggled the impossible child, and then loudly complained that I was pinching her.
Naturally, the Prince was too dignified to bandy words with a naughty little girl, so he didn't pursue the subject further, but began inquiring particulars of our adventures as we went into the house together.
Naturally, the Prince was too dignified to argue with a mischievous little girl, so he didn't press the issue any further, but started asking about the details of our adventures as we walked into the house together.
"Do you know why I was especially anxious to arrive ahead of you?" he asked me, in a low voice.
"Do you know why I was really eager to get here before you?" he asked me quietly.
"I think I remember your explaining last night," said I.
"I think I remember you explaining last night," I said.
"Ah, but I didn't give my most important reasons. I kept them for your ears alone; and I hope you won't be displeased. Do you remember telling me something about to-morrow?"
"Ah, but I didn't share my most important reasons. I saved them just for you, and I hope you won't be upset. Do you remember mentioning something about tomorrow?"
I thought for a moment. "Do you mean that it will be my birthday?" I asked.
I thought for a moment. "Are you saying that it’s going to be my birthday?" I asked.
"I mean nothing else. Did you imagine that I would forget?"
"I mean nothing else. Did you really think I would forget?"
To tell the truth, I hoped he had, for I'd only mentioned it on an impulse, to regret the words as soon as they were out. A woman who is—well, I'll say over twenty-eight—had, perhaps, better let "sleeping dogs lie" when it comes to talking about birthdays, especially if she has a daughter who doesn't sleep, and never lies when she's wanted to. However, out the news had popped about the 30th of April being my birthday, and the Prince would hardly believe that I was as much as twenty-nine, though, of course, there is Beechy, and I couldn't well have married younger than fifteen. I murmured something now about a birthday being of no consequence (I wish it weren't), but the Prince said that mine was of a great deal to him, and he had made exertions to arrive early and arrange a little surprise for me.
To be honest, I really hoped he hadn’t heard, because I mentioned it impulsively and instantly regretted saying it. A woman who is—let's just say over twenty-eight—might be better off letting "sleeping dogs lie" when it comes to discussing birthdays, especially if she has a daughter who never sleeps and never lies when she wants to. But somehow, it came up that my birthday is April 30th, and the Prince could hardly believe I was even twenty-nine. Of course, there’s Beechy, and I couldn’t have married younger than fifteen. I muttered something about a birthday not being a big deal (I wish it really wasn’t), but the Prince insisted that mine was very important to him, and he had made an effort to come early and set up a little surprise for me.
"I will say no more," he went on. "You will know the rest [Pg 189] to-morrow; but the best, not until evening." I could think of nothing during dinner except what he had said, though it was so late, and I'd been so hungry. And afterwards, standing on the balcony outside my bedroom window looking down on a scene of fairy-like beauty, the wonderful white moonlight and thoughts of the Prince seemed to mingle together in my head, like some intoxicating draught. "Countess Dalmar, Princess Dalmar-Kalm," I kept saying over to myself, until the words wove themselves into a song in my brain, with the scent of the flowers for accompaniment.
"I won't say anything more," he continued. "You'll find out the rest [Pg 189] tomorrow; but the best part, not until evening." I couldn't focus on anything during dinner except for what he had said, even though it was late and I was really hungry. Later, while standing on the balcony outside my bedroom window and looking down at a scene that felt like something out of a fairytale, the beautiful white moonlight and thoughts of the Prince seemed to blend in my mind like a heady drink. "Countess Dalmar, Princess Dalmar-Kalm," I kept repeating to myself until the words turned into a melody in my head, accompanied by the scent of the flowers.
The whole house seems to have absorbed the perfumes of the garden, as if they had soaked into the wood. The corridors, the bedrooms, the wardrobes, even the chests of drawers, have the same delicate fragrance. It scented my dreams and told me where [Pg 190] we were when I waked in the morning, confused with sleep.
The whole house feels like it has soaked up the scents from the garden, as if they’ve permeated the wood. The hallways, the bedrooms, the closets, even the dressers, all carry the same subtle fragrance. It flavored my dreams and reminded me of where we were when I woke up in the morning, still groggy from sleep.
XVI
A CHAPTER OF ENCHANTMENT
A birthday must be happy spent in such an exquisite place, I told myself, when I'd got up and peeped out of the window upon a land of enchantment—even a birthday more advanced than one would choose. By morning light the lake was no longer sapphire, but had taken on a brilliant, opaque blue, like lapis lazuli. Umbrella pines were stretched in dark, jagged lines on an azure background. Black cypresses pointed warning fingers heavenward, rising tall and slim and solemn, out of a pink cloud of almond blossoms. The mountains towering round the lake, as if to protect its beauty with a kind of loving selfishness, had their green or rugged brown sides softened with a purplish glow like the bloom on a grape. And in the garden that flowed in waves of radiant colour from terrace to terrace, as water flows over a weir, roses and starry clematis, amethyst wistaria, rosy azalea, and a thousand lovely things I'd never seen before, mingled tints as in a mosaic of jewels.
A birthday has to be happily spent in such a beautiful place, I told myself, when I got up and peeked out the window at a magical land—even a birthday more advanced than one would choose. In the morning light, the lake was no longer sapphire but had taken on a bright, opaque blue, like lapis lazuli. Umbrella pines were lined up in dark, jagged shapes against an azure background. Black cypresses pointed warning fingers toward the sky, rising tall, slim, and serious out of a pink cloud of almond blossoms. The mountains surrounding the lake, as if to protect its beauty with a kind of loving selfishness, had their green or rugged brown sides softened with a purplish glow like the sheen on a grape. And in the garden that flowed in waves of vibrant color from terrace to terrace, like water cascading over a weir, roses and starry clematis, amethyst wisteria, rosy azalea, and a thousand lovely things I’d never seen before, blended colors like a mosaic of jewels.
I had lain awake in the night listening to a bird which I could almost have believed a fairy, and, though I'd never heard a nightingale, I wondered if he could be one. He said over and over again, through the white hours perfumed with roses and flooded with moonlight: "Do look, do look! Spirit, spirit, spirit!" And so, just in case he might have been calling me, I got up early to see what he had wanted me to see. Then I was gladder than ever that we had decided to spend at least that day and another [Pg 191] night at Serbelloni, for one might journey to all four corners of the globe and not find another place so magically beautiful.
I lay awake at night listening to a bird that I could almost believe was a fairy, and even though I’d never heard a nightingale, I wondered if that’s what it was. It repeated over and over again, through the bright hours filled with the scent of roses and bathed in moonlight: "Look, look! Spirit, spirit, spirit!" So, just in case it was calling me, I got up early to see what it wanted me to see. Then I was even happier that we had decided to spend at least that day and another [Pg 191] night at Serbelloni, because you could travel to every corner of the globe and still not find a place as magically beautiful.
Although I was up so early, perhaps I spent a longer time over my toilet than the two girls do over theirs; and when I was ready neither Maida nor Beechy were in their rooms. I had opened my door to go down and look for them when I came face to face with a waiter carrying an enormous bouquet. It was for me, with a perfectly lovely poem written by the Prince. At least, it was in his handwriting, so I suppose it was by him, and it was full of pretty allusions to an "adorable woman," with praises for the gracious day that gave her to the world. I was pleased! It was like going back and being a young girl again, and I could have sung for joy, as the bird did last night.
Although I was up so early, I probably took longer getting ready than the two girls do. When I was finally ready, neither Maida nor Beechy was in their rooms. I had just opened my door to go look for them when I ran into a waiter carrying a huge bouquet. It was for me, along with a beautifully written poem from the Prince. Well, it was in his handwriting, so I assume it was from him, and it was filled with lovely references to an "adorable woman" and praises for the wonderful day that brought her into the world. I was really happy! It felt like being a young girl again, and I could have burst into song, just like the bird did last night.
The rest of the party were on an entrancing terrace, looking down over other flowery terraces upon the town of Bellagio, with its charming old campanile, and its grey roofs like a flock of doves clustering together on the border of the lake. The water was so clear and still that the big hotels and villas on the opposite shore seemed to have fallen in head down, and each little red-and-white canopied boat waiting for passengers at the quay had its double in the bright blue mirror. Clouds and mountains were all reflected too, and it seemed as if one might take one's choice between the real world and the dream world.
The rest of the group was on a captivating terrace, looking down over other flower-filled terraces at the town of Bellagio, with its lovely old bell tower and gray roofs resembling a flock of doves gathered on the edge of the lake. The water was so clear and calm that the large hotels and villas on the opposite shore looked like they had fallen in headfirst, and each little red-and-white canopied boat waiting for passengers at the dock had its reflection in the bright blue surface. Clouds and mountains were also reflected, and it felt like you could choose between the real world and the dream world.
Maida and Beechy had already been for a walk with Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore, who had taken them up by a labyrinth of wooded paths to an old ruined castle which they described as crowning the head of the promontory. It had been built by the Romans, and in the Middle Ages was the stronghold of brigands, who captured beautiful ladies and terrorized the whole country. The girls were excited about some secret passages which they had found, leading down from the ruin to wonderful nooks screened on one side by trees and hanging over sheer abysses on the other. They wanted to show also an old chapel and a monks' burying ground which you had to reach by [Pg 192] scrambling down a narrow stairway attached to the precipitous rocks, like a spider web. But I had on my white suede shoes with the Louis Quinze heels, which look so well with a white dress and dark blue silk stockings; besides, I began to want my breakfast, and it would have been impolite to disappear before I thanked the Prince, who might come out at any moment.
Maida and Beechy had already gone for a walk with Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore, who had taken them through a maze of wooded paths to an old ruined castle they said sat on top of the promontory. It had been built by the Romans, and during the Middle Ages, it was a stronghold for bandits who would capture beautiful ladies and terrorize the entire region. The girls were thrilled about some secret passages they had discovered, leading down from the ruins to amazing spots sheltered by trees on one side and hovering over steep cliffs on the other. They also wanted to show an old chapel and a burial ground for monks, which you had to reach by [Pg 192] climbing down a narrow stairway that clung to the steep rocks like a spider web. But I was wearing my white suede shoes with Louis Quinze heels, which look great with a white dress and dark blue silk stockings; plus, I was starting to get hungry, and it would have been rude to leave without thanking the Prince, who might come out any moment.
We had our coffee and rolls in a kind of bower close to the terrace; and afterwards I did walk along the level path, fenced in with a tangle of roses—pink, and white, and gold, and crimson—as far as a high shelf, cut into the face of the sheer cliff which plunges vertically down, down into the blue-green water. The Prince was my companion, and he (who has distinguished friends in the neighbourhood, which he has visited before) told me a strange story of the place. Once, he said, the Princes of Stanga were lords of the land here, and a certain daughter of the house was famous as the handsomest and cruellest Princess of her time. Despite her dreadful disposition, she had crowds of lovers, whom she used to invite to walk with her by moonlight, after a tête-à-tête supper. She would lead them to this very spot on which we stood, and just as she had lured them on to make a burning declaration of love she would give a laugh, and a sudden push, which hurled them to death in the lake far below. How different, judging from what I have read in the ladies' magazines, from the home-life of our dear Princesses of to-day! And how different from my habits, if I am asked to become, and do become, a Princess. I should have liked to throw out some delicate little suggestion of this sort, and perhaps would have found the right words, had not Beechy appeared at that moment with Sir Ralph. Then my whole attention was taken up, as it had been during breakfast, by tactfully staving off any allusion on the Prince's part to my birthday. All was in vain, however; he said something gallant, and I was quite as giddy for a few seconds as one of the wicked Princess's lovers, lest Beechy should be in an impish mood and throw out allusions to my age. But she was as good as [Pg 193] a kitten, though she looked at me in a naughty way, and only said, "Would any one believe Mamma was twenty-nine to-day—if it weren't for Me?"
We had our coffee and pastries in a cozy spot near the terrace; afterwards, I walked along the flat path, lined with a tangle of roses—pink, white, gold, and crimson—until I reached a high ledge cut into the sheer cliff that dropped straight down into the blue-green water. The Prince was with me, and he, who has notable friends in the area and has visited before, shared a strange story about the place. He said that once, the Princes of Stanga ruled the land, and one daughter of the family was known as the most beautiful and cruelest Princess of her time. Despite her terrible nature, she had many admirers, whom she used to invite for moonlit walks after a private dinner. She would take them to this very spot where we stood, and just as they were about to confess their love, she would laugh and give a sudden push that sent them to their deaths in the lake far below. How different, judging from what I’ve read in the ladies' magazines, is the home life of our dear Princesses today! And how different from my own habits, if I am asked to become a Princess. I would have liked to drop a hint about this, and I might have found the right words, if Beechy hadn’t shown up at that moment with Sir Ralph. Then my entire focus shifted, just like during breakfast, as I tried to steer the Prince away from mentioning my birthday. All my efforts were in vain; he said something charming, and for a few seconds, I felt as dizzy as one of the wicked Princess's lovers, worried that Beechy would be in a mischievous mood and tease me about my age. But she was as sweet as a kitten, even though she looked at me mischievously and simply said, "Would anyone believe Mamma is twenty-nine today—if it weren't for me?"
When we went indoors afterwards I gave her that ruby heart ring of mine that she likes.
When we went inside afterwards, I gave her that ruby heart ring of mine that she loves.
All day long we were busy doing agreeable things. We lunched down by the lake shore, in the garden of a big hotel there, and afterwards were rowed across to Cadenabbia, in one of the canopied boats, to visit the Villa Carlotta in its wonderful terraced garden. I was delighted with the boat and the man who rowed us, in his white clothes and scarlet sash, but the Prince half-whispered in my ear that he was going to show me something better in the evening, when the time came for the "birthday surprise" about which I must please say nothing—not even to Beechy.
All day long, we were busy doing enjoyable things. We had lunch by the lakeshore, in the garden of a big hotel there, and afterwards, we were rowed across to Cadenabbia in one of those canopied boats to visit the Villa Carlotta and its stunning terraced garden. I loved the boat and the guy who rowed us, dressed in his white clothes and red sash, but the Prince half-whispered in my ear that he was going to show me something even better in the evening for the "birthday surprise," and I must absolutely say nothing about it—not even to Beechy.
We had coffee at the most idyllic spot imaginable, which we reached by leaving the boat and mounting rather a steep path that went up beside a baby cascade. At the top was a shady terrace, with arbours of grape vines and roses, and a peasant's house, where the people live who waited upon us. We had thick cream for our coffee, and delicious stuff with raisins in it and sugar on top, which was neither bread nor cake. I wanted the recipe for it, but I didn't like to get any one to ask; and perhaps it wouldn't taste the same in Denver. Oh dear me, I begin to think there are lots of things that won't taste the same in Denver! But I should love better than anything to go back with a high title, and see what some of those society women, who turned up their noses at me when I was only Mrs. Simon Kidder, would do then. There isn't one who has a right to put crowns on her baggage or anywhere else, and I've got that already, whatever happens by and by.
We had coffee at the most perfect spot you can imagine, which we got to by leaving the boat and taking a pretty steep path beside a little waterfall. At the top was a shady terrace, with trellises of grapevines and roses, and a peasant's house where the people who served us lived. We had thick cream for our coffee, and a delicious treat with raisins and sugar on top, which was neither bread nor cake. I wanted the recipe for it, but I didn't want to ask anyone; and maybe it wouldn't taste the same in Denver. Oh dear, I'm starting to think there are a lot of things that won't taste the same in Denver! But I would love more than anything to go back with a fancy title and see what those society women, who looked down on me when I was just Mrs. Simon Kidder, would do then. Not one of them has the right to put crowns on their luggage or anywhere else, and I've already got that, no matter what happens later.
We were rowed back to Bellagio again, and climbed up by a short cut to the Villa Serbelloni just in time to escape a storm on the lake. In a flower-draped cave above our favourite terrace, we sat in garden chairs and watched the effect, while Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph talked about Pliny, whose statue was nearby, [Pg 194] and some strange old general of Napoleon's who lived for awhile at the Villa Serbolloni, and terrorized people who wanted him to pay his debts, by keeping fierce, hungry bloodhounds to patrol the place night and day.
We were rowed back to Bellagio again and took a shortcut up to the Villa Serbelloni just in time to avoid a storm on the lake. In a flower-filled cave above our favorite terrace, we sat in garden chairs and watched the scene unfold while Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph chatted about Pliny, whose statue was nearby, [Pg 194] and some mysterious old general from Napoleon's time who lived for a while at the Villa Serbelloni, frightening anyone who asked him to pay his debts by keeping fierce, hungry bloodhounds on patrol day and night.
When you are nicely sheltered, to watch rain falling in the distance, and marching like troops of grey ghosts along the sky, is something like watching other people's troubles comfortably, while you are happy yourself—though Maida would think that a selfish speech. Anyway, the effect of that storm was thrilling. First, Nature seemed to stop smiling and grow very grave as the shadows deepened among the mountains. Then, suddenly the thing happened which she had been expecting. A spurt of ink was flung across the sky and lake, leaving on the left a wall of blue, on the right an open door of gold. Black feathers drooped from the sky and trailed across the roughened water, to be blown away from sight as the storm passed from our lake to another; and when they had vanished, out came the sun again to shine through violet mists which bathed the mountain sides, and made their peaks seem to rise from a transparent sea.
When you're comfortably sheltered, watching the rain fall in the distance, moving like troops of gray ghosts across the sky, it feels a bit like observing other people's problems from a cozy spot while you’re happy yourself—though Maida would probably think that’s a selfish thing to say. Still, the impact of that storm was exhilarating. At first, Nature seemed to stop smiling and took on a serious tone as the shadows deepened among the mountains. Then, suddenly, what she had been anticipating happened. A burst of ink was thrown across the sky and lake, leaving a wall of blue on the left and an open door of gold on the right. Black feathers fell from the sky and drifted across the choppy water, only to be swept out of sight as the storm moved from our lake to another; and when they disappeared, the sun emerged once more, shining through violet mists that bathed the mountain sides and made their peaks appear to rise from a clear sea.
We could not tear ourselves away until sunset; and by the time we had dressed for dinner, the rising moon had traced a path of silver from shore to shore, across the pansy-purple water, where the lights of Cadennabia were sending golden ladders down to the bottom of the lake.
We couldn’t pull ourselves away until sunset; and by the time we got ready for dinner, the rising moon had drawn a silver line from shore to shore, across the deep purple water, where the lights of Cadennabia were casting golden reflections down to the bottom of the lake.
I supposed that we would dine indoors, but the arbour where we had breakfasted was illuminated with coloured lanterns, which gleamed like rubies and emeralds and topazes among the dark tree branches, and the trails of roses and wistaria. "This is part of my surprise," said the Prince. "I have arranged this in honour of your birthday, dear Countess. No, don't thank me. Is it not my greatest pleasure to think of you?"
I thought we would eat inside, but the arbor where we had breakfast was lit up with colorful lanterns that sparkled like rubies, emeralds, and topazes among the dark branches of the trees and the vines of roses and wisteria. "This is part of my surprise," said the Prince. "I set this up to celebrate your birthday, dear Countess. No need to thank me. It's my greatest joy to think of you."
Perhaps it was because I was in a mood to be pleased with everything, but it did seem as if I had never tasted such a dinner as that was. We had every delicacy in and out of season, a fruit salad which is a specialty of the house, made of strawberries, [Pg 195] fresh figs, cherries, pineapples, and almonds; and when I thought that all the surprise was over, along the terrace came a procession of green, blue and rose-coloured lights, as if fairies were flitting among the trees. But the fairies turned out to be waiters, bringing illuminated ices in fantastic shapes, and a birthday cake for me lighted with twenty-nine tiny wax candles.
Maybe it was because I was in a good mood, but it really felt like I had never had a dinner quite like that one. We had every kind of delicacy, both seasonal and out of season, including a fruit salad that was their specialty, made with strawberries, [Pg 195] fresh figs, cherries, pineapples, and almonds. Just when I thought the surprises were over, a procession of green, blue, and pink lights appeared along the terrace, as if fairies were dancing among the trees. But the fairies turned out to be waiters, bringing illuminated desserts in amazing shapes, along with a birthday cake for me, lit with twenty-nine tiny wax candles.
All had been thought of by the Prince; and if there had been any doubt in my mind before, I now saw that he really loved me for myself alone. When everybody had wished me good wishes, blowing out the candles as they wished, we left the table to stroll about in the moonlight, and the Prince and I got separated from the others. "Ah, but this isn't all," he broke in, when I was trying to tell him how much I appreciated what he had done. "The best, I hope, is to come, if you will trust yourself to me for a little while."
All of this had been planned by the Prince; and if I had any doubts before, I now realized that he truly loved me for who I am. After everyone shared their good wishes, blowing out the candles, we left the table to walk in the moonlight, and the Prince and I drifted away from the others. "Oh, but this isn't everything," he interrupted as I was trying to express how much I appreciated what he had done. "The best, I hope, is yet to come, if you will trust me for a little while."
I was ready to do so for any length of time, and when he had sent to the house for my wrap, and was leading me down a sloping path which I hadn't seen before, my curiosity bubbled like a tea-kettle beginning to boil.
I was prepared to do this for however long it took, and when he sent someone to the house for my jacket and was guiding me down a slope I hadn’t noticed before, my curiosity bubbled up like a kettle starting to boil.
"We are going to the little harbour on the Lecco side," he explained, "and there—you shall see what you shall see."
"We're heading to the small harbor on the Lecco side," he explained, "and there—you'll see what you’ll see."
"Are you planning to run away with me?" I asked, laughing.
"Are you planning to run away with me?" I asked, laughing.
"Perhaps," said he, "and as fast as if we were in my automobile, though we shall travel by water."
"Maybe," he said, "and just as quickly as if we were in my car, even though we’ll be traveling by water."
I couldn't think what he meant, until we arrived at the harbour of which he had spoken. There, among two or three canopied row-boats was one as different as a swan is from geese. It had no canopy; and as the Prince brought me down to the quay, a man who had been sitting in the boat jumped up and touched his cap, which was shaped like a chauffeur's. And sure enough it was a chauffeur's, for this was a motor-boat, which had been lent by friends to Prince Dalmar-Kalm, especially for him to take me on the lake by moonlight.
I couldn't figure out what he meant until we got to the harbor he mentioned. There, among a couple of canopied rowboats, was one that stood out like a swan among geese. It had no canopy; and as the Prince led me down to the dock, a man who had been sitting in the boat jumped up and tipped his hat, which looked like a chauffeur's hat. And sure enough, it was a chauffeur's hat because this was a motorboat that had been borrowed from friends for Prince Dalmar-Kalm, specifically for him to take me out on the lake by moonlight.
He told me that he had hurried to Bellagio on purpose to borrow [Pg 196] it, and if we did not leave too early to-morrow the people would call on me—distinguished people, who would delight in doing honour to the "American Countess."
He told me that he had rushed to Bellagio on purpose to borrow [Pg 196] it, and if we didn't leave too early tomorrow, people would come to see me—important people who would love to honor the "American Countess."
Those were his very words; and he was so kind that I hadn't the heart to let him see I was frightened to go out in the motor-boat. I should have been far happier in a slow, comfortable old row-boat; and when I found that the Prince intended to leave the chauffeur behind, and manage the thing himself, my heart felt as if it had melted and begun to trickle down between my ribs. It did seem hard, just as I had got used to a motor-car, to have this new experience thrust upon me, all unprepared. Often I had thought what noble sentiments one ought to utter while driving in an automobile, considering that, at any moment your next words might be your last! but as we shot away from that little quay, out into the cold white path of the moon, I felt that to save my life I couldn't have uttered any sentiments at all.
Those were his exact words; and he was so nice that I didn't have the heart to let him know I was scared to go out in the motorboat. I would have felt much better in a slow, comfy old rowboat; and when I realized that the Prince planned to leave the chauffeur behind and take the wheel himself, my heart felt like it had melted and started to drip down between my ribs. It really seemed unfair, just when I had gotten used to a car, to have this new experience forced on me without any preparation. I often thought about what meaningful things one should say while driving in a car, knowing that at any moment, your next words could be your last! But as we sped away from that little dock and out into the cold, bright path of the moon, I felt that I couldn't have said anything meaningful to save my life.
The Prince, however, appeared to be happy, and to have perfect confidence in himself, in spite of the water looking twice as wet as it had looked in the afternoon. This motor was of the same make as that in his car, he said; it was by his advice that his friends had bought it, therefore he understood it very well, and where would I like to go?
The Prince, however, seemed happy and completely confident in himself, even though the water looked twice as wet as it had in the afternoon. He said this motor was the same make as the one in his car; it was on his recommendation that his friends bought it, so he understood it very well. "Where would you like to go?" he asked.
"Anywhere," I answered, as pleasantly as a woman can, whose heart has just turned to water.
"Anywhere," I replied, as nicely as a woman can, whose heart has just melted.
"If I could but flatter myself that you meant anywhere with me!" he exclaimed. "To me, also, our destination is indifferent, provided that I am with you and have you to myself, undisturbed by others not worthy to approach you. Do you know, Countess, this is the first time you have ever been alone with me, for more than a few moments?"
"If I could just convince myself that you meant anywhere with me!" he exclaimed. "For me, our destination doesn't matter, as long as I'm with you and have you to myself, without others who don't deserve to be near you. Do you realize, Countess, this is the first time we've ever been alone together for more than a few moments?"
"It's only been a few minutes now," I faltered, for the sake of something to say.
"It's only been a few minutes," I stammered, trying to find something to say.
"Ah, but it will be many minutes before I give you up," said he, "unless you are cruel."
"Ah, but it'll be a long time before I let you go," he said, "unless you're heartless."
[Pg 197] My heart began to beat fast, for his manner made me guess that something special was coming, and though I had often thought such a moment might arrive, and decided, or almost decided, how I would act, when it was actually at hand it seemed more tremendous than I had supposed.
[Pg 197] My heart started racing because his demeanor made me feel like something special was about to happen. Even though I had often imagined this moment might come and had almost decided how I would react, when it finally arrived, it felt even more overwhelming than I had expected.
"You must try to keep me in good humour, then," said I; but though the moon was beautifully romantic, and I felt he was looking at me with his whole soul in his eyes, I couldn't help keeping one of mine glued on the steering gear, or whatever one ought to call it, and wondering whether he was paying as much attention to it as he was to me.
"You need to try to keep me in a good mood, then," I said; but even though the moon was beautifully romantic, and I felt like he was looking at me with all his heart in his eyes, I couldn't help but keep one of mine focused on the steering mechanism, or whatever you should call it, and I wondered if he was paying as much attention to it as he was to me.
"I am more anxious to please you than anything else in the world; you must have seen that long ago," he went on, moving closer. I gave a little bound, because the boat was certainly going in zigzags, and he was so near that by accident I jogged his elbow. With that, the boat darted off to the left, at twice the rate it had been going. I screamed under my breath, as Beechy says, and caught hold of the seat with both hands. The Prince did something in a hurry to the machinery, and suddenly the engine was as still as death. The boat went on for a few yards, as if by its own impetus, and then began to float helplessly.
"I’m more eager to make you happy than anything else in the world; you must have noticed that a long time ago," he continued, moving closer. I jolted a bit because the boat was definitely swerving, and he was so close that I accidentally nudged his elbow. With that, the boat shot off to the left at twice the speed it had been moving. I gasped quietly, as Beechy would say, and gripped the seat with both hands. The Prince quickly adjusted something in the machinery, and suddenly the engine went completely silent. The boat drifted a few yards, as if moving on its own momentum, and then began to float aimlessly.
"I've stopped the motor by mistake," he explained. "I will start it again soon, but let us remain as we are for the present. It is so delicious to rock quietly on the little waves with you beside me, and the rest of the world far away."
"I accidentally turned off the motor," he said. "I'll start it up again soon, but for now, let’s just stay as we are. It's so nice to gently rock on the little waves with you beside me and the rest of the world far away."
"Oh, but the waves aren't so very little," I said. "The water hasn't smoothed down since the storm. It's awfully nice and poetic, but don't you think it would be still nicer if you just steered?"
"Oh, but the waves aren't that small," I said. "The water hasn't calmed down since the storm. It's really nice and poetic, but don't you think it would be even nicer if you just steered?"
"I cannot steer the boat unless the motor is working," he replied. "But there is no danger of our being run down at this time. The moon lights the water with a great white lamp."
"I can’t steer the boat unless the motor is running," he replied. "But there’s no risk of us being hit right now. The moon shines on the water like a bright white lamp."
"Yes, but look at that big, dark cloud," said I, pointing up. "It will be putting out the light of the lamp in about five minutes. And—and I do see things moving on the water. When the moon [Pg 198] is obscured, we might have a collision."
"Yeah, but check out that big, dark cloud," I said, pointing up. "It's going to block the lamp's light in about five minutes. And—I do see things moving on the water. When the moon [Pg 198] is hidden, we might end up colliding."
The Prince looked up and saw the cloud too. "Very well," he said. "I will start the motor at once on one condition—that you do not ask me to take you home for an hour, at least."
The Prince looked up and saw the cloud too. "Okay," he said. "I’ll start the engine right away on one condition—that you don’t ask me to take you home for at least an hour."
"I promise that," I answered, quite shyly.
"I promise," I replied, feeling a bit shy.
Instantly he set to work at the motor; but it wouldn't start. The Prince did a great many things, and even lighted dozens of matches, to see what was the matter, but not a throb would the engine give.
Instantly, he got to work on the engine, but it wouldn't start. The Prince tried a lot of things and even lit dozens of matches to figure out what was wrong, but the engine didn't make a sound.
"I am afraid," he announced at last, in a voice that tried not to sound cross, "I'm afraid the sparking-plug is broken."
"I'm sorry," he said finally, in a tone that aimed to sound calm, "but I think the spark plug is broken."
"Well?" said I, "What then? Shall we be drowned?"
"Well?" I said, "What now? Are we going to drown?"
"Not at all," he reassured me, taking my hand. "We shall only drift about until some one comes to our rescue, as unfortunately there are no oars on board. If I thought you were not unhappy, I could rejoice in the accident."
"Not at all," he reassured me, taking my hand. "We'll just float around until someone comes to rescue us, since unfortunately there are no oars on board. If I thought you weren't upset, I could actually feel happy about the accident."
I let him keep my hand, but I couldn't feel as happy as I ought, to be polite. "It's—it's very interesting," I stammered, "but they don't know where we are, and they'll never think to search the lake for us!"
I let him hold my hand, but I couldn't feel as happy as I should, just to be polite. "It's—it's really interesting," I stammered, "but they don't know where we are, and they'll never think to look for us at the lake!"
"The chauffeur will come to see what is wrong if I do not get the boat back by a little after midnight," said the Prince
"The driver will come to check what's wrong if I don't get the boat back by just after midnight," said the Prince.
"A little after midnight!" I echoed. "But that would be awful! What would they think? And oh, see, the cloud's over the moon! Ugh, how dark it is. We shall certainly be run down. Couldn't we call for help?"
"A little after midnight!" I repeated. "But that would be terrible! What would they think? And oh, look, the cloud's covering the moon! Ugh, it's so dark. We're definitely going to get hit. Can't we call for help?"
"We are a long way already from the shore," said the Prince; "and besides it is not dignified to shout. By and by some one will come. Meanwhile, let us enjoy ourselves. Dear Countess, I confess I brought you here to-night—your birthday night—for a purpose. Will you listen while I tell you what it is?"
"We're already quite far from the shore," said the Prince; "and it’s not classy to shout. Eventually, someone will come. In the meantime, let's enjoy ourselves. Dear Countess, I have to admit I brought you here tonight—your birthday night—for a reason. Will you listen while I tell you what that is?"
"Sh! Wait one minute. Aren't those voices in the distance, and don't you see something big and dark bearing down upon us?"
"Shh! Hold on a second. Aren't those voices we hear in the distance, and do you see something big and dark coming toward us?"
"They exist but in your imagination," answered the Prince; "Or is it only that you wish to put me off?"
"They're just in your imagination," the Prince replied. "Or are you just trying to distract me?"
[Pg 199] "Oh, no; I wouldn't be so rude," said I. "Please excuse me." But I was on pins and needles, trying to keep an eye in every direction at once (as if I'd had a headlight in my face) and to make the most of my situation at the same time.
[Pg 199] "Oh, no; I wouldn't be that rude," I said. "Please forgive me." But I was extremely anxious, trying to watch every direction at once (like I had a spotlight aimed at me) while also trying to make the best of my situation.
"Then I will no longer strain my patience," cried the Prince in a warm voice. "Dearest Countess, I am at your feet."
"Then I won't hold back my patience any longer," the Prince exclaimed warmly. "Dearest Countess, I am at your feet."
And so he was, for he went right down on his knees in the bottom of the boat, kneeling on my dress so that I couldn't have stirred an inch if I'd wanted to, which I didn't; for I meant to accept him. He had had only my right hand, but now he seized the left, too, and began to kiss, first one, and then the other, as if I'd been a queen.
And that's what he did, because he went down on his knees in the bottom of the boat, kneeling on my dress so I couldn't move at all, not that I wanted to; I was ready to accept him. He had only held my right hand before, but now he grabbed my left hand as well and started kissing both, as if I were a queen.
This was the first time a man had ever gone down on his knees to me, for the Prince is the only foreign gentleman I ever knew, and Mr. Kidder proposed in a buggy. Afraid as I was of a collision, I was enjoying myself very much, when suddenly a horrid thing happened. A great white light pounced upon us like a hawk on a chicken, and focussed on us as if we were a tableau. It was so bright, shining all over us and into our eyes, that it made everything else except just the Prince and me, and our boat, look black, as if it were raining ink. And we were so taken aback with surprise, that for an instant or two we kept our position exactly as if we were sitting for our photographs, the Prince kneeling at my feet and kissing my hands, I bending down my face over his head.
This was the first time a man had ever gotten down on his knees for me, since the Prince is the only foreign gentleman I’ve ever known, and Mr. Kidder proposed in a buggy. As scared as I was of a collision, I was enjoying myself a lot when suddenly something horrible happened. A huge white light swooped down on us like a hawk on a chicken and focused on us as if we were a scene from a play. It was so bright, shining over us and into our eyes, that everything else except the Prince and me, and our boat, looked black, as if it were pouring ink. We were so shocked that for a moment or two we stayed in position as if we were posing for a photograph, with the Prince kneeling at my feet and kissing my hands while I bent my face down over his head.
I never experienced such a moment in my life, and the thought flashed into my head that it was Simon's ghost come to forbid my second marriage. This idea was so frightful, that it was actually a relief to hear a vulgar shout of laughter coming from the other end of the light, wherever that was.
I had never experienced a moment like this in my life, and the thought suddenly popped into my head that it was Simon's ghost coming to stop my second marriage. This idea was so terrifying that hearing a crude shout of laughter from the other end of the light, wherever that was, actually felt like a relief.
The Prince recovered before I did, and jerked himself up to a sitting posture on the seat, exclaiming something in German, which I am afraid was swearing.
The Prince bounced back up before I did and sat upright on the seat, shouting something in German, which I’m afraid was swearing.
"Those Italian ruffians of the douane, with their disgusting search-light!" he sputtered in English when he was recovering [Pg 200] himself a little. "But do not derange yourself, Countess. They have seen that we are not smugglers, which is one advantage, because they will not trouble us any more."
"Those Italian thugs at the douane, with their awful searchlight!" he blurted out in English as he was regaining his composure a bit. [Pg 200] "But don’t worry yourself, Countess. They realized we’re not smugglers, which is one good thing, because they won’t bother us anymore."
All this time the light was in our faces, and the hateful customs people could see every feature, down to the shortest eyelash. When they did turn the horrid white stream in another direction, I felt as weak as if the search-light had been a stream of cold water.
All this time the light was in our faces, and the annoying customs agents could see every detail, down to the tiniest eyelash. When they finally directed the terrible white beam somewhere else, I felt as weak as if the spotlight had been a stream of cold water.
I tried not to be hysterical, but I couldn't help crying and laughing alternately, especially when the Prince would have taken my hands and begun all over again.
I tried to stay calm, but I couldn't stop myself from crying and laughing back and forth, especially when the Prince would take my hands and start over again.
"'Ware the light!" I gasped, as nervous as a cat that hears a mouse in the wall. And though I really did want the Prince to propose to me, and was anxious to say that I would be his princess, in the circumstances I was as thankful as I was astonished to hear Beechy's voice calling to me across the water.
"'Watch out for the light!" I gasped, as nervous as a cat that hears a mouse in the wall. And even though I really wanted the Prince to propose to me and was eager to say that I would be his princess, given the situation, I was as grateful as I was surprised to hear Beechy's voice calling to me from across the water.
In five minutes more a row-boat containing all the members of our party came alongside, and the lights in our bow and theirs showed us their faces, though the moon was still hiding her face in her hands with a pair of black gloves on.
In another five minutes, a rowboat with all the members of our group pulled up alongside us, and the lights in our boat and theirs revealed their faces, even though the moon was still covering her face with a pair of black gloves.
"We thought you'd gone down to the lake," said Beechy, "so I persuaded the others to come too; but we never dreamed you were in a motor-boat, or whereabouts you were, till we saw you."
"We thought you went down to the lake," said Beechy, "so I convinced the others to come along too; but we never imagined you were in a motorboat, or where you were, until we saw you."
I felt myself get as red as fire; though, when one comes to think of it, I am my own mistress, and Beechy can't keep me from doing anything that I've made up my mind to do.
I felt myself blushing fiercely; but when you think about it, I’m in charge of my own life, and Beechy can’t stop me from doing anything I’ve decided to do.
"This boat belongs to a friend of the Prince's," I explained. "We were trying it when it broke down, and he has been examining the motor."
"This boat belongs to a friend of the Prince," I explained. "We were testing it when it broke down, and he's been looking at the motor."
"So I noticed," remarked Beechy. "I guess you're a little near-sighted, aren't you, Prince?"
"So I noticed," said Beechy. "I guess you're a bit near-sighted, huh, Prince?"
He did not answer her, but explained to Mr. Barrymore the cause of the accident, and asked to be towed into harbour.
He didn't answer her, but explained to Mr. Barrymore what caused the accident and asked to be towed into the harbor.
Of course, my evening was spoiled. I tried to laugh it off and say how Providential it was they had come to our rescue; but [Pg 201] though I kept telling myself every minute that there was no need for me to mind Beechy, I dreaded meeting her alone. However, the evil moment wouldn't be put off forever, and she came along the balcony from her window to mine when I had shut myself up in my bedroom.
Of course, my evening was ruined. I tried to laugh it off and say how lucky it was that they had come to help us; but [Pg 201] even though I kept reminding myself that I shouldn’t be bothered by Beechy, I was anxious about facing her alone. However, I couldn’t avoid the inevitable, and she walked along the balcony from her window to mine while I had locked myself in my bedroom.
I expected her to fly out at me, but her manner was the same as usual.
I thought she would lash out at me, but she was acting just like always.
"Want me to undo your frock behind, Mamma?" she asked.
"Do you want me to undo your dress in the back, Mom?" she asked.
Then, when she had got me half unhooked: "Tell me what the Prince said when he proposed."
Then, when she had me almost unhooked, she said, "Tell me what the Prince said when he proposed."
"He didn't propose," said I.
"He didn't propose," I said.
"If he didn't I shall ask Sir Ralph to call him out. He'd no business kissing your hands unless he'd proposed."
"If he didn’t, I’ll ask Sir Ralph to challenge him. He had no right to kiss your hands unless he proposed."
I was surprised at this attitude. But it made me feel confidential. "He hadn't had a chance," I volunteered. "He was just going to, when the search-light—"
I was surprised by this attitude. But it made me feel like I could share something personal. "He didn't have a chance," I said. "He was just about to, when the searchlight—"
"—Searched. Lucky for you the interruption came at the right moment."
"—Looked for it. You were lucky that the interruption happened at just the right time."
"Why? I thought—"
"Why? I thought—"
"Because it saved you the pain of refusing him."
"Because it spared you the discomfort of turning him down."
"But, Beechy darling, I don't think I was going to refuse him."
"But, Beechy darling, I don’t think I was going to say no to him."
"Don't you? Well, I do. I'm sure of it."
"Don't you? I definitely do. I'm certain of it."
"Dearest, if you wouldn't look at me in that square-chinned way! It's so like your poor Papa."
"Darling, please don’t look at me like that with your strong jaw! It reminds me so much of your poor dad."
"I'm Papa's daughter. But I don't intend to be Prince Dalmar-Kalm's step-daughter."
"I'm Papa's daughter. But I don't plan to be Prince Dalmar-Kalm's stepdaughter."
I began to cry a little. "Why do you always try to thwart me when I want to be happy?" I asked.
I started to cry a bit. "Why do you always try to stop me when I just want to be happy?" I asked.
"That isn't fair to say. Look at my short dress and my hair in pigtails. There's proof enough of what I'm ready to do to make you happy. I let you be a Countess, and you may be a Princess if you can buy the title, but no Princes on this ranch!"
"That's not fair to say. Look at my short dress and my hair in pigtails. That's clear evidence of what I'm willing to do to make you happy. I let you be a Countess, and you can be a Princess if you can buy the title, but no Princes on this ranch!"
My blood was up, and I determined to fight. "Beechy," I exclaimed. [Pg 202] "I guess I've a right to do as I like, and I will. It's for your good as well as mine, for me to marry a title, and I'm going to. I shall say 'yes' when the Prince proposes."
My heart was racing, and I was ready to fight. "Beechy," I said. [Pg 202] "I think I have the right to do what I want, and I will. It's for both our benefits if I marry someone with a title, and that's exactly what I’m going to do. I’ll say 'yes' when the Prince asks."
"He won't propose," said she, suddenly as cool as if she had been in a refrigerator.
"He won't propose," she said, suddenly as cold as if she had been in a fridge.
"He will, the minute I give him the opportunity, and I shall to-morrow; I don't care what you do."
"He will the moment I give him the chance, and I will tomorrow; I don't care what you do."
"I bet he won't. I'll bet you a good deal. Anything you like, except the long dress I've got in my trunk, and the package of hairpins in my grip."
"I bet he won't. I'll wager you a significant amount. Anything you want, except for the long dress I have in my trunk and the pack of hairpins in my bag."
"What makes you think he won't?" I asked, worried by her manner, which was odd.
"What makes you think he won't?" I asked, concerned by her behavior, which was strange.
"I know he won't."
"I know he won't."
"You know the Prince will never propose to me?"
"You know the Prince is never going to propose to me?"
She nodded.
She agreed.
I flew at her, and took her by the shoulders, as if she'd been seven instead of—her present age.
I rushed at her and grabbed her by the shoulders, as if she were seven instead of—her current age.
"You cruel girl!" I exclaimed. "You're going to tell him how old I am, and—and a lot of hateful things."
"You mean girl!" I said. "You're going to tell him how old I am, and— and a bunch of awful things."
"No, I'm not, and for a good reason. It wouldn't change his mind. So long as your banking account's all right, he wouldn't care if you were Methusaleh. I shan't tell him anything about you. I shan't mention your name. But he won't propose."
"No, I'm not, and for a good reason. It wouldn't change his mind. As long as your bank account is fine, he wouldn’t care if you were Methuselah. I won’t tell him anything about you. I won’t mention your name. But he won't propose."
"What are you going to do?" I stammered.
"What are you going to do?" I stuttered.
"That's my secret."
"That's my secret."
"Oh, you have got something in your head?"
"Oh, do you have something on your mind?"
She nodded again. "And up my sleeve."
She nodded again. "And in my sleeve."
"You will poison his mind."
"You will corrupt his mind."
"No, I won't. I shall only—play dolls."
"No, I won't. I'll just play with dolls."
And she went on unfastening my waist.
And she kept unbuttoning my waist.
PART IV
TOLD BY MAIDA DESTREY
XVII
A CHAPTER OF MOTOR MANIA
What becomes of the beautiful army of days marching away from us into the past? The wonderful days, each one differing from all the others: some shining in our memory, in glory of purple and gold, that we saw only as they passed, with the setting of the sun; some smiling back at us, in their pale spring dress of green and rose; some weeping in grey; but all moving at the same pace along the same road? The strange days that have given us everything they had to give, and yet have taken from us little pieces of our souls. Where do the days go? There must be some splendid world where, when they have passed down to the end of the long road, they all live together like queens, waited upon by those black slaves, the nights that have followed them like their shadows, holding up their robes.
What happens to the beautiful days marching away from us into the past? The amazing days, each one unique: some shining in our memory, in glory of purple and gold, that we only saw as they passed, with the sunset; some smiling back at us, in their soft spring colors of green and pink; some crying in gray; but all moving at the same speed along the same path? The strange days that have given us everything they could, yet have taken little pieces of our souls. Where do the days go? There must be some magnificent world where, after traveling down the long road, they all live together like queens, waited on by those dark servants, the nights that have followed them like shadows, holding up their gowns.
I've had this thought in my mind often since I have been flashing across Europe in an automobile, grudging each day that slipped from me and would not stay a moment longer because I loved it. I wish I knew the way to the land where the days that have passed live; for when those that are to come seem cold to me, I would like to go and pay the old ones a visit. How well I would know their faces, and how glad I would be to see them again in their own world!
I've often thought about this while driving across Europe, annoyed every day that slipped away and wouldn't stay a moment longer because I loved it. I wish I knew the way to the place where the days that have passed still exist; when the upcoming days seem cold to me, I would love to go and visit the old ones. I would recognize their faces so well, and I would be so happy to see them again in their own world!
Well, perhaps, even though I can never find the way there, I can see the days' portraits painted in rows in the picture gallery of [Pg 205] a house I own. It isn't a very big house yet, but at least one new room is being built onto it every year, and lately it has grown faster than ever before, though the architecture has improved. Fancy my being a householder! But I am, and so is everybody. We all have the House of our Past, of which we alone have a key, and whenever we wish, we can steal softly, secretly in, by dim passages, to enter rooms sealed to the whole world except ourselves.
Well, maybe even though I can never figure out how to get there, I can see the days' portraits lined up in the picture gallery of [Pg 205] a house I own. It's not a very big house yet, but at least one new room is added every year, and recently it's been growing faster than ever, even though the design has improved. Can you believe I’m a homeowner? But I am, just like everyone else. We all have the House of our Past, and we each have our own key. Whenever we want, we can quietly slip in through shadowy hallways to enter rooms locked to the entire world except for us.
I have been making the picture gallery in mine, since I left America; but the pictures I care for most have been put up since I began motoring.
I have been creating the picture gallery in my space since I left America, but the pictures I care about the most have been added since I started driving.
I suppose some very rich natures can be rich without travel, for they are born with caskets already full of jewels; but ordinary folk have empty caskets if they keep them shut up always in one safe, and I begin to see that mine were but poor things. I keep them wide open now, and every day, every hour, a beautiful new pearl or diamond drops in.
I guess some really wealthy people can stay rich without traveling, since they're born with their treasure chests already filled with jewels. But everyday people have empty chests if they always keep them locked in one place, and I'm starting to realize that mine were pretty worthless. Now I keep them wide open, and every day, every hour, a beautiful new pearl or diamond gets added.
It seems strange to remember how reluctant I was to come away. I thought there could be nothing more beautiful, more satisfying to eyes and heart, than my home. The white, colonial house set back from the broad Hudson River among locust trees and tall, rustling maples; the sloping lawn, with the beds of geranium and verbena; the garden with its dear, old-fashioned flowers—holly-hocks, sweet-williams, bleeding-hearts, grass pinks, and yellow roses; the grey-green hills across the water; that picture stood to me for all that was ideal on earth. And then, the Sisters, with their soft ways and soft voices, their white robes and pale blue, floating veils; how their gracious figures blended with and accentuated the peaceful charm of the scene, shut away from the storms of this world throughout their lives!
It seems odd to think about how hesitant I was to leave. I believed there was nothing more beautiful or fulfilling for my eyes and heart than my home. The white colonial house set back from the wide Hudson River, surrounded by locust trees and tall, rustling maples; the sloping lawn with beds of geraniums and verbenas; the garden filled with beloved, old-fashioned flowers—hollyhocks, sweetwilliams, bleeding hearts, grass pinks, and yellow roses; the gray-green hills across the water; that scene represented everything ideal in the world to me. And then, the Sisters, with their gentle ways and soft voices, their white robes and pale blue floating veils; how their graceful figures blended with and enhanced the peaceful charm of the scene, sheltered from the storms of this world throughout their lives!
I was partly right, for of its kind there could be nothing more beautiful than that picture, but my mistake was in the narrow-minded wish to let one suffice. I rejoice now in every new one I have hung up, and shall rejoice all the more when I am back again myself—just one of those white figures that flit across the [Pg 206] old canvas.
I was partly right because there’s nothing more beautiful of its kind than that picture, but I was wrong to think that just one would be enough. I appreciate every new one I’ve hung up now, and I’ll appreciate them even more when I’m back myself—just one of those white figures that flit across the [Pg 206] old canvas.
Yes, I shall be one of those figures, of course. The Mother has always told me it was my true vocation; that peace and leisure for reflection and concentration of mind were the greatest earthly blessings a woman could have. Ever since, as a very small girl, I longed for the day when I should be allowed to wear one of those pretty, trailing, white cashmere dresses and long, pale blue veils, I have looked forward to joining the Sisterhood of good women who alone have ever given me love and the protection of home.
Yes, I'll definitely be one of those figures. The Mother has always told me it was my true calling; that peace and time for reflection and focus are the greatest earthly blessings a woman can have. Ever since I was a little girl, wishing for the day I'd get to wear one of those beautiful, flowing white cashmere dresses and long light blue veils, I have looked forward to joining the Sisterhood of good women who have always given me love and the security of home.
Nothing has happened to change my intentions, and they are not changed. Only, I'm not homesick any more, as I used to be in the feverish Paris days, or even on the Riviera, when we did very little but rush back and forth between Monte Carlo and Cap Martin, with Prince Dalmar-Kalm and his friends.
Nothing has happened to change my intentions, and they're not changed. It's just that I'm not homesick anymore, like I used to be during those frantic days in Paris, or even on the Riviera, when we mainly rushed back and forth between Monte Carlo and Cap Martin, with Prince Dalmar-Kalm and his friends.
I shall go home and carry out the plans I've had for all these years, but—I shall live—live—live—every single minute till the time comes for my good-bye to the world
I’m going to go home and finally pursue the plans I’ve had for all these years, but—I will live—live—live—every single minute until it’s time to say goodbye to the world.
I should have liked to stay a month at Bellagio (with the wonderful garden of Serbelloni to explore from end to end), instead of the two days that we did stop; still, the moment our start was arranged, I was perfectly happy at the thought of being in the car again.
I would have loved to stay a month in Bellagio (with the amazing Serbelloni garden to explore fully), instead of the two days we actually stayed; still, as soon as our departure was planned, I was completely happy thinking about getting back in the car.
There was a discussion as to how we should begin the journey to Lecco and Desenzano, where we were to sleep one night, for our difficulty lay in the fact that there's but one road on which you can drive away from the wooded, wedge-like promontory which Bellagio pushes out into the lake; the steep, narrow road up to Civenna and down again to Canzo and Asso, by which we had come. As our car had done the climb and descent so well, Mr. Barrymore wanted to do it again, perhaps with a wicked desire to force the Prince into accompanying us or seeming timid about the capabilities of his automobile. But when Aunt Kathryn discovered how easy the alternative was (simply to put the car on a steamer as far as Varenna, then running along a good road from there southward to Lecco), she said that Mr. Barrymore's way [Pg 207] would be tempting Providence, with whose designs, I must say she appears to have an intimate acquaintance. Heaven had spared us the first time, she argued, but now if we deliberately flew in its face, it would certainly not be considerate on a second occasion.
There was a debate about how we should start our trip to Lecco and Desenzano, where we planned to stay for one night. Our challenge was that there was only one road leading away from the wooded, wedge-shaped promontory that Bellagio extends into the lake; the steep, narrow route up to Civenna and back down to Canzo and Asso, which we had already taken. Since our car had handled the climb and descent so well, Mr. Barrymore wanted to do it again, maybe out of a mischievous desire to make the Prince join us or because he was unsure about his car's abilities. However, when Aunt Kathryn realized how simple the alternative was (just to put the car on a steamer to Varenna and then take a decent road south to Lecco), she said that Mr. Barrymore's plan would be tempting fate, which, I must say, she seems to know quite well. Heaven had spared us the first time, she argued, but if we deliberately went against it now, it wouldn't be fair to expect a second chance.
I was ready so much earlier on the last morning than Aunt Kathryn or Beechy, that I ordered coffee and rolls for myself alone on the terrace; and they had just appeared when Mr. Barrymore came out. He was going presently to see to the car, so naturally we had breakfast together, with an addition of some exquisite wild strawberries, gleaming like cabouchon rubies under a froth of whipped cream. It was only eight o'clock, when we finished, and he said there would be time for one last stroll through the divinest garden in Italy, if I cared for it. Of course I did care, so we walked together up the rose-bordered path from the sweet-smelling flower-zone to the pine-belt that culminates in the pirates' castle. While we stood looking down over the three arms of the lake in their glittering blue sleeves, a voice spoke behind us: "Ah, Miss Destrey, I've found you at last. Your cousin asked me to look for you and bring you back as soon as possible. You are urgently wanted for something, though what was not confided to me."
I got up much earlier on the last morning than Aunt Kathryn or Beechy, so I ordered coffee and rolls for myself on the terrace. They had just arrived when Mr. Barrymore came out. He was about to check on the car, so we ended up having breakfast together, along with some amazing wild strawberries that sparkled like cabouchon rubies under a dollop of whipped cream. It was only eight o'clock when we finished, and he said there was time for one last stroll through the most beautiful garden in Italy, if I wanted to. Of course, I wanted to, so we walked up the rose-lined path from the fragrant flower area to the pine belt that leads to the pirate's castle. While we were looking down over the three arms of the lake in their shimmering blue sleeves, a voice called out behind us: "Ah, Miss Destrey, I've finally found you. Your cousin asked me to look for you and bring you back as soon as possible. You're urgently needed for something, though I wasn't told what."
