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THE LOCK AND KEY LIBRARY
CLASSIC MYSTERY AND DETECTIVE STORIES
EDITED BY JULIAN HAWTHORNE
EDITED BY JULIAN HAWTHORNE
MODERN ENGLISH
Rudyard Kipling A. Conan Doyle
Rudyard Kipling Arthur Conan Doyle
Egerton Castle
Egerton Castle
Stanley J. Weyman Wilkie Collins
Stanley J. Weyman Wilkie Collins
Robert Louis Stevenson
Robert Louis Stevenson
NEW YORK
THE REVIEW OF REVIEWS CO.
1909
"And Sent out a Jet of Fire from His Nostrils"
Drawing by Power O'Malley.
To illustrate "In the House of Suddhoo," by
Rudyard Kipling
"And Sent out a Jet of Fire from His Nostrils"
Drawing by Power O'Malley.
To illustrate "In the House of Suddhoo," by
Rudyard Kipling
Rudyard Kipling |
My Own True Ghost Story |
The Sending of Dana Da |
In the House of Suddhoo |
His Wedded Wife |
A. Conan Doyle |
A Case of Identity |
A Scandal in Bohemia |
The Red-Headed League |
Egerton Castle |
The Baron's Quarry |
Stanley J. Weyman |
The Fowl in the Pot |
Robert Louis Stevenson |
The Pavilion on the Links |
Wilkie Collins |
The Dream Woman |
The First Narrative |
The Second Narrative |
The Third Narrative |
Fourth (and Last) Narrative |
Anonymous |
The Lost Duchess |
The Minor Canon |
The Pipe |
The Puzzle |
The Great Valdez Sapphire |
Rudyard Kipling
My Own True Ghost Story
As I traveled through the desert.
The City of Dreadful Night.
Somewhere in the Other World, where there are books and pictures and plays and shop windows to look at, and thousands of men who spend their lives in building up all four, lives a gentleman who writes real stories about the real insides of people; and his name is Mr. Walter Besant. But he will insist upon treating his ghosts—he has published half a workshopful of them—with levity. He makes his ghost-seers talk familiarly, and, in some cases, flirt outrageously, with the phantoms. You may treat anything, from a Viceroy to a Vernacular Paper, with levity; but you must behave reverently toward a ghost, and particularly an Indian one.
Somewhere in the Other World, where there are books, pictures, plays, and shop windows to explore, and thousands of people dedicated to creating all these things, there's a gentleman named Mr. Walter Besant who writes genuine stories about the true nature of human beings. However, he insists on treating his ghosts—he’s released about half a workshop full of them—with a lighthearted attitude. He has his ghost-seers engage in casual conversations and, in some cases, flirt shamelessly with the spirits. You can treat anything, from a Viceroy to a local newspaper, with a casual attitude, but you should show respect for a ghost, especially an Indian one.
There are, in this land, ghosts who take the form of fat, cold, pobby corpses, and hide in trees near the roadside till a traveler passes. Then they drop upon his neck and remain. There are also terrible ghosts of women who have died in child-bed. These wander along the pathways at dusk, or hide in the crops near a village, and call seductively. But to answer their call is death in this world and the next. Their feet are turned backward that all sober men may recognize them. There are ghosts of little children who have been thrown into wells. These haunt well curbs and the fringes of jungles, and wail under the stars, or catch women by the wrist and beg to be taken up and carried. These and the corpse ghosts, however, are only vernacular articles and do not attack Sahibs. No native ghost has yet been authentically reported to have frightened an Englishman; but many English ghosts have scared the life out of both white and black.
There are, in this land, ghosts that take the shape of fat, cold, decaying bodies, hiding in trees near the roadside until a traveler passes by. Then they drop onto his neck and stay there. There are also terrifying ghosts of women who died in childbirth. These wander along the paths at dusk, or hide in the crops near a village, calling seductively. But answering their call means death in this world and the next. Their feet are turned backward so that all sensible people may recognize them. There are ghosts of small children who have been thrown into wells. They haunt well edges and the edges of jungles, wailing under the stars or grabbing women by the wrist, begging to be picked up and carried. However, these and the corpse ghosts are only local legends and don't attack foreigners. No native ghost has ever been reliably reported to have scared an Englishman; but many English ghosts have terrified both white and black people.
Nearly every other Station owns a ghost. There are said to be two at Simla, not counting the woman who blows the bellows at Syree dâk-bungalow on the Old Road; Mussoorie has a house haunted of a very lively Thing; a White Lady is supposed to do night-watchman round a house in Lahore; Dalhousie says that one of her houses "repeats" on autumn evenings all the incidents of a horrible horse-and-precipice accident; Murree has a merry ghost, and, now that she has been swept by cholera, will have room for a sorrowful one; there are Officers' Quarters in Mian Mir whose doors open without reason, and whose furniture is guaranteed to creak, not with the heat of June but with the weight of Invisibles who come to lounge in the chairs; Peshawur possesses houses that none will willingly rent; and there is something—not fever—wrong with a big bungalow in Allahabad. The older Provinces simply bristle with haunted houses, and march phantom armies along their main thoroughfares.
Almost every other Station has a ghost. They say there are two at Simla, not counting the woman who stokes the fire at the Syree dâk-bungalow on the Old Road; Mussoorie has a house haunted by a very lively spirit; a White Lady is rumored to patrol a house at night in Lahore; Dalhousie claims that one of its houses "repeats" all the incidents of a terrible horse-and-precipice accident on autumn evenings; Murree has a cheerful ghost, and now that she's been affected by cholera, she'll have room for a sad one; there are Officers' Quarters in Mian Mir where doors open for no reason and the furniture creaks, not because of the June heat but due to the weight of unseen beings lounging in the chairs; Peshawar has houses that no one wants to rent; and there's something—not fever—off about a large bungalow in Allahabad. The older Provinces are just filled with haunted houses, marching phantom armies along their main streets.
Some of the dâk-bungalows on the Grand Trunk Road have handy little cemeteries in their compound—witnesses to the "changes and chances of this mortal life" in the days when men drove from Calcutta to the Northwest. These bungalows are objectionable places to put up in. They are generally very old, always dirty, while the khansamah is as ancient as the bungalow. He either chatters senilely, or falls into the long trances of age. In both moods he is useless. If you get angry with him, he refers to some Sahib dead and buried these thirty years, and says that when he was in that Sahib's service not a khansamah in the Province could touch him. Then he jabbers and mows and trembles and fidgets among the dishes, and you repent of your irritation.
Some of the dâk bungalows on the Grand Trunk Road have convenient little cemeteries in their yards—testaments to the "changes and chances of this mortal life" from the times when people traveled from Calcutta to the Northwest. These bungalows are not pleasant places to stay. They are usually very old and always dirty, while the khansamah is just as ancient as the bungalow. He either chatters nonsensically or falls into long, vacant stares of old age. In either state, he is unhelpful. If you get frustrated with him, he brings up some Sahib who’s been dead and buried for thirty years and claims that when he served that Sahib, not a khansamah in the Province could compare to him. Then he goes on and on, fidgeting nervously among the dishes, making you regret your annoyance.
In these dâk-bungalows, ghosts are most likely to be found, and when found, they should be made a note of. Not long ago it was my business to live in dâk-bungalows. I never inhabited the same house for three nights running, and grew to be learned in the breed. I lived in Government-built ones with red brick walls and rail ceilings, an inventory of the furniture posted in every room, and an excited snake at the threshold to give welcome. I lived in "converted" ones—old houses officiating as dâk-bungalows—where nothing was in its proper place and there wasn't even a fowl for dinner. I lived in second-hand palaces where the wind blew through open-work marble tracery just as uncomfortably as through a broken pane. I lived in dâk-bungalows where the last entry in the visitors' book was fifteen months old, and where they slashed off the curry-kid's head with a sword. It was my good luck to meet all sorts of men, from sober traveling missionaries and deserters flying from British Regiments, to drunken loafers who threw whisky bottles at all who passed; and my still greater good fortune just to escape a maternity case. Seeing that a fair proportion of the tragedy of our lives out here acted itself in dâk-bungalows, I wondered that I had met no ghosts. A ghost that would voluntarily hang about a dâk-bungalow would be mad of course; but so many men have died mad in dâk-bungalows that there must be a fair percentage of lunatic ghosts.
In these dâk-bungalows, you’re most likely to encounter ghosts, and when you do, it’s important to take note of them. Not long ago, I made it a point to stay in dâk-bungalows. I never spent three nights in the same place and became quite familiar with the experience. I stayed in Government-built ones with red brick walls and high ceilings, where an inventory of the furniture was posted in every room, and an excited snake awaited at the door to greet visitors. I stayed in "converted" ones—old houses turned into dâk-bungalows—where nothing was arranged properly and there wasn’t even a chicken for dinner. I resided in second-hand palaces where the wind blew through the open-work marble designs as uncomfortably as through a broken window. I stayed in dâk-bungalows that hadn’t had a visitor sign the guest book in fifteen months, and where they once beheaded the curry-kid with a sword. I was fortunate enough to meet all kinds of people, from serious traveling missionaries and deserters fleeing British Regiments to drunken loafers who threw whiskey bottles at everyone passing by; and I was even luckier to avoid a maternity case. Given that a fair share of life’s dramas unfold in dâk-bungalows, I found it strange that I hadn’t encountered any ghosts. A ghost that willingly hangs around a dâk-bungalow would obviously have to be a bit unstable; but so many people have died mad in dâk-bungalows that there must be a good number of lunatic ghosts.
In due time I found my ghost, or ghosts rather, for there were two of them. Up till that hour I had sympathized with Mr. Besant's method of handling them, as shown in "The Strange Case of Mr. Lucraft and Other Stories." I am now in the Opposition.
In time, I discovered my ghost, or rather, ghosts, since there were two of them. Until that moment, I had agreed with Mr. Besant's approach to dealing with them, as described in "The Strange Case of Mr. Lucraft and Other Stories." Now, I find myself in opposition.
We will call the bungalow Katmal dâk-bungalow. But that was the smallest part of the horror. A man with a sensitive hide has no right to sleep in dâk-bungalows. He should marry. Katmal dâk-bungalow was old and rotten and unrepaired. The floor was of worn brick, the walls were filthy, and the windows were nearly black with grime. It stood on a bypath largely used by native Sub-Deputy Assistants of all kinds, from Finance to Forests; but real Sahibs were rare. The khansamah, who was nearly bent double with old age, said so.
We’ll call the bungalow Katmal dâk-bungalow. But that was just a small part of the horror. A person with sensitive skin has no business sleeping in dâk-bungalows. They should get married. Katmal dâk-bungalow was old, decaying, and in need of repairs. The floor was made of worn bricks, the walls were filthy, and the windows were almost black with dirt. It was located on a pathway frequently used by various native Sub-Deputy Assistants, from Finance to Forests; but real Sahibs were uncommon. The khansamah, who was nearly doubled over with old age, pointed that out.
When I arrived, there was a fitful, undecided rain on the face of the land, accompanied by a restless wind, and every gust made a noise like the rattling of dry bones in the stiff toddy palms outside. The khansamah completely lost his head on my arrival. He had served a Sahib once. Did I know that Sahib? He gave me the name of a well-known man who has been buried for more than a quarter of a century, and showed me an ancient daguerreotype of that man in his prehistoric youth. I had seen a steel engraving of him at the head of a double volume of Memoirs a month before, and I felt ancient beyond telling.
When I arrived, there was a sporadic, uncertain rain falling over the land, accompanied by a restless wind, and every gust sounded like the rattling of dry bones in the stiff toddy palms outside. The khansamah completely lost his composure when I got there. He had once served a Sahib. Did I know that Sahib? He mentioned the name of a well-known man who had been buried for more than twenty-five years and showed me an old daguerreotype of him in his youth. I had seen a steel engraving of him at the beginning of a two-volume set of Memoirs a month earlier, and I felt ancient beyond words.
The day shut in and the khansamah went to get me food. He did not go through the, pretense of calling it "khana"—man's victuals. He said "ratub," and that means, among other things, "grub"—dog's rations. There was no insult in his choice of the term. He had forgotten the other word, I suppose.
The day came to a close and the khansamah went to get me food. He didn’t bother pretending to call it "khana"—man’s meals. He said "ratub," which means, among other things, "grub"—dog’s food. There was no insult in his choice of the term. He probably just forgot the other word.
While he was cutting up the dead bodies of animals, I settled myself down, after exploring the dâk-bungalow. There were three rooms, beside my own, which was a corner kennel, each giving into the other through dingy white doors fastened with long iron bars. The bungalow was a very solid one, but the partition walls of the rooms were almost jerry-built in their flimsiness. Every step or bang of a trunk echoed from my room down the other three, and every footfall came back tremulously from the far walls. For this reason I shut the door. There were no lamps—only candles in long glass shades. An oil wick was set in the bathroom.
While he was cutting up the dead animal bodies, I made myself comfortable after checking out the dâk-bungalow. There were three rooms besides my own, which was a corner room, each connected to the others through shabby white doors secured with long iron bars. The bungalow was quite sturdy, but the walls between the rooms felt almost poorly constructed in their thinness. Every step or thump from my room echoed through the other three, and every footstep returned softly from the distant walls. Because of this, I closed the door. There were no lamps—just candles in long glass shades. An oil lamp was placed in the bathroom.
For bleak, unadulterated misery that dâk-bungalow was the worst of the many that I had ever set foot in. There was no fireplace, and the windows would not open; so a brazier of charcoal would have been useless. The rain and the wind splashed and gurgled and moaned round the house, and the toddy palms rattled and roared. Half a dozen jackals went through the compound singing, and a hyena stood afar off and mocked them. A hyena would convince a Sadducee of the Resurrection of the Dead—the worst sort of Dead. Then came the ratub—a curious meal, half native and half English in composition—with the old khansamah babbling behind my chair about dead and gone English people, and the wind-blown candles playing shadow-bo-peep with the bed and the mosquito-curtains. It was just the sort of dinner and evening to make a man think of every single one of his past sins, and of all the others that he intended to commit if he lived.
For pure, unfiltered misery, that dâk-bungalow was the worst of the many I had ever entered. There was no fireplace, and the windows wouldn't open, making a brazier of charcoal pointless. The rain and wind splashed and howled around the house, and the toddy palm trees rattled and roared. Half a dozen jackals wandered through the compound howling, while a hyena stood off in the distance, mocking them. A hyena could convince even a Sadducee of the Resurrection of the Dead—the worst kind of Dead. Then came the ratub—a strange meal, part native and part English—while the old khansamah chattered behind my chair about long-gone English folks, and the wind-blown candles played shadow hide-and-seek with the bed and the mosquito curtains. It was just the kind of dinner and evening that made a man reflect on every single one of his past sins, and all the others he planned to commit if he lived.
Sleep, for several hundred reasons, was not easy. The lamp in the bathroom threw the most absurd shadows into the room, and the wind was beginning to talk nonsense.
Sleep, for a bunch of reasons, was tough. The lamp in the bathroom cast the weirdest shadows into the room, and the wind was starting to mumble nonsense.
Just when the reasons were drowsy with blood-sucking I heard the regular—"Let-us-take-and-heave-him-over" grunt of doolie-bearers in the compound. First one doolie came in, then a second, and then a third. I heard the doolies dumped on the ground, and the shutter in front of my door shook. "That's some one trying to come in," I said. But no one spoke, and I persuaded myself that it was the gusty wind. The shutter of the room next to mine was attacked, flung back, and the inner door opened. "That's some Sub-Deputy Assistant," I said, "and he has brought his friends with him. Now they'll talk and spit and smoke for an hour."
Just when the reasons were fading away, I heard the usual grunt of the doolie bearers in the yard—“Let’s take him and toss him over.” First, one doolie came in, then another, and then a third. I heard the doolies hit the ground, and the shutter in front of my door rattled. “That’s someone trying to get in,” I said. But no one responded, and I convinced myself it was just the blustery wind. The shutter of the room next to mine was pushed open, and the inner door swung wide. “That’s some Sub-Deputy Assistant,” I said, “and he’s brought his buddies along. Now they’ll chat, spit, and smoke for an hour.”
But there were no voices and no footsteps. No one was putting his luggage into the next room. The door shut, and I thanked Providence that I was to be left in peace. But I was curious to know where the doolies had gone. I got out of bed and looked into the darkness. There was never a sign of a doolie. Just as I was getting into bed again, I heard, in the next room, the sound that no man in his senses can possibly mistake—the whir of a billiard ball down the length of the slates when the striker is stringing for break. No other sound is like it. A minute afterwards there was another whir, and I got into bed. I was not frightened—indeed I was not. I was very curious to know what had become of the doolies. I jumped into bed for that reason.
But there were no voices and no footsteps. No one was moving their luggage into the next room. The door shut, and I was grateful that I was left in peace. But I was curious about where the doolies had gone. I got out of bed and peered into the darkness. There was no sign of a doolie. Just as I was about to get back into bed, I heard, from the next room, the unmistakable sound—a billiard ball gliding down the table when the player is setting up for the break. No other sound is like it. A minute later, there was another whir, and I climbed into bed. I wasn't scared—really, I wasn't. I was very curious about what had happened to the doolies. I jumped into bed for that reason.
Next minute I heard the double click of a cannon and my hair sat up. It is a mistake to say that hair stands up. The skin of the head tightens and you can feel a faint, prickly, bristling all over the scalp. That is the hair sitting up.
Next minute I heard the double click of a cannon and my hair stood on end. It's a mistake to say that hair just stands up. The skin on your head tightens, and you can feel a faint, prickly sensation all over your scalp. That’s what it feels like when your hair is standing up.
There was a whir and a click, and both sounds could only have been made by one thing—a billiard ball. I argued the matter out at great length with myself; and the more I argued the less probable it seemed that one bed, one table, and two chairs—all the furniture of the room next to mine—could so exactly duplicate the sounds of a game of billiards. After another cannon, a three-cushion one to judge by the whir, I argued no more. I had found my ghost and would have given worlds to have escaped from that dâk-bungalow. I listened, and with each listen the game grew clearer. There was whir on whir and click on click. Sometimes there was a double click and a whir and another click. Beyond any sort of doubt, people were playing billiards in the next room. And the next room was not big enough to hold a billiard table!
There was a whir and a click, and both sounds could only have come from one thing—a billiard ball. I debated this with myself for a long time, and the more I thought about it, the less likely it seemed that one bed, one table, and two chairs—all the furniture of the room next to mine—could perfectly mimic the sounds of a billiards game. After another shot, a three-cushion one judging by the whir, I stopped arguing. I had found my ghost and would have given anything to escape from that dâk-bungalow. I listened, and with each listen, the game became clearer. There was whir after whir and click after click. Sometimes there was a double click, then a whir, and another click. Without a doubt, people were playing billiards in the next room. And the next room was too small to fit a billiard table!
Between the pauses of the wind I heard the game go forward—stroke after stroke. I tried to believe that I could not hear voices; but that attempt was a failure.
Between the breaks in the wind, I heard the game continue—stroke after stroke. I tried to convince myself that I couldn’t hear any voices, but that effort failed.
Do you know what fear is? Not ordinary fear of insult, injury or death, but abject, quivering dread of something that you cannot see—fear that dries the inside of the mouth and half of the throat—fear that makes you sweat on the palms of the hands, and gulp in order to keep the uvula at work? This is a fine Fear—a great cowardice, and must be felt to be appreciated. The very improbability of billiards in a dâk-bungalow proved the reality of the thing. No man—drunk or sober—could imagine a game at billiards, or invent the spitting crack of a "screw-cannon."
Do you know what fear is? Not the usual fear of insults, injury, or death, but intense, trembling dread of something invisible—fear that dries out your mouth and half your throat—fear that makes your palms sweat and forces you to gulp to keep your throat working? This is pure Fear—a profound cowardice that has to be experienced to be understood. The sheer unlikelihood of playing billiards in a dâk-bungalow proved the reality of it. No one—sober or drunk—could picture a game of billiards or create the spitting crack of a "screw-cannon."
A severe course of dâk-bungalows has this disadvantage—it breeds infinite credulity. If a man said to a confirmed dâk-bungalow-haunter:—"There is a corpse in the next room, and there's a mad girl in the next but one, and the woman and man on that camel have just eloped from a place sixty miles away," the hearer would not disbelieve because he would know that nothing is too wild, grotesque, or horrible to happen in a dâk-bungalow.
A long stay at dâk-bungalows has this downside—it creates endless gullibility. If someone told a regular dâk-bungalow visitor, "There's a dead body in the next room, and a crazy girl in the room after that, and the couple on that camel just ran away from a place sixty miles away," the listener wouldn’t doubt it because they would understand that anything bizarre, strange, or terrifying can happen in a dâk-bungalow.
This credulity, unfortunately, extends to ghosts. A rational person fresh from his own house would have turned on his side and slept. I did not. So surely as I was given up as a bad carcass by the scores of things in the bed because the bulk of my blood was in my heart, so surely did I hear every stroke of a long game at billiards played in the echoing room behind the iron-barred door. My dominant fear was that the players might want a marker. It was an absurd fear; because creatures who could play in the dark would be above such superfluities. I only know that that was my terror; and it was real.
This naive belief, unfortunately, includes ghosts. A rational person leaving their own home would have just turned over and gone to sleep. I didn’t. Just as I was written off as a lost cause by the countless things in the bed because most of my blood was in my heart, I heard every hit of a long billiards game being played in the echoing room behind the iron-barred door. My biggest fear was that the players might need a scorekeeper. It was a ridiculous fear because beings who could play in the dark would be beyond such trivial matters. All I know is that this was my fear, and it felt very real.
After a long, long while the game stopped, and the door banged. I slept because I was dead tired. Otherwise I should have preferred to have kept awake. Not for everything in Asia would I have dropped the door-bar and peered into the dark of the next room.
After a really long time, the game stopped, and the door slammed shut. I fell asleep because I was extremely tired. Otherwise, I would have chosen to stay awake. There’s nothing in Asia that would make me drop the door-bar and look into the darkness of the next room.
When the morning came, I considered that I had done well and wisely, and inquired for the means of departure.
When morning came, I thought I had acted well and wisely, and I asked about the way to leave.
"By the way, khansamah," I said, "what were those three doolies doing in my compound in the night?"
"By the way, khansamah," I said, "what were those three doolies doing in my yard at night?"
"There were no doolies," said the khansamah.
"There were no doolies," said the khansamah.
I went into the next room and the daylight streamed through the open door. I was immensely brave. I would, at that hour, have played Black Pool with the owner of the big Black Pool down below.
I walked into the next room, and sunlight poured through the open door. I felt incredibly brave. At that moment, I would have played Black Pool with the owner of the big Black Pool downstairs.
"Has this place always been a dâk-bungalow?" I asked.
"Has this place always been a guesthouse?" I asked.
"No," said the khansamah. "Ten or twenty years ago, I have forgotten how long, it was a billiard room."
"No," said the khansamah. "Ten or twenty years ago, I don’t remember exactly how long, it was a billiard room."
"A how much?"
"How much?"
"A billiard room for the Sahibs who built the Railway. I was khansamah then in the big house where all the Railway-Sahibs lived, and I used to come across with brandy-shrab. These three rooms were all one, and they held a big table on which the Sahibs played every evening. But the Sahibs are all dead now, and the Railway runs, you say, nearly to Kabul."
"A billiard room for the gentlemen who built the Railway. I was the servant then in the big house where all the Railway officials lived, and I used to bring over brandy. These three rooms were all connected, and they had a big table where the gentlemen played every evening. But the gentlemen are all gone now, and the Railway, you say, nearly reaches Kabul."
"Do you remember anything about the Sahibs?"
"Do you remember anything about the masters?"
"It is long ago, but I remember that one Sahib, a fat man and always angry, was playing here one night, and he said to me:—'Mangal Khan, brandy-pani do,' and I filled the glass, and he bent over the table to strike, and his head fell lower and lower till it hit the table, and his spectacles came off, and when we—the Sahibs and I myself—ran to lift him he was dead. I helped to carry him out. Aha, he was a strong Sahib! But he is dead and I, old Mangal Khan, am still living, by your favor."
"It was a long time ago, but I remember that one Sahib, a heavyset and always angry man, was playing here one night, and he said to me:—'Mangal Khan, give me some brandy-water,' and I filled the glass, and he leaned over the table to strike, and his head kept dropping lower and lower until it hit the table, and his glasses fell off. When we—the Sahibs and I—rushed to lift him, he was dead. I helped carry him out. Ah, he was a strong Sahib! But he is dead, and I, old Mangal Khan, am still alive, thanks to your favor."
That was more than enough! I had my ghost—a first-hand, authenticated article. I would write to the Society for Psychical Research—I would paralyze the Empire with the news! But I would, first of all, put eighty miles of assessed crop land between myself and that dâk-bungalow before nightfall. The Society might send their regular agent to investigate later on.
That was more than enough! I had my proof of a ghost—an authentic firsthand account. I would reach out to the Society for Psychical Research—I would shock the Empire with the news! But first, I needed to put eighty miles of surveyed farmland between myself and that dâk-bungalow before night fell. The Society could send their regular investigator to check it out later.
I went into my own room and prepared to pack after noting down the facts of the case. As I smoked I heard the game begin again,—with a miss in balk this time, for the whir was a short one.
I went into my room and got ready to pack after writing down the details of the case. While I smoked, I heard the game start again—with a miss this time, because the whir was brief.
The door was open and I could see into the room. Click—click! That was a cannon. I entered the room without fear, for there was sunlight within and a fresh breeze without. The unseen game was going on at a tremendous rate. And well it might, when a restless little rat was running to and fro inside the dingy ceiling-cloth, and a piece of loose window-sash was making fifty breaks off the window-bolt as it shook in the breeze!
The door was open, and I could see into the room. Click—click! That sounded like a cannon. I walked into the room without any fear since there was sunlight inside and a fresh breeze coming in. The unseen activity was happening at a crazy pace. And it made sense, considering a restless little rat was darting around in the shabby ceiling fabric, and a piece of loose window sash was making a ton of noise as it rattled against the window bolt in the wind!
Impossible to mistake the sound of billiard balls! Impossible to mistake the whir of a ball over the slate! But I was to be excused. Even when I shut my enlightened eyes the sound was marvelously like that of a fast game.
Impossible to mistake the sound of billiard balls! Impossible to mistake the whir of a ball over the slate! But I could be excused. Even when I closed my knowledgeable eyes, the sound was remarkably similar to that of a fast game.
Entered angrily the faithful partner of my sorrows, Kadir Baksh.
Entered angrily my loyal partner in grief, Kadir Baksh.
"This bungalow is very bad and low-caste! No wonder the Presence was disturbed and is speckled. Three sets of doolie-bearers came to the bungalow late last night when I was sleeping outside, and said that it was their custom to rest in the rooms set apart for the English people! What honor has the khansamah? They tried to enter, but I told them to go. No wonder, if these Oorias have been here, that the Presence is sorely spotted. It is shame, and the work of a dirty man!"
"This bungalow is really awful and beneath us! No surprise the Presence was disturbed and has blemishes. Three groups of bearers showed up at the bungalow late last night while I was sleeping outside, and claimed it was their custom to rest in the rooms reserved for the English. What respect does the khansamah have? They tried to come in, but I told them to leave. It’s no wonder if these Oorias have been around that the Presence is badly marked. It’s disgraceful, and the act of a dirty person!"
Kadir Baksh did not say that he had taken from each gang two annas for rent in advance, and then, beyond my earshot, had beaten them with the big green umbrella whose use I could never before divine. But Kadir Baksh has no notions of morality.
Kadir Baksh didn't mention that he had taken two annas for rent in advance from each gang and then, when I couldn't hear, had beaten them with the big green umbrella that I could never figure out the purpose of. But Kadir Baksh has no sense of morality.
There was an interview with the khansamah, but as he promptly lost his head, wrath gave place to pity, and pity led to a long conversation, in the course of which he put the fat Engineer-Sahib's tragic death in three separate stations—two of them fifty miles away. The third shift was to Calcutta, and there the Sahib died while driving a dog-cart.
There was an interview with the khansamah, but as he quickly became frantic, anger turned into compassion, and compassion led to a long conversation, in which he described the fat Engineer-Sahib's tragic death across three different locations—two of them fifty miles apart. The third location was Calcutta, where the Sahib died while driving a dog cart.
If I had encouraged him the khansamah would have wandered all through Bengal with his corpse.
If I had supported him, the khansamah would have roamed all through Bengal with his body.
I did not go away as soon as I intended. I stayed for the night, while the wind and the rat and the sash and the window-bolt played a ding-dong "hundred and fifty up." Then the wind ran out and the billiards stopped, and I felt that I had ruined my one genuine, hall-marked ghost story.
I didn't leave right when I planned. I stayed for the night, while the wind, the rat, the sash, and the window bolt played an endless game. Then the wind died down and the noise stopped, and I realized I had ruined my one true ghost story.
Had I only stopped at the proper time, I could have made anything out of it.
Had I just stopped at the right moment, I could have turned anything into something great.
That was the bitterest thought of all!
That was the most painful thought of all!
The Sending of Dana Da
—Indigenous Wisdom.
Once upon a time some people in India made a new heaven and a new earth out of broken teacups, a missing brooch or two, and a hair brush. These were hidden under bushes, or stuffed into holes in the hillside, and an entire civil service of subordinate gods used to find or mend them again; and everyone said: "There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamed of in our philosophy." Several other things happened also, but the religion never seemed to get much beyond its first manifestations; though it added an air-line postal dak, and orchestral effects in order to keep abreast of the times, and stall off competition.
Once upon a time, some people in India created a new heaven and a new earth from broken teacups, a couple of missing brooches, and a hairbrush. These items were hidden under bushes or stuffed into holes in the hillside, and a whole civil service of minor gods would find or fix them again; and everyone would say, "There are more things in heaven and earth than we can imagine." Several other things happened too, but the religion never really progressed much beyond its initial expressions; although it did add an air-mail postal service and orchestral effects to keep up with the times and fend off competition.
This religion was too elastic for ordinary use. It stretched itself and embraced pieces of everything that medicine men of all ages have manufactured. It approved and stole from Freemasonry; looted the Latter-day Rosicrucians of half their pet words; took any fragments of Egyptian philosophy that it found in the Encyclopædia Britannica; annexed as many of the Vedas as had been translated into French or English, and talked of all the rest; built in the German versions of what is left of the Zend Avesta; encouraged white, gray, and black magic, including Spiritualism, palmistry, fortune-telling by cards, hot chestnuts, double-kerneled nuts and tallow droppings; would have adopted Voodoo and Oboe had it known anything about them, and showed itself, in every way, one of the most accommodating arrangements that had ever been invented since the birth of the sea.
This religion was way too flexible for regular use. It stretched itself and took in bits of everything that healers throughout history have created. It borrowed and adapted from Freemasonry; snatched half of the favorite terms from the Latter-day Rosicrucians; picked up any bits of Egyptian philosophy it found in the Encyclopædia Britannica; claimed as many of the Vedas as had been translated into French or English, and talked about the rest; built on the German versions of what remains of the Zend Avesta; supported white, gray, and black magic, including Spiritualism, palm reading, card fortune-telling, hot chestnuts, double-kerneled nuts, and tallow droppings; would have embraced Voodoo and Oboe if it had known anything about them, and showed itself, in every way, as one of the most adaptable systems ever created since the dawn of time.
When it was in thorough working order, with all the machinery down to the subscriptions complete, Dana Da came from nowhere, with nothing in his hands, and wrote a chapter in its history which has hitherto been unpublished. He said that his first name was Dana, and his second was Da. Now, setting aside Dana of the New York Sun, Dana is a Bhil name, and Da fits no native of India unless you accept the Bengali Dé as the original spelling. Da is Lap or Finnish; and Dana Da was neither Finn, Chin, Bhil, Bengali, Lap, Nair, Gond, Romaney, Magh, Bokhariot, Kurd, Armenian, Levantine, Jew, Persian, Punjabi, Madrasi, Parsee, nor anything else known to ethnologists. He was simply Dana Da, and declined to give further information. For the sake of brevity, and as roughly indicating his origin, he was called "The Native." He might have been the original Old Man of the Mountains, who is said to be the only authorized head of the Teacup Creed. Some people said that he was; but Dana Da used to smile and deny any connection with the cult; explaining that he was an "independent experimenter."
When everything was up and running smoothly, with all the equipment in place and subscriptions filled, Dana Da appeared out of nowhere, empty-handed, and wrote an unpublished chapter in its history. He stated that his first name was Dana and his last name was Da. Now, aside from Dana from the New York Sun, Dana is a Bhil name, and Da doesn’t fit any native Indian name unless you consider the Bengali spelling Dé. Da is a Lap or Finnish name; and Dana Da wasn’t Finnish, Chinese, Bhil, Bengali, Lap, Nair, Gond, Romani, Magh, Bokhariot, Kurdish, Armenian, Levantine, Jewish, Persian, Punjabi, Madrasi, Parsee, or anything else that ethnologists recognize. He was simply Dana Da and refused to provide more details. To keep it simple and to give a rough sense of his origins, he was referred to as "The Native." He could have been the original Old Man of the Mountains, who is said to be the only official leader of the Teacup Creed. Some people claimed that he was; but Dana Da would smile and deny any ties to the cult, explaining that he was an "independent experimenter."
As I have said, he came from nowhere, with his hands behind his back, and studied the creed for three weeks; sitting at the feet of those best competent to explain its mysteries. Then he laughed aloud and went away, but the laugh might have been either of devotion or derision.
As I mentioned, he appeared from nowhere, with his hands behind his back, and spent three weeks studying the creed, sitting at the feet of those most qualified to explain its mysteries. Then he laughed out loud and left, but the laugh could have been either out of devotion or mockery.
When he returned he was without money, but his pride was unabated. He declared that he knew more about the things in heaven and earth than those who taught him, and for this contumacy was abandoned altogether.
When he came back, he had no money, but his pride was intact. He claimed that he understood more about the things in heaven and earth than those who taught him, and because of this defiance, he was completely rejected.
His next appearance in public life was at a big cantonment in Upper India, and he was then telling fortunes with the help of three leaden dice, a very dirty old cloth, and a little tin box of opium pills. He told better fortunes when he was allowed half a bottle of whisky; but the things which he invented on the opium were quite worth the money. He was in reduced circumstances. Among other people's he told the fortune of an Englishman who had once been interested in the Simla creed, but who, later on, had married and forgotten all his old knowledge in the study of babies and Exchange. The Englishman allowed Dana Da to tell a fortune for charity's sake, and, gave him five rupees, a dinner, and some old clothes. When he had eaten, Dana Da professed gratitude, and asked if there were anything he could do for his host—in the esoteric line.
His next public appearance was at a large military camp in Northern India, where he was telling fortunes using three heavy dice, a very dirty old cloth, and a small tin box of opium pills. He gave more accurate fortunes when he had half a bottle of whiskey; however, the stories he came up with under the influence of opium were definitely worth the money. He was going through tough times. Among others, he told the fortune of an Englishman who had once been interested in the Simla beliefs, but who later married and forgot all his old knowledge while focusing on babies and business. The Englishman let Dana Da tell a fortune for charity and gave him five rupees, a meal, and some old clothes. After he ate, Dana Da expressed his gratitude and asked if there was anything he could do for his host—in a mystical way.
"Is there anyone that you love?" said Dana Da. The Englishman loved his wife, but had no desire to drag her name into the conversation. He therefore shook his head.
"Is there anyone you love?" asked Dana Da. The Englishman loved his wife but didn't want to bring her name into the conversation. So, he shook his head.
"Is there anyone that you hate?" said Dana Da. The Englishman said that there were several men whom he hated deeply.
"Is there anyone you hate?" Dana Da asked. The Englishman replied that there were several men he hated deeply.
"Very good," said Dana Da, upon whom the whisky and the opium were beginning to tell. "Only give me their names, and I will dispatch a Sending to them and kill them."
"Sounds good," said Dana Da, feeling the effects of the whisky and opium. "Just give me their names, and I’ll send a message to them and take care of it."
Now a Sending is a horrible arrangement, first invented, they say, in Iceland. It is a thing sent by a wizard, and may take any form, but most generally wanders about the land in the shape of a little purple cloud till it finds the sendee, and him it kills by changing into the form of a horse, or a cat, or a man without a face. It is not strictly a native patent, though chamars can, if irritated, dispatch a Sending which sits on the breast of their enemy by night and nearly kills him. Very few natives care to irritate chamars for this reason.
Now a Sending is a terrifying creation, supposedly first invented in Iceland. It’s something sent by a wizard and can take on any shape, but usually it drifts through the land as a little purple cloud until it finds its target, and then it kills them by transforming into a horse, a cat, or a faceless man. It isn’t strictly a native invention, although chamars can, if provoked, send a Sending that sits on their enemy’s chest at night and nearly kills them. Very few locals want to provoke chamars for this reason.
"Let me dispatch a Sending," said Dana Da; "I am nearly dead now with want, and drink, and opium; but I should like to kill a man before I die. I can send a Sending anywhere you choose, and in any form except in the shape of a man."
"Let me send a message," said Dana Da; "I'm almost dying from hunger, thirst, and opium; but I would like to take someone's life before I go. I can send a message anywhere you want, and in any form except as a person."
The Englishman had no friends that he wished to kill, but partly to soothe Dana Da, whose eyes were rolling, and partly to see what would be done, he asked whether a modified Sending could not be arranged for—such a Sending as should make a man's life a burden to him, and yet do him no harm. If this were possible, he notified his willingness to give Dana Da ten rupees for the job.
The Englishman didn’t have any friends he wanted to kill, but partly to calm down Dana Da, whose eyes were spinning, and partly to see what would happen, he asked if a modified Sending could be arranged—one that would make a person's life a burden without actually harming him. If this could be done, he expressed his willingness to pay Dana Da ten rupees for the task.
"I am not what I was once," said Dana Da, "and I must take the money because I am poor. To what Englishman shall I send it?"
"I’m not who I used to be," said Dana Da, "and I have to take the money because I'm broke. Which Englishman should I send it to?"
"Send a Sending to Lone Sahib," said the Englishman, naming a man who had been most bitter in rebuking him for his apostasy from the Teacup Creed. Dana Da laughed and nodded.
"Send a message to Lone Sahib," said the Englishman, mentioning a man who had harshly criticized him for leaving the Teacup Creed. Dana Da laughed and nodded.
"I could have chosen no better man myself," said he. "I will see that he finds the Sending about his path and about his bed."
"I couldn't have picked a better man myself," he said. "I'll make sure he finds the Sending around his path and by his bed."
He lay down on the hearthrug, turned up the whites of his eyes, shivered all over, and began to snort. This was magic, or opium, or the Sending, or all three. When he opened his eyes he vowed that the Sending had started upon the warpath, and was at that moment flying up to the town where Lone Sahib lives.
He lay down on the hearth rug, rolled his eyes back, shivered all over, and started to snort. This was magic, or opium, or the Sending, or maybe all three. When he opened his eyes, he swore that the Sending had kicked off the warpath and was currently soaring up to the town where Lone Sahib lives.
"Give me my ten rupees," said Dana Da, wearily, "and write a letter to Lone Sahib, telling him, and all who believe with him, that you and a friend are using a power greater than theirs. They will see that you are speaking the truth."
"Give me my ten rupees," said Dana Da, tiredly, "and write a letter to Lone Sahib, telling him and everyone who believes him that you and a friend are using a power that's greater than theirs. They'll see that you’re telling the truth."
He departed unsteadily, with the promise of some more rupees if anything came of the Sending.
He left unsteadily, with the promise of some extra rupees if anything came from the Sending.
The Englishman sent a letter to Lone Sahib, couched in what he remembered of the terminology of the creed. He wrote: "I also, in the days of what you held to be my backsliding, have obtained enlightenment, and with enlightenment has come power." Then he grew so deeply mysterious that the recipient of the letter could make neither head nor tail of it, and was proportionately impressed; for he fancied that his friend had become a "fifth rounder." When a man is a "fifth rounder" he can do more than Slade and Houdin combined.
The Englishman sent a letter to Lone Sahib, using the terms he remembered from the creed. He wrote: "I too, during what you considered my backsliding, have found enlightenment, and with that enlightenment has come power." Then he became so enigmatic that the letter's recipient couldn't make any sense of it and was correspondingly impressed; he thought his friend had reached the level of a "fifth rounder." When someone is a "fifth rounder," they can do more than Slade and Houdin put together.
Lone Sahib read the letter in five different fashions, and was beginning a sixth interpretation, when his bearer dashed in with the news that there was a cat on the bed. Now, if there was one thing that Lone Sahib hated more than another it was a cat. He rated the bearer for not turning it out of the house. The bearer said that he was afraid. All the doors of the bedroom had been shut throughout the morning, and no real cat could possibly have entered the room. He would prefer not to meddle with the creature.
Lone Sahib read the letter in five different ways and was starting a sixth interpretation when his servant burst in with the news that there was a cat on the bed. If there was one thing Lone Sahib disliked more than anything, it was a cat. He scolded the servant for not getting rid of it. The servant replied that he was scared. All the bedroom doors had been closed all morning, and no real cat could have gotten into the room. He'd rather not deal with the creature.
Lone Sahib entered the room gingerly, and there, on the pillow of his bed, sprawled and whimpered a wee white kitten, not a jumpsome, frisky little beast, but a sluglike crawler with its eyes barely opened and its paws lacking strength or direction—a kitten that ought to have been in a basket with its mamma. Lone Sahib caught it by the scruff of its neck, handed it over to the sweeper to be drowned, and fined the bearer four annas.
Lone Sahib walked into the room carefully, and there, on his bed pillow, lay a tiny white kitten, not a lively, playful little creature, but a sluggish little thing with its eyes almost closed and its paws weak and unsteady—a kitten that should have been in a basket with its mom. Lone Sahib picked it up by the scruff of its neck, gave it to the sweeper to be drowned, and fined the bearer four annas.
That evening, as he was reading in his room, he fancied that he saw something moving about on the hearthrug, outside the circle of light from his reading lamp. When the thing began to myowl, he realized that it was a kitten—a wee white kitten, nearly blind and very miserable. He was seriously angry, and spoke bitterly to his bearer, who said that there was no kitten in the room when he brought in the lamp, and real kittens of tender age generally had mother cats in attendance.
That evening, while he was reading in his room, he thought he saw something moving on the carpet, just outside the light from his reading lamp. When it started to meow, he realized it was a tiny white kitten, nearly blind and very unhappy. He was really angry and spoke harshly to his servant, who said there was no kitten in the room when he brought in the lamp, and that real kittens of such a young age usually had mother cats nearby.
"If the Presence will go out into the veranda and listen," said the bearer, "he will hear no cats. How, therefore, can the kitten on the bed and the kitten on the hearthrug be real kittens?"
"If the Presence goes out onto the veranda and listens," said the bearer, "he won't hear any cats. So, how can the kitten on the bed and the kitten on the hearthrug be real kittens?"
Lone Sahib went out to listen, and the bearer followed him, but there was no sound of Rachel mewing for her children. He returned to his room, having hurled the kitten down the hillside, and wrote out the incidents of the day for the benefit of his coreligionists. Those people were so absolutely free from superstition that they ascribed anything a little out of the common to agencies. As it was their business to know all about the agencies, they were on terms of almost indecent familiarity with manifestations of every kind. Their letters dropped from the ceiling—unstamped—and spirits used to squatter up and down their staircases all night. But they had never come into contact with kittens. Lone Sahib wrote out the facts, noting the hour and the minute, as every psychical observer is bound to do, and appending the Englishman's letter because it was the most mysterious document and might have had a bearing upon anything in this world or the next. An outsider would have translated all the tangle thus: "Look out! You laughed at me once, and now I am going to make you sit up."
Lone Sahib went out to listen, and the bearer followed him, but there was no sound of Rachel calling for her children. He returned to his room after throwing the kitten down the hillside and wrote about the day's events for the benefit of his fellow believers. Those people were so completely free from superstition that they attributed anything slightly unusual to unseen forces. Since it was their job to understand all the forces at play, they had an almost disrespectful familiarity with all kinds of phenomena. Their letters would drop from the ceiling—without stamps—and spirits would wander up and down their staircases all night. But they had never encountered kittens. Lone Sahib documented the details, noting the time down to the minute, as any psychical observer is required to do, and included the Englishman's letter because it was the most mysterious document and could have implications for anything in this world or the next. An outsider would have summed up the whole situation like this: "Watch out! You laughed at me once, and now I’m going to make you take notice."
Lone Sahib's coreligionists found that meaning in it; but their translation was refined and full of four-syllable words. They held a sederunt, and were filled with tremulous joy, for, in spite of their familiarity with all the other worlds and cycles, they had a very human awe of things sent from ghostland. They met in Lone Sahib's room in shrouded and sepulchral gloom, and their conclave was broken up by a clinking among the photo frames on the mantelpiece. A wee white kitten, nearly blind, was looping and writhing itself between the clock and the candlesticks. That stopped all investigations or doubtings. Here was the manifestation in the flesh. It was, so far as could be seen, devoid of purpose, but it was a manifestation of undoubted authenticity.
Lone Sahib's fellow believers found meaning in it; however, their translation was polished and filled with complex vocabulary. They held a meeting and were overcome with a shaky joy, because, despite their knowledge of all the other worlds and cycles, they felt a very human awe for things sent from the spirit world. They gathered in Lone Sahib's room, engulfed in a dark, somber atmosphere, and their assembly was interrupted by the clinking of photo frames on the mantelpiece. A tiny white kitten, almost blind, was playfully tumbling between the clock and the candlesticks. That halted all inquiries or doubts. It was a physical manifestation. As far as they could tell, it lacked any apparent purpose, but it was undoubtedly a genuine manifestation.
They drafted a round robin to the Englishman, the backslider of old days, adjuring him in the interests of the creed to explain whether there was any connection between the embodiment of some Egyptian god or other (I have forgotten the name) and his communication. They called the kitten Ra, or Toth, or Shem, or Noah, or something; and when Lone Sahib confessed that the first one had, at his most misguided instance, been drowned by the sweeper, they said consolingly that in his next life he would be a "bounder," and not even a "rounder" of the lowest grade. These words may not be quite correct, but they express the sense of the house accurately.
They wrote a round robin to the Englishman, who had fallen away from the old ways, urging him, for the sake of their beliefs, to clarify if there was any link between the representation of some Egyptian god (I can't remember the name) and his message. They named the kitten Ra, or Toth, or Shem, or Noah, or something like that; and when Lone Sahib admitted that the first one had, at his most foolish suggestion, been drowned by the sweeper, they reassuringly said that in his next life he would be a "bounder," and not even a "rounder" of the lowest sort. These words might not be entirely accurate, but they capture the feeling of the house perfectly.
When the Englishman received the round robin—it came by post—he was startled and bewildered. He sent into the bazaar for Dana Da, who read the letter and laughed. "That is my Sending," said he. "I told you I would work well. Now give me another ten rupees."
When the Englishman got the round robin—it arrived in the mail—he was shocked and confused. He called for Dana Da from the bazaar, who read the letter and chuckled. "That's my Sending," he said. "I told you I would do a great job. Now give me another ten rupees."
"But what in the world is this gibberish about Egyptian gods?" asked the Englishman.
"But what on earth is this nonsense about Egyptian gods?" asked the Englishman.
"Cats," said Dana Da, with a hiccough, for he had discovered the Englishman's whisky bottle. "Cats and cats and cats! Never was such a Sending. A hundred of cats. Now give me ten more rupees and write as I dictate."
"Cats," said Dana Da, with a hiccup, because he had found the Englishman's whisky bottle. "Cats and cats and cats! There’s never been anything like it. A hundred cats. Now give me ten more rupees and write as I say."
Dana Da's letter was a curiosity. It bore the Englishman's signature, and hinted at cats—at a Sending of cats. The mere words on paper were creepy and uncanny to behold.
Dana Da's letter was intriguing. It had the Englishman's signature and suggested something about cats—specifically, a Sending of cats. Just seeing those words on paper felt unsettling and strange.
"What have you done, though?" said the Englishman; "I am as much in the dark as ever. Do you mean to say that you can actually send this absurd Sending you talk about?"
"What have you done, though?" the Englishman asked. "I'm just as confused as ever. Are you saying that you can really send this ridiculous Sending you keep talking about?"
"Judge for yourself," said Dana Da. "What does that letter mean? In a little time they will all be at my feet and yours, and I, oh, glory! will be drugged or drunk all day long."
"Decide for yourself," said Dana Da. "What does that letter mean? Soon they'll all be at our feet, and I, oh, glory! will be high or drunk all day long."
Dana Da knew his people.
Dana Da understood his people.
When a man who hates cats wakes up in the morning and finds a little squirming kitten on his breast, or puts his hand into his ulster pocket and finds a little half-dead kitten where his gloves should be, or opens his trunk and finds a vile kitten among his dress shirts, or goes for a long ride with his mackintosh strapped on his saddle-bow and shakes a little sprawling kitten from its folds when he opens it, or goes out to dinner and finds a little blind kitten under his chair, or stays at home and finds a writhing kitten under the quilt, or wriggling among his boots, or hanging, head downward, in his tobacco jar, or being mangled by his terrier in the veranda—when such a man finds one kitten, neither more nor less, once a day in a place where no kitten rightly could or should be, he is naturally upset. When he dare not murder his daily trove because he believes it to be a manifestation, an emissary, an embodiment, and half a dozen other things all out of the regular course of nature, he is more than upset. He is actually distressed. Some of Lone Sahib's coreligionists thought that he was a highly favored individual; but many said that if he had treated the first kitten with proper respect—as suited a Toth-Ra Tum-Sennacherib Embodiment—all his trouble would have been averted. They compared him to the Ancient Mariner, but none the less they were proud of him and proud of the Englishman who had sent the manifestation. They did not call it a Sending because Icelandic magic was not in their programme.
When a man who hates cats wakes up in the morning and finds a little squirming kitten on his chest, or reaches into his coat pocket and discovers a little half-dead kitten where his gloves should be, or opens his suitcase and finds a nasty kitten among his dress shirts, or goes for a long ride with his raincoat strapped on his saddle and shakes a little sprawling kitten out when he opens it, or goes out to dinner and finds a little blind kitten under his chair, or stays home and finds a writhing kitten under the blankets, or wriggling among his shoes, or hanging upside down in his tobacco jar, or being attacked by his terrier on the porch—when such a man finds one kitten, neither more nor less, each day in a place where no kitten rightfully could or should be, he is understandably upset. When he doesn't dare to kill his daily discovery because he believes it to be a sign, an envoy, an embodiment, and several other things all out of the ordinary course of nature, he is more than upset. He is truly distressed. Some of Lone Sahib's followers thought he was a highly favored person; but many said that if he had treated the first kitten with the proper respect—as befitting a Toth-Ra Tum-Sennacherib Embodiment—all his troubles would have been avoided. They compared him to the Ancient Mariner, yet they were still proud of him and proud of the Englishman who had sent the sign. They did not call it a Sending because Icelandic magic was not part of their beliefs.
After sixteen kittens—that is to say, after one fortnight, for there were three kittens on the first day to impress the fact of the Sending, the whole camp was uplifted by a letter—it came flying through a window—from the Old Man of the Mountains—the head of all the creed—explaining the manifestation in the most beautiful language and soaking up all the credit of it for himself. The Englishman, said the letter, was not there at all. He was a backslider without power or asceticism, who couldn't even raise a table by force of volition, much less project an army of kittens through space. The entire arrangement, said the letter, was strictly orthodox, worked and sanctioned by the highest authorities within the pale of the creed. There was great joy at this, for some of the weaker brethren seeing that an outsider who had been working on independent lines could create kittens, whereas their own rulers had never gone beyond crockery—and broken at that—were showing a desire to break line on their own trail. In fact, there was the promise of a schism. A second round robin was drafted to the Englishman, beginning: "Oh, Scoffer," and ending with a selection of curses from the rites of Mizraim and Memphis and the Commination of Jugana; who was a "fifth rounder," upon whose name an upstart "third rounder" once traded. A papal excommunication is a billet-doux compared to the Commination of Jugana. The Englishman had been proved under the hand and seal of the Old Man of the Mountains to have appropriated virtue and pretended to have power which, in reality, belonged only to the supreme head. Naturally the round robin did not spare him.
After sixteen kittens—that is to say, after two weeks, since there were three kittens on the first day to emphasize the Sending, the entire camp was boosted by a letter—it came flying through a window—from the Old Man of the Mountains—the leader of all the beliefs—explaining the event in the most beautiful language and taking all the credit for himself. The letter stated that the Englishman wasn’t there at all. He was a backslider without power or discipline, who couldn’t even raise a table by sheer will, much less project an army of kittens through space. The entire situation, the letter said, was strictly orthodox, operated and approved by the highest authorities within the belief system. There was great joy at this, as some of the weaker members saw that an outsider who had been working independently could create kittens, while their own leaders had never gone beyond broken crockery—and that at that—showing a desire to carve their own path. In fact, there was a promise of a split. A second round robin was drafted to the Englishman, starting: "Oh, Scoffer," and ending with a collection of curses from the rituals of Mizraim and Memphis and the Commination of Jugana; who was a "fifth rounder," upon whose name an upstart "third rounder" once traded. A papal excommunication is a billet-doux compared to the Commination of Jugana. The Englishman had been proven under the hand and seal of the Old Man of the Mountains to have claimed virtue and pretended to have power which, in reality, belonged only to the supreme leader. Naturally, the round robin did not hold back on him.
He handed the letter to Dana Da to translate into decent English. The effect on Dana Da was curious. At first he was furiously angry, and then he laughed for five minutes.
He gave the letter to Dana Da to translate into proper English. The effect on Dana Da was interesting. Initially, he was incredibly angry, and then he laughed for five minutes.
"I had thought," he said, "that they would have come to me. In another week I would have shown that I sent the Sending, and they would have discrowned the Old Man of the Mountains who has sent this Sending of mine. Do you do nothing. The time has come for me to act. Write as I dictate, and I will put them to shame. But give me ten more rupees."
"I thought," he said, "that they would have approached me. In another week, I would have proven that I sent the message, and they would have deposed the Old Man of the Mountains who sent my message. You’re not doing anything. The time has come for me to take action. Write as I say, and I will make them ashamed. But give me ten more rupees."
At Dana Da's dictation the Englishman wrote nothing less than a formal challenge to the Old Man of the Mountains. It wound up: "And if this manifestation be from your hand, then let it go forward; but if it be from my hand, I will that the Sending shall cease in two days' time. On that day there shall be twelve kittens and thenceforward none at all. The people shall judge between us." This was signed by Dana Da, who added pentacles and pentagrams, and a crux ansata, and half a dozen swastikas, and a Triple Tau to his name, just to show that he was all he laid claim to be.
At Dana Da's direction, the Englishman wrote a formal challenge to the Old Man of the Mountains. It concluded with: "And if this comes from you, then let it proceed; but if it comes from me, I declare that the Sending will stop in two days. On that day, there will be twelve kittens and no more after that. The people will decide between us." This was signed by Dana Da, who added pentacles and pentagrams, a crux ansata, half a dozen swastikas, and a Triple Tau to his name, to prove that he was everything he claimed to be.
The challenge was read out to the gentlemen and ladies, and they remembered then that Dana Da had laughed at them some years ago. It was officially announced that the Old Man of the Mountains would treat the matter with contempt; Dana Da being an independent investigator without a single "round" at the back of him. But this did not soothe his people. They wanted to see a fight. They were very human for all their spirituality. Lone Sahib, who was really being worn out with kittens, submitted meekly to his fate. He felt that he was being "kittened to prove the power of Dana Da," as the poet says.
The challenge was announced to the men and women, and they remembered that Dana Da had laughed at them years ago. It was officially stated that the Old Man of the Mountains would ignore the situation; Dana Da was an independent investigator without any backing. But this didn’t calm his people. They wanted to see a fight. They were very human despite their spirituality. Lone Sahib, who was genuinely exhausted from dealing with kittens, accepted his fate quietly. He felt that he was being "kittened to prove the power of Dana Da," as the poet puts it.
When the stated day dawned, the shower of kittens began. Some were white and some were tabby, and all were about the same loathsome age. Three were on his hearthrug, three in his bathroom, and the other six turned up at intervals among the visitors who came to see the prophecy break down. Never was a more satisfactory Sending. On the next day there were no kittens, and the next day and all the other days were kittenless and quiet. The people murmured and looked to the Old Man of the Mountains for an explanation. A letter, written on a palm leaf, dropped from the ceiling, but everyone except Lone Sahib felt that letters were not what the occasion demanded. There should have been cats, there should have been cats—full-grown ones. The letter proved conclusively that there had been a hitch in the psychic current which, colliding with a dual identity, had interfered with the percipient activity all along the main line. The kittens were still going on, but owing to some failure in the developing fluid, they were not materialized. The air was thick with letters for a few days afterwards. Unseen hands played Glück and Beethoven on finger-bowls and clock shades; but all men felt that psychic life was a mockery without materialized kittens. Even Lone Sahib shouted with the majority on this head. Dana Da's letters were very insulting, and if he had then offered to lead a new departure, there is no knowing what might not have happened.
When the day finally arrived, the shower of kittens began. Some were white, some were tabby, and all were at that same annoying age. Three were on his hearthrug, three were in his bathroom, and the other six appeared sporadically among the visitors who came to see the prophecy fail. It was the most satisfying Sending ever. The next day there were no kittens, and the days following were also kitten-free and peaceful. People murmured and looked to the Old Man of the Mountains for an explanation. A letter, written on a palm leaf, fell from the ceiling, but everyone except Lone Sahib felt that letters weren’t what the situation called for. There should have been cats—full-grown ones. The letter confirmed that there had been a glitch in the psychic current, which, due to a dual identity, had interfered with the expected activity along the main line. The kittens were still coming, but because of some failure in the developing fluid, they weren’t being materialized. For a few days afterward, the air was filled with letters. Unseen hands played Glück and Beethoven on finger bowls and clock shades, but everyone felt that psychic life was a joke without actual kittens. Even Lone Sahib joined the majority in this opinion. Dana Da’s letters were quite insulting, and if he had offered to lead a new direction, who knows what could have happened.
But Dana Da was dying of whisky and opium in the Englishman's go-down, and had small heart for new creeds.
But Dana Da was succumbing to whisky and opium in the Englishman's warehouse, and had little enthusiasm for new beliefs.
"They have been put to shame," said he. "Never was such a Sending. It has killed me."
"They've totally embarrassed me," he said. "I've never experienced a Sending like this. It's literally done me in."
"Nonsense," said the Englishman, "you are going to die, Dana Da, and that sort of stuff must be left behind. I'll admit that you have made some queer things come about. Tell me honestly, now, how was it done?"
"Nonsense," said the Englishman, "you’re going to die, Dana Da, and that stuff has to be left behind. I’ll admit that you’ve made some strange things happen. Tell me honestly, how did you do it?"
"Give me ten more rupees," said Dana Da, faintly, "and if I die before I spend them, bury them with me." The silver was counted out while Dana Da was fighting with death. His hand closed upon the money and he smiled a grim smile.
"Give me ten more rupees," Dana Da said weakly, "and if I die before I use them, bury them with me." The silver was counted out as Dana Da struggled with death. His hand closed around the money, and he managed a grim smile.
"Bend low," he whispered. The Englishman bent.
"Bend down," he whispered. The Englishman bent down.
"Bunnia—mission school—expelled—box-wallah (peddler)—Ceylon pearl merchant—all mine English education—outcasted, and made up name Dana Da—England with American thought-reading man and—and—you gave me ten rupees several times—I gave the Sahib's bearer two-eight a month for cats—little, little cats. I wrote, and he put them about—very clever man. Very few kittens now in the bazaar. Ask Lone Sahib's sweeper's wife."
"Bunnia—mission school—kicked out—box-wallah (peddler)—Ceylon pearl merchant—all mine English education—outcast, and made up the name Dana Da—England with an American mind reader and—and—you gave me ten rupees several times—I gave the Sahib's servant two-eight a month for cats—little, tiny cats. I wrote, and he spread them around—very clever man. Very few kittens left in the bazaar. Ask Lone Sahib's sweeper's wife."
So saying, Dana Da gasped and passed away into a land where, if all be true, there are no materializations and the making of new creeds is discouraged.
So saying, Dana Da gasped and passed away into a place where, if everything is true, there are no physical forms and the creation of new beliefs is discouraged.
But consider the gorgeous simplicity of it all!
But think about how beautiful and simple it all is!
In the House of Suddhoo
And the whole world is wild and weird; Churel, ghoul, Djinn, and sprite Will join us tonight,
For we have arrived at the Oldest Land
Where the Powers of Darkness roam.
The house of Suddhoo, near the Taksali Gate, is two storied, with four carved windows of old brown wood, and a flat roof. You may recognize it by five red handprints arranged like the Five of Diamonds on the whitewash between the upper windows. Bhagwan Dass, the bunnia, and a man who says he gets his living by seal-cutting live in the lower story with a troop of wives, servants, friends, and retainers. The two upper rooms used to be occupied by Janoo and Azizun and a little black-and-tan terrier that was stolen from an Englishman's house and given to Janoo by a soldier. To-day, only Janoo lives in the upper rooms. Suddhoo sleeps on the roof generally, except when he sleeps in the street. He used to go to Peshawar in the cold weather to visit his son, who sells curiosities near the Edwardes' Gate, and then he slept under a real mud roof. Suddhoo is a great friend of mine, because his cousin had a son who secured, thanks to my recommendation, the post of head messenger to a big firm in the Station. Suddhoo says that God will make me a Lieutenant-Governor one of these days. I daresay his prophecy will come true. He is very, very old, with white hair and no teeth worth showing, and he has outlived his wits—outlived nearly everything except his fondness for his son at Peshawar. Janoo and Azizun are Kashmiris, Ladies of the City, and theirs was an ancient and more or less honorable profession; but Azizun has since married a medical student from the Northwest and has settled down to a most respectable life somewhere near Bareilly. Bhagwan Dass is an extortionate and an adulterator. He is very rich. The man who is supposed to get his living by seal cutting pretends to be very poor. This lets you know as much as is necessary of the four principal tenants in the house of Suddhoo. Then there is Me, of course; but I am only the chorus that comes in at the end to explain things. So I do not count.
The house of Suddhoo, near the Taksali Gate, is two stories high, with four carved windows made of old brown wood, and a flat roof. You can recognize it by five red handprints arranged like the Five of Diamonds on the whitewash between the upper windows. Bhagwan Dass, the bunnia, and a man who claims to make a living through seal-cutting live on the lower floor with a group of wives, servants, friends, and retainers. The two upper rooms used to be occupied by Janoo and Azizun and a little black-and-tan terrier that was stolen from an Englishman's home and given to Janoo by a soldier. Today, only Janoo lives in the upper rooms. Suddhoo usually sleeps on the roof, except when he sleeps in the street. He used to go to Peshawar in the cold weather to visit his son, who sells curiosities near Edwardes' Gate, where he would sleep under a proper mud roof. Suddhoo is a great friend of mine because his cousin had a son who, thanks to my recommendation, got the job of head messenger for a big firm in the Station. Suddhoo says that God will make me a Lieutenant-Governor one day. I bet his prediction will come true. He is very, very old, with white hair and no teeth worth showing, and he has outlived his senses—outlived nearly everything except his love for his son in Peshawar. Janoo and Azizun are Kashmiris, known as Ladies of the City, and theirs was an ancient and somewhat respectable profession; however, Azizun has since married a medical student from the Northwest and settled into a very respectable life near Bareilly. Bhagwan Dass is greedy and an adulterator. He is very wealthy. The man who claims to earn his living by seal-cutting pretends to be very poor. This gives you all the necessary information about the four main tenants in the house of Suddhoo. Then there’s me, of course; but I’m just the chorus that comes in at the end to explain things. So I don't really count.
Suddhoo was not clever. The man who pretended to cut seals was the cleverest of them all—Bhagwan Dass only knew how to lie—except Janoo. She was also beautiful, but that was her own affair.
Suddhoo wasn't smart. The guy who pretended to cut seals was the smartest of them all—Bhagwan Dass only knew how to lie—except for Janoo. She was beautiful too, but that was her own business.
Suddhoo's son at Peshawar was attacked by pleurisy, and old Suddhoo was troubled. The seal-cutter man heard of Suddhoo's anxiety and made capital out of it. He was abreast of the times. He got a friend in Peshawar to telegraph daily accounts of the son's health. And here the story begins.
Suddhoo's son in Peshawar was hit with pleurisy, and old Suddhoo was concerned. The seal-cutter guy learned about Suddhoo's worry and took advantage of it. He was up to date with the times. He had a friend in Peshawar send daily updates on the son's health. And this is where the story starts.
Suddhoo's cousin's son told me, one evening, that Suddhoo wanted to see me; that he was too old and feeble to come personally, and that I should be conferring an everlasting honor on the House of Suddhoo if I went to him. I went; but I think, seeing how well off Suddhoo was then, that he might have sent something better than an ekka, which jolted fearfully, to haul out a future Lieutenant-Governor to the City on a muggy April evening. The ekka did not run quickly. It was full dark when we pulled up opposite the door of Ranjit Singh's Tomb near the main gate of the Fort. Here was Suddhoo and he said that by reason of my condescension, it was absolutely certain that I should become a Lieutenant-Governor while my hair was yet black. Then we talked about the weather and the state of my health, and the wheat crops, for fifteen minutes, in the Huzuri Bagh, under the stars.
Suddhoo's cousin's son told me one evening that Suddhoo wanted to see me. He was too old and weak to come himself, and I would be doing the House of Suddhoo a great honor by visiting him. I went, but honestly, considering how well off Suddhoo was at the time, I thought he could have sent a better ride than an ekka, which bounced around a lot, to bring a future Lieutenant-Governor to the city on a hot April evening. The ekka didn't go fast. It was completely dark when we stopped in front of Ranjit Singh's Tomb by the main gate of the Fort. There was Suddhoo, who said that because I was gracious enough to come, it was certain I would become a Lieutenant-Governor while my hair was still black. Then we talked about the weather, my health, and the wheat crops for about fifteen minutes in the Huzuri Bagh, under the stars.
Suddhoo came to the point at last. He said that Janoo had told him that there was an order of the Sirkar against magic, because it was feared that magic might one day kill the Empress of India. I didn't know anything about the state of the law; but I fancied that something interesting was going to happen. I said that so far from magic being discouraged by the Government it was highly commended. The greatest officials of the State practiced it themselves. (If the Financial Statement isn't magic, I don't know what is.) Then, to encourage him further, I said that, if there was any jadoo afoot, I had not the least objection to giving it my countenance and sanction, and to seeing that it was clean jadoo—white magic, as distinguished from the unclean jadoo which kills folk. It took a long time before Suddhoo admitted that this was just what he had asked me to come for. Then he told me, in jerks and quavers, that the man who said he cut seals was a sorcerer of the cleanest kind; that every day he gave Suddhoo news of his sick son in Peshawar more quickly than the lightning could fly, and that this news was always corroborated by the letters. Further, that he had told Suddhoo how a great danger was threatening his son, which could be removed by clean jadoo; and, of course, heavy payment. I began to see exactly how the land lay, and told Suddhoo that I also understood a little jadoo in the Western line, and would go to his house to see that everything was done decently and in order. We set off together; and on the way Suddhoo told me that he had paid the seal cutter between one hundred and two hundred rupees already; and the jadoo of that night would cost two hundred more. Which was cheap, he said, considering the greatness of his son's danger; but I do not think he meant it.
Suddhoo finally got to the point. He said Janoo had told him that the government had banned magic because they feared it could one day kill the Empress of India. I wasn't familiar with the law, but I had a feeling something interesting was about to unfold. I mentioned that rather than being discouraged by the government, magic was actually encouraged. The highest officials practiced it themselves. (If the Financial Statement isn't magic, I don't know what is.) To motivate him further, I said that if there was any magic happening, I had no problem supporting it and ensuring it was clean magic—white magic, as opposed to dirty magic that hurts people. It took a while, but Suddhoo eventually admitted that this was exactly why he had come to me. He then told me, in fits and starts, that the guy who claimed he could cut seals was a very clean sorcerer; that every day, he provided Suddhoo news about his sick son in Peshawar faster than lightning, and this information was always confirmed by the letters. He also mentioned that the sorcerer had warned him of a serious danger threatening his son, which could be fixed with clean magic; of course, this would require a hefty payment. I started to understand the situation clearly and told Suddhoo that I also knew a bit of magic in the Western style and would visit his house to make sure everything was done properly. We headed off together, and on the way, Suddhoo told me he had already paid the seal cutter between one hundred and two hundred rupees, and the magic that night would cost another two hundred. He claimed this was a bargain, considering how serious his son's situation was; but I don't think he really believed that.
The lights were all cloaked in the front of the house when we arrived. I could hear awful noises from behind the seal cutter's shop front, as if some one were groaning his soul out. Suddhoo shook all over, and while we groped our way upstairs told me that the jadoo had begun. Janoo and Azizun met us at the stair head, and told us that the jadoo work was coming off in their rooms, because there was more space there. Janoo is a lady of a freethinking turn of mind. She whispered that the jadoo was an invention to get money out of Suddhoo, and that the seal cutter would go to a hot place when he died. Suddhoo was nearly crying with fear and old age. He kept walking up and down the room in the half light, repeating his son's name over and over again, and asking Azizun if the seal cutter ought not to make a reduction in the case of his own landlord. Janoo pulled me over to the shadow in the recess of the carved bow-windows. The boards were up, and the rooms were only lit by one tiny oil lamp. There was no chance of my being seen if I stayed still.
The lights were all turned off at the front of the house when we got there. I could hear terrible sounds coming from behind the seal cutter's shop, like someone was groaning in pain. Suddhoo was shaking all over, and as we made our way upstairs, he told me that the jadoo had started. Janoo and Azizun met us at the top of the stairs and said that the jadoo activity was happening in their rooms because there was more room there. Janoo is a free thinker. She whispered that the jadoo was a scam to get money from Suddhoo, and that the seal cutter would end up in a bad place when he died. Suddhoo was nearly in tears from fear and old age. He kept pacing the dimly lit room, repeating his son’s name over and over, and asking Azizun if the seal cutter should give a discount considering he was his landlord. Janoo pulled me into the shadows in the recess of the ornate bow windows. The boards were up, and the rooms were lit by just one tiny oil lamp. There was no chance of being seen if I stayed quiet.
Presently, the groans below ceased, and we heard steps on the staircase. That was the seal cutter. He stopped outside the door as the terrier barked and Azizun fumbled at the chain, and he told Suddhoo to blow out the lamp. This left the place in jet darkness, except for the red glow from the two huqas that belonged to Janoo and Azizun. The seal cutter came in, and I heard Suddhoo throw himself down on the floor and groan. Azizun caught her breath, and Janoo backed on to one of the beds with a shudder. There was a clink of something metallic, and then shot up a pale blue-green flame near the ground. The light was just enough to show Azizun, pressed against one corner of the room with the terrier between her knees; Janoo, with her hands clasped, leaning forward as she sat on the bed; Suddhoo, face down, quivering, and the seal cutter.
Right now, the groans below stopped, and we heard footsteps on the stairs. That was the seal cutter. He paused outside the door as the terrier barked and Azizun fumbled with the chain, telling Suddhoo to blow out the lamp. This plunged the room into complete darkness, except for the red glow from the two huqas belonging to Janoo and Azizun. The seal cutter entered, and I heard Suddhoo throw himself down on the floor and groan. Azizun caught her breath, and Janoo backed against one of the beds with a shudder. There was a clink of something metallic, followed by a pale blue-green flame flickering near the ground. The light was just enough to reveal Azizun, pressed into one corner of the room with the terrier between her knees; Janoo, with her hands clasped, leaning forward as she sat on the bed; Suddhoo, face down, trembling, and the seal cutter.
I hope I may never see another man like that seal cutter. He was stripped to the waist, with a wreath of white jasmine as thick as my wrist round his forehead, a salmon-colored loin-cloth round his middle, and a steel bangle on each ankle. This was not awe-inspiring. It was the face of the man that turned me cold. It was blue-gray in the first place. In the second, the eyes were rolled back till you could only see the whites of them; and, in the third, the face was the face of a demon—a ghoul—anything you please except of the sleek, oily old ruffian who sat in the daytime over his turning-lathe downstairs. He was lying on his stomach with his arms turned and crossed behind him, as if he had been thrown down pinioned. His head and neck were the only parts of him off the floor. They were nearly at right angles to the body, like the head of a cobra at spring. It was ghastly. In the center of the room, on the bare earth floor, stood a big, deep, brass basin, with a pale blue-green light floating in the center like a night-light. Round that basin the man on the floor wriggled himself three times. How he did it I do not know. I could see the muscles ripple along his spine and fall smooth again; but I could not see any other motion. The head seemed the only thing alive about him, except that slow curl and uncurl of the laboring back muscles. Janoo from the bed was breathing seventy to the minute; Azizun held her hands before her eyes; and old Suddhoo, fingering at the dirt that had got into his white beard, was crying to himself. The horror of it was that the creeping, crawly thing made no sound—only crawled! And, remember, this lasted for ten minutes, while the terrier whined, and Azizun shuddered, and Janoo gasped and Suddhoo cried.
I hope I never have to see another guy like that seal cutter. He was shirtless, wearing a thick wreath of white jasmine around his forehead and a salmon-colored loincloth around his waist, with a steel bangle on each ankle. That wasn’t impressive; it was his face that gave me chills. It was a blue-gray color. His eyes were rolled back so you could only see the whites, and his expression looked like that of a demon—a ghoul—anything but the slick, old rascal who sat at his lathe downstairs during the day. He was lying on his stomach with his arms twisted and crossed behind him, as if he had been thrown down and restrained. Only his head and neck were off the ground, at nearly a right angle to his body, like a cobra ready to strike. It was horrifying. In the middle of the room, on the bare earth floor, there was a big, deep brass basin, with a pale blue-green light floating in it like a night-light. The man on the floor wriggled himself around that basin three times. I don’t know how he did it. I could see the muscles ripple along his spine and then smooth out again, but I couldn’t see any other movement. His head seemed to be the only thing alive, except for the slow curl and uncurl of the straining back muscles. Janoo on the bed was breathing rapidly; Azizun had her hands over her eyes; and old Suddhoo, picking at the dirt caught in his white beard, was quietly crying. The horror was that the creeping, crawling figure made no sound—just crawled! And remember, this lasted for ten minutes, while the terrier whined, Azizun shuddered, Janoo gasped, and Suddhoo cried.
I felt the hair lift at the back of my head, and my heart thump like a thermantidote paddle. Luckily, the seal cutter betrayed himself by his most impressive trick and made me calm again. After he had finished that unspeakable crawl, he stretched his head away from the floor as high as he could, and sent out a jet of fire from his nostrils. Now I knew how fire—spouting is done—I can do it myself—so I felt at ease. The business was a fraud. If he had only kept to that crawl without trying to raise the effect, goodness knows what I might not have thought. Both the girls shrieked at the jet of fire, and the head dropped, chin down on the floor, with a thud; the whole body lying then like a corpse with its arms trussed. There was a pause of five full minutes after this, and the blue-green flame died down. Janoo stooped to settle one of her anklets, while Azizun turned her face to the wall and took the terrier in her arms. Suddhoo put out an arm mechanically to Janoo's huqa, and she slid it across the floor with her foot. Directly above the body and on the wall were a couple of flaming portraits, in stamped paper frames, of the Queen and the Prince of Wales. They looked down on the performance, and, to my thinking, seemed to heighten the grotesqueness of it all.
I felt my hair lift at the back of my head, and my heart pounded like a frantic drum. Luckily, the seal cutter revealed himself with his most impressive trick and made me feel calm again. After he finished that awful crawl, he stretched his head away from the floor as high as he could and shot out a jet of fire from his nostrils. Now I understood how fire-spouting is done—I could do it myself—so I felt at ease. The whole act was a sham. If he had just stuck to that crawl without trying to enhance the effect, who knows what I might have thought. Both girls screamed at the jet of fire, and the head dropped, chin down on the floor, with a thud; the whole body then lay like a corpse with its arms tied. There was a pause of five full minutes after this, and the blue-green flame faded away. Janoo bent down to adjust one of her anklets, while Azizun turned her face to the wall and held the terrier in her arms. Suddhoo reached out mechanically for Janoo's huqa, and she slid it across the floor with her foot. Directly above the body and on the wall were a couple of flaming portraits, in stamped paper frames, of the Queen and the Prince of Wales. They looked down on the performance and, to me, seemed to make everything even more bizarre.
Just when the silence was getting unendurable, the body turned over and rolled away from the basin to the side of the room, where it lay stomach up. There was a faint "plop" from the basin—exactly like the noise a fish makes when it takes a fly—and the green light in the center revived.
Just when the silence was becoming unbearable, the body flipped over and rolled away from the basin to the side of the room, where it lay on its back. There was a faint "plop" from the basin—just like the sound a fish makes when it takes a fly—and the green light in the center came back to life.
I looked at the basin, and saw, bobbing in the water the dried, shriveled, black head of a native baby—open eyes, open mouth and shaved scalp. It was worse, being so very sudden, than the crawling exhibition. We had no time to say anything before it began to speak.
I looked at the basin and saw the dried, shriveled black head of a native baby bobbing in the water—eyes open, mouth open, and scalp shaved. It was even worse, being so sudden, than the crawling display. We didn't have time to say anything before it started to speak.
Read Poe's account of the voice that came from the mesmerized dying man, and you will realize less than one half of the horror of that head's voice.
Read Poe's account of the voice that came from the mesmerized dying man, and you'll understand less than half of the horror of that head's voice.
There was an interval of a second or two between each word, and a sort of "ring, ring, ring," in the note of the voice like the timbre of a bell. It pealed slowly, as if talking to itself, for several minutes before I got rid of my cold sweat. Then the blessed solution struck me. I looked at the body lying near the doorway, and saw, just where the hollow of the throat joins on the shoulders, a muscle that had nothing to do with any man's regular breathing, twitching away steadily. The whole thing was a careful reproduction of the Egyptian teraphin that one reads about sometimes; and the voice was as clever and as appalling a piece of ventriloquism as one could wish to hear. All this time the head was "lip-lip-lapping" against the side of the basin, and speaking. It told Suddhoo, on his face again whining, of his son's illness and of the state of the illness up to the evening of that very night. I always shall respect the seal cutter for keeping so faithfully to the time of the Peshawar telegrams. It went on to say that skilled doctors were night and day watching over the man's life; and that he would eventually recover if the fee to the potent sorcerer, whose servant was the head in the basin, were doubled.
There was a brief pause between each word, and the voice had a "ring, ring, ring" quality, like the sound of a bell. It echoed slowly, as if it was having a conversation with itself, for several minutes before I managed to shake off my cold sweat. Then the brilliant realization hit me. I glanced at the body lying by the doorway and noticed, right where the hollow of the throat meets the shoulders, a muscle that wasn’t part of normal breathing, twitching steadily. It was a carefully crafted imitation of the Egyptian teraphin that one sometimes reads about; and the voice was as impressive and terrifying a case of ventriloquism as one could imagine. All this time, the head was "lip-lip-lapping" against the side of the basin while speaking. It informed Suddhoo, who was back to whining, about his son's illness and the condition up to that very evening. I will always admire the seal cutter for sticking so closely to the timeline of the Peshawar telegrams. It continued to say that skilled doctors were watching over the man’s life day and night; and that he would eventually recover if the fee to the powerful sorcerer, whose servant was the head in the basin, were doubled.
Here the mistake from the artistic point of view came in. To ask for twice your stipulated fee in a voice that Lazarus might have used when he rose from the dead, is absurd. Janoo, who is really a woman of masculine intellect, saw this as quickly as I did. I heard her say "Ash nahin! Fareib!" scornfully under her breath; and just as she said so, the light in the basin died out, the head stopped talking, and we heard the room door creak on its hinges. Then Janoo struck a match, lit the lamp, and we saw that head, basin, and seal cutter were gone. Suddhoo was wringing his hands and explaining to anyone who cared to listen, that, if his chances of eternal salvation depended on it, he could not raise another two hundred rupees. Azizun was nearly in hysterics in the corner; while Janoo sat down composedly on one of the beds to discuss the probabilities of the whole thing being a bunao, or "make-up."
Here’s where the mistake from an artistic standpoint happened. Asking for double your agreed fee in a tone that Lazarus might have used when he came back to life is ridiculous. Janoo, who actually has a very sharp mind, realized this as quickly as I did. I heard her mutter "Ash nahin! Fareib!" scornfully under her breath; and just as she did, the light in the basin went out, the head stopped talking, and we heard the door creak open. Then Janoo lit a match, turned on the lamp, and we saw that the head, the basin, and the seal cutter had vanished. Suddhoo was wringing his hands and telling anyone who would listen that if his chances of eternal salvation depended on it, he couldn’t raise another two hundred rupees. Azizun was nearly in hysterics in the corner, while Janoo calmly sat down on one of the beds to discuss the possibility that the whole thing was a bunao, or "make-up."
I explained as much as I knew of the seal cutter's way of jadoo; but her argument was much more simple:—"The magic that is always demanding gifts is no true magic," said she. "My mother told me that the only potent love spells are those which are told you for love. This seal cutter man is a liar and a devil. I dare not tell, do anything, or get anything done, because I am in debt to Bhagwan Dass the bunnia for two gold rings and a heavy anklet. I must get my food from his shop. The seal cutter is the friend of Bhagwan Dass, and he would poison my food. A fool's jadoo has been going on for ten days, and has cost Suddhoo many rupees each night. The seal cutter used black hens and lemons and mantras before. He never showed us anything like this till to-night. Azizun is a fool, and will be a pur dahnashin soon. Suddhoo has lost his strength and his wits. See now! I had hoped to get from Suddhoo many rupees while he lived, and many more after his death; and behold, he is spending everything on that offspring of a devil and a she-ass, the seal cutter!"
I shared everything I knew about the seal cutter's magic, but her argument was a lot simpler: "Magic that always asks for gifts isn’t real magic," she said. "My mom told me that the only real love spells are the ones given out of love. This seal cutter guy is a liar and a devil. I can't tell or do anything because I'm in debt to Bhagwan Dass, the shopkeeper, for two gold rings and a heavy anklet. I have to buy my food from his shop. The seal cutter is friends with Bhagwan Dass, and he could poison my food. A fool's magic has been going on for ten days, costing Suddhoo plenty of rupees each night. The seal cutter previously used black hens, lemons, and chants. He never showed us anything like this until tonight. Azizun is a fool and will soon be a foolish bride. Suddhoo has lost both his strength and his mind. Look! I had hoped to get a lot of rupees from Suddhoo while he was alive and even more after his death; now he’s spending everything on that offspring of a devil and a she-ass, the seal cutter!"
Here I said: "But what induced Suddhoo to drag me into the business? Of course I can speak to the seal cutter, and he shall refund. The whole thing is child's talk—shame—and senseless."
Here I said: "But what made Suddhoo pull me into this? Of course I can talk to the seal cutter, and he'll give the money back. This whole thing is just nonsense—shameful—and ridiculous."
"Suddhoo is an old child," said Janoo. "He has lived on the roofs these seventy years and is as senseless as a milch goat. He brought you here to assure himself that he was not breaking any law of the Sirkar, whose salt he ate many years ago. He worships the dust off the feet of the seal cutter, and that cow devourer has forbidden him to go and see his son. What does Suddhoo know of your laws or the lightning post? I have to watch his money going day by day to that lying beast below."
"Suddhoo is an old child," Janoo said. "He’s been living on the roofs for seventy years and is as clueless as a dairy goat. He brought you here to make sure he wasn't breaking any laws of the Sirkar, whose salt he consumed so long ago. He worships the ground the seal cutter walks on, and that cow eater has forbidden him from seeing his son. What does Suddhoo know about your laws or the lightning post? I have to see his money disappear day by day to that lying beast down below."
Janoo stamped her foot on the floor and nearly cried with vexation; while Suddhoo was whimpering under a blanket in the corner, and Azizun was trying to guide the pipe-stem to his foolish old mouth.
Janoo stomped her foot on the floor, almost crying in frustration, while Suddhoo was sniffling under a blanket in the corner, and Azizun was trying to get the pipe to his clueless old mouth.
Now the case stands thus. Unthinkingly, I have laid myself open to the charge of aiding and abetting the seal cutter in obtaining money under false pretenses, which is forbidden by Section 420 of the Indian Penal Code. I am helpless in the matter for these reasons, I cannot inform the police. What witnesses would support my statements? Janoo refuses flatly, and Azizun is a veiled woman somewhere near Bareilly—lost in this big India of ours. I dare not again take the law into my own hands, and speak to the seal cutter; for certain am I that, not only would Suddhoo disbelieve me, but this step would end in the poisoning of Janoo, who is bound hand and foot by her debt to the bunnia. Suddhoo is an old dotard; and whenever we meet mumbles my idiotic joke that the Sirkar rather patronizes the Black Art than otherwise. His son is well now; but Suddhoo is completely under the influence of the seal cutter, by whose advice he regulates the affairs of his life. Janoo watches daily the money that she hoped to wheedle out of Suddhoo taken by the seal cutter, and becomes daily more furious and sullen.
Now the situation is like this. Thoughtlessly, I’ve put myself in a position to be accused of helping the seal cutter get money through deception, which is against Section 420 of the Indian Penal Code. I feel powerless because I can’t go to the police. What witnesses would back up my claims? Janoo flat out refuses, and Azizun is a veiled woman somewhere near Bareilly—lost in this vast India of ours. I don’t dare take matters into my own hands again and talk to the seal cutter; I’m certain that not only would Suddhoo not believe me, but this would also lead to Janoo being harmed, as she’s trapped by her debt to the bunnia. Suddhoo is an old fool; every time we meet, he mutters my silly joke that the Sirkar actually supports the Black Art. His son is doing well now, but Suddhoo is completely under the control of the seal cutter, who advises him on how to run his life. Janoo watches every day as the money she hoped to get from Suddhoo is taken by the seal cutter, and she grows angrier and more withdrawn each day.
She will never tell, because she dare not; but, unless something happens to prevent her, I am afraid that the seal cutter will die of cholera—the white arsenic kind—about the middle of May. And thus I shall have to be privy to a murder in the house of Suddhoo.
She'll never say, because she's too scared; but unless something stops it, I'm worried that the seal cutter will die of cholera—the white arsenic kind—around mid-May. And so, I'll have to be complicit in a murder in Suddhoo's home.
His Wedded Wife
That question: "Are you the man?" We searched for Cain. A few centuries ago, around the globe,
That created the fear our own wrongdoings keep. Today.
Shakespeare says something about worms, or it may be giants or beetles, turning if you tread on them too severely. The safest plan is never to tread on a worm—not even on the last new subaltern from Home, with his buttons hardly out of their tissue paper, and the red of sappy English beef in his cheeks. This is the story of the worm that turned. For the sake of brevity, we will call Henry Augustus Ramsay Faizanne, "The Worm," although he really was an exceedingly pretty boy, without a hair on his face, and with a waist like a girl's, when he came out to the Second "Shikarris" and was made unhappy in several ways. The "Shikarris" are a high-caste regiment, and you must be able to do things well—play a banjo, or ride more than little, or sing, or act—to get on with them.
Shakespeare mentions something about worms, or maybe giants or beetles, that can turn if you step on them too hard. The safest approach is to never step on a worm—not even the newest recruit from Home, with his buttons barely out of their packaging and the flush of fresh English beef in his cheeks. This is the story of the worm that turned. For the sake of brevity, we’ll call Henry Augustus Ramsay Faizanne, "The Worm," even though he was actually a really good-looking boy, clean-shaven, with a waist like a girl’s, when he joined the Second "Shikarris" and faced various hardships. The "Shikarris" is a high-caste regiment, and you need to excel at something—play the banjo, ride well, sing, or act—to fit in with them.
The Worm did nothing except fall off his pony, and knock chips out of gate posts with his trap. Even that became monotonous after a time. He objected to whist, cut the cloth at billiards, sang out of tune, kept very much to himself, and wrote to his Mamma and sisters at Home. Four of these five things were vices which the "Shikarris" objected to and set themselves to eradicate. Everyone knows how subalterns are, by brother subalterns, softened and not permitted to be ferocious. It is good and wholesome, and does no one any harm, unless tempers are lost; and then there is trouble. There was a man once—but that is another story.
The Worm did nothing but fall off his pony and knock chips out of gate posts with his trap. Even that got boring after a while. He didn't like whist, messed up at billiards, sang out of tune, kept mostly to himself, and wrote to his mom and sisters back home. Four of those five things were habits that the "Shikarris" disapproved of and aimed to fix. Everyone knows how subalterns are softened by their fellow subalterns and aren’t allowed to be intense. It’s a good and healthy thing that doesn’t hurt anyone, unless tempers flare; then it gets messy. There was a guy once—but that’s a different story.
The "Shikarris" shikarred The Worm very much, and he bore everything without winking. He was so good and so anxious to learn, and flushed so pink, that his education was cut short, and he was left to his own devices by everyone except the Senior Subaltern who continued to make life a burden to The Worm. The Senior Subaltern meant no harm; but his chaff was coarse, and he didn't quite understand where to stop. He had been waiting too long for his Company; and that always sours a man. Also he was in love, which made him worse.
The "Shikarris" really went after The Worm, and he handled everything without flinching. He was so eager to learn and so embarrassed, that his education was cut short, and he was left to figure things out on his own by everyone except the Senior Subaltern, who kept making life difficult for The Worm. The Senior Subaltern didn’t mean any harm; but his teasing was harsh, and he didn’t quite know when to stop. He had been waiting too long for his Company, and that always frustrates a person. Plus, he was in love, which just made things worse.
One day, after he had borrowed The Worm's trap for a lady who never existed, had used it himself all the afternoon, had sent a note to The Worm, purporting to come from the lady, and was telling the Mess all about it, The Worm rose in his place and said, in his quiet, ladylike voice:—"That was a very pretty sell; but I'll lay you a month's pay to a month's pay when you get your step, that I work a sell on you that you'll remember for the rest of your days, and the Regiment after you when you're dead or broke." The Worm wasn't angry in the least, and the rest of the Mess shouted. Then the Senior Subaltern looked at The Worm from the boots upward, and down again and said: "Done, Baby." The Worm took the rest of the Mess to witness that the bet had been taken, and retired into a book with a sweet smile.
One day, after he had borrowed The Worm's trap for a lady who didn't exist, had used it himself all afternoon, had sent a note to The Worm pretending it was from the lady, and was telling the Mess all about it, The Worm stood up and said, in his calm, feminine voice:—"That was a pretty clever trick; but I'll bet you a month's pay against your month's pay that when you get your promotion, I'll pull a trick on you that'll stick in your mind for the rest of your life, and the Regiment will remember it after you're gone or broke." The Worm wasn't angry at all, and the rest of the Mess cheered. Then the Senior Subaltern looked The Worm up and down and said: "You're on, Baby." The Worm made sure the rest of the Mess witnessed the bet being made and then settled down with a book and a sweet smile.
Two months passed, and the Senior Subaltern still educated The Worm, who began to move about a little more as the hot weather came on. I have said that the Senior Subaltern was in love. The curious thing is that a girl was in love with the Senior Subaltern. Though the Colonel said awful things, and the Majors snorted, and married Captains looked unutterable wisdom, and the juniors scoffed, those two were engaged.
Two months went by, and the Senior Subaltern continued to mentor The Worm, who started to move around a bit more as the warmer weather arrived. I've mentioned that the Senior Subaltern was in love. Interestingly, a girl was in love with the Senior Subaltern too. Despite the Colonel saying terrible things, the Majors scoffing, married Captains looking all-knowing, and the juniors mocking, those two were engaged.
The Senior Subaltern was so pleased with getting his Company and his acceptance at the same time that he forgot to bother The Worm. The girl was a pretty girl, and had money of her own. She does not come into this story at all.
The Senior Subaltern was really happy about getting his Company and his acceptance at the same time that he didn’t even think about The Worm. The girl was pretty and had her own money. She doesn’t play a role in this story at all.
One night, at beginning of the hot weather, all the Mess, except The Worm who had gone to his own room to write Home letters, were sitting on the platform outside the Mess House. The Band had finished playing, but no one wanted to go in. And the Captains' wives were there also. The folly of a man in love is unlimited. The Senior Subaltern had been holding forth on the merits of the girl he was engaged to, and the ladies were purring approval, while the men yawned, when there was a rustle of skirts in the dark, and a tired, faint voice lifted itself.
One night, at the start of the hot season, everyone in the Mess, except for The Worm who had gone to his room to write letters home, was sitting on the platform outside the Mess House. The Band had wrapped up their performance, but nobody wanted to head inside. The Captains' wives were there too. A man's foolishness when he's in love knows no bounds. The Senior Subaltern was excitedly talking about how great the girl he was engaged to was, and the ladies were cooing in agreement while the men were yawning, when suddenly, a rustle of skirts was heard in the darkness, and a tired, faint voice spoke up.
"Where's my husband?"
"Where's my husband?"
I do not wish in the least to reflect on the morality of the "Shikarris"; but it is on record that four men jumped up as if they had been shot. Three of them were married men. Perhaps they were afraid that their wives had come from Home unbeknownst. The fourth said that he had acted on the impulse of the moment. He explained this afterwards.
I don't want to judge the morals of the "Shikarris," but it's documented that four guys jumped up as if they'd been shot. Three of them were married. Maybe they were worried their wives had unexpectedly come from home. The fourth guy said he acted on a sudden impulse. He explained this later.
Then the voice cried: "Oh Lionel!" Lionel was the Senior Subaltern's name. A woman came into the little circle of light by the candles on the peg tables, stretching out her hands to the dark where the Senior Subaltern was, and sobbing. We rose to our feet, feeling that things were going to happen and ready to believe the worst. In this bad, small world of ours, one knows so little of the life of the next man—which, after all, is entirely his own concern—that one is not surprised when a crash comes. Anything might turn up any day for anyone. Perhaps the Senior Subaltern had been trapped in his youth. Men are crippled that way occasionally. We didn't know; we wanted to hear; and the Captains' wives were as anxious as we. If he had been trapped, he was to be excused; for the woman from nowhere, in the dusty shoes and gray traveling dress, was very lovely, with black hair and great eyes full of tears. She was tall, with a fine figure, and her voice had a running sob in it pitiful to hear. As soon as the Senior Subaltern stood up, she threw her arms round his neck, and called him "my darling" and said she could not bear waiting alone in England, and his letters were so short and cold, and she was his to the end of the world, and would he forgive her? This did not sound quite like a lady's way of speaking. It was too demonstrative.
Then a voice cried out, "Oh Lionel!" Lionel was the Senior Subaltern's name. A woman stepped into the small circle of light by the candles on the peg tables, reaching out her hands toward the dark where the Senior Subaltern was, and sobbing. We got to our feet, sensing that something was about to happen and bracing ourselves for the worst. In this bleak, small world of ours, we know so little about the lives of others—which is really their own business—so it's not surprising when disaster strikes. Anything could happen any day to anyone. Maybe the Senior Subaltern had been trapped by his past. Men can end up like that sometimes. We didn’t know; we wanted to find out; and the Captains' wives were just as anxious as we were. If he had been trapped, we couldn’t blame him, because the woman who came from nowhere, in dusty shoes and a gray traveling dress, was very beautiful, with black hair and large, teary eyes. She was tall, had a lovely figure, and her voice carried a heartbreaking sob. As soon as the Senior Subaltern stood up, she threw her arms around his neck, called him "my darling," and said she couldn't stand waiting alone in England, that his letters were so short and cold, that she belonged to him to the ends of the earth, and would he forgive her? This didn’t sound quite like a lady's way of speaking. It was too emotional.
Things seemed black indeed, and the Captains' wives peered under their eyebrows at the Senior Subaltern, and the Colonel's face set like the Day of Judgment framed in gray bristles, and no one spoke for a while.
Things looked really grim, and the Captains' wives squinted at the Senior Subaltern, while the Colonel's face was set like a grim Day of Judgment framed in gray stubble, and nobody said anything for a moment.
Next the Colonel said, very shortly: "Well, sir?" and the woman sobbed afresh. The Senior Subaltern was half choked with the arms round his neck, but he gasped out: "It's a d——d lie! I never had a wife in my life!" "Don't swear," said the Colonel. "Come into the Mess. We must sift this clear somehow," and he sighed to himself, for he believed in his "Shikarris," did the Colonel.
Next, the Colonel said tersely, "Well, sir?" and the woman sobbed again. The Senior Subaltern was partly choked by the arms around his neck, but he managed to gasp, "It's a damn lie! I never had a wife in my life!" "Don't use that language," said the Colonel. "Come into the Mess. We need to sort this out somehow," and he sighed to himself, for he believed in his "Shikarris," the Colonel did.
We trooped into the anteroom, under the full lights, and there we saw how beautiful the woman was. She stood up in the middle of us all, sometimes choking with crying, then hard and proud, and then holding out her arms to the Senior Subaltern. It was like the fourth act of a tragedy. She told us how the Senior Subaltern had married her when he was Home on leave eighteen months before; and she seemed to know all that we knew, and more too, of his people and his past life. He was white and ashy gray, trying now and again to break into the torrent of her words; and we, noting how lovely she was and what a criminal he looked, esteemed him a beast of the worst kind. We felt sorry for him, though.
We walked into the anteroom, under the bright lights, and there we saw how beautiful the woman was. She stood in the middle of us all, sometimes choking on her tears, then hard and proud, and then reaching out her arms to the Senior Subaltern. It was like the fourth act of a tragedy. She told us how the Senior Subaltern had married her when he was home on leave eighteen months ago; and she seemed to know everything we knew, and more too, about his family and his past. He looked pale and stressed, trying now and then to interrupt her flood of words; and we, noticing how beautiful she was and how guilty he looked, considered him a monster of the worst kind. Still, we felt sorry for him.
I shall never forget the indictment of the Senior Subaltern by his wife. Nor will he. It was so sudden, rushing out of the dark, unannounced, into our dull lives. The Captains' wives stood back; but their eyes were alight, and you could see that they had already convicted and sentenced the Senior Subaltern. The Colonel seemed five years older. One Major was shading his eyes with his hand and watching the woman from underneath it. Another was chewing his mustache and smiling quietly as if he were witnessing a play. Full in the open space in the center, by the whist tables, the Senior Subaltern's terrier was hunting for fleas. I remember all this as clearly as though a photograph were in my hand. I remember the look of horror on the Senior Subaltern's face. It was rather like seeing a man hanged; but much more interesting. Finally, the woman wound up by saying that the Senior Subaltern carried a double F.M. in tattoo on his left shoulder. We all knew that, and to our innocent minds it seemed to clinch the matter. But one of the Bachelor Majors said very politely: "I presume that your marriage certificate would be more to the purpose?"
I will never forget how the Senior Subaltern's wife called him out. Neither will he. It hit us all so suddenly, emerging from the darkness, unannounced, into our mundane lives. The Captains' wives stepped back, but their eyes sparkled with excitement, and you could tell they had already judged and condemned the Senior Subaltern. The Colonel looked five years older. One Major was shielding his eyes with his hand, watching the woman from beneath it. Another was absentmindedly chewing his mustache and smiling quietly as if he were enjoying a play. Right in the open space in the center, by the whist tables, the Senior Subaltern's terrier was scratching for fleas. I remember all of this as clearly as if I held a photograph. I can still see the look of horror on the Senior Subaltern's face. It was kind of like watching someone be hanged, but way more intriguing. In the end, the woman concluded by saying that the Senior Subaltern had a double F.M. tattooed on his left shoulder. We all knew that, and to our naïve minds, it seemed to wrap things up. But one of the Bachelor Majors politely asked, "I assume your marriage certificate would be more relevant?"
That roused the woman. She stood up and sneered at the Senior Subaltern for a cur, and abused the Major and the Colonel and all the rest. Then she wept, and then she pulled a paper from her breast, saying imperially: "Take that! And let my husband—my lawfully wedded husband—read it aloud—if he dare!"
That got the woman’s attention. She stood up and mocked the Senior Subaltern, calling him a coward, and insulted the Major, the Colonel, and everyone else. Then she cried, and after that, she took a piece of paper from her chest, saying with authority: "Take this! And let my husband—my legally wedded husband—read it out loud—if he dares!"
There was a hush, and the men looked into each other's eyes as the Senior Subaltern came forward in a dazed and dizzy way, and took the paper. We were wondering, as we stared, whether there was anything against any one of us that might turn up later on. The Senior Subaltern's throat was dry; but, as he ran his eye over the paper, he broke out into a hoarse cackle of relief, and said to the woman: "You young blackguard!"
There was a silence, and the men looked into each other's eyes as the Senior Subaltern stepped forward in a dazed and dizzy manner and took the paper. We wondered, as we watched, if there was anything on anyone that might come up later. The Senior Subaltern's throat was dry; but as he scanned the paper, he let out a hoarse laugh of relief and said to the woman, "You little rascal!"
But the woman had fled through a door, and on the paper was written: "This is to certify that I, The Worm, have paid in full my debts to the Senior Subaltern, and, further, that the Senior Subaltern is my debtor, by agreement on the 23d of February, as by the Mess attested, to the extent of one month's Captain's pay, in the lawful currency of the India Empire."
But the woman had run out through a door, and on the paper it said: "This is to certify that I, The Worm, have fully paid my debts to the Senior Subaltern, and, additionally, that the Senior Subaltern owes me, based on our agreement on February 23rd, as confirmed by the Mess, for the amount of one month's Captain's pay, in the legal currency of the India Empire."
Then a deputation set off for The Worm's quarters and found him, betwixt and between, unlacing his stays, with the hat, wig, serge dress, etc., on the bed. He came over as he was, and the "Shikarris" shouted till the Gunners' Mess sent over to know if they might have a share of the fun. I think we were all, except the Colonel and the Senior Subaltern, a little disappointed that the scandal had come to nothing. But that is human nature. There could be no two words about The Worm's acting. It leaned as near to a nasty tragedy as anything this side of a joke can. When most of the Subalterns sat upon him with sofa cushions to find out why he had not said that acting was his strong point, he answered very quietly: "I don't think you ever asked me. I used to act at Home with my sisters." But no acting with girls could account for The Worm's display that night. Personally, I think it was in bad taste. Besides being dangerous. There is no sort of use in playing with fire, even for fun.
Then a group headed to The Worm's room and found him in a bit of a mess, unlacing his corset, with his hat, wig, serge dress, and other things on the bed. He came over just as he was, and the "Shikarris" yelled until the Gunners' Mess wondered if they could join in the fun. I think we were all a bit disappointed, except for the Colonel and the Senior Subaltern, that the drama didn’t lead to anything more. But that’s human nature. There’s no denying The Worm’s performance. It was almost a tragicomedy, teetering between a real tragedy and a joke. When most of the Subalterns piled cushions on him to find out why he never mentioned that acting was his strength, he replied calmly, “I don’t think you ever asked me. I used to act at home with my sisters.” But no acting with girls could explain The Worm’s performance that night. Personally, I thought it was in poor taste. Plus, it was dangerous. There's no point in playing with fire, even if it's just for laughs.
The "Shikarris" made him President of the Regimental Dramatic Club; and, when the Senior Subaltern paid up his debt, which he did at once, The Worm sank the money in scenery and dresses. He was a good Worm; and the "Shikarris" are proud of him. The only drawback is that he has been christened "Mrs. Senior Subaltern"; and, as there are now two Mrs. Senior Subalterns in the Station, this is sometimes confusing to strangers.
The "Shikarris" made him President of the Regimental Dramatic Club; and when the Senior Subaltern paid off his debt, which he did immediately, The Worm used the money for sets and costumes. He was a solid Worm; and the "Shikarris" are proud of him. The only issue is that he's now called "Mrs. Senior Subaltern"; and since there are two Mrs. Senior Subalterns in the Station, this can be confusing for outsiders.
Later on, I will tell you of a case something like this, but with all the jest left out and nothing in it but real trouble.
Later on, I'll share a case similar to this, but without any humor—just pure trouble.
A. Conan Doyle
A Case of Identity
"My dear fellow," said Sherlock Holmes, as we sat on either side of the fire in his lodgings at Baker Street, "life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man can invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the plannings, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chains of events, working through generations, and leading to the most outré results, it would make all fiction, with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions, most stale and unprofitable."
"My dear friend," said Sherlock Holmes, as we sat on either side of the fire in his place on Baker Street, "life is infinitely stranger than anything the human mind can come up with. We wouldn't even dare to imagine the things that are actually just ordinary parts of life. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this vast city, gently take off the roofs, and peek inside at the bizarre things happening, the strange coincidences, the plans, the conflicting intentions, the amazing chains of events spanning generations, leading to the most unusual outcomes, it would make all fiction, with its clichés and predictable endings, seem utterly stale and pointless."
"And yet I am not convinced of it," I answered. "The cases which come to light in the papers are, as a rule, bald enough, and vulgar enough. We have in our police reports realism pushed to its extreme limits, and yet the result is, it must be confessed, neither fascinating nor artistic."
"And yet I'm not sure about that," I replied. "The cases that make it into the news are usually pretty bland and common. Our police reports take realism to the max, but the outcome is, I must admit, neither captivating nor artistic."
"A certain selection and discretion must be used in producing a realistic effect," remarked Holmes. "This is wanting in the police report, where more stress is laid perhaps upon the platitudes of the magistrate than upon the details, which to an observer contain the vital essence of the whole matter. Depend upon it, there is nothing so unnatural as the commonplace."
"A careful choice and a bit of judgment are necessary to create a realistic effect," Holmes commented. "This is lacking in the police report, where there's probably more emphasis on the magistrate's clichés than on the details, which are crucial for anyone observing the situation. Rest assured, there's nothing more unnatural than the ordinary."
I smiled and shook my head. "I can quite understand your thinking so," I said. "Of course, in your position of unofficial adviser and helper to everybody who is absolutely puzzled, throughout three continents, you are brought in contact with all that is strange and bizarre. But here"—I picked up the morning paper from the ground—"let us put it to a practical test. Here is the first heading upon which I come. 'A husband's cruelty to his wife.' There is half a column of print, but I know without reading it that it is all perfectly familiar to me. There is, of course, the other woman, the drink, the push, the blow, the bruise, the unsympathetic sister or landlady. The crudest of writers could invent nothing more crude."
I smiled and shook my head. "I totally get why you think that," I said. "Of course, in your role as an unofficial adviser and helper to everyone who's completely confused, across three continents, you're exposed to all kinds of strange and bizarre situations. But look here"—I picked up the morning paper from the ground—"let's put it to a practical test. Here’s the first headline I see. 'A husband's cruelty to his wife.' There's half a column of text, but I know without reading it that it's all too familiar to me. There’s always the other woman, the alcohol, the shove, the hit, the bruise, the unsympathetic sister or landlady. Even the most basic of writers couldn’t come up with anything more basic."
"Indeed your example is an unfortunate one for your argument," said Holmes, taking the paper, and glancing his eye down it. "This is the Dundas separation case, and, as it happens, I was engaged in clearing up some small points in connection with it. The husband was a teetotaler, there was no other woman, and the conduct complained of was that he had drifted into the habit of winding up every meal by taking out his false teeth and hurling them at his wife, which you will allow is not an action likely to occur to the imagination of the average story teller. Take a pinch of snuff, doctor, and acknowledge that I have scored over you in your example."
"Actually, your example is a poor one for your argument," said Holmes, taking the paper and scanning it. "This is the Dundas separation case, and coincidentally, I was looking into some minor details related to it. The husband was a teetotaler, there was no other woman involved, and the behavior being complained about was that he had developed the habit of taking out his false teeth and throwing them at his wife after every meal, which, I believe you’ll agree, is not something the average storyteller would think of. Take a pinch of snuff, doctor, and admit that I've outdone you with your example."
He held out his snuffbox of old gold, with a great amethyst in the center of the lid. Its splendor was in such contrast to his homely ways and simple life that I could not help commenting upon it.
He held out his old gold snuffbox, featuring a large amethyst in the center of the lid. Its brightness was such a contrast to his down-to-earth demeanor and simple lifestyle that I couldn’t help but mention it.
"Ah!" said he, "I forgot that I had not seen you for some weeks. It is a little souvenir from the King of Bohemia, in return for my assistance in the case of the Irene Adler papers."
"Ah!" he said, "I forgot that I hadn't seen you for a few weeks. This is a little gift from the King of Bohemia, as a thank-you for my help with the Irene Adler papers."
"And the ring?" I asked, glancing at a remarkable brilliant which sparkled upon his finger.
"And the ring?" I asked, looking at a stunning gem that sparkled on his finger.
"It was from the reigning family of Holland, though the matter in which I served them was of such delicacy that I cannot confide it even to you, who have been good enough to chronicle one or two of my little problems."
"It was from the ruling family of Holland, but the nature of my service was so sensitive that I can’t share it even with you, who have been kind enough to document a few of my small issues."
"And have you any on hand just now?" I asked with interest.
"And do you have any available right now?" I asked with interest.
"Some ten or twelve, but none which present any features of interest. They are important, you understand, without being interesting. Indeed I have found that it is usually in unimportant matters that there is a field for the observation, and for the quick analysis of cause and effect which gives the charm to an investigation. The larger crimes are apt to be the simpler, for the bigger the crime, the more obvious, as a rule, is the motive. In these cases, save for one rather intricate matter which has been referred to me from Marseilles, there is nothing which presents any features of interest. It is possible, however, that I may have something better before very many minutes are over, for this is one of my clients, or I am much mistaken."
"Somewhere around ten or twelve, but none that have any interesting features. They’re important, you know, without being engaging. In fact, I’ve noticed that it’s usually in less significant matters that there’s a chance for observation and the quick analysis of cause and effect that makes an investigation appealing. Bigger crimes tend to be the simpler ones because, generally, the larger the crime, the more obvious the motive is. In these cases, except for one rather complex issue that’s been referred to me from Marseilles, there’s nothing that stands out as interesting. However, it’s possible that I might have something more intriguing in just a few minutes, as this is one of my clients, or I could be mistaken."
He had risen from his chair, and was standing between the parted blinds, gazing down into the dull, neutral-tinted London street. Looking over his shoulder, I saw that on the pavement opposite there stood a large woman with a heavy fur boa round her neck, and a large curling red feather in a broad-brimmed hat which was tilted in a coquettish Duchess-of-Devonshire fashion over her ear.
He had gotten up from his chair and was standing between the opened blinds, staring down at the plain, muted London street. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed a large woman on the opposite sidewalk wearing a heavy fur boa around her neck and a big, curled red feather in a wide-brimmed hat that was tilted playfully over her ear, reminiscent of the Duchess of Devonshire.
From under this great panoply she peeped up in a nervous, hesitating fashion at our windows, while her body oscillated backward and forward, and her fingers fidgeted with her glove buttons. Suddenly, with a plunge, as of the swimmer who leaves the bank, she hurried across the road, and we heard the sharp clang of the bell.
From underneath this elaborate display, she nervously peeked up at our windows, swaying back and forth while her fingers fidgeted with her glove buttons. Suddenly, with a sudden leap, like a swimmer diving in, she dashed across the road, and we heard the loud clang of the bell.
"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur. She would like advice, but is not sure that the matter is not too delicate for communication. And yet even here we may discriminate. When a woman has been seriously wronged by a man, she no longer oscillates, and the usual symptom is a broken bell wire. Here we may take it that there is a love matter, but that the maiden is not so much angry as perplexed or grieved. But here she comes in person to resolve our doubts."
"I've seen those signs before," said Holmes, tossing his cigarette into the fire. "Pacing back and forth on the sidewalk usually means a love issue. She wants advice but isn't sure if the situation is too sensitive to discuss. Still, we can differentiate. When a woman has been seriously hurt by a man, she stops pacing, and the usual sign is a broken bell wire. Here, we can assume there's a romantic matter, but the woman isn't so much angry as she is confused or upset. And here she comes in person to clear things up."
As he spoke, there was a tap at the door, and the boy in buttons entered to announce Miss Mary Sutherland, while the lady herself loomed behind his small black figure like a full-sailed merchantman behind a tiny pilot boat. Sherlock Holmes welcomed her with the easy courtesy for which he was remarkable, and having closed the door, and bowed her into an armchair, he looked her over in the minute and yet abstracted fashion which was peculiar to him.
As he was talking, there was a knock at the door, and the buttoned boy came in to announce Miss Mary Sutherland, while she herself stood behind his small black figure like a large merchant ship behind a tiny pilot boat. Sherlock Holmes greeted her with his usual effortless politeness, and after closing the door and guiding her into an armchair, he examined her in the detailed yet distant way that was characteristic of him.
"Do you not find," he said, "that with your short sight it is a little trying to do so much typewriting?"
"Don't you think," he said, "that with your poor eyesight, it’s a bit challenging to do so much typing?"
"I did at first," she answered, "but now I know where the letters are without looking." Then, suddenly realizing the full purport of his words, she gave a violent start, and looked up with fear and astonishment upon her broad, good-humored face. "You've heard about me, Mr. Holmes," she cried, "else how could you know all that?"
"I did at first," she replied, "but now I can find the letters without even looking." Then, suddenly understanding the full meaning of his words, she jumped in shock and looked up at him, her broad, cheerful face filled with fear and surprise. "You've heard about me, Mr. Holmes," she exclaimed, "otherwise, how could you possibly know all that?"
"Never mind," said Holmes, laughing, "it is my business to know things. Perhaps I have trained myself to see what others overlook. If not, why should you come to consult me?"
"Never mind," Holmes said with a laugh, "it's my job to know things. Maybe I've trained myself to notice what others miss. If I haven't, then why would you come to me for advice?"
"I came to you, sir, because I heard of you from Mrs. Etherege, whose husband you found so easily when the police and everyone had given him up for dead. Oh, Mr. Holmes, I wish you would do as much for me. I'm not rich, but still I have a hundred a year in my own right, besides the little that I make by the machine, and I would give it all to know what has become of Mr. Hosmer Angel."
"I came to you, sir, because I heard about you from Mrs. Etherege, whose husband you located so easily when the police and everyone else had given up on him being alive. Oh, Mr. Holmes, I wish you would do the same for me. I'm not wealthy, but I do have a hundred a year on my own, in addition to what I make with the machine, and I would give it all to know what happened to Mr. Hosmer Angel."
"Why did you come away to consult me in such a hurry?" asked Sherlock Holmes, with his finger tips together, and his eyes to the ceiling.
"Why did you rush over to ask for my help?" asked Sherlock Holmes, with his fingertips together and his eyes on the ceiling.
Again a startled look came over the somewhat vacuous face of Miss Mary Sutherland. "Yes, I did bang out of the house," she said, "for it made me angry to see the easy way in which Mr. Windibank—that is, my father—took it all. He would not go to the police, and he would not go to you, and so at last, as he would do nothing, and kept on saying that there was no harm done, it made me mad, and I just on with my things and came right away to you."
Again a shocked expression crossed the somewhat empty face of Miss Mary Sutherland. "Yes, I did storm out of the house," she said, "because it really frustrated me to see how casually Mr. Windibank—my father—handled everything. He wouldn’t go to the police, nor would he come to you, and eventually, since he was doing nothing and kept insisting that nothing was wrong, it drove me crazy, so I grabbed my things and came straight to you."
"Your father?" said Holmes. "Your stepfather, surely, since the name is different."
"Your father?" Holmes asked. "I assume it's your stepfather, since the last name is different."
"Yes, my stepfather. I call him father, though it sounds funny, too, for he is only five years and two months older than myself."
"Yes, my stepdad. I call him dad, even though it sounds a bit odd since he’s only five years and two months older than me."
"And your mother is alive?"
"And your mom is alive?"
"Oh, yes; mother is alive and well. I wasn't best pleased, Mr. Holmes, when she married again so soon after father's death, and a man who was nearly fifteen years younger than herself. Father was a plumber in the Tottenham Court Road, and he left a tidy business behind him, which mother carried on with Mr. Hardy, the foreman; but when Mr. Windibank came he made her sell the business, for he was very superior, being a traveler in wines. They got four thousand seven hundred for the good-will and interest, which wasn't near as much as father could have got if he had been alive."
"Oh, yes; my mother is alive and doing well. I wasn't very happy, Mr. Holmes, when she remarried so quickly after my father's death, especially to a man who is nearly fifteen years younger than she is. My father was a plumber on Tottenham Court Road, and he left behind a decent business, which my mother ran with Mr. Hardy, the foreman. But when Mr. Windibank came along, he made her sell the business because he thought he was superior, being a traveler in wines. They got four thousand seven hundred for the goodwill and interest, which was nowhere near as much as my father could have gotten if he had been alive."
I had expected to see Sherlock Holmes impatient under this rambling and inconsequential narrative, but, on the contrary, he had listened with the greatest concentration of attention.
I thought I would find Sherlock Holmes restless during this long and pointless story, but instead, he listened with intense focus.
"Your own little income," he asked, "does it come out of the business?"
"Your own little income," he asked, "does it come from the business?"
"Oh, no, sir. It is quite separate, and was left me by my Uncle Ned in Auckland. It is in New Zealand stock, paying four and half per cent. Two thousand five hundred pounds was the amount, but I can only touch the interest."
“Oh, no, sir. It’s completely separate and was left to me by my Uncle Ned in Auckland. It’s in New Zealand stock, paying four and a half percent. The total amount was two thousand five hundred pounds, but I can only access the interest.”
"You interest me extremely," said Holmes. "And since you draw so large a sum as a hundred a year, with what you earn into the bargain, you no doubt travel a little, and indulge yourself in every way. I believe that a single lady can get on very nicely upon an income of about sixty pounds."
"You really fascinate me," said Holmes. "And since you make a good amount like a hundred a year, along with what you earn on top of that, you probably travel a bit and treat yourself in various ways. I think a single woman can manage quite well on an income of about sixty pounds."
"I could do with much less than that, Mr. Holmes, but you understand that as long as I live at home I don't wish to be a burden to them, and so they have the use of the money just while I am staying with them. Of course that is only just for the time. Mr. Windibank draws my interest every quarter, and pays it over to mother, and I find that I can do pretty well with what I earn at typewriting. It brings me twopence a sheet, and I can often do from fifteen to twenty sheets in a day."
"I could manage with a lot less than that, Mr. Holmes, but you see, as long as I live at home, I don't want to be a burden to them, so they can use the money while I’m staying with them. Of course, that’s just temporary. Mr. Windibank takes my interest every three months and gives it to my mom, and I find that I can get by pretty well with what I make from typewriting. I earn two pence a sheet, and I can often complete fifteen to twenty sheets in a day."
"You have made your position very clear to me," said Holmes. "This is my friend, Doctor Watson, before whom you can speak as freely as before myself. Kindly tell us now all about your connection with Mr. Hosmer Angel."
"You've been very clear about your position," Holmes said. "This is my friend, Doctor Watson, so you can speak just as openly with him as you do with me. Please tell us everything about your connection with Mr. Hosmer Angel."
A flush stole over Miss Sutherland's face, and she picked nervously at the fringe of her jacket. "I met him first at the gasfitters' ball," she said. "They used to send father tickets when he was alive, and then afterwards they remembered us, and sent them to mother. Mr. Windibank did not wish us to go. He never did wish us to go anywhere. He would get quite mad if I wanted so much as to join a Sunday School treat. But this time I was set on going, and I would go, for what right had he to prevent? He said the folk were not fit for us to know, when all father's friends were to be there. And he said that I had nothing fit to wear, when I had my purple plush that I had never so much as taken out of the drawer. At last, when nothing else would do, he went off to France upon the business of the firm; but we went, mother and I, with Mr. Hardy, who used to be our foreman, and it was there I met Mr. Hosmer Angel."
A flush spread across Miss Sutherland's face, and she nervously picked at the fringe of her jacket. "I first met him at the gasfitters' ball," she said. "They used to send tickets to my dad when he was alive, and later they sent them to my mom. Mr. Windibank didn’t want us to go. He never wanted us to go anywhere. He would get really upset if I even wanted to join a Sunday School outing. But this time I was determined to go, and I would go, because what right did he have to stop me? He said the people there weren't the right kind for us, even though all of my dad's friends were going to be there. And he said I didn’t have anything nice to wear, when I had my purple plush dress that I had never even taken out of the drawer. Finally, when nothing else worked, he went off to France for work; but my mom and I went with Mr. Hardy, who used to be our foreman, and it was there I met Mr. Hosmer Angel."
"I suppose," said Holmes, "that when Mr. Windibank came back from France, he was very annoyed at your having gone to the ball?"
"I guess," Holmes said, "that when Mr. Windibank returned from France, he was really upset about you going to the ball?"
"Oh, well, he was very good about it. He laughed, I remember, and shrugged his shoulders, and said there was no use denying anything to a woman, for she would have her way."
"Oh, well, he handled it really well. I remember he laughed, shrugged his shoulders, and said there was no point in denying anything to a woman because she would always get her way."
"I see. Then at the gasfitters' ball you met, as I understand, a gentleman called Mr. Hosmer Angel?"
"I see. So at the gasfitters' ball, you met a guy named Mr. Hosmer Angel?"
"Yes, sir. I met him that night, and he called next day to ask if we had got home all safe, and after that we met him—that is to say, Mr. Holmes, I met him twice for walks, but after that father came back again, and Mr. Hosmer Angel could not come to the house any more."
"Yes, sir. I met him that night, and he called the next day to check if we got home safely. After that, I met him twice for walks, but then my father came back, and Mr. Hosmer Angel couldn't come to the house anymore."
"No?"
"Nope?"
"Well, you know, father didn't like anything of the sort. He wouldn't have any visitors if he could help it, and he used to say that a woman should be happy in her own family circle. But then, as I used to say to mother, a woman wants her own circle to begin with, and I had not got mine yet."
"Well, you know, Dad didn't like anything like that. He wouldn't have any visitors if he could avoid it, and he used to say that a woman should be happy in her own family. But then, as I used to say to Mom, a woman needs her own circle to start with, and I hadn't found mine yet."
"But how about Mr. Hosmer Angel? Did he make no attempt to see you?"
"But what about Mr. Hosmer Angel? Did he not try to see you?"
"Well, father was going off to France again in a week, and Hosmer wrote and said that it would be safer and better not to see each other until he had gone. We could write in the meantime, and he used to write every day. I took the letters in the morning, so there was no need for father to know."
"Well, Dad was leaving for France again in a week, and Hosmer wrote to say it would be safer and better not to see each other until he was gone. We could write in the meantime, and he used to write every day. I collected the letters in the morning, so Dad didn't have to know."
"Were you engaged to the gentleman at this time?"
"Were you dating that guy at this time?"
"Oh, yes, Mr. Holmes. We were engaged after the first walk that we took. Hosmer—Mr. Angel—was a cashier in an office in Leadenhall Street—and—"
"Oh, yes, Mr. Holmes. We got engaged after the first walk we took. Hosmer—Mr. Angel—was a cashier in an office on Leadenhall Street—and—"
"What office?"
"What office?"
"That's the worst of it, Mr. Holmes; I don't know."
"That's the worst part, Mr. Holmes; I have no idea."
"Where did he live, then?"
"Where did he live?"
"He slept on the premises."
"He slept on-site."
"And you don't know his address?"
"And you don't know where he lives?"
"No—except that it was Leadenhall Street."
"No—except that it was Leadenhall Street."
"Where did you address your letters, then?"
"Where did you send your letters, then?"
"To the Leadenhall Street Post Office, to be left till called for. He said that if they were sent to the office he would be chaffed by all the other clerks about having letters from a lady, so I offered to typewrite them, like he did his, but he wouldn't have that, for he said that when I wrote them they seemed to come from me, but when they were typewritten he always felt that the machine had come between us. That will just show you how fond he was of me, Mr. Holmes, and the little things that he would think of."
"To the Leadenhall Street Post Office, to be kept until picked up. He said that if they were sent to the office, all the other clerks would tease him about getting letters from a woman, so I offered to type them up, like he did with his. But he didn't want that, because he said when I wrote them, they felt like they were from me, but when they were typewritten, he always felt that the machine separated us. That shows you how much he cared about me, Mr. Holmes, and the little things he considered."
"It was most suggestive," said Holmes. "It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important. Can you remember any other little things about Mr. Hosmer Angel?"
"It was very revealing," said Holmes. "I've always maintained that the small details are often the most significant. Can you recall any other small details about Mr. Hosmer Angel?"
"He was a very shy man, Mr. Holmes. He would rather walk with me in the evening than in the daylight, for he said that he hated to be conspicuous. Very retiring and gentlemanly he was. Even his voice was gentle. He'd had the quinsy and swollen glands when he was young, he told me, and it had left him with a weak throat and a hesitating, whispering fashion of speech. He was always well dressed, very neat and plain, but his eyes were weak, just as mine are, and he wore tinted glasses against the glare."
"He was a very shy man, Mr. Holmes. He preferred to walk with me in the evening rather than during the day because he said he hated being in the spotlight. He was very reserved and quite gentlemanly. Even his voice was soft. He mentioned that he had suffered from quinsy and swollen glands when he was young, which left him with a weak throat and a hesitant, whispery way of speaking. He was always well-dressed, very neat and simple, but his eyes were weak, just like mine, and he wore tinted glasses to shield them from the glare."
"Well, and what happened when Mr. Windibank, your stepfather, returned to France?"
"Well, what happened when Mr. Windibank, your stepdad, got back to France?"
"Mr. Hosmer Angel came to the house again, and proposed that we should marry before father came back. He was in dreadful earnest, and made me swear, with my hands on the Testament, that whatever happened I would always be true to him. Mother said he was quite right to make me swear, and that it was a sign of his passion. Mother was all in his favor from the first, and was even fonder of him than I was. Then, when they talked of marrying within the week, I began to ask about father; but they both said never to mind about father, but just to tell him afterwards and mother said she would make it all right with him. I didn't quite like that, Mr. Holmes. It seemed funny that I should ask his leave, as he was only a few years older than me; but I didn't want to do anything on the sly, so I wrote to father at Bordeaux, where the company has its French offices, but the letter came back to me on the very morning of the wedding."
"Mr. Hosmer Angel came to the house again and suggested that we should get married before my father returned. He was really serious and made me swear, with my hands on the Bible, that no matter what happened, I would always be loyal to him. My mother said he was right to make me swear and that it showed how passionate he was. She was completely in his favor from the start and liked him even more than I did. Then, when they talked about marrying within the week, I began to ask about my father. But they both told me not to worry about him, saying I could just tell him later and that my mother would handle everything with him. I didn't like that idea, Mr. Holmes. It felt strange to think I needed his permission when he was only a few years older than I was; but I didn’t want to do anything behind his back, so I wrote to my father in Bordeaux, where the company has its French offices, but the letter was returned to me on the very morning of the wedding."
"It missed him, then?"
"It missed him, right?"
"Yes, sir, for he had started to England just before it arrived."
"Yes, sir, because he had left for England just before it arrived."
"Ha! that was unfortunate. Your wedding was arranged, then, for the Friday. Was it to be in church?"
"Ha! That was unfortunate. So, your wedding was scheduled for Friday, then? Was it going to be in a church?"
"Yes, sir, but very quietly. It was to be at St. Saviour's, near King's Cross, and we were to have breakfast afterwards at the St. Pancras Hotel. Hosmer came for us in a hansom, but as there were two of us, he put us both into it, and stepped himself into a four-wheeler, which happened to be the only other cab in the street. We got to the church first, and when the four-wheeler drove up we waited for him to step out, but he never did, and when the cabman got down from the box and looked, there was no one there! The cabman said that he could not imagine what had become of him, for he had seen him get in with his own eyes. That was last Friday, Mr. Holmes, and I have never seen or heard anything since then to throw any light upon what became of him."
"Yes, sir, but very quietly. It was supposed to be at St. Saviour's, near King's Cross, and we were going to have breakfast afterwards at the St. Pancras Hotel. Hosmer picked us up in a cab, but since there were two of us, he put us both in it and got into a four-wheeler himself, which happened to be the only other taxi on the street. We arrived at the church first, and when the four-wheeler pulled up, we waited for him to get out, but he never did. When the driver got down to check, there was no one inside! The driver said he couldn't understand what had happened to him, because he had seen him get in with his own eyes. That was last Friday, Mr. Holmes, and I haven’t seen or heard anything since then that could explain what happened to him."
"It seems to me that you have been very shamefully treated," said Holmes.
"It looks to me like you've been treated very unfairly," said Holmes.
"Oh, no, sir! He was too good and kind to leave me so. Why, all the morning he was saying to me that, whatever happened, I was to be true; and that even if something quite unforeseen occurred to separate us, I was always to remember that I was pledged to him, and that he would claim his pledge sooner or later. It seemed strange talk for a wedding morning, but what has happened since gives a meaning to it."
"Oh no, sir! He was too good and kind to leave me like this. All morning he kept telling me that no matter what happened, I had to stay true; and that even if something completely unexpected came up to separate us, I was always to remember that I was committed to him, and that he would hold me to that commitment sooner or later. It sounded odd for a wedding morning, but what has happened since makes it meaningful."
"Most certainly it does. Your own opinion is, then, that some unforeseen catastrophe has occurred to him?"
"Definitely. So, your opinion is that something unexpected and disastrous has happened to him?"
"Yes, sir. I believe that he foresaw some danger, or else he would not have talked so. And then I think that what he foresaw happened."
"Yes, sir. I think he saw some kind of danger, or he wouldn't have said that. And I believe what he predicted actually happened."
"But you have no notion as to what it could have been?"
"But you have no idea what it could have been?"
"None."
"None."
"One more question. How did your mother take the matter?"
"One more question. How did your mom react to the situation?"
"She was angry, and said that I was never to speak of the matter again."
"She was angry and said I should never mention that again."
"And your father? Did you tell him?"
"And what about your dad? Did you tell him?"
"Yes, and he seemed to think, with me, that something had happened, and that I should hear of Hosmer again. As he said, what interest could anyone have in bringing me to the door of the church, and then leaving me? Now, if he had borrowed my money, or if he had married me and got my money settled on him, there might be some reason; but Hosmer was very independent about money, and never would look at a shilling of mine. And yet what could have happened? And why could he not write? Oh! it drives me half mad to think of, and I can't sleep a wink at night." She pulled a little handkerchief out of her muff, and began to sob heavily into it.
"Yeah, he seemed to believe, like I did, that something had gone wrong and that I'd hear from Hosmer again. As he pointed out, what reason would anyone have to take me to the church door and then just leave me? If he had borrowed my money, or if he had married me and secured my money for himself, there might be some explanation; but Hosmer was really independent when it came to money and would never touch a penny of mine. Still, what could have happened? And why hasn’t he written? Oh! It drives me crazy to think about it, and I can't sleep at all at night." She took a small handkerchief from her muff and started to cry heavily into it.
"I shall glance into the case for you," said Holmes, rising, "and I have no doubt that we shall reach some definite result. Let the weight of the matter rest upon me now, and do not let your mind dwell upon it further. Above all, try to let Mr. Hosmer Angel vanish from your memory, as he has done from your life."
"I'll take a look at the case for you," said Holmes, standing up, "and I'm sure we'll come to a clear conclusion. Let me handle the seriousness of this now, and try not to think about it anymore. Most importantly, try to forget about Mr. Hosmer Angel, as he has disappeared from your life."
"Then you don't think I'll see him again?"
"Then you don't think I'll see him again?"
"I fear not."
"I'm not afraid."
"Then what has happened to him?"
"Then what happened to him?"
"You will leave that question in my hands. I should like an accurate description of him, and any letters of his which you can spare."
"You'll leave that question to me. I’d like a detailed description of him and any letters of his that you can share."
"I advertised for him in last Saturday's Chronicle," said she. "Here is the slip, and here are four letters from him."
"I put out an ad for him in last Saturday's Chronicle," she said. "Here's the slip, and I have four letters from him."
"Thank you. And your address?"
"Thanks. What's your address?"
"No. 31 Lyon Place, Camberwell."
"31 Lyon Place, Camberwell."
"Mr. Angel's address you never had, I understand. Where is your father's place of business?"
"Mr. Angel's address is something you never received, I see. Where does your father work?"
"He travels for Westhouse & Marbank, the great claret importers of Fenchurch Street."
"He works for Westhouse & Marbank, the leading claret importers on Fenchurch Street."
"Thank you. You have made your statement very clearly. You will leave the papers here, and remember the advice which I have given you. Let the whole incident be a sealed book, and do not allow it to affect your life."
"Thanks. You've made your point very clear. You'll leave the papers here, and keep in mind the advice I gave you. Let this whole incident be behind you, and don’t let it impact your life."
"You are very kind, Mr. Holmes, but I cannot do that. I shall be true to Hosmer. He shall find me ready when he comes back."
"You’re very kind, Mr. Holmes, but I can’t do that. I’ll stay true to Hosmer. He’ll find me ready when he comes back."
For all the preposterous hat and the vacuous face, there was something noble in the simple faith of our visitor which compelled our respect. She laid her little bundle of papers upon the table, and went her way, with a promise to come again whenever she might be summoned.
