This is a modern-English version of My Ántonia, originally written by Cather, Willa. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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My Ántonia

Optima dies … prima fugit
Virgil

Optima dies … prima fugit

Illustration: The Riverside Press
Boston and New York Houghton Mifflin Company The Riverside Press Cambridge 1918

To
Carrie and Irene Miner

To Carrie and Irene Miner

In memory of affections old and true

In memory of authentic and cherished emotions




[pg ix]

Intro

Last summer I happened to be crossing the plains of Iowa in a season of intense heat, and it was my good fortune to have for a traveling companion James Quayle Burden—Jim Burden, as we still call him in the West. He and I are old friends—we grew up together in the same Nebraska town—and we had much to say to each other. While the train flashed through never-ending miles of ripe wheat, by country towns and bright-flowered pastures and oak groves wilting in the sun, we sat in the observation car, where the woodwork was hot to the touch and red dust lay deep over everything. The dust and heat, the burning wind, reminded us of many things. We were talking about what it is like to spend one’s childhood in little towns like these, buried in wheat and corn, under stimulating extremes of climate: burning summers when the world lies green and billowy beneath a brilliant sky, when one is fairly stifled in vegetation, in the color and smell of strong weeds and heavy harvests; blustery winters with little snow, when the whole country is stripped bare and gray as sheet-iron. We agreed that no one who had not grown up in a little prairie town[pg x] could know anything about it. It was a kind of freemasonry, we said.

Last summer, I found myself crossing the plains of Iowa during a scorching heatwave, and I was lucky enough to have James Quayle Burden—Jim Burden, as we still call him in the West—as my traveling companion. We’re old friends; we grew up together in the same town in Nebraska, so we had plenty to talk about. While the train zipped through endless stretches of golden wheat, past small towns and vibrant flower-filled pastures and oak groves wilting in the heat, we sat in the observation car, where the wooden surfaces were hot to the touch and a thick layer of red dust settled over everything. The dust and heat, along with the blazing wind, brought back many memories. We were reminiscing about what it’s like to spend childhood in little towns like these, surrounded by wheat and corn, under extreme weather conditions: scorching summers when the world is lush and rolling under a bright sky, where the air is thick with the colors and scents of robust weeds and heavy harvests; gusty winters with little snow, when the entire landscape is bare and gray like sheet metal. We agreed that no one who hadn't grown up in a little prairie town[pg x] could understand it. We said it was a kind of brotherhood.

Although Jim Burden and I both live in New York, and are old friends, I do not see much of him there. He is legal counsel for one of the great Western railways, and is sometimes away from his New York office for weeks together. That is one reason why we do not often meet. Another is that I do not like his wife.

Although Jim Burden and I both live in New York and are old friends, I don’t see him much there. He works as a legal advisor for one of the major Western railways and is sometimes out of his New York office for weeks at a time. That's one reason we don’t meet often. Another reason is that I’m not fond of his wife.

When Jim was still an obscure young lawyer, struggling to make his way in New York, his career was suddenly advanced by a brilliant marriage. Genevieve Whitney was the only daughter of a distinguished man. Her marriage with young Burden was the subject of sharp comment at the time. It was said she had been brutally jilted by her cousin, Rutland Whitney, and that she married this unknown man from the West out of bravado. She was a restless, headstrong girl, even then, who liked to astonish her friends. Later, when I knew her, she was always doing something unexpected. She gave one of her town houses for a Suffrage headquarters, produced one of her own plays at the Princess Theater, was arrested for picketing during a garment-makers’ strike, etc. I am never able to believe that she has much feeling for the causes to which she lends her name and her fleeting interest. She is handsome, energetic,[pg xi] executive, but to me she seems unimpressionable and temperamentally incapable of enthusiasm. Her husband’s quiet tastes irritate her, I think, and she finds it worth while to play the patroness to a group of young poets and painters of advanced ideas and mediocre ability. She has her own fortune and lives her own life. For some reason, she wishes to remain Mrs. James Burden.

When Jim was still an unknown young lawyer trying to find his way in New York, his career suddenly took off with a remarkable marriage. Genevieve Whitney was the only daughter of a prominent man. Her marriage to young Burden was widely talked about at the time. People said she had been brutally dumped by her cousin, Rutland Whitney, and that she married this unknown guy from the West out of spite. She was a restless, headstrong girl even then, eager to shock her friends. Later, when I got to know her, she was always doing something unpredictable. She turned one of her townhouses into a Suffrage headquarters, produced one of her own plays at the Princess Theater, got arrested for picketing during a garment workers’ strike, etc. I can never quite believe that she truly cares for the causes she supports with her name and brief interest. She’s beautiful, energetic,[pg xi] and capable, but to me, she seems unresponsive and emotionally incapable of enthusiasm. I think her husband’s quiet tastes annoy her, and she finds it worthwhile to act as a patroness to a group of young poets and painters with bold ideas but mediocre talent. She has her own wealth and lives her own life. For some reason, she wants to continue being Ms. James Burden.

As for Jim, no disappointments have been severe enough to chill his naturally romantic and ardent disposition. This disposition, though it often made him seem very funny when he was a boy, has been one of the strongest elements in his success. He loves with a personal passion the great country through which his railway runs and branches. His faith in it and his knowledge of it have played an important part in its development. He is always able to raise capital for new enterprises in Wyoming or Montana, and has helped young men out there to do remarkable things in mines and timber and oil. If a young man with an idea can once get Jim Burden’s attention, can manage to accompany him when he goes off into the wilds hunting for lost parks or exploring new canyons, then the money which means action is usually forthcoming. Jim is still able to lose himself in those big Western dreams. Though he is over forty now, he meets new people and new enterprises[pg xii] with the impulsiveness by which his boyhood friends remember him. He never seems to me to grow older. His fresh color and sandy hair and quick-changing blue eyes are those of a young man, and his sympathetic, solicitous interest in women is as youthful as it is Western and American.

As for Jim, no disappointments have been tough enough to dampen his naturally romantic and passionate personality. This personality, which often made him seem quite amusing as a kid, has been one of the key factors in his success. He has a deep love for the vast country that his railway travels through. His belief in it and his understanding of it have played a significant role in its growth. He can always gather funds for new projects in Wyoming or Montana and has assisted young people there in achieving remarkable things in mining, timber, and oil. If a young man with an idea can catch Jim Burden’s attention and manage to join him when he ventures into the wilderness to hunt for lost parks or explore new canyons, the funds needed to make things happen usually follow. Jim can still lose himself in those grand Western dreams. Even though he’s over forty now, he approaches new people and ventures[pg xii] with the enthusiasm that his childhood friends remember. He never seems to age to me. His fresh complexion, sandy hair, and quick-changing blue eyes belong to a young man, and his caring, attentive interest in women is as youthful as it is distinctly Western and American.

During that burning day when we were crossing Iowa, our talk kept returning to a central figure, a Bohemian girl whom we had known long ago and whom both of us admired. More than any other person we remembered, this girl seemed to mean to us the country, the conditions, the whole adventure of our childhood. To speak her name was to call up pictures of people and places, to set a quiet drama going in one’s brain. I had lost sight of her altogether, but Jim had found her again after long years, had renewed a friendship that meant a great deal to him, and out of his busy life had set apart time enough to enjoy that friendship. His mind was full of her that day. He made me see her again, feel her presence, revived all my old affection for her.

On that sweltering day when we were driving through Iowa, our conversation kept circling back to a central figure, a Bohemian girl we had known long ago and both admired. More than anyone else we could think of, she represented to us the country, the experiences, the entire adventure of our childhood. Just saying her name brought up images of people and places, igniting a subtle drama in our minds. I had completely lost track of her, but Jim had reconnected with her after many years, renewing a friendship that was really important to him, and he had carved out time from his busy life to enjoy it. His thoughts were filled with her that day. He made me see her again, feel her presence, and revived all my old feelings for her.

“I can’t see,” he said impetuously, “why you have never written anything about Ántonia.”

“I can’t see,” he said impulsively, “why you’ve never written anything about Ántonia.”

I told him I had always felt that other people—he himself, for one—knew her much better than I. I was ready, however, to make an agreement with him; I would set down on paper all[pg xiii] that I remembered of Ántonia if he would do the same. We might, in this way, get a picture of her.

I told him I had always felt that other people—him, for example—knew her way better than I did. However, I was ready to strike a deal with him; I would write down everything I remembered about Ántonia if he would do the same. This way, we might build a picture of her.

He rumpled his hair with a quick, excited gesture, which with him often announces a new determination, and I could see that my suggestion took hold of him. “Maybe I will, maybe I will!” he declared. He stared out of the window for a few moments, and when he turned to me again his eyes had the sudden clearness that comes from something the mind itself sees. “Of course,” he said, “I should have to do it in a direct way, and say a great deal about myself. It’s through myself that I knew and felt her, and I’ve had no practice in any other form of presentation.”

He tousled his hair with a quick, excited motion, which usually signals a new decision for him, and I could see that my suggestion resonated with him. “Maybe I will, maybe I will!” he said. He gazed out the window for a few moments, and when he turned back to me, his eyes had the sharp clarity that comes from a realization the mind has uncovered. “Of course,” he added, “I would need to approach it directly and share a lot about myself. It’s through my own experiences that I knew and felt her, and I haven’t practiced any other way of presenting myself.”

I told him that how he knew her and felt her was exactly what I most wanted to know about Ántonia. He had had opportunities that I, as a little girl who watched her come and go, had not.

I told him that how he knew her and what he felt about her was exactly what I wanted to know most about Ántonia. He had experiences that I, as a little girl who just watched her come and go, didn’t have.

 

Months afterward Jim Burden arrived at my apartment one stormy winter afternoon, with a bulging legal portfolio sheltered under his fur overcoat. He brought it into the sitting-room with him and tapped it with some pride as he stood warming his hands.

Months later, Jim Burden showed up at my apartment on a stormy winter afternoon, carrying a stuffed legal portfolio tucked under his fur overcoat. He brought it into the living room with him and tapped it with a bit of pride as he stood there warming his hands.

“I finished it last night—the thing about Ántonia,” he said. “Now, what about yours?”

“I wrapped it up last night—the piece about Ántonia,” he said. “So, what about yours?”

[pg xiv]

I had to confess that mine had not gone beyond a few straggling notes.

I had to admit that mine hadn't gone past a few scattered notes.

“Notes? I did n’t make any.” He drank his tea all at once and put down the cup. “I did n’t arrange or rearrange. I simply wrote down what of herself and myself and other people Ántonia’s name recalls to me. I suppose it has n’t any form. It has n’t any title, either.” He went into the next room, sat down at my desk and wrote on the pinkish face of the portfolio the word, “Ántonia.” He frowned at this a moment, then prefixed another word, making it “My Ántonia.” That seemed to satisfy him.

“Notes? I didn’t make any.” He drank his tea in one go and put down the cup. “I didn’t arrange or rearrange. I just wrote down what Ántonia’s name brings to mind about her, myself, and other people. I guess it doesn’t really have any form. It doesn’t have a title, either.” He went into the next room, sat down at my desk, and wrote the word “Ántonia” on the pinkish surface of the portfolio. He frowned at it for a moment, then added another word, making it “My Ántonia.” That seemed to satisfy him.

“Read it as soon as you can,” he said, rising, “but don’t let it influence your own story.”

“Read it as soon as you can,” he said, getting up, “but don’t let it affect your own story.”

My own story was never written, but the following narrative is Jim’s manuscript, substantially as he brought it to me.

My own story was never written, but the following narrative is Jim's manuscript, pretty much as he handed it to me.


[pg 003]

Book I— The Shimerdas

I

I first heard of Ántonia1 on what seemed to me an interminable journey across the great midland plain of North America. I was ten years old then; I had lost both my father and mother within a year, and my Virginia relatives were sending me out to my grandparents, who lived in Nebraska. I traveled in the care of a mountain boy, Jake Marpole, one of the “hands” on my father’s old farm under the Blue Ridge, who was now going West to work for my grandfather. Jake’s experience of the world was not much wider than mine. He had never been in a railway train until the morning when we set out together to try our fortunes in a new world.

I first heard of Ántonia1 on what felt like an endless journey across the vast plains of North America. I was ten years old then; I had lost both my parents within a year, and my relatives in Virginia were sending me to live with my grandparents in Nebraska. I traveled under the supervision of a mountain boy named Jake Marpole, who worked on my father’s old farm in the Blue Ridge and was now heading West to work for my grandfather. Jake’s knowledge of the world wasn’t much broader than mine. He had never been on a train until the morning we set out together to seek our fortunes in a new world.

[pg 004]

We went all the way in day-coaches, becoming more sticky and grimy with each stage of the journey. Jake bought everything the newsboys offered him: candy, oranges, brass collar buttons, a watch-charm, and for me a “Life of Jesse James,” which I remember as one of the most satisfactory books I have ever read. Beyond Chicago we were under the protection of a friendly passenger conductor, who knew all about the country to which we were going and gave us a great deal of advice in exchange for our confidence. He seemed to us an experienced and worldly man who had been almost everywhere; in his conversation he threw out lightly the names of distant States and cities. He wore the rings and pins and badges of different fraternal orders to which he belonged. Even his cuff-buttons were engraved with hieroglyphics, and he was more inscribed than an Egyptian obelisk. Once when he sat down to chat, he told us that in the immigrant car ahead there was a family from “across the water” whose destination was the same as ours.

We traveled all the way in day coaches, getting stickier and grimier with each leg of the trip. Jake bought everything the newsboys had to sell: candy, oranges, brass collar buttons, a watch charm, and for me a “Life of Jesse James,” which I remember as one of the best books I've ever read. After we left Chicago, we were under the watchful eye of a friendly conductor, who knew all about where we were headed and shared a lot of advice in return for our trust. He seemed like a seasoned and worldly guy who had traveled nearly everywhere; he casually mentioned the names of far-off states and cities in his conversations. He wore rings, pins, and badges from various fraternal organizations he belonged to. Even his cuff buttons were engraved with symbols, making him more adorned than an Egyptian obelisk. Once, when he sat down to chat with us, he mentioned there was a family in the immigrant car ahead from “across the water” that was headed to the same place as us.

“They can’t any of them speak English, except one little girl, and all she can say is ‘We go Black Hawk, Nebraska.’ She’s not[pg 005] much older than you, twelve or thirteen, maybe, and she’s as bright as a new dollar. Don’t you want to go ahead and see her, Jimmy? She’s got the pretty brown eyes, too!”

“They can’t speak any English, except for one little girl, and all she can say is ‘We go Black Hawk, Nebraska.’ She’s not much older than you, maybe twelve or thirteen, and she’s as smart as a whip. Don’t you want to go see her, Jimmy? She’s got pretty brown eyes, too!”

This last remark made me bashful, and I shook my head and settled down to “Jesse James.” Jake nodded at me approvingly and said you were likely to get diseases from foreigners.

This last comment made me feel shy, so I shook my head and focused on "Jesse James." Jake gave me an approving nod and mentioned that you could probably catch diseases from foreigners.

I do not remember crossing the Missouri River, or anything about the long day’s journey through Nebraska. Probably by that time I had crossed so many rivers that I was dull to them. The only thing very noticeable about Nebraska was that it was still, all day long, Nebraska.

I don’t remember crossing the Missouri River or anything about the long day’s trip through Nebraska. By that point, I’d probably crossed so many rivers that I had become indifferent to them. The only really noticeable thing about Nebraska was that it was just Nebraska all day long.

I had been sleeping, curled up in a red plush seat, for a long while when we reached Black Hawk. Jake roused me and took me by the hand. We stumbled down from the train to a wooden siding, where men were running about with lanterns. I could n’t see any town, or even distant lights; we were surrounded by utter darkness. The engine was panting heavily after its long run. In the red glow from the fire-box, a group of people stood[pg 006] huddled together on the platform, encumbered by bundles and boxes. I knew this must be the immigrant family the conductor had told us about. The woman wore a fringed shawl tied over her head, and she carried a little tin trunk in her arms, hugging it as if it were a baby. There was an old man, tall and stooped. Two half-grown boys and a girl stood holding oil-cloth bundles, and a little girl clung to her mother’s skirts. Presently a man with a lantern approached them and began to talk, shouting and exclaiming. I pricked up my ears, for it was positively the first time I had ever heard a foreign tongue.

I had been sleeping, curled up in a red plush seat, for a long time when we arrived in Black Hawk. Jake woke me up and took my hand. We stumbled off the train onto a wooden platform, where men were running around with lanterns. I couldn’t see any town or even distant lights; we were surrounded by complete darkness. The engine was puffing heavily after its long journey. In the red glow from the firebox, a group of people stood[pg 006] huddled together on the platform, weighed down by bags and boxes. I recognized that this must be the immigrant family the conductor had mentioned. The woman wore a fringed shawl tied over her head and carried a little tin trunk in her arms, holding it as if it were a baby. There was an old man, tall and hunched over. Two teenage boys and a girl stood holding oilcloth bundles, and a little girl clung to her mother’s skirt. Soon, a man with a lantern approached them and started talking loudly, shouting and gesturing. I perked up because it was definitely the first time I had ever heard a foreign language.

Another lantern came along. A bantering voice called out: “Hello, are you Mr. Burden’s folks? If you are, it’s me you’re looking for. I’m Otto Fuchs. I’m Mr. Burden’s hired man, and I’m to drive you out. Hello, Jimmy, ain’t you scared to come so far west?”

Another lantern came into view. A teasing voice shouted: “Hey, are you Mr. Burden’s people? If you are, I’m the one you’re looking for. I’m Otto Fuchs. I’m Mr. Burden’s hired hand, and I’m here to take you out. Hey, Jimmy, aren’t you scared to come this far west?”

Illustration: Immigrant family huddled together on the train platform

I looked up with interest at the new face in the lantern light. He might have stepped out of the pages of “Jesse James.” He wore a sombrero hat, with a wide leather band and a bright buckle, and the ends of his mustache were twisted up stiffly, like little horns. He looked lively and ferocious, I thought, and[pg 007] as if he had a history. A long scar ran across one cheek and drew the corner of his mouth up in a sinister curl. The top of his left ear was gone, and his skin was brown as an Indian’s. Surely this was the face of a desperado. As he walked about the platform in his high-heeled boots, looking for our trunks, I saw that he was a rather slight man, quick and wiry, and light on his feet. He told us we had a long night drive ahead of us, and had better be on the hike. He led us to a hitching-bar where two farm wagons were tied, and I saw the foreign family crowding into one of them. The other was for us. Jake got on the front seat with Otto Fuchs, and I rode on the straw in the bottom of the wagon-box, covered up with a buffalo hide. The immigrants rumbled off into the empty darkness, and we followed them.

I looked up with curiosity at the new person in the lantern light. He could have stepped right out of the pages of “Jesse James.” He wore a sombrero with a wide leather band and a shiny buckle, and the ends of his mustache were twisted up stiffly, like little horns. He seemed lively and fierce, and it felt like he had a story to tell. A long scar ran across one cheek, pulling the corner of his mouth into a sinister curl. The top of his left ear was missing, and his skin was as brown as an Indian’s. This was definitely the face of a desperado. As he walked around the platform in his high-heeled boots, looking for our trunks, I noticed he was a pretty slender guy, quick and wiry, and light on his feet. He told us we had a long night drive ahead and needed to get moving. He led us to a hitching-bar where two farm wagons were tied, and I saw the foreign family crowding into one of them. The other was for us. Jake sat in the front seat with Otto Fuchs, and I rode on the straw in the bottom of the wagon, covered up with a buffalo hide. The immigrants rumbled off into the empty darkness, and we followed them.

I tried to go to sleep, but the jolting made me bite my tongue, and I soon began to ache all over. When the straw settled down I had a hard bed. Cautiously I slipped from under the buffalo hide, got up on my knees and peered over the side of the wagon. There seemed to be nothing to see; no fences, no creeks or trees, no hills or fields. If there was[pg 008] a road, I could not make it out in the faint starlight. There was nothing but land: not a country at all, but the material out of which countries are made. No, there was nothing but land—slightly undulating, I knew, because often our wheels ground against the brake as we went down into a hollow and lurched up again on the other side. I had the feeling that the world was left behind, that we had got over the edge of it, and were outside man’s jurisdiction. I had never before looked up at the sky when there was not a familiar mountain ridge against it. But this was the complete dome of heaven, all there was of it. I did not believe that my dead father and mother were watching me from up there; they would still be looking for me at the sheep-fold down by the creek, or along the white road that led to the mountain pastures. I had left even their spirits behind me. The wagon jolted on, carrying me I knew not whither. I don’t think I was homesick. If we never arrived anywhere, it did not matter. Between that earth and that sky I felt erased, blotted out. I did not say my prayers that night: here, I felt, what would be would be.

I tried to sleep, but the jolting made me bite my tongue, and soon I was aching all over. When the straw settled, I had a hard bed. Carefully, I slipped out from under the buffalo hide, got on my knees, and peered over the side of the wagon. There didn’t seem to be anything to see; no fences, no creeks or trees, no hills or fields. If there was a road, I couldn’t make it out in the dim starlight. There was nothing but land: not a country at all, but the raw material that makes up countries. No, there was nothing but land—slightly rolling, I knew, because our wheels frequently ground against the brake as we went down into a dip and lurched up again on the other side. I felt like the world was left behind, that we had crossed the edge of it, and were outside human control. I had never looked up at the sky without a familiar mountain range against it. But this was the entire dome of heaven, all there was to see. I didn’t believe my dead parents were watching me from up there; they would still be searching for me at the sheep-fold by the creek, or along the white road that led to the mountain pastures. I had left even their spirits behind. The wagon jolted on, taking me who knows where. I don’t think I was homesick. If we never arrived anywhere, it didn’t matter. Between that earth and that sky, I felt erased, blotted out. I didn’t say my prayers that night: here, I felt, whatever would happen, would happen.


[pg 009]

II

I do not remember our arrival at my grandfather’s farm sometime before daybreak, after a drive of nearly twenty miles with heavy work-horses. When I awoke, it was afternoon. I was lying in a little room, scarcely larger than the bed that held me, and the window-shade at my head was flapping softly in a warm wind. A tall woman, with wrinkled brown skin and black hair, stood looking down at me; I knew that she must be my grandmother. She had been crying, I could see, but when I opened my eyes she smiled, peered at me anxiously, and sat down on the foot of my bed.

I do not remember our arrival at my grandfather’s farm sometime before dawn, after a nearly twenty-mile drive with strong workhorses. When I woke up, it was afternoon. I was lying in a small room, barely larger than the bed I was in, and the window shade above my head was fluttering gently in a warm breeze. A tall woman with wrinkled brown skin and black hair was looking down at me; I realized she must be my grandmother. She had obviously been crying, but when I opened my eyes, she smiled, looked at me with concern, and sat down at the foot of my bed.

“Had a good sleep, Jimmy?” she asked briskly. Then in a very different tone she said, as if to herself, “My, how you do look like your father!” I remembered that my father had been her little boy; she must often have come to wake him like this when he overslept. “Here are your clean clothes,” she went on, stroking my coverlid with her brown hand as she talked. “But first you come down to the kitchen with me, and have a nice warm bath[pg 010] behind the stove. Bring your things; there’s nobody about.”

“Did you sleep well, Jimmy?” she asked briskly. Then, in a noticeably softer tone, she said, almost to herself, “Wow, you really look like your dad!” I remembered that my dad had been her little boy; she must have often come to wake him like this when he slept in. “Here are your clean clothes,” she continued, smoothing my blanket with her brown hand as she spoke. “But first, come down to the kitchen with me and take a nice warm bath behind the stove. Bring your stuff; there’s no one around.”

“Down to the kitchen” struck me as curious; it was always “out in the kitchen” at home. I picked up my shoes and stockings and followed her through the living-room and down a flight of stairs into a basement. This basement was divided into a dining-room at the right of the stairs and a kitchen at the left. Both rooms were plastered and whitewashed—the plaster laid directly upon the earth walls, as it used to be in dugouts. The floor was of hard cement. Up under the wooden ceiling there were little half-windows with white curtains, and pots of geraniums and wandering Jew in the deep sills. As I entered the kitchen I sniffed a pleasant smell of gingerbread baking. The stove was very large, with bright nickel trimmings, and behind it there was a long wooden bench against the wall, and a tin washtub, into which grandmother poured hot and cold water. When she brought the soap and towels, I told her that I was used to taking my bath without help.

“Down to the kitchen” struck me as odd; it was always “out in the kitchen” at home. I picked up my shoes and stockings and followed her through the living room and down a flight of stairs into a basement. This basement was divided into a dining room on the right of the stairs and a kitchen on the left. Both rooms were plastered and whitewashed—the plaster laid directly on the earth walls, like it used to be in dugouts. The floor was made of hard cement. Up under the wooden ceiling, there were little half-windows with white curtains, and pots of geraniums and wandering Jew in the deep sills. As I entered the kitchen, I caught a pleasant smell of gingerbread baking. The stove was very large, with shiny nickel trimmings, and behind it was a long wooden bench against the wall, along with a tin washtub that grandmother filled with hot and cold water. When she brought the soap and towels, I told her that I was used to taking my bath on my own.

“Can you do your ears, Jimmy? Are you sure? Well, now, I call you a right smart little boy.”

“Can you wiggle your ears, Jimmy? Are you sure? Well, I’d say you’re a pretty clever little boy.”

[pg 011]

It was pleasant there in the kitchen. The sun shone into my bath-water through the west half-window, and a big Maltese cat came up and rubbed himself against the tub, watching me curiously. While I scrubbed, my grandmother busied herself in the dining-room until I called anxiously, “Grandmother, I’m afraid the cakes are burning!” Then she came laughing, waving her apron before her as if she were shooing chickens.

It was nice in the kitchen. The sun streamed through the west half-window into my bathwater, and a big Maltese cat came over and rubbed against the tub, watching me with curiosity. While I scrubbed, my grandmother was busy in the dining room until I called out worriedly, “Grandmother, I think the cakes are burning!” Then she came laughing, waving her apron like she was shooing away chickens.

She was a spare, tall woman, a little stooped, and she was apt to carry her head thrust forward in an attitude of attention, as if she were looking at something, or listening to something, far away. As I grew older, I came to believe that it was only because she was so often thinking of things that were far away. She was quick-footed and energetic in all her movements. Her voice was high and rather shrill, and she often spoke with an anxious inflection, for she was exceedingly desirous that everything should go with due order and decorum. Her laugh, too, was high, and perhaps a little strident, but there was a lively intelligence in it. She was then fifty-five years old, a strong woman, of unusual endurance.

She was a tall, lean woman, slightly hunched, and she tended to hold her head forward as if she were focused on something far away. As I got older, I came to realize that it was probably because she often thought about distant things. She moved quickly and energetically. Her voice was high and somewhat shrill, and she usually spoke with an anxious tone, as she desperately wanted everything to go smoothly and appropriately. Her laughter was also high, maybe a bit piercing, but it was filled with lively intelligence. At that time, she was fifty-five years old, a strong woman with remarkable endurance.

After I was dressed I explored the long cellar[pg 012] next the kitchen. It was dug out under the wing of the house, was plastered and cemented, with a stairway and an outside door by which the men came and went. Under one of the windows there was a place for them to wash when they came in from work.

After I got dressed, I checked out the long cellar[pg 012] next to the kitchen. It was dug out beneath the side of the house, plastered and cemented, with a stairway and an outside door for the workers to come and go. There was a spot under one of the windows for them to wash up when they came in from work.

While my grandmother was busy about supper I settled myself on the wooden bench behind the stove and got acquainted with the cat—he caught not only rats and mice, but gophers, I was told. The patch of yellow sunlight on the floor traveled back toward the stairway, and grandmother and I talked about my journey, and about the arrival of the new Bohemian family; she said they were to be our nearest neighbors. We did not talk about the farm in Virginia, which had been her home for so many years. But after the men came in from the fields, and we were all seated at the supper-table, then she asked Jake about the old place and about our friends and neighbors there.

While my grandmother was busy making dinner, I settled onto the wooden bench behind the stove and got to know the cat—he caught not only rats and mice but also gophers, I was told. The patch of yellow sunlight on the floor moved back toward the stairway, and my grandmother and I talked about my trip and the new Bohemian family moving in; she mentioned they would be our nearest neighbors. We didn’t discuss the farm in Virginia, which had been her home for so many years. But after the men came in from the fields and we were all seated at the dinner table, she asked Jake about the old place and about our friends and neighbors there.

My grandfather said little. When he first came in he kissed me and spoke kindly to me, but he was not demonstrative. I felt at once his deliberateness and personal dignity, and was a little in awe of him. The thing one[pg 013] immediately noticed about him was his beautiful, crinkly, snow-white beard. I once heard a missionary say it was like the beard of an Arabian sheik. His bald crown only made it more impressive.

My grandfather didn’t say much. When he first walked in, he kissed me and spoke to me nicely, but he wasn’t very expressive. I could immediately sense his carefulness and personal dignity, and I felt a little intimidated by him. The first thing you noticed about him was his beautiful, crinkly, snow-white beard. I once heard a missionary say it looked like the beard of an Arabian sheik. His bald head only made it more striking.

Grandfather’s eyes were not at all like those of an old man; they were bright blue, and had a fresh, frosty sparkle. His teeth were white and regular—so sound that he had never been to a dentist in his life. He had a delicate skin, easily roughened by sun and wind. When he was a young man his hair and beard were red; his eyebrows were still coppery.

Grandfather’s eyes didn’t look like those of an old man at all; they were bright blue and had a fresh, frosty sparkle. His teeth were white and straight—so healthy that he had never been to a dentist in his life. He had delicate skin that was easily roughened by the sun and wind. When he was younger, his hair and beard were red; his eyebrows were still coppery.

As we sat at the table Otto Fuchs and I kept stealing covert glances at each other. Grandmother had told me while she was getting supper that he was an Austrian who came to this country a young boy and had led an adventurous life in the Far West among mining-camps and cow outfits. His iron constitution was somewhat broken by mountain pneumonia, and he had drifted back to live in a milder country for a while. He had relatives in Bismarck, a German settlement to the north of us, but for a year now he had been working for grandfather.

As Otto Fuchs and I sat at the table, we kept sneaking glances at each other. My grandmother had told me while preparing supper that he was an Austrian who had come to this country as a young boy and had lived an adventurous life in the Far West among mining camps and ranches. His strong constitution had been somewhat weakened by mountain pneumonia, and he had returned to live in a milder climate for a while. He had relatives in Bismarck, a German settlement to the north of us, but for the past year, he had been working for my grandfather.

[pg 014]

The minute supper was over, Otto took me into the kitchen to whisper to me about a pony down in the barn that had been bought for me at a sale; he had been riding him to find out whether he had any bad tricks, but he was a “perfect gentleman,” and his name was Dude. Fuchs told me everything I wanted to know: how he had lost his ear in a Wyoming blizzard when he was a stage-driver, and how to throw a lasso. He promised to rope a steer for me before sundown next day. He got out his “chaps” and silver spurs to show them to Jake and me, and his best cowboy boots, with tops stitched in bold design—roses, and true-lover’s knots, and undraped female figures. These, he solemnly explained, were angels.

As soon as supper was done, Otto took me into the kitchen to quietly tell me about a pony in the barn that had been bought for me at an auction; he had been riding him to see if he had any bad habits, but he was a “perfect gentleman,” and his name was Dude. Fuchs shared everything I wanted to know: how he lost his ear in a Wyoming blizzard when he was a stagecoach driver, and how to throw a lasso. He promised to rope a steer for me before sundown the next day. He pulled out his “chaps” and silver spurs to show Jake and me, along with his best cowboy boots, which had intricate designs stitched on the tops—roses, true-lover’s knots, and uncovered female figures. He solemnly explained that these were angels.

Before we went to bed Jake and Otto were called up to the living-room for prayers. Grandfather put on silver-rimmed spectacles and read several Psalms. His voice was so sympathetic and he read so interestingly that I wished he had chosen one of my favorite chapters in the Book of Kings. I was awed by his intonation of the word “Selah.” “He shall choose our inheritance for us, the excellency of Jacob whom He loved. Selah.” I had no idea what the word meant; perhaps he had not.[pg 015] But, as he uttered it, it became oracular, the most sacred of words.

Before we went to bed, Jake and Otto were called up to the living room for prayers. Grandfather put on his silver-rimmed glasses and read several Psalms. His voice was so warm and he read in such an engaging way that I wished he had picked one of my favorite chapters from the Book of Kings. I was mesmerized by the way he pronounced the word “Selah.” “He will choose our inheritance for us, the greatness of Jacob whom He loved. Selah.” I had no clue what that word meant; maybe he didn’t either. But as he said it, it felt profound, the most sacred of words.

Early the next morning I ran out of doors to look about me. I had been told that ours was the only wooden house west of Black Hawk—until you came to the Norwegian settlement, where there were several. Our neighbors lived in sod houses and dugouts—comfortable, but not very roomy. Our white frame house, with a story and half-story above the basement, stood at the east end of what I might call the farmyard, with the windmill close by the kitchen door. From the windmill the ground sloped westward, down to the barns and granaries and pig-yards. This slope was trampled hard and bare, and washed out in winding gullies by the rain. Beyond the corncribs, at the bottom of the shallow draw, was a muddy little pond, with rusty willow bushes growing about it. The road from the post-office came directly by our door, crossed the farmyard, and curved round this little pond, beyond which it began to climb the gentle swell of unbroken prairie to the west. There, along the western sky-line, it skirted a great cornfield, much larger than any field I had ever seen. This cornfield, and the[pg 016] sorghum patch behind the barn, were the only broken land in sight. Everywhere, as far as the eye could reach, there was nothing but rough, shaggy, red grass, most of it as tall as I.

Early the next morning, I ran outside to look around. I had heard that our house was the only wooden one west of Black Hawk—until you reached the Norwegian settlement, where there were several. Our neighbors lived in sod houses and dugouts—they were cozy but not very spacious. Our white frame house, with a story and a half above the basement, sat at the east end of what I would call the farmyard, with the windmill right by the kitchen door. From the windmill, the ground sloped westward down to the barns, granaries, and pig pens. This slope was trampled down and bare, with rain creating winding gullies in the soil. Beyond the corncribs, at the bottom of the shallow draw, was a muddy little pond, surrounded by scraggly willow bushes. The road from the post office ran right by our door, crossed the farmyard, and curved around this little pond, then began to rise gently over the unbroken prairie to the west. There, along the western skyline, it skirted a vast cornfield, much larger than any field I had ever seen. This cornfield and the[pg 016] sorghum patch behind the barn were the only cultivated land in sight. Everywhere else, as far as I could see, there was just rough, shaggy red grass, most of it as tall as I was.

North of the house, inside the ploughed fire-breaks, grew a thick-set strip of box-elder trees, low and bushy, their leaves already turning yellow. This hedge was nearly a quarter of a mile long, but I had to look very hard to see it at all. The little trees were insignificant against the grass. It seemed as if the grass were about to run over them, and over the plum-patch behind the sod chicken-house.

North of the house, in the plowed fire-breaks, there was a dense line of box-elder trees, short and bushy, their leaves already changing to yellow. This hedge stretched for almost a quarter of a mile, but I had to really focus to notice it. The small trees looked unremarkable next to the grass. It felt like the grass was ready to swallow them up, along with the plum patch behind the old chicken coop.

As I looked about me I felt that the grass was the country, as the water is the sea. The red of the grass made all the great prairie the color of wine-stains, or of certain seaweeds when they are first washed up. And there was so much motion in it; the whole country seemed, somehow, to be running.

As I looked around, I felt that the grass represented the countryside, just like water represents the sea. The red of the grass turned the entire prairie the color of red wine stains or certain seaweeds when they're first washed up. There was so much movement in it; the whole landscape seemed, in a way, to be alive and in motion.

I had almost forgotten that I had a grandmother, when she came out, her sunbonnet on her head, a grain-sack in her hand, and asked me if I did not want to go to the garden with her to dig potatoes for dinner. The garden, curiously enough, was a quarter of a mile from[pg 017] the house, and the way to it led up a shallow draw past the cattle corral. Grandmother called my attention to a stout hickory cane, tipped with copper, which hung by a leather thong from her belt. This, she said, was her rattlesnake cane. I must never go to the garden without a heavy stick or a corn-knife; she had killed a good many rattlers on her way back and forth. A little girl who lived on the Black Hawk road was bitten on the ankle and had been sick all summer.

I had almost forgotten that I had a grandmother when she came out, her sun hat on her head, a grain sack in her hand, and asked me if I wanted to go to the garden with her to dig potatoes for dinner. The garden, interestingly enough, was a quarter of a mile from[pg 017] the house, and the path to it went up a gentle slope past the cattle corral. Grandmother pointed out a sturdy hickory cane, tipped with copper, which hung from a leather strap on her belt. She said this was her rattlesnake cane. I must never go to the garden without a heavy stick or a corn knife; she had killed quite a few rattlers on her trips back and forth. A little girl who lived on the Black Hawk road was bitten on the ankle and had been sick all summer.

I can remember exactly how the country looked to me as I walked beside my grandmother along the faint wagon-tracks on that early September morning. Perhaps the glide of long railway travel was still with me, for more than anything else I felt motion in the landscape; in the fresh, easy-blowing morning wind, and in the earth itself, as if the shaggy grass were a sort of loose hide, and underneath it herds of wild buffalo were galloping, galloping …

I can remember exactly how the country looked to me as I walked beside my grandmother along the faint wagon tracks on that early September morning. Maybe the smoothness of long train travel was still with me, because more than anything else I felt movement in the landscape; in the fresh, easy breeze of the morning, and in the earth itself, as if the shaggy grass were a kind of loose skin, and underneath it herds of wild buffalo were galloping, galloping...

Alone, I should never have found the garden—except, perhaps, for the big yellow pumpkins that lay about unprotected by their withering vines—and I felt very little interest in it when I got there. I wanted to walk straight on[pg 018] through the red grass and over the edge of the world, which could not be very far away. The light air about me told me that the world ended here: only the ground and sun and sky were left, and if one went a little farther there would be only sun and sky, and one would float off into them, like the tawny hawks which sailed over our heads making slow shadows on the grass. While grandmother took the pitchfork we found standing in one of the rows and dug potatoes, while I picked them up out of the soft brown earth and put them into the bag, I kept looking up at the hawks that were doing what I might so easily do.

Alone, I wouldn’t have discovered the garden—except, maybe, for the large yellow pumpkins scattered around, unprotected by their dying vines—and I felt very little interest in it when I finally arrived. I wanted to push through the red grass and over the edge of the world, which couldn’t be that far away. The light breeze around me suggested that the world ended here: only the ground, sun, and sky were left, and if one went a little further, there would be just sun and sky, and one would float off into them, like the tawny hawks soaring above us, casting slow shadows on the grass. While grandmother took the pitchfork we found in one of the rows and dug up potatoes, I picked them out of the soft brown earth and tossed them into the bag, all the while glancing up at the hawks that were doing what I could so easily do.

When grandmother was ready to go, I said I would like to stay up there in the garden awhile.

When Grandma was ready to leave, I said I wanted to stay up in the garden for a bit longer.

She peered down at me from under her sunbonnet. “Are n’t you afraid of snakes?”

She looked down at me from under her sun hat. “Aren’t you afraid of snakes?”

“A little,” I admitted, “but I’d like to stay anyhow.”

“A bit,” I admitted, “but I’d still like to stay.”

“Well, if you see one, don’t have anything to do with him. The big yellow and brown ones won’t hurt you; they’re bull-snakes and help to keep the gophers down. Don’t be scared if you see anything look out of that[pg 019] hole in the bank over there. That’s a badger hole. He’s about as big as a big ’possum, and his face is striped, black and white. He takes a chicken once in a while, but I won’t let the men harm him. In a new country a body feels friendly to the animals. I like to have him come out and watch me when I’m at work.”

“Well, if you see one, stay away from him. The big yellow and brown ones are harmless; they’re bull snakes and help keep the gopher population down. Don’t be alarmed if you see anything poking out of that[pg 019] hole in the bank over there. That’s a badger hole. He’s about the size of a big opossum, and his face is striped, black and white. He occasionally takes a chicken, but I won’t let the men hurt him. In a new place, you feel a connection to the animals. I enjoy having him come out and watch me while I’m working.”

Grandmother swung the bag of potatoes over her shoulder and went down the path, leaning forward a little. The road followed the windings of the draw; when she came to the first bend she waved at me and disappeared. I was left alone with this new feeling of lightness and content.

Grandma threw the bag of potatoes over her shoulder and walked down the path, leaning forward a bit. The road curved along the landscape; when she reached the first bend, she waved at me and vanished. I was left alone with this new sense of lightness and happiness.

I sat down in the middle of the garden, where snakes could scarcely approach unseen, and leaned my back against a warm yellow pumpkin. There were some ground-cherry bushes growing along the furrows, full of fruit. I turned back the papery triangular sheaths that protected the berries and ate a few. All about me giant grasshoppers, twice as big as any I had ever seen, were doing acrobatic feats among the dried vines. The gophers scurried up and down the ploughed ground. There in the sheltered draw-bottom the wind did not blow very hard, but I could hear it [pg 020] singing its humming tune up on the level, and I could see the tall grasses wave. The earth was warm under me, and warm as I crumbled it through my fingers. Queer little red bugs came out and moved in slow squadrons around me. Their backs were polished vermilion, with black spots. I kept as still as I could. Nothing happened. I did not expect anything to happen. I was something that lay under the sun and felt it, like the pumpkins, and I did not want to be anything more. I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep.

I sat down in the middle of the garden, where snakes could hardly approach unnoticed, and leaned my back against a warm yellow pumpkin. There were some ground-cherry bushes growing along the furrows, full of fruit. I pulled back the papery triangular sheaths that protected the berries and ate a few. All around me, giant grasshoppers, twice as big as any I had ever seen, were performing acrobatic feats among the dried vines. The gophers scurried up and down the plowed ground. In the sheltered hollow, the wind didn't blow very hard, but I could hear it [pg 020] singing its humming tune above, and I could see the tall grasses sway. The earth was warm underneath me, and warm as I crumbled it through my fingers. Strange little red bugs came out and moved slowly around me. Their backs were shiny vermilion, with black spots. I stayed as still as I could. Nothing happened. I didn’t expect anything to happen. I was just something lying under the sun, feeling it, like the pumpkins, and I didn’t want to be anything more. I was completely happy. Maybe we feel like that when we die and become part of something whole, whether it’s sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. In any case, that’s happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and vast. When it happens, it comes as naturally as sleep.


[pg 021]

III

On Sunday morning Otto Fuchs was to drive us over to make the acquaintance of our new Bohemian neighbors. We were taking them some provisions, as they had come to live on a wild place where there was no garden or chicken-house, and very little broken land. Fuchs brought up a sack of potatoes and a piece of cured pork from the cellar, and grandmother packed some loaves of Saturday’s bread, a jar of butter, and several pumpkin pies in the straw of the wagon-box. We clambered up to the front seat and jolted off past the little pond and along the road that climbed to the big cornfield.

On Sunday morning, Otto Fuchs was going to drive us to meet our new Bohemian neighbors. We were bringing them some food since they had moved to a remote area with no garden or chicken coop, and very little arable land. Fuchs grabbed a sack of potatoes and a piece of cured pork from the cellar, while grandmother packed some loaves of Saturday's bread, a jar of butter, and several pumpkin pies in the straw in the wagon. We climbed up to the front seat and set off, bouncing past the little pond and along the road that led up to the big cornfield.

I could hardly wait to see what lay beyond that cornfield; but there was only red grass like ours, and nothing else, though from the high wagon-seat one could look off a long way. The road ran about like a wild thing, avoiding the deep draws, crossing them where they were wide and shallow. And all along it, wherever it looped or ran, the sunflowers grew; some of them were as big as little trees, with[pg 022] great rough leaves and many branches which bore dozens of blossoms. They made a gold ribbon across the prairie. Occasionally one of the horses would tear off with his teeth a plant full of blossoms, and walk along munching it, the flowers nodding in time to his bites as he ate down toward them.

I could hardly wait to see what was beyond that cornfield; but there was just red grass like ours, and nothing else, even though from the high wagon seat you could see a long way off. The road twisted around like a wild thing, steering clear of the deep draws, crossing them where they were wide and shallow. And all along it, wherever it bent or ran, the sunflowers grew; some of them were as big as small trees, with great rough leaves and many branches that held dozens of blossoms. They formed a golden ribbon across the prairie. Sometimes one of the horses would snatch a plant full of blossoms with his teeth and walk along munching it, the flowers bobbing in rhythm with his bites as he ate them down.

The Bohemian family, grandmother told me as we drove along, had bought the homestead of a fellow-countryman, Peter Krajiek, and had paid him more than it was worth. Their agreement with him was made before they left the old country, through a cousin of his, who was also a relative of Mrs. Shimerda. The Shimerdas were the first Bohemian family to come to this part of the county. Krajiek was their only interpreter, and could tell them anything he chose. They could not speak enough English to ask for advice, or even to make their most pressing wants known. One son, Fuchs said, was well-grown, and strong enough to work the land; but the father was old and frail and knew nothing about farming. He was a weaver by trade; had been a skilled workman on tapestries and upholstery materials. He had brought his fiddle with him, which would n’t be of much[pg 023] use here, though he used to pick up money by it at home.

The Bohemian family, my grandmother told me as we drove along, had purchased the homestead of a fellow countryman, Peter Krajiek, paying him more than it was worth. They made their deal with him before leaving the old country through a cousin of his, who was also related to Mrs. Shimerda. The Shimerdas were the first Bohemian family to settle in this part of the county. Krajiek was their only interpreter and could tell them whatever he wanted. They couldn’t speak enough English to ask for help or even express their most urgent needs. One son, Fuchs said, was well-built and strong enough to work the land; but the father was old and weak and knew nothing about farming. He was a weaver by trade and had been skilled in making tapestries and upholstery. He brought his violin with him, which wouldn't be very useful here, even though he used to earn money playing it back home.

“If they’re nice people, I hate to think of them spending the winter in that cave of Krajiek’s,” said grandmother. “It’s no better than a badger hole; no proper dugout at all. And I hear he’s made them pay twenty dollars for his old cookstove that ain’t worth ten.”

“If they’re good people, I really don’t like the idea of them spending the winter in that cave of Krajiek’s,” said grandmother. “It’s no better than a badger hole; not a proper dugout at all. And I’ve heard he’s charged them twenty dollars for his old cookstove that isn’t even worth ten.”

“Yes’m,” said Otto; “and he’s sold ’em his oxen and his two bony old horses for the price of good work-teams. I’d have interfered about the horses—the old man can understand some German—if I’d ’a’ thought it would do any good. But Bohemians has a natural distrust of Austrians.”

“Yes, ma'am,” said Otto; “and he’s sold his oxen and his two skinny old horses for the price of good work teams. I would have stepped in about the horses—the old man understands some German—if I thought it would help. But Bohemians have a natural distrust of Austrians.”

Grandmother looked interested. “Now, why is that, Otto?”

Grandma looked interested. “So, why is that, Otto?”

Fuchs wrinkled his brow and nose. “Well, ma’m, it’s politics. It would take me a long while to explain.”

Fuchs frowned and scrunched his nose. “Well, ma’am, it’s politics. It would take me a long time to explain.”

The land was growing rougher; I was told that we were approaching Squaw Creek, which cut up the west half of the Shimerdas’ place and made the land of little value for farming. Soon we could see the broken, grassy clay cliffs which indicated the windings of the[pg 024] stream, and the glittering tops of the cottonwoods and ash trees that grew down in the ravine. Some of the cottonwoods had already turned, and the yellow leaves and shining white bark made them look like the gold and silver trees in fairy tales.

The land was getting rougher; I was told we were getting close to Squaw Creek, which cut through the western part of the Shimerdas’ property and made the land not great for farming. Soon we could see the jagged, grassy clay cliffs that showed the twists of the[pg 024] stream, and the shining tops of the cottonwoods and ash trees that grew down in the ravine. Some of the cottonwoods had already changed color, and the yellow leaves and bright white bark made them look like the gold and silver trees from fairy tales.

As we approached the Shimerdas’ dwelling, I could still see nothing but rough red hillocks, and draws with shelving banks and long roots hanging out where the earth had crumbled away. Presently, against one of those banks, I saw a sort of shed, thatched with the same wine-colored grass that grew everywhere. Near it tilted a shattered windmill-frame, that had no wheel. We drove up to this skeleton to tie our horses, and then I saw a door and window sunk deep in the draw-bank. The door stood open, and a woman and a girl of fourteen ran out and looked up at us hopefully. A little girl trailed along behind them. The woman had on her head the same embroidered shawl with silk fringes that she wore when she had alighted from the train at Black Hawk. She was not old, but she was certainly not young. Her face was alert and lively, with a sharp chin and shrewd little eyes. She shook grandmother’s hand energetically.

As we got closer to the Shimerdas’ home, I still saw nothing but rough red hills and valleys with sloping banks and long roots sticking out where the ground had eroded. Soon, against one of those banks, I spotted a kind of shed, thatched with the same wine-colored grass that grew everywhere. Nearby was a tilted, broken windmill frame with no wheel. We drove up to this skeleton to tie our horses, and then I noticed a door and window set deep in the bank. The door was open, and a woman and a fourteen-year-old girl ran out and looked up at us with hope. A little girl trailed behind them. The woman wore the same embroidered shawl with silk fringes that she had on when she got off the train at Black Hawk. She wasn’t old, but she was definitely not young. Her face was alert and lively, with a sharp chin and clever little eyes. She shook grandmother’s hand vigorously.

[pg 025]

“Very glad, very glad!” she ejaculated. Immediately she pointed to the bank out of which she had emerged and said, “House no good, house no good!”

“I'm so glad, so glad!” she exclaimed. Right away, she pointed to the bank she had just come out of and said, “This place is no good, this place is no good!”

Grandmother nodded consolingly. “You’ll get fixed up comfortable after while, Mrs. Shimerda; make good house.”

Grandmother nodded reassuringly. “You'll be all set and comfortable soon, Ms. Shimerda; it'll make a nice home.”

My grandmother always spoke in a very loud tone to foreigners, as if they were deaf. She made Mrs. Shimerda understand the friendly intention of our visit, and the Bohemian woman handled the loaves of bread and even smelled them, and examined the pies with lively curiosity, exclaiming, “Much good, much thank!”—and again she wrung grandmother’s hand.

My grandmother always talked really loudly to foreigners, as if they couldn't hear us. She helped Mrs. Shimerda understand that we meant well by visiting, and the Bohemian woman picked up the loaves of bread, even smelling them and looking at the pies with excitement, saying, “So good, thank you!”—and then she squeezed my grandmother's hand again.

The oldest son, Ambrož,—they called it Ambrosch,—came out of the cave and stood beside his mother. He was nineteen years old, short and broad-backed, with a close-cropped, flat head, and a wide, flat face. His hazel eyes were little and shrewd, like his mother’s, but more sly and suspicious; they fairly snapped at the food. The family had been living on corncakes and sorghum molasses for three days.

The oldest son, Ambrož—they called him Ambrosch—came out of the cave and stood next to his mother. He was nineteen years old, short and stocky, with a buzz cut, a flat head, and a wide, flat face. His hazel eyes were small and crafty, like his mother’s, but more cunning and suspicious; they practically gleamed at the food. The family had been surviving on corncakes and sorghum molasses for three days.

The little girl was pretty, but Án-tonia—[pg 026] they accented the name thus, strongly, when they spoke to her—was still prettier. I remembered what the conductor had said about her eyes. They were big and warm and full of light, like the sun shining on brown pools in the wood. Her skin was brown, too, and in her cheeks she had a glow of rich, dark color. Her brown hair was curly and wild-looking. The little sister, whom they called Yulka (Julka), was fair, and seemed mild and obedient. While I stood awkwardly confronting the two girls, Krajiek came up from the barn to see what was going on. With him was another Shimerda son. Even from a distance one could see that there was something strange about this boy. As he approached us, he began to make uncouth noises, and held up his hands to show us his fingers, which were webbed to the first knuckle, like a duck’s foot. When he saw me draw back, he began to crow delightedly, “Hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo!” like a rooster. His mother scowled and said sternly, “Marek!” then spoke rapidly to Krajiek in Bohemian.

The little girl was cute, but Án-tonia—[pg 026] they pronounced her name with emphasis when they talked to her—was even cuter. I remembered what the conductor had said about her eyes. They were large, warm, and full of light, like sunlight on brown puddles in the woods. Her skin was brown too, and her cheeks had a rich, dark glow. Her brown hair was curly and wild. The little sister, known as Yulka (Julka), was fair and appeared gentle and obedient. As I stood there awkwardly facing the two girls, Krajiek came up from the barn to see what was happening. He was with another Shimerda son. Even from a distance, it was clear that something was off with this boy. As he got closer, he started making strange noises and held up his hands to show us his fingers, which were webbed up to the first knuckle, like a duck’s foot. When he noticed me pulling back, he started crowing happily, “Hoo, hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo!” like a rooster. His mother frowned and said firmly, “Marek!” then quickly spoke to Krajiek in Bohemian.

“She wants me to tell you he won’t hurt nobody, Mrs. Burden. He was born like that. The others are smart. Ambrosch, he make[pg 027] good farmer.” He struck Ambrosch on the back, and the boy smiled knowingly.

“She wants me to tell you he won’t hurt anyone, Ms. Burden. He was born that way. The others are clever. Ambrosch, he makes a good farmer.” He patted Ambrosch on the back, and the boy smiled knowingly.

At that moment the father came out of the hole in the bank. He wore no hat, and his thick, iron-gray hair was brushed straight back from his forehead. It was so long that it bushed out behind his ears, and made him look like the old portraits I remembered in Virginia. He was tall and slender, and his thin shoulders stooped. He looked at us understandingly, then took grandmother’s hand and bent over it. I noticed how white and well-shaped his own hands were. They looked calm, somehow, and skilled. His eyes were melancholy, and were set back deep under his brow. His face was ruggedly formed, but it looked like ashes—like something from which all the warmth and light had died out. Everything about this old man was in keeping with his dignified manner. He was neatly dressed. Under his coat he wore a knitted gray vest, and, instead of a collar, a silk scarf of a dark bronze-green, carefully crossed and held together by a red coral pin. While Krajiek was translating for Mr. Shimerda, Ántonia came up to me and held out her hand coaxingly. In a moment we were running up[pg 028] the steep drawside together, Yulka trotting after us.

At that moment, the father came out of the hole in the bank. He wasn't wearing a hat, and his thick, iron-gray hair was slicked straight back from his forehead. It was so long that it flared out behind his ears, making him resemble the old portraits I remembered from Virginia. He was tall and slender, and his thin shoulders were hunched. He looked at us with understanding, then took grandmother’s hand and leaned over it. I noticed how white and well-shaped his own hands were. They appeared calm and skilled. His eyes were sad, set deep under his brow. His face was rugged but looked ashen—like something from which all warmth and light had vanished. Everything about this old man matched his dignified presence. He was neatly dressed. Under his coat, he wore a knitted gray vest, and instead of a collar, he had a silk scarf of dark bronze-green, carefully crossed and fastened with a red coral pin. While Krajiek was translating for Mr. Shimerda, Ántonia came up to me and held out her hand in a friendly way. In a moment, we were running up[pg 028] the steep drawside together, with Yulka trotting behind us.

When we reached the level and could see the gold tree-tops, I pointed toward them, and Ántonia laughed and squeezed my hand as if to tell me how glad she was I had come. We raced off toward Squaw Creek and did not stop until the ground itself stopped—fell away before us so abruptly that the next step would have been out into the tree-tops. We stood panting on the edge of the ravine, looking down at the trees and bushes that grew below us. The wind was so strong that I had to hold my hat on, and the girls’ skirts were blown out before them. Ántonia seemed to like it; she held her little sister by the hand and chattered away in that language which seemed to me spoken so much more rapidly than mine. She looked at me, her eyes fairly blazing with things she could not say.

When we reached the flat area and could see the golden treetops, I pointed at them, and Ántonia laughed and squeezed my hand as if to show how happy she was that I had come. We took off running toward Squaw Creek and didn’t stop until the ground dropped away so suddenly that the next step would have sent us out into the treetops. We stood catching our breath at the edge of the ravine, looking down at the trees and bushes below us. The wind was so strong that I had to hold onto my hat, and the girls’ skirts were blown out in front of them. Ántonia seemed to enjoy it; she held her little sister’s hand and chattered away in a language that sounded so much faster than mine. She looked at me, her eyes bright with things she wanted to say but couldn’t.

“Name? What name?” she asked, touching me on the shoulder. I told her my name, and she repeated it after me and made Yulka say it. She pointed into the gold cottonwood tree behind whose top we stood and said again, “What name?”

“Name? What name?” she asked, touching my shoulder. I told her my name, and she repeated it after me and made Yulka say it. She pointed at the golden cottonwood tree behind which we stood and said again, “What name?”

We sat down and made a nest in the[pg 029] long red grass. Yulka curled up like a baby rabbit and played with a grasshopper. Ántonia pointed up to the sky and questioned me with her glance. I gave her the word, but she was not satisfied and pointed to my eyes. I told her, and she repeated the word, making it sound like “ice.” She pointed up to the sky, then to my eyes, then back to the sky, with movements so quick and impulsive that she distracted me, and I had no idea what she wanted. She got up on her knees and wrung her hands. She pointed to her own eyes and shook her head, then to mine and to the sky, nodding violently.

We sat down and made a nest in the[pg 029] long red grass. Yulka curled up like a baby rabbit and played with a grasshopper. Ántonia looked up at the sky and questioned me with her eyes. I gave her the answer, but she wasn't satisfied and pointed to my eyes. I told her, and she repeated the word, making it sound like “ice.” She pointed up to the sky, then to my eyes, then back to the sky, moving so quickly and impulsively that she distracted me, and I had no idea what she wanted. She got up on her knees and wrung her hands. She pointed to her own eyes and shook her head, then to mine and to the sky, nodding vigorously.

“Oh,” I exclaimed, “blue; blue sky.”

“Oh,” I said, “blue; blue sky.”

She clapped her hands and murmured, “Blue sky, blue eyes,” as if it amused her. While we snuggled down there out of the wind she learned a score of words. She was quick, and very eager. We were so deep in the grass that we could see nothing but the blue sky over us and the gold tree in front of us. It was wonderfully pleasant. After Ántonia had said the new words over and over, she wanted to give me a little chased silver ring she wore on her middle finger. When she coaxed and insisted, I repulsed her quite sternly. I did n’t[pg 030] want her ring, and I felt there was something reckless and extravagant about her wishing to give it away to a boy she had never seen before. No wonder Krajiek got the better of these people, if this was how they behaved.

She clapped her hands and said, “Blue sky, blue eyes,” as if it amused her. While we huddled down there out of the wind, she learned a ton of words. She was quick and really eager. We were so deep in the grass that we could see nothing but the blue sky above us and the golden tree in front of us. It was incredibly pleasant. After Ántonia repeated the new words over and over, she wanted to give me a little silver ring she wore on her middle finger. When she pleaded and insisted, I pushed her away quite firmly. I didn’t want her ring, and I felt there was something reckless and extravagant about her wanting to give it away to a boy she had never met before. No wonder Krajiek took advantage of these people if this was how they acted.

While we were disputing about the ring, I heard a mournful voice calling, “Án-tonia, Án-tonia!” She sprang up like a hare. “Tatinek, Tatinek!” she shouted, and we ran to meet the old man who was coming toward us. Ántonia reached him first, took his hand and kissed it. When I came up, he touched my shoulder and looked searchingly down into my face for several seconds. I became somewhat embarrassed, for I was used to being taken for granted by my elders.

While we were arguing about the ring, I heard a sad voice calling, “Án-tonia, Án-tonia!” She jumped up like a startled rabbit. “Tatinek, Tatinek!” she yelled, and we ran to meet the old man who was coming toward us. Ántonia got to him first, took his hand, and kissed it. When I arrived, he touched my shoulder and looked intently into my face for a few seconds. I felt a bit awkward because I was used to being overlooked by my elders.

We went with Mr. Shimerda back to the dugout, where grandmother was waiting for me. Before I got into the wagon, he took a book out of his pocket, opened it, and showed me a page with two alphabets, one English and the other Bohemian. He placed this book in my grandmother’s hands, looked at her entreatingly, and said with an earnestness which I shall never forget, “Te-e-ach, te-e-ach my Án-tonia!”

We went with Mr. Shimerda back to the dugout, where my grandmother was waiting for me. Before I got into the wagon, he took a book out of his pocket, opened it, and showed me a page with two alphabets, one English and the other Bohemian. He placed this book in my grandmother’s hands, looked at her with urgency, and said with a seriousness I'll never forget, “Teach, teach my Ántonia!”


[pg 031]

IV

On the afternoon of that same Sunday I took my first long ride on my pony, under Otto’s direction. After that Dude and I went twice a week to the post-office, six miles east of us, and I saved the men a good deal of time by riding on errands to our neighbors. When we had to borrow anything, or to send about word that there would be preaching at the sod schoolhouse, I was always the messenger. Formerly Fuchs attended to such things after working hours.

On the afternoon of that same Sunday, I took my first long ride on my pony with Otto guiding me. After that, Dude and I made trips to the post-office twice a week, which was six miles east of us. I saved the men a lot of time by running errands to our neighbors. Whenever we needed to borrow something or send out word about preaching at the sod schoolhouse, I was always the one who delivered the message. Before, Fuchs handled those tasks after working hours.

All the years that have passed have not dimmed my memory of that first glorious autumn. The new country lay open before me: there were no fences in those days, and I could choose my own way over the grass uplands, trusting the pony to get me home again. Sometimes I followed the sunflower-bordered roads. Fuchs told me that the sunflowers were introduced into that country by the Mormons; that at the time of the persecution, when they left Missouri and struck out into the wilderness to find a place where they could worship[pg 032] God in their own way, the members of the first exploring party, crossing the plains to Utah, scattered sunflower seed as they went. The next summer, when the long trains of wagons came through with all the women and children, they had the sunflower trail to follow. I believe that botanists do not confirm Jake’s story, but insist that the sunflower was native to those plains. Nevertheless, that legend has stuck in my mind, and sunflower-bordered roads always seem to me the roads to freedom.

All the years that have gone by haven’t faded my memory of that first amazing autumn. The new country stretched out before me: there were no fences back then, and I could choose my own path across the grassy hills, trusting the pony to lead me home. Sometimes I followed the roads lined with sunflowers. Fuchs told me that the Mormons brought the sunflowers to that area; during the persecution, when they left Missouri and ventured into the wilderness to find a place where they could worship God in their own way, the members of the first exploring party, crossing the plains to Utah, scattered sunflower seeds as they traveled. The next summer, when the long lines of wagons came through with all the women and children, they had the sunflower trail to guide them. I believe that botanists don’t support Jake’s story but claim that the sunflower was native to those plains. Still, that legend has stayed with me, and sunflower-lined roads always feel like the paths to freedom.

I used to love to drift along the pale yellow cornfields, looking for the damp spots one sometimes found at their edges, where the smartweed soon turned a rich copper color and the narrow brown leaves hung curled like cocoons about the swollen joints of the stem. Sometimes I went south to visit our German neighbors and to admire their catalpa grove, or to see the big elm tree that grew up out of a deep crack in the earth and had a hawk’s nest in its branches. Trees were so rare in that country, and they had to make such a hard fight to grow, that we used to feel anxious about them, and visit them as if they were persons. It must have been the scarcity of[pg 033] detail in that tawny landscape that made detail so precious.

I used to love wandering through the pale yellow cornfields, searching for the damp patches often found at their edges, where the smartweed would quickly turn a rich copper color and the narrow brown leaves would curl around the swollen joints of the stem like cocoons. Sometimes I headed south to visit our German neighbors and admire their catalpa grove, or to see the big elm tree that grew from a deep crack in the earth and had a hawk’s nest in its branches. Trees were so rare in that area, and they had to fight hard to grow, that we often felt anxious about them and visited them as if they were people. It must have been the lack of[pg 033] detail in that brown landscape that made detail so valuable.

Sometimes I rode north to the big prairie-dog town to watch the brown, earth-owls fly home in the late afternoon and go down to their nests underground with the dogs. Ántonia Shimerda liked to go with me, and we used to wonder a great deal about these birds of subterranean habit. We had to be on our guard there, for rattlesnakes were always lurking about. They came to pick up an easy living among the dogs and owls, which were quite defenseless against them; took possession of their comfortable houses and ate the eggs and puppies. We felt sorry for the owls. It was always mournful to see them come flying home at sunset and disappear under the earth. But, after all, we felt, winged things who would live like that must be rather degraded creatures. The dog-town was a long way from any pond or creek. Otto Fuchs said he had seen populous dog-towns in the desert where there was no surface water for fifty miles; he insisted that some of the holes must go down to water—nearly two hundred feet, hereabouts. Ántonia said she did n’t believe it; that the dogs probably[pg 034] lapped up the dew in the early morning, like the rabbits.

Sometimes I rode north to the large prairie-dog town to watch the brown earth-owls fly home in the late afternoon and settle into their nests underground with the dogs. Ántonia Shimerda liked to join me, and we often wondered about these birds of underground habits. We had to be careful there because rattlesnakes were always hiding around. They would come to score an easy meal among the dogs and owls, who were quite defenseless against them; they took over their cozy homes and ate the eggs and puppies. We felt sorry for the owls. It was always sad to see them flying home at sunset and disappearing into the ground. But, in the end, we thought that winged creatures living like that must be pretty lowly. The dog town was far from any pond or creek. Otto Fuchs said he had seen crowded dog-towns in the desert where there was no surface water for fifty miles; he claimed that some of the holes must reach down to water—nearly two hundred feet deep around here. Ántonia said she didn’t believe it; that the dogs probably lapped up the dew in the early morning, like the rabbits.

Ántonia had opinions about everything, and she was soon able to make them known. Almost every day she came running across the prairie to have her reading lesson with me. Mrs. Shimerda grumbled, but realized it was important that one member of the family should learn English. When the lesson was over, we used to go up to the watermelon patch behind the garden. I split the melons with an old corn-knife, and we lifted out the hearts and ate them with the juice trickling through our fingers. The white Christmas melons we did not touch, but we watched them with curiosity. They were to be picked late, when the hard frosts had set in, and put away for winter use. After weeks on the ocean, the Shimerdas were famished for fruit. The two girls would wander for miles along the edge of the cornfields, hunting for ground-cherries.

Ántonia had strong opinions about everything, and she quickly made them known. Almost every day, she would run across the prairie to have her reading lesson with me. Mrs. Shimerda complained, but she understood that it was important for at least one member of the family to learn English. Once the lesson was done, we would head to the watermelon patch behind the garden. I would split the melons with an old corn knife, and we’d scoop out the hearts and eat them, juice dripping down our fingers. We didn’t touch the white Christmas melons, but we watched them with interest. They were meant to be picked late, after the hard frosts, and stored for the winter. After weeks at sea, the Shimerdas were craving fruit. The two girls would wander for miles along the cornfields, looking for ground cherries.

Ántonia loved to help grandmother in the kitchen and to learn about cooking and housekeeping. She would stand beside her, watching her every movement. We were willing to believe that Mrs. Shimerda was a good housewife in her own country, but she managed[pg 035] poorly under new conditions: the conditions were bad enough, certainly!

Ántonia loved helping her grandmother in the kitchen, learning about cooking and keeping the house. She would stand beside her, observing her every move. We wanted to believe that Mrs. Shimerda was a good housewife in her home country, but she struggled to adapt under the new circumstances: the situation was tough enough, that’s for sure!

I remember how horrified we were at the sour, ashy-gray bread she gave her family to eat. She mixed her dough, we discovered, in an old tin peck-measure that Krajiek had used about the barn. When she took the paste out to bake it, she left smears of dough sticking to the sides of the measure, put the measure on the shelf behind the stove, and let this residue ferment. The next time she made bread, she scraped this sour stuff down into the fresh dough to serve as yeast.

I remember how shocked we were at the sour, ashy-gray bread she gave her family to eat. We found out she mixed her dough in an old tin peck-measure that Krajiek had used around the barn. When she took the dough out to bake, she left bits of it stuck to the sides of the measure, put it on the shelf behind the stove, and let the leftover dough ferment. The next time she made bread, she mixed this sour stuff into the fresh dough to use as yeast.

During those first months the Shimerdas never went to town. Krajiek encouraged them in the belief that in Black Hawk they would somehow be mysteriously separated from their money. They hated Krajiek, but they clung to him because he was the only human being with whom they could talk or from whom they could get information. He slept with the old man and the two boys in the dugout barn, along with the oxen. They kept him in their hole and fed him for the same reason that the prairie dogs and the brown owls housed the rattlesnakes—because they did not know how to get rid of him.

During those first months, the Shimerdas didn’t go to town. Krajiek convinced them that in Black Hawk they would somehow end up losing their money. They disliked Krajiek, but they held on to him because he was the only person they could talk to or get information from. He slept with the old man and the two boys in the dugout barn, along with the oxen. They kept him around and fed him for the same reason the prairie dogs and the brown owls tolerated the rattlesnakes—because they didn’t know how to get rid of him.


[pg 036]

V

We knew that things were hard for our Bohemian neighbors, but the two girls were light-hearted and never complained. They were always ready to forget their troubles at home, and to run away with me over the prairie, scaring rabbits or starting up flocks of quail.

We knew that things were tough for our Bohemian neighbors, but the two girls were carefree and never complained. They were always eager to put their worries aside and run away with me across the prairie, chasing rabbits or stirring up flocks of quail.

I remember Ántonia’s excitement when she came into our kitchen one afternoon and announced: “My papa find friends up north, with Russian mans. Last night he take me for see, and I can understand very much talk. Nice mans, Mrs. Burden. One is fat and all the time laugh. Everybody laugh. The first time I see my papa laugh in this kawn-tree. Oh, very nice!”

I remember Ántonia’s excitement when she came into our kitchen one afternoon and announced, “My dad found friends up north, with Russian men. Last night he took me to see them, and I could understand a lot of what they said. Nice guys, Ms. Burden. One is overweight and always laughing. Everyone is laughing. It’s the first time I’ve seen my dad laugh in this country. Oh, very nice!”

I asked her if she meant the two Russians who lived up by the big dog-town. I had often been tempted to go to see them when I was riding in that direction, but one of them was a wild-looking fellow and I was a little afraid of him. Russia seemed to me more remote than any other country—farther away than China, almost as far as the North Pole. Of[pg 037] all the strange, uprooted people among the first settlers, those two men were the strangest and the most aloof. Their last names were unpronounceable, so they were called Pavel and Peter. They went about making signs to people, and until the Shimerdas came they had no friends. Krajiek could understand them a little, but he had cheated them in a trade, so they avoided him. Pavel, the tall one, was said to be an anarchist; since he had no means of imparting his opinions, probably his wild gesticulations and his generally excited and rebellious manner gave rise to this supposition. He must once have been a very strong man, but now his great frame, with big, knotty joints, had a wasted look, and the skin was drawn tight over his high cheek-bones. His breathing was hoarse, and he always had a cough.

I asked her if she meant the two Russians who lived up by the big dog-town. I had often thought about visiting them when I was riding in that direction, but one of them looked pretty wild, and I was a bit scared of him. Russia felt more distant to me than any other country—further away than China, almost as far as the North Pole. Of[pg 037] all the strange, displaced people among the first settlers, those two men were the oddest and most detached. Their last names were impossible to pronounce, so everyone just called them Pavel and Peter. They communicated through gestures, and until the Shimerdas arrived, they had no friends. Krajiek could understand them a bit, but he had cheated them in a trade, so they stayed away from him. Pavel, the tall one, was said to be an anarchist; since he couldn't share his views verbally, his wild movements and generally agitated and rebellious demeanor probably led to this idea. He must have been a very strong man once, but now his large frame, with big, knobby joints, looked emaciated, and the skin was stretched tight over his high cheekbones. His breathing was raspy, and he always seemed to have a cough.

Peter, his companion, was a very different sort of fellow; short, bow-legged, and as fat as butter. He always seemed pleased when he met people on the road, smiled and took off his cap to every one, men as well as women. At a distance, on his wagon, he looked like an old man; his hair and beard were of such a pale flaxen color that they seemed white in[pg 038] the sun. They were as thick and curly as carded wool. His rosy face, with its snub nose, set in this fleece, was like a melon among its leaves. He was usually called “Curly Peter,” or “Rooshian Peter.”

Peter, his companion, was a completely different guy; short, bow-legged, and as chubby as can be. He always looked happy when he met people on the road, smiled, and took off his cap for everyone, both men and women. From a distance, perched on his wagon, he seemed like an old man; his hair and beard were such a light flaxen color that they looked white in the sun. They were as thick and curly as carded wool. His rosy face, with its flat nose, surrounded by this fluff, was like a melon among its leaves. He was usually called “Curly Peter” or “Russian Peter.”

The two Russians made good farmhands, and in summer they worked out together. I had heard our neighbors laughing when they told how Peter always had to go home at night to milk his cow. Other bachelor homesteaders used canned milk, to save trouble. Sometimes Peter came to church at the sod schoolhouse. It was there I first saw him, sitting on a low bench by the door, his plush cap in his hands, his bare feet tucked apologetically under the seat.

The two Russians were great farmhands, and in the summer, they worked together. I heard our neighbors laughing as they talked about how Peter always had to go home at night to milk his cow. Other single homesteaders used canned milk to avoid the hassle. Sometimes Peter came to church at the sod schoolhouse. That’s where I first saw him, sitting on a low bench by the door, his plush cap in his hands, his bare feet tucked awkwardly under the seat.

After Mr. Shimerda discovered the Russians, he went to see them almost every evening, and sometimes took Ántonia with him. She said they came from a part of Russia where the language was not very different from Bohemian, and if I wanted to go to their place, she could talk to them for me. One afternoon, before the heavy frosts began, we rode up there together on my pony.

After Mr. Shimerda found the Russians, he started visiting them almost every evening, and sometimes took Ántonia along. She mentioned that they were from a part of Russia where the language was quite similar to Bohemian, and if I wanted to visit them, she could speak to them for me. One afternoon, before the harsh frost set in, we rode up there together on my pony.

The Russians had a neat log house built on a grassy slope, with a windlass well beside the[pg 039] door. As we rode up the draw we skirted a big melon patch, and a garden where squashes and yellow cucumbers lay about on the sod. We found Peter out behind his kitchen, bending over a washtub. He was working so hard that he did not hear us coming. His whole body moved up and down as he rubbed, and he was a funny sight from the rear, with his shaggy head and bandy legs. When he straightened himself up to greet us, drops of perspiration were rolling from his thick nose down on to his curly beard. Peter dried his hands and seemed glad to leave his washing. He took us down to see his chickens, and his cow that was grazing on the hillside. He told Ántonia that in his country only rich people had cows, but here any man could have one who would take care of her. The milk was good for Pavel, who was often sick, and he could make butter by beating sour cream with a wooden spoon. Peter was very fond of his cow. He patted her flanks and talked to her in Russian while he pulled up her lariat pin and set it in a new place.

The Russians had a nice log house built on a grassy slope, with a well beside the door. As we rode up the draw, we passed a big melon patch and a garden where squashes and yellow cucumbers were lying around on the ground. We found Peter outside his kitchen, bent over a washtub. He was concentrating so hard that he didn’t hear us coming. His whole body moved up and down as he scrubbed, and he looked pretty funny from behind, with his shaggy hair and bow-legged stance. When he straightened up to greet us, drops of sweat were rolling from his thick nose onto his curly beard. Peter dried his hands and seemed happy to stop washing. He took us to see his chickens and his cow grazing on the hillside. He told Ántonia that in his country only wealthy people had cows, but here anyone could have one if they took care of it. The milk was good for Pavel, who was often sick, and he could make butter by beating sour cream with a wooden spoon. Peter really loved his cow. He patted her sides and talked to her in Russian while he moved her lariat pin to a new spot.

After he had shown us his garden, Peter trundled a load of watermelons up the hill in his wheelbarrow. Pavel was not at home. He[pg 040] was off somewhere helping to dig a well. The house I thought very comfortable for two men who were “batching.” Besides the kitchen, there was a living-room, with a wide double bed built against the wall, properly made up with blue gingham sheets and pillows. There was a little storeroom, too, with a window, where they kept guns and saddles and tools, and old coats and boots. That day the floor was covered with garden things, drying for winter; corn and beans and fat yellow cucumbers. There were no screens or window-blinds in the house, and all the doors and windows stood wide open, letting in flies and sunshine alike.

After showing us his garden, Peter wheeled a load of watermelons up the hill in his wheelbarrow. Pavel wasn't home. He[pg 040] was off somewhere helping to dig a well. I found the house quite comfortable for two guys living alone. Besides the kitchen, there was a living room with a wide double bed against the wall, neatly made up with blue gingham sheets and pillows. There was also a small storeroom with a window, where they kept guns, saddles, tools, and old coats and boots. That day, the floor was covered with garden produce drying for winter: corn, beans, and plump yellow cucumbers. There were no screens or window blinds in the house, and all the doors and windows were wide open, letting in both flies and sunlight.

Peter put the melons in a row on the oilcloth-covered table and stood over them, brandishing a butcher knife. Before the blade got fairly into them, they split of their own ripeness, with a delicious sound. He gave us knives, but no plates, and the top of the table was soon swimming with juice and seeds. I had never seen any one eat so many melons as Peter ate. He assured us that they were good for one—better than medicine; in his country people lived on them at this time of year. He was very hospitable and jolly.[pg 041] Once, while he was looking at Ántonia, he sighed and told us that if he had stayed at home in Russia perhaps by this time he would have had a pretty daughter of his own to cook and keep house for him. He said he had left his country because of a “great trouble.”

Peter lined up the melons on the oilcloth-covered table and stood over them, waving a butcher knife. Before he even cut into them, they split open from their ripeness, making a satisfying sound. He handed us knives, but no plates, and soon the top of the table was covered in juice and seeds. I had never seen anyone eat as many melons as Peter did. He insisted they were great for you—better than medicine; in his country, people lived on them this time of year. He was very welcoming and cheerful. [pg 041] Once, while he was looking at Ántonia, he sighed and told us that if he had stayed in Russia, he might have had a pretty daughter by now to cook and take care of him. He mentioned he left his country because of a "great trouble."

When we got up to go, Peter looked about in perplexity for something that would entertain us. He ran into the storeroom and brought out a gaudily painted harmonica, sat down on a bench, and spreading his fat legs apart began to play like a whole band. The tunes were either very lively or very doleful, and he sang words to some of them.

When we got up to leave, Peter looked around confused for something to entertain us. He dashed into the storeroom and came back with a brightly painted harmonica, sat down on a bench, and spread his legs apart as he played like a whole band. The songs were either really upbeat or very sad, and he sang lyrics to some of them.

Before we left, Peter put ripe cucumbers into a sack for Mrs. Shimerda and gave us a lard-pail full of milk to cook them in. I had never heard of cooking cucumbers, but Ántonia assured me they were very good. We had to walk the pony all the way home to keep from spilling the milk.

Before we left, Peter put ripe cucumbers in a sack for Mrs. Shimerda and gave us a lard pail full of milk to cook them in. I had never heard of cooking cucumbers, but Ántonia promised me they were really good. We had to walk the pony all the way home to avoid spilling the milk.


[pg 042]

VI

One afternoon we were having our reading lesson on the warm, grassy bank where the badger lived. It was a day of amber sunlight, but there was a shiver of coming winter in the air. I had seen ice on the little horse-pond that morning, and as we went through the garden we found the tall asparagus, with its red berries, lying on the ground, a mass of slimy green.

One afternoon, we were having our reading lesson on the warm, grassy bank where the badger lived. It was a day filled with golden sunlight, but there was a chill of approaching winter in the air. I had noticed ice on the small horse pond that morning, and as we walked through the garden, we found the tall asparagus with its red berries lying on the ground, a soggy mess of green.

Tony was barefooted, and she shivered in her cotton dress and was comfortable only when we were tucked down on the baked earth, in the full blaze of the sun. She could talk to me about almost anything by this time. That afternoon she was telling me how highly esteemed our friend the badger was in her part of the world, and how men kept a special kind of dog, with very short legs, to hunt him. Those dogs, she said, went down into the hole after the badger and killed him there in a terrific struggle underground; you could hear the barks and yelps outside. Then the dog dragged himself back, covered with bites and scratches, to be rewarded and petted by his master. She[pg 043] knew a dog who had a star on his collar for every badger he had killed.

Tony was barefoot, and she shivered in her cotton dress, feeling comfortable only when we were settled on the warm earth, in the full blaze of the sun. By this point, she could talk to me about almost anything. That afternoon, she was telling me how highly regarded our friend the badger was in her area, and how men kept a special breed of dog with very short legs to hunt him. Those dogs, she said, would go down into the hole after the badger and kill him there in a fierce struggle underground; you could hear the barking and yelping from outside. Then the dog would crawl back, covered in bites and scratches, to be praised and petted by his owner. She[pg 043] knew a dog that had a star on his collar for every badger he had killed.

The rabbits were unusually spry that afternoon. They kept starting up all about us, and dashing off down the draw as if they were playing a game of some kind. But the little buzzing things that lived in the grass were all dead—all but one. While we were lying there against the warm bank, a little insect of the palest, frailest green hopped painfully out of the buffalo grass and tried to leap into a bunch of bluestem. He missed it, fell back, and sat with his head sunk between his long legs, his antennæ quivering, as if he were waiting for something to come and finish him. Tony made a warm nest for him in her hands; talked to him gayly and indulgently in Bohemian. Presently he began to sing for us—a thin, rusty little chirp. She held him close to her ear and laughed, but a moment afterward I saw there were tears in her eyes. She told me that in her village at home there was an old beggar woman who went about selling herbs and roots she had dug up in the forest. If you took her in and gave her a warm place by the fire, she sang old songs to the children in a cracked voice, like this. Old Hata, she[pg 044] was called, and the children loved to see her coming and saved their cakes and sweets for her.

The rabbits were surprisingly lively that afternoon. They kept jumping up around us and racing down the draw like they were playing some sort of game. But the small buzzing creatures that lived in the grass were all dead—except for one. While we were lying there against the warm slope, a little insect of the palest, faintest green struggled out of the buffalo grass and tried to hop into a bunch of bluestem. He missed, fell back, and sat with his head between his long legs, his antennas twitching, as if he were waiting for something to come and finish him off. Tony made a cozy nest for him in her hands; she talked to him cheerfully and lovingly in Bohemian. Soon,

When the bank on the other side of the draw began to throw a narrow shelf of shadow, we knew we ought to be starting homeward; the chill came on quickly when the sun got low, and Ántonia’s dress was thin. What were we to do with the frail little creature we had lured back to life by false pretenses? I offered my pockets, but Tony shook her head and carefully put the green insect in her hair, tying her big handkerchief down loosely over her curls. I said I would go with her until we could see Squaw Creek, and then turn and run home. We drifted along lazily, very happy, through the magical light of the late afternoon.

When the bank on the other side of the draw started to cast a narrow shadow, we knew it was time to head home; the chill quickly set in as the sun dipped lower, and Ántonia’s dress was light. What were we going to do with the delicate little creature we had brought back to life under false pretenses? I offered my pockets for her to warm up, but Tony shook her head and carefully placed the green insect in her hair, loosely tying her big handkerchief over her curls. I said I would walk with her until we could see Squaw Creek and then turn back to run home. We strolled along lazily, feeling very happy, through the enchanting light of the late afternoon.

All those fall afternoons were the same, but I never got used to them. As far as we could see, the miles of copper-red grass were drenched in sunlight that was stronger and fiercer than at any other time of the day. The blond cornfields were red gold, the haystacks turned rosy and threw long shadows. The whole prairie was like the bush that burned with fire and was not consumed. That hour always had the exultation of victory, of[pg 045] triumphant ending, like a hero’s death—heroes who died young and gloriously. It was a sudden transfiguration, a lifting-up of day.

All those autumn afternoons felt the same, but I never got used to them. As far as we could see, the miles of copper-red grass were bathed in sunlight that was stronger and more intense than at any other time of day. The golden cornfields shone like red gold, and the haystacks turned a rosy hue, casting long shadows. The entire prairie resembled a bush that burned with fire but was not consumed. That hour always felt like a celebration of victory, a triumphant moment, like a hero’s death—those heroes who died young and gloriously. It was a sudden transformation, a lifting of the day.

How many an afternoon Ántonia and I have trailed along the prairie under that magnificence! And always two long black shadows flitted before us or followed after, dark spots on the ruddy grass.

How many afternoons Ántonia and I have wandered across the prairie beneath that beauty! And always, two long black shadows flitted ahead of us or trailed behind, dark spots on the reddish grass.

We had been silent a long time, and the edge of the sun sank nearer and nearer the prairie floor, when we saw a figure moving on the edge of the upland, a gun over his shoulder. He was walking slowly, dragging his feet along as if he had no purpose. We broke into a run to overtake him.

We had been quiet for quite a while, and the sun was sinking lower and closer to the prairie ground when we spotted a figure near the top of the hill, a gun slung over his shoulder. He was walking slowly, dragging his feet as if he had no real aim. We took off running to catch up to him.

“My papa sick all the time,” Tony panted as we flew. “He not look good, Jim.”

“My dad is sick all the time,” Tony panted as we flew. “He doesn’t look good, Jim.”

As we neared Mr. Shimerda she shouted, and he lifted his head and peered about. Tony ran up to him, caught his hand and pressed it against her cheek. She was the only one of his family who could rouse the old man from the torpor in which he seemed to live. He took the bag from his belt and showed us three rabbits he had shot, looked at Ántonia with a wintry flicker of a smile and began to tell her something. She turned to me.

As we got closer to Mr. Shimerda, she yelled, and he raised his head and looked around. Tony ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and pressed it against her cheek. She was the only one in his family who could wake the old man from the daze he seemed to be in. He took the bag from his belt and showed us three rabbits he had shot, looked at Ántonia with a faint, cold smile, and started to tell her something. She turned to me.

[pg 046]

“My tatinek make me little hat with the skins, little hat for win-ter!” she exclaimed joyfully. “Meat for eat, skin for hat,”—she told off these benefits on her fingers.

“My dad made me a little hat with the skins, a little hat for winter!” she exclaimed joyfully. “Meat to eat, skin for the hat,”—she counted these benefits on her fingers.

Her father put his hand on her hair, but she caught his wrist and lifted it carefully away, talking to him rapidly. I heard the name of old Hata. He untied the handkerchief, separated her hair with his fingers, and stood looking down at the green insect. When it began to chirp faintly, he listened as if it were a beautiful sound.

Her dad placed his hand on her hair, but she grabbed his wrist and gently moved it away, speaking to him quickly. I heard the name of old Hata. He untied the handkerchief, parted her hair with his fingers, and gazed down at the green insect. When it started to chirp softly, he listened as if it were a beautiful sound.

I picked up the gun he had dropped; a queer piece from the old country, short and heavy, with a stag’s head on the cock. When he saw me examining it, he turned to me with his far-away look that always made me feel as if I were down at the bottom of a well. He spoke kindly and gravely, and Ántonia translated:—

I picked up the gun he had dropped; it was a strange piece from the old country, short and heavy, with a stag's head on the hammer. When he saw me looking at it, he turned to me with that distant look of his that always made me feel like I was at the bottom of a well. He spoke kindly and seriously, and Ántonia translated:—

“My tatinek say when you are big boy, he give you his gun. Very fine, from Bohemie. It was belong to a great man, very rich, like what you not got here; many fields, many forests, many big house. My papa play for his wedding, and he give my papa fine gun, and my papa give you.”

“My dad says when you're a big boy, he'll give you his gun. It's really nice, from Bohemia. It belonged to a great man, very wealthy, unlike anyone you see here; he had lots of fields, many forests, and big houses. My dad played at his wedding, and in return, he gave my dad a fine gun, and now my dad will give it to you.”

Illustration: Mr. Shimerda walking on the upland prairie with a gun over his shoulder

I was glad that this project was one of[pg 047] futurity. There never were such people as the Shimerdas for wanting to give away everything they had. Even the mother was always offering me things, though I knew she expected substantial presents in return. We stood there in friendly silence, while the feeble minstrel sheltered in Ántonia’s hair went on with its scratchy chirp. The old man’s smile, as he listened, was so full of sadness, of pity for things, that I never afterward forgot it. As the sun sank there came a sudden coolness and the strong smell of earth and drying grass. Ántonia and her father went off hand in hand, and I buttoned up my jacket and raced my shadow home.

I was happy that this project was one of[pg 047] futurity. There were never people like the Shimerdas who wanted to give away everything they had. Even the mother was always offering me things, though I knew she expected significant gifts in return. We stood there in comfortable silence while the weak little minstrel, nestled in Ántonia’s hair, continued its scratchy chirp. The old man’s smile, as he listened, was so full of sadness and pity for things that I never forgot it. As the sun set, a sudden coolness came, along with the strong smell of earth and drying grass. Ántonia and her father walked off hand in hand, and I buttoned up my jacket and raced my shadow home.


[pg 048]

VII

Much as I liked Ántonia, I hated a superior tone that she sometimes took with me. She was four years older than I, to be sure, and had seen more of the world; but I was a boy and she was a girl, and I resented her protecting manner. Before the autumn was over she began to treat me more like an equal and to defer to me in other things than reading lessons. This change came about from an adventure we had together.

Much as I liked Ántonia, I disliked the superior attitude she sometimes had toward me. Sure, she was four years older and had experienced more of the world, but I was a boy and she was a girl, and I resented her protective way of acting. By the time autumn ended, she started to treat me more like an equal and to take my opinions into account on things beyond just reading lessons. This shift happened after an adventure we had together.