The Prince used to be troublesome when he first attached himself to our party. If ever he happened to meet me in the big hall or the garden of the hotel at Cap Martin, when neither Aunt Kathryn nor Beechy was with me, he always made some pretext to talk and pay me stupid compliments, though he would flee if my relations came in sight. After the trip began, however, his manner was suddenly different, and he showed no more desire for my society than I for his; therefore I was surprised by an equally sudden change this morning. It was hardly to be defined in words, but it was very noticeable. Even his way of looking at me was not the same. At Cap Martin it used to be rather bold, as if I were the kind of person who ought to be flattered by any attention from a Prince Dalmar-Kalm. Later, if he glanced at me [Pg 208] at all, it was with an odd expression, as if he wished me to regret something, I really couldn't imagine what. But now there was a sort of reverence in his gaze and manner, as if I were a queen and he were one of my courtiers. As I'm not a queen, and wouldn't care to have him for a courtier if I were, I wasn't pleased when he attempted to keep at my side going down by the narrow path up which Mr. Barrymore and I had walked together. He didn't precisely thrust Mr. Barrymore out of the way, but seemed to take it for granted, as it were by right of his rank, that it was for him, not the others to walk beside me.
The Prince used to be a hassle when he first joined our group. Whenever he saw me in the big hall or the garden of the hotel at Cap Martin, when neither Aunt Kathryn nor Beechy was around, he always found some excuse to chat and shower me with ridiculous compliments, but he would disappear as soon as my relatives showed up. However, after the trip began, his attitude changed completely, and he didn't seem any more interested in hanging out with me than I was with him; so I was taken aback by an equally sudden shift this morning. It was hard to put into words, but it was really noticeable. Even the way he looked at me had changed. At Cap Martin, his gaze was pretty bold, as if I were someone who should feel flattered by any attention from a Prince Dalmar-Kalm. Later on, if he glanced my way at all, it was with a strange expression, as if he wanted me to feel regret about something I couldn't even guess. But now there was a kind of respect in his look and behavior, as if I were a queen and he were one of my courtiers. Since I'm not a queen, and wouldn't want him as a courtier even if I were, I wasn't thrilled when he tried to stay by my side as we walked down the narrow path where Mr. Barrymore and I had gone together. He didn't exactly push Mr. Barrymore out of the way, but it felt as if he assumed, by right of his status, that it was meant for him, not anyone else, to walk beside me.
I resented this, for to my mind it is horribly caddish for a person to snub another not his equal in fortune; and as Mr. Barrymore never pushes himself forward when people behave as if he were their inferior, I determined to show unmistakably which man I valued more. Consequently, when the Prince persisted in keeping at my shoulder, I turned and talked over it to Mr. Barrymore following behind. But on the terrace level with the hotel he had to leave us, for the automobile was to be shipped on board a cargo-boat that sailed for Varenna some time before ours.
I disliked this because, in my opinion, it's really rude for someone to ignore another who isn’t their equal in wealth. Since Mr. Barrymore never puts himself forward when people act like he’s beneath them, I decided to make it clear which man I valued more. So, when the Prince kept hovering at my shoulder, I turned and chatted with Mr. Barrymore, who was walking behind us. However, when we reached the terrace level with the hotel, he had to leave us, because the car was scheduled to be loaded onto a cargo ship bound for Varenna, which was leaving before ours.
"Why are you always unkind to me? Have I been so unfortunate as to vex you in any way?" asked the Prince, when we were alone.
"Why are you always so unkind to me? Have I really done something to upset you?" asked the Prince, when we were alone.
"I am neither kind nor unkind," I replied in a practical, dry sort of tone. "I am going in now to see why they want me."
"I’m neither nice nor mean," I said in a straightforward, no-nonsense tone. "I’m going in now to find out why they need me."
"Please don't be in such a hurry," said the Prince. "Perhaps I made Miss Beechy's message too urgent, for I had seen you with the chauffeur, and I could not bear that you should be alone with him."
"Please don't rush," said the Prince. "Maybe I made Miss Beechy's message seem too urgent because I saw you with the chauffeur, and I couldn't stand the thought of you being alone with him."
"It is stupid to speak of Mr. Barrymore as the chauffeur," I exclaimed in a rage. "And it's not your affair Prince, to concern yourself with my actions."
"It’s ridiculous to call Mr. Barrymore the chauffeur," I shouted in anger. "And it’s none of your business, Prince, to worry about what I do."
With that I darted into the long corridor that opens from the terrace, and left him furiously tugging at his moustache.
With that, I dashed into the long hallway that leads from the terrace, leaving him angrily pulling at his mustache.
"Did you send the Prince to call me in, Beechy?" I asked, after [Pg 209] I had tapped at her door.
"Did you send the Prince to get me, Beechy?" I asked, after [Pg 209] I had knocked on her door.
"I happened to see the Prince and have a little talk with him in the garden a few minutes ago," said she, "and I told him if he saw you he might say we'd be glad if you'd come. Mamma's in such a stew finishing her packing, and it would be nice if you'd help shut the dressing-bag."
"I just saw the Prince and had a quick chat with him in the garden a few minutes ago," she said, "and I mentioned that if he runs into you, he could say we'd love it if you came. Mom's in such a rush finishing her packing, and it would be great if you could help close the dressing bag."
Aunt Kathryn hadn't been herself, it seemed to me, during our two days at Bellagio. This morning she had a headache, and though I'd hoped that she would walk down to the boat with the Prince, she decided to take the hotel omnibus, so I was pestered with him once more. Beechy and Sir Ralph were having an argument of some sort (in which I heard that funny nickname "the Chauffeulier" occur several times), and as Mr. Barrymore had gone ahead with the car and our luggage, the Prince kept with me all the way through the terraced garden, then down the quaint street of steps past the bright-coloured silk-shops, to the crowded little quay. I should have thought that after my last words he would have avoided me, but apparently he hadn't understood that he was being snubbed. He even put himself out to be nice to the black dog from Airole, which is my shadow now, and detests the Prince as openly as he secretly detests it.
Aunt Kathryn hadn’t seemed like herself during our two days at Bellagio. This morning she had a headache, and though I was hoping she would walk down to the boat with the Prince, she decided to take the hotel shuttle, so I had to deal with him once again. Beechy and Sir Ralph were arguing about something (I heard that funny nickname “the Chauffeulier” pop up several times), and since Mr. Barrymore had gone ahead with the car and our luggage, the Prince stuck with me all the way through the terraced garden, then down the charming street of steps past the brightly colored silk shops, to the busy little quay. I figured after our last conversation he would avoid me, but apparently, he didn’t realize he was being ignored. He even went out of his way to be nice to the black dog from Airole, who’s my shadow now, and dislikes the Prince as openly as he secretly dislikes it.
It was scarcely half an hour's sail to Varenna, and ten minutes after landing there, we were in the car, bowling smoothly along a charming road close by the side of Lecco, the eastern arm of the triple lake of Como.
It was barely a half-hour boat ride to Varenna, and ten minutes after we arrived, we were in the car, cruising effortlessly down a lovely road right next to Lecco, the eastern arm of the three-part Lake Como.
For a time we ran opposite the promontory of Bellagio, with the white crescent of the Villa Serbelloni conspicuous on the darkly wooded hillside. Near us was an electric railway which burrowed into tunnels, as did our own road now and then, to save itself from extinction in a wall of rock. As we went on, we found the scenery of Lecco more wild and rugged than that of Como with its many villas, each one of which might have been Claude Melnotte's. Villages were sparsely scattered on the sides of high, sheer mountains which reared their bared shoulders up to a sky of pure ultramarine, but Lecco itself was big and not picturesque, [Pg 210] taking an air of up-to-date importance from the railway station which connects this magic land with the rest of Italy.
For a while, we traveled alongside the Bellagio promontory, with the bright white crescent of Villa Serbelloni standing out against the dark, wooded hillside. Nearby was an electric railway that tunneled through the mountains, just like our own road did at times to avoid a rocky barrier. As we continued on, we noticed that the scenery in Lecco was wilder and more rugged than that of Como, which was dotted with villas that each could have belonged to Claude Melnotte. Villages were scattered thinly on the sides of steep, sheer mountains that lifted their exposed peaks to a clear ultramarine sky, but Lecco itself was large and not particularly picturesque, [Pg 210] gaining an air of modern significance from the railway station that connects this enchanting area to the rest of Italy.
"I shouldn't care to stop in this town," said Beechy, when Mr. Barrymore slowed down before an imposing glass-fronted hotel with gorgeous ornamentations of iron and a wonderful gateway. "After what we've come from, Lecco does look unromantic and prosaic, though I daresay this hotel is nice and will give us a good lunch."
"I wouldn't want to stop in this town," said Beechy, when Mr. Barrymore slowed down in front of an impressive glass-fronted hotel with beautiful iron decorations and a magnificent entrance. "After what we've been through, Lecco does seem dull and ordinary, although I suppose this hotel is nice and will serve us a good lunch."
"Nevertheless it's the Promessi Sposi country," answered Mr. Barrymore.
"Still, it's the Promessi Sposi country," Mr. Barrymore replied.
"What's that?" asked Beechy and Aunt Kathryn together. But I knew; for in the garret at home there's an old, old copy of "The Betrothed," which is Manzoni's I Promessi Sposi in English, and I found and read it when I was a small girl. It was very long, and perhaps I should find it a little dull now though I hope not, for I loved it then, reading in delicious secrecy and stealth, because the Sisterhood doesn't allow youthful pupils to batten on love stories, no matter how old-fashioned. I hadn't thought of the book for years; but evidently its story had been lying all this time carefully put away in a parcel, gathering dust on some forgotten shelf in my brain, for down it tumbled at the mention of the name. As Mr. Barrymore explained to Aunt Kathryn that this was the country of I Promessi Sposi because the scenes of Manzoni's romance had been laid in the neighbourhood, I could see as plainly as if they lay before my eyes the quaint woodcuts representing the beautiful heroine, Lucia, her lover, Renzo, and the wicked Prince Innominato.
"What's that?" Beechy and Aunt Kathryn asked together. But I knew; because in the attic at home there's an old, old copy of "The Betrothed," which is Manzoni's I Promessi Sposi in English, and I found it and read it when I was a little girl. It was very long, and maybe I would find it a bit boring now, though I hope not, since I loved it back then, reading it in delicious secrecy and stealth, because the Sisterhood doesn't allow young students to indulge in romance stories, no matter how old-fashioned. I hadn't thought about the book for years; but clearly, its story had been quietly stored away in a parcel, gathering dust on some forgotten shelf in my mind, because it tumbled out at the mention of the name. As Mr. Barrymore explained to Aunt Kathryn that this was the country of I Promessi Sposi since the scenes of Manzoni's romance were set in the area, I could see as clearly as if they were right in front of me the charming woodcuts depicting the beautiful heroine, Lucia, her lover, Renzo, and the wicked Prince Innominato.
Nevertheless I took some credit to myself for remembering the old book so well, and fancied that there weren't many other travellers nowadays who would have it. But pride usually goes before a fall, as hard-hearted nurses tell vain little girls who have come to grief in their prettiest dresses; and at lunch it appeared that the humblest, most youthful waiter at Lecco knew more about the classic romance of the country than I did. Indeed, [Pg 211] not a character in the book that wasn't well represented in a picture on the wall or a painted post-card, and all seemed at least as real to the people of Lecco as any of their modern fellow-citizens.
Nevertheless, I felt a bit proud of myself for remembering the old book so well and thought there weren't many other travelers these days who would know it. But pride often comes before a fall, as stern nurses tell vain little girls who’ve gotten into trouble in their prettiest dresses; and at lunch, it turned out that even the youngest, humblest waiter at Lecco knew more about the classic romance of the area than I did. In fact, [Pg 211] not a single character from the book was left out of the pictures on the wall or the painted postcards, and they all seemed just as real to the people of Lecco as any of their modern neighbors.
The landlord was so shocked at the idea of our going on without driving a few kilometres to Acquate, the village where Renzo and Lucia had lived, and visiting the wayside shrine where Don Roderigo accosted Lucia, that Aunt Kathryn was fired with a desire to go, though the Prince (who had come the same way we had) would have dissuaded her by saying there was nothing worth seeing. "I believe you don't approve of stories about wicked Princes like Innominato," said Beechy, "and that's why you don't want us to go. You're afraid we'll get suspicious if we know too much about them." After that speech the Prince didn't object any more, and even went with us in his car, when we had rounded off our lunch with the Robiolo cheese of the country.
The landlord was so surprised by the idea of us heading out without taking a short drive to Acquate, the village where Renzo and Lucia had lived, and visiting the roadside shrine where Don Roderigo confronted Lucia, that Aunt Kathryn became eager to go. The Prince (who had come the same way we had) would have tried to talk her out of it by saying there was nothing worth seeing. "I bet you don't like stories about evil Princes like Innominato," Beechy said, "and that's why you don't want us to go. You're worried we might get suspicious if we learn too much about them." After that comment, the Prince didn’t object anymore and even joined us in his car after we finished our lunch with the local Robiolo cheese.
It was a short drive to Lucia's village; we could have walked in less than an hour, but that wouldn't have pleased Aunt Kathryn. Appropriately, we passed a statue of Manzoni on the way—a delightful Manzoni seated comfortably on a monument (with sculptured medallions from scenes in his books) almost within sight of the road to Acquate, and quite within sight of Monte Resegno, where the castle of wicked Innominato still stands. Then no sooner had we turned into the narrow road leading up to the little mountain hamlet than our intentions became the property of every passer-by, every peasant, every worker from the wire factories.
It was a quick drive to Lucia's village; we could have walked there in under an hour, but that wouldn't have made Aunt Kathryn happy. Fittingly, we passed a statue of Manzoni on the way—a charming Manzoni sitting comfortably on a monument (with sculpted medallions depicting scenes from his books) almost in view of the road to Acquate, and clearly visible from Monte Resegno, where the castle of the wicked Innominato still stands. As soon as we turned onto the narrow road leading up to the little mountain village, our plans became the concern of every passerby, every farmer, every worker from the wire factories.
"I Promessi Sposi," they would say to each other in a matter-of-course way, with an accompanying nod that settled our destination without a loophole of doubt.
"I Promessi Sposi," they would say to each other casually, with a nod that firmly established our destination without any doubt.
In Acquate itself, a tiny but picturesque old village (draped with wistaria from end to end, as if it were en fête), everything was reminiscent and commemorative of the romance that had made its fame. Here was Via Cristoforo; there Via Renzo; [Pg 212] while naturally Via Lucia led us up to the ancient grey osteria where the virtuous heroine was born and lived. We went in, of course, and Sir Ralph ordered red wine of the country, to give us an excuse to sit and stare at the coloured lithographs and statuettes of the lovers, and to peep into the really beautiful old kitchen with the ruddy gleams of copper in its dusky shadows, its bright bits of painted china, its pretty window and huge fireplace.
In Acquate itself, a small but charming old village covered in wisteria from one end to the other, as if it were celebrating a festival, everything reminded us of the romance that had made it famous. Here was Via Cristoforo; there was Via Renzo; [Pg 212] while Via Lucia naturally took us to the ancient grey tavern where the virtuous heroine was born and lived. We went in, of course, and Sir Ralph ordered local red wine to give us a reason to sit and admire the colorful lithographs and figurines of the lovers, and to peek into the really beautiful old kitchen with its warm copper gleams in the dim shadows, its bright pieces of painted china, its lovely window, and its large fireplace.
On a shelf close by the fire sat a cat, and I attempted to stroke it, for it looked old enough and important enough to have belonged to Lucia herself. But I might have known that it would not suffer my caresses, for it's nearly always so with foreign cats and dogs, I find. The lack of confidence in their own attractions which they show is as pathetic as that of a neglected wife; they never seem to think of themselves as pets.
On a shelf near the fire sat a cat, and I tried to pet it, since it seemed old and important enough to have belonged to Lucia herself. But I should have known it wouldn’t let me pet it, as is usually the case with foreign cats and dogs, in my experience. The way they lack confidence in their own appeal is as sad as that of a neglected wife; they never seem to see themselves as pets.
Aunt Kathryn would persist in talking of Innominato as "Abominato" (which was after all more appropriate), and the generous display of Lucia's charms in the pictures caused her basely to doubt that most virtuous maiden's genuine merit. "If the girl hadn't worn such dresses, they wouldn't have painted her in them," she argued. "If she did wear them, she was a minx who got no more than she might have expected, prancing about lonely mountain roads in such shameless things. And I don't want a piece of wood from the shutter of her bedroom to take away with me. I should be mortified to tell any ladies in Denver what it was; and what's the good of carting souvenirs of your travels around with you, if you can't tell people about them?"
Aunt Kathryn kept insisting on calling Innominato "Abominato" (which was honestly more fitting), and the way Lucia showcased her beauty in the pictures made her question that virtuous girl's true worth. "If the girl hadn't worn such dresses, they wouldn't have painted her like this," she argued. "If she really did wear them, she was a flirt who got exactly what she deserved, strutting around lonely mountain roads in such inappropriate outfits. And I don’t want a piece of wood from her bedroom shutter to take home. I’d be embarrassed to explain to any ladies in Denver what it was; and what’s the point of carrying souvenirs from your travels if you can’t share the stories behind them?"
We got back to our lakeside hotel sooner than we had thought, and the landlord prayed us to see one more of Lecco's great sights. "It is not as if I asked you to go out of your way to look at some fine old ruin or a beautiful view," he pleaded. "You have seen many such on your journey, and you will see many more; but this thing to which I would send you is unique. There is nothing like it anywhere else in the world; and to go will take you five minutes."
We returned to our lakeside hotel quicker than we expected, and the owner urged us to check out one more of Lecco's amazing sights. "I'm not asking you to go out of your way to see some old ruin or a gorgeous view," he insisted. "You've seen plenty of those on your trip, and you'll see many more; but this particular thing I want you to see is one of a kind. There's nothing else like it anywhere in the world, and it will only take you five minutes."
[Pg 213] This excited Aunt Kathryn's curiosity, but when she heard that "it" was only a wonderful model of the cathedral at Milan, exact in every smallest detail and made by one man, she thought that she would seize the opportunity of lying down while the others went, and be fresh for our start, in an hour's time.
[Pg 213] This piqued Aunt Kathryn's curiosity, but when she found out that "it" was just an incredible model of the Milan cathedral, perfectly crafted down to the tiniest detail by one person, she decided to take the chance to lie down while the others went, so she would be refreshed for our departure in an hour.
The idea of a model in wood of such a masterpiece as the Milan Cathedral didn't particularly recommend itself to me; but when we had arrived at a curiosity shop, and been ushered into a huge inner room, I suddenly changed my mind, for what I saw there was wonderful—as wonderful in its way as the great Cathedral itself.
The idea of a wooden model of a masterpiece like the Milan Cathedral didn’t really appeal to me; but when we got to a curiosity shop and were taken into a huge inner room, I suddenly changed my mind because what I saw there was amazing—just as amazing in its own way as the great Cathedral itself.
It was the father of the man who showed us the model, and owned the shop, who had made the miniature duomo. His name was Giacomo Mattarelli, and he was an extraordinary genius, worthy of a tomb in the Cathedral to the worship of whose beauty he devoted twenty years of his life and sacrificed those which remained.
It was the father of the guy who showed us the model and owned the shop who created the miniature duomo. His name was Giacomo Mattarelli, and he was an amazing genius, deserving of a grave in the Cathedral to honor the beauty he dedicated twenty years of his life to and sacrificed the rest of his years for.
The story of his self-appointed task struck me as being as marvellous as the task's result, which stood there in the dim room, perfect in proportion and delicately wrought as ivory carved by Chinese experts. I don't know what the others thought, but the tale as told by the artist's son was for me full of pathos and beautiful sentiment.
The story of his self-assigned task seemed just as amazing as the result, which stood there in the dim room, perfectly proportioned and intricately crafted like ivory carved by skilled Chinese artisans. I can't speak for the others, but the way the artist's son told it was full of emotion and beauty for me.
The man had been a cabinet-maker by trade, but he had money and could gratify his craving for art. The glory of the Milan Cathedral, seen once, became an obsession for him, and he went again and again. At last the idea grew in his mind to express his homage in a perfect copy of the great church which, as he said, "held his heart." There was no train between Milan and Lecco in his day (1840), and he used to walk all those miles to make drawings of the Cathedral. At first he meant to do the work in iron, but iron was too heavy; then he began casting plates in copper, but they were hollow behind, and he could not get the effect he wanted, so after several wasted months he began again with olive wood. Often he would work all night; and no trouble [Pg 214] was too much for his inexhaustible patience. Each statue, each gargoyle was copied, first in a drawing, then with the carving tools, and no hand but that of the artist ever touched the work. At the end of twenty-two years it was completed; not a detail missing inside or out; and then when all was done the modeller went blind.
The man had been a cabinetmaker by trade, but he had money and could satisfy his passion for art. The beauty of the Milan Cathedral, seen once, became an obsession for him, and he returned again and again. Eventually, the idea developed in his mind to pay tribute by creating a perfect replica of the great church that, as he said, "held his heart." There was no train between Milan and Lecco in his day (1840), and he would walk all those miles to make sketches of the Cathedral. Initially, he intended to work with iron, but iron was too heavy; then he started casting plates in copper, but they were hollow on the back, and he couldn't achieve the effect he wanted. After several wasted months, he began again with olive wood. Often, he would work all night; no challenge was too great for his endless patience. Each statue, each gargoyle was replicated, first in a drawing, then with carving tools, and no hand but the artist's ever touched the work. After twenty-two years, it was finished; not a single detail was missing inside or out; and then, when everything was complete, the sculptor went blind.
Now his son had lighted up the model for us to see, and I was almost aghast at the thought of the incredible labour it had meant—literally a labour of love, for the artist had given his eyes and his best years to his adoration of the beautiful. And the whole thing seemed the more of a marvel when I remembered how Mr. Barrymore had called Milan Cathedral the most highly ornamented building in the world. Nowhere else, he said, existed a church so smothered with carving. Every point, every niche has its statue. There, in the model, one could find each one. Through magnifying glasses the little carved faces (hardly larger, some of them, than a pin's head) looked at one with the same expression as the original, and not a mistake had been made in a fold of drapery. Each sculptured capital, each column, each decorative altar of the interior had been carved with loving fidelity. All that, in the vast Cathedral had taken centuries and many generations of men to plan and finish, this one infinitely patient man had copied in miniature in twenty-two years. It would have been worth visiting the town to see the model alone, even if we had turned miles out of our path.
Now his son had lit up the model for us to see, and I was almost stunned at the thought of the incredible effort it had taken—literally a labor of love, because the artist had dedicated his sight and his best years to his passion for beauty. And the whole thing seemed even more amazing when I remembered how Mr. Barrymore had called Milan Cathedral the most highly ornamented building in the world. He said there was nowhere else that a church was so filled with carvings. Every point, every niche has its statue. In the model, you could find each one. Through magnifying glasses, the tiny carved faces (some hardly bigger than a pinhead) looked at you with the same expression as the originals, and not a single detail was wrong in a fold of fabric. Each sculpted capital, each column, each decorative altar of the interior had been carved with loving accuracy. Everything that took centuries and many generations of men to plan and complete in the vast Cathedral, this one incredibly patient man had replicated in miniature in twenty-two years. It would have been worth the trip to the town just to see the model, even if we had to go miles out of our way.
To go from there to Desenzano by way of Bergamo and Brescia was to go from lake to lake—Lecco to Garda; and the road was beautiful. Castles and ancient monasteries had throned themselves on hills to look down on little villages cringing at their august feet. Along the horizon stretched a serrated line of pure white mountains, sharply chiselled in marble, while a thick carpet of wild flowers, blue and gold, had been cut apart to let our road pass through. It was a biscuit-coloured road, smooth as uncut velvet, and fringed on either side with a white spray of heavenly-fragrant acacia, like our locust-trees at home. Rustic [Pg 215] fences and low hedges defining rich green meadows, were inter-laced with wild roses, pink and white, and plaited with pale gold honeysuckle, a magnet for armies of flitting butterflies. Every big farmhouse, every tiny cottage was curtained with wistaria and heavy-headed roses. Wagons passed us laden with new-mown hay and crimson sorrel; and we had one odd adventure, which might have been dangerous, but was only poetic.
To travel from there to Desenzano via Bergamo and Brescia meant going from one lake to another—Lecco to Garda; and the road was stunning. Castles and old monasteries sat on hills, looking down on little villages that seemed to shrink in their presence. A jagged line of pure white mountains stretched along the horizon, sharply carved in marble, while a thick carpet of wildflowers in blue and gold was cut apart to let our road pass through. It was a biscuit-colored road, as smooth as uncut velvet, lined on both sides with a white spray of wonderfully fragrant acacia, similar to our locust trees back home. Rustic [Pg 215] fences and low hedges defining lush green meadows were intertwined with wild roses in pink and white, and woven with pale gold honeysuckle, attracting swarms of fluttering butterflies. Every large farmhouse and every tiny cottage was draped with wisteria and heavy-headed roses. Wagons passed us loaded with freshly cut hay and vivid crimson sorrel; and we had one strange experience that could have been dangerous, but turned out to be just poetic.
A horse drawing some kind of vehicle, piled high with fragrant clover, took it into his head just as were side by side, that it was his duty to punish his mechanical rival for existing. Calculating his distance nicely, he gave a bound, flung the cart against our car, and upset half his load of clover on our heads. What he did afterwards we had no means of knowing, for we were temporarily extinguished.
A horse pulling a vehicle loaded with sweet-smelling clover suddenly decided, while we were side by side, that it was his job to attack his mechanical opponent for being there. Judging the distance perfectly, he jumped, slammed the cart into our car, and dumped half of his clover load over us. What happened next was unknown to us because we were completely taken out.
It was the strangest sensation I ever had, being suddenly overwhelmed by a soft, yet heavy wave of something that was like a ton of perfumed feathers.
It was the weirdest feeling I ever experienced, being suddenly hit by a soft, yet heavy wave of something that was like a ton of scented feathers.
Instantly the car stopped, for Mr. Barrymore, buried as he was, didn't forget to put on the brakes. Then I felt that he was excavating me, and almost before I knew what had swallowed me up I was emerging from green and pink billows of clover, laughing, gasping, half-dazed, but wholly delighted. "You're not drowned?" he asked quickly.
Instantly, the car stopped because Mr. Barrymore, even with everything going on, remembered to hit the brakes. Then I sensed that he was pulling me out, and almost before I realized what had happened, I was breaking free from green and pink waves of clover, laughing, gasping, half-dazed but completely thrilled. "You're not drowned?" he asked quickly.
"No, I can swim," I answered, and set myself promptly to help him and Sir Ralph rescue Beechy and Aunt Kathryn, which was rather like looking for needles in a haystack.
"No, I can swim," I replied, and immediately started to help him and Sir Ralph rescue Beechy and Aunt Kathryn, which was pretty much like searching for needles in a haystack.
By the time we had all got our breath and wiped the clover out of our eyes, horse and cart had vanished comet-like into the horizon, leaving a green trail behind. We bailed out the car and started gaily on once more, but presently our speed slackened. Without a sigh the automobile stopped precisely in the middle of the road, and gently, though firmly, refused to go on again.
By the time we all caught our breath and cleared the clover from our eyes, the horse and cart had disappeared like a comet over the horizon, leaving a green trail behind. We emptied out the car and happily set off again, but soon our speed slowed down. Without a sound, the car stopped right in the middle of the road and gently, yet firmly, refused to move any further.
When Mr. Barrymore saw that this was more than a passing whim, he called Sir Ralph to the rescue, Beechy and I jumped out, and the car was pushed to one side. Then, with all of us [Pg 216] standing round, he proceeded to search for the mischief. Apparently nothing was wrong. The engine was cool; the pump generously inclined, and fat yellow fireflies flew out of the sparking-plugs when they were tested. Then Mr. Barrymore remembered the cause of the Prince's first accident, and looked at the carburetter; but there was not so much as a speck of dust. For a while he continued to poke, and prod, and hammer, Sir Ralph offering humorous advice, and pretending to be sure that, if his housekeeper Félicité were on the spot, the car would start for her in an instant. The mystery only thickened, however, and to make matters worse the Prince, who had been proudly spinning on ahead, came tearing back to see what had happened. Though he pretended to be sympathetic, he was visibly overjoyed at our misfortune, which turned the tables upon us for once, and his suggestions were enough to wreck the valvular system of a motor-car; not to mention the nervous system of a distracted chauffeur.
When Mr. Barrymore realized this was more than just a passing fancy, he called Sir Ralph to help, and Beechy and I jumped out while the car was pushed to the side. Then, with all of us [Pg 216] standing around, he started to look for the problem. It seemed like nothing was wrong. The engine was cool, the pump was tilted just right, and fat yellow fireflies shot out of the spark plugs when they were tested. Mr. Barrymore then remembered what caused the Prince's first accident and checked the carburetor, but there wasn’t even a speck of dust. For a bit, he kept poking, prodding, and hammering while Sir Ralph cracked jokes and acted like if his housekeeper, Félicité, were there, the car would start immediately. However, the mystery only deepened, and to make things worse, the Prince, who had been proudly speeding ahead, came racing back to see what was wrong. Though he pretended to be sympathetic, he was clearly thrilled by our misfortune, which for once turned the tables on us, and his suggestions could have ruined the car's valvular system, not to mention the nerves of a stressed-out chauffeur.
"Perhaps the petrol's dead," said Mr. Barrymore, paying no heed to the Prince's ideas. He opened a new tin and was about to empty its contents into the reservoir, when he uttered an exclamation. "By Jove! Just look at that, Miss Destrey!" he said; and I couldn't help feeling flattered that he should appeal to me on a subject I didn't know anything about.
"Maybe the gas is empty," Mr. Barrymore said, disregarding the Prince's thoughts. He opened a new can and was about to pour it into the tank when he suddenly exclaimed. "Wow! Just look at that, Miss Destrey!" he said, and I couldn't help but feel a bit flattered that he would turn to me about something I knew nothing about.
He was peering at the small round air-hole leading down to the reservoir, so I peered too, and in spite of my ignorance I saw what he meant. The hole was entirely stopped up with the body of a pinkish-grey caterpillar, and Mr. Barrymore explained that the poor car had simply stopped because it couldn't breathe. No air had been able to reach the petrol in the reservoir, and therefore no spirit had trickled through to the carburetter.
He was looking closely at the small round air-hole that led down to the reservoir, so I looked too, and despite my lack of knowledge, I understood what he meant. The hole was completely blocked by the body of a pinkish-grey caterpillar, and Mr. Barrymore explained that the poor car had just stalled because it couldn't breathe. No air could get to the petrol in the reservoir, so no fuel had flowed through to the carburetor.
We had been delayed for more than half an hour by a mere worm, which had probably arrived with the clover; but when the automobile could fill her lungs again she started on at a great pace. We passed a wonderful old riverside town, that had one of the most remarkable churches we had seen yet; and by-and-by a fine city, set like a tiara on the forehead of a distant hill, seemed [Pg 217] to spring up, peer at us from its eminence, and then dip down out of sight among other hills which made a dark foreground against white mountains.
We were held up for over half an hour by just a worm, probably brought in with the clover; but once the car could breathe again, it took off at a quick pace. We drove past a beautiful old riverside town that had one of the most impressive churches we had seen so far, and soon after, a stunning city appeared, like a crown on the head of a distant hill. It seemed to emerge, look at us from its height, and then vanish behind other hills that formed a dark foreground against the white mountains. [Pg 217]
It was Bergamo; and not once did we see it again until we were almost in the place, when it deigned to show itself once more—an old, old city on a height, a newer city extended at its feet in a plain.
It was Bergamo; and we didn’t see it again until we were almost there, when it finally revealed itself once more—an ancient city perched on a hill, with a newer city spreading out at its base in a valley.
"This town is packed full of interesting things," said Mr. Barrymore. "I stayed here two days once, at a nice old-fashioned hotel with domed, painted ceilings, marble walls and mahogany mantle-pieces which would have delighted you. And even then I hadn't half time for the two or three really fine churches, and the Academy, where there are some Bellinis, a Palma Vecchio, and a lot of splendid Old Masters. Bergamo claims Tasso, perhaps you remember, because his father was born here; and Harlequin, you know, was supposed to be a Bergamese."
"This town is full of interesting things," Mr. Barrymore said. "I once stayed here for two days at a charming old-fashioned hotel with domed painted ceilings, marble walls, and mahogany mantels that would have impressed you. Even then, I didn't have enough time to see the two or three really amazing churches and the Academy, where they have some Bellinis, a Palma Vecchio, and lots of incredible Old Masters. Bergamo claims Tasso, maybe you remember, because his father was born here; and Harlequin, you know, was thought to be from Bergamo."
"Oughtn't we to stop and see the pictures?" I asked.
"Aren't we supposed to stop and look at the pictures?" I asked.
"We ought. But one never does stop where one ought to, motoring. Besides, you'll see the best work of the same artists at Venice and as we want to reach Desenzano for dinner we had better push on."
"We should. But you never really stop where you’re supposed to when driving. Besides, you’ll see the best work of the same artists in Venice, and since we want to get to Desenzano for dinner, we’d better keep going."
We did push on but not far. Unless the main road runs straight into a town and out of it again it is often difficult to discover the exit from Italian cities like those through which we passed, and Mr. Barrymore seemed always reluctant to inquire. When I remarked on this once, thinking it simpler to ask a question of some one in the street rather than take a false turn, he answered that automobilists never asked the way; they found it. "I can't explain," he went on, "but I believe other men who drive cars share the same peculiarity with me; I never ask help from a passer-by if I can possibly fish out the way for myself. It isn't rational of course. Sometimes I could save a détour if I would stop and ask; but I prefer to plunge on and make a mistake rather than admit that a mere man on legs can teach me anything I don't know. It seems somehow to degrade the automobile."
We pushed on, but not for long. Unless the main road goes straight into a town and back out, it can be really tough to find the exit from Italian cities like the ones we passed through, and Mr. Barrymore always seemed hesitant to ask for directions. When I pointed this out one time, thinking it was easier to ask someone on the street than to take a wrong turn, he replied that drivers never ask for directions; they just find their way. "I can't explain it," he continued, "but I think other drivers feel the same way I do; I never ask for help from a passer-by if I can figure out the route myself. It doesn't make much sense, I know. Sometimes I could save some extra travel if I just stopped and asked; but I’d rather forge ahead and make a mistake than admit that some random person can teach me something I don't already know. It somehow feels like it diminishes the car."
[Pg 218] The argument was too subtle for me, not being an automobilist; and on trying to get out of Bergamo, Mr. Barrymore made one of his little détours. The road twisted; and instead of finding the one towards Brescia it happened that we went down a broad way which looked like a high road, but happened to be only a cul de sac leading to the railway station. We were annoyed for a minute, but we were to rejoice in the next.
[Pg 218] The argument was too complicated for me since I'm not a car person; and while trying to leave Bergamo, Mr. Barrymore took one of his usual detours. The road wound around, and instead of finding the route to Brescia, we ended up on a wide road that seemed like a main road but turned out to be just a cul de sac leading to the train station. We were frustrated for a moment, but soon we had something to be happy about.
Seeing his error, Mr. Barrymore had just turned the car and was circling round, when two men stepped into the middle of the road and held up their hands. They appeared so suddenly that they made me start. They were very tall and very grave, dressed alike, in long black coats buttoned to their chins, black gloves, and high black hats. Each carried an oaken staff.
Seeing his mistake, Mr. Barrymore had just turned the car around and was circling back when two men stepped into the middle of the road and raised their hands. They appeared so suddenly that they startled me. They were very tall and serious, dressed the same in long black coats buttoned to their chins, black gloves, and tall black hats. Each one carried an oak staff.
"They're mutes," said Sir Ralph as Mr. Barrymore put on the brake. "They've come to warn us that there's going to be a funeral, and we must clear out for the procession."
"They're silent," said Sir Ralph as Mr. Barrymore applied the brake. "They've come to inform us that a funeral is happening, and we need to make way for the procession."
The pair looked so sepulchral, I thought he must be right, though I'd never seen any "funeral mutes." But Mr. Barrymore answered in a low voice, "No, they're policemen. I wonder what's up?" Then, aloud, he addressed the melancholy black beanpoles; but to my surprise, instead of using his fluent Italian to lubricate the strained situation, he spoke in English.
The pair looked so gloomy that I thought he must be correct, even though I had never seen any "funeral mutes." But Mr. Barrymore replied in a quiet voice, "No, they're policemen. I wonder what's going on?" Then, speaking to the somber tall figures, I was surprised that instead of using his smooth Italian to ease the tense situation, he spoke in English.
"Good day. Do you want something with me?"
"Hey there. Do you need something from me?"
Of course they didn't understand. How could they have been expected to? But they did not look astonished. Their black coats were too tight round their necks for them to change expression easily. One began to explain his object or intention, with gentle patience, in soft Italian—so soft that I could have burst out laughing at the thought of the contrast between him and a New York policeman.
Of course, they didn’t get it. How could they be expected to? But they didn’t look surprised. Their black coats were too snug around their necks for them to change their expressions easily. One started to explain his purpose or intention, with gentle patience, in soft Italian—so soft that I almost laughed at the thought of how different he was from a New York cop.
Now almost my whole knowledge of Italian has been gained since Aunt Kathryn decided to take this trip, for then I immediately bought a phrase-book, a grammar, and "Doctor Antonio" translated into the native tongue of hero and author, all of which I've diligently studied every evening. Mr. Barrymore, on the contrary, [Pg 219] speaks perfectly. I believe he could even think in Italian if he liked; nevertheless I could understand a great deal that the thin giant said, while he apparently was hopelessly puzzled.
Now, almost all my knowledge of Italian has come from the time Aunt Kathryn decided to take this trip. Right away, I bought a phrasebook, a grammar book, and "Doctor Antonio" translated into the original language of the hero and the author, all of which I've been studying diligently every evening. In contrast, Mr. Barrymore [Pg 219] speaks fluently. I believe he could even think in Italian if he wanted to; however, I could understand a lot of what the tall guy said, while he seemed completely confounded.
Even without an accompaniment of words, the policeman's pantomime was so expressive, I fancy I should have guessed his meaning. With the grieved dignity of a father taking to task an erring child, he taxed us with having damaged a cart and injured a horse, causing it to run away. He pointed to the distance. With an arching gesture he illustrated a mound of hay (or clover?) rising from the vehicle; with a quick outward thrust of hands and widespread fingers he pictured the alarm and frantic rush of the horse; he showed us the creature running, then falling, then limping as if hurt; he touched his knees to indicate the place of the wound. What could the most elementary intelligence need more to comprehend? Certainly it was enough for the crowd collected about us; but it was not enough for Mr. Barrymore, who is an Irishman, and cleverer about everything than any man I ever met. He sat still, with an absolutely vacant though conscientious look on his face, as if he were trying hard to snatch at an idea, but hadn't succeeded. When the policeman finished, Mr. Barrymore sadly shook his head. "I wonder what you mean?" he murmured mildly in English.
Even without any words, the policeman's gestures were so clear that I think I would have understood what he meant. With the hurt dignity of a father scolding a misbehaving child, he accused us of damaging a cart and injuring a horse, causing it to run away. He pointed into the distance. With an exaggerated motion, he showed a pile of hay (or clover?) coming from the cart; with a quick thrust of his hands and spread fingers, he portrayed the horse's panic and frantic escape; he mimicked the horse running, then falling, then limping as if it were hurt; he touched his knees to indicate where the injury was. What more could anyone need to understand? It certainly was enough for the crowd gathered around us; but it wasn't enough for Mr. Barrymore, who is Irish and smarter about everything than anyone I've ever met. He sat there, with a completely blank yet serious expression, as if he were trying hard to grasp an idea but just couldn't. When the policeman finished, Mr. Barrymore sadly shook his head. "I wonder what you mean?" he murmured softly in English.
The Italian retold the story, his companion throwing a word into a pause now and then. Both patient men articulated with such careful nicety that the syllables fell from their mouths like clear-cut crystals. But Mr. Barrymore shook his head again; then, suddenly, with a joyous smile he seized a pocket-book from inside his coat. From this he tore out an important-looking document stamped with a red seal, and pointed from it to a lithographed signature at the foot.
The Italian shared the story while his friend chimed in occasionally. Both were calm and spoke with such precision that their words sounded like crisp crystals. But Mr. Barrymore shook his head again; then, suddenly, with a happy smile, he pulled a wallet from inside his coat. From it, he took out an important-looking document with a red seal and pointed to a printed signature at the bottom.
"Foreign Secretary; Lansdowne—Lord Lansdowne," he repeated. "Inglese. Inglese and Italiani sempre amici. Yes?" His smile embraced not only the long-suffering policemen but the crowd, who nodded their heads and laughed. Having made this [Pg 220] effect, Mr. Barrymore whipped out another impressive paper, which I could see was his permis de Conduire from the Department of Mines in Nice.
"Foreign Secretary; Lansdowne—Lord Lansdowne," he repeated. "Inglese. Inglese and Italiani sempre amici. Yes?" His smile included not just the weary policemen but also the crowd, who nodded and laughed. Having made this impact, Mr. Barrymore pulled out another impressive document, which I could see was his permis de Conduire from the Department of Mines in Nice.
He pointed to the official stamp on this document, and with the childlike pride of one who stammers a few words of a foreign tongue, he exclaimed, "Nizza. Nizza la bella." With this, he looked the giants so full and kindly in the face, and seemed to be so greatly enjoying himself, that every one laughed again, and two young men cheered, appearing to be rather ashamed of themselves afterwards. Then, as if every requirement must at last be satisfied, he made as if to go on. But the conscientious comrades, though evidently faint and discouraged, hadn't yet given up hope or played their last card, despite the yards of English red tape with which those two stamped papers had fed their appetite for officialism.
He pointed to the official stamp on this document and, with the childlike pride of someone who stumbles over a few words in a foreign language, he exclaimed, "Nizza. Nizza la bella." With that, he looked the giants right in the face with warmth and joy, and he seemed to be having such a great time that everyone laughed again, while two young men cheered, looking a bit embarrassed afterwards. Then, as if every requirement needed to be met, he pretended to move on. But the dedicated comrades, though obviously exhausted and discouraged, hadn't given up hope or played their last card yet, despite the piles of English red tape those two stamped papers had fed their appetite for bureaucracy.
The taller of the pair laid his black glove on our mud-guard, cracked by the flapping tyre days ago, and to be mended (I'd heard Mr. Barrymore say) at the garage in Mestre. With such dramatic gestures as only the Latin races command, he attempted to prove that the mud-guard must have been broken in the collision near Bergamo, of which his mind was full
The taller of the two placed his black glove on our mud guard, which had been cracked by the flapping tire a few days earlier and was supposed to be fixed at the garage in Mestre (I had heard Mr. Barrymore say). With the kind of dramatic gestures that only the Latin races can pull off, he tried to convince us that the mud guard had to have been damaged in the crash near Bergamo, which was clearly on his mind.
At last our Chauffeulier comprehended something. He jumped out of the throbbing car, and in his turn went through a pantomime. From a drawer under the seat he produced the rubber skin that had come off our tyre, showed how it fitted on, how it had become detached, and how it had lashed the mud-guard as we moved. Everybody, including the policemen, displayed the liveliest interest in this performance. The instant it was over, Mr. Barrymore took his place again, coiled up the rubber snake, and this time without asking leave, but with a low bow to the representatives of local law, drove the car smartly back into the town. What could the thwarted giants do after such an experience but stand looking after us and make the best of things?
At last, our chauffeur understood something. He jumped out of the revving car and started a little show of his own. He pulled out the rubber piece that had come off our tire from a drawer under the seat, demonstrated how it fit on, how it fell off, and how it had hit the mudguard as we drove. Everyone, including the police officers, was really interested in this demonstration. As soon as it was done, Mr. Barrymore got back in his seat, coiled up the rubber piece, and this time without asking permission, but with a polite nod to the local law enforcement, drove the car confidently back into town. What could the frustrated authority figures do after witnessing that but stand there and make the best of the situation?
"It was our salvation that we'd lost our way and were driving towards Bergamo instead of out," said the conqueror triumphantly. [Pg 221] "You see, they thought probably they'd got hold of the wrong car, as the accused one had been coming from Lecco. What with that impression, and their despair at my idiocy, they were ready to give us the benefit of the doubt and save their faces. Otherwise, though we were innocent and the driver of the cart merely 'trying it on,' we might have been hung up here for ten days."
"It was a blessing in disguise that we got lost and were heading towards Bergamo instead of away," said the conqueror with a smirk. [Pg 221] "You see, they probably thought they had pulled over the wrong car since the real suspect had come from Lecco. With that thought in mind and their frustration over my stupidity, they were willing to give us the benefit of the doubt and save face. Otherwise, even though we were innocent and the cart driver was just 'testing the waters,' we might have been stuck here for ten days."
"Oh, could they have hung us?" gasped Aunt Kathryn. "What a dreadful thing Italian law must be."
"Oh, could they have actually hanged us?" Aunt Kathryn gasped. "What a terrible thing Italian law must be."
Then we all laughed so much that she was vexed, and when Beechy called her a "stupid little Mamma," snapped back that anyhow she wasn't stupid enough to forget her Italian—if she knew any—just when it was needed.
Then we all laughed so hard that she got annoyed, and when Beechy called her a "stupid little Mamma," she shot back that at least she wasn't dumb enough to forget her Italian—if she knew any—right when it was needed.
She is too sweet-tempered to be cross for long, however, and the way towards Brescia was so charming that she forgot her annoyance. Though the surface was not so good as it had been, it was not too bad; and our noble tyres, which had borne so much, seemed to spurn the slight irregularities. With every twenty yards we had a new view, as if the landscape slowly turned, to assume different patterns like the pieces in a kaleidoscope. On our left the mountains appeared to march on with us always, white and majestic, with strange, violet shadows floating mysteriously.
She’s too sweet-natured to stay upset for long, and the route to Brescia was so lovely that she forgot her irritation. Even though the road wasn’t as smooth as it used to be, it wasn’t too bad; and our sturdy tires, which had handled so much, seemed to brush off the minor bumps. Every twenty yards offered a new view, as if the landscape was slowly shifting to show different patterns like pieces in a kaleidoscope. On our left, the mountains seemed to march alongside us, white and majestic, with mysterious violet shadows floating above.
Set back from the roadside, behind rich meadows rippling with gold and silver grain, were huge farmhouses, with an air of dignity born of self-respect and venerable age. We had pretty garden glimpses, too, and once in a while passed a fine mansion, good enough to call itself a château so long as there were no real ones in the neighbourhood. Often chestnut-trees in full glory of white blossom, as if blazing with fairy candles, lined our way for miles. There was snow of hawthorne too—"May," our two men called it—and ranks of little feathery white trees, such as I knew no name for, looking like a procession of brides, or young girls going to their first communion. Then, to brighten the white land with colour, there were clumps of lilac, clouds of rose-pink apple blossoms, blue streaks that meant beds of violets, and a yellow fire of iris rising straight and bright as flame along the [Pg 222] edges of green, roadside streams.
Set back from the road, behind lush meadows flowing with golden and silver grain, were large farmhouses that exuded a sense of dignity rooted in self-respect and age. We caught glimpses of lovely gardens too, and every once in a while, we’d pass a grand house good enough to call itself a château, as long as there weren't any real ones nearby. Often, chestnut trees, bursting with white blossoms that looked like they were lit with fairy lights, lined our path for miles. There was also the white bloom of hawthorn—what our two men called “May”—and rows of small, feathery white trees, which I didn’t know the name of, resembling a procession of brides or young girls heading to their first communion. To add some color to the white landscape, there were clusters of lilac, clouds of rosy-pink apple blossoms, blue streaks indicating beds of violets, and a bright yellow patch of iris rising straight and vibrant as flame along the edges of green roadside streams.
Just as we came into a splendid old Italian town, thunder began to growl like a lion hiding in the mountains. A few drops of rain splashed on our motor-hoods, and a sudden chill wind gathered up the sweet country scents into one bouquet to fling at us.
Just as we entered a beautiful old Italian town, thunder started to rumble like a lion concealed in the mountains. A few drops of rain splattered on our hoods, and a sudden chill wind gathered all the lovely country scents into one bouquet to toss at us.
"Here we are at Brescia. Shall we stop for the storm and have tea?" asked Mr. Barrymore.
"Here we are in Brescia. Should we wait for the storm and have some tea?" asked Mr. Barrymore.
Aunt Kathryn said "yes" at once, for she doesn't like getting wet, and can't bear to have the rain spray on her face, though I love it. So we drove quickly through streets, each one of which made a picture with its old brown palaces, its stone steps with pretty women chatting in groups under red umbrellas, its quaint bridge flung across the river, or its pergola of vines. Past a magnificent cathedral we went as the bells rang for vespers, and children, young girls, old black-shawled women, smart soldiers, and gallant-looking, tall officers answered their call. Thus we arrived at a quaint hotel, with a garden on the river's edge; and under a thick arbour of chestnut-trees (impervious to floods) we drank coffee and ate heart-shaped cakes, while the thunder played wild music for us on a vast cathedral organ in the sky.
Aunt Kathryn immediately said "yes" because she doesn't like getting wet and can't stand the rain splashing on her face, even though I love it. So we drove quickly through the streets, each one a scene with its old brown buildings, stone steps where pretty women chatted in groups under red umbrellas, its charming bridge over the river, or its trellis of vines. We passed a magnificent cathedral as the bells rang for evening prayers, and children, young girls, older women in black shawls, dapper soldiers, and handsome tall officers responded to their call. Eventually, we reached a charming hotel with a garden by the river; and under a thick canopy of chestnut trees (which were safe from flooding), we had coffee and ate heart-shaped cakes while thunder played wild music for us on a huge cathedral organ in the sky.
"No wonder the soldiers are smart and the officers fine," said the Chauffeulier, in answer to a remark of mine which Beechy echoed. "Brescia deserves them more than most towns of Italy, for you know she has always been famous for the military genius and courage of her men, and once she was second only to Milan in importance. Venice—whose vassal she was—had a right to be proud of her. The history of the great siege, wherein Bayard got the wound which he thought would be mortal, is as interesting as a novel. 'The Escape of Tartaglia' and 'The Generosity of Bayard' are bits that make you want to shout aloud."
"No wonder the soldiers are sharp and the officers are great," said the Chauffeulier, responding to my comment that Beechy agreed with. "Brescia deserves them more than most towns in Italy, because she's always been known for the military talent and bravery of her men, and at one point, she was only second to Milan in significance. Venice—of which she was a vassal—had every reason to be proud of her. The history of the great siege, where Bayard got the wound he thought would be fatal, is as captivating as a novel. 'The Escape of Tartaglia' and 'The Generosity of Bayard' are parts that make you want to cheer."
"And yet we'll pass on, and see nothing, except those panorama-like glimpses," I sighed. "Oh motoring, motoring, and motor maniacs!"
"And yet we'll move on and see nothing, except for those panoramic glimpses," I sighed. "Oh driving, driving, and crazy drivers!"
"How often one has that half-pleasant, half-regretful feeling about things or people one flashes by on the road," soliloquized [Pg 223] Sir Ralph, pleasantly resigned to the pain of parting. I have it continually, especially about some of the beautiful, dark-eyed girls I see, and leave behind before I've fairly catalogued their features. I say to myself, "Lovely flower of beauty, wasted in the dust of the roadside. Alas! I leave you for ever. What is to be your fate? Will you grow old soon, under your peasant-burdens and cares? How sad it is that I shall never know your history."
"How often do I get that mix of pleasant and regretful feelings about people or things I pass by on the road," Sir Ralph mused, accepting the pain of parting. I feel it all the time, especially about some of the beautiful, dark-eyed girls I see and leave behind before I've really taken in their features. I tell myself, "Such a beautiful flower, wasted in the dust of the roadside. Oh no! I leave you for good. What will happen to you? Will you age quickly under your burdens and worries? It's so sad that I'll never know your story."
"It wouldn't be a bit interesting," said Beechy. "But I suppose that theory won't comfort you any more than it did Maida the other day, when she tried too late to save a fly from dying in some honey, and I consoled her by saying it probably wasn't at all a nice fly, if one had known it."
"It wouldn't be interesting at all," said Beechy. "But I guess that theory won't make you feel any better than it did Maida the other day, when she tried too late to save a fly from dying in some honey, and I tried to comfort her by saying it probably wasn't a nice fly anyway, if we had known it."
"No, it doesn't console me," Sir Ralph complained. "Still, there's a certain thrill in the thought of bursting like a thunderbolt into the midst of other people's tragedies, comedies, or romances, just catching a fleeting glimpse of their possibilities and tearing on again. But there are some creatures we meet that I'm glad to lose sight of. Not those who glare anarchically, unconsciously betraying their outlook on life; not the poor slow old people who blunder in the way, and stare vacantly up at our fiery chariot—so strange a development of the world for them; not the dogs that yelp, and are furious if we don't realize that they're frightening us. No, but the horrid little jeering boys, who run beside the car at their best speed when we're forging up perpendicular hills on our lowest. These are the creatures I would wipe out of existence with one fierce wish, if I had it in me. To think that they—they—should have the power to humiliate us. I don't get back my self-respect till we're on a level, or my joie de vivre until we're shooting downhill, and can hold our own with a forty horse-power motor, to say nothing of a one-horse, Italian village boy."
"No, it doesn't make me feel better," Sir Ralph complained. "Still, there's a certain excitement in the idea of crashing into other people's dramas, comedies, or love stories, just catching a brief glimpse of their potential and moving on. But there are some people we encounter that I'm glad to forget. Not those who stare angrily, unknowingly revealing their views on life; not the poor slow elderly folks who stumble in the way and gaze up at our blazing chariot—it's such a strange change in the world for them; not the dogs barking, who get furious if we don’t recognize that they’re trying to scare us. No, it’s the awful little sneering boys who run alongside the car at full speed when we're struggling up steep hills on our last bit of power. These are the ones I would erase from existence with one fierce wish, if I had that power. To think that they—*they*—can make us feel humiliated. I don't regain my self-respect until we're on level ground, or my *joie de vivre* until we're speeding downhill and can keep up with a forty horsepower engine, not to mention a single horse, Italian village boy."
"What a revelation of vindictiveness, where one would least expect it!" exclaimed Mr. Barrymore. "But the rain's over. Shall we go on?" And we all agreed eagerly, as we probably [Pg 224] should in Paradise, if it were a question of motoring.