For all the ridiculous hat and empty expression, there was something dignified in our visitor's simple faith that earned our respect. She placed her small bundle of papers on the table and left, promising to return whenever she was needed.
Sherlock Holmes sat silent for a few minutes with his finger tips still pressed together, his legs stretched out in front of him, and his gaze directed upward to the ceiling. Then he took down from the rack the old and oily clay pipe, which was to him as a counselor, and, having lighted it, he leaned back in his chair, with thick blue cloud wreaths spinning up from him, and a look of infinite languor in his face.
Sherlock Holmes sat quietly for a few minutes with his fingertips still pressed together, legs stretched out in front of him, and his eyes directed upward at the ceiling. Then he took down the old, greasy clay pipe from the rack, which served as his adviser, and after lighting it, he leaned back in his chair, thick blue clouds of smoke swirling up around him, wearing an expression of deep weariness on his face.
"Quite an interesting study, that maiden," he observed. "I found her more interesting than her little problem, which, by the way, is rather a trite one. You will find parallel cases, if you consult my index, in Andover in '77, and there was something of the sort at The Hague last year. Old as is the idea, however, there were one or two details which were new to me. But the maiden herself was most instructive."
"That young woman is quite an interesting case," he noted. "I found her more captivating than her minor issue, which, by the way, is quite common. You’ll find similar cases if you check my index—there was one in Andover in '77, and something like it happened in The Hague last year. Although the concept is old, there were a couple of details that were new to me. But the young woman herself was extremely enlightening."
"You appeared to read a good deal upon her which was quite invisible to me," I remarked.
"You seemed to know a lot about her that I couldn't see," I said.
"Not invisible, but unnoticed, Watson. You did not know where to look, and so you missed all that was important. I can never bring you to realize the importance of sleeves, the suggestiveness of thumb nails, or the great issues that may hang from a boot lace. Now, what did you gather from that woman's appearance? Describe it."
"Not invisible, but overlooked, Watson. You didn't know where to look, so you missed everything important. I can never help you understand the significance of sleeves, the implications of thumb nails, or the big issues that can come from a boot lace. Now, what did you notice about that woman's appearance? Describe it."
"Well, she had a slate-colored, broad-brimmed straw hat, with a feather of a brickish red. Her jacket was black, with black beads sewed upon it and a fringe of little black jet ornaments. Her dress was brown, rather darker than coffee color, with a little purple plush at the neck and sleeves. Her gloves were grayish, and were worn through at the right forefinger. Her boots I didn't observe. She had small round, hanging gold earrings, and a general air of being fairly well-to-do, in a vulgar, comfortable, easy-going way."
"Well, she was wearing a slate-colored, wide-brimmed straw hat with a brick-red feather. Her jacket was black, embellished with black beads and a fringe of tiny black jet ornaments. Her dress was a dark brown, slightly deeper than coffee, with a touch of purple plush at the neck and sleeves. Her gloves were grayish and had a hole in the right forefinger. I didn’t notice her boots. She had small round gold earrings that hung down, and she gave off a vibe of being fairly well-off in a casual, laid-back kind of way."
Sherlock Holmes clapped his hands softly together and chuckled.
Sherlock Holmes softly clapped his hands together and laughed.
"'Pon my word, Watson, you are coming along wonderfully. You have really done very well indeed. It is true that you have missed everything of importance, but you have hit upon the method, and you have a quick eye for color. Never trust to general impressions, my boy, but concentrate yourself upon details. My first glance is always at a woman's sleeve. In a man it is perhaps better first to take the knee of the trouser. As you observe, this woman had plush upon her sleeve, which is a most useful material for showing traces. The double line a little above the wrist, where the typewritist presses against the table, was beautifully defined. The sewing machine, of the hand type, leaves a similar mark, but only on the left arm, and on the side of it farthest from the thumb, instead of being right across the broadest part, as this was. I then glanced at her face, and observing the dint of a pince-nez at either side of her nose, I ventured a remark upon short sight and typewriting, which seemed to surprise her."
"'I swear, Watson, you're progressing amazingly. You've really done a great job. It's true that you've missed all the important details, but you've figured out the method, and you have a sharp eye for color. Never rely on general impressions, my friend; focus on the specifics. My first look is always at a woman's sleeve. For men, it's usually better to first check the knee of the trousers. As you can see, this woman had plush on her sleeve, which is really useful for showing traces. The double line a little above the wrist, where the typist rests against the table, was clearly defined. A hand-operated sewing machine leaves a similar mark, but only on the left arm, and on the side farthest from the thumb, instead of right across the widest part like this one. Then I glanced at her face, and noticing the imprint of a pince-nez on either side of her nose, I made a comment about nearsightedness and typewriting, which seemed to surprise her."
"It surprised me."
"I was surprised."
"But, surely, it was very obvious. I was then much surprised and interested on glancing down to observe that, though the boots which she was wearing were not unlike each other, they were really odd ones, the one having a slightly decorated toe cap and the other a plain one. One was buttoned only in the two lower buttons out of five, and the other at the first, third, and fifth. Now, when you see that a young lady, otherwise neatly dressed, has come away from home with odd boots, half-buttoned, it is no great deduction to say that she came away in a hurry."
"But it was definitely obvious. I was quite surprised and intrigued when I looked down and noticed that even though her boots were somewhat similar, they were actually mismatched—one had a slightly decorated toe cap, while the other was plain. One was only buttoned at the bottom two buttons out of five, and the other was buttoned at the first, third, and fifth. So, when you see a young woman, otherwise dressed neatly, leaving home with mismatched and half-buttoned boots, it's not a huge leap to conclude that she left in a hurry."
"And what else?" I asked, keenly interested, as I always was, by my friend's incisive reasoning.
"And what else?" I asked, genuinely curious, as I always was, about my friend's sharp insights.
"I noted, in passing, that she had written a note before leaving home, but after being fully dressed. You observed that her right glove was torn at the forefinger, but you did not, apparently, see that both glove and finger were stained with violet ink. She had written in a hurry, and dipped her pen too deep. It must have been this morning, or the mark would not remain clear upon the finger. All this is amusing, though rather elementary, but I must go back to business, Watson. Would you mind reading me the advertised description of Mr. Hosmer Angel?"
"I casually noticed that she had written a note before leaving home, but only after getting fully dressed. You saw that her right glove was torn at the forefinger, but it seems you didn't notice that both the glove and her finger were stained with violet ink. She must have been in a hurry and dipped her pen in too deep. It had to be this morning, or the mark wouldn’t still be clear on her finger. All of this is interesting, though pretty basic, but I need to get back to work, Watson. Could you read me the ad for Mr. Hosmer Angel?"
I held the little printed slip to the light. "Missing," it said, "on the morning of the fourteenth, a gentleman named Hosmer Angel. About five feet seven inches in height; strongly built, sallow complexion, black hair, a little bald in the center, bushy black side-whiskers and mustache; tinted glasses; slight infirmity of speech. Was dressed, when last seen, in black frock-coat faced with silk, black waistcoat, gold Albert chain, and gray Harris tweed trousers, with brown gaiters over elastic-sided boots. Known to have been employed in an office in Leadenhall Street. Anybody bringing," etc., etc.
I held the small printed slip up to the light. "Missing," it read, "on the morning of the fourteenth, a man named Hosmer Angel. About five feet seven inches tall; well-built, with a sallow complexion, black hair, slightly bald on top, bushy black sideburns and mustache; wearing tinted glasses; slight speech impairment. Last seen wearing a black frock coat with silk facing, black waistcoat, gold Albert chain, and gray Harris tweed trousers, with brown gaiters over elastic-sided boots. Known to have worked in an office on Leadenhall Street. Anyone bringing," etc., etc.
"That will do," said Holmes. "As to the letters," he continued, glancing over them, "they are very commonplace. Absolutely no clew in them to Mr. Angel, save that he quotes Balzac once. There is one remarkable point, however, which will no doubt strike you."
"That's enough," Holmes said. "About the letters," he continued, looking them over, "they're pretty ordinary. There’s no clue in them about Mr. Angel, except that he quotes Balzac once. Yet, there is one interesting point that I’m sure will catch your attention."
"They are typewritten," I remarked.
"They're typed," I remarked.
"Not only that, but the signature is typewritten. Look at the neat little 'Hosmer Angel' at the bottom. There is a date, you see, but no superscription except Leadenhall Street, which is rather vague. The point about the signature is very suggestive—in fact, we may call it conclusive."
"Not only that, but the signature is typed. Check out the neat little 'Hosmer Angel' at the bottom. There is a date, but no address apart from Leadenhall Street, which is pretty vague. The thing about the signature is very telling—in fact, we can say it's conclusive."
"Of what?"
"About what?"
"My dear fellow, is it possible you do not see how strongly it bears upon the case?"
"My dear friend, can you really not see how strongly it relates to the situation?"
"I cannot say that I do, unless it were that he wished to be able to deny his signature if an action for breach of promise were instituted."
"I can’t say that I do, unless he wanted to be able to deny his signature if someone filed a lawsuit for breaking a promise."
"No, that was not the point. However, I shall write two letters which should settle the matter. One is to a firm in the City, the other is to the young lady's stepfather, Mr. Windibank, asking him whether he could meet us here at six o'clock to-morrow evening. It is just as well that we should do business with the male relatives. And now, doctor, we can do nothing until the answers to those letters come, so we may put our little problem upon the shelf for the interim."
"No, that wasn't the point. But I’ll write two letters that should resolve the issue. One is to a company in the City, and the other is to the young lady's stepfather, Mr. Windibank, asking if he could meet us here at six o'clock tomorrow evening. It's best that we deal with the male relatives. And now, doctor, we can’t do anything until we get replies to those letters, so let's set our little problem aside for now."
I had had so many reasons to believe in my friend's subtle powers of reasoning, and extraordinary energy in action, that I felt that he must have some solid grounds for the assured and easy demeanor with which he treated the singular mystery which he had been called upon to fathom. Once only had I known him to fail, in the case of the King of Bohemia and the Irene Adler photograph, but when I looked back to the weird business of the "Sign of the Four," and the extraordinary circumstances connected with the "Study in Scarlet," I felt that it would be a strange tangle indeed which he could not unravel.
I had so many reasons to trust in my friend's keen reasoning skills and his incredible energy in taking action that I felt he must have solid grounds for the confident and relaxed way he approached the unusual mystery he was trying to solve. I had only seen him fail once, with the case of the King of Bohemia and the Irene Adler photograph, but when I thought back to the strange events of the "Sign of the Four" and the remarkable circumstances surrounding the "Study in Scarlet," I felt that it would be a truly complicated situation that he couldn't figure out.
I left him then, still puffing at his black clay pipe, with the conviction that when I came again on the next evening I would find that he held in his hands all the clews which would lead up to the identity of the disappearing bridegroom of Miss Mary Sutherland.
I left him then, still smoking his black clay pipe, believing that when I returned the next evening, he would have all the clues that would reveal the identity of Miss Mary Sutherland's missing bridegroom.
A professional case of great gravity was engaging my own attention at the time, and the whole of next day I was busy at the bedside of the sufferer. It was not until close upon six o'clock that I found myself free, and was able to spring into a hansom and drive to Baker Street, half afraid that I might be too late to assist at the dénouement of the little mystery. I found Sherlock Holmes alone, however, half asleep, with his long, thin form curled up in the recesses of his armchair. A formidable array of bottles and test-tubes, with the pungent, cleanly smell of hydrochloric acid, told me that he had spent his day in the chemical work which was so dear to him.
A serious case had my full attention at the time, and I spent the entire next day by the patient’s side. It wasn’t until just before six o'clock that I finally felt free and could hop into a cab to drive to Baker Street, worried I might be too late to witness the resolution of the little mystery. When I arrived, I found Sherlock Holmes alone, half-awake, with his long, lean body curled up in the corner of his armchair. A daunting collection of bottles and test tubes, along with the sharp, clean scent of hydrochloric acid, indicated that he had devoted his day to the chemical work he loved.
"Well, have you solved it?" I asked as I entered.
"Well, did you figure it out?" I asked as I walked in.
"Yes. It was the bisulphate of baryta."
"Yes, it was barium bisulfate."
"No, no; the mystery!" I cried.
"No, no; the mystery!" I exclaimed.
"Oh, that! I thought of the salt that I have been working upon. There was never any mystery in the matter, though, as I said yesterday, some of the details are of interest. The only drawback is that there is no law, I fear, that can touch the scoundrel."
"Oh, that! I was thinking about the salt I've been working on. There was never really any mystery about it, but like I mentioned yesterday, some of the details are interesting. The only downside is that, unfortunately, there's no law that can hold the scoundrel accountable."
"Who was he, then, and what was his object in deserting Miss Sutherland?"
"Who was he, and why did he leave Miss Sutherland?"
The question was hardly out of my mouth, and Holmes had not yet opened his lips to reply, when we heard a heavy footfall in the passage, and a tap at the door.
The question had barely left my mouth, and Holmes hadn't even started to respond, when we heard a heavy step in the hallway and a knock at the door.
"This is the girl's stepfather, Mr. James Windibank," said Holmes. "He has written to me to say that he would be here at six. Come in!"
"This is the girl's stepdad, Mr. James Windibank," said Holmes. "He wrote to tell me he would be here at six. Come in!"
The man who entered was a sturdy, middle-sized fellow, some thirty years of age, clean shaven, and sallow-skinned, with a bland, insinuating manner, and a pair of wonderfully sharp and penetrating gray eyes. He shot a questioning glance at each of us, placed his shiny top hat upon the sideboard, and, with a slight bow, sidled down into the nearest chair.
The man who walked in was a solidly built guy, about thirty years old, clean-shaven, and with a pale complexion. He had a smooth, charming way about him and a pair of incredibly sharp and piercing gray eyes. He shot a questioning look at each of us, set his shiny top hat on the sideboard, and with a slight bow, slid into the nearest chair.
"Good evening, Mr. James Windibank," said Holmes. "I think this typewritten letter is from you, in which you made an appointment with me for six o'clock?"
"Good evening, Mr. James Windibank," Holmes said. "I believe this typewritten letter is from you, in which you scheduled an appointment with me for six o'clock?"
"Yes, sir. I am afraid that I am a little late, but I am not quite my own master, you know. I am sorry that Miss Sutherland has troubled you about this little matter, for I think it is far better not to wash linen of the sort in public. It was quite against my wishes that she came, but she is a very excitable, impulsive girl, as you may have noticed, and she is not easily controlled when she has made up her mind on a point. Of course, I did not mind you so much, as you are not connected with the official police, but it is not pleasant to have a family misfortune like this noised abroad. Besides, it is a useless expense, for how could you possibly find this Hosmer Angel?"
"Yes, sir. I’m sorry I’m a bit late, but I’m not exactly my own boss, you know. I regret that Miss Sutherland bothered you about this small matter because I think it’s better not to air our dirty laundry in public. She came against my wishes, but she’s a very emotional, impulsive girl, as you may have noticed, and she’s hard to control once she’s made up her mind about something. Of course, I didn’t mind you so much since you’re not with the official police, but it’s uncomfortable to have a family issue like this spread around. Also, it’s a pointless expense, because how could you possibly track down this Hosmer Angel?"
"On the contrary," said Holmes, quietly, "I have every reason to believe that I will succeed in discovering Mr. Hosmer Angel."
"On the contrary," Holmes said calmly, "I have every reason to believe that I will succeed in finding Mr. Hosmer Angel."
Mr. Windibank gave a violent start, and dropped his gloves. "I am delighted to hear it," he said.
Mr. Windibank jumped and dropped his gloves. "I'm really glad to hear that," he said.
"It is a curious thing," remarked Holmes, "that a typewriter has really quite as much individuality as a man's handwriting. Unless they are quite new no two of them write exactly alike. Some letters get more worn than others, and some wear only on one side. Now, you remark in this note of yours, Mr. Windibank, that in every case there is some little slurring over the e, and a slight defect in the tail of the r. There are fourteen other characteristics, but those are the more obvious."
"It’s interesting," Holmes said, "that a typewriter has just as much individuality as a person's handwriting. Unless they're brand new, no two write exactly the same. Some letters get more worn than others, and some wear down only on one side. Now, you’ll notice in this note of yours, Mr. Windibank, that in every case there’s a slight slur over the e, and a small defect in the tail of the r. There are fourteen other characteristics, but those are the most obvious."
"We do all our correspondence with this machine at the office, and no doubt it is a little worn," our visitor answered, glancing keenly at Holmes with his bright little eyes.
"We handle all our communication with this machine at the office, and it's definitely a bit worn," our visitor replied, giving Holmes a sharp glance with his bright little eyes.
"And now I will show you what is really a very interesting study, Mr. Windibank," Holmes continued. "I think of writing another little monograph some of these days on the typewriter and its relation to crime. It is a subject to which I have devoted some little attention. I have here four letters which purport to come from the missing man. They are all typewritten. In each case, not only are the e's slurred and the r's tailless, but you will observe, if you care to use my magnifying lens, that the fourteen other characteristics to which I have alluded are there as well."
"And now I’m going to show you something quite fascinating, Mr. Windibank," Holmes continued. "I’m thinking about writing another short paper soon on typewriters and their connection to crime. It’s a topic I’ve spent some time considering. I have four letters here that are supposed to be from the missing man. They’re all typewritten. In each case, not only are the e's blurred and the r's missing their tails, but you’ll notice, if you want to use my magnifying glass, that the fourteen other traits I mentioned are present as well."
Mr. Windibank sprung out of his chair, and picked up his hat. "I cannot waste time over this sort of fantastic talk, Mr. Holmes," he said. "If you can catch the man, catch him, and let me know when you have done it."
Mr. Windibank jumped out of his chair and grabbed his hat. "I can't waste time on this kind of ridiculous talk, Mr. Holmes," he said. "If you can catch the guy, catch him, and let me know when you do."
"Certainly," said Holmes, stepping over and turning the key in the door. "I let you know, then, that I have caught him!"
"Of course," said Holmes, walking over and locking the door. "I want you to know that I've caught him!"
"What! where?" shouted Mr. Windibank, turning white to his lips, and glancing about him like a rat in a trap.
"What! Where?" shouted Mr. Windibank, going pale to his lips and looking around like a rat caught in a trap.
"Oh, it won't do—really it won't," said Holmes, suavely. "There is no possible getting out of it, Mr. Windibank. It is quite too transparent, and it was a very bad compliment when you said that it was impossible for me to solve so simple a question. That's right! Sit down, and let us talk it over."
"Oh, that won’t work—really, it won’t," Holmes said smoothly. "There's no way around this, Mr. Windibank. It's way too obvious, and it was a really poor compliment when you said it was impossible for me to solve such a simple question. That’s right! Have a seat, and let’s discuss it."
Our visitor collapsed into a chair, with a ghastly face, and a glitter of moisture on his brow. "It—it's not actionable," he stammered.
Our visitor slumped into a chair, looking pale, with a sheen of sweat on his forehead. "I-it's not actionable," he stammered.
"I am very much afraid that it is not; but between ourselves, Windibank, it was as cruel, and selfish, and heartless a trick in a petty way as ever came before me. Now, let me just run over the course of events, and you will contradict me if I go wrong."
"I’m really afraid that it’s not; but between you and me, Windibank, it was as cruel, selfish, and heartless a trick in a petty way as I’ve ever seen. Now, let me quickly recap what happened, and you can correct me if I get anything wrong."
The man sat huddled up in his chair, with his head sunk upon his breast, like one who is utterly crushed. Holmes stuck his feet up on the corner of the mantelpiece, and, leaning back with his hands in his pockets, began talking, rather to himself, as it seemed, than to us.
The man sat curled up in his chair, with his head drooping on his chest, like someone who is completely defeated. Holmes propped his feet up on the edge of the mantelpiece and, leaning back with his hands in his pockets, started talking, more to himself than to us.
"The man married a woman very much older than himself for her money," said he, "and he enjoyed the use of the money of the daughter as long as she lived with them. It was a considerable sum, for people in their position, and the loss of it would have made a serious difference. It was worth an effort to preserve it. The daughter was of a good, amiable disposition, but affectionate and warm-hearted in her ways, so that it was evident that with her fair personal advantages, and her little income, she would not be allowed to remain single long. Now her marriage would mean, of course, the loss of a hundred a year, so what does her stepfather do to prevent it? He takes the obvious course of keeping her at home, and forbidding her to seek the company of people of her own age. But soon he found that that would not answer forever. She became restive, insisted upon her rights, and finally announced her positive intention of going to a certain ball. What does her clever stepfather do then? He conceives an idea more creditable to his head than to his heart. With the connivance and assistance of his wife, he disguised himself, covered those keen eyes with tinted glasses masked the face with a mustache and a pair of bushy whiskers, sunk that clear voice into an insinuating whisper, and doubly secure on account of the girl's short sight, he appears as Mr. Hosmer Angel, and keeps off other lovers by making love himself."
"The guy married a woman who was much older than him for her money," he said, "and he enjoyed the money from her daughter as long as she lived with them. It was a significant amount for people in their situation, and losing it would make a big difference. It was worth the effort to keep it. The daughter had a great personality—she was kind and warm-hearted—so it was clear that with her looks and small income, she wouldn't stay single for long. Now, her marrying would mean losing a hundred a year, so what does her stepdad do to stop that? He takes the obvious route of keeping her at home and forbidding her from hanging out with people her own age. But soon, he realized that plan wouldn’t work forever. She became restless, demanded her rights, and finally announced her firm intention to go to a certain ball. So what does her clever stepdad do then? He comes up with a scheme that's more clever than compassionate. With the help of his wife, he disguised himself, covered his sharp eyes with tinted glasses, masked his face with a mustache and bushy whiskers, changed his clear voice into a soft whisper, and because the girl could barely see, he appeared as Mr. Hosmer Angel, blocking other suitors by putting the moves on her himself."
"It was only a joke at first," groaned our visitor. "We never thought that she would have been so carried away."
"It was just a joke at first," our visitor complained. "We never thought she would get so carried away."
"Very likely not. However that may be, the young lady was very decidedly carried away, and having quite made up her mind that her stepfather was in France, the suspicion of treachery never for an instant entered her mind. She was flattered by the gentleman's attentions, and the effect was increased by the loudly expressed admiration of her mother. Then Mr. Angel began to call, for it was obvious that the matter should be pushed as far as if would go, if a real effect were to be produced. There were meetings, and an engagement, which would finally secure the girl's affections from turning toward anyone else. But the deception could not be kept up forever. These pretended journeys to France were rather cumbrous. The thing to do was clearly to bring the business to an end in such a dramatic manner that it would leave a permanent impression upon the young lady's mind, and prevent her from looking upon any other suitor for some time to come. Hence those vows of fidelity exacted upon a Testament, and hence also the allusions to a possibility of something happening on the very morning of the wedding. James Windibank wished Miss Sutherland to be so bound to Hosmer Angel, and so uncertain as to his fate, that for ten years to come, at any rate, she would not listen to another man. As far as the church door he brought her, and then, as he could go no farther, he conveniently vanished away by the old trick of stepping in at one door of a four-wheeler and out at the other. I think that that was the chain of events, Mr. Windibank!"
"Very likely not. However, the young lady was completely swept away, and having made up her mind that her stepfather was in France, the thought of betrayal never crossed her mind. She was flattered by the gentleman's attention, and her mother's loud admiration only added to it. Then Mr. Angel began to visit, as it was clear that they needed to push things forward if they wanted to have a real impact. There were meetings, and an engagement, which would ensure that the girl wouldn't turn her affections to anyone else. But the deception couldn’t last forever. These fake trips to France were quite clumsy. The plan was clearly to end this in such a dramatic way that it would leave a lasting impression on the young lady and keep her from considering another suitor for a while. Hence those vows of fidelity sworn on a Testament, and also the hints about something happening on the very morning of the wedding. James Windibank wanted Miss Sutherland to be so tied to Hosmer Angel, and so uncertain about his fate, that she wouldn't listen to another man for at least ten years. He took her as far as the church door, and then, since he couldn’t go any further, he conveniently disappeared by the old trick of getting into one side of a cab and out the other. I believe that was the sequence of events, Mr. Windibank!"
Our visitor had recovered something of his assurance while Holmes had been talking, and he rose from his chair now with a cold sneer upon his pale face.
Our visitor had regained some of his confidence while Holmes was speaking, and he now stood up from his chair with a cold sneer on his pale face.
"It may be so, or it may not, Mr. Holmes," said he; "but if you are so very sharp you ought to be sharp enough to know that it is you who are breaking the law now, and not me. I have done nothing actionable from the first, but as long as you keep that door locked you lay yourself open to an action for assault and illegal constraint."
"It could be true, or it might not be, Mr. Holmes," he said. "But if you're as clever as everyone says, you should realize that it's you who are breaking the law right now, not me. I haven't done anything wrong from the start, but as long as you keep that door locked, you're exposing yourself to a lawsuit for assault and unlawful restraint."
"The law cannot, as you say, touch you," said Holmes, unlocking and throwing open the door, "yet there never was a man who deserved punishment more. If the young lady has a brother or a friend, he ought to lay a whip across your shoulders. By Jove!" he continued, flushing up at the sight of the bitter sneer upon the man's face, "it is not part of my duties to my client, but here's a hunting crop handy, and I think I shall just treat myself to—" He took two swift steps to the whip, but before he could grasp it there was a wild clatter of steps upon the stairs, the heavy hall door banged, and from the window we could see Mr. James Windibank running at the top of his speed down the road.
"The law can't, as you say, touch you," said Holmes, unlocking and throwing open the door, "but there has never been a man who deserved punishment more. If the young lady has a brother or a friend, he should give you a good thrashing. By Jove!" he continued, flushing at the sight of the bitter sneer on the man's face, "it's not part of my duties to my client, but here's a riding crop nearby, and I think I might just treat myself to—" He took two quick steps toward the whip, but before he could grab it, there was a wild clatter of footsteps on the stairs, the heavy hall door slammed, and from the window, we could see Mr. James Windibank running at top speed down the road.
"There's a cold-blooded scoundrel!" said Holmes, laughing as he threw himself down into his chair once more. "That fellow will rise from crime to crime until he does something very bad and ends on a gallows. The case has, in some respects, been not entirely devoid of interest."
"There's a heartless crook!" said Holmes, chuckling as he sat back down in his chair again. "That guy will keep committing crimes until he does something really serious and ends up on the gallows. The case has, in some ways, been quite interesting."
"I cannot now entirely see all the steps of your reasoning," I remarked.
"I can't fully follow all the steps of your reasoning right now," I said.
"Well, of course it was obvious from the first that this Mr. Hosmer Angel must have some strong object for his curious conduct, and it was equally clear that the only man who really profited by the incident, as far as we could see, was the stepfather. Then the fact that the two men were never together, but that the one always appeared when the other was away, was suggestive. So were the tinted spectacles and the curious voice, which both hinted at a disguise, as did the bushy whiskers. My suspicions were all confirmed by his peculiar action in typewriting his signature, which, of course, inferred that his handwriting was so familiar to her that she would recognize even the smallest sample of it. You see all these isolated facts, together with many minor ones, all pointed in the same direction."
"Well, it was pretty clear from the start that Mr. Hosmer Angel must have some strong reason for his strange behavior, and it was just as obvious that the only person who really gained from the situation, as far as we could tell, was the stepfather. The fact that the two men were never seen together, and that one always showed up when the other was gone, was also telling. So were the tinted glasses and the strange voice, which both suggested he was in disguise, along with the bushy sideburns. My suspicions were confirmed by his odd choice to type his signature, which indicated that his handwriting was so familiar to her that she would recognize even the smallest piece of it. All these individual facts, along with many smaller details, pointed in the same direction."
"And how did you verify them?"
"And how did you check them?"
"Having once spotted my man, it was easy to get corroboration. I knew the firm for which this man worked. Having taken the printed description, I eliminated everything from it which could be the result of a disguise,—the whiskers, the glasses, the voice,—and I sent it to the firm with a request that they would inform me whether it answered to the description of any of their travelers. I had already noticed the peculiarities of the typewriter, and I wrote to the man himself at his business address, asking him if he would come here. As I expected, his reply was typewritten, and revealed the same trivial but characteristic defects. The same post brought me a letter from Westhouse & Marbank, of Fenchurch Street, to say that the description tallied in every respect with that of their employee, James Windibank. Voilà tout!"
"Once I spotted my guy, it was easy to get confirmation. I knew the company he worked for. After taking the printed description, I removed anything that could have been part of a disguise—like the facial hair, glasses, and voice—and I sent it to the company, asking them to let me know if it matched any of their employees. I had already noticed the unique features of the typewriter, so I wrote to the guy at his work address, asking if he could come here. As I expected, his response was typed and showed the same minor but distinctive flaws. The same mail brought me a letter from Westhouse & Marbank on Fenchurch Street, saying that the description matched perfectly with their employee, James Windibank. Voilà tout!"
"And Miss Sutherland?"
"And what about Miss Sutherland?"
"If I tell her she will not believe me. You may remember the old Persian saying, 'There is danger for him who taketh the tiger cub, and danger also for whoso snatcheth a delusion from a woman.' There is as much sense in Hafiz as in Horace, and as much knowledge of the world."
"If I tell her, she won't believe me. You might recall the old Persian saying, 'There's danger for anyone who takes a tiger cub, and danger too for anyone who snatches a delusion from a woman.' Hafiz makes as much sense as Horace does, and he has just as much understanding of the world."
A Scandal in Bohemia
I
To Sherlock Holmes she is always the woman. I have seldom heard him mention her under any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the whole of her sex. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Irene Adler. All emotions, and that one particularly, were abhorrent to his cold, precise but admirably balanced mind. He was, I take it, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen; but as a lover, he would have placed himself in a false position. He never spoke of the softer passions, save with a gibe and a sneer. They were admirable things for the observer—excellent for drawing the veil from men's motives and actions. But for the trained reasoner to admit such intrusions into his own delicate and finely adjusted temperament was to introduce a distracting factor which might throw a doubt upon all his mental results. Grit in a sensitive instrument, or a crack in one of his own high-power lenses, would not be more disturbing that a strong emotion in a nature such as his. And yet there was but one woman to him, and that woman was the late Irene Adler, of dubious and questionable memory.
To Sherlock Holmes, she is always the woman. I have rarely heard him refer to her by any other name. In his eyes, she overshadows and dominates all other women. It wasn’t that he felt any emotions similar to love for Irene Adler. All emotions, especially that one, were repugnant to his cold, precise, but impressively balanced mind. He was, I would say, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine the world has ever seen; but as a lover, he would have put himself in a compromised position. He never talked about softer emotions, except to make a joke or a mocking comment. They were great for an observer—excellent for uncovering men’s motives and actions. But for a trained reasoner to allow such distractions into his delicate and finely tuned temperament would introduce a variable that could cast doubt on all his mental conclusions. Grit in a sensitive instrument, or a crack in one of his high-powered lenses, would not be more unsettling than a strong emotion in a nature like his. And yet, there was only one woman for him, and that woman was the late Irene Adler, of questionable and dubious memory.
I had seen little of Holmes lately. My marriage had drifted us away from each other. My own complete happiness, and the home-centered interests which rise up around the man who first finds himself master of his own establishment, were sufficient to absorb all my attention; while Holmes, who loathed every form of society with his whole Bohemian soul, remained in our lodgings in Baker Street, buried among his old books, and alternating from week to week between cocaine and ambition, the drowsiness of the drug and the fierce energy of his own keen nature. He was still, as ever, deeply attracted by the study of crime, and occupied his immense faculties and extraordinary powers of observation in following out those clews, and clearing up those mysteries, which had been abandoned as hopeless by the official police. From time to time I heard some vague account of his doings; of his summons to Odessa in the case of the Trepoff murder, of his clearing up of the singular tragedy of the Atkinson brothers at Trincomalee, and finally of the mission which he had accomplished so delicately and successfully for the reigning family of Holland. Beyond these signs of his activity, however, which I merely shared with all the readers of the daily press, I knew little of my former friend and companion.
I hadn't seen much of Holmes lately. My marriage had pulled us apart. My complete happiness and the home-focused interests that come with being the master of my own home kept me fully occupied, while Holmes, who detested all forms of society with his whole Bohemian spirit, stayed in our flat on Baker Street, immersed in his old books, alternating week by week between cocaine and ambition, the lethargy of the drug and the fierce energy of his sharp nature. He remained, as always, deeply fascinated by the study of crime, using his incredible skills and extraordinary powers of observation to follow clues and solve the mysteries that the official police had given up on. Occasionally, I heard vague details about his activities; his trip to Odessa for the Trepoff murder case, his resolution of the strange tragedy involving the Atkinson brothers at Trincomalee, and finally, the delicate and successful mission he undertook for the royal family of Holland. Aside from these glimpses into his life, which I shared with any reader of the newspapers, I knew little about my former friend and companion.
One night—it was on the 20th of March, 1888—I was returning from a journey to a patient (for I had now returned to civil practice), when my way led me through Baker Street. As I passed the well-remembered door, which must always be associated in my mind with my wooing, and with the dark incidents of the Study in Scarlet, I was seized with a keen desire to see Holmes again, and to know how he was employing his extraordinary powers. His rooms were brilliantly lighted, and even as I looked up, I saw his tall, spare figure pass twice in a dark silhouette against the blind. He was pacing the room swiftly, eagerly, with his head sunk upon his chest, and his hands clasped behind him. To me, who knew his every mood and habit, his attitude and manner told their own story. He was at work again. He had risen out of his drug-created dreams, and was hot upon the scent of some new problem. I rang the bell, and was shown up to the chamber which had formerly been in part my own.
One night—it was March 20, 1888—I was coming back from seeing a patient (since I had returned to regular practice), when my route took me through Baker Street. As I walked past the familiar door, which I always associate with my courtship and the dark events of A Study in Scarlet, I was hit with a strong urge to see Holmes again and find out how he was using his incredible talents. His rooms were brightly lit, and just as I looked up, I saw his tall, lean figure pass by twice in shadow against the blind. He was pacing the room quickly, eagerly, with his head bowed and his hands clasped behind his back. To me, who knew his every mood and habit, his posture and behavior told their own story. He was working again. He had emerged from his drug-induced dreams and was hot on the trail of a new problem. I rang the bell and was shown into the room that had once been partly mine.
His manner was not effusive. It seldom was; but he was glad, I think, to see me. With hardly a word spoken, but with a kindly eye, he waved me to an armchair, threw across his case of cigars, and indicated a spirit case and a gasogene in the corner. Then he stood before the fire, and looked me over in his singular introspective fashion.
His demeanor wasn't overly warm. It usually wasn't; but I believe he was happy to see me. Without saying much, but with a friendly look, he gestured for me to take a seat in the armchair, tossed over his cigar case, and pointed out a whiskey cabinet and a soda maker in the corner. Then he stood by the fireplace and examined me in his unique, thoughtful way.
"Wedlock suits you," he remarked. "I think, Watson, that you have put on seven and a half pounds since I saw you."
"Marriage looks good on you," he said. "I believe, Watson, that you've gained seven and a half pounds since the last time I saw you."
"Seven," I answered.
"Seven," I replied.
"Indeed, I should have thought a little more. Just a trifle more, I fancy, Watson. And in practice again, I observe. You did not tell me that you intended to go into harness."
"Honestly, I should have thought a bit more. Just a little more, I think, Watson. And I see it in practice again. You didn’t mention that you planned to get involved."
"Then how do you know?"
"How do you know then?"
"I see it, I deduce it. How do I know that you have been getting yourself very wet lately, and that you have a most clumsy and careless servant girl?"
"I see it, I figure it out. How do I know that you've been getting really wet lately, and that you have a pretty clumsy and careless housekeeper?"
"My dear Holmes," said I, "this is too much. You would certainly have been burned had you lived a few centuries ago. It is true that I had a country walk on Thursday and came home in a dreadful mess; but as I have changed my clothes, I can't imagine how you deduce it. As to Mary Jane, she is incorrigible, and my wife has given her notice; but there again I fail to see how you work it out."
"My dear Holmes," I said, "this is just too much. You definitely would have been burned at the stake if you had lived a few centuries ago. It's true that I went for a walk in the country on Thursday and came home in a terrible state; but now that I’ve changed my clothes, I can’t understand how you figured it out. As for Mary Jane, she’s impossible, and my wife has given her notice; but again, I don’t see how you came to that conclusion."
He chuckled to himself and rubbed his long nervous hands together.
He chuckled to himself and rubbed his long, anxious hands together.
"It is simplicity itself," said he, "my eyes tell me that on the inside of your left shoe, just where the firelight strikes it, the leather is scored by six almost parallel cuts. Obviously they have been caused by some one who has very carelessly scraped round the edges of the sole in order to remove crusted mud from it. Hence, you see, my double deduction that you had been out in vile weather, and that you had a particularly malignant boot-slicking specimen of the London slavey. As to your practice, if a gentleman walks into my rooms, smelling of iodoform, with a black mark of nitrate of silver upon his right forefinger, and a bulge on the side of his top hat to show where he has secreted his stethoscope, I must be dull indeed if I do not pronounce him to be an active member of the medical profession."
"It's really simple," he said, "my eyes tell me that on the inside of your left shoe, right where the firelight hits it, the leather is marked by six nearly parallel cuts. Clearly, these were made by someone who carelessly scraped around the edges of the sole to remove mud. So, you see, my conclusion is that you've been out in terrible weather and that you encountered a particularly unhelpful boot-black in London. As for your occupation, if a gentleman walks into my rooms smelling of iodoform, with a black mark of nitrate of silver on his right forefinger, and a bulge on the side of his top hat where he's hidden his stethoscope, I would have to be quite slow if I didn't conclude that he is actively practicing medicine."
I could not help laughing at the ease with which he, explained his process of deduction. "When I hear you give your reasons," I remarked, "the thing always appears to me so ridiculously simple that I could easily do it myself, though at each successive instance of your reasoning I am baffled, until you explain your process. And yet, I believe that my eyes are as good as yours."
I couldn't help but laugh at how easily he explained his reasoning process. "Whenever I hear you lay out your reasons," I said, "it always seems so ridiculously simple that I feel like I could do it myself. But every time you reason through something, I'm totally confused until you break it down. And still, I believe my eyesight is just as good as yours."
"Quite so," he answered, lighting a cigarette, and throwing himself down into an armchair. "You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear. For example, you have frequently seen the steps which lead up from the hall to this room."
"Exactly," he said, lighting a cigarette and collapsing into an armchair. "You see, but you don't really notice. The difference is obvious. For instance, you’ve often seen the steps that lead up from the hallway to this room."
"Frequently."
"Often."
"How often?"
"How frequently?"
"Well, some hundreds of times."
"Well, a few hundred times."
"Then how many are there?"
"Then how many are there?"
"How many? I don't know."
"How many? I have no idea."
"Quite so! You have not observed. And yet you have seen. That is just my point. Now, I know there are seventeen steps, because I have both seen and observed. By the way, since you are interested in these little problems, and since you are good enough to chronicle one or two of my trifling experiences, you may be interested in this." He threw over a sheet of thick pink-tinted note paper which had been lying open upon the table. "It came by the last post," said he. "Read it aloud."
"Exactly! You haven't noticed. And yet you have seen. That’s exactly my point. I know there are seventeen steps because I’ve both seen and noticed. By the way, since you’re interested in these little puzzles, and since you’re nice enough to document a couple of my minor experiences, you might find this interesting." He tossed over a sheet of thick pink-tinted notepaper that had been lying open on the table. "It arrived in the last mail," he said. "Read it out loud."
The note was undated, and without either signature or address.
The note had no date, and it was missing both a signature and an address.
"There will call upon you to-night, at a quarter to eight o'clock," it said, "a gentleman who desires to consult you upon a matter of the very deepest moment. Your recent services to one of the royal houses of Europe have shown that you are one who may safely be trusted with matters which are of an importance which can hardly be exaggerated. This account of you we have from all quarters received. Be in your chamber, then, at that hour, and do not take it amiss if your visitor wears a mask."
"There will be a gentleman visiting you tonight at a quarter to eight," it said, "who wants to consult with you about a matter of utmost importance. Your recent work for one of the royal families in Europe has shown that you can be trusted with issues of significant consequence. We've heard this about you from everywhere. So, please be in your room at that time, and don't be surprised if your visitor is wearing a mask."
"This is indeed a mystery," I remarked. "What do you imagine that it means?"
"This is definitely a mystery," I said. "What do you think it means?"
"I have no data yet. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. But the note itself—what do you deduce from it?"
"I don’t have any data yet. It’s a big mistake to come up with theories before you have data. Gradually, people start to bend facts to match their theories instead of adjusting their theories to fit the facts. But about the note itself—what do you conclude from it?"
I carefully examined the writing, and the paper upon which it was written.
I closely examined the writing and the paper it was written on.
"The man who wrote it was presumably well to do," I remarked, endeavoring to imitate my companion's processes. "Such paper could not be bought under half a crown a packet. It is peculiarly strong and stiff."
"The guy who wrote this was probably pretty well-off," I said, trying to mimic my friend's thought process. "You couldn't buy paper like this for less than two and six a packet. It's really strong and stiff."
"Peculiar—that is the very word," said Holmes. "It is not an English paper at all. Hold it up to the light"
"Peculiar—that’s the perfect word," said Holmes. "This isn’t an English paper at all. Hold it up to the light."
I did so, and saw a large E with a small g, a P and a large G with a small t woven into the texture of the paper.
I did that, and saw a big E with a small g, a P, and a big G with a small t woven into the texture of the paper.
"What do you make of that?" asked Holmes.
"What do you think about that?" asked Holmes.
"The name of the maker, no doubt; or his monogram, rather."
"The maker's name, that's for sure; or maybe his monogram, actually."
"Not all. The G with the small t stands for 'Gesellschaft,' which is the German for 'Company.' It is a customary contraction like our 'Co.' P, of course, stands for 'Papier.' Now for the Eg. Let us glance at our 'Continental Gazetteer." He took down a heavy brown volume from his shelves. "Eglow, Eglonitz—here we are, Egria. It is in a German-speaking country—in Bohemia, not far from Carlsbad. 'Remarkable as being the scene of the death of Wallenstein, and for its numerous glass factories and paper mills.' Ha! ha! my boy, what do you make of that?" His eyes sparkled, and he sent up a great blue triumphant cloud from his cigarette.
"Not all. The G with the small t stands for 'Gesellschaft,' which is German for 'Company.' It’s a standard abbreviation, similar to our 'Co.' P obviously stands for 'Papier.' Now for the Eg. Let’s take a look at our 'Continental Gazetteer.'” He pulled a large brown book from his shelves. “Eglow, Eglonitz—here we go, Egria. It’s in a German-speaking country—in Bohemia, not far from Carlsbad. 'Notable for being the place where Wallenstein died, and for its many glass factories and paper mills.' Ha! ha! my boy, what do you think of that?" His eyes sparkled, and he exhaled a big blue triumphant cloud from his cigarette.
"The paper was made in Bohemia," I said.
"The paper was made in Bohemia," I said.
"Precisely. And the man who wrote the note is a German. Do you note the peculiar construction of the sentence—'This account of you we have from all quarters received'? A Frenchman or Russian could not have written that. It is the German who is so uncourteous to his verbs. It only remains, therefore, to discover what is wanted by this German who writes upon Bohemian paper, and prefers wearing a mask to showing his face. And here he comes, if I am not mistaken, to resolve all our doubts."
"Exactly. And the person who wrote the note is a German. Do you notice the strange way the sentence is structured—'This account of you we have received from all quarters'? A Frenchman or a Russian couldn't have written that. It's the German who is so rude with his verbs. So now we just need to figure out what this German wants, who writes on Bohemian paper and prefers to wear a mask instead of showing his face. And here he comes, if I'm not mistaken, to clear up all our questions."
As he spoke there was the sharp sound of horses' hoofs and grating wheels against the curb, followed by a sharp pull at the bell. Holmes whistled.
As he spoke, there was the loud sound of horses' hooves and squeaky wheels hitting the curb, followed by a hard pull on the bell. Holmes whistled.
"A pair, by the sound," said he. "Yes," he continued, glancing out of the window. "A nice little brougham and a pair of beauties. A hundred and fifty guineas apiece. There's money in this case, Watson, if there is nothing else."
"A couple, by the sound," he said. "Yeah," he went on, looking out the window. "A nice little carriage and a couple of beauties. One hundred and fifty guineas each. There's money to be made in this case, Watson, if nothing else."
"I think I had better go, Holmes."
"I think I should probably head out, Holmes."
"Not a bit, doctor. Stay where you are. I am lost without my Boswell. And this promises to be interesting. It would be a pity to miss it."
"Not at all, doctor. Stay right there. I'm lost without my Boswell. And this looks like it’s going to be interesting. It would be a shame to miss it."
"But your client—"
"But your client..."
"Never mind him. I may want your help, and so may he. Here he comes. Sit down in that armchair, doctor, and give us your best attention."
"Forget about him. I might need your help, and he might too. Here he comes. Take a seat in that armchair, doctor, and focus on us."
A slow and heavy step, which had been heard upon the stairs and in the passage, paused immediately outside the door. Then there was a loud and authoritative tap.
A slow and heavy step, which had been heard on the stairs and in the hallway, stopped right outside the door. Then there was a loud and commanding knock.
"Come in!" said Holmes.
"Come in!" said Holmes.
A man entered who could hardly have been less than six feet six inches in height, with the chest and limbs of a Hercules. His dress was rich with a richness which would, in England, be looked upon as akin to bad taste. Heavy bands of astrakhan were slashed across the sleeves and front of his double-breasted coat, while the deep blue cloak which was thrown over his shoulders was lined with flame-colored silk, and secured at the neck with a brooch which consisted of a single flaming beryl. Boots which extended halfway up his calves, and which were trimmed at the tops with rich brown fur, completed the impression of barbaric opulence which was suggested by his whole appearance. He carried a broad-brimmed hat in his hand, while he wore across the upper part of his face, extending down past the cheek-bones, a black visard mask, which he had apparently adjusted that very moment, for his hand was still raised to it as he entered. From the lower part of the face he appeared to be a man of strong character, with a thick, hanging lip, and a long, straight chin, suggestive of resolution pushed to the length of obstinacy.
A man walked in who must have been at least six feet six inches tall, with the build of a Hercules. His clothing was lavish in a way that, in England, would be seen as bordering on tacky. Heavy bands of astrakhan were slashed across the sleeves and front of his double-breasted coat, while the deep blue cloak draped over his shoulders was lined with bright orange silk and fastened at the neck with a brooch made from a single blazing beryl. His boots reached halfway up his calves and were trimmed with rich brown fur, adding to the vibe of extravagant luxury that his entire appearance conveyed. He held a wide-brimmed hat in his hand, while a black visor mask covered the upper part of his face, extending down past his cheekbones. He seemed to have just adjusted it as he entered since his hand was still raised to it. From the lower half of his face, he looked like a man of strong character, with a thick, sagging lip, and a long, straight chin that suggested determination that bordered on stubbornness.
"You had my note?" he asked, with a deep, harsh voice and a strongly marked German accent. "I told you that I would call." He looked from one to the other of us, as if uncertain which to address.
"You got my note?" he asked, his voice deep and rough, with a thick German accent. "I told you I would call." He looked back and forth between us, as if unsure who to speak to.
"Pray take a seat," said Holmes. "This is my friend and colleague, Doctor Watson, who is occasionally good enough to help me in my cases. Whom have I the honor to address?"
"Please have a seat," said Holmes. "This is my friend and colleague, Dr. Watson, who sometimes helps me with my cases. Who do I have the pleasure of addressing?"
"You may address me as the Count von Kramm, a Bohemian nobleman. I understand that this gentleman, your friend, is a man of honor and discretion, whom I may trust with a matter of the most extreme importance. If not, I should much prefer to communicate with you alone."
"You can call me Count von Kramm, a nobleman from Bohemia. I understand that your friend here is a man of honor and good judgment, someone I can trust with a matter of the utmost importance. If that's not the case, I'd prefer to speak with you alone."
I rose to go, but Holmes caught me by the wrist and pushed me back into my chair. "It is both, or none," said he. "You may say before this gentleman anything which you may say to me."
I stood up to leave, but Holmes grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into my chair. "It's both, or neither," he said. "You can say anything to this guy that you would say to me."
The count shrugged his broad shoulders. "Then I must begin," said he, "by binding you both to absolute secrecy for two years; at the end of that time the matter will be of no importance. At present it is not too much to say that it is of such weight that it may have an influence upon European history."
The count shrugged his broad shoulders. "Then I need to start," he said, "by asking you both to keep this completely secret for two years; after that, it won't matter anymore. Right now, it's safe to say that it's significant enough that it could impact European history."
"I promise," said Holmes.
"I promise," Holmes said.
"And I."
"And me."
"You will excuse this mask," continued our strange visitor. "The august person who employs me wishes his agent to be unknown to you, and I may confess at once that the title by which I have just called myself is not exactly my own."
"You'll forgive this disguise," our unusual guest continued. "The important person who hired me wants his agent to remain unknown to you, and I can admit right away that the name I just used isn't really mine."
"I was aware of it," said Holmes, dryly.
"I knew about it," Holmes said flatly.
"The circumstances are of great delicacy, and every precaution has to be taken to quench what might grow to be an immense scandal, and seriously compromise one of the reigning families of Europe. To speak plainly, the matter implicates the great House of Ormstein, hereditary kings of Bohemia."
"The situation is very sensitive, and every precaution must be taken to prevent what could become a huge scandal that might seriously compromise one of the ruling families of Europe. To put it plainly, this matter involves the powerful House of Ormstein, the hereditary kings of Bohemia."
"I was also aware of that," murmured Holmes, settling himself down in his armchair, and closing his eyes.
"I was aware of that too," murmured Holmes, settling into his armchair and closing his eyes.
Our visitor glanced with some apparent surprise at the languid, lounging figure of the man who had been, no doubt, depicted to him as the most incisive reasoner and most energetic agent in Europe. Holmes slowly reopened his eyes and looked impatiently at his gigantic client.
Our visitor looked surprised at the lazy, relaxed figure of the man who had certainly been described to him as the sharpest thinker and most active player in Europe. Holmes slowly opened his eyes again and looked impatiently at his huge client.
"If your majesty would condescend to state your case," he remarked, "I should be better able to advise you."
"If your majesty could kindly explain your situation," he said, "I would be better able to help you."
The man sprung from his chair, and paced up and down the room in uncontrollable agitation. Then, with a gesture of desperation, he tore the mask from his face and hurled it upon the ground.
The man sprang from his chair and paced back and forth in the room, unable to contain his agitation. Then, in a fit of desperation, he ripped the mask off his face and threw it to the ground.
"You are right," he cried, "I am the king. Why should I attempt to conceal it?"
"You’re right," he exclaimed, "I am the king. Why should I try to hide it?"
"Why, indeed?" murmured Holmes. "Your majesty had not spoken before I was aware that I was addressing Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein, Grand Duke of Cassel-Felstein, and hereditary King of Bohemia."
"Why, indeed?" whispered Holmes. "Your majesty hadn’t said anything before I realized that I was speaking to Wilhelm Gottsreich Sigismond von Ormstein, Grand Duke of Cassel-Felstein, and the rightful King of Bohemia."
"But you can understand," said our strange visitor, sitting down once more and passing his hand over his high, white forehead, "you can understand that I am not accustomed to doing such business in my own person. Yet the matter was so delicate that I could not confide it to an agent without putting myself in his power. I have come incognito from Prague for the purpose of consulting you."
"But you can see," said our unusual guest, sitting down again and running his hand over his high, white forehead, "you can see that I'm not used to handling such matters myself. Still, the situation was so sensitive that I couldn't trust it to an agent without putting myself at their mercy. I've come anonymously from Prague to consult with you."
"Then, pray consult," said Holmes, shutting his eyes once more.
"Then, please consult," said Holmes, closing his eyes again.
"The facts are briefly these: Some five years ago, during a lengthy visit to Warsaw, I made the acquaintance of the well-known adventuress Irene Adler. The name is no doubt familiar to you."
"The facts are pretty simple: About five years ago, during a long visit to Warsaw, I met the famous adventuress Irene Adler. The name is probably familiar to you."
"Kindly look her up in my index, doctor," murmured Holmes, without opening his eyes. For many years he had adopted a system for docketing all paragraphs concerning men and things, so that it was difficult to name a subject or a person on which he could not at once furnish information. In this case I found her biography sandwiched in between that of a Hebrew rabbi and that of a staff commander who had written a monograph upon the deep-sea fishes.
"Please look her up in my index, doctor," Holmes murmured, keeping his eyes closed. For many years, he had developed a system for organizing all information about people and things, making it hard to mention a topic or person he couldn't quickly provide details about. In this instance, I found her biography nestled between that of a Jewish rabbi and that of a naval commander who had written a paper on deep-sea fish.
"Let me see!" said Holmes. "Hum! Born in New Jersey in the year 1858. Contralto—hum! La Scala—hum! Prima donna Imperial Opera of Warsaw—yes! Retired from operatic stage—ha! Living in London—quite so! Your majesty, as I understand, became entangled with this young person, wrote her some compromising letters, and is now desirous of getting those letters back."
"Let me take a look!" said Holmes. "Hmm! Born in New Jersey in 1858. Contralto—hmm! La Scala—hmm! Lead singer at the Imperial Opera of Warsaw—yes! Retired from the opera stage—ha! Living in London—right! Your majesty, if I understand correctly, got involved with this young woman, wrote her some compromising letters, and now wants to get those letters back."
"Precisely so. But how—"
"Exactly. But how—"
"Was there a secret marriage?"
"Was there a secret wedding?"
"None."
"None."
"No legal papers or certificates?"
"No legal documents or certificates?"
"None."
"None."
"Then I fail to follow your majesty. If this young person should produce her letters for blackmailing or other purposes, how is she to prove their authenticity?"
"Then I don't understand, Your Majesty. If this young person were to show her letters for blackmail or other reasons, how could she prove they're real?"
"There is the writing."
"Here is the writing."
"Pooh-pooh! Forgery."
"Whatever! It's a forgery."
"My private note paper."
"My personal notepad."
"Stolen."
"Stolen."
"My own seal."
"My personal seal."
"Imitated."
"Copied."
"My photograph."
"My pic."
"Bought."
"Purchased."
"We were both in the photograph."
"We were both in the photo."
"Oh, dear! That is very bad. Your majesty has indeed committed an indiscretion."
"Oh no! That's really not good. Your majesty has definitely made a mistake."
"I was mad—insane."
"I was furious—crazy."
"You have compromised yourself seriously."
"You've seriously compromised yourself."
"I was only crown prince then. I was young. I am but thirty now."
"I was just the crown prince back then. I was young. I'm only thirty now."
"It must be recovered."
"It needs to be recovered."
"We have tried and failed."
"We tried and failed."
"Your majesty must pay. It must be bought."
"Your majesty has to pay. It needs to be purchased."
"She will not sell."
"She won't sell."
"Stolen, then."
"Stolen, I guess."
"Five attempts have been made. Twice burglars in my pay ransacked her house. Once we diverted her luggage when she traveled. Twice she has been waylaid. There has been no result."
"Five attempts have been made. Twice, burglars working for me broke into her house. Once, we redirected her luggage while she was traveling. Twice, she was ambushed. There has been no outcome."
"No sign of it?"
"Any sign of it?"
"Absolutely none."
"Not at all."
Holmes laughed. "It is quite a pretty little problem," said he.
Holmes laughed. "It's a pretty little problem," he said.
"But a very serious one to me," returned the king, reproachfully.
"But it's very serious to me," the king replied, reproachfully.
"Very, indeed. And what does she propose to do with the photograph?"
"Very true. So, what does she plan to do with the photograph?"
"To ruin me."
"To destroy me."
"But how?"
"But how?"
"I am about to be married."
"I'm getting married soon."
"So I have heard."
"I've heard that."
"To Clotilde Lothman von Saxe-Meiningen, second daughter of the King of Scandinavia. You may know the strict principles of her family. She is herself the very soul of delicacy. A shadow of a doubt as to my conduct would bring the matter to an end."
"To Clotilde Lothman von Saxe-Meiningen, second daughter of the King of Scandinavia. You might be aware of the strict values of her family. She embodies absolute delicacy. Any hint of doubt about my behavior would put an end to everything."
"And Irene Adler?"
"And what about Irene Adler?"
"Threatens to send them the photograph. And she will do it. I know that she will do it. You do not know her, but she has a soul of steel. She has the face of the most beautiful of women and the mind of the most resolute of men. Rather than I should marry another woman, there are no lengths to which she would not go—none."
"She threatens to send them the photo. And she will do it. I know she will. You don't know her, but she has a heart of steel. She has the face of the most beautiful woman and the determination of the strongest man. There's nothing she wouldn't do—nothing—before she'd let me marry someone else."
"You are sure she has not sent it yet?"
"You’re sure she hasn’t sent it yet?"
"I am sure."
"I'm sure."
"And why?"
"What's the reason?"
"Because she has said that she would send it on the day when the betrothal was publicly proclaimed. That will be next Monday."
"Because she said she would send it on the day the engagement was publicly announced. That will be next Monday."
"Oh, then we have three days yet," said Holmes, with a yawn. "That is very fortunate, as I have one or two matters of importance to look into just at present. Your majesty will, of course, stay in London for the present?"
"Oh, so we have three days left," Holmes said, yawning. "That's convenient, since I have a couple of important things to deal with right now. Your majesty will, of course, stay in London for the time being?"
"Certainly. You will find me at the Langham, under the name of the Count von Kramm."
"Sure. You can find me at the Langham, under the name Count von Kramm."
"Then I shall drop you a line to let you know how we progress."
"Then I’ll send you a message to keep you updated on our progress."
"Pray do so; I shall be all anxiety."
"Please do that; I'll be really anxious."
"Then, as to money?"
"Then, what about money?"
"You have carte blanche."
"You have full freedom."
"Absolutely?"
"Are you serious?"
"I tell you that I would give one of the provinces of my kingdom to have that photograph."
"I’m telling you, I’d give up one of the provinces of my kingdom to have that photo."
"And for present expenses?"
"And what about current expenses?"
The king took a heavy chamois-leather bag from under his cloak, and laid it on the table.
The king pulled out a heavy chamois leather bag from under his cloak and placed it on the table.
"There are three hundred pounds in gold, and seven hundred in notes," he said.
"There are three hundred pounds in gold and seven hundred in cash," he said.
Holmes scribbled a receipt upon a sheet of his notebook, and handed it to him.
Holmes jotted down a receipt on a page of his notebook and gave it to him.
"And mademoiselle's address?" he asked.
"And what's Mademoiselle's address?" he asked.
"Is Briony Lodge, Serpentine Avenue, St. John's Wood."
"Is Briony Lodge, Serpentine Avenue, St. John's Wood."
Holmes took a note of it. "One other question," said he, thoughtfully. "Was the photograph a cabinet?"
Holmes made a note of it. "One more question," he said, thoughtfully. "Was the photograph a cabinet?"
"It was."
"It was."
"Then, good-night, your majesty, and I trust that we shall soon have some good news for you. And good-night, Watson," he added, as the wheels of the royal brougham rolled down the street. "If you will be good enough to call to-morrow afternoon, at three o'clock, I should like to chat this little matter over with you."
"Good night, your majesty. I hope we’ll have some good news for you soon. And good night, Watson," he continued, as the royal carriage rolled down the street. "If you could come by tomorrow afternoon at three o'clock, I'd like to discuss this little matter with you."
II
At three o'clock precisely I was at Baker Street, but Holmes had not yet returned. The landlady informed me that he had left the house shortly after eight o'clock in the morning. I sat down beside the fire, however, with the intention of awaiting him, however long he might be. I was already deeply interested in his inquiry, for, though it was surrounded by none of the grim and strange features which were associated with the two crimes which I have already recorded, still, the nature of the case and the exalted station of his client gave it a character of its own. Indeed, apart from the nature of the investigation which my friend had on hand, there was something in his masterly grasp of a situation, and his keen, incisive reasoning, which made it a pleasure to me to study his system of work, and to follow the quick, subtle methods by which he disentangled the most inextricable mysteries. So accustomed was I to his invariable success that the very possibility of his failing had ceased to enter into my head.
At exactly three o'clock, I arrived at Baker Street, but Holmes still hadn't come back. The landlady told me he had left the house shortly after eight in the morning. I settled beside the fire, planning to wait for him, no matter how long it took. I was already quite intrigued by his investigation because, although it didn't involve the grim and strange elements of the two cases I had previously documented, the nature of this case and the high status of his client gave it a unique significance. In fact, aside from the investigation itself, there was something about his masterful grasp of situations and his sharp, incisive reasoning that made it enjoyable for me to observe his working style and to follow the quick, clever methods he used to unravel the most complex mysteries. I had gotten so used to his constant success that the thought of him failing had completely left my mind.
It was close upon four before the door opened, and a drunken-looking groom, ill-kempt and side-whiskered, with an inflamed face and disreputable clothes, walked into the room. Accustomed as I was to my friend's amazing powers in the use of disguises, I had to look three times before I was certain that it was indeed he. With a nod he vanished into the bedroom, whence he emerged in five minutes tweed-suited and respectable, as of old. Putting his hands into his pockets, he stretched out his legs in front of the fire, and laughed heartily for some minutes.
It was just about four when the door opened, and a disheveled, drunken-looking man walked in, wearing shabby clothes and sporting unkempt sideburns along with a flushed face. Given my friend's incredible talent for disguises, I had to take a closer look three times before I was sure it was really him. He nodded and disappeared into the bedroom, from which he returned five minutes later dressed in a neat tweed suit, looking respectable as ever. He shoved his hands into his pockets, stretched his legs out in front of the fire, and laughed heartily for several minutes.
"Well, really!" he cried, and then he choked, and laughed again until he was obliged to lie back, limp and helpless, in the chair.
"Well, seriously!" he exclaimed, and then he choked, laughing again until he had to lean back, weak and powerless, in the chair.
"What is it?"
"What's that?"
"It's quite too funny. I am sure you could never guess how I employed my morning, or what I ended by doing."
"It's really funny. I'm sure you could never guess how I spent my morning or what I ended up doing."
"I can't imagine. I suppose that you have been watching the habits, and, perhaps, the house, of Miss Irene Adler."
"I can't imagine. I guess you've been keeping an eye on the habits and maybe the home of Miss Irene Adler."
"Quite so, but the sequel was rather unusual. I will tell you, however. I left the house a little after eight o'clock this morning in the character of a groom out of work. There is a wonderful sympathy and freemasonry among horsey men. Be one of them, and you will know all that there is to know. I soon found Briony Lodge. It is a bijou villa, with a garden at the back, but built out in the front right up to the road, two stories. Chubb lock to the door. Large sitting room on the right side, well furnished, with long windows almost to the floor, and those preposterous English window fasteners which a child could open. Behind there was nothing remarkable, save that the passage window could be reached from the top of the coach-house. I walked round it and examined it closely from every point of view, but without noting anything else of interest.
"Exactly, but the follow-up was quite strange. Let me explain. I left the house a little after eight this morning pretending to be an unemployed groom. There’s a great sense of camaraderie and connection among horse people. If you’re one of them, you’ll know everything there is to know. I quickly located Briony Lodge. It’s a charming little villa with a garden in the back, but it’s built right up to the road in front and has two stories. The door has a Chubb lock. The large sitting room on the right side is nicely furnished, with long windows almost to the floor and those ridiculous English window fasteners that a child could open. There wasn’t anything remarkable in the back, except that the passage window could be reached from the top of the coach-house. I walked around it and examined it closely from every angle but didn’t notice anything else of interest."
"I then lounged down the street, and found, as I expected, that there was a mews in a lane which runs down by one wall of the garden. I lent the hostlers a hand in rubbing down their horses, and I received in exchange twopence, a glass of half and half, two fills of shag tobacco, and as much information as I could desire about Miss Adler, to say nothing of half a dozen other people in the neighborhood, in whom I was not in the least interested, but whose biographies I was compelled to listen to."
"I strolled down the street and, as I expected, came across a mews in a lane beside one wall of the garden. I helped the stablehands by rubbing down their horses, and in return, I got two pence, a glass of half and half, two puffs of shag tobacco, and all the information I wanted about Miss Adler, not to mention a handful of others in the area that I couldn't care less about, but whose life stories I had to listen to."
"And what of Irene Adler?" I asked.
"And what about Irene Adler?" I asked.
"Oh, she has turned all the men's heads down in that part. She is the daintiest thing under a bonnet on this planet. So say the Serpentine Mews, to a man. She lives quietly, sings at concerts, drives out at five every day, and returns at seven sharp for dinner. Seldom goes out at other times, except when she sings. Has only one male visitor, but a good deal of him. He is dark, handsome, and dashing; never calls less than once a day, and often twice. He is a Mr. Godfrey Norton of the Inner Temple. See the advantages of a cabman as a confidant. They had driven him home a dozen times from Serpentine Mews, and knew all about him. When I had listened to all that they had to tell, I began to walk up and down near Briony Lodge once more, and to think over my plan of campaign.
"Oh, she's really caught the attention of all the men around there. She's the prettiest thing under a bonnet on this planet. That's what they say at Serpentine Mews, for sure. She lives a quiet life, sings at concerts, goes out for drives at five every day, and comes back at exactly seven for dinner. She rarely goes out at other times, except when she has a singing gig. She only has one male visitor, but he comes by a lot. He’s dark, handsome, and charming; he never visits less than once a day, and often shows up twice. He’s Mr. Godfrey Norton from the Inner Temple. You can see the benefits of having a cab driver as a confidant. They've taken him home from Serpentine Mews a dozen times and know all about him. After listening to everything they had to say, I started pacing near Briony Lodge again, thinking through my plan of action."
"This Godfrey Norton was evidently an important factor in the matter. He was a lawyer. That sounded ominous. What was the relation between them, and what the object of his repeated visits? Was she his client, his friend, or his mistress? If the former, she had probably transferred the photograph to his keeping. If the latter, it was less likely. On the issue of this question depended whether I should continue my work at Briony Lodge, or turn my attention to the gentleman's chambers in the Temple. It was a delicate point, and it widened the field of my inquiry. I fear that I bore you with these details, but I have to let you see my little difficulties, if you are to understand the situation."
"This Godfrey Norton was clearly a significant player in this matter. He was a lawyer. That sounded worrisome. What was their relationship, and what was the reason for his repeated visits? Was she his client, friend, or mistress? If she was his client, she probably gave him the photograph. If she was his mistress, that was less likely. The answer to this question would determine whether I continued my work at Briony Lodge or shifted my focus to the gentleman's offices in the Temple. It was a tricky situation, and it broadened the scope of my investigation. I hope I'm not boring you with these details, but I need you to understand my little challenges if you want to grasp the situation."
"I am following you closely," I answered.
"I’m following you closely," I replied.
"I was still balancing the matter in my mind, when a hansom cab drove up to Briony Lodge, and a gentleman sprung out. He was a remarkably handsome man, dark, aquiline, and mustached—evidently the man of whom I had heard. He appeared to be in a great hurry, shouted to the cabman to wait, and brushed past the maid who opened the door, with the air of a man who was thoroughly at home.
"I was still weighing the situation in my mind when a cab pulled up to Briony Lodge, and a man jumped out. He was incredibly handsome—dark, with a sharp nose and a mustache—definitely the guy I had heard about. He seemed to be in a rush, shouted for the cab driver to wait, and walked past the maid who opened the door like he owned the place."
"He was in the house about half an hour, and I could catch glimpses of him in the windows of the sitting room, pacing up and down, talking excitedly and waving his arms. Of her I could see nothing. Presently he emerged, looking even more flurried than before. As he stepped up to the cab, he pulled a gold watch from his pocket and looked at it earnestly. 'Drive like the devil!' he shouted, 'first to Gross & Hankey's in Regent Street, and then to the Church of St. Monica in the Edgeware Road. Half a guinea if you do it in twenty minutes!'
"He was in the house for about half an hour, and I could catch glimpses of him through the windows of the sitting room, pacing back and forth, talking excitedly and waving his arms. I couldn’t see her at all. Eventually, he came out, looking even more flustered than before. As he approached the cab, he pulled out a gold watch from his pocket and glanced at it intently. 'Drive like crazy!' he yelled, 'first to Gross & Hankey's on Regent Street, and then to the Church of St. Monica on the Edgware Road. I'll give you half a guinea if you can do it in twenty minutes!'
"Away they went, and I was just wondering whether I should not do well to follow them, when up the lane came a neat little landau, the coachman with his coat only half buttoned, and his tie under his ear, while all the tags of his harness were sticking out of the buckles. It hadn't pulled up before she shot out of the hall door and into it. I only caught a glimpse of her at the moment, but she was a lovely woman, with a face that a man might die for.
"Away they went, and I was just thinking about whether I should follow them when a neat little carriage came up the road, the driver with his coat only half buttoned and his tie askew, while all the straps of his harness were sticking out of the buckles. It hadn't even come to a stop before she rushed out of the front door and got in. I only caught a glimpse of her at that moment, but she was a beautiful woman, with a face that could make a man fall in love."
"'The Church of St. Monica, John,' she cried; 'and half a sovereign if you reach it in twenty minutes.'
"'The Church of St. Monica, John,' she shouted; 'and half a sovereign if you get there in twenty minutes.'"
"This was quite too good to lose, Watson. I was just balancing whether I should run for it, or whether I should perch behind her landau, when a cab came through the street. The driver looked twice at such a shabby fare; but I jumped in before he could object. 'The Church of St. Monica,' said I, 'and half a sovereign if you reach it in twenty minutes.' It was twenty-five minutes to twelve, and of course it was clear enough what was in the wind.
"This was way too good to let slip, Watson. I was just weighing whether to chase after it or to hide behind her carriage when a cab came down the street. The driver raised an eyebrow at such a shabby fare, but I jumped in before he could protest. 'The Church of St. Monica,' I said, 'and half a sovereign if you get me there in twenty minutes.' It was twenty-five minutes to twelve, and it was pretty obvious what was about to happen."
"My cabby drove fast. I don't think I ever drove faster, but the others were there before us. The cab and landau with their steaming horses were in front of the door when I arrived. I paid the man, and hurried into the church. There was not a soul there save the two whom I had followed, and a surpliced clergyman, who seemed to be expostulating with them. They were all three standing in a knot in front of the altar. I lounged up the side aisle like any other idler who has dropped into a church. Suddenly, to my surprise, the three at the altar faced round to me, and Godfrey Norton came running as hard as he could toward me.
"My cab driver was speeding. I don't think I've ever gone that fast, but the others got there before us. The cab and landau with their panting horses were in front of the door when I arrived. I paid the driver and rushed into the church. There wasn't a soul there except for the two I had been following, and a clergyman in a white robe who seemed to be arguing with them. The three of them were standing together in front of the altar. I strolled up the side aisle like any other person wandering into a church. Suddenly, to my surprise, the three at the altar turned to face me, and Godfrey Norton came running toward me as fast as he could."
"'Thank God!' he cried. 'You'll do. Come! Come!'
"'Thank God!' he exclaimed. 'You’ll do. Come on!'"
"'What then?' I asked.
"'So what now?' I asked.
"'Come, man, come; only three minutes, or it won't be legal.'
'Come on, man, hurry up; just three more minutes, or it won't count.'
"I was half dragged up to the altar, and, before I knew where I was, I found myself mumbling responses which were whispered in my ear, and vouching for things of which I knew nothing, and generally assisting in the secure tying up of Irene Adler, spinster, to Godfrey Norton, bachelor. It was all done in an instant, and there was the gentleman thanking me on the one side and the lady on the other, while the clergyman beamed on me in front. It was the most preposterous position in which I ever found myself in my life, and it was the thought of it that started me laughing just now. It seems that there had been some informality about their license; that the clergyman absolutely refused to marry them without a witness of some sort, and that my lucky appearance saved the bridegroom from having to sally out into the streets in search of a best man. The bride gave me a sovereign, and I mean to wear it on my watch chain in memory of the occasion."
"I was half dragged up to the altar, and before I knew what was happening, I found myself mumbling responses that were whispered in my ear, promising things I didn’t know anything about, and generally helping to tie up Irene Adler, single lady, to Godfrey Norton, single man. It all happened in an instant, and there was the gentleman thanking me on one side and the lady on the other, while the clergyman smiled at me in front. It was the most ridiculous position I’ve ever found myself in, and just thinking about it made me laugh just now. It turns out there was some issue with their license; the clergyman absolutely refused to marry them without a witness of some kind, and my unexpected appearance saved the groom from having to rush out into the streets looking for a best man. The bride gave me a sovereign, and I plan to wear it on my watch chain to remember the occasion."
"This is a very unexpected turn of affairs," said I; "and what then?"
"This is a really surprising turn of events," I said; "so what now?"
"Well, I found my plans very seriously menaced. It looked as if the pair might take an immediate departure, and so necessitate very prompt and energetic measures on my part. At the church door, however, they separated, he driving back to the Temple, and she to her own house. 'I shall drive out in the park at five as usual,' she said, as she left him. I heard no more. They drove away in different directions, and I went off to make my own arrangements."
"Well, I realized my plans were in serious jeopardy. It seemed like the couple might leave at any moment, which would require me to take quick and decisive action. However, at the church door, they split up, with him heading back to the Temple and her going to her own house. 'I’ll be driving in the park at five, as usual,' she said as she parted from him. I didn’t hear anything after that. They drove off in opposite directions, and I went to make my own plans."
"Which are?"
"Which ones?"
"Some cold beef and a glass of beer," he answered, ringing the bell. "I have been too busy to think of food, and I am likely to be busier still this evening. By the way, doctor, I shall want your cooperation."
"Some cold beef and a glass of beer," he replied, ringing the bell. "I've been too busy to think about food, and I'm probably going to be even busier tonight. By the way, doctor, I’ll need your help."
"I shall be delighted."
"I'll be delighted."
"You don't mind breaking the law?"
"You don't care about breaking the law?"
"Not in the least."
"Not at all."
"Nor running a chance of arrest?"
"Then there's no risk of getting arrested?"
"Not in a good cause."
"Not for a good cause."
"Oh, the cause is excellent!"
"Oh, the cause is great!"
"Then I am your man."
"Then I'm your man."
"I was sure that I might rely on you."
"I was confident that I could count on you."
"But what is it you wish?"
"But what do you want?"
"When Mrs. Turner has brought in the tray I will make it clear to you. Now," he said, as he turned hungrily on the simple fare that our landlady had provided, "I must discuss it while I eat, for I have not much time. It is nearly five now. In two hours we must be on the scene of action. Miss Irene, or Madame, rather, returns from her drive at seven. We must be at Briony Lodge to meet her."
"When Mrs. Turner brings in the tray, I'll explain everything to you. Now," he said, turning eagerly to the simple meal our landlady had prepared, "I need to talk about this while I eat because I don’t have much time. It's almost five now. In two hours, we need to be at the location. Miss Irene, or Madame, I should say, will be back from her drive at seven. We need to be at Briony Lodge to meet her."
"And what then?"
"And then what?"
"You must leave that to me. I have already arranged what is to occur. There is only one point on which I must insist. You must not interfere, come what may. You understand?"
"You need to leave that to me. I've already taken care of what needs to happen. There's just one thing I have to insist on. You must not get involved, no matter what. Do you understand?"
"I am to be neutral?"
"Should I be neutral?"
"To do nothing whatever. There will probably be some small unpleasantness. Do not join in it. It will end in my being conveyed into the house. Four or five minutes afterwards the sitting-room window will open. You are to station yourself close to that open window."
"To not do anything at all. There will likely be some minor awkwardness. Don’t get involved. It will result in me being taken into the house. Four or five minutes later, the living room window will open. You need to position yourself near that open window."
"Yes."
"Yep."
"You are to watch me, for I will be visible to you."
"You should keep an eye on me, because I will be in sight for you."
"Yes."
Yes.
"And when I raise my hand—so—you will throw into the room what I give you to throw, and will, at the same time, raise the cry of fire. You quite follow me?"
"And when I raise my hand—so—you will toss into the room whatever I give you to throw, and at the same time, shout fire. Do you understand me?"
"Entirely."
Completely.
"It is nothing very formidable," he said, taking a long, cigar-shaped roll from his pocket. "It is an ordinary plumber's smoke-rocket, fitted with a cap at either end, to make it self-lighting. Your task is confined to that. When you raise your cry of fire, it will be taken up by quite a number of people. You may then walk to the end of the street, and I will rejoin you in ten minutes. I hope that I have made myself clear?"
"It’s nothing too intimidating," he said, pulling out a long, cigar-shaped tube from his pocket. "It’s just a regular plumber’s smoke rocket, designed with a cap on each end to make it self-lighting. That’s all you need to do. When you shout fire, quite a few people will respond. You can then walk to the end of the street, and I’ll meet you there in ten minutes. I hope I'm being clear?"
"I am to remain neutral, to get near the window, to watch you, and, at the signal, to throw in this object, then to raise the cry of fire and to wait you at the corner of the street."
"I have to stay neutral, get close to the window, watch you, and, at the signal, throw in this object, then shout fire and wait for you at the corner of the street."
"Precisely."
"Exactly."
"Then you may entirely rely on me."
"Then you can completely trust me."
"That is excellent. I think, perhaps, it is almost time that I prepared for the new role I have to play."
"That’s great. I think it’s probably time for me to get ready for the new role I have to take on."
He disappeared into his bedroom, and returned in a few minutes in the character of an amiable and simple-minded Nonconformist clergyman. His broad, black hat, his baggy trousers, his white tie, his sympathetic smile, and general look of peering and benevolent curiosity were such as Mr. John Hare alone could have equaled. It was not merely that Holmes changed his costume. His expression, his manner, his very soul seemed to vary with every fresh part that he assumed. The stage lost a fine actor, even as science lost an acute reasoner, when he became a specialist in crime.
He disappeared into his bedroom and came back a few minutes later dressed as a friendly and simple-minded Nonconformist clergyman. His wide black hat, loose trousers, white tie, warm smile, and overall look of curious kindness were something only Mr. John Hare could match. It wasn't just that Holmes changed his outfit. His expression, demeanor, and even his essence seemed to shift with every new role he took on. The stage lost a talented actor, just as science lost a sharp thinker, when he became a crime specialist.
It was a quarter past six when we left Baker Street, and it still wanted ten minutes to the hour when we found ourselves in Serpentine Avenue. It was already dusk, and the lamps were just being lighted as we paced up and down in front of Briony Lodge, waiting for the coming of its occupant. The house was just such as I had pictured it from Sherlock Holmes's succinct description, but the locality appeared to be less private than I expected. On the contrary, for a small street in a quiet neighborhood, it was remarkably animated. There was a group of shabbily dressed men smoking and laughing in a corner, a scissors grinder with his wheel, two guardsmen who were flirting with a nurse girl, and several well-dressed young men who were lounging up and down with cigars in their mouths.
It was 6:15 when we left Baker Street, and it was still ten minutes to seven when we found ourselves on Serpentine Avenue. It was already getting dark, and the streetlights were just being turned on as we walked back and forth in front of Briony Lodge, waiting for its occupant to arrive. The house looked exactly how I had imagined it from Sherlock Holmes's brief description, but the area seemed less private than I had expected. In fact, for a small street in a quiet neighborhood, it was surprisingly lively. There was a group of poorly dressed men smoking and laughing in one corner, a scissors grinder with his wheel, two soldiers flirting with a nursemaid, and several well-dressed young men strolling back and forth with cigars in their mouths.
"You see," remarked Holmes, as we paced to and fro in front of the house, "this marriage rather simplifies matters. The photograph becomes a double-edged weapon now. The chances are that she would be as averse to its being seen by Mr. Godfrey Norton as our client is to its coming to the eyes of his princess. Now the question is—where are we to find the photograph?"
"You see," Holmes said as we walked back and forth in front of the house, "this marriage simplifies things. The photograph is now a double-edged sword. It's likely that she would be just as reluctant to let Mr. Godfrey Norton see it as our client is to it being seen by his princess. Now the question is—where are we going to find the photograph?"
"Where, indeed?"
"Where, exactly?"
"It is most unlikely that she carries it about with her. It is cabinet size. Too large for easy concealment about a woman's dress. She knows that the king is capable of having her waylaid and searched. Two attempts of the sort have already been made. We may take it, then, that she does not carry it about with her."
"It’s highly unlikely that she has it on her. It’s the size of a cabinet—too big to hide easily in a woman’s clothing. She understands that the king could have her intercepted and searched. There have already been two attempts like that. So, we can conclude that she doesn’t carry it with her."
"Where, then?"
"Where to, then?"
"Her banker or her lawyer. There is that double possibility. But I am inclined to think neither. Women are naturally secretive, and they like to do their own secreting. Why should she hand it over to anyone else? She could trust her own guardianship, but she could not tell what indirect or political influence might be brought to bear upon a business man. Besides, remember that she had resolved to use it within a few days. It must be where she can lay her hands upon it. It must be in her own house."
"Her banker or her lawyer. That’s a possibility. But I think neither. Women tend to be secretive, and they prefer to handle their own secrets. Why would she give it to someone else? She trusts her own judgment, but who knows what outside influence a businessman might be under? Plus, keep in mind that she planned to use it in a few days. It needs to be somewhere she can access it easily. It should be in her own home."
"But it has twice been burglarized."
"But it has been broken into twice."
"Pshaw! They did not know how to look."
"Pssh! They didn't know how to look."
"But how will you look?"
"But how will you look?"
"I will not look."
"I'm not looking."
"What then?"
"What's next?"
"I will get her to show me."
"I'll have her demonstrate."
"But she will refuse."
"But she won't agree."
"She will not be able to. But I hear the rumble of wheels. It is her carriage. Now carry out my orders to the letter."
"She won’t be able to. But I hear the sound of wheels. It’s her carriage. Now follow my instructions exactly."
As he spoke, the gleam of the sidelights of a carriage came round the curve of the avenue. It was a smart little landau which rattled up to the door of Briony Lodge. As it pulled up one of the loafing men at the corner dashed forward to open the door in the hope of earning a copper, but was elbowed away by another loafer who had rushed up with the same intention. A fierce quarrel broke out which was increased by the two guardsmen, who took sides with one of the loungers, and by the scissors grinder, who was equally hot upon the other side. A blow was struck, and in an instant the lady, who had stepped from her carriage, was the center of a little knot of struggling men who struck savagely at each other with their fists and sticks. Holmes dashed into the crowd to protect the lady; but, just as he reached her, he gave a cry and dropped to the ground, with the blood running freely down his face. At his fall the guardsmen took to their heels in one direction and the loungers in the other, while a number of better-dressed people who had watched the scuffle without taking part in it crowded in to help the lady and to attend to the injured man. Irene Adler, as I will still call her, had hurried up the steps; but she stood at the top, with her superb figure outlined against the lights of the hall, looking back into the street.
As he was talking, the glow from the sidelights of a carriage came around the curve of the avenue. It was a stylish little landau that rolled up to the door of Briony Lodge. When it stopped, one of the guys hanging around the corner rushed forward to open the door hoping to earn a penny, but got pushed aside by another bystander who had the same idea. A heated argument broke out, stirred up by two guardsmen who sided with one of the loiterers, and by the knife grinder, who fiercely supported the other. A punch was thrown, and in an instant, the woman who had stepped out of her carriage became the center of a little cluster of struggling men who were hitting each other with their fists and sticks. Holmes rushed into the crowd to protect the woman; but just as he reached her, he cried out and fell to the ground, blood streaming down his face. When he fell, the guardsmen took off in one direction, and the bystanders scattered in the other, while a number of well-dressed people who had been watching the fight without getting involved moved in to help the lady and attend to the injured man. Irene Adler, as I will still refer to her, had quickly climbed up the steps; but she stood at the top, her impressive figure silhouetted against the lights of the hall, looking back into the street.
"Is the poor gentleman much hurt?" she asked.
"Is the poor guy really hurt?" she asked.
"He is dead," cried several voices.
"He's dead," shouted several voices.
"No, no, there's life in him," shouted another. "But he'll be gone before you can get him to the hospital."
"No, no, he's still alive," shouted another. "But he'll be gone before you can get him to the hospital."
"He's a brave fellow," said a woman. "They would have had the lady's purse and watch if it hadn't been for him. They were a gang, and a rough one, too. Ah! he's breathing now."
"He's a brave guy," said a woman. "They would have taken the lady's purse and watch if it hadn't been for him. They were a gang, and a tough one, too. Ah! he's breathing now."
"He can't lie in the street. May we bring him in, marm?"
"He can't lie in the street. Can we bring him inside, ma'am?"
"Surely. Bring him into the sitting room. There is a comfortable sofa. This way, please." Slowly and solemnly he was borne into Briony Lodge, and laid out in the principal room, while I still observed the proceedings from my post by the window. The lamps had been lighted, but the blinds had not been drawn, so that I could see Holmes as he lay upon the couch. I do not know whether he was seized with compunction at that moment for the part he was playing, but I know that I never felt more heartily ashamed of myself in my life than when I saw the beautiful creature against whom I was conspiring, or the grace and kindliness with which she waited upon the injured man. And yet it would be the blackest treachery to Holmes to draw back now from the part which he had intrusted to me. I hardened my heart, and took the smoke-rocket from under my ulster. After all, I thought, we are not injuring her. We are but preventing her from injuring another.
"Sure. Bring him into the living room. There’s a comfy sofa. This way, please." Slowly and solemnly, he was carried into Briony Lodge and laid out in the main room, while I continued to watch from my spot by the window. The lamps were lit, but the blinds were still up, so I could see Holmes lying on the couch. I don’t know if he felt any guilt at that moment for the role he was playing, but I never felt more ashamed of myself in my life than when I saw the beautiful woman I was conspiring against, or the grace and kindness with which she cared for the injured man. Still, it would be the worst betrayal to Holmes to back out now from the role he had entrusted to me. I steeled myself and took the smoke rocket out from under my coat. After all, I thought, we’re not hurting her. We’re just stopping her from hurting someone else.
Holmes had sat upon the couch, and I saw him motion like a man who is in need of air. A maid rushed across and threw open the window. At the same instant I saw him raise his hand, and at the signal I tossed my rocket into the room with a cry of "Fire!" The word was no sooner out of my mouth than the whole crowd of spectators, well dressed and ill—gentlemen, hostlers, and servant maids—joined in a general shriek of "Fire!" Thick clouds of smoke curled through the room, and out at the open window. I caught a glimpse of rushing figures, and a moment later the voice of Holmes from within assuring them that it was a false alarm. Slipping through the shouting crowd, I made my way to the corner of the street, and in ten minutes was rejoiced to find my friend's arm in mine, and to get away from the scene of uproar. He walked swiftly and in silence for some few minutes, until we had turned down one of the quiet streets which led toward the Edgeware Road.
Holmes had been sitting on the couch, and I noticed him signal like someone who needed fresh air. A maid hurried over and opened the window. At the same moment, I saw him raise his hand, and at his signal, I tossed my rocket into the room shouting "Fire!" No sooner had I spoken the word than the entire crowd of onlookers—well-dressed people and those in work clothes, including gentlemen, hostlers, and maids—joined in a collective scream of "Fire!" Thick clouds of smoke filled the room and poured out through the open window. I caught a glimpse of people rushing about, and moments later, I heard Holmes's voice from inside calming them, assuring them it was a false alarm. Wending my way through the shouting crowd, I made my way to the corner of the street, and within ten minutes, I was relieved to have my friend's arm linked with mine as we got away from the chaos. He walked quickly and quietly for a few minutes until we turned down one of the calm streets leading toward the Edgeware Road.
"You did it very nicely, doctor," he remarked. "Nothing could have been better. It is all right."
"You did a great job, doctor," he said. "Nothing could have been better. It’s all good."
"You have the photograph?"
"Do you have the photo?"
"I know where it is."
"I know where it’s at."
"And how did you find out?"
"And how did you find out?"
"She showed me, as I told you that she would."
"She showed me, as I mentioned she would."
"I am still in the dark."
"I still don’t understand."
"I do not wish to make a mystery," said he, laughing. "The matter was perfectly simple. You, of course, saw that everyone in the street was an accomplice. They were all engaged for the evening."
"I don't want to create a mystery," he said, laughing. "The situation was completely straightforward. You, of course, noticed that everyone on the street was in on it. They were all involved for the evening."
"I guessed as much."
"I figured as much."
"Then, when the row broke out, I had a little moist red paint in the palm of my hand. I rushed forward, fell down, clapped my hand to my face, and became a piteous spectacle. It is an old trick."
"Then, when the fight started, I had a bit of wet red paint in the palm of my hand. I rushed forward, tripped, pressed my hand to my face, and became a sad sight. It’s an old trick."
"That also I could fathom."
"I could understand that too."
"Then they carried me in. She was bound to have me in. What else could she do? And into her sitting room, which was the very room which I suspected. It lay between that and her bedroom, and I was determined to see which. They laid me on a couch, I motioned for air, they were compelled to open the window, and you had your chance."
"Then they brought me in. She had to take me in. What else could she do? And into her living room, which was exactly the room I suspected. It was between that and her bedroom, and I was set on seeing which one it was. They laid me on a couch, I signaled for some fresh air, and they had to open the window, and there was your chance."
"How did that help you?"
"How did that assist you?"
"It was all-important. When a woman thinks that her house is on fire, her instinct is at once to rush to the thing which she values most. It is a perfectly overpowering impulse, and I have more than once taken advantage of it. In the case of the Darlington Substitution Scandal it was of use to me, and also in the Arnsworth Castle business. A married woman grabs at her baby—an unmarried one reaches for her jewel box. Now it was clear to me that our lady of to-day had nothing in the house more precious to her than what we are in quest of. She would rush to secure it. The alarm of fire was admirably done. The smoke and shouting were enough to shake nerves of steel. She responded beautifully. The photograph is in a recess behind a sliding panel just above the right bell-pull. She was there in an instant, and I caught a glimpse of it as she drew it out. When I cried out that it was a false alarm, she replaced it, glanced at the rocket, rushed from the room, and I have not seen her since. I rose, and, making my excuses, escaped from the house. I hesitated whether to attempt to secure the photograph at once; but the coachman had come in, and as he was watching me narrowly, it seemed safer to wait. A little over-precipitance may ruin all."
"It was crucial. When a woman believes her house is on fire, her instinct is to rush to the thing she values most. It’s an overwhelming urge, and I’ve taken advantage of it more than once. In the case of the Darlington Substitution Scandal, it worked to my benefit, as it did in the Arnsworth Castle situation. A married woman reaches for her baby—an unmarried one grabs her jewelry box. It was clear to me that the woman today had nothing in her house more precious than what we were after. She would hurry to secure it. The fire alarm was executed perfectly. The smoke and shouting were enough to rattle even the toughest nerves. She reacted beautifully. The photograph is hidden in a recess behind a sliding panel just above the right bell-pull. She was there in an instant, and I caught a glimpse of it as she took it out. When I yelled that it was a false alarm, she put it back, glanced at the rocket, dashed out of the room, and I haven’t seen her since. I stood up and, making my excuses, slipped out of the house. I hesitated about trying to grab the photograph right then; but the coachman had come in, and since he was watching me closely, it seemed safer to wait. A little rashness could ruin everything."
"And now?" I asked.
"What's next?" I asked.
"Our quest is practically finished. I shall call with the king to-morrow, and with you, if you care to come with us. We will be shown into the sitting room to wait for the lady, but it is probable that when she comes she may find neither us nor the photograph. It might be a satisfaction to his majesty to regain it with his own hands."
"Our quest is almost over. I'll call on the king tomorrow, and you're welcome to join us if you want. We'll be taken into the sitting room to wait for the lady, but it's likely that when she arrives, she might find neither us nor the photograph. It could be satisfying for his majesty to retrieve it himself."
"And when will you call?"
"When will you call?"
"At eight in the morning. She will not be up, so that we shall have a clear field. Besides, we must be prompt, for this marriage may mean a complete change in her life and habits. I must wire to the king without delay."
"At eight in the morning. She won't be awake, so we’ll have a clear path. Plus, we need to be quick, because this marriage could totally change her life and routines. I need to message the king right away."
We had reached Baker Street, and had stopped at the door. He was searching his pockets for the key, when some one passing said:
We had arrived at Baker Street and stopped at the door. He was looking through his pockets for the key when someone passing by said:
"Good night, Mister Sherlock Holmes."
"Good night, Mr. Sherlock Holmes."
There were several people on the pavement at the time, but the greeting appeared to come from a slim youth in an ulster who had hurried by.
There were quite a few people on the sidewalk at that moment, but the greeting seemed to come from a lanky young man in a long coat who had rushed past.
"I've heard that voice before," said Holmes, staring down the dimly lighted street. "Now, I wonder who the deuce that could have been?"
"I've heard that voice before," Holmes said, looking down the dimly lit street. "I wonder who the heck that could have been?"
III
I slept at Baker Street that night, and we were engaged upon our toast and coffee in the morning, when the King of Bohemia rushed into the room.
I stayed at Baker Street that night, and we were busy with our toast and coffee in the morning when the King of Bohemia burst into the room.
"You have really got it?" he cried, grasping Sherlock Holmes by either shoulder, and looking eagerly into his face.
"You really have it?" he exclaimed, grabbing Sherlock Holmes by both shoulders and looking intently into his face.
"Not yet."
"Not yet."
"But you have hopes?"
"But do you have hopes?"
"I have hopes."
"I have dreams."
"Then come. I am all impatience to be gone."
"Then come on. I can't wait to leave."
"We must have a cab."
"We need a ride."
"No, my brougham is waiting."
"No, my car is waiting."
"Then that will simplify matters." We descended, and started off once more for Briony Lodge.
"That will make things easier." We went down and set off again for Briony Lodge.
"Irene Adler is married," remarked Holmes.
"Irene Adler is married," Holmes said.
"Married! When?"
"Married! When's the date?"
"Yesterday."
"Yesterday."
"But to whom?"
"But to who?"
"To an English lawyer named Norton."
"To an English lawyer named Norton."
"But she could not love him."
"But she couldn't love him."
"I am in hopes that she does."
"I hope she does."
"And why in hopes?"
"And why the hopes?"
"Because it would spare your majesty all fear of future annoyance. If the lady loves her husband, she does not love your majesty. If she does not love your majesty, there is no reason why she should interfere with your majesty's plan."
"Because it would save you from any worry about future problems. If the lady loves her husband, she doesn't love you. If she doesn't love you, there's no reason for her to get in the way of your plan."
"It is true. And yet—Well, I wish she had been of my own station. What a queen she would have made!" He relapsed into a moody silence, which was not broken until we drew up in Serpentine Avenue.
"It’s true. And still—Well, I wish she had been from my own background. What a queen she would have been!" He fell into a deep silence, which wasn’t interrupted until we arrived at Serpentine Avenue.
The door of Briony Lodge was open, and an elderly woman stood upon the steps. She watched us with a sardonic eye as we stepped from the brougham.
The door of Briony Lodge was open, and an older woman stood on the steps. She watched us with a sarcastic eye as we got out of the brougham.
"Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I believe?" said she.
"Mr. Sherlock Holmes, is that right?" she asked.
"I am Mr. Holmes," answered my companion, looking at her with a questioning and rather startled gaze.
"I’m Mr. Holmes," my companion replied, looking at her with a curious and somewhat surprised expression.
"Indeed! My mistress told me that you were likely to call. She left this morning, with her husband, by the 5:15 train from Charing Cross, for the Continent."
"Sure! My boss mentioned that you would probably call. She left this morning with her husband on the 5:15 train from Charing Cross to the Continent."
"What!" Sherlock Holmes staggered back, white with chagrin and surprise.
"What!" Sherlock Holmes staggered back, pale with embarrassment and shock.
"Do you mean that she has left England?"
"Are you saying that she has left England?"
"Never to return."
"Never coming back."
"And the papers?" asked the king hoarsely. "All is lost!"
"And the papers?" the king asked hoarsely. "Everything is lost!"
"We shall see." He pushed past the servant, and rushed into the drawing-room, followed by the king and myself. The furniture was scattered about in every direction, with dismantled shelves, and open drawers, as if the lady had hurriedly ransacked them before her flight. Holmes rushed at the bell-pull, tore back a small sliding shutter, and plunging in his hand, pulled out a photograph and a letter. The photograph was of Irene Adler herself in evening dress; the letter was superscribed to "Sherlock Holmes, Esq. To be left till called for." My friend tore it open, and we all three read it together. It was dated at midnight of the preceding night, and ran in this way:
"We'll see." He pushed past the servant and rushed into the drawing room, with the king and me right behind him. The furniture was scattered everywhere, with broken shelves and open drawers, as if the lady had frantically searched through them before she left. Holmes went straight for the bell-pull, slid back a small shutter, and reached in, pulling out a photograph and a letter. The photograph was of Irene Adler in an evening dress; the letter was addressed to "Sherlock Holmes, Esq. To be left till called for." My friend tore it open, and the three of us read it together. Dated at midnight the night before, it read as follows:
"MY DEAR MR. SHERLOCK HOLMES,—You really did it very well. You took me in completely. Until after the alarm of the fire, I had not a suspicion. But then, when I found how I had betrayed myself, I began to think. I had been warned against you months ago. I had been told that if the king employed an agent, it would certainly be you. And your address had been given me. Yet, with all this, you made me reveal what you wanted to know. Even after I became suspicious, I found it hard to think evil of such a dear, kind old clergyman. But, you know, I have been trained as an actress myself. Male costume is nothing new to me. I often take advantage of the freedom which it gives. I sent John, the coachman, to watch you, ran upstairs, got into my walking clothes, as I call them, and came down just as you departed.
"MY DEAR MR. SHERLOCK HOLMES,—You really did an impressive job. You completely fooled me. Until the fire alarm went off, I had no suspicions at all. But then, when I realized how I had revealed too much about myself, I started to think. I had been warned about you months ago. I was told that if the king hired an agent, it would definitely be you, and I had even been given your address. Yet, despite all that, you got me to share what you wanted to know. Even after I started to feel suspicious, I found it hard to believe anything negative about such a sweet, kind old clergyman. But, as you know, I’ve been trained as an actress myself. Wearing male clothes is nothing new for me, and I often take advantage of the freedom it offers. I sent John, the coachman, to keep an eye on you, ran upstairs, changed into my walking clothes, as I call them, and came down just as you were leaving."
"Well, I followed you to the door, and so made sure that I was really an object of interest to the celebrated Mr. Sherlock Holmes. Then I, rather imprudently, wished you good night, and started for the Temple to see my husband.
"Well, I followed you to the door, making sure that I was really of interest to the famous Mr. Sherlock Holmes. Then I, somewhat foolishly, wished you good night and headed to the Temple to see my husband."
"We both thought the best resource was flight when pursued by so formidable an antagonist; so you will find the nest empty when you call to-morrow. As to the photograph, your client may rest in peace. I love and am loved by a better man than he. The king may do what he will without hindrance from one whom he has cruelly wronged. I keep it only to safeguard myself, and preserve a weapon which will always secure me from any steps which he might take in the future. I leave a photograph which he might care to possess; and I remain, dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, very truly yours,
"We both thought the best option was to fly away when chased by such a tough enemy, so you’ll find the nest empty when you call tomorrow. As for the photograph, your client can relax. I love and am loved by a better man than he. The king can do whatever he wants without interference from someone he has wronged so badly. I keep it just to protect myself and to have a safeguard against any actions he might take in the future. I’m leaving behind a photograph that he might want; and I remain, dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, very truly yours,"
"IRENE NORTON, née ADLER."
"Irene Norton, formerly Adler."
"What a woman—oh, what a woman!" cried the King of Bohemia, when we had all three read this epistle. "Did I not tell you how quick and resolute she was? Would she not have made an admirable queen? Is it not a pity that she was not on my level?"
"What a woman—oh, what a woman!" exclaimed the King of Bohemia after we had all read the letter. "Didn't I tell you how sharp and determined she was? Wouldn’t she have made a fantastic queen? Isn’t it a shame that she wasn't on my level?"
"From what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level to your majesty," said Holmes coldly. "I am sorry that I have not been able to bring your majesty's business to a more successful conclusion."
"From what I've seen of her, she really seems to be on a whole different level than you, your majesty," Holmes said coolly. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to wrap up your majesty's business more successfully."
"On the contrary, my dear sir," cried the king, "nothing could be more successful. I know that her word is inviolate. The photograph is now as safe as if it were in the fire."
"On the contrary, my dear sir," exclaimed the king, "nothing could be more successful. I know that her word is unbreakable. The photograph is now as safe as if it were in a safe."
"I am glad to hear your majesty say so."
"I'm happy to hear you say that, Your Majesty."
"I am immensely indebted to you. Pray tell me in what way I can reward you. This ring—" He slipped an emerald snake ring from his finger, and held it out upon the palm of his hand.
"I owe you so much. Please let me know how I can repay you. This ring—" He took an emerald snake ring off his finger and held it out in the palm of his hand.
"Your majesty has something which I should value even more highly," said Holmes.
"Your majesty has something that I would appreciate even more," Holmes said.
"You have but to name it."
"You just have to name it."
"This photograph!"
"This pic!"
The king stared at him in amazement.
The king looked at him in shock.
"Irene's photograph!" he cried. "Certainly, if you wish it."
"Irene's photo!" he exclaimed. "Of course, if that's what you want."
"I thank your majesty. Then there is no more to be done in the matter. I have the honor to wish you a very good morning." He bowed, and turning away without observing the hand which the king had stretched out to him, he set off in my company for his chambers.
"I appreciate it, Your Majesty. So, there's nothing more to address regarding this issue. I’m honored to wish you a very good morning." He bowed, and turning away without noticing the hand that the king had extended to him, he left with me toward his chambers.
And that was how a great scandal threatened to affect the kingdom of Bohemia, and how the best plans of Mr. Sherlock Holmes were beaten by a woman's wit. He used to make merry over the cleverness of women, but I have not heard him do it of late. And when he speaks of Irene Adler, or when he refers to her photograph, it is always under the honorable title of the woman.
And that was how a huge scandal was about to impact the kingdom of Bohemia, and how Mr. Sherlock Holmes's best plans were outsmarted by a woman's cleverness. He used to joke about how clever women are, but I haven't heard him do that lately. And when he talks about Irene Adler, or mentions her photograph, he always refers to her with the respectful title of the woman.
The Red-Headed League
I had called upon my friend, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, one day in the autumn of last year, and found him in deep conversation with a very stout, florid-faced elderly gentleman, with fiery red hair. With an apology for my intrusion, I was about to withdraw, when Holmes pulled me abruptly into the room and closed the door behind me.
I visited my friend, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, one day in the autumn of last year, and found him in deep conversation with a very heavy, rosy-faced older man with bright red hair. I was about to apologize for interrupting and leave when Holmes suddenly pulled me into the room and shut the door behind me.
"You could not possibly have come at a better time, my dear Watson," he said, cordially.
"You couldn't have arrived at a better time, my dear Watson," he said warmly.
"I was afraid that you were engaged."
"I was worried that you were taken."
"So I am. Very much so."
"Yeah, totally."
"Then I can wait in the next room."
"Then I can wait in the next room."
"Not at all. This gentleman, Mr. Wilson, has been my partner and helper in many of my most successful cases, and I have no doubt that he will be of the utmost use to me in yours also."
"Not at all. This guy, Mr. Wilson, has been my partner and helper in many of my most successful cases, and I'm sure he will be extremely helpful to me in yours as well."
The stout gentleman half rose from his chair and gave a bob of greeting, with a quick little questioning glance from his small, fat-encircled eyes.
The heavyset man shifted in his chair and nodded in greeting, casting a quick, curious look from his small, chubby-framed eyes.
"Try the settee," said Holmes, relapsing into his armchair, and putting his finger tips together, as was his custom when in judicial moods. "I know, my dear Watson, that you share my love of all that is bizarre and outside the conventions and humdrum routine of everyday life. You have shown your relish for it by the enthusiasm which has prompted you to chronicle, and, if you will excuse my saying so, somewhat to embellish so many of my own little adventures."
"Try the couch," said Holmes, settling back into his armchair and bringing his fingertips together, as he often did when deep in thought. "I know, my dear Watson, that you share my passion for anything strange and out of the ordinary, far from the boring routines of daily life. You've shown your enjoyment of it through the excitement that has driven you to write about, and if I may say so, slightly embellish many of my own little adventures."
"Your cases have indeed been of the greatest interest to me," I observed.
"Your cases have definitely been really interesting to me," I said.
"You will remember that I remarked the other day, just before we went into the very simple problem presented by Miss Mary Sutherland, that for strange effects and extraordinary combinations we must go to life itself, which is always far more daring than any effort of the imagination."
"You'll remember I mentioned the other day, right before we tackled the straightforward case presented by Miss Mary Sutherland, that for unusual effects and amazing combinations, we need to look at life itself, which is always bolder than any attempt of the imagination."
"A proposition which I took the liberty of doubting."
"A suggestion that I felt free to question."
"You did, doctor, but none the less you must come round to my view, for otherwise I shall keep on piling fact upon fact on you, until your reason breaks down under them and acknowledge me to be right. Now, Mr. Jabez Wilson here has been good enough to call upon me this morning, and to begin a narrative which promises to be one of the most singular which I have listened to for some time. You have heard me remark that the strangest and most unique things are very often connected not with the larger but with the smaller crimes, and occasionally, indeed, where there is room for doubt whether any positive crime has been committed. As far as I have heard, it is impossible for me to say whether the present case is an instance of crime or not, but the course of events is certainly among the most singular that I have ever listened to. Perhaps, Mr. Wilson, you would have the great kindness to recommence your narrative. I ask you, not merely because my friend, Dr. Watson, has not heard the opening part, but also because the peculiar nature of the story makes me anxious to have every possible detail from your lips. As a rule, when I have heard some slight indication of the course of events I am able to guide myself by the thousands of other similar cases which occur to my memory. In the present instance I am forced to admit that the facts are, to the best of my belief, unique."
"You did, doctor, but still, you need to see things my way. Otherwise, I’ll keep throwing facts at you until you can't deny that I'm right. Now, Mr. Jabez Wilson here has kindly come to see me this morning and has started to share a story that promises to be one of the most unusual I've heard in a while. You've heard me say that the strangest and most unique situations often relate not to the bigger crimes but to the smaller ones, and sometimes, there's even a question of whether any real crime has happened at all. From what I've heard so far, I can’t say if this case involves a crime or not, but the events that have unfolded are certainly among the most unusual I've encountered. Perhaps, Mr. Wilson, you'd be so kind as to start your story over. I'm asking not just because my friend, Dr. Watson, hasn't heard the beginning, but also because the unusual nature of the tale makes me eager to hear every detail from you. Usually, when I catch a hint of what’s happened, I can draw from the thousands of similar cases in my memory. In this case, however, I have to admit that the facts seem, as far as I know, completely unique."
The portly client puffed out his chest with an appearance of some little pride, and pulled a dirty and wrinkled newspaper from the inside pocket of his greatcoat. As he glanced down the advertisement column, with his head thrust forward, and the paper flattened out upon his knee, I took a good look at the man, and endeavored, after the fashion of my companion, to read the indications which might be presented by his dress or appearance.
The overweight client puffed out his chest, looking a bit proud, and pulled a dirty, wrinkled newspaper from the inside pocket of his overcoat. As he leaned forward to scan the advertisement section, with the paper spread out on his knee, I took a good look at him and tried, like my companion, to read the clues given by his clothes or appearance.
I did not gain very much, however, by my inspection. Our visitor bore every mark of being an average commonplace British tradesman, obese, pompous, and slow. He wore rather baggy gray shepherd's check trousers, a not overclean black frock coat, unbuttoned in the front, and a drab waistcoat with a heavy brassy Albert chain, and a square pierced bit of metal dangling down as an ornament. A frayed top hat and a faded brown overcoat with a wrinkled velvet collar lay upon a chair beside him. Altogether, look as I would, there was nothing remarkable about the man save his blazing red head and the expression of extreme chagrin and discontent upon his features.
I didn't really gain much from my inspection. Our visitor looked just like an average, run-of-the-mill British tradesman—heavyset, self-important, and slow. He wore baggy gray checked trousers, a not-so-clean black frock coat that was unbuttoned in the front, and a dull waistcoat with a heavy brass Albert chain, along with a square piece of metal hanging down as a decoration. A frayed top hat and a worn brown overcoat with a wrinkled velvet collar were resting on a chair next to him. Overall, no matter how hard I looked, there was nothing noteworthy about the man except for his bright red head and the look of deep frustration and discontent on his face.
Sherlock Holmes's quick eye took in my occupation, and he shook his head with a smile as he noticed my questioning glances. "Beyond the obvious facts that he has at some time done manual labor, that he takes snuff, that he is a Freemason, that he has been in China, and that he has done a considerable amount of writing lately, I can deduce nothing else."
Sherlock Holmes's sharp gaze assessed my job, and he smiled while noticing my curious looks. "Aside from the clear signs that he has done some manual work, that he uses snuff, that he's a Freemason, that he has spent time in China, and that he has recently done a fair amount of writing, I can't deduce anything else."
Mr. Jabez Wilson started up in his chair, with his forefinger upon the paper, but his eyes upon my companion.
Mr. Jabez Wilson sat up in his chair, his forefinger on the paper, but his eyes on my companion.
"How, in the name of good fortune, did you know all that, Mr. Holmes?" he asked. "How did you know, for example, that I did manual labor? It's as true as gospel, for I began as a ship's carpenter."
"How on earth did you know all that, Mr. Holmes?" he asked. "How did you know, for instance, that I did manual labor? It's absolutely true; I started out as a ship's carpenter."
"Your hands, my dear sir. Your right hand is quite a size larger than your left. You have worked with it and the muscles are more developed."
"Your hands, my dear sir. Your right hand is noticeably larger than your left. You've put it to work, and the muscles are more developed."
"Well, the snuff, then, and the Freemasonry?"
"Well, what about the snuff and the Freemasonry?"
"I won't insult your intelligence by telling you how I read that, especially as, rather against the strict rules of your order, you use an arc and compass breastpin."
"I won’t disrespect your intelligence by explaining how I read that, especially since, rather against the strict rules of your order, you wear a pin with an arc and compass."
"Ah, of course, I forgot that. But the writing?"
"Ah, right, I totally forgot that. But what about the writing?"
"What else can be indicated by that right cuff so very shiny for five inches, and the left one with the smooth patch near the elbow where you rest it upon the desk."
"What else can that shiny right cuff for five inches tell us, and what about the left one with the smooth spot near the elbow where you rest it on the desk?"
"Well, but China?"
"Well, what about China?"
"The fish which you have tattooed immediately above your wrist could only have been done in China. I have made a small study of tattoo marks, and have even contributed to the literature of the subject. That trick of staining the fishes' scales of a delicate pink is quite peculiar to China. When, in addition, I see a Chinese coin hanging from your watch chain, the matter becomes even more simple."
"The fish tattooed just above your wrist could only have been done in China. I've done some research on tattoo marks and have even contributed to the literature on the topic. That technique of coloring the fish scales a delicate pink is unique to China. Plus, when I see a Chinese coin hanging from your watch chain, it all becomes even clearer."
Mr. Jabez Wilson laughed heavily. "Well, I never!" said he. "I thought at first that you had done something clever, but I see that there was nothing in it after all."
Mr. Jabez Wilson laughed heartily. "Well, I can't believe it!" he said. "At first, I thought you had pulled off something impressive, but I realize now that it was all for nothing."
"I begin to think, Watson," said Holmes, "that I make a mistake in explaining. 'Omne ignotom pro magnifico,' you know, and my poor little reputation, such as it is, will suffer shipwreck if I am so candid. Can you not find the advertisement, Mr. Wilson?"
"I’m starting to think, Watson," Holmes said, "that I made a mistake by explaining. 'Omne ignotum pro magnifico,' you know, and my poor little reputation, whatever it is, will take a hit if I’m this open. Can you find the advertisement, Mr. Wilson?"
"Yes, I have got it now," he answered, with his thick, red finger planted halfway down the column. "Here it is. This is what began it all. You just read it for yourself, sir."
"Yeah, I’ve got it now," he replied, with his thick, red finger positioned halfway down the column. "Here it is. This is what started it all. Just read it for yourself, sir."
I took the paper from him and read as follows:
I took the paper from him and read it as follows:
"To the Red-headed League: On account of the bequest of the late Ezekiah Hopkins, of Lebanon, Pa., U.S.A., there is now another vacancy open which entitles a member of the League to a salary of four pounds a week for purely nominal services. All red-headed men who are sound in body and mind and above the age of twenty-one years are eligible. Apply in person on Monday, at eleven o'clock, to Duncan Ross, at the offices of the League, 7 Pope's Court, Fleet Street."
"To the Red-headed League: Due to the inheritance from the late Ezekiah Hopkins of Lebanon, PA, USA, there is now another opening that offers a salary of four pounds a week for essentially nominal duties. All red-headed men who are in good physical and mental health and are over the age of twenty-one are eligible. Please apply in person on Monday at eleven o'clock to Duncan Ross at the League's offices, 7 Pope's Court, Fleet Street."
"What on earth does this mean?" I ejaculated, after I had twice read over the extraordinary announcement.
"What on earth does this mean?" I exclaimed, after I had read the extraordinary announcement twice.
Holmes chuckled and wriggled in his chair, as was his habit when in high spirits. "It is a little off the beaten track, isn't it?" said he. "And now, Mr. Wilson, off you go at scratch, and tell us all about yourself, your household, and the effect which this advertisement had upon your fortunes. You will first make a note, doctor, of the paper and the date."
Holmes laughed and shifted in his chair, which he tended to do when he was in a good mood. "It's a bit unusual, isn't it?" he said. "Now, Mr. Wilson, please start from the beginning and tell us everything about yourself, your home, and how this ad affected your life. Doctor, make sure to note the paper and the date first."
"It is The Morning Chronicle of April 27, 1890. Just two months ago."
"It is The Morning Chronicle from April 27, 1890. Just two months ago."
"Very good. Now, Mr. Wilson."
"Great. Now, Mr. Wilson."
"Well, it is just as I have been telling you, Mr. Sherlock Holmes," said Jabez Wilson, mopping his forehead, "I have a small pawnbroker's business at Saxe-Coburg Square, near the City. It's not a very large affair, and of late years it has not done more than just give me a living. I used to be able to keep two assistants, but now I only keep one; and I would have a job to pay him but that he is willing to come for half wages, so as to learn the business."
"Well, it's just like I’ve been telling you, Mr. Sherlock Holmes," Jabez Wilson said, wiping his forehead. "I run a small pawn shop in Saxe-Coburg Square, close to the City. It's not a big operation, and lately it’s only been enough to get by. I used to have two assistants, but now I only have one; and I would struggle to pay him if he weren't willing to work for half salary to learn the business."
"What is the name of this obliging youth?" asked Sherlock Holmes.
"What’s the name of this helpful young man?" asked Sherlock Holmes.
"His name is Vincent Spaulding, and he's not such a youth either. It's hard to say his age. I should not wish a smarter assistant, Mr. Holmes; and I know very well that he could better himself, and earn twice what I am able to give him. But, after all, if he is satisfied, why should I put ideas in his head?"
"His name is Vincent Spaulding, and he's not exactly a young guy. It's tough to tell how old he is. I wouldn't want a smarter assistant, Mr. Holmes; and I know he could find a better job and make twice what I'm paying him. But, if he's happy, why should I try to change that?"
"Why, indeed? You seem most fortunate in having an employee who comes under the full market price. It is not a common experience among employers in this age. I don't know that your assistant is not as remarkable as your advertisement."
"Why, really? You seem pretty lucky to have an employee who's below the full market price. That's not something most employers experience these days. I can't say your assistant isn't as impressive as your ad."
"Oh, he has his faults, too," said Mr. Wilson. "Never was such a fellow for photography. Snapping away with a camera when he ought to be improving his mind, and then diving down into the cellar like a rabbit into its hole to develop his pictures. That is his main fault; but, on the whole, he's a good worker. There's no vice in him."
"Oh, he has his faults, too," said Mr. Wilson. "He’s always snapping away with a camera when he should be working on himself, and then he dives down into the cellar like a rabbit into its hole to develop his photos. That's his biggest flaw; but overall, he's a good worker. There's no bad in him."
"He is still with you, I presume?"
"He’s still with you, I guess?"
"Yes, sir. He and a girl of fourteen, who does a bit of simple cooking, and keeps the place clean—that's all I have in the house, for I am a widower, and never had any family. We live very quietly, sir, the three of us; and we keep a roof over our heads, and pay our debts, if we do nothing more.
"Yes, sir. He and a fourteen-year-old girl, who does some basic cooking and keeps the place tidy—that's all I have in the house, since I'm a widower and never had a family. We live very quietly, sir, just the three of us; and we manage to keep a roof over our heads and pay our bills, even if that's all we do."
"The first thing that put us out was that advertisement. Spaulding, he came down into the office just this day eight weeks, with this very paper in his hand, and he says:
"The first thing that got us in trouble was that ad. Spaulding came into the office exactly eight weeks ago, holding this same paper, and he said:"
"'I wish to the Lord, Mr. Wilson, that I was a red-headed man.'
"'I wish to God, Mr. Wilson, that I was a red-headed guy.'"
"'Why that?' I asks.
"'Why that?' I ask."
"'Why,' says he, 'here's another vacancy on the League of the Red-headed Men. It's worth quite a little fortune to any man who gets it, and I understand that there are more vacancies than there are men, so that the trustees are at their wits' end what to do with the money. If my hair would only change color here's a nice little crib all ready for me to step into.'
"'Why,' he says, 'here’s another opening on the League of the Red-headed Men. It’s worth quite a bit to anyone who gets it, and I hear there are more openings than there are people, so the trustees are totally confused about what to do with the money. If only my hair would change color, here's a nice little spot all ready for me to jump into.'”
"'Why, what is it, then?' I asked. You see, Mr. Holmes, I am a very stay-at-home man, and, as my business came to me instead of my having to go to it, I was often weeks on end without putting my foot over the door mat. In that way I didn't know much of what was going on outside, and I was always glad of a bit of news.
"'Why, what is it, then?' I asked. You see, Mr. Holmes, I’m a bit of a homebody, and since my work comes to me instead of me having to go to it, I often went weeks without stepping outside. Because of that, I didn't know much about what was happening in the world, and I was always happy to hear some news."
"'Have you never heard of the League of the Red-headed Men?' he asked, with his eyes open.
"'Have you never heard of the League of the Red-headed Men?' he asked, with his eyes wide open.
"'Never.'
"Not a chance."
"'Why, I wonder at that, for you are eligible yourself for one of the vacancies.'
'Why do I find that surprising? You are qualified for one of the openings yourself.'
"'And what are they worth?' I asked.
"'And what are they worth?' I asked.
"'Oh, merely a couple of hundred a year, but the work is slight, and it need not interfere very much with one's other occupations.'
"'Oh, just a couple of hundred a year, but the work is minimal, and it doesn’t have to get in the way of other things you’re doing.'"
"Well, you can easily think that that made me prick up my ears, for the business has not been over good for some years, and an extra couple of hundred would have been very handy.
"Well, you can easily see why that caught my attention, since business hasn't been great for a few years, and an extra couple of hundred would have been really helpful."
"'Tell me all about it,' said I.
"Tell me everything," I said.
"'Well,' said he, showing me the advertisement, 'you can see for yourself that the League has a vacancy, and there is the address where you should apply for particulars. As far as I can make out, the League was founded by an American millionaire, Ezekiah Hopkins, who was very peculiar in his ways. He was himself red-headed, and he had a great sympathy for all red-headed men; so, when he died, it was found that he had left his enormous fortune in the hands of trustees, with instructions to apply the interest to the providing of easy berths to men whose hair is of that color. From all I hear it is splendid pay, and very little to do.'
"'Well,' he said, showing me the ad, 'you can see for yourself that the League has a vacancy, and here’s the address where you should apply for more details. From what I gather, the League was started by an American millionaire, Ezekiah Hopkins, who was quite eccentric. He had red hair himself and felt a great connection to all red-headed men; so when he passed away, it turned out he had left his massive fortune in the hands of trustees, with instructions to use the interest to provide easy jobs for men with that hair color. From what I hear, it pays well, and there’s not much work involved.'
"'But,' said I, 'there would be millions of red-headed men who would apply.'
"'But,' I said, 'there would be millions of red-headed men who would apply.'"
"'Not so many as you might think,' he answered. 'You see it is really confined to Londoners, and to grown men. This American had started from London when he was young, and he wanted to do the old town a good turn. Then, again, I have heard it is of no use your applying if your hair is light red, or dark red, or anything but real, bright, blazing, fiery red. Now, if you cared to apply, Mr. Wilson, you would just walk in; but perhaps it would hardly be worth your while to put yourself out of the way for the sake of a few hundred pounds.'
"'Not as many as you might think,' he replied. 'It's really limited to people from London and to adult men. This American left London when he was young, and he wanted to do the city a favor. Also, I've heard that there's no point in applying if your hair is light red, dark red, or anything other than true, bright, fiery red. Now, if you wanted to apply, Mr. Wilson, you could just walk in; but it might not be worth your effort for just a few hundred pounds.'
"Now it is a fact, gentlemen, as you may see for yourselves, that my hair is of a very full and rich tint, so that it seemed to me that, if there was to be any competition in the matter, I stood as good a chance as any man that I had ever met. Vincent Spaulding seemed to know so much about it that I thought he might prove useful, so I just ordered him to put up the shutters for the day, and to come right away with me. He was very willing to have a holiday, so we shut the business up, and started off for the address that was given us in the advertisement.
"Now, it’s clear, guys, as you can see for yourselves, that my hair has a really rich and full color. So I figured that if there was any competition in this, I had just as good a chance as any man I’ve ever met. Vincent Spaulding seemed to know plenty about it, so I thought he could be helpful, and I told him to close up the shop for the day and come with me right away. He was more than happy to take a day off, so we locked up the business and set off for the address listed in the ad."
"I never hope to see such a sight as that again, Mr. Holmes. From north, south, east, and west every man who had a shade of red in his hair had tramped into the City to answer the advertisement. Fleet Street was choked with red-headed folk, and Pope's Court looked like a coster's orange barrow. I should not have thought there were so many in the whole country as were brought together by that single advertisement. Every shade of color they were—straw, lemon, orange, brick, Irish setter, liver, clay; but, as Spaulding said, there were not many who had the real vivid flame-colored tint. When I saw how many were waiting, I would have given it up in despair; but Spaulding would not hear of it. How he did it I could not imagine, but he pushed and pulled and butted until he got me through the crowd, and right up to the steps which led to the office. There was a double stream upon the stair, some going up in hope, and some coming back dejected; but we wedged in as well as we could, and soon found ourselves in the office."
"I never want to see a sight like that again, Mr. Holmes. From the north, south, east, and west, every man with even a bit of red in his hair had marched into the City to respond to the ad. Fleet Street was packed with red-headed people, and Pope's Court looked like a fruit vendor's orange cart. I wouldn't have thought there were so many in the entire country as were gathered by that one advertisement. They came in every shade—straw, lemon, orange, brick, Irish setter, liver, clay; but, as Spaulding said, there weren't many with the true bright flame-colored hue. When I saw how many were waiting, I would have given up in despair; but Spaulding wouldn’t hear of it. I couldn’t figure out how he did it, but he pushed and pulled until he got me through the crowd and right up to the steps that led to the office. There was a double flow on the stairs—some going up with hope and others coming back disappointed; but we squeezed in as best as we could and soon found ourselves in the office."
"Your experience has been a most entertaining one," remarked Holmes, as his client paused and refreshed his memory with a huge pinch of snuff. "Pray continue your very interesting statement."
"Your experience has been quite entertaining," Holmes said, as his client stopped to clear his mind with a big pinch of snuff. "Please continue with your very interesting story."
"There was nothing in the office but a couple of wooden chairs and a deal table, behind which sat a small man, with a head that was even redder than mine. He said a few words to each candidate as he came up, and then he always managed to find some fault in them which would disqualify them. Getting a vacancy did not seem to be such a very easy matter after all. However, when our turn came, the little man was much more favorable to me than to any of the others, and he closed the door as we entered, so that he might have a private word with us.
"There was nothing in the office except a couple of wooden chairs and a table, behind which sat a small man with a head redder than mine. He said a few words to each candidate as they approached, and then he always managed to find some flaw that would disqualify them. Getting a job didn’t seem like an easy task after all. However, when it was our turn, the small man was much more positive towards me than any of the others, and he closed the door as we walked in so he could have a private word with us."
"'This is Mr. Jabez Wilson,' said my assistant, 'and he is willing to fill a vacancy in the League.'
"'This is Mr. Jabez Wilson,' my assistant said, 'and he's ready to take a spot in the League.'"
"'And he is admirably suited for it,' the other answered. 'He has every requirement. I cannot recall when I have seen anything so fine.' He took a step backward, cocked his head on one side, and gazed at my hair until I felt quite bashful. Then suddenly he plunged forward, wrung my hand, and congratulated me warmly on my success.
"'And he is perfect for it,' the other replied. 'He has everything needed. I can't remember the last time I saw something so impressive.' He stepped back, tilted his head to the side, and stared at my hair until I felt a bit shy. Then, out of nowhere, he lunged forward, shook my hand, and congratulated me enthusiastically on my success.
"'It would be injustice to hesitate,' said he. 'You will, however, I am sure, excuse me for taking an obvious precaution.' With that he seized my hair in both his hands, and tugged until I yelled with the pain. 'There is water in your eyes,' said he, as he released me. 'I perceive that all is as it should be. But we have to be careful, for we have twice been deceived by wigs and once by paint. I could tell you tales of cobbler's wax which would disgust you with human nature.' He stepped over to the window and shouted through it at the top of his voice that the vacancy was filled. A groan of disappointment came up from below, and the folk all trooped away in different directions, until there was not a red head to be seen except my own and that of the manager.
"'It would be unfair to hesitate,' he said. 'However, I'm sure you'll understand that I need to take a simple precaution.' With that, he grabbed my hair with both hands and pulled until I cried out in pain. 'There are tears in your eyes,' he said as he let go. 'I see that everything is as it should be. But we have to be cautious, as we've been deceived by wigs twice and once by makeup. I could share stories of cobbler's wax that would make you lose faith in humanity.' He walked over to the window and shouted at the top of his lungs that the vacancy was filled. A groan of disappointment rose from below, and the people quickly scattered in different directions, until there wasn't a single redhead in sight except for me and the manager."
"'My name,' said he, 'is Mr. Duncan Ross, and I am myself one of the pensioners upon the fund left by our noble benefactor. Are you a married man, Mr. Wilson? Have you a family?'
"'My name,' he said, 'is Mr. Duncan Ross, and I am one of the pensioners from the fund left by our generous benefactor. Are you married, Mr. Wilson? Do you have a family?'"
"I answered that I had not.
I said I hadn’t.
"His face fell immediately.
"His expression changed immediately."
"'Dear me!' he said, gravely, 'that is very serious indeed! I am sorry to hear you say that. The fund was, of course, for the propagation and spread of the red heads as well as for their maintenance. It is exceedingly unfortunate that you should be a bachelor.'
"'Oh dear!' he said seriously, 'that’s quite serious! I'm sorry to hear you say that. The fund was, of course, meant for promoting and supporting the redheads as well as for their upkeep. It's really unfortunate that you happen to be a bachelor.'"
"My face lengthened at this, Mr. Holmes, for I thought that I was not to have the vacancy after all; but, after thinking it over for a few minutes, he said that it would be all right.
"My expression changed at this, Mr. Holmes, because I thought I wouldn’t get the job after all; but after pondering it for a few minutes, he assured me that everything would be fine."
"'In the case of another,' said he, 'the objection might be fatal, but we must stretch a point in favor of a man with such a head of hair as yours. When shall you be able to enter upon your new duties?'
"'In another case,' he said, 'the objection might be serious, but we have to make an exception for a man with such a great head of hair like yours. When will you be able to start your new duties?'"
"'Well, it is a little awkward, for I have a business already,' said I.
"'Well, it's a bit awkward since I already have a job,' I said."
"'Oh, never mind about that, Mr. Wilson!' said Vincent Spaulding. 'I shall be able to look after that for you.'
"'Oh, don't worry about that, Mr. Wilson!' said Vincent Spaulding. 'I can take care of that for you.'"
"'What would be the hours?' I asked.
"'What would the hours be?' I asked.
"'Ten to two.'
'Ten minutes to two.'
"Now a pawnbroker's business is mostly done of an evening, Mr. Holmes, especially Thursday and Friday evenings, which is just before pay day; so it would suit me very well to earn a little in the mornings. Besides, I knew that my assistant was a good man, and that he would see to anything that turned up.
"Now, a pawnbroker mostly operates in the evenings, Mr. Holmes, especially on Thursday and Friday evenings, right before payday; so it works out perfectly for me to make a little extra cash in the mornings. Plus, I knew my assistant was a reliable guy, and he would handle anything that came up."
"'That would suit me very well,' said I. 'And the pay?'
"'That sounds perfect for me,' I said. 'What about the pay?'"
"'Is four pounds a week.'
"Is four pounds a week?"
"'And the work?'
"'What about the work?'"
"'Is purely nominal.'
"Is just a name."
"'What do you call purely nominal?'
"What do you mean by purely nominal?"
"'Well, you have to be in the office, or at least in the building, the whole time. If you leave, you forfeit your whole position forever. The will is very clear upon that point. You don't comply with the conditions if you budge from the office during that time.'
"'Well, you need to be in the office, or at least in the building, the entire time. If you leave, you lose your entire position for good. The will is really clear about that. You don't meet the conditions if you step out of the office during that time.'"
"'It's only four hours a day, and I should not think of leaving,' said I.
"It's just four hours a day, and I shouldn't think about leaving," I said.
"'No excuse will avail,' said Mr. Duncan Ross, 'neither sickness, nor business, nor anything else. There you must stay, or you lose your billet.'
"'No excuses will work,' said Mr. Duncan Ross, 'not illness, not work, nothing. You have to stay there, or you'll lose your position.'"
"'And the work?'
"What's the work?"
"'Is to copy out the "Encyclopædia Britannica." There is the first volume of it in that press. You must find your own ink, pens, and blotting paper, but we provide this table and chair. Will you be ready to-morrow?'
"'Is to copy out the "Encyclopædia Britannica." The first volume is in that printer. You need to get your own ink, pens, and blotting paper, but we provide this table and chair. Will you be ready tomorrow?'"
"'Certainly,' I answered.
"Definitely," I replied.
"'Then, good-by, Mr. Jabez Wilson, and let me congratulate you once more on the important position which you have been fortunate enough to gain.' He bowed me out of the room, and I went home with my assistant hardly knowing what to say or do, I was so pleased at my own good fortune.
"'Then, goodbye, Mr. Jabez Wilson, and let me congratulate you again on the important position you've been lucky enough to get.' He escorted me out of the room, and I went home with my assistant, barely knowing what to say or do because I was so thrilled about my own good luck."
"Well, I thought over the matter all day, and by evening I was in low spirits again; for I had quite persuaded myself that the whole affair must be some great hoax or fraud, though what its object might be I could not imagine. It seemed altogether past belief that anyone could make such a will, or that they would pay such a sum for doing anything so simple as copying out the 'Encyclopædia Britannica.' Vincent Spaulding did what he could to cheer me up, but by bed time I had reasoned myself out of the whole thing. However, in the morning I determined to have a look at it anyhow, so I bought a penny bottle of ink, and with a quill pen and seven sheets of foolscap paper I started off for Pope's Court.
"Well, I thought about it all day, and by evening I was feeling down again; I had convinced myself that the whole thing must be some kind of big joke or scam, though I couldn't figure out what the purpose would be. It seemed unbelievable that anyone could make such a will, or that they would pay so much for something as simple as copying out the 'Encyclopædia Britannica.' Vincent Spaulding did his best to lift my spirits, but by bedtime, I had talked myself out of the whole idea. However, in the morning, I decided to check it out anyway, so I bought a penny bottle of ink, and with a quill pen and seven sheets of foolscap paper, I headed off for Pope's Court."
"Well, to my surprise and delight everything was as right as possible. The table was set out ready for me, and Mr. Duncan Ross was there to see that I got fairly to work. He started me off upon the letter A, and then he left me; but he would drop in from time to time to see that all was right with me. At two o'clock he bade me good-day, complimented me upon the amount that I had written, and locked the door of the office after me.
"Well, to my surprise and delight, everything was as good as it could be. The table was set up and ready for me, and Mr. Duncan Ross was there to make sure I got to work properly. He got me started on the letter A and then left me to it, but he would check in every so often to make sure everything was going well. At two o'clock, he said goodbye, praised me for how much I had written, and locked the office door behind me."
"This went on day after day, Mr. Holmes, and on Saturday the manager came in and planked down four golden sovereigns for my week's work. It was the same next week, and the same the week after. Every morning I was there at ten, and every afternoon I left at two. By degrees Mr. Duncan Ross took to coming in only once of a morning, and then, after a time, he did not come in at all. Still, of course, I never dared to leave the room for an instant, for I was not sure when he might come, and the billet was such a good one, and suited me so well, that I would not risk the loss of it.