One day when I rode over to the Shimerdas’ I found Ántonia starting off on foot for Russian Peter’s house, to borrow a spade Ambrosch needed. I offered to take her on the pony, and she got up behind me. There had been another black frost the night before, and the air was clear and heady as wine. Within a week all the blooming roads had been despoiled—hundreds of miles of yellow sunflowers had been transformed into brown, rattling, burry stalks.

One day when I rode over to the Shimerdas’, I found Ántonia setting off on foot to Russian Peter’s place to borrow a spade that Ambrosch needed. I offered to give her a ride on the pony, and she hopped up behind me. There had been another black frost the night before, and the air was crisp and invigorating like wine. Within a week, all the blooming roads had been stripped bare—hundreds of miles of yellow sunflowers had turned into brown, rattling, thorny stalks.

We found Russian Peter digging his potatoes. We were glad to go in and get warm[pg 049] by his kitchen stove and to see his squashes and Christmas melons, heaped in the storeroom for winter. As we rode away with the spade, Ántonia suggested that we stop at the prairie-dog town and dig into one of the holes. We could find out whether they ran straight down, or were horizontal, like mole-holes; whether they had underground connections; whether the owls had nests down there, lined with feathers. We might get some puppies, or owl eggs, or snake-skins.

We found Russian Peter digging up his potatoes. We were happy to step inside and warm up by his kitchen stove and to check out his squashes and Christmas melons stacked in the storeroom for winter. As we rode away with the spade, Ántonia suggested we stop at the prairie-dog town and dig into one of the holes. We could see if they went straight down or were horizontal like mole tunnels; whether there were underground connections; whether owls had nests down there, lined with feathers. We might find some puppies, owl eggs, or snake skins.

The dog-town was spread out over perhaps ten acres. The grass had been nibbled short and even, so this stretch was not shaggy and red like the surrounding country, but gray and velvety. The holes were several yards apart, and were disposed with a good deal of regularity, almost as if the town had been laid out in streets and avenues. One always felt that an orderly and very sociable kind of life was going on there. I picketed Dude down in a draw, and we went wandering about, looking for a hole that would be easy to dig. The dogs were out, as usual, dozens of them, sitting up on their hind legs over the doors of their houses. As we approached, they barked, shook their tails at us, and scurried[pg 050] underground. Before the mouths of the holes were little patches of sand and gravel, scratched up, we supposed, from a long way below the surface. Here and there, in the town, we came on larger gravel patches, several yards away from any hole. If the dogs had scratched the sand up in excavating, how had they carried it so far? It was on one of these gravel beds that I met my adventure.

The dog-town stretched over about ten acres. The grass was trimmed short and even, so this area wasn't shaggy and red like the surrounding land, but gray and soft. The holes were spaced several yards apart and arranged quite regularly, almost as if the town had been designed with streets and avenues. You always got the feeling that a neat and very social kind of life was happening there. I tied Dude in a draw, and we wandered around, searching for a hole that would be easy to dig. The dogs were out, as usual, with dozens of them sitting on their hind legs at the entrances of their houses. As we got closer, they barked, wagged their tails at us, and hurried underground. In front of the holes, there were small patches of sand and gravel, which we assumed had been dug up from deep below the surface. Here and there in the town, we found larger gravel patches, several yards away from any hole. If the dogs had excavated the sand, how had they moved it so far away? It was on one of these gravel patches that I encountered my adventure.

We were examining a big hole with two entrances. The burrow sloped into the ground at a gentle angle, so that we could see where the two corridors united, and the floor was dusty from use, like a little highway over which much travel went. I was walking backward, in a crouching position, when I heard Ántonia scream. She was standing opposite me, pointing behind me and shouting something in Bohemian. I whirled round, and there, on one of those dry gravel beds, was the biggest snake I had ever seen. He was sunning himself, after the cold night, and he must have been asleep when Ántonia screamed. When I turned he was lying in long loose waves, like a letter “W.” He twitched and began to coil slowly. He was not merely a big snake, I thought—he was a circus monstrosity. His[pg 051] abominable muscularity, his loathsome, fluid motion, somehow made me sick. He was as thick as my leg, and looked as if millstones could n’t crush the disgusting vitality out of him. He lifted his hideous little head, and rattled. I did n’t run because I did n’t think of it—if my back had been against a stone wall I could n’t have felt more cornered. I saw his coils tighten—now he would spring, spring his length, I remembered. I ran up and drove at his head with my spade, struck him fairly across the neck, and in a minute he was all about my feet in wavy loops. I struck now from hate. Ántonia, barefooted as she was, ran up behind me. Even after I had pounded his ugly head flat, his body kept on coiling and winding, doubling and falling back on itself. I walked away and turned my back. I felt seasick. Ántonia came after me, crying, “O Jimmy, he not bite you? You sure? Why you not run when I say?”

We were looking at a large hole with two entrances. The burrow sloped gently into the ground, allowing us to see where the two corridors connected, and the floor was dusty from use, like a little highway that had seen a lot of traffic. I was walking backward in a crouch when I heard Ántonia scream. She was standing across from me, pointing behind me and shouting something in Bohemian. I turned around, and there, on one of those dry gravel beds, was the biggest snake I had ever seen. He was basking in the sun after the chilly night and must have been asleep when Ántonia screamed. When I looked, he was lying in long loose curves, like a letter “W.” He twitched and started to coil slowly. I thought he was not just a big snake—he was a circus freak. His[pg 051] repulsive muscularity and his disgusting, fluid motion somehow made me feel sick. He was as thick as my leg and looked like even millstones couldn't crush his horrible vitality. He raised his monstrous little head and rattled. I didn’t run because I didn’t think to—if my back had been against a stone wall, I couldn’t have felt more trapped. I saw his coils tighten—now he would spring, spring his full length, I remembered. I rushed in and struck at his head with my spade, landing a solid hit across his neck, and in a moment he was all around my feet in wavy loops. I struck out of hatred now. Ántonia, barefoot, ran up behind me. Even after I had smashed his ugly head flat, his body kept coiling and winding, doubling back on itself. I walked away and turned my back. I felt seasick. Ántonia followed me, crying, “O Jimmy, he didn’t bite you? Are you sure? Why didn’t you run when I said?”

“What did you jabber Bohunk for? You might have told me there was a snake behind me!” I said petulantly.

“What did you jabber Bohunk for? You could have told me there was a snake behind me!” I said irritably.

“I know I am just awful, Jim, I was so scared.” She took my handkerchief from my pocket and tried to wipe my face with it, but[pg 052] I snatched it away from her. I suppose I looked as sick as I felt.

“I know I’m just terrible, Jim, I was so scared.” She took my handkerchief from my pocket and tried to wipe my face with it, but[pg 052] I snatched it away from her. I guess I looked as sick as I felt.

“I never know you was so brave, Jim,” she went on comfortingly. “You is just like big mans; you wait for him lift his head and then you go for him. Ain’t you feel scared a bit? Now we take that snake home and show everybody. Nobody ain’t seen in this kawn-tree so big snake like you kill.”

“I never knew you were so brave, Jim,” she said in a comforting tone. “You’re just like the big guys; you wait for him to lift his head, and then you go for him. Aren’t you even a little scared? Now let’s take that snake home and show everyone. No one has seen a snake this big in this whole county that you killed.”

She went on in this strain until I began to think that I had longed for this opportunity, and had hailed it with joy. Cautiously we went back to the snake; he was still groping with his tail, turning up his ugly belly in the light. A faint, fetid smell came from him, and a thread of green liquid oozed from his crushed head.

She kept talking like this until I started to feel that I had been waiting for this chance and had welcomed it with excitement. We carefully returned to the snake; it was still moving its tail around, exposing its ugly belly to the light. A faint, unpleasant smell came from it, and a thin stream of green liquid was oozing from its crushed head.

“Look, Tony, that’s his poison,” I said.

“Look, Tony, that’s his poison,” I said.

I took a long piece of string from my pocket, and she lifted his head with the spade while I tied a noose around it. We pulled him out straight and measured him by my riding-quirt; he was about five and a half feet long. He had twelve rattles, but they were broken off before they began to taper, so I insisted that he must once have had twenty-four. I explained to Ántonia how this meant that he[pg 053] was twenty-four years old, that he must have been there when white men first came, left on from buffalo and Indian times. As I turned him over I began to feel proud of him, to have a kind of respect for his age and size. He seemed like the ancient, eldest Evil. Certainly his kind have left horrible unconscious memories in all warm-blooded life. When we dragged him down into the draw, Dude sprang off to the end of his tether and shivered all over—would n’t let us come near him.

I pulled a long piece of string from my pocket, and she lifted his head with the spade while I tied a noose around it. We pulled him out straight and measured him with my riding quirt; he was about five and a half feet long. He had twelve rattles, but they were broken off before they began to taper, so I insisted that he must have once had twenty-four. I explained to Ántonia how this meant he[pg 053] was twenty-four years old, that he must have been around when white men first arrived, left over from the buffalo and Indian days. As I turned him over, I started to feel proud of him, a kind of respect for his age and size. He seemed like the ancient, primordial Evil. Definitely, his kind have left dreadful, haunting memories in all warm-blooded life. When we dragged him down into the draw, Dude darted off to the end of his tether and shivered all over—he wouldn’t let us get near him.

We decided that Ántonia should ride Dude home, and I would walk. As she rode along slowly, her bare legs swinging against the pony’s sides, she kept shouting back to me about how astonished everybody would be. I followed with the spade over my shoulder, dragging my snake. Her exultation was contagious. The great land had never looked to me so big and free. If the red grass were full of rattlers, I was equal to them all. Nevertheless, I stole furtive glances behind me now and then to see that no avenging mate, older and bigger than my quarry, was racing up from the rear.

We decided that Ántonia should ride Dude home while I walked. As she rode slowly, her bare legs swinging against the pony’s sides, she kept shouting back to me about how surprised everyone would be. I followed with the spade over my shoulder, dragging my snake. Her excitement was contagious. The vast landscape had never seemed so big and free to me. Even if the red grass was full of rattlers, I felt ready for them all. Still, I occasionally glanced back to make sure no larger, vengeful mate was rushing up from behind.

The sun had set when we reached our garden and went down the draw toward the[pg 054] house. Otto Fuchs was the first one we met. He was sitting on the edge of the cattle-pond, having a quiet pipe before supper. Ántonia called him to come quick and look. He did not say anything for a minute, but scratched his head and turned the snake over with his boot.

The sun had gone down by the time we got to our garden and made our way down the draw toward the[pg 054] house. Otto Fuchs was the first person we saw. He was sitting on the edge of the cattle pond, enjoying a smoke before dinner. Ántonia urged him to come quickly and take a look. He didn’t say anything for a minute, just scratched his head and nudged the snake with his boot.

“Where did you run onto that beauty, Jim?”

“Where did you come across that beauty, Jim?”

“Up at the dog-town,” I answered laconically.

“Up at the dog-town,” I replied casually.

“Kill him yourself? How come you to have a weepon?”

“Kill him yourself? How do you have a weapon?”

“We’d been up to Russian Peter’s, to borrow a spade for Ambrosch.”

“We went up to Russian Peter’s to borrow a shovel for Ambrosch.”

Otto shook the ashes out of his pipe and squatted down to count the rattles. “It was just luck you had a tool,” he said cautiously. “Gosh! I would n’t want to do any business with that fellow myself, unless I had a fence-post along. Your grandmother’s snake-cane would n’t more than tickle him. He could stand right up and talk to you, he could. Did he fight hard?”

Otto dumped the ashes out of his pipe and crouched down to count the rattles. “It was just luck you had a tool,” he said carefully. “Wow! I wouldn’t want to do any business with that guy myself, unless I had a fence post with me. Your grandmother’s snake cane wouldn’t even faze him. He could just stand up and talk to you, he could. Did he fight hard?”

Ántonia broke in: “He fight something awful! He is all over Jimmy’s boots. I scream for him to run, but he just hit and hit that snake like he was crazy.”

Ántonia interrupted, “He was fighting like crazy! He’s all over Jimmy’s boots. I yelled at him to run, but he just kept hitting that snake like he was out of his mind.”

[pg 055]

Otto winked at me. After Ántonia rode on he said: “Got him in the head first crack, did n’t you? That was just as well.”

Otto winked at me. After Ántonia rode away, he said, “You got him in the head on the first try, didn’t you? That was just as well.”

We hung him up to the windmill, and when I went down to the kitchen I found Ántonia standing in the middle of the floor, telling the story with a great deal of color.

We hung him up at the windmill, and when I went down to the kitchen, I found Ántonia standing in the middle of the floor, sharing the story with a lot of flair.

Subsequent experiences with rattlesnakes taught me that my first encounter was fortunate in circumstance. My big rattler was old, and had led too easy a life; there was not much fight in him. He had probably lived there for years, with a fat prairie dog for breakfast whenever he felt like it, a sheltered home, even an owl-feather bed, perhaps, and he had forgot that the world does n’t owe rattlers a living. A snake of his size, in fighting trim, would be more than any boy could handle. So in reality it was a mock adventure; the game was fixed for me by chance, as it probably was for many a dragon-slayer. I had been adequately armed by Russian Peter; the snake was old and lazy; and I had Ántonia beside me, to appreciate and admire.

Later experiences with rattlesnakes taught me that my first encounter was surprisingly lucky. My big rattler was old and had lived an easy life; there wasn't much fight left in him. He had probably been around for years, enjoying a fat prairie dog for breakfast whenever he felt like it, a cozy home, and maybe even an owl-feather bed. He had forgotten that the world doesn't owe rattlers a living. A snake of his size, in good fighting shape, would be more than any boy could handle. So really, it was a pretend adventure; the odds were in my favor, just like they probably were for many dragon-slayers. I had been well-equipped by Russian Peter; the snake was old and lazy; and I had Ántonia with me to admire and appreciate the moment.

That snake hung on our corral fence for several days; some of the neighbors came to see it and agreed that it was the biggest rattler[pg 056] ever killed in those parts. This was enough for Ántonia. She liked me better from that time on, and she never took a supercilious air with me again. I had killed a big snake—I was now a big fellow.

That snake stayed on our corral fence for several days; some of the neighbors came to check it out and agreed that it was the biggest rattler[pg 056] ever killed around here. That was enough for Ántonia. She liked me more from then on, and she never acted superior to me again. I had killed a big snake—I was now a big deal.


[pg 057]

VIII

While the autumn color was growing pale on the grass and cornfields, things went badly with our friends the Russians. Peter told his troubles to Mr. Shimerda: he was unable to meet a note which fell due on the first of November; had to pay an exorbitant bonus on renewing it, and to give a mortgage on his pigs and horses and even his milk cow. His creditor was Wick Cutter, the merciless Black Hawk money-lender, a man of evil name throughout the county, of whom I shall have more to say later. Peter could give no very clear account of his transactions with Cutter. He only knew that he had first borrowed two hundred dollars, then another hundred, then fifty—that each time a bonus was added to the principal, and the debt grew faster than any crop he planted. Now everything was plastered with mortgages.

While the fall colors were fading on the grass and cornfields, things were not going well for our Russian friends. Peter shared his troubles with Mr. Shimerda: he couldn’t pay off a note that was due on November 1; he had to pay an outrageous fee to renew it, and he had to put a mortgage on his pigs, horses, and even his milk cow. His lender was Wick Cutter, the ruthless Black Hawk moneylender, a man known for his bad reputation throughout the county, and I’ll have more to say about him later. Peter couldn't clearly explain his dealings with Cutter. He only knew that he had borrowed two hundred dollars at first, then another hundred, then fifty—that each time a fee was added to the main amount, and the debt grew faster than any crop he planted. Now everything was piled with mortgages.

Soon after Peter renewed his note, Pavel strained himself lifting timbers for a new barn, and fell over among the shavings with such a gush of blood from the lungs that his[pg 058] fellow-workmen thought he would die on the spot. They hauled him home and put him into his bed, and there he lay, very ill indeed. Misfortune seemed to settle like an evil bird on the roof of the log house, and to flap its wings there, warning human beings away. The Russians had such bad luck that people were afraid of them and liked to put them out of mind.

Soon after Peter renewed his note, Pavel overexerted himself lifting beams for a new barn and collapsed among the shavings with such a severe lung bleed that his fellow workers thought he might die right there. They took him home and laid him in bed, where he remained very sick. Misfortune seemed to perch like a dark bird on the roof of the log house, flapping its wings to warn people away. The Russians had such terrible luck that others were afraid of them and preferred to ignore them.

One afternoon Ántonia and her father came over to our house to get buttermilk, and lingered, as they usually did, until the sun was low. Just as they were leaving, Russian Peter drove up. Pavel was very bad, he said, and wanted to talk to Mr. Shimerda and his daughter; he had come to fetch them. When Ántonia and her father got into the wagon, I entreated grandmother to let me go with them: I would gladly go without my supper, I would sleep in the Shimerdas’ barn and run home in the morning. My plan must have seemed very foolish to her, but she was often large-minded about humoring the desires of other people. She asked Peter to wait a moment, and when she came back from the kitchen she brought a bag of sandwiches and doughnuts for us.

One afternoon, Ántonia and her dad came over to our house to get buttermilk and stayed longer than usual until the sun was setting. Just as they were leaving, Russian Peter pulled up. He said Pavel was very sick and wanted to talk to Mr. Shimerda and his daughter; he had come to take them. When Ántonia and her dad got into the wagon, I begged my grandmother to let me go with them: I would happily skip dinner, sleep in the Shimerdas’ barn, and run home in the morning. My plan must have seemed pretty silly to her, but she was usually generous about accommodating other people's wishes. She asked Peter to wait a moment, and when she returned from the kitchen, she brought a bag of sandwiches and doughnuts for us.

Mr. Shimerda and Peter were on the front[pg 059] seat; Ántonia and I sat in the straw behind and ate our lunch as we bumped along. After the sun sank, a cold wind sprang up and moaned over the prairie. If this turn in the weather had come sooner, I should not have got away. We burrowed down in the straw and curled up close together, watching the angry red die out of the west and the stars begin to shine in the clear, windy sky. Peter kept sighing and groaning. Tony whispered to me that he was afraid Pavel would never get well. We lay still and did not talk. Up there the stars grew magnificently bright. Though we had come from such different parts of the world, in both of us there was some dusky superstition that those shining groups have their influence upon what is and what is not to be. Perhaps Russian Peter, come from farther away than any of us, had brought from his land, too, some such belief.

Mr. Shimerda and Peter were in the front[pg 059] seat; Ántonia and I sat in the straw behind and had our lunch as we bounced along. After the sun went down, a chilly wind picked up and howled across the prairie. If this change in the weather had come earlier, I wouldn’t have been able to leave. We nestled down in the straw and curled up close together, watching the angry red fade from the west and the stars begin to twinkle in the clear, windy sky. Peter kept sighing and groaning. Tony whispered to me that he was worried Pavel wouldn’t recover. We lay there quietly and didn’t talk. Up there, the stars grew incredibly bright. Even though we came from such different parts of the world, there was something in both of us, some dark superstition, that those shining clusters have an effect on what is and what isn’t meant to be. Maybe Russian Peter, coming from farther away than any of us, had brought some similar belief from his home.

The little house on the hillside was so much the color of the night that we could not see it as we came up the draw. The ruddy windows guided us—the light from the kitchen stove, for there was no lamp burning.

The little house on the hillside was so dark that we couldn't see it as we approached up the draw. The warm glow from the kitchen windows directed us, as there wasn't a lamp on.

We entered softly. The man in the wide bed seemed to be asleep. Tony and I sat down[pg 060] on the bench by the wall and leaned our arms on the table in front of us. The firelight flickered on the hewn logs that supported the thatch overhead. Pavel made a rasping sound when he breathed, and he kept moaning. We waited. The wind shook the doors and windows impatiently, then swept on again, singing through the big spaces. Each gust, as it bore down, rattled the panes, and swelled off like the others. They made me think of defeated armies, retreating; or of ghosts who were trying desperately to get in for shelter, and then went moaning on. Presently, in one of those sobbing intervals between the blasts, the coyotes tuned up with their whining howl; one, two, three, then all together—to tell us that winter was coming. This sound brought an answer from the bed,—a long complaining cry,—as if Pavel were having bad dreams or were waking to some old misery. Peter listened, but did not stir. He was sitting on the floor by the kitchen stove. The coyotes broke out again; yap, yap, yap—then the high whine. Pavel called for something and struggled up on his elbow.

We entered quietly. The man in the big bed appeared to be asleep. Tony and I sat down[pg 060] on the bench by the wall and rested our arms on the table in front of us. The firelight flickered on the rough logs supporting the thatched roof above. Pavel made a harsh sound when he breathed and kept moaning. We waited. The wind shook the doors and windows restlessly, then moved on again, whistling through the large spaces. Each gust rattled the panes, then faded away just like the others. They reminded me of defeated armies retreating or ghosts trying desperately to find shelter before continuing their mournful cries. Eventually, during one of those sobbing pauses between the gusts, the coyotes started howling—one, two, three, and then all together—to let us know that winter was coming. This sound elicited a response from the bed—a long, complaining cry—like Pavel was having nightmares or waking up to some old pain. Peter listened but didn’t move. He was sitting on the floor by the kitchen stove. The coyotes howled again; yap, yap, yap—then the high-pitched wail. Pavel called out for something and struggled to prop himself up on his elbow.

“He is scared of the wolves,” Ántonia whispered to me. “In his country there are very[pg 061] many, and they eat men and women.” We slid closer together along the bench.

“He's afraid of the wolves,” Ántonia whispered to me. “In his country, there are a lot of them, and they eat men and women.” We scooted closer together on the bench.

I could not take my eyes off the man in the bed. His shirt was hanging open, and his emaciated chest, covered with yellow bristle, rose and fell horribly. He began to cough. Peter shuffled to his feet, caught up the tea-kettle and mixed him some hot water and whiskey. The sharp smell of spirits went through the room.

I couldn't look away from the man in the bed. His shirt was unbuttoned, and his skinny chest, covered in yellow hair, rose and fell painfully. He started to cough. Peter got up, grabbed the tea kettle, and mixed him some hot water with whiskey. The strong smell of alcohol filled the room.

Pavel snatched the cup and drank, then made Peter give him the bottle and slipped it under his pillow, grinning disagreeably, as if he had outwitted some one. His eyes followed Peter about the room with a contemptuous, unfriendly expression. It seemed to me that he despised him for being so simple and docile.

Pavel grabbed the cup and drank, then made Peter hand him the bottle and tucked it under his pillow, grinning unpleasantly, as if he had pulled a fast one on someone. His eyes tracked Peter around the room with a scornful, unfriendly look. It felt like he looked down on him for being so naive and obedient.

Presently Pavel began to talk to Mr. Shimerda, scarcely above a whisper. He was telling a long story, and as he went on, Ántonia took my hand under the table and held it tight. She leaned forward and strained her ears to hear him. He grew more and more excited, and kept pointing all around his bed, as if there were things there and he wanted Mr. Shimerda to see them.

Presently, Pavel started talking to Mr. Shimerda, hardly above a whisper. He was sharing a long story, and as he continued, Ántonia took my hand under the table and held it tightly. She leaned forward, straining to hear him. He became more and more animated, gesturing all around his bed as if there were things there that he wanted Mr. Shimerda to see.

[pg 062]

“It’s wolves, Jimmy,” Ántonia whispered. “It’s awful, what he says!”

“It’s wolves, Jimmy,” Ántonia whispered. “It’s terrible, what he says!”

The sick man raged and shook his fist. He seemed to be cursing people who had wronged him. Mr. Shimerda caught him by the shoulders, but could hardly hold him in bed. At last he was shut off by a coughing fit which fairly choked him. He pulled a cloth from under his pillow and held it to his mouth. Quickly it was covered with bright red spots—I thought I had never seen any blood so bright. When he lay down and turned his face to the wall, all the rage had gone out of him. He lay patiently fighting for breath, like a child with croup. Ántonia’s father uncovered one of his long bony legs and rubbed it rhythmically. From our bench we could see what a hollow case his body was. His spine and shoulder-blades stood out like the bones under the hide of a dead steer left in the fields. That sharp backbone must have hurt him when he lay on it.

The sick man was furious and shook his fist. He looked like he was cursing those who had wronged him. Mr. Shimerda grabbed him by the shoulders but could barely keep him in bed. Finally, he was interrupted by a coughing fit that nearly choked him. He took a cloth from under his pillow and held it to his mouth. It quickly became covered in bright red spots—I thought I had never seen blood that vivid before. When he lay down and turned his face to the wall, all the anger left him. He lay there patiently struggling for breath, like a child with croup. Ántonia’s father uncovered one of his long, bony legs and rubbed it rhythmically. From our bench, we could see how gaunt his body was. His spine and shoulder blades jutted out like the bones of a dead steer left in the fields. That sharp backbone must have hurt him when he lay on it.

Gradually, relief came to all of us. Whatever it was, the worst was over. Mr. Shimerda signed to us that Pavel was asleep. Without a word Peter got up and lit his lantern. He was going out to get his team to drive us[pg 063] home. Mr. Shimerda went with him. We sat and watched the long bowed back under the blue sheet, scarcely daring to breathe.

Gradually, we all felt a sense of relief. Whatever it was, the worst was over. Mr. Shimerda signaled to us that Pavel was asleep. Without saying a word, Peter stood up and lit his lantern. He was going out to get his team to drive us[pg 063] home. Mr. Shimerda went with him. We sat and watched the long, hunched back under the blue sheet, hardly daring to breathe.

On the way home, when we were lying in the straw, under the jolting and rattling Ántonia told me as much of the story as she could. What she did not tell me then, she told later; we talked of nothing else for days afterward.

On the way home, as we lay in the straw, with the jolting and rattling, Ántonia shared as much of the story as she could. What she didn't tell me then, she shared later; we talked about nothing else for days afterward.

 

When Pavel and Peter were young men, living at home in Russia, they were asked to be groomsmen for a friend who was to marry the belle of another village. It was in the dead of winter and the groom’s party went over to the wedding in sledges. Peter and Pavel drove in the groom’s sledge, and six sledges followed with all his relatives and friends.

When Pavel and Peter were young guys living at home in Russia, they were asked to be groomsmen for a friend who was marrying the most beautiful girl from another village. It was the middle of winter, and the groom’s party headed to the wedding in sleds. Peter and Pavel drove in the groom’s sled, followed by six more sleds with all his relatives and friends.

After the ceremony at the church, the party went to a dinner given by the parents of the bride. The dinner lasted all afternoon; then it became a supper and continued far into the night. There was much dancing and drinking. At midnight the parents of the bride said good-bye to her and blessed her. The groom took her up in his arms and carried her out to his sledge and tucked her under the[pg 064] blankets. He sprang in beside her, and Pavel and Peter (our Pavel and Peter!) took the front seat. Pavel drove. The party set out with singing and the jingle of sleigh-bells, the groom’s sledge going first. All the drivers were more or less the worse for merry-making, and the groom was absorbed in his bride.

After the ceremony at the church, the group headed to a dinner hosted by the bride's parents. The dinner went on all afternoon; then it turned into supper and continued late into the night. There was a lot of dancing and drinking. At midnight, the bride's parents said goodbye to her and gave her their blessings. The groom picked her up and carried her to his sled, tucking her under the[pg 064] blankets. He jumped in beside her, and Pavel and Peter (our Pavel and Peter!) took the front seat. Pavel drove. The group set off with singing and the sound of sleigh bells, with the groom’s sled leading the way. All the drivers were a bit tipsy from the celebrations, and the groom was completely focused on his bride.

The wolves were bad that winter, and every one knew it, yet when they heard the first wolf-cry, the drivers were not much alarmed. They had too much good food and drink inside them. The first howls were taken up and echoed and with quickening repetitions. The wolves were coming together. There was no moon, but the starlight was clear on the snow. A black drove came up over the hill behind the wedding party. The wolves ran like streaks of shadow; they looked no bigger than dogs, but there were hundreds of them.

The wolves were a real problem that winter, and everyone knew it, but when they heard the first wolf howl, the drivers weren’t too worried. They had plenty of good food and drink in them. The first howls were picked up and echoed back, and then repeated faster. The wolves were gathering. There was no moon, but the starlight lit up the snow. A dark pack appeared over the hill behind the wedding party. The wolves rushed in like shadows; they seemed no bigger than dogs, but there were hundreds of them.

Something happened to the hindmost sledge: the driver lost control,—he was probably very drunk,—the horses left the road, the sledge was caught in a clump of trees, and overturned. The occupants rolled out over the snow, and the fleetest of the wolves sprang upon them. The shrieks that followed made everybody sober. The drivers stood up and[pg 065] lashed their horses. The groom had the best team and his sledge was lightest—all the others carried from six to a dozen people.

Something happened to the last sled: the driver lost control—he was probably really drunk—the horses left the road, the sled got caught in a bunch of trees, and it flipped over. The people inside rolled out onto the snow, and the fastest of the wolves pounced on them. The screams that followed made everyone sober up. The drivers stood up and[pg 065] whipped their horses. The groom had the best team and his sled was the lightest—all the others carried anywhere from six to twelve people.

Another driver lost control. The screams of the horses were more terrible to hear than the cries of the men and women. Nothing seemed to check the wolves. It was hard to tell what was happening in the rear; the people who were falling behind shrieked as piteously as those who were already lost. The little bride hid her face on the groom’s shoulder and sobbed. Pavel sat still and watched his horses. The road was clear and white, and the groom’s three blacks went like the wind. It was only necessary to be calm and to guide them carefully.

Another driver lost control. The screams of the horses were more horrifying to hear than the cries of the men and women. Nothing seemed to stop the wolves. It was hard to see what was going on behind; the people who were falling behind screamed just as desperately as those who were already lost. The little bride buried her face on the groom’s shoulder and cried. Pavel sat still and watched his horses. The road was clear and white, and the groom’s three black horses raced like the wind. All that was needed was to stay calm and guide them carefully.

At length, as they breasted a long hill, Peter rose cautiously and looked back. “There are only three sledges left,” he whispered.

At last, as they climbed a long hill, Peter stood up carefully and looked back. “There are only three sleds left,” he whispered.

“And the wolves?” Pavel asked.

"And the wolves?" Pavel asked.

“Enough! Enough for all of us.”

“That's enough! That's enough for all of us.”

Pavel reached the brow of the hill, but only two sledges followed him down the other side. In that moment on the hilltop, they saw behind them a whirling black group on the snow. Presently the groom screamed. He saw his father’s sledge overturned, with his mother[pg 066] and sisters. He sprang up as if he meant to jump, but the girl shrieked and held him back. It was even then too late. The black ground-shadows were already crowding over the heap in the road, and one horse ran out across the fields, his harness hanging to him, wolves at his heels. But the groom’s movement had given Pavel an idea.

Pavel reached the top of the hill, but only two sleds followed him down the other side. In that moment on the hilltop, they saw a swirling black mass on the snow behind them. Suddenly, the groom screamed. He saw his father's sled flipped over, with his mother[pg 066] and sisters inside. He jumped up as if he was going to leap down, but the girl screamed and pulled him back. It was already too late. The dark shadows were closing in on the wreckage in the road, and one horse bolted across the fields, its harness hanging off, with wolves pursuing it. But the groom's movement had given Pavel an idea.

They were within a few miles of their village now. The only sledge left out of six was not very far behind them, and Pavel’s middle horse was failing. Beside a frozen pond something happened to the other sledge; Peter saw it plainly. Three big wolves got abreast of the horses, and the horses went crazy. They tried to jump over each other, got tangled up in the harness, and overturned the sledge.

They were now just a few miles from their village. The only sledge left out of six was not too far behind them, and Pavel’s middle horse was struggling. Next to a frozen pond, something happened to the other sledge; Peter saw it clearly. Three large wolves got in line with the horses, and the horses panicked. They attempted to jump over each other, got tangled in the harness, and flipped over the sledge.

When the shrieking behind them died away, Pavel realized that he was alone upon the familiar road. “They still come?” he asked Peter.

When the screaming behind them faded, Pavel realized he was alone on the familiar road. “Are they still coming?” he asked Peter.

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“How many?”

“How many people?”

“Twenty, thirty—enough.”

"Twenty, thirty—that's enough."

Now his middle horse was being almost dragged by the other two. Pavel gave Peter the reins and stepped carefully into the back of the sledge. He called to the groom that[pg 067] they must lighten—and pointed to the bride. The young man cursed him and held her tighter. Pavel tried to drag her away. In the struggle, the groom rose. Pavel knocked him over the side of the sledge and threw the girl after him. He said he never remembered exactly how he did it, or what happened afterward. Peter, crouching in the front seat, saw nothing. The first thing either of them noticed was a new sound that broke into the clear air, louder than they had ever heard it before—the bell of the monastery of their own village, ringing for early prayers.

Now his middle horse was almost being pulled by the other two. Pavel handed Peter the reins and carefully stepped into the back of the sledge. He called to the groom that[pg 067] they needed to lighten the load—and pointed to the bride. The young man cursed him and held her tighter. Pavel tried to pull her away. During the struggle, the groom stood up. Pavel knocked him over the side of the sledge and threw the girl after him. He said he never really remembered how he did it or what happened next. Peter, crouching in the front seat, saw nothing. The first thing either of them noticed was a new sound that broke into the clear air, louder than they had ever heard before—the bell of the monastery in their village, ringing for early prayers.

Pavel and Peter drove into the village alone, and they had been alone ever since. They were run out of their village. Pavel’s own mother would not look at him. They went away to strange towns, but when people learned where they came from, they were always asked if they knew the two men who had fed the bride to the wolves. Wherever they went, the story followed them. It took them five years to save money enough to come to America. They worked in Chicago, Des Moines, Fort Wayne, but they were always unfortunate. When Pavel’s health grew so bad, they decided to try farming.

Pavel and Peter drove into the village by themselves, and they had been on their own ever since. They were chased out of their village. Pavel’s own mother wouldn’t even look at him. They traveled to unfamiliar towns, but whenever people found out where they were from, they always asked if they knew the two guys who had fed the bride to the wolves. No matter where they went, the story followed them. It took them five years to save up enough money to come to America. They worked in Chicago, Des Moines, and Fort Wayne, but they were always unlucky. When Pavel’s health got really bad, they decided to try farming.

[pg 068]

Pavel died a few days after he unburdened his mind to Mr. Shimerda, and was buried in the Norwegian graveyard. Peter sold off everything, and left the country—went to be cook in a railway construction camp where gangs of Russians were employed.

Pavel died a few days after he shared his thoughts with Mr. Shimerda and was buried in the Norwegian cemetery. Peter sold everything and left the country—he went to work as a cook in a railway construction camp where groups of Russians were employed.

At his sale we bought Peter’s wheelbarrow and some of his harness. During the auction he went about with his head down, and never lifted his eyes. He seemed not to care about anything. The Black Hawk money-lender who held mortgages on Peter’s live-stock was there, and he bought in the sale notes at about fifty cents on the dollar. Every one said Peter kissed the cow before she was led away by her new owner. I did not see him do it, but this I know: after all his furniture and his cook-stove and pots and pans had been hauled off by the purchasers, when his house was stripped and bare, he sat down on the floor with his clasp-knife and ate all the melons that he had put away for winter. When Mr. Shimerda and Krajiek drove up in their wagon to take Peter to the train, they found him with a dripping beard, surrounded by heaps of melon rinds.

At the sale, we bought Peter's wheelbarrow and some of his harness. During the auction, he walked around with his head down and never looked up. He seemed indifferent to everything. The money-lender from Black Hawk, who had mortgages on Peter's livestock, was there and bought the sale notes for about fifty cents on the dollar. Everyone said Peter kissed the cow before her new owner took her away. I didn't see him do it, but I do know that after all his furniture, cook stove, and pots and pans had been taken away by the buyers, and his house was stripped bare, he sat down on the floor with his pocket knife and ate all the melons he had saved for winter. When Mr. Shimerda and Krajiek drove up in their wagon to take Peter to the train, they found him with a dripping beard, surrounded by piles of melon rinds.

The loss of his two friends had a depressing[pg 069] effect upon old Mr. Shimerda. When he was out hunting, he used to go into the empty log house and sit there, brooding. This cabin was his hermitage until the winter snows penned him in his cave. For Ántonia and me, the story of the wedding party was never at an end. We did not tell Pavel’s secret to any one, but guarded it jealously—as if the wolves of the Ukraine had gathered that night long ago, and the wedding party been sacrificed, to give us a painful and peculiar pleasure. At night, before I went to sleep, I often found myself in a sledge drawn by three horses, dashing through a country that looked something like Nebraska and something like Virginia.

The loss of his two friends had a heavy[pg 069] effect on old Mr. Shimerda. When he went hunting, he would often go into the empty log house and sit there, lost in thought. This cabin was his retreat until the winter snows trapped him in his cave. For Ántonia and me, the story of the wedding party never seemed to end. We didn’t share Pavel’s secret with anyone, but kept it closely guarded—as if the wolves from Ukraine had gathered that night long ago, and the wedding party had been sacrificed, just to give us a strange and bittersweet pleasure. At night, before I fell asleep, I often found myself in a sleigh pulled by three horses, racing through a landscape that felt like a mix of Nebraska and Virginia.


[pg 070]

IX

The first snowfall came early in December. I remember how the world looked from our sitting-room window as I dressed behind the stove that morning: the low sky was like a sheet of metal; the blond cornfields had faded out into ghostliness at last; the little pond was frozen under its stiff willow bushes. Big white flakes were whirling over everything and disappearing in the red grass.

The first snowfall came early in December. I remember how the world looked from our living room window as I got dressed behind the stove that morning: the low sky was like a metal sheet; the golden cornfields had finally faded into a ghostly haze; the little pond was frozen under the stiff willow trees. Big white flakes were swirling over everything and disappearing into the red grass.

Beyond the pond, on the slope that climbed to the cornfield, there was, faintly marked in the grass, a great circle where the Indians used to ride. Jake and Otto were sure that when they galloped round that ring the Indians tortured prisoners, bound to a stake in the center; but grandfather thought they merely ran races or trained horses there. Whenever one looked at this slope against the setting sun, the circle showed like a pattern in the grass; and this morning, when the first light spray of snow lay over it, it came out with wonderful distinctness, like strokes of Chinese white on canvas. The old figure stirred me as it had[pg 071] never done before and seemed a good omen for the winter.

Beyond the pond, on the slope leading up to the cornfield, there was a faint outline in the grass of a large circle where the Native Americans used to ride. Jake and Otto believed that when they charged around that ring, the Native Americans tortured prisoners tied to a stake in the center; but grandfather thought they just raced or trained horses there. Whenever you looked at this slope against the setting sun, the circle appeared like a design in the grass; and this morning, when the first light dusting of snow covered it, it stood out remarkably, like strokes of white paint on a canvas. The old image stirred something in me like never before and felt like a good sign for the winter.

As soon as the snow had packed hard I began to drive about the country in a clumsy sleigh that Otto Fuchs made for me by fastening a wooden goods-box on bobs. Fuchs had been apprenticed to a cabinet-maker in the old country and was very handy with tools. He would have done a better job if I had n’t hurried him. My first trip was to the post-office, and the next day I went over to take Yulka and Ántonia for a sleigh-ride.

As soon as the snow had settled, I started driving around the countryside in a clunky sleigh that Otto Fuchs made for me by attaching a wooden box to some runners. Fuchs had trained as a cabinetmaker back in the old country and was really good with tools. He would have done a better job if I hadn’t rushed him. My first trip was to the post office, and the next day I went over to take Yulka and Ántonia for a sleigh ride.

It was a bright, cold day. I piled straw and buffalo robes into the box, and took two hot bricks wrapped in old blankets. When I got to the Shimerdas’ I did not go up to the house, but sat in my sleigh at the bottom of the draw and called. Ántonia and Yulka came running out, wearing little rabbit-skin hats their father had made for them. They had heard about my sledge from Ambrosch and knew why I had come. They tumbled in beside me and we set off toward the north, along a road that happened to be broken.

It was a bright, chilly day. I loaded up straw and buffalo robes into the box and grabbed two hot bricks wrapped in old blankets. When I arrived at the Shimerdas’ place, I didn't go up to the house but sat in my sleigh at the bottom of the hill and called out. Ántonia and Yulka came running out, wearing little rabbit-skin hats their dad had made for them. They had heard about my sled from Ambrosch and knew why I was there. They jumped in next to me, and we set off north along a road that happened to be cleared.

The sky was brilliantly blue, and the sunlight on the glittering white stretches of prairie was almost blinding. As Ántonia said, the[pg 072] whole world was changed by the snow; we kept looking in vain for familiar landmarks. The deep arroyo through which Squaw Creek wound was now only a cleft between snow-drifts—very blue when one looked down into it. The tree-tops that had been gold all the autumn were dwarfed and twisted, as if they would never have any life in them again. The few little cedars, which were so dull and dingy before, now stood out a strong, dusky green. The wind had the burning taste of fresh snow; my throat and nostrils smarted as if some one had opened a hartshorn bottle. The cold stung, and at the same time delighted one. My horse’s breath rose like steam, and whenever we stopped he smoked all over. The cornfields got back a little of their color under the dazzling light, and stood the palest possible gold in the sun and snow. All about us the snow was crusted in shallow terraces, with tracings like ripple-marks at the edges, curly waves that were the actual impression of the stinging lash in the wind.

The sky was a vivid blue, and the sunlight reflecting off the sparkling white stretches of prairie was almost blinding. As Ántonia said, the[pg 072] entire world was transformed by the snow; we kept searching unsuccessfully for familiar landmarks. The deep arroyo where Squaw Creek flowed was now just a gap between snowdrifts—very blue when you looked down into it. The tree-tops that had been golden all autumn appeared stunted and twisted, as if they would never come to life again. The few little cedars, which had seemed so dull and dusty before, now stood out in a rich, dark green. The wind had the sharp taste of fresh snow; my throat and nostrils stung as if someone had opened a hartshorn bottle. The cold bit, yet also felt invigorating. My horse's breath rose like steam, and whenever we stopped, he was puffing out clouds of vapor. The cornfields regained a bit of their color under the dazzling light, shining a very pale gold in the sun and snow. All around us, the snow was crusted into shallow terraces, with patterns resembling ripple marks around the edges, wavy lines that were the actual imprint of the stinging lash of the wind.

The girls had on cotton dresses under their shawls; they kept shivering beneath the buffalo robes and hugging each other for warmth. But they were so glad to get away from their[pg 073] ugly cave and their mother’s scolding that they begged me to go on and on, as far as Russian Peter’s house. The great fresh open, after the stupefying warmth indoors, made them behave like wild things. They laughed and shouted, and said they never wanted to go home again. Could n’t we settle down and live in Russian Peter’s house, Yulka asked, and could n’t I go to town and buy things for us to keep house with?

The girls wore cotton dresses under their shawls; they kept shivering under the buffalo robes and hugging each other for warmth. But they were so happy to escape their ugly cave and their mother’s scolding that they begged me to go on and on, all the way to Russian Peter’s house. The great fresh open air, after the stifling heat indoors, made them act like wild animals. They laughed and shouted, saying they never wanted to go home again. “Can’t we settle down and live in Russian Peter’s house?” Yulka asked, “and can’t I go to town and buy things for us to live with?”

All the way to Russian Peter’s we were extravagantly happy, but when we turned back,—it must have been about four o’clock,—the east wind grew stronger and began to howl; the sun lost its heartening power and the sky became gray and somber. I took off my long woolen comforter and wound it around Yulka’s throat. She got so cold that we made her hide her head under the buffalo robe. Ántonia and I sat erect, but I held the reins clumsily, and my eyes were blinded by the wind a good deal of the time. It was growing dark when we got to their house, but I refused to go in with them and get warm. I knew my hands would ache terribly if I went near a fire. Yulka forgot to give me back my comforter, and I had to drive home directly[pg 074] against the wind. The next day I came down with an attack of quinsy, which kept me in the house for nearly two weeks.

All the way to Russian Peter’s, we were incredibly happy, but when we turned back—it must have been around four o'clock—the east wind picked up and started to howl; the sun lost its warm touch, and the sky turned gray and gloomy. I took off my long wool scarf and wrapped it around Yulka’s neck. She got so cold that we had her hide her head under the buffalo robe. Ántonia and I sat up straight, but I held the reins awkwardly, and my eyes were often blinded by the wind. It was getting dark when we reached their house, but I wouldn’t go in with them to warm up. I knew my hands would hurt badly if I got close to the fire. Yulka forgot to give me back my scarf, so I had to drive home directly against the wind. The next day, I came down with a case of quinsy, which kept me in the house for almost two weeks.

The basement kitchen seemed heavenly safe and warm in those days—like a tight little boat in a winter sea. The men were out in the fields all day, husking corn, and when they came in at noon, with long caps pulled down over their ears and their feet in red-lined overshoes, I used to think they were like Arctic explorers.

The basement kitchen felt incredibly cozy and warm back then—like a snug little boat in a winter sea. The men spent all day in the fields, husking corn, and when they came in at noon, with their long caps pulled down over their ears and their feet in red-lined overshoes, I used to think they looked like Arctic explorers.

In the afternoons, when grandmother sat upstairs darning, or making husking-gloves, I read “The Swiss Family Robinson” aloud to her, and I felt that the Swiss family had no advantages over us in the way of an adventurous life. I was convinced that man’s strongest antagonist is the cold. I admired the cheerful zest with which grandmother went about keeping us warm and comfortable and well-fed. She often reminded me, when she was preparing for the return of the hungry men, that this country was not like Virginia, and that here a cook had, as she said, “very little to do with.” On Sundays she gave us as much chicken as we could eat, and on other days we had ham or bacon or sausage meat.[pg 075] She baked either pies or cake for us every day, unless, for a change, she made my favorite pudding, striped with currants and boiled in a bag.

In the afternoons, when grandma sat upstairs sewing or making husking gloves, I read “The Swiss Family Robinson” aloud to her, and I felt that the Swiss family didn't have any advantages over us when it came to living an adventurous life. I was convinced that a person's biggest enemy is the cold. I admired the cheerful enthusiasm with which grandma worked to keep us warm, comfortable, and well-fed. She often reminded me, while getting ready for the hungry men to come back, that this place wasn’t like Virginia, and that here a cook had, as she put it, “very little to do with.” On Sundays, she gave us as much chicken as we wanted, and on other days, we had ham, bacon, or sausage. She baked either pies or cakes for us every day, unless for a change, she made my favorite pudding, which was striped with currants and boiled in a bag.[pg 075]

Next to getting warm and keeping warm, dinner and supper were the most interesting things we had to think about. Our lives centered around warmth and food and the return of the men at nightfall. I used to wonder, when they came in tired from the fields, their feet numb and their hands cracked and sore, how they could do all the chores so conscientiously: feed and water and bed the horses, milk the cows, and look after the pigs. When supper was over, it took them a long while to get the cold out of their bones. While grandmother and I washed the dishes and grandfather read his paper upstairs, Jake and Otto sat on the long bench behind the stove, “easing” their inside boots, or rubbing mutton tallow into their cracked hands.

Next to staying warm and keeping warm, dinner and supper were the most interesting things we had to think about. Our lives revolved around warmth, food, and the return of the men at nightfall. I used to wonder how they could do all the chores so diligently after coming in tired from the fields, with their feet numb and their hands cracked and sore: feeding and watering the horses, milking the cows, and taking care of the pigs. After supper, it took them a long time to warm up again. While grandmother and I washed the dishes and grandfather read his paper upstairs, Jake and Otto sat on the long bench behind the stove, “easing” their inside boots or rubbing mutton tallow into their cracked hands.

Every Saturday night we popped corn or made taffy, and Otto Fuchs used to sing, “For I Am a Cowboy and Know I’ve Done Wrong,” or, “Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairee.” He had a good baritone voice and always led the singing when we went to church services at the sod schoolhouse.

Every Saturday night, we made popcorn or taffy, and Otto Fuchs would sing, “For I Am a Cowboy and Know I’ve Done Wrong,” or, “Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairee.” He had a great baritone voice and always took the lead when we sang at church services in the sod schoolhouse.

[pg 076]

I can still see those two men sitting on the bench; Otto’s close-clipped head and Jake’s shaggy hair slicked flat in front by a wet comb. I can see the sag of their tired shoulders against the whitewashed wall. What good fellows they were, how much they knew, and how many things they had kept faith with!

I can still picture those two guys sitting on the bench; Otto’s closely cropped hair and Jake’s messy hair smoothed down in front by a wet comb. I can see the droop of their weary shoulders against the whitewashed wall. What great guys they were, how much they knew, and how many things they had remained loyal to!

Fuchs had been a cowboy, a stage-driver, a bar-tender, a miner; had wandered all over that great Western country and done hard work everywhere, though, as grandmother said, he had nothing to show for it. Jake was duller than Otto. He could scarcely read, wrote even his name with difficulty, and he had a violent temper which sometimes made him behave like a crazy man—tore him all to pieces and actually made him ill. But he was so soft-hearted that any one could impose upon him. If he, as he said, “forgot himself” and swore before grandmother, he went about depressed and shamefaced all day. They were both of them jovial about the cold in winter and the heat in summer, always ready to work overtime and to meet emergencies. It was a matter of pride with them not to spare themselves. Yet they were the sort[pg 077] of men who never get on, somehow, or do anything but work hard for a dollar or two a day.

Fuchs had been a cowboy, a stagecoach driver, a bartender, and a miner. He had traveled all over that vast Western region and put in hard work everywhere, though, as Grandma said, he had nothing to show for it. Jake was duller than Otto. He could barely read, struggled to write even his name, and had a bad temper that sometimes made him act like a madman—it tore him apart and even made him sick. But he was so soft-hearted that anyone could take advantage of him. If he, as he put it, “forgot himself” and swore in front of Grandma, he would walk around feeling down and embarrassed all day. Both of them were cheerful about the cold in winter and the heat in summer, always willing to work extra hours and handle unexpected situations. It was a source of pride for them not to hold back. Yet they were the kind of men who never seemed to get ahead, somehow, or do anything but work hard for just a dollar or two a day.

On those bitter, starlit nights, as we sat around the old stove that fed us and warmed us and kept us cheerful, we could hear the coyotes howling down by the corrals, and their hungry, wintry cry used to remind the boys of wonderful animal stories; about gray wolves and bears in the Rockies, wildcats and panthers in the Virginia mountains. Sometimes Fuchs could be persuaded to talk about the outlaws and desperate characters he had known. I remember one funny story about himself that made grandmother, who was working her bread on the bread-board, laugh until she wiped her eyes with her bare arm, her hands being floury. It was like this:—

On those chilly, starry nights, as we gathered around the old stove that provided us with warmth, nourishment, and cheer, we could hear the coyotes howling down by the corrals. Their hungry, wintry cries would remind the boys of amazing animal tales—stories about gray wolves and bears in the Rockies, wildcats and panthers in the Virginia mountains. Sometimes, Fuchs would be convinced to share stories about the outlaws and rough characters he had encountered. I remember one funny story about himself that had grandmother, who was busy working on the bread dough, laughing until she wiped her eyes with her bare arm, her hands covered in flour. It went like this:—

When Otto left Austria to come to America, he was asked by one of his relatives to look after a woman who was crossing on the same boat, to join her husband in Chicago. The woman started off with two children, but it was clear that her family might grow larger on the journey. Fuchs said he “got on fine with the kids,” and liked the mother, though she played a sorry trick on him. In mid-ocean she proceeded to have not one baby, but three![pg 078] This event made Fuchs the object of undeserved notoriety, since he was traveling with her. The steerage stewardess was indignant with him, the doctor regarded him with suspicion. The first-cabin passengers, who made up a purse for the woman, took an embarrassing interest in Otto, and often inquired of him about his charge. When the triplets were taken ashore at New York, he had, as he said, “to carry some of them.” The trip to Chicago was even worse than the ocean voyage. On the train it was very difficult to get milk for the babies and to keep their bottles clean. The mother did her best, but no woman, out of her natural resources, could feed three babies. The husband, in Chicago, was working in a furniture factory for modest wages, and when he met his family at the station he was rather crushed by the size of it. He, too, seemed to consider Fuchs in some fashion to blame. “I was sure glad,” Otto concluded, “that he did n’t take his hard feeling out on that poor woman; but he had a sullen eye for me, all right! Now, did you ever hear of a young feller’s having such hard luck, Mrs. Burden?”

When Otto left Austria to come to America, one of his relatives asked him to look after a woman who was traveling on the same boat to join her husband in Chicago. She started off with two kids, but it was clear her family might grow larger during the journey. Fuchs said he “got along great with the kids” and liked the mom, even though she pulled a surprising stunt on him. In the middle of the ocean, she had not just one baby, but three![pg 078] This turned Fuchs into an undeserved focal point of attention since he was traveling with her. The steerage stewardess was furious with him, and the doctor eyed him suspiciously. The first-class passengers, who pooled together to help the woman, took an awkward interest in Otto and often asked him about her. When the triplets were taken ashore in New York, he said he “had to carry some of them.” The trip to Chicago was even worse than the ocean journey. On the train, it was really tough to find milk for the babies and keep their bottles clean. The mother tried her best, but no woman could manage to feed three babies on her own. The husband, working modestly in a furniture factory in Chicago, seemed overwhelmed when he met his family at the station. He also seemed to blame Fuchs in some way. “I was really glad,” Otto concluded, “that he didn’t take his frustration out on that poor woman; but he definitely had a dark look for me! Now, have you ever heard of a young guy having such bad luck, Mrs. Burden?”

Grandmother told him she was sure the[pg 079] Lord had remembered these things to his credit, and had helped him out of many a scrape when he did n’t realize that he was being protected by Providence.

Grandmother told him she was sure the[pg 079] Lord had remembered these things in his favor and had helped him out of many tough situations when he didn’t even realize he was being watched over by Providence.


[pg 080]

X

For several weeks after my sleigh-ride, we heard nothing from the Shimerdas. My sore throat kept me indoors, and grandmother had a cold which made the housework heavy for her. When Sunday came she was glad to have a day of rest. One night at supper Fuchs told us he had seen Mr. Shimerda out hunting.

For several weeks after my sleigh ride, we didn’t hear anything from the Shimerdas. I had a sore throat that kept me indoors, and grandma had a cold which made the housework tough for her. When Sunday rolled around, she was happy to have a day to relax. One night at dinner, Fuchs told us he had spotted Mr. Shimerda out hunting.

“He’s made himself a rabbit-skin cap, Jim, and a rabbit-skin collar that he buttons on outside his coat. They ain’t got but one overcoat among ’em over there, and they take turns wearing it. They seem awful scared of cold, and stick in that hole in the bank like badgers.”

“He’s made himself a rabbit fur cap, Jim, and a rabbit fur collar that he buttons on outside his jacket. They only have one overcoat between them, and they take turns wearing it. They seem really scared of the cold and stay in that hole in the bank like badgers.”

“All but the crazy boy,” Jake put in. “He never wears the coat. Krajiek says he’s turrible strong and can stand anything. I guess rabbits must be getting scarce in this locality. Ambrosch come along by the cornfield yesterday where I was at work and showed me three prairie dogs he’d shot. He asked me if they was good to eat. I spit and made a face and took on, to scare him, but he just looked like[pg 081] he was smarter’n me and put ’em back in his sack and walked off.”

"Except for the crazy boy," Jake chimed in. "He never wears the coat. Krajiek says he’s really strong and can handle anything. I guess rabbits must be getting hard to find around here. Ambrosch came by the cornfield yesterday while I was working and showed me three prairie dogs he’d shot. He asked me if they were good to eat. I spat and made a face to scare him, but he just looked like he was smarter than me, put them back in his sack, and walked off."

Grandmother looked up in alarm and spoke to grandfather. “Josiah, you don’t suppose Krajiek would let them poor creatures eat prairie dogs, do you?”

Grandmother looked up, worried, and said to grandfather, “Josiah, do you think Krajiek would actually let those poor creatures eat prairie dogs?”

“You had better go over and see our neighbors to-morrow, Emmaline,” he replied gravely.

“You should go over and see our neighbors tomorrow, Emmaline,” he said seriously.

Fuchs put in a cheerful word and said prairie dogs were clean beasts and ought to be good for food, but their family connections were against them. I asked what he meant, and he grinned and said they belonged to the rat family.

Fuchs chimed in with a cheerful comment and said prairie dogs were clean animals and should be okay to eat, but their family connections worked against them. I asked what he meant, and he grinned and said they were part of the rat family.

When I went downstairs in the morning, I found grandmother and Jake packing a hamper basket in the kitchen.

When I went downstairs in the morning, I found Grandma and Jake packing a basket in the kitchen.

“Now, Jake,” grandmother was saying, “if you can find that old rooster that got his comb froze, just give his neck a twist, and we’ll take him along. There’s no good reason why Mrs. Shimerda could n’t have got hens from her neighbors last fall and had a henhouse going by now. I reckon she was confused and did n’t know where to begin. I’ve come strange to a new country myself, but I never forgot hens[pg 082] are a good thing to have, no matter what you don’t have.”

“Now, Jake,” Grandma was saying, “if you can find that old rooster with the frozen comb, just give his neck a twist, and we’ll take him with us. There’s no reason why Mrs. Shimerda couldn’t have gotten hens from her neighbors last fall and have a henhouse by now. I guess she was confused and didn’t know where to start. I’ve also felt out of place in a new country, but I never forgot that having hens is always a good thing, no matter what else you might lack.”

“Just as you say, mam,” said Jake, “but I hate to think of Krajiek getting a leg of that old rooster.” He tramped out through the long cellar and dropped the heavy door behind him.

“Just like you said, ma'am,” Jake replied, “but I really don't want to think about Krajiek getting a leg of that old rooster.” He stomped through the long cellar and shut the heavy door behind him.

After breakfast grandmother and Jake and I bundled ourselves up and climbed into the cold front wagon-seat. As we approached the Shimerdas’ we heard the frosty whine of the pump and saw Ántonia, her head tied up and her cotton dress blown about her, throwing all her weight on the pump-handle as it went up and down. She heard our wagon, looked back over her shoulder, and catching up her pail of water, started at a run for the hole in the bank.

After breakfast, Grandma, Jake, and I bundled up and climbed into the cold front wagon seat. As we got closer to the Shimerdas’, we heard the chilly whine of the pump and saw Ántonia, her head wrapped and her cotton dress blowing around her, putting all her weight on the pump handle as it moved up and down. She heard our wagon, glanced back over her shoulder, grabbed her pail of water, and took off running toward the hole in the bank.

Jake helped grandmother to the ground, saying he would bring the provisions after he had blanketed his horses. We went slowly up the icy path toward the door sunk in the drawside. Blue puffs of smoke came from the stovepipe that stuck out through the grass and snow, but the wind whisked them roughly away.

Jake helped Grandma down to the ground, saying he would bring the supplies after he had covered his horses. We walked slowly up the icy path toward the door set into the hillside. Blue puffs of smoke came from the stovepipe that poked up through the grass and snow, but the wind swept them away harshly.

Mrs. Shimerda opened the door before we[pg 083] knocked and seized grandmother’s hand. She did not say “How do!” as usual, but at once began to cry, talking very fast in her own language, pointing to her feet which were tied up in rags, and looking about accusingly at every one.

Mrs. Shimerda opened the door before we[pg 083] knocked and grabbed grandmother’s hand. She didn’t say “Hello!” like usual, but immediately started crying, speaking quickly in her language, pointing to her feet that were wrapped in rags, and looking around accusingly at everyone.

The old man was sitting on a stump behind the stove, crouching over as if he were trying to hide from us. Yulka was on the floor at his feet, her kitten in her lap. She peeped out at me and smiled, but, glancing up at her mother, hid again. Ántonia was washing pans and dishes in a dark corner. The crazy boy lay under the only window, stretched on a gunnysack stuffed with straw. As soon as we entered he threw a grainsack over the crack at the bottom of the door. The air in the cave was stifling, and it was very dark, too. A lighted lantern, hung over the stove, threw out a feeble yellow glimmer.

The old man was sitting on a stump behind the stove, hunched over as if he was trying to hide from us. Yulka was on the floor at his feet, with her kitten in her lap. She peeked out at me and smiled, but when she glanced up at her mother, she hid again. Ántonia was washing pans and dishes in a dark corner. The crazy boy lay under the only window, stretched out on a gunnysack filled with straw. As soon as we walked in, he threw a grain sack over the gap at the bottom of the door. The air in the cave was suffocating, and it was really dark as well. A lit lantern hung over the stove, casting a weak yellow glow.

Mrs. Shimerda snatched off the covers of two barrels behind the door, and made us look into them. In one there were some potatoes that had been frozen and were rotting, in the other was a little pile of flour. Grandmother murmured something in embarrassment, but the Bohemian woman laughed scornfully, a[pg 084] kind of whinny-laugh, and catching up an empty coffee-pot from the shelf, shook it at us with a look positively vindictive.

Ms. Shimerda threw off the covers of two barrels behind the door and made us look inside. One had some potatoes that had frozen and were rotting, and the other had a small pile of flour. Grandmother murmured something in embarrassment, but the Bohemian woman laughed mockingly, a[pg 084] kind of

Grandmother went on talking in her polite Virginia way, not admitting their stark need or her own remissness, until Jake arrived with the hamper, as if in direct answer to Mrs. Shimerda’s reproaches. Then the poor woman broke down. She dropped on the floor beside her crazy son, hid her face on her knees, and sat crying bitterly. Grandmother paid no heed to her, but called Ántonia to come and help empty the basket. Tony left her corner reluctantly. I had never seen her crushed like this before.

Grandmother kept talking in her polite Virginia style, not acknowledging their desperate situation or her own shortcomings, until Jake showed up with the basket, as if to respond directly to Mrs. Shimerda’s criticisms. That’s when the poor woman finally lost it. She dropped to the floor beside her troubled son, buried her face in her knees, and started crying hard. Grandmother ignored her and called Ántonia to come help empty the basket. Tony reluctantly left her spot. I had never seen her look so defeated before.

“You not mind my poor mamenka, Mrs. Burden. She is so sad,” she whispered, as she wiped her wet hands on her skirt and took the things grandmother handed her.

“You don't mind my poor mamenka, Ms. Burden. She's so sad,” she whispered, as she wiped her wet hands on her skirt and took the things her grandmother handed her.

The crazy boy, seeing the food, began to make soft, gurgling noises and stroked his stomach. Jake came in again, this time with a sack of potatoes. Grandmother looked about in perplexity.

The wild boy, spotting the food, started making soft, gurgling sounds and rubbed his stomach. Jake walked in again, this time with a bag of potatoes. Grandma looked around in confusion.

“Have n’t you got any sort of cave or cellar outside, Ántonia? This is no place to keep vegetables. How did your potatoes get frozen?”

“Don’t you have any kind of cave or cellar outside, Ántonia? This is not a good spot to store vegetables. How did your potatoes freeze?”

[pg 085]

“We get from Mr. Bushy, at the post-office,—what he throw out. We got no potatoes, Mrs. Burden,” Tony admitted mournfully.

“We get from Mr. Bushy, at the post office,—what he throws out. We got no potatoes, Mrs. Burden,” Tony admitted sadly.

When Jake went out, Marek crawled along the floor and stuffed up the door-crack again. Then, quietly as a shadow, Mr. Shimerda came out from behind the stove. He stood brushing his hand over his smooth gray hair, as if he were trying to clear away a fog about his head. He was clean and neat as usual, with his green neckcloth and his coral pin. He took grandmother’s arm and led her behind the stove, to the back of the room. In the rear wall was another little cave; a round hole, not much bigger than an oil barrel, scooped out in the black earth. When I got up on one of the stools and peered into it, I saw some quilts and a pile of straw. The old man held the lantern. “Yulka,” he said in a low, despairing voice, “Yulka; my Ántonia!”

When Jake went out, Marek crawled on the floor and blocked the door crack again. Then, as quietly as a shadow, Mr. Shimerda came out from behind the stove. He stood brushing his hand over his smooth gray hair, as if he were trying to clear away a fog in his mind. He was neat and clean as usual, wearing his green neckcloth and coral pin. He took grandmother’s arm and led her behind the stove, to the back of the room. In the rear wall was another small nook; a round hole, not much bigger than an oil barrel, dug out of the black earth. When I climbed onto one of the stools and looked inside, I saw some quilts and a pile of straw. The old man held the lantern. “Yulka,” he said in a low, desperate voice, “Yulka; my Ántonia!”

Grandmother drew back. “You mean they sleep in there,—your girls?” He bowed his head.

Grandmother pulled back. “You mean they sleep in there—your girls?” He nodded his head.

Tony slipped under his arm. “It is very cold on the floor, and this is warm like the badger hole. I like for sleep there,” she insisted eagerly. “My mamenka have nice bed,[pg 086] with pillows from our own geese in Bohemie. See, Jim?” She pointed to the narrow bunk which Krajiek had built against the wall for himself before the Shimerdas came.

Tony slipped under his arm. “The floor is really cold, and this is warm like a badger's den. I want to sleep here,” she insisted eagerly. “My mamenka has a nice bed,[pg 086] with pillows made from our own geese in Bohemia. See, Jim?” She pointed to the narrow bunk that Krajiek had built against the wall for himself before the Shimerdas arrived.

Grandmother sighed. “Sure enough, where would you sleep, dear! I don’t doubt you’re warm there. You’ll have a better house after while, Ántonia, and then you’ll forget these hard times.”

Grandmother sighed. “Sure enough, where are you going to sleep, dear! I don’t doubt you’re cozy there. You’ll have a nicer place eventually, Ántonia, and then you’ll forget about these tough times.”

Mr. Shimerda made grandmother sit down on the only chair and pointed his wife to a stool beside her. Standing before them with his hand on Ántonia’s shoulder, he talked in a low tone, and his daughter translated. He wanted us to know that they were not beggars in the old country; he made good wages, and his family were respected there. He left Bohemia with more than a thousand dollars in savings, after their passage money was paid. He had in some way lost on exchange in New York, and the railway fare to Nebraska was more than they had expected. By the time they paid Krajiek for the land, and bought his horses and oxen and some old farm machinery, they had very little money left. He wished grandmother to know, however, that he still had some money. If they[pg 087] could get through until spring came, they would buy a cow and chickens and plant a garden, and would then do very well. Ambrosch and Ántonia were both old enough to work in the fields, and they were willing to work. But the snow and the bitter weather had disheartened them all.

Mr. Shimerda had grandmother sit down on the only chair and motioned for his wife to take a stool beside her. Standing in front of them with his hand on Ántonia’s shoulder, he spoke quietly, and his daughter translated. He wanted us to understand that they weren't beggars back in their home country; he earned a decent wage and his family was respected there. He left Bohemia with over a thousand dollars in savings after covering their travel expenses. He somehow lost money on the exchange in New York, and the train fare to Nebraska was higher than they anticipated. By the time they paid Krajiek for the land and bought horses, oxen, and some old farming equipment, they had very little money left. Nevertheless, he wanted grandmother to know that he still had some funds. If they could get through until spring, they planned to buy a cow and chickens and plant a garden, and then they would be just fine. Ambrosch and Ántonia were both old enough to help out in the fields, and they were willing to work. But the snow and the bitter cold had taken the spirit out of them all.

Ántonia explained that her father meant to build a new house for them in the spring; he and Ambrosch had already split the logs for it, but the logs were all buried in the snow, along the creek where they had been felled.

Ántonia explained that her dad planned to build a new house for them in the spring; he and Ambrosch had already cut the logs for it, but the logs were all buried in the snow by the creek where they had been taken down.

While grandmother encouraged and gave them advice, I sat down on the floor with Yulka and let her show me her kitten. Marek slid cautiously toward us and began to exhibit his webbed fingers. I knew he wanted to make his queer noises for me—to bark like a dog or whinny like a horse,—but he did not dare in the presence of his elders. Marek was always trying to be agreeable, poor fellow, as if he had it on his mind that he must make up for his deficiencies.

While Grandma offered encouragement and advice, I sat on the floor with Yulka and let her show me her kitten. Marek cautiously slid over to us and started to show off his webbed fingers. I knew he wanted to make his funny noises for me—like barking like a dog or whinnying like a horse—but he didn’t dare do it in front of the adults. Poor Marek was always trying to be agreeable, as if he felt he needed to compensate for his differences.

Mrs. Shimerda grew more calm and reasonable before our visit was over, and, while Ántonia translated, put in a word now and then[pg 088] on her own account. The woman had a quick ear, and caught up phrases whenever she heard English spoken. As we rose to go, she opened her wooden chest and brought out a bag made of bed-ticking, about as long as a flour sack and half as wide, stuffed full of something. At sight of it, the crazy boy began to smack his lips. When Mrs. Shimerda opened the bag and stirred the contents with her hand, it gave out a salty, earthy smell, very pungent, even among the other odors of that cave. She measured a teacup full, tied it up in a bit of sacking, and presented it ceremoniously to grandmother.

Mrs. Shimerda became calmer and more reasonable before our visit ended, and while Ántonia translated, she chimed in occasionally[pg 088]. The woman had a sharp ear and picked up phrases whenever she heard English spoken. As we were about to leave, she opened her wooden chest and pulled out a bag made of bed-ticking, roughly the size of a flour sack but half as wide, filled with something. When he saw it, the crazy boy started licking his lips. When Mrs. Shimerda opened the bag and stirred the contents with her hand, it released a strong, salty, earthy smell, very intense even among the other odors in that cave. She measured out a teacup full, tied it up in a piece of sacking, and ceremoniously handed it to grandmother.

“For cook,” she announced. “Little now; be very much when cook,” spreading out her hands as if to indicate that the pint would swell to a gallon. “Very good. You no have in this country. All things for eat better in my country.”

“For the cook,” she announced. “Little now; but it will be a lot when it’s for the cook,” spreading her hands as if to show that a pint would grow to a gallon. “Very good. You don’t have that in this country. All the food is better in my country.”

“Maybe so, Mrs. Shimerda,” grandmother said drily. “I can’t say but I prefer our bread to yours, myself.”

“Maybe so, Ms. Shimerda,” grandmother said dryly. “I have to admit I like our bread better than yours.”

Illustration: Mrs. Shimerda gathering mushrooms in a Bohemian forest

Ántonia undertook to explain. “This very good, Mrs. Burden,”—she clasped her hands as if she could not express how good,—“it make very much when you cook, like what[pg 089] my mama say. Cook with rabbit, cook with chicken, in the gravy,—oh, so good!”

Ántonia began to explain. “This is really good, Ms. Burden,”—she clasped her hands as if she couldn't express how great it was,—“it makes a big difference when you cook, just like my mama says. Cooking with rabbit, cooking with chicken, in the gravy—oh, it’s so good!”

All the way home grandmother and Jake talked about how easily good Christian people could forget they were their brothers’ keepers.

All the way home, Grandma and Jake talked about how easily good Christian people could forget they were their brothers' keepers.

“I will say, Jake, some of our brothers and sisters are hard to keep. Where’s a body to begin, with these people? They’re wanting in everything, and most of all in horse-sense. Nobody can give ’em that, I guess. Jimmy, here, is about as able to take over a homestead as they are. Do you reckon that boy Ambrosch has any real push in him?”

“I have to say, Jake, some of our brothers and sisters are really difficult to manage. Where do you even start with these people? They lack everything, especially common sense. I don’t think anyone can teach them that. Jimmy here is just as capable of running a homestead as they are. Do you think that kid Ambrosch has any real drive in him?”

“He’s a worker, all right, mam, and he’s got some ketch-on about him; but he’s a mean one. Folks can be mean enough to get on in this world; and then, ag’in, they can be too mean.”

"He's definitely a hard worker, ma'am, and he has a certain charm, but he's really stingy. People can be ruthless enough to succeed in this world; but then again, they can be too ruthless."

That night, while grandmother was getting supper, we opened the package Mrs. Shimerda had given her. It was full of little brown chips that looked like the shavings of some root. They were as light as feathers, and the most noticeable thing about them was their penetrating, earthy odor. We could not determine whether they were animal or vegetable.

That night, while Grandma was making dinner, we opened the package Mrs. Shimerda had given her. It was filled with little brown chips that resembled the shavings of some root. They were as light as feathers, and the most striking thing about them was their strong, earthy smell. We couldn’t tell if they were from an animal or a plant.

“They might be dried meat from some[pg 090] queer beast, Jim. They ain’t dried fish, and they never grew on stalk or vine. I’m afraid of ’em. Anyhow, I should n’t want to eat anything that had been shut up for months with old clothes and goose pillows.”

“They could be dried meat from some[pg 090] strange animal, Jim. They’re not dried fish, and they definitely didn’t grow on a stalk or vine. I’m scared of them. Besides, I wouldn’t want to eat anything that had been stored for months alongside old clothes and goose feathers.”

She threw the package into the stove, but I bit off a corner of one of the chips I held in my hand, and chewed it tentatively. I never forgot the strange taste; though it was many years before I knew that those little brown shavings, which the Shimerdas had brought so far and treasured so jealously, were dried mushrooms. They had been gathered, probably, in some deep Bohemian forest …

She tossed the package into the stove, but I bit off a corner of one of the chips I was holding and chewed it hesitantly. I'll never forget the unusual taste; even though it was many years later that I learned those little brown shavings, which the Shimerdas had brought from so far away and valued so highly, were dried mushrooms. They had likely been picked in some deep forest in Bohemia...


[pg 091]

XI

During the week before Christmas, Jake was the most important person of our household, for he was to go to town and do all our Christmas shopping. But on the 21st of December, the snow began to fall. The flakes came down so thickly that from the sitting-room windows I could not see beyond the windmill—its frame looked dim and gray, unsubstantial like a shadow. The snow did not stop falling all day, or during the night that followed. The cold was not severe, but the storm was quiet and resistless. The men could not go farther than the barns and corral. They sat about the house most of the day as if it were Sunday; greasing their boots, mending their suspenders, plaiting whiplashes.

During the week before Christmas, Jake was the most important person in our household, since he was going to town to do all our Christmas shopping. But on December 21st, the snow started to fall. The flakes came down so thickly that from the living room windows I could barely see beyond the windmill—its structure looked dim and gray, almost like a shadow. The snow didn’t stop falling all day or during the night that followed. The cold wasn’t severe, but the storm was quiet and relentless. The men couldn’t go farther than the barns and corral. They lounged around the house most of the day as if it were Sunday; greasing their boots, mending their suspenders, and braiding whiplashes.

On the morning of the 22d, grandfather announced at breakfast that it would be impossible to go to Black Hawk for Christmas purchases. Jake was sure he could get through on horseback, and bring home our things in saddle-bags; but grandfather told him the roads would be obliterated, and a newcomer[pg 092] in the country would be lost ten times over. Anyway, he would never allow one of his horses to be put to such a strain.

On the morning of the 22nd, Grandpa announced at breakfast that it would be impossible to go to Black Hawk for Christmas shopping. Jake was confident he could make it on horseback and bring our things back in saddle bags, but Grandpa told him the roads would be covered, and someone new to the area would get lost multiple times. Regardless, he would never let one of his horses go through that kind of stress.

We decided to have a country Christmas, without any help from town. I had wanted to get some picture-books for Yulka and Ántonia; even Yulka was able to read a little now. Grandmother took me into the ice-cold storeroom, where she had some bolts of gingham and sheeting. She cut squares of cotton cloth and we sewed them together into a book. We bound it between pasteboards, which I covered with brilliant calico, representing scenes from a circus. For two days I sat at the dining-room table, pasting this book full of pictures for Yulka. We had files of those good old family magazines which used to publish colored lithographs of popular paintings, and I was allowed to use some of these. I took “Napoleon Announcing the Divorce to Josephine” for my frontispiece. On the white pages I grouped Sunday-School cards and advertising cards which I had brought from my “old country.” Fuchs got out the old candle-moulds and made tallow candles. Grandmother hunted up her fancy cake-cutters and baked gingerbread men and roosters,[pg 093] which we decorated with burnt sugar and red cinnamon drops.

We decided to have a country Christmas without any help from town. I wanted to get some picture books for Yulka and Ántonia; even Yulka could read a little now. Grandmother took me into the ice-cold storeroom, where she had some bolts of gingham and sheets. She cut squares of cotton cloth, and we sewed them together into a book. We bound it between pasteboards, which I covered with bright calico, showing scenes from a circus. For two days, I sat at the dining room table, gluing this book full of pictures for Yulka. We had stacks of those good old family magazines that used to print colored lithographs of popular paintings, and I was allowed to use some of these. I chose “Napoleon Announcing the Divorce to Josephine” for my frontispiece. On the blank pages, I arranged Sunday School cards and advertising cards that I brought from my “old country.” Fuchs took out the old candle molds and made tallow candles. Grandmother dug out her fancy cake cutters and baked gingerbread men and roosters, which we decorated with burnt sugar and red cinnamon drops.[pg 093]

On the day before Christmas, Jake packed the things we were sending to the Shimerdas in his saddle-bags and set off on grandfather’s gray gelding. When he mounted his horse at the door, I saw that he had a hatchet slung to his belt, and he gave grandmother a meaning look which told me he was planning a surprise for me. That afternoon I watched long and eagerly from the sitting-room window. At last I saw a dark spot moving on the west hill, beside the half-buried cornfield, where the sky was taking on a coppery flush from the sun that did not quite break through. I put on my cap and ran out to meet Jake. When I got to the pond I could see that he was bringing in a little cedar tree across his pommel. He used to help my father cut Christmas trees for me in Virginia, and he had not forgotten how much I liked them.

On the day before Christmas, Jake packed the things we were sending to the Shimerdas into his saddle bags and took off on grandfather’s gray gelding. When he got on his horse at the door, I noticed he had a hatchet hanging from his belt, and he gave grandmother a meaningful look that told me he was planning a surprise for me. That afternoon, I watched eagerly from the sitting room window. Finally, I spotted a dark shape moving on the west hill, next to the half-buried cornfield, where the sky was turning a coppery color from the sun that wasn’t quite breaking through. I put on my cap and ran out to meet Jake. When I reached the pond, I could see he was bringing in a small cedar tree over his pommel. He used to help my father cut Christmas trees for me in Virginia, and he hadn’t forgotten how much I loved them.

By the time we had placed the cold, fresh-smelling little tree in a corner of the sitting-room, it was already Christmas Eve. After supper we all gathered there, and even grandfather, reading his paper by the table, looked up with friendly interest now and then.[pg 094] The cedar was about five feet high and very shapely. We hung it with the gingerbread animals, strings of popcorn, and bits of candle which Fuchs had fitted into pasteboard sockets. Its real splendors, however, came from the most unlikely place in the world—from Otto’s cowboy trunk. I had never seen anything in that trunk but old boots and spurs and pistols, and a fascinating mixture of yellow leather thongs, cartridges, and shoemaker’s wax. From under the lining he now produced a collection of brilliantly colored paper figures, several inches high and stiff enough to stand alone. They had been sent to him year after year, by his old mother in Austria. There was a bleeding heart, in tufts of paper lace; there were the three kings, gorgeously appareled, and the ox and the ass and the shepherds; there was the Baby in the manger, and a group of angels, singing; there were camels and leopards, held by the black slaves of the three kings. Our tree became the talking tree of the fairy tale; legends and stories nestled like birds in its branches. Grandmother said it reminded her of the Tree of Knowledge. We put sheets of cotton wool under it for a snow-field, and Jake’s pocket-mirror for a frozen lake.

By the time we had set the cold, fresh-smelling little tree in a corner of the living room, it was already Christmas Eve. After dinner, we all gathered there, and even Grandfather, reading his newspaper at the table, looked up with friendly interest now and then.[pg 094] The cedar was about five feet tall and very attractive. We decorated it with the gingerbread animals, strings of popcorn, and little bits of candle that Fuchs had fitted into cardboard sockets. Its true decorations, however, came from the most unexpected place—in Otto’s cowboy trunk. I had only ever seen old boots, spurs, pistols, and an intriguing mix of yellow leather thongs, cartridges, and shoemaker’s wax in that trunk. From under the lining, he now pulled out a collection of brightly colored paper figures, several inches tall and sturdy enough to stand on their own. They had been sent to him year after year by his old mother in Austria. There was a bleeding heart, adorned with tufts of paper lace; the three kings, dressed in gorgeous robes; the ox, the donkey, and the shepherds; the Baby in the manger; and a group of angels singing; there were camels and leopards, held by the black servants of the three kings. Our tree turned into the talking tree from a fairy tale; legends and stories perched like birds in its branches. Grandmother said it reminded her of the Tree of Knowledge. We placed sheets of cotton wool underneath for a snow field and Jake’s pocket mirror for a frozen lake.

[pg 095]

I can see them now, exactly as they looked, working about the table in the lamplight: Jake with his heavy features, so rudely moulded that his face seemed, somehow, unfinished; Otto with his half-ear and the savage scar that made his upper lip curl so ferociously under his twisted mustache. As I remember them, what unprotected faces they were; their very roughness and violence made them defenseless. These boys had no practiced manner behind which they could retreat and hold people at a distance. They had only their hard fists to batter at the world with. Otto was already one of those drifting, case-hardened laborers who never marry or have children of their own. Yet he was so fond of children!

I can see them now, just as they were, working around the table in the light of the lamp: Jake with his heavy features, so roughly shaped that his face looked, in a way, unfinished; Otto with his half-ear and the brutal scar that made his upper lip curl fiercely under his twisted mustache. As I recall them, their faces were so vulnerable; their rawness and aggression made them defenseless. These guys had no polished demeanor to hide behind and keep people at arm's length. They had only their strong fists to fight against the world. Otto was already one of those wandering, hardened workers who never marry or have kids of their own. Yet he cared so much for children!


[pg 096]

XII

On Christmas morning, when I got down to the kitchen, the men were just coming in from their morning chores—the horses and pigs always had their breakfast before we did. Jake and Otto shouted “Merry Christmas”! to me, and winked at each other when they saw the waffle-irons on the stove. Grandfather came down, wearing a white shirt and his Sunday coat. Morning prayers were longer than usual. He read the chapters from St. Matthew about the birth of Christ, and as we listened it all seemed like something that had happened lately, and near at hand. In his prayer he thanked the Lord for the first Christmas, and for all that it had meant to the world ever since. He gave thanks for our food and comfort, and prayed for the poor and destitute in great cities, where the struggle for life was harder than it was here with us. Grandfather’s prayers were often very interesting. He had the gift of simple and moving expression. Because he talked so little, his words had a peculiar force; they were not[pg 097] worn dull from constant use. His prayers reflected what he was thinking about at the time, and it was chiefly through them that we got to know his feelings and his views about things.

On Christmas morning, when I walked into the kitchen, the guys were just coming in from their morning chores—the horses and pigs always had their breakfast before we did. Jake and Otto shouted "Merry Christmas!" at me and winked at each other when they saw the waffle irons on the stove. Grandfather came down wearing a white shirt and his Sunday coat. Morning prayers were longer than usual. He read the chapters from Saint Matthew about the birth of Christ, and as we listened, it all felt like something that had happened recently and close by. In his prayer, he thanked the Lord for the first Christmas and for everything it had meant to the world ever since. He expressed gratitude for our food and comfort, and prayed for the poor and needy in big cities, where the struggle for survival was tougher than it was here with us. Grandfather’s prayers were often very engaging. He had a knack for simple and heartfelt expression. Because he spoke so little, his words had a unique strength; they weren’t worn out from constant use. His prayers reflected what he was thinking about at the time, and it was mainly through them that we got to know his feelings and opinions about things.

After we sat down to our waffles and sausage, Jake told us how pleased the Shimerdas had been with their presents; even Ambrosch was friendly and went to the creek with him to cut the Christmas tree. It was a soft gray day outside, with heavy clouds working across the sky, and occasional squalls of snow. There were always odd jobs to be done about the barn on holidays, and the men were busy until afternoon. Then Jake and I played dominoes, while Otto wrote a long letter home to his mother. He always wrote to her on Christmas Day, he said, no matter where he was, and no matter how long it had been since his last letter. All afternoon he sat in the dining-room. He would write for a while, then sit idle, his clenched fist lying on the table, his eyes following the pattern of the oilcloth. He spoke and wrote his own language so seldom that it came to him awkwardly. His effort to remember entirely absorbed him.

After we settled down with our waffles and sausage, Jake told us how happy the Shimerdas were with their gifts; even Ambrosch was nice and went to the creek with him to chop down the Christmas tree. It was a soft gray day outside, with dark clouds drifting across the sky, and occasional bursts of snow. There were always odd jobs to tackle around the barn on holidays, and the men were busy until the afternoon. Then Jake and I played dominoes while Otto wrote a long letter to his mom. He always wrote to her on Christmas Day, he said, no matter where he was or how long it had been since his last letter. He spent all afternoon in the dining room. He would write for a bit, then sit still, his clenched fist resting on the table, his eyes tracing the pattern on the oilcloth. He spoke and wrote his own language so infrequently that it felt awkward to him. His struggle to remember completely absorbed him.

At about four o’clock a visitor appeared:[pg 098] Mr. Shimerda, wearing his rabbit-skin cap and collar, and new mittens his wife had knitted. He had come to thank us for the presents, and for all grandmother’s kindness to his family. Jake and Otto joined us from the basement and we sat about the stove, enjoying the deepening gray of the winter afternoon and the atmosphere of comfort and security in my grandfather’s house. This feeling seemed completely to take possession of Mr. Shimerda. I suppose, in the crowded clutter of their cave, the old man had come to believe that peace and order had vanished from the earth, or existed only in the old world he had left so far behind. He sat still and passive, his head resting against the back of the wooden rocking-chair, his hands relaxed upon the arms. His face had a look of weariness and pleasure, like that of sick people when they feel relief from pain. Grandmother insisted on his drinking a glass of Virginia apple-brandy after his long walk in the cold, and when a faint flush came up in his cheeks, his features might have been cut out of a shell, they were so transparent. He said almost nothing, and smiled rarely; but as he rested there we all had a sense of his utter content.

At about four o’clock, a visitor arrived: [pg 098] Mr. Shimerda, wearing his rabbit-skin cap and collar, along with the new mittens his wife had knitted. He had come to thank us for the gifts and for all of grandmother’s kindness to his family. Jake and Otto joined us from the basement, and we gathered around the stove, enjoying the deepening gray of the winter afternoon and the cozy, secure atmosphere of my grandfather’s house. This feeling seemed to completely envelop Mr. Shimerda. I guess that in the cramped, cluttered space of their cave, the old man had started to believe that peace and order had disappeared from the earth, or existed only in the old world he had left behind. He sat still and relaxed, his head resting against the back of the wooden rocking chair, his hands resting loosely on the arms. His face showed a mix of weariness and pleasure, like that of sick people when they finally find relief from pain. Grandmother insisted that he drink a glass of Virginia apple brandy after his long walk in the cold, and when a faint blush appeared in his cheeks, his features looked so delicate they seemed almost transparent. He barely spoke and smiled infrequently, but as he rested there, we all sensed his complete contentment.

Illustration: Jake bringing home a Christmas tree
[pg 099]

As it grew dark, I asked whether I might light the Christmas tree before the lamp was brought. When the candle ends sent up their conical yellow flames, all the colored figures from Austria stood out clear and full of meaning against the green boughs. Mr. Shimerda rose, crossed himself, and quietly knelt down before the tree, his head sunk forward. His long body formed a letter “S.” I saw grandmother look apprehensively at grandfather. He was rather narrow in religious matters, and sometimes spoke out and hurt people’s feelings. There had been nothing strange about the tree before, but now, with some one kneeling before it,—images, candles, … Grandfather merely put his finger-tips to his brow and bowed his venerable head, thus Protestantizing the atmosphere.

As it got dark, I asked if I could light the Christmas tree before the lamp was brought in. When the candle ends flickered with their yellow flames, all the colorful figures from Austria stood out clearly against the green branches. Mr. Shimerda got up, crossed himself, and quietly knelt down in front of the tree, his head bowed. His tall frame made a letter “S.” I noticed grandma looking nervously at grandpa. He was a bit strict when it came to religion and sometimes spoke his mind, which could hurt people's feelings. The tree hadn’t seemed unusual before, but now, with someone kneeling in front of it—images, candles… Grandpa simply touched his fingertips to his forehead and bowed his honorable head, creating a more Protestant atmosphere.

We persuaded our guest to stay for supper with us. He needed little urging. As we sat down to the table, it occurred to me that he liked to look at us, and that our faces were open books to him. When his deep-seeing eyes rested on me, I felt as if he were looking far ahead into the future for me, down the road I would have to travel.

We convinced our guest to stay for dinner with us. He required little prompting. As we sat down at the table, it struck me that he enjoyed observing us, and that our faces were like open books to him. When his penetrating gaze settled on me, I felt as if he were peering deeply into my future, down the path I would have to follow.

At nine o’clock Mr. Shimerda lighted one[pg 100] of our lanterns and put on his overcoat and fur collar. He stood in the little entry hall, the lantern and his fur cap under his arm, shaking hands with us. When he took grandmother’s hand, he bent over it as he always did, and said slowly, “Good wo-man!” He made the sign of the cross over me, put on his cap and went off in the dark. As we turned back to the sitting-room, grandfather looked at me searchingly. “The prayers of all good people are good,” he said quietly.

At nine o’clock, Mr. Shimerda lit one of our lanterns and put on his overcoat and fur collar. He stood in the small entry hall, holding the lantern and his fur cap under his arm, shaking hands with us. When he took grandmother’s hand, he bent over it like he always did and said slowly, “Good woman!” He made the sign of the cross over me, put on his cap, and went off into the dark. As we turned back to the sitting room, grandfather looked at me closely. “The prayers of all good people are good,” he said quietly.