"What a surprising display of spite, where you'd least expect it!" exclaimed Mr. Barrymore. "But the rain has stopped. Should we continue?" And we all agreed enthusiastically, just as we probably would in Paradise if it involved driving. [Pg 224]
XVIII
A CHAPTER ACCORDING TO SHAKSPERE
"Another Cuneo!" groaned Aunt Kathryn, at sight of the hotel in the steep little town of Desenzano, on Lake Garda; but later she apologized to the quaint court-yard for her misunderstanding, and was more than tolerant of her vast bedroom draped with yellow satin, and opening on an arboured terrace worthy even of a Countess Dalmar.
"Another Cuneo!" Aunt Kathryn groaned when she saw the hotel in the steep little town of Desenzano, on Lake Garda; but later she apologized to the charming courtyard for her misunderstanding and was more than accepting of her huge bedroom draped in yellow satin that opened onto a lovely terrace, fit even for a Countess Dalmar.
For miles our way towards Verona next morning was pink and white with chestnut bloom. Even the shadows seemed warmly pink under the long unbroken arch of flowering trees. Far away, behind the green netting of their branches, we caught blue flashes of lake and mountain peaks of amethyst, while Beechy wished for a dozen noses dotted about here and there at convenient intervals on her body, so that she might make the most of the perfumed air. "But you would want them all cut off when you got to the nearest town," remarked Aunt Kathryn.
For miles on our way to Verona the next morning, the landscape was pink and white with chestnut blossoms. Even the shadows looked warmly pink under the long, unbroken canopy of flowering trees. In the distance, behind the green curtain of their branches, we glimpsed blue flashes of the lake and the amethyst mountain peaks, while Beechy wished she had a dozen noses scattered around her body so she could fully enjoy the fragrant air. "But you'd want them all removed when you got to the nearest town," Aunt Kathryn pointed out.
Ever since Brescia, the road had been so smooth and well kept that it was as if we had come into a different country; but Mr. Barrymore said it was because we were now under the jurisdiction of Venice—Venice, as rich and practical as romantic. And I had to repeat the name over and over in my mind—Verona and Padua too—to make myself believe that we were actually so near.
Ever since Brescia, the road had been so smooth and well-maintained that it felt like we had entered a different country; but Mr. Barrymore said it was because we were now under the jurisdiction of Venice—Venice, as wealthy and practical as it is romantic. And I had to repeat the names in my mind—Verona and Padua too—to convince myself that we were actually this close.
Horses were better trained in this district, and "knew a motor when they saw it." Even a drove of sheep (near the wonderful [Pg 225] fortress of Peschiera with its coiled python of a river) seemed comparatively indifferent as they surged round us in a foaming wave of wool. But then, sheep have no facial expression. All other four-footed things show emotion by a change of countenance, just as human beings do—more, because they don't conceal their feelings—but sheep look as if they wore foolishly smiling masks. Even when, as their ranks closed in around the automobile, we broke a chain with a pretty little tinkling noise, and some of the sheep tripped up on it, they did nothing but smile and merely mention "ba-a" in an indifferent, absent-minded way.
Horses were better trained in this area and "recognized a motor when they saw one." Even a herd of sheep (near the impressive [Pg 225] fortress of Peschiera with its winding river) seemed relatively indifferent as they surged around us in a foamy wave of wool. But then, sheep don’t have any facial expressions. All other four-legged animals show emotion through changes in their faces, just like humans do—more so, because they don't hide their feelings—but sheep look as if they’re wearing silly, smiling masks. Even when, as their ranks closed in around the car, we broke a chain with a pleasant little tinkling sound, and some of the sheep stumbled over it, they did nothing but smile and casually utter "ba-a" in a careless, absent-minded way.
"If you only knew how much nicer you are with mint sauce!" Beechy taunted them, as we swept round a corner and were in the labyrinth of the fortress, which was, our men told us, part of the once famous quadrilateral that made trouble for Italy in '48.
"If you only knew how much better you taste with mint sauce!" Beechy teased them as we turned a corner and entered the maze of the fortress, which, according to our men, was part of the once-famous quadrilateral that caused issues for Italy in '48.
"There's something pathetic about old, obsolete forts as grand as Peschiera," Mr. Barrymore said to me. "So much thought and money spent, the best military science of the day employed to make a stronghold as feeble against modern arms as a fort of cards. Such a fortress seems like an aged warrior, past his fighting days, or an old hunting dog, as keen on the chase as ever, poor fellow, but too old to move from before the fire, where he can only lie and dream of past triumphs."
"There's something sad about old, outdated forts as grand as Peschiera," Mr. Barrymore said to me. "So much thought and money spent, the best military strategies of the time used to create a stronghold that's as weak against modern weapons as a house of cards. Such a fortress feels like an old warrior, past his fighting days, or an old hunting dog, just as eager to chase as ever, poor thing, but too old to get up from in front of the fire, where he can only lie and dream of past victories."
"I was thinking almost exactly the same!" I exclaimed, and I liked Mr. Barrymore all the better; for it draws you nearer to a person when you find that your thoughts resemble each other in shape and colour. Oddly enough, it's often so with Mr. Barrymore and me; which is the reason it's so agreeable to have the place beside him when he drives.
"I was thinking almost the same thing!" I said, and I liked Mr. Barrymore even more; it's nice to feel close to someone when you realize your thoughts are similar. Funny enough, that often happens with Mr. Barrymore and me, which is why I enjoy sitting next to him when he drives.
No more than half a dozen miles from Peschiera we saw the Tower of San Martino, raised on the great battlefield of Solferino. By this time we had left the lake behind; but we had exchanged the low, amethyst mountains for tall white ones, glorious pinnacles of snow which were the higher Austrian Alps. Everything was impressive on this road to Verona, even the farmhouses, of an entirely different character from those of the "yesterday [Pg 226] country;" and then, at last, we came in sight of Verona herself, lying low within a charmed circle of protecting hills, on which castles and white villas looked down from among cypresses and rose-pink almond trees.
No more than six miles from Peschiera, we spotted the Tower of San Martino, situated on the historic battlefield of Solferino. By this point, we had left the lake behind; however, we had traded the low, amethyst mountains for tall white ones, stunning snow-capped peaks of the higher Austrian Alps. Everything along this road to Verona was striking, including the farmhouses, which were completely different from those of the "yesterday country;" and finally, we caught our first glimpse of Verona itself, nestled low within a protective circle of hills where castles and white villas overlooked cypress trees and pale pink almond blossoms.
I was glad that the gateway by which we entered Verona was the finest through which we had passed, for though Mr. Barrymore called the town "an inn for the great travellers of history," it was more for me. It was the home of romance; for was it not Juliet's home and Romeo's?
I was glad that the entrance we took into Verona was the best one we had seen, because even though Mr. Barrymore called the town "a stopover for the great travelers of history," it meant more to me. It was the place of romance; after all, wasn’t it Juliet’s home and Romeo’s?
That gateway, and the splendid old crenellated bridge of dark red brick (toning deliciously with the clear, beryl-green of the swift-rushing Adda) made a noble, preface for the city. And then, each old, old street into which we turned was a new joy. What lessons for modern architects in those time-softened brick façades, with the moulded arches of terra-cotta framing the green open-work of the shutters!
That gateway and the beautiful old crenellated bridge made of dark red brick (which looked fantastic against the clear, beryl-green of the fast-moving Adda River) set a grand scene for the city. Every old street we turned onto was a new delight. There are so many lessons for modern architects in those aged, softened brick facades, with the molded terra-cotta arches framing the green, decorative shutters!
I began to feel a sense of exaltation, as if I had listened to an anthem played by a master hand on a cathedral organ. I couldn't have told any one, but I happened to glance at Mr. Barrymore, and he at me, just as he had driven into the piazza where Dante's house looks down over the tombs of the Scaligers. Then he smiled, and said, "Yes, I know. I always feel like that, too, when I come here—but even more in Venice."
I started to feel an amazing thrill, like I was hearing a powerful anthem played by a skilled musician on a cathedral organ. I couldn't explain it to anyone, but I accidentally caught Mr. Barrymore's eye, and he caught mine right as he pulled into the piazza where Dante's house overlooks the Scaliger tombs. Then he smiled and said, "Yeah, I get that feeling too when I'm here—but even more so in Venice."
"How am I feeling?" I asked, smiling with him.
"How am I feeling?" I asked, smiling with him.
"Oh, a little bit as if your soul had got out of your body and taken a bath in a mountain spring, after you'd been staggering up some of the steep paths of life in the dust and sun. Isn't that it?"
"Oh, it's kind of like your soul has stepped out of your body and taken a dip in a mountain spring, after you’ve been struggling up some of life’s steep paths in the dust and sun. Isn’t that right?"
"Yes. Thank you," I answered. And we seemed to understand each other so well that I was almost frightened.
"Yeah. Thanks," I replied. And it felt like we understood each other so perfectly that I was almost scared.
"I want all these streets for mine," said Beechy, in a chattering mood. "Oh, and especially the market-place, with that strange old fountain, and the booths under the red umbrellas like scarlet mushrooms. Mamma, have you got money enough to buy them for me, and have them packed up in a big box with dried [Pg 227] moss, like the toy villages, and expressed to Denver?"
"I want all these streets to be mine," said Beechy, feeling chatty. "Oh, and especially the marketplace, with that weird old fountain, and the stalls under the red umbrellas like bright red mushrooms. Mom, do you have enough money to buy them for me and pack them in a big box with dried moss, like the toy villages, and send them to Denver?"
"Speaking of dried moss, all these lovely old churches and palaces and monuments look as if history had covered them with a kind of delicate lichen," I said, more to Mr. Barrymore than to Beechy. "And it enhances their beauty, as the lace of a bride's veil enhances the beauty of her face."
"Talking about dried moss, all these beautiful old churches, palaces, and monuments look like history has adorned them with a sort of delicate lichen," I said, directing my words more to Mr. Barrymore than to Beechy. "And it adds to their beauty, just like a bride's lace veil enhances her face."
"Or a nun's veil," cut in Beechy. I wonder why she says things like that so often lately? Well, perhaps it's best that I should be reminded of my vocation, but it gives me a cold, desolate feeling for a minute, and seems to throw a constraint upon us all.
"Or a nun's veil," Beechy interjected. I wonder why she’s been saying things like that so much lately? Well, maybe it’s a good idea to be reminded of my calling, but it gives me a cold, lonely feeling for a moment and seems to put a strain on all of us.
We had made the Chauffeulier stop three or four times in every street to look at some beautiful bit; a gate of flexible iron-work that even Ruskin must have admired, the doorway of a church, the wonderful windows of a faded palace; but suddenly I felt ready to go to the hotel, where we were to stop for the night, that we might do our sight-seeing slowly.
We had made the Chauffeulier stop three or four times on each street to appreciate some beautiful sights: a gate of flexible ironwork that even Ruskin would have admired, the entrance of a church, the amazing windows of a worn-out palace; but suddenly I felt ready to head to the hotel, where we were staying for the night, so we could take our time with the sightseeing.
It was a delightful hotel, itself once a palace, and to be there was to be "in the picture," in such a place as Verona. The Prince had arrived before us, as his motor is retrieving its reputation, and we all lunched together, making plans for the afternoon.
It was a charming hotel, once a palace, and being there felt like being "in the picture" in a place like Verona. The Prince had arrived before us, as his car was regaining its reputation, and we all had lunch together, making plans for the afternoon.
As usual, he was blasé—so different from Mr. Barrymore, who has seen the best things in Italy as often as Prince Dalmar-Kalm has, yet never tires; indeed, finds something new each time.
As usual, he was unimpressed—so different from Mr. Barrymore, who has experienced the best of Italy just as often as Prince Dalmar-Kalm, yet never gets bored; in fact, he discovers something new every time.
The Prince began by announcing that Verona bored him. But one could always go to sleep.
The Prince started by saying that Verona was boring him. But you could always just take a nap.
"That's what I mean to do," said Aunt Kathryn, who generally takes her cue from him. "I consider that I've seen Verona now, and I shall lie down this afternoon. Perhaps later I shall write a few letters in the hall."
"That's what I plan to do," said Aunt Kathryn, who usually follows his lead. "I feel like I've seen enough of Verona now, and I’ll take a nap this afternoon. Maybe later I'll write a few letters in the hall."
I was unkind enough to fancy this a hint for the Prince, but perhaps I wronged her. And anyway, why should she not give him hints if she likes? He has been very attentive to her, although for the last few days I don't think they have been quite so much in "each others' pockets" (as Beechy calls it) as before.
I was unkind enough to think this was a hint for the Prince, but maybe I misjudged her. And besides, why shouldn’t she give him hints if she wants to? He’s been very attentive to her, although in the last few days, I don’t think they’ve been quite as much in “each other’s pockets” (as Beechy puts it) as they were before.
[Pg 228] A little attention was needed by the automobile, it appeared—such as a tightening up of chains, and a couple of lost grease-cups to replace; therefore Mr. Barrymore's time would be filled up without any sight-seeing. But Sir Ralph offered to take Beechy and me anywhere we liked to go. I was very glad that the Prince said nothing about accompanying us, for somehow I'd been afraid he would.
[Pg 228] It seemed the car needed some attention—like tightening the chains and replacing a couple of missing grease cups; so Mr. Barrymore would be busy without any sight-seeing. But Sir Ralph offered to take Beechy and me wherever we wanted to go. I was relieved that the Prince didn't mention joining us, as I had somehow dreaded that he would.
We consulted guide-books until we were bewildered, but in the midst of confusion I held fast to two things. We had seen Romeo's house, towering picturesquely behind the Scaligers' tombs; but I wanted to see where Juliet had lived, and where she had been buried.
We looked through guidebooks until we were completely lost, but even in the chaos, I clung to two things. We had visited Romeo's house, standing charmingly behind the Scaligers' tombs; but I really wanted to see where Juliet had lived and where she had been buried.
"The Prince says it's all nonsense," exclaimed Aunt Kathryn. "If there was a slight foundation for the story in a great family scandal here about Shakspere's time, anyhow there's none for the houses or the tomb—"
"The Prince says it's all nonsense," Aunt Kathryn exclaimed. "If there was any basis for the story in some big family scandal during Shakspere's time, there’s definitely none for the houses or the tomb—"
Beechy stopped her ears. "You're real mean," she said, "you and the Prince both. It's just as bad as when you thought it your duty to tell me there was no Santa Claus. But I don't care; there is. I shall believe it when I'm seventeen; and I believe in the Romeo and Juliet houses too."
Beechy covered her ears. "You're so mean," she said, "you and the Prince both. It's just as bad as when you thought it was your duty to tell me there was no Santa Claus. But I don't care; there is one. I’ll believe it when I'm seventeen; and I believe in the Romeo and Juliet houses too."
But when we were in the street of Juliet's house—she and Sir Ralph and I—Beechy pouted. Standing with her hands behind her, her long braids of hair dangling half-way down her short skirt as she threw back her head to gaze up, she looked incredibly modern and American. "There were no tourists' agencies in those days," she remarked, regretfully, "so I suppose Shakspere had to trust to hearsay, and somebody must have told him a big tarradiddle. I guess Juliet was really on a visit to an aunt in the country when she first met Romeo, for fancy a girl in her senses yelling down from that balcony up at the top of a tall house to any lover, let alone a secret one? Besides, there wouldn't have been enough rope in Verona to make the ladder for Romeo to climb up."
But when we were on the street by Juliet's house—she, Sir Ralph, and I—Beechy was pouting. With her hands behind her, her long braids hanging halfway down her short skirt as she threw her head back to look up, she looked incredibly modern and American. "There weren’t any tourist agencies back then," she said with a hint of regret, "so I guess Shakespeare had to rely on hearsay, and someone must have fed him a huge tall tale. I think Juliet was actually visiting an aunt in the countryside when she first met Romeo, because can you imagine a girl in her right mind shouting down from that balcony at the top of a tall house to any lover, let alone a secret one? Plus, there wouldn’t have been enough rope in Verona to make a ladder for Romeo to climb."
After this speech, I decided that, fond as I really am of her, I [Pg 229] could not visit Juliet's tomb in Beechy's society. I gave no hint of my intentions, but after an exquisite hour (which nobody could spoil) in that most adorable of churches, San Zenone, and another in Sant' Anastasia, I slipped away while Beechy and Sir Ralph were picking out the details of St. Peter's life on the panels of a marvellous pilaster.
After this speech, I decided that, as much as I really care about her, I [Pg 229] could not visit Juliet's tomb with Beechy. I didn’t give any hint of my plans, but after an amazing hour (which nobody could ruin) in that charming church, San Zenone, and another in Sant' Anastasia, I quietly slipped away while Beechy and Sir Ralph were choosing the details of St. Peter's life on the panels of a stunning pilaster.
We had had a cab by the hour; and when they should discover my absence, they would take it for granted that I had got tired and gone home. They would then proceed to carry out their programme of sight-seeing very happily without me, for Beechy amuses Sir Ralph immensely, child as she is, and she makes no secret of taking pleasure in his society. She teases him, and he likes it; he draws her out, and her wit brightens in the process.
We had rented a cab by the hour, and when they noticed I was missing, they would assume I got tired and went home. They would then happily continue with their sightseeing plans without me, because Beechy really entertains Sir Ralph, even though she’s just a kid, and she openly enjoys being with him. She playfully irritates him, and he enjoys it; he encourages her to express herself, and her wit shines through as they interact.
I hurried off when their backs were turned. Not far away I found a prowling cab, and told the man to drive me to Juliet's tomb. He stared, as if in surprise, for I suppose girls of our class don't go about much alone in Italian towns; but he condescended to accept me as a fare. However, to show his disapproval maybe, he rattled me through streets old and beautiful, ugly and modern (why should most modern things be ugly, even in Italy?) at a tremendous pace. At last he stopped before a high, blank wall, in a most dismal region, apparently the outskirts of the town. I would hardly believe that he had brought me to the right place, but he reassured me. In the distance another cab was approaching, probably on the same errand. I rang a bell, and a gate was opened by a nice-looking woman, who knew well what I wanted without my telling, and she spoke so clearly that I was able to understand much of what she said. Instead of feeling that the romance of visiting Juliet's burial-place was destroyed by traversing the great open square of the communal stables, where an annual horse show is held, I was conscious of a strange charm in the unsuitable surroundings. It was like coming upon a beautiful white pearl in a battered old oyster-shell, to pass through this narrow gateway at the far end of a dusty square, and find myself face to face with a glimmering tomb in a quiet cloister.
I rushed away when they weren’t looking. Not far off, I found a roaming cab and asked the driver to take me to Juliet's tomb. He looked surprised, probably thinking girls like me don’t wander alone in Italian towns, but he agreed to take me. To maybe show his disapproval, he sped me through streets that were both old and beautiful and ugly and modern (why do most modern things have to be ugly, even in Italy?) at an unbelievable pace. Finally, he stopped in front of a tall, blank wall in a pretty dreary area, seemingly on the outskirts of the town. I could hardly believe he had brought me to the right spot, but he reassured me. In the distance, another cab was coming, likely for the same reason. I rang a bell, and a nice-looking woman opened the gate. She seemed to know exactly what I wanted without me saying anything, and she spoke so clearly that I understood much of what she said. Instead of feeling like the romance of visiting Juliet's burial site was ruined by passing through the large open square of the communal stables, where they hold an annual horse show, I felt a strange charm in the mismatched surroundings. It was like discovering a beautiful white pearl inside a battered old oyster shell, to pass through that narrow gateway at the far end of a dusty square and find myself face to face with a gleaming tomb in a quiet cloister.
[Pg 230] The strong contrast between the sordid exterior and this dainty, hidden interior was nothing less than dramatic. The lights and shadows played softly at hide-and-seek, like dumb children, over the grass, among the pillars of the little cloister, over the tomb itself. I was thankful to be alone, troubled by no fellow-tourists, safe from little Beechy's too comical fancies, free to be as sentimental as I liked. And I liked to be very sentimental indeed.
[Pg 230] The stark contrast between the grim outside and this delicate, hidden inside was nothing short of dramatic. The lights and shadows softly played hide-and-seek, like silent children, over the grass, among the pillars of the small cloister, and over the tomb itself. I was grateful to be alone, bothered by no fellow tourists, safe from little Beechy's overly silly ideas, and free to be as sentimental as I wanted. And I really enjoyed being very sentimental.
I stood by the tomb, feeling almost like a mourner, when a voice made me start. "Is it Juliet's spirit?" asked Prince Dalmar-Kalm.
I stood by the tomb, feeling almost like a mourner, when a voice startled me. "Is it Juliet's spirit?" asked Prince Dalmar-Kalm.
I would rather it had been any one else. "How odd that you should come here!" I exclaimed, while my face must have shown that the surprise was not too pleasant.
I would have preferred it to be anyone else. "How strange that you would show up here!" I said, though my expression likely revealed that the surprise wasn't exactly welcome.
"It is not at all odd. You are here," answered the Prince. "You said at déjeuner that you were coming, if you had to come alone. Eh bien? I saw Miss Beechy and Sir Ralph Moray driving together, deep in Baedeker. My heart told me where you were; and I arrive to find you looking like Juliet come to life again. Perhaps it is so indeed. Perhaps you were Juliet in another incarnation. Yes, I feel sure you were. And I was Romeo."
"It’s not strange at all. You’re here," the Prince replied. "You mentioned at lunch that you’d come, even if you had to come alone. Well? I saw Miss Beechy and Sir Ralph Moray driving together, really focused on their guidebook. My heart told me where you were, and I arrive to find you looking like Juliet brought back to life. Maybe it's true. Maybe you were Juliet in another life. Yes, I’m pretty sure you were. And I was Romeo."
"I'm sure you were not," I replied; but I could not help laughing at his stagey manner, though I was more annoyed than ever now, and annoyed with myself too. "I particularly wished to be alone here, or I wouldn't have slipped away from Beechy and Sir Ralph, so—"
"I'm sure you weren't," I replied; but I couldn't help laughing at his theatrical way of acting, even though I was more annoyed than ever now, and annoyed with myself too. "I really wanted to be alone here, or I wouldn't have sneaked away from Beechy and Sir Ralph, so—"
"And I particularly wished to be alone here with you, or I wouldn't have followed when you had slipped away from them," he broke in. "Oh, Miss Destrey—my Madeleine, you must listen to me. There could be no place in the world more appropriate to the tale of a man's love for a woman than this, where a man and woman died for love of one another."
"And I really wanted to be alone here with you, or I wouldn’t have come after you when you slipped away from them," he interrupted. "Oh, Miss Destrey—my Madeleine, you have to listen to me. There’s no place in the world more fitting for a story about a man’s love for a woman than this, where a man and woman died for each other’s love."
"I thought you called all this 'nonsense'?" I cut him short. "No, Prince, neither here nor anywhere must you speak of love to me, for I don't love you, and never could."
"I thought you called all this 'nonsense'?" I interrupted him. "No, Prince, you mustn't talk about love to me here or anywhere, because I don't love you and never could."
"I know that you mean to shut yourself away from the world," [Pg 231] he interrupted me again. "But you shall not. It would be sacrilege. You—the most beautiful, the most womanly girl in the world—to—"
"I know you want to isolate yourself from everyone," [Pg 231] he cut me off again. "But you can't. It would be a shame. You—the most beautiful, the most feminine girl in the world—to—"
"No more, please!" I cried. "It doesn't matter what my future is to be, for you will not be in it. I—"
"No more, please!" I yelled. "It doesn't matter what my future holds, because you won't be a part of it. I—"
"I must be in it. I adore you. I can't give you up. Haven't you seen from the first how I loved you?"
"I have to be part of it. I love you. I can't let you go. Haven't you noticed from the beginning how much I cared about you?"
"I thought I saw you liked trying to flirt when no one was looking. That sounds rather horrid, but—it's the truth."
"I thought I saw you enjoyed flirting when no one was around. That sounds pretty awful, but—it's the truth."
"You misjudged me cruelly. Have you no human ambition? I could place you among the highest in any land. With me, your beauty should shine as it never could in your own country. Is it nothing to you that I can make you a Princess?"
"You judged me harshly. Don't you have any dreams? I could elevate you to the top in any place. With me, your beauty would shine like it never could back home. Does it mean nothing to you that I can make you a Princess?"
"Less than nothing," I answered, "though perhaps it would be pretty of me to thank you for wanting to make me one. So I do thank you; and I'll thank you still more if you will go now, and leave me to my thoughts."
"Not at all," I replied, "but it might be nice of me to thank you for trying to make me one. So thanks; and I'll be even more grateful if you go now and let me think."
"I cannot go till I have made you understand how I love you, how indispensable you are to me," he persisted. And I grew really angry; for he had no right to persecute me, when I had refused him.
"I can't leave until you understand how much I love you, how essential you are to me," he kept insisting. And I got really angry; he had no right to bother me when I had turned him down.
"Very well, then, I shall go," I said, and would have passed him, but he seized my hand and held it fast.
"Alright, then, I will go," I said, and tried to move past him, but he grabbed my hand and held it tight.
It was this moment that Mr. Barrymore chose for paying his respects to Juliet's tomb; and I blushed as I have never blushed in my life, I think—blushed till the tears smarted in my eyes. I was afraid he would believe that I'd been letting Prince Dalmar-Kalm make love to me. But there was nothing to say, unless I were willing to have a scene, and that would have been hateful. Nor was there anything to do except the obvious thing, snatch my hand away; and that might seem to be only because some one had come. But how I should have loved to box the Prince's ears! I never dreamed that I had such a temper. I suppose, though, there must be something of the fishwife in every woman—something that comes boiling up to the surface once in a while, and [Pg 232] makes noblesse oblige hard to remember.
It was at that moment that Mr. Barrymore chose to visit Juliet's tomb, and I blushed like never before, so much that tears stung my eyes. I was worried he might think I had been letting Prince Dalmar-Kalm flirt with me. But I had nothing to say unless I wanted to create a scene, and that would have been terrible. There was nothing to do except the obvious thing, pull my hand away; but that might just look like I was reacting to someone arriving. But oh, how I would have loved to give the Prince a solid slap! I never realized I had such a temper. I guess there must be a bit of a fishwife in every woman—something that bubbles up to the surface now and then, making noblesse oblige hard to remember. [Pg 232]
The one relief to my feelings in this situation was given by my queer little new pet—the wisp of a black doggie I've named Airole, after the village where he grew. I'd brought him into the cloister in my arms hidden under a cape, because he had conceived a suspicious dislike of the cabman. Now he said all the things to the Prince that I wanted to say, and more, and would have snapped, if the Prince had not retired his hand in time.
The only relief I found in this situation came from my quirky little new pet—the tiny black dog I’ve named Airole, after the village where he was from. I had brought him into the cloister in my arms, hidden under a cape, because he had developed a strange dislike for the cab driver. Now he said everything I wanted to say to the Prince, and more, and would have snapped if the Prince hadn’t pulled his hand back in time.
The process of quieting Airole gave me the chance to make up my mind what I should do next. If I went away, I couldn't prevent Prince Dalmar-Kalm from going with me, and Mr. Barrymore would have a right to imagine that I wished to continue the interrupted scene. If I stayed it was open for him to fancy that I wanted to be with him; but between two evils one chooses the less; besides, a nice thing about Mr. Barrymore is that, notwithstanding his good looks and cleverness, he's not conceited—not conceited enough, I sometimes think, for he lets people misunderstand his position and often seems more amused than angry at a snub.
The process of calming Airole gave me the opportunity to decide what to do next. If I left, I couldn't stop Prince Dalmar-Kalm from coming with me, and Mr. Barrymore would probably think I wanted to continue the interrupted scene. If I stayed, he might assume I wanted to be with him; but when faced with two bad options, you choose the lesser one. Plus, one great thing about Mr. Barrymore is that, despite his good looks and intelligence, he’s not conceited—not as much as he could be, I sometimes think, because he allows people to misinterpret his position and often seems more amused than upset by a snub.
Acting on my quick decision, I said, "Oh, I'm glad you've come. You know so much about Verona. Please talk to me of this place—only don't say it isn't authentic, for that would be a jarring note."
Acting on my quick decision, I said, "Oh, I'm glad you’re here. You know so much about Verona. Please tell me about this place—just don’t say it isn’t authentic, because that would be a downer."
"I'm afraid I don't care enough whether things are authentic or not," he answered, both of us ignoring the Prince. "You know, in my country, legend and history are a good deal mixed, which makes for romance. Besides, I'm inclined to believe in stories that have been handed down from generation to generation—told by grandfathers to their grandchildren, and so on through the centuries till they've reached us. When they're investigated by the cold light of reason, at least they can seldom be disproved."
"I'm worried that I don’t care enough about whether things are real or not," he replied, both of us disregarding the Prince. "You see, in my country, legend and history are often blended together, which adds to the romance. Plus, I tend to believe in stories that have been passed down through the generations—shared by grandfathers to their grandchildren and so on through the ages until they reach us. When they're examined under the harsh light of reason, they can rarely be disproved."
I agreed, and the conversation went on, deliberately excluding the Prince. Each minute I said to myself, "Surely he'll go." But [Pg 233] he did not. He stayed while Mr. Barrymore and I discussed the genius of Shakspere, chiming in now and then as if nothing had happened, and remaining until we were ready to go.
I agreed, and the conversation continued, intentionally leaving the Prince out of it. Every minute, I thought to myself, "Surely he'll leave." But he didn’t. He stayed while Mr. Barrymore and I talked about the genius of Shakespeare, chiming in occasionally as if nothing had happened, and stayed until we were ready to leave.
At the cab there was another crisis. I hadn't yet entirely realized the Prince's stupendous capacity for what Beechy would put into one short, sharp word "Cheek." But I fully appreciated it when he calmly manifested his intention of getting into my cab, as if we had come together.
At the cab, there was another crisis. I hadn't fully grasped the Prince's incredible ability for what Beechy would describe in one short, sharp word: "Cheek." But I completely understood it when he calmly showed his intention of getting into my cab, as if we had arrived together.
Something had to be done instantly, or it would be too late.
Something needed to be done right away, or it would be too late.
Leaning from my seat so that the Prince had to wait with his foot on the step, I exclaimed, "Oh! Mr. Barrymore, won't you let me give you a lift? Prince Dalmar-Kalm has his own cab, and I'm alone in this."
Leaning from my seat so the Prince had to wait with his foot on the step, I said, "Oh! Mr. Barrymore, would you let me give you a lift? Prince Dalmar-Kalm has his own cab, and I'm alone in this."
"Thanks very much, I shall be delighted," said the Chauffeulier.
"Thank you so much, I'd be happy to," said the Chauffeur.
Even the Prince's audacity wasn't equal to the situation created by these tactics. He retired, hat in hand, looking so furious that I could hardly help laughing. Mr. Barrymore got in beside me, and we drove off leaving the Prince with nobody but his own cabman to vent his rage on.
Even the Prince's boldness couldn't match the situation created by these tactics. He left, hat in hand, looking so furious that I could barely contain my laughter. Mr. Barrymore got in next to me, and we drove off, leaving the Prince with no one but his cab driver to unleash his anger on.
I rather hoped, for a minute, that Mr. Barrymore would say something which would give me the chance for a vague word or two of explanation; but he didn't. He simply talked of indifferent things, telling me how the work on the car was finished, and how he had had time after all to wander among his favourite bits of Verona. And then, in a flash of understanding, I saw how much more tactful and manly it was in him not to mention the Prince. [Pg 234]
I briefly hoped that Mr. Barrymore would say something that would allow me to offer a vague word or two of explanation, but he didn’t. He just chatted about unimportant things, telling me how the car repairs were done and how he had finally found time to explore his favorite parts of Verona. Then, in a moment of realization, I understood how much more respectful and mature it was of him not to bring up the Prince. [Pg 234]
XIX
A CHAPTER OF PALACES AND PRINCES
What a pity clocks don't realize the interesting work they do in the making of history, as they go on ticking out moments which never before have been and never will be again! It would be such a reward for their patience; and I should like my watch to know how often I've thanked it lately for the splendid moments it has given me.
What a shame clocks don’t understand the important role they play in shaping history, as they keep ticking out moments that have never existed before and will never happen again! It would be a nice reward for their patience; and I would like my watch to know how many times I've thanked it lately for the amazing moments it has given me.
Some of those I had in Verona (no thanks to the Prince!) have really helped to develop my soul, and it used to need developing badly, poor dear; I see that now, though I didn't then. I never thought much about the development of souls, except that one must try hard to be good and do one's duty. But now I begin dimly to see many things, as if I caught glimpses of them, far away, and high up on some of the snowy mountain-tops we pass.
Some of the experiences I had in Verona (thanks to the Prince, of course!) have truly helped to shape my soul, which definitely needed some work back then; I realize that now, even if I didn't see it before. I never gave much thought to soul development, other than believing we should strive to be good and fulfill our responsibilities. But now I'm starting to faintly see many things, like catching glimpses of them, far away, up high on some of the snowy mountain peaks we pass.
Must one live through several incarnations, I wonder, for true development? Are some people great-minded because they have gone through many such phases, and are the wondrous geniuses of the world—such as Shakspere—the most developed of all? Then the poor commonplace or stupid people, who never have any real thoughts of their own, are they the undeveloped souls who haven't had their chance yet? If they are, how kind those who have gone further ought to be to them, and what generous allowances they ought to make, instead of being impatient, and pleased with themselves because they are cleverer.
Must one live through several lifetimes, I wonder, to truly grow? Are some people more open-minded because they’ve experienced many phases, and are the amazing geniuses of the world—like Shakespeare—the most evolved of all? Then what about the average or dull people, who never seem to have any real thoughts of their own? Are they the undeveloped souls who just haven’t had their opportunity yet? If so, how compassionate those who have progressed further should be towards them, and what generous allowances they should make, instead of being impatient and feeling satisfied with themselves just because they’re smarter.
I think I should like to send whole colonies of those poor "beginners" [Pg 235] to Italy to live for a while, because it might give them a step up for their next phase. As for myself, I'm going further every day, almost as fast, I hope, as the automobile goes.
I think I’d like to send entire groups of those poor "beginners" [Pg 235] to Italy to live for a while, because it might help them get ready for their next phase. As for me, I'm moving forward every day, almost as fast, I hope, as a car goes.
"She," as the Chauffeulier affectionately calls her, went especially fast and well the morning we swept out of Verona. There was an entrancing smell of Italy in the air. There is no other way to describe it—it is that and nothing else
"She," as the Chauffeulier fondly calls her, went especially fast and smooth the morning we left Verona. There was a captivating scent of Italy in the air. There's no other way to put it—it simply is that.
As long as Verona was still within sight, I kept looking back, just as you drink something delicious down to the last drop, when you know there can be no dregs. Only to see how the town lay at the foot of the mountains of the north, was to understand its powers of defence, and its importance to the dynasties and princes of the past. With Mr. Barrymore's help, I could trace one line of fortification after another, from the earliest Roman, through Charlemagne and the Scaligers, down to the modern Austrian.
As long as Verona was still in view, I kept looking back, just like you savor a delicious drink to the last drop, knowing there are no remnants left. Just seeing how the town sat at the base of the northern mountains helped me grasp its defensive strength and its significance to the dynasties and rulers of the past. With Mr. Barrymore's assistance, I could follow one line of fortification after another, from the earliest Roman structures, through Charlemagne and the Scaligers, all the way to the modern Austrian defenses.
No wonder that Verona was the first halting-place for the tribes of Germans, pouring down from their cold forests in the north to cross the Alps and rejoice in the sunshine of Italy! For Verona's nearness to the north and her striking difference to the north impressed me sharply, as a black line of shadow is cut out by the sun. Up a gap in the dark barrier of mountains I gazed where Mr. Barrymore pointed, towards the great Brenner Pass, leading straight to Innsbruck through Tyrol. How close the northern nations lay, yet in the warm Italian brightness how far away they seemed.
No wonder Verona was the first stop for the German tribes pouring down from their cold northern forests to cross the Alps and enjoy the sunshine of Italy! Verona's proximity to the north and its striking contrast to the north hit me hard, like a sharp shadow defined by sunlight. I looked up a gap in the dark mountain barrier where Mr. Barrymore pointed, towards the great Brenner Pass leading straight to Innsbruck through Tyrol. The northern nations felt so close, yet in the warm Italian sunshine, they seemed so far away.
But soon Verona disappeared, and we were speeding along a level road with far-off purple peaks upon our left, and away in front some floating blue shapes which it thrilled me to hear were actually the Euganean Hills. The Chauffeulier set them to music by quoting from Shelley's "Lines Written in Dejection in the Euganean Hills"—a sweet old-fashioned title of other days, and words so beautiful that for a moment I was depressed in sympathy—though I couldn't help feeling that I should be happy in the Euganean Hills. They called across the plain with siren [Pg 236] voices, asking me to come and explore their fastnesses of blue and gold, but Aunt Kathryn couldn't understand why. "They're not half so imposing as lots of mountains we've passed," she said. "And anyway, I think the beauty of mountains is overestimated. What are they to admire so much, anyhow, when you think of it, more than flat places? They are only great lumps at best."
But soon, Verona faded away, and we were zooming down a flat road with distant purple peaks on our left, and up ahead were some floating bluish shapes that thrilled me to learn were actually the Euganean Hills. The driver set them to music by quoting from Shelley's "Lines Written in Dejection in the Euganean Hills"—a charming, old-fashioned title from another time, and the words were so lovely that for a moment I felt a wave of sadness—though I couldn't shake the feeling that I would be happy in the Euganean Hills. They called across the plains with enchanting voices, tempting me to come and explore their blue and golden depths, but Aunt Kathryn couldn’t understand why. "They're not nearly as impressive as many of the mountains we've seen," she said. "And anyway, I think we overrate the beauty of mountains. What’s so special about them, anyway, compared to flat areas? They're just big lumps at best."
"Well," replied Sir Ralph, "if it comes to that, what's the sea but a big wet thing?"
"Well," replied Sir Ralph, "if it comes down to it, what’s the ocean but a huge wet expanse?"
"And what are people but a kind of superior ant, and the grandest palaces but big anthills?" Beechy chimed in. "I've often thought, supposing there were—well, Things, between gods and men, living here somewhere, invisible to us as we are to lots of little creatures, what kind of an idea would They get of us and our ways? They'd be always spying on us, of course, and making scientific observations, as we do on insects. I used to believe in Them, and be awfully afraid, when I was younger, because I used to think all the accidents and bad things that happened might be due to Their experiments. You see They'd be wondering why we did certain things; why lots of us all run to one place—like Venice, or any show city—instead of going to another nest of anthills; or why we all crowded into one anthill (like a church or theatre) at a particular time. So a theatre-fire would be when They'd touched the anthill with one of their cigars, to make the ants run out. Or a volcano would have an eruption because They'd poked the mountain with a great pin to see what would happen. Or when we're cut or hurt in any way, it's because They've marked us to know one from the other, as we run about. I do hope They're not thinking about us now, or They'll drop something and smash the automobile."
"And what are people but a kind of superior ant, and the grandest palaces just big anthills?" Beechy chimed in. "I've often thought, what if there were—well, beings, between gods and men, living here somewhere, invisible to us just like we are to lots of little creatures, what kind of idea would They have of us and our ways? They’d be constantly spying on us, for sure, and taking scientific notes, just like we do on insects. I used to believe in Them and was really scared when I was younger because I thought all the accidents and bad things that happened might be due to Their experiments. You see, They’d be curious about why we did certain things; why so many of us flock to one place—like Venice, or any tourist spot—rather than going to another nest of anthills; or why we all cram into one anthill (like a church or theater) at a specific time. So a theater fire would be when They’d poked the anthill with one of their cigars to make the ants scatter. Or a volcano would erupt because They’d jabbed the mountain with a giant pin to see what would happen. Or when we get cut or hurt, it's because They’ve tagged us to distinguish one from another as we scurry around. I really hope They’re not thinking about us right now, or They’ll drop something and wreck the car."
"Oh, don't, Beechy! You make my blood run cold!" cried Aunt Kathryn. "Do let's talk of something else quickly. How gracefully the vines are trained here, draped along those rows of trees in the meadows. It's much prettier than ordinary vineyards. You might imagine fairies playing tag under these arbours."
"Oh, please don’t, Beechy! You give me chills!" Aunt Kathryn exclaimed. "Let’s change the subject quickly. Look how beautifully the vines are arranged here, draped along those rows of trees in the meadows. It's so much prettier than regular vineyards. You can almost picture fairies playing tag under these arbors."
"Or fauns chasing nymphs," said Sir Ralph. "No doubt they [Pg 237] did a few years ago and caught them too."
"Or fauns chasing nymphs," said Sir Ralph. "No doubt they [Pg 237] did a few years ago and caught them too."
"I'm glad they don't now," replied Aunt Kathryn, "or this would be no fit place for ladies to motor."
"I'm glad they don't now," replied Aunt Kathryn, "or this wouldn't be a suitable place for women to drive."
But I wasn't glad, for the whole country was one wide background for a pre-Raphaelite picture, and the mountains to which Aunt Kathryn had applied so insulting a simile were even grander in size and nobler in shape than before. We had seen many old châteaux (though never a surfeit), but the best of all had been reserved for to-day. Far away on our left, as we drove towards Padua, it rose above the little town that crawled to the foot of the castle's hill to beg protection; and it was exactly like a city painted by Mantegna or Carpaccio, Mr. Barrymore said. Up the hill ran the noblest and biggest wall that an Old Master's imagination could have conceived. Many men might walk on it abreast; and at every few yards it bristled with sturdy watch-towers, not ruined, but looking as ready to defy the enemy to-day as they were six hundred years ago. The culmination was the castle itself, so magnificently proportioned, so worthily proud of its place, that it seemed as if the spirit of the Middle Ages were there embodied, gazing down in haughty resignation upon a new world it did not even wish to understand.
But I wasn't happy, because the whole country was a beautiful backdrop for a pre-Raphaelite painting, and the mountains that Aunt Kathryn had used such an insulting comparison for were even more impressive and nobler in shape than before. We had seen many old castles (though never too many), but the best was saved for today. Far off to our left, as we drove towards Padua, it rose above the little town that crept to the base of the castle's hill for safety; and it looked just like a city painted by Mantegna or Carpaccio, Mr. Barrymore said. Up the hill ran the grandest and largest wall that an Old Master could have imagined. Many people could walk side by side on it; and every few yards, it was topped with sturdy watchtowers, intact and looking just as ready to challenge an enemy today as they were six hundred years ago. The highlight was the castle itself, so beautifully balanced and justifiably proud of its position, that it seemed like the spirit of the Middle Ages was there in person, looking down in proud resignation at a new world it didn’t even care to understand.
The name of the castle was Soave; but when I heard that nothing startling enough to please me had happened there, I wouldn't know its history, for my fancy was equal to inventing one more thrilling. There was plentiful sensation, though, in the stories the Chauffeulier could tell of Napoleon's battles and adventures in this neighbourhood. I listened to them eagerly, especially to that which covered his falling into a marsh while fighting the Austrians, and standing there, unable to get out, while the battle of Arcole raged around him. We were at the point of the rescue and the victory of the French, when we arrived at another gateway, another octroi, another city, to enter which was like driving straight into an old, old picture
The castle was called Soave; but when I found out that nothing exciting enough to intrigue me had happened there, I didn’t want to know its history, because I could easily come up with something more thrilling. However, there was plenty of excitement in the stories the Chauffeulier could share about Napoleon's battles and adventures in this area. I listened to them eagerly, especially the one about him falling into a marsh while fighting the Austrians and being stuck there while the battle of Arcole raged around him. We were just about to hear about the rescue and the French victory when we reached another gateway, another toll booth, and entering that city felt like driving straight into an ancient painting.
In a long street of palaces, all with an elusive family resemblance to one another, we paused for consultation. This was Vicenza, the [Pg 238] birthplace and beloved town of Palladio; these palaces with fronts crusted with bas relief; these Corinthian pillars, these Arabesque balconies, these porticoes that might have been stolen from Greek temples, all had been designed by Palladio the Great. And the beautiful buildings seemed to say pensively, like lovely court ladies whose day is past, "We are not what we were. Time has changed and broken us, it is true; but even so we are worth seeing."
On a long street lined with palaces, all sharing a vague resemblance to each other, we took a moment to talk it over. This was Vicenza, the birthplace and cherished city of Palladio; these palaces adorned with intricate bas relief; these Corinthian columns, these ornate balconies, these porticoes that could have been borrowed from Greek temples, were all designed by the great Palladio. And the stunning buildings seemed to reflect wistfully, like beautiful ladies of the court whose glory days have passed, "We're not what we used to be. Time has changed and worn us down, it's true; but even so, we're worth a look."
It was that view which our Chauffeulier urged, but Aunt Kathryn was for going on without a stop, until Sir Ralph said, "It's not patriotic of you to pass by. Palladio built your Capitol at Washington, and all the fine old colonial houses you admire so much in the East."
It was that view which our driver insisted on, but Aunt Kathryn wanted to keep going without a break, until Sir Ralph said, "It's unpatriotic of you to just pass by. Palladio designed your Capitol in Washington, along with all those beautiful old colonial houses you love so much in the East."
"Dear me, did he?" exclaimed Aunt Kathryn. "Why, I never heard of him."
"Really? Did he?" Aunt Kathryn exclaimed. "I’ve never heard of him."
"Moray doesn't mean his words to be taken undiluted," said Mr. Barrymore. "If it hadn't been for Palladio, there would have been no Inigo Jones and no Christopher Wren, therefore if you'd had a Capitol at all, it wouldn't be what it is now. And to understand the colonial architecture of America, you have to go back to Palladio."
"Moray doesn't want his words to be taken at face value," said Mr. Barrymore. "If it weren't for Palladio, there wouldn't be any Inigo Jones or Christopher Wren, so if you had a Capitol at all, it wouldn't be what it is now. To understand America's colonial architecture, you need to go back to Palladio."
"Well, here we are at him," sighed Aunt Kathryn. "But I hope we won't have to get out?"
"Well, here we are at him," sighed Aunt Kathryn. "But I hope we won't have to get out?"
Mr. Barrymore laughed. "The Middle Ages revisited, en automobile! However, I'll do my best as showman in the circumstances."
Mr. Barrymore laughed. "The Middle Ages are back, in a car! Still, I'll do my best as the host in this situation."
So he drove us into a splendid square, where Palladio was at his grandest with characteristic façades, galleries, and stately colonnades. Then, slowly, through the street of palaces and out into the open country once more—a rich country of grain-fields (looking always as if an unseen hand softly stroked their silver hair) and of hills swelling into a mountainous horizon. There was a bright little flower-bordered canal too, and I've grown fond of canals since the neighbourhood of Milan, finding them as companionable as rivers, if more tame. Indeed, they seem like rivers that have gone to live in town, where they've learned to be a bit [Pg 239] stilted and mechanical in manner.
So he drove us into a beautiful square, where Palladio was at his most impressive with his signature façades, galleries, and elegant colonnades. Then, slowly, we passed through the street of palaces and back out into the countryside again—a rich landscape of grain fields (always looking like an unseen hand gently stroked their silver tops) and hills rising into a mountainous horizon. There was also a charming little flower-lined canal, and I've come to appreciate canals since my time near Milan, finding them as friendly as rivers, though more subdued. They really feel like rivers that have moved to the city, where they’ve learned to be a bit [Pg 239] stilted and mechanical in their ways.
The farmhouses, standing but a short distance back from the level of the road, were manorial in a queer way; two or three of them, exquisite old things, their great roofed balconies covered with ivy and blossoming creepers. The women we met were pretty, too—so pretty often that, as Sir Ralph said, it wouldn't have been safe for them to walk out in the feudal ages, as they would promptly have been kidnapped by the nearest seignior. We might have guessed that we were not far out from Venice by the gorgeous Titian hair of the peasant children playing by the wayside, or a copper coil twisted above a girl's dark eyes.
The farmhouses, just a short distance from the road, had a strangely grand feel; a couple of them were beautiful old buildings, their large balconies draped in ivy and colorful flowers. The women we encountered were also pretty—so pretty, in fact, that as Sir Ralph pointed out, it wouldn't have been safe for them to walk around during feudal times, as they would have quickly been kidnapped by the nearest nobleman. We could have guessed we were close to Venice from the stunning Titian-like hair of the peasant children playing by the roadside or the copper coil twisted above a girl's dark eyes.
"How long a time shall we spend in Padua, Countess?" asked the Chauffeulier as we came within sight of a gateway, some domes and campanili.
"How long are we going to be in Padua, Countess?" asked the driver as we got close to a gateway, some domes, and bell towers.
"Oh, don't let's make up our mind till we get there," replied Aunt Kathryn comfortably.
"Oh, let's not decide until we get there," Aunt Kathryn replied easily.
"But we are there," said he. "In another minute the little men of the dazio will be tapping our bags as a doctor taps his patient's lungs."
"But we are there," he said. "In another minute, the little guys from the dazio will be checking our bags just like a doctor checks a patient's lungs."
Padua! Each time that we actually arrived in one of these wonderful old places, it was an electric shock for me. I had to shake myself, mentally, to make it seem true. But if it was like a dream to enter the place of Petruchio's love story, what would it be by-and-by—oh, a very quick-coming by-and-by—to see Venice? I hardly dared let my thoughts go on to that moment for fear they should get lost in it, and refuse to come back. Sufficient for the day was the Padua thereof.
Padua! Every time we arrived in one of these amazing old places, it felt like an electric shock to me. I had to mentally shake myself to believe it was real. But if entering the setting of Petruchio's love story felt like a dream, what would it be like—oh, it’s coming soon—to see Venice? I barely dared to let my thoughts drift to that moment for fear they'd get lost and wouldn't return. For today, Padua was enough.
Not so beautiful as Verona, still the learned and dignified old city had a curiously individual charm of its own, which I felt instantly. I loved the painted palaces, especially those where most of the paint had worn off, leaving but a lovely face, or some folds of a velvet robe, or a cardinal's hat to hint its story to the imagination. The old arcaded streets were asleep, and grass sprouted among the cobbles. Where they followed the river we had [Pg 240] glimpses of gardens and arbours backed with roses, or an almond tree—like a rosy bride leaning on a soldier-lover's neck—peeped at us, side by side with a dark ilex, over a high brick wall.
Not as beautiful as Verona, but the wise and dignified old city had a uniquely individual charm that I felt right away. I loved the painted palaces, especially those where most of the paint had faded away, leaving behind just a lovely face, or some folds of a velvet robe, or a cardinal's hat to hint at its story to the imagination. The old arcade streets were quiet, and grass was growing between the cobbles. Where they ran along the river, we had [Pg 240] glimpses of gardens and arbors filled with roses, or an almond tree—like a rosy bride leaning on her soldier-lover's neck—peeked at us, alongside a dark oak, over a high brick wall.
"How long ought we to stay in Padua?" Aunt Kathryn deigned to ask, as if in delayed answer to the Chauffeulier's question, when he helped her out of the car at the Stella d'Oro, where we were to lunch.
"How long should we stay in Padua?" Aunt Kathryn asked, seemingly responding late to the Chauffeur's question, as he helped her out of the car at the Stella d'Oro, where we were going for lunch.
"A week," said Mr. Barrymore, his eyes twinkling.
"A week," said Mr. Barrymore, his eyes sparkling.
Her face fell, and he took pity.
Her face dropped, and he felt sorry for her.
"If we weren't motor maniacs," he went on. "In that case we would have come here on a solemn pilgrimage to do full justice to the adorable Giotto, to the two best churches—not to be surpassed anywhere—and the dozen and one other things worth seeing. But as we are mad we shall be able to 'do' Padua, and satisfy our consciences though not our hearts, in three hours. My one consolation in this deplorable course, lies in the thought that it will make it possible to give you your first sight of Venice between sunset and moonrise."
"If we weren't obsessed with cars," he continued, "then we would have come here on a meaningful pilgrimage to truly appreciate the amazing Giotto, the two best churches—unmatched anywhere—and the countless other sights worth seeing. But since we're so into it, we'll be able to 'get through' Padua and satisfy our consciences, even if not our hearts, in just three hours. My only comfort in this unfortunate decision is that it will give you your first view of Venice between sunset and moonrise."
Beechy clapped her hands, and my heart gave a throb. Somehow, my eyes happened to meet Mr. Barrymore's. But I must not get into the habit of letting them do that, when I'm feeling anything deeply. I can't think why it seems so natural to turn to him, as if I'd known him always; but then we have all got to be great friends on this trip, and know each other better than if we'd been meeting in an ordinary way for a year. All except the Prince. I leave him out of that statement, as I would leave him out of everything concerning me nearly, if I could. I believe that none of us know him, or what is in his mind. But sometimes there's a look in his eyes if one glances up suddenly, which would almost frighten one, if it were not silly and melodramatic. That is the only way in which he has troubled me since the horrid little incident at Juliet's tomb—with these occasional, strange looks; and as he wrote me a note of apology for his bad conduct then, I ought to forgive and forget.
Beechy clapped her hands, and my heart skipped a beat. Somehow, my eyes met Mr. Barrymore's. But I shouldn't get into the habit of letting that happen when I'm feeling something deeply. I can't figure out why it feels so natural to look at him, as if I've known him forever; but we all have to become great friends on this trip and get to know each other better than if we'd been meeting in a regular way for a year. All except the Prince. I leave him out of that statement, just like I would leave him out of almost everything about me, if I could. I believe that none of us really know him or what he's thinking. But sometimes there's a look in his eyes if you happen to glance up suddenly that could almost be frightening, if it weren't so silly and melodramatic. That's the only way he's bothered me since that awful little incident at Juliet's tomb—with these occasional, strange looks; and since he wrote me a note apologizing for his bad behavior then, I should forgive and forget.
The hotel where we lunched was not in a quaint riverside [Pg 241] street, but in a square so modern it was hard to realize for the moment that we were in the oldest city of Northern Italy, dating from before Roman days. However, the Stella d'Oro was old enough to satisfy us, and I should have been delighted with the nice Italian dishes Mr. Barrymore knew so well how to order, if I hadn't been longing to rush off with a bit of bread in my hand, not to waste a Paduan moment on so dull a deed as eating.