"This went on day after day, Mr. Holmes, and on Saturday the manager came in and dropped down four gold sovereigns for my week's work. It was the same the next week, and the same the week after. Every morning I was there by ten, and every afternoon I left at two. Gradually, Mr. Duncan Ross started coming in just once in the morning, and eventually, he stopped coming in altogether. Still, of course, I never dared to leave the room for even a moment, because I wasn't sure when he might show up, and the job was so great and fit me so well that I didn't want to risk losing it."
"Eight weeks passed away like this, and I had written about Abbots, and Archery, and Armor, and Architecture, and Attica, and hoped with diligence that I might get on to the Bs before very long. It cost me something in foolscap, and I had pretty nearly filled a shelf with my writings. And then suddenly the whole business came to an end."
"Eight weeks went by like this, and I had written about Abbots, Archery, Armor, Architecture, and Attica, and I was diligently hoping to get to the Bs soon. It cost me a bit in paper, and I had almost filled a shelf with my writings. Then suddenly, everything came to a halt."
"To an end?"
"To the end?"
"Yes, sir. And no later than this morning. I went to my work as usual at ten o'clock, but the door was shut and locked, with a little square of cardboard hammered onto the middle of the panel with a tack. Here it is, and you can read for yourself."
"Yes, sir. And not later than this morning. I went to work like usual at ten o'clock, but the door was shut and locked, with a small square of cardboard nailed to the middle of the panel with a tack. Here it is, and you can read it yourself."
He held up a piece of white cardboard, about the size of a sheet of note paper. It read in this fashion:
He held up a white piece of cardboard, roughly the size of a sheet of notebook paper. It said this:
"THE RED-HEADED LEAGUE IS DISSOLVED.
Oct. 9, 1890."
"THE RED-HEADED LEAGUE IS OVER."
Oct. 9, 1890.
Sherlock Holmes and I surveyed this curt announcement and the rueful face behind it, until the comical side of the affair so completely overtopped every consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter.
Sherlock Holmes and I looked at this brief announcement and the regretful face behind it until the funny side of the situation completely overshadowed everything else, and we both erupted into laughter.
"I cannot see that there is anything very funny," cried our client, flushing up to the roots of his flaming head. "If you can do nothing better than laugh at me, I can go elsewhere."
"I don’t see anything funny at all," our client shouted, his face turning bright red. "If all you can do is laugh at me, I’ll take my business somewhere else."
"No, no," cried Holmes, shoving him back into the chair from which he had half risen. "I really wouldn't miss your case for the world. It is most refreshingly unusual. But there is, if you will excuse my saying so, something just a little funny about it. Pray what steps did you take when you found the card upon the door?"
"No, no," Holmes exclaimed, pushing him back into the chair he had partially risen from. "I honestly wouldn’t miss your case for anything. It’s really refreshingly unusual. But, if you don't mind me saying, there's something a bit odd about it. What actions did you take when you found the card on the door?"
"I was staggered, sir. I did not know what to do. Then I called at the offices round, but none of them seemed to know anything about it. Finally, I went to the landlord, who is an accountant living on the ground floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what had become of the Red-headed League. He said that he had never heard of any such body. Then I asked him who Mr. Duncan Ross was. He answered that the name was new to him.
"I was shocked, sir. I didn’t know what to do. Then I checked with the nearby offices, but none of them seemed to know anything about it. Finally, I went to the landlord, who is an accountant living on the ground floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what happened to the Red-headed League. He said he had never heard of such a group. Then I asked him who Mr. Duncan Ross was. He replied that the name was unfamiliar to him."
"'Well' said I, 'the gentleman at No. 4.'
"'Well,' I said, 'the guy at No. 4.'"
"'What, the red-headed man?'
"'What, the redhead?'"
"'Yes.'
'Yes.'
"'Oh,' said he, 'his name was William Morris. He was a solicitor, and was using my room as a temporary convenience until his new premises were ready. He moved out yesterday.'
"'Oh,' he said, 'his name was William Morris. He was a lawyer, and he was using my room as a temporary arrangement until his new office was ready. He moved out yesterday.'"
"'Where could I find him?'
"Where can I find him?"
"'Oh, at his new offices. He did tell me the address. Yes, 17 King Edward Street, near St. Paul's.'
"'Oh, at his new office. He did tell me the address. Yes, 17 King Edward Street, near St. Paul's.'"
"I started off, Mr. Holmes, but when I got to that address it was a manufactory of artificial knee-caps, and no one in it had ever heard of either Mr. William Morris or Mr. Duncan Ross."
"I set out, Mr. Holmes, but when I arrived at that address, it was a factory for artificial knee caps, and nobody there had ever heard of either Mr. William Morris or Mr. Duncan Ross."
"And what did you do then?" asked Holmes.
"And what did you do next?" asked Holmes.
"I went home to Saxe-Coburg Square, and I took the advice of my assistant. But he could not help me in any way. He could only say that if I waited I should hear by post. But that was not quite good enough, Mr. Holmes. I did not wish to lose such a place without a struggle, so, as I had heard that you were good enough to give advice to poor folk who were in need of it, I came right away to you."
"I went home to Saxe-Coburg Square and took my assistant's advice. But he really couldn't help me at all. He just said that if I waited, I would hear from them by mail. But that wasn't good enough, Mr. Holmes. I didn't want to lose such an opportunity without a fight, so since I heard you were kind enough to give advice to those in need, I came straight to you."
"And you did very wisely," said Holmes. "Your case is an exceedingly remarkable one, and I shall be happy to look into it. From what you have told me I think that it is possible that graver issues hang from it than might at first sight appear."
"And you made a very smart choice," said Holmes. "Your situation is quite extraordinary, and I’d be glad to investigate it. Based on what you’ve shared, I believe there could be more serious issues at play than they might seem at first."
"Grave enough!" said Mr. Jabez Wilson. "Why, I have lost four pound a week."
"That's serious!" said Mr. Jabez Wilson. "I've lost four pounds a week."
"As far as you are personally concerned," remarked Holmes, "I do not see that you have any grievance against this extraordinary league. On the contrary, you are, as I understand, richer by some thirty pounds, to say nothing of the minute knowledge which you have gained on every subject which comes under the letter A. You have lost nothing by them."
"As far as you’re concerned," Holmes remarked, "I don’t see that you have any reason to complain about this unusual group. On the contrary, from what I gather, you’re actually richer by about thirty pounds, not to mention the detailed knowledge you’ve gained on every topic that starts with the letter A. You haven’t lost anything from them."
"No, sir. But I want to find out about them, and who they are, and what their object was in playing this prank—if it was a prank—upon me. It was a pretty expensive joke for them, for it cost them two-and-thirty pounds."
"No, sir. But I want to learn about them, who they are, and what their purpose was in pulling this prank—if it was a prank—on me. It was a pretty costly joke for them, since it set them back thirty-two pounds."
"We shall endeavor to clear up these points for you. And, first, one or two questions, Mr. Wilson. This assistant of yours who first called your attention to the advertisement—how long had he been with you?"
"We will try to clarify these points for you. First, a couple of questions, Mr. Wilson. This assistant of yours who first brought the advertisement to your attention—how long had he been working with you?"
"About a month then."
"About a month ago."
"How did he come?"
"How did he arrive?"
"In answer to an advertisement."
"In response to an ad."
"Was he the only applicant?"
"Was he the only applicant?"
"No, I had a dozen."
"No, I had twelve."
"Why did you pick him?"
"Why did you choose him?"
"Because he was handy and would come cheap."
"Because he was skilled and would do it for a low cost."
"At half wages, in fact."
"Actually at half pay."
"Yes."
"Yep."
"What is he like, this Vincent Spaulding?"
"What’s he like, this Vincent Spaulding?"
"Small, stout-built, very quick in his ways, no hair on his face, though he's not short of thirty. Has a white splash of acid upon his forehead."
"He's small and stocky, really quick in his movements, and has no hair on his face, even though he's over thirty. There's a white acid splash on his forehead."
Holmes sat up in his chair in considerable excitement. "I thought as much," said he. "Have you ever observed that his ears are pierced for earrings?"
Holmes sat up in his chair, feeling quite excited. "I thought so," he said. "Have you ever noticed that his ears are pierced for earrings?"
"Yes, sir. He told me that a gypsy had done it for him when he was a lad."
"Yeah, sir. He said a gypsy had done it for him when he was a kid."
"Hum!" said Holmes, sinking back in deep thought. "He is still with you?"
"Hum!" said Holmes, leaning back in deep thought. "Is he still with you?"
"Oh, yes, sir; I have only just left him."
"Oh, yes, sir; I just left him."
"And has your business been attended to in your absence?"
"And has someone taken care of your business while you were away?"
"Nothing to complain of, sir. There's never very much to do of a morning."
"Nothing to complain about, sir. There's not usually much to do in the morning."
"That will do, Mr. Wilson. I shall be happy to give you an opinion upon the subject in the course of a day or two. To-day is Saturday, and I hope that by Monday we may come to a conclusion."
"That works, Mr. Wilson. I'll be glad to share my thoughts on the matter in a day or two. Today is Saturday, and I hope that by Monday we can reach a conclusion."
"Well, Watson," said Holmes, when our visitor had left us, "what do you make of it all?"
"Well, Watson," Holmes said after our guest had left, "what do you think of it all?"
"I make nothing of it," I answered frankly. "It is a most mysterious business."
"I don't think much of it," I replied honestly. "It's a really mysterious situation."
"As a rule," said Holmes, "the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify. But I must be prompt over this matter."
"As a rule," Holmes said, "the weirder something is, the less mysterious it turns out to be. It's your ordinary, unremarkable crimes that are truly puzzling, just like how an average face is the hardest to recognize. But I need to act quickly on this."
"What are you going to do, then?" I asked.
"What are you going to do now?" I asked.
"To smoke," he answered. "It is quite a three-pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes." He curled himself up in his chair, with his thin knees drawn up to his hawklike nose, and there he sat with his eyes closed and his black clay pipe thrusting out like the bill of some strange bird. I had come to the conclusion that he had dropped asleep, and indeed was nodding myself, when he suddenly sprang out of his chair with the gesture of a man who has made up his mind, and put his pipe down upon the mantelpiece.
"To smoke," he replied. "It's definitely a three-pipe problem, and I'm asking you not to talk to me for fifty minutes." He curled up in his chair, his thin knees pulled up to his sharp nose, and sat there with his eyes closed, his black clay pipe sticking out like the beak of some unusual bird. I thought he had fallen asleep, and I was starting to nod off myself, when he suddenly jumped out of his chair with the determination of someone who has made a decision and placed his pipe on the mantel.
"Sarasate plays at St. James's Hall this afternoon," he remarked. "What do you think, Watson? Could your patients spare you for a few hours?"
"Sarasate is performing at St. James's Hall this afternoon," he said. "What do you think, Watson? Could your patients let you take a couple of hours off?"
"I have nothing to do to-day. My practice is never very absorbing."
"I have nothing planned for today. My work is never very engaging."
"Then put on your hat and come. I am going through the City first, and we can have some lunch on the way. I observe that there is a good deal of German music on the programme, which is rather more to my taste than Italian or French. It is introspective, and I want to introspect. Come along!"
"Then put on your hat and let's go. I'm heading through the City first, and we can grab some lunch on the way. I noticed there's a lot of German music on the schedule, which I prefer over Italian or French. It's reflective, and I want to reflect. Come on!"
We traveled by the Underground as far as Aldersgate; and a short walk took us to Saxe-Coburg Square, the scene of the singular story which we had listened to in the morning. It was a poky, little, shabby-genteel place, where four lines of dingy, two-storied brick houses looked out into a small railed-in inclosure, where a lawn of weedy grass, and a few clumps of faded laurel bushes made a hard fight against a smoke-laden and uncongenial atmosphere. Three gilt balls and a brown board with JABEZ WILSON in white letters, upon a corner house, announced the place where our red-headed client carried on his business. Sherlock Holmes stopped in front of it with his head on one side, and looked it all over, with his eyes shining brightly between puckered lids. Then he walked slowly up the street, and then down again to the corner, still looking keenly at the houses. Finally he returned to the pawnbroker's and, having thumped vigorously upon the pavement with his stick two or three times, he went up to the door and knocked. It was instantly opened by a bright-looking, clean-shaven young fellow, who asked him to step in.
We took the Underground to Aldersgate, and after a short walk, we arrived at Saxe-Coburg Square, the setting of the unusual story we had heard earlier that morning. It was a cramped, little, shabby yet pretentious place, where four rows of dull, two-story brick houses faced a small fenced area, featuring a patchy lawn and a few clusters of faded laurel bushes struggling against a smoky and uninviting atmosphere. Three gilded balls and a brown sign with JABEZ WILSON in white letters on a corner house indicated where our red-haired client ran his business. Sherlock Holmes paused in front of it, tilting his head to the side as he took in the scene, his eyes sparkling between squinting lids. He then slowly walked up the street, circled back down to the corner, still scrutinizing the houses. Finally, he returned to the pawnbroker's, thumping the pavement vigorously with his cane a couple of times, then approached the door and knocked. It was opened immediately by a sharp-looking, clean-shaven young man who invited him inside.
"Thank you," said Holmes, "I only wished to ask you how you would go from here to the Strand."
"Thanks," Holmes said, "I just wanted to ask how you'd get from here to the Strand."
"Third right, fourth left," answered the assistant, promptly, closing the door.
"Third right, fourth left," replied the assistant quickly, shutting the door.
"Smart fellow, that," observed Holmes as we walked away. "He is, in my judgment, the fourth smartest man in London, and for daring I am not sure that he has not a claim to be third. I have known something of him before."
"Smart guy, that one," Holmes said as we walked away. "In my opinion, he’s the fourth smartest man in London, and for bravery, I’m not sure he doesn't deserve to be third. I’ve known a bit about him before."
"Evidently," said I, "Mr. Wilson's assistant counts for a good deal in this mystery of the Red-headed League. I am sure that you inquired your way merely in order that you might see him."
"Evidently," I said, "Mr. Wilson's assistant plays a significant role in this mystery of the Red-headed League. I'm sure you asked for directions just so you could see him."
"Not him."
"Not that guy."
"What then?"
"What's next?"
"The knees of his trousers."
"His pants' knees."
"And what did you see?"
"And what did you see?"
"What I expected to see."
"What I thought I'd see."
"Why did you beat the pavement?"
"Why were you out walking around?"
"My dear doctor, this is a time for observation, not for talk. We are spies in an enemy's country. We know something of Saxe-Coburg Square. Let us now explore the parts which lie behind it."
"My dear doctor, this is a time for observation, not conversation. We are spies in enemy territory. We know a bit about Saxe-Coburg Square. Now, let's take a look at the areas that are behind it."
The road in which we found ourselves as we turned round the corner from the retired Saxe-Coburg Square presented as great a contrast to it as the front of a picture does to the back. It was one of the main arteries which convey the traffic of the City to the north and west. The roadway was blocked with the immense stream of commerce flowing in a double tide inward and outward, while the footpaths were black with the hurrying swarm of pedestrians. It was difficult to realize, as we looked at the line of fine shops and stately business premises, that they really abutted on the other side upon the faded and stagnant square which we had just quitted.
The street we found ourselves on as we turned the corner from the quiet Saxe-Coburg Square was a stark contrast, like the front of a painting compared to the back. It was one of the main routes that carried the city's traffic to the north and west. The road was clogged with a massive flow of commerce moving in two directions, while the sidewalks were packed with rushing pedestrians. It was hard to believe, as we looked at the line of upscale shops and impressive business buildings, that they were right next to the dull and stagnant square we had just left.
"Let me see," said Holmes, standing at the corner, and glancing along the line, "I should like just to remember the order of the houses here. It is a hobby of mine to have an exact knowledge of London. There is Mortimer's, the tobacconist; the little newspaper shop, the Coburg branch of the City and Suburban Bank, the Vegetarian Restaurant, and McFarlane's carriage-building depot. That carries us right on to the other block. And now, doctor, we've done our work, so it's time we had some play. A sandwich and a cup of coffee, and then off to violin-land, where all is sweetness, and delicacy, and harmony, and there are no red-headed clients to vex us with their conundrums."
"Let me see," said Holmes, standing at the corner and looking down the line. "I’d like to remember the order of the houses here. It's a hobby of mine to have a complete knowledge of London. There’s Mortimer's, the tobacco shop; the little newspaper stand; the Coburg branch of the City and Suburban Bank; the Vegetarian Restaurant; and McFarlane's carriage-building shop. That brings us right up to the next block. Now, doctor, we’ve done our work, so it’s time to have some fun. A sandwich and a cup of coffee, then off to the land of violins, where everything is sweet, delicate, and harmonious, and we won’t have any red-headed clients to annoy us with their puzzles."
My friend was an enthusiastic musician, being himself not only a very capable performer, but a composer of no ordinary merit. All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness, gently waving his long thin fingers in time to the music, while his gently smiling face and his languid, dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes the sleuth-hound, Holmes the relentless, keen-witted, ready-handed criminal agent, as it was possible to conceive. In his singular character the dual nature alternately asserted itself, and his extreme exactness and astuteness represented, as I have often thought, the reaction against the poetic and contemplative mood which occasionally predominated in him. The swing of his nature took him from extreme languor to devouring energy; and, as I knew well, he was never so truly formidable as when, for days on end, he had been lounging in his armchair amid his improvisations and his black-letter editions. Then it was that the lust of the chase would suddenly come upon him, and that his brilliant reasoning power would rise to the level of intuition, until those who were unacquainted with his methods would look askance at him as on a man whose knowledge was not that of other mortals. When I saw him that afternoon so enwrapped in the music at St. James's Hall, I felt that an evil time might be coming upon those whom he had set himself to hunt down.
My friend was an enthusiastic musician, not just a talented performer but also a composer of considerable skill. All afternoon, he sat in the audience, completely wrapped in happiness, gently waving his long, slim fingers to the music, while his softly smiling face and dreamy, relaxed eyes were worlds apart from those of Holmes the sleuth, Holmes the relentless, sharp-minded, quick-handed detective. In his unique personality, this dual nature would alternate—his extreme precision and cleverness were, as I often thought, a reaction against the poetic and reflective state that sometimes took over him. His mood swung from total laziness to intense energy, and I knew he was never more intimidating than when he had been lounging in his armchair for days, lost in improvisations and rare books. That's when the thrill of the hunt would suddenly seize him, and his brilliant reasoning would elevate to the level of intuition, making those unfamiliar with his methods view him with suspicion, as if he possessed knowledge beyond that of ordinary people. Watching him that afternoon so absorbed in the music at St. James's Hall, I sensed that trouble might be brewing for those he had set out to track down.
"You want to go home, no doubt, doctor," he remarked, as we emerged.
"You want to go home, no doubt about it, doctor," he said as we stepped outside.
"Yes, it would be as well."
"Yeah, it would be too."
"And I have some business to do which will take some hours. This business at Saxe-Coburg Square is serious."
"And I have some work to do that will take a few hours. This work at Saxe-Coburg Square is important."
"Why serious?"
"Why so serious?"
"A considerable crime is in contemplation. I have every reason to believe that we shall be in time to stop it. But to-day being Saturday rather complicates matters. I shall want your help to-night."
"A significant crime is being planned. I have every reason to think we will be able to prevent it in time. However, today being Saturday makes things a bit more complicated. I'll need your help tonight."
"At what time?"
"What time?"
"Ten will be early enough."
"Ten is early enough."
"I shall be at Baker Street at ten."
"I'll be at Baker Street at 10."
"Very well. And, I say, doctor! there may be some little danger, so kindly put your army revolver in your pocket." He waved his hand, turned on his heel, and disappeared in an instant among the crowd.
"Alright then. And, I have to say, doctor! there might be a bit of danger, so please put your army revolver in your pocket." He waved his hand, turned on his heel, and vanished instantly among the crowd.
I trust that I am not more dense than my neighbors, but I was always oppressed with a sense of my own stupidity in my dealings with Sherlock Holmes. Here I had heard what he had heard, I had seen what he had seen, and yet from his words it was evident that he saw clearly not only what had happened, but what was about to happen, while to me the whole business was still confused and grotesque. As I drove home to my house in Kensington I thought over it all, from the extraordinary story of the red-headed copier of the "Encyclopædia" down to the visit to Saxe-Coburg Square, and the ominous words with which he had parted from me. What was this nocturnal expedition, and why should I go armed? Where were we going, and what were we to do? I had the hint from Holmes that this smooth-faced pawnbroker's assistant was a formidable man—a man who might play a deep game. I tried to puzzle it out, but gave it up in despair, and set the matter aside until night should bring an explanation.
I trust I'm not dimmer than my neighbors, but I always felt a bit stupid when dealing with Sherlock Holmes. I had heard what he heard, seen what he saw, and yet it was clear from his words that he understood not just what had happened, but also what was about to happen, while everything felt confusing and bizarre to me. As I drove home to my house in Kensington, I thought over everything, from the strange story of the red-headed copywriter of the "Encyclopædia" to our visit to Saxe-Coburg Square, along with the ominous words he had left me with. What was this nighttime adventure about, and why did I need to be armed? Where were we headed, and what were we going to do? Holmes hinted that this smooth-faced pawnbroker's assistant was a serious person—a man who might have something complicated planned. I tried to figure it out, but I eventually gave up in frustration and decided to wait until night for some answers.
It was a quarter-past nine when I started from home and made my way across the Park, and so through Oxford Street to Baker Street. Two hansoms were standing at the door, and, as I entered the passage, I heard the sound of voices from above. On entering his room, I found Holmes in animated conversation with two men, one of whom I recognized as Peter Jones, the official police agent; while the other was a long, thin, sad-faced man, with a very shiny hat and oppressively respectable frock coat.
It was 9:15 when I left home and walked through the Park, then along Oxford Street to Baker Street. Two cabs were parked at the door, and as I stepped into the hallway, I heard voices coming from upstairs. When I walked into his room, I found Holmes chatting excitedly with two men. One of them was Peter Jones, the official police agent, and the other was a tall, thin man with a sad expression, a very shiny hat, and an overly formal frock coat.
"Ha! our party is complete," said Holmes, buttoning up his pea-jacket, and taking his heavy hunting crop from the rack. "Watson, I think you know Mr. Jones, of Scotland Yard? Let me introduce you to Mr. Merryweather, who is to be our companion in to-night's adventure."
"Ha! Our group is all here," said Holmes, buttoning up his pea coat and grabbing his heavy hunting whip from the rack. "Watson, I believe you know Mr. Jones from Scotland Yard? Let me introduce you to Mr. Merryweather, who will be joining us on tonight's adventure."
"We're hunting in couples again, doctor, you see," said Jones, in his consequential way. "Our friend here is a wonderful man for starting a chase. All he wants is an old dog to help him do the running down."
"We're out hunting in pairs again, doctor, you see," said Jones, in his important way. "Our friend here is great at starting a chase. All he needs is an old dog to help him do the chasing."
"I hope a wild goose may not prove to be the end of our chase," observed Mr. Merryweather gloomily.
"I hope a wild goose chase isn't the end of our search," Mr. Merryweather said gloomily.
"You may place considerable confidence in Mr. Holmes, sir," said the police agent loftily. "He has his own little methods, which are, if he won't mind my saying so, just a little too theoretical and fantastic, but he has the makings of a detective in him. It is not too much to say that once or twice, as in that business of the Sholto murder and the Agra treasure, he has been more nearly correct than the official force."
"You can trust Mr. Holmes quite a bit, sir," said the police officer proudly. "He has his own unique methods, which are, if you don’t mind me saying, a bit too theoretical and out there, but he certainly has what it takes to be a detective. It’s fair to say that once or twice, like in the Sholto murder case and the Agra treasure incident, he has been more accurate than the official police force."
"Oh, if you say so, Mr. Jones, it is all right!" said the stranger, with deference. "Still, I confess that I miss my rubber. It is the first Saturday night for seven-and-twenty years that I have not had my rubber."
"Oh, if you say so, Mr. Jones, that's fine!" said the stranger respectfully. "Still, I have to admit that I miss my card game. This is the first Saturday night in twenty-seven years that I haven't played my game."
"I think you will find," said Sherlock Holmes, "that you will play for a higher stake to-night than you have ever done yet, and that the play will be more exciting. For you, Mr. Merryweather, the stake will be some thirty thousand pounds; and for you, Jones, it will be the man upon whom you wish to lay your hands."
"I think you'll find," said Sherlock Holmes, "that tonight you'll be playing for a higher stake than ever before, and that the game will be more thrilling. For you, Mr. Merryweather, the stake will be around thirty thousand pounds; and for you, Jones, it'll be the man you want to capture."
"John Clay, the murderer, thief, smasher, and forger. He's a young man, Mr. Merryweather, but he is at the head of his profession, and I would rather have my bracelets on him than on any criminal in London. He's a remarkable man, is young John Clay. His grandfather was a Royal Duke, and he himself has been to Eton and Oxford. His brain is as cunning as his fingers, and though we meet signs of him at every turn, we never know where to find the man himself. He'll crack a crib in Scotland one week, and be raising money to build an orphanage in Cornwall the next. I've been on his track for years, and have never set eyes on him yet."
"John Clay, the murderer, thief, vandal, and forger. He’s a young man, Mr. Merryweather, but he’s at the top of his game, and I’d prefer to have my cuffs on him than on any criminal in London. He’s an exceptional individual, young John Clay. His grandfather was a Royal Duke, and he himself has attended Eton and Oxford. His mind is as clever as his hands, and though we come across signs of him everywhere, we never truly know where to find him. He’ll pull off a heist in Scotland one week and then be raising funds to build an orphanage in Cornwall the next. I’ve been on his trail for years, and I still haven’t laid eyes on him."
"I hope that I may have the pleasure of introducing you to-night. I've had one or two little turns also with Mr. John Clay, and I agree with you that he is at the head of his profession. It is past ten, however, and quite time that we started. If you two will take the first hansom, Watson and I will follow in the second."
"I hope I get to introduce you tonight. I've had a few brief encounters with Mr. John Clay as well, and I agree with you that he's at the top of his field. It's past ten now, and it's definitely time for us to head out. If you two take the first cab, Watson and I will catch the second."
Sherlock Holmes was not very communicative during the long drive, and lay back in the cab humming the tunes which he had heard in the afternoon. We rattled through an endless labyrinth of gaslit streets until we emerged into Farringdon Street.
Sherlock Holmes wasn't very talkative during the long drive and reclined in the cab, humming the tunes he had heard in the afternoon. We rattled through an endless maze of gaslit streets until we finally came out onto Farringdon Street.
"We are close there now," my friend remarked. "This fellow Merryweather is a bank director and personally interested in the matter. I thought it as well to have Jones with us also. He is not a bad fellow, though an absolute imbecile in his profession. He has one positive virtue. He is as brave as a bulldog, and as tenacious as a lobster if he gets his claws upon anyone. Here we are, and they are waiting for us."
"We're almost there now," my friend said. "This guy Merryweather is a bank director and really cares about the issue. I thought it would be good to bring Jones along too. He's not a bad guy, even though he's completely incompetent at his job. He does have one solid quality. He's as brave as a bulldog and as persistent as a lobster when he gets his claws on someone. Here we are, and they're waiting for us."
We had reached the same crowded thoroughfare in which we had found ourselves in the morning. Our cabs were dismissed, and following the guidance of Mr. Merryweather, we passed down a narrow passage, and through a side door which he opened for us. Within there was a small corridor, which ended in a very massive iron gate. This also was opened, and led down a flight of winding stone steps, which terminated at another formidable gate. Mr. Merryweather stopped to light a lantern, and then conducted us down a dark, earth-smelling passage, and so, after opening a third door, into a huge vault or cellar, which was piled all round with crates and massive boxes.
We had arrived at the same crowded street where we found ourselves in the morning. We got out of our cabs, and following Mr. Merryweather’s lead, we walked down a narrow passage and through a side door that he opened for us. Inside, there was a small hallway that led to a very heavy iron gate. This too was opened, revealing a set of winding stone steps that ended at another imposing gate. Mr. Merryweather paused to light a lantern and then led us down a dark, earthy-smelling passage. After opening a third door, we entered a huge vault or cellar, stacked all around with crates and large boxes.
"You are not very vulnerable from above," Holmes remarked, as he held up the lantern and gazed about him.
"You aren't very exposed from up here," Holmes said, as he lifted the lantern and looked around.
"Nor from below," said Mr. Merryweather, striking his stick upon the flags which lined the floor. "Why, dear me, it sounds quite hollow!" he remarked, looking up in surprise.
"Not from below either," said Mr. Merryweather, hitting his stick on the tiles that covered the floor. "Wow, that sounds really hollow!" he noted, looking up in surprise.
"I must really ask you to be a little more quiet," said Holmes severely. "You have already imperiled the whole success of our expedition. Might I beg that you would have the goodness to sit down upon one of those boxes, and not to interfere?"
"I really need you to be a bit quieter," Holmes said sternly. "You’ve already put the success of our mission at risk. Could you please do us a favor and sit down on one of those boxes, and not get in the way?"
The solemn Mr. Merryweather perched himself upon a crate, with a very injured expression upon his face, while Holmes fell upon his knees upon the floor, and, with the lantern and a magnifying lens, began to examine minutely the cracks between the stones. A few seconds sufficed to satisfy him, for he sprang to his feet again, and put his glass in his pocket.
The serious Mr. Merryweather sat on a crate, looking quite hurt, while Holmes dropped to his knees on the floor and, using a lantern and a magnifying glass, started closely examining the cracks between the stones. It took him just a few seconds to gather what he needed, as he jumped back to his feet and tucked his glass away in his pocket.
"We have at least an hour before us," he remarked, "for they can hardly take any steps until the good pawnbroker is safely in bed. Then they will not lose a minute, for the sooner they do their work the longer time they will have for their escape. We are at present, doctor—as no doubt you have divined—in the cellar of the City branch of one of the principal London banks. Mr. Merryweather is the chairman of directors, and he will explain to you that there are reasons why the more daring criminals of London should take a considerable interest in this cellar at present."
"We have at least an hour to spare," he said, "since they can hardly make any moves until the pawnbroker is safely in bed. Once that happens, they won't waste any time; the sooner they finish their job, the more time they'll have to escape. Right now, doctor—as you’ve probably guessed—we're in the cellar of one of the main London banks. Mr. Merryweather is the chairman of the board, and he’ll explain why the more audacious criminals in London are particularly interested in this cellar right now."
"It is our French gold," whispered the director. "We have had several warnings that an attempt might be made upon it."
"It’s our French gold," the director whispered. "We’ve received several warnings that someone might try to steal it."
"Your French gold?"
"Your French gold?"
"Yes. We had occasion some months ago to strengthen our resources, and borrowed, for that purpose, thirty thousand napoleons from the Bank of France. It has become known that we have never had occasion to unpack the money, and that it is still lying in our cellar. The crate upon which I sit contains two thousand napoleons packed between layers of lead foil. Our reserve of bullion is much larger at present than is usually kept in a single branch office, and the directors have had misgivings upon the subject."
"Yes. A few months ago, we needed to strengthen our resources, so we borrowed thirty thousand napoleons from the Bank of France for that purpose. It's become known that we haven't even had to unpack the money, and it's still sitting in our cellar. The crate I'm sitting on holds two thousand napoleons packed between layers of lead foil. Our reserve of bullion is currently much larger than what is typically kept in a single branch office, and the directors have been concerned about it."
"Which were very well justified," observed Holmes.
"That was definitely justified," Holmes noted.
"And now it is time that we arranged our little plans. I expect that within an hour matters will come to a head. In the meantime, Mr. Merryweather, we must put the screen over that dark lantern."
"And now it’s time for us to set our plans in motion. I expect that within an hour things will reach a climax. In the meantime, Mr. Merryweather, we need to cover that dark lantern with the screen."
"And sit in the dark?"
"And chill in the dark?"
"I am afraid so. I had brought a pack of cards in my pocket, and I thought that, as we were a partie carrée, you might have your rubber after all. But I see that the enemy's preparations have gone so far that we cannot risk the presence of a light. And, first of all, we must choose our positions. These are daring men, and, though we shall take them at a disadvantage, they may do us some harm, unless we are careful. I shall stand behind this crate, and do you conceal yourself behind those. Then, when I flash a light upon them, close in swiftly. If they fire, Watson, have no compunction about shooting them down."
"I'm afraid so. I had a pack of cards in my pocket, and I thought that since we were a partie carrée, you might be able to have your game after all. But I see that the enemy's preparations have progressed so much that we can't risk using a light. First, we need to pick our positions. These are bold men, and even though we will catch them off guard, they could still harm us if we're not careful. I'll hide behind this crate, and you should conceal yourself behind those. Then, when I shine a light on them, move in quickly. If they shoot, Watson, don’t hesitate to take them down."
I placed my revolver, cocked, upon the top of the wooden case behind which I crouched. Holmes shot the slide across the front of his lantern, and left us in pitch darkness—such an absolute darkness as I have never before experienced. The smell of hot metal remained to assure us that the light was still there, ready to flash out at a moment's notice. To me, with my nerves worked up to a pitch of expectancy, there was something depressing and subduing in the sudden gloom, and in the cold, dank air of the vault.
I set my cocked revolver on top of the wooden case behind which I was crouching. Holmes slid the cover across the front of his lantern, leaving us in complete darkness—such total darkness I had never experienced before. The smell of hot metal lingered to remind us that the light was still there, ready to shine at a moment's notice. For me, with my nerves heightened with anticipation, there was something overwhelming and heavy in the sudden gloom and the cold, damp air of the vault.
"They have but one retreat," whispered Holmes. "That is back through the house into Saxe-Coburg Square. I hope that you have done what I asked you, Jones?"
"They only have one way out," Holmes whispered. "That's back through the house into Saxe-Coburg Square. I hope you did what I asked you to do, Jones?"
"I have an inspector and two officers waiting at the front door."
"I have an inspector and two officers waiting at the front door."
"Then we have stopped all the holes. And now we must be silent and wait."
"Then we've closed all the gaps. Now we need to be quiet and wait."
What a time it seemed! From comparing notes afterwards, it was but an hour and a quarter, yet it appeared to me that the night must have almost gone, and the dawn be breaking above us. My limbs were weary and stiff, for I feared to change my position, yet my nerves were worked up to the highest pitch of tension, and my hearing was so acute that I could not only hear the gentle breathing of my companions, but I could distinguish the deeper, heavier inbreath of the bulky Jones from the thin, sighing note of the bank director. From my position I could look over the case in the direction of the floor. Suddenly my eyes caught the glint of a light.
What a time it seemed! When we compared notes afterward, it was only an hour and a quarter, yet it felt like the night had almost passed and dawn was breaking above us. My limbs were tired and stiff, and I was afraid to change my position, but my nerves were on edge and my hearing was so sharp that I could not only hear the soft breathing of my companions, but I could also pick out the deep, heavy breath of the bulky Jones from the thin, sighing breath of the bank director. From my spot, I could see over the case toward the floor. Suddenly, I caught a glimmer of light.
At first it was but a lurid spark upon the stone pavement. Then it lengthened out until it became a yellow line, and then, without any warning or sound, a gash seemed to open and a hand appeared, a white, almost womanly hand, which felt about in the center of the little area of light. For a minute or more the hand, with its writhing fingers, protruded out of the floor. Then it was withdrawn as suddenly as it appeared, and all was dark again save the single lurid spark, which marked a chink between the stones.
At first, it was just a bright spark on the stone pavement. Then it stretched out until it became a yellow line, and suddenly, without any warning or sound, a gash seemed to open up and a hand appeared—a white, almost feminine hand—that reached out into the center of the small area of light. For a minute or so, the hand, with its twisting fingers, protruded from the floor. Then it was pulled back as quickly as it had come, and everything was dark again except for the single bright spark that marked a gap between the stones.
Its disappearance, however, was but momentary. With a rending, tearing sound, one of the broad white stones turned over upon its side, and left a square, gaping hole, through which streamed the light of a lantern. Over the edge there peeped a clean-cut, boyish face, which looked keenly about it, and then, with a hand on either side of the aperture, drew itself shoulder-high and waist-high, until one knee rested upon the edge. In another instant he stood at the side of the hole, and was hauling after him a companion, lithe and small like himself, with a pale face and a shock of very red hair.
Its disappearance, however, was only for a moment. With a loud, ripping sound, one of the broad white stones flipped over, revealing a square, gaping hole, through which the light of a lantern shone. A clean-cut, boyish face peeked over the edge, looking around keenly, and then, with a hand on either side of the opening, pulled itself up to shoulder height and waist height, until one knee rested on the edge. In another moment, he stood at the side of the hole, pulling up a companion, who was agile and small like himself, with a pale face and a mess of very red hair.
"It's all clear," he whispered. "Have you the chisel and the bags? Great Scott! Jump, Archie, jump, and I'll swing for it!"
"It's all clear," he whispered. "Do you have the chisel and the bags? Wow! Jump, Archie, jump, and I’ll take care of the rest!"
Sherlock Holmes had sprung out and seized the intruder by the collar. The other dived down the hole, and I heard the sound of rending cloth as Jones clutched at his skirts. The light flashed upon the barrel of a revolver, but Holmes's hunting crop came down on the man's wrist, and the pistol clinked upon the stone floor.
Sherlock Holmes had jumped out and grabbed the intruder by the collar. The other guy dove down the hole, and I heard the sound of ripping fabric as Jones caught at his clothes. The light glinted off the barrel of a revolver, but Holmes's riding crop came down on the man's wrist, and the gun clattered onto the stone floor.
"It's no use, John Clay," said Holmes blandly, "you have no chance at all."
"It's no use, John Clay," Holmes said calmly, "you don't stand a chance."
"So I see," the other answered, with the utmost coolness. "I fancy that my pal is all right, though I see you have got his coat-tails."
"So I see," the other replied calmly. "I think my friend is fine, even though I notice you have his coat-tails."
"There are three men waiting for him at the door," said Holmes.
"There are three guys waiting for him at the door," said Holmes.
"Oh, indeed. You seem to have done the thing very completely. I must compliment you."
"Oh, definitely. You really seem to have done this very thoroughly. I have to give you credit."
"And I you," Holmes answered. "Your red-headed idea was very new and effective."
"And I you," Holmes replied. "Your idea about the red-haired person was really original and clever."
"You'll see your pal again presently," said Jones. "He's quicker at climbing down holes than I am. Just hold out while I fix the derbies."
"You'll see your buddy again soon," said Jones. "He's faster at climbing down holes than I am. Just hang on while I fix the derbies."
"I beg that you will not touch me with your filthy hands," remarked our prisoner, as the handcuffs clattered upon his wrists. "You may not be aware that I have royal blood in my veins. Have the goodness also, when you address me, always to say 'sir' and 'please.'"
"I ask that you don't touch me with your dirty hands," said our prisoner as the handcuffs clinked on his wrists. "You might not know that I have royal blood in my veins. Please, when you speak to me, always address me as 'sir' and use 'please.'"
"All right," said Jones, with a stare and a snigger. "Well, would you please, sir, march upstairs where we can get a cab to carry your highness to the police station?"
"All right," said Jones, with a glare and a chuckle. "Well, could you please march upstairs where we can get a cab to take you to the police station?"
"That is better," said John Clay serenely. He made a sweeping bow to the three of us, and walked quietly off in the custody of the detective.
"That's better," said John Clay calmly. He gave a grand bow to the three of us and quietly walked away under the watch of the detective.
"Really, Mr. Holmes," said Mr. Merryweather, as we followed them from the cellar, "I do not know how the bank can thank you or repay you. There is no doubt that you have detected and defeated in the most complete manner one of the most determined attempts at bank robbery, that have ever come within my experience."
"Honestly, Mr. Holmes," said Mr. Merryweather as we followed them out of the cellar, "I have no idea how the bank can thank you or repay you. There's no doubt that you have uncovered and thwarted one of the most serious attempts at bank robbery I've ever seen."
"I have had one or two little scores of my own to settle with Mr. John Clay," said Holmes. "I have been at some small expense over this matter, which I shall expect the bank to refund, but beyond that I am amply repaid by having had an experience which is in many ways unique, and by hearing the very remarkable narrative of the Red-headed League."
"I have a few personal scores to settle with Mr. John Clay," said Holmes. "I’ve incurred some minor expenses related to this matter, which I expect the bank to reimburse, but aside from that, I feel fully compensated by having had a truly unique experience and by hearing the very remarkable story of the Red-headed League."
"You see, Watson," he explained, in the early hours of the morning, as we sat over a glass of whisky and soda in Baker Street, "it was perfectly obvious from the first that the only possible object of this rather fantastic business of the advertisement of the League, and the copying of the 'Encyclopædia,' must be to get this not over-bright pawnbroker out of the way for a number of hours every day. It was a curious way of managing it, but really it would be difficult to suggest a better. The method was no doubt suggested to Clay's ingenious mind by the color of his accomplice's hair. The four pounds a week was a lure which must draw him, and what was it to them, who were playing for thousands? They put in the advertisement, one rogue has the temporary office, the other rogue incites the man to apply for it, and together they manage to secure his absence every morning in the week. From the time that I heard of the assistant having come for half wages, it was obvious to me that he had some strong motive for securing the situation."
"You see, Watson," he explained in the early morning hours as we sat over a glass of whisky and soda in Baker Street, "it was clear from the start that the only purpose of this rather bizarre scheme involving the advertisement for the League and the copying of the 'Encyclopædia' was to keep this not-so-bright pawnbroker out of the way for several hours every day. It was an odd approach, but honestly, it would be tough to come up with a better one. The method was likely inspired by the color of his accomplice's hair. The four pounds a week was a bait that would definitely attract him, and what did it matter to them, who were risking thousands? They placed the advertisement, one crook takes the temporary office, the other encourages the man to apply for it, and together they ensure he is absent every morning of the week. From the moment I heard about the assistant coming in for half wages, it was clear to me that he had a strong reason for wanting the job."
"But how could you guess what the motive was?"
"But how could you know what the motive was?"
"Had there been women in the house, I should have suspected a mere vulgar intrigue. That, however, was out of the question. The man's business was a small one, and there was nothing in his house which could account for such elaborate preparations, and such an expenditure as they were at. It must then be something out of the house. What could it be? I thought of the assistant's fondness for photography, and his trick of vanishing into the cellar. The cellar! There was the end of this tangled clew. Then I made inquiries as to this mysterious assistant, and found that I had to deal with one of the coolest and most daring criminals in London. He was doing something in the cellar—something which took many hours a day for months on end. What could it be, once more? I could think of nothing save that he was running a tunnel to some other building.
"Had there been women in the house, I would have suspected a simple scandal. However, that wasn’t the case. The man's business was small, and there was nothing in his house that could explain such elaborate preparations and such high expenses. It had to be something outside. What could it be? I remembered the assistant's passion for photography and his habit of disappearing into the cellar. The cellar! That was the key to this complicated puzzle. So I started asking questions about this mysterious assistant and discovered that I was dealing with one of the coolest and boldest criminals in London. He was up to something in the cellar—something that took hours each day for months. What could it be again? The only thing I could think of was that he was digging a tunnel to another building."
"So far I had got when we went to visit the scene of action. I surprised you by beating upon the pavement with my stick. I was ascertaining whether the cellar stretched out in front or behind. It was not in front. Then I rang the bell, and, as I hoped, the assistant answered it. We have had some skirmishes, but we had never set eyes upon each other before. I hardly looked at his face. His knees were what I wished to see. You must yourself have remarked how worn, wrinkled, and stained they were. They spoke of those hours of burrowing. The only remaining point was what they were burrowing for. I walked round the corner, saw that the City and Suburban Bank abutted on our friend's premises, and felt that I had solved my problem. When you drove home after the concert I called upon Scotland Yard, and upon the chairman of the bank directors, with the result that you have seen."
"So far, this is where I got to when we went to check out the scene. I surprised you by tapping my cane on the pavement. I was figuring out whether the cellar extended out front or in the back. It wasn't in the front. Then I rang the bell, and, just as I hoped, the assistant answered. We've had some run-ins, but we’d never actually seen each other before. I barely glanced at his face. What I wanted to see were his knees. You must have noticed how worn, wrinkled, and stained they were. They told the story of all those hours spent digging. The only thing left to figure out was what they were digging for. I walked around the corner, noticed that the City and Suburban Bank was adjacent to our friend's property, and felt like I had cracked the case. When you drove home after the concert, I stopped by Scotland Yard and spoke with the chairman of the bank directors, and that's how we got to where we are now."
"And how could you tell that they would make their attempt to-night?" I asked.
"And how could you know they would make their move tonight?" I asked.
"Well, when they closed their League offices that was a sign that they cared no longer about Mr. Jabez Wilson's presence; in other words, that they had completed their tunnel. But it was essential that they should use it soon, as it might be discovered, or the bullion might be removed. Saturday would suit them better than any other day, as it would give them two days for their escape. For all these reasons I expected them to come to-night."
"Well, when they shut down their League offices, it was clear they no longer cared about Mr. Jabez Wilson's presence; in other words, they had finished their tunnel. But it was crucial for them to use it soon, as it might be discovered, or the bullion could be moved. Saturday would be the best day for them since it would give them two days to escape. For all these reasons, I figured they would come tonight."
"You reasoned it out beautifully," I exclaimed, in unfeigned admiration. "It is so long a chain, and yet every link rings true."
"You figured it out perfectly," I said, genuinely impressed. "It's such a long chain, and yet every link feels right."
"It saved me from ennui," he answered, yawning. "Alas! I already feel it closing in upon me. My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplaces of existence. These little problems help me to do so."
"It kept me from getting bored," he replied, yawning. "Unfortunately, I can already feel it creeping back in. My life is just one long struggle to break free from the everyday routine. These small challenges help me to do that."
"And you are a benefactor of the race," said I. He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, perhaps, after all, it is of some little use," he remarked. "'L'homme c'est rien—l'oeuvre c'est tout,' as Gustave Flaubert wrote to Georges Sands."
"And you’re a supporter of the cause," I said. He shrugged. "Well, maybe, after all, it’s somewhat useful," he remarked. "'L'homme c'est rien—l'oeuvre c'est tout,' as Gustave Flaubert wrote to Georges Sands."
Egerton Castle
The Baron's Quarry
"Oh, no, I assure you, you are not boring Mr. Marshfield," said this personage himself in his gentle voice—that curious voice that could flow on for hours, promulgating profound and startling theories on every department of human knowledge or conducting paradoxical arguments without a single inflection or pause of hesitation. "I am, on the contrary, much interested in your hunting talk. To paraphrase a well-worn quotation somewhat widely, nihil humanum a me alienum est. Even hunting stories may have their point of biological interest; the philologist sometimes pricks his ear to the jargon of the chase; moreover, I am not incapable of appreciating the subject matter itself. This seems to excite some derision. I admit I am not much of a sportsman to look at, nor, indeed, by instinct, yet I have had some out-of-the-way experiences in that line—generally when intent on other pursuits. I doubt, for instance, if even you, Major Travers, notwithstanding your well-known exploits against man and beast, notwithstanding that doubtful smile of yours, could match the strangeness of a certain hunting adventure in which I played an important part."
"Oh, no, I assure you, you’re not boring Mr. Marshfield," said the man himself in his soft voice—the kind of voice that could go on for hours, sharing deep and surprising theories about every area of human knowledge or debating paradoxical points without any change in tone or pause for thought. "I’m actually quite interested in your hunting stories. To paraphrase a familiar saying, nihil humanum a me alienum est. Even hunting tales can be biologically intriguing; a linguist might perk up at the language of the hunt; also, I can genuinely appreciate the topic itself. This seems to spark some laughter at my expense. I admit I don’t look much like a sportsman, nor am I inherently one, but I’ve had some unusual experiences in that realm—usually when I was focused on something else. I doubt, for example, that even you, Major Travers, with your well-known feats against man and beast and that questionable smile of yours, could rival the oddity of a certain hunting adventure where I played a significant role."
The speaker's small, deep-set, black eyes, that never warmed to anything more human than a purely speculative scientific interest in his surroundings, here wandered round the skeptical yet expectant circle with bland amusement. He stretched out his bloodless fingers for another of his host's superfine cigars and proceeded, with only such interruptions as were occasioned by the lighting and careful smoking of the latter.
The speaker's small, deep-set black eyes, which never showed warmth for anything beyond a purely speculative scientific curiosity about his surroundings, now scanned the skeptical yet expectant group with indifferent amusement. He reached for another of his host's exquisite cigars and began to smoke it, with only brief interruptions for lighting it and taking careful puffs.
"I was returning home after my prolonged stay in Petersburg, intending to linger on my way and test with mine own ears certain among the many dialects of Eastern Europe—anent which there is a symmetrical little cluster of philological knotty points it is my modest intention one day to unravel. However, that is neither here nor there. On the road to Hungary I bethought myself opportunely of proving the once pressingly offered hospitality of the Baron Kossowski.
"I was heading home after my long stay in Petersburg, planning to take my time and listen for myself to some of the many dialects of Eastern Europe—there's a neat little group of tricky linguistic issues that I hope to solve one day. But that's not really the point. On my way to Hungary, I suddenly remembered the hospitality that Baron Kossowski had once generously offered."
"You may have met the man, Major Travers; he was a tremendous sportsman, if you like. I first came across him at McNeil's place in remote Ireland. Now, being in Bukowina, within measurable distance of his Carpathian abode, and curious to see a Polish lord at home, I remembered his invitation. It was already of long standing, but it had been warm, born in fact of a sudden fit of enthusiasm for me"—here a half-mocking smile quivered an instant under the speaker's black mustache—"which, as it was characteristic, I may as well tell you about.
"You might have met the guy, Major Travers; he was quite the athlete, if that’s your thing. I first encountered him at McNeil's place in the remote parts of Ireland. Now, being in Bukowina, not far from his home in the Carpathians, and curious to see a Polish lord in his natural habitat, I remembered his invitation. It had been on the table for a while, but it was genuine, actually sparked by a sudden burst of enthusiasm for me"—here a half-mocking smile flickered for a moment under the speaker's black mustache—"which, since it's typical of him, I might as well share with you."
"It was on the day of, or, rather, to be accurate, on the day after my arrival, toward the small hours of the morning, in the smoking room at Rathdrum. Our host was peacefully snoring over his empty pipe and his seventh glass of whisky, also empty. The rest of the men had slunk off to bed. The baron, who all unknown to himself had been a subject of most interesting observation to me the whole evening, being now practically alone with me, condescended to turn an eye, as wide awake as a fox's, albeit slightly bloodshot, upon the contemptible white-faced person who had preferred spending the raw hours over his papers, within the radius of a glorious fire's warmth, to creeping slyly over treacherous quagmires in the pursuit of timid bog creatures (snipe shooting had been the order of the day)-the baron, I say, became aware of my existence and entered into conversation with me.
"It was on the day of, or rather, to be precise, on the day after I arrived, in the early hours of the morning, in the smoking room at Rathdrum. Our host was peacefully snoring over his empty pipe and his seventh glass of whisky, which was also empty. The rest of the men had quietly gone to bed. The baron, who had unknowingly been an interesting subject of observation for me the whole evening, was now practically alone with me. He condescended to look at me with eyes as alert as a fox's, though slightly bloodshot, and took notice of the pathetic white-faced guy who chose to spend those raw hours over his papers, enjoying the warmth of a glorious fire, instead of sneaking around dangerous quagmires looking for timid bog creatures (snipe shooting had been the plan for the day). The baron, I should say, became aware of my presence and started a conversation with me."
"He would no doubt have been much surprised could he have known that he was already mapped out, craniologically and physiognomically, catalogued with care and neatly laid by in his proper ethnological box, in my private type museum; that, as I sat and examined him from my different coigns of vantage in library, in dining and smoking room that evening, not a look of his, not a gesture went forth but had significance for me.
He would have been very surprised if he had known that he was already categorized, both in terms of his skull shape and facial features, carefully cataloged and neatly placed in his designated ethnic category in my private collection; that as I sat and observed him from different angles in the library, dining room, and smoking room that evening, every look and gesture he made held meaning for me.
"You, I had thought, with your broad shoulders and deep chest; your massive head that should have gone with a tall stature, not with those short sturdy limbs; with your thick red hair, that should have been black for that matter, as should your wide-set yellow eyes—you would be a real puzzle to one who did not recognize in you equal mixtures of the fair, stalwart and muscular Slav with the bilious-sanguine, thick-set, wiry Turanian. Your pedigree would no doubt bear me out: there is as much of the Magyar as of the Pole in your anatomy. Athlete, and yet a tangle of nerves; a ferocious brute at bottom, I dare say, for your broad forehead inclines to flatness; under your bristling beard your jaw must protrude, and the base of your skull is ominously thick. And, with all that, capable of ideal transports: when that girl played and sang to-night I saw the swelling of your eyelid veins, and how that small, tenacious, claw-like hand of yours twitched! You would be a fine leader of men—but God help the wretches in your power!
"You, I had thought, with your broad shoulders and deep chest; your massive head that seems more suited for a taller person, not those short, sturdy limbs; with your thick red hair, which should have been black, just like your wide-set yellow eyes—you would be a real puzzle to anyone who didn't see in you a mix of the fair, strong, and muscular Slav with the stocky, wiry Turanian. Your background would surely confirm this: you have as much of the Magyar as the Pole in your build. You're an athlete, but also a bundle of nerves; a fierce brute underneath, I would say, since your broad forehead tends to be flat; your jaw must jut out beneath your bristling beard, and the base of your skull is worryingly thick. Yet, with all of that, you have the capacity for ideal feelings: when that girl played and sang tonight, I noticed the bulging veins in your eyelids and how that small, tenacious, claw-like hand of yours twitched! You would be a great leader of men—but God help those unfortunate enough to be under your control!"
"So had I mused upon him. Yet I confess that when we came in closer contact with each other, even I was not proof against the singular courtesy of his manner and his unaccountable personal charm.
"So I had thought about him. Yet I admit that when we got closer to each other, even I wasn’t immune to the unique politeness of his behavior and his inexplicable personal charm."
"Our conversation soon grew interesting; to me as a matter of course, and evidently to him also. A few general words led to interchange of remarks upon the country we were both visitors in and so to national characteristics—Pole and Irishman have not a few in common, both in their nature and history. An observation which he made, not without a certain flash in his light eyes and a transient uncovering of the teeth, on the Irish type of female beauty suddenly suggested to me a stanza of an ancient Polish ballad, very full of milk-and-blood imagery, of alternating ferocity and voluptuousness. This I quoted to the astounded foreigner in the vernacular, and this it was that metamorphosed his mere perfection of civility into sudden warmth, and, in fact, procured me the invitation in question.
"Our conversation soon became interesting; that was obvious to me, and clearly to him as well. A few general comments led to exchanges about the country we were both visiting, which brought up national characteristics—Poles and Irish share quite a few in common, both in their nature and history. A remark he made, with a certain glint in his bright eyes and a brief flash of his teeth, about the Irish type of female beauty suddenly reminded me of a stanza from an old Polish ballad, filled with strong imagery of milk and blood, alternating between fierceness and sensuality. I quoted it to the surprised foreigner in Polish, and this transformed his polite demeanor into genuine warmth, ultimately earning me the invitation in question."
"When I left Rathdrum the baron's last words to me were that if I ever thought of visiting his country otherwise than in books, he held me bound to make Yany, his Galician seat, my headquarters of study.
"When I left Rathdrum, the baron's final words to me were that if I ever considered visiting his country beyond reading about it, he expected me to make Yany, his estate in Galicia, my main place of study."
"From Czernowicz, therefore, where I stopped some time, I wrote, received in due time a few lines of prettily worded reply, and ultimately entered my sled in the nearest town to, yet at a most forbidding distance from, Yany, and started on my journey thither.
"From Czernowitz, where I spent some time, I wrote and eventually got a nicely worded reply. I then loaded my sled in the nearest town, which was quite a distance from Yany, and set off on my journey there."
"The undertaking meant many long hours of undulation and skidding over the November snow, to the somniferous bell jangle of my dirty little horses, the only impression of interest being a weird gypsy concert I came in for at a miserable drinking-booth half buried in the snow where we halted for the refreshment of man and beast. Here, I remember, I discovered a very definite connection between the characteristic run of the tsimbol, the peculiar bite of the Zigeuner's bow on his fiddle-string, and some distinctive points of Turanian tongues. In other countries, in Spain, for instance, your gypsy speaks differently on his instrument. But, oddly enough, when I later attempted to put this observation on paper I could find no word to express it."
"The task involved many long hours of bouncing and sliding over the November snow, accompanied by the sleepy jingle of my scruffy little horses. The only interesting moment was a strange gypsy concert I stumbled upon at a shabby drinking booth half buried in the snow, where we stopped to refresh ourselves and the animals. I remember realizing a very clear connection between the unique sound of the tsimbol, the distinct bite of the gypsy's bow on his fiddle string, and some specific features of Turanian languages. In other countries, like Spain, for example, gypsies play differently on their instruments. But, strangely enough, when I later tried to write down this observation, I couldn't find the right words to describe it."
A few of our company evinced signs of sleepiness, but most of us who knew Marshfield, and that he could, unless he had something novel to say, be as silent and retiring as he now evinced signs of being copious, awaited further developments with patience. He has his own deliberate way of speaking, which he evidently enjoys greatly, though it be occasionally trying to his listeners.
A few people in our group showed signs of drowsiness, but most of us who knew Marshfield understood that he could be as quiet and reserved as he seemed to be talkative now, so we patiently waited for more developments. He has his own thoughtful way of speaking, which he clearly enjoys, even though it can sometimes be difficult for his listeners.
"On the afternoon of my second day's drive, the snow, which till then had fallen fine and continuous, ceased, and my Jehu, suddenly interrupting himself in the midst of some exciting wolf story quite in keeping with the time of year and the wild surroundings, pointed to a distant spot against the gray sky to the northwest, between two wood-covered folds of ground—the first eastern spurs of the great Carpathian chain.
"On the afternoon of my second day of driving, the snow, which had been falling lightly and continuously until then, stopped. My driver, suddenly breaking off from some thrilling wolf story that fit perfectly with the season and the wild scenery, pointed to a distant spot against the gray sky to the northwest, nestled between two wooded hills—the first eastern foothills of the great Carpathian mountains."
"'There stands Yany,' said he. I looked at my far-off goal with interest. As we drew nearer, the sinking sun, just dipping behind the hills, tinged the now distinct frontage with a cold copper-like gleam, but it was only for a minute; the next the building became nothing more to the eye than a black irregular silhouette against the crimson sky.
"'There’s Yany,' he said. I gazed at my distant destination with curiosity. As we got closer, the setting sun, just sliding behind the hills, cast a cold, coppery glow on the now-clear facade, but it lasted only a minute; soon the building turned into nothing more than a dark, uneven shape against the red sky.
"Before we entered the long, steep avenue of poplars, the early winter darkness was upon us, rendered all the more depressing by gray mists which gave a ghostly aspect to such objects as the sheen of the snow rendered visible. Once or twice there were feeble flashes of light looming in iridescent halos as we passed little clusters of hovels, but for which I should have been induced to fancy that the great Hof stood alone in the wilderness, such was the deathly stillness around. But even as the tall, square building rose before us above the vapor, yellow lighted in various stories, and mighty in height and breadth, there broke upon my ear a deep-mouthed, menacing bay, which gave at once almost alarming reality to the eerie surroundings. 'His lordship's boar and wolf hounds,' quoth my charioteer calmly, unmindful of the regular pandemonium, of howls and barks which ensued as he skillfully turned his horses through the gateway and flogged the tired beasts into a sort of shambling canter that we might land with glory before the house door: a weakness common, I believe, to drivers of all nations.
"Before we got to the long, steep avenue lined with poplar trees, the early winter darkness was upon us, made even more depressing by gray mists that gave a ghostly look to everything illuminated by the visible sheen of the snow. Occasionally, we caught glimpses of weak flashes of light glowing in iridescent halos as we passed small groups of shabby houses, otherwise, I would have thought that the grand Hof stood alone in the wilderness because of the haunting stillness around us. But just as the tall, square building emerged above the mist, glowing with yellow lights on various floors, wide and imposing, a deep, threatening bark broke through the silence, suddenly making the eerie surroundings feel very real. 'His lordship's boar and wolf hounds,' my driver said calmly, ignoring the chaos of howls and barks that followed as he skillfully guided his horses through the gateway and urged the tired animals into a sort of awkward canter so we could make a grand entrance at the front door—a tendency, I believe, common to drivers everywhere."
"I alighted in the court of honor, and while awaiting an answer to my tug at the bell, stood, broken with fatigue, depressed, chilled and aching, questioning the wisdom of my proceedings and the amount of comfort, physical and moral, that was likely to await me in a tête-à-tête visit with a well-mannered savage in his own home.
"I stepped into the courtyard and, while waiting for a response to my pull of the bell, stood there, exhausted, downcast, cold, and in pain, wondering about the wisdom of my actions and how much comfort, both physical and emotional, I could expect from a one-on-one visit with a well-mannered savage in his own home."
"The unkempt tribe of stable retainers who began to gather round me and my rough vehicle in the gloom, with their evil-smelling sheepskins and their resigned, battered visages, were not calculated to reassure me. Yet when the door opened, there stood a smart chasseur and a solemn major-domo who might but just have stepped out of Mayfair; and there was displayed a spreading vista of warm, deep-colored halls, with here a statue and there a stuffed bear, and under foot pile carpets strewn with rarest skins.
"The ragged group of stable workers who started to gather around me and my rough vehicle in the dim light, with their smelly sheepskins and weary, worn faces, didn’t exactly make me feel safe. But when the door opened, a sharp-looking doorman and a serious head servant stood there, looking like they could have just walked out of Mayfair; and I was greeted by a wide view of warm, richly colored halls, featuring a statue here and a stuffed bear there, with pile carpets laid with the rarest skins underfoot."
"Marveling, yet comforted withal, I followed the solemn butler, who received me with the deference due to an expected guest and expressed the master's regret for his enforced absence till dinner time. I traversed vast rooms, each more sumptuous than the last, feeling the strangeness of the contrast between the outer desolation and this sybaritic excess of luxury growing ever more strongly upon me; caught a glimpse of a picture gallery, where peculiar yet admirably executed latter-day French pictures hung side by side with ferocious boar hunts of Snyder and such kin; and, at length, was ushered into a most cheerful room, modern to excess in its comfortable promise, where, in addition to the tall stove necessary for warmth, there burned on an open hearth a vastly pleasant fire of resinous logs, and where, on a low table, awaited me a dainty service of fragrant Russian tea.
"Wondering but also feeling a sense of comfort, I followed the solemn butler, who greeted me with the respect expected of a guest and conveyed the master's regrets for his unavoidable absence until dinner. I walked through enormous rooms, each more luxurious than the last, increasingly aware of the stark contrast between the outer emptiness and the lavish excess of opulence surrounding me; I caught a glimpse of an art gallery, where unique yet beautifully executed modern French paintings hung alongside intense boar hunting scenes by Snyder and others; and finally, I was led into a bright room, overly modern in its promise of comfort, where, in addition to the tall stove necessary for warmth, a delightful fire of resinous logs burned in the open hearth, and on a low table, a lovely set of fragrant Russian tea awaited me."
"My impression of utter novelty seemed somehow enhanced by this unexpected refinement in the heart of the solitudes and in such a rugged shell, and yet, when I came to reflect, it was only characteristic of my cosmopolitan host. But another surprise was in store for me.
"My feeling of complete newness seemed to be heightened by this surprising touch of elegance in the midst of isolation and within such a rough exterior, and yet, upon reflection, it was just typical of my worldly host. But another surprise awaited me."
"When I had recovered bodily warmth and mental equilibrium in my downy armchair, before the roaring logs, and during the delicious absorption of my second glass of tea, I turned my attention to the French valet, evidently the baron's own man, who was deftly unpacking my portmanteau, and who, unless my practiced eye deceived me, asked for nothing better than to entertain me with agreeable conversation the while.
"When I had warmed up and settled my thoughts in my comfy armchair, sitting by the crackling fire, and while enjoying my second glass of tea, I focused on the French valet, clearly the baron's own servant, who was skillfully unpacking my suitcase and who, if I wasn’t mistaken, seemed eager to engage me in pleasant conversation at the same time."
"'Your master is out, then?' quoth I, knowing that the most trivial remark would suffice to start him.
"'Your boss is out, then?' I said, knowing that even the simplest comment would be enough to get him going.
"True, Monseigneur was out; he was desolated in despair (this with the national amiable and imaginative instinct); 'but it was doubtless important business. M. le Baron had the visit of his factor during the midday meal; had left the table hurriedly, and had not been seen since. Madame la Baronne had been a little suffering, but she would receive monsieur!'
"Sure, Monseigneur was out; he was completely overwhelmed with despair (with that national friendly and creative instinct); 'but it was probably important business. M. le Baron had a meeting with his agent during lunch; he left the table in a rush and hasn't been seen since. Madame la Baronne had been feeling a bit unwell, but she would see monsieur!'"
"'Madame!' exclaimed I, astounded, 'is your master then married?—since when?'—visions of a fair Tartar, fit mate for my baron, immediately springing somewhat alluringly before my mental vision. But the answer dispelled the picturesque fancy.
"'Madame!' I exclaimed, surprised, 'is your master married then?—since when?'—images of a beautiful Tartar, a perfect match for my baron, immediately popped into my mind. But the answer shattered that charming thought.
"'Oh, yes,' said the man, with a somewhat peculiar expression. 'Yes, Monseigneur is married. Did Monsieur not know? And yet it was from England that Monseigneur brought back his wife.'
"'Oh, yes,' said the man, with a bit of a strange look. 'Yes, Monseigneur is married. Didn't Monsieur know? And yet it was from England that Monseigneur brought back his wife.'"
"'An Englishwoman!'
"'An English girl!'"
"My first thought was one of pity; an Englishwoman alone in this wilderness—two days' drive from even a railway station—and at the mercy of Kossowski! But the next minute I reversed my judgment. Probably she adored her rufous lord, took his veneer of courtesy—a veneer of the most exquisite polish, I grant you, but perilously thin—for the very perfection of chivalry. Or perchance it was his inner savageness itself that charmed her; the most refined women often amaze one by the fascination which the preponderance of the brute in the opposite sex seems to have for them.
My first thought was one of pity; an English woman alone in this wilderness—two days' drive from even the nearest train station—and at the mercy of Kossowski! But the next moment I changed my mind. She probably adored her fiery lord, mistaking his polite surface—a surface that’s undeniably polished, I admit, but dangerously thin—for the ultimate ideal of chivalry. Or maybe it was his inner wildness that attracted her; the most sophisticated women often surprise you with how drawn they are to the roughness found in men.
"I was anxious to hear more.
I was eager to hear more.
"'Is it not dull for the lady here at this time of the year?'
"'Isn't it boring for the lady here at this time of year?'"
"The valet raised his shoulders with a gesture of despair that was almost passionate.
"The valet shrugged his shoulders in a gesture of despair that was almost passionate."
"Dull! Ah, monsieur could not conceive to himself the dullness of it. That poor Madame la Baronne! not even a little child to keep her company on the long, long days when there was nothing but snow in the heaven and on the earth and the howling of the wind and the dogs to cheer her. At the beginning, indeed, it had been different; when the master first brought home his bride the house was gay enough. It was all redecorated and refurnished to receive her (monsieur should have seen it before, a mere rendezvous-de-chasse—for the matter of that so were all the country houses in these parts). Ah, that was the good time! There were visits month after month; parties, sleighing, dancing, trips to St. Petersburg and Vienna. But this year it seemed they were to have nothing but boars and wolves. How madame could stand it—well, it was not for him to speak—and heaving a deep sigh he delicately inserted my white tie round my collar, and with a flourish twisted it into an irreproachable bow beneath my chin. I did not think it right to cross-examine the willing talker any further, especially as, despite his last asseveration, there were evidently volumes he still wished to pour forth; but I confess that, as I made my way slowly out of my room along the noiseless length of passage, I was conscious of an unwonted, not to say vulgar, curiosity concerning the woman who had captivated such a man as the Baron Kossowski.
"Dull! Ah, sir, you can't even imagine how boring it is. That poor Madame la Baronne! She doesn't even have a child to keep her company during the long, endless days when there's nothing but snow in the sky and on the ground, and the only sounds are the howling wind and the dogs to cheer her up. At first, it was different; when the master first brought home his bride, the house was lively. It was completely redecorated and furnished to welcome her (you should have seen it before, it was just a hunting lodge—just like all the country houses around here). Ah, those were the good times! There were visits month after month, parties, sleigh rides, dancing, trips to St. Petersburg and Vienna. But this year, it seems like all they have is boars and wolves. How madame could stand it—well, I shouldn't say—and with a deep sigh, he gently adjusted my white tie around my collar, skillfully twisting it into a perfect bow beneath my chin. I didn’t think it was right to ask him more questions, especially since, despite his last insistence, he clearly had a lot more to say; but I admitted that as I slowly made my way out of my room down the quiet hallway, I felt an unusual, almost inappropriate, curiosity about the woman who had captivated such a man as Baron Kossowski."
"In a fit of speculative abstraction I must have taken the wrong turning, for I presently found myself in a long, narrow passage. I did not remember. I was retracing my steps when there came the sound of rapid footfalls upon stone flags; a little door flew open in the wall close to me, and a small, thick-set man, huddled in the rough sheepskin of the Galician peasant, with a mangy fur cap on his head, nearly ran headlong into my arms. I was about condescendingly to interpellate him in my best Polish, when I caught the gleam of an angry yellow eye and noted the bristle of a red beard—Kossowski!
"In a moment of lost thought, I must have taken the wrong turn, because I soon found myself in a long, narrow hallway. I didn’t recognize it. As I was trying to backtrack, I heard quick footsteps on the stone floor; a small door flung open in the wall next to me, and a stocky little man, bundled in the rough sheepskin of a Galician peasant, wearing a scruffy fur hat, almost collided with me. I was about to politely greet him in my best Polish when I caught sight of an angry yellow eye and noticed his bushy red beard—Kossowski!"
"Amazed, I fell back a step in silence. With a growl like an uncouth animal disturbed, he drew his filthy cap over his brow with a savage gesture and pursued his way down the corridor at a sort of wild-boar trot.
"Amazed, I took a step back in silence. With a growl like a wild animal that had been disturbed, he pulled his dirty cap down over his forehead with a savage motion and continued down the hallway with a sort of wild-boar run."
"This first meeting between host and guest was so odd, so incongruous, that it afforded me plenty of food for a fresh line of conjecture as I traced my way back to the picture gallery, and from thence successfully to the drawing room, which, as the door was ajar, I could not this time mistake.
"This first meeting between host and guest was so strange and out of place that it gave me a lot to think about as I made my way back to the picture gallery, and from there I easily found the drawing room, which, since the door was open, I couldn't confuse this time."
"It was large and lofty and dimly lit by shaded lamps; through the rosy gloom I could at first only just make out a slender figure by the hearth; but as I advanced, this was resolved into a singularly graceful woman in clinging, fur-trimmed velvet gown, who, with one hand resting on the high mantelpiece, the other hanging listlessly by her side, stood gazing down at the crumbling wood fire as if in a dream.
"It was big and tall and dimly lit by lamps with shades; through the soft glow, I could just barely see a slender figure by the fireplace at first; but as I got closer, I realized it was an unusually graceful woman in a form-fitting, fur-trimmed velvet dress, who stood with one hand resting on the high mantel and the other hanging loosely by her side, gazing down at the crackling fireplace as if she were lost in a dream."
"My friends are kind enough to say that I have a cat-like tread; I know not how that may be; at any rate the carpet I was walking upon was thick enough to smother a heavier footfall: not until I was quite close to her did my hostess become aware of my presence. Then she started violently and looked over her shoulder at me with dilating eyes. Evidently a nervous creature, I saw the pulse in her throat, strained by her attitude, flutter like a terrified bird.
"My friends are nice enough to say that I walk quietly like a cat; I’m not sure how true that is; but the carpet I was walking on was thick enough to muffle even a heavier step: not until I was right next to her did my hostess notice I was there. Then she jumped and looked back at me with wide eyes. Clearly a nervous person, I could see the pulse in her throat, strained by her posture, flutter like a scared bird."
"The next instant she had stretched out her hand with sweet English words of welcome, and the face, which I had been comparing in my mind to that of Guido's Cenci, became transformed by the arch and exquisite smile of a Greuse. For more than two years I had had no intercourse with any of my nationality. I could conceive the sound of his native tongue under such circumstances moving a man in a curious unexpected fashion.
"The next moment, she reached out her hand and greeted me with charming English words. The face I had been comparing in my mind to Guido's Cenci changed into the playful and beautiful smile of a Greuse. For over two years, I hadn't interacted with anyone from my own nationality. I could imagine the sound of his native language in such a situation affecting a person in a strange and surprising way."
"I babbled some commonplace reply, after which there was silence while we stood opposite each other, she looking at me expectantly. At length, with a sigh checked by a smile and an overtone of sadness in a voice that yet tried to be sprightly:
"I rambled on with a typical response, and then there was silence as we stood facing each other, her looking at me with anticipation. Finally, with a sigh held back by a smile and a hint of sadness in her voice that still tried to sound cheerful:"
"'Am I then so changed, Mr. Marshfield?' she asked. And all at once I knew her: the girl whose nightingale throat had redeemed the desolation of the evenings at Rathdrum, whose sunny beauty had seemed (even to my celebrated cold-blooded æstheticism) worthy to haunt a man's dreams. Yes, there was the subtle curve of the waist, the warm line of throat, the dainty foot, the slender tip-tilted fingers—witty fingers, as I had classified them—which I now shook like a true Briton, instead of availing myself of the privilege the country gave me, and kissing her slender wrist.
"'Am I really that different now, Mr. Marshfield?' she asked. And in that moment, I recognized her: the girl whose beautiful singing had brightened the lonely evenings at Rathdrum, whose radiant beauty had seemed (even to my famously reserved taste) worthy of inspiring a man's dreams. Yes, there was the graceful curve of her waist, the soft line of her throat, the delicate foot, the slender fingers that were slightly tilted—clever fingers, as I had labeled them—which I now shook like a proper Brit, instead of taking the opportunity the country allowed me and kissing her slender wrist.
"But she was changed; and I told her so with unconventional frankness, studying her closely as I spoke.
"But she was different; and I told her so with unusual honesty, observing her closely as I spoke.
"'I am afraid,' I said gravely, 'that this place does not agree with you.'
"I’m afraid," I said seriously, "that this place isn't good for you."
"She shrank from my scrutiny with a nervous movement and flushed to the roots of her red-brown hair. Then she answered coldly that I was wrong, that she was in excellent health, but that she could not expect any more than other people to preserve perennial youth (I rapidly calculated she might be two-and-twenty), though, indeed, with a little forced laugh, it was scarcely flattering to hear one had altered out of all recognition. Then, without allowing me time to reply, she plunged into a general topic of conversation which, as I should have been obtuse indeed not to take the hint, I did my best to keep up.
"She recoiled from my gaze with a nervous movement and flushed all the way to the roots of her red-brown hair. Then she coldly replied that I was mistaken, that she was in great health, but that she couldn't expect to maintain eternal youth like everyone else (I quickly calculated she was about twenty-two), though, with a forced laugh, it wasn't exactly flattering to hear that she had changed beyond recognition. Then, without giving me a chance to respond, she jumped into a general topic of conversation which, if I hadn't been completely oblivious, I would have taken as a hint, so I did my best to keep up.
"But while she talked of Vienna and Warsaw, of her distant neighbors, and last year's visitors, it was evident that her mind was elsewhere; her eye wandered, she lost the thread of her discourse, answered me at random, and smiled her piteous smile incongruously.
"But while she talked about Vienna and Warsaw, about her distant neighbors and last year's guests, it was clear that her mind was elsewhere; her gaze drifted, she lost track of what she was saying, responded to me randomly, and smiled her sad smile in an awkward way."
"However lonely she might be in her solitary splendor, the company of a countryman was evidently no such welcome diversion.
"Even though she might feel lonely in her own space, having a countryman around was clearly not a welcome distraction."
"After a little while she seemed to feel herself that she was lacking in cordiality, and, bringing her absent gaze to bear upon me with a puzzled strained look: 'I fear you will find it very dull,' she said, 'my husband is so wrapped up this winter in his country life and his sport. You are the first visitor we have had. There is nothing but guns and horses here, and you do not care for these things.'
"After a bit, she appeared to realize that she wasn't being very friendly, and, focusing her absent gaze on me with a confused, tense expression, she said, 'I’m afraid you’ll find it quite boring. My husband is so caught up in his country life and his hobbies this winter. You’re our first visitor. It’s all just guns and horses here, and I know you’re not into that stuff.'"
"The door creaked behind us; and the baron entered, in faultless evening dress. Before she turned toward him I was sharp enough to catch again the upleaping of a quick dread in her eyes, not even so much dread perhaps, I thought afterwards, as horror—the horror we notice in some animals at the nearing of a beast of prey. It was gone in a second, and she was smiling. But it was a revelation.
"The door creaked behind us, and the baron walked in, dressed impeccably for the evening. Before she turned to him, I noticed a flash of quick fear in her eyes—maybe not just fear, but horror, like what we see in some animals when a predator approaches. It disappeared in an instant, and she was smiling. But it was eye-opening."
"Perhaps he beat her in Russian fashion, and she, as an Englishwoman, was narrow-minded enough to resent this; or perhaps, merely, I had the misfortune to arrive during a matrimonial misunderstanding.
"Maybe he was hitting her in a Russian way, and she, being English, was close-minded enough to take offense at that; or perhaps, I just happened to show up during a marital dispute."
"The baron would not give me leisure to reflect; he was so very effusive in his greeting—not a hint of our previous meeting—unlike my hostess, all in all to me; eager to listen, to reply; almost affectionate, full of references to old times and genial allusions. No doubt when he chose he could be the most charming of men; there were moments when, looking at him in his quiet smile and restrained gesture, the almost exaggerated politeness of his manner to his wife, whose fingers he had kissed with pretty, old-fashioned gallantry upon his entrance, I asked myself, Could that encounter in the passage have been a dream? Could that savage in the sheepskin be my courteous entertainer?
"The baron didn’t give me a moment to think; he was so overly enthusiastic in his greeting—not a word about our previous encounter—unlike my hostess, who was completely focused on me; eager to listen, to respond; almost warm, full of references to the past and friendly remarks. No doubt he could be the most charming man when he wanted to; there were times when, watching his calm smile and measured gestures, the almost excessive politeness he showed his wife—whose fingers he had kissed with charming, old-fashioned gallantry when he arrived—I questioned whether that encounter in the hallway had been a dream. Could that savage in the sheepskin really be my polite host?"
"Just as I came in, did I hear my wife say there was nothing for you to do in this place?" he said presently to me. Then, turning to her:
"Just as I walked in, I heard my wife say there’s nothing for you to do here?" he said to me after a moment. Then, turning to her:
"You do not seem to know Mr. Marshfield. Wherever he can open his eyes there is for him something to see which might not interest other men. He will find things in my library which I have no notion of. He will discover objects for scientific observation in all the members of my household, not only in the good-looking maids—though he could, I have no doubt, tell their points as I could those of a horse. We have maidens here of several distinct races, Marshfield. We have also witches, and Jew leeches, and holy daft people. In any case, Yany, with all its dependencies, material, male and female, are at your disposal, for what you can make out of them.
"You don't seem to know Mr. Marshfield. Wherever he looks, there's always something for him to see that might not catch the attention of others. He'll find things in my library that I have no idea about. He will uncover objects for scientific study in everyone in my household, not just the attractive maids—though I'm sure he could analyze them just as I could a horse. We have young women from several different backgrounds here, Marshfield. We also have witches, Jewish doctors, and some truly eccentric folks. Anyway, Yany, everything here, both material and people, is at your service for whatever you can make of it."
"'It is good," he went on gayly, 'that you should happen to have this happy disposition, for I fear that, no later than to-morrow, I may have to absent myself from home. I have heard that there are news of wolves—they threaten to be a greater pest than usual this winter, but I am going to drive them on quite a new plan, and it will go hard with me if I don't come even with them. Well for you, by the way, Marshfield, that you did not pass within their scent to-day.' Then, musingly: 'I should not give much for the life of a traveler who happened to wander in these parts just now.' Here he interrupted himself hastily and went over to his wife, who had sunk back on her chair, livid, seemingly on the point of swooning.
"'It's good," he continued cheerfully, 'that you have this cheerful attitude, because I’m afraid that as soon as tomorrow, I might have to leave home. I’ve heard there are reports of wolves—they’re expected to be a bigger problem than usual this winter, but I’m planning to deal with them in a totally new way, and it will be tough for me if I can’t even the score. It’s a good thing for you, by the way, Marshfield, that you didn’t get too close to their scent today.' Then, thoughtfully: 'I wouldn’t give much for the life of a traveler who happened to be wandering around here right now.' He suddenly stopped and hurried over to his wife, who had slumped back in her chair, pale and seemingly about to faint."
"His gaze was devouring; so might a man look at the woman he adored, in his anxiety.
"His stare was intense, just like how a man might look at the woman he loved, filled with anxiety."
"'What! faint, Violet, alarmed!' His voice was subdued, yet there was an unmistakable thrill of emotion in it.
"'What! Faint, Violet, alarmed!' His voice was quiet, yet there was an undeniable surge of emotion in it."
"'Pshaw!' thought I to myself, 'the man is a model husband.'
"'Ugh!' I thought to myself, 'that guy is the perfect husband.'"
"She clinched her hands, and by sheer force of will seemed to pull herself together. These nervous women have often an unexpected fund of strength.
"She clenched her hands, and with sheer determination, managed to pull herself together. These anxious women often have an unexpected source of strength."
"'Come, that is well,' said the baron with a flickering smile; 'Mr. Marshfield will think you but badly acclimatized to Poland if a little wolf scare can upset you. My dear wife is so soft-hearted,' he went on to me, 'that she is capable of making herself quite ill over the sad fate that might have, but has not, overcome you. Or, perhaps,' he added, in a still gentler voice, 'her fear is that I may expose myself to danger for the public weal.'
"'Come on, that’s good,' said the baron with a slight smile; 'Mr. Marshfield will think you haven’t adjusted to Poland if a little wolf scare can rattle you. My dear wife is so tender-hearted,' he continued, 'that she could make herself quite sick over the unfortunate fate that could have, but hasn’t, affected you. Or, maybe,' he added, in an even softer tone, 'she’s worried that I might put myself in danger for the greater good.'"
"She turned her head away, but I saw her set her teeth as if to choke a sob. The baron chuckled in his throat and seemed to luxuriate in the pleasant thought.
"She turned her head away, but I saw her clench her teeth as if trying to suppress a sob. The baron chuckled to himself and seemed to revel in the pleasing thought."
"At this moment folding doors were thrown open, and supper was announced. I offered my arm, she rose and took it in silence. This silence she maintained during the first part of the meal, despite her husband's brilliant conversation and almost uproarious spirits. But by and by a bright color mounted to her cheeks and luster to her eyes. I suppose you will think me horribly unpoetical if I add that she drank several glasses of champagne one after the other, a fact which perhaps may account for the change.
"At that moment, the folding doors were thrown open, and dinner was announced. I offered my arm; she stood and took it in silence. She kept this silence during the first part of the meal, even with her husband’s engaging conversation and lively spirits. But gradually, a bright color rose to her cheeks and sparkled in her eyes. I guess you’ll think I’m pretty unromantic if I mention that she drank several glasses of champagne one after the other, which might explain the change."
"At any rate she spoke and laughed and looked lovely, and I did not wonder that the baron could hardly keep his eyes off her. But whether it was her wifely anxiety or not—it was evident her mind was not at ease through it all, and I fancied that her brightness was feverish, her merriment slightly hysterical.
"Anyway, she talked and laughed and looked beautiful, and I wasn't surprised that the baron could hardly take his eyes off her. But whether it was her worry about being a wife or not—it was clear that she wasn't completely at ease, and I thought her cheerfulness seemed a bit strained, her laughter somewhat frantic."
"After supper—an exquisite one it was—we adjourned together, in foreign fashion, to the drawing-room; the baron threw himself into a chair and, somewhat with the air of a pasha, demanded music. He was flushed; the veins of his forehead were swollen and stood out like cords; the wine drunk at table was potent: even through my phlegmatic frame it ran hotly.
"After dinner—what a fantastic meal it was—we headed into the living room, quite in a different style. The baron settled into a chair and, with a bit of a pasha-like demeanor, asked for music. He looked flushed; the veins in his forehead were bulging like ropes; the wine we drank at the table was strong: even my usually calm self felt the heat of it."
"She hesitated a moment or two, then docilely sat down to the piano. That she could sing I have already made clear: how she could sing, with what pathos, passion, as well as perfect art, I had never realized before.
"She paused for a moment, then obediently sat down at the piano. I've already mentioned that she could sing: I never fully understood how she could sing, with such emotion, passion, and flawless technique, until now."
"When the song was ended she remained for a while, with eyes lost in distance, very still, save for her quick breathing. It was clear she was moved by the music; indeed she must have thrown her whole soul into it.
"When the song ended, she stayed still for a while, her eyes gazing into the distance, hardly moving except for her quick breaths. It was obvious that the music affected her deeply; she must have poured her whole soul into it."
"At first we, the audience, paid her the rare compliment of silence. Then the baron broke forth into loud applause. 'Brava, brava! that was really said con amore. A delicious love song, delicious—but French! You must sing one of our Slav melodies for Marshfield before you allow us to go and smoke.'
"At first, we, the audience, gave her the rare compliment of silence. Then the baron burst into loud applause. 'Brava, brava! That was truly said con amore. A delightful love song, delightful—but French! You have to sing one of our Slav melodies for Marshfield before you let us go and smoke.'"
"She started from her reverie with a flush, and after a pause struck slowly a few simple chords, then began one of those strangely sweet, yet intensely pathetic Russian airs, which give one a curious revelation of the profound, endless melancholy lurking in the national mind.
"She snapped out of her daydream with a blush, and after a moment, she slowly played a few simple chords, then began one of those oddly sweet, yet deeply sad Russian tunes that reveal the profound, endless melancholy hidden in the national psyche."
"'What do you think of it?' asked the baron of me when it ceased.
"'What do you think of it?' the baron asked me when it was over."
"'What I have always thought of such music—it is that of a hopeless people; poetical, crushed, and resigned.'
"'What I've always thought about this kind of music—it's from a hopeless people; poetic, defeated, and accepting.'"
"He gave a loud laugh. 'Hear the analyst, the psychologue—why, man, it is a love song! Is it possible that we, uncivilized, are truer realists than our hypercultured Western neighbors? Have we gone to the root of the matter, in our simple way?'
"He let out a loud laugh. 'Listen to the analyst, the psychologist—come on, it's a love song! Is it possible that we, being uncivilized, are more genuine realists than our overly cultured Western neighbors? Have we, in our straightforward way, gotten to the heart of the matter?'"
"The baroness got up abruptly. She looked white and spent; there were bister circles round her eyes.
"The baroness stood up suddenly. She looked pale and exhausted; there were dark circles around her eyes."
"'I am tired,' she said, with dry lips. 'You will excuse me, Mr. Marshfield, I must really go to bed.'
"'I'm tired,' she said, her lips dry. 'Please excuse me, Mr. Marshfield, but I really need to go to bed.'"
"'Go to bed, go to bed,' cried her husband gayly. Then, quoting in Russian from the song she had just sung: 'Sleep, my little soft white dove: my little innocent tender lamb!' She hurried from the room. The baron laughed again, and, taking me familiarly by the arm, led me to his own set of apartments for the promised smoke. He ensconced me in an armchair, placed cigars of every description and a Turkish pipe ready to my hand, and a little table on which stood cut-glass flasks and beakers in tempting array.
"'Go to bed, go to bed,' her husband said cheerfully. Then, quoting in Russian from the song she had just sung: 'Sleep, my little soft white dove: my little innocent tender lamb!' She quickly left the room. The baron laughed again and, taking me casually by the arm, led me to his own suite for the promised smoke. He settled me into an armchair, provided cigars of all kinds and a Turkish pipe at my disposal, and set up a small table with cut-glass flasks and beakers arranged in an enticing display."
"After I had selected my cigar with some precautions, I glanced at him over a careless remark, and was startled to see a sudden alteration in his whole look and attitude.
"After I picked my cigar with some care, I glanced at him with a casual comment and was surprised to see a sudden change in his entire appearance and demeanor."
"'You will forgive me, Marshfield,' he said, as he caught my eye, speaking with spasmodic politeness. 'It is more than probable that I shall have to set out upon this chase I spoke of to-night, and I must now go and change my clothes, that I may be ready to start at any moment. This is the hour when it is most likely these hell beasts are to be got at. You have all you want, I hope,' interrupting an outbreak of ferocity by an effort after his former courtesy.
"'You'll forgive me, Marshfield,' he said, catching my eye and speaking with shaky politeness. 'It's very likely that I need to head out on that chase I mentioned tonight, and I have to go change my clothes so I can be ready to leave at any moment. This is the time when it's most likely to find these hellish creatures. I hope you have everything you need,' he said, interrupting a surge of anger with an attempt to regain his previous courtesy."
"It was curious to watch the man of the world struggling with the primitive man.
"It was interesting to see the worldly man clashing with the primitive man."
"'But, baron,' said I, 'I do not at all see the fun of sticking at home like this. You know my passion for witnessing everything new, strange, and outlandish. You will surely not refuse me such an opportunity for observation as a midnight wolf raid. I will do my best not to be in the way if you will take me with you.'
"'But, baron,' I said, 'I really don't see the point of staying home like this. You know how much I love experiencing everything new, weird, and foreign. You can't possibly refuse me the chance to observe a midnight wolf raid. I'll do my best not to be a bother if you take me with you.'"
"At first it seemed as if he had some difficulty in realizing the drift of my words, he was so engrossed by some inner thought. But as I repeated them, he gave vent to a loud cachinnation.
"At first, it seemed like he had trouble grasping what I was saying; he was so lost in his own thoughts. But as I repeated myself, he burst out laughing."
"'By heaven! I like your spirit,' he exclaimed, clapping me strongly on the shoulder. 'Of course you shall come. You shall,' he repeated, 'and I promise you a sight, a hunt such as you never heard or dreamed of—you will be able to tell them in England the sort of thing we can do here in that line—such wolves are rare quarry,' he added, looking slyly at me, 'and I have a new plan for getting at them.'
"'By heaven! I love your attitude,' he said, giving me a hearty slap on the shoulder. 'Of course you're coming. You are,' he emphasized again, 'and I promise you an experience, a hunt like you've never heard of or imagined—you'll be able to tell everyone back in England about what we can do here in that regard—such wolves are rare game,' he added, glancing at me with a sly grin, 'and I have a new strategy for getting to them.'"
"There was a long pause, and then there rose in the stillness the unearthly howling of the baron's hounds, a cheerful sound which only their owner's somewhat loud converse of the evening had kept from becoming excessively obtrusive.
"There was a long pause, and then the stillness was broken by the eerie howling of the baron's hounds, a lively sound that only their owner's somewhat loud conversation from earlier had prevented from becoming overly intrusive."
"'Hark at them—the beauties!' cried he, showing his short, strong teeth, pointed like a dog's in a wide grin of anticipative delight. 'They have been kept on pretty short commons, poor things! They are hungry. By the way, Marshfield, you can sit tight to a horse, I trust? If you were to roll off, you know, these splendid fellows—they would chop you up in a second. They would chop you up,' he repeated unctuously, 'snap, crunch, gobble, and there would be an end of you!'
"'Look at them—the beauties!' he exclaimed, showing his short, strong teeth, sharp like a dog's in a big grin of eager happiness. 'They haven't been fed well, poor things! They're hungry. By the way, Marshfield, you can hold on tight to a horse, right? If you were to fall off, you know, these amazing animals—they would tear you apart in an instant. They would tear you apart,' he reiterated with a smirk, 'snap, crunch, gobble, and that would be the end of you!'"
"'If I could not ride a decent horse without being thrown,' I retorted, a little stung by his manner, 'after my recent three months' torture with the Guard Cossacks, I should indeed be a hopeless subject. Do not think of frightening me from the exploit, but say frankly if my company would be displeasing.'
"'If I couldn't ride a decent horse without being thrown off,' I shot back, a bit hurt by his attitude, 'after the last three months of torture with the Guard Cossacks, I would really be a lost cause. Don't think about scaring me away from the adventure, just tell me honestly if my company would be unwelcome.'"
"'Tut!' he said, waving his hand impatiently, 'it is your affair. I have warned you. Go and get ready if you want to come. Time presses.'
"'Tut!' he said, waving his hand impatiently, 'it's your decision. I've warned you. Go get ready if you want to join us. Time is ticking.'"
"I was determined to be of the fray; my blood was up. I have hinted that the baron's Tokay had stirred it.
"I was set on staying out of the chaos; I was fired up. I’ve suggested that the baron’s Tokay had sparked it."
"I went to my room and hurriedly donned clothes more suitable for rough night work. My last care was to slip into my pockets a brace of double-barreled pistols which formed part of my traveling kit. When I returned I found the baron already booted and spurred; this without metaphor. He was stretched full length on the divan, and did not speak as I came in, or even look at me. Chewing an unlit cigar, with eyes fixed on the ceiling, he was evidently following some absorbing train of ideas.
"I went to my room and quickly put on clothes that were better suited for a rough night out. My last move was to stash a pair of double-barreled pistols in my pockets, which were part of my travel gear. When I came back, I found the baron already in his boots and spurs; this is not a metaphor. He was lying full length on the couch and didn’t say a word or even look at me when I walked in. Chewing on an unlit cigar, with his eyes fixed on the ceiling, he was clearly lost in thought."
"The silence was profound; time went by; it grew oppressive; at length, wearied out, I fell, over my chibouque, into a doze filled with puzzling visions, out of which I was awakened with a start. My companion had sprung up, very lightly, to his feet. In his throat was an odd, half-suppressed cry, grewsome to hear. He stood on tiptoe, with eyes fixed, as though looking through the wall, and I distinctly saw his ears point in the intensity of his listening.
"The silence was deep; time passed; it became overwhelming; finally, exhausted, I dozed off over my pipe, filled with confusing dreams, from which I was jolted awake. My companion had jumped up lightly to his feet. He made an odd, half-suppressed sound that was unsettling to hear. He stood on his toes, his eyes fixed, as if peering through the wall, and I could clearly see his ears perk up with the intensity of his listening."
"After a moment, with hasty, noiseless energy, and without the slightest ceremony, he blew the lamps out, drew back the heavy curtains and threw the tall window wide open. A rush of icy air, and the bright rays of the moon—gibbous, I remember, in her third quarter—filled the room. Outside the mist had condensed, and the view was unrestricted over the white plains at the foot of the hill.
"After a moment, with quick, silent energy and no ceremony at all, he blew out the lamps, pulled back the heavy curtains, and threw the tall window wide open. A blast of icy air and the bright rays of the moon—gibbous, I remember, in her third quarter—filled the room. Outside, the mist had settled, and the view was wide open over the white plains at the base of the hill."
"The baron stood motionless in the open window, callous to the cold in which, after a minute, I could hardly keep my teeth from chattering, his head bent forward, still listening. I listened too, with 'all my ears,' but could not catch a sound; indeed the silence over the great expanse of snow might have been called awful; even the dogs were mute.
"The baron stood still in the open window, indifferent to the cold that had me on the verge of shivering after a minute, his head leaned forward, still listening. I listened too, with all my attention, but couldn’t hear anything; in fact, the silence over the vast stretch of snow felt terrifying; even the dogs were silent."
"Presently, far, far away, came a faint tinkle of bells; so faint, at first, that I thought it was but fancy, then distincter. It was even more eerie than the silence, I thought, though I knew it could come but from some passing sleigh. All at once that ceased, and again my duller senses could perceive nothing, though I saw by my host's craning neck that he was more on the alert than ever. But at last I too heard once more, this time not bells, but as it were the tread of horses muffled by the snow, intermittent and dull, yet drawing nearer. And then in the inner silence of the great house it seemed to me I caught the noise of closing doors; but here the hounds, as if suddenly becoming alive to some disturbance, raised the same fearsome concert of yells and barks with which they had greeted my arrival, and listening became useless.
"Right now, far, far away, I heard a faint tinkling of bells; so faint, at first, that I thought it was just my imagination, then it became clearer. It was even creepier than the silence, I thought, though I knew it could only come from some passing sleigh. Suddenly that stopped, and again my dulled senses could perceive nothing, though I could see from my host's straining neck that he was more alert than ever. But finally, I heard again, this time not bells, but what sounded like the footsteps of horses muted by the snow, irregular and dull, yet getting closer. Then, in the quiet of the big house, it seemed to me I heard the sound of closing doors; but at that moment, the hounds, as if suddenly aware of some disturbance, erupted into the same terrifying chorus of howls and barks that had greeted my arrival, making it useless to listen."
"I had risen to my feet. My host, turning from the window, seized my shoulder with a fierce grip, and bade me 'hold my noise'; for a second or two I stood motionless under his iron talons, then he released me with an exultant whisper: "Now for our chase!" and made for the door with a spring. Hastily gulping down a mouthful of arrack from one of the bottles on the table, I followed him, and, guided by the sound of his footsteps before me, groped my way through passages as black as Erebus.
"I stood up. My host, turning away from the window, grabbed my shoulder tightly and told me to be quiet. For a moment, I was frozen under his strong grip, then he let go with an excited whisper: 'Now for our chase!' and dashed for the door. Quickly swallowing a mouthful of arrack from one of the bottles on the table, I followed him, and, listening to the sound of his footsteps ahead, I made my way through hallways as dark as night."
"After a time, which seemed a long one, a small door was flung open in front, and I saw Kossowski glide into the moonlit courtyard and cross the square. When I too came out he was disappearing into the gaping darkness of the open stable door, and there I overtook him.
"After what felt like a long time, a small door swung open, and I saw Kossowski glide into the moonlit courtyard and cross the square. When I stepped outside, he was vanishing into the dark abyss of the open stable door, and I caught up to him there."
"A man who seemed to have been sleeping in a corner jumped up at our entrance, and led out a horse ready saddled. In obedience to a gruff order from his master, as the latter mounted, he then brought forward another which he had evidently thought to ride himself and held the stirrup for me.
"A guy who looked like he had been napping in a corner jumped up when we walked in and brought out a saddled horse. Following a rough command from his boss, as the boss got on, he then presented another horse that he clearly intended to ride himself and held the stirrup for me."
"We came delicately forth, and the Cossack hurriedly barred the great door behind us. I caught a glimpse of his worn, scarred face by the moonlight, as he peeped after us for a second before shutting himself in; it was stricken with terror.
"We stepped out carefully, and the Cossack quickly closed the big door behind us. I caught a glimpse of his weathered, scarred face in the moonlight as he glanced after us for a moment before locking himself in; it was filled with fear."
"The baron trotted briskly toward the kennels, from whence there was now issuing a truly infernal clangor, and, as my steed followed suit of his own accord, I could see how he proceeded dexterously to unbolt the gates without dismounting, while the beasts within dashed themselves against them and tore the ground in their fury of impatience.
"The baron rode quickly toward the kennels, where a truly hellish noise was coming from, and as my horse followed on its own, I saw how he skillfully unlatched the gates without getting off, while the animals inside slammed against them and tore up the ground in their impatience."
"He smiled, as he swung back the barriers at last, and his 'beauties' came forth. Seven or eight monstrous brutes, hounds of a kind unknown to me: fulvous and sleek of coat, tall on their legs, square-headed, long-tailed, deep-chested; with terrible jaws slobbering in eagerness. They leaped around and up at us, much to our horses' distaste. Kossowski, still smiling, lashed at them unsparingly with his hunting whip, and they responded, not with yells of pain, but with snarls of fury.
"He smiled as he finally swung back the barriers, and his 'beauties' came out. Seven or eight monstrous creatures, hounds of a type I had never seen before: tawny and sleek, tall on their legs, square-headed, long-tailed, deep-chested; with terrible jaws drooling in anticipation. They jumped around us and at us, much to our horses' displeasure. Kossowski, still smiling, mercilessly lashed at them with his hunting whip, and they reacted not with cries of pain, but with growls of anger."
"Managing his restless steed and his cruel whip with consummate ease, my host drove the unruly crew before him out of the precincts, then halted and bent down from his saddle to examine some slight prints in the snow which led, not the way I had come, but toward what seemed another avenue. In a second or two the hounds were gathered round this spot, their great snake-like tails quivering, nose to earth, yelping with excitement. I had some ado to manage my horse, and my eyesight was far from being as keen as the baron's, but I had then no doubt he had come already upon wolf tracks, and I shuddered mentally, thinking of the sleigh bells.
"Managing his restless horse and his harsh whip with perfect skill, my host drove the rowdy group out of the area, then stopped and leaned down from his saddle to look at some faint prints in the snow that led, not the way I had come, but toward what appeared to be a different path. In a moment, the hounds gathered around this spot, their long, snake-like tails twitching, noses to the ground, yelping with excitement. I struggled to control my horse, and my eyesight wasn't as sharp as the baron's, but I had no doubt he had already found wolf tracks, and I felt a chill at the thought of the sleigh bells."
"Suddenly Kossowski raised himself from his strained position; under his low fur cap his face, with its fixed smile, looked scarcely human in the white light: and then we broke into a hand canter just as the hounds dashed, in a compact body, along the trail.
"Suddenly, Kossowski lifted himself from his awkward position; under his low fur cap, his face, with its stiff smile, looked almost inhuman in the bright light. Then we broke into a hand gallop just as the hounds raced, in a tight group, along the trail."
"But we had not gone more than a few hundred yards before they began to falter, then straggled, stopped and ran back and about with dismal cries. It was clear to me they had lost the scent. My companion reined in his horse, and mine, luckily a well-trained brute, halted of himself.
"But we hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards before they started to stumble, then lagged behind, stopped, and ran around with sad cries. It was obvious to me they had lost the scent. My friend pulled back on his horse, and mine, luckily a well-trained beast, stopped on its own."
"We had reached a bend in a broad avenue of firs and larches, and just where we stood, and where the hounds ever returned and met nose to nose in frantic conclave, the snow was trampled and soiled, and a little farther on planed in a great sweep, as if by a turning sleigh. Beyond was a double-furrowed track of skaits and regular hoof prints leading far away.
"We had come to a curve in a wide street lined with firs and larches, and right where we were standing, where the hounds kept coming back and meeting nose to nose in a frantic gathering, the snow was trampled and dirty. A little further ahead, it was smooth like a big turn made by a sleigh. Beyond that, there were two furrows from skates and regular hoof prints leading off into the distance."
"Before I had time to reflect upon the bearing of this unexpected interruption, Kossowski, as if suddenly possessed by a devil, fell upon the hounds with his whip, flogging them upon the new track, uttering the while the most savage cries I have ever heard issue from human throat. The disappointed beasts were nothing loath to seize upon another trail; after a second of hesitation they had understood, and were off upon it at a tearing pace, we after them at the best speed of our horses.
"Before I had a chance to think about the impact of this unexpected interruption, Kossowski, as if suddenly taken over by some sort of madness, attacked the hounds with his whip, hitting them on the fresh track while letting out the most savage screams I have ever heard from a person. The frustrated animals were more than willing to jump onto another trail; after a brief moment of hesitation, they got it and were off at a breakneck speed, with us following them as fast as our horses could go."
"Some unformed idea that we were going to escort, or rescue, benighted travelers flickered dimly in my mind as I galloped through the night air; but when I managed to approach my companion and called out to him for explanation, he only turned half round and grinned at me.
"Some vague idea that we were going to escort, or rescue, lost travelers flickered dimly in my mind as I raced through the night air; but when I got close to my companion and called out to him for an explanation, he just turned halfway and grinned at me."
"Before us lay now the white plain, scintillating under the high moon's rays. That light is deceptive; I could be sure of nothing upon the wide expanse but of the dark, leaping figures of the hounds already spread out in a straggling line, some right ahead, others just in front of us. In a short time also the icy wind, cutting my face mercilessly as we increased our pace, well nigh blinded me with tears of cold.
"Now, before us was the white plain, shimmering under the bright moonlight. That light is misleading; I couldn't be certain of anything on the vast expanse except for the dark, jumping figures of the hounds already arranged in a scattered line, some directly ahead, others just in front of us. Soon, the icy wind, slicing my face mercilessly as we picked up our speed, nearly blinded me with tears from the cold."
"I can hardly realize how long this pursuit after an unseen prey lasted; I can only remember that I was getting rather faint with fatigue, and ignominiously held on to my pommel, when all of a sudden the black outline of a sleigh merged into sight in front of us.
"I can barely believe how long this chase after something I couldn't see went on; I just remember feeling pretty weak from exhaustion and embarrassingly clutching my saddle when, out of nowhere, the dark shape of a sleigh appeared in front of us."
"I rubbed my smarting eyes with my benumbed hand; we were gaining upon it second by second; two of those hell hounds of the baron's were already within a few leaps of it.
"I rubbed my stinging eyes with my numb hand; we were closing in on it second by second; two of those hellhounds of the baron's were already just a few jumps away from it."
"Soon I was able to make out two figures, one standing up and urging the horses on with whip and voice, the other clinging to the back seat and looking toward us in an attitude of terror. A great fear crept into my half-frozen brain—were we not bringing deadly danger instead of help to these travelers? Great God! did the baron mean to use them as a bait for his new method of wolf hunting?
"Soon, I could see two figures, one standing and urging the horses on with a whip and shouts, and the other clinging to the back seat, looking at us in terror. A deep fear washed over my half-frozen mind—were we bringing deadly danger instead of help to these travelers? Oh my God! Was the baron planning to use them as bait for his new way of hunting wolves?"
"I would have turned upon Kossowski with a cry of expostulation or warning, but he, urging on his hounds as he galloped on their flank, howling and gesticulating like a veritable Hun, passed me by like a flash—and all at once I knew."
"I would have shouted at Kossowski with a cry of protest or warning, but he, driving his dogs forward as he rushed past me, howling and waving his arms like a true barbarian, flew by in an instant—and suddenly I understood."
Marshfield paused for a moment and sent his pale smile round upon his listeners, who now showed no signs of sleepiness; he knocked the ash from his cigar, twisted the latter round in his mouth, and added dryly:
Marshfield paused for a moment and flashed a faint smile at his listeners, who were now wide awake; he tapped the ash from his cigar, turned it around in his mouth, and said dryly:
"And I confess it seemed to me a little strong even for a baron in the Carpathians. The travelers were our quarry. But the reason why the Lord of Yany had turned man-hunter I was yet to learn. Just then I had to direct my energies to frustrating his plans. I used my spurs mercilessly. While I drew up even with him I saw the two figures in the sleigh change places; he who had hitherto driven now faced back, while his companion took the reins, there was the pale blue sheen of a revolver barrel under the moonlight, followed by a yellow flash, and the nearest hound rolled over in the snow.
"And I have to admit it seemed a bit intense even for a baron in the Carpathians. The travelers were our target. But I still needed to find out why the Lord of Yany had become a man-hunter. For now, I had to focus my efforts on sabotaging his plans. I used my spurs without mercy. As I caught up to him, I saw the two figures in the sleigh switch places; the one who had been driving now turned to face backward, while his partner took the reins. I noticed the pale blue gleam of a revolver barrel in the moonlight, followed by a yellow flash, and the closest hound fell over in the snow."
"With an oath the baron twisted round in his saddle to call up and urge on the remainder. My horse had taken fright at the report and dashed irresistibly forward, bringing me at once almost level with the fugitives, and the next instant the revolver was turned menacingly toward me. There was no time to explain; my pistol was already drawn, and as another of the brutes bounded up, almost under my horse's feet, I loosed it upon him. I must have let off both barrels at once, for the weapon flew out of my hand, but the hound's back was broken. I presume the traveler understood; at any rate, he did not fire at me.
"With an oath, the baron turned in his saddle to rally and urge on the others. My horse had gotten spooked by the sound and bolted forward, bringing me almost level with the fugitives in an instant, and the next moment, the revolver was aimed threateningly at me. There wasn’t any time to explain; my pistol was already drawn, and as another one of the brutes jumped up, nearly under my horse's hooves, I fired at him. I must have pulled the trigger on both barrels at once because the weapon flew out of my hand, but the dog's back was broken. I assume the traveler got the message; at any rate, he didn’t shoot at me."
"In moments of intense excitement like these, strangely enough, the mind is extraordinarily open to impressions. I shall never forget that man's countenance in the sledge, as he stood upright and defied us in his mortal danger; it was young, very handsome, the features not distorted, but set into a sort of desperate, stony calm, and I knew it, beyond all doubt, for that of an Englishman. And then I saw his companion—it was the baron's wife. And I understood why the bells had been removed.
"In moments of intense excitement like this, oddly enough, the mind is incredibly open to experiences. I'll never forget that man's face in the sled, as he stood tall and challenged us in his life-threatening situation; it was youthful, very attractive, his features not twisted, but fixed in a sort of desperate, stony calm, and I recognized it, without a doubt, as that of an Englishman. Then I saw his companion—it was the baron's wife. And I understood why the bells had been taken away."
"It takes a long time to say this; it only required an instant to see it. The loud explosion of my pistol had hardly ceased to ring before the baron, with a fearful imprecation, was upon me. First he lashed at me with his whip as we tore along side by side, and then I saw him wind the reins round his off arm and bend over, and I felt his angry fingers close tightly on my right foot. The next instant I should have been lifted out of my saddle, but there came another shot from the sledge. The baron's horse plunged and stumbled, and the baron, hanging on to my foot with a fierce grip, was wrenched from his seat. His horse, however, was up again immediately, and I was released, and then I caught a confused glimpse of the frightened and wounded animal galloping wildly away to the right, leaving a black track of blood behind him in the snow, his master, entangled in the reins, running with incredible swiftness by his side and endeavoring to vault back into the saddle.
"It takes a long time to explain this; it only took a moment to see it. The loud bang of my gun had barely faded away before the baron, cursing in fear, was on me. First, he lashed at me with his whip as we raced side by side, and then I saw him wrap the reins around his left arm and lean down, feeling his angry fingers tighten around my right foot. In the next moment, I would have been pulled out of my saddle, but then there was another shot from the sledge. The baron's horse stumbled, and the baron, gripping my foot fiercely, was yanked from his seat. However, his horse quickly regained its balance, and I was freed, allowing me to catch a blurry glimpse of the scared and injured horse galloping wildly to the right, leaving a trail of blood in the snow, while its master, tangled in the reins, ran with astonishing speed beside it, trying to jump back into the saddle."
"And now came to pass a terrible thing which, in his savage plans, my host had doubtless never anticipated.
"And now, a terrible thing happened that my host had definitely not seen coming in his brutal plans."
"One of the hounds that had during this short check recovered lost ground, coming across this hot trail of blood, turned away from his course, and with a joyous yell darted after the running man. In another instant the remainder of the pack was upon the new scent.
"One of the hounds that had regained some ground during this brief pause, picked up the hot trail of blood, turned from its path, and with a happy bark sprinted after the fleeing man. In just a moment, the rest of the pack caught on to the new scent."
"As soon as I could stop my horse, I tried to turn him in the direction the new chase had taken, but just then, through the night air, over the receding sound of the horse's scamper and the sobbing of the pack in full cry, there came a long scream, and after that a sickening silence. And I knew that somewhere yonder, under the beautiful moonlight, the Baron Kossowski was being devoured by his starving dogs.
"As soon as I could stop my horse, I tried to turn him toward the direction of the new chase, but just then, through the night air, over the fading sound of the horse's gallop and the pack's sobbing in full cry, there came a long scream, followed by a sickening silence. And I knew that somewhere out there, under the beautiful moonlight, Baron Kossowski was being devoured by his starving dogs."
"I looked round, with the sweat on my face, vaguely, for some human being to share the horror of the moment, and I saw, gliding away, far away in the white distance, the black silhouette of the sledge."
"I looked around, sweat on my face, searching for someone to share the horror of the moment, and I saw, moving away, far in the white distance, the black silhouette of the sled."
"Well?" said we, in divers tones of impatience, curiosity, or horror, according to our divers temperaments, as the speaker uncrossed his legs and gazed at us in mild triumph, with all the air of having said his say, and satisfactorily proved his point.
"Well?" we said, in various tones of impatience, curiosity, or horror, depending on our different moods, as the speaker uncrossed his legs and looked at us with a mild sense of triumph, as if he'd said his piece and successfully made his point.
"Well," repeated he, "what more do you want to know? It will interest you but slightly, I am sure, to hear how I found my way back to the Hof; or how I told as much as I deemed prudent of the evening's grewsome work to the baron's servants, who, by the way, to my amazement, displayed the profoundest and most unmistakable sorrow at the tidings, and sallied forth (at their head the Cossack who had seen us depart) to seek for his remains. Excuse the unpleasantness of the remark: I fear the dogs must have left very little of him, he had dieted them so carefully. However, since it was to have been a case of 'chop, crunch, and gobble,' as the baron had it, I preferred that that particular fate should have overtaken him rather than me—or, for that matter, either of those two country people of ours in the sledge.
"Well," he repeated, "what else do you want to know? I’m sure you'll be only slightly interested to hear how I made my way back to the Hof; or how much I felt was safe to share about the evening's gruesome work with the baron's servants, who, to my surprise, showed the deepest and most unmistakable grief at the news, and set out (led by the Cossack who had seen us leave) to look for his remains. I apologize for the unpleasantness of that thought: I’m afraid the dogs must have left almost nothing of him, since he had fed them so carefully. Still, since it was supposed to be a case of 'chop, crunch, and gobble,' as the baron put it, I’d much rather that fate had befallen him instead of me—or, for that matter, either of those two locals in the sled.
"Nor am I going to inflict upon you," continued Marshfield, after draining his glass, "a full account of my impressions when I found myself once more in that immense, deserted, and stricken house, so luxuriously prepared for the mistress who had fled from it; how I philosophized over all this, according to my wont; the conjectures I made as to the first acts of the drama; the untold sufferings my countrywoman must have endured from the moment her husband first grew jealous till she determined on this desperate step; as to how and when she had met her lover, how they communicated, and how the baron had discovered the intended flitting in time to concoct his characteristic revenge.
"Nor am I going to bore you," continued Marshfield, after finishing his drink, "with a complete account of my feelings when I found myself once again in that huge, empty, and haunting house, so lavishly set up for the mistress who had escaped from it; how I pondered over all of this, as I usually do; the guesses I made about the first scenes of the drama; the countless sufferings my fellow countrywoman must have gone through from the moment her husband first became jealous until she decided on this desperate action; as well as how and when she had met her lover, how they communicated, and how the baron had figured out the planned departure just in time to devise his typical revenge."
"One thing you may be sure of, I had no mind to remain at Yany an hour longer than necessary. I even contrived to get well clear of the neighborhood before the lady's absence was discovered. Luckily for me—or I might have been taxed with connivance, though indeed the simple household did not seem to know what suspicion was, and accepted my account with childlike credence—very typical, and very convenient to me at the same time."
"One thing you can be sure of is that I didn’t want to stay in Yany a minute longer than I had to. I even managed to leave the area well before anyone noticed the lady was gone. Luckily for me—otherwise, I might have been blamed for being involved—though honestly, the simple household didn’t seem to know what suspicion was and took my explanation at face value—very typical, and very convenient for me at the same time."
"But how do you know," said one of us, "that the man was her lover? He might have been her brother or some other relative."
"But how do you know," one of us asked, "that the guy was her lover? He could have been her brother or some other relative."
"That," said Marshfield, with his little flat laugh, "I happen to have ascertained—and, curiously enough, only a few weeks ago. It was at the play, between the acts, from my comfortable seat (the first row in the pit). I was looking leisurely round the house when I caught sight of a woman, in a box close by, whose head was turned from me, and who presented the somewhat unusual spectacle of a young neck and shoulders of the most exquisite contour—and perfectly gray hair; and not dull gray, but rather of a pleasing tint like frosted silver. This aroused my curiosity. I brought my glasses to a focus on her and waited patiently till she turned round. Then I recognized the Baroness Kassowski, and I no longer wondered at the young hair being white.
"That," said Marshfield with his small flat laugh, "I happened to find out—and, interestingly enough, just a few weeks ago. It was at the theater, during intermission, from my comfy seat (the first row in the stalls). I was casually looking around the audience when I noticed a woman in a box nearby, whose head was turned away from me, presenting the rather unusual sight of a young neck and shoulders with the most exquisite shape—and perfectly gray hair; and not dull gray, but more of a nice shade like frosted silver. This piqued my curiosity. I focused my binoculars on her and waited patiently until she turned around. Then I recognized Baroness Kassowski, and I no longer questioned why her youthful hair was white."
"Yet she looked placid and happy; strangely so, it seemed to me, under the sudden reviving in my memory of such scenes as I have now described. But presently I understood further: beside her, in close attendance, was the man of the sledge, a handsome fellow with much of a military air about him.
"Yet she looked calm and happy; oddly so, it seemed to me, given the sudden recall of the scenes I've just described. But soon I understood more: next to her, close by, was the guy from the sled, a handsome guy with a strong military vibe."
"During the course of the evening, as I watched, I saw a friend of mine come into the box, and at the end I slipped out into the passage to catch him as he came out.
"During the evening, as I watched, I saw a friend of mine come into the box, and at the end I slipped out into the hallway to catch him as he exited."
"'Who is the woman with the white hair?' I asked. Then, in the fragmentary style approved of by ultra-fashionable young men—this earnest-languid mode of speech presents curious similarities in all languages—he told me: 'Most charming couple in London—awfully pretty, wasn't she?—he had been in the Guards—attaché at Vienna once—they adored each other. White hair, devilish queer, wasn't it? Suited her, somehow. And then she had been married to a Russian, or something, somewhere in the wilds, and their names were—' But do you know," said Marshfield, interrupting himself, "I think I had better let you find that out for yourselves, if you care."
"Who is the woman with the white hair?" I asked. Then, in the trendy, fragmented way that fashionable young men speak—this laid-back yet intense style has some interesting similarities across all languages—he told me: "They’re the most charming couple in London—super pretty, right? He used to be in the Guards—an attaché in Vienna once—they adored each other. White hair, really strange, wasn't it? It somehow suited her. And she had been married to a Russian, or something, out in the wilds, and their names were—" But you know," Marshfield said, interrupting himself, "I think I’d better let you find that out for yourselves if you’re interested."
Stanley J. Weyman
The Fowl in the Pot
An Episode Adapted from the Memoirs of Maximilian de Bethune, Duke of Sully
An Episode Adapted from the Memoirs of Maximilian de Bethune, Duke of Sully
What I am going to relate may seem to some merely to be curious and on a party with the diverting story of M. Boisrosé, which I have set down in an earlier part of my memoirs. But among the calumnies of those who have never ceased to attack me since the death of the late king, the statement that I kept from his majesty things which should have reached his ears has always had a prominent place, though a thousand times refuted by my friends, and those who from an intimate acquaintance with events could judge how faithfully I labored to deserve the confidence with which my master honored me. Therefore, I take it in hand to show by an example, trifling in itself, the full knowledge of affairs which the king had, and to prove that in many matters, which were never permitted to become known to the idlers of the court, he took a personal share, worthy as much of Haroun as of Alexander.
What I’m about to share might seem to some just an interesting story, similar to the entertaining tale of M. Boisrosé that I wrote about earlier in my memoirs. However, among the false accusations from those who have never stopped attacking me since the late king's death, the claim that I withheld information from His Majesty has always been prominent, despite being disproven countless times by my friends and those who, through their close understanding of events, could see how hard I worked to earn the trust that my master gave me. So, I’m going to use a small example to demonstrate the king’s complete knowledge of affairs and to show that in many matters, which were never allowed to be known by the court's idle gossipers, he took a direct role, deserving of as much respect as Haroun or Alexander.
It was my custom, before I entered upon those negotiations with the Prince of Condé which terminated in the recovery of the estate of Villebon, where I now principally reside, to spend a part of the autumn and winter at Rosny. On these occasions I was in the habit of leaving Paris with a considerable train of Swiss, pages, valets, and grooms, together with the maids of honor and waiting women of the duchess. We halted to take dinner at Poissy, and generally contrived to reach Rosny toward nightfall, so as to sup by the light of flambeaux in a manner enjoyable enough, though devoid of that state which I have ever maintained, and enjoined upon my children, as at once the privilege and burden of rank.
It was my routine, before I started those negotiations with the Prince of Condé that led to the recovery of the estate of Villebon, where I mainly live now, to spend part of the autumn and winter at Rosny. During these times, I usually left Paris with a large entourage of Swiss, pages, servants, and grooms, along with the duchess's maids of honor and ladies-in-waiting. We would stop for dinner in Poissy and typically managed to arrive at Rosny around nightfall, so we could have supper by the light of torches in a way that was quite enjoyable, even though it lacked the formality that I have always upheld, and insisted my children adhere to, as both a privilege and a responsibility of our status.
At the time of which I am speaking I had for my favorite charger the sorrel horse which the Duke of Mercoeur presented to me with a view to my good offices at the time of the king's entry into Paris; and which I honestly transferred to his majesty in accordance with a principle laid down in another place. The king insisted on returning it to me, and for several years I rode it on these annual visits to Rosny. What was more remarkable was that on each of these occasions it cast a shoe about the middle of the afternoon, and always when we were within a short league of the village of Aubergenville. Though I never had with me less than half a score of led horses, I had such an affection for the sorrel that I preferred to wait until it was shod, rather than accommodate myself to a nag of less easy paces; and would allow my household to precede me, staying behind myself with at most a guard or two, my valet, and a page.
At the time I’m talking about, my favorite horse was the sorrel that the Duke of Mercoeur gave me to help out when the king entered Paris. I honestly returned it to his majesty based on a principle I explained elsewhere. The king insisted on giving it back to me, and for several years, I rode it during my annual visits to Rosny. What was even more interesting was that every time, it lost a shoe around the middle of the afternoon, and always when we were just a short distance from the village of Aubergenville. Even though I always had at least a dozen extra horses with me, I was so attached to the sorrel that I preferred to wait until it was re-shod rather than ride a less smooth horse. I would let my household go ahead while I stayed behind with just a couple of guards, my valet, and a page.
The forge at Aubergenville was kept by a smith of some skill, a cheerful fellow, whom I always remembered to reward, considering my own position rather than his services, with a gold livre. His joy at receiving what was to him the income of a year was great, and never failed to reimburse me; in addition to which I took some pleasure in unbending, and learning from this simple peasant and loyal man, what the taxpayers were saying of me and my reforms—a duty I always felt I owed to the king my master.
The forge in Aubergenville was run by a skilled blacksmith, a cheerful guy, whom I always made sure to reward, thinking more about my own status than his work, with a gold livre. His happiness at receiving what was basically a year’s income for him was immense, and it always paid me back in spades; plus, I enjoyed relaxing a bit and listening to this straightforward peasant and loyal man talk about what the taxpayers thought of me and my reforms—a responsibility I always felt I had to my king.
As a man of breeding it would ill become me to set down the homely truths I thus learned. The conversations of the vulgar are little suited to a nobleman's memoirs; but in this I distinguish between the Duke of Sully and the king's minister, and it is in the latter capacity that I relate what passed on these diverting occasions. "Ho, Simon," I would say, encouraging the poor man as he came bowing and trembling before me, "how goes it, my friend?"
As a well-bred man, it wouldn't be fitting for me to write down the simple truths I learned this way. The conversations of ordinary people don't really belong in a nobleman's memoirs; however, I make a distinction between the Duke of Sully and the king's minister, and it's in the latter role that I share what happened during these entertaining times. "Hey, Simon," I would say, encouraging the poor man as he came bowing and trembling before me, "how are you doing, my friend?"
"Badly," he would answer, "very badly until your lordship came this way."
"Not well," he would reply, "really not well until you showed up, my lord."
"And how is that, little man?"
"And how's that going, little man?"
"Oh, it is the roads," he always replied, shaking his bald head as he began to set about his business. "The roads since your lordship became surveyor-general are so good that not one horse in a hundred casts a shoe; and then there are so few highwaymen now that not one robber's plates do I replace in a twelvemonth. There is where it is."
"Oh, it's the roads," he always replied, shaking his bald head as he got to work. "The roads have gotten so good since you became surveyor-general that not one horse in a hundred loses a shoe; and there are so few highwaymen nowadays that I don't replace any robbers' plates in a whole year. That's where it is."
At this I was highly delighted.
At this, I was really pleased.
"Still, since I began to pass this way times have not been so bad with you, Simon," I would answer.
"Still, ever since I started coming this way, things haven’t been too bad for you, Simon," I would reply.
Thereto he had one invariable reply.
He always had the same response.
"No; thanks to Ste. Geneviève and your lordship, whom we call in this village the poor man's friend, I have a fowl in the pot."
"No; thanks to Ste. Geneviève and you, my lord, whom we refer to in this village as the friend of the poor, I have a bird in the pot."
This phrase so pleased me that I repeated it to the king. It tickled his fancy also, and for some years it was a very common remark of that good and great ruler, that he hoped to live to see every peasant with a fowl in his pot.
This phrase made me so happy that I repeated it to the king. He liked it too, and for several years it became a popular saying from that kind and great ruler, who hoped to see every peasant with a chicken in his pot.
"But why," I remember I once asked this honest fellow—it was on the last occasion of the sorrel falling lame there—"do you thank Ste. Geneviève?"
"But why," I remember asking this honest guy—it was the last time the sorrel went lame there—"do you thank Ste. Geneviève?"
"She is my patron saint," he answered.
"She is my guardian angel," he replied.
"Then you are a Parisian?"
"So you’re a Parisian?"
"Your lordship is always right."
"You’re always right, my lord."
"But does her saintship do you any good?" I asked curiously.
"But does her sainthood benefit you in any way?" I asked with curiosity.
"Certainly, by your lordship's leave. My wife prays to her and she loosens the nails in the sorrel's shoes."
"Sure thing, with your permission. My wife prays to her, and she removes the nails from the sorrel's shoes."
"In fact she pays off an old grudge," I answered, "for there was a time when Paris liked me little; but hark ye, master smith, I am not sure that this is not an act of treason to conspire with Madame Geneviève against the comfort of the king's minister. What think you, you rascal; can you pass the justice elm without a shiver?"
"In fact, she’s settling an old score," I replied, "because there was a time when Paris didn't think much of me; but listen, master smith, I’m not sure if this isn't treason to team up with Madame Geneviève against the comfort of the king's minister. What do you think, you rascal; can you walk past the justice elm without feeling a chill?"
This threw the simple fellow into a great fear, which the sight of the livre of gold speedily converted into joy as stupendous. Leaving him still staring at his fortune I rode away; but when we had gone some little distance, the aspect of his face, when I charged him with treason, or my own unassisted discrimination suggested a clew to the phenomenon.
This terrified the simple guy, but the sight of the gold quickly turned his fear into amazing joy. I left him still staring at his luck and rode away; however, after we had traveled a bit, the look on his face when I accused him of betrayal, or maybe my own keen sense, provided a clue to the situation.
"La Trape," I said to my valet—the same who was with me at Cahors—"what is the name of the innkeeper at Poissy, at whose house we are accustomed to dine?"
"La Trape," I said to my valet—the same one who was with me at Cahors—"what's the name of the innkeeper in Poissy, where we usually have dinner?"
"Andrew, may it please your lordship."
"Andrew, if it pleases you, my lord."
"Andrew! I thought so!" I exclaimed, smiting my thigh. "Simon and Andrew his brother! Answer, knave, and, if you have permitted me to be robbed these many times, tremble for your ears. Is he not brother to the smith at Aubergenville who has just shod my horse?"
"Andrew! I knew it!" I exclaimed, slapping my thigh. "Simon and his brother Andrew! Answer me, fool, and if you've let me be robbed all these times, be afraid for your ears. Isn't he the brother of the blacksmith in Aubergenville who just put shoes on my horse?"
La Trape professed to be ignorant on this point, but a groom who had stayed behind with me, having sought my permission to speak, said it was so, adding that Master Andrew had risen in the world through large dealings in hay, which he was wont to take daily into Paris and sell, and that he did not now acknowledge or see anything of his brother the smith, though it was believed that he retained a sneaking liking for him.
La Trape claimed to know nothing about this, but a groom who had stayed back with me, after asking for my permission to speak, said it was true. He added that Master Andrew had improved his status through significant hay trades, which he used to take to Paris and sell every day. He also mentioned that Master Andrew no longer acknowledged or interacted with his brother the blacksmith, although it was believed he still had a hidden fondness for him.
On receiving this confirmation of my suspicions, my vanity as well as my sense of justice led me to act with the promptitude which I have exhibited in greater emergencies. I rated La Trape for his carelessness of my interests in permitting this deception to be practiced on me; and the main body of my attendants being now in sight, I ordered him to take two Swiss and arrest both brothers without delay. It wanted yet three hours of sunset, and I judged that, by hard riding, they might reach Rosny with their prisoners before bedtime.
Upon getting this confirmation of my suspicions, my pride and sense of fairness pushed me to act quickly, just like I have in bigger emergencies. I scolded La Trape for being careless with my interests by allowing this deception to happen to me; and since most of my attendants were now in sight, I ordered him to take two Swiss guards and arrest both brothers immediately. It was still three hours before sunset, and I figured that with fast riding, they could reach Rosny with their prisoners before bedtime.
I spent some time while still on the road in considering what punishment I should inflict on the culprits; and finally laid aside the purpose I had at first conceived of putting them to death—an infliction they had richly deserved—in favor of a plan which I thought might offer me some amusement. For the execution of this I depended upon Maignan, my equerry, who was a man of lively imagination, being the same who had of his own motion arranged and carried out the triumphal procession, in which I was borne to Rosny after the battle of Ivry. Before I sat down to supper I gave him his directions; and as I had expected, news was brought to me while I was at table that the prisoners had arrived.
I spent some time on the road thinking about what punishment I should give the culprits. Eventually, I set aside my initial idea of executing them—something they truly deserved—and opted for a plan that I thought might provide me with some entertainment. For this, I counted on Maignan, my equerry, who had a lively imagination. He was the same guy who had organized and executed the triumphant procession that brought me to Rosny after the battle of Ivry. Before I sat down for dinner, I gave him my instructions. As I expected, I was informed while I was at the table that the prisoners had arrived.
Thereupon I informed the duchess and the company generally, for, as was usual, a number of my country neighbors had come to compliment me on my return, that there was some sport of a rare kind on foot; and we adjourned, Maignan, followed by four pages bearing lights, leading the way to that end of the terrace which abuts on the linden avenue. Here, a score of grooms holding torches aloft had been arranged in a circle so that the impromptu theater thus formed, which Maignan had ordered with much taste, was as light as in the day. On a sloping bank at one end seats had been placed for those who had supped at my table, while the rest of the company found such places of vantage as they could; their number, indeed, amounting, with my household, to two hundred persons. In the center of the open space a small forge fire had been kindled, the red glow of which added much to the strangeness of the scene; and on the anvil beside it were ranged a number of horses' and donkeys' shoes, with a full complement of the tools used by smiths. All being ready I gave the word to bring in the prisoners, and escorted by La Trape and six of my guards, they were marched into the arena. In their pale and terrified faces, and the shaking limbs which could scarce support them to their appointed stations, I read both the consciousness of guilt and the apprehension of immediate death; it was plain that they expected nothing less. I was very willing to play with their fears, and for some time looked at them in silence, while all wondered with lively curiosity what would ensue. I then addressed them gravely, telling the innkeeper that I knew well he had loosened each year a shoe of my horse, in order that his brother might profit by the job of replacing it; and went on to reprove the smith for the ingratitude which had led him to return my bounty by the conception of so knavish a trick.
Then I informed the duchess and everyone there, since a bunch of my neighbors had come to celebrate my return, that there was some rare entertainment planned; and we moved on, with Maignan leading the way, followed by four pages carrying torches, to the end of the terrace by the linden avenue. There, a group of grooms holding torches had formed a circle, creating an impromptu theater that Maignan had arranged beautifully, making it as bright as day. At one end, seats were set up on a sloping bank for those who had dined at my table, while the rest of the guests found whatever spots they could; altogether, including my household, there were about two hundred people. In the center of the open space, a small forge fire was lit, its red glow adding to the strangeness of the scene, and on the anvil beside it were several horseshoes and donkey shoes, along with all the tools a smith would need. Once everything was ready, I signaled to bring in the prisoners, who were escorted by La Trape and six of my guards into the arena. In their pale, terrified faces and their trembling limbs, which could hardly carry them to their assigned positions, I saw both their awareness of guilt and their fear of imminent death; it was clear they expected nothing less. I was more than willing to toy with their fears, and for a while, I stared at them in silence, while everyone wondered with great curiosity what would happen next. I then spoke to them seriously, telling the innkeeper that I knew very well he had loosened a shoe from my horse each year so that his brother could benefit from replacing it; and I went on to scold the smith for the ingratitude that had led him to repay my kindness with such a deceitful trick.