[pg 101]

XIII

The week following Christmas brought in a thaw, and by New Year’s Day all the world about us was a broth of gray slush, and the guttered slope between the windmill and the barn was running black water. The soft black earth stood out in patches along the roadsides. I resumed all my chores, carried in the cobs and wood and water, and spent the afternoons at the barn, watching Jake shell corn with a hand-sheller.

The week after Christmas brought a warm spell, and by New Year’s Day everywhere was a mix of gray slush, with the sloped area between the windmill and the barn flowing with dark water. The rich black soil was visible in patches along the sides of the roads. I got back to my chores, bringing in the corn cobs, wood, and water, and spent the afternoons in the barn, watching Jake use a hand-sheller to shell corn.

One morning, during this interval of fine weather, Ántonia and her mother rode over on one of their shaggy old horses to pay us a visit. It was the first time Mrs. Shimerda had been to our house, and she ran about examining our carpets and curtains and furniture, all the while commenting upon them to her daughter in an envious, complaining tone. In the kitchen she caught up an iron pot that stood on the back of the stove and said: “You got many, Shimerdas no got.” I thought it weak-minded of grandmother to give the pot to her.

One morning, during this stretch of nice weather, Ántonia and her mom came over on one of their scruffy old horses to visit us. It was the first time Mrs. Shimerda had been to our place, and she hurried around checking out our carpets, curtains, and furniture, all the while making comments to her daughter with an envious, complaining tone. In the kitchen, she picked up an iron pot that was sitting on the back of the stove and said, “You have a lot, Shimerdas have none.” I thought it was kind of weak-minded of my grandmother to give the pot to her.

[pg 102]

After dinner, when she was helping to wash the dishes, she said, tossing her head: “You got many things for cook. If I got all things like you, I make much better.”

After dinner, while she was helping wash the dishes, she said, tossing her head: “You have so many things for cooking. If I had all the things you have, I would cook so much better.”

She was a conceited, boastful old thing, and even misfortune could not humble her. I was so annoyed that I felt coldly even toward Ántonia and listened unsympathetically when she told me her father was not well.

She was a vain, bragging old woman, and even bad luck couldn't bring her down. I was so irritated that I felt distant even toward Ántonia and listened without sympathy when she told me her father was unwell.

“My papa sad for the old country. He not look good. He never make music any more. At home he play violin all the time; for weddings and for dance. Here never. When I beg him for play, he shake his head no. Some days he take his violin out of his box and make with his fingers on the strings, like this, but never he make the music. He don’t like this kawn-tree.”

“My dad is sad about the old country. He doesn’t look good. He never plays music anymore. At home, he would play the violin all the time—for weddings and dances. But here, he doesn’t. When I ask him to play, he shakes his head no. Some days he takes his violin out of its case and moves his fingers on the strings, like this, but he never actually plays music. He doesn’t like this country.”

“People who don’t like this country ought to stay at home,” I said severely. “We don’t make them come here.”

“People who don’t like this country should just stay at home,” I said firmly. “We don’t force them to come here.”

“He not want to come, nev-er!” she burst out. “My mamenka make him come. All the time she say: ‘America big country; much money, much land for my boys, much husband for my girls.’ My papa, he cry for leave his old friends what make music with him. He[pg 103] love very much the man what play the long horn like this”—she indicated a slide trombone. “They go to school together and are friends from boys. But my mama, she want Ambrosch for be rich, with many cattle.”

“He doesn’t want to come, not ever!” she exclaimed. “My mamenka makes him come. She always says: ‘America is a big country; there’s a lot of money, a lot of land for my boys, and many husbands for my girls.’ My papa cries about leaving his old friends who play music with him. He[pg 103] loves the man who plays the slide trombone like this”—she pointed to a slide trombone. “They went to school together and have been friends since they were kids. But my mama wants Ambrosch to be rich, with many cattle.”

“Your mama,” I said angrily, “wants other people’s things.”

“Your mom,” I said angrily, “wants other people's stuff.”

“Your grandfather is rich,” she retorted fiercely. “Why he not help my papa? Ambrosch be rich, too, after while, and he pay back. He is very smart boy. For Ambrosch my mama come here.”

“Your grandfather is wealthy,” she shot back fiercely. “Why doesn't he help my dad? Ambrosch will be rich too eventually, and he’ll pay him back. He’s a very smart kid. My mom came here for Ambrosch.”

Ambrosch was considered the important person in the family. Mrs. Shimerda and Ántonia always deferred to him, though he was often surly with them and contemptuous toward his father. Ambrosch and his mother had everything their own way. Though Ántonia loved her father more than she did any one else, she stood in awe of her elder brother.

Ambrosch was seen as the key figure in the family. Mrs. Shimerda and Ántonia always deferred to him, even though he was often grumpy with them and disrespectful toward his father. Ambrosch and his mother got everything they wanted. Although Ántonia loved her father more than anyone else, she was intimidated by her older brother.

After I watched Ántonia and her mother go over the hill on their miserable horse, carrying our iron pot with them, I turned to grandmother, who had taken up her darning, and said I hoped that snooping old woman would n’t come to see us any more.

After I saw Ántonia and her mom head over the hill on their sad horse, carrying our iron pot with them, I turned to my grandmother, who was busy darning, and said I hoped that nosy old woman wouldn’t visit us anymore.

Grandmother chuckled and drove her bright[pg 104] needle across a hole in Otto’s sock. “She’s not old, Jim, though I expect she seems old to you. No, I would n’t mourn if she never came again. But, you see, a body never knows what traits poverty might bring out in ’em. It makes a woman grasping to see her children want for things. Now read me a chapter in ‘The Prince of the House of David.’ Let’s forget the Bohemians.”

Grandmother laughed and threaded her bright[pg 104] needle through a hole in Otto’s sock. “She doesn’t seem old to you, Jim, but that’s not how I see it. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if she never came back. But, you know, you never really understand what poverty can reveal in people. It makes a woman feel desperate when she sees her kids lacking what they need. Now, read me a chapter from ‘The Prince of the House of David.’ Let’s forget about the Bohemians.”

We had three weeks of this mild, open weather. The cattle in the corral ate corn almost as fast as the men could shell it for them, and we hoped they would be ready for an early market. One morning the two big bulls, Gladstone and Brigham Young, thought spring had come, and they began to tease and butt at each other across the barbed wire that separated them. Soon they got angry. They bellowed and pawed up the soft earth with their hoofs, rolling their eyes and tossing their heads. Each withdrew to a far corner of his own corral, and then they made for each other at a gallop. Thud, thud, we could hear the impact of their great heads, and their bellowing shook the pans on the kitchen shelves. Had they not been dehorned, they would have torn each other to pieces. Pretty[pg 105] soon the fat steers took it up and began butting and horning each other. Clearly, the affair had to be stopped. We all stood by and watched admiringly while Fuchs rode into the corral with a pitchfork and prodded the bulls again and again, finally driving them apart.

We had three weeks of this mild, open weather. The cattle in the corral devoured corn almost as quickly as the men could shell it for them, and we hoped they would be ready for an early market. One morning, the two big bulls, Gladstone and Brigham Young, thought spring had arrived, and they started to tease and butt at each other across the barbed wire that separated them. Soon, they got angry. They bellowed and pawed up the soft earth with their hooves, rolling their eyes and tossing their heads. Each retreated to a distant corner of his own corral, then charged at each other at a gallop. Thud, thud, we could hear the impact of their massive heads, and their bellowing shook the pans on the kitchen shelves. If they hadn't been dehorned, they would have seriously injured each other. Pretty[pg 105] soon, the fat steers joined in and began butting and horning each other. Clearly, this needed to be stopped. We all stood by and watched in admiration while Fuchs rode into the corral with a pitchfork and prodded the bulls repeatedly, finally driving them apart.

The big storm of the winter began on my eleventh birthday, the 20th of January. When I went down to breakfast that morning, Jake and Otto came in white as snow-men, beating their hands and stamping their feet. They began to laugh boisterously when they saw me, calling:—

The big storm of winter started on my eleventh birthday, January 20th. When I went down for breakfast that morning, Jake and Otto came in looking like snowmen, rubbing their hands and stomping their feet. They burst out laughing when they saw me, calling:—

“You’ve got a birthday present this time, Jim, and no mistake. They was a full-grown blizzard ordered for you.”

“You have a birthday present this time, Jim, no doubt about it. There was a full-grown blizzard ordered for you.”

All day the storm went on. The snow did not fall this time, it simply spilled out of heaven, like thousands of feather-beds being emptied. That afternoon the kitchen was a carpenter-shop; the men brought in their tools and made two great wooden shovels with long handles. Neither grandmother nor I could go out in the storm, so Jake fed the chickens and brought in a pitiful contribution of eggs.

All day the storm continued. This time, the snow didn't just fall; it poured down from the sky, like thousands of feather beds being emptied. That afternoon, the kitchen turned into a carpenter's shop; the men came in with their tools and made two large wooden shovels with long handles. Neither my grandmother nor I could go outside in the storm, so Jake fed the chickens and brought in a meager collection of eggs.

Next day our men had to shovel until noon to reach the barn—and the snow was still[pg 106] falling! There had not been such a storm in the ten years my grandfather had lived in Nebraska. He said at dinner that we would not try to reach the cattle—they were fat enough to go without their corn for a day or two; but to-morrow we must feed them and thaw out their water-tap so that they could drink. We could not so much as see the corrals, but we knew the steers were over there, huddled together under the north bank. Our ferocious bulls, subdued enough by this time, were probably warming each other’s backs. “This’ll take the bile out of ’em!” Fuchs remarked gleefully.

The next day, our guys had to shovel until noon to get to the barn—and the snow was still falling! There hadn’t been a storm like this in the ten years my grandfather had lived in Nebraska. He said at dinner that we wouldn’t try to get to the cattle—they were fat enough to go without their corn for a day or two; but tomorrow, we needed to feed them and thaw out their water tap so they could drink. We couldn’t even see the corrals, but we knew the steers were over there, huddled together under the north bank. Our fierce bulls, now subdued, were probably warming each other’s backs. “This will take the edge off them!” Fuchs said with a grin.

At noon that day the hens had not been heard from. After dinner Jake and Otto, their damp clothes now dried on them, stretched their stiff arms and plunged again into the drifts. They made a tunnel under the snow to the henhouse, with walls so solid that grandmother and I could walk back and forth in it. We found the chickens asleep; perhaps they thought night had come to stay. One old rooster was stirring about, pecking at the solid lump of ice in their water-tin. When we flashed the lantern in their eyes, the hens set up a great cackling and flew about clumsily,[pg 107] scattering down-feathers. The mottled, pin-headed guinea-hens, always resentful of captivity, ran screeching out into the tunnel and tried to poke their ugly, painted faces through the snow walls. By five o’clock the chores were done—just when it was time to begin them all over again! That was a strange, unnatural sort of day.

At noon that day, we hadn't heard anything from the hens. After dinner, Jake and Otto, their wet clothes now dry, stretched their stiff arms and dove back into the snow drifts. They made a tunnel under the snow to the henhouse, with walls so solid that my grandmother and I could walk back and forth in it. We found the chickens asleep; maybe they thought night had come to stay. One old rooster was moving around, pecking at the solid lump of ice in their water container. When we shone the lantern in their eyes, the hens started clucking loudly and flew around awkwardly, scattering down feathers. The mottled, small-headed guinea hens, always unhappy about being trapped, screeched as they ran into the tunnel and tried to stick their ugly, colorful faces through the snow walls. By five o'clock, the chores were done—just in time to start them all over again! It was a strange, unnatural kind of day.[pg 107]


[pg 108]

XIV

On the morning of the 22d I wakened with a start. Before I opened my eyes, I seemed to know that something had happened. I heard excited voices in the kitchen—grandmother’s was so shrill that I knew she must be almost beside herself. I looked forward to any new crisis with delight. What could it be, I wondered, as I hurried into my clothes. Perhaps the barn had burned; perhaps the cattle had frozen to death; perhaps a neighbor was lost in the storm.

On the morning of the 22nd, I woke up suddenly. Before I even opened my eyes, I had a feeling that something had happened. I heard excited voices in the kitchen—grandmother's voice was so high-pitched that I knew she must be almost frantic. I looked forward to whatever new crisis was coming with excitement. What could it be, I wondered, as I rushed to get dressed. Maybe the barn had burned down; maybe the cattle had frozen to death; maybe a neighbor was lost in the storm.

Down in the kitchen grandfather was standing before the stove with his hands behind him. Jake and Otto had taken off their boots and were rubbing their woolen socks. Their clothes and boots were steaming, and they both looked exhausted. On the bench behind the stove lay a man, covered up with a blanket. Grandmother motioned me to the dining-room. I obeyed reluctantly. I watched her as she came and went, carrying dishes. Her lips were tightly compressed and she kept whispering to herself: “Oh, dear Saviour!” “Lord, Thou knowest!”

Down in the kitchen, Grandpa stood in front of the stove with his hands behind him. Jake and Otto had taken off their boots and were rubbing their woolen socks. Their clothes and boots were steaming, and they both looked worn out. On the bench behind the stove lay a man, covered with a blanket. Grandma waved for me to follow her to the dining room. I did so reluctantly. I watched her as she moved back and forth, carrying dishes. Her lips were pressed together, and she kept whispering to herself: “Oh, dear Savior!” “Lord, You know!”

[pg 109]

Presently grandfather came in and spoke to me: “Jimmy, we will not have prayers this morning, because we have a great deal to do. Old Mr. Shimerda is dead, and his family are in great distress. Ambrosch came over here in the middle of the night, and Jake and Otto went back with him. The boys have had a hard night, and you must not bother them with questions. That is Ambrosch, asleep on the bench. Come in to breakfast, boys.”

Right now, Grandpa came in and said to me, “Jimmy, we won’t have prayers this morning because we have a lot to do. Old Mr. Shimerda has died, and his family is really upset. Ambrosch came over here in the middle of the night, and Jake and Otto went back with him. The boys have had a tough night, so you shouldn’t bother them with questions. That’s Ambrosch, asleep on the bench. Come in for breakfast, boys.”

After Jake and Otto had swallowed their first cup of coffee, they began to talk excitedly, disregarding grandmother’s warning glances. I held my tongue, but I listened with all my ears.

After Jake and Otto finished their first cup of coffee, they started chatting excitedly, ignoring grandmother’s warning looks. I stayed quiet, but I listened intently.

“No, sir,” Fuchs said in answer to a question from grandfather, “nobody heard the gun go off. Ambrosch was out with the ox team, trying to break a road, and the women folks was shut up tight in their cave. When Ambrosch come in it was dark and he did n’t see nothing, but the oxen acted kind of queer. One of ’em ripped around and got away from him—bolted clean out of the stable. His hands is blistered where the rope run through. He got a lantern and went back and found the old man, just as we seen him.”

“No, sir,” Fuchs answered when grandfather asked, “nobody heard the gun go off. Ambrosch was out with the ox team, trying to clear a path, and the women were locked up tight in their cave. When Ambrosch came back, it was dark and he didn’t see anything, but the oxen were acting kind of strange. One of them broke loose and ran off—bolted right out of the stable. His hands are blistered where the rope slid through. He got a lantern and went back and found the old man, just like we saw him.”

[pg 110]

“Poor soul, poor soul!” grandmother groaned. “I’d like to think he never done it. He was always considerate and un-wishful to give trouble. How could he forget himself and bring this on us!”

“Poor thing, poor thing!” grandmother moaned. “I want to believe he never did it. He was always thoughtful and never wanted to cause trouble. How could he lose control and bring this upon us!”

“I don’t think he was out of his head for a minute, Mrs. Burden,” Fuchs declared. “He done everything natural. You know he was always sort of fixy, and fixy he was to the last. He shaved after dinner, and washed hisself all over after the girls was done the dishes. Ántonia heated the water for him. Then he put on a clean shirt and clean socks, and after he was dressed he kissed her and the little one and took his gun and said he was going out to hunt rabbits. He must have gone right down to the barn and done it then. He layed down on that bunk-bed, close to the ox stalls, where he always slept. When we found him, everything was decent except,”—Fuchs wrinkled his brow and hesitated,—“except what he could n’t nowise foresee. His coat was hung on a peg, and his boots was under the bed. He’d took off that silk neckcloth he always wore, and folded it smooth and stuck his pin through it. He turned back his shirt at the neck and rolled up his sleeves.”

“I don’t think he was out of his mind for a second, Ms. Burden,” Fuchs said. “He did everything normally. You know he always had a bit of a quirky side, and he was quirky until the end. He shaved after dinner and washed himself all over after the girls finished with the dishes. Ántonia heated the water for him. Then he put on a clean shirt and clean socks, and after he got dressed, he kissed her and the little one, took his gun, and said he was going out to hunt rabbits. He must have gone straight to the barn and done it then. He lay down on that bunk bed, close to the ox stalls, where he always slept. When we found him, everything was in order except,”—Fuchs frowned and paused,—“except for what he couldn’t possibly foresee. His coat was hung on a peg, and his boots were under the bed. He’d taken off that silk necktie he always wore, folded it neatly, and stuck his pin through it. He turned back his shirt at the neck and rolled up his sleeves.”

[pg 111]

“I don’t see how he could do it!” grandmother kept saying.

“I don’t see how he could do it!” grandmother kept saying.

Otto misunderstood her. “Why, mam, it was simple enough; he pulled the trigger with his big toe. He layed over on his side and put the end of the barrel in his mouth, then he drew up one foot and felt for the trigger. He found it all right!”

Otto misunderstood her. “Well, ma'am, it was pretty straightforward; he pulled the trigger with his big toe. He lay on his side and put the end of the barrel in his mouth, then lifted one foot and reached for the trigger. He found it easily!”

“Maybe he did,” said Jake grimly. “There’s something mighty queer about it.”

“Maybe he did,” Jake said grimly. “There’s something really strange about it.”

“Now what do you mean, Jake?” grandmother asked sharply.

“Now what do you mean, Jake?” Grandma asked sharply.

“Well, mam, I found Krajiek’s axe under the manger, and I picks it up and carries it over to the corpse, and I take my oath it just fit the gash in the front of the old man’s face. That there Krajiek had been sneakin’ round, pale and quiet, and when he seen me examinin’ the axe, he begun whimperin’, ‘My God, man, don’t do that!’ ‘I reckon I’m a-goin’ to look into this,’ says I. Then he begun to squeal like a rat and run about wringin’ his hands. ‘They’ll hang me!’ says he. ‘My God, they’ll hang me sure!’”

“Okay, ma’am, I found Krajiek’s axe under the hay, picked it up, and took it over to the body. I swear it fit perfectly into the cut on the old man’s face. That Krajiek had been sneaking around, pale and quiet, and when he saw me checking out the axe, he started whimpering, ‘Oh my God, man, don’t do that!’ ‘I think I need to look into this,’ I said. Then he started to panic like a rat, running around and wringing his hands. ‘They’re going to hang me!’ he cried. ‘Oh my God, they’re definitely going to hang me!’”

Fuchs spoke up impatiently. “Krajiek’s gone silly, Jake, and so have you. The old man would n’t have made all them[pg 112] preparations for Krajiek to murder him, would he? It don’t hang together. The gun was right beside him when Ambrosch found him.”

Fuchs spoke up impatiently. “Krajiek’s gone crazy, Jake, and so have you. The old man wouldn’t have made all those preparations for Krajiek to kill him, would he? It doesn’t add up. The gun was right beside him when Ambrosch found him.”

“Krajiek could ’a’ put it there, could n’t he?” Jake demanded.

“Krajiek could have put it there, could he?” Jake demanded.

Grandmother broke in excitedly: “See here, Jake Marpole, don’t you go trying to add murder to suicide. We’re deep enough in trouble. Otto reads you too many of them detective stories.”

“Listen here, Jake Marpole, don’t start trying to turn suicide into murder. We’re already in enough trouble as it is. Otto has you reading way too many of those detective stories.”

“It will be easy to decide all that, Emmaline,” said grandfather quietly. “If he shot himself in the way they think, the gash will be torn from the inside outward.”

“It will be easy to figure all that out, Emmaline,” said grandfather quietly. “If he shot himself the way they think, the wound will be ripped from the inside out.”

“Just so it is, Mr. Burden,” Otto affirmed. “I seen bunches of hair and stuff sticking to the poles and straw along the roof. They was blown up there by gunshot, no question.”

“That's right, Mr. Burden,” Otto confirmed. “I saw a bunch of hair and other things stuck to the poles and straw on the roof. They were blown up there by gunfire, no doubt about it.”

Grandmother told grandfather she meant to go over to the Shimerdas with him.

Grandma told Grandpa she planned to go over to the Shimerdas with him.

“There is nothing you can do,” he said doubtfully. “The body can’t be touched until we get the coroner here from Black Hawk, and that will be a matter of several days, this weather.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” he said uncertainly. “We can’t touch the body until the coroner gets here from Black Hawk, and with this weather, that’ll take several days.”

“Well, I can take them some victuals, anyway, and say a word of comfort to them poor[pg 113] little girls. The oldest one was his darling, and was like a right hand to him. He might have thought of her. He’s left her alone in a hard world.” She glanced distrustfully at Ambrosch, who was now eating his breakfast at the kitchen table.

“Well, I can bring them some food, at least, and say a few comforting words to those poor little girls. The oldest one was his favorite and really helped him out. He should have thought of her. He’s left her all alone in a tough world.” She looked at Ambrosch with suspicion as he sat eating his breakfast at the kitchen table.

Fuchs, although he had been up in the cold nearly all night, was going to make the long ride to Black Hawk to fetch the priest and the coroner. On the gray gelding, our best horse, he would try to pick his way across the country with no roads to guide him.

Fuchs, even though he had been out in the cold nearly all night, was set to make the long ride to Black Hawk to get the priest and the coroner. On the gray gelding, our best horse, he would attempt to navigate across the country without any roads to help him.

“Don’t you worry about me, Mrs. Burden,” he said cheerfully, as he put on a second pair of socks. “I’ve got a good nose for directions, and I never did need much sleep. It’s the gray I’m worried about. I’ll save him what I can, but it’ll strain him, as sure as I’m telling you!”

“Don’t worry about me, Mrs. Burden,” he said cheerfully, as he put on another pair of socks. “I have a good sense of direction, and I don’t need much sleep. It’s the gray I’m concerned about. I’ll save him what I can, but it’s going to push him to his limits, just as I’m telling you!”

“This is no time to be over-considerate of animals, Otto; do the best you can for yourself. Stop at the Widow Steavens’s for dinner. She’s a good woman, and she’ll do well by you.”

“This isn’t the time to be overly considerate of animals, Otto; take care of yourself first. Stop by Widow Steavens’s for dinner. She’s a kind woman, and she’ll treat you well.”

After Fuchs rode away, I was left with Ambrosch. I saw a side of him I had not seen before. He was deeply, even slavishly, devout.[pg 114] He did not say a word all morning, but sat with his rosary in his hands, praying, now silently, now aloud. He never looked away from his beads, nor lifted his hands except to cross himself. Several times the poor boy fell asleep where he sat, wakened with a start, and began to pray again.

After Fuchs rode off, I was left with Ambrosch. I saw a side of him I hadn't noticed before. He was intensely, almost obsessively, devoted.[pg 114] He didn't say a word all morning, just sat with his rosary in his hands, praying, sometimes silently and sometimes out loud. He never took his eyes off his beads, nor lifted his hands except to cross himself. Several times, the poor guy dozed off where he sat, jolting awake and starting to pray again.

No wagon could be got to the Shimerdas’ until a road was broken, and that would be a day’s job. Grandfather came from the barn on one of our big black horses, and Jake lifted grandmother up behind him. She wore her black hood and was bundled up in shawls. Grandfather tucked his bushy white beard inside his overcoat. They looked very Biblical as they set off, I thought. Jake and Ambrosch followed them, riding the other black and my pony, carrying bundles of clothes that we had got together for Mrs. Shimerda. I watched them go past the pond and over the hill by the drifted cornfield. Then, for the first time, I realized that I was alone in the house.

No wagon could get to the Shimerdas’ until a road was cleared, and that would take a whole day. Grandfather came from the barn on one of our big black horses, and Jake helped grandmother climb up behind him. She was wearing her black hood and was wrapped up in shawls. Grandfather tucked his bushy white beard inside his overcoat. They looked very Biblical as they set off, I thought. Jake and Ambrosch followed them, riding the other black horse and my pony, carrying bundles of clothes that we had gathered for Mrs. Shimerda. I watched them go past the pond and over the hill by the snowdrifted cornfield. Then, for the first time, I realized that I was alone in the house.

I felt a considerable extension of power and authority, and was anxious to acquit myself creditably. I carried in cobs and wood from the long cellar, and filled both the stoves. I remembered that in the hurry and excitement[pg 115] of the morning nobody had thought of the chickens, and the eggs had not been gathered. Going out through the tunnel, I gave the hens their corn, emptied the ice from their drinking-pan, and filled it with water. After the cat had had his milk, I could think of nothing else to do, and I sat down to get warm. The quiet was delightful, and the ticking clock was the most pleasant of companions. I got “Robinson Crusoe” and tried to read, but his life on the island seemed dull compared with ours. Presently, as I looked with satisfaction about our comfortable sitting-room, it flashed upon me that if Mr. Shimerda’s soul were lingering about in this world at all, it would be here, in our house, which had been more to his liking than any other in the neighborhood. I remembered his contented face when he was with us on Christmas Day. If he could have lived with us, this terrible thing would never have happened.

I felt a significant boost in power and responsibility, and I was eager to do a good job. I brought in cobs and wood from the long cellar and filled both stoves. I realized that in the rush and excitement[pg 115] of the morning, no one had thought about the chickens, and the eggs hadn’t been collected. Going out through the tunnel, I fed the hens their corn, emptied the ice from their water dish, and filled it with fresh water. After the cat had his milk, I couldn’t think of anything else to do, so I sat down to warm up. The quiet was wonderful, and the ticking clock was the best company. I picked up “Robinson Crusoe” and tried to read, but his life on the island felt boring compared to ours. Soon, as I looked around at our cozy living room, it struck me that if Mr. Shimerda’s spirit was lingering in this world at all, it would be here, in our home, which he had liked more than any other in the area. I remembered his happy face when he was with us on Christmas Day. If he could have lived with us, this awful thing would never have happened.

I knew it was homesickness that had killed Mr. Shimerda, and I wondered whether his released spirit would not eventually find its way back to his own country. I thought of how far it was to Chicago, and then to Virginia, to Baltimore,—and then the great[pg 116] wintry ocean. No, he would not at once set out upon that long journey. Surely, his exhausted spirit, so tired of cold and crowding and the struggle with the ever-falling snow, was resting now in this quiet house.

I realized it was homesickness that had caused Mr. Shimerda's death, and I wondered if his freed spirit would eventually make its way back to his homeland. I thought about how far it was to Chicago, then to Virginia, to Baltimore—and then across the vast wintry ocean. No, he wouldn’t immediately begin that long journey. Surely, his weary spirit, worn out from the cold, the crowds, and the battle with the never-ending snow, was now resting in this peaceful house.

I was not frightened, but I made no noise. I did not wish to disturb him. I went softly down to the kitchen which, tucked away so snugly underground, always seemed to me the heart and center of the house. There, on the bench behind the stove, I thought and thought about Mr. Shimerda. Outside I could hear the wind singing over hundreds of miles of snow. It was as if I had let the old man in out of the tormenting winter, and were sitting there with him. I went over all that Ántonia had ever told me about his life before he came to this country; how he used to play the fiddle at weddings and dances. I thought about the friends he had mourned to leave, the trombone-player, the great forest full of game,—belonging, as Ántonia said, to the “nobles,”—from which she and her mother used to steal wood on moonlight nights. There was a white hart that lived in that forest, and if any one killed it, he would be hanged, she said. Such vivid pictures came to me that they might[pg 117] have been Mr. Shimerda’s memories, not yet faded out from the air in which they had haunted him.

I wasn't scared, but I stayed silent. I didn't want to disturb him. I quietly went down to the kitchen, which always felt like the heart and center of the house, cozy and tucked away underground. There, on the bench behind the stove, I thought and thought about Mr. Shimerda. Outside, I could hear the wind singing over hundreds of miles of snow. It was as if I had let the old man in from the harsh winter, and I was sitting there with him. I recalled everything Ántonia had told me about his life before he came to this country; how he used to play the fiddle at weddings and dances. I thought about the friends he had mourned leaving behind, the trombone player, and the vast forest full of game—belonging, as Ántonia said, to the “nobles”—from which she and her mother used to sneak wood on moonlit nights. There was a white deer that lived in that forest, and if anyone killed it, they would be hanged, she said. Such vivid images came to me that they could[pg 117] have been Mr. Shimerda’s memories, not yet faded from the air that had haunted him.

It had begun to grow dark when my household returned, and grandmother was so tired that she went at once to bed. Jake and I got supper, and while we were washing the dishes he told me in loud whispers about the state of things over at the Shimerdas’. Nobody could touch the body until the coroner came. If any one did, something terrible would happen, apparently. The dead man was frozen through, “just as stiff as a dressed turkey you hang out to freeze,” Jake said. The horses and oxen would not go into the barn until he was frozen so hard that there was no longer any smell of blood. They were stabled there now, with the dead man, because there was no other place to keep them. A lighted lantern was kept hanging over Mr. Shimerda’s head. Ántonia and Ambrosch and the mother took turns going down to pray beside him. The crazy boy went with them, because he did not feel the cold. I believed he felt cold as much as any one else, but he liked to be thought insensible to it. He was always coveting distinction, poor Marek!

It started to get dark when my family came home, and Grandma was so exhausted that she went straight to bed. Jake and I made dinner, and while we were washing the dishes, he quietly told me about what was going on over at the Shimerdas’. No one could touch the body until the coroner arrived. If anyone did, something awful would happen, apparently. The dead man was frozen, “just as stiff as a dressed turkey you hang out to freeze,” Jake said. The horses and oxen wouldn’t go into the barn until he was frozen so solid that there was no longer any smell of blood. They were kept there now, with the dead man, because there was nowhere else to put them. A lit lantern hung over Mr. Shimerda’s head. Ántonia, Ambrosch, and their mother took turns going down to pray beside him. The crazy boy went with them because he didn’t feel the cold. I believed he felt the cold just like everyone else, but he liked to appear immune to it. Poor Marek was always seeking recognition.

[pg 118]

Ambrosch, Jake said, showed more human feeling than he would have supposed him capable of; but he was chiefly concerned about getting a priest, and about his father’s soul, which he believed was in a place of torment and would remain there until his family and the priest had prayed a great deal for him. “As I understand it,” Jake concluded, “it will be a matter of years to pray his soul out of Purgatory, and right now he’s in torment.”

Ambrosch, Jake said, showed more human emotion than he would have expected from him; but he was mainly focused on getting a priest and on his father's soul, which he believed was stuck in a place of suffering and would stay there until his family and the priest prayed a lot for him. “From what I get,” Jake wrapped up, “it's going to take years to pray his soul out of Purgatory, and right now he’s in pain.”

“I don’t believe it,” I said stoutly. “I almost know it is n’t true.” I did not, of course, say that I believed he had been in that very kitchen all afternoon, on his way back to his own country. Nevertheless, after I went to bed, this idea of punishment and Purgatory came back on me crushingly. I remembered the account of Dives in torment, and shuddered. But Mr. Shimerda had not been rich and selfish; he had only been so unhappy that he could not live any longer.

“I can’t believe it,” I said firmly. “I almost know it’s not true.” I didn’t, of course, mention that I believed he had been in that very kitchen all afternoon, on his way back to his own country. Still, after I went to bed, the idea of punishment and Purgatory weighed heavily on me. I remembered the story of Dives in torment and shuddered. But Mr. Shimerda hadn’t been rich and selfish; he had just been so unhappy that he couldn’t bear to live any longer.


[pg 119]

XV

Otto Fuchs got back from Black Hawk at noon the next day. He reported that the coroner would reach the Shimerdas’ sometime that afternoon, but the missionary priest was at the other end of his parish, a hundred miles away, and the trains were not running. Fuchs had got a few hours’ sleep at the livery barn in town, but he was afraid the gray gelding had strained himself. Indeed, he was never the same horse afterward. That long trip through the deep snow had taken all the endurance out of him.

Otto Fuchs returned from Black Hawk around noon the next day. He said that the coroner would arrive at the Shimerdas' place sometime that afternoon, but the missionary priest was on the other side of his parish, a hundred miles away, and the trains weren't running. Fuchs managed to get a few hours of sleep at the livery barn in town, but he was worried that the gray gelding had overexerted himself. In fact, he was never the same horse afterward. That long journey through the deep snow had completely drained his endurance.

Fuchs brought home with him a stranger, a young Bohemian who had taken a homestead near Black Hawk, and who came on his only horse to help his fellow-countrymen in their trouble. That was the first time I ever saw Anton Jelinek. He was a strapping young fellow in the early twenties then, handsome, warm-hearted, and full of life, and he came to us like a miracle in the midst of that grim business. I remember exactly how he strode into our kitchen in his felt boots and long[pg 120] wolfskin coat, his eyes and cheeks bright with the cold. At sight of grandmother, he snatched off his fur cap, greeting her in a deep, rolling voice which seemed older than he.

Fuchs brought home a stranger, a young Bohemian who had settled near Black Hawk and rode his only horse to help his fellow countrymen in their time of trouble. That was the first time I ever saw Anton Jelinek. He was a strong young guy in his early twenties, good-looking, warm-hearted, and full of life, coming to us like a miracle in the midst of that grim situation. I remember exactly how he walked into our kitchen in his felt boots and long wolfskin coat, his eyes and cheeks bright from the cold. When he saw my grandmother, he took off his fur cap and greeted her with a deep, booming voice that sounded older than he was.

“I want to thank you very much, Mrs. Burden, for that you are so kind to poor strangers from my kawn-tree.”

“I really want to thank you, Ms. Burden, for being so kind to us poor strangers from my country.”

He did not hesitate like a farmer boy, but looked one eagerly in the eye when he spoke. Everything about him was warm and spontaneous. He said he would have come to see the Shimerdas before, but he had hired out to husk corn all the fall, and since winter began he had been going to the school by the mill, to learn English, along with the little children. He told me he had a nice “lady-teacher” and that he liked to go to school.

He didn't hesitate like a country boy, but looked you straight in the eye when he talked. Everything about him was warm and genuine. He said he would have visited the Shimerdas earlier, but he had taken a job husking corn all fall, and since winter started, he had been attending the school by the mill to learn English, along with the little kids. He told me he had a great “lady-teacher” and that he enjoyed going to school.

At dinner grandfather talked to Jelinek more than he usually did to strangers.

At dinner, Grandfather talked to Jelinek more than he usually did with strangers.

“Will they be much disappointed because we cannot get a priest?” he asked.

“Will they be really disappointed that we can't get a priest?” he asked.

Jelinek looked serious. “Yes, sir, that is very bad for them. Their father has done a great sin,” he looked straight at grandfather. “Our Lord has said that.”

Jelinek looked serious. “Yes, sir, that's really bad for them. Their father has committed a great sin,” he said, looking directly at grandfather. “Our Lord has said that.”

Grandfather seemed to like his frankness. “We believe that, too, Jelinek. But we believe[pg 121] that Mr. Shimerda’s soul will come to its Creator as well off without a priest. We believe that Christ is our only intercessor.”

Grandfather seemed to appreciate his honesty. “We believe that too, Jelinek. But we believe[pg 121] that Mr. Shimerda’s soul will meet its Creator just fine without a priest. We believe that Christ is our only intermediary.”

The young man shook his head. “I know how you think. My teacher at the school has explain. But I have seen too much. I believe in prayer for the dead. I have seen too much.”

The young man shook his head. “I know how you think. My teacher at school explained it. But I’ve seen too much. I believe in prayer for the dead. I’ve seen too much.”

We asked him what he meant.

We asked him what he meant.

He glanced around the table. “You want I shall tell you? When I was a little boy like this one, I begin to help the priest at the altar. I make my first communion very young; what the Church teach seem plain to me. By ’n’ by war-times come, when the Austrians fight us. We have very many soldiers in camp near my village, and the cholera break out in that camp, and the men die like flies. All day long our priest go about there to give the Sacrament to dying men, and I go with him to carry the vessels with the Holy Sacrament. Everybody that go near that camp catch the sickness but me and the priest. But we have no sickness, we have no fear, because we carry that blood and that body of Christ, and it preserve us.” He paused, looking at grandfather. “That I know, Mr. Burden, for it happened to myself. All the soldiers know,[pg 122] too. When we walk along the road, the old priest and me, we meet all the time soldiers marching and officers on horse. All those officers, when they see what I carry under the cloth, pull up their horses and kneel down on the ground in the road until we pass. So I feel very bad for my kawntree-man to die without the Sacrament, and to die in a bad way for his soul, and I feel sad for his family.”

He looked around the table. “You want me to tell you? When I was a little boy like this one, I started helping the priest at the altar. I made my first communion very young; what the Church taught seemed clear to me. Eventually, war broke out when the Austrians fought us. We had a lot of soldiers in camp near my village, and cholera broke out in that camp, and the men died like flies. All day long our priest would go around there to give the Sacrament to dying men, and I would go with him to carry the vessels with the Holy Sacrament. Everyone who went near that camp caught the illness except for me and the priest. But we had no sickness, and we had no fear because we carried the blood and body of Christ, and it protected us.” He paused, looking at grandfather. “I know that, Mr. Burden, because it happened to me. All the soldiers know too. When we walked along the road, the old priest and I would constantly encounter soldiers marching and officers on horseback. All those officers, when they saw what I was carrying under the cloth, would pull up their horses and kneel down on the ground in the road until we passed. So I felt very bad for my countryman dying without the Sacrament, dying in a bad way for his soul, and I felt sad for his family.”

We had listened attentively. It was impossible not to admire his frank, manly faith.

We listened carefully. It was impossible not to admire his honest, strong faith.

“I am always glad to meet a young man who thinks seriously about these things,” said grandfather, “and I would never be the one to say you were not in God’s care when you were among the soldiers.”

“I’m always happy to meet a young man who thinks seriously about these things,” said grandfather, “and I would never say you weren’t in God’s care when you were with the soldiers.”

After dinner it was decided that young Jelinek should hook our two strong black farmhorses to the scraper and break a road through to the Shimerdas’, so that a wagon could go when it was necessary. Fuchs, who was the only cabinet-maker in the neighborhood, was set to work on a coffin.

After dinner, it was decided that young Jelinek should harness our two strong black farm horses to the scraper and clear a path to the Shimerdas’ so that a wagon could get through when needed. Fuchs, the only cabinetmaker in the area, was assigned to work on a coffin.

Jelinek put on his long wolfskin coat, and when we admired it, he told us that he had shot and skinned the coyotes, and the young man who “batched” with him, Jan Bouska,[pg 123] who had been a fur-worker in Vienna, made the coat. From the windmill I watched Jelinek come out of the barn with the blacks, and work his way up the hillside toward the cornfield. Sometimes he was completely hidden by the clouds of snow that rose about him; then he and the horses would emerge black and shining.

Jelinek put on his long wolfskin coat, and when we admired it, he told us that he had shot and skinned the coyotes, and the young man who lived with him, Jan Bouska,[pg 123] who had been a fur worker in Vienna, made the coat. From the windmill, I watched Jelinek come out of the barn with the horses and make his way up the hillside toward the cornfield. Sometimes he was completely hidden by the clouds of snow swirling around him; then he and the horses would emerge, black and shining.

Our heavy carpenter’s bench had to be brought from the barn and carried down into the kitchen. Fuchs selected boards from a pile of planks grandfather had hauled out from town in the fall to make a new floor for the oats bin. When at last the lumber and tools were assembled, and the doors were closed again and the cold drafts shut out, grandfather rode away to meet the coroner at the Shimerdas’, and Fuchs took off his coat and settled down to work. I sat on his work-table and watched him. He did not touch his tools at first, but figured for a long while on a piece of paper, and measured the planks and made marks on them. While he was thus engaged, he whistled softly to himself, or teasingly pulled at his half-ear. Grandmother moved about quietly, so as not to disturb him. At last he folded his ruler and turned a cheerful face to us.

Our heavy carpenter’s bench had to be brought from the barn and carried down into the kitchen. Fuchs picked boards from a pile of planks that grandfather had brought in from town in the fall to make a new floor for the oats bin. When the lumber and tools were finally gathered and the doors were closed to keep out the cold drafts, grandfather left to meet the coroner at the Shimerdas’, and Fuchs took off his coat and got to work. I sat on his work table and watched him. He didn’t touch his tools right away, but spent a long time figuring things out on a piece of paper, measuring the planks and marking them. While he was busy, he whistled softly to himself or playfully tugged at his half-ear. Grandmother moved around quietly so she wouldn’t disturb him. Finally, he folded his ruler and turned a cheerful face to us.

[pg 124]

“The hardest part of my job’s done,” he announced. “It’s the head end of it that comes hard with me, especially when I’m out of practice. The last time I made one of these, Mrs. Burden,” he continued, as he sorted and tried his chisels, “was for a fellow in the Black Tiger mine, up above Silverton, Colorado. The mouth of that mine goes right into the face of the cliff, and they used to put us in a bucket and run us over on a trolley and shoot us into the shaft. The bucket traveled across a box cañon three hundred feet deep, and about a third full of water. Two Swedes had fell out of that bucket once, and hit the water, feet down. If you’ll believe it, they went to work the next day. You can’t kill a Swede. But in my time a little Eyetalian tried the high dive, and it turned out different with him. We was snowed in then, like we are now, and I happened to be the only man in camp that could make a coffin for him. It’s a handy thing to know, when you knock about like I’ve done.”

“The hardest part of my job is done,” he announced. “It’s the beginning that’s tough for me, especially when I haven’t done it in a while. The last time I made one of these, Ms. Burden,” he continued, as he sorted and tested his chisels, “was for a guy at the Black Tiger mine, up by Silverton, Colorado. That mine's entrance goes right into the cliff face, and they used to put us in a bucket, run us over on a trolley, and drop us into the shaft. The bucket traveled across a box canyon three hundred feet deep, about a third of it filled with water. Two Swedes fell out of that bucket once and landed feet first in the water. Believe it or not, they went to work the next day. You can’t kill a Swede. But back in my day, a little Italian tried the high dive, and that turned out differently for him. We were snowed in then, just like we are now, and I happened to be the only guy in camp who could make a coffin for him. It’s a useful skill to have when you’ve lived the way I have.”

“We’d be hard put to it now, if you did n’t know, Otto,” grandmother said.

“We'd really struggle now, if you didn’t know, Otto,” grandmother said.

“Yes, ’m,” Fuchs admitted with modest pride. “So few folks does know how to make[pg 125] a good tight box that’ll turn water. I sometimes wonder if there’ll be anybody about to do it for me. However, I’m not at all particular that way.”

“Yes, I am,” Fuchs admitted with a bit of pride. “So few people know how to make[pg 125] a good, tight box that’ll hold water. I sometimes wonder if anyone will be around to do it for me. However, I'm not too picky about that.”

All afternoon, wherever one went in the house, one could hear the panting wheeze of the saw or the pleasant purring of the plane. They were such cheerful noises, seeming to promise new things for living people: it was a pity that those freshly planed pine boards were to be put underground so soon. The lumber was hard to work because it was full of frost, and the boards gave off a sweet smell of pine woods, as the heap of yellow shavings grew higher and higher. I wondered why Fuchs had not stuck to cabinet-work, he settled down to it with such ease and content. He handled the tools as if he liked the feel of them; and when he planed, his hands went back and forth over the boards in an eager, beneficent way as if he were blessing them. He broke out now and then into German hymns, as if this occupation brought back old times to him.

All afternoon, wherever you went in the house, you could hear the panting wheeze of the saw or the pleasant purring of the plane. They were such cheerful sounds, seeming to promise new things for the living: it was a shame that those freshly planed pine boards were going to be buried so soon. The lumber was difficult to work with because it was full of frost, and the boards gave off a sweet smell of pine as the pile of yellow shavings grew higher and higher. I wondered why Fuchs hadn’t stuck to cabinet-making; he settled into it with such ease and satisfaction. He handled the tools as if he enjoyed the feel of them, and when he planed, his hands moved over the boards eagerly and kindly, as if he were blessing them. He broke into German hymns now and then, as if this work brought back memories of the past.

At four o’clock Mr. Bushy, the postmaster, with another neighbor who lived east of us, stopped in to get warm. They were on their[pg 126] way to the Shimerdas’. The news of what had happened over there had somehow got abroad through the snow-blocked country. Grandmother gave the visitors sugar-cakes and hot coffee. Before these callers were gone, the brother of the Widow Steavens, who lived on the Black Hawk road, drew up at our door, and after him came the father of the German family, our nearest neighbors on the south. They dismounted and joined us in the dining-room. They were all eager for any details about the suicide, and they were greatly concerned as to where Mr. Shimerda would be buried. The nearest Catholic cemetery was at Black Hawk, and it might be weeks before a wagon could get so far. Besides, Mr. Bushy and grandmother were sure that a man who had killed himself could not be buried in a Catholic graveyard. There was a burying-ground over by the Norwegian church, west of Squaw Creek; perhaps the Norwegians would take Mr. Shimerda in.

At four o’clock, Mr. Bushy, the postmaster, along with another neighbor from east of us, stopped by to warm up. They were on their way to the Shimerdas’. News about what happened there had somehow spread throughout the snow-covered area. Grandmother offered the visitors sugar cookies and hot coffee. Before they left, the brother of the Widow Steavens, who lived on the Black Hawk road, arrived at our door, followed by the father of the German family, our closest neighbors to the south. They got off their horses and joined us in the dining room. Everyone was eager for details about the suicide and was worried about where Mr. Shimerda would be buried. The nearest Catholic cemetery was in Black Hawk, and it could take weeks for a wagon to get there. Besides, Mr. Bushy and grandmother were sure that someone who had taken their own life couldn’t be buried in a Catholic graveyard. There was a cemetery near the Norwegian church, west of Squaw Creek; maybe the Norwegians would accept Mr. Shimerda.

After our visitors rode away in single file over the hill, we returned to the kitchen. Grandmother began to make the icing for a chocolate cake, and Otto again filled the house with the exciting, expectant song of the plane.[pg 127] One pleasant thing about this time was that everybody talked more than usual. I had never heard the postmaster say anything but “Only papers, to-day,” or, “I’ve got a sackful of mail for ye,” until this afternoon. Grandmother always talked, dear woman; to herself or to the Lord, if there was no one else to listen; but grandfather was naturally taciturn, and Jake and Otto were often so tired after supper that I used to feel as if I were surrounded by a wall of silence. Now every one seemed eager to talk. That afternoon Fuchs told me story after story; about the Black Tiger mine, and about violent deaths and casual buryings, and the queer fancies of dying men. You never really knew a man, he said, until you saw him die. Most men were game, and went without a grudge.

After our visitors rode away in a single file over the hill, we headed back to the kitchen. Grandmother started making icing for a chocolate cake, and Otto once again filled the house with the thrilling, expectant sound of the plane.[pg 127] One nice thing about this time was that everyone was talking more than usual. I had only ever heard the postmaster say “Only papers today,” or “I’ve got a sackful of mail for you,” until that afternoon. Grandmother always chatted, bless her; to herself or to the Lord, if no one else was around to listen; but grandfather was naturally quiet, and Jake and Otto were often so tired after dinner that I felt like I was surrounded by a wall of silence. Now everyone seemed eager to chat. That afternoon, Fuchs told me story after story; about the Black Tiger mine, and about violent deaths and casual burials, and the strange ideas of dying men. You never really knew a man, he said, until you saw him die. Most men were brave and faced it without a grudge.

The postmaster, going home, stopped to say that grandfather would bring the coroner back with him to spend the night. The officers of the Norwegian church, he told us, had held a meeting and decided that the Norwegian graveyard could not extend its hospitality to Mr. Shimerda.

The postmaster, on his way home, paused to mention that grandfather would be bringing the coroner back with him to stay the night. He informed us that the officials of the Norwegian church had met and decided that the Norwegian graveyard couldn’t accommodate Mr. Shimerda.

Grandmother was indignant. “If these foreigners are so clannish, Mr. Bushy, we’ll have[pg 128] to have an American graveyard that will be more liberal-minded. I’ll get right after Josiah to start one in the spring. If anything was to happen to me, I don’t want the Norwegians holding inquisitions over me to see whether I’m good enough to be laid amongst ’em.”

Grandmother was furious. “If these foreigners are so exclusive, Mr. Bushy, we’re going to need an American graveyard that’s more open-minded. I’ll make sure Josiah starts one in the spring. If anything were to happen to me, I don’t want the Norwegians scrutinizing me to decide if I’m good enough to be buried with them.”

Soon grandfather returned, bringing with him Anton Jelinek, and that important person, the coroner. He was a mild, flurried old man, a Civil War veteran, with one sleeve hanging empty. He seemed to find this case very perplexing, and said if it had not been for grandfather he would have sworn out a warrant against Krajiek. “The way he acted, and the way his axe fit the wound, was enough to convict any man.”

Soon, grandfather came back, bringing Anton Jelinek and the coroner, who was a significant figure. He was a gentle, flustered old man, a Civil War veteran, with one sleeve hanging empty. He seemed to find this case quite confusing and mentioned that if it weren’t for grandfather, he would have issued a warrant for Krajiek. “The way he behaved and how his axe matched the wound was enough to convict anyone.”

Although it was perfectly clear that Mr. Shimerda had killed himself, Jake and the coroner thought something ought to be done to Krajiek because he behaved like a guilty man. He was badly frightened, certainly, and perhaps he even felt some stirrings of remorse for his indifference to the old man’s misery and loneliness.

Although it was clear that Mr. Shimerda had taken his own life, Jake and the coroner believed something should be done about Krajiek because he acted like someone with a guilty conscience. He was definitely scared, and maybe he even felt some pangs of guilt for being indifferent to the old man’s suffering and isolation.

At supper the men ate like vikings, and the chocolate cake, which I had hoped would linger on until to-morrow in a mutilated[pg 129] condition, disappeared on the second round. They talked excitedly about where they should bury Mr. Shimerda; I gathered that the neighbors were all disturbed and shocked about something. It developed that Mrs. Shimerda and Ambrosch wanted the old man buried on the southwest corner of their own land; indeed, under the very stake that marked the corner. Grandfather had explained to Ambrosch that some day, when the country was put under fence and the roads were confined to section lines, two roads would cross exactly on that corner. But Ambrosch only said, “It makes no matter.”

At dinner, the guys ate like warriors, and the chocolate cake, which I had hoped would last until tomorrow in a half-eaten condition, disappeared after the second serving. They talked excitedly about where to bury Mr. Shimerda; I gathered that the neighbors were all upset and shocked about something. It turned out that Mrs. Shimerda and Ambrosch wanted the old man buried in the southwest corner of their land; in fact, right under the stake that marked the corner. Grandfather had told Ambrosch that someday, when the country was fenced in and the roads were limited to section lines, two roads would intersect right at that corner. But Ambrosch just said, "It doesn't matter."

Grandfather asked Jelinek whether in the old country there was some superstition to the effect that a suicide must be buried at the cross-roads.

Grandfather asked Jelinek if there was a superstition in the old country that said a person who committed suicide had to be buried at the crossroads.

Jelinek said he did n’t know; he seemed to remember hearing there had once been such a custom in Bohemia. “Mrs. Shimerda is made up her mind,” he added. “I try to persuade her, and say it looks bad for her to all the neighbors; but she say so it must be. ‘There I will bury him, if I dig the grave myself,’ she say. I have to promise her I help Ambrosch make the grave to-morrow.”

Jelinek said he didn’t know; he seemed to remember hearing that there used to be a custom in Bohemia. “Mrs. Shimerda has made up her mind,” he added. “I try to persuade her and tell her it looks bad to all the neighbors, but she insists it has to be this way. ‘I will bury him there, even if I have to dig the grave myself,’ she says. I had to promise her that I would help Ambrosch make the grave tomorrow.”

[pg 130]

Grandfather smoothed his beard and looked judicial. “I don’t know whose wish should decide the matter, if not hers. But if she thinks she will live to see the people of this country ride over that old man’s head, she is mistaken.”

Grandfather stroked his beard and looked serious. “I don’t know whose wish should settle this issue, if not hers. But if she believes she will live to see the people of this country trample that old man, she is mistaken.”


[pg 131]

XVI

Mr. Shimerda lay dead in the barn four days, and on the fifth they buried him. All day Friday Jelinek was off with Ambrosch digging the grave, chopping out the frozen earth with old axes. On Saturday we breakfasted before daylight and got into the wagon with the coffin. Jake and Jelinek went ahead on horseback to cut the body loose from the pool of blood in which it was frozen fast to the ground.

Mr. Shimerda had been dead in the barn for four days, and on the fifth day, they buried him. All day Friday, Jelinek was with Ambrosch digging the grave, chopping out the frozen ground with old axes. On Saturday, we had breakfast before dawn and got into the wagon with the coffin. Jake and Jelinek went on horseback ahead to free the body from the pool of blood where it was frozen to the ground.

When grandmother and I went into the Shimerdas’ house, we found the women-folk alone; Ambrosch and Marek were at the barn. Mrs. Shimerda sat crouching by the stove, Ántonia was washing dishes. When she saw me she ran out of her dark corner and threw her arms around me. “Oh, Jimmy,” she sobbed, “what you tink for my lovely papa!” It seemed to me that I could feel her heart breaking as she clung to me.

When Grandma and I entered the Shimerdas' house, we found the women there by themselves; Ambrosch and Marek were at the barn. Mrs. Shimerda was crouched by the stove, and Ántonia was washing dishes. When she saw me, she rushed out of her dark corner and hugged me tightly. “Oh, Jimmy,” she cried, “what do you think about my lovely papa!” I felt like I could sense her heart breaking as she held onto me.

Mrs. Shimerda, sitting on the stump by the stove, kept looking over her shoulder toward the door while the neighbors were arriving. They came on horseback, all except the[pg 132] postmaster, who brought his family in a wagon over the only broken wagon-trail. The Widow Steavens rode up from her farm eight miles down the Black Hawk road. The cold drove the women into the cave-house, and it was soon crowded. A fine, sleety snow was beginning to fall, and every one was afraid of another storm and anxious to have the burial over with.

Ms. Shimerda, sitting on the stump by the stove, kept glancing over her shoulder toward the door as the neighbors arrived. They all came on horseback except for the[pg 132] postmaster, who brought his family in a wagon along the only rough wagon-trail. The Widow Steavens rode up from her farm eight miles down the Black Hawk road. The cold pushed the women into the cave-house, and it quickly became crowded. A fine, icy snow was starting to fall, and everyone was worried about another storm and eager to get the burial done.

Grandfather and Jelinek came to tell Mrs. Shimerda that it was time to start. After bundling her mother up in clothes the neighbors had brought, Ántonia put on an old cape from our house and the rabbit-skin hat her father had made for her. Four men carried Mr. Shimerda’s box up the hill; Krajiek slunk along behind them. The coffin was too wide for the door, so it was put down on the slope outside. I slipped out from the cave and looked at Mr. Shimerda. He was lying on his side, with his knees drawn up. His body was draped in a black shawl, and his head was bandaged in white muslin, like a mummy’s; one of his long, shapely hands lay out on the black cloth; that was all one could see of him.

Grandfather and Jelinek came to tell Mrs. Shimerda that it was time to start. After bundling her mother up in clothes the neighbors had brought, Ántonia put on an old cape from our house and the rabbit-skin hat her father had made for her. Four men carried Mr. Shimerda’s box up the hill; Krajiek sneaked along behind them. The coffin was too wide for the door, so it was set down on the slope outside. I slipped out from the cave and looked at Mr. Shimerda. He was lying on his side, with his knees drawn up. His body was covered with a black shawl, and his head was wrapped in white muslin, like a mummy; one of his long, shapely hands lay out on the black cloth; that was all that could be seen of him.

Mrs. Shimerda came out and placed an open[pg 133] prayer-book against the body, making the sign of the cross on the bandaged head with her fingers. Ambrosch knelt down and made the same gesture, and after him Ántonia and Marek. Yulka hung back. Her mother pushed her forward, and kept saying something to her over and over. Yulka knelt down, shut her eyes, and put out her hand a little way, but she drew it back and began to cry wildly. She was afraid to touch the bandage. Mrs. Shimerda caught her by the shoulders and pushed her toward the coffin, but grandmother interfered.

Mrs. Shimerda came out and placed an open[pg 133] prayer book against the body, making the sign of the cross on the bandaged head with her fingers. Ambrosch knelt down and made the same gesture, followed by Ántonia and Marek. Yulka hesitated. Her mother kept pushing her forward and repeating something to her over and over. Yulka knelt down, closed her eyes, and reached out her hand a little, but then she pulled it back and started to cry uncontrollably. She was scared to touch the bandage. Mrs. Shimerda grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her toward the coffin, but grandmother intervened.

“No, Mrs. Shimerda,” she said firmly, “I won’t stand by and see that child frightened into spasms. She is too little to understand what you want of her. Let her alone.”

“No, Mrs. Shimerda,” she said firmly, “I won’t stand by and watch that child get scared to death. She’s too young to grasp what you want from her. Leave her alone.”

At a look from grandfather, Fuchs and Jelinek placed the lid on the box, and began to nail it down over Mr. Shimerda. I was afraid to look at Ántonia. She put her arms round Yulka and held the little girl close to her.

At a glance from Grandpa, Fuchs and Jelinek put the lid on the box and started nailing it shut over Mr. Shimerda. I was scared to look at Ántonia. She wrapped her arms around Yulka and held the little girl close.

The coffin was put into the wagon. We drove slowly away, against the fine, icy snow which cut our faces like a sand-blast. When we reached the grave, it looked a very little spot in that snow-covered waste. The men[pg 134] took the coffin to the edge of the hole and lowered it with ropes. We stood about watching them, and the powdery snow lay without melting on the caps and shoulders of the men and the shawls of the women. Jelinek spoke in a persuasive tone to Mrs. Shimerda, and then turned to grandfather.

The coffin was loaded into the wagon. We drove slowly away, battling against the fine, icy snow that stung our faces like a sandblast. When we arrived at the grave, it looked like a tiny spot in that snow-covered expanse. The men[pg 134] took the coffin to the edge of the hole and lowered it with ropes. We stood around watching them, and the powdery snow settled without melting on the caps and shoulders of the men and the shawls of the women. Jelinek spoke in a persuasive tone to Mrs. Shimerda, and then turned to grandfather.

“She says, Mr. Burden, she is very glad if you can make some prayer for him here in English, for the neighbors to understand.”

“She says, Mr. Burden, she’d be really glad if you could say a prayer for him here in English, so the neighbors can understand.”

Grandmother looked anxiously at grandfather. He took off his hat, and the other men did likewise. I thought his prayer remarkable. I still remember it. He began, “Oh, great and just God, no man among us knows what the sleeper knows, nor is it for us to judge what lies between him and Thee.” He prayed that if any man there had been remiss toward the stranger come to a far country, God would forgive him and soften his heart. He recalled the promises to the widow and the fatherless, and asked God to smooth the way before this widow and her children, and to “incline the hearts of men to deal justly with her.” In closing, he said we were leaving Mr. Shimerda at “Thy judgment seat, which is also Thy mercy seat.”

Grandmother anxiously looked at grandfather. He took off his hat, and the other men followed suit. I thought his prayer was remarkable. I still remember it. He started, “Oh, great and just God, no man here knows what the sleeper knows, nor is it for us to judge what lies between him and You.” He prayed that if any man there had failed in his duty toward the stranger who had come to a distant land, God would forgive him and soften his heart. He reminded God of the promises made to the widow and the fatherless, and asked God to clear the path for this widow and her children, and to “incline the hearts of men to treat her fairly.” In closing, he said we were leaving Mr. Shimerda at “Your judgment seat, which is also Your mercy seat.”

[pg 135]

All the time he was praying, grandmother watched him through the black fingers of her glove, and when he said “Amen,” I thought she looked satisfied with him. She turned to Otto and whispered, “Can’t you start a hymn, Fuchs? It would seem less heathenish.”

All the while he was praying, grandma watched him through the dark fingers of her glove, and when he said "Amen," I thought she looked pleased with him. She turned to Otto and whispered, "Can't you start a hymn, Fuchs? It would feel less like paganism."

Fuchs glanced about to see if there was general approval of her suggestion, then began, “Jesus, Lover of my Soul,” and all the men and women took it up after him. Whenever I have heard the hymn since, it has made me remember that white waste and the little group of people; and the bluish air, full of fine, eddying snow, like long veils flying:—

Fuchs looked around to see if everyone approved of her suggestion, then started singing, “Jesus, Lover of my Soul,” and all the men and women joined in after him. Every time I’ve heard the hymn since then, it has made me remember that white expanse and the small group of people; and the bluish air, filled with soft, swirling snow, like long veils flying:—

“While the nearer waters roll,
While the tempest still is high.”
 

Years afterward, when the open-grazing days were over, and the red grass had been ploughed under and under until it had almost disappeared from the prairie; when all the fields were under fence, and the roads no longer ran about like wild things, but followed the surveyed section-lines, Mr. Shimerda’s grave was still there, with a sagging wire fence around it, and an unpainted wooden cross.[pg 136] As grandfather had predicted, Mrs. Shimerda never saw the roads going over his head. The road from the north curved a little to the east just there, and the road from the west swung out a little to the south; so that the grave, with its tall red grass that was never mowed, was like a little island; and at twilight, under a new moon or the clear evening star, the dusty roads used to look like soft gray rivers flowing past it. I never came upon the place without emotion, and in all that country it was the spot most dear to me. I loved the dim superstition, the propitiatory intent, that had put the grave there; and still more I loved the spirit that could not carry out the sentence—the error from the surveyed lines, the clemency of the soft earth roads along which the home-coming wagons rattled after sunset. Never a tired driver passed the wooden cross, I am sure, without wishing well to the sleeper.

Years later, when the days of open grazing were gone, and the red grass had been plowed under so much that it almost vanished from the prairie; when every field was fenced in, and the roads no longer meandered freely but followed the marked section lines, Mr. Shimerda's grave was still there, surrounded by a sagging wire fence and marked by an unpainted wooden cross.[pg 136] Just as my grandfather had predicted, Ms. Shimerda never saw the roads passing over his grave. The road coming from the north bent slightly to the east at that point, and the road from the west veered a bit to the south; so the grave, with its tall red grass that was never trimmed, felt like a little island. At twilight, under a new moon or the bright evening star, the dusty roads looked like soft gray rivers flowing past it. I never found the place without feeling something deep inside, and it was the spot I cherished most in all that land. I loved the faint superstition, the sense of tribute that led to the grave's placement there; even more, I cherished the spirit that couldn’t quite execute the task—the deviation from the surveyed lines, the kindness of the soft earth roads along which the returning wagons clattered after sunset. I’m sure no weary driver passed the wooden cross without wishing well to the person resting there.


[pg 137]

XVII

When spring came, after that hard winter, one could not get enough of the nimble air. Every morning I wakened with a fresh consciousness that winter was over. There were none of the signs of spring for which I used to watch in Virginia, no budding woods or blooming gardens. There was only—spring itself; the throb of it, the light restlessness, the vital essence of it everywhere; in the sky, in the swift clouds, in the pale sunshine, and in the warm, high wind—rising suddenly, sinking suddenly, impulsive and playful like a big puppy that pawed you and then lay down to be petted. If I had been tossed down blindfold on that red prairie, I should have known that it was spring.

When spring arrived, after that tough winter, the air felt so invigorating. Every morning I woke up knowing that winter was behind us. There weren’t the signs of spring I used to look for in Virginia, like budding trees or flowering gardens. It was just—spring itself; the pulse of it, the lively energy, the essence of it all around; in the sky, in the fast-moving clouds, in the soft sunshine, and in the warm, strong wind—rising and falling suddenly, vibrant and playful like a big puppy that nudges you and then flops down wanting affection. If I had been dropped blindfolded onto that red prairie, I would have recognized that it was spring.

Everywhere now there was the smell of burning grass. Our neighbors burned off their pasture before the new grass made a start, so that the fresh growth would not be mixed with the dead stand of last year. Those light, swift fires, running about the country, seemed a part of the same kindling that was in the air.

Everywhere there was the smell of burning grass. Our neighbors burned their pasture before the new grass started growing, so that the fresh shoots wouldn't mix with last year's dead grass. Those light, fast fires, spreading across the land, felt like they were part of the same kind of energy that was in the air.

[pg 138]

The Shimerdas were in their new log house by then. The neighbors had helped them to build it in March. It stood directly in front of their old cave, which they used as a cellar. The family were now fairly equipped to begin their struggle with the soil. They had four comfortable rooms to live in, a new windmill,—bought on credit,—a chicken-house and poultry. Mrs. Shimerda had paid grandfather ten dollars for a milk cow, and was to give him fifteen more as soon as they harvested their first crop.

The Shimerdas were settled into their new log house by then. The neighbors had helped them build it in March. It was right in front of their old cave, which they were using as a cellar. The family was now fairly equipped to start their struggle with the land. They had four comfortable rooms to live in, a new windmill—purchased on credit—a chicken coop, and some poultry. Mrs. Shimerda had paid grandfather ten dollars for a milk cow and was supposed to give him fifteen more as soon as they harvested their first crop.

When I rode up to the Shimerdas’ one bright windy afternoon in April, Yulka ran out to meet me. It was to her, now, that I gave reading lessons; Ántonia was busy with other things. I tied my pony and went into the kitchen where Mrs. Shimerda was baking bread, chewing poppy seeds as she worked. By this time she could speak enough English to ask me a great many questions about what our men were doing in the fields. She seemed to think that my elders withheld helpful information, and that from me she might get valuable secrets. On this occasion she asked me very craftily when grandfather expected to begin planting corn. I told her,[pg 139] adding that he thought we should have a dry spring and that the corn would not be held back by too much rain, as it had been last year.

When I rode up to the Shimerdas' one bright, windy afternoon in April, Yulka came running out to meet me. I was now giving her reading lessons; Ántonia was busy with other things. I tied my pony and went into the kitchen where Mrs. Shimerda was baking bread, munching on poppy seeds as she worked. By this time, she could speak enough English to ask me a lot of questions about what our men were doing in the fields. She seemed to think that my elders were keeping useful information from her, and that she could get valuable insights from me. On this occasion, she slyly asked when my grandfather expected to start planting corn. I told her,[pg 139], adding that he thought we would have a dry spring and that the corn wouldn’t be delayed by too much rain, as it had been last year.

She gave me a shrewd glance. “He not Jesus,” she blustered; “he not know about the wet and the dry.”

She gave me a clever look. “He’s not Jesus,” she said confidently; “he doesn’t know about the wet and the dry.”

I did not answer her; what was the use? As I sat waiting for the hour when Ambrosch and Ántonia would return from the fields, I watched Mrs. Shimerda at her work. She took from the oven a coffee-cake which she wanted to keep warm for supper, and wrapped it in a quilt stuffed with feathers. I have seen her put even a roast goose in this quilt to keep it hot. When the neighbors were there building the new house they saw her do this, and the story got abroad that the Shimerdas kept their food in their feather beds.

I didn't respond to her; what was the point? As I sat and waited for Ambrosch and Ántonia to come back from the fields, I watched Mrs. Shimerda as she worked. She took a coffee cake out of the oven that she wanted to keep warm for dinner and wrapped it in a quilt stuffed with feathers. I've even seen her put a roast goose in that quilt to keep it hot. When the neighbors were there building the new house, they saw her do this, and the story spread that the Shimerdas stored their food in their feather beds.

When the sun was dropping low, Ántonia came up the big south draw with her team. How much older she had grown in eight months! She had come to us a child, and now she was a tall, strong young girl, although her fifteenth birthday had just slipped by. I ran out and met her as she brought her horses up to the windmill to water them. She[pg 140] wore the boots her father had so thoughtfully taken off before he shot himself, and his old fur cap. Her outgrown cotton dress switched about her calves, over the boot-tops. She kept her sleeves rolled up all day, and her arms and throat were burned as brown as a sailor’s. Her neck came up strongly out of her shoulders, like the bole of a tree out of the turf. One sees that draft-horse neck among the peasant women in all old countries.

When the sun was setting, Ántonia came up the big south draw with her team. She had grown so much in eight months! She had arrived as a child, and now she was a tall, strong young girl, even though she had just turned fifteen. I ran out to meet her as she brought her horses up to the windmill to water them. She[pg 140] wore the boots her father had thoughtfully taken off before he shot himself, along with his old fur cap. Her outgrown cotton dress swayed around her calves, over the tops of her boots. She kept her sleeves rolled up all day, and her arms and neck were sunburned brown like a sailor’s. Her neck was strong and thick, rising from her shoulders like the trunk of a tree from the ground. You can see that kind of strong neck among peasant women in all old countries.

She greeted me gayly, and began at once to tell me how much ploughing she had done that day. Ambrosch, she said, was on the north quarter, breaking sod with the oxen.

She greeted me cheerfully and immediately started telling me how much plowing she had done that day. Ambrosch, she said, was on the north field, breaking up the ground with the oxen.

“Jim, you ask Jake how much he ploughed to-day. I don’t want that Jake get more done in one day than me. I want we have very much corn this fall.”

“Jim, ask Jake how much he plowed today. I don’t want Jake to get more done in a single day than I do. I want us to have a lot of corn this fall.”

While the horses drew in the water, and nosed each other, and then drank again, Ántonia sat down on the windmill step and rested her head on her hand. “You see the big prairie fire from your place last night? I hope your grandpa ain’t lose no stacks?”

While the horses were drinking water, nudging each other, and then drinking again, Ántonia sat down on the windmill step and rested her head on her hand. “Did you see the big prairie fire from your place last night? I hope your grandpa didn’t lose any haystacks?”

“No, we did n’t. I came to ask you something, Tony. Grandmother wants to know if you can’t go to the term of school that begins[pg 141] next week over at the sod schoolhouse. She says there’s a good teacher, and you’d learn a lot.”

“No, we didn’t. I came to ask you something, Tony. Grandma wants to know if you can go to the term of school that starts next week at the little schoolhouse. She says there’s a great teacher, and you’d learn a lot.”

Ántonia stood up, lifting and dropping her shoulders as if they were stiff. “I ain’t got time to learn. I can work like mans now. My mother can’t say no more how Ambrosch do all and nobody to help him. I can work as much as him. School is all right for little boys. I help make this land one good farm.”

Ántonia stood up, lifting and dropping her shoulders like they were stiff. “I don’t have time to learn. I can work like a man now. My mom can't say anymore how Ambrosch does everything and has no one to help him. I can work as much as he does. School is fine for little boys. I help turn this land into a good farm.”

She clucked to her team and started for the barn. I walked beside her, feeling vexed. Was she going to grow up boastful like her mother, I wondered? Before we reached the stable, I felt something tense in her silence, and glancing up I saw that she was crying. She turned her face from me and looked off at the red streak of dying light, over the dark prairie.

She called to her team and started toward the barn. I walked next to her, feeling frustrated. Was she going to become boastful like her mom, I wondered? Before we got to the stable, I sensed a tension in her silence, and when I looked up, I saw that she was crying. She turned her face away from me and gazed at the fading red light over the dark prairie.

I climbed up into the loft and threw down the hay for her, while she unharnessed her team. We walked slowly back toward the house. Ambrosch had come in from the north quarter, and was watering his oxen at the tank.

I climbed into the loft and tossed down the hay for her while she took off the harness from her team. We walked slowly back toward the house. Ambrosch had come in from the north side and was watering his oxen at the tank.

Ántonia took my hand. “Sometime you will tell me all those nice things you learn at the[pg 142] school, won’t you, Jimmy?” she asked with a sudden rush of feeling in her voice. “My father, he went much to school. He know a great deal; how to make the fine cloth like what you not got here. He play horn and violin, and he read so many books that the priests in Bohemie come to talk to him. You won’t forget my father, Jim?”

Ántonia took my hand. “One day you’ll tell me all those cool things you learn at the[pg 142] school, right, Jimmy?” she asked with a sudden wave of emotion in her voice. “My father went to school a lot. He knows so much; how to make the fine cloth that you don’t have here. He plays the horn and violin, and he read so many books that the priests in Bohemia would come to talk to him. You won’t forget my father, Jim?”

“No,” I said, “I will never forget him.”

“No,” I said, “I will never forget him.”

Mrs. Shimerda asked me to stay for supper. After Ambrosch and Ántonia had washed the field dust from their hands and faces at the wash-basin by the kitchen door, we sat down at the oilcloth-covered table. Mrs. Shimerda ladled meal mush out of an iron pot and poured milk on it. After the mush we had fresh bread and sorghum molasses, and coffee with the cake that had been kept warm in the feathers. Ántonia and Ambrosch were talking in Bohemian; disputing about which of them had done more ploughing that day. Mrs. Shimerda egged them on, chuckling while she gobbled her food.

Ms. Shimerda asked me to stay for dinner. After Ambrosch and Ántonia washed the dust off their hands and faces at the sink by the kitchen door, we sat down at the oilcloth-covered table. Mrs. Shimerda served up some meal mush from an iron pot and poured milk over it. After the mush, we had fresh bread with sorghum molasses and coffee along with the cake that had been kept warm in the feathers. Ántonia and Ambrosch were chatting in Bohemian, arguing about who had done more plowing that day. Mrs. Shimerda encouraged them, chuckling as she ate her food.

Illustration: Ántonia ploughing in the field

Presently Ambrosch said sullenly in English: “You take them ox to-morrow and try the sod plough. Then you not be so smart.”

Presently, Ambrosch said gloomily in English: “You take those oxen tomorrow and try the sod plow. Then you won’t be so smart.”

His sister laughed. “Don’t be mad. I know[pg 143] it’s awful hard work for break sod. I milk the cow for you to-morrow, if you want.”

His sister laughed. “Don’t be upset. I know[pg 143] it’s really tough to break new ground. I can milk the cow for you tomorrow, if you’d like.”

Mrs. Shimerda turned quickly to me. “That cow not give so much milk like what your grandpa say. If he make talk about fifteen dollars, I send him back the cow.”

Ms. Shimerda turned quickly to me. “That cow doesn’t give as much milk as your grandpa says. If he talks about fifteen dollars, I’ll send him back the cow.”

“He does n’t talk about the fifteen dollars,” I exclaimed indignantly. “He does n’t find fault with people.”

“He doesn’t talk about the fifteen dollars,” I said indignantly. “He doesn’t criticize people.”

“He say I break his saw when we build, and I never,” grumbled Ambrosch.

“He says I broke his saw when we were building, and I didn’t,” Ambrosch complained.

I knew he had broken the saw, and then hid it and lied about it. I began to wish I had not stayed for supper. Everything was disagreeable to me. Ántonia ate so noisily now, like a man, and she yawned often at the table and kept stretching her arms over her head, as if they ached. Grandmother had said, “Heavy field work’ll spoil that girl. She’ll lose all her nice ways and get rough ones.” She had lost them already.

I knew he had broken the saw, then hid it and lied about it. I started to wish I hadn’t stayed for dinner. Everything was unpleasant to me. Ántonia was eating so loudly now, like a man, and she kept yawning at the table and stretching her arms over her head, as if they hurt. Grandma had said, “Heavy field work will ruin that girl. She’ll lose all her nice manners and get rough ones.” She had already lost them.

After supper I rode home through the sad, soft spring twilight. Since winter I had seen very little of Ántonia. She was out in the fields from sun-up until sun-down. If I rode over to see her where she was ploughing, she stopped at the end of a row to chat for a[pg 144] moment, then gripped her plough-handles, clucked to her team, and waded on down the furrow, making me feel that she was now grown up and had no time for me. On Sundays she helped her mother make garden or sewed all day. Grandfather was pleased with Ántonia. When we complained of her, he only smiled and said, “She will help some fellow get ahead in the world.”

After dinner, I rode home through the sad, soft spring twilight. Since winter, I hadn't seen much of Ántonia. She was out in the fields from sunrise to sunset. When I rode over to see her while she was plowing, she would stop at the end of a row to chat for a moment, then grip the plow handles, call to her team, and wade down the furrow, making me feel like she had grown up and didn't have time for me anymore. On Sundays, she helped her mom with the garden or sewed all day. Grandfather liked Ántonia. When we complained about her, he just smiled and said, “She'll help some guy get ahead in life.”

Nowadays Tony could talk of nothing but the prices of things, or how much she could lift and endure. She was too proud of her strength. I knew, too, that Ambrosch put upon her some chores a girl ought not to do, and that the farmhands around the country joked in a nasty way about it. Whenever I saw her come up the furrow, shouting to her beasts, sunburned, sweaty, her dress open at the neck, and her throat and chest dust-plastered, I used to think of the tone in which poor Mr. Shimerda, who could say so little, yet managed to say so much when he exclaimed, “My Án-tonia!”

Nowadays, Tony could talk about nothing but the prices of things or how much she could lift and handle. She was way too proud of her strength. I also knew that Ambrosch gave her some chores that a girl shouldn't have to do, and that the farmhands around the area made nasty jokes about it. Whenever I saw her coming up the furrow, shouting to her animals, sunburned and sweaty, her dress open at the neck, and her throat and chest covered in dust, I would think of the way poor Mr. Shimerda, who could hardly say anything, still managed to express so much when he exclaimed, “My Án-tonia!”


[pg 145]

18

After I began to go to the country school, I saw less of the Bohemians. We were sixteen pupils at the sod schoolhouse, and we all came on horseback and brought our dinner. My schoolmates were none of them very interesting, but I somehow felt that by making comrades of them I was getting even with Ántonia for her indifference. Since the father’s death, Ambrosch was more than ever the head of the house and he seemed to direct the feelings as well as the fortunes of his women-folk. Ántonia often quoted his opinions to me, and she let me see that she admired him, while she thought of me only as a little boy. Before the spring was over, there was a distinct coldness between us and the Shimerdas. It came about in this way.

After I started attending the country school, I spent less time with the Bohemians. There were sixteen students at the sod schoolhouse, and we all rode in on horseback and brought our lunches. My classmates weren’t particularly interesting, but I felt that by befriending them, I was getting back at Ántonia for her indifference. Since their father's death, Ambrosch had taken on an even bigger role as the head of the household, and he seemed to control the emotions as well as the circumstances of the women in his family. Ántonia often shared his opinions with me, making it clear that she admired him while viewing me as just a little boy. By the end of spring, there was a noticeable distance between us and the Shimerdas. This happened in the following way.

One Sunday I rode over there with Jake to get a horse-collar which Ambrosch had borrowed from him and had not returned. It was a beautiful blue morning. The buffalo-peas were blooming in pink and purple masses along the roadside, and the larks, perched on[pg 146] last year’s dried sunflower stalks, were singing straight at the sun, their heads thrown back and their yellow breasts a-quiver. The wind blew about us in warm, sweet gusts. We rode slowly, with a pleasant sense of Sunday indolence.

One Sunday I rode over there with Jake to pick up a horse collar that Ambrosch had borrowed and hadn’t returned. It was a gorgeous blue morning. The buffalo peas were blooming in pink and purple clusters along the roadside, and the larks, sitting on last year's dried sunflower stalks, were singing directly at the sun, their heads thrown back and their yellow chests trembling. The wind was blowing around us in warm, sweet breezes. We rode slowly, enjoying a nice sense of Sunday laziness.

We found the Shimerdas working just as if it were a week-day. Marek was cleaning out the stable, and Ántonia and her mother were making garden, off across the pond in the draw-head. Ambrosch was up on the windmill tower, oiling the wheel. He came down, not very cordially. When Jake asked for the collar, he grunted and scratched his head. The collar belonged to grandfather, of course, and Jake, feeling responsible for it, flared up.

We found the Shimerdas working as if it were a regular weekday. Marek was cleaning out the stable, and Ántonia and her mom were gardening across the pond in the draw-head. Ambrosch was up on the windmill tower, oiling the wheel. He came down, not in the friendliest of moods. When Jake asked for the collar, he grunted and scratched his head. The collar belonged to their grandfather, and Jake, feeling responsible for it, got upset.

“Now, don’t you say you have n’t got it, Ambrosch, because I know you have, and if you ain’t a-going to look for it, I will.”

“Now, don’t say you don’t have it, Ambrosch, because I know you do, and if you’re not going to look for it, I will.”

Ambrosch shrugged his shoulders and sauntered down the hill toward the stable. I could see that it was one of his mean days. Presently he returned, carrying a collar that had been badly used—trampled in the dirt and gnawed by rats until the hair was sticking out of it.

Ambrosch shrugged and walked down the hill toward the stable. I could tell it was one of his rough days. Soon he came back, holding a collar that had seen better days—covered in dirt and chewed on by rats until the fur was all frayed.

“This what you want?” he asked surlily.

“Is this what you want?” he asked grumpily.

[pg 147]

Jake jumped off his horse. I saw a wave of red come up under the rough stubble on his face. “That ain’t the piece of harness I loaned you, Ambrosch; or if it is, you’ve used it shameful. I ain’t a-going to carry such a looking thing back to Mr. Burden.”

Jake jumped off his horse. I saw a wave of red rise up under the rough stubble on his face. “That’s not the piece of harness I lent you, Ambrosch; or if it is, you’ve really messed it up. I’m not going to take back something that looks like that to Mr. Burden.”

Ambrosch dropped the collar on the ground. “All right,” he said coolly, took up his oil-can, and began to climb the mill. Jake caught him by the belt of his trousers and yanked him back. Ambrosch’s feet had scarcely touched the ground when he lunged out with a vicious kick at Jake’s stomach. Fortunately Jake was in such a position that he could dodge it. This was not the sort of thing country boys did when they played at fisticuffs, and Jake was furious. He landed Ambrosch a blow on the head—it sounded like the crack of an axe on a cow-pumpkin. Ambrosch dropped over, stunned.

Ambrosch dropped the collar on the ground. “Okay,” he said calmly, grabbed his oil can, and started climbing the mill. Jake caught him by the belt of his pants and pulled him back. Ambrosch's feet had barely hit the ground when he kicked out at Jake’s stomach. Luckily, Jake was in a position to dodge it. This wasn’t the kind of thing country boys did when they were messing around, and Jake was furious. He hit Ambrosch on the head—it sounded like an axe cracking a pumpkin. Ambrosch fell over, stunned.

We heard squeals, and looking up saw Ántonia and her mother coming on the run. They did not take the path around the pond, but plunged through the muddy water, without even lifting their skirts. They came on, screaming and clawing the air. By this time Ambrosch had come to his senses and was[pg 148] sputtering with nose-bleed. Jake sprang into his saddle. “Let’s get out of this, Jim,” he called.

We heard shrieks, and when we looked up, we saw Ántonia and her mom running toward us. Instead of taking the path around the pond, they jumped right into the muddy water, not even bothering to lift their skirts. They came at us, yelling and flailing their arms. By this time, Ambrosch had regained his composure and was[pg 148] sputtering with a nosebleed. Jake hopped on his horse. “Let’s get out of here, Jim,” he shouted.

Mrs. Shimerda threw her hands over her head and clutched as if she were going to pull down lightning. “Law, law!” she shrieked after us. “Law for knock my Ambrosch down!”

Ms. Shimerda threw her hands up and grabbed as if she were going to pull down lightning. “Oh my gosh!” she shouted after us. “Oh my gosh, don’t knock my Ambrosch down!”

“I never like you no more, Jake and Jim Burden,” Ántonia panted. “No friends any more!”

“I don't like you anymore, Jake and Jim Burden,” Ántonia panted. “We're not friends anymore!”

Jake stopped and turned his horse for a second. “Well, you’re a damned ungrateful lot, the whole pack of you,” he shouted back. “I guess the Burdens can get along without you. You’ve been a sight of trouble to them, anyhow!”

Jake stopped and turned his horse for a moment. “Well, you’re a really ungrateful bunch, all of you,” he shouted back. “I guess the Burdens can manage without you. You’ve caused them enough trouble, anyway!”

We rode away, feeling so outraged that the fine morning was spoiled for us. I had n’t a word to say, and poor Jake was white as paper and trembling all over. It made him sick to get so angry. “They ain’t the same, Jimmy,” he kept saying in a hurt tone. “These foreigners ain’t the same. You can’t trust ’em to be fair. It’s dirty to kick a feller. You heard how the women turned on you—and after all we went through on account of ’em last[pg 149] winter! They ain’t to be trusted. I don’t want to see you get too thick with any of ’em.”

We rode off, feeling so angry that the beautiful morning was ruined for us. I had nothing to say, and poor Jake was as pale as a ghost and trembling all over. It made him sick to be so furious. “They’re not the same, Jimmy,” he kept saying in a pained voice. “These foreigners aren’t the same. You can’t trust them to be fair. It’s wrong to kick a guy when he’s down. You heard how the women turned on you—and after everything we went through because of them last[pg 149] winter! They can’t be trusted. I don’t want to see you getting too close to any of them.”

“I’ll never be friends with them again, Jake,” I declared hotly. “I believe they are all like Krajiek and Ambrosch underneath.”

“I’ll never be friends with them again, Jake,” I said angrily. “I think they’re all like Krajiek and Ambrosch on the inside.”

Grandfather heard our story with a twinkle in his eye. He advised Jake to ride to town to-morrow, go to a justice of the peace, tell him he had knocked young Shimerda down, and pay his fine. Then if Mrs. Shimerda was inclined to make trouble—her son was still under age—she would be forestalled. Jake said he might as well take the wagon and haul to market the pig he had been fattening. On Monday, about an hour after Jake had started, we saw Mrs. Shimerda and her Ambrosch proudly driving by, looking neither to the right nor left. As they rattled out of sight down the Black Hawk road, grandfather chuckled, saying he had rather expected she would follow the matter up.

Grandfather listened to our story with a sparkle in his eye. He suggested that Jake should ride into town tomorrow, visit a justice of the peace, admit that he had knocked young Shimerda down, and pay the fine. That way, if Mrs. Shimerda decided to cause trouble—since her son was still a minor—she would be outmaneuvered. Jake said he might as well take the wagon and haul the pig he had been fattening to market. On Monday, about an hour after Jake left, we saw Mrs. Shimerda and her Ambrosch proudly driving by, not looking to the right or left. As they disappeared down the Black Hawk road, grandfather chuckled, saying he had a feeling she would pursue the matter.

Jake paid his fine with a ten-dollar bill grandfather had given him for that purpose. But when the Shimerdas found that Jake sold his pig in town that day, Ambrosch worked it out in his shrewd head that Jake had to sell his pig to pay his fine. This theory[pg 150] afforded the Shimerdas great satisfaction, apparently. For weeks afterward, whenever Jake and I met Ántonia on her way to the post-office, or going along the road with her work-team, she would clap her hands and call to us in a spiteful, crowing voice:—

Jake paid his fine with a ten-dollar bill his grandfather had given him for that. But when the Shimerdas found out that Jake had sold his pig in town that day, Ambrosch figured out that Jake had to sell his pig to cover his fine. This idea[pg 150] seemed to give the Shimerdas a lot of satisfaction. For weeks afterward, whenever Jake and I ran into Ántonia on her way to the post office or traveling down the road with her work team, she would clap her hands and mockingly call out to us in a crowing voice:—

“Jake-y, Jake-y, sell the pig and pay the slap!”

“Jake-y, Jake-y, sell the pig and pay the bill!”

Otto pretended not to be surprised at Ántonia’s behavior. He only lifted his brows and said, “You can’t tell me anything new about a Czech; I’m an Austrian.”

Otto acted like Ántonia’s behavior didn’t surprise him. He just raised his eyebrows and said, “You can’t tell me anything I don’t already know about a Czech; I’m an Austrian.”

Grandfather was never a party to what Jake called our feud with the Shimerdas. Ambrosch and Ántonia always greeted him respectfully, and he asked them about their affairs and gave them advice as usual. He thought the future looked hopeful for them. Ambrosch was a far-seeing fellow; he soon realized that his oxen were too heavy for any work except breaking sod, and he succeeded in selling them to a newly arrived German. With the money he bought another team of horses, which grandfather selected for him. Marek was strong, and Ambrosch worked him hard; but he could never teach him to cultivate corn, I remember. The one idea that had ever got[pg 151] through poor Marek’s thick head was that all exertion was meritorious. He always bore down on the handles of the cultivator and drove the blades so deep into the earth that the horses were soon exhausted.

Grandfather was never involved in what Jake called our feud with the Shimerdas. Ambrosch and Ántonia always greeted him politely, and he would ask them about their lives and give them advice as usual. He believed their future looked promising. Ambrosch was quite perceptive; he quickly realized that his oxen were too heavy for any work besides breaking sod, and he managed to sell them to a new German settler. With the money, he bought another team of horses, which grandfather helped him choose. Marek was strong, and Ambrosch worked him hard; but I remember he could never teach him to cultivate corn. The only thing that ever got[pg 151] through poor Marek’s thick head was that any effort was commendable. He always pushed down hard on the handles of the cultivator and drove the blades so deep into the ground that the horses quickly became exhausted.

In June Ambrosch went to work at Mr. Bushy’s for a week, and took Marek with him at full wages. Mrs. Shimerda then drove the second cultivator; she and Ántonia worked in the fields all day and did the chores at night. While the two women were running the place alone, one of the new horses got colic and gave them a terrible fright.

In June, Ambrosch started working for Mr. Bushy for a week and brought Marek along at full pay. Mrs. Shimerda then operated the second cultivator; she and Ántonia worked in the fields all day and took care of the chores at night. While the two women were managing everything by themselves, one of the new horses got colic and scared them badly.