The hotel where we had lunch wasn't in a charming riverside street, but in a square so modern that it was hard to remember we were in the oldest city of Northern Italy, which dates back to before Roman times. However, the Stella d'Oro was old enough to make us happy, and I would have loved the delicious Italian dishes Mr. Barrymore expertly ordered, if I hadn't been wanting to grab a piece of bread and rush off, not wanting to waste a moment in Padua on something as boring as eating.
It was only twelve when we arrived, and before one we were out of the huge, cool dining-room, and in the May sunlight again. The Prince was with us; had been just ahead of us, or just behind us, all through the journey from Verona. But I thought by keeping close to Aunt Kathryn and Beechy there would be no danger that he would trouble me. Unfortunately, the pattern of our progress arranged itself a little differently from my plan.
It was only twelve when we got there, and by one we were out of the big, cool dining room and back in the May sunlight. The Prince was with us; he had been either just ahead or just behind us the whole trip from Verona. But I figured that if I stayed close to Aunt Kathryn and Beechy, I wouldn't have to worry about him bothering me. Unfortunately, things didn’t go according to my plan.
All was simple enough in the churches, which we visited first, not to give them time to close up for their afternoon siesta. Mr. Barrymore was of the party, and we all listened to him—the Prince because he must, we others because we wished—while he ransacked his memory for bits of Paduan history, legend or romance. He showed us the Giottos (which he had done well to call adorable) at the Madonna of the Arena; he took us to pay our respects to St. Anthony of Padua (that dear, obliging Saint who gives himself so much trouble over the lost property of perfect strangers) in his extraordinary and well-deserved Basilica of bubbly domes and lovely cloisters. He guided us to Santa Giustina, where I would stop at the top of the steps, to pet two glorious old red marble beasts which had crouched there for four centuries. One of them—the redder of the two—had been all that time wrestling with an infinitesimal St. George whom he ought to have polished off in a few hours; while the other—the one with an unspeakable beard under his chin and teeth like the gearing of our automobile—had been engaged for the same period in eating a poor little curly lion.
Everything was straightforward enough in the churches we visited first, so we didn’t give them a chance to close for their afternoon break. Mr. Barrymore was part of the group, and we all listened to him—the Prince because he had to, and the rest of us because we wanted to—as he rummaged through his memory for bits of Paduan history, legend, or romance. He pointed out the Giottos (which he rightly called adorable) at the Madonna of the Arena; he took us to pay our respects to St. Anthony of Padua (that dear, helpful saint who goes to great lengths to assist strangers with their lost belongings) in his extraordinary and well-deserved Basilica of bubbly domes and beautiful cloisters. He led us to Santa Giustina, where I paused at the top of the steps to admire two magnificent old red marble creatures that had been there for four centuries. One of them—the redder of the two—had spent all that time grappling with a tiny St. George whom he probably should have defeated in just a few hours; while the other, sporting an unspeakable beard and teeth resembling our car's gears, had been busy for the same time munching on a poor little curly lion.
The inside of the church—too strongly recommended by Baedeker to commend itself to me—made me feel as if I had eaten a [Pg 242] lemon water-ice before dinner, on a freezing cold day; and it was there that the Chauffeulier departed to get ready the motor-car. There it was, too, that the pattern disarranged itself.
The inside of the church—highly praised by Baedeker, so it didn’t appeal to me—felt like I had eaten a [Pg 242] lemon sorbet before dinner on a freezing cold day; and it was where the driver left to prepare the car. It was also the place where everything started to go wrong.
When we had finished looking at a splendid Paolo Veronese, we hurried out into the Prato della Valle (which has changed its name to something else not half so pretty, though more patriotic), and Sir Ralph took Beechy away, so that Aunt Kathryn and I were left to the Prince. He hardly talked to her at all, which hurt her feelings so much that she turned suddenly round, and said she must speak to Beechy.
When we finished admiring a beautiful painting by Paolo Veronese, we rushed out into the Prato della Valle (which has now been renamed something less pretty, though more patriotic). Sir Ralph took Beechy away, leaving Aunt Kathryn and me with the Prince. He barely spoke to her, which upset her so much that she suddenly turned around and said she needed to talk to Beechy.
I could have cried, for the piazza was so beautiful that I wanted some one congenial with me, to whom I could exclaim about it. It was girdled by a belt of clear water, with four stone bridges and a double wall on which stood a goodly company of noble gentlemen. There was the history of Padua's greatness perpetuated in marble—charming personages, one and all, if you could believe their statues, and it would have seemed treacherous not to. Each stood to be admired or revered in the attitude most expressive of his profession: Galileo pointing up, graceful, spiritual, enthusiastic; a famous bishop blessing his flock; some great poet dreaming over a book—his own, perhaps, just finished; and so on, all along the happy circle of writers, priests, scientists, soldiers, artists. I felt as if I wanted to know them—those faithful friends of all who love greatness, resting now in each others' excellent society, their sole reflection those in the watery mirror.
I could have cried because the piazza was so beautiful that I just wanted someone who shared my feelings to whom I could express my awe. It was surrounded by a ring of clear water, featuring four stone bridges and a double wall where a group of noble gentlemen stood. The history of Padua's greatness was captured in marble—charming figures, if you believed their statues, which it felt wrong not to. Each was posed to be admired or respected in a way that best expressed his profession: Galileo pointing up, graceful, spiritual, enthusiastic; a famous bishop blessing his followers; some great poet lost in thought over a book—maybe his own, just completed; and so forth, along the joyful circle of writers, priests, scientists, soldiers, artists. I felt a strong desire to know them—those loyal friends of all who appreciate greatness, now resting in each other’s excellent company, their only reflection seen in the watery mirror.
But Prince Dalmar-Kalm thought himself of importance even in this king's garden. "Did you get my letter?" he asked. "And do you forgive me?" he said. "And will you trust me, and not be unkind, now that I've promised to think of you only as a friend?" he persisted.
But Prince Dalmar-Kalm considered himself important even in this king's garden. "Did you get my letter?" he asked. "Do you forgive me?" he said. "Will you trust me and not be unkind, now that I've promised to think of you only as a friend?" he urged.
I didn't see why he should look upon me even as a friend; but a cat may look at a king, if it doesn't fly up and scratch; so why not a prince at an American girl? To save argument and not to be unchristian, I pledged myself to some kind of superficial compact almost before I knew. When it was done, it would have [Pg 243] been too complicated to undo again; and so I let it go.
I didn't understand why he should see me as anything more than a friend; but a cat can look at a king, as long as it doesn't jump up and scratch; so why couldn't a prince look at an American girl? To avoid an argument and not to be unkind, I agreed to some kind of shallow agreement almost before I realized it. Once it was done, it would have been too complicated to untangle; so I just let it be.
XX
A CHAPTER IN FAIRYLAND
"Nobody can ever quite know Venice who goes by rail from Padua," said the Chauffeulier to me, when we had started in the car. "The sixteen miles of road between the two places is a link in Venetian history, and you'll understand what I mean without any explanation as you pass along."
"Nobody can ever really know Venice by taking the train from Padua," the driver told me as we got in the car. "The sixteen miles of road connecting the two places is a part of Venice's history, and you'll understand what I mean without any need for explanation as we drive along."
This made me post my wits at the windows of my eyes, and tell them not to dare sleep for an instant, lest I should disappoint expectations. But, after all, the meaning I had to understand was not subtle, though it was interesting.
This made me keep my eyes wide open and remind them not to dare sleep for a second, or I would let down expectations. But, really, the meaning I needed to grasp wasn’t complicated, even though it was intriguing.
The way was practically one long street of time-worn palaces and handsome villas which had once been the summer retreats of the rich Venetians; and I guessed it without being told. I guessed, too, that the owners came no more or seldom; that they were not so rich as they had been, or that, because of railways and automobiles, it was easier and more amusing to go further afield. But what I didn't know without telling was that the proprietors had been accustomed, in the good old leisurely days, to step into their gondolas in front of their own palaces in Venice and come up the Brenta to their summer homes without setting foot to ground.
The path was basically just one long street lined with old palaces and beautiful villas that used to be summer getaways for wealthy Venetians; and I figured that out without needing to be told. I also sensed that the owners either didn't come here anymore or only did so rarely; that they weren't as rich as they once were, or that, thanks to trains and cars, it was easier and more fun to travel farther away. But what I couldn't figure out without being told was that back in the good old days, they used to hop into their gondolas right outside their palaces in Venice and glide up the Brenta to their summer homes without ever stepping onto land.
If I hadn't been told, too, that the Brenta was a river big in Venetian history if not in size, I should have taken it for one of my favourite canals, with its slow traffic of lazy barges, and its hundred canals crossing it with long green arms that stretched [Pg 244] north and south to the horizon. But at Stra I must have respected it in any case; and it was near Stra, also, that we passed the most important palace of any on that strange, flat road. The very garden wall told that here was a house which must have loomed large in historic eyes, and through magnificent gateways we caught flashing glimpses of a noble building in a neglected park.
If I hadn't been told that the Brenta was a river significant in Venetian history, even if not very large, I might have mistaken it for one of my favorite canals, with its slow-moving barges and the many canals branching off it with long green arms reaching north and south to the horizon. But near Stra, I would have respected it anyway; and it was near Stra that we passed the most important palace along that strange, flat road. The very garden wall indicated that this was a house that must have held a significant place in history, and through grand gateways, we caught glimpses of a magnificent building set in a neglected park.
"It belonged to the Pisani, a famous family of Venice," said the Chauffeulier as we sailed by. "But Napoleon took it—as he took so many other good things in this part of the world—and gave it to his stepson Eugène Beauharnais."
"It belonged to the Pisani, a well-known family from Venice," the Chauffeulier said as we sailed past. "But Napoleon took it—like he took so many other valuable things around here—and gave it to his stepson Eugène Beauharnais."
"I've never thought about Napoleon in connection with Venice, somehow," I said.
"I've never really thought about Napoleon in relation to Venice, for some reason," I said.
"But you will, when your gondola takes you under the huge palace where he lived," he answered.
"But you will, when your gondola takes you under the massive palace where he lived," he replied.
"Talking of gondolas, I forgot to tell you what a nice plan the Prince has for us," said Aunt Kathryn, with the air of breaking news. "As soon as I mentioned at what time you had arranged to leave Padua, he said he would telegraph to some dear friends of his at Venice, the Conte and Contessa Corramini, to send their beautiful gondola to meet us at Mestre (wherever that is) so that we needn't go into Venice by train across the bridge. Isn't that lovely of him?"
"Speaking of gondolas, I forgot to mention the great plan the Prince has for us," said Aunt Kathryn, with the excitement of sharing big news. "As soon as I told him when you planned to leave Padua, he said he would send a telegram to some close friends of his in Venice, the Count and Countess Corramini, to have their beautiful gondola meet us at Mestre (wherever that is) so we won't have to take the train into Venice across the bridge. Isn’t that nice of him?"
No one would have answered if it hadn't been for Mr. Barrymore. He said that it was a very good plan indeed, and would be pleasanter for us than the one he had made, which he'd meant for a surprise. He had telegraphed from Padua to the Hotel Britannia, where we would stay, ordering gondolas to the tram-way station in Mestre to save our sneaking into Venice by the back-door. Now those gondolas would do very well for our luggage, while the party of five made the journey more luxuriously.
No one would have responded if it hadn't been for Mr. Barrymore. He mentioned that it was a really good plan and would be more enjoyable for us than the one he had arranged, which he intended as a surprise. He had sent a telegram from Padua to the Hotel Britannia, where we were going to stay, ordering gondolas to the tram station in Mestre to avoid sneaking into Venice through the back way. Now those gondolas would be perfect for our luggage, while the group of five traveled more comfortably.
"Party of six, you mean, unless the Prince has had an accident," amended Beechy.
"Party of six, unless the Prince has had an accident," corrected Beechy.
"No; for I shan't be with you. I must drive the car to the garage at Mestre, and see that she's all right. Moray'll be with you [Pg 245] to arrange everything at the Britannia, which you'll find one of the nicest places in the world, and I'll come when I can. Now, here's the turning for Mestre, and you must look for something interesting on the sky-line to the right, before long."
"No; I won’t be with you. I have to take the car to the garage in Mestre and make sure everything's okay. Moray will be with you [Pg 245] to sort everything out at the Britannia, which you’ll find is one of the nicest places in the world, and I’ll come as soon as I can. Now, here’s the turn for Mestre, and you should look for something interesting on the skyline to the right soon."
I couldn't help being disappointed, because I'd wanted the Chauffeulier to be with us when I saw Venice first; but I couldn't say that; and I'm afraid he thought, as everybody was silent, that nobody cared.
I couldn't help but feel let down because I wanted the Chauffeulier to be with us when I first saw Venice; but I couldn't express that, and I'm worried he thought, since everyone was quiet, that nobody cared.
There was nothing to show the turning to Mestre, except a small tablet that we might easily have missed; and the road was laughably narrow, running along a causeway with a deep ditch on either hand. Aunt Kathryn was so afraid that a horse would come round one of the sharp bends walking on its hind legs, that she was miserable, but I trusted Mr. Barrymore and enjoyed the country—real country now, with no more palaces, villas, or beautiful arcaded farmhouses.
There was nothing to indicate the turn to Mestre, except for a small sign that we could have easily overlooked; and the road was comically narrow, skirting along a causeway with a deep ditch on either side. Aunt Kathryn was so worried that a horse would appear around one of the sharp turns walking on its hind legs that she was really unhappy, but I trusted Mr. Barrymore and enjoyed the scenery—real countryside now, with no more palaces, villas, or beautiful covered farmhouses.
The distance was hidden by long, waving grasses, over which the blue line of the Corinthian Alps seemed to hover like a cloud. There was a pungent smell of salt and of seaweed in the air, that meant the nearness of the lagoon—and Venice. Then, suddenly, the "something" Mr. Barrymore had told us to look for, grew out of the horizon—dim and mysterious, yet not to be mistaken; hyacinth-blue streaks that were pinnacles and campanili, bubbles that were domes, floating between the gold of the sunset and the grey-green of the tall grass, for no water was visible yet.
The distance was concealed by tall, swaying grasses, over which the blue outline of the Corinthian Alps seemed to float like a cloud. There was a strong scent of salt and seaweed in the air, signaling the proximity of the lagoon—and Venice. Then, suddenly, the "something" Mr. Barrymore had told us to watch for emerged from the horizon—dim and mysterious, yet unmistakable; streaks of hyacinth blue that were peaks and bell towers, bubbles that were domes, hovering between the gold of the sunset and the grey-green of the tall grass, as no water was visible yet.
"Venice!" I whispered; but though Beechy and Aunt Kathryn each cried: "Oh, there it is! I saw it first!" they were so absorbed in a discussion as to what the Prince's friends ought to be called, and they soon lost interest in the vision.
"Venice!" I whispered; but even though Beechy and Aunt Kathryn each exclaimed, "Oh, there it is! I saw it first!" they were so caught up in a debate about what the Prince's friends should be named that they quickly lost interest in the sight.
"Conte! It's like Condy's Fluid!" said Beechy. "I won't call him 'Conte.' I should laugh in his face. If plain Count isn't good enough for him, and Countess for her, I shall just say 'You'—so there!"
"Conte! It’s just like Condy’s Fluid!" Beechy said. "I’m not calling him 'Conte.' I’d be tempted to laugh right at him. If plain Count isn’t good enough for him, and Countess isn’t for her, then I’ll just say 'You'—so there!"
Soon we saw a great star-shaped fortress as we ran into a town, which was Mestre; and at the same time we lost shadow-Venice. [Pg 246] Passing a charming villa set back behind an avenue of cypresses and plane trees that gave an effect of dappling moonlight even in full day, some one in the tall gateway waved his hand.
Soon we spotted a large star-shaped fortress as we entered a town, which was Mestre; and at the same time, we lost sight of shadow-Venice. [Pg 246] Passing a lovely villa set back behind a row of cypress and plane trees that created a dappled moonlight effect even during the day, someone in the tall gateway waved their hand.
"By Jove, it's Leo Bari, the artist!" exclaimed Sir Ralph. "I forgot his people lived here. I know him well; he comes to the Riviera to paint. Do slow down, Terry."
"Wow, it's Leo Bari, the artist!" Sir Ralph exclaimed. "I forgot his family lived here. I know him well; he comes to the Riviera to paint. Please slow down, Terry."
So "Terry" slowed down, and a handsome, slim young man ran up, greeting Sir Ralph gaily in English. He was introduced to us, and his sister, a lovely Italian girl with Titian hair, was invited to leave the becoming background of the gateway to make our acquaintance.
So "Terry" slowed down, and a handsome, slim young man ran up, greeting Sir Ralph cheerfully in English. He was introduced to us, and his sister, a beautiful Italian girl with Titian hair, was invited to step out from the attractive background of the gateway to meet us.
They were interested in the details of our tour, especially when they heard that, after a week in Venice, we were going into Dalmatia.
They were curious about the details of our trip, especially when they heard that, after a week in Venice, we were heading to Dalmatia.
"Why, I'm going down to Ragusa to paint," said he. "I've been before, but this time I take my sister Beatrice. She paints too. We go by the Austrian Lloyd to-morrow. Perhaps we see you there?"
"Why, I'm heading down to Ragusa to paint," he said. "I've been before, but this time I'm bringing my sister Beatrice. She paints too. We're taking the Austrian Lloyd tomorrow. Maybe we'll see you there?"
"Have you ever been down as far as Cattaro?" asked Aunt Kathryn, from whose tongue the names of Dalmatian towns fall trippingly, since she "acquired" a castle and a title there.
"Have you ever been as far down as Cattaro?" asked Aunt Kathryn, who effortlessly names Dalmatian towns since she "acquired" a castle and a title there.
"Oh, yes, and to Montenegro," replied the artist.
"Oh, yes, and to Montenegro," replied the artist.
"And do you remember the houses of the neighbourhood?" went on Aunt Kathryn.
"And do you remember the houses in the neighborhood?" Aunt Kathryn continued.
"It is already but two years I was there, so a house would have to be young for me not to remember," replied the young man, unconscious of the funny little twist of his English.
"It’s only been two years since I was there, so a house would have to be pretty new for me not to remember," replied the young man, unaware of the amusing little quirk in his English.
"I am thinking of a very old house; Slosh—er—the Castle of Hrvoya. Have you seen it?"
"I’m thinking of a really old house; Slosh—er—the Castle of Hrvoya. Have you seen it?"
"Ah, that old ruin!" exclaimed the artist. "I seen it, yes. But there is not more much Schloss Hrvoya to see, only the rock for it to stand."
"Ah, that old ruin!" said the artist. "I've seen it, yes. But there's not much Schloss Hrvoya left to see, just the rock it used to stand on."
Poor Aunt Kathryn! I was sorry for her. But she bore the blow well, and, after all, it's the title, not the castle for which she cares [Pg 247] most—that, and the right to smear everything with crowns.
Poor Aunt Kathryn! I felt bad for her. But she took the news well, and, after all, it's the title, not the castle, that she cares about the most—that, and the right to decorate everything with crowns. [Pg 247]
"Perhaps I'll ask you to paint Hrvoya for me some day," she said. But afterwards, when we had bidden the handsome brother and sister au revoir, she remarked that she was afraid Mr. Bari hadn't an artistic eye.
"Maybe I'll ask you to paint Hrvoya for me someday," she said. But later, after we said goodbye to the attractive brother and sister au revoir, she mentioned that she was worried Mr. Bari didn't have an artistic eye.
The good-byes said, we swept through the picturesque town to make up for lost time, and presently encountered a little electric tram running seaward on a causeway. We followed over a grass-grown road, and suddenly found Venice again, so near that we could actually distinguish one building from another. Beyond a broad stretch of water the dream city floated on the sea.
The goodbyes said, we rushed through the charming town to make up for lost time, and soon came across a small electric tram headed towards the sea on a causeway. We followed along a grassy road and suddenly found ourselves back in Venice, close enough to see individual buildings. Beyond a wide stretch of water, the dream city hovered on the sea.
"Look; I did this for you, so that you would go into Venice in a way worthy of yourself," the Prince murmured in my ear, when the car had stopped, joining his which was waiting. He waved his hand towards a wonderful gondola, with a gesture such as Aladdin's Genie might have used to indicate the magic palace. The glossy black coat of the swan-like thing brought out the full value of the rich gold ornaments. A long piece of drapery trailed into the water behind, and two gondoliers, like bronze statues dressed in dark blue, crimson, and white, stood up tall and erect against a background of golden sea and sky.
"Look, I did this for you so you could enter Venice in a way that’s worthy of you," the Prince whispered in my ear when the car stopped, joining his that was waiting. He gestured toward a magnificent gondola, like how Aladdin's Genie might have pointed out a magical palace. The sleek black finish of the swan-like boat highlighted the rich gold decorations perfectly. A long piece of fabric trailed into the water behind it, and two gondoliers, resembling bronze statues dressed in dark blue, crimson, and white, stood tall against a backdrop of golden sea and sky.
They helped us in, hat in hand; and not the Chauffeulier's absence nor the Prince's presence could spoil for me the experience that followed.
They helped us in, caps in hand; and not the driver's absence nor the Prince's presence could ruin the experience that followed for me.
Sunk deep in springy cushions, I half sat, half lay, while the bronze statues swayed against the gold, softly plying their long oars, and wafting me—me—to Venice.
Sunk deep in springy cushions, I half sat, half lay, while the bronze statues swayed against the gold, gently rowing their long oars and carrying me—me—to Venice.
I felt as if I were moving from the wings of a vast theatre onto the stage to play a heroine's part. Evening bells, chanting a paen to the sunset, floated across the wide water faint as spirit-chimes, and they were the leitmotif for my entrance.
I felt like I was stepping from the wings of a huge theater onto the stage to play a heroine's role. Evening bells, singing a song to the sunset, drifted across the wide water, soft like ghostly chimes, and they were the leitmotif for my entrance.
"What a shame to be in motoring things!" I said to Beechy. "Women should have special gondola dresses; I see that already—a different one each day. I should like to have a deep crimson gown and a pale green one—lilac too, perhaps, and sunrise-pink, [Pg 248] all made picturesquely, not in any stiff modern way."
"What a shame to be dealing with cars!" I said to Beechy. "Women should have special dresses for gondola rides; I can already see it—a different one for every day. I would love a deep crimson gown and a pale green one—maybe lilac too, and sunrise-pink, all designed beautifully, not in some stiff modern style." [Pg 248]
"The costume of your Sisterhood would be pretty in a gondola," Beechy answered. And again that coldness fell upon me which I always feel at a reminder, intentional or unintentional, of the future. But the chill was gone in a moment—lost in the luminous air, which had a strange brilliancy, as if reflected from a stupendous mirror. I had never seen anything even remotely resembling it before. It was as though we were living inside a great opal, like flies in amber. And it seemed that in a world so wonderful everything one did, or looked, or thought, ought to be wonderful too, lest it should be out of tune with all surrounding beauty.
"The outfit of your Sisterhood would look great in a gondola," Beechy replied. And once again, I felt that familiar coldness wash over me that I always experience at a reminder—whether intentional or not—of the future. But the chill faded quickly—lost in the bright air, which had a strange brilliance, as if it were reflecting off a massive mirror. I had never seen anything even slightly like it before. It felt like we were living inside a huge opal, like insects trapped in amber. And it seemed that in such a stunning world, everything one did, saw, or thought should be amazing too, or else it would clash with all the surrounding beauty.
Sea and sky were of one colour, except that the sea appeared to be on fire underneath its glassy surface. The violet sky was strewn with blown rose-petals and golden feathers; the tiny waves were of violet ruffled with rose and gold, and spattered with jewelled sparks which might be flashes from a Doge's vanished ring.
Sea and sky merged into one color, except the sea looked like it was on fire beneath its smooth surface. The purple sky was scattered with blown rose petals and golden feathers; the small waves were a mix of purple, tinged with rose and gold, and sprinkled with sparkling jewels that could have been glimmers from a lost ring of a Doge.
In the distance, sails of big ships were beaten into gold leaf by the sinking sun; and nearer, there were other sails bright as flowers—a sea picture-gallery of Madonnas, of arrow-wounded hearts, of martyred saints, or bright-robed earthly ladies.
In the distance, the sails of large ships glowed like gold leaf in the setting sun; and closer, there were other sails vibrant like flowers—a seaside display of Madonnas, of hearts pierced by arrows, of martyred saints, or brightly dressed earthly women.
We were rowing straight into the sunset, straight into fairy-land, and I knew it; but—what would happen when the rose-and-golden glory had swallowed us up?
We were rowing directly into the sunset, right into a magical place, and I realized it; but—what would happen when the rose-and-gold brilliance engulfed us?
The sparkle of the water and air got into my blood, and I felt that it must be sparkling too, like champagne. I was more alive than I had ever been when I was on earth; for of course this was not earth—this Venice to which I was going.
The sparkle of the water and air filled me with energy, and I felt like they must be sparkling too, like champagne. I was more alive than I had ever felt on earth; because of course, this wasn’t earth—this was Venice, where I was headed.
No other road but this water-road could have consoled me for the thought that there would be no more motoring for a week. And clearly it was a road of which it was necessary for the gondoliers to know every oar-length; for it was defined by stakes, standing up out of the lagoon singly, or gathered into clusters like giant bunches of asparagus.
No other route but this waterway could have comforted me for the idea that there would be no driving for a week. And it was obvious that the gondoliers needed to know every inch of it; it was marked by stakes, standing alone in the lagoon or grouped together like huge bunches of asparagus.
[Pg 249] Turning my back to the arched railway bridge, which accompanied us too far, I looked only at sky and water, and at Venice rising from the sea.
[Pg 249] As I turned away from the arched railway bridge that had followed us for too long, I focused solely on the sky and water, and on Venice emerging from the sea.
The tide was running out, the Prince said (among other chatterings, while I wished everybody woven in a magic spell of silence) and the gondola made swift progress, rocking lightly like a shell, over the bright ripples of the lagoon.
The tide was going out, the Prince said (among other chatter, while I wished everyone was under a spell of silence) and the gondola moved quickly, swaying gently like a shell, over the shimmering ripples of the lagoon.
The nearer we drew to Venice the more like a vision of enchantment did the city seem. Not a sound came to us, for the music of the bells had died. All was still as in a dream—for in dreams, does one ever hear a sound? I think I never have. And now the gold had faded from the clouds, leaving them pink and violet, transparent as gauze, through which the rising moon sifted silver dust. How could the others talk? I did not understand.
The closer we got to Venice, the more the city seemed like a magical vision. We didn’t hear a sound, as the music of the bells had stopped. Everything was quiet, like in a dream—because in dreams, do you ever hear anything? I don’t think I have. And now the gold had disappeared from the clouds, leaving them pink and violet, transparent like gauze, through which the rising moon filtered silver light. How could the others talk? I just didn’t get it.
Aunt Kathryn was saying, "If I hire a gondolier, I want to get a singer." As if he were a sewing-machine, or a canary-bird! And Beechy was complaining that she felt "very funny;" she believed the motion of the gondola was making her seasick, just as she used to be in her cradle, when she was too young to protest except by a howl.
Aunt Kathryn was saying, "If I hire a gondolier, I want to get a singer." As if he were a sewing machine or a canary! And Beechy was complaining that she felt "really weird;" she thought the motion of the gondola was making her seasick, just like when she was in her crib, too young to protest except by crying.
It was a relief to my feelings when we turned out of the wide lagoon into a canal, for then they did at least speak of the scene around them, asking questions about the tall palaces that walled us in; who lived here; who lived there; what was the name or history of that?
It felt like a relief when we left the wide lagoon and entered the canal, because then they started talking about the scene around us, asking questions about the tall palaces that surrounded us; who lived here; who lived there; what’s the name or history of that?
The odour of seaweed was more pungent, and there was a smell of water mingling with it too; something like fresh cucumbers, and the roots of flowers when they have just been pulled out of the earth. I could not have believed that water could have such clearness and at the same time hold so many colours, as the water in this, my first canal of Venice. It was like a greenish mirror, full of lights, and wavering reflected tints from the crumbling palaces whose old bricks, mellow pink, gold, and purple, showed like veins through the skin of peeling stucco. [Pg 250] Down underneath the shining mirror, one could see the old marble steps, leading up to the shut mystery of water gates. There were shimmering gleams of pearly white and ivory yellow, under beardy trails of moss old as the marble out of which it grew. And over high walls, delicate branches of acacia and tamarisk beckoned us, above low-hung drapery of wistaria, that dropped purple tassels to the lapping water's edge.
The smell of seaweed was stronger, and it mixed with the scent of water; something like fresh cucumbers and flower roots just pulled from the ground. I never thought water could be so clear and yet have so many colors, like the water in this, my first canal in Venice. It looked like a greenish mirror, full of lights and shifting colors reflecting off the crumbling palaces with their old bricks, soft pink, gold, and purple, showing like veins through the peeling stucco. [Pg 250] Beneath the shining surface, you could see the old marble steps leading up to the hidden mystery of water gates. There were shimmering hints of pearly white and ivory yellow beneath the mossy trails as ancient as the marble itself. And over tall walls, delicate branches of acacia and tamarisk invited us, above the low-hanging curtains of wisteria that dropped purple tassels to the edge of the lapping water.
So we wound through one narrow, palace-walled Rio after another, until Venice began to seem like a jewelled net, with its carved precious stones intricately strung on threads of silver; and then suddenly, to my surprise, we burst into a great canal.
So we made our way through one narrow, palace-walled Rio after another, until Venice started to look like a jeweled net, with its carved precious stones intricately threaded on strands of silver; and then suddenly, to my surprise, we emerged into a large canal.
I saw a bridge, which I knew from many pictures must be the Rialto, but there was no disappointment, no flatness in the impression of having seen this all before, for not the greatest genius who ever lived could paint Venice at her every day best. Palace after palace; and by-and-by a church with a front carved in ivory by the growing moonlight, thrown up against a background of rose.
I saw a bridge that I recognized from many pictures as the Rialto, but I wasn’t disappointed or underwhelmed by the feeling of having seen it before, because not even the greatest artist could capture Venice at her everyday best. Palace after palace; and soon enough, a church with a facade sculpted in ivory by the soft glow of the moonlight, set against a backdrop of rose.
"Palladio, it must be!" I cried.
"Palladio, it has to be!" I exclaimed.
"Yes; it's San Georgio Maggiore, Terry Barrymore's favourite church in Venice," said Sir Ralph, who had been almost as silent as I. "And here we are at the Hotel Britannia."
"Yes, that's San Georgio Maggiore, Terry Barrymore's favorite church in Venice," said Sir Ralph, who had been nearly as quiet as I was. "And here we are at the Hotel Britannia."
"Why, it has a garden!" exclaimed Aunt Kathryn. "I never thought of a garden in Venice."
"Wow, it has a garden!" exclaimed Aunt Kathryn. "I never imagined there would be a garden in Venice."
"There are several of the loveliest in Italy," replied Sir Ralph. "But the Britannia's the only hotel that has one."
"There are quite a few beautiful ones in Italy," replied Sir Ralph. "But the Britannia is the only hotel that has one."
"My friend's palazzo has a courtyard garden with a wonderful old marble well-head, and beautiful statues," said the Prince. "He and his wife are coming to call on you to-morrow, and you will have the opportunity of thanking them for their gondola. Also, they will probably invite you to leave the hotel, and visit them during the rest of your stay, as they are very hospitable."
"My friend's palace has a courtyard garden with a beautiful old marble well and stunning statues," said the Prince. "He and his wife are coming to visit you tomorrow, and you'll have the chance to thank them for their gondola. Also, they'll probably invite you to leave the hotel and stay with them for the rest of your trip since they are very welcoming."
"I'll wager you won't want to leave the Britannia, once you are settled there," said Sir Ralph quickly. "It's the most comfortable hotel in Venice, and Terry and I have wired for rooms [Pg 251] with balconies overlooking the Grand Canal, and the garden. There isn't a palace going that I would forsake the Britannia for."
"I bet you won't want to leave the Britannia once you get comfortable there," Sir Ralph said quickly. "It's the coziest hotel in Venice, and Terry and I have booked rooms [Pg 251] with balconies that look out over the Grand Canal and the garden. There's not a palace out there that I would trade the Britannia for."
By this time the gondola had slipped between some tall red posts, and brought us to the steps of the hotel. I was glad that they were marble steps and that the house had once been a palace, otherwise I should not have felt I was making the most of Venice.
By this time, the gondola had glided between some tall red posts and brought us to the steps of the hotel. I was glad they were marble steps and that the building had once been a palace; otherwise, I wouldn’t have felt like I was fully experiencing Venice.
If I live to be a hundred (one of the Sisters is close on eighty) I shall never forget that first night in the City of the Sea
If I live to be a hundred (one of the Sisters is nearly eighty) I will never forget that first night in the City of the Sea.
It was good to see Mr. Barrymore back again for dinner in the big red and gold, brightly frescoed dining-room; and it was he who suggested that we should have coffee in the garden, at a table on a balcony built over the water, and then go out in gondolas.
It was nice to see Mr. Barrymore back for dinner in the large red and gold, brightly painted dining room; he suggested that we have coffee in the garden, at a table on a balcony over the water, and then go out in gondolas.
We hired three; and as there are only two absolutely delightful seats in a gondola, I was trembling lest the Prince should fall to my unlucky lot, when Aunt Kathryn called to him, "Oh, do sit with me, please. I want to ask about your friends who are coming to see us." So of course he went to her, and Sir Ralph jumped in with Beechy; therefore the Chauffeulier was obliged to be nice to me, whether he liked or not. We all kept close together, and soon the three gondolas, following many others, grouped round a lighted music-barge like a pyramid of illuminated fruit floating on the canal.
We hired three people, and since there are only two really great seats in a gondola, I was worried that the Prince would end up sitting with me. But Aunt Kathryn called out to him, “Oh, please sit with me. I want to ask about your friends who are coming to see us.” So he went to her, and Sir Ralph jumped in with Beechy, which meant the Chauffeulier had to be nice to me, whether he wanted to be or not. We all stayed close together, and soon the three gondolas, along with many others, gathered around a lit music barge like a pyramid of glowing fruit floating on the canal.
Either the voices were sweet, or they had the effect of being sweet in the moonlight on the water; but the airs they sang got strangely tangled with the songs in other barges, so that I longed to unwind one skein of tunes from another, and wasn't sorry to steal away into the silence at last
Either the voices were sweet, or they just sounded sweet in the moonlight on the water; but the melodies they sang got strangely mixed up with the songs from other boats, making me wish I could untangle one set of tunes from another, and I was finally glad to slip away into the silence.
We were not the only ones who flitted. The black forms of gondolas moved soundlessly hither and thither on the surface of the dark lagoon, their single lights like stars in the blue darkness.
We weren't the only ones moving around. The dark shapes of gondolas glided quietly back and forth on the surface of the dark lagoon, their single lights resembling stars in the deep blue darkness.
Far away twinkled the lamps of the Lido, where Byron and Shelley used to ride on the lonely sands. Near-by, on the Piazzetta [Pg 252] where the twin columns towered against the silver sky, white bunches of lights glimmered like magic night-blooming flowers, with bright roots trailing deep down into the river.
Far away, the lights of the Lido sparkled, where Byron and Shelley used to ride on the empty beaches. Nearby, on the Piazzetta [Pg 252] where the twin columns rose against the silver sky, clusters of white lights shone like enchanting flowers that bloom at night, with bright roots reaching deep down into the river.
We talked of the countless great ones of the world who had lived and died in Venice, and loved it well; of Byron, who slept in Marino Faliero's dreadful cell before he wrote his tragedy; of Browning, whose funeral had passed in solemn state of gondolas down the Grand Canal; of Wagner, who found inspiration in this sea and sky, and died looking upon them from his window in the Palazzo Vendramin. But through our talk I could hear Aunt Kathryn in her gondola close by, saying how like the Doge's palace was to a big bird-cage she once had; and the Prince was continually turning his head to see if we were near, which was disturbing. We had nothing to say that all the world might not have heard, yet instinctively we spoke almost in whispers, the Chauffeulier and I, not to miss a gurgle of the water nor the dip of an oar, which in the soft darkness made the light flutter of a bird bathing.
We talked about the countless amazing people who had lived and died in Venice and loved it deeply; about Byron, who rested in Marino Faliero's terrible cell before writing his tragedy; about Browning, whose funeral went by in a solemn procession of gondolas down the Grand Canal; and about Wagner, who found inspiration in this sea and sky, and died while looking at them from his window in the Palazzo Vendramin. But amid our conversation, I could hear Aunt Kathryn in her gondola nearby, saying how much the Doge's palace resembled a huge birdcage she once owned; and the Prince kept turning his head to see if we were close, which was distracting. We had nothing to say that the whole world wouldn’t have heard, yet instinctively, the Chauffeulier and I spoke almost in whispers, not wanting to miss a splash of the water or the dip of an oar, which in the gentle darkness made the light flutter of a bird bathing.
I remembered suddenly how Sir Ralph had said one day, "You'll like Terry in Venice." I did like Terry in Venice; and I liked him better than ever at the moment of our return to the hotel, for there began a little adventure of which he became the hero.
I suddenly remembered how Sir Ralph once said, "You'll like Terry in Venice." I did like Terry in Venice, and I liked him even more at the moment we returned to the hotel, because that’s when a little adventure started, making him the hero.
As I stepped out of the gondola there was a flash and a splash. "Oh my gold bag!" I exclaimed. "Your present, Aunt Kathryn. It's in the canal; I shall never see it again."
As I got out of the gondola, there was a flash and a splash. "Oh no, my gold bag!" I exclaimed. "Your gift, Aunt Kathryn. It's in the canal; I’ll never see it again."
"Yes, you will," said Mr. Barrymore. "I—"
"Yes, you will," said Mr. Barrymore. "I—"
"If there was much money in it, you had better have a professional diver come early to-morrow morning from the Arsenal," the Prince broke in.
"If there's a lot of money involved, you should have a professional diver come first thing tomorrow morning from the Arsenal," the Prince interrupted.
"I know an amateur diver who will get back the bag to-night—now, within the next half-hour I hope," went on the Chauffeulier.
"I know an amateur diver who will get the bag back tonight—hopefully within the next half hour," the Chauffeulier continued.
"Indeed? Where do you propose to find him at this time?" asked the Prince.
"Really? Where do you suggest we look for him right now?" asked the Prince.
"I shall find him inside the hotel, and have him out here, [Pg 253] ready for work in ten minutes," said Mr. Barrymore.
"I'll find him inside the hotel and bring him out here, [Pg 253] ready to work in ten minutes," said Mr. Barrymore.
"What fun!" exclaimed Beechy. "We'll wait here in the moonlight and see him dive. It will be lovely."
"What fun!" Beechy exclaimed. "We'll wait here in the moonlight and watch him dive. It'll be great."
Mr. Barrymore was gone before she finished.
Mr. Barrymore left before she was done.
It was nearly eleven o'clock. The music-barges had gone; the hotel garden was deserted, and scarcely a moving star of light glided over the canal. Our three gondolas, drawn up like carriages at the marble steps of the Britannia, where the water lapped and gurgled, awaited the great event. The Prince pooh-poohed the idea that Mr. Barrymore could find a diver, or that, if he did, the bag could be retrieved in such an amateurish way. But I had learned that when our Chauffeulier said a thing could be done, it would be done, and I confidently expected to see him returning accompanied by some obviously aquatic creature.
It was almost eleven o'clock. The music barges were gone; the hotel garden was empty, and hardly a flicker of light moved over the canal. Our three gondolas were lined up like carriages at the marble steps of the Britannia, where the water gently lapped and gurgled, waiting for the big moment. The Prince dismissed the idea that Mr. Barrymore could find a diver, or that if he did, the bag could be retrieved in such a clumsy way. But I had learned that when our Chauffeur said something could be done, it would be done, and I fully expected to see him coming back with some obviously aquatic creature.
What I did see however, was a great surprise. Something moved in the garden, under the curtain of creepers that draped the nearest overhanging balcony. Then a tall, marble statue, "come alive," vaulted over the iron railing and dropped into the lagoon.
What I did see, however, was a huge surprise. Something moved in the garden, underneath the curtain of vines that hung from the closest balcony. Then a tall marble statue, "come to life," leaped over the iron railing and dropped into the lagoon.
It didn't seem at all strange that a marble statue should "come alive" in Venice; but what did seem odd was that it should exactly resemble Mr. Barrymore, feature for feature, inch for inch.
It didn’t seem weird at all for a marble statue to “come alive” in Venice; what seemed strange was that it looked exactly like Mr. Barrymore, feature for feature, inch for inch.
"Hullo, Terry, I didn't know you meant to do that!" exclaimed Sir Ralph. "You are a lightning change artist."
"Helloo, Terry, I had no idea you were planning to do that!" exclaimed Sir Ralph. "You are a master of quick changes."
For it was the Chauffeulier, in a bathing suit which he must have hurriedly borrowed from one of the landlord's tall young sons, and he was swimming by the side of my gondola.
For it was the Chauffeulier, in a swimsuit he must have quickly borrowed from one of the landlord's tall young sons, and he was swimming next to my gondola.
"I meant nothing else," laughed the statue in the water, the moon shining into his eyes and on his noble white throat as he swam. "Now, Miss Destrey, show me exactly how you stood when you dropped your bag, and I think I can promise that you shall have it again in a few minutes."
"I didn’t mean anything else," laughed the statue in the water, the moonlight glinting in his eyes and on his elegant white neck as he swam. "Now, Miss Destrey, show me exactly how you were standing when you dropped your bag, and I believe I can promise you’ll have it back in just a few minutes."
"If I'd dreamed of this I wouldn't have let you do it," I said.
"If I'd imagined this, I wouldn't have let you go through with it," I said.
[Pg 254] "Why not? I'm awfully happy, and the water feels like warm silk. Is this where you dropped it? Look out for a little splash, please. I'm going down."
[Pg 254] "Why not? I’m really happy, and the water feels like warm silk. Is this where you dropped it? Watch out for a little splash, okay? I'm going in."
With that he disappeared under the canal, and stayed down so long that I began to be frightened. It seemed impossible that any human being could hold his breath for so many minutes; but just as my anxiety reached boiling point, up he came, dripping, laughing, his short hair in wet rings on his forehead, and in his hand, triumphantly held up, the gold bag.
With that, he vanished under the canal and stayed down for so long that I started to get scared. It seemed impossible for anyone to hold their breath for that long; but just when my anxiety peaked, he surfaced, soaking wet and laughing, his short hair in wet rings on his forehead, and holding up the gold bag triumphantly in his hand.
"I knew where to grope for it, and I felt it almost the first thing," he said. "Please forgive my wet fingers."
"I knew where to reach for it, and I felt it almost immediately," he said. "Sorry about my wet fingers."
"Why, there's something red on the gold. It's blood!" I stammered, forgetting to thank him.
"Wait, there's something red on the gold. It's blood!" I stammered, forgetting to thank him.
"Is there? What a bore! But it's nothing. I grazed the skin of my hands a little, grubbing about among the stones down there, that's all."
"Is there? What a drag! But it's nothing. I just scraped the skin on my hands a bit while digging around in the stones down there, that's all."
"It's a great deal," I said. "I can't bear to think you've been hurt for me."
"It's a great deal," I said. "I can't stand to think you've been hurt because of me."
"Why, I don't even feel it," said the Chauffeulier. "It's the bag that suffers. But you can have it washed."
"Why, I don't even feel it," said the driver. "It's the bag that's getting damaged. But you can have it cleaned."
Yes, I could have it washed. Yet, somehow, it would seem almost sacrilegious. I made up my mind without saying a word, that I would not have the bag washed. I would keep it exactly as it was, put sacredly away in some box, in memory of this night. [Pg 255]
Yes, I could get it cleaned. But somehow, it felt almost wrong. I decided without saying anything that I wouldn’t wash the bag. I would keep it just as it was, safely stored in a box, as a reminder of this night. [Pg 255]
XXI
A CHAPTER OF STRANGE SPELLS
"Never since Anne Boleyn has a woman so lost her head over a man with a title as Mamma over Prince Dalmar-Kalm," said Beechy, after our week at Venice was half spent. And I wished that, in fair exchange, he would lose his over Aunt Kathryn instead of wasting time on me, and casting his shadow on beautiful days.
"Never since Anne Boleyn has a woman been so obsessive over a man with a title as Mom is over Prince Dalmar-Kalm," said Beechy, halfway through our week in Venice. And I wished that, in a fair trade, he would become infatuated with Aunt Kathryn instead of wasting time on me and ruining the beautiful days.
Roses and lilies appeared on my writing-desk; they were from him. Specimens of Venetian sweets (crystallized fruits stuck on sticks, like fat martyrs) adorned large platters on the table by the window—gifts from the Prince. If I admired the little gargoylish sea-horses, or the foolish shell ornaments at the Lido, I was sure to find some when I came home. And the man hinted in whispers that the attentions of the Comte and Contessa were for me.
Roses and lilies were on my desk; they were from him. Plates of Venetian sweets (crystallized fruits on sticks, like chunky martyrs) filled the table by the window—gifts from the Prince. If I admired the quirky sea-horse figurines or the silly shell decorations at the Lido, I was guaranteed to find some waiting for me when I got home. And the guy suggested quietly that the Comte and Contessa’s attention was directed towards me.
All this was annoying though he put it on the grounds of friendship; and I didn't like the Corraminis, although their influence opened doors that would otherwise have been closed. Through them we saw the Comte de Bardi's wonderful Japanese collection of the Palazzo Vendramin, the finest in the world; through them we had glimpses of the treasures in more than one old palace; they gave us a picnic dinner in their lighted gondola, on the lagoon, with many elaborate courses cooked in chafing-dishes, which the gondoliers served. They took us to Chioggia on their steam yacht which—it seemed—they must let half the year to afford the use of it the other half.
All of this was annoying, even if he framed it as friendship; and I wasn't a fan of the Corraminis, even though their connections opened doors that would have otherwise remained shut. Thanks to them, we got to see the incredible Japanese collection of the Comte de Bardi at the Palazzo Vendramin, the best in the world; through them, we caught glimpses of treasures in more than one old palace. They treated us to a picnic dinner on their lit gondola on the lagoon, complete with many fancy courses cooked in chafing dishes, which the gondoliers served. They took us to Chioggia on their steam yacht, which it seemed they had to rent out for half the year just to afford using it the other half.
The "County" (as Aunt Kathryn pronounces him) must have [Pg 256] been handsome before his good looks were ravaged by smallpox. As it is, Beechy compares his dark face to a "plum cake, from which somebody has picked out all the plums;" and the black eyes, deep set in this scarred mask, gaze out of it with sinister effect. Yet his manner is perfect, witty, and gracious. He speaks English fluently, and might be of any age between thirty-five and fifty. As for the Contessa, she has the profile of a Boadicea (with which I could never feel thoroughly at home if it were mine) and the walk of a bewitched table, so stout she is, and so square. Her principal efforts at conversation with me were in praise of Prince Dalmar-Kalm, so I scarcely appreciated them. Indeed, the Corraminis repelled me, and I was glad to spare all their distinguished society to Aunt Kathryn.
The "County" (as Aunt Kathryn calls him) must have been handsome before smallpox destroyed his good looks. As it is, Beechy compares his dark face to a "plum cake, from which somebody has picked out all the plums;" and the black eyes, deep-set in this scarred face, look out with a sinister effect. Yet his manner is perfect—witty and gracious. He speaks English fluently and could be anywhere from thirty-five to fifty. As for the Contessa, she has the profile of Boadicea (which I could never feel really comfortable with if it were mine) and walks like a bewitched table, so stout and square she is. Her main attempts at conversation with me were praising Prince Dalmar-Kalm, so I hardly appreciated them. In fact, the Corraminis turned me off, and I was happy to leave all their distinguished company to Aunt Kathryn.
Each day in Venice (not counting the hours spent with them and the Prince) was more wonderful, it seemed, than the day before.
Each day in Venice (not counting the time spent with them and the Prince) felt more amazing than the day before.
First among my pictures was San Marco, which I went out to see alone early in the morning, but met Mr. Barrymore as I inquired my way. I could have wished for that, though I wouldn't have dreamed of asking him to take me. As we went through the narrow streets of charming shops, we played at not thinking of what was to come. Then, Mr. Barrymore said suddenly, "Now you may look." So I did look, and there it was, the wonder of wonders, more like a stupendous crown of jewels than a church. Like a queen's diadem, it gleamed in the grey-white Piazza, under the burning azure dome of the sky.
First among my pictures was San Marco, which I set out to see alone early in the morning, but I ran into Mr. Barrymore while asking for directions. I would have liked to have him with me, but I wouldn’t have dreamed of asking him to come along. As we walked through the narrow streets lined with charming shops, we pretended not to think about what lay ahead. Then, Mr. Barrymore suddenly said, "Now you can look." So I looked, and there it was, the wonder of wonders, more like an incredible crown of jewels than a church. Like a queen's tiara, it sparkled in the grey-white Piazza beneath the blazing blue sky.
"Oh, we've found the key of the rainbow, and come close to it!" I cried. "What a marvel! Can human beings really have made it, or did it make itself as gems form in the rocks, and coral under the sea?"
"Oh, we've found the key to the rainbow, and we're so close to it!" I exclaimed. "How amazing! Can humans really have created this, or did it come about naturally like gems in the rocks and coral under the sea?"
"The cornice does look as if it were the spray of the sea, tossing up precious stones from buried treasures beneath the waves," he answered. "But you're right. We've got the key of the rainbow, and we can go in."
"The cornice really does look like the spray of the sea, throwing up precious stones from hidden treasures below the waves," he replied. "But you're right. We've got the key to the rainbow, and we can go in."
I walked beside him, awe-struck, as if I were passing under a [Pg 257] spell. There could be no other building so beautiful in the world, and it was harder than ever to realize that man had created it. The golden mosaic of the domed roof, arching above the purple-brown of the alabaster walls, was like sunrise boiling over the massed clouds of a dark horizon. Light seemed generated by the glitter of that mosaic; and the small white windows of the dome gained such luminous blues and pale gold glints, from sky without and opal gleams within, that they were changed to stars. The pavement was opaline, too, with a thousand elusive tints and jewelled colours, waving like the sea. It was all I could do not to touch Mr. Barrymore's arm or hand for sympathy.
I walked beside him, amazed, as if I were under a spell. There couldn't be any building more beautiful in the world, and it was harder than ever to understand that people had built it. The golden mosaic of the domed roof, arching above the purple-brown alabaster walls, looked like a sunrise bursting over dark clouds on the horizon. It felt like the light was coming from that mosaic; the small white windows of the dome shimmered with luminous blues and pale gold hints, reflecting the sky outside and the opal glimmers inside, making them look like stars. The pavement was opalescent too, with a thousand shifting colors and jeweled tones, moving like the sea. I could barely resist the urge to touch Mr. Barrymore's arm or hand for comfort.
We didn't speak as we passed out. I was almost glad when the spell was broken by the striking of the great, blue clock opposite San Marco, and the slow procession of the life-size mechanical figures which only open their secret door on fête days, such as this chanced to be.
We didn’t say anything as we left. I was almost relieved when the moment was interrupted by the chime of the big blue clock across from San Marco, and the slow parade of the life-size mechanical figures that only reveal their hidden door on festive days like this one.
Watching the stiff saints go through their genuflexions put me in a good mood for an introduction to the pigeons, which I longed to have for friends—strange little stately ruffling things, almost as mechanical in their strut as the figures of the clock; so metallic, too, in their lustre, that I could have believed them made of painted iron.
Watching the rigid saints go through their kneeling made me feel good about meeting the pigeons, who I really wanted as friends—strange little dignified creatures, almost as robotic in their walk as the clock figures; so shiny, too, in their appearance, that I could have believed they were made of painted metal.
Some wore short grey Eton jackets, with white blouses showing behind; these were the ladies, and their faces were as different as possible from those of their lovers. So were the dainty little coral feet, for alas! the masculine shoes were the pinker and prettier; and the males, even the baby ones, were absurdly like English judges in wigs and gowns.
Some wore short gray Eton jackets, with white blouses peeking out from behind; these were the women, and their faces looked completely different from those of their partners. So did the delicate little coral feet, because unfortunately, the men's shoes were pinker and cuter; and the guys, even the little ones, looked ridiculously like English judges in wigs and robes.
It was charming to watch the developments of pigeon love-stories on that blue-and-gold day, which was my first in the Grand Piazza of San Marco. How the lady would patter away, and pretend she didn't know that a rising young judge had his eye upon her! But she would pause and feign to examine a grain of corn, which I or some one else had thrown, just long enough to give him a chance of preening his feathers before her, spreading [Pg 258] out his tail, and generally cataloguing his perfections. She would pretend that this demonstration had no effect upon her heart, that she'd seen a dozen pigeons within an hour handsomer than he; but the instant a rival belle chanced (only it wasn't chance really) to hop that way and offer outrageous inducements to flirtation, she decided that, after all, he was worth having—and, alas! sometimes decided too late.
It was delightful to watch the unfolding romance of pigeons on that beautiful blue-and-gold day, which was my first in the Grand Piazza of San Marco. The lady would strut around, acting like she didn’t notice that a young judge was watching her! But she would stop and pretend to inspect a grain of corn that I or someone else had thrown, just long enough to give him a chance to fluff his feathers in front of her, fan out his tail, and show off his best features. She would act like his display didn’t affect her at all, claiming she'd seen a dozen pigeons more handsome than him in the last hour; but the moment a rival beauty—though it wasn’t really chance—hopped over and made tempting offers to flirt, she would decide that, after all, he was worth having—and, unfortunately! sometimes she would realize this a little too late.
That same afternoon Mr. Barrymore took me to the little church of San Giorgio degli Schiavoni to see the exquisite Carpaccios, because he was of opinion that Aunt Kathryn and Beechy would prefer to go shopping. Yet, after all, who should appear there but Beechy and Sir Ralph!
That same afternoon, Mr. Barrymore took me to the little church of San Giorgio degli Schiavoni to see the beautiful Carpaccios, since he thought Aunt Kathryn and Beechy would rather go shopping. But, surprise! Who should show up there but Beechy and Sir Ralph!