Upon this they confessed their guilt, and flinging themselves upon their knees with many tears and prayers begged for mercy. This, after a decent interval, I permitted myself to grant. "Your lives, which are forfeited, shall be spared," I pronounced. "But punished you must be. I therefore ordain that Simon, the smith, at once fit, nail, and properly secure a pair of iron shoes to Andrew's heels, and that then Andrew, who by that time will have picked up something of the smith's art, do the same to Simon. So will you both learn to avoid such shoeing tricks for the future."
Upon this, they admitted their guilt and fell to their knees, crying and praying for mercy. After a moment, I decided to grant it. "Your lives, which you have jeopardized, will be spared," I said. "But you must be punished. I command that Simon, the blacksmith, immediately fit, nail, and properly secure a pair of iron shoes to Andrew's heels, and that then Andrew, who by then will have learned some of the blacksmith’s craft, do the same for Simon. This way, you will both learn to avoid such mistakes in the future."
It may well be imagined that a judgment so whimsical, and so justly adapted to the offense, charmed all save the culprits; and in a hundred ways the pleasure of those present was evinced, to such a degree, indeed, that Maignan had some difficulty in restoring silence and gravity to the assemblage. This done, however, Master Andrew was taken in hand and his wooden shoes removed. The tools of his trade were placed before the smith, who cast glances so piteous, first at his brother's feet and then at the shoes on the anvil, as again gave rise to a prodigious amount of merriment, my pages in particular well-nigh forgetting my presence, and rolling about in a manner unpardonable at another time. However, I rebuked them sharply, and was about to order the sentence to be carried into effect, when the remembrance of the many pleasant simplicities which the smith had uttered to me, acting upon a natural disposition to mercy, which the most calumnious of my enemies have never questioned, induced me to give the prisoners a chance of escape. "Listen," I said, "Simon and Andrew. Your sentence has been pronounced, and will certainly be executed unless you can avail yourself of the condition I now offer. You shall have three minutes; if in that time either of you can make a good joke, he shall go free. If not, let a man attend to the bellows, La Trape!"
It’s easy to imagine that a decision so playful and perfectly suited to the crime delighted everyone except the offenders; and in countless ways, the enjoyment of those present showed, to the point that Maignan had some trouble quieting and bringing seriousness back to the gathering. Once he managed that, Master Andrew was taken in hand and his wooden shoes removed. The tools of his trade were placed in front of the blacksmith, who shot such sorrowful glances at his brother's feet and then at the shoes on the anvil, that it sparked another round of laughter, with my pages nearly forgetting my presence and rolling around in a way that would have been unacceptable at another time. Still, I scolded them firmly and was about to order the sentence to be carried out when remembering the many simple and amusing things the blacksmith had said to me, combined with my natural tendency toward mercy—something even my harshest critics have never doubted—led me to give the prisoners a chance to escape. "Listen," I said, "Simon and Andrew. Your sentence has been delivered, and it will definitely be carried out unless you can take advantage of the opportunity I’m now offering. You have three minutes; if either of you can make a good joke in that time, he will go free. If not, let someone attend to the bellows, La Trape!"
This added a fresh satisfaction to my neighbors, who were well assured now that I had not promised them a novel entertainment without good grounds; for the grimaces of the two knaves thus bidden to jest if they would save their skins, were so diverting they would have made a nun laugh. They looked at me with their eyes as wide as plates, and for the whole of the time of grace never a word could they utter save howls for mercy. "Simon," I said gravely, when the time was up, "have you a joke? No. Andrew, my friend, have you a joke? No. Then—"
This brought a new level of satisfaction to my neighbors, who were now certain that I hadn’t promised them a fun entertainment without good reason; the antics of the two jerks I had ordered to joke for their lives were so entertaining that they could make anyone laugh. They stared at me with their eyes wide open, and during the whole grace period, they couldn’t say a word except to beg for mercy. "Simon," I said seriously when the time was up, "do you have a joke? No. Andrew, my friend, do you have a joke? No. Then—"
I was going on to order the sentence to be carried out, when the innkeeper flung himself again upon his knees, and cried out loudly—as much to my astonishment as to the regret of the bystanders, who were bent on seeing so strange a shoeing feat—"One word, my lord; I can give you no joke, but I can do a service, an eminent service to the king. I can disclose a conspiracy!"
I was about to order the sentence to be carried out when the innkeeper threw himself back on his knees and exclaimed loudly—much to my surprise and the disappointment of the bystanders, who were eager to witness such a strange event—"One word, my lord; I can't make a joke, but I can offer a significant service to the king. I can reveal a conspiracy!"
I was somewhat taken aback by this sudden and public announcement. But I had been too long in the king's employment not to have remarked how strangely things are brought to light. On hearing the man's words therefore—which were followed by a stricken silence—I looked sharply at the faces of such of those present as it was possible to suspect, but failed to observe any sign of confusion or dismay, or anything more particular than so abrupt a statement was calculated to produce. Doubting much whether the man was not playing with me, I addressed him sternly, warning him to beware, lest in his anxiety to save his heels by falsely accusing others, he should lose his head. For that if his conspiracy should prove to be an invention of his own, I should certainly consider it my duty to hang him forthwith.
I was a bit shocked by this sudden public announcement. But I had been working for the king long enough to notice how strangely things come to light. So when I heard the man's words—followed by a shocked silence—I quickly scanned the faces of those present who I could suspect, but I didn't see any signs of confusion or fear, or anything more than what such an abrupt statement would naturally cause. Doubting if the man was just trying to mess with me, I confronted him sternly, warning him to be careful, because in his rush to save himself by falsely accusing others, he could end up losing his head. If it turned out that his conspiracy was just his own invention, I would definitely feel it was my duty to have him hanged right away.
He heard me out, but nevertheless persisted in his story, adding desperately, "It is a plot, my lord, to assassinate you and the king on the same day."
He listened to me, but still kept going with his story, saying anxiously, "It's a plot, my lord, to assassinate you and the king on the same day."
This statement struck me a blow; for I had good reason to know that at that time the king had alienated many by his infatuation for Madame de Verneuil; while I had always to reckon firstly with all who hated him, and secondly with all whom my pursuit of his interests injured, either in reality or appearance. I therefore immediately directed that the prisoners should be led in close custody to the chamber adjoining my private closet, and taking the precaution to call my guards about me, since I knew not what attempt despair might not breed, I withdrew myself, making such apologies to the company as the nature of the case permitted.
This statement hit me hard; I knew very well that at that time the king had upset many with his obsession for Madame de Verneuil. I always had to deal first with everyone who hated him and second with those whom my pursuit of his interests harmed, either for real or in appearance. I immediately ordered that the prisoners be taken under tight security to the room next to my private closet, and taking the precaution to gather my guards around me, since I didn’t know what desperate actions might arise, I removed myself, offering the company whatever apologies were appropriate given the situation.
I ordered Simon the smith to be first brought to me, and in the presence of Maignan only, I severely examined him as to his knowledge of any conspiracy. He denied, however, that he had ever heard of the matters referred to by his brother, and persisted so firmly in the denial that I was inclined to believe him. In the end he was taken out and Andrew was brought in. The innkeeper's demeanor was such as I have often observed in intriguers brought suddenly to book. He averred the existence of the conspiracy, and that its objects were those which he had stated. He also offered to give up his associates, but conditioned that he should do this in his own way; undertaking to conduct me and one other person—but no more, lest the alarm should be given—to a place in Paris on the following night, where we could hear the plotters state their plans and designs. In this way only, he urged, could proof positive be obtained.
I had Simon the blacksmith brought to me first, and only in front of Maignan did I conduct a serious interrogation about any conspiracy he might know about. He insisted he had never heard of the matters his brother mentioned and held firmly to his denial to the point where I started to believe him. Eventually, he was taken out, and Andrew was brought in. The innkeeper acted like many conspirators I've seen suddenly confronted. He claimed there was a conspiracy, and that its aims were as he had described. He also offered to name his accomplices but said he would only do it his way; he promised to take me and one other person—no more, to avoid raising any alarms—to a location in Paris the next night, where we could hear the plotters lay out their plans. He insisted that this was the only way to get solid proof.
I was much startled by this proposal, and inclined to think it a trap; but further consideration dispelled my fears. The innkeeper had held no parley with anyone save his guards and myself since his arrest, and could neither have warned his accomplices, nor acquainted them with any design the execution of which should depend on his confession to me. I therefore accepted his terms—with a private reservation that I should have help at hand—and before daybreak next morning left Rosny, which I had only seen by torchlight, with my prisoner and a select body of Swiss. We entered Paris in the afternoon in three parties, with as little parade as possible, and went straight to the Arsenal, whence, as soon as evening fell, I hurried with only two armed attendants to the Louvre.
I was really surprised by this proposal and thought it might be a trap; however, after thinking it over, my fears disappeared. The innkeeper hadn’t spoken to anyone except his guards and me since his arrest, so he couldn’t have warned his accomplices or informed them about any plan that depended on his confession to me. So, I agreed to his terms—with the private assurance that I would have help nearby—and before dawn the next morning, I left Rosny, which I had only seen with a torch, with my prisoner and a select group of Swiss. We entered Paris in the afternoon in three groups, trying to raise as little attention as possible, and headed straight to the Arsenal. As soon as evening came, I rushed to the Louvre with just two armed attendants.
A return so sudden and unexpected was as great a surprise to the court as to the king, and I was not slow to mark with an inward smile the discomposure which appeared very clearly on the faces of several, as the crowd in the chamber fell back for me to approach my master. I was careful, however, to remember that this might arise from other causes than guilt. The king received me with his wonted affection; and divining at once that I must have something important to communicate, withdrew with me to the farther end of the chamber, where we were out of earshot of the court. I there related the story to his majesty, keeping back nothing.
A return so sudden and unexpected surprised the court as much as it did the king, and I couldn't help but notice the discomfort on several faces as the crowd in the room stepped aside for me to approach my master. I was careful to remember that this could come from reasons other than guilt. The king welcomed me with his usual warmth, quickly realizing that I must have something important to share, and he took me to the far end of the room where we were out of earshot of the court. There, I told his majesty the whole story, leaving nothing out.
He shook his head, saying merely: "The fish to escape the frying pan, grand master, will jump into the fire. And human nature, save in the case of you and me, who can trust one another, is very fishy."
He shook his head and just said, "The fish that escapes the frying pan, grand master, will jump into the fire. And human nature, except for you and me, who can trust each other, is pretty questionable."
I was touched by this gracious compliment, but not convinced. "You have not seen the man, sire," I said, "and I have had that advantage."
I was flattered by the kind compliment, but not convinced. "You haven't seen the man, sir," I said, "and I've had that chance."
"And believe him?"
"And trust him?"
"In part," I answered with caution. "So far at least as to be assured that he thinks to save his skin, which he will only do if he be telling the truth. May I beg you, sire," I added hastily, seeing the direction of his glance, "not to look so fixedly at the Duke of Epernon? He grows uneasy."
"In part," I replied cautiously. "At least enough to be sure he’s trying to save himself, which he’ll only manage if he’s being truthful. May I ask you, sire," I added quickly, noticing where he was looking, "not to stare so intently at the Duke of Epernon? He’s getting anxious."
"Conscience makes—you know the rest."
"Conscience knows—you know the rest."
"Nay, sire, with submission," I replied, "I will answer for him; if he be not driven by fear to do something reckless."
"Nah, sir, with all due respect," I said, "I'll take responsibility for him; as long as he's not acting out of fear and doing something crazy."
"Good! I take your warranty, Duke of Sully," the king said, with the easy grace which came so natural to him. "But now in this matter what would you have me do?"
"Sounds good! I accept your guarantee, Duke of Sully," the king said, with the effortless charm that came so naturally to him. "But now, in this situation, what do you want me to do?"
"Double your guards, sire, for to-night—that is all. I will answer for the Bastile and the Arsenal; and holding these we hold Paris."
"Increase your guards, sire, for tonight—that's all. I will take responsibility for the Bastille and the Arsenal; by controlling these, we control Paris."
But thereupon I found that the king had come to a decision, which I felt it to be my duty to combat with all my influence. He had conceived the idea of being the one to accompany me to the rendezvous. "I am tired of the dice," he complained, "and sick of tennis, at which I know everybody's strength. Madame de Verneuil is at Fontainebleau, the queen is unwell. Ah, Sully, I would the old days were back when we had Nerac for our Paris, and knew the saddle better than the armchair!"
But then I realized the king had made a decision that I felt I had to oppose with all my influence. He wanted to be the one to join me at the meeting. "I'm tired of gambling," he complained, "and fed up with tennis, where I know everyone's abilities. Madame de Verneuil is at Fontainebleau, and the queen isn't well. Ah, Sully, I wish the old days would come back when we had Nerac as our Paris, and we preferred riding to sitting in chairs!"
"A king must think of his people," I reminded him.
"A king has to think about his people," I reminded him.
"The fowl in the pot? To be sure. So I will—to-morrow," he replied. And in the end he would be obeyed. I took my leave of him as if for the night, and retired, leaving him at play with the Duke of Epernon. But an hour later, toward eight o'clock, his majesty, who had made an excuse to withdraw to his closet, met me outside the eastern gate of the Louvre.
"The chicken in the pot? Absolutely. I will—tomorrow," he replied. Ultimately, he would get his way. I said goodbye to him as if it were for the night and withdrew, leaving him enjoying himself with the Duke of Epernon. But an hour later, around eight o'clock, the king, who had found a reason to step away to his private room, met me outside the eastern gate of the Louvre.
He was masked, and attended only by Coquet, his master of the household. I too wore a mask and was esquired by Maignan, under whose orders were four Swiss—whom I had chosen because they were unable to speak French—guarding the prisoner Andrew. I bade Maignan follow the innkeeper's directions, and we proceeded in two parties through the streets on the left bank of the river, past the Châtelet and Bastile, until we reached an obscure street near the water, so narrow that the decrepit wooden houses shut out well-nigh all view of the sky. Here the prisoner halted and called upon me to fulfill the terms of my agreement. I bade Maignan therefore to keep with the Swiss at a distance of fifty paces, but to come up should I whistle or otherwise give the alarm; and myself with the king and Andrew proceeded onward in the deep shadow of the houses. I kept my hand on my pistol, which I had previously shown to the prisoner, intimating that on the first sign of treachery I should blow out his brains. However, despite precaution, I felt uncomfortable to the last degree. I blamed myself severely for allowing the king to expose himself and the country to this unnecessary danger; while the meanness of the locality, the fetid air, the darkness of the night, which was wet and tempestuous, and the uncertainty of the event lowered my spirits, and made every splash in the kennel and stumble on the reeking, slippery pavements—matters over which the king grew merry—seem no light troubles to me.
He was wearing a mask and was accompanied only by Coquet, his household manager. I also wore a mask and was accompanied by Maignan, who was in charge of four Swiss guards I had chosen because they couldn't speak French, watching over the prisoner Andrew. I instructed Maignan to follow the innkeeper's directions, and we moved in two groups through the streets on the left bank of the river, passing the Châtelet and Bastille, until we arrived at a hidden street near the water, so narrow that the rundown wooden houses blocked almost all view of the sky. Here, the prisoner stopped and asked me to fulfill the terms of my agreement. I instructed Maignan to keep a distance of fifty paces with the Swiss, but to come running if I whistled or gave any other signal; then the king, Andrew, and I continued on in the deep shadows of the houses. I kept my hand on my pistol, which I had shown to the prisoner earlier, indicating that at the first sign of treachery, I would shoot him. However, despite my precautions, I felt extremely uneasy. I harshly blamed myself for letting the king expose himself and the country to this unnecessary risk; while the unpleasantness of the area, the foul air, the dark, rainy, stormy night, and the uncertainty of what would happen next discouraged me, making every splash in the gutter and stumble on the filthy, slippery pavement—things that amused the king—seem like significant issues to me.
Arriving at a house, which, if we might judge in the darkness, seemed to be of rather greater pretensions than its fellows, our guide stopped, and whispered to us to mount some steps to a raised wooden gallery, which intervened between the lane and the doorway. On this, besides the door, a couple of unglazed windows looked out. The shutter of one was ajar, and showed us a large, bare room, lighted by a couple of rushlights. Directing us to place ourselves close to this shutter, the innkeeper knocked at the door in a peculiar fashion, and almost immediately entered, going at once into the lighted room. Peering cautiously through the window we were surprised to find that the only person within, save the newcomer, was a young woman, who, crouching over a smoldering fire, was crooning a lullaby while she attended to a large black pot.
Arriving at a house that, judging by the darkness, seemed to stand out more than the others, our guide stopped and whispered for us to climb some steps to a raised wooden gallery that connected the street to the doorway. On this gallery, there was the door and a couple of unglazed windows. One of the shutters was slightly open, revealing a large, empty room lit by a couple of rushlights. Our innkeeper told us to position ourselves near this shutter, then knocked on the door in a unique way and almost instantly entered, going straight into the lit room. Peering carefully through the window, we were surprised to see that the only other person inside, besides the newcomer, was a young woman who was crouched over a smoldering fire, softly singing a lullaby while tending to a large black pot.
"Good evening, mistress!" said the innkeeper, advancing to the fire with a fair show of nonchalance.
"Good evening, ma'am!" said the innkeeper, moving toward the fire with a casual air.
"Good evening, Master Andrew," the girl replied, looking up and nodding, but showing no sign of surprise at his appearance. "Martin is away, but he may return at any moment."
"Good evening, Master Andrew," the girl said, looking up and nodding, but showing no sign of surprise at his arrival. "Martin is away, but he could be back any minute."
"Is he still of the same mind?"
"Is he still thinking the same way?"
"Quite."
"Totally."
"And what of Sully? Is he to die then?" he asked.
"And what about Sully? Is he going to die?" he asked.
"They have decided he must," the girl answered gloomily. It may be believed that I listened with all my ears, while the king by a nudge in my side seemed to rally me on the destiny so coolly arranged for me. "Martin says it is no good killing the other unless he goes too—they have been so long together. But it vexes me sadly, Master Andrew," she added with a sudden break in her voice. "Sadly it vexes me. I could not sleep last night for thinking of it, and the risk Martin runs. And I shall sleep less when it is done."
"They decided he has to," the girl replied gloomily. I was all ears, while the king nudged me in the side as if to tease me about the destiny that was so casually set for me. "Martin says there's no point in killing the other one unless he goes too—they've been together for so long. But it frustrates me a lot, Master Andrew," she added, her voice suddenly breaking. "It really frustrates me. I couldn't sleep last night thinking about it, and about the risk Martin is taking. And I'll sleep even less once it’s done."
"Pooh-pooh!" said that rascally innkeeper. "Think less about it. Things will grow worse and worse if they are let live. The King has done harm enough already. And he grows old besides."
"Pooh-pooh!" said that sly innkeeper. "Don't worry about it too much. Things will just get worse if we let them be. The King has already caused enough trouble. Plus, he's getting old."
"That is true!" said the girl. "And no doubt the sooner he is put out of the way the better. He is changed sadly. I do not say a word for him. Let him die. It is killing Sully that troubles me—that and the risk Martin runs."
"That’s true!" the girl said. "And no doubt the sooner he's dealt with, the better. He's changed a lot. I'm not defending him. Let him die. What worries me is that it’s Sully that’s suffering—that and the risk Martin is facing."
At this I took the liberty of gently touching the king. He answered by an amused grimace; then by a motion of his hand he enjoined silence. We stooped still farther forward so as better to command the room. The girl was rocking herself to and fro in evident distress of mind. "If we killed the King," she continued, "Martin declares we should be no better off, as long as Sully lives. Both or neither, he says. But I do not know. I cannot bear to think of it. It was a sad day when we brought Epernon here, Master Andrew; and one I fear we shall rue as long as we live."
At this, I took the chance to lightly touch the king. He responded with an amused grimace, then he motioned for silence. We leaned in closer to get a better view of the room. The girl was rocking back and forth, clearly in distress. "If we killed the King," she said, "Martin insists we wouldn't be any better off as long as Sully is alive. It's both or none, he says. But I don't know. I can't stand to think about it. It was a sad day when we brought Epernon here, Master Andrew; and one I’m afraid we will regret for the rest of our lives."
It was now the king's turn to be moved. He grasped my wrist so forcibly that I restrained a cry with difficulty. "Epernon!" he whispered harshly in my ear. "They are Epernon's tools! Where is your guaranty now, Rosny?"
It was now the king's turn to be affected. He grabbed my wrist so tightly that I barely held back a cry. "Epernon!" he whispered sharply in my ear. "They are Epernon's pawns! Where is your guarantee now, Rosny?"
I confess that I trembled. I knew well that the king, particular in small courtesies, never forgot to call his servants by their correct titles, save in two cases; when he indicated by the seeming error, as once in Marshal Biron's affair, his intention to promote or degrade them; or when he was moved to the depths of his nature and fell into an old habit. I did not dare to reply, but listened greedily for more information.
I admit that I was nervous. I knew that the king, attentive to small details, always remembered to address his servants by their proper titles, except in two situations: when he made a deliberate mistake, like in Marshal Biron's case, to signal his intention to promote or demote them; or when he was deeply moved and slipped back into an old habit. I didn't dare to respond, but I listened intently for more information.
"When is it to be done?" asked the innkeeper, sinking his voice and glancing round, as if he would call especial attention to this.
"When is it going to be done?" asked the innkeeper, lowering his voice and looking around, as if he wanted to draw special attention to this.
"That depends upon Master la Rivière," the girl answered. "To-morrow night, I understand, if Master la Rivière can have the stuff ready."
"That depends on Master la Rivière," the girl replied. "Tomorrow night, I hear, if Master la Rivière can get everything ready."
I met the king's eyes. They shone fiercely in the faint light, which issuing from the window fell on him. Of all things he hated treachery most, and La Rivière was his first body physician, and at this very time, as I well knew, was treating him for a slight derangement which the king had brought upon himself by his imprudence. This doctor had formerly been in the employment of the Bouillon family, who had surrendered his services to the king. Neither I nor his majesty had trusted the Duke of Bouillon for the last year past, so that we were not surprised by this hint that he was privy to the design.
I met the king's gaze. His eyes shone fiercely in the dim light coming through the window. Of all things, he hated betrayal the most, and La Rivière was his primary physician. At that moment, as I knew well, he was treating the king for a minor issue that the king had caused himself through his own recklessness. This doctor had previously worked for the Bouillon family, who had offered his services to the king. Neither I nor the king had trusted the Duke of Bouillon for the past year, so we weren't surprised by this suggestion that he was involved in the scheme.
Despite our anxiety not to miss a word, an approaching step warned us at this moment to draw back. More than once before we had done so to escape the notice of a wayfarer passing up and down. But this time I had a difficulty in inducing the king to adopt the precaution. Yet it was well that I succeeded, for the person who came stumbling along toward us did not pass, but, mounting the steps, walked by within touch of us and entered the house.
Despite our nerves about missing a word, a sound from approaching footsteps urged us to step back. We had done this more than once before to avoid being seen by a passerby. But this time, I struggled to convince the king to take that precaution. Fortunately, I managed to persuade him, because the person who was coming toward us didn't just walk by. Instead, they climbed the steps, walked right by us, and entered the house.
"The plot thickens," muttered the king. "Who is this?"
"The plot thickens," muttered the king. "Who is this?"
At the moment he asked I was racking my brain to remember. I have a good eye and a fair recollection for faces, and this was one I had seen several times. The features were so familiar that I suspected the man of being a courtier in disguise, and I ran over the names of several persons whom I knew to be Bouillon's secret agents. But he was none of these, and obeying the king's gesture, I bent myself again to the task of listening.
At the moment he asked, I was trying hard to remember. I have a good eye and a decent memory for faces, and this was one I had seen several times. The features were so familiar that I suspected the man was a courtier in disguise, and I thought of several people I knew to be Bouillon's secret agents. But he was none of them, and following the king's gesture, I focused again on listening.
The girl looked up on the man's entrance, but did not rise. "You are late, Martin," she said.
The girl looked up when the man walked in, but didn’t stand up. "You’re late, Martin," she said.
"A little," the newcomer answered. "How do you do, Master Andrew? What cheer? What, still vexing, mistress?" he added contemptuously to the girl. "You have too soft a heart for this business!"
"A little," the newcomer replied. "How are you, Master Andrew? What's up? Still bothering the lady?" he added disrespectfully to the girl. "You’re too kind for this line of work!"
She sighed, but made no answer.
She sighed but didn't respond.
"You have made up your mind to it, I hear?" said the innkeeper.
"You’ve made up your mind about it, I hear?" said the innkeeper.
"That is it. Needs must when the devil drives!" replied the man jauntily. He had a downcast, reckless, luckless air, yet in his face I thought I still saw traces of a better spirit.
"That's it. You have to do what you have to do!" replied the man cheerfully. He had a defeated, careless, unfortunate vibe, yet in his face I thought I still saw hints of a better spirit.
"The devil in this case was Epernon," quoth Andrew.
"The devil in this case was Epernon," said Andrew.
"Aye, curse him! I would I had cut his dainty throat before he crossed my threshold," cried the desperado. "But there, it is too late to say that now. What has to be done, has to be done."
"Aye, curse him! I wish I had slit his pretty throat before he stepped into my home," shouted the desperado. "But there, it's too late to say that now. What needs to be done, has to be done."
"How are you going about it? Poison, the mistress says."
"How are you handling it? Poison, the mistress says."
"Yes; but if I had my way," the man growled fiercely, "I would out one of these nights and cut the dogs' throats in the kennel!"
"Yeah; but if I got to choose," the man growled fiercely, "I'd go out one of these nights and slit the dogs' throats in the kennel!"
"You could never escape, Martin!" the girl cried, rising in excitement. "It would be hopeless. It would merely be throwing away your own life."
"You can never get away, Martin!" the girl exclaimed, standing up with excitement. "It would be pointless. It would just be wasting your own life."
"Well, it is not to be done that way, so there is an end of it," quoth the man wearily. "Give me my supper. The devil take the king and Sully too! He will soon have them."
"Well, it shouldn't be done that way, so that's that," the man said tiredly. "Give me my dinner. To hell with the king and Sully too! He'll have them soon enough."
On this Master Andrew rose, and I took his movement toward the door for a signal for us to retire. He came out at once, shutting the door behind him as he bade the pair within a loud good night. He found us standing in the street waiting for him and forthwith fell on his knees in the mud and looked up at me, the perspiration standing thick on his white face. "My lord," he cried hoarsely, "I have earned my pardon!"
On this, Master Andrew stood up, and I took his movement toward the door as a cue for us to leave. He came out right away, closing the door behind him as he shouted a loud good night to the two inside. He found us waiting for him in the street and immediately dropped to his knees in the mud, looking up at me with sweat dripping down his pale face. "My lord," he said hoarsely, "I’ve earned my pardon!"
"If you go on," I said encouragingly, "as you have begun, have no fear." Without more ado I whistled up the Swiss and bade Maignan go with them and arrest the man and woman with as little disturbance as possible. While this was being done we waited without, keeping a sharp eye upon the informer, whose terror, I noted with suspicion, seemed to be in no degree diminished. He did not, however, try to escape, and Maignan presently came to tell us that he had executed the arrest without difficulty or resistance.
"If you keep going," I said encouragingly, "like you have been, don't worry." Without wasting any time, I called over the Swiss and instructed Maignan to go with them to arrest the man and woman with as little fuss as possible. While this was happening, we waited outside, keeping a close watch on the informer, whose fear, I noted with suspicion, still seemed completely unchanged. He didn't try to run away, and soon Maignan came to inform us that he had made the arrest without any trouble or resistance.
The importance of arriving at the truth before Epernon and the greater conspirators should take the alarm was so vividly present to the minds of the king and myself, that we did not hesitate to examine the prisoners in their house, rather than hazard the delay and observation which their removal to a more fit place must occasion. Accordingly, taking the precaution to post Coquet in the street outside, and to plant a burly Swiss in the doorway, the king and I entered. I removed my mask as I did so, being aware of the necessity of gaining the prisoners' confidence, but I begged the king to retain his. As I had expected, the man immediately recognized me and fell on his knees, a nearer view confirming the notion I had previously entertained that his features were familiar to me, though I could not remember his name. I thought this a good starting-point for my examination, and bidding Maignan withdraw, I assumed an air of mildness and asked the fellow his name.
The importance of getting to the truth before Epernon and the other conspirators could react was so clear to both the king and me that we didn’t hesitate to question the prisoners in their own house, rather than risk the delays and attention that moving them to a different location would cause. So, after making sure to position Coquet outside in the street and having a strong Swiss guard stand at the doorway, the king and I went in. I took off my mask as I entered, knowing it was essential to establish trust with the prisoners, but I asked the king to keep his on. As I expected, the man immediately recognized me and fell to his knees, and a closer look confirmed my earlier impression that his face was familiar, even though I couldn’t recall his name. I thought this was a good starting point for my questioning, so I told Maignan to step back, adopted a calm demeanor, and asked the man his name.
"Martin, only, please your lordship," he answered; adding, "once I sold you two dogs, sir, for the chase, and to your lady a lapdog called Ninette no larger than her hand."
"Martin, just please your lordship," he replied, adding, "once I sold you two dogs for hunting, sir, and to your lady a toy dog named Ninette, no bigger than her hand."
I remembered the knave, then, as a fashionable dog dealer, who had been much about the court in the reign of Henry the Third and later; and I saw at once how convenient a tool he might be made, since he could be seen in converse with people of all ranks without arousing suspicion. The man's face as he spoke expressed so much fear and surprise that I determined to try what I had often found successful in the case of greater criminals, to squeeze him for a confession while still excited by his arrest, and before he should have had time to consider what his chances of support at the hands of his confederates might be. I charged him therefore solemnly to tell the whole truth as he hoped for the king's mercy. He heard me, gazing at me piteously; but his only answer, to my surprise, was that he had nothing to confess.
I remembered the guy as a trendy dog dealer who had spent a lot of time at court during the reign of Henry the Third and beyond. I realized how useful he could be, as he could mingle with people of all social levels without raising any suspicion. The look on his face as he spoke showed so much fear and surprise that I decided to try what had often worked with bigger criminals: to get him to confess while he was still shaken by his arrest and before he had time to think about what support he might get from his associates. I solemnly urged him to tell the whole truth if he wanted the king's mercy. He listened to me, looking at me with pleading eyes, but to my surprise, his only reply was that he had nothing to confess.
"Come, come," I replied sternly, "this will avail you nothing; if you do not speak quickly, rogue, and to the point, we shall find means to compel you. Who counseled you to attempt his majesty's life?"
"Come on," I said sharply, "this won't help you at all; if you don't speak up quickly, you scoundrel, and get to the point, we will find a way to make you. Who advised you to try to take the king's life?"
On this he stared so stupidly at me, and exclaimed with so real an appearance of horror: "How? I attempt the king's life? God forbid!" that I doubted that we had before us a more dangerous rascal than I had thought, and I hastened to bring him to the point.
On this, he stared at me blankly and exclaimed with a genuine look of horror, "What? I would try to kill the king? God forbid!" This made me question whether he was actually a bigger threat than I had assumed, so I quickly moved to confront him about it.
"What, then," I cried, frowning, "of the stuff Master la Rivière is to give you to take the king's life to-morrow night? Oh, we know something, I assure you; bethink you quickly, and find your tongue if you would have an easy death."
"What, then," I shouted, frowning, "about the stuff Master la Rivière is giving you to take the king's life tomorrow night? Oh, we know a bit, I assure you; think fast and speak up if you want an easy death."
I expected to see his self-control break down at this proof of our knowledge of his design, but he only stared at me with the same look of bewilderment. I was about to bid them bring in the informer that I might see the two front to front, when the female prisoner, who had hitherto stood beside her companion in such distress and terror as might be expected in a woman of that class, suddenly stopped her tears and lamentations. It occurred to me that she might make a better witness. I turned to her, but when I would have questioned her she broke into a wild scream of hysterical laughter.
I expected him to lose his cool when he realized we knew about his plan, but he just looked at me with the same confused expression. I was about to ask them to bring in the informant so I could see the two of them face to face, when the female prisoner, who had been standing beside her friend, clearly upset and terrified like you’d expect from someone in her situation, suddenly stopped crying and wailing. I thought she might be a better witness. I turned to her, but just as I was about to ask her a question, she erupted into a fit of hysterical laughter.
From that I remember that I learned nothing, though it greatly annoyed me. But there was one present who did—the king. He laid his hand on my shoulder, gripping it with a force that I read as a command to be silent.
From what I remember, I learned nothing, even though it really frustrated me. But there was one person there who did—the king. He put his hand on my shoulder, gripping it with a force that I interpreted as a command to be quiet.
"Where," he said to the man, "do you keep the King and Sully and Epernon, my friend?"
"Where," he asked the man, "do you keep the King, Sully, and Epernon, my friend?"
"The King and Sully—with the lordship's leave," said the man quickly, with a frightened glance at me—"are in the kennels at the back of the house, but it is not safe to go near them. The King is raving mad, and—and the other dog is sickening. Epernon we had to kill a month back. He brought the disease here, and I have had such losses through him as have nearly ruined me, please your lordship."
"The King and Sully—if it's alright with you," the man said quickly, glancing nervously at me, "are in the kennels at the back of the house, but it's not safe to go near them. The King is going wild, and—the other dog is getting seriously ill. We had to put Epernon down a month ago. He brought the sickness here, and I've suffered so many losses because of him that it's nearly ruined me, my lord."
"Get up—get up, man!" cried the king, and tearing off his mask he stamped up and down the room, so torn by paroxysms of laughter that he choked himself when again and again he attempted to speak.
"Get up—get up, man!" shouted the king, ripping off his mask as he paced back and forth in the room, so overwhelmed with fits of laughter that he choked himself every time he tried to speak.
I too now saw the mistake, but I could not at first see it in the same light. Commanding myself as well as I could, I ordered one of the Swiss to fetch in the innkeeper, but to admit no one else.
I also realized the mistake now, but I couldn’t see it the same way at first. I did my best to stay calm and told one of the Swiss to bring in the innkeeper, but to let no one else in.
The knave fell on his knees as soon as he saw me, his cheeks shaking like a jelly.
The guy dropped to his knees as soon as he saw me, his cheeks shaking like Jell-O.
"Mercy, mercy!" was all he could say.
"Please, please!" was all he could say.
"You have dared to play with me?" I whispered.
"You tried to mess with me?" I whispered.
"You bade me joke," he sobbed, "you bade me."
"You told me to joke," he cried, "you told me."
I was about to say that it would be his last joke in this world—for my anger was fully aroused—when the king intervened.
I was about to say that it would be his last joke in this world—my anger was fully triggered—when the king stepped in.
"Nay," he said, laying his hand softly on my shoulder. "It has been the most glorious jest. I would not have missed it for a kingdom. I command you, Sully, to forgive him."
"Nah," he said, gently placing his hand on my shoulder. "It's been the most amazing joke. I wouldn't have missed it for anything. I insist, Sully, you need to forgive him."
Thereupon his majesty strictly charged the three that they should not on peril of their lives mention the circumstances to anyone. Nor to the best of my belief did they do so, being so shrewdly scared when they recognized the king that I verily think they never afterwards so much as spoke of the affair to one another. My master further gave me on his own part his most gracious promise that he would not disclose the matter even to Madame de Verneuil or the queen, and upon these representations he induced me freely to forgive the innkeeper. So ended this conspiracy, on the diverting details of which I may seem to have dwelt longer than I should; but alas! in twenty-one years of power I investigated many, and this one only can I regard with satisfaction. The rest were so many warnings and predictions of the fate which, despite all my care and fidelity, was in store for the great and good master I served.
Then his majesty firmly instructed the three not to mention anything about the situation to anyone, under penalty of their lives. To the best of my knowledge, they adhered to this, being so frightened when they recognized the king that I truly believe they never even spoke about the incident among themselves afterwards. My master also graciously promised me that he would not reveal the matter to Madame de Verneuil or the queen, and based on these assurances, he convinced me to forgive the innkeeper without hesitation. Thus ended this conspiracy, on the amusing details of which I may seem to have lingered longer than necessary; but unfortunately, in twenty-one years of power, I investigated many such plots, and this is the only one I can look back on with satisfaction. The others served as grim warnings and predictions of the fate that awaited my great and good master, despite all my care and loyalty.
Robert Louis Stevenson
The Pavilion on the Links
I
I was a great solitary when I was young. I made it my pride to keep aloof and suffice for my own entertainment; and I may say that I had neither friends nor acquaintances until I met that friend who became my wife and the mother of my children. With one man only was I on private terms; this was R. Northmour, Esquire, of Graden Easter, in Scotland. We had met at college; and though there was not much liking between us, nor even much intimacy, we were so nearly of a humor that we could associate with ease to both. Misanthropes, we believed ourselves to be; but I have thought since that we were only sulky fellows. It was scarcely a companionship, but a co-existence in unsociability. Northmour's exceptional violence of temper made it no easy affair for him to keep the peace with anyone but me; and as he respected my silent ways, and let me come and go as I pleased, I could tolerate his presence without concern. I think we called each other friends.
I was quite the loner when I was young. I took pride in staying distant and entertaining myself; honestly, I had no friends or acquaintances until I met the person who became my wife and the mother of my children. I was on friendly terms with only one person, R. Northmour, Esquire, of Graden Easter, in Scotland. We met in college, and although we didn't really like each other or have much intimacy, we were similar enough that it was easy to hang out together. We thought of ourselves as misanthropes, but looking back, I believe we were just grumpy guys. It wasn't really a friendship; more like just sharing the same space without socializing. Northmour's terrible temper made it tough for him to get along with anyone but me; since he respected my quiet nature and allowed me to come and go freely, I could handle his company without much trouble. I think we called each other friends.
When Northmour took his degree and I decided to leave the university without one, he invited me on a long visit to Graden Easter; and it was thus that I first became acquainted with the scene of my adventures. The mansion house of Graden stood in a bleak stretch of country some three miles from the shore of the German Ocean. It was as large as a barrack; and as it had been built of a soft stone, liable to consume in the eager air of the seaside, it was damp and draughty within and half ruinous without. It was impossible for two young men to lodge with comfort in such a dwelling. But there stood in the northern part of the estate, in a wilderness of links and blowing sand hills, and between a plantation and the sea, a small pavilion or belvedere, of modern design, which was exactly suited to our wants; and in this hermitage, speaking little, reading much, and rarely associating except at meals, Northmour and I spent four tempestuous winter months. I might have stayed longer; but one March night there sprung up between us a dispute, which rendered my departure necessary. Northmour spoke hotly, I remember, and I suppose I must have made some tart rejoinder. He leaped from his chair and grappled me; I had to fight, without exaggeration, for my life; and it was only with a great effort that I mastered him, for he was near as strong in body as myself, and seemed filled with the devil. The next morning, we met on our usual terms; but I judged it more delicate to withdraw; nor did he attempt to dissuade me.
When Northmour graduated and I chose to leave university without a degree, he invited me to stay at Graden Easter for an extended visit. That's how I first got to know the place where my adventures would unfold. The Graden mansion stood in a desolate area about three miles from the German Ocean. It was as big as a barracks, built from a soft stone that crumbled in the salty air, making it damp and drafty inside and partly in ruins outside. It was impossible for two young men to find comfort in such a place. However, in the northern part of the estate, among the sandy dunes and a grove of trees, there was a small modern pavilion that fit our needs perfectly; in this little retreat, speaking very little, reading a lot, and rarely socializing except at meals, Northmour and I spent four stormy winter months. I could have stayed longer, but one night in March, a disagreement flared up between us that made my departure unavoidable. I remember Northmour speaking angrily, and I must have shot back with some sharp comment. He jumped up from his chair and confronted me; I had to fight, without any exaggeration, for my life; and it took a great effort to overpower him since he was almost as strong as I was and seemed possessed with rage. The next morning, we resumed our usual interactions, but I thought it best to leave; he didn't try to convince me to stay.
It was nine years before I revisited the neighborhood. I traveled at that time with a tilt-cart, a tent, and a cooking stove, tramping all day beside the wagon, and at night, whenever it was possible, gypsying in a cove of the hills, or by the side of a wood. I believe I visited in this manner most of the wild and desolate regions both in England and Scotland; and, as I had neither friends nor relations, I was troubled with no correspondence, and had nothing in the nature of headquarters, unless it was the office of my solicitors, from whom I drew my income twice a year. It was a life in which I delighted; and I fully thought to have grown old upon the march, and at last died in a ditch.
It was nine years before I went back to the neighborhood. At that time, I traveled with a cart, a tent, and a camping stove, walking all day next to the wagon, and at night, whenever I could, camping in a cove of the hills or by the edge of a forest. I believe I explored most of the wild and desolate areas in both England and Scotland this way; and since I had no friends or family, I didn’t have to deal with any correspondence and didn’t have any real base, except the office of my lawyers, from whom I received my income twice a year. I loved that lifestyle; I really thought I would grow old on the road and eventually die in a ditch.
It was my whole business to find desolate corners, where I could camp without the fear of interruption; and hence, being in another part of the same shire, I bethought me suddenly of the Pavilion on the Links. No thoroughfare passed within three miles of it. The nearest town, and that was but a fisher village, was at a distance of six or seven. For ten miles of length, and from a depth varying from three miles to half a mile, this belt of barren country lay along the sea. The beach, which was the natural approach, was full of quicksands. Indeed I may say there is hardly a better place of concealment in the United Kingdom. I determined to pass a week in the Sea-Wood of Graden Easter, and making a long stage, reached it about sundown on a wild September day.
It was my main goal to find remote spots where I could camp without worrying about being disturbed; so, while I was in another part of the same county, I suddenly remembered the Pavilion on the Links. No road passed within three miles of it. The closest town, which was just a fishing village, was six or seven miles away. For ten miles in length, and varying from three miles to half a mile in depth, this stretch of barren land extended along the sea. The beach, which was the natural access point, was filled with quicksands. Honestly, I can say there’s hardly a better hiding place in the UK. I decided to spend a week in the Sea-Wood of Graden Easter, and after a long journey, I arrived there around sunset on a wild September day.
The country, I have said, was mixed sand hill and links; links being a Scottish name for sand which has ceased drifting and become more or less solidly covered with turf. The pavilion stood on an even space: a little behind it, the wood began in a hedge of elders huddled together by the wind; in front, a few tumbled sand hills stood between it and the sea. An outcropping of rock had formed a bastion for the sand, so that there was here a promontory in the coast line between two shallow bays; and just beyond the tides, the rock again cropped out and formed an islet of small dimensions but strikingly designed. The quicksands were of great extent at low water, and had an infamous reputation in the country. Close in shore, between the islet and the promontory, it was said they would swallow a man in four minutes and a half; but there may have been little ground for this precision. The district was alive with rabbits, and haunted by gulls which made a continual piping about the pavilion. On summer days the outlook was bright and even gladsome; but at sundown in September, with a high wind, and a heavy surf rolling in close along the links, the place told of nothing but dead mariners and sea disaster. A ship beating to windward on the horizon, and a huge truncheon of wreck half buried in the sands at my feet, completed the innuendo of the scene.
The area, as I mentioned, was a mix of sandy hills and links; links is a Scottish term for sand that has settled and become mostly covered with grass. The pavilion was on flat ground: just behind it, a thicket of elder trees stood together, buffeted by the wind; in front, a few scattered sand hills lay between it and the ocean. A rock formation created a barrier for the sand, resulting in a promontory along the coastline between two shallow bays; and just past the tides, the rock emerged again as a small but striking islet. At low tide, the quicksand stretched far and had a terrible reputation in the area. It's said that close to shore, between the islet and the promontory, it could pull a person under in four minutes and a half; though this claim may not have been very accurate. The region was full of rabbits and frequented by gulls that constantly made noise around the pavilion. On summer days, the view was bright and even joyful; but at sunset in September, with strong winds and heavy waves crashing close to the links, the place seemed to speak only of lost sailors and shipwrecks. A ship struggling against the wind on the horizon, along with a large piece of wreckage half-buried in the sand at my feet, completed the ominous atmosphere.
The pavilion—it had been built by the last proprietor, Northmour's uncle, a silly and prodigal virtuoso—presented little signs of age. It was two stories in height, Italian in design, surrounded by a patch of garden in which nothing had prospered but a few coarse flowers; and looked, with its shuttered windows, not like a house that had been deserted, but like one that had never been tenanted by man. Northmour was plainly from home; whether, as usual, sulking in the cabin of his yacht, or in one of his fitful and extravagant appearances in the world of society, I had, of course, no means of guessing. The place had an air of solitude that daunted even a solitary like myself; the wind cried in the chimneys with a strange and wailing note; and it was with a sense of escape, as if I were going indoors, that I turned away and, driving my cart before me, entered the skirts of the wood.
The pavilion—it had been built by the last owner, Northmour's uncle, a foolish and extravagant virtuoso—showed very few signs of aging. It was two stories tall, designed in an Italian style, and surrounded by a little garden where only a few tough flowers survived; it looked, with its boarded-up windows, not like a house that had been abandoned, but like one that had never been lived in at all. Northmour was clearly not home; whether he was sulking on his yacht as usual or making one of his rare and extravagant appearances in society, I had no way of knowing. The place had a lonely vibe that even unsettled someone as solitary as I was; the wind moaned in the chimneys with an eerie and mournful sound; and feeling like I was escaping, as if I were heading indoors, I turned away and, pushing my cart ahead of me, stepped into the edge of the woods.
The Sea-Wood of Graden had been planted to shelter the cultivated fields behind, and check the encroachments of the blowing sand. As you advanced into it from coastward, elders were succeeded by other hardy shrubs; but the timber was all stunted and bushy; it led a life of conflict; the trees were accustomed to swing there all night long in fierce winter tempests; and even in early spring, the leaves were already flying, and autumn was beginning, in this exposed plantation. Inland the ground rose into a little hill, which, along with the islet, served as a sailing mark for seamen. When the hill was open of the islet to the north, vessels must bear well to the eastward to clear Graden Ness and the Graden Bullers. In the lower ground, a streamlet ran among the trees, and, being dammed with dead leaves and clay of its own carrying, spread out every here and there, and lay in stagnant pools. One or two ruined cottages were dotted about the wood; and, according to Northmour, these were ecclesiastical foundations, and in their time had sheltered pious hermits.
The Sea-Wood of Graden was planted to protect the cultivated fields behind it and to hold back the drifting sand. As you moved in from the coast, elder trees gave way to other tough shrubs; however, the trees were all stunted and bushy. They lived a life of struggle; the trees were used to swaying all night long in fierce winter storms, and even in early spring, the leaves were already blowing away, hinting that autumn was starting in this exposed area. Inland, the ground rose into a small hill, which, along with the islet, served as a landmark for sailors. When the hill was visible above the islet to the north, ships had to steer well to the east to avoid Graden Ness and the Graden Bullers. In the lower area, a small stream flowed through the trees and, blocked by dead leaves and clay it carried, spread out here and there, forming stagnant pools. One or two abandoned cottages were scattered throughout the wood, and according to Northmour, these were once religious foundations that had sheltered devout hermits.
I found a den, or small hollow, where there was a spring of pure water; and there, clearing away the brambles, I pitched the tent, and made a fire to cook my supper. My horse I picketed farther in the wood where there was a patch of sward. The banks of the den not only concealed the light of my fire, but sheltered me from the wind, which was cold as well as high.
I came across a small hollow where there was a spring of clean water; so, after clearing away the bushes, I set up my tent and started a fire to cook my dinner. I tied my horse up deeper in the woods where there was a grassy area. The walls of the hollow not only hid the light from my fire but also protected me from the cold, strong wind.
The life I was leading made me both hardy and frugal. I never drank but water, and rarely eat anything more costly than oatmeal; and I required so little sleep, that, although I rose with the peep of day, I would often lie long awake in the dark or starry watches of the night. Thus in Graden Sea-Wood, although I fell thankfully asleep by eight in the evening I was awake again before eleven with a full possession of my faculties, and no sense of drowsiness or fatigue. I rose and sat by the fire, watching the trees and clouds tumultuously tossing and fleeing overhead, and hearkening to the wind and the rollers along the shore; till at length, growing weary of inaction, I quitted the den, and strolled toward the borders of the wood. A young moon, buried in mist, gave a faint illumination to my steps; and the light grew brighter as I walked forth into the links. At the same moment, the wind, smelling salt of the open ocean and carrying particles of sand, struck me with its full force, so that I had to bow my head.
The life I was living made me tough and careful with my resources. I only drank water and rarely ate anything more expensive than oatmeal; and I needed so little sleep that, even though I woke up with the sunrise, I would often lie awake for a long time in the dark or under the stars. So, in Graden Sea-Wood, even though I fell sound asleep by eight in the evening, I was awake again before eleven, fully alert and without any feeling of sleepiness or tiredness. I got up and sat by the fire, watching the trees and clouds swirling above me and listening to the wind and the waves along the shore; until finally, getting tired of doing nothing, I left my spot and wandered toward the edge of the woods. A young moon, wrapped in mist, barely lit my path; and the light grew stronger as I stepped out onto the links. At that moment, the wind, carrying the salty smell of the open ocean and bits of sand, hit me with full force, making me lower my head.
When I raised it again to look about me, I was aware of a light in the pavilion. It was not stationary; but passed from one window to another, as though some one were reviewing the different apartments with a lamp or candle. I watched it for some seconds in great surprise. When I had arrived in the afternoon the house had been plainly deserted; now it was as plainly occupied. It was my first idea that a gang of thieves might have broken in and be now ransacking Northmour's cupboards, which were many and not ill supplied. But what should bring thieves at Graden Easter? And, again, all the shutters had been thrown open, and it would have been more in the character of such gentry to close them. I dismissed the notion, and fell back upon another. Northmour himself must have arrived, and was now airing and inspecting the pavilion.
When I lifted it again to look around, I noticed a light in the pavilion. It wasn't still; it moved from one window to another, as if someone was checking out the different rooms with a lamp or candle. I watched it for a few seconds, really surprised. When I arrived in the afternoon, the house had clearly been empty; now it was obviously occupied. My first thought was that maybe a group of thieves had broken in and were rummaging through Northmour's many cupboards, which were well-stocked. But what would bring thieves to Graden Easter? Plus, all the shutters were wide open, and it seemed more typical for thieves to close them. I dismissed that idea and considered another. Northmour himself must have arrived and was now airing out and inspecting the pavilion.
I have said that there was no real affection between this man and me; but, had I loved him like a brother, I was then so much more in love with solitude that I should none the less have shunned his company. As it was, I turned and ran for it; and it was with genuine satisfaction that I found myself safely back beside the fire. I had escaped an acquaintance; I should have one more night in comfort. In the morning, I might either slip away before Northmour was abroad, or pay him as short a visit as I chose.
I mentioned that there wasn't really any affection between this man and me; however, even if I had loved him like a brother, I was so much more in love with solitude that I would have avoided his company anyway. As it turned out, I turned and ran for it; and I felt genuine relief when I found myself back by the fire. I had escaped an encounter; I would have one more night in comfort. In the morning, I could either leave quietly before Northmour was up, or visit him for as little time as I wanted.
But when morning came, I thought the situation so diverting that I forgot my shyness. Northmour was at my mercy; I arranged a good practical jest, though I knew well that my neighbor was not the man to jest with in security; and, chuckling beforehand over its success, took my place among the elders at the edge of the wood, whence I could command the door of the pavilion. The shutters were all once more closed, which I remember thinking odd; and the house, with its white walls and green venetians, looked spruce and habitable in the morning light. Hour after hour passed, and still no sign of Northmour. I knew him for a sluggard in the morning; but, as it drew on toward noon, I lost my patience. To say the truth, I had promised myself to break my fast in the pavilion, and hunger began to prick me sharply. It was a pity to let the opportunity go by without some cause for mirth; but the grosser appetite prevailed, and I relinquished my jest with regret, and sallied from the wood.
But when morning arrived, I found the situation so amusing that I forgot my shyness. Northmour was completely at my mercy; I planned a good practical joke, even though I knew he wasn't the type to take a joke lightly; and, chuckling to myself about how it would go, I took my place among the adults at the edge of the woods, where I could see the door of the pavilion. The shutters were all closed again, which I thought was strange; and the house, with its white walls and green shutters, looked neat and inviting in the morning light. Hour after hour went by, and there was still no sign of Northmour. I knew he liked to sleep in, but as it approached noon, I lost my patience. To be honest, I had promised myself to eat breakfast in the pavilion, and my hunger was starting to get serious. It was a shame to let the chance for some fun slip away, but my appetite took priority, so I reluctantly gave up on my joke and left the woods.
The appearance of the house affected me, as I drew near, with disquietude. It seemed unchanged since last evening; and I had expected it, I scarce knew why, to wear some external signs of habitation. But no: the windows were all closely shuttered, the chimneys breathed no smoke, and the front door itself was closely padlocked. Northmour, therefore, had entered by the back; this was the natural, and indeed, the necessary conclusion; and you may judge of my surprise when, on turning the house, I found the back door similarly secured.
The look of the house unsettled me as I got closer. It seemed exactly the same as it had the night before; I had somehow expected it to show some signs of life. But no: all the windows were tightly shut, there was no smoke coming from the chimneys, and the front door was securely padlocked. So, Northmour must have come in through the back; that was the logical, and really the only, conclusion. You can imagine my surprise when I walked around the house and found the back door just as locked.
My mind at once reverted to the original theory of thieves; and I blamed myself sharply for my last night's inaction. I examined all the windows on the lower story, but none of them had been tampered with; I tried the padlocks, but they were both secure. It thus became a problem how the thieves, if thieves they were, had managed to enter the house. They must have got, I reasoned, upon the roof of the outhouse where Northmour used to keep his photographic battery; and from thence, either by the window of the study or that of my old bedroom, completed their burglarious entry.
My mind quickly went back to the original idea about thieves, and I criticized myself for not doing anything last night. I checked all the windows on the ground floor, but none had been messed with; I tested the padlocks, and both were secure. It raised the question of how the thieves, if that's what they were, had gotten into the house. I figured they must have climbed onto the roof of the outbuilding where Northmour used to store his photography equipment, and from there, either through the study window or my old bedroom window, they finished breaking in.
I followed what I supposed was their example; and, getting on the roof, tried the shutters of each room. Both were secure; but I was not to be beaten; and, with a little force, one of them flew open, grazing, as it did so, the back of my hand. I remember, I put the wound to my mouth, and stood for perhaps half a minute licking it like a dog, and mechanically gazing behind me over the waste links and the sea; and, in that space of time, my eye made note of a large schooner yacht some miles to the northeast. Then I threw up the window and climbed in.
I followed what I thought was their example, and after getting on the roof, I checked the shutters of each room. Both were locked, but I wasn't going to give up. With a bit of force, one of them flew open, scraping the back of my hand in the process. I remember putting the wound to my mouth and standing there for maybe half a minute, licking it like a dog while absentmindedly looking behind me at the barren links and the sea. In that moment, I noticed a large schooner yacht a few miles to the northeast. Then I pushed the window up and climbed inside.
I went over the house, and nothing can express my mystification. There was no sign of disorder, but, on the contrary, the rooms were unusually clean and pleasant. I found fires laid, ready for lighting; three bedrooms prepared with a luxury quite foreign to Northmour's habits, and with water in the ewers and the beds turned down; a table set for three in the dining-room; and an ample supply of cold meats, game, and vegetables on the pantry shelves. There were guests expected, that was plain; but why guests, when Northmour hated society? And, above all, why was the house thus stealthily prepared at dead of night? and why were the shutters closed and the doors padlocked?
I went through the house, and I can't describe how confused I felt. There was no mess at all; in fact, the rooms were unusually tidy and welcoming. I found fires set up, ready to be lit; three bedrooms arranged with a level of comfort totally unlike Northmour's usual style, with water in the jugs and the beds turned down; a table for three set up in the dining room; and plenty of cold meats, game, and vegetables stocked on the pantry shelves. It was clear that guests were expected; but why were guests coming when Northmour disliked socializing? And most importantly, why was the house being secretly prepared in the dead of night? And why were the shutters closed and the doors locked up?
I effaced all traces of my visit, and came forth from the window feeling sobered and concerned.
I erased all evidence of my visit and stepped away from the window feeling serious and worried.
The schooner yacht was still in the same place; and it flashed for a moment through my mind that this might be the "Red Earl" bringing the owner of the pavilion and his guests. But the vessel's head was set the other way.
The schooner yacht was still in the same spot; and for a moment, it crossed my mind that this could be the "Red Earl" bringing the pavilion owner and his guests. But the boat was pointed the other way.
II
I returned to the den to cook myself a meal, of which I stood in great need, as well as to care for my horse, whom I had somewhat neglected in the morning. From time to time I went down to the edge of the wood; but there was no change in the pavilion, and not a human creature was seen all day upon the links. The schooner in the offing was the one touch of life within my range of vision. She, apparently with no set object, stood off and on or lay to, hour after hour; but as the evening deepened, she drew steadily nearer. I became more convinced that she carried Northmour and his friends, and that they would probably come ashore after dark; not only because that was of a piece with the secrecy of the preparations, but because the tide would not have flowed sufficiently before eleven to cover Graden Floe and the other sea quags that fortified the shore against invaders.
I went back to the cabin to make myself a much-needed meal and take care of my horse, which I had neglected a bit that morning. Occasionally, I walked down to the edge of the woods, but there was no change in the pavilion, and I didn't see a single person all day on the links. The schooner out at sea was the only sign of life I could see. It just drifted back and forth or stayed put for hours, but as the evening wore on, it slowly moved closer. I started to feel more certain that it was carrying Northmour and his friends, and that they would probably come ashore after dark; not just because that fit with the secretive nature of their plans, but also because the tide wouldn’t have come in enough before eleven to cover Graden Floe and the other sea swamps that protected the shore from invaders.
All day the wind had been going down, and the sea along with it; but there was a return toward sunset of the heavy weather of the day before. The night set in pitch dark. The wind came off the sea in squalls, like the firing of a battery of cannon; now and then there was a flaw of rain, and the surf rolled heavier with the rising tide. I was down at my observatory among the elders, when a light was run up to the masthead of the schooner, and showed she was closer in than when I had last seen her by the dying daylight. I concluded that this must be a signal to Northmour's associates on shore; and, stepping forth into the links, looked around me for something in response.
All day the wind had been dying down, and the sea along with it; but as sunset approached, the rough weather from the day before returned. The night fell completely dark. The wind came off the sea in bursts, like the sound of cannons firing; occasionally, there was a brief rain, and the surf rolled in heavier with the rising tide. I was down at my lookout among the elders when a light was hoisted to the top of the mast of the schooner, showing she was closer in than when I last saw her in the fading daylight. I figured this must be a signal to Northmour's partners on shore, and stepping out onto the links, I looked around for something in response.
A small footpath ran along the margin of the wood, and formed the most direct communication between the pavilion and the mansion house; and, as I cast my eyes to that side, I saw a spark of light, not a quarter of a mile away, and rapidly approaching. From its uneven course it appeared to be the light of a lantern carried by a person who followed the windings of the path, and was often staggered, and taken aback by the more violent squalls. I concealed myself once more among the elders, and waited eagerly for the newcomer's advance. It proved to be a woman; and, as she passed within half a rod of my ambush, I was able to recognize the features. The deaf and silent old dame, who had nursed Northmour in his childhood, was his associate in this underhand affair.
A narrow footpath ran along the edge of the woods, providing the quickest route between the pavilion and the mansion. As I glanced over that way, I spotted a light not far away, coming closer quickly. It was an unsteady light, probably from a lantern being carried by someone navigating the twists of the path, often swaying and stumbling from the stronger gusts of wind. I hid myself again among the elder bushes and eagerly waited for the newcomer to arrive. It turned out to be a woman, and as she came within a few feet of my hiding spot, I recognized her face. The old, deaf woman who had looked after Northmour in his childhood was involved in this secretive scheme.
I followed her at a little distance, taking advantage of the innumerable heights and hollows, concealed by the darkness, and favored not only by the nurse's deafness, but by the uproar of the wind and surf. She entered the pavilion, and, going at once to the upper story, opened and set a light in one of the windows that looked toward the sea. Immediately afterwards the light at the schooner's masthead was run down and extinguished. Its purpose had been attained, and those on board were sure that they were expected. The old woman resumed her preparations; although the other shutters remained closed, I could see a glimmer going to and fro about the house; and a gush of sparks from one chimney after another soon told me that the fires were being kindled.
I followed her at a slight distance, taking advantage of the countless ups and downs, hidden by the darkness, and helped not just by the nurse's deafness, but by the noise of the wind and waves. She went into the pavilion, and immediately headed upstairs, opening a window and lighting it so it faced the sea. Right after that, the light at the top of the schooner was lowered and turned off. Its purpose had been served, and those on board knew they were expected. The old woman got back to her preparations; even though the other shutters stayed closed, I could make out a faint light moving around the house, and soon a burst of sparks from one chimney after another signaled that the fires were being lit.
Northmour and his guests, I was now persuaded, would come ashore as soon as there was water on the floe. It was a wild night for boat service; and I felt some alarm mingle with my curiosity as I reflected on the danger of the landing. My old acquaintance, it was true, was the most eccentric of men; but the present eccentricity was both disquieting and lugubrious to consider. A variety of feelings thus led me toward the beach, where I lay flat on my face in a hollow within six feet of the track that led to the pavilion. Thence, I should have the satisfaction of recognizing the arrivals, and, if they should prove to be acquaintances, greeting them as soon as they landed.
Northmour and his guests, I was now convinced, would come ashore as soon as there was water on the floe. It was a wild night for boat service, and I felt a mix of worry along with my curiosity as I thought about the risks of the landing. My old friend was certainly the most peculiar of men, but the current situation was both unsettling and gloomy to think about. A range of emotions pushed me toward the beach, where I lay flat on my face in a hollow just six feet from the path that led to the pavilion. From there, I would be able to recognize who was arriving, and if they turned out to be familiar faces, I could greet them as soon as they landed.
Some time before eleven, while the tide was still dangerously low, a boat's lantern appeared close in shore; and, my attention being thus awakened, I could perceive another still far to seaward, violently tossed, and sometimes hidden by the billows. The weather, which was getting dirtier as the night went on, and the perilous situation of the yacht upon a lee shore, had probably driven them to attempt a landing at the earliest possible moment.
Some time before eleven, while the tide was still dangerously low, a boat's lantern appeared close to shore; and, as my attention was drawn to it, I noticed another one still far out at sea, being tossed around violently and sometimes hidden by the waves. The weather, which was getting worse as the night went on, and the risky situation of the yacht near a lee shore, probably pushed them to try landing as soon as they could.
A little afterwards, four yachtsmen carrying a very heavy chest, and guided by a fifth with a lantern, passed close in front of me as I lay, and were admitted to the pavilion by the nurse. They returned to the beach, and passed me a third time with another chest, larger but apparently not so heavy as the first. A third time they made the transit; and on this occasion one of the yachtsmen carried a leather portmanteau, and the others a lady's trunk and carriage bag. My curiosity was sharply excited. If a woman were among the guests of Northmour, it would show a change in his habits, and an apostasy from his pet theories of life, well calculated to fill me with surprise. When he and I dwelt there together, the pavilion had been a temple of misogyny. And now, one of the detested sex was to be installed under its roof. I remembered one or two particulars, a few notes of daintiness and almost of coquetry which had struck me the day before as I surveyed the preparations in the house; their purpose was now clear, and I thought myself dull not to have perceived it from the first.
A little while later, four sailors carrying a really heavy chest, followed by a fifth person with a lantern, walked right in front of me as I lay there and were let into the pavilion by the nurse. They returned to the beach and passed by me again with another chest, which was larger but seemed lighter than the first. They made the trip for a third time; this time one of the sailors carried a leather suitcase, while the others carried a woman's trunk and a handbag. My curiosity was intensely piqued. If there was a woman among Northmour's guests, it would indicate a shift in his habits and a departure from his personal theories about life, which would definitely surprise me. When we lived there together, the pavilion had been a place against women. And now, one of the despised gender was going to be welcomed under its roof. I recalled a couple of details, a few touches of elegance and almost of flirtation that had caught my eye the day before when I looked over the preparations in the house; their purpose was now clear, and I felt foolish not to have realized it right away.
While I was thus reflecting, a second lantern drew near me from the beach. It was carried by a yachtsman whom I had not yet seen, and who was conducting two other persons to the pavilion. These two persons were unquestionably the guests for whom the house was made ready; and, straining eye and ear, I set myself to watch them as they passed. One was an unusually tall man, in a traveling hat slouched over his eyes, and a highland cape closely buttoned and turned up so as to conceal his face. You could make out no more of him than that he was, as I have said, unusually tall, and walked feebly with a heavy stoop. By his side, and either clinging to him or giving him support—I could not make out which—was a young, tall, and slender figure of a woman. She was extremely pale; but in the light of the lantern her face was so marred by strong and changing shadows, that she might equally well have been as ugly as sin or as beautiful as I afterwards found her to be.
While I was thinking about this, a second lantern came closer to me from the beach. It was carried by a yachtsman I hadn't seen before, who was leading two other people to the pavilion. These two were definitely the guests for whom the house was prepared, and I focused intently to watch them as they passed. One was an unusually tall man, wearing a travel hat pulled low over his eyes and a highland cape tightly buttoned up to hide his face. The only thing you could tell about him was that he was very tall and walked slowly with a heavy hunch. Next to him, either clinging to him or supporting him—I couldn't tell which—was a young woman, tall and slender. She was extremely pale; however, in the lantern's light, her face was obscured by harsh and shifting shadows, making her look either incredibly ugly or as beautiful as I later discovered her to be.
When they were just abreast of me, the girl made some remark which was drowned by the noise of the wind.
When they were right next to me, the girl said something that got lost in the noise of the wind.
"Hush!" said her companion; and there was something in the tone with which the word was uttered that thrilled and rather shook my spirits. It seemed to breathe from a bosom laboring under the deadliest terror; I have never heard another syllable so expressive; and I still hear it again when I am feverish at night, and my mind runs upon old times. The man turned toward the girl as he spoke; I had a glimpse of much red beard and a nose which seemed to have been broken in youth; and his light eyes seemed shining in his face with some strong and unpleasant emotion.
"Hush!" said her companion; and there was something in the tone of his voice that sent a chill through me and rattled my nerves. It felt like it came from someone deeply terrified; I’ve never heard another word so full of meaning. I still hear it echo in my mind when I’m restless at night, reflecting on the past. The man turned to the girl as he spoke; I caught a glimpse of a thick red beard and a nose that looked like it had been broken when he was young, and his light eyes seemed to shimmer with a strong and unsettling feeling.
But these two passed on and were admitted in their turn to the pavilion.
But these two moved on and were let into the pavilion in their turn.
One by one, or in groups, the seamen returned to the beach. The wind brought me the sound of a rough voice crying, "Shove off!" Then, after a pause, another lantern drew near. It was Northmour alone.
One by one, or in groups, the sailors came back to the beach. The wind carried the sound of a gruff voice shouting, "Shove off!" Then, after a moment, another lantern approached. It was Northmour by himself.
My wife and I, a man and a woman, have often agreed to wonder how a person could be, at the same time, so handsome and so repulsive as Northmour. He had the appearance of a finished gentleman; his face bore every mark of intelligence and courage; but you had only to look at him, even in his most amiable moment, to see that he had the temper of a slaver captain. I never knew a character that was both explosive and revengeful to the same degree; he combined the vivacity of the south with the sustained and deadly hatreds of the north; and both traits were plainly written on his face, which was a sort of danger signal. In person, he was tall, strong, and active; his hair and complexion very dark; his features handsomely designed, but spoiled by a menacing expression.
My wife and I, a man and a woman, have often found ourselves wondering how someone could be both so attractive and so off-putting as Northmour. He looked like a true gentleman; his face showed all the signs of intelligence and bravery, but just one glance at him, even when he was being friendly, made it clear that he had the temperament of a slave ship captain. I've never encountered anyone with such a volatile and vengeful character in the same measure; he blended the spirited nature of the south with the lasting and deadly grudges of the north, and both aspects were clearly evident on his face, which was like a warning sign. In person, he was tall, strong, and agile; his hair and skin were very dark; his features were handsome but marred by a threatening expression.
At that moment he was somewhat paler than by nature; he wore a heavy frown; and his lips worked, and he looked sharply round him as he walked, like a man besieged with apprehensions. And yet I thought he had a look of triumph underlying all, as though he had already done much, and was near the end of an achievement.
At that moment, he seemed a bit paler than usual; he wore a deep frown, and his lips twitched as he glanced around him while walking, like someone weighed down by worries. Yet, I sensed a triumphant look beneath it all, as if he had already accomplished a lot and was close to finishing something significant.
Partly from a scruple of delicacy—which I dare say came too late—partly from the pleasure of startling an acquaintance, I desired to make my presence known to him without delay.
Partly out of a sense of politeness—which I admit may have come a bit too late—and partly for the thrill of surprising an acquaintance, I wanted to make sure he noticed me right away.
I got suddenly to my feet, and stepped forward.
I suddenly got up and stepped forward.
"Northmour!" said I.
"Northmour!" I said.
I have never had so shocking a surprise in all my days. He leaped on me without a word; something shone in his hand; and he struck for my heart with a dagger. At the same moment I knocked him head over heels. Whether it was my quickness, or his own uncertainty, I know not; but the blade only grazed my shoulder, while the hilt and his fist struck me violently on the mouth.
I have never experienced such a shocking surprise in my life. He jumped at me without saying a word; something sparkled in his hand, and he aimed a dagger at my heart. At the same moment, I knocked him down. I’m not sure if it was my speed or his hesitation, but the blade just grazed my shoulder, while the hilt and his fist hit me hard on the mouth.
I fled, but not far. I had often and often observed the capabilities of the sand hills for protracted ambush or stealthy advances and retreats; and, not ten yards from the scene of the scuffle, plumped down again upon the grass. The lantern had fallen and gone out. But what was my astonishment to see Northmour slip at a bound into the pavilion, and hear him bar the door behind him with a clang of iron!
I ran away, but not very far. I had frequently noticed how well the sand hills worked for hiding or making sneaky moves in and out; and, not ten yards from where the fight happened, I sat down again on the grass. The lantern had fallen and was out. But I was shocked to see Northmour leap into the pavilion and slam the door shut behind him with a loud clang of metal!
He had not pursued me. He had run away. Northmour, whom I knew for the most implacable and daring of men, had run away! I could scarce believe my reason; and yet in this strange business, where all was incredible, there was nothing to make a work about in an incredibility more or less. For why was the pavilion secretly prepared? Why had Northmour landed with his guests at dead of night, in half a gale of wind, and with the floe scarce covered? Why had he sought to kill me? Had he not recognized my voice? I wondered. And, above all, how had he come to have a dagger ready in his hand? A dagger, or even a sharp knife, seemed out of keeping with the age in which we lived; and a gentleman landing from his yacht on the shore of his own estate, even although it was at night and with some mysterious circumstances, does not usually, as a matter of fact, walk thus prepared for deadly onslaught. The more I reflected, the further I felt at sea. I recapitulated the elements of mystery, counting them on my fingers: the pavilion secretly prepared for guests; the guests landed at the risk of their lives and to the imminent peril of the yacht; the guests, or at least one of them, in undisguised and seemingly causeless terror; Northmour with a naked weapon; Northmour stabbing his most intimate acquaintance at a word; last, and not least strange, Northmour fleeing from the man whom he had sought to murder, and barricading himself, like a hunted creature, behind the door of the pavilion. Here were at least six separate causes for extreme surprise; each part and parcel with the others, and forming all together one consistent story. I felt almost ashamed to believe my own senses.
He hadn't chased me. He had run away. Northmour, who I knew to be the most relentless and bold of men, had fled! I could hardly believe it; yet in this bizarre situation, where everything was unbelievable, it didn’t seem to matter if one thing was more incredible than another. Why was the pavilion secretly set up? Why had Northmour brought his guests ashore in the dead of night, during a strong wind, with the ice barely covered? Why had he tried to kill me? Hadn't he recognized my voice? I was puzzled. And above all, how had he managed to have a dagger ready in his hand? A dagger, or even a sharp knife, felt completely out of place in our time; a gentleman arriving from his yacht on his own estate’s shore, even at night and under mysterious circumstances, doesn’t usually come prepared for a deadly attack. The more I thought about it, the more confused I felt. I went over the elements of mystery, counting them on my fingers: the pavilion secretly prepared for guests; the guests arriving at great risk to their lives and the yacht; one of the guests clearly terrified for no apparent reason; Northmour with a drawn weapon; Northmour stabbing his closest associate at a single word; and lastly, and perhaps most bizarre, Northmour running away from the man he had tried to kill, barricading himself like a hunted animal behind the door of the pavilion. There were at least six distinct reasons for extreme surprise, each connected to the others, forming one coherent story. I felt almost embarrassed to trust my own senses.
As I thus stood, transfixed with wonder, I began to grow painfully conscious of the injuries I had received in the scuffle; skulked round among the sand hills; and, by a devious path, regained the shelter of the wood. On the way, the old nurse passed again within several yards of me, still carrying her lantern, on the return journey to the mansion house of Graden. This made a seventh suspicious feature in the case. Northmour and his guests, it appeared, were to cook and do the cleaning for themselves, while the old woman continued to inhabit the big empty barrack among the policies. There must surely be great cause for secrecy, when so many inconveniences were confronted to preserve it.
As I stood there, filled with wonder, I started to feel the pain of the injuries I had gotten in the struggle; I wandered around the sand hills and, taking a winding path, made my way back to the shelter of the woods. On the way, the old nurse passed by me again, just a few yards away, still holding her lantern as she headed back to the Graden mansion. This was the seventh suspicious thing about the situation. It seemed that Northmour and his guests were going to do their own cooking and cleaning while the old woman stayed in the large empty barracks among the fields. There must be a significant reason for all the secrecy if so many inconveniences were being endured to maintain it.
So thinking, I made my way to the den. For greater security, I trod out the embers of the fire, and lighted my lantern to examine the wound upon my shoulder. It was a trifling hurt, although it bled somewhat freely, and I dressed it as well as I could (for its position made it difficult to reach) with some rag and cold water from the spring. While I was thus busied, I mentally declared war against Northmour and his mystery. I am not an angry man by nature, and I believe there was more curiosity than resentment in my heart. But war I certainly declared; and, by way of preparation, I got out my revolver, and, having drawn the charges, cleaned and reloaded it with scrupulous care. Next I became preoccupied about my horse. It might break loose, or fall to neighing, and so betray my camp in the Sea-Wood. I determined to rid myself of its neighborhood; and long before dawn I was leading it over the links in the direction of the fisher village.
So thinking, I made my way to the den. For better safety, I stomped out the embers of the fire and lit my lantern to check the wound on my shoulder. It was a minor injury, although it bled quite a bit, and I treated it as well as I could (since its position made it hard to reach) with some rag and cold water from the spring. While I was busy with that, I mentally declared war against Northmour and his mystery. I’m not an angry person by nature, and I believe there was more curiosity than resentment in my heart. But I definitely declared war; and to prepare for it, I took out my revolver, and after emptying it, cleaned and reloaded it with great care. Next, I started to worry about my horse. It could break free or start neighing, which would give away my camp in the Sea-Wood. I decided to get away from the area; and long before dawn, I was leading it over the links toward the fisher village.
III
For two days I skulked round the pavilion, profiting by the uneven surface of the links. I became an adept in the necessary tactics. These low hillocks and shallow dells, running one into another, became a kind of cloak of darkness for my inthralling, but perhaps dishonorable, pursuit.
For two days, I lurked around the pavilion, taking advantage of the uneven ground. I became skilled in the necessary tactics. These low hills and shallow dips, blending into each other, provided a sort of cover for my captivating, but maybe dishonorable, pursuit.
Yet, in spite of this advantage, I could learn but little of Northmour or his guests.
Yet, despite this advantage, I could learn very little about Northmour or his guests.
Fresh provisions were brought under cover of darkness by the old woman from the mansion house. Northmour, and the young lady, sometimes together, but more often singly, would walk for an hour or two at a time on the beach beside the quicksand. I could not but conclude that this promenade was chosen with an eye to secrecy; for the spot was open only to seaward. But it suited me not less excellently; the highest and most accidented of the sand hills immediately adjoined; and from these, lying flat in a hollow, I could overlook Northmour or the young lady as they walked.
Fresh supplies were quietly brought at night by the old woman from the mansion. Northmour and the young lady would often stroll together, but more frequently alone, for an hour or two at a time on the beach next to the quicksand. I couldn't help but think this walk was chosen for its privacy; the area was only accessible from the sea. However, it suited me perfectly; the tallest and most uneven of the sand dunes were right next to me, and from my position lying flat in a dip, I could watch Northmour or the young lady as they walked.
The tall man seemed to have disappeared. Not only did he never cross the threshold, but he never so much as showed face at a window; or, at least, not so far as I could see; for I dared not creep forward beyond a certain distance in the day, since the upper floors commanded the bottoms of the links; and at night, when I could venture further, the lower windows were barricaded as if to stand a siege. Sometimes I thought the tall man must be confined to bed, for I remembered the feebleness of his gait; and sometimes I thought he must have gone clear away, and that Northmour and the young lady remained alone together in the pavilion. The idea, even then, displeased me.
The tall man seemed to have vanished. Not only did he never come outside, but he never even showed his face at a window; at least, not as far as I could see. I didn’t dare move closer during the day because the upper floors overlooked the bottom of the links; and at night, when I could go further, the lower windows were barricaded as if they were preparing for a siege. Sometimes I thought the tall man must be stuck in bed, since I remembered how weak he looked when he walked; other times, I figured he might have left completely, leaving Northmour and the young lady alone in the pavilion. Even then, the thought bothered me.
Whether or not this pair were man and wife, I had seen abundant reason to doubt the friendliness of their relation. Although I could hear nothing of what they said, and rarely so much as glean a decided expression on the face of either, there was a distance, almost a stiffness, in their bearing which showed them to be either unfamiliar or at enmity. The girl walked faster when she was with Northmour than when she was alone; and I conceived that any inclination between a man and a woman would rather delay than accelerate the step. Moreover, she kept a good yard free of him, and trailed her umbrella, as if it were a barrier, on the side between them. Northmour kept sidling closer; and, as the girl retired from his advance, their course lay at a sort of diagonal across the beach, and would have landed them in the surf had it been long enough continued. But, when this was imminent, the girl would unostentatiously change sides and put Northmour between her and the sea. I watched these maneuvers, for my part, with high enjoyment and approval, and chuckled to myself at every move.
Whether or not this couple were married, I had plenty of reasons to doubt the friendliness of their relationship. Although I couldn't hear what they were saying and rarely caught a clear expression on either of their faces, there was a distance, almost a stiffness, in the way they acted that suggested they were either unfamiliar with each other or at odds. The girl walked faster when she was with Northmour than when she was by herself; I figured any attraction between a man and a woman would usually slow down their pace instead of speed it up. Plus, she kept a good distance from him, trailing her umbrella like it was a protective barrier between them. Northmour kept trying to inch closer, and as the girl moved away from him, they ended up on a diagonal path across the beach that would have taken them into the surf if it had continued for much longer. But just when it seemed like they were about to hit the water, the girl would casually switch sides, putting Northmour between her and the sea. I watched these maneuvers with great enjoyment and approval, chuckling to myself at every little move.
On the morning of the third day, she walked alone for some time, and I perceived, to my great concern, that she was more than once in tears. You will see that my heart was already interested more than I supposed. She had a firm yet airy motion of the body, and carried her head with unimaginable grace; every step was a thing to look at, and she seemed in my eyes to breathe sweetness and distinction.
On the morning of the third day, she walked alone for a while, and I noticed, to my great concern, that she was in tears more than once. You can see that my heart was already more involved than I realized. She moved with a strong yet graceful motion and held her head with an indescribable elegance; every step was captivating, and to me, she seemed to exude sweetness and distinction.
The day was so agreeable, being calm and sunshiny, with a tranquil sea, and yet with a healthful piquancy and vigor in the air, that, contrary to custom, she was tempted forth a second time to walk. On this occasion she was accompanied by Northmour, and they had been but a short while on the beach, when I saw him take forcible possession of her hand. She struggled, and uttered a cry that was almost a scream. I sprung to my feet, unmindful of my strange position; but, ere I had taken a step, I saw Northmour bareheaded and bowing very low, as if to apologize; and dropped again at once into my ambush. A few words were interchanged; and then, with another bow, he left the beach to return to the pavilion. He passed not far from me, and I could see him, flushed and lowering, and cutting savagely with his cane among the grass. It was not without satisfaction that I recognized my own handiwork in a great cut under his right eye, and a considerable discoloration round the socket.
The day was so pleasant—calm and sunny, with a peaceful sea—and yet there was a refreshing energy in the air that, unlike usual, she felt tempted to go for a walk again. This time, she was with Northmour, and they hadn’t been on the beach long when I saw him take hold of her hand forcefully. She struggled and let out a cry that was almost a scream. I jumped to my feet, forgetting my strange position, but before I could take a step, I saw Northmour, bareheaded and bowing low, as if to apologize, and I quickly dropped back into my hiding spot. A few words were exchanged, and then, with another bow, he left the beach to head back to the pavilion. He passed pretty close to me, and I could see him, flushed and scowling, swinging his cane angrily through the grass. I felt a sense of satisfaction as I noticed my own work in a deep cut under his right eye and a noticeable bruise around the socket.
For some time the girl remained where he had left her, looking out past the islet and over the bright sea. Then with a start, as one who throws off preoccupation and puts energy again upon its mettle, she broke into a rapid and decisive walk. She also was much incensed by what had passed. She had forgotten where she was. And I beheld her walk straight into the borders of the quicksand where it is most abrupt and dangerous. Two or three steps farther and her life would have been in serious jeopardy, when I slid down the face of the sand hill, which is there precipitous, and, running halfway forward, called to her to stop.
For a while, the girl stayed where he had left her, gazing out past the small island and over the bright sea. Then, suddenly, as if shaking off distractions and focusing her energy, she began to walk quickly and purposefully. She was also very upset about what had just happened. She had lost track of her surroundings. I watched her walk straight toward the edge of the quicksand where it's most steep and dangerous. Just two or three more steps, and her life would have been seriously at risk, so I slid down the steep sand dune and, running halfway toward her, shouted for her to stop.
She did so, and turned round. There was not a tremor of fear in her behavior, and she marched directly up to me like a queen. I was barefoot, and clad like a common sailor, save for an Egyptian scarf round my waist; and she probably took me at first for some one from the fisher village, straying after bait. As for her, when I thus saw her face to face, her eyes set steadily and imperiously upon mine, I was filled with admiration and astonishment, and thought her even more beautiful than I had looked to find her. Nor could I think enough of one who, acting with so much boldness, yet preserved a maidenly air that was both quaint and engaging; for my wife kept an old-fashioned precision of manner through all her admirable life—an excellent thing in woman, since it sets another value on her sweet familiarities.
She did that and turned around. There wasn’t a hint of fear in her behavior, and she walked straight up to me like a queen. I was barefoot and dressed like a regular sailor, except for an Egyptian scarf around my waist; she probably thought I was someone from the fishing village, wandering around after bait. When I saw her face to face, with her eyes fixed firmly and commandingly on mine, I was filled with admiration and surprise, thinking she was even more beautiful than I had expected. I couldn’t stop thinking about someone who, while being so bold, still maintained a feminine grace that was both charming and unique; my wife always kept a traditional precision in her demeanor throughout her remarkable life—something that adds extra value to her sweet familiarities.
"What does this mean?" she asked.
"What does this mean?" she asked.
"You were walking," I told her, "directly into Graden Floe."
"You were walking," I told her, "straight into Graden Floe."
"You do not belong to these parts," she said again. "You speak like an educated man."
"You don’t belong here," she said again. "You talk like an educated person."
"I believe I have a right to that name," said I, "although in this disguise."
"I believe I have the right to that name," I said, "even in this disguise."
But her woman's eye had already detected the sash.
But her feminine intuition had already noticed the sash.
"Oh!" she said; "your sash betrays you."
"Oh!" she said, "your sash gives you away."
"You have said the word betray," I resumed. "May I ask you not to betray me? I was obliged to disclose myself in your interest; but if Northmour learned my presence it might be worse than disagreeable for me."
"You mentioned the word betray," I continued. "Can I ask you not to betray me? I had to reveal myself for your sake; but if Northmour found out I was here, it could be more than just unpleasant for me."
"Do you know," she asked, "to whom you are speaking?"
"Do you know," she asked, "who you're talking to?"
"Not to Mr. Northmour's wife?" I asked, by way of answer.
"Not to Mr. Northmour's wife?" I asked in response.
She shook her head. All this while she was studying my face with an embarrassing intentness. Then she broke out—
She shook her head. All this time, she was studying my face with an uncomfortable intensity. Then she blurted out—
"You have an honest face. Be honest like your face, sir, and tell me what you want and what you are afraid of. Do you think I could hurt you? I believe you have far more power to injure me! And yet you do not look unkind. What do you mean—you, a gentleman—by skulking like a spy about this desolate place? Tell me," she said, "who is it you hate?"
"You have a sincere face. Be as honest as your face, sir, and tell me what you want and what you're afraid of. Do you think I could hurt you? I believe you have much more ability to harm me! And yet, you don’t seem unkind. What do you mean—you, a gentleman—by sneaking around like a spy in this empty place? Tell me," she said, "who do you hate?"
"I hate no one," I answered; "and I fear no one face to face. My name is Cassilis—Frank Cassilis. I lead the life of a vagabond for my own good pleasure. I am one of Northmour's oldest friends; and three nights ago, when I addressed him on these links, he stabbed me in the shoulder with a knife."
"I don’t hate anyone," I replied, "and I’m not afraid of anyone in person. My name is Cassilis—Frank Cassilis. I live the life of a wanderer for my own enjoyment. I’m one of Northmour’s oldest friends; and three nights ago, when I spoke to him on these grounds, he stabbed me in the shoulder with a knife."
"It was you!" she said.
"You did it!" she said.
"Why he did so," I continued, disregarding the interruption, "is more than I can guess, and more than I care to know. I have not many friends, nor am I very susceptible to friendship; but no man shall drive me from a place by terror. I had camped in the Graden Sea-Wood ere he came; I camp in it still. If you think I mean harm to you or yours, madame, the remedy is in your hand. Tell him that my camp is in the Hemlock Den, and to-night he can stab me in safety while I sleep."
"Why he did that," I continued, ignoring the interruption, "is beyond my understanding, and honestly, I don’t really care to know. I don't have many friends, nor am I easily swayed by friendship; but no one will scare me away from a place. I had set up camp in the Graden Sea-Wood before he arrived, and I’m still camping there. If you think I intend to harm you or your family, madam, you have the power to change that. Just tell him that my camp is in the Hemlock Den, and tonight he can attack me safely while I sleep."
With this I doffed my cap to her, and scrambled up once more among the sand hills. I do not know why, but I felt a prodigious sense of injustice, and felt like a hero and a martyr; while as a matter of fact, I had not a word to say in my defense, nor so much as one plausible reason to offer for my conduct. I had stayed at Graden out of a curiosity natural enough, but undignified; and though there was another motive growing in along with the first, it was not one which, at that period, I could have properly explained to the lady of my heart.
With that, I tipped my hat to her and scrambled back up among the sand dunes. I’m not sure why, but I felt a huge sense of injustice, both heroic and like a martyr; when in reality, I had no words to defend myself, not even one believable reason for my behavior. I had stayed at Graden out of a completely natural, though undignified, curiosity; and although a different motive was developing alongside the first, it was not something I could have explained properly to the woman I loved at that time.
Certainly, that night, I thought of no one else; and, though her whole conduct and position seemed suspicious, I could not find it in my heart to entertain a doubt of her integrity. I could have staked my life that she was clear of blame, and, though all was dark at the present, that the explanation of the mystery would show her part in these events to be both right and needful. It was true, let me cudgel my imagination as I pleased, that I could invent no theory of her relations to Northmour; but I felt none the less sure of my conclusion because it was founded on instinct in place of reason, and, as I may say, went to sleep that night with the thought of her under my pillow.
Certainly, that night, I couldn’t think of anyone else; and, even though her entire behavior and situation seemed questionable, I couldn’t bring myself to doubt her honesty. I would have bet my life that she was innocent, and even though everything felt unclear at the moment, I was sure that once the mystery was explained, it would reveal her involvement in these events as both right and necessary. It was true, no matter how much I racked my brain, I couldn't come up with any explanation for her relationship with Northmour; but I felt just as confident in my conclusion because it was based on intuition rather than logic, and I went to sleep that night with thoughts of her in my mind.
Next day she came out about the same hour alone, and, as soon as the sand hills concealed her from the pavilion, drew nearer to the edge, and called me by name in guarded tones. I was astonished to observe that she was deadly pale, and seemingly under the influence of strong emotion.
Next day, she came out around the same time by herself, and, as soon as the sand hills hid her from the pavilion, moved closer to the edge and called me by name in quiet tones. I was shocked to see that she was extremely pale and appeared to be experiencing strong emotions.
"Mr. Cassilis!" she cried; "Mr. Cassilis!"
"Mr. Cassilis!" she exclaimed; "Mr. Cassilis!"
I appeared at once, and leaped down upon the beach. A remarkable air of relief overspread her countenance as soon as she saw me.
I showed up immediately and jumped down onto the beach. A striking look of relief spread across her face as soon as she saw me.
"Oh!" she cried, with a hoarse sound, like one whose bosom had been lightened of a weight. And then, "Thank God you are still safe!" she added; "I knew, if you were, you would be here." (Was not this strange? So swiftly and wisely does Nature prepare our hearts for these great lifelong intimacies, that both my wife and I had been given a presentiment on this the second day of our acquaintance. I had even then hoped that she would seek me; she had felt sure that she would find me.) "Do not," she went on swiftly, "do not stay in this place. Promise me that you sleep no longer in that wood. You do not know how I suffer; all last night I could not sleep for thinking of your peril."
"Oh!" she exclaimed, her voice hoarse, like someone who has just let go of a heavy burden. Then she added, "Thank God you’re still safe! I knew if you were, you would come here." (Isn't it surprising? Nature prepares our hearts for deep, lifelong connections so quickly and wisely that both my wife and I had a feeling about this on just the second day of knowing each other. I had hoped she would look for me; she was certain she would find me.) "Please," she continued hurriedly, "don't stay in this place. Promise me you won't sleep in that woods anymore. You have no idea how I suffer; all last night I couldn't sleep, worrying about your safety."
"Peril!" I repeated. "Peril from whom? From Northmour?"
"Danger!" I said again. "Danger from whom? From Northmour?"
"Not so," she said. "Did you think I would tell him after what you said?"
"That's not true," she said. "Did you really think I would tell him after what you said?"
"Not from Northmour?" I repeated. "Then how? From whom? I see none to be afraid of."
"Not from Northmour?" I said again. "Then how? From whom? I don't see anyone to be scared of."
"You must not ask me," was her reply, "for I am not free to tell you. Only believe me, and go hence—believe me, and go away quickly, quickly, for your life!"
"You can't ask me," she responded, "because I'm not able to tell you. Just trust me, and leave—trust me, and get away fast, fast, for your life!"
An appeal to his alarm is never a good plan to rid oneself of a spirited young man. My obstinacy was but increased by what she said, and I made it a point of honor to remain. And her solicitude for my safety still more confirmed me in the resolve.
An appeal to his alarm is never a good strategy to get rid of a spirited young man. Her words only made me more stubborn, and I was determined to stay. Her concern for my safety only strengthened my resolve.
"You must not think me inquisitive, madame," I replied, "but, if Graden is so dangerous a place, you yourself perhaps remain here at some risk."
"You shouldn't think I'm being nosy, ma'am," I replied, "but if Graden is such a dangerous place, you might be putting yourself at risk by staying here."
She only looked at me reproachfully.
She just gave me a disappointed look.
"You and your father—" I resumed; but she interrupted me almost with a gasp.
"You and your dad—" I started again, but she cut me off almost in shock.
"My father! How do you know that?" she cried.
"My dad! How do you know that?" she exclaimed.
"I saw you together when you landed," was my answer; and I do not know why, but it seemed satisfactory to both of us, as indeed it was truth. "But," I continued, "you need have no fear from me. I see you have some reason to be secret, and, you may believe me, your secret is as safe with me as if I were in Graden Floe. I have scarce spoken to anyone for years; my horse is my only companion, and even he, poor beast, is not beside me. You see, then, you may count on me for silence. So tell me the truth, my dear young lady, are you not in danger?"
"I saw you together when you landed," I said, and for some reason, it felt right to both of us, as it was indeed the truth. "But," I continued, "you don’t have to worry about me. I can tell you have your reasons for being secretive, and believe me, your secret is safe with me as if I were far away in Graden Floe. I haven’t talked to anyone in years; my horse is my only companion, and even he, poor thing, isn’t with me right now. So, you can count on me to keep quiet. So please, tell me the truth, my dear young lady, are you in danger?"
"Mr. Northmour says you are an honorable man," she returned, "and I believe it when I see you. I will tell you so much; you are right: we are in dreadful, dreadful danger, and you share it by remaining where you are."
"Mr. Northmour says you're an honorable man," she replied, "and I believe it when I see you. I'll tell you this much: you're right, we are in terrible, terrible danger, and you are sharing it by staying here."
"Ah!" said I; "you have heard of me from Northmour? And he gives me a good character?"
"Ah!" I said; "you've heard about me from Northmour? And he says nice things about me?"
"I asked him about you last night," was her reply. "I pretended," she hesitated, "I pretended to have met you long ago, and spoken to you of him. It was not true; but I could not help myself without betraying you, and you had put me in a difficulty. He praised you highly."
"I asked him about you last night," she said. "I pretended," she paused, "I pretended that I had met you a long time ago and talked to you about him. It wasn't true, but I couldn't help it without giving you away, and you put me in a tough spot. He spoke highly of you."
"And—you may permit me one question—does this danger come from Northmour?" I asked.
"And—can I ask you one question—does this danger come from Northmour?" I asked.
"From Mr. Northmour?" she cried. "Oh, no, he stays with us to share it."
"From Mr. Northmour?" she exclaimed. "Oh, no, he’s staying with us to join in."
"While you propose that I should run away?" I said. "You do not rate me very high."
"Are you suggesting that I should just run away?" I said. "You don't think much of me."
"Why should you stay?" she asked. "You are no friend of ours."
"Why should you stay?" she asked. "You're not one of us."
I know not what came over me, for I had not been conscious of a similar weakness since I was a child, but I was so mortified by this retort that my eyes pricked and filled with tears, as I continued to gaze upon her face.
I don’t know what happened to me, since I hadn’t felt such weakness since I was a kid, but I was so embarrassed by this reply that my eyes stung and filled with tears as I kept looking at her face.
"No, no," she said, in a changed voice; "I did not mean the words unkindly."
"No, no," she said, in a different tone; "I didn’t mean the words to be unkind."
"It was I who offended," I said; and I held out my hand with a look of appeal that somehow touched her, for she gave me hers at once, and even eagerly. I held it for awhile in mine, and gazed into her eyes. It was she who first tore her hand away, and, forgetting all about her request and the promise she had sought to extort, ran at the top of her speed, and without turning, till she was out of sight. And then I knew that I loved her, and thought in my glad heart that she—she herself—was not indifferent to my suit. Many a time she has denied it in after days, but it was with a smiling and not a serious denial. For my part, I am sure our hands would not have lain so closely in each other if she had not begun to melt to me already. And, when all is said, it is no great contention, since, by her own avowal, she began to love me on the morrow.
"It was my fault," I said, and I reached out my hand with a look of appeal that somehow moved her, because she instantly gave me hers, even eagerly. I held it for a moment, gazing into her eyes. She was the one who finally pulled her hand away, forgetting all about her request and the promise she had tried to extract, and she ran off as fast as she could without looking back until she disappeared from view. Then I realized that I loved her, and I thought happily that she—she herself—did not feel indifferent to my feelings. Many times later she denied it, but it was always with a smile, not seriously. As for me, I'm certain our hands wouldn't have been so close if she hadn't already started to warm up to me. And, when all is said and done, it’s not much of a debate, since she admitted that she began to love me the next day.
And yet on the morrow very little took place. She came and called me down as on the day before, upbraided me for lingering at Graden, and, when she found I was still obdurate, began to ask me more particularly as to my arrival. I told her by what series of accidents I had come to witness their disembarkation, and how I had determined to remain, partly from the interest which had been awakened in me by Northmour's guests, and partly because of his own murderous attack. As to the former, I fear I was disingenuous, and led her to regard herself as having been an attraction to me from the first moment that I saw her on the links. It relieves my heart to make this confession even now, when my wife is with God, and already knows all things, and the honesty of my purpose even in this; for while she lived, although it often pricked my conscience, I had never the hardihood to undeceive her. Even a little secret, in such a married life as ours, is like the rose leaf which kept the princess from her sleep.
And yet the next day, not much happened. She came and called me down just like the day before, scolded me for hanging around Graden, and when she saw that I was still stubborn, she started asking me more details about my arrival. I explained how I ended up witnessing their disembarkation and how I decided to stay, partly because of the interest that Northmour's guests had sparked in me, and partly because of his own violent attack. As for the first reason, I worry that I was being less than honest, making her think she had drawn me in from the moment I first saw her on the links. It eases my heart to admit this even now, when my wife is with God, who knows everything, including the truth of my intentions—even this one; for while she was alive, even though it often weighed on my conscience, I never had the courage to set the record straight. Even a small secret, in a marriage like ours, is like the rose petal that kept the princess from her sleep.
From this the talk branched into other subjects, and I told her much about my lonely and wandering existence; she, for her part, giving ear, and saying little. Although we spoke very naturally, and latterly on topics that might seem indifferent, we were both sweetly agitated. Too soon it was time for her to go; and we separated, as if by mutual consent, without shaking hands, for both knew that, between us, it was no idle ceremony.
From there, the conversation turned to other topics, and I opened up about my lonely and restless life. She listened, saying very little. Even though our chat flowed easily, eventually veering into topics that might seem trivial, we were both quietly excited. Before long, it was time for her to leave, and we parted ways, sort of in unison, without shaking hands, as we both understood that it wasn't just a formal gesture between us.
The next, and that was the fourth day of our acquaintance, we met in the same spot, but early in the morning, with much familiarity and yet much timidity on either side. While she had once more spoken about my danger—and that, I understood, was her excuse for coming—I, who had prepared a great deal of talk during the night, began to tell her how highly I valued her kind interest, and how no one had ever cared to hear about my life, nor had I ever cared to relate it, before yesterday. Suddenly she interrupted me, saying with vehemence—
The next day, which was the fourth day since we met, we saw each other again in the same place, but early in the morning. There was a lot of familiarity between us, yet we both felt a bit shy. She mentioned my danger again—an excuse for her to come, I realized—while I had prepared a lot to say during the night. I started to tell her how much I appreciated her interest and how no one had ever wanted to hear about my life, nor had I ever wanted to share it, until yesterday. Suddenly, she cut me off, saying with intensity—
"And yet, if you knew who I was, you would not so much as speak to me!"
"And yet, if you knew who I really was, you wouldn't even talk to me!"
I told her such a thought was madness, and, little as we had met, I counted her already a dear friend; but my protestations seemed only to make her more desperate.
I told her that idea was crazy, and even though we hadn't known each other long, I already considered her a close friend; but my attempts to reassure her only made her more desperate.
"My father is in hiding!" she cried.
"My dad is hiding!" she exclaimed.
"My dear," I said, forgetting for the first time to add "young lady," "what do I care? If I were in hiding twenty times over, would it make one thought of change in you?"
"My dear," I said, forgetting for the first time to add "young lady," "what do I care? Even if I were in hiding a hundred times, would it change your mind at all?"
"Ah, but the cause!" she cried, "the cause! It is"—she faltered for a second—"it is disgraceful to us!"
"Ah, but the reason!" she exclaimed, "the reason! It is"—she hesitated for a moment—"it is shameful for us!"
IV
This was my wife's story, as I drew it from her among tears and sobs. Her name was Clara Huddlestone: it sounded very beautiful in my ears; but not so beautiful as that other name of Clara Cassilis, which she wore during the longer and, I thank God, the happier portion of her life. Her father, Bernard Huddlestone, had been a private banker in a very large way of business. Many years before, his affairs becoming disordered, he had been led to try dangerous, and at last criminal, expedients to retrieve himself from ruin. All was in vain; he became more and more cruelly involved, and found his honor lost at the same moment with his fortune. About this period, Northmour had been courting his daughter with great assiduity, though with small encouragement; and to him, knowing him thus disposed in his favor, Bernard Huddlestone turned for help in his extremity. It was not merely ruin and dishonor, nor merely a legal condemnation, that the unhappy man had brought upon his head. It seems he could have gone to prison with a light heart. What he feared, what kept him awake at night or recalled him from slumber into frenzy, was some secret, sudden, and unlawful attempt upon his life. Hence, he desired to bury his existence and escape to one of the islands in the South Pacific, and it was in Northmour's yacht, the "Red Earl," that he designed to go. The yacht picked them up clandestinely upon the coast of Wales, and had once more deposited them at Graden, till she could be refitted and provisioned for the longer voyage. Nor could Clara doubt that her hand had been stipulated as the price of passage. For, although Northmour was neither unkind, nor even discourteous, he had shown himself in several instances somewhat overbold in speech and manner.
This was my wife's story, which I gathered from her through tears and sobs. Her name was Clara Huddlestone; it sounded lovely to me, but not as lovely as the other name she had, Clara Cassilis, which she carried during the longer and, thank God, the happier phase of her life. Her father, Bernard Huddlestone, had been a private banker running a very large operation. Many years earlier, when his business fell into disarray, he turned to risky and eventually illegal measures to save himself from destruction. All his efforts were in vain; he became more deeply entangled and lost his honor along with his wealth. Around this time, Northmour had been pursuing his daughter diligently, though with little encouragement. Knowing Northmour was favorably inclined toward him, Bernard Huddlestone sought his help in his time of crisis. It wasn't just ruin and disgrace, nor merely a legal downfall, that the unfortunate man faced. He could have faced imprisonment without care. What haunted him, what kept him awake at night and pulled him from sleep into despair, was the fear of some sudden, illegal attempt on his life. Thus, he wanted to disappear and escape to one of the islands in the South Pacific, planning to take Northmour's yacht, the "Red Earl," for the journey. The yacht secretly picked them up along the coast of Wales and dropped them at Graden again, until it could be refitted and stocked for the longer journey. Clara had no doubt that her hand in marriage was the price for the passage. Although Northmour wasn't unkind or even rude, he had shown himself to be somewhat forward in his words and behavior on several occasions.
I listened, I need not say, with fixed attention, and put many questions as to the more mysterious part. It was in vain. She had no clear idea of what the blow was, nor of how it was expected to fall. Her father's alarm was unfeigned and physically prostrating, and he had thought more than once of making an unconditional surrender to the police. But the scheme was finally abandoned, for he was convinced that not even the strength of our English prisons could shelter him from his pursuers. He had had many affairs in Italy, and with Italians resident in London, in the latter years of his business; and these last, as Clara fancied, were somehow connected with the doom that threatened him. He had shown great terror at the presence of an Italian seaman on board the "Red Earl," and had bitterly and repeatedly accused Northmour in consequence. The latter had protested that Beppo (that was the seaman's name) was a capital fellow, and could be trusted to the death; but Mr. Huddlestone had continued ever since to declare that all was lost, that it was only a question of days, and that Beppo would be the ruin of him yet.
I listened attentively and asked many questions about the more mysterious parts. It was useless. She had no clear idea of what the threat was or how it was supposed to happen. Her father's fear was genuine and physically draining, and he had considered giving himself up to the police more than once. But he ultimately abandoned that plan, believing that not even the strength of English prisons could protect him from his pursuers. He had many business dealings in Italy and with Italians living in London in the later years of his career; Clara thought these connections were somehow linked to the danger he was facing. He had reacted with great fear to the presence of an Italian sailor on the "Red Earl," and had repeatedly accused Northmour out of frustration. Northmour insisted that Beppo (the sailor's name) was a great guy and could be trusted completely, but Mr. Huddlestone continued to claim that everything was hopeless and it was just a matter of days before Beppo would cause his downfall.
I regarded the whole story as the hallucination of a mind shaken by calamity. He had suffered heavy loss by his Italian transactions; and hence the sight of an Italian was hateful to him, and the principal part in his nightmare would naturally enough be played by one of that nation.
I saw the whole story as a delusion created by a mind shaken by disaster. He had experienced significant losses from his dealings in Italy; so, seeing an Italian made him angry, and it made sense that one from that country would play the lead role in his nightmare.
"What your father wants," I said, "is a good doctor and some calming medicine."
"What your father wants," I said, "is a good doctor and some soothing medicine."
"But Mr. Northmour?" objected Clara. "He is untroubled by losses, and yet he shares in this terror."
"But Mr. Northmour?" Clara objected. "He isn’t affected by losses, and yet he feels this fear."
I could not help laughing at what I considered her simplicity.
I couldn’t help but laugh at what I thought was her naivety.
"My dear," said I, "you have told me yourself what reward he has to look for. All is fair in love, you must remember; and if Northmour foments your father's terrors, it is not at all because he is afraid of any Italian man, but simply because he is infatuated with a charming English woman."
"My dear," I said, "you’ve already told me what reward he can expect. Remember, everything’s fair in love; and if Northmour is stirring up your father’s fears, it’s not because he’s scared of any Italian man, but simply because he’s smitten with a lovely English woman."
She reminded me of his attack upon myself on the night of the disembarkation, and this I was unable to explain. In short, and from one thing to another, it was agreed between us that I should set out at once for the fisher village, Graden Wester, as it was called, look up all the newspapers I could find, and see for myself if there seemed any basis of fact for these continued alarms. The next morning, at the same hour and place, I was to make my report to Clara. She said no more on that occasion about my departure; nor, indeed, did she make it a secret that she clung to the thought of my proximity as something helpful and pleasant; and, for my part, I could not have left her, if she had gone upon her knees to ask it.
She reminded me of his attack on me the night we disembarked, and I couldn’t really explain it. In short, after discussing a few things, we agreed that I should head straight to the fishing village called Graden Wester, find all the newspapers I could, and see for myself if there was any truth to these ongoing alarms. The next morning, at the same time and place, I would report back to Clara. She didn’t say anything more about my leaving at that moment, nor did she hide the fact that she appreciated having me nearby as something comforting and nice; and honestly, I couldn’t have left her even if she had begged me to.
I reached Graden Wester before ten in the forenoon; for in those days I was an excellent pedestrian, and the distance, as I think I have said, was little over seven miles; fine walking all the way upon the springy turf. The village is one of the bleakest on that coast, which is saying much: there is a church in the hollow; a miserable haven in the rocks, where many boats have been lost as they returned from fishing; two or three score of stone houses arranged along the beach and in two streets, one leading from the harbor, and another striking out from it at right angles; and, at the corner of these two, a very dark and cheerless tavern, by way of principal hotel.
I arrived at Graden Wester before 10 in the morning; back then, I was a fantastic walker, and the distance, as I believe I've mentioned, was just over seven miles; it was great walking the entire way on the springy grass. The village is one of the bleakest on that coast, which is saying a lot: there’s a church in the valley; a dismal harbor in the rocks, where many boats have been lost returning from fishing; a couple of dozen stone houses lined up along the beach and on two streets, one leading from the harbor and the other branching off at a right angle; and at the corner of these two, a very dark and gloomy tavern serving as the main hotel.
I had dressed myself somewhat more suitably to my station in life, and at once called upon the minister in his little manse beside the graveyard. He knew me, although it was more than nine years since we had met; and when I told him that I had been long upon a walking tour, and was behind with the news, readily lent me an armful of newspapers, dating from a month back to the day before. With these I sought the tavern, and, ordering some breakfast, sat down to study the "Huddlestone Failure."
I dressed a bit more appropriately for my position in life and immediately visited the minister at his small house next to the graveyard. He recognized me, even though it had been over nine years since we last met; and when I explained that I had been on a long walking trip and was out of touch with the news, he happily lent me a stack of newspapers, ranging from a month ago to the day before. With those in hand, I went to the tavern, ordered some breakfast, and sat down to read about the "Huddlestone Failure."
It had been, it appeared, a very flagrant case. Thousands of persons were reduced to poverty; and one in particular had blown out his brains as soon as payment was suspended. It was strange to myself that, while I read these details, I continued rather to sympathize with Mr. Huddlestone than with his victims; so complete already was the empire of my love for my wife. A price was naturally set upon the banker's head; and, as the case was inexcusable and the public indignation thoroughly aroused, the unusual figure of £750 was offered for his capture. He was reported to have large sums of money in his possession. One day, he had been heard of in Spain; the next, there was sure intelligence that he was still lurking between Manchester and Liverpool, or along the border of Wales; and the day after, a telegram would announce his arrival in Cuba or Yucatan. But in all this there was no word of an Italian, nor any sign of mystery.
It seemed to be a very blatant case. Thousands of people were left in poverty; and one person, in particular, had taken his own life as soon as payments stopped. I found it odd that, while I read these details, I felt more sympathy for Mr. Huddlestone than for his victims; my love for my wife had already taken over that much. A bounty was naturally placed on the banker's head; and since the case was inexcusable and public outrage was fully ignited, an unusual reward of £750 was offered for his capture. It was rumored that he had large sums of money on him. One day, he was said to be in Spain; the next, there was reliable news that he was still hiding between Manchester and Liverpool, or along the Welsh border; and the day after that, a telegram would announce his arrival in Cuba or Yucatan. But throughout all this, there was no mention of an Italian, nor any sign of mystery.
In the very last paper, however, there was one item not so clear. The accountants who were charged to verify the failure had, it seemed, come upon the traces of a very large number of thousands, which figured for some time in the transactions of the house of Huddlestone; but which came from nowhere, and disappeared in the same mysterious fashion. It was only once referred to by name, and then under the initials "X.X."; but it had plainly been floated for the first time into the business at a period of great depression some six years ago. The name of a distinguished royal personage had been mentioned by rumor in connection with this sum. "The cowardly desperado"—such, I remember, was the editorial expression—was supposed to have escaped with a large part of this mysterious fund still in his possession.
In the very last report, there was one thing that wasn't very clear. The accountants who were hired to investigate the failure had seemingly found evidence of a massive sum of money that had been part of the Huddlestone transactions for a while, but it appeared out of nowhere and vanished just as mysteriously. It was only mentioned once by name, and then only as "X.X."; but it was clearly introduced to the business during a time of significant economic downturn about six years ago. Rumors had linked this amount to a notable royal figure. "The cowardly desperado"—that was how the editorial described him—was thought to have gotten away with a large portion of this mysterious fund still in his possession.
I was still brooding over the fact, and trying to torture it into some connection with Mr. Huddlestone's danger, when a man entered the tavern and asked for some bread and cheese with a decided foreign accent.
I was still thinking about it and trying to connect it to Mr. Huddlestone's danger when a man walked into the tavern and asked for some bread and cheese with a strong foreign accent.
"Siete Italiano?" said I.
"Are you Italian?" I said.
"Si, Signor," was his reply.
"Yes, Sir," was his reply.
I said it was unusually far north to find one of his compatriots; at which he shrugged his shoulders, and replied that a man would go anywhere to find work. What work he could hope to find at Graden Wester, I was totally unable to conceive; and the incident struck so unpleasantly upon my mind, that I asked the landlord, while he was counting me some change, whether he had ever before seen an Italian in the village. He said he had once seen some Norwegians, who had been shipwrecked on the other side of Graden Ness and rescued by the lifeboat from Cauldhaven.
I mentioned that it was pretty unusual to find one of his fellow countrymen so far north. He shrugged and said a person would go anywhere for a job. I couldn't imagine what kind of work he could hope to find at Graden Wester, and the whole situation bothered me so much that I asked the landlord, while he was giving me my change, if he had ever seen an Italian in the village before. He said he once saw some Norwegians who had been shipwrecked on the other side of Graden Ness and were rescued by the lifeboat from Cauldhaven.
"No!" said I; "but an Italian, like the man who has just had bread and cheese."
"No!" I said; "but an Italian, like the guy who just had bread and cheese."
"What?" cried he, "yon black-avised fellow wi' the teeth? Was he an I-talian? Weel, yon's the first that ever I saw, an' I dare say he's like to be the last."
"What?" he exclaimed, "that guy with the dark eyes and the teeth? Was he Italian? Well, that's the first one I've ever seen, and I bet he'll be the last."
Even as he was speaking, I raised my eyes, and, casting a glance into the street, beheld three men in earnest conversation together, and not thirty yards away. One of them was my recent companion in the tavern parlor; the other two, by their handsome sallow features and soft hats, should evidently belong to the same race. A crowd of village children stood around them, gesticulating and talking gibberish in imitation. The trio looked singularly foreign to the bleak dirty street in which they were standing and the dark gray heaven that overspread them; and I confess my incredulity received at that moment a shock from which it never recovered. I might reason with myself as I pleased, but I could not argue down the effect of what I had seen, and I began to share in the Italian terror.
Even as he was talking, I looked up and, glancing out into the street, saw three men deep in conversation not thirty yards away. One of them was my recent companion from the tavern; the other two, with their striking sallow features and soft hats, clearly belonged to the same ethnicity. A group of village kids surrounded them, gesturing and mimicking their speech. The three men looked oddly out of place in the grimy, cold street and under the dark gray sky; I admit my disbelief was shaken in that moment, and it never fully recovered. I could try to reason with myself all I wanted, but I couldn’t dismiss the impact of what I had witnessed, and I started to feel the same Italian fear.
It was already drawing toward the close of the day before I had returned the newspapers to the manse, and got well forward on to the links on my way home. I shall never forget that walk. It grew very cold and boisterous; the wind sung in the short grass about my feet; thin rain showers came running on the gusts; and an immense mountain range of clouds began to arise out of the bosom of the sea. It would be hard to imagine a more dismal evening; and whether it was from these external influences, or because my nerves were already affected by what I had heard and seen, my thoughts were as gloomy as the weather.
It was already getting late in the day when I returned the newspapers to the manse and made my way toward the links on my walk home. I will never forget that walk. It grew very cold and windy; the wind whistled through the short grass around my feet; light rain showers came in with the gusts; and a massive range of clouds began to rise from the sea. It would be hard to imagine a more dreary evening, and whether it was due to these external factors or because my nerves were already rattled by what I had heard and seen, my thoughts were as gloomy as the weather.
The upper windows of the pavilion commanded a considerable spread of links in the direction of Graden Wester. To avoid observation, it was necessary to hug the beach until I had gained cover from the higher sand hills on the little headland, when I might strike across, through the hollows, for the margin of the wood. The sun was about setting; the tide was low, and all the quicksands uncovered; and I was moving along, lost in unpleasant thought, when I was suddenly thunderstruck to perceive the prints of human feet. They ran parallel to my own course, but low down upon the beach, instead of along the border of the turf; and, when I examined them, I saw at once, by the size and coarseness of the impression, that it was a stranger to me and to those of the pavilion who had recently passed that way. Not only so; but from the recklessness of the course which he had followed, steering near to the most formidable portions of the sand, he was evidently a stranger to the country and to the ill-repute of Graden beach.
The upper windows of the pavilion offered a great view of the links towards Graden Wester. To stay out of sight, I had to stick close to the beach until I could find cover from the taller sand hills on the small headland, after which I could head across the dips toward the edge of the woods. The sun was setting; the tide was low, revealing all the quicksands; and I was walking along, lost in unpleasant thoughts, when I was suddenly shocked to see the prints of human feet. They ran parallel to my own path, but were low on the beach instead of along the edge of the grass; and when I examined them, I immediately realized, by the size and roughness of the footprints, that they belonged to someone I didn't know and who was also unfamiliar to those at the pavilion who had recently walked this way. Moreover, given the reckless path he had taken, getting close to the most dangerous parts of the sand, it was clear he was a stranger to the area and the bad reputation of Graden beach.
Step by step I followed the prints; until, a quarter of a mile farther, I beheld them die away into the southeastern boundary of Graden Floe. There, whoever he was, the miserable man had perished. One or two gulls, who had, perhaps, seen him disappear, wheeled over his sepulcher with their usual melancholy piping. The sun had broken through the clouds by a last effort, and colored the wide level of quicksands with a dusky purple. I stood for some time gazing at the spot, chilled and disheartened by my own reflections, and with a strong and commanding consciousness of death. I remember wondering how long the tragedy had taken, and whether his screams had been audible at the pavilion. And then, making a strong resolution, I was about to tear myself away, when a gust fiercer than usual fell upon this quarter of the beach, and I saw, now whirling high in air, now skimming lightly across the surface of the sands, a soft, black, felt hat, somewhat conical in shape, such as I had remarked already on the heads of the Italians.
Step by step, I followed the footprints until, a quarter of a mile later, I saw them fade away into the southeastern boundary of Graden Floe. There, whoever he was, the unfortunate man had perished. One or two gulls, who might have seen him disappear, circled over his grave with their usual sorrowful cries. The sun had broken through the clouds one last time and tinted the wide stretch of quicksand a dark purple. I stood for a while, staring at the spot, feeling cold and disheartened by my thoughts, with a strong and overwhelming awareness of death. I remember wondering how long the tragedy lasted and if his screams were heard at the pavilion. Just then, as I was about to pull myself away with a strong resolve, a gust stronger than usual hit this part of the beach, and I saw a soft black felt hat, somewhat conical in shape, swirling high in the air and then gliding lightly across the surface of the sand—just like the ones I had noticed on the heads of the Italians.
I believe, but I am not sure, that I uttered a cry. The wind was driving the hat shoreward, and I ran round the border of the floe to be ready against its arrival. The gust fell, dropping the hat for awhile upon the quicksand, and then, once more freshening, landed it a few yards from where I stood. I seized it with the interest you may imagine. It had seen some service; indeed, it was rustier than either of those I had seen that day upon the street. The lining was red, stamped with the name of the maker, which I have forgotten, and that of the place of manufacture, Venedig. This (it is not yet forgotten) was the name given by the Austrians to the beautiful city of Venice, then, and for long after, a part of their dominions.
I think I shouted, but I’m not sure. The wind was blowing the hat toward the shore, so I ran around the edge of the ice to get ready for its arrival. The gust died down, leaving the hat resting on the quicksand for a moment, and then, as the wind picked up again, it landed a few yards from where I was standing. I grabbed it with the excitement you can imagine. It had clearly been used; in fact, it was rustier than the other hats I had seen that day on the street. The lining was red, stamped with the name of the maker, which I can't remember, and the place of manufacture, Venedig. This (still not forgotten) was the name the Austrians used for the beautiful city of Venice, which at that time, and for a long time afterward, was part of their territory.
The shock was complete. I saw imaginary Italians upon every side; and for the first, and, I may say, for the last time in my experience, became overpowered by what is called a panic terror. I knew nothing, that is, to be afraid of, and yet I admit that I was heartily afraid; and it was with sensible reluctance that I returned to my exposed and solitary camp in the Sea-Wood.
The shock was total. I saw imaginary Italians all around me; and for the first, and I might say the last, time in my life, I was overwhelmed by what people call panic terror. I had nothing to be afraid of, yet I have to admit that I was genuinely scared; and I returned to my exposed and lonely camp in the Sea-Wood with noticeable hesitation.
There I eat some cold porridge which had been left over from the night before, for I was disinclined to make a fire; and, feeling strengthened and reassured, dismissed all these fanciful terrors from my mind, and lay down to sleep with composure.
There I ate some cold porridge that had been left over from the night before, since I didn't feel like starting a fire; and, feeling stronger and more at ease, I pushed all those silly fears out of my mind and lay down to sleep calmly.
How long I may have slept it is impossible for me to guess; but I was awakened at last by a sudden, blinding flash of light into my face. It woke me like a blow. In an instant I was upon my knees. But the light had gone as suddenly as it came. The darkness was intense. And, as it was blowing great guns from the sea, and pouring with rain, the noises of the storm effectually concealed all others.
How long I might have slept, I can’t say; but I was finally roused by a sudden, blinding flash of light in my face. It jolted me awake. In an instant, I was on my knees. But the light disappeared as quickly as it appeared. The darkness was overwhelming. And since it was storming heavily from the sea and pouring rain, the sounds of the storm drowned out everything else.
It was, I dare say, half a minute before I regained my self-possession. But for two circumstances, I should have thought I had been awakened by some new and vivid form of nightmare. First, the flap of my tent, which I had shut carefully when I retired, was now unfastened; and, second, I could still perceive, with a sharpness that excluded any theory of hallucination, the smell of hot metal and of burning oil. The conclusion was obvious. I had been awakened by some one flashing a bull's-eye lantern in my face. It had been but a flash, and away. He had seen my face, and then gone. I asked myself the object of so strange a proceeding, and the answer came pat. The man, whoever he was, had thought to recognize me, and he had not. There was another question unresolved; and to this, I may say, I feared to give an answer; if he had recognized me, what would he have done?
It took me about half a minute to collect myself again. If it weren't for two things, I would have thought I had woken up from some strange and vivid nightmare. First, the flap of my tent, which I had securely closed when I went to sleep, was now unfastened; and second, I could still clearly smell hot metal and burning oil, which ruled out any idea of hallucination. The conclusion was clear. Someone had flashed a bull's-eye lantern in my face. It had just been a quick flash, and then it was gone. He had seen my face and then left. I wondered what the point of such an odd act was, and the answer came quickly. The man, whoever he was, must have tried to recognize me and failed. There was another question left unanswered, and I dreaded to consider it: if he had recognized me, what would he have done?
My fears were immediately diverted from myself, for I saw that I had been visited in a mistake; and I became persuaded that some dreadful danger threatened the pavilion. It required some nerve to issue forth into the black and intricate thicket which surrounded and overhung the den; but I groped my way to the links, drenched with rain, beaten upon and deafened by the gusts, and fearing at every step to lay my hand upon some lurking adversary. The darkness was so complete that I might have been surrounded by an army and yet none the wiser, and the uproar of the gale so loud that my hearing was as useless as my sight.
My fears quickly shifted away from myself when I realized I had made a mistake; I became convinced that some terrible danger was threatening the pavilion. It took some courage to step into the dark, tangled thicket that surrounded and loomed over the den, but I made my way to the links, soaked from the rain, battered by the wind, and deafened by the gusts, constantly worried I might stumble upon some hidden enemy. The darkness was so complete that I could have been surrounded by an army and wouldn’t have known it, and the roar of the storm was so loud that my hearing was as useless as my sight.
For the rest of that night, which seemed interminably long, I patrolled the vicinity of the pavilion, without seeing a living creature or hearing any noise but the concert of the wind, the sea, and the rain. A light in the upper story filtered through a cranny of the shutter, and kept me company till the approach of dawn.
For the rest of that night, which felt never-ending, I walked around the area of the pavilion, without seeing a soul or hearing anything except for the sounds of the wind, the sea, and the rain. A light from the upper floor shone through a crack in the shutter and kept me company until dawn began to break.
V
With the first peep of day, I retired from the open to my old lair among the sand hills, there to await the coming of my wife. The morning was gray, wild, and melancholy; the wind moderated before sunrise, and then went about, and blew in puffs from the shore; the sea began to go down, but the rain still fell without mercy. Over all the wilderness of links there was not a creature to be seen. Yet I felt sure the neighborhood was alive with skulking foes. The light that had been so suddenly and surprisingly flashed upon my face as I lay sleeping, and the hat that had been blown ashore by the wind from over Graden Floe, were two speaking signals of the peril that environed Clara and the party in the pavilion.
With the first light of day, I left the open air and went back to my old spot among the sand hills, waiting for my wife to arrive. The morning was gray, wild, and gloomy; the wind calmed down before sunrise, then changed direction and blew in puffs from the shore; the sea started to recede, but the rain kept pouring down relentlessly. There wasn’t a single creature to be seen across the vast, sandy land. Still, I was sure the area was full of lurking enemies. The light that suddenly flashed on my face as I lay sleeping and the hat that the wind had blown ashore from over Graden Floe were clear signs of the danger surrounding Clara and the group in the pavilion.
It was, perhaps, half-past seven, or nearer eight, before I saw the door open, and that dear figure come toward me in the rain. I was waiting for her on the beach before she had crossed the sand hills.
It was maybe half past seven, or closer to eight, when I saw the door open and that beloved figure coming toward me in the rain. I was waiting for her on the beach before she had made it over the sand dunes.
"I have had such trouble to come!" she cried. "They did not wish me to go walking in the rain."
"I had such a hard time getting here!" she exclaimed. "They didn't want me to go out in the rain."
"Clara," I said, "you are not frightened!"
"Clara," I said, "you're not scared!"
"No," said she, with a simplicity that filled my heart with confidence. For my wife was the bravest as well as the best of women; in my experience, I have not found the two go always together, but with her they did; and she combined the extreme of fortitude with the most endearing and beautiful virtues.
"No," she said, with a straightforwardness that made me feel assured. My wife was not only the bravest but also the most wonderful of women; in my experience, those two qualities don't always coexist, but they did in her case; she blended remarkable courage with the most charming and beautiful traits.
I told her what had happened; and, though her cheek grew visibly paler, she retained perfect control over her senses.
I told her what happened; and, even though her face went noticeably pale, she kept complete control over her feelings.
"You see now that I am safe," said I, in conclusion. "They do not mean to harm me; for, had they chosen, I was a dead man last night."
"You can see I'm safe now," I said to wrap things up. "They don’t intend to hurt me; if they had wanted to, I would have been a dead man last night."
She laid her hand upon my arm.
She rested her hand on my arm.
"And I had no presentiment!" she cried.
"And I had no clue!" she exclaimed.
Her accent thrilled me with delight. I put my arm about her, and strained her to my side; and, before either of us was aware, her hands were on my shoulders and my lips upon her mouth. Yet up to that moment no word of love had passed between us. To this day I remember the touch of her cheek, which was wet and cold with the rain; and many a time since, when she has been washing her face, I have kissed it again for the sake of that morning on the beach. Now that she is taken from me, and I finish my pilgrimage alone, I recall our old loving kindnesses and the deep honesty and affection which united us, and my present loss seems but a trifle in comparison.
Her accent filled me with joy. I put my arm around her and pulled her close to my side; and before either of us realized it, her hands were on my shoulders and my lips were on hers. Yet, up until that moment, we hadn't exchanged a word of love. To this day, I remember the feel of her cheek, which was wet and cold from the rain; and many times since, when she's been washing her face, I've kissed it again just to relive that morning on the beach. Now that she’s gone and I’m finishing my journey alone, I think back on our old kindness and the deep honesty and affection that connected us, and my current loss feels small in comparison.
We may have thus stood for some seconds—for time passes quickly with lovers—before we were startled by a peal of laughter close at hand. It was not natural mirth, but seemed to be affected in order to conceal an angrier feeling. We both turned, though I still kept my left arm about Clara's waist; nor did she seek to withdraw herself; and there, a few paces off upon the beach, stood Northmour, his head lowered, his hands behind his back, his nostrils white with passion.
We might have been standing like that for a few seconds—time flies when you’re in love—before we were jolted by a burst of laughter nearby. It wasn’t genuine laughter; it sounded forced, as if to hide some anger. We both turned, but I kept my left arm around Clara’s waist, and she didn’t try to pull away. There, just a few steps away on the beach, stood Northmour, his head down, his hands behind his back, his nostrils flared with rage.
"Ah! Cassilis!" he said, as I disclosed my face.
"Ah! Cassilis!" he said, as I revealed my face.
"That same," said I; for I was not at all put about.
"That same," I said; because I wasn't worried at all.
"And so, Miss Huddlestone," he continued slowly, but savagely, "this is how you keep your faith to your father and to me? This is the value you set upon your father's life? And you are so infatuated with this young gentleman that you must brave ruin, and decency, and common human caution—"
"And so, Miss Huddlestone," he continued slowly, but harshly, "this is how you stay loyal to your father and to me? This is how much you value your father's life? And you’re so obsessed with this young man that you have to risk everything, along with your decency and basic human caution—"
"Miss Huddlestone—" I was beginning to interrupt him, when he, in his turn, cut in brutally—
"Miss Huddlestone—" I was about to interrupt him when he abruptly cut me off—
"You hold your tongue," said he; "I am speaking to that girl."
"You keep quiet," he said; "I’m talking to that girl."
"That girl, as you call her, is my wife," said I; and my wife only leaned a little nearer, so that I knew she had affirmed my words.
"That girl, as you call her, is my wife," I said; and my wife just leaned a bit closer, so I knew she agreed with me.
"Your what?" he cried. "You lie!"
"Your what?" he yelled. "You’re lying!"
"Northmour," I said, "we all know you have a bad temper, and I am the last man to be irritated by words. For all that, I propose that you speak lower, for I am convinced that we are not alone."
"Northmour," I said, "we all know you have a short fuse, and I'm the last person to get bothered by words. Still, I suggest you keep your voice down, because I'm sure we’re not alone."
He looked round him, and it was plain my remark had in some degree sobered his passion. "What do you mean?" he asked.
He looked around, and it was clear my comment had somewhat calmed his anger. "What do you mean?" he asked.
I only said one word: "Italians."
I just said one word: "Italians."
He swore a round oath, and looked at us, from one to the other.
He swore a full oath and looked at us, one by one.
"Mr. Cassilis knows all that I know," said my wife.
"Mr. Cassilis knows everything I know," said my wife.
"What I want to know," he broke out, "is where the devil Mr. Cassilis comes from, and what the devil Mr. Cassilis is doing here. You say you are married; that I do not believe. If you were, Graden Floe would soon divorce you; four minutes and a half, Cassilis. I keep my private cemetery for my friends."
"What I want to know," he exclaimed, "is where on earth Mr. Cassilis comes from, and what on earth Mr. Cassilis is doing here. You say you're married; I don't believe that. If you were, Graden Floe would have divorced you by now; four and a half minutes, Cassilis. I keep my private cemetery for my friends."
"It took somewhat longer," said I, "for that Italian."
"It took a bit longer," I said, "for that Italian."
He looked at me for a moment half daunted, and then, almost civilly, asked me to tell my story. "You have too much the advantage of me, Cassilis," he added. I complied of course; and he listened, with several ejaculations, while I told him how I had come to Graden: that it was I whom he had tried to murder on the night of landing; and what I had subsequently seen and heard of the Italians.
He looked at me for a moment, slightly intimidated, and then, almost politely, asked me to share my story. "You definitely have the upper hand here, Cassilis," he added. I agreed, of course, and he listened, interrupting with a few exclamations, as I explained how I had arrived at Graden: that I was the person he had attempted to kill on the night he landed; and what I had seen and heard afterward about the Italians.
"Well," said he, when I had done, "it is here at last; there is no mistake about that. And what, may I ask, do you propose to do?"
"Well," he said when I finished, "it's finally here; there's no doubt about that. So, what do you plan to do?"
"I propose to stay with you and lend a hand," said I.
"I’d like to stay with you and help out," I said.
"You are a brave man," he returned, with a peculiar intonation.
"You are a brave man," he replied, in a strange tone.
"I am not afraid," said I.
"I'm not scared," I said.
"And so," he continued, "I am to understand that you two are married? And you stand up to it before my face, Miss Huddlestone?"
"And so," he continued, "I take it you two are married? And you're confronting me about it, Miss Huddlestone?"
"We are not yet married," said Clara; "but we shall be as soon as we can."
"We're not married yet," Clara said, "but we will be as soon as we can."
"Bravo!" cried Northmour. "And the bargain? D——n it, you're not a fool, young woman; I may call a spade a spade with you. How about the bargain? You know as well as I do what your father's life depends upon. I have only to put my hands under my coat tails and walk away, and his throat would be cut before the evening."
"Awesome!" shouted Northmour. "And what about the deal? Damn it, you’re no fool, young woman; I can speak frankly with you. What’s the deal? You know just as well as I do what your father's life relies on. I could just put my hands in my pockets and walk away, and his throat would be cut by tonight."
"Yes, Mr. Northmour," returned Clara, with great spirit; "but that is what you will never do. You made a bargain that was unworthy of a gentleman; but you are a gentleman for all that, and you will never desert a man whom you have begun to help."
"Yes, Mr. Northmour," Clara replied enthusiastically, "but that's something you will never do. You made a deal that wasn't worthy of a gentleman, but you are a gentleman nonetheless, and you will never abandon someone you’ve started to help."
"Aha!" said he. "You think I will give my yacht for nothing? You think I will risk my life and liberty for love of the old gentleman; and then, I suppose, be best man at the wedding, to wind up? Well," he added, with an odd smile, "perhaps you are not altogether wrong. But ask Cassilis here. He knows me. Am I a man to trust? Am I safe and scrupulous? Am I kind?"