Ántonia had gone down to the barn one night to see that all was well before she went to bed, and she noticed that one of the roans was swollen about the middle and stood with its head hanging. She mounted another horse, without waiting to saddle him, and hammered on our door just as we were going to bed. Grandfather answered her knock. He did not send one of his men, but rode back with her himself, taking a syringe and an old piece of carpet he kept for hot applications when our horses were sick. He found Mrs. Shimerda sitting by the horse with her lantern, groaning and wringing her hands. It took but a few[pg 152] moments to release the gases pent up in the poor beast, and the two women heard the rush of wind and saw the roan visibly diminish in girth.

Ántonia went down to the barn one night to check on everything before going to bed, and she noticed that one of the roan horses was swollen in the middle and stood with its head drooping. She got on another horse without waiting to put the saddle on and knocked on our door just as we were about to go to bed. Grandfather answered the door. Instead of sending one of his men, he rode back with her himself, bringing a syringe and an old piece of carpet he kept for hot applications when our horses were sick. He found Mrs. Shimerda sitting by the horse with her lantern, groaning and wringing her hands. It took just a few moments to release the gases trapped in the poor beast, and the two women heard the rush of wind and saw the roan visibly shrink in size.

“If I lose that horse, Mr. Burden,” Ántonia exclaimed, “I never stay here till Ambrosch come home! I go drown myself in the pond before morning.”

“If I lose that horse, Mr. Burden,” Ántonia exclaimed, “I won’t stick around here until Ambrosch gets home! I’d rather drown myself in the pond before morning.”

When Ambrosch came back from Mr. Bushy’s, we learned that he had given Marek’s wages to the priest at Black Hawk, for masses for their father’s soul. Grandmother thought Ántonia needed shoes more than Mr. Shimerda needed prayers, but grandfather said tolerantly, “If he can spare six dollars, pinched as he is, it shows he believes what he professes.”

When Ambrosch returned from Mr. Bushy’s, we found out that he had given Marek’s pay to the priest at Black Hawk for masses for their father’s soul. Grandmother thought Ántonia needed shoes more than Mr. Shimerda needed prayers, but grandfather said patiently, “If he can spare six dollars, especially considering how tight things are for him, it shows he believes what he claims.”

It was grandfather who brought about a reconciliation with the Shimerdas. One morning he told us that the small grain was coming on so well, he thought he would begin to cut his wheat on the first of July. He would need more men, and if it were agreeable to every one he would engage Ambrosch for the reaping and thrashing, as the Shimerdas had no small grain of their own.

It was Grandpa who made peace with the Shimerdas. One morning he told us that the grain was coming along so well that he thought he’d start cutting his wheat on July 1st. He would need more help, and if everyone was okay with it, he would hire Ambrosch for the harvesting and threshing since the Shimerdas didn’t have any grain of their own.

“I think, Emmaline,” he concluded, “I will[pg 153] ask Ántonia to come over and help you in the kitchen. She will be glad to earn something, and it will be a good time to end misunderstandings. I may as well ride over this morning and make arrangements. Do you want to go with me, Jim?” His tone told me that he had already decided for me.

“I think, Emmaline,” he concluded, “I will[pg 153] ask Ántonia to come over and help you in the kitchen. She’ll be happy to earn some money, and it will be a good chance to clear up any misunderstandings. I might as well ride over this morning and make the arrangements. Do you want to come with me, Jim?” His tone indicated that he had already made the decision for me.

After breakfast we set off together. When Mrs. Shimerda saw us coming, she ran from her door down into the draw behind the stable, as if she did not want to meet us. Grandfather smiled to himself while he tied his horse, and we followed her.

After breakfast, we headed out together. When Mrs. Shimerda spotted us, she quickly ran from her door down into the gully behind the stable, as if she didn’t want to see us. Grandfather smiled to himself while he tied up his horse, and we followed her.

Behind the barn we came upon a funny sight. The cow had evidently been grazing somewhere in the draw. Mrs. Shimerda had run to the animal, pulled up the lariat pin, and, when we came upon her, she was trying to hide the cow in an old cave in the bank. As the hole was narrow and dark, the cow held back, and the old woman was slapping and pushing at her hind quarters, trying to spank her into the draw-side.

Behind the barn, we stumbled upon a funny scene. The cow had clearly been grazing somewhere in the low area. Ms. Shimerda had rushed to the animal, removed the lariat pin, and when we found her, she was attempting to hide the cow in an old cave in the bank. Since the hole was narrow and dark, the cow was refusing to go in, and the old woman was slapping and pushing at her backside, trying to shove her into the draw.

Grandfather ignored her singular occupation and greeted her politely. “Good-morning, Mrs. Shimerda. Can you tell me where I will find Ambrosch? Which field?”

Grandfather ignored her unique job and greeted her politely. “Good morning, Ms. Shimerda. Can you tell me where I can find Ambrosch? Which field?”

[pg 154]

“He with the sod corn.” She pointed toward the north, still standing in front of the cow as if she hoped to conceal it.

“He with the sod corn.” She pointed north, still standing in front of the cow as if she hoped to hide it.

“His sod corn will be good for fodder this winter,” said grandfather encouragingly. “And where is Ántonia?”

“His corn will be great for feed this winter,” said grandfather supportively. “And where is Ántonia?”

“She go with.” Mrs. Shimerda kept wiggling her bare feet about nervously in the dust.

“She goes with.” Mrs. Shimerda kept wiggling her bare feet nervously in the dust.

“Very well. I will ride up there. I want them to come over and help me cut my oats and wheat next month. I will pay them wages. Good-morning. By the way, Mrs. Shimerda,” he said as he turned up the path, “I think we may as well call it square about the cow.”

“Alright. I’ll ride up there. I want them to come over and help me cut my oats and wheat next month. I’ll pay them wages. Good morning. By the way, Mrs. Shimerda,” he said as he turned up the path, “I think we should call it even about the cow.”

She started and clutched the rope tighter. Seeing that she did not understand, grandfather turned back. “You need not pay me anything more; no more money. The cow is yours.”

She jumped and grabbed the rope tighter. Realizing she didn’t understand, grandpa turned back. “You don’t need to give me anything else; no more money. The cow is yours.”

“Pay no more, keep cow?” she asked in a bewildered tone, her narrow eyes snapping at us in the sunlight.

“Pay no more, keep cow?” she asked in a confused tone, her narrow eyes flashing at us in the sunlight.

“Exactly. Pay no more, keep cow.” He nodded.

“Exactly. Don’t pay more, keep the cow.” He nodded.

Mrs. Shimerda dropped the rope, ran after us, and crouching down beside grandfather,[pg 155] she took his hand and kissed it. I doubt if he had ever been so much embarrassed before. I was a little startled, too. Somehow, that seemed to bring the Old World very close.

Ms. Shimerda dropped the rope, ran after us, and crouching down beside grandfather,[pg 155] she took his hand and kissed it. I doubt he had ever felt so embarrassed before. I was a little shocked, too. Somehow, that made the Old World feel very present.

We rode away laughing, and grandfather said: “I expect she thought we had come to take the cow away for certain, Jim. I wonder if she would n’t have scratched a little if we’d laid hold of that lariat rope!”

We rode away laughing, and Grandpa said, “I bet she thought we definitely came to take the cow away, Jim. I wonder if she wouldn’t have kicked a little if we’d grabbed that lariat rope!”

Our neighbors seemed glad to make peace with us. The next Sunday Mrs. Shimerda came over and brought Jake a pair of socks she had knitted. She presented them with an air of great magnanimity, saying, “Now you not come any more for knock my Ambrosch down?”

Our neighbors seemed happy to make peace with us. The next Sunday Mrs. Shimerda came over and brought Jake a pair of socks she had knitted. She offered them with a sense of generosity, saying, “Now you won’t come anymore to knock my Ambrosch down?”

Jake laughed sheepishly. “I don’t want to have no trouble with Ambrosch. If he’ll let me alone, I’ll let him alone.”

Jake laughed awkwardly. “I don’t want any trouble with Ambrosch. If he’ll just leave me alone, I’ll leave him alone.”

“If he slap you, we ain’t got no pig for pay the fine,” she said insinuatingly.

“If he slaps you, we won’t have any pigs to pay the fine,” she said suggestively.

Jake was not at all disconcerted. “Have the last word, mam,” he said cheerfully. “It’s a lady’s privilege.”

Jake was completely unfazed. “Go ahead and have the last word, ma’am,” he said happily. “It’s a lady’s right.”


[pg 156]

XIX

July came on with that breathless, brilliant heat which makes the plains of Kansas and Nebraska the best corn country in the world. It seemed as if we could hear the corn growing in the night; under the stars one caught a faint crackling in the dewy, heavy-odored cornfields where the feathered stalks stood so juicy and green. If all the great plain from the Missouri to the Rocky Mountains had been under glass, and the heat regulated by a thermometer, it could not have been better for the yellow tassels that were ripening and fertilizing each other day by day. The cornfields were far apart in those times, with miles of wild grazing land between. It took a clear, meditative eye like my grandfather’s to foresee that they would enlarge and multiply until they would be, not the Shimerdas’ cornfields, or Mr. Bushy’s, but the world’s cornfields; that their yield would be one of the great economic facts, like the wheat crop of Russia, which underlie all the activities of men, in peace or war.

July arrived with that intense, brilliant heat that makes the plains of Kansas and Nebraska the best corn region in the world. It felt like we could hear the corn growing at night; under the stars, there was a faint crackling in the dewy, heavily-scented cornfields where the lush, green stalks thrived. If the entire plain from Missouri to the Rocky Mountains had been enclosed in glass, and the temperature managed by a thermometer, it couldn’t have been better for the yellow tassels that were maturing and pollinating each day. Back then, the cornfields were spaced out, with miles of wild grazing land in between. It took a clear, thoughtful perspective like my grandfather’s to predict that they would expand and multiply until they became not just the Shimerdas’ cornfields, or Mr. Bushy’s, but the world’s cornfields; that their harvest would be one of the major economic factors, like the wheat crop of Russia, which supports all human activities, in times of peace or war.

[pg 157]

The burning sun of those few weeks, with occasional rains at night, secured the corn. After the milky ears were once formed, we had little to fear from dry weather. The men were working so hard in the wheatfields that they did not notice the heat,—though I was kept busy carrying water for them,—and grandmother and Ántonia had so much to do in the kitchen that they could not have told whether one day was hotter than another. Each morning, while the dew was still on the grass, Ántonia went with me up to the garden to get early vegetables for dinner. Grandmother made her wear a sunbonnet, but as soon as we reached the garden she threw it on the grass and let her hair fly in the breeze. I remember how, as we bent over the pea-vines, beads of perspiration used to gather on her upper lip like a little mustache.

The blazing sun during those few weeks, along with some rain at night, helped secure the corn. Once the milky ears formed, we didn’t have much to worry about regarding dry weather. The men were working so hard in the wheat fields that they didn’t even notice the heat—though I was kept busy bringing them water—and grandmother and Ántonia were so occupied in the kitchen that they couldn’t have said whether one day was hotter than the next. Each morning, while the dew was still on the grass, Ántonia went with me to the garden to pick early veggies for dinner. Grandmother made her wear a sunbonnet, but as soon as we got to the garden, she tossed it onto the grass and let her hair blow in the breeze. I remember how, while we were bent over the pea vines, beads of sweat would gather on her upper lip like a tiny mustache.

“Oh, better I like to work out of doors than in a house!” she used to sing joyfully. “I not care that your grandmother say it makes me like a man. I like to be like a man.” She would toss her head and ask me to feel the muscles swell in her brown arm.

“Oh, I prefer being outdoors to inside a house!” she would joyfully sing. “I don't care if your grandmother says it makes me look like a man. I like being like a man.” She would toss her head and ask me to feel the muscles in her strong brown arm.

We were glad to have her in the house. She was so gay and responsive that one did not[pg 158] mind her heavy, running step, or her clattery way with pans. Grandmother was in high spirits during the weeks that Ántonia worked for us.

We were happy to have her in the house. She was so cheerful and eager that no one minded her heavy, noisy footsteps or her clanging around with the pots and pans. Grandmother was in great spirits during the weeks that Ántonia worked for us.

Illustration: Jim and Ántonia in the garden

All the nights were close and hot during that harvest season. The harvesters slept in the hayloft because it was cooler there than in the house. I used to lie in my bed by the open window, watching the heat lightning play softly along the horizon, or looking up at the gaunt frame of the windmill against the blue night sky. One night there was a beautiful electric storm, though not enough rain fell to damage the cut grain. The men went down to the barn immediately after supper, and when the dishes were washed Ántonia and I climbed up on the slanting roof of the chicken-house to watch the clouds. The thunder was loud and metallic, like the rattle of sheet iron, and the lightning broke in great zigzags across the heavens, making everything stand out and come close to us for a moment. Half the sky was checkered with black thunderheads, but all the west was luminous and clear: in the lightning-flashes it looked like deep blue water, with the sheen of moonlight on it; and the mottled part of the sky was like marble[pg 159] pavement, like the quay of some splendid sea-coast city, doomed to destruction. Great warm splashes of rain fell on our upturned faces. One black cloud, no bigger than a little boat, drifted out into the clear space unattended, and kept moving westward. All about us we could hear the felty beat of the raindrops on the soft dust of the farmyard. Grandmother came to the door and said it was late, and we would get wet out there.

All the nights were close and hot during that harvest season. The harvesters slept in the hayloft because it was cooler there than in the house. I used to lie in my bed by the open window, watching the heat lightning flicker softly along the horizon, or looking up at the skeletal frame of the windmill against the blue night sky. One night there was a stunning electric storm, though not enough rain fell to damage the cut grain. The men went down to the barn right after dinner, and when the dishes were cleaned, Ántonia and I climbed up on the slanting roof of the chicken house to watch the clouds. The thunder was loud and metallic, like the rattle of sheet metal, and the lightning split the sky into great zigzags, making everything pop out and come close to us for a moment. Half the sky was checkered with black thunderheads, but all the west was bright and clear: in the lightning flashes, it looked like deep blue water, shimmering with moonlight; and the mottled part of the sky resembled marble pavement, like the quay of some gorgeous coastal city, doomed to destruction. Great warm splashes of rain fell on our upturned faces. One black cloud, no bigger than a small boat, drifted out into the clear space alone and kept moving westward. All around us, we could hear the soft thud of the raindrops on the dusty farmyard. Grandmother came to the door and said it was late, and we would get wet out there.

“In a minute we come,” Ántonia called back to her. “I like your grandmother, and all things here,” she sighed. “I wish my papa live to see this summer. I wish no winter ever come again.”

“In a minute, we’ll be there,” Ántonia called back to her. “I really like your grandmother and everything here,” she sighed. “I wish my dad could see this summer. I hope winter never comes again.”

“It will be summer a long while yet,” I reassured her. “Why are n’t you always nice like this, Tony?”

“It’s going to be summer for quite a while longer,” I assured her. “Why aren’t you always this nice, Tony?”

“How nice?”

"How nice!"

“Why, just like this; like yourself. Why do you all the time try to be like Ambrosch?”

“Why, just like this; like you. Why do you keep trying to be like Ambrosch?”

She put her arms under her head and lay back, looking up at the sky. “If I live here, like you, that is different. Things will be easy for you. But they will be hard for us.”

She placed her arms under her head and leaned back, gazing up at the sky. “If I live here, like you, that’s a different story. Things will be easy for you. But they’ll be tough for us.”


[pg 161]

Book II—The Working Girls


[pg 163]

I

I had been living with my grandfather for nearly three years when he decided to move to Black Hawk. He and grandmother were getting old for the heavy work of a farm, and as I was now thirteen they thought I ought to be going to school. Accordingly our homestead was rented to “that good woman, the Widow Steavens,” and her bachelor brother, and we bought Preacher White’s house, at the north end of Black Hawk. This was the first town house one passed driving in from the farm, a landmark which told country people their long ride was over.

I had been living with my grandfather for almost three years when he decided to move to Black Hawk. He and my grandmother were getting too old for the heavy work on the farm, and since I was now thirteen, they thought it was time for me to start school. So, we rented our homestead to “that nice woman, the Widow Steavens,” and her bachelor brother, and we bought Preacher White’s house at the north end of Black Hawk. This was the first house in town that you would see when driving in from the farm, a landmark that signaled to country folks that their long ride was over.

We were to move to Black Hawk in March, and as soon as grandfather had fixed the date he let Jake and Otto know of his intention. Otto said he would not be likely to find another place that suited him so well; that he was tired of farming and thought he would go back to what he called the “wild[pg 164] West.” Jake Marpole, lured by Otto’s stories of adventure, decided to go with him. We did our best to dissuade Jake. He was so handicapped by illiteracy and by his trusting disposition that he would be an easy prey to sharpers. Grandmother begged him to stay among kindly, Christian people, where he was known; but there was no reasoning with him. He wanted to be a prospector. He thought a silver mine was waiting for him in Colorado.

We were scheduled to move to Black Hawk in March, and as soon as Grandpa set the date, he informed Jake and Otto of his plans. Otto mentioned he probably wouldn't find another place that suited him as well; he was tired of farming and thought he’d return to what he called the “wild West.” Jake Marpole, drawn in by Otto’s tales of adventure, decided to join him. We did our best to talk Jake out of it. He was really limited by his illiteracy and his trusting nature, making him an easy target for con artists. Grandma pleaded with him to stay among kind, Christian folks, where he was known, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to be a prospector and believed a silver mine was waiting for him in Colorado.

Jake and Otto served us to the last. They moved us into town, put down the carpets in our new house, made shelves and cupboards for grandmother’s kitchen, and seemed loath to leave us. But at last they went, without warning. Those two fellows had been faithful to us through sun and storm, had given us things that cannot be bought in any market in the world. With me they had been like older brothers; had restrained their speech and manners out of care for me, and given me so much good comradeship. Now they got on the west-bound train one morning, in their Sunday clothes, with their oilcloth valises—and I never saw them again. Months afterward we got a card from Otto, saying that Jake had been down with mountain fever,[pg 165] but now they were both working in the Yankee Girl mine, and were doing well. I wrote to them at that address, but my letter was returned to me, “unclaimed.” After that we never heard from them.

Jake and Otto helped us until the very end. They moved us into town, laid down the carpets in our new house, built shelves and cupboards for Grandma’s kitchen, and seemed reluctant to leave us. But finally, they left without any notice. Those two had been loyal to us through good times and bad, giving us things that can't be bought in any store. To me, they were like older brothers; they adjusted their speech and behavior out of concern for me, and provided me with a lot of good friendship. One morning, they boarded the west-bound train in their Sunday clothes, with their oilcloth suitcases—and I never saw them again. Months later, we received a card from Otto, saying that Jake had been sick with mountain fever, but now they were both working in the Yankee Girl mine and doing well. I wrote to them at that address, but my letter was returned to me, “unclaimed.” After that, we never heard from them.

Black Hawk, the new world in which we had come to live, was a clean, well-planted little prairie town, with white fences and good green yards about the dwellings, wide, dusty streets, and shapely little trees growing along the wooden sidewalks. In the center of the town there were two rows of new brick “store” buildings, a brick schoolhouse, the courthouse, and four white churches. Our own house looked down over the town, and from our upstairs windows we could see the winding line of the river bluffs, two miles south of us. That river was to be my compensation for the lost freedom of the farming country.

Black Hawk, the new world we had come to live in, was a clean, well-kept little prairie town, with white fences and nice green yards around the houses, wide, dusty streets, and some pretty trees lining the wooden sidewalks. In the center of town, there were two rows of new brick store buildings, a brick school, the courthouse, and four white churches. Our house overlooked the town, and from our upstairs windows, we could see the winding line of the river bluffs, two miles to the south. That river was going to be my compensation for the lost freedom of the farming land.

We came to Black Hawk in March, and by the end of April we felt like town people. Grandfather was a deacon in the new Baptist Church, grandmother was busy with church suppers and missionary societies, and I was quite another boy, or thought I was. Suddenly put down among boys of my own age, I found I had a great deal to learn. Before[pg 166] the spring term of school was over I could fight, play “keeps,” tease the little girls, and use forbidden words as well as any boy in my class. I was restrained from utter savagery only by the fact that Mrs. Harling, our nearest neighbor, kept an eye on me, and if my behavior went beyond certain bounds I was not permitted to come into her yard or to play with her jolly children.

We arrived in Black Hawk in March, and by the end of April, we felt like we belonged in town. My grandfather was a deacon at the new Baptist Church, my grandmother was busy with church dinners and missionary groups, and I felt like a different boy, or at least I thought I did. Suddenly being around boys my age, I realized I had a lot to learn. By the time the spring term of school ended, I could fight, play "keeps," tease the little girls, and use bad words just like any boy in my class. The only thing keeping me from going completely wild was that Mrs. Harling, our closest neighbor, was watching me, and if I crossed the line with my behavior, I wasn't allowed in her yard or to play with her fun-loving kids.

We saw more of our country neighbors now than when we lived on the farm. Our house was a convenient stopping-place for them. We had a big barn where the farmers could put up their teams, and their women-folk more often accompanied them, now that they could stay with us for dinner, and rest and set their bonnets right before they went shopping. The more our house was like a country hotel, the better I liked it. I was glad, when I came home from school at noon, to see a farm wagon standing in the back yard, and I was always ready to run downtown to get beefsteak or baker’s bread for unexpected company. All through that first spring and summer I kept hoping that Ambrosch would bring Ántonia and Yulka to see our new house. I wanted to show them our red plush[pg 167] furniture, and the trumpet-blowing cherubs the German paper-hanger had put on our parlor ceiling.

We noticed our country neighbors visiting more now than when we lived on the farm. Our house had become a convenient stop for them. We had a big barn where farmers could stable their teams, and their wives often accompanied them since they could stay with us for dinner, relax, and fix their bonnets before heading out to shop. The more our home felt like a country inn, the more I enjoyed it. When I came home from school at noon, I was happy to see a farm wagon in the backyard, and I was always ready to dash downtown to grab beefsteak or bread for unexpected guests. Throughout that first spring and summer, I kept hoping that Ambrosch would bring Ántonia and Yulka to check out our new house. I wanted to show them our red plush[pg 167] furniture and the trumpet-blowing cherubs the German paper-hanger painted on our parlor ceiling.

When Ambrosch came to town, however, he came alone, and though he put his horses in our barn, he would never stay for dinner, or tell us anything about his mother and sisters. If we ran out and questioned him as he was slipping through the yard, he would merely work his shoulders about in his coat and say, “They all right, I guess.”

When Ambrosch came to town, he came alone, and even though he put his horses in our barn, he never stayed for dinner or told us anything about his mom and sisters. If we rushed out and asked him questions as he was leaving through the yard, he would just shrug in his coat and say, “They’re all good, I guess.”

Mrs. Steavens, who now lived on our farm, grew as fond of Ántonia as we had been, and always brought us news of her. All through the wheat season, she told us, Ambrosch hired his sister out like a man, and she went from farm to farm, binding sheaves or working with the thrashers. The farmers liked her and were kind to her; said they would rather have her for a hand than Ambrosch. When fall came she was to husk corn for the neighbors until Christmas, as she had done the year before; but grandmother saved her from this by getting her a place to work with our neighbors, the Harlings.

Ms. Steavens, who now lived on our farm, grew just as fond of Ántonia as we had been, and always brought us updates about her. Throughout the wheat season, she told us that Ambrosch hired his sister out like a pro, and she went from farm to farm, binding sheaves or working with the thrashers. The farmers liked her and treated her well; they said they would rather have her as a worker than Ambrosch. When fall arrived, she was supposed to husk corn for the neighbors until Christmas, just like she had done the previous year; but grandmother saved her from that by finding her a job with our neighbors, the Harlings.


[pg 168]

II

Grandmother often said that if she had to live in town, she thanked God she lived next the Harlings. They had been farming people, like ourselves, and their place was like a little farm, with a big barn and a garden, and an orchard and grazing lots,—even a windmill. The Harlings were Norwegians, and Mrs. Harling had lived in Christiania until she was ten years old. Her husband was born in Minnesota. He was a grain merchant and cattle buyer, and was generally considered the most enterprising business man in our county. He controlled a line of grain elevators in the little towns along the railroad to the west of us, and was away from home a great deal. In his absence his wife was the head of the household.

Grandma often said that if she had to live in town, she was grateful she lived next to the Harlings. They were farmers, like us, and their property resembled a small farm, with a big barn, a garden, an orchard, and grazing lots—even a windmill. The Harlings were Norwegian, and Ms. Harling had lived in Christiania until she was ten years old. Her husband was born in Minnesota. He was a grain merchant and cattle buyer, and was generally seen as the most enterprising businessman in our county. He ran a line of grain elevators in the small towns along the railroad to the west of us and was away from home a lot. During his absence, his wife was the head of the household.

Mrs. Harling was short and square and sturdy-looking, like her house. Every inch of her was charged with an energy that made itself felt the moment she entered a room. Her face was rosy and solid, with bright, twinkling eyes and a stubborn little chin. She[pg 169] was quick to anger, quick to laughter, and jolly from the depths of her soul. How well I remember her laugh; it had in it the same sudden recognition that flashed into her eyes, was a burst of humor, short and intelligent. Her rapid footsteps shook her own floors, and she routed lassitude and indifference wherever she came. She could not be negative or perfunctory about anything. Her enthusiasm, and her violent likes and dislikes, asserted themselves in all the every-day occupations of life. Wash-day was interesting, never dreary, at the Harlings’. Preserving-time was a prolonged festival, and house-cleaning was like a revolution. When Mrs. Harling made garden that spring, we could feel the stir of her undertaking through the willow hedge that separated our place from hers.

Ms. Harling was short, stocky, and sturdy-looking, just like her house. She radiated an energy that was noticeable as soon as she entered a room. Her face was rosy and solid, with bright, sparkling eyes and a stubborn little chin. She[pg 169] was quick to get angry, quick to laugh, and genuinely cheerful from deep within her soul. I remember her laugh well; it had the same instant spark of recognition that lit up her eyes and was a burst of humor—short and clever. Her quick footsteps shook her own floors, and she chased away laziness and indifference wherever she went. She couldn't be negative or half-hearted about anything. Her enthusiasm, along with her strong likes and dislikes, showed up in all the daily activities of life. Wash day at the Harlings' was always interesting, never dull. Preserving time felt like an extended celebration, and house cleaning was like a revolution. When Ms. Harling worked in her garden that spring, we could feel the excitement of her project through the willow hedge that separated our property from hers.

Three of the Harling children were near me in age. Charley, the only son,—they had lost an older boy,—was sixteen; Julia, who was known as the musical one, was fourteen when I was; and Sally, the tomboy with short hair, was a year younger. She was nearly as strong as I, and uncannily clever at all boys’ sports. Sally was a wild thing, with sunburned yellow hair, bobbed about her ears,[pg 170] and a brown skin, for she never wore a hat. She raced all over town on one roller skate, often cheated at “keeps,” but was such a quick shot one could n’t catch her at it.

Three of the Harling kids were around my age. Charley, their only son—since they'd lost an older boy—was sixteen; Julia, the one everyone called the musical one, was fourteen like me; and Sally, the tomboy with short hair, was a year younger. She was almost as strong as I was and surprisingly good at all the boys' sports. Sally was a wild one, with sun-kissed yellow hair cut around her ears,[pg 170] and a brown skin because she never wore a hat. She zoomed around town on one roller skate, often bent the rules at “keeps,” but was so quick that no one could catch her at it.

The grown-up daughter, Frances, was a very important person in our world. She was her father’s chief clerk, and virtually managed his Black Hawk office during his frequent absences. Because of her unusual business ability, he was stern and exacting with her. He paid her a good salary, but she had few holidays and never got away from her responsibilities. Even on Sundays she went to the office to open the mail and read the markets. With Charley, who was not interested in business, but was already preparing for Annapolis, Mr. Harling was very indulgent; bought him guns and tools and electric batteries, and never asked what he did with them.

Frances, the adult daughter, was a key figure in our world. She served as her father’s chief clerk and practically ran his Black Hawk office during his frequent absences. Due to her exceptional business skills, he was strict and demanding with her. He paid her well, but she rarely took time off and always had her responsibilities hanging over her. Even on Sundays, she went to the office to sort through the mail and check the markets. In contrast, Mr. Harling was very lenient with Charley, who wasn’t interested in business but was already getting ready for Annapolis; he bought him guns, tools, and electric batteries, never bothering to ask what he was doing with them.

Frances was dark, like her father, and quite as tall. In winter she wore a sealskin coat and cap, and she and Mr. Harling used to walk home together in the evening, talking about grain-cars and cattle, like two men. Sometimes she came over to see grandfather after supper, and her visits flattered him. More than once they put their wits together to[pg 171] rescue some unfortunate farmer from the clutches of Wick Cutter, the Black Hawk money-lender. Grandfather said Frances Harling was as good a judge of credits as any banker in the county. The two or three men who had tried to take advantage of her in a deal acquired celebrity by their defeat. She knew every farmer for miles about; how much land he had under cultivation, how many cattle he was feeding, what his liabilities were. Her interest in these people was more than a business interest. She carried them all in her mind as if they were characters in a book or a play.

Frances was dark like her father and just as tall. In winter, she wore a sealskin coat and cap, and she and Mr. Harling would walk home together in the evening, chatting about grain cars and cattle, like two guys. Sometimes, she visited her grandfather after dinner, and her visits made him feel good. More than once, they teamed up to rescue some unlucky farmer from Wick Cutter, the Black Hawk money-lender. Grandfather said Frances Harling was as good a judge of credit as any banker in the county. The few men who had tried to take advantage of her in a deal became well-known by their failures. She knew every farmer for miles around: how much land he had, how many cattle he was raising, and what his debts were. Her interest in these people went beyond business; she kept them all in her mind like characters in a book or a play.

When Frances drove out into the country on business, she would go miles out of her way to call on some of the old people, or to see the women who seldom got to town. She was quick at understanding the grandmothers who spoke no English, and the most reticent and distrustful of them would tell her their story without realizing they were doing so. She went to country funerals and weddings in all weathers. A farmer’s daughter who was to be married could count on a wedding present from Frances Harling.

When Frances drove out to the countryside for work, she would go miles out of her way to visit some of the elderly people or to check in on the women who rarely made it to town. She had a knack for understanding the grandmothers who didn’t speak any English, and even the most reserved and distrustful of them would share their stories without even realizing it. She attended country funerals and weddings no matter the weather. A farmer’s daughter who was getting married could always count on a wedding gift from Frances Harling.

In August the Harlings’ Danish cook had[pg 172] to leave them. Grandmother entreated them to try Ántonia. She cornered Ambrosch the next time he came to town, and pointed out to him that any connection with Christian Harling would strengthen his credit and be of advantage to him. One Sunday Mrs. Harling took the long ride out to the Shimerdas’ with Frances. She said she wanted to see “what the girl came from” and to have a clear understanding with her mother. I was in our yard when they came driving home, just before sunset. They laughed and waved to me as they passed, and I could see they were in great good humor. After supper, when grandfather set off to church, grandmother and I took my short cut through the willow hedge and went over to hear about the visit to the Shimerdas.

In August, the Harlings' Danish cook had to leave them. Grandmother urged them to consider Ántonia. She confronted Ambrosch the next time he came to town and pointed out that any connection with Christian Harling would improve his credit and benefit him. One Sunday, Mrs. Harling made the long trip out to the Shimerdas' with Frances. She said she wanted to see “where the girl came from” and to have a clear understanding with her mother. I was in our yard when they drove home just before sunset. They laughed and waved to me as they passed, and I could see they were in great spirits. After dinner, when grandfather headed to church, grandmother and I took my shortcut through the willow hedge and went over to hear about the visit to the Shimerdas.

We found Mrs. Harling with Charley and Sally on the front porch, resting after her hard drive. Julia was in the hammock—she was fond of repose—and Frances was at the piano, playing without a light and talking to her mother through the open window.

We found Ms. Harling with Charley and Sally on the front porch, taking a break after her long drive. Julia was in the hammock—she loved to relax—and Frances was at the piano, playing without a light and chatting with her mom through the open window.

Mrs. Harling laughed when she saw us coming. “I expect you left your dishes on the table to-night, Mrs. Burden,” she called.[pg 173] Frances shut the piano and came out to join us.

Mrs. Harling laughed when she saw us coming. “I bet you left your dishes on the table tonight, Mrs. Burden,” she called.[pg 173] Frances closed the piano and came out to join us.

They had liked Ántonia from their first glimpse of her; felt they knew exactly what kind of girl she was. As for Mrs. Shimerda, they found her very amusing. Mrs. Harling chuckled whenever she spoke of her. “I expect I am more at home with that sort of bird than you are, Mrs. Burden. They’re a pair, Ambrosch and that old woman!”

They had liked Ántonia from the moment they saw her; they felt like they understood exactly what kind of girl she was. As for Mrs. Shimerda, they found her very entertaining. Mrs. Harling laughed every time she talked about her. “I think I'm more comfortable with that type than you are, Mrs. Burden. They're quite a duo, Ambrosch and that old woman!”

They had had a long argument with Ambrosch about Ántonia’s allowance for clothes and pocket-money. It was his plan that every cent of his sister’s wages should be paid over to him each month, and he would provide her with such clothing as he thought necessary. When Mrs. Harling told him firmly that she would keep fifty dollars a year for Ántonia’s own use, he declared they wanted to take his sister to town and dress her up and make a fool of her. Mrs. Harling gave us a lively account of Ambrosch’s behavior throughout the interview; how he kept jumping up and putting on his cap as if he were through with the whole business, and how his mother tweaked his coat-tail and prompted him in Bohemian. Mrs. Harling finally agreed[pg 174] to pay three dollars a week for Ántonia’s services—good wages in those days—and to keep her in shoes. There had been hot dispute about the shoes, Mrs. Shimerda finally saying persuasively that she would send Mrs. Harling three fat geese every year to “make even.” Ambrosch was to bring his sister to town next Saturday.

They had a long argument with Ambrosch about Ántonia’s allowance for clothes and spending money. He wanted every cent of his sister’s earnings to go to him each month, and he would buy her clothes that he deemed necessary. When Mrs. Harling firmly told him that she would set aside fifty dollars a year for Ántonia’s personal use, he claimed they wanted to take his sister to town, dress her up, and make a fool of her. Mrs. Harling shared a lively account of Ambrosch’s behavior during the meeting; how he kept jumping up and putting on his cap as if he were done with the whole discussion, and how his mother tugged at his coat-tail and prompted him in Bohemian. Mrs. Harling eventually agreed to pay three dollars a week for Ántonia’s work—good wages back then—and to provide her with shoes. There had been a heated debate about the shoes, with Mrs. Shimerda finally saying convincingly that she would send Mrs. Harling three fat geese every year to “settle up.” Ambrosch was set to bring his sister to town next Saturday.

“She’ll be awkward and rough at first, like enough,” grandmother said anxiously, “but unless she’s been spoiled by the hard life she’s led, she has it in her to be a real helpful girl.”

“She'll be a bit clumsy and rough at the start, sure,” Grandma said nervously, “but unless life has really spoiled her, she has what it takes to be a truly helpful girl.”

Mrs. Harling laughed her quick, decided laugh. “Oh, I’m not worrying, Mrs. Burden! I can bring something out of that girl. She’s barely seventeen, not too old to learn new ways. She’s good-looking, too!” she added warmly.

Mrs. Harling laughed her lively, confident laugh. “Oh, I’m not concerned, Mrs. Burden! I can bring something out of that girl. She’s just seventeen, not too old to pick up new things. She’s attractive, too!” she added warmly.

Frances turned to grandmother. “Oh, yes, Mrs. Burden, you did n’t tell us that! She was working in the garden when we got there, barefoot and ragged. But she has such fine brown legs and arms, and splendid color in her cheeks—like those big dark red plums.”

Frances turned to her grandmother. “Oh, yes, Mrs. Burden, you didn’t mention that! She was working in the garden when we arrived, barefoot and in tatters. But she has such nice brown legs and arms, and a great color in her cheeks—like those big dark red plums.”

We were pleased at this praise. Grandmother spoke feelingly. “When she first came to this country, Frances, and had that[pg 175] genteel old man to watch over her, she was as pretty a girl as ever I saw. But, dear me, what a life she’s led, out in the fields with those rough thrashers! Things would have been very different with poor Ántonia if her father had lived.”

We were happy about this praise. Grandmother spoke with emotion. “When she first came to this country, Frances, and had that [pg 175] genteel old man to look after her, she was the prettiest girl I ever saw. But, oh my, what a life she’s had, out in the fields with those rough thrashers! Things would have been so different for poor Ántonia if her father had lived.”

The Harlings begged us to tell them about Mr. Shimerda’s death and the big snowstorm. By the time we saw grandfather coming home from church we had told them pretty much all we knew of the Shimerdas.

The Harlings urged us to share the details about Mr. Shimerda’s death and the huge snowstorm. By the time we spotted grandfather returning home from church, we had shared almost everything we knew about the Shimerdas.

“The girl will be happy here, and she’ll forget those things,” said Mrs. Harling confidently, as we rose to take our leave.

“The girl will be happy here, and she'll forget those things,” said Ms. Harling confidently as we got up to leave.


[pg 176]

III

On Saturday Ambrosch drove up to the back gate, and Ántonia jumped down from the wagon and ran into our kitchen just as she used to do. She was wearing shoes and stockings, and was breathless and excited. She gave me a playful shake by the shoulders. “You ain’t forget about me, Jim?”

On Saturday, Ambrosch pulled up to the back gate, and Ántonia jumped down from the wagon and ran into our kitchen just like she used to. She was wearing shoes and stockings, breathless and excited. She playfully shook me by the shoulders. “You didn’t forget about me, Jim?”

Grandmother kissed her. “God bless you, child! Now you’ve come, you must try to do right and be a credit to us.”

Grandmother kissed her. “God bless you, child! Now that you’re here, you should try to do the right thing and make us proud.”

Ántonia looked eagerly about the house and admired everything. “Maybe I be the kind of girl you like better, now I come to town,” she suggested hopefully.

Ántonia looked around the house with excitement and admired everything. "Maybe I'm the kind of girl you like better now that I'm in town," she suggested hopefully.

How good it was to have Ántonia near us again; to see her every day and almost every night! Her greatest fault, Mrs. Harling found, was that she so often stopped her work and fell to playing with the children. She would race about the orchard with us, or take sides in our hay-fights in the barn, or be the old bear that came down from the mountain and carried off Nina. Tony learned English[pg 177] so quickly that by the time school began she could speak as well as any of us.

How great it was to have Ántonia back with us; to see her every day and almost every night! Mrs. Harling believed her biggest flaw was how often she stopped her work to play with the kids. She would run around the orchard with us, join in our hay fights in the barn, or pretend to be the old bear that came down from the mountain and took Nina away. Tony picked up English so fast that by the time school started, she could speak as well as any of us.

I was jealous of Tony’s admiration for Charley Harling. Because he was always first in his classes at school, and could mend the water-pipes or the door-bell and take the clock to pieces, she seemed to think him a sort of prince. Nothing that Charley wanted was too much trouble for her. She loved to put up lunches for him when he went hunting, to mend his ball-gloves and sew buttons on his shooting-coat, baked the kind of nut-cake he liked, and fed his setter dog when he was away on trips with his father. Ántonia had made herself cloth working-slippers out of Mr. Harling’s old coats, and in these she went padding about after Charley, fairly panting with eagerness to please him.

I was jealous of Tony’s admiration for Charley Harling. Since he was always at the top of his classes in school and could fix the water pipes or the doorbell and take the clock apart, she seemed to see him as like a prince. Nothing Charley needed was too much trouble for her. She loved to pack lunches for him when he went hunting, to fix his baseball gloves and sew buttons on his shooting jacket, baked his favorite nut cake, and took care of his setter dog when he was away on trips with his dad. Ántonia had made herself cloth slippers from Mr. Harling’s old coats, and in those, she would walk around after Charley, practically breathless with excitement to impress him.

Next to Charley, I think she loved Nina best. Nina was only six, and she was rather more complex than the other children. She was fanciful, had all sorts of unspoken preferences, and was easily offended. At the slightest disappointment or displeasure her velvety brown eyes filled with tears, and she would lift her chin and walk silently away. If we ran after her and tried to appease her, it[pg 178] did no good. She walked on unmollified. I used to think that no eyes in the world could grow so large or hold so many tears as Nina’s. Mrs. Harling and Ántonia invariably took her part. We were never given a chance to explain. The charge was simply: “You have made Nina cry. Now, Jimmy can go home, and Sally must get her arithmetic.” I liked Nina, too; she was so quaint and unexpected, and her eyes were lovely; but I often wanted to shake her.

Next to Charley, I think she loved Nina the most. Nina was only six and had a lot more depth than the other kids. She was imaginative, had all kinds of unspoken preferences, and was easily hurt. At the slightest disappointment or upset, her velvety brown eyes would fill with tears, and she’d lift her chin and walk away silently. If we went after her to try and make her feel better, it did no good. She just kept walking, still upset. I used to think no eyes in the world could get as big or hold as many tears as Nina’s. Mrs. Harling and Ántonia always took her side. We were never given a chance to explain ourselves. The accusation was simply: “You made Nina cry. Now, Jimmy can go home, and Sally needs to focus on her math.” I liked Nina, too; she was so unique and surprising, and her eyes were beautiful; but I often felt like shaking her.

We had jolly evenings at the Harlings when the father was away. If he was at home, the children had to go to bed early, or they came over to my house to play. Mr. Harling not only demanded a quiet house, he demanded all his wife’s attention. He used to take her away to their room in the west ell, and talk over his business with her all evening. Though we did not realize it then, Mrs. Harling was our audience when we played, and we always looked to her for suggestions. Nothing flattered one like her quick laugh.

We had great evenings at the Harlings when the father was away. If he was at home, the kids had to go to bed early, or they would come over to my house to play. Mr. Harling not only insisted on a quiet house, but he also demanded all of his wife’s attention. He would take her away to their room in the west ell and discuss his business with her all evening. Even though we didn’t realize it at the time, Mrs. Harling was our audience when we played, and we always looked to her for suggestions. Nothing made you feel better than her quick laugh.

Mr. Harling had a desk in his bedroom, and his own easy-chair by the window, in which no one else ever sat. On the nights when he was at home, I could see his shadow on the blind,[pg 179] and it seemed to me an arrogant shadow. Mrs. Harling paid no heed to any one else if he was there. Before he went to bed she always got him a lunch of smoked salmon or anchovies and beer. He kept an alcohol lamp in his room, and a French coffee-pot, and his wife made coffee for him at any hour of the night he happened to want it.

Mr. Harling had a desk in his bedroom and his own comfy chair by the window, which no one else ever used. On the nights he was home, I could see his shadow on the blind,[pg 179] and it seemed like an arrogant shadow. Mrs. Harling ignored everyone else when he was around. Before he went to bed, she always prepared him a late-night snack of smoked salmon or anchovies and beer. He kept an alcohol lamp in his room and a French coffee pot, and his wife would make him coffee whenever he wanted it, even at unusual hours.

Most Black Hawk fathers had no personal habits outside their domestic ones; they paid the bills, pushed the baby carriage after office hours, moved the sprinkler about over the lawn, and took the family driving on Sunday. Mr. Harling, therefore, seemed to me autocratic and imperial in his ways. He walked, talked, put on his gloves, shook hands, like a man who felt that he had power. He was not tall, but he carried his head so haughtily that he looked a commanding figure, and there was something daring and challenging in his eyes. I used to imagine that the “nobles” of whom Ántonia was always talking probably looked very much like Christian Harling, wore caped overcoats like his, and just such a glittering diamond upon the little finger.

Most Black Hawk dads didn’t have personal habits outside of their home life; they paid the bills, pushed the stroller after work, moved the sprinkler around on the lawn, and took the family out for drives on Sunday. Mr. Harling, therefore, came off as autocratic and commanding in his ways. He walked, talked, put on his gloves, and shook hands like a man who felt powerful. He wasn’t tall, but he held his head high enough to appear impressive, and there was something bold and challenging in his eyes. I used to imagine that the “nobles” Ántonia was always talking about probably looked a lot like Christian Harling, wearing caped overcoats like his, and sporting a glittering diamond on their little finger.

Except when the father was at home, the Harling house was never quiet. Mrs. Harling[pg 180] and Nina and Ántonia made as much noise as a houseful of children, and there was usually somebody at the piano. Julia was the only one who was held down to regular hours of practicing, but they all played. When Frances came home at noon, she played until dinner was ready. When Sally got back from school, she sat down in her hat and coat and drummed the plantation melodies that negro minstrel troupes brought to town. Even Nina played the Swedish Wedding March.

Except when the father was home, the Harling house was never quiet. Mrs. Harling[pg 180] and Nina and Ántonia made as much noise as a house full of kids, and there was usually someone at the piano. Julia was the only one who had to stick to regular practice hours, but they all played. When Frances came home at noon, she played until dinner was ready. When Sally got back from school, she sat down in her hat and coat and drummed the plantation tunes that Black minstrel troupes brought to town. Even Nina played the Swedish Wedding March.

Mrs. Harling had studied the piano under a good teacher, and somehow she managed to practice every day. I soon learned that if I were sent over on an errand and found Mrs. Harling at the piano, I must sit down and wait quietly until she turned to me. I can see her at this moment; her short, square person planted firmly on the stool, her little fat hands moving quickly and neatly over the keys, her eyes fixed on the music with intelligent concentration.

Mrs. Harling had taken piano lessons from a skilled teacher, and somehow she managed to practice every day. I quickly realized that if I was sent on an errand and found Ms. Harling at the piano, I needed to sit down and wait quietly until she acknowledged me. I can picture her right now; her short, stout body firmly settled on the stool, her little chubby hands moving swiftly and neatly over the keys, her eyes focused on the music with sharp concentration.


[pg 181]

IV

“I won’t have none of your weevily wheat, and I won’t have none of your barley,
But I’ll take a measure of fine white flour, to make a cake for Charley.”

We were singing rhymes to tease Ántonia while she was beating up one of Charley’s favorite cakes in her big mixing-bowl. It was a crisp autumn evening, just cold enough to make one glad to quit playing tag in the yard, and retreat into the kitchen. We had begun to roll popcorn balls with syrup when we heard a knock at the back door, and Tony dropped her spoon and went to open it. A plump, fair-skinned girl was standing in the doorway. She looked demure and pretty, and made a graceful picture in her blue cashmere dress and little blue hat, with a plaid shawl drawn neatly about her shoulders and a clumsy pocketbook in her hand.

We were singing rhymes to tease Ántonia while she was mixing one of Charley’s favorite cakes in her big bowl. It was a crisp autumn evening, just cold enough that we were happy to stop playing tag outside and head into the kitchen. We had started rolling popcorn balls with syrup when we heard a knock at the back door, and Tony put down her spoon and went to open it. A plump, fair-skinned girl was standing in the doorway. She looked shy and pretty, creating a lovely image in her blue cashmere dress and little blue hat, with a plaid shawl neatly wrapped around her shoulders and a clumsy handbag in her hand.

“Hello, Tony. Don’t you know me?” she asked in a smooth, low voice, looking in at us archly.

“Hey, Tony. Don’t you recognize me?” she asked in a smooth, low voice, looking in at us playfully.

Ántonia gasped and stepped back. “Why,[pg 182] it’s Lena! Of course I did n’t know you, so dressed up!”

Ántonia gasped and stepped back. “Wow,[pg 182] it’s Lena! I didn’t recognize you like this!”

Lena Lingard laughed, as if this pleased her. I had not recognized her for a moment, either. I had never seen her before with a hat on her head—or with shoes and stockings on her feet, for that matter. And here she was, brushed and smoothed and dressed like a town girl, smiling at us with perfect composure.

Lena Lingard laughed, as if this made her happy. I hadn't recognized her at all, either. I'd never seen her before wearing a hat—or with shoes and stockings on her feet, for that matter. And there she was, all dressed up and looking like a city girl, smiling at us with complete calmness.

“Hello, Jim,” she said carelessly as she walked into the kitchen and looked about her. “I’ve come to town to work, too, Tony.”

“Hey, Jim,” she said casually as she entered the kitchen and glanced around. “I’ve come to town to work as well, Tony.”

“Have you, now? Well, ain’t that funny!” Ántonia stood ill at ease, and did n’t seem to know just what to do with her visitor.

“Have you, really? Well, isn’t that funny!” Ántonia stood awkwardly, not quite sure what to do with her visitor.

The door was open into the dining-room, where Mrs. Harling sat crocheting and Frances was reading. Frances asked Lena to come in and join them.

The door was open into the dining room, where Ms. Harling sat crocheting and Frances was reading. Frances asked Lena to come in and join them.

“You are Lena Lingard, are n’t you? I’ve been to see your mother, but you were off herding cattle that day. Mama, this is Chris Lingard’s oldest girl.”

“You're Lena Lingard, right? I went to see your mom, but you were out herding cattle that day. Mama, this is Chris Lingard's oldest daughter.”

Mrs. Harling dropped her worsted and examined the visitor with quick, keen eyes. Lena was not at all disconcerted. She sat down in the chair Frances pointed out,[pg 183] carefully arranging her pocketbook and gray cotton gloves on her lap. We followed with our popcorn, but Ántonia hung back—said she had to get her cake into the oven.

Mrs. Harling put down her yarn and looked at the visitor with sharp, observant eyes. Lena wasn't bothered at all. She took a seat in the chair that Frances indicated, [pg 183] carefully arranging her purse and gray cotton gloves on her lap. We followed with our popcorn, but Ántonia hesitated—she said she needed to get her cake in the oven.

“So you have come to town,” said Mrs. Harling, her eyes still fixed on Lena. “Where are you working?”

“So you’ve come to town,” said Ms. Harling, her eyes still on Lena. “Where are you working?”

“For Mrs. Thomas, the dressmaker. She is going to teach me to sew. She says I have quite a knack. I’m through with the farm. There ain’t any end to the work on a farm, and always so much trouble happens. I’m going to be a dressmaker.”

“For Mrs. Thomas, the dressmaker. She’s going to teach me how to sew. She says I have a real talent for it. I’m done with the farm. There’s no end to the work on a farm, and there’s always so much trouble. I’m going to be a dressmaker.”

“Well, there have to be dressmakers. It’s a good trade. But I would n’t run down the farm, if I were you,” said Mrs. Harling rather severely. “How is your mother?”

“Well, there have to be dressmakers. It’s a good trade. But I wouldn’t put down the farm, if I were you,” said Ms. Harling rather sternly. “How’s your mom?”

“Oh, mother’s never very well; she has too much to do. She’d get away from the farm, too, if she could. She was willing for me to come. After I learn to do sewing, I can make money and help her.”

“Oh, Mom's never really well; she has too much on her plate. She’d leave the farm if she could. She encouraged me to come. Once I learn to sew, I can make money and help her.”

“See that you don’t forget to,” said Mrs. Harling skeptically, as she took up her crocheting again and sent the hook in and out with nimble fingers.

“Make sure you remember to,” said Ms. Harling skeptically, as she picked up her crocheting again and moved the hook in and out with quick fingers.

“No, ’m, I won’t,” said Lena blandly. She[pg 184] took a few grains of the popcorn we pressed upon her, eating them discreetly and taking care not to get her fingers sticky.

“No, I won’t,” said Lena flatly. She[pg 184] took a few pieces of the popcorn we offered her, eating them quietly and making sure not to get her fingers sticky.

Frances drew her chair up nearer to the visitor. “I thought you were going to be married, Lena,” she said teasingly. “Did n’t I hear that Nick Svendsen was rushing you pretty hard?”

Frances pulled her chair closer to the visitor. “I thought you were getting married, Lena,” she said playfully. “Didn’t I hear that Nick Svendsen was pursuing you pretty intensely?”

Lena looked up with her curiously innocent smile. “He did go with me quite a while. But his father made a fuss about it and said he would n’t give Nick any land if he married me, so he’s going to marry Annie Iverson. I would n’t like to be her; Nick’s awful sullen, and he’ll take it out on her. He ain’t spoke to his father since he promised.”

Lena looked up with her genuinely innocent smile. "He did hang out with me for a while. But his dad made a big deal about it and said he wouldn’t give Nick any land if he married me, so now he's going to marry Annie Iverson. I wouldn’t want to be her; Nick’s really moody, and he’ll take it out on her. He hasn’t talked to his dad since he made that promise."

Frances laughed. “And how do you feel about it?”

Frances laughed. “So, how do you feel about it?”

“I don’t want to marry Nick, or any other man,” Lena murmured. “I’ve seen a good deal of married life, and I don’t care for it. I want to be so I can help my mother and the children at home, and not have to ask lief of anybody.”

“I don’t want to marry Nick, or any other man,” Lena murmured. “I’ve seen a lot of married life, and I’m not a fan. I want to be able to support my mother and the kids at home, and not have to depend on anyone.”

“That’s right,” said Frances. “And Mrs. Thomas thinks you can learn dressmaking?”

“That’s right,” said Frances. “And Mrs. Thomas thinks you can learn dressmaking?”

“Yes, ’m. I’ve always liked to sew, but I[pg 185] never had much to do with. Mrs. Thomas makes lovely things for all the town ladies. Did you know Mrs. Gardener is having a purple velvet made? The velvet came from Omaha. My, but it’s lovely!” Lena sighed softly and stroked her cashmere folds. “Tony knows I never did like out-of-door work,” she added.

“Yes, I have. I’ve always enjoyed sewing, but I[pg 185] never did much of it. Ms. Thomas makes beautiful things for all the ladies in town. Did you hear Ms. Gardener is getting a purple velvet piece made? The velvet came from Omaha. Wow, it’s gorgeous!” Lena sighed softly and ran her fingers over her cashmere folds. “Tony knows I’ve never liked outdoor work,” she added.

Mrs. Harling glanced at her. “I expect you’ll learn to sew all right, Lena, if you’ll only keep your head and not go gadding about to dances all the time and neglect your work, the way some country girls do.”

Mrs. Harling looked at her. “I think you'll get the hang of sewing, Lena, as long as you stay focused and don’t run off to dances all the time and ignore your work like some country girls do.”

“Yes, ’m. Tiny Soderball is coming to town, too. She’s going to work at the Boys’ Home Hotel. She’ll see lots of strangers,” Lena added wistfully.

“Yes, I am. Tiny Soderball is coming to town, too. She’s going to work at the Boys’ Home Hotel. She’ll see a lot of strangers,” Lena added wistfully.

“Too many, like enough,” said Mrs. Harling. “I don’t think a hotel is a good place for a girl; though I guess Mrs. Gardener keeps an eye on her waitresses.”

“Too many, like enough,” said Ms. Harling. “I don’t think a hotel is a good place for a girl; though I guess Mrs. Gardener looks out for her waitresses.”

Lena’s candid eyes, that always looked a little sleepy under their long lashes, kept straying about the cheerful rooms with naïve admiration. Presently she drew on her cotton gloves. “I guess I must be leaving,” she said irresolutely.

Lena’s honest eyes, which always seemed a bit sleepy beneath their long lashes, wandered around the bright rooms with innocent amazement. After a moment, she put on her cotton gloves. “I guess I should be going,” she said hesitantly.

[pg 186]

Frances told her to come again, whenever she was lonesome or wanted advice about anything. Lena replied that she did n’t believe she would ever get lonesome in Black Hawk.

Frances told her to come back anytime she felt lonely or needed advice about anything. Lena replied that she didn’t think she would ever feel lonely in Black Hawk.

She lingered at the kitchen door and begged Ántonia to come and see her often. “I’ve got a room of my own at Mrs. Thomas’s, with a carpet.”

She hung around the kitchen door and asked Ántonia to come visit her often. “I have my own room at Mrs. Thomas's, with a carpet.”

Tony shuffled uneasily in her cloth slippers. “I’ll come sometime, but Mrs. Harling don’t like to have me run much,” she said evasively.

Tony shifted nervously in her fabric slippers. "I'll come by sometime, but Mrs. Harling doesn't like me to run around much," she said, avoiding the issue.

“You can do what you please when you go out, can’t you?” Lena asked in a guarded whisper. “Ain’t you crazy about town, Tony? I don’t care what anybody says, I’m done with the farm!” She glanced back over her shoulder toward the dining-room, where Mrs. Harling sat.

“You can do whatever you want when you go out, right?” Lena asked in a cautious whisper. “Aren’t you excited about the city, Tony? I don’t care what anyone says, I’m done with the farm!” She looked back over her shoulder toward the dining room, where Mrs. Harling was sitting.

When Lena was gone, Frances asked Ántonia why she had n’t been a little more cordial to her.

When Lena left, Frances asked Ántonia why she hadn’t been a bit more friendly to her.

“I did n’t know if your mother would like her coming here,” said Ántonia, looking troubled. “She was kind of talked about, out there.”

“I wasn’t sure if your mom would be okay with her coming here,” Ántonia said, looking worried. “People were saying things about her out there.”

“Yes, I know. But mother won’t hold it against her if she behaves well here. You[pg 187] need n’t say anything about that to the children. I guess Jim has heard all that gossip?”

“Yes, I know. But Mom won’t hold it against her if she behaves well here. You[pg 187] don’t need to say anything about that to the kids. I guess Jim has heard all that gossip?”

When I nodded, she pulled my hair and told me I knew too much, anyhow. We were good friends, Frances and I.

When I nodded, she tugged my hair and said I knew too much, anyway. Frances and I were good friends.

I ran home to tell grandmother that Lena Lingard had come to town. We were glad of it, for she had a hard life on the farm.

I ran home to tell Grandma that Lena Lingard had come to town. We were happy about it because she had a tough life on the farm.

Lena lived in the Norwegian settlement west of Squaw Creek, and she used to herd her father’s cattle in the open country between his place and the Shimerdas’. Whenever we rode over in that direction we saw her out among her cattle, bareheaded and barefooted, scantily dressed in tattered clothing, always knitting as she watched her herd. Before I knew Lena, I thought of her as something wild, that always lived on the prairie, because I had never seen her under a roof. Her yellow hair was burned to a ruddy thatch on her head; but her legs and arms, curiously enough, in spite of constant exposure to the sun, kept a miraculous whiteness which somehow made her seem more undressed than other girls who went scantily clad. The first time I stopped to talk to her, I was astonished at her soft voice and easy, gentle ways. The girls out [pg 188] there usually got rough and mannish after they went to herding. But Lena asked Jake and me to get off our horses and stay awhile, and behaved exactly as if she were in a house and were accustomed to having visitors. She was not embarrassed by her ragged clothes, and treated us as if we were old acquaintances. Even then I noticed the unusual color of her eyes—a shade of deep violet—and their soft, confiding expression.

Lena lived in the Norwegian settlement west of Squaw Creek, and she used to herd her dad's cattle in the open fields between his place and the Shimerdas’. Whenever we rode that way, we saw her out with her cattle, bareheaded and barefoot, dressed lightly in tattered clothes, always knitting as she watched her herd. Before I knew Lena, I thought of her as someone wild, always living on the prairie, because I had never seen her inside a house. Her yellow hair was sun-bleached to a rough texture on her head; but curiously, her legs and arms, despite being constantly exposed to the sun, retained a miraculous whiteness that somehow made her seem more undressed than other girls who wore revealing clothing. The first time I stopped to talk to her, I was surprised by her soft voice and easy, gentle manner. The girls out [pg 188] there usually became rough and tomboyish after herding. But Lena asked Jake and me to get off our horses and stay for a bit and acted as if she were in a home and was used to having guests. She wasn't embarrassed by her ragged clothes and treated us like old friends. Even then, I noticed the unusual color of her eyes—a deep violet—and their soft, trusting expression.

Chris Lingard was not a very successful farmer, and he had a large family. Lena was always knitting stockings for little brothers and sisters, and even the Norwegian women, who disapproved of her, admitted that she was a good daughter to her mother. As Tony said, she had been talked about. She was accused of making Ole Benson lose the little sense he had—and that at an age when she should still have been in pinafores.

Chris Lingard wasn’t a very successful farmer, and he had a big family. Lena was always knitting stockings for her little brothers and sisters, and even the Norwegian women, who didn’t approve of her, admitted she was a good daughter to her mom. As Tony said, she had been the topic of conversation. People said she was responsible for making Ole Benson lose the little sense he had—and that when she should still have been in a smock.

Illustration: Lena Lingard knitting stockings

Ole lived in a leaky dugout somewhere at the edge of the settlement. He was fat and lazy and discouraged, and bad luck had become a habit with him. After he had had every other kind of misfortune, his wife, “Crazy Mary,” tried to set a neighbor’s barn on fire, and was sent to the asylum at Lincoln. She was kept[pg 189] there for a few months, then escaped and walked all the way home, nearly two hundred miles, traveling by night and hiding in barns and haystacks by day. When she got back to the Norwegian settlement, her poor feet were as hard as hoofs. She promised to be good, and was allowed to stay at home—though every one realized she was as crazy as ever, and she still ran about barefooted through the snow, telling her domestic troubles to her neighbors.

Ole lived in a leaky dugout at the edge of the settlement. He was overweight, lazy, and feeling defeated, and bad luck seemed to follow him everywhere. After experiencing all sorts of misfortune, his wife, "Crazy Mary," attempted to set a neighbor's barn on fire and was sent to a mental asylum in Lincoln. She stayed there for a few months, then escaped and walked all the way home, nearly two hundred miles, traveling at night and hiding in barns and haystacks during the day. When she returned to the Norwegian settlement, her poor feet were as tough as hooves. She promised to behave, and they let her come back home—though everyone knew she was just as crazy as before, still running around barefoot in the snow and sharing her personal problems with her neighbors.

Not long after Mary came back from the asylum, I heard a young Dane, who was helping us to thrash, tell Jake and Otto that Chris Lingard’s oldest girl had put Ole Benson out of his head, until he had no more sense than his crazy wife. When Ole was cultivating his corn that summer, he used to get discouraged in the field, tie up his team, and wander off to wherever Lena Lingard was herding. There he would sit down on the draw-side and help her watch her cattle. All the settlement was talking about it. The Norwegian preacher’s wife went to Lena and told her she ought not to allow this; she begged Lena to come to church on Sundays. Lena said she had n’t a dress in the world any less ragged than the one on her back. Then the minister’s wife went[pg 190] through her old trunks and found some things she had worn before her marriage.

Not long after Mary returned from the asylum, I heard a young Dane who was helping us with the threshing tell Jake and Otto that Chris Lingard’s oldest daughter had completely occupied Ole Benson’s mind, leaving him as senseless as his crazy wife. During that summer when Ole was cultivating his corn, he frequently got discouraged in the field, would tie up his team, and wander off to wherever Lena Lingard was herding. There, he would sit down by the creek and help her watch her cattle. The whole settlement was buzzing about it. The Norwegian preacher’s wife approached Lena and told her that she shouldn't allow this to happen; she pleaded with Lena to come to church on Sundays. Lena replied that she didn't have a dress in the world that was any less ragged than the one she was wearing. Then the minister’s wife went[pg 190] through her old trunks and found some clothes she had worn before her marriage.

The next Sunday Lena appeared at church, a little late, with her hair done up neatly on her head, like a young woman, wearing shoes and stockings, and the new dress, which she had made over for herself very becomingly. The congregation stared at her. Until that morning no one—unless it were Ole—had realized how pretty she was, or that she was growing up. The swelling lines of her figure had been hidden under the shapeless rags she wore in the fields. After the last hymn had been sung, and the congregation was dismissed, Ole slipped out to the hitch-bar and lifted Lena on her horse. That, in itself, was shocking; a married man was not expected to do such things. But it was nothing to the scene that followed. Crazy Mary darted out from the group of women at the church door, and ran down the road after Lena, shouting horrible threats.

The next Sunday, Lena showed up at church a little late, with her hair neatly styled like a young woman, wearing shoes and stockings, along with a new dress that she had tailored for herself very nicely. The congregation stared at her. Until that morning, no one—except maybe Ole—had realized how pretty she was or that she was growing up. The curves of her figure had been hidden under the shapeless rags she wore in the fields. After the last hymn was sung and the congregation was dismissed, Ole slipped outside to the hitch-bar and helped Lena onto her horse. That, in itself, was shocking; a married man wasn’t expected to do things like that. But it paled in comparison to what happened next. Crazy Mary rushed out from the group of women at the church door and ran down the road after Lena, yelling terrible threats.

“Look out, you Lena Lingard, look out! I’ll come over with a corn-knife one day and trim some of that shape off you. Then you won’t sail round so fine, making eyes at the men! …”

“Watch out, Lena Lingard, watch out! I'm going to come over with a corn knife one day and cut some of that shape off you. Then you won’t strut around so confidently, flirting with the guys! …”

[pg 191]

The Norwegian women did n’t know where to look. They were formal housewives, most of them, with a severe sense of decorum. But Lena Lingard only laughed her lazy, good-natured laugh and rode on, gazing back over her shoulder at Ole’s infuriated wife.

The Norwegian women didn't know where to look. Most of them were proper housewives with a strict sense of decorum. But Lena Lingard just laughed her easygoing, cheerful laugh and kept riding, glancing back over her shoulder at Ole’s angry wife.

The time came, however, when Lena did n’t laugh. More than once Crazy Mary chased her across the prairie and round and round the Shimerdas’ cornfield. Lena never told her father; perhaps she was ashamed; perhaps she was more afraid of his anger than of the corn-knife. I was at the Shimerdas’ one afternoon when Lena came bounding through the red grass as fast as her white legs could carry her. She ran straight into the house and hid in Ántonia’s feather-bed. Mary was not far behind; she came right up to the door and made us feel how sharp her blade was, showing us very graphically just what she meant to do to Lena. Mrs. Shimerda, leaning out of the window, enjoyed the situation keenly, and was sorry when Ántonia sent Mary away, mollified by an apronful of bottle-tomatoes. Lena came out from Tony’s room behind the kitchen, very pink from the heat of the feathers, but otherwise calm. She begged[pg 192] Ántonia and me to go with her, and help get her cattle together; they were scattered and might be gorging themselves in somebody’s cornfield.

The time came when Lena didn’t laugh anymore. More than once, Crazy Mary chased her across the prairie and around the Shimerdas’ cornfield. Lena never told her father; maybe she was ashamed, or maybe she was more scared of his anger than the corn-knife. I was at the Shimerdas’ one afternoon when Lena came running through the red grass as fast as her white legs could carry her. She dashed straight into the house and hid in Ántonia’s feather-bed. Mary was not far behind; she came right up to the door and made it clear how sharp her blade was, showing us exactly what she wanted to do to Lena. Ms. Shimerda, leaning out of the window, enjoyed the situation and was disappointed when Ántonia sent Mary away, appeased by an apronful of bottle-tomatoes. Lena emerged from Tony’s room behind the kitchen, very pink from the heat of the feathers, but otherwise calm. She asked[pg 192] Ántonia and me to go with her and help gather her cattle; they were scattered and might be feasting in someone’s cornfield.

“Maybe you lose a steer and learn not to make somethings with your eyes at married men,” Mrs. Shimerda told her hectoringly.

“Maybe you lose a steer and learn not to flirt with married men,” Mrs. Shimerda told her in a scolding manner.

Lena only smiled her sleepy smile. “I never made anything to him with my eyes. I can’t help it if he hangs around, and I can’t order him off. It ain’t my prairie.”

Lena just smiled her sleepy smile. “I never communicated anything to him with my eyes. I can’t help it if he sticks around, and I can’t tell him to leave. It’s not my territory.”


[pg 193]

V

After Lena came to Black Hawk I often met her downtown, where she would be matching sewing silk or buying “findings” for Mrs. Thomas. If I happened to walk home with her, she told me all about the dresses she was helping to make, or about what she saw and heard when she was with Tiny Soderball at the hotel on Saturday nights.

After Lena came to Black Hawk, I often ran into her downtown, where she would be picking out sewing silk or buying supplies for Mrs. Thomas. If I happened to walk home with her, she would tell me all about the dresses she was helping to make or about what she saw and heard when she was with Tiny Soderball at the hotel on Saturday nights.

The Boys’ Home was the best hotel on our branch of the Burlington, and all the commercial travelers in that territory tried to get into Black Hawk for Sunday. They used to assemble in the parlor after supper on Saturday nights. Marshall Field’s man, Anson Kirkpatrick, played the piano and sang all the latest sentimental songs. After Tiny had helped the cook wash the dishes, she and Lena sat on the other side of the double doors between the parlor and the dining-room, listening to the music and giggling at the jokes and stories. Lena often said she hoped I would be a traveling man when I grew up. They had a gay life of it; nothing to do but ride about on trains all[pg 194] day and go to theaters when they were in big cities. Behind the hotel there was an old store building, where the salesmen opened their big trunks and spread out their samples on the counters. The Black Hawk merchants went to look at these things and order goods, and Mrs. Thomas, though she was “retail trade,” was permitted to see them and to “get ideas.” They were all generous, these traveling men; they gave Tiny Soderball handkerchiefs and gloves and ribbons and striped stockings, and so many bottles of perfume and cakes of scented soap that she bestowed some of them on Lena.

The Boys' Home was the best hotel on our side of the Burlington, and all the business travelers in that area tried to get to Black Hawk for Sunday. They would gather in the parlor after dinner on Saturday nights. Anson Kirkpatrick, the guy from Marshall Field's, played the piano and sang all the latest sentimental songs. After Tiny helped the cook wash the dishes, she and Lena sat on the other side of the double doors between the parlor and the dining room, listening to the music and giggling at the jokes and stories. Lena often said she hoped I would be a traveling man when I grew up. They had a great time; all they had to do was ride trains all day and go to theaters when they were in big cities. Behind the hotel, there was an old store building where the salesmen opened their big trunks and spread out their samples on the counters. The Black Hawk merchants checked out these items and placed orders, and Mrs. Thomas, even though she was in “retail trade,” was allowed to see them and “get ideas.” These traveling men were all generous; they gave Tiny Soderball handkerchiefs, gloves, ribbons, and striped stockings, along with so many bottles of perfume and cakes of scented soap that she gave some of them to Lena.

One afternoon in the week before Christmas I came upon Lena and her funny, square-headed little brother Chris, standing before the drug-store, gazing in at the wax dolls and blocks and Noah’s arks arranged in the frosty show window. The boy had come to town with a neighbor to do his Christmas shopping, for he had money of his own this year. He was only twelve, but that winter he had got the job of sweeping out the Norwegian church and making the fire in it every Sunday morning. A cold job it must have been, too!

One afternoon in the week before Christmas, I found Lena and her quirky, square-headed little brother Chris standing in front of the drugstore, staring at the wax dolls, blocks, and Noah’s arks displayed in the frosty window. The boy had come to town with a neighbor to do his Christmas shopping because he had his own money this year. He was only twelve, but that winter he had gotten a job cleaning out the Norwegian church and starting the fire every Sunday morning. It must have been a chilly job, too!

[pg 195]

We went into Duckford’s dry-goods store, and Chris unwrapped all his presents and showed them to me—something for each of the six younger than himself, even a rubber pig for the baby. Lena had given him one of Tiny Soderball’s bottles of perfume for his mother, and he thought he would get some handkerchiefs to go with it. They were cheap, and he had n’t much money left. We found a tableful of handkerchiefs spread out for view at Duckford’s. Chris wanted those with initial letters in the corner, because he had never seen any before. He studied them seriously, while Lena looked over his shoulder, telling him she thought the red letters would hold their color best. He seemed so perplexed that I thought perhaps he had n’t enough money, after all. Presently he said gravely,—

We walked into Duckford’s dry-goods store, and Chris opened all his presents and showed them to me—something for each of the six kids younger than him, even a rubber pig for the baby. Lena had given him one of Tiny Soderball’s bottles of perfume for his mom, and he thought he would buy some handkerchiefs to go with it. They were inexpensive, and he didn’t have much money left. We found a table full of handkerchiefs displayed at Duckford’s. Chris wanted the ones with initials in the corner because he had never seen any before. He looked at them seriously while Lena peered over his shoulder, telling him she thought the red letters would last the longest. He seemed so confused that I wondered if he didn’t have enough money after all. After a moment, he said seriously,—

“Sister, you know mother’s name is Berthe. I don’t know if I ought to get B for Berthe, or M for Mother.”

“Sister, you know Mom’s name is Berthe. I’m not sure if I should get a B for Berthe or an M for Mom.”

Lena patted his bristly head. “I’d get the B, Chrissy. It will please her for you to think about her name. Nobody ever calls her by it now.”

Lena patted his rough head. “I’d go with B, Chrissy. It’ll make her happy that you’re thinking about her name. No one calls her that anymore.”

That satisfied him. His face cleared at once, and he took three reds and three blues. When[pg 196] the neighbor came in to say that it was time to start, Lena wound Chris’s comforter about his neck and turned up his jacket collar—he had no overcoat—and we watched him climb into the wagon and start on his long, cold drive. As we walked together up the windy street, Lena wiped her eyes with the back of her woolen glove. “I get awful homesick for them, all the same,” she murmured, as if she were answering some remembered reproach.

That made him happy. His expression brightened immediately, and he grabbed three red ones and three blue ones. When[pg 196] the neighbor walked in to say it was time to leave, Lena wrapped Chris’s comforter around his neck and turned up the collar of his jacket—since he didn’t have an overcoat—and we watched him climb into the wagon to start his long, cold journey. As we walked together up the windy street, Lena wiped her eyes with the back of her wool glove. “I still get really homesick for them,” she murmured, as if she were responding to some past criticism.


[pg 197]

VI

Winter comes down savagely over a little town on the prairie. The wind that sweeps in from the open country strips away all the leafy screens that hide one yard from another in summer, and the houses seem to draw closer together. The roofs, that looked so far away across the green tree-tops, now stare you in the face, and they are so much uglier than when their angles were softened by vines and shrubs.

Winter descends harshly on a small town in the prairie. The wind that blows in from the open fields removes all the leafy barriers that separate yards during summer, making the houses appear to huddle closer together. The roofs, which seemed distant over the green treetops, now loom right in front of you, and they look much uglier than when their angles were softened by vines and bushes.

In the morning, when I was fighting my way to school against the wind, I could n’t see anything but the road in front of me; but in the late afternoon, when I was coming home, the town looked bleak and desolate to me. The pale, cold light of the winter sunset did not beautify—it was like the light of truth itself. When the smoky clouds hung low in the west and the red sun went down behind them, leaving a pink flush on the snowy roofs and the blue drifts, then the wind sprang up afresh, with a kind of bitter song, as if it said: “This is reality, whether you like it or not. All those frivolities of summer, the light and shadow,[pg 198] the living mask of green that trembled over everything, they were lies, and this is what was underneath. This is the truth.” It was as if we were being punished for loving the loveliness of summer.

In the morning, as I struggled to get to school against the wind, I could only see the road in front of me; but in the late afternoon, when I was heading home, the town felt bleak and empty to me. The pale, cold light of the winter sunset didn’t make things look better—it was like the light of truth itself. When the smoky clouds hung low in the west and the red sun set behind them, leaving a pink glow on the snowy roofs and the blue drifts, the wind picked up again, carrying a kind of bitter song, as if it was saying: “This is reality, whether you want it or not. All those summer distractions, the light and shadows, the lively green cover that shimmered over everything, were lies, and this is what’s really here. This is the truth.” It felt like we were being punished for enjoying the beauty of summer.

If I loitered on the playground after school, or went to the post-office for the mail and lingered to hear the gossip about the cigar-stand, it would be growing dark by the time I came home. The sun was gone; the frozen streets stretched long and blue before me; the lights were shining pale in kitchen windows, and I could smell the suppers cooking as I passed. Few people were abroad, and each one of them was hurrying toward a fire. The glowing stoves in the houses were like magnets. When one passed an old man, one could see nothing of his face but a red nose sticking out between a frosted beard and a long plush cap. The young men capered along with their hands in their pockets, and sometimes tried a slide on the icy sidewalk. The children, in their bright hoods and comforters, never walked, but always ran from the moment they left their door, beating their mittens against their sides. When I got as far as the Methodist Church, I was about halfway home. I can remember how[pg 199] glad I was when there happened to be a light in the church, and the painted glass window shone out at us as we came along the frozen street. In the winter bleakness a hunger for color came over people, like the Laplander’s craving for fats and sugar. Without knowing why, we used to linger on the sidewalk outside the church when the lamps were lighted early for choir practice or prayer-meeting, shivering and talking until our feet were like lumps of ice. The crude reds and greens and blues of that colored glass held us there.

If I hung out on the playground after school or went to the post office for the mail and stayed to catch the gossip about the cigar stand, it would be getting dark by the time I got home. The sun was down; the icy streets stretched long and blue in front of me; the lights were dimly shining in kitchen windows, and I could smell dinner cooking as I passed by. There weren’t many people out, and each one was rushing towards the warmth of their homes. The glowing stoves inside felt like magnets. When you passed an old man, you could see nothing of his face except a red nose peeking out from his frosty beard and a long plush cap. The young men strutted along with their hands in their pockets, sometimes trying to slide on the icy sidewalk. The kids, in their bright hoods and scarves, never walked but always ran as soon as they left their house, thumping their mittens against their sides. When I reached the Methodist Church, I was about halfway home. I can remember how[pg 199] glad I felt when there happened to be a light on in the church, and the stained glass window shone out at us as we walked along the frozen street. In the winter's chill, a craving for color swept over people, like the Laplander’s desire for fats and sugar. Without even realizing it, we would linger on the sidewalk outside the church when the lamps were lit early for choir practice or prayer meeting, shivering and chatting until our feet felt like blocks of ice. The bold reds, greens, and blues of that colored glass kept us there.

On winter nights, the lights in the Harlings’ windows drew me like the painted glass. Inside that warm, roomy house there was color, too. After supper I used to catch up my cap, stick my hands in my pockets, and dive through the willow hedge as if witches were after me. Of course, if Mr. Harling was at home, if his shadow stood out on the blind of the west room, I did not go in, but turned and walked home by the long way, through the street, wondering what book I should read as I sat down with the two old people.

On winter nights, the lights in the Harlings’ windows pulled me in like stained glass. Inside that warm, spacious house, there was color too. After dinner, I would grab my hat, shove my hands in my pockets, and dash through the willow hedge as if witches were chasing me. Of course, if Mr. Harling was home, and his shadow was visible on the blind of the west room, I wouldn’t go in. Instead, I would take the long way home through the street, wondering what book I should read when I sat down with the two old people.

Such disappointments only gave greater zest to the nights when we acted charades, or had a costume ball in the back parlor, with[pg 200] Sally always dressed like a boy. Frances taught us to dance that winter, and she said, from the first lesson, that Ántonia would make the best dancer among us. On Saturday nights, Mrs. Harling used to play the old operas for us,—“Martha,” “Norma,” “Rigoletto,”—telling us the story while she played. Every Saturday night was like a party. The parlor, the back parlor, and the dining-room were warm and brightly lighted, with comfortable chairs and sofas, and gay pictures on the walls. One always felt at ease there. Ántonia brought her sewing and sat with us—she was already beginning to make pretty clothes for herself. After the long winter evenings on the prairie, with Ambrosch’s sullen silences and her mother’s complaints, the Harlings’ house seemed, as she said, “like Heaven” to her. She was never too tired to make taffy or chocolate cookies for us. If Sally whispered in her ear, or Charley gave her three winks, Tony would rush into the kitchen and build a fire in the range on which she had already cooked three meals that day.

Such disappointments only made the nights when we played charades or had a costume ball in the back parlor even more exciting. Sally always dressed like a boy. Frances taught us to dance that winter, and from the very first lesson, she said that Ántonia would be the best dancer among us. On Saturday nights, Mrs. Harling used to play the old operas for us—“Martha,” “Norma,” “Rigoletto”—telling us the stories while she played. Every Saturday night felt like a party. The parlor, back parlor, and dining room were warm and brightly lit, filled with comfortable chairs and sofas, and cheerful pictures on the walls. You always felt at home there. Ántonia would bring her sewing and sit with us—she was already starting to make pretty clothes for herself. After the long winter evenings on the prairie, with Ambrosch’s sullen silences and her mother’s complaints, the Harlings’ house felt, as she said, “like Heaven” to her. She was never too tired to make taffy or chocolate cookies for us. If Sally whispered in her ear, or Charley winked at her three times, Tony would rush into the kitchen and start a fire in the stove where she had already cooked three meals that day.

While we sat in the kitchen waiting for the cookies to bake or the taffy to cool, Nina used to coax Ántonia to tell her stories—about the[pg 201] calf that broke its leg, or how Yulka saved her little turkeys from drowning in the freshet, or about old Christmases and weddings in Bohemia. Nina interpreted the stories about the crêche fancifully, and in spite of our derision she cherished a belief that Christ was born in Bohemia a short time before the Shimerdas left that country. We all liked Tony’s stories. Her voice had a peculiarly engaging quality; it was deep, a little husky, and one always heard the breath vibrating behind it. Everything she said seemed to come right out of her heart.

While we sat in the kitchen waiting for the cookies to bake or the taffy to cool, Nina would encourage Ántonia to share stories—about the calf that broke its leg, how Yulka saved her little turkeys from drowning in the flood, or old Christmases and weddings in Bohemia. Nina expressed the stories about the nativity in a whimsical way, and despite our teasing, she held onto the belief that Christ was born in Bohemia shortly before the Shimerdas left that country. We all enjoyed Tony’s stories. Her voice had a uniquely captivating quality; it was deep, slightly husky, and you could always hear the breath vibrating behind it. Everything she said felt like it came straight from her heart.

One evening when we were picking out kernels for walnut taffy, Tony told us a new story.

One evening while we were selecting kernels for walnut taffy, Tony shared a new story with us.

Mrs. Harling, did you ever hear about what happened up in the Norwegian settlement last summer, when I was thrashing there? We were at Iversons’, and I was driving one of the grain wagons.”

“Mrs. Harling, did you ever hear about what happened in the Norwegian settlement last summer when I was working there? We were at Iversons’, and I was driving one of the grain wagons.”

Mrs. Harling came out and sat down among us. “Could you throw the wheat into the bin yourself, Tony?” She knew what heavy work it was.

Ms. Harling came out and sat down with us. “Could you throw the wheat into the bin by yourself, Tony?” She understood how tough that job was.

“Yes, mam, I did. I could shovel just as fast as that fat Andern boy that drove the other[pg 202] wagon. One day it was just awful hot. When we got back to the field from dinner, we took things kind of easy. The men put in the horses and got the machine going, and Ole Iverson was up on the deck, cutting bands. I was sitting against a straw stack, trying to get some shade. My wagon was n’t going out first, and somehow I felt the heat awful that day. The sun was so hot like it was going to burn the world up. After a while I see a man coming across the stubble, and when he got close I see it was a tramp. His toes stuck out of his shoes, and he had n’t shaved for a long while, and his eyes was awful red and wild, like he had some sickness. He comes right up and begins to talk like he knows me already. He says: ‘The ponds in this country is done got so low a man could n’t drownd himself in one of ’em.’

“Yes, ma’am, I did. I could shovel just as fast as that heavyset Andern kid who drove the other[pg 202] wagon. One day it was really hot. When we got back to the field after lunch, we took it kind of easy. The guys put in the horses and started the machine, and Ole Iverson was up on the deck, cutting bands. I was sitting against a straw stack, trying to find some shade. My wagon wasn’t going out first, and for some reason, I felt the heat really bad that day. The sun was blazing like it was about to burn the world up. After a while, I saw a man coming across the stubble, and when he got closer, I realized it was a drifter. His toes poked out of his shoes, and he hadn’t shaved in a while, and his eyes were really red and wild, like he had some kind of illness. He walked right up and started talking as if he knew me already. He said, ‘The ponds in this area have gotten so low a guy couldn’t drown himself in one of them.’”

“I told him nobody wanted to drownd themselves, but if we did n’t have rain soon we’d have to pump water for the cattle.

“I told him nobody wanted to drown themselves, but if we didn’t get rain soon, we’d have to pump water for the cattle.

“‘Oh, cattle,’ he says, ‘you’ll all take care of your cattle! Ain’t you got no beer here?’ I told him he’d have to go to the Bohemians for beer; the Norwegians did n’t have none when they thrashed. ‘My God!’ he says, ‘so[pg 203] it’s Norwegians now, is it? I thought this was Americy.’

“‘Oh, cattle,’ he says, ‘you all take care of your cattle! Don’t you have any beer here?’ I told him he’d have to go to the Bohemians for beer; the Norwegians didn’t have any when they were threshing. ‘My God!’ he says, ‘so it’s Norwegians now, huh? I thought this was America.’”

“Then he goes up to the machine and yells out to Ole Iverson, ‘Hello, partner, let me up there. I can cut bands, and I’m tired of trampin’. I won’t go no farther.’

“Then he approaches the machine and shouts to Ole Iverson, ‘Hey, partner, let me up there. I can cut bands, and I’m tired of wandering. I won’t go any further.’”

“I tried to make signs to Ole, ’cause I thought that man was crazy and might get the machine stopped up. But Ole, he was glad to get down out of the sun and chaff—it gets down your neck and sticks to you something awful when it’s hot like that. So Ole jumped down and crawled under one of the wagons for shade, and the tramp got on the machine. He cut bands all right for a few minutes, and then, Mrs. Harling, he waved his hand to me and jumped head-first right into the thrashing machine after the wheat.

“I tried to signal Ole because I thought that guy was crazy and might jam the machine. But Ole was just happy to get out of the sun and away from the chaff—it gets down your neck and sticks to you really badly when it’s hot like that. So Ole jumped down and crawled under one of the wagons for some shade, and the drifter got on the machine. He cut bands like he was supposed to for a few minutes, and then, Mrs. Harling, he waved his hand at me and jumped head-first right into the thrashing machine after the wheat.

“I begun to scream, and the men run to stop the horses, but the belt had sucked him down, and by the time they got her stopped he was all beat and cut to pieces. He was wedged in so tight it was a hard job to get him out, and the machine ain’t never worked right since.”

“I started to scream, and the men rushed to stop the horses, but the belt had pulled him down, and by the time they managed to stop her, he was all battered and cut up. He was wedged in so tight it was really difficult to get him out, and the machine has never worked properly since.”

“Was he clear dead, Tony?” we cried.

“Was he really dead, Tony?” we yelled.

“Was he dead? Well, I guess so! There,[pg 204] now, Nina’s all upset. We won’t talk about it. Don’t you cry, Nina. No old tramp won’t get you while Tony’s here.”

“Was he dead? I guess so! There,[pg 204] now, Nina’s really upset. We won’t discuss it. Don’t cry, Nina. No old bum is going to get to you while Tony’s around.”

Mrs. Harling spoke up sternly. “Stop crying, Nina, or I’ll always send you upstairs when Ántonia tells us about the country. Did they never find out where he came from, Ántonia?”

Mrs. Harling said firmly, “Stop crying, Nina, or I’ll just send you upstairs whenever Ántonia tells us about the country. Did they ever find out where he came from, Ántonia?”

“Never, mam. He had n’t been seen nowhere except in a little town they call Conway. He tried to get beer there, but there was n’t any saloon. Maybe he came in on a freight, but the brakeman had n’t seen him. They could n’t find no letters nor nothing on him; nothing but an old penknife in his pocket and the wishbone of a chicken wrapped up in a piece of paper, and some poetry.”

“Never, ma'am. He hasn't been seen anywhere except in a small town they call Conway. He tried to get beer there, but there wasn’t any bar. Maybe he came in on a freight train, but the brakeman didn’t see him. They couldn’t find any letters or anything on him; nothing but an old penknife in his pocket, the wishbone of a chicken wrapped in a piece of paper, and some poetry.”

“Some poetry?” we exclaimed.

“Some poetry?” we said.

“I remember,” said Frances. “It was ‘The Old Oaken Bucket,’ cut out of a newspaper and nearly worn out. Ole Iverson brought it into the office and showed it to me.”

“I remember,” said Frances. “It was ‘The Old Oaken Bucket,’ cut out of a newspaper and almost worn out. Ole Iverson brought it into the office and showed it to me.”

“Now, was n’t that strange, Miss Frances?” Tony asked thoughtfully. “What would anybody want to kill themselves in summer for? In thrashing time, too! It’s nice everywhere then.”

“Now, wasn’t that strange, Miss Frances?” Tony asked thoughtfully. “Why would anyone want to take their own life in the summer? Especially during harvest time! It’s beautiful everywhere then.”

[pg 205]

“So it is, Ántonia,” said Mrs. Harling heartily. “Maybe I’ll go home and help you thrash next summer. Is n’t that taffy nearly ready to eat? I’ve been smelling it a long while.”

“So it is, Ántonia,” Mrs. Harling said warmly. “Maybe I’ll go home and help you with the threshing next summer. Isn’t that taffy almost ready to eat? I’ve been smelling it for quite a while.”

There was a basic harmony between Ántonia and her mistress. They had strong, independent natures, both of them. They knew what they liked, and were not always trying to imitate other people. They loved children and animals and music, and rough play and digging in the earth. They liked to prepare rich, hearty food and to see people eat it; to make up soft white beds and to see youngsters asleep in them. They ridiculed conceited people and were quick to help unfortunate ones. Deep down in each of them there was a kind of hearty joviality, a relish of life, not over-delicate, but very invigorating. I never tried to define it, but I was distinctly conscious of it. I could not imagine Ántonia’s living for a week in any other house in Black Hawk than the Harlings’.

There was a natural bond between Ántonia and her boss. Both had strong, independent personalities. They knew what they enjoyed and didn’t feel the need to copy others. They loved kids, animals, music, roughhousing, and digging in the dirt. They liked to cook rich, hearty meals and watch people enjoy them; to make cozy, welcoming beds and see kids sleeping in them. They laughed at arrogant people and were always quick to help those in need. Deep down in each of them was a kind of joyful spirit, a love for life that was not overly delicate but very refreshing. I never tried to put it into words, but I was clearly aware of it. I couldn’t picture Ántonia living anywhere in Black Hawk other than the Harlings’.