Beechy thought the dragon a delightful beast, with a remarkable eye for the picturesque, judging from the way in which he had arranged the remains of his victims; and she was sorry for him, dragged into the market-place, so pitifully shrunken, beaten, and mortified was he. She wanted to live in all the mediæval castles of the picture-backgrounds, and was of opinion that the basilisk's real intentions had been misunderstood by the general public of his day. "I should love to have such a comic, trotty beast to lead about in Central Park," said she. "Why the octopi that the people cook and sell in the streets here now, are ever so much horrider. One might run away from them, if you like. Loathsome creatures! I do draw the line at an animal whose face you can't tell from its—er—waist. And only think of eating them! I'd a good deal rather eat a basilisk."
Beechy thought the dragon was a charming creature, with a great eye for beauty, judging by how he had arranged the remains of his victims. She felt sorry for him, being dragged into the market square, so pitifully shriveled, beaten, and humiliated. She wished to live in all the medieval castles in the picture backgrounds and believed the basilisk's true intentions had been misunderstood by the public of his time. "I would love to have such a funny, little creature to take around Central Park," she said. "The octopuses that people cook and sell in the streets here are so much worse. You could at least run away from them if you wanted to. Disgusting creatures! I draw the line at an animal whose face you can't even tell from its—uh—waist. And just think about eating them! I'd much rather eat a basilisk."
Beechy was also convinced—before she crossed the Bridge of Sighs—that many people, especially Americans, would pay large sums or even commit crimes, in order to be put in prison at Venice. "Such a lovely situation," she argued, "and lots of historical associations too." But afterwards, when she had seen where Marino Faliero lay, and the young Foscari, she was inclined to change her mind. "Still," she said, "it would be an experience; and if you couldn't afford to stop at a hotel, it might be worth trying, if you didn't have to do anything very bad, and [Pg 259] were sure of getting a cell on the canal."
Beechy was also convinced—before she crossed the Bridge of Sighs—that many people, especially Americans, would pay a lot of money or even commit crimes just to get imprisoned in Venice. “Such a beautiful location,” she argued, “and full of historical significance too.” But after she saw where Marino Faliero rested, and the young Foscari, she started to reconsider. “Still,” she said, “it would be an experience; and if you couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel, it might be worth a shot, as long as you didn’t have to do anything too serious, and were guaranteed a cell by the canal.”
Neither Beechy nor Aunt Kathryn cared much for the churches or the pictures, so they and Sir Ralph bargained for Venetian point or the lace of Burano, or went to the glass makers', or had tea at the Lido with the Corraminis, while Mr. Barrymore took me to the Frari, the Miracoli, and other churches that he loved best, or wandered with me among the glorious company of artists at the Accademia, and in the Doges' Palace. But Beechy did join in my admiration and respect (mingled with a kind of wondering pity) for the noble army of marble lions in Venice.
Neither Beechy nor Aunt Kathryn were really into the churches or the artwork, so they and Sir Ralph would negotiate over Venetian lace or Burano’s lace, or visit the glassmakers, or have tea at the Lido with the Corraminis, while Mr. Barrymore took me to the Frari, the Miracoli, and other churches he loved most, or strolled with me among the amazing artists at the Accademia and in the Doges' Palace. But Beechy did share my admiration and respect (mixed with a kind of curious pity) for the majestic marble lions in Venice.
Oh, those poor, splendid lions! How sad they look, how bitter is the expression of their ponderous faces. Especially am I haunted by the left-hand lion in the Piazza degli Lioni, hard by San Marco. What can have happened to him, that he should be so despairing? Whatever it was, he has never got over it, but has concentrated his whole being in one, eight-century-long howl ever since. He is the most impressive of the tribe; but there are many others, big and little, all gloomy, sitting about in Piazzas, or exposed for sale in shops, or squatting on the railings of balconies. When I think of that fair city in the sea, I shall often want to run back and try to comfort some of those lions.
Oh, those poor, magnificent lions! They look so sad, and the expression on their heavy faces is so bitter. I’m especially haunted by the left-hand lion in the Piazza degli Lioni, near San Marco. What could have happened to him that makes him look so hopeless? Whatever it was, he’s never recovered from it and has poured his entire existence into one, eight-century-long howl ever since. He is the most striking of the group, but there are many others, big and small, all gloomy, sitting around in Piazzas, or for sale in shops, or perched on the railings of balconies. When I think of that beautiful city in the sea, I often want to go back and try to comfort some of those lions.
Beechy was with me in this; and as for Aunt Kathryn, even the flattering attentions of the Corraminis did not please her more than our experience at the antiquaries', which we owed to Mr. Barrymore.
Beechy was with me on this, and as for Aunt Kathryn, even the compliments from the Corraminis didn't please her as much as our time at the antique shop, which we owed to Mr. Barrymore.
We hadn't been in Venice for twenty-four hours before we saw that the Chauffeulier knew the place almost as if he had been born there. He was even well up in the queer, soft Venetian patois, with hardly a consonant left in it, so well up that he announced himself capable of bandying words and measuring swords with the curiosity-shop keepers, if we liked to "collect anything."
We hadn't been in Venice for twenty-four hours before we realized that the Chauffeulier knew the area almost as if he had been born there. He was even fluent in the strange, soft Venetian patois, which had hardly any consonants left in it, so much so that he claimed he could chat and spar with the curiosity shop owners, if we wanted to "collect anything."
At first Aunt Kathryn thought that she wouldn't bother; there would be too much trouble with the custom house at home; [Pg 260] but, when Beechy happened to say what a rare thing a marble well-head or a garden statue five hundred years old would be considered in Denver, she weakened, and fell.
At first, Aunt Kathryn thought it wasn't worth it; dealing with customs back home would be too much hassle; [Pg 260] but when Beechy mentioned how unique a marble well-head or a five-hundred-year-old garden statue would be in Denver, she changed her mind and gave in.
The idea popped into Beechy's head just as our gondola (it was towards the end of our week in Venice) was gliding by a beautiful, shabby old palace in a side canal.
The idea suddenly occurred to Beechy just as our gondola (it was nearing the end of our week in Venice) was gliding past a beautiful, worn-out old palace in a side canal.
A canopy of grape-vines, heavy with hanging clusters of emeralds and here and there an amethyst, shadowed a carved water-gate. Under the jade-green water gleamed the yellow marble of the steps, waving with seaweed like mermaids' hair; and in the dim interior behind the open doors there were vague gleams of gilded chairs, pale glints of statuary, and rich streaks of colour made by priests' vestments or old altar hangings.
A canopy of grapevines, weighed down with clusters of green gems and an occasional purple one, shaded a carved water gate. Beneath the jade-green water, the yellow marble steps shone, swaying with seaweed like mermaids' hair; and in the dim space behind the open doors, there were faint glimmers of gilded chairs, soft reflections of statues, and vibrant splashes of color from priests' robes or old altar cloths.
"I don't believe even Mrs. Potter Adriance has got anything like this in her house, though they call it so elegant," remarked Beechy.
"I don't think even Mrs. Potter Adriance has anything like this in her house, even though they say it's so elegant," Beechy commented.
That speech was to Aunt Kathryn what valerian is to a pussy cat; for Mrs. Potter Adriance (as I've often heard since I made acquaintance with my relations) is the leader of Denver society, and is supposed once to have said with a certain emphasis: "Who are the Kidders?"
That speech was to Aunt Kathryn what valerian is to a cat; because Mrs. Potter Adriance (as I’ve often heard since I met my relatives) is the top figure in Denver society and is supposedly known for once saying with some emphasis: "Who are the Kidders?"
"Perhaps I'll just step in and see what they've got here," said Aunt Kathryn.
"Maybe I'll just go in and check out what they have here," said Aunt Kathryn.
"It isn't a cheap place," replied Mr. Barrymore. "This man knows how to charge. If you want any marbles, he has some fine ones; but for other things I'll take you somewhere else, where I promise you shall be amused and not cheated."
"It’s not an inexpensive place," Mr. Barrymore replied. "This guy knows how to set a price. If you’re looking for marbles, he has some great ones; but for everything else, I’ll take you somewhere else, where I guarantee you’ll be entertained and not ripped off."
"I think our yard at home is big enough for two or three statues; and a marble well-head and a sundial would be lovely," exclaimed Aunt Kathryn.
"I think our yard at home is big enough for two or three statues, and a marble well-head and a sundial would be beautiful," Aunt Kathryn exclaimed.
"We'll look at some," said Mr. Barrymore, motioning to the gondolier. "But now, unless you're to pay six times what everything's worth, you must put yourselves in my hands. Remember, you don't care to glance either at statues, well-heads, or sun-dials."
"We'll check out a few," said Mr. Barrymore, gesturing to the gondolier. "But now, unless you're willing to pay six times what everything's worth, you need to trust me. Remember, you don't want to look at statues, wells, or sundials."
"But that's what we're here for!" cried Aunt Kathryn.
"But that's why we're here!" shouted Aunt Kathryn.
[Pg 261] "Ah, but the man mustn't guess that for the world! We appear to be searching for—let's say, mirrors; but not finding the kind we want, we may deign to look at a few marbles as we pass. We don't fancy the fellow's stock; still, the things aren't bad; we may decide to save ourselves the trouble of going further. Whatever you do, don't mention a price, even in English. Appear bored and indifferent, never pleased or anxious. When I ask if you're willing to pay so and so, drawl out 'no' or 'yes' without the slightest change of expression."
[Pg 261] "Ah, but the man mustn't find out, no matter what! We seem to be looking for—let's say, mirrors; but since we aren’t finding the ones we want, we might just take a look at a few marbles as we go by. We’re not impressed with his selection; still, the items aren’t bad; we might just choose to skip the hassle of searching further. Whatever you do, don’t mention a price, even if it’s in English. Act bored and indifferent, never excited or anxious. When I ask if you’re willing to pay a certain amount, just lazily say 'no' or 'yes' without changing your expression at all."
As we landed on the wet marble steps and passed into the region of gilded gleams and pearly glints, our hearts began to beat with suppressed excitement, as if we were secret plotters, scheming to carry through some nefarious design.
As we landed on the wet marble steps and entered the area of golden sparkles and shimmering pearls, our hearts started to race with barely contained excitement, as if we were secret conspirators, planning to execute some devious plot.
Immediately on entering, I caught sight of two marble baby lions sitting on their haunches side by side on the floor with ferocious expressions on their little carved faces.
Immediately on entering, I saw two marble baby lions sitting on their hind legs next to each other on the floor, with fierce looks on their little carved faces.
"I must have those for myself," I murmured to Mr. Barrymore in a painfully monotonous voice, as we passed along a narrow aisle between groves of magnificent antique furniture. "They appeal to me. Fate means us for each other."
"I have to have those for myself," I whispered to Mr. Barrymore in a painfully dull voice, as we walked down a narrow aisle lined with stunning antique furniture. "They really speak to me. Destiny has brought us together."
But at this moment an agreeable and well-dressed Italian was bowing before us. He was the proprietor of the antiques, and he looked more like a philanthropic millionaire than a person with whom we could haggle over prices. Without glancing at my lions (I knew they were mine; and wanted them to know it) or Aunt Kathryn's statues and well-heads, Mr. Barrymore announced that he would glance about at paintings of old Venice. What had Signore Ripollo of that sort? Nothing at present? Dear me, what a pity! Lacquered Japanese temples, then? What, none of those? Very disappointing. Well, we must be going. Hm! not a bad well-head, that one with the procession of the Bucentaur in bas relief. Too obviously repaired; still, if Signore Ripollo would take three hundred lire for it, the thing might be worth picking up. And that little pair of lions. Perhaps the ladies might think them good enough to keep a door open [Pg 262] with, if they didn't exceed fifteen lire each.
But at that moment, a charming and well-dressed Italian man was bowing to us. He was the owner of the antiques, and he looked more like a charitable millionaire than someone we could negotiate prices with. Without even looking at my lions (I knew they were mine; and I wanted them to know it) or Aunt Kathryn's statues and well-heads, Mr. Barrymore said he would take a look at paintings of old Venice. What did Signore Ripollo have in that category? Nothing available right now? What a shame! How about lacquered Japanese temples, then? None of those either? That's really disappointing. Well, we should be on our way. Hm! That well-head with the procession of the Bucentaur in bas relief isn’t too bad. It’s obviously been repaired, but if Signore Ripollo would sell it for three hundred lire, it might be worth getting. And those little lions—maybe the ladies would find them nice enough to hold a door open, as long as they were no more than fifteen lire each. [Pg 262]
Signore Ripollo looked shocked, but laughed politely. He knew Mr. Barrymore, and had greeted him on our entrance as an old acquaintance, though, in his exaggerated Italian way, he gave the Chauffeulier a title more exalted than Beechy had bestowed.
Signore Ripollo looked surprised but laughed politely. He recognized Mr. Barrymore and had greeted him upon our arrival as an old acquaintance, although, in his over-the-top Italian style, he gave the Chauffeulier a title even more grand than the one Beechy had given him.
"Milord will always have his joke; the well-head is two thousand lire; the lions fifty each," I thought I understood him to remark.
"Milord will always have his joke; the well-head costs two thousand lire; the lions are fifty each," I thought I understood him to say.
But not at all. Milord was not joking. Would the Signore sell the things for the price mentioned—yes or no?
But not at all. The Lord was not joking. Would the gentleman sell the items for the mentioned price—yes or no?
The philanthropic millionaire showed now that he was hurt. Why did not Milord ask him to give away the whole contents of his shop?
The charitable millionaire revealed that he was upset. Why didn’t Milord ask him to donate everything from his shop?
After this the argument began to move at express speed, and I would have lost track of everything had it not been for the gestures, like danger signals, all along the way. Mr. Barrymore laughed; Signore Ripollo passed from injured dignity to indignation, then to passion; and there we sat on early Renaissance chairs, our outward selves icily regular, splendidly null, our features as hard as those of the stone lions, our bodies in much the same attitudes, on our uncomfortable seats. But inwardly we felt like Torturers of the Inquisition, and I knew by Aunt Kathryn's breathing that she could hardly help exclaiming, "Oh, do pay the poor man whatever he asks for everything."
After this, the argument started to pick up speed, and I would have lost track of everything if it weren't for the gestures, like warning signs, all along the way. Mr. Barrymore laughed; Signore Ripollo went from feeling offended to being indignant, then to outright anger; and there we sat on early Renaissance chairs, our outward appearances perfectly composed and utterly vacant, our faces as stiff as those of the stone lions, our bodies in much the same positions on our uncomfortable seats. But inside, we felt like Torturers of the Inquisition, and I could tell by Aunt Kathryn's breathing that she could hardly restrain herself from exclaiming, "Oh, please pay the poor man whatever he asks for everything."
"Will you give five hundred lire for the well-head?" Mr. Barrymore finally demanded, with a reminder of past warnings in his eye.
"Will you pay five hundred lire for the well-head?" Mr. Barrymore finally asked, a note of past warnings in his gaze.
"Yes," answered Aunt Kathryn languidly, her hands clenched under a lace boa.
"Yeah," Aunt Kathryn replied wearily, her hands clenched under a lace scarf.
"And will you give twenty lire each for the lions? They are very good." (This to me, drawlingly.)
"And will you pay twenty lire each for the lions? They're really good." (This to me, in a drawn-out manner.)
"Ye-es," I returned, without moving a muscle.
"Yeah," I replied, without moving a muscle.
The offers were submitted to Signore Ripollo, who received them with princely scorn, as I had felt sure he would, and my heart sank as I saw my lions vanishing in the smoke of his just [Pg 263] wrath.
The offers were submitted to Mr. Ripollo, who received them with royal disdain, just as I had expected he would, and my heart sank as I watched my dreams disappear in the smoke of his justified anger. [Pg 263]
"Come, we will go; the Signore is not reasonable," said Mr. Barrymore.
"Come on, let's go; the boss isn't being reasonable," said Mr. Barrymore.
We all rose obediently, but our anguish was almost past hiding.
We all got up willingly, but our pain was nearly impossible to hide.
"I can't and won't live without the lions," I remarked in the tone of one who says it is a fine day.
"I can't and won't live without the lions," I said, sounding as casual as if I were commenting on the nice weather.
"I will not leave this place without that well-head, the statue of Neptune, and the yellow marble sundial," said Aunt Kathryn in a casual tone which masked a breaking heart.
"I will not leave this place without that well-head, the statue of Neptune, and the yellow marble sundial," said Aunt Kathryn in a casual tone that hid her breaking heart.
Nevertheless, Mr. Barrymore continued to lead us towards the door. He bowed to Signore Ripollo; and by this time we were at the steps of the water-gate. The gondoliers were ready. Driven to desperation we were about to protest, when the Italian, with the air of a falsely accused Doge haled to execution, stopped us. "Have your way, milord, as you always do," he groaned. "I paid twice more for these beautiful things than you give me, but—so be it. They are yours."
Nevertheless, Mr. Barrymore kept guiding us toward the door. He bowed to Signore Ripollo, and by that point, we were at the steps of the water-gate. The gondoliers were ready. Driven to desperation, we were about to complain when the Italian, looking like a wrongly accused Doge being taken to execution, stopped us. "Go ahead, milord, as you always do," he sighed. "I paid twice as much for these beautiful things as you're giving me, but—whatever. They're yours."
True to our instructions we dared not betray our feelings; but when the business had actually been arranged, and our gondola had borne us away from the much-injured antiquary, Aunt Kathryn broke out at the Chauffeulier.
True to our instructions, we didn't let our feelings show; but when everything was finally settled, and our gondola had taken us away from the wronged antiquarian, Aunt Kathryn erupted at the Chauffeulier.
"How could you?" she exclaimed. "I never was so sick in my life. That poor man! You've made us rob him. I shall never be able to hold up my head again."
"How could you?" she shouted. "I've never been so sick in my life. That poor man! You've forced us to rob him. I'll never be able to hold my head up again."
"On the contrary, he's delighted," said Mr. Barrymore jauntily. "If we'd given him what he asked he would have despised us. Now we've earned his respect."
"On the contrary, he's thrilled," said Mr. Barrymore cheerfully. "If we'd given him what he wanted, he would have looked down on us. Now we've earned his respect."
"Well, I never!" gasped Aunt Kathryn inelegantly, forgetful for the moment that she was a Countess. "I suppose I can be happy, then?"
"Well, I can't believe it!" Aunt Kathryn exclaimed awkwardly, momentarily forgetting that she was a Countess. "I guess that means I can be happy, right?"
"You can, without a qualm," said Mr. Barrymore.
"You can, without hesitation," said Mr. Barrymore.
"Where's that other place you spoke of?" she inquired, half-ashamed. "There's a—a kind of excitement in this sort of thing, isn't there? I feel as if it might grow on me."
"Where's that other place you mentioned?" she asked, feeling a bit embarrassed. "There's a certain thrill in this kind of thing, right? I feel like it could really start to appeal to me."
"We'll go to Beppo's," replied the Chauffeulier, laughing.
"We're going to Beppo's," the driver said with a laugh.
Beppo was a very different man from Signore Ripollo, nor had he a palace with a water-gate to show his wares. We left the gondola, and walked up a dark and narrow rioterrà with coquettish, black-shawled grisettes chatting at glowing fruit-stalls and macaroni shops. There, at a barred iron door, Mr. Barrymore pulled a rope which rang a jangling bell. After a long interval, a little, bent old man in a shabby coat and patched trousers appeared against a background of mysterious brown shadow. Into this shadow we plunged, following him, to be led through a labyrinth of queer passages and up dark stairways to the top of the old, old house. There, in the strangest room I ever saw, we were greeted by a small brown woman, as shabby as her husband, and a supernaturally clever black cat.
Beppo was a completely different guy from Signore Ripollo, and he didn't have a palace with a water gate to showcase his goods. We got out of the gondola and walked up a dark and narrow alley with flirtatious young women in black shawls chatting at bright fruit stalls and pasta shops. There, at a barred iron door, Mr. Barrymore pulled a rope that rang a loud bell. After a long wait, a small, hunched old man in a worn coat and patched pants appeared against a backdrop of mysterious brown shadows. We stepped into this shadow, following him through a maze of strange passages and up dark staircases to the top of the old house. There, in the weirdest room I’ve ever seen, we were greeted by a small brown woman, just as shabby as her husband, and an incredibly clever black cat.
A grated window set high up and deep in the discoloured wall, allowed a few rays of yellow sunlight to fall revealingly upon a motley collection of antiquities. Empire chairs were piled upon Louis Quinze writing-desks. Tables of every known period formed a leaning tower in one corner. Rich Persian rugs draped huge Florentine mirrors; priests' vestments trailed from half-open chests of drawers. Brass candlesticks and old Venetian glass were huddled away in inlaid cabinets, and half-hidden with old illuminated breviaries and pinned rolls of lace.
A grated window set high up and deep in the discolored wall let in a few rays of yellow sunlight, revealing a mixed collection of antiques. Empire chairs were stacked on Louis Quinze writing desks. Tables from every known era formed a leaning tower in one corner. Rich Persian rugs covered large Florentine mirrors; priests' vestments hung from partially opened chests of drawers. Brass candlesticks and old Venetian glass were tucked away in inlaid cabinets, partially hidden among old illuminated breviaries and pinned rolls of lace.
A kind of madness seized Aunt Kathryn. She must have thought of Mrs. Potter Adriance, for suddenly she wanted everything she saw, and said so, sotto voce, to Mr. Barrymore.
A sort of madness took hold of Aunt Kathryn. She must have been thinking about Mrs. Potter Adriance, because all of a sudden she wanted everything she saw and whispered this to Mr. Barrymore.
Then the bargaining began. And there was nothing Dog-like about Beppo. He laughed high-keyed, sardonic laughter; he scolded, he quavered, he pleaded, he was finally choked with sobs; while as for his wife, she, poor little wisplike body, early succumbed to whatever is Venetian for nervous prostration.
Then the bargaining began. And there was nothing dog-like about Beppo. He laughed with a sharp, sarcastic tone; he scolded, he quivered, he pleaded, and eventually was choked with sobs; as for his wife, she, a poor little fragile thing, quickly succumbed to whatever is the Venetian term for nervous breakdown.
Surely the Chauffeulier could not bear the strain of this agonizing scene? Our consciences heavy with brass candlesticks and Marquise sofas, we stood looking on, appalled at his callousness. Beppo and Susanna cried weakly that this would be their ruin, [Pg 265] that we were wringing the last drops of blood from their hearts, we cruel rich ones, and in common humanity I would have intervened had the pair not suddenly and unexpectedly wreathed their withered countenances with smiles.
Surely the Chauffeulier couldn't handle the pressure of this painful scene? With our consciences weighed down by brass candlesticks and Marquise sofas, we stood by, horrified at his indifference. Beppo and Susanna weakly cried that this would be their downfall, [Pg 265] claiming we were squeezing the last drops of blood from their hearts, us cruel rich people, and as a fellow human, I would have stepped in if the couple hadn’t suddenly and unexpectedly brightened their withered faces with smiles.
"What has happened? Are you giving them what they wanted?" I asked breathlessly; for long ago I had lost track of the conversation.
"What happened? Are you giving them what they wanted?" I asked, breathless, since I had lost track of the conversation a long time ago.
"No; I promised them twenty lire over my first offer for that whole lot," said Mr. Barrymore, indicating a heap of miscellaneous articles reaching half-way to the ceiling, for which, altogether, Beppo had demanded two thousand lire, and our offer had been seven hundred.
"No; I promised them twenty lire more than my first offer for that entire lot," said Mr. Barrymore, pointing to a pile of random items that reached halfway up to the ceiling, for which Beppo had asked for two thousand lire, and our offer had been seven hundred.
I could have prayed the poor old peoples' forgiveness, but to my astonishment, as we went out they beamed with pleasure and thanked us ardently for our generosity.
I could have asked the poor old people for forgiveness, but to my surprise, as we left, they smiled with joy and sincerely thanked us for our generosity.
"Is it sarcasm?" I whispered.
"Is it sarcasm?" I asked quietly.
"No, it's pure delight," said Mr. Barrymore. "They've done the best day's work of the season, and they don't mind our knowing it—now it's over."
"No, it's pure joy," said Mr. Barrymore. "They’ve done the best work of the season, and they don't mind us knowing it—now that it’s done."
"Human nature is strange," I reflected.
"People are odd," I thought.
"Especially in antiquarians," he replied.
"Especially among collectors," he replied.
But we arrived at the hotel feeling weak, and were thankful [Pg 266] for tea.
But we arrived at the hotel feeling exhausted, and were grateful for tea. [Pg 266]
XXII
A CHAPTER BEYOND THE MOTOR ZONE
We all felt when we had said good-bye to Venice that we had a definite object in view, and there was to be no more pleasant dawdling. It was ho for Schloss Hrvoya! Aunt Kathryn had suddenly discovered that she was impatient to see the ancient root from which blossomed her cherished title, and nothing must delay her by the way.
We all realized that after we said goodbye to Venice, we had a clear goal in mind, and there would be no more leisurely wandering. It was full speed ahead for Schloss Hrvoya! Aunt Kathryn had suddenly become eager to see the historic foundation of her beloved title, and nothing could hold her up along the way.
I should have wondered at her change of mood, and at the Prince's new enthusiasm for the Dalmatian trip—which, until our arrival in Venice, he'd tried to discourage—but Beechy explained frankly as usual. It seemed that Count Corramini (said by Prince Dalmar-Kalm to possess vast funds of legal knowledge) had intimated that the Countess Dalmar-Kalm was not rightfully a Countess until every penny was paid for the estate carrying the title. That same day, without waiting to be asked, she had given the Prince a cheque for the remaining half of the money. Now if she finds scarce one stone left upon another at Schloss Hrvoya, she can't cry off her bargain, so it's easy to understand why the Prince is no longer anxious. Exactly why he should seem so eager to get us to our destination is more of a puzzle; but perhaps, as Beechy thinks, it's because he hopes to influence Aunt Kathryn to rebuild. And certainly he has influenced her in some way, for she could hardly wait to leave Venice at the last.
I should have questioned her change in mood and the Prince's newfound excitement for the Dalmatian trip—which, until we got to Venice, he’d been trying to talk us out of—but Beechy laid it out plainly as usual. It seemed that Count Corramini (who Prince Dalmar-Kalm claimed had a wealth of legal knowledge) suggested that the Countess Dalmar-Kalm wouldn't truly be a Countess until every dollar was paid for the estate tied to the title. That same day, without being prompted, she gave the Prince a check for the remaining half of the funds. Now, if she finds hardly anything left at Schloss Hrvoya, she can't back out of her deal, so it's clear why the Prince isn't worried anymore. Exactly why he seems so eager to get us to our destination is a bit of a mystery; but perhaps, as Beechy believes, he thinks he can persuade Aunt Kathryn to rebuild. And surely he has swayed her in some way, as she could barely wait to leave Venice in the end.
We went as we had come, by water, for we wouldn't condescend [Pg 267] to the railway; and at the landing-place for Mestre our grey automobile stood waiting for us, so well-cared for and polished that it might just have come from the makers, instead of having charged at full tilt "up the airy mountains and down the rushy glens" of half Europe.
We traveled the same way we arrived, by water, because we wouldn’t lower ourselves to take the train; and at the dock in Mestre, our gray car was waiting for us, so well-maintained and shiny that it looked like it had just rolled out of the factory, instead of having raced through the “airy mountains and rushing valleys” of half of Europe. [Pg 267]
It was goddess-like to be in the car again, yet I regretted Venice as I've regretted no other place I ever saw. Even when there, it seemed too beautiful to be real, but when we lost sight of its fair towers and domes, in bowling northward along a level road, I grew sadly convinced that Venice was a fairy dream.
It felt amazing to be back in the car, but I regretted Venice like I’ve never regretted any other place I’ve visited. Even while I was there, it felt too beautiful to be real, but as we drove away north on a flat road and lost sight of its lovely towers and domes, I became sadly convinced that Venice had been just a beautiful dream.
We saw nothing to console us for what we had lost (though the scenery had a soft and melancholy charm) until we came to old fortified Treviso, with its park, and the green river Dante knew, circling its high walls.
We saw nothing to comfort us for what we had lost (even though the scenery had a gentle and sad charm) until we arrived at the old fortified city of Treviso, with its park and the green river that Dante knew, winding around its tall walls.
At Conegliano—where Cima lived—we ran into the town between its guardian statues, gave a glance at the splendid old castle which must have given the gentle painter many an inspiration, and then turned eastward. There was a shorter way, but the route-book of the Italian Touring Club which the Chauffeulier pinned his faith to in emergencies, showed that the surface of the other road was not so good. Udine tried to copy Venice in miniature, and I loved it for its ambition; but what interested me the most was to hear from Mr. Barrymore how, on the spot where its castle stands, Attila watched the burning of Aquileia. That seemed to take me down to the roots of Venetian history; and I could picture the panic-stricken fugitives flying to the lagoons, and beginning to raise the wattled huts which have culminated in the queen city of the sea. From Udine we went southward; and at the Austrian custom house, across the frontier, we had to unroll yards of red tape before we were allowed to pass. Almost at once, when we were over the border, the scenery, the architecture, and even the people's faces, changed; not gradually, but with extraordinary abruptness, or so it seemed to me.
At Conegliano—where Cima lived—we entered the town between its guardian statues, took a look at the stunning old castle that must have inspired the gentle painter many times, and then headed east. There was a quicker route, but the Italian Touring Club's guidebook, which the driver relied on in emergencies, indicated that the other road's surface wasn’t as good. Udine tried to replicate Venice on a smaller scale, and I admired its ambition; but what caught my attention most was hearing from Mr. Barrymore how, right where its castle stands, Attila watched the burning of Aquileia. That made me feel connected to the roots of Venetian history; I could imagine the panicked refugees fleeing to the lagoons and starting to build the woven huts that eventually became the queen city of the sea. From Udine we headed south; and at the Austrian customs house, just across the border, we had to deal with a lot of red tape before we were allowed to pass. Almost immediately after crossing the border, the scenery, architecture, and even the faces of the people changed; not gradually, but in a way that felt incredibly abrupt, or so it seemed to me.
Just before dark we sailed into a great, busy town, with a surprising number of enormous, absolutely useless-looking buildings. [Pg 268] It was Trieste, Austria's biggest port; and the Prince, who had kept near us for the hundred and thirty miles from Venice, began to wear an air of pride in his own country. He wanted us to admire the fine streets and shops, and made us notice how everywhere were to be seen Greek, Russian, Polish, French, German, Italian, and even English names. "That proves what a great trade we do, and how all the world comes to us," he said.
Just before dark, we arrived in a bustling town filled with an unexpected number of huge, totally pointless-looking buildings. [Pg 268] It was Trieste, Austria's largest port. The Prince, who had been close to us for the hundred and thirty miles from Venice, started to show a sense of pride in his country. He wanted us to appreciate the nice streets and shops and pointed out the variety of Greek, Russian, Polish, French, German, Italian, and even English names everywhere. "That shows how much trade we do and how the whole world comes to us," he said.
Our hotel was close to the quay, and there were a thousand things of interest to watch from the windows when we got up next morning, as there always are in places where the world "goes down to the sea in ships."
Our hotel was near the dock, and there were so many interesting things to see from the windows when we woke up the next morning, as there always are in places where people "go down to the sea in ships."
At breakfast there was a discussion as to our route, which, owing to suggestions and counter-suggestions from the Prince, hadn't been decided. The Chauffeulier wanted to run through Istria and show us Capodistria (another copy of Venice), Rovigno, and Pola, which he said had not only a splendid Roman amphitheatre, but many other sights worth making a détour for. I was fired by his description, for what I've seen of Northern Italy has stimulated my love for history and the architecture of the ancients; but Prince Dalmar-Kalm persuaded Aunt Kathryn that, as the neighbourhood of Cattaro is our goal, it would be a waste of time to linger on the threshold of Dalmatia.
At breakfast, we debated our route, which, thanks to the Prince's suggestions and counter-suggestions, still hadn’t been finalized. The driver wanted to take us through Istria and show us Capodistria (another version of Venice), Rovigno, and Pola, which he said not only had a stunning Roman amphitheater but also many other attractions worth a detour. I was excited by his description because what I’ve seen of Northern Italy has deepened my love for history and ancient architecture; however, Prince Dalmar-Kalm convinced Aunt Kathryn that since the area around Cattaro is our destination, it would be pointless to waste time lingering on the verge of Dalmatia.
"Why, a little while ago you thought it stupid to go into Dalmatia at all," said Beechy. "You warned us we'd have trouble about petrol, about roads, about hotels, about everything."
"Just a little while ago, you thought it was a bad idea to go to Dalmatia at all," said Beechy. "You warned us we’d run into problems with gas, with roads, with hotels, with everything."
"I have been talking since with Corramini," replied the Prince unruffled. "He has motored through the country we are going to, and I see from his accounts, that the journey is more feasible than I had thought, knowing the way as I did, only from a yacht."
"I've been talking with Corramini," the Prince replied calmly. "He’s driven through the area we’re heading to, and based on his reports, the trip is more doable than I originally thought, since I only knew the route from a yacht."
"Funny he should be more familiar with the country than you, as you've got a castle there," Beechy soliloquized aloud.
"Isn't it funny that he knows the country better than you do, especially since you have a castle there?" Beechy said to himself.
"I make no secret that I have never lived at Hrvoya," the Prince answered. "Neither I, nor my father before me. The [Pg 269] house where I was born is at Abbazzia. That is why I want you to go that way. It is no longer mine; but I should like you to see it, since you cannot at present see Schloss Kalm, near Vienna."
"I’m open about the fact that I’ve never lived at Hrvoya," the Prince replied. "Neither I nor my father before me. The [Pg 269] house where I was born is in Abbazzia. That’s why I want you to go that way. It’s no longer mine, but I’d like you to see it since you can’t currently visit Schloss Kalm, near Vienna."
"You seem so fond of selling your houses, why don't you offer Mamma the one near Vienna, if it's the best?" persisted naughty Beechy.
"You really like selling your houses, so why not offer Mom the one near Vienna if it’s the best?" pushed mischievous Beechy.
"I could not sell it if I would," smiled the Prince, who for some reason is almost always good-natured now. "And if I offer it to a lady, she must be the Princess Dalmar-Kalm."
"I couldn't sell it even if I wanted to," the Prince smiled, who for some reason is almost always in a good mood now. "And if I were to offer it to a woman, it has to be Princess Dalmar-Kalm."
I felt that a glance was thrown to me with these words, but I looked only at my plate.
I sensed a glance directed at me with those words, but I just looked down at my plate.
The conversation ended by the Prince getting his way, as he had made Aunt Kathryn think it her way: and we gave up Istria. Soon after ten we were en route for Abbazzia—close to Fiume—slanting along the neck of the Istrian peninsula by a smooth and well-made road that showed the Austrians were good at highways.
The conversation ended with the Prince getting what he wanted, as he had convinced Aunt Kathryn it was her idea: and we gave up Istria. Soon after ten, we were on our way to Abbazzia—near Fiume—traveling along the neck of the Istrian peninsula on a smooth, well-constructed road that showed the Austrians knew how to build highways.
It was but thirty miles from sea to sea, and so sweetly did the car run, so little were we troubled by cantankerous creatures of any sort, that we descended from high land and before twelve o'clock ran into as perfect a little watering place as can exist on earth.
It was only thirty miles from coast to coast, and the car ran so smoothly, with hardly any annoying issues, that we came down from the high land and, before noon, arrived at a charming little resort that's as perfect as any place on earth.
Aunt Kathryn was prepared to like Abbazzia before she saw it, because it was the scene of Prince Dalmar-Kalm's birth, and also because she'd been told it was the favourite resort of Austrian aristocracy. I hadn't listened much, because I had clung to the idea of visiting historic Pola; but Abbazzia captured me at first glance.
Aunt Kathryn was ready to like Abbazzia even before she saw it, since it was the birthplace of Prince Dalmar-Kalm and she'd heard it was a favorite spot for the Austrian aristocracy. I hadn't paid much attention because I was focused on visiting historic Pola, but Abbazzia won me over at first sight.
Everywhere was beauty and peace. The Adriatic spread itself pure and clean as a field of spring flowers, and as full of delicate changing colour. Away on a remote horizon—remote as all trouble and worry seemed, in this fair spot—hovered islands, opaline and shimmering, like a mirage. Nearer rose a stretch of green hills, travelling by the seashore until they fell back for [Pg 270] Fiume, a white town veiled with a light mist of smoke.
Everywhere was beauty and peace. The Adriatic stretched out pure and clear like a field of spring flowers, rich with delicate, shifting colors. On a distant horizon—far away from all the troubles and worries that felt so far from this lovely place—hovered islands, opaline and shimmering, like a mirage. Closer, a stretch of green hills traveled along the seashore until they receded for [Pg 270] Fiume, a white town shrouded in a light mist of smoke.
But for Abbazzia itself, it seemed the most unconventional pleasure place I ever knew. Instead of a smart "parade" all along the rocky indentations which jutted into or receded from the sea, ran a winding rustic path, tiny blue waves crinkling on one side; on the other, fragrant groves of laurel, olives, magnolias, and shady chestnut-trees.
But for Abbazzia itself, it felt like the most unusual pleasure spot I had ever known. Instead of a stylish "promenade" stretching along the rocky outcrops that jutted into or receded from the sea, there was a winding rustic path, with tiny blue waves lapping on one side; on the other, fragrant groves of laurel, olives, magnolias, and shady chestnut trees.
We walked there, after lunching at quite a grand hotel, which, the Prince told Aunt Kathryn, was full of "crowned heads" in winter and earlier spring. Nowhere else have I seen the beauty of sea and shore so exquisitely mingled as on this path overhanging the Adriatic, nor have I smelled more heavenly smells, even at Bellagio. There was the salt of the sea, the rank flavour of seaweed, mingled with the sharp fragrance of ferns, of young grass, of budding trees, and all sweet, woodsy things.
We walked there after having lunch at a really fancy hotel, which the Prince told Aunt Kathryn was filled with "crowned heads" in winter and early spring. Nowhere else have I seen the beauty of the sea and shore blend so perfectly as on this path overlooking the Adriatic, nor have I smelled anything as heavenly, even at Bellagio. There was the salty sea air, the strong scent of seaweed, mixed with the fresh aroma of ferns, young grass, budding trees, and all sweet, earthy scents.
Along the whole length of the gay, quaint town, ran the beautiful path, winding often like a twisted ribbon, but never leaving the sea. Behind it, above and beyond, was the unspoiled forest only broken enough for the cutting of shaded streets, and the building of charming houses, their fronts half windows and the other half balconies.
Along the entire stretch of the vibrant, charming town, there was a beautiful path that often twisted like a ribbon but never strayed far from the sea. Behind it, rising above, was the untouched forest, only interrupted by the creation of shaded streets and the construction of lovely homes, their facades half windows and half balconies.
The dark rocks starred with flowers to the water's edge, looked as if there had been a snow-storm of gulls, while the air was full of their wistful cries, and the singing of merry land birds that tried to cheer them.
The dark rocks dotted with flowers up to the water's edge looked like there had been a snowstorm of gulls, while the air was filled with their longing cries and the songs of cheerful birds from land trying to lift their spirits.
Each house by the sea (the one where Prince Dalmar-Kalm first saw the light, among others) had its own bathing place, and pretty young girls laughed and splashed in the clear water. Up above, in the town, were public gardens, many hotels, theatres, and fascinating shops displaying embroideries and jewelry from Bosnia, which made me feel the nearness of the East as I hadn't felt it before, even in Venice.
Each house by the sea (the one where Prince Dalmar-Kalm first saw the light, among others) had its own swimming spot, and pretty young girls laughed and splashed in the clear water. Up above, in the town, there were public gardens, many hotels, theaters, and interesting shops showcasing embroideries and jewelry from Bosnia, which made me feel the closeness of the East like I had never felt it before, even in Venice.
We could not tear ourselves away in the afternoon, but spent hours in a canopied boat, dined in the hotel garden, and bathed in the creamy sea by late moonlight, the Chauffeulier giving me a [Pg 271] lesson in swimming. Aunt Kathryn grudged the time, but we overruled her, and atoned by promising to go on each day after this to the bitter end, whatever that might be.
We couldn’t pull ourselves away in the afternoon, so we spent hours on a covered boat, had dinner in the hotel garden, and swam in the soft sea under the moonlight, with the Chauffeulier giving me a [Pg 271] swimming lesson. Aunt Kathryn was annoyed about the time, but we ignored her, promising to continue this every day until the very end, whatever that might be.
Next morning, by way of many hills and much fine scenery we travelled towards a land beyond the motor zone. Though the roads were good enough, if steep sometimes, judging by the manners of animals four-legged and two-legged, automobiles were unknown. Only children were not surprised at us; but then, children aren't easily surprised by new things, I've noticed. They have had so few experiences to found impressions on, that I suppose they would think a fiery chariot nothing extraordinary, much less a motor-car. The costumes began to change from ordinary European dress to something with a hint of the barbaric in it. Here and there we would see a coarse-featured face as dark as that of a Mongolian, or would hear a few curious words which the Chauffeulier said were Slavic. The biting, alkaline names of the small Dalmatian towns through which we ran seemed to shrivel our tongues and dry up our systems. There was much thick, white dust, and, to the surprise of the amateurs of the party, we once or twice had "side slip" in it.
The next morning, we traveled through many hills and beautiful scenery toward a land beyond the motor zone. The roads were generally good, although they were steep at times, and by the behavior of both animals and people, it was clear that cars were unheard of here. Only the children didn't seem surprised to see us; but then, I've noticed that kids aren't easily shocked by new things. They have so few experiences to build their impressions on that I guess they would think a fiery chariot was nothing remarkable, let alone a car. The clothing began to shift from typical European styles to something a bit more primitive. Here and there, we spotted faces with coarse features as dark as those of a Mongolian, or heard a few strange words that the driver said were Slavic. The sharp, harsh names of the small Dalmatian towns we passed through seemed to paralyze our tongues and dehydrate us. There was a lot of thick, white dust, and to the surprise of the inexperienced members of our group, we once or twice experienced a "side slip" in it.
How we hated the "mended" roads with their beds of stone, though near rivers they were not so bad, as the pebbles instead of being sharp were naturally rounded. But Aunt Kathryn wouldn't hear a word against the country, which was her country now. Once, when the cylinders refused to work, for some reason best known to themselves or the evil spirits that haunt them, we were "hung up" for twenty minutes, and surrounded with strange, dark children from a neighbouring hamlet, Aunt Kathryn insisted on giving each a coin of some sort, and received grinning acknowledgments with the air of a crowned queen. "I daresay I shall have tenants and retainers like these people," said she, with a wave of her hand.
How we hated the "fixed" roads with their rocky surfaces, though they weren't so bad near rivers, as the pebbles were naturally rounded instead of sharp. But Aunt Kathryn wouldn't tolerate any criticism of the countryside, which was her countryside now. Once, when the machines stopped working for reasons known only to them or the mischievous spirits that plagued them, we were stuck for twenty minutes, surrounded by strange, dark children from a nearby village. Aunt Kathryn insisted on giving each of them some sort of coin and received their grinning thanks like a queen who has just been crowned. "I suppose I’ll end up with tenants and followers like these people," she said, waving her hand.
For a part of our journey down the narrow strip of strange coast, we had on one side a range of stony mountains; on the other, only a little way across the sea, lay desolate islands rising [Pg 272] in tiers of pink rock out of the milk-white Adriatic. But before long we lost the sea and the lonely islands; for at a place named Segna our road turned inland and climbed a high mountain—the Velebit—at whose feet we had been travelling
For part of our journey along the narrow stretch of unusual coastline, we had rocky mountains on one side; on the other, just a little way across the sea, were desolate islands rising in layers of pink rock out of the milk-white Adriatic. But soon, we left the sea and the lonely islands behind; at a place called Segna, our road turned inland and climbed a high mountain—the Velebit—at whose base we had been traveling.
As we were trying to make a run of more than a hundred and twenty-five miles—a good deal for a heavily-loaded car of twelve horse-power—the Chauffeulier kept the automobile constantly going "for all she was worth." He had planned that we should spend the night at the sea-coast town of Zara—that place so inextricably tangled up in Venetian history—for there we might find a hotel fit to stop at.
As we were trying to drive over a hundred and twenty-five miles—a lot for a heavily-loaded twelve-horsepower car—the driver kept the car going as fast as it could. He had planned for us to spend the night in the coastal town of Zara—a place deeply intertwined with Venetian history—because we might find a decent hotel there.
About midday we lunched at a mean town called Gospic, and vast was the upheaval that our advent caused.
About noon we had lunch in a small town called Gospic, and the stir we caused was huge.
As we drove in, looking right and left for the cleanest inn, every able-bodied person under seventy and several considerably over ran to follow, their figures swarming after us as a tail follows a comet. At the door of our chosen lunching-place they surged round the car, pressing against us, and even plucking at our dresses as we pushed through into the house. Spray from this human wave tossed into the passage and eating-room in our wake, until the burly innkeeper, his large wife, and two solid handmaidens swept it out by sheer weight.
As we drove in, scanning for the best inn, every able-bodied person under seventy and a few well past that age rushed after us, their figures trailing behind like a comet's tail. At the entrance of our selected lunch spot, they gathered around the car, pressing against us and even tugging at our clothes as we made our way inside. The rush of this crowd followed us into the hallway and dining room, until the burly innkeeper, his sturdy wife, and two hefty waitresses cleared them out with their sheer presence.
Mr. Barrymore was afraid to leave the car, lest it should be damaged, so he sat in it, eating bread and cheese with imperturbable good humour, though every mouthful he took was watched down his throat by a hundred eager eyes.
Mr. Barrymore was hesitant to get out of the car for fear it might get damaged, so he stayed inside, munching on bread and cheese with a calm, cheerful demeanor, even though every bite he took was observed by a hundred eager eyes.
The landlord waited upon us himself, and could speak German and Italian as well as his own Croatian or Slavish dialect. We were surprised at the goodness of the luncheon, and Sir Ralph was surprised at the cheapness of the bill. "It will be different when they've turned this coast into the Austrian Riviera, as they 're trying to do," he said.
The landlord personally attended to us and could speak German and Italian as well as his own Croatian or Slavish dialect. We were impressed by the quality of the lunch, and Sir Ralph was taken aback by how affordable the bill was. "It will be a different story once they’ve transformed this coastline into the Austrian Riviera, which they’re trying to do," he said.
When we appeared at the door again, ready to go on, there fell a heavy silence on the Chauffeulier's audience. Not only had they had the entertainment of watching him feed, but had observed [Pg 273] with fearful awe the replenishing of the petrol and water-tanks and examination of the lubricators. Now they had the extra pleasure of seeing us put on our motor-masks and take our places. When all was ready Mr. Barrymore seized the starting handle, and gave it the one vigorous twist which wakes the engine when it is napping. But almost for the first time the motor was refractory. The handle recoiled so violently and unexpectedly that the Chauffeulier staggered back and trod on the toes of the fat man of the crowd, while at the same time there burst from the inner being of the car a loud report. At this sign of the motor's power and rebellion against him whom it should have obeyed, the audience uttered cries, scattering right and left, so as to leave a large ring round the automobile which before had not had room to breathe.
When we showed up at the door again, ready to continue, a heavy silence fell over the Chauffeur's audience. Not only had they enjoyed watching him refuel, but they had also watched in fearful awe as he filled up the petrol and water tanks and checked the lubricators. Now they had the added thrill of seeing us put on our motor masks and take our spots. Once everything was set, Mr. Barrymore grabbed the starting handle and gave it a strong twist to wake the engine from its nap. But, for almost the first time, the motor was uncooperative. The handle snapped back so forcefully and suddenly that the Chauffeur stumbled backward and stepped on the toes of the chubby guy in the crowd, while at the same time, a loud bang erupted from deep within the car. At this display of the motor's power and defiance against the one it was supposed to obey, the audience screamed and scattered, clearing a large space around the automobile that previously hadn't had room to breathe.
"Misfire, that's all," said Mr. Barrymore, laughing and showing his nice white teeth in a comforting way he has when anything alarming has happened. Next instant the motor was docile as a lamb; the engine began to purr; the Chauffeulier jumped to his seat, and, followed by a vast sigh from the crowd, we darted away at thirty miles an hour.
"Just a misfire, that's all," Mr. Barrymore said, laughing and flashing his nice white teeth in that reassuring way he has when something scary happens. The next moment, the engine was as gentle as a lamb; it started to purr; the driver jumped into his seat, and with a big sigh from the crowd, we took off at thirty miles an hour.
The rest of the day was a changing dream of strange impressions, which made Aunt Kathryn feel as if Denver were at least a million miles away. We climbed once more up to the heights of the Velebit, seeing from among the dark, giant pines which draped it in mourning, the great forests of Croatia, Lika, and Krabava, with their conical mountains, and far off the chains of Bosnia. Then, at a bound, we leaped into sight of the Adriatic again and sped down innumerable lacets overlooking the beautiful land-locked sea of Novigrad, to tumble at last upon the little town of Obrovazzo. Thence we flew on, over an undulating road, towards Dalmatia's capital, Zara.
The rest of the day felt like a dream full of strange impressions, making Aunt Kathryn feel like Denver was at least a million miles away. We climbed up the heights of the Velebit again, seeing from among the dark, towering pines that shrouded it in shadow, the vast forests of Croatia, Lika, and Krabava, along with their conical mountains, and far away, the ranges of Bosnia. Then, all of a sudden, we caught sight of the Adriatic again and raced down countless winding paths overlooking the beautiful landlocked sea of Novigrad, finally arriving in the little town of Obrovazzo. From there, we sped on, over a rolling road, toward Dalmatia's capital, Zara.
Just as anachronistic electric lights had shown us the way through curiously Italian streets, with beautifully ornamented windows, past a noble Corinthian column and out onto a broad space by the sea, without a warning sigh the automobile stopped.
Just like outdated electric lights had guided us through oddly Italian streets, with beautifully decorated windows, past a grand Corinthian column and out into a wide area by the sea, the car suddenly came to a stop without any warning.
[Pg 274] "Our last drop of petrol!" exclaimed Mr. Barrymore. "Lucky it didn't give out before, as I began to be afraid it might, owing to the hills."
[Pg 274] "Our last bit of gas!" Mr. Barrymore exclaimed. "It's a good thing it didn’t run out earlier, as I was starting to worry it might, because of the hills."
"By Jove! this doesn't look the sort of town to buy food and drink for motors!" remarked Sir Ralph ruefully.
"Wow! This doesn’t look like the kind of town to buy food and drinks for cars!" Sir Ralph said with a sigh.
The Chauffeulier laughed. "Ours won't starve," said he. "I thought you knew I'd ordered tins of petrol to meet us at every big town, for fear of trouble. It will come down by boat, and I shall find the Zara lot waiting for me at the Austrian Lloyd's storehouse. You'd have remembered that arrangement if your wits hadn't been wool-gathering a bit lately."
The Chauffeulier laughed. "Our people won't starve," he said. "I thought you knew I’d ordered cans of gas to meet us at every major town, just in case of trouble. It will come in by boat, and I’ll find the Zara group waiting for me at the Austrian Lloyd’s warehouse. You would have remembered that plan if your mind hadn’t been wandering a bit lately."
"I wonder if they have?" soliloquized Sir Ralph. "Well, here we are within three yards of a hotel which, if I've any brains left, is the very one you selected from Baedeker."
"I wonder if they have?" Sir Ralph thought to himself. "Well, here we are just three yards away from a hotel that, if I've got any sense left, is the exact one you picked from Baedeker."
We all got out as if we had stopped on purpose, and the hotel which Fate and our Chauffeulier had chosen proved very fair, though too modern to be in the picture.
We all got out as if we had stopped on purpose, and the hotel that Fate and our driver had picked turned out to be quite nice, although it was too modern to fit the scene.
If the automobile had flashed us to Mars things could hardly have been more unfamiliar to our eyes than when we walked out next morning to find ourselves in the midst of a great fête.
If the car had zipped us to Mars, it couldn't have felt more alien to us than when we stepped outside the next morning to discover we were in the middle of a huge celebration.
Flags were everywhere: in arched windows, rich with sculptured stone; flying over the great gates of the city; festooned in the charming little houses with fountain courts surrounded by columns. The peasants of the country round had flocked to town for the holiday. Dark, velvet-eyed girls in short dresses of bright-coloured silk heavy with gold embroidery, their hair hidden by white head-dresses flashing with sequins, and tall men in long frock coats of dark crimson or yellow, were exactly like a stage crowd in some wonderful theatre; while handsome Austrian officers wearing graceful blue cloaks draped over one shoulder, might have been operatic heroes.
Flags were everywhere: in arched windows, adorned with intricate stonework; flying over the grand gates of the city; draped over the charming little houses with fountain courtyards surrounded by columns. The local peasants had come into town for the holiday. Dark, velvet-eyed girls in short dresses made of bright silk, heavy with gold embroidery, their hair concealed by white headpieces sparkling with sequins, mingled with tall men in long coats of dark crimson or yellow, looking just like a crowd in an amazing theater; while handsome Austrian officers wearing stylish blue cloaks over one shoulder might have been operatic heroes.
There was strange music in the streets, and a religious procession, which we followed for some time on our way to the maraschino factory which Mr. Barrymore said we must see. Of course, some monks had invented the liqueur, as they always do, but perhaps [Pg 275] the cherries which grow only among those mountains, and can't be exported, had as much to do with the original success of the liqueur as the existence of the recipe.
There was unusual music in the streets, and a religious procession that we followed for a while as we made our way to the maraschino factory that Mr. Barrymore said we needed to see. Of course, some monks had invented the liqueur, as they always do, but maybe the cherries that only grow in those mountains and can’t be exported played just as much a role in the liqueur's original success as the recipe itself. [Pg 275]
If Aunt Kathryn had listened to Mr. Barrymore and me we would have gone from Zara inland to a place called Knin, to visit the cataract of Krka, described as a combination of Niagara and the Rhine Falls. But she said that the very sound of the names would make a cat want to sneeze, and she was sure she would take her death of cold there. So the proposal fell to the ground, and we kept to the coast route, the shortest way of getting to Ragusa and Cattaro.
If Aunt Kathryn had listened to Mr. Barrymore and me, we would have traveled from Zara inland to a place called Knin to see the Krka waterfall, which is said to be a mix of Niagara and the Rhine Falls. But she claimed that just hearing the names would make a cat want to sneeze and was certain she would catch a terrible cold there. So, the idea was dropped, and we stuck to the coastal route, which was the quickest way to get to Dubrovnik and Kotor.