"Aha!" he said. "You think I’m just going to give away my yacht? You think I’ll risk my life and freedom for the sake of the old man, and then, I suppose, be the best man at the wedding to wrap things up? Well," he added with a strange smile, "maybe you're not entirely wrong. But ask Cassilis here. He knows me. Am I someone you can count on? Am I reliable and careful? Am I kind?"
"I know you talk a great deal, and sometimes, I think, very foolishly," replied Clara, "but I know you are a gentleman, and I am not the least afraid."
"I know you talk a lot, and sometimes, I think, very foolishly," replied Clara, "but I know you're a gentleman, and I'm not afraid at all."
He looked at her with a peculiar approval and admiration; then, turning to me, "Do you think I would give her up without a struggle, Frank?" said he. "I tell you plainly, you look out. The next time we come to blows—"
He looked at her with a strange approval and admiration; then, turning to me, "Do you think I would let her go without a fight, Frank?" he said. "I’m telling you straight, you better watch out. The next time we clash—"
"Will make the third," I interrupted, smiling.
"That's going to be the third," I interrupted, smiling.
"Aye, true; so it will," he said. "I had forgotten. Well, the third time's lucky."
"Yeah, that's true; it will," he said. "I forgot about that. Well, third time's the charm."
"The third time, you mean, you will have the crew of the 'Red Earl' to help," I said.
"The third time, you mean, you'll have the crew of the 'Red Earl' to help," I said.
"Do you hear him?" he asked, turning to my wife.
"Do you hear him?" he asked, turning to my wife.
"I hear two men speaking like cowards," said she. "I should despise myself either to think or speak like that. And neither of you believe one word that you are saying, which makes it the more wicked and silly."
"I hear two men talking like cowards," she said. "I would hate myself if I ever thought or spoke like that. And neither of you really believe what you're saying, which makes it even more wrong and foolish."
"She's a trump!" cried Northmour. "But she's not yet Mrs. Cassilis. I say no more. The present is not for me."
"She's a fraud!" shouted Northmour. "But she's not married to Cassilis yet. I won't say anything more. This moment isn't for me."
Then my wife surprised me.
Then my wife blew me away.
"I leave you here," she said suddenly. "My father has been too long alone. But remember this: you are to be friends, for you are both good friends to me."
"I'll leave you here," she said abruptly. "My dad has been alone for too long. But remember this: you two are supposed to be friends, since you're both really good friends of mine."
She has since told me her reason for this step. As long as she remained, she declares that we two would have continued to quarrel; and I suppose that she was right, for when she was gone we fell at once into a sort of confidentiality.
She has since explained her reason for this decision. As long as she stayed, she says that we would have kept quarreling; and I guess she was right, because once she left, we immediately entered a kind of trust between us.
Northmour stared after her as she went away over the sand hill.
Northmour watched her leave as she walked over the sand hill.
"She is the only woman in the world!" he exclaimed with an oath. "Look at her action."
"She’s the only woman in the world!" he shouted, swearing. "Check out what she’s doing."
I, for my part, leaped at this opportunity for a little further light.
I eagerly jumped at this chance for a bit more insight.
"See here, Northmour," said I; "we are all in a tight place, are we not?"
"Look here, Northmour," I said, "we're all in a difficult situation, aren't we?"
"I believe you, my boy," he answered, looking me in the eyes, and with great emphasis. "We have all hell upon us, that's the truth. You may believe me or not, but I'm afraid of my life."
"I believe you, my boy," he replied, looking me in the eyes with great emphasis. "We're in serious trouble, that's the truth. You can believe me or not, but I'm scared for my life."
"Tell me one thing," said I. "What are they after, these Italians? What do they want with Mr. Huddlestone?"
"Tell me one thing," I said. "What do these Italians want? What do they want with Mr. Huddlestone?"
"Don't you know?" he cried. "The black old scamp had carbonari funds on a deposit—two hundred and eighty thousand; and of course he gambled it away on stocks. There was to have been a revolution in the Tridentino, or Parma; but the revolution is off, and the whole wasp's nest is after Huddlestone. We shall all be lucky if we can save our skins."
"Don't you know?" he exclaimed. "That old rascal had carbonari funds saved up—two hundred and eighty thousand; and, of course, he blew it all on stocks. There was supposed to be a revolution in the Tridentino or Parma; but that's off now, and the whole hornet's nest is after Huddlestone. We’ll all be lucky if we can keep ourselves safe."
"The carbonari!" I exclaimed; "God help him indeed!"
"The carbonari!" I exclaimed; "God help him for sure!"
"Amen!" said Northmour. "And now, look here: I have said that we are in a fix; and, frankly, I shall be glad of your help. If I can't save Huddlestone, I want at least to save the girl. Come and stay in the pavilion; and, there's my hand on it, I shall act as your friend until the old man is either clear or dead. But," he added, "once that is settled, you become my rival once again, and I warn you—mind yourself."
"Amen!" Northmour said. "Now, listen up: I've mentioned that we're in a tough spot, and honestly, I could use your help. If I can't save Huddlestone, I at least want to save the girl. Come stay in the pavilion; I promise I'll act as your friend until we know what's happening with the old man, whether he's cleared or dead. But," he added, "once that's settled, you'll be my rival again, and I warn you—watch yourself."
"Done!" said I; and we shook hands.
"All set!" I said, and we shook hands.
"And now let us go directly to the fort," said Northmour; and he began to lead the way through the rain.
"And now let's head straight to the fort," said Northmour, and he started to lead the way through the rain.
VI
We were admitted to the pavilion by Clara, and I was surprised by the completeness and security of the defenses. A barricade of great strength, and yet easy to displace, supported the door against any violence from without; and the shutters of the dining-room, into which I was led directly, and which was feebly illuminated by a lamp, were even more elaborately fortified. The panels were strengthened by bars and crossbars; and these, in their turn, were kept in position by a system of braces and struts, some abutting on the floor, some on the roof, and others, in fine, against the opposite wall of the apartment. It was at once a solid and well-designed piece of carpentry; and I did not seek to conceal my admiration.
We entered the pavilion with Clara, and I was struck by how secure and well-equipped the defenses were. A strong barricade, yet easy to move, held the door against any outside violence; and the dining room shutters, where I was led directly, were even more heavily reinforced. The panels were reinforced with bars and crossbars; these were supported by a system of braces and struts, some reaching the floor, some to the ceiling, and others against the opposite wall of the room. It was a sturdy and well-crafted piece of woodwork, and I didn't try to hide my admiration.
"I am the engineer," said Northmour. "You remember the planks in the garden? Behold them?"
"I’m the engineer," said Northmour. "Do you remember the planks in the garden? Here they are."
"I did not know you had so many talents," said I.
"I didn't know you had so many skills," I said.
"Are you armed?" he continued, pointing to an array of guns and pistols, all in admirable order, which stood in line against the wall or were displayed upon the sideboard.
"Are you armed?" he asked, pointing to a collection of guns and pistols, all neatly arranged, lined up against the wall or displayed on the sideboard.
"Thank you," I returned; "I have gone armed since our last encounter. But, to tell you the truth, I have had nothing to eat since early yesterday evening."
"Thanks," I replied; "I've been carrying a weapon since we last met. But honestly, I haven't eaten anything since early yesterday evening."
Northmour produced some cold meat, to which I eagerly set myself, and a bottle of good Burgundy, by which, wet as I was, I did not scruple to profit. I have always been an extreme temperance man on principle; but it is useless to push principle to excess, and on this occasion I believe that I finished three quarters of the bottle. As I eat, I still continued to admire the preparations for defense.
Northmour brought out some cold meat, which I dove into eagerly, along with a bottle of good Burgundy. Even though I was pretty soaked, I didn't hesitate to take advantage of it. I've always been a strong believer in temperance, but it's pointless to take principles too far, and this time I think I finished three-quarters of the bottle. While I ate, I kept admiring the defensive arrangements.
"We could stand a siege," I said at length.
"We can handle a siege," I said after a pause.
"Ye—es," drawled Northmour; "a very little one, per—haps. It is not so much the strength of the pavilion I misdoubt; it is the double danger that kills me. If we get to shooting, wild as the country is, some one is sure to hear it, and then—why then it's the same thing, only different, as they say: caged by law, or killed by carbonari. There's the choice. It is a devilish bad thing to have the law against you in this world, and so I tell the old gentleman upstairs. He is quite of my way of thinking."
"Yeah," Northmour drawled, "maybe just a little. It’s not so much the strength of the pavilion I’m worried about; it’s the double danger that freaks me out. If we start shooting, with the countryside being so wild, someone is bound to hear it, and then—well, then it’s the same situation, just different, as they say: trapped by the law, or killed by the carbonari. That’s the choice. It’s a hell of a bad thing to have the law against you in this world, and I keep telling the old guy upstairs. He thinks just like I do."
"Speaking of that," said I, "what kind of person is he?"
"Speaking of that," I said, "what kind of person is he?"
"Oh, he!" cried the other; "he's a rancid fellow, as far as he goes. I should like to have his neck wrung to-morrow by all the devils in Italy. I am not in this affair for him. You take me? I made a bargain for missy's hand, and I mean to have it too."
"Oh, him!" shouted the other; "he's a disgusting guy, as far as he goes. I would love to see him get what’s coming to him by all the devils in Italy tomorrow. I’m not in this for him. You get me? I made a deal for the girl’s hand, and I intend to have it too."
"That, by the way," said I. "I understand. But how will Mr. Huddlestone take my intrusion?"
"By the way," I said. "I get it. But how will Mr. Huddlestone react to my being here?"
"Leave that to Clara," returned Northmour.
"Leave that to Clara," Northmour replied.
I could have struck him in the face for his coarse familiarity; but I respected the truce, as, I am bound to say, did Northmour, and so long as the danger continued not a cloud arose in our relation. I bear him this testimony with the most unfeigned satisfaction; nor am I without pride when I look back upon my own behavior. For surely no two men were ever left in a position so invidious and irritating.
I could have punched him in the face for his rude familiarity; but I respected the truce, as Northmour did, and as long as the danger lasted, there wasn't even a hint of conflict between us. I say this with genuine satisfaction; and I take pride when I reflect on my own actions. After all, no two men have ever been put in such an awkward and frustrating position.
As soon as I had done eating, we proceeded to inspect the lower floor. Window by window we tried the different supports, now and then making an inconsiderable change; and the strokes of the hammer sounded with startling loudness through the house. I proposed, I remember, to make loop-holes; but he told me they were already made in the windows of the upper story. It was an anxious business, this inspection, and left me down-hearted. There were two doors and five windows to protect, and, counting Clara, only four of us to defend them against an unknown number of foes. I communicated my doubts to Northmour, who assured me, with unmoved composure, that he entirely shared them.
As soon as I finished eating, we went to check the lower floor. We tested each window’s support, making small adjustments here and there; the sound of the hammer echoed loudly throughout the house. I suggested, I remember, that we should create some loop-holes, but he told me they were already made in the upper floor windows. This inspection was nerve-wracking and left me feeling down. There were two doors and five windows to protect, and including Clara, we only had four of us to defend against an unknown number of enemies. I shared my concerns with Northmour, who calmly assured me that he felt the same way.
"Before morning," said he, "we shall all be butchered and buried in Graden Floe. For me, that is written."
"Before morning," he said, "we're all going to be killed and buried in Graden Floe. That's obvious to me."
I could not help shuddering at the mention of the quicksand, but reminded Northmour that our enemies had spared me in the wood.
I couldn't help but shudder at the mention of the quicksand, but I reminded Northmour that our enemies had spared me in the woods.
"Do not flatter yourself," said he. "Then you were not in the same boat with the old gentleman; now you are. It's the floe for all of us, mark my words."
"Don’t get ahead of yourself," he said. "So you weren't in the same situation as the old man; now you are. We’re all in the same boat, believe me."
I trembled for Clara; and just then her dear voice was heard calling us to come upstairs. Northmour showed me the way, and, when he had reached the landing, knocked at the door of what used to be called My Uncle's Bedroom, as the founder of the pavilion had designed it especially for himself.
I shook with worry for Clara; just then, her lovely voice called us to come upstairs. Northmour led the way, and when he got to the landing, he knocked on the door of what used to be called My Uncle's Bedroom, since the creator of the pavilion had designed it just for himself.
"Come in, Northmour; come in, dear Mr. Cassilis," said a voice from within.
"Come in, Northmour; come in, dear Mr. Cassilis," a voice called from inside.
Pushing open the door, Northmour admitted me before him into the apartment. As I came in I could see the daughter slipping out by the side door into the study, which had been prepared as her bedroom. In the bed, which was drawn back against the wall, instead of standing, as I had last seen it, boldly across the window, sat Bernard Huddlestone, the defaulting banker. Little as I had seen of him by the shifting light of the lantern on the links, I had no difficulty in recognizing him for the same. He had a long and sallow countenance, surrounded by a long red beard and side-whiskers. His broken nose and high cheek-bones gave him somewhat the air of a Kalmuck, and his light eyes shone with the excitement of a high fever. He wore a skull-cap of black silk; a huge Bible lay open before him on the bed, with a pair of gold spectacles in the place, and a pile of other books lay on the stand by his side. The green curtains lent a cadaverous shade to his cheek; and, as he sat propped on pillows, his great stature was painfully hunched, and his head protruded till it overhung his knees. I believe if he had not died otherwise, he must have fallen a victim to consumption in the course of but a very few weeks.
Pushing open the door, Northmour let me into the apartment ahead of him. As I entered, I noticed the daughter slipping out through the side door into the study, which had been set up as her bedroom. In the bed, which was pulled back against the wall instead of boldly standing across the window like I had last seen it, sat Bernard Huddlestone, the defaulting banker. Even though I had only seen him briefly in the shifting light of the lantern on the links, I had no trouble recognizing him. He had a long, pale face framed by a long red beard and side-whiskers. His broken nose and high cheekbones gave him a bit of a Kalmuck look, and his light eyes gleamed with the intensity of a high fever. He wore a black silk skullcap; a huge Bible lay open in front of him on the bed, with a pair of gold spectacles resting on it, and a stack of other books sat on the stand beside him. The green curtains cast a ghostly hue over his cheek, and as he sat propped up on pillows, his tall frame looked painfully hunched, with his head jutting out over his knees. I believe that if he hadn’t died from other causes, he would have soon fallen victim to tuberculosis within just a few weeks.
He held out to me a hand, long, thin, and disagreeably hairy.
He extended a hand to me, long, thin, and unpleasantly hairy.
"Come in, come in, Mr. Cassilis," said he. "Another protector—ahem!—another protector. Always welcome as a friend of my daughter's, Mr. Cassilis. How they have rallied about me, my daughter's friends! May God in heaven bless and reward them for it!"
"Come in, come in, Mr. Cassilis," he said. "Another protector—uh!—another protector. Always welcome as a friend of my daughter, Mr. Cassilis. It’s wonderful how all of my daughter’s friends have come together for me! May God in heaven bless and reward them for it!"
I gave him my hand, of course, because I could not help it; but the sympathy I had been prepared to feel for Clara's father was immediately soured by his appearance, and the wheedling, unreal tones in which he spoke.
I extended my hand to him, of course, because I couldn't avoid it; however, the sympathy I had expected to feel for Clara's father was quickly overshadowed by his appearance and the manipulative, insincere way he spoke.
"Cassilis is a good man," said Northmour; "worth ten."
"Cassilis is a good guy," said Northmour; "worth ten."
"So I hear," cried Mr. Huddlestone eagerly; "so my girl tells me. Ah, Mr. Cassilis, my sin has found me out, you see! I am very low, very low; but I hope equally penitent. We must all come to the throne of grace at last, Mr. Cassilis. For my part, I come late indeed; but with unfeigned humility, I trust."
"So I've heard," shouted Mr. Huddlestone excitedly; "that's what my daughter tells me. Ah, Mr. Cassilis, my wrongdoing has caught up with me, you see! I'm feeling really down, very down; but I hope I'm just as remorseful. We all have to come to the throne of grace eventually, Mr. Cassilis. As for me, I’m coming rather late, but with genuine humility, I hope."
"Fiddle-de-dee!" said Northmour roughly.
"Fiddle-de-dee!" Northmour said roughly.
"No, no, dear Northmour!" cried the banker. "You must not say that; you must not try to shake me. You forget, my dear, good boy, you forget I may be called this very night before my Maker."
"No, no, dear Northmour!" the banker exclaimed. "You can't say that; you shouldn't try to unsettle me. You're forgetting, my dear, good boy, that I might be called before my Maker tonight."
His excitement was pitiful to behold; and I felt myself grow indignant with Northmour, whose infidel opinions I well knew, and heartily despised, as he continued to taunt the poor sinner out of his humor of repentance.
His excitement was sad to see; and I felt myself getting angry with Northmour, whose unfaithful views I knew well and completely despised, as he kept mocking the poor sinner out of his mood of repentance.
"Pooh, my dear Huddlestone!" said he. "You do yourself injustice. You are a man of the world inside and out, and were up to all kinds of mischief before I was born. Your conscience is tanned like South American leather—only you forgot to tan your liver, and that, if you will believe me, is the seat of the annoyance."
"Pooh, my dear Huddlestone!" he said. "You're being hard on yourself. You're a worldly man, inside and out, and you've been involved in all sorts of trouble long before I was even born. Your conscience is as tough as South American leather—it's just that you forgot to toughen up your liver, and that, believe me, is the source of the trouble."
"Rogue, rogue! bad boy!" said Mr. Huddlestone, shaking his finger. "I am no precisian, if you come to that; I always hated a precisian; but I never lost hold of something better through it all. I have been a bad boy, Mr. Cassilis; I do not seek to deny that; but it was after my wife's death, and you know, with a widower, it's a different thing: sinful—I won't say no; but there is a gradation, we shall hope. And talking of that—Hark!" he broke out suddenly, his hand raised, his fingers spread, his face racked with interest and terror. "Only the rain, bless God!" he added, after a pause, and with indescribable relief.
"Rogue, rogue! Bad boy!" Mr. Huddlestone said, shaking his finger. "I’m not a stickler for rules, if you want to know; I’ve always disliked those who are. But I never lost grasp of something more valuable through it all. I've been a bad boy, Mr. Cassilis; I won’t deny that; but it was after my wife’s death, and you know, for a widower, it's a different story: sinful—I won’t argue that; but there are degrees, let's hope. And speaking of that—Wait!" he suddenly exclaimed, his hand raised, fingers spread, his face a mix of curiosity and fear. "Just the rain, thank God!" he added after a moment, with an indescribable sense of relief.
For some seconds he lay back among the pillows like a man near to fainting; then he gathered himself together, and, in somewhat tremulous tones, began once more to thank me for the share I was prepared to take in his defense.
For a few seconds, he lay back on the pillows like someone about to pass out; then he pulled himself together and, in slightly shaky tones, started to thank me again for the part I was willing to take in his defense.
"One question, sir," said I, when he had paused. "Is it true that you have money with you?"
"One question, sir," I said when he stopped. "Is it true that you have money with you?"
He seemed annoyed by the question, but admitted with reluctance that he had a little.
He looked annoyed by the question but reluctantly admitted that he had a bit.
"Well," I continued, "it is their money they are after, is it not? Why not give it up to them?"
"Well," I continued, "it's their money they're after, right? Why not just hand it over to them?"
"Ah!" replied he, shaking his head, "I have tried that already, Mr. Cassilis; and alas! that it should be so, but it is blood they want."
"Ah!" he replied, shaking his head, "I've already tried that, Mr. Cassilis; and unfortunately, that's how it is, but they want blood."
"Huddlestone, that's a little less than fair," said Northmour. "You should mention that what you offered them was upward of two hundred thousand short. The deficit is worth a reference; it is for what they call a cool sum, Frank. Then, you see, the fellows reason in their clear Italian way; and it seems to them, as indeed it seems to me, that they may just as well have both while they're about it—money and blood together, by George, and no more trouble for the extra pleasure."
"Huddlestone, that's not exactly fair," Northmour said. "You should point out that what you offered them was over two hundred thousand short. The shortfall is worth mentioning; that's a serious amount, Frank. Then, you see, those guys think clearly in their Italian way; and it seems to them, as it does to me, that they might as well get both while they're at it—money and blood together, by George, and no extra hassle for the added enjoyment."
"Is it in the pavilion?" I asked.
"Is it in the pavilion?" I asked.
"It is; and I wish it were in the bottom of the sea instead," said Northmour; and then suddenly—"What are you making faces at me for?" he cried to Mr. Huddlestone, on whom I had unconsciously turned my back. "Do you think Cassilis would sell you?"
"It is; and I wish it were at the bottom of the sea instead," said Northmour; and then suddenly—"Why are you making faces at me?" he yelled at Mr. Huddlestone, to whom I had unconsciously turned my back. "Do you think Cassilis would sell you?"
Mr. Huddlestone protested that nothing had been further from his mind.
Mr. Huddlestone insisted that he had never even considered it.
"It is a good thing," retorted Northmour in his ugliest manner. "You might end by wearying us. What were you going to say?" he added, turning to me.
"It’s a good thing," Northmour shot back in his most unpleasant way. "You could end up tiring us out. What were you going to say?" he asked, looking at me.
"I was going to propose an occupation for the afternoon," said I. "Let us carry that money out, piece by piece, and lay it down before the pavilion door. If the carbonari come, why, it's theirs at any rate."
"I was thinking of a plan for the afternoon," I said. "Let’s take that money out, bit by bit, and set it down in front of the pavilion door. If the carbonari show up, well, it’s theirs anyway."
"No, no," cried Mr. Huddlestone; "it does not, it cannot, belong to them! It should be distributed pro rata among all my creditors."
"No, no," shouted Mr. Huddlestone; "it doesn’t, it can’t, belong to them! It should be distributed pro rata among all my creditors."
"Come now, Huddlestone," said Northmour, "none of that."
"Come on, Huddlestone," Northmour said, "knock it off."
"Well, but my daughter," moaned the wretched man.
"Well, but my daughter," the miserable man moaned.
"Your daughter will do well enough. Here are two suitors, Cassilis and I, neither of us beggars, between whom she has to choose. And as for yourself, to make an end of arguments, you have no right to a farthing, and, unless I'm much mistaken, you are going to die."
"Your daughter will be fine. Here are two suitors, Cassilis and me, neither of us poor, for her to choose from. And as for you, to settle this once and for all, you have no claim to a penny, and, unless I'm wrong, you’re going to die."
It was certainly very cruelly said; but Mr. Huddlestone was a man who attracted little sympathy; and, although I saw him wince and shudder, I mentally indorsed the rebuke; nay, I added a contribution of my own.
It was definitely said in a really harsh way; however, Mr. Huddlestone was someone who received little sympathy. Even though I saw him flinch and tremble, I mentally agreed with the criticism; in fact, I added my own two cents.
"Northmour and I," I said, "are willing enough to help you to save your life, but not to escape with stolen property."
"Northmour and I," I said, "are more than willing to help you save your life, but we're not going to help you get away with stolen goods."
He struggled for awhile with himself, as though he were on the point of giving way to anger, but prudence had the best of the controversy.
He wrestled with himself for a while, as if he were about to give in to anger, but common sense won the argument.
"My dear boys," he said, "do with me or my money what you will. I leave all in your hands. Let me compose myself."
"My dear boys," he said, "do whatever you want with me or my money. I'm putting everything in your hands. Let me just relax."
And so we left him, gladly enough I am sure.
And so we left him, and I'm sure we were all glad to do it.
The last that I saw, he had once more taken up his great Bible, and with tremulous hands was adjusting his spectacles to read.
The last time I saw him, he had picked up his old Bible again and was adjusting his glasses with shaky hands to read.
VII
The recollection of that afternoon will always be graven on my mind. Northmour and I were persuaded that an attack was imminent; and if it had been in our power to alter in any way the order of events, that power would have been used to precipitate rather than delay the critical moment. The worst was to be anticipated; yet we could conceive no extremity so miserable as the suspense we were now suffering. I have never been an eager, though always a great, reader; but I never knew books so insipid as those which I took up and cast aside that afternoon in the pavilion. Even talk became impossible, as the hours went on. One or other was always listening for some sound, or peering from an upstairs window over the links. And yet not a sign indicated the presence of our foes.
The memory of that afternoon will always be etched in my mind. Northmour and I were convinced that an attack was imminent; if we could have changed the course of events in any way, we would have chosen to bring on the critical moment rather than prolong it. The worst was to be expected; yet we couldn’t imagine any situation more miserable than the suspense we were currently enduring. I've never been an eager reader, though I’ve always read a lot; but I had never encountered books as dull as those I picked up and tossed aside that afternoon in the pavilion. Even talking became impossible as time passed. One of us was always listening for some noise, or looking out from an upstairs window over the links. Yet there wasn’t a single sign of our enemies’ presence.
We debated over and over again my proposal with regard to the money; and had we been in complete possession of our faculties, I am sure we should have condemned it as unwise; but we were flustered with alarm, grasped at a straw, and determined, although it was as much as advertising Mr. Huddlestone's presence in the pavilion, to carry my proposal into effect.
We went back and forth on my money proposal; if we had been thinking clearly, I know we would have deemed it unwise. But we were panicked and desperate, so we decided to go ahead with my proposal, even though it was basically announcing Mr. Huddlestone's presence in the pavilion.
The sum was part in specie, part in bank paper, and part in circular notes payable to the name of James Gregory. We took it out, counted it, inclosed it once more in a dispatch box belonging to Northmour, and prepared a letter in Italian which he tied to the handle. It was signed by both of us under oath, and declared that this was all the money which had escaped the failure of the house of Huddlestone. This was, perhaps, the maddest action ever perpetrated by two persons professing to be sane. Had the dispatch box fallen into other hands than those for which it was intended, we stood criminally convicted on our own written testimony; but, as I have said, we were neither of us in a condition to judge soberly, and had a thirst for action that drove us to do something, right or wrong, rather than endure the agony of waiting. Moreover, as we were both convinced that the hollows of the links were alive with hidden spies upon our movements, we hoped that our appearance with the box might lead to a parley, and, perhaps, a compromise.
The amount included some cash, some bank notes, and some circular notes made out to James Gregory. We took it out, counted it, sealed it back up in a dispatch box that belonged to Northmour, and wrote a letter in Italian which he attached to the handle. It was signed by both of us under oath, stating that this was all the money that had survived the failure of the Huddlestone firm. This was probably the craziest thing ever done by two people claiming to be sane. If the dispatch box had fallen into the wrong hands, we would have been criminally convicted based on our own written confession; however, as I mentioned before, we were both in no state to think rationally and had an urgent desire to do something—right or wrong—rather than suffer the pain of waiting. Additionally, since we were convinced that the low spots in the links were crawling with hidden spies watching us, we hoped that showing up with the box might lead to a discussion and possibly a compromise.
It was nearly three when we issued from the pavilion. The rain had taken off; the sun shone quite cheerfully. I had never seen the gulls fly so close about the house or approach so fearlessly to human beings. On the very doorstep one flapped heavily past our heads, and uttered its wild cry in my very ear.
It was almost three when we left the pavilion. The rain had stopped; the sun was shining brightly. I had never seen the gulls fly so close to the house or come so boldly near to people. Right by the doorstep, one flapped heavily past our heads and let out its wild cry right in my ear.
"There is an omen for you," said Northmour, who like all freethinkers was much under the influence of superstition. "They think we are already dead."
"There’s a sign for you," said Northmour, who, like all free thinkers, was heavily influenced by superstition. "They think we’re already dead."
I made some light rejoinder, but it was with half my heart; for the circumstance had impressed me.
I made a casual reply, but it was only half-hearted; the situation had affected me.
A yard or two before the gate, on a patch of smooth turf, we set down the dispatch box; and Northmour waved a white handkerchief over his head. Nothing replied. We raised our voices, and cried aloud in Italian that we were there as ambassadors to arrange the quarrel, but the stillness remained unbroken save by the seagulls and the surf. I had a weight at my heart when we desisted; and I saw that even Northmour was unusually pale. He looked over his shoulder nervously, as though he feared that some one had crept between him and the pavilion door.
A yard or two before the gate, on a patch of smooth grass, we set down the dispatch box; and Northmour waved a white handkerchief over his head. There was no response. We raised our voices and shouted in Italian that we were there as ambassadors to settle the dispute, but the silence remained unbroken except for the seagulls and the crashing waves. I felt a heaviness in my heart when we stopped; I noticed that even Northmour was unusually pale. He looked back over his shoulder nervously, as if he was afraid someone had snuck between him and the pavilion door.
"By God," he said in a whisper, "this is too much for me!"
"By God," he whispered, "this is overwhelming for me!"
I replied in the same key: "Suppose there should be none, after all!"
I replied in the same tone: "What if there really are none, after all!"
"Look there," he returned, nodding with his head, as though he had been afraid to point.
"Look there," he said, nodding his head, as if he was too afraid to point.
I glanced in the direction indicated; and there, from the northern quarter of the Sea-Wood, beheld a thin column of smoke rising steadily against the now cloudless sky.
I looked in the direction pointed out, and there, from the northern part of the Sea-Wood, I saw a thin column of smoke rising steadily against the now clear sky.
"Northmour," I said (we still continued to talk in whispers), "it is not possible to endure this suspense. I prefer death fifty times over. Stay you here to watch the pavilion; I will go forward and make sure, if I have to walk right into their camp."
"Northmour," I said (we still kept our voices low), "I can't handle this waiting anymore. I'd rather face death a hundred times. You stay here and keep an eye on the pavilion; I'll move ahead and check it out, even if I have to walk straight into their camp."
He looked once again all round him with puckered eyes, and then nodded assentingly to my proposal.
He looked around with squinted eyes one more time and then nodded in agreement to my suggestion.
My heart beat like a sledge hammer as I set out walking rapidly in the direction of the smoke; and, though up to that moment I had felt chill and shivering, I was suddenly conscious of a glow of heat all over my body. The ground in this direction was very uneven; a hundred men might have lain hidden in as many square yards about my path. But I who had not practiced the business in vain, chose such routes as cut at the very root of concealment, and, by keeping along the most convenient ridges, commanded several hollows at a time. It was not long before I was rewarded for my caution. Coming suddenly on to a mound somewhat more elevated than the surrounding hummocks, I saw, not thirty yards away, a man bent almost double, and running as fast as his attitude permitted, along the bottom of a gully. I had dislodged one of the spies from his ambush. As soon as I sighted him, I called loudly both in English and Italian; and he, seeing concealment was no longer possible, straightened himself out, leaped from the gully, and made off as straight as an arrow for the borders of the wood. It was none of my business to pursue; I had learned what I wanted—that we were beleaguered and watched in the pavilion; and I returned at once, and walked as nearly as possible in my old footsteps, to where Northmour awaited me beside the dispatch box. He was even paler than when I had left him, and his voice shook a little.
My heart pounded like a sledgehammer as I hurried toward the smoke. Until that moment, I'd felt cold and shaky, but I suddenly felt a wave of heat throughout my body. The ground ahead was really uneven; a hundred men could have been hiding in just a few square yards around me. But since I had practiced this enough, I picked routes that got straight to the heart of concealment, staying on the most convenient ridges so I could see several dips at once. It didn’t take long before my cautious approach paid off. Suddenly, I spotted a mound that was a bit higher than the surrounding bumps, and about thirty yards away, I saw a man hunched over, running as fast as he could along the gully bottom. I had caught one of the spies off guard. As soon as I spotted him, I called out loudly in both English and Italian; realizing he couldn't hide anymore, he straightened up, jumped out of the gully, and took off like an arrow toward the edge of the woods. It wasn't my job to chase him; I had learned what I needed to know—that we were surrounded and being watched in the pavilion. I turned back and retraced my steps as closely as possible to where Northmour was waiting beside the dispatch box. He looked even paler than when I left, and his voice trembled a little.
"Could you see what he was like?" he asked.
"Can you see what he was like?" he asked.
"He kept his back turned," I replied.
"He kept his back to me," I replied.
"Let us get into the house, Frank. I don't think I'm a coward, but I can stand no more of this," he whispered.
"Let's go inside, Frank. I don't think I'm a coward, but I can't take any more of this," he whispered.
All was still and sunshiny about the pavilion, as we turned to reenter it; even the gulls had flown in a wider circuit, and were seen flickering along the beach and sand hills; and this loneliness terrified me more than a regiment under arms. It was not until the door was barricaded that I could draw a full inspiration and relieve the weight that lay upon my bosom. Northmour and I exchanged a steady glance; and I suppose each made his own reflections on the white and startled aspect of the other.
All was calm and sunny around the pavilion as we turned to go back inside; even the seagulls were circling farther away and were seen gliding along the beach and sand dunes. This isolation scared me more than a battalion of soldiers. It wasn’t until the door was securely shut that I could take a deep breath and ease the pressure weighing on my chest. Northmour and I shared a steady look, and I guess each of us had our own thoughts about how pale and shocked the other looked.
"You were right," I said. "All is over. Shake hands, old man, for the last time."
"You were right," I said. "It’s all over. Let’s shake hands, old man, for the last time."
"Yes," replied he, "I will shake hands; for, as sure as I am here, I bear no malice. But, remember, if, by some impossible accident, we should give the slip to these blackguards, I'll take the upper hand of you by fair or foul."
"Yeah," he replied, "I’ll shake hands; because, as sure as I’m here, I hold no grudges. But remember, if we somehow manage to escape these thugs, I’ll have the advantage over you, fair or not."
"Oh," said I, "you weary me!"
"Oh," I said, "you’re exhausting me!"
He seemed hurt, and walked away in silence to the foot of the stairs, where he paused.
He looked upset and walked away quietly to the bottom of the stairs, where he stopped.
"You do not understand," said he. "I am not a swindler, and I guard myself; that is all. I may weary you or not, Mr. Cassilis, I do not care a rush; I speak for my own satisfaction, and not for your amusement. You had better go upstairs and court the girl; for my part, I stay here."
"You don’t get it," he said. "I’m not a con artist, and I look out for myself; that’s all. I might bore you, or maybe not, Mr. Cassilis, but I really couldn’t care less; I’m speaking for my own satisfaction, not for your entertainment. You should go upstairs and pursue the girl; as for me, I’m staying right here."
"And I stay with you," I returned. "Do you think I would steal a march, even with your permission?"
"And I’ll stay with you," I replied. "Do you really think I would sneak away, even if you said I could?"
"Frank," he said, smiling, "it's a pity you are an ass, for you have the makings of a man. I think I must be fey to-day; you cannot irritate me even when you try. Do you know," he continued softly, "I think we are the two most miserable men in England, you and I? we have got on to thirty without wife or child, or so much as a shop to look after—poor, pitiful, lost devils, both! And now we clash about a girl! As if there were not several millions in the United Kingdom! Ah, Frank, Frank, the one who loses his throw, be it you or me, he has my pity! It were better for him—how does the Bible say?—that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he were cast into the depth of the sea. Let us take a drink," he concluded suddenly, but without any levity of tone.
"Frank," he said with a smile, "it's a shame you're such a jerk, because you have the potential to be a great guy. I think I must be in a good mood today; you can't get under my skin even when you try. Do you know," he continued softly, "I think we are the two most miserable men in England, you and I? We've made it to thirty without a wife or kids, or even a shop to run—poor, pathetic, lost souls, both! And now we're fighting over a girl! As if there aren't millions out there in the UK! Ah, Frank, Frank, the one who loses this gamble, whether it’s you or me, deserves my sympathy! It would be better for him—how does the Bible put it?—that a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. Let’s grab a drink," he concluded suddenly, but without a hint of lightheartedness.
I was touched by his words, and consented. He sat down on the table in the dining-room, and held up the glass of sherry to his eye.
I was moved by his words and agreed. He sat down at the dining room table and held the glass of sherry up to his eye.
"If you beat me, Frank," he said, "I shall take to drink. What will you do, if it goes the other way?"
"If you beat me, Frank," he said, "I'm going to start drinking. What will you do if it turns out the other way?"
"God knows," I returned.
"God knows," I replied.
"Well," said he, "here is a toast in the meantime: 'Italia irredenta!'"
"Well," he said, "here's a toast for now: 'Italia irredenta!'"
The remainder of the day was passed in the same dreadful tedium and suspense. I laid the table for dinner, while Northmour and Clara prepared the meal together in the kitchen. I could hear their talk as I went to and fro, and was surprised to find it ran all the time upon myself. Northmour again bracketed us together, and rallied Clara on a choice of husbands; but he continued to speak of me with some feeling, and uttered nothing to my prejudice unless he included himself in the condemnation. This awakened a sense of gratitude in my heart, which combined with the immediateness of our peril to fill my eyes with tears. After all, I thought—and perhaps the thought was laughably vain—we were here three very noble human beings to perish in defense of a thieving banker.
The rest of the day dragged on in the same awful boredom and tension. I set the table for dinner while Northmour and Clara cooked together in the kitchen. I could hear their conversation as I went back and forth and was surprised to find they talked about me the whole time. Northmour grouped us together again and teased Clara about her choice in husbands; but he spoke of me with some care and didn't say anything negative about me unless he included himself in the criticism. This stirred a feeling of gratitude in my heart, which, along with the immediacy of our danger, brought tears to my eyes. After all, I thought—and maybe it was a silly thought—we were three very noble people here to perish defending a thieving banker.
Before we sat down to table, I looked forth from an upstairs window. The day was beginning to decline; the links were utterly deserted; the dispatch box still lay untouched where we had left it hours before.
Before we sat down to eat, I looked out from an upstairs window. The day was starting to come to an end; the links were completely empty; the dispatch box still sat untouched where we had left it hours ago.
Mr. Huddlestone, in a long yellow dressing gown, took one end of the table, Clara the other; while Northmour and I faced each other from the sides. The lamp was brightly trimmed; the wine was good; the viands, although mostly cold, excellent of their sort. We seemed to have agreed tacitly; all reference to the impending catastrophe was carefully avoided; and, considering our tragic circumstances, we made a merrier party than could have been expected. From time to time, it is true, Northmour or I would rise from table and make a round of the defenses; and, on each of these occasions, Mr. Huddlestone was recalled to a sense of his tragic predicament, glanced up with ghastly eyes, and bore for an instant on his countenance the stamp of terror. But he hastened to empty his glass, wiped his forehead with his handkerchief, and joined again in the conversation.
Mr. Huddlestone, wearing a long yellow bathrobe, took one end of the table, and Clara took the other; while Northmour and I faced each other from the sides. The lamp was brightly lit; the wine was good; the food, although mostly cold, was excellent for what it was. It felt like we had all agreed without saying anything; we carefully avoided any mention of the looming disaster; and, given our tragic situation, we seemed to be having a more cheerful gathering than expected. From time to time, it’s true, either Northmour or I would get up from the table to check on the defenses; and during each of these moments, Mr. Huddlestone would be reminded of his dire predicament, looking up with wide, frightened eyes, showing the mark of terror on his face for a brief moment. But he quickly downed his drink, wiped his forehead with his handkerchief, and rejoined the conversation.
I was astonished at the wit and information he displayed. Mr. Huddlestone's was certainly no ordinary character; he had read and observed for himself; his gifts were sound; and, though I could never have learned to love the man, I began to understand his success in business, and the great respect in which he had been held before his failure. He had, above all, the talent of society; and though I never heard him speak but on this one and most unfavorable occasion, I set him down among the most brilliant conversationalists I ever met.
I was amazed by the cleverness and knowledge he showed. Mr. Huddlestone was definitely not your average person; he had read widely and observed things for himself; his skills were solid; and even though I could never grow to like him, I started to understand his success in business and the high regard people had for him before his downfall. Above all, he had a knack for socializing; and even though I only heard him speak on this one really bad occasion, I considered him one of the most impressive conversationalists I had ever met.
He was relating with great gusto, and seemingly no feeling of shame, the maneuvers of a scoundrelly commission merchant whom he had known and studied in his youth, and we were all listening with an odd mixture of mirth and embarrassment, when our little party was brought abruptly to an end in the most startling manner.
He was enthusiastically sharing, with no apparent shame, the antics of a shady commission merchant he had known and studied in his youth, and we were all listening with a strange mix of amusement and awkwardness, when our small gathering was suddenly cut short in a shocking way.
A noise like that of a wet finger on the window pane interrupted Mr. Huddlestone's tale; and in an instant we were all four as white as paper, and sat tongue-tied and motionless round the table.
A sound like a wet finger on the window interrupted Mr. Huddlestone's story; and in an instant, all four of us were as white as a sheet, sitting speechless and frozen around the table.
"A snail," I said at last; for I had heard that these animals make a noise somewhat similar in character.
"A snail," I finally said, because I had heard that these creatures make a sound that's somewhat similar.
"Snail be d——d!" said Northmour. "Hush!"
"Snail be damned!" said Northmour. "Hush!"
The same sound was repeated twice at regular intervals; and then a formidable voice shouted through the shutters the Italian word, "Traditore!"
The same sound was repeated twice at regular intervals, and then a powerful voice shouted through the shutters the Italian word, "Traditore!"
Mr. Huddlestone threw his head in the air; his eyelids quivered; next moment he fell insensible below the table. Northmour and I had each run to the armory and seized a gun. Clara was on her feet with her hand at her throat.
Mr. Huddlestone tossed his head back; his eyelids twitched; the next moment, he collapsed unconscious under the table. Northmour and I each raced to the armory and grabbed a gun. Clara stood up with her hand at her throat.
So we stood waiting, for we thought the hour of attack was certainly come; but second passed after second, and all but the surf remained silent in the neighborhood of the pavilion.
So we stood there waiting, thinking the time to attack had definitely arrived; but seconds ticked by, and everything around the pavilion was quiet except for the sound of the waves.
"Quick," said Northmour; "upstairs with him before they come."
"Quick," said Northmour, "let's take him upstairs before they arrive."
VIII
Somehow or other, by hook and crook, and between the three of us, we got Bernard Huddlestone bundled upstairs and laid upon the bed in My Uncle's Room. During the whole process, which was rough enough, he gave no sign of consciousness, and he remained, as we had thrown him, without changing the position of a finger. His daughter opened his shirt and began to wet his head and bosom; while Northmour and I ran to the window. The weather continued clear; the moon, which was now about full, had risen and shed a very clear light upon the links; yet, strain our eyes as we might, we could distinguish nothing moving. A few dark spots, more or less, on the uneven expanse were not to be identified; they might be crouching men, they might be shadows; it was impossible to be sure.
Somehow, through various means, the three of us managed to get Bernard Huddlestone taken upstairs and laid on the bed in My Uncle's Room. Throughout the whole rough process, he showed no signs of consciousness and remained exactly as we had placed him, not moving a finger. His daughter opened his shirt and started to wet his head and chest, while Northmour and I ran to the window. The weather was still clear; the almost full moon had risen and cast a bright light over the links, but no matter how hard we strained our eyes, we couldn’t see anything moving. A few dark spots scattered across the uneven ground were unidentifiable; they could be crouching men or mere shadows; it was impossible to tell for sure.
"Thank God," said Northmour, "Aggie is not coming to-night."
"Thank God," said Northmour, "Aggie isn't coming tonight."
Aggie was the name of the old nurse; he had not thought of her until now; but that he should think of her at all was a trait that surprised me in the man.
Aggie was the name of the old nurse; he hadn’t thought of her until now; but that he would think of her at all surprised me about the man.
We were again reduced to waiting. Northmour went to the fireplace and spread his hands before the red embers, as if he were cold. I followed him mechanically with my eyes, and in so doing turned my back upon the window. At that moment a very faint report was audible from without, and a ball shivered a pane of glass, and buried itself in the shutter two inches from my head. I heard Clara scream; and though I whipped instantly out of range and into a corner, she was there, so to speak, before me, beseeching to know if I were hurt. I felt that I could stand to be shot at every day and all day long, with such remarks of solicitude for a reward; and I continued to reassure her, with, the tenderest caresses and in complete forgetfulness of our situation, till the voice of Northmour recalled me to myself.
We were once again stuck waiting. Northmour went to the fireplace and held his hands over the red embers, as if he were cold. I watched him automatically, turning my back on the window. At that moment, a faint sound came from outside, and a bullet shattered a pane of glass, embedding itself in the shutter just two inches from my head. I heard Clara scream, and even though I quickly moved out of the way and into a corner, she was right there, asking if I was hurt. I realized I could handle being shot at every day, all day long, if it came with her concerned remarks. I kept reassuring her with the gentlest gestures, completely forgetting about our dangerous situation, until Northmour's voice snapped me back to reality.
"An air gun," he said. "They wish to make no noise."
"An air gun," he said. "They want to keep it silent."
I put Clara aside, and looked at him. He was standing with his back to the fire and his hands clasped behind him; and I knew by the black look on his face, that passion was boiling within. I had seen just such a look before he attacked me, that March night, in the adjoining chamber; and, though I could make every allowance for his anger, I confess I trembled for the consequences. He gazed straight before him; but he could see us with the tail of his eye, and his temper kept rising like a gale of wind. With regular battle awaiting us outside, this prospect of an internecine strife within the walls began to daunt me.
I pushed Clara aside and looked at him. He was standing with his back to the fire and his hands clasped behind him; I could tell from the dark look on his face that he was seething with anger. I had seen that same look right before he attacked me that March night in the room next door; and although I understood why he was angry, I couldn’t help but feel a little scared about what might happen. He was staring straight ahead, but he could see us out of the corner of his eye, and his temper was escalating like a fierce wind. With a real battle already waiting for us outside, the idea of fighting among ourselves inside the walls started to intimidate me.
Suddenly, as I was thus closely watching his expression and prepared against the worst, I saw a change, a flash, a look of relief, upon his face. He took up the lamp which stood beside him on the table, and turned to us with an air of some excitement.
Suddenly, as I was watching his expression closely and bracing for the worst, I noticed a change, a flash, a look of relief on his face. He picked up the lamp that was sitting next to him on the table and turned to us with a sense of excitement.
"There is one point that we must know," said he. "Are they going to butcher the lot of us, or only Huddlestone? Did they take you for him, or fire at you for your own beaux yeux?"
"There’s one thing we need to know," he said. "Are they going to kill all of us, or just Huddlestone? Did they mistake you for him, or shoot at you for your pretty eyes?"
"They took me for him, for certain," I replied. "I am near as tall, and my head is fair."
"They definitely mistook me for him," I replied. "I'm almost as tall, and I have light hair."
"I am going to make sure," returned Northmour; and he stepped up to the window, holding the lamp above his head, and stood there, quietly affronting death, for half a minute.
"I’m going to make sure," Northmour replied. He walked over to the window, holding the lamp above his head, and stood there, calmly facing death for half a minute.
Clara sought to rush forward and pull him from the place of danger; but I had the pardonable selfishness to hold her back by force.
Clara tried to run forward and pull him out of danger, but I had the understandable selfishness to physically stop her.
"Yes," said Northmour, turning coolly from the window, "it's only Huddlestone they want."
"Yeah," said Northmour, turning casually away from the window, "they just want Huddlestone."
"Oh, Mr. Northmour!" cried Clara; but found no more to add; the temerity she had just witnessed seeming beyond, the reach of words.
"Oh, Mr. Northmour!" Clara exclaimed; but she had nothing more to say; the boldness she had just seen felt beyond what words could express.
He, on his part, looked at me, cocking his head, with a fire of triumph in his eyes; and I understood at once that he had thus hazarded his life, merely to attract Clara's notice, and depose me from my position as the hero of the hour. He snapped his fingers.
He looked at me, tilting his head, with a gleam of triumph in his eyes; and I instantly realized that he had risked his life just to grab Clara's attention and take my place as the hero of the moment. He snapped his fingers.
"The fire is only beginning," said he. "When they warm up to their work, they won't be so particular."
"The fire is just getting started," he said. "Once they get into it, they won't be so picky."
A voice was now heard hailing us from the entrance. From the window we could see the figure of a man in the moonlight; he stood motionless, his face uplifted to ours, and a rag of something white on his extended arm; and as we looked right down upon him, though he was a good many yards distant on the links, we could see the moonlight glitter on his eyes.
A voice called out to us from the entrance. From the window, we could see a man’s silhouette in the moonlight; he stood still, his face tilted up toward us, with a piece of white fabric on his outstretched arm. Even though he was quite a distance away on the links, we could see the moonlight glimmering in his eyes.
He opened his lips again, and spoke for some minutes on end, in a key so loud that he might have been heard in every corner of the pavilion, and as far away as the borders of the wood. It was the same voice that had already shouted, "Traditore!" through the shutters of the dining-room; this time it made a complete and clear statement. If the traitor "Oddlestone" were given up, all others should be spared; if not, no one should escape to tell the tale.
He opened his mouth again and spoke for several minutes in a voice so loud that he could have been heard in every corner of the pavilion and even as far away as the edge of the woods. It was the same voice that had previously shouted, "Traditore!" through the shutters of the dining room; this time, he made a complete and clear statement. If the traitor "Oddlestone" was turned over, everyone else would be spared; if not, no one would escape to tell the story.
"Well, Huddlestone, what do you say to that?" asked Northmour, turning to the bed.
"Well, Huddlestone, what do you think about that?" asked Northmour, turning to the bed.
Up to that moment the banker had given no sign of life, and I, at least, had supposed him to be still lying in a faint; but he replied at once, and in such tones as I have never heard elsewhere, save from a delirious patient, adjured and besought us not to desert him. It was the most hideous and abject performance that my imagination can conceive.
Up to that point, the banker hadn’t shown any signs of life, and I, at least, thought he was still unconscious; but he responded right away, and in a way I’ve never heard before, except from someone in a fevered state, pleading with us not to abandon him. It was the most disgusting and humiliating scene that my imagination can come up with.
"Enough," cried Northmour; and then he threw open the window, leaned out into the night, and in a tone of exultation, and with a total forgetfulness of what was due to the presence of a lady, poured out upon the ambassador a string of the most abominable raillery both in English and Italian, and bade him be gone where he had come from. I believe that nothing so delighted Northmour at that moment as the thought that we must all infallibly perish before the night was out.
"Enough," shouted Northmour; then he threw open the window, leaned out into the night, and in a triumphant tone, completely forgetting that a lady was present, unleashed a torrent of the most outrageous mockery in both English and Italian, telling the ambassador to go back to where he came from. I think nothing pleased Northmour more at that moment than the idea that we would all surely perish before the night was over.
Meantime, the Italian put his flag of truce into his pocket, and disappeared, at a leisurely pace, among the sand hills.
Meantime, the Italian put his flag of truce in his pocket and walked away casually among the sand hills.
"They make honorable war," said Northmour. "They are all gentlemen and soldiers. For the credit of the thing, I wish we could change sides—you and I, Frank, and you, too, missy, my darling—and leave that being on the bed to some one else. Tut! Don't look shocked! We are all going post to what they call eternity, and may as well be above board while there's time. As far as I am concerned, if I could first strangle Huddlestone and then get Clara in my arms, I could die with some pride and satisfaction. And as it is, by God, I'll have a kiss!"
"They fight with honor," Northmour said. "They’re all gentlemen and soldiers. Just for the sake of it, I wish we could switch sides—you and I, Frank, and you too, my dear missy—and leave that thing on the bed to someone else. Come on! Don’t look so shocked! We’re all heading to what they call eternity anyway, so we might as well be honest while we can. As for me, if I could just strangle Huddlestone first and then hold Clara in my arms, I could die feeling some pride and satisfaction. And as it stands, by God, I’m getting a kiss!"
Before I could do anything to interfere, he had rudely embraced and repeatedly kissed the resisting girl. Next moment I had pulled him away with fury, and flung him heavily against the wall. He laughed loud and long, and I feared his wits had given way under the strain; for even in the best of days he had been a sparing and a quiet laugher.
Before I could do anything to stop him, he had aggressively hugged and kissed the struggling girl multiple times. The next moment, I yanked him away in anger and slammed him hard against the wall. He laughed loudly and for a long time, and I worried that he had lost his mind under the pressure; because even at his best, he was usually a quiet and infrequent laugher.
"Now, Frank," said he, when his mirth was somewhat appeased, "it's your turn. Here's my hand. Good-bye, farewell!" Then, seeing me stand rigid and indignant, and holding Clara to my side—"Man!" he broke out, "are you angry? Did you think we were going to die with all the airs and graces of society? I took a kiss; I'm glad I did it; and now you can take another if you like, and square accounts."
"Now, Frank," he said, when his laughter had died down a bit, "it's your turn. Here’s my hand. Goodbye, farewell!" Then, noticing that I was standing still and upset, holding Clara by my side—"Man!" he exclaimed, "are you angry? Did you think we were going to die with all the pretensions of society? I took a kiss; I’m glad I did it; and now you can take another if you want, and settle the score."
I turned from him with a feeling of contempt which I did not seek to dissemble.
I turned away from him with a feeling of contempt that I didn't try to hide.
"As you please," said he. "You've been a prig in life; a prig you'll die."
"As you wish," he said. "You've been a goody-two-shoes in life, and that's how you'll go out."
And with that he sat down in a chair, a rifle over his knee, and amused himself with snapping the lock; but I could see that his ebullition of light spirits (the only one I ever knew him to display) had already come to an end, and was succeeded by a sullen, scowling humor.
And with that, he sat down in a chair, a rifle resting on his knee, and entertained himself by snapping the lock. But I could tell that his brief moment of lightheartedness (the only time I had ever seen him show it) had already faded, replaced by a gloomy, sulking mood.
All this time our assailants might have been entering the house, and we been none the wiser; we had in truth almost forgotten the danger that so imminently overhung our days. But just then Mr. Huddlestone uttered a cry, and leaped from the bed.
All this time, our attackers could have been entering the house, and we wouldn't have known; we had truly almost forgotten about the danger that loomed over us. But just then, Mr. Huddlestone let out a shout and jumped out of bed.
I asked him what was wrong.
I asked him what was up.
"Fire!" he cried. "They have set the house on fire!"
"Fire!" he shouted. "They’ve set the house on fire!"
Northmour was on his feet in an instant, and he and I ran through the door of communication with the study. The room was illuminated by a red and angry light. Almost at the moment of our entrance, a tower of flame arose in front of the window, and, with a tingling report, a pane fell inward on the carpet. They had set fire to the lean-to outhouse, where Northmour used to nurse his negatives.
Northmour jumped up immediately, and we rushed through the door that connected to the study. The room was lit by a harsh, red light. Just as we entered, a burst of flames shot up in front of the window, and with a loud bang, a pane of glass fell inward onto the carpet. They had set fire to the small outhouse, where Northmour used to develop his negatives.
"Hot work," said Northmour. "Let us try in your old room."
"Hot work," Northmour said. "Let's try your old room."
We ran thither in a breath, threw up the casement, and looked forth. Along the whole back wall of the pavilion piles of fuel had been arranged and kindled; and it is probable they had been drenched with mineral oil, for, in spite of the morning's rain, they all burned bravely. The fire had taken a firm hold already on the outhouse, which blazed higher and higher every moment; the back door was in the center of a red-hot bonfire; the eaves we could see, as we looked upward, were already smoldering, for the roof overhung, and was supported by considerable beams of wood. At the same time, hot, pungent, and choking volumes of smoke began to fill the house. There was not a human being to be seen to right or left.
We ran over there quickly, threw open the window, and looked outside. Along the entire back wall of the pavilion, piles of fuel had been stacked and lit; they were probably soaked in mineral oil because, despite the morning's rain, they were all burning fiercely. The fire had already taken a strong hold on the outhouse, which was blazing higher and higher with each passing moment; the back door was surrounded by a raging bonfire; the eaves we could see when we looked up were already smoldering since the roof overhung and was held up by large wooden beams. Meanwhile, hot, acrid, and choking clouds of smoke began to fill the house. There wasn't a single person in sight to the right or left.
"Ah, well!" said Northmour, "here's the end, thank God!"
"Ah, well!" said Northmour, "here's the end, thank God!"
And we returned to My Uncle's Room. Mr. Huddlestone was putting on his boots, still violently trembling, but with an air of determination such as I had not hitherto observed. Clara stood close by him, with her cloak in both hands ready to throw about her shoulders, and a strange look in her eyes, as if she were half hopeful, half doubtful of her father.
And we went back to my uncle's room. Mr. Huddlestone was putting on his boots, still shaking intensely, but with a level of determination I hadn't seen before. Clara was standing nearby, holding her cloak with both hands, ready to throw it over her shoulders, and there was a strange look in her eyes, as if she were feeling both hopeful and doubtful about her father.
"Well, boys and girls," said Northmour, "how about a sally? The oven is heating; it is not good to stay here and be baked; and, for my part, I want to come to my hands with them, and be done."
"Well, everyone," said Northmour, "what do you think about a little adventure? The oven is heating; it’s not good to just sit here and get burned; and, as for me, I want to take them on and finish this."
"There's nothing else left," I replied.
"There's nothing else left," I said.
And both Clara and Mr. Huddlestone, though with a very different intonation, added, "Nothing."
And both Clara and Mr. Huddlestone, although with very different tones, added, "Nothing."
As we went downstairs the heat was excessive, and the roaring of the fire filled our ears; and we had scarce reached the passage before the stairs window fell in, a branch of flame shot brandishing through the aperture, and the interior of the pavilion became lighted up with that dreadful and fluctuating glare. At the same moment we heard the fall of something heavy and inelastic in the upper story. The whole pavilion, it was plain, had gone alight like a box of matches, and now not only flamed sky high to land and sea, but threatened with every moment to crumble and fall in about our ears.
As we went downstairs, the heat was intense, and the sound of the fire roared in our ears; we had barely reached the hallway when the window on the stairs shattered, a burst of flames shot out through the opening, and the inside of the pavilion lit up with that horrifying and flickering light. At the same moment, we heard something heavy fall in the upper floor. It was clear that the whole pavilion had caught fire like a box of matches, and it not only blazed high into the sky and out to sea but also threatened to collapse around us at any moment.
Northmour and I cocked our revolvers. Mr. Huddlestone, who had already refused a firearm, put us behind him with a manner of command.
Northmour and I cocked our handguns. Mr. Huddlestone, who had already turned down a weapon, positioned himself in front of us with an authoritative demeanor.
"Let Clara open the door," said he. "So, if they fire a volley, she will be protected. And in the meantime stand behind me. I am the scapegoat; my sins have found me out."
"Let Clara open the door," he said. "That way, if they shoot a volley, she’ll be safe. And for now, stay behind me. I’m the one taking the blame; my sins have caught up with me."
I heard him, as I stood breathless by his shoulder, with my pistol ready, pattering off prayers in a tremulous, rapid whisper; and, I confess, horrid as the thought may seem, I despised him for thinking of supplications in a moment so critical and thrilling. In the meantime, Clara, who was dead white but still possessed her faculties, had displaced the barricade from the front door. Another moment, and she had pulled it open. Firelight and moonlight illuminated the links with confused and changeful luster, and far away against the sky we could see a long trail of glowing smoke.
I heard him, as I stood breathless by his side, with my gun ready, muttering prayers in a shaky, quick whisper; and I have to admit, as awful as it might sound, I looked down on him for thinking about praying at such a critical and intense moment. Meanwhile, Clara, who was pale as a ghost but still aware, had moved the barricade from the front door. In just a moment, she had yanked it open. Firelight and moonlight lit up the links with a confused and shifting brightness, and far in the distance against the sky, we could see a long trail of glowing smoke.
Mr. Huddlestone, filled for the moment with a strength greater than his own, struck Northmour and myself a back-hander in the chest; and while we were thus for the moment incapacitated from action, lifting his arms above his head like one about to dive, he ran straight forward out of the pavilion.
Mr. Huddlestone, momentarily fueled by a strength beyond his own, hit Northmour and me with a backhand to the chest; and while we were briefly unable to act, lifting his arms above his head like someone about to dive, he rushed straight out of the pavilion.
"Here am I!" he cried—"Huddlestone! Kill me, and spare the others!"
"Here I am!" he shouted—"Huddlestone! Kill me, and let the others go!"
His sudden appearance daunted, I suppose, our hidden enemies; for Northmour and I had time to recover, to seize Clara between us, one by each arm, and to rush forth to his assistance, ere anything further had taken place. But scarce had we passed the threshold when there came near a dozen reports and flashes from every direction among the hollows of the links. Mr. Huddlestone staggered, uttered a weird and freezing cry, threw up his arms over his head, and fell backward on the turf.
His sudden appearance startled our hidden enemies, I guess; because Northmour and I had time to recover, grab Clara by each arm, and rush out to help him before anything else happened. But barely had we stepped outside when we heard almost a dozen gunshots and saw flashes from all around in the dips of the links. Mr. Huddlestone stumbled, let out a chilling cry, raised his arms over his head, and fell back onto the grass.
"Traditore! Traditore!" cried the invisible avengers.
"Traitor! Traitor!" cried the invisible avengers.
And just then a part of the roof of the pavilion fell in, so rapid was the progress of the fire. A loud, vague, and horrible noise accompanied the collapse, and a vast volume of flame went soaring up to heaven. It must have been visible at that moment from twenty miles out at sea, from the shore at Graden Wester, and far inland from the peak of Graystiel, the most eastern summit of the Caulder Hills. Bernard Huddlestone, although God knows what were his obsequies, had a fine pyre at the moment of his death.
And just then part of the pavilion's roof collapsed, so quickly was the fire spreading. A loud, vague, and terrifying noise came with the collapse, and a massive plume of flames shot up to the sky. It must have been visible at that moment from twenty miles out at sea, from the shore at Graden Wester, and far inland from the peak of Graystiel, the easternmost summit of the Caulder Hills. Bernard Huddlestone, though no one knows what his funeral was like, had a grand pyre at the moment of his death.
IX
I should have the greatest difficulty to tell you what followed next after this tragic circumstance. It is all to me, as I look back upon it, mixed, strenuous, and ineffectual, like the struggles of a sleeper in a nightmare. Clara, I remember, uttered a broken sigh and would have fallen forward to earth, had not Northmour and I supported her insensible body. I do not think we were attacked: I do not remember even to have seen an assailant; and I believe we deserted Mr. Huddlestone without a glance. I only remember running like a man in a panic, now carrying Clara altogether in my own arms, now sharing her weight with Northmour, now scuffling confusedly for the possession of that dear burden. Why we should have made for my camp in the Hemlock Den, or how we reached it, are points lost forever to my recollection. The first moment at which I became definitely sure, Clara had been suffered to fall against the outside of my little tent, Northmour and I were tumbling together on the ground, and he, with contained ferocity, was striking for my head with the butt of his revolver. He had already twice wounded me on the scalp; and it is to the consequent loss of blood that I am tempted to attribute the sudden clearness of my mind.
I find it really hard to describe what happened next after that tragic event. Looking back, it all feels mixed up, intense, and pointless, like someone struggling through a nightmare. Clara let out a soft sigh and would have collapsed to the ground if Northmour and I hadn’t held her unconscious body up. I don’t think we were attacked; I don’t even remember seeing anyone trying to hurt us, and I believe we left Mr. Huddlestone behind without a second glance. I only remember running in a panic, sometimes carrying Clara entirely in my arms, other times sharing her weight with Northmour, and awkwardly fighting over who would hold her. I can’t remember why we headed to my camp in the Hemlock Den or how we got there; those details are lost to me forever. The first moment I clearly realized Clara had fallen against the side of my little tent, Northmour and I were rolling around on the ground, and he was fiercely trying to hit me in the head with the butt of his revolver. He had already cut my scalp twice, and I think the blood loss is what made my thoughts suddenly clear.
I caught him by the wrist.
I grabbed him by the wrist.
"Northmour," I remember saying, "you can kill me afterwards. Let us first attend to Clara."
"Northmour," I remember saying, "you can kill me later. Let's focus on Clara first."
He was at that moment uppermost. Scarcely had the words passed my lips, when he had leaped to his feet and ran toward the tent; and the next moment, he was straining Clara to his heart and covering her unconscious hands and face with his caresses.
He was at that moment at his peak. Barely had the words left my mouth when he jumped to his feet and ran toward the tent; the next moment, he was holding Clara tightly and showering her unconscious hands and face with affection.
"Shame!" I cried. "Shame to you, Northmour!"
"Shame!" I yelled. "Shame on you, Northmour!"
And, giddy though I still was, I struck him repeatedly upon the head and shoulders.
And, even though I was still feeling lightheaded, I hit him multiple times on the head and shoulders.
He relinquished his grasp, and faced me in the broken moonlight.
He let go of my hand and turned to me in the dim moonlight.
"I had you under, and I let you go," said he; "and now you strike me! Coward!"
"I had you down, and I let you go," he said. "And now you hit me! Coward!"
"You are the coward," I retorted. "Did she wish your kisses while she was still sensible of what you wanted? Not she! And now she may be dying; and you waste this precious time, and abuse her helplessness. Stand aside, and let me help her."
"You’re the coward," I shot back. "Did she want your kisses when she was still aware of what you wanted? No way! And now she might be dying; and you’re wasting this precious time and taking advantage of her weakness. Step aside, and let me help her."
He confronted me for a moment, white and menacing; then suddenly he stepped aside.
He faced me for a moment, pale and intimidating; then suddenly he moved aside.
"Help her then," said he.
"Help her then," he said.
I threw myself on my knees beside her, and loosened, as well as I was able, her dress and corset; but while I was thus engaged, a grasp descended on my shoulder.
I dropped to my knees beside her and tried to loosen her dress and corset as best as I could; but while I was doing that, a hand gripped my shoulder.
"Keep your hands off her," said Northmour, fiercely. "Do you think I have no blood in my veins?"
"Keep your hands off her," Northmour said fiercely. "Do you think I have no blood in my veins?"
"Northmour," I cried, "if you will neither help her yourself, nor let me do so, do you know that I shall have to kill you?"
"Northmour," I shouted, "if you won’t help her yourself and you won’t let me help her, do you realize that I’ll have to kill you?"
"That is better!" he cried. "Let her die also, where's the harm? Step aside from that girl! and stand up to fight."
"That's better!" he shouted. "Let her die too, what's the harm? Get away from that girl! and get ready to fight."
"You will observe," said I, half rising, "that I have not kissed her yet."
"You'll notice," I said, sitting up a bit, "that I haven't kissed her yet."
"I dare you to," he cried.
"I challenge you to," he shouted.
I do not know what possessed me; it was one of the things I am most ashamed of in my life, though, as my wife used to say, I knew that my kisses would be always welcome were she dead or living; down I fell again upon my knees, parted the hair from her forehead, and, with the dearest respect, laid my lips for a moment on that cold brow. It was such a caress as a father might have given; it was such a one as was not unbecoming from a man soon to die to a woman already dead.
I don't know what got into me; it's one of the things I'm most ashamed of in my life. Although, as my wife used to say, I knew my kisses would always be welcome whether she was alive or dead. So, I fell to my knees again, brushed the hair from her forehead, and, with the deepest respect, pressed my lips briefly to that cold brow. It was a tenderness like a father might show; it was something that wasn't inappropriate for a man about to die to show to a woman who was already gone.
"And now," said I, "I am at your service, Mr. Northmour."
"And now," I said, "I'm at your service, Mr. Northmour."
But I saw, to my surprise, that he had turned his back upon me.
But I was surprised to see that he had turned his back on me.
"Do you hear?" I asked.
"Do you hear me?" I asked.
"Yes," said he, "I do. If you wish to fight, I am ready. If not, go on and save Clara. All is one to me."
"Yeah," he said, "I do. If you want to fight, I'm ready. If not, go ahead and save Clara. It doesn’t matter to me."
I did not wait to be twice bidden; but, stooping again over Clara, continued my efforts to revive her. She still lay white and lifeless; I began to fear that her sweet spirit had indeed fled beyond recall, and horror and a sense of utter desolation seized upon my heart. I called her by name with the most endearing inflections; I chafed and beat her hands; now I laid her head low, now supported it against my knee; but all seemed to be in vain, and the lids still lay heavy on her eyes.
I didn’t wait to be asked again; instead, I bent over Clara once more and kept trying to bring her back. She still lay pale and lifeless, and I started to worry that her sweet spirit had really departed for good. A wave of horror and deep despair crashed over me. I called her name with the most loving tones, rubbed and pressed her hands; sometimes I lowered her head, and sometimes I supported it on my knee, but nothing worked, and her eyelids remained heavy.
"Northmour," I said, "there is my hat. For God's sake bring some water from the spring."
"Northmour," I said, "there's my hat. Please, bring some water from the spring."
Almost in a moment he was by my side with the water.
Almost instantly, he was by my side with the water.
"I have brought it in my own," he said. "You do not grudge me the privilege?"
"I brought it myself," he said. "You don’t mind me having that privilege, do you?"
"Northmour," I was beginning to say, as I laved her head and breast; but he interrupted me savagely.
"Northmour," I started to say while I caressed her head and chest; but he cut me off harshly.
"Oh, you hush up!" he said. "The best thing you can do is to say nothing."
"Oh, just be quiet!" he said. "The best thing you can do is say nothing."
I had certainly no desire to talk, my mind being swallowed up in concern for my dear love and her condition; so I continued in silence to do my best toward her recovery, and, when the hat was empty, returned it to him, with one word—"More." He had, perhaps, gone several times upon this errand, when Clara reopened her eyes.
I had no desire to talk, my mind completely consumed with worry for my dear love and her condition; so I stayed silent and did my best to help her recover, and when the hat was empty, I handed it back to him with just one word—"More." He had probably made this trip several times when Clara opened her eyes again.
"Now," said he, "since she is better, you can spare me, can you not? I wish you a good night, Mr. Cassilis."
"Now," he said, "since she's doing better, you can let me go, right? I wish you a good night, Mr. Cassilis."
And with that he was gone among the thicket. I made a fire, for I had now no fear of the Italians, who had even spared all the little possessions left in my encampment; and, broken as she was by the excitement and the hideous catastrophe of the evening, I managed, in one way or another—by persuasion, encouragement, warmth, and such simple remedies as I could lay my hand on—to bring her back to some composure of mind and strength of body.
And with that, he disappeared into the brush. I built a fire because I no longer feared the Italians, who had even left all the little belongings in my camp untouched. Despite being shaken by the excitement and the terrible tragedy of the night, I found a way—through talking, reassurance, warmth, and whatever simple remedies I could find—to help her regain some calm and strength.
Day had already come, when a sharp "Hist!" sounded from the thicket. I started from the ground; but the voice of Northmour was heard adding, in the most tranquil tones: "Come here, Cassilis, and alone; I want to show you something."
Day had already broken when a sharp "Hey!" came from the bushes. I jumped up from the ground, but Northmour's voice followed, calm and steady: "Come here, Cassilis, and come alone; I want to show you something."
I consulted Clara with my eyes, and, receiving her tacit permission, left her alone, and clambered out of the den. At some distance off I saw Northmour leaning against an elder; and, as soon as he perceived me, he began walking seaward. I had almost overtaken him as he reached the outskirts of the wood.
I looked at Clara, and, getting her silent approval, left her alone and climbed out of the hideout. A little way off, I saw Northmour leaning against an elder tree, and as soon as he spotted me, he started walking toward the sea. I was almost catching up to him when he reached the edge of the woods.
"Look," said he, pausing.
"Look," he said, pausing.
A couple of steps more brought me out of the foliage. The light of the morning lay cold and clear over that well-known scene. The pavilion was but a blackened wreck; the roof had fallen in, one of the gables had fallen out; and, far and near, the face of the links was cicatrized with little patches of burned furze. Thick smoke still went straight upward in the windless air of the morning, and a great pile of ardent cinders filled the bare walls of the house, like coals in an open grate. Close by the islet a schooner yacht lay to, and a well-manned boat was pulling vigorously for the shore.
A few more steps brought me out of the trees. The morning light was cold and clear over that familiar scene. The pavilion was just a charred wreck; the roof had caved in, one of the gables was missing, and all around, the landscape was scarred with small patches of burned gorse. Thick smoke still rose straight up in the still morning air, and a huge pile of hot ash filled the empty walls of the house, like coals in an open fireplace. Close to the islet, a schooner yacht was anchored, and a well-manned boat was rowing hard toward the shore.
"The 'Red Earl'!" I cried. "The 'Red Earl' twelve hours too late!"
"The 'Red Earl'!" I exclaimed. "The 'Red Earl' is twelve hours late!"
"Feel in your pocket, Frank. Are you armed?" asked Northmour.
"Check your pocket, Frank. Do you have a weapon?" asked Northmour.
I obeyed him, and I think I must have become deadly pale. My revolver had been taken from me.
I did what he said, and I think I went completely pale. They had taken my revolver away.
"You see, I have you in my power," he continued. "I disarmed you last night while you were nursing Clara; but this morning—here—take your pistol. No thanks!" he cried, holding up his hand. "I do not like them; that is the only way you can annoy me now."
"You see, I have you under my control," he continued. "I disarmed you last night while you were taking care of Clara; but this morning—here—take your gun. No thanks!" he exclaimed, raising his hand. "I don’t like them; that’s the only way you can bother me now."
He began to walk forward across the links to meet the boat, and I followed a step or two behind. In front of the pavilion I paused to see where Mr. Huddlestone had fallen; but there was no sign of him, nor so much as a trace of blood.
He started walking forward across the fairway to meet the boat, and I followed a step or two behind. In front of the pavilion, I paused to see where Mr. Huddlestone had fallen; but there was no sign of him, nor even a trace of blood.
"Graden Floe," said Northmour.
"Graden Floe," Northmour said.
He continued to advance till we had come to the head of the beach.
He kept moving forward until we reached the end of the beach.
"No farther, please," said he. "Would you like to take her to Graden House?"
"No further, please," he said. "Would you like to take her to Graden House?"
"Thank you," replied I; "I shall try to get her to the minister at Graden Wester."
"Thank you," I replied; "I'll try to get her to the minister at Graden Wester."
The prow of the boat here grated on the beach, and a sailor jumped ashore with a line in his hand.
The front of the boat scraped against the beach, and a sailor jumped onto the shore holding a rope.
"Wait a minute, lads!" cried Northmour; and then lower and to my private ear, "You had better say nothing of all this to her," he added.
"Hold on a second, guys!" shouted Northmour; and then in a lower voice just for me, he added, "You should probably keep all of this to yourself."
"On the contrary!" I broke out, "she shall know everything that I can tell."
"On the contrary!" I responded, "she will know everything I can share."
"You do not understand," he returned, with an air of great dignity. "It will be nothing to her; she expects it of me. Good-by!" he added, with a nod.
"You don't understand," he replied, with a sense of great dignity. "It won't mean anything to her; she expects it from me. Goodbye!" he added, with a nod.
I offered him my hand.
I reached out my hand.
"Excuse me," said he. "It's small, I know; but I can't push things quite so far as that. I don't wish any sentimental business, to sit by your hearth a white-haired wanderer, and all that. Quite the contrary: I hope to God I shall never again clap eyes on either one of you."
"Excuse me," he said. "It's small, I know; but I can't take things that far. I don't want any sentimental stuff, sitting by your fireplace like a gray-haired traveler, and all that. Quite the opposite: I hope to God I never have to see either of you again."
"Well, God bless you, Northmour!" I said heartily.
"Well, God bless you, Northmour!" I said warmly.
"Oh, yes," he returned.
"Oh, yes," he replied.
He walked down the beach; and the man who was ashore gave him an arm on board, and then shoved off and leaped into the bows himself. Northmour took the tiller; the boat rose to the waves, and the oars between the tholepins sounded crisp and measured in the morning air.
He strolled along the beach, and the guy on the shore helped him onto the boat, then jumped in the front himself. Northmour grabbed the tiller; the boat lifted with the waves, and the oars clicked steadily against the tholepins in the morning air.
They were not yet half way to the "Red Earl," and I was still watching their progress, when the sun rose out of the sea.
They weren't even halfway to the "Red Earl," and I was still watching them when the sun rose out of the sea.
One word more, and my story is done. Years after, Northmour was killed fighting under the colors of Garibaldi for the liberation of the Tyrol.
One more word, and my story is finished. Years later, Northmour was killed fighting for Garibaldi in the liberation of the Tyrol.
Wilkie Collins
The Dream Woman
A Mystery in Four Narratives
THE FIRST NARRATIVE
INTRODUCTORY STATEMENT OF THE FACTS BY PERCY FAIRBANK
I
"Hullo, there! Hostler! Hullo-o-o!"
"Hello there! Hostler! Helloooo!"
"My dear! why don't you look for the bell?"
"My dear! Why don’t you look for the bell?"
"I have looked—there is no bell."
"I checked—there's no bell."
"And nobody in the yard. How very extraordinary! Call again, dear."
"And there's no one in the yard. How strange! Call again, dear."
"Hostler! Hullo, there! Hostler-r-r!"
"Hey, stable worker! Hello there!"
My second call echoes through empty space, and rouses nobody—produces, in short, no visible result. I am at the end of my resources—I don't know what to say or what to do next. Here I stand in the solitary inn yard of a strange town, with two horses to hold, and a lady to take care of. By way of adding to my responsibilities, it so happens that one of the horses is dead lame, and that the lady is my wife.
My second shout echoes through the empty space and gets no response—essentially, it has no visible effect. I'm out of options—I have no idea what to say or do next. Here I am in the deserted inn yard of an unfamiliar town, holding two horses and taking care of a lady. To make things more complicated, one of the horses is seriously limping, and that lady is my wife.
Who am I?—you will ask.
Who am I?—you might ask.
There is plenty of time to answer the question. Nothing happens; and nobody appears to receive us. Let me introduce myself and my wife.
There’s plenty of time to answer the question. Nothing happens, and nobody seems to welcome us. Let me introduce myself and my wife.
I am Percy Fairbank—English gentleman—age (let us say) forty—no profession—moderate politics—middle height—fair complexion—easy character—plenty of money.
I’m Percy Fairbank—an English gentleman—let's say I'm around forty—no job—moderate political views—average height—light complexion—easygoing personality—lots of money.
My wife is a French lady. She was Mademoiselle Clotilde Delorge—when I was first presented to her at her father's house in France. I fell in love with her—I really don't know why. It might have been because I was perfectly idle, and had nothing else to do at the time. Or it might have been because all my friends said she was the very last woman whom I ought to think of marrying. On the surface, I must own, there is nothing in common between Mrs. Fairbank and me. She is tall; she is dark; she is nervous, excitable, romantic; in all her opinions she proceeds to extremes. What could such a woman see in me? what could I see in her? I know no more than you do. In some mysterious manner we exactly suit each other. We have been man and wife for ten years, and our only regret is, that we have no children. I don't know what you may think; I call that—upon the whole—a happy marriage.
My wife is French. She was Mademoiselle Clotilde Delorge when I first met her at her father's house in France. I fell in love with her—I honestly don’t know why. It might have been because I was completely idle and had nothing else going on at the time. Or it might have been because all my friends said she was the last woman I should even consider marrying. On the surface, I admit, there’s nothing in common between Mrs. Fairbank and me. She’s tall; she’s dark; she’s nervous, excitable, and romantic; her opinions are always extreme. What could such a woman see in me? What could I see in her? I know no more than you do. In some mysterious way, we fit together perfectly. We've been married for ten years, and our only regret is that we don’t have any kids. I don't know what you might think, but I call that—overall—a happy marriage.
So much for ourselves. The next question is—what has brought us into the inn yard? and why am I obliged to turn groom, and hold the horses?
So much for us. The next question is—what brought us to the inn yard? And why do I have to act as the groom and hold the horses?
We live for the most part in France—at the country house in which my wife and I first met. Occasionally, by way of variety, we pay visits to my friends in England. We are paying one of those visits now. Our host is an old college friend of mine, possessed of a fine estate in Somersetshire; and we have arrived at his house—called Farleigh Hall—toward the close of the hunting season.
We mostly live in France—at the country house where my wife and I first met. Sometimes, for a change, we visit my friends in England. We're on one of those visits right now. Our host is an old college buddy of mine who has a beautiful estate in Somersetshire; we arrived at his house—called Farleigh Hall—near the end of the hunting season.
On the day of which I am now writing—destined to be a memorable day in our calendar—the hounds meet at Farleigh Hall. Mrs. Fairbank and I are mounted on two of the best horses in my friend's stables. We are quite unworthy of that distinction; for we know nothing and care nothing about hunting. On the other hand, we delight in riding, and we enjoy the breezy Spring morning and the fair and fertile English landscape surrounding us on every side. While the hunt prospers, we follow the hunt. But when a check occurs—when time passes and patience is sorely tried; when the bewildered dogs run hither and thither, and strong language falls from the lips of exasperated sportsmen—we fail to take any further interest in the proceedings. We turn our horses' heads in the direction of a grassy lane, delightfully shaded by trees. We trot merrily along the lane, and find ourselves on an open common. We gallop across the common, and follow the windings of a second lane. We cross a brook, we pass through a village, we emerge into pastoral solitude among the hills. The horses toss their heads, and neigh to each other, and enjoy it as much as we do. The hunt is forgotten. We are as happy as a couple of children; we are actually singing a French song—when in one moment our merriment comes to an end. My wife's horse sets one of his forefeet on a loose stone, and stumbles. His rider's ready hand saves him from falling. But, at the first attempt he makes to go on, the sad truth shows itself—a tendon is strained; the horse is lame.
On the day I'm writing about—one that's going to be memorable in our calendar—the hounds gather at Farleigh Hall. Mrs. Fairbank and I are riding two of the best horses from my friend's stables. We're really not worthy of that title; we don't know anything or care about hunting. However, we love riding and we’re enjoying the breezy Spring morning and the beautiful, lush English landscape all around us. As long as the hunt is on, we follow along. But when there's a setback—when time drags on and patience wears thin; when the confused dogs run around aimlessly, and frustrated hunters start cursing—we lose interest. We turn our horses toward a grassy lane, pleasantly shaded by trees. We trot happily along the lane and find ourselves on an open common. We gallop across the common and follow the twists of a second lane. We cross a stream, pass through a village, and find peace in the hills. The horses toss their heads and neigh to each other, enjoying it just as much as we do. We forget about the hunt. We’re as happy as two children; we’re even singing a French song—when suddenly our fun comes to a halt. My wife's horse steps on a loose stone and stumbles. Her quick reflex saves him from falling. But the moment he tries to move on, the heartbreaking truth hits—he's strained a tendon; the horse is limping.
What is to be done? We are strangers in a lonely part of the country. Look where we may, we see no signs of a human habitation. There is nothing for it but to take the bridle road up the hill, and try what we can discover on the other side. I transfer the saddles, and mount my wife on my own horse. He is not used to carry a lady; he misses the familiar pressure of a man's legs on either side of him; he fidgets, and starts, and kicks up the dust. I follow on foot, at a respectful distance from his heels, leading the lame horse. Is there a more miserable object on the face of creation than a lame horse? I have seen lame men and lame dogs who were cheerful creatures; but I never yet saw a lame horse who didn't look heartbroken over his own misfortune.
What should we do? We’re outsiders in a remote area. No matter where we look, there are no signs of people nearby. The only option is to take the bridle path up the hill and see what we can find on the other side. I switch the saddles and put my wife on my horse. He’s not used to carrying a woman; he can’t understand the absence of a man’s legs beside him, so he fidgets, jumps, and kicks up dust. I walk behind at a safe distance, leading the lame horse. Is there a sadder sight in the world than a lame horse? I’ve seen cheerful lame men and dogs, but I’ve never seen a lame horse that didn’t seem heartbroken by its own situation.
For half an hour my wife capers and curvets sideways along the bridle road. I trudge on behind her; and the heartbroken horse halts behind me. Hard by the top of the hill, our melancholy procession passes a Somersetshire peasant at work in a field. I summon the man to approach us; and the man looks at me stolidly, from the middle of the field, without stirring a step. I ask at the top of my voice how far it is to Farleigh Hall. The Somersetshire peasant answers at the top of his voice:
For half an hour, my wife dances and skips sideways along the bridle path. I trudge behind her, and the sad horse stops behind me. Near the top of the hill, our gloomy procession passes a Somersetshire farmer working in a field. I call the man to come over; he looks at me blankly from the middle of the field without moving. I shout at the top of my lungs how far it is to Farleigh Hall. The Somersetshire farmer responds at the top of his voice:
"Vourteen mile. Gi' oi a drap o' zyder."
"Fourteen miles. Give me a drop of cider."
I translate (for my wife's benefit) from the Somersetshire language into the English language. We are fourteen miles from Farleigh Hall; and our friend in the field desires to be rewarded, for giving us that information, with a drop of cider. There is the peasant, painted by himself! Quite a bit of character, my dear! Quite a bit of character!
I translate (for my wife's benefit) from the Somerset dialect into English. We're fourteen miles from Farleigh Hall, and our friend in the field wants to be rewarded for sharing that info with a drop of cider. There’s the peasant, painted by himself! Quite a bit of character, my dear! Quite a bit of character!
Mrs. Fairbank doesn't view the study of agricultural human nature with my relish. Her fidgety horse will not allow her a moment's repose; she is beginning to lose her temper.
Mrs. Fairbank doesn't find studying human nature in agriculture as enjoyable as I do. Her restless horse won't give her a moment of peace; she's starting to lose her cool.
"We can't go fourteen miles in this way," she says. "Where is the nearest inn? Ask that brute in the field!"
"We can't travel fourteen miles like this," she says. "Where's the nearest inn? Ask that guy in the field!"
I take a shilling from my pocket and hold it up in the sun. The shilling exercises magnetic virtues. The shilling draws the peasant slowly toward me from the middle of the field. I inform him that we want to put up the horses and to hire a carriage to take us back to Farleigh Hall. Where can we do that? The peasant answers (with his eye on the shilling):
I take a shilling from my pocket and hold it up in the sun. The shilling has a magnetic effect. It slowly pulls the peasant toward me from the middle of the field. I tell him that we want to put up the horses and hire a carriage to take us back to Farleigh Hall. Where can we do that? The peasant replies (with his eye on the shilling):
"At Oonderbridge, to be zure." (At Underbridge, to be sure.)
"At Underbridge, for sure."
"Is it far to Underbridge?"
"Is Underbridge far away?"
The peasant repeats, "Var to Oonderbridge?"—and laughs at the question. "Hoo-hoo-hoo!" (Underbridge is evidently close by—if we could only find it.) "Will you show us the way, my man?" "Will you gi' oi a drap of zyder?" I courteously bend my head, and point to the shilling. The agricultural intelligence exerts itself. The peasant joins our melancholy procession. My wife is a fine woman, but he never once looks at my wife—and, more extraordinary still, he never even looks at the horses. His eyes are with his mind—and his mind is on the shilling.
The peasant repeats, "Where's Underbridge?"—and laughs at the question. "Hoo-hoo-hoo!" (Underbridge must be nearby—if only we could find it.) "Can you show us the way, my friend?" "Will you give me a drop of cider?" I politely nod and point to the shilling. The rural intelligence kicks in. The peasant joins our sad little group. My wife is a lovely woman, but he never once looks at her—and what's even more surprising is that he doesn't even look at the horses. His eyes are focused on his thoughts—and his thoughts are on the shilling.
We reach the top of the hill—and, behold on the other side, nestling in a valley, the shrine of our pilgrimage, the town of Underbridge! Here our guide claims his shilling, and leaves us to find out the inn for ourselves. I am constitutionally a polite man. I say "Good morning" at parting. The guide looks at me with the shilling between his teeth to make sure that it is a good one. "Marnin!" he says savagely—and turns his back on us, as if we had offended him. A curious product, this, of the growth of civilization. If I didn't see a church spire at Underbridge, I might suppose that we had lost ourselves on a savage island.
We reach the top of the hill—and, look on the other side, nestled in a valley, is the shrine of our journey, the town of Underbridge! Here, our guide asks for his shilling and leaves us to find the inn on our own. I'm naturally a polite person. I say "Good morning" as we part ways. The guide looks at me with the shilling between his teeth to make sure it’s real. "Mornin!" he replies harshly—and turns his back on us, as if we’ve offended him. It’s a strange outcome of civilization's progress. If I didn't see a church steeple at Underbridge, I might think we had gotten lost on a deserted island.
II
Arriving at the town, we had no difficulty in finding the inn. The town is composed of one desolate street; and midway in that street stands the inn—an ancient stone building sadly out of repair. The painting on the sign-board is obliterated. The shutters over the long range of front windows are all closed. A cock and his hens are the only living creatures at the door. Plainly, this is one of the old inns of the stage-coach period, ruined by the railway. We pass through the open arched doorway, and find no one to welcome us. We advance into the stable yard behind; I assist my wife to dismount—and there we are in the position already disclosed to view at the opening of this narrative. No bell to ring. No human creature to answer when I call. I stand helpless, with the bridles of the horses in my hand. Mrs. Fairbank saunters gracefully down the length of the yard and does—what all women do, when they find themselves in a strange place. She opens every door as she passes it, and peeps in. On my side, I have just recovered my breath, I am on the point of shouting for the hostler for the third and last time, when I hear Mrs. Fairbank suddenly call to me:
Arriving in town, we easily found the inn. The town consists of one lonely street, and halfway down that street stands the inn—an old stone building that's clearly seen better days. The paint on the sign is faded. The shutters over the long row of front windows are all shut. A rooster and his hens are the only living things at the door. This is clearly one of the old inns from the stagecoach era, now left to decay by the railway. We walk through the open arched doorway and find no one to greet us. We head into the stable yard behind; I help my wife down, and there we are in the situation already described at the start of this story. No bell to ring. No one around to respond when I call. I stand there with the horses' reins in my hand, feeling helpless. Mrs. Fairbank strolls gracefully down the length of the yard and does what all women do when they find themselves in an unfamiliar place. She opens every door as she passes and peeks inside. On my end, I've just caught my breath; I’m about to shout for the hostler for the third and final time when I suddenly hear Mrs. Fairbank call out to me:
"Percy! come here!"
"Percy! Come here!"
Her voice is eager and agitated. She has opened a last door at the end of the yard, and has started back from some sight which has suddenly met her view. I hitch the horses' bridles on a rusty nail in the wall near me, and join my wife. She has turned pale, and catches me nervously by the arm.
Her voice is excited and restless. She has opened a final door at the back of the yard and has stepped back from something that has suddenly caught her eye. I hook the horses' reins onto a rusty nail in the wall next to me and go to my wife. She has gone pale and grabs my arm anxiously.
"Good heavens!" she cries; "look at that!"
"Wow!" she exclaims; "check that out!"
I look—and what do I see? I see a dingy little stable, containing two stalls. In one stall a horse is munching his corn. In the other a man is lying asleep on the litter.
I look—and what do I see? I see a shabby little stable, with two stalls. In one stall, a horse is eating his corn. In the other, a man is lying asleep on the straw.
A worn, withered, woebegone man in a hostler's dress. His hollow wrinkled cheeks, his scanty grizzled hair, his dry yellow skin, tell their own tale of past sorrow or suffering. There is an ominous frown on his eyebrows—there is a painful nervous contraction on the side of his mouth. I hear him breathing convulsively when I first look in; he shudders and sighs in his sleep. It is not a pleasant sight to see, and I turn round instinctively to the bright sunlight in the yard. My wife turns me back again in the direction of the stable door.
A tired, frail, miserable man in a stable worker’s clothes. His sunken, wrinkled cheeks, thin gray hair, and dry, yellow skin tell their own story of past pain or hardship. His eyebrows have a heavy frown—there’s a tense twitch at the corner of his mouth. I can hear him breathing shakily when I first look in; he shudders and sighs in his sleep. It’s not a pleasant sight, and I instinctively turn towards the bright sunlight in the yard. My wife pulls me back to face the stable door again.
"Wait!" she says. "Wait! he may do it again."
"Wait!" she says. "Wait! He might do it again."
"Do what again?"
"Do that again?"
"He was talking in his sleep, Percy, when I first looked in. He was dreaming some dreadful dream. Hush! he's beginning again."
"He was talking in his sleep, Percy, when I first looked in. He was having some terrible dream. Shh! He's starting again."
I look and listen. The man stirs on his miserable bed. The man speaks in a quick, fierce whisper through his clinched teeth. "Wake up! Wake up, there! Murder!"
I look and listen. The man shifts on his uncomfortable bed. He speaks in a fast, angry whisper through his gritted teeth. "Wake up! Wake up, over there! Murder!"
There is an interval of silence. He moves one lean arm slowly until it rests over his throat; he shudders, and turns on his straw; he raises his arm from his throat, and feebly stretches it out; his hand clutches at the straw on the side toward which he has turned; he seems to fancy that he is grasping at the edge of something. I see his lips begin to move again; I step softly into the stable; my wife follows me, with her hand fast clasped in mine. We both bend over him. He is talking once more in his sleep—strange talk, mad talk, this time.
There’s a pause of silence. He slowly moves one lean arm until it rests on his throat; he shudders, then turns onto his side. He raises his arm from his throat and weakly stretches it out; his hand grabs at the straw on the side he’s turned toward, as if he's trying to grasp the edge of something. I see his lips start moving again; I quietly step into the stable, my wife following closely with her hand tightly in mine. We both lean over him. He’s talking in his sleep again—odd talk, crazy talk, this time.
"Light gray eyes" (we hear him say), "and a droop in the left eyelid—flaxen hair, with a gold-yellow streak in it—all right, mother! afair, white arms with a down on them—little, lady's hand, with a reddish look round the fingernails—the knife—the cursed knife—first on one side, then on the other—aha, you she-devil! where is the knife?"
"Light gray eyes" (we hear him say), "and a droop in the left eyelid—blonde hair, with a gold-yellow streak in it—all right, mom! Smooth, white arms with some fuzz on them—small, lady's hand, with a reddish tint around the fingernails—the knife—the cursed knife—first on one side, then on the other—aha, you she-devil! where is the knife?"
He stops and grows restless on a sudden. We see him writhing on the straw. He throws up both his hands and gasps hysterically for breath. His eyes open suddenly. For a moment they look at nothing, with a vacant glitter in them—then they close again in deeper sleep. Is he dreaming still? Yes; but the dream seems to have taken a new course. When he speaks next, the tone is altered; the words are few—sadly and imploringly repeated over and over again. "Say you love me! I am so fond of you. Say you love me! say you love me!" He sinks into deeper and deeper sleep, faintly repeating those words. They die away on his lips. He speaks no more.
He suddenly stops and becomes restless. We see him squirming on the straw. He raises both hands and gasps for breath, almost in a panic. His eyes snap open. For a moment, he stares blankly with a vacant gleam in his eyes—then they close again as he drifts into a deeper sleep. Is he still dreaming? Yes; but the dream seems to have shifted. When he speaks again, his tone has changed; the words are few—sadly and pleadingly repeated over and over. "Say you love me! I care so much about you. Say you love me! say you love me!" He sinks into an even deeper sleep, softly repeating those words. They fade from his lips. He says no more.
By this time Mrs. Fairbank has got over her terror; she is devoured by curiosity now. The miserable creature on the straw has appealed to the imaginative side of her character. Her illimitable appetite for romance hungers and thirsts for more. She shakes me impatiently by the arm.
By now, Mrs. Fairbank has gotten past her fear; she's overwhelmed with curiosity instead. The unfortunate person on the straw has triggered her imagination. Her endless craving for romance is hungry for more. She shakes my arm impatiently.
"Do you hear? There is a woman at the bottom of it, Percy! There is love and murder in it, Percy! Where are the people of the inn? Go into the yard, and call to them again."
"Do you hear that? There’s a woman at the bottom of it, Percy! There’s love and murder in it, Percy! Where are the people from the inn? Go into the yard and call them again."
My wife belongs, on her mother's side, to the South of France. The South of France breeds fine women with hot tempers. I say no more. Married men will understand my position. Single men may need to be told that there are occasions when we must not only love and honor—we must also obey—our wives.
My wife is from the South of France on her mother's side. The South of France produces wonderful women with fiery tempers. I won't say more. Married men will get what I mean. Single men might need to be reminded that there are times when we must not only love and honor our wives—we also need to obey them.
I turn to the door to obey my wife, and find myself confronted by a stranger who has stolen on us unawares. The stranger is a tiny, sleepy, rosy old man, with a vacant pudding-face, and a shining bald head. He wears drab breeches and gaiters, and a respectable square-tailed ancient black coat. I feel instinctively that here is the landlord of the inn.
I turn to the door to obey my wife, and find myself faced with a stranger who has come upon us unexpectedly. The stranger is a small, sleepy, rosy old man with a blank pudding-like face and a shiny bald head. He’s dressed in dull trousers and gaiters, and an old-fashioned, respectable square-tailed black coat. I instinctively know that this is the landlord of the inn.
"Good morning, sir," says the rosy old man. "I'm a little hard of hearing. Was it you that was a-calling just now in the yard?"
"Good morning, sir," says the cheerful old man. "I'm a bit hard of hearing. Were you the one calling just now in the yard?"
Before I can answer, my wife interposes. She insists (in a shrill voice, adapted to our host's hardness of hearing) on knowing who that unfortunate person is sleeping on the straw. "Where does he come from? Why does he say such dreadful things in his sleep? Is he married or single? Did he ever fall in love with a murderess? What sort of a looking woman was she? Did she really stab him or not? In short, dear Mr. Landlord, tell us the whole story!"
Before I can respond, my wife jumps in. She insists (in a high-pitched voice, suited for our host's hearing issues) on knowing who that poor person is sleeping on the straw. "Where is he from? Why does he say such terrible things in his sleep? Is he married or single? Did he ever fall for a murderer? What did she look like? Did she really stab him or not? In short, dear Mr. Landlord, tell us the whole story!"
Dear Mr. Landlord waits drowsily until Mrs. Fairbank has quite done—then delivers himself of his reply as follows:
Dear Mr. Landlord waits drowsily until Mrs. Fairbank has finished—then gives his response as follows:
"His name's Francis Raven. He's an Independent Methodist. He was forty-five year old last birthday. And he's my hostler. That's his story."
"His name's Francis Raven. He's an Independent Methodist. He turned forty-five on his last birthday. And he's my hostler. That's his story."
My wife's hot southern temper finds its way to her foot, and expresses itself by a stamp on the stable yard.
My wife's fiery southern temper shows itself in her foot with a stamp in the stable yard.
The landlord turns himself sleepily round, and looks at the horses. "A fine pair of horses, them two in the yard. Do you want to put 'em in my stables?" I reply in the affirmative by a nod. The landlord, bent on making himself agreeable to my wife, addresses her once more. "I'm a-going to wake Francis Raven. He's an Independent Methodist. He was forty-five year old last birthday. And he's my hostler. That's his story."
The landlord turns over sleepily and looks at the horses. "Those two in the yard are a fine pair of horses. Do you want to put them in my stables?" I nod in agreement. The landlord, wanting to be friendly with my wife, speaks to her again. "I'm going to wake up Francis Raven. He's an Independent Methodist. He turned forty-five last birthday. And he's my stableman. That's his story."
Having issued this second edition of his interesting narrative, the landlord enters the stable. We follow him to see how he will wake Francis Raven, and what will happen upon that. The stable broom stands in a corner; the landlord takes it—advances toward the sleeping hostler—and coolly stirs the man up with a broom as if he was a wild beast in a cage. Francis Raven starts to his feet with a cry of terror—looks at us wildly, with a horrid glare of suspicion in his eyes—recovers himself the next moment—and suddenly changes into a decent, quiet, respectable serving-man.
Having released this second edition of his intriguing story, the landlord walks into the stable. We follow him to see how he will wake Francis Raven and what will happen next. The stable broom is in the corner; the landlord grabs it—approaches the sleeping hostler—and casually rouses the man with the broom as if he were a wild animal in a cage. Francis Raven jumps to his feet with a scream of fear—looks at us wildly, with a terrifying glare of suspicion in his eyes—catches himself the next moment—and suddenly transforms into a decent, quiet, respectable serving man.
"I beg your pardon, ma'am. I beg your pardon, sir."
"I’m sorry, ma'am. I’m sorry, sir."
The tone and manner in which he makes his apologies are both above his apparent station in life. I begin to catch the infection of Mrs. Fairbank's interest in this man. We both follow him out into the yard to see what he will do with the horses. The manner in which he lifts the injured leg of the lame horse tells me at once that he understands his business. Quickly and quietly, he leads the animal into an empty stable; quickly and quietly, he gets a bucket of hot water, and puts the lame horse's leg into it. "The warm water will reduce the swelling, sir. I will bandage the leg afterwards." All that he does is done intelligently; all that he says, he says to the purpose.
The way he apologizes is surprisingly refined for someone in his position. I start to feel Mrs. Fairbank's curiosity about this man. We both follow him outside to see what he’ll do with the horses. The way he carefully lifts the injured leg of the lame horse immediately shows me that he knows what he’s doing. He quickly and quietly leads the animal into an empty stable, grabs a bucket of hot water, and places the lame horse's leg into it. "The warm water will help reduce the swelling, sir. I'll bandage the leg afterward." Everything he does is thoughtful; everything he says is to the point.
Nothing wild, nothing strange about him now. Is this the same man whom we heard talking in his sleep?—the same man who woke with that cry of terror and that horrid suspicion in his eyes? I determine to try him with one or two questions.
Nothing unusual, nothing strange about him now. Is this the same guy we heard talking in his sleep?—the same guy who woke up with that scream of fear and that awful suspicion in his eyes? I decide to test him with a couple of questions.
III
"Not much to do here," I say to the hostler.
"Not much to do around here," I say to the innkeeper.
"Very little to do, sir," the hostler replies.
"Not much to do, sir," the hostler replies.
"Anybody staying in the house?"
"Is anyone home?"
"The house is quite empty, sir."
"The house is pretty empty, sir."
"I thought you were all dead. I could make nobody hear me."
"I thought you were all dead. I couldn't get anyone to hear me."
"The landlord is very deaf, sir, and the waiter is out on an errand."
"The landlord is really hard of hearing, sir, and the waiter is out running an errand."
"Yes; and you were fast asleep in the stable. Do you often take a nap in the daytime?"
"Yeah; and you were sound asleep in the stable. Do you usually nap during the day?"
The worn face of the hostler faintly flushes. His eyes look away from my eyes for the first time. Mrs. Fairbank furtively pinches my arm. Are we on the eve of a discovery at last? I repeat my question. The man has no civil alternative but to give me an answer. The answer is given in these words:
The tired face of the stable worker slightly reddens. His eyes shift away from mine for the first time. Mrs. Fairbank discreetly pinches my arm. Are we finally on the brink of a discovery? I repeat my question. The man has no polite choice but to respond. His answer comes in these words:
"I was tired out, sir. You wouldn't have found me asleep in the daytime but for that."
"I was completely worn out, sir. You wouldn't have caught me sleeping during the day if it weren't for that."
"Tired out, eh? You had been hard at work, I suppose?"
"Tired out, huh? You’ve been working really hard, I guess?"
"No, sir."
"No, thanks."
"What was it, then?"
"What was it?"
He hesitates again, and answers unwillingly, "I was up all night."
He hesitates again and reluctantly replies, "I was up all night."
"Up all night? Anything going on in the town?"
"Staying up late? Is there anything happening in town?"
"Nothing going on, sir."
"Nothing happening, sir."
"Anybody ill?"
"Is anyone sick?"
"Nobody ill, sir."
"No one is sick, sir."
That reply is the last. Try as I may, I can extract nothing more from him. He turns away and busies himself in attending to the horse's leg. I leave the stable to speak to the landlord about the carriage which is to take us back to Farleigh Hall. Mrs. Fairbank remains with the hostler, and favors me with a look at parting. The look says plainly, "I mean to find out why he was up all night. Leave him to Me."
That reply is final. No matter how much I try, I can’t get anything else from him. He turns away and keeps himself busy taking care of the horse's leg. I step out of the stable to talk to the landlord about the carriage that will take us back to Farleigh Hall. Mrs. Fairbank stays with the hostler and gives me a knowing look as we part. That look clearly says, "I intend to find out why he was up all night. Leave him to me."
The ordering of the carriage is easily accomplished. The inn possesses one horse and one chaise. The landlord has a story to tell of the horse, and a story to tell of the chaise. They resemble the story of Francis Raven—with this exception, that the horse and chaise belong to no religious persuasion. "The horse will be nine year old next birthday. I've had the shay for four-and-twenty year. Mr. Max, of Underbridge, he bred the horse; and Mr. Pooley, of Yeovil, he built the shay. It's my horse and my shay. And that's their story!" Having relieved his mind of these details, the landlord proceeds to put the harness on the horse. By way of assisting him, I drag the chaise into the yard. Just as our preparations are completed, Mrs. Fairbank appears. A moment or two later the hostler follows her out. He has bandaged the horse's leg, and is now ready to drive us to Farleigh Hall. I observe signs of agitation in his face and manner, which suggest that my wife has found her way into his confidence. I put the question to her privately in a corner of the yard. "Well? Have you found out why Francis Raven was up all night?"
The ordering of the carriage is a simple task. The inn has one horse and one carriage. The landlord has a story about the horse and another about the carriage. They remind me of the story of Francis Raven—except that the horse and carriage aren't tied to any religious background. "The horse will turn nine next birthday. I've had the carriage for twenty-four years. Mr. Max from Underbridge bred the horse, and Mr. Pooley from Yeovil built the carriage. It's my horse and my carriage. And that's their story!" After sharing these details, the landlord starts putting the harness on the horse. To help him, I pull the carriage into the yard. Just as we finish our preparations, Mrs. Fairbank comes out. A moment later, the stablehand follows her. He has wrapped the horse's leg and is now ready to take us to Farleigh Hall. I notice signs of anxiety on his face and in his manner, hinting that my wife has gained his trust. I ask her privately in a corner of the yard, "So? Did you find out why Francis Raven was up all night?"
Mrs. Fairbank has an eye to dramatic effect. Instead of answering plainly, Yes or No, she suspends the interest and excites the audience by putting a question on her side.
Mrs. Fairbank knows how to create a dramatic effect. Instead of just saying Yes or No, she builds suspense and grabs the audience's attention by turning it into a question directed at them.
"What is the day of the month, dear?"
"What’s today's date, babe?"
"The day of the month is the first of March."
"Today's date is March 1."
"The first of March, Percy, is Francis Raven's birthday."
"The first of March, Percy, is Francis Raven's birthday."
I try to look as if I was interested—and don't succeed.
I try to look like I'm interested—but I don’t manage it.
"Francis was born," Mrs. Fairbank proceeds gravely, "at two o'clock in the morning."
"Francis was born," Mrs. Fairbank says seriously, "at two o'clock in the morning."
I begin to wonder whether my wife's intellect is going the way of the landlord's intellect. "Is that all?" I ask.
I start to question if my wife's intelligence is declining like the landlord's. "Is that it?" I ask.
"It is not all," Mrs. Fairbank answers. "Francis Raven sits up on the morning of his birthday because he is afraid to go to bed."
"It is not all," Mrs. Fairbank replies. "Francis Raven gets up on the morning of his birthday because he's scared to go back to bed."
"And why is he afraid to go to bed?"
"And why is he scared to go to bed?"
"Because he is in peril of his life."
"Because he's in danger of losing his life."
"On his birthday?"
"On his birthday?"
"On his birthday. At two o'clock in the morning. As regularly as the birthday comes round."
"On his birthday. At two in the morning. Just like it happens every year."
There she stops. Has she discovered no more than that? No more thus far. I begin to feel really interested by this time. I ask eagerly what it means? Mrs. Fairbank points mysteriously to the chaise—with Francis Raven (hitherto our hostler, now our coachman) waiting for us to get in. The chaise has a seat for two in front, and a seat for one behind. My wife casts a warning look at me, and places herself on the seat in front.
There she stops. Is that all she’s found out? Not much more up to now. By this point, I’m starting to feel really curious. I ask eagerly what it means. Mrs. Fairbank points mysteriously to the carriage—with Francis Raven (who was our stableman and is now our coachman) waiting for us to get in. The carriage has a seat for two in the front and a seat for one in the back. My wife gives me a warning look and takes the seat in front.
The necessary consequence of this arrangement is that Mrs. Fairbank sits by the side of the driver during a journey of two hours and more. Need I state the result? It would be an insult to your intelligence to state the result. Let me offer you my place in the chaise. And let Francis Raven tell his terrible story in his own words.
The result of this setup is that Mrs. Fairbank sits next to the driver for a journey of two hours or more. Do I really need to explain what happens next? It would be insulting to your intelligence to spell it out. Let me offer you my seat in the carriage. And let Francis Raven share his awful story in his own words.
THE SECOND NARRATIVE
THE HOSTLER'S STORY.—TOLD BY HIMSELF
IV
It is now ten years ago since I got my first warning of the great trouble of my life in the Vision of a Dream.
It’s been ten years since I received my first warning about the major trouble in my life through the Vision of a Dream.
I shall be better able to tell you about it if you will please suppose yourselves to be drinking tea along with us in our little cottage in Cambridgeshire, ten years since.
I’ll be able to tell you more about it if you imagine you’re having tea with us in our cozy cottage in Cambridgeshire, ten years ago.
The time was the close of day, and there were three of us at the table, namely, my mother, myself, and my mother's sister, Mrs. Chance. These two were Scotchwomen by birth, and both were widows. There was no other resemblance between them that I can call to mind. My mother had lived all her life in England, and had no more of the Scotch brogue on her tongue than I have. My aunt Chance had never been out of Scotland until she came to keep house with my mother after her husband's death. And when she opened her lips you heard broad Scotch, I can tell you, if you ever heard it yet!
It was the end of the day, and there were three of us at the table: my mother, me, and my mother's sister, Mrs. Chance. Both of them were Scottish by birth and widowed. I can't think of any other similarities between them. My mother had lived her entire life in England and had no trace of a Scottish accent on her tongue, just like I don’t. Aunt Chance had never left Scotland until she came to live with my mother after her husband's death. And when she spoke, you definitely heard a strong Scottish accent, let me tell you!
As it fell out, there was a matter of some consequence in debate among us that evening. It was this: whether I should do well or not to take a long journey on foot the next morning.
As it turned out, there was an important issue being discussed among us that evening. It was this: whether I should take a long journey on foot the next morning.
Now the next morning happened to be the day before my birthday; and the purpose of the journey was to offer myself for a situation as groom at a great house in the neighboring county to ours. The place was reported as likely to fall vacant in about three weeks' time. I was as well fitted to fill it as any other man. In the prosperous days of our family, my father had been manager of a training stable, and he had kept me employed among the horses from my boyhood upward. Please to excuse my troubling you with these small matters. They all fit into my story farther on, as you will soon find out. My poor mother was dead against my leaving home on the morrow.
Now the next morning was the day before my birthday, and the purpose of my journey was to apply for a position as a groom at a large estate in the neighboring county. The job was expected to be available in about three weeks. I was as qualified for it as anyone else. In our family's better days, my father managed a training stable, and he had kept me working with horses since I was a kid. Please forgive me for bothering you with these details; they will all connect to my story later on, as you'll soon see. My poor mother was completely against my leaving home the next day.
"You can never walk all the way there and all the way back again by to-morrow night," she says. "The end of it will be that you will sleep away from home on your birthday. You have never done that yet, Francis, since your father's death, I don't like your doing it now. Wait a day longer, my son—only one day."
"You can’t make it there and back by tomorrow night," she says. "You'll end up sleeping away from home on your birthday. You’ve never done that since your dad passed away, and I really don’t want you to do it now. Just wait one more day, my son—just one day."
For my own part, I was weary of being idle, and I couldn't abide the notion of delay. Even one day might make all the difference. Some other man might take time by the forelock, and get the place.
For my part, I was tired of being inactive, and I couldn't stand the idea of waiting. Even one day could change everything. Someone else might seize the opportunity and get the position.
"Consider how long I have been out of work," I says, "and don't ask me to put off the journey. I won't fail you, mother. I'll get back by to-morrow night, if I have to pay my last sixpence for a lift in a cart."
"Think about how long I’ve been out of work," I say, "and don’t ask me to postpone the trip. I won’t let you down, Mom. I’ll be back by tomorrow night, even if I have to spend my last sixpence to hitch a ride in a cart."
My mother shook her head. "I don't like it, Francis—I don't like it!" There was no moving her from that view. We argued and argued, until we were both at a deadlock. It ended in our agreeing to refer the difference between us to my mother's sister, Mrs. Chance.
My mom shook her head. "I don't like it, Francis—I really don't like it!" There was no changing her mind. We went back and forth until we were both stuck. In the end, we decided to let my aunt, Mrs. Chance, settle our disagreement.
While we were trying hard to convince each other, my aunt Chance sat as dumb as a fish, stirring her tea and thinking her own thoughts. When we made our appeal to her, she seemed as it were to wake up. "Ye baith refer it to my puir judgment?" she says, in her broad Scotch. We both answered Yes. Upon that my aunt Chance first cleared the tea-table, and then pulled out from the pocket of her gown a pack of cards.
While we were really trying to convince each other, my aunt Chance sat there like a fish, stirring her tea and lost in her own thoughts. When we turned to her for help, she seemed to snap back to reality. "You both want me to make the call?" she said in her strong Scottish accent. We both replied Yes. Then my aunt Chance first cleared the tea table and pulled out a deck of cards from the pocket of her dress.
Don't run away, if you please, with the notion that this was done lightly, with a view to amuse my mother and me. My aunt Chance seriously believed that she could look into the future by telling fortunes on the cards. She did nothing herself without first consulting the cards. She could give no more serious proof of her interest in my welfare than the proof which she was offering now. I don't say it profanely; I only mention the fact—the cards had, in some incomprehensible way, got themselves jumbled up together with her religious convictions. You meet with people nowadays who believe in spirits working by way of tables and chairs. On the same principle (if there is any principle in it) my aunt Chance believed in Providence working by way of the cards.
Don't get the wrong idea that this was done lightly just to entertain my mother and me. My Aunt Chance genuinely thought she could see the future by reading tarot cards. She wouldn't do anything without first checking the cards. The fact that she was offering this now was her way of showing she cared about my well-being. I'm not saying this irreverently; I'm just stating a fact—the cards somehow got mixed up with her religious beliefs. You come across people today who think spirits communicate through tables and chairs. In the same way (if there's any logic to it), my Aunt Chance believed that Providence was working through the cards.
"Whether you are right, Francie, or your mither—whether ye will do weel or ill, the morrow, to go or stay—the cairds will tell it. We are a' in the hands of Proavidence. The cairds will tell it."
"Whether you are right, Francie, or your mother—whether you will do well or poorly tomorrow, to go or stay—the cards will reveal it. We're all in the hands of Providence. The cards will reveal it."
Hearing this, my mother turned her head aside, with something of a sour look in her face. Her sister's notions about the cards were little better than flat blasphemy to her mind. But she kept her opinion to herself. My aunt Chance, to own the truth, had inherited, through her late husband, a pension of thirty pounds a year. This was an important contribution to our housekeeping, and we poor relations were bound to treat her with a certain respect. As for myself, if my poor father never did anything else for me before he fell into difficulties, he gave me a good education, and raised me (thank God) above superstitions of all sorts. However, a very little amused me in those days; and I waited to have my fortune told, as patiently as if I believed in it too!
Hearing this, my mother turned her head away, looking a bit sour. Her sister's ideas about the cards seemed nothing short of blasphemy to her. But she kept her thoughts to herself. To be honest, my aunt Chance had inherited a pension of thirty pounds a year from her late husband. This was a significant help to our household, so we poor relatives had to treat her with a level of respect. As for me, if my poor father did nothing else for me before he fell into hard times, he gave me a good education and thankfully raised me above all kinds of superstitions. Still, very little entertained me during those days, and I waited to have my fortune told as patiently as if I believed in it too!
My aunt began her hocus pocus by throwing out all the cards in the pack under seven. She shuffled the rest with her left hand for luck; and then she gave them to me to cut. "Wi' yer left hand, Francie. Mind that! Pet your trust in Proavidence—but dinna forget that your luck's in yer left hand!" A long and roundabout shifting of the cards followed, reducing them in number until there were just fifteen of them left, laid out neatly before my aunt in a half circle. The card which happened to lie outermost, at the right-hand end of the circle, was, according to rule in such cases, the card chosen to represent Me. By way of being appropriate to my situation as a poor groom out of employment, the card was—the King of Diamonds.
My aunt started her magic trick by discarding all the cards in the deck that were under seven. She shuffled the rest with her left hand for good luck and then handed them to me to cut. "With your left hand, Francie. Remember that! Trust in Providence, but don’t forget that your luck is in your left hand!" There followed a lengthy and complicated process of shifting the cards around, reducing their number until only fifteen were left, arranged neatly in a half-circle in front of my aunt. The card that happened to be outermost, at the right end of the circle, was designated as the card to represent me. Fittingly for my situation as a jobless poor groom, the card was—the King of Diamonds.
"I tak' up the King o' Diamants," says my aunt. "I count seven cairds fra' richt to left; and I humbly ask a blessing on what follows." My aunt shut her eyes as if she was saying grace before meat, and held up to me the seventh card. I called the seventh card—the Queen of Spades. My aunt opened her eyes again in a hurry, and cast a sly look my way. "The Queen o' Spades means a dairk woman. Ye'll be thinking in secret, Francie, of a dairk woman?"
"I pick the King of Diamonds," my aunt says. "I count seven cards from right to left, and I humbly ask for a blessing on what comes next." My aunt closed her eyes like she was saying grace before a meal and held up the seventh card to me. I called the seventh card—the Queen of Spades. My aunt quickly opened her eyes and shot me a sly glance. "The Queen of Spades represents a dark woman. You must be secretly thinking about a dark woman, Francie?"
When a man has been out of work for more than three months, his mind isn't troubled much with thinking of women—light or dark. I was thinking of the groom's place at the great house, and I tried to say so. My aunt Chance wouldn't listen. She treated my interpretation with contempt. "Hoot-toot! there's the caird in your hand! If ye're no thinking of her the day, ye'll be thinking of her the morrow. Where's the harm of thinking of a dairk woman! I was ance a dairk woman myself, before my hair was gray. Haud yer peace, Francie, and watch the cairds."
When a man has been unemployed for over three months, he doesn’t think much about women—light or dark. I was considering the groom’s position at the big house, and I tried to express that. My Aunt Chance wouldn’t listen. She dismissed my thoughts with disdain. “Nonsense! You’ve got the cards in your hand! If you’re not thinking about her today, you’ll be thinking about her tomorrow. What’s wrong with thinking about a dark woman? I used to be a dark woman myself, before my hair turned gray. Be quiet, Francie, and pay attention to the cards.”
I watched the cards as I was told. There were seven left on the table. My aunt removed two from one end of the row and two from the other, and desired me to call the two outermost of the three cards now left on the table. I called the Ace of Clubs and the Ten of Diamonds. My aunt Chance lifted her eyes to the ceiling with a look of devout gratitude which sorely tried my mother's patience. The Ace of Clubs and the Ten of Diamonds, taken together, signified—first, good news (evidently the news of the groom's place); secondly, a journey that lay before me (pointing plainly to my journey to-morrow!); thirdly and lastly, a sum of money (probably the groom's wages!) waiting to find its way into my pockets. Having told my fortune in these encouraging terms, my aunt declined to carry the experiment any further. "Eh, lad! it's a clean tempting o' Proavidence to ask mair o' the cairds than the cairds have tauld us noo. Gae yer ways to-morrow to the great hoose. A dairk woman will meet ye at the gate; and she'll have a hand in getting ye the groom's place, wi' a' the gratifications and pairquisites appertaining to the same. And, mebbe, when yer poaket's full o' money, ye'll no' be forgetting yer aunt Chance, maintaining her ain unblemished widowhood—wi' Proavidence assisting—on thratty punds a year!"
I watched the cards as instructed. There were seven left on the table. My aunt removed two from one end of the row and two from the other, and asked me to name the two outermost of the three cards now left on the table. I chose the Ace of Clubs and the Ten of Diamonds. My aunt Chance looked up at the ceiling with a look of sincere gratitude that tested my mother's patience. The Ace of Clubs and the Ten of Diamonds combined indicated—first, good news (clearly about the groom's position); second, a journey ahead of me (pointing directly to my trip tomorrow!); and third, a sum of money (likely the groom's pay!) that was waiting to be in my pockets. After giving me this encouraging fortune, my aunt decided not to continue with the reading. "Oh, dear! It's really tempting Providence to ask for more from the cards than they’ve told us now. Go on to the big house tomorrow. A dark woman will meet you at the gate; she’ll help you get the groom's position, along with all the benefits and perks that come with it. And maybe, when your pocket is full of money, you won’t forget your aunt Chance, maintaining her own respectable widowhood—with Providence’s help—on thirty pounds a year!"
I promised to remember my aunt Chance (who had the defect, by the way, of being a terribly greedy person after money) on the next happy occasion when my poor empty pockets were to be filled at last. This done, I looked at my mother. She had agreed to take her sister for umpire between us, and her sister had given it in my favor. She raised no more objections. Silently, she got on her feet, and kissed me, and sighed bitterly—and so left the room. My aunt Chance shook her head. "I doubt, Francie, yer puir mither has but a heathen notion of the vairtue of the cairds!"
I promised to think of my Aunt Chance (who, by the way, was really greedy for money) the next time something good happened and my empty pockets were finally filled. After that, I glanced at my mom. She had agreed to let her sister mediate between us, and her sister had ruled in my favor. She didn't object anymore. Without saying a word, she stood up, kissed me, and sighed sadly—then left the room. Aunt Chance shook her head. "I doubt, Francie, your poor mother has a proper understanding of the value of cards!"
By daylight the next morning I set forth on my journey. I looked back at the cottage as I opened the garden gate. At one window was my mother, with her handkerchief to her eyes. At the other stood my aunt Chance, holding up the Queen of Spades by way of encouraging me at starting. I waved my hands to both of them in token of farewell, and stepped out briskly into the road. It was then the last day of February. Be pleased to remember, in connection with this, that the first of March was the day, and two o'clock in the morning the hour of my birth.
By daylight the next morning, I set out on my journey. I glanced back at the cottage as I opened the garden gate. At one window was my mom, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. At the other stood my Aunt Chance, holding up the Queen of Spades to encourage me as I was leaving. I waved goodbye to both of them and walked purposefully onto the road. It was the last day of February. Please remember that March 1st was my birthday, and I was born at two o'clock in the morning.
V
Now you know how I came to leave home. The next thing to tell is, what happened on the journey.
Now you know how I ended up leaving home. The next thing to share is what happened during the journey.
I reached the great house in reasonably good time considering the distance. At the very first trial of it, the prophecy of the cards turned out to be wrong. The person who met me at the lodge gate was not a dark woman—in fact, not a woman at all—but a boy. He directed me on the way to the servants' offices; and there again the cards were all wrong. I encountered, not one woman, but three—and not one of the three was dark. I have stated that I am not superstitious, and I have told the truth. But I must own that I did feel a certain fluttering at the heart when I made my bow to the steward, and told him what business had brought me to the house. His answer completed the discomfiture of aunt Chance's fortune-telling. My ill-luck still pursued me. That very morning another man had applied for the groom's place, and had got it.
I arrived at the big house in pretty good time considering how far I had to travel. Right from the start, the card reading turned out to be inaccurate. The person who greeted me at the lodge gate wasn't a dark woman—actually, it wasn't a woman at all, but a boy. He pointed me in the direction of the staff offices; and once again, the cards were wrong. I came across not one woman, but three—and none of them were dark. I've mentioned that I'm not superstitious, and that's the truth. But I have to admit I felt a bit anxious when I greeted the steward and explained why I was there. His reply completely debunked Aunt Chance's fortune-telling. My bad luck was still with me. That very morning, another man had applied for the groom's position and had gotten it.
I swallowed my disappointment as well as I could, and thanked the steward, and went to the inn in the village to get the rest and food which I sorely needed by this time.
I tried to push down my disappointment as best as I could, thanked the steward, and headed to the village inn to get the rest and food I desperately needed by this time.
Before starting on my homeward walk I made some inquiries at the inn, and ascertained that I might save a few miles, on my return, by following a new road. Furnished with full instructions, several times repeated, as to the various turnings I was to take, I set forth, and walked on till the evening with only one stoppage for bread and cheese. Just as it was getting toward dark, the rain came on and the wind began to rise; and I found myself, to make matters worse, in a part of the country with which I was entirely unacquainted, though I guessed myself to be some fifteen miles from home. The first house I found to inquire at, was a lonely roadside inn, standing on the outskirts of a thick wood. Solitary as the place looked, it was welcome to a lost man who was also hungry, thirsty, footsore, and wet. The landlord was civil and respectable-looking; and the price he asked for a bed was reasonable enough. I was grieved to disappoint my mother. But there was no conveyance to be had, and I could go no farther afoot that night. My weariness fairly forced me to stop at the inn.
Before starting on my walk home, I asked around at the inn and found out that I could save a few miles on my way back by taking a new road. Armed with complete directions, repeated several times, about the various turns I needed to take, I set off and walked until evening, stopping only once for bread and cheese. Just as it was getting dark, the rain started, and the wind picked up; I realized I was in an area I didn’t know at all, though I guessed I was about fifteen miles from home. The first place I found to ask for help was a lonely roadside inn at the edge of a thick forest. As isolated as it seemed, it was a welcome sight for a lost man who was also hungry, thirsty, sore-footed, and wet. The landlord was polite and seemed respectable, and the price he asked for a room was fair enough. I felt bad about letting my mother down. But there was no way to get a ride, and I couldn’t walk any further that night. My exhaustion made me stop at the inn.
I may say for myself that I am a temperate man. My supper simply consisted of some rashers of bacon, a slice of home-made bread, and a pint of ale. I did not go to bed immediately after this moderate meal, but sat up with the landlord, talking about my bad prospects and my long run of ill-luck, and diverging from these topics to the subjects of horse-flesh and racing. Nothing was said, either by myself, my host, or the few laborers who strayed into the tap-room, which could, in the slightest degree, excite my mind, or set my fancy—which is only a small fancy at the best of times—playing tricks with my common sense.
I can say that I’m a pretty moderate guy. For dinner, I just had some bacon, a slice of homemade bread, and a pint of beer. I didn’t go to bed right after that simple meal; instead, I stayed up with the landlord, chatting about my poor prospects and my ongoing streak of bad luck, and we also talked about horses and racing. There was nothing said, by me, my host, or the few workers who wandered into the pub, that could stir my mind up or make my imagination— which is only a bit wild at the best of times—play tricks on my common sense.
At a little after eleven the house was closed. I went round with the landlord, and held the candle while the doors and lower windows were being secured. I noticed with surprise the strength of the bolts, bars, and iron-sheathed shutters.
At just after eleven, the house was locked up. I walked around with the landlord and held the candle while the doors and lower windows were secured. I was surprised by the strength of the bolts, bars, and iron-covered shutters.
"You see, we are rather lonely here," said the landlord. "We never have had any attempts to break in yet, but it's always as well to be on the safe side. When nobody is sleeping here, I am the only man in the house. My wife and daughter are timid, and the servant girl takes after her missuses. Another glass of ale, before you turn in?—No!—Well, how such a sober man as you comes to be out of a place is more than I can understand for one.—Here's where you're to sleep. You're the only lodger to-night, and I think you'll say my missus has done her best to make you comfortable. You're quite sure you won't have another glass of ale?—Very well. Good night."
"You know, we’re pretty lonely here," said the landlord. "We’ve never had any break-in attempts yet, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. When no one is sleeping here, I’m the only one in the house. My wife and daughter are quite nervous, and the maid is just like them. Would you like another glass of ale before you head to bed?—No?—Well, I can’t understand how a sober guy like you ends up without a job. Here’s your room. You’re the only guest tonight, and I think you’ll find my wife has done her best to make you comfortable. Are you sure you won’t have another glass of ale?—Alright then. Good night."
It was half-past eleven by the clock in the passage as we went upstairs to the bedroom. The window looked out on the wood at the back of the house.
It was 11:30 by the clock in the hallway as we went up to the bedroom. The window faced the woods behind the house.
I locked my door, set my candle on the chest of drawers, and wearily got me ready for bed. The bleak wind was still blowing, and the solemn, surging moan of it in the wood was very dreary to hear through the night silence. Feeling strangely wakeful, I resolved to keep the candle alight until I began to grow sleepy. The truth is, I was not quite myself. I was depressed in mind by my disappointment of the morning; and I was worn out in body by my long walk. Between the two, I own I couldn't face the prospect of lying awake in the darkness, listening to the dismal moan of the wind in the wood.
I locked my door, set my candle on the dresser, and tiredly got ready for bed. The harsh wind was still blowing, and its deep, restless moan in the woods was really bleak to hear through the night’s silence. Feeling oddly alert, I decided to keep the candle burning until I started to feel sleepy. The truth is, I wasn’t quite myself. I was feeling down from the disappointment of the morning, and I was physically exhausted from my long walk. Between the two, I have to admit I couldn't face the thought of lying awake in the dark, listening to the gloomy moan of the wind in the woods.
Sleep stole on me before I was aware of it; my eyes closed, and I fell off to rest, without having so much as thought of extinguishing the candle.
Sleep took me by surprise; my eyes shut, and I drifted off to rest, without even thinking to blow out the candle.
The next thing that I remember was a faint shivering that ran through me from head to foot, and a dreadful sinking pain at my heart, such as I had never felt before. The shivering only disturbed my slumbers—the pain woke me instantly. In one moment I passed from a state of sleep to a state of wakefulness—my eyes wide open—my mind clear on a sudden as if by a miracle. The candle had burned down nearly to the last morsel of tallow, but the unsnuffed wick had just fallen off, and the light was, for the moment, fair and full.
The next thing I remember is a faint shiver running through me from head to toe and a terrible sinking pain in my chest, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. The shivering disturbed my sleep, but the pain woke me instantly. In an instant, I went from asleep to wide awake—my eyes wide open and my mind suddenly clear as if by a miracle. The candle had burned down almost to the last bit of wax, but the unsnuffed wick had just fallen off, and the light was, for the moment, bright and full.
Between the foot of the bed and the closet door, I saw a person in my room. The person was a woman, standing looking at me, with a knife in her hand. It does no credit to my courage to confess it—but the truth is the truth. I was struck speechless with terror. There I lay with my eyes on the woman; there the woman stood (with the knife in her hand) with her eyes on me.
Between the foot of the bed and the closet door, I noticed someone in my room. It was a woman, standing and staring at me, holding a knife. I won’t lie; it doesn’t reflect well on my bravery, but the truth is the truth. I was so terrified I couldn’t speak. I lay there with my eyes on her, and she stood there (with the knife in her hand) with her eyes on me.
She said not a word as we stared each other in the face; but she moved after a little—moved slowly toward the left-hand side of the bed.
She didn't say anything as we looked at each other; but after a moment, she moved—slowly towards the left side of the bed.
The light fell full on her face. A fair, fine woman, with yellowish flaxen hair, and light gray eyes, with a droop in the left eyelid. I noticed these things and fixed them in my mind, before she was quite round at the side of the bed. Without saying a word; without any change in the stony stillness of her face; without any noise following her footfall, she came closer and closer; stopped at the bed-head; and lifted the knife to stab me. I laid my arm over my throat to save it; but, as I saw the blow coming, I threw my hand across the bed to the right side, and jerked my body over that way, just as the knife came down, like lightning, within a hair's breadth of my shoulder.
The light shone directly on her face. She was a beautiful woman, with light yellowish hair and soft gray eyes, one of which had a slight droop in the eyelid. I noticed these details and committed them to memory before she fully rounded the side of the bed. Without saying a word, without any change in the cold stillness of her expression, without making a sound as she approached, she moved closer and closer; stopped at the head of the bed; and raised the knife to stab me. I put my arm over my throat to protect it; but as I saw the strike coming, I threw my hand across the bed to the right side and jerked my body that way, just as the knife came down, like lightning, just inches from my shoulder.
My eyes fixed on her arm and her hand—she gave me time to look at them as she slowly drew the knife out of the bed. A white, well-shaped arm, with a pretty down lying lightly over the fair skin. A delicate lady's hand, with a pink flush round the finger nails.
My eyes were glued to her arm and hand—she let me take my time as she slowly pulled the knife out of the bed. A white, well-shaped arm, with a fine layer of soft hair on the fair skin. A delicate lady's hand, with a pink hue around the fingernails.
She drew the knife out, and passed back again slowly to the foot of the bed; she stopped there for a moment looking at me; then she came on without saying a word; without any change in the stony stillness of her face; without any noise following her footfall—came on to the side of the bed where I now lay.
She pulled out the knife and slowly walked back to the foot of the bed; she paused for a moment to look at me; then she approached without saying anything; with her face still as stone; without making a sound—she came to the side of the bed where I was now lying.
Getting near me, she lifted the knife again, and I drew myself away to the left side. She struck, as before right into the mattress, with a swift downward action of her arm; and she missed me, as before; by a hair's breadth. This time my eyes wandered from her to the knife. It was like the large clasp knives which laboring men use to cut their bread and bacon with. Her delicate little fingers did not hide more than two thirds of the handle; I noticed that it was made of buckhorn, clean and shining as the blade was, and looking like new.
Getting closer to me, she raised the knife again, and I moved to the left. She struck, just like before, right into the mattress with a quick downward motion of her arm; she missed me, just like last time, by a hair's breadth. This time, my gaze shifted from her to the knife. It looked like the big clasp knives that laborers use to slice their bread and bacon. Her slender fingers covered less than two-thirds of the handle; I noticed it was made of buckhorn, clean and shiny like the blade, and looked brand new.