[pg 206]

VII

Winter lies too long in country towns; hangs on until it is stale and shabby, old and sullen. On the farm the weather was the great fact, and men’s affairs went on underneath it, as the streams creep under the ice. But in Black Hawk the scene of human life was spread out shrunken and pinched, frozen down to the bare stalk.

Winter lingers too long in rural towns; it drags on until it feels stale and worn, old and gloomy. On the farm, the weather was the main concern, while people's lives continued beneath it, like streams running under the ice. But in Black Hawk, the landscape of human life was laid out, shriveled and constricted, frozen down to the bare stem.

Through January and February I went to the river with the Harlings on clear nights, and we skated up to the big island and made bonfires on the frozen sand. But by March the ice was rough and choppy, and the snow on the river bluffs was gray and mournful-looking. I was tired of school, tired of winter clothes, of the rutted streets, of the dirty drifts and the piles of cinders that had lain in the yards so long. There was only one break in the dreary monotony of that month; when Blind d’Arnault, the negro pianist, came to town. He gave a concert at the Opera House on Monday night, and he and his manager spent Saturday and Sunday at our comfortable hotel. Mrs.[pg 207] Harling had known d’Arnault for years. She told Ántonia she had better go to see Tiny that Saturday evening, as there would certainly be music at the Boys’ Home.

Throughout January and February, I went to the river with the Harlings on clear nights, skating up to the big island and building bonfires on the frozen sand. But by March, the ice was rough and choppy, and the snow on the river bluffs looked gray and gloomy. I was tired of school, tired of winter clothes, sick of the rutted streets, and fed up with the dirty drifts and piles of cinders that had been sitting in the yards for so long. There was only one break in the dreary monotony of that month: when Blind d’Arnault, the Black pianist, came to town. He gave a concert at the Opera House on Monday night, and he and his manager stayed at our nice hotel over the weekend. Mrs. Harling had known d’Arnault for years. She told Ántonia she should go see Tiny that Saturday evening since there would definitely be music at the Boys’ Home.

Saturday night after supper I ran downtown to the hotel and slipped quietly into the parlor. The chairs and sofas were already occupied, and the air smelled pleasantly of cigar smoke. The parlor had once been two rooms, and the floor was sway-backed where the partition had been cut away. The wind from without made waves in the long carpet. A coal stove glowed at either end of the room, and the grand piano in the middle stood open.

Saturday night after dinner, I headed downtown to the hotel and quietly entered the parlor. The chairs and sofas were already taken, and the air had a nice scent of cigar smoke. The parlor used to be two rooms, and the floor sagged where the wall had been removed. The wind from outside created ripples in the long carpet. A coal stove glowed at both ends of the room, and the grand piano in the center was open.

There was an atmosphere of unusual freedom about the house that night, for Mrs. Gardener had gone to Omaha for a week. Johnnie had been having drinks with the guests until he was rather absent-minded. It was Mrs. Gardener who ran the business and looked after everything. Her husband stood at the desk and welcomed incoming travelers. He was a popular fellow, but no manager.

There was a vibe of unusual freedom in the house that night because Mrs. Gardener had gone to Omaha for a week. Johnnie had been drinking with the guests until he was a bit spaced out. It was Mrs. Gardener who handled the business and took care of everything. Her husband stood at the desk, greeting arriving guests. He was a likable guy, but not much of a manager.

Mrs. Gardener was admittedly the best-dressed woman in Black Hawk, drove the best horse, and had a smart trap and a little white-and-gold sleigh. She seemed indifferent to her[pg 208] possessions, was not half so solicitous about them as her friends were. She was tall, dark, severe, with something Indian-like in the rigid immobility of her face. Her manner was cold, and she talked little. Guests felt that they were receiving, not conferring, a favor when they stayed at her house. Even the smartest traveling men were flattered when Mrs. Gardener stopped to chat with them for a moment. The patrons of the hotel were divided into two classes; those who had seen Mrs. Gardener’s diamonds, and those who had not.

Ms. Gardener was definitely the best-dressed woman in Black Hawk. She had the best horse and owned a stylish carriage along with a little white-and-gold sleigh. She seemed indifferent to her[pg 208] possessions and didn't worry about them as much as her friends did. She was tall, dark, and stern, with an almost Indian-like rigidity in her expression. Her demeanor was cold, and she didn't talk much. Guests at her home felt like they were receiving a favor rather than giving one. Even the most sophisticated travelers felt honored when Mrs. Gardener took a moment to chat with them. The hotel patrons were split into two groups: those who had seen Ms. Gardener’s diamonds and those who hadn't.

When I stole into the parlor Anson Kirkpatrick, Marshall Field’s man, was at the piano, playing airs from a musical comedy then running in Chicago. He was a dapper little Irishman, very vain, homely as a monkey, with friends everywhere, and a sweetheart in every port, like a sailor. I did not know all the men who were sitting about, but I recognized a furniture salesman from Kansas City, a drug man, and Willy O’Reilly, who traveled for a jewelry house and sold musical instruments. The talk was all about good and bad hotels, actors and actresses and musical prodigies. I learned that Mrs. Gardener had gone to Omaha to hear Booth and Barrett, who[pg 209] were to play there next week, and that Mary Anderson was having a great success in “A Winter’s Tale,” in London.

When I quietly entered the parlor, Anson Kirkpatrick, a guy from Marshall Field’s, was at the piano, playing songs from a musical comedy currently showing in Chicago. He was a stylish little Irishman, quite vain, not exactly handsome, with friends everywhere and a crush in every port, like a sailor. I didn’t know all the guys lounging around, but I recognized a furniture salesman from Kansas City, a drug salesman, and Willy O’Reilly, who worked for a jewelry company and sold musical instruments. The conversation revolved around good and bad hotels, actors and actresses, and musical talents. I found out that Mrs. Gardener had gone to Omaha to see Booth and Barrett, who[pg 209] were set to perform there next week, and that Mary Anderson was having a huge success in “A Winter’s Tale” in London.

The door from the office opened, and Johnnie Gardener came in, directing Blind d’Arnault,—he would never consent to be led. He was a heavy, bulky mulatto, on short legs, and he came tapping the floor in front of him with his gold-headed cane. His yellow face was lifted in the light, with a show of white teeth, all grinning, and his shrunken, papery eyelids lay motionless over his blind eyes.

The office door opened, and Johnnie Gardener walked in, guiding Blind d’Arnault—he would never agree to be led. He was a big, heavyset man of mixed race, with short legs, and he tapped the floor in front of him with his gold-headed cane. His yellow face was raised to the light, revealing a grin with white teeth, while his shrunken, papery eyelids rested still over his blind eyes.

“Good evening, gentlemen. No ladies here? Good-evening, gentlemen. We going to have a little music? Some of you gentlemen going to play for me this evening?” It was the soft, amiable negro voice, like those I remembered from early childhood, with the note of docile subservience in it. He had the negro head, too; almost no head at all; nothing behind the ears but folds of neck under close-clipped wool. He would have been repulsive if his face had not been so kindly and happy. It was the happiest face I had seen since I left Virginia.

“Good evening, gentlemen. No ladies here? Good evening, gentlemen. Are we going to have a little music? Some of you gentlemen going to play for me this evening?” It was the soft, friendly African American voice, like those I remembered from childhood, with a tone of gentle submission in it. He had the African American features as well; almost no forehead at all; just folds of neck under closely cropped hair. He would have been unattractive if his face hadn’t been so warm and cheerful. It was the happiest face I had seen since I left Virginia.

He felt his way directly to the piano. The moment he sat down, I noticed the nervous infirmity of which Mrs. Harling had told me.[pg 210] When he was sitting, or standing still, he swayed back and forth incessantly, like a rocking toy. At the piano, he swayed in time to the music, and when he was not playing, his body kept up this motion, like an empty mill grinding on. He found the pedals and tried them, ran his yellow hands up and down the keys a few times, tinkling off scales, then turned to the company.

He navigated his way straight to the piano. As soon as he sat down, I noticed the nervous instability that Mrs. Harling had mentioned to me. When he was sitting or standing still, he rocked back and forth constantly, like a toy on a string. At the piano, he swung in rhythm with the music, and even when he wasn’t playing, his body continued this motion, like an empty mill still grinding away. He found the pedals and experimented with them, ran his pale hands up and down the keys a few times, playing some scales, then turned to the group.

“She seems all right, gentlemen. Nothing happened to her since the last time I was here. Mrs. Gardener, she always has this piano tuned up before I come. Now, gentlemen, I expect you’ve all got grand voices. Seems like we might have some good old plantation songs to-night.”

“She seems fine, gentlemen. Nothing has happened to her since the last time I was here. Ms. Gardener always gets this piano tuned before I arrive. Now, gentlemen, I expect you all have amazing voices. It looks like we might enjoy some good old plantation songs tonight.”

The men gathered round him, as he began to play “My Old Kentucky Home.” They sang one negro melody after another, while the mulatto sat rocking himself, his head thrown back, his yellow face lifted, its shriveled eyelids never fluttering.

The men gathered around him as he started to play "My Old Kentucky Home." They sang one Black song after another, while the mixed-race man sat rocking himself, his head thrown back, his light-colored face lifted, his shriveled eyelids never blinking.

He was born in the Far South, on the d’Arnault plantation, where the spirit if not the fact of slavery persisted. When he was three weeks old he had an illness which left him totally blind. As soon as he was old enough[pg 211] to sit up alone and toddle about, another affliction, the nervous motion of his body, became apparent. His mother, a buxom young negro wench who was laundress for the d’Arnaults, concluded that her blind baby was “not right” in his head, and she was ashamed of him. She loved him devotedly, but he was so ugly, with his sunken eyes and his “fidgets,” that she hid him away from people. All the dainties she brought down from the “Big House” were for the blind child, and she beat and cuffed her other children whenever she found them teasing him or trying to get his chicken-bone away from him. He began to talk early, remembered everything he heard, and his mammy said he “was n’t all wrong.” She named him Samson, because he was blind, but on the plantation he was known as “yellow Martha’s simple child.” He was docile and obedient, but when he was six years old he began to run away from home, always taking the same direction. He felt his way through the lilacs, along the boxwood hedge, up to the south wing of the “Big House,” where Miss Nellie d’Arnault practiced the piano every morning. This angered his mother more than anything else he could have done; she was so[pg 212] ashamed of his ugliness that she could n’t bear to have white folks see him. Whenever she caught him slipping away from the cabin, she whipped him unmercifully, and told him what dreadful things old Mr. d’Arnault would do to him if he ever found him near the “Big House.” But the next time Samson had a chance, he ran away again. If Miss d’Arnault stopped practicing for a moment and went toward the window, she saw this hideous little pickaninny, dressed in an old piece of sacking, standing in the open space between the hollyhock rows, his body rocking automatically, his blind face lifted to the sun and wearing an expression of idiotic rapture. Often she was tempted to tell Martha that the child must be kept at home, but somehow the memory of his foolish, happy face deterred her. She remembered that his sense of hearing was nearly all he had,—though it did not occur to her that he might have more of it than other children.

He was born in the Deep South, on the d’Arnault plantation, where the spirit, if not the reality, of slavery lingered. When he was three weeks old, he became seriously ill, which left him completely blind. As soon as he was able to sit up and take a few steps, another issue emerged: the nervous movements of his body. His mother, a robust young Black woman who worked as a laundress for the d’Arnaults, believed her blind baby wasn’t quite right in the head, and she felt ashamed of him. She loved him deeply, but his sunken eyes and twitching movements made him so unattractive that she kept him hidden from others. All the treats she brought from the “Big House” were for her blind child, and she would punish her other kids if she found them teasing him or trying to take his chicken bone. He started talking early, remembered everything he heard, and his mom said he “wasn’t all wrong.” She named him Samson because he was blind, but on the plantation, he was known as “yellow Martha’s simple child.” He was well-behaved and obedient, but by the time he turned six, he began running away from home, always heading in the same direction. He made his way through the lilacs, along the boxwood hedge, up to the south wing of the “Big House,” where Miss Nellie d’Arnault practiced the piano every morning. This infuriated his mother more than anything else he could do; she was so ashamed of his appearance that she couldn’t stand the thought of white people seeing him. Whenever she caught him sneaking away from their cabin, she punished him harshly, warning him of the terrible things old Mr. d’Arnault would do to him if he ever found him near the “Big House.” But the next time Samson got the chance, he ran away again. If Miss d’Arnault paused her practice and looked out the window, she would see this ugly little boy, dressed in a ragged piece of fabric, standing in the open area between the hollyhocks, his body rocking back and forth, his blind face turned toward the sun, wearing a look of blissful ignorance. Often, she thought about telling Martha that the child needed to stay at home, but somehow, the memory of his silly, happy face held her back. She recalled that his sense of hearing was nearly all he had, though it never occurred to her that he might have more of it than other kids.

One day Samson was standing thus while Miss Nellie was playing her lesson to her music-master. The windows were open. He heard them get up from the piano, talk a little while, and then leave the room. He heard the[pg 213] door close after them. He crept up to the front windows and stuck his head in: there was no one there. He could always detect the presence of any one in a room. He put one foot over the window sill and straddled it. His mother had told him over and over how his master would give him to the big mastiff if he ever found him “meddling.” Samson had got too near the mastiff’s kennel once, and had felt his terrible breath in his face. He thought about that, but he pulled in his other foot.

One day, Samson was standing there while Miss Nellie was playing her lesson for her music teacher. The windows were open. He heard them get up from the piano, chat for a bit, and then leave the room. He heard the door close behind them. He sneaked up to the front windows and peeked in: there was nobody inside. He could always sense when someone was in a room. He swung one foot over the window sill and straddled it. His mom had warned him repeatedly that his teacher would hand him over to the big mastiff if he ever got caught “meddling.” Samson had gotten too close to the mastiff’s kennel once and had felt its awful breath in his face. He thought about that, but he pulled his other foot in.

Through the dark he found his way to the Thing, to its mouth. He touched it softly, and it answered softly, kindly. He shivered and stood still. Then he began to feel it all over, ran his finger tips along the slippery sides, embraced the carved legs, tried to get some conception of its shape and size, of the space it occupied in primeval night. It was cold and hard, and like nothing else in his black universe. He went back to its mouth, began at one end of the keyboard and felt his way down into the mellow thunder, as far as he could go. He seemed to know that it must be done with the fingers, not with the fists or the feet. He approached this highly artificial instrument[pg 214] through a mere instinct, and coupled himself to it, as if he knew it was to piece him out and make a whole creature of him. After he had tried over all the sounds, he began to finger out passages from things Miss Nellie had been practicing, passages that were already his, that lay under the bones of his pinched, conical little skull, definite as animal desires. The door opened; Miss Nellie and her music-master stood behind it, but blind Samson, who was so sensitive to presences, did not know they were there. He was feeling out the pattern that lay all ready-made on the big and little keys. When he paused for a moment, because the sound was wrong and he wanted another, Miss Nellie spoke softly. He whirled about in a spasm of terror, leaped forward in the dark, struck his head on the open window, and fell screaming and bleeding to the floor. He had what his mother called a fit. The doctor came and gave him opium.

Through the darkness, he made his way to the Thing and its mouth. He touched it gently, and it responded softly, kindly. He shivered and stood still. Then he started to feel it all over, running his fingertips along the slippery sides, embracing the carved legs, trying to understand its shape and size, the space it took up in the primordial night. It was cold and hard, unlike anything else in his dark universe. He returned to its mouth, began at one end of the keyboard, and felt his way down into the warm thunder, as far as he could reach. He seemed to know it should be played with fingers, not fists or feet. He approached this highly artificial instrument[pg 214] through pure instinct, connecting with it as if he understood it would help complete him. After trying all the sounds, he began to play passages from things Miss Nellie had been practicing, passages that felt familiar, tucked away in the bones of his small, conical skull, as clear as basic animal desires. The door opened; Miss Nellie and her music teacher stood behind it, but blind Samson, who was so sensitive to others' presence, didn't realize they were there. He was exploring the pattern already laid out on the big and little keys. When he paused momentarily because the sound was wrong and he sought another, Miss Nellie spoke softly. He spun around in a spasm of terror, leaped forward in the dark, hit his head on the open window, and collapsed, screaming and bleeding on the floor. He had what his mother called a fit. The doctor came and gave him opium.

When Samson was well again, his young mistress led him back to the piano. Several teachers experimented with him. They found he had absolute pitch, and a remarkable memory. As a very young child he could repeat, after a fashion, any composition that[pg 215] was played for him. No matter how many wrong notes he struck, he never lost the intention of a passage, he brought the substance of it across by irregular and astonishing means. He wore his teachers out. He could never learn like other people, never acquired any finish. He was always a negro prodigy who played barbarously and wonderfully. As piano playing, it was perhaps abominable, but as music it was something real, vitalized by a sense of rhythm that was stronger than his other physical senses,—that not only filled his dark mind, but worried his body incessantly. To hear him, to watch him, was to see a negro enjoying himself as only a negro can. It was as if all the agreeable sensations possible to creatures of flesh and blood were heaped up on those black and white keys, and he were gloating over them and trickling them through his yellow fingers.

When Samson recovered, his young mistress brought him back to the piano. Several teachers tried to work with him. They discovered he had perfect pitch and an amazing memory. As a small child, he could more or less replicate any piece that was played for him. No matter how many wrong notes he hit, he never lost the essence of the piece; he communicated its substance through irregular and surprising ways. He exhausted his teachers. He could never learn like other people and never gained any polish. He remained a Black prodigy who played in a wild and extraordinary way. As piano playing, it might have been terrible, but as music, it was something real, energized by a sense of rhythm that was stronger than his other physical senses—it not only filled his dark mind but also restless his body constantly. To listen to him, to watch him, was to see a Black person reveling in joy as only a Black person can. It was as if all the pleasurable sensations possible for living beings were piled up on those black and white keys, and he was savoring them and letting them flow through his yellow fingers.

In the middle of a crashing waltz d’Arnault suddenly began to play softly, and, turning to one of the men who stood behind him, whispered, “Somebody dancing in there.” He jerked his bullet head toward the dining-room. “I hear little feet,—girls, I ’spect.”

In the middle of a crashing waltz, d’Arnault suddenly started to play softly and, turning to one of the guys standing behind him, whispered, “Someone’s dancing in there.” He pointed his head toward the dining room. “I hear little feet—probably girls.”

Anson Kirkpatrick mounted a chair and[pg 216] peeped over the transom. Springing down, he wrenched open the doors and ran out into the dining-room. Tiny and Lena, Ántonia and Mary Dusak, were waltzing in the middle of the floor. They separated and fled toward the kitchen, giggling.

Anson Kirkpatrick climbed onto a chair and[pg 216] looked over the top. Jumping down, he flung the doors open and dashed into the dining room. Tiny and Lena, Ántonia and Mary Dusak, were waltzing in the middle of the room. They broke apart and hurried toward the kitchen, laughing.

Kirkpatrick caught Tiny by the elbows. “What’s the matter with you girls? Dancing out here by yourselves, when there’s a roomful of lonesome men on the other side of the partition! Introduce me to your friends, Tiny.”

Kirkpatrick grabbed Tiny by the elbows. “What’s up with you girls? Dancing out here by yourselves when there's a room full of lonely men just on the other side of the wall! Introduce me to your friends, Tiny.”

The girls, still laughing, were trying to escape. Tiny looked alarmed. “Mrs. Gardener would n’t like it,” she protested. “She’d be awful mad if you was to come out here and dance with us.”

The girls, still laughing, were trying to escape. Tiny looked worried. “Mrs. Gardener wouldn’t like it,” she protested. “She’d be really mad if you came out here and danced with us.”

Mrs. Gardener’s in Omaha, girl. Now, you’re Lena, are you?—and you’re Tony and you’re Mary. Have I got you all straight?”

Ms. Gardener’s in Omaha, girl. So, you’re Lena, right?—and you’re Tony, and you’re Mary. Am I keeping you all straight?”

O’Reilly and the others began to pile the chairs on the tables. Johnnie Gardener ran in from the office.

O’Reilly and the others started stacking the chairs on the tables. Johnnie Gardener rushed in from the office.

“Easy, boys, easy!” he entreated them. “You’ll wake the cook, and there’ll be the devil to pay for me. She won’t hear the music, but she’ll be down the minute anything’s moved in the dining-room.”

“Take it easy, guys, take it easy!” he pleaded with them. “You’ll wake up the cook, and I’ll be in big trouble. She won’t hear the music, but she’ll come running the second anything’s moved in the dining room.”

[pg 217]

“Oh, what do you care, Johnnie? Fire the cook and wire Molly to bring another. Come along, nobody’ll tell tales.”

“Oh, what do you care, Johnnie? Fire the cook and have Molly bring in someone else. Come on, no one will tell.”

Johnnie shook his head. “’S a fact, boys,” he said confidentially. “If I take a drink in Black Hawk, Molly knows it in Omaha!”

Johnnie shook his head. “It’s true, guys,” he said quietly. “If I have a drink in Black Hawk, Molly hears about it in Omaha!”

His guests laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. “Oh, we’ll make it all right with Molly. Get your back up, Johnnie.”

His guests laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “Oh, we’ll sort everything out with Molly. Just relax, Johnnie.”

Molly was Mrs. Gardener’s name, of course. “Molly Bawn” was painted in large blue letters on the glossy white side of the hotel bus, and “Molly” was engraved inside Johnnie’s ring and on his watch-case—doubtless on his heart, too. He was an affectionate little man, and he thought his wife a wonderful woman; he knew that without her he would hardly be more than a clerk in some other man’s hotel.

Molly was Mrs. Gardener’s name, of course. “Molly Bawn” was painted in large blue letters on the shiny white side of the hotel bus, and “Molly” was engraved inside Johnnie’s ring and on his watch case—undoubtedly on his heart, too. He was a caring little man, and he thought his wife was an amazing woman; he knew that without her he would barely be more than a clerk in someone else’s hotel.

At a word from Kirkpatrick, d’Arnault spread himself out over the piano, and began to draw the dance music out of it, while the perspiration shone on his short wool and on his uplifted face. He looked like some glistening African god of pleasure, full of strong, savage blood. Whenever the dancers paused to change partners or to catch breath, he would boom out softly, “Who’s that goin’[pg 218] back on me? One of these city gentlemen, I bet! Now, you girls, you ain’t goin’ to let that floor get cold?”

At a word from Kirkpatrick, d’Arnault laid himself over the piano and started pulling dance music from it, sweat gleaming on his short hair and on his lifted face. He looked like a shining African god of pleasure, full of strong, wild blood. Whenever the dancers took a break to switch partners or catch their breath, he would softly call out, “Who’s that going back on me? One of these city guys, I bet! Now, you girls, you’re not about to let that floor get cold, are you?”

Ántonia seemed frightened at first, and kept looking questioningly at Lena and Tiny over Willy O’Reilly’s shoulder. Tiny Soderball was trim and slender, with lively little feet and pretty ankles—she wore her dresses very short. She was quicker in speech, lighter in movement and manner than the other girls. Mary Dusak was broad and brown of countenance, slightly marked by smallpox, but handsome for all that. She had beautiful chestnut hair, coils of it; her forehead was low and smooth, and her commanding dark eyes regarded the world indifferently and fearlessly. She looked bold and resourceful and unscrupulous, and she was all of these. They were handsome girls, had the fresh color of their country up-bringing, and in their eyes that brilliancy which is called,—by no metaphor, alas!—“the light of youth.”

Ántonia looked scared at first and kept glancing curiously at Lena and Tiny over Willy O’Reilly’s shoulder. Tiny Soderball was neat and slender, with lively little feet and pretty ankles—she wore her dresses very short. She spoke more quickly and moved more lightly than the other girls. Mary Dusak had a broad, brown face, slightly marked by smallpox, but still beautiful. She had beautiful chestnut hair, which she wore in coils; her forehead was low and smooth, and her striking dark eyes looked at the world with indifference and fearlessness. She seemed bold, resourceful, and a bit ruthless, and she was all of those things. They were attractive girls, with the fresh complexion of their country upbringing, and in their eyes was that brilliance often known—without any metaphor, unfortunately—as “the light of youth.”

D’Arnault played until his manager came and shut the piano. Before he left us, he showed us his gold watch which struck the hours, and a topaz ring, given him by some Russian nobleman who delighted in negro[pg 219] melodies, and had heard d’Arnault play in New Orleans. At last he tapped his way upstairs, after bowing to everybody, docile and happy. I walked home with Ántonia. We were so excited that we dreaded to go to bed. We lingered a long while at the Harlings’ gate, whispering in the cold until the restlessness was slowly chilled out of us.

D’Arnault played until his manager came and closed the piano. Before he left us, he showed us his gold watch that chimed the hours, and a topaz ring he received from a Russian nobleman who loved Black melodies and had heard d’Arnault play in New Orleans. Finally, he tapped his way upstairs, bowing to everyone, feeling relaxed and happy. I walked home with Ántonia. We were so excited that we dreaded going to bed. We lingered for a long time at the Harlings’ gate, whispering in the cold until our restlessness was gradually worn away.


[pg 220]

VIII

The Harling children and I were never happier, never felt more contented and secure, than in the weeks of spring which broke that long winter. We were out all day in the thin sunshine, helping Mrs. Harling and Tony break the ground and plant the garden, dig around the orchard trees, tie up vines and clip the hedges. Every morning, before I was up, I could hear Tony singing in the garden rows. After the apple and cherry trees broke into bloom, we ran about under them, hunting for the new nests the birds were building, throwing clods at each other, and playing hide-and-seek with Nina. Yet the summer which was to change everything was coming nearer every day. When boys and girls are growing up, life can’t stand still, not even in the quietest of country towns; and they have to grow up, whether they will or no. That is what their elders are always forgetting.

The Harling kids and I were never happier, never felt more content and secure, than in the spring weeks that followed that long winter. We spent all day in the weak sunshine, helping Ms. Harling and Tony prepare the soil and plant the garden, tending to the orchard trees, tying up vines, and clipping the hedges. Every morning, before I got up, I could hear Tony singing in the garden rows. After the apple and cherry trees blossomed, we ran around beneath them, searching for the new nests the birds were building, throwing dirt clods at each other, and playing hide-and-seek with Nina. Yet, the summer that would change everything was getting closer every day. When boys and girls are growing up, life can’t stand still, not even in the quietest of country towns; and they have to grow up, whether they like it or not. That’s what their elders always forget.

It must have been in June, for Mrs. Harling and Ántonia were preserving cherries, when I stopped one morning to tell them that a dancing pavilion had come to town. I had seen[pg 221] two drays hauling the canvas and painted poles up from the depot.

It must have been in June, because Mrs. Harling and Ántonia were preserving cherries when I stopped by one morning to tell them that a dance pavilion had come to town. I had seen two trucks hauling the canvas and painted poles up from the depot.

That afternoon three cheerful-looking Italians strolled about Black Hawk, looking at everything, and with them was a dark, stout woman who wore a long gold watch chain about her neck and carried a black lace parasol. They seemed especially interested in children and vacant lots. When I overtook them and stopped to say a word, I found them affable and confiding. They told me they worked in Kansas City in the winter, and in summer they went out among the farming towns with their tent and taught dancing. When business fell off in one place, they moved on to another.

That afternoon, three cheerful-looking Italians strolled around Black Hawk, checking everything out, and with them was a dark, stout woman who wore a long gold watch chain around her neck and carried a black lace parasol. They seemed especially interested in children and empty lots. When I caught up to them and stopped to chat, I found them friendly and open. They told me they worked in Kansas City during the winter, and in the summer, they traveled to farming towns with their tent to teach dancing. When business slowed down in one spot, they moved on to another.

The dancing pavilion was put up near the Danish laundry, on a vacant lot surrounded by tall, arched cottonwood trees. It was very much like a merry-go-round tent, with open sides and gay flags flying from the poles. Before the week was over, all the ambitious mothers were sending their children to the afternoon dancing class. At three o’clock one met little girls in white dresses and little boys in the round-collared shirts of the time, hurrying along the sidewalk on their way to the tent. Mrs. Vanni received them at the[pg 222] entrance, always dressed in lavender with a great deal of black lace, her important watch chain lying on her bosom. She wore her hair on the top of her head, built up in a black tower, with red coral combs. When she smiled, she showed two rows of strong, crooked yellow teeth. She taught the little children herself, and her husband, the harpist, taught the older ones.

The dance pavilion was set up near the Danish laundry, on an empty lot surrounded by tall, arched cottonwood trees. It looked a lot like a carnival tent, with open sides and colorful flags flying from the poles. By the end of the week, all the eager mothers were sending their kids to the afternoon dance class. At three o’clock, you would see little girls in white dresses and little boys in round-collared shirts rushing down the sidewalk towards the tent. Mrs. Vanni greeted them at the[pg 222] entrance, always dressed in lavender with a lot of black lace, her important watch chain draped over her chest. She styled her hair in a high black tower, adorned with red coral combs. When she smiled, you could see two rows of strong, crooked yellow teeth. She taught the little kids herself, while her husband, the harpist, instructed the older ones.

Often the mothers brought their fancy-work and sat on the shady side of the tent during the lesson. The popcorn man wheeled his glass wagon under the big cottonwood by the door, and lounged in the sun, sure of a good trade when the dancing was over. Mr. Jensen, the Danish laundryman, used to bring a chair from his porch and sit out in the grass plot. Some ragged little boys from the depot sold pop and iced lemonade under a white umbrella at the corner, and made faces at the spruce youngsters who came to dance. That vacant lot soon became the most cheerful place in town. Even on the hottest afternoons the cottonwoods made a rustling shade, and the air smelled of popcorn and melted butter, and Bouncing Bets wilting in the sun. Those hardy flowers had run away from the[pg 223] laundryman’s garden, and the grass in the middle of the lot was pink with them.

Often the mothers brought their crafts and sat on the shady side of the tent during the lesson. The popcorn vendor wheeled his glass cart under the big cottonwood by the door and lounged in the sun, confident he'd make good sales when the dancing was over. Mr. Jensen, the Danish laundryman, would bring a chair from his porch and sit out in the grassy area. Some scruffy little boys from the depot sold soda and iced lemonade under a white umbrella at the corner and made faces at the well-dressed kids who came to dance. That empty lot quickly became the happiest place in town. Even on the hottest afternoons, the cottonwoods provided a cooling shade, and the air was filled with the smell of popcorn and melted butter, along with Bouncing Bets wilting in the sun. Those tough flowers had escaped from the [pg 223] laundryman’s garden, and the grass in the middle of the lot was dotted with pink blossoms.

The Vannis kept exemplary order, and closed every evening at the hour suggested by the City Council. When Mrs. Vanni gave the signal, and the harp struck up “Home, Sweet Home,” all Black Hawk knew it was ten o’clock. You could set your watch by that tune as confidently as by the Round House whistle.

The Vannis maintained perfect order and closed every evening at the time recommended by the City Council. When Ms. Vanni signaled, and the harp played “Home, Sweet Home,” everyone in Black Hawk knew it was ten o’clock. You could set your watch by that tune just as reliably as by the Round House whistle.

At last there was something to do in those long, empty summer evenings, when the married people sat like images on their front porches, and the boys and girls tramped and tramped the board sidewalks—northward to the edge of the open prairie, south to the depot, then back again to the post-office, the ice-cream parlor, the butcher shop. Now there was a place where the girls could wear their new dresses, and where one could laugh aloud without being reproved by the ensuing silence. That silence seemed to ooze out of the ground, to hang under the foliage of the black maple trees with the bats and shadows. Now it was broken by light-hearted sounds. First the deep purring of Mr. Vanni’s harp came in silvery ripples through the blackness of the[pg 224] dusty-smelling night; then the violins fell in—one of them was almost like a flute. They called so archly, so seductively, that our feet hurried toward the tent of themselves. Why had n’t we had a tent before?

At last, there was something to do during those long, empty summer evenings, when the married couples sat like statues on their porches, and the boys and girls walked the boardwalks—north to the edge of the open prairie, south to the train depot, then back again to the post office, the ice cream parlor, the butcher shop. Now there was a place for the girls to wear their new dresses, and where you could laugh out loud without being hushed by the surrounding silence. That silence seemed to seep up from the ground, lingering beneath the leaves of the black maple trees with the bats and shadows. Now it was broken by cheerful sounds. First, the deep, soothing notes of Mr. Vanni’s harp flowed in silvery ripples through the dark, musty night; then the violins joined in—one of them almost sounded like a flute. They called out so playfully, so enticingly, that our feet rushed toward the tent on their own. Why hadn’t we had a tent before?

Dancing became popular now, just as roller skating had been the summer before. The Progressive Euchre Club arranged with the Vannis for the exclusive use of the floor on Tuesday and Friday nights. At other times any one could dance who paid his money and was orderly; the railroad men, the Round House mechanics, the delivery boys, the iceman, the farmhands who lived near enough to ride into town after their day’s work was over.

Dancing has become popular now, just like roller skating was last summer. The Progressive Euchre Club made arrangements with the Vannis for exclusive use of the floor on Tuesday and Friday nights. At other times, anyone who paid their money and behaved could dance; that included the railroad workers, the Round House mechanics, delivery boys, the iceman, and the farmhands who lived close enough to ride into town after finishing their day’s work.

I never missed a Saturday night dance. The tent was open until midnight then. The country boys came in from farms eight and ten miles away, and all the country girls were on the floor,—Ántonia and Lena and Tiny, and the Danish laundry girls and their friends. I was not the only boy who found these dances gayer than the others. The young men who belonged to the Progressive Euchre Club used to drop in late and risk a tiff with their sweethearts and general condemnation for a waltz with “the hired girls.”

I never missed a Saturday night dance. The tent was open until midnight then. The country boys came in from farms eight and ten miles away, and all the country girls were on the floor—Ántonia, Lena, Tiny, the Danish laundry girls, and their friends. I wasn't the only guy who found these dances more fun than the others. The young men from the Progressive Euchre Club would often drop by late, risking a fight with their girlfriends and facing general disapproval for a waltz with “the hired girls.”


[pg 225]

IX

There was a curious social situation in Black Hawk. All the young men felt the attraction of the fine, well-set-up country girls who had come to town to earn a living, and, in nearly every case, to help the father struggle out of debt, or to make it possible for the younger children of the family to go to school.

There was a curious social situation in Black Hawk. All the young men were drawn to the attractive, well-built country girls who had come to town to earn a living, often to help their fathers get out of debt or to enable their younger siblings to attend school.

Those girls had grown up in the first bitter-hard times, and had got little schooling themselves. But the younger brothers and sisters, for whom they made such sacrifices and who have had “advantages,” never seem to me, when I meet them now, half as interesting or as well educated. The older girls, who helped to break up the wild sod, learned so much from life, from poverty, from their mothers and grandmothers; they had all, like Ántonia, been early awakened and made observant by coming at a tender age from an old country to a new. I can remember a score of these country girls who were in service in Black Hawk during the few years I lived there, and[pg 226] I can remember something unusual and engaging about each of them. Physically they were almost a race apart, and out-of-door work had given them a vigor which, when they got over their first shyness on coming to town, developed into a positive carriage and freedom of movement, and made them conspicuous among Black Hawk women.

Those girls had grown up during tough times and didn't receive much education themselves. But their younger siblings, for whom they sacrificed so much and who have had "advantages," never strike me as half as interesting or as well educated when I meet them now. The older girls, who helped break the tough ground, learned so much from life, from hardship, and from their mothers and grandmothers. They had all, like Ántonia, been awakened early and made observant by moving from an old country to a new one at a young age. I can remember several of these country girls who worked in Black Hawk during the few years I lived there, and I can recall something unique and captivating about each of them. Physically, they were almost a different breed, and outdoor work had given them a strength that, after they got over their initial shyness in town, turned into a confident posture and ease of movement, making them stand out among the women of Black Hawk.

That was before the day of High-School athletics. Girls who had to walk more than half a mile to school were pitied. There was not a tennis court in the town; physical exercise was thought rather inelegant for the daughters of well-to-do families. Some of the High-School girls were jolly and pretty, but they stayed indoors in winter because of the cold, and in summer because of the heat. When one danced with them their bodies never moved inside their clothes; their muscles seemed to ask but one thing—not to be disturbed. I remember those girls merely as faces in the schoolroom, gay and rosy, or listless and dull, cut off below the shoulders, like cherubs, by the ink-smeared tops of the high desks that were surely put there to make us round-shouldered and hollow-chested.

That was before the era of high school sports. Girls who had to walk more than half a mile to school were seen as unfortunate. There wasn't a tennis court in town; physical activity was considered a bit unrefined for the daughters of wealthy families. Some of the high school girls were cheerful and attractive, but they stayed indoors in winter because it was cold, and in summer because it was hot. When you danced with them, their bodies never moved within their clothes; their muscles seemed to want just one thing—not to be bothered. I remember those girls only as faces in the classroom, cheerful and rosy, or apathetic and dull, cut off at the shoulders, like cherubs, by the ink-stained tops of the tall desks that were definitely designed to make us slouch and have bad posture.

The daughters of Black Hawk merchants[pg 227] had a confident, uninquiring belief that they were “refined,” and that the country girls, who “worked out,” were not. The American farmers in our county were quite as hard-pressed as their neighbors from other countries. All alike had come to Nebraska with little capital and no knowledge of the soil they must subdue. All had borrowed money on their land. But no matter in what straits the Pennsylvanian or Virginian found himself, he would not let his daughters go out into service. Unless his girls could teach a country school, they sat at home in poverty. The Bohemian and Scandinavian girls could not get positions as teachers, because they had had no opportunity to learn the language. Determined to help in the struggle to clear the homestead from debt, they had no alternative but to go into service. Some of them, after they came to town, remained as serious and as discreet in behavior as they had been when they ploughed and herded on their father’s farm. Others, like the three Bohemian Marys, tried to make up for the years of youth they had lost. But every one of them did what she had set out to do, and sent home those hard-earned dollars. The girls I knew were always[pg 228] helping to pay for ploughs and reapers, brood-sows, or steers to fatten.

The daughters of Black Hawk merchants[pg 227] believed confidently and without question that they were "refined," while the country girls who "worked out" were not. The American farmers in our county faced challenges just as tough as their neighbors from other countries. All had come to Nebraska with little money and no understanding of the land they needed to tame. They had all borrowed against their land. But no matter how hard times got for the Pennsylvanians or Virginians, they wouldn’t let their daughters go into service. Unless their girls could teach at a country school, they stayed at home in poverty. The Bohemian and Scandinavian girls couldn’t get teaching jobs because they hadn’t had the chance to learn the language. Determined to help pay off the homestead's debt, they had no choice but to take up service jobs. Some, after arriving in town, remained as serious and discreet in their behavior as they had been while plowing and herding on their family farms. Others, like the three Bohemian Marys, tried to make up for lost years of their youth. But each of them accomplished what they set out to do, sending those hard-earned dollars back home. The girls I knew were always[pg 228] helping to pay for plows and reapers, brood sows, or steers to fatten.

One result of this family solidarity was that the foreign farmers in our county were the first to become prosperous. After the fathers were out of debt, the daughters married the sons of neighbors,—usually of like nationality,—and the girls who once worked in Black Hawk kitchens are to-day managing big farms and fine families of their own; their children are better off than the children of the town women they used to serve.

One outcome of this family unity was that the foreign farmers in our county were the first to thrive. Once the fathers were out of debt, the daughters married the sons of neighbors—typically from the same nationality—and the girls who once worked in Black Hawk kitchens are now managing large farms and beautiful families of their own; their children are better off than the children of the town women they used to serve.

I thought the attitude of the town people toward these girls very stupid. If I told my schoolmates that Lena Lingard’s grandfather was a clergyman, and much respected in Norway, they looked at me blankly. What did it matter? All foreigners were ignorant people who could n’t speak English. There was not a man in Black Hawk who had the intelligence or cultivation, much less the personal distinction, of Ántonia’s father. Yet people saw no difference between her and the three Marys; they were all Bohemians, all “hired girls.”

I thought the attitude of the townspeople toward these girls was really foolish. When I told my classmates that Lena Lingard’s grandfather was a clergyman and highly regarded in Norway, they just stared at me. What did it matter? All foreigners were seen as ignorant people who couldn’t speak English. There wasn’t a single man in Black Hawk who had the intelligence or refinement, let alone the personal distinction, of Ántonia’s father. Still, people didn't see any difference between her and the three Marys; they were all Bohemians, all just “hired girls.”

I always knew I should live long enough to see my country girls come into their own, and I have. To-day the best that a harassed Black[pg 229] Hawk merchant can hope for is to sell provisions and farm machinery and automobiles to the rich farms where that first crop of stalwart Bohemian and Scandinavian girls are now the mistresses.

I always knew I'd live long enough to see the girls from my hometown come into their own, and I have. Today, the best that an overworked Black[pg 229] Hawk merchant can hope for is to sell supplies, farming equipment, and cars to the wealthy farms where that first group of strong Bohemian and Scandinavian girls are now in charge.

The Black Hawk boys looked forward to marrying Black Hawk girls, and living in a brand-new little house with best chairs that must not be sat upon, and hand-painted china that must not be used. But sometimes a young fellow would look up from his ledger, or out through the grating of his father’s bank, and let his eyes follow Lena Lingard, as she passed the window with her slow, undulating walk, or Tiny Soderball, tripping by in her short skirt and striped stockings.

The Black Hawk guys looked forward to marrying Black Hawk girls and living in a shiny new house with fancy chairs that weren’t supposed to be used and hand-painted china that should never be touched. But sometimes a young man would glance up from his ledger or look through the bars of his dad’s bank and watch Lena Lingard as she walked by with her smooth, flowing stride, or Tiny Soderball, skipping along in her short skirt and striped stockings.

The country girls were considered a menace to the social order. Their beauty shone out too boldly against a conventional background. But anxious mothers need have felt no alarm. They mistook the mettle of their sons. The respect for respectability was stronger than any desire in Black Hawk youth.

The country girls were seen as a threat to the social order. Their beauty stood out too sharply against the traditional backdrop. But worried mothers didn’t need to be concerned. They misjudged their sons’ character. The respect for respectability was greater than any desire among the youth in Black Hawk.

Our young man of position was like the son of a royal house; the boy who swept out his office or drove his delivery wagon might frolic with the jolly country girls, but he himself[pg 230] must sit all evening in a plush parlor where conversation dragged so perceptibly that the father often came in and made blundering efforts to warm up the atmosphere. On his way home from his dull call, he would perhaps meet Tony and Lena, coming along the sidewalk whispering to each other, or the three Bohemian Marys in their long plush coats and caps, comporting themselves with a dignity that only made their eventful histories the more piquant. If he went to the hotel to see a traveling man on business, there was Tiny, arching her shoulders at him like a kitten. If he went into the laundry to get his collars, there were the four Danish girls, smiling up from their ironing-boards, with their white throats and their pink cheeks.

Our young man of status was like a prince; the kid who cleaned his office or drove his delivery truck might hang out with the cheerful country girls, but he had to spend all evening in a fancy parlor where the conversation dragged so much that his dad often came in and awkwardly tried to lighten the mood. On his way home from his boring day, he might bump into Tony and Lena, walking down the sidewalk whispering to each other, or the three Bohemian Marys in their long plush coats and caps, carrying themselves with a seriousness that only made their interesting pasts even more intriguing. If he headed to the hotel to meet a traveling salesman, there was Tiny, playfully stretching her shoulders at him like a kitten. If he stopped by the laundry to pick up his collars, the four Danish girls would smile up from their ironing boards, their white necks and rosy cheeks shining.

The three Marys were the heroines of a cycle of scandalous stories, which the old men were fond of relating as they sat about the cigar-stand in the drug-store. Mary Dusak had been housekeeper for a bachelor rancher from Boston, and after several years in his service she was forced to retire from the world for a short time. Later she came back to town to take the place of her friend, Mary Svoboda, who was similarly embarrassed. The three Marys[pg 231] were considered as dangerous as high explosives to have about the kitchen, yet they were such good cooks and such admirable housekeepers that they never had to look for a place.

The three Marys were the stars of a bunch of scandalous stories that the old men loved to share while hanging around the cigar stand at the drug store. Mary Dusak had been the housekeeper for a bachelor rancher from Boston, and after several years of working for him, she had to step back from the world for a little while. Later, she returned to town to take over for her friend, Mary Svoboda, who had faced a similar situation. The three Marys[pg 231] were considered as risky as explosives to have in the kitchen, yet they were such great cooks and fantastic housekeepers that they never had to search for a job.

The Vannis’ tent brought the town boys and the country girls together on neutral ground. Sylvester Lovett, who was cashier in his father’s bank, always found his way to the tent on Saturday night. He took all the dances Lena Lingard would give him, and even grew bold enough to walk home with her. If his sisters or their friends happened to be among the onlookers on “popular nights,” Sylvester stood back in the shadow under the cottonwood trees, smoking and watching Lena with a harassed expression. Several times I stumbled upon him there in the dark, and I felt rather sorry for him. He reminded me of Ole Benson, who used to sit on the draw-side and watch Lena herd her cattle. Later in the summer, when Lena went home for a week to visit her mother, I heard from Ántonia that young Lovett drove all the way out there to see her, and took her buggy-riding. In my ingenuousness I hoped that Sylvester would marry Lena, and thus give all the country girls a better position in the town.

The Vannis’ tent brought the town boys and the country girls together on neutral ground. Sylvester Lovett, who worked as a cashier at his father's bank, always made it to the tent on Saturday nights. He danced with Lena Lingard as much as she would let him, and even got brave enough to walk her home. If his sisters or their friends happened to be among the crowd on popular nights, Sylvester would hang back in the shadow under the cottonwood trees, smoking and watching Lena with a stressed look. A few times I found him there in the dark, and I felt kind of sorry for him. He reminded me of Ole Benson, who used to sit on the draw-side and watch Lena herd her cattle. Later in the summer, when Lena went home for a week to visit her mom, I heard from Ántonia that young Lovett drove all the way out there to see her and took her out for a buggy ride. In my innocence, I hoped that Sylvester would marry Lena, giving all the country girls a better place in town.

[pg 232]

Sylvester dallied about Lena until he began to make mistakes in his work; had to stay at the bank until after dark to make his books balance. He was daft about her, and every one knew it. To escape from his predicament he ran away with a widow six years older than himself, who owned a half-section. This remedy worked, apparently. He never looked at Lena again, nor lifted his eyes as he ceremoniously tipped his hat when he happened to meet her on the sidewalk.

Sylvester lingered around Lena until he started making mistakes at work and had to stay at the bank late to balance his books. He was crazy about her, and everyone knew it. To get out of his situation, he ran off with a widow who was six years older than him and owned a half-section of land. This seemed to fix things. He never looked at Lena again, nor did he raise his eyes when he politely tipped his hat if he happened to see her on the sidewalk.

So that was what they were like, I thought, these white-handed, high-collared clerks and bookkeepers! I used to glare at young Lovett from a distance and only wished I had some way of showing my contempt for him.

So that’s what they were like, I thought, these white-handed, high-collared clerks and bookkeepers! I used to glare at young Lovett from afar and really wished I could figure out a way to show my disdain for him.


[pg 233]

X

It was at the Vannis’ tent that Ántonia was discovered. Hitherto she had been looked upon more as a ward of the Harlings than as one of the “hired girls.” She had lived in their house and yard and garden; her thoughts never seemed to stray outside that little kingdom. But after the tent came to town she began to go about with Tiny and Lena and their friends. The Vannis often said that Ántonia was the best dancer of them all. I sometimes heard murmurs in the crowd outside the pavilion that Mrs. Harling would soon have her hands full with that girl. The young men began to joke with each other about “the Harlings’ Tony” as they did about “the Marshalls’ Anna” or “the Gardeners’ Tiny.”

It was at the Vannis’ tent that Ántonia was found. Until then, she had been seen more as a ward of the Harlings than as one of the “hired girls.” She had lived in their house, yard, and garden; her thoughts never seemed to venture beyond that small world. But after the tent arrived in town, she started hanging out with Tiny, Lena, and their friends. The Vannis often said that Ántonia was the best dancer of all. I sometimes heard whispers in the crowd outside the pavilion that Mrs. Harling would soon have a handful with that girl. The young men began to joke with each other about “the Harlings’ Tony” just as they did about “the Marshalls’ Anna” or “the Gardeners’ Tiny.”

Ántonia talked and thought of nothing but the tent. She hummed the dance tunes all day. When supper was late, she hurried with her dishes, dropped and smashed them in her excitement. At the first call of the music, she became irresponsible. If she had n’t time to dress, she merely flung off her apron and shot[pg 234] out of the kitchen door. Sometimes I went with her; the moment the lighted tent came into view she would break into a run, like a boy. There were always partners waiting for her; she began to dance before she got her breath.

Ántonia couldn't stop talking and thinking about the tent. She hummed the dance tunes all day. When dinner was running late, she rushed through her chores, accidentally dropping and breaking things out of excitement. At the first sound of the music, she became carefree. If she didn't have time to change, she simply tossed aside her apron and darted out of the kitchen. Sometimes I went with her; the moment she saw the lit-up tent, she would take off running, just like a boy. There were always dance partners waiting for her, and she started dancing even before she caught her breath.

Ántonia’s success at the tent had its consequences. The iceman lingered too long now, when he came into the covered porch to fill the refrigerator. The delivery boys hung about the kitchen when they brought the groceries. Young farmers who were in town for Saturday came tramping through the yard to the back door to engage dances, or to invite Tony to parties and picnics. Lena and Norwegian Anna dropped in to help her with her work, so that she could get away early. The boys who brought her home after the dances sometimes laughed at the back gate and wakened Mr. Harling from his first sleep. A crisis was inevitable.

Ántonia’s success at the tent brought some consequences. The iceman now lingered too long when he came into the covered porch to fill the refrigerator. The delivery boys hung around the kitchen when they brought the groceries. Young farmers visiting town for Saturday trampled through the yard to the back door to ask for dances or invite Tony to parties and picnics. Lena and Norwegian Anna dropped by to help her with her work so she could leave early. The guys who drove her home after the dances sometimes laughed at the back gate and woke Mr. Harling from his first sleep. A crisis was unavoidable.

One Saturday night Mr. Harling had gone down to the cellar for beer. As he came up the stairs in the dark, he heard scuffling on the back porch, and then the sound of a vigorous slap. He looked out through the side door in time to see a pair of long legs vaulting over[pg 235] the picket fence. Ántonia was standing there, angry and excited. Young Harry Paine, who was to marry his employer’s daughter on Monday, had come to the tent with a crowd of friends and danced all evening. Afterward, he begged Ántonia to let him walk home with her. She said she supposed he was a nice young man, as he was one of Miss Frances’s friends, and she did n’t mind. On the back porch he tried to kiss her, and when she protested,—because he was going to be married on Monday,—he caught her and kissed her until she got one hand free and slapped him.

One Saturday night, Mr. Harling went down to the cellar for some beer. As he came up the stairs in the dark, he heard some shuffling on the back porch, followed by a loud slap. He looked out through the side door just in time to see a pair of long legs jumping over the picket fence. Ántonia was standing there, mad and excited. Young Harry Paine, who was set to marry his employer’s daughter on Monday, had come to the tent with a group of friends and danced all evening. Afterward, he asked Ántonia if he could walk her home. She thought he seemed like a nice young man since he was one of Miss Frances’s friends, so she didn’t mind. On the back porch, he tried to kiss her, but when she protested—because he was going to be married on Monday—he grabbed her and kissed her until she got one hand free and slapped him.

Mr. Harling put his beer bottles down on the table. “This is what I’ve been expecting, Ántonia. You’ve been going with girls who have a reputation for being free and easy, and now you’ve got the same reputation. I won’t have this and that fellow tramping about my back yard all the time. This is the end of it, to-night. It stops, short. You can quit going to these dances, or you can hunt another place. Think it over.”

Mr. Harling set his beer bottles down on the table. “This is what I’ve been expecting, Ántonia. You’ve been hanging out with girls who have a reputation for being loose, and now you’ve got the same reputation. I won’t tolerate this and that guy wandering around my yard all the time. This ends tonight. It stops, right here. You can stop going to these dances, or you can find somewhere else. Think about it.”

The next morning when Mrs. Harling and Frances tried to reason with Ántonia, they found her agitated but determined. “Stop going to the tent?” she panted. “I would n’t[pg 236] think of it for a minute! My own father could n’t make me stop! Mr. Harling ain’t my boss outside my work. I won’t give up my friends, either. The boys I go with are nice fellows. I thought Mr. Paine was all right, too, because he used to come here. I guess I gave him a red face for his wedding, all right!” she blazed out indignantly.

The next morning when Mrs. Harling and Frances tried to reason with Ántonia, they found her upset but resolute. “Stop going to the tent?” she huffed. “I wouldn’t [pg 236] even think about it for a second! My own dad couldn’t make me stop! Mr. Harling isn't my boss outside of work. I won’t give up my friends, either. The guys I hang out with are good guys. I thought Mr. Paine was alright, too, because he used to come here. I guess I really made him blush at his wedding!” she exclaimed angrily.

“You’ll have to do one thing or the other, Ántonia,” Mrs. Harling told her decidedly. “I can’t go back on what Mr. Harling has said. This is his house.”

“You’ll have to pick one or the other, Ántonia,” Mrs. Harling said firmly. “I can’t go against what Mr. Harling has said. This is his house.”

“Then I’ll just leave, Mrs. Harling. Lena’s been wanting me to get a place closer to her for a long while. Mary Svoboda’s going away from the Cutters’ to work at the hotel, and I can have her place.”

“Then I’ll just leave, Mrs. Harling. Lena’s been wanting me to find a place closer to her for a while now. Mary Svoboda is moving out of the Cutters’ to work at the hotel, and I can take her spot.”

Mrs. Harling rose from her chair. “Ántonia, if you go to the Cutters to work, you cannot come back to this house again. You know what that man is. It will be the ruin of you.”

Ms. Harling stood up from her chair. “Ántonia, if you go to work for the Cutters, you can't come back to this house. You know what that man is like. It will ruin you.”

Tony snatched up the tea-kettle and began to pour boiling water over the glasses, laughing excitedly. “Oh, I can take care of myself! I’m a lot stronger than Cutter is. They pay four dollars there, and there’s no children.[pg 237] The work’s nothing; I can have every evening, and be out a lot in the afternoons.”

Tony grabbed the tea kettle and started pouring boiling water over the glasses, laughing with excitement. “Oh, I can handle myself! I’m way stronger than Cutter. They pay four dollars there, and there are no kids.[pg 237] The work is easy; I can have my evenings free and be out a lot in the afternoons.”

“I thought you liked children. Tony, what’s come over you?”

“I thought you liked kids. Tony, what’s gotten into you?”

“I don’t know, something has.” Ántonia tossed her head and set her jaw. “A girl like me has got to take her good times when she can. Maybe there won’t be any tent next year. I guess I want to have my fling, like the other girls.”

“I don’t know, something has.” Ántonia flipped her hair back and clenched her jaw. “A girl like me has to enjoy her good times when she can. Maybe there won’t be a tent next year. I guess I want to have my fun, like the other girls.”

Mrs. Harling gave a short, harsh laugh. “If you go to work for the Cutters, you’re likely to have a fling that you won’t get up from in a hurry.”

Mrs. Harling let out a brief, sharp laugh. “If you work for the Cutters, you might end up having a fling that you won’t recover from quickly.”

Frances said, when she told grandmother and me about this scene, that every pan and plate and cup on the shelves trembled when her mother walked out of the kitchen. Mrs. Harling declared bitterly that she wished she had never let herself get fond of Ántonia.

Frances told my grandmother and me about this scene, saying that every pan, plate, and cup on the shelves shook when her mother walked out of the kitchen. Mrs. Harling said bitterly that she wished she had never let herself get attached to Ántonia.


[pg 238]

XI

Wick Cutter was the money-lender who had fleeced poor Russian Peter. When a farmer once got into the habit of going to Cutter, it was like gambling or the lottery; in an hour of discouragement he went back.

Wick Cutter was the loan shark who had ripped off poor Russian Peter. Once a farmer started going to Cutter, it was like being hooked on gambling or the lottery; in a moment of discouragement, he found himself going back.

Cutter’s first name was Wycliffe, and he liked to talk about his pious bringing-up. He contributed regularly to the Protestant churches, “for sentiment’s sake,” as he said with a flourish of the hand. He came from a town in Iowa where there were a great many Swedes, and could speak a little Swedish, which gave him a great advantage with the early Scandinavian settlers.

Cutter’s first name was Wycliffe, and he enjoyed talking about his religious upbringing. He regularly donated to Protestant churches, “for the sake of sentiment,” as he would say with a dramatic wave of his hand. He was from a town in Iowa that had a lot of Swedes, and he could speak a little Swedish, which gave him a big advantage with the early Scandinavian settlers.

In every frontier settlement there are men who have come there to escape restraint. Cutter was one of the “fast set” of Black Hawk business men. He was an inveterate gambler, though a poor loser. When we saw a light burning in his office late at night, we knew that a game of poker was going on. Cutter boasted that he never drank anything stronger than sherry, and he said he got his start in life[pg 239] by saving the money that other young men spent for cigars. He was full of moral maxims for boys. When he came to our house on business, he quoted “Poor Richard’s Almanack” to me, and told me he was delighted to find a town boy who could milk a cow. He was particularly affable to grandmother, and whenever they met he would begin at once to talk about “the good old times” and simple living. I detested his pink, bald head, and his yellow whiskers, always soft and glistening. It was said he brushed them every night, as a woman does her hair. His white teeth looked factory-made. His skin was red and rough, as if from perpetual sunburn; he often went away to hot springs to take mud baths. He was notoriously dissolute with women. Two Swedish girls who had lived in his house were the worse for the experience. One of them he had taken to Omaha and established in the business for which he had fitted her. He still visited her.

In every frontier town, there are men who have come to escape rules. Cutter was part of the "fast set" of business people in Black Hawk. He was an inveterate gambler but a poor loser. When we saw a light on in his office late at night, we knew there was a poker game happening. Cutter claimed he never drank anything stronger than sherry and said he got his start in life by saving money that other young men spent on cigars. He had plenty of moral advice for boys. When he came to our house for business, he quoted “Poor Richard’s Almanack” to me and was pleased to find a town boy who could milk a cow. He was particularly friendly with my grandmother, and whenever they met, he would immediately start talking about “the good old times” and simple living. I couldn't stand his pink bald head and his yellow whiskers, which were always soft and shiny. People said he brushed them every night like a woman does her hair. His white teeth looked artificial, and his skin was red and rough, as if it had been sunburned constantly; he often went to hot springs for mud baths. He was notoriously reckless with women. Two Swedish girls who had lived with him were worse off for the experience. He had taken one of them to Omaha and set her up in a business he had prepared for her. He still visited her.

Cutter lived in a state of perpetual warfare with his wife, and yet, apparently, they never thought of separating. They dwelt in a fussy, scroll-work house, painted white and buried in thick evergreens, with a fussy white fence and[pg 240] barn. Cutter thought he knew a great deal about horses, and usually had a colt which he was training for the track. On Sunday mornings one could see him out at the fair grounds, speeding around the race-course in his trotting-buggy, wearing yellow gloves and a black-and-white-check traveling cap, his whiskers blowing back in the breeze. If there were any boys about, Cutter would offer one of them a quarter to hold the stop-watch, and then drive off, saying he had no change and would “fix it up next time.” No one could cut his lawn or wash his buggy to suit him. He was so fastidious and prim about his place that a boy would go to a good deal of trouble to throw a dead cat into his back yard, or to dump a sackful of tin cans in his alley. It was a peculiar combination of old-maidishness and licentiousness that made Cutter seem so despicable.

Cutter lived in a constant state of conflict with his wife, yet somehow, they never considered separating. They resided in a meticulously decorated white house surrounded by thick evergreens, complete with a neatly painted white fence and a barn. Cutter believed he knew a lot about horses and usually had a colt he was training for racing. On Sunday mornings, you could see him at the fairgrounds, racing around the track in his trotting buggy, wearing yellow gloves and a black-and-white checkered traveling cap, with his whiskers blowing in the wind. If there were any boys around, Cutter would offer one of them a quarter to hold the stopwatch, then drive off, claiming he didn't have any change and would “settle it next time.” No one could cut his lawn or wash his buggy to his standards. He was so particular and uptight about his property that a boy would go to great lengths to toss a dead cat into his yard or dump a sack of tin cans in his alley. It was a strange mix of prissiness and moral looseness that made Cutter seem so contemptible.

He had certainly met his match when he married Mrs. Cutter. She was a terrifying-looking person; almost a giantess in height, raw-boned, with iron-gray hair, a face always flushed, and prominent, hysterical eyes. When she meant to be entertaining and agreeable, she nodded her head incessantly and snapped her eyes at one. Her teeth were long and[pg 241] curved, like a horse’s; people said babies always cried if she smiled at them. Her face had a kind of fascination for me; it was the very color and shape of anger. There was a gleam of something akin to insanity in her full, intense eyes. She was formal in manner, and made calls in rustling, steel-gray brocades and a tall bonnet with bristling aigrettes.

He definitely met his match when he married Mrs. Cutter. She looked terrifying; nearly a giantess in height, with a raw-boned appearance, iron-gray hair, a constantly flushed face, and wide, hysterical eyes. When she wanted to be entertaining and friendly, she nodded her head nonstop and snapped her eyes at you. Her teeth were long and [pg 241] curved, like a horse’s; people said babies always cried when she smiled at them. Her face had a strange fascination for me; it was the exact color and shape of anger. There was a glimmer of something like insanity in her bright, intense eyes. She was formal in her manner and made visits dressed in rustling, steel-gray brocades and a tall bonnet adorned with bristling feathers.

Mrs. Cutter painted china so assiduously that even her washbowls and pitchers, and her husband’s shaving-mug, were covered with violets and lilies. Once when Cutter was exhibiting some of his wife’s china to a caller, he dropped a piece. Mrs. Cutter put her handkerchief to her lips as if she were going to faint and said grandly: “Mr. Cutter, you have broken all the Commandments—spare the finger-bowls!”

Ms. Cutter painted china so diligently that even her washbasins and pitchers, along with her husband’s shaving mug, were adorned with violets and lilies. Once, when Cutter was showing off some of his wife’s china to a guest, he accidentally dropped a piece. Mrs. Cutter brought her handkerchief to her lips as if she were about to faint and said dramatically: “Mr. Cutter, you have broken all the Commandments—except for the finger bowls!”

They quarreled from the moment Cutter came into the house until they went to bed at night, and their hired girls reported these scenes to the town at large. Mrs. Cutter had several times cut paragraphs about unfaithful husbands out of the newspapers and mailed them to Cutter in a disguised handwriting. Cutter would come home at noon, find the mutilated journal in the paper-rack, and[pg 242] triumphantly fit the clipping into the space from which it had been cut. Those two could quarrel all morning about whether he ought to put on his heavy or his light underwear, and all evening about whether he had taken cold or not.

They argued from the moment Cutter walked into the house until they went to bed at night, and their hired help reported these fights to everyone in town. Mrs. Cutter had cut out several paragraphs about unfaithful husbands from the newspapers and sent them to Cutter in disguised handwriting. Cutter would come home at noon, find the torn-up newspaper in the rack, and[pg 242] triumphantly piece the clipping back into the spot it had been taken from. Those two could argue all morning over whether he should wear his heavy or light underwear, and all evening about whether he had caught a cold or not.

The Cutters had major as well as minor subjects for dispute. The chief of these was the question of inheritance: Mrs. Cutter told her husband it was plainly his fault they had no children. He insisted that Mrs. Cutter had purposely remained childless, with the determination to outlive him and to share his property with her “people,” whom he detested. To this she would reply that unless he changed his mode of life, she would certainly outlive him. After listening to her insinuations about his physical soundness, Cutter would resume his dumb-bell practice for a month, or rise daily at the hour when his wife most liked to sleep, dress noisily, and drive out to the track with his trotting-horse.

The Cutters had both major and minor issues to argue about. The main one was the topic of inheritance: Mrs. Cutter told her husband it was clearly his fault that they had no kids. He insisted that Mrs. Cutter had intentionally chosen to not have children, aiming to outlive him and share his assets with her “people,” whom he couldn’t stand. In response, she would say that unless he changed his lifestyle, she would definitely outlive him. After hearing her insinuations about his health, Cutter would go back to his dumbbell workouts for a month or wake up every day at the time when his wife preferred to sleep, get dressed noisily, and head out to the track with his trotting horse.

Once when they had quarreled about household expenses, Mrs. Cutter put on her brocade and went among their friends soliciting orders for painted china, saying that Mr. Cutter had compelled her “to live by her brush.” Cutter[pg 243] was n’t shamed as she had expected; he was delighted!

Once, after arguing about household expenses, Ms. Cutter dressed up in her fancy clothing and went to their friends to ask for orders for painted china, saying that Mr. Cutter had forced her “to make a living with her art.” Cutter[pg 243] wasn't embarrassed as she had anticipated; he was thrilled!

Cutter often threatened to chop down the cedar trees which half-buried the house. His wife declared she would leave him if she were stripped of the “privacy” which she felt these trees afforded her. That was his opportunity, surely; but he never cut down the trees. The Cutters seemed to find their relations to each other interesting and stimulating, and certainly the rest of us found them so. Wick Cutter was different from any other rascal I have ever known, but I have found Mrs. Cutters all over the world; sometimes founding new religions, sometimes being forcibly fed—easily recognizable, even when superficially tamed.

Cutter often threatened to cut down the cedar trees that partly hid the house. His wife said she would leave him if she lost the “privacy” she thought those trees gave her. That should’ve been his chance, but he never went through with it. The Cutters seemed to find their relationship with each other interesting and stimulating, and we definitely found them that way too. Wick Cutter was different from any other rascal I’ve ever met, but I’ve seen Mrs. Cutters exist all over the world; sometimes they start new religions, and sometimes they are forced to eat—easily noticeable, even when they appear somewhat tamed.


[pg 244]

XII

After Ántonia went to live with the Cutters, she seemed to care about nothing but picnics and parties and having a good time. When she was not going to a dance, she sewed until midnight. Her new clothes were the subject of caustic comment. Under Lena’s direction she copied Mrs. Gardener’s new party dress and Mrs. Smith’s street costume so ingeniously in cheap materials that those ladies were greatly annoyed, and Mrs. Cutter, who was jealous of them, was secretly pleased.

After Ántonia moved in with the Cutters, she seemed to focus only on picnics, parties, and having fun. When she wasn’t at a dance, she sewed until midnight. Her new outfits became a hot topic of gossip. Under Lena’s guidance, she cleverly copied Ms. Gardener’s new party dress and Mrs. Smith’s street outfit using cheap materials, which really frustrated those ladies, and Ms. Cutter, who envied them, was secretly happy about it.

Tony wore gloves now, and high-heeled shoes and feathered bonnets, and she went downtown nearly every afternoon with Tiny and Lena and the Marshalls’ Norwegian Anna. We High-School boys used to linger on the playground at the afternoon recess to watch them as they came tripping down the hill along the board sidewalk, two and two. They were growing prettier every day, but as they passed us, I used to think with pride that Ántonia, like Snow-White in the fairy tale, was still “fairest of them all.”

Tony wore gloves now, as well as high-heeled shoes and feathered hats, and she went downtown almost every afternoon with Tiny, Lena, and the Marshalls’ Norwegian Anna. We high school boys used to hang around the playground during afternoon recess to watch them as they came walking down the hill along the wooden sidewalk, in pairs. They were becoming more beautiful every day, but as they passed us, I often thought with pride that Ántonia, like Snow White in the fairy tale, was still “the fairest of them all.”

[pg 245]

Being a Senior now, I got away from school early. Sometimes I overtook the girls downtown and coaxed them into the ice-cream parlor, where they would sit chattering and laughing, telling me all the news from the country. I remember how angry Tiny Soderball made me one afternoon. She declared she had heard grandmother was going to make a Baptist preacher of me. “I guess you’ll have to stop dancing and wear a white necktie then. Won’t he look funny, girls?”

Being a senior now, I left school early. Sometimes I passed the girls downtown and convinced them to come to the ice-cream parlor, where they would sit chatting and laughing, sharing all the news from the country. I remember how angry Tiny Soderball made me one afternoon. She said she heard my grandmother was going to make a Baptist preacher out of me. "I guess you’ll have to stop dancing and wear a white necktie then. Won’t he look funny, girls?”

Lena laughed. “You’ll have to hurry up, Jim. If you’re going to be a preacher, I want you to marry me. You must promise to marry us all, and then baptize the babies.”

Lena laughed. “You need to hurry up, Jim. If you’re going to be a preacher, I want you to marry me. You have to promise to marry us all, and then baptize the babies.”

Norwegian Anna, always dignified, looked at her reprovingly.

Norwegian Anna, always composed, looked at her with disapproval.

“Baptists don’t believe in christening babies, do they, Jim?”

“Baptists don’t believe in baptizing babies, do they, Jim?”

I told her I did n’t know what they believed, and did n’t care, and that I certainly was n’t going to be a preacher.

I told her I didn’t know what they believed, didn’t care, and I definitely wasn’t going to be a preacher.

“That’s too bad,” Tiny simpered. She was in a teasing mood. “You’d make such a good one. You’re so studious. Maybe you’d like to be a professor. You used to teach Tony, did n’t you?”

"That's a shame," Tiny said with a smirk. She was feeling playful. "You'd be such a great one. You're so serious about your studies. Maybe you should consider being a professor. You used to teach Tony, right?"

[pg 246]

Ántonia broke in. “I’ve set my heart on Jim being a doctor. You’d be good with sick people, Jim. Your grandmother’s trained you up so nice. My papa always said you were an awful smart boy.”

Ántonia interrupted. “I really want Jim to be a doctor. You’d be great with sick people, Jim. Your grandmother raised you so well. My dad always said you were a really smart boy.”

I said I was going to be whatever I pleased. “Won’t you be surprised, Miss Tiny, if I turn out to be a regular devil of a fellow?”

I said I would be whoever I wanted to be. “You’ll be shocked, Miss Tiny, if I turn out to be a real devil of a guy?”

They laughed until a glance from Norwegian Anna checked them; the High-School Principal had just come into the front part of the shop to buy bread for supper. Anna knew the whisper was going about that I was a sly one. People said there must be something queer about a boy who showed no interest in girls of his own age, but who could be lively enough when he was with Tony and Lena or the three Marys.

They laughed until a look from Norwegian Anna stopped them; the high school principal had just walked into the front of the shop to buy bread for dinner. Anna knew that the rumors were going around that I was up to something. People said there had to be something off about a boy who showed no interest in girls his own age but could be lively enough when he was with Tony and Lena or the three Marys.

 

The enthusiasm for the dance, which the Vannis had kindled, did not at once die out. After the tent left town, the Euchre Club became the Owl Club, and gave dances in the Masonic Hall once a week. I was invited to join, but declined. I was moody and restless that winter, and tired of the people I saw every day. Charley Harling was already at[pg 247] Annapolis, while I was still sitting in Black Hawk, answering to my name at roll-call every morning, rising from my desk at the sound of a bell and marching out like the grammar-school children. Mrs. Harling was a little cool toward me, because I continued to champion Ántonia. What was there for me to do after supper? Usually I had learned next day’s lessons by the time I left the school building, and I could n’t sit still and read forever.

The excitement for the dance that the Vannis had sparked didn't fade immediately. After the tent left town, the Euchre Club became the Owl Club and held dances in the Masonic Hall once a week. I was invited to join but turned it down. I felt moody and restless that winter, tired of seeing the same people every day. Charley Harling was already at[pg 247] Annapolis, while I was still in Black Hawk, responding to my name at roll call each morning, getting up from my desk when the bell rang, and marching out like the elementary school kids. Mrs. Harling was a bit distant with me because I kept supporting Ántonia. What could I do after dinner? Usually, I had finished the next day’s lessons by the time I left school, and I couldn’t just sit around and read forever.

In the evening I used to prowl about, hunting for diversion. There lay the familiar streets, frozen with snow or liquid with mud. They led to the houses of good people who were putting the babies to bed, or simply sitting still before the parlor stove, digesting their supper. Black Hawk had two saloons. One of them was admitted, even by the church people, to be as respectable as a saloon could be. Handsome Anton Jelinek, who had rented his homestead and come to town, was the proprietor. In his saloon there were long tables where the Bohemian and German farmers could eat the lunches they brought from home while they drank their beer. Jelinek kept rye bread on hand, and smoked fish and strong imported cheeses to please the foreign[pg 248] palate. I liked to drop into his bar-room and listen to the talk. But one day he overtook me on the street and clapped me on the shoulder.

In the evening, I used to wander around looking for something to do. The familiar streets were either frozen with snow or muddy. They led to the homes of good people who were putting their babies to bed or just sitting quietly in front of the parlor stove, digesting their dinner. Black Hawk had two bars. One of them was recognized, even by the churchgoers, as as respectable as a bar could be. Handsome Anton Jelinek, who had rented out his homestead and moved to town, was the owner. In his bar, there were long tables where the Bohemian and German farmers could eat the lunches they had packed from home while enjoying their beer. Jelinek always had rye bread, smoked fish, and strong imported cheeses to satisfy the foreign palate. I liked to drop by his bar and listen to the conversations. But one day he caught up with me on the street and slapped me on the shoulder.

“Jim,” he said, “I am good friends with you and I always like to see you. But you know how the church people think about saloons. Your grandpa has always treated me fine, and I don’t like to have you come into my place, because I know he don’t like it, and it puts me in bad with him.”

“Jim,” he said, “I’m really good friends with you, and I always enjoy seeing you. But you know how the church folks feel about bars. Your grandpa has always been great to me, and I don’t want you coming into my place because I know he doesn’t approve, and it puts me in a tough spot with him.”

So I was shut out of that.

So I was locked out of that.

One could hang about the drug-store, and listen to the old men who sat there every evening, talking politics and telling raw stories. One could go to the cigar factory and chat with the old German who raised canaries for sale, and look at his stuffed birds. But whatever you began with him, the talk went back to taxidermy. There was the depot, of course; I often went down to see the night train come in, and afterward sat awhile with the disconsolate telegrapher who was always hoping to be transferred to Omaha or Denver, “where there was some life.” He was sure to bring out his pictures of actresses and dancers. He got them with cigarette coupons,[pg 249] and nearly smoked himself to death to possess these desired forms and faces. For a change, one could talk to the station agent; but he was another malcontent; spent all his spare time writing letters to officials requesting a transfer. He wanted to get back to Wyoming where he could go trout-fishing on Sundays. He used to say “there was nothing in life for him but trout streams, ever since he’d lost his twins.”

You could hang out at the drugstore and listen to the old men who gathered there every evening, chatting about politics and sharing wild stories. You could visit the cigar factory and talk with the old German who bred canaries for sale and check out his stuffed birds. But no matter what you started talking about, the conversation always circled back to taxidermy. Then there was the train station; I often went down to watch the night train arrive, and afterward, I’d sit for a while with the gloomy telegrapher who was always hoping to get transferred to Omaha or Denver, "where there was some life." He was sure to pull out his pictures of actresses and dancers. He got them with cigarette coupons,[pg 249] and nearly smoked himself to death trying to collect these admired figures and faces. For something different, you could chat with the station agent; but he was another unhappy person, spending all his free time writing letters to officials asking for a transfer. He wanted to get back to Wyoming where he could go trout fishing on Sundays. He would say “there was nothing in life for him but trout streams, ever since he lost his twins.”

These were the distractions I had to choose from. There were no other lights burning downtown after nine o’clock. On starlight nights I used to pace up and down those long, cold streets, scowling at the little, sleeping houses on either side, with their storm-windows and covered back porches. They were flimsy shelters, most of them poorly built of light wood, with spindle porch-posts horribly mutilated by the turning-lathe. Yet for all their frailness, how much jealousy and envy and unhappiness some of them managed to contain! The life that went on in them seemed to me made up of evasions and negations; shifts to save cooking, to save washing and cleaning, devices to propitiate the tongue of gossip. This guarded mode of existence was[pg 250] like living under a tyranny. People’s speech, their voices, their very glances, became furtive and repressed. Every individual taste, every natural appetite, was bridled by caution. The people asleep in those houses, I thought, tried to live like the mice in their own kitchens; to make no noise, to leave no trace, to slip over the surface of things in the dark. The growing piles of ashes and cinders in the back yards were the only evidence that the wasteful, consuming process of life went on at all. On Tuesday nights the Owl Club danced; then there was a little stir in the streets, and here and there one could see a lighted window until midnight. But the next night all was dark again.

These were the distractions I had to choose from. There were no other lights on downtown after nine o'clock. On starry nights, I used to pace up and down those long, cold streets, frowning at the little, sleeping houses on either side, with their storm windows and covered back porches. They were flimsy shelters, mostly poorly built from light wood, with spindle porch posts badly damaged by the lathe. Yet for all their fragility, how much jealousy, envy, and unhappiness some of them managed to hold! The lives that happened inside them seemed to consist of evasions and rejections; shortcuts to avoid cooking, to skip washing and cleaning, tricks to keep the gossip at bay. This cautious way of living was like being under a tyranny. People’s speech, their voices, their very glances became secretive and stifled. Every personal preference, every natural desire was held back by fear. The people asleep in those houses, I thought, tried to live like mice in their own kitchens; to make no noise, to leave no trace, to glide over the surface of things in the dark. The growing piles of ashes and cinders in the backyards were the only proof that the wasteful, consuming process of life continued at all. On Tuesday nights, the Owl Club danced; then there was a little activity in the streets, and here and there, you could see a lit window until midnight. But the next night, everything was dark again.

After I refused to join “the Owls,” as they were called, I made a bold resolve to go to the Saturday night dances at Firemen’s Hall. I knew it would be useless to acquaint my elders with any such plan. Grandfather did n’t approve of dancing anyway; he would only say that if I wanted to dance I could go to the Masonic Hall, among “the people we knew.” It was just my point that I saw altogether too much of the people we knew.

After I refused to join “the Owls,” as they were called, I made a bold decision to go to the Saturday night dances at Firemen’s Hall. I knew it would be pointless to tell my elders about any such plan. My grandfather didn’t approve of dancing anyway; he would just say that if I wanted to dance, I could go to the Masonic Hall, among “the people we knew.” The thing is, I felt like I saw way too much of the people we knew.

My bedroom was on the ground floor, and as[pg 251] I studied there, I had a stove in it. I used to retire to my room early on Saturday night, change my shirt and collar and put on my Sunday coat. I waited until all was quiet and the old people were asleep, then raised my window, climbed out, and went softly through the yard. The first time I deceived my grandparents I felt rather shabby, perhaps even the second time, but I soon ceased to think about it.

My bedroom was on the ground floor, and as[pg 251] I studied there, I had a stove in it. I used to head to my room early on Saturday night, change my shirt and collar, and put on my Sunday coat. I waited until everything was quiet and the old folks were asleep, then raised my window, climbed out, and tiptoed through the yard. The first time I tricked my grandparents, I felt kind of guilty, maybe even the second time, but I quickly stopped worrying about it.

The dance at the Firemen’s Hall was the one thing I looked forward to all the week. There I met the same people I used to see at the Vannis’ tent. Sometimes there were Bohemians from Wilber, or German boys who came down on the afternoon freight from Bismarck. Tony and Lena and Tiny were always there, and the three Bohemian Marys, and the Danish laundry girls.

The dance at the Firemen’s Hall was the highlight of my week. It was where I met the same people I used to see at the Vannis’ tent. Sometimes there were Bohemians from Wilber or German guys who came down on the afternoon freight from Bismarck. Tony, Lena, and Tiny were always there, along with the three Bohemian Marys and the Danish laundry girls.

The four Danish girls lived with the laundryman and his wife in their house behind the laundry, with a big garden where the clothes were hung out to dry. The laundryman was a kind, wise old fellow, who paid his girls well, looked out for them, and gave them a good home. He told me once that his own daughter died just as she was getting old enough to[pg 252] help her mother, and that he had been “trying to make up for it ever since.” On summer afternoons he used to sit for hours on the sidewalk in front of his laundry, his newspaper lying on his knee, watching his girls through the big open window while they ironed and talked in Danish. The clouds of white dust that blew up the street, the gusts of hot wind that withered his vegetable garden, never disturbed his calm. His droll expression seemed to say that he had found the secret of contentment. Morning and evening he drove about in his spring wagon, distributing freshly ironed clothes, and collecting bags of linen that cried out for his suds and sunny drying-lines. His girls never looked so pretty at the dances as they did standing by the ironing-board, or over the tubs, washing the fine pieces, their white arms and throats bare, their cheeks bright as the brightest wild roses, their gold hair moist with the steam or the heat and curling in little damp spirals about their ears. They had not learned much English, and were not so ambitious as Tony or Lena; but they were kind, simple girls and they were always happy. When one danced with them, one smelled their clean, freshly ironed clothes that[pg 253] had been put away with rosemary leaves from Mr. Jensen’s garden.

The four Danish girls lived with the laundryman and his wife in their house behind the laundry, which had a big garden where the clothes were hung out to dry. The laundryman was a kind, wise old man who paid his girls well, looked out for them, and provided them with a good home. He once told me that his own daughter had died just when she was old enough to help her mother, and he had been “trying to make up for it ever since.” On summer afternoons, he would sit for hours on the sidewalk in front of his laundry, with a newspaper on his lap, watching his girls through the big open window as they ironed and chatted in Danish. The clouds of white dust that blew up the street and the gusts of hot wind that dried out his vegetable garden never disturbed his calm. His amusing expression seemed to suggest that he had discovered the secret to happiness. Morning and evening, he drove around in his spring wagon, delivering freshly ironed clothes and picking up bags of linen that were ready for his soapsuds and sunny drying lines. His girls never looked as pretty at the dances as they did standing by the ironing board or over the tubs washing the delicate pieces, their bare white arms and necks, cheeks as bright as the most vibrant wild roses, their golden hair damp with steam or heat, curling in tiny spirals around their ears. They hadn’t learned much English and weren’t as ambitious as Tony or Lena; but they were kind, simple girls, and they were always happy. When you danced with them, you could smell their clean, freshly ironed clothes that had been stored with rosemary leaves from Mr. Jensen’s garden.

There were never girls enough to go round at those dances, but every one wanted a turn with Tony and Lena. Lena moved without exertion, rather indolently, and her hand often accented the rhythm softly on her partner’s shoulder. She smiled if one spoke to her, but seldom answered. The music seemed to put her into a soft, waking dream, and her violet-colored eyes looked sleepily and confidingly at one from under her long lashes. When she sighed she exhaled a heavy perfume of sachet powder. To dance “Home, Sweet Home,” with Lena was like coming in with the tide. She danced every dance like a waltz, and it was always the same waltz—the waltz of coming home to something, of inevitable, fated return. After a while one got restless under it, as one does under the heat of a soft, sultry summer day.

There were never enough girls to go around at those dances, but everyone wanted to dance with Tony and Lena. Lena moved effortlessly, almost lazily, and her hand often lightly tapped the rhythm on her partner’s shoulder. She smiled if someone spoke to her, but rarely replied. The music seemed to place her in a gentle, waking dream, and her violet-colored eyes looked sleepily and trustingly at you from beneath her long lashes. When she sighed, she released a strong scent of sachet powder. Dancing to “Home, Sweet Home” with Lena felt like being swept in with the tide. She danced every dance like a waltz, and it was always the same waltz—the waltz of returning home to something, of an inevitable, fated comeback. After a while, it became restless, like that feeling on a warm, humid summer day.

When you spun out into the floor with Tony, you did n’t return to anything. You set out every time upon a new adventure. I liked to schottische with her; she had so much spring and variety, and was always putting in new steps and slides. She taught me to[pg 254] dance against and around the hard-and-fast beat of the music. If, instead of going to the end of the railroad, old Mr. Shimerda had stayed in New York and picked up a living with his fiddle, how different Ántonia’s life might have been!

When you spun out onto the dance floor with Tony, you didn’t go back to anything. Each time, you embarked on a new adventure. I loved to schottische with her; she had so much energy and variety, always adding new steps and slides. She taught me to[pg 254] dance around the strong beat of the music. If, instead of going to the end of the railroad, old Mr. Shimerda had stayed in New York and made a living playing his fiddle, how different Ántonia’s life might have been!

Ántonia often went to the dances with Larry Donovan, a passenger conductor who was a kind of professional ladies’ man, as we said. I remember how admiringly all the boys looked at her the night she first wore her velveteen dress, made like Mrs. Gardener’s black velvet. She was lovely to see, with her eyes shining, and her lips always a little parted when she danced. That constant, dark color in her cheeks never changed.

Ántonia often went to the dances with Larry Donovan, a passenger conductor who was something of a professional ladies’ man, as we used to say. I remember how all the boys admired her the night she first wore her velveteen dress, made like Mrs. Gardener’s black velvet one. She looked beautiful, with her eyes shining and her lips slightly parted when she danced. The constant, dark color in her cheeks never changed.

One evening when Donovan was out on his run, Ántonia came to the hall with Norwegian Anna and her young man, and that night I took her home. When we were in the Cutter’s yard, sheltered by the evergreens, I told her she must kiss me good-night.

One evening when Donovan was out for his run, Ántonia came to the hall with Norwegian Anna and her boyfriend, and that night I took her home. When we were in the Cutter’s yard, tucked away by the evergreens, I told her she had to kiss me goodnight.

“Why, sure, Jim.” A moment later she drew her face away and whispered indignantly, “Why, Jim! You know you ain’t right to kiss me like that. I’ll tell your grandmother on you!”

“Of course, Jim.” A moment later, she pulled her face away and whispered angrily, “Jim! You know it's not okay to kiss me like that. I’m going to tell your grandmother!”

[pg 255]

“Lena Lingard lets me kiss her,” I retorted, “and I’m not half as fond of her as I am of you.”

“Lena Lingard lets me kiss her,” I replied, “and I’m not even close to being as fond of her as I am of you.”

“Lena does?” Tony gasped. “If she’s up to any of her nonsense with you, I’ll scratch her eyes out!” She took my arm again and we walked out of the gate and up and down the sidewalk. “Now, don’t you go and be a fool like some of these town boys. You’re not going to sit around here and whittle store-boxes and tell stories all your life. You are going away to school and make something of yourself. I’m just awful proud of you. You won’t go and get mixed up with the Swedes, will you?”

“Lena does?” Tony exclaimed. “If she pulls any of her nonsense with you, I’ll make sure she pays for it!” She grabbed my arm again, and we walked out of the gate, pacing up and down the sidewalk. “Now, don’t you go and be a fool like some of these local guys. You’re not going to just sit around here whittling store-boxes and telling stories for the rest of your life. You’re going away to school to make something of yourself. I’m really proud of you. You won’t get involved with the Swedes, will you?”

“I don’t care anything about any of them but you,” I said. “And you’ll always treat me like a kid, I suppose.”

“I don’t care about any of them except you,” I said. “And I guess you’ll always see me as a kid.”

She laughed and threw her arms around me. “I expect I will, but you’re a kid I’m awful fond of, anyhow! You can like me all you want to, but if I see you hanging round with Lena much, I’ll go to your grandmother, as sure as your name’s Jim Burden! Lena’s all right, only—well, you know yourself she’s soft that way. She can’t help it. It’s natural to her.”

She laughed and wrapped her arms around me. “I guess I will, but I really like you a lot, anyway! You can like me as much as you want, but if I see you hanging out with Lena too much, I’ll definitely go talk to your grandmother, just like your name is Jim Burden! Lena’s fine, but—well, you know she’s kind of sensitive. She can’t help it. It’s just who she is.”

If she was proud of me, I was so proud of her[pg 256] that I carried my head high as I emerged from the dark cedars and shut the Cutters’ gate softly behind me. Her warm, sweet face, her kind arms, and the true heart in her; she was, oh, she was still my Ántonia! I looked with contempt at the dark, silent little houses about me as I walked home, and thought of the stupid young men who were asleep in some of them. I knew where the real women were, though I was only a boy; and I would not be afraid of them, either!

If she was proud of me, I was so proud of her[pg 256] that I held my head high as I stepped out from the dark cedars and gently closed the Cutters’ gate behind me. Her warm, sweet face, her caring arms, and her genuine heart—she was, oh, she was still my Ántonia! As I walked home, I looked down at the dark, quiet little houses around me with contempt and thought about the clueless young men who were sleeping in some of them. I knew where the real women were, even though I was just a boy; and I wouldn’t be scared of them, either!

I hated to enter the still house when I went home from the dances, and it was long before I could get to sleep. Toward morning I used to have pleasant dreams: sometimes Tony and I were out in the country, sliding down straw-stacks as we used to do; climbing up the yellow mountains over and over, and slipping down the smooth sides into soft piles of chaff.

I hated going into the quiet house when I got home from the dances, and it took a long time for me to fall asleep. Towards morning, I would have nice dreams: sometimes Tony and I were out in the countryside, sliding down straw stacks like we used to; climbing up the yellow mountains over and over, and sliding down the smooth sides into soft piles of chaff.

One dream I dreamed a great many times, and it was always the same. I was in a harvest-field full of shocks, and I was lying against one of them. Lena Lingard came across the stubble barefoot, in a short skirt, with a curved reaping-hook in her hand, and she was flushed like the dawn, with a kind of luminous rosiness all about her. She sat down beside me, turned to[pg 257] me with a soft sigh and said, “Now they are all gone, and I can kiss you as much as I like.”

One dream I had many times, and it was always the same. I was in a harvest field full of stacks of grain, lying against one of them. Lena Lingard walked across the stubble barefoot, wearing a short skirt and holding a curved reaping hook in her hand, looking vibrant like the dawn, with a glowing rosy aura around her. She sat down next to me, turned to me with a gentle sigh, and said, “Now that they’re all gone, I can kiss you as much as I want.”