When we had climbed out of Zara by the old post road, begun by Venice and finished by Austria, our way lay among the famous cherry-trees which have made Zara rich. There were miles of undulating country and fields of wheat, interspersed with vines and almond trees which mingled with the cherries. The pastures where sheep and goats grazed were blue and pink with violets and anemones; here and there was an old watch-tower, put up against the Turks; and the rich peasants drove in quaint flat chaises, which looked as if the occupants were sitting in large pancakes.
When we climbed out of Zara via the old post road, started by Venice and completed by Austria, our path led us through the famous cherry trees that have made Zara prosperous. There were miles of rolling countryside and fields of wheat, dotted with vines and almond trees that mingled with the cherries. The pastures where sheep and goats grazed were filled with blue and pink violets and anemones; here and there stood an old watchtower, built to defend against the Turks; and the wealthy farmers drove in charming flat carriages that made it look like the people inside were sitting in large pancakes.
With a motor it was not far to Sebenico, which called itself modestly a "little Genoa;" and it was so pretty, lying by the sea, with its narrowest streets climbing up a hill to an ancient fortress, that I should have loved to linger, but Aunt Kathryn was for pushing on; and, of course, it is her trip, so her wishes must be obeyed when they can't be directed into other channels. We stopped only long enough for an omelette, and passed on after a mere glimpse of close-huddled houses (with three heads for every window, staring at the motor) and a cathedral with an exquisite doorway. Then we were out of the town, spinning on through the wild, unreal-looking country towards Spalato.
With a motor, it wasn't far to Sibenik, which modestly referred to itself as a "little Genoa." It was so beautiful, situated by the sea, with its narrow streets climbing up a hill to an ancient fortress, that I would have loved to stay longer. But Aunt Kathryn wanted to keep moving; it is her trip, so I had to respect her wishes when I couldn't steer them elsewhere. We stopped just long enough for an omelette, and then we moved on after a quick look at the closely packed houses (with three heads for every window, staring at the motor) and a cathedral with a stunning doorway. Soon, we were out of the town, speeding through the wild, surreal landscape toward Split.
"What new ground for honeymooners!" exclaimed Sir Ralph, enchanted with everything, in his half-boyish, half-cynical way. "I shall recommend it in The Riviera Sun for a wedding trip en automobile. Shouldn't you like to do it, Miss Beechy—dawdling, [Pg 276] not scorching?"
"What a fantastic spot for honeymooners!" Sir Ralph exclaimed, captivated by everything in his mix of youthful excitement and dry wit. "I’ll suggest it in The Riviera Sun for a road trip for a wedding. Wouldn’t you want to do that, Miss Beechy—lingering, not rushing?"
"I think when I get married," Beechy replied judicially, "I shan't want to go anywhere. I shall just stay somewhere for a change."
"I think when I get married," Beechy said thoughtfully, "I won't want to go anywhere. I’ll just stay somewhere for a change."
"It's early to decide," remarked Sir Ralph.
"It's too soon to decide," said Sir Ralph.
"I don't know. It's always well to be prepared," said Beechy, with the enigmatical look she sometimes puts on, which (in spite of her ankle-short dresses and knee-long tails of hair) makes her appear at least sixteen.
"I don’t know. It’s always good to be prepared," said Beechy, wearing that mysterious look she sometimes has, which (despite her short dresses and long hair) makes her seem at least sixteen.
Beyond Sebenico the Dalmatian landscape frowned upon us, but we liked its savage mood. The road, winding inland, was walled with mountains which might have struck a chill to the heart of Childe Roland on his way to find the Dark Tower. On a rocky shoulder here and there crouched a sinister little hamlet, like a black cat huddling into the neck of a witch. Sometimes, among the stony pastures where discouraged goats browsed discontentedly, we would spy a human inhabitant of one of those savage haunts—a shepherd in a costume more strange than picturesque, with a plait of hair almost as long as Beechy's, hanging down his back—a sullen, Mongolian-faced being, who stared or scowled as we flew by, his ragged dog too startled by the rush of the motor even to bark, frozen into an attitude of angry amazement at his master's feet. One evidence only of modern civilization did we see—the railway from Sebenico to Spalato, the first we had come near in Dalmatia; and we congratulated ourselves that we were travelling by automobile instead. No tunnels to shut out some wonderful view, just as our eyes had focussed on it, no black smoke, no stuffy air, no need to think of time tables!
Beyond Sibenik, the Dalmatian landscape looked grim, but we appreciated its wild vibe. The road, winding inland, was bordered by mountains that could have chilled the heart of Childe Roland on his quest for the Dark Tower. Here and there, on a rocky slope, crouched a sinister little village, like a black cat huddling against a witch. Sometimes, among the stony pastures where despondent goats grazed listlessly, we would catch sight of a local from one of those wild spots—a shepherd in an outfit stranger than picturesque, with a braid of hair almost as long as Beechy's, hanging down his back—a gloomy, Mongolian-faced figure, who either stared or glared as we sped by, his ragged dog too shocked by the rush of the car to bark, frozen in a pose of angry disbelief at his master's feet. The only sign of modern civilization we encountered was the railway from Sibenik to Split, the first we had come across in Dalmatia; and we felt lucky to be traveling by car instead. No tunnels to block some amazing view just as we were soaking it in, no black smoke, no stuffy air, and no need to worry about schedules!
When at last we sighted the Adriatic again, a surprise awaited us. The land of desolation lay behind; beyond, a land of beauty and full summer. We ran beside an azure sea, transparent as gauze, fringing a tropical strand; and so came into the little town of Trau, which might have been under a spell of sleep since mediæval days. Its walls and gates, its ornate houses, its fort and Sanmicheli [Pg 277] tower, all set like a mosaic of jewels in a ring of myrtles, oleanders, and laurels, delighted our eyes; and the farther we went on the way to Spalato, keeping always by the glittering sea, the more beautiful grew the scene. The walls along our road were well-nigh hidden with agaves and rosemary. Cacti leered impudently at us; palms and pomegranates made the breeze on our faces whisper of the south and the east. Not a place we passed that I would not have loved to spend a month in, studying in the carved stones of churches and ruined castles the history of Venetian rule, or the wild romance of Turkish raids.
When we finally saw the Adriatic again, we were in for a surprise. We had left behind a desolate land; ahead of us lay a beautiful, sun-soaked paradise. We traveled alongside a clear, blue sea, as transparent as fine fabric, edging a tropical beach; and so we arrived in the small town of Trau, which seemed like it had been sleeping since medieval times. Its walls and gates, its decorative houses, its fort and Sanmicheli [Pg 277] tower all sparkled like a jewel mosaic surrounded by myrtles, oleanders, and laurels, delighting our eyes. The farther we went toward Split, always by the shimmering sea, the more stunning the scenery became. The walls along our path were almost covered with agaves and rosemary. Cacti cheekily stared at us; palms and pomegranates made the breeze brush against our faces with whispers of the south and the east. There wasn't a place we passed that I wouldn't have wanted to spend a month in, studying the carved stones of churches and crumbling castles to learn about the history of Venetian rule or the thrilling tales of Turkish raids.
Spalato we reached at sunset, as the little waves which creamed against the pink rocks were splashed with crimson; and Spalato was by far the most imposing place Dalmatia had shown us yet. As in Italy, the ancient and modern towns held themselves apart from one another, as if there could be no sympathy between the two, though the new houses were pushing and would have encroached now and then if they could. We stayed all night; and by getting up at sunrise Beechy and I, with Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph, had time for a glimpse of Diocletian's palace, grand in ruinous desolation.
We arrived in Split at sunset, as the little waves crashing against the pink rocks were tinted with red; and Split was by far the most impressive place Dalmatia had shown us so far. Just like in Italy, the ancient and modern parts of town seemed to stand apart from one another, as if there couldn’t be any connection between the two, even though the new buildings were pushing in and would have taken over if they could. We stayed all night; and by waking up at sunrise, Beechy and I, along with Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph, had time to catch a glimpse of Diocletian's palace, magnificent in its crumbling splendor.
Still we went on beside the sea, and from Spalato to Almissa—sheltered under high rocks at the mouth of a river, was a splendid run leading us by the territory of an ancient peasant republic—Poljica; one of those odd little self-governing communities, like San Marino, which have flourished through troubled centuries under the very noses of great powers. Poljica had had its Jeanne d'Arc, who performed wondrous feats of valour in wars against the Turks, and I bought a charming little statuette of her.
Still, we continued along the coast, and from Split to Omis—protected by towering rocks at the mouth of a river—there was a beautiful path taking us through the territory of an ancient peasant republic called Poljica; one of those quirky self-governing communities, like San Marino, that have thrived through troubled times right under the noses of powerful nations. Poljica had its own Jeanne d'Arc, who accomplished amazing acts of bravery in battles against the Turks, and I bought a lovely little figurine of her.
At Almissa we bade good-bye to the blue water for a while to run by the banks of the Cetina, a big and beautiful river; for the range of the Biokovo Hills had got between us and the sea; but we threaded our way out to it again, after switchbacking up and down an undulating road close to the frontier of Herzegovina; and at the end of a wonderful day descended upon a harbour in [Pg 278] an almost land-locked basin of water. It was Gravosa, the port of Ragusa, still hidden by an intervening tongue of land. It was a gay scene by the quay, where native coasting ships were unloading their queer cargoes. Dark-faced porters in rags carried on their shoulders enormous burdens; men in loose knickerbockers, embroidered shirts, and funny little turbans lounged about, and stared at us as if they were every-day people and we extraordinary. And the setting for the lively picture was the deeply-indented bay, surrounded with quaintly pretty houses among vineyards and olive groves, which climbed terrace after terrace to a mountainous horse-shoe, hemming in the port.
At Almissa, we said goodbye to the blue water for a bit to follow the banks of the Cetina, a large and beautiful river; the Biokovo Hills had come between us and the sea. But after winding our way up and down a hilly road near the Herzegovina border, we found our way back to it again. At the end of a fantastic day, we arrived at a harbor in [Pg 278]—an almost land-locked body of water. It was Gravosa, the port of Ragusa, still hidden behind a piece of land. The scene by the quay was vibrant, with local coasting ships unloading their unusual cargoes. Dark-faced porters in rags carried massive loads on their shoulders; men in loose knickerbockers, embroidered shirts, and quirky little turbans lounged around, staring at us as if we were the unusual ones. The lively scene was set against a deeply indented bay, surrounded by charming little houses among vineyards and olive groves, which climbed up in terraces to a mountainous horseshoe framing the port.
All this we saw in the moment or two that we halted by the quay, before turning up the road to Ragusa. It was a mile-long road, and like a pleasure garden all the way, with the whiteness of wild lilies flung like snow drifts against dark cedars, and trails of marvellous roses, strangely tinted with all shades of red and yellow from the palest to the deepest, clambering among the branches of umbrella pines. There were villas, too, with pergolas, and two or three dignified old houses of curious architecture, of which we had a flashing glimpse through doorways in enormous walls.
All of this we noticed in the minute or so that we paused by the quay before heading up the road to Ragusa. It was a mile-long road, almost like a beautiful garden the entire way, with wild lilies scattered like snow drifts against dark cedars, and amazing roses, colored in every shade of red and yellow from lightest to deepest, climbing among the branches of umbrella pines. There were also villas with pergolas, and a couple of dignified old houses with interesting architecture, which we caught a quick glimpse of through doorways in massive walls.
We bounded up the saddle of a hill, then down again, and so came to a charming hotel, white, with green verandahs, set in a park that was half a garden. We were to spend the night and go on next day, after seeing the town; but the Chauffeulier said that we should not see it to the same advantage by morning light as in this poetic flush of sunset. So after greeting Signore Bari and his sister, who were painting in the park, we drove on, through a crowded place where music played, crossed a moat, and were swallowed by the long shadow of the city gate, black with a twisted draping of ancient ivy.
We bounded up the hill and then down again, arriving at a lovely hotel, white with green verandas, set in a park that was half garden. We were planning to spend the night and explore the town the next day, but the driver mentioned that we wouldn't appreciate it as much in the morning light as we would in the beautiful glow of sunset. So, after greeting Signore Bari and his sister, who were painting in the park, we continued on through a busy square filled with music, crossed a moat, and entered the long shadow of the city gate, dark with twisted vines of ancient ivy.
A throng of loungers, theatrically picturesque, fell back in astonishment to give us passage, and a moment later we were caught in a double row of fortifications with a sharp and difficult turn through a second gate. It was almost like a trap for a [Pg 279] motor-car, but we got out, and sprang at the same instant into the main street of a town that might have been built to please the fancy of some artist-tyrant.
A crowd of onlookers, dramatically colorful, stepped back in surprise to let us through, and moments later we found ourselves navigating a narrow path flanked by a series of barriers before making a sharp turn through a second gate. It felt almost like a trap for a [Pg 279] motor vehicle, but we managed to get out and jumped at the same time into the main street of a town that seemed designed to satisfy the whims of some artist-tyrant.
"It's a delicious mixture of Carcassonne and Verona set down by the sea, with something of Venice thrown in, isn't it?" said Mr. Barrymore: and I thought that part of the description fitted, though I had to be told about splendid, fortified Carcassonne with its towering walls and bastions, before I fully understood the simile.
"It's a tasty blend of Carcassonne and Verona by the sea, with a bit of Venice added in, right?" Mr. Barrymore said. I thought that part of the description made sense, but I had to be explained about the magnificent, fortified Carcassonne with its tall walls and bastions before I really got the analogy.
"Yes, a Verona and Venice certainly," I answered, "with a sunny coast like that of the French Riviera, and inhabited by people of the Far East."
"Yeah, definitely a Verona and Venice," I replied, "with a sunny coastline like the French Riviera, and home to people from the Far East."
I think one might search the world over in vain to find just such another fascinating street as that broad street of Ragusa, with its exquisitely proportioned buildings that gave one a sense of gladness, the extraordinary great fountain, the miniature palace of the Doges, the noble churches and the colourful shops brilliant with strange, embroidered costumes exposed for sale, Eastern jewelry, and quaint, ferocious-looking weapons. And then, the queer signs over the shops, how they added to the bewildering effect of unreality! Many of the letters were more like hooks and eyes, buckles and bent pins, than respectable members of an alphabet, even a foreign one. And the people who sold, and the people who bought, were more wonderful than the shops themselves.
I think you could search the world and still not find a street as fascinating as the wide street of Ragusa, with its beautifully designed buildings that brought a sense of joy, the impressive large fountain, the tiny palace of the Doges, the grand churches, and the vibrant shops displaying unusual, embroidered costumes for sale, Eastern jewelry, and strange, fierce-looking weapons. And then there were the quirky signs above the shops, which added to the disorienting sense of unreality! Many of the letters looked more like hooks and eyes, buckles, and bent pins than proper letters of an alphabet, even a foreign one. The people selling and buying were even more remarkable than the shops themselves.
There were a few ordinary Europeans, though it was past the season now; and plenty of handsome young Austrian officers in striking uniforms, pale blue and bright green; but the crowd was an embroidered, sequined, crimson and silver, gold and azure crowd, with here and there a sheepskin coat, the brown habit of a monk, and the black veil of a nun.
There were a few regular Europeans, even though the season was over; and lots of good-looking young Austrian officers in eye-catching uniforms, light blue and bright green; but the crowd was a mix of embroidered, sequined crimson and silver, gold and blue, with a few sheepskin coats, the brown robes of a monk, and the black veils of nuns here and there.
Through half-open doorways we peeped into courtyards where fountains flashed a diamond spray, all pink with sunset, between arcaded columns. We saw the cathedral planted on the site of the chapel where Richard Cœur de Lion worshipped; then, wheeling [Pg 280] at the end of the street, we returned as we had come while the rose-pink air was full of chiming church bells and cries of gulls, whose circling wings were stained with sunset colour.
Through half-open doorways, we peeked into courtyards where fountains splashed a sparkling spray, all pink with the sunset, between arched columns. We saw the cathedral built on the spot where Richard the Lionheart worshipped; then, turning around at the end of the street, we headed back the way we had come while the rosy air was filled with ringing church bells and the cries of seagulls, their circling wings tinted with sunset hues.
Altogether this day had been one of the best days of my life. So good a day, that it had made me sad; for I thought as I leaned on the rail of my balcony after dinner, there could not be many days so radiant in my life to come. Many thoughts came to me there, in the scented darkness, and they were all tinged with a vague melancholy.
Altogether, this day had been one of the best days of my life. It was such a good day that it made me feel sad; as I leaned on the railing of my balcony after dinner, I realized there probably wouldn't be many days as bright in my future. A lot of thoughts crossed my mind in the fragrant darkness, and they all had a touch of vague sadness.
There was no moon, but the high dome of the sky was crusted with stars, that flashed like an intricate embroidery of diamonds on velvet. From the garden the scent of lilies came up with the warm breeze, so poignant-sweet that it struck at my heart, and made it beat, beat with a strange tremor in the beating that was like vague apprehension, and a kind of joy as strange and as inexplicable.
There was no moon, but the vast sky was covered in stars that sparkled like a detailed embroidery of diamonds on velvet. From the garden, the smell of lilies floated up with the warm breeze, so sweet and intense that it tugged at my heart, making it beat with an odd tremor that felt both like a vague sense of unease and a kind of joy that was just as strange and hard to understand.
Far away in the place some one was singing a wild, barbaric air, with a wonderful voice that had in its timbre the same quality the lilies had in their fragrance. For some reason that I didn't understand, my whole spirit was in a turmoil, yet nothing had happened. What was the matter? What did it mean? I couldn't tell. But I wanted to be happy. I wanted something from life that it had never given, never would give, perhaps. There was a voice down below in the garden—Mr. Barrymore talking to Sir Ralph. I listened for an instant, every nerve tingling as if it were a telegraph wire over which a question had been sent, and an answer was coming. The voice died away. Suddenly my eyes were full of tears; and surprised and frightened, I turned quickly to go in through my open window, but something caught my dress and drew me back.
Far away in the place, someone was singing a wild, captivating tune with a beautiful voice that had the same quality as the fragrance of lilies. For some reason I couldn't understand, my whole spirit was in chaos, yet nothing had happened. What was going on? What did it mean? I couldn't say. But I wanted to be happy. I wanted something from life that it had never provided and probably never would. There was a voice down in the garden—Mr. Barrymore talking to Sir Ralph. I listened for a moment, every nerve tingling as if it were a telegraph wire transmitting a question, and an answer was on its way. The voice faded away. Suddenly, my eyes filled with tears; and startled and scared, I quickly turned to go in through my open window, but something caught my dress and pulled me back.
"Maida!" said another voice, which I knew almost as well as that other I had heard—and lost.
"Maida!" said another voice, one I recognized almost as well as the other voice I had heard—and lost.
Prince Dalmar-Kalm had come out of a window onto a balcony next mine, and leaning over the railing had snatched at a fold of my gown.
Prince Dalmar-Kalm had stepped out of a window onto a balcony next to mine, and leaning over the railing, he grabbed a fold of my dress.
[Pg 281] "Let me go, please," I said. "And that name is not for you."
[Pg 281] "Please, let me go," I said. "And that name isn't for you."
"Don't say that," he whispered, holding me fast, so that I could not move. "It must be for me. You must be for me. You shall. I can't live without you."
"Don't say that," he whispered, holding me tightly so I couldn't move. "You have to be mine. You are meant for me. You will be. I can't live without you."
His words jarred so upon my mood that I could have struck him.
His words affected my mood so strongly that I could have hit him.
"If you don't let me go, I'll cry out," I said, in a tone as low as his, but quivering with anger. "I would be nothing to you if you were the last man in the world."
"If you don't let me go, I'll scream," I said, in a tone as low as his, but shaking with anger. "I would mean nothing to you if you were the last man on Earth."
"Very well. I will be the last man in your world. Then—we shall see," he answered; and dropped my dress.
"Alright. I will be the last man in your world. Then—we shall see," he replied, and let go of my dress.
In another instant, I was in my room and had fastened the shutters. But the words rang in my ears, like a bell that has [Pg 282] tolled too loud.
In a moment, I was in my room and had shut the shutters. But the words echoed in my ears, like a bell that had rung too loudly. [Pg 282]
XXIII
A CHAPTER OF KIDNAPPING
Beechy was ill next morning; nothing serious; but the Prince, it seemed, had brought her in the evening a box of some rich Turkish confection; and though she doesn't care for the man, she couldn't resist the sweet stuff. So she had eaten, only a little, she said; but the box contradicted her, and the poor child kept her bed.
Beechy was sick the next morning; nothing serious; but it looked like the Prince had brought her a box of some fancy Turkish sweets in the evening. Even though she didn't like him, she couldn’t resist the treats. She claimed she only had a little, but the empty box told a different story, and the poor girl had to stay in bed.
Aunt Kathryn and I were with her until eleven o'clock. Then she was sleepy, and told us to go away. So we went, and took a drive to the pretty harbour of Gravosa, with Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph in the motor, unaccompanied by the Prince, whose car was said to be somehow disabled.
Aunt Kathryn and I stayed with her until eleven o'clock. Then she got sleepy and asked us to leave. So we did, and drove to the beautiful harbor of Gravosa with Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph in the car, without the Prince, whose vehicle was said to be somehow out of order.
We expected, if Beechy were well, to get on next day; but the Chauffeulier was troubled about the road between Ragusa and Cattaro—and no proper "route-book" existing for that part of the world, unexplored by motors, he could find out surprisingly little from any one. Prince Dalmar-Kalm was as ignorant as others, or appeared to be, although this was his own land; and so it seemed doubtful what would be our next adventure.
We thought that if Beechy was feeling better, we could move on the next day. However, the Chauffeulier was concerned about the road between Ragusa and Cattaro—and since there wasn't a decent "route book" for that area, which had hardly been traveled by cars, he couldn't find out much from anyone. Prince Dalmar-Kalm seemed just as clueless as the others, even though this was his own country. So, it was uncertain what our next adventure would be.
The spin was a very short one, for the day was hot, and we didn't care to leave Beechy long alone. But when we came back she was asleep still; and I was getting rid of my holland motor-coat in my own room when Aunt Kathryn tapped at the door. "Don't take off your things," she said, "but come out again—that's a dear—for a drive to Gravosa."
The spin was brief because it was a hot day, and we didn’t want to leave Beechy alone for too long. But when we returned, she was still asleep; I was taking off my holland motor-coat in my own room when Aunt Kathryn knocked on the door. "Don’t take off your clothes," she said, "but come out again—that’s a dear—for a drive to Gravosa."
[Pg 283] "We've just come back from Gravosa," I answered, surprised.
[Pg 283] "We just got back from Gravosa," I replied, surprised.
"Yes, but we didn't see the most interesting thing there. You know the yacht standing out at a little distance in the harbour, that I said looked like the Corraminis'? Well, it is the Corraminis'. The Prince wants us to drive with him—not on the automobile, for it isn't mended yet, but in a cab, and go on board the yacht for lunch with the County and Contessa."
"Yes, but we didn't see the most interesting thing there. You know the yacht out in the harbor that I mentioned looked like the Corraminis'? Well, it *is* the Corraminis'. The Prince wants us to ride with him—not in the car, since it isn't fixed yet—but in a cab, and then go on board the yacht for lunch with the Count and Countess."
"Oh, you'd better go without me," I said.
"Oh, you should go without me," I said.
Aunt Kathryn pouted like a child. "I can't," she objected. "The Prince says I can't, for it would be misunderstood here if a lady drove out alone with a gentleman. Do come."
Aunt Kathryn sulked like a kid. "I can't," she protested. "The Prince says I can't, because it would look bad if a woman went out alone with a man. Please come."
"I suppose I shall have to, then," I answered ungraciously, for I hated going. At the last minute little Airole darted after me, and to save the trouble of going back I caught him up in my arms. I was rewarded for the sacrifice I had made by being let alone during the drive. The Prince was all devotion to Aunt Kathryn, and scarcely spoke a word to me.
"I guess I have to, then," I replied unwillingly, since I really didn’t want to go. Right before we left, little Airole ran after me, and to avoid the hassle of going back, I picked him up in my arms. I was rewarded for my sacrifice by being left alone during the ride. The Prince was completely focused on Aunt Kathryn and hardly said a word to me.
At the harbour there was a little boat sent out from the Corraminis' "Arethusa" to fetch us, so it was evident that we had been expected and this was not an impromptu idea of the Prince's.
At the harbor, a small boat had been sent out from the Corraminis' "Arethusa" to pick us up, so it was clear that we had been expected and this wasn't just a last-minute idea from the Prince.
On board the yacht, which we had visited once or twice in Venice, Count Corramini met us, his scarred face smiling a welcome.
On the yacht, which we had visited a couple of times in Venice, Count Corramini greeted us, his scarred face breaking into a welcoming smile.
"I am more than sorry that my wife is suddenly indisposed," he said, in his careful English. "She is subject to terrible headaches, but she sends messages and begs that Countess Dalmar will take the head of the table in her absence."
"I’m really sorry that my wife is suddenly unwell," he said, in his careful English. "She suffers from awful headaches, but she sends her regards and asks that Countess Dalmar please take the head of the table in her absence."
We lunched almost at once, and as it was a simple meal, finished soon. Coffee was served on deck under the awning, and its shadow was so cool, the air so fresh on the water, and the harbour so lovely that I was growing contented, when suddenly I grew conscious of a throb, throb of the "Arethusa's" heart.
We had lunch right away, and since it was a simple meal, we were done quickly. Coffee was served on the deck under the awning, and the shade was so cool, the air so fresh on the water, and the harbor so beautiful that I was starting to feel content when suddenly I noticed the thumping, thumping of the "Arethusa's" heart.
"Why, we're moving!" I exclaimed.
"Wow, we're moving!" I exclaimed.
"A short excursion the Prince and I have arranged for a little surprise," explained Count Corramini. "We hoped it might [Pg 284] amuse you. You do not object, Countess?"
"A quick trip the Prince and I have planned as a little surprise," Count Corramini explained. "We thought it might [Pg 284] entertain you. You don’t mind, right, Countess?"
"I think it will be lovely, this hot afternoon," said Aunt Kathryn, who was radiant with childish pleasure in the exclusive attentions of the two men.
"I think it’ll be lovely this hot afternoon," said Aunt Kathryn, who glowed with childlike joy from the special attention of the two men.
"But poor little Beechy!" I protested.
"But poor little Beechy!" I said.
"Probably she will sleep till late, as she couldn't lunch," said Aunt Kathryn comfortably. "And if she wakes, the 'other Beatrice' as she calls Signorina Bari, will sit with her. She offered to, you know."
"She'll probably sleep in, since she missed lunch," Aunt Kathryn said casually. "And if she wakes up, the 'other Beatrice,' as she calls Signorina Bari, will keep her company. She offered to, you know."
I raised no further objection to the plan, as evidently Aunt Kathryn was enjoying herself. But when we had steamed out of the Bay of Ombla, far away from Ragusa's towering fortifications, and on for more than an hour, I ventured to suggest to Count Corramini that it was time to turn back. "We shan't get to the hotel till after three, as it is," I said, glancing at my watch.
I didn’t object to the plan any further since Aunt Kathryn was clearly having a good time. But after we had left the Bay of Ombla, well away from Ragusa’s tall fortifications, and had been going for more than an hour, I suggested to Count Corramini that it was time to head back. “We won't make it to the hotel until after three, as it is,” I said, looking at my watch.
"Let us consult the Countess," he replied. "Here she comes now."
"Let’s consult the Countess," he said. "Here she comes now."
Aunt Kathryn and the Prince had left us twenty minutes before, to stroll up and down the deck, and had been leaning over the rail for some time, talking in low voices, but with great earnestness. As the Count answered me, they had moved and were coming slowly in our direction, Aunt Kathryn looking excited, as if the Prince had been saying something strange.
Aunt Kathryn and the Prince had left us twenty minutes earlier to walk back and forth on the deck. They had been leaning over the railing for a while, speaking quietly but very seriously. As the Count answered me, they had shifted and were slowly walking toward us, with Aunt Kathryn looking excited, as if the Prince had said something unusual.
"Don't you think we ought to go back to Beechy?" I asked, as she came nearer.
"Don't you think we should go back to Beechy?" I asked as she got closer.
She sat down in the deck chair without replying for a moment, and then she said, in an odd, quavering tone, "Maida, I've just heard a thing from the Prince, that I'll have to talk to you about. County, can I take her into the sallong?"
She sat down in the deck chair without answering for a moment, and then she said, in a strange, shaky voice, "Maida, I just heard something from the Prince that I need to discuss with you. County, can I take her into the salon?"
The Count jumped up. "It is for Dalmar-Kalm and me to go, if you wish to speak with Mees Destrey alone," he exclaimed. And laying his hand on the Prince's shoulder, the two men walked away together.
The Count jumped up. "Dalmar-Kalm and I will leave if you want to talk to Mees Destrey alone," he said. He placed his hand on the Prince's shoulder, and the two men walked away together.
My only thought was that Prince Dalmar-Kalm must have told Aunt Kathryn of my refusal and asked her to "use her influence." [Pg 285] But her first words showed me that I was mistaken.
My only thought was that Prince Dalmar-Kalm must have told Aunt Kathryn about my refusal and asked her to "work her magic." [Pg 285] But her first words made it clear that I was wrong.
"I'm very angry with the Prince, but I can't help thinking what he's done is romantic. He and the County have kidnapped us."
"I'm really mad at the Prince, but I can't help but think what he did is kind of romantic. He and the County have kidnapped us."
"What do you mean?" I exclaimed.
"What do you mean?" I said.
"Oh, you needn't look so horrified. They're only taking us to Cattaro by yacht instead of our going by automobile, that's all."
"Oh, you don't need to look so shocked. They're just taking us to Cattaro by yacht instead of driving us there, that's all."
"All?" I echoed. "It's the most impudent thing I ever heard of. Didn't you tell him that you wouldn't go, that you—"
"All?" I repeated. "It's the most shameless thing I've ever heard. Didn't you tell him that you wouldn't go, that you—"
"Well, I'd like to know what good my saying 'Wouldn't' could do? I can't stop the yacht."
"Well, I’d like to know what good my saying 'Wouldn't' could do? I can’t stop the yacht."
"It's Count Corramini's yacht, not the Prince's," I said, "and whatever else they may be, they're gentlemen, at least by birth. They can't run off with us like this against our wills."
"It's Count Corramini's yacht, not the Prince's," I said, "and no matter what else they are, they're gentlemen, at least by birth. They can't just take us away like this against our will."
Aunt Kathryn actually chuckled. "Well, they have, anyhow," she retorted. "And the Prince says, if only we knew what the road to Cattaro was like, I'd thank instead of scolding him."
Aunt Kathryn actually laughed. "Well, they have, anyway," she replied. "And the Prince says that if we only knew what the road to Cattaro was like, I would be thanking him instead of scolding him."
"Nonsense!" I exclaimed. "We must go back. What's to become of Beechy left alone in Ragusa ill, with nobody but Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph to look after her? It's monstrous!"
"Nonsense!" I said. "We need to go back. What will happen to Beechy left alone in Ragusa sick, with only Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph to take care of her? It's outrageous!"
"Yes, of course," said Aunt Kathryn, more meekly. "But Signorina Bari's there. It isn't so dreadful, Maida. Beechy isn't very sick. She'll be well to-morrow, and when they find we're gone, which they can't till late this afternoon, they won't waste time motoring down; they'll take a ship which leaves Ragusa in the morning for Cattaro. The Prince says they're sure to. We'll all meet by to-morrow noon, and meanwhile I guess there's nothing for us to do but make the best of the joke they've played on us. Anyway, it's an exciting adventure, and you like ad—"
"Yes, of course," Aunt Kathryn said, sounding a bit more timid. "But Signorina Bari is there. It's not that terrible, Maida. Beechy isn't really sick. She'll be better by tomorrow, and when they realize we’re gone, which they won’t until late this afternoon, they won’t waste time driving down; they’ll catch a ship that leaves Ragusa in the morning for Cattaro. The Prince says it’s a sure thing. We’ll all meet by tomorrow noon, and in the meantime, I guess there’s nothing for us to do but make the best of the prank they’ve played on us. Anyway, it's an exciting adventure, and you like ad—"
"You call it a joke!" I cried. "I call it something very different. Let me speak to the Prince."
"You think it's a joke!" I shouted. "I see it as something totally different. Let me talk to the Prince."
I sprang up, forgetting poor Airole asleep on my lap, but Aunt Kathryn scrambled out of her low chair also, and snatched my dress. "No, I'm not going to have you insult him," she exclaimed. "You shan't talk to him without me. He's my friend, [Pg 286] not yours, and if I choose to consider this wild trick he's playing more a—a compliment than anything else, why, it won't hurt you. As for Beechy, she's my child, not yours."
I jumped up, forgetting about poor Airole sleeping on my lap, but Aunt Kathryn rushed out of her low chair too and grabbed my dress. "No, I'm not going to let you insult him," she said. "You can’t talk to him without me. He's my friend, [Pg 286] not yours, and if I choose to see this wild prank he's pulling as more of a—a compliment than anything else, then it won't hurt you. And as for Beechy, she's my child, not yours."
This silenced me for the moment, but only until the men appeared. "Are we forgiven?" asked the Prince.
This caught me off guard for a moment, but only until the men showed up. "Are we off the hook?" asked the Prince.
"Maida's very angry, and so am I, of course," replied Aunt Kathryn, bridling, and showing both dimples.
"Maida's really mad, and so am I, of course," replied Aunt Kathryn, frowning and showing both dimples.
"Dear ladies," pleaded the Count, "I wouldn't have consented to help this mad friend of mine, if he hadn't assured me that you were too much under the influence of your rather reckless chauffeur, who would probably break your bones and his companion's car, in his obstinate determination to go down to Cattaro by motor."
"Dear ladies," the Count urged, "I wouldn’t have agreed to help my impulsive friend if he hadn’t convinced me that you were too influenced by your somewhat reckless driver, who would likely injure you and damage his car in his stubborn effort to drive down to Cattaro."
"Why, lately the Prince has been encouraging it!" I interrupted.
"Why, recently the Prince has been supporting it!" I interrupted.
"Ah, you have misunderstood him. A wilful fool must have his way; that was what he thought of your gentleman chauffeur, no doubt. This will give the self-willed young man an excuse to take the boat to Cattaro to-morrow. You will have a run on Dalmar-Kalm's motor (which he has put on board on purpose) this afternoon from Cattaro to Schloss Hrvoya. It will not be serious for Miss Beechy. You can wire, and get her answer that Signorina Bari is playing nurse and chaperon very nicely."
"Ah, you’ve misunderstood him. A stubborn fool always has to get his way; that’s what he thinks of your gentleman chauffeur, no doubt. This will give the headstrong young man a reason to take the boat to Cattaro tomorrow. You’ll get to drive Dalmar-Kalm’s motor (which he intentionally put on board) this afternoon from Cattaro to Schloss Hrvoya. It won’t be serious for Miss Beechy. You can send a message and get her reply that Signorina Bari is playing nurse and chaperone just fine."
"You must understand, Miss Destrey, as I have made the Countess understand already," put in Prince Dalmar-Kalm, "that I only chose this course because I knew it would be useless trying to dissuade Mr. Chauffeur Barrymore from attempting the trip by road; but this will effectually stop him."
"You need to understand, Miss Destrey, as I’ve already explained to the Countess," interjected Prince Dalmar-Kalm, "that I chose this path because I knew it would be pointless to try to convince Mr. Chauffeur Barrymore not to take the trip by road; but this will definitely put an end to that."
"You are very, very naughty, Prince," chattered Aunt Kathryn; and I was so angry with her for her frivolity and vanity that I should hardly have dared to speak, even if words hadn't failed me.
"You are really naughty, Prince," Aunt Kathryn chattered; and I was so angry with her for her silliness and self-importance that I could hardly have dared to say anything, even if I had the words.
"At least, we have thought of your comfort," said Count Corramini. "There are two cabins ready for your occupation, with everything you will need for the toilet, so that you can sleep in [Pg 287] peace after your trip to Hrvoya."
"At least, we’ve considered your comfort," said Count Corramini. "There are two cabins ready for you, equipped with everything you’ll need for your needs, so you can sleep in [Pg 287] peace after your journey to Hrvoya."
"I must protest," I said, just able to control my voice. "I think this an abominable act, not worthy of gentlemen. Knowing that one of us feels so strongly, Count, won't you order your yacht to turn back to Ragusa?"
"I have to protest," I said, managing to keep my voice steady. "I think this is a terrible act, not something a gentleman would do. Since one of us feels this strongly, Count, will you please have your yacht turn back to Ragusa?"
He bowed his head, and shrugged his eyebrows. "If I had not given my word to my friend," he murmured. "For to-day "Arethusa" is his."
He lowered his head and raised his eyebrows. "If I hadn’t promised my friend," he murmured. "Because today, 'Arethusa' belongs to him."
"I believe he's bribed you!" the words sprang from my lips, without my meaning to speak them; but they hit their mark as if I had taken close aim. The scarred features flushed so painfully that they seemed to swell; and with the lightning that darted from under the black thundercloud of his brows, the man was hideous. He bit his lip to keep back an angry answer, and Aunt Kathryn screamed at me, "Maida! I'm ashamed of you. You'd better go to your cabin and not come out till you're in a—a more ladylike frame of mind."
"I think he bribed you!" the words slipped out before I could stop myself, but they landed with precision. His scarred face turned red with such intensity that it looked like it was about to burst; and the anger flashing from beneath his thick brows made him look monstrous. He clenched his jaw to prevent himself from snapping back, and Aunt Kathryn shouted at me, "Maida! I'm ashamed of you. You should head to your cabin and not come out until you’re in a—a more ladylike mood."
I took her at her word and walked sharply away with Airole trotting at my heels.
I took her at her word and walked away quickly, with Airole following closely behind me.
There were six cabins on "Arethusa", as I knew, because I had been shown them all. I knew also which was Count Corramini's, which his wife's, which her maid's, and which were reserved for guests. Now I walked into one of the spare cabins, of which the door stood open, and whether it was meant for me or for Aunt Kathryn I wasn't in a mood to care.
There were six cabins on "Arethusa," as I knew because I had seen them all. I also knew which one belonged to Count Corramini, which was his wife's, which was for her maid, and which were set aside for guests. Now, I walked into one of the empty cabins, the door was open, and I didn't really care if it was meant for me or for Aunt Kathryn.
Various toilet things had been ostentatiously laid out, and there was a bunch of roses in a glass, which in my anger I could have tossed out of the window; but I hate people who are cruel to flowers almost as much as those who are cruel to animals, and the poor roses were the only inoffensive things on board.
Various bathroom items had been showily arranged, and there was a bunch of roses in a glass that I could have angrily thrown out of the window; but I can't stand people who are cruel to flowers any more than those who are cruel to animals, and the poor roses were the only innocent things on board.
"Oh, Airole," I said, "she takes it as a compliment! Well—well—well!"
"Oh, Airole," I said, "she sees it as a compliment! Well—well—well!"
My own reflections and the emphasis of Airole's tiny tail suddenly brought my anger down from boiling point to a bubbly simmer; and I went on, thrashing the matter out in a conversation [Pg 288] with the dog until the funny side of the thing came uppermost. There was a distinctly funny side, seen from several points of view, but I didn't intend to let anybody know that I saw it. I made up my mind to stay in the cabin indefinitely; but it was not necessary to the maintenance of dignity that I should refrain from enjoying as much of the scenery as the porthole framed in a picture. Accordingly I knelt on the bed, looking out, too excited to tire of the strained position.
My own thoughts and the sight of Airole's tiny tail suddenly cooled my anger from a boiling point to a bubbling simmer. I continued to hash it out with the dog until the humorous side of the situation became clear. There was a distinctly funny angle to it, seen from several perspectives, but I was determined not to let anyone know I found it amusing. I decided to stay in the cabin for as long as it took, but that didn't mean I had to miss out on enjoying the scenery framed by the porthole. So, I knelt on the bed, looking out, too excited to tire of the awkward position.
We had passed a long tongue of land, beaten upon by white rollers of surf, that seemed as if they strove to overwhelm the old forts set far above their reach. A rocky island too, rising darkly out of a golden sea; and then we entered the mouth of a wonderful bay, like the pictures of Norwegian fords. As we steamed on, past a little town protected by a great square-towered, fortified castle, high on a precipitous rock, I guessed by the formation of the bay, which Mr. Barrymore had shown me on a map, that we were in the famous Bocche di Cattaro.
We had passed a long stretch of land, battered by white waves, that seemed to try to overwhelm the old forts positioned far above their reach. There was also a rocky island rising darkly from a golden sea; then we entered the mouth of a stunning bay, like pictures of Norwegian fjords. As we continued steaming past a small town safeguarded by a large square-towered fortress perched on a steep rock, I figured from the shape of the bay, which Mr. Barrymore had shown me on a map, that we were in the famous Bocche di Cattaro.
"Yes," I told myself, "that must be Castelnuovo. Mr. Barrymore said the bay was like the Lake of Lucerne, with its starfish arms. This can't be anything else."
"Yeah," I told myself, "that has to be Castelnuovo. Mr. Barrymore said the bay was like Lake Lucerne, with its starfish-shaped arms. It can't be anything else."
The yacht glided under the bows of two huge warships, with officers in white, on awninged decks, and steamed into a long canal-like stretch of water, only to wind out again presently into a second mountain-ringed bay. So we went from one to another, passing several pretty towns, one beautiful one which I took to be Perasto, if I remembered the name aright, and two exquisite islands floating like swans on the shining water, illuminated by the afternoon sun. Then, at last we were slowing down within close touch of as strange a seaside place as could be in the world. Close to the water's edge it crept, but climbed high on the rocks behind the houses of the foreground, with a dark belt of ancient wall circling the lower town and upper town, and finishing at the top with fortifications marvellous enough for a dream. In the near background were green hills; but beyond, towered desolate grey mountains crowned with dazzling snow, and on their rugged [Pg 289] faces was scored a tracery of white lines seemingly scratched in the rock. I knew that they must mean the twistings of a road, up and up to the junction of mountain and sky, but the wall of grey rock looked so sheer, so nearly perpendicular, that it was impossible to imagine horses, or even automobiles mounting there.
The yacht smoothly passed beneath the bows of two large warships, with officers in white on covered decks, and entered a long canal-like stretch of water, only to soon wind out again into a second bay surrounded by mountains. So we moved from one to another, passing several charming towns, one particularly beautiful which I guessed to be Perasto, if I remembered the name correctly, and two stunning islands floating like swans on the shimmering water, lit up by the afternoon sun. Finally, we started to slow down near a seaside place that was as strange as any in the world. It crept close to the water's edge but climbed high on the rocks behind the houses in front, with a dark ring of ancient walls surrounding the lower and upper town, topped with fortifications remarkable enough for a dream. In the near background were green hills; but beyond, loomed barren grey mountains capped with brilliant snow, and on their rugged faces was a delicate pattern of white lines that seemed scratched into the rock. I knew those lines must represent the twists of a road, going up and up to where the mountain meets the sky, but the sheer wall of grey rock looked so steep, almost vertical, that it was hard to picture horses, or even cars, making their way up there.
In my interest and wonder as to whether we had arrived at Cattaro already I had forgotten my injuries for the moment, until I was reminded of them by Aunt Kathryn's voice.
In my curiosity and surprise about whether we had already gotten to Cattaro, I temporarily forgot about my injuries until Aunt Kathryn's voice reminded me of them.
"It's Cattaro," she called through the door. "Let me in, please. I've something to say."
"Hey, it's Cattaro," she shouted through the door. "Can you let me in, please? I have something to say."
I slipped back the bolt and she came in hurriedly, as if she were afraid of being kept out after all.
I slid back the bolt and she rushed in, as if she were scared of being left outside after all.
"See here, Maida," she said, "to save time the Prince is having his motor put on shore the minute we get in to the quay, and he'll drive us up to Schloss Hrvoya this afternoon. It's only four o'clock, and he says, though it's away up in the mountains and we'll be two hours getting there, we shall run down in half the time, so we shall be back soon after seven and can dine on board. It's quite appropriate that I should be with the Prince, whose ancestral home it was, when I look on Hrvoya first. He's fully persuaded me of that. I think the whole thing's most dramatic, and I do hope you won't spoil it by being disagreeable any longer."
"Listen, Maida," she said, "to save time the Prince is having his car brought to shore as soon as we get to the dock, and he'll take us up to Schloss Hrvoya this afternoon. It's only four o'clock, and he says that even though it's way up in the mountains and we'll take two hours to get there, we’ll come back in half the time, so we should be back just after seven and can have dinner on board. It makes perfect sense that I should be with the Prince, since it's his family home, when I see Hrvoya for the first time. He's convinced me of that. I think it's all so dramatic, and I really hope you won't ruin it by being difficult any longer."
"I think you're the—the unwisest woman I ever saw!" I couldn't help exclaiming.
"I think you're the—the least wise woman I've ever seen!" I couldn't help but exclaim.
"Well, I think you're very rude. I do believe you're jealous of me with the Prince. That's his idea, anyway, though he'd be vexed if he thought I'd told you, and I wouldn't if you hadn't aggravated me. Oh dear, you do make me so nervous and miserable! Will you come to Schloss Hrvoya or will you not?"
"Well, I think you're really rude. I honestly believe you're jealous of me and the Prince. That's his idea, anyway, though he’d be upset if he thought I told you, and I wouldn't have if you hadn't annoyed me. Oh dear, you make me so anxious and unhappy! Will you come to Schloss Hrvoya or not?"
I thought very quickly for a few seconds before answering. Perhaps it would be better to go than to stay on "Arethusa" without Aunt Kathryn, especially as I had now made Count Corramini my enemy. Mr. Barrymore and Sir Ralph and Beechy couldn't arrive at Cattaro by ship till to-morrow, even if they found out what had become of us, and followed at the earliest [Pg 290] opportunity without waiting to hear. No, there was nothing to keep me on the yacht, or in the town of Cattaro, and hateful as the whole expedition was, it would be better to cling to Aunt Kathryn than be anywhere else alone in a strange place, among people whose language I neither spoke nor understood.
I thought for a few seconds before answering. Maybe it would be better to leave than to stay on "Arethusa" without Aunt Kathryn, especially since I had made Count Corramini my enemy. Mr. Barrymore, Sir Ralph, and Beechy wouldn’t be able to reach Cattaro by ship until tomorrow, even if they found out what happened to us and followed as soon as possible without waiting to hear anything. No, there was nothing that kept me on the yacht or in the town of Cattaro, and as awful as the whole situation was, it would be better to stick with Aunt Kathryn than to be alone in a strange place among people whose language I didn’t speak or understand.
"Yes, I will come," I said.
"Sure, I'll be there," I said.
"Arethusa" touched the quay as I spoke, and there was a great bustle on deck, no doubt landing the Prince's motor, which had stood concealed on the forward deck under an enormous tarpaulin.
"Arethusa" came alongside the dock as I talked, and there was a lot of activity on the deck, probably unloading the Prince's motor, which had been hidden under a large tarp on the front deck.
Aunt Kathryn, triumphant, hurried off to get ready, and I began [Pg 291] slowly to follow her example.
Aunt Kathryn, feeling victorious, rushed off to get ready, and I started to follow her lead slowly. [Pg 291]
XXIV
A CHAPTER ON PUTTING TRUST IN PRINCES
When I had put on my hat and coat, which I'd taken off in the cabin, I went on deck with Airole tucked under my arm, expecting to find Aunt Kathryn, as I had not made haste. She was not there, but on shore close to the quay stood the automobile, which had been put off in a kind of sling; and on the front seat was the familiar, plump figure in its long, light brown coat, and the mushroom-like mask with the talc window.
When I put on my hat and coat, which I had taken off in the cabin, I went on deck with Airole tucked under my arm, expecting to find Aunt Kathryn, since I hadn't rushed. She wasn't there, but by the quay, the car was waiting, having been set down in some sort of sling; and in the front seat was the familiar, plump figure in her long, light brown coat, wearing the mushroom-like mask with the talc window.
I had not brought my mask, but evidently Aunt Kathryn must have had hers stuffed into one of the big pockets of her coat, as she often did. The Prince stood talking to her, and seeing that all was ready I crossed the gang-plank and walked quickly to the car.
I hadn’t brought my mask, but clearly Aunt Kathryn must have had hers tucked into one of the big pockets of her coat, like she usually did. The Prince was chatting with her, and once I saw everything was ready, I crossed the gangplank and hurried to the car.
Aunt Kathryn neither spoke to me nor turned her head, which scarcely surprised me, considering the bad terms we were upon, for the first time in all the months of our acquaintance.
Aunt Kathryn didn't talk to me or even glance my way, which didn't really surprise me, given the rough state of our relationship, especially since it was the first time in all the months we had known each other.
The Prince "hoped that I wouldn't mind sitting in the tonneau," and explained a pile of rugs on the seat opposite mine by saying that it would grow chilly as we ascended into the mountains, and he did not wish his passengers to suffer.
The Prince "hoped that I wouldn’t mind sitting in the back," and explained a stack of blankets on the seat opposite me by saying that it would get cold as we went up into the mountains, and he didn’t want his passengers to be uncomfortable.
"Where's Joseph?" I asked, addressing him for the first time since taking him to task on deck.
"Where's Joseph?" I asked, speaking to him for the first time since I confronted him on deck.
"I left him in Ragusa," replied the Prince. "He will not be needed." With this, the tonneau door was shut, the car started, and we bounded away. A few men and women, in very interesting, [Pg 292] Eastern costumes, quite different from anything we had seen yet, watched our progress in silence and with imperturbable faces, dark and proud.
"I left him in Ragusa," the Prince replied. "We won't need him." With that, the tonneau door closed, the car started, and we took off. A few men and women in really interesting Eastern outfits, completely different from anything we'd seen so far, watched us silently with unshakable expressions, dark and proud.
Angry as I still was with Prince Dalmar-Kalm for the trick he had so impudently played upon us, and the part forced upon me for Aunt Kathryn's sake, I could not be blind to the beauty of this strange world, or suppress all joy in it.
Angry as I still was with Prince Dalmar-Kalm for the bold trick he had played on us, and the role I had to take on for Aunt Kathryn's sake, I couldn't ignore the beauty of this strange world, nor could I suppress all joy in it.
Cattaro seemed to lie plastered against a tremendous wall of sheer rock rising behind the ringed town and its fortress; and I saw, soon after starting, that we must be bound for the mountain with the silken skein of road, which I had gazed at in wonder from my porthole. We had not long left Cattaro, when our way began to mount in long zigzags, doubling back again and again upon itself. Presently we could look down upon the town, prone at the foot of its fortified hill on the very edge of the sea, which as we climbed, assumed the shape and colour of a great shimmering blue silk sleeve.
Cattaro seemed to be pressed against a massive wall of steep rock rising behind the walled town and its fortress. Shortly after we started, I realized we were heading for the mountain with the winding road I had marveled at from my porthole. We had barely left Cattaro when our path began to ascend in long zigzags, looping back on itself again and again. Soon, we could look down at the town, lying at the base of its fortified hill right by the sea, which, as we climbed, took on the shape and color of a beautiful shimmering blue silk sleeve.
Mountains towered all around us, mountains in every direction as far as the eye could reach, many crowned by low, green forts, connected with the lower world by the lacings of thread-like roads.
Mountains loomed all around us, mountains in every direction as far as we could see, many topped with low, green fortifications, linked to the valley below by narrow, winding roads.
Still we mounted, the car going well and the Prince driving in silence. Though the gradient was steep—sometimes so steep as to be terrible for horses—we seemed to travel so fast that it was surprising to find ourselves apparently no nearer the mountain-tops than when we started. Though we gazed down so far that all things on the sea level had shrunk into nothingness, and the big warship we had seen in coming was no larger than a beetle, we gazed still farther up to the line where sky and mountain met. And always, there were the grey-white, zigzag lines scored on the face of the sheer rock.
Still, we set off, the car running smoothly and the Prince driving in silence. Even though the incline was steep—sometimes so steep it was tough for horses—we seemed to be going so fast that it was surprising to find we weren’t any closer to the mountain tops than when we began. We looked down so far that everything at sea level had shrunk into nothingness, and the large warship we had spotted on the way was no bigger than a beetle, yet we continued to look up to the horizon where the sky met the mountain. And always, there were the grey-white, zigzag lines etched into the face of the sheer rock.
I longed for some one to talk with, some one sympathetic to exclaim to; in fact, I wished I were driving up this magnificent, this appalling road, beside the Chauffeulier instead of in Prince Dalmar-Kalm's tonneau. I wondered that Aunt Kathryn—usually [Pg 293] so impulsive—could restrain herself here, and expected at any moment to have her turn to me, our differences forgotten. But no, she neither moved nor spoke, and I realized how angry she must be with me, to visit her vexation upon herself, and the Prince also.
I craved someone to talk to, someone understanding to share my thoughts with; honestly, I wished I were driving along this stunning, yet overwhelming road, next to the driver instead of in Prince Dalmar-Kalm's back seat. I was surprised that Aunt Kathryn—usually so spontaneous—could hold back here, and I expected her to turn to me any moment, our disagreements pushed aside. But no, she didn't move or say anything, and I started to understand just how upset she must be with me to inflict her frustration on herself and the Prince as well.
I had thought the Col di Tenda wonderful, and the way down to Bellagio over the mountains still more thrilling; but here, they were dwarfed into utter insignificance. I could have imagined nothing like this feat of engineering, nothing so wild, so majestic as the ever-changing views from these incredible heights.
I used to think the Col di Tenda was amazing, and the descent to Bellagio over the mountains was even more exciting; but here, they seemed completely trivial. I could have never imagined anything like this engineering marvel, nothing as wild or majestic as the constantly changing views from these breathtaking heights.
My respect for Schloss Hrvoya and its environment increased with every ascending mile; but the distance was proving itself so great that I did not see how it would be possible for the Prince to keep his promise, and get us back to Cattaro before eight. And we had left summer warmth as far behind as the level which it enriched with tropical flowers. The Prince suggested to Aunt Kathryn that she should wrap round her a shawl-like rug, and though I hated to follow his advice or take any favours from him, I decided that it would be foolish to make myself a martyr. So I, too, swaddled myself in woolly folds, and was thankful.