For the second time she drew the knife out of the bed, and suddenly hid it away in the wide sleeve of her gown. That done, she stopped by the bedside watching me. For an instant I saw her standing in that position—then the wick of the spent candle fell over into the socket. The flame dwindled to a little blue point, and the room grew dark.
For the second time, she pulled the knife out from under the bed and quickly tucked it into the wide sleeve of her dress. Once she did that, she stood by the bedside watching me. For a moment, I saw her in that stance—then the wick of the burnt-out candle tipped over into the holder. The flame shrank to a tiny blue point, and the room went dark.
A moment, or less, if possible, passed so—and then the wick flared up, smokily, for the last time. My eyes were still looking for her over the right-hand side of the bed when the last flash of light came. Look as I might, I could see nothing. The woman with the knife was gone.
A moment, or even less if I could manage it, passed like that—and then the wick flared up, smoky, for the last time. I was still searching for her on the right side of the bed when the final flash of light appeared. No matter how hard I looked, I couldn't see anything. The woman with the knife had vanished.
I began to get back to myself again. I could feel my heart beating; I could hear the woeful moaning of the wind in the wood; I could leap up in bed, and give the alarm before she escaped from the house. "Murder! Wake up there! Murder!"
I started to regain my composure. I could feel my heart racing; I could hear the sad howling of the wind in the trees; I could jump out of bed and raise the alarm before she got out of the house. "Murder! Wake up! Murder!"
Nobody answered to the alarm. I rose and groped my way through the darkness to the door of the room. By that way she must have got in. By that way she must have gone out.
Nobody responded to the alarm. I got up and felt my way through the darkness to the door of the room. That’s how she must have come in. That’s how she must have left.
The door of the room was fast locked, exactly as I had left it on going to bed! I looked at the window. Fast locked too!
The door to the room was securely locked, just like I had left it when I went to bed! I glanced at the window. Locked up tight as well!
Hearing a voice outside, I opened the door. There was the landlord, coming toward me along the passage, with his burning candle in one hand, and his gun in the other.
Hearing a voice outside, I opened the door. It was the landlord, walking toward me down the hallway, with a lit candle in one hand and a gun in the other.
"What is it?" he says, looking at me in no very friendly way.
"What is it?" he says, looking at me not in a very friendly way.
I could only answer in a whisper, "A woman, with a knife in her hand. In my room. A fair, yellow-haired woman. She jabbed at me with the knife, twice over."
I could only answer in a whisper, "A woman, with a knife in her hand. In my room. A light-haired woman. She lunged at me with the knife, twice."
He lifted his candle, and looked at me steadily from head to foot. "She seems to have missed you—twice over."
He raised his candle and stared at me from head to toe. "She seems to have missed you—twice."
"I dodged the knife as it came down. It struck the bed each time. Go in, and see."
"I dodged the knife as it came down. It hit the bed every time. Go in and check it out."
The landlord took his candle into the bedroom immediately. In less than a minute he came out again into the passage in a violent passion.
The landlord took his candle into the bedroom right away. Less than a minute later, he stormed back out into the hallway, furious.
"The devil fly away with you and your woman with the knife! There isn't a mark in the bedclothes anywhere. What do you mean by coming into a man's place and frightening his family out of their wits by a dream?"
"The devil take you and your woman with the knife! There’s not a single mark on the bedclothes. What do you think you're doing, coming into a man's home and scaring his family out of their minds with a nightmare?"
A dream? The woman who had tried to stab me, not a living human being like myself? I began to shake and shiver. The horrors got hold of me at the bare thought of it.
A dream? The woman who attempted to stab me, not a real person like myself? I started to shake and tremble. The nightmares gripped me at just the thought of it.
"I'll leave the house," I said. "Better be out on the road in the rain and dark, than back in that room, after what I've seen in it. Lend me the light to get my clothes by, and tell me what I'm to pay."
"I'll leave the house," I said. "I'd rather be out on the road in the rain and dark than back in that room, after what I've seen there. Give me the light to gather my clothes, and let me know what I owe."
The landlord led the way back with his light into the bedroom. "Pay?" says he. "You'll find your score on the slate when you go downstairs. I wouldn't have taken you in for all the money you've got about you, if I had known your dreaming, screeching ways beforehand. Look at the bed—where's the cut of a knife in it? Look at the window—is the lock bursted? Look at the door (which I heard you fasten yourself)—is it broke in? A murdering woman with a knife in my house! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"
The landlord led the way back with his light into the bedroom. "Pay?" he says. "You’ll see your bill on the slate when you go downstairs. I wouldn’t have let you stay with all the money you have if I had known about your dreaming, screeching ways ahead of time. Look at the bed—where’s the knife cut on it? Look at the window—is the lock broken? Look at the door (which I heard you lock yourself)—is it broken in? A woman with a knife in my house! You should be ashamed of yourself!"
My eyes followed his hand as it pointed first to the bed—then to the window—then to the door. There was no gainsaying it. The bed sheet was as sound as on the day it was made. The window was fast. The door hung on its hinges as steady as ever. I huddled my clothes on without speaking. We went downstairs together. I looked at the clock in the bar-room. The time was twenty minutes past two in the morning. I paid my bill, and the landlord let me out. The rain had ceased; but the night was dark, and the wind was bleaker than ever. Little did the darkness, or the cold, or the doubt about the way home matter to me. My mind was away from all these things. My mind was fixed on the vision in the bedroom. What had I seen trying to murder me? The creature of a dream? Or that other creature from the world beyond the grave, whom men call ghost? I could make nothing of it as I walked along in the night; I had made nothing by it by midday—when I stood at last, after many times missing my road, on the doorstep of home.
My eyes followed his hand as he pointed first to the bed—then to the window—then to the door. There was no denying it. The bed sheet was just as fresh as the day it was made. The window was secure. The door hung on its hinges as steady as ever. I quickly got dressed without saying a word. We went downstairs together. I glanced at the clock in the bar room. It was twenty minutes past two in the morning. I paid my bill, and the landlord let me out. The rain had stopped; but the night was dark, and the wind was colder than ever. The darkness, the chill, or the uncertainty about how to get home didn't matter to me. My mind was elsewhere. I couldn’t stop thinking about the vision in the bedroom. What had I seen trying to kill me? A creature of a dream? Or that other being from the world beyond the grave that people call a ghost? I couldn’t make sense of it as I walked through the night; I had figured nothing out by midday—when I finally stood, after losing my way several times, on the doorstep of home.
VI
My mother came out alone to welcome me back. There were no secrets between us two. I told her all that had happened, just as I have told it to you. She kept silence till I had done. And then she put a question to me.
My mom came out by herself to greet me when I got back. There were no secrets between us. I shared everything that had happened, just like I've shared it with you. She stayed quiet until I finished. Then she asked me a question.
"What time was it, Francis, when you saw the Woman in your Dream?"
"What time was it, Francis, when you saw the Woman in your dream?"
I had looked at the clock when I left the inn, and I had noticed that the hands pointed to twenty minutes past two. Allowing for the time consumed in speaking to the landlord, and in getting on my clothes, I answered that I must have first seen the Woman at two o'clock in the morning. In other words, I had not only seen her on my birthday, but at the hour of my birth.
I checked the clock when I left the inn and saw that it was twenty minutes past two. Considering the time it took to talk to the landlord and get dressed, I figured I must have first seen the Woman at two o'clock in the morning. In other words, I had not only seen her on my birthday but at the exact hour I was born.
My mother still kept silence. Lost in her own thoughts, she took me by the hand, and led me into the parlor. Her writing-desk was on the table by the fireplace. She opened it, and signed to me to take a chair by her side.
My mother remained silent. Deep in her own thoughts, she took my hand and led me into the living room. Her writing desk was on the table by the fireplace. She opened it and gestured for me to take a seat next to her.
"My son! your memory is a bad one, and mine is fast failing me. Tell me again what the Woman looked like. I want her to be as well known to both of us, years hence, as she is now."
"My son! Your memory isn't great, and mine is slipping too. Tell me again what the Woman looked like. I want us to both remember her just as clearly years from now as we do now."
I obeyed; wondering what strange fancy might be working in her mind. I spoke; and she wrote the words as they fell from my lips:
I complied, curious about what unusual thought might be going through her mind. I spoke, and she wrote down the words as they came out of my mouth:
"Light gray eyes, with a droop in the left eyelid. Flaxen hair, with a golden-yellow streak in it. White arms, with a down upon them. Little, lady's hands, with a rosy-red look about the finger nails."
"Light gray eyes, with a droop in the left eyelid. Flaxen hair, with a golden-yellow streak in it. White arms, with a fine layer of down on them. Small, feminine hands, with a rosy-red tint at the fingertips."
"Did you notice how she was dressed, Francis?"
"Did you see how she was dressed, Francis?"
"No, mother."
"No, Mom."
"Did you notice the knife?"
"Did you see the knife?"
"Yes. A large clasp knife, with a buckhorn handle, as good as new."
"Yes. A large pocket knife, with a buckhorn handle, in excellent condition."
My mother added the description of the knife. Also the year, month, day of the week, and hour of the day when the Dream-Woman appeared to me at the inn. That done, she locked up the paper in her desk.
My mom added the details about the knife. She also noted the year, month, day of the week, and hour of the day when the Dream-Woman showed up at the inn. Once that was finished, she locked the paper away in her desk.
"Not a word, Francis, to your aunt. Not a word to any living soul. Keep your Dream a secret between you and me."
"Not a word, Francis, to your aunt. Not a word to anyone else. Keep your Dream a secret between us."
The weeks passed, and the months passed. My mother never returned to the subject again. As for me, time, which wears out all things, wore out my remembrance of the Dream. Little by little, the image of the Woman grew dimmer and dimmer. Little by little, she faded out of my mind.
The weeks went by, and the months went by. My mother never brought it up again. As for me, time, which wears down everything, gradually faded my memory of the Dream. Bit by bit, the image of the Woman became less clear. Bit by bit, she disappeared from my mind.
VII
The story of the warning is now told. Judge for yourself if it was a true warning or a false, when you hear what happened to me on my next birthday.
The story of the warning has now been shared. You can decide for yourself if it was a real warning or a fake one when you hear what happened to me on my next birthday.
In the Summer time of the year, the Wheel of Fortune turned the right way for me at last. I was smoking my pipe one day, near an old stone quarry at the entrance to our village, when a carriage accident happened, which gave a new turn, as it were, to my lot in life. It was an accident of the commonest kind—not worth mentioning at any length. A lady driving herself; a runaway horse; a cowardly man-servant in attendance, frightened out of his wits; and the stone quarry too near to be agreeable—that is what I saw, all in a few moments, between two whiffs of my pipe. I stopped the horse at the edge of the quarry, and got myself a little hurt by the shaft of the chaise. But that didn't matter. The lady declared I had saved her life; and her husband, coming with her to our cottage the next day, took me into his service then and there. The lady happened to be of a dark complexion; and it may amuse you to hear that my aunt Chance instantly pitched on that circumstance as a means of saving the credit of the cards. Here was the promise of the Queen of Spades performed to the very letter, by means of "a dark woman," just as my aunt had told me. "In the time to come, Francis, beware o' pettin' yer ain blinded intairpretation on the cairds. Ye're ower ready, I trow, to murmur under dispensation of Proavidence that ye canna fathom—like the Eesraelites of auld. I'll say nae mair to ye. Mebbe when the mony's powering into yer poakets, ye'll no forget yer aunt Chance, left like a sparrow on the housetop, wi' a sma' annuitee o' thratty punds a year."
In the summer, the Wheel of Fortune finally turned in my favor. One day, I was smoking my pipe near an old stone quarry at the edge of our village when a carriage accident happened that changed my life. It was a typical accident—not really worth going into detail about. A lady driving herself, a runaway horse, a frightened man-servant, and the stone quarry way too close—that's what I saw in just a few moments, between two puffs of my pipe. I stopped the horse at the edge of the quarry and got a bit hurt by the chaise’s shaft. But that didn’t matter. The lady said I had saved her life; and her husband came to our cottage the next day and hired me on the spot. The lady had dark features, and it might amuse you to know that my aunt Chance immediately pointed out that detail as a way to maintain the cards' reputation. Here was the promise of the Queen of Spades delivered exactly as my aunt had said, thanks to "a dark woman." "In the future, Francis, watch out not to impose your own biased interpretation on the cards. You're too quick to complain about Providence that you can't understand—like the ancient Israelites. I won't say more to you. Maybe when the money starts pouring into your pockets, you won’t forget about your aunt Chance, left like a sparrow on the rooftop, with a small annuity of thirty pounds a year."
I remained in my situation (at the West-end of London) until the Spring of the New Year. About that time, my master's health failed. The doctors ordered him away to foreign parts, and the establishment was broken up. But the turn in my luck still held good. When I left my place, I left it—thanks to the generosity of my kind master—with a yearly allowance granted to me, in remembrance of the day when I had saved my mistress's life. For the future, I could go back to service or not, as I pleased; my little income was enough to support my mother and myself.
I stayed in my situation (in the West End of London) until the Spring of the New Year. Around that time, my boss's health declined. The doctors advised him to go abroad, and the household was disbanded. However, my luck continued to hold. When I left my job, I was able to do so—thanks to the kindness of my generous boss—with a yearly allowance given to me in memory of the day I saved my mistress’s life. In the future, I could choose to return to work or not, as I wished; my small income was enough to support my mother and me.
My master and mistress left England toward the end of February. Certain matters of business to do for them detained me in London until the last day of the month. I was only able to leave for our village by the evening train, to keep my birthday with my mother as usual. It was bedtime when I got to the cottage; and I was sorry to find that she was far from well. To make matters worse, she had finished her bottle of medicine on the previous day, and had omitted to get it replenished, as the doctor had strictly directed. He dispensed his own medicines, and I offered to go and knock him up. She refused to let me do this; and, after giving me my supper, sent me away to my bed.
My boss and his wife left England at the end of February. I had some business to take care of for them that kept me in London until the last day of the month. I could only catch the evening train to our village to celebrate my birthday with my mom as usual. It was bedtime when I finally reached the cottage, and I was disappointed to see that she wasn't feeling well at all. To make things worse, she had finished her bottle of medicine the day before and hadn’t restocked it, even though the doctor had clearly instructed her to do so. He provided his own medications, and I offered to go and wake him up. She wouldn’t let me do that, and after giving me my dinner, she sent me off to my bed.
I fell asleep for a little, and woke again. My mother's bed-chamber was next to mine. I heard my aunt Chance's heavy footsteps going to and fro in the room, and, suspecting something wrong, knocked at the door. My mother's pains had returned upon her; there was a serious necessity for relieving her sufferings as speedily as possible, I put on my clothes, and ran off, with the medicine bottle in my hand, to the other end of the village, where the doctor lived. The church clock chimed the quarter to two on my birthday just as I reached his house. One ring of the night bell brought him to his bedroom window to speak to me. He told me to wait, and he would let me in at the surgery door. I noticed, while I was waiting, that the night was wonderfully fair and warm for the time of year. The old stone quarry where the carriage accident had happened was within view. The moon in the clear heavens lit it up almost as bright as day.
I dozed off for a bit and woke up again. My mom’s bedroom was right next to mine. I heard my aunt Chance’s heavy footsteps moving around in the room, and sensing something was off, I knocked on the door. My mom was in pain again; it was seriously urgent to ease her suffering as quickly as possible. I got dressed and ran with the medicine bottle in my hand to the other side of the village where the doctor lived. The church clock chimed a quarter to two on my birthday just as I got to his house. One ring of the night bell brought him to his bedroom window to talk to me. He told me to wait, and he would let me in through the surgery door. While I was waiting, I noticed that the night was surprisingly nice and warm for the time of year. The old stone quarry where the accident had happened was in sight. The moon in the clear sky lit it up almost as bright as day.
In a minute or two the doctor let me into the surgery. I closed the door, noticing that he had left his room very lightly clad. He kindly pardoned my mother's neglect of his directions, and set to work at once at compounding the medicine. We were both intent on the bottle; he filling it, and I holding the light—when we heard the surgery door suddenly opened from the street.
In a minute or two, the doctor let me into the surgery. I closed the door, noticing that he had come out of his room dressed very lightly. He kindly forgave my mother's failure to follow his instructions and immediately began preparing the medicine. We were both focused on the bottle: he was filling it while I held the light—when we suddenly heard the surgery door burst open from the street.
VIII
Who could possibly be up and about in our quiet village at the second hour of the morning?
Who could be awake and wandering around our peaceful village at two in the morning?
The person who opened the door appeared within range of the light of the candle. To complete our amazement, the person proved to be a woman! She walked up to the counter, and standing side by side with me, lifted her veil. At the moment when she showed her face, I heard the church clock strike two. She was a stranger to me, and a stranger to the doctor. She was also, beyond all comparison, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life.
The person who opened the door stepped into the light of the candle. To our surprise, it was a woman! She walked over to the counter, and standing next to me, lifted her veil. Just as she revealed her face, I heard the church clock strike two. I didn't know her, and neither did the doctor. She was, by far, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life.
"I saw the light under the door," she said. "I want some medicine."
"I saw the light under the door," she said. "I need some medicine."
She spoke quite composedly, as if there was nothing at all extraordinary in her being out in the village at two in the morning, and following me into the surgery to ask for medicine! The doctor stared at her as if he suspected his own eyes of deceiving him. "Who are you?" he asked. "How do you come to be wandering about at this time in the morning?"
She spoke very calmly, as if it were completely normal for her to be out in the village at two in the morning and to follow me into the surgery to ask for medicine! The doctor stared at her, as if he doubted his own eyes. "Who are you?" he asked. "What are you doing wandering around at this hour?"
She paid no heed to his questions. She only told him coolly what she wanted. "I have got a bad toothache. I want a bottle of laudanum."
She ignored his questions. She simply told him calmly what she wanted. "I have a terrible toothache. I need a bottle of laudanum."
The doctor recovered himself when she asked for the laudanum. He was on his own ground, you know, when it came to a matter of laudanum; and he spoke to her smartly enough this time.
The doctor got himself together when she asked for the laudanum. He was in his element, you know, when it came to discussing laudanum; and he spoke to her quite sharply this time.
"Oh, you have got the toothache, have you? Let me look at the tooth."
"Oh, you have a toothache, huh? Let me see your tooth."
She shook her head, and laid a two-shilling piece on the counter. "I won't trouble you to look at the tooth," she said. "There is the money. Let me have the laudanum, if you please."
She shook her head and placed a two-shilling coin on the counter. "I won't bother you to look at the tooth," she said. "Here’s the money. Please give me the laudanum."
The doctor put the two-shilling piece back again in her hand. "I don't sell laudanum to strangers," he answered. "If you are in any distress of body or mind, that is another matter. I shall be glad to help you."
The doctor placed the two-shilling coin back in her hand. "I don’t sell laudanum to strangers," he replied. "If you're dealing with any pain or emotional distress, that's a different story. I’d be happy to help you."
She put the money back in her pocket. "You can't help me," she said, as quietly as ever. "Good morning."
She put the money back in her pocket. "You can't help me," she said, always speaking softly. "Good morning."
With that, she opened the surgery door to go out again into the street. So far, I had not spoken a word on my side. I had stood with the candle in my hand (not knowing I was holding it)—with my eyes fixed on her, with my mind fixed on her like a man bewitched. Her looks betrayed, even more plainly than her words, her resolution, in one way or another, to destroy herself. When she opened the door, in my alarm at what might happen I found the use of my tongue.
With that, she opened the surgery door to head back out into the street. Up until now, I hadn’t said a word. I stood there holding the candle (not even realizing I was holding it)—my eyes locked on her, my mind focused on her like a man under a spell. Her expression revealed, even more clearly than her words, her determination, in one way or another, to harm herself. When she opened the door, my fear of what might happen finally allowed me to speak.
"Stop!" I cried out. "Wait for me. I want to speak to you before you go away." She lifted her eyes with a look of careless surprise and a mocking smile on her lips.
"Stop!" I shouted. "Wait for me. I want to talk to you before you leave." She raised her eyes with a look of casual surprise and a teasing smile on her lips.
"What can you have to say to me?" She stopped, and laughed to herself. "Why not?" she said. "I have got nothing to do, and nowhere to go." She turned back a step, and nodded to me. "You're a strange man—I think I'll humor you—I'll wait outside." The door of the surgery closed on her. She was gone.
"What do you have to say to me?" She paused and laughed to herself. "Why not?" she replied. "I have nothing to do and nowhere to go." She took a step back and nodded at me. "You're a strange guy—I think I'll indulge you—I'll wait outside." The door of the clinic shut behind her. She was gone.
I am ashamed to own what happened next. The only excuse for me is that I was really and truly a man bewitched. I turned me round to follow her out, without once thinking of my mother. The doctor stopped me.
I’m embarrassed to admit what happened next. The only excuse I have is that I was genuinely under a spell. I turned to follow her out without even considering my mother. The doctor held me back.
"Don't forget the medicine," he said. "And if you will take my advice, don't trouble yourself about that woman. Rouse up the constable. It's his business to look after her—not yours."
"Don't forget the medicine," he said. "And if you want my advice, don't stress about that woman. Call the constable. It's his job to take care of her—not yours."
I held out my hand for the medicine in silence: I was afraid I should fail in respect if I trusted myself to answer him. He must have seen, as I saw, that she wanted the laudanum to poison herself. He had, to my mind, taken a very heartless view of the matter. I just thanked him when he gave me the medicine—and went out.
I held out my hand for the medicine silently; I was afraid I'd be disrespectful if I spoke. He must have noticed, as I did, that she wanted the laudanum to harm herself. To me, he seemed to have a really cold perspective on the situation. I just thanked him when he gave me the medicine—and left.
She was waiting for me as she had promised; walking slowly to and fro—a tall, graceful, solitary figure in the bright moonbeams. They shed over her fair complexion, her bright golden hair, her large gray eyes, just the light that suited them best. She looked hardly mortal when she first turned to speak to me.
She was waiting for me as she promised, pacing slowly back and forth—a tall, elegant, solitary figure in the bright moonlight. It cast just the right glow on her fair skin, her shiny golden hair, and her big gray eyes. She hardly seemed human when she first turned to talk to me.
"Well?" she said. "And what do you want?"
"Well?" she asked. "What do you want?"
In spite of my pride, or my shyness, or my better sense—whichever it might me—all my heart went out to her in a moment. I caught hold of her by the hands, and owned what was in my thoughts, as freely as if I had known her for half a lifetime.
In spite of my pride, my shyness, or my better judgment—whichever it might be—all my feelings poured out to her in an instant. I took her hands and expressed what was on my mind as openly as if I had known her for half my life.
"You mean to destroy yourself," I said. "And I mean to prevent you from doing it. If I follow you about all night, I'll prevent you from doing it."
"You want to ruin yourself," I said. "And I’m going to stop you from doing that. If I stick around with you all night, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen."
She laughed. "You saw yourself that he wouldn't sell me the laudanum. Do you really care whether I live or die?" She squeezed my hands gently as she put the question: her eyes searched mine with a languid, lingering look in them that ran through me like fire. My voice died away on my lips; I couldn't answer her.
She laughed. "You saw for yourself that he wouldn't sell me the laudanum. Do you really care if I live or die?" She squeezed my hands gently as she asked that question; her eyes searched mine with a slow, lingering look that felt like fire running through me. My voice faded away; I couldn’t answer her.
She understood, without my answering. "You have given me a fancy for living, by speaking kindly to me," she said. "Kindness has a wonderful effect on women, and dogs, and other domestic animals. It is only men who are superior to kindness. Make your mind easy—I promise to take as much care of myself as if I was the happiest woman living! Don't let me keep you here, out of your bed. Which way are you going?"
She understood without me saying anything. "You've given me a reason to live by being kind to me," she said. "Kindness has a powerful effect on women, dogs, and other pets. It's only men who seem to rise above kindness. Don't worry—I promise I'll take as much care of myself as if I were the happiest woman alive! Don't let me keep you from your bed. Which way are you headed?"
Miserable wretch that I was, I had forgotten my mother—with the medicine in my hand! "I am going home," I said. "Where are you staying? At the inn?"
Miserable wretch that I was, I had forgotten my mother—with the medicine in my hand! "I'm going home," I said. "Where are you staying? At the inn?"
She laughed her bitter laugh, and pointed to the stone quarry. "There is my inn for to-night," she said. "When I got tired of walking about, I rested there."
She laughed her bitter laugh and pointed to the stone quarry. "That’s my accommodation for the night," she said. "When I got tired of walking around, I rested there."
We walked on together, on my way home. I took the liberty of asking her if she had any friends.
We walked together on my way home. I casually asked her if she had any friends.
"I thought I had one friend left," she said, "or you would never have met me in this place. It turns out I was wrong. My friend's door was closed in my face some hours since; my friend's servants threatened me with the police. I had nowhere else to go, after trying my luck in your neighborhood; and nothing left but my two-shilling piece and these rags on my back. What respectable innkeeper would take me into his house? I walked about, wondering how I could find my way out of the world without disfiguring myself, and without suffering much pain. You have no river in these parts. I didn't see my way out of the world, till I heard you ringing at the doctor's house. I got a glimpse at the bottles in the surgery, when he let you in, and I thought of the laudanum directly. What were you doing there? Who is that medicine for? Your wife?"
"I thought I had one friend left," she said, "or you would never have met me here. Turns out I was wrong. My friend's door was closed in my face a few hours ago; my friend's servants threatened to call the police on me. I had nowhere else to go after trying my luck in your neighborhood, and all I had left was my two-shilling coin and these rags on my back. What respectable innkeeper would take me in? I walked around, wondering how I could find a way out of this world without hurting myself or enduring much pain. You don't have a river around here. I didn't see a way out until I heard you ringing at the doctor's house. I caught a glimpse of the bottles in the office when he let you in and immediately thought of the laudanum. What were you doing there? Who is that medicine for? Your wife?"
"I am not married!"
"I'm not married!"
She laughed again. "Not married! If I was a little better dressed there might be a chance for ME. Where do you live? Here?"
She laughed again. "Not married! If I dressed a bit better, maybe there would be a chance for ME. Where do you live? Here?"
We had arrived, by this time, at my mother's door. She held out her hand to say good-by. Houseless and homeless as she was, she never asked me to give her a shelter for the night. It was my proposal that she should rest, under my roof, unknown to my mother and my aunt. Our kitchen was built out at the back of the cottage: she might remain there unseen and unheard until the household was astir in the morning. I led her into the kitchen, and set a chair for her by the dying embers of the fire. I dare say I was to blame—shamefully to blame, if you like. I only wonder what you would have done in my place. On your word of honor as a man, would you have let that beautiful creature wander back to the shelter of the stone quarry like a stray dog? God help the woman who is foolish enough to trust and love you, if you would have done that!
We had reached my mother's door by this time. She extended her hand to say goodbye. Even though she was without a home, she never asked me to give her a place to sleep for the night. I suggested that she could stay under my roof, without my mother and aunt knowing. Our kitchen was located at the back of the cottage, so she could stay there unseen and unheard until the household was awake in the morning. I took her into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for her by the dying embers of the fire. I admit I was probably to blame—shamefully to blame, if that's what you want to call it. I just wonder what you would have done in my situation. Honestly, as a man, would you have let that beautiful woman wander back to the stone quarry like a lost dog? God help the woman who's naive enough to trust and love you if you would have done that!
I left her by the fire, and went to my mother's room.
I left her by the fire and went to my mom's room.
IX
If you have ever felt the heartache, you will know what I suffered in secret when my mother took my hand, and said, "I am sorry, Francis, that your night's rest has been disturbed through me." I gave her the medicine; and I waited by her till the pains abated. My aunt Chance went back to her bed; and my mother and I were left alone. I noticed that her writing-desk, moved from its customary place, was on the bed by her side. She saw me looking at it. "This is your birthday, Francis," she said. "Have you anything to tell me?" I had so completely forgotten my Dream, that I had no notion of what was passing in her mind when she said those words. For a moment there was a guilty fear in me that she suspected something. I turned away my face, and said, "No, mother; I have nothing to tell." She signed to me to stoop down over the pillow and kiss her. "God bless you, my love!" she said; "and many happy returns of the day." She patted my hand, and closed her weary eyes, and, little by little, fell off peaceably into sleep.
If you've ever felt heartache, you'll understand what I quietly went through when my mom took my hand and said, "I'm sorry, Francis, that your night’s rest has been disturbed because of me." I gave her the medicine and stayed by her side until the pain eased. My aunt Chance went back to bed, leaving my mom and me alone. I noticed her writing desk, moved from its usual spot, was on the bed next to her. She saw me looking at it and said, "It's your birthday, Francis. Do you have anything to share with me?" I had completely forgotten my Dream, so I had no idea what she was thinking when she said that. For a moment, I felt a guilty fear that she suspected something. I turned away and said, "No, mom; I don’t have anything to share." She signaled for me to lean down and kiss her. "God bless you, my love!" she said. "And many happy returns of the day." She patted my hand, closed her tired eyes, and slowly drifted off to sleep.
I stole downstairs again. I think the good influence of my mother must have followed me down. At any rate, this is true: I stopped with my hand on the closed kitchen door, and said to myself: "Suppose I leave the house, and leave the village, without seeing her or speaking to her more?"
I sneaked downstairs again. I think my mom’s good influence must have trailed behind me. Anyway, this is true: I paused with my hand on the closed kitchen door and told myself, “What if I leave the house and the village without seeing her or talking to her again?”
Should I really have fled from temptation in this way, if I had been left to myself to decide? Who can tell? As things were, I was not left to decide. While my doubt was in my mind, she heard me, and opened the kitchen door. My eyes and her eyes met. That ended it.
Should I really have run away from temptation like this if I had been left to my own devices? Who knows? As it happened, I wasn't left to decide. While I was still doubting, she heard me and opened the kitchen door. Our eyes locked, and that was it.
We were together, unsuspected and undisturbed, for the next two hours. Time enough for her to reveal the secret of her wasted life. Time enough for her to take possession of me as her own, to do with me as she liked. It is needless to dwell here on the misfortunes which had brought her low; they are misfortunes too common to interest anybody.
We were together, unnoticed and undisturbed, for the next two hours. Enough time for her to share the story of her wasted life. Enough time for her to claim me as her own, to do with me as she pleased. There's no need to go into the misfortunes that had brought her down; they are too common to interest anyone.
Her name was Alicia Warlock. She had been born and bred a lady. She had lost her station, her character, and her friends. Virtue shuddered at the sight of her; and Vice had got her for the rest of her days. Shocking and common, as I told you. It made no difference to me. I have said it already—I say it again—I was a man bewitched. Is there anything so very wonderful in that? Just remember who I was. Among the honest women in my own station in life, where could I have found the like of her? Could they walk as she walked? and look as she looked? When they gave me a kiss, did their lips linger over it as hers did? Had they her skin, her laugh, her foot, her hand, her touch? She never had a speck of dirt on her: I tell you her flesh was a perfume. When she embraced me, her arms folded round me like the wings of angels; and her smile covered me softly with its light like the sun in heaven. I leave you to laugh at me, or to cry over me, just as your temper may incline. I am not trying to excuse myself—I am trying to explain. You are gentle-folks; what dazzled and maddened me, is everyday experience to you. Fallen or not, angel or devil, it came to this—she was a lady; and I was a groom.
Her name was Alicia Warlock. She had been raised as a lady. She had lost her status, her reputation, and her friends. Virtue was horrified by her, and Vice had claimed her for the rest of her life. Shocking and ordinary, as I mentioned before. It didn’t matter to me. I’ve said it already—I’ll say it again—I was a man under a spell. Is there anything so extraordinary about that? Just remember who I was. Among the decent women in my class, where could I have found someone like her? Could they walk like she did? And look like she looked? When they kissed me, did their lips linger like hers did? Did they have her skin, her laugh, her foot, her hand, her touch? She never had a speck of dirt on her: I tell you her skin was like perfume. When she held me, her arms wrapped around me like angel wings; and her smile enveloped me softly with its light like the sun in heaven. I’ll leave it to you to laugh at me or cry for me, depending on your mood. I’m not trying to justify myself—I’m trying to explain. You’re gentlefolk; what dazzled and drove me mad is just everyday life for you. Fallen or not, angel or devil, it came down to this—she was a lady; and I was a groom.
Before the house was astir, I got her away (by the workmen's train) to a large manufacturing town in our parts.
Before the house was busy, I took her away (on the workmen's train) to a big manufacturing town nearby.
Here—with my savings in money to help her—she could get her outfit of decent clothes and her lodging among strangers who asked no questions so long as they were paid. Here—now on one pretense and now on another—I could visit her, and we could both plan together what our future lives were to be. I need not tell you that I stood pledged to make her my wife. A man in my station always marries a woman of her sort.
Here—with my savings to support her—she could get a decent wardrobe and find a place to stay among people who didn’t ask questions as long as they were paid. Here—on one excuse or another—I could see her, and we could both plan what our future would look like together. I don’t need to mention that I was committed to making her my wife. A guy in my position always marries a woman like her.
Do you wonder if I was happy at this time? I should have been perfectly happy but for one little drawback. It was this: I was never quite at my ease in the presence of my promised wife.
Do you wonder if I was happy at that time? I should have been perfectly happy except for one small issue. It was this: I never felt completely comfortable around my fiancée.
I don't mean that I was shy with her, or suspicious of her, or ashamed of her. The uneasiness I am speaking of was caused by a faint doubt in my mind whether I had not seen her somewhere, before the morning when we met at the doctor's house. Over and over again, I found myself wondering whether her face did not remind me of some other face—what other I never could tell. This strange feeling, this one question that could never be answered, vexed me to a degree that you would hardly credit. It came between us at the strangest times—oftenest, however, at night, when the candles were lit. You have known what it is to try and remember a forgotten name—and to fail, search as you may, to find it in your mind. That was my case. I failed to find my lost face, just as you failed to find your lost name.
I don’t mean that I was shy with her, or suspicious of her, or ashamed of her. The uneasiness I’m talking about came from a slight doubt in my mind about whether I had seen her somewhere before the morning we met at the doctor’s house. Over and over again, I caught myself wondering if her face didn’t remind me of someone else’s—which someone, I could never figure out. This strange feeling, this question that could never be answered, bothered me more than you would believe. It would come between us at the weirdest times—most often at night, when the candles were lit. You know what it’s like to try and remember a forgotten name—and no matter how hard you search, you can’t find it in your mind. That was me. I couldn’t find my lost face, just like you couldn’t find your lost name.
In three weeks we had talked matters over, and had arranged how I was to make a clean breast of it at home. By Alicia's advice, I was to describe her as having been one of my fellow servants during the time I was employed under my kind master and mistress in London. There was no fear now of my mother taking any harm from the shock of a great surprise. Her health had improved during the three weeks' interval. On the first evening when she was able to take her old place at tea time, I summoned my courage, and told her I was going to be married. The poor soul flung her arms round my neck, and burst out crying for joy. "Oh, Francis!" she says, "I am so glad you will have somebody to comfort you and care for you when I am gone!" As for my aunt Chance, you can anticipate what she did, without being told. Ah, me! If there had really been any prophetic virtue in the cards, what a terrible warning they might have given us that night! It was arranged that I was to bring my promised wife to dinner at the cottage on the next day.
In three weeks, we had talked things over and figured out how I would come clean at home. Following Alicia's advice, I would describe her as one of my fellow servants while I worked for my kind master and mistress in London. There was no worry anymore about my mother being harmed by a big surprise. Her health had improved during those three weeks. On the first evening she was able to sit in her old spot at tea time, I gathered my courage and told her I was getting married. The poor woman threw her arms around my neck and cried tears of joy. "Oh, Francis!" she said, "I am so glad you will have someone to comfort you and take care of you when I'm gone!" As for my Aunt Chance, you can guess what she did without me saying a word. Ah, if the cards had really had any prophetic power, what a terrible warning they might have given us that night! We decided I would bring my fiancée to dinner at the cottage the next day.
X
I own I was proud of Alicia when I led her into our little parlor at the appointed time. She had never, to my mind, looked so beautiful as she looked that day. I never noticed any other woman's dress—I noticed hers as carefully as if I had been a woman myself! She wore a black silk gown, with plain collar and cuffs, and a modest lavender-colored bonnet, with one white rose in it placed at the side. My mother, dressed in her Sunday best, rose up, all in a flutter, to welcome her daughter-in-law that was to be. She walked forward a few steps, half smiling, half in tears—she looked Alicia full in the face—and suddenly stood still. Her cheeks turned white in an instant; her eyes stared in horror; her hands dropped helplessly at her sides. She staggered back, and fell into the arms of my aunt, standing behind her. It was no swoon—she kept her senses. Her eyes turned slowly from Alicia to me. "Francis," she said, "does that woman's face remind you of nothing?".
I admit I was proud of Alicia when I brought her into our little parlor at the arranged time. She had never seemed more beautiful to me than she did that day. I didn’t pay attention to any other woman’s dress—I focused on hers as if I were a woman myself! She wore a simple black silk gown, with a plain collar and cuffs, and a modest lavender bonnet, featuring a single white rose on the side. My mother, dressed in her Sunday best, stood up, all flustered, to welcome her future daughter-in-law. She took a few steps forward, half smiling, half in tears—she looked directly at Alicia—and suddenly froze. Her cheeks turned pale in an instant; her eyes widened in shock; her hands fell limply at her sides. She staggered back and collapsed into my aunt's arms, who was standing behind her. It wasn’t a fainting spell—she remained conscious. Her eyes slowly shifted from Alicia to me. "Francis," she said, "does that woman's face remind you of anything?"
Before I could answer, she pointed to her writing-desk on the table at the fireside. "Bring it!" she cried, "bring it!".
Before I could respond, she pointed to her writing desk on the table by the fireplace. "Bring it!" she exclaimed, "bring it!"
At the same moment I felt Alicia's hand on my shoulder, and saw Alicia's face red with anger—and no wonder!
At that moment, I felt Alicia's hand on my shoulder and saw her face flushed with anger—and I couldn't blame her!
"What does this mean?" she asked. "Does your mother want to insult me?".
"What does this mean?" she asked. "Does your mom want to insult me?"
I said a few words to quiet her; what they were I don't remember—I was so confused and astonished at the time. Before I had done, I heard my mother behind me.
I said a few words to calm her down; I can’t recall what they were—I was so confused and shocked at that moment. Before I finished, I heard my mother behind me.
My aunt had fetched her desk. She had opened it; she had taken a paper from it. Step by step, helping herself along by the wall, she came nearer and nearer, with the paper in her hand. She looked at the paper—she looked in Alicia's face—she lifted the long, loose sleeve of her gown, and examined her hand and arm. I saw fear suddenly take the place of anger in Alicia's eyes. She shook herself free of my mother's grasp. "Mad!" she said to herself, "and Francis never told me!" With those words she ran out of the room.
My aunt had brought over her desk. She opened it and took out a piece of paper. Step by step, using the wall for support, she approached closer, holding the paper. She glanced at the paper—then at Alicia's face—she lifted the long, loose sleeve of her dress and checked her hand and arm. I saw fear replace anger in Alicia's eyes all of a sudden. She freed herself from my mother's hold. "Mad!" she muttered to herself, "and Francis never told me!" With that, she dashed out of the room.
I was hastening out after her, when my mother signed to me to stop. She read the words written on the paper. While they fell slowly, one by one, from her lips, she pointed toward the open door.
I was rushing after her when my mom gestured for me to stop. She read the words written on the paper. As they came out slowly, one by one, from her lips, she pointed toward the open door.
"Light gray eyes, with a droop in the left eyelid. Flaxen hair, with a gold-yellow streak in it. White arms, with a down upon them. Little, lady's hand, with a rosy-red look about the finger nails. The Dream Woman, Francis! The Dream Woman!"
"Light gray eyes with a droopy left eyelid. Blond hair with a golden streak in it. Pale arms with a fine layer of hair. Tiny, feminine hand with rosy-red fingernails. The Dream Woman, Francis! The Dream Woman!"
Something darkened the parlor window as those words were spoken. I looked sidelong at the shadow. Alicia Warlock had come back! She was peering in at us over the low window blind. There was the fatal face which had first looked at me in the bedroom of the lonely inn. There, resting on the window blind, was the lovely little hand which had held the murderous knife. I had seen her before we met in the village. The Dream Woman! The Dream Woman!
Something darkened the parlor window as those words were spoken. I glanced at the shadow. Alicia Warlock was back! She was peering in at us over the low window blind. There was the deadly face that had first looked at me in the bedroom of that lonely inn. There, resting on the window blind, was the beautiful little hand that had held the murderous knife. I had seen her before we met in the village. The Dream Woman! The Dream Woman!
XI
I expect nobody to approve of what I have next to tell of myself. In three weeks from the day when my mother had identified her with the Woman of the Dream, I took Alicia Warlock to church, and made her my wife. I was a man bewitched. Again and again I say it—I was a man bewitched!
I don't expect anyone to approve of what I'm about to share about myself. Three weeks after my mother identified her as the Woman of the Dream, I took Alicia Warlock to church and married her. I was a man under a spell. Again and again, I say it—I was a man under a spell!
During the interval before my marriage, our little household at the cottage was broken up. My mother and my aunt quarreled. My mother, believing in the Dream, entreated me to break off my engagement. My aunt, believing in the cards, urged me to marry.
During the time before my wedding, our small household at the cottage fell apart. My mom and my aunt fought. My mom, who believed in the Dream, begged me to end my engagement. My aunt, who believed in the cards, encouraged me to get married.
This difference of opinion produced a dispute between them, in the course of which my aunt Chance—quite unconscious of having any superstitious feelings of her own—actually set out the cards which prophesied happiness to me in my married life, and asked my mother how anybody but "a blinded heathen could be fule enough, after seeing those cairds, to believe in a dream!" This was, naturally, too much for my mother's patience; hard words followed on either side; Mrs. Chance returned in dudgeon to her friends in Scotland. She left me a written statement of my future prospects, as revealed by the cards, and with it an address at which a post-office order would reach her. "The day was not that far off," she remarked, "when Francie might remember what he owed to his aunt Chance, maintaining her ain unbleemished widowhood on thratty punds a year."
This difference of opinion led to an argument between them, during which my aunt Chance—completely unaware of any superstitious feelings she had—actually laid out the cards that predicted happiness for me in my married life, and asked my mother how anyone but "a blinded heathen could be foolish enough, after seeing those cards, to believe in a dream!" This was, of course, too much for my mother's patience; harsh words were exchanged on both sides; Mrs. Chance left angrily to join her friends in Scotland. She left me a written statement of my future prospects as revealed by the cards, along with an address where a post-office order would reach her. "The day isn’t far off," she noted, "when Francie might remember what he owes to his aunt Chance, who is maintaining her own unblemished widowhood on thirty pounds a year."
Having refused to give her sanction to my marriage, my mother also refused to be present at the wedding, or to visit Alicia afterwards. There was no anger at the bottom of this conduct on her part. Believing as she did in this Dream, she was simply in mortal fear of my wife. I understood this, and I made allowances for her. Not a cross word passed between us. My one happy remembrance now—though I did disobey her in the matter of my marriage—is this: I loved and respected my good mother to the last.
Having refused to give her approval for my marriage, my mother also declined to attend the wedding or visit Alicia afterward. There was no anger behind her behavior. Since she believed so strongly in this Dream, she was simply afraid of my wife. I understood this, and I made allowances for her. Not a harsh word passed between us. My one happy memory now—although I went against her wishes regarding my marriage—is this: I loved and respected my good mother until the end.
As for my wife, she expressed no regret at the estrangement between her mother-in-law and herself. By common consent, we never spoke on that subject. We settled in the manufacturing town which I have already mentioned, and we kept a lodging-house. My kind master, at my request, granted me a lump sum in place of my annuity. This put us into a good house, decently furnished. For a while things went well enough. I may describe myself at this time of my life as a happy man.
As for my wife, she showed no regret about the distance between her and her mother-in-law. By mutual agreement, we never discussed it. We settled in the manufacturing town I mentioned before and ran a boarding house. My generous employer, at my request, gave me a lump sum instead of my retirement pension. This allowed us to move into a nice house, furnished properly. For a while, everything went fairly well. I could say that I was a happy man during this time in my life.
My misfortunes began with a return of the complaint with which my mother had already suffered. The doctor confessed, when I asked him the question, that there was danger to be dreaded this time. Naturally, after hearing this, I was a good deal away at the cottage. Naturally also, I left the business of looking after the house, in my absence, to my wife. Little by little, I found her beginning to alter toward me. While my back was turned, she formed acquaintances with people of the doubtful and dissipated sort. One day, I observed something in her manner which forced the suspicion on me that she had been drinking. Before the week was out, my suspicion was a certainty. From keeping company with drunkards, she had grown to be a drunkard herself.
My troubles started again when my mom’s illness came back. When I asked the doctor about it, he admitted there was a serious risk this time. Naturally, after hearing that, I spent a lot of time at the cottage. And, of course, I left the responsibility of taking care of the house to my wife while I was gone. Slowly, I noticed her starting to change towards me. While I wasn’t around, she began to hang out with people who had questionable habits. One day, I noticed something in her behavior that made me suspect she had been drinking. By the end of the week, my suspicion became certain. By hanging out with drinkers, she had become one herself.
I did all a man could do to reclaim her. Quite useless! She had never really returned the love I felt for her: I had no influence; I could do nothing. My mother, hearing of this last worse trouble, resolved to try what her influence could do. Ill as she was, I found her one day dressed to go out.
I did everything I could to win her back. It was pointless! She had never truly reciprocated the love I had for her: I had no power; I couldn't change anything. My mother, upon hearing about this latest setback, decided to see what her influence could accomplish. Despite her illness, I found her one day ready to go out.
"I am not long for this world, Francis," she said. "I shall not feel easy on my deathbed, unless I have done my best to the last to make you happy. I mean to put my own fears and my own feelings out of the question, and go with you to your wife, and try what I can do to reclaim her. Take me home with you, Francis. Let me do all I can to help my son, before it is too late."
"I won't be here much longer, Francis," she said. "I won’t feel right on my deathbed unless I've done everything I can to make you happy. I plan to set aside my own fears and feelings, and go with you to your wife, to see what I can do to help her. Take me home with you, Francis. Let me do everything I can to support my son before it's too late."
How could I disobey her? We took the railway to the town: it was only half an hour's ride. By one o'clock in the afternoon we reached my house. It was our dinner hour, and Alicia was in the kitchen. I was able to take my mother quietly into the parlor and then to prepare my wife for the visit. She had drunk but little at that early hour; and, luckily, the devil in her was tamed for the time.
How could I go against her wishes? We took the train to town; it was only a half-hour ride. By one o'clock in the afternoon, we arrived at my house. It was dinner time, and Alicia was in the kitchen. I managed to bring my mother quietly into the living room and then get my wife ready for the visit. She hadn’t had much to drink yet that early in the day; and fortunately, the wild side of her was under control for the moment.
She followed me into the parlor, and the meeting passed off better than I had ventured to forecast; with this one drawback, that my mother—though she tried hard to control herself—shrank from looking my wife in the face when she spoke to her. It was a relief to me when Alicia began to prepare the table for dinner.
She followed me into the living room, and the visit went better than I expected; the only downside was that my mother—though she made a real effort to keep it together—avoided making eye contact with my wife when she talked to her. I felt relieved when Alicia started to set the table for dinner.
She laid the cloth, brought in the bread tray, and cut some slices for us from the loaf. Then she returned to the kitchen. At that moment, while I was still anxiously watching my mother, I was startled by seeing the same ghastly change pass over her face which had altered it in the morning when Alicia and she first met. Before I could say a word, she started up with a look of horror.
She set the table, brought in the bread tray, and cut some slices from the loaf for us. Then she went back to the kitchen. At that moment, while I was still nervously watching my mother, I was shocked to see the same disturbing change wash over her face that had changed it earlier that morning when Alicia and she first met. Before I could say anything, she jumped up with a look of terror.
"Take me back!—home, home again, Francis! Come with me, and never go back more!"
"Take me back!—home, home again, Francis! Come with me, and never go back again!"
I was afraid to ask for an explanation; I could only sign her to be silent, and help her quickly to the door. As we passed the bread tray on the table, she stopped and pointed to it.
I was too scared to ask for an explanation; I could only gesture for her to be quiet and quickly guide her to the door. As we walked past the bread tray on the table, she paused and pointed at it.
"Did you see what your wife cut your bread with?" she asked.
"Did you see what your wife used to cut your bread?" she asked.
"No, mother; I was not noticing. What was it?"
"No, Mom; I wasn’t paying attention. What was it?"
"Look!"
"Check it out!"
I did look. A new clasp knife, with a buckhorn handle, lay with the loaf in the bread tray. I stretched out my hand to possess myself of it. At the same moment, there was a noise in the kitchen, and my mother caught me by the arm.
I did look. A new pocket knife, with a buckhorn handle, was lying with the loaf in the bread tray. I reached out to grab it. At the same time, there was a noise in the kitchen, and my mom grabbed my arm.
"The knife of the Dream! Francis, I'm faint with fear—take me away before she comes back!"
"The Dream's knife! Francis, I'm terrified—get me out of here before she returns!"
I couldn't speak to comfort or even to answer her. Superior as I was to superstition, the discovery of the knife staggered me. In silence, I helped my mother out of the house; and took her home.
I couldn't talk to comfort or even to respond to her. Even though I was above superstition, finding the knife shocked me. Quietly, I helped my mother out of the house and took her home.
I held out my hand to say good-by. She tried to stop me.
I reached out my hand to say goodbye. She tried to stop me.
"Don't go back, Francis! don't go back!".
"Don't go back, Francis! Don't go back!"
"I must get the knife, mother. I must go back by the next train." I held to that resolution. By the next train I went back.
"I need to get the knife, Mom. I have to go back on the next train." I stuck to that decision. I went back on the next train.
XII
My wife had, of course, discovered our secret departure from the house. She had been drinking. She was in a fury of passion. The dinner in the kitchen was flung under the grate; the cloth was off the parlor table. Where was the knife?
My wife had, of course, found out about our secret departure from the house. She had been drinking. She was furious. The dinner in the kitchen was thrown under the grate; the tablecloth was off the living room table. Where was the knife?
I was foolish enough to ask for it. She refused to give it to me. In the course of the dispute between us which followed, I discovered that there was a horrible story attached to the knife. It had been used in a murder—years since—and had been so skillfully hidden that the authorities had been unable to produce it at the trial. By help of some of her disreputable friends, my wife had been able to purchase this relic of a bygone crime. Her perverted nature set some horrid unacknowledged value on the knife. Seeing there was no hope of getting it by fair means, I determined to search for it, later in the day, in secret. The search was unsuccessful. Night came on, and I left the house to walk about the streets. You will understand what a broken man I was by this time, when I tell you I was afraid to sleep in the same room with her!
I was dumb enough to ask for it. She wouldn’t give it to me. During the argument that followed, I found out there was a terrible story behind the knife. It had been used in a murder—years ago—and had been hidden so well that the police couldn’t find it for the trial. With the help of some of her shady friends, my wife managed to get her hands on this memento of a past crime. Her twisted nature placed some sick, unacknowledged value on the knife. Realizing there was no chance of getting it fairly, I decided to search for it later in the day, secretly. The search didn’t go well. Night fell, and I left the house to wander the streets. You can imagine how broken I was by then, considering I was scared to sleep in the same room with her!
Three weeks passed. Still she refused to give up the knife; and still that fear of sleeping in the same room with her possessed me. I walked about at night, or dozed in the parlor, or sat watching by my mother's bedside. Before the end of the first week in the new month, the worst misfortune of all befell me—my mother died. It wanted then but a short time to my birthday. She had longed to live till that day. I was present at her death. Her last words in this world were addressed to me. "Don't go back, my son—don't go back!"
Three weeks went by. She still wouldn’t let go of the knife, and that fear of sleeping in the same room with her still haunted me. I wandered around at night, dozed off in the living room, or sat by my mother’s bedside. By the end of the first week of the new month, the worst tragedy hit me—my mother died. It was only a short time until my birthday. She had wanted to live until that day. I was there when she passed away. Her last words in this world were directed at me: "Don't go back, my son—don't go back!"
I was obliged to go back, if it was only to watch my wife. In the last days of my mother's illness she had spitefully added a sting to my grief by declaring she would assert her right to attend the funeral. In spite of all that I could do or say, she held to her word. On the day appointed for the burial she forced herself, inflamed and shameless with drink, into my presence, and swore she would walk in the funeral procession to my mother's grave.
I had to go back, even if it was just to keep an eye on my wife. In the last days of my mother’s illness, she had cruelly added to my pain by insisting that she would attend the funeral. No matter what I said or did, she stuck to her word. On the day of the burial, she pushed her way into my presence, intoxicated and brazen, and declared that she would walk in the funeral procession to my mother’s grave.
This last insult—after all I had gone through already—was more than I could endure. It maddened me. Try to make allowances for a man beside himself. I struck her.
This last insult—after everything I had already been through—was more than I could handle. It drove me crazy. Try to understand a man who's lost it. I hit her.
The instant the blow was dealt, I repented it. She crouched down, silent, in a corner of the room, and eyed me steadily. It was a look that cooled my hot blood in an instant. There was no time now to think of making atonement. I could only risk the worst, and make sure of her till the funeral was over. I locked her into her bedroom.
The moment I struck, I regretted it. She huddled silently in a corner of the room, watching me intently. It was a gaze that instantly chilled my anger. There was no time to consider making amends. I could only brace for the worst and keep her safe until the funeral was over. I locked her in her bedroom.
When I came back, after laying my mother in the grave, I found her sitting by the bedside, very much altered in look and bearing, with a bundle on her lap. She faced me quietly; she spoke with a curious stillness in her voice—strangely and unnaturally composed in look and manner.
When I returned, after burying my mother, I saw her sitting by the bedside, looking very different in appearance and demeanor, with a bundle on her lap. She looked at me calmly; she spoke with an odd stillness in her voice—strangely and unnaturally composed in look and behavior.
"No man has ever struck me yet," she said. "My husband shall have no second opportunity. Set the door open, and let me go."
"No man has ever hit me," she said. "My husband won't get a second chance. Open the door and let me leave."
She passed me, and left the room. I saw her walk away up the street. Was she gone for good?
She walked past me and left the room. I watched her walk away up the street. Was she gone for good?
All that night I watched and waited. No footstep came near the house. The next night, overcome with fatigue, I lay down on the bed in my clothes, with the door locked, the key on the table, and the candle burning. My slumber was not disturbed. The third night, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth, passed, and nothing happened. I lay down on the seventh night, still suspicious of something happening; still in my clothes; still with the door locked, the key on the table, and the candle burning.
All that night I watched and waited. No footsteps approached the house. The next night, exhausted, I lay down on the bed in my clothes, with the door locked, the key on the table, and the candle burning. I slept soundly. The third night, the fourth, the fifth, and the sixth passed, and nothing happened. On the seventh night, I lay down again, still wary of something happening; still in my clothes; still with the door locked, the key on the table, and the candle burning.
My rest was disturbed. I awoke twice, without any sensation of uneasiness. The third time, that horrid shivering of the night at the lonely inn, that awful sinking pain at the heart, came back again, and roused me in an instant. My eyes turned to the left-hand side of the bed. And there stood, looking at me—
My sleep was interrupted. I woke up twice without feeling anxious. The third time, that dreadful chill from the night at the lonely inn, that terrible ache in my chest, returned and jolted me awake. I looked to the left side of the bed. And there stood, staring at me—
The Dream Woman again? No! My wife. The living woman, with the face of the Dream—in the attitude of the Dream—the fair arm up; the knife clasped in the delicate white hand.
The Dream Woman again? No! My wife. The real woman, with the face of the Dream—in the pose of the Dream—the fair arm raised; the knife held in the delicate white hand.
I sprang upon her on the instant; but not quickly enough to stop her from hiding the knife. Without a word from me, without a cry from her, I pinioned her in a chair. With one hand I felt up her sleeve; and there, where the Dream Woman had hidden the knife, my wife had hidden it—the knife with the buckhorn handle, that looked like new.
I jumped at her right away, but not fast enough to prevent her from hiding the knife. Without saying a word or her making a sound, I pinned her in a chair. With one hand, I reached up her sleeve; and there, where the Dream Woman had concealed the knife, my wife had hidden it—the knife with the buckhorn handle that looked brand new.
What I felt when I made that discovery I could not realize at the time, and I can't describe now. I took one steady look at her with the knife in my hand. "You meant to kill me?" I said.
What I felt when I made that discovery, I couldn't understand at the time, and I can't explain it now. I took a steady look at her with the knife in my hand. "You intended to kill me?" I asked.
"Yes," she answered; "I meant to kill you." She crossed her arms over her bosom, and stared me coolly in the face. "I shall do it yet," she said. "With that knife."
"Yeah," she replied; "I meant to kill you." She crossed her arms over her chest and looked me straight in the eye. "I’ll do it eventually," she said. "With that knife."
I don't know what possessed me—I swear to you I am no coward; and yet I acted like a coward. The horrors got hold of me. I couldn't look at her—I couldn't speak to her. I left her (with the knife in my hand), and went out into the night.
I don't know what got into me—I promise I'm not a coward; but still, I acted like one. The fear overwhelmed me. I couldn't look at her—I couldn't talk to her. I left her (with the knife in my hand) and went out into the night.
There was a bleak wind abroad, and the smell of rain was in the air. The church clocks chimed the quarter as I walked beyond the last house in the town. I asked the first policeman I met what hour that was, of which the quarter past had just struck.
There was a cold wind blowing, and I could smell rain in the air. The church clocks chimed quarter past as I walked past the last house in town. I asked the first police officer I saw what time it was since it had just struck quarter past.
The man looked at his watch, and answered, "Two o'clock." Two in the morning. What day of the month was this day that had just begun? I reckoned it up from the date of my mother's funeral. The horrid parallel between the dream and the reality was complete—it was my birthday!
The man checked his watch and replied, "Two o'clock." Two in the morning. What day of the month was this new day? I figured it out from the date of my mother's funeral. The awful similarity between the dream and the reality was undeniable—it was my birthday!
Had I escaped, the mortal peril which the dream foretold? or had I only received a second warning? As that doubt crossed my mind I stopped on my way out of the town. The air had revived me—I felt in some degree like my own self again. After a little thinking, I began to see plainly the mistake I had made in leaving my wife free to go where she liked and to do as she pleased.
Had I really escaped the deadly danger that the dream predicted, or was this just a second warning? As that uncertainty filled my mind, I paused on my way out of town. The fresh air had refreshed me—I felt somewhat like my old self again. After a bit of reflection, I started to clearly see the mistake I had made in allowing my wife the freedom to go wherever she wanted and do whatever she pleased.
I turned instantly, and made my way back to the house. It was still dark. I had left the candle burning in the bedchamber. When I looked up to the window of the room now, there was no light in it. I advanced to the house door. On going away, I remembered to have closed it; on trying it now, I found it open.
I turned right away and headed back to the house. It was still dark. I had left the candle burning in the bedroom. When I looked up at the window of that room now, there was no light in it. I walked up to the door. As I left, I remembered closing it; now, when I tried it, I found it open.
I waited outside, never losing sight of the house till daylight. Then I ventured indoors—listened, and heard nothing—looked into the kitchen, scullery, parlor, and found nothing—went up at last into the bedroom. It was empty.
I waited outside, keeping my eyes on the house until morning. Then I stepped inside—listened and heard nothing—peeked into the kitchen, pantry, and living room, and found nothing—finally went up to the bedroom. It was empty.
A picklock lay on the floor, which told me how she had gained entrance in the night. And that was the one trace I could find of the Dream Woman.
A picklock was lying on the floor, which showed me how she had gotten in during the night. And that was the only clue I could find about the Dream Woman.
XIII
I waited in the house till the town was astir for the day, and then I went to consult a lawyer. In the confused state of my mind at the time, I had one clear notion of what I meant to do: I was determined to sell my house and leave the neighborhood. There were obstacles in the way which I had not counted on. I was told I had creditors to satisfy before I could leave—I, who had given my wife the money to pay my bills regularly every week! Inquiry showed that she had embezzled every farthing of the money I had intrusted to her. I had no choice but to pay over again.
I waited in the house until the town was bustling with activity for the day, and then I went to see a lawyer. In my confused state of mind at the time, I had one clear idea of what I wanted to do: I was set on selling my house and moving away from the neighborhood. However, there were unexpected obstacles in my way. I was informed that I had creditors to settle before I could leave—I, who had given my wife the money to pay my bills on time every week! After looking into it, I discovered that she had stolen every penny of the money I had trusted her with. I had no choice but to pay all over again.
Placed in this awkward position, my first duty was to set things right, with the help of my lawyer. During my forced sojourn in the town I did two foolish things. And, as a consequence that followed, I heard once more, and heard for the last time, of my wife.
Placed in this awkward situation, my first responsibility was to fix things with the help of my lawyer. During my unwanted stay in town, I made two stupid mistakes. As a result, I heard about my wife once more, and for the last time.
In the first place, having got possession of the knife, I was rash enough to keep it in my pocket. In the second place, having something of importance to say to my lawyer, at a late hour of the evening, I went to his house after dark—alone and on foot. I got there safely enough. Returning, I was seized on from behind by two men, dragged down a passage and robbed—not only of the little money I had about me, but also of the knife. It was the lawyer's opinion (as it was mine) that the thieves were among the disreputable acquaintances formed by my wife, and that they had attacked me at her instigation. To confirm this view I received a letter the next day, without date or address, written in Alicia's hand. The first line informed me that the knife was back again in her possession. The second line reminded me of the day when I struck her. The third line warned me that she would wash out the stain of that blow in my blood, and repeated the words, "I shall do it with the knife!"
First of all, after getting the knife, I was reckless enough to keep it in my pocket. Secondly, needing to discuss something important with my lawyer late in the evening, I walked to his house alone after dark. I arrived there without any issues. On my way back, I was attacked from behind by two men, dragged down a passage, and robbed—not just of the small amount of money I had on me, but also of the knife. The lawyer agreed with me that the thieves were likely among the shady acquaintances my wife had made, and that they had targeted me at her suggestion. To support this belief, I received a letter the next day, which had no date or address, written in Alicia’s handwriting. The first line told me that the knife was back in her possession. The second line reminded me about the day I hit her. The third line warned me that she would erase the stain of that blow with my blood, repeating the words, “I shall do it with the knife!”
These things happened a year ago. The law laid hands on the men who had robbed me; but from that time to this, the law has failed completely to find a trace of my wife.
These things happened a year ago. The law took action against the men who robbed me; but since then, the law has completely failed to find any trace of my wife.
My story is told. When I had paid the creditors and paid the legal expenses, I had barely five pounds left out of the sale of my house; and I had the world to begin over again. Some months since—drifting here and there—I found my way to Underbridge. The landlord of the inn had known something of my father's family in times past. He gave me (all he had to give) my food, and shelter in the yard. Except on market days, there is nothing to do. In the coming winter the inn is to be shut up, and I shall have to shift for myself. My old master would help me if I applied to him—but I don't like to apply: he has done more for me already than I deserve. Besides, in another year who knows but my troubles may all be at an end? Next winter will bring me nigh to my next birthday, and my next birthday may be the day of my death. Yes! it's true I sat up all last night; and I heard two in the morning strike: and nothing happened. Still, allowing for that, the time to come is a time I don't trust. My wife has got the knife—my wife is looking for me. I am above superstition, mind! I don't say I believe in dreams; I only say, Alicia Warlock is looking for me. It is possible I may be wrong. It is possible I may be right. Who can tell?
My story is told. After I settled my debts and paid the legal fees, I was left with barely five pounds from the sale of my house, and I had to start all over again. A few months ago—drifting from place to place—I ended up in Underbridge. The innkeeper recognized my father's family from years ago. He offered me what little he could—my meals and a spot to sleep in the yard. There’s not much to do except on market days. This winter, the inn will close down, and I’ll have to fend for myself. My former boss would help me if I reached out to him—but I hesitate to do that: he’s already done more for me than I deserve. Besides, in a year’s time, who knows? Maybe my struggles will all be over. Next winter will be close to my next birthday, and who knows if that birthday could be my last? Yes, it's true, I stayed up all night; I heard the clock strike two in the morning, and nothing happened. Still, considering that, I don't trust what lies ahead. My wife has the knife—she’s looking for me. I'm not superstitious, mind you! I don't claim to believe in dreams; I only say that Alicia Warlock is searching for me. I could be wrong. I could be right. Who can say?
THE THIRD NARRATIVE
THE STORY CONTINUED BY PERCY FAIRBANK
XIV
We took leave of Francis Raven at the door of Farleigh Hall, with the understanding that he might expect to hear from us again.
We said goodbye to Francis Raven at the door of Farleigh Hall, knowing that he could expect to hear from us again.
The same night Mrs. Fairbank and I had a discussion in the sanctuary of our own room. The topic was "The Hostler's Story"; and the question in dispute between us turned on the measure of charitable duty that we owed to the hostler himself.
The same night, Mrs. Fairbank and I had a conversation in the privacy of our own room. The topic was "The Hostler's Story," and the issue we were debating was how much charitable duty we owed to the hostler himself.
The view I took of the man's narrative was of the purely matter-of-fact kind. Francis Raven had, in my opinion, brooded over the misty connection between his strange dream and his vile wife, until his mind was in a state of partial delusion on that subject. I was quite willing to help him with a trifle of money, and to recommend him to the kindness of my lawyer, if he was really in any danger and wanted advice. There my idea of my duty toward this afflicted person began and ended.
The way I saw the man's story was very straightforward. In my view, Francis Raven had spent too much time worrying about the unclear link between his strange dream and his problematic wife, and it had caused him to have a sort of delusion about it. I was totally willing to help him with a little bit of money and to refer him to my lawyer's generosity if he was really in any trouble and needed advice. That was where my sense of duty toward this troubled person started and stopped.
Confronted with this sensible view of the matter, Mrs. Fairbank's romantic temperament rushed, as usual, into extremes. "I should no more think of losing sight of Francis Raven when his next birthday comes round," says my wife, "than I should think of laying down a good story with the last chapters unread. I am positively determined, Percy, to take him back with us when we return to France, in the capacity of groom. What does one man more or less among the horses matter to people as rich as we are?" In this strain the partner of my joys and sorrows ran on, perfectly impenetrable to everything that I could say on the side of common sense. Need I tell my married brethren how it ended? Of course I allowed my wife to irritate me, and spoke to her sharply.
Faced with this sensible perspective, Mrs. Fairbank's romantic side went full steam ahead, as always. "I wouldn’t dream of losing track of Francis Raven when his next birthday comes around," my wife says, "any more than I would think of putting down a good book with the last chapters unread. I am absolutely determined, Percy, to bring him back with us when we go back to France, as our groom. What does it matter to people as wealthy as we are if there's one more man among the horses?" My partner in joy and sorrow continued in this way, completely oblivious to anything I said in favor of common sense. Should I tell my fellow married friends how it all turned out? Of course, I let my wife get under my skin and spoke to her sharply.
Of course my wife turned her face away indignantly on the conjugal pillow, and burst into tears. Of course upon that, "Mr." made his excuses, and "Mrs." had her own way.
Of course, my wife turned her face away in indignation on the marital pillow and started to cry. Naturally, after that, "Mr." made his excuses while "Mrs." did things her way.
Before the week was out we rode over to Underbridge, and duly offered to Francis Raven a place in our service as supernumerary groom.
Before the week was over, we rode over to Underbridge and formally offered Francis Raven a position in our service as an extra groom.
At first the poor fellow seemed hardly able to realize his own extraordinary good fortune. Recovering himself, he expressed his gratitude modestly and becomingly. Mrs. Fairbank's ready sympathies overflowed, as usual, at her lips. She talked to him about our home in France, as if the worn, gray-headed hostler had been a child. "Such a dear old house, Francis; and such pretty gardens! Stables! Stables ten times as big as your stables here—quite a choice of rooms for you. You must learn the name of our house—Maison Rouge. Our nearest town is Metz. We are within a walk of the beautiful River Moselle. And when we want a change we have only to take the railway to the frontier, and find ourselves in Germany."
At first, the poor guy could hardly believe his incredible luck. Once he gathered himself, he expressed his thanks in a humble and polite manner. Mrs. Fairbank's usual warm sympathy poured out of her. She chatted with him about our home in France, as if the worn, gray-headed stable worker were a child. "What a lovely old house, Francis; and such beautiful gardens! Stables! Stables that are ten times bigger than your stables here—plenty of rooms for you. You have to learn the name of our house—Maison Rouge. Our nearest town is Metz. We're just a walk from the beautiful River Moselle. And when we want a change, we just take the train to the border and find ourselves in Germany."
Listening, so far, with a very bewildered face, Francis started and changed color when my wife reached the end of her last sentence. "Germany?" he repeated.
Listening, looking very confused, Francis jumped and changed color when my wife finished her last sentence. "Germany?" he repeated.
"Yes. Does Germany remind you of anything?"
"Yeah. Does Germany make you think of anything?"
The hostler's eyes looked down sadly on the ground. "Germany reminds me of my wife," he replied.
The hostler looked down at the ground with a sad expression. "Germany makes me think of my wife," he said.
"Indeed! How?"
"Definitely! How?"
"She once told me she had lived in Germany—long before I knew her—in the time when she was a young girl."
"She once told me she had lived in Germany—long before I met her—in the time when she was a young girl."
"Was she living with relations or friends?"
"Was she living with family or friends?"
"She was living as governess in a foreign family."
"She was working as a governess for a foreign family."
"In what part of Germany?"
"Which part of Germany?"
"I don't remember, ma'am. I doubt if she told me."
"I don't remember, ma'am. I don’t think she told me."
"Did she tell you the name of the family?"
"Did she tell you the name of the family?"
"Yes, ma'am. It was a foreign name, and it has slipped my memory long since. The head of the family was a wine grower in a large way of business—I remember that."
"Yes, ma'am. It was a foreign name, and it has slipped my memory a long time ago. The head of the family was a major wine grower—I remember that."
"Did you hear what sort of wine he grew? There are wine growers in our neighborhood. Was it Moselle wine?"
"Did you hear what kind of wine he grew? There are winemakers in our neighborhood. Was it Moselle wine?"
"I couldn't say, ma'am, I doubt if I ever heard."
"I can't say, ma'am, I don't think I've ever heard."
There the conversation dropped. We engaged to communicate with Francis Raven before we left England, and took our leave. I had made arrangements to pay our round of visits to English friends, and to return to Maison Rouge in the summer. On the eve of departure, certain difficulties in connection with the management of some landed property of mine in Ireland obliged us to alter our plans. Instead of getting back to our house in France in the Summer, we only returned a week or two before Christmas. Francis Raven accompanied us, and was duly established, in the nominal capacity of stable keeper, among the servants at Maison Rouge.
The conversation came to a halt. We planned to speak with Francis Raven before leaving England and said our goodbyes. I had made plans to visit our friends in England and to return to Maison Rouge in the summer. However, just before we left, some issues with the management of my property in Ireland forced us to change our plans. Instead of returning to our house in France in the summer, we ended up going back a week or two before Christmas. Francis Raven came with us and was officially set up as the stable keeper among the staff at Maison Rouge.
Before long, some of the objections to taking him into our employment, which I had foreseen and had vainly mentioned to my wife, forced themselves on our attention in no very agreeable form. Francis Raven failed (as I had feared he would) to get on smoothly with his fellow-servants They were all French; and not one of them understood English. Francis, on his side, was equally ignorant of French. His reserved manners, his melancholy temperament, his solitary ways—all told against him. Our servants called him "the English Bear." He grew widely known in the neighborhood under his nickname. Quarrels took place, ending once or twice in blows. It became plain, even to Mrs. Fairbank herself, that some wise change must be made. While we were still considering what the change was to be, the unfortunate hostler was thrown on our hands for some time to come by an accident in the stables. Still pursued by his proverbial ill-luck, the poor wretch's leg was broken by a kick from a horse.
Before long, some of the concerns about hiring him, which I had anticipated and had unsuccessfully mentioned to my wife, became impossible to ignore. Francis Raven struggled (just as I had feared he would) to get along with his fellow workers. They were all French, and none of them understood English. Francis, for his part, was just as clueless about French. His reserved demeanor, his gloomy personality, and his tendency to keep to himself all worked against him. Our staff referred to him as "the English Bear." He became quite well-known in the area by that nickname. Conflicts arose, sometimes ending in physical fights. It became obvious, even to Mrs. Fairbank, that some sensible change needed to happen. While we were still trying to figure out what that change should be, the unfortunate stable worker ended up in our care for a while due to an accident in the stables. Still plagued by his famous bad luck, the poor guy had his leg broken by a horse kick.
He was attended to by our own surgeon, in his comfortable bedroom at the stables. As the date of his birthday drew near, he was still confined to his bed.
He was looked after by our own surgeon in his cozy bedroom at the stables. As his birthday approached, he was still stuck in bed.
Physically speaking, he was doing very well. Morally speaking, the surgeon was not satisfied. Francis Raven was suffering under some mysterious mental disturbance, which interfered seriously with his rest at night. Hearing this, I thought it my duty to tell the medical attendant what was preying on the patient's mind. As a practical man, he shared my opinion that the hostler was in a state of delusion on the subject of his Wife and his Dream. "Curable delusion, in my opinion," the surgeon added, "if the experiment could be fairly tried."
Physically, he was doing quite well. Morally, the surgeon wasn’t satisfied. Francis Raven was struggling with some mysterious mental issue that seriously affected his sleep at night. Hearing this, I felt it was my duty to inform the medical staff about what was troubling the patient. As a practical person, he agreed with me that the hostler was under a delusion regarding his wife and his dream. "A delusion that can be cured, in my opinion," the surgeon added, "if we could properly try the experiment."
"How can it be tried?" I asked. Instead of replying, the surgeon put a question to me, on his side.
"How can it be tested?" I asked. Instead of answering, the surgeon asked me a question in return.
"Do you happen to know," he said, "that this year is Leap Year?"
"Do you know," he said, "that this year is a Leap Year?"
"Mrs. Fairbank reminded me of it yesterday," I answered. "Otherwise I might not have known it."
"Mrs. Fairbank mentioned it to me yesterday," I replied. "Otherwise, I might not have realized."
"Do you think Francis Raven knows that this year is Leap Year?"
"Do you think Francis Raven knows that this year is a leap year?"
(I began to see dimly what my friend was driving at.)
(I started to faintly understand what my friend was getting at.)
"It depends," I answered, "on whether he has got an English almanac. Suppose he has not got the almanac—what then?"
"It depends," I replied, "on whether he has an English almanac. What if he doesn't have the almanac—then what?"
"In that case," pursued the surgeon, "Francis Raven is innocent of all suspicion that there is a twenty-ninth day in February this year. As a necessary consequence—what will he do? He will anticipate the appearance of the Woman with the Knife, at two in the morning of the twenty-ninth of February, instead of the first of March. Let him suffer all his superstitious terrors on the wrong day. Leave him, on the day that is really his birthday, to pass a perfectly quiet night, and to be as sound asleep as other people at two in the morning. And then, when he wakes comfortably in time for his breakfast, shame him out of his delusion by telling him the truth."
"In that case," the surgeon continued, "Francis Raven has no reason to think there’s a twenty-ninth day in February this year. As a result—what will he do? He'll expect the Woman with the Knife to show up at two in the morning on the twenty-ninth of February, instead of the first of March. Let him deal with all his superstitions on the wrong day. Leave him to have a perfectly calm night on what is actually his birthday, and let him sleep soundly like everyone else at two in the morning. Then, when he wakes up comfortably just in time for breakfast, let’s make sure he sees the truth and gets over his delusion."
I agreed to try the experiment. Leaving the surgeon to caution Mrs. Fairbank on the subject of Leap Year, I went to the stables to see Mr. Raven.
I agreed to give the experiment a shot. While the surgeon took a moment to warn Mrs. Fairbank about Leap Year, I headed to the stables to meet Mr. Raven.
XV
The poor fellow was full of forebodings of the fate in store for him on the ominous first of March. He eagerly entreated me to order one of the men servants to sit up with him on the birthday morning. In granting his request, I asked him to tell me on which day of the week his birthday fell. He reckoned the days on his fingers; and proved his innocence of all suspicion that it was Leap Year, by fixing on the twenty-ninth of February, in the full persuasion that it was the first of March. Pledged to try the surgeon's experiment, I left his error uncorrected, of course. In so doing, I took my first step blindfold toward the last act in the drama of the Hostler's Dream.
The poor guy was filled with worries about what was going to happen to him on the troubling first of March. He eagerly asked me to have one of the male servants stay up with him on his birthday morning. When I agreed to his request, I asked him which day of the week his birthday was. He counted the days on his fingers and showed his complete lack of awareness that it was Leap Year by settling on the twenty-ninth of February, genuinely believing it was the first of March. Committed to trying the surgeon's experiment, I let his mistake go uncorrected, of course. In doing so, I took my first blind step toward the final act in the story of the Hostler's Dream.
The next day brought with it a little domestic difficulty, which indirectly and strangely associated itself with the coming end.
The next day brought a bit of household trouble, which oddly and indirectly connected itself to the approaching end.
My wife received a letter, inviting us to assist in celebrating the "Silver Wedding" of two worthy German neighbors of ours—Mr. and Mrs. Beldheimer. Mr. Beldheimer was a large wine grower on the banks of the Moselle. His house was situated on the frontier line of France and Germany; and the distance from our house was sufficiently considerable to make it necessary for us to sleep under our host's roof. Under these circumstances, if we accepted the invitation, a comparison of dates showed that we should be away from home on the morning of the first of March. Mrs. Fairbank—holding to her absurd resolution to see with her own eyes what might, or might not, happen to Francis Raven on his birthday—flatly declined to leave Maison Rouge. "It's easy to send an excuse," she said, in her off-hand manner.
My wife got a letter inviting us to join in celebrating the "Silver Wedding" of our respectable German neighbors—Mr. and Mrs. Beldheimer. Mr. Beldheimer was a big wine grower along the Moselle River. Their house was right on the border of France and Germany, and it was far enough from ours that we would have to stay overnight at their place. Given this, when we looked at the dates, we realized we would be away from home on the morning of March first. Mrs. Fairbank, sticking to her silly idea of seeing for herself what might or might not happen to Francis Raven on his birthday, firmly refused to leave Maison Rouge. "It’s easy to send an excuse," she said casually.
I failed, for my part, to see any easy way out of the difficulty. The celebration of a "Silver Wedding" in Germany is the celebration of twenty-five years of happy married life; and the host's claim upon the consideration of his friends on such an occasion is something in the nature of a royal "command." After considerable discussion, finding my wife's obstinacy invincible, and feeling that the absence of both of us from the festival would certainly offend our friends, I left Mrs. Fairbank to make her excuses for herself, and directed her to accept the invitation so far as I was concerned. In so doing, I took my second step, blindfold, toward the last act in the drama of the Hostler's Dream.
I couldn't find an easy way out of the situation. The celebration of a "Silver Wedding" in Germany marks twenty-five years of happy marriage, and the host's appeal for the attention of his friends during such an occasion is somewhat like a royal "command." After a lot of discussion, and realizing my wife's determination was unyielding, I felt that if both of us skipped the festival, it would definitely upset our friends. So, I let Mrs. Fairbank handle her own excuses and instructed her to accept the invitation for my sake. By doing this, I took my second step, blindfolded, toward the final act in the story of the Hostler's Dream.
A week elapsed; the last days of February were at hand. Another domestic difficulty happened; and, again, this event also proved to be strangely associated with the coming end.
A week went by; the last days of February were approaching. Another family issue came up; and once again, this event turned out to be oddly linked to the impending conclusion.
My head groom at the stables was one Joseph Rigobert. He was an ill-conditioned fellow, inordinately vain of his personal appearance, and by no means scrupulous in his conduct with women. His one virtue consisted of his fondness for horses, and in the care he took of the animals under his charge. In a word, he was too good a groom to be easily replaced, or he would have quitted my service long since. On the occasion of which I am now writing, he was reported to me by my steward as growing idle and disorderly in his habits. The principal offense alleged against him was, that he had been seen that day in the city of Metz, in the company of a woman (supposed to be an Englishwoman), whom he was entertaining at a tavern, when he ought to have been on his way back to Maison Rouge. The man's defense was that "the lady" (as he called her) was an English stranger, unacquainted with the ways of the place, and that he had only shown her where she could obtain some refreshments at her own request. I administered the necessary reprimand, without troubling myself to inquire further into the matter. In failing to do this, I took my third step, blindfold, toward the last act in the drama of the Hostler's Dream.
My head groom at the stables was a guy named Joseph Rigobert. He was a rude dude, overly obsessed with his looks, and not at all respectful when it came to women. His only good quality was his love for horses and the care he provided for the animals he looked after. In short, he was too skilled as a groom to be easily replaced, or he would have left my service a long time ago. On the occasion I’m writing about now, my steward reported that he was becoming lazy and messy in his habits. The main accusation against him was that he had been seen that day in the city of Metz, with a woman (thought to be English), whom he was treating at a tavern when he should have been heading back to Maison Rouge. His excuse was that "the lady" (as he referred to her) was an English stranger who wasn’t familiar with the area, and he was just showing her where to find some refreshments at her request. I gave him the necessary reprimand, without bothering to look into it any further. By not doing so, I took my third blind step toward the final act in the drama of the Hostler's Dream.
On the evening of the twenty-eighth, I informed the servants at the stables that one of them must watch through the night by the Englishman's bedside. Joseph Rigobert immediately volunteered for the duty—as a means, no doubt, of winning his way back to my favor. I accepted his proposal.
On the evening of the twenty-eighth, I told the stable staff that one of them needed to keep watch by the Englishman’s bedside all night. Joseph Rigobert immediately offered to take on the job—probably hoping to restore my favor. I agreed to his offer.
That day the surgeon dined with us. Toward midnight he and I left the smoking room, and repaired to Francis Raven's bedside. Rigobert was at his post, with no very agreeable expression on his face. The Frenchman and the Englishman had evidently not got on well together so far. Francis Raven lay helpless on his bed, waiting silently for two in the morning and the Dream Woman.
That day, the surgeon had dinner with us. Around midnight, he and I left the smoking room and went to Francis Raven's bedside. Rigobert was there, looking quite unhappy. It was clear that the Frenchman and the Englishman hadn't managed to get along well so far. Francis Raven lay helpless on his bed, silently waiting for two in the morning and the Dream Woman.
"I have come, Francis, to bid you good night," I said, cheerfully. "To-morrow morning I shall look in at breakfast time, before I leave home on a journey."
"I've come, Francis, to say good night," I said cheerfully. "Tomorrow morning, I'll stop by at breakfast before I head out on my trip."
"Thank you for all your kindness, sir. You will not see me alive to-morrow morning. She will find me this time. Mark my words—she will find me this time."
"Thank you for all your kindness, sir. You won’t see me alive tomorrow morning. She will find me this time. Mark my words—she will find me this time."
"My good fellow! she couldn't find you in England. How in the world is she to find you in France?"
"My friend! She couldn't find you in England. How on earth is she supposed to find you in France?"
"It's borne in on my mind, sir, that she will find me here. At two in the morning on my birthday I shall see her again, and see her for the last time."
"It's come to my mind, sir, that she'll find me here. At two in the morning on my birthday, I'll see her again, and it'll be for the last time."
"Do you mean that she will kill you?"
"Are you saying that she will kill you?"
"I mean that, sir, she will kill me—with the knife."
"I mean that, sir, she will kill me—with the knife."
"And with Rigobert in the room to protect you?"
"And with Rigobert in the room to keep you safe?"
"I am a doomed man. Fifty Rigoberts couldn't protect me."
"I’m a doomed man. Fifty Rigoberts can’t save me."
"And you wanted somebody to sit up with you?"
"And you wanted someone to stay up with you?"
"Mere weakness, sir. I don't like to be left alone on my deathbed."
"Mere weakness, sir. I don't want to be left alone on my deathbed."
I looked at the surgeon. If he had encouraged me, I should certainly, out of sheer compassion, have confessed to Francis Raven the trick that we were playing him. The surgeon held to his experiment; the surgeon's face plainly said—"No."
I looked at the surgeon. If he had given me a nod of support, I definitely would have, out of pure sympathy, told Francis Raven about the trick we were pulling on him. The surgeon stuck to his experiment; his expression clearly said—"No."
The next day (the twenty-ninth of February) was the day of the "Silver Wedding." The first thing in the morning, I went to Francis Raven's room. Rigobert met me at the door.
The next day (February 29th) was the day of the "Silver Wedding." The first thing in the morning, I went to Francis Raven's room. Rigobert met me at the door.
"How has he passed the night?" I asked.
"How did he spend the night?" I asked.
"Saying his prayers, and looking for ghosts," Rigobert answered. "A lunatic asylum is the only proper place for him."
"Saying his prayers and looking for ghosts," Rigobert replied. "A mental health facility is the only suitable place for him."
I approached the bedside. "Well, Francis, here you are, safe and sound, in spite of what you said to me last night."
I walked up to the bed. "Well, Francis, here you are, safe and sound, despite what you told me last night."
His eyes rested on mine with a vacant, wondering look.
His eyes locked onto mine with a blank, curious expression.
"I don't understand it," he said.
"I don't get it," he said.
"Did you see anything of your wife when the clock struck two?"
"Did you see your wife at all when the clock hit two?"
"No, sir."
"No way."
"Did anything happen?"
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing happened, sir."
"Nothing happened, sir."
"Doesn't this satisfy you that you were wrong?"
"Doesn't this prove to you that you were wrong?"
His eyes still kept their vacant, wondering look. He only repeated the words he had spoken already: "I don't understand it."
His eyes still had that empty, curious look. He just kept saying the same thing: "I don't understand it."
I made a last attempt to cheer him. "Come, come, Francis! keep a good heart. You will be out of bed in a fortnight."
I made one last attempt to lift his spirits. "Come on, Francis! Stay positive. You'll be back on your feet in two weeks."
He shook his head on the pillow. "There's something wrong," he said. "I don't expect you to believe me, sir. I only say there's something wrong—and time will show it."
He shook his head on the pillow. "Something's not right," he said. "I don't expect you to believe me, sir. I just want to say that something's off—and time will reveal it."
I left the room. Half an hour later I started for Mr. Beldheimer's house; leaving the arrangements for the morning of the first of March in the hands of the doctor and my wife.
I left the room. Half an hour later, I headed to Mr. Beldheimer's house, leaving the plans for the morning of March 1st to the doctor and my wife.
XVI
The one thing which principally struck me when I joined the guests at the "Silver Wedding" is also the one thing which it is necessary to mention here. On this joyful occasion a noticeable lady present was out of spirits. That lady was no other than the heroine of the festival, the mistress of the house!
The one thing that really stood out to me when I joined the guests at the "Silver Wedding" is also the one thing that needs to be mentioned here. On this happy occasion, there was a notable lady who seemed down. That lady was none other than the star of the event, the host of the celebration!
In the course of the evening I spoke to Mr. Beldheimer's eldest son on the subject of his mother. As an old friend of the family, I had a claim on his confidence which the young man willingly recognized.
During the evening, I talked to Mr. Beldheimer's oldest son about his mother. As a longtime family friend, I had a right to his trust, which the young man readily acknowledged.
"We have had a very disagreeable matter to deal with," he said; "and my mother has not recovered the painful impression left on her mind. Many years since, when my sisters were children, we had an English governess in the house. She left us, as we then understood, to be married. We heard no more of her until a week or ten days since, when my mother received a letter, in which our ex-governess described herself as being in a condition of great poverty and distress. After much hesitation she had ventured—at the suggestion of a lady who had been kind to her—to write to her former employers, and to appeal to their remembrance of old times. You know my mother: she is not only the most kind-hearted, but the most innocent of women—it is impossible to persuade her of the wickedness that there is in the world. She replied by return of post, inviting the governess to come here and see her, and inclosing the money for her traveling expenses. When my father came home, and heard what had been done, he wrote at once to his agent in London to make inquiries, inclosing the address on the governess' letter. Before he could receive the agent's reply the governess, arrived. She produced the worst possible impression on his mind. The agent's letter, arriving a few days later, confirmed his suspicions. Since we had lost sight of her, the woman had led a most disreputable life. My father spoke to her privately: he offered—on condition of her leaving the house—a sum of money to take her back to England. If she refused, the alternative would be an appeal to the authorities and a public scandal. She accepted the money, and left the house. On her way back to England she appears to have stopped at Metz. You will understand what sort of woman she is when I tell you that she was seen the other day in a tavern, with your handsome groom, Joseph Rigobert."
"We've had a really unpleasant situation to deal with," he said. "And my mom hasn't gotten over the painful impression it left on her. Many years ago, when my sisters were young, we had an English governess living with us. She left us, or at least we thought, to get married. We didn't hear from her again until about a week or ten days ago, when my mom received a letter in which our former governess described herself as being in a terrible state of poverty and distress. After a lot of hesitation, she decided—at the suggestion of a kind lady—to reach out to her old employers and remind them of the past. You know my mom: she is not only the kindest person, but also the most naive—it's impossible to convince her of the cruelty that exists in the world. She replied immediately, inviting the governess to come and see her, and included money for her travel expenses. When my dad came home and found out what had happened, he quickly wrote to his agent in London to ask for information, including the address from the governess's letter. Before he could get a reply from the agent, the governess arrived. She left a terrible impression on him. A few days later, the agent's letter confirmed his suspicions. Since we last saw her, the woman had lived a very disreputable life. My dad spoke to her privately: he offered her a sum of money to take her back to England, on the condition that she leave our house. If she refused, the alternative would be to involve the authorities and create a public scandal. She accepted the money and left. On her way back to England, it seems she made a stop in Metz. You'll understand what kind of person she is when I tell you that she was seen the other day in a bar with your handsome groom, Joseph Rigobert."
While my informant was relating these circumstances, my memory was at work. I recalled what Francis Raven had vaguely told us of his wife's experience in former days as governess in a German family. A suspicion of the truth suddenly flashed across my mind. "What was the woman's name?" I asked.
While my informant was sharing these details, I was thinking back. I remembered what Francis Raven had vaguely mentioned about his wife's experience years ago as a governess in a German family. A suspicion of the truth suddenly hit me. "What was the woman's name?" I asked.
Mr. Beldheimer's son answered: "Alicia Warlock."
Mr. Beldheimer's son replied, "Alicia Warlock."
I had but one idea when I heard that reply—to get back to my house without a moment's needless delay. It was then ten o'clock at night—the last train to Metz had left long since. I arranged with my young friend—after duly informing him of the circumstances—that I should go by the first train in the morning, instead of staying to breakfast with the other guests who slept in the house.
I had only one thought when I heard that response—getting back to my house without wasting any time. It was already ten o'clock at night—the last train to Metz had long since departed. I talked it over with my young friend—after explaining the situation to him—that I would take the first train in the morning instead of staying for breakfast with the other guests who were sleeping in the house.
At intervals during the night I wondered uneasily how things were going on at Maison Rouge. Again and again the same question occurred to me, on my journey home in the early morning—the morning of the first of March. As the event proved, but one person in my house knew what really happened at the stables on Francis Raven's birthday. Let Joseph Rigobert take my place as narrator, and tell the story of the end to You—as he told it, in times past, to his lawyer and to Me.
At different times throughout the night, I anxiously thought about what was happening at Maison Rouge. Over and over, the same question came to me on my way home early in the morning—the morning of March 1st. As it turned out, only one person in my house knew what truly happened at the stables on Francis Raven's birthday. Let Joseph Rigobert take my place as the storyteller and share the conclusion with you—as he once did, in the past, for his lawyer and for me.
FOURTH (AND LAST) NARRATIVE
STATEMENT OF JOSEPH RIGOBERT: ADDRESSED TO THE ADVOCATE WHO DEFENDED HIM AT HIS TRIAL
Respected Sir,—On the twenty-seventh of February I was sent, on business connected with the stables at Maison Rouge, to the city of Metz. On the public promenade I met a magnificent woman. Complexion, blond. Nationality, English. We mutually admired each other; we fell into conversation. (She spoke French perfectly—with the English accent.) I offered refreshment; my proposal was accepted. We had a long and interesting interview—we discovered that we were made for each other. So far, Who is to blame?
Respected Sir,—On February 27th, I was sent on business related to the stables at Maison Rouge to the city of Metz. While on the public promenade, I encountered a stunning woman. She had a fair complexion and was English. We admired each other and struck up a conversation. (She spoke French fluently but with an English accent.) I offered her some refreshments, and she accepted. We had a long and engaging conversation and realized that we were perfect for one another. So far, who is at fault?
Is it my fault that I am a handsome man—universally agreeable as such to the fair sex? Is it a criminal offense to be accessible to the amiable weakness of love? I ask again, Who is to blame? Clearly, nature. Not the beautiful lady—not my humble self.
Is it my fault that I'm a good-looking guy—universally seen as such by women? Is it a crime to be open to the charming weakness of love? I ask again, who’s to blame? Clearly, it’s nature. Not the beautiful lady—not me.
To resume. The most hard-hearted person living will understand that two beings made for each other could not possibly part without an appointment to meet again.
To sum up, even the coldest person out there would get that two people who are meant for each other can't really break away without planning to meet again.
I made arrangements for the accommodation of the lady in the village near Maison Rouge. She consented to honor me with her company at supper, in my apartment at the stables, on the night of the twenty-ninth. The time fixed on was the time when the other servants were accustomed to retire—eleven o'clock.
I arranged for the lady to stay in the village close to Maison Rouge. She agreed to join me for dinner in my room at the stables on the night of the twenty-ninth. The planned time was when the other staff usually went to bed—eleven o'clock.
Among the grooms attached to the stables was an Englishman, laid up with a broken leg. His name was Francis. His manners were repulsive; he was ignorant of the French language. In the kitchen he went by the nickname of the "English Bear." Strange to say, he was a great favorite with my master and my mistress. They even humored certain superstitious terrors to which this repulsive person was subject—terrors into the nature of which I, as an advanced freethinker, never thought it worth my while to inquire.
Among the grooms working in the stables was an Englishman with a broken leg. His name was Francis. He had terrible manners and didn’t speak any French. In the kitchen, everyone referred to him as the "English Bear." Oddly enough, he was a big favorite of my master and mistress. They even indulged some superstitious fears that he had—fears that I, as a modern free-thinker, never found worth investigating.
On the evening of the twenty-eighth the Englishman, being a prey to the terrors which I have mentioned, requested that one of his fellow servants might sit up with him for that night only. The wish that he expressed was backed by Mr. Fairbank's authority. Having already incurred my master's displeasure—in what way, a proper sense of my own dignity forbids me to relate—I volunteered to watch by the bedside of the English Bear. My object was to satisfy Mr. Fairbank that I bore no malice, on my side, after what had occurred between us. The wretched Englishman passed a night of delirium. Not understanding his barbarous language, I could only gather from his gesture that he was in deadly fear of some fancied apparition at his bedside. From time to time, when this madman disturbed my slumbers, I quieted him by swearing at him. This is the shortest and best way of dealing with persons in his condition.
On the evening of the twenty-eighth, the Englishman, overwhelmed by the fears I mentioned earlier, asked if one of his fellow servants could stay with him that night. His request had Mr. Fairbank's backing. Having already upset my master—in a way that I can't disclose out of respect for my own dignity—I offered to keep watch by the Englishman's bedside. My goal was to show Mr. Fairbank that I held no grudges after our previous encounter. The poor Englishman spent the night in a feverish state. Not understanding his strange language, I could only pick up from his gestures that he was terrified of some imagined ghost by his bedside. Occasionally, when this frantic man interrupted my sleep, I calmed him down by yelling at him. That’s the most effective way to handle people in his state.
On the morning of the twenty-ninth, Mr. Fairbank left us on a journey. Later in the day, to my unspeakable disgust, I found that I had not done with the Englishman yet. In Mr. Fairbank's absence, Mrs. Fairbank took an incomprehensible interest in the question of my delirious fellow servant's repose at night. Again, one or the other of us was to watch at his bedside, and report it, if anything happened. Expecting my fair friend to supper, it was necessary to make sure that the other servants at the stables would be safe in their beds that night. Accordingly, I volunteered once more to be the man who kept watch. Mrs. Fairbank complimented me on my humanity. I possess great command over my feelings. I accepted the compliment without a blush.
On the morning of the 29th, Mr. Fairbank left us for a trip. Later that day, to my utter disgust, I realized I still wasn't done with the Englishman. With Mr. Fairbank away, Mrs. Fairbank took an inexplicable interest in my delirious coworker's nighttime rest. Once again, one of us had to keep watch by his bedside and report back if anything happened. Since I was expecting my lovely friend for dinner, I needed to ensure the other staff in the stables would be safe in their beds that night. So, I volunteered again to be the one to keep watch. Mrs. Fairbank praised me for my kindness. I have a strong grip on my emotions, so I accepted the compliment without blushing.
Twice, after nightfall, my mistress and the doctor (the last staying in the house in Mr. Fairbank's absence) came to make inquiries. Once before the arrival of my fair friend—and once after. On the second occasion (my apartment being next door to the Englishman's) I was obliged to hide my charming guest in the harness room. She consented, with angelic resignation, to immolate her dignity to the servile necessities of my position. A more amiable woman (so far) I never met with!
Twice, after dark, my lady and the doctor (the latter staying in the house while Mr. Fairbank was away) came to ask questions. Once before my lovely friend arrived—and once after. On the second visit (since my room is next door to the Englishman's), I had to hide my delightful guest in the harness room. She graciously accepted, sacrificing her dignity for the humble demands of my situation. I've never met a more charming woman!
After the second visit I was left free. It was then close on midnight. Up to that time there was nothing in the behavior of the mad Englishman to reward Mrs. Fairbank and the doctor for presenting themselves at his bedside. He lay half awake, half asleep, with an odd wondering kind of look in his face. My mistress at parting warned me to be particularly watchful of him toward two in the morning. The doctor (in case anything happened) left me a large hand bell to ring, which could easily be heard at the house.
After the second visit, I was free to go. It was almost midnight. Until then, the mad Englishman hadn’t done anything to thank Mrs. Fairbank and the doctor for coming to see him. He was lying there, half awake and half asleep, with a strange, curious expression on his face. My mistress warned me as I left to keep a close eye on him around two in the morning. The doctor gave me a large handbell to ring in case something happened, which could easily be heard at the house.
Restored to the society of my fair friend, I spread the supper table. A pâté, a sausage, and a few bottles of generous Moselle wine, composed our simple meal. When persons adore each other, the intoxicating illusion of Love transforms the simplest meal into a banquet. With immeasurable capacities for enjoyment, we sat down to table. At the very moment when I placed my fascinating companion in a chair, the infamous Englishman in the next room took that occasion, of all others, to become restless and noisy once more. He struck with his stick on the floor; he cried out, in a delirious access of terror, "Rigobert! Rigobert!"
Back in the company of my lovely friend, I set the table for supper. We had a pâté, a sausage, and a few bottles of good Moselle wine for our simple meal. When two people are in love, the magical feeling of Love turns the simplest meal into a feast. With endless capacity for enjoyment, we sat down to eat. Just as I helped my charming companion into her chair, the annoying Englishman in the next room chose that moment to start making a fuss again. He banged his stick on the floor and shouted, in a frenzy of panic, "Rigobert! Rigobert!"
The sound of that lamentable voice, suddenly assailing our ears, terrified my fair friend. She lost all her charming color in an instant. "Good heavens!" she exclaimed. "Who is that in the next room?"
The sound of that sad voice, suddenly hitting our ears, scared my beautiful friend. She lost all her lovely color in an instant. "Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed. "Who is that in the next room?"
"A mad Englishman."
"An outrageous Englishman."
"An Englishman?"
"An English guy?"
"Compose yourself, my angel. I will quiet him."
"Calm down, my angel. I'll handle him."
The lamentable voice called out on me again, "Rigobert! Rigobert!"
The sorrowful voice called out to me again, "Rigobert! Rigobert!"
My fair friend caught me by the arm. "Who is he?" she cried. "What is his name?"
My lovely friend grabbed my arm. "Who is he?" she exclaimed. "What's his name?"
Something in her face struck me as she put that question. A spasm of jealousy shook me to the soul. "You know him?" I said.
Something in her face caught my attention when she asked that question. A wave of jealousy hit me hard. "You know him?" I said.
"His name!" she vehemently repeated; "his name!"
"His name!" she emphatically repeated; "his name!"
"Francis," I answered.
"Francis," I replied.
"Francis—what?"
"Francis—what?"
I shrugged my shoulders. I could neither remember nor pronounce the barbarous English surname. I could only tell her it began with an "R."
I shrugged my shoulders. I could neither remember nor pronounce the strange English surname. I could only tell her it started with an "R."
She dropped back into the chair. Was she going to faint? No: she recovered, and more than recovered, her lost color. Her eyes flashed superbly. What did it mean? Profoundly as I understand women in general, I was puzzled by this woman!
She sank back into the chair. Was she about to faint? No: she bounced back, and not just that, her color returned even more vibrant. Her eyes sparkled brilliantly. What did that mean? As much as I understand women in general, I was confused by this woman!
"You know him?" I repeated.
"You know him?" I asked.
She laughed at me. "What nonsense! How should I know him? Go and quiet the wretch."
She laughed at me. "What nonsense! How should I know him? Go and calm the poor guy."
My looking-glass was near. One glance at it satisfied me that no woman in her senses could prefer the Englishman to Me. I recovered my self-respect. I hastened to the Englishman's bedside.
My mirror was close by. One look at it convinced me that no woman in her right mind could choose the Englishman over me. I regained my self-respect. I hurried to the Englishman's bedside.
The moment I appeared he pointed eagerly toward my room. He overwhelmed me with a torrent of words in his own language. I made out, from his gestures and his looks, that he had, in some incomprehensible manner, discovered the presence of my guest; and, stranger still, that he was scared by the idea of a person in my room. I endeavored to compose him on the system which I have already mentioned—that is to say, I swore at him in my language. The result not proving satisfactory, I own I shook my fist in his face, and left the bedchamber.
The moment I showed up, he pointed excitedly towards my room. He bombarded me with a flood of words in his language. From his gestures and expressions, I realized that he had somehow figured out that my guest was there; even weirder, he was scared by the idea of someone being in my room. I tried to calm him down using the method I've mentioned before—that is to say, I cursed at him in my language. When that didn’t work, I admit I shook my fist in his face and left the bedroom.
Returning to my fair friend, I found her walking backward and forward in a state of excitement wonderful to behold. She had not waited for me to fill her glass—she had begun the generous Moselle in my absence. I prevailed on her with difficulty to place herself at the table. Nothing would induce her to eat. "My appetite is gone," she said. "Give me wine."
Returning to my dear friend, I found her pacing back and forth, visibly excited. She hadn't waited for me to refill her glass—she had already started on the generous Moselle while I was gone. I managed, with some effort, to get her to sit at the table. Nothing would convince her to eat. "I'm not hungry," she said. "Just give me wine."
The generous Moselle deserves its name—delicate on the palate, with prodigious "body." The strength of this fine wine produced no stupefying effect on my remarkable guest. It appeared to strengthen and exhilarate her—nothing more. She always spoke in the same low tone, and always, turn the conversation as I might, brought it back with the same dexterity to the subject of the Englishman in the next room. In any other woman this persistency would have offended me. My lovely guest was irresistible; I answered her questions with the docility of a child. She possessed all the amusing eccentricity of her nation. When I told her of the accident which confined the Englishman to his bed, she sprang to her feet. An extraordinary smile irradiated her countenance. She said, "Show me the horse who broke the Englishman's leg! I must see that horse!" I took her to the stables. She kissed the horse—on my word of honor, she kissed the horse! That struck me. I said. "You do know the man; and he has wronged you in some way." No! she would not admit it, even then. "I kiss all beautiful animals," she said. "Haven't I kissed you?" With that charming explanation of her conduct, she ran back up the stairs. I only remained behind to lock the stable door again. When I rejoined her, I made a startling discovery. I caught her coming out of the Englishman's room.
The generous Moselle truly lives up to its name—light on the palate, with an impressive "body." The strength of this fine wine didn’t have a dizzying effect on my remarkable guest. If anything, it seemed to energize and uplift her—nothing more. She always spoke in the same soft tone, and no matter how much I tried to change the topic, she skillfully steered the conversation back to the Englishman in the next room. In any other woman, this persistence might have annoyed me. My lovely guest was irresistible; I answered her questions like a compliant child. She had all the amusing quirks of her people. When I told her about the accident that kept the Englishman in bed, she jumped to her feet. A radiant smile lit up her face. She exclaimed, "Show me the horse that broke the Englishman’s leg! I need to see that horse!" I took her to the stables. She kissed the horse—honestly, she kissed the horse! That surprised me. I said, "You really know the guy; he must have done something to upset you." No! She wouldn’t admit it, even then. "I kiss all beautiful animals," she replied. "Haven’t I kissed you?" With that charming justification, she dashed back up the stairs. I stayed behind to lock the stable door again. When I caught up with her, I made a shocking discovery. I found her coming out of the Englishman’s room.
"I was just going downstairs again to call you," she said. "The man in there is getting noisy once more."
"I was just going downstairs again to call you," she said. "The guy in there is getting loud again."
The mad Englishman's voice assailed our ears once again. "Rigobert! Rigobert!"
The crazy Englishman’s voice hit our ears again. “Rigobert! Rigobert!”
He was a frightful object to look at when I saw him this time. His eyes were staring wildly; the perspiration was pouring over his face. In a panic of terror he clasped his hands; he pointed up to heaven. By every sign and gesture that a man can make, he entreated me not to leave him again. I really could not help smiling. The idea of my staying with him, and leaving my fair friend by herself in the next room!
He looked terrifying when I saw him this time. His eyes were wide and frantic; sweat was dripping down his face. In a state of pure fear, he grasped his hands and pointed to the sky. With every sign and gesture possible, he begged me not to leave him again. I couldn’t help but smile. The thought of staying with him while leaving my beautiful friend alone in the next room!
I turned to the door. When the mad wretch saw me leaving him he burst out into a screech of despair—so shrill that I feared it might awaken the sleeping servants.
I turned to the door. When the crazy guy saw me leaving him, he let out a scream of despair—so high-pitched that I worried it might wake the sleeping servants.
My presence of mind in emergencies is proverbial among those who know me. I tore open the cupboard in which he kept his linen—seized a handful of his handkerchiefs—gagged him with one of them, and secured his hands with the others. There was now no danger of his alarming the servants. After tying the last knot, I looked up.
My quick thinking in emergencies is well-known among my friends. I pulled open the cupboard where he kept his linens, grabbed a bunch of his handkerchiefs, stuffed one in his mouth to gag him, and used the rest to tie his hands. He couldn't call out to the servants now. After tying the final knot, I looked up.
The door between the Englishman's room and mine was open. My fair friend was standing on the threshold—watching him as he lay helpless on the bed; watching me as I tied the last knot.
The door between the Englishman's room and mine was open. My blonde friend was standing in the doorway—watching him as he lay helpless on the bed; watching me as I tied the last knot.
"What are you doing there?" I asked. "Why did you open the door?"
"What are you doing there?" I asked. "Why did you open the door?"
She stepped up to me, and whispered her answer in my ear, with her eyes all the time upon the man on the bed:
She walked up to me and whispered her answer in my ear, keeping her eyes on the man in the bed the whole time:
"I heard him scream."
"I heard him yell."
"Well?"
"What's up?"
"I thought you had killed him."
"I thought you had killed him."
I drew back from her in horror. The suspicion of me which her words implied was sufficiently detestable in itself. But her manner when she uttered the words was more revolting still. It so powerfully affected me that I started back from that beautiful creature as I might have recoiled from a reptile crawling over my flesh.
I recoiled from her in shock. The implication in her words that she suspected me was already disgusting enough. But the way she said it was even more repulsive. It hit me so hard that I stepped back from that beautiful person as if I were recoiling from a snake slithering over my skin.
Before I had recovered myself sufficiently to reply, my nerves were assailed by another shock. I suddenly heard my mistress's voice calling to me from the stable yard.
Before I had gathered myself enough to respond, I was hit by another shock. I suddenly heard my mistress's voice calling for me from the stable yard.
There was no time to think—there was only time to act. The one thing needed was to keep Mrs. Fairbank from ascending the stairs, and discovering—not my lady guest only—but the Englishman also, gagged and bound on his bed. I instantly hurried to the yard. As I ran down the stairs I heard the stable clock strike the quarter to two in the morning.
There was no time to think—only time to act. The main priority was to stop Mrs. Fairbank from going up the stairs and finding—not just my lady guest—but also the Englishman, gagged and tied up on his bed. I quickly rushed to the yard. As I ran down the stairs, I heard the stable clock strike a quarter to two in the morning.
My mistress was eager and agitated. The doctor (in attendance on her) was smiling to himself, like a man amused at his own thoughts.
My mistress was anxious and restless. The doctor (who was attending to her) was smiling to himself, like someone who found amusement in his own thoughts.
"Is Francis awake or asleep?" Mrs. Fairbank inquired.
"Is Francis awake or asleep?" Mrs. Fairbank asked.
"He has been a little restless, madam. But he is now quiet again. If he is not disturbed" (I added those words to prevent her from ascending the stairs), "he will soon fall off into a quiet sleep."
"He’s been a bit restless, ma’am. But he’s quiet again now. If he’s not disturbed" (I added that to keep her from going up the stairs), "he’ll soon drift off into a peaceful sleep."
"Has nothing happened since I was here last?"
"Has nothing changed since I was last here?"
"Nothing, madam."
"Nothing, ma'am."
The doctor lifted his eyebrows with a comical look of distress. "Alas, alas, Mrs. Fairbank!" he said. "Nothing has happened! The days of romance are over!"
The doctor raised his eyebrows with a funny look of concern. "Oh no, oh no, Mrs. Fairbank!" he said. "Nothing has happened! The days of romance are gone!"
"It is not two o'clock yet," my mistress answered, a little irritably.
"It’s not two o'clock yet," my mistress replied, a bit irritably.
The smell of the stables was strong on the morning air. She put her handkerchief to her nose and led the way out of the yard by the north entrance—the entrance communicating with the gardens and the house. I was ordered to follow her, along with the doctor. Once out of the smell of the stables she began to question me again. She was unwilling to believe that nothing had occurred in her absence. I invented the best answers I could think of on the spur of the moment; and the doctor stood by laughing. So the minutes passed till the clock struck two. Upon that, Mrs. Fairbank announced her intention of personally visiting the Englishman in his room. To my great relief, the doctor interfered to stop her from doing this.
The smell of the stables was strong in the morning air. She held her handkerchief to her nose and led the way out of the yard through the north entrance—the one that connected to the gardens and the house. I was told to follow her, along with the doctor. Once we were away from the stables' smell, she started questioning me again. She couldn’t believe that nothing had happened while she was away. I came up with the best answers I could think of on the spot, while the doctor stood by laughing. So the minutes went by until the clock struck two. At that point, Mrs. Fairbank declared her intention to visit the Englishman in his room. To my great relief, the doctor stepped in to stop her from doing that.
"You have heard that Francis is just falling asleep," he said. "If you enter his room you may disturb him. It is essential to the success of my experiment that he should have a good night's rest, and that he should own it himself, before I tell him the truth. I must request, madam, that you will not disturb the man. Rigobert will ring the alarm bell if anything happens."
"You’ve heard that Francis is just about to fall asleep," he said. "If you go into his room, you might wake him up. It’s crucial for my experiment that he gets a good night’s sleep and recognizes it himself before I share the truth with him. I must ask you, ma’am, not to disturb him. Rigobert will ring the alarm bell if anything happens."
My mistress was unwilling to yield. For the next five minutes, at least, there was a warm discussion between the two. In the end Mrs. Fairbank was obliged to give way—for the time. "In half an hour," she said, "Francis will either be sound asleep, or awake again. In half an hour I shall come back." She took the doctor's arm. They returned together to the house.
My mistress was not ready to give in. For at least the next five minutes, there was a heated discussion between the two. In the end, Mrs. Fairbank had to back down—for now. "In half an hour," she said, "Francis will either be asleep or awake again. I'll come back in half an hour." She took the doctor's arm, and they walked back to the house together.
Left by myself, with half an hour before me, I resolved to take the Englishwoman back to the village—then, returning to the stables, to remove the gag and the bindings from Francis, and to let him screech to his heart's content. What would his alarming the whole establishment matter to me after I had got rid of the compromising presence of my guest?
Left alone with thirty minutes to spare, I decided to take the Englishwoman back to the village. Then, I would head back to the stables to remove the gag and bindings from Francis, letting him scream as much as he wanted. What would it matter to me if he alarmed the whole place after I had gotten rid of my compromising guest?
Returning to the yard I heard a sound like the creaking of an open door on its hinges. The gate of the north entrance I had just closed with my own hand. I went round to the west entrance, at the back of the stables. It opened on a field crossed by two footpaths in Mr. Fairbank's grounds. The nearest footpath led to the village. The other led to the highroad and the river.
Returning to the yard, I heard a sound like a door creaking on its hinges. I had just closed the gate at the north entrance with my own hand. I went around to the west entrance, at the back of the stables. It opened onto a field crossed by two footpaths in Mr. Fairbank's property. The nearest footpath led to the village, while the other led to the highway and the river.
Arriving at the west entrance I found the door open—swinging to and fro slowly in the fresh morning breeze. I had myself locked and bolted that door after admitting my fair friend at eleven o'clock. A vague dread of something wrong stole its way into my mind. I hurried back to the stables.
Arriving at the west entrance, I found the door open—swinging back and forth slowly in the fresh morning breeze. I had locked and bolted that door after letting my lovely friend in at eleven o'clock. A vague sense of dread crept into my mind. I hurried back to the stables.
I looked into my own room. It was empty. I went to the harness room. Not a sign of the woman was there. I returned to my room, and approached the door of the Englishman's bedchamber. Was it possible that she had remained there during my absence? An unaccountable reluctance to open the door made me hesitate, with my hand on the lock. I listened. There was not a sound inside. I called softly. There was no answer. I drew back a step, still hesitating. I noticed something dark moving slowly in the crevice between the bottom of the door and the boarded floor. Snatching up the candle from the table, I held it low, and looked. The dark, slowly moving object was a stream of blood!
I peeked into my room. It was empty. I went to the harness room. There was no sign of the woman there. I returned to my room and approached the door of the Englishman’s bedroom. Could she have stayed there while I was gone? A strange reluctance to open the door made me hesitate, my hand on the lock. I listened. There was no sound inside. I called softly. No answer. I stepped back, still hesitating. I saw something dark moving slowly in the gap between the bottom of the door and the floorboards. Grabbing the candle from the table, I held it low and looked closer. The dark, slowly moving object was a stream of blood!
That horrid sight roused me. I opened the door. The Englishman lay on his bed—alone in the room. He was stabbed in two places—in the throat and in the heart. The weapon was left in the second wound. It was a knife of English manufacture, with a handle of buckhorn as good as new.
That terrifying sight jolted me awake. I opened the door. The Englishman was lying on his bed—alone in the room. He had been stabbed in two places—his throat and his heart. The knife was still left in the second wound. It was an English-made knife, with a handle made of buckhorn and practically brand new.
I instantly gave the alarm. Witnesses can speak to what followed. It is monstrous to suppose that I am guilty of the murder. I admit that I am capable of committing follies: but I shrink from the bare idea of a crime. Besides, I had no motive for killing the man. The woman murdered him in my absence. The woman escaped by the west entrance while I was talking to my mistress. I have no more to say. I swear to you what I have here written is a true statement of all that happened on the morning of the first of March.
I immediately raised the alarm. Witnesses can attest to what happened next. It's outrageous to think that I am guilty of the murder. I acknowledge that I can act foolishly, but the very thought of committing a crime makes me uneasy. Moreover, I had no reason to kill the man. The woman killed him while I wasn't there. She got away through the west entrance while I was talking to my girlfriend. I have nothing more to add. I swear that what I've written here is a true account of everything that occurred on the morning of March 1st.
Accept, sir, the assurance of my sentiments of profound gratitude and respect.
Accept, sir, my heartfelt gratitude and respect.
JOSEPH RIGOBERT.
JOSEPH RIGOBERT.
LAST LINES.—ADDED BY PERCY FAIRBANK
Tried for the murder of Francis Raven, Joseph Rigobert was found Not Guilty; the papers of the assassinated man presented ample evidence of the deadly animosity felt toward him by his wife.
Tried for the murder of Francis Raven, Joseph Rigobert was found Not Guilty; the documents of the murdered man provided plenty of evidence of the intense hatred his wife had for him.
The investigations pursued on the morning when the crime was committed showed that the murderess, after leaving the stable, had taken the footpath which led to the river. The river was dragged—without result. It remains doubtful to this day whether she died by drowning or not. The one thing certain is—that Alicia Warlock was never seen again.
The investigations carried out on the morning of the crime revealed that the murderer, after leaving the stable, took the path that led to the river. The river was searched—without any results. It’s still uncertain whether she drowned or not. The only thing that’s clear is that Alicia Warlock was never seen again.
So—beginning in mystery, ending in mystery—the Dream Woman passes from your view. Ghost; demon; or living human creature—say for yourselves which she is. Or, knowing what unfathomed wonders are around you, what unfathomed wonders are in you, let the wise words of the greatest of all poets be explanation enough:
So—starting in mystery, ending in mystery—the Dream Woman disappears from your sight. Ghost, demon, or real person—decide for yourselves what she is. Or, recognizing the unfathomable wonders around you and within you, let the insightful words of the greatest poet be explanation enough:
As dreams are made of, and our short life Is rounded with a nap.
Anonymous
The Lost Duchess
I
"Has the duchess returned?"
"Did the duchess return?"
"No, your grace."
"No, your lord."
Knowles came farther into the room. He had a letter on a salver. When the duke had taken it, Knowles still lingered. The duke glanced at him.
Knowles stepped further into the room. He was holding a letter on a tray. Once the duke took it, Knowles remained nearby. The duke looked over at him.
"Is an answer required?"
"Is an answer needed?"
"No, your grace." Still Knowles lingered. "Something a little singular has happened. The carriage has returned without the duchess, and the men say that they thought her grace was in it."
"No, your grace." Knowles hesitated. "Something a bit unusual has happened. The carriage has come back without the duchess, and the men said they thought she was inside it."
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"I hardly understand myself, your grace. Perhaps you would like to see Barnes."
"I barely understand myself, your grace. Maybe you’d like to see Barnes."
Barnes was the coachman.
Barnes was the driver.
"Send him up." When Knowles had gone, and he was alone, his grace showed signs of being slightly annoyed. He looked at his watch. "I told her she'd better be in by four. She says that she's not feeling well, and yet one would think that she was not aware of the fatigue entailed in having the prince come to dinner, and a mob of people to follow. I particularly wished her to lie down for a couple of hours."
"Send him up." After Knowles left and he was by himself, he seemed a bit annoyed. He glanced at his watch. "I told her she needed to be back by four. She claims she's not feeling well, but you'd think she doesn't realize how exhausting it is to have the prince over for dinner, along with a crowd of people. I really wanted her to rest for a couple of hours."
Knowles ushered in not only Barnes, the coachman, but Moysey, the footman, too. Both these persons seemed to be ill at ease. The duke glanced at them sharply. In his voice there was a suggestion of impatience.
Knowles brought in not just Barnes, the coachman, but also Moysey, the footman. Both of them looked uncomfortable. The duke looked at them sharply. There was a hint of impatience in his voice.
"What is the matter?"
"What's wrong?"
Barnes explained as best he could.
Barnes explained it as clearly as he could.
"If you please, your grace, we waited for the duchess outside Cane and Wilson's, the drapers. The duchess came out, got into the carriage, and Moysey shut the door, and her grace said, 'Home!' and yet when we got home she wasn't there."
"If you don’t mind, Your Grace, we waited for the duchess outside Cane and Wilson's, the fabric store. The duchess came out, got into the carriage, and Moysey closed the door. Then she said, 'Home!' but when we arrived home, she wasn't there."
"She wasn't where?"
"Where wasn't she?"
"Her grace wasn't in the carriage, your grace."
"Her elegance wasn't in the way she carried herself, your honor."
"What on earth do you mean?"
"What do you mean?"
"Her grace did get into the carriage; you shut the door, didn't you?"
"She got into the carriage; you closed the door, right?"
Barnes turned to Moysey. Moysey brought his hand up to his brow in a sort of military salute—he had been a soldier in the regiment in which, once upon a time, the duke had been a subaltern.
Barnes turned to Moysey. Moysey raised his hand to his forehead in a sort of military salute—he had been a soldier in the regiment where, long ago, the duke had been a junior officer.
"She did. The duchess came out of the shop. She seemed rather in a hurry, I thought. She got into the carriage, and she said, 'Home, Moysey!' I shut the door, and Barnes drove straight home. We never stopped anywhere, and we never noticed nothing happen on the way; and yet when we got home the carriage was empty."
"She did. The duchess came out of the shop. She seemed to be in a hurry, I thought. She got into the carriage and said, 'Home, Moysey!' I shut the door, and Barnes drove straight home. We didn’t stop anywhere, and we didn’t notice anything happen on the way; yet when we got home, the carriage was empty."
The duke started.
The duke began.
"Do you mean to tell me that the duchess got out of the carriage while you were driving full pelt through the streets without saying anything to you, and without you noticing it?"
"Are you really saying that the duchess got out of the carriage while you were driving at full speed through the streets, without saying a word to you and without you even noticing?"
"The carriage was empty when we got home, your grace."
"The carriage was empty when we arrived home, your grace."
"Was either of the doors open?"
"Was either of the doors open?"
"No, your grace."
"No, your highness."
"You fellows have been up to some infernal mischief. You have made a mess of it. You never picked up the duchess, and you're trying to palm this tale off on me to save yourselves."
"You guys have been causing some serious trouble. You’ve really messed things up. You never picked up the duchess, and you’re trying to pass this story off on me to save your own skins."
Barnes was moved to adjuration:
Barnes was moved to urge:
"I'll take my Bible oath, your grace, that the duchess got into the carriage outside Cane and Wilson's."
"I'll swear on my Bible, your grace, that the duchess got into the carriage outside Cane and Wilson's."
Moysey seconded his colleague.
Moysey supported his colleague.
"I will swear to that, your grace. She got into that carriage, and I shut the door, and she said, 'Home, Moysey!'"
"I swear, your grace. She got into that carriage, I closed the door, and she said, ‘Home, Moysey!’"
The duke looked as if he did not know what to make of the story and its tellers.
The duke seemed unsure of how to react to the story and those telling it.
"What carriage did you have?"
"What car do you have?"
"Her grace's brougham, your grace."
"Your grace's brougham, your grace."
Knowles interposed:
Knowles interrupted:
"The brougham was ordered because I understood that the duchess was not feeling very well, and there's rather a high wind, your grace."
"The brougham was requested because I heard that the duchess wasn't feeling well, and there's quite a strong wind, your grace."
The duke snapped at him:
The duke yelled at him:
"What has that to do with it? Are you suggesting that the duchess was more likely to jump out of a brougham while it was dashing through the streets than out of any other kind of vehicle?"
"What does that have to do with anything? Are you saying that the duchess would be more likely to jump out of a brougham while it was speeding through the streets than out of any other type of vehicle?"
The duke's glance fell on the letter which Knowles had brought him when he first had entered. He had placed it on his writing table. Now he took it up. It was addressed:
The duke's gaze landed on the letter that Knowles had brought him when he first arrived. He had set it on his desk. Now he picked it up. It was addressed:
"To His Grace the Duke of Datchet.
Private!
VERY PRESSING!!!"
To His Grace the Duke of Datchet.
Confidential!
URGENT!!!
The name was written in a fine, clear, almost feminine hand. The words in the left-hand corner of the envelope were written in a different hand. They were large and bold; almost as though they had been painted with the end of the penholder instead of being written with the pen. The envelope itself was of an unusual size, and bulged out as though it contained something else besides a letter.
The name was written in a neat, clear, almost feminine style. The words in the left-hand corner of the envelope were in a different style. They were large and bold; almost like they had been painted with the end of the pen instead of being actually written. The envelope itself was an unusual size and bulged as if it held something more than just a letter.
The duke tore the envelope open. As he did so something fell out of it on to the writing table. It looked as though it was a lock of a woman's hair. As he glanced at it the duke seemed to be a trifle startled. The duke read the letter:
The duke ripped open the envelope. As he did, something fell out onto the writing table. It appeared to be a lock of a woman's hair. The duke looked at it and seemed a bit taken aback. He then read the letter:
"Your grace will be so good as to bring five hundred pounds in gold to the Piccadilly end of the Burlington Arcade within an hour of the receipt of this. The Duchess of Datchet has been kidnaped. An imitation duchess got into the carriage, which was waiting outside Cane and Wilson's, and she alighted on the road. Unless your grace does as you are requested, the Duchess of Datchet's left-hand little finger will be at once cut off, and sent home in time to receive the prince to dinner. Other portions of her grace will follow. A lock of her grace's hair is inclosed with this as an earnest of our good intentions.
"Please bring five hundred pounds in gold to the Piccadilly end of the Burlington Arcade within an hour of receiving this. The Duchess of Datchet has been kidnapped. An impersonator got into the carriage waiting outside Cane and Wilson's and got out on the road. If you don’t comply, the Duchess of Datchet's left little finger will be cut off and sent home just in time for dinner with the prince. Other parts of her will follow. A lock of her hair is included with this as a sign of our serious intentions."
"Before 5:30 p.m. your grace is requested to be at the Piccadilly end of the Burlington Arcade with five hundred pounds in gold. You will there be accosted by an individual in a white top hat, and with a gardenia in his buttonhole. You will be entirely at liberty to give him into custody, or to have him followed by the police, in which case the duchess's left arm, cut off at the shoulder, will be sent home for dinner—not to mention other extremely possible contingencies. But you are advised to give the individual in question the five hundred pounds in gold, because in that case the duchess herself will be home in time to receive the prince to dinner, and with one of the best stories with which to entertain your distinguished guests they ever heard.
"Before 5:30 p.m., please be at the Piccadilly end of the Burlington Arcade with five hundred pounds in gold. There, you will be approached by a person in a white top hat with a gardenia in his buttonhole. You are free to either turn him over to the authorities or have the police follow him; if you choose the latter, the duchess's left arm, which has been severed at the shoulder, will be sent home for dinner—not to mention other very likely outcomes. However, you are advised to give the person in question the five hundred pounds in gold, as doing so would ensure that the duchess returns home in time to host the prince for dinner, along with one of the best stories to entertain your distinguished guests that they have ever heard."
"Remember! not later than 5:30, unless you wish to receive her grace's little finger."
"Remember! by 5:30, unless you want to deal with her grace's little finger."
The duke stared at this amazing epistle when he had read it as though he found it difficult to believe the evidence of his eyes. He was not a demonstrative person, as a rule, but this little communication astonished even him. He read it again. Then his hands dropped to his sides, and he swore.
The duke stared at this incredible letter after reading it, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Usually, he wasn't the type to show much emotion, but this brief message surprised even him. He read it again. Then his hands fell to his sides, and he cursed.
He took up the lock of hair which had fallen out of the envelope. Was it possible that it could be his wife's, the duchess? Was it possible that a Duchess of Datchet could be kidnaped, in broad daylight, in the heart of London, and be sent home, as it were, in pieces? Had sacrilegious hands already been playing pranks with that great lady's hair? Certainly, that hair was so like her hair that the mere resemblance made his grace's blood run cold. He turned on Messrs. Barnes and Moysey as though he would have liked to rend them.
He picked up the lock of hair that had fallen out of the envelope. Could it be his wife's, the duchess? Was it really possible for a Duchess of Datchet to be kidnapped, in broad daylight, right in the center of London, and then sent home, as if in pieces? Had some sacrilegious hands been messing around with that great lady's hair? Without a doubt, that hair looked so much like her hair that just the resemblance sent chills down his spine. He glared at Messrs. Barnes and Moysey as if he wanted to tear them apart.
"You scoundrels!"
"You losers!"
He moved forward as though the intention had entered his ducal heart to knock his servants down. But, if that were so, he did not act quite up to his intention. Instead, he stretched out his arm, pointing at them as if he were an accusing spirit:
He stepped forward as if he had made up his mind to knock his servants down. But if that was the case, he didn’t really follow through. Instead, he extended his arm, pointing at them like he was an accusing spirit:
"Will you swear that it was the duchess who got into the carriage outside Cane and Wilson's?"
"Will you swear that it was the duchess who got into the car outside Cane and Wilson's?"
Barnes began to stammer:
Barnes started to stutter:
"I'll swear, your grace, that I—I thought—"
"I promise, your grace, that I—I thought—"
The duke stormed an interruption:
The duke interrupted angrily:
"I don't ask what you thought. I ask you, will you swear it was?"
"I’m not asking what you thought. I’m asking you, will you swear it was?"
The duke's anger was more than Barnes could face. He was silent. Moysey showed a larger courage.
The duke's anger was too much for Barnes to handle. He stayed quiet. Moysey displayed greater courage.
"I could have sworn that it was at the time, your grace. But now it seems to me that it's a rummy go."
"I could have sworn it was back then, your grace. But now it feels like a strange situation."
"A rummy go!" The peculiarity of the phrase did not seem to strike the duke just then—at least, he echoed it as if it didn't. "You call it a rummy go! Do you know that I am told in this letter that the woman who entered the carriage was not the duchess? What you were thinking about, or what case you will be able to make out for yourselves, you know better than I; but I can tell you this—that in an hour you will leave my service, and you may esteem yourselves fortunate if, to-night, you are not both of you sleeping in jail."
"A strange situation!" The oddness of the phrase didn’t seem to register with the duke at that moment—at least, he repeated it as if it didn't. "You call it a strange situation! Do you realize that I’ve been informed in this letter that the woman who got into the carriage wasn’t the duchess? What you’re thinking or what case you think you’ll make for yourselves, you know better than I; but I can tell you this—that in an hour, you will no longer be in my service, and you should consider yourselves lucky if, by tonight, you’re not both sleeping in jail."
One might almost have suspected that the words were spoken in irony. But before they could answer, another servant entered, who also brought a letter for the duke. When his grace's glance fell on it he uttered an exclamation. The writing on the envelope was the same writing that had been on the envelope which had contained the very singular communication—like it in all respects, down to the broomstick-end thickness of the "Private!" and "Very pressing!!!" in the corner.
One might almost think the words were said sarcastically. But before they could respond, another servant came in, who also brought a letter for the duke. When his grace saw it, he gasped. The handwriting on the envelope was the same as what had been on the envelope that contained the very unusual message—exactly the same in every way, right down to the thick "Private!" and "Very pressing!!!" in the corner.
"Who brought this?" stormed the duke.
"Who brought this?" the duke yelled.
The servant appeared to be a little startled by the violence of his grace's manner.
The servant seemed a bit taken aback by the intensity of his boss's behavior.
"A lady—or, at least, your grace, she seemed to be a lady."
"A woman—or, at least, your grace, she looked like a woman."
"Where is she?"
"Where's she?"
"She came in a hansom, your grace. She gave me that letter, and said, 'Give that to the Duke of Datchet at once—without a moment's delay!' Then she got into the hansom again, and drove away."
"She arrived in a cab, your grace. She handed me that letter and said, 'Give this to the Duke of Datchet immediately—without any delay!' Then she got back into the cab and left."
"Why didn't you stop her?"
"Why didn't you stop her?"
"Your grace!"
"Your majesty!"
The man seemed surprised, as though the idea of stopping chance visitors to the ducal mansion vi et armis had not, until that moment, entered into his philosophy. The duke continued to regard the man as if he could say a good deal, if he chose. Then he pointed to the door. His lips said nothing, but his gesture much. The servant vanished.
The man looked surprised, as if the thought of stopping random visitors to the duke's mansion by force had never crossed his mind until now. The duke kept looking at the man, as if he had a lot to say if he wanted to. Then he pointed to the door. His mouth didn't say anything, but his gesture communicated a lot. The servant disappeared.
"Another hoax!" the duke said grimly, as he tore the envelope open.
"Another scam!" the duke said grimly, as he ripped open the envelope.
This time the envelope contained a sheet of paper, and in the sheet of paper another envelope. The duke unfolded the sheet of paper. On it some words were written. These:
This time, the envelope had a piece of paper inside it, and in the piece of paper was another envelope. The duke opened up the piece of paper. Some words were written on it. These:
"The duchess appears so particularly anxious to drop you a line, that one really hasn't the heart to refuse her.
"The duchess seems so eager to write to you that it's hard to say no."
"Her grace's communication—written amidst blinding tears!—you will find inclosed with this."
"Her grace's message—written through blinding tears!—is included with this."
"Knowles," said the duke, in a voice which actually trembled, "Knowles, hoax or no hoax, I will be even with the gentleman who wrote that."
"Knowles," said the duke, his voice actually shaking, "Knowles, hoax or not, I will have my revenge on the person who wrote that."