I used to wish I could have this flattering dream about Ántonia, but I never did.

I always wished I could have this flattering dream about Ántonia, but I never did.


[pg 258]

XIII

I noticed one afternoon that grandmother had been crying. Her feet seemed to drag as she moved about the house, and I got up from the table where I was studying and went to her, asking if she did n’t feel well, and if I could n’t help her with her work.

I saw one afternoon that my grandmother had been crying. Her feet seemed to drag as she moved around the house, so I got up from the table where I was studying and went to her, asking if she wasn’t feeling well, and if I could help her with her work.

“No, thank you, Jim. I’m troubled, but I guess I’m well enough. Getting a little rusty in the bones, maybe,” she added bitterly.

“No, thanks, Jim. I’m feeling a bit off, but I suppose I’m okay. Just a little stiff in the joints, maybe,” she added bitterly.

I stood hesitating. “What are you fretting about, grandmother? Has grandfather lost any money?”

I stood there hesitating. “What are you worried about, grandma? Did grandpa lose any money?”

“No, it ain’t money. I wish it was. But I’ve heard things. You must ’a’ known it would come back to me sometime.” She dropped into a chair, and covering her face with her apron, began to cry. “Jim,” she said, “I was never one that claimed old folks could bring up their grandchildren. But it came about so; there was n’t any other way for you, it seemed like.”

“No, it’s not about the money. I wish it were. But I’ve heard things. You must have known it would find its way back to me eventually.” She sank into a chair and covered her face with her apron, starting to cry. “Jim,” she said, “I never thought old people could raise their grandchildren. But it just turned out that way; there didn’t seem to be any other option for you.”

I put my arms around her. I could n’t bear to see her cry.

I wrapped my arms around her. I couldn't stand to see her cry.

[pg 259]

“What is it, grandmother? Is it the Firemen’s dances?”

“What is it, Grandma? Is it the firemen's dances?”

She nodded.

She agreed.

“I’m sorry I sneaked off like that. But there’s nothing wrong about the dances, and I have n’t done anything wrong. I like all those country girls, and I like to dance with them. That’s all there is to it.”

“Sorry I slipped away like that. But there's nothing wrong with the dances, and I haven't done anything wrong. I like all those country girls, and I enjoy dancing with them. That's all there is to it.”

“But it ain’t right to deceive us, son, and it brings blame on us. People say you are growing up to be a bad boy, and that ain’t just to us.”

“But it’s not right to deceive us, son, and it reflects poorly on us. People say you’re turning into a bad boy, and that’s not just how we see it.”

“I don’t care what they say about me, but if it hurts you, that settles it. I won’t go to the Firemen’s Hall again.”

“I don’t care what they say about me, but if it hurts you, that’s it. I won’t go to the Firemen’s Hall again.”

I kept my promise, of course, but I found the spring months dull enough. I sat at home with the old people in the evenings now, reading Latin that was not in our High-School course. I had made up my mind to do a lot of college requirement work in the summer, and to enter the freshman class at the University without conditions in the fall. I wanted to get away as soon as possible.

I kept my promise, of course, but I found the spring months pretty boring. I spent my evenings at home with the older folks, reading Latin that wasn’t part of our High School curriculum. I had decided to get a lot of college prep work done over the summer, so I could start as a freshman at the University without any issues in the fall. I just wanted to get away as soon as I could.

Disapprobation hurt me, I found,—even that of people whom I did not admire. As the spring came on, I grew more and more lonely,[pg 260] and fell back on the telegrapher and the cigar-maker and his canaries for companionship. I remember I took a melancholy pleasure in hanging a May-basket for Nina Harling that spring. I bought the flowers from an old German woman who always had more window plants than any one else, and spent an afternoon trimming a little work-basket. When dusk came on, and the new moon hung in the sky, I went quietly to the Harlings’ front door with my offering, rang the bell, and then ran away as was the custom. Through the willow hedge I could hear Nina’s cries of delight, and I felt comforted.

Disapproval hurt me, I realized—even from people I didn't admire. As spring arrived, I became lonelier and relied more and more on the telegrapher, the cigar-maker, and his canaries for company. I remember taking a bittersweet pleasure in hanging a May basket for Nina Harling that spring. I bought the flowers from an old German woman who always had more potted plants than anyone else, and spent an afternoon decorating a small work basket. When dusk came and the new moon was in the sky, I quietly went to the Harlings’ front door with my gift, rang the bell, and then ran away, as was customary. Through the willow hedge, I could hear Nina’s delighted cries, and that gave me comfort.

On those warm, soft spring evenings I often lingered downtown to walk home with Frances, and talked to her about my plans and about the reading I was doing. One evening she said she thought Mrs. Harling was not seriously offended with me.

On those warm, soft spring evenings, I often stayed downtown to walk home with Frances and talked to her about my plans and the reading I was doing. One evening, she said she didn’t think Mrs. Harling was seriously upset with me.

“Mama is as broad-minded as mothers ever are, I guess. But you know she was hurt about Ántonia, and she can’t understand why you like to be with Tiny and Lena better than with the girls of your own set.”

“Mama is as open-minded as mothers usually are, I suppose. But you know she was upset about Ántonia, and she can’t understand why you prefer hanging out with Tiny and Lena rather than the girls from your own group.”

“Can you?” I asked bluntly.

"Can you?" I asked directly.

Frances laughed. “Yes, I think I can. You[pg 261] knew them in the country, and you like to take sides. In some ways you’re older than boys of your age. It will be all right with mama after you pass your college examinations and she sees you’re in earnest.”

Frances laughed. “Yes, I think I can. You[pg 261] knew them in the country, and you like to take sides. In some ways, you’re more mature than other boys your age. Things will be fine with mom once you pass your college exams and she sees you’re serious.”

“If you were a boy,” I persisted, “you would n’t belong to the Owl Club, either. You’d be just like me.”

“If you were a boy,” I insisted, “you wouldn’t be part of the Owl Club, either. You’d be just like me.”

She shook her head. “I would and I would n’t. I expect I know the country girls better than you do. You always put a kind of glamour over them. The trouble with you, Jim, is that you’re romantic. Mama’s going to your Commencement. She asked me the other day if I knew what your oration is to be about. She wants you to do well.”

She shook her head. “I would and I wouldn’t. I think I know the country girls better than you do. You always make them seem more glamorous than they are. The problem with you, Jim, is that you’re too romantic. Mom is going to your graduation. She asked me the other day if I knew what your speech is about. She wants you to do well.”

I thought my oration very good. It stated with fervor a great many things I had lately discovered. Mrs. Harling came to the Opera House to hear the Commencement exercises, and I looked at her most of the time while I made my speech. Her keen, intelligent eyes never left my face. Afterward she came back to the dressing-room where we stood, with our diplomas in our hands, walked up to me, and said heartily: “You surprised me, Jim. I did n’t believe you could do as well as that.[pg 262] You did n’t get that speech out of books.” Among my graduation presents there was a silk umbrella from Mrs. Harling, with my name on the handle.

I thought my speech was really good. It passionately expressed many things I had recently discovered. Mrs. Harling came to the Opera House to hear the graduation ceremony, and I looked at her most of the time while I spoke. Her sharp, thoughtful eyes stayed focused on my face. Afterward, she came back to the dressing room where we were standing with our diplomas in hand, walked up to me, and said sincerely: “You surprised me, Jim. I didn’t think you could do that well. You didn’t pull that speech from books.” Among my graduation gifts, there was a silk umbrella from Mrs. Harling, with my name on the handle.[pg 262]

I walked home from the Opera House alone. As I passed the Methodist Church, I saw three white figures ahead of me, pacing up and down under the arching maple trees, where the moonlight filtered through the lush June foliage. They hurried toward me; they were waiting for me—Lena and Tony and Anna Hansen.

I walked home from the Opera House by myself. As I went by the Methodist Church, I noticed three white figures in front of me, walking back and forth under the arching maple trees, where the moonlight streamed through the lush June leaves. They rushed toward me; they were waiting for me—Lena, Tony, and Anna Hansen.

“Oh, Jim, it was splendid!” Tony was breathing hard, as she always did when her feelings outran her language. “There ain’t a lawyer in Black Hawk could make a speech like that. I just stopped your grandpa and said so to him. He won’t tell you, but he told us he was awful surprised himself, did n’t he, girls?”

“Oh, Jim, it was amazing!” Tony was breathing heavily, as she always did when her emotions got ahead of her words. “There isn't a lawyer in Black Hawk who could give a speech like that. I just stopped your grandpa and told him so. He won't admit it, but he said he was really surprised himself, right, girls?”

Lena sidled up to me and said teasingly: “What made you so solemn? I thought you were scared. I was sure you’d forget.”

Lena came over to me and teased, “What made you so serious? I thought you were scared. I really thought you’d forget.”

Anna spoke wistfully. “It must make you happy, Jim, to have fine thoughts like that in your mind all the time, and to have words to put them in. I always wanted to go to school, you know.”

Anna spoke with a touch of longing. “It must make you happy, Jim, to have such wonderful thoughts in your head all the time and to have the words to express them. I always wanted to go to school, you know.”

[pg 263]

“Oh, I just sat there and wished my papa could hear you! Jim,”—Ántonia took hold of my coat lapels,—“there was something in your speech that made me think so about my papa!”

“Oh, I just sat there and wished my dad could hear you! Jim,”—Ántonia grabbed my coat lapels,—“there was something in your speech that made me think of my dad!”

“I thought about your papa when I wrote my speech, Tony,” I said. “I dedicated it to him.”

“I thought about your dad when I wrote my speech, Tony,” I said. “I dedicated it to him.”

She threw her arms around me, and her dear face was all wet with tears.

She wrapped her arms around me, and her sweet face was all wet with tears.

I stood watching their white dresses glimmer smaller and smaller down the sidewalk as they went away. I have had no other success that pulled at my heartstrings like that one.

I stood there watching their white dresses shimmer smaller and smaller down the sidewalk as they walked away. I haven't had any other success that tugged at my heart like that one.


[pg 264]

XIV

The day after Commencement I moved my books and desk upstairs, to an empty room where I should be undisturbed, and I fell to studying in earnest. I worked off a year’s trigonometry that summer, and began Virgil alone. Morning after morning I used to pace up and down my sunny little room, looking off at the distant river bluffs and the roll of the blond pastures between, scanning the Æneid aloud and committing long passages to memory. Sometimes in the evening Mrs. Harling called to me as I passed her gate, and asked me to come in and let her play for me. She was lonely for Charley, she said, and liked to have a boy about. Whenever my grandparents had misgivings, and began to wonder whether I was not too young to go off to college alone, Mrs. Harling took up my cause vigorously. Grandfather had such respect for her judgment that I knew he would not go against her.

The day after Commencement, I moved my books and desk upstairs to an empty room where I could study without interruptions, and I got to work seriously. I finished a year of trigonometry that summer and started reading Virgil on my own. Morning after morning, I paced around my sunny little room, gazing at the distant river bluffs and the rolling golden pastures in between, reciting the Æneid out loud and memorizing long passages. Sometimes in the evening, Mrs. Harling would call to me as I passed her gate, inviting me to come in and let her play music for me. She said she was lonely for Charley and enjoyed having a boy around. Whenever my grandparents had doubts and wondered if I was too young to go off to college by myself, Mrs. Harling would strongly defend my case. Grandfather held her judgment in such high regard that I knew he wouldn’t go against her.

I had only one holiday that summer. It was in July. I met Ántonia downtown on[pg 265] Saturday afternoon, and learned that she and Tiny and Lena were going to the river next day with Anna Hansen—the elder was all in bloom now, and Anna wanted to make elder-blow wine.

I had only one vacation that summer. It was in July. I met Ántonia downtown on[pg 265] Saturday afternoon and found out that she, Tiny, and Lena were going to the river the next day with Anna Hansen—elderflowers were in full bloom now, and Anna wanted to make elderflower wine.

“Anna’s to drive us down in the Marshalls’ delivery wagon, and we’ll take a nice lunch and have a picnic. Just us; nobody else. Could n’t you happen along, Jim? It would be like old times.”

“Anna’s going to drive us down in the Marshalls’ delivery wagon, and we’ll grab some lunch and have a picnic. Just us; nobody else. Couldn’t you join us, Jim? It would be just like old times.”

I considered a moment. “Maybe I can, if I won’t be in the way.”

I thought for a moment. “Maybe I can, as long as I’m not in the way.”

On Sunday morning I rose early and got out of Black Hawk while the dew was still heavy on the long meadow grasses. It was the high season for summer flowers. The pink bee-bush stood tall along the sandy roadsides, and the cone-flowers and rose mallow grew everywhere. Across the wire fence, in the long grass, I saw a clump of flaming orange-colored milkweed, rare in that part of the State. I left the road and went around through a stretch of pasture that was always cropped short in summer, where the gaillardia came up year after year and matted over the ground with the deep, velvety red that is in Bokhara carpets. The country was empty and solitary except for the[pg 266] larks that Sunday morning, and it seemed to lift itself up to me and to come very close.

On Sunday morning, I woke up early and got out of Black Hawk while the dew was still heavy on the long meadow grasses. It was prime time for summer flowers. The pink bee-bush stood tall by the sandy roadsides, and cone-flowers and rose mallow were everywhere. Across the wire fence, in the tall grass, I spotted a cluster of bright orange milkweed, which is rare in that part of the state. I stepped off the road and made my way through a section of pasture that was always grazed short in the summer, where gaillardia blossomed year after year, covering the ground with deep, velvety red like that seen in Bokhara carpets. The area was empty and quiet except for the larks that Sunday morning, and it seemed to reach out to me and draw me in close.

The river was running strong for midsummer; heavy rains to the west of us had kept it full. I crossed the bridge and went upstream along the wooded shore to a pleasant dressing-room I knew among the dogwood bushes, all overgrown with wild grapevines. I began to undress for a swim. The girls would not be along yet. For the first time it occurred to me that I would be homesick for that river after I left it. The sandbars, with their clean white beaches and their little groves of willows and cottonwood seedlings, were a sort of No Man’s Land, little newly-created worlds that belonged to the Black Hawk boys. Charley Harling and I had hunted through these woods, fished from the fallen logs, until I knew every inch of the river shores and had a friendly feeling for every bar and shallow.

The river was flowing strong for midsummer; heavy rains to the west had kept it full. I crossed the bridge and followed the wooded shore upstream to a nice spot I knew among the dogwood bushes, completely covered in wild grapevines. I started to undress for a swim. The girls wouldn’t be here yet. For the first time, it struck me that I would miss that river after I left. The sandbars, with their clean white beaches and little groves of willows and cottonwood seedlings, were like a No Man’s Land, small newly-created worlds that belonged to the Black Hawk boys. Charley Harling and I had explored these woods and fished from the fallen logs until I knew every inch of the riverbanks and felt a connection to every bar and shallow.

After my swim, while I was playing about indolently in the water, I heard the sound of hoofs and wheels on the bridge. I struck downstream and shouted, as the open spring wagon came into view on the middle span. They stopped the horse, and the two girls in the bottom of the cart stood up, steadying[pg 267] themselves by the shoulders of the two in front, so that they could see me better. They were charming up there, huddled together in the cart and peering down at me like curious deer when they come out of the thicket to drink. I found bottom near the bridge and stood up, waving to them.

After my swim, while I was lazily playing in the water, I heard the sound of hooves and wheels on the bridge. I swam downstream and shouted as the open spring wagon came into view on the middle span. They halted the horse, and the two girls in the back of the cart stood up, steadying themselves by the shoulders of the two in front so they could see me better. They looked lovely up there, huddled together in the cart and peering down at me like curious deer coming out of the thicket to drink. I found my footing near the bridge and stood up, waving to them.

“How pretty you look!” I called.

“How pretty you look!” I said.

“So do you!” they shouted altogether, and broke into peals of laughter. Anna Hansen shook the reins and they drove on, while I zigzagged back to my inlet and clambered up behind an overhanging elm. I dried myself in the sun, and dressed slowly, reluctant to leave that green enclosure where the sunlight flickered so bright through the grapevine leaves and the woodpecker hammered away in the crooked elm that trailed out over the water. As I went along the road back to the bridge I kept picking off little pieces of scaly chalk from the dried water gullies, and breaking them up in my hands.

“So do you!” they all shouted together, bursting into laughter. Anna Hansen shook the reins, and they drove on, while I zigzagged back to my cove and climbed up behind an overhanging elm. I dried off in the sun and dressed slowly, not wanting to leave that green space where the sunlight flickered so brightly through the grapevine leaves and the woodpecker kept hammering away at the crooked elm that stretched out over the water. As I walked along the road back to the bridge, I kept picking off little pieces of scaly chalk from the dried-up gullies and breaking them apart in my hands.

When I came upon the Marshalls’ delivery horse, tied in the shade, the girls had already taken their baskets and gone down the east road which wound through the sand and scrub. I could hear them calling to each other. The[pg 268] elder bushes did not grow back in the shady ravines between the bluffs, but in the hot, sandy bottoms along the stream, where their roots were always in moisture and their tops in the sun. The blossoms were unusually luxuriant and beautiful that summer.

When I found the Marshalls’ delivery horse, tied up in the shade, the girls had already grabbed their baskets and headed down the east road that twisted through the sand and scrub. I could hear them calling to each other. The elder bushes didn’t grow back in the cool ravines between the bluffs, but in the hot, sandy areas along the stream, where their roots were always in moisture and their tops in the sun. The blossoms were especially lush and beautiful that summer.

I followed a cattle path through the thick underbrush until I came to a slope that fell away abruptly to the water’s edge. A great chunk of the shore had been bitten out by some spring freshet, and the scar was masked by elder bushes, growing down to the water in flowery terraces. I did not touch them. I was overcome by content and drowsiness and by the warm silence about me. There was no sound but the high, sing-song buzz of wild bees and the sunny gurgle of the water underneath. I peeped over the edge of the bank to see the little stream that made the noise; it flowed along perfectly clear over the sand and gravel, cut off from the muddy main current by a long sandbar. Down there, on the lower shelf of the bank, I saw Ántonia, seated alone under the pagoda-like elders. She looked up when she heard me, and smiled, but I saw that she had been crying. I slid down into the soft sand beside her and asked her what was the matter.

I followed a cattle path through the thick underbrush until I came to a slope that dropped sharply to the water's edge. A large piece of the shore had been washed away by some spring freshet, and the scar was hidden by elder bushes growing down to the water in flowery terraces. I didn’t touch them. I was filled with contentment and drowsiness, surrounded by the warm silence. The only sounds were the high, sing-song buzz of wild bees and the cheerful gurgle of the water below. I peeked over the edge of the bank to see the little stream making the noise; it flowed perfectly clear over the sand and gravel, separated from the muddy main current by a long sandbar. Down there, on the lower shelf of the bank, I saw Ántonia, sitting alone under the pagoda-like elders. She looked up when she heard me and smiled, but I could see she had been crying. I slid down into the soft sand beside her and asked what was wrong.

[pg 269]

“It makes me homesick, Jimmy, this flower, this smell,” she said softly. “We have this flower very much at home, in the old country. It always grew in our yard and my papa had a green bench and a table under the bushes. In summer, when they were in bloom, he used to sit there with his friend that played the trombone. When I was little I used to go down there to hear them talk—beautiful talk, like what I never hear in this country.”

“It makes me feel nostalgic, Jimmy, this flower, this smell,” she said softly. “We had this flower a lot back home, in the old country. It always grew in our yard, and my dad had a green bench and a table under the bushes. In the summer, when they were blooming, he would sit there with his friend who played the trombone. When I was little, I would go down there to listen to them talk—beautiful conversations, like nothing I ever hear in this country.”

“What did they talk about?” I asked her.

“What did they talk about?” I asked her.

She sighed and shook her head. “Oh, I don’t know! About music, and the woods, and about God, and when they were young.” She turned to me suddenly and looked into my eyes. “You think, Jimmy, that maybe my father’s spirit can go back to those old places?”

She sighed and shook her head. “Oh, I don’t know! About music, the woods, God, and when they were young.” She suddenly turned to me and looked into my eyes. “Do you think, Jimmy, that maybe my father’s spirit can return to those old places?”

I told her about the feeling of her father’s presence I had on that winter day when my grandparents had gone over to see his dead body and I was left alone in the house. I said I felt sure then that he was on his way back to his own country, and that even now, when I passed his grave, I always thought of him as being among the woods and fields that were so dear to him.

I told her about the feeling I got from her father’s presence on that winter day when my grandparents went to see his body and left me alone in the house. I said I was sure then that he was making his way back to his homeland, and even now, when I pass by his grave, I always picture him in the woods and fields that he loved so much.

Ántonia had the most trusting, responsive[pg 270] eyes in the world; love and credulousness seemed to look out of them with open faces. “Why did n’t you ever tell me that before? It makes me feel more sure for him.” After a while she said: “You know, Jim, my father was different from my mother. He did not have to marry my mother, and all his brothers quarreled with him because he did. I used to hear the old people at home whisper about it. They said he could have paid my mother money, and not married her. But he was older than she was, and he was too kind to treat her like that. He lived in his mother’s house, and she was a poor girl come in to do the work. After my father married her, my grandmother never let my mother come into her house again. When I went to my grandmother’s funeral was the only time I was ever in my grandmother’s house. Don’t that seem strange?”

Ántonia had the most trusting, expressive eyes in the world; love and naivety seemed to shine through them. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that before? It makes me feel more confident about him.” After a while, she said, “You know, Jim, my dad was different from my mom. He didn’t have to marry my mom, and all his brothers argued with him because he did. I used to hear the older people at home whisper about it. They said he could have just paid my mom money and not married her. But he was older than she was, and he was too kind to treat her that way. He lived in his mother’s house, and she was a poor girl who came to work. After my dad married her, my grandmother never allowed my mom back in her house. The only time I was ever in my grandmother’s house was when I went to her funeral. Doesn't that seem strange?”

While she talked, I lay back in the hot sand and looked up at the blue sky between the flat bouquets of elder. I could hear the bees humming and singing, but they stayed up in the sun above the flowers and did not come down into the shadow of the leaves. Ántonia seemed to me that day exactly like the[pg 271] little girl who used to come to our house with Mr. Shimerda.

While she was talking, I lay back in the warm sand and looked up at the blue sky through the flat clusters of elderflowers. I could hear the bees buzzing and humming, but they stayed up in the sunlight above the flowers and didn’t come down into the shade of the leaves. Ántonia seemed to me that day just like the[pg 271] little girl who used to come to our house with Mr. Shimerda.

“Some day, Tony, I am going over to your country, and I am going to the little town where you lived. Do you remember all about it?”

“Someday, Tony, I’m going to your country, and I’m going to the little town where you lived. Do you remember everything about it?”

“Jim,” she said earnestly, “if I was put down there in the middle of the night, I could find my way all over that little town; and along the river to the next town, where my grandmother lived. My feet remember all the little paths through the woods, and where the big roots stick out to trip you. I ain’t never forgot my own country.”

“Jim,” she said sincerely, “if I was dropped down there in the middle of the night, I could navigate that little town easily; and follow the river to the next town, where my grandmother lived. My feet remember all the little paths through the woods, and where the big roots stick out to trip you. I’ve never forgotten my own home.”

There was a crackling in the branches above us, and Lena Lingard peered down over the edge of the bank.

There was a crackling in the branches above us, and Lena Lingard leaned over the edge of the bank to look down.

“You lazy things!” she cried. “All this elder, and you two lying there! Did n’t you hear us calling you?” Almost as flushed as she had been in my dream, she leaned over the edge of the bank and began to demolish our flowery pagoda. I had never seen her so energetic; she was panting with zeal, and the perspiration stood in drops on her short, yielding upper lip. I sprang to my feet and ran up the bank.

“You lazy people!” she shouted. “All this elderberry, and you two just lying there! Didn’t you hear us calling you?” Almost as red as she had been in my dream, she leaned over the edge of the bank and started to tear down our flowery pagoda. I had never seen her so full of energy; she was breathing hard with excitement, and sweat was beading on her short, soft upper lip. I jumped to my feet and ran up the bank.

[pg 272]

It was noon now, and so hot that the dogwoods and scrub-oaks began to turn up the silvery under-side of their leaves, and all the foliage looked soft and wilted. I carried the lunch-basket to the top of one of the chalk bluffs, where even on the calmest days there was always a breeze. The flat-topped, twisted little oaks threw light shadows on the grass. Below us we could see the windings of the river, and Black Hawk, grouped among its trees, and, beyond, the rolling country, swelling gently until it met the sky. We could recognize familiar farmhouses and windmills. Each of the girls pointed out to me the direction in which her father’s farm lay, and told me how many acres were in wheat that year and how many in corn.

It was noon now, and so hot that the dogwoods and scrub oaks were starting to turn their silvery undersides up, making all the leaves look soft and wilted. I carried the lunch basket to the top of one of the chalk bluffs, where there was always a breeze even on the calmest days. The flat-topped, twisted little oaks cast light shadows on the grass. Below us, we could see the winding river, with Black Hawk nestled among its trees, and beyond that, the rolling countryside gently rising until it met the sky. We could recognize familiar farmhouses and windmills. Each of the girls pointed out to me where her father’s farm was located, telling me how many acres were planted with wheat that year and how many with corn.

“My old folks,” said Tiny Soderball, “have put in twenty acres of rye. They get it ground at the mill, and it makes nice bread. It seems like my mother ain’t been so homesick, ever since father’s raised rye flour for her.”

“My parents,” said Tiny Soderball, “have planted twenty acres of rye. They have it ground at the mill, and it makes great bread. It seems like my mom hasn’t been as homesick ever since Dad started making rye flour for her.”

“It must have been a trial for our mothers,” said Lena, “coming out here and having to do everything different. My mother had always lived in town. She says she started behind in farm-work, and never has caught up.”

“It must have been really tough for our moms,” Lena said, “moving out here and having to do everything differently. My mom always lived in town. She says she started out behind in farm work and has never been able to catch up.”

[pg 273]

“Yes, a new country’s hard on the old ones, sometimes,” said Anna thoughtfully. “My grandmother’s getting feeble now, and her mind wanders. She’s forgot about this country, and thinks she’s at home in Norway. She keeps asking mother to take her down to the waterside and the fish market. She craves fish all the time. Whenever I go home I take her canned salmon and mackerel.”

“Yes, a new country can be tough on the old ones sometimes,” Anna said thoughtfully. “My grandmother is getting weak now, and her mind drifts. She’s forgotten about this country and thinks she’s back home in Norway. She keeps asking my mom to take her to the waterfront and the fish market. She craves fish all the time. Whenever I go home, I bring her canned salmon and mackerel.”

“Mercy, it’s hot!” Lena yawned. She was supine under a little oak, resting after the fury of her elder-hunting, and had taken off the high-heeled slippers she had been silly enough to wear. “Come here, Jim. You never got the sand out of your hair.” She began to draw her fingers slowly through my hair.

“Wow, it’s so hot!” Lena yawned. She lay back under a small oak tree, resting after the intense elder-hunting, and had kicked off the high-heeled shoes she had been foolish enough to wear. “Come here, Jim. You still have sand in your hair.” She started to run her fingers slowly through my hair.

Ántonia pushed her away. “You’ll never get it out like that,” she said sharply. She gave my head a rough touzling and finished me off with something like a box on the ear. “Lena, you ought n’t to try to wear those slippers any more. They’re too small for your feet. You’d better give them to me for Yulka.”

Ántonia pushed her away. “You’ll never get it out like that,” she said sharply. She messed up my hair and topped it off with a light slap on the ear. “Lena, you shouldn’t try to wear those slippers anymore. They’re too small for your feet. You’d better give them to me for Yulka.”

“All right,” said Lena good-naturedly, tucking her white stockings under her skirt. “You get all Yulka’s things, don’t you? I[pg 274] wish father did n’t have such bad luck with his farm machinery; then I could buy more things for my sisters. I’m going to get Mary a new coat this fall, if the sulky plough’s never paid for!”

“Okay,” Lena said with a smile, tucking her white stockings under her skirt. “You get all of Yulka’s stuff, right? I wish Dad didn’t have such bad luck with his farm equipment; then I could buy more for my sisters. I’m planning to get Mary a new coat this fall, even if the sulky plow never gets paid off!”

Tiny asked her why she did n’t wait until after Christmas, when coats would be cheaper. “What do you think of poor me?” she added; “with six at home, younger than I am? And they all think I’m rich, because when I go back to the country I’m dressed so fine!” She shrugged her shoulders. “But, you know, my weakness is playthings. I like to buy them playthings better than what they need.”

Tiny asked her why she didn’t wait until after Christmas when coats would be cheaper. “What do you think about poor me?” she added; “with six younger siblings at home? And they all think I’m rich because when I go back to the country, I’m dressed so nicely!” She shrugged her shoulders. “But you know, my weakness is toys. I prefer to buy them toys rather than what they actually need.”

“I know how that is,” said Anna. “When we first came here, and I was little, we were too poor to buy toys. I never got over the loss of a doll somebody gave me before we left Norway. A boy on the boat broke her, and I still hate him for it.”

“I get that,” said Anna. “When we first moved here and I was a kid, we didn't have enough money to buy toys. I never really got over losing a doll someone gave me before we left Norway. A boy on the boat broke her, and I still can't stand him for it.”

“I guess after you got here you had plenty of live dolls to nurse, like me!” Lena remarked cynically.

“I guess once you arrived, you had a lot of live dolls to take care of, like me!” Lena said with a sarcastic tone.

“Yes, the babies came along pretty fast, to be sure. But I never minded. I was fond of them all. The youngest one, that we did n’t any of us want, is the one we love best now.”

“Yes, the babies arrived pretty quickly, that’s for sure. But I never minded. I cared for all of them. The youngest one, whom none of us wanted, is the one we love the most now.”

[pg 275]

Lena sighed. “Oh, the babies are all right; if only they don’t come in winter. Ours nearly always did. I don’t see how mother stood it. I tell you what girls,” she sat up with sudden energy; “I’m going to get my mother out of that old sod house where she’s lived so many years. The men will never do it. Johnnie, that’s my oldest brother, he’s wanting to get married now, and build a house for his girl instead of his mother. Mrs. Thomas says she thinks I can move to some other town pretty soon, and go into business for myself. If I don’t get into business, I’ll maybe marry a rich gambler.”

Lena sighed. “Oh, the babies are fine; if only they don’t arrive in winter. Ours almost always did. I don’t know how Mom handled it. I’ll tell you what, girls,” she sat up with sudden energy; “I’m going to get my mom out of that old sod house she’s lived in for so many years. The guys will never do it. Johnnie, my oldest brother, wants to get married now and build a house for his girlfriend instead of his mom. Mrs. Thomas thinks I can move to another town pretty soon and start my own business. If I don’t start a business, I might end up marrying a rich gambler.”

“That would be a poor way to get on,” said Anna sarcastically. “I wish I could teach school, like Selma Kronn. Just think! She’ll be the first Scandinavian girl to get a position in the High School. We ought to be proud of her.”

“That would be a bad way to move forward,” said Anna sarcastically. “I wish I could teach, like Selma Kronn. Just imagine! She’ll be the first Scandinavian girl to get a job in high school. We should be proud of her.”

Selma was a studious girl, who had not much tolerance for giddy things like Tiny and Lena; but they always spoke of her with admiration.

Selma was a serious girl who didn't have much patience for silly things like Tiny and Lena, but they always talked about her with admiration.

Tiny moved about restlessly, fanning herself with her straw hat. “If I was smart like her, I’d be at my books day and night. But[pg 276] she was born smart—and look how her father’s trained her! He was something high up in the old country.”

Tiny moved around uneasily, waving her straw hat to cool herself. “If I were as smart as she is, I’d be studying day and night. But[pg 276] she was just born smart—and look at how her father has taught her! He was someone important back in the old country.”

“So was my mother’s father,” murmured Lena, “but that’s all the good it does us! My father’s father was smart, too, but he was wild. He married a Lapp. I guess that’s what’s the matter with me; they say Lapp blood will out.”

“So was my mom’s dad,” murmured Lena, “but that doesn’t help us! My dad’s dad was smart, too, but he was a handful. He married a Lapp. I suppose that’s what’s wrong with me; they say Lapp blood shows itself.”

“A real Lapp, Lena?” I exclaimed. “The kind that wear skins?”

“A real Lapp, Lena?” I said. “The kind that wears skins?”

“I don’t know if she wore skins, but she was a Lapp all right, and his folks felt dreadful about it. He was sent up north on some Government job he had, and fell in with her. He would marry her.”

“I’m not sure if she wore animal skins, but she was definitely a Lapp, and his family felt terrible about it. He went up north for some government job he had and ended up with her. He wanted to marry her.”

“But I thought Lapland women were fat and ugly, and had squint eyes, like Chinese?” I objected.

“But I thought Lapland women were overweight and unattractive, with squinted eyes like Chinese people?” I protested.

“I don’t know, maybe. There must be something mighty taking about the Lapp girls, though; mother says the Norwegians up north are always afraid their boys will run after them.”

“I don’t know, maybe. There has to be something really impressive about the Lapp girls, though; my mom says the Norwegians up north are always worried their boys will chase after them.”

In the afternoon, when the heat was less oppressive, we had a lively game of “Pussy Wants a Corner,” on the flat bluff-top, with[pg 277] the little trees for bases. Lena was Pussy so often that she finally said she would n’t play any more. We threw ourselves down on the grass, out of breath.

In the afternoon, when it wasn't as hot, we had an energetic game of “Pussy Wants a Corner” on the flat bluff-top, using the little trees as bases. Lena played Pussy so many times that she eventually said she wouldn’t play anymore. We collapsed on the grass, catching our breath.

“Jim,” Ántonia said dreamily, “I want you to tell the girls about how the Spanish first came here, like you and Charley Harling used to talk about. I’ve tried to tell them, but I leave out so much.”

“Jim,” Ántonia said thoughtfully, “I want you to tell the girls about how the Spanish first arrived here, like you and Charley Harling used to discuss. I’ve tried to explain, but I leave out so much.”

They sat under a little oak, Tony resting against the trunk and the other girls leaning against her and each other, and listened to the little I was able to tell them about Coronado and his search for the Seven Golden Cities. At school we were taught that he had not got so far north as Nebraska, but had given up his quest and turned back somewhere in Kansas. But Charley Harling and I had a strong belief that he had been along this very river. A farmer in the county north of ours, when he was breaking sod, had turned up a metal stirrup of fine workmanship, and a sword with a Spanish inscription on the blade. He lent these relics to Mr. Harling, who brought them home with him. Charley and I scoured them, and they were on exhibition in the Harling office all summer. Father Kelly, the[pg 278] priest, had found the name of the Spanish maker on the sword, and an abbreviation that stood for the city of Cordova.

They sat under a small oak tree, Tony leaning against the trunk while the other girls rested against her and each other, and listened to what little I could share about Coronado and his quest for the Seven Golden Cities. In school, we learned that he never reached as far north as Nebraska, but gave up his search and turned back somewhere in Kansas. However, Charley Harling and I firmly believed he had traveled along this very river. A farmer in the county north of ours, while plowing his field, discovered a finely crafted metal stirrup and a sword with a Spanish inscription on the blade. He lent these artifacts to Mr. Harling, who brought them home. Charley and I examined them closely, and they were displayed in the Harling office all summer. Father Kelly, the [pg 278] priest, had identified the name of the Spanish maker on the sword, along with an abbreviation that stood for the city of Cordova.

“And that I saw with my own eyes,” Ántonia put in triumphantly. “So Jim and Charley were right, and the teachers were wrong!”

“And I saw it with my own eyes,” Ántonia said triumphantly. “So Jim and Charley were right, and the teachers were wrong!”

The girls began to wonder among themselves. Why had the Spaniards come so far? What must this country have been like, then? Why had Coronado never gone back to Spain, to his riches and his castles and his king? I could n’t tell them. I only knew the school books said he “died in the wilderness, of a broken heart.”

The girls started to ask each other questions. Why did the Spaniards come all this way? What must this country have been like back then? Why did Coronado never return to Spain, to his wealth, his castles, and his king? I couldn’t answer them. All I knew was what the textbooks said: he “died in the wilderness, of a broken heart.”

“More than him has done that,” said Ántonia sadly, and the girls murmured assent.

“More than he has done that,” said Ántonia sadly, and the girls nodded in agreement.

We sat looking off across the country, watching the sun go down. The curly grass about us was on fire now. The bark of the oaks turned red as copper. There was a shimmer of gold on the brown river. Out in the stream the sandbars glittered like glass, and the light trembled in the willow thickets as if little flames were leaping among them. The breeze sank to stillness. In the ravine a ringdove mourned plaintively, and somewhere[pg 279] off in the bushes an owl hooted. The girls sat listless, leaning against each other. The long fingers of the sun touched their foreheads.

We sat looking out across the countryside, watching the sun set. The curly grass around us was glowing now. The bark of the oaks turned a red hue like copper. There was a shimmer of gold on the brown river. In the stream, the sandbars sparkled like glass, and the light danced in the willow thickets as if little flames were jumping among them. The breeze became still. In the ravine, a ringdove mournfully cooed, and somewhere[pg 279] in the bushes, an owl hooted. The girls sat quietly, leaning against each other. The long fingers of the sun brushed their foreheads.

Presently we saw a curious thing: There were no clouds, the sun was going down in a limpid, gold-washed sky. Just as the lower edge of the red disc rested on the high fields against the horizon, a great black figure suddenly appeared on the face of the sun. We sprang to our feet, straining our eyes toward it. In a moment we realized what it was. On some upland farm, a plough had been left standing in the field. The sun was sinking just behind it. Magnified across the distance by the horizontal light, it stood out against the sun, was exactly contained within the circle of the disc; the handles, the tongue, the share—black against the molten red. There it was, heroic in size, a picture writing on the sun.

Right now, we saw something strange: There were no clouds, and the sun was setting in a clear, golden sky. Just as the lower edge of the red sun touched the high fields on the horizon, a large black figure suddenly appeared on its surface. We jumped to our feet, straining to see what it was. In a moment, we figured it out. On some distant farm, a plow had been left in the field. The sun was sinking right behind it. Magnified by the warm light, it stood out against the sun, perfectly framed within the circle of light; the handles, the tongue, the blade—black against the glowing red. It was there, larger than life, like a picture written on the sun.

Even while we whispered about it, our vision disappeared; the ball dropped and dropped until the red tip went beneath the earth. The fields below us were dark, the sky was growing pale, and that forgotten plough had sunk back to its own littleness somewhere on the prairie.

Even as we quietly talked about it, our sight faded; the ball fell and fell until the red tip vanished below the ground. The fields beneath us were dark, the sky was becoming lighter, and that neglected plow had shrunk back to its own smallness somewhere on the prairie.


[pg 280]

XV

Late in August the Cutters went to Omaha for a few days, leaving Ántonia in charge of the house. Since the scandal about the Swedish girl, Wick Cutter could never get his wife to stir out of Black Hawk without him.

Late in August, the Cutters headed to Omaha for a few days, leaving Ántonia in charge of the house. Ever since the scandal about the Swedish girl, Wick Cutter couldn't get his wife to leave Black Hawk without him.

The day after the Cutters left, Ántonia came over to see us. Grandmother noticed that she seemed troubled and distracted. “You’ve got something on your mind, Ántonia,” she said anxiously.

The day after the Cutters left, Ántonia came over to see us. Grandmother noticed that she seemed upset and distracted. “You have something on your mind, Ántonia,” she said anxiously.

“Yes, Mrs. Burden. I could n’t sleep much last night.” She hesitated, and then told us how strangely Mr. Cutter had behaved before he went away. He put all the silver in a basket and placed it under her bed, and with it a box of papers which he told her were valuable. He made her promise that she would not sleep away from the house, or be out late in the evening, while he was gone. He strictly forbade her to ask any of the girls she knew to stay with her at night. She would be perfectly safe, he said, as he had just put a new Yale lock on the front door.

“Yes, Mrs. Burden. I couldn’t sleep much last night.” She paused, then shared how oddly Mr. Cutter had acted before he left. He put all the silver in a basket and tucked it under her bed, along with a box of papers that he claimed were valuable. He made her promise not to stay away from the house or be out late while he was gone. He strictly told her not to ask any of her friends to stay with her at night. He said she would be perfectly safe since he had just installed a new Yale lock on the front door.

[pg 281]

Cutter had been so insistent in regard to these details that now she felt uncomfortable about staying there alone. She had n’t liked the way he kept coming into the kitchen to instruct her, or the way he looked at her. “I feel as if he is up to some of his tricks again, and is going to try to scare me, somehow.”

Cutter had been so pushy about these details that now she felt uneasy about being there alone. She hadn’t liked how he kept coming into the kitchen to tell her what to do, or the way he stared at her. “I feel like he’s up to his old tricks again and is going to try to scare me somehow.”

Grandmother was apprehensive at once. “I don’t think it’s right for you to stay there, feeling that way. I suppose it would n’t be right for you to leave the place alone, either, after giving your word. Maybe Jim would be willing to go over there and sleep, and you could come here nights. I’d feel safer, knowing you were under my own roof. I guess Jim could take care of their silver and old usury notes as well as you could.”

Grandmother was immediately worried. “I don’t think it’s right for you to stay there, feeling like that. I suppose it wouldn’t be right for you to leave the place alone, either, after you gave your word. Maybe Jim would be willing to go over there and sleep, and you could come here at night. I’d feel safer knowing you were under my roof. I guess Jim could take care of their silver and old loan documents just as well as you could.”

Ántonia turned to me eagerly. “Oh, would you, Jim? I’d make up my bed nice and fresh for you. It’s a real cool room, and the bed’s right next the window. I was afraid to leave the window open last night.”

Ántonia turned to me with excitement. “Oh, would you, Jim? I’d make my bed nice and fresh for you. It’s a really cool room, and the bed’s right next to the window. I was worried to leave the window open last night.”

I liked my own room, and I did n’t like the Cutters’ house under any circumstances; but Tony looked so troubled that I consented to try this arrangement. I found that I slept there as well as anywhere, and when I got[pg 282] home in the morning, Tony had a good breakfast waiting for me. After prayers she sat down at the table with us, and it was like old times in the country.

I liked my own room, and I didn't like the Cutters' house at all; but Tony looked so worried that I agreed to give this arrangement a shot. I found that I slept there just as well as anywhere else, and when I got[pg 282] home in the morning, Tony had a nice breakfast ready for me. After prayers, she joined us at the table, and it felt like the good old days in the countryside.

The third night I spent at the Cutters’, I awoke suddenly with the impression that I had heard a door open and shut. Everything was still, however, and I must have gone to sleep again immediately.

The third night I spent at the Cutters’, I woke up abruptly thinking I heard a door open and close. Everything was quiet, though, and I must have fallen back asleep right away.

The next thing I knew, I felt some one sit down on the edge of the bed. I was only half awake, but I decided that he might take the Cutters’ silver, whoever he was. Perhaps if I did not move, he would find it and get out without troubling me. I held my breath and lay absolutely still. A hand closed softly on my shoulder, and at the same moment I felt something hairy and cologne-scented brushing my face. If the room had suddenly been flooded with electric light, I could n’t have seen more clearly the detestable bearded countenance that I knew was bending over me. I caught a handful of whiskers and pulled, shouting something. The hand that held my shoulder was instantly at my throat. The man became insane; he stood over me, choking me with one fist and beating me in[pg 283] the face with the other, hissing and chuckling and letting out a flood of abuse.

The next thing I knew, I felt someone sit down on the edge of the bed. I was only half awake, but I figured he might go for the Cutters’ silver, whoever he was. Maybe if I didn’t move, he’d find it and leave without bothering me. I held my breath and lay completely still. A hand gently closed on my shoulder, and at the same time, I felt something hairy and smelling of cologne brushing against my face. If the room had suddenly been flooded with electric light, I couldn’t have seen more clearly the disgusting bearded face I knew was looming over me. I grabbed a handful of whiskers and yanked, shouting something. The hand on my shoulder immediately moved to my throat. The man went berserk; he towered over me, choking me with one hand and hitting me in the face with the other, hissing and chuckling while unleashing a stream of insults.

“So this is what she’s up to when I’m away, is it? Where is she, you nasty whelp, where is she? Under the bed, are you, hussy? I know your tricks! Wait till I get at you! I’ll fix this rat you’ve got in here. He’s caught, all right!”

“So this is what she’s doing while I’m away, huh? Where is she, you little brat, where is she? Under the bed, are you, you little minx? I know your games! Just wait until I get my hands on you! I’ll deal with this rat you’ve got hiding here. He’s trapped, for sure!”

So long as Cutter had me by the throat, there was no chance for me at all. I got hold of his thumb and bent it back, until he let go with a yell. In a bound, I was on my feet, and easily sent him sprawling to the floor. Then I made a dive for the open window, struck the wire screen, knocked it out, and tumbled after it into the yard.

As long as Cutter had me by the throat, I didn't stand a chance. I grabbed his thumb and bent it back until he yelled and let go. In a flash, I was on my feet and easily knocked him down to the floor. Then I dove for the open window, hit the wire screen, knocked it out, and fell after it into the yard.

Suddenly I found myself running across the north end of Black Hawk in my nightshirt, just as one sometimes finds one’s self behaving in bad dreams. When I got home I climbed in at the kitchen window. I was covered with blood from my nose and lip, but I was too sick to do anything about it. I found a shawl and an overcoat on the hatrack, lay down on the parlor sofa, and in spite of my hurts, went to sleep.

Suddenly, I was running across the north end of Black Hawk in my nightshirt, like you do in a bad dream. When I got home, I climbed in through the kitchen window. I was covered in blood from my nose and lip, but I felt too sick to deal with it. I found a shawl and an overcoat on the hat rack, lay down on the living room sofa, and despite my injuries, fell asleep.

Grandmother found me there in the[pg 284] morning. Her cry of fright awakened me. Truly, I was a battered object. As she helped me to my room, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My lip was cut and stood out like a snout. My nose looked like a big blue plum, and one eye was swollen shut and hideously discolored. Grandmother said we must have the doctor at once, but I implored her, as I had never begged for anything before, not to send for him. I could stand anything, I told her, so long as nobody saw me or knew what had happened to me. I entreated her not to let grandfather, even, come into my room. She seemed to understand, though I was too faint and miserable to go into explanations. When she took off my nightshirt, she found such bruises on my chest and shoulders that she began to cry. She spent the whole morning bathing and poulticing me, and rubbing me with arnica. I heard Ántonia sobbing outside my door, but I asked grandmother to send her away. I felt that I never wanted to see her again. I hated her almost as much as I hated Cutter. She had let me in for all this disgustingness. Grandmother kept saying how thankful we ought to be that I had been there instead of Ántonia. But I lay with my[pg 285] disfigured face to the wall and felt no particular gratitude. My one concern was that grandmother should keep every one away from me. If the story once got abroad, I would never hear the last of it. I could well imagine what the old men down at the drug-store would do with such a theme.

Grandmother found me there in the[pg 284] morning. Her scream of fright woke me up. Honestly, I looked like a wreck. As she helped me to my room, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My lip was cut and protruded like a snout. My nose resembled a big blue plum, and one eye was swollen shut and grotesquely discolored. Grandmother insisted we needed to call the doctor immediately, but I begged her, more desperately than I ever had for anything, not to get him. I told her I could handle anything as long as no one saw me or found out what happened. I pleaded with her not to let grandfather come into my room, either. She seemed to get it, even though I was too weak and miserable to explain. When she took off my nightshirt, she saw so many bruises on my chest and shoulders that she started to cry. She spent the entire morning bathing and treating me, rubbing me with arnica. I heard Ántonia crying outside my door, but I asked grandmother to send her away. I felt like I never wanted to see her again. I hated her almost as much as I hated Cutter. She was the one who got me into this horrible situation. Grandmother kept saying how lucky we should feel that I was the one there instead of Ántonia. But I lay there with my[pg 285] disfigured face to the wall and felt no gratitude at all. My only concern was that grandmother kept everyone away from me. If the story got out, I would never hear the end of it. I could easily picture what the old men down at the drugstore would do with such a story.

While grandmother was trying to make me comfortable, grandfather went to the depot and learned that Wick Cutter had come home on the night express from the east, and had left again on the six o’clock train for Denver that morning. The agent said his face was striped with court-plaster, and he carried his left hand in a sling. He looked so used up, that the agent asked him what had happened to him since ten o’clock the night before; whereat Cutter began to swear at him and said he would have him discharged for incivility.

While Grandma was trying to make me comfortable, Grandpa went to the station and found out that Wick Cutter had come home on the night express from the east and had left again on the six o'clock train to Denver that morning. The agent said his face was covered in court-plaster, and he had his left arm in a sling. He looked so worn out that the agent asked him what had happened since ten o'clock the night before. Cutter then started swearing at him and claimed he would get him fired for being rude.

That afternoon, while I was asleep, Ántonia took grandmother with her, and went over to the Cutters’ to pack her trunk. They found the place locked up, and they had to break the window to get into Ántonia’s bedroom. There everything was in shocking disorder. Her clothes had been taken out of her closet, thrown into the middle of the room, and[pg 286] trampled and torn. My own garments had been treated so badly that I never saw them again; grandmother burned them in the Cutters’ kitchen range.

That afternoon, while I was sleeping, Ántonia took my grandmother with her and headed over to the Cutters’ place to pack her trunk. They found the door locked, so they had to break a window to get into Ántonia’s bedroom. Inside, everything was a complete mess. Her clothes had been pulled out of the closet, thrown all over the room, and trampled on and torn. My own clothes were treated so poorly that I never saw them again; my grandmother burned them in the Cutters’ kitchen stove.

While Ántonia was packing her trunk and putting her room in order, to leave it, the front-door bell rang violently. There stood Mrs. Cutter,—locked out, for she had no key to the new lock—her head trembling with rage. “I advised her to control herself, or she would have a stroke,” grandmother said afterwards.

While Ántonia was packing her trunk and tidying up her room to leave, the front doorbell rang loudly. There stood Mrs. Cutter—locked out since she didn’t have a key to the new lock—her head shaking with anger. “I told her to calm down, or she might give herself a stroke,” grandmother said later.

Grandmother would not let her see Ántonia at all, but made her sit down in the parlor while she related to her just what had occurred the night before. Ántonia was frightened, and was going home to stay for a while, she told Mrs. Cutter; it would be useless to interrogate the girl, for she knew nothing of what had happened.

Grandmother wouldn’t let her see Ántonia at all, but made her sit in the living room while she explained what had happened the night before. Ántonia was scared and told Ms. Cutter that she was going home to stay for a while; it would be pointless to question the girl because she didn’t know anything about what had happened.

Then Mrs. Cutter told her story. She and her husband had started home from Omaha together the morning before. They had to stop over several hours at Waymore Junction to catch the Black Hawk train. During the wait, Cutter left her at the depot and went to the Waymore bank to attend to some business. When he returned, he told her that he[pg 287] would have to stay overnight there, but she could go on home. He bought her ticket and put her on the train. She saw him slip a twenty-dollar bill into her handbag with her ticket. That bill, she said, should have aroused her suspicions at once—but did not.

Then Mrs. Cutter told her story. She and her husband had started their trip back home from Omaha together the morning before. They had to wait for several hours at Waymore Junction to catch the Black Hawk train. During the wait, Cutter left her at the depot and went to the Waymore bank to take care of some business. When he came back, he told her that he would have to stay overnight there, but she could go home. He bought her ticket and put her on the train. She noticed him slip a twenty-dollar bill into her handbag along with her ticket. That bill, she said, should have raised her suspicions right away—but it didn’t.

The trains are never called at little junction towns; everybody knows when they come in. Mr. Cutter showed his wife’s ticket to the conductor, and settled her in her seat before the train moved off. It was not until nearly nightfall that she discovered she was on the express bound for Kansas City, that her ticket was made out to that point, and that Cutter must have planned it so. The conductor told her the Black Hawk train was due at Waymore twelve minutes after the Kansas City train left. She saw at once that her husband had played this trick in order to get back to Black Hawk without her. She had no choice but to go on to Kansas City and take the first fast train for home.

The trains aren't announced in small junction towns; everyone knows when they arrive. Mr. Cutter showed the conductor his wife's ticket and got her settled in her seat before the train took off. It wasn't until nearly nightfall that she realized she was on the express to Kansas City, that her ticket was for that destination, and that Cutter must have arranged it that way. The conductor informed her that the Black Hawk train would arrive at Waymore twelve minutes after the Kansas City train left. She quickly understood that her husband had pulled this trick to return to Black Hawk without her. She had no choice but to continue to Kansas City and catch the next fast train home.

Cutter could have got home a day earlier than his wife by any one of a dozen simpler devices; he could have left her in the Omaha hotel, and said he was going on to Chicago for[pg 288] a few days. But apparently it was part of his fun to outrage her feelings as much as possible.

Cutter could have gotten home a day earlier than his wife using any one of a dozen easier options; he could have left her at the Omaha hotel and claimed he was heading to Chicago for a few days. But it seemed like part of his enjoyment was to hurt her feelings as much as he could.

Mr. Cutter will pay for this, Mrs. Burden. He will pay!” Mrs. Cutter avouched, nodding her horselike head and rolling her eyes.

Mr. Cutter will pay for this, Ms. Burden. He will pay!” Ms. Cutter insisted, nodding her horse-like head and rolling her eyes.

Grandmother said she had n’t a doubt of it.

Grandmother said she had no doubt about it.

Certainly Cutter liked to have his wife think him a devil. In some way he depended upon the excitement he could arouse in her hysterical nature. Perhaps he got the feeling of being a rake more from his wife’s rage and amazement than from any experiences of his own. His zest in debauchery might wane, but never Mrs. Cutter’s belief in it. The reckoning with his wife at the end of an escapade was something he counted on—like the last powerful liqueur after a long dinner. The one excitement he really could n’t do without was quarreling with Mrs. Cutter!

Certainly, Cutter liked to have his wife think of him as a devil. In some way, he relied on the thrill he could provoke in her dramatic nature. Maybe he felt more like a rogue from his wife’s anger and shock than from any of his own experiences. His enthusiasm for indulgence might fade, but Mrs. Cutter's belief in it never would. The confrontation with his wife after an escapade was something he looked forward to—like the final strong drink after a long dinner. The one excitement he truly couldn’t do without was arguing with Mrs. Cutter!


[pg 291]

Book III—Lena Lingard

I

At the University I had the good fortune to come immediately under the influence of a brilliant and inspiring young scholar. Gaston Cleric had arrived in Lincoln only a few weeks earlier than I, to begin his work as head of the Latin Department. He came West at the suggestion of his physicians, his health having been enfeebled by a long illness in Italy. When I took my entrance examinations he was my examiner, and my course was arranged under his supervision.

At the University I was lucky to be directly influenced by a brilliant and inspiring young scholar. Gaston Cleric had arrived in Lincoln just a few weeks before me to start his role as head of the Latin Department. He had come West on his doctors' advice because his health had suffered due to a long illness in Italy. When I took my entrance exams, he was the one examining me, and he arranged my course under his supervision.

I did not go home for my first summer vacation, but stayed in Lincoln, working off a year’s Greek, which had been my only condition on entering the Freshman class. Cleric’s doctor advised against his going back to New England, and except for a few weeks in Colorado, he, too, was in Lincoln all that summer. We played tennis, read, and took long walks together. I shall always look back on that[pg 292] time of mental awakening as one of the happiest in my life. Gaston Cleric introduced me to the world of ideas; when one first enters that world everything else fades for a time, and all that went before is as if it had not been. Yet I found curious survivals; some of the figures of my old life seemed to be waiting for me in the new.

I didn't go home for my first summer vacation; instead, I stayed in Lincoln, catching up on a year's worth of Greek, which was my only requirement for joining the Freshman class. Cleric’s doctor advised against him returning to New England, so except for a few weeks in Colorado, he was also in Lincoln that summer. We played tennis, read, and took long walks together. I'll always remember that[pg 292] period of mental awakening as one of the happiest times in my life. Gaston Cleric opened my eyes to a world of ideas; when you first step into that world, everything else fades away for a while, and what came before feels like it never happened. Yet, I noticed some strange remnants; a few figures from my old life seemed to be waiting for me in the new one.

In those days there were many serious young men among the students who had come up to the University from the farms and the little towns scattered over the thinly settled State. Some of those boys came straight from the cornfields with only a summer’s wages in their pockets, hung on through the four years, shabby and underfed, and completed the course by really heroic self-sacrifice. Our instructors were oddly assorted; wandering pioneer school-teachers, stranded ministers of the Gospel, a few enthusiastic young men just out of graduate schools. There was an atmosphere of endeavor, of expectancy and bright hopefulness about the young college that had lifted its head from the prairie only a few years before.

Back then, there were a lot of serious young men among the students who had come to the University from farms and small towns spread across the sparsely populated State. Some of these guys arrived straight from the cornfields with just a summer's wages in their pockets, struggling through four years, looking worn and undernourished, and finished their studies through truly heroic sacrifices. Our instructors were quite a mix; wandering pioneer schoolteachers, stranded ministers, and a few eager young men fresh out of graduate schools. There was a vibe of effort, anticipation, and bright optimism surrounding the young college that had just emerged from the prairie a few years earlier.

Our personal life was as free as that of our instructors. There were no college dormitories;[pg 293] we lived where we could and as we could. I took rooms with an old couple, early settlers in Lincoln, who had married off their children and now lived quietly in their house at the edge of town, near the open country. The house was inconveniently situated for students, and on that account I got two rooms for the price of one. My bedroom, originally a linen closet, was unheated and was barely large enough to contain my cot bed, but it enabled me to call the other room my study. The dresser, and the great walnut wardrobe which held all my clothes, even my hats and shoes, I had pushed out of the way, and I considered them non-existent, as children eliminate incongruous objects when they are playing house. I worked at a commodious green-topped table placed directly in front of the west window which looked out over the prairie. In the corner at my right were all my books, in shelves I had made and painted myself. On the blank wall at my left the dark, old-fashioned wall-paper was covered by a large map of ancient Rome, the work of some German scholar. Cleric had ordered it for me when he was sending for books from abroad. Over the bookcase hung a[pg 294] photograph of the Tragic Theater at Pompeii, which he had given me from his collection.

Our personal lives were as free as those of our instructors. There were no college dorms; [pg 293] we lived wherever we could. I rented a room from an elderly couple who were early settlers in Lincoln. They had married off their children and now lived quietly in their house at the edge of town, close to the countryside. The house wasn't conveniently located for students, so I got two rooms for the price of one. My bedroom, which used to be a linen closet, was unheated and barely big enough for my cot, but it allowed me to call the other room my study. I pushed the dresser and the large walnut wardrobe, which held all my clothes, including my hats and shoes, out of the way and considered them non-existent, like how kids ignore things that don’t fit into their imaginary play. I worked at a spacious green-topped table placed right in front of the west window that looked out over the prairie. To my right, in custom shelves I made and painted myself, were all my books. On the blank wall to my left, the dark, old-fashioned wallpaper was covered by a large map of ancient Rome, created by some German scholar. Cleric had ordered it for me when he was sending for books from abroad. Above the bookcase hung a[pg 294] photograph of the Tragic Theater at Pompeii, which he had given me from his collection.

When I sat at work I half faced a deep, upholstered chair which stood at the end of my table, its high back against the wall. I had bought it with great care. My instructor sometimes looked in upon me when he was out for an evening tramp, and I noticed that he was more likely to linger and become talkative if I had a comfortable chair for him to sit in, and if he found a bottle of Bénédictine and plenty of the kind of cigarettes he liked, at his elbow. He was, I had discovered, parsimonious about small expenditures—a trait absolutely inconsistent with his general character. Sometimes when he came he was silent and moody, and after a few sarcastic remarks went away again, to tramp the streets of Lincoln, which were almost as quiet and oppressively domestic as those of Black Hawk. Again, he would sit until nearly midnight, talking about Latin and English poetry, or telling me about his long stay in Italy.

When I sat at my desk, I faced a comfortable, upholstered chair that was tucked at the end of my table, its tall back resting against the wall. I had chosen it carefully. My instructor would occasionally drop by during his evening walks, and I noticed he was more likely to stick around and chat if I had a cozy chair for him and if he found a bottle of Bénédictine and his favorite cigarettes within reach. I realized he was stingy when it came to small expenses—a quality that seemed out of character for him. Sometimes he would come by feeling quiet and gloomy, and after a few biting comments, he would leave again to wander the streets of Lincoln, which felt almost as quiet and suffocatingly homey as those of Black Hawk. Other times, he would stay until nearly midnight, discussing Latin and English poetry or sharing stories about his long time in Italy.

I can give no idea of the peculiar charm and vividness of his talk. In a crowd he was nearly always silent. Even for his classroom he had no platitudes, no stock of professorial[pg 295] anecdotes. When he was tired his lectures were clouded, obscure, elliptical; but when he was interested they were wonderful. I believe that Gaston Cleric narrowly missed being a great poet, and I have sometimes thought that his bursts of imaginative talk were fatal to his poetic gift. He squandered too much in the heat of personal communication. How often I have seen him draw his dark brows together, fix his eyes upon some object on the wall or a figure in the carpet, and then flash into the lamplight the very image that was in his brain. He could bring the drama of antique life before one out of the shadows—white figures against blue backgrounds. I shall never forget his face as it looked one night when he told me about the solitary day he spent among the sea temples at Paestum: the soft wind blowing through the roofless columns, the birds flying low over the flowering marsh grasses, the changing lights on the silver, cloud-hung mountains. He had willfully stayed the short summer night there, wrapped in his coat and rug, watching the constellations on their path down the sky until “the bride of old Tithonus” rose out of the sea, and the mountains stood sharp in the dawn. It[pg 296] was there he caught the fever which held him back on the eve of his departure for Greece and of which he lay ill so long in Naples. He was still, indeed, doing penance for it.

I can't fully express the unique charm and vividness of his conversations. In a crowd, he was almost always quiet. Even in his classroom, he didn't rely on clichés or the usual professor anecdotes. When he was tired, his lectures were unclear and scattered; but when he was engaged, they were amazing. I believe that Gaston Cleric almost became a great poet, and I've sometimes thought that his bursts of imaginative talk hindered his poetic talent. He poured too much energy into personal communication. I often saw him furrow his dark brows, fix his gaze on something on the wall or a design in the carpet, and then illuminate the very image that was in his mind. He could bring ancient life's drama to life from the shadows—white figures against blue backgrounds. I will never forget his expression one night when he shared with me about the lonely day he spent among the sea temples at Paestum: the gentle wind flowing through the roofless columns, the birds gliding low over the blooming marsh grasses, the shifting lights on the silver, cloud-draped mountains. He had deliberately lingered through the short summer night there, wrapped in his coat and blanket, watching the stars as they moved across the sky until “the bride of old Tithonus” emerged from the sea, and the mountains became distinct in the dawn. It was there he caught the fever that kept him back just before he was set to leave for Greece, and of which he was ill for so long in Naples. He was still, indeed, atoning for it.

I remember vividly another evening, when something led us to talk of Dante’s veneration for Virgil. Cleric went through canto after canto of the “Commedia,” repeating the discourse between Dante and his “sweet teacher,” while his cigarette burned itself out unheeded between his long fingers. I can hear him now, speaking the lines of the poet Statius, who spoke for Dante: “I was famous on earth with the name which endures longest and honors most. The seeds of my ardor were the sparks from that divine flame whereby more than a thousand have kindled; I speak of the Æneid, mother to me and nurse to me in poetry.

I clearly remember another evening when we ended up discussing Dante’s admiration for Virgil. Cleric went through canto after canto of the “Commedia,” reciting the exchange between Dante and his “sweet teacher,” while his cigarette burned down unnoticed between his long fingers. I can still hear him now, reciting the lines of the poet Statius, who spoke for Dante: “I was well-known on Earth by a name that has lasted the longest and is most esteemed. The roots of my passion were the sparks from that divine fire that has ignited the spirits of more than a thousand. I’m talking about the Æneid, which is both my mother and my nurture in poetry.

Although I admired scholarship so much in Cleric, I was not deceived about myself; I knew that I should never be a scholar. I could never lose myself for long among impersonal things. Mental excitement was apt to send me with a rush back to my own naked land and the figures scattered upon it. While I was in the very act of yearning toward the new forms that Cleric brought up before me, my[pg 297] mind plunged away from me, and I suddenly found myself thinking of the places and people of my own infinitesimal past. They stood out strengthened and simplified now, like the image of the plough against the sun. They were all I had for an answer to the new appeal. I begrudged the room that Jake and Otto and Russian Peter took up in my memory, which I wanted to crowd with other things. But whenever my consciousness was quickened, all those early friends were quickened within it, and in some strange way they accompanied me through all my new experiences. They were so much alive in me that I scarcely stopped to wonder whether they were alive anywhere else, or how.

Even though I respected Cleric's scholarship a lot, I wasn't fooled about myself; I knew I would never be a scholar. I could never get lost for long in abstract concepts. Mental excitement had a way of sending me rushing back to my own raw land and the figures scattered across it. While I was longing for the new ideas that Cleric presented to me, my[pg 297] mind would suddenly drift away, and I found myself thinking about the places and people from my own tiny past. They stood out, clearer and simpler now, like the silhouette of a plow against the sun. They were all I had to respond to the new ideas. I resented the space that Jake, Otto, and Russian Peter occupied in my memory, which I wanted to fill with other things. But whenever I felt energized, those early friends came back to life in my thoughts, and in some odd way, they accompanied me through all my new experiences. They were so vivid in my mind that I hardly paused to think about whether they were alive anywhere else, or how.


[pg 298]

II

One March evening in my Sophomore year I was sitting alone in my room after supper. There had been a warm thaw all day, with mushy yards and little streams of dark water gurgling cheerfully into the streets out of old snow-banks. My window was open, and the earthy wind blowing through made me indolent. On the edge of the prairie, where the sun had gone down, the sky was turquoise blue, like a lake, with gold light throbbing in it. Higher up, in the utter clarity of the western slope, the evening star hung like a lamp suspended by silver chains—like the lamp engraved upon the title-page of old Latin texts, which is always appearing in new heavens, and waking new desires in men. It reminded me, at any rate, to shut my window and light my wick in answer. I did so regretfully, and the dim objects in the room emerged from the shadows and took their place about me with the helpfulness which custom breeds.

One March evening during my sophomore year, I was sitting alone in my room after dinner. It had been a warm day of thawing, with mushy yards and little streams of dark water flowing happily into the streets from the melting snowbanks. My window was open, and the earthy wind coming in made me feel lazy. On the edge of the prairie, where the sun had set, the sky was a turquoise blue, like a lake, with golden light shimmering in it. Higher up, in the clear western sky, the evening star hung like a lamp suspended by silver chains—like the lamp illustrated on the title page of old Latin books, which always seems to appear in new skies, igniting fresh desires in people. It reminded me to shut my window and light my wick in response. I did so reluctantly, and the dim objects in the room emerged from the shadows and took their places around me with the familiarity that comes from routine.

I propped my book open and stared listlessly at the page of the Georgics where[pg 299] to-morrow’s lesson began. It opened with the melancholy reflection that, in the lives of mortals, the best days are the first to flee. “Optima dies … prima fugit.” I turned back to the beginning of the third book, which we had read in class that morning. “Primus ego in patriam mecum … deducam Musas”; “for I shall be the first, if I live, to bring the Muse into my country.” Cleric had explained to us that “patria” here meant, not a nation or even a province, but the little rural neighborhood on the Mincio where the poet was born. This was not a boast, but a hope, at once bold and devoutly humble, that he might bring the Muse (but lately come to Italy from her cloudy Grecian mountains), not to the capital, the palatia Romana, but to his own little “country”; to his father’s fields, “sloping down to the river and to the old beech trees with broken tops.”

I propped my book open and stared blankly at the page of the Georgics where[pg 299] tomorrow’s lesson began. It started with the sad thought that, in the lives of people, the best days are the first to go. “The best days … fly by first.” I flipped back to the beginning of the third book, which we had read in class that morning. “First, I will bring the Muses to my homeland...”; “for I shall be the first, if I live, to bring the Muse into my country.” The teacher had explained to us that “homeland” here referred not to a nation or even a region, but to the small rural neighborhood by the Mincio where the poet was born. This wasn’t a boast, but a hope, both bold and humbly devout, that he might bring the Muse (who had recently arrived in Italy from her cloudy Greek mountains), not to the capital, the Roman palace, but to his little “country”; to his father’s fields, “sloping down to the river and to the old beech trees with broken tops.”

Cleric said he thought Virgil, when he was dying at Brindisi, must have remembered that passage. After he had faced the bitter fact that he was to leave the Æneid unfinished, and had decreed that the great canvas, crowded with figures of gods and men, should be burned rather than survive him unperfected, then his[pg 300] mind must have gone back to the perfect utterance of the Georgics, where the pen was fitted to the matter as the plough is to the furrow; and he must have said to himself with the thankfulness of a good man, “I was the first to bring the Muse into my country.”

Cleric said he thought Virgil, when he was dying in Brindisi, must have remembered that part. After facing the harsh reality that he was leaving the Æneid unfinished and deciding that the grand artwork, filled with images of gods and men, should be destroyed rather than exist incomplete, his[pg 300] mind must have gone back to the flawless expression of the Georgics, where the writing fit the subject as perfectly as the plow fits the furrow; and he must have said to himself with the gratitude of a good person, “I was the first to bring the Muse into my country.”

We left the classroom quietly, conscious that we had been brushed by the wing of a great feeling, though perhaps I alone knew Cleric intimately enough to guess what that feeling was. In the evening, as I sat staring at my book, the fervor of his voice stirred through the quantities on the page before me. I was wondering whether that particular rocky strip of New England coast about which he had so often told me was Cleric’s patria. Before I had got far with my reading I was disturbed by a knock. I hurried to the door and when I opened it saw a woman standing in the dark hall.

We left the classroom quietly, aware that we had felt the touch of something deep and powerful, though maybe I was the only one who understood Cleric well enough to guess what that feeling was. In the evening, while I was staring at my book, the passion in his voice resonated through the text in front of me. I wondered if that specific rocky stretch of New England coast he often talked about was Cleric’s homeland. Before I got far with my reading, I was interrupted by a knock. I rushed to the door, and when I opened it, I saw a woman standing in the dark hallway.

“I expect you hardly know me, Jim.”

“I guess you barely know me, Jim.”

The voice seemed familiar, but I did not recognize her until she stepped into the light of my doorway and I beheld—Lena Lingard! She was so quietly conventionalized by city clothes that I might have passed her on the street without seeing her. Her black suit fitted[pg 301] her figure smoothly, and a black lace hat, with pale-blue forget-me-nots, sat demurely on her yellow hair.

The voice sounded familiar, but I didn’t recognize her until she stepped into the light of my doorway, and I realized—Lena Lingard! She looked so traditionally dressed in her city clothes that I could have walked right past her without noticing. Her black suit fitted her figure perfectly, and a black lace hat, adorned with pale-blue forget-me-nots, rested modestly on her blonde hair.[pg 301]

I led her toward Cleric’s chair, the only comfortable one I had, questioning her confusedly.

I guided her to the Cleric’s chair, the only comfortable one I had, while I questioned her in confusion.

She was not disconcerted by my embarrassment. She looked about her with the naïve curiosity I remembered so well. “You are quite comfortable here, are n’t you? I live in Lincoln now, too, Jim. I’m in business for myself. I have a dressmaking shop in the Raleigh Block, out on O Street. I’ve made a real good start.”

She wasn’t thrown off by my embarrassment. She glanced around with the innocent curiosity I remembered so well. “You’re pretty comfortable here, aren’t you? I live in Lincoln now too, Jim. I’m running my own business. I have a dressmaking shop in the Raleigh Block, over on O Street. I’ve made a really good start.”

“But, Lena, when did you come?”

“But, Lena, when did you arrive?”

“Oh, I’ve been here all winter. Did n’t your grandmother ever write you? I’ve thought about looking you up lots of times. But we’ve all heard what a studious young man you’ve got to be, and I felt bashful. I did n’t know whether you’d be glad to see me.” She laughed her mellow, easy laugh, that was either very artless or very comprehending, one never quite knew which. “You seem the same, though,—except you’re a young man, now, of course. Do you think I’ve changed?”

“Oh, I've been here all winter. Didn’t your grandmother ever write to you? I thought about reaching out to you a lot of times. But we’ve all heard how focused you are on your studies, and I felt shy. I wasn’t sure if you’d be happy to see me.” She laughed her warm, easy laugh, which was either completely genuine or very insightful; it was hard to tell. “You seem the same, though—except now you're a young man, of course. Do you think I've changed?”

[pg 302]

“Maybe you’re prettier—though you were always pretty enough. Perhaps it’s your clothes that make a difference.”

“Maybe you’re prettier—though you were always pretty enough. Perhaps it’s your clothes that make a difference.”

“You like my new suit? I have to dress pretty well in my business.” She took off her jacket and sat more at ease in her blouse, of some soft, flimsy silk. She was already at home in my place, had slipped quietly into it, as she did into everything. She told me her business was going well, and she had saved a little money.

"Do you like my new suit? I have to look good for my job." She took off her jacket and sat more comfortably in her soft, lightweight silk blouse. She was already at home in my space, having quietly settled in, just as she did with everything. She mentioned that her business was thriving and that she had managed to save a bit of money.

“This summer I’m going to build the house for mother I’ve talked about so long. I won’t be able to pay up on it at first, but I want her to have it before she is too old to enjoy it. Next summer I’ll take her down new furniture and carpets, so she’ll have something to look forward to all winter.”

“This summer, I’m going to build the house for Mom that I’ve been talking about for so long. I won’t be able to pay for it all right away, but I want her to have it before she gets too old to enjoy it. Next summer, I’ll bring her new furniture and carpets, so she’ll have something to look forward to all winter.”

I watched Lena sitting there so smooth and sunny and well cared-for, and thought of how she used to run barefoot over the prairie until after the snow began to fly, and how Crazy Mary chased her round and round the cornfields. It seemed to me wonderful that she should have got on so well in the world. Certainly she had no one but herself to thank for it.

I watched Lena sitting there, looking so relaxed and cheerful, well taken care of, and I thought about how she used to run barefoot across the prairie until the snow started falling, and how Crazy Mary would chase her around the cornfields. It amazed me that she had done so well in life. She definitely had no one but herself to thank for it.

[pg 303]

“You must feel proud of yourself, Lena,” I said heartily. “Look at me; I’ve never earned a dollar, and I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to.”

“You must feel proud of yourself, Lena,” I said warmly. “Look at me; I’ve never made a dollar, and I’m not sure I ever will.”

“Tony says you’re going to be richer than Mr. Harling some day. She’s always bragging about you, you know.”

“Tony says you're going to be richer than Mr. Harling one day. She’s always boasting about you, you know.”

“Tell me, how is Tony?”

“Tell me, how is Tony?”

“She’s fine. She works for Mrs. Gardener at the hotel now. She’s housekeeper. Mrs. Gardener’s health is n’t what it was, and she can’t see after everything like she used to. She has great confidence in Tony. Tony’s made it up with the Harlings, too. Little Nina is so fond of her that Mrs. Harling kind of overlooked things.”

"She’s doing well. She’s working for Mrs. Gardener at the hotel now as a housekeeper. Mrs. Gardener's health isn't what it used to be, and she can't manage everything like she once did. She really trusts Tony. Tony has also mended things with the Harlings. Little Nina is so fond of her that Mrs. Harling has kind of let things slide."

“Is she still going with Larry Donovan?”

“Is she still dating Larry Donovan?”

“Oh, that’s on, worse than ever! I guess they’re engaged. Tony talks about him like he was president of the railroad. Everybody laughs about it, because she was never a girl to be soft. She won’t hear a word against him. She’s so sort of innocent.”

“Oh, that’s on, worse than ever! I guess they’re engaged. Tony talks about him like he’s the president of the railroad. Everyone laughs about it because she was never the type to be soft. She won’t hear a word against him. She’s kind of innocent.”

I said I did n’t like Larry, and never would.

I said I didn't like Larry and never would.

Lena’s face dimpled. “Some of us could tell her things, but it would n’t do any good. She’d always believe him. That’s Ántonia’s[pg 304] failing, you know; if she once likes people, she won’t hear anything against them.”

Lena’s face lit up with a smile. “Some of us could tell her things, but it wouldn’t change anything. She’d always believe him. That’s Ántonia’s[pg 304] weakness, you know; once she likes someone, she won’t listen to anything bad about them.”

“I think I’d better go home and look after Ántonia,” I said.

“I think I should head home and take care of Ántonia,” I said.

“I think you had.” Lena looked up at me in frank amusement. “It’s a good thing the Harlings are friendly with her again. Larry’s afraid of them. They ship so much grain, they have influence with the railroad people. What are you studying?” She leaned her elbows on the table and drew my book toward her. I caught a faint odor of violet sachet. “So that’s Latin, is it? It looks hard. You do go to the theater sometimes, though, for I’ve seen you there. Don’t you just love a good play, Jim? I can’t stay at home in the evening if there’s one in town. I’d be willing to work like a slave, it seems to me, to live in a place where there are theaters.”

“I think you did.” Lena looked up at me, clearly amused. “It’s great that the Harlings are on good terms with her again. Larry’s scared of them. They ship so much grain that they have a lot of power with the railroad guys. What are you studying?” She leaned her elbows on the table and pulled my book closer. I smelled a faint hint of violet sachet. “So that’s Latin, huh? It looks tough. You do go to the theater sometimes, right? I’ve seen you there. Don’t you just love a good play, Jim? I can’t stand being at home in the evening if there’s a show in town. I’d be willing to work like crazy, it seems to me, just to live somewhere with theaters.”

“Let’s go to a show together sometime. You are going to let me come to see you, are n’t you?”

“Let’s go to a show together sometime. You’re going to let me come see you, right?”

“Would you like to? I’d be ever so pleased. I’m never busy after six o’clock, and I let my sewing girls go at half-past five. I board, to save time, but sometimes I cook a chop for myself, and I’d be glad to cook one for you.[pg 305] Well,”—she began to put on her white gloves,—“it’s been awful good to see you, Jim.”

“Would you like to? I’d be really happy. I’m never busy after six, and I let my sewing girls leave at five-thirty. I stay at a boarding house to save time, but sometimes I cook a chop for myself, and I’d be happy to make one for you.[pg 305] Well,”—she started putting on her white gloves,—“it’s been great to see you, Jim.”

“You need n’t hurry, need you? You’ve hardly told me anything yet.”

"You don't need to rush, do you? You haven't told me much so far."

“We can talk when you come to see me. I expect you don’t often have lady visitors. The old woman downstairs did n’t want to let me come up very much. I told her I was from your home town, and had promised your grandmother to come and see you. How surprised Mrs. Burden would be!” Lena laughed softly as she rose.

“We can talk when you come to see me. I guess you don’t get many female visitors. The old woman downstairs didn’t want to let me come up very often. I told her I was from your hometown and had promised your grandmother I would come and see you. How surprised Mrs. Burden would be!” Lena laughed softly as she got up.

When I caught up my hat she shook her head. “No, I don’t want you to go with me. I’m to meet some Swedes at the drug-store. You would n’t care for them. I wanted to see your room so I could write Tony all about it, but I must tell her how I left you right here with your books. She’s always so afraid some one will run off with you!” Lena slipped her silk sleeves into the jacket I held for her, smoothed it over her person, and buttoned it slowly. I walked with her to the door. “Come and see me sometimes when you’re lonesome. But maybe you have all the friends you want. Have you?” She turned her soft cheek to me. “Have you?” she whispered[pg 306] teasingly in my ear. In a moment I watched her fade down the dusky stairway.

When I picked up my hat, she shook her head. "No, I don’t want you to come with me. I’m meeting some Swedes at the drugstore. You wouldn't be interested in them. I wanted to see your room so I could tell Tony all about it, but I have to let her know how I left you right here with your books. She’s always so worried someone will take off with you!" Lena slipped her silk sleeves into the jacket I held for her, smoothed it down over her body, and buttoned it slowly. I walked with her to the door. "Come and visit me sometimes when you’re feeling lonely. But maybe you have all the friends you need. Do you?" She turned her soft cheek towards me. "Do you?" she whispered teasingly in my ear. In a moment, I watched her disappear down the dim stairway.

 

When I turned back to my room the place seemed much pleasanter than before. Lena had left something warm and friendly in the lamplight. How I loved to hear her laugh again! It was so soft and unexcited and appreciative—gave a favorable interpretation to everything. When I closed my eyes I could hear them all laughing—the Danish laundry girls and the three Bohemian Marys. Lena had brought them all back to me. It came over me, as it had never done before, the relation between girls like those and the poetry of Virgil. If there were no girls like them in the world, there would be no poetry. I understood that clearly, for the first time. This revelation seemed to me inestimably precious. I clung to it as if it might suddenly vanish.

When I returned to my room, the place felt much nicer than before. Lena had left something warm and inviting in the lamplight. I loved hearing her laugh again! It was so gentle, calm, and appreciative—it made everything seem better. When I closed my eyes, I could hear them all laughing—the Danish laundry girls and the three Bohemian Marys. Lena had brought them all back to me. It hit me, in a way it never had before, the connection between girls like them and the poetry of Virgil. If there weren’t girls like them in the world, there wouldn’t be any poetry. For the first time, I understood that clearly. This realization felt incredibly valuable. I held onto it as if it might disappear at any moment.

As I sat down to my book at last, my old dream about Lena coming across the harvest field in her short skirt seemed to me like the memory of an actual experience. It floated before me on the page like a picture, and underneath it stood the mournful line: Optima dies … prima fugit.

As I finally sat down with my book, my old dream of Lena walking through the harvest field in her short skirt felt like a real memory. It floated on the page like a picture, with the sad line underneath: The best days fly by.


[pg 307]

III

In Lincoln the best part of the theatrical season came late, when the good companies stopped off there for one-night stands, after their long runs in New York and Chicago. That spring Lena went with me to see Joseph Jefferson in “Rip Van Winkle,” and to a war play called “Shenandoah.” She was inflexible about paying for her own seat; said she was in business now, and she would n’t have a schoolboy spending his money on her. I liked to watch a play with Lena; everything was wonderful to her, and everything was true. It was like going to revival meetings with some one who was always being converted. She handed her feelings over to the actors with a kind of fatalistic resignation. Accessories of costume and scene meant much more to her than to me. She sat entranced through “Robin Hood” and hung upon the lips of the contralto who sang, “Oh, Promise Me!”

In Lincoln, the best part of the theater season came late when great companies stopped by for one-night shows after their long runs in New York and Chicago. That spring, Lena went with me to see Joseph Jefferson in “Rip Van Winkle” and to a war play called “Shenandoah.” She was adamant about paying for her own seat; she said she was in business now and didn’t want a schoolboy spending his money on her. I enjoyed watching a play with Lena; everything amazed her, and everything felt real. It was like going to revival meetings with someone who was always getting converted. She gave her emotions over to the actors with a kind of resigned acceptance. The details of costume and setting meant much more to her than they did to me. She sat mesmerized through “Robin Hood” and hung on the words of the contralto singing, “Oh, Promise Me!”

Toward the end of April, the billboards, which I watched anxiously in those days,[pg 308] bloomed out one morning with gleaming white posters on which two names were impressively printed in blue Gothic letters: the name of an actress of whom I had often heard, and the name “Camille.”

Toward the end of April, the billboards that I watched anxiously during that time[pg 308] suddenly lit up one morning with bright white posters featuring two names printed in bold blue Gothic letters: the name of an actress I had often heard of and the name "Camille."

I called at the Raleigh Block for Lena on Saturday evening, and we walked down to the theater. The weather was warm and sultry and put us both in a holiday humor. We arrived early, because Lena liked to watch the people come in. There was a note on the programme, saying that the “incidental music” would be from the opera “Traviata,” which was made from the same story as the play. We had neither of us read the play, and we did not know what it was about—though I seemed to remember having heard it was a piece in which great actresses shone. “The Count of Monte Cristo,” which I had seen James O’Neill play that winter, was by the only Alexandre Dumas I knew. This play, I saw, was by his son, and I expected a family resemblance. A couple of jack-rabbits, run in off the prairie, could not have been more innocent of what awaited them than were Lena and I.

I stopped by the Raleigh Block to pick up Lena on Saturday evening, and we strolled down to the theater. The weather was warm and muggy, putting us both in a festive mood. We got there early because Lena enjoyed watching everyone arrive. There was a note in the program stating that the “incidental music” would be from the opera “Traviata,” which was based on the same story as the play. Neither of us had read the play, so we didn’t know what it was about—though I vaguely remembered hearing it was a role that great actresses excelled in. “The Count of Monte Cristo,” which I’d seen James O'Neill perform that winter, was by the only Alexandre Dumas I knew. This play, I noticed, was by his son, and I expected some similarities. A couple of jackrabbits, run in off the prairie, couldn’t have been more clueless about what was in store for them than Lena and I.

Our excitement began with the rise of the[pg 309] curtain, when the moody Varville, seated before the fire, interrogated Nanine. Decidedly, there was a new tang about this dialogue. I had never heard in the theater lines that were alive, that presupposed and took for granted, like those which passed between Varville and Marguerite in the brief encounter before her friends entered. This introduced the most brilliant, worldly, the most enchantingly gay scene I had ever looked upon. I had never seen champagne bottles opened on the stage before—indeed, I had never seen them opened anywhere. The memory of that supper makes me hungry now; the sight of it then, when I had only a students’ boarding-house dinner behind me, was delicate torment. I seem to remember gilded chairs and tables (arranged hurriedly by footmen in white gloves and stockings), linen of dazzling whiteness, glittering glass, silver dishes, a great bowl of fruit, and the reddest of roses. The room was invaded by beautiful women and dashing young men, laughing and talking together. The men were dressed more or less after the period in which the play was written; the women were not. I saw no inconsistency. Their talk seemed[pg 310] to open to one the brilliant world in which they lived; every sentence made one older and wiser, every pleasantry enlarged one’s horizon. One could experience excess and satiety without the inconvenience of learning what to do with one’s hands in a drawing-room! When the characters all spoke at once and I missed some of the phrases they flashed at each other, I was in misery. I strained my ears and eyes to catch every exclamation.

Our excitement began as the[pg 309] curtain rose, with the moody Varville sitting by the fire, questioning Nanine. There was definitely a fresh vibe to this dialogue. I had never heard lines in the theater that felt so alive, that assumed familiarity, like the exchange between Varville and Marguerite in their brief meeting before her friends entered. This set the stage for the most dazzling, sophisticated, and enchantingly joyful scene I had ever seen. I had never watched champagne bottles being opened on stage before—honestly, I had never seen that happen anywhere. The memory of that dinner still makes me hungry; witnessing it when all I had was a student boarding house meal was pure temptation. I seem to remember gilded chairs and tables (hastily arranged by footmen in white gloves and stockings), linens that gleamed white, sparkling glassware, silver dishes, a huge bowl of fruit, and the most vibrant roses. The room was filled with beautiful women and charming young men, laughing and chatting together. The men were dressed somewhat in the style of the period in which the play was written; the women were not. I saw no inconsistency. Their conversations seemed to open up the brilliant world they inhabited; every sentence made you feel older and wiser, every joke expanded your outlook. You could indulge in excess and satisfaction without worrying about what to do with your hands in a drawing-room! When all the characters spoke at once and I missed some of the witty exchanges, I felt miserable. I strained my ears and eyes to catch every exclamation.

The actress who played Marguerite was even then old-fashioned, though historic. She had been a member of Daly’s famous New York company, and afterward a “star” under his direction. She was a woman who could not be taught, it is said, though she had a crude natural force which carried with people whose feelings were accessible and whose taste was not squeamish. She was already old, with a ravaged countenance and a physique curiously hard and stiff. She moved with difficulty—I think she was lame—I seem to remember some story about a malady of the spine. Her Armand was disproportionately young and slight, a handsome youth, perplexed in the extreme. But what did it matter? I believed devoutly in her power to[pg 311] fascinate him, in her dazzling loveliness. I believed her young, ardent, reckless, disillusioned, under sentence, feverish, avid of pleasure. I wanted to cross the footlights and help the slim-waisted Armand in the frilled shirt to convince her that there was still loyalty and devotion in the world. Her sudden illness, when the gayety was at its height, her pallor, the handkerchief she crushed against her lips, the cough she smothered under the laughter while Gaston kept playing the piano lightly—it all wrung my heart. But not so much as her cynicism in the long dialogue with her lover which followed. How far was I from questioning her unbelief! While the charmingly sincere young man pleaded with her—accompanied by the orchestra in the old “Traviata” duet, “misterioso, misterioso!”—she maintained her bitter skepticism, and the curtain fell on her dancing recklessly with the others, after Armand had been sent away with his flower.

The actress who played Marguerite was somewhat old-fashioned even back then, yet she was iconic. She had been part of Daly’s renowned New York company and later became a “star” under his direction. People said she was a woman who couldn’t be trained, though she had a raw natural talent that resonated with those whose feelings were open and whose tastes were not picky. She was already aging, with a worn-out face and a body that was oddly rigid and stiff. She moved with difficulty—I think she had a limp—I remember hearing something about a spine condition. Her Armand was strikingly younger and thinner, a handsome young man, completely confused. But did it even matter? I truly believed in her ability to captivate him with her stunning beauty. I saw her as young, passionate, reckless, disillusioned, under pressure, feverish, and hungry for pleasure. I wanted to step onto the stage and help the slender Armand in his frilled shirt convince her that there was still loyalty and devotion in the world. Her sudden illness, right when the festivities were at their peak, her paleness, the handkerchief she pressed to her lips, the cough she stifled behind her laughter while Gaston continued to play the piano softly—it all broke my heart. But not as much as her cynicism during the lengthy conversation with her lover that followed. How far was I from questioning her disbelief! While the charmingly genuine young man urged her on—accompanied by the orchestra in the old “Traviata” duet, “mysterious, mysterious!”—she held on to her painful skepticism, and the curtain fell as she danced wildly with the others, after Armand had been sent away with his flower.