My respect for Schloss Hrvoya and its surroundings grew with every mile we climbed; however, the distance was so vast that I couldn’t see how the Prince could keep his promise and get us back to Cattaro before eight. We had left the summer warmth far behind, along with the lush tropical flowers that thrived in it. The Prince suggested to Aunt Kathryn that she should wrap herself in a shawl-like blanket, and even though I hated to take his advice or accept any favors from him, I realized it would be foolish to suffer unnecessarily. So I wrapped myself in cozy wool, and felt grateful.
Now the windings of the Bocche di Cattaro revealed themselves completely. The bay was no longer a silk sleeve; but a vast star, seemingly cut out of a lapis lazuli, was set mosaic-like in the midst of green and blue-grey mountains that soared up from it—up, up, in shapes strange as a goblin's dream. Then, the azure star vanished, and rocky heights shut away the view of the distant sea. Vegetation grew sparse. At last we had reached the desolate and stony top of the mountain-range which a little while ago had touched the sky. Clouds like huge white swans swam in the blue air below us, where we could look down from some sheer precipice. But where was Schloss Hrvoya? And would Aunt Kathryn never speak to me?
Now the twists of the Bocche di Cattaro were fully revealed. The bay was no longer a silk sleeve; instead, a vast star, seemingly cut out of a lapis lazuli, was set like a mosaic amidst the green and blue-grey mountains that rose up from it—up, up, in shapes as strange as a goblin's dream. Then, the azure star disappeared, and rocky heights blocked the view of the distant sea. Vegetation became sparse. We had finally reached the desolate and stony top of the mountain range that had touched the sky not long ago. Clouds like huge white swans floated in the blue air below us, where we could look down from a sheer precipice. But where was Schloss Hrvoya? And would Aunt Kathryn ever speak to me?
Almost as if he read my thoughts, Prince Dalmar-Kalm turned his head, checking the speed of the motor. "Don't be discouraged," he said, cheerfully. "We shall be going down now, for a [Pg 294] time, instead of up; and shortly we shall be at our journey's end."
Almost as if he could read my mind, Prince Dalmar-Kalm turned his head, checking the speed of the motor. "Don't be discouraged," he said, cheerfully. "We'll be going down now, for a [Pg 294] while, instead of up; and soon we'll reach our destination."
"But soon it will be twilight," I answered. "Do you know, it is after six, and you said we would be back in Cattaro before eight. That's impossible now; and I'm afraid that there won't be much daylight for Aunt Kathryn to have a first look at her castle."
"But soon it will be twilight," I replied. "You know, it's after six, and you said we would be back in Cattaro before eight. That's not possible now; and I'm worried that there won't be much daylight left for Aunt Kathryn to see her castle for the first time."
"It will be more imposing by twilight," replied the Prince; and though my words had been a bid for notice from Aunt Kathryn, she made no sign of having heard.
"It will look more impressive at twilight," replied the Prince; and even though I was trying to get Aunt Kathryn's attention, she showed no indication that she had heard me.
Once more Prince Dalmar-Kalm turned his attention to driving, and, as he had prophesied, we began to plunge down heights almost as tremendous as those we had climbed. The road, though splendidly engineered, was covered with loose, sharp stones; and the surging mountain-tops on every side were like the tossing waves of a desolate sea, turned to stone in some fierce spasm of nature. Then, in the midst of this petrified ocean, we flashed through a tiny village, and my hopes of reaching Schloss Hrvoya before nightfall brightened.
Once again, Prince Dalmar-Kalm focused on driving, and, just as he had predicted, we started to rush down steep slopes that were almost as daunting as the ones we had just climbed. The road, although expertly built, was littered with loose, sharp stones; and the towering mountain peaks all around us resembled the choppy waves of a barren sea, frozen in a violent moment of nature. Then, right in the middle of this stony ocean, we sped through a small village, and my hopes of arriving at Schloss Hrvoya before dark lifted.
From the little group of low, stone buildings, men who must have sprung from a race of giants, rushed out in answer to the voice of our motor. I had never seen such wonderful men, unless, perhaps, Mr. Barrymore might be like them, if dressed as they were. Not one of the splendid band was under six feet in height, and many were much taller. On their handsome, close-cropped heads they wore gold-braided turbans over one ear. Their long coats, falling to the knee, were of green, or red, or white, open to show waistcoats crusted with gold embroidery. Round their slim waists were wound voluminous sashes stuck full of sheathed knives and huge pistols. Some had richly ornamented leather boots reaching half way up their long, straight legs, while others wore white leggings, with knitted stockings pulled up over them.
From the small group of low, stone buildings, men who must have come from a race of giants rushed out in response to the sound of our motor. I had never seen such impressive men, unless Mr. Barrymore might resemble them if he were dressed like they were. Not one of the magnificent group was under six feet tall, and many were much taller. On their handsome, closely cropped heads, they wore gold-braided turbans tilted to one side. Their long coats, reaching down to their knees, were in shades of green, red, or white, open to reveal waistcoats adorned with gold embroidery. Wrapped around their slim waists were voluminous sashes filled with sheathed knives and large pistols. Some wore richly decorated leather boots that came halfway up their long, straight legs, while others had on white leggings with knitted stockings pulled up over them.
In a moment these gorgeous giants and their mean village were gone for us; but our road took us past persons walking towards the town; men, young and old, tall, beautiful boys, and white-clad women driving sheep, who knitted their husbands' stockings [Pg 295] as they walked.
In an instant, these beautiful giants and their unkind village disappeared from view; however, our path led us by people heading toward the town: men of all ages, handsome young boys, and women in white driving sheep, who knitted their husbands' socks as they walked. [Pg 295]
Here and there in a deep pit among the tumbled grey rocks would be a little vivid green dell, with a fairy ring of cultivated vegetation. This would be guarded, perhaps, by a hut of stone, almost savage in the crudeness of its construction. It was as if the proud people of this remote, mountain world, wishing to owe their all to their own country, nothing to outsiders, had preferred to make their houses with their own hands out of their own rocks, hewing the walls and roofing them with thatch from grass grown in their own pastures.
Here and there in a deep pit among the tumbled gray rocks, there would be a little vivid green valley, surrounded by a circle of cultivated plants. This would likely be protected by a stone hut, nearly wild in its rough construction. It was as if the proud people of this remote mountain region, wanting to owe everything to their own land and nothing to outsiders, chose to build their homes with their own hands from their own rocks, shaping the walls and roofing them with thatch made from grass grown in their own fields.
Impressed, almost terrified by the loneliness of this desolate land of giants, lit fiercely now by the lurid glow of sunset, I searched the distance for some towering hill crowned by a castle which might be Hrvoya. But there were no castles, even ruined castles, in this region of high rocks and lonely huts, and the red horizon was hemmed coldly in by a range of ghostly, snow-clad mountains.
Impressed, almost scared by the loneliness of this desolate land of giants, now lit up by the harsh glow of sunset, I looked into the distance for some tall hill topped by a castle that might be Hrvoya. But there were no castles, not even ruined ones, in this area of high rocks and isolated huts, and the red horizon was coldly bordered by a range of ghostly, snow-covered mountains.
"What mountains are those, far away?" I could not resist asking.
"What mountains are those in the distance?" I couldn't help but ask.
"They are the mountains of Albania," the Prince answered.
"They're the mountains of Albania," the Prince replied.
"Why, but that sounds as if we were at the end of the world!" I cried, startled.
"Wow, that sounds like we’re at the end of the world!" I exclaimed, surprised.
He laughed over his shoulder. "And I am the last man in it! What did I say to you yesterday?"
He laughed over his shoulder. "And I’m the last guy in it! What did I tell you yesterday?"
This reminder brought back the anger I was forgetting in my need of human fellowship, and I did not speak again, but hugged little Airole the closer, nestled under the warm rug.
This reminder reignited the anger I was trying to forget in my desire for human connection, and I didn’t say anything else, but hugged little Airole tighter, snuggled under the warm blanket.
At the end of a long, straight road that stretched before us I could see a single, pale yellow light suddenly flash up in the twilight like a lonely primrose, and farther on a little knot of other lights blossomed in the dusk.
At the end of a long, straight road in front of us, I could see a single, pale yellow light suddenly appear in the twilight like a lonely primrose, and further along, a small cluster of other lights emerged in the dusk.
"We shall be there now in a few minutes," I was saying to myself, when suddenly I was startled by a loud report like a pistol-shot. Aunt Kathryn gave a shriek which was quite hoarse and unlike her natural voice, but I was silent, holding Airole trembling [Pg 296] and barking under my arm.
"We'll be there in just a few minutes," I thought to myself, when suddenly I was shocked by a loud bang that sounded like a gunshot. Aunt Kathryn let out a hoarse shriek that didn't sound like her usual voice, but I stayed quiet, holding Airole, who was trembling and barking under my arm. [Pg 296]
The car swerved sharply, and my side of the tonneau seemed to settle down. I was sure that an invisible person must have shot at us, and wished sincerely that the Prince would drive on instead of slacking pace. But he stopped the engine, exclaiming in an angry voice, "A tyre burst! Thousand furies, why couldn't it have waited twenty minutes more?"
The car swerved suddenly, and my side of the bed seemed to drop down. I was convinced that an unseen person had shot at us and I really wished the Prince would keep driving instead of slowing down. But he turned off the engine, shouting angrily, "A tire blew! A thousand curses, why couldn't it have waited twenty more minutes?"
"Is it serious?" I asked; for we had never had this experience before, on any of the rough roads we had travelled.
"Is it serious?" I asked, since we had never faced this situation before on any of the tough roads we had traveled.
"No," he answered shortly, "not serious, but annoying. We can crawl on for a little way. I was a fool to stop the motor; did it without thinking. Now I shall have the trouble of starting again."
"No," he replied briefly, "not serious, just annoying. We can keep going for a little while. I was an idiot to turn off the engine; I did it without thinking. Now I have the hassle of starting it up again."
Grumbling thus, he got out; but the motor wouldn't start. The engine was as sullenly silent as Aunt Kathryn. For ten minutes, perhaps, the Prince tried this device and that—no doubt missing Joseph; but at last he gave up in despair. "It is no use," he groaned. "I am spending myself for nothing. If you will sit quietly here for a few moments, I will go ahead to that house where the light is, to see if I can get you ladies taken in, and the car hauled into a place where I can work at it."
Grumbling like that, he got out, but the car wouldn't start. The engine was as unresponsive as Aunt Kathryn. For about ten minutes, the Prince tried various tricks—no doubt wishing for Joseph—but eventually he gave up in frustration. "It's useless," he sighed. "I'm exhausting myself for no reason. If you ladies can sit quietly here for a few minutes, I’ll head over to that house with the light to see if I can arrange for you to stay there and get the car to a place where I can fix it."
"What language do they speak here?" I asked, a chill of desolation upon me.
"What language do they speak here?" I asked, feeling a wave of loneliness wash over me.
"Slavic," he answered. "But I can talk it a little. I shall get on, and you will see me again almost at once."
"Slavic," he replied. "But I can speak it a bit. I’ll manage, and you’ll see me again pretty soon."
So saying, he was off, and I was alone with the statue of Aunt Kathryn.
So saying, he left, and I was alone with Aunt Kathryn's statue.
At first I thought that, whatever happened, I wouldn't be the one to begin a conversation, but the silence and deepening darkness were too much for my nerves. "Oh, Aunt Kathryn, don't let's be cross to each other any longer," I pleaded. "I'm tired of it, aren't you? And oh, what wouldn't I give to be back in sweet Ragusa with Beechy and—and the others!"
At first, I thought that no matter what happened, I wouldn't be the one to start a conversation, but the silence and growing darkness were too much for me. "Oh, Aunt Kathryn, let's not be upset with each other anymore," I begged. "I'm tired of it, aren't you? And oh, what wouldn't I give to be back in lovely Ragusa with Beechy and—and everyone else!"
Still not a word. It seemed incredible that she could bear malice so; but there was no cure for it. If she would not be softened by that plea of mine, nothing I could say would melt her. I [Pg 297] should have liked to cry, for it was so lonely here, and so dreadful to be estranged from one's only friend. But that would have been too childish, and I took what comfort I could from Airole's tiny presence.
Still not a word. It seemed unbelievable that she could hold such a grudge; but there was no way to change that. If my plea couldn’t get through to her, nothing I said would make a difference. I [Pg 297] wanted to cry because it was so lonely here, and it felt awful to be distanced from my only friend. But that would have been too childish, so I found whatever comfort I could in Airole's small presence.
A quarter of an hour passed, perhaps, and then the Prince came back accompanied by a man so huge that the tall Austrian seemed a boy beside him. They looked at the car, communicating by gestures, and then the Prince said, if we would walk to the house the woman there would receive us, while he and his companion pushed the automobile into a shed which the man had.
A quarter of an hour went by, maybe, and then the Prince returned with a guy so massive that the tall Austrian looked like a kid next to him. They examined the car, communicating with hand signals, and then the Prince said that if we walked to the house, the woman there would welcome us, while he and his companion wheeled the car into a shed that the guy had.
I made no further attempt to extract a relenting word from Aunt Kathryn, as we tramped side by side along the road. Reaching a two-storied stone box of a house, she dropped behind at the doorway, leaving me to confront a hard-faced woman in a white jacket, with a graceful head-dress half-hiding her black hair. In one hand she had a partly finished stocking with knitting-needles in it; in the other she held a candle in a quaintly made iron candlestick. Something she said to us in a strange, but rather soft-sounding language, of which I couldn't understand one syllable; but seeing my hopelessly blank expression she smiled, nodded, and motioned us to cross the threshold.
I didn't try to get any more words out of Aunt Kathryn as we walked side by side down the road. When we reached a two-story stone house, she fell back at the doorway, leaving me to face a stern-looking woman in a white jacket, with a stylish headscarf partially concealing her black hair. In one hand, she held a partially finished stocking with knitting needles in it; in the other, she carried a candle in a uniquely designed iron candlestick. She spoke to us in a strange but quite gentle-sounding language that I couldn't understand at all. Seeing my completely confused expression, she smiled, nodded, and gestured for us to come inside.
The room was bare, with a floor of pounded earth. There was a wooden table in it, a few shelves, and a long bench; but beyond was a more attractive interior, for in an inner apartment she had lighted a fire of sticks on a rude hearth.
The room was empty, with a floor made of packed dirt. There was a wooden table, a few shelves, and a long bench; but inside it was more appealing, as she had lit a fire with sticks on a rough hearth in an inner room.
I stood aside to let Aunt Kathryn pass in before me, which she did without a word. We both stood before the fire, holding out gloved hands to the meagre blaze, while little Airole ran about, whimpering and examining everything with unconcealed disapproval.
I stepped aside to let Aunt Kathryn go in front of me, and she did so without saying anything. We both stood in front of the fire, extending our gloved hands to the small fire, while little Airole ran around, whining and looking at everything with clear disapproval.
I had just time to notice how oddly shabby Aunt Kathryn's gloves were, and to wonder if she didn't intend to take off the "mushroom" (the talc window of which the firelight transformed into a pane of red glass), when Prince Dalmar-Kalm appeared. Without asking permission he walked in, and looking at Aunt [Pg 298] Kathryn, said in French, "You may go, Victorine."
I just had a moment to notice how oddly worn Aunt Kathryn's gloves were and to wonder if she planned to take off the "mushroom" (the talc window of which the firelight turned into a pane of red glass) when Prince Dalmar-Kalm showed up. Without asking for permission, he walked in, looked at Aunt Kathryn, and said in French, "You may go, Victorine."
I stared, as bewildered as if the unfamiliar scene were turning to a dream; but as the cloaked and mushroomed figure reached the door, the spell broke.
I gaped, just as confused as if the strange scene were transforming into a dream; but when the cloaked and mushroom-shaped figure got to the door, the enchantment shattered.
I took a step after it, exclaiming, "Aunt Kathryn—Kittie!"
I took a step after it, shouting, "Aunt Kathryn—Kittie!"
The door shut almost in my face. "That is not your Aunt Kathryn," said the Prince, in a voice which, though low, vibrated with excitement. "It is one of the Contessa Corramini's servants, chosen to play this part because her figure is enough like your aunt's to resemble it closely in a motor-coat. All that is of your aunt is that coat, the hat, the mask of silk. You must hear the truth now, for it is time, and know what you have to face."
The door almost closed in my face. "That’s not your Aunt Kathryn," the Prince said, his voice low but filled with excitement. "It’s one of Contessa Corramini’s servants, picked for this role because her figure is similar enough to your aunt’s to look like her in a motor-coat. The only things that belong to your aunt are that coat, the hat, and the silk mask. You need to hear the truth now, because it's time, and understand what you have to confront."
"I don't understand you," I stammered weakly. It was more than ever as if I were in a dream. I actually told myself that I would wake up in bed at the Hotel Imperial in Ragusa. And oh, how I wished that I would wake soon!
"I don't get you," I stammered weakly. It felt even more like I was in a dream. I actually told myself that I would wake up in bed at the Hotel Imperial in Ragusa. And oh, how I wished I would wake up soon!
"I will make you understand," went on the Prince. "You know—you've known for many days—how I love you. You have forced me to do this thing, because you were obstinate, and would not give me yourself, though I could not live without you. Because I could not, I have done this. It was planned as long ago as Venice. I confided all to Corramini, though not to his wife, and he promised to help me because he is in money difficulties, and I agreed to do something for him. But if you had been kind last night in Ragusa, when I gave you one more chance to repent, you might have been spared this. It was only to happen if all else failed."
"I will make you understand," the Prince continued. "You know—you've known for a while—how much I love you. You've pushed me to do this because you were stubborn and wouldn't give yourself to me, even though I can't live without you. Since I couldn't, I've gone through with it. I planned this all the way back in Venice. I confided in Corradini, but not his wife, and he agreed to help me because he's having money issues, and I said I'd do something for him in return. But if you had been nice last night in Ragusa when I gave you one last chance to change your mind, you could have avoided this. It only had to happen if everything else failed."
"Still I don't understand," I said slowly.
"Still, I don't understand," I said slowly.
"Then your brain is not as quick as usual, my dear one. I hoped Miss Beechy would be ill to-day, for she was the one I feared. There was a little medicine in that pink, Turkish stuff—not to hurt her much, but enough for my purpose. If I could, I would have got rid of the aunt, too; only she was needed as the cat's-paw. You would never have come without her. Contessa Corramini knows nothing of this, though she has a suspicion that [Pg 299] something mysterious goes on. She was not on the 'Arethusa.' At this moment she is in Venice. Victorine was the one woman beside yourself and the aunt on the yacht, and Victorine has been well paid for the part she plays. She took the aunt's coat and hat and mask out of the cabin, when the lady was on deck with Corramini and me, wrapped in a becoming blue cloak with a hood, left on board by Contessa Corramini. While the aunt was looking everywhere for her missing things, you joined the masked lady in the car. Now, we are farther from Schloss Hrvoya than from Cattaro. You are in Montenegro, where I have brought you because the Austrian Consul is my friend, and he will marry us."
"Then your brain isn’t as sharp as usual, my dear. I was hoping Miss Beechy would be sick today because she was the one I worried about. There was a little medicine in that pink Turkish stuff—not enough to harm her, but just enough for my plan. If I could, I would have gotten rid of the aunt too; she was just needed as a means to an end. You would never have come without her. Contessa Corramini has no idea about this, although she suspects that something mysterious is happening. She wasn’t on the 'Arethusa.' Right now, she’s in Venice. Victorine was the only woman besides you and the aunt on the yacht, and Victorine has been well compensated for her role. She took the aunt’s coat, hat, and mask out of the cabin while the lady was on deck with Corramini and me, wrapped in a flattering blue cloak with a hood, which was left on board by Contessa Corramini. While the aunt was searching for her missing things, you joined the masked lady in the car. Now, we’re farther from Schloss Hrvoya than from Cattaro. You’re in Montenegro, where I brought you because the Austrian Consul is my friend, and he will marry us."
"He will not!" I cried, choking and breathless.
"He won't!" I shouted, gasping for air.
"He must. It is the only thing for you, now. Let me show you the situation, in case you do not yet understand all. Your aunt is far away. She will be enraged with you, and believe you to blame for the humiliating trick played on her. Never will she forgive you. If there is a scandal, she will do her best to spread it. I know women well. Don't you remember, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?' There will be others, too. Victorine will tell a dramatic tale to the Contessa Corramini, and Corramini will gossip at his clubs in Venice, Rome, Florence, Paris, where many of your rich compatriots are members. The rights of the story will never quite be known, but it will leak out that you came to Montenegro with me alone, and spent many hours. The only safeguard is to make it an elopement, and that safeguard I offer you, with my heart and all that is mine. You must leave this place as the Princess Dalmar-Kalm, or it would be better for your future that you should never leave it. See, I am the last man in your world now, and it is necessary that you take me."
"He must. It's the only option for you now. Let me explain the situation in case you still don’t fully get it. Your aunt is far away. She will be furious with you and will think you’re to blame for the embarrassing trick that was played on her. She’ll never forgive you. If there’s a scandal, she’ll do everything she can to spread it. I know women well. Don't you remember, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?' There will be others, too. Victorine will tell a dramatic story to Contessa Corramini, and Corramini will gossip about it at his clubs in Venice, Rome, Florence, and Paris, where many of your wealthy peers are members. The real details of the story will never be fully known, but it will get out that you came to Montenegro alone with me and spent many hours together. The only way to protect yourself is to make it an elopement, and that’s what I offer you, with my heart and everything I have. You have to leave this place as Princess Dalmar-Kalm, or it would be better for your future if you never leave at all. See, I am the last man in your world now, and it’s crucial that you take me."
"I didn't know," I answered in the dream, "that men like you existed out of novels or stage plays. That is why I failed to understand at first. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. But I understand now. Let me go—"
"I didn't know," I replied in the dream, "that guys like you existed outside of novels or plays. That's why I didn't get it at first. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I get it now. Let me go—"
He laughed. "No! And if I did, what good would it do you? It is night; you are many miles from anywhere, in the wildest mountains [Pg 300]of Europe. You do not speak one word of the language, or any one in this land a word of yours. Practically, you are alone in the world with me. Even your wretched little dog is not here to snarl. His curiosity took him outside, and he cannot get back through the keyhole of the door, small as he is. Presently the Consul will be at this house. I had meant to go to his had it not been for the accident, but I will send for him. He is my very good friend. He will do what I ask."
He laughed. "No! And even if I did, what good would it do for you? It's night; you're many miles away from anywhere, in the wildest mountains [Pg 300]of Europe. You don't speak a word of the language, and no one here understands yours. Basically, you're alone in the world with me. Even your pathetic little dog isn't here to bark. His curiosity led him outside, and he can't get back through the keyhole of the door, small as he is. Soon, the Consul will be at this house. I had planned to go to his place had it not been for the accident, but I'll send for him. He's a very good friend of mine. He'll do what I ask."
"But if I do not consent?" I flung at him.
"But what if I don't agree?" I shot back at him.
"You will have to consent," he said; "and soon you will see [Pg 301] that for yourself."
"You'll need to agree," he said; "and soon you’ll see [Pg 301] that for yourself."
PART V
TOLD BY TERENCE BARRYMORE
XXV
A CHAPTER OF CHASING
I wondered why the ladies didn't come to lunch, for the last thing they had said when we brought them back in the motor was, "We shall see you again at half-past twelve."
I wondered why the ladies didn’t come to lunch, since the last thing they said when we brought them back in the car was, “We’ll see you again at twelve-thirty.”
Ralph and Bari and his sister and I, waited for a quarter of an hour; then we sat down, for the Signorina thought they might have changed their minds and be lunching with the little invalid. But at half-past one, while we were still at the table, a message came from Miss Beechy. She had waked up from her nap, "sent her compliments," and would be glad to know when her Mamma and cousin would return to her.
Ralph, Bari, his sister, and I waited for fifteen minutes; then we sat down because the Signorina thought they might have changed their minds and were having lunch with the little invalid. But at 1:30, while we were still at the table, a message came from Miss Beechy. She had woken up from her nap, "sent her compliments," and wanted to know when her mom and cousin would be back with her.
That took the Signorina flying to the bedroom, and there was an interval of some suspense for Ralph and me; for the absence of the ladies, with this new light thrown upon it, began to appear a little strange.
That made the Signorina rush to the bedroom, leaving Ralph and me in a bit of suspense; the ladies' absence, with this new perspective on it, started to feel a bit odd.
The Italian girl was away for an age, it seemed, and we knew the instant we saw her, that she was not the bearer of reassuring news. Her pretty face looked worried and excited.
The Italian girl was gone for what felt like forever, and we knew as soon as we saw her that she didn't have any good news. Her beautiful face looked anxious and stirred up.
"The Countess and Miss Destrey have not been up-stairs," she announced in her native tongue. "The little Bicé has been awake for an hour, wondering why they never came. Will you make inquiries of the landlord?"
"The Countess and Miss Destrey haven't been upstairs," she announced in her native language. "Little Bicé has been awake for an hour, wondering why they haven't come. Can you check with the landlord?"
I lost not a moment in obeying this request; and even before I got my answer, I seemed to know that Dalmar-Kalm would be mixed up in the affair. The ladies had driven away with His Highness in a hired cab not many minutes after we had brought them [Pg 303] to the hotel door with the motor.
I didn't hesitate to follow this request; and even before I got my answer, it felt like I knew that Dalmar-Kalm would be involved in this. The ladies left with His Highness in a rented cab just a few minutes after we dropped them off at the hotel in the car. [Pg 303]
On the face of it, it looked ridiculous to fear mischief, yet I was uneasy. If I had not worshipped Her so much—but then, there had ceased to be any "if" in it long ago. I had very little hope that she could ever be got to care, even if I could reconcile it with common decency to ask a girl to think of a stony-broke beggar like me. But in some moods I was mad to try my luck, when I reflected on what she had before her if I—or some other brute of a man—didn't snatch her from it. But whether or no she were ever to be more to me than a goddess, the bare thought of trouble or harm coming to her was enough to drive me out of my wits.
At first glance, it seemed silly to be afraid of trouble, but I felt uneasy. If I hadn’t adored her so much—but then again, there hadn’t been any “if” about it for a long time. I had very little hope that she would ever care, even if it didn’t conflict with basic decency to ask a girl to think about a broke loser like me. Yet at times, I was crazy enough to test my luck, thinking about what she would face if I—or some other jerk—didn’t rescue her from it. But whether she would ever mean more to me than a goddess, just the thought of something bad happening to her was enough to drive me nuts.
While I was smoking two cigarettes a minute on the verandah, and asking myself whether I should be Paddy the Fool to track her down, with her aunt and the Prince, Signorina Bari (who had run up to Beechy with the latest developments) came out to us. "Sir Ralph," said she, "little Miss Kidder says she must see you, in a great hurry. She has something important to tell, that she can't tell to any one else; so she has got up, and is on the sofa in a dressing-gown, in the Countess's private sitting-room."
While I was smoking two cigarettes a minute on the porch and wondering if I should be a fool to go after her, her aunt and the Prince, Signorina Bari (who had rushed up to Beechy with the latest news), came out to us. "Sir Ralph," she said, "little Miss Kidder insists she needs to see you right away. She has something important to share that she can't tell anyone else, so she's gotten up and is on the sofa in a dressing gown in the Countess's private sitting room."
Ralph looked surprised, but not displeased, and was away twenty minutes.
Ralph looked surprised, but not upset, and was gone for twenty minutes.
"Miss Beechy wants us to find out where Dalmar-Kalm has taken her mother and Miss Destrey," said he, when he returned from the interview.
"Miss Beechy wants us to find out where Dalmar-Kalm has taken her mom and Miss Destrey," he said when he got back from the meeting.
The order was welcome. Nothing was known at the hotel concerning the destination of the Prince and his companions in the cab, so I hurried to get the car, and Ralph and I drove off together, meaning to make inquiries in the town.
The order was appreciated. No one at the hotel knew where the Prince and his friends in the cab were headed, so I rushed to get the car, and Ralph and I drove off together, planning to ask around in town.
"Did Miss Beechy's mysterious communication have anything to do with her cousin? "I couldn't resist asking Ralph, who sat beside me, in that blessed seat sacred so long to the One Woman.
"Did Miss Beechy's mysterious message have anything to do with her cousin?" I couldn't help but ask Ralph, who sat next to me in that beloved spot that had long been sacred to the One Woman.
"Yes, it had," he replied discreetly.
"Yeah, it had," he replied quietly.
"And with Dalmar-Kalm?"
"And what about Dalmar-Kalm?"
[Pg 304] "Distinctly with Dalmar-Kalm."
"Clearly with Dalmar-Kalm."
That sent some blood up behind my eyes, and I saw Ragusa red, instead of pink.
That made my eyes feel hot, and I saw Ragusa in red instead of pink.
"By Jove, you've got to tell me what she did say, now!" I exclaimed.
"Seriously, you have to tell me what she said, now!" I exclaimed.
"Can't, my dear chap. It's a promise—after a confidence. But I don't mind letting out this much. It seems Miss Beechy has been playing dolls with us, as she calls it, on this trip, without any of us suspecting it—or at least seeing the game in its full extent. Owing to her manipulation of her puppets, there's the dickens to pay, and she thinks she has reason to know that Dalmar-Kalm had better not be allowed to take a long excursion with Miss Destrey, even chaperoned by our dear, wise Countess."
"Can't do it, my friend. It's a promise—after a trust was built. But I'm okay with sharing this much. It looks like Miss Beechy has been playing games with us, as she puts it, on this trip, without any of us realizing it—or at least not seeing the whole picture. Because of her manipulation of the situation, there's going to be trouble, and she thinks she has a good reason to believe that Dalmar-Kalm should not be allowed to take a long trip with Miss Destrey, even if our dear, wise Countess is chaperoning."
"Good Heavens!" I jerked out. "What do you mean?"
"Good heavens!" I exclaimed. "What do you mean?"
"I don't exactly know myself. Things mayn't be as serious as the little girl thinks in her present remorseful mood, no doubt intensified by her late illness. 'When the devil was sick, the devil a monk would be,' you know—and the rest of it. Still, we're safe in finding out where the party has gone and taking steps accordingly."
"I don't really know myself. Things might not be as serious as the little girl thinks in her current guilty mood, probably made worse by her recent illness. 'When the devil was sick, the devil a monk would be,' you know—and the rest of it. Still, we're safe in figuring out where the party has gone and taking action accordingly."
"There's Joseph, mooning about with his hands in his pockets, like a lost soul," I exclaimed.
"There's Joseph, wandering around with his hands in his pockets, like a lost soul," I said.
"Have lost souls pockets?"
"Do lost souls have pockets?"
"Shut up. I'm going to catechize him. He rather likes me, and has several times relieved his mind on the subject of his master, by spitting venom to his brother chauffeur until I refused to listen."
"Shut up. I’m going to question him. He actually likes me and has vented about his boss several times, sharing his frustrations with his fellow chauffeur until I told him to stop."
With this I stopped the car in front of the gaudy shop which had attracted the dismal little Joseph.
With this, I parked the car in front of the flashy shop that had drawn the gloomy little Joseph.
"Is your car mended already?" I asked him in French.
"Is your car fixed yet?" I asked him in French.
"It was not broken, Monsieur."
"It wasn't broken, Monsieur."
"Really. I understood the Prince to say it was."
"Really. I understood the Prince to say it was."
"I know not what he said. Is there anything that His Highness would not say, if it pleased him? But so far from the car being injured, I was kept up most of the night by his command, putting it in the best order, looking to every nut, seeing that the grease-cups [Pg 305] were filled, and everything as fine as though to try for first prize in a show. This morning did I get a moment's sleep? On the contrary, I must drive the automobile at eight o'clock, before any one was up, down to the harbour, and with much trouble put it on the yacht of the Conte Corramini, which had come into this port, the saints alone know why."
"I don't know what he said. Is there anything that His Highness wouldn’t say if it suited him? But far from the car being damaged, I was kept up most of the night under his orders, getting it into the best shape possible, checking every nut, making sure the grease cups [Pg 305] were filled, and ensuring everything was perfect as if I were preparing for a first-place prize at a show. Did I get a moment of sleep this morning? On the contrary, I had to drive the car at eight o'clock, before anyone was awake, down to the harbor, and with a lot of trouble managed to load it onto the conte Corramini's yacht, which had come into this port for reasons only the saints know."
"I should say the saints had little to do with the affair," remarked Ralph, but I cut him short.
"I should say the saints didn't have much to do with this," Ralph said, but I interrupted him.
"What then?" I asked.
"What now?" I asked.
"Then it must be covered up, His Highness said, in case of rain—though the sky was as dry as my throat—till you could not tell the automobile from a haystack, on the forward deck where it had been placed."
"Then it needs to be covered up, His Highness said, in case it rains—though the sky was as clear as my dry throat—until you couldn't tell the car from a haystack on the front deck where it had been put."
"And after that?"
"And then what?"
"After that I know nothing, except that His Highness condescended to remark that he would go away for a trip to-day, and I was to wait for him until I heard further. That will be soon, for when it comes to real work on the car it breaks his heart. He can drive, but apart from that he knows no more of the automobile than does the little black dog adopted by the beautiful mademoiselle."
"After that, I have no idea what happened, except that His Highness casually mentioned he would be going on a trip today and that I should wait for him until I hear more. That won't be long, because when it comes to actually working on the car, it really upsets him. He can drive, but other than that, he knows just as much about the car as the little black dog adopted by the beautiful mademoiselle."
"I suppose you'll get a wire to-morrow at latest," said I. "Well, au revoir. We're turning here."
"I guess you'll get a message tomorrow at the latest," I said. "Well, see you later. We're turning here."
"Going to the harbour?" Ralph asked, dryly, and I nodded.
"Heading to the harbor?" Ralph asked, flatly, and I nodded.
I am afraid that we did the mile to Gravosa in a good deal less than the legal limit, but luckily no one was the worse for it, and there were no policemen about.
I’m afraid we covered the mile to Gravosa in quite a bit less than the legal limit, but thankfully no one was harmed, and there weren’t any police around.
At Gravosa we found some men on the quay who could talk Italian, and in five minutes I knew for certain what I had suspected. A white yacht answering the description I gave of "Arethusa," had sent a boat before noon to meet a cab bringing to the port two ladies and a gentleman. The Signore were in long brownish coats and close hats. One was stout, with much colour; the other, a young girl, transcendently beautiful.
At Gravosa, we found some men at the dock who could speak Italian, and within five minutes, I confirmed what I had suspected. A white yacht matching the description I gave for "Arethusa" had sent a boat before noon to meet a cab bringing two ladies and a gentleman to the port. The gentlemen were wearing long brown coats and fitted hats. One was heavyset and flushed; the other, a young girl, was incredibly beautiful.
"That impudent fellow has whisked them off to Cattaro, to [Pg 306] see his beastly ancestral ruin," suggested Ralph. "That's what he's done. He's probably chuckling now with savage glee to think that willy-nilly Countess Kidder-Dalmar can't get out of her bargain."
"That arrogant guy has taken them off to Cattaro to see his awful ancestral ruin," Ralph suggested. "That's exactly what he's done. He's probably laughing now with cruel delight, knowing that Countess Kidder-Dalmar can't back out of her deal."
"I don't believe they would willingly have left the little girl lying there ill, to say nothing of leaving us in the lurch without a word," said I. "Ralph, there's something pretty devilish under this, or I'll eat my hat."
"I can't believe they would have just left the little girl lying there sick, not to mention abandoning us without a word," I said. "Ralph, there's something seriously suspicious going on here, or I'll eat my hat."
"Well, I should expect to see you devouring it, if—I hadn't heard Beechy's confess—if she hadn't told me some things," Ralph amended his sentence.
"Well, I should expect to see you enjoying it, if—I hadn't heard Beechy confess—if she hadn't shared some things with me," Ralph changed his sentence.
"I'm hanged if I won't give chase!" I exclaimed.
"I'm determined to give chase!" I exclaimed.
"How can you? You were saying at lunch that so far as you'd been able to fog it out, there wasn't more than the ghost of a road after Castelnuovo on to Cattaro; and it's to Cattaro one must go for the ancestral ruin."
"How can you? You were saying at lunch that from what you could tell, there wasn’t much of a road after Castelnuovo leading to Cattaro; and it’s to Cattaro that one must go for the family ruins."
"If there's a ghost of a road, it will do for me and this motor," I said. "What does it matter if we're both smashed, if only we get there first?"
"If there's a barely-there road, that's good enough for me and this car," I said. "Who cares if we both end up wrecked, as long as we get there first?"
"Men and motors don't get far when they're smashed. You'll have to wait till to-morrow morning, when we can all go flying down by the Austrian Lloyd, if the truants don't turn up in the meantime."
"Guys and cars don’t get very far when they’re wrecked. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning, when we can all head down by the Austrian Lloyd, unless the runaways show up before then."
"Wait till to-morrow morning? My name isn't Terence Barrymore if I do that, or if I wait one minute longer than it will take me to go back where I came, and load up with petrol enough to see me through this job for good or evil."
"Wait until tomorrow morning? My name isn't Terence Barrymore if I do that, or if I wait one minute longer than it takes me to go back where I came from and fill up with enough gas to get me through this job, for better or worse."
"You'll start off at once, without finding out any more—and road or no road?"
"You'll head out right away, without knowing anything more—and is there a road or not?"
"There's no more to find out this side of Cattaro, unless I'm far out of my reckoning; and if there's no road after Castelnuovo, I'll—I'll get through somehow, never fear."
"There's nothing more to discover this side of Cattaro, unless I've completely lost track; and if there's no road after Castelnuovo, I'll—I'll figure it out somehow, don't worry."
"I don't fear much, when you set your jaw that way, my son. I suppose you'll just give me time to make my will, and—er—say good-bye to Miss Beechy?"
"I don’t really fear much when you set your jaw like that, my son. I guess you’ll just give me time to write my will and—uh—say goodbye to Miss Beechy?"
[Pg 307] "You're not going, Ralph. I must travel light, for speed; I don't want an unnecessary ounce of weight on board that car to-day, for she's got to show her paces as she never did before. You must stop behind, and instead of saying good-bye, try to cheer Miss Beechy."
[Pg 307] "You're not coming, Ralph. I need to travel light for speed; I don’t want any extra weight in that car today, because it has to perform better than ever. You have to stay behind, and instead of saying goodbye, try to cheer up Miss Beechy."
"Well, needs must, when somebody drives," mumbled Ralph. But he did not look very dismal.
"Well, it is what it is when someone is in charge," mumbled Ralph. But he didn't seem very down about it.
I made no preparations, save to fill up with petrol and put all the spare bidons sent by the Austrian Lloyd in the tonneau. I was in flannels, as the day was not to be a motoring day, and I wouldn't have delayed even long enough to fetch my big coat, if I hadn't suddenly thought that I might be glad of it for Her. Ralph saw me off, making me promise to wire from Cattaro—if I ever got there!—as soon as there was news for Beechy of her mother and cousin.
I made no preparations, except to fill up with gas and put all the spare containers sent by the Austrian Lloyd in the trunk. I was wearing flannel, since it wasn't supposed to be a driving day, and I wouldn’t have paused even long enough to grab my big coat if I hadn’t suddenly realized I might need it for her. Ralph saw me off, making me promise to text from Cattaro—if I ever got there!—as soon as I had news for Beechy about her mom and cousin.
Once out on the open road I gave the old car her head, and she bounded along like an India rubber ball, curtseying to undulations, spinning round curves along the sea coast, and past quaint old towns which I thought of only as obstacles.
Once I was on the open road, I let the old car go free, and she bounced along like a rubber ball, curving over hills, sweeping around bends by the coast, and passing charming old towns that I saw only as things in my way.
Often when you wish your car to show what she can do, she puts on the air of a spoiled child and shames you. But to-day it was as if the motor knew what I wanted, and was straining every nerve to help me get it. In a time that was short even to my impatience, she and I did the thirty-odd miles to Castelnuovo. A few questions there as to the feasibility of trying to reach Cattaro by road, brought no information definite enough to make the experiment worth the risk of failure. At best there would be many rough miles to cover, in rounding the numerous arms of that great starfish, the Bocche di Cattaro, and no boat of the Austrian Lloyd or Hungarian Croatian lines was available to-day, even if shipping the motor in that way wouldn't have involved endless red tape, delay and bother. Nevertheless, with a simmering inspiration in my mind, I steered the car down a narrow road that led to the harbour, a crowd pattering after me which, no doubt, was very picturesque if I had been in the mood to observe [Pg 308]it. But my eyes were open for one thing only, and at the port under the high walls of the fortresses that leap to the sky, I knew that I had found it.
Often when you want your car to show off what she can do, she acts like a spoiled child and makes you feel embarrassed. But today it seemed like the engine understood what I needed and was pushing itself to help me get it. In a time that felt too short even for my impatience, we covered the thirty-odd miles to Castelnuovo. A few inquiries there about whether it was possible to get to Cattaro by road brought no clear information that made the attempt worth the risk of failure. At best, there would be a lot of rough miles to navigate around the many arms of that great starfish, the Bocche di Cattaro, and no boat from the Austrian Lloyd or Hungarian Croatian lines was available today, even if shipping the car that way wouldn’t have meant dealing with endless red tape, delays, and hassle. Still, with a spark of inspiration in my mind, I turned the car down a narrow road leading to the harbor, a crowd following me that, no doubt, looked very picturesque if I had been in the mood to notice it. But my eyes were searching for one thing only, and at the port, under the high walls of the fortresses that shot up to the sky, I knew I had found it.
A good-sized fishing boat with a painted sail aflap against the mast, lay alongside the quay. Beside it stood gossiping two fine sailor-men, heroically tall, with features cut in bronze. At the thrum of the motor and clatter of the crowd they turned to stare, and I drove straight at them, but in order not to give them a fright stopped short a good five yards away.
A decent-sized fishing boat with a colorful sail flapping against the mast was docked by the quay. Next to it, two striking sailors were chatting, both impressively tall, with faces that looked like they were sculpted from bronze. At the sound of the motor and the noise of the crowd, they turned to look, and I went straight toward them, but to avoid scaring them, I stopped about five yards away.
The proud men of these parts are not easily scared, and all that these two did was to take their black pipes out of their mouths. Not a word of Slavic have I to bless myself with, but I tumbled out Italian sentences, and they understood, as I was pretty sure they would. What I asked was, would they take me and my motor in their boat, immediately, on the instant, to Cattaro? One grinned; the other shook his head; but he hadn't wagged it from left to right before I pulled a handful of Austrian gold and silver out of my pockets, which were luckily well-filled with the hard-earned money of my chauffeurhood.
The proud men from this area aren't easily frightened, and all these two did was take their black pipes out of their mouths. I don't know any Slavic to bless myself with, but I managed to throw out some Italian sentences, and they understood, which I was pretty sure they would. What I asked was if they could take me and my motorcycle in their boat, right away, without any delay, to Cattaro? One smiled; the other shook his head; but he barely moved it from side to side before I pulled out a handful of Austrian gold and silver from my pockets, which were luckily well-stocked with the hard-earned money from my time as a chauffeur.
The man who had grinned, grinned wider; the man who had shaken his head did not shake it again. I bargained just enough to please them with the notion that they were plucking me; and five minutes later we three were hauling a few planks scattered on the quay, to form a gangway to the boat.
The man who had smiled, smiled even wider; the man who had shaken his head didn’t shake it again. I negotiated just enough to keep them satisfied with the idea that they were getting the better of me; and five minutes later, the three of us were dragging some planks scattered on the dock to create a gangway to the boat.
As for the fascinated crowd, not a man Jack of them but was at my service, after the display of coin which no bright eye had missed. In no time we had our gangway laid on to the gunwale, and a couple of sloping planks to roll the motor on board. The next thing was for me to jump into the car and begin to drive gently ahead, directing the sailors with nods and becks to steady her by grasping the spokes of her wheels. Thus we got her into the boat, none the worse for the ordeal; then, picking up a rope, I was about to make her fast when professional spirit woke in my two hosts, and taking the rope from me they lashed the car as none but seamen can.
For the fascinated crowd, not a single one of them was unwilling to help me after the show of coins that no bright eye had missed. In no time, we had our gangway set up on the gunwale, along with a couple of sloping planks to roll the motor on board. The next step was for me to jump into the car and start driving gently ahead, signaling to the sailors with nods and gestures to hold it steady by gripping the spokes of the wheels. We managed to get it into the boat without any issues; then, as I picked up a rope to secure it, my two hosts' professional instincts kicked in, and they took the rope from me to tie down the car like only skilled sailors can.
[Pg 309] While one stalwart fellow poled the boat off from the quay, his mate hoisted the yard that carried the triangular sail. A following wind, which had been detestable on the dusty road, gave us good speed on our errand; the broad-bowed old boat made creaking progress, a shower of silver foam hissing from her cutwater.
[Pg 309] While one strong guy pushed the boat away from the dock, his friend pulled up the yard that held the triangle-shaped sail. A wind that had been terrible on the dusty road now helped us speed along on our mission; the old boat with its wide bow creaked along, sending up a spray of silver foam from its front.
My furious energy had been contagious, and perhaps, seeing my desire for haste, the fishers hoped to earn something further from the madman's gratitude. All they could do to urge their craft they did.
My intense energy was infectious, and maybe, noticing my urgency, the fishermen thought they could gain something more from the madman's gratitude. They did everything they could to speed up their work.
In other circumstances—say with Her by my side—I should have been filled with enthusiasm for the Bocche di Cattaro and its scenery, for never had I seen anything quite like it; but now I grudged each screen of rock that stopped the breeze, each winding of the water.
In other situations—like if she were with me—I would have been excited about the Bocche di Cattaro and its landscape, because I had never seen anything like it before; but now I resented each rock that blocked the breeze, each twist of the water.
From the narrow opening where the Adriatic rushes into Cattaro at the hidden end of the great sheet of lakes, can't be more than fifteen miles as the crow flies; but so does the course twist that it is much longer for mere wingless things, going by water. How I wished for a motor-boat! But we did not do badly in the big fishing smack. I feared at last that in the straits the wind might die, but instead it blew as through a funnel. We were swept finely up the narrow channel, and so into the last lake with Cattaro and its high fort at the end of it; and my heart gave a bound as I saw "Arethusa" lying anchored at the quay.
From the narrow gap where the Adriatic flows into Cattaro at the hidden end of the huge lakes, it’s barely fifteen miles as the crow flies; but the twists and turns make it much longer for anything that can’t fly, like boats. I really wished for a motorboat! But we did pretty well in the big fishing boat. I started to worry that the wind would die down in the straits, but instead it blew like it was coming through a funnel. We were swept smoothly up the narrow channel and into the last lake with Cattaro and its high fortress at the end; and my heart raced when I saw the "Arethusa" anchored at the dock.
We had more trouble in landing the motor than in getting her aboard, but the thing was done at last; more coins changed hands, and there was the car on shore with another crowd round her. I engaged one of my bronzed fishermen to stand guard lest mischief should be done, and stalked off to the yacht; but before I reached her I was met by Corramini himself, all smiles and graciousness.
We had more trouble getting the motor off than we did getting it on board, but we finally managed it; money exchanged hands again, and there was the car on the shore with another crowd gathered around it. I asked one of my tanned fishermen to stand guard to prevent any trouble, then headed back to the yacht; but before I got there, I was greeted by Corramini himself, smiling and being all friendly.
"I heard your motor," said he, "and guessed your mission. You have come, of course, to see the ladies?"
"I heard your engine," he said, "and figured out your purpose. You've come, of course, to see the ladies?"
"Yes," said I, not troubling to waste words on him. "Miss Kidder is anxious."
"Yeah," I said, not bothering to waste my breath on him. "Miss Kidder is worried."
[Pg 310] "Ah, then did they not leave word? I suppose there wasn't time, as I understand the excursion was planned in a hurry. I don't know the details. It has only been my duty, as my pleasure, to act as host. Dalmar-Kalm desired to show the ladies Schloss Hrvoya, and brought his automobile on board for that purpose. He started almost as soon as we arrived here, well before five o'clock, and should have been back some time ago, according to his calculation. But I suppose it was a temptation to linger, or else there has been trouble with the motor. Unfortunately the chauffeur was left at Ragusa, as my friend is inclined to be a little vain of his driving. But I doubt his powers as an engineer, and have been somewhat anxious for the past half hour."
[Pg 310] "Ah, so they didn’t leave a message? I guess there wasn’t time since the trip was planned in a rush. I don’t know the details. It has only been my duty, and my pleasure, to act as the host. Dalmar-Kalm wanted to show the ladies Schloss Hrvoya and brought his car on board for that. He left almost as soon as we got here, well before five o’clock, and he should have been back by now, according to his plan. But I guess he was tempted to hang around longer, or there might have been car trouble. Unfortunately, the driver was left at Ragusa since my friend likes to show off his driving skills. But I question his engineering abilities and have been a bit worried for the last half hour."
"It is after seven o'clock," I said.
"It’s after seven o'clock," I said.
"Yes. I was dining when I heard your motor. I would ask you on board to have something, but I see by your face that you have it in mind to run to the rescue; and perhaps it would be kind as well as wise. Do you know how to reach Schloss Hrvoya?"
"Yes. I was having dinner when I heard your engine. I would invite you on board for a drink, but I can tell from your expression that you’re planning to head out for a rescue; and maybe that’s both considerate and smart. Do you know how to get to Schloss Hrvoya?"
"I have seen it on the map," I replied, "and can easily find it, no doubt, by inquiries."
"I saw it on the map," I replied, "and I can definitely find it with some questions."
"Or you may meet the other automobile en route. Well, your coming is a relief to my mind. I shall be glad to hear on your return that all is well."
"Or you might run into the other car on the way. Honestly, your arrival puts my mind at ease. I’ll be happy to hear when you get back that everything is fine."
"Thanks," said I rather stiffly, for the man's personality was repellent to me, and in Venice I'd heard some stories, not very nice ones, concerning his career. He is of good family, is tolerated by society for his dead father's sake and his wife's, but once or twice a crash has nearly come, so the whisper runs about the clubs.
"Thanks," I said a bit stiffly, since I found the guy's personality off-putting, and I'd heard some not-so-great stories about his past while in Venice. He comes from a good family and is accepted by society because of his deceased father and his wife, but there have been a couple of close calls, or so the rumors go around the clubs.
Not trusting his fluent affability, I hesitated whether to believe him and start, or to say I would accept his suggestion to go on board, in order that I might have a look round "Arethusa" before committing myself to anything. As I stood in doubt I was hailed from the deck of the yacht, and there, to my surprise, stood our Countess, showing dishevelment even in the distance and twilight.
Not trusting his smooth charm, I hesitated about whether to believe him and go ahead, or to say I’d take his suggestion to board the "Arethusa" so I could take a look around before making any decisions. As I stood there unsure, I was called from the deck of the yacht, and there, to my surprise, stood our Countess, looking messy even from afar in the fading light.
[Pg 311] "Oh, Mr. Terrymore, is that you?" she cried to me.
[Pg 311] "Oh, Mr. Terrymore, is that really you?" she exclaimed to me.
I gave the Corramini a look, as I shouted in reply, but he shrugged his shoulders. "I had no time to mention yet that the Countess was not of the party for Schloss Hrvoya," said he, "for thereby hangs a tale, as your great poet says, and it would have taken too long to tell; but now I suppose she must delay you. It is a pity."
I glanced at the Corramini as I shouted back, but he just shrugged. "I didn’t have a chance to mention that the Countess wasn’t going to Schloss Hrvoya," he said, "because there’s a whole story behind it, as your famous poet says, and it would’ve taken too long to explain; but now I guess she must be holding you up. What a shame."
I had no answer for him. It was clear that, whatever had occurred, it had been his object to deceive me, and hustle me quickly away from the dangerous neighbourhood of the yacht before I could find out that the Countess, at all events, was still on board. But chance had thwarted him, and he was making the best of it with characteristic cleverness, saving his own skin.
I didn't have an answer for him. It was obvious that, whatever had happened, his goal was to trick me and get me out of the dangerous area near the yacht before I discovered that the Countess, in any case, was still on board. But luck had worked against him, and he was making the most of it with his usual cleverness, looking out for himself.
Bareheaded, her wondrous auburn hair disordered, her face blurred with half-dried tears, the poor woman met me half-way, skipping across the gangway on to the now almost deserted quay.
Bareheaded, her beautiful auburn hair messy, her face streaked with half-dried tears, the poor woman approached me, hopping across the gangway onto the now nearly deserted dock.
"Something awful's happened," she gasped.
"Something terrible happened," she gasped.
"What?" I asked, a sudden tightness in my throat
"What?" I asked, feeling a sudden tightness in my throat.
"That's the worst of it. I don't know. And the County doesn't know."
"That's the worst of it. I have no idea. And the County doesn't know either."
"Tell me as well as you can."
"Tell me as much as you can."
"Why, we came here on purpose for the Prince to take me to Slosh Hrvoya. He wanted it so much. Maida had to be along, because it would have made talk if he and I'd come alone; but her being with us wasn't of any importance to him, he told me so himself. Well, when his automobile was landed just where we're standing now, I told Maida to get ready and went to my cabin to get ready myself, but my things were all gone—my hat and coat, and motor-mask and everything. I thought, I could have left them in the sallong, though I was sure I hadn't; but I hurried to look. They weren't there, and I ran back to Maida's door, thinking it just possible, to play me a trick—as she was cross—she might have hidden my things while I was on deck. But she'd gone off and the things were nowhere. At that minute I heard a noise like a motor, and looked out of my porthole, but already it [Pg 312] was out of sight from there, and I got up on deck again only in time to catch sight of the Prince's automobile flashing away at about a mile a minute."
"Well, we came here specifically for the Prince to take me to Slosh Hrvoya. He really wanted it. Maida had to come along, because it would have raised eyebrows if he and I had come alone; but him having her with us didn't matter at all to him, he told me that himself. So, when his car arrived right where we’re standing now, I told Maida to get ready and went to my cabin to get ready too, but all my stuff was gone—my hat, coat, motor mask, everything. I thought maybe I left them in the saloon, although I was pretty sure I hadn’t; but I rushed to check. They weren’t there, so I dashed back to Maida’s door, thinking she might have pulled a prank on me since she was in a bad mood—she could have hidden my stuff while I was on deck. But she had left, and the things were nowhere to be found. Just then, I heard a noise that sounded like a motor, and I peeked out of my porthole, but by then it was already out of sight. I got back up on deck just in time to see the Prince's car speeding away at about a mile a minute."