Handing the sheet of paper to Mr. Knowles, his grace turned his attention to the envelope which had been inclosed. It was a small, square envelope, of the finest quality, and it reeked with perfume. The duke's countenance assumed an added frown—he had no fondness for envelopes which were scented. In the center of the envelope were the words, "To the Duke of Datchet," written in the big, bold, sprawling hand which he knew so well.
Handing the sheet of paper to Mr. Knowles, his grace shifted his focus to the envelope that was included. It was a small, square envelope made of the highest quality and was saturated with perfume. The duke frowned even more—he didn't like scented envelopes. In the center of the envelope were the words, "To the Duke of Datchet," written in the large, bold, flowing handwriting that he recognized immediately.
"Mabel's writing," he said, half to himself, as, with shaking fingers, he tore the envelope open.
"Mabel's writing," he said, mostly to himself, as he tore open the envelope with shaking fingers.
The sheet of paper which he took out was almost as stiff as cardboard. It, too, emitted what his grace deemed the nauseous odors of the perfumer's shop. On it was written this letter:
The sheet of paper he pulled out was almost as stiff as cardboard. It also gave off what he thought were the disgusting smells of a perfume shop. Written on it was this letter:
"MY DEAR HEREWARD—For Heaven's sake do what these people require! I don't know what has happened or where I am, but I am nearly distracted! They have already cut off some of my hair, and they tell me that, if you don't let them have five hundred pounds in gold by half-past five, they will cut off my little finger too. I would sooner die than lose my little finger—and—I don't know what else besides.
"MY DEAR HEREWARD—For Heaven's sake, please do what these people are asking! I have no idea what’s going on or where I am, but I’m almost going out of my mind! They’ve already cut off some of my hair, and they’re saying that if you don’t give them five hundred pounds in gold by five-thirty, they’ll cut off my little finger too. I’d rather die than lose my little finger—and—I don’t even know what else."
"By the token which I send you, and which has never, until now, been off my breast, I conjure you to help me.
"With this token I’m sending you, which has never left my chest until now, I urge you to help me."
"Hereward—help me!"
"Hereward—please help me!"
When he read that letter the duke turned white—very white, as white as the paper on which it was written. He passed the epistle on to Knowles.
When he read that letter, the duke turned pale—very pale, as pale as the paper it was written on. He handed the letter to Knowles.
"I suppose that also is a hoax?"
"I guess that's just another trick?"
Mr. Knowles was silent. He still yielded to his constitutional disrelish to commit himself. At last he asked:
Mr. Knowles was quiet. He still struggled with his natural aversion to making a commitment. Finally, he asked:
"What is it that your grace proposes to do?"
"What do you propose to do, Your Grace?"
The duke spoke with a bitterness which almost suggested a personal animosity toward the inoffensive Mr. Knowles.
The duke spoke with a bitterness that almost hinted at a personal grudge against the harmless Mr. Knowles.
"I propose, with your permission, to release the duchess from the custody of my estimable correspondent. I propose—always with your permission—to comply with his modest request, and to take him his five hundred pounds in gold." He paused, then continued in a tone which, coming from him, meant volumes: "Afterwards, I propose to cry quits with the concocter of this pretty little hoax, even if it costs me every penny I possess. He shall pay more for that five hundred pounds than he supposes."
"I’d like to suggest, with your approval, to free the duchess from the care of my respected friend. I want to—always with your consent—honor his small request and bring him his five hundred pounds in gold." He paused, then continued in a tone that, coming from him, carried a lot of weight: "Afterward, I plan to settle the score with the creator of this clever little trick, even if it means I spend every last cent I have. He will pay more for that five hundred pounds than he thinks."
II
The Duke of Datchet, coming out of the bank, lingered for a moment on the steps. In one hand he carried a canvas bag which seemed well weighted. On his countenance there was an expression which to a casual observer might have suggested that his grace was not completely at his ease. That casual observer happened to come strolling by. It took the form of Ivor Dacre.
The Duke of Datchet, stepping out of the bank, paused for a moment on the steps. In one hand, he held a canvas bag that looked heavy. There was an expression on his face that, to an onlooker, might have suggested he wasn’t entirely comfortable. That onlooker happened to be Ivor Dacre, who was walking by.
Mr. Dacre looked the Duke of Datchet up and down in that languid way he has. He perceived the canvas bag. Then he remarked, possibly intending to be facetious:
Mr. Dacre looked the Duke of Datchet up and down in that relaxed way he has. He noticed the canvas bag. Then he commented, probably trying to be humorous:
"Been robbing the bank? Shall I call a cart?"
"Been robbing the bank? Should I call a car?"
Nobody minds what Ivor Dacre says. Besides, he is the duke's own cousin. Perhaps a little removed; still, there it is. So the duke smiled a sickly smile, as if Mr. Dacre's delicate wit had given him a passing touch of indigestion.
Nobody pays attention to what Ivor Dacre says. He’s also the duke’s cousin. Maybe it’s a bit distant, but that’s the way it is. So the duke forced a weak smile, as if Mr. Dacre’s subtle humor had caused him a brief moment of discomfort.
Mr. Dacre noticed that the duke looked sallow, so he gave his pretty sense of humor another airing.
Mr. Dacre noticed that the duke looked pale, so he brought out his charming sense of humor again.
"Kitchen boiler burst? When I saw the duchess just now I wondered if it had."
"Did the kitchen boiler burst? When I saw the duchess just now, I was curious if it had."
His grace distinctly started. He almost dropped the canvas bag.
His grace jumped in surprise. He almost dropped the canvas bag.
"You saw the duchess just now, Ivor! When?"
"You just saw the duchess, Ivor! When?"
The duke was evidently moved. Mr. Dacre was stirred to languid curiosity. "I can't say I clocked it. Perhaps half an hour ago; perhaps a little more."
The duke was clearly affected. Mr. Dacre felt a lazy curiosity. "I can't say I noticed it. Maybe half an hour ago; maybe a bit longer."
"Half an hour ago! Are you sure? Where did you see her?"
"Half an hour ago! Are you sure? Where did you see her?"
Mr. Dacre wondered. The Duchess of Datchet could scarcely have been eloping in broad daylight. Moreover, she had not yet been married a year. Everyone knew that she and the duke were still as fond of each other as if they were not man and wife. So, although the duke, for some cause or other, was evidently in an odd state of agitation, Mr. Dacre saw no reason why he should not make a clean breast of all he knew.
Mr. Dacre wondered. The Duchess of Datchet could hardly be running away in broad daylight. Besides, she hadn’t even been married for a year. Everyone knew that she and the duke were just as affectionate as if they weren’t married at all. So, even though the duke was clearly agitated for some reason, Mr. Dacre saw no reason not to be completely open about everything he knew.
"She was going like blazes in a hansom cab."
"She was going really fast in a horse-drawn cab."
"In a hansom cab? Where?"
"In a taxi? Where?"
"Down Waterloo Place."
"Head down Waterloo Place."
"Was she alone?"
"Was she by herself?"
Mr. Dacre reflected. He glanced at the duke out of the corners of his eyes. His languid utterance became a positive drawl.
Mr. Dacre thought for a moment. He looked at the duke from the corners of his eyes. His lazy speech turned into a noticeable drawl.
"I rather fancy that she wasn't."
"I honestly don't think she was."
"Who was with her?"
"Who was with her?"
"My dear fellow, if you were to offer me the bank I couldn't tell you."
"My dear friend, if you were to give me the bank, I wouldn't be able to tell you."
"Was it a man?"
"Was it a guy?"
Mr. Dacre's drawl became still more pronounced.
Mr. Dacre's drawl became even more noticeable.
"I rather fancy that it was."
"I believe it was."
Mr. Dacre expected something. The duke was so excited. But he by no means expected what actually came.
Mr. Dacre was expecting something. The duke was really excited. But he definitely didn’t expect what actually happened.
"Ivor, she's been kidnaped!"
"Ivor, she’s been kidnapped!"
Mr. Dacre did what he had never been known to do before within the memory of man—he dropped his eyeglass.
Mr. Dacre did something he had never been known to do before in anyone's memory—he dropped his glasses.
"Datchet!"
"Datchet!"
"She has! Some scoundrel has decoyed her away, and trapped her. He's already sent me a lock of her hair, and he tells me that if I don't let him have five hundred pounds in gold by half-past five he'll let me have her little finger."
"She has! Some jerk has lured her away and captured her. He's already sent me a lock of her hair, and he says that if I don't give him five hundred pounds in gold by five-thirty, he'll send me her little finger."
Mr. Dacre did not know what to make of his grace at all. He was a sober man—it couldn't be that! Mr. Dacre felt really concerned.
Mr. Dacre had no idea what to think of his behavior at all. He was a serious guy—it couldn't be that! Mr. Dacre was genuinely worried.
"I'll call a cab, old man, and you'd better let me see you home."
"I'll call a cab, old man, and you should let me give you a ride home."
Mr. Dacre half raised his stick to hail a passing hansom. The duke caught him by the arm.
Mr. Dacre raised his stick slightly to signal a passing cab. The duke grabbed him by the arm.
"You ass! What do you mean? I am telling you the simple truth. My wife's been kidnaped."
"You idiot! What do you mean? I'm just telling you the truth. My wife's been kidnapped."
Mr. Dacre's countenance was a thing to be seen—and remembered.
Mr. Dacre's face was something to behold—and remember.
"Oh! I hadn't heard that there was much of that sort of thing about just now. They talk of poodles being kidnaped, but as for duchesses—You'd really better let me call that cab."
"Oh! I hadn't heard that there was so much of that going on right now. They say poodles are being kidnapped, but as for duchesses—You should really let me call that cab."
"Ivor, do you want me to kick you? Don't you see that to me it's a question of life and death? I've been in there to get the money." His grace motioned toward the bank. "I'm going to take it to the scoundrel who has my darling at his mercy. Let me but have her hand in mine again, and he shall continue to pay for every sovereign with tears of blood until he dies."
"Ivor, do you want me to kick you? Don’t you see that this is a matter of life and death for me? I went in there to get the money." His grace pointed toward the bank. "I'm going to take it to the lowlife who has my love at his mercy. Just let me hold her hand again, and he will pay for every pound with tears of blood until he dies."
"Look here, Datchet, I don't know if you're having a joke with me, or if you're not well—"
"Listen, Datchet, I’m not sure if you’re kidding with me or if you’re feeling sick—"
The duke stepped impatiently into the roadway.
The duke stepped impatiently into the street.
"Ivor, you're a fool! Can't you tell jest from earnest, health from disease? I'm off! Are you coming with me? It would be as well that I should have a witness."
"Ivor, you're such a fool! Can't you tell when someone is joking from when they’re serious, or health from illness? I'm leaving! Are you coming with me? It would be good to have a witness."
"Where are you off to?"
"Where are you going?"
"To the other end of the Arcade."
"To the other end of the Arcade."
"Who is the gentleman you expect to have the pleasure of meeting there?"
"Who is the guy you think you'll have the pleasure of meeting there?"
"How should I know?" The duke took a letter from his pocket—it was the letter which had just arrived. "The fellow is to wear a white top hat, and a gardenia in his buttonhole."
"How should I know?" The duke pulled a letter from his pocket—it was the letter that had just arrived. "The guy is supposed to wear a white top hat and a gardenia in his buttonhole."
"What is it you have there?"
"What do you have?"
"It's the letter which brought the news—look for yourself and see; but, for God's sake, make haste!" His grace glanced at his watch. "It's already twenty after five."
"It's the letter that brought the news—see for yourself; but, for God's sake, hurry!" His grace looked at his watch. "It's already twenty past five."
"And do you mean to say that on the strength of a letter such as this you are going to hand over five hundred pounds to—"
"And are you really saying that based on a letter like this, you’re going to give five hundred pounds to—"
The duke cut Mr. Dacre short.
The duke cut off Mr. Dacre.
"What are five hundred pounds to me? Besides, you don't know all. There is another letter. And I have heard from Mabel. But I will tell you all about it later. If you are coming, come!"
"What do five hundred pounds mean to me? Also, you don't know the whole story. There’s another letter. And I've heard from Mabel. But I'll fill you in on that later. If you’re coming, just come!"
Folding up the letter, Mr. Dacre returned it to the duke.
Folding the letter, Mr. Dacre handed it back to the duke.
"As you say, what are five hundred pounds to you? It's as well they are not as much to you as they are to me, or I'm afraid—"
"As you said, what are five hundred pounds to you? It’s probably good that they don’t mean as much to you as they do to me, or I’m worried—"
"Hang it, Ivor, do prose afterwards!"
"Hang on, Ivor, let's deal with the prose later!"
The duke hurried across the road. Mr. Dacre hastened after him. As they entered the Arcade they passed a constable. Mr. Dacre touched his companion's arm.
The duke rushed across the street. Mr. Dacre quickly followed him. As they entered the Arcade, they walked past a police officer. Mr. Dacre tapped his companion's arm.
"Don't you think we'd better ask our friend in blue to walk behind us? His neighborhood might be handy."
"Don't you think we should ask our friend in blue to walk behind us? His neighborhood could be useful."
"Nonsense!" The duke stopped short. "Ivor, this is my affair, not yours. If you are not content to play the part of silent witness, be so good as to leave me."
"Nonsense!" The duke interrupted. "Ivor, this is my business, not yours. If you're not happy just watching, please do me the courtesy of leaving."
"My dear Datchet, I'm entirely at your service. I can be every whit as insane as you, I do assure you."
"My dear Datchet, I'm completely at your service. I can be just as crazy as you, I promise."
Side by side they moved rapidly down the Burlington Arcade. The duke was obviously in a state of the extremest nervous tension. Mr. Dacre was equally obviously in a state of the most supreme enjoyment. People stared as they rushed past. The duke saw nothing. Mr. Dacre saw everything, and smiled.
Side by side, they hurried down the Burlington Arcade. The duke was clearly extremely anxious. Mr. Dacre was just as clearly having the time of his life. People gawked as they dashed by. The duke noticed nothing. Mr. Dacre noticed everything and smiled.
When they reached the Piccadilly end of the Arcade the duke pulled up. He looked about him. Mr. Dacre also looked about him.
When they got to the Piccadilly end of the Arcade, the duke stopped. He looked around. Mr. Dacre also looked around.
"I see nothing of your white-hatted and gardenia-buttonholed friend," said Ivor.
"I don't see your friend with the white hat and gardenia in his lapel," said Ivor.
The duke referred to his watch.
The duke looked at his watch.
"It's not yet half-past five. I'm up to time."
"It's not even 5:30 yet. I'm right on time."
Mr. Dacre held his stick in front of him and leaned on it. He indulged himself with a beatific smile.
Mr. Dacre held his cane in front of him and leaned on it. He wore a blissful smile.
"It strikes me, my dear Datchet, that you've been the victim of one of the finest things in hoaxes—"
"It occurs to me, my dear Datchet, that you've fallen for one of the best hoaxes out there—"
"I hope I haven't kept you waiting."
"I hope I didn't make you wait."
The voice which interrupted Mr. Dacre came from the rear. While they were looking in front of them some one approached them from behind, apparently coming out of the shop which was at their backs.
The voice that interrupted Mr. Dacre came from behind. While they were focused on what was in front of them, someone approached them from the back, seemingly coming out of the shop that was behind them.
The speaker looked a gentleman. He sounded like one, too. Costume, appearance, manner, were beyond reproach—even beyond the criticism of two such keen critics as were these. The glorious attire of a London dandy was surmounted with a beautiful white top hat. In his buttonhole was a magnificent gardenia.
The speaker looked like a gentleman. He sounded like one, too. His outfit, appearance, and behavior were flawless—even above any criticism from these two sharp critics. The dazzling outfit of a London dandy was topped off with a stylish white top hat. In his buttonhole was a stunning gardenia.
In age the stranger was scarcely more than a boy, and a sunny-faced, handsome boy at that. His cheeks were hairless, his eyes were blue. His smile was not only innocent, it was bland. Never was there a more conspicuous illustration of that repose which stamps the caste of Vere de Vere.
In terms of age, the stranger was hardly more than a boy, and a good-looking one at that, with a sunny face. His cheeks were smooth, and his eyes were blue. His smile was not just innocent; it was blank. There has never been a clearer example of the calm that defines the Vere de Vere class.
The duke looked at him and glowered. Mr. Dacre looked at him and smiled.
The duke stared at him with a scowl. Mr. Dacre met his gaze and smiled.
"Who are you?" asked the duke.
"Who are you?" the duke asked.
"Ah—that is the question!" The newcomer's refined and musical voice breathed the very soul of affability. "I am an individual who is so unfortunate as to be in want of five hundred pounds."
"Ah—that's the question!" The newcomer's smooth and pleasant voice conveyed warmth and friendliness. "I'm someone who is sadly in need of five hundred pounds."
"Are you the scoundrel who sent me that infamous letter?"
"Are you the jerk who sent me that infamous letter?"
The charming stranger never turned a hair.
The charming stranger didn’t react at all.
"I am the scoundrel mentioned in that infamous letter who wants to accost you at the Piccadilly end of the Burlington Arcade before half-past five—as witness my white hat and my gardenia."
"I’m the jerk mentioned in that notorious letter who wants to meet you at the Piccadilly end of the Burlington Arcade before 5:30—just look for my white hat and my gardenia."
"Where's my wife?"
"Where is my wife?"
The stranger gently swung his stick in front of him with his two hands. He regarded the duke as a merry-hearted son might regard his father. The thing was beautiful!
The stranger gently swung his stick in front of him with both hands. He looked at the duke like a cheerful son would look at his father. It was beautiful!
"Her grace will be home almost as soon as you are—when you have given me the money which I perceive you have all ready for me in that scarcely elegant-looking canvas bag." He shrugged his shoulders quite gracefully. "Unfortunately, in these matters one has no choice—one is forced to ask for gold."
"She'll be home almost as soon as you are—once you give me the money that I can see you have all set for me in that not-so-stylish canvas bag." He shrugged his shoulders somewhat elegantly. "Unfortunately, in these situations, there's no choice—you have to ask for cash."
"And suppose, instead of giving you what is in this canvas bag, I take you by the throat and choke the life right out of you?"
"And what if, instead of giving you what's in this canvas bag, I grabbed you by the throat and choked the life out of you?"
"Or suppose," amended Mr. Dacre, "that you do better, and commend this gentleman to the tender mercies of the first policeman we encounter."
"Or suppose," Mr. Dacre suggested, "that you manage to do better, and hand this guy over to the kind treatment of the first policeman we come across."
The stranger turned to Mr. Dacre. He condescended to become conscious of his presence.
The stranger turned to Mr. Dacre, making an effort to acknowledge him.
"Is this gentleman your grace's friend? Ah—Mr. Dacre, I perceive! I have the honor of knowing Mr. Dacre, though, possibly, I am unknown to him."
"Is this guy your grace's friend? Ah—Mr. Dacre, I see! It’s a pleasure to know Mr. Dacre, although he might not know me."
"You were—until this moment."
"You were—until now."
With an airy little laugh the stranger returned to the duke. He brushed an invisible speck of dust off the sleeve of his coat.
With a light laugh, the stranger turned back to the duke. He brushed off a nonexistent speck of dust from his coat sleeve.
"As has been intimated in that infamous letter, his grace is at perfect liberty to give me into custody—why not? Only"—he said it with his boyish smile—"if a particular communication is not received from me in certain quarters within a certain time the Duchess of Datchet's beautiful white arm will be hacked off at the shoulder."
"As mentioned in that infamous letter, he's totally free to have me arrested—why not? Just"—he said it with his boyish smile—"if a specific message isn't received from me in certain places within a set time, the Duchess of Datchet's beautiful white arm will be chopped off at the shoulder."
"You hound!"
"You dog!"
The duke would have taken the stranger by the throat, and have done his best to choke the life right out of him then and there, if Mr. Dacre had not intervened.
The duke would have grabbed the stranger by the throat and tried to choke the life out of him right then and there if Mr. Dacre hadn't stepped in.
"Steady, old man!" Mr. Dacre turned to the stranger. "You appear to be a pretty sort of a scoundrel."
"Hold on there, old man!" Mr. Dacre said to the stranger. "You seem like quite the scoundrel."
The stranger gave his shoulders that almost imperceptible shrug.
The stranger gave a slight, almost unnoticeable shrug of his shoulders.
"Oh, my dear Dacre, I am in want of money! I believe that you sometimes are in want of money, too."
"Oh, my dear Dacre, I need some money! I think you sometimes need money, too."
Everybody knows that nobody knows where Ivor Dacre gets his money from, so the allusion must have tickled him immensely.
Everybody knows that no one has any idea where Ivor Dacre gets his money, so the reference must have amused him a lot.
"You're a cool hand," he said.
"You're amazing," he said.
"Some men are born that way."
"Some men are just born that way."
"So I should imagine. Men like you must be born, not made."
"So I can imagine. Men like you are born, not made."
"Precisely—as you say!" The stranger turned, with his graceful smile, to the duke: "But are we not wasting precious time? I can assure your grace that, in this particular matter, moments are of value."
"Exactly—just as you said!" The stranger turned to the duke with a charming smile: "But aren't we wasting valuable time? I can assure you, your grace, that in this situation, every moment counts."
Mr. Dacre interposed before the duke could answer.
Mr. Dacre interrupted before the duke could respond.
"If you take my strongly urged advice, Datchet, you will summon this constable who is now coming down the Arcade, and hand this gentleman over to his keeping. I do not think that you need fear that the duchess will lose her arm, or even her little finger. Scoundrels of this one's kidney are most amenable to reason when they have handcuffs on their wrists."
"If you take my advice seriously, Datchet, you'll call that constable who's coming down the Arcade and hand this guy over to him. I don't believe you need to worry about the duchess losing her arm or even her little finger. Despicable individuals like this one usually respond well to reason when they're cuffed."
The duke plainly hesitated. He would—and he would not. The stranger, as he eyed him, seemed much amused.
The duke clearly hesitated. He wanted to—and he didn’t want to. The stranger, watching him, looked quite entertained.
"My dear duke, by all means act on Mr. Dacre's valuable suggestion. As I said before, why not? It would at least be interesting to see if the duchess does or does not lose her arm—almost as interesting to you as to Mr. Dacre. Those blackmailing, kidnaping scoundrels do use such empty menaces. Besides, you would have the pleasure of seeing me locked up. My imprisonment for life would recompense you even for the loss of her grace's arm. And five hundred pounds is such a sum to have to pay—merely for a wife! Why not, therefore, act on Mr. Dacre's suggestion? Here comes the constable." The constable referred to was advancing toward them—he was not a dozen yards away. "Let me beckon to him—I will with pleasure." He took out his watch—a gold chronograph repeater. "There are scarcely ten minutes left during which it will be possible for me to send the communication which I spoke of, so that it may arrive in time. As it will then be too late, and the instruments are already prepared for the little operation which her grace is eagerly anticipating, it would, perhaps, be as well, after all, that you should give me into charge. You would have saved your five hundred pounds, and you would, at any rate, have something in exchange for her grace's mutilated limb. Ah, here is the constable! Officer!"
"My dear duke, please go ahead and follow Mr. Dacre's valuable suggestion. Like I said before, why not? It would at least be interesting to see if the duchess loses her arm or not—almost as interesting for you as it is for Mr. Dacre. Those blackmailing, kidnapping scoundrels make such empty threats. Plus, you'd get the satisfaction of seeing me arrested. My life sentence would make up for your loss of her grace's arm. And five hundred pounds is quite a price to pay—just for a wife! So why not go with Mr. Dacre's idea? Here comes the constable." The constable in question was approaching them—he was not even a dozen yards away. "Let me call him over—I’ll do it gladly." He pulled out his watch—a gold chronograph repeater. "There are barely ten minutes left for me to send the message I mentioned, so it can arrive on time. After that, it will be too late, and the tools are already set up for the little procedure that her grace is looking forward to. It might be best if you hand me over after all. You'd save your five hundred pounds, and at least you’d get something in return for her grace's damaged limb. Ah, here comes the constable! Officer!"
The stranger spoke with such a pleasant little air of easy geniality that it was impossible to tell if he were in jest or in earnest. This fact impressed the duke much more than if he had gone in for a liberal indulgence of the—under the circumstances—orthodox melodramatic scowling. And, indeed, in the face of his own common sense, it impressed Mr. Ivor Dacre too.
The stranger spoke with such a charming, relaxed vibe that it was hard to tell if he was joking or serious. This affected the duke much more than if he had opted for the usual melodramatic scowl that would typically be expected in such situations. In fact, despite his own common sense, it also impressed Mr. Ivor Dacre.
This well-bred, well-groomed youth was just the being to realize—aux bouts des ongles—a modern type of the devil, the type which depicts him as a perfect gentleman, who keeps smiling all the time.
This polished, well-groomed young man was exactly the kind of person to embody—aux bouts des ongles—a modern version of the devil, the kind that shows him as the perfect gentleman, who is always smiling.
The constable whom this audacious rogue had signaled approached the little group. He addressed the stranger:
The constable that this bold troublemaker had signaled walked over to the small group. He spoke to the stranger:
"Do you want me, sir?"
"Do you want me, sir?"
"No, I do not want you. I think it is the Duke of Datchet."
"No, I don't want you. I think it's the Duke of Datchet."
The constable, who knew the duke very well by sight, saluted him as he turned to receive instructions.
The constable, who recognized the duke quite well, greeted him as he turned to get instructions.
The duke looked white, even savage. There was not a pleasant look in his eyes and about his lips. He appeared to be endeavoring to put a great restraint upon himself. There was a momentary silence. Mr. Dacre made a movement as if to interpose. The duke caught him by the arm.
The duke looked pale, even fierce. There was an unpleasant expression in his eyes and around his mouth. He seemed to be trying hard to hold himself back. There was a brief moment of silence. Mr. Dacre moved as if to step in. The duke grabbed him by the arm.
He spoke: "No, constable, I do not want you. This person is mistaken."
He said, "No, officer, I don't need you. This person is confused."
The constable looked as if he could not quite make out how such a mistake could have arisen, hesitated, then, with another salute, he moved away.
The constable looked confused, as if he couldn't understand how such a mistake happened. He hesitated, then, with another salute, he walked away.
The stranger was still holding his watch in his hand.
The stranger was still holding his watch in his hand.
"Only eight minutes," he said.
"Just eight minutes," he said.
The duke seemed to experience some difficulty in giving utterance to what he had to say.
The duke appeared to struggle a bit in expressing what he wanted to say.
"If I give you this five hundred pounds, you—you—"
"If I give you this five hundred pounds, you—you—"
As the duke paused, as if at a loss for language which was strong enough to convey his meaning, the stranger laughed.
As the duke paused, seeming unable to find words strong enough to express his thoughts, the stranger laughed.
"Let us take the adjectives for granted. Besides, it is only boys who call each other names—men do things. If you give me the five hundred sovereigns, which you have in that bag, at once—in five minutes it will be too late—I will promise—I will not swear; if you do not credit my simple promise, you will not believe my solemn affirmation—I will promise that, possibly within an hour, certainly within an hour and a half, the Duchess of Datchet shall return to you absolutely uninjured—except, of course, as you are already aware, with regard to a few of the hairs of her head. I will promise this on the understanding that you do not yourself attempt to see where I go, and that you will allow no one else to do so." This with a glance at Ivor Dacre. "I shall know at once if I am followed. If you entertain such intentions, you had better, on all accounts, remain in possession of your five hundred pounds."
"Let’s not worry about the adjectives. Besides, it’s only boys who insult each other—grown men take action. If you hand me the five hundred sovereigns you have in that bag right now—in five minutes, it’ll be too late—I promise—I won't swear; if you don’t trust my simple promise, you won’t believe my serious affirmation—I promise that, probably within an hour, definitely within an hour and a half, the Duchess of Datchet will be returned to you completely unharmed—except, of course, for a few hairs on her head, as you already know. I make this promise on the condition that you don’t try to see where I’m going, and that you won’t let anyone else do so." This while glancing at Ivor Dacre. "I’ll know immediately if I’m being followed. If you’re planning to do that, you’d better keep your five hundred pounds."
The duke eyed him very grimly.
The duke looked at him very seriously.
"I entertain no such intentions—until the duchess returns."
"I have no plans like that—until the duchess comes back."
Again the stranger indulged in that musical laugh of his.
Again, the stranger let out that musical laugh of his.
"Ah, until the duchess returns! Of course, then the bargain's at an end. When you are once more in the enjoyment of her grace's society, you will be at liberty to set all the dogs in Europe at my heels. I assure you I fully expect that you will do so—why not?" The duke raised the canvas bag. "My dear duke, ten thousand thanks! You shall see her grace at Datchet House, 'pon my honor, probably within the hour."
"Ah, until the duchess gets back! Then the deal's off. Once you’re back in her grace’s company, you can set all the dogs in Europe on my trail. I fully expect you to do that—why not?" The duke lifted the canvas bag. "Thank you so much, my dear duke! I promise you’ll see her grace at Datchet House, probably within the hour."
"Well," commented Ivor Dacre, when the stranger had vanished, with the bag, into Piccadilly, and as the duke and himself moved toward Burlington Gardens, "if a gentleman is to be robbed, it is as well that he should have another gentleman rob him."
"Well," said Ivor Dacre, after the stranger disappeared with the bag into Piccadilly, and as he and the duke walked toward Burlington Gardens, "if a gentleman is going to get robbed, it’s better that another gentleman does it."
III
Mr. Dacre eyed his companion covertly as they progressed. His Grace of Datchet appeared to have some fresh cause for uneasiness. All at once he gave it utterance, in a tone of voice which was extremely somber:
Mr. Dacre glanced at his companion secretly as they moved along. The Duke of Datchet seemed to have a new reason for concern. Suddenly, he expressed it in a very serious tone:
"Ivor, do you think that scoundrel will dare to play me false?"
"Ivor, do you think that jerk will actually try to trick me?"
"I think," murmured Mr. Dacre, "that he has dared to play you pretty false already."
"I think," murmured Mr. Dacre, "that he has already dared to deceive you pretty badly."
"I don't mean that. But I mean how am I to know, now that he has his money, that he will still not keep Mabel in his clutches?"
"I don't mean that. But what I mean is, how can I know that now that he has his money, he won't still keep Mabel under his control?"
There came an echo from Mr. Dacre.
There was an echo from Mr. Dacre.
"Just so—how are you to know?"
"Exactly—how are you supposed to know?"
"I believe that something of this sort has been done in the States."
"I think something like this has already been done in the States."
"I thought that there they were content to kidnap them after they were dead. I was not aware that they had, as yet, got quite so far as the living."
"I thought they were only happy to kidnap people after they were dead. I didn’t realize they had actually gone so far as to go after the living."
"I believe that I have heard of something just like this."
"I think I've heard of something just like this before."
"Possibly; they are giants over there."
"Maybe; they're huge over there."
"And in that case the scoundrels, when their demands were met, refused to keep to the letter of their bargain and asked for more."
"And in that case, the scoundrels, when their demands were met, refused to stick to the terms of their agreement and asked for more."
The duke stood still. He clinched his fists, and swore:
The duke stood still. He clenched his fists and swore:
"Ivor, if that—villain doesn't keep his word, and Mabel isn't home within the hour, by—I shall go mad!"
"Ivor, if that villain doesn't keep his word and Mabel isn't home within the hour, I swear I will go crazy!"
"My dear Datchet"—Mr. Dacre loved strong language as little as he loved a scene—"let us trust to time and, a little, to your white-hatted and gardenia-buttonholed friend's word of honor. You should have thought of possible eventualities before you showed your confidence—really. Suppose, instead of going mad, we first of all go home?"
"My dear Datchet," Mr. Dacre disliked strong language as much as he disliked drama, "let's count on time and, to some extent, your friend in the white hat with the gardenia in his lapel to keep his word. You should have considered possible outcomes before you put your trust in him—honestly. What if, instead of losing our minds, we just went home first?"
A hansom stood waiting for a fare at the end of the Arcade. Mr. Dacre had handed the duke into it before his grace had quite realized that the vehicle was there.
A cab was waiting for a passenger at the end of the Arcade. Mr. Dacre had helped the duke into it before he even noticed that the cab was there.
"Tell the fellow to drive faster." That was what the duke said when the cab had started.
"Tell the guy to drive faster." That was what the duke said once the cab had taken off.
"My dear Datchet, the man's already driving his geerage off its legs. If a bobby catches sight of him he'll take his number."
"My dear Datchet, the guy is already pushing his gear into overdrive. If a cop spots him, he’ll get his number."
A moment later, a murmur from the duke:
A moment later, the duke murmured:
"I don't know if you're aware that the prince is coming to dinner?"
"I don't know if you know that the prince is coming for dinner?"
"I am perfectly aware of it."
"I know everything about it."
"You take it uncommonly cool. How easy it is to bear our brother's burdens! Ivor, if Mabel doesn't turn up I shall feel like murder."
"You’re taking this really well. It’s so easy to handle our brother’s problems! Ivor, if Mabel doesn’t show up, I’m going to lose it."
"I sympathize with you, Datchet, with all my heart, though, I may observe, parenthetically, that I very far from realize the situation even yet. Take my advice. If the duchess does not show quite as soon as we both of us desire, don't make a scene; just let me see what I can do."
"I feel for you, Datchet, truly, even though I have to say, I still don’t fully understand the situation. Take my advice. If the duchess doesn’t arrive as soon as we’d like, don’t cause a scene; just let me see what I can do."
Judging from the expression of his countenance, the duke was conscious of no overwhelming desire to witness an exhibition of Mr. Dacre's prowess.
Judging by the look on his face, the duke had no strong urge to see Mr. Dacre show off his skills.
When the cab reached Datchet House his grace dashed up the steps three at a time. The door flew open.
When the cab arrived at Datchet House, he quickly ran up the steps three at a time. The door swung open.
"Has the duchess returned?"
"Is the duchess back?"
"Hereward!"
"Hereward!"
A voice floated downward from above. Some one came running down the stairs. It was her Grace of Datchet.
A voice drifted down from above. Someone came running down the stairs. It was her Grace of Datchet.
"Mabel!"
"Mabel!"
She actually rushed into the duke's extended arms. And he kissed her, and she kissed him—before the servants.
She actually ran into the duke's open arms. He kissed her, and she kissed him—right in front of the servants.
"So you're not quite dead?" she cried.
"So you're not really dead?" she exclaimed.
"I am almost," he said.
"I'm almost there," he said.
She drew herself a little away from him.
She moved a little away from him.
"Hereward, were you seriously hurt?"
"Hereward, were you really hurt?"
"Do you suppose that I could have been otherwise than seriously hurt?"
"Do you really think I could have not been seriously hurt?"
"My darling! Was it a Pickford's van?"
"My darling! Was it a Pickford's truck?"
The duke stared.
The duke gawked.
"A Pickford's van? I don't understand. But come in here. Come along, Ivor. Mabel, you don't see Ivor."
"A Pickford's van? I don't get it. But come in here. Let's go, Ivor. Mabel, you don't see Ivor."
"How do you do, Mr. Dacre?"
"How's it going, Mr. Dacre?"
Then the trio withdrew into a little anteroom; it was really time. Even then the pair conducted themselves as if Mr. Dacre had been nothing and no one. The duke took the lady's two hands in his. He eyed her fondly.
Then the trio moved into a small anteroom; it was definitely time. Even then, the couple acted like Mr. Dacre didn’t exist. The duke took the lady's hands in his. He looked at her affectionately.
"So you are uninjured, with the exception of that lock of hair. Where did the villain take it from?"
"So you're unharmed, except for that lock of hair. Where did the villain take it from?"
The lady looked a little puzzled.
The woman looked a bit confused.
"What lock of hair?"
"What strand of hair?"
From an envelope which he took from his pocket the duke produced a shining tress. It was the lock of hair which had arrived in the first communication. "I will have it framed."
From an envelope he pulled from his pocket, the duke took out a gleaming lock of hair. It was the same hair that came with the first message. "I’m going to frame it."
"You will have what framed?" The duchess glanced at what the duke was so tenderly caressing, almost, as it seemed, a little dubiously. "Whatever is it you have there?"
"You have what framed?" The duchess looked at what the duke was holding so gently, almost with a hint of doubt. "What exactly do you have there?"
"It is the lock of hair which that scoundrel sent me." Something in the lady's face caused him to ask a question; "Didn't he tell you he had sent it to me?"
"It’s the lock of hair that jerk sent me." Something in the lady's expression made him ask, "Didn’t he tell you he sent it to me?"
"Hereward!"
"Hey, Hereward!"
"Did the brute tell you that he meant to cut off your little finger?"
"Did that guy tell you he was planning to cut off your little finger?"
A very curious look came into the lady's face. She glanced at the duke as if she, all at once, was half afraid of him. She cast at Mr. Dacre what really seemed to be a look of inquiry. Her voice was tremulously anxious.
A very curious expression appeared on the lady's face. She glanced at the duke as if she was suddenly half afraid of him. She threw Mr. Dacre what genuinely seemed like a questioning look. Her voice was unsteady and filled with worry.
"Hereward, did—did the accident affect you mentally?"
"Hereward, did the accident impact you mentally?"
"How could it not have affected me mentally? Do you think that my mental organization is of steel?"
"How could it not have messed with my mind? Do you think my mental setup is made of steel?"
"But you look so well."
"But you look great."
"Of course I look well, now that I have you back again. Tell me, darling, did that hound actually threaten you with cutting off your arm? If he did, I shall feel half inclined to kill him yet."
"Of course I look great now that you're back. Tell me, sweetheart, did that jerk really threaten to cut off your arm? If he did, I'm definitely considering taking him out."
The duchess seemed positively to shrink from her better half's near neighborhood.
The duchess appeared to actively avoid being close to her husband.
"Hereward, was it a Pickford's van?"
"Hereward, was it a Pickford's van?"
The duke seemed puzzled. Well he might be.
The duke looked confused. It's no wonder he was.
"Was what a Pickford's van?"
"Was that a Pickford's van?"
The lady turned to Mr. Dacre. In her voice there was a ring of anguish.
The lady turned to Mr. Dacre. Her voice was filled with anguish.
"Mr. Dacre, tell me, was it a Pickford's van?"
"Mr. Dacre, can you tell me if it was a Pickford's van?"
Ivor could only imitate his relative's repetition of her inquiry.
Ivor could only mimic his relative's repeated question.
"I don't quite catch you—was what a Pickford's van?"
"I don’t quite get you—what was a Pickford’s van?"
The duchess clasped her hands in front of her.
The duchess put her hands together in front of her.
"What is it you are keeping from me? What is it you are trying to hide? I implore you to tell me the worst, whatever it may be! Do not keep me any longer in suspense; you do not know what I already have endured. Mr. Dacre, is my husband mad?"
"What are you hiding from me? What are you trying to keep secret? I urge you to tell me the truth, no matter how bad it is! Don’t keep me waiting; you have no idea what I’ve already been through. Mr. Dacre, is my husband crazy?"
One need scarcely observe that the lady's amazing appeal to Mr. Dacre as to her husband's sanity was received with something like surprise. As the duke continued to stare at her, a dreadful fear began to loom in his brain.
One hardly needs to notice that the woman's incredible plea to Mr. Dacre about her husband's mental state was met with surprise. As the duke kept staring at her, a terrifying fear started to creep into his mind.
"My darling, your brain is unhinged!"
"My darling, your mind is out of control!"
He advanced to take her two hands again in his; but, to his unmistakable distress, she shrank away from him.
He moved forward to take her hands again in his, but, to his clear distress, she pulled away from him.
"Hereward—don't touch me. How is it that I missed you? Why did you not wait until I came?"
"Hereward—don’t touch me. How did I not see you? Why didn’t you wait for me to arrive?"
"Wait until you came?"
"Wait until you arrive?"
The duke's bewilderment increased.
The duke's confusion grew.
"Surely, if your injuries turned out, after all, to be slight, that was all the more reason why you should have waited, after sending for me like that."
"Surely, if your injuries turned out to be minor after all, that was even more reason for you to have waited after calling for me like that."
"I sent for you—I?" The duke's tone was grave. "My darling, perhaps you had better come upstairs."
"I called you—I?" The duke's tone was serious. "My dear, maybe you should come upstairs."
"Not until we have had an explanation. You must have known that I should come. Why did you not wait for me after you had sent me that?"
"Not until we've had an explanation. You must have known I would come. Why didn't you wait for me after sending that?"
The duchess held out something to the duke. He took it. It was a card—his own visiting card. Something was written on the back of it. He read aloud what was written.
The duchess handed something to the duke. He accepted it. It was a card—his own visiting card. There was something written on the back. He read aloud what it said.
"Mabel, come to me at once with the bearer. They tell me that they cannot take me home." It looks like my own writing."
"Mabel, come here right now with the messenger. They say they can't take me home." It looks like my own writing."
"Looks like it! It is your writing."
"Looks like it! That’s your writing."
"It looks like it—and written with a shaky pen."
"It seems that way—and it's written with a shaky hand."
"My dear child, one's hand would shake at such a moment as that."
"My dear child, your hand would shake at a moment like that."
"Mabel, where did you get this?"
"Mabel, where did you get this?"
"It was brought to me in Cane and Wilson's."
"It was brought to me at Cane and Wilson's."
"Who brought it?"
"Who brought this?"
"Who brought it? Why, the man you sent."
"Who brought it? Oh, the guy you sent."
"The man I sent!" A light burst upon the duke's brain. He fell back a pace. "It's the decoy!"
"The guy I sent!" A light went off in the duke's mind. He took a step back. "It's the decoy!"
Her grace echoed the words:
Her elegance echoed the words:
"The decoy?"
"Is that the decoy?"
"The scoundrel! To set a trap with such a bait! My poor innocent darling, did you think it came from me? Tell me, Mabel, where did he cut off your hair?"
"The jerk! To set a trap with such a lure! My poor innocent darling, did you think it was from me? Tell me, Mabel, where did he cut off your hair?"
"Cut off my hair?"
"Should I cut my hair?"
Her grace put her hand to her head as if to make sure that her hair was there.
Her grace placed her hand on her head as if to check that her hair was still there.
"Where did he take you to?"
"Where did he take you?"
"He took me to Draper's Buildings."
"He took me to Draper's Buildings."
"Draper's Buildings?"
"Draper's Buildings?"
"I have never been in the City before, but he told me it was Draper's Buildings. Isn't that near the Stock Exchange?"
"I've never been to the City before, but he told me it's Draper's Buildings. Isn't that close to the Stock Exchange?"
"Near the Stock Exchange?"
"Close to the Stock Exchange?"
It seemed rather a curious place to which to take a kidnaped victim. The man's audacity!
It felt like a strange place to bring a kidnapped victim. The man's boldness!
"He told me that you were coming out of the Stock Exchange when a van knocked you over. He said that he thought it was a Pickford's van—was it a Pickford's van?"
"He said you were leaving the Stock Exchange when a van hit you. He thought it was a Pickford's van—was it a Pickford's van?"
"No, it was not a Pickford's van. Mabel, were you in Draper's Buildings when you wrote that letter?"
"No, it wasn't a Pickford's van. Mabel, were you at Draper's Buildings when you wrote that letter?"
"Wrote what letter?"
"Wrote which letter?"
"Have you forgotten it already? I do not believe that there is a word in it which will not be branded on my brain until I die."
"Have you already forgotten it? I don't think there's a single word in it that won't be etched in my mind until I die."
"Hereward! What do you mean?"
"Hereward! What do you mean?"
"Surely you cannot have written me such a letter as that, and then have forgotten it already?"
"Surely you can’t have written me a letter like that and then forgotten it already?"
He handed her the letter which had arrived in the second communication. She glanced at it, askance. Then she took it with a little gasp.
He handed her the letter that had come in the second message. She looked at it with suspicion. Then she took it with a small gasp.
"Hereward, if you don't mind, I think I'll take a chair." She took a chair. "Whatever—whatever's this?" As she read the letter the varying expressions which passed across her face were, in themselves, a study in psychology. "Is it possible that you can imagine that, under any conceivable circumstances, I could have written such a letter as this?"
"Hereward, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll grab a chair." She took a seat. "What—what’s this?" As she read the letter, the different expressions on her face were, in themselves, a lesson in psychology. "Is it really possible that you think I could have written a letter like this under any circumstances?"
"Mabel!"
"Mabel!"
She rose to her feet with emphasis.
She stood up with emphasis.
"Hereward, don't say that you thought this came from me!"
"Hereward, please don't say you thought this was from me!"
"Not from you?" He remembered Knowles's diplomatic reception of the epistle on its first appearance. "I suppose that you will say next that this is not a lock of your hair?"
"Not from you?" He recalled Knowles's diplomatic response to the letter when it first came out. "I guess you’ll say next that this isn't a lock of your hair?"
"My dear child, what bee have you got in your bonnet? This a lock of my hair! Why, it's not in the least bit like my hair!"
"My dear child, what’s buzzing around in your head? This is a lock of my hair! It doesn’t look anything like my hair at all!"
Which was certainly inaccurate. As far as color was concerned it was an almost perfect match. The duke turned to Mr. Dacre.
Which was definitely not true. As far as color went, it was almost a perfect match. The duke turned to Mr. Dacre.
"Ivor, I've had to go through a good deal this afternoon. If I have to go through much more, something will crack!" He touched his forehead. "I think it's my turn to take a chair." Not the one which the duchess had vacated, but one which faced it. He stretched out his legs in front of him; he thrust his hands into his trousers pockets; he said, in a tone which was not gloomy but absolutely grewsome:
"Ivor, I've had to deal with a lot this afternoon. If I go through much more, I'm going to lose it!" He touched his forehead. "I think it's my turn to sit down." Not in the chair the duchess had left, but one that faced it. He stretched his legs out in front of him, shoved his hands into his pants pockets, and said in a tone that wasn't gloomy but was definitely unsettling:
"Might I ask, Mabel, if you have been kidnaped?"
“Might I ask, Mabel, if you’ve been kidnapped?”
"Kidnaped?"
"Kidnapped?"
"The word I used was 'kidnaped.' But I will spell it if you like. Or I will get a dictionary, that you may see its meaning."
"The word I used was 'kidnapped.' But I can spell it for you if you want. Or I can get a dictionary so you can see its meaning."
The duchess looked as if she was beginning to be not quite sure if she was awake or sleeping. She turned to Ivor.
The duchess appeared to be unsure whether she was awake or dreaming. She turned to Ivor.
"Mr. Dacre, has the accident affected Hereward's brain?"
"Mr. Dacre, has the accident impacted Hereward's brain?"
The duke took the words out of his cousin's mouth.
The duke spoke exactly what his cousin was thinking.
"On that point, my dear, let me ease your mind. I don't know if you are under the impression that I should be the same shape after a Pickford's van had run over me as I was before; but, in any case, I have not been run over by a Pickford's van. So far as I am concerned there has been no accident. Dismiss that delusion from your mind."
"About that, my dear, let me put your mind at ease. I don't know if you think I should look the same after being run over by a Pickford's van as I did before, but just to be clear, I haven't been hit by one. As far as I'm concerned, nothing happened. Forget that idea."
"Oh!"
"Oh!"
"You appear surprised. One might even think that you were sorry. But may I now ask what you did when you arrived at Draper's Buildings?"
"You look surprised. One could even assume that you're feeling sorry. But can I ask what you did when you got to Draper's Buildings?"
"Did! I looked for you!"
"Found you! I was looking!"
"Indeed! And when you had looked in vain, what was the next item in your programme?"
"Definitely! And when you had searched without success, what was the next thing on your schedule?"
The lady shrank still farther from him.
The woman pulled away even more from him.
"Hereward, have you been having a jest at my expense? Can you have been so cruel?" Tears stood in her eyes.
"Hereward, have you been making fun of me? Could you really be that cruel?" Tears filled her eyes.
Rising, the duke laid his hand upon her arm.
Rising, the duke placed his hand on her arm.
"Mabel, tell me—what did you do when you had looked for me in vain?"
"Mabel, tell me—what did you do when you looked for me without success?"
"I looked for you upstairs and downstairs and everywhere. It was quite a large place, it took me ever such a time. I thought that I should go distracted. Nobody seemed to know anything about you, or even that there had been an accident at all—it was all offices. I couldn't make it out in the least, and the people didn't seem to be able to make me out either. So when I couldn't find you anywhere I came straight home again."
"I searched for you upstairs, downstairs, and everywhere in between. It was a pretty big place, and it took me a long time. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Nobody seemed to know anything about you or that there had even been an accident—it was all just offices. I couldn’t figure it out at all, and the people didn’t seem to understand me either. So when I couldn’t find you anywhere, I came straight home."
The duke was silent for a moment. Then with funereal gravity he turned to Mr. Dacre. He put to him this question:
The duke was quiet for a moment. Then, with a serious expression, he turned to Mr. Dacre. He asked him this question:
"Ivor, what are you laughing at?"
"Ivor, what's so hilarious?"
Mr. Dacre drew his hand across his mouth with rather a suspicious gesture.
Mr. Dacre wiped his mouth with a somewhat suspicious gesture.
"My dear fellow, only a smile!"
"My dear friend, just a smile!"
The duchess looked from one to the other.
The duchess glanced back and forth between them.
"What have you two been doing? What is the joke?"
"What have you two been up to? What's the joke?"
With an air of preternatural solemnity the duke took two letters from the breast pocket of his coat.
With an eerie seriousness, the duke took two letters from the breast pocket of his coat.
"Mabel, you have already seen your letter. You have already seen the lock of your hair. Just look at this—and that."
"Mabel, you've already seen your letter. You've already seen the lock of your hair. Just look at this—and that."
He gave her the two very singular communications which had arrived in such a mysterious manner, and so quickly one after the other. She read them with wide-open eyes.
He handed her the two very unusual messages that had come in such a mysterious way, arriving so quickly one after the other. She read them with wide eyes.
"Hereward! Wherever did these come from?"
"Hereward! Where did these come from?"
The duke was standing with his legs apart, and his hands in his trousers pockets. "I would give—I would give another five hundred pounds to know. Shall I tell you, madam, what I have been doing? I have been presenting five hundred golden sovereigns to a perfect stranger, with a top hat, and a gardenia in his buttonhole."
The duke was standing with his legs apart and his hands in his pockets. "I would give—I would give another five hundred pounds to know. Should I tell you, madam, what I've been up to? I've been handing over five hundred gold sovereigns to a complete stranger, wearing a top hat and a gardenia in his buttonhole."
"Whatever for?"
"Why?"
"If you have perused those documents which you have in your hand, you will have some faint idea. Ivor, when it's your funeral, I'll smile. Mabel, Duchess of Datchet, it is beginning to dawn upon the vacuum which represents my brain that I've been the victim of one of the prettiest things in practical jokes that ever yet was planned. When that fellow brought you that card at Cane and Wilson's—which, I need scarcely tell you, never came from me—some one walked out of the front entrance who was so exactly like you that both Barnes and Moysey took her for you. Moysey showed her into the carriage, and Barnes drove her home. But when the carriage reached home it was empty. Your double had got out upon the road."
"If you've gone through those documents you have, you might have a slight idea. Ivor, when it's your funeral, I'll be smiling. Mabel, Duchess of Datchet, I'm starting to realize that I've been the target of one of the cleverest practical jokes ever pulled. When that guy brought you that card at Cane and Wilson's—which, I should mention, didn't come from me—someone walked out of the front entrance who looked so much like you that both Barnes and Moysey thought she was you. Moysey helped her into the carriage, and Barnes drove her home. But when the carriage got there, it was empty. Your lookalike had gotten out on the road."
The duchess uttered a sound which was half gasp, half sigh.
The duchess let out a sound that was part gasp, part sigh.
"Hereward!"
"Hey, Hereward!"
"Barnes and Moysey, with beautiful and childlike innocence, when they found that they had brought the thing home empty, came straightway and told me that you had jumped out of the brougham while it had been driving full pelt through the streets. While I was digesting that piece of information there came the first epistle, with the lock of your hair. Before I had time to digest that there came the second epistle, with yours inside."
"Barnes and Moysey, with a lovely and naive innocence, told me right away that you had jumped out of the brougham while it was speeding through the streets after they realized they had brought the thing home empty. While I was processing that news, the first letter arrived, along with a lock of your hair. Before I could even wrap my head around that, the second letter arrived, with yours inside."
"It seems incredible!"
"That’s unbelievable!"
"It sounds incredible; but unfathomable is the folly of man, especially of a man who loves his wife." The duke crossed to Mr. Dacre. "I don't want, Ivor, to suggest anything in the way of bribery and corruption, but if you could keep this matter to yourself, and not mention it to your friends, our white-hatted and gardenia-buttonholed acquaintance is welcome to his five hundred pounds, and—Mabel, what on earth are you laughing at?"
"It sounds unbelievable; but the foolishness of people, especially a man who loves his wife, is beyond comprehension." The duke walked over to Mr. Dacre. "I don't want to imply anything about bribery or corruption, but if you could keep this to yourself and not bring it up with your friends, our good-natured acquaintance with the gardenia in his lapel is free to have his five hundred pounds, and—Mabel, what in the world are you laughing at?"
The duchess appeared, all at once, to be seized with inextinguishable laughter.
The duchess suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"Hereward," she cried, "just think how that man must be laughing at you!"
"Hereward," she shouted, "just imagine how that guy must be laughing at you!"
And the Duke of Datchet thought of it.
And the Duke of Datchet considered it.
The Minor Canon
It was Monday, and in the afternoon, as I was walking along the High Street of Marchbury, I was met by a distinguished-looking person whom I had observed at the services in the cathedral on the previous day. Now it chanced on that Sunday that I was singing the service. Properly speaking, it was not my turn; but, as my brother minor canons were either away from Marchbury or ill in bed, I was the only one left to perform the necessary duty. The distinguished-looking person was a tall, big man with a round fat face and small features. His eyes, his hair and mustache (his face was bare but for a small mustache) were quite black, and he had a very pleasant and genial expression. He wore a tall hat, set rather jauntily on his head, and he was dressed in black with a long frock coat buttoned across the chest and fitting him close to the body. As he came, with a half saunter, half swagger, along the street, I knew him again at once by his appearance; and, as he came nearer, I saw from his manner that he was intending to stop and speak to me, for he slightly raised his hat and in a soft, melodious voice with a colonial "twang" which was far from being disagreeable, and which, indeed, to my ear gave a certain additional interest to his remarks, he saluted me with "Good day, sir!"
It was Monday afternoon, and as I was walking down High Street in Marchbury, I ran into a distinguished-looking man I had seen at the cathedral service the day before. On that Sunday, I had been singing at the service. Technically, it wasn’t my turn, but since my fellow minor canons were either away or unwell, I was the only one left to take on the task. The distinguished-looking man was tall and big, with a round, pudgy face and small features. His eyes, hair, and mustache (the rest of his face was clean-shaven except for a small mustache) were all black, and he had a very pleasant, friendly expression. He wore a tall hat tilted jauntily on his head and was dressed in black with a long frock coat buttoned tightly across his chest. As he approached, half strolling, half strutting, I recognized him immediately by his appearance; and as he got closer, it became clear from his demeanor that he intended to stop and talk to me. He slightly lifted his hat and greeted me in a soft, melodious voice with a colonial "twang" that was quite pleasing. It actually added a certain charm to his words as he said, "Good day, sir!"
"Good day," I answered, with just a little reserve in my tone.
"Good day," I replied, with a slight hesitation in my tone.
"I hope, sir," he began, "you will excuse my stopping you in the street, but I wish to tell you how very much I enjoyed the music at your cathedral yesterday. I am an Australian, sir, and we have no such music in my country."
"I hope you don't mind me stopping you on the street, sir," he started, "but I wanted to say how much I enjoyed the music at your cathedral yesterday. I'm from Australia, and we don't have music like that back home."
"I suppose not," I said.
"I guess not," I said.
"No, sir," he went on, "nothing nearly so fine. I am very fond of music, and as my business brought me in this direction, I thought I would stop at your city and take the opportunity of paying a visit to your grand cathedral. And I am delighted I came; so pleased, indeed, that I should like to leave some memorial of my visit behind me. I should like, sir, to do something for your choir."
"No, sir," he continued, "nothing quite that special. I really enjoy music, and since my work brought me this way, I thought I’d stop in your city and take the chance to visit your magnificent cathedral. I'm so glad I did; in fact, I'm so pleased that I’d like to leave a token of my visit. I would like, sir, to do something for your choir."
"I am sure it is very kind of you," I replied.
"I’m sure that's very kind of you," I replied.
"Yes, I should certainly be glad if you could suggest to me something I might do in this way. As regards money, I may say that I have plenty of it. I am the owner of a most valuable property. My business relations extend throughout the world, and if I am as fortunate in the projects of the future as I have been in the past, I shall probably one day achieve the proud position of being the richest man in the world."
"Yes, I would definitely appreciate it if you could suggest something I might do in this regard. As for money, I can say that I have plenty of it. I own a very valuable property. My business connections span the globe, and if I'm as successful in future projects as I have been in the past, I will probably one day become the richest person in the world."
I did not like to undertake myself the responsibility of advising or suggesting, so I simply said:
I didn't want to take on the responsibility of giving advice or making suggestions, so I just said:
"I cannot venture to say, offhand, what would be the most acceptable way of showing your great kindness and generosity, but I should certainly recommend you to put yourself in communication with the dean."
"I can't say right away what the best way would be to show your kindness and generosity, but I would definitely recommend you get in touch with the dean."
"Thank you, sir," said my Australian friend, "I will do so. And now, sir," he continued, "let me say how much I admire your voice. It is, without exception, the very finest and clearest voice I have ever heard."
"Thank you, sir," said my Australian friend. "I'll do that. And now, sir," he continued, "let me say how much I admire your voice. It is, without a doubt, the finest and clearest voice I’ve ever heard."
"Really," I answered, quite overcome with such unqualified praise, "really it is very good of you to say so."
"Honestly," I replied, really touched by such unreserved compliments, "it's really nice of you to say that."
"Ah, but I feel it, my dear sir. I have been round the world, from Sydney to Frisco, across the continent of America" (he called it Amerrker) "to New York City, then on to England, and to-morrow I shall leave your city to continue my travels. But in all my experience I have never heard so grand a voice as your own."
"Ah, but I feel it, my dear sir. I have traveled all over the world, from Sydney to San Francisco, across the continent of America (which you call Amerrker) to New York City, then on to England, and tomorrow I will leave your city to continue my journey. But in all my experiences, I have never heard a voice as grand as yours."
This and a great deal more he said in the same strain, which modesty forbids me to reproduce.
This and a lot more he said in the same way, which I'm too modest to share.
Now I am not without some knowledge of the world outside the close of Marchbury Cathedral, and I could not listen to such a "flattering tale" without having my suspicions aroused. Who and what is this man? thought I. I looked at him narrowly. At first the thought flashed across me that he might be a "swell mobsman." But no, his face was too good for that; besides, no man with that huge frame, that personality so marked and so easily recognizable, could be a swindler; he could not escape detection a single hour. I dismissed the ungenerous thought. Perhaps he is rich, as he says. We do hear of munificent donations by benevolent millionaires now and then. What if this Australian, attracted by the glories of the old cathedral, should now appear as a deus ex machina to reëndow the choir, or to found a musical professoriate in connection with the choir, appointing me the first occupant of the professorial chair?
Now, I’m not completely clueless about the world outside Marchbury Cathedral, and I couldn’t listen to such a “flattering tale” without raising some suspicions. Who is this guy? I thought. I examined him closely. At first, it crossed my mind that he might be a “flashy criminal.” But no, his face was too decent for that; plus, no one with such a massive build and such a distinct personality could be a con artist; he wouldn’t be able to avoid getting caught for even an hour. I dismissed that unkind thought. Maybe he is wealthy, as he claims. We do hear about generous donations from kind-hearted millionaires every now and then. What if this Australian, drawn in by the beauty of the old cathedral, turns out to be a deus ex machina to fund the choir again or to establish a music program in connection with the choir, naming me the first professor?
These thoughts flashed across my mind in the momentary pause of his fluent tongue.
These thoughts raced through my mind during the brief pause of his smooth speech.
"As for yourself, sir," he began again, "I have something to propose which I trust may not prove unwelcome. But the public street is hardly a suitable place to discuss my proposal. May I call upon you this evening at your house in the close? I know which it is, for I happened to see you go into it yesterday after the morning service."
"As for you, sir," he started again, "I have something to suggest that I hope you’ll find acceptable. But the public street isn't the best place to go over my suggestion. Can I come by your house in the close this evening? I know which one it is because I saw you go in there yesterday after the morning service."
"I shall be very pleased to see you," I replied. "We are going out to dinner this evening, but I shall be at home and disengaged till about seven."
"I'll be really happy to see you," I replied. "We're going out to dinner tonight, but I'll be home and free until around seven."
"Thank you very much. Then I shall do myself the pleasure of calling upon you about six o'clock. Till then, farewell!" A graceful wave of the hand, and my unknown friend had disappeared round the corner of the street.
"Thank you so much. I'll take the pleasure of stopping by around six o'clock. Until then, goodbye!" With a graceful wave of the hand, my unknown friend vanished around the corner of the street.
Now at last, I thought, something is going to happen in my uneventful life—something to break the monotony of existence. Of course, he must have inquired my name—he could get that from any of the cathedral vergers—and, as he said, he had observed whereabouts in the close I lived. What is he coming to see me for? I wondered. I spent the rest of the afternoon in making the wildest surmises. I was castle-building in Spain at a furious rate. At one time I imagined that this faithful son of the church—as he appeared to me—was going to build and endow a grand cathedral in Australia on condition that I should be appointed dean at a yearly stipend of, say, ten thousand pounds. Or perhaps, I said to myself, he will beg me to accept a sum of money—I never thought of it as less than a thousand pounds—as a slight recognition of and tribute to my remarkable vocal ability.
Now finally, I thought, something is going to happen in my boring life—something to break the routine of existence. Of course, he must have asked for my name—he could get that from any of the cathedral attendants—and, as he mentioned, he had noticed where I lived in the close. What does he want to see me about? I wondered. I spent the rest of the afternoon coming up with the wildest guesses. I was daydreaming at a rapid pace. At one point, I imagined that this devoted son of the church—as he seemed to me—was planning to build and fund a grand cathedral in Australia on the condition that I would be appointed dean with a yearly salary of, say, ten thousand pounds. Or maybe, I thought to myself, he will ask me to accept a sum of money—I never imagined it being less than a thousand pounds—as a small recognition of and tribute to my amazing singing talent.
I took a long, lonely walk into the country to correct these ridiculous fancies and to steady my mind, and when I reached home and had refreshed myself with a quiet cup of afternoon tea, I felt I was morally and physically prepared for my interview with the opulent stranger.
I took a long, solitary walk in the countryside to clear my head of these silly thoughts and to calm my mind. When I got home and enjoyed a peaceful cup of afternoon tea, I felt ready—both mentally and physically—for my meeting with the wealthy stranger.
Punctually as the cathedral clock struck six there was a ring at the visitor's bell. In a moment or two my unknown friend was shown into the drawing-room, which he entered with the easy air of a man of the world. I noticed he was carrying a small black bag.
Punctually as the cathedral clock struck six, the visitor's bell rang. In a moment or two, my unknown friend was brought into the drawing-room, which he entered with the confident demeanor of a worldly man. I noticed he was carrying a small black bag.
"How do you do again, Mr. Dale?" he said as though we were old acquaintances; "you see I have come sharp to my time."
"How's it going again, Mr. Dale?" he said as if we were old friends; "you see, I've arrived right on time."
"Yes," I answered, "and I am pleased to see you; do sit down." He sank into my best armchair, and placed his bag on the floor beside him.
"Yeah," I replied, "and it's great to see you; please take a seat." He settled into my best armchair and set his bag down on the floor next to him.
"Since we met in the afternoon," he said, "I have written a letter to your dean, expressing the great pleasure I felt in listening to your choir, and at the same time I inclosed a five-pound note, which I begged him to divide among the choir boys and men, from Alexander Poulter, Esq., of Poulter's Pills. You have of course heard of the world-renowned Poulter's Pills. I am Poulter!"
"Since we met this afternoon," he said, "I’ve written a letter to your dean to share how much I enjoyed listening to your choir. I also included a five-pound note and asked him to share it among the choir boys and men, from Alexander Poulter, Esq., of Poulter's Pills. You've heard of the famous Poulter's Pills, right? That’s me!"
Poulter of Poulter's Pills! My heart sank within me! A five-pound note! My airy castles were tottering!
Poulter of Poulter's Pills! My heart dropped! A five-pound note! My grand plans were falling apart!
"I also sent him a couple of hundred of my pamphlets, which I said I trusted he would be so kind as to distribute in the close."
"I also sent him a few hundred of my pamphlets, which I mentioned I hoped he would be kind enough to distribute in the area."
I was aghast!
I was shocked!
"And now, with regard to the special object of my call, Mr. Dale. If you will allow me to say so, you are not making the most of that grand voice of yours; you are hidden under an ecclesiastical bushel here—lost to the world. You are wasting your vocal strength and sweetness on the desert air, so to speak. Why, if I may hazard a guess, I don't suppose you make five hundred a year here, at the outside?"
"And now, about the main reason for my visit, Mr. Dale. If I may say so, you’re not fully utilizing that amazing voice of yours; you’re hidden away in this church environment—missing out on the world. You’re wasting your vocal power and charm in this empty space, so to speak. Honestly, if I may take a guess, I don’t think you’re making more than five hundred a year here, at most?"
I could say nothing.
I had no words.
"Well, now, I can put you into the way of making at least three or four times as much as that. Listen! I am Alexander Poulter, of Poulter's Pills. I have a proposal to make to you. The scheme is bound to succeed, but I want your help. Accept my proposal and your fortune's made. Did you ever hear Moody and Sankey?" he asked abruptly.
"Well, I can help you make at least three or four times that amount. Listen! I’m Alexander Poulter, from Poulter’s Pills. I have a proposal for you. This plan is sure to succeed, but I need your help. Accept my offer, and you'll make your fortune. Have you ever heard of Moody and Sankey?" he asked suddenly.
The man is an idiot, thought I; he is now fairly carried away with his particular mania. Will it last long? Shall I ring?
The guy is clueless, I thought; he’s really caught up in his own obsession. How long will this last? Should I call?
"Novelty, my dear sir," he went on, "is the rule of the day; and there must be novelty in advertising, as in everything else, to catch the public interest. So I intend to go on a tour, lecturing on the merits of Poulter's Pills in all the principal halls of all the principal towns all over the world. But I have been delayed in carrying out my idea till I could associate myself with a gentleman such as yourself. Will you join me? I should be the Moody of the tour; you would be its Sankey. I would speak my patter, and you would intersperse my orations with melodious ballads bearing upon the virtues of Poulter's Pills. The ballads are all ready!"
"Novelty, my dear sir," he continued, "is the name of the game these days; there has to be something new in advertising, just like in everything else, to grab the public's attention. So I plan to go on a tour, giving talks on the benefits of Poulter's Pills in all the major venues in all the major cities around the world. But I've been held up in getting this idea off the ground until I could partner with someone like you. Will you join me? I would be the Moody of the tour; you would be its Sankey. I would deliver my speech, and you would enrich my talks with lovely songs highlighting the benefits of Poulter's Pills. The songs are all set to go!"
So saying, he opened that bag and drew forth from its recesses nothing more alarming than a thick roll of manuscript music.
So saying, he opened that bag and pulled out nothing more surprising than a thick roll of sheet music.
"The verses are my own," he said, with a little touch of pride; "and as for the music, I thought it better to make use of popular melodies, so as to enable an audience to join in the chorus. See, here is one of the ballads: 'Darling, I am better now.' It describes the woes of a fond lover, or rather his physical ailments, until he went through a course of Poulter. Here's another: 'I'm ninety-five! I'm ninety-five!' You catch the drift of that, of course—a healthy old age, secured by taking Poulter's Pills. Ah! what's this? 'Little sister's last request.' I fancy the idea of that is to beg the family never to be without Poulter's Pills. Here again: 'Then you'll remember me!' I'm afraid that title is not original; never mind, the song is. And here is—but there are many more, and I won't detain you with them now." He saw, perhaps, I was getting impatient. Thank Heaven, however, he was no escaped lunatic. I was safe!
"The lyrics are my own," he said, with a hint of pride; "and for the music, I figured it was better to use popular tunes so the audience could sing along. Look, here’s one of the ballads: 'Darling, I’m feeling better now.' It talks about the troubles of a devoted lover, or more like his physical issues, until he went through a course of Poulter. Here’s another: 'I’m ninety-five! I’m ninety-five!' You get the idea, right—a healthy old age thanks to Poulter's Pills. Oh, what’s this? 'Little sister's last request.' I think the point of that one is to remind the family to always have Poulter's Pills on hand. And here’s: 'Then you’ll remember me!' I’m afraid that title isn’t original; but oh well, the song is. And here’s—but there are so many more, and I won’t keep you with them right now." He noticed I might be getting restless. Thank goodness, though, he wasn't a crazy person. I was safe!
"Mr. Poulter," said I, "I took you this afternoon for a disinterested and philanthropic millionaire; you take me for—for—something different from what I am. We have both made mistakes. In a word, it is impossible for me to accept your offer!"
"Mr. Poulter," I said, "I thought you were an unselfish and charitable millionaire this afternoon; you see me as—well, something other than what I am. We both misjudged each other. To put it simply, I can't accept your offer!"
"Is that final?" asked Poulter.
"Is that final?" Poulter asked.
"Certainly," said I.
"Of course," I said.
Poulter gathered his manuscripts together and replaced them in the bag, and got up to leave the room.
Poulter gathered his manuscripts, put them back in the bag, and got up to leave the room.
"Good evening, Mr. Dale," he said mournfully, as I opened the door of the room. "Good evening"—he kept on talking till he was fairly out of the house—"mark my words, you'll be sorry—very sorry—one day that you did not fall in with my scheme. Offers like mine don't come every day, and you will one day regret having refused it."
"Good evening, Mr. Dale," he said sadly as I opened the door to the room. "Good evening"—he continued speaking until he was almost out of the house—"mark my words, you’ll be sorry—very sorry—one day that you didn’t go along with my plan. Opportunities like mine don’t come around often, and you’ll regret turning it down one day."
With these words he left the house.
With those words, he left the house.
I had little appetite for my dinner that evening.
I wasn't very hungry for dinner that night.
The Pipe
"RANDOLPH CRESCENT, N.W.
RANDOLPH CRESCENT, NW
"MY DEAR PUGH—I hope you will like the pipe which I send with this. It is rather a curious example of a certain school of Indian carving. And is a present from
"MY DEAR PUGH—I hope you will like the pipe that I’m sending with this. It’s quite an interesting example of a specific style of Indian carving. And it is a gift from
"Yours truly, Joseph Tress."
"Sincerely, Joseph Tress."
It was really very handsome of Tress—very handsome! The more especially as I was aware that to give presents was not exactly in Tress's line. The truth is that when I saw what manner of pipe it was I was amazed. It was contained in a sandalwood box, which was itself illustrated with some remarkable specimens of carving. I use the word "remarkable" advisedly, because, although the workmanship was undoubtedly, in its way, artistic, the result could not be described as beautiful. The carver had thought proper to ornament the box with some of the ugliest figures I remember to have seen. They appeared to me to be devils. Or perhaps they were intended to represent deities appertaining to some mythological system with which, thank goodness, I am unacquainted. The pipe itself was worthy of the case in which it was contained. It was of meerschaum, with an amber mouthpiece. It was rather too large for ordinary smoking. But then, of course, one doesn't smoke a pipe like that. There are pipes in my collection which I should as soon think of smoking as I should of eating. Ask a china maniac to let you have afternoon tea out of his Old Chelsea, and you will learn some home truths as to the durability of human friendships. The glory of the pipe, as Tress had suggested, lay in its carving. Not that I claim that it was beautiful, any more than I make such a claim for the carving on the box, but, as Tress said in his note, it was curious.
It was really quite generous of Tress—very generous! Especially since I knew that giving gifts wasn't really his thing. The truth is, when I saw what kind of pipe it was, I was shocked. It came in a sandalwood box, which was itself decorated with some striking carvings. I use the word "striking" deliberately, because while the craftsmanship was certainly artistic, the result couldn’t be called beautiful. The carver had chosen to decorate the box with some of the ugliest figures I can remember. They looked like devils to me. Or maybe they were meant to represent deities from some mythological system that, thank goodness, I'm not familiar with. The pipe itself matched the case it was in. It was made of meerschaum, with an amber mouthpiece. It was a bit too large for regular smoking. But then again, you don't really smoke a pipe like that. I have pipes in my collection that I wouldn't even think of smoking, just like you wouldn't dream of having afternoon tea from a china collector's Old Chelsea, which would teach you some hard truths about the durability of friendship. The beauty of the pipe, as Tress had pointed out, lay in its carving. Not that I’d say it was beautiful, any more than I would for the carvings on the box, but as Tress mentioned in his note, it was definitely interesting.
The stem and the bowl were quite plain, but on the edge of the bowl was perched some kind of lizard. I told myself it was an octopus when I first saw it, but I have since had reason to believe that it was some almost unique member of the lizard tribe. The creature was represented as climbing over the edge of the bowl down toward the stem, and its legs, or feelers, or tentacula, or whatever the things are called, were, if I may use a vulgarism, sprawling about "all over the place." For instance, two or three of them were twined about the bowl, two or three of them were twisted round the stem, and one, a particularly horrible one, was uplifted in the air, so that if you put the pipe in your mouth the thing was pointing straight at your nose.
The stem and the bowl were pretty plain, but on the edge of the bowl was some kind of lizard. At first, I told myself it was an octopus, but I’ve since come to believe it was a nearly unique member of the lizard family. The creature was depicted as climbing over the edge of the bowl down toward the stem, and its legs, or feelers, or tentacles—whatever you want to call them—were, to put it bluntly, sprawling out "all over the place." For example, two or three of them were wrapped around the bowl, two or three were twisted around the stem, and one, a particularly disturbing one, was lifted in the air, so that when you put the pipe in your mouth, it was pointing straight at your nose.
Not the least agreeable feature about the creature was that it was hideously lifelike. It appeared to have been carved in amber, but some coloring matter must have been introduced, for inside the amber the creature was of a peculiarly ghastly green. The more I examined the pipe the more amazed I was at Tress's generosity. He and I are rival collectors. I am not going to say, in so many words, that his collection of pipes contains nothing but rubbish, because, as a matter of fact, he has two or three rather decent specimens. But to compare his collection to mine would be absurd. Tress is conscious of this, and he resents it. He resents it to such an extent that he has been known, at least on one occasion, to declare that one single pipe of his—I believe he alluded to the Brummagem relic preposterously attributed to Sir Walter Raleigh—was worth the whole of my collection put together. Although I have forgiven this, as I hope I always shall forgive remarks made when envious passions get the better of our nobler nature, even of a Joseph Tress, it is not to be supposed that I have forgotten it. He was, therefore, not at all the sort of person from whom I expected to receive a present. And such a present! I do not believe that he himself had a finer pipe in his collection. And to have given it to me! I had misjudged the man. I wondered where he had got it from. I had seen his pipes; I knew them off by heart—and some nice trumpery he has among them, too! but I had never seen that pipe before. The more I looked at it, the more my amazement grew. The beast perched upon the edge of the bowl was so lifelike. Its two bead-like eyes seemed to gleam at me with positively human intelligence. The pipe fascinated me to such an extent that I actually resolved to—smoke it!
Not the least enjoyable thing about the creature was how shockingly lifelike it was. It looked like it had been carved from amber, but some coloring must have been added because inside the amber, the creature was a strangely horrifying green. The more I examined the pipe, the more I was impressed by Tress's generosity. He and I are rival collectors. I won't say outright that his collection of pipes is all useless junk, because, to be fair, he has a few decent pieces. But comparing his collection to mine would be ridiculous. Tress knows this and feels irritated about it. He's been known, at least once, to claim that just one of his pipes—I think he was talking about the Brummagem piece absurdly linked to Sir Walter Raleigh—was worth my entire collection combined. While I've forgiven him for this, as I hope to always forgive comments made out of jealousy, even from someone like Joseph Tress, I can't pretend I've forgotten it. So, he was definitely not the kind of person I expected to receive a gift from. And what a gift it was! I doubt he even had a better pipe in his collection. And giving it to me! I had totally misjudged him. I wondered where he had found it. I knew his pipes well; I could name them all—and he has some nice trinkets, too!—but I had never seen that pipe before. The more I looked at it, the more amazed I became. The creature perched on the edge of the bowl was so lifelike. Its two bead-like eyes seemed to shine at me with real human intelligence. The pipe captivated me so much that I actually decided to—smoke it!
I filled it with Perique. Ordinarily I use Birdseye, but on those very rare occasions on which I use a specimen I smoke Perique. I lit up with quite a small sensation of excitement. As I did so I kept my eyes perforce fixed upon the beast. The beast pointed its upraised tentacle directly at me. As I inhaled the pungent tobacco that tentacle impressed me with a feeling of actual uncanniness. It was broad daylight, and I was smoking in front of the window, yet to such an extent was I affected that it seemed to me that the tentacle was not only vibrating, which, owing to the peculiarity of its position, was quite within the range of probability, but actually moving, elongating—stretching forward, that is, farther toward me, and toward the tip of my nose. So impressed was I by this idea that I took the pipe out of my mouth and minutely examined the beast. Really, the delusion was excusable. So cunningly had the artist wrought that he succeeded in producing a creature which, such was its uncanniness, I could only hope had no original in nature.
I filled it with Perique. Normally, I use Birdseye, but on those rare occasions when I choose a sample, I smoke Perique. I lit up with a small thrill of excitement. As I did, I couldn't help but keep my eyes fixed on the creature. The creature pointed its raised tentacle directly at me. As I inhaled the strong tobacco, that tentacle gave me an actual sense of unease. It was broad daylight, and I was smoking in front of the window, yet I was so affected that it seemed like the tentacle was not just vibrating, which was plausible given its position, but actually moving—stretching forward toward me and the tip of my nose. I was so struck by this idea that I took the pipe out of my mouth and took a close look at the creature. Honestly, the illusion was understandable. The artist had crafted it so expertly that he created a being that was so uncanny I could only hope it had no real counterpart in nature.
Replacing the pipe between my lips I took several whiffs. Never had smoking had such an effect on me before. Either the pipe, or the creature on it, exercised some singular fascination. I seemed, without an instant's warning, to be passing into some land of dreams. I saw the beast, which was perched upon the bowl, writhe and twist. I saw it lift itself bodily from the meerschaum.
Replacing the pipe between my lips, I took several puffs. I had never experienced smoking like this before. Either the pipe or the creature on it had a strange allure. It felt like, without any warning, I was slipping into a dream world. I watched the beast, sitting on the bowl, squirm and twist. I saw it lift itself completely off the meerschaum.
II
"Feeling better now?"
"Are you feeling better now?"
I looked up. Joseph Tress was speaking.
I looked up. Joseph Tress was talking.
"What's the matter? Have I been ill?"
"What's wrong? Have I been sick?"
"You appear to have been in some kind of swoon."
"You seem to have been in some sort of faint."
Tress's tone was peculiar, even a little dry.
Tress's tone was odd, even a bit dull.
"Swoon! I never was guilty of such a thing in my life."
"Swoon! I’ve never done anything like that in my life."
"Nor was I, until I smoked that pipe."
"Neither was I, until I smoked that pipe."
I sat up. The act of sitting up made me conscious of the fact that I had been lying down. Conscious, too, that I was feeling more than a little dazed. It seemed as though I was waking out of some strange, lethargic sleep—a kind of feeling which I have read of and heard about, but never before experienced.
I sat up. The act of sitting up made me aware that I had been lying down. I was also aware that I felt more than a little dazed. It felt like I was coming out of some weird, sluggish sleep—a feeling I've read about and heard of but never experienced before.
"Where am I?"
"Where am I now?"
"You're on the couch in your own room. You were on the floor; but I thought it would be better to pick you up and place you on the couch—though no one performed the same kind office to me when I was on the floor."
"You're on the couch in your own room. You were on the floor, but I thought it would be better to pick you up and put you on the couch—although no one did the same for me when I was on the floor."
Again Tress's tone was distinctly dry.
Again, Tress's tone was clearly dry.
"How came you here?"
"How did you get here?"
"Ah, that's the question." He rubbed his chin—a habit of his which has annoyed me more than once before. "Do you think you're sufficiently recovered to enable you to understand a little simple explanation?" I stared at him, amazed. He went on stroking his chin. "The truth is that when I sent you the pipe I made a slight omission."
"Ah, that's the question." He rubbed his chin—a habit of his that has annoyed me more than once before. "Do you think you're well enough to grasp a simple explanation?" I stared at him, shocked. He continued stroking his chin. "The truth is that when I sent you the pipe, I made a small mistake."
"An omission?"
"Missing something?"
"I omitted to advise you not to smoke it."
"I forgot to tell you not to smoke it."
"And why?"
"Why's that?"
"Because—well, I've reason to believe the thing is drugged."
"Because—well, I have a reason to think it’s been drugged."
"Drugged!"
"High!"
"Or poisoned."
"Or poisoned."
"Poisoned!" I was wide awake enough then. I jumped off the couch with a celerity which proved it.
"Poisoned!" I was fully awake then. I jumped off the couch with a speed that confirmed it.
"It is this way. I became its owner in rather a singular manner." He paused, as if for me to make a remark; but I was silent. "It is not often that I smoke a specimen, but, for some reason, I did smoke this. I commenced to smoke it, that is. How long I continued to smoke it is more than I can say. It had on me the same peculiar effect which it appears to have had on you. When I recovered consciousness I was lying on the floor."
"It happened like this. I became its owner in a rather unusual way." He paused, as if expecting me to say something; but I stayed quiet. "I don't usually smoke a sample, but for some reason, I did smoke this one. I started to smoke it, that is. How long I kept smoking it is hard to say. It had the same strange effect on me that it seems to have had on you. When I came to, I was lying on the floor."
"On the floor?"
"On the ground?"
"On the floor. In about as uncomfortable a position as you can easily conceive. I was lying face downward, with my legs bent under me. I was never so surprised in my life as I was when I found myself where I was. At first I supposed that I had had a stroke. But by degrees it dawned upon me that I didn't feel as though I had had a stroke." Tress, by the way, has been an army surgeon. "I was conscious of distinct nausea. Looking about, I saw the pipe. With me it had fallen on to the floor. I took it for granted, considering the delicacy of the carving, that the fall had broken it. But when I picked it up I found it quite uninjured. While I was examining it a thought flashed to my brain. Might it not be answerable for what had happened to me? Suppose, for instance, it was drugged? I had heard of such things. Besides, in my case were present all the symptoms of drug poisoning, though what drug had been used I couldn't in the least conceive. I resolved that I would give the pipe another trial."
"On the floor. In about the most uncomfortable position you can imagine. I was lying face down, with my legs bent underneath me. I had never been so surprised in my life as when I realized where I was. At first, I thought I might have had a stroke. But gradually, I started to understand that I didn't feel like I had a stroke." By the way, Tress has been an army surgeon. "I was aware of a strong feeling of nausea. Looking around, I saw the pipe. It had fallen on the floor with me. I assumed that, given the delicate carvings, it must have broken when it fell. But when I picked it up, I found it completely undamaged. While I was examining it, a thought flashed in my mind. Could it be responsible for what had happened to me? What if, for example, it was drugged? I had heard of things like that. Besides, I was experiencing all the symptoms of drug poisoning, although I couldn’t figure out what drug had been used. I decided that I would give the pipe another try."
"On yourself? or on another party, meaning me?"
"On yourself? Or on someone else, like me?"
"On myself, my dear Pugh—on myself! At that point of my investigations I had not begun to think of you. I lit up and had another smoke."
"About myself, my dear Pugh—about myself! At that moment in my investigations, I hadn't started to think about you. I lit up and had another smoke."
"With what result?"
"What was the result?"
"Well, that depends on the standpoint from which you regard the thing. From one point of view the result was wholly satisfactory—I proved that the thing was drugged, and more."
"Well, that depends on your perspective on the matter. From one point of view, the outcome was completely satisfactory—I demonstrated that the thing was drugged, and more."
"Did you have another fall?"
"Did you have another fall?"
"I did. And something else besides."
"I did. And there was something else too."
"On that account, I presume, you resolved to pass the treasure on to me?"
"Because of that, I guess you decided to hand the treasure over to me?"
"Partly on that account, and partly on another."
"Partly for that reason, and partly for another."
"On my word, I appreciate your generosity. You might have labeled the thing as poison."
"Honestly, I appreciate your kindness. You could have called it poison."
"Exactly. But then you must remember how often you have told me that you never smoke your specimens."
"Exactly. But you have to remember how many times you've told me that you never smoke your specimens."
"That was no reason why you shouldn't have given me a hint that the thing was more dangerous than dynamite."
"That didn't mean you shouldn't have given me a heads-up that it was more dangerous than dynamite."
"That did occur to me afterwards. Therefore I called to supply the slight omission."
"That crossed my mind later. So, I called to fill in the small gap."
"Slight omission, you call it! I wonder what you would have called it if you had found me dead."
"Slight omission, you say! I wonder what you would have called it if you had found me dead."
"If I had known that you intended smoking it I should not have been at all surprised if I had."
"If I had known that you planned to smoke it, I wouldn't have been surprised at all if I did."
"Really, Tress, I appreciate your kindness more and more! And where is this example of your splendid benevolence? Have you pocketed it, regretting your lapse into the unaccustomed paths of generosity? Or is it smashed to atoms?"
"Honestly, Tress, I appreciate your kindness more and more! So where is this amazing example of your generosity? Have you kept it to yourself, regretting your unusual act of kindness? Or is it completely destroyed?"
"Neither the one nor the other. You will find the pipe upon the table. I neither desire its restoration nor is it in any way injured. It is merely an expression of personal opinion when I say that I don't believe that it could be injured. Of course, having discovered its deleterious properties, you will not want to smoke it again. You will therefore be able to enjoy the consciousness of being the possessor of what I honestly believe to be the most remarkable pipe in existence. Good day, Pugh."
"Neither one nor the other. You’ll find the pipe on the table. I don’t want it returned, and it’s not damaged in any way. When I say that I don’t believe it could be damaged, that’s just my personal opinion. Of course, now that you know its harmful effects, you won’t want to smoke it again. So, you can take pride in owning what I truly believe is the most extraordinary pipe in existence. Have a good day, Pugh."
He was gone before I could say a word. I immediately concluded, from the precipitancy of his flight, that the pipe was injured. But when I subjected it to close examination I could discover no signs of damage. While I was still eying it with jealous scrutiny the door reopened, and Tress came in again.
He was gone before I could say anything. I quickly assumed, based on how fast he left, that the pipe was damaged. But when I looked at it closely, I couldn’t find any signs of harm. While I was still examining it carefully, the door opened again, and Tress walked back in.
"By the way, Pugh, there is one thing I might mention, especially as I know it won't make any difference to you."
"By the way, Pugh, there's something I should mention, especially since I know it won't matter to you."
"That depends on what it is. If you have changed your mind, and want the pipe back again, I tell you frankly that it won't. In my opinion, a thing once given is given for good."
"That depends on what it is. If you've changed your mind and want the pipe back, I’ll be honest—it won’t happen. In my view, once something is given, it's given for good."
"Quite so; I don't want it back again. You may make your mind easy on that point. I merely wanted to tell you why I gave it you."
"Exactly; I don’t want it back. You can relax about that. I just wanted to explain to you why I gave it to you."
"You have told me that already."
"You already told me that."
"Only partly, my dear Pugh—only partly. You don't suppose I should have given you such a pipe as that merely because it happened to be drugged? Scarcely! I gave it you because I discovered from indisputable evidence, and to my cost, that it was haunted."
"Only partly, my dear Pugh—only partly. You don’t really think I would have offered you a pipe like that just because it was drugged, do you? Hardly! I gave it to you because I found out, from undeniable proof and at my own expense, that it was haunted."
"Haunted?"
"Is it haunted?"
"Yes, haunted. Good day."
"Yes, haunted. Have a good day."
He was gone again. I ran out of the room, and shouted after him down the stairs. He was already at the bottom of the flight.
He was gone again. I rushed out of the room and shouted after him down the stairs. He was already at the bottom of the stairs.
"Tress! Come back! What do you mean by talking such nonsense?"
"Tress! Come back! What are you talking about?"
"Of course it's only nonsense. We know that that sort of thing always is nonsense. But if you should have reason to suppose that there is something in it besides nonsense, you may think it worth your while to make inquiries of me. But I won't have that pipe back again in my possession on any terms—mind that!"
"Of course, it's just nonsense. We know that kind of thing always is nonsense. But if you have any reason to believe there’s more to it than just nonsense, you might find it worthwhile to ask me about it. But I won’t take that pipe back into my possession under any circumstances—remember that!"
The bang of the front door told me that he had gone out into the street. I let him go. I laughed to myself as I reëntered the room. Haunted! That was not a bad idea of his. I saw the whole position at a glance. The truth of the matter was that he did regret his generosity, and he was ready to go any lengths if he could only succeed in cajoling me into restoring his gift. He was aware that I have views upon certain matters which are not wholly in accordance with those which are popularly supposed to be the views of the day, and particularly that on the question of what are commonly called supernatural visitations I have a standpoint of my own. Therefore, it was not a bad move on his part to try to make me believe that about the pipe on which he knew I had set my heart there was something which could not be accounted for by ordinary laws. Yet, as his own sense would have told him it would do, if he had only allowed himself to reflect for a moment, the move failed. Because I am not yet so far gone as to suppose that a pipe, a thing of meerschaum and of amber, in the sense in which I understand the word, could be haunted—a pipe, a mere pipe.
The bang of the front door told me he had stepped out onto the street. I let him go. I chuckled to myself as I walked back into the room. Haunted! That wasn’t a bad idea of his. I understood the whole situation immediately. The truth is, he did regret his generosity, and he was willing to go to great lengths if he could just convince me to give back his gift. He knew I have opinions on certain topics that don’t fully align with what’s commonly accepted these days, especially regarding what are often called supernatural occurrences; I have my own perspective on that. So, it wasn’t a bad strategy for him to try to make me believe that the pipe, which I was so fond of, had something about it that couldn’t be explained by normal rules. Yet, as his own logic would have suggested if he’d taken a moment to think, that strategy failed. Because I’m not so far gone as to believe that a pipe, made of meerschaum and amber, could actually be haunted—a pipe, just a pipe.
"Hollo! I thought the creature's legs were twined right round the bowl!"
"Hollo! I thought the creature's legs were wrapped all around the bowl!"
I was holding the pipe in my hand, regarding it with the affectionate eyes with which a connoisseur does regard a curio, when I was induced to make this exclamation. I was certainly under the impression that, when I first took the pipe out of the box, two, if not three of the feelers had been twined about the bowl—twined tightly, so that you could not see daylight between them and it. Now they were almost entirely detached, only the tips touching the meerschaum, and those particular feelers were gathered up as though the creature were in the act of taking a spring. Of course I was under a misapprehension: the feelers couldn't have been twined; a moment before I should have been ready to bet a thousand to one that they were. Still, one does make mistakes, and very egregious mistakes, at times. At the same time, I confess that when I saw that dreadful-looking animal poised on the extreme edge of the bowl, for all the world as though it were just going to spring at me, I was a little startled. I remembered that when I was smoking the pipe I did think I saw the uplifted tentacle moving, as though it were reaching out to me. And I had a clear recollection that just as I had been sinking into that strange state of unconsciousness, I had been under the impression that the creature was writhing and twisting, as though it had suddenly become instinct with life. Under the circumstances, these reflections were not pleasant. I wished Tress had not talked that nonsense about the thing being haunted. It was surely sufficient to know that it was drugged and poisonous, without anything else.
I was holding the pipe in my hand, looking at it with the affectionate gaze of a collector admiring a rare find, when I was prompted to exclaim. I was definitely under the impression that when I first took the pipe out of the box, two, if not three, of the feelers had been wrapped around the bowl—wrapped tightly, so that not a single ray of light could pass between them and it. Now, they were almost completely detached, with only the tips touching the meerschaum, and those particular feelers were gathered up as if the creature were about to jump. Of course, I was mistaken: the feelers couldn't have been wrapped; just a moment before, I would have bet a thousand to one that they were. Still, people make mistakes, and sometimes very serious ones. At the same time, I admit that when I saw that terrifying-looking creature poised on the very edge of the bowl, as if it were about to spring at me, I was a bit startled. I remembered that when I was smoking the pipe, I thought I saw the lifted tentacle moving, as if it were reaching out to me. And I clearly recalled that just as I was slipping into that strange state of unconsciousness, I felt certain that the creature was writhing and twisting, as though it suddenly had come to life. Given the situation, these thoughts weren't comforting. I wished Tress hadn’t said that nonsense about the thing being haunted. It was definitely enough to know that it was drugged and poisonous, without anything else.
I replaced it in the sandalwood box. I locked the box in a cabinet. Quite apart from the question as to whether that pipe was or was not haunted, I know it haunted me. It was with me in a figurative—which was worse than actual—sense all the day. Still worse, it was with me all the night. It was with me in my dreams. Such dreams! Possibly I had not yet wholly recovered from the effects of that insidious drug, but, whether or no, it was very wrong of Tress to set my thoughts into such a channel. He knows that I am of a highly imaginative temperament, and that it is easier to get morbid thoughts into my mind than to get them out again. Before that night was through I wished very heartily that I had never seen the pipe! I woke from one nightmare to fall into another. One dreadful dream was with me all the time—of a hideous, green reptile which advanced toward me out of some awful darkness, slowly, inch by inch, until it clutched me round the neck, and, gluing its lips to mine, sucked the life's blood out of my veins as it embraced me with a slimy kiss. Such dreams are not restful. I woke anything but refreshed when the morning came. And when I got up and dressed I felt that, on the whole, it would perhaps have been better if I never had gone to bed. My nerves were unstrung, and I had that generally tremulous feeling which is, I believe, an inseparable companion of the more advanced stages of dipsomania. I ate no breakfast. I am no breakfast eater as a rule, but that morning I ate absolutely nothing.
I put it back in the sandalwood box and locked it in a cabinet. Regardless of whether that pipe was haunted or not, I know it haunted me. It was figuratively with me all day—which was worse than being actually haunted. Even worse, it stayed with me all night, invading my dreams. Such dreams! Maybe I hadn’t fully recovered from that sneaky drug, but either way, it was really wrong of Tress to put my thoughts in such a dark place. He knows I have a wild imagination, and it's easier to get dark thoughts in my head than to get them out. By the end of that night, I really wished I had never seen the pipe! I woke from one nightmare only to fall into another. One terrifying dream followed me the whole time—of a disgusting green reptile slowly crawling out of some terrifying darkness, inch by inch, until it wrapped around my neck and, pressing its lips against mine, drained the life from my veins with a slimy kiss. Those dreams are anything but restful. I woke up feeling anything but refreshed in the morning. And when I got up and got dressed, I felt like it might have been better if I had never gone to bed at all. My nerves were shot, and I had that shaky feeling that I think goes hand in hand with the more serious stages of dipsomania. I didn't eat breakfast. Usually, I skip breakfast, but that morning I ate absolutely nothing.
"If this sort of thing is to continue, I will let Tress have his pipe again. He may have the laugh of me, but anything is better than this."
"If this kind of thing keeps happening, I’ll let Tress have his pipe back. He might end up laughing at me, but anything is better than this."
It was with almost funereal forebodings that I went to the cabinet in which I had placed the sandalwood box. But when I opened it my feelings of gloom partially vanished. Of what phantasies had I been guilty! It must have been an entire delusion on my part to have supposed that those tentacula had ever been twined about the bowl. The creature was in exactly the same position in which I had left it the day before—as, of course, I knew it would be—poised, as if about to spring. I was telling myself how foolish I had been to allow myself to dwell for a moment on Tress's words, when Martin Brasher was shown in.
I approached the cabinet where I had stored the sandalwood box with a sense of impending doom. But when I opened it, my feelings of dread lessened a bit. What fantasies had I entertained! It must have been a complete illusion on my part to think those tentacles had ever wrapped around the bowl. The creature was in exactly the same position I had left it the day before—as I knew it would be—poised as if ready to leap. I was telling myself how silly I had been to let Tress's words occupy my mind when Martin Brasher walked in.
Brasher is an old friend of mine. We have a common ground—ghosts. Only we approach them from different points of view. He takes the scientific—psychological—inquiry side. He is always anxious to hear of a ghost, so that he may have an opportunity of "showing it up."
Brasher is an old friend of mine. We share a common interest—ghosts. But we look at them from different perspectives. He takes the scientific and psychological approach. He’s always eager to hear about a ghost so he can have the chance to "debunk" it.
"I've something in your line here," I observed, as he came in.
"I've got something related to your work here," I mentioned as he walked in.
"In my line? How so? I'm not pipe mad."
"In my profession? How come? I'm not crazy."
"No; but you're ghost mad. And this is a haunted pipe."
"No, but you're obsessed with ghosts. And this is a haunted pipe."
"A haunted pipe! I think you're rather more mad about ghosts, my dear Pugh, than I am."
"A haunted pipe! I think you're a little more obsessed with ghosts, my dear Pugh, than I am."
Then I told him all about it. He was deeply interested, especially when I told him that the pipe was drugged. But when I repeated Tress's words about its being haunted, and mentioned my own delusion about the creature moving, he took a more serious view of the case than I had expected he would do.
Then I told him everything. He was really interested, especially when I said the pipe was drugged. But when I repeated Tress's words about it being haunted and mentioned my own vision of the creature moving, he took a more serious approach to the situation than I had expected.
"I propose that we act on Tress's suggestion, and go and make inquiries of him."
"I suggest we follow Tress's idea and ask him about it."
"But you don't really think that there is anything in it?"
"But you don't actually believe there's anything to it?"
"On these subjects I never allow myself to think at all. There are Tress's words, and there is your story. It is agreed on all hands that the pipe has peculiar properties. It seems to me that there is a sufficient case here to merit inquiry."
"On these topics, I don’t let myself think at all. There are Tress's words, and there’s your story. Everyone agrees that the pipe has unusual properties. It seems to me that there's enough here to warrant an investigation."
He persuaded me. I went with him. The pipe, in the sandalwood box, went too. Tress received us with a grin—a grin which was accentuated when I placed the sandalwood box on the table.
He convinced me. I went with him. The pipe, in the sandalwood box, came along too. Tress welcomed us with a smile—a smile that grew wider when I set the sandalwood box on the table.
"You understand," he said, "that a gift is a gift. On no terms will I consent to receive that pipe back in my possession."
"You get it," he said, "a gift is a gift. Under no circumstances will I agree to take that pipe back."
I was rather nettled by his tone.
I was pretty annoyed by his tone.
"You need be under no alarm. I have no intention of suggesting anything of the kind."
"You don’t need to worry. I have no plans of implying anything like that."
"Our business here," began Brasher—I must own that his manner is a little ponderous—"is of a scientific, I may say also, and at the same time, of a judicial nature. Our object is the Pursuit of Truth and the Advancement of Inquiry."
"Our business here," started Brasher—I have to admit that he comes across as a bit heavy-handed—"is of a scientific nature, and I might also add, at the same time, of a judicial nature. Our goal is to Pursue Truth and Advance Inquiry."
"Have you been trying another smoke?" inquired Tress, nodding his head toward me.
"Have you been trying another cigarette?" Tress asked, nodding his head toward me.
Before I had time to answer, Brasher went droning on:
Before I could respond, Brasher just kept talking on and on:
"Our friend here tells me that you say this pipe is haunted."
"Our friend here says you think this pipe is haunted."
"I say it is haunted because it is haunted."
"I say it’s haunted because it is haunted."
I looked at Tress. I half suspected that he was poking fun at us. But he appeared to be serious enough.
I looked at Tress. I kind of suspected that he was making fun of us. But he seemed serious enough.
"In these matters," remarked Brasher, as though he were giving utterance to a new and important truth, "there is a scientific and nonscientific method of inquiry. The scientific method is to begin at the beginning. May I ask how this pipe came into your possession?"
"In these matters," Brasher said, as if he were revealing a new and important truth, "there are scientific and nonscientific ways to investigate. The scientific approach starts from the beginning. Can I ask how you got this pipe?"
Tress paused before he answered.
Tress hesitated before answering.
"You may ask." He paused again. "Oh, you certainly may ask. But it doesn't follow that I shall tell you."
"You can ask." He paused again. "Oh, you can definitely ask. But that doesn't mean I will tell you."
"Surely your object, like ours, can be but the Spreading About of the Truth?"
"Surely your goal, like ours, must just be to share the Truth?"
"I don't see it at all. It is possible to imagine a case in which the spreading about of the truth might make me look a little awkward."
"I don't see it at all. It's possible to picture a scenario where sharing the truth might make me seem a bit uncomfortable."
"Indeed!" Brasher pursed up his lips. "Your words would almost lead one to suppose that there was something about your method of acquiring the pipe which you have good and weighty reasons for concealing."
"Absolutely!" Brasher puckered his lips. "Your words could almost make someone think that there's something about how you got the pipe that you're trying hard to hide."
"I don't know why I should conceal the thing from you. I don't suppose either of you is any better than I am. I don't mind telling you how I got the pipe. I stole it."
"I don't know why I should hide this from you. I don't think either of you is any better than I am. I don't mind telling you how I got the pipe. I stole it."
"Stole it!"
"Snatched it!"
Brasher seemed both amazed and shocked. But I, who had previous experience of Tress's methods of adding to his collection, was not at all surprised. Some of the pipes which he calls his, if only the whole truth about them were publicly known, would send him to jail.
Brasher looked both amazed and shocked. But I, having experience with Tress's ways of expanding his collection, wasn’t surprised at all. Some of the pipes he claims as his, if the whole truth were publicly known, would land him in jail.
"That's nothing!" he continued. "All collectors steal! The eighth commandment was not intended to apply to them. Why, Pugh there has 'conveyed' three fourths of the pipes which he flatters himself are his."
"That's nothing!" he went on. "All collectors steal! The eighth commandment wasn’t meant for them. Seriously, Pugh has 'taken' three-quarters of the pipes he likes to think are his."
I was so dumfoundered by the charge that it took my breath away. I sat in astounded silence. Tress went raving on:
I was so stunned by the accusation that it took my breath away. I sat in shocked silence. Tress kept going on and on:
"I was so shy of this particular pipe when I had obtained it, that I put it away for quite three months. When I took it out to have a look at it something about the thing so tickled me that I resolved to smoke it. Owing to peculiar circumstances attending the manner in which the thing came into my possession, and on which I need not dwell—you don't like to dwell on those sort of things, do you, Pugh?—I knew really nothing about the pipe. As was the case with Pugh, one peculiarity I learned from actual experience. It was also from actual experience that I learned that the thing was—well, I said haunted, but you may use any other word you like."
"I was so shy about this particular pipe when I got it that I put it away for almost three months. When I finally took it out to look at it, something about it made me laugh, so I decided to smoke it. Because of the strange circumstances surrounding how I came to have it, which I won’t get into—you wouldn’t want to dwell on that sort of thing, would you, Pugh?—I really didn’t know anything about the pipe. Like Pugh, I learned one unusual thing from actual experience. It was also from experience that I realized the thing was—well, I said haunted, but you can use any other word you want."
"Tell us, as briefly as possible, what it was you really did discover."
"Tell us, in as few words as possible, what you actually discovered."
"Take the pipe out of the box!" Brasher took the pipe out of the box and held it in his hand. "You see that creature on it. Well, when I first had it it was underneath the pipe."
"Take the pipe out of the box!" Brasher took the pipe out of the box and held it in his hand. "You see that creature on it? Well, when I first got it, it was underneath the pipe."
"How do you mean that it was underneath the pipe?"
"How do you mean it was under the pipe?"
"It was bunched together underneath the stem, just at the end of the mouthpiece, in the same way in which a fly might be suspended from the ceiling. When I began to smoke the pipe I saw the creature move."
"It was clustered together beneath the stem, right at the end of the mouthpiece, like a fly hanging from the ceiling. When I started to smoke the pipe, I noticed the creature move."
"But I thought that unconsciousness immediately followed."
"But I thought that passing out happened right after."
"It did follow, but not before I saw that the thing was moving. It was because I thought that I had been, in a way, a victim of delirium that I tried the second smoke. Suspecting that the thing was drugged I swallowed what I believed would prove a powerful antidote. It enabled me to resist the influence of the narcotic much longer than before, and while I still retained my senses I saw the creature crawl along under the stem and over the bowl. It was that sight, I believe, as much as anything else, which sent me silly. When I came to I then and there decided to present the pipe to Pugh. There is one more thing I would remark. When the pipe left me the creature's legs were twined about the bowl. Now they are withdrawn. Possibly you, Pugh, are able to cap my story with a little one which is all your own."
"It did follow, but not before I noticed that the thing was moving. I thought I was sort of losing my mind, which is why I tried the second smoke. Suspecting that the thing was laced, I swallowed what I thought would be a strong antidote. It helped me resist the effects of the drug much longer than before, and while I still had my wits about me, I saw the creature crawl along under the stem and over the bowl. That sight, I think, more than anything else, drove me crazy. When I came to, I decided right then to give the pipe to Pugh. One more thing I'd like to mention: when the pipe left me, the creature's legs were wrapped around the bowl. Now they are gone. Maybe you, Pugh, can end my story with a little tale of your own."
"I certainly did imagine that I saw the creature move. But I supposed that while I was under the influence of the drug imagination had played me a trick."
"I really thought I saw the creature move. But I figured that while I was under the influence of the drug, my imagination had deceived me."
"Not a bit of it! Depend upon it, the beast is bewitched. Even to my eye it looks as though it were, and to a trained eye like yours, Pugh! You've been looking for the devil a long time, and you've got him at last."
"Not at all! You can bet the creature is under a spell. Even I can see it, and with your trained eye, Pugh! You’ve been searching for the devil for a long time, and you’ve finally found him."
"I—I wish you wouldn't make those remarks, Tress. They jar on me."
"I—I really wish you wouldn't say those things, Tress. They bother me."
"I confess," interpolated Brasher—I noticed that he had put the pipe down on the table as though he were tired of holding it—"that, to my thinking, such remarks are not appropriate. At the same time what you have told us is, I am bound to allow, a little curious. But of course what I require is ocular demonstration. I haven't seen the movement myself."
"I admit," Brasher interrupted—I noticed he had set the pipe down on the table like he was tired of holding it—"that, in my opinion, comments like that aren't really appropriate. At the same time, what you've told us is, I have to admit, a bit intriguing. But what I really need is to see it for myself. I haven't witnessed the movement firsthand."
"No, but you very soon will do if you care to have a pull at the pipe on your own account. Do, Brasher, to oblige me! There's a dear!"
"No, but you will very soon if you want to have a hit from the pipe for yourself. Please, Brasher, do it for me! You're the best!"
"It appears, then, that the movement is only observable when the pipe is smoked. We have at least arrived at step No. 1."
"It seems that the movement is only noticeable when the pipe is smoked. We've at least reached step No. 1."
"Here's a match, Brasher! Light up, and we shall have arrived at step No. 2."
"Here's a match, Brasher! Light it up, and we'll be at step No. 2."
Tress lit a match and held it out to Brasher. Brasher retreated from its neighborhood.
Tress struck a match and held it out to Brasher. Brasher stepped back from it.
"Thank you, Mr. Tress, I am no smoker, as you are aware. And I have no desire to acquire the art of smoking by means of a poisoned pipe."
"Thank you, Mr. Tress. As you know, I'm not a smoker, and I have no interest in learning to smoke from a poisoned pipe."
Tress laughed. He blew out the match and threw it into the grate.
Tress laughed. He blew out the match and tossed it into the fireplace.
"Then I tell you what I'll do—I'll have up Bob."
"Then I'll tell you what I'm going to do—I’ll call Bob up."
"Bob—why Bob?"
"Bob—what's with Bob?"
"Bob"—whose real name was Robert Haines, though I should think he must have forgotten the fact, so seldom was he addressed by it—was Tress's servant. He had been an old soldier, and had accompanied his master when he left the service. He was as depraved a character as Tress himself. I am not sure even that he was not worse than his master. I shall never forget how he once behaved toward myself. He actually had the assurance to accuse me of attempting to steal the Wardour Street relic which Tress fondly deludes himself was once the property of Sir Walter Raleigh. The truth is that I had slipped it with my handkerchief into my pocket in a fit of absence of mind. A man who could accuse me of such a thing would be guilty of anything. I was therefore quite at one with Brasher when he asked what Bob could possibly be wanted for. Tress explained.
"Bob"—his real name was Robert Haines, though he must have forgotten it since he was rarely called that—was Tress's servant. He had been a soldier and followed his master when he left the army. He was as corrupt as Tress himself. I even wonder if he was worse than his master. I'll never forget how he once treated me. He had the nerve to accuse me of trying to steal the Wardour Street artifact that Tress mistakenly believes was once owned by Sir Walter Raleigh. The truth is I had absentmindedly slipped it into my pocket with my handkerchief. A man who could accuse me of such a thing would be capable of anything. So, I wholeheartedly agreed with Brasher when he asked what Bob could possibly be needed for. Tress explained.
"I'll get him to smoke the pipe," he said.
"I'll get him to smoke the pipe," he said.
Brasher and I exchanged glances, but we refrained from speech.
Brasher and I looked at each other, but we didn’t say anything.
"It won't do him any harm," said Tress.
"It won't hurt him," said Tress.
"What—not a poisoned pipe?" asked Brasher.
"What—not a poisoned pipe?" asked Brasher.
"It's not poisoned—it's only drugged."
"It's not poisoned—it's just drugged."
"Only drugged!"
“Only high!”
"Nothing hurts Bob. He is like an ostrich. He has digestive organs which are peculiarly his own. It will only serve him as it served me—and Pugh—it will knock him over. It is all done in the Pursuit of Truth and for the Advancement of Inquiry."
"Nothing bothers Bob. He's like an ostrich. He has unique digestive organs. They’ll only do for him what they did for me—and Pugh—it’ll take him down. It’s all done in the pursuit of truth and for the advancement of inquiry."
I could see that Brasher did not altogether like the tone in which Tress repeated his words. As for me, it was not to be supposed that I should put myself out in a matter which in no way concerned me. If Tress chose to poison the man, it was his affair, not mine. He went to the door and shouted:
I could tell that Brasher didn't really appreciate the way Tress echoed his words. As for me, there was no reason for me to get involved in something that didn’t affect me at all. If Tress decided to poison the guy, that was his problem, not mine. He walked to the door and yelled:
"Bob! Come here, you scoundrel!"
"Bob! Come here, you rascal!"
That is the way in which he speaks to him. No really decent servant would stand it. I shouldn't care to address Nalder, my servant, in such a way. He would give me notice on the spot. Bob came in. He is a great hulking fellow who is always on the grin. Tress had a decanter of brandy in his hand. He filled a tumbler with the neat spirit.
That’s how he talks to him. No decent servant would put up with that. I wouldn't want to speak to Nalder, my servant, like that. He would quit immediately. Bob walked in. He’s a big guy who’s always smiling. Tress was holding a decanter of brandy. He poured a glass with straight spirit.
"Bob, what would you say to a glassful of brandy—the real thing—my boy?"
"Bob, how about a glass of good brandy, the real deal, my boy?"
"Thank you, sir."
"Thanks, sir."
"And what would you say to a pull at a pipe when the brandy is drunk!"
"And what would you say to a puff on a pipe after the brandy is gone!"
"A pipe?" The fellow is sharp enough when he likes. I saw him look at the pipe upon the table, and then at us, and then a gleam of intelligence came into his eyes. "I'd do it for a dollar, sir."
"A pipe?" The guy can be perceptive when he wants to be. I noticed him glance at the pipe on the table, then at us, and then a spark of understanding lit up his eyes. "I'd do it for a dollar, sir."
"A dollar, you thief?"
"One dollar, you thief?"
"I meant ten shillings, sir."
"I meant ten bucks, sir."
"Ten shillings, you brazen vagabond?"
"Ten shillings, you shameless wanderer?"
"I should have said a pound."
"I should have said a dollar."
"A pound! Was ever the like of that! Do I understand you to ask a pound for taking a pull at your master's pipe?"
"A pound! Really? Are you asking a pound just to take a puff on your master's pipe?"
"I'm thinking that I'll have to make it two."
"I'm thinking I'll need to make it two."
"The deuce you are! Here, Pugh, lend me a pound."
"The hell you are! Here, Pugh, give me a dollar."
"I'm afraid I've left my purse behind."
"I'm afraid I forgot my purse."
"Then lend me ten shillings—Ananias!"
"Then lend me ten bucks—Ananias!"
"I doubt if I have more than five."
"I doubt I have more than five."
"Then give me the five. And, Brasher, lend me the other fifteen."
"Then give me the five. And, Brasher, can you lend me the other fifteen?"
Brasher lent him the fifteen. I doubt if we shall either of us ever see our money again. He handed the pound to Bob.
Brasher lent him the fifteen. I doubt we'll ever see our money again. He gave the pound to Bob.
"Here's the brandy—drink it up!" Bob drank it without a word, draining the glass of every drop. "And here's the pipe."
"Here's the brandy—down it!" Bob drank it silently, finishing the glass completely. "And here's the pipe."
"Is it poisoned, sir?"
"Is it poisoned, sir?"
"Poisoned, you villain! What do you mean?"
"Poisoned, you jerk! What do you mean?"
"It isn't the first time I've seen your tricks, sir—is it now? And you're not the one to give a pound for nothing at all. If it kills me you'll send my body to my mother—she'd like to know that I was dead."
"It’s not the first time I’ve seen your tricks, sir—is it? And you’re not the type to give a pound without expecting something in return. If it kills me, you’ll send my body to my mother—she’d want to know I’m dead."
"Send your body to your grandmother! You idiot, sit down and smoke!"
"Send your body to your grandma! You idiot, sit down and smoke!"
Bob sat down. Tress had filled the pipe, and handed it, with a lighted match, to Bob. The fellow declined the match. He handled the pipe very gingerly, turning it over and over, eying it with all his eyes.
Bob sat down. Tress had filled the pipe and handed it, along with a lit match, to Bob. He refused the match. He handled the pipe very carefully, turning it over and over, studying it closely.
"Thank you, sir—I'll light up myself if it's the same to you. I carry matches of my own. It's a beautiful pipe, entirely. I never see the like of it for ugliness. And what's the slimy-looking varmint that looks as though it would like to have my life? Is it living, or is it dead?"
"Thanks, sir—I’ll light it myself if that’s alright with you. I’ve got my own matches. That pipe is really something. I’ve never seen anything quite this ugly. And what’s that slimy creature that looks like it would love to take my life? Is it alive or dead?"
"Come, we don't want to sit here all day, my man!"
"Come on, we don’t want to sit here all day, buddy!"
"Well, sir, the look of this here pipe has quite upset my stomach. I'd like another drop of liquor, if it's the same to you."
"Well, sir, the sight of this pipe has really turned my stomach. I'd like another drink, if that’s okay with you."
"Another drop! Why, you've had a tumblerful already! Here's another tumblerful to put on top of that. You won't want the pipe to kill you—you'll be killed before you get to it."
"Another drink! Come on, you've already had a glass! Here’s another glass to go with that one. You don’t want the pipe to take you out—you'll be gone before you even get to it."
"And isn't it better to die a natural death?"
"And isn't it better to die of natural causes?"
Bob emptied the second tumbler of brandy as though it were water. I believe he would empty a hogshead without turning a hair! Then he gave another look at the pipe. Then, taking a match from his waistcoat pocket, he drew a long breath, as though he were resigning himself to fate. Striking the match on the seat of his trousers, while, shaded by his hand, the flame was gathering strength, he looked at each of us in turn. When he looked at Tress I distinctly saw him wink his eye. What my feelings would have been if a servant of mine had winked his eye at me I am unable to imagine! The match was applied to the tobacco, a puff of smoke came through his lips—the pipe was alight!
Bob downed the second glass of brandy like it was water. I swear he could finish off a barrel without batting an eye! Then he took another look at the pipe. After that, he reached into his waistcoat pocket for a match and took a deep breath, almost like he was surrendering to fate. Striking the match against the fabric of his pants, he shielded the growing flame with his hand and looked at each of us in turn. When he glanced at Tress, I definitely saw him wink. I can't even imagine how I would feel if one of my servants winked at me! He lit the tobacco and let out a puff of smoke—the pipe was ready!
During this process of lighting the pipe we had sat—I do not wish to use exaggerated language, but we had sat and watched that alcoholic scamp's proceedings as though we were witnessing an action which would leave its mark upon the age. When we saw the pipe was lighted we gave a simultaneous start. Brasher put his hands under his coat tails and gave a kind of hop. I raised myself a good six inches from my chair, and Tress rubbed his palms together with a chuckle. Bob alone was calm.
During this process of lighting the pipe, we had sat—I don’t want to exaggerate, but we had sat and watched that drunk's antics as if we were witnessing something that would leave a mark on history. When we saw the pipe was lit, we all jumped at once. Brasher tucked his hands under his coat tails and did a little hop. I lifted myself about six inches off my chair, and Tress rubbed his hands together with a chuckle. Bob was the only one who stayed calm.
"Now," cried Tress, "you'll see the devil moving."
"Now," shouted Tress, "you'll see the devil in action."
Bob took the pipe from between his lips.
Bob pulled the pipe away from his lips.
"See what?" he said.
"See what?" he asked.
"Bob, you rascal, put that pipe back into your mouth, and smoke it for your life!"
"Bob, you sneaky guy, put that pipe back in your mouth and smoke it for your life!"
Bob was eying the pipe askance.
Bob was looking at the pipe suspiciously.
"I dare say, but what I want to know is whether this here varmint's dead or whether he isn't. I don't want to have him flying at my nose—and he looks vicious enough for anything."
"I have to ask, but what I want to know is whether this creature is dead or not. I don't want him coming at me—and he looks mean enough for anything."
"Give me back that pound, you thief, and get out of my house, and bundle."
"Give me back that pound, you thief, and get out of my house, and pack your things."
"I ain't going to give you back no pound."
"I’m not going to give you back any money."
"Then smoke that pipe!"
"Then hit that pipe!"
"I am smoking it, ain't I?"
"I'm smoking this, right?"
With the utmost deliberation Bob returned the pipe to his mouth. He emitted another whiff or two of smoke.
With careful thought, Bob brought the pipe back to his mouth. He let out another puff or two of smoke.
"Now—now!" cried Tress, all excitement, and wagging his hand in the air.
"Now—now!" shouted Tress, full of excitement, waving his hand in the air.
We gathered round. As we did so Bob again withdrew the pipe.
We all gathered around. As we did, Bob pulled out the pipe again.
"What is the meaning of all this here? I ain't going to have you playing none of your larks on me. I know there's something up, but I ain't going to throw my life away for twenty shillings—not quite I ain't."
"What’s the meaning of all this? I’m not going to let you mess around with me. I know something’s going on, but I’m not going to throw my life away for twenty shillings—not a chance."
Tress, whose temper is not at any time one of the best, was seized with quite a spasm of rage.
Tress, whose temper is never really great, was hit with a sudden burst of anger.
"As I live, my lad, if you try to cheat me by taking that pipe from between your lips until I tell you, you leave this room that instant, never again to be a servant of mine."
"As I live, my boy, if you try to trick me by taking that pipe out of your mouth before I say so, you leave this room right now, never to be my servant again."
I presume the fellow knew from long experience when his master meant what he said, and when he didn't. Without an attempt at remonstrance he replaced the pipe. He continued stolidly to puff away. Tress caught me by the arm.
I figured the guy knew from long experience when his boss was serious and when he wasn't. Without trying to argue, he put the pipe back. He kept smoking calmly. Tress grabbed my arm.
"What did I tell you? There—there! That tentacle is moving."
"What did I tell you? Look—there! That tentacle is moving."
The uplifted tentacle was moving. It was doing what I had seen it do, as I supposed, in my distorted imagination—it was reaching forward. Undoubtedly Bob saw what it was doing; but, whether in obedience to his master's commands, or whether because the drug was already beginning to take effect, he made no movement to withdraw the pipe. He watched the slowly advancing tentacle, coming closer and closer toward his nose, with an expression of such intense horror on his countenance that it became quite shocking. Farther and farther the creature reached forward, until on a sudden, with a sort of jerk, the movement assumed a downward direction, and the tentacle was slowly lowered until the tip rested on the stem of the pipe. For a moment the creature remained motionless. I was quieting my nerves with the reflection that this thing was but some trick of the carver's art, and that what we had seen we had seen in a sort of nightmare, when the whole hideous reptile was seized with what seemed to be a fit of convulsive shuddering. It seemed to be in agony. It trembled so violently that I expected to see it loosen its hold of the stem and fall to the ground. I was sufficiently master of myself to steal a glance at Bob. We had had an inkling of what might happen. He was wholly unprepared. As he saw that dreadful, human-looking creature, coming to life, as it seemed, within an inch or two of his nose, his eyes dilated to twice their usual size. I hoped, for his sake, that unconsciousness would supervene, through the action of the drug, before through sheer fright his senses left him. Perhaps mechanically he puffed steadily on.
The raised tentacle was moving. It was doing what I had seen it do, or at least I thought, in my twisted imagination—it was reaching out. Bob clearly noticed what it was doing; however, whether he was following his master’s orders or the drug was starting to take effect, he didn’t pull the pipe away. He watched the slowly approaching tentacle, coming closer and closer to his nose, with a look of such intense horror that it was quite shocking. The creature reached further and further until suddenly, with a sort of jerk, it moved downward, and the tentacle was slowly lowered until the tip rested on the stem of the pipe. For a moment, the creature stayed still. I tried to calm my nerves by reminding myself that this was just some trick of the carver’s art, and that what we had seen was like a sort of nightmare when the whole hideous reptile suddenly had what looked like a fit of convulsive shuddering. It appeared to be in pain. It shook so violently that I expected it to let go of the stem and fall to the ground. I managed to steal a glance at Bob. We had an inkling of what might occur. He was completely unprepared. As he saw that dreadful, human-looking creature seemingly coming to life just inches from his nose, his eyes widened to twice their usual size. I hoped, for his sake, that he would pass out, thanks to the drug, before sheer fear made him lose his senses. Maybe he was just mechanically puffing steadily away.
The creature's shuddering became more violent. It appeared to swell before our eyes. Then, just as suddenly as it began, the shuddering ceased. There was another instant of quiescence. Then the creature began to crawl along the stem of the pipe! It moved with marvelous caution, the merest fraction of an inch at a time. But still it moved! Our eyes were riveted on it with a fascination which was absolutely nauseous. I am unpleasantly affected even as I think of it now. My dreams of the night before had been nothing to this.
The creature's shaking got more intense. It seemed to expand right in front of us. Then, just as quickly as it started, the shaking stopped. There was a brief moment of stillness. Then the creature began to crawl along the pipe! It moved with incredible care, just a tiny bit at a time. But it kept moving! Our eyes were glued to it, completely captivated and utterly disgusted. I still feel uneasy just thinking about it. My nightmares from the night before were nothing compared to this.
Slowly, slowly, it went, nearer and nearer to the smoker's nose. Its mode of progression was in the highest degree unsightly. It glided, never, so far as I could see, removing its tentacles from the stem of the pipe. It slipped its hindmost feelers onward until they came up to those which were in advance. Then, in their turn, it advanced those which were in front. It seemed, too, to move with the utmost labor, shuddering as though it were in pain.
Slowly, slowly, it moved closer and closer to the smoker's nose. Its way of moving was extremely unattractive. It slid along, never, as far as I could tell, lifting its tentacles from the pipe stem. It pushed its back feelers forward until they reached the ones in the front. Then, it moved the front feelers ahead. It also appeared to move with a lot of effort, shaking as if it were in pain.
We were all, for our parts, speechless. I was momentarily hoping that the drug would take effect on Bob. Either his constitution enabled him to offer a strong resistance to narcotics, or else the large quantity of neat spirit which he had drunk acted—as Tress had malevolently intended that it should—as an antidote. It seemed to me that he would never succumb. On went the creature—on, and on, in its infinitesimal progression. I was spellbound. I would have given the world to scream, to have been able to utter a sound. I could do nothing else but watch.
We were all speechless. I was briefly hoping the drug would kick in for Bob. Either he had a strong tolerance for narcotics, or the large amount of straight alcohol he had consumed worked—just as Tress had maliciously intended—like an antidote. It felt like he would never give in. The creature kept moving—slowly, but continuously. I was mesmerized. I would have given anything to scream, to make any sound at all. All I could do was watch.
The creature had reached the end of the stem. It had gained the amber mouthpiece. It was within an inch of the smoker's nose. Still on it went. It seemed to move with greater freedom on the amber. It increased its rate of progress. It was actually touching the foremost feature on the smoker's countenance. I expected to see it grip the wretched Bob, when it began to oscillate from side to side. Its oscillations increased in violence. It fell to the floor. That same instant the narcotic prevailed. Bob slipped sideways from the chair, the pipe still held tightly between his rigid jaws.
The creature had made it to the end of the stem. It had reached the amber mouthpiece. It was just an inch away from the smoker's nose. But it kept going. It seemed to move more freely on the amber. Its speed picked up. It was actually making contact with the front of the smoker's face. I thought it would latch onto the unfortunate Bob when it started to sway side to side. Its swaying grew more intense. It fell to the floor. At that same moment, the narcotic took effect. Bob slid sideways from the chair, the pipe still clamped tightly between his stiff jaws.
We were silent. There lay Bob. Close beside him lay the creature. A few more inches to the left, and he would have fallen on and squashed it flat. It had fallen on its back. Its feelers were extended upward. They were writhing and twisting and turning in the air.
We were silent. There was Bob. Right next to him lay the creature. Just a few more inches to the left, and he would have landed on it and crushed it. It was lying on its back. Its feelers were stretched upward. They were writhing and twisting and turning in the air.
Tress was the first to speak.
Tress was the first to talk.
"I think a little brandy won't be amiss." Emptying the remainder of the brandy into a glass, he swallowed it at a draught. "Now for a closer examination of our friend." Taking a pair of tongs from the grate he nipped the creature between them. He deposited it upon the table. "I rather fancy that this is a case for dissection."
"I think a little brandy wouldn’t hurt." Emptying the rest of the brandy into a glass, he downed it in one go. "Now let’s take a closer look at our friend." Grabbing a pair of tongs from the fire, he picked up the creature with them. He placed it on the table. "I quite believe this is a case for dissection."
He took a penknife from his waistcoat pocket. Opening the large blade, he thrust its point into the object on the table. Little or no resistance seemed to be offered to the passage of the blade, but as it was inserted the tentacula simultaneously began to writhe and twist. Tress withdrew the knife.
He pulled a penknife from his vest pocket. Opening the big blade, he stabbed its point into the object on the table. There was hardly any resistance as the blade went in, but as he pushed it deeper, the tentacles started to squirm and twist. Tress pulled the knife back.
"I thought so!" He held the blade out for our inspection. The point was covered with some viscid-looking matter. "That's blood! The thing's alive!"
"I knew it!" He showed us the blade for a closer look. The tip was covered with a slimy substance. "That's blood! It's still alive!"
"Alive!"
"Alive!"
"Alive! That's the secret of the whole performance!"
"Alive! That’s the key to the entire show!"
"But—"
"But—"
"But me no buts, my Pugh! The mystery's exploded! One more ghost is lost to the world! The person from whom I obtained that pipe was an Indian juggler—up to many tricks of the trade. He, or some one for him, got hold of this sweet thing in reptiles—and a sweeter thing would, I imagine, be hard to find—and covered it with some preparation of, possibly, gum arabic. He allowed this to harden. Then he stuck the thing—still living, for those sort of gentry are hard to kill—to the pipe. The consequence was that when anyone lit up, the warmth was communicated to the adhesive agent—again some preparation of gum, no doubt—it moistened it, and the creature, with infinite difficulty, was able to move. But I am open to lay odds with any gentleman of sporting tastes that this time the creature's traveling days are done. It has given me rather a larger taste of the horrors than is good for my digestion."
"But no excuses, my Pugh! The mystery's out in the open! One more ghost is gone from the world! The person I got that pipe from was an Indian juggler—full of tricks. He, or someone working for him, got hold of this little creature in reptiles—and I'd bet it's hard to find a sweeter one—and covered it with some kind of gum arabic. He let it harden. Then he attached the creature—still alive, since those kinds are tough to kill—to the pipe. So when someone lit it up, the heat transferred to the adhesive—again probably some kind of gum—and the creature, with great difficulty, was able to move. But I would bet with any gentleman who enjoys a wager that this time the creature's traveling days are over. I've had more of the horrors than is good for my stomach."
With the aid of the tongs he removed the creature from the table. He placed it on the hearth. Before Brasher or I had a notion of what it was he intended to do he covered it with a heavy marble paper weight. Then he stood upon the weight, and between the marble and the hearth he ground the creature flat.
With the tongs, he took the creature off the table. He placed it on the hearth. Before Brasher or I realized what he was planning, he covered it with a heavy marble paperweight. Then, he stood on the weight and ground the creature flat between the marble and the hearth.
While the execution was still proceeding, Bob sat up upon the floor.
While the execution was still happening, Bob sat up on the floor.
"Hollo!" he asked, "what's happened?"
"Hello!" he asked, "what happened?"
"We've emptied the bottle, Bob," said Tress. "But there's another where that came from. Perhaps you could drink another tumblerful, my boy?"
"We've finished the bottle, Bob," Tress said. "But there's another one where that came from. Maybe you could have another glass, my boy?"
Bob drank it!
Bob drank it!
FOOTNOTE
"Those gentry are hard to kill." Here is fact, not fantasy. Lizard yarns no less sensational than this Mystery Story can be found between the covers of solemn, zoological textbooks.
"Those rich folks are hard to get rid of." This is a fact, not a fairy tale. Lizard tales just as sensational as this Mystery Story can be found in the pages of serious, zoological textbooks.
Reptiles, indeed, are far from finicky in the matters of air, space, and especially warmth. Frogs and other such sluggish-blooded creatures have lived after being frozen fast in ice. Their blood is little warmer than air or water, enjoying no extra casing of fur or feathers.
Reptiles are definitely not picky when it comes to air, space, and especially warmth. Frogs and other similar cold-blooded creatures have survived after being frozen solid in ice. Their blood is only slightly warmer than air or water, lacking any extra layer of fur or feathers.
Air and food seem held in light esteem by lizards. Their blood need not be highly oxygenated; it nourishes just as well when impure. In temperate climes lizards lie torpid and buried all winter; some species of the tropic deserts sleep peacefully all summer. Their anatomy includes no means for the continuous introduction and expulsion of air; reptilian lungs are little more than closed sacs, without cell structure.
Air and food don’t seem very important to lizards. Their blood doesn’t need to be very oxygenated; it works just as well even when it's not. In temperate regions, lizards stay inactive and buried all winter; some species in tropical deserts sleep soundly all summer. Their anatomy doesn’t have a way for continuous breathing; reptilian lungs are just simple closed sacs, lacking cell structure.
If any further zoological fact were needed to verify the dénouement of "The Pipe," it might be the general statement that lizards are abnormal brutes anyhow. Consider the chameleons of unsettled hue. And what is one to think of an animal which, when captured by the tail, is able to make its escape by willfully shuffling off that appendage?—EDITOR.
If any more zoological facts were needed to confirm the outcome of "The Pipe," it could be the general observation that lizards are strange creatures anyway. Think about the chameleons with their unpredictable colors. And what are we supposed to think about an animal that can escape when caught by the tail, simply by intentionally shedding that part?—EDITOR.
The Puzzle
I
Pugh came into my room holding something wrapped in a piece of brown paper.
Pugh walked into my room holding something wrapped in brown paper.
"Tress, I have brought you something on which you may exercise your ingenuity." He began, with exasperating deliberation, to untie the string which bound his parcel; he is one of those persons who would not cut a knot to save their lives. The process occupied him the better part of a quarter of an hour. Then he held out the contents of the paper.
"Tress, I have brought you something you can use your creativity on." He started, with annoying slowness, to untie the string that held his parcel; he's the type of person who wouldn't cut a knot even to save himself. The process took him almost fifteen minutes. Then he showed her the contents of the paper.
"What do you think of that?" he asked. I thought nothing of it, and I told him so. "I was prepared for that confession. I have noticed, Tress, that you generally do think nothing of an article which really deserves the attention of a truly thoughtful mind. Possibly, as you think so little of it, you will be able to solve the puzzle."
"What do you think about that?" he asked. I didn't think anything of it, and I told him so. "I was ready for that confession. I've noticed, Tress, that you usually don't pay much attention to something that truly deserves the focus of a genuinely thoughtful mind. Maybe since you think so little of it, you'll be able to solve the puzzle."
I took what he held out to me. It was an oblong box, perhaps seven inches long by three inches broad.
I took what he offered me. It was a rectangular box, maybe seven inches long and three inches wide.
"Where's the puzzle?" I asked.
"Where's the puzzle?" I asked.