Between the acts we had no time to forget. The orchestra kept sawing away at the “Traviata” music, so joyous and sad, so thin and far-away, so clap-trap and yet so heart-breaking. After the second act I left Lena in[pg 312] tearful contemplation of the ceiling, and went out into the lobby to smoke. As I walked about there I congratulated myself that I had not brought some Lincoln girl who would talk during the waits about the Junior dances, or whether the cadets would camp at Plattsmouth. Lena was at least a woman, and I was a man.

Between the acts, we had no time to forget. The orchestra kept playing the music from “Traviata,” which was both joyful and sad, so delicate and distant, so cliché yet so heart-wrenching. After the second act, I left Lena in[pg 312] tearful contemplation of the ceiling and stepped out into the lobby to smoke. As I walked around, I felt relieved that I hadn’t brought some girl from Lincoln who would chatter during the breaks about the Junior dances or whether the cadets would camp at Plattsmouth. Lena was at least a woman, and I was a man.

Through the scene between Marguerite and the elder Duval, Lena wept unceasingly, and I sat helpless to prevent the closing of that chapter of idyllic love, dreading the return of the young man whose ineffable happiness was only to be the measure of his fall.

Through the scene between Marguerite and the elder Duval, Lena cried nonstop, and I sat there unable to stop the end of that beautiful love story, fearing the return of the young man whose indescribable happiness would only highlight his downfall.

I suppose no woman could have been further in person, voice, and temperament from Dumas’ appealing heroine than the veteran actress who first acquainted me with her. Her conception of the character was as heavy and uncompromising as her diction; she bore hard on the idea and on the consonants. At all times she was highly tragic, devoured by remorse. Lightness of stress or behavior was far from her. Her voice was heavy and deep: “Ar-r-r-mond!” she would begin, as if she were summoning him to the bar of Judgment. But the lines were enough. She had[pg 313] only to utter them. They created the character in spite of her.

I don’t think any woman could have been more different in person, voice, and personality from Dumas' captivating heroine than the seasoned actress who first introduced me to her. Her interpretation of the character was as intense and unyielding as her speech; she was harsh on the concept and the consonants. She was always deeply tragic, consumed by regret. A light touch or playful behavior was completely absent from her. Her voice was deep and heavy: “Ar-r-r-mond!” she would start, as if calling him to a final reckoning. But the words were enough. She only had to say them. They brought the character to life despite her.

The heartless world which Marguerite re-entered with Varville had never been so glittering and reckless as on the night when it gathered in Olympe’s salon for the fourth act. There were chandeliers hung from the ceiling, I remember, many servants in livery, gaming-tables where the men played with piles of gold, and a staircase down which the guests made their entrance. After all the others had gathered round the card tables, and young Duval had been warned by Prudence, Marguerite descended the staircase with Varville; such a cloak, such a fan, such jewels—and her face! One knew at a glance how it was with her. When Armand, with the terrible words, “Look, all of you, I owe this woman nothing!” flung the gold and bank-notes at the half-swooning Marguerite, Lena cowered beside me and covered her face with her hands.

The cold world that Marguerite stepped back into with Varville had never been so dazzling and wild as on the night it gathered in Olympe’s salon for the fourth act. I remember there were chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, plenty of well-dressed servants, gaming tables where the men played with stacks of gold, and a staircase that the guests descended. After everyone else had gathered around the card tables, and young Duval had been warned by Prudence, Marguerite came down the staircase with Varville; such a cloak, such a fan, such jewels—and that face! You could tell immediately what her situation was. When Armand, with the awful words, “Look, everyone, I owe this woman nothing!” threw the gold and banknotes at the nearly fainting Marguerite, Lena shrank beside me and covered her face with her hands.

The curtain rose on the bedroom scene. By this time there was n’t a nerve in me that had n’t been twisted. Nanine alone could have made me cry. I loved Nanine tenderly; and Gaston, how one clung to that good[pg 314] fellow! The New Year’s presents were not too much; nothing could be too much now. I wept unrestrainedly. Even the handkerchief in my breast-pocket, worn for elegance and not at all for use, was wet through by the time that moribund woman sank for the last time into the arms of her lover.

The curtain went up on the bedroom scene. By then, I was completely on edge. Just Nanine alone could have brought me to tears. I cared for Nanine deeply; and Gaston, how I held on to that wonderful guy! The New Year’s gifts really weren’t excessive; nothing could feel excessive at that moment. I cried openly. Even the handkerchief in my pocket, meant for style and not actually for wiping tears, was soaked by the time that dying woman fell for the last time into the arms of her lover.

When we reached the door of the theater, the streets were shining with rain. I had prudently brought along Mrs. Harling’s useful Commencement present, and I took Lena home under its shelter. After leaving her, I walked slowly out into the country part of the town where I lived. The lilacs were all blooming in the yards, and the smell of them after the rain, of the new leaves and the blossoms together, blew into my face with a sort of bitter sweetness. I tramped through the puddles and under the showery trees, mourning for Marguerite Gauthier as if she had died only yesterday, sighing with the spirit of 1840, which had sighed so much, and which had reached me only that night, across long years and several languages, through the person of an infirm old actress. The idea is one that no circumstances can frustrate. Wherever and whenever that piece is put on, it is April.

When we got to the theater door, the streets were glistening from the rain. I had smartly brought along Mrs. Harling’s handy graduation gift, and I took Lena home under its cover. After dropping her off, I made my way slowly into the rural part of town where I lived. The lilacs were all in bloom in the yards, and the scent of them after the rain, mixed with the fresh leaves and blossoms, wafted into my face with a kind of bittersweetness. I splashed through the puddles and walked under the drizzly trees, mourning for Marguerite Gauthier as if she had just passed away, sighing with the spirit of 1840, which had sighed so much, and which had reached me only that night, across many years and languages, through the figure of a frail old actress. This idea is one that nothing can change. Wherever and whenever that play is performed, it is April.


[pg 315]

IV

How well I remember the stiff little parlor where I used to wait for Lena: the hard horsehair furniture, bought at some auction sale, the long mirror, the fashion-plates on the wall. If I sat down even for a moment I was sure to find threads and bits of colored silk clinging to my clothes after I went away. Lena’s success puzzled me. She was so easy-going; had none of the push and self-assertiveness that get people ahead in business. She had come to Lincoln, a country girl, with no introductions except to some cousins of Mrs. Thomas who lived there, and she was already making clothes for the women of “the young married set.” She evidently had great natural aptitude for her work. She knew, as she said, “what people looked well in.” She never tired of poring over fashion books. Sometimes in the evening I would find her alone in her work-room, draping folds of satin on a wire figure, with a quite blissful expression of countenance. I could n’t help thinking that the years when Lena literally[pg 316] had n’t enough clothes to cover herself might have something to do with her untiring interest in dressing the human figure. Her clients said that Lena “had style,” and overlooked her habitual inaccuracies. She never, I discovered, finished anything by the time she had promised, and she frequently spent more money on materials than her customer had authorized. Once, when I arrived at six o’clock, Lena was ushering out a fidgety mother and her awkward, overgrown daughter. The woman detained Lena at the door to say apologetically:—

How well I remember the stiff little parlor where I used to wait for Lena: the hard horsehair furniture from some auction, the long mirror, the fashion plates on the wall. If I sat down for even a moment, I was sure to leave with threads and bits of colored silk stuck to my clothes. Lena's success confused me. She was so laid-back; she didn’t have the drive and confidence that usually help people get ahead in business. She had come to Lincoln as a country girl, with no connections besides some cousins of Mrs. Thomas who lived there, and she was already making clothes for the women in “the young married set.” It was clear she had a natural talent for her work. She knew, as she put it, “what people looked good in.” She never got tired of studying fashion books. Sometimes in the evenings, I'd find her alone in her workspace, draping satin on a wire mannequin, wearing a blissful look on her face. I couldn’t help but think that her years of literally not having enough clothes could be a reason for her endless fascination with dressing the human figure. Her clients said Lena “had style,” even though they overlooked her usual mistakes. I found out she never completed anything by the time she promised, and she often spent more on materials than her clients approved. Once, when I arrived at six o’clock, Lena was sending off a fidgety mother and her awkward, tall daughter. The woman stopped Lena at the door to say apologetically:—

“You’ll try to keep it under fifty for me, won’t you, Miss Lingard? You see, she’s really too young to come to an expensive dressmaker, but I knew you could do more with her than anybody else.”

“You’ll try to keep it under fifty for me, won’t you, Miss Lingard? You see, she’s really too young to go to an expensive dressmaker, but I knew you could do more with her than anyone else.”

“Oh, that will be all right, Mrs. Herron. I think we’ll manage to get a good effect,” Lena replied blandly.

“Oh, that will be fine, Mrs. Herron. I think we’ll be able to achieve a good result,” Lena replied flatly.

I thought her manner with her customers very good, and wondered where she had learned such self-possession.

I thought her way of interacting with her customers was really impressive, and I was curious about where she had gained such confidence.

Sometimes after my morning classes were over, I used to encounter Lena downtown, in her velvet suit and a little black hat, with[pg 317] a veil tied smoothly over her face, looking as fresh as the spring morning. Maybe she would be carrying home a bunch of jonquils or a hyacinth plant. When we passed a candy store her footsteps would hesitate and linger. “Don’t let me go in,” she would murmur. “Get me by if you can.” She was very fond of sweets, and was afraid of growing too plump.

Sometimes after my morning classes ended, I would bump into Lena downtown, wearing her velvet suit and a little black hat, with a veil tied smoothly over her face, looking as fresh as a spring morning. Maybe she would be carrying home a bunch of jonquils or a hyacinth plant. When we walked past a candy store, her footsteps would hesitate and linger. “Don’t let me go in,” she would murmur. “Get me by if you can.” She loved sweets but was worried about getting too plump.

We had delightful Sunday breakfasts together at Lena’s. At the back of her long work-room was a bay-window, large enough to hold a box-couch and a reading-table. We breakfasted in this recess, after drawing the curtains that shut out the long room, with cutting-tables and wire women and sheet-draped garments on the walls. The sunlight poured in, making everything on the table shine and glitter and the flame of the alcohol lamp disappear altogether. Lena’s curly black water-spaniel, Prince, breakfasted with us. He sat beside her on the couch and behaved very well until the Polish violin-teacher across the hall began to practice, when Prince would growl and sniff the air with disgust. Lena’s landlord, old Colonel Raleigh, had given her the dog, and at first she was not at all pleased.[pg 318] She had spent too much of her life taking care of animals to have much sentiment about them. But Prince was a knowing little beast, and she grew fond of him. After breakfast I made him do his lessons; play dead dog, shake hands, stand up like a soldier. We used to put my cadet cap on his head—I had to take military drill at the University—and give him a yard-measure to hold with his front leg. His gravity made us laugh immoderately.

We had wonderful Sunday breakfasts together at Lena’s place. At the back of her long workroom was a bay window, big enough for a box couch and a reading table. We would have breakfast in this nook, pulling the curtains to block out the long room filled with cutting tables, wire mannequins, and draped garments on the walls. The sunlight flooded in, making everything on the table shine and sparkle, with the flame of the alcohol lamp completely disappearing. Lena’s curly black water spaniel, Prince, joined us for breakfast. He sat by her on the couch and behaved nicely until the Polish violin teacher across the hall started practicing, at which point Prince would growl and sniff the air in disgust. Lena’s landlord, old Colonel Raleigh, had given her the dog, and she wasn’t thrilled about it at first. She had spent too much of her life caring for animals to feel particularly sentimental about them. But Prince was a clever little guy, and she grew fond of him. After breakfast, I would make him do tricks: play dead, shake hands, and stand up like a soldier. We used to put my cadet cap on his head—I had to take military drill at the University—and give him a yardstick to hold with his front leg. His seriousness made us laugh uncontrollably. [pg 318]

Lena’s talk always amused me. Ántonia had never talked like the people about her. Even after she learned to speak English readily there was always something impulsive and foreign in her speech. But Lena had picked up all the conventional expressions she heard at Mrs. Thomas’s dressmaking shop. Those formal phrases, the very flower of small-town proprieties, and the flat commonplaces, nearly all hypocritical in their origin, became very funny, very engaging, when they were uttered in Lena’s soft voice, with her caressing intonation and arch naïveté. Nothing could be more diverting than to hear Lena, who was almost as candid as Nature, call a leg a “limb” or a house a “home.”

Lena’s conversations always made me laugh. Ántonia had never spoken like the people around her. Even after she became fluent in English, there was always something spontaneous and foreign in the way she talked. But Lena had picked up all the typical expressions she heard at Mrs. Thomas’s dressmaking shop. Those formal phrases, the essence of small-town politeness, and the flat clichés, mostly hypocritical in their origins, became really funny and charming when Lena said them in her soft voice, with her gentle tone and playful innocence. Nothing was more entertaining than hearing Lena, who was almost as open as Nature itself, refer to a leg as a “limb” or a house as a “home.”

[pg 319]

We used to linger a long while over our coffee in that sunny corner. Lena was never so pretty as in the morning; she wakened fresh with the world every day, and her eyes had a deeper color then, like the blue flowers that are never so blue as when they first open. I could sit idle all through a Sunday morning and look at her. Ole Benson’s behavior was now no mystery to me.

We used to spend a long time sipping our coffee in that sunny corner. Lena was never as beautiful as she was in the morning; she woke up refreshed with the world each day, and her eyes had a richer color then, like the blue flowers that are never as vibrant as when they first bloom. I could just sit there all Sunday morning and watch her. Ole Benson’s behavior was no longer a mystery to me.

“There was never any harm in Ole,” she said once. “People need n’t have troubled themselves. He just liked to come over and sit on the draw-side and forget about his bad luck. I liked to have him. Any company’s welcome when you’re off with cattle all the time.”

“There was never any harm in Ole,” she said once. “People didn’t need to worry. He just liked to come over and sit by the draw and forget about his bad luck. I liked having him around. Any company is welcome when you’re out with cattle all the time.”

“But was n’t he always glum?” I asked. “People said he never talked at all.”

“But wasn't he always gloomy?” I asked. “People said he never talked at all.”

“Sure he talked, in Norwegian. He’d been a sailor on an English boat and had seen lots of queer places. He had wonderful tattoos. We used to sit and look at them for hours; there was n’t much to look at out there. He was like a picture book. He had a ship and a strawberry girl on one arm, and on the other a girl standing before a little house, with a fence and gate and all, waiting for[pg 320] her sweetheart. Farther up his arm, her sailor had come back and was kissing her. ‘The Sailor’s Return,’ he called it.”

“Sure, he talked in Norwegian. He’d been a sailor on an English ship and had seen a lot of strange places. He had amazing tattoos. We used to sit and look at them for hours since there wasn’t much else to do out there. He was like a picture book. He had a ship and a strawberry girl on one arm, and on the other, a girl standing in front of a little house, with a fence and a gate, waiting for her sweetheart. Further up his arm, her sailor had returned and was kissing her. He called it ‘The Sailor’s Return.’”

I admitted it was no wonder Ole liked to look at a pretty girl once in a while, with such a fright at home.

I acknowledged that it was no surprise Ole enjoyed looking at a pretty girl from time to time, given the horror he had at home.

“You know,” Lena said confidentially, “he married Mary because he thought she was strong-minded and would keep him straight. He never could keep straight on shore. The last time he landed in Liverpool he’d been out on a two years’ voyage. He was paid off one morning, and by the next he had n’t a cent left, and his watch and compass were gone. He’d got with some women, and they’d taken everything. He worked his way to this country on a little passenger boat. Mary was a stewardess, and she tried to convert him on the way over. He thought she was just the one to keep him steady. Poor Ole! He used to bring me candy from town, hidden in his feed-bag. He could n’t refuse anything to a girl. He’d have given away his tattoos long ago, if he could. He’s one of the people I’m sorriest for.”

“You know,” Lena said confidentially, “he married Mary because he thought she was strong-minded and would keep him on track. He could never stay straight when he was on land. The last time he got to Liverpool, he had just returned from a two-year voyage. He got paid one morning, and by the next day, he didn't have a penny left, and his watch and compass were gone. He had been with some women, and they took everything from him. He worked his way over to this country on a small passenger boat. Mary was a stewardess, and she tried to reform him on the trip. He thought she was just the person to keep him stable. Poor Ole! He used to bring me candy from town, hidden in his feed-bag. He couldn’t say no to a girl. He would have given away his tattoos long ago if he could. He's one of the people I feel the most sorry for.”

If I happened to spend an evening with Lena and stayed late, the Polish violin-teacher[pg 321] across the hall used to come out and watch me descend the stairs, muttering so threateningly that it would have been easy to fall into a quarrel with him. Lena had told him once that she liked to hear him practice, so he always left his door open, and watched who came and went.

If I spent the evening with Lena and stayed late, the Polish violin teacher[pg 321] across the hall would come out and watch me go down the stairs, muttering in a way that made it easy to start a fight with him. Lena had told him once that she enjoyed listening to him practice, so he always left his door open and kept an eye on who came and went.

There was a coolness between the Pole and Lena’s landlord on her account. Old Colonel Raleigh had come to Lincoln from Kentucky and invested an inherited fortune in real estate, at the time of inflated prices. Now he sat day after day in his office in the Raleigh Block, trying to discover where his money had gone and how he could get some of it back. He was a widower, and found very little congenial companionship in this casual Western city. Lena’s good looks and gentle manners appealed to him. He said her voice reminded him of Southern voices, and he found as many opportunities of hearing it as possible. He painted and papered her rooms for her that spring, and put in a porcelain bathtub in place of the tin one that had satisfied the former tenant. While these repairs were being made, the old gentleman often dropped in to consult Lena’s preferences.[pg 322] She told me with amusement how Ordinsky, the Pole, had presented himself at her door one evening, and said that if the landlord was annoying her by his attentions, he would promptly put a stop to it.

There was a tension between the Pole and Lena’s landlord because of her. Old Colonel Raleigh had moved to Lincoln from Kentucky and had invested an inherited fortune in real estate when prices were high. Now, he spent day after day in his office in the Raleigh Block, trying to figure out where all his money had gone and how he could recover some of it. He was a widower and found little enjoyable company in this laid-back Western city. Lena’s looks and sweet personality attracted him. He mentioned that her voice reminded him of the voices from the South, and he sought out as many chances to hear it as he could. That spring, he painted and wallpapered her rooms and replaced the tin bathtub that had been used by the previous tenant with a porcelain one. While the work was being done, the old gentleman frequently stopped by to check on Lena’s preferences.[pg 322] She told me with a laugh about how Ordinsky, the Pole, showed up at her door one evening and declared that if the landlord was bothering her with his attention, he would put a stop to it right away.

“I don’t exactly know what to do about him,” she said, shaking her head, “he’s so sort of wild all the time. I would n’t like to have him say anything rough to that nice old man. The Colonel is long-winded, but then I expect he’s lonesome. I don’t think he cares much for Ordinsky, either. He said once that if I had any complaints to make of my neighbors, I must n’t hesitate.”

“I don’t really know what to do about him,” she said, shaking her head, “he's kind of wild all the time. I wouldn’t want him to say anything harsh to that nice old man. The Colonel talks a lot, but I guess he’s lonely. I don’t think he likes Ordinsky much, either. He once said that if I had any complaints about my neighbors, I shouldn’t hesitate to speak up.”

One Saturday evening when I was having supper with Lena we heard a knock at her parlor door, and there stood the Pole, coatless, in a dress shirt and collar. Prince dropped on his paws and began to growl like a mastiff, while the visitor apologized, saying that he could not possibly come in thus attired, but he begged Lena to lend him some safety pins.

One Saturday evening while I was having dinner with Lena, we heard a knock on her parlor door, and there stood the Pole, without a coat, just in a dress shirt and collar. Prince dropped to his paws and started to growl like a mastiff, while the visitor apologized, saying he couldn’t possibly come in dressed like that, but he asked Lena to lend him some safety pins.

“Oh, you’ll have to come in, Mr. Ordinsky, and let me see what’s the matter.” She closed the door behind him. “Jim, won’t you make Prince behave?”

“Oh, you’ll have to come in, Mr. Ordinsky, and let me see what’s going on.” She closed the door behind him. “Jim, can you please make Prince behave?”

I rapped Prince on the nose, while[pg 323] Ordinsky explained that he had not had his dress clothes on for a long time, and to-night, when he was going to play for a concert, his waistcoat had split down the back. He thought he could pin it together until he got it to a tailor.

I tapped Prince on the nose, while[pg 323] Ordinsky explained that he hadn’t worn his dress clothes in a while, and tonight, when he was set to perform at a concert, his waistcoat split down the back. He thought he could pin it together until he could take it to a tailor.

Lena took him by the elbow and turned him round. She laughed when she saw the long gap in the satin. “You could never pin that, Mr. Ordinsky. You’ve kept it folded too long, and the goods is all gone along the crease. Take it off. I can put a new piece of lining-silk in there for you in ten minutes.” She disappeared into her work-room with the vest, leaving me to confront the Pole, who stood against the door like a wooden figure. He folded his arms and glared at me with his excitable, slanting brown eyes. His head was the shape of a chocolate drop, and was covered with dry, straw-colored hair that fuzzed up about his pointed crown. He had never done more than mutter at me as I passed him, and I was surprised when he now addressed me.

Lena grabbed his elbow and turned him around. She laughed when she saw the long tear in the satin. “You could never fix that, Mr. Ordinsky. You've kept it folded too long, and the fabric has worn out along the crease. Take it off. I can add a new piece of lining silk in there for you in ten minutes.” She went into her workroom with the vest, leaving me to face the Pole, who stood by the door like a wooden statue. He crossed his arms and glared at me with his intense, slanting brown eyes. His head was shaped like a chocolate drop and was covered with dry, straw-colored hair that fluffed up around his pointed crown. He had never done more than mumble at me as I walked by, so I was surprised when he actually spoke to me now.

“Miss Lingard,” he said haughtily, “is a young woman for whom I have the utmost, the utmost respect.”

“Miss Lingard,” he said arrogantly, “is a young woman for whom I have the highest, the highest respect.”

[pg 324]

“So have I,” I said coldly.

“So have I,” I said flatly.

He paid no heed to my remark, but began to do rapid finger-exercises on his shirt-sleeves, as he stood with tightly folded arms.

He ignored my comment and started to do quick finger exercises on his shirt sleeves while standing with his arms crossed.

“Kindness of heart,” he went on, staring at the ceiling, “sentiment, are not understood in a place like this. The noblest qualities are ridiculed. Grinning college boys, ignorant and conceited, what do they know of delicacy!”

“Kindness of heart,” he continued, looking at the ceiling, “sentiment, aren't appreciated in a place like this. The most admirable traits are mocked. Smirking college guys, clueless and arrogant, what do they know about sensitivity!”

I controlled my features and tried to speak seriously.

I kept my expression in check and attempted to speak earnestly.

“If you mean me, Mr. Ordinsky, I have known Miss Lingard a long time, and I think I appreciate her kindness. We come from the same town, and we grew up together.”

“If you’re talking about me, Mr. Ordinsky, I’ve known Miss Lingard for a long time, and I think I understand her kindness. We’re from the same town, and we grew up together.”

His gaze traveled slowly down from the ceiling and rested on me. “Am I to understand that you have this young woman’s interests at heart? That you do not wish to compromise her?”

His eyes moved slowly down from the ceiling and landed on me. “Should I take it that you genuinely care about this young woman’s interests? That you don’t want to put her in a difficult situation?”

“That’s a word we don’t use much here, Mr. Ordinsky. A girl who makes her own living can ask a college boy to supper without being talked about. We take some things for granted.”

"That’s a word we don’t use much here, Mr. Ordinsky. A girl who earns her own living can invite a college guy over for dinner without getting judged. We take some things for granted."

“Then I have misjudged you, and I ask[pg 325] your pardon,”—he bowed gravely. “Miss Lingard,” he went on, “is an absolutely trustful heart. She has not learned the hard lessons of life. As for you and me, noblesse oblige,”—he watched me narrowly.

“Then I misjudged you, and I apologize,”—he bowed seriously. “Miss Lingard,” he continued, “has a completely trusting heart. She hasn’t experienced the harsh lessons of life. As for you and me, noblesse oblige”—he studied me closely.

Lena returned with the vest. “Come in and let us look at you as you go out, Mr. Ordinsky. I’ve never seen you in your dress suit,” she said as she opened the door for him.

Lena came back with the vest. “Come in and let us see you as you leave, Mr. Ordinsky. I’ve never seen you in your suit,” she said as she opened the door for him.

A few moments later he reappeared with his violin case—a heavy muffler about his neck and thick woolen gloves on his bony hands. Lena spoke encouragingly to him, and he went off with such an important, professional air, that we fell to laughing as soon as we had shut the door. “Poor fellow,” Lena said indulgently, “he takes everything so hard.”

A few moments later he came back with his violin case—a heavy scarf wrapped around his neck and thick woolen gloves on his skinny hands. Lena spoke to him encouragingly, and he left with such an important, professional attitude that we burst out laughing as soon as we closed the door. “Poor guy,” Lena said with a smile, “he takes everything so seriously.”

After that Ordinsky was friendly to me, and behaved as if there were some deep understanding between us. He wrote a furious article, attacking the musical taste of the town, and asked me to do him a great service by taking it to the editor of the morning paper. If the editor refused to print it, I was to tell him that he would be answerable to Ordinsky “in person.” He declared that he would[pg 326] never retract one word, and that he was quite prepared to lose all his pupils. In spite of the fact that nobody ever mentioned his article to him after it appeared—full of typographical errors which he thought intentional—he got a certain satisfaction from believing that the citizens of Lincoln had meekly accepted the epithet “coarse barbarians.” “You see how it is,” he said to me, “where there is no chivalry, there is no amour propre.” When I met him on his rounds now, I thought he carried his head more disdainfully than ever, and strode up the steps of front porches and rang doorbells with more assurance. He told Lena he would never forget how I had stood by him when he was “under fire.”

After that, Ordinsky was friendly to me and acted like there was a deep understanding between us. He wrote an angry article criticizing the town's musical taste and asked me to do him a big favor by delivering it to the editor of the morning paper. If the editor refused to publish it, I was to tell him he'd have to answer to Ordinsky “in person.” He insisted he would never take back a single word and that he was fully prepared to lose all his students. Even though nobody ever brought up his article to him after it came out—full of typographical errors he thought were intentional—he took some satisfaction from believing that the people of Lincoln had reluctantly accepted the label “coarse barbarians.” “You see how it is,” he said to me, “where there is no chivalry, there is no self-esteem.” When I ran into him on his rounds now, I thought he held his head even higher in disdain and walked up the steps of front porches and rang doorbells with more confidence. He told Lena he would never forget how I had supported him when he was “under fire.”

All this time, of course, I was drifting. Lena had broken up my serious mood. I was n’t interested in my classes. I played with Lena and Prince, I played with the Pole, I went buggy-riding with the old Colonel, who had taken a fancy to me and used to talk to me about Lena and the “great beauties” he had known in his youth. We were all three in love with Lena.

All this time, I was just going with the flow. Lena had totally disrupted my serious vibe. I wasn’t really into my classes. I hung out with Lena and Prince, played with the Pole, and went buggy riding with the old Colonel, who liked me and would chat about Lena and the “great beauties” he had known when he was younger. All three of us were in love with Lena.

Before the first of June, Gaston Cleric was offered an instructorship at Harvard College,[pg 327] and accepted it. He suggested that I should follow him in the fall, and complete my course at Harvard. He had found out about Lena—not from me—and he talked to me seriously.

Before June 1st, Gaston Cleric was offered a teaching position at Harvard College,[pg 327] and accepted it. He recommended that I join him in the fall to finish my degree at Harvard. He had learned about Lena—not from me—and he spoke to me earnestly.

“You won’t do anything here now. You should either quit school and go to work, or change your college and begin again in earnest. You won’t recover yourself while you are playing about with this handsome Norwegian. Yes, I’ve seen her with you at the theater. She’s very pretty, and perfectly irresponsible, I should judge.”

“You're not going to accomplish anything here now. You should either drop out of school and start working, or switch colleges and really commit to it. You won’t get your act together while you’re hanging out with that charming Norwegian. Yes, I’ve seen her with you at the theater. She’s really attractive, and totally carefree, I would say.”

Cleric wrote my grandfather that he would like to take me East with him. To my astonishment, grandfather replied that I might go if I wished. I was both glad and sorry on the day when the letter came. I stayed in my room all evening and thought things over; I even tried to persuade myself that I was standing in Lena’s way—it is so necessary to be a little noble!—and that if she had not me to play with, she would probably marry and secure her future.

Cleric wrote to my grandfather that he wanted to take me East with him. To my surprise, my grandfather replied that I could go if I wanted. I felt both happy and sad the day the letter arrived. I stayed in my room all evening, thinking everything over; I even tried to convince myself that I was holding Lena back—it’s important to be a little noble!—and that if she didn’t have me to play with, she would probably get married and secure her future.

The next evening I went to call on Lena. I found her propped up on the couch in her bay window, with her foot in a big slipper. An[pg 328] awkward little Russian girl whom she had taken into her work-room had dropped a flat-iron on Lena’s toe. On the table beside her there was a basket of early summer flowers which the Pole had left after he heard of the accident. He always managed to know what went on in Lena’s apartment.

The next evening, I went to visit Lena. I found her propped up on the couch in her bay window, with her foot in a large slipper. An awkward little Russian girl whom she had taken into her workroom had dropped a flat iron on Lena’s toe. On the table beside her, there was a basket of early summer flowers that the Pole had left after he heard about the accident. He always seemed to know what was happening in Lena’s apartment.

Lena was telling me some amusing piece of gossip about one of her clients, when I interrupted her and picked up the flower basket.

Lena was sharing some funny gossip about one of her clients when I cut her off and grabbed the flower basket.

“This old chap will be proposing to you some day, Lena.”

“This old guy will be proposing to you someday, Lena.”

“Oh, he has—often!” she murmured.

“Oh, he has—so often!” she murmured.

“What! After you’ve refused him?”

“What! After you said no to him?”

“He does n’t mind that. It seems to cheer him to mention the subject. Old men are like that, you know. It makes them feel important to think they’re in love with somebody.”

“He doesn’t mind that. It seems to make him happy to talk about it. Old men are like that, you know. It makes them feel important to think they’re in love with someone.”

“The Colonel would marry you in a minute. I hope you won’t marry some old fellow; not even a rich one.”

“The Colonel would marry you right away. I hope you won’t end up marrying some old guy; not even if he’s wealthy.”

Lena shifted her pillows and looked up at me in surprise. “Why, I’m not going to marry anybody. Did n’t you know that?”

Lena rearranged her pillows and stared at me in surprise. “Actually, I’m not going to marry anyone. Didn’t you know that?”

“Nonsense, Lena. That’s what girls say, but you know better. Every handsome girl like you marries, of course.”

“Nonsense, Lena. That’s what girls say, but you know better. Every pretty girl like you gets married, of course.”

[pg 329]

She shook her head. “Not me.”

She shook her head. “Not me.”

“But why not? What makes you say that?” I persisted.

“But why not? What makes you think that?” I kept asking.

Lena laughed. “Well, it’s mainly because I don’t want a husband. Men are all right for friends, but as soon as you marry them they turn into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones. They begin to tell you what’s sensible and what’s foolish, and want you to stick at home all the time. I prefer to be foolish when I feel like it, and be accountable to nobody.”

Lena laughed. “Well, it’s mostly because I don’t want a husband. Guys are fine as friends, but once you marry them, they turn into grumpy old dads, even the wild ones. They start telling you what’s smart and what’s dumb, and want you to stay home all the time. I’d rather be foolish when I want to and not answer to anyone.”

“But you’ll be lonesome. You’ll get tired of this sort of life, and you’ll want a family.”

“But you’ll be lonely. You’ll get tired of this kind of life, and you’ll want a family.”

“Not me. I like to be lonesome. When I went to work for Mrs. Thomas I was nineteen years old, and I had never slept a night in my life when there were n’t three in the bed. I never had a minute to myself except when I was off with the cattle.”

“Not me. I like being alone. When I started working for Mrs. Thomas, I was nineteen, and I had never spent a night in my life without sharing a bed with two others. I never had a moment to myself except when I was out with the cattle.”

Usually, when Lena referred to her life in the country at all, she dismissed it with a single remark, humorous or mildly cynical. But to-night her mind seemed to dwell on those early years. She told me she could n’t remember a time when she was so little that she was n’t lugging a heavy baby about, helping to wash for babies, trying to keep their[pg 330] little chapped hands and faces clean. She remembered home as a place where there were always too many children, a cross man, and work piling up around a sick woman.

Usually, when Lena talked about her life in the country, she brushed it off with a funny or slightly cynical comment. But tonight, she seemed to be lost in thoughts about those early years. She told me she couldn’t recall a time when she was so small that she wasn’t carrying a heavy baby, helping with laundry for the little ones, and trying to keep their[pg 330] little chapped hands and faces clean. She remembered home as a place filled with too many kids, a grumpy man, and chores piling up around a sick woman.

“It was n’t mother’s fault. She would have made us comfortable if she could. But that was no life for a girl! After I began to herd and milk I could never get the smell of the cattle off me. The few underclothes I had I kept in a cracker box. On Saturday nights, after everybody was in bed, then I could take a bath if I was n’t too tired. I could make two trips to the windmill to carry water, and heat it in the wash-boiler on the stove. While the water was heating, I could bring in a washtub out of the cave, and take my bath in the kitchen. Then I could put on a clean nightgown and get into bed with two others, who likely had n’t had a bath unless I’d given it to them. You can’t tell me anything about family life. I’ve had plenty to last me.”

“It wasn’t my mother’s fault. She would have made us comfortable if she could. But that wasn’t a life for a girl! Once I started herding and milking, I could never get the smell of the cows off me. The few underclothes I had were kept in a cracker box. On Saturday nights, after everyone was in bed, I could take a bath if I wasn’t too tired. I could make two trips to the windmill to carry water and heat it in the wash boiler on the stove. While the water was heating, I could bring in a washtub from the cave and take my bath in the kitchen. Then I could put on a clean nightgown and get into bed with two others who probably hadn’t had a bath unless I’d given it to them. You can’t tell me anything about family life. I’ve had more than enough."

“But it’s not all like that,” I objected.

“But it’s not all like that,” I said.

“Near enough. It’s all being under somebody’s thumb. What’s on your mind, Jim? Are you afraid I’ll want you to marry me some day?”

“Close enough. It’s all about being under someone’s control. What’s bothering you, Jim? Are you worried I’ll want you to marry me someday?”

[pg 331]

Then I told her I was going away.

Then I told her I was leaving.

“What makes you want to go away, Jim? Have n’t I been nice to you?”

“What makes you want to leave, Jim? Haven't I been nice to you?”

“You’ve been just awfully good to me, Lena,” I blurted. “I don’t think about much else. I never shall think about much else while I’m with you. I’ll never settle down and grind if I stay here. You know that.” I dropped down beside her and sat looking at the floor. I seemed to have forgotten all my reasonable explanations.

“You’ve been really great to me, Lena,” I blurted out. “I can’t think about anything else. I won’t think about much else as long as I’m with you. I’ll never settle down and work hard if I stay here. You know that.” I dropped down beside her and sat staring at the floor. I seemed to have forgotten all my logical explanations.

Lena drew close to me, and the little hesitation in her voice that had hurt me was not there when she spoke again.

Lena leaned closer to me, and the slight hesitation in her voice that had upset me was gone when she spoke again.

“I ought n’t to have begun it, ought I?” she murmured. “I ought n’t to have gone to see you that first time. But I did want to. I guess I’ve always been a little foolish about you. I don’t know what first put it into my head, unless it was Ántonia, always telling me I must n’t be up to any of my nonsense with you. I let you alone for a long while, though, did n’t I?”

“I shouldn't have started this, should I?” she murmured. “I shouldn't have come to see you that first time. But I wanted to. I guess I've always been a little foolish about you. I don't know what first gave me the idea, unless it was Ántonia, always telling me I shouldn't engage in any of my nonsense with you. I left you alone for a long while, though, didn't I?”

She was a sweet creature to those she loved, that Lena Lingard!

She was a kind person to those she cared about, that Lena Lingard!

At last she sent me away with her soft, slow, renunciatory kiss. “You are n’t sorry[pg 332] I came to see you that time?” she whispered. “It seemed so natural. I used to think I’d like to be your first sweetheart. You were such a funny kid!” She always kissed one as if she were sadly and wisely sending one away forever.

At last, she sent me off with her soft, slow, farewell kiss. “Aren’t you sorry I came to see you that time?” she whispered. “It felt so natural. I used to think I’d love to be your first sweetheart. You were such a funny kid!” She always kissed someone as if she were sadly and wisely sending them away forever.

We said many good-byes before I left Lincoln, but she never tried to hinder me or hold me back. “You are going, but you have n’t gone yet, have you?” she used to say.

We said a lot of good-byes before I left Lincoln, but she never tried to stop me or hold me back. “You’re leaving, but you haven’t left yet, have you?” she would say.

My Lincoln chapter closed abruptly. I went home to my grandparents for a few weeks, and afterward visited my relatives in Virginia until I joined Cleric in Boston. I was then nineteen years old.

My Lincoln chapter ended suddenly. I went back to my grandparents' place for a few weeks, and then visited my relatives in Virginia until I joined Cleric in Boston. I was nineteen at that time.


[pg 335]

Book IV—The Pioneer Woman's Journey

I

Two years after I left Lincoln I completed my academic course at Harvard. Before I entered the Law School I went home for the summer vacation. On the night of my arrival Mrs. Harling and Frances and Sally came over to greet me. Everything seemed just as it used to be. My grandparents looked very little older. Frances Harling was married now, and she and her husband managed the Harling interests in Black Hawk. When we gathered in grandmother’s parlor, I could hardly believe that I had been away at all. One subject, however, we avoided all evening.

Two years after I left Lincoln, I finished my academic course at Harvard. Before starting Law School, I went home for summer vacation. On the night I arrived, Mrs. Harling, Frances, and Sally came over to welcome me. Everything felt just like it used to. My grandparents seemed hardly any older. Frances Harling was married now, and she and her husband were in charge of the Harling interests in Black Hawk. When we gathered in my grandmother’s parlor, I could barely believe I had been away at all. There was one topic we did avoid all evening.

When I was walking home with Frances, after we had left Mrs. Harling at her gate, she said simply, “You know, of course, about poor Ántonia.”

When I was walking home with Frances, after we had left Ms. Harling at her gate, she said casually, “You know about poor Ántonia, right?”

Poor Ántonia! Every one would be saying that now, I thought bitterly. I replied that[pg 336] grandmother had written me how Ántonia went away to marry Larry Donovan at some place where he was working; that he had deserted her, and that there was now a baby. This was all I knew.

Poor Ántonia! Everyone would be saying that now, I thought bitterly. I replied that[pg 336] grandmother had written me how Ántonia went away to marry Larry Donovan at some place where he was working; that he had abandoned her, and that there was now a baby. This was all I knew.

“He never married her,” Frances said. “I have n’t seen her since she came back. She lives at home, on the farm, and almost never comes to town. She brought the baby in to show it to mama once. I’m afraid she’s settled down to be Ambrosch’s drudge for good.”

“He never married her,” Frances said. “I haven’t seen her since she came back. She lives at home, on the farm, and hardly ever comes to town. She brought the baby in to show it to Mom once. I’m afraid she’s stuck being Ambrosch’s servant for good.”

I tried to shut Ántonia out of my mind. I was bitterly disappointed in her. I could not forgive her for becoming an object of pity, while Lena Lingard, for whom people had always foretold trouble, was now the leading dressmaker of Lincoln, much respected in Black Hawk. Lena gave her heart away when she felt like it, but she kept her head for her business and had got on in the world.

I tried to push Ántonia out of my mind. I was really disappointed in her. I couldn't forgive her for becoming someone to feel sorry for, while Lena Lingard, who everyone always expected to cause trouble, was now the top dressmaker in Lincoln and well-respected in Black Hawk. Lena gave her heart away whenever she wanted, but she stayed smart about her business and had succeeded in life.

Just then it was the fashion to speak indulgently of Lena and severely of Tiny Soderball, who had quietly gone West to try her fortune the year before. A Black Hawk boy, just back from Seattle, brought the news that Tiny had not gone to the coast on a venture, as she had allowed people to think, but with[pg 337] very definite plans. One of the roving promoters that used to stop at Mrs. Gardener’s hotel owned idle property along the water-front in Seattle, and he had offered to set Tiny up in business in one of his empty buildings. She was now conducting a sailors’ lodging-house. This, every one said, would be the end of Tiny. Even if she had begun by running a decent place, she could n’t keep it up; all sailors’ boarding-houses were alike.

At that time, people were tending to talk kindly about Lena and harshly about Tiny Soderball, who had quietly headed West the year before to seek her fortune. A Black Hawk guy, recently back from Seattle, shared the news that Tiny hadn’t gone to the coast on a whim, as she’d led everyone to believe, but with very specific plans. One of the wandering promoters who used to stay at Mrs. Gardener’s hotel owned some empty property along the waterfront in Seattle and had offered to help Tiny start a business in one of his vacant buildings. She was now running a sailors’ lodging house. Everyone said this would be the end of Tiny. Even if she started out with a decent place, they believed she couldn’t maintain it; all sailors’ boarding houses were the same.

When I thought about it, I discovered that I had never known Tiny as well as I knew the other girls. I remembered her tripping briskly about the dining-room on her high heels, carrying a big tray full of dishes, glancing rather pertly at the spruce traveling men, and contemptuously at the scrubby ones—who were so afraid of her that they did n’t dare to ask for two kinds of pie. Now it occurred to me that perhaps the sailors, too, might be afraid of Tiny. How astonished we would have been, as we sat talking about her on Frances Harling’s front porch, if we could have known what her future was really to be! Of all the girls and boys who grew up together in Black Hawk, Tiny Soderball was[pg 338] to lead the most adventurous life and to achieve the most solid worldly success.

When I thought about it, I realized that I had never known Tiny as well as I knew the other girls. I remembered her strutting around the dining room on her high heels, carrying a big tray full of dishes, glancing somewhat cheekily at the well-groomed travelers and scornfully at the scruffy ones—who were so intimidated by her that they didn’t dare ask for two kinds of pie. It hit me that maybe the sailors were also scared of Tiny. How surprised we would have been, sitting on Frances Harling’s front porch, if we had known what her future was truly going to be! Of all the boys and girls who grew up together in Black Hawk, Tiny Soderball was[pg 338] to lead the most adventurous life and achieve the most solid worldly success.

This is what actually happened to Tiny: While she was running her lodging-house in Seattle, gold was discovered in Alaska. Miners and sailors came back from the North with wonderful stories and pouches of gold. Tiny saw it and weighed it in her hands. That daring which nobody had ever suspected in her, awoke. She sold her business and set out for Circle City, in company with a carpenter and his wife whom she had persuaded to go along with her. They reached Skaguay in a snowstorm, went in dog sledges over the Chilkoot Pass, and shot the Yukon in flatboats. They reached Circle City on the very day when some Siwash Indians came into the settlement with the report that there had been a rich gold strike farther up the river, on a certain Klondike Creek. Two days later Tiny and her friends, and nearly every one else in Circle City, started for the Klondike fields on the last steamer that went up the Yukon before it froze for the winter. That boatload of people founded Dawson City. Within a few weeks there were fifteen hundred homeless men in camp. Tiny and the[pg 339] carpenter’s wife began to cook for them, in a tent. The miners gave her a lot, and the carpenter put up a log hotel for her. There she sometimes fed a hundred and fifty men a day. Miners came in on snowshoes from their placer claims twenty miles away to buy fresh bread from her, and paid for it in gold.

This is what actually happened to Tiny: While she was running her boarding house in Seattle, gold was discovered in Alaska. Miners and sailors returned from the North with amazing stories and pouches full of gold. Tiny saw it and held it in her hands. That boldness that no one had ever suspected in her was awakened. She sold her business and set out for Circle City, accompanied by a carpenter and his wife whom she had convinced to join her. They arrived in Skaguay during a snowstorm, took dog sleds over the Chilkoot Pass, and navigated the Yukon in flatboats. They reached Circle City on the very day when some Siwash Indians entered the settlement with news that there had been a rich gold strike further up the river, on a certain Klondike Creek. Two days later, Tiny, her friends, and nearly everyone else in Circle City boarded the last steamer that headed up the Yukon before it froze for the winter. That boatload of people founded Dawson City. Within a few weeks, there were fifteen hundred homeless men in camp. Tiny and the carpenter’s wife started cooking for them in a tent. The miners gave her a lot, and the carpenter built a log hotel for her. There, she sometimes served a hundred and fifty men a day. Miners came in on snowshoes from their placer claims twenty miles away to buy fresh bread from her, and they paid for it in gold.

That winter Tiny kept in her hotel a Swede whose legs had been frozen one night in a storm when he was trying to find his way back to his cabin. The poor fellow thought it great good fortune to be cared for by a woman, and a woman who spoke his own tongue. When he was told that his feet must be amputated, he said he hoped he would not get well; what could a working-man do in this hard world without feet? He did, in fact, die from the operation, but not before he had deeded Tiny Soderball his claim on Hunker Creek. Tiny sold her hotel, invested half her money in Dawson building lots, and with the rest she developed her claim. She went off into the wilds and lived on it. She bought other claims from discouraged miners, traded or sold them on percentages.

That winter, Tiny took in a Swedish man at her hotel whose legs had been frozen one night in a storm while he was trying to find his way back to his cabin. The poor guy thought it was a real stroke of luck to be looked after by a woman, especially one who spoke his language. When he was told that he needed to have his feet amputated, he said he hoped he wouldn’t recover; what could a working man do in this tough world without feet? In the end, he did die from the surgery, but not before he gave Tiny Soderball his claim on Hunker Creek. Tiny sold her hotel, invested half her money in building lots in Dawson, and used the rest to develop her claim. She ventured out into the wilderness and lived off of it. She bought other claims from discouraged miners and traded or sold them for a profit.

After nearly ten years in the Klondike, Tiny returned, with a considerable fortune,[pg 340] to live in San Francisco. I met her in Salt Lake City in 1908. She was a thin, hard-faced woman, very well-dressed, very reserved in manner. Curiously enough, she reminded me of Mrs. Gardener, for whom she had worked in Black Hawk so long ago. She told me about some of the desperate chances she had taken in the gold country, but the thrill of them was quite gone. She said frankly that nothing interested her much now but making money. The only two human beings of whom she spoke with any feeling were the Swede, Johnson, who had given her his claim, and Lena Lingard. She had persuaded Lena to come to San Francisco and go into business there.

After nearly ten years in the Klondike, Tiny returned with a sizable fortune to live in San Francisco. I met her in Salt Lake City in 1908. She was a thin, hard-faced woman, very well-dressed and quite reserved. Interestingly, she reminded me of Mrs. Gardener, for whom she had worked in Black Hawk so long ago. She told me about some of the risky moves she had made in the goldfields, but the excitement was long gone. She admitted that nothing really interested her anymore except making money. The only two people she spoke about with any emotion were the Swede, Johnson, who had given her his claim, and Lena Lingard. She had convinced Lena to come to San Francisco and start a business there.

“Lincoln was never any place for her,” Tiny remarked. “In a town of that size Lena would always be gossiped about. Frisco’s the right field for her. She has a fine class of trade. Oh, she’s just the same as she always was! She’s careless, but she’s level-headed. She’s the only person I know who never gets any older. It’s fine for me to have her there; somebody who enjoys things like that. She keeps an eye on me and won’t let me be shabby. When she thinks I need a new dress,[pg 341] she makes it and sends it home—with a bill that’s long enough, I can tell you!”

“Lincoln was never the right place for her,” Tiny said. “In a town that small, Lena would always be talked about. Frisco is the perfect spot for her. She has a good circle of clientele. Oh, she’s just the same as she’s always been! She’s reckless, but she’s practical. She’s the only person I know who never seems to age. It’s great for me to have her around; someone who enjoys life like that. She looks out for me and won’t let me look shabby. When she thinks I need a new dress,[pg 341] she makes one and sends it home—with a bill that’s so long, let me tell you!”

Tiny limped slightly when she walked. The claim on Hunker Creek took toll from its possessors. Tiny had been caught in a sudden turn of weather, like poor Johnson. She lost three toes from one of those pretty little feet that used to trip about Black Hawk in pointed slippers and striped stockings. Tiny mentioned this mutilation quite casually—did n’t seem sensitive about it. She was satisfied with her success, but not elated. She was like some one in whom the faculty of becoming interested is worn out.

Tiny walked with a slight limp. The claim on Hunker Creek took its toll on its owners. Tiny had been caught off guard by a sudden change in the weather, just like poor Johnson. She lost three toes from one of her pretty little feet that used to prance around Black Hawk in pointed slippers and striped stockings. Tiny talked about this loss casually—it didn’t seem to bother her. She was content with her success but not overly excited. She was like someone who had exhausted their ability to feel interested.


[pg 342]

II

Soon after I got home that summer I persuaded my grandparents to have their photographs taken, and one morning I went into the photographer’s shop to arrange for sittings. While I was waiting for him to come out of his developing-room, I walked about trying to recognize the likenesses on his walls: girls in Commencement dresses, country brides and grooms holding hands, family groups of three generations. I noticed, in a heavy frame, one of those depressing “crayon enlargements” often seen in farmhouse parlors, the subject being a round-eyed baby in short dresses. The photographer came out and gave a constrained, apologetic laugh.

Soon after I got home that summer, I convinced my grandparents to get their pictures taken, and one morning I went into the photographer’s shop to schedule the sittings. While I was waiting for him to come out of his darkroom, I wandered around trying to recognize the faces on his walls: girls in graduation gowns, country brides and grooms holding hands, and family groups spanning three generations. I noticed, in a heavy frame, one of those sad “crayon enlargements” often found in farmhouse living rooms, featuring a round-eyed baby in a short dress. The photographer emerged and let out a forced, apologetic laugh.

“That’s Tony Shimerda’s baby. You remember her; she used to be the Harling’s Tony. Too bad! She seems proud of the baby, though; would n’t hear to a cheap frame for the picture. I expect her brother will be in for it Saturday.”

“That’s Tony Shimerda’s baby. You remember her; she used to be the Harling’s Tony. Too bad! She seems proud of the baby, though; wouldn’t hear of a cheap frame for the picture. I expect her brother will be in for it on Saturday.”

I went away feeling that I must see Ántonia again. Another girl would have kept[pg 343] her baby out of sight, but Tony, of course, must have its picture on exhibition at the town photographer’s, in a great gilt frame. How like her! I could forgive her, I told myself, if she had n’t thrown herself away on such a cheap sort of fellow.

I left feeling like I had to see Ántonia again. Another girl might have kept[pg 343] her baby hidden, but Tony, of course, needed to have its picture displayed at the town photographer’s, in a fancy gold frame. How typical of her! I told myself I could forgive her, as long as she hadn't wasted herself on such a low-quality guy.

Larry Donovan was a passenger conductor, one of those train-crew aristocrats who are always afraid that some one may ask them to put up a car-window, and who, if requested to perform such a menial service, silently point to the button that calls the porter. Larry wore this air of official aloofness even on the street, where there were no car-windows to compromise his dignity. At the end of his run he stepped indifferently from the train along with the passengers, his street hat on his head and his conductor’s cap in an alligator-skin bag, went directly into the station and changed his clothes. It was a matter of the utmost importance to him never to be seen in his blue trousers away from his train. He was usually cold and distant with men, but with all women he had a silent, grave familiarity, a special handshake, accompanied by a significant, deliberate look. He took women, married or single, into his[pg 344] confidence; walked them up and down in the moonlight, telling them what a mistake he had made by not entering the office branch of the service, and how much better fitted he was to fill the post of General Passenger Agent in Denver than the roughshod man who then bore that title. His unappreciated worth was the tender secret Larry shared with his sweethearts, and he was always able to make some foolish heart ache over it.

Larry Donovan was a passenger conductor, one of those train-crew elites who always worried someone might ask them to open a car window, and who, if asked to do such a lowly task, would silently point to the button that calls the porter. Larry carried this air of official detachment even on the street, where there were no car windows to threaten his dignity. At the end of his shift, he stepped off the train nonchalantly with the passengers, wearing his street hat and carrying his conductor’s cap in an alligator-skin bag. It was extremely important to him never to be seen in his blue trousers away from his train. He was typically cold and distant with men, but with women, he maintained a silent, serious familiarity, complete with a special handshake and a meaningful, deliberate look. He took women, married or single, into his[pg 344] confidence; he walked them up and down in the moonlight, telling them how he regretted not pursuing a position in the office side of the service, and how he was much better suited to be General Passenger Agent in Denver than the rough man who currently held that title. His unrecognized talent was the tender secret Larry shared with his lovers, and he always managed to make some foolish heart ache over it.

As I drew near home that morning, I saw Mrs. Harling out in her yard, digging round her mountain-ash tree. It was a dry summer, and she had now no boy to help her. Charley was off in his battleship, cruising somewhere on the Caribbean sea. I turned in at the gate—it was with a feeling of pleasure that I opened and shut that gate in those days; I liked the feel of it under my hand. I took the spade away from Mrs. Harling, and while I loosened the earth around the tree, she sat down on the steps and talked about the oriole family that had a nest in its branches.

As I got closer to home that morning, I saw Mrs. Harling out in her yard, digging around her mountain-ash tree. It was a dry summer, and she didn't have her boy to help her anymore. Charley was off on his battleship, cruising somewhere in the Caribbean Sea. I walked through the gate—it felt nice to open and close that gate back then; I enjoyed the way it felt in my hand. I took the spade from Mrs. Harling, and while I loosened the dirt around the tree, she sat on the steps and talked about the oriole family that had a nest in its branches.

Mrs. Harling,” I said presently, “I wish I could find out exactly how Ántonia’s marriage fell through.”

“Mrs. Harling,” I said after a moment, “I wish I could find out exactly why Ántonia’s marriage didn’t work out.”

“Why don’t you go out and see your[pg 345] grandfather’s tenant, the Widow Steavens? She knows more about it than anybody else. She helped Ántonia get ready to be married, and she was there when Ántonia came back. She took care of her when the baby was born. She could tell you everything. Besides, the Widow Steavens is a good talker, and she has a remarkable memory.”

“Why don’t you go out and see your [pg 345] grandfather’s tenant, the Widow Steavens? She knows more about it than anyone else. She helped Ántonia prepare for her marriage and was there when Ántonia returned. She took care of her when the baby was born. She could tell you everything. Plus, the Widow Steavens is great at chatting and has an amazing memory.”


[pg 346]

III

On the first or second day of August I got a horse and cart and set out for the high country, to visit the Widow Steavens. The wheat harvest was over, and here and there along the horizon I could see black puffs of smoke from the steam thrashing-machines. The old pasture land was now being broken up into wheatfields and cornfields, the red grass was disappearing, and the whole face of the country was changing. There were wooden houses where the old sod dwellings used to be, and little orchards, and big red barns; all this meant happy children, contented women, and men who saw their lives coming to a fortunate issue. The windy springs and the blazing summers, one after another, had enriched and mellowed that flat tableland; all the human effort that had gone into it was coming back in long, sweeping lines of fertility. The changes seemed beautiful and harmonious to me; it was like watching the growth of a great man or of a great idea. I recognized every tree and sandbank and[pg 347] rugged draw. I found that I remembered the conformation of the land as one remembers the modeling of human faces.

On the first or second day of August, I got a horse and cart and headed out to the high country to visit the Widow Steavens. The wheat harvest was done, and I could see black puffs of smoke from the steam threshing machines scattered along the horizon. The old pasture land was being turned into wheat and cornfields; the red grass was fading away, and the landscape was transforming. There were wooden houses where the old sod homes used to stand, along with little orchards and large red barns; all of this signified happy children, satisfied women, and men who saw their lives turning out well. The windy springs and scorching summers had enriched and mellowed that flat tableland; all the hard work that had gone into it was returning as wide, sweeping lines of fertility. The changes seemed beautiful and harmonious to me; it felt like watching the development of a great person or a brilliant idea. I recognized every tree, sandbank, and rugged draw. I found that I remembered the shape of the land as one remembers the features of human faces.

When I drew up to our old windmill, the Widow Steavens came out to meet me. She was brown as an Indian woman, tall, and very strong. When I was little, her massive head had always seemed to me like a Roman senator’s. I told her at once why I had come.

When I arrived at our old windmill, Widow Steavens came out to greet me. She was as tanned as an Indigenous woman, tall, and very strong. When I was a kid, her large head always reminded me of a Roman senator's. I immediately told her why I had come.

“You’ll stay the night with us, Jimmy? I’ll talk to you after supper. I can take more interest when my work is off my mind. You’ve no prejudice against hot biscuit for supper? Some have, these days.”

“You’ll stay the night with us, Jimmy? I’ll talk to you after dinner. I can focus better when my work isn’t on my mind. You don’t have anything against hot biscuits for dinner, do you? Some people do these days.”

While I was putting my horse away I heard a rooster squawking. I looked at my watch and sighed; it was three o’clock, and I knew that I must eat him at six.

While I was putting my horse away, I heard a rooster squawking. I checked my watch and sighed; it was three o’clock, and I knew I had to eat him at six.

After supper Mrs. Steavens and I went upstairs to the old sitting-room, while her grave, silent brother remained in the basement to read his farm papers. All the windows were open. The white summer moon was shining outside, the windmill was pumping lazily in the light breeze. My hostess put the lamp on a stand in the corner, and turned it low because of the heat. She sat[pg 348] down in her favorite rocking-chair and settled a little stool comfortably under her tired feet. “I’m troubled with callouses, Jim; getting old,” she sighed cheerfully. She crossed her hands in her lap and sat as if she were at a meeting of some kind.

After dinner, Mrs. Steavens and I went upstairs to the old sitting room, while her serious, quiet brother stayed in the basement to read his farm papers. All the windows were open. The bright summer moon was shining outside, and the windmill was slowly turning in the light breeze. My hostess set the lamp on a stand in the corner and turned it down low because of the heat. She settled into her favorite rocking chair and positioned a small stool comfortably under her tired feet. “I’ve got some calluses, Jim; I’m getting older,” she sighed cheerfully. She clasped her hands in her lap and sat as if she were at some kind of meeting.

“Now, it’s about that dear Ántonia you want to know? Well, you’ve come to the right person. I’ve watched her like she’d been my own daughter.

“Now, you want to know about dear Ántonia? Well, you’ve come to the right person. I’ve watched her as if she were my own daughter.”

“When she came home to do her sewing that summer before she was to be married, she was over here about every day. They’ve never had a sewing machine at the Shimerdas’, and she made all her things here. I taught her hemstitching, and I helped her to cut and fit. She used to sit there at that machine by the window, pedaling the life out of it—she was so strong—and always singing them queer Bohemian songs, like she was the happiest thing in the world.

“When she came home to sew that summer before her wedding, she was over here almost every day. The Shimerdas never had a sewing machine, so she made all her things here. I taught her hemstitching and helped her cut and fit. She would sit at that machine by the window, pedaling like it was nothing—she was so strong—and always singing those quirky Bohemian songs, like she was the happiest person in the world.

“‘Ántonia,’ I used to say, ‘don’t run that machine so fast. You won’t hasten the day none that way.’

“‘Ántonia,’ I used to say, ‘don’t run that machine so fast. You won’t make the day come any faster that way.’”

“Then she’d laugh and slow down for a little, but she’d soon forget and begin to pedal and sing again. I never saw a girl[pg 349] work harder to go to housekeeping right and well-prepared. Lovely table linen the Harlings had given her, and Lena Lingard had sent her nice things from Lincoln. We hemstitched all the tablecloths and pillow-cases, and some of the sheets. Old Mrs. Shimerda knit yards and yards of lace for her underclothes. Tony told me just how she meant to have everything in her house. She’d even bought silver spoons and forks, and kept them in her trunk. She was always coaxing brother to go to the post-office. Her young man did write her real often, from the different towns along his run.

“Then she’d laugh and slow down for a bit, but she’d soon forget and start pedaling and singing again. I never saw a girl work harder to get ready for housekeeping right and well-prepared. The Harlings had given her lovely table linen, and Lena Lingard had sent her nice things from Lincoln. We hemstitched all the tablecloths and pillowcases, and some of the sheets. Old Mrs. Shimerda knitted yards and yards of lace for her underclothes. Tony told me exactly how she planned to have everything in her house. She’d even bought silver spoons and forks, and kept them in her trunk. She was always trying to convince her brother to go to the post office. Her boyfriend wrote to her pretty often, from the different towns along his route.

“The first thing that troubled her was when he wrote that his run had been changed, and they would likely have to live in Denver. ‘I’m a country girl,’ she said, ‘and I doubt if I’ll be able to manage so well for him in a city. I was counting on keeping chickens, and maybe a cow.’ She soon cheered up, though.

“The first thing that bothered her was when he wrote that his run had been changed, and they would probably have to live in Denver. ‘I’m a country girl,’ she said, ‘and I doubt I’ll be able to handle things well for him in a city. I was hoping to keep chickens, and maybe a cow.’ But she soon perked up again, though.”

“At last she got the letter telling her when to come. She was shaken by it; she broke the seal and read it in this room. I suspected then that she’d begun to get faint-hearted, waiting; though she’d never let me see it.

“At last she received the letter telling her when to come. It shook her; she broke the seal and read it in this room. I suspected then that she had started to feel faint-hearted waiting, though she never showed it to me.”

“Then there was a great time of packing. It[pg 350] was in March, if I remember rightly, and a terrible muddy, raw spell, with the roads bad for hauling her things to town. And here let me say, Ambrosch did the right thing. He went to Black Hawk and bought her a set of plated silver in a purple velvet box, good enough for her station. He gave her three hundred dollars in money; I saw the check. He’d collected her wages all those first years she worked out, and it was but right. I shook him by the hand in this room. ‘You’re behaving like a man, Ambrosch,’ I said, ‘and I’m glad to see it, son.’

“Then there was a busy time of packing. It[pg 350] was in March, if I remember correctly, and it was a really muddy, chilly time, with the roads bad for bringing her stuff into town. And let me just say, Ambrosch did the right thing. He went to Black Hawk and bought her a set of silverware in a purple velvet box, good enough for her status. He gave her three hundred dollars in cash; I saw the check. He had saved up her wages from all those early years she worked, and that was only fair. I shook his hand in this room. ‘You’re acting like a man, Ambrosch,’ I said, ‘and I’m happy to see it, son.’”

“’T was a cold, raw day he drove her and her three trunks into Black Hawk to take the night train for Denver—the boxes had been shipped before. He stopped the wagon here, and she ran in to tell me good-bye. She threw her arms around me and kissed me, and thanked me for all I’d done for her. She was so happy she was crying and laughing at the same time, and her red cheeks was all wet with rain.

“It was a cold, damp day when he drove her and her three trunks into Black Hawk to catch the night train to Denver—the boxes had been sent ahead. He stopped the wagon here, and she ran in to say goodbye. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me, thanking me for everything I’d done for her. She was so happy she was crying and laughing at the same time, and her rosy cheeks were all wet from the rain.”

“‘You’re surely handsome enough for any man,’ I said, looking her over.

“‘You’re definitely good-looking enough for anyone,’ I said, checking her out.”

“She laughed kind of flighty like, and whispered, ‘Good-bye, dear house!’ and then[pg 351] ran out to the wagon. I expect she meant that for you and your grandmother, as much as for me, so I’m particular to tell you. This house had always been a refuge to her.

“She laughed a bit absentmindedly and whispered, ‘Goodbye, dear house!’ and then[pg 351] ran out to the wagon. I think she meant that for you and your grandmother as much as for me, so I want to let you know. This house had always been a sanctuary for her.

“Well, in a few days we had a letter saying she got to Denver safe, and he was there to meet her. They were to be married in a few days. He was trying to get his promotion before he married, she said. I did n’t like that, but I said nothing. The next week Yulka got a postal card, saying she was ‘well and happy.’ After that we heard nothing. A month went by, and old Mrs. Shimerda began to get fretful. Ambrosch was as sulky with me as if I’d picked out the man and arranged the match.

“Well, a few days later, we got a letter saying she arrived in Denver safely, and he was there to greet her. They were set to get married in a few days. She mentioned he was trying to secure his promotion before the wedding. I didn’t like that, but I kept quiet. The following week, Yulka received a postcard saying she was ‘well and happy.’ After that, we heard nothing more. A month passed, and old Mrs. Shimerda started to get anxious. Ambrosch was as moody with me as if I had chosen the guy and arranged the whole thing.”

“One night brother William came in and said that on his way back from the fields he had passed a livery team from town, driving fast out the west road. There was a trunk on the front seat with the driver, and another behind. In the back seat there was a woman all bundled up; but for all her veils, he thought ’t was Ántonia Shimerda, or Ántonia Donovan, as her name ought now to be.

“One night, Brother William came in and said that on his way back from the fields, he had passed a livery team from town, driving quickly down the west road. There was a trunk on the front seat with the driver and another one in the back. In the back seat, there was a woman all bundled up; but despite all her veils, he thought it was Ántonia Shimerda, or Ántonia Donovan, as her name should be now.”

“The next morning I got brother to drive me over. I can walk still, but my feet ain’t[pg 352] what they used to be, and I try to save myself. The lines outside the Shimerdas’ house was full of washing, though it was the middle of the week. As we got nearer I saw a sight that made my heart sink—all those underclothes we’d put so much work on, out there swinging in the wind. Yulka came bringing a dishpanful of wrung clothes, but she darted back into the house like she was loath to see us. When I went in, Ántonia was standing over the tubs, just finishing up a big washing. Mrs. Shimerda was going about her work, talking and scolding to herself. She did n’t so much as raise her eyes. Tony wiped her hand on her apron and held it out to me, looking at me steady but mournful. When I took her in my arms she drew away. ‘Don’t, Mrs. Steavens,’ she says, ‘you’ll make me cry, and I don’t want to.’

The next morning, I got my brother to drive me over. I can still walk, but my feet aren’t what they used to be, and I try to take it easy. The lines outside the Shimerdas’ house were full of laundry, even though it was the middle of the week. As we got closer, I saw something that made my heart sink—all those underclothes we’d worked so hard on, out there swinging in the wind. Yulka came out with a dishpan full of wrung clothes, but she darted back into the house like she didn’t want to see us. When I went in, Ántonia was standing over the tubs, just finishing up a big load of laundry. Mrs. Shimerda was busy with her work, talking and scolding to herself. She didn’t even look up. Tony wiped her hand on her apron and held it out to me, looking at me steadily but sadly. When I hugged her, she pulled away. “Don’t, Mrs. Steavens,” she said, “you’ll make me cry, and I don’t want to.”

“I whispered and asked her to come out of doors with me. I knew she could n’t talk free before her mother. She went out with me, bareheaded, and we walked up toward the garden.

“I whispered and asked her to come outside with me. I knew she couldn’t speak freely in front of her mother. She came out with me, without a hat, and we walked up toward the garden.

“‘I’m not married, Mrs. Steavens,’ she says to me very quiet and natural-like, ‘and I ought to be.’

“‘I’m not married, Mrs. Steavens,’ she says to me very quietly and casually, ‘and I should be.’”

[pg 353]

“‘Oh, my child,’ says I, ‘what’s happened to you? Don’t be afraid to tell me!’

“‘Oh, my child,’ I say, ‘what’s happened to you? Don’t be afraid to tell me!’”

“She sat down on the draw-side, out of sight of the house. ‘He’s run away from me,’ she said. ‘I don’t know if he ever meant to marry me.’

“She sat down on the draw-side, out of sight of the house. ‘He’s run away from me,’ she said. ‘I don’t know if he ever intended to marry me.’”

“‘You mean he’s thrown up his job and quit the country?’ says I.

“You mean he’s quit his job and left the country?” I said.

“‘He did n’t have any job. He’d been fired; blacklisted for knocking down fares. I did n’t know. I thought he had n’t been treated right. He was sick when I got there. He’d just come out of the hospital. He lived with me till my money gave out, and afterwards I found he had n’t really been hunting work at all. Then he just did n’t come back. One nice fellow at the station told me, when I kept going to look for him, to give it up. He said he was afraid Larry’d gone bad and would n’t come back any more. I guess he’s gone to Old Mexico. The conductors get rich down there, collecting half-fares off the natives and robbing the company. He was always talking about fellows who had got ahead that way.’

“He didn’t have a job. He had been fired and blacklisted for lowering fares. I didn’t know that. I thought he hadn’t been treated fairly. He was sick when I got there. He had just come out of the hospital. He lived with me until my money ran out, and afterwards I found out he hadn’t really been looking for work at all. Then he just stopped coming back. One nice guy at the station told me, when I kept going to look for him, to let it go. He said he was worried Larry had gone downhill and wouldn’t come back anymore. I guess he’s gone to Old Mexico. The conductors make good money down there, collecting half-fares from the locals and ripping off the company. He was always talking about guys who had made it big that way.”

“I asked her, of course, why she did n’t insist on a civil marriage at once—that would[pg 354] have given her some hold on him. She leaned her head on her hands, poor child, and said, ‘I just don’t know, Mrs. Steavens. I guess my patience was wore out, waiting so long. I thought if he saw how well I could do for him, he’d want to stay with me.’

“I asked her, of course, why she didn’t insist on a civil marriage right away—that would[pg 354] have given her some leverage with him. She rested her head on her hands, poor thing, and said, ‘I just don’t know, Ms. Steavens. I guess my patience wore out after waiting so long. I thought if he saw how well I could take care of him, he’d want to stay with me.’

“Jimmy, I sat right down on that bank beside her and made lament. I cried like a young thing. I could n’t help it. I was just about heart-broke. It was one of them lovely warm May days, and the wind was blowing and the colts jumping around in the pastures; but I felt bowed with despair. My Ántonia, that had so much good in her, had come home disgraced. And that Lena Lingard, that was always a bad one, say what you will, had turned out so well, and was coming home here every summer in her silks and her satins, and doing so much for her mother. I give credit where credit is due, but you know well enough, Jim Burden, there is a great difference in the principles of those two girls. And here it was the good one that had come to grief! I was poor comfort to her. I marveled at her calm. As we went back to the house, she stopped to feel of her clothes to see if they was drying well, and seemed[pg 355] to take pride in their whiteness—she said she’d been living in a brick block, where she did n’t have proper conveniences to wash them.

“Jimmy, I sat right down on that bank next to her and mourned. I cried like a child. I couldn’t help it. I was just heartbroken. It was one of those lovely warm May days, and the wind was blowing, with the colts jumping around in the pastures; but I felt weighed down with despair. My Ántonia, who had so much good in her, had come home ashamed. And that Lena Lingard, who was always trouble, no matter what you say, had turned out so well, coming home every summer in her silks and satins, and doing so much for her mother. I give credit where it’s due, but you know well enough, Jim Burden, there’s a huge difference in the values of those two girls. And it was the good one who had fallen into trouble! I was poor comfort to her. I was amazed by her calm. As we walked back to the house, she paused to check her clothes to see if they were drying well and seemed[pg 355] to take pride in their whiteness—she said she’d been living in a brick building where she didn’t have proper facilities to wash them.

“The next time I saw Ántonia, she was out in the fields ploughing corn. All that spring and summer she did the work of a man on the farm; it seemed to be an understood thing. Ambrosch did n’t get any other hand to help him. Poor Marek had got violent and been sent away to an institution a good while back. We never even saw any of Tony’s pretty dresses. She did n’t take them out of her trunks. She was quiet and steady. Folks respected her industry and tried to treat her as if nothing had happened. They talked, to be sure; but not like they would if she’d put on airs. She was so crushed and quiet that nobody seemed to want to humble her. She never went anywhere. All that summer she never once came to see me. At first I was hurt, but I got to feel that it was because this house reminded her of too much. I went over there when I could, but the times when she was in from the fields were the times when I was busiest here. She talked about the grain and the weather as if she’d[pg 356] never had another interest, and if I went over at night she always looked dead weary. She was afflicted with toothache; one tooth after another ulcerated, and she went about with her face swollen half the time. She would n’t go to Black Hawk to a dentist for fear of meeting people she knew. Ambrosch had got over his good spell long ago, and was always surly. Once I told him he ought not to let Ántonia work so hard and pull herself down. He said, ‘If you put that in her head, you better stay home.’ And after that I did.

The next time I saw Ántonia, she was out in the fields plowing corn. All that spring and summer, she worked as hard as a man on the farm; it seemed to be understood. Ambrosch didn’t find anyone else to help him. Poor Marek had gotten violent and had been sent away to an institution a while back. We never even saw any of Tony’s pretty dresses. She didn’t take them out of her trunks. She was quiet and steady. People respected her hard work and tried to treat her as if nothing had happened. They talked, of course, but not like they would if she had acted pretentious. She was so crushed and quiet that nobody seemed inclined to belittle her. She never went anywhere. All that summer, she never once came to see me. At first, I was hurt, but I eventually felt it was because this house reminded her of too much. I went over there when I could, but the times when she was back from the fields were when I was busiest here. She talked about the grain and the weather as if she’d never had another interest, and if I went over at night, she always looked dead tired. She was suffering from toothache; one tooth after another became infected, and she walked around with her face swollen half the time. She wouldn’t go to Black Hawk to see a dentist for fear of running into people she knew. Ambrosch had long since lost his good mood and was always grumpy. Once, I told him he shouldn’t let Ántonia work so hard and wear herself down. He said, "If you put that in her head, you’d better stay home." And after that, I did.

“Ántonia worked on through harvest and thrashing, though she was too modest to go out thrashing for the neighbors, like when she was young and free. I did n’t see much of her until late that fall when she begun to herd Ambrosch’s cattle in the open ground north of here, up toward the big dog town. Sometimes she used to bring them over the west hill, there, and I would run to meet her and walk north a piece with her. She had thirty cattle in her bunch; it had been dry, and the pasture was short, or she would n’t have brought them so far.

Ántonia kept working through harvest and thrashing, even though she was too modest to help her neighbors with thrashing like she used to when she was young and carefree. I didn’t see much of her until late that fall when she started herding Ambrosch’s cattle in the open land north of here, up toward the big dog town. Sometimes she would bring them over the west hill, and I would run to meet her and walk north with her for a bit. She had thirty cattle with her; it had been dry, and the pasture was sparse, or she wouldn't have brought them so far.

“It was a fine open fall, and she liked to be alone. While the steers grazed, she used to[pg 357] sit on them grassy banks along the draws and sun herself for hours. Sometimes I slipped up to visit with her, when she had n’t gone too far.

“It was a beautiful fall day, and she enjoyed being alone. While the cattle grazed, she would sit on the grassy banks along the draws and soak up the sun for hours. Sometimes I'd sneak over to chat with her when she hadn't gone too far.”

“‘It does seem like I ought to make lace, or knit like Lena used to,’ she said one day, ‘but if I start to work, I look around and forget to go on. It seems such a little while ago when Jim Burden and I was playing all over this country. Up here I can pick out the very places where my father used to stand. Sometimes I feel like I’m not going to live very long, so I’m just enjoying every day of this fall.’

“‘It feels like I should be making lace or knitting like Lena used to,’ she said one day, ‘but when I start working, I look around and forget to keep going. It feels like it was just a little while ago when Jim Burden and I were running all over this area. Up here, I can point out the exact spots where my dad used to stand. Sometimes I feel like I won’t live very long, so I’m just enjoying every day of this fall.’”

“After the winter begun she wore a man’s long overcoat and boots, and a man’s felt hat with a wide brim. I used to watch her coming and going, and I could see that her steps were getting heavier. One day in December, the snow began to fall. Late in the afternoon I saw Ántonia driving her cattle homeward across the hill. The snow was flying round her and she bent to face it, looking more lonesome-like to me than usual. ‘Deary me,’ I says to myself, ‘the girl’s stayed out too late. It’ll be dark before she gets them cattle put into the corral.’ I seemed to sense[pg 358] she’d been feeling too miserable to get up and drive them.

“After winter began, she wore a man’s long overcoat and boots, along with a felt hat that had a wide brim. I watched her come and go, noticing that her footsteps were getting heavier. One day in December, the snow started to fall. Late in the afternoon, I saw Ántonia driving her cattle home across the hill. The snow swirled around her, and she bent forward to face it, looking lonelier than usual to me. ‘Oh dear,’ I thought, ‘she’s stayed out too late. It’ll be dark before she gets those cattle into the corral.’ I felt like she had been too miserable to get up and drive them.”

“That very night, it happened. She got her cattle home, turned them into the corral, and went into the house, into her room behind the kitchen, and shut the door. There, without calling to anybody, without a groan, she lay down on the bed and bore her child.

“That very night, it happened. She got her cattle home, turned them into the corral, and went into the house, into her room behind the kitchen, and shut the door. There, without calling to anyone, without a sound, she lay down on the bed and gave birth to her child.

“I was lifting supper when old Mrs. Shimerda came running down the basement stairs, out of breath and screeching:—

“I was lifting dinner when old Ms. Shimerda came rushing down the basement stairs, out of breath and yelling:—

“‘Baby come, baby come!’ she says. ‘Ambrosch much like devil!’

“‘Baby come, baby come!’ she says. ‘Ambrosch is just like the devil!’”

“Brother William is surely a patient man. He was just ready to sit down to a hot supper after a long day in the fields. Without a word he rose and went down to the barn and hooked up his team. He got us over there as quick as it was humanly possible. I went right in, and began to do for Ántonia; but she laid there with her eyes shut and took no account of me. The old woman got a tubful of warm water to wash the baby. I overlooked what she was doing and I said out loud:—

“Brother William is definitely a patient man. He was just about to sit down to a hot dinner after a long day in the fields. Without saying a word, he got up and went down to the barn to hook up his team. He got us over there as quickly as possible. I went right in and started taking care of Ántonia, but she was lying there with her eyes closed and didn’t acknowledge me. The old woman brought a tub of warm water to wash the baby. I noticed what she was doing and said out loud:—”

“‘Mrs. Shimerda, don’t you put that strong yellow soap near that baby. You’ll blister its little skin.’ I was indignant.

“‘Mrs. Shimerda, don’t put that harsh yellow soap near the baby. You’re going to burn its delicate skin.’ I was outraged.”

Illustration: Ántonia driving her cattle home
[pg 359]

“‘Mrs. Steavens,’ Ántonia said from the bed, ‘if you’ll look in the top tray of my trunk, you’ll see some fine soap.’ That was the first word she spoke.

“‘Mrs. Steavens,’ Ántonia said from the bed, ‘if you look in the top tray of my trunk, you’ll find some nice soap.’ That was the first thing she said.”

“After I’d dressed the baby, I took it out to show it to Ambrosch. He was muttering behind the stove and would n’t look at it.

“After I dressed the baby, I took it out to show Ambrosch. He was mumbling behind the stove and wouldn’t look at it.”

“‘You’d better put it out in the rain barrel,’ he says.

“‘You should throw it in the rain barrel,’ he says.

“‘Now, see here, Ambrosch,’ says I, ‘there’s a law in this land, don’t forget that. I stand here a witness that this baby has come into the world sound and strong, and I intend to keep an eye on what befalls it.’ I pride myself I cowed him.

“‘Listen, Ambrosch,’ I said, ‘there’s a law in this country, remember that. I’m here as a witness that this baby has entered the world healthy and strong, and I plan to watch over what happens to it.’ I take pride in the fact that I intimidated him.”

“Well, I expect you’re not much interested in babies, but Ántonia’s got on fine. She loved it from the first as dearly as if she’d had a ring on her finger, and was never ashamed of it. It’s a year and eight months old now, and no baby was ever better cared-for. Ántonia is a natural-born mother. I wish she could marry and raise a family, but I don’t know as there’s much chance now.”

“Well, I guess you're not really interested in babies, but Ántonia is doing great. She loved it right from the start, as if she was wearing a ring on her finger, and she was never embarrassed about it. It's a year and eight months old now, and no baby has ever been better taken care of. Ántonia is a born mother. I wish she could get married and start a family, but I’m not sure there’s much chance of that now.”

 

I slept that night in the room I used to have when I was a little boy, with the[pg 360] summer wind blowing in at the windows, bringing the smell of the ripe fields. I lay awake and watched the moonlight shining over the barn and the stacks and the pond, and the windmill making its old dark shadow against the blue sky.

I slept that night in the room I used to have when I was a kid, with the[pg 360] summer breeze coming in through the windows, carrying the scent of the ripe fields. I lay awake and watched the moonlight shining on the barn, the stacks, the pond, and the windmill casting its old dark shadow against the blue sky.


[pg 361]

IV

The next afternoon I walked over to the Shimerdas’. Yulka showed me the baby and told me that Ántonia was shocking wheat on the southwest quarter. I went down across the fields, and Tony saw me from a long way off. She stood still by her shocks, leaning on her pitchfork, watching me as I came. We met like the people in the old song, in silence, if not in tears. Her warm hand clasped mine.

The next afternoon, I walked over to the Shimerdas’. Yulka showed me the baby and told me that Ántonia was shocking wheat on the southwest quarter. I went across the fields, and Tony saw me from a distance. She stood still by her shocks, leaning on her pitchfork, watching me as I approached. We met like the people in the old song, in silence, if not in tears. Her warm hand clasped mine.

“I thought you’d come, Jim. I heard you were at Mrs. Steavens’s last night. I’ve been looking for you all day.”

“I thought you’d come, Jim. I heard you were at Mrs. Steavens’s last night. I’ve been looking for you all day.”

She was thinner than I had ever seen her, and looked, as Mrs. Steavens said, “worked down,” but there was a new kind of strength in the gravity of her face, and her color still gave her that look of deep-seated health and ardor. Still? Why, it flashed across me that though so much had happened in her life and in mine, she was barely twenty-four years old.

She was thinner than I'd ever seen her, and looked, as Mrs. Steavens said, “worked down,” but there was a new kind of strength in the seriousness of her face, and her complexion still gave her that impression of deep-seated health and energy. Still? It struck me that even though so much had happened in her life and in mine, she was barely twenty-four years old.

Ántonia stuck her fork in the ground, and instinctively we walked toward that[pg 362] unploughed patch at the crossing of the roads as the fittest place to talk to each other. We sat down outside the sagging wire fence that shut Mr. Shimerda’s plot off from the rest of the world. The tall red grass had never been cut there. It had died down in winter and come up again in the spring until it was as thick and shrubby as some tropical garden-grass. I found myself telling her everything: why I had decided to study law and to go into the law office of one of my mother’s relatives in New York City; about Gaston Cleric’s death from pneumonia last winter, and the difference it had made in my life. She wanted to know about my friends and my way of living, and my dearest hopes.

Ántonia stuck her fork in the ground, and instinctively we walked toward that[pg 362] unplowed patch at the crossroads, the best spot to talk. We sat outside the sagging wire fence that enclosed Mr. Shimerda’s property, separating it from the rest of the world. The tall red grass hadn’t been cut there. It died down in winter and grew back in spring until it was as thick and bushy as some tropical garden grass. I found myself sharing everything with her: why I had decided to study law and work at my mother’s relative’s law office in New York City; about Gaston Cleric’s death from pneumonia last winter and how it changed my life. She wanted to know about my friends, my lifestyle, and my deepest hopes.

“Of course it means you are going away from us for good,” she said with a sigh. “But that don’t mean I’ll lose you. Look at my papa here; he’s been dead all these years, and yet he is more real to me than almost anybody else. He never goes out of my life. I talk to him and consult him all the time. The older I grow, the better I know him and the more I understand him.”

“Of course that means you’re leaving us for good,” she said with a sigh. “But that doesn't mean I'll lose you. Look at my dad here; he’s been gone all these years, and yet he feels more real to me than almost anyone else. He’s always in my life. I talk to him and ask for his advice all the time. The older I get, the better I understand him and the more I appreciate him.”

She asked me whether I had learned to like big cities. “I’d always be miserable in a[pg 363] city. I’d die of lonesomeness. I like to be where I know every stack and tree, and where all the ground is friendly. I want to live and die here. Father Kelly says everybody’s put into this world for something, and I know what I’ve got to do. I’m going to see that my little girl has a better chance than ever I had. I’m going to take care of that girl, Jim.”

She asked me if I had learned to like big cities. “I’d always be unhappy in a[pg 363] city. I’d die of loneliness. I like being where I know every building and tree, and where the ground feels familiar. I want to live and die here. Father Kelly says everyone’s put into this world for a reason, and I know what I need to do. I’m going to make sure my little girl has a better chance than I ever had. I’m going to take care of that girl, Jim.”

I told her I knew she would. “Do you know, Ántonia, since I’ve been away, I think of you more often than of any one else in this part of the world. I’d have liked to have you for a sweetheart, or a wife, or my mother or my sister—anything that a woman can be to a man. The idea of you is a part of my mind; you influence my likes and dislikes, all my tastes, hundreds of times when I don’t realize it. You really are a part of me.”

I told her I knew she would. “Do you know, Ántonia, since I’ve been away, I think about you more often than anyone else here. I would have loved to have you as a girlfriend, a wife, my mother, or my sister—anything a woman can be to a man. You’re a part of my thoughts; you shape my preferences, all my tastes, countless times without me even realizing it. You truly are a part of me.”

She turned her bright, believing eyes to me, and the tears came up in them slowly. “How can it be like that, when you know so many people, and when I’ve disappointed you so? Ain’t it wonderful, Jim, how much people can mean to each other? I’m so glad we had each other when we were little. I can’t wait till my little girl’s old enough to[pg 364] tell her about all the things we used to do. You’ll always remember me when you think about old times, won’t you? And I guess everybody thinks about old times, even the happiest people.”

She looked at me with her bright, trusting eyes, and tears started to form slowly. “How can it be this way when you know so many people, and I’ve let you down so much? Isn’t it amazing, Jim, how much people can mean to each other? I’m so glad we had each other when we were kids. I can’t wait until my little girl is old enough to[pg 364] tell her about all the things we used to do. You’ll always remember me when you think about the old times, right? And I guess everyone thinks about the past, even the happiest people.”

As we walked homeward across the fields, the sun dropped and lay like a great golden globe in the low west. While it hung there, the moon rose in the east, as big as a cartwheel, pale silver and streaked with rose color, thin as a bubble or a ghost-moon. For five, perhaps ten minutes, the two luminaries confronted each other across the level land, resting on opposite edges of the world. In that singular light every little tree and shock of wheat, every sunflower stalk and clump of snow-on-the-mountain, drew itself up high and pointed; the very clods and furrows in the fields seemed to stand up sharply. I felt the old pull of the earth, the solemn magic that comes out of those fields at nightfall. I wished I could be a little boy again, and that my way could end there.

As we walked home across the fields, the sun dipped low, looking like a big golden ball in the western sky. While it hung there, the moon rose in the east, as large as a cartwheel, pale silver with hints of rose, as thin as a bubble or a ghost-moon. For five or maybe ten minutes, the two celestial bodies faced each other across the flat land, resting on opposite sides of the world. In that unique light, every little tree and bundle of wheat, every sunflower stalk and patch of snow-on-the-mountain stood tall and pointed; even the clods and furrows in the fields seemed to rise sharply. I felt the familiar pull of the earth, the deep magic that comes from those fields at dusk. I longed to be a little boy again, wishing my path could end right there.

We reached the edge of the field, where our ways parted. I took her hands and held them against my breast, feeling once more how strong and warm and good they were, those[pg 365] brown hands, and remembering how many kind things they had done for me. I held them now a long while, over my heart. About us it was growing darker and darker, and I had to look hard to see her face, which I meant always to carry with me; the closest, realest face, under all the shadows of women’s faces, at the very bottom of my memory.

We reached the edge of the field, where our paths separated. I took her hands and held them against my chest, feeling once again how strong, warm, and comforting they were, those[pg 365] brown hands, and remembering all the kind things they had done for me. I held them there for a long time, over my heart. Around us, it was getting darker and darker, and I had to squint to see her face, which I promised to always carry with me; the closest, most genuine face, among all the shadows of women's faces, right at the very back of my memory.

“I’ll come back,” I said earnestly, through the soft, intrusive darkness.

“I’ll come back,” I said sincerely, through the gentle, annoying darkness.

“Perhaps you will”—I felt rather than saw her smile. “But even if you don’t, you’re here, like my father. So I won’t be lonesome.”

“Maybe you will,” I sensed her smile more than I saw it. “But even if you don’t, you’re here, just like my dad. So I won’t feel lonely.”

As I went back alone over that familiar road, I could almost believe that a boy and girl ran along beside me, as our shadows used to do, laughing and whispering to each other in the grass.

As I walked back alone on that familiar road, I could almost imagine a boy and girl running alongside me, like our shadows used to do, laughing and whispering to each other in the grass.


[pg 369]

Book V—Cuzak's Crew

I

I told Ántonia I would come back, but life intervened, and it was twenty years before I kept my promise. I heard of her from time to time; that she married, very soon after I last saw her, a young Bohemian, a cousin of Anton Jelinek; that they were poor, and had a large family. Once when I was abroad I went into Bohemia, and from Prague I sent Ántonia some photographs of her native village. Months afterward came a letter from her, telling me the names and ages of her many children, but little else; signed, “Your old friend, Ántonia Cuzak.” When I met Tiny Soderball in Salt Lake, she told me that Ántonia had not “done very well”; that her husband was not a man of much force, and she had had a hard life. Perhaps it was cowardice that kept me away so long. My business took me West several times every year, and it was always in the[pg 370] back of my mind that I would stop in Nebraska some day and go to see Ántonia. But I kept putting it off until the next trip. I did not want to find her aged and broken; I really dreaded it. In the course of twenty crowded years one parts with many illusions. I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen to one again.