"Miss Destrey was in the car?"
"Was Miss Destrey in the car?"
"Of course. She was sitting in the tonneau; and it looked as if there was some one beside the Prince; but Maida was in the way, so I couldn't make sure, and while I was dodging my head about, trying to see, the automobile disappeared. Did you ever know anything so horrid? I'm furious, and I don't know what the Prince must be thinking of me."
"Of course. She was sitting in the back seat, and it seemed like there was someone next to the Prince, but Maida was blocking my view, so I couldn't be sure. While I was moving my head around trying to see, the car vanished. Have you ever heard anything so awful? I'm so angry, and I can't imagine what the Prince must think of me."
I was aghast at this unexpected point of view, but her next words enlightened me. "It's Maida's fault, I know that, though I don't see how she managed the thing. She was wild with me because I stood up for the Prince carrying us off like this, and I suppose she just thought she'd punish me by somehow cheating me out of the pleasure I'd been looking forward to. I can't think of anything else, and neither can the County. He says Maida probably told the Prince that at the last minute I'd refused to go with him; otherwise he never would have driven off with her and left me like that."
I was shocked by this unexpected perspective, but her next words clarified things for me. "It's Maida's fault, I know that, even though I can't see how she pulled it off. She was furious with me because I stood up for the Prince taking us away like this, and I guess she thought she'd get back at me by somehow ruining the enjoyment I'd been looking forward to. I can't think of any other reason, and neither can the County. He says Maida probably told the Prince at the last second that I had refused to go with him; otherwise, he never would have driven off with her and left me like that."
I saw that it would be a simple waste of time to argue with her, and didn't attempt it. "I'm going to look for them," I said.
I realized it would just be pointless to argue with her, so I didn’t even try. “I’m going to look for them,” I said.
"Oh, do take me with you."
"Oh, please take me with you."
I thought for a second or two. The Countess isn't exactly a featherweight, and speed was an object; but protection for Miss Destrey was a still greater consideration, and it might be well for her to have even this foolish little woman's companionship. "Certainly," I replied. "I shall be very glad."
I paused for a moment. The Countess isn't exactly lightweight, and speed was a concern; but keeping Miss Destrey safe was even more important, and it might be good for her to have this silly woman's company. "Of course," I replied. "I'd be very happy to."
Wraps of some sort for her head and body were borrowed on board the yacht, Corramini showing himself kind and helpful, and with but a few minutes' delay for the lady's preparations, and lighting the lamps, we were ready to start.
Wraps for her head and body were borrowed on the yacht, with Corramini being kind and helpful. After just a few minutes of the lady getting ready and lighting the lamps, we were set to go.
My mind was on the rack of doubt and distraction, but though I trusted Corramini not at all, I couldn't see why the most likely way to choose for the chase might not be the road to Hrvoya. [Pg 313] Dalmar-Kalm must be more or less familiar with the neighbourhood, and might have acquaintances along the route who would help him. Corramini was watching the start, so I took the direction which, from some previous poring over local maps, I knew must lead towards Dalmar-Kalm's ruinous inheritance. This I did, lest he might have some means of communicating with his friend; but once out of his sight, I slowed down, and addressed every one I met, in Italian. Had a motor-car been seen driving this way during the afternoon? Several persons stared blankly, and did not brighten to intelligence when Italian was exchanged for faulty German; but we had not gone far when we caught up with a ricketty cab, whose driver was evidently dawdling homeward to shelter for the night. His pitch was, perhaps, near the quay, and if so he might be the very man I wanted.
My mind was tangled in doubt and distraction, but even though I didn’t trust Corramini at all, I couldn’t see why the most obvious choice for the chase wouldn’t be the road to Hrvoya. [Pg 313] Dalmar-Kalm must be somewhat familiar with the area and might have friends along the way who could help him. Corramini was watching the start, so I took the route that I knew from studying local maps would lead toward Dalmar-Kalm's crumbling inheritance. I did this to avoid letting him find a way to communicate with his friend; but once I was out of his sight, I slowed down and asked everyone I met in Italian. Had a car been seen driving this way during the afternoon? Several people stared blankly and didn’t seem to understand even when I switched to broken German; but we hadn’t gone far when we came across a rickety cab, whose driver was clearly taking his time getting home to shelter for the night. His drop-off point might be near the quay, and if so, he could be just the person I needed.
I hailed him, and fortunately he had a little Italian, and more French, of which he was innocently vain.
I called out to him, and luckily he knew a bit of Italian, and even more French, which he was proudly naive about.
"I have seen an automobile," said he, "but it was not coming this way. There cannot have been another, for till to-day we have seen no such thing since Prince Jaimé de Bourbon drove here and up to Montenegro, which made a great excitement for every one some years ago. And this one to-day has also gone to Montenegro."
"I’ve seen a car," he said, "but it wasn’t coming this way. There can’t have been another one because we haven’t seen anything like it since Prince Jaimé de Bourbon drove here to Montenegro, which caused a lot of excitement for everyone a few years back. And this one today has also gone to Montenegro."
I asked him to describe the vehicle, and not only did he give it all the characteristics of the Prince's car, but said that he had seen it slung on shore from a white yacht, which ended all doubt upon the motor's identity, unless by any chance he had been bribed by Dalmar-Kalm to mislead inquirers. This seemed a far-fetched supposition; but why should Montenegro be chosen as a destination? I asked this question aloud, half to myself, half to the Countess, and after a fashion she answered it from the tonneau.
I asked him to describe the vehicle, and not only did he provide all the details of the Prince's car, but he also mentioned that he had seen it lifted from a white yacht, which cleared up any doubts about the motor’s identity, unless there was a chance he had been paid off by Dalmar-Kalm to mislead us. That seemed like a stretch; but why would Montenegro be chosen as a destination? I voiced this question out loud, partly to myself and partly to the Countess, and in a way, she answered from the back seat.
"Dear me, I can't think why on earth they should go there; but I believe I do remember the Prince once saying, ever so long ago when we first talked of driving down into Dalmatia, that he had a friend in Montenegro—an Austrian Consul, though I [Pg 314] don't know in what city there."
"Wow, I really can't figure out why they would want to go there; but I think I do recall the Prince mentioning, a long time ago when we first discussed heading down to Dalmatia, that he had a friend in Montenegro—an Austrian Consul, although I [Pg 314] don't know which city he's in."
"There's only one—the capital, Cettinje," I said mechanically, and my thoughts leaped ahead to the place I named.
"There's only one—the capital, Cettinje," I said automatically, and my thoughts raced ahead to the place I mentioned.
"The scoundrel!" I muttered under my breath.
"The jerk!" I whispered to myself.
"Who, the Austrian Consul?"
"Who, the Austrian consul?"
"No. For all I know, he may be a splendid fellow and probably is; he would never do the thing. But that beast might hope it."
"No. As far as I know, he could be a great guy and probably is; he would never do that. But that jerk might think he could."
"What beast—what thing—hope what?"
"What creature—what thing—hope what?"
"I beg your pardon, Countess. I was talking to myself. Nothing [Pg 315] that you would care to hear repeated."
"I’m sorry, Countess. I was just talking to myself. Nothing [Pg 315] that you would want to hear again."
XXVI
A CHAPTER OF HIGH DIPLOMACY
I had heard travellers speak, and had read in books, of that mighty feat of engineering the road to Montenegro; but even so I was not prepared for the thrilling grandeur of that night drive in the mountains.
I had heard travelers talk and had read in books about that incredible engineering marvel, the road to Montenegro; but even then, I was not ready for the breathtaking beauty of that night drive in the mountains.
With a carriage and two horses, counting halts for rests we must have been seven good hours on the way to Cettinje; but my little twelve horse-power car worked with me heart and soul (I shall always believe now that she's got something of the sort, packed away in her engine), and we reached the lonely Montenegrin frontier, near the mountain-top, in not much over an hour after our start. I caught the glimmer of the white stones that mark the dividing line between Austrian ground and the brave little Principality, and knew what they must mean. Twenty minutes more saw us at the highest point of the stupendous road; and dipping for a flight downward, we arrived not long after in the cup-like plain where the first Montenegrin village showed a few lights. I stopped at a small inn, ordered brandy for the Countess (who was half dead with cold or terror of our wild race beside precipices) and inquired of the German-speaking landlord about the Prince's car.
With a carriage and two horses, including breaks for rest, we must have taken about seven good hours to get to Cettinje; but my little twelve-horsepower car worked with me heart and soul (I’ll always believe she has something extra packed away in her engine), and we reached the remote Montenegrin border, near the mountain top, in just over an hour after we started. I saw the glimmer of the white stones that mark the boundary between Austrian territory and the brave little Principality, and I knew what they meant. Twenty more minutes brought us to the highest point of the incredible road; then, as we dipped down, we soon arrived in the bowl-shaped plain where the first Montenegrin village showed a few lights. I stopped at a small inn, ordered brandy for the Countess (who was half dead from the cold or terrified by our wild ride beside cliffs), and asked the German-speaking landlord about the Prince's car.
Yes, a big red automobile had rushed by, much to the surprise of everyone, about an hour ago. No doubt it was bound for Cettinje; but there had been no news of it since.
Yes, a big red car had sped past, surprising everyone, about an hour ago. It was probably headed for Cettinje; however, there hadn't been any updates since.
We flashed on without waiting for further parley. It was a long way yet, but the car devoured the road as if she were starving. [Pg 316] At last we saw a single light to the left, and then a bunch of lights huddled together in a mountain-ringed plain, half a mile or so beyond. To my annoyance I had to slacken speed for a flock of belated and bewildered sheep, just as we were nearing the first light, but in a moment we would have shot ahead again, had not my attention been caught by the sharp yelping of a little dog
We drove on without waiting for more conversation. It was still a long way to go, but the car sped down the road like it was starving for the journey. [Pg 316] Finally, we spotted a single light to the left, and then a cluster of lights grouped together in a mountain-surrounded flat area, about half a mile away. To my frustration, I had to slow down for a group of late and confused sheep just as we were getting close to the first light, but we would have sped ahead again in a moment if I hadn't been distracted by the sharp barking of a little dog.
It was not the defiant yap of an enemy to motors, but rather a glad welcome; and the thin shred of sound was curiously familiar. Instead of putting on speed, I stopped dead in the middle of the road.
It wasn't the defiant bark of an enemy to motors, but a cheerful greeting instead; and the faint sound was oddly familiar. Instead of speeding up, I came to a complete stop in the middle of the road.
"Whist! Airole, is that you?" I called.
"Shh! Airole, is that you?" I called.
In an instant a tiny black form was making wild springs at the car, trying to get in. It was Airole and no other.
In an instant, a small black figure was jumping wildly at the car, trying to get inside. It was Airole and no one else.
"This is where they are," I said. "In that house, yonder. If it hadn't been for the dog, we'd have gone on, and—" It wasn't worth while to finish.
"This is where they are," I said. "In that house over there. If it hadn't been for the dog, we would have just kept going, and—" It wasn't worth finishing.
I drove to the side and stopped the engine. The Countess would go with me, of course, and it was better that she should; for she was the girl's aunt, and this was the pass her foolishness had brought her to.
I pulled over and turned off the engine. The Countess would definitely come with me, and it was better that she did; after all, she was the girl's aunt, and this was the situation her foolishness had led her to.
Airole pattered before us, leaping at the shut door of a rough, two-story house of dark stone. I knocked; no one came, and I pounded again. If there had been no answer that time, I meant to try and break the door in with my shoulder, which has had some experience as a battering ram and perhaps those inside guessed at my intentions, for there followed a scrambling sound. A bolt was slipped back, and then a tall Montenegrin, belted and armed with knife and big revolver, blocked up the doorway.
Airole trotted ahead of us, jumping at the closed door of a rough, two-story house made of dark stone. I knocked; no one answered, so I pounded again. If there was still no response, I planned to try and break the door down with my shoulder, which has had some practice as a battering ram, and maybe those inside guessed my intentions because then I heard some scrambling. A bolt was slid back, and a tall Montenegrin, wearing a belt and armed with a knife and a big revolver, stood in the doorway.
I tried him in Italian. No use; he jabbered protests in Slavic, with a wife peeping curiously over his shoulder, as the Countess peeped over mine. Finally, to save time and somebody's blood, perhaps, I offered an Austrian note and it proved a passport. They let us go in; and entering, I heard Miss Destrey's voice raised in fear or anger, behind another closed door.
I tried speaking to him in Italian. No luck; he babbled his objections in Slavic, with his wife curiously peeking over his shoulder, just like the Countess did over mine. Finally, to save time and maybe someone's life, I presented an Austrian note, and it turned out to be our ticket in. They allowed us to enter, and as we did, I heard Miss Destrey's voice raised in either fear or anger, coming from behind another closed door.
Then most of the blood in my body seemed to spring to my [Pg 317] head, and I have no very distinct recollection of anything more, till I found that I had done to that second door what I'd meant to do to the first, and that Maida had run straight into my arms.
Then most of the blood in my body felt like it rushed to my [Pg 317] head, and I can't really remember much else until I realized I had done to that second door what I intended to do to the first, and that Maida had run straight into my arms.
"My darling!" I heard myself exclaiming. I know that I held her tight against my heart for an instant, saying, "Thank Heaven!" that she seemed to have been mine for all the past and must belong to me for all the future. I know that she was sobbing a little, that she clung to me; and that then, remembering the man and what was owing him, I put her away to begin his punishment.
"My darling!" I heard myself exclaim. I know that I held her tight against my heart for a moment, saying, "Thank goodness!" that she seemed to have been mine for all the past and would have to belong to me for all the future. I know that she was sobbing a bit, that she clung to me; and then, remembering the man and what was owed to him, I pushed her away to start his punishment.
"You unspeakable ruffian!" I threw the words at him, and threw myself at the same time. I think we struggled for a few moments, but I am younger than he, as well as bigger, so it was not much credit to my prowess that I soon had my hand twisted in his collar and was shaking him as if he'd been a rat
"You unbearable thug!" I shouted at him, and lunged at the same time. I think we wrestled for a few moments, but I'm younger and bigger than he is, so it didn’t say much about my skills that I quickly had my hand in his collar, shaking him like he was a rat.
It was the Countess who stopped the fun, by hurling herself between us, quite like the heroine of old-fashioned melodrama. "Oh, for my sake, for my sake!" she was wailing. "It wasn't his fault. Wait and let him have the chance to explain."
It was the Countess who interrupted the fun by jumping between us, just like a heroine from a classic melodrama. "Oh, for my sake, for my sake!" she cried out. "It wasn't his fault. Just wait and let him explain."
One more shake I gave, and threw him off, so that he staggered back against the wall.
One last shake I gave, and tossed him off, making him stagger back against the wall.
"He threatened to shoot me at last," cried Maida.
"He finally threatened to shoot me," Maida exclaimed.
"Shall I kill him?" I asked.
"Should I kill him?" I asked.
"No," she said trembling. "Let him go. You are here. I am safe."
"No," she said, shaking. "Let him go. You're here. I'm safe."
The man stood and glared at us like an animal at bay. I saw his eyes dart from Maida to me, from me to the Countess, and rest on her as if begging something. And his hunted instinct was right. If there were hope left for him anywhere, it was with her
The man stood there, glaring at us like a cornered animal. I saw his eyes dart from Maida to me, then to the Countess, finally settling on her as if he was pleading for something. His desperate instinct was accurate. If there was any hope left for him, it was with her.
"Don't believe anything they say of me," he panted, dry-lipped. "Corramini tricked me by sending his wife's servant in your place, dressed in your things, wearing your motor-mask. She wouldn't speak. I didn't know the truth till I got here. I thought it was you I had run away with to Montenegro, hoping I might persuade you to marry me, when you were out of the way [Pg 318] of your daughter, who hates me, and would ruin me with you if she could. I would have left Miss Destrey behind, if I could have hoped you'd come without her. Imagine my feelings when I found out I'd lost you! If I have frightened her it was in my blind rage against her and every one concerned in the trick. As for your chauffeur, he is not worth fighting, and as I am a gentleman, I do not even return the blows of one who is not—especially before ladies."
"Don't believe a word they say about me," he gasped, his lips dry. "Corramini fooled me by sending his wife's servant in your place, dressed in your clothes and wearing your motor-mask. She stayed silent. I didn't learn the truth until I got here. I thought I was escaping with you to Montenegro, hoping I could convince you to marry me, while your daughter, who hates me and would ruin me with you if she could, was out of the picture. I would have left Miss Destrey behind if I had thought you would come without her. Imagine how I felt when I found out I had lost you! If I frightened her, it was due to my blind rage against her and everyone involved in the trick. As for your chauffeur, he's not worth the fight, and as a gentleman, I won't even retaliate against someone who isn't—especially in front of ladies."
"Aunt Kathryn, you must not believe his falsehoods," cried Maida. "If you do—if you let yourself care for him—he will spoil your life."
"Aunt Kathryn, you can’t believe his lies," Maida exclaimed. "If you do—if you let yourself get attached to him—he will ruin your life."
The Countess petulantly stopped her ears. "I won't listen to you," was her answer. "I knew there had been trickery of some sort, and you may as well save your breath, for whatever you say I will believe nothing against the man I love."
The Countess irritably covered her ears. "I won't listen to you," she replied. "I knew there was some kind of trickery going on, and you might as well save your breath, because no matter what you say, I won’t believe anything bad about the man I love."
With that she took her fingers from her ears, and held out both hands to Dalmar-Kalm. He ran to take them, and pressed his lips ardently first upon one, then the other plump cushion of dimpled satin.
With that, she took her fingers from her ears and held out both hands to Dalmar-Kalm. He ran to take them and pressed his lips passionately first on one, then the other soft cushion of dimpled satin.
Disgusted with this exhibition of a woman's folly, while I pitied it, I could look no more, but turned to Maida.
Disgusted by this display of a woman's foolishness, even though I felt sorry for it, I couldn't watch any longer and turned to Maida.
"Will you let me take you away?" was all that my lips said, but my eyes said more, in memory of that first moment of our meeting, which was, please God, to influence our whole future—hers and mine.
"Will you let me take you away?" was all my lips said, but my eyes said more, remembering that first moment of our meeting, which, I hope, will shape our entire future—hers and mine.
"Yes," she answered."But—I can't leave here without Aunt Kathryn."
"Yes," she answered. "But—I can't leave here without Aunt Kathryn."
"You must go with Miss Destrey, Countess," I insisted. "Whatever you may decide later in regard to Prince Dalmar-Kalm, in any case you must go with your niece and me to stop at an hotel in Cettinje, for the night."
"You have to go with Miss Destrey, Countess," I insisted. "No matter what you decide later about Prince Dalmar-Kalm, you still need to come with your niece and me to stay at a hotel in Cettinje for the night."
The man would not let go her hand. "Promise me you will not leave Montenegro till you are my wife," he begged. "If you do, I feel I shall lose you for ever."
The man wouldn’t let go of her hand. "Promise me you won’t leave Montenegro until you’re my wife," he pleaded. "If you do, I feel like I’ll lose you forever."
"I'll do my best," faltered the lady, as a lady should, I suppose, [Pg 319] who feels herself a heroine of romance. I could almost have respected that scoundrel for his diplomacy. His motto was, "Get what you want, or if you can't, take what you can;" and he was living up to it, playing up to it before an audience as no other man I ever saw could or would. He didn't seem to care what we thought of him, now that he was gaining his point. But when fatty degeneration of the soul sets in, there is room for little real pride in a man's breast.
"I'll do my best," the lady hesitated, as a lady is expected to, I guess, [Pg 319] who sees herself as a heroine in a romance. I could almost respect that scoundrel for his cleverness. His motto was, "Get what you want, or if you can't, take what you can;" and he was really living by it, performing it like no other man I’ve ever seen could or would. He didn’t seem to care what we thought of him, now that he was getting what he wanted. But when a person starts to rot from within, there's not much real pride left in a man’s heart.
"You will not allow yourself to be prejudiced against me?" he went on.
"You won't let yourself be biased against me?" he continued.
"Never," vowed the Countess. "No one had better try it."
"Never," the Countess declared. "No one should even think about it."
"I will not try after to-night, if what I have to tell doesn't change your mind," said Maida. "But, just this once—"
"I won’t try again after tonight if what I have to say doesn’t change your mind," Maida said. "But, just this once—"
"No—no!"
"No way!"
"Very well then, I will say nothing except—"
"Alright then, I won’t say anything except—"
"Be careful!"
"Watch out!"
"Oh," and the girl turned imploringly to me, "take us somewhere, so that I can talk to her alone."
"Oh," the girl said, looking at me urgently, "take us somewhere so I can talk to her alone."
"There's said to be a good enough hotel in Cettinje. I'll take you both there," I ventured.
"There's supposedly a decent hotel in Cetinje. I'll take you both there," I suggested.
"Come and see me early—early, Prince," said the Countess.
"Come see me early—early, Prince," said the Countess.
"Yes. But I am not 'Prince' to you now. I am 'Otto.'"
"Yes. But I'm not 'Prince' to you anymore. I'm 'Otto.'"
"Otto, then."
"Otto, then."
So I got them away, leaving the man behind, to his own devices, and at the door I had the joy of wrapping Maida in my big coat. How glad I was that I had brought it! I drove them to a hotel in the place at the end of the long main street, and when the Countess had hurried ostentatiously off to her room, that no nefarious attempts might be made upon her resolution. She and I stood for a moment hand in hand, in the dim hall.
So I managed to get them away, leaving the man behind to fend for himself, and at the door I felt a rush of happiness wrapping Maida in my big coat. I was so glad I had brought it! I took them to a hotel at the end of the long main street, and when the Countess hurriedly went off to her room, making a show of it to avoid any questionable attempts on her resolve, she and I stood together for a moment, hand in hand, in the dim hallway.
"You are mine?" I asked.
"Are you mine?" I asked.
"Are you sure you want me?"
"Are you really sure you want me?"
"I've been sure of that—too sure for my peace of mind [Pg 320] since the first day I saw your dear face—the loveliest on earth. But I never thought to have you. I never thought that I would have a right to ask, for I'm poor—horribly poor."
"I've been convinced of that—too convinced for my peace of mind [Pg 320] since the first day I saw your beautiful face—the most stunning on earth. But I never imagined I could have you. I never thought I would have the right to ask, because I'm broke—really broke."
"Oh, as if that mattered!"
"Oh, like that matters!"
"I know it doesn't now, for this that's happened has given us to each other. I'll work hard and make money. Nothing can part us—I couldn't bear it. But it seems too good to be true. Is it possible you care for me?"
"I know it doesn't seem like it now, but what’s happened has brought us together. I’ll work hard and make money. Nothing can separate us—I couldn't handle it. But it feels almost too good to be true. Do you really care for me?"
"I think I've cared—ever since the first few days. I'd never guessed that I would meet a man like you. But oh, I did not mean to marry any man."
"I think I've cared—ever since those first few days. I never expected to meet someone like you. But oh, I didn’t intend to marry any man."
"I know, darling. I know what you'd planned. I lay awake nights over it, wondering if, beggar as I was, I couldn't snatch you from that cold future. But I shouldn't have thought I had the right if this thunderbolt hadn't struck me."
"I get it, babe. I know what you had in mind. I stayed up at night thinking about it, wondering if, despite being a beggar, I could pull you away from that cold future. But I shouldn’t have thought I had the right to do so if this shock hadn’t hit me."
"As Aunt Kathryn—poor Aunt Kathryn!—is always saying, 'It must have been meant.' I never promised that—that I would join the Sisters, you know. I suppose this is why my father would have me go abroad when I came of age. He was afraid I might make up my mind before I had—found my heart."
"As Aunt Kathryn—poor Aunt Kathryn!—always says, 'It must have been meant.' I never promised that I would join the Sisters, you know. I guess this is why my father wanted me to go abroad when I turned 18. He was worried I might decide too soon before I had found my heart."
"Have you found it now—for sure?"
"Have you found it now—for real?"
"No. I—I've lost it."
"No. I—I’ve lost it."
"Angel! But you've got mine instead. You won't mind marrying a beggar and being a beggaress?"
"Angel! But you've got mine instead. You won't mind marrying a beggar and being a beggar?"
The adorable creature laughed. "I shall love it," she said. There was no one in the hall except Airole, and the shadows were asleep—so I kissed her: and knew why I had been born. I'd often wondered, but I never will again.
The cute creature laughed. "I will love it," she said. There was no one in the hall except Airole, and the shadows were at rest—so I kissed her: and understood why I had been born. I'd often wondered, but I will never question it again.
We had a fierce tussle with the Countess to prevent her stopping in Montenegro and marrying her Prince there and then, as soon as might be. The truth was, and she owned it, that she was afraid to face Beechy till she had been made irrevocably a Princess. But finally we prevailed, almost by force, and tore the poor lady from her lover, who protested that he [Pg 321] would follow, were it to the world's end. I believed he would, too, for he had threatened to be the last man in Maida's world; the Countess was now the last woman in his, and he would hold on to her and her money as a drowning man grasps at a substantial spar.
We had a tough struggle with the Countess to keep her from staying in Montenegro and marrying her Prince right then and there. The truth was, and she admitted it, that she was scared to face Beechy until she was made a Princess for good. But in the end, we managed to convince her, almost by force, and pulled the poor lady away from her lover, who insisted that he would follow her anywhere, even to the ends of the earth. I believed him too, since he had vowed to be the last man in Maida's world; now the Countess was the last woman in his, and he would cling to her and her money like a drowning man grabs onto something solid.
I shall never forget that drive down from the mountain land where a King rode to fetch a fairy bride
I will never forget that drive down from the mountain where a King rode to get a fairy bride.
At Cattaro we took the fishing boat which had carried me yesterday; and I think the sailor-men realized, when they saw what I had brought back, that I wasn't a madman after all.
At Cattaro, we took the fishing boat that had taken me there yesterday; and I think the sailors understood when they saw what I had brought back that I wasn't crazy after all.
Then the spin from Castelnuovo to Ragusa that I had taken in such a different mood fifteen hours before. And at Ragusa, Beechy, still pale and shaken, springing up from her sofa to meet Maida and me as we opened the door.
Then the drive from Castelnuovo to Ragusa that I had taken in such a different mood fifteen hours earlier. And at Ragusa, Beechy, still pale and shaken, sprang up from her sofa to greet Maida and me as we opened the door.
Ralph sprang up too, and his chair had been drawn so close to her sofa that the rush of her white wrapper—or whatever it was—upset it.
Ralph jumped up too, and his chair had been pulled so close to her sofa that the movement of her white robe—or whatever it was—knocked it over.
"Where's Mamma?" came the first question, as was natural.
"Where's Mom?" was the first question, which made sense.
"She's gone to her room, and we're to talk to you before she sees you," said Maida. "Oh Beechy, you must be good to her; she's miserable."
"She's gone to her room, and we need to talk to you before she sees you," said Maida. "Oh Beechy, you have to be nice to her; she's really upset."
Then we told the story, preparing Beechy for her mother's decision, and I expected hysterics. But she neither laughed nor cried. She only sat still, looking curiously guilty and meek.
Then we shared the story, getting Beechy ready for her mom's decision, and I anticipated an outburst. But she didn’t laugh or cry. She just sat quietly, looking oddly guilty and submissive.
"Isn't it dreadful? But I couldn't do anything," said Maida. "He is a wicked man—you don't know yet how wicked. He got me up to Montenegro by a horrid pretence, and when I wouldn't promise to marry him at once he tried arguments for about an hour, then locked the door of a room in the house where we were because his motor broke down, and threatened to shoot me. I don't know if he really would. Perhaps not. But anyway, Mr. Barrymore saved me. He came just then and burst the door open."
"Isn't it awful? But I couldn’t do anything," Maida said. "He's a terrible man—you have no idea how terrible. He got me to Montenegro with a nasty trick, and when I wouldn’t promise to marry him right away, he argued with me for about an hour. Then he locked the door of the room we were in, since his car had broken down, and threatened to shoot me. I don’t know if he actually would have. Maybe not. But anyway, Mr. Barrymore saved me. He showed up just then and broke the door open."
"It's all my fault from beginning to end!" broke out Beechy, tragically. "I confessed to Sir Ralph yesterday, when I [Pg 322] was only worried for fear something might happen, but now it has happened, I'll confess to you, too. I got afraid Mamma would really marry the Prince—oh, but that wasn't the way it began! Just for fun, long ago, when we first started, I let him pump me—it was great fun then—and told him how rich Mamma was, and would be, even if she married again. I thought it would be such larks to watch his game, and so it was for a while, till I was in an awful stew for fear I'd gone too far and couldn't stop things. I was ready then to do something desperate rather than find myself saddled with that Prince for my step-father. So I sacrificed you."
"It's all my fault from start to finish!" Beechy exclaimed dramatically. "I admitted to Sir Ralph yesterday, when I was just worried something might happen, but now it has happened, so I'll confess to you, too. I got scared Mamma would actually marry the Prince—oh, but that’s not how it started! Just for fun, a long time ago, when we first began, I let him ask me questions—it was a blast back then—and told him how wealthy Mamma was, and would be, even if she remarried. I thought it would be so entertaining to watch his scheme, and it was for a while, until I was in a huge panic fearing I’d gone too far and couldn't stop it. I was ready to do something drastic rather than end up with that Prince as my stepfather. So I sacrificed you."
"I don't see—" Maida began; but Beechy cut her short.
"I don't see—" Maida started, but Beechy interrupted her.
"Why, when we went to that Sisterhood of yours, I overheard the Mother Superior, or whatever you call her, confiding to Mamma that you were a tremendous heiress, that you didn't quite know how rich you were yourself, and wouldn't be told till you were safely back from Europe. It was a secret, and I hadn't any business to know. But I let it out to the Prince, when I was in such a state about him and Mamma, in Bellagio. He went for you at once, as I knew he would—but what's the matter, Mr. Barrymore? It isn't for you to be angry with me. It's for Maida."
"Why, when we went to your Sisterhood, I overheard the Mother Superior, or whatever you call her, telling Mom that you were a huge heiress, that you didn’t even know how wealthy you really were, and you wouldn’t find out until you got back from Europe. It was a secret, and I shouldn’t have known. But I spilled it to the Prince when I was all worked up about him and Mom in Bellagio. He went for you right away, just like I figured he would—but what’s wrong, Mr. Barrymore? You shouldn’t be mad at me. It’s for Maida."
"I'm not angry with you, but with myself," I said. And then for a minute I forgot Ralph and Beechy, and remembered only Maida. "Don't think I knew," I said. "If I had, I wouldn't—"
"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself," I said. And then for a moment I forgot about Ralph and Beechy, and only remembered Maida. "Don't think I knew," I said. "If I had, I wouldn't—"
"Oh, don't say you wouldn't. I love to feel you had to," the Angel cried. "I hold you to your word, oh, with all my heart in my right to you. Beechy, your Chauffeulier and I—are engaged."
"Oh, don’t say you wouldn’t. I love to feel you had to," the Angel exclaimed. "I hold you to your word, oh, with all my heart in my right to you. Beechy, your chauffeur and I—are engaged."
"There!" the child exclaimed, with a look at Ralph I couldn't fathom. "Didn't I tell you so?"
"There!" the child exclaimed, looking at Ralph in a way I couldn't understand. "Didn't I tell you?"
"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?" was his retort. "How shall I feel if you don't wish Miss Destrey your best wishes?"
"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it?" he replied. "How am I supposed to feel if you don't send Miss Destrey your best wishes?"
"Oh, I do, I do," exclaimed the strange child. "And I congratulate the Chauffeulier. But he must do some congratulating too. I'm going to put up my hair, come out in a long dress, and [Pg 323] be engaged to Sir Ralph."
"Oh, I absolutely do," said the unusual child. "And I congratulate the Chauffeulier. But he has some congratulating to do as well. I'm going to style my hair, wear a long dress, and [Pg 323] get engaged to Sir Ralph."
Maida's great eyes were greater than ever. "Beechy!" she protested. "You aren't fourteen!"
Maida's big eyes were wider than ever. "Beechy!" she protested. "You're not fourteen!"
"No, I know I'm not; but I'm seventeen. And when I told Ralph that, he proposed at once. You see he's been my father confessor ever since we've been on this trip, so he knows all that's best and worst of me; and I do think we shall have real fun when we're married. I told Mamma I'd have no Princes on my ranch, and I won't. But if she's fool enough to take that man, after all, she and I can visit each other's ranches after this, and we'll be all right. Mine's going to be in England or Scotland in summer, and in winter I'm to live with Félicité and the duck. Oh, I shall be happy, and so will Ralph, I hope. But I never thought a good democrat like Papa's daughter would go and marry a man with a title."
"No, I know I'm not; but I'm seventeen. And when I told Ralph that, he immediately proposed. You see, he's been my confidant ever since we started this trip, so he knows all the best and worst parts of me; and I really think we’ll have a great time when we’re married. I told Mom I wouldn't have any Princes on my ranch, and I won’t. But if she’s crazy enough to marry that guy, then we can visit each other’s ranches from now on, and that’ll be fine. Mine’s going to be in England or Scotland in summer, and in winter I’ll stay with Félicité and the duck. Oh, I’ll be happy, and I hope Ralph will be too. But I never thought that a good democrat like my dad’s daughter would go and marry a man with a title."
"A mere baronet. It needn't go against the grain much," remarked Sir Ralph. "Think how much worse it is for your poor cousin!"
"A simple baronet. It shouldn't be too hard to accept," Sir Ralph commented. "Just consider how much worse it is for your poor cousin!"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"To marry a 'real live lord,' who will some day be a marquis."
"To marry a 'real live lord' who will someday be a marquis."
"Oh!" exclaimed Beechy. "She who said she would like to teach other American girls a lesson."
"Oh!" Beechy exclaimed. "She who claimed she wanted to teach other American girls a lesson."
"I didn't know," Maida faltered.
"I didn't know," Maida hesitated.
"What?" asked Ralph. "You didn't tell her?"
"What?" Ralph asked. "You didn't tell her?"
"I forgot all about it," I said. "But Maida, dearest, it doesn't matter. I—"
"I completely forgot about it," I said. "But Maida, my dear, it doesn't really matter. I—"
"Nothing matters but you," she said.
"Nothing matters except you," she said.
THE END
Good Fiction Worth Reading.
A series of romances containing several of the old favorites in the field of historical fiction, replete with powerful romances of love and diplomacy that excel in thrilling and absorbing interest.
A collection of romances featuring many beloved characters from historical fiction, filled with intense stories of love and diplomacy that are exciting and captivating.
WINDSOR CASTLE. A Historical Romance of the Reign of Henry VIII. Catharine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn. By Wm. Harrison Ainsworth. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by George Cruikshank. Price, $1.00.
WINDSOR CASTLE. A Historical Romance of the Reign of Henry VIII. Catharine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn. By Wm. Harrison Ainsworth. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by George Cruikshank. Price, $1.00.
"Windsor Castle" is the story of Henry VIII., Catharine, and Anne Boleyn. "Bluff King Hal," although a well-loved monarch, was none too good a one in many ways. Of all his selfishness and unwarrantable acts, none was more discreditable than his divorce from Catharine, and his marriage to the beautiful Anne Boleyn. The King's love was as brief as it was vehement. Jane Seymour, waiting maid on the Queen, attracted him, and Anne Boleyn was forced to the block to make room for her successor. This romance is one of extreme interest to all readers.
"Windsor Castle" tells the story of Henry VIII, Catherine, and Anne Boleyn. "Bluff King Hal," while a beloved ruler, was far from a good king in many respects. Among all his selfish and unjust actions, none was more disgraceful than his divorce from Catherine and his marriage to the lovely Anne Boleyn. The King's affection was as short-lived as it was intense. Jane Seymour, a lady-in-waiting to the Queen, caught his eye, and Anne Boleyn was put to death to make way for her successor. This romance is of great interest to all readers.
HORSESHOE ROBINSON. A tale of the Tory Ascendency in South Carolina in 1780. By John P. Kennedy. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
HORSESHOE ROBINSON. A story about the Tory Power in South Carolina in 1780. By John P. Kennedy. Hardcover, 12mo, with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
Among the old favorites in the field of what is known as historical fiction, there are none which appeal to a larger number of Americans than Horseshoe Robinson, and this because it is the only story which depicts with fidelity to the facts the heroic efforts of the colonists in South Carolina to defend their homes against the brutal oppression of the British under such leaders as Cornwallis and Tarleton.
Among the classic favorites in the area of historical fiction, there are none that resonate with more Americans than Horseshoe Robinson. This is because it is the only story that accurately portrays the brave efforts of the colonists in South Carolina to protect their homes from the harsh oppression of the British under leaders like Cornwallis and Tarleton.
The reader is charmed with the story of love which forms the thread of the tale, and then impressed with the wealth of detail concerning those times. The picture of the manifold sufferings of the people, is never overdrawn, but painted faithfully and honestly by one who spared neither time nor labor in his efforts to present in this charming love story all that price in blood and tears which the Carolinians paid as their share in the winning of the republic.
The reader is captivated by the love story that runs throughout the tale and deeply moved by the rich detail about that time period. The portrayal of the people's many struggles is never exaggerated but depicted truthfully and sincerely by someone who dedicated both time and effort to showcase in this beautiful love story all the sacrifices in blood and tears that the Carolinians endured as their contribution to the founding of the republic.
Take it all in all, "Horseshoe Robinson" is a work which should be found on every book-shelf, not only because it is a most entertaining story, but because of the wealth of valuable information concerning the colonists which it contains. That it has been brought out once more, well illustrated, is something which will give pleasure to thousands who have long desired an opportunity to read the story again, and to the many who have tried vainly in these latter days to procure a copy that they might read it for the first time.
Overall, "Horseshoe Robinson" is a book that should be on every bookshelf, not just because it's an entertaining story, but also because it offers a lot of valuable information about the colonists. The fact that it's been reissued with great illustrations will delight thousands who have long wanted to experience the story again, as well as many who have struggled in recent times to find a copy to read it for the first time.
THE PEARL OF ORR'S ISLAND. A story of the Coast of Maine. By Harriet Beecher Stowe. Cloth, 12mo. Illustrated. Price, $1.00.
THE PEARL OF ORR'S ISLAND. A story set on the Coast of Maine. By Harriet Beecher Stowe. Hardcover, 12mo. Includes illustrations. Price: $1.00.
Written prior to 1862, the "Pearl of Orr's Island" is ever new; a book filled with delicate fancies, such as seemingly array themselves anew each time one reads them. One sees the "sea like an unbroken mirror all around the pine-girt, lonely shores of Orr's Island," and straightway comes "the heavy, hollow moan of the surf on the beach, like the wild, angry howl of some savage animal."
Written before 1862, the "Pearl of Orr's Island" feels fresh; it's a book filled with subtle ideas that seem to come to life each time you read them. You can picture "the sea like a smooth mirror all around the pine-surrounded, secluded shores of Orr's Island," and immediately you hear "the deep, echoing moan of the surf on the beach, like the fierce, angry growl of some wild beast."
Who can read of the beginning of that sweet life, named Mara, which came into this world under the very shadow of the Death angel's wings, without having an intense desire to know how the premature bud blossomed? Again and again one lingers over the descriptions of the character of that baby boy Moses, who came through the tempest, amid the angry billows, pillowed on his dead mother's breast.
Who can read about the start of that beautiful life, called Mara, which entered this world under the very shadow of the angel of death, without feeling a strong desire to know how the early bloom thrived? Time and time again, one finds themselves captivated by the descriptions of that baby boy Moses, who came through the storm, nestled against his deceased mother's breast.
There is no more faithful portrayal of New England life than that which Mrs. Stowe gives in "The Pearl of Orr's Island."
There’s no more accurate depiction of New England life than what Mrs. Stowe presents in "The Pearl of Orr's Island."
GUY FAWKES. A Romance of the Gunpowder Treason. By Wm. Harrison Ainsworth. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by George Cruikshank. Price, $1.00.
GUY FAWKES. A Romance of the Gunpowder Treason. By Wm. Harrison Ainsworth. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by George Cruikshank. Price, $1.00.
The "Gunpowder Plot" was a modest attempt to blow up Parliament, the King and his Counsellors. James of Scotland, then King of England, was weak-minded and extravagant. He hit upon the efficient scheme of extorting money from the people by imposing taxes on the Catholics. In their natural resentment to this extortion, a handful of bold spirits concluded to overthrow the government. Finally the plotters were arrested, and the King put to torture Guy Fawkes and the other prisoners with royal vigor. A very intense love story runs through the entire romance.
The "Gunpowder Plot" was a small-scale effort to blow up Parliament, the King, and his advisers. James of Scotland, who was then King of England, was weak-willed and extravagant. He devised the effective plan of squeezing money out of the people by imposing taxes on Catholics. In their natural anger about this extortion, a small group of daring individuals decided to take down the government. Eventually, the conspirators were caught, and the King tortured Guy Fawkes and the other prisoners with royal determination. A very intense love story runs throughout the entire narrative.
THE SPIRIT OF THE BORDER. A Romance of the Early Settlers in the Ohio Valley. By Zane Grey. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
THE SPIRIT OF THE BORDER. A Romance of the Early Settlers in the Ohio Valley. By Zane Grey. Hardcover, 12mo, with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
A book rather out of the ordinary is this "Spirit of the Border." The main thread of the story has to do with the work of the Moravian missionaries in the Ohio Valley. Incidentally the reader is given details of the frontier life of those hardy pioneers who broke the wilderness for the planting of this great nation. Chief among these, as a matter of course, is Lewis Wetzel, one of the most peculiar, and at the same time the most admirable of all the brave men who spent their lives battling with the savage foe, that others might dwell in comparative security.
A book that's quite different is "Spirit of the Border." The main focus of the story centers on the efforts of the Moravian missionaries in the Ohio Valley. Along the way, readers get a glimpse into the frontier life of those tough pioneers who cleared the land to help establish this great nation. Leading the way, of course, is Lewis Wetzel, one of the most unique and, at the same time, the most admirable of all the courageous men who dedicated their lives to fighting against the savage enemy, so that others could live in relative safety.
Details of the establishment and destruction of the Moravian "Village of Peace" are given at some length, and with minute description. The efforts to Christianize the Indians are described as they never have been before, and the author has depicted the characters of the leaders of the several Indian tribes with great care, which of itself will be of interest to the student.
Details of how the Moravian "Village of Peace" was founded and destroyed are covered in depth and with detailed descriptions. The attempts to convert the Native Americans to Christianity are explained in a way that hasn’t been done before, and the author has carefully portrayed the personalities of the leaders of the various Native tribes, which will be particularly interesting to students.
By no means least among the charms of the story are the vivid word-pictures of the thrilling adventures, and the intense paintings of the beauties of nature, as seen in the almost unbroken forests.
By no means least among the charms of the story are the vivid descriptions of the exciting adventures and the striking depictions of the beauty of nature, as experienced in the nearly untouched forests.
It is the spirit of the frontier which is described, and one can by it, perhaps, the better understand why men, and women, too, willingly braved every privation and danger that the westward progress of the star of empire might be the more certain and rapid. A love story, simple and tender, runs through the book.
It’s the spirit of the frontier that’s captured here, and through it, we can perhaps better understand why both men and women willingly faced every hardship and danger to ensure the westward expansion of the country was more assured and swift. A simple and heartfelt love story weaves throughout the book.
RICHELIEU. A tale of France in the reign of King Louis XIII. By G. P. R. James. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
RICHELIEU. A story set in France during the reign of King Louis XIII. By G. P. R. James. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
In 1829 Mr. James published his first romance, "Richelieu," and was recognized at once as one of the masters of the craft.
In 1829, Mr. James published his first novel, "Richelieu," and was immediately acknowledged as one of the masters of the craft.
In this book he laid the story during those later days of the great cardinal's life, when his power was beginning to wane, but while it was yet sufficiently strong to permit now and then of volcanic outbursts which overwhelmed foes and carried friends to the topmost wave of prosperity. One of the most striking portions of the story is that of Cinq Mar's conspiracy; the method of conducting criminal cases, and the political trickery resorted to by royal favorites, affording a better insight into the statecraft of that day than can be had even by an exhaustive study of history. It is a powerful romance of love and diplomacy, and in point of thrilling and absorbing interest has never been excelled.
In this book, he tells the story during the later days of the great cardinal’s life, when his power was starting to fade, but was still strong enough to allow for occasional explosive actions that overwhelmed enemies and lifted friends to the peak of success. One of the most striking parts of the story is Cinq Mar’s conspiracy; the way criminal cases were handled and the political maneuvering used by royal favorites provide a deeper understanding of the statecraft of that time than can be gained from even the most thorough study of history. It’s a powerful romance of love and diplomacy, and in terms of thrilling and captivating interest, it has never been surpassed.
DARNLEY. A Romance of the times of Henry VIII. and Cardinal Wolsey. By G. P. R. James. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
DARNLEY. A Romance set in the era of Henry VIII and Cardinal Wolsey. By G. P. R. James. Hardcover, 12mo, with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
In point of publication, "Darnley" is that work by Mr. James which follows "Richelieu," and, if rumor can be credited, it was owing to the advice and insistence of our own Washington Irving that we are indebted primarily for the story, the young author questioning whether he could properly paint the differences in the characters of the two great cardinals. And it is not surprising that James should have hesitated; he had been eminently successful in giving to the world the portrait of Richelieu as a man, and by attempting a similar task with Wolsey as the theme, was much like tempting fortune. Irving insisted that "Darnley" came naturally in sequence, and this opinion being supported by Sir Walter Scott, the author set about the work.
In terms of publication, "Darnley" is the work by Mr. James that follows "Richelieu," and if we can believe the rumors, it was largely due to the advice and persistence of our own Washington Irving that we owe the story. The young author was unsure if he could accurately depict the differences between the two great cardinals. It's understandable that James would feel hesitant; he had been highly successful in portraying Richelieu as a man, and trying to do something similar with Wolsey was a bit like tempting fate. Irving insisted that "Darnley" naturally followed, and with Sir Walter Scott supporting this view, the author began the work.
As a historical romance "Darnley" is a book that can be taken up pleasurably again and again, for there is about it that subtle charm which those who are strangers to the works of G. P. R. James have claimed was only to be imparted by Dumas.
As a historical romance, "Darnley" is a book you can enjoy over and over again, as it possesses that subtle charm that those unfamiliar with the works of G. P. R. James have said could only be created by Dumas.
If there was nothing more about the work to attract especial attention, the account of the meetings of the kings on the historic "field of the cloth of gold" would entitle the story to the most favorable consideration of every reader.
If there was nothing else about the work that stood out, the description of the meetings between the kings on the famous "field of the cloth of gold" would still make the story deserving of every reader's attention.
There is really but little pure romance in this story, for the author has taken care to having entertained the tender passion one for another, and he succeeds in making such lovers as all the world must love.
There’s actually not much pure romance in this story, because the author has focused on portraying the deep feelings people have for each other, and he does a great job of creating lovers that everyone can adore.
CAPTAIN BRAND, OF THE SCHOONER CENTIPEDE. By Lieut. Henry A. Wise, U.S.N. (Harry Gringo). Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
CAPTAIN BRAND, OF THE SCHOONER CENTIPEDE. By Lieut. Henry A. Wise, U.S.N. (Harry Gringo). Hardcover, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
The re-publication of this story will please those lovers of sea yarns who delight in so much of the salty flavor of the ocean as can come through the medium of a printed page, for never has a story of the sea and those "who go down in ships" been written by one more familiar with the scenes depicted.
The re-publication of this story will please fans of sea tales who enjoy the salty essence of the ocean that can come through the printed word, because no other story about the sea and those "who go down in ships" has been written by someone more familiar with the depicted scenes.
The one book of this gifted author which is best remembered, and which will be read with pleasure for many years to come, is "Captain Brand," who, as the author states on his title page, was a "pirate of eminence in the West Indies." As a sea story pure and simple, "Captain Brand" has never been excelled, and as a story of piratical life, told without the usual embellishments of blood and thunder, it has no equal.
The one book from this talented author that people remember the most and will continue to enjoy for many years is "Captain Brand," who, as the author mentions on the title page, was a "notable pirate in the West Indies." As a straightforward sea tale, "Captain Brand" has never been surpassed, and as a story about pirate life told without the usual embellishments of violence and chaos, it stands alone.
NICK OF THE WOODS. A story of the Early Settlers of Kentucky. By Robert Montgomery Bird. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
NICK OF THE WOODS. A story about the early settlers of Kentucky. By Robert Montgomery Bird. Hardcover, 12mo, with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
This most popular novel and thrilling story of early frontier life in Kentucky was originally published in the year 1837. The novel, long out of print, had in its day a phenomenal sale, for its realistic presentation of Indian and frontier life in the early days of settlement in the South, narrated in the tale with all the art of a practiced writer. A very charming love romance runs through the story. This new and tasteful edition of "Nick of the Woods" will be certain to make many new admirers for this enchanting story from Dr. Bird's clever and versatile pen.
This widely-loved novel and exciting tale of early frontier life in Kentucky was originally published in 1837. Long out of print, the book had an incredible sales record in its time, thanks to its realistic portrayal of Indian and frontier life during the early days of settlement in the South, told with the skill of an experienced writer. A delightful love story weaves through the narrative. This new and stylish edition of "Nick of the Woods" is sure to attract many new fans for this captivating story from Dr. Bird's talented and versatile writing.
A COLONIAL FREE-LANCE. A story of American Colonial Times. By Chauncey C. Hotchkiss. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
A COLONIAL FREE-LANCE. A story from American Colonial Times. By Chauncey C. Hotchkiss. Cloth, 12mo, with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
A book that appeals to Americans as a vivid picture of Revolutionary scenes. The story is a strong one, a thrilling one. It causes the true American to flush with excitement, to devour chapter after chapter, until the eyes smart, and it fairly smokes with patriotism. The love story is a singularly charming idyl.
A book that captivates Americans with a vivid portrayal of Revolutionary scenes. The story is powerful and thrilling. It makes any true American feel excited, eagerly reading chapter after chapter until their eyes strain, filled with patriotism. The love story is a uniquely enchanting narrative.
THE TOWER OF LONDON. A Historical Romance of the Times of Lady Jane Grey and Mary Tudor. By Wm. Harrison Ainsworth. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by George Cruikshank. Price, $1.00.
THE TOWER OF LONDON. A Historical Romance of the Times of Lady Jane Grey and Mary Tudor. By Wm. Harrison Ainsworth. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by George Cruikshank. Price, $1.00.
This romance of the "Tower of London" depicts the Tower as palace, prison and fortress, with many historical associations. The era is the middle of the sixteenth century.
This story of the "Tower of London" portrays the Tower as a palace, prison, and fortress, filled with many historical connections. The time period is the mid-sixteenth century.
The story is divided into two parts, one dealing with Lady Jane Grey, and the other with Mary Tudor as Queen, introducing other notable characters of the era. Throughout the story holds the interest of the reader in the midst of intrigue and conspiracy, extending considerably over a half a century.
The story is split into two parts: one focuses on Lady Jane Grey, and the other on Mary Tudor as Queen, bringing in other significant figures from that time. Throughout the narrative, it keeps the reader engaged with intrigue and conspiracy, spanning well over fifty years.
IN DEFIANCE OF THE KING. A Romance of the American Revolution. By Chauncey C. Hotchkiss. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
IN DEFIANCE OF THE KING. A Romance of the American Revolution. By Chauncey C. Hotchkiss. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
Mr. Hotchkiss has etched in burning words a story of Yankee bravery, and true love that thrills from beginning to end, with the spirit of the Revolution. The heart beats quickly, and we feel ourselves taking a part in the exciting scenes described. His whole story is so absorbing that you will sit up far into the night to finish it. As a love romance it is charming.
Mr. Hotchkiss has crafted a gripping tale of American bravery and true love that captivates from start to finish, filled with the spirit of the Revolution. Your heart races as you immerse yourself in the thrilling scenes he depicts. The entire story is so engaging that you'll find yourself staying up late into the night to finish it. As a romantic narrative, it’s delightful.
GARTHOWEN. A story of a Welsh Homestead. By Allen Raine. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
GARTHOWEN. A tale of a Welsh homestead. By Allen Raine. Cloth, 12mo, with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
"This is a little idyl of humble life and enduring love, laid bare before us, very real and pure, which in its telling shows us some strong points of Welsh character—the pride, the hasty temper, the quick dying out of wrath.... We call this a well-written story, interesting alike through its romance and its glimpses into another life than ours. A delightful and clever picture of Welsh village life. The result is excellent."—Detroit Free Press.
"This is a simple story of everyday life and lasting love, presented to us in a genuine and pure way, which reveals some key traits of Welsh character—the pride, the quick temper, the swift fading of anger.... We consider this a well-crafted story, engaging both for its romance and for the insights it offers into a life different from ours. It's a charming and skillful portrayal of Welsh village life. The outcome is outstanding."—Detroit Free Press.
MIFANWY. The story of a Welsh Singer. By Allan Raine. Cloth, 12mo. with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price, $1.00.
MIFANWY. The story of a Welsh singer. By Allan Raine. Cloth, 12mo, with four illustrations by J. Watson Davis. Price: $1.00.
"This is a love story, simple, tender and pretty as one would care to read. The action throughout is brisk and pleasing; the characters, it is apparent at once, are as true to life as though the author had known them all personally. Simple in all its situations, the story is worked up in that touching and quaint strain which never grows wearisome, no matter how often the lights and shadows of love are introduced. It rings true, and does not tax the imagination."—Boston Herald.
"This is a love story, simple, heartfelt, and charming as anyone would want to read. The pace is lively and enjoyable; the characters are clearly drawn as if the author knew them all personally. The story unfolds in straightforward situations, woven together with a touching and whimsical tone that never feels tiresome, no matter how many times the ups and downs of love are explored. It feels authentic and doesn't strain the imagination."—Boston Herald.
For sale by all booksellers, or sent postpaid on receipt of price by the publishers, A. L. BURT COMPANY, 52-58 Duane St., New York.
For sale by all booksellers, or sent postage paid upon receipt of payment by the publishers, A. L. BURT COMPANY, 52-58 Duane St., New York.
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