"If you will examine the lid of the box, you will see."
"If you check out the lid of the box, you'll see."
I turned it over and over; it was difficult to see which was the lid. Then I perceived that on one side were printed these words:
I flipped it around and around; it was hard to tell which side was the lid. Then I noticed that these words were printed on one side:
"PUZZLE: TO OPEN THE BOX"
"PUZZLE: UNLOCK THE BOX"
The words were so faintly printed that it was not surprising that I had not noticed them at first. Pugh explained.
The words were printed so faintly that it was no wonder I hadn’t noticed them at first. Pugh explained.
"I observed that box on a tray outside a second-hand furniture shop. It struck my eye. I took it up. I examined it. I inquired of the proprietor of the shop in what the puzzle lay. He replied that that was more than he could tell me. He himself had made several attempts to open the box, and all of them had failed. I purchased it. I took it home. I have tried, and I have failed. I am aware, Tress, of how you pride yourself upon your ingenuity. I cannot doubt that, if you try, you will not fail."
"I saw that box on a tray outside a second-hand furniture store. It caught my attention. I picked it up. I looked it over. I asked the shop owner what the puzzle was. He said that was more than he could explain. He had tried several times to open the box, and none of his attempts worked. I bought it. I brought it home. I've tried, and I've failed. I know, Tress, how much you pride yourself on your cleverness. I have no doubt that if you give it a try, you won't fail."
While Pugh was prosing, I was examining the box. It was at least well made. It weighed certainly under two ounces. I struck it with my knuckles; it sounded hollow. There was no hinge; nothing of any kind to show that it ever had been opened, or, for the matter of that, that it ever could be opened. The more I examined the thing, the more it whetted my curiosity. That it could be opened, and in some ingenious manner, I made no doubt—but how?
While Pugh was going on and on, I was looking at the box. It was definitely well made. It weighed less than two ounces. I knocked on it with my knuckles; it sounded hollow. There was no hinge; nothing at all to indicate that it had ever been opened, or that it ever could be opened. The more I looked at it, the more my curiosity grew. I had no doubt that it could be opened somehow, but how?
The box was not a new one. At a rough guess I should say that it had been a box for a good half century; there were certain signs of age about it which could not escape a practiced eye. Had it remained unopened all that time? When opened, what would be found inside? It sounded hollow; probably nothing at all—who could tell?
The box wasn't new. I'd guess it had been around for at least fifty years; there were obvious signs of age that a trained eye would notice. Had it stayed closed all that time? What would be inside when it was finally opened? It sounded empty; probably nothing—who knows?
It was formed of small pieces of inlaid wood. Several woods had been used; some of them were strange to me. They were of different colors; it was pretty obvious that they must all of them have been hard woods. The pieces were of various shapes—hexagonal, octagonal, triangular, square, oblong, and even circular. The process of inlaying them had been beautifully done. So nicely had the parts been joined that the lines of meeting were difficult to discover with the naked eye; they had been joined solid, so to speak. It was an excellent example of marquetry. I had been over-hasty in my deprecation; I owed as much to Pugh.
It was made up of small pieces of inlaid wood. Several types of wood were used; some of them were unfamiliar to me. They came in different colors, and it was pretty clear that they all had to be hardwoods. The pieces were in various shapes—hexagonal, octagonal, triangular, square, oblong, and even circular. The inlaying process was done beautifully. The joints were so well made that the seams were hard to see with the naked eye; they fit together solidly, so to speak. It was a fantastic example of marquetry. I had been too quick to criticize; I owed that much to Pugh.
"This box of yours is better worth looking at than I first supposed. Is it to be sold?"
"This box of yours is more interesting than I initially thought. Is it for sale?"
"No, it is not to be sold. Nor"—he "fixed" me with his spectacles—"is it to be given away. I have brought it to you for the simple purpose of ascertaining if you have ingenuity enough to open it."
"No, it's not for sale. Nor"—he "fixed" me with his glasses—"is it to be given away. I brought it to you solely to see if you have the cleverness to open it."
"I will engage to open it in two seconds—with a hammer."
"I'll get it open in two seconds—with a hammer."
"I dare say. I will open it with a hammer. The thing is to open it without."
"I'll say this. I will break it open with a hammer. The key is to open it without."
"Let me see." I began, with the aid of a microscope, to examine the box more closely. "I will give you one piece of information, Pugh. Unless I am mistaken, the secret lies in one of these little pieces of inlaid wood. You push it, or you press it, or something, and the whole affair flies open."
"Let me take a look." I started, using a microscope to examine the box more closely. "I'll give you some info, Pugh. If I'm right, the secret is hidden in one of these small pieces of inlaid wood. You either push it, or press it, or something like that, and the whole thing pops open."
"Such was my own first conviction. I am not so sure of it now. I have pressed every separate piece of wood; I have tried to move each piece in every direction. No result has followed. My theory was a hidden spring."
"That was my initial belief. I'm not so sure about it now. I've analyzed every individual piece of wood; I've attempted to move each piece in every direction. No results have come from it. I thought there was a hidden spring."
"But there must be a hidden spring of some sort, unless you are to open it by a mere exercise of force. I suppose the box is empty."
"But there has to be some hidden mechanism, unless you're just going to force it open. I guess the box is empty."
"I thought it was at first, but now I am not so sure of that either. It all depends on the position in which you hold it. Hold it in this position—like this—close to your ear. Have you a small hammer?" I took a small hammer. "Tap it softly, with the hammer. Don't you notice a sort of reverberation within?"
"I thought it was at first, but now I'm not so sure about that either. It all depends on how you hold it. Hold it like this—close to your ear. Do you have a small hammer?" I grabbed a small hammer. "Tap it gently with the hammer. Don't you notice a kind of reverberation inside?"
Pugh was right, there certainly was something within; something which seemed to echo back my tapping, almost as if it were a living thing. I mentioned this to Pugh.
Pugh was right; there was definitely something inside, something that seemed to respond to my tapping, almost like it was alive. I told Pugh about this.
"But you don't think that there is something alive inside the box? There can't be. The box must be air-tight, probably as much air-tight as an exhausted receiver."
"But you don't think there's something alive inside the box? There can't be. The box has to be airtight, probably as airtight as a worn-out receiver."
"How do we know that? How can we tell that no minute interstices have been left for the express purpose of ventilation?" I continued tapping with the hammer. I noticed one peculiarity, that it was only when I held the box in a particular position, and tapped at a certain spot, there came the answering taps from within. "I tell you what it is, Pugh, what I hear is the reverberation of some machinery."
"How do we know that? How can we tell that no tiny gaps have been left for ventilation?" I kept tapping with the hammer. I noticed one strange thing: it was only when I held the box in a certain way and tapped at a specific spot that I got responding taps from inside. "I'll tell you what it is, Pugh—what I'm hearing is the echo of some machinery."
"Do you think so?"
"Think so?"
"I'm sure of it."
"I'm definitely sure of it."
"Give the box to me." Pugh put the box to his ear. He tapped. "It sounds to me like the echoing tick, tick of some great beetle; like the sort of noise which a deathwatch makes, you know."
"Give me the box." Pugh held the box to his ear. He tapped it. "It sounds like the echoing tick, tick of a big beetle; like the kind of noise a deathwatch beetle makes, you know."
Trust Pugh to find a remarkable explanation for a simple fact; if the explanation leans toward the supernatural, so much the more satisfactory to Pugh. I knew better.
Trust Pugh to come up with an impressive reason for a straightforward fact; if that reason has a hint of the supernatural, it’s even more satisfying for Pugh. I knew better.
"The sound which you hear is merely the throbbing or the trembling of the mechanism with which it is intended that the box should be opened. The mechanism is placed just where you are tapping it with the hammer. Every tap causes it to jar."
"The sound you hear is just the thumping or shaking of the mechanism meant to open the box. The mechanism is located right where you're hitting it with the hammer. Every tap makes it rattle."
"It sounds to me like the ticking of a deathwatch. However, on such subjects, Tress, I know what you are."
"It sounds to me like the ticking of a deathwatch. However, on topics like this, Tress, I know what you are."
"My dear Pugh, give it an extra hard tap, and you will see."
"My dear Pugh, give it a good hard tap, and you'll see."
He gave it an extra hard tap. The moment he had done so, he started.
He gave it an extra hard tap. As soon as he did, he jumped.
"I've done it now."
"I've messed up now."
"What have you done?"
"What did you do?"
"Broken something, I fancy." He listened intently, with his ear to the box. "No—it seems all right. And yet I could have sworn I had damaged something; I heard it smash."
"Something broke, I think." He listened closely, pressing his ear to the box. "No—it seems fine. And yet I could have sworn I broke something; I heard it shatter."
"Give me the box." He gave it me. In my turn, I listened. I shook the box. Pugh must have been mistaken. Nothing rattled; there was not a sound; the box was as empty as before. I gave a smart tap with the hammer, as Pugh had done. Then there certainly was a curious sound. To my ear, it sounded like the smashing of glass. "I wonder if there is anything fragile inside your precious puzzle, Pugh, and, if so, if we are shivering it by degrees?"
"Give me the box." He handed it to me. I listened closely. I shook the box. Pugh must have been wrong. Nothing rattled; there wasn't a sound; the box was as empty as before. I tapped it sharply with the hammer, just like Pugh had done. Then I definitely heard a strange sound. To me, it sounded like glass breaking. "I wonder if there's anything fragile inside your precious puzzle, Pugh, and if we might be shaking it to pieces?"
II
"What is that noise?"
"What's that noise?"
I lay in bed in that curious condition which is between sleep and waking. When, at last, I knew that I was awake, I asked myself what it was that had woke me. Suddenly I became conscious that something was making itself audible in the silence of the night. For some seconds I lay and listened. Then I sat up in bed.
I lay in bed in that strange state between sleep and wakefulness. When I finally realized I was awake, I wondered what had roused me. Suddenly, I noticed that something was breaking the silence of the night. For a few seconds, I listened intently. Then I sat up in bed.
"What is that noise?"
"What's that noise?"
It was like the tick, tick of some large and unusually clear-toned clock. It might have been a clock, had it not been that the sound was varied, every half dozen ticks or so, by a sort of stifled screech, such as might have been uttered by some small creature in an extremity of anguish. I got out of bed; it was ridiculous to think of sleep during the continuation of that uncanny shrieking. I struck a light. The sound seemed to come from the neighborhood of my dressing-table. I went to the dressing-table, the lighted match in my hand, and, as I did so, my eyes fell on Pugh's mysterious box. That same instant there issued, from the bowels of the box, a more uncomfortable screech than any I had previously heard. It took me so completely by surprise that I let the match fall from my hand to the floor. The room was in darkness. I stood, I will not say trembling, listening—considering their volume—to the eeriest shrieks I ever heard. All at once they ceased. Then came the tick, tick, tick again. I struck another match and lit the gas.
It was like the tick, tick of a big, unusually clear clock. It could have been a clock if it weren't for the fact that every few ticks was interrupted by a sort of muffled screech, like something small in extreme distress. I got out of bed; it was ridiculous to think about sleeping while that eerie wailing continued. I struck a light. The sound seemed to come from around my dressing table. I walked over to the dressing table, holding the lit match, and as I did, I noticed Pugh's mysterious box. At that moment, a screech came from deep inside the box, even more unsettling than anything I had heard before. It surprised me so much that I dropped the match onto the floor. The room was in darkness. I stood there—not shaking, but listening—to the eeriest shrieks I had ever heard. Suddenly, they stopped. Then the tick, tick, tick started again. I struck another match and lit the gas.
Pugh had left his puzzle box behind him. We had done all we could, together, to solve the puzzle. He had left it behind to see what I could do with it alone. So much had it engrossed my attention that I had even brought it into my bedroom, in order that I might, before retiring to rest, make a final attempt at the solution of the mystery. Now what possessed the thing?
Pugh had left his puzzle box behind. We had done everything we could together to solve it. He had left it for me to see what I could figure out on my own. It had captured my attention so much that I even brought it into my bedroom, hoping to make one last attempt at solving the mystery before going to sleep. Now what was the deal with this thing?
As I stood, and looked, and listened, one thing began to be clear to me, that some sort of machinery had been set in motion inside the box. How it had been set in motion was another matter. But the box had been subjected to so much handling, to such pressing and such hammering, that it was not strange if, after all, Pugh or I had unconsciously hit upon the spring which set the whole thing going. Possibly the mechanism had got so rusty that it had refused to act at once. It had hung fire, and only after some hours had something or other set the imprisoned motive power free.
As I stood there, watching and listening, one thing became clear to me: some kind of machinery had started up inside the box. How it was triggered was another question. But the box had been handled so much, pressed and hammered, that it wasn't surprising if, without realizing it, Pugh or I had accidentally activated the spring that set everything in motion. The mechanism might have gotten so rusty that it didn’t work immediately. It had stalled, and only after a few hours did something finally release the trapped energy.
But what about the screeching? Could there be some living creature concealed within the box? Was I listening to the cries of some small animal in agony? Momentary reflection suggested that the explanation of the one thing was the explanation of the other. Rust!—there was the mystery. The same rust which had prevented the mechanism from acting at once was causing the screeching now. The uncanny sounds were caused by nothing more nor less than the want of a drop or two of oil. Such an explanation would not have satisfied Pugh, it satisfied me.
But what about the screeching? Could there be some creature hidden inside the box? Was I hearing the cries of a small animal in pain? A brief moment of thought made me realize that figuring out one problem could explain the other. Rust!—that was the mystery. The same rust that had stopped the mechanism from working instantly was now causing the screeching. The strange noises were produced by nothing more than a drop or two of oil that was missing. That explanation wouldn’t have satisfied Pugh, but it was enough for me.
Picking up the box, I placed it to my ear.
Picking up the box, I held it to my ear.
"I wonder how long this little performance is going to continue. And what is going to happen when it is good enough to cease? I hope"—an uncomfortable thought occurred to me—"I hope Pugh hasn't picked up some pleasant little novelty in the way of an infernal machine. It would be a first-rate joke if he and I had been endeavoring to solve the puzzle of how to set it going."
"I wonder how long this little show is going to keep going. And what will happen when it's good enough to stop? I hope"—an unsettling thought crossed my mind—"I hope Pugh hasn't come across some amusing little contraption like a bomb. It would be a great joke if he and I had been trying to figure out how to activate it."
I don't mind owning that as this reflection crossed my mind I replaced Pugh's puzzle on the dressing-table. The idea did not commend itself to me at all. The box evidently contained some curious mechanism. It might be more curious than comfortable. Possibly some agreeable little device in clockwork. The tick, tick, tick suggested clockwork which had been planned to go a certain time, and then—then, for all I knew, ignite an explosive, and—blow up. It would be a charming solution to the puzzle if it were to explode while I stood there, in my nightshirt, looking on. It is true that the box weighed very little. Probably, as I have said, the whole affair would not have turned the scale at a couple of ounces. But then its very lightness might have been part of the ingenious inventor's little game. There are explosives with which one can work a very satisfactory amount of damage with considerably less than a couple of ounces.
I don’t mind admitting that as this thought crossed my mind, I put Pugh's puzzle back on the dressing table. The idea didn’t appeal to me at all. The box clearly had some strange mechanism inside. It could be more curious than comfortable. Maybe it had some clever little clockwork device. The tick, tick, tick suggested it was designed to go for a certain time and then—who knows—ignite an explosive and blow up. It would be a charming twist if it exploded while I was standing there in my nightshirt, just watching. It’s true that the box was really light. Probably, as I mentioned, the whole thing wouldn’t weigh more than a couple of ounces. But its lightness could be part of the clever inventor’s little trick. There are explosives that can cause a lot of damage with much less than a couple of ounces.
While I was hesitating—I own it!—whether I had not better immerse Pugh's puzzle in a can of water, or throw it out of the window, or call down Bob with a request to at once remove it to his apartment, both the tick, tick, tick, and the screeching ceased, and all within the box was still. If it was going to explode, it was now or never. Instinctively I moved in the direction of the door.
While I was hesitating—I admit it!—whether I should just dunk Pugh's puzzle in a bucket of water, toss it out the window, or call Bob to come and take it to his place, both the ticking and the screeching suddenly stopped, and everything inside the box was quiet. If it was going to blow up, it was now or never. Instinctively, I headed toward the door.
I waited with a certain sense of anxiety. I waited in vain. Nothing happened, not even a renewal of the sound.
I waited with a feeling of anxiety. I waited for nothing. Nothing happened, not even a return of the sound.
"I wish Pugh had kept his precious puzzle at home. This sort of thing tries one's nerves."
"I wish Pugh had just left his precious puzzle at home. This kind of thing really tests your patience."
When I thought that I perceived that nothing seemed likely to happen, I returned to the neighborhood of the table. I looked at the box askance. I took it up gingerly. Something might go off at any moment for all I knew. It would be too much of a joke if Pugh's precious puzzle exploded in my hand. I shook it doubtfully; nothing rattled. I held it to my ear. There was not a sound. What had taken place? Had the clockwork run down, and was the machine arranged with such a diabolical ingenuity that a certain, interval was required, after the clockwork had run down, before an explosion could occur? Or had rust caused the mechanism to again hang fire?
When I thought nothing was going to happen, I went back to the area around the table. I looked at the box suspiciously. I picked it up carefully. Something could go off at any moment for all I knew. It would be a real joke if Pugh's precious puzzle exploded in my hand. I shook it hesitantly; nothing rattled. I held it to my ear. There was no sound. What had happened? Had the clockwork run out, and was the machine designed with such cleverness that a certain interval was needed, after the clockwork had run down, before an explosion could happen? Or had rust caused the mechanism to stall again?
"After making all that commotion the thing might at least come open." I banged the box viciously against the corner of the table. I felt that I would almost rather that an explosion should take place than that nothing should occur. One does not care to be disturbed from one's sound slumber in the small hours of the morning for a trifle.
"After making all that noise, it should at least open." I smashed the box hard against the corner of the table. I almost preferred there to be an explosion rather than nothing happening at all. No one wants to be woken from a deep sleep in the early hours of the morning over something insignificant.
"I've half a mind to get a hammer, and try, as they say in the cookery books, another way."
"I’m tempted to grab a hammer and try, like they say in the cookbooks, a different approach."
Unfortunately I had promised Pugh to abstain from using force. I might have shivered the box open with my hammer, and then explained that it had fallen, or got trod upon, or sat upon, or something, and so got shattered, only I was afraid that Pugh would not believe me. The man is himself such an untruthful man that he is in a chronic state of suspicion about the truthfulness of others.
Unfortunately, I had promised Pugh that I wouldn't use force. I could have smashed the box open with my hammer and then claimed that it had fallen, been stepped on, or sat on, or something like that, and ended up broken, but I was worried that Pugh wouldn't believe me. He's such a dishonest person that he's always suspicious of everyone else's honesty.
"Well, if you're not going to blow up, or open, or something, I'll say good night."
"Well, if you're not going to explode or open up or anything, I'll say good night."
I gave the box a final rap with my knuckles and a final shake, replaced it on the table, put out the gas, and returned to bed.
I gave the box one last knock with my knuckles and a final shake, set it back on the table, turned off the gas, and went back to bed.
I was just sinking again into slumber, when that box began again. It was true that Pugh had purchased the puzzle, but it was evident that the whole enjoyment of the purchase was destined to be mine. It was useless to think of sleep while that performance was going on. I sat up in bed once more.
I was just dozing off again when that box started up again. It was true that Pugh bought the puzzle, but it was clear that all the fun of the purchase was going to be mine. There was no use trying to sleep while that performance was happening. I sat up in bed once more.
"It strikes me that the puzzle consists in finding out how it is possible to go to sleep with Pugh's purchase in your bedroom. This is far better than the old-fashioned prescription of cats on the tiles."
"It occurs to me that the challenge is figuring out how you can fall asleep with Pugh's purchase in your bedroom. This is much better than the old-school idea of having cats on the roof."
It struck me the noise was distinctly louder than before; this applied both to the tick, tick, tick, and the screeching.
It hit me that the noise was definitely louder than before; this was true for both the tick, tick, tick and the screeching.
"Possibly," I told myself, as I relighted the gas, "the explosion is to come off this time."
"Maybe," I told myself as I lit the gas again, "the explosion will happen this time."
I turned to look at the box. There could be no doubt about it; the noise was louder. And, if I could trust my eyes, the box was moving—giving a series of little jumps. This might have been an optical delusion, but it seemed to me that at each tick the box gave a little bound. During the screeches—which sounded more like the cries of an animal in an agony of pain even than before—if it did not tilt itself first on one end, and then on another, I shall never be willing to trust the evidence of my own eyes again. And surely the box had increased in size; I could have sworn not only that it had increased, but that it was increasing, even as I stood there looking on. It had grown, and still was growing, both broader, and longer, and deeper. Pugh, of course, would have attributed it to supernatural agency; there never was a man with such a nose for a ghost. I could picture him occupying my position, shivering in his nightshirt, as he beheld that miracle taking place before his eyes. The solution which at once suggested itself to me—and which would never have suggested itself to Pugh!—was that the box was fashioned, as it were, in layers, and that the ingenious mechanism it contained was forcing the sides at once both upward and outward. I took it in my hand. I could feel something striking against the bottom of the box, like the tap, tap, tapping of a tiny hammer.
I turned to look at the box. There was no doubt about it; the noise was louder. And if I could trust my eyes, the box was moving—making a series of small jumps. This could have been an optical illusion, but it seemed to me that with each tick, the box made a little bounce. During the screeches—which sounded even more like the cries of an animal in agony than before—if it didn’t tilt first on one end, then the other, I’ll never trust my own eyes again. And surely the box had gotten bigger; I could have sworn not only that it had increased, but that it was still increasing as I watched. It had grown, and was still growing, both wider, longer, and deeper. Pugh, of course, would have blamed it on some supernatural force; there’s never been a man with such a knack for sensing a ghost. I could picture him in my place, shivering in his nightshirt, witnessing that miracle unfolding before him. The solution that immediately came to mind—and which would never have come to Pugh!—was that the box was designed in layers, and that the clever mechanism inside was pushing the sides both upward and outward. I picked it up. I could feel something tapping against the bottom of the box, like the tap, tap, tapping of a tiny hammer.
"This is a pretty puzzle of Pugh's. He would say that that is the tapping of a deathwatch. For my part I have not much faith in deathwatches, et hoc genus omne, but it certainly is a curious tapping; I wonder what is going to happen next?"
"This is a pretty puzzle of Pugh's. He would say that this is the tapping of a deathwatch. As for me, I don’t have much faith in deathwatches, et hoc genus omne, but it definitely is an interesting tapping; I wonder what’s going to happen next?"
Apparently nothing, except a continuation of those mysterious sounds. That the box had increased in size I had, and have, no doubt whatever. I should say that it had increased a good inch in every direction, at least half an inch while I had been looking on. But while I stood looking its growth was suddenly and perceptibly stayed; it ceased to move. Only the noise continued.
Apparently nothing, except a continuation of those mysterious sounds. I have no doubt that the box had grown in size. I would say it had increased by a good inch in every direction, at least half an inch while I had been watching. But as I stood there, its growth suddenly and noticeably stopped; it ceased to move. Only the noise continued.
"I wonder how long it will be before anything worth happening does happen! I suppose something is going to happen; there can't be all this to-do for nothing. If it is anything in the infernal machine line, and there is going to be an explosion, I might as well be here to see it. I think I'll have a pipe."
"I wonder how long it will be before something really interesting happens! I guess something is about to go down; there can't be all this fuss for no reason. If it's related to some dangerous machinery and there's going to be an explosion, I might as well stick around to witness it. I think I'll light up a pipe."
I put on my dressing-gown. I lit my pipe. I sat and stared at the box. I dare say I sat there for quite twenty minutes when, as before, without any sort of warning, the sound was stilled. Its sudden cessation rather startled me.
I put on my robe. I lit my pipe. I sat and stared at the box. I guess I sat there for about twenty minutes when, just like before, without any warning, the sound stopped. Its sudden silence took me by surprise.
"Has the mechanism again hung fire? Or, this time, is the explosion coming off?" It did not come off; nothing came off. "Isn't the box even going to open?"
"Is the mechanism stuck again? Or is the explosion actually going to happen this time?" It didn't happen; nothing happened. "Is the box not even going to open?"
It did not open. There was simply silence all at once, and that was all. I sat there in expectation for some moments longer. But I sat for nothing. I rose. I took the box in my hand. I shook it.
It didn't open. Suddenly, there was just silence, and that was it. I waited there a little longer, full of expectation. But it was all for nothing. I got up. I picked up the box in my hand. I shook it.
"This puzzle is a puzzle." I held the box first to one ear, then to the other. I gave it several sharp raps with my knuckles. There was not an answering sound, not even the sort of reverberation which Pugh and I had noticed at first. It seemed hollower than ever. It was as though the soul of the box was dead. "I suppose if I put you down, and extinguish the gas and return to bed, in about half an hour or so, just as I am dropping off to sleep, the performance will be recommenced. Perhaps the third time will be lucky."
"This puzzle is a puzzle." I held the box up to each ear, then the other. I tapped it sharply with my knuckles. There was no response, not even the echo Pugh and I had noticed at first. It felt emptier than ever. It was like the spirit of the box was gone. "I guess if I set you down, turn off the gas, and go back to bed, in about half an hour or so, just when I’m about to fall asleep, the show will start again. Maybe the third time will be lucky."
But I was mistaken—there was no third time. When I returned to bed that time I returned to sleep, and I was allowed to sleep; there was no continuation of the performance, at least so far as I know. For no sooner was I once more between the sheets than I was seized with an irresistible drowsiness, a drowsiness which so mastered me that I—I imagine it must have been instantly—sank into slumber which lasted till long after day had dawned. Whether or not any more mysterious sounds issued from the bowels of Pugh's puzzle is more than I can tell. If they did, they did not succeed in rousing me.
But I was wrong—there was no third time. When I went back to bed then, I went straight to sleep, and I was allowed to sleep; there was no continuation of the performance, at least as far as I know. No sooner was I once again between the sheets than I was hit with an overwhelming drowsiness, a drowsiness that took over me so completely that I—I guess it must have been instantly—fell into a deep sleep that lasted long after day had broken. Whether any more mysterious sounds came from the depths of Pugh's puzzle is beyond my knowledge. If they did, they didn’t wake me up.
And yet, when at last I did awake, I had a sort of consciousness that my waking had been caused by something strange. What it was I could not surmise. My own impression was that I had been awakened by the touch of a person's hand. But that impression must have been a mistaken one, because, as I could easily see by looking round the room, there was no one in the room to touch me.
And yet, when I finally woke up, I had a feeling that something strange had caused me to wake. I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought I had been stirred by someone’s hand. But that idea turned out to be wrong, because, as I could easily see when I looked around the room, there was no one there to touch me.
It was broad daylight. I looked at my watch; it was nearly eleven o'clock. I am a pretty late sleeper as a rule, but I do not usually sleep as late as that. That scoundrel Bob would let me sleep all day without thinking it necessary to call me. I was just about to spring out of bed with the intention of ringing the bell so that I might give Bob a piece of my mind for allowing me to sleep so late, when my glance fell on the dressing-table on which, the night before, I had placed Pugh's puzzle. It had gone!
It was bright outside. I checked my watch; it was almost eleven o'clock. I usually sleep in, but I don't normally sleep this late. That jerk Bob would let me sleep all day without even bothering to wake me. I was just about to jump out of bed to ring the bell and give Bob a piece of my mind for letting me sleep in so much when I noticed the dressing table where I had left Pugh's puzzle the night before. It was missing!
Its absence so took me by surprise that I ran to the table. It had gone. But it had not gone far; it had gone to pieces! There were the pieces lying where the box had been. The puzzle had solved itself. The box was open, open with a vengeance, one might say. Like that unfortunate Humpty Dumpty, who, so the chroniclers tell us, sat on a wall, surely "all the king's horses and all the king's men" never could put Pugh's puzzle together again!
Its absence caught me so off guard that I rushed to the table. It was gone. But it hadn’t gone far; it had shattered! There were the pieces lying where the box had been. The puzzle had figured itself out. The box was open, wide open, one might say. Like that poor Humpty Dumpty, who, as the stories say, sat on a wall, surely "all the king's horses and all the king's men" could never piece Pugh's puzzle back together!
The marquetry had resolved itself into its component parts. How those parts had ever been joined was a mystery. They had been laid upon no foundation, as is the case with ordinary inlaid work. The several pieces of wood were not only of different shapes and sizes, but they were as thin as the thinnest veneer; yet the box had been formed by simply joining them together. The man who made that box must have been possessed of ingenuity worthy of a better cause.
The marquetry had broken down into its individual pieces. How those pieces were ever connected was a mystery. They were placed without any foundation, unlike typical inlaid work. The various pieces of wood were not only different shapes and sizes, but they were as thin as the thinnest veneer; yet the box had been created by just putting them together. The person who made that box must have had skills deserving of a better purpose.
I perceived how the puzzle had been worked. The box had contained an arrangement of springs, which, on being released, had expanded themselves in different directions until their mere expansion had rent the box to pieces. There were the springs, lying amid the ruin they had caused.
I realized how the puzzle had been solved. The box had held a setup of springs that, once released, spread out in different directions and tore the box apart. There were the springs, scattered among the wreckage they created.
There was something else amid that ruin besides those springs; there was a small piece of writing paper. I took it up. On the reverse side of it was written in a minute, crabbed hand: "A Present For You." What was a present for me? I looked, and, not for the first time since I had caught sight of Pugh's precious puzzle, could scarcely believe my eyes.
There was something else among that ruin besides those springs; there was a small piece of writing paper. I picked it up. On the back of it was written in tiny, cramped handwriting: "A Present For You." What was a present for me? I looked, and, not for the first time since I had spotted Pugh's precious puzzle, I could hardly believe my eyes.
There, poised between two upright wires, the bent ends of which held it aloft in the air, was either a piece of glass or—a crystal. The scrap of writing paper had exactly covered it. I understood what it was, when Pugh and I had tapped with the hammer, had caused the answering taps to proceed from within. Our taps caused the wires to oscillate, and in these oscillations the crystal, which they held suspended, had touched the side of the box.
There, balanced between two vertical wires, the bent ends of which lifted it up in the air, was either a piece of glass or—a crystal. The scrap of writing paper had completely covered it. I realized what it was when Pugh and I tapped it with the hammer, which made the taps respond from inside. Our taps made the wires shake, and in those vibrations, the crystal they were holding had hit the side of the box.
I looked again at the piece of paper. "A Present For You." Was this the present—this crystal? I regarded it intently.
I looked back at the piece of paper. "A Present For You." Was this the gift—this crystal? I examined it closely.
"It can't be a diamond."
"It can't be a diamond."
The idea was ridiculous, absurd. No man in his senses would place a diamond inside a twopenny-halfpenny puzzle box. The thing was as big as a walnut! And yet—I am a pretty good judge of precious stones—if it was not an uncut diamond it was the best imitation I had seen. I took it up. I examined it closely. The more closely I examined it, the more my wonder grew.
The idea was ridiculous, absurd. No sane person would put a diamond inside a cheap puzzle box. The thing was as big as a walnut! And yet—I’m pretty good at judging precious stones—if it wasn’t an uncut diamond, it was the best fake I’d ever seen. I picked it up. I looked at it closely. The more I examined it, the more amazed I became.
"It is a diamond!"
"It's a diamond!"
And yet the idea was too preposterous for credence. Who would present a diamond as big as a walnut with a trumpery puzzle? Besides, all the diamonds which the world contains of that size are almost as well known as the Koh-i-noor.
And yet the idea was too outrageous to believe. Who would show off a diamond as big as a walnut with a silly puzzle? Besides, all the diamonds of that size in the world are almost as famous as the Koh-i-noor.
"If it is a diamond, it is worth—it is worth—Heaven only knows what it isn't worth if it's a diamond."
"If it's a diamond, it's worth—it’s worth—only Heaven knows what it's not worth if it's a diamond."
I regarded it through a strong pocket lens. As I did so I could not restrain an exclamation.
I looked at it through a powerful pocket lens. As I did, I couldn't hold back an exclamation.
"The world to a China orange, it is a diamond!"
"The world to a China orange, it is a diamond!"
The words had scarcely escaped my lips than there came a tapping at the door.
The words had barely left my lips when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in!" I cried, supposing it was Bob. It was not Bob, it was Pugh. Instinctively I put the lens and the crystal behind my back. At sight of me in my nightshirt Pugh began to shake his head.
"Come in!" I shouted, thinking it was Bob. It wasn't Bob; it was Pugh. Without thinking, I hid the lens and the crystal behind my back. When Pugh saw me in my nightshirt, he started shaking his head.
"What hours, Tress, what hours! Why, my dear Tress, I've breakfasted, read the papers and my letters, came all the way from my house here, and you're not up!"
"What time is it, Tress, what time is it! Honestly, my dear Tress, I've had breakfast, read the news and my letters, traveled all the way from my house, and you're still not awake!"
"Don't I look as though I were up?"
"Don't I look like I'm awake?"
"Ah, Tress! Tress!" He approached the dressing-table. His eye fell upon the ruins. "What's this?"
"Hey, Tress! Tress!" He walked over to the dressing table. His gaze landed on the mess. "What’s this?"
"That's the solution to the puzzle."
"That's the answer to the puzzle."
"Have you—have you solved it fairly, Tress?"
"Have you—have you figured it out fairly, Tress?"
"It has solved itself. Our handling, and tapping, and hammering must have freed the springs which the box contained, and during the night, while I slept, they have caused it to come open."
"It has fixed itself. Our handling, tapping, and hammering must have released the springs inside the box, and while I slept last night, they caused it to open."
"While you slept? Dear me! How strange! And—what are these?"
"While you were sleeping? Oh my! How odd! And—what are these?"
He had discovered the two upright wires on which the crystal had been poised.
He had found the two vertical wires that the crystal had been resting on.
"I suppose they're part of the puzzle."
"I guess they're part of the puzzle."
"And was there anything in the box? What's this?" He picked up the scrap of paper; I had left it on the table. He read what was written on it: "'A Present For You.' What's it mean? Tress, was this in the box?"
"And was there anything in the box? What's this?" He picked up the scrap of paper I had left on the table. He read what was written on it: "'A Present For You.' What does it mean? Tress, was this in the box?"
"It was."
"It was."
"What's it mean about a present? Was there anything in the box besides?"
"What's the deal with the present? Was there anything else in the box?"
"Pugh, if you will leave the room I shall be able to dress; I am not in the habit of receiving quite such early calls, or I should have been prepared to receive you. If you will wait in the next room, I will be with you as soon as I'm dressed. There is a little subject in connection with the box which I wish to discuss with you."
"Pugh, if you could step out of the room, I can get dressed. I'm not used to getting visitors this early, or I would have been ready for you. If you could wait in the next room, I'll join you as soon as I'm dressed. There's a small matter related to the box that I want to discuss with you."
"A subject in connection with the box? What is the subject?"
"A topic related to the box? What’s the topic?"
"I will tell you, Pugh, when I have performed my toilet."
"I'll let you know, Pugh, when I've gotten ready."
"Why can't you tell me now?"
"Why can't you tell me now?"
"Do you propose, then, that I should stand here shivering in my shirt while you are prosing at your ease? Thank you; I am obliged, but I decline. May I ask you once more, Pugh, to wait for me in the adjoining apartment?"
"Are you suggesting that I should just stand here shivering in my shirt while you casually talk? No thanks; I appreciate it, but I'll pass. Can I ask you again, Pugh, to wait for me in the next room?"
He moved toward the door. When he had taken a couple of steps, he halted.
He walked toward the door. After taking a couple of steps, he stopped.
"I—I hope, Tress, that you're—you're going to play no tricks on me?"
"I—I hope, Tress, that you're not going to pull any tricks on me?"
"Tricks on you! Is it likely that I am going to play tricks upon my oldest friend?"
"Gotcha! Am I really going to pull tricks on my oldest friend?"
When he had gone—he vanished, it seemed to me, with a somewhat doubtful visage—I took the crystal to the window. I drew the blind. I let the sunshine fall on it. I examined it again, closely and minutely, with the aid of my pocket lens. It was a diamond; there could not be a doubt of it. If, with my knowledge of stones, I was deceived, then I was deceived as never man had been deceived before. My heart beat faster as I recognized the fact that I was holding in my hand what was, in all probability, a fortune for a man of moderate desires. Of course, Pugh knew nothing of what I had discovered, and there was no reason why he should know. Not the least! The only difficulty was that if I kept my own counsel, and sold the stone and utilized the proceeds of the sale, I should have to invent a story which would account for my sudden accession to fortune. Pugh knows almost as much of my affairs as I do myself. That is the worst of these old friends!
When he left—he disappeared, it felt to me, with a somewhat uncertain expression—I took the crystal to the window. I pulled the blind aside. I let the sunlight shine on it. I looked at it again, closely and carefully, with the help of my pocket lens. It was a diamond; there was no doubt about it. If, with my knowledge of stones, I was mistaken, then I was mistaken like no one ever had been before. My heart raced as I realized that I was holding in my hand what was, probably, a fortune for someone with modest desires. Of course, Pugh didn’t know anything about what I had found, and there was no reason for him to know. Not at all! The only problem was that if I stayed quiet, sold the stone, and used the money from the sale, I would need to come up with a story to explain my sudden wealth. Pugh knows almost as much about my life as I do. That’s the downside of having old friends!
When I joined Pugh I found him dancing up and down the floor like a bear upon hot plates. He scarcely allowed me to put my nose inside the door before attacking me.
When I joined Pugh, I found him dancing around the floor like a bear on hot coals. He barely let me get my foot in the door before jumping right into it.
"Tress, give me what was in the box."
"Tress, give me what was in the box."
"My dear Pugh, how do you know that there was something in the box to give you?"
"My dear Pugh, how do you know there was something in the box for you?"
"I know there was!"
"I knew there was!"
"Indeed! If you know that there was something in the box, perhaps you will tell me what that something was."
"Definitely! If you know that there was something in the box, maybe you'll tell me what it was."
He eyed me doubtfully. Then, advancing, he laid upon my arm a hand which positively trembled.
He looked at me with uncertainty. Then, stepping closer, he placed a hand on my arm that was actually shaking.
"Tress, you—you wouldn't play tricks on an old friend."
"Tress, you—you wouldn't pull any tricks on an old friend."
"You are right, Pugh, I wouldn't, though I believe there have been occasions on which you have had doubts upon the subject. By the way, Pugh, I believe that I am the oldest friend you have."
"You’re right, Pugh, I wouldn’t, although I think there have been times when you had doubts about it. By the way, Pugh, I believe I’m your oldest friend."
"I—I don't know about that. There's—there's Brasher."
"I—I don't know about that. There’s—there’s Brasher."
"Brasher! Who's Brasher? You wouldn't compare my friendship to the friendship of such a man as Brasher? Think of the tastes we have in common, you and I. We're both collectors."
"Brasher! Who's Brasher? You wouldn't compare my friendship to someone like Brasher, would you? Consider the interests we share, you and I. We're both collectors."
"Ye-es, we're both collectors."
"Yeah, we're both collectors."
"I make my interests yours, and you make your interests mine. Isn't that so, Pugh?"
"I share my interests with you, and you share your interests with me. Isn't that right, Pugh?"
"Tress, what—what was in the box?"
"Tress, what was in the box?"
"I will be frank with you, Pugh. If there had been something in the box, would you have been willing to go halves with me in my discovery?"
"I'll be honest with you, Pugh. If there had been something in the box, would you have been okay with splitting my discovery with me?"
"Go halves! In your discovery, Tress! Give me what is mine!"
"Let's split it! In your find, Tress! Give me what belongs to me!"
"With pleasure, Pugh, if you will tell me what is yours."
"Of course, Pugh, if you let me know what belongs to you."
"If—if you don't give me what was in the box I'll—I'll send for the police."
"If you don’t give me what was in the box, I’ll call the police."
"Do! Then I shall be able to hand to them what was in the box in order that it may be restored to its proper owner."
"Do it! Then I can give them what was in the box so it can be returned to its rightful owner."
"Its proper owner! I'm its proper owner!"
"I'm its rightful owner! I'm its rightful owner!"
"Excuse me, but I don't understand how that can be; at least, until the police have made inquiries. I should say that the proper owner was the person from whom you purchased the box, or, more probably, the person from whom he purchased it, and by whom, doubtless, it was sold in ignorance, or by mistake. Thus, Pugh, if you will only send for the police, we shall earn the gratitude of a person of whom we never heard in our lives—I for discovering the contents of the box, and you for returning them."
"Excuse me, but I don't get how that can be the case; at least not until the police have looked into it. I should point out that the rightful owner was probably the person you bought the box from, or even more likely, the person they bought it from, who likely sold it unknowingly or by mistake. So, Pugh, if you could just call the police, we’ll earn the gratitude of someone we’ve never heard of before—I for uncovering what was inside the box, and you for giving it back."
As I said this, Pugh's face was a study. He gasped for breath. He actually took out his handkerchief to wipe his brow.
As I said this, Pugh's expression was revealing. He gasped for air. He even took out his handkerchief to wipe his forehead.
"Tress, I—I don't think you need to use a tone like that to me. It isn't friendly. What—what was in the box?"
"Tress, I—I don't think you need to talk to me like that. It isn't friendly. What—what was in the box?"
"Let us understand each other, Pugh. If you don't hand over what was in the box to the police, I go halves."
"Let’s be clear, Pugh. If you don’t give what was in the box to the police, I’m taking half."
Pugh began to dance about the floor.
Pugh started dancing around the floor.
"What a fool I was to trust you with the box! I knew I couldn't trust you." I said nothing. I turned and rang the bell. "What's that for?"
"What a fool I was to trust you with the box! I knew I couldn't trust you." I said nothing. I turned and rang the bell. "What's that for?"
"That, my dear Pugh, is for breakfast, and, if you desire it, for the police. You know, although you have breakfasted, I haven't. Perhaps while I am breaking my fast, you would like to summon the representatives of law and order." Bob came in. I ordered breakfast. Then I turned to Pugh. "Is there anything you would like?"
"That, my dear Pugh, is for breakfast, and if you want it, for the police. You know, even though you've had breakfast, I haven’t. Maybe while I eat, you’d like to call the representatives of law and order." Bob came in. I ordered breakfast. Then I turned to Pugh. "Is there anything you’d like?"
"No, I—I've breakfasted."
"No, I—I've had breakfast."
"It wasn't of breakfast I was thinking. It was of—something else. Bob is at your service, if, for instance, you wish to send him on an errand."
"It wasn't breakfast I was thinking about. It was something else. Bob is available if you want to send him on an errand."
"No, I want nothing. Bob can go." Bob went. Directly he was gone, Pugh turned to me. "You shall have half. What was in the box?"
"No, I don’t want anything. Bob can leave." Bob left. As soon as he was gone, Pugh turned to me. "You’ll get half. What was in the box?"
"I shall have half?"
"Can I have half?"
"You shall!"
"You will!"
"I don't think it is necessary that the terms of our little understanding should be expressly embodied in black and white. I fancy that, under the circumstance, I can trust you, Pugh. I believe that I am capable of seeing that, in this matter, you don't do me. That was in the box."
"I don’t think it’s necessary for the terms of our little agreement to be written down. I feel like, given the situation, I can trust you, Pugh. I believe I can tell that, in this matter, you won’t let me down. That was in the box."
I held out the crystal between my finger and thumb.
I held the crystal between my fingers and thumb.
"What is it?"
"What's that?"
"That is what I desire to learn."
"That's what I want to learn."
"Let me look at it."
"Let me take a look."
"You are welcome to look at it where it is. Look at it as long as you like, and as closely."
"You’re free to check it out where it is. Take your time and examine it as closely as you want."
Pugh leaned over my hand. His eyes began to gleam. He is himself not a bad judge of precious stones, is Pugh.
Pugh leaned over my hand. His eyes started to sparkle. Pugh actually knows a thing or two about precious stones.
"It's—it's—Tress!—is it a diamond?"
"It's—it's—Tress!—is it a diamond?"
"That question I have already asked myself."
"That question I've already asked myself."
"Let me look at it! It will be safe with me! It's mine!"
"Let me see it! It'll be safe with me! It's mine!"
I immediately put the thing behind my back.
I quickly hid it behind my back.
"Pardon me, it belongs neither to you nor to me. It belongs, in all probability, to the person who sold that puzzle to the man from whom you bought it—perhaps some weeping widow, Pugh, or hopeless orphan—think of it. Let us have no further misunderstanding upon that point, my dear old friend. Still, because you are my dear old friend, I am willing to trust you with this discovery of mine, on condition that you don't attempt to remove it from my sight, and that you return it to me the moment I require you."
"Excuse me, it doesn’t belong to either of us. It likely belongs to the person who sold that puzzle to the guy you bought it from—maybe some crying widow, Pugh, or a helpless orphan—just think about it. Let's not have any more confusion on that issue, my dear old friend. Still, since you are my dear old friend, I’m willing to share this discovery with you, as long as you don’t try to take it out of my sight and that you give it back to me as soon as I ask for it."
"You're—you're very hard on me." I made a movement toward my waistcoat pocket. "I'll return it to you!"
"You're really tough on me." I reached for my waistcoat pocket. "I'll give it back to you!"
I handed him the crystal, and with it I handed him my pocket lens.
I handed him the crystal, and along with it, I also gave him my pocket lens.
"With the aid of that glass I imagine that you will be able to subject it to a more acute examination, Pugh."
"With that glass, I think you’ll be able to take a closer look at it, Pugh."
He began to examine it through the lens. Directly he did so, he gave an exclamation. In a few moments he looked up at me. His eyes were glistening behind his spectacles. I could see he trembled.
He started to look at it through the lens. As soon as he did, he gasped. After a moment, he looked up at me. His eyes were shining behind his glasses. I could see he was shaking.
"Tress, it's—it's a diamond, a Brazil diamond. It's worth a fortune!"
"Tress, it's—a diamond, a Brazilian diamond. It's worth a ton!"
"I'm glad you think so."
"I'm happy you think that."
"Glad I think so! Don't you think that it's a diamond?"
"Glad you think so! Don't you think it's a diamond?"
"It appears to be a diamond. Under ordinary conditions I should say, without hesitation, that it was a diamond. But when I consider the circumstances of its discovery, I am driven to doubts. How much did you give for that puzzle, Pugh?"
"It looks like a diamond. Normally, I'd confidently say it is a diamond. But given the circumstances of how it was found, I have my doubts. How much did you pay for that puzzle, Pugh?"
"Ninepence; the fellow wanted a shilling, but I gave him ninepence. He seemed content."
"Ninepence; the guy wanted a shilling, but I gave him ninepence. He seemed satisfied."
"Ninepence! Does it seem reasonable that we should find a diamond, which, if it is a diamond, is the finest stone I ever saw and handled, in a ninepenny puzzle? It is not as though it had got into the thing by accident, it had evidently been placed there to be found, and, apparently, by anyone who chanced to solve the puzzle; witness the writing on the scrap of paper."
"Ninepence! Does it make sense that we would find a diamond, which, if it really is a diamond, is the best stone I've ever seen and touched, in a ninepenny puzzle? It's not like it just ended up there by accident; it was clearly put there to be discovered, and seemingly, by anyone who happened to solve the puzzle; just look at the writing on the scrap of paper."
Pugh reexamined the crystal.
Pugh reexamined the crystal.
"It is a diamond! I'll stake my life that it's a diamond!"
"It’s a diamond! I'll bet my life that it’s a diamond!"
"Still, though it be a diamond, I smell a rat!"
"Still, even if it's a diamond, I smell something off!"
"What do you mean?"
"What do you mean?"
"I strongly suspect that the person who placed that diamond inside that puzzle intended to have a joke at the expense of the person who discovered it. What was to be the nature of the joke is more than I can say at present, but I should like to have a bet with you that the man who compounded that puzzle was an ingenious practical joker. I may be wrong, Pugh; we shall see. But, until I have proved the contrary, I don't believe that the maddest man that ever lived would throw away a diamond worth, apparently, shall we say a thousand pounds?"
"I really believe that the person who put that diamond in that puzzle meant to play a prank on whoever found it. I can’t say exactly what kind of joke it was intended to be right now, but I’d like to bet you that the guy who created that puzzle was a clever practical joker. I could be wrong, Pugh; we’ll find out. But until I can prove otherwise, I don’t think even the craziest person alive would just toss away a diamond worth, let’s say, a thousand pounds?"
"A thousand pounds! This diamond is worth a good deal more than a thousand pounds."
"A thousand pounds! This diamond is worth way more than a thousand pounds."
"Well, that only makes my case the stronger; I don't believe that the maddest man that ever lived would throw away a diamond worth more than a thousand pounds with such utter wantonness as seems to have characterized the action of the original owner of the stone which I found in your ninepenny puzzle, Pugh."
"Well, that just makes my case stronger; I don't think the craziest person ever would waste a diamond worth more than a thousand pounds so carelessly, as it seems the original owner of the stone I found in your cheap puzzle, Pugh, did."
"There have been some eccentric characters in the world, some very eccentric characters. However, as you say, we shall see. I fancy that I know somebody who would be quite willing to have such a diamond as this, and who, moreover, would be willing to pay a fair price for its possession; I will take it to him and see what he says."
"There have been some quirky people in the world, some really quirky people. But as you said, we’ll see. I think I know someone who would be more than happy to have a diamond like this, and who would also be willing to pay a good price for it; I’ll take it to him and see what he thinks."
"Pugh, hand me back that diamond."
"Pugh, give me that diamond back."
"My dear Tress, I was only going—"
"My dear Tress, I was just going—"
Bob came in with the breakfast tray.
Bob came in with the breakfast tray.
"Pugh, you will either hand me that at once, or Bob shall summon the representatives of law and order."
"Pugh, you will either give that to me right now, or Bob will call the authorities."
He handed me the diamond. I sat down to breakfast with a hearty appetite. Pugh stood and scowled at me.
He handed me the diamond. I sat down to breakfast with a big appetite. Pugh stood and glared at me.
"Joseph Tress, it is my solemn conviction, and I have no hesitation in saying so in plain English, that you're a thief."
"Joseph Tress, I firmly believe, and I'm not afraid to say it clearly, that you're a thief."
"My dear Pugh, it seems to me that we show every promise of becoming a couple of thieves."
"My dear Pugh, it looks like we have every potential to become a couple of thieves."
"Don't bracket me with you!"
"Don't group me with you!"
"Not at all, you are worse than I. It is you who decline to return the contents of the box to its proper owner. Put it to yourself, you have some common sense, my dear old friend!—do you suppose that a diamond worth more than a thousand pounds is to be honestly bought for ninepence?"
"Not at all, you’re worse than I am. You’re the one refusing to return the contents of the box to its rightful owner. Think about it, you have some common sense, my dear old friend!—do you really believe that a diamond worth over a thousand pounds can be honestly bought for ninepence?"
He resumed his old trick of dancing about the room.
He went back to his old habit of dancing around the room.
"I was a fool ever to let you have the box! I ought to have known better than to have trusted you; goodness knows you have given me sufficient cause to mistrust you! Over and over again! Your character is only too notorious! You have plundered friend and foe alike—friend and foe alike! As for the rubbish which you call your collection, nine tenths of it, I know as a positive fact, you have stolen out and out."
"I was a fool to ever let you have the box! I should have known better than to trust you; you’ve given me plenty of reasons to doubt you! Again and again! Your reputation is well-known! You’ve robbed both friends and enemies—friends and enemies! And as for the junk you call your collection, I know for a fact that nine-tenths of it is stolen."
"Who stole my Sir Walter Raleigh pipe? Wasn't it a man named Pugh?"
"Who took my Sir Walter Raleigh pipe? Wasn't it a guy named Pugh?"
"Look here, Joseph Tress!"
"Check this out, Joseph Tress!"
"I'm looking."
"I'm searching."
"Oh, it's no good talking to you, not the least! You're—you're dead to all the promptings of conscience! May I inquire, Mr. Tress, what it is you propose to do?"
"Oh, it's useless talking to you, not at all! You're—you're completely numb to any sense of right and wrong! Can I ask, Mr. Tress, what you plan to do?"
"I propose to do nothing, except summon the representatives of law and order. Failing that, my dear Pugh, I had some faint, vague, very vague idea of taking the contents of your ninepenny puzzle to a certain firm in Hatton Garden, who are dealers in precious stones, and to learn from them if they are disposed to give anything for it, and if so, what."
"I propose to do nothing except call in the representatives of law and order. If that doesn’t work, my dear Pugh, I had a faint, pretty vague idea of taking the pieces of your ninepenny puzzle to a certain shop in Hatton Garden, which deals in precious stones, to see if they might be interested in buying it, and if so, for how much."
"I shall come with you."
"I'll go with you."
"With pleasure, on condition that you pay the cab."
"Sure, as long as you cover the taxi fare."
"I pay the cab! I will pay half."
"I'll cover the cab! I'll pay half."
"Not at all. You will either pay the whole fare, or else I will have one cab and you shall have another. It is a three-shilling cab fare from here to Hatton Garden. If you propose to share my cab, you will be so good as to hand over that three shillings before we start."
"Not at all. You can either pay the full fare, or I'll take one cab and you can take another. It's a three-shilling cab fare from here to Hatton Garden. If you want to share my cab, please hand over that three shillings before we go."
He gasped, but he handed over the three shillings. There are few things I enjoy so much as getting money out of Pugh!
He gasped, but he handed over the three shillings. There are few things I enjoy as much as getting money from Pugh!
On the road to Hatton Garden we wrangled nearly all the way. I own that I feel a certain satisfaction in irritating Pugh, he is such an irritable man. He wanted to know what I thought we should get for the diamond.
On the way to Hatton Garden, we argued almost the entire time. I admit I get a bit of satisfaction from annoying Pugh; he’s such a prickly person. He wanted to know what I thought we should sell the diamond for.
"You can't expect to get much for the contents of a ninepenny puzzle, not even the price of a cab fare, Pugh."
"You can't expect to get much for the contents of a ninepenny puzzle, not even the cost of a cab fare, Pugh."
He eyed me, but for some minutes he was silent. Then he began again.
He looked at me, but for a few minutes, he didn’t say anything. Then he started talking again.
"Tress, I don't think we ought to let it go for less than—than five thousand pounds."
"Tress, I don't think we should settle for anything less than five thousand pounds."
"Seriously, Pugh, I doubt whether, when the whole affair is ended, we shall get five thousand pence for it, or, for the matter of that, five thousand farthings."
"Honestly, Pugh, I doubt that once everything is over, we'll get five thousand pennies for it, or even five thousand quarters for that matter."
"But why not? Why not? It's a magnificent stone—magnificent! I'll stake my life on it."
"But why not? Why not? It's an amazing stone—amazing! I’d bet my life on it."
I tapped my breast with the tips of my fingers.
I touched my chest with the tips of my fingers.
"There's a warning voice within my breast that ought to be in yours, Pugh! Something tells me, perhaps it is the unusually strong vein of common sense which I possess, that the contents of your ninepenny puzzle will be found to be a magnificent do—an ingenious practical joke, my friend."
"There's a warning voice inside me that should be in you, Pugh! Something tells me, maybe it's the unusually strong sense of common sense I have, that the contents of your ninepenny puzzle are going to turn out to be a fantastic scam—an clever practical joke, my friend."
"I don't believe it."
"I can't believe it."
But I think he did; at any rate, I had unsettled the foundations of his faith.
But I think he did; either way, I had shaken the foundations of his faith.
We entered the Hatton Garden office side by side; in his anxiety not to let me get before him, Pugh actually clung to my arm. The office was divided into two parts by a counter which ran from wall to wall. I advanced to a man who stood on the other side of this counter.
We walked into the Hatton Garden office next to each other; in his rush not to let me go ahead, Pugh actually held onto my arm. The office was split into two sections by a counter that stretched from one wall to the other. I went up to a man who was standing on the other side of this counter.
"I want to sell you a diamond."
"I want to sell you a diamond."
"We want to sell you a diamond," interpolated Pugh.
"We want to sell you a diamond," Pugh interrupted.
I turned to Pugh. I "fixed" him with my glance.
I looked at Pugh and locked eyes with him.
"I want to sell you a diamond. Here it is. What will you give me for it?"
"I want to sell you a diamond. Here it is. What will you offer me for it?"
Taking the crystal from my waistcoat pocket I handed it to the man on the other side of the counter. Directly, he got it between his fingers, and saw that it was that he had got, I noticed a sudden gleam come into his eyes.
Taking the crystal from my waistcoat pocket, I handed it to the man on the other side of the counter. As soon as he got it between his fingers and realized what it was, I noticed a sudden gleam in his eyes.
"This is—this is rather a fine stone."
"This is—this is quite a nice stone."
Pugh nudged my arm.
Pugh tapped my arm.
"I told you so." I paid no attention to Pugh. "What will you give me for it?"
"I told you so." I ignored Pugh. "What will you give me for it?"
"Do you mean, what will I give you for it cash down upon the nail?"
"Are you asking what I'll pay you in cash right away?"
"Just so—what will you give me for it cash down upon the nail?"
"Just like that—what will you give me for it in cash right away?"
The man turned the crystal over and over in his fingers.
The man rolled the crystal around in his fingers.
"Well, that's rather a large order. We don't often get a chance of buying such a stone as this across the counter. What do you say to—well—to ten thousand pounds?"
"Well, that's quite a big request. We don't often get the chance to buy a stone like this over the counter. How about—let's say—ten thousand pounds?"
Ten thousand pounds! It was beyond my wildest imaginings. Pugh gasped. He lurched against the counter.
Ten thousand pounds! It was more than I could have ever imagined. Pugh gasped. He stumbled against the counter.
"Ten thousand pounds!" he echoed.
"Ten thousand pounds!" he repeated.
The man on the other side glanced at him, I thought, a little curiously.
The man on the other side looked at him, I thought, maybe a bit curiously.
"If you can give me references, or satisfy me in any way as to your bona fides, I am prepared to give you for this diamond an open check for ten thousand pounds, or if you prefer it, the cash instead."
"If you can provide me with references or prove your bona fides in any way, I'm willing to give you an open check for ten thousand pounds for this diamond, or if you’d rather, I can give you the cash instead."
I stared; I was not accustomed to see business transacted on quite such lines as those.
I stared; I wasn't used to seeing business done like that.
"We'll take it," murmured Pugh; I believe he was too much overcome by his feelings to do more than murmur. I interposed.
"We'll take it," Pugh whispered; I think he was too overwhelmed by his emotions to say anything more. I stepped in.
"My dear sir, you will excuse my saying that you arrive very rapidly at your conclusions. In the first place, how can you make sure that it is a diamond?"
"My dear sir, please pardon me for saying that you jump to conclusions very quickly. First of all, how can you be certain that it’s a diamond?"
The man behind the counter smiled.
The guy behind the counter smiled.
"I should be very ill-fitted for the position which I hold if I could not tell a diamond directly I get a sight of it, especially such a stone as this."
"I would be really unqualified for the job I have if I couldn't identify a diamond as soon as I see it, especially a stone like this."
"But have you no tests you can apply?"
"But don't you have any tests you can use?"
"We have tests which we apply in cases in which doubt exists, but in this case there is no doubt whatever. I am as sure that this is a diamond as I am sure that it is air I breathe. However, here is a test."
"We have tests that we use when there’s uncertainty, but in this case, there’s absolutely no doubt. I’m as certain that this is a diamond as I am that the air I breathe is real. However, here’s a test."
There was a wheel close by the speaker. It was worked by a treadle. It was more like a superior sort of traveling-tinker's grindstone than anything else. The man behind the counter put his foot upon the treadle. The wheel began to revolve. He brought the crystal into contact with the swiftly revolving wheel. There was a s—s—sh! And, in an instant, his hand was empty; the crystal had vanished into air.
There was a wheel nearby the speaker. It was operated by a foot pedal. It resembled a fancy traveling tinker’s grindstone more than anything else. The man behind the counter placed his foot on the pedal. The wheel started to spin. He brought the crystal into contact with the fast-spinning wheel. There was a s—s—sh! And, in a moment, his hand was empty; the crystal had disappeared into thin air.
"Good heavens!" he gasped. I never saw such a look of amazement on a human countenance before. "It's splintered!"
"Wow!" he exclaimed. I've never seen such a look of amazement on someone's face before. "It's broken!"
POSTSCRIPT
It was a diamond, although it had splintered. In that fact lay the point of the joke. The man behind the counter had not been wrong; examination of such dust as could be collected proved that fact beyond a doubt. It was declared by experts that the diamond, at some period of its history, had been subjected to intense and continuing heat. The result had been to make it as brittle as glass.
It was a diamond, even though it had shattered. That was the punchline. The guy at the counter wasn’t mistaken; analyzing the dust that could be gathered confirmed that fact without question. Experts stated that at some point in its past, the diamond had been exposed to extreme and prolonged heat. The outcome was that it became as fragile as glass.
There could be no doubt that its original owner had been an expert too. He knew where he got it from, and he probably knew what it had endured. He was aware that, from a mercantile point of view, it was worthless; it could never have been cut. So, having a turn for humor of a peculiar kind, he had devoted days, and weeks, and possibly months, to the construction of that puzzle. He had placed the diamond inside, and he had enjoyed, in anticipation and in imagination, the Alnaschar visions of the lucky finder.
There’s no doubt that its original owner was an expert as well. He knew where it came from and probably understood what it had been through. He realized that, from a business perspective, it was worthless; it could never have been cut. So, with a peculiar sense of humor, he spent days, weeks, and maybe even months creating that puzzle. He put the diamond inside and delighted in the thought and imagination of the lucky person who would find it.
Pugh blamed me for the catastrophe. He said, and still says, that if I had not, in a measure, and quite gratuitously, insisted on a test, the man behind the counter would have been satisfied with the evidence of his organs of vision, and we should have been richer by ten thousand pounds. But I satisfy my conscience with the reflection that what I did at any rate was honest, though, at the same time, I am perfectly well aware that such a reflection gives Pugh no sort of satisfaction.
Pugh blamed me for the disaster. He said, and still says, that if I hadn't somewhat unnecessarily insisted on a test, the guy behind the counter would have been happy with what he saw, and we would have been ten thousand pounds richer. But I ease my conscience by reminding myself that what I did was honest, even though I know that doesn’t give Pugh any comfort at all.
The Great Valdez Sapphire
I know more about it than anyone else in the world, its present owner not excepted. I can give its whole history, from the Cingalese who found it, the Spanish adventurer who stole it, the cardinal who bought it, the Pope who graciously accepted it, the favored son of the Church who received it, the gay and giddy duchess who pawned it, down to the eminent prelate who now holds it in trust as a family heirloom.
I know more about it than anyone else in the world, including its current owner. I can tell you its entire history, starting with the Cingalese who discovered it, the Spanish adventurer who took it, the cardinal who purchased it, the Pope who graciously accepted it, the favored son of the Church who received it, the lively and carefree duchess who pawned it, all the way to the distinguished prelate who currently holds it as a family heirloom.
It will occupy a chapter to itself in my forthcoming work on "Historic Stones," where full details of its weight, size, color, and value may be found. At present I am going to relate an incident in its history which, for obvious reasons, will not be published—which, in fact, I trust the reader will consider related in strict confidence.
It will have its own chapter in my upcoming book on "Historic Stones," where you can find all the details about its weight, size, color, and value. For now, I'm going to share an incident from its history that, for obvious reasons, won't be published—which I hope the reader will consider confidential.
I had never seen the stone itself when I began to write about it, and it was not till one evening last spring, while staying with my nephew, Sir Thomas Acton, that I came within measurable distance of it. A dinner party was impending, and, at my instigation, the Bishop of Northchurch and Miss Panton, his daughter and heiress, were among the invited guests.
I had never seen the stone itself when I started writing about it, and it wasn't until one evening last spring, while staying with my nephew, Sir Thomas Acton, that I got close to it. A dinner party was coming up, and, at my suggestion, the Bishop of Northchurch and his daughter and heiress, Miss Panton, were among the invited guests.
The dinner was a particularly good one, I remember that distinctly. In fact, I felt myself partly responsible for it, having engaged the new cook—a talented young Italian, pupil of the admirable old chef at my club. We had gone over the menu carefully together, with a result refreshing in its novelty, but not so daring as to disturb the minds of the innocent country guests who were bidden thereto.
The dinner was really great, and I remember it clearly. In fact, I felt partly responsible for it since I had hired the new cook—a talented young Italian who trained under the amazing old chef at my club. We had gone over the menu carefully together, and the outcome was refreshingly new, yet not too bold to unsettle the innocent country guests who were invited.
The first spoonful of soup was reassuring, and I looked to the end of the table to exchange a congratulatory glance with Leta. What was amiss? No response. Her pretty face was flushed, her smile constrained, she was talking with quite unnecessary empressement to her neighbor, Sir Harry Landor, though Leta is one of those few women who understand the importance of letting a man settle down tranquilly and with an undisturbed mind to the business of dining, allowing no topic of serious interest to come on before the relevés, and reserving mere conversational brilliancy for the entremets.
The first spoonful of soup was comforting, and I glanced down the table to share a congratulatory look with Leta. What was wrong? No reaction. Her lovely face was flushed, her smile tense, and she was chatting with unnecessary enthusiasm with her neighbor, Sir Harry Landor, even though Leta is one of those rare women who get the importance of letting a man settle down calmly and with a clear mind to enjoy his meal, keeping any serious topics away until after the main dishes, and saving light conversation for the desserts.
Guests all right? No disappointments? I had gone through the list with her, selecting just the right people to be asked to meet the Landors, our new neighbors. Not a mere cumbrous county gathering, nor yet a showy imported party from town, but a skillful blending of both. Had anything happened already? I had been late for dinner and missed the arrivals in the drawing-room. It was Leta's fault. She has got into a way of coming into my room and putting the last touches to my toilet. I let her, for I am doubtful of myself nowadays after many years' dependence on the best of valets. Her taste is generally beyond dispute, but to-day she had indulged in a feminine vagary that provoked me and made me late for dinner.
Guests all right? No disappointments? I went through the list with her, picking just the right people to invite to meet the Landors, our new neighbors. Not a boring county gathering, nor a flashy party imported from town, but a clever mix of both. Had anything happened already? I was late for dinner and missed the arrivals in the drawing room. It was Leta's fault. She has developed a habit of coming into my room and adding the finishing touches to my outfit. I let her, because I'm unsure of myself these days after relying on the best valets for so many years. Her taste is usually spot on, but today she indulged in a feminine whim that annoyed me and made me late for dinner.
"Are you going to wear your sapphire, Uncle Paul!" she cried in a tone of dismay. "Oh, why not the ruby?"
"Are you really going to wear your sapphire, Uncle Paul?" she exclaimed, sounding upset. "Oh, why not the ruby?"
"You would have your way about the table decorations," I gently reminded her. "With that service of Crown Derby repoussé and orchids, the ruby would look absolutely barbaric. Now if you would have had the Limoges set, white candles, and a yellow silk center—"
"You would insist on your preferences for the table decorations," I gently reminded her. "With that Crown Derby repoussé and orchids, the ruby would look completely out of place. Now if you had chosen the Limoges set, white candles, and a yellow silk centerpiece—"
"Oh, but—I'm so disappointed—I wanted the bishop to see your ruby—or one of your engraved gems—"
"Oh, but—I'm so disappointed—I wanted the bishop to see your ruby—or one of your engraved gems—"
"My dear, it is on the bishop's account I put this on. You know his daughter is heiress of the great Valdez sapphire—"
"My dear, I’m doing this for the bishop. You know his daughter is the heiress of the famous Valdez sapphire—"
"Of course she is, and when he has the charge of a stone three times as big as yours, what's the use of wearing it? The ruby, dear Uncle Paul, please!"
"Of course she is, and when he has a stone that's three times the size of yours, what’s the point of wearing it? The ruby, dear Uncle Paul, please!"
She was desperately in earnest I could see, and considering the obligations which I am supposed to be under to her and Tom, it was but a little matter to yield, but it involved a good deal of extra trouble. Studs, sleeve-links, watch-guard, all carefully selected to go with the sapphire, had to be changed, the emerald which I chose as a compromise requiring more florid accompaniments of a deeper tone of gold; and the dinner hour struck as I replaced my jewel case, the one relic left me of a once handsome fortune, in my fireproof safe.
She was seriously determined, I could tell, and considering the obligations I have to her and Tom, it was a small matter to give in, but it meant a lot of extra hassle. The studs, cufflinks, and watch chain, all carefully chosen to match the sapphire, had to be switched out; the emerald I picked as a compromise needed more elaborate accessories with a richer gold tone. The dinner hour arrived as I put my jewelry box, the only remnant of a once considerable fortune, back in my fireproof safe.
The emerald looked very well that evening, however. I kept my eyes upon it for comfort when Miss Panton proved trying.
The emerald looked really nice that evening, though. I focused on it for comfort when Miss Panton became difficult.
She was a lean, yellow, dictatorial young person with no conversation. I spoke of her father's celebrated sapphires. "My sapphires," she amended sourly; "though I am legally debarred from making any profitable use of them." She furthermore informed me that she viewed them as useless gauds, which ought to be disposed of for the benefit of the heathen. I gave the subject up, and while she discoursed of the work of the Blue Ribbon Army among the Bosjesmans I tried to understand a certain dislocation in the arrangement of the table. Surely we were more or less in number than we should be? Opposite side all right. Who was extra on ours? I leaned forward. Lady Landor on one side of Tom, on the other who? I caught glimpses of plumes pink and green nodding over a dinner plate, and beneath them a pink nose in a green visage with a nutcracker chin altogether unknown to me. A sharp gray eye shot a sideway glance down the table and caught me peeping, and I retreated, having only marked in addition two clawlike hands, with pointed ruffles and a mass of brilliant rings, making good play with a knife and fork. Who was she? At intervals a high acid voice could be heard addressing Tom, and a laugh that made me shudder; it had the quality of the scream of a bird of prey or the yell of a jackal. I had heard that sort of laugh before, and it always made me feel like a defenseless rabbit. Every time it sounded I saw Leta's fan flutter more furiously and her manner grow more nervously animated. Poor dear girl! I never in all my recollection wished a dinner at an end so earnestly so as to assure her of my support and sympathy, though without the faintest conception why either should be required.
She was a thin, yellow, bossy young woman with no conversation. I mentioned her father's famous sapphires. "My sapphires," she corrected sourly; "although I'm legally unable to profit from them." She also told me that she thought of them as useless trinkets that should be sold for the benefit of the less fortunate. I dropped the subject, and while she talked about the work of the Blue Ribbon Army among the Bosjesmans, I tried to figure out a weird arrangement at the table. Weren't we supposed to have a different number of people? The other side was fine. Who was extra on our side? I leaned forward. Lady Landor was on one side of Tom, but who was on the other? I caught glimpses of pink and green feathers swaying over a dinner plate, and beneath them was a pink nose on a green face with an unfamiliar nutcracker chin. A sharp gray eye shot a glance down the table and caught me staring, so I pulled back, having also noticed two claw-like hands with pointed ruffles and lots of flashy rings skillfully using a knife and fork. Who was she? Occasionally, a shrill, harsh voice could be heard addressing Tom, followed by a laugh that sent chills down my spine; it sounded like the scream of a predator bird or the howl of a jackal. I had heard that kind of laugh before, and it always made me feel like a helpless rabbit. Each time it happened, I noticed Leta's fan flapping more wildly and her behavior becoming more nervously energetic. Poor girl! Never in all my memory did I want a dinner to end so badly to assure her of my support and sympathy, even though I had no idea why either was needed.
The ices at last. A menu card folded in two was laid beside me. I read it unobserved. "Keep the B. from joining us in the drawing-room." The B.? The bishop, of course. With pleasure. But why? And how? That's the question, never mind "why." Could I lure him into the library—the billiard room—the conservatory? I doubted it, and I doubted still more what I should do with him when I got him there.
The desserts finally arrived. A menu card folded in half was placed beside me. I read it without anyone noticing. "Make sure the bishop doesn't join us in the living room." The bishop? Of course. I'd be happy to. But why? And how? That’s the real question, forget "why." Could I tempt him into the library—the game room—the conservatory? I wasn't sure, and I was even more uncertain about what to do with him once he was there.
The bishop is a grand and stately ecclesiastic of the mediæval type, broad-chested, deep-voiced, martial of bearing. I could picture him charging mace in hand at the head of his vassals, or delivering over a dissenter of the period to the rack and thumbscrew, but not pottering among rare editions, tall copies and Grolier bindings, nor condescending to a quiet cigar among the tree ferns and orchids. Leta must and should be obeyed, I swore, nevertheless, even if I were driven to lock the door in the fearless old fashion of a bygone day, and declare I'd shoot any man who left while a drop remained in the bottles.
The bishop is a grand and stately church leader from the medieval era, broad-chested, deep-voiced, and commanding in presence. I could imagine him charging into battle with a mace in hand at the front of his followers, or handing over a dissenter of the time to be tortured, but not fussing around with rare books, tall copies, and Grolier bindings, nor casually enjoying a quiet cigar among the tree ferns and orchids. Leta must and should be obeyed, I promised myself, even if I had to lock the door in the old-fashioned way and declare I’d shoot anyone who tried to leave while there was still a drop left in the bottles.
The ladies were rising. The lady at the head of the line smirked and nodded her pink plumes coquettishly at Tom, while her hawk's eyes roved keen and predatory over us all. She stopped suddenly, creating a block and confusion.
The women were getting up. The woman at the front of the line smirked and playfully nodded her pink feathers at Tom, while her sharp, watchful eyes scanned all of us like a predator. She suddenly halted, causing a block and a bit of chaos.
"Ah, the dear bishop! You there, and I never saw you! You must come and have a nice long chat presently. By-by—!" She shook her fan at him over my shoulder and tripped off. Leta, passing me last, gave me a look of profound despair.
"Ah, the dear bishop! You there, and I never noticed you! You have to come and have a nice long talk soon. Bye-bye—!" She waved her fan at him over my shoulder and skipped away. Leta, as she passed me last, gave me a look of deep despair.
"Lady Carwitchet!" somebody exclaimed. "I couldn't believe my eyes."
"Lady Carwitchet!" someone shouted. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing."
"Thought she was dead or in penal servitude. Never should have expected to see her here," said some one else behind me confidentially.
"Thought she was dead or in prison. I never should have expected to see her here," someone said quietly behind me.
"What Carwitchet? Not the mother of the Carwitchet who—"
"What Carwitchet? Not the mother of the Carwitchet who—"
"Just so. The Carwitchet who—" Tom assented with a shrug. "We needn't go farther, as she's my guest. Just my luck. I met them at Buxton, thought them uncommonly good company—in fact, Carwitchet laid me under a great obligation about a horse I was nearly let in for buying—and gave them a general invitation here, as one does, you know. Never expected her to turn up with her luggage this afternoon just before dinner, to stay a week, or a fortnight if Carwitchet can join her." A groan of sympathy ran round the table. "It can't be helped. I've told you this just to show that I shouldn't have asked you here to meet this sort of people of my own free will; but, as it is, please say no more about them." The subject was not dropped by any means, and I took care that it should not be. At our end of the table one story after another went buzzing round—sotto voce, out of deference to Tom—but perfectly audible.
"Exactly. The Carwitchet who—" Tom nodded with a shrug. "We don't need to go any further, since she's my guest. Just my luck. I met them in Buxton, thought they were really great company—in fact, Carwitchet did me a huge favor regarding a horse I almost bought—and I gave them a general invitation to come here, as one does, you know. I never expected her to show up with her luggage this afternoon right before dinner, planning to stay a week or maybe two if Carwitchet can join her." A groan of sympathy went around the table. "It can't be helped. I’m just telling you this to explain that I wouldn’t have invited you here to meet this kind of people on my own accord; but, as it stands, please don’t mention it again." The topic was far from dropped, and I made sure it wouldn’t be. At our end of the table, one story after another buzzed around—sotto voce, out of respect for Tom—but completely audible.
"Carwitchet? Ah, yes. Mixed up in that Rawlings divorce case, wasn't he? A bad lot. Turned out of the Dragoon Guards for cheating at cards, or picking pockets, or something—remember the row at the Cerulean Club? Scandalous exposure—and that forged letter business—oh, that was the mother—prosecution hushed up somehow. Ought to be serving her fourteen years—and that business of poor Farrars, the banker—got hold of some of his secrets and blackmailed him till he blew his brains out—"
"Carwitchet? Oh, right. He was involved in that Rawlings divorce case, wasn’t he? Quite a shady character. He got kicked out of the Dragoon Guards for cheating at cards or pickpocketing, or something like that—remember the drama at the Cerulean Club? A scandalous exposure—and that forged letter incident—oh, that was the worst—somehow the prosecution got it all covered up. He should be serving fourteen years for that—and then there was the situation with poor Farrars, the banker—he managed to get hold of some of Farrars' secrets and blackmailed him until he took his own life—"
It was so exciting that I clean forgot the bishop, till a low gasp at my elbow startled me. He was lying back in his chair, his mighty shaven jowl a ghastly white, his fierce imperious eyebrows drooping limp over his fishlike eyes, his splendid figure shrunk and contracted. He was trying with a shaken hand to pour out wine. The decanter clattered against the glass and the wine spilled on the cloth.
It was so thrilling that I completely forgot about the bishop until a low gasp beside me startled me. He was slumped back in his chair, his large, shaved jaw a ghastly white, his fierce, commanding eyebrows drooping limp over his fish-like eyes, his impressive figure shriveled and shrunken. He was struggling with a shaky hand to pour wine. The decanter clinked against the glass, and the wine spilled onto the tablecloth.
"I'm afraid you find the room too warm. Shall we go into the library?"
"I'm sorry if you think the room is too warm. Should we head to the library?"
He rose hastily and followed me like a lamb.
He quickly got up and followed me like a sheep.
He recovered himself once we got into the hall, and affably rejected all my proffers of brandy and soda—medical advice—everything else my limited experience could suggest. He only demanded his carriage "directly" and that Miss Panton should be summoned forthwith.
He got himself together once we entered the hall and politely declined all my offers of brandy and soda—medical advice—anything else my limited experience could think of. He only insisted on having his carriage "right away" and that Miss Panton be called immediately.
I made the best use I could of the time left me.
I made the best use of the time I had left.
"I'm uncommonly sorry you do not feel equal to staying a little longer, my lord. I counted on showing you my few trifles of precious stones, the salvage from the wreck of my possessions. Nothing in comparison with your own collection."
"I'm really sorry you don't feel up to staying a bit longer, my lord. I was hoping to show you my small collection of precious stones, the remnants from the loss of my belongings. They're nothing compared to your own collection."
The bishop clasped his hand over his heart. His breath came short and quick.
The bishop pressed his hand against his chest. His breathing was fast and shallow.
"A return of that dizziness," he explained with a faint smile. "You are thinking of the Valdez sapphire, are you not? Some day," he went on with forced composure, "I may have the pleasure of showing it to you. It is at my banker's just now."
"A return of that dizziness," he said with a slight smile. "You're thinking about the Valdez sapphire, right? Someday," he continued calmly, "I might have the pleasure of showing it to you. It's at my banker's right now."
Miss Panton's steps were heard in the hall. "You are well known as a connoisseur, Mr. Acton," he went on hurriedly. "Is your collection valuable? If so, keep it safe; don't trust a ring off your hand, or the key of your jewel case out of your pocket till the house is clear again." The words rushed from his lips in an impetuous whisper, he gave me a meaning glance, and departed with his daughter. I went back to the drawing-room, my head swimming with bewilderment.
Miss Panton's footsteps echoed in the hallway. "You’re known for your expertise, Mr. Acton," he continued quickly. "Is your collection valuable? If it is, keep it safe; don’t take a ring off your hand or the key to your jewelry box out of your pocket until the house is clear again." His words spilled out in an urgent whisper, he gave me a significant look, and left with his daughter. I returned to the living room, my head spinning with confusion.
"What! The dear bishop gone!" screamed Lady Carwitchet from the central ottoman where she sat, surrounded by most of the gentlemen, all apparently well entertained by her conversation. "And I wanted to talk over old times with him so badly. His poor wife was my greatest friend. Mira Montanaro, daughter of the great banker, you know. It's not possible that that miserable little prig is my poor Mira's girl. The heiress of all the Montanaros in a black lace gown worth twopence! When I think of her mother's beauty and her toilets! Does she ever wear the sapphires? Has anyone ever seen her in them? Eleven large stones in a lovely antique setting, and the great Valdez sapphire—worth thousands and thousands—for the pendant." No one replied. "I wanted to get a rise out of the bishop to-night. It used to make him so mad when I wore this."
"What! The dear bishop is gone!" screamed Lady Carwitchet from the central ottoman where she sat, surrounded by most of the gentlemen, all apparently enjoying her conversation. "And I was so looking forward to chatting about old times with him. His poor wife was my closest friend. Mira Montanaro, daughter of the great banker, you know. It can’t be true that that miserable little prig is my poor Mira's daughter. The heiress of all the Montanaros in a black lace gown worth next to nothing! When I think of her mother’s beauty and her outfits! Does she ever wear the sapphires? Has anyone even seen her in them? Eleven large stones in a beautiful antique setting, and the famous Valdez sapphire—worth thousands and thousands—for the pendant." No one replied. "I wanted to get a reaction out of the bishop tonight. It used to drive him crazy when I wore this."
She fumbled among the laces at her throat, and clawed out a pendant that hung to a velvet band around her neck. I fairly gasped when she removed her hand. A sapphire of irregular shape flashed out its blue lightning on us. Such a stone! A true, rich, cornflower blue even by that wretched artificial light, with soft velvety depths of color and dazzling clearness of tint in its lights and shades—a stone to remember! I stretched out my hand involuntarily, but Lady Carwitchet drew back with a coquettish squeal. "No! no! You mustn't look any closer. Tell me what you think of it now. Isn't it pretty?"
She fumbled with the laces at her throat and pulled out a pendant that hung from a velvet band around her neck. I couldn't help but gasp when she took her hand away. A sapphire of irregular shape sparkled with its blue brilliance. What a stone! A true, rich, cornflower blue even in that terrible artificial light, with soft velvety depths of color and dazzling clarity in its lights and shades—a stone to remember! I instinctively reached out my hand, but Lady Carwitchet pulled back with a playful squeal. "No! no! You can't look any closer. Tell me what you think of it now. Isn't it pretty?"
"Superb!" was all I could ejaculate, staring at the azure splendor of that miraculous jewel in a sort of trance.
"Awesome!" was all I could say, staring at the stunning blue beauty of that amazing jewel in a kind of trance.
She gave a shrill cackling laugh of mockery.
She let out a loud, mocking laugh.
"The great Mr. Acton taken in by a bit of Palais Royal gimcrackery! What an advertisement for Bogaerts et Cie! They are perfect artists in frauds. Don't you remember their stand at the first Paris Exhibition? They had imitation there of every celebrated stone; but I never expected anything made by man could delude Mr. Acton, never!" And she went off into another mocking cackle, and all the idiots round her haw-hawed knowingly, as if they had seen the joke all along. I was too bewildered to reply, which was on the whole lucky. "I suppose I mustn't tell why I came to give quite a big sum in francs for this?" she went on, tapping her closed lips with her closed fan, and cocking her eye at us all like a parrot wanting to be coaxed to talk. "It's a queer story."
"The great Mr. Acton fooled by some Palais Royal nonsense! What a promotion for Bogaerts et Cie! They’re masters at deception. Don’t you remember their booth at the first Paris Exhibition? They had fake versions of every famous gemstone; but I never thought anything man-made could trick Mr. Acton, never!" And she burst into another mocking laugh, while all the fools around her laughed along knowingly, as if they had understood the joke all along. I was too stunned to respond, which was probably a good thing. "I guess I shouldn’t say why I came to spend quite a large amount in francs for this?" she continued, tapping her closed lips with her closed fan, and glancing at us like a parrot wanting to be encouraged to speak. "It’s a strange story."
I didn't want to hear her anecdote, especially as I saw she wanted to tell it. What I did want was to see that pendant again. She had thrust it back among her laces, only the loop which held it to the velvet being visible. It was set with three small sapphires, and even from a distance I clearly made them out to be imitations, and poor ones. I felt a queer thrill of self-mistrust. Was the large stone no better? Could I, even for an instant, have been dazzled by a sham, and a sham of that quality? The events of the evening had flurried and confused me. I wished to think them over in quiet. I would go to bed.
I didn't want to hear her story, especially since I could tell she wanted to share it. What I really wanted was to see that pendant again. She had shoved it back among her laces, with only the loop attaching it to the velvet showing. It had three small sapphires, and even from a distance, I could clearly tell they were fakes, and cheap ones at that. A strange wave of self-doubt washed over me. Was the large stone any better? Could I, even for a moment, have been fooled by a fake, and one that was obviously poor? The events of the evening had left me flustered and confused. I wanted to think things over in peace. I would go to bed.
My rooms at the Manor are the best in the house. Leta will have it so. I must explain their position for a reason to be understood later. My bedroom is in the southeast angle of the house; it opens on one side into a sitting-room in the east corridor, the rest of which is taken up by the suite of rooms occupied by Tom and Leta; and on the other side into my bathroom, the first room in the south corridor, where the principal guest chambers are, to one of which it was originally the dressing-room. Passing this room I noticed a couple of housemaids preparing it for the night, and discovered with a shiver that Lady Carwitchet was to be my next-door neighbor. It gave me a turn.
My rooms at the Manor are the best in the house. Leta made sure of that. I need to explain their location for a reason you'll understand later. My bedroom is at the southeast corner of the house; it opens on one side into a sitting room in the east corridor, which is mostly taken up by the suite of rooms where Tom and Leta stay, and on the other side into my bathroom, the first room in the south corridor, where the main guest rooms are, and which was originally the dressing room for one of them. As I passed this room, I saw a couple of housemaids getting it ready for the night, and I felt a chill when I realized that Lady Carwitchet would be my next-door neighbor. It surprised me.
The bishop's strange warning must have unnerved me. I was perfectly safe from her ladyship. The disused door into her room was locked, and the key safe on the housekeeper's bunch. It was also undiscoverable on her side, the recess in which it stood being completely filled by a large wardrobe. On my side hung a thick sound-proof portière. Nevertheless, I resolved not to use that room while she inhabited the next one. I removed my possessions, fastened the door of communication with my bedroom, and dragged a heavy ottoman across it.
The bishop's weird warning must have shaken me. I was totally safe from her ladyship. The unused door to her room was locked, and the key was securely held by the housekeeper. It was also impossible to find on her side, as the space where it was kept was completely blocked by a large wardrobe. On my side, there was a thick sound-proof portière. Still, I decided not to use that room while she was in the next one. I took my things out, locked the connecting door to my bedroom, and pushed a heavy ottoman in front of it.
Then I stowed away my emerald in my strong-box. It is built into the wall of my sitting-room, and masked by the lower part of an old carved oak bureau. I put away even the rings I wore habitually, keeping out only an inferior cat's-eye for workaday wear. I had just made all safe when Leta tapped at the door and came in to wish me good night. She looked flushed and harassed and ready to cry. "Uncle Paul," she began, "I want you to go up to town at once, and stay away till I send for you."
Then I put my emerald away in my safe. It's built into the wall of my living room and hidden behind the lower part of an old carved oak desk. I also stored away the rings I usually wore, leaving out only a cheap cat's-eye for everyday use. Just as I finished securing everything, Leta knocked on the door and came in to say good night. She looked flustered and overwhelmed, as if she might cry. "Uncle Paul," she started, "I need you to go to the city right away and stay there until I call for you."
"My dear—!" I was too amazed to expostulate.
"My dear—!" I was too shocked to argue.
"We've got a—a pestilence among us," she declared, her foot tapping the ground angrily, "and the least we can do is to go into quarantine. Oh, I'm so sorry and so ashamed! The poor bishop! I'll take good care that no one else shall meet that woman here. You did your best for me, Uncle Paul, and managed admirably, but it was all no use. I hoped against hope that what between the dusk of the drawing-room before dinner, and being put at opposite ends of the table, we might get through without a meeting—"
"We've got a—they're spreading a disease among us," she said, her foot angrily tapping the ground, "and the least we can do is go into quarantine. Oh, I'm so sorry and so embarrassed! The poor bishop! I'll make sure no one else meets that woman here. You did your best for me, Uncle Paul, and you handled it well, but it was all for nothing. I hoped against hope that with the dim lighting in the drawing-room before dinner and sitting at opposite ends of the table, we could get through it without running into each other—"
"But, my dear, explain. Why shouldn't the bishop and Lady Carwitchet meet? Why is it worse for him than anyone else?"
"But, my dear, explain. Why can't the bishop and Lady Carwitchet meet? Why is it worse for him than for anyone else?"
"Why? I thought everybody had heard of that dreadful wife of his who nearly broke his heart. If he married her for her money it served him right, but Lady Landor says she was very handsome and really in love with him at first. Then Lady Carwitchet got hold of her and led her into all sorts of mischief. She left her husband—he was only a rector with a country living in those days—and went to live in town, got into a horrid fast set, and made herself notorious. You must have heard of her."
"Why? I thought everyone knew about that awful wife of his who almost broke his heart. If he married her for her money, he got what he deserved, but Lady Landor says she was very beautiful and really loved him at first. Then Lady Carwitchet got involved and led her into all kinds of trouble. She left her husband—who was just a rector with a country living back then—and moved to the city, fell in with a terrible crowd, and became infamous. You must have heard of her."
"I heard of her sapphires, my dear. But I was in Brazil at the time."
"I heard about her sapphires, my dear. But I was in Brazil at that time."
"I wish you had been at home. You might have found her out. She was furious because her husband refused to let her wear the great Valdez sapphire. It had been in the Montanaro family for some generations, and her father settled it first on her and then on her little girl—the bishop being trustee. He felt obliged to take away the little girl, and send her off to be brought up by some old aunts in the country, and he locked up the sapphire. Lady Carwitchet tells as a splendid joke how they got the copy made in Paris, and it did just as well for the people to stare at. No wonder the bishop hates the very name of the stone."
"I wish you had been home. You might have discovered what was going on. She was really angry because her husband wouldn't let her wear the Valdez sapphire. It had been in the Montanaro family for generations, and her father first passed it down to her and then to her little girl, with the bishop acting as trustee. He felt he had to take the little girl away and send her to live with some old aunts in the country, and he locked up the sapphire. Lady Carwitchet tells a great story about how they had a copy made in Paris, and it worked just fine for people to look at. No wonder the bishop despises the very name of the stone."
"How long will she stay here?" I asked dismally.
"How long is she going to stay here?" I asked sadly.
"Till Lord Carwitchet can come and escort her to Paris to visit some American friends. Goodness knows when that will be! Do go up to town, Uncle Paul!"
"Until Lord Carwitchet can come and take her to Paris to see some American friends. Who knows when that will be! Please go up to the city, Uncle Paul!"
I refused indignantly. The very least I could do was to stand by my poor young relatives in their troubles and help them through. I did so. I wore that inferior cat's eye for six weeks!
I refused with anger. The least I could do was support my poor young relatives in their struggles and help them get through it. I did just that. I wore that low-quality cat's eye for six weeks!
It is a time I cannot think of even now without a shudder. The more I saw of that terrible old woman the more I detested her, and we saw a very great deal of her. Leta kept her word, and neither accepted nor gave invitations all that time. We were cut off from all society but that of old General Fairford, who would go anywhere and meet anyone to get a rubber after dinner; the doctor, a sporting widower; and the Duberlys, a giddy, rather rackety young, couple who had taken the Dower House for a year. Lady Carwitchet seemed perfectly content. She reveled in the soft living and good fare of the Manor House, the drives in Leta's big barouche, and Domenico's dinners, as one to whom short commons were not unknown. She had a hungry way of grabbing and grasping at everything she could—the shillings she won at whist, the best fruit at dessert, the postage stamps in the library inkstand—that was infinitely suggestive. Sometimes I could have pitied her, she was so greedy, so spiteful, so friendless. She always made me think of some wicked old pirate putting into a peaceful port to provision and repair his battered old hulk, obliged to live on friendly terms with the natives, but his piratical old nostrils asniff for plunder and his piratical old soul longing to be off marauding once more. When would that be? Not till the arrival in Paris of her distinguished American friends, of whom we heard a great deal. "Charming people, the Bokums of Chicago, the American branch of the English Beauchamps, you know!" They seemed to be taking an unconscionable time to get there. She would have insisted on being driven over to Northchurch to call at the palace, but that the bishop was understood to be holding confirmations at the other end of the diocese.
It’s a time I still can’t think of without feeling a shiver. The more I saw of that awful old woman, the more I hated her, and we were around her a lot. Leta kept her promise and didn’t accept or give out any invites during that time. We were isolated from all social life except for old General Fairford, who would go anywhere and meet anyone just to play cards after dinner; the doctor, a sport-loving widower; and the Duberlys, a lively and somewhat chaotic young couple who rented the Dower House for a year. Lady Carwitchet seemed completely satisfied. She enjoyed the comfortable lifestyle and good food at the Manor House, the drives in Leta's fancy carriage, and Domenico's dinners, as if she wasn’t unfamiliar with hard times. She had this desperate way of grabbing everything she could—the coins she won at cards, the best fruit at dessert, the postage stamps in the library inkstand—that was deeply revealing. Sometimes I almost felt sorry for her; she was so greedy, so spiteful, so alone. She always reminded me of a wicked old pirate stopping in a calm port to stock up and fix his worn-out ship, forced to get along with the locals, but his pirate instincts still craving treasure and his soul yearning to start raiding again. When would that happen? Not until her distinguished American friends arrived in Paris, of whom we heard a lot. "Charming people, the Bokums of Chicago, the American branch of the English Beauchamps, you know!" They seemed to be taking forever to get there. She would have insisted on being driven to Northchurch to visit the palace, but it was understood that the bishop was busy with confirmations at the other end of the diocese.
I was alone in the house one afternoon sitting by my window, toying with the key of my safe, and wondering whether I dare treat myself to a peep at my treasures, when a suspicious movement in the park below caught my attention. A black figure certainly dodged from behind one tree to the next, and then into the shadow of the park paling instead of keeping to the footpath. It looked queer. I caught up my field glass and marked him at one point where he was bound to come into the open for a few steps. He crossed the strip of turf with giant strides and got into cover again, but not quick enough to prevent me recognizing him. It was—great heavens!—the bishop! In a soft hat pulled over his forehead, with a long cloak and a big stick, he looked like a poacher.
I was home alone one afternoon, sitting by my window, playing with the key to my safe and wondering if I should treat myself to a peek at my treasures when I noticed something suspicious in the park below. A dark figure quickly moved from behind one tree to another, then slipped into the shadows of the park fence instead of sticking to the path. It seemed odd. I grabbed my binoculars and focused on a spot where he would have to come out into the open for a moment. He crossed the grassy area with long strides and ducked for cover again, but not fast enough for me to miss recognizing him. It was—oh my goodness!—the bishop! In a soft hat pulled down over his forehead, wearing a long cloak and carrying a big stick, he looked like a poacher.
Guided by some mysterious instinct I hurried to meet him. I opened the conservatory door, and in he rushed like a hunted rabbit. Without explanation I led him up the wide staircase to my room, where he dropped into a chair and wiped his face.
Guided by some instinct I couldn't explain, I rushed to meet him. I opened the conservatory door, and he dashed in like a scared rabbit. Without saying a word, I took him up the wide staircase to my room, where he sank into a chair and wiped his face.
"You are astonished, Mr. Acton," he panted. "I will explain directly. Thanks." He tossed off the glass of brandy I had poured out without waiting for the qualifying soda, and looked better.
"You’re surprised, Mr. Acton," he gasped. "Let me explain right away. Thanks." He downed the glass of brandy I had poured without waiting for the soda, and he looked better.
"I am in serious trouble. You can help me. I've had a shock to-day—a grievous shock." He stopped and tried to pull himself together. "I must trust you implicitly, Mr. Acton, I have no choice. Tell me what you think of this." He drew a case from his breast pocket and opened it. "I promised you should see the Valdez sapphire. Look there!"
"I’m in big trouble. You can help me. I had a shock today—a severe shock." He paused and tried to regain his composure. "I have to trust you completely, Mr. Acton; I don’t have a choice. Tell me what you think about this." He took a case out of his jacket pocket and opened it. "I promised you’d see the Valdez sapphire. Look!"
The Valdez sapphire! A great big shining lump of blue crystal—flawless and of perfect color—that was all. I took it up, breathed on it, drew out my magnifier, looked at it in one light and another. What was wrong with it? I could not say. Nine experts out of ten would undoubtedly have pronounced the stone genuine. I, by virtue of some mysterious instinct that has hitherto always guided me aright, was the unlucky tenth. I looked at the bishop. His eyes met mine. There was no need of spoken word between us.
The Valdez sapphire! A huge, shining chunk of blue crystal—flawless and perfectly colored—that was all. I picked it up, breathed on it, took out my magnifier, and examined it in one light and then another. What was wrong with it? I couldn’t say. Nine out of ten experts would surely declare the stone authentic. I, thanks to some mysterious instinct that has always steered me right until now, was the unfortunate tenth. I glanced at the bishop. His eyes locked with mine. There was no need for spoken words between us.
"Has Lady Carwitchet shown you her sapphire?" was his most unexpected question. "She has? Now, Mr. Acton, on your honor as a connoisseur and a gentleman, which of the two is the Valdez?"
"Has Lady Carwitchet shown you her sapphire?" was his most surprising question. "She has? Now, Mr. Acton, on your word as a connoisseur and a gentleman, which of the two is the Valdez?"
"Not this one." I could say naught else.
"Not this one." I couldn't say anything else.
"You were my last hope." He broke off, and dropped his face on his folded arms with a groan that shook the table on which he rested, while I stood dismayed at myself for having let so hasty a judgment escape me. He lifted a ghastly countenance to me. "She vowed she would see me ruined and disgraced. I made her my enemy by crossing some of her schemes once, and she never forgives. She will keep her word. I shall appear before the world as a fraudulent trustee. I can neither produce the valuable confided to my charge nor make the loss good. I have only an incredible story to tell," he dropped his head and groaned again. "Who will believe me?"
"You were my last hope." He stopped speaking and let his face drop onto his folded arms with a groan that shook the table he was resting on, while I stood there, dismayed at myself for allowing such a hasty judgment to slip out. He looked up at me with a pale face. "She swore she would ruin and disgrace me. I made her my enemy by interfering with some of her plans once, and she never forgives. She will keep her promise. I’ll be seen by everyone as a fraudulent trustee. I can’t produce the valuables entrusted to my care nor can I cover the loss. I only have an unbelievable story to tell," he hung his head and groaned again. "Who will believe me?"
"I will, for one."
"I will, for sure."
"Ah, you? Yes, you know her. She took my wife from me, Mr. Acton. Heaven only knows what the hold was that she had over poor Mira. She encouraged her to set me at defiance and eventually to leave me. She was answerable for all the scandalous folly and extravagance of poor Mira's life in Paris—spare me the telling of the story. She left her at last to die alone and uncared for. I reached my wife to find her dying of a fever from which Lady Carwitchet and her crew had fled. She was raving in delirium, and died without recognizing me. Some trouble she had been in which I must never know oppressed her. At the very last she roused from a long stupor and spoke to the nurse. 'Tell him to get the sapphire back—she stole it. She has robbed my child.' Those were her last words. The nurse understood no English, and treated them as wandering; but I heard them, and knew she was sane when she spoke."
"Ah, you? Yes, you know her. She took my wife from me, Mr. Acton. Only God knows what grip she had on poor Mira. She encouraged her to defy me and eventually leave me. She was responsible for all the scandalous behavior and extravagance in poor Mira's life in Paris—spare me the story. In the end, she left her to die alone and uncared for. I arrived to find my wife dying of a fever that Lady Carwitchet and her group had abandoned. She was raving in delirium and died without recognizing me. There was some trouble she had been through that I must never know about that weighed on her. Just before the end, she came out of a long stupor and spoke to the nurse. 'Tell him to get the sapphire back—she stole it. She has robbed my child.' Those were her last words. The nurse didn’t understand any English and thought it was just rambling; but I heard her, and I knew she was sane when she said it."
"What did you do?"
"What did you do?"
"What could I? I saw Lady Carwitchet, who laughed at me, and defied me to make her confess or disgorge. I took the pendant to more than one eminent jeweler on pretense of having the setting seen to, and all have examined and admired without giving a hint of there being anything wrong. I allowed a celebrated mineralogist to see it; he gave no sign—"
"What could I do? I saw Lady Carwitchet, who laughed at me and dared me to make her confess or spill the truth. I took the pendant to several well-known jewelers under the pretense of needing the setting repaired, and they all examined and admired it without suggesting there was anything wrong. I even let a famous mineralogist take a look; he didn't give any indication..."
"Perhaps they are right and we are wrong."
"Maybe they're right and we're wrong."
"No, no. Listen. I heard of an old Dutchman celebrated for his imitations. I went to him, and he told me at once that he had been allowed by Montanaro to copy the Valdez—setting and all—for the Paris Exhibition. I showed him this, and he claimed it for his own work at once, and pointed out his private mark upon it. You must take your magnifier to find it; a Greek Beta. He also told me that he had sold it to Lady Carwitchet more than a year ago."
"No, no. Listen. I heard about an old Dutch guy known for his imitations. I went to see him, and he immediately told me that Montanaro had let him copy the Valdez—setting and all—for the Paris Exhibition. I showed him this, and he immediately claimed it as his own work and pointed out his private mark on it. You have to use a magnifying glass to find it; a Greek Beta. He also mentioned that he sold it to Lady Carwitchet over a year ago."
"It is a terrible position."
"It's a terrible situation."
"It is. My co-trustee died lately. I have never dared to have another appointed. I am bound to hand over the sapphire to my daughter on her marriage, if her husband consents to take the name of Montanaro."
"It is. My co-trustee passed away recently. I’ve never had the courage to appoint another. I’m required to give the sapphire to my daughter when she gets married, if her husband agrees to take the Montanaro name."
The bishop's face was ghastly pale, and the moisture started on his brow. I racked my brain for some word of comfort.
The bishop's face was deathly pale, and sweat began to form on his forehead. I searched my mind for some comforting words.
"Miss Panton may never marry."
"Miss Panton might never marry."
"But she will!" he shouted. "That is the blow that has been dealt me to-day. My chaplain—actually, my chaplain—tells me that he is going out as a temperance missionary to equatorial Africa, and has the assurance to add that he believes my daughter is not indisposed to accompany him!" His consummating wrath acted as a momentary stimulant. He sat upright, his eyes flashing and his brow thunderous. I felt for that chaplain. Then he collapsed miserably. "The sapphires will have to be produced, identified, revalued. How shall I come out of it? Think of the disgrace, the ripping up of old scandals! Even if I were to compound with Lady Carwitchet, the sum she hinted at was too monstrous. She wants more than my money. Help me, Mr. Acton! For the sake of your own family interests, help me!"
"But she will!" he shouted. "That’s the blow I’ve received today. My chaplain—can you believe it, my chaplain—just told me he’s going out as a temperance missionary to equatorial Africa, and he has the nerve to say he thinks my daughter might want to go with him!" His overwhelming anger was like a short-lived burst of energy. He sat up straight, his eyes blazing and his expression fierce. I felt sorry for that chaplain. Then he fell back into despair. "The sapphires will need to be found, identified, and revalued. How will I survive this? Just think of the shame, the resurfacing of old scandals! Even if I tried to negotiate with Lady Carwitchet, the amount she hinted at was outrageous. She wants more than just my money. Help me, Mr. Acton! For the sake of your own family’s interests, help me!"
"I beg your pardon—family interests? I don't understand."
"I’m sorry—family interests? I don’t get it."
"If my daughter is childless, her next of kin is poor Marmaduke Panton, who is dying at Cannes, not married, or likely to marry; and failing him, your nephew, Sir Thomas Acton, succeeds."
"If my daughter has no children, her next of kin is poor Marmaduke Panton, who is dying in Cannes, not married and not likely to marry; and if he doesn't make it, your nephew, Sir Thomas Acton, will take over."
My nephew Tom! Leta, or Leta's baby, might come to be the possible inheritor of the great Valdez sapphire! The blood rushed to my head as I looked at the great shining swindle before me. "What diabolic jugglery was at work when the exchange was made?" I demanded fiercely.
My nephew Tom! Leta, or Leta's baby, might become the potential heir to the great Valdez sapphire! My blood rushed to my head as I stared at the huge shining fraud in front of me. "What kind of wicked trickery was going on during that exchange?" I asked angrily.
"It must have been on the last occasion of her wearing the sapphires in London. I ought never to have let her out of my sight."
"It must have been the last time she wore the sapphires in London. I should have never taken my eyes off her."
"You must put a stop to Miss Panton's marriage in the first place," I pronounced as autocratically as he could have done himself.
"You need to put an end to Miss Panton's marriage right away," I declared as authoritatively as he could have himself.
"Not to be thought of," he admitted helplessly. "Mira has my force of character. She knows her rights, and she will have her jewels. I want you to take charge of the—thing for me. If it's in the house she'll make me produce it. She'll inquire at the banker's. If you have it we can gain time, if but for a day or two." He broke off. Carriage wheels were crashing on the gravel outside. We looked at one another in consternation. Flight was imperative. I hurried him downstairs and out of the conservatory just as the door bell rang. I think we both lost our heads in the confusion. He shoved the case into my hands, and I pocketed it, without a thought of the awful responsibility I was incurring, and saw him disappear into the shelter of the friendly night.
"Not even considered," he admitted helplessly. "Mira has my strength of character. She knows her rights, and she will get her jewels. I need you to take charge of the—thing for me. If it's in the house, she'll make me show it. She'll ask at the bank. If you have it, we can buy some time, even if it's just for a day or two." He paused. Carriage wheels were crashing on the gravel outside. We looked at each other in shock. We had to escape. I rushed him downstairs and out of the conservatory just as the doorbell rang. I think we both lost our minds in the chaos. He shoved the case into my hands, and I pocketed it without considering the heavy responsibility I was taking on, and watched him disappear into the safety of the night.
When I think of what my feelings were that evening—of my murderous hatred of that smirking, jesting Jezebel who sat opposite me at dinner, my wrathful indignation at the thought of the poor little expected heir defrauded ere his birth; of the crushing contempt I felt for myself and the bishop as a pair of witless idiots unable to see our way out of the dilemma; all this boiling and surging through my soul, I can only wonder—Domenico having given himself a holiday, and the kitchen maid doing her worst and wickedest—that gout or jaundice did not put an end to this story at once.
When I think about how I felt that evening—my intense hatred for that smirking, mocking woman sitting across from me at dinner, my furious anger at the idea of the poor little expected heir being cheated even before he was born; the deep contempt I felt for myself and the bishop as two clueless fools unable to find a way out of this mess; all of this boiling and churning inside me, I can only wonder—given that Domenico had taken a day off and the kitchen maid was doing the worst of her mischief—how gout or jaundice didn’t immediately put an end to this situation.
"Uncle Paul!" Leta was looking her sweetest when she tripped into my room next morning. "I've news for you. She," pointing a delicate forefinger in the direction of the corridor, "is going! Her Bokums have reached Paris at last, and sent for her to join them at the Grand Hotel."
"Uncle Paul!" Leta looked adorable as she stumbled into my room the next morning. "I have news for you. She," pointing a delicate finger toward the hallway, "is leaving! Her Bokums have finally made it to Paris and sent for her to join them at the Grand Hotel."
I was thunderstruck. The longed-for deliverance had but come to remove hopelessly and forever out of my reach Lady Carwitchet and the great Valdez sapphire.
I was completely stunned. The long-awaited escape had only served to take Lady Carwitchet and the magnificent Valdez sapphire hopelessly and permanently out of my reach.
"Why, aren't you overjoyed? I am. We are going to celebrate the event by a dinner party. Tom's hospitable soul is vexed by the lack of entertainment we had provided her. We must ask the Brownleys some day or other, and they will be delighted to meet anything in the way of a ladyship, or such smart folks as the Duberly-Parkers. Then we may as well have the Blomfields, and air that awful modern Sèvres dessert service she gave us when we were married." I had no objection to make, and she went on, rubbing her soft cheek against my shoulder like the purring little cat she was: "Now I want you to do something to please me—and Mrs. Blomfield. She has set her heart on seeing your rubies, and though I know you hate her about as much as you do that Sèvres china—"
"Why aren't you thrilled? I am. We’re going to celebrate with a dinner party. Tom’s generous spirit is upset by the lack of entertainment we’ve been providing her. We really should invite the Brownleys sometime, and they’ll be excited to meet anyone with a title, or people as classy as the Duberly-Parkers. We might as well include the Blomfields and show off that awful modern Sèvres dessert set she gave us when we got married." I didn’t have any objections, and she kept going, rubbing her soft cheek against my shoulder like the little purring cat she was: "Now, I want you to do something to make me happy—and Mrs. Blomfield. She’s really eager to see your rubies, and even though I know you dislike her just as much as that Sèvres china—"
"What! Wear my rubies with that! I won't. I'll tell you what I will do, though. I've got some carbuncles as big as prize gooseberries, a whole set. Then you have only to put those Bohemian glass vases and candelabra on the table, and let your gardener do his worst with his great forced, scentless, vulgar blooms, and we shall all be in keeping." Leta pouted. An idea struck me. "Or I'll do as you wish, on one condition. You get Lady Carwitchet to wear her big sapphire, and don't tell her I wish it."
"What! Wear my rubies with that! No way. But here’s what I will do: I’ve got some carbuncles as big as prize gooseberries, a whole set. So just put those Bohemian glass vases and candelabra on the table, and let your gardener go wild with his big forced, scentless, tacky blooms, and we’ll all be on the same page." Leta pouted. Then an idea hit me. "Or I’ll do what you want, but only if you get Lady Carwitchet to wear her big sapphire and don’t tell her I asked."
I lived through the next few days as one in some evil dream. The sapphires, like twin specters, haunted me day and night. Was ever man so tantalized? To hold the shadow and see the substance dangled temptingly within reach. The bishop made no sign of ridding me of my unwelcome charge, and the thought of what might happen in a case of burglary—fire—earthquake—made me start and tremble at all sorts of inopportune moments.
I went through the next few days as if I were stuck in a bad dream. The sapphires, like two ghosts, haunted me day and night. Has anyone ever been so tormented? To grasp at a shadow while the real thing dangled enticingly just out of reach. The bishop showed no sign of freeing me from this unwanted burden, and the thought of what could happen in case of a burglary, fire, or earthquake made me jump and shake at the most inconvenient times.
I kept faith with Leta, and reluctantly produced my beautiful rubies on the night of her dinner party. Emerging from my room I came full upon Lady Carwitchet in the corridor. She was dressed for dinner, and at her throat I caught the blue gleam of the great sapphire. Leta had kept faith with me. I don't know what I stammered in reply to her ladyship's remarks; my whole soul was absorbed in the contemplation of the intoxicating loveliness of the gem. That a Palais Royal deception! Incredible! My fingers twitched, my breath came short and fierce with the lust of possession. She must have seen the covetous glare in my eyes. A look of gratified spiteful complacency overspread her features, as she swept on ahead and descended the stairs before me. I followed her to the drawing-room door. She stopped suddenly, and murmuring something unintelligible hurried back again.
I stayed true to my promise to Leta and reluctantly took out my beautiful rubies for her dinner party. As I left my room, I bumped into Lady Carwitchet in the hallway. She was dressed for dinner, and I noticed the blue sparkle of her huge sapphire. Leta had kept her word to me. I don’t even know what I mumbled in response to her comments; I was completely taken in by the breathtaking beauty of the gem. That was a Palais Royal fake! Unbelievable! My fingers twitched, and my breath quickened with desire to have it. She must have seen the greedy look in my eyes. A smirk of pleased malice crossed her face as she walked ahead and went down the stairs before me. I followed her to the drawing-room door. She suddenly stopped, muttered something I couldn’t catch, and hurried back.
Everybody was assembled there that I expected to see, with an addition. Not a welcome one by the look on Tom's face. He stood on the hearthrug conversing with a great hulking, high-shouldered fellow, sallow-faced, with a heavy mustache and drooping eyelids, from the corners of which flashed out a sudden suspicious look as I approached, which lighted up into a greedy one as it rested on my rubies, and seemed unaccountably familiar to me, till Lady Carwitchet tripping past me exclaimed:
Everyone I expected to see was there, plus one unexpected addition. It wasn't a welcome addition judging by the look on Tom's face. He was standing on the hearthrug chatting with a big, broad-shouldered guy, who had a sickly complexion, a thick mustache, and droopy eyelids. As I got closer, his eyelids shot open with a suspicious look that turned greedy when they landed on my rubies. There was something oddly familiar about him until Lady Carwitchet walked by and exclaimed:
"He has come at last! My naughty, naughty boy! Mr. Acton, this is my son, Lord Carwitchet!"
"He’s finally here! My mischievous, mischievous boy! Mr. Acton, this is my son, Lord Carwitchet!"
I broke off short in the midst of my polite acknowledgments to stare blankly at her. The sapphire was gone! A great gilt cross, with a Scotch pebble like an acid drop, was her sole decoration.
I stopped abruptly in the middle of my polite thanks to stare at her in disbelief. The sapphire was gone! The only thing she had left was a big gold cross, with a Scottish pebble that looked like a sour candy.
"I had to put my pendant away," she explained confidentially; "the clasp had got broken somehow." I didn't believe a word.
"I had to put my pendant away," she explained quietly; "the clasp broke somehow." I didn't believe a word.
Lord Carwitchet contributed little to the general entertainment at dinner, but fell into confidential talk with Mrs. Duberly-Parker. I caught a few unintelligible remarks across the table. They referred, I subsequently discovered, to the lady's little book on Northchurch races, and I recollected that the Spring Meeting was on, and to-morrow "Cup Day." After dinner there was great talk about getting up a party to go on General Fairford's drag. Lady Carwitchet was in ecstasies and tried to coax me into joining. Leta declined positively. Tom accepted sulkily.
Lord Carwitchet didn't add much to the dinner's entertainment but engaged in a private conversation with Mrs. Duberly-Parker. I overheard a few unclear comments across the table. They turned out to be about her little book on the Northchurch races, and I remembered that the Spring Meeting was happening, with "Cup Day" tomorrow. After dinner, there was a lot of chatter about organizing a group to go on General Fairford's carriage. Lady Carwitchet was thrilled and tried to convince me to join. Leta firmly declined. Tom agreed reluctantly.
The look in Lord Carwitchet's eye returned to my mind as I locked up my rubies that night. It made him look so like his mother! I went round my fastenings with unusual care. Safe and closets and desk and doors, I tried them all. Coming at last to the bathroom, it opened at once. It was the housemaid's doing. She had evidently taken advantage of my having abandoned the room to give it "a thorough spring cleaning," and I anathematized her. The furniture was all piled together and veiled with sheets, the carpet and felt curtain were gone, there were new brooms about. As I peered around, a voice close at my ear made me jump—Lady Carwitchet's!
The look in Lord Carwitchet's eye came back to me as I locked up my rubies that night. He looked so much like his mother! I went through my locks with extra care. I checked the safe, the closets, the desk, and the doors—all of them. Finally, I reached the bathroom, and it opened right away. It was the housemaid's doing. She had clearly taken advantage of my leaving the room to give it "a thorough spring cleaning," and I cursed her for it. The furniture was all stacked together and covered with sheets, the carpet and felt curtain were missing, and there were new brooms everywhere. As I looked around, a voice right next to my ear startled me—it was Lady Carwitchet's!
"I tell you I have nothing, not a penny! I shall have to borrow my train fare before I can leave this. They'll be glad enough to lend it."
"I’m telling you, I have nothing, not a cent! I’ll have to borrow my train fare before I can leave here. They’ll be more than happy to lend it."
Not only had the portière been removed, but the door behind it had been unlocked and left open for convenience of dusting behind the wardrobe. I might as well have been in the bedroom.
Not only had the curtain been taken down, but the door behind it had been unlocked and left open for the sake of dusting behind the wardrobe. I might as well have been in the bedroom.
"Don't tell me," I recognized Carwitchet's growl. "You've not been here all this time for nothing. You've been collecting for a Kilburn cot or getting subscriptions for the distressed Irish landlords. I know you. Now I'm not going to see myself ruined for the want of a paltry hundred or so. I tell you the colt is a dead certainty. If I could have got a thousand or two on him last week, we might have ended our dog days millionaires. Hand over what you can. You've money's worth, if not money. Where's that sapphire you stole?"
"Don't even try to pretend," I recognized Carwitchet's growl. "You haven't been here this whole time for no reason. You've been either gathering funds for a Kilburn crib or collecting donations for the struggling Irish landlords. I know you too well. I refuse to let myself be ruined over a measly hundred or so. I'm telling you, the colt is a sure thing. If I could have secured a thousand or two on him last week, we could have wrapped up our rough patch as millionaires. Just give me what you can. You have value, if not cash. Where's that sapphire you took?"
"I didn't. I can show you the receipted bill. All I possess is honestly come by. What could you do with it, even if I gave it you? You couldn't sell it as the Valdez, and you can't get it cut up as you might if it were real."
"I didn't. I can show you the paid bill. Everything I have is earned honestly. What would you do with it, even if I gave it to you? You couldn't sell it like the Valdez, and you can't get it divided up like you would if it were real."
"If it's only bogus, why are you always in such a flutter about it? I'll do something with it, never fear. Hand over."
"If it's just nonsense, why do you always get so worked up about it? I'll take care of it, don't worry. Just give it to me."
"I can't. I haven't got it. I had to raise something on it before I left town."
"I can't. I don't have it. I had to deal with something before I left town."
"Will you swear it's not in that wardrobe? I dare say you will. I mean to see. Give me those keys."
"Will you promise it's not in that wardrobe? I bet you will. I want to see. Give me those keys."
I heard a struggle and a jingle, then the wardrobe door must have been flung open, for a streak of light struck through a crack in the wood of the back. Creeping close and peeping through, I could see an awful sight. Lady Carwitchet in a flannel wrapper, minus hair, teeth, complexion, pointing a skinny forefinger that quivered with rage at her son, who was out of the range of my vision.
I heard a struggle and a jingle, then the wardrobe door must have been flung open, because a streak of light came through a crack in the wood at the back. I crept closer and peeked through, and what I saw was horrifying. Lady Carwitchet in a flannel robe, with no hair, teeth, or color in her face, pointing a bony finger that shook with anger at her son, who was out of my line of sight.
"Stop that, and throw those keys down here directly, or I'll rouse the house. Sir Thomas is a magistrate, and will lock you up as soon as look at you." She clutched at the bell rope as she spoke. "I'll swear I'm in danger of my life from you and give you in charge. Yes, and when you're in prison I'll keep you there till you die. I've often thought I'd do it. How about the hotel robberies last summer at Cowes, eh? Mightn't the police be grateful for a hint or two? And how about—"
"Cut it out and throw those keys down here now, or I'll wake everyone up. Sir Thomas is a magistrate and can have you locked up in a heartbeat." She grabbed the bell rope as she spoke. "I’ll swear I'm worried for my life because of you and report you. Yes, and once you're in prison, I’ll make sure you stay there until you die. I've thought about doing it before. What about the hotel robberies last summer at Cowes, huh? Don’t you think the police would appreciate a tip or two? And what about—"
The keys fell with a crash on the bed, accompanied by some bad language in an apologetic tone, and the door slammed to. I crept trembling to bed.
The keys dropped loudly onto the bed, along with some swearing in a guilty tone, and the door slammed shut. I quietly crept to bed, shaking.
This new and horrible complication of the situation filled me with dismay. Lord Carwitchet's wolfish glance at my rubies took a new meaning. They were safe enough, I believed—but the sapphire! If he disbelieved his mother, how long would she be able to keep it from his clutches? That she had some plot of her own of which the bishop would eventually be the victim I did not doubt, or why had she not made her bargain with him long ago? But supposing she took fright, lost her head, allowed her son to wrest the jewel from her, or gave consent to its being mutilated, divided! I lay in a cold perspiration till morning.
This new and terrible twist in the situation filled me with dread. Lord Carwitchet's predatory gaze at my rubies took on a different meaning. I thought they were safe enough—but the sapphire! If he didn't believe his mother, how long could she keep it away from him? I had no doubt she had her own scheme that would eventually lead to the bishop's downfall; otherwise, why hadn't she made a deal with him long ago? But what if she got scared, lost her cool, let her son take the jewel from her, or agreed to have it split up or damaged? I lay in a cold sweat until morning.
My terrors haunted me all day. They were with me at breakfast time when Lady Carwitchet, tripping in smiling, made a last attempt to induce me to accompany her and keep her "bad, bad boy" from getting among "those horrid betting men."
My fears chased me all day. They were there at breakfast when Lady Carwitchet, walking in with a smile, made one last effort to persuade me to come with her and keep her "bad, bad boy" away from "those awful betting men."
They haunted me through the long peaceful day with Leta and the tête-à-tête dinner, but they swarmed around and beset me sorest when, sitting alone over my sitting-room fire, I listened for the return of the drag party. I read my newspaper and brewed myself some hot strong drink, but there comes a time of night when no fire can warm and no drink can cheer. The bishop's despairing face kept me company, and his troubles and the wrongs of the future heir took possession of me. Then the uncanny noises that make all old houses ghostly during the small hours began to make themselves heard. Muffled footsteps trod the corridor, stopping to listen at every door, door latches gently clicked, boards creaked unreasonably, sounds of stealthy movements came from the locked-up bathroom. The welcome crash of wheels at last, and the sound of the front-door bell. I could hear Lady Carwitchet making her shrill adieux to her friends and her steps in the corridor. She was softly humming a little song as she approached. I heard her unlock her bedroom door before she entered—an odd thing to do. Tom came sleepily stumbling to his room later. I put my head out. "Where is Lord Carwitchet?"
They haunted me throughout the long, peaceful day with Leta and the tête-à-tête dinner, but they surrounded me and troubled me the most when I was sitting alone by the fire in my living room, waiting for the drag party to return. I read my newspaper and made myself a hot, strong drink, but there comes a point at night when no fire can warm you and no drink can cheer you up. The bishop’s despairing face kept me company, and his troubles along with the issues of the future heir consumed my thoughts. Then the eerie noises that make all old houses feel ghostly in the early hours started to be heard. Muffled footsteps walked down the corridor, stopping to listen at every door, door latches clicked gently, floorboards creaked in a way that made no sense, and I heard stealthy movements coming from the locked bathroom. Finally, the welcome sound of wheels and the front-door bell rang out. I could hear Lady Carwitchet giving her shrill adieux to her friends and moving through the corridor. She was softly humming a little song as she got closer. I heard her unlock her bedroom door before she went in—an odd thing to do. Tom came stumbling to his room later, still half-asleep. I stuck my head out. "Where is Lord Carwitchet?"
"Haven't you seen him? He left us hours ago. Not come home, eh? Well, he's welcome to stay away. I don't want to see more of him." Tom's brow was dark and his voice surly. "I gave him to understand as much." Whatever had happened, Tom was evidently too disgusted to explain just then.
"Haven't you seen him? He left us hours ago. He hasn’t come home, huh? Well, he’s welcome to stay away. I don’t want to see him anymore." Tom’s expression was grim and his tone was grumpy. "I made it clear to him." Whatever happened, Tom clearly didn’t want to explain it at that moment.
I went back to my fire unaccountably relieved, and brewed myself another and a stronger brew. It warmed me this time, but excited me foolishly. There must be some way out of the difficulty. I felt now as if I could almost see it if I gave my mind to it. Why—suppose—there might be no difficulty after all! The bishop was a nervous old gentleman. He might have been mistaken all through, Bogaerts might have been mistaken, I might—no. I could not have been mistaken—or I thought not. I fidgeted and fumed and argued with myself till I found I should have no peace of mind without a look at the stone in my possession, and I actually went to the safe and took the case out.
I returned to my fire surprisingly relieved and made myself another, stronger cup. It warmed me up this time, but made me feel a bit anxious. There had to be a way out of this situation. I felt like I could almost see the solution if I focused on it. What if—maybe there wasn’t any difficulty after all! The bishop was a nervous old guy. He could have been wrong the entire time, Bogaerts could have been wrong, I could—no. I couldn’t have been wrong—or at least, I thought I wasn’t. I fidgeted and argued with myself until I realized I wouldn’t find any peace of mind without checking the stone I had, so I actually went to the safe and took the case out.
The sapphire certainly looked different by lamplight. I sat and stared, and all but overpersuaded my better judgment into giving it a verdict. Bogaerts's mark—I suddenly remembered it. I took my magnifier and held the pendant to the light. There, scratched upon the stone, was the Greek Beta! There came a tap on my door, and before I could answer, the handle turned softly and Lord Carwitchet stood before me. I whipped the case into my dressing-gown pocket and stared at him. He was not pleasant to look at, especially at that time of night. He had a disheveled, desperate air, his voice was hoarse, his red-rimmed eyes wild.
The sapphire definitely looked different in the lamplight. I sat and stared, nearly convincing myself to make a call on it. Bogaerts's mark—I suddenly remembered that. I grabbed my magnifying glass and held the pendant up to the light. There, scratched into the stone, was the Greek Beta! Just then, I heard a knock on my door, and before I could respond, the handle turned gently and Lord Carwitchet appeared in front of me. I quickly shoved the case into my dressing gown pocket and stared at him. He wasn’t pleasant to look at, especially at that time of night. He had a disheveled, frantic look, his voice was rough, and his bloodshot eyes were wild.
"I beg your pardon," he began civilly enough. "I saw your light burning, and thought, as we go by the early train to-morrow, you might allow me to consult you now on a little business of my mother's." His eyes roved about the room. Was he trying to find the whereabouts of my safe? "You know a lot about precious stones, don't you?"
"I’m sorry to interrupt," he started politely. "I noticed your light on, and since we have an early train tomorrow, I was hoping you could help me with a small matter regarding my mother." His gaze swept across the room. Was he looking for my safe? "You know quite a bit about gemstones, right?"
"So my friends are kind enough to say. Won't you sit down? I have unluckily little chance of indulging the taste on my own account," was my cautious reply.
"So my friends are nice enough to say. Won't you sit down? Unfortunately, I barely have any opportunity to enjoy it myself," was my careful reply.
"But you've written a book about them, and know them when you see them, don't you? Now my mother has given me something, and would like you to give a guess at its value. Perhaps you can put me in the way of disposing of it?"
"But you've written a book about them and recognize them when you see them, right? Now my mom has given me something and would like you to take a guess at its value. Maybe you can help me figure out how to sell it?"
"I certainly can do so if it is worth anything. Is that it?" I was in a fever of excitement, for I guessed what was clutched in his palm. He held out to me the Valdez sapphire.
"I definitely can do that if it means anything. Is that all?" I was filled with excitement because I had a feeling about what he was holding in his hand. He showed me the Valdez sapphire.
How it shone and sparkled like a great blue star! I made myself a deprecating smile as I took it from him, but how dare I call it false to its face? As well accuse the sun in heaven of being a cheap imitation. I faltered and prevaricated feebly. Where was my moral courage, and where was the good, honest, thumping lie that should have aided me? "I have the best authority for recognizing this as a very good copy of a famous stone in the possession of the Bishop of Northchurch." His scowl grew so black that I saw he believed me, and I went on more cheerily: "This was manufactured by Johannes Bogaerts—I can give you his address, and you can make inquiries yourself—by special permission of the then owner, the late Leone Montanaro."
How it shone and sparkled like a great blue star! I gave him a self-deprecating smile as I took it from him, but how could I call it fake to its face? That would be like accusing the sun in the sky of being a cheap knockoff. I hesitated and stumbled over my words. Where was my moral courage, and where was the good, honest, bold lie I needed? "I have the best authority to say this is a really good copy of a famous stone owned by the Bishop of Northchurch." His scowl darkened so much that I could tell he believed me, and I continued more cheerfully: "This was made by Johannes Bogaerts—I can give you his address, and you can ask him yourself—by special permission from the then owner, the late Leone Montanaro."
"Hand it back!" he interrupted (his other remarks were outrageous, but satisfactory to hear); but I waved him off. I couldn't give it up. It fascinated me. I toyed with it, I caressed it. I made it display its different tones of color. I must see the two stones together. I must see it outshine its paltry rival. It was a whimsical frenzy that seized me—I can call it by no other name.
"Hand it back!" he interrupted (his other comments were outrageous, but entertaining to hear); but I brushed him off. I couldn't let it go. It captivated me. I played with it, I admired it. I made it show off its different shades. I had to see the two stones side by side. I had to see it outshine its pathetic competitor. It was a crazy obsession that took hold of me—I can’t describe it any other way.
"Would you like to see the original? Curiously enough, I have it here. The bishop has left it in my charge."
"Do you want to see the original? Interestingly, I have it right here. The bishop entrusted it to me."
The wolfish light flamed up in Carwitchet's eyes as I drew forth the case. He laid the Valdez down on a sheet of paper, and I placed the other, still in its case, beside it. In that moment they looked identical, except for the little loop of sham stones, replaced by a plain gold band in the bishop's jewel. Carwitchet leaned across the table eagerly, the table gave a lurch, the lamp tottered, crashed over, and we were left in semidarkness.
The wolfish light ignited in Carwitchet's eyes as I pulled out the case. He set the Valdez down on a piece of paper, and I placed the other one, still in its case, next to it. In that moment, they looked the same, except for the little loop of fake stones, which was swapped out for a plain gold band in the bishop's jewel. Carwitchet leaned across the table with excitement, the table wobbled, the lamp tipped over, and we were left in dim light.
"Don't stir!" Carwitchet shouted. "The paraffin is all over the place!" He seized my sofa blanket, and flung it over the table while I stood helpless. "There, that's safe now. Have you candles on the chimney-piece? I've got matches."
"Don't move!" Carwitchet yelled. "The paraffin is everywhere!" He grabbed my sofa blanket and tossed it over the table while I stood there, unable to react. "There, that's safe now. Do you have candles on the mantelpiece? I've got matches."
He looked very white and excited as he lit up. "Might have been an awkward job with all that burning paraffin, running about," he said quite pleasantly. "I hope no real harm is done." I was lifting the rug with shaking hands. The two stones lay as I had placed them. No! I nearly dropped it back again. It was the stone in the case that had the loop with the three sham sapphires!
He looked really pale and excited as he lit up. "That could have been a tricky situation with all that burning paraffin, running around," he said fairly nicely. "I hope no real damage was done." I was lifting the rug with trembling hands. The two stones were just as I had left them. No! I almost dropped it back again. It was the stone in the case that had the loop with the three fake sapphires!
Carwitchet picked the other up hastily. "So you say this is rubbish?" he asked, his eyes sparkling wickedly, and an attempt at mortification in his tone.
Carwitchet quickly grabbed the other one. "So you think this is trash?" he asked, his eyes gleaming mischievously, with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.
"Utter rubbish!" I pronounced, with truth and decision, snapping up the case and pocketing it. "Lady Carwitchet must have known it."
"Complete nonsense!" I declared, firmly and confidently, grabbing the case and stashing it in my pocket. "Lady Carwitchet must have known that."
"Ah, well, it's disappointing, isn't it? Good-by, we shall not meet again."
"Ah, well, that's disappointing, isn't it? Goodbye, we won't meet again."
I shook hands with him most cordially. "Good-by, Lord Carwitchet. So glad to have met you and your mother. It has been a source of the greatest pleasure, I assure you."
I shook his hand warmly. "Goodbye, Lord Carwitchet. So happy to have met you and your mom. It has been a real delight, I promise you."
I have never seen the Carwitchets since. The bishop drove over next day in rather better spirits. Miss Panton had refused the chaplain.
I have never seen the Carwitchets since. The bishop came over the next day in a bit better spirits. Miss Panton had turned down the chaplain.
"It doesn't matter, my lord," I said to him heartily. "We've all been under some strange misconception. The stone in your possession is the veritable one. I could swear to that anywhere. The sapphire Lady Carwitchet wears is only an excellent imitation, and—I have seen it with my own eyes—is the one bearing Bogaerts's mark, the Greek Beta."
"It doesn't matter, my lord," I said to him sincerely. "We've all been under some strange misunderstanding. The stone you have is the real one. I would swear to that anywhere. The sapphire that Lady Carwitchet wears is just a really good imitation, and—I have seen it with my own eyes—it’s the one with Bogaerts's mark, the Greek Beta."
THE LOCK AND KEY LIBRARY
CLASSIC MYSTERY AND DETECTIVE
STORIES OF ALL NATIONS
TEN VOLUMES
NORTH EUROPE MEDITERRANEAN GERMAN CLASSIC FRENCH
NORTH EUROPE MEDITERRANEAN GERMAN CLASSIC FRENCH
MODERN FRENCH FRENCH NOVELS OLD TIME ENGLISH
MODERN FRENCH FRENCH NOVELS OLD TIME ENGLISH
MODERN ENGLISH AMERICAN REAL LIFE
MODERN ENGLISH AMERICAN REAL LIFE
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