I said Ántonia I would come back, but life got in the way, and it took me twenty years to keep that promise. I heard from time to time that she married, shortly after I last saw her, a young Bohemian who was a cousin of Anton Jelinek; that they were struggling financially and had a big family. Once, when I was overseas, I traveled to Bohemia, and from Prague, I sent Ántonia some photos of her hometown. Months later, I received a letter from her, listing the names and ages of her many children but sharing little else; it was signed, “Your old friend, Ántonia Cuzak.” When I ran into Tiny Soderball in Salt Lake, she mentioned that Ántonia had not “done very well”; that her husband wasn’t very strong, and she had lived a tough life. Maybe it was cowardice that kept me away for so long. My work sent me out West several times a year, and it always lingered in my mind that I would stop in Nebraska someday to visit Ántonia. But I kept putting it off until the next trip. I didn’t want to find her old and worn; I really feared it. Over the course of twenty hectic years, you let go of many illusions. I didn’t want to lose the early ones. Some memories are real and are better than anything that could ever happen again.

I owe it to Lena Lingard that I went to see Ántonia at last. I was in San Francisco two summers ago when both Lena and Tiny Soderball were in town. Tiny lives in a house of her own, and Lena’s shop is in an apartment house just around the corner. It interested me, after so many years, to see the two women together. Tiny audits Lena’s accounts occasionally, and invests her money for her; and Lena, apparently, takes care that Tiny does n’t grow too miserly. “If there’s anything I can’t stand,” she said to me in Tiny’s presence, “it’s a shabby rich woman.” Tiny smiled grimly and assured me that Lena would never be either shabby or rich. “And I don’t want to be,” the other agreed complacently.

I owe my visit to Ántonia to Lena Lingard. Two summers ago, I was in San Francisco when both Lena and Tiny Soderball were in town. Tiny has her own house, while Lena’s shop is in an apartment building just around the corner. After so many years, it was interesting to see the two women together. Tiny occasionally reviews Lena’s accounts and invests her money, and Lena makes sure Tiny doesn’t become too stingy. “I can’t stand a shabby rich woman,” she said in front of Tiny. Tiny gave a grim smile and assured me that Lena would never be either shabby or rich. “And I don’t want to be,” Lena agreed comfortably.

Lena gave me a cheerful account of Ántonia and urged me to make her a visit.

Lena told me a happy story about Ántonia and encouraged me to go visit her.

[pg 371]

“You really ought to go, Jim. It would be such a satisfaction to her. Never mind what Tiny says. There’s nothing the matter with Cuzak. You’d like him. He is n’t a hustler, but a rough man would never have suited Tony. Tony has nice children—ten or eleven of them by this time, I guess. I should n’t care for a family of that size myself, but somehow it’s just right for Tony. She’d love to show them to you.”

“You really should go, Jim. It would make her so happy. Don’t pay attention to what Tiny says. There’s nothing wrong with Cuzak. You’d like him. He’s not a go-getter, but a tough guy would never have worked for Tony. Tony has nice kids—ten or eleven of them by now, I suppose. I wouldn't want a family that big myself, but somehow it just fits for Tony. She’d be thrilled to show them to you.”

On my way East I broke my journey at Hastings, in Nebraska, and set off with an open buggy and a fairly good livery team to find the Cuzak farm. At a little past midday, I knew I must be nearing my destination. Set back on a swell of land at my right, I saw a wide farmhouse, with a red barn and an ash grove, and cattle yards in front that sloped down to the high road. I drew up my horses and was wondering whether I should drive in here, when I heard low voices. Ahead of me, in a plum thicket beside the road, I saw two boys bending over a dead dog. The little one, not more than four or five, was on his knees, his hands folded, and his close-clipped, bare head drooping forward in deep dejection. The other stood beside him, a hand on his[pg 372] shoulder, and was comforting him in a language I had not heard for a long while. When I stopped my horses opposite them, the older boy took his brother by the hand and came toward me. He, too, looked grave. This was evidently a sad afternoon for them.

On my way East, I paused my journey in Hastings, Nebraska, and set off in an open buggy with a decent team of horses to find the Cuzak farm. Just after noon, I sensed I was getting close to my destination. Off to my right, on a rise of land, was a large farmhouse, a red barn, an ash grove, and cattle yards that sloped down to the main road. I stopped my horses, debating whether to drive in when I heard low voices. Ahead, in a plum thicket by the road, I noticed two boys leaning over a dead dog. The younger one, maybe four or five years old, was on his knees with his hands clasped, his closely cropped, bare head bowed in deep sadness. The older boy stood beside him, a hand on his shoulder, comforting him in a language I hadn't heard in a long time. When I halted my horses in front of them, the older boy took his brother's hand and came toward me. He also looked serious. It was clearly a tough afternoon for them.

“Are you Mrs. Cuzak’s boys?” I asked.

“Are you Mrs. Cuzak’s boys?” I asked.

The younger one did not look up; he was submerged in his own feelings, but his brother met me with intelligent gray eyes. “Yes, sir.”

The younger one didn’t look up; he was caught up in his own emotions, but his brother met my gaze with insightful gray eyes. “Yes, sir.”

“Does she live up there on the hill? I am going to see her. Get in and ride up with me.”

“Does she live up on the hill? I'm going to see her. Get in and ride up with me.”

He glanced at his reluctant little brother. “I guess we’d better walk. But we’ll open the gate for you.”

He looked at his unwilling little brother. “I guess we should walk. But we’ll open the gate for you.”

I drove along the side-road and they followed slowly behind. When I pulled up at the windmill, another boy, barefooted and curly-headed, ran out of the barn to tie my team for me. He was a handsome one, this chap, fair-skinned and freckled, with red cheeks and a ruddy pelt as thick as a lamb’s wool, growing down on his neck in little tufts. He tied my team with two flourishes of his hands, and nodded when I asked him if his mother was at home. As he glanced at me, his[pg 373] face dimpled with a seizure of irrelevant merriment, and he shot up the windmill tower with a lightness that struck me as disdainful. I knew he was peering down at me as I walked toward the house.

I drove along the side road, and they followed slowly behind. When I pulled up at the windmill, another boy, barefoot and curly-haired, ran out of the barn to tie my horses for me. He was a good-looking kid, fair-skinned and freckled, with red cheeks and a thick, reddish mane like a lamb's wool, growing in little tufts down his neck. He tied my horses with a couple of quick motions and nodded when I asked if his mom was home. As he looked at me, his face lit up with a burst of random laughter, and he dashed up the windmill tower with a lightness that felt a bit snobby. I knew he was watching me as I walked toward the house.

Ducks and geese ran quacking across my path. White cats were sunning themselves among yellow pumpkins on the porch steps. I looked through the wire screen into a big, light kitchen with a white floor. I saw a long table, rows of wooden chairs against the wall, and a shining range in one corner. Two girls were washing dishes at the sink, laughing and chattering, and a little one, in a short pinafore, sat on a stool playing with a rag baby. When I asked for their mother, one of the girls dropped her towel, ran across the floor with noiseless bare feet, and disappeared. The older one, who wore shoes and stockings, came to the door to admit me. She was a buxom girl with dark hair and eyes, calm and self-possessed.

Ducks and geese waddled quacking across my path. White cats lounged in the sun among yellow pumpkins on the porch steps. I looked through the wire screen into a big, bright kitchen with a white floor. I saw a long table, rows of wooden chairs against the wall, and a shiny stove in one corner. Two girls were washing dishes at the sink, laughing and chatting, while a little one in a short pinafore sat on a stool playing with a rag doll. When I asked for their mom, one of the girls dropped her towel, ran across the floor with silent bare feet, and disappeared. The older one, who wore shoes and stockings, came to the door to let me in. She was a plump girl with dark hair and eyes, calm and self-assured.

“Won’t you come in? Mother will be here in a minute.”

"Won't you come in? Mom will be here in a minute."

Before I could sit down in the chair she offered me, the miracle happened; one of those quiet moments that clutch the heart,[pg 374] and take more courage than the noisy, excited passages in life. Ántonia came in and stood before me; a stalwart, brown woman, flat-chested, her curly brown hair a little grizzled. It was a shock, of course. It always is, to meet people after long years, especially if they have lived as much and as hard as this woman had. We stood looking at each other. The eyes that peered anxiously at me were—simply Ántonia’s eyes. I had seen no others like them since I looked into them last, though I had looked at so many thousands of human faces. As I confronted her, the changes grew less apparent to me, her identity stronger. She was there, in the full vigor of her personality, battered but not diminished, looking at me, speaking to me in the husky, breathy voice I remembered so well.

Before I could sit down in the chair she offered me, the miracle happened; one of those quiet moments that grip the heart and take more courage than the loud, exciting moments in life. Ántonia came in and stood before me; a strong, brown woman, flat-chested, her curly brown hair a little gray. It was a shock, of course. It always is to meet people after so many years, especially if they have lived as much and as hard as this woman had. We stood looking at each other. The eyes that anxiously peered at me were—simply Ántonia’s eyes. I hadn’t seen any others like them since I last looked into them, even though I had seen so many thousands of human faces. As I faced her, the changes became less noticeable to me, her identity stronger. She was there, full of her personality, battered but not diminished, looking at me, speaking to me in the husky, breathy voice I remembered so well.

“My husband’s not at home, sir. Can I do anything?”

“My husband isn't home, sir. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Don’t you remember me, Ántonia? Have I changed so much?”

“Don’t you remember me, Ántonia? Have I changed that much?”

She frowned into the slanting sunlight that made her brown hair look redder than it was. Suddenly her eyes widened, her whole face seemed to grow broader. She caught her breath and put out two hard-worked hands.

She frowned into the angled sunlight that made her brown hair look redder than it actually was. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and her whole face seemed to brighten. She gasped and extended two calloused hands.

[pg 375]

“Why, it’s Jim! Anna, Yulka, it’s Jim Burden!” She had no sooner caught my hands than she looked alarmed. “What’s happened? Is anybody dead?”

“Why, it’s Jim! Anna, Yulka, it’s Jim Burden!” She had barely grabbed my hands when she looked worried. “What’s wrong? Is anyone dead?”

I patted her arm. “No. I did n’t come to a funeral this time. I got off the train at Hastings and drove down to see you and your family.”

I patted her arm. “No. I didn’t come to a funeral this time. I got off the train at Hastings and drove down to see you and your family.”

She dropped my hand and began rushing about. “Anton, Yulka, Nina, where are you all? Run, Anna, and hunt for the boys. They’re off looking for that dog, somewhere. And call Leo. Where is that Leo!” She pulled them out of corners and came bringing them like a mother cat bringing in her kittens. “You don’t have to go right off, Jim? My oldest boy’s not here. He’s gone with papa to the street fair at Wilber. I won’t let you go! You’ve got to stay and see Rudolph and our papa.” She looked at me imploringly, panting with excitement.

She let go of my hand and started running around. “Anton, Yulka, Nina, where are you? Hurry, Anna, and look for the boys. They’re out searching for that dog somewhere. And call Leo. Where's Leo?” She pulled them out from their hiding spots, gathering them like a mother cat with her kittens. “You don’t have to leave right away, Jim? My oldest boy isn’t here. He went with Dad to the street fair at Wilber. I can't let you go! You have to stay and see Rudolph and our dad.” She looked at me with pleading eyes, breathing heavily from excitement.

While I reassured her and told her there would be plenty of time, the barefooted boys from outside were slipping into the kitchen and gathering about her.

While I comforted her and said there would be plenty of time, the barefoot boys from outside were sneaking into the kitchen and gathering around her.

“Now, tell me their names, and how old they are.”

“Now, tell me their names and how old they are.”

[pg 376]

As she told them off in turn, she made several mistakes about ages, and they roared with laughter. When she came to my light-footed friend of the windmill, she said, “This is Leo, and he’s old enough to be better than he is.”

As she scolded them one by one, she mixed up their ages a few times, and they burst into laughter. When she got to my nimble friend from the windmill, she said, “This is Leo, and he’s old enough to know better than he does.”

He ran up to her and butted her playfully with his curly head, like a little ram, but his voice was quite desperate. “You’ve forgot! You always forget mine. It’s mean! Please tell him, mother!” He clenched his fists in vexation and looked up at her impetuously.

He ran up to her and playfully bumped her with his curly head, like a little ram, but his voice was filled with desperation. “You forgot! You always forget mine. It’s not fair! Please tell him, Mom!” He clenched his fists in frustration and looked up at her eagerly.

She wound her forefinger in his yellow fleece and pulled it, watching him. “Well, how old are you?”

She twisted her index finger in his yellow fleece and pulled it, watching him. “So, how old are you?”

“I’m twelve,” he panted, looking not at me but at her; “I’m twelve years old, and I was born on Easter day!”

“I’m twelve,” he gasped, glancing not at me but at her; “I’m twelve years old, and I was born on Easter day!”

She nodded to me. “It’s true. He was an Easter baby.”

She nodded at me. “It's true. He was an Easter baby.”

The children all looked at me, as if they expected me to exhibit astonishment or delight at this information. Clearly, they were proud of each other, and of being so many. When they had all been introduced, Anna, the eldest daughter, who had met me at the[pg 377] door, scattered them gently, and came bringing a white apron which she tied round her mother’s waist.

The kids all stared at me, as if they thought I would be amazed or excited by this news. Clearly, they were proud of one another and of their big group. Once everyone had been introduced, Anna, the oldest daughter, who had met me at the [pg 377] door, kindly dispersed them and returned with a white apron that she tied around her mom's waist.

“Now, mother, sit down and talk to Mr. Burden. We’ll finish the dishes quietly and not disturb you.”

“Now, Mom, sit down and talk to Mr. Burden. We’ll quietly finish the dishes and not disturb you.”

Ántonia looked about, quite distracted. “Yes, child, but why don’t we take him into the parlor, now that we’ve got a nice parlor for company?”

Ántonia looked around, feeling a bit distracted. “Yes, sweetie, but why don’t we take him into the living room, now that we have a nice space for guests?”

The daughter laughed indulgently, and took my hat from me. “Well, you’re here, now, mother, and if you talk here, Yulka and I can listen, too. You can show him the parlor after while.” She smiled at me, and went back to the dishes, with her sister. The little girl with the rag doll found a place on the bottom step of an enclosed back stairway, and sat with her toes curled up, looking out at us expectantly.

The daughter laughed good-naturedly and took my hat. “Well, you’re here now, Mom, and if you talk here, Yulka and I can listen too. You can show him the living room later.” She smiled at me and went back to washing the dishes with her sister. The little girl with the rag doll found a spot on the bottom step of an enclosed back staircase and sat with her toes curled up, looking out at us eagerly.

“She’s Nina, after Nina Harling,” Ántonia explained. “Ain’t her eyes like Nina’s? I declare, Jim, I loved you children almost as much as I love my own. These children know all about you and Charley and Sally, like as if they’d grown up with you. I can’t think of what I want to say, you’ve got me[pg 378] so stirred up. And then, I’ve forgot my English so. I don’t often talk it any more. I tell the children I used to speak real well.” She said they always spoke Bohemian at home. The little ones could not speak English at all—did n’t learn it until they went to school.

“She’s Nina, after Nina Harling,” Ántonia explained. “Aren’t her eyes just like Nina’s? I swear, Jim, I loved you kids almost as much as I love my own. These kids know all about you, Charley, and Sally, as if they grew up with you. I can’t figure out what I want to say; you’ve got me[pg 378] so worked up. And then, I’ve forgotten my English so much. I don’t often speak it anymore. I tell the kids I used to speak it really well.” She said they always spoke Bohemian at home. The little ones couldn’t speak English at all—they didn’t learn it until they went to school.

“I can’t believe it’s you, sitting here, in my own kitchen. You would n’t have known me, would you, Jim? You’ve kept so young, yourself. But it’s easier for a man. I can’t see how my Anton looks any older than the day I married him. His teeth have kept so nice. I have n’t got many left. But I feel just as young as I used to, and I can do as much work. Oh, we don’t have to work so hard now! We’ve got plenty to help us, papa and me. And how many have you got, Jim?”

“I can’t believe it’s you, sitting here in my kitchen. You wouldn’t recognize me, would you, Jim? You’ve stayed so young. But it’s easier for guys. I can’t tell how my Anton looks any older than the day I married him. His teeth have stayed in great shape. I don’t have many left. But I feel just as young as I used to, and I can still do as much work. Oh, we don’t have to work so hard now! We have plenty of help, Papa and I. How many do you have, Jim?”

When I told her I had no children she seemed embarrassed. “Oh, ain’t that too bad! Maybe you could take one of my bad ones, now? That Leo; he’s the worst of all.” She leaned toward me with a smile. “And I love him the best,” she whispered.

When I told her I didn’t have any kids, she looked a bit awkward. “Oh, that’s too bad! Maybe you could take one of my troublemakers, huh? That Leo; he’s the worst of the bunch.” She leaned in with a smile. “And I love him the most,” she whispered.

“Mother!” the two girls murmured reproachfully from the dishes.

“Mom!” the two girls said with a hint of accusation from the dishes.

Ántonia threw up her head and laughed. “I can’t help it. You know I do. Maybe[pg 379] it’s because he came on Easter day, I don’t know. And he’s never out of mischief one minute!”

Ántonia lifted her head and laughed. “I can’t help it. You know I do. Maybe[pg 379] it’s because he showed up on Easter, I don’t know. And he’s always up to something!”

I was thinking, as I watched her, how little it mattered—about her teeth, for instance. I know so many women who have kept all the things that she had lost, but whose inner glow has faded. Whatever else was gone, Ántonia had not lost the fire of life. Her skin, so brown and hardened, had not that look of flabbiness, as if the sap beneath it had been secretly drawn away.

I was thinking, as I watched her, how little it mattered—like her teeth, for example. I know so many women who have held onto all the things she had lost, but whose inner light has dimmed. No matter what else was gone, Ántonia had not lost her spark. Her skin, so brown and tough, didn’t have that flabby look, as if the vitality beneath it had been quietly drained away.

While we were talking, the little boy whom they called Jan came in and sat down on the step beside Nina, under the hood of the stairway. He wore a funny long gingham apron, like a smock, over his trousers, and his hair was clipped so short that his head looked white and naked. He watched us out of his big, sorrowful gray eyes.

While we were talking, the little boy they called Jan came in and sat down on the step next to Nina, under the stairway. He wore a silly long gingham apron, like a smock, over his pants, and his hair was cut so short that his head looked bare and white. He looked at us with his big, sad gray eyes.

“He wants to tell you about the dog, mother. They found it dead,” Anna said, as she passed us on her way to the cupboard.

“He wants to tell you about the dog, Mom. They found it dead,” Anna said, as she walked past us on her way to the cupboard.

Ántonia beckoned the boy to her. He stood by her chair, leaning his elbows on her knees and twisting her apron strings in his slender fingers, while he told her his story softly in[pg 380] Bohemian, and the tears brimmed over and hung on his long lashes. His mother listened, spoke soothingly to him, and in a whisper promised him something that made him give her a quick, teary smile. He slipped away and whispered his secret to Nina, sitting close to her and talking behind his hand.

Ántonia waved the boy over to her. He stood by her chair, resting his elbows on her knees and twisting her apron strings with his slender fingers as he softly shared his story in Bohemian, tears welling up and clinging to his long lashes. His mother listened, comforted him, and quietly promised him something that made him give her a quick, tearful smile. He slipped away and whispered his secret to Nina, sitting next to her and talking behind his hand.

When Anna finished her work and had washed her hands, she came and stood behind her mother’s chair. “Why don’t we show Mr. Burden our new fruit cave?” she asked.

When Anna finished her work and washed her hands, she came and stood behind her mother’s chair. “Why don’t we show Mr. Burden our new fruit cave?” she asked.

We started off across the yard with the children at our heels. The boys were standing by the windmill, talking about the dog; some of them ran ahead to open the cellar door. When we descended, they all came down after us, and seemed quite as proud of the cave as the girls were. Ambrosch, the thoughtful-looking one who had directed me down by the plum bushes, called my attention to the stout brick walls and the cement floor. “Yes, it is a good way from the house,” he admitted. “But, you see, in winter there are nearly always some of us around to come out and get things.”

We headed across the yard with the kids following us. The boys were by the windmill, chatting about the dog; a few of them ran ahead to open the cellar door. When we went down, they all followed us and seemed just as excited about the cave as the girls were. Ambrosch, the serious-looking one who had guided me past the plum bushes, pointed out the strong brick walls and the cement floor. “Yeah, it’s quite a distance from the house,” he said. “But, you know, in winter, there are usually some of us around to come out and grab things.”

Anna and Yulka showed me three small barrels; one full of dill pickles, one full of[pg 381] chopped pickles, and one full of pickled watermelon rinds.

Anna and Yulka showed me three small barrels: one full of dill pickles, one full of chopped pickles, and one full of pickled watermelon rinds.

“You would n’t believe, Jim, what it takes to feed them all!” their mother exclaimed. “You ought to see the bread we bake on Wednesdays and Saturdays! It’s no wonder their poor papa can’t get rich, he has to buy so much sugar for us to preserve with. We have our own wheat ground for flour,—but then there’s that much less to sell.”

“You wouldn’t believe, Jim, what it takes to feed them all!” their mother exclaimed. “You should see the bread we bake on Wednesdays and Saturdays! It’s no wonder their poor dad can’t get rich; he has to buy so much sugar for us to use in preserving. We have our own wheat ground for flour—but that means there’s that much less to sell.”

Nina and Jan, and a little girl named Lucie, kept shyly pointing out to me the shelves of glass jars. They said nothing, but glancing at me, traced on the glass with their finger-tips the outline of the cherries and strawberries and crab-apples within, trying by a blissful expression of countenance to give me some idea of their deliciousness.

Nina and Jan, along with a little girl named Lucie, kept shyly pointing out the shelves of glass jars to me. They didn’t say anything, but as they glanced at me, they traced the outlines of the cherries, strawberries, and crab-apples inside with their fingertips, trying to convey their deliciousness with blissful expressions on their faces.

“Show him the spiced plums, mother. Americans don’t have those,” said one of the older boys. “Mother uses them to make kolaches,” he added.

“Show him the spiced plums, Mom. Americans don’t have those,” said one of the older boys. “Mom uses them to make kolaches” he added.

Leo, in a low voice, tossed off some scornful remark in Bohemian.

Leo, quietly, made a sarcastic comment in Bohemian.

I turned to him. “You think I don’t know what kolaches are, eh? You’re mistaken, young man. I’ve eaten your mother’s[pg 382] kolaches long before that Easter day when you were born.”

I turned to him. “You think I don’t know what kolaches are, huh? You’re wrong, kid. I ate your mom’s [pg 382] kolaches long before that Easter day when you were born.”

“Always too fresh, Leo,” Ambrosch remarked with a shrug.

“Always too fresh, Leo,” Ambrosch said with a shrug.

Leo dived behind his mother and grinned out at me.

Leo hid behind his mother and flashed a grin at me.

We turned to leave the cave; Ántonia and I went up the stairs first, and the children waited. We were standing outside talking, when they all came running up the steps together, big and little, tow heads and gold heads and brown, and flashing little naked legs; a veritable explosion of life out of the dark cave into the sunlight. It made me dizzy for a moment.

We turned to leave the cave; Ántonia and I went up the stairs first, and the kids waited. We were standing outside talking when they all came rushing up the steps together, big and small, with light and dark hair and shiny little bare legs; a total burst of energy coming out of the dark cave into the sunlight. It made me feel dizzy for a moment.

The boys escorted us to the front of the house, which I had n’t yet seen; in farmhouses, somehow, life comes and goes by the back door. The roof was so steep that the eaves were not much above the forest of tall hollyhocks, now brown and in seed. Through July, Ántonia said, the house was buried in them; the Bohemians, I remembered, always planted hollyhocks. The front yard was enclosed by a thorny locust hedge, and at the gate grew two silvery, moth-like trees of the mimosa family. From here one looked down over the[pg 383] cattle yards, with their two long ponds, and over a wide stretch of stubble which they told me was a rye-field in summer.

The boys led us to the front of the house, which I hadn’t seen yet; in farmhouses, life tends to flow in and out the back door. The roof was so steep that the eaves barely rose above the tall hollyhocks, now brown and ready for seed. Ántonia mentioned that in July, the house was surrounded by them; I remembered that the Bohemians always planted hollyhocks. The front yard was bordered by a thorny locust hedge, and at the gate stood two silvery, moth-like trees from the mimosa family. From here, you could look down over the[pg 383]cattle yards, with their two long ponds, and over a wide stretch of stubble, which they said was a rye-field in summer.

At some distance behind the house were an ash grove and two orchards; a cherry orchard, with gooseberry and currant bushes between the rows, and an apple orchard, sheltered by a high hedge from the hot winds. The older children turned back when we reached the hedge, but Jan and Nina and Lucie crept through it by a hole known only to themselves and hid under the low-branching mulberry bushes.

At some distance behind the house were an ash grove and two orchards: a cherry orchard with gooseberry and currant bushes in between the rows, and an apple orchard, protected by a tall hedge from the hot winds. The older kids turned back when we got to the hedge, but Jan, Nina, and Lucie sneaked through a hole that only they knew about and hid under the low-branching mulberry bushes.

As we walked through the apple orchard, grown up in tall bluegrass, Ántonia kept stopping to tell me about one tree and another. “I love them as if they were people,” she said, rubbing her hand over the bark. “There was n’t a tree here when we first came. We planted every one, and used to carry water for them, too—after we’d been working in the fields all day. Anton, he was a city man, and he used to get discouraged. But I could n’t feel so tired that I would n’t fret about these trees when there was a dry time. They were on my mind like children. Many a night after he was asleep I’ve got up and come out and carried water to the poor things. And now, you see,[pg 384] we have the good of them. My man worked in the orange groves in Florida, and he knows all about grafting. There ain’t one of our neighbors has an orchard that bears like ours.”

As we walked through the apple orchard, overgrown with tall bluegrass, Ántonia kept stopping to tell me about different trees. “I love them like they’re people,” she said, rubbing her hand over the bark. “There wasn’t a tree here when we first arrived. We planted every single one and even carried water for them after working in the fields all day. Anton, he was a city guy, and he used to get discouraged. But I could never feel too tired to worry about these trees during a dry spell. They were on my mind like my own kids. Many nights after he was asleep, I’d get up and come out to carry water to the poor things. And now, you see,[pg 384] we get to enjoy them. My husband worked in the orange groves in Florida, and he knows all about grafting. None of our neighbors have an orchard that produces like ours.”

In the middle of the orchard we came upon a grape-arbor, with seats built along the sides and a warped plank table. The three children were waiting for us there. They looked up at me bashfully and made some request of their mother.

In the middle of the orchard, we found a grape arbor with seats along the sides and a warped wooden table. The three kids were waiting for us there. They looked up at me shyly and asked their mom for something.

“They want me to tell you how the teacher has the school picnic here every year. These don’t go to school yet, so they think it’s all like the picnic.”

“They want me to tell you how the teacher has the school picnic here every year. These kids aren’t in school yet, so they think it’s all just like the picnic.”

After I had admired the arbor sufficiently, the youngsters ran away to an open place where there was a rough jungle of French pinks, and squatted down among them, crawling about and measuring with a string. “Jan wants to bury his dog there,” Ántonia explained. “I had to tell him he could. He’s kind of like Nina Harling; you remember how hard she used to take little things? He has funny notions, like her.”

After I had admired the arbor long enough, the kids ran off to a spot with a wild patch of French pinks and sat down among them, crawling around and measuring with a string. “Jan wants to bury his dog there,” Ántonia explained. “I had to tell him he could. He’s a bit like Nina Harling; you remember how seriously she took small things? He has some strange ideas, just like her.”

We sat down and watched them. Ántonia leaned her elbows on the table. There was the[pg 385] deepest peace in that orchard. It was surrounded by a triple enclosure; the wire fence, then the hedge of thorny locusts, then the mulberry hedge which kept out the hot winds of summer and held fast to the protecting snows of winter. The hedges were so tall that we could see nothing but the blue sky above them, neither the barn roof nor the windmill. The afternoon sun poured down on us through the drying grape leaves. The orchard seemed full of sun, like a cup, and we could smell the ripe apples on the trees. The crabs hung on the branches as thick as beads on a string, purple-red, with a thin silvery glaze over them. Some hens and ducks had crept through the hedge and were pecking at the fallen apples. The drakes were handsome fellows, with pinkish gray bodies, their heads and necks covered with iridescent green feathers which grew close and full, changing to blue like a peacock’s neck. Ántonia said they always reminded her of soldiers—some uniform she had seen in the old country, when she was a child.

We sat down and watched them. Ántonia rested her elbows on the table. There was a deep sense of peace in that orchard. It was surrounded by triple barriers: first, a wire fence, then a hedge of thorny locusts, and finally, a mulberry hedge that blocked the hot summer winds and kept the protective snows of winter in place. The hedges were so tall that we could see nothing but the blue sky above them—not the barn roof or the windmill. The afternoon sun streamed down on us through the drying grape leaves. The orchard felt full of sunlight, like a cup, and we could smell the ripe apples on the trees. The crab apples hung on the branches thickly, like beads on a string, purple-red with a thin silvery sheen. Some hens and ducks had sneaked through the hedge, pecking at the fallen apples. The drakes were striking, with pinkish-gray bodies and heads and necks covered in iridescent green feathers that were close and full, shifting to blue like a peacock's neck. Ántonia said they always reminded her of soldiers—some uniform she had seen back in the old country when she was a child.

“Are there any quail left now?” I asked. I reminded her how she used to go hunting with me the last summer before we moved to town. “You were n’t a bad shot, Tony. Do[pg 386] you remember how you used to want to run away and go for ducks with Charley Harling and me?”

“Are there any quail left now?” I asked. I reminded her how she used to go hunting with me the last summer before we moved to town. “You weren’t a bad shot, Tony. Do[pg 386] you remember how you wanted to run away and go for ducks with Charley Harling and me?”

“I know, but I’m afraid to look at a gun now.” She picked up one of the drakes and ruffled his green capote with her fingers. “Ever since I’ve had children, I don’t like to kill anything. It makes me kind of faint to wring an old goose’s neck. Ain’t that strange, Jim?”

“I know, but I’m scared to look at a gun now.” She picked up one of the drakes and ruffled his green feathers with her fingers. “Ever since I’ve had kids, I don’t like to kill anything. It makes me feel a bit faint to wring an old goose’s neck. Isn’t that strange, Jim?”

“I don’t know. The young Queen of Italy said the same thing once, to a friend of mine. She used to be a great huntswoman, but now she feels as you do, and only shoots clay pigeons.”

“I don’t know. The young Queen of Italy said the same thing once, to a friend of mine. She used to be a great hunter, but now she feels like you do and only shoots clay pigeons.”

“Then I’m sure she’s a good mother,” Ántonia said warmly.

“Then I’m sure she’s a great mom,” Ántonia said warmly.

She told me how she and her husband had come out to this new country when the farm land was cheap and could be had on easy payments. The first ten years were a hard struggle. Her husband knew very little about farming and often grew discouraged. “We’d never have got through if I had n’t been so strong. I’ve always had good health, thank God, and I was able to help him in the fields until right up to the time before my babies[pg 387] came. Our children were good about taking care of each other. Martha, the one you saw when she was a baby, was such a help to me, and she trained Anna to be just like her. My Martha’s married now, and has a baby of her own. Think of that, Jim!

She shared how she and her husband moved to this new country when farmland was affordable and available with easy payment plans. The first ten years were a tough battle. Her husband knew very little about farming and often felt discouraged. “We wouldn’t have made it if I hadn’t been so strong. I’ve always been healthy, thank God, and I was able to help him in the fields right up until just before my babies[pg 387] came. Our kids were great at taking care of each other. Martha, the one you saw as a baby, was such a help to me, and she taught Anna to be just like her. My Martha's married now and has a baby of her own. Can you believe that, Jim!

“No, I never got down-hearted. Anton’s a good man, and I loved my children and always believed they would turn out well. I belong on a farm. I’m never lonesome here like I used to be in town. You remember what sad spells I used to have, when I did n’t know what was the matter with me? I’ve never had them out here. And I don’t mind work a bit, if I don’t have to put up with sadness.” She leaned her chin on her hand and looked down through the orchard, where the sunlight was growing more and more golden.

“No, I never got downhearted. Anton’s a good man, and I loved my kids and always believed they would turn out well. I belong on a farm. I’m never lonely here like I used to be in town. You remember those sad times I had when I didn’t know what was wrong with me? I’ve never felt that way out here. And I don’t mind work at all, as long as I don’t have to deal with sadness.” She rested her chin on her hand and looked down through the orchard, where the sunlight was becoming more and more golden.

“You ought never to have gone to town, Tony,” I said, wondering at her.

“You really shouldn’t have gone to town, Tony,” I said, puzzled by her.

She turned to me eagerly. “Oh, I’m glad I went! I’d never have known anything about cooking or housekeeping if I had n’t. I learned nice ways at the Harlings’, and I’ve been able to bring my children up so much better. Don’t you think they are pretty well-behaved for country children? If it had n’t been for[pg 388] what Mrs. Harling taught me, I expect I’d have brought them up like wild rabbits. No, I’m glad I had a chance to learn; but I’m thankful none of my daughters will ever have to work out. The trouble with me was, Jim, I never could believe harm of anybody I loved.”

She turned to me eagerly. “Oh, I’m so glad I went! I’d never have learned anything about cooking or managing a household if I hadn’t. I picked up some great tips at the Harlings’, and I’ve been able to raise my kids so much better. Don’t you think they’re pretty well-behaved for country kids? If it hadn’t been for[pg 388] what Mrs. Harling taught me, I probably would have raised them like wild animals. No, I’m really glad I had the opportunity to learn; but I’m thankful none of my daughters will ever have to work outside the home. The problem with me was, Jim, I could never believe anything bad about anybody I loved.”

While we were talking, Ántonia assured me that she could keep me for the night. “We’ve plenty of room. Two of the boys sleep in the haymow till cold weather comes, but there’s no need for it. Leo always begs to sleep there, and Ambrosch goes along to look after him.”

While we were chatting, Ántonia promised me that she could host me for the night. “We have plenty of space. Two of the boys sleep in the hayloft until it gets cold, but there’s no need for that. Leo always asks to sleep up there, and Ambrosch goes with him to keep an eye on him.”

I told her I would like to sleep in the haymow, with the boys.

I told her I wanted to sleep in the hayloft with the guys.

“You can do just as you want to. The chest is full of clean blankets, put away for winter. Now I must go, or my girls will be doing all the work, and I want to cook your supper myself.”

“You can do whatever you like. The chest is full of clean blankets, stored away for winter. Now I have to go, or my girls will end up doing all the work, and I want to cook your dinner myself.”

As we went toward the house, we met Ambrosch and Anton, starting off with their milking-pails to hunt the cows. I joined them, and Leo accompanied us at some distance, running ahead and starting up at us out of clumps of ironweed, calling, “I’m a jack rabbit,” or, “I’m a big bull-snake.”

As we walked toward the house, we ran into Ambrosch and Anton, heading out with their milking pails to find the cows. I joined them, and Leo followed at a distance, darting ahead and popping up from behind clumps of ironweed, calling out, “I’m a jack rabbit,” or, “I’m a big bull-snake.”

[pg 389]

I walked between the two older boys—straight, well-made fellows, with good heads and clear eyes. They talked about their school and the new teacher, told me about the crops and the harvest, and how many steers they would feed that winter. They were easy and confidential with me, as if I were an old friend of the family—and not too old. I felt like a boy in their company, and all manner of forgotten interests revived in me. It seemed, after all, so natural to be walking along a barbed-wire fence beside the sunset, toward a red pond, and to see my shadow moving along at my right, over the close-cropped grass.

I walked between the two older boys—tall, solid guys, with smart heads and clear eyes. They chatted about school and the new teacher, filled me in on the crops and the harvest, and how many steers they’d be feeding that winter. They were casual and open with me, like I was an old family friend—and not too old. I felt like a kid around them, and all sorts of forgotten interests came rushing back. It felt so natural to be walking along a barbed-wire fence beside the sunset, heading toward a red pond, and to see my shadow moving along on my right, over the neatly trimmed grass.

“Has mother shown you the pictures you sent her from the old country?” Ambrosch asked. “We’ve had them framed and they’re hung up in the parlor. She was so glad to get them. I don’t believe I ever saw her so pleased about anything.” There was a note of simple gratitude in his voice that made me wish I had given more occasion for it.

“Has Mom shown you the pictures you sent her from the old country?” Ambrosch asked. “We’ve had them framed and they’re up in the living room. She was so happy to get them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this pleased about anything.” There was a tone of genuine gratitude in his voice that made me wish I had given him more reasons for it.

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Your mother, you know, was very much loved by all of us. She was a beautiful girl.”

I placed my hand on his shoulder. “You know, your mom was really loved by all of us. She was a beautiful woman.”

“Oh, we know!” They both spoke[pg 390] together; seemed a little surprised that I should think it necessary to mention this. “Everybody liked her, did n’t they? The Harlings and your grandmother, and all the town people.”

“Oh, we know!” They both said[pg 390] together; they seemed a bit surprised that I thought it was necessary to bring this up. “Everyone liked her, right? The Harlings, your grandmother, and all the people in town.”

“Sometimes,” I ventured, “it does n’t occur to boys that their mother was ever young and pretty.”

“Sometimes,” I said, “it doesn’t cross boys’ minds that their mom was ever young and attractive.”

“Oh, we know!” they said again, warmly. “She’s not very old now,” Ambrosch added. “Not much older than you.”

“Oh, we know!” they said again, warmly. “She’s not that old now,” Ambrosch added. “Not much older than you.”

“Well,” I said, “if you were n’t nice to her, I think I’d take a club and go for the whole lot of you. I could n’t stand it if you boys were inconsiderate, or thought of her as if she were just somebody who looked after you. You see I was very much in love with your mother once, and I know there’s nobody like her.”

"Well," I said, "if you weren't nice to her, I think I'd grab a bat and go after all of you. I couldn't handle it if you guys were inconsiderate or treated her like she was just someone who took care of you. You see, I used to be very much in love with your mom, and I know there’s no one like her."

The boys laughed and seemed pleased and embarrassed. “She never told us that,” said Anton. “But she’s always talked lots about you, and about what good times you used to have. She has a picture of you that she cut out of the Chicago paper once, and Leo says he recognized you when you drove up to the windmill. You can’t tell about Leo, though; sometimes he likes to be smart.”

The boys laughed and looked both happy and a bit shy. “She never mentioned that,” said Anton. “But she always talks a lot about you and the fun times you had. She has a photo of you that she clipped from the Chicago paper once, and Leo says he recognized you when you drove up to the windmill. But you can't really trust Leo; sometimes he just likes to act clever.”

[pg 391]

We brought the cows home to the corner nearest the barn, and the boys milked them while night came on. Everything was as it should be: the strong smell of sunflowers and ironweed in the dew, the clear blue and gold of the sky, the evening star, the purr of the milk into the pails, the grunts and squeals of the pigs fighting over their supper. I began to feel the loneliness of the farm-boy at evening, when the chores seem everlastingly the same, and the world so far away.

We took the cows back to the corner closest to the barn, and the boys milked them as night fell. Everything felt just right: the strong smell of sunflowers and ironweed in the dew, the clear blue and gold of the sky, the evening star, the sound of milk pouring into the pails, and the grunts and squeals of the pigs fighting over their dinner. I started to feel the loneliness of a farm boy at dusk, when the chores seem never-ending and the world feels so distant.

What a tableful we were at supper; two long rows of restless heads in the lamplight, and so many eyes fastened excitedly upon Ántonia as she sat at the head of the table, filling the plates and starting the dishes on their way. The children were seated according to a system; a little one next an older one, who was to watch over his behavior and to see that he got his food. Anna and Yulka left their chairs from time to time to bring fresh plates of kolaches and pitchers of milk.

What a lively group we were at dinner; two long rows of restless heads in the lamplight, with so many eyes eagerly focused on Ántonia as she sat at the head of the table, filling the plates and passing the dishes around. The children were seated in a specific order; a little one next to an older one, who was responsible for looking after him and making sure he got his food. Anna and Yulka occasionally got up from their chairs to bring fresh plates of kolaches and pitchers of milk.

After supper we went into the parlor, so that Yulka and Leo could play for me. Ántonia went first, carrying the lamp. There were not nearly chairs enough to go round, so the younger children sat down on the bare[pg 392] floor. Little Lucie whispered to me that they were going to have a parlor carpet if they got ninety cents for their wheat. Leo, with a good deal of fussing, got out his violin. It was old Mr. Shimerda’s instrument, which Ántonia had always kept, and it was too big for him. But he played very well for a self-taught boy. Poor Yulka’s efforts were not so successful. While they were playing, little Nina got up from her corner, came out into the middle of the floor, and began to do a pretty little dance on the boards with her bare feet. No one paid the least attention to her, and when she was through she stole back and sat down by her brother.

After dinner, we went into the living room so Yulka and Leo could perform for me. Ántonia went first, carrying the lamp. There definitely weren't enough chairs, so the younger kids sat down on the bare[pg 392]floor. Little Lucie whispered to me that they would get a parlor carpet if they made ninety cents from their wheat. Leo, with a lot of fuss, managed to get out his violin. It was old Mr. Shimerda’s instrument, which Ántonia had always kept, and it was too large for him. But he played really well for a self-taught boy. Poor Yulka didn’t do as well. While they were playing, little Nina got up from her corner, danced into the middle of the floor, and began to do a pretty little dance on the boards with her bare feet. No one paid any attention to her, and when she finished, she quietly snuck back and sat down next to her brother.

Ántonia spoke to Leo in Bohemian. He frowned and wrinkled up his face. He seemed to be trying to pout, but his attempt only brought out dimples in unusual places. After twisting and screwing the keys, he played some Bohemian airs, without the organ to hold him back, and that went better. The boy was so restless that I had not had a chance to look at his face before. My first impression was right; he really was faun-like. He had n’t much head behind his ears, and his tawny fleece grew down thick to the back of his[pg 393] neck. His eyes were not frank and wide apart like those of the other boys, but were deep-set, gold-green in color, and seemed sensitive to the light. His mother said he got hurt oftener than all the others put together. He was always trying to ride the colts before they were broken, teasing the turkey gobbler, seeing just how much red the bull would stand for, or how sharp the new axe was.

Ántonia spoke to Leo in Bohemian. He frowned and scrunched up his face. It looked like he was trying to pout, but all that came out were dimples in unusual places. After fiddling with the keys, he played some Bohemian tunes, and that went better since he wasn't held back by the organ. The boy was so restless that I hadn't had a chance to see his face before. My first impression was spot on; he really did have a faun-like appearance. There wasn’t much head behind his ears, and his tawny hair grew thickly down the back of his neck. His eyes weren’t open and wide like the other boys', but rather deep-set, gold-green in color, appearing sensitive to light. His mother said he got hurt more often than all the others put together. He was always trying to ride the colts before they were broken, teasing the turkey gobbler, testing how much the bull would tolerate, or how sharp the new axe was.

After the concert was over Ántonia brought out a big boxful of photographs; she and Anton in their wedding clothes, holding hands; her brother Ambrosch and his very fat wife, who had a farm of her own, and who bossed her husband, I was delighted to hear; the three Bohemian Marys and their large families.

After the concert was over, Ántonia pulled out a large box full of photographs; she and Anton in their wedding outfits, holding hands; her brother Ambrosch and his very overweight wife, who had her own farm and who bossed her husband around, which I was happy to hear; the three Bohemian Marys and their big families.

“You would n’t believe how steady those girls have turned out,” Ántonia remarked. “Mary Svoboda’s the best butter-maker in all this country, and a fine manager. Her children will have a grand chance.”

“You wouldn’t believe how responsible those girls have become,” Ántonia said. “Mary Svoboda is the best butter-maker in the whole area, and she’s a great manager. Her kids are going to have an amazing opportunity.”

As Ántonia turned over the pictures the young Cuzaks stood behind her chair, looking over her shoulder with interested faces. Nina and Jan, after trying to see round the taller ones, quietly brought a chair, climbed up on it, and stood close together, looking. The[pg 394] little boy forgot his shyness and grinned delightedly when familiar faces came into view. In the group about Ántonia I was conscious of a kind of physical harmony. They leaned this way and that, and were not afraid to touch each other. They contemplated the photographs with pleased recognition; looked at some admiringly, as if these characters in their mother’s girlhood had been remarkable people. The little children, who could not speak English, murmured comments to each other in their rich old language.

As Ántonia flipped through the pictures, the young Cuzaks gathered behind her chair, peering over her shoulder with curious expressions. Nina and Jan, after trying to see past the taller kids, quietly grabbed a chair, climbed up, and stood close together to look. The[pg 394] little boy forgot his shyness and beamed with joy when familiar faces appeared. In the group around Ántonia, I felt a sense of physical harmony. They leaned in different directions and weren’t afraid to touch each other. They admired the photographs with warm recognition, looking at some as if the people from their mother’s youth had been extraordinary individuals. The little kids, who didn’t speak English, whispered comments to each other in their rich old language.

Ántonia held out a photograph of Lena that had come from San Francisco last Christmas. “Does she still look like that? She has n’t been home for six years now.” Yes, it was exactly like Lena, I told her; a comely woman, a trifle too plump, in a hat a trifle too large, but with the old lazy eyes, and the old dimpled ingenuousness still lurking at the corners of her mouth.

Ántonia held out a photo of Lena that had come from San Francisco last Christmas. “Does she still look like that? She hasn’t been home for six years now.” Yes, it looked exactly like Lena, I told her; a pretty woman, a little too plump, in a hat that was a bit too big, but with the same lazy eyes and the familiar dimpled innocence still lingering at the corners of her mouth.

There was a picture of Frances Harling in a be-frogged riding costume that I remembered well. “Is n’t she fine!” the girls murmured. They all assented. One could see that Frances had come down as a heroine in the family legend. Only Leo was unmoved.

There was a picture of Frances Harling in a fancy riding outfit that I remembered well. “Isn’t she great!” the girls whispered. They all agreed. It was clear that Frances had become a heroic figure in the family story. Only Leo didn’t seem impressed.

[pg 395]

“And there’s Mr. Harling, in his grand fur coat. He was awfully rich, was n’t he, mother?”

“And there’s Mr. Harling, in his fancy fur coat. He was super rich, wasn’t he, mom?”

“He was n’t any Rockefeller,” put in Master Leo, in a very low tone, which reminded me of the way in which Mrs. Shimerda had once said that my grandfather “was n’t Jesus.” His habitual skepticism was like a direct inheritance from that old woman.

“He wasn’t a Rockefeller,” Master Leo said in a low voice, reminding me of the way Mrs. Shimerda once said that my grandfather “wasn’t Jesus.” His usual skepticism seemed like a direct inheritance from that old woman.

“None of your smart speeches,” said Ambrosch severely.

“Cut out the smart speeches,” Ambrosch said sternly.

Leo poked out a supple red tongue at him, but a moment later broke into a giggle at a tintype of two men, uncomfortably seated, with an awkward-looking boy in baggy clothes standing between them; Jake and Otto and I! We had it taken, I remembered, when we went to Black Hawk on the first Fourth of July I spent in Nebraska. I was glad to see Jake’s grin again, and Otto’s ferocious mustaches. The young Cuzaks knew all about them.

Leo stuck out his flexible red tongue at him, but a moment later he started giggling at an old photo of two men, awkwardly sitting with an uncomfortable-looking boy in baggy clothes standing between them; Jake, Otto, and me! I remembered we had it taken when we went to Black Hawk on the first Fourth of July I spent in Nebraska. I was happy to see Jake’s smile again and Otto’s wild mustaches. The young Cuzaks knew all about them.

“He made grandfather’s coffin, did n’t he?” Anton asked.

“He made Grandpa’s coffin, right?” Anton asked.

“Was n’t they good fellows, Jim?” Ántonia’s eyes filled. “To this day I’m ashamed because I quarreled with Jake that way. I was saucy and impertinent to him, Leo, like you[pg 396] are with people sometimes, and I wish somebody had made me behave.”

“Weren’t they good guys, Jim?” Ántonia’s eyes welled up. “To this day I’m ashamed that I fought with Jake like that. I was rude and disrespectful to him, Leo, like you are with people sometimes, and I wish someone had made me act better.”

“We are n’t through with you, yet,” they warned me. They produced a photograph taken just before I went away to college; a tall youth in striped trousers and a straw hat, trying to look easy and jaunty.

“We’re not done with you yet,” they warned me. They showed me a photograph taken right before I left for college; a tall guy in striped pants and a straw hat, trying to look relaxed and stylish.

“Tell us, Mr. Burden,” said Charley, “about the rattler you killed at the dog town. How long was he? Sometimes mother says six feet and sometimes she says five.”

“Tell us, Mr. Burden,” said Charley, “about the rattlesnake you killed at the dog town. How long was it? Sometimes mom says six feet and sometimes she says five.”

These children seemed to be upon very much the same terms with Ántonia as the Harling children had been so many years before. They seemed to feel the same pride in her, and to look to her for stories and entertainment as we used to do.

These kids seemed to have a similar relationship with Ántonia as the Harling kids did many years ago. They seemed to take the same pride in her and looked to her for stories and entertainment just like we used to.

It was eleven o’clock when I at last took my bag and some blankets and started for the barn with the boys. Their mother came to the door with us, and we tarried for a moment to look out at the white slope of the corral and the two ponds asleep in the moonlight, and the long sweep of the pasture under the star-sprinkled sky.

It was eleven o'clock when I finally grabbed my bag and some blankets and headed to the barn with the boys. Their mom came to the door with us, and we paused for a moment to admire the white slope of the corral, the two ponds shimmering in the moonlight, and the vast pasture stretching out beneath the starry sky.

The boys told me to choose my own place in the haymow, and I lay down before a big[pg 397] window, left open in warm weather, that looked out into the stars. Ambrosch and Leo cuddled up in a hay-cave, back under the eaves, and lay giggling and whispering. They tickled each other and tossed and tumbled in the hay; and then, all at once, as if they had been shot, they were still. There was hardly a minute between giggles and bland slumber.

The boys told me to pick my own spot in the hayloft, and I lay down in front of a big[pg 397] window that was open in the warm weather, looking out at the stars. Ambrosch and Leo snuggled up in a hay-cave back under the eaves, giggling and whispering. They tickled each other and rolled around in the hay; then, suddenly, as if they had been shot, they were quiet. There was barely a minute between their laughter and peaceful sleep.

I lay awake for a long while, until the slow-moving moon passed my window on its way up the heavens. I was thinking about Ántonia and her children; about Anna’s solicitude for her, Ambrosch’s grave affection, Leo’s jealous, animal little love. That moment, when they all came tumbling out of the cave into the light, was a sight any man might have come far to see. Ántonia had always been one to leave images in the mind that did not fade—that grew stronger with time. In my memory there was a succession of such pictures, fixed there like the old woodcuts of one’s first primer: Ántonia kicking her bare legs against the sides of my pony when we came home in triumph with our snake; Ántonia in her black shawl and fur cap, as she stood by her father’s grave in the snowstorm; Ántonia coming in with her work-team along the[pg 398] evening sky-line. She lent herself to immemorial human attitudes which we recognize by instinct as universal and true. I had not been mistaken. She was a battered woman now, not a lovely girl; but she still had that something which fires the imagination, could still stop one’s breath for a moment by a look or gesture that somehow revealed the meaning in common things. She had only to stand in the orchard, to put her hand on a little crab tree and look up at the apples, to make you feel the goodness of planting and tending and harvesting at last. All the strong things of her heart came out in her body, that had been so tireless in serving generous emotions.

I lay awake for a long time, until the slow-moving moon passed by my window on its way up to the sky. I was thinking about Ántonia and her kids; about Anna’s concern for her, Ambrosch’s serious affection, and Leo’s jealous, raw love. That moment when they all tumbled out of the cave into the light was something any man would travel far to see. Ántonia had always left images in the mind that didn't fade—those that grew stronger with time. In my memory, there were a series of such images, fixed there like the old woodcuts from your first workbook: Ántonia kicking her bare legs against the sides of my pony when we returned triumphantly with our snake; Ántonia in her black shawl and fur cap, standing by her father’s grave in the snowstorm; Ántonia coming in with her work-team against the evening skyline. She embodied timeless human emotions that we recognize instinctively as universal and true. I hadn’t been wrong. She was a worn woman now, not a beautiful girl; but she still had that spark that ignites the imagination, could still take your breath away for a moment with a look or gesture that somehow revealed deeper meaning in simple things. She only had to stand in the orchard, rest her hand on a little crabapple tree, and look up at the apples to make you feel the goodness of planting, tending, and finally harvesting. All the strength within her heart came through her body, which had tirelessly served generous emotions.

It was no wonder that her sons stood tall and straight. She was a rich mine of life, like the founders of early races.

It’s not surprising that her sons stood tall and straight. She was a deep source of life, like the founders of early civilizations.


[pg 399]

II

When I awoke in the morning long bands of sunshine were coming in at the window and reaching back under the eaves where the two boys lay. Leo was wide awake and was tickling his brother’s leg with a dried cone-flower he had pulled out of the hay. Ambrosch kicked at him and turned over. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Leo lay on his back, elevated one foot, and began exercising his toes. He picked up dried flowers with his toes and brandished them in the belt of sunlight. After he had amused himself thus for some time, he rose on one elbow and began to look at me, cautiously, then critically, blinking his eyes in the light. His expression was droll; it dismissed me lightly. “This old fellow is no different from other people. He does n’t know my secret.” He seemed conscious of possessing a keener power of enjoyment than other people; his quick recognitions made him frantically impatient of deliberate judgments. He always knew what he wanted without thinking.

When I woke up in the morning, long beams of sunshine were coming through the window and stretching back under the eaves where the two boys were lying. Leo was wide awake and was tickling his brother’s leg with a dried cone flower he had pulled from the hay. Ambrosch kicked at him and turned over. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Leo lay on his back, lifted one foot, and started exercising his toes. He picked up dried flowers with his toes and waved them in the sunlight. After entertaining himself this way for a while, he propped himself up on one elbow and began to look at me, carefully and then critically, blinking in the light. His expression was funny; it dismissed me casually. “This old guy is just like everyone else. He doesn’t know my secret.” He seemed aware that he had a greater ability to enjoy life than other people; his quick insights made him intensely impatient with careful judgments. He always knew what he wanted without having to think about it.

[pg 400]

After dressing in the hay, I washed my face in cold water at the windmill. Breakfast was ready when I entered the kitchen, and Yulka was baking griddle-cakes. The three older boys set off for the fields early. Leo and Yulka were to drive to town to meet their father, who would return from Wilber on the noon train.

After getting dressed in the hay, I splashed my face with cold water at the windmill. Breakfast was ready when I walked into the kitchen, and Yulka was making griddle cakes. The three older boys left for the fields early. Leo and Yulka were going to drive to town to meet their dad, who was coming back from Wilber on the noon train.

“We’ll only have a lunch at noon,” Ántonia said, “and cook the geese for supper, when our papa will be here. I wish my Martha could come down to see you. They have a Ford car now, and she don’t seem so far away from me as she used to. But her husband’s crazy about his farm and about having everything just right, and they almost never get away except on Sundays. He’s a handsome boy, and he’ll be rich some day. Everything he takes hold of turns out well. When they bring that baby in here, and unwrap him, he looks like a little prince; Martha takes care of him so beautiful. I’m reconciled to her being away from me now, but at first I cried like I was putting her into her coffin.”

“We'll just have lunch at noon,” Ántonia said, “and cook the geese for dinner when our dad gets here. I wish my Martha could come down to see you. They have a Ford now, so she doesn’t feel as far away from me as she used to. But her husband is really into his farm and making sure everything is perfect, so they hardly ever get away except on Sundays. He's a handsome guy, and he’s going to be rich someday. Everything he touches turns out great. When they bring that baby in here and unwrap him, he looks like a little prince; Martha takes such good care of him. I've come to terms with her being away from me now, but at first I cried like I was burying her.”

We were alone in the kitchen, except for Anna, who was pouring cream into the churn. She looked up at me. “Yes, she did. We were just ashamed of mother. She went round[pg 401] crying, when Martha was so happy, and the rest of us were all glad. Joe certainly was patient with you, mother.”

We were in the kitchen by ourselves, except for Anna, who was pouring cream into the churn. She glanced up at me. “Yeah, she did. We just felt ashamed of Mom. She went around crying when Martha was so happy, and the rest of us were all glad. Joe was definitely patient with you, Mom.”

Ántonia nodded and smiled at herself. “I know it was silly, but I could n’t help it. I wanted her right here. She’d never been away from me a night since she was born. If Anton had made trouble about her when she was a baby, or wanted me to leave her with my mother, I would n’t have married him. I could n’t. But he always loved her like she was his own.”

Ántonia nodded and smiled at herself. “I know it was silly, but I couldn't help it. I wanted her right here. She'd never been away from me a single night since she was born. If Anton had caused issues about her when she was a baby, or wanted me to leave her with my mom, I wouldn't have married him. I couldn't. But he always loved her like she was his own.”

“I did n’t even know Martha was n’t my full sister until after she was engaged to Joe,” Anna told me.

“I didn’t even know Martha wasn’t my full sister until after she got engaged to Joe,” Anna told me.

Toward the middle of the afternoon the wagon drove in, with the father and the eldest son. I was smoking in the orchard, and as I went out to meet them, Ántonia came running down from the house and hugged the two men as if they had been away for months.

Toward the middle of the afternoon, the wagon pulled in with the father and the oldest son. I was smoking in the orchard, and as I went out to greet them, Ántonia came running down from the house and hugged the two men as if they had been gone for months.

“Papa” interested me, from my first glimpse of him. He was shorter than his older sons; a crumpled little man, with run-over boot heels, and he carried one shoulder higher than the other. But he moved very quickly, and there was an air of jaunty liveliness about him. He[pg 402] had a strong, ruddy color, thick black hair, a little grizzled, a curly mustache, and red lips. His smile showed the strong teeth of which his wife was so proud, and as he saw me his lively, quizzical eyes told me that he knew all about me. He looked like a humorous philosopher who had hitched up one shoulder under the burdens of life, and gone on his way having a good time when he could. He advanced to meet me and gave me a hard hand, burned red on the back and heavily coated with hair. He wore his Sunday clothes, very thick and hot for the weather, an unstarched white shirt, and a blue necktie with big white dots, like a little boy’s, tied in a flowing bow. Cuzak began at once to talk about his holiday—from politeness he spoke in English.

“Papa” caught my interest from the moment I saw him. He was shorter than his older sons; a wrinkled little guy, with worn-down boot heels, and one shoulder higher than the other. But he moved quickly, and there was a lively energy about him. He had a strong, ruddy complexion, thick black hair with a bit of gray, a curly mustache, and red lips. His smile revealed the strong teeth his wife was so proud of, and when he saw me, his lively, curious eyes let me know he was well aware of who I was. He looked like a funny philosopher who had shrugged off life's burdens and kept going, making the most of things. He walked over to greet me and shook my hand, which was rough and sunburned on the back, and heavily coated with hair. He was dressed in his Sunday clothes, which were thick and hot for the weather, an unstarched white shirt, and a blue necktie with big white dots tied in a loose bow, like a little boy's. Cuzak started talking about his holiday right away—out of politeness, he spoke in English.

“Mama, I wish you had see the lady dance on the slack-wire in the street at night. They throw a bright light on her and she float through the air something beautiful, like a bird! They have a dancing bear, like in the old country, and two three merry-go-around, and people in balloons, and what you call the big wheel, Rudolph?”

“Mama, I wish you could have seen the lady dancing on the tightrope in the street at night. They shine a bright light on her and she glides through the air beautifully, like a bird! They have a dancing bear, like back in the old country, and a couple of merry-go-rounds, and people in balloons, and what do you call the big wheel, Rudolph?”

“A Ferris wheel,” Rudolph entered the[pg 403] conversation in a deep baritone voice. He was six foot two, and had a chest like a young blacksmith. “We went to the big dance in the hall behind the saloon last night, mother, and I danced with all the girls, and so did father. I never saw so many pretty girls. It was a Bohunk crowd, for sure. We did n’t hear a word of English on the street, except from the show people, did we, papa?”

“A Ferris wheel,” Rudolph joined the[pg 403] conversation in a deep voice. He was six foot two and had a chest like a young blacksmith. “We went to the big dance in the hall behind the saloon last night, mom, and I danced with all the girls, and so did dad. I’ve never seen so many beautiful girls. It was definitely a Bohunk crowd. We didn’t hear a word of English on the street, except from the performers, did we, dad?”

Cuzak nodded. “And very many send word to you, Ántonia. You will excuse”—turning to me—“if I tell her.” While we walked toward the house he related incidents and delivered messages in the tongue he spoke fluently, and I dropped a little behind, curious to know what their relations had become—or remained. The two seemed to be on terms of easy friendliness, touched with humor. Clearly, she was the impulse, and he the corrective. As they went up the hill he kept glancing at her sidewise, to see whether she got his point, or how she received it. I noticed later that he always looked at people sidewise, as a work-horse does at its yoke-mate. Even when he sat opposite me in the kitchen, talking, he would turn his head a little toward the clock or the stove and look at me from[pg 404] the side, but with frankness and good-nature. This trick did not suggest duplicity or secretiveness, but merely long habit, as with the horse.

Cuzak nodded. “And a lot of people send their regards to you, Ántonia. You’ll excuse”—he turned to me—“if I share that with her.” As we walked toward the house, he shared stories and conveyed messages in the language he spoke fluently, while I lagged a bit behind, curious to see how their relationship had changed—or stayed the same. The two seemed to have a friendly rapport, filled with humor. Clearly, she was the spark, and he was the grounding force. As they climbed the hill, he kept glancing at her from the side to see if she understood his points, or how she reacted to them. I later noticed that he always looked at people from the side, like a workhorse would glance at its partner. Even when he sat across from me in the kitchen, talking, he would slightly turn his head toward the clock or the stove and look at me from[pg 404] the side, but with openness and good nature. This habit didn’t suggest deceit or secretiveness, just a long-standing way of being, much like the horse.

He had brought a tintype of himself and Rudolph for Ántonia’s collection, and several paper bags of candy for the children. He looked a little disappointed when his wife showed him a big box of candy I had got in Denver—she had n’t let the children touch it the night before. He put his candy away in the cupboard, “for when she rains,” and glanced at the box, chuckling. “I guess you must have hear about how my family ain’t so small,” he said.

He had brought a tintype of himself and Rudolph for Ántonia’s collection, along with several paper bags of candy for the kids. He seemed a bit disappointed when his wife showed him a big box of candy I had gotten in Denver—she hadn’t let the kids touch it the night before. He put his candy away in the cupboard, “for when it rains,” and glanced at the box, chuckling. “I guess you must have heard how my family isn’t that small,” he said.

Cuzak sat down behind the stove and watched his women-folk and the little children with equal amusement. He thought they were nice, and he thought they were funny, evidently. He had been off dancing with the girls and forgetting that he was an old fellow, and now his family rather surprised him; he seemed to think it a joke that all these children should belong to him. As the younger ones slipped up to him in his retreat, he kept taking things out of his pockets; penny dolls, a wooden clown, a balloon pig that was[pg 405] inflated by a whistle. He beckoned to the little boy they called Jan, whispered to him, and presented him with a paper snake, gently, so as not to startle him. Looking over the boy’s head he said to me, “This one is bashful. He gets left.”

Cuzak sat down behind the stove and watched the women and little kids with equal amusement. He thought they were nice and funny, obviously. He had been out dancing with the girls, forgetting that he was an old man, and now his family surprised him; he seemed to find it amusing that all these kids belonged to him. As the younger ones approached him, he kept pulling things out of his pockets: penny dolls, a wooden clown, a balloon pig that was inflated by a whistle. He waved over to the little boy they called Jan, whispered to him, and gently presented him with a paper snake so as not to startle him. Looking over the boy’s head, he said to me, “This one is shy. He gets left.”

Cuzak had brought home with him a roll of illustrated Bohemian papers. He opened them and began to tell his wife the news, much of which seemed to relate to one person. I heard the name Vasakova, Vasakova, repeated several times with lively interest, and presently I asked him whether he were talking about the singer, Maria Vasak.

Cuzak had brought home a roll of illustrated Bohemian newspapers. He opened them up and started to share the news with his wife, much of which seemed to focus on one person. I heard the name Vasakova repeated several times with great interest, and eventually, I asked him if he was talking about the singer, Maria Vasak.

“You know? You have heard, maybe?” he asked incredulously. When I assured him that I had heard her, he pointed out her picture and told me that Vasak had broken her leg, climbing in the Austrian Alps, and would not be able to fill her engagements. He seemed delighted to find that I had heard her sing in London and in Vienna; got out his pipe and lit it to enjoy our talk the better. She came from his part of Prague. His father used to mend her shoes for her when she was a student. Cuzak questioned me about her looks,[pg 406] her popularity, her voice; but he particularly wanted to know whether I had noticed her tiny feet, and whether I thought she had saved much money. She was extravagant, of course, but he hoped she would n’t squander everything, and have nothing left when she was old. As a young man, working in Wienn, he had seen a good many artists who were old and poor, making one glass of beer last all evening, and “it was not very nice, that.”

“You know? Have you heard, maybe?” he asked, clearly surprised. When I confirmed that I had heard her, he pointed out her picture and told me that Vasak had broken her leg while climbing in the Austrian Alps and wouldn’t be able to keep her engagements. He seemed thrilled to learn that I had heard her sing in London and Vienna; he took out his pipe and lit it to enjoy our conversation more. She came from his part of Prague. His father used to fix her shoes when she was a student. Cuzak asked me about her looks, her popularity, her voice; but he especially wanted to know if I had noticed her tiny feet and whether I thought she had saved a lot of money. She was extravagant, of course, but he hoped she wouldn’t blow all her money and end up with nothing when she got older. As a young man working in Vienna, he had seen many artists who were old and poor, nursing one glass of beer all evening, and “it was not very nice, that.”

When the boys came in from milking and feeding, the long table was laid, and two brown geese, stuffed with apples, were put down sizzling before Ántonia. She began to carve, and Rudolph, who sat next his mother, started the plates on their way. When everybody was served, he looked across the table at me.

When the boys came in from milking and feeding, the long table was set, and two brown geese, stuffed with apples, were placed down sizzling in front of Ántonia. She began to carve, and Rudolph, who sat next to his mother, started passing out the plates. Once everyone was served, he looked across the table at me.

“Have you been to Black Hawk lately, Mr. Burden? Then I wonder if you’ve heard about the Cutters?”

“Have you been to Black Hawk recently, Mr. Burden? If so, I wonder if you’ve heard about the Cutters?”

No, I had heard nothing at all about them.

No, I hadn't heard anything about them at all.

“Then you must tell him, son, though it’s a terrible thing to talk about at supper. Now, all you children be quiet, Rudolph is going to tell about the murder.”

“Then you need to tell him, son, even though it’s a terrible thing to discuss at dinner. Now, all you kids be quiet, Rudolph is going to talk about the murder.”

“Hurrah! The murder!” the children murmured, looking pleased and interested.

“Yay! The murder!” the children whispered, looking happy and intrigued.

[pg 407]

Rudolph told his story in great detail, with occasional promptings from his mother or father.

Rudolph shared his story in great detail, with occasional prompts from his mom or dad.

Wick Cutter and his wife had gone on living in the house that Ántonia and I knew so well, and in the way we knew so well. They grew to be very old people. He shriveled up, Ántonia said, until he looked like a little old yellow monkey, for his beard and his fringe of hair never changed color. Mrs. Cutter remained flushed and wild-eyed as we had known her, but as the years passed she became afflicted with a shaking palsy which made her nervous nod continuous instead of occasional. Her hands were so uncertain that she could no longer disfigure china, poor woman! As the couple grew older, they quarreled more and more about the ultimate disposition of their “property.” A new law was passed in the State, securing the surviving wife a third of her husband’s estate under all conditions. Cutter was tormented by the fear that Mrs. Cutter would live longer than he, and that eventually her “people,” whom he had always hated so violently, would inherit. Their quarrels on this subject passed the boundary of the close-growing cedars, and were heard in the street by whoever wished to loiter and listen.

Wick Cutter and his wife continued living in the house that Ántonia and I knew so well, and in the same way we remembered it. They became very old. He shriveled up, Ántonia said, until he looked like a little old yellow monkey because his beard and hair barely changed color. Mrs. Cutter stayed flushed and wild-eyed just like we had known her, but as the years went by, she developed a shaking palsy that turned her nervous nod into a constant motion instead of just now and then. Her hands trembled so much that she could no longer break china, poor woman! As the couple aged, they argued more and more about what to do with their “property.” A new law was passed in the State that guaranteed the surviving wife one-third of her husband's estate under all circumstances. Cutter was haunted by the fear that Mrs. Cutter would outlive him, and that eventually her “people,” whom he had always hated so much, would inherit. Their arguments about this topic went beyond the dense cedars and could be heard in the street by anyone who wanted to hang around and listen.

[pg 408]

One morning, two years ago, Cutter went into the hardware store and bought a pistol, saying he was going to shoot a dog, and adding that he “thought he would take a shot at an old cat while he was about it.” (Here the children interrupted Rudolph’s narrative by smothered giggles.)

One morning, two years ago, Cutter walked into the hardware store and bought a gun, saying he was going to shoot a dog, and adding that he "thought he might take a shot at an old cat while he was at it." (Here the children interrupted Rudolph's story with muffled giggles.)

Cutter went out behind the hardware store, put up a target, practiced for an hour or so, and then went home. At six o’clock that evening, when several men were passing the Cutter house on their way home to supper, they heard a pistol shot. They paused and were looking doubtfully at one another, when another shot came crashing through an upstairs window. They ran into the house and found Wick Cutter lying on a sofa in his upstairs bedroom, with his throat torn open, bleeding on a roll of sheets he had placed beside his head.

Cutter went behind the hardware store, set up a target, practiced for about an hour, and then headed home. At six o’clock that evening, as several men were passing by the Cutter house on their way home for dinner, they heard a gunshot. They hesitated, looking uncertainly at each other when another shot suddenly came crashing through an upstairs window. They rushed into the house and found Wick Cutter lying on a sofa in his upstairs bedroom, his throat slashed open, bleeding onto a stack of sheets he'd placed beside his head.

“Walk in, gentlemen,” he said weakly. “I am alive, you see, and competent. You are witnesses that I have survived my wife. You will find her in her own room. Please make your examination at once, so that there will be no mistake.”

“Come in, gentlemen,” he said softly. “I am here, as you can see, and fully capable. You can confirm that I have outlived my wife. You'll find her in her room. Please proceed with your examination right away, so there's no confusion.”

One of the neighbors telephoned for a[pg 409] doctor, while the others went into Mrs. Cutter’s room. She was lying on her bed, in her nightgown and wrapper, shot through the heart. Her husband must have come in while she was taking her afternoon nap and shot her, holding the revolver near her breast. Her nightgown was burned from the powder.

One of the neighbors called for a[pg 409] doctor, while the others went into Ms. Cutter’s room. She was lying on her bed, in her nightgown and robe, shot in the heart. Her husband must have come in while she was taking her afternoon nap and shot her, holding the gun close to her chest. Her nightgown was scorched from the gunpowder.

The horrified neighbors rushed back to Cutter. He opened his eyes and said distinctly, “Mrs. Cutter is quite dead, gentlemen, and I am conscious. My affairs are in order.” Then, Rudolph said, “he let go and died.”

The shocked neighbors hurried back to Cutter. He opened his eyes and said clearly, “Mrs. Cutter is dead, gentlemen, and I am aware. My affairs are in order.” Then, Rudolph said, “he died peacefully.”

On his desk the coroner found a letter, dated at five o’clock that afternoon. It stated that he had just shot his wife; that any will she might secretly have made would be invalid, as he survived her. He meant to shoot himself at six o’clock and would, if he had strength, fire a shot through the window in the hope that passers-by might come in and see him “before life was extinct,” as he wrote.

On his desk, the coroner found a letter, dated at five o’clock that afternoon. It said that he had just shot his wife; that any will she might have secretly made would be invalid since he outlived her. He planned to shoot himself at six o’clock and, if he had the strength, would fire a shot through the window in the hope that passers-by might come in and see him “before life was extinct,” as he wrote.

“Now, would you have thought that man had such a cruel heart?” Ántonia turned to me after the story was told. “To go and do that poor woman out of any comfort she might have from his money after he was gone!”

“Now, would you have thought that someone could have such a cruel heart?” Ántonia turned to me after the story was told. “To take away any comfort that poor woman might have had from his money after he was gone!”

“Did you ever hear of anybody else that[pg 410] killed himself for spite, Mr. Burden?” asked Rudolph.

“Did you ever hear of anyone else who[pg 410] killed themselves out of spite, Mr. Burden?” asked Rudolph.

I admitted that I had n’t. Every lawyer learns over and over how strong a motive hate can be, but in my collection of legal anecdotes I had nothing to match this one. When I asked how much the estate amounted to, Rudolph said it was a little over a hundred thousand dollars.

I admitted that I hadn’t. Every lawyer learns repeatedly how powerful a motive hate can be, but in my collection of legal stories, I had nothing that compared to this one. When I asked how much the estate was worth, Rudolph said it was just over a hundred thousand dollars.

Cuzak gave me a twinkling, sidelong glance. “The lawyers, they got a good deal of it, sure,” he said merrily.

Cuzak gave me a sparkling, sideways look. “The lawyers, they got a good chunk of it, for sure,” he said cheerfully.

A hundred thousand dollars; so that was the fortune that had been scraped together by such hard dealing, and that Cutter himself had died for in the end!

A hundred thousand dollars; so that was the fortune that had been cobbled together through such tough negotiations, and that Cutter himself had ultimately died for!

After supper Cuzak and I took a stroll in the orchard and sat down by the windmill to smoke. He told me his story as if it were my business to know it.

After dinner, Cuzak and I took a walk in the orchard and sat down by the windmill to smoke. He shared his story with me as if it was my responsibility to know it.

His father was a shoemaker, his uncle a furrier, and he, being a younger son, was apprenticed to the latter’s trade. You never got anywhere working for your relatives, he said, so when he was a journeyman he went to Vienna and worked in a big fur shop, earning good money. But a young fellow who liked a[pg 411] good time did n’t save anything in Vienna; there were too many pleasant ways of spending every night what he’d made in the day. After three years there, he came to New York. He was badly advised and went to work on furs during a strike, when the factories were offering big wages. The strikers won, and Cuzak was blacklisted. As he had a few hundred dollars ahead, he decided to go to Florida and raise oranges. He had always thought he would like to raise oranges! The second year a hard frost killed his young grove, and he fell ill with malaria. He came to Nebraska to visit his cousin, Anton Jelinek, and to look about. When he began to look about, he saw Ántonia, and she was exactly the kind of girl he had always been hunting for. They were married at once, though he had to borrow money from his cousin to buy the wedding-ring.

His father was a shoemaker, his uncle was a furrier, and since he was the younger son, he was apprenticed to his uncle's trade. He always said you couldn’t get anywhere working for family, so when he became a journeyman, he moved to Vienna and got a job at a large fur shop, making good money. But a young guy who enjoyed a good time didn't save anything in Vienna; there were too many fun ways to spend every night the money he made during the day. After three years there, he headed to New York. He made a poor choice and took a job in furs during a strike, when the factories were offering high wages. The strikers succeeded, and Cuzak ended up on a blacklist. Since he had a few hundred dollars saved up, he decided to go to Florida and grow oranges. He had always thought that would be a nice thing to do! In his second year, a severe frost wiped out his young grove, and he got sick with malaria. He then went to Nebraska to visit his cousin, Anton Jelinek, and to check things out. While he was exploring, he saw Ántonia, and she was exactly the kind of girl he had always been looking for. They got married right away, even though he had to borrow money from his cousin to buy the wedding ring.

“It was a pretty hard job, breaking up this place and making the first crops grow,” he said, pushing back his hat and scratching his grizzled hair. “Sometimes I git awful sore on this place and want to quit, but my wife she always say we better stick it out. The babies come along pretty fast, so it look like it be hard to move, anyhow. I guess she was[pg 412] right, all right. We got this place clear now. We pay only twenty dollars an acre then, and I been offered a hundred. We bought another quarter ten years ago, and we got it most paid for. We got plenty boys; we can work a lot of land. Yes, she is a good wife for a poor man. She ain’t always so strict with me, neither. Sometimes maybe I drink a little too much beer in town, and when I come home she don’t say nothing. She don’t ask me no questions. We always get along fine, her and me, like at first. The children don’t make trouble between us, like sometimes happens.” He lit another pipe and pulled on it contentedly.

“It was really hard work breaking up this place and getting the first crops to grow,” he said, pushing back his hat and scratching his gray hair. “Sometimes I get really frustrated with this place and want to give up, but my wife always says we should stick it out. The babies come along pretty fast, so it seems like moving would be tough, anyway. I guess she was right. We have this place cleared out now. We paid only twenty dollars an acre back then, and I've been offered a hundred. We bought another quarter ten years ago, and we nearly have it paid off. We have plenty of boys; we can work a lot of land. Yes, she’s a great wife for a poor man. She isn't always so tough on me, either. Sometimes I might drink a little too much beer in town, and when I come home, she doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t ask me any questions. We always get along well, her and me, just like in the beginning. The children don’t cause trouble between us, like sometimes happens.” He lit another pipe and smoked it contentedly.

I found Cuzak a most companionable fellow. He asked me a great many questions about my trip through Bohemia, about Vienna and the Ringstrasse and the theaters.

I found Cuzak to be a really friendly guy. He asked me a lot of questions about my trip through Bohemia, about Vienna, the Ringstrasse, and the theaters.

“Gee! I like to go back there once, when the boys is big enough to farm the place. Sometimes when I read the papers from the old country, I pretty near run away,” he confessed with a little laugh. “I never did think how I would be a settled man like this.”

“Wow! I really want to go back there one day, when the boys are old enough to run the farm. Sometimes when I read the papers from the old country, I almost feel like running away,” he admitted with a small laugh. “I never thought I would end up as a settled man like this.”

He was still, as Ántonia said, a city man. He liked theaters and lighted streets and music and a game of dominoes after the day’s[pg 413] work was over. His sociability was stronger than his acquisitive instinct. He liked to live day by day and night by night, sharing in the excitement of the crowd.—Yet his wife had managed to hold him here on a farm, in one of the loneliest countries in the world.

He was still, as Ántonia said, a city guy. He enjoyed theaters, well-lit streets, music, and a game of dominoes after the day’s[pg 413] work was done. His need for socializing was stronger than his desire for material things. He preferred to live one day at a time and one night at a time, joining in the excitement of the crowd.—Yet his wife had managed to keep him here on a farm, in one of the most isolated places in the world.

I could see the little chap, sitting here every evening by the windmill, nursing his pipe and listening to the silence; the wheeze of the pump, the grunting of the pigs, an occasional squawking when the hens were disturbed by a rat. It did rather seem to me that Cuzak had been made the instrument of Ántonia’s special mission. This was a fine life, certainly, but it was n’t the kind of life he had wanted to live. I wondered whether the life that was right for one was ever right for two!

I could see the little guy, sitting here every evening by the windmill, smoking his pipe and enjoying the quiet; the wheeze of the pump, the grunting of the pigs, and an occasional squawk when the hens got spooked by a rat. It really felt to me that Cuzak had become the instrument of Ántonia’s unique mission. This was a nice life, for sure, but it wasn’t the kind of life he had wanted to live. I wondered if the life that was right for one person could ever be right for two!

I asked Cuzak if he did n’t find it hard to do without the gay company he had always been used to. He knocked out his pipe against an upright, sighed, and dropped it into his pocket.

I asked Cuzak if he didn’t find it tough to be without the lively company he had always been used to. He knocked his pipe against a post, sighed, and put it in his pocket.

“At first I near go crazy with lonesomeness,” he said frankly, “but my woman is got such a warm heart. She always make it as good for me as she could. Now it ain’t so bad; I can begin to have some fun with my boys, already!”

“At first I almost went crazy with loneliness,” he said honestly, “but my woman has such a warm heart. She always makes it as good for me as she can. Now it isn’t so bad; I can start to have some fun with my friends, already!”

[pg 414]

As we walked toward the house, Cuzak cocked his hat jauntily over one ear and looked up at the moon. “Gee!” he said in a hushed voice, as if he had just wakened up, “it don’t seem like I am away from there twenty-six year!”

As we walked toward the house, Cuzak tilted his hat playfully to one side and looked up at the moon. “Wow!” he said in a quiet voice, as if he had just woken up, “it doesn’t feel like I’ve been away for twenty-six years!”


[pg 415]

III

After dinner the next day I said good-bye and drove back to Hastings to take the train for Black Hawk. Ántonia and her children gathered round my buggy before I started, and even the little ones looked up at me with friendly faces. Leo and Ambrosch ran ahead to open the lane gate. When I reached the bottom of the hill, I glanced back. The group was still there by the windmill. Ántonia was waving her apron.

After dinner the next day, I said goodbye and drove back to Hastings to catch the train to Black Hawk. Ántonia and her kids gathered around my buggy before I left, and even the little ones looked up at me with friendly smiles. Leo and Ambrosch ran ahead to open the gate. When I got to the bottom of the hill, I looked back. The group was still there by the windmill. Ántonia was waving her apron.

At the gate Ambrosch lingered beside my buggy, resting his arm on the wheel-rim. Leo slipped through the fence and ran off into the pasture.

At the gate, Ambrosch hung out next to my buggy, resting his arm on the wheel rim. Leo squeezed through the fence and darted off into the pasture.

“That’s like him,” his brother said with a shrug. “He’s a crazy kid. Maybe he’s sorry to have you go, and maybe he’s jealous. He’s jealous of anybody mother makes a fuss over, even the priest.”

“That's just like him,” his brother said with a shrug. “He's a wild kid. Maybe he's sad to see you go, and maybe he's jealous. He's jealous of anyone mom pays attention to, even the priest.”

I found I hated to leave this boy, with his pleasant voice and his fine head and eyes. He looked very manly as he stood there without[pg 416] a hat, the wind rippling his shirt about his brown neck and shoulders.

I realized I didn’t want to leave this guy, with his nice voice and handsome head and eyes. He looked really manly standing there without a hat, the wind blowing his shirt against his brown neck and shoulders.

“Don’t forget that you and Rudolph are going hunting with me up on the Niobrara next summer,” I said. “Your father’s agreed to let you off after harvest.”

“Don’t forget that you and Rudolph are going hunting with me up on the Niobrara next summer,” I said. “Your dad’s agreed to let you take time off after harvest.”

He smiled. “I won’t likely forget. I’ve never had such a nice thing offered to me before. I don’t know what makes you so nice to us boys,” he added, blushing.

He smiled. “I probably won’t forget. I’ve never had such a nice thing offered to me before. I don’t know what makes you so nice to us guys,” he added, blushing.

“Oh, yes you do!” I said, gathering up my reins.

“Oh, yes you do!” I said, grabbing my reins.

He made no answer to this, except to smile at me with unabashed pleasure and affection as I drove away.

He didn't respond to this, other than to smile at me with genuine joy and warmth as I drove away.

 

My day in Black Hawk was disappointing. Most of my old friends were dead or had moved away. Strange children, who meant nothing to me, were playing in the Harlings’ big yard when I passed; the mountain ash had been cut down, and only a sprouting stump was left of the tall Lombardy poplar that used to guard the gate. I hurried on. The rest of the morning I spent with Anton Jelinek, under a shady cottonwood tree in the yard behind his saloon. While I was having my mid-day[pg 417] dinner at the hotel, I met one of the old lawyers who was still in practice, and he took me up to his office and talked over the Cutter case with me. After that, I scarcely knew how to put in the time until the night express was due.

My day in Black Hawk was a letdown. Most of my old friends were either dead or had moved away. Strange kids, who didn’t mean anything to me, were playing in the Harlings’ big yard when I walked by; the mountain ash had been chopped down, and only a sprouting stump was left of the tall Lombardy poplar that used to stand by the gate. I rushed on. The rest of the morning, I spent with Anton Jelinek, under a shady cottonwood tree in the yard behind his saloon. While I was having my lunch at the hotel, I ran into one of the old lawyers who was still in practice, and he took me up to his office to discuss the Cutter case with me. After that, I barely knew how to pass the time until the night express was due.

I took a long walk north of the town, out into the pastures where the land was so rough that it had never been ploughed up, and the long red grass of early times still grew shaggy over the draws and hillocks. Out there I felt at home again. Overhead the sky was that indescribable blue of autumn; bright and shadowless, hard as enamel. To the south I could see the dun-shaded river bluffs that used to look so big to me, and all about stretched drying cornfields, of the pale-gold color I remembered so well. Russian thistles were blowing across the uplands and piling against the wire fences like barricades. Along the cattle paths the plumes of golden-rod were already fading into sun-warmed velvet, gray with gold threads in it. I had escaped from the curious depression that hangs over little towns, and my mind was full of pleasant things; trips I meant to take with the Cuzak boys, in the Bad Lands and up on the Stinking Water. There were enough Cuzaks to play with for[pg 418] a long while yet. Even after the boys grew up, there would always be Cuzak himself! I meant to tramp along a few miles of lighted streets with Cuzak.

I took a long walk north of town, into the fields where the land was so rough it had never been plowed, and the long red grass from earlier days still grew wildly over the dips and hills. Out there, I felt at home again. The sky above was that indescribable autumn blue; bright and shadowless, hard like enamel. To the south, I could see the brownish river bluffs that used to look so big to me, and all around stretched drying cornfields, the pale-gold color I remembered so well. Russian thistles were blowing across the hills and piling against the wire fences like barricades. Along the cattle paths, the goldenrod was already fading into sun-warmed velvet, gray with golden threads. I had escaped the odd heaviness that hangs over small towns, and my mind was full of good things; trips I planned to take with the Cuzak boys, in the Bad Lands and up on the Stinking Water. There were enough Cuzaks to hang out with for[pg 418] a long time. Even after the boys grew up, there would always be Cuzak himself! I intended to stroll along a few miles of lit streets with Cuzak.

As I wandered over those rough pastures, I had the good luck to stumble upon a bit of the first road that went from Black Hawk out to the north country; to my grandfather’s farm, then on to the Shimerdas’ and to the Norwegian settlement. Everywhere else it had been ploughed under when the highways were surveyed; this half-mile or so within the pasture fence was all that was left of that old road which used to run like a wild thing across the open prairie, clinging to the high places and circling and doubling like a rabbit before the hounds. On the level land the tracks had almost disappeared—were mere shadings in the grass, and a stranger would not have noticed them. But wherever the road had crossed a draw, it was easy to find. The rains had made channels of the wheel-ruts and washed them so deep that the sod had never healed over them. They looked like gashes torn by a grizzly’s claws, on the slopes where the farm wagons used to lurch up out of the hollows with a pull that brought curling[pg 419] muscles on the smooth hips of the horses. I sat down and watched the haystacks turn rosy in the slanting sunlight.

As I wandered through those rough fields, I was lucky enough to find a stretch of the original road that connected Black Hawk to the northern region; to my grandfather’s farm, then onward to the Shimerdas’ and the Norwegian settlement. Everywhere else, it had been plowed over when the highways were laid out; this half-mile or so inside the pasture fence was all that remained of that old road, which used to wind wildly across the open prairie, sticking to the high ground and zigzagging like a rabbit escaping from hounds. On the flat land, the tracks had nearly vanished—just faint marks in the grass that a stranger wouldn’t notice. But wherever the road crossed a ditch, it was easy to spot. The rain had carved deep channels in the wheel ruts, and the earth never managed to cover them up. They looked like gashes made by a grizzly's claws, on the slopes where farm wagons used to struggle out of the dips, pulling hard enough to flex the muscles on the smooth sides of the horses. I sat down and watched the haystacks glow pink in the slanted sunlight.

This was the road over which Ántonia and I came on that night when we got off the train at Black Hawk and were bedded down in the straw, wondering children, being taken we knew not whither. I had only to close my eyes to hear the rumbling of the wagons in the dark, and to be again overcome by that obliterating strangeness. The feelings of that night were so near that I could reach out and touch them with my hand. I had the sense of coming home to myself, and of having found out what a little circle man’s experience is. For Ántonia and for me, this had been the road of Destiny; had taken us to those early accidents of fortune which predetermined for us all that we can ever be. Now I understood that the same road was to bring us together again. Whatever we had missed, we possessed together the precious, the incommunicable past.

This was the road that Ántonia and I traveled on that night when we got off the train at Black Hawk and were settled in the straw, curious kids, being taken we didn’t know where. I just had to close my eyes to hear the rumbling of the wagons in the dark, and to feel that overwhelming sense of strangeness again. The emotions from that night were so close that I could almost reach out and touch them. I felt like I was coming home to myself and realized how small the circle of a person’s experiences can be. For Ántonia and me, this had been the road of Destiny; it led us to those early twists of fate that determined everything we could ever become. Now I understood that the same road was going to bring us back together. Whatever we had missed, we shared together the precious, unshareable past.

The End

The End


Footnotes

1.

The Bohemian name Ántonia is strongly accented on the first syllable, like the English name Anthony, and the i is, of course, given the sound of long e. The name is pronounced Anʹ-ton-ee-ah.

The Bohemian name Ántonia is emphasized on the first syllable, similar to the English name Anthony, and the i is pronounced like a long e. The name is pronounced Anʹ-ton-ee-ah.